The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast

Episode: B&T Extra – Shoplifting Brisket, a Pork Assault, & Ketchup Packets

Date: February 20, 2026
Hosts: Bob, Tom, and the B&T Crew
Guest: Sean Mori (comedian)

Episode Overview

This B&T Extra dives into the weird and hilarious world of recent food-related crime stories and mishaps, including a brisket shoplifted down a suspect’s pants, a mother-daughter pork chop assault, and the saga of a weaponized ketchup packet. The crew, with their signature comedic banter, riff on the news, share personal stories, and escalate every headline into a running gag, all capped by a performance from comedian Sean Mori.

Key Discussion Points & Notable Moments

1. Brisket Shoplifting at Kosher Kingdom

[04:15 - 05:14]

• Story: In Florida, security footage catches a man at Kosher Kingdom stuffing a massive brisket down his pants and fleeing. The pursuit ends when he abandons the meat.
• Jokes:
  • "If you want pork, you have to kind of walk into a special room. Like a beaded closet." – Tom ([04:39])
  • Running gag about sneaking forbidden foods into the kosher store.

2. Assault by Pork Chop

[05:12 - 07:23]

• Story: In Jensen Beach, Florida, an 18-year-old woman attacks her mother during an argument by smacking her with a pork chop, leaving food residue and leading to domestic battery charges.
• Banter Highlights:
  • "Take that, you!" – Tom, in mock dramatization ([05:34])
  • "That ain't kosher." – Repeated when describing the pork chop as a weapon ([05:56])
  • Debate on the difference between "assault" and "assault and battery," with puns about dish preparation:
    • "They just charged with assault, not a salt and battery. Because it wasn't breaded." – Bob ([06:23])
  • Arguments about how to bread a pork chop:
    • "You have to dip it in the batter, then you put it in the breadcrumbs. If you cooked, you would have gotten that joke." – Tom ([06:36])

3. On Childhood Meals & Meat Morality

[07:11 - 09:15]

• Reminiscences about always serving applesauce with pork chops and never having lamb chops as children.
• Anecdote: Eating lamb chops at a sister’s house and seeing the source ("look out, and there's this meadow and a sheep" – Tom, [08:02]), sparking a debate on which animals are harder to eat based on their looks.
• "They look too much like dogs. They're ugly and weird. So they're okay to eat." – Tom on lobsters ([08:29])
• "I would call them meet cute." – Tom, joking about animal edibility ([08:40])
• Discussion on lobster tanks in stores and a mention of a lobster fisherman returning them to the ocean.

4. Ketchup Packet Battery

[11:33 - 13:52]

• Story: Florida man at a bus terminal, upon being awakened, throws an opened ketchup packet at the person rousing him. The "victim suffered two spots of ketchup" and the suspect is charged with battery.
• Laugh-out-Loud Moments:
  • "Suffered two spots of ketchup." – Tom ([12:01])
  • "You can't carry ketchup anymore." – Crew, mocking the seriousness of the charge ([12:10])
  • "Ketchup packet battery sounds like some kind of weird science experiment..." – Tom ([13:54])
  • Punny charge recommendations: "How about charges of salt and pepper?" ([13:54])

5. Traumatic Toilet Paper Dispenser

[14:22 - 16:08]

• Story: A woman sues a Racetrack convenience store after a metal toilet paper dispenser swings open and injures her ankle, seeking $50,000.
• Personal Tangent: Tom shares a recent kitchen injury involving a drawer, leading to a long discussion about the struggles of treating small injuries as you age.
  • "I had to go to CVS and buy a whole array of bandages." – Tom ([16:22])
  • "Bled all weekend long." – Tom on his dramatic wound ([17:16])

6. Gas Station Food & Roller Dogs

[18:16 - 19:03]

• Debate about the safety and freshness of roller hot dogs at convenience stores. Wawa emerges as the crew’s most trusted purveyor.
• "I have never had one. Depends on the Texas guy." – Don on roller hot dogs ([18:27])
• "[Wawa] was like Nordstrom's level. Now the food there, the turnover is awesome." – Tom ([18:33])

7. Comedian Sean Mori: Clean Cussing and T-Shirt Slogans

[19:04 - 22:45]

• Sean takes the mic for a comedic set on euphemisms ("friggin," "for crepe's sake"), absurd T-shirt slogans, and generational changes in display profanity.
  • "Make a stand. Say the F word or say golly gosh darn. What does friggin mean anyway?" – Sean ([19:20])
  • Jokes about "Jesus Crepes, the son of Gosh, of the church of Holy Moly." ([19:34]–[19:38])
  • Story about grandma’s reaction to a "Eat Me Raw" T-shirt:
    • "She said, ‘Oh, screw him.’ Wasn't screw either, was it?" – Sean ([21:18])

Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• On Shoplifting Brisket:

  • "It shows the man pulling a massive brisket from a cooler and stuffing it down his pants." – Tom ([04:34])
  • "If you want pork, you have to kind of walk into a special room. Like a beaded closet." – Tom ([04:39])

• On Pork Chop Assault:

  • "She and her 18-year-old daughter had gotten into a verbal dispute. During the argument, the teen allegedly smacked her mom in the face and threw a pork chop." – Bob ([05:24])
  • "That ain't kosher." – Tom ([05:56])
  • "They just charged with assault, not a salt and battery. Because it wasn't breaded." – Bob ([06:23])

• On Ketchup Packet Attack:

  • "The victim suffered two spots of ketchup on his jacket." – Bob ([11:59])
  • "You can't carry ketchup anymore." – Tom ([12:10])
  • "Ketchup packet battery sounds like some kind of weird science experiment..." – Tom ([13:54])

• On Gas Station Food:

  • "You eat those roller hot dogs? ... I have never had one. Depends on the Texas guy." – Don ([18:27])
  • "That place [Wawa] was amazing. Oh, yeah, yeah, they're great. It was like Nordstrom's level." – Tom ([18:33])

• Sean Mori’s Stand-Up Highlights:

  • "Make a stand. Say the F word or say golly gosh darn. What does friggin mean anyway? I'm almost mad enough to cuss. Don't push me, I'll say friggin." – Sean ([19:20])
  • "Jesus Crepes the son of Gosh. Of the church of holy moly." – Sean ([19:38])
  • "She said, 'Oh, screw him.' Wasn't screw either, was it? Frig. No, she made a stand." – Sean ([21:18])

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |-------------------------------|-------------| | Brisket shoplifting story | 04:15–05:14 | | Pork chop assault story | 05:12–07:23 | | Meat, childhood meals, lobster | 07:11–09:15 | | Ketchup packet "battery" | 11:33–13:52 | | Toilet paper dispenser lawsuit | 14:22–16:08 | | Gas station roller hot dogs | 18:16–19:03 | | Sean Mori's stand-up | 19:04–22:45 |

Episode Tone & Style

Irreverent, rapid fire, often veering off-topic for comic effect. The hosts make running jokes, puns, and escalate the absurdity of even minor news stories, all while riffing on each other's quirks and old-school vs. new-school sensibilities.

For New Listeners

This episode epitomizes the show's blend of offbeat news and comedy. The hosts elevate minor misdemeanors into elaborate bits, punctuated by ongoing food debates and topped off by a lively guest comic. If you like goofy riffs on real news, dad-joke one-liners, and the camaraderie of a morning crew, this episode delivers.