
On today's Extra, Typing monkeys, Haunted real estate, & Uncrustables
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Tom
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.
Christopher
Welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom extra. This is Christopher. Not only is the Bob and Tom show live every weekday morning, but every afternoon. We'll give you a little extra in case you missed anything on the big show today. Typing monkeys plus haunted real estate and uncrustables all coming up in just a minute.
Tom
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.
Josh
Regular old family man. That's what I am. It's two kids. It's two kids. I'm an old man and I have two little kids. My son now is five, if you can believe that.
Bob
Man, oh man, great age.
Josh
I can't believe that he's very, very la. He has a food allergy.
Christy
Here we go.
Josh
Now it's funny because like my generation and Tom, you know what I'm talking about here is that like we didn't have food allergies, right? We would just eat peanuts and die than it was. And we get mad. These kids with their food allergies. What's the matter? Six year old with a food allergy? What, your immune System can't handle 150 years of industrial pollution pumped into your air and drinking water? Get over it, snowflake. My son's particular food allergy is to eggs, which is weird because he's half egg.
Christy
Now that is a joke.
Bob
That's a truism.
Josh
He's half egg on his mother. So anybody out there that has a kid with a food allergy, you know, you have to have something. It's called an EPI pen.
Chick
Yeah, for sure.
Josh
Which by the way, is not. It's not a pen. It has the word pen in it. It's a needle and it's not a pen. If you don't believe me, try to address an envelope with your EpiPen. You'll just put a hole in that page because it is a needle. It is a needle and it costs $650 for the needle. Now I live In Los Angeles. Okay. There are needles everywhere. They're everywhere. Oh, but none of those are good enough for my kid. He's gotta have this specific $650 needle, which, by the way, it expires. The epithet expires. My $650 needle expires. Last time I gave my kid eggs, I did it just to get my money's worth. If that thing expires on February 17th. February 16th is starting with an omelet, or as it'll be known on the day daddy saved your life.
Christopher
Now some more Bob and Tom.
Christy
This is Bob and Tom.
Chick
Extra.
Bob
And is that sports?
Christy
Yes, sir. All right, Another award winning sportscast.
Pat
This is what you partner for.
Christy
And remember, always be a good sport. Christy.
Pat
Well, scientists say a typing monkey would not be able to reproduce a Shakespearean masterpiece within the lifetime of the universe.
Chick
I knew it.
Christy
Within the lifetime of the universe.
Pat
Thought experiment known as the monkey typey Infinite monkey theorem.
Christy
Infinite monkey what?
Pat
Theorem states that a monkey randomly pressing keys on a typewriter for an infinite amount of time would eventually type out the complete works of Shakespeare purely by chance. Mathematicians from the University of Technology Sydney put the theorem to the test using the limits of our finite universe. Their calculations included the current global population of around 200,000 chimpanzees and worked off an assumed typing speed of one key every second until the end of the universe. Around one, followed by 100 zeros. And according to their results, there is about a 5% chance for a single chimp to type the word bananas in its own lifetime.
Chick
Just that one word?
Bob
Just one word.
Chick
5% chance.
Bob
Let alone Hamlet.
Chick
Yeah.
Pat
Even with all chimps enlisted, they would not be able to type out Shakespeare's works within the lifetime of the universe.
Chick
Now the real story here is these scientists know when the universe is going to end.
Bob
Yeah, there's that. They theorize.
Chick
You want to share that with us? Yeah.
Christy
And somebody probably asked and when they saw this, I have a follow up question. So you got a time on that, huh?
Bob
And I mean, everybody knows chimps. I mean, they can't type like that. I mean, Michael was Michael Jackson's monkey. Bubbles. Bubbles. I mean, he couldn't type out, help me, I'm being sodomized.
Chick
If only he could have. You think I'm wearing this diaper because I'm incontinent? No, the evidence. I'm holding everything in.
Bob
I always. That was a stupid thing that the monkeys would type Shakespeare.
Chick
I know.
Bob
What about the one monkey? The one monkey that gets all the way to Hamlet and misspells the last word. Yeah, I got another 50 billion years now to type this thing.
Chick
Oh, there's something rotten in Denmark.
Iris
You mean there's a U in color?
Chick
Yeah, sorry, you're. You didn't quite do it.
Bob
Interestingly enough.
Christy
Poor Doric.
Bob
Interestingly enough. Over. They did have one monkey was capable in just one year of getting 50 shades of gray word for word. How about that? Amazing. Really?
Chick
Yes, it's.
Bob
That spelled everything right. Made it more interesting, actually.
Pat
Literary masterpiece, wasn't it?
