B&T Extra: Patrick Keane Toledo Cruise ships

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast Episode: B&T Extra: Patrick Keane, Toledo, Cruise Ships Release Date: May 30, 2025

Hosted by The BOB & TOM Show | Cumulus Podcast Network

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Introduction to B&T Extra and Guest Patrick Keane

At the outset of this episode, host Christopher welcomes listeners to another edition of B&T Extra, a segment dedicated to providing additional content for those who might have missed the main morning show. This episode features Patrick Keane, a handsome young stand-up comedian hailing from Toledo, Ohio, who brings his unique perspective to the conversation.

Quote:

• Christopher [01:14]: "Patrick Keane plus Toledo and cruise ships all coming up right after this."

Sports Segment: "Belly Up" with Sir Charles Barkley and James Gandolfini

The show delves into the world of sports with a fictional segment titled "Belly Up", featuring NBA legend Sir Charles Barkley and the late actor James Gandolfini. They engage in a lively discussion about the excitement of baseball's Opening Day, reminiscing about the sensory experiences of the game.

Notable Quotes:

• James Gandolfini [02:45]: "Yeah, me too, Tony. There's just something cool about opening day. Everybody clips their grass, everybody ready to play ball."
• Patrick Keane [03:07]: "It's enough with the poetic justification. I mean, the fact is, they've been doing this for years."

The conversation takes a humorous turn as they critique the tradition of political figures throwing out the first pitch, pointing out its repetitive nature and potential waning enthusiasm among fans.

Quote:

• Patrick Keane [03:26]: "I'll be thankful they don't do this in football. Because the kickoff would suck every year."

Cannabis Use and Men's Sexual Function

The podcast shifts focus to a recent study highlighting the impact of cannabis use on men's sexual health. Hosts discuss how regular cannabis consumption correlates with lower sexual satisfaction, decreased desire, and increased instances of erectile dysfunction. They delve into the physiological effects, such as lowered testosterone levels and vascular issues, and ponder potential remedies.

Notable Quotes:

• Josh [09:52]: "A new study suggests cannabis use significantly reduces sexual function in men."
• Bob [10:26]: "I'm surprised they haven't come up with some way to counter that. Maybe like a combination of C. Allison. THC."

The hosts humorously riff on potential solutions, blending scientific terms with comedic wordplay.

Quote:

• Bob [11:05]: "You're killing it, Josh. That's perfect. The Kush for your push."

Interview with Patrick Keane: Toledo Roots and Sports Rivalries

Patrick Keane shares his background growing up in Toledo, Ohio—a city deeply entrenched in the cultural rivalry between Ohio State and the University of Michigan. He reflects on how this rivalry shapes community identities and football culture, particularly highlighting the intense feelings surrounding game days.

Notable Quotes:

• Patrick Keane [05:45]: "Yeah, couldn't be happier. Still pretty Good."
• Christopher [06:24]: "There are Ohio State fans, as I'm talking to you right now, that are... we lost to Michigan. And they will not get over that until they can beat them."

The conversation humorously touches on the pressures faced by coaches and the passionate fanbase's demands for success against their rivals.

Quote:

• Patrick Keane [06:43]: "He can't beat Michigan."

Experiences on Cruise Ships

Patrick also discusses his experiences performing on cruise ships, highlighting the diverse audience demographics—from retirees to young college students—and the challenges of catering humor to such varied groups.

Notable Quotes:

• Tom [07:33]: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. For the most part. Other than the shows? Other than my shows, but yeah."
• Bob [07:57]: "Like I didn't know the upside-down pineapple thing till recently on the door swing."

The hosts laugh over nautical subcultures and the hidden symbols among cruise ship communities, such as the "upside-down pineapple" indicating a swingers' community.

Quote:

• Tom [09:02]: "Gray. Very gray area. And I think it's almost like you get punished if you get caught. Oh, just don't get caught."

Survey: Dressing Up Boosts Confidence

The show presents a survey by Generation Tux, revealing that wearing more formal attire like suits or tuxedos can significantly boost men's confidence. Hosts and guests discuss the implications, sharing personal anecdotes and humorous takes on the challenges of dressing up.

