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B&T Extra: Pat's fixed car, & a stuck sex toy
00:22:37
On today's Extra, Pat's fixed car, & a stuck sex toy
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Josh
My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career Day and said he was a big roas man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friends still laugh at me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to LinkedIn.com results to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn the place to be, to be. Live from Radio City Music hall, it's the SNL50 homecoming concert. Featuring performances by Arcade Fire, the B52, Backstreet Boys, Bad Bunny, Bonnie Raitt, Brittany Howard, Brandi Carlisle, Chris Martin, Dave Grohl, David Byrne, Devo, Eddie Vedder, Jack White, Jelly Roll, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Mumford and Sons, Post Malone, the Roots and more. Celebrating 50 years of SNL music. Streaming live tonight, 8pm Eastern, 5pm Pacific, only on Peacock. Welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom extra. This is Christopher. Not only is the Bob and Tom show live every weekday morning, but every afternoon. We'll give you a little extra. In case you missed anything on the big show today, Pat's fixed car and a stuck sex toy. You'll hear about that coming up in just a minute. This episode is brought to you by Meundies. Underwear drawers are like the Wild West. You never know what you're going to pull out or what shape it's in. So upgrade your collection with the buttery, soft comfort of Meundies. Meundies signature fabric is as soft as a warm hug from your favorite sweater. Plus, it's breathable and oh, so comfy, making it ideal for all day wear. Get 20% off your first order, plus free shipping at MeUndies.com Spotify with code Spotify. That's MeUndies.com Spotify code Spotify. Joining us in the studio, professional comedian Sean Mori is here with us. Sean, nice to see you. I get annoyed by certain things. You know, little things. People who use the word friggin. Friggin. What the hell is that? Make a stand, say the F word or say golly gosh darn. What does friggin mean anyway? I'm almost mad enough to cuss. Don't push me. I'll say friggin. I don't give a shooby doobie. I heard a funny word the other day. Crepes. Cripes. I said for crepe's sake, who would that be? Jesus Christ. The son of Gosh of the Church of Holy Moly. I'm not making fun of it. Gosh, I don't want to go to heck. Bravo. I believe in Jesus Christ and his mother. Jeez Louise. All the disciples. Golly G willikers. Goody goody gumdrops G wiz. Holy cow by gum and sweet patootie. There's too much obscenity. Really? What do you mean? Now how about these kids you see wearing obscene T shirts out in public? He's wearing a shirt that says shut up bitch. What's he trying to prove? His mother didn't dress him. Oh, Bobby, wear your shut up bitch T shirt today. You look so cute in that. Oh, no, I don't want to. Oh, come on. Wear your blow me shirt. I mean, when I was a teenager, we wore T shirts that said make love, not war. Right? Now they say eat crap and die. I think they're setting their goals high enough. I'll bet it wasn't really crap, was it? That's something else in that church, isn't it? I'm walking with my grandmother. A guy walks by with a T shirt that says eat me raw. I'm like, grandma, I'm really sorry you had to see that. She said, oh, screw him. Wasn't screw either, was it, Frigg? No, she made a stand. She took a stand. Now some more Bob and Tom. This is Bob and Tom. Extra not celebrating cuz his car is repaired. Oh my gosh, what a weekend. Duct tape. People are sad though. They. You've been driving around for more than a year with it that that body damaged your car. Looks great though. Now this will help you on those dates. How? Help out a lot. How long will it be before he dents it again? Pat, you don't want to date a woman who's going to judge you for a few dents in your car. A few. Yeah, they all judge Josh. They all wonder why. The thing is with the dents are all rusty. You know, they've been there for a long time. That was the problem. But now it's. And it's not the denting. It's the fact that you're either. It shows you're either too lazy or poor. Well, but you. It was all taped up. It looks good now. It looks very nice. Or possibly both. Guy that did it, did that for you. Did a very nice job. Yeah. Thank you, Dustin. Thank you, Dusty. Dustin. Dustin. I might need your number, dude. Okay. I might have had an incident. It's dust in the wind. Auto repair Dustin the Wind. That's his nickname. His nickname is the Wind. The Wind. They