B&T Extra: Skynyrd, California highway, & sounds like a sex move

Summary

Podcast Summary: The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast - B&T Extra: Skynyrd, California Highway, & Sounds Like a Sex Move

Release Date: April 7, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of B&T Extra, hosted by The BOB & TOM Show on the Cumulus Podcast Network, listeners are treated to a blend of comedy, current events, and lighthearted discussions. Christopher kicks off the segment by teasing the main topics, including stories about Skynyrd, an unusual incident on a California highway, and a humorous take on what sounds like a sex move.

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Key Discussions and Stories

1. Custom Fortune Cookies Gone Awry

   Christy narrates a quirky incident involving a recipient of custom fortune cookies. Ms. Nahi Chu, a restaurant owner from Connecticut, encountered a mix-up where offensive messages intended for her custom orders were inadvertently sent to other customers. This mishap led to the manufacturer changing their policy to reject orders containing expletives.

   Christy [09:02]: "Ms. Nahi Chu, the owner of a popular Vietnamese restaurant, was quite upset to find offensive messages in her customers' fortune cookies."

   The hosts humorously speculate on the potential fallout of such a scenario, imagining fortunes that could spoil Valentine's Day plans or introduce unexpected humor into a romantic setting.

   Bob [10:10]: "That could spoil your lucky numbers. 69, man. 420. You know, all the classics."

2. Chopsticks Incident on California Highway

   Transitioning to a bizarre traffic hazard, Christy shares a report from California Highway Patrol about a truck that accidently dropped a load of chopsticks onto the I-580 freeway, turning the freeway into a chaotic "pickup sticks" game.

   Christy [04:14]: "The CHP's Hayward station said officers discovered someone turned the freeway into a giant game of pickup sticks."

   The discussion takes a comedic turn as Pat and Chick create a parody song about the incident, blending cultural references with slapstick humor.

   Chick [05:41]: "Chopsticks flying through the air. The cops are playing pickup sticks, and everyone thinks I'm a restless dick spilling those chopsticks."

3. Woman Arrested for Battering with a Dildo

   The hosts delve into a more risqué story reported by Christy about a woman arrested in Florida for battering her ex-husband with a dildo. The altercation stemmed from a dispute over Instagram follows, escalating to physical confrontation.

   Christy [14:19]: "She became drunk and began arguing with him about who he follows on Instagram. At one point, the 50-year-old suspect pulled out a dildo and began to hit the victim with it."

   Bob humorously speculates on what such an unconventional weapon might be called if modified, blending creativity with comedic flair.

   Bob [15:05]: "Now, if you took two dildos and then put a short chain between them... like nunchucks."

4. 104-Year-Old Woman's Jail Visit

   Celebrating longevity with a twist, Christy shares the heartwarming story of Loretta, a 104-year-old woman from upstate New York who fulfilled her wish of visiting the inside of a jail. The Livingston County Sheriff's Office accommodated her request, highlighting her secret to a long life: "mind your business."

   Christy [15:56]: "She told Sheriff Thomas Doherty that the secret to living a long life is to quote, 'mind your business,' that is."

   The hosts reminisce about their own brief and comedic experiences with incarceration, adding personal anecdotes for humor.

   Chick [16:28]: "We got a little bologna sandwich and an apple. A horrible bologna sandwich and an apple, and I did not eat."

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Musical Interludes and Parodies

Throughout the episode, the hosts engage in musical parody, particularly focusing on the "Chopsticks" melody. Chick attempts to infuse an Asian flair into the song, leading to a humorous rendition that ties back to the earlier chopsticks incident.

Chick [05:12]: "Here goes the song. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Chew it on a dumpling Driving down my truck's loaded with chopsticks..."

The group playfully debates the cultural origins of chopsticks, blending educational tidbits with their signature humor.

Tom [07:00]: "You still use chopsticks?"