Notable Quotes:

• Josh [14:57]: "The Talker research survey of American men revealed that on the average man feels nearly 70% more confident when sporting their best suit or tuxedo."
• Sir Charles Barkley [15:35]: "Generation Tux sounds like the age you get hemorrhoids."

The conversation extends to the difficulties men face in tying neckties, with hosts admitting their struggles and poking fun at the process.

Quote:

• Josh [16:49]: "One in five men admit they don't feel confident about knowing how to tie a necktie. And 50% said they cannot tie a bow tie. That's really hard."

Humorous Anecdotes and Banter

The episode is peppered with light-hearted banter and humorous exchanges among the hosts and guests. Topics range from high school experiences, such as enduring outdoor lockers, to playful jabs about personal grooming and fashion choices.

Notable Quotes:

• Sir Charles Barkley [15:46]: "I have not."
• Christopher [16:17]: "Would you like to hear about that?"

The humor reaches its peak with playful discussions about medical issues tinged with comedy, showcasing the show's signature blend of wit and camaraderie.

Quote:

• Sir Charles Barkley [16:10]: "I've never been pegged."

Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts

As the episode concludes, hosts wrap up the discussions with final humorous notes and teasers for future segments, maintaining the engaging and entertaining tone that listeners expect from The BOB & TOM Show.

Quote:

• Christopher [21:00]: "Take care, everybody."

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Conclusion

This episode of B&T Extra offers a vibrant mix of sports commentary, insightful discussions on health studies, candid conversations with comedian Patrick Keane about his Toledo roots and cruise ship experiences, and engaging segments on men's confidence and fashion. The blend of humor, relatability, and diverse topics ensures a compelling listen for both regular fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

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[Bob]

I found a kid who swings a golf club like a dream. I'd like to try to qualify him for the US Amateurs coming to Apple tv.

[Tom]

Plus, what's your name? I'm not into older guys, but I'm flattered.

[Bob]

A new comedy series. Stick, I don't want to go on this trip. Your mouth's saying one thing, but those.

[Christopher]

Eyes are saying something else.

[Bob]

From the home of Ted Lasso, you see your shot at redemption. This is your mulligan, Owen Wilson. This game takes in it than the game's finally giving me something back. Stick, you know Arnold Palmer, iced tea, lemonade.

[Patrick Keane]

Mix it.

[Bob]

I'm missing a nap for this. Streaming June 4th on Apple TV.

[Christopher]

Welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom extra. This is Christopher. Not only is the Bob and Tom show live every weekday morning, but every afternoon we'll give you a little extra in case you missed anything on the show today. Patrick Keane plus Toledo and cruise ships all coming up right after this.

[AutoZone Representative]

Welcome to AutoZone. What are you working on today?

[Bob]

My car is making this noise.

[AutoZone Representative]

Sometimes it's like.

[Tom]

And sometimes it's like.

[AutoZone Representative]

Do you have a dash light on?

[Patrick Keane]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom]

And we don't have to listen for clues.

[AutoZone Representative]

With the free fix finder service, we can read a check engine, ABS or maintenance light to find the likely fix and even recommend a local shop if you need one.

[Tom]

So you don't need to hear the.

[AutoZone Representative]

Not with fix finder. Everything you need. Nothing you don't get in the zone.

[Bob]

Auto zone restrictions apply.

[Tom]

All right, sports fans, the boys of summer are back.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

And so are the boys of Belly Up.

[James Gandolfini]

It's time for James Gandolfini and Sir Charles Barkley with the most comprehensive sports.

[Tom]

Show on radio, plus your phone calls.

[AutoZone Representative]

Let's belly up.

[James Gandolfini]

All right. Welcome to a play ball edition of Belly Up. I'm former NBA MVP Sir Charles, joined by the former MVP of the HBO series the Sopranos, James Gandolfini. What up, Tony? You excited? Baseball underway?

[Patrick Keane]

Yeah, couldn't be happier. Still pretty Good.

[James Gandolfini]

Yeah, me too, Tony. There just something cool about opening day. Everybody cut their grass, Everybody ready to play ball. Everybody.

[Patrick Keane]

Yeah, well, maybe. Who cares, right?

[James Gandolfini]

But what about the sound of the crack of the first bat? Smell of popcorn, peanuts, Cracker Jack, first pitch, all the things.