call him the Wind. The Wind. Okay. I know a guy they call the Breeze. Oh, really? Uriah Heap. And Leonard's full of references. Now, Josh, of course, is now famous for toting around this giant jug of water with all kinds of marks on it, I guess, marking the time of day. Yeah. Fluid ounces. Centiliters. What? All the milliliters and ounces. Yeah. Okay. And then, interestingly enough, the city where Josh was born, St. Louis, Missouri, has decided to back up Josh. So now it's just. It's like. It's so big that it says welcome to St. Louis right there on the side of the thing, like you're driving into town and, oh, look, there's the town Watertown tower. Oh, I. Okay. It was a water tower joke. Yeah. I was like, where's he going? There's a lot of water in there. St. Louis is sponsoring Josh. So you're supposed to drink, what, 8, 16 ounces? I think so glasses of water a day? Is that it? Or. Or 4. 42 liter bottles of diet Pepsi a day? Oh, okay. It's the same thing. Your body doesn't know. You won't bully me out of doing this. I'm just letting you know your. Your. Your battle, you will lose. And by the way, speaking of that, whose day is it? Not me. I'm a little dehydrated. It'll turn it yellow. Okay. Okay, Remember the rule. You got to really hydrate. So when you're okay, can you imagine? Are you allowed to put ice in there? Sure. Okay. Like, I can put whatever I want in here. Is the hole big enough to put ice in there? The. The hole? Well, yeah. Yeah. Put cubes in there. Oh, there you go. Yeah, Put Kool Aid in there. Fascinated with this. You have a Kool Aid, too? I can fill this thing with all you if I wanted to. That's now, maybe. Maybe over there, maybe on the weekends. Just gravy. That's basically a ju. Is basically gravy. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The white sauce. Much more liquid gravy. There's a certain viscous quality, A thick. I got everybody pairs their shoes for Christmas. You did? Yes. Yeah. There's the shoes. Nothing. Okay, well, let's move forward here. What's happening? Dear Josh. Oh, dear Chick, pass this along to Josh. Hi. I was watching Tick Tock the other day, and lo and behold, Bob Welch popped up singing Sentimental Lady. I started laughing very hard because all I heard was Josh Singing like Bob Welch. Well, I believe. Chick, I gotta give credit where credit's due here. I believe you first mentioned that this is the team game. Well, it sure has become. But I. I was saying how much I enjoyed much of his work. Yes. Oh, no. He's fantastic. What a natural voice, huh? Real smooth. Oh, here it comes. Yeah, go. Your eyes got me dreaming. Hey, mom, we're playing dance song again. What? Really? Come on. That's a great. Here, listen to this one. See, the signs were like glass. This is. That's where it started. That actually when he sings, Glass picked all this up lamb. And if any man's hand made that man. That's great guitar playing, great melody. We're not. That's not the issue. Issues the singing. Yeah. Bob, we're gonna need another one. Yeah. Did I not say glass? Let me try. Let me. Hang on. I'm gonna hear him say glass. Hold on. See, the sides were like glass. Okay. There's a lot of. Something. A lot of hissing going on. Have you been watching Sesame street again? Are you trying to talk like the Muppets? Is that what you're doing? It's very nice song, Whale. Well, drinks out of a jug. I drink out of a glass. Very nice. So it's all over Tick Tock. Now, all over Tick Tock is Bob. Well, all over Tick Tock. Also, our song Camel Toe is everywhere on Tick Tock. Now, the Bob and Tom Band and Orchestra people seem to like that one. And they're doing all kinds of funny videos based on it. Now, this concerns Mike Mark. We got an email from a listener, and Mike Mark is whatever is our clearinghouse, if you will, for the emails. And he puts them in order and things like that. And he. He wanted to. He had a listener ask. There was a certain Pat Daly song that he was trying to find. And he emailed. What's up with that? Can you help him? Help me with the title? And Mike Mark sent back, of course. Here's the title of the song. And I can't find it right now because I'm nervous because Tom will yell at me if I don't have it right away and read this really fast song so we can get it. I. Well, I don't want to hear it. So out drinking and piss on all the cars. Oh, I love this. So Mark signs all of his emails to listeners. Mike Mark. Right. Okay. Mike Sl. Mark. So damned if this guy doesn't. Thank you for helping me. I really do appreciate it. I love the show. My best to you both. Mike Mark, do you want to. Do you want to explain the origin story? Because you