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Humorous Banter and Jokes

The episode is peppered with the hosts' trademark banter, puns, and witty exchanges. Topics range from the nuances of karaoke pronunciation to playful teasing about each other's experiences and preferences.

Bob [03:11]: "He caught his wife having an affair with somebody. It sounds like..."

Tom [10:19]: "It's a pretty song. I heard."

One notable instance involves a pun on the word "turgid," showcasing the hosts' love for wordplay.

Bob [16:46]: "You know, they used to be able to eat in a real jail. It was a restaurant."

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Notable Quotes

• Bob [10:10]: "That could spoil your lucky numbers. 69, man. 420. You know, all the classics."

• Chick [05:28]: "My truck's loaded with chopsticks... right. Isn't that good?"

• Christy [14:30]: "She became drunk and began arguing with him about who he follows on Instagram."

• Bob [16:26]: "It was a turgid read. A little bit hard to get through."

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Conclusion

As the episode wraps up, Christopher signs off, reminding listeners to catch up on the BOB & TOM Show Extra via popular platforms like iTunes, Google Play, and Stitcher. The hosts maintain their comedic momentum until the very end, ensuring that listeners leave with smiles and chuckles.

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Final Thoughts

This episode of B&T Extra exemplifies The BOB & TOM Show's ability to blend current events with humor and camaraderie among the hosts. From bizarre traffic incidents to unconventional law enforcement stories, the hosts navigate each topic with wit and insight, making it an engaging listen for both regular fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[NHTSA Representative]

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[Commercial Announcer]

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[Christopher]

Welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom extra. This is Christopher. Not only is the Bob and Tom show live every weekday morning, but every afternoon. We'll give you a little extra in case you missed anything. Coming up on today's show, Skinner, California highway and. Sounds like a sex move. It's coming up in just a second.

[NHTSA Representative]

Are you someone who tries to drive while distracted by your phone? Someone who props it on the steering wheel or peeks down at it for a glance or just scrolls and scrolls? If so, you could be the next person to get into a fender bender, get a ticket, veer off the road, or even cause a crash that kills you or someone else. Enough already. Put the phone away or pay. Paid for by nhtsa.

[Commercial Announcer]

We know what you need. Here's another healthy dose of Bob and Tom extra.

[Bob]

A lot going on here. I think we had to get to a request here. Is that correct?

[Christy]

Yes, because we have a story that will lead to a song that would be coming from our own.

[Bob]

You ready over there, Mr. Roboto? Well, Christy, why don't you do this? We'll get back to stories in a minute. I'm sorry. I don't want Chick to be all mad because we.

[Christy]

Once again, sports was done.

[Pat]

Sports was done. Finished, Kaput.

[Bob]

That was it.

[Pat]

Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I do have one more story here. You know, experts have said.

[Bob]

No, it's Skinner. Love it.

[Pat]

I don't have another story. Look at here.

[Bob]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Chick]

Ed King.

[Bob]

That's. That's tasty, that, isn't it? Yeah. Here we go. Like a black cat, dude. All right, thank you very much. Wait a minute.

[Chick]

But your body's laying naked thinking they.

[Commercial Announcer]

Ain'T got nothing to do.

[Chick]

So he creeps into the house. The door, See?

[Pat]

Creeped into the house and unlocked your door.

[Bob]

A mistake.

[Chick]

As a man is reaching for his trousers, he shoots him full of the.

[Bob]

There we go. There, see what happened there?

[Christy]

He caught his wife having an affair with somebody. It sounds like.

[Bob]

Elvis. Thank you very much.

[Tom]

Yeah, that was excellent, Chick. Excellent. Thank you.

[Bob]

Is that your. Are you gonna do that at karaoke?

[Pat]

I don't know what. My carry.

[Christopher]

Oh.

[Pat]

Footsteps by Pearl Jams what is the.

[Bob]

Correct way to pronounce that, by the way?

[Chick]

I think it's karoki karaoke.

[Bob]

Is it? What is it? Karaoke?

[Pat]

I feel like. I feel like I'm putting a little flavor in it that I should.