[Patrick Keane]

Easy. It's enough with the poetic justification. I mean, the fact is, they've been doing this for years. Every year, some political prick comes out, tips his cap, waves to the crowd, and then kabam. His first pitch. Needs a cutoff man. The one last year had more hops than a beer.

[Tom]

Oh, right.

[Patrick Keane]

I'll be thankful they don't do this in football. Because the kickoff would suck every year.

[James Gandolfini]

Oh, come on now, Tron. It's for the kids.

[Patrick Keane]

Oh, yeah? Then why do they start in the middle of a school day? What kids are trying to earn.

[James Gandolfini]

Actually, Tony, for the record, the baseball season officially started last week. Before school.

[Patrick Keane]

Eh, how convenient. Japan or the kid's my ass. Told Billy Baseball to put a passport in his backpack. Just like the idiots who run your sport every year. The NBA? Oh, we're gonna be global. Maybe China. Then after war, who cares? What the ever. Jesus. How about trying to get more than 40 people in a Hawks game?

[Christopher]

Jes.

[James Gandolfini]

Well, there has been some good, Tony. When you think I played overseas exhibition team in China and brought this back. Yeah, it's called the Mugu Guy Bar. It's the ball.

[Patrick Keane]

Let me see it. Moogle Guy Bar. Not bad. It's like the Moogle Guy without the pan. Go take. I start acting. I could use a talker.

[James Gandolfini]

Yeah, but the bad news is you can't get them over here. Got to go to China.

[Patrick Keane]

Jesus. China. A long way for a candy bar, but it's pretty good. All right, book the flight. We're leaving.

[Christopher]

Yeah, we know it's a repeat, but things are always better the second time around. This is Bob and Tom.

[Tom]

Extra.

[Christopher]

Hello, Tom.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

Yes, we'd be remiss if we didn't mention you. You laid on a reference just now to. I think we're alone now.

[Josh]

Thank you.

[AutoZone Representative]

Children, behave.

[Josh]

Thank you. Nobody else got that?

[Sir Charles Barkley]

Isn't that from 50 songs? It's not the Tiffany version, is it? Tommy James.

[Josh]

Tommy James and the sh.

[Christopher]

I think we're alone now.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

Yes.

[Josh]

Great song.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

I don't hate the Tiffany.

[Christopher]

What about Crystal Blue Persuade?

[Josh]

That's not Evenson and Clover.

[Christopher]

That's not even the best Tommy James.

[Bob]

Money, money, money.

[Christopher]

You painfully unhip. What?

[Bob]

Is it true that he saw the M Y Mutual with New York sign.

[Christopher]

And wrote that's absolutely true.

[Bob]

Okay, very good. Our guest has no idea what's happening. Patrick Keane, handsome young man, stand up comedian, is here with us in the studio. You are a Buckeye. You said you grew up in Toledo, Ohio?

[Tom]

Yeah. You know, Toledo's border town. So there's a lot of Michiganistan fans. You know, there's a lot of Wolverines. So the Friday before that game, all the schools the kids dress in, whichever one of those two. And it's funny because you, like, you travel around the country, there's no other rivalry. Like I, you know, and then I went to high school in Southern California and people said, oh, usc, UCLA is just as big. I'm like, it doesn't touch no state. Michigan. Yeah. I mean, and Toledo was almost a Michigan town. That, that, that, Right? Battle war.

[Bob]

Yeah, yeah, that's right. We learned all about that.

[Tom]

Oh, you did? Oh, okay.

[Bob]

You're just talking about it. Last week there was an actual war. No, no blood was shed, though. Is that correct? Did they pick off one guy? Maybe?

[Christopher]

Well, to give you an idea, there are Ohio State fans, as I'm talking to you right now, that are. Yeah, we won the national championship, but we lost to Michigan. And they will not get over that until they can beat them. You wait and see.

[Bob]

And they want the coach out.

[Christopher]

Yes. They thought, yeah, he just won that. Shut up. Fire him.

[Tom]

He can't beat Michigan.

[Bob]

Patrick, we established the fact that you are a single male of a certain age.

