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Tom
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance.
Josh
Companies to see if you could save some cash?
Tom
Progressive makes it easy. Just drop in some details about yourself.
Josh
And see if you're eligible to save.
Tom
Money when you bundle your home and auto policies. The process only takes minutes and it could mean hundreds more in your pocket.
Christy
Visit progressive.com after this episode to see.
Tom
If you could save Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates.
Josh
Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.
Chick
It's the Bob and Tom Show.
Pat
Hello, everybody, and welcome to another exciting edition of that popular spring training guessing game who's on the Juice? I'm your host, Johnny Rum. Our contestants today are Jason Giambi, Barry Bonds and Yankees outfielder Gary Sheffield, who, by the way, is the nephew of former big leaguer Dwight Gooden. Say, Gary, your uncle didn't give you a package to give me, did he? A small package, about the size of a kilo?
Josh
I don't think so.
Pat
Because I'm good for it.
Josh
No? Nothing?
Pat
Alrighty then. Also on who's on the Juice? Today it's giant slugger Barry Bonds.
Christy
This better not take long, sissy boy, I'm missing my stories.
Pat
Okay, let's meet our final contestant, also a New York Yankee, Jason Giambi.
Josh
Oh, boy.
Pat
Take it easy now, Chef, we'll start with you. You recently said that if someone gives you a cup, you'd provide them with a urine sample anytime. Yet when a reporter brought a cup, you declined to do so. Did you refuse because A, the the players union doesn't permit random testing, B, you normally sit down when you pee, or C, steroids have shriveled certain body parts so much that you would only need a thimble.
Josh
I'm going to say B, Johnny, I like to sit correct.
Pat
You're on the board now, Barry. As a player in your late 30s, you broke the single season home run record with 73 dingers even though you had never hit as many as 50 in another season. Were you able to accomplish this miraculous feat because A, your God's favorite ballplayer B, you promised a dying kid you'd do it for him, or C, you ingested enough human growth hormone to grow twins out your backside?
Christy
I'll say D as in don't ask me that again, dumbass, or I'll knock your damn head off?
Pat
Close enough. Jason Giambi, you showed up for spring training about half the size you were in previous years, yet you claim this astounding reduction in muscle mass is due solely to the fact you made fewer trips to fast food restaurants. Did you think, A, we wouldn't notice? B, assume we all rode here on the short bus, or C, you think that Seabiscuit should have won the Oscar for best picture? Ooh, I'm sorry. Lord of the Rings was clearly the more epic and satisfying film. Well, we have to take a short break, but when we come back, it's the lightning round on who's on the Juice. I'm Johnny Rump. And Jason. Jabi reminds everyone to be sure and see Hidalgo in theaters now.
Chick
Hey, good morning. Hello, hello, hello. It's the Bob and Tom Show. Good morning, Christy.
Jeff
Good morning, Chick.
Chick
Christy, at the Silac Insurance news desk, there's Josh Arnold.
Josh
Hey, Chick.
Tom
Hey, man.
Chick
There's Pat Godwin.
Christy
Hello, Chick.
Chick
I'm Chick magee@the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios and Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit. We say that the first of the month to keep evil spirits away. It has not worked yet, but that doesn't keep us from trying, Tom.
Tom
Yeah.
Chick
Yeah.
Tom
Welcome to April.
Chick
Yes, sir.
Tom
Technically, it's April Fool's day, your favorite.
Jeff
Day of the year.
Tom
Amateur day.
Chick
You love it. You love this.
Tom
Yeah. Witticism, like, hey, your mother's dead. What? April Fool. Get it. Oh, God.
Chick
Hey, your shoes untied?
Tom
Yeah, it's so be careful.
Chick
Telling somebody their mom's dead really kicks.
Christy
It up more than just an April fool.
Chick
Yeah.
Tom
Josh. Yes, Your mom is fine.
Josh
Yeah, yeah, she's good.
Tom
Okay. I look around the room. I'm not sure about anybody else's mom. I'll just move forward.
Chick
Yeah.
Tom
Dying. Okay. Thanks, Pat.
Chick
Hang on a second. Hang on, Pat. Do that again. What'd you say?
Christy
Dang.
Tom
Well, aren't we all? I guess.
Chick
Plan accordingly.
Tom
Well, hello. We will.
Josh
Hello.
Tom
Today, be very careful with news stories. Some of them.
Chick
What do you mean?
Tom
You just have to make sure that you're not being fooled.
Chick
Oh.
Tom
So we. We've. I've sourced them very carefully and just in case, want to make sure that we got all the facts right today because you don't want to come back tomorrow. We're just kidding. Okay.
Jeff
Did you get some sleep? Are you okay?
Tom
Yeah, I got plenty of sleep. I'm doing great.
Jeff
All right.
Chick
You know, you. I'll tell you what's really wrong with it. We. We all of us do. Well, the cool kids do the wordle and connections in New York Times every morning. And connections this morning wasn't. Wasn't just words or there's no words in it.
Tom
My streak was several months or several intact.
Chick
It's all symbols busted today.
Tom
I got zero out of four.
Chick
Yeah. Oh. It was not a good.
Tom
It's unfair.
Chick
It's frightening how much importance I put on being able to solve the wordle at least.
Tom
Yeah.
Chick
If I don't. Man. The whole whole day.
Tom
Yeah. Connections. Your. Your hint is there are no words, so. No, it's right.
Jeff
There are no words.
Tom
No. I don't want to ruin it for someone. It's ridiculous. I got. I mean, the four categories. I got none. Right. Just never happened to me before. So. Anyway, that. That. That is maddening.
Chick
Yes.
Tom
And I'm sure I'm not the only one whose streak has ended today.
Chick
It's almost like it's. It's unfair. They're. They're trying. They're really trying to break hard. Hard to fool us. And I. I don't think they need to do that.
Tom
It's like when they have foreign words and crossword puzzles. I'm out.
Chick
English only I've said this. Any you guys do crossword puzzles? Like normal run of the mill crossword puzzles?
Josh
Yeah, every now and again.
Chick
I used to do these too. Until now. This mini crossword in the puzzle page in New York Times.
Christy
I like that.
Chick
They. It's not just one word now. It's like phrases. Yeah. It's like sometimes they'll have multiple. The clue is passed out and the answer's on the floor. I mean, that's not.
Jeff
That's not right.
Chick
That's not a word.
Tom
Fine. Got it to the mini in under a minute. In any event, sorry if you're trying to do connections today. Good. I've already heard from someone who got it.
Chick
They got them all. Yeah.
Tom
It's too frustrating to go forward.
Chick
He's not wrong.
Tom
In any event, once again, be. It's April Fool's day. Be on the lookout for.
Chick
Keep your head on a swivel.
Tom
Yeah. Okay. We're gonna be okay.
Christy
Watch your back.
Jeff
Stay inside.
Tom
Now we check. Opened up a interesting topic yesterday. We have a ton of answers to it, if you will, or suggestions. This involves old phrases from moms and.
Chick
Dads, maybe grandpas and grandmas.
Tom
Yeah. And there are so many that I hadn't heard before. And some of them may be just exclusive to one family. Well.
Jeff
And let's face it, you grew up a lot different than the rest of us.
Tom
Well, you know, but I mean, you.
Chick
Grew up a lot different than everybody right. Now.
Tom
How about this one? This comes to us from Goodlettsville, Tennessee.
Chick
I've Heard of that and I think I've been through it.
Tom
What a great name. Goodlettsville. This, this is from Chad. He writes my grandmother would get on my grandpa for eating unhealthy and he'd say, I'm tired of eating rabbit food. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow. Yeah, nice old folks, you, Wisdom, please pass me more mayonnaise.
Chick
Yeah, that's right.
Tom
Old family saying. My grandfather writes, brandon would pass gas, look around the room and say, did anyone hear that barking? Spider?
Josh
Yes.
Tom
You've heard that.
Jeff
One.
Chick
Yeah. Somebody step on a duck. That, that one's more. Might be the most famous one.
Tom
Every time we drive by a cemetery, my father in law says, hey, a cemetery. People are dying to get in there. You Tony in Meridian, Idaho.
Chick
Isn't that an old like Catskills joke or something? That sounds like.
Jeff
It does sound like.
Tom
How about the cemetery? People are dying to get in there.
Chick
I can't wait till the letter segment for this one. This is from Carol. She says when my dad would see a large, a larger woman, he would say, that's a lot of ham for one egg.
Tom
I like that. Never heard that one before.
Chick
From Arroyo Grande, California.
Tom
Got a lot of great towns weighing in this morning. Also, we were talking. I forget how this came up yesterday. I think it might have involved the news story. Oh, yeah, I know what it was. It was a woman's dog had eaten her. What were they called? Not Spanx.
Jeff
Skims.
Tom
Skims.
Jeff
K I M S. Kim Kardashian.
Tom
Expensive panties. Apparently she had them in a. In some kind of a laundry bin. And her dog ate a number of these panties and had to have $14,000 worth of surgery in the process of getting the dog repaired, removing the right panties, et cetera. Dear Bob and Tom show. I'm on a first date. I'm in the living room with the parents waiting for the date to come. Downstairs, their chihuahua comes in the room with a used sanitary napkin dangling from his mouth. The mother tries to take it away. After a tug of war, this chihuahua is not giving it up. Finally, the mom picks up the sanitary napkin with the dog still clinging to it dangling and quietly walks out of the living room. Thank you for the letter, sir. Thoroughly appreciate it.
Chick
It's a wonder that doesn't happen more often. That seems like something a dog would do.
Tom
Well, Christie, your dog ate.
Jeff
I had a dog that would get. He was.
Tom
Get in the bucket.
Jeff
Tampons. Yes. That is not good. The strings are not good.
Tom
Yeah.
Jeff
Inside the dog intestines.
Tom
Yeah. You can get Them?
Jeff
Yes.
Tom
I've had a couple dogs operated on to remove stuff. What's the. What's the fluid you need to have around if they do that?
Jeff
Syrup of ekpec.
Tom
No, no, no.
Jeff
Oh, hydrogen peroxide.
Tom
Yeah, hydrogen peroxide. If your dog eats a washcloth, you can get him to cough it up. Check with your vet, by the way. But lots of great phrases coming in, including. I don't even get this one. Steeper than a cow's face.
Chick
I don't either, but I think it's fun.
Tom
This hill is steeper than a cow's face. Shines like a diamond in a goat's ass.
Chick
That really paints a picture.
Jeff
Yeah.
Tom
Going faster than a scalded cat. Thank you, Vicki. I'm not sure what the cow's face means.
Chick
Faster than a skull.
Tom
Very folksy. I like a lot of these. We'll be getting to a whole bunch of them today. What's coming up in the world of sports?
Chick
We've got the torpedo bat. Continues. We're going to come up with some new names for the torpedo bat. Actually, we've got a couple already. The fat bat. You like that? Anything call it the fat bat.
Tom
Are these from you or.
Chick
No, just I've been looking around on the Internet trying to find another. I don't like torpedo bat. It sounds too confrontational. You know, it always reminds me of a German U boat.
Tom
Yeah, but it looks more like an elongated bowling pin. And again, it's the thicknesses in the middle of the bat, not at the end.
Chick
Torbie. Torpedo bat. Fat bat. The chode bat. Oh, you like the chode?
Tom
That's kind of inside.
Chick
I don't think so. You know, were you familiar with the word chode in St. Louis?
Josh
Yeah, but the first time I heard it, somebody said that was what a taint was called. So I think I was mis.
Christy
No idea.
Jeff
Oh, I thought it was.
Tom
I think chode is re. Is. I think regional for something that's very thick.
Jeff
Girthy. Yes. Yeah.
Chick
Cardi b back. How about that?
Tom
I think it's gonna. I think we're gonna be stuffed with torpedo bat. I got some raycon love here. You want to tell me more about the Raycons?
Chick
Raycon. That's right. And you know raycons have active noise cancellation. Did you guys know that? Capable of drowning out the most maddening of sounds. And raycons everyday earbuds are your quieting sidekick for the gym. So you can get one more rep in. And 3 and 2. You can quiet down at work there. Raycons are your phone call buddy. And Raycons has premium audio that goes where you go. And the Latest updated model, 32 hours of battery life. Multi point connectivity lets you pair with two devices at once. And Raycon has a quick charge function. Just 10 minutes of charging, 90 minutes of battery.