[Bob]

Well, speaking of.

[Christy]

Most people say karaoke, I think.

[Bob]

Speaking of things of Japanese origin, California.

[Christy]

Highway Patrol officers report they've encountered a truck that dropped its load of chopsticks onto i580.

[Tom]

Oh, boy.

[Christy]

The.

[Pat]

Am I in trouble if I say hoary smokes. Would that be bad?

[Bob]

That'd be bad.

[Christy]

The CHP's Hayward station said officers responded to a report of a traffic hazard and discovered someone turned the freeway into a giant game of pickup sticks. The incident served as a reminder to drivers to secure their load. Okay, did you see how.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Tom]

She's a filthy woman. She's filthy.

[Bob]

He's got his pat. So now can you play the song Chopsticks on the guitar?

[Pat]

That's not Chopsticks.

[Bob]

That's like a Hollywood version of. Now whatever. That's. They do that in movies in Hollywood when they want to go to the Orient, they play that, and they're actually.

[Pat]

Back in on the back lot. That's like sukiyaki or something.

[Chick]

This is a piano thing. I don't.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Tom]

It's got to be impossible to play it on.

[Chick]

It's impossible.

[Tom]

Yes.

[Chick]

I thought I would add a little Asian flare.

[Bob]

I have friends that could probably do it.

[Chick]

Oh, better players could probably do it. Here goes the song. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Chew it on a dumpling Driving down.

[Tom]

The road.

[Chick]

My truck's loaded with chopsticks hey, that made me want some faux. It's pronounced pho.

[Pat]

That's right.

[Chick]

I know. No. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. California highway took a turn too fast. Shouldn't have been such a lead foot. Oh, on the gas truck full of chopsticks on my heavy load so there's not a fork in the road. Right. Isn't that good?

[Pat]

That's comedy.

[Bob]

They don't use forks. You see? Right. Bunch of forks in the road.

[Pat]

Works on all the levels.

[Bob]

Would you turn?

[Chick]

And there's sweet rice noodles in my hair. Chopsticks flying through the air. The cops are playing pickup sticks, and everyone thinks I'm a restless dick spilling those chopsticks. Oh, now here's the problem. I want to go something Asian and let's. Let's just kind of. Let's shop this dim sum.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Is that Chinese? That's Chinese though, right?

[Tom]

You still use chopsticks?

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Oh, so does that all be Japanese?

[Tom]

It doesn't have to be Japanese.

[Chick]

What do you got?

[Bob]

Domo arigato.

[Chick]

Domo.

[Bob]

Mr. Roboto.

[Chick]

Domo.

[Bob]

What do they do. What do they say in South Korea for like, ooh, you know any South Korean?

[Tom]

Sure, sure.

[Bob]

What does that mean?

[Tom]

Hel.

[Pat]

Chop, chop, chop.

[Chick]

Suey chop, chop, chop.

[Christy]

That was just a bunch of silliness.

[Tom]

Tom, do you need chopsticks? I have like a bundle of them and I. I know your girls like to use them.

[Bob]

Oh, I. I have a drawer.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Bob]

With all the. Whenever you go to get takeout.

[Tom]

Yeah. They always were the accident where they. Plastic or wood?

[Christy]

Oh, God. Ace. I don't know, man.

[Tom]

If you go to a place and they have plastic chopsticks, don't eat there.

[Christy]

Probably would.

[Pat]

You would think they'd have to. Yeah.

[Christy]

The stainless steel ones are really slippery though. Have you ever used those?

[Tom]

That's all you had in Korea, and so I mastered those.

[Christy]

Good for you.

[Tom]

Pick up a cube of ice with those.

[Christy]

What?

[Tom]

I'm very good.

[Pat]

This is Sukiyaki by Caillou Sakamoto.

[Bob]

This was a top 40 hit, wasn't it?

[Pat]

I think so. Here's the recognizable.

[Tom]

It's a pretty song. I heard.

