
Loading summary
A
5:00am I'm up with a crisp Celsius energy drink running 12 miles today. Grab a green juice, quick change and head to work. Meetings, workshops. One more Celsius. No slowing down. Working late, but obviously still meeting the girls for a little dancing. Celsius Live Fit. Go grab a cold, refreshing Celsius at your local retailer or locate now@celsius.com welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom extra. This is Christopher. Not only is the Bob and Tom show live every every weekday morning, but every afternoon. We'll give you a little extra in case you missed anything on the big show today. Shoplifting, brisket, a pork assault and ketchup packets. You'll hear that coming up next. Going online without Express VPN is like printing your Social Security number on your business card. You're just putting way too much personal information out into the world. Why would you take that risk?
B
Every time you connect to an unencrypted network in cafes, hotels, airports, et cetera, your online data is not secure. Any hacker on the same network can gain access to and steal your personal data like passwords, bank logins, credit card details, and more.
A
You know, it doesn't take much technical knowledge to hack someone. Any hacker on the same network can gain access to and steal your personal data. This is why you need Express VPN. Your data is valuable. Hackers can make up to $1,000 per person selling personal information on the dark web. ExpressVPN stops hackers from stealing your data by creating a secure, encrypted tunnel between your device and the Internet.
B
One of our staff members signed up for ExpressVPN because they had an identity theft scare. When they were shopping online, their kids were accessing the Internet and they wanted to be cautious about their privacy.
A
ExpressVPN plans start at just $3.49 a month. That's only 12 cents a day. It would take a hacker with a supercomputer over a billion years to get past ExpressVPN's encryption. And ExpressVPN works on all devices, phones, laptops, tablets, and more, so you can stay secure on the go. Secure your online data today by visiting expressvpn.com bobandtom that's E X P-R-E-S-S V P N.com bobandtom to find out how you can get up to four extra months, once again, it's expressvpn.com Bobandom Rocks. From the people who brought you Cowbell's greatest hits, Bob and Tom Records presents the greatest Oohs, ahs and ohs in the history of rock and roll. You'll get Jo. You'll get Cat Stevens in Wild World. You'll get Paul McCartney. It's the Eagles. It's the greatest oohs, ahs and ohs in the history of rock and roll. It's the Steve Miller Band. Peter Frampton Oohs, ahs and O's. And the Ozark Mountain Daredevils. The greatest oohs, ahs and O's in history of rock and roll. Including whoever the hell this is. It's the greatest oohs, ohs and o in the history of rock and roll. Act now with Indianapolis Colts announcer Ted Marchabrota with the greatest oohs, o and O's in the history of play by Play. Now we this extra special treatment. Ted Marchabrota along with the Steve Miller Band. Also a special appearance by Floyd the Barber from the Andy Griffith Show. Oh, yeah. Now we get the original from the chick from the lace bottom. Tom. It's the greatest ooh, o and O's in the history of rock and roll. Only from Bob and Tom. The Bob and Tom show is still trying to wake up. In the meantime, more Bob and Tom. Extra. You asked about this story. It was in Florida. A shoplifter, an accused shoplifter. There's security footage, according to wplg, captured at a place called Kosher Kingdom in Florida. And it shows the man. It shows the man pulling a massive brisket from a cooler and stuffing it down his pants. Man.
B
Yeah.
A
The owner, Phil Einhorn, chased the man and called police. They were able to recover the stolen merchandise and the suspect abandoned it as he fled. Kind of humorous. Yes. But the place is called Kosher Kingdom and I was looking it over. It's kind of like one of those video stores back in the day. Yeah. If you want pork, you have to kind of walk into a special room. Like a beaded. Like a beaded closet. That is very good. That is very good. What's the name of it? What's the name of it? It's called Kosher Kingdom. That's excellent. But I this. I'm reading this story again because we have a story involving pork.
B
Yep.
A
An assault with pork.
B
A young woman in Florida behind bars after allegedly attacking her mother with a pork chop. Court documents state that the police were called to a home in Jensen Beach.
A
Mother, please.
B
Where the 46 year old victim said she and her 18 year old daughter had gotten into a verbal dispute. During the argument, the teen allegedly smacked her mom in the face and threw a pork chop.