Tom
I got a Ray. I got a Raycon love letter here.
Jeff
Really?
Tom
This? It says, fellas, my name is Matt from Oregon City, Michigan. I did not know of Oregon City, Michigan.
Chick
Huh?
Tom
Because I've had the same pair of Raycon earbuds since before the pandemic.
Chick
Whoa.
Tom
I use them every day. I love the noise canceling feature. I run tractors, chainsaws and air guns. My Raycons and I have been to Mexico and all over the usa. I've accidentally sent them through the washer. I've used them in 105 degree summer days riding horses and below freezing working in my shop. They're amazing. Keep up the great work. Thank you very much. A little bit of a nice love letter from Matt indeed about the Raycon earbuds.
Chick
High price and high praise indeed. Go to buyraycon.com Tom. Get 20% off the best selling everyday earbuds from Raycon. That's buyraycon.com tom.
Tom
Coming up, perhaps a new weapon in domestic violence. Everybody's okay.
Chick
Really. Did we.
Josh
Yikes.
Chick
Do we need.
Jeff
This is a new one on me.
Tom
People tend to grab whatever's handy. Remember Christie's famous story about grabbing a coffee table?
Jeff
Yeah.
Tom
Perhaps.
Chick
My dad got a coffee table leg one time.
Tom
Oh, yeah.
Chick
For mom.
Tom
Broke it off.
Chick
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Tom
Oh, nice.
Chick
Oh, yeah.
Josh
Yeah.
Chick
They're rolling around on the floor.
Tom
No, that's not going to be our topic today.
Chick
I think it was Christmas. I think it was Christmas Eve now that I remember it.
Tom
Yeah. Okay.
Chick
Chestnuts roasting. You whack.
Oscar
Thank you.
Tom
Thank you. Also, we have what a bad place for a bad tattoo coming up. And Kermit the Frog in the news. It's all happening here in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom show this episode brought to you by Progressive Insurance.
Josh
Do you ever find yourself playing the.
Tom
Budgeting game, Shifting a little money here, a little there, hoping it all works.
Josh
Out well, with the name your price.
Tom
Tool from Progressive, you can get a better budgeter and potentially lower your insurance bill too. You tell Progressive what you want to pay for car insurance and they'll help find you options within your budget. Try it today@progressive.com progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates price and coverage match limited by state law not available in all states.
Chick
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs, get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts.
Tom
Oh, yeah.
Chick
What is it, O'Reilly? Oh.
Tom
Ow. It's kind of an owl. Yeah, I gotta, I need the whole thing. You got. I've gotta have the.
Chick
Oh.
Tom
O'Reilly.
Chick
O'Reilly Auto Parts. Ow.
Tom
Okay, that was not good.
Josh
No.
Tom
Pat, could we learn the music, please, and get that so we can do it now?
Chick
Can you play that on your.
Christy
Oh, oh, oh, O'Reilly.
Chick
Watch this.
Christy
Auto parts.
Jeff
Ow.
Chick
Watch this. You could always play it on your keyboard. Sure, let's hear that.
Christy
Just give me 20 minutes.
Tom
Okay, 20 minutes.
Jeff
Oh, my God.
Josh
Yeah.
Tom
I, I, if you're hearing that, that's nice. We aren't. I see your hands. Oh, there we go.
Chick
Hey, there you go.
Christy
What's the melody?
Chick
Oh, Riley.
Tom
Oh, oh, Riley. Oh, yeah. Okay, well, we'll work on that off the air. Okay, thank you very much. Now, this is the, the male segment of our program. And Pat, you want to ad lib a We got mail song here real quick.
Christy
Mail, we got mail. We got mail. We got mail. We got mail. We got mail. We got mail.
Tom
Okay, now, what's the address? You can reach a set, can reach.
Chick
Us at Bob and tom@bob and.com.com.
Tom
Thank you very much. That was painful. Now, once again, we opened up this topic yesterday of old catchphrases, maybe from mom and dad or Grandpa. Some of them are so nice. My favorite one is still this one is if my dad wanted to eat more of something after he'd get it, he'd always say, it's not like I was ever gonna fit back in that prom dress. I just love that.
Jeff
This is kind of in a similar vein. James writes, my dad would always say to me, after stuffing himself at the dinner table, why'd you sit there and let me eat all that?
Tom
Yeah. When asked, Steve writes, when asked how he was doing, my dad would say, I'm finer than a hair on a frog's ass.
Jeff
Do frogs have hair on their head?
Tom
Or he'd say, if I was any better, I'd be twins.
Chick
I've always heard, fine. That's fine as frog's hair, huh? No.
Tom
This one's too violent. Let's move on. Okay. My dad's favorite saying was, keep talking, you're gonna look real funny walking around with my foot up Your ass. And then this old classic that makes this much sense in a screen door and a submarine.
Chick
Oh, yeah, that's one.
Tom
But this is. I really like this one. This is. If my father was doing something difficult, he'd say, that's harder than a minister's pecker.
Jeff
Oh, my God.
Christy
Where did he go to church?
Jeff
No joke.
Tom
The implication, I think, being the man of a cloth.
Chick
The implication. You got to explain the implication now, Tom.
Tom
Okay, sorry. On the road. This, this. Let's see. I was on a road trip. My dad would use the same joke every time. The first chance we'd pass some cows, he'd say, look at that flock of cows. One of us would reply as the same way he. I'm sorry. One of us would reply like chick responding to Aces joke of the day. After my dad said, look at that flock of cows. We'd say, heard of cows? And he'd say, of course I've heard of cows. There's a whole flock of them right there. I got nothing. Okay. You got anything over there?
Chick
I got one, but it doesn't have anything to do with sayings. This is Ricky with an eye. So I'm guessing it's a lady. She says, I just decided to get away from everything and travel to Europe. It had been so nice disconnecting and living a carefree existence for the past week and a half. That's until I visited Lucerne, Switzerland. The city is gorgeous. I was enjoying myself until I came upon a large poster promoting upcoming shows at a local venue. One of those shows featuring Susie Quatro. And because I made the unfortunate decision to be a regular listener of your program, stumbling in became an instant ear worm that I've been unable to kill for the last three days. I can't get it out of my head. I was walking the streets of Heidelberg, Germany, trying to enjoy the scenery. But no, I had that turd playing non stop in my brain. Thanks for ruining my vacation.
Tom
Oh, yeah. Susie lives in England, right?
Chick
Ricky from Mary's, Marysville, Ohio. I think she does. Yeah. Okay. Thank you very much.
Tom
Another. Another old saying. This is from Joel. My dad, if we got a scratch or scrape, would say, you look like you've been sorting bobcats in a dark closet.
Jeff
Oh, whoa.
Tom
That's a nice, nice analogy there. We will push on here.
Chick
Sorting bobcats.
Tom
Yeah, these are greatest. Love these. This one is a little bit coarse. After eating food that was just okay. My father would say, well, it'll make a turd. Oh, not really a. Really. Not really a compliment to Monster Wild.
Chick
Is that an actual letter or did you make that?
Tom
No, no, no. Right here. How about this one? This is another one. Whenever you'd go to the bathroom, my father would say, mention my name, you'll get a good seat. Oh, come on.
Chick
That's good. I've heard that one.
Tom
Yeah, I've never heard that one either.
Jeff
That's funny.
Tom
Have missed way too many of these. If you've got a good one, though, from mom, dad or Grandpa or Grandma or your Uncle Clarence or whoever it is, I'd like to hear it. This is one from Scott. If I complained about anything, my mother would say, boy, you'd if I hung you with a new rope, that's either way.
Chick
Still getting hanged.
Tom
Yeah.
Chick
You know, my grandfather upset me one time. I had to be seven or six or seven along in there. And I said, grandpa, my arm hurts. And he started feeling my arm and he goes, well, you know what the problem is? You've got a bone in it. And I lost my mind. I started sobbing. I've got a bone in my arm. I wasn't that swift. Well, not like now.
Tom
Yeah, of course, of course. Once again, Bob and Tom at bob&tom.com if you'd care to share with us some of your sayings from back in the day. Right now we're going to switch gears. If you're just joining us here on the Bob and Tom show, we are coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. And over there, it's the Orange Insoles sports desk with Chick Magee. Any sporting news of interest?
Chick
We've got the ladies. Final Four is set. UConn beat USC last night 7864 and Texas over TCU 58 47. Three number one seeds will be in the Final Four, the women's NCAA tournament. And the number seed actually is the favorite, Yukon, South Carolina, Texas and ucla. They lock horns on Friday night in Tampa.
Tom
This isn't the general criticism of basketball right now that too many of the high seeds are, they're all winning and there are no sort of Cinderella teams.
Chick
And I think, well, that's certainly the case. And yeah, but how they're the best team. So how can you be upset that.
Tom
They'Re usually, usually by now there's a.
Chick
Couple that didn't happen. Maybe it'll happen next year.
Tom
That's. I'm just saying the general consensus is that it's kind of boring.
Chick
You've been listening to sports talk radio again, haven't you?
Tom
I've been reading.
Chick
Just be honest.
Tom
No, no, I've been reading.
Chick
You like the athletic, don't you? I like that, too. Yeah. That's a really nice read. I don't mind that. Yeah. The men's basketball. Yeah. They're all four. Number one sees one Major League baseball note from last night, Ellie De La Cruz of the reds, he went 4 for 5, two home runs, seven RBIs. And he was using the Torpedo bat last night, and they asked him, are you gonna use it again? And he, heck, yeah, he's gonna use it again. So there you go.
Josh
Wow.
Chick
Yeah. That Torpedo bat's taken off, Tom. I think we need to get one in here and see how far Tom can hit a baseball.
Tom
Is it hard to get one right now? I would.
Chick
I think all the major. I saw a story. All the major league teams are ordering them. So I think they wanted to be sure it was legal before anybody did anything.
Tom
What I don't understand is it seems like a fairly basic principle of physics that the place you hit the ball the most, you'd want to have the most.
Chick
Well, this. This is 2020 hindsight, though. Then why didn't you come up with it before the.
Tom
Well, I don't really sit around thinking about bats.
Chick
Maybe you should. You think?
Tom
I know. I'm just curious. I know there is. Josh said yesterday there's lots of different kinds of bats out there. And I remember going to the hall of Fame and seeing Babe Ruth's bat thinking, wow, it looks like a giant milk bottle.
Chick
Is that what it looks like? Really?
Tom
Yeah, it was real skinny at the bottom and big at the top.
Chick
Why don't they make really large fielders? Gloves? Yeah, like the size of a large pizza. So you can't. There's your idea.
Tom
I was looking at sure Catch by Rawlings. I was looking at this old team. I've got to forget the name. They were. It was a minor league ball club and they were part of a religious cult and they couldn't cut their hair or beards.
Chick
Oh, yeah. House of David.
Tom
Yeah, House of David baseball team. And I was. It was a fascinating story. Some of them were really good players.
Chick
And you didn't have to be Jewish to be on the team, but you did have to grow your hair and.
Tom
Yeah, I mean, it looked like just giant beards along. But you notice the gloves back in the day, they weren't much bigger than a set of work gloves.
Chick
Real, real time.
Christy
Has Cooperstown expanded since 75?
Tom
I would imagine they've added a lot of wings.
Josh
Yeah. The steroid ring.
Chick
Yeah.
Christy
Oh, yeah, That's Huge, right?
Josh
Yeah. Except the men's bathroom isn't.
Tom
And they sell. They sell medication for back acne.
Jeff
Now, when you stop taking steroids, do your balls grow back?
Chick
Oh, no. Barry Bonds. Tiny little raisins.
Jeff
Really?
Chick
It's tragic. Really. Yeah.
Tom
Josh, you worked for Rawlings.
Josh
Yeah.
Tom
So was there a lot of glove technology that was interesting?
Josh
Yes. Yeah. In fact, when I worked there, they introduced. They. Well, they kind of reintroduced. Because this used to be a thing back in the day day, the vice glove, which was a three finger glove. So you would have three fingers in the last slot where your pinky would normally go, and then index finger and thumb. And it was. People did not. They either loved it or hated it. So it didn't totally take off.
Christy
Are guys still putting linseed oil and wrapping it at night and putting the ball in it, that kind of stuff?
Josh
Yeah. Yeah, there are. People have all kinds of ways to break in a glove. The best way is to play catch. That's really the best way.
