BT Extra: Things stuck in orifaces, & Birds exploding

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast

Episode: BT Extra: Things Stuck in Orifices, & Birds Exploding
Date: September 25, 2025
Hosts & Cast: Tom Griswold, Bob Kevoian, Chick McGee, Christy Lee, Josh Arnold, Ace Cosby, Christopher

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Episode Overview

This BOB & TOM Show Extra dishes out the trademark blend of irreverent humor as the crew explores two main themes: the bizarre array of objects that have been reported stuck in human orifices (drawn from actual ER reports) and a strange local news story about birds "exploding" in California. Brimming with banter, off-color jokes, and classic comedic chemistry, the episode is a playful—and occasionally wince-inducing—look at human behavior and oddball news.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Odd Items Found in Orifices (02:04 - 18:06)

Rectal Adventures

• Emergency Room Data Mining: Christy Lee introduces findings from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, listing objects extracted from various orifices (05:11).
• List of Notable Rectal Items (06:14 - 12:10):
  • Action figures: “Action figures stuck in the butt. That’s right. And an action figure head.” (Christy Lee, 06:23)
  • Toilet brush, plastic toy fish, 16 oz glass bottle, piece of a lamp, ratchet wrench, various sex toys (some in for six months!), vegetable peeler, water balloon, fishing pole, crochet needle, ice cream cone, poker chips, athlete’s foot spray can, long wax candle, billiard ball.
  • Humorous banter:
    • “You gotta be careful where you... 16 ounce bottle.” (Tom Griswold, 07:27)
    • “If you’re working with the brush, you’re serious.” (Tom Griswold, 06:45)
    • “What number rectum? ... Has anybody seen the cue ball rectum?” (Tom Griswold & Josh Arnold, 12:08)
    • Ongoing jokes about how these objects could even fit, the ER’s response, and making bets with poker chips.
• Logistics & Oddities:
  • Discussion on how certain items (like water balloons or wax candles) ended up where they did, with plenty of comedic speculation and skepticism.

Other Orifices: Vagina & Urethra (13:35 - 18:06)

• Vagina:
  • Pen cap, pencil sharpeners, drinking cup, golf ball, flashlight, drumstick, nail polish bottle, camera lens cap, various soaps, spatula, screw, and coin.
  • “What is she using it [her vagina] as, a junk drawer?” (Josh Arnold, 16:54)
  • “Two pencil sharpeners... probably the handheld.” (Christy Lee & Chick McGee, 14:23)
• Penis/Urethra (Sounding)
  • Cell phone charger and 14-inch cord, USB cord, ceiling fan chain.
  • “I can’t even put a lace through a pair of sweatpants, let alone a… 14-inch cord.” (Tom Griswold, 17:21)
  • “Cord’s a popular one… ceiling fan chain in his penis hole. States it has been there since his shower at 9 last night.” (Christy Lee, 17:44)
  • Over-the-top jokes about using cell phones or remotes, and old-school vs. modern technology "solutions.”

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2. Birds Exploding in the Bay Area (18:57 – 20:49)

• News Report Recap: Christy details recent reports of birds found dead/mysteriously “exploding” in California.
  • “According to ABC News, residents… claim they have found multiple dead birds in the area.” (Christy Lee, 19:13)
  • Investigation suggests trauma from pellet/BB guns or slingshots, not electrocution.
• Classic BOB & TOM Jokes:
  • Randy Johnson’s infamous bird-obliterating pitch referenced: “Is it because of Randy Johnson throwing pitches?” (Ace Cosby, 19:04)
  • “Find someone who spent a lot of money at a car wash on a consistent basis.” (Chick McGee, 19:53)
• Bird Behavior Banter: They riff on the impossibility of potty-training birds and the woes of public statue performers being targeted by pigeons.

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3. Other Memorable Bits

Bob Kevoian’s Song: "Maybe I Should Cut the Grass" (02:04 – 04:58)

• A comedic original song detailing the perils of neglecting lawn care (“Can’t find my lawn chair, can’t find my radio, can’t find the yard rake, can’t find the garden hose... maybe I should cut the grass.”).

Ace Cosby’s Joke of the Day (12:58)

• Q: “What state is known for their tiny soft drinks?”
  A: “Mini-soda (Minnesota).”

