B&T Extra: Comedian Sam Miller

Summary

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The BOB & TOM Show Extra: Comedian Sam Miller

Date: July 7, 2026
Main Guest: Sam Miller (Comedian)
Panelists: Tom Griswold, Jess Hooker, Pat Godwin, Josh Arnold, Ace Cosby, Chick Magee, Christopher

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Episode Overview

This episode of the BOB & TOM Show Extra centers on a lively, candid, and often hilarious conversation with comedian Sam Miller. The panel, as always, jumps between sincere and silly, covering Sam’s journey from homelessness and recovery to his comedy career, his passions and personal life, and the never-ending debate about tattoos and haircuts. Sam shares raw and entertaining stories, showcasing his unique perspective, quick wit, and self-deprecating humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Sam Miller: Life, Comedy, and Sobriety

• Physical Presence & Openness
  • Tom introduces Sam as a “man of a certain size,” to which Sam responds with honesty:
    • Quote: “I am six foot six. I am £360. 370…But I’ve been doing cardio [...], just my legs are bigger and my middle is the same size.” (02:25 - 02:40)
• Marriage & Monogamy
  • Sam jokes about being “very married” and steers clear of polyamory due to his math skills (“One on one, baby. That’s what I’m looking for.” (03:11))
• Sobriety & Tattoos as Milestones
  • Sam’s tattoos track significant moments:
    • Gun tattoo (mistake), seagull (inside joke about a sobriety rumor), Capitol Theater sign (site of his last night being homeless and later recording his comedy album)
    • Quote: “The Capitol Theater...that’s the theater that I woke up in front of on June 10, 2008, my last day homeless. And also where I recorded my debut comedy album. How cool is that? Same theater.” (05:34 - 05:49)
• Fun with Housing and Definitions
  • Recounts living in a barn (“They didn’t want me in the house, so it’s like, ‘Go to the barn,’ I was like, ‘Like Jesus. Like, what a deal.’” (07:41 - 07:44)), and jokes about modern euphemisms like “temporarily unhoused” or “houseless.”
  • Reflections on types and perceptions of homelessness from his time working in a shelter: “There’s a lot of different types of homeless folks. A lot of reasons people get homeless, so I get it. But also, I don’t care what people mean.” (08:36 - 08:48)

The Group on Tattoos: Regrets, Removals & Face Tats

• Tattoos as Conversation
  • Jess grills Sam about his gun tattoo, leading to a story about covering it up at a preschool job (“...they made me wear a sock on my arm. The kids would be like, ‘What’s wrong with your arm?’ I was like, ‘I got a boo boo.’” (04:32 - 04:44))
  • Discussion veers to Jess’s removal of finger tattoos—a college “Fu Manchu” gag that cost ~$1,200 to erase (10:55 - 11:24), plus ongoing sleeve removal, highlighting the permanence and cost of tattoos.
• Face Tattoo Culture
  • Sam’s take on why he won’t go there: “I got a cool face.” (13:04 - 13:12)
  • Stories about seeing face tattoos become mainstream, especially from friends returning from prison.
• Tattoos as Personal History
  • Sam on not removing his own: “It’s a good reminder of, like, kind of like the person I was and who I was trying to be and who I’m not anymore and who I am.” (11:53 - 12:10)

Tattoos and Body Image

• Big Love, Big Tattoos
  • Sam warmly discusses his admiration for big women:
    • Quote: “I love big women. That’s what I’m into...They got more room for tattoos, you know, larger canvas.” (13:39 - 13:48)
  • About his wife: “She is, and I love it. She rules. She’s large...I’ve always been a romantic, too.” (13:54 - 13:58)
  • Sam’s approach to sharing a bath with “the big lady”—apply Archimedes’ principle (“Don’t put too much water in there”). (14:08 - 14:14)
  • Details about his wife’s tattoos, including a pinup nurse (for motherhood) and a Gilda Radner Friday-the-13th tattoo. (15:32 - 16:03)

Cleaning, Clothing, and Survival

• Homeless Hygiene, Sam-Style
  • Shares his system: “All I wore was overalls and football cleats, and I would just jump in the lake—like my whole self...” (09:43 - 09:56)
  • Even his cleats became “regular shoes” over time.