Chick
In half an hour, one monkey wrote out something funnier than an episode of Two Brokers.
Iris
Oh, my God.
Chick
Isn't that something? Every day they can write something funny.
Christy
They did manage to write seven seasons of the Big Bang Theory, I can tell you.
Pat
Hey, hey, hey.
Bob
A good show. What's wrong with you?
Pat
Now we're kind of wrapping up Halloween on this day after and you might want to check if you're buying a house to see if it comes with any spooky roommates. Zillow's recent state by state analysis reveals a spine chilling reality. In most states, sellers are under no obligation to disclose if their property has a haunted past, even if they're asked. It sounds like only New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts and Minnesota have legal provisions around haunted home disclosures.
Christopher
How is that legal?
Christy
Yeah, that. That does. If something. That it's.
Dave
Well, that. The difference is, is if. If somebody asked if there was a murder in the house, you absolutely have to disclose it. But they can't. But you don't have to tell them.
Iris
If it's hate that happened.
Bob
If it's haunted.
Dave
Yes.
Bob
Now in. I know in New Jersey, you have to tell them if their bodies under the cement porch.
Chick
Yes, you do.
Bob
That's. That's the sobriety say.
Christy
Nothing.
Chick
Very common.
Christy
Yeah, yeah, right.
Iris
Keep your mouth shut.
Bob
Yeah. Now do you have to.
Christy
You learn the two most important things. You don't rat on your friends and you keep your mouth shut.
Bob
Someone dies of natural causes, you don't have to. No necessarily disclose that.
Christy
I mean, what if happens if someone's.
Pat
No, you don't have to disclose.
Christy
What happens if a perfectly normal couple moves in and they get divorced.
Bob
What about that? Is that a problem?
Dave
I could haunt a house.
Christy
Yeah, It'll leave a mark. I know your bank.
Dave
What about if there's a birth? Would you have to disclose that? There used to be houses there. I mean, there used to be people that would give birth in their home.
Chick
I would rather buy a house where somebody died. Died. Then gave a disgusting birth.
Iris
I had somebody Die in the house I was in.
Pat
Really?
Iris
Yeah.
Bob
You claim there was a ghost in the house, right?
Iris
I claimed that there was a smell at quarter of 12 of cinnamon.
Bob
A.m. or p.m. at night.
Iris
Quarter of 12 at night. Yeah.
Chick
That's really something, that is.
Iris
Yeah, it's true.
Christy
So let me get this straight. Your contention is no. There used to be a Cinnabon where you live. Is that. Was that.
Pat
No.
Iris
There was a smell of cinnamon in the air a quarter of 12. And I asked many questions. And my neighbor goes, well, man, you don't know what happened.
Chick
Were you on the phone? You moved the ovens, but you didn't move the pastries. You moved the.
Bob
So what was this coming from inside the house? Was the guy murdered there?
Iris
Someone hanged himself on New Year's Eve? Yeah, New Year's Eve.
Christy
Yet I say that's the time to do it.
Pat
Boy, New Year's Eve.
Iris
Yeah, in the kitchen.
Christy
The more dramatic the better. You know me.
Iris
And they made cinnamon rolls.
Christy
No, every. Don't try to stop me.
Bob
That's creepy.
Pat
He made the cinnamon rolls in on them.
Iris
No, no, that. That part.
Bob
Well, but if you.
Christy
If you know cinnamon rolls. 1 1st cinnamon rolls don't seem to me to be a no.
Pat
What do you think they usually make you happy?
Bob
Well, tell me. What? Tell me whatever it is so I can grab it quickly to end this conversation.
Chick
Maybe a hot pretzel bottle and pills.
Iris
Maybe is a nice.
Bob
This does. So your neighbor told you.
Iris
They told me.
Bob
Yeah.
Iris
What? What? Tease. There's a lot lot went on in that house.
Christy
Wow.
Iris
Before you the. The. The tenant.
Bob
Right before. See, that's what you should have to disclose, by the way. Not ghosts. Yeah, but you should have to disclose, hey, my neighbor is a booger eating hillbilly moron that cuts his grass Sunday mornings at seven. That's what's the thing. I'd like that. Nikita keeps six cars on blocks in the front yard.
Chick
Christy, you've been a realtor?
Pat
Yes, sir.
Chick
I bet there have been times where you show up an hour before an open house and just. You just want to go over to some of the neighbor's houses and goes, will you please stay inside? I mean, that has to be.
Christy
Oh yeah.
Chick
Please don't come out.
Pat
You can't. Obviously can't do. Yeah. Open houses are not the way to go. That's not my favorite thing.