• “I liked it when I first heard it in 1967.” (Tom Griswold, 13:26)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I want specific action. I want to know... It doesn’t say which one.” (Josh Arnold, 06:28)
• “If you’re working with the brush, you’re serious.” (Tom Griswold, 06:45)
• “Don’t splash the pot.” (Josh Arnold, 10:50)
• “What number rectum?” (Tom Griswold, 12:08)
• “Honey, will you come over here and crank this for me?” (Tom Griswold, 14:33)
• “What is she using it as a junk drawer?” (Josh Arnold, 16:54)
• “I call it the super shower, and I get in there and get the chain from my ceiling fan…” (Tom Griswold, 18:00)
• “I can’t even put a lace through a pair of sweatpants, let alone a…” (Tom Griswold, 17:21)
• “Is it because of Randy Johnson throwing pitches?” (Ace Cosby, 19:04)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Start of Episode Summary (Skip Ads): 01:01
• "Maybe I Should Cut the Grass" Song: 02:04 – 04:58
• Introduction to 'Things Stuck in Orifices': 05:11
• Rectum List: 06:14 – 13:35
• Vagina/Urethra Section: 13:35 – 18:06
• Birds Exploding News: 18:57 – 20:49
• Episode Wrap-up: 21:10

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Overall Tone & Style

The hosts riff freely, playfully grossing each other out while keeping the banter lighthearted, quick-witted, and reliably inappropriate. Comedic callbacks, puns, and one-liners are delivered in each host’s distinctive voice, making the episode feel like a hilarious, slightly unhinged group hang with friends who love to crack each other up.

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For First-Time Listeners

This episode is a quintessential BOB & TOM experience—full of wild news bits, hilarious improvisation, and the kind of shared laughter that makes even the most jaw-dropping ER mishap or strange local headline worth a listen. If you enjoy comedy that’s clever, a bit crude, and always quick on its feet, jump in—just maybe not while eating.

Transcript

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[Christopher]

Welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom extra. This is Christopher. Not only is the Bob and Tom show live every weekday morning, but every afternoon. We'll give you a little extra in case you missed anything on today's big show. Things stuck in orifices and birds exploding. It's coming up in just a second.

[Kelly Clarkson]

It's Kelly Clarkson, here to talk all things Wayfair. The best place to buy furniture, decor and anything else you can think of to create a home you absolutely love. I know when I shop with Wayfair, I find options for every style. Whether I'm feeling boho or farmhouse, modern, traditional French country. I can find exactly what I need for my home and more. No matter your space, style or budget. Shopwayfair.com to make your home way more you.

[Tom Griswold]

Wayfair. Every style, every home.

[Bob Kevoian]

Summer is upon us and the sun is blistering and all of my valuables that turn up missing. Can't find my lawn chair can't find my radio can't find the yard break can't find the garden hose can't find the cans to throw away the trash maybe I should cut the grass.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, maybe.

[Bob Kevoian]

Fescue growing up higher and higher Guess I went a little crazy with the fertilizer can't find the barbecue can't find the meat can't see the neighbor's house across the street Couldn't find both hands if I use my ass maybe I should cut the grass.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a minute. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Should have got it earlier but I'm allergic. Just too cheap to get a service ticket from the city for a violation. Neighbors think I'm dead or on a Long vacation. Well, I got a new shiny riding mower With a three blade cutter and two cup holders where it's gone, two's just bewildered Went to ask my wife and children Find her purse and keys but they ain't come back maybe I should cut the grass Got so quiet you can't hear the wind blow and it's getting real shady around the upstairs windows the dog just whimpers and won't go outside and I sit up in my bed all night Listening to the lawn clawing at the glass maybe I should have cut the grass maybe I should have cut the grass maybe I should have.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, very nice.

[Christopher]

Hey, buddy, we know what you need. Here's another healthy dose of Bob and Tom extract.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Tom.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, Chick McGee.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

But right now we're talking to Christy.

[Christy Lee]

Lee based on the US Consumer Product Safety Commission's data database. Database.

[Tom Griswold]

Database.

[Josh Arnold]

Da da, da.

[Christy Lee]

Of emergency.

[Chick McGee]

The database is a place where all the clocks are melting.

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry. Heavy, man.

[Chick McGee]

Everyone has. Everyone has pencil. Pencil thin mustaches.

[Christy Lee]

For those of you who are watching the pit, they apparently make sure that they know exactly what's going on in emergency rooms all over the country. The old consumer products.

[Ace Cosby]

I'm going to be in Pittsburgh this week and I'm going to see if that show is true. I'm just going to wind up in that er. See what happens.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Defector has compiled a list of items that were stuck in people in very various orifices.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, all right, here we go.