A
Take that, you. It's some of the actual audio.
B
I bet you're right.
A
That's weird.
B
Police said they observed food residue on the victim's left shoulder, which was consistent with her statement. The 18 year old was charged with domestic battery.
A
The mom charged the daughter.
B
Yep.
A
Huh. Yeah. And with a. With getting hit with a perk chop. That ain't kosher.
B
No, it's not.
A
I really. The cop. You mean the cops and really we have to deal with this? Yeah. All the. All the problems in the world we got some mom and daughter having a dispute. Come on.
B
You have a pork chop song, Pat.
A
A pork chop song? No, I haven't had a good pork chop in a long time. That's not to say that I've had a bunch of bad pork chops recently. They're tough to come by.
B
I had one pretty tasty. Yes. New Year's Eve. It was amazing.
A
New Year's Eve, by the way. They just charged with assault, not a salt and battery. Because it wasn't breaded. You see, it wasn't battered. I don't. Yeah, battered is the key. What are you. Me telling a joke? You have to dip it in the batter, then you put it in the breadcrumbs. If you cooked, you would have gotten that joke. No, no, no.
B
I knew.
A
I know. You told it wrong. You cannot spin this to where I am the one that's wrong. No, I'm the one who bread it. For a breaded pork chop. You put it in the batter.
B
The batter is the breading. You start with the egg.
A
How dare you make fun of this poor woman getting the pork chop. Oh, my God. Now if you want to hurt someone with pork hot sizzling bacon in the face, that's going to get him.
B
Oh, my goodness. No.
A
If we ever had pork chops and without applesauce. My dad was disappointed.
B
Me too.
A
Are you the same? Are you guys the same way? Never. Never cared for applesauce. It was always. Always. Yeah. And then what about with lamb chops? We didn't have lamb chops growing up.
B
Neither did we.
A
What's wrong with you? What's wrong? I'm not your Chateaubriand. We need. Yeah, I. Well never have your milk. I'll never forget the night my mother said, chateaubriand for one. And I said, how dare you. He looked at me. What about your lamb chops? What'd you guys have for that? You've never had lamb chops? No, I. I have. Yes, but it wasn't a Family. It wasn't a staple growing up. We didn't have Dom for dinner either. What the God. More squib.
B
Oh, my God.
A
Squab. Squab. Squab. Well, no, we ate June. Squib. Squib. I swear to God. This is a true story. This is. I was at my sister's house. This was several years ago. Yes. And we were having a lunch of lamb chops. All right. Huh. And she says, I. Oh, yeah, these are from next door. And I look out, and there's this meadow and a sheep. Wow. Man, I bet they were great. Yeah, but it's. It just takes away a little bit of the. Yeah.
B
Was that like eating your lobster in front of the tanks at Red Lobster? Is that what you're saying?
A
I don't have a problem with lobster because they're so ugly and weird. Sheep, they look like. They're kind of. They look too much like dogs. They're ugly and weird. So they're okay to eat. Yeah. Don't you think so?
B
What about cows?
A
You know what? I do think so. I'm startled to find out how much I have in common with you anymore. Yeah. I would call them meet cute. I think you should get $10 off a lobster. If you're. If you reach in and get it and there are no rubber bands on the clock, there should be a discount. I bet they can really clamp down. I bet a finger could. You could lose it. My. The grocery store that I used to go to that is no longer in existence. They had the tank.
B
Yeah.
A
I always love that. I love the tank. Yeah. I think the tank's still out there.
B
There's a guy I follow on Instagram who's a big lobster fisherman in Maine. He saves a lot of lobsters and puts them back and tries to help the ecosystem, but.
A
Oh, good.
B
Yeah. Really cool. And he'll find and he'll, like, give. When he rescues a lobster, he'll give him a fish and then throw him back in, like, here's your dinner.
A
Everybody knows lobsters are like the honeybees of the ocean. Yes. If we lose lobsters, there will be no coral. Does he take, like, a Dremel. His initials in the clone? Do you remember the story we had a couple years ago about a surgeon, I think it was in England. You say sturgeon surgeon, and this guy was found guilty because he was putting his initials on the organ. Yeah. He would go in there for some kind of surgery and put his initials in. I'm all right with that. Me, too. Hey, doc. The surgeon that saved my life and fixed my heart. Doctor, it's an autograph. Whatever you want. You can put pictures of your kids in there as far as I'm concerned. I really appreciate your help. That would be okay with you? Absolutely. All right.