Haircuts, Judgments, and Panel Banter

• Sam on Haircuts & Acceptance
  • Sam sincerely says: “I’m a great guy because I love all haircuts.” (17:02 - 17:04)
• Tom on Modern Hairstyles
  • Tom rants against shaved sides and “pixie” cuts (“Guys look like they’re poodles. Ridiculous. They’re in the Hitler youth.” (17:10 - 17:19))
• Panelists Debate Hair Freedom
  • Jess and Pat poke fun at Tom’s obsession with haircuts and his own lack of hair; Sam and others agree people should rock what they want.
  • Jess: “Are you going to ever admit how preoccupied you are with hair and haircuts because you’re bald?” (18:28 - 18:38)
• Sam’s Sideburn Observations
  • On Tom: “It looks like those little kid hats that you tie at the bottom.” (18:52 - 18:57)

Memorable Pop Culture References

• Sam and the group recall Joe Flaherty (SCTV, Happy Gilmore), Gilda Radner, Sigourney Weaver (Aliens), and archly joke about Homeless Jesus, “Will Hunting,” and body positivity icons.
• Trivia: Jess’s Fu Manchu tattoo, Sam’s Olympia theater story, and the group's SCTV/Count Floyd/Gilda Radner homage.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Polyamory:

  • Sam: “I have a hard time with math, so I just. One on one, baby.” (03:11)

• On Sobriety Journey:

  • Sam: “I woke up under a tarp with a homeless lady. We were doing tarp stuff. Oh, I’m not gonna go into details.” (06:34 - 06:41)

• On Tattoos as Growth:

  • Sam: “It’s a good reminder of the person I was and who I’m not anymore and who I am.” (11:53 - 12:10)

• On Big Love:

  • Sam: “I like big women. That’s what I’m into.” (13:54 - 13:58)

• On Modern Hairstyles:

  • Tom: “Guys look like they’re poodles. Ridiculous. They’re in the Hitler youth.” (17:10 - 17:19)

• Panel Values:

  • Sam: “I’m a great guy because I love all haircuts.” (17:02)
  • Jess: “Are you going to ever admit how preoccupied you are with hair and haircuts because you’re bald?” (18:28)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Sam’s Size & Cardio Routine: 02:25 - 02:40
• Marriage & Monogamy: 02:51 - 03:17
• Tattoos: Origin & Regrets: 04:30 - 06:10
• Homelessness, Sobriety, and Temporary Housing: 06:34 - 09:02
• Panel’s Tattoo Removals: 10:51 - 11:36
• Face Tattoos & Prison Stories: 12:17 - 13:12
• Body Size, Love, and Sam’s Wife: 13:48 - 16:03
• Pop Culture & Reflections (Joe Flaherty, SCTV): 16:04 - 16:38
• Haircuts and Baldness Banter: 17:02 - 18:57

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Tone & Style

The panel is fast-paced, irreverent, and warm, vacillating between affectionate ribbing and thoughtful reflection. Sam Miller stands out for his humility, openness, and sharp humor, and the group’s comic chemistry creates both laughs and moments of insight.

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For Listeners:

This episode is a great snapshot of why the Bob & Tom Show excels at mixing “serious funny” with the absurd—drawing on real-life stories and gags alike. Sam Miller’s journey is treated with both humor and heart, while the panel’s banter reveals as much about themselves as their guest. If you love stories about resilience, regrettable tattoos, and the way comedians see the world, don’t miss this one.

Transcript

[Christopher]

Welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom extra. This is Christopher. Not only is the Bob and Tom show live every weekday morning, but every afternoon we'll give you a little extra. In case you missed anything on the big show today, comedian Sam Miller. He's coming up in just a minute.

[Tom Griswold]

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[Sam Miller]

If you missed something yesterday, maybe you'll hear it now. This is Bob and Tom. Extra.

[Jess Hooker]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show at the news desk. It's Jess Hooker.

[Pat Godwin]

Hello.

[Jess Hooker]

There's Pat Godwin in the performance room.

[Christopher]

Hey, A.J.

[Jess Hooker]

josh Arnold is here at the sidekick chair.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi, Jer.

[Jess Hooker]

There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick Magee. And here's Tom Griswold with our very special guest.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, thank you very much. We are joined in the studio by comedian Sam Miller. If you. How do I word this? You can't see Sam. Sam is a man of a certain size.