Bob
Do you. Would you light candles and stuff?
Pat
Yes. That's a big deal.
Bob
Now, do you allow people to use the toilet facility while looking at this conversation?
Chick
I don't remember the answer.
Christy
I tell you this, I ain't buying this place until I mark my territory, I can tell you that.
Pat
Right. My very, very first open house right over here, actually, right near where we're sitting. And I was green as, you know, green under the gills. And I had a gentleman come in and go upstairs and use the facility number two.
Tom
Yeah.
Pat
And not flush. Oh, yeah.
Christy
Good lord.
Bob
Was that purposefully?
Chick
That sounds like it.
Pat
Yeah. I think it was some kind of.
Bob
A weird fetish probably.
Dave
Did you have a serial visitor? I had a friend who was a real estate agent and they knew of a guy who would come to different open houses just to get in the panty drawers.
Josh
What?
Pat
Yeah, no, I definitely. Yeah.
Christy
According to Matthew Perry's book, he would go to open houses and go through medicine cabinets, man, see what he could find.
Chick
That's a problem.
Dave
Yeah.
Chick
Yeah.
Christy
Oh, yeah.
Chick
Now, when I was shopping for homes, I turned on every faucet, flushed every toilet and turned on the showers.
Pat
Yeah. That's a good thing to do.
Iris
Okay.
Bob
Yeah.
Chick
Yeah. But I did not use them. Not poop.
Pat
But I have. Have you thought though, wouldn't it be nice to be able to take a shower in a house you're looking for at before you move in there?
Iris
Yeah.
Pat
Yeah.
Bob
Why?
Pat
I think you've always said it'd be nice to be able to spend the night in. In the house one night before you actually made an offer.
Josh
Yeah.
Bob
Because you always find there's always that one thing, right?
Pat
Yeah.
Bob
You know, for some inexplicable reason, at a quarter to one, you hear screaming, I'm being savagely murdered.
Chick
You know what?
Bob
I'm here by myself.
Pat
You know what I try before you buy things?
Christy
No, that's gonna happen so often you won't even notice it.
Chick
You'll get just muted.
Pat
You'll get used to or highway noise or traffic when you're coming home from work. I mean, there are all kinds of variables.
Bob
Yeah. Or someone who had five cats that they let poop in the crawl space.
Pat
That was that. I remember that.
Christy
You know what? Gross part of me thinks that you have always wanted to tell the ultimate story to someone so they would be shocked and dismayed and they'd remember it for the rest of their lives. That story affected me in that way. I will never forget that story.
Bob
And the lesson is never waive the inspection.
Pat
Exactly Right. And I'll. I can walk in a house and immediately smell cat. I don't care what.
Bob
When I looked at it, they had 50 candles going.
Pat
Well, I didn't Think.
Bob
Oh, they were. They're hiding something. That was a long siege. Now you guys are eating uncrustables because they were in the news yesterday and.
Christy
Christy took a bite and peanut butter squirted all over her pants.
Pat
Sure did. My shirt. My pants.
Bob
And you've had worse.
Chick
Why did you scream, give me all.
Iris
You got, big boy. Yeah, that was a weird.
Chick
Yeah, that was Pavlovian.
Christy
And then one of those things you went, oh, don't do that.
Iris
First time I've ever done this.
Chick
No, you're wasting it.
Bob
Let's do a test of a. A test of. From Ms. Hooker.
Christy
For me.
Bob
Ms. Hooker, please.
Dave
Yeah, yeah.
Bob
Uncrustables. Do you know who makes them?
Dave
Smuckers.
Bob
Smuckers. Very good. You were paying attention. And what, what are the Smuckers people? What state are they located in?
Dave
Smucker's brothers are.
Christy
That's right. They used to have a TV show.
Dave
Yeah, yeah, Brothers like best. Nebraska, I don't.
Pat
Colorado.
Bob
Orville, Ohio.
Dave
Oh, that's right. Home of Bobby Knight, Ace new.
Bob
And they're building a third factory. That's how popular the Uncrustables are. They're about to hit a billion dollars in sales. Good news for Smuckers.
Christy
Adding a third trick.
Bob
And it. And the only reason I bring it up again is because it happens to be one of Chick's finest impressions. The old commercial for Smuckers with an.
Christy
Ablike Smuckers uncrossed boss. It's gotta be good.
Josh
It's getting better.
Iris
It's getting better. It's getting more nuanced.
Christy
Holy hell.
Pat
During the break, our producer Hoffy made us uncrustables in the air fryer and.
Bob
Then immediately got criticized by Josh.
Pat
Didn't care for him.