[Tom]

That's right. That's right. Single, never been married. You know, I, I'm not a, I'm not a father, husband. I do have all the side effects. I'm tired, I'm out of shape, I don't have any money.

[Christopher]

Right.

[Tom]

I yell at other people's children.

[Bob]

So there you go.

[Tom]

I'm like a dad.

[Christopher]

That sounds good, right? That's dead on.

[Josh]

Do you want to get married and have kids?

[Tom]

I don't know. That's a good point. I, I, Good question. I, I don't know. I think I'm old enough now to do the sugar daddy thing. Problem is, there's no sugar I haven't saved. Be like a sugar free daddy. Yeah.

[Christopher]

Unequal.

[Bob]

Did. I mean, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Unequal. These are all good. Now, you have been traveling the world. I understand you. You do the cruise ships on occasion.

[Tom]

Yeah, a little. The cruise ships. It's tough though, because you have so many different elements on a cruise ship. Right. You have retirees, you got young college kids, you've got the upside down pineapple people.

[Christopher]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Tom]

To get all them to laugh at the same thing. Not easy. Not funny. You know I do.

[AutoZone Representative]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Like I didn't know the upside down pineapple thing till recently on the door swing.

[Josh]

Swingers.

[Bob]

Wow.

[Christopher]

Yeah. I don't see you as being a big.

[Bob]

No.

[Christopher]

A force in the swinger community.

[Bob]

And also on the topic of pineapple, there's a restaurant I go to when I order a thing of fruit. I don't want 90 pineapples. Stop it.

[Christopher]

What do you want?

[Bob]

I want raspberries, blueberries. The pineapple stink.

[Christopher]

What about melon? A nice melon.

[Bob]

Occasionally.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

Honeydew.

[Christopher]

You can have a little pineapple, though, right?

[Bob]

Their tea stinks. Oh, I got to get him to switch to java.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

For the most part. Do you like the ships, Patrick?

[Tom]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For the most part. Other than the shows? Other than my shows, but yeah. No, you're traveling, you're eating endlessly. It's funny that you eat that they have those buffets because you'd think, like, you need to stay afloat, but you eat those buffets, the ship gets further, further.

[AutoZone Representative]

Go crazy.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

I had no idea. Worked like that.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Tom]

You leave as a ship, you come back to port as a submarine, and.

[Bob]

You'Re not allowed to. What's the word?

[Josh]

Fratinize with the guests, hang out.

[AutoZone Representative]

It depends on the actual. Yeah.

[Christopher]

Bang the help, I think, is.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

What?

[AutoZone Representative]

On carnival, you can't bang the help.

[Bob]

Do you have, like, a separate. Is there like a little nightclub just for the staff?

[Tom]

Yes, there is a crew bar.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

And.

[Bob]

Yeah. Can you.

[Tom]

Gray. Very gray area. And I think it's almost like you get punished if you get caught. Oh, just don't get caught.

[AutoZone Representative]

A lot of guys are real sneaky about it. Yeah.

[Bob]

Have you ever had a. Yeah.

[Tom]

Doing some of the things that I've done. Yeah. Yeah. Naturally things happen, you know, on the high seas.

[Bob]

Sure.

[Christopher]

You can't stop international waters out there.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

On the shop, anything.

[James Gandolfini]

Right.

[Bob]

So some of these things are still perfectly legal, if you're right, 20 miles offshore.

[AutoZone Representative]

You know, people know how to stay on the cameras.

[Bob]

Yeah. Oh, say, speaking of offshore and illegal, did you see this marijuana survey? This is kind of an interesting story. We like to look at these various studies. Cannabis in the news all the time now because it's legal and what is it, 20? I can never remember where it's legal anymore.

[Josh]

But new study suggests cannabis use significantly reduces sexual function in men. Researchers found men who regularly use cannabis reported lower sexual satisfaction, lower sexual desire, and more Erectile dysfunction.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Cannabis users also struggled with sexual. Struggled with sexual esteem and elevated sexual related depression. Chronic use has been linked to lower testosterone levels, vascular problems, and disruptions in brain regions that regulate sexual function.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

Interesting.

[Bob]

I'm surprised they haven't come up with some way to counter that. Maybe like a combination of C. Allison. Thc.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

You know, thc, Alice.