[Jess Hooker]

Unless you're watching YouTube.

[Tom Griswold]

A big fella. You could see him on the YouTube. That's right, the Bobbittom YouTube channel. How tall are you, Sam?

[Sam Miller]

I am six foot six. I am £360. 370.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Sam Miller]

Right now.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, okay.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, But I've been doing cardio.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. And it's working. It's just my legs are bigger and my middle is the same size.

[Josh Arnold]

Sure. You gain Some of that muscle you. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's good to see you. And now, by way of background, you are. Now you're a married man, Is this correct?

[Sam Miller]

Very married.

[Jess Hooker]

Very married.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, I'm really good at being married. Um, it's really easy. I'm not into that. A lot of people are into the poly stuff.

[Pat Godwin]

I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

Poly.

[Sam Miller]

Multiple.

[Christopher]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

Polyamorous.

[Jess Hooker]

Like. Like a throuple, Tom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Three people.

[Tom Griswold]

No, thanks. Thruffle? No, no, no, no.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. I have a hard time with math, so I just. One on one, baby. That's what I'm looking for.

[Pat Godwin]

No zone defense. Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Stay focused.

[Sam Miller]

No, no, but that's great to be back. Thank you for.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll check in with you in a matter of moments. I want to get a couple quick news headlines sitting in, as you can see. For Christy Lee, it's Jess Hooker. Looking good today, Jess.

[Jess Hooker]

Thanks, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

There was some implication that I was saying, suggesting you had a lot of work done. I was referring to your house, not to your house.

[Pat Godwin]

Right, right, right. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Work on our place.

[Tom Griswold]

There we go. Now, yesterday, we had a fascinating story about a guy that had a ruler tattooed on his finger.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes, we did.

[Tom Griswold]

He must have been a carpenter or something.

[Josh Arnold]

He was a navyman, wasn't he?

[Pat Godwin]

Yes. You worked on the ships.

[Josh Arnold]

Navyman, yeah. Navyman.

[Jess Hooker]

Is that what they call.

[Josh Arnold]

Absolutely.

[Tom Griswold]

Seaman.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. Oh, they like to be called navum.

[Tom Griswold]

So he. But I thought it was interesting he was able to be handy. If you were a carpenter.

[Jess Hooker]

Don't you think people with tattoos are just generally filthy. Filthy, filthy people. Right.

[Sam Miller]

I don't trust.

[Jess Hooker]

I noticed that you have a tattoo of an AK on your right arm. Is that it?

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, that was a mistake.

[Jess Hooker]

I tell you, I hate tattoos. Tattoos. And I hate them who wear them.

[Tom Griswold]

A chick has.

[Jess Hooker]

I'm showing.

[Sam Miller]

I got this gun tattoo to look tough. And then after I got sober, I got a job at a preschool, and they. They made me wear a sock on my arm.

[Josh Arnold]

Like Mick Foley.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. And the kids would.

[Josh Arnold]

The kids would be like, what's wrong with your arm?

[Sam Miller]

And I was like, I got a boo boo.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, you should have totally turned that into a puppet. That would have been a puppet time.

[Josh Arnold]

And it's a. There's a hand grenade as well.

[Sam Miller]

There's. Yeah, yeah. I used to have, like, a temper.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah,

[Sam Miller]

yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

What about the fish? What's on the other arm?

[Sam Miller]

Well, I wanted the other arm to be chill because the balance.

[Tom Griswold]

I can't see.

[Sam Miller]

Daisy. Okay, yeah, that's cool.

[Tom Griswold]

Looks like a big, big fish. And have you gotten any tattoos since your well publicized sobriety?

[Sam Miller]

I got. Yeah, I got the seagull on my. My new ones that I got since I've been on the show. I got a seagull on my knee.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay.

[Sam Miller]

Because I have a jo. I used to do about how when I got sober, there was a rumor going around that I was eating seagull eggs, but it's not true. I never ate seagull eggs. That's a rumor.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay.

[Sam Miller]

And I also just got the Capitol Theater signed from Olympia, Washington. And that's the theater that I woke up in front of On June 10, 2008, my last day, homeless. And also where I recorded my debut comedy album. How cool is that? Same theater.

[Tom Griswold]

So now where's that one?

