B&T Extra: Oskay's Hair & Beard Trim

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show Extra: Oskay's Hair & Beard Trim

Date: December 24, 2025
Podcast: The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast

---

Episode Overview

This episode of BOB & TOM Extra centers around the comedic adventure of show regular Jeff Oskay getting a haircut and beard trim live in the studio. The crew, along with guest stylist Christine (married to show engineer Eddie), riff on Jeff’s impressive hair, his beard, and the transformation process. As always, the conversation spins off into hilarious sidebars touching on hair care, tipping customs, tattoos, and family banter, with trademark BOB & TOM irreverence and camaraderie.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jeff Oskay's Hair and Beard: The Main Event

• The episode kicks off with banter about Jeff Oskay's unruly hair and beard, prompting on-air commentary and playful jabs from the cast.
• (02:42) Josh Arnold admires Jeff's wet hair:
  "Jeff’s hair when it’s wet like that, like it’s got, you know… Looks great."
• (02:55) Tom Griswold exclaims:
  "It’s amazing. Yeah. I mean, it’s huge. I mean, it’s. It’s full. And you’re a man of a certain age with like 42 or something and plus 10 years..."
• Discussion turns to the physical transformations haircuts cause, with Jeff expressing concern about looking heavier with a clean cut and Tom comparing Jeff to Tom Hanks in Castaway (“Without the weight loss”).
  "Slick back hair. You look like a thug. That... you know, in some movie, you come and you kill somebody." (04:47, Tom)

2. Christine the Stylist and Her Artistic Vision

• Christine takes charge, describing her approach to Jeff's hair: longer on top, tight on the sides, and a blend into the beard.
  • (05:49) Christine: "I’m thinking something like we’re going to leave it a little bit longer on top and I’m not going to buzz the sides down, but it’s going to be pretty tight."
• Jeff grants her artistic license:
  "I told her she could do whatever she wants. She can give me a mohawk." (05:27, Jeff)
• Light teasing about the experience—how the haircutting process can sometimes be awkward or misunderstood.
  • (06:09) Tom: "Do you ever hear the story, ever hear the story about the... hair salon lady that called the cops cuz she thought the guy was jacking it? It turned out he was cleaning his glasses underneath the apron."

3. Product Talk and Hair History

• Jeff shares his hair routine, using “Jesse's Soft Curl,” with a riff on whether it’s a real product and references to past accusations of hair perms.
  • (06:32) Tom: "Now, Jeffrey, you say you were telling me this morning you put a so called product in your hair. Yeah. What is that called?"
  • (06:39) Jeff: "It’s Jessie's soft curl."
• Kristi Lee clarifies:
  "Yeah, it’s for curly hair... it enhances your curls." (06:41-06:46)
• Jeff clarifies his hair’s authenticity:
  "Many people thought I had my hair permed back in the 80s, but that was just my hair." (06:51, Jeff)

4. Musical Interludes and Oskay’s “Wizard of Oz” Moment

• Eddie provides improvised musical humor:
  • (07:08) Eddie sings a song about Jeff’s salon experience, riffing on "The Merry Old Land of Oz," but adapting it for Oskay:
    "He's in the shop for hair repair in the merry old land of Ozke..."

5. Tipping, Salon Culture, and Social Banter

• Christine is asked about tipping trends between male and female clients.
  • (07:54) Tom: "Who tips better? ...Men tip better or women tip better?"
  • (08:12) Christine (cheekily): "Well, it depends on what I'm wearing that day."
• Josh Arnold pushes further into taboo territory, quickly dialing it back after a laugh.