[Chick McGee]

Would you want to. You want to, like, name the object and we have to figure out the orifice.

[Christy Lee]

Well, I have. I can't. Yes, I mean, I can. I have a.

[Chick McGee]

A list of them by orifice or by object.

[Christy Lee]

I have a list of objects, but I don't know where they go in What.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

But I do have. I have my own list of things.

[Josh Arnold]

That you've stuck in. Oh, my God.

[Chick McGee]

Let's start with butts.

[Christy Lee]

Okay, if we start with butts, then we have to go over to here.

[Josh Arnold]

That's pretty presumptuous.

[Christy Lee]

Do you want to guess or do you want to.

[Ace Cosby]

No, no, you can read action figures.

[Christy Lee]

Action figures stuck in the butt. That's right. And an action figure figure head.

[Josh Arnold]

I want. I want specific action. I want to know.

[Christy Lee]

It doesn't say which one.

[Tom Griswold]

Boba Fett, Fruits and Vegetables.

[Christy Lee]

That's not on here. I have a toilet brush.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that's not a handle or brush.

[Christy Lee]

It just says toilet brush. I don't know which end.

[Josh Arnold]

Pretty dirty.

[Tom Griswold]

If you're. If you're working with. With the brush. You're serious? Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

But I would think you could get that out.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, yeah, with the handle. Sure. Oh, these are one stock.

[Christy Lee]

These are stuck.

[Tom Griswold]

All right.

[Christy Lee]

Well, maybe the vacuum was too much and you couldn't pull it out. Plastic toy fish, huh?

[Ace Cosby]

Like one of those singing ones that you put on the wall or just a regular one?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Billy butt.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, not Billy ass. Very good.

[Chick McGee]

I. I chose to grow the more gentlemanly.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, that's what.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Emergency room visit. This was said by a patient. I was sent in by my wife for a possible 16 ounce glass bottle in rectum.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh boy, oh boy.

[Tom Griswold]

And you got to be careful where you.

[Christy Lee]

16 ounce bottle.

[Ace Cosby]

I mean, I love Mexican coke, but not that much.

[Christy Lee]

Piece of a lamp.

[Josh Arnold]

A piece of a lamp.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, take another piece of my lamp now, baby.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, man, you hope it wasn't the bulb.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, no, we had a picture of.

[Ace Cosby]

It if it was a little string and then you pulled it and then it turned the light on. On guy.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

What about a ratchet wrench?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I try that.

[Chick McGee]

Now. Would you go metric or.

[Christy Lee]

Patient entered the ER complaining of rectal pain. Admitted to inserting sex toys six months prior.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's right. I admit it.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Do you think it'd been up there for six months?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Well, the batteries ran out.

[Tom Griswold]

That would.

[Chick McGee]

Why wouldn't that kill.

[Tom Griswold]

Change the battery. How would you.

[Chick McGee]

Would things pass by?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

How did they quit him?

[Christy Lee]

I don't.

[Josh Arnold]

So in the rectum. You're right. I think things would just pass by.

[Tom Griswold]

It's I. It's like a highway and you have a bypass.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Somebody just does that automatically.

[Chick McGee]

So he's down to one lane, if you will.

[Ace Cosby]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

Boy, that's something.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't that something?

[Christy Lee]

Patient said vibrator egg and not sure if it was passed in stool.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know if I crap this thing out, doc or not.

[Christy Lee]

You need to look up there and see.

[Josh Arnold]

Will you go see, please? You know, this is your fourth visit here this week. I don't think you're here for this.

[Tom Griswold]

You're not here for the procedure, are you?

[Christy Lee]

What about a vegetable peeler?

[Tom Griswold]

Peeler.

[Josh Arnold]

That's handle for sure.

[Chick McGee]

Whoa, that's gonna hurt.

[Josh Arnold]

That's gotta be handle.

[Christy Lee]

A fist sized water balloon.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, hang on a second. Let's see what orifice we're talking about.

[Christy Lee]

So is the water still in says water balloon? I would ass the water would be in it.

[Josh Arnold]

That can't be easy to cram into Your butt. A water balloon.

[Christy Lee]

Without it bursting.

[Josh Arnold]

It'll either burst or.

[Tom Griswold]

Take a look at the. Or it's ain't us.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, here we go.

[Chick McGee]

I wonder if you probably have to use a plunging device like you're loading a revolutionary warrior.

[Josh Arnold]

A gun like a.

[Tom Griswold]

Like a tamper.