[Pat]

I think one of these.

[Tom]

Here it is.

[Pat]

Why?

[Bob]

Okay.

[Pat]

Maybe. Maybe.

[Bob]

That was a legitimate top 40 hit way back in the day.

[Pat]

Like 60s, before the Beatles.

[Tom]

Really pretty song.

[Christy]

Yes.

[Bob]

Wow. Well, thank you very much, Pat.

[Christy]

A restaurant owner in Australia has been told to censor her profanity laced fortune cookies following a factory mix up. Ms. Nahi Chu, the owner of a popular Vietnamese restaurant, lady Chu, told 9News she placed an order for her unique fortune cookies ahead of Valentine's Day.

[Bob]

All right.

[Christy]

However, the manufacturer told her that they were no longer accepting offensive language after her messages were mistakenly mixed into other customers orders. The manufacturer later told 9News they changed their policy to stop accepting customized orders with offensive or expletive words after other customers were quite upset to find Ms. Chu's messages inside their Custom cookies quite upset some of Ms. Chu's fortune.

[Bob]

Well, wait till you hear. So imagine you're. You're your favorite. Say a Chinese restaurant for the sake of the story.

[Tom]

Panda Express. Yeah.

[Bob]

And. And you get a. You get a fortune cookie, and it says.

[Christy]

And you open it up and it says, the year of the snake bears. Good fortune. Your divorce is coming soon.

[Tom]

That's funny.

[Christy]

And I only married you for your money, you ugly C word.

[Bob]

Whoa.

[Christy]

Whoa.

[Bob]

Really? You see, that might. That might spoil your valentine.

[Pat]

Honey, I think I got your cookie.

[Bob]

That could spoil your lucky numbers. 69, man. 420. You know, all the classics.

[Christy]

That's gonna end tonight.

[Tom]

Mom, what does this mean?

[Christy]

Ms. Chews complained that her orders are private and a mix up is the factory's fault, not hers.

[Bob]

It's.

[Christy]

There it is.

[Tom]

She is, right?

[Christy]

Yeah, kind of.

[Tom]

But. But they don't want to do it. They don't have to do it.

[Bob]

Doesn't the dirty fortune cookie sound like a sex move? Sure, Josh. I don't know if you ever saw. But Josh's lady friend, he gave her the. He gave her the dirty. The dirty fortune cookie. She ain't walking right. Josh hates that joke.

[Tom]

Well, I need another cup of coffee. Oh, it doesn't.

[Bob]

Another.

[Tom]

Doesn't sound like a sex move. Sound like a sex move. Yeah, it does.

[Pat]

I think he's tired of that approach. I think he might be.

[Tom]

And I'm a fan of low hanging fruit.

[Bob]

He might be fatigued, Tom.

[Tom]

Now.

[Bob]

Now, you know the, the traditional. I'll ask you, Christy, there's a traditional thing to do for fun while having Asian food or.

[Christy]

Yes. You read your fortune and then you say in bed.

[Tom]

That's also intolerable.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Oh, wow. I'm sorry. I. I sorry, Mr. Killjoy. No, no. By the way, Killjoy sounds like a sex move, baby. This is gonna hurt.

[Tom]

It did hurt, and my joy has been killed.

[Bob]

Let's see, if you. If you had in bed to the. To this, it really makes them somehow less offensive.

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Bob]

You.

[Christy]

You're not getting in bed if she gets that fortune.

[Bob]

Yeah, no, there. There is a place here where I. Yeah, right. Yeah, right over. Right near here where you can get your custom fortune cookies.

[Tom]

That's pretty cool.

[Bob]

You can have. You can have some fun with. You don't necessarily have to go the dirty fortune cookie route.

[Pat]

Is that a. Is that. Is that a need that's being filled?

[Christy]

I think for birthday parties. We had them here once.

[Pat]

Really?

[Bob]

Yeah, I got them for you guys for Christmas once.

[Christy]

Yeah, we did you don't remember that.