6. Family and In-Studio Dynamics

• Banter shifts to Christine being married to Eddie, the show’s engineer. Jokes about their mixed-race marriage ensue, handled with classic BOB & TOM levity.
  • (09:01) Josh: "So you’re in a mixed relationship?"
  • (09:13) Tom: "He’s going to be replacing that guy in Journey. Good." (a joke about Eddie’s Filipino heritage and Steve Perry’s replacement in Journey)

7. Distracting, Offbeat, and Behind-the-Scenes Humor

• The crew plays with Jeff’s hairstyle mid-cut, including parting his hair like Moses, evoking a barbershop quartet look, and doing faux singing routines.
  • (10:03) Tom: "Can you do me a favor, Christine, for a second? Can you part his hair in the middle like Moses?"
  • (10:18-10:23) Group breaks out in barbershop-flavored jokes and singing.
• Sound of clippers sparks a tangent about hearing loss and Tom’s inability to hear certain frequencies, with Pat and Eddie chiming in.
• Jeff laments Christine’s “dollest clippers,” joking about the pain.
  • (11:10) Jeff: "She brought some of the dollest clippers she could find. It’s ripping every hair out of my neck."

8. Tattoos: Choices and Stories

• Talk turns to tattoos—Jeff has a Libra sign tattoo, which the group teases him about.
  • (11:58) Jeff: "It basically looks like I have a hanger hanging out of the back of my shirt. It looks stupid as..."
• Tom tells a funny story about his daughter questioning family tattoo policy and inheritance.
  • (13:38) Tom: "At dinner a couple of weeks ago, she goes, dad, you said that if your kids get tattoos, they're not gonna be in the will. So does this mean that Finn and I get all the money?"

9. Show Finale: The Big Reveal and Final Banter

• As the trim wraps up, the group reviews Jeff’s new look, giving both good-natured ribbing and compliments.
  • (15:26) Josh: "Man, look at how handsome he is."
  • (15:29) Jeff: "Look at me go."
• More jokes about further grooming, including a jab at “Eddie's pubes,” which the group quickly squashes as they burst into laughter.
  • (15:40) Josh: "She's doing your pubes after this. What are Eddie's pubes like?"
• They joke about Christine and Eddie's children and family resemblance, with playful queries about DNA tests and their son’s remarkable height (over 7 feet.)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Oskay’s Hair:
  "You look like a thug. That... you know, in some movie, you come and you kill somebody." — Tom Griswold (04:47)

• On Salon Tipping:
  "Well, it depends on what I'm wearing that day." — Christine (08:12)

• On Product Usage:
  "It's Jessie's soft curl." — Jeff Oskay (06:39)

• On Family Tattoo Policy:
  "Dad, you said that if your kids get tattoos, they're not gonna be in the will. So does this mean that Finn and I get all the money?" — Tom Griswold's daughter (13:38)

• On Hair Pain:
  "It's ripping every hair out of my neck." — Jeff Oskay (11:10)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:21 – Oskay’s hair revealed, opening jokes
• 03:32-04:12 – Discussion of beard color, appearance, and comparison to Castaway
• 05:49 – Christine explains her haircutting vision
• 06:32-07:06 – Product discussion and hair routine
• 07:08-07:49 – Eddie’s hair salon musical bit
• 07:54-08:12 – Tipping habits, salon culture
• 10:03-10:23 – Barbershop quartet hairdo and song riff
• 11:10 – Complaints about dull clippers
• 11:48-12:30 – Oskay’s tattoo story
• 13:38 – Tom’s family tattoo/will anecdote
• 15:26-15:31 – Group admires Oskay’s new look

---

Episode Tone and Style

The episode brims with the high-spirited, rapid-fire banter and irreverent, affectionate teasing that define The BOB & TOM Show. The in-studio camaraderie is palpable. Laughter, gentle mockery, and absurdism reign, with the cast and guests rolling with every tangent. The show’s staples—hair, family, aging, and offbeat personal stories—are all mixed in with a healthy dose of self-deprecation.

---

Takeaway

For fans and newcomers alike, this episode is a classic display of The BOB & TOM Show’s ability to turn the mundane—in this case, a haircut—into a comedy free-for-all. With quick-witted guests and plenty of ensemble chemistry, it’s a fittingly fun and slightly chaotic listen for the holiday season.