[Bob]

Oh, you got it right there. Thc, Alice. It makes you. What? How do I word this? Delicately.

[Josh]

I don't know how high and hard.

[Bob]

You're killing it, Josh. That's perfect. The. The Kush for your push. There you go. Thank you very much.

[Tom]

Something's coming. I mean, somebody. Something.

[Bob]

Is this. I don't smoke pot. Is this a thing, though? I mean, is this like the equivalent of whiskey dick?

[Sir Charles Barkley]

I think this is more long term.

[Josh]

Oh, is it?

[Sir Charles Barkley]

Yes, from what I've read, it is. Yeah.

[Josh]

I am not a usual. I don't know, because I have never.

[Bob]

So.

[Josh]

Because I've never been with a man who uses a lot of marijuana and I've.

[AutoZone Representative]

That you know of.

[Josh]

Well, that's true.

[AutoZone Representative]

Andy has many secrets.

[Josh]

Oh, God. Andy's the last.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

You mean the Token Captain?

[Bob]

That's what we call him. Yeah.

[AutoZone Representative]

I mean, where is. Where is he? It's 4am, Andy.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

You mean.

[Christopher]

Are you. Are you talking about Chief Big Bong?

[Bob]

So.

[Christopher]

So smoke them peace pipe.

[Bob]

What you're saying, Josh, is this is. So if you get super high, it.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

Doesn'T mean that it might affect you then. But this is more long term.

[Bob]

Use it over the long term.

[Josh]

Regular user, like.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

Right.

[Bob]

Okay, so like Bong Dong or something.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

Might be a thing.

[Christopher]

He's got a new movie out, Mickey 17. It's really good.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

Oh, no, that's Bong. Who?

[Bob]

June or whatever.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

Sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, you're right. When you're right, you're right.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

Robert Patterson, a great little actor.

[Bob]

Our guest in the studio is the very handsome Patrick Keane. Patrick, you said your parents won from Michigan, one from Ohio.

[Christopher]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Now you're living in Arizona.

[Tom]

I'm living in Arizona.

[Bob]

I got all that. Are you of Irish heritage, I assume with a name like that.

[Tom]

Yeah, I grew up Irish. I'm not practicing anymore.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

Oh, okay.

[AutoZone Representative]

Put the bottle down.

[Bob]

But.

[Tom]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When we used to, like, you know, whenever our dad caught us drinking beer as kids, we were only punished if it was non alcoholic. You guys.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

Yeah, that's an Irish family. Oh, yeah.

[Christopher]

That's way Irish.

[Tom]

We have a reputation to uphold, you know. You kids are out of here.

[AutoZone Representative]

It's A well earned one.

[Bob]

Now what, you went to high school though?

[Tom]

In San Diego, in Santa Margarita. Carson Palmer just got named our high school football coach out there. So he's, he's coaching our old high school team there and. Yeah. Raised in the suburbs and a lot of suburban fathers, you guys know this. A lot of suburban fathers think their kids are going to the pros and it's not happening. And it's like, yeah, your son's in the wrong end zone pretending he's an airplane, you know, playing with, you know, playing with dandelions. I don't think he's going to play in the NFL. My dad did his part. He was a big guy who's athletic. But if you want a son in the big leagues, you need to marry a big farm girl or a tough inner city girl or a big, tough South Pacific island woman.

[Bob]

Absolutely.

[Tom]

When you marry a sweet little Irish girl who likes musicals, your son might turn out to be a misshapen stand up comedian.

[Bob]

Yeah, I see, I see. Very good, very good from you. Thank you. Patrick Keane is our guest. I turn over that way and I.

[Josh]

Say, can I ask a question? What was your high school team name? The Santa Margarita Eagles.

[Tom]

Because there's mountains there and there's eagles.

[Josh]

Not the Pinot Grigios, know.

[Tom]

Oh, that would have been great.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

Now, did you go to one of those LA high schools that had the outdoor lockers that I. Yeah, we had outdoor lockers.

[Christopher]

Yeah.

[Tom]

And now no lockers.

[Christopher]

That is so weird.

[Bob]

It's like then they. Now the malls are that way in. Out in California in some place. Outdoor lockers, Cool. Every TV show, don't they use the same school for every.