[Chick McGee]

A tamper?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, for. For a blunder bus.

[Christy Lee]

These are all still in the rectum. A fishing pole.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh no. It's got to be like a pocket fisher.

[Josh Arnold]

Can't be the whole spinning reel or bait. Ca.

[Christy Lee]

Trouble hook still on a crochet needle.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I can see that.

[Ace Cosby]

That one at least kind of makes sense because it's the right shape. It's conical. I mean this is all nonsense.

[Josh Arnold]

No, I know what you mean. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You know though. And it makes sense after what we've already heard.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, this seems reasonable.

[Christy Lee]

Ice cream cone.

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Josh Arnold]

Well that would. I. I'd go waffle cone because it tapers.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's probably one of those.

[Tom Griswold]

Wouldn't it? Get crossed.

[Chick McGee]

Plastic ice cream cones. I can't imagine it's plastic.

[Christy Lee]

They. Oh you mean like a.

[Tom Griswold]

Like a kid's toy. Real cone.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, because it would just melt and smell it, wouldn't it?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, we don't know if there's ice cream in it.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, that would be the waffle.

[Christy Lee]

Quite a treat.

[Chick McGee]

That'd be quite a feeling. Hey, wait a minute. It's neapolin. Don't put it in strawberry first.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, did you use the chocolate dips? Waffle cone. No, I didn't.

[Christy Lee]

Two poker chips because of a bet.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, but you can't win or lose.

[Ace Cosby]

Hey, check this out.

[Tom Griswold]

All in. Yeah, yeah, like hell I won't.

[Josh Arnold]

Don't splash the pot.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's the. The guy that made that bet is the guy that. At the end of the joke that goes, if you can't find me, I'll be hiding behind the couch. He wanted it.

[Christy Lee]

This is a good one. Patient came in saying he was playing with a container of athletes foot spray and accidentally it ended up in his rectum.

[Josh Arnold]

That's so funny.

[Tom Griswold]

Foot spray. And it ended up my ass.

[Christy Lee]

Even saying that.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I see the problem here, Sir. You've got 10 actin champ in your ass.

[Christy Lee]

Here's another one. Patient said he had a few beers, placed a long wax candle into his rectum, lost balance, fell onto a couch and lost hold of the candle.

[Josh Arnold]

Don't you just light it and wait?

[Tom Griswold]

Lost balance. Isn't there something called candling tom for your ear.

[Christy Lee]

For your ear.

[Tom Griswold]

Like ear infection or something. You're supposed to. That helps, I guess.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know. That doesn't sound.

[Ace Cosby]

Apparently, that takes away the good ear wax. You got ear wax in there that you need for equilibrium?

[Christy Lee]

Okay, one more. Billiard ball.

[Josh Arnold]

Whoa.

[Tom Griswold]

What? What? What number rectum. No, no, no, no.

[Chick McGee]

You don't want to go. You don't want to go with the eight ball rectum.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't think you heard my question correctly. You are not paying attention.

[Ace Cosby]

What number rectum?

[Josh Arnold]

Has anybody seen the cue ball rectum? I've got it. I assume you're breaking.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's a scratch.

[Chick McGee]

Now more tearing.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, the ball got stuck and he couldn't get it out. He had to put four more quarters in just to get the ball out.

[Josh Arnold]

Talk about eight ball, center pocket, huh? That's right. The butthole.

[Tom Griswold]

And you got to call it. That's right. Yeah, yeah. You got to call it.

[Chick McGee]

Or it doesn't.

[Tom Griswold]

Eight ball, corner pocket.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, wait a second. You know, we forgot to do.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Chick McGee]

Well, we forgot to do today in history again.

[Christy Lee]

Well, I'm not done with things stuck in places.

[Tom Griswold]

Tough.

[Chick McGee]

Well, we're going to come back to things stuck in places because it's time now to check in with ace cosby. Ace is back into. Ace, I know you're not in full voice yet, but let's give it a shot.

[Tom Griswold]

Here you go.

[Bob Kevoian]

Here he is with his joke of the day.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, willie.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, ace.

[Josh Arnold]

Been traveling a lot. Yeah. What state is known for their tiny soft drinks?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, man.

[Ace Cosby]

What state would be known for their tiny soft drinks? I can't think.

[Josh Arnold]

Mini soda.

[Ace Cosby]

There it is.

[Chick McGee]

I don't even know that.

[Josh Arnold]

Why do I hear laughing?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. More than a couple people.

[Christy Lee]

He didn't like minnesota.