Chick
Lanolin, put a ball. Rub it.
Josh
Don't ever put it in the oven. Don't ever soak it in shaving cream and anything like that.
Chick
You're not supposed to drag it behind your car.
Josh
I wouldn't.
Chick
Huh.
Josh
Now, people park their cars on it. But I don't think that breaks. I don't think that breaks it into your hand. It just breaks it in just.
Chick
I was always a big fan of the first baseman's glove. I played first base a little bit, but I do. I like the looks of that glove.
Josh
Yeah, they're cool.
Tom
I had the same glove until I was in my 40s.
Chick
Was that an autographed glove?
Tom
Yes, it was autographed.
Chick
Do you remember who it was?
Tom
Bob Feller.
Chick
Bob Feller.
Christy
Bob Feller.
Jeff
Did you actually use the glove?
Tom
Yeah.
Chick
You played baseball when you were a kid?
Tom
Of course.
Chick
No kidding. I see you as being Shaker Boys League.
Tom
The Bears.
Chick
You were on the Shaker Bears. Oh, it was Shaker Boys League. And there were different.
Tom
Yeah, we were the Bears.
Chick
Oh, I think Tom was. Reminded me of that little. Oh, yeah. Foghorn Leghorn when she tries to marry Foghorn and. But. But she has a little boy. Yeah, Prissy has a little boy. That. The egghead with the big glasses. That's. That's who Tom reminds me of as a little boy.
Josh
Well, listen to me, boy. I ain't talking to hear my head roar.
Tom
I love that. Do you still have your glove that you had when you were a kid?
Josh
No, no, I have an old Randy Johnson Glove. That's the oldest one I have.
Chick
Wow.
Christy
Signed or no?
Josh
Just an autograph. Yeah. One of the signature series type. Yeah.
Tom
I don't know how mine disappeared at one point, but, God, that was where.
Christy
They put you at out in the field, where you. Short stuff.
Chick
Yeah. This will say a lot about what.
Tom
I was the worst player on our team. I was on the.
Josh
In right field?
Tom
Yeah.
Chick
Right field?
Tom
Yeah.
Chick
Nobody hits the right field at that age.
Tom
Yeah. It was awful. Right now, a couple quick things. We'll find out what's coming up. We have a couple of really good stories today. I'm very excited about news about Jessica Simpson involving sperm.
Chick
Is she still out there? What's she doing?
Tom
Wait till you hear what she's doing.
Chick
She making jeans?
Josh
A hell of a business or something?
Jeff
She has a hell of a business. She sells everything.
Tom
We have a couple of great world records, including one world record now held by a guy from the same town. Christie lives in Zionsville, usa. Really in the world record books today, which is very exciting.
Chick
I smell a street carnival coming on or something.
Jeff
What you're going to smell is Main street diet.
Tom
What you're going to smell is pizza. We'll find out what that's all about. Right now I want to tell you about a little bit of statistics. You a fero chick McGee with the Dow Jones Index?
Chick
I am familiar with it. That's right. But I'm more of a footsie guy. Tom.
Tom
Yeah. I'm not sure that that's what the one in. In England. I guess I don't really follow that.
Chick
But is that what it is? Yeah.
Tom
I think I know that the market goes up and down. Could you illustrate that orally, if you will. That's the sound of the market going up. That's the sound of the market going down. And lately it sounds like this. There you go. Thank you very much. Yeah. This is where an annuity comes in from our friends at the Silac Insurance Company. When it's time for you to retire, you don't want to be worried about the market every day and get up going, well, I hope I get money this month. I want to keep living. Well, an annuity is a way to make sure that you get that check every month, whatever is happening with the market. So you can counter what I call market volatility with something a lot more steady. Don't worry about the sound of gloom and doom. An annuity is reliable. So find out what I'm talking about by visiting silacins.com when it's time for you to retire. You want to make sure that you've got that check coming in every month. And they can guarantee that with a very special thing called an annuity. Get all the details. Some restrictions apply. See if you are eligible. Silacins.com or just go to bobandtom.com and Chickamaughee will walk you through it. An annuity from the Silac Insurance Company. Plan on it and then, of course, live on it. The Silac Insurance Company. S I l a c I n s.com Coming up, we have once again a new weapon in the world of domestic violence.
Chick
That is not the team promoting that.
Tom
How about. How about something better? How about a. A new world record held by one of Christie's neighbors.
Chick
There you go.
Tom
All right, all right.
Chick
Anything but domestic violence.
Tom
Okay, okay. Oh, we have the world's longest tongue on a woman.
Jeff
Oh.
Tom
Oh, yeah.
Chick
Shut up.
Tom
Okay. O'Reilly Auto Parts is where we are. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Pat
Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe.
Jeff
This episode is brought to you by Shopify.
Tom
Upgrade your business with Shopify, home of.
Jeff
The number one checkout on the planet. Shop.
Tom
Pay boosts conversions up to 50%, meaning fewer carts going abandoned and more sales going cha ching.
Chick
So if you're into growing your business.
Jeff
Get a commerce platform that's ready to.
Chick
Sell wherever your customers are.
Jeff
Visit shopify.com to upgrade your selling today on that.
Tom
You can get it, though, real soon.
Chick
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee, Pat Godwin, Josh Arnold. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. I'm Chick McGee at the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. Hello, Tom.
Tom
Wait. Hello. There we go. Testing, testing, testing. Hello. Hello, Chick McGee.
Jeff
Hello, world.
Tom
Some weird weather out there. Yeah. I don't know if you heard about this, but one of my favorite bridges had to close for a while yesterday due to an ice storm.
Jeff
Oh, my goodness.
Tom
The Mackinac Bridge. Yeah, that's right. You crossed it, right, Pat?
Christy
Yeah.
Tom
I hate it.
Chick
They should close out because the creepy factor.
Tom
Terrifying. I don't care for work of art.
Josh
Yeah, I gotta try it sometimes.
Chick
Yeah. I don't try to drive my car over the Venus de Milo.
Tom
It's thrilling.
Josh
You're really sure?
Chick
I can imagine.
Christy
I drove down the middle of it like a scared little rabbit.
Chick
Yeah.
Tom
Come on now. Let's put our big boy pants on.
Chick
And that bridge we went across or as my mother would say, across Covington, from Cincinnati to Covington, it took my wheel and shakes your car back and forth while you're driving across it. I don't care for that, Tom.
Jeff
When we were kids, we called those the singing bridges because they make kind of like a whistling noise.
Tom
Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah. But lovely. Great feats. Great feats of engineering. Beautiful. Beautiful to look at and whatever. Now we are on the sports page. I should point out it's the orange inSouls.com sports page with Chick Magee. What's happening over there?
Chick
The Tush Push is the hottest topic of the NFL's annual meetings this week. And West. West Palm. Is that where. Yeah. Coaches, general managers gathered at a posh resort to discuss potential rules changes, including the packers proposal to eliminate play that's become a short yardage staple for the champion Philadelphia Eagles. The packers are leaning on player, safety and pace of play as reasons for banning the Tush push. NFL executive Troy Vincent said last month there have been zero injuries reported as a result of that play. Any rule change must be approved by 24 out of 32 owners. My beef is, it's. For the longest time, the rule has been you can't help or aid the runner in any way. And they are pushing the quarterback from behind. I don't care for that.
Tom
I don't care for the name.
Chick
You can do the quarterback sneak, but how do you feel about.
Josh
I like the name. I like how gay it is.
Chick
The Brotherly Shove. How about that? The Brotherly Shove sounds a little less gay, but still gay.
Josh
Yeah.
Tom
I don't know. I. I've got to think. I can't think of a better name, but I just. Careful.
Chick
Gayest name of a play. I think in the Button Hook.
Christy
I think Button Hook.
Chick
It's got butt right in there.
Tom
Yeah, that sounds like a sex movie. You know what Gabriel gave her? The old button hook.
Chick
You know what the button hook is, Tom? Do you know what that is?
Tom
Yeah.
Chick
Can you describe it to me?
Tom
You go out and you turn around very quickly like a little hook.
Chick
That is exactly right.
Tom
Ergo, button hook.
Chick
You know what the down and in is? Run it down and in. Run it down and out.
Tom
Yeah.
Chick
Okay.
Christy
How about the sprint? Out and up?
Tom
You know, that one sex move Or a football player.
Christy
Go to the flats, almost to the sideline.
Tom
Boom.
Christy
Right up. You fake the guy out.
Tom
Touchdown.
Chick
Go to the post.
Josh
That's always thrilling.
Tom
Yeah. Now, were you. Were you a tight end?
Christy
Me?
Josh
No.
Christy
I was a flanker and a running back brought in the Plays.
Chick
He's too tiny to be a tight end.
Christy
Fast tiny.
Tom
I see. I see.
Christy
Not just tiny.
Chick
Not buying that.
Tom
They're also gonna keep the dynamic kickoff. Probably the.
Chick
Yes. And they're moving the touchback from the 30 to start your drive now at the 35.
Tom
Okay. My favorite story yesterday about the NFL was the guy that weighs 450 plus pounds.
Jeff
Oh, my God.
Tom
Desmond. Desmond Watson.
Chick
464.
Tom
God. Unbelievable. That's a, that's a big fellow.
Chick
5, 8, 40.
Tom
Yeah, that's. That's amazing.
Josh
Yeah, that is amazing.
Tom
And what was his vertical leap?
Chick
25 inches.
Jeff
Yeah. So he jumped 25 inches.
Chick
Six. Six.
Tom
With a. Maybe with a trampoline and a Tarzan rope.
Chick
He can dunk a basketball at that size. Holy hell.
Christy
Can he really?
Chick
Yes.
Tom
Wow.
Chick
If you're six, six and jump two feet in the air, that's eight, six.
Josh
And hang on to the rim. Out of glass.
Tom
Well, I think if you. Yes. If you hang onto the rim, the entire assembly will be, will be hitting the floor.
Chick
What are they saying? National vacation. A lot of SAP. A lot of glass.
Josh
Little full lot of SAP.
Chick
Ready for this story now? Is this considered a record? Let me know and I'll go back and do it if I have to. A British para Olympian has become the first blind woman.
Tom
Yeah.
Chick
To swim across the English Channel. Wow. At least that's what we toled her.
Jeff
She's in a tank at home, you guys.
Chick
And I was doing this right outside the tank.
Josh
There's another guy.
Jeff
Oh, jellyfish.
Christy
Throwing fish at her.
Chick
Avasti land lovers.
Tom
This is a great feat.
Chick
I, I. Watch out for the lighthouse. Oh, you have done it. Congratulations.
Christy
We cannot believe it.
Chick
Amazing.
Tom
Yes. There are people on the other side of the tank smoking cigarettes with real bad bo.
Chick
Would you like France?
Christy
Would you like some red wine?
Chick
How about a croissant? Hurry, quick.
Tom
Your dog is drowning. No, this is a. First of all, swimming the English Channel is one of the great feats of Western culture.
Chick
Waste of time. No, it is not. Yes, it is.
Tom
It's a, it's. It's an iconic feat.
Chick
I love you, but I disagree.
Josh
Gotta be cold, choppy.
Tom
Have you no respect of Western culture?
Chick
Let her set a time record. See how fast she can swim. I don't care if she can swim the Channel.
Tom
What? She's the first blind woman ever to do it. That's record enough. Good for her. Isn't she in her 40s?
Chick
Oh, my God. She's not that old, is she?
Tom
I mean, this is 40s.
Chick
Holy hell.
Josh
Two handicaps.
Tom
Oh, I would like that.
Christy
She's not on Tinder.
Tom
You know, I'd like to have a chicks, right? Could we get a blind woman to come in here?
Chick
Woman?
Tom
I want to get a blind woman in here with a new. With the new.
Chick
I want her to kick.
Josh
No.
Chick
No chicks.
Tom
I don't want her to kick your ass.
Josh
I want her to get one of.
Tom
Those new Yankee baseball bats. And let's just start flying it around the room and see if she can hit you in the head. Maybe get rid of the sound coming out of your mouth.
Josh
Being blind and swimming the channel is easier than. I want to see her navigate the tube.
Chick
Yes.
Josh
You know what? I go down those escalators, subway, narrow hallways. Get on the right train, Leave. That's harder.
Chick
Leave your home, Chelsea, and get to Harrods and under.
Josh
Yeah.
Tom
Good luck.