[Sam Miller]

That's in Olympia, Washington.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no, on your body.

[Sam Miller]

Where's the tattoo? Yeah, I also got the tattoo in Olympia. And no, it's on my leg. And it's still, like, it's still healing. It's still. It still hurts a little bit.

[Jess Hooker]

That's a. That's a Netflix movie waiting to happen, right?

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, yeah, I'm still waiting for the call.

[Tom Griswold]

You woke up homeless on the street in your own vomit.

[Sam Miller]

No, no, no.

[Josh Arnold]

No

[Sam Miller]

idea.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm making this movie.

[Jess Hooker]

Could have.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, that's good.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I, like, didn't Jimi Hendrix die

[Jess Hooker]

choking on his own, but he didn't wake up? Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Then no wonder. It wouldn't be such a good movie, would it?

[Sam Miller]

No, I. I woke up under a tarp with a homeless lady. We were doing tarp stuff. Oh, I'm not gonna go into details.

[Jess Hooker]

Hey, Pat, you like the tarps?

[Pat Godwin]

I was gonna say you don't have to be homeless to do tarp stuff.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, you could do blanket stuff. You could.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, but I was. I always tell folks, like, I was homeless too, so it wasn't that weird at all.

[Pat Godwin]

Right.

[Sam Miller]

It would have been weird if I woke up with, like, a middle class lady.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Or vice versa. If.

[Pat Godwin]

If you were out for tarps and

[Tom Griswold]

weren't, you know, some preppy frat guys. Well, you know, banging a homeless babe at the front of the gutter.

[Jess Hooker]

You know how this works. You know how this show works.

[Josh Arnold]

You know when you say like that, it's not as hot as.

[Sam Miller]

You really killed the vibe.

[Jess Hooker]

You know, there's some housewife out there right now. That's her thing is banging a homeless guy.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Maybe she just has husband dress up like that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I doubt it.

[Josh Arnold]

Better possible. No, you know, it's out there, I guarantee you. Well, how long were you homeless, Sam?

[Sam Miller]

It was. It's complicated because I lived in a barn for a while.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Sam Miller]

But I guess that sounds nice. Well, it's still technically homeless.

[Tom Griswold]

Was anyone aware that you were living in the barn?

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, because they didn't want me in the house.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, right.

[Sam Miller]

They were like, go to the barn. I was like. Like, Jesus. Like, what a deal.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you sleep in the hay or.

[Sam Miller]

No, there wasn't any hay in the barn. No, I was. I was upstairs. You know what's weird? This is a weird thing I used to do is I had a carpenter's pencil and I would write, like, math equations on the ceiling, but I don't know anything about math.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay.

[Sam Miller]

I just wanted the next person that lived in the barn to think that the other person who lived there was really smart.

[Josh Arnold]

Will Hunting?

[Sam Miller]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

No, no, no.

[Sam Miller]

I watched that Beautiful Mind movie. I was like, maybe I'm secretly a genius.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow, that's.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, didn't Patrick Swayze and Roadhouse sort of live in a bar? He didn't. Good company. Therefore, they were popular, but while were without. What do they. What do they call it now? Temporarily unhoused?

[Jess Hooker]

No, it's.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Jess Hooker]

They're houseless. They're not homeless.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Temporarily unhoused, I believe, is the current.

[Sam Miller]

I used to work at a shelter, and I get why they use those terms. Because, like, if you're like, oh, that person's homeless, and, like, that's. There's a lot of different types of homeless folks. A lot of reason people get homeless, so I get it. But also, I don't care what people mean.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, Right.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm technically homeless because I don't live in an rv, so. Right. You could be RV less.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I'm yachtless.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. I'm trailerless. So you're trying to put a positive spin on it.

[Josh Arnold]

Right now I feel we're being classless.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I think tasteless.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Sam, were you ever hit on by, like, what. What Tom was asking about, like, a. A housewife.

[Sam Miller]

I would go home with women. Yeah. Like, because.

[Jess Hooker]

There you go.

[Sam Miller]

Because, you know.

[Tom Griswold]

Did they know that you were gonna stay?

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, I tried. Every dog has his day.

[Josh Arnold]

Sure.

[Sam Miller]

You know, but usually I date these women, and it take them, like, a week and a half, and they'd be like, I've never seen his place.