---

Transcript

[Amazon Prime Announcer]

It's a special Christmas edition of Thursday Night Football and it's only on prime video. This week, the Denver Broncos take on the Kansas City Chiefs on Christmas night. Cap off your holiday with an old school rivalry. Coverage begins at 7:30pm Eastern with Football's Best Party TNF Tonight presented by Verizon. Not a Prime member. Not a problem. Simply sign up for a 30 day free trial. If you it's the Broncos and Chiefs Thursday at 7:30pm Eastern only on Prime Video. Restrictions apply. See Amazon.com Amazon prime for details.

[Kevin Harlan]

Kevin Harlan here. This Friday, the NBA on Prime Crew is back with another action packed doubleheader. The night starts when Jaylen Brown and the Celtics go toe to toe with Pascal Siakam and the Pacers. Then James Harden and the Clippers take on the Portland Trail Blazers. If you're not a Prime member, just sign up for a 30 day free trial. The Celtics and Pacers. The Clippers and Blazers coverage starts Friday at 7pm Eastern only on Prime. Restrictions apply. See Amazon.com amazonprime for details.

[Christopher]

Welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom extra. This is Christopher. Not only is the Bob and Tom show live every weekday morning, but every afternoon we'll give you a little extra in case you missed anything on today's big, big show. Jeff Oskay gets a hair and a beard trim. It's coming up in just a minute.

[Kevin Harlan]

Kevin Harlan here. This Friday, the NBA on prime crew is back with another action packed doubleheader. The night starts with Jaylen Brown and the Boston Celtics going toe to toe with Pascal Siakam and the Indiana Pacers. Then James Harden and the Los Angeles Clippers head to Portland to take on Shaden Sharp and the Portland Trail Blazers. It all comes your way this Friday on Prime. And if you're not a Prime member, that's not a problem. Sign up for a 30 day free trial to get started today. The Celtics and Pacers. The Clippers and Blazers coverage starts Friday at 7pm Eastern only on Prime. Restrictions apply. See Amazon.com Amazon prime for details.

[Tom Griswold]

You asked for it, you got it. More Bob and Tom. This is Bob and Tom Extra. When you arrived this morning, I didn't realize you had the fro because you said that you were usually you put, what do you call, you call it product in your hair. I love, I love that word.

[Josh Arnold]

We'll get Jeff's mic working here in a second. But I, I, I, Jeff's hair when it's wet like that, like it's got, you know.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Looks great.

[Kristi Lee]

Yeah, it Does. It's beautiful.

[Josh Arnold]

Like, he has a killer head of hair.

[Kristi Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's amazing. Yeah.

[Eddie]

Look at you.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, it's huge. I mean, it's. It's full. And you're a man of a certain age with like 42 or something and plus 10 years and always.

[Kristi Lee]

Mike's working now.

[Josh Arnold]

He's got kind of a Dennis Miller sort of. There's barely any gray in it.

[Kristi Lee]

Effortless.

[Tom Griswold]

But your beard has a touch of gray.

[Kristi Lee]

A touch.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I mean, it's not fully.

[Josh Arnold]

Saddam Hussein was trying to be polite.

[Kristi Lee]

I'm not.

[Jeff Oskay]

Thanks, Christie.

[Tom Griswold]

No, but it's kind of salt and pepper. Whereas Josh, just. Your chin is white for the most part.

[Josh Arnold]

I've got a little gray elsewhere, but yeah. Yeah, it's really.

[Tom Griswold]

And yeah, it's.

[Josh Arnold]

It's because I like that. Sweet. Sweet. And also the acidic really bleaches it out.

[Eddie]

Yeah, the juices do this.

[Kristi Lee]

All right.

[Josh Arnold]

These are.

[Eddie]

Sometimes I get the juices.

[Jeff Oskay]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I. Sorry, Chris, a couple jokes I'd like to say, but I can't due to FCC regulations and the fact that I'm.

[Josh Arnold]

A discreet person and my juice.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Jeffrey, you have a very heavy beard and it's also very long. Yes, it's several inches long. I compared him earlier, Ms. Hooker, to Tom Hanks, when he'd been stuck in the Castaway island for quite a while.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Without the weight loss.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, boy. From insulting to really insulting.