Chick
Good luck, lady.
Tom
You're horrible.
Josh
No, we're really not. I mean, that's a testament to how everyday life is a challenge for her.
Tom
She's a guy.
Josh
Swimming in a wide open body of water is the easiest thing she'll do all week.
Chick
Oh, yeah.
Tom
Wait a minute.
Chick
Go like this. Yeah.
Tom
She's gonna go. What if she swims in a big circle? She has to know which way to go.
Josh
She can feel.
Tom
Oh, God, I feel terrible. It's a great feat. Do we even get her name out there? Did you know Melanie?
Chick
Melanie Barat or Barrett?
Tom
Barrett, I believe.
Chick
Oh, I remember that. When you were a kid, you Barrett. Well, I'll share it. Remember that? Oh, yeah. Whip those boobies out.
Jeff
What the hell, man?
Chick
She swam the channel in 12 hours, 20 minutes. Although of those 12 hours, only four hours. She was swimming in the right direction.
Tom
You couldn't tread water for 20 minutes?
Chick
I beg your pardon? I. I think I could. I'm a pretty. You think Decent swimmer. I know.
Tom
So could you swim for 12 straight hours in the ocean?
Chick
Maybe. Would you like me to try and then don't come back.
Tom
Either way, if you. Before you try, you might want to make sure that your will is in order.
Chick
Yeah, I know. Just go home. Quit and go home. I was here for the early show, though. I know. Melanie became the first blind woman to swim the length of a can.
Josh
What's wrong with you?
Chick
From Shakespeare beach to Dover. Ben Dover.
Josh
Oh, she swam the length of it. She didn't swim across.
Pat
Of course.
Tom
She swam across.
Josh
Well, the length. That would be the width of it.
Chick
Absolutely. He. This is miss. Yeah, sometimes he edits out.
Tom
Oh, the actual Shakespeare beach to Cap Grizz.
Chick
Nez beach in France land.
Tom
All right, okay.
Chick
She said that being blind has left her feeling isolated. You ever been to Shakespeare beach and.
Christy
Waited for not much ado about nothing?
Tom
Was that worth the wait? Not really, no. I say no.
Chick
But thanks to swimming, she has a newfound confidence and hopes her feet inspires others.
Tom
Good for her. What a great story.
Chick
Perhaps we could have a song.
Josh
Her feet may inspire others.
Chick
A tribute to Melanie Barat.
Tom
Do you have anything pat for that?
Christy
No, that didn't.
Josh
Blind while swimming the channel.
Tom
Like.
Josh
And we're wet and we're swimming and going to a France.
Tom
How about this one? I got a patch boat. She's got her dog in the boat. Dog in the boat, baby.
Chick
Dog in the boat. She's blind as a bat.
Tom
Dog in the boat.
Jeff
In the boat.
Chick
Dog in the boat.
Christy
She's been trying to swim the channel.
Chick
Yes, she has.
Christy
She's swimming now today. Oh, she's got a seeing eye dog. She's swimming those waves. But the girl is blind. Swim that channel. That chick is blind. 42. That's way too old for you. Blind and 42. What's this broad supposed to do? The girl is blind swimming the channel and she's blind 12 hours. 12 hours.
Chick
That damn girl is blind.
Christy
That girl is blind.
Tom
The doggone girl is blind. Thank you very much.
Jeff
Top of your head. I'm so impressed.
Chick
40 years old, blind.
Tom
It's a. It's a great feat. Coming up, another world record. The longest tongue on a lady and a woman. And another world record involving Christie's neighbor. For real. This is.
Chick
Oh, you know, you know. Have you seen the story beyond?
Jeff
No, I have not.
Chick
You know, she is either friends with this person or is only one degree separated.
Tom
Oh, absolutely, absolutely.
Chick
Yeah.
Jeff
I know a lot of people and.
Tom
It'S a record that Josh is going to love. It's very exciting.
Chick
Well, maybe we should interview them.
Tom
We are in the Aurelioto part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Pat
Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Get a look at today's show on our YouTube channel. It's part sports.
Josh
We have football on the brain, part pop culture. Dennis Ly True or false. You refuse to wear a glove with Mickey Mantle's signature on it.
Tom
The movie, the sand, the Red Sox blood, the Bruins blood. They run deep.
Pat
Add in the best celebrity interview.
Josh
Robert Dairo here on the Rich Eisen Show.
Tom
How are you, sir?
Chick
Just got over a 24 hour virus.
Josh
The antidote is to appear on the Rich Eisen Show.
Chick
There you go. I would have done it earlier.
Pat
And you've got the Rich Eisen show podcast.
Josh
There's a medicinal quality to appearing on this program.
Tom
Follow and listen on your favorite platform tales coming up.
Chick
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. At the Silac Insurance news desk, it's Christy Lee.
Jeff
Hi.
Chick
There's Pat Godwin.
Christy
Hello.
Chick
Nice of you to join us.
Christy
Sorry I'm a little late. What were you doing fraternizing in the green room?
Chick
Were you grabbing some java House coffee? Yeah.
Christy
Boy, it's delicious. Nice and hot. Nice taste.
Chick
Robust but unassuming.
Christy
Notes of ginger.
Chick
Oh, ginger I like.
Jeff
I thought you liked Marianne.
Chick
I like ginger, you. There's Josh Arnold. Hello, I'm Chick McGee@theorangensouls.com sports desk. Hello, Tom.
Tom
Hello, everybody. It's great to be back. I'll remind everyone that we have a pop up store@bobandtom.com and we've got those great spring T shirts, including our special charity shirts for Cincinnati and Toledo. We had a great time doing some broadcasts there Thursday and Friday and we're about to make a couple of nice donations. So if you have the notion to wear something fashionable this spring, check out the Bob and tom store@bobandtom.com right. Now we return to the orangeinsouls.com sports desk.
Chick
Starring Chick Magee, Los Angeles Dodgers first baseman Fast Freddie Freeman out of the lineup last night for the win against the Braves. Dodgers 6 0. I'm going to tell you, I don't think they're going to lose a game this season. What do you think, Tom?
Tom
I'll take that bet.
Chick
162 and 0.
Josh
Just put $5 on that.
Chick
Right.
Josh
It pays off.
Chick
Why wouldn't you?
Tom
Because it's never happened.
Jeff
Well, there's a first time.
Chick
Manchester continues the payout. Look that up. What's the longest winning streak ever in Major League Baseball?
Tom
Longest losing streak, I think was. Wasn't it last year with the White Sox?
Josh
I don't remember.
Chick
White Sox lost a lot last year.
Josh
I don't remember if they broke this, if it was the longest or not.
Tom
Or maybe it was the most losses in a season. But maybe they're okay so far this year.
Josh
So. Yeah, I mean the money ball streak was 20 something games, wasn't it?
Chick
Oh, that's right. Freddie Freeman out of the lineup because according to manager Dave Roberts, Freddie re injured his ankle, the surgically repaired ankle, getting into the shower. Oh, you know how dangerous that can be. Christy, do you have the street.
Jeff
Hang on a second there. They have it listed by different.
Josh
Oh well, she's fine in the street now.
Tom
Christy, you at your new house, do you have a two person shower?
Jeff
It's technically two people could be in there. Yeah. Oh, yeah, there's. Have you inaugurated shower here and then a rain shower.
Tom
Are you living in it yet?
Chick
No.
Tom
Oh, so you're not even living in your new house?
Jeff
No, let's not go.
Tom
So you haven't had a chance to inaugurate anyway.
Jeff
No inaugurated nothing.
Chick
Hang on a second.
Jeff
What? Wanna buy a house? I got one.
Chick
What's the problem?
Tom
Well, they're not in the house yet. They haven't moved in the furniture.
Chick
Why aren't you moved in the house yet?
Josh
Shut up.
Chick
You're at.
Jeff
Because I have another house that needs sold first.
Josh
You guys are breaking all the rules we agreed to.
Jeff
Yeah, don't talk about me moving.
Tom
Okay, Sorry. Why don't you talk about Christie's neighbor in the news? This is a great world record. I'm so excited.
Chick
Okay, wait a minute. We're talking about baseball in the streaks. Go ahead.
Jeff
So, though it's really hard because they have it against one play. One exact. It says here the National League's 1916 New York Giants hold the record of winning 26 consecutive games. The longest American League winning streak is 22 by the 2017 Cleveland Indians.
Josh
Oh, that first one is still the.
Chick
August the Friends of the Feather.
Jeff
162 is going to be quite a feat.
Josh
Oh, yes. That's why he should just put five bucks on 162.
Chick
Zero. Can you. The sports world. The sports world would be upside down.
Tom
By the way. By the way, if Tim Wilson were with us, he'd go, yeah. That's the only reason they got that record, was it 1917?
Jeff
Yeah.
Tom
Is because all the black players were in Vietnam. Now, admittedly, you'd have to adjust the joke. It'd be more like. Yeah, well, they. All the black players were in.
Chick
You know, I don't have any doubt.
Tom
That'S not the case.
Josh
Even say, World War I. I have.
Chick
No doubt that in 2017 we somehow invaded Vietnam. I. I don't have any doubt at all that that happened.
Tom
I see.
Josh
The French, I think, were there.
Chick
Oh, yeah. You know, they love it.
Josh
Let's just put it this way. Vietnam was invaded at that point.
Chick
Yes, absolutely.
Josh
I think it was Indochina or whatever the hell.
Chick
Why? And why isn't it in duh, China instead of Indo?
Tom
Could we get to the record, please? This is Christie's neighbor. He's probably listening.
Jeff
I can't wait.
Chick
A pizza shop owner from Zionsville, Indiana, has broken the Guinness world Record for running a marathon while carrying.
Jeff
I know this guy.
Chick
Pizza.
Josh
Wow.
Tom
You know this guy?
Jeff
My daughter worked for him. Go on.
Chick
Mr. Michael Cole?
Jeff
Yep.
Chick
Not the one from Mod Squad.
Tom
That one is deceased.
Jeff
Does he own Greek's Pizzeria?
Tom
Yep.
Chick
He ran Mike the Mill Race Marathon in Columbus, Indiana. 3 hours and 14 minutes while carrying a pizza box with. This is important. A pizza inside.
Jeff
All right, Mike, way to go. Yeah. Ava used to work there. Yeah, I know, Michael.
Chick
Was this another job she lost? Holy heck.
Josh
She said she had been stealing toppings.
Chick
I thought so. Mr. Cole, who owns Greeks Pizzeria, where we deliver at the back door.
Jeff
They do have a back door.
Tom
He's making it. He's making an anal sex joke.
Chick
Are you happy now?
Tom
Yes. Okay, so you'd get to the point of the story.
Josh
The guy ran a marathon holding the pizza. How cool is that? Not very.
Chick
Not very.
Tom
But he held it. He held it in the proper manner. He didn't.
Josh
Well, I bet he switched. You'd have to switch.
Chick
Man Managed to accomplish the feat. A 16 inch cheese pie. Okay. No toppings.
Josh
Well, that's lighter. Nice try, Michael.
Tom
So now what are you gonna bitch about now? Oh, his Thin, crusty, big. Well, that is with the thick crust way too much. The guy ran a marathon.
Chick
I want to know where I'm supposed to get my pizza toppings now that Ava has quit. And she used to sell those to.
Jeff
Me a long time ago.
Chick
You need green pepper. Need onions. How about some sausage?
Christy
In the trunk.
Tom
I just. I feel bad for the guy that ordered the pizza. Hey, it's been three hours and 14 minutes. Next time, could you use your car?
Josh
No. This is fun.
Chick
Have you ever ordered a pizza and gotten it and some of the toppings just slid over to one side?
Josh
Oh, sure.
Chick
Like.
Josh
Oh, yeah. Set it against the seat sideways.
Chick
Yeah, you're carrying it like a book. Going to study hall. Is that right? Good job.
Tom
I don't like to go food.
Chick
Yeah, I know you don't. That's interesting.
Jeff
You don't like pizza.
Josh
Delivery is pretty fantastic.
Chick
I got it when I was a kid. I thought that was deluxe luxury. Ordering a pizza and coming to your house, man.
Jeff
And the closest one was like 35 minutes away from our house. That would deliver.
Tom
Now, Christy and I used to live in the same neighborhood. And there was that one Russian guy.
Jeff
Yeah, he was good.
Tom
He was nice. I wonder if he's still out there. I'd always invite him in.
