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Bob
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Tom
What's up?
Bob
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Tom
Cocktails. Nice. My last name is Ball. The product is a cocktail in a ball. I get it.
Bob
That's what I thought too.
Tom
But no, they want you for your hands.
Bob
They think your big hands will show off the size of their new blue biggies. Ball.
Tom
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Bob
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Christopher
Buzzballs LLC, Carrollton, Texas welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom extra. This is Christopher. Not only is the Bob and Tom show live every weekday morning, but every afternoon we'll give you a little extra. In case you missed anything on today's big show, Pedicures. Christy is pissed and down at the porn shop. It's coming up right after this.
Christy Lee
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Billy Mazing
5.
Josh
Hi fellas. That's right, guys. I'm talking directly to you. Billy Mazing here again with more of my amazing Valentine's Day gift ideas. Your gal has big expectations for an expensive Valentine's night out on the town. Right? Well, here to solve that problem and save you big money at the same time. Wow. With my revolutionary Billy Mazing simulated chocolate box. My handcrafted heart shaped box of chocolates and the goodies inside look and taste just like world class Swiss chocolates. But they're actually military issue high potency uber laxatives. Just like the kind they use At Gitmo, we call it the Mazing Hershey Blaster Pack. Just think, fellas, you can make all sorts of plans for a spectacular and costly E, a lobster dinner, a Broadway show, a private concert from Michael Buble, and guess what? You won't have to deliver on any of it, because she'll be locked in the bathroom about to launch. She'll be grateful to you for planning such a magical evening. And then you get to ditch her and go to your pal's house. Order now the Billy Mazie simulated chocolate box Hershey blaster pack. Just $59.95. And tell her, don't wear white. I'm Billy Ma.
Billy Mazing
We're just waiting for the cast to.
Christopher
Actually show up for work. Here's more Bob and Tom Extra.
Bob
I've got a technical question for you ladies. Kristi Lee, in a matter of moments, this is a topic you have brought up before.
Kristi Lee
Okay.
Bob
But I need a little bit of clarity on it. Yes, but I want to wait for Ms. Hooker to get here. And she is doing something that she always does for us, which is make delicious food. And she has created, apparently, some diploma in honor of the Super Bowl. We get to try. So I certainly am looking forward to that.
Tom
Tom, I just learned something. A disparity between men and women in a way that I was told yesterday.
Ace
Oh, brain size.
Tom
And I wanted to. Yes. My guys have to be way smaller.
Ace
Yeah.
Tom
Christy, did you know that if you and I went to go get a pedicure today, they would charge me a little more than you?
Kristi Lee
I did not know.
Tom
I was told that they charge more for men.
Kristi Lee
Why?
Tom
Because they assumption to do.
Kristi Lee
Yes.
Tom
The assumption is that it's more because we don't get them done as often. Yeah, they're probably a little more. They're probably more unpleasant.
Kristi Lee
Yeah.
Bob
Really?
Kristi Lee
I could see that.
Ace
Oh, it's almost hazard pay.
Bob
Now, let me ask you. This is a haircut, obviously, for women. It's way more expensive. And every day, I'll say to Kelly, oh, you got a haircut today. And she looks at me like, I know that the word haircut is not used. It's. My mom would always. I got my hair done. But they do. They do more than just I say.
Kristi Lee
I got my hair cut.
Bob
You do?
Tom
Okay.
Ace
I think Beyonce queen bee says, I got my hair. Did I believe.
Kristi Lee
Yeah, well, she got a blowout. What do you. I mean, what did she.
Bob
Yeah, that's. But, I mean, there's lots of different things that a lady. The ladies do. But, I mean, there's not the. The disparity price. Oh.
Tom
Is not complaining a lot because women obviously have to spend a ton more money on stuff like that than guys do. But maybe it's like back in the day when a woman went to go buy a car, they can, you know, take advantage of them.
Kristi Lee
And if we're going to talk about this subject. That's interesting, though, there are some companies that to this day will not come out and give you an estimate if your husband isn't home. And I would like to say this.