[Josh Arnold]

And it's like, actually, have we just drove by?

[Tom Griswold]

That's my box.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. In a way, I have more homes than you.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

So did you. How did you Clean your clothes, you know?

[Sam Miller]

God, I can't believe I'm going to talk about this, but I used to just wear overalls. Like, I had this one summer. All I wore was overalls and football cleats, and I would just jump in the lake, like my whole self, and I. Okay, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Did you say football cleats?

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. I was a good football player in high school, and I went to my mom's house because I wore out my shoes, and all I could find was offensive lineman cleats, and I wore them until they became regular shoes. Like the cleats.

[Tom Griswold]

You wore off the cleats.

[Pat Godwin]

That is efficient.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, because cleats don't really give that kind of traction on asphalt. No, I throw in the field. Yeah, I bet.

[Tom Griswold]

So you found women that found a shirtless guy wearing overalls with a lot of BO and cleats they wanted to

[Josh Arnold]

take, and he was temporarily unclean?

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. I think they thought I was an

[Josh Arnold]

artist or a tap dancer.

[Pat Godwin]

It's true.

[Tom Griswold]

There you go.

[Sam Miller]

They were like. Or they hated their dad. I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

Either way, it worked out probably the way.

[Jess Hooker]

It's a win.

[Sam Miller]

Win.

[Tom Griswold]

Sam Miller is our guest. And I brought up the tattoo thing because you have some prominent tattoos, but Ms. Hooker has actually had a couple of tattoos removed.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And they. They were in. Well, they were on your fingers.

[Pat Godwin]

They were on my fingers, yeah. In college, I thought it would be funny to get a Fu Manchu tattooed on both of my fingers.

[Tom Griswold]

She's got a big line on the fingers.

[Pat Godwin]

You can't see it anymore. I had them removed.

[Tom Griswold]

You hold them up your mouth. Show them how you do it.

[Pat Godwin]

You do this.

[Sam Miller]

That's awesome.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. I mean, it would have been equally effective if I would have just had a sharpie and drew them on there.

[Tom Griswold]

But on the occasion of a fun party.

[Pat Godwin]

Right? Yeah. So, yeah, I had those. That. That was the first tattoo I.

[Tom Griswold]

You did have. You had them. Technically, they were removed.

[Pat Godwin]

Removed, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you mind if I ask what that cost?

[Pat Godwin]

That one was, like, I want to say, like, 12, $1500 to have. Yeah. And right now I'm in the middle of having a sleeve removed, so.

[Josh Arnold]

So that's got to be thousands.

[Jess Hooker]

It's not cheap.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no, those. Those tattoos are cheap.

[Jess Hooker]

That's why you're getting cheap and really, really hot.

[Christopher]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Sam, has anyone ever offered to. Would you want to get the. Whatever. Do you have sword gun removed?

[Sam Miller]

No. I don't know. It's a good reminder of, like, kind of like the person I was and who I was trying to be and who I'm not anymore and who I am. And also, like, I don't. If anybody ever wants to be. And I think Jake, you'll understand, like, if anybody ever wants to be, like, oh, I don't like that. Because he's got tattoos, it's like, all right, man. Peace out, dude. Like, y.

[Josh Arnold]

That's not a positive. Yeah, sure.

[Tom Griswold]

But you had the sense not to put any on your face.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That's an unfortunate trend I keep seeing.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Sam Miller]

I don't know, man. The world keeps moving forward.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't think that's you, really.

[Jess Hooker]

No, but you really have to find. You hunt to find a tattoo artist who would put something on your face.

[Sam Miller]

Oh, they.

[Pat Godwin]

Some of them don't do it.

[Jess Hooker]

Some of them apps, and they. They don't.

[Tom Griswold]

They have standards.

[Jess Hooker]

They really, like, interview you if you want to have a name. I. Yeah, they're really careful about that, too. Yeah.

[Sam Miller]

I had a friend of mine who went to prison in Northern California, and this was before face tattoos were a thing, and he came back and his whole face was tattooed. And I remember seeing him and just being like. And gasping.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Sam Miller]

But now I see it. I see it quite a lot.

[Josh Arnold]

Post Malone is kind of popularized. But you get the tattoo in prison.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, I think so. I think so. Yeah. And I don't know. I'm not going to get any tattoos on my face. I got a good. I got a cool face.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. And I. My body is going to be what it's going to be, so I should probably really focus on.