B
No.
A
Little scar tissue never hurt anybody. So you see, she threw a pork chop at her mom. Yeah. Now would you throw. She's just charged her with assault. Not assault and battery. Because it wasn't breaded. No. You see. No. That is simply not the way to tell that joke. Absolutely not. Right with me. Aren't you on the sea? You have to put the. Well, and Ace knows from comedy. Yeah, I thought that. I thought you had to. You have to dip it in the batter to get this. Yeah, but nobody calls that battery. Yeah, like, oh, you're committing or you are in the act of battery as you prepare those pork chops. No one ever says that. Admittedly, it's a play on the word batter. Certainly battered is the key. Okay. All right. It's ironic that they got into a fight with a pork chop. I guess they had a beef. Well, it's. No, he's clapping for his own. He's clapping for his own joke. Look at him. You don't see the irony there? They had a beef. If she'd hit him, she'd hit him with ground meat. It would have been okay. Don't you have a song about beef? I'm going to. Not in the next three seconds. That would be great.
B
All right, we get out of this. That lobster guy was trying to find. Okay. A man from Florida is in custody for an alleged battery involving. Not a pork chop, a ketchup packet. According to an arrest affidavit, the victim was checking on the 28 year old suspect who appeared to be passed out in a bus terminal. The suspect reportedly woke up irate and threw an opened ketchup packet at the victim. Police noted that the victim suffered two spots of ketchup on his jacket.
A
Suffered.
B
Are you kidding me?
A
Suffered two spots of ketchup.
B
The man was taken into custody on charges of battery and possession of a controlled substance. You can't carry ketchup anymore.
A
Well, by the way, I had. The judge sentenced him to 57 days of community service. I mean, look, that's better than what we have been getting. Yeah, that's better than. He also threw pudding on him. So they took him into custody. Does that work with this new line of. No, no. Why'd the guy have a ketchup squeezer? Thingy? What are those? A Packet. Now, you don't care for those, right?
B
You don't like them?
A
Oh, no. You don't like those? No.
B
Why don't you like a packet?
A
It gets all over the edges and. No, no. And the. And the packets. God knows who's handled them. That's all I have in my fridge right now is a Ziploc full of those packets. I'm not buying another bottle of ketchup until I go through those. No kidding. Sterilize them somehow, put them in your microwave and for a minute, I'll fix them, get rid of all the germs.
B
I like that you're being a planet.
A
He's trying. Yes, he' trying to blow up your microwave. He does want me to make a mess, so. I'm so sorry. So this guy. Which guy threw the ketchup? The guy that was asleep at a bus station. He must be a real winner. Could be a hard worker. He's a double shift. Yeah. Captain Success. This guy probably hasn't changed underwear in a year. You know, you haven't used Captain Success in quite a while. I kind of missed it waiting for my bus to Loserville. Could have mental issues. You know, I should. I shouldn't made those jokes. In hindsight. All right, we're making ground. We lost a little ground with custardy, and now we're custardy. Ketchup packet battery.
B
That's ridiculous.
A
How about charges of salt and pepper? I mean, does that ketchup. Wait a minute. Ketchup packet battery sounds like some kind of weird science experiment where there's some kid at the science fair takes ketchup packets and puts wires in them and it makes a little windmill spin. Yeah, and some guy from the government goes, we need to shut that down right now. He figured something out. Hey, Chick, be careful. I've got a ketchup packet. I'm not afraid to use it. I don't.
B
Maybe we should have had a snow day. A woman ensuing in Florida, a convenience store claiming she was injured by a toilet paper dispenser. According to The Ocala News, Ms. Pauline Frederick Hicks.
A
I might have something in common. I hate our toilet dispute paper dispenser.
B
She filed a complaint against racetrack following a November 2025 incident.
A
Racetrack.
B
All right, yeah. Racetrack is an gas station trac. The suit alleges that Ms. Frederick Hicks was trying to retrieve toilet paper from a metal recessed dispenser when the unit's unlocked cabinet door abruptly swung open and hit her in the ankle, resulting in severe injury.