Josh
He's so cold out.
Tom
Thank you. Yeah. It's cold out there. Yeah. He was a real good guy. He was well educated. Had come over here from Russia hustling.
Chick
My name is Arnold Brezhnev. And as far as you know, no relation.
Tom
Don't ask.
Chick
Don't ask. Don't ask, don't tell. Mike is an avid runner. He usually finishes marathons in under three hours. But he claimed carrying the pizza box made the process 90% harder.
Tom
You know what his next record is going to.
Chick
It weighed him down.
Tom
He's going to swim the English gentle. Carrying a pizza.
Chick
Let's come up like carrying two subs and.
Josh
Oh, that is water related.
Chick
Mozzarella.
Tom
I see. Okay, good.
Chick
Okay. He couldn't have dismissed me quicker.
Tom
I think we've covered every aspect of this.
Josh
I just thought it was fun.
Tom
It was cool and fun.
Josh
It is fun.
Chick
Oh, it started raining during the marathon. He had to put some plastic over the pizza as protection.
Josh
Oh, that's.
Jeff
Want a soggy pizza?
Chick
No.
Christy
So he's running and he has to get plastic.
Josh
No.
Christy
How do you pull that off?
Josh
You'd have a wet box.
Tom
Yeah.
Christy
You ever get a wet box?
Tom
All right, that's not what I meant.
Josh
Pat. You disgusting man.
Chick
Either.
Tom
We've already established which orifice is involved here.
Chick
Do you hear?
Tom
I think. And we're not going to do a double penetration.
Chick
Do you remember what he said yesterday? And now he's like, nobody's saying anything about a wet box.
Christy
He got the button twice yesterday, you jerk.
Chick
Remember?
Tom
There we go. Christy.
Josh
That is fun.
Tom
It's world record.
Josh
Christy. If you see him, please congratulate him for us.
Jeff
I will.
Tom
How's this pizza, by the way?
Jeff
Very good that they have a chicken pizza that's just out of this world. Grilled chicken. Oh, don't even.
Chick
And barbecue sauce instead of pizza sauce that has.
Jeff
No. This is like a garlicky sauce.
Chick
Don't you think that has its place? Barbecue chicken pizza.
Tom
Oh, yes.
Josh
It's not for me.
Chick
Okay.
Josh
Yeah.
Chick
All right.
Josh
Yeah. But I appreciate that it's out there for other.
Chick
Okay, all right.
Tom
What is your. What is your typical. If you are getting pizza, what's the one you go for?
Josh
I will get your classics. Boy. I usually get a works, so it has all the meats, all the veggies. But I know Tom doesn't want to hear this. It has been multiple years since I've ordered a pizza.
Chick
Multiple years.
Josh
Yes.
Chick
Huh.
Jeff
Treat yourself.
Josh
Yeah.
Christy
He's gone a different way.
Josh
It makes zero sense that Tom still makes pizza jokes with me.
Tom
Do you go.
Josh
Do you go out for pizza, man. Maybe.
Chick
Let's say.
Josh
No, I don't.
Chick
Let's say this. You and one of those whores you're dating. Yeah. Where do you go for dinner? Yeah.
Christy
If you have a whore over and she wants a pizza.
Chick
Yeah. Yeah.
Christy
You must get it.
Tom
How dare you say about this, about.
Chick
Looking at the whore. You tell she's hungry. So where do you.
Josh
First off? She. We don't eat first. I'll tell you that.
Tom
I tell you that now. Are you kind enough to honor her ethnicity?
Chick
What?
Josh
I see what you're saying.
Tom
I do certain.
Josh
Like one night will we have Mexican and another night.
Tom
Exactly.
Josh
I don't know.
Chick
And that goes for too.
Josh
What do redheads eat?
Jeff
August? I don't know.
Chick
Oh, I see. Tonight.
Tom
There's no way this could go a good direction.
Josh
I thought redhead was pretty safe.
Chick
Yeah, that's.
Tom
That's probably the only one that is safe. I don't even think you can shout out certain types of food.
Chick
We have to eat Chinese tonight. I can see.
Tom
Okay. All right.
Josh
Why is she Jewish?
Christy
Turn the pizza on its side.
Tom
Okay. I think we've. We've attempted to get some comedy out of this and failed.
Chick
Think your tongue's long? I'll tell you.
Jeff
All right.
Tom
You know what? Who has long tongues? Your shoes. Which reminds me of orange insoles, ladies and gentlemen.
Chick
I.
Josh
You know, the world's longest tongue on a shoe. Yeah. I don't know how helpful that would be to anybody.
Christy
It wouldn't.
Chick
It wraps around my ankle.
Tom
What would be helpful, of course, would be a nice insult.
Josh
I see he's got somewhere to be. If you have back pain, hip pain, or knee pain, it affects your daily routine. Right now you might just have a thin, floppy do nothing. No.
Christy
Glock of sticking cash.
Tom
Apparently.
Josh
It'S a liner. That liner in your shoe right now. Not good.
Chick
No, it's a limp noodle.
Josh
Yes, please get orangeinsouls.com especially if you work on your feet all day, you're putting stress on your body. Orange insoles offer arch support and a deep heel cup. That works better in your shoes. To help support your body. They give you better alignment and alleviate that discomfort you have find the right fit for you. Well, I wear work boots. Hey, they've got them. I wear sneakers. They've got them for you too. I'm a very fancy businessman and my dress shoes keep me a movin'well. You're gonna need orange insoles for those. Oh, I'm a pretty lady with lady shoes. Well, I'm sure they've got them for you too, ma'am. Go to orangeinsouls.com and take their quiz. Let them know what you wear, what you do and they will get the right size for you. And by the way, they arrive true to size. You don't have to cut them and they carry sizes 15 plus. Go to orangeinsouls.com today for free shipping. Plus orange insoles come with a 60 day. We want you to be happy, guaranteed. So you've got two months to realize, my gosh, why have I not been wearing these my entire Life? That's orange inSouls.com Feel Better. Do more.
Tom
Thank you very much, Josh. I'm really disappointed.
Jeff
Why?
Tom
Josh doesn't like, doesn't eat pizza anymore?
Josh
No, I mean I just, I never really have had. I never really ate as much pizza as you assumed.
Tom
Come up with something else. Also coming up, we have the longest tongue on a lady and snake sperm. In the news of all things. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Chick
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Josh Arnold, Pat Godwin. There's Christy Lee.
Jeff
Hey.
Chick
Hello. I'm Chick. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studio. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Hello, Tom.
Tom
Hello. Chick McGee at the orangendsouls.com sports desk just had a fascinating story about one of Christie's neighbors setting a world record for the fastest marathon, official marathon, while holding a pizza. Awesome. Yeah, it's very exciting. And turns out one of Christie's daughters actually worked at that particular pizza joint.
Jeff
That's correct.
Tom
Mr. Michael Cole ran the mill race marathon 3 hours 14 minutes while carrying a full size pizza box. A 16 inch cheese pizza.
Josh
Well, that's a fast marathon too, isn't it?
Jeff
Yeah.
Josh
I don't know much about it, but.
Chick
Three hours, the world record's just under two hours, I think.
Tom
So this guy usually finishes under three hours. But he said that obviously the pizza made it a little bit difficult, I would think because you can't carry it like a book under your arm.
Josh
Right.
Tom
Upright.
Josh
But I hope he switched arms every now like a platter.
Christy
Yes, sir.
Tom
Yeah, I wonder. It doesn't say. Did he take a bite of the pizza when he finished?
Josh
Yeah. I wonder who I got to eat it.
Jeff
I don't. It would be cold, rainy. Well, it was cold and wet. Yeah.
Chick
You know where he was taking the pizza? Where to the woman with the world's largest longest tongue.
Josh
Let's get a load of this broad.
Chick
California woman with the world's longest tongue recently showed off some of the tricks she can perform with her. As it says here, massive mouth muscle, including removing Jenga blocks.
Josh
I wonder if she pokes them through. She must.
Chick
She must.
Jeff
Massive mouth.
Chick
Chanel Tapper, 34, has held the Guinness world record for the longest tongue for over 15 years.
Josh
Oh, wow. Okay.
Chick
Her tongue measures 3.8 inches from the tip of her tongue to her lips. 3.8 inches.
Tom
So when she sticks it out, it's sticking out.
Josh
Probably goes below her chin.
Tom
Why are you giving me that look?
Chick
I'm. I'm not.
Josh
Yeah, well, here she is. Oh, yeah. She's poking.
Chick
Oh, yeah. Oh, hey.
Oscar
She kind of licks them from the side.
Jeff
No, no, no, no. I don't need to see that.
Chick
I think we should.
Tom
It is. It's snake like, you know what?
Josh
Am I the only one that doesn't think it looks that long?
Chick
Well, that initial snaking out was pretty long.
Josh
It's not that impressive to me.
Chick
And I think. You think when she measures it, they can pull on it?
Jeff
Oh, God.
Tom
Yeah. See, now in that photograph, it looks really long.
Chick
I can touch my nose with my tongue.
Tom
I mean, my. That's Golden Retriever esque length.
Josh
Yeah.
Chick
Can you touch your nose with your tongue, Josh?
Jeff
God, no.
Josh
No. Oh, you are. You're getting the septum.
Jeff
Look at you.
Chick
Oh, yeah.
Jeff
I have a little bird dung, ladies.
Chick
I don't know. Why is that guy so popular? I don't know. He's sitting in the back booth licking his eyebrows.
Tom
Oh, yeah.
Chick
How about that joke, huh?
Tom
Okay, well, that's amazing, Chick. I didn't know you had that skill.
Chick
I like to keep it under on the down low.
Tom
All right?
Chick
I want them to love me for me, not my tongue.
Jeff
Fair enough.
Chick
Thank you. Thank you, Christy.
Jeff
Yes.
Tom
Okay, well, is that. Is that sports?
Chick
Yes, it is.
Tom
Okay, thank you very much. We have our special sports. As they say, outro chess. Rocky, this is what you partner for.
Chick
Wherever you go, whatever you do, always be a good sport.
Tom
Well, wait for Christy. I want to remind you, we do have our special pop up store. It's going to be taken down, I think, today or tomorrow. I'm not sure. T shirts available, including those honoring our broadcast from last week from Cincinnati and Toledo. Those charity shirts are still available. Bobandtom.com is the place to find them. We have a whole bunch of stuff available for a brief period of time. So if you're looking for something fun. Please check that out. Right now, we are checking out Kristi Lee. What else is happening over there?
Jeff
Jessica Simpson is in the news. She has revealed an unusual technique to improve her singing voice. Ms. Simpson shared a candid video on social media recently in which she says she drinks snake sperm at the recommendation of her vocal coach.
Chick
Huh, really?
Jeff
The clip shows Ms. Simpson taking a swig of what appears to be a Chinese herbal drink and explaining that at first she did not know what it was, but that her vocal coach told her to drink it. She says someone researched the drink for her and told her it contained snake sperm.
Josh
Oh, so that's just one element ingredient I got. Boy.
Jeff
Yeah, because that'd be hard to.
Christy
Came right from the tap.
Josh
Still, what the hell could that do?
Tom
How do you get it?
Jeff
Well, you take it to dinner first. I don't know.
Tom
Now, does she drink it or just spread it all over her face and boobs?
Josh
I believe she drinks it.
Jeff
She says she drinks it. Tom, you naughty, dirty man.
Chick
I don't guess the hardest part would be getting the snake's legs apart because.
Tom
Oh, no.
Chick
No legs.
Jeff
Kids, do they have a. I don't know how snakes reproduce.
Josh
They have a flap and that will kind of open up and then whatever it is will come out.
Jeff
Gotcha. Okay.
Chick
And when the flap opens it.
Josh
Yes. It sounds like the day the earth stood still.
Chick
That's right. Oh, hello, Gort. Stuff like that.
Tom
Well, here's a picture of her downing this stuff. And then one of the comments is, will snake oil add more strength to her already very powerful bone crushing thighs?
Jeff
What?
Tom
I'm just reading the comments on. On, as you would say, insta.
Christy
She got real healthy, stopped her drinking and she's working out.
Tom
Yeah, she looks great.
Jeff
She's getting divorced. Oh, yeah.
Josh
My favorite Jessica Simpson was bigger Jessica Simpson.
Chick
Yep.
Christy
That was a hot Jessica.