Bob
I would.
Kristi Lee
That is bull, Christy.
Bob
That's insane.
Kristi Lee
And I've had this happen three times in the last two weeks.
Bob
Why is it. And I'm like, was it because they don't want to have to explain it to you three times?
Kristi Lee
Oh, Tom. It's the most sexist, antiquated joke.
Bob
Horrible.
Tom
That is. I can't.
Kristi Lee
I can't believe they do it, Christy.
Tom
I can't believe that. I would almost guarantee that's not company policy.
Kristi Lee
It is. I've asked. And I said to the lady the other day, I go, I am beyond pissed right now because I can make decisions on my own.
Tom
And did she go, this is why we want to talk to the men.
Billy Mazing
Yes. Women just go. Their tempers.
Tom
Yeah, boy. They're always just so.
Kristi Lee
No, it's. I am not. I could say names right now.
Tom
What if you're a single woman?
Kristi Lee
If you're a single. Well, they ask you that, you're not.
Tom
Allowed to get the service done.
Kristi Lee
Who's on the deed to your home? That's what she asked me.
Tom
Well, that might. They may need to know that.
Bob
Why Jump First national bank business.
Tom
Women really shouldn't be owning homes.
Kristi Lee
Oh, my God.
Bob
Okay, now we're in trouble.
Billy Mazing
Not putting your names on things.
Kristi Lee
Oh, I was so mad. Still mad.
Bob
Okay, now, we had an interesting topic I want to return to in just a few minutes.
Ace
What happened to our fun show?
Bob
Oh, sorry. I'm sorry.
Ace
What happened?
Bob
We were talking about the. The AVN Awards. This is the adult video news. So this is. This is the. The Organized Pornography Awards. Adult cinema, if you will.
Tom
Sure, sure, sure.
Bob
And do they still call it adult. It's adult video, I guess, because it's digital and branding.
Tom
Yeah. They're not going to change.
Bob
Do they do. I mean, I'm. I've never watched them or whatever. Do they do, like, classic, like, do they go, you know, do they have, like, the Thalberg Award for the. The finest career?
Tom
They do, yes. Yeah. I wonder who won this year. But they do. Yeah.
Bob
Oh, really?
Tom
Yeah. There's a hall of fame.
Bob
There's a porno hall of fame.
Tom
I don't know if there's a brick and mortar place that you can go, but there is a sense. An avian hall of fame. Yeah.
Bob
Oh, wow.
Tom
Gotta have Vanessa Del Rio in there. She's probably. She was probably a first ballot.
Kristi Lee
Favorites.
Tom
Yeah.
Bob
I bet it's a lot more expensive to go. If you want to go in the back door at the.
Ace
There are. There are hundreds of people in the AVN hall of Fame.
Tom
Nina Hartley in there. She must be.
Ace
Well, let's see. I'm sure it is.
Tom
Nina Hartley actually does good work for couples.
Ace
Nina Hartley is in.
Tom
Wow.
Bob
So we'll have to wait for Ms. Hooker before we can.
Ace
Holy heck. There are.
Bob
You have a song Pat, you'll give me the look.
Billy Mazing
Oh, no. I was Josh's porn.
Bob
Not.
Billy Mazing
Not addiction. But I used to be your love for. Yeah, it's in the past, so you.
Tom
Get for the most.
Bob
But. And I was asking you if. If Let me. I guess this might be the proper word. Is the. The erotic cinema of that era a better trigger for you than contemporary erotica? If you.
Tom
I will always have an affinity for the stars. The porn stars that I watched during my formative years.
Kristi Lee
There you go.
Bob
And. And you mentioned that. I've always wondered. I know that I. Maybe some psychiatrist out there has experienced this in which one of their clients or patients has to have their porno from a certain era and it has to be on a vcr.
Tom
Sure.
Bob
And you were saying that a certain sound you associated with.
