The BOB & TOM Show Extra: "Soap Talk & Artificial Tongues"

Date: September 17, 2025
Hosts & Guests: Tom Griswold, Bob Kevoian, Kristi Lee, Chuck, Donnie Baker

Overview

In this Bob & Tom Extra episode, the crew brings their trademark comedic banter to two weird and wonderful topics: a nationwide recall of potentially dangerous hand soaps ("Soap Talk") and a new scientific development—an artificial tongue capable of "tasting" and learning flavors ("Artificial Tongues"). The show is laced with classic Bob & Tom humor, offbeat anecdotes, and playful ribbing, keeping the tone lively even as they touch on serious news and science.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Donnie Baker's Take on Marriage

[02:06 - 04:37]

• Donnie fields a listener question about why he's never married, using his irreverent humor and wild storytelling.
• Compares marriage to "a scratch-off ticket" and recounts tales of heartbreak and revenge.
• Memorable story involving lighter fluid, bug zappers, and failed relationships.
• Punchline analogies: “I love Funyuns, but some days I get a craving for Andy Capp’s hot fries.”
• “I’m like a mustang on the open range. Nobody’s fencing me in.”

Notable Quote:

"If I wanted to do that, I'd go back to juvie. I hate being locked down. I swear to God I do."
— Donnie Baker [02:24]

2. Soap Recall and Hand Hygiene

[04:45 - 13:19]

Nationwide Hand Soap Recall

• Tom brings up the recall of Derma Right Industries' foaming hand soap due to contamination with Pseudomonas aeruginosa bacteria, which can cause severe or even deadly infections.
• The affected products were sold between December 2023 and May 2024.
• Banter about questionable branding (misspelled “Kleen” and “Right”) and distrust of companies that misspell “clean.”
• Chuck jokes, “Sounds like the name of a really pretentious alt-rock band—Pseudomonas Aeruginosa.”

Notable Quotes:

"That's the opposite of what you want from your soap, right?"
— Kristi Lee [04:55]
"Wouldn't regular soap be okay? ...Not for your perineum."
— Bob Kevoian & Chuck [07:16]

Special Soaps & Bar Soap Preferences

• Dialogue about niche soaps, including a perineal cleanser ("the taint").

• Discussion of bar versus liquid soaps; Bob swears by Ivory bars, Chuck offers microwave-melting hacks.

• Running joke about bar soap accidents:

  “Every once in a while it accidentally slips all the way in. You know what I’m talking about?”
  — Bob Kevoian [08:05]

• Soap sack (“washcloth material all around”) discussed by Kristi.

• Team reveals their quirks: Kristi’s soap sack, scented versus unscented, and frequency of changing soap accessories.

• “True men don’t wipe, they just wait until they shower.” [10:23]

Handwashing Etiquette

• Debate about washing hands before or after using the restroom, especially after eating spicy foods ("chili pepper down there”).
• Comedic worry about sensitivity and soap stinging in private regions.

3. The Artificial Tongue

[14:18 - 16:44]

• Tom introduces new research: an artificial tongue that detects and "learns" chemical compounds, identifying flavors with up to 96% accuracy in complex drinks (coffee, Coke).
• Kristi inquires about medical application (e.g., tongue implants), but it’s clarified this is for industrial/diagnostic use, not medical prosthetics.

Notable Quotes:

“Artificial tongue sounds like a Shakespearean thing.”
— Bob Kevoian [15:35]

• Playful sci-fi and medieval jokes: "The king no longer needs a taster!" [16:00]

Hypothetical Dilemma

• Kristi is asked: If her husband could only keep his tongue or his penis due to a medical parasite, which would she pick?
• Chuck immediately jokes: “Cut her tongue out, please. Just cut it out.” [16:48]
• The segment takes a deeply silly and risqué turn, typical of Bob & Tom show humor.

4. Unusual Ways to Make Money: OnlyFans "Fartist"

[17:34 - 22:03]

• News story about Kristy ("Kirsty Farts") from Wales, who earns $3,100/month recording herself farting for subscribers—mostly Americans—on OnlyFans.
  • Includes farting into perfume and on brushes.
• Laughs about suggested names (e.g., "fartist," "Mary Fartman," "Flatulencer"), and puns about farting in thongs and different items.
• Speculation on customer requests and content niches.

Notable Quotes:

“She could be doing worse.”
— Kristi Lee [19:23]
“If you wear a thong, does that divide it when it comes out? What is farting in a thong like, Christy?”
— Bob Kevoian [20:29]

Memorable Moments & Quotes

• Bar Soap Accidents:
  “Every once in a while it accidentally slips all the way in. You know what I’m talking about?”
  — Bob Kevoian [08:05]
• Handwashing Debate:
  “True men don’t wipe. They just wait until they shower.”
  — Chuck [10:23]
• Artificial Tongue Shakepeare Gag:
  “Don’t trust Dafman, he speak with artificial tongue.”
  — Bob Kevoian [15:35]
• Fartist Name Game:
  “Flatulencer.”
  — Bob Kevoian [21:20]

Timestamps for Major Segments

• Donnie Baker’s Take on Marriage: [02:06 – 04:37]
• Soap Recall News: [04:45 – 13:19]
• Handwashing & Soap Banter: [08:00 – 13:19]
• Artificial Tongue: [14:18 – 16:44]
• OnlyFans Fartist & Name Puns: [17:34 – 22:03]

Tone & Style

The episode maintains the classic, irreverent humor for which The BOB & TOM Show is known. The banter is quick and sarcastic, with a flair for the absurd—yet occasionally drops in genuine health advice or social commentary, always lightened with a joke.

For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode dives into bizarre health headlines and even stranger side hustles, all through the lens of the Bob & Tom crew’s comedy. From soap that makes you sick to artificial tongues and OnlyFans fart stars, nothing is too odd or taboo for a riff. Listeners are treated to sharp wit, wordplay, and the kind of locker-room humor that keeps the BOB & TOM Show a mainstay in comedic radio.