Josh
Really, really hot Chicken of the sea Jessica.
Christy
Remember that?
Josh
Yeah, but I mean, that all came out as what? That was all debunked.
Tom
Oh, really?
Josh
Yeah, she was faking it. The producers made her look stupid.
Tom
Oh.
Chick
Buffalo wings and all that.
Josh
And she. Yeah, and she really was. She's actually quite bright.
Jeff
Yes, she is. She's got an empire now.
Josh
And she went along with it. Admittedly. Yeah.
Chick
I don't know if quite could be.
Josh
Used, but I think so.
Chick
Really.
Tom
Well, thank you. If you're just joining us, this is the Bob and Tom show. We are coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Chick McGee's at the Orange Insoles Dot Com Sports desk. Christy Lee is right over there at the Silac insurance news desk. Christy, what else is happening?
Jeff
A woman in Florida has been arrested for allegedly attacking a man with a conch shell. That's right. Conch bonking. Investigators charge Nikki Quartermaine was very intoxicated when she got into a verbal domestic related argument with the 63 year old victim around 11:30am Saturday.
Tom
Whoa.
Jeff
She started early.
Tom
So she's. It's 11:30 in the morning on a Saturday. She's already drunk.
Jeff
Very intoxicated.
Tom
Okay.
Jeff
After the argument, the woman took her clothes off and started to break everything in the victim St. Petersburg residence.
Josh
That's either. She's either drunk super early or way late.
Tom
Yes, and both. Taking off her all of her clothes and then throwing stuff.
Jeff
Well, she didn't want to get anything on him. When the victim got to her, got her to go outside. The woman allegedly grabbed a tin to a 12 inch dried conch shell with barnacles and swung it at him multiple times before throwing it. The woman was taken into custody for felony battery with a deadly weapon. Weapon.
Tom
The guy kept it from hitting him. He conch block.
Christy
You got this.
Tom
I can't even say.
Josh
You know what? I say we wait 30 seconds, talk about this a little bit, and we come back.
Tom
Okay. A 10 to 12 inch. How do you pronounce it?
Jeff
Conch.
Tom
Conch. Okay.
Jeff
A conch shell.
Tom
But the guy fended it off.
Jeff
Correct.
Tom
So he conk. Blocked it.
Josh
Yes.
Christy
Very nice.
Tom
Really, I should write these down, put.
Chick
Them in a book. That'd be great.
Tom
Yeah. So did just the one or did he get. I'm so sorry. Did he get shelled?
Christy
Should have stuck with just the conflict.
Tom
I. Yeah, well, I sheldom do jokes about. There you go. CC Life. Her. Her mug shot is lovely.
Jeff
Oh, is it? Well, if you're drinking at 11:30 in.
Tom
The morning, the police described her as, quote, very intoxicated at 11:30. Josh does raise a good point. This may technically still be Friday night for her.
Jeff
Boy, man, that's a hell of a.
Josh
That's a. That's a long run. Yeah.
Tom
Isn't the old thing you're supposed to take your clothes off if you're having an argument to have the argument stop.
Josh
You would think that would not the.
Chick
Yeah, I know. When you start arguing, if you start naked, you get dressed when you're arguing. Yeah.
Josh
Oftentimes getting naked is a bit of an olive branch.
Chick
That's true.
Jeff
And you have great makeup sex right there.
Josh
You can.
Tom
Okay.
Jeff
An orthopedic surgeon in Australia was reprimanded.
Chick
And I love this joke.
Jeff
This is not a joke.
Chick
I don't know how the kangaroos behave. Isn't that the punchline? Okay, never mind.
Jeff
Boy, this is rough. We're sharing a photo of a swastika tattoo that was photographed on a comatose patient's penis.
Josh
Oh, geez.
Christy
It's got a lot going on there.
Jeff
Yeah.
Josh
So obviously this is crazy and odd. And the guy went, hey, I gotta share this picture.
Tom
Yeah. My buddies aren't gonna believe it. This guy's got a swastika on his member.
Jeff
Queensland civil and administrative tribunal said the man who was in a coma when the photo was taken was undergoing treatment when the surgeon noticed the swastika Venus tattoo.
Tom
Can I do a joke just for chick? I guess I know what the guy's name was. Adolph Dickel Gruber.
Jeff
He photographed it, shared it with other treating practitioners on a messaging app.
Chick
Adolf's name was Schickelgruber. It was from Austria, I believe. Believe he used to put up wallpaper hanger, wasn't he?
Tom
Dickel Gruber. You see?
Chick
Yeah.
Jeff
The tribunal ultimately ruled his penis finding of misconduct was sufficient. And find him $6,300.
Josh
Oh. What if the guy was Australia money?
Tom
I wonder if the guy was uncircumcised. You don't want to give it too much thought here.
Chick
I think European they would be. It would be totally intact, I would think, right?
Josh
Most.
Chick
Yeah. Wasn't Jimmy Stewart totally intact because he grew up in England or something?
Tom
Oh, I didn't know that.
Chick
Right. Yeah, I think so.
Tom
I thought he was from Indiana. Pennsylvania.
Chick
Is he?
Tom
Yeah.
Jeff
I have no idea.
Tom
Favorite phone call.
Chick
Far off land.
Tom
So this guy's got a swastika on his male member.
Josh
Yeah, that's. I mean, there's a lot.
Tom
I bet it's hard finding white condoms.
Josh
White.
Christy
Trying to think that one through.
Chick
I don't see.
Tom
He's a racist. He never meant that. You're. You're familiar with the meaning of this was. Yes.
Christy
Oh, yeah.
Josh
No, don't blame us.
Tom
Don't lash out over here. Yeah. He was uncircumcised because he wanted to have a hood. How about that?
Josh
Okay.
Jeff
This is why I hesitated to do this.
Chick
Because he wanted. Why I didn't. I didn't hear the last hood. Don't do any follow ups, okay?
Josh
Not all KKK are Nazis and I don't want you to ever forget it. Can you imagine the guy taking that.
Chick
Argument and not all Nazis are k. Kkk.
Josh
But hopefully there's a room in hell.
Tom
For all of them. Right now, it's time to introduce something brand new. We have now the official beverage of the Bob and Tom show. And Josh is here to help me out and explain this to everybody all the time.
Chick
This is so delicious and easy to. It's unbelievable.
Tom
Tom, I think this is gonna take. I think this is gonna revolutionize coffee at the office. And God knows we need that here.
Josh
Yeah, well, how many times have we all gone in there? And the Keurig was either not working right or we had to wait forever. And half of us couldn't get our coffee during this.
Tom
Not to mention the nastiness. If you think about what's going through there, I would hate to take a swath of that and put it under a microscope. I'm not sure what this is, Doctor, but I've never seen one before. It seems to be a caffeine spirocate.
Josh
As you can see, I have a Java House peel and pour pod right here.
Jeff
Oh, right in here.
Josh
Looks like a K cup. Yeah, but way better. Way easier. Way nicer to the environment. All you do. While you guys. If you guys weren't going to partake in this for whatever reason, what are you doing now? You're waiting in line? I'm getting to it. I knew.
Tom
I knew I should never.
Christy
You're not that strong, but it was easy to get off for you.
Josh
Very easy to open. So, yes, these do not go into any machine. I just simply peel and pour. You open up the Java House pod there, pour it right into the hot water, and voila. I've got that. Yeah, it's all cold brew, but. So it's ready to go?
Jeff
Yeah.
Josh
Colombian medium roast.
Chick
I mean, you actually just did that while you were talking.
Josh
What did it take, three seconds?
Chick
Yeah.
Jeff
Doesn't mean it has to be cold. You can drink it hot or drink it cold. It's just the way it's.
Tom
This is from Java House now, the official coffee and refreshment of the Bob and Tom show. I'm about to make myself an iced tea, thank you very much. I gotta get the ice machine back on over there. Now, if you're not in the mood for a coffee, they do have, of course, peel and pour pods for cheese lattes, energy drinks, hydration drinks, and I believe you said your favorite was the hot cocoa.
Josh
It's literally the best hot cocoa I've ever had.
Tom
So you don't need a machine. You just grab water, hot or cold, and make your beverage. Javahouse.com is where you want to find out about this. This is going to be revolutionizing the office coffee green room. Go to bobandtom.com by the way, on your order, just add bobandtom.com and get 25% off your order. Java House J A V a. Once again, javahouse.com. the promo code is Bob and Tom, all one word. Java House is now the official coffee and refreshment of the Bob and Tom Show.
Josh
This is confident but unassuming.
Tom
Oh, there you go. Not sure what that means.
Josh
No one is.
Tom
Okay, good.
Josh
It is delicious.
Tom
We'll have to work on a jingle, Pat.
Chick
Okay.
Tom
Java, Java. Java House Golf.
Josh
Do you think they missed an opportunity, though, by not calling it Java the Hut?
Tom
Maybe they could. Maybe they could change the name of their retail stores.
Josh
Oh, they're texting me.
Jeff
Oh, yeah.
Tom
No. Okay.
Josh
This film is very litigious.
Tom
I see. Curse. And yet to the point. Thank you very much. Coming up. Christy, what have you got over there?
Jeff
Coming up, we have. If you're into cold plunging. Do you know what that is?
Josh
I've done it once.
Jeff
Have you? Well, we're going to talk about that. It, it may be good for you. Also, we have to get to our great tits bird.
Josh
The great titsbird.
Jeff
Yes.
Josh
Yeah, the bird is like a titmouse or.
Tom
Right, Right.
Chick
When I was a kid when I heard Titsburg feelers, I lost my mom.
Josh
As opposed to Pittsburgh.
Chick
Pittsburgh Steelers. No, it's the Titsburg feelers.
Tom
I see about the, the, the bird known as the great tits. Everybody's. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Pat
There's more of the show coming up.
Chick
Book your next vacation with Christy Lee and Colette. Visit England, Scotland and Wales this September 28th.
Pat
Visit bobandtom.com for details. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Tom
Town with jazz.
Chick
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and Tom is enjoying the official beverage of the Bob and Tom Show. Java House. Cold brew coffee. Check that out, man.
Tom
I keep thinking I'm trying to get a jingle out of this.
Josh
I'm thinking, can you come up with one of those pretentious phrases that really means nothing for. For.
Tom
Oh, I love the way you do that. What did you say before? When those people are drinking wine and they go. It's unassuming with hints of.
Josh
It's playful without being rude.
Tom
Rude, yes, yes. Yeah, yeah. No, I, I would have to think as pretentious as I am, I really have to go deep together.
Josh
Well, That's a, that's a special type of douchery.
Tom
Yeah, those wine guys just.
Chick
What a wonderful nose.
Tom
Hints of tangerine and foot odor.
Chick
Exquisite.
Tom
I went to one of those places and I got the cheese plate and it was this little tiny piece of wood and it had four cheeses on it and some basically inedible crackers. I don't know, these sawdust crackers, salt free, taste free. And honestly, one of the cheeses, if I had ever eaten a cat turd, it would have tasted like that.
Josh
Yes. Cheese gets ridiculous.
Tom
Yeah, they really get by with that's the Emperor's New clothes of food.
Josh
No one likes some of those cheeses but they pretend to.
Tom
Yeah. Do you have any more crackers or, or possibly a scrubber for my tongue. I'd like to get the, the, the taste of this cheese off like a.
Christy
Water cracker or melba toast or not.
Tom
These were like thick, I think.
Josh
Heart attack from the Civil War.
Tom
I think I broke my teeth on them. Otherwise the food was lovely. Welcome Back to the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tonight program. We urge you to go to bob and tom.com to you just click on that and send us some emails. And of course our email address is Bob and Tom obandtom.com we've got Mike Mark in the other room going through the emails looking for old phrases for moms and dads and grandpas. I really do enjoy them so please send them our way. Also, I'll remind you, we have our little pop up shop. I think, I'm not sure is it up just today or today and tomorrow we have some shirts from our trips to Toledo and in Cincinnati, big charity shirts. We're gonna make a donation coming up at the end of the week. So if you want to get one, please do. And some other stuff is also posted there, but it'll only be there briefly and I'd like to say hello to everybody on their spring break. Thanks for taking the time to check out our show while you're on your break. I look that way and I see Christy Lee. She's not just anywhere. She's in that special chair at the SILAC insurance news desk. What's happening?