Tom
Oh, I. I'll. Oh, boy. Oh, yeah.
Bob
Okay, here we go. Get buttered up.
Ace
Get buttered up.
Bob
I am glad it's. It's a coming. Butter it up. The sound. The sound of the modem. That was the era when you discovered online porno. You had to.
Tom
Well, that's what it was. Yeah. Yeah, that's. It was new and I was of the age.
Bob
When did the DVDs of porn get phased out?
Ace
And I think they followed pretty much the. Yeah. The trend.
Tom
Yeah.
Ace
Of streaming and anything got earlier to any type of any genre got earlier than any other.
Bob
Will that go away now that half the states in America have restrictions on.
Kristi Lee
On the age.
Bob
Yeah, they have. I forget how it works. I know. I.
Kristi Lee
You have to prove you're over 18.
Tom
You always had to. At the physical. Physical stores.
Bob
Oh, you do?
Tom
Yeah.
Ace
Yeah.
Tom
14 year old couldn't go in and rent a porn.
Bob
And what was the name of the store you used to go To Spankies.
Tom
Was one of them. And award video was the.
Ace
Now Spankies had like mainstream movies as well, right?
Tom
Or no, these were both exclusively porn. Yeah.
Ace
Ah, I did not know that.
Bob
Now, if you go to those used CD and DVD stores, do they typically have a erotic section, if you will?
Tom
Oh, I. I have seen some where they do, yeah. Yeah. Even stores like remember Fry's, There were only a few around the country, but they would have an adult section. I never told you guys this story, I don't think, but I know. And Pat, this, this could lead into your song. Is one night I was at before the open mic at the St. Louis Funny Bone. The porn Spanky's was pretty close to the funny bone. And so I went there first and I was renting some movies and there were two guys behind the counter and they were having a conversation and the one guy goes, yeah, I'm outta here in about an hour. And the guy goes, oh, what are you up to tonight? And he goes, me and my girlfriend are going to the St. Louis funny bone to watch some comedy. And I go, I'll see you there. Cause I was on stage.
Bob
Hey, I know that guy.
Tom
Yeah, it was kind of a bummer.
Kristi Lee
Did you feel uncomfort knowing he was in the audience?
Tom
No, I just went, whatever.
Bob
Okay, now, Pat, you got your guitar out.
Billy Mazing
Yeah, that was a long time ago.
Tom
That was.
Billy Mazing
That was back in 97, way before Josh. Good stream. You'd have to go to Spanky's for a dirty tape old magazine down there the pawn shop and he daft to drive oh ye To a nasty rundown building off I65.
Tom
Down at the pawn.
Billy Mazing
Shop the creepy clerk he smiles down at the porn shop where's the big booty aisle? Down at the porn shop his mom has many concerns when she makes his returns down at the porn shop Porn shop here Looking around the place Josh can't believe his eyes Videos of butts and boobies every color, every size down at the pawn shop Whipped back in sooth oh where he took his pencil in the video Boop.
Tom
We had guests over down at the.
Billy Mazing
Porn shop it ain't so discreet down at the porn shop your butcher's beating the meat down at the corn shop Josh won't leave the house down at the porn shop doesn't need a hooker spouse down at the porn shop Porn shop.
Tom
What happens now? I just go. There are so many other things I could be I want to do as opposed to just.
Bob
Yeah.
Kristi Lee
Desire wanes as we get older, Josh.
Tom
Yeah, and I think you go, oh no, my time is limited on this earth. I'm gonna try to get some things done.
Bob
Now I know that we have the Academy Awards coming up and this pornography award show, the AVNs, are they getting up there and thanking their parents?
Tom
They do. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah.
Kristi Lee
Yes.
Tom
Yeah.
Ace
It's an industry, Tom.
Tom
It is. And it's not as taboo as you.
Bob
It has to be fairly awesome as.
Kristi Lee
You make it to be.
Ace
It's a multiple billion dollar business.