[Tom Griswold]

What did you say you're six, six feet. What is it?

[Sam Miller]

Six, six. And I'm 370 right now. I always say 360, but I'm 370. But I go. I went to the doctor. My blood pressure is good. It's not good, but it's. It's. It's safe.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

You have a lot of tattooable real estate, if you will, on your body.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Vast amounts of flesh.

[Sam Miller]

I got a joke about that, about big women, and I love big women, and it's nice because they got more room for tattoos, you know, larger canvas.

[Tom Griswold]

Is your wife a woman of a certain size?

[Sam Miller]

She is, and I love it.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Sam has told us many. He loves the bigger women.

[Tom Griswold]

She.

[Sam Miller]

She rules. She's large. I like big women. That's what I'm into. I've always been a romantic, too. You know, I like to make a little bath, like the draw a bath. But you don't put too much water in there.

[Josh Arnold]

Sure.

[Sam Miller]

With the big lady.

[Tom Griswold]

I know what you. This is Archimedes rule.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, sure.

[Jess Hooker]

That's right.

[Pat Godwin]

There you go.

[Sam Miller]

Is that our comedian?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. He was way ahead of his time. Yeah. He was bathing big beautiful women.

[Chris VanVliet]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

And he learned.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, he learned.

[Tom Griswold]

A lot of people learned that rule when they're doing that turkey thing with the deep fryer.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, sure.

[Tom Griswold]

And they put, they put the oil in and then they put the turkey in and the oil catches the house on fire because there's too much. That's Archimedes right there. So you said your wife is also a. A large lady to be kind.

[Christopher]

What.

[Tom Griswold]

How do you like to describe her? Rubeness beautiful or Rubens esque?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, she's beautiful.

[Sam Miller]

I call her beautiful and amazing and I miss her and I can't wait to get back home.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. Good for you.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm being complimented.

[Josh Arnold]

No, you're not.

[Jess Hooker]

No, that's the thing.

[Josh Arnold]

Anytime you say to be kind, it's the meanest part of the sentence.

[Jess Hooker]

Usually you haven't said chunkles yet.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that.

[Jess Hooker]

But you have.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I was. Because he was saying that she was a large girl so she had more room for tattoos.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Sam Miller]

I appreciate you having my back.

[Tom Griswold]

He'd have her back, but it's too big.

[Sam Miller]

Tom scares me on some levels. On some levels, not at all.

[Tom Griswold]

You jokingly said that.

[Jess Hooker]

Kick his ass, Sam. Kick his ass.

[Tom Griswold]

Your wife, Your wife has a lot of room for tattoos.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, she's beautiful.

[Tom Griswold]

So what does she. So I'm trying to get the subway, but Josh keeps interrupting me. Okay, what kind of tattoos does she have?

[Sam Miller]

She's got all kinds of stuff, man. My favorite tattoo she has is of a like a pin up girl, like nursing. And she got that after our first son was born.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's sweet.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, it's really cool. And she's got a lot of stuff. She's got a Gilda Radner tattoo.

[Pat Godwin]

Nice.

[Tom Griswold]

A portrait of Gilda.

[Sam Miller]

It's. It's kind of like they have like the 13 on the 13th. You know about this on Friday the 13th. A lot of tattoo shops they run. No, they do.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. And you get to pick one of the ones that they post, right? Yeah, yeah.

[Sam Miller]

And she picked the Gilda.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And by the way, on a very sad note, Joe Flaherty died.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I saw that.

[Tom Griswold]

The great SCTV actor.

[Sam Miller]

But yeah, so see the guy, he was in Happy Gilmore.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Jackass. Yes.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

He was on Freaks and Geeks. What was he did the fake late night host on sctv.

[Jess Hooker]

Just Count Floyd.

[Tom Griswold]

Really hilarious.

[Jess Hooker]

And.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, who else? I'm trying to think of the other.

[Jess Hooker]

It was also Guy Caviar.

[Tom Griswold]

There you go.

[Jess Hooker]

He was general manager of sctv.

[Josh Arnold]

Very funny.

[Jess Hooker]

He was in a wheelchair, but didn't need it. Yeah, he'd hop out of the wheelchair when he got mad.