Jeff
And I'm so happy to be here. Researchers are saying those cold plunges are not just a fad, they can actually change your cells and make them more resilient.
Josh
Wow.
Jeff
Scientists at the University of Ottawa conducted A study involving 10 healthy young men who underwent cold water immersion at 57.2 degrees Fahrenheit for one hour across seven consecutive days.
Chick
What's the temperature? I'm sorry.
Jeff
57.2.
Chick
For an hour?
Jeff
Yes.
Chick
Well, that seems a little steep, man.
Jeff
Blood samples.
Tom
Have you done this?
Jeff
Christy, I have not done cold plunging. Have you?
Christy
I just do the cold shower. I'm at 25 seconds.
Jeff
25 seconds.
Josh
That's all I can do every morning. I mean, they say that's so good for you.
Christy
Yeah.
Josh
I've done a cold plunge. Not for an hour.
Christy
What's the temperature of, like, a cold shower?
Jeff
I have no idea.
Tom
That's pretty cold. But it's not.
Christy
Not.
Tom
It's not as cold as when those people dive in the ice and.
Jeff
Well, yeah, it's not like polar bear.
Chick
The closest I get is I take a nice hot shower and then get out of the shower and stand in the. In the bathroom and it's like 69 degrees.
Tom
Yeah, I agree completely.
Chick
It's really good. It gets you going.
Tom
Is this healthy for older folks?
Jeff
Blood samples showed repeated cold exposure significantly improves autophagic function.
Chick
Oh, yeah, your autophagic function.
Josh
You don't want that going wrong.
Jeff
Recycling system, which then allows cells to bal. Better manage stress.
Chick
And you got to be careful about, how you say, phage and function.
Jeff
Yeah. And they also suggest cold plunges could help even prevent the onset of various.
Tom
Diseases like frostbite, the common cold.
Josh
What I did had to have been close to freezing, and it was not. It was for a minute.
Chick
Yeah, right.
Josh
It was for a minute. And so this is interesting because they raised the temperature, but you're in there for an hour.
Jeff
Yeah.
Tom
You know what eases my stress? Properly heated water. How about you, Chip?
Chick
Absolutely. Nice.
Tom
Nice hot shower.
Chick
And not only probably heated, but soft water.
Jeff
Oh, I like soft soap.
Christy
Doesn't work right, though.
Tom
Where are you?
Chick
Yes, it works better. Are you on your soft water? You were.
Josh
Because I never grew up with it.
Chick
Right.
Josh
And. But I didn't have hard water growing. I just had. This wasn't an issue where I grew up.
Chick
And the soft water installer came over and said, you're going to love this. And you were.
Josh
I always hated soft water because it felt oily and weird. And I've grown to like it. Although my soft water. My water softener, sorry, has not been working for about a year.
Tom
Have you put salt in it?
Josh
Yes, yes. And I've been calling plumbers like crazy.
Tom
So does your toilet look like you had explosive diarrhea in it?
Josh
No, but my. Some of my. Like my sink. I have one of those. Well, faucets. You Know what I'm talking about? Like a well spout or whatever that has gotten some hard scale on it. But otherwise no issues. But no plumber will come fix it because they say they didn't like. They don't. I don't. We don't. We don't do that model or we'll put it in a plumber whose number I lost. So this probably one plumber did finally give me advice.
Chick
Oh.
Josh
And I felt as dumb as a rock because. Do you have the instruction book? I go, yeah, yeah. He goes, Is there an 800 number there? I go, yeah. And he goes, you're supposed to call that and they'll help you out. I went, oh, whoops.
Jeff
And you never did that.
Josh
Not yet I haven't. Yeah, I kind of don't care. But I do. I don't know.
Tom
I've got a consumer tip for you.
Josh
It's nothing I should worry about. I shouldn't have to worry about with my water's softer hard.
Chick
Oh, you should. I'm sorry. That's where you. You live in.
Josh
I don't like it.
Tom
Josh, Josh. Josh is hiding something today.
Chick
Yeah.
Tom
There's something bothering him deep down. I can tell.
Jeff
Oh, God.
Tom
He made the big confession about not really liking pizza.
Josh
No, no, no. I love pizza. I don't get it that often.
Chick
Is it because I told you you'd.
Tom
Be in a better mood about my.
Christy
Oh, this isn't gonna go well.
Tom
There are.
Josh
You know, I have. I have to appreciate. Sometimes you just want to poke a bear.
Chick
You know what? I.
Christy
This is one of those times.
Tom
You've seen his eyes.
Chick
I ordered dogs.
Tom
He explained to me last week what he doesn't like me to do, so I just did it on purpose.
Josh
Sometimes you do want to see what happens if you hit the beehive with a stick.
Tom
Exactly.
Chick
Are you still upset because I told you about my ice maker not working in my practically brand new refrigerator? I think that's why you're upset.
Josh
I don't remember that upsetting me.
Chick
I was just mentioning it so I could get somebody to come over and fix it.
Tom
The. Here's my consumer tip. First of all, if any kind of appliance, you can Google it and get them and get the manual. Now you don't even have to keep the manual.
Josh
Yeah, yeah. Luckily, I have the manual for this and I did all the troubleshooting that was in the manual.
Tom
And then typically it's someone on YouTube that can show you how to do stuff.
Josh
Yeah. I could not find the model that I have On.
Tom
But I made the mistake of buying the service where you call them up and they tell you what to do and I. This is great. It was like $45.
Chick
What?
Tom
Yeah, I had a problem with this ice machine anyway, so I, you, you sign up for this service. Oh, this is great. You get the guy on the phone. I talked to the guy for off and on for 20 minutes and his advice didn't work. And then I ended up not noticing. A while back I was getting billed $45 every month.
Chick
Oh, yeah. You're in a club.
Jeff
Oh, nice.
Tom
Yeah, yeah. That's a scam. That. Don't do that.
Chick
No, it's not a scam. You signed up for something.
Tom
I thought it was just $45 to talk to and then the advice he gave me didn't work.
Jeff
Well, that.
Chick
In your experience, that was a bad.
Jeff
Yeah, yeah.
Josh
Well, no, it just didn't work for him.
Chick
No.
Tom
But the thing is I'm not going to have. I don't have to call an appliance repairman every month and get.
Chick
You might have to.
Josh
Right.
Tom
Oh, yeah. I didn't want that appliance if you have to. Yeah, yeah. By the way, I'm just saying be careful. I didn't know that it was.
Chick
Can I use your club number to call about my ice maker?
Tom
I quit. You quit the club after three months and pay it. So now I paid almost 150 for bad advice. I could have bought a new ice machine.
Chick
Did you actually call up and successfully cancel something of that nature?
Tom
Yeah, I did. Yeah.
Chick
Wow. You're today's. You're an unsung hero. Yeah, that normally doesn't happen.
Josh
There are folk songs written about that.
Chick
Yes.
Tom
By the way, don't you hate it when you try to. If you try to buy something on Amazon and you can't figure out how to buy just one, they, they want you to sign up for.
Chick
Yeah, right there.
Jeff
There's that little thing. It says subscribe one time.
Chick
One time purchase. No. Yeah.
Tom
I was trying to buy new poop bags for my dog yesterday and I.
Josh
Admitted they do put the subscribe and save option first, but one little scroll down.
Chick
No, no, no.
Tom
That was at the end of the page. It was like, I don't know.
Chick
Or you can do like I do. I, I, I order two poop bags every day.
Josh
Oh, wow.
Chick
I know where they are. I don't have to worry if I've lost them. They are delivered.
Tom
In all truth, the number one one that I was looking for a particular type. These biodegradable dog poop bags. Number one was a pack of 2,000.
Christy
That's a lot.
Tom
That's.
Chick
That seems like a lot of poop.
Josh
But I thought about Second Garage.
Tom
I thought about it for a while. Let's see, three dogs, at least two poops a day. You know something?
Josh
Yeah.
Tom
Isn't that many, but you do. You've got a big storage space in your garage. What's all that stuff? Car parts? No, no, no. Those are dog poop bags. Well, thank you very much. What's coming up, Christy Lee?
Jeff
Well, we did the cold plunge. We're going to talk about. Kermit the Frog has an interesting job. We have Paddington in the news and a self cooling drink can.
Tom
This is revolutionary.
Chick
It is.
Tom
Yeah.
Chick
Are you excited about this?
Tom
It's interesting.
Chick
All right.
Tom
This is a real big. This is a real big deal. Okay. Coming up, and also we got the story about the bird known as the big. What's it called?
Jeff
Great Tits.
Tom
The Great Tits bird?
Jeff
Yeah.
Tom
Are we sure it's plural?
Christy
I don't think that's.
Tom
Yeah, that's the name of the bird. It is.
Chick
Why don't we call.
Josh
Yeah, I think it might be the great Tit bird.
Chick
What about woodpeckers? Why don't we call them Great Knockers? Huh? Great knockers. Knockers on that bird.
Tom
As you can see, we're children. We're coming right back. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom show show.
Pat
Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Catch any part of the show you missed later today on our YouTube channel.
Tom
Special iHeartRadio app.
Chick
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Pat Godwin. Hey, keyboard song coming up.
Jeff
Sure.
Chick
Boy, I'd like that Java House jingle. Oh, there you go. Whatever you need. The official beverage of the Bob and Tom Show.
Jeff
Do you have one?
Tom
One.
Christy
Give me three seconds.
Jeff
Why did you bring it up?
Chick
There it is. There's Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk. Pinching Pat. I think she touched me. I think she's sweet on him. There's Jeff Osk.
Oscar
Hello, sir.
Chick
Hello. There's Josh Arnold. Hi, I'm Chick McGee at the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. Tom looked confused about something and misreading saw.
Tom
Reading a letter here. A couple things. First off, I welcome Jeffrey Oski to the show. One of my favorite comedians, Jeff did a very nice job in Cincinnati and Toledo.
Josh
Oh, yes.
Tom
It's always a pleasure to see you, sir. You have a colorful background.
Chick
Sure. All right.
Tom
From A fun family.
Josh
Yeah.
Tom
I hear great things about your dad.
Josh
Yeah.
Tom
And your brother.
Oscar
Yeah.
Tom
I was just talking to a friend of your brother's, and he was telling me he helped build the giant slide you guys put on up.
Josh
Yeah.
Tom
From a house, a cabin on the lake, and you guys built, like, this gigantic slide. It's just amazing.
Oscar
It's shouldn't be on a normal house.
Tom
Now, the reason I bring it up, we've been getting a lot of.
Jeff
Get a permit for that.
Oscar
Shut up. As long as we don't ever sell the house, we should be okay.
Tom
We've been getting a lot of emails. We've asked people about colorful phrases from their families, which I find very interesting. Do you have any catchphrases from your family that. That you recall that are interesting?
Josh
Now, Jeff's laughing because he did share some off the air in the green room. Oh, don't share them now.
Jeff
Yeah, Jeff's family and. And Chick and myself, we kind of all grew up the same way, so we have some. Yeah. Colorful.
Tom
Yeah. My father. Your dad was a supreme court guy, Much like. He would say G.D. just like me. Very popular. Popular with him.
Jeff
That was popular.
Tom
Yeah. Never heard him use the S word, the F word, ever.
Jeff
Really?
Tom
My sister once used the C word in front of my mother. I thought she was gonna faint. She said, does that mean what I think it means?
Jeff
Oh, you lived in such a little. Wonderful.
Josh
Would rather me hear. Would rather me say the F word than GD Yeah.
Christy
That's a big one.
Josh
So that's in my head.
Tom
And that's true on the radio video.
Chick
GD Is a big one.
Tom
People find that very offensive. But these phrases are things like, here's what. Here's one someone sent into us. Every time they were taking a family picture, her dad would say, you got to have this for the funeral.
Josh
Oh, yeah.
Tom
Or whenever my grandmother wanted to get somewhere, she'd say, gotta get moving. Rigor mortis is setting in. That kind of thing. These. I love these. And here's what I never heard before yesterday. Tougher than woodpecker lips, if you think about it.
Josh
Funny.
Jeff
Yeah.
Tom
Woodpecker lips would be tough if woodpeckers had lips.
Jeff
Chick said they have a spring in their mouth or something.
Chick
Shock absorbers.
Jeff
That's it.
Tom
But that leads us to this first story. You need to explain what this is. This is not an obscene expression. This is science.
Jeff
It's a distinctive bird known as the great tit, with a black head and neck, prominent white.