[Tom]

Do you like the flavor of them?

[Bob]

I do. I love you.

[Christy]

I love them. Especially dipped in tea.

[Bob]

I agree with you. But this is a good opportunity for us to explore one of Josh and Chick's pet peeves, which is at a Chinese buffet. The desserts.

[Pat]

It's absolutely dead on.

[Bob]

Are. The only thing that is lacking is the.

[Tom]

Very much so. Yeah, yeah. Now I'm not opposed to a big steam tray, cold, of course, filled with pudding.

[Bob]

Yeah, that's.

[Tom]

Look, don't try too hard here. Chinese restaurants.

[Pat]

Here's the thing. If you're gonna offer ice cream, have a soft serve machine. I don't know what they do, but they have a soft serve machine. But it's heavy on the water.

[Bob]

Yes.

[Pat]

Various grains of ice. Exactly right. It's not good ice cream.

[Tom]

It's sleety.

[Pat]

It is sleety.

[Bob]

You know, sleety sounds like a sex move. Johnny. I gave her the sleepy. This lady. She had. She had to go wash her face. Her eyes were burning.

[Christy]

Nobody wants to eat, sleep.

[Bob]

My point would be.

[Tom]

But this is not a fair point.

[Bob]

The delightful Chinese restaurants. After you finish, then you go to a dessert place.

[Tom]

But buffet should be all encompassing.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Bob]

Christy and I go to a great place and right across the street is Dairy Queen. So you talk about a win win.

[Tom]

It isn't. You have to. You have to. You're. You're double dipping on sales tax. There. There's a lot going on.

[Pat]

That's right.

[Bob]

You know, double dipping sounds like.

[Pat]

Because that's my son of a.

[Christy]

Police in Florida have arrested a woman for allegedly battering her ex husband with a dildo.

[Bob]

I guess battering is better than frying it.

[Christy]

Officers were dispatched to a Fort Pierce residence for disturbance involving a 52 year old man and a 50 year old woman. The victim told police that his ex was briefly staying with him before she was able to relocate to Connecticut to start her life over.

[Tom]

Sounds like a Hallmark movie.

[Christy]

He said she became drunk and began arguing with him about who he follows on Instagram. At one point, the 50 year old suspect pulled out a dildo and began to hit the victim with it.

[Tom]

Is that against the penal code?

[Bob]

Oh, very good.

[Christy]

She was taken into custody on a misdemeanor battery count.

[Bob]

If you go.

[Christy]

Officers arrived at the man's home where he warned them that the woman was inside naked and would flash. Officers? Yeah, she sounds like a.

[Tom]

They called for backup and 75 officers went in.

[Bob]

You see the. I don't think you want to see this. She looks like, she's been around, if you know what I'm saying? If you. I have a question for you.

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Bob]

So she allegedly beat this guy with a dildo.

[Christy]

Correct.

[Bob]

Now, if you. What would you call it if you took two dildos and then put a short chain between them.

[Christy]

Oh, like nunchucks.

[Bob]

Like nunchucks. Oh. Any ideas rhyme with nunchucks?

[Tom]

Oh, yeah, just go f. Yeah.

[Bob]

I don't know.

[Tom]

You asked for ideas.

[Pat]

You.

[Bob]

What the. Now, when I heard batter dildos, it's like, hey, we got an idea for you at the state fair this year.

[Tom]

You know, that is something they haven't tried yet.

[Bob]

I know, I know. You've done the deep fried. Everything else. The deep fried, battered dildo.

[Tom]

Now, ma'am, you're gonna want to let that cool.

[Christy]

A woman in upstate New York celebrated her 104th birthday by fulfilling her wish of seeing the inside of a jail.

[Bob]

Wow.

[Christy]

Livingston County Sheriff's Office said the woman named Loretta requested the visit because she's never been to jail before. Before Loretta's tour, sheriff's officials celebrated the centenarian with coffee and cake. She told Sheriff Thomas Doherty that secret to living a long life is to quote, mind your business, that is.