Bob
Yeah. The award ceremony, I'm just saying, a guy up there in a tux going, I just want to thank everybody who helped me out with all hands on Dick, our tribute to pt 69. And fellas, thank you very much. I mean, come on, that is embarrassing.
Tom
But it's only embarrassing to you. It's not to them.
Bob
Do they have it?
Tom
I watch it because of the, the categories I find very humorous. See, this is one of the cases where Ace actually is more schooled in the awards themselves because you've seen multiple. Yeah.
Bob
So do they do the pre show? Do they have like them walking on the pink carpet? They've got. Who's the guy who's always on the red carpet? That'd be.
Tom
You don't have Melissa Rivers.
Bob
Yeah, Melissa Rivers on the pink carpet.
Tom
That's what they say. Who are you wearing? Yeah. Also it is very much like, well.
Bob
I guess at that thing, who aren't.
Ace
You wearing or who are you almost wearing?
Bob
Yes. Yeah, yeah. Well, coming up, I have a question that kind of revolves around this, but we'll get back to that in a few minutes. We go back to the SILAC insurance news desk with Christy Lee.
Kristi Lee
Who knew. But apparently well endowed men struggle with self esteem issues. Some say that most dream of having a large male member. Guys. But if you're in the group of the very well endowed, having a large penis can be more of a curse. Some well endowed men have shared their penis related relationship woes onto Reddit with users often offering their antidotes. Like three relationships I have had ended due, at least in part because my male member was too long.
Tom
That is a shame.
Kristi Lee
And saddest was when the woman I married said she enjoyed sex. Then about two months into the marriage admitted I was way too big and sex constantly hurt her.
Tom
That's all.
Kristi Lee
That's horrible.
Tom
You want to be sexually compatible, right?
Kristi Lee
Other cited self esteem issues, saying women are just shallow as men and will talk to your penis without bothering to make eye contact.
Bob
What?
Kristi Lee
Yeah, I don't believe that. I don't understand and that they felt objectified by potential partners.
Tom
That's really interesting that guys. That guys have. That they feel that way.
Bob
Like, the only downside I've always found was skinny dipping.
Tom
Oh, that's what gets it. Yeah, yeah.
Kristi Lee
You know, like a rudder.
Tom
Or is it more of an anchor.
Bob
Mistaken for an eel.
Tom
In fact, some of those blurry nessie photos are actually Tom.
Bob
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kristi Lee
Other issues included needing to buy a larger pant size for the lower inseam.
Bob
And then stretching out the top of your sock.
Tom
Oh, that's a shame.
Kristi Lee
And hot days being a problem. Oh, yeah.
Tom
Boy, these hot days sure are.
Billy Mazing
Get the night sweats.
Bob
I wonder if there's a judge out there who. Back in the day when divorces had to be contested, some woman came in and said, your honor, I have to leave him because his male member is too large. That'll be when you go home and tell the wife. You're not gonna believe what happened today. This lady walked in.
Tom
My dad said while he was in the army, the drill sergeant was going around checking everybody's uniforms, making sure they were all up to snuff and everything. And you could see one guy's bulge. He was so well endowed. And the drill sergeant for minutes just berated him for having too big of a piece.
Kristi Lee
Like he could control that.
Tom
Right, right. What are you supposed to do?
Bob
That's how John Holmes was discovered in the army. Yeah.
Tom
Wow.
Bob
Yeah, I remember reading that. There's an interesting book about it. He's the guy they based whatchamacallit.
Tom
Diggler.
Bob
Yeah, yeah. Dirk Diggler. Now that you're back here, before we get to the appetizer here, I have a technical question for you.
Pat
Okay.
Bob
And this may reflect more on me than on you guys. We were looking at the photographs of Ms. Cox.
Kristi Lee
Yes.
Bob
What was her name again?
Kristi Lee
Kendra Cox.
Bob
Kendra Cox.
Kristi Lee
Both with K's.
Bob
And both chick and I went, those boobs are fake.
Kristi Lee
They're real.