[Kristi Lee]

Why do you do that?

[Tom Griswold]

No, I was just saying you're the.

[Kristi Lee]

King of doing that. Because he's a child and he can't control the world.

[Tom Griswold]

I wanted people to. They can't see him necessarily. If they wanted to see him, what would they have to do? Ways.

[Josh Arnold]

YouTube, Tana.

[Tom Griswold]

YouTube. Thank you.

[Kristi Lee]

Yeah, just go to Bob and Tom YouTube channel.

[Tom Griswold]

You can see him when your hair is slicked back like that.

[Kristi Lee]

I don't know how I'm gonna like Clean cut Jet.

[Eddie]

Oh, wait. Wait and see.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, man. I'm gonna look so fat.

[Josh Arnold]

That happens to me, too.

[Jeff Oskay]

No, I. I am. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Slick back hair. You look like a thug. Yeah, that. You know, in some movies. In some movie, you come and you kill somebody.

[Jeff Oskay]

I like that.

[Kristi Lee]

I hear that.

[Tom Griswold]

You look like a real badass.

[Eddie]

De Niro. An angel heart, right?

[Josh Arnold]

No, it does.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Now Christine is. Is doing our. Our. The hair cutting. Etc. Are you doing the head first or the beard?

[Christine]

I think I'm gonna do the head first.

[Eddie]

Is that extra?

[Jeff Oskay]

I told her she has.

[Amazon Prime Announcer]

Sniper is on today.

[Kevin Harlan]

I know there's a blow dry.

[Tom Griswold]

What now? I feel sorry.

[Josh Arnold]

Christine, are you married?

[Eddie]

I am.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, okay.

[Jeff Oskay]

I told her she, she has free reign. I told her she could do whatever she wants. She can give me a mohawk.

[Eddie]

I don't care.

[Kristi Lee]

Are we not saying she's moving married to Eddie?

[Tom Griswold]

I already said that.

[Kristi Lee]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Christine, can you saddle up to the mic?

[Eddie]

He's the Eddie of the fire.

[Tom Griswold]

What are you thinking now? Now, Jeff, now that you've slicked his hair back, he's the. The fro is gone.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. Right. Now you have a lump of clay in front of you. What do you want to see?

[Tom Griswold]

What are you thinking?

[Christine]

I'm thinking something like we're going to leave it a little bit longer on top and I'm not going to buzz the sides down, but it's going to be pretty tight.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, tight in the back. Yeah.

[Christine]

And then we're going to blend that into this.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christine]

Get a hold of that.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh boy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

The way Christine just grabbed Jeff's beard, he loved it.

[Jeff Oskay]

This, this capes cover and everything.

[Tom Griswold]

Right. Do you ever hear the story, ever hear the story about the. The hair salon lady that called the cops cuz she thought the guy was jacking it? It turned out he was cleaning his glasses underneath the apron.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, that's what I'm doing. I'm cleaning my glasses.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Jeffrey, you say you were telling me this morning you put a so called product in your hair. Yeah. What is that called? What is it?

[Jeff Oskay]

It's Jessie's soft curl.

[Amazon Prime Announcer]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I wish I had Jesse's soft curl.

[Jeff Oskay]

Is that what it's called?

[Kevin Harlan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

What is it called? That's really what it's called?

[Kristi Lee]

Yeah, it's for curly hair.

[Tom Griswold]

And that sort of straightens it out.

[Kristi Lee]

No, I think it enhances your curls. Yeah, controls the flow.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you ever get a so called process?

[Jeff Oskay]

No, I got accused of it. Like many people thought I had my hair permed back in the 80s, but that was just my hair.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. And you, but you had the full aura, like fro.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, I had the fro.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Okay. Well, now do you have a song for us?

[Eddie]

I got a song for this whole situation.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, what is it?