[Christopher]

Well, tell me, I can record one show and watch another. I don't know what you're talking about when you say outdoor locker lockers. I don't get it. You had indoor lockers, right? You're a good Ohio boy, just like me.

[Bob]

Inside here, of course.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

Oh, yeah, Locks would freeze.

[Christopher]

Absolutely. Right.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

All right.

[Bob]

I had to wear a coat and tie all through high school.

[Christopher]

Oh, speaking of that, I bet you did, you privilege. Sorry, my fault.

[Josh]

A new poll shows that wearing more dressy attire can give the average man a confidence boost.

[Christopher]

Is that right?

[Josh]

Commissioned by Generation Tux, the Talker research survey of American men revealed that on the average man feels nearly 70% more confident when sporting their best suit or tuxedo.

[Christopher]

70%. That's a huge amount of racehorse.

[Bob]

Could I once again say consider the source Generation Tux. First of all, great name. Oh, that Is a great name. And this is. Obviously, this is the season.

[Josh]

Or tuxedo.

[Bob]

Or tuxedo rattle is a big prom, weddings, everything.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

Yeah, Generation Tux sounds like the age you get hemorrhoids. Oh, it's part of generation tux.

[Christopher]

Yeah, you've got that soothing cool.

[Josh]

Or after you've had a baby.

[Bob]

Is there an age component to roids?

[Christopher]

I think so. Just everything's been around long enough.

[Bob]

You ever had them?

[Christopher]

Gravity takes its toll. No, thankfully, I have not.

[Bob]

Pat.

[AutoZone Representative]

Never had him.

[Bob]

Joshi.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

No, I've had an anal. Yes. Anal fisher.

[Christopher]

Everybody get comfortable.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

I know. I'm a anal fisher. I like to put treble hooks up there.

[Christopher]

Now, I had a. I don't know.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

How I got the anal fissure. And I asked and. And they said it just happened.

[AutoZone Representative]

Begging.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

I've never been pegged.

[Christopher]

I had a. I had a fistula on my tailbone.

[Bob]

Oh, dear. That's.

[Christopher]

Would you like to hear about that?

[Bob]

I hope they eased it in.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

I encounter.

[Christopher]

It's an ingrown hair that they found when I was a senior in high school.

[Josh]

That had to hurt.

[Christopher]

They had to sew me back up. I had two holes. Two holes? No way.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

We have to do calf fistula for help.

[Bob]

Okay, we can do that now, but. So the point of this survey is if you're wearing fancier clothes, you. You behave better.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

I disagree.

[Josh]

You feel more confident.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

I feel way less confident when I'm dressing.

[Josh]

That's really surprising. 85 said they know the difference between a suit and a tuxedo. 15% of men don't know the difference.

[Tom]

That's. That's about right.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

I'm sure a lot of.

[Bob]

A lot of guys never have to get dressed up at all.

[Josh]

All right. One in five men admit they don't feel confident about knowing how to tie a necktie. And 50% said they cannot tie a bow tie. That's really hard.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

I can't either.

[AutoZone Representative]

Try.

[Bob]

I. I have a fake bow tie.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

Yes.

[Bob]

Most men I have a clip on.

[Christopher]

I'm bow tie.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

Now, I don't own any clip on neckties, but you guys know I am a big proponent of them.

[Josh]

10% of the people surveyed do.

[Bob]

I am not. I don't know.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

You cannot tell the difference.

[Bob]

When I went to high school, the first day there, they walk around and they grab your tie and yank it. And there was one guy had a fake tie on.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

The preppy bully. Worse.

[Bob]

Oh, no, there isn't. Yeah. Try. Try having no pubic hair. You wonder why I hate athletes. There you go.

[Christopher]

Hey, piglet, get over here.

[Bob]

Yeah, I looked like Patrick Keane after he got out of the.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Bob]

A cold tub, you know? Okay. But, yeah, I can tie a regular tie, obviously. Sure, sure.

[Josh]

But not obviously. A lot of men can't. I bet.

[Bob]

I just had to wear one for something and it took me five or six tries. I kept having the yes back part a little too low.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

I was gonna say. I never nail it first time.

[AutoZone Representative]

Never ever.