Chick
He buttered them and put them in the air fryer. And I know we've gotten a lot of emails, people suggesting this. It's my least favorite way to eat an uncrustable.
Dave
I would like to try a ham and cheese uncrustable. That way.
Chick
That's what you do.
Christy
Wait a minute. There are ham and cheese uncrustables.
Dave
You can make any uncrustable when you have your own machine.
Pat
Yes, thank you very much.
Bob
Yeah, see again, again, instead of using the store bought, we have Jackson.
Dave
I care about our children.
Pat
We have Christy.
Bob
I only use grass fed uncrustables.
Pat
Are you talking right now?
Dave
I know, honey. You better be careful.
Bob
These are all jokes, folks.
Christy
He carries on all the same way that he, that he criticizes. Look at that guy. With that bald head.
Pat
I guarantee you that little Pampered Chef crimper thing is one of the most popular items.
Bob
Once again, Christy has her own home uncrutchable thing along with. That's the thing that cures polio legs.
Christy
That's right.
Bob
You throw the crutch away just like little Tiny Tim.
Pat
Where's my Uncle Daddy?
Chick
I find Pampered Chef products to be fantastic.
Pat
They are great.
Chick
I have a egg poacher. That is just wonderful. 45 seconds. You have a great poached egg.
Christy
Hey, Tom, did you hear that? Josh has an egg poaching machine.
Iris
He says Pampered Chef is fantastic.
Christy
That's what he said.
Chick
I was. I wanted to play angry song.
Bob
What do they. What do they have in the. What do they have in the pizza realm?
Pat
A pizza stone. That's incredible.
Dave
Yes, Celeste.
Bob
Pizza stone.
Dave
Huh?
Christy
Yes, Pizza stone and a poaching machine.
Chick
I don't eat that much pizza.
Bob
Am I.
Christy
Are you happy?
Bob
He's losing it. Have I ruined pizza for you? Now? If you. If you order. Are you afraid that the. The delivery guy is going to say, I figured it was you? Yes.
Chick
There are things I can't do because I can't. When I go to Costco, everybody's trying samples. I can't eat them.
Dave
Are you afraid somebody's gonna snap a picture?
Christy
Yes.
Pat
Are you serious?
Chick
Because I know somebody will walk by. Well, there's Josh. Of course he's eating the samples.
Iris
Well, Tom, didn't you catch Josh at the grocery store, though?
Bob
Yes, at the worst time. One time I was at the grocery store, I saw Josh. I snuck up behind him, and he had a. He had a grocery cart with like 40 boxes of some chocolate thing.
Chick
I had three boxes of chocodiles because my. They were unavailable in St. Louis and I was shipping them to a.
Bob
Sure you were.
Chick
Yes, I kept one box for me.
Pat
Okay, that's fair.
Chick
But the rest were being shipped. But here comes Tom. Of course I have a shopping cart full of chocolate.
Bob
I, of course, was buying organic celery.
Chick
He was laughing. Tom was laughing so hard.
Bob
Take all security. When I started taking pictures.
Pat
So.
Bob
I'm sorry. So you guys both have a homemade uncrustable machine?
Pat
I'll bring it in on Monday and we'll wait till you can step on it.
Bob
I would prefer the. The store bought.
Pat
You don't even eat the store bought.
Bob
Well, I'm hoping that maybe the uncrustable people will hear this and send us a case to try. How many. How many flavors do they have?
Pat
Oh, they have strawberry and the grape honey. They have white. They have wheat bread, peanut butter and jelly.
Dave
Do they have Savory? Do they have sandwiches?
Chick
Not that I'm aware of.
Iris
They should.
Pat
Hey, Uncrustable also has a hazelnut spread. Like a Nutella.
Chick
Oh, keep it.
Bob
Yeah, you can make another.
Pat
You don't like Nutella?
Chick
I hate Nutel. Hey, your brain thinks this is going to be chocolate? Nope.
Pat
Chocolate flavored hazelnut spread.
Chick
Chocolate flavored chocolate.
Christy
Why don't they just. Yes, why don't they just. Hazelnut? No, chocolate.
Josh
Yeah.
Christy
Yeah, chocolate.
Christopher
That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on itunes, Google play and Stitcher. For Bob and Tom Extra, this is Christopher. Take care, everybody.
Tom
Named one of the best personal finance podcasts, the Stacking Benjamin show with Joe and his friends makes financial literacy fun.
Bob
Draymond Green has a podcast.
Iris
He was asking Mark Cuban why, at the beginning of 2024, Cuban sold a.
Pat
Huge part of his company.
Josh
He's like, did you see how much money I got?
Bob
I'm sure there's a more graceful answer than that, but dude, I bought it.