[Eddie]

A joke joke here and a joke joke there. Near septic character today he's in the salon chair in the merry old land of Oscar. Clip here. Clip, clip they are. They'll be looking like the fawns. He's in the shop for. For hair repair in the merry old land of ozke. His hair is long and his beard is so unkempt. We'll Pay the stylist extra to make a second attempt. She's tax exempt. Puff, puff. She's tax exempt. Aren't you, Christine? Don't say yes. A puff, puff here and a puff, puff there. The audience applauds. There's a brand new scent now in the air in the marijuana land of Oscar.

[Tom Griswold]

All right. Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Excellent.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Christine, you cut the hair of both men and women.

[Christine]

I do.

[Tom Griswold]

Who tips better? I don't mean I'm not. Present company excluded. If you had. If you had to estimate in your career of cutting hair for so long, did men tip better than women or women better than men? Men tip better.

[Christine]

Well, it depends on what I'm wearing that day.

[Kristi Lee]

That's true, too.

[Josh Arnold]

What race tips better.

[Eddie]

Oh, gosh.

[Josh Arnold]

Is that not something we want to. Okay, all right. We don't have to get into it. You can tell me off the air.

[Tom Griswold]

Checking in on Mr. Osu.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, he sure is bleeding a lot, Christine. I thought this chick was supposed to be good.

[Kristi Lee]

Oh, my gosh.

[Tom Griswold]

Christine's doing a great job. You know, you realize that Eddie can electrocute you with one flip of a toggle?

[Josh Arnold]

You know what? You're right. I grabbed my mic and just.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. All of a sudden there's a blue flame going between your microphone and your.

[Jeff Oskay]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Christine is married to Eddie, who's our brilliant engineer.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, Eddie.

[Christine]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kristi Lee]

You know Eddie.

[Tom Griswold]

You know Handsome Eddie.

[Josh Arnold]

He's not white.

[NHTSA PSA Narrator]

What?

[Josh Arnold]

So you're in a mixed relationship?

[Kristi Lee]

What are we doing?

[Josh Arnold]

Did your parents approve of that? He's like Vietnamese or something. Yeah, something. Oh, Filipino.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes. It's all the same.

[Josh Arnold]

It's all the same from Jeff.

[Tom Griswold]

He's going to be replacing that guy in Journey. Good.

[Kristi Lee]

He's a good singer.

[Tom Griswold]

What, did Donnie used to play?

[Eddie]

Yes.

[Kevin Harlan]

I don't remember.

[Christine]

Attorney can sing.

[Josh Arnold]

Wait, wait, Eddie can sing?

[Kristi Lee]

Yeah, but.

[Josh Arnold]

But his wife is saying.

[Tom Griswold]

No, Cammy.

[Eddie]

You know, he plays guitar.

[Christine]

Really good guitar.

[Tom Griswold]

Eddie plays guitar good with Weird and Gilly and the Spiders.

[Josh Arnold]

Eddie really does play guitar.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Eddie is, what, one of the unsung hero of the show?

[Jeff Oskay]

No, he's well sung. There's plenty of singing about Eddie.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a poem, though. He's well sung and he.

[Josh Arnold]

Jeff does know a lot about the behind the scenes.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, wait a second. Can you do me a favor, Christine, for a second? Can you part his hair in the middle like Moses? Because he's going to look like. He's going to look like one of those barbershop quartet guys.

[Kristi Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, my God, look. Oh, yes. Oh, my God.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's pretty great.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's fantastic.

[Josh Arnold]

Give us a few measures of lighter, Rose.

[Tom Griswold]

Lighter, Rose. I'm home again, Rose. I want to see your beaver's day.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's in the uncut.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the cut.

[Josh Arnold]

Meredith.

[Tom Griswold]

Meredith. They cut it out of the music Man. Those candy ass. I would say to the sea of tune.

[Josh Arnold]

Jess Christie, is that sound having a Pavlovian effect?

[Eddie]

You guys run off the store to get batteries?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, sorry. What are you with morons?

[Kristi Lee]

I don't need batteries.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, no, I just. I wanted to comment on the noise we were hearing, which he doesn't hear.

[Christine]

That he can't hear the cat.

[Josh Arnold]

What's going on over there?