[Tom Griswold]

Very, very nice.

[Jess Hooker]

Now we're gonna be there, I guess.

[Tom Griswold]

No, we're acknowledging. Look, it's Jess Hooker over there.

[Pat Godwin]

Here I am.

[Tom Griswold]

You ever see a Linda Ronstadt album from about 1979?

[Pat Godwin]

I got my hair cut, and there's lots of feathering and bangs, and I

[Sam Miller]

think you look great. I think it's fun.

[Pat Godwin]

Thanks. I like it, too. I like it. I know it's not necessarily popular, but I'm very nice. Thank you.

[Sam Miller]

I'm a great guy because I love all haircuts.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah. All haircuts.

[Pat Godwin]

That's a good lesson to learn.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't.

[Sam Miller]

It's. It's really.

[Tom Griswold]

I hate most. I think the. The current fashion for men. I can't stand with the shave side. Guys look like they're poodles. Ridiculous. They're in the Hitler youth.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, you're gonna hate this. I'm this close to getting a pixie cut. Just, Just.

[Josh Arnold]

Who hates that?

[Pat Godwin]

I know Tom does.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I didn't.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know that I'm heterosexual.

[Josh Arnold]

Men.

[Tom Griswold]

Anybody else?

[Josh Arnold]

No way, man.

[Pat Godwin]

Like a pixie.

[Josh Arnold]

Real cute.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, I think they're me.

[Jess Hooker]

And hear what you say before. Before you say it or you just blurted out. Sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

Han and I are both on that list.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes. Han. Yeah, keep.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't, don't. Don't give yourself the butch haircut, ladies, unless you're. You know.

[Sam Miller]

I love women with really short hair.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Sam Miller]

From. Because I had the hots for Sigourney Weaver and aliens.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Sam Miller]

I also like girls that fight aliens.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

So maybe it's that super hot.

[Pat Godwin]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, I'm sorry. So, so sorry. So you're gonna get a. You're gonna get the. The old laptop.

[Pat Godwin]

I like every 10 years. I just ch. And we're coming to that time.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

How short?

[Pat Godwin]

Like just a pixie.

[Josh Arnold]

It's.

[Pat Godwin]

It's short.

[Josh Arnold]

She's not going to go. Goes with a Gozerian.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, no, I'm not. I mean, it's. It's not going to be a buzz cut or anything. There's going to be a style.

[Tom Griswold]

Could we vote? Could we have, like, a. No audience participation.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't think so.

[Pat Godwin]

No, I really, I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

Fine.

[Pat Godwin]

Fine.

[Jess Hooker]

Are you going to ever admit how preoccupied you are with hair and haircuts and because you're bald? Does that. Does that enter into this conversation?

[Tom Griswold]

No, it has nothing to do with.

[Jess Hooker]

It has Sam Senior sideburns, though. I. I don't think you. You. You do a service.

[Pat Godwin]

Tom's significant other is out of town, and when she's gone, he doesn't have to shave his sideburn.

[Jess Hooker]

So it looks like Millard Fillmore.

[Sam Miller]

It looks like those little kid hats that you tie at the bottom.

[Tom Griswold]

I would consider that an insult if it weren't an insult. No, don't cut your hair. Your hair looks great.

[Josh Arnold]

Do whatever you want, Jess.

[Pat Godwin]

Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

You can do whatever you want.

[Pat Godwin]

Do you want to have a job here?

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Josh Arnold]

What's the worst thing that's gonna happen? You get fired. Boy, oh, boy, what a blessing.

[Tom Griswold]

No more therapy.

[Sam Miller]

Woo.

[Christopher]

That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on itunes, Google play and stitcher for Bob and Tom. Extra. This is Christopher. Take care, everybody.

[Chris VanVliet]

Hey, I'm Chris VanVliet. Go behind the scenes and beyond the headlines with the biggest name and beyond Mr. Sandman.

[Christopher]

All I ever wanted to be was

[Jess Hooker]

a pro wrestler, so I got to

[Sam Miller]

live my life and make people really happy.

[Chris VanVliet]

The Heartbreak kid himself, Sean Michaels. Do you think there's anybody better than you were? I think I was great at what I did, and I think other people were great at what they did as well. Greatness is more mindset, I think, than anything else. Mindset, motivation, Insight with Chris VanVleet. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.