[Bob]

But I love it in the movies where the guy does that. Takes a pair of scissors and cuts it off. I got it. Now we're good.

[Christopher]

No. What is that, a Stooges movie?

[Tom]

I don't think anybody.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

Yeah, Harpo Marx.

[Bob]

Oh, it's the best.

[Christopher]

What?

[Bob]

Yeah. And of course, I have a couple of Jerry Garcia ties, which of course ties into our theme today, which is the song Direwolf.

[Christopher]

Yeah, let's get back to that.

[Josh]

Are you familiar with Direwolf?

[Christopher]

Hi. Welcome to hell. This is our theme song.

[Bob]

Know this, Patrick?

[Tom]

I don't know this one.

[Christopher]

Of course not. No one alive.

[Bob]

Here's the hook right now. Don't murder me, Jerry Garcia. And. And Robert Hunter wrote that one for the Grateful Dead. And the dire wolf is in the news because some corporation is doing the CRISPR Genome splicing or whatever the hell, and they're creating new diaries.

[Josh]

I think we are alone now, Josh.

[Christopher]

Okay.

[Bob]

Sorry. So would you wear a clip on tie then, Josh?

[Sir Charles Barkley]

I don't, but I think we. I think they should be socially acceptable. They look. If you had a lineup of 10 guys and they're all wearing neckties, you could not pick out the guy who was wearing the clip on.

[Bob]

No, couldn't.

[Christopher]

They're fantastic.

[Bob]

You have a clip on ascot, is that correct?

[Christopher]

Yes, of course. Absolutely.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

That's from the Charles Nelson Riley line.

[Christopher]

It's in the same box as my cigarette holder.

[Bob]

Is anybody trying to.

[Josh]

Smoking jacket?

[Christopher]

Percy Dove tonsils is what I like to go by.

[Bob]

Is there a contemporary actor that is trying to pull off the ascot?

[Christopher]

I don't think so.

[Bob]

Peter Bogdanovich, the director, did it a lot.

[Josh]

I think the ascot looks very cool.

[Christopher]

Really?

[Josh]

Very European. Very cool. Yeah.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

I've always wanted to look like Mr. Furley.

[Christopher]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[AutoZone Representative]

All in on the bend.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

Okay, Mr. Paul Lynn, while we have you here, I did have a question. Where is the Sistine Chapel located?

[AutoZone Representative]

Right next to the 15th Chapel.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

That's Paul Lampard.

[Bob]

Now, you drove Paul in around Kenley Players, right?

[AutoZone Representative]

Columbus, Ohio. I drove him around. He had issues. Issues with drinking. So they didn't want to have him get another dui. So it was my job.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

Will you please tell the story of. There was an aroma and he. He claimed. And you can use the V word.

[AutoZone Representative]

Okay. Got.

[Sir Charles Barkley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[AutoZone Representative]

I was. I was taking him. I got him off the plane and you got.

[Bob]

You took him from the airport. Get him off on the plane. I'm sure that for. You were a desperate actor. Well, just this one.

[AutoZone Representative]

I had a window on my hand. Took him to this horrible Volkswagen. I had him and his partner, and they had two dogs with them. And I drive them to Columbus. Across from the Neil house was. It was where the show was at. And there's a trailer behind the theater. And I get him the trailer. It has been clean. Henry Winkler was there the week before. And it's filthy. It's just stuff everywhere. And he comes into the trailer and he goes, it smells like vagina. I think.

[Christopher]

That'S it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on itunes, Google play and stitch For Bob and Tom. Extra.

[Bob]

This is Christopher.

[Christopher]

Take care, everybody.

[Advertiser]

Actor Michael Rosenbaum. You know some of the most talented people in the business.

[Tom]

Let's get inside of Jack Osborne.

[Bob]

Bands would say Black Sabbath was a huge influence. And thank God you liked it, boy. Yeah.

[Tom]

Elijah Wood. Peter gets on the phone. Elijah, would you like to play the role of Rhoda? Did you cry? Probably screamed at the top of my lungs. You play iconic characters Black Canary and Black siren. Who would you choose? Probably Black Siren.

[Josh]

She was like, I got this.

[Tom]

And that's how Katie Cassidy feels. She's got this. I like that.

[Advertiser]

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