[Eddie]

There's a buzz. You don't hear the buzzing clippers?

[Tom Griswold]

No, that's completely out of my hearing range.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, okay.

[Kristi Lee]

Of course it is.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no, I bet whatever frequency. Can you hear that, Pat?

[Eddie]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't have that frequency anymore. Oh, okay. Well, it's going now. What's the latest with the haircut?

[Jeff Oskay]

She brought some of the dollest clippers she. She could find. It's ripping every hair out of my neck.

[Josh Arnold]

It's hard for people who aren't licensed to get.

[Eddie]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Does that feel good in the back of your neck?

[Jeff Oskay]

It feels fantastic. I feel 50 pounds lighter already.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, does your hair stop or does it just keep going down your back?

[Josh Arnold]

Christine, what a question. Is there a clear line of. Is there a clear, like, delineation between his back hair and his back of the head?

[Christine]

I don't see any back hair.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, okay.

[Kristi Lee]

Yes.

[Christine]

That's a little tattoo back there. That's pretty. Pretty cool.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a minute.

[Kristi Lee]

Oh, that's right.

[Tom Griswold]

What is the tattoo?

[Josh Arnold]

He's got that Tweety bird.

[Eddie]

German symbolism. I don't know what it is.

[Tom Griswold]

What is the one on the back of your neck?

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Kristi Lee]

Your astrological sign.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's right, Chrissy.

[Kristi Lee]

Yeah, I win.

[Tom Griswold]

What is it?

[Eddie]

Cancer?

[Jeff Oskay]

Libra.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, what does that mean? I don't follow.

[Kristi Lee]

Are those the scales?

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, it should be the scales.

[Kristi Lee]

Oh, you got the wrong side. What'd you go with?

[Jeff Oskay]

With the original? It's. It basically looks like I have a hanger hanging out of the back of my shirt. It looks stupid as. But I had to get it because at one time I was a teen unwed mother of three, so I had to get my astrological sign on the back of my neck.

[Kristi Lee]

Of course, that is hood rules.

[Tom Griswold]

Did that hurt?

[Kevin Harlan]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

It doesn't hurt getting tattooed?

[Josh Arnold]

No. You know What? Tom, I bet it would hurt you and I. Yeah, well, we have low. We have low tolerance.

[Kevin Harlan]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's not that bad. Yeah. What would you get, though, if you were going to get a tattoo?

[Josh Arnold]

That is a really good question because I've never even considered it.

[Kristi Lee]

Yeah, me.

[Josh Arnold]

So I. I.

[Tom Griswold]

Should we go around the horn and pick a tattoo for Josh?

[Eddie]

Well, it's all gonna be jokey jokes. Yeah.

[Kristi Lee]

I'm not gonna do pizza box or something horrible.

[Tom Griswold]

You have half, right? Just pizza. Just pizza.

[Josh Arnold]

Get that box out of you. That's what I request when I. When the drivers come, I go, will you stop bringing the boxes? It just slows me down. And me a hot pizza. And me a hot floppy pizza.

[Tom Griswold]

What would you get? I would. I don't think anything.

[Kevin Harlan]

I know.

[Eddie]

Forced to get something, though. What would you get if you were forced to.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a man.

[Tom Griswold]

I got a great tattoo story.

[Kristi Lee]

Oh, my.

[Tom Griswold]

My nine year old daughter, Hart.

[Kristi Lee]

Mm.

[Tom Griswold]

At dinner a couple of weeks ago, she goes, dad, you said that if your kids get tattoos, they're not gonna be in the will. So does this mean that Finn and I get all the money?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Kristi Lee]

There you go.

[Josh Arnold]

I hope you said, you know what? That's exactly right.

[Tom Griswold]

First of all, hey, I'm right here.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what?

[Jeff Oskay]

I didn't consider that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I'm not kidding. She just coughed that up.

[NHTSA PSA Narrator]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Out of nowhere.

[Kristi Lee]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Tom Griswold]

So now then, the question is, when they turn 18, will they?