A
Severe.
B
She's Accusing the gas station of negligence and seeking damages in excess of $50,000.
A
I mean, you were telling me you were in a convenience store toilet last week. Yeah, there we go.
B
There we go.
A
What was he doing?
B
I remember.
A
I remember telling you, and you fell off the changing table. Hurt your back. Yeah, man. And that is still. That lawsuit is still pending. Huh. But I can see all those metal flangey things sticking out of the wall with the. I get that. You think 50,000 worth of damage. Well, that depends. How many. What kind of cooties did she get from. I wouldn't touch one of those things for $50,000.
B
That would hurt her ankle.
A
But, I mean, you can get really hurt by random metal. Trust me. I've got a giant cut on my arm from my kitchen drawer. What? That's what that bandage is. I have a huge, unbelievable cut on my arm.
B
From your kitchen drawer?
A
Yes. Unbelievable cut.
B
Do you have metal cabinets, metal handle?
A
It was little. I mean, it's a gash. It's really nasty. It's not. It's like a tiny. It's like a tiny cut. Trust me, it's. I don't believe. When you were young and you would get a tiny cut, and the next day it was essentially gone.
B
Yep.
A
And now I get a tiny cut and I go, that's there for six months. It's crazy how the body just. This thing is nasty. I had to go to CVS and buy a whole array of bandages. Oh, my God. Where is it again?
B
You can see.
A
Look at it. It's right there. Oh, my God.
B
You would have an array of bandages
A
the size of two quarters, and it's all blood. And I don't. Bled all weekend long. It. Yeah, I swept across and it ripped off a couple of postage stamps worth of skin. I'd show it to you, but I don't have the time to put another bandage on. Oh, no. Yeah. You don't want to redress that. I don't have. I would need. I had to get. I had to get. Not. I put a regular bandage on it, and when I pulled it off, it just ripped the whole scab off. Why didn't you get. If you get some stitches, that's what you should have done. Oh, God. I'm surprised I didn't need you yet. Amputate. Yeah. Okay. That is. I sprayed. No way. We can say I sprayed it with Bactine, which, by the way, took me 15 minutes to operate. It took me 15 minutes to go back. You've got to press one button with this Hand and together and dial this spherical thing over. Oh, yeah. 15 minutes operate. Oh, boy. Gotta have lights, glasses.
B
Don't you have any help over there? Doesn't she help fix you up?
A
She actually put this. Man, she's a former nurse. Thank God. What have I told you about this, Christy?
B
I love Kelly.
A
No, no, she. She put the bandage on this.
B
Yeah.
A
Okay, that's sweet. Were the girls laughing? No, they were grossed out. It was so bloody, bleeding. I mean, it looked like my sink was just blood everywhere. It was blood everywhere, man. Now, what would you rather do? Cut yourself at a toilet dispenser at a convenience store gas station or eat one of their hot dogs? Which is more dangerous? Oh, I need a hot dog.
B
Hot dogs are great.
A
You eat those roller hot dogs? Yes. No, no. It depends on the service station. Roller dogs is what they're called. And yes. I have never had. I have never had one. Depends on the Texas guy.
B
Well, of course, you guys, it's like
A
he's a time traveler. Have you ever just gotten here from 1900?
B
Have you ever been in a convenience store?
A
Oh, I love. I was just one. A new one called the Wawa. Yes, it's new to this region. That place was amazing. Oh, yeah, yeah, they're great. It was like Nordstrom's level. Now the food there, the turnover is awesome. So it's gonna. It's gonna be good and fresh. Oh, yeah. And they've got the tuna fish, egg salad, chicken salad. Oh, yeah. That was great. It's the best. Yeah, but no, I've never had a. I've never been tempted by a roller hot dog machine. I mean, the hot. Those things could have been there for weeks.
B
No, they're not there for weeks.