Chick
For 200 million and sold it for 6 billion. Like, what the heck?
Bob
Of course, I don't think it was.
Chick
That much more graceful than that.
Tom
Find out more by searching the Stacking Benjamins podcast wherever you listen.
Podcast Summary: B&T Extra: Typing Monkeys, Haunted Real Estate, & Uncrustables
Release Date: December 25, 2024
Host: The BOB & TOM Show | Cumulus Podcast Network
Episode Title: B&T Extra: Typing Monkeys, Haunted Real Estate, & Uncrustables
The episode kicks off with brief mentions of Progressive Insurance sponsorships, which are seamlessly integrated into the conversation without detracting from the main content. These segments are strategically placed to maintain listener engagement while providing necessary disclosures.
Timestamp: 01:20 - 03:28
Josh opens the discussion by sharing his experiences as a father of two, emphasizing the challenges of managing his five-year-old son's egg allergy. His candid and humorous approach sets the tone for a relatable conversation about modern parenting and health concerns.
The conversation delves into the complexities of managing food allergies, particularly the reliance on EpiPens. Josh humorously critiques the design and cost of EpiPens, highlighting the frustrations many parents face.
The hosts collectively express empathy and shared experiences, making the segment both informative and entertaining. The discussion underscores the importance of preparedness and accessibility in handling allergic reactions.
Timestamp: 03:49 - 06:16
Transitioning smoothly, the hosts pivot to a scientific and philosophical topic: the Infinite Monkey Theorem. Pat introduces the concept, sparking a lively debate about its feasibility within the constraints of our finite universe.
Chick and Bob engage in a humorous back-and-forth, questioning the practicality of monkeys typing out complex literature. They playfully mock the idea, referencing pop culture and fictional scenarios to illustrate their points.
Chick:
"I knew it."
(03:58)
Bob:
"That's a truism."
(03:24)
The hosts discuss a study by mathematicians from the University of Technology Sydney, which concludes a mere 5% chance for a single chimp to randomly type the word "bananas" within its lifetime. This discussion balances scientific insight with comedic relief, keeping listeners both informed and entertained.
The segment concludes with reflections on the improbability of such an event, reinforcing the whimsical nature of the theorem while highlighting human curiosity about randomness and creativity.
Timestamp: 06:08 - 10:26
As the conversation shifts to real estate, the hosts explore the eerie topic of haunted properties. Pat raises concerns about undisclosed hauntings during property transactions, prompting a spirited debate on legal obligations and personal experiences.
Christy and Dave discuss the legal nuances, noting that only a handful of states like New York and Massachusetts require disclosures of such paranormal histories. The dialogue blends humor with genuine curiosity about the intersection of real estate law and supernatural phenomena.
Iris shares a personal anecdote about experiencing unexplained cinnamon smells in a house, suggesting possible hauntings. The hosts speculate on various scenarios, from tragic events to mundane explanations, maintaining a lighthearted yet intrigued tone.
Christy emphasizes the importance of thorough inspections and the unpredictable nature of home-buying, concluding with a humorous takeaway: "The lesson is never waive the inspection."
(12:38)
Timestamp: 12:42 - 18:15
The final segment delves into the popular subject of Uncrustables, the beloved pre-packaged sandwiches. The hosts discuss innovative ways to enjoy Uncrustables, such as using air fryers, and humorously critique each other's culinary experiments.
Pat narrates an amusing mishap involving Uncrustables, setting the stage for a comedic exploration of the product's versatility and potential pitfalls.
The conversation turns to the manufacturing side, with Bob highlighting Smucker's significant sales milestone and their expansion plans.
The hosts engage in playful banter over homemade versus store-bought Uncrustables, each advocating for their preferred preparation methods while poking fun at one another's choices.
The segment also touches on product variety, with discussions about different Uncrustables flavors and the possibility of savory options, reflecting the hosts' genuine interest and enthusiasm for the topic.
As the episode wraps up, the hosts seamlessly transition to promotional mentions of related podcasts and upcoming content, ensuring a smooth conclusion to a lively and engaging discussion.
The episode of B&T Extra successfully weaves together diverse topics—from personal anecdotes about food allergies to whimsical scientific theories, eerie real estate tales, and the delightful world of Uncrustables. Through a blend of humor, relatable experiences, and insightful commentary, the hosts create a rich and engaging narrative that caters to a wide audience. Notable quotes punctuate the conversation, adding depth and memorability to each segment, making the episode both entertaining and informative for listeners.
For more episodes and exclusive content, subscribe to the BOB & TOM VIP podcast at BobAndTom.com/VIP.