called him mike for 17 years. You want to know why I know that had something to do with it. I stole it from Carol O'Connor on All in the Family because he used to say, the Reverend Felcher Fletcher. Whatever. So I. I went, mike. When I said Mike, you corrected me. Very good. Because you've been calling him Mike for so long, right? He should have stood up and explained it. Would you know him on site? Which one? Who? Who? If you ran into him at Home Depot, would you go, oh, Mike. If you weren't handing you a Starbucks, you would be able to recognize him. I don't know. The birthday Chip McGee celebrating with us all today is. Well, it begins and ends with Donnie Iris and the greatest song ever written. Wanna explain who Donny Iris is, really? Is this like late 70s, early 80s for that glam metal era pop star? Yeah. Is this glam metal? I just think it's a good. It's right before that, I think. Think. Yeah, yeah, I think it's a good song. We should play. It's a great. Love Is Like a Rock. No, that's an awful song. Love is Like a Rock. This has more hooks than a tackle box. I'm in right away. I love it. Love that song is. Love Is Like a Rock. Has the. And the radio told me. Is that the one? No, no, no, that was by Reunion. What was that one? The guy talks really fast. All right. Life is a Rock. Life is a Rock. Okay, but the radio. Roll me. You remember how gorgeous that song is. It's kind of like Love is Like a Rock or whatever. Of course. Bob Seeger, Like a Rock. Paul Simon, I Am a Rock. Oh, sure. Oh, we're gonna do all rock songs. Literally. Great. Yeah. Moana. I'm pretty sure the rock sings a few songs in that. She does. Here we go. This is a. This is. Life Is a Rock. Okay, wait a minute. Okay, here's. Here's my favorite song by Donnie Iris. Your head starts moving, singing along. You're humming. And here's Ace's favorite song. No, no, this. This is the real. This is. Life Is a Rock. Never mind. Here we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to know all the words, but I don't any. I love this song. I. And then it just. It just. It just sort of takes. Takes about a hundred plus names from pop culture and crams them in there. That's a karaoke song. That'd be sober for that. I don't want to Hear you making fun of Lil Nas X or Dababy or whoever else. That was garbage. That was terrible. Well, I think it was kind of underscoring some of the great people in the world of pop music. Not the Hoople in there. I heard that. Yeah. Very early on. It's like a list song, right, Tommy, you love those. Those lists. Yeah, just. It crams everything in there. Artfully shoving them in. Let's listen to be. Listen very carefully. You're right, Matthoo. Very early on. Listen to that electric piano I like. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah. But then the guy starts talking. BB Bumble and the Stingers, Rachel Singers, Lonnie Mac Twang. I. I don't even know. I heard Lonnie Mack. The Twang. The Staple Singers was in there. Okay. Yes. That was one of those things you had to kind of in those days, write it down. You couldn't look up. I'm sure you can find the lyrics in the Internet. Oh, I have no doubt they're out there. Yeah. Keep them in the same folder as my Kantos by Ezra Pound. Right now, coming up in Sports World Records. World Records, buddy. Involving eggs again. And good old. The good old Rubik's Cube. Okay, again. Christia, how many eggs do you think you could hold in one hand? Oh, are they raw? I dropped a raw. Well, this isn't just holding. Probably 18. 18? Yeah, at the grocery store. You just take them right off the Jumbo xl. Oh, I'm sorry. Without the carton. Good job. You trick stuff. Small hands. I'm gonna say three. I bet I could hold three. No, you can't hold three. How many eggs could you hold in one box? Not. Not. I bet. Get a few up there. Cool. And look, how much money. How much money would you have to have? We put a. We put an egg on your chair, and you have to sit down on it and crack it. $10,000. Wait a minute. To sit on an egg? Yes. I'll do it. There's some guy out there who just almost wrecked his car. They're finally gonna do it. Christie's gonna sit on an egg. Hey, I've been waiting for. You know, I've been looking the world over for fellow O. I found it. She's A, gotta be naked. B, the egg has to crack. Then I need photos. You didn't say I had to be naked. Chickpeicks and her feet way up in the air. Now, Willie, it's my. Understand. We were talking about the John Ham, who is a very fine actor, of course, from Mad Men, among other things. And he's in a new sort of radio play slash podcast. Yeah. Are you. You're reading it or listening to it right