[Kristi Lee]

Did Sally get one?

[Tom Griswold]

I think she doesn't know that I know. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Eddie]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. I mean, it's. Boy, try meeting a 19 year old that doesn't have a tattoo.

[Kristi Lee]

My daughter Sophie's 23. She doesn't have a tattoo. Ava does. My son doesn't. No, she would tell me. Sophie would tell me.

[Jeff Oskay]

There are some 14 and 15 year old girls on my daughter's team that have tattoos.

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Kristi Lee]

I know.

[Jeff Oskay]

They go with their moms. They have matching tattoos with their moms at 15 years old.

[Tom Griswold]

What are they of?

[Jeff Oskay]

It just says horrible parenting. Just right there on the.

[Josh Arnold]

The number for child services.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, thank you very much.

[Kristi Lee]

That looks sexy right there, what Chris is doing.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a second. Oh, I got an idea. For one second. I hope you're watching this on YouTube. Can you take his beard with your hands and make it real pointy like one of those scary Rip Van Winkle beards?

[Kristi Lee]

Oh, there you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's so weird.

[Eddie]

Rasputin look.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you look like one of those Russian philosophers that you had to suffer through in high school.

[Kristi Lee]

I didn't. Did you take a Russian philosophy class?

[Josh Arnold]

Of course.

[Tom Griswold]

Whatever. You know what I mean. One of those Eastern European commies. Sure that you're.

[Josh Arnold]

Man, look at how handsome he is.

[Eddie]

That's amazing.

[Jeff Oskay]

Look at me go.

[Kristi Lee]

You were handsome before.

[Amazon Prime Announcer]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Hooker's speechless.

[Tom Griswold]

You may want to keep the beard. I'm telling you, that looks.

[Kevin Harlan]

No, no, no.

[Eddie]

Trim it up.

[Kristi Lee]

It's gotta go. You gotta keep with Christine.

[Josh Arnold]

Know she's doing your pubes after this. What are Eddie's pubes like?

[Eddie]

Stop.

[Josh Arnold]

God. I just want to know if.

[Jeff Oskay]

Is he high and tight?

[Josh Arnold]

I want to know if Vietnamese men can grow down there like his kids are here.

[Eddie]

Stop.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, the.

[Jeff Oskay]

The.

[Kristi Lee]

Oh, they're adults. Stop it.

[Josh Arnold]

Do they speak English?

[Tom Griswold]

Where are they hiding? Where are they hiding?

[Josh Arnold]

Are they in the tunnels?

[Kristi Lee]

They're the tallest Philippine kids you'll ever see. I'll tell you that.

[Josh Arnold]

And crazy handsome.

[Tom Griswold]

Have you seen.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, I've only. I've only met one of beautiful. Oliver.

[Christine]

Oliver?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

He's seven feet tall, dude.

[Jeff Oskay]

And just now I want to see a DNA test.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

No, I believe she's the mom.

[Tom Griswold]

Christine's DNA is all over those kids. It's. It's. It's. It's. You know, Eddie's.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, Eddie's DNA is all over the back room.

[Tom Griswold]

He is alone back there. It's gonna be all over.

[Eddie]

Working on a project.

[Jeff Oskay]

Always not.

[Josh Arnold]

It's gonna be all.

[Christopher]

That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on itunes, Google play and Stitcher. For Bob and Tom. Extra. This is Christopher. Take care, everybody.

[NHTSA PSA Narrator]

Two hours ago, Kyle arrived at the bar.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, what's everyone drinking?

[NHTSA PSA Narrator]

Thirty minutes ago, Kyle got his friends another round of drinks.

[Tom Griswold]

Cheers.

[NHTSA PSA Narrator]

Five minutes ago, Kyle decided to drive home drunk. A minute ago, a law enforcement officer pulled up behind Kyle.

[Tom Griswold]

Sir, have you been drinking tonight?

[NHTSA PSA Narrator]

A chain of events that began two hours ago is about to change Kyle's whole world. Drive sober or get pulled over. Paid for by nhtsa.