A
Oh, come on. You know that some of the people that work there don't care. Oh, gosh, I don't. I. I'm sure. I'm sure the ones at Wawa are just fine. They look. They looked like. Yeah, that. You know what? That totally saved it. Yeah, we. We believe you'll eat one of those. Yeah. Yeah, we believe you. Joining us in the studio, professional comedian Sean Mori is here with us. Sean, nice to see you. I get annoyed by sm. Certain things. You know, little things. People who use the word friggin. Friggin. What the hell is that? Make a stand. Say the F word or say golly gosh darn. What does friggin mean anyway? I'm almost mad enough to cuss. Don't push me. I'll say friggin. I don't give A shooby doobie. I heard a funny word the other day. I said, for crepe's sake. Who would that be? Jesus Crepes the son of Gosh. Of the church of holy moly. I'm not making fun of it. Gosh, I don't want to go to heck. Bravo. I believe in Jesus Christ and his mother. Geez louise. All the disciples. Golly gee willikers. Goody goody gumdrops. G whiz. Holy cow, Buy gum and sweet patootie. There's too much obscenity. Really? What do you mean? Now, how about these? These kids you see wearing obscene T shirts out in public, wearing a shirt that says shut up. What's he trying to prove? His mother didn't dress him. Oh, Bobby, wear your shut up T shirt today. You look so cute in that. Oh, no, I don't want to. Oh, come on. Wear your blow me shirt. I mean, when I was a teenager, we wore T shirts that said make love, not war. Right now they say eat crap and die. I think they're setting their goals high enough. I'll bet it wasn't really crap, was it? Said something else in that shirt. I'm walking with my grandmother. A guy walks by with a T shirt that says eat me raw. My grandma. I'm really sorry you had to see that. She said, oh, screw him. Wasn't screw either, was it? Frig. No, she made a stand. She took a stand. More Bob and Tom Extra is coming up next. That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra, catch us on itunes, Google play and Stitcher for Bob and Tom Extra, this is Christopher. Take care, everybody. This isn't your average podcast. You like party? I do like a huge chug of tequila. The howler head whiskey bottle chug in front of Dana White. That was the first time we ever went to la. We somehow got into a Diddy party. What's an Elon Musk house party look like? My parties generally have a very high production value. This is Full Send. I do want to do a lot more pranks.
B
Bunch of different pranks.
A
Join the party. Jack Doherty in the house. Feeling good, man. What are we going to talk about with Will Smith? I know what you're going to say. Shout out to Theo Von. It's been entertaining, dude. The Full Send podcast. Grab the boys, grab the beers. Let's do it. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.
Date: February 20, 2026
Hosts: Bob, Tom, and the B&T Crew
Guest: Sean Mori (comedian)
This B&T Extra dives into the weird and hilarious world of recent food-related crime stories and mishaps, including a brisket shoplifted down a suspect’s pants, a mother-daughter pork chop assault, and the saga of a weaponized ketchup packet. The crew, with their signature comedic banter, riff on the news, share personal stories, and escalate every headline into a running gag, all capped by a performance from comedian Sean Mori.
[04:15 - 05:14]
[05:12 - 07:23]
[07:11 - 09:15]
[11:33 - 13:52]
[14:22 - 16:08]
[18:16 - 19:03]
[19:04 - 22:45]
On Shoplifting Brisket:
On Pork Chop Assault:
On Ketchup Packet Attack:
On Gas Station Food:
Sean Mori’s Stand-Up Highlights:
| Segment | Timestamp | |-------------------------------|-------------| | Brisket shoplifting story | 04:15–05:14 | | Pork chop assault story | 05:12–07:23 | | Meat, childhood meals, lobster | 07:11–09:15 | | Ketchup packet "battery" | 11:33–13:52 | | Toilet paper dispenser lawsuit | 14:22–16:08 | | Gas station roller hot dogs | 18:16–19:03 | | Sean Mori's stand-up | 19:04–22:45 |
Irreverent, rapid fire, often veering off-topic for comic effect. The hosts make running jokes, puns, and escalate the absurdity of even minor news stories, all while riffing on each other's quirks and old-school vs. new-school sensibilities.
This episode epitomizes the show's blend of offbeat news and comedy. The hosts elevate minor misdemeanors into elaborate bits, punctuated by ongoing food debates and topped off by a lively guest comic. If you like goofy riffs on real news, dad-joke one-liners, and the camaraderie of a morning crew, this episode delivers.