Tom
You don't have to get your mouth all full of fluid. Great tit is the name of the bird.
Chick
She just said that.
Jeff
What the hell do you want?
Tom
She was trying to get. Get by. By lowering the volume.
Josh
We heard you, Christy. What's going on with this bird?
Jeff
New research has found, Josh, that exposure to too much light at night disturbs the great tits when breeding. Is that better?
Tom
See, I find them hot.
Chick
Josh, are you happy you did that?
Jeff
Are you happy now?
Tom
I find the more light the better. How about you, Jeff?
Chick
Oh, I agree.
Jeff
Swiss researchers compared the hatching rate of the great tits nesting in the forest with those in the city and discovered.
Tom
You ever see them in the forest?
Christy
I have, yeah, sometimes.
Tom
Sometimes you gotta go see them on a golf course late at night, in.
Josh
The middle of the day.
Jeff
They discovered that the great tits bird have fewer young in urban areas than in forests, indicating that light pollution affects the birds breeding.
Josh
Oh, my.
Jeff
Some are relatively well adapted. Researchers said the findings show how important though it is to preserve dark places, especially for less adaptable nocturnal creatures like bats and owls.
Tom
Does it say they can improve an ugly face?
Josh
Oh, they're pretty.
Jeff
The birds, Pretty.
Josh
Yeah.
Tom
They're primarily in Europe, right?
Jeff
I don't know.
Chick
You don't even know these. You don't even notice.
Christy
You can find them anywhere.
Jeff
Switzerland.
Chick
These birds have faces.
Josh
Oh, my gosh, these are cool. Yeah, they're aptly named. I just want to stare at them.
Oscar
We start doing bird feeders at our house.
Jeff
Yes.
Oscar
And so now we just make up.
Tom
Bird.
Oscar
Oh, what's that? Oh, it's a yellow bellied knob schnauzer.
Jeff
Yes.
Josh
That's one of my favorite things to do, Jeff. I do that too. And anytime we're like my brothers and I are fishing, we'll hear something. And one of. What do you think that is?
Oscar
Oh, that's red crested loon.
Josh
That's the. The Springfield, Missouri hibbit marks.
Tom
You know, you know how there are certain stories, you know exactly where you were when you heard about a certain thing? Yeah. Years later, you'll remember the first time I saw a pileated woodpecker. I know exactly where I was standing. I was in the phone in my kitchen. It was my first house. I looked out the window and a pilated woodpecker. First of all, they're gigantic and it looks just like woody woodpecker.
Josh
Yeah, they're amazing.
Tom
And I didn't. I don't. Because I. I had never seen even a picture of one. And look. Oh, my God. Whoever I was talking to. Oh, my God, there's woody woodpecker right outside my window.
Jeff
That one slammed last week into the sliding glass door. Scared me to death. Well, see, they know I'm afraid he's never going to come back.
Chick
No, there's. They know there's some entity in that house.
Josh
Right.
Jeff
They're trying to get rid of me.
Chick
I didn't say that. Something.
Jeff
The new house. Yeah.
Chick
Have you ever heard of the blue footed booby?
Tom
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Jeff
That's Madagascar.
Chick
It's a heck of a bird.
Josh
Have you ever seen a Road Runner? Disappointing.
Jeff
Yes.
Tom
Yeah.
Jeff
Very tiny.
Josh
Yeah, Very small.
Chick
I'm gonna say spindly.
Tom
Yeah. I was so disappointed when. This is sad. It was just a few years ago that I found out penguins weren't 6ft tall.
Josh
How tall are they actually?
Tom
They're like little. They're like two or three feet.
Josh
But did we find out that there used to be man sized penguins?
Tom
Yeah, prehistorical.
Chick
In dinosaur times. They used also had incredibly giant jaws with razor like teeth. The way they penguins could eat a tyrannosaurus rex in 10 minutes.
Jeff
Really?
Josh
A flock? Yes.
Chick
Yeah.
Josh
They're like. They were the piranhas of the land.
Chick
Absolutely.
Tom
You're probably thinking I. I've noticed on the Bob and Tom show whenever you guys do a science story.
Chick
Huh.
Tom
It's really only because of the silly name.
Jeff
Yeah, exactly.
Tom
We're not doing a comprehensive study of birds or science because we're children.
Josh
But I'm telling you, the great tit bird is amazing looking. It's so cool.
Tom
I think I'm a bird nerd.
Josh
I love them.
Chick
I think we have a picture of the blue footed movie. We're still looking. Look at the blue feet.
Tom
And their feet. Their feet are a. What color? Blue. It's a bright sky blue.
Chick
Kind of, I'm gonna say Miami Dolphin blue.
Josh
That's a David Carradine blue.
Chick
Oh yeah, that's right.
Tom
Wouldn't his. Wouldn't that be it? Wouldn't David Carrion blue be a little darker in contrast? I say purple. What was the problem? Where wasn't it at NASCAR headquarters where all the birds were flying into the.
Jeff
Building at the hall of Fame?
Tom
What kind of birds were those?
Chick
Weren't you just done visiting there, Christy?
Jeff
The hall of Fame?
Chick
Yeah.
Jeff
No, I.
Chick
Isn't that why the birds crashed into the.
Josh
Oh no, she's like the antichrist. All these animals, you often see a rottweiler staring at you from the distance.
Oscar
I think they were starling.
Jeff
Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah.
Tom
Thousands of them were for some reason flying into the building and well I.
Jeff
Like to think the windows are so clean that they see the reflection of the woods and think that this was.
Tom
This was at a particular time. I'm not exactly sure.
Jeff
No, I'm talking about my house, where the pileated woodpecker hit the. And then he did. Then he went from there to the kitchen window and slammed into that. Not a real smart guy.
Tom
Oh, okay. Well, all those. All the beating about the face and head, probably.
Josh
They are the. They are the aged boxers of nature.
Tom
Now, do they. Do those fly in flocks?
Jeff
He was by himself.
Tom
Okay.
Chick
Of no more than 15.
Josh
That's in your book, right?
Chick
Yeah. Yeah. Great. Migratory birds, North America pick it up today.
Tom
Now, you know what you call a large flock of starlings flying toward the NASCAR building?
Jeff
No. What?
Tom
A Jonestown coming up. Do we have a song about pizza, pat?
Christy
I have 30 songs about pizza.
Tom
Okay.
Christy
Whatever you want.
Chick
Well, as long as you're happy about it.
Christy
No, I'm thrilled about it.
Tom
Play number 16.
Christy
You want that right now?
Tom
Nope, I want it when we come back.
Christy
You got it.
Chick
All right, I'm going to tell you about Simplisafe right now. What do you think of that? Simplisafe, the Do It Yourself home security system. We trust it here at the Bob and Tom studios. Look at those cameras out there in the hall. They're keeping an eye on all you employees, making sure you're not stealing.
Tom
We got them up front too, so we seized you coming in.
Chick
Traditional security systems only take action after somebody's already broken in. That is too late. That's right, class Active guard Outdoor protection is what Simply Safe has. They prevent break ins before they happen. SimpliSafe has AI powered cameras backed by live professional monitoring agents that monitor your property and detect suspicious activity if someone's lurking around or acting suspiciously. What the hell's that guy doing? Agents see and talk to them in real time. Can turn on spotlights and even call the police all before said lurker can get inside your home. And with Simply Safe, no long term contracts or cancellation fees. Monitoring plans start affordably at around a dollar a day. And SimpliSafe 60 days satisfaction guarantee or your money back. Visit simplisafetom.com to claim 50% off a new system and your first month free of professional monitoring plan. That's simplisafetom.com. remember, there's no safe like Simply Safe.
Tom
Thank you very much, Chick McGee. Coming up, a song from Mr. Godwin. We certainly will look forward to that. Also, a Paddington the Bear update of sorts. And we Have a self cooling drink can has been invented. Oh, this is pretty cool. This may revolutionize your. Your to go drinks. We'll find out all about it here in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios where this is the Bob and Tom Show.
Chick
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. How nice of you to join us, Tom.
Tom
I had to change shirts.
Josh
Sorry, most missed it. But Tom just laid on a wonderful quote movie quote on us.
Chick
Oh, yeah, it was.
Josh
It did not go unappreciated.
Tom
That's o. You're welcome. I had to change shirts. Sorry, Christy.
Chick
And wait.
Jeff
A little sweat.
Chick
Why did you.
Jeff
Little sweat problem.
Chick
You change shirts almost every day. Sweat or not though, right?
Tom
Yeah, I keep like.
Chick
Aren't you like Diana, Mr. Rogers?
Tom
I keep like 25 shirts a year.
Jeff
25, maybe more.
Chick
And they're. And they're. They're golf shirts now or. Because you like whatever long shirt. Yeah, well, don't say whatever.
Tom
I mean, I got. I've got long sleeves and closet in there.
Jeff
I haven't.
Tom
I got one of those hanging racks Godwin Steel shirts.
Oscar
Every event I have a Tom portion of my closet.
Jeff
Nice. Good for you.
Josh
Yeah.
Tom
I could describe the colors for you. Blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, black, black, black, black, black, blue, blue. Khaki. Khaki. Blue, blue, blue, black.
Jeff
Okay, yeah, fair enough.
Christy
That's pretty much it.
Tom
I. I really broke the mold. A couple days ago, I bought a striped shirt.
Jeff
What?
Josh
This is big new.
Tom
Are you gonna wear what? I don't know. I got home and I.
Chick
What's next? Polka dots?
Christy
I don't wear with the kinky boots.
Jeff
Oh, my gosh.
Tom
It's subtle.
Chick
But the striped shirt would look good with the boots.
Jeff
Golf.
Tom
Golf shirt. But it's. It's like black with dark gray stripes. No.
Josh
I bet that looks great.
Tom
I don't know, it's. I think it's just too. It's too car to be street for me. Does anyone get that reference?
Chick
By the way? This. This just in.
Tom
Oh, whoa.
Chick
Tom sneezing. That's right.
Tom
Well, thank you. I am enjoying my Java house tea, the new official beverage of the Bob and Tom show. It's delicious. Thank you very much.
Jeff
And easy.
Tom
I'm going to explain how we make this coming up in a second.
Chick
But first, even Tom can make. Tom can make a Java house drink with no assistance. That's how easy it is. Yes.
Jeff
You don't need somebody to come make your coffee.
Chick
Now, what's the deal with this cup? What do I do?
Tom
Well, here's the thing. I started reading about the germs in one of these Keurig machines and it's. I mean there's this. This is unbelievable. It's like the stuff that's in there you probably wouldn't find in the mobby parts of a whore in Thailand.
Jeff
Well, that was descriptive.
Josh
Oh, you found a horn Thailand. And that had mommy parts.
Tom
I think that is. That is a fine joke right there.
Christy
That's the line of the day.
Tom
There you go.
Chick
I think we're going to get some notes on today from somebody.
Tom
No, it's just. It's the poor and peel. I'll tell you about the poor and peel coming up. But right now a couple quick points of order. There's Chick McGee at the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. How are you now? Are you going to try to get. Is it going to be possible to get a torpedo bat? Are they going to be impossible to find?
Chick
I would think they're already impossible to find. If only we had someone who used to be in the business of sporting. Goes to Joshi. Well, can you turn us on to.
Josh
I can try. I don't know what kind of standing I'm in with the folks who makes them. Although Louisville Slugger absolutely has. Some of the Yankees were using Louisville Slugger.
Chick
They love us at the amount of business we've driven to the Louisville Slugger Museum in downtown Louisville and people making reservations left and right for the top of the bat the finest and over overhead rotational dining. Are you kidding me?
Tom
I heard it got stuck the day and it was only facing east.
Chick
That happens. That happens. They have a special Asian dinner when that.
Tom
Oh, really?
Jeff
The ballparks that way so that's good.
Tom
I'm not sure how to segue into anything, but.
Chick
Well, you just got here.
Tom
I gotta introduce. I gotta introduce Mr. Oscar over there.
Oscar
Oh, I thought of an old timey phrase my dad used to always say if you aren't ten minutes early, you're late.
Josh
Oh, that's Chick McGee's philosophy.
Tom
That's me too.
Josh
Tom's as well.
Chick
Lombardi, Woody Hayes. Same thing. When I say 4:00, I mean 3:45. Gentlemen.
Josh
Well, you