[Bob]

You know what?

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Christy]

I like that.

[Bob]

Pat, when you were in stir, did they wheel any. Any ladies by? Any old ladies? What are you here for, sonny?

[Chick]

I was in the mail section.

[Tom]

Did you get coffee and cake?

[Chick]

No. We got a little bologna sandwich and an apple.

[Pat]

Wasn't like a candy bar and a bowl of soup.

[Chick]

A little inside joke.

[Christy]

All right.

[Chick]

A horrible bologna sandwich and an apple, and I. I did not eat.

[Christy]

You were there a day?

[Chick]

14 hours.

[Christy]

You're even a day makes a man hard.

[Bob]

Yeah, sure does. Which. Which your fellow. Your fellow inmates?

[Christy]

Are you turgid?

[Bob]

Thank you, Christy. The second time we've had the word turgid. Isn't turgid also used to describe, like, a really boring novel?

[Tom]

Yeah, I think so.

[Bob]

It was. It was kind of a turgid read. A little bit hard to get through.

[Tom]

Stiff, difficult.

[Bob]

Okay, so I'm sorry, she's how old? 101.

[Christy]

104.

[Chick]

She just wanted to see the inside, not stay.

[Christy]

Yeah, she just wanted to see the inside of a jail.

[Chick]

She could have called me.

[Bob]

You know, they used to be able.

[Pat]

To eat in a real jail. It was a restaurant.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Christy]

That was cool.

[Pat]

I saw the most magnificent server mistake. They dropped a ramekin of salsa on the floor.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And it landed as flat. As flat as you can imagine. And it just Exploded like a firework. Salsa was ever. Yeah, it was glorious.

[Tom]

Yeah. They have a sub sandwich place that you can. Yeah. State. Penn Station. Have you guys tried that?

[Pat]

I have.

[Christy]

Not a cup of fries.

[Bob]

You know, I used to play with Mr. Potato Head and I pretend I was also Meet the Press. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But. And I really said Mark Russet. Well, thank you very much, Christy. That's.

[Christy]

You're welcome.

[Bob]

I hear the lady wants to go for 105th birthday. She wants to go to Gitmo. Oh, you see some real badasses. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that'll be. And I guess there's a lot of planes going down there, so. Hop on board, grandma. Put a file.

[Tom]

Get more people in there. Carl Albert, Where'd you go?

[Chick]

Where'd you go?

[Tom]

We need you now.

[Chick]

Cuban missile crisis.

[Bob]

Put on the bubble top jfk. I don't care if it's a sunny day.

[Chick]

There you go.

[Tom]

Well, maybe drive faster than two.

[Chick]

Extra security.

[Bob]

Well, I think we've successfully gone off the rails, by the way. Off the rails. Sounds like a sexual. Starting to make it funny again.

[Tom]

And it's making me mad.

[Pat]

There's only some of us going to return.

[Bob]

When we come back, I just like this old lady being wheeled through a jail. Jail cell. I'm scared straight. One of the inmates said, I smell the bitch on you, Nana. What does that mean?

[Chick]

What happened?

[Christopher]

That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on itunes, Google Play and Stitcher for Bob and Tom. Extra. This is Christopher. Take care, everybody.

[Chick]

Bravo TV star Lala Kent holds nothing back.

[Lala Kent]

There's been so many times where I'm like, I apologize that I said that, but that wasn't meant for you to hear.

[Tom]

Feel you there.

[Lala Kent]

How fun would it be to bring in some Bravo liberties and make our own bracket iconic? All right, I'll take Dorinda. You take Sonia.

[Bob]

Sonia is who I wish I could be. You and me both.

[Lala Kent]

I cannot be someone in the program. What's PTO pay time off.

[Chick]

See, you never had a real job. Give them Lala.

[Lala Kent]

It is nothing but honesty.

[NHTSA Representative]

You guys know follow and listen on your favorite platform.