[Tom Griswold]

I liked it when I first heard it in 1967.

[Josh Arnold]

Delivery.

[Chick McGee]

Now we have more things. Is this strictly. Are we strictly stuck in the rectum or have we moved on?

[Christy Lee]

We're done with the rectum. This is the u. S. Consumer product safety commission's database of emergency room visits. They've compiled these things that were stuck.

[Tom Griswold]

In orifices, But, I mean, once you've talked to rectums.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Nose isn't as interesting.

[Tom Griswold]

Where are we going about vagina?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, we take it back. Yeah, I forgot about that one.

[Ace Cosby]

Go ahead, chris.

[Christy Lee]

Of course you did. Okay. Woman came in, said she was holding.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what?

[Tom Griswold]

We need a drum roll for this or something. This is exciting.

[Christy Lee]

She was holding a pen near her vagina when the cap dislodged and stuck inside, of course.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that what happened?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, that's what she said.

[Tom Griswold]

See, here's. I wasn't jamming it in there.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

It just went in.

[Christy Lee]

Other things found inside a woman. Two pencil sharpeners.

[Ace Cosby]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that is the crank.

[Christy Lee]

Pencil sharpener.

[Josh Arnold]

What?

[Chick McGee]

Probably the handheld. Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

It can't be the ones you affix to the wall. That'd be.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, my God.

[Chick McGee]

Honey, we want to come over here.

[Tom Griswold]

And crank this for me. What do you think?

[Josh Arnold]

I'd rather not, Aunt Linda.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, remember, you can't tell your mom again.

[Josh Arnold]

Got real dark.

[Christy Lee]

A drinking cup.

[Ace Cosby]

Just say a cup.

[Tom Griswold]

As opposed to an athletic cup, I guess.

[Ace Cosby]

Was it like one of the souvenir cups that you get at the movies?

[Christy Lee]

Was it like one of those that expands and goes down like this?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, the dune cup with a big worm coming out of it.

[Josh Arnold]

I can think of Red. Red. Solo. A golf ball. If you're gonna masturbate with something, it should be solo, right?

[Tom Griswold]

A golf ball.

[Christy Lee]

A golf ball. Better than a billiard ball, I'll tell you that.

[Ace Cosby]

I didn't play with a Titleist today.

[Josh Arnold]

Hitting from the ladies. There was a joke there that I. Speaking of letters, I have to know.

[Christy Lee]

A woman came in and said a flashlight was placed in her vagina by a patient at home. Oh, wait a minute. Flashlight was placed in the vagina by patient while she was at home, but had no intention of it becoming stuck?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, no.

[Christy Lee]

You rarely do, right? Not usually.

[Josh Arnold]

In England, they call that a vagina torch.

[Tom Griswold]

Absolutely.

[Josh Arnold]

They have different words.

[Christy Lee]

Some of these things I don't get. But a drumstick.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, what are we talking about?

[Chick McGee]

Probably not the food kind. Probably the kind you play the drums with.

[Josh Arnold]

It's either a turkey leg, an ice cream cone, or a.

[Christy Lee]

What's a drumstick gonna do? It's like the size of a. I.

[Ace Cosby]

Thought drumsticks are actually huge when you look at them. Really girthy, really nice and tight.

[Tom Griswold]

I think a drumstick is real big.

[Christy Lee]

A nail polish bottle.

[Tom Griswold]

Ah.

[Christy Lee]

A camera lens cap.

[Josh Arnold]

That's weird.

[Tom Griswold]

I left the lens on the camera lens cap. Yep.

[Christy Lee]

Soap is popular. Unscented soap bar. Perfumed soap bar.

[Josh Arnold]

Wouldn't that sting?

[Christy Lee]

Soap dispenser.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, if you have sting.

[Josh Arnold]

If soap gets in there.

[Tom Griswold]

If you have a lesion.

[Christy Lee]

No, if you. I haven't.

[Tom Griswold]

Really.

[Josh Arnold]

I just assume it's soap up there.

[Tom Griswold]

Smoke. It's in your. Go ahead, Chris.

[Christy Lee]

Spatula.

[Tom Griswold]

A pancake turner.

[Bob Kevoian]

Really?

[Christy Lee]

And somehow a woman lost a screw and a coin in her vagina. I don't know how that is possible.

[Josh Arnold]

Screw and a.

[Christy Lee]

Cool.

[Josh Arnold]

What is she using it as a junk drawer.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm going to be the Phillips or flat head. That's always the way. You. I can always find the one you don't need. This is a flathead.