Bob
You insist that they're real.
Pat
Yeah.
Bob
Now, neither of you ladies are. Would be considered flat chested. However, I know you know women who might be right do flat chested women. The analogy would be two bald guys. Like where I always go, that's a toupee. Do flat chested women always go, those boobs are fake? In other words, do they develop a. I don't know.
Kristi Lee
I don't know. I guess I don't.
Pat
Yeah, I don't. I don't care. It's only when you guys say it that I'm going to call you out and go no, you're wrong.
Tom
That's a fair question. But I don't think women.
Pat
No.
Tom
I think women are way better at knowing if they're real or fake. Yeah.
Kristi Lee
And I think women who are flat chested, if they wanted them, they would get them and they don't care.
Tom
Yeah. Yeah. They're not as. Yeah.
Bob
But yeah. For example, I watched the commercial for the super on the super bowl with Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan.
Pat
Yes.
Bob
Which is. And it's really well done. I'm not gonna spoil it. I thought it was great. I'm a fan. But Meg looks great. But I did. I thought that the toupee that Mr. Crystal was wearing was really obvious because.
Pat
You lack hair the first that your eye is drawn to.
Bob
Exactly. That's my question.
Tom
What you're not taking into an account is not all bald guys care are that worried about it. They're not. They're not as well. I saw a still of Billy Crystal from that commercial. I would never have guessed.
Pat
I wouldn't have either.
Kristi Lee
I didn't either.
Bob
I thought at first it was a dead muskrat on his head.
Pat
But. But you know what? Whenever, when. I will always appreciate a beautiful chest if I'm just like, man, that's you. Good job. Those are great knockers and hammers.
Tom
Yeah.
Pat
But I mean, I guess.
Tom
But yeah.
Pat
I'm always.
Bob
But I know.
Pat
But I don't. But I don't want them.
Bob
And you ladies are both perfectly acceptable in that realm. You don't have to help me get out of this chair.
Ace
Uncomfortable moment that I'm enjoying now.
Bob
Coming up, we have this. This is leading to this other story we have and I, I had never heard of this.
Kristi Lee
Just give me the BBL Vampire breast lift.
Bob
There is a new thing out there, I guess the vampire breast lift and it's approved by whatever the FDA and it's.
Kristi Lee
It's a natural way to enhance your own.
Bob
Enhance boobs. And it's not like an exercise or fake thing on the Internet.
Tom
One huge boob.
Bob
So we'll find out. We'll find out what that is all about.
Tom
You can just not care for it. You don't have to comment.
Bob
But it's going to be.
Christopher
That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on itunes, Google Play and stitcher for Bob and Tom. Extra. This is Christopher. Take care everybody.
Christy Lee
Michael Rosenbaum and his Small Bill co stars take you behind the scenes of one of the greatest shows of all time.
Bob
We're gonna watch every episode.
Christy Lee
Join us. It's big talk you remember when I.
Bob
Had to shave my head?
Kristi Lee
Oh, I think I was angry with.
Tom
This one on Smallville.
Bob
Yeah. I mean, I get it.
Tom
The scene you did. And this is the one that got me fired.
Kristi Lee
Okay.
Tom
What we go.
Bob
I love the excursions with me and welling. It's everything that Superman stands for.
Christy Lee
It's talk ville talk bill.
Bob
We always talk about it. It's a great thing.
Christy Lee
The Smallville rewatch podcast. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.
Episode: B&T Extra: Pedicures, Kristi is Pissed, & Down at the Porn Shop
Release Date: March 31, 2025
Hosts: Bob, Tom, Ace, Kristi Lee, and Billy Mazing
Network: Cumulus Podcast Network
Christopher kicks off the episode by introducing "B&T Extra," a segment that provides additional content beyond the main show. He teases the topics for the day: pedicures, Kristi's frustrations, and adventures "Down at the Porn Shop."
The episode delves into the humorous yet frustrating topic of gender-based pricing differences in pedicures.