now? Yeah, I listened to it on the way up to the first show with Josh. You know, kind of just to get my head, not be nervous, listen to something. It's great. I can't believe I love it so much because, like, radio play is not a thing for guys. My generation really. But it's. And it's the true. It's a true story about a guy named Tony Kiritsis taking somebody hostage. It's a dramatic retelling. It's very dramatic, and it takes itself very seriously. Well, it should. The guy had a shotgun wired to somebody's head. The mortgage broker wasn't it. And it was all in real time. So that was one of the first real time. Watching it on TV dramas. Christie's right there. That was kind of like the OJ Thing. Yeah. But earlier. Right. Was it being followed nationally? Yes. Yeah. Because it was live on tv. I mean, it was crazy. He had literally had a shotgun wired to the guy's head in case. So he fell over. Yikes. And I know. Or I read it, or maybe I dreamed it, but network executives and television people who. Who can control this, they were worried about what might happen on real live television. So they started to. I mean, we would have gotten there anyway with the delay system, but they said, we need to. We need to ramp this up a little bit. Because they called it the ruby button. Yeah. I was like, yeah. All right. Well, there was a horse got out of the barn once. Let's not. Yeah. Yeah. What you're listening to right now may have happened several seconds ago because we have a digital delay circuit, or in Tom's World, late 1967. So when. When Chick casually throws out the F word, as he did not too long ago, we're able to hit that, didn't I? Yes. Very conversational. The button over here is labeled dump. It's the so called dump. If you didn't hear me do that, go on Bob and Tom, social media and see that video. It's. It's stunning. I have no idea saying it. No. I'm completely oblivious to the. You had just returned from your bow. Yeah. It was your first day. Yes, I did. Yeah. My Covid. Perhaps we could find the audio later and share. Very funny, Chick. I was home that day getting ready for the call in, and I was watching, watching. I laughed for 10 minutes through the whole break. I texted you. I texted My dad. I texted Dean. It was just me hanging out, talking with buddies. Yeah, I was waiting for the wings to be delivered. Well, we'll. We'll revisit that momentarily. In any event, Josh, what was the name of the book you're reading? Killers of the Flower Moon. Okay. Good stuff. And this is the famous Chick McGee. This is your first. This was your first day back. Back after Covet. And we. We obviously had to go back and put a beep on it, but you'll see. What. Sure. Hard to believe Guy wrote that. Wrote me and Julio down by the school area. Whatever. The. Remember the days. The old school yard Chick is upset because he thinks he got the title of the song right, which he did. Yeah. Yeah. And I thought that was Josh saying. I didn't say it. I. Right. It was. Okay, now I had to hit it again. That would have been. That was just a stumble. Yes. That's the old. I missed. That's the old. The old story of the guys touring the factory. So how'd you lose your finger? Well, I went like this with the lathe. Oh, there goes the other one. No, I was trying to say I thought Josh said. Oh, no. Oh. But I guess it was me. Yeah. I had no idea. I had no idea. So you were complaining about which song? Me and Julio down by the Schoolyard Cat Steven song. Do you remember the days of the old school Yard, which is a horrible song, but he wrote so many great songs. Yeah. Climb on that piece. Not only did you get the song wrong in. In your little a piece here, but you. You cursed. Let's. Let's do it one more time. Hard to believe Guy wrote that. Wrote me and Julio down by the schoolyard or whatever. Remember the days. The old school. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. So. So, yeah. The correction isn't. Isn't it? I'm sorry that I just. That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on itunes. Google Play and Stitcher for Bob and Tom. Extra. This is Christopher. Take care, everybody. Are you ready for football? Let's go. Truly ready for football. Yes. Are you screaming for football? What the hell is happening? Dreaming for football. Good times. Eating, sleeping, crafting, parenting, naming your pets and preparing for football. That sort of stuff happened. Oh, my goodness. Are you dancing? Jonesing, Mahomes Ing for football? That's what I'm looking forward to seeing. Good. Then you are ready for football with the Rich Eisen show podcast. Get ready, follow and listen on your favorite platform.