[Christy Lee]

All right, I'm gonna make you squirm now because this is gonna go inside your peen.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh. Oh, hey. Saving us for life. And what is this called?

[Josh Arnold]

Josh sounding sounding.

[Tom Griswold]

Putting stuff in up there. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Cell phone charger and 14 inch cord.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Christy Lee]

Huh. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I can't even put a lace through a pair of sweatpants, let alone a. For how long?

[Christy Lee]

14 inch cord is what it says here.

[Tom Griswold]

Holy heck.

[Chick McGee]

Once the cord is in, I can see it going easily down. It's just the.

[Tom Griswold]

Really.

[Chick McGee]

The charger.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, how would you move it down into.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know. Squeeze, I guess.

[Josh Arnold]

This is awful.

[Christy Lee]

Cord's a popular one. We have a USB cord. We have the cell phone charger cord. We also have. This is the, quote, ceiling fan chain in his penis hole. States. It has been there since his shower at 9 last night.

[Tom Griswold]

What I like to do, I call it. I call it the super shower. And I get in there and I get the chain from my ceiling fan. Man, you might think this is weird. No, no, no.

[Chick McGee]

He had to climb up on a ladder.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Remove the fan, remove the chain.

[Tom Griswold]

And for some reason, as he's doing this, I see him whistling.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah, sure.

[Tom Griswold]

If I pull it once, it goes real fast. Twice, it goes twice as fast. Start me up in the hole of your penis.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Boy, that's old school. I have a penis. Push button now.

[Chick McGee]

But Chick's got a remote in his phone.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, shove my phone in there.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you, Christy. Okay, what's happening?

[Christy Lee]

And authorities in California are investigating reports of birds mysteriously, quote, unquote, exploding in the Bay Area.

[Ace Cosby]

Is it because of Randy Johnson throwing pitches?

[Josh Arnold]

He's just out there.

[Tom Griswold]

If you haven't seen that, do yourself a favor, spend some time. It's an amazing video.

[Christy Lee]

According to ABC News, residents of the Richmond neighborhood claim they have found multiple dead birds in the area. The California Department of Fish and Wildlife's Wildlife Health Lab said the bird's injuries were consistent with trauma from a pallet gun, BB gun, or a slingshot.

[Josh Arnold]

Somebody is out there. Just.

[Tom Griswold]

Just kids.

[Christy Lee]

It was initially believed the birds were being electrocuted on power lines.

[Tom Griswold]

They have. Have slingshots that can cause some damage. They shoot these ball bears.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I've seen it.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. That's crazy.

[Tom Griswold]

Hell, yeah, they're.

[Josh Arnold]

They're deadly.

[Tom Griswold]

Really good.

[Chick McGee]

I think the suspect the way to find this, Find someone who spent a lot of money at a car wash on a consistent basis.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

They have motive.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

They're done.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, we got one of them right here.

[Tom Griswold]

As I understand it, it's not the bird's fault they can't control their bowels.

[Josh Arnold]

They just go.

[Christy Lee]

When was the last time you tried to potty train a bird?

[Josh Arnold]

That is interesting. You know those performance bells?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Those performance art guys that are living statues? Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

How hard do they commit to the bit if a pigeon lands on them?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, man. Do they.

[Josh Arnold]

Will they falter or let it cry?

[Ace Cosby]

If you were to just sit next to one of those guys, would they ever leave? Do they ever have to pack up? Do they wait till no one's on the corner and then they can go hide, Take the makeup off.

[Josh Arnold]

I've never seen one transition. I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I get those really creep me out.

[Christy Lee]

I. I'm not surprised.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not surprised by that. Yeah, the silver guy.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Yeah. They can't break. They can't.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a gold guy, I think.

[Josh Arnold]

Do you think it's a rookie mistake to be ace? A standing statue where eventually some old timer who does it for who's done it for 20 years goes, hey, you really want to find a bench?

[Chick McGee]

Get your knees in here.

[Christopher]

That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on itunes, Google play and stitcher for Bob and Tom. Extra. This is Christopher. Take care, everybody.

[Tom Griswold]

ABC Wednesday, Shifting Gears is back. He has arisen. Tim Allen and Kat Dennings return in television's number one new comedy.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

What? With a star studded premiere including Jenna Elfman, Nancy Travis and. Hey, buddy. A big home improvement reunion. Welcome. Oh, boy. That guy's a tool. Shifting Gears season premiere Wednesday, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.