Tom initiates the conversation, mentioning he learned that pedicures for men are more expensive than for women:
"If you and I went to go get a pedicure today, they would charge me a little more than you."
[04:16]
Kristi Lee expresses surprise and frustration:
"I am beyond pissed right now because I can make decisions on my own."
[05:57]
Discussion Points:
The hosts transition to discussing the AVN (Adult Video News) Awards, akin to the Oscars for the adult film industry.
Bob muses about the nature of the awards:
"Do they have a porno hall of fame?"
[07:32]
Ace provides insights, confirming the existence of a comprehensive AVN Hall of Fame:
"There are hundreds of people in the AVN hall of Fame."
[08:27]
Tom shares nostalgic memories related to adult video stores and recounts a story about encountering a familiar face at a comedy club:
"One night I was before the open mic at the St. Louis Funny Bone... I knew that guy."
[10:37]
Humorous Elements: The hosts joke about the awkwardness of discussing adult entertainment in a public forum and the parallels between the AVN and mainstream award shows.
Billy Mazing performs a comedic song titled "Down at the Porn Shop," satirizing experiences and stereotypes associated with adult video stores.
Lyrics Highlights:
"Down at the porn shop, Porn shop here, Looking around the place Josh can't believe his eyes Videos of butts and boobies every color, every size down at the pawn shop."
[12:26] - [13:15]
Audience Reception: The song is met with laughter and adds a lighthearted tone to the episode, reinforcing the show's signature blend of humor and candid discussions.
Kristi Lee introduces a segment discussing the unexpected self-esteem issues that can arise for men with larger penises.
Kristi Lee references Reddit posts where men share relationship struggles due to penis size:
"Three relationships I have had ended due, at least in part because my male member was too long."
[15:23]
Tom empathetically comments:
"That is a shame."
[15:50]
Discussion Points:
Humorous Takes: The hosts incorporate jokes to lighten the discussion, such as misconceptions during military inspections and fictional court cases.
A technical discussion ensues about the authenticity of women's breast enhancements.
Bob poses a question regarding whether flat-chested women opt for fake breasts:
"Do flat chested women always go, those boobs are fake?"
[18:17]
Kristi Lee and Pat respond, expressing skepticism:
"I don't think so."
[18:39]
Tom concurs, emphasizing women's autonomy and honesty about their bodies:
"I think women are way better at knowing if they're real or fake."
[18:48]
Further Discussion:
In a surprising twist, Bob introduces a new, unconventional cosmetic procedure:
"There is a new thing out there, I guess the vampire breast lift and it's approved by whatever the FDA and it's a natural way to enhance your own boobs."
[20:12]
Christopher wraps up the "B&T Extra" segment by promoting the "Smallville Rewatch Podcast," featuring Michael Rosenbaum and co-stars. The mention links back to Kristi Lee's past work, fostering a sense of community and continuity among the show's various projects.
Tom on Pedicure Pricing:
"If you and I went to go get a pedicure today, they would charge me a little more than you."
[04:16]
Kristi Lee on Business Policies:
"I am beyond pissed right now because I can make decisions on my own."
[05:57]
Bob on AVN Awards Credentials:
"Do they have a porno hall of fame?"
[07:32]
Kristi Lee on Penis Size Issues:
"Three relationships I have had ended due, at least in part because my male member was too long."
[15:23]
Bob Introducing Vampire Breast Lift:
"There is a new thing out there, I guess the vampire breast lift and it's approved by whatever the FDA and it's a natural way to enhance your own boobs."
[20:12]
This episode of "B&T Extra" masterfully intertwines humor with candid discussions on sensitive topics such as gender disparities in service pricing, the adult entertainment industry's nuances, and personal body image challenges. Through engaging banter, personal anecdotes, and relatable satire, the hosts provide an entertaining yet thought-provoking experience for listeners.
Whether you're tuning in for the laughs or the insightful conversations, this episode delivers a well-rounded mix that reflects the signature style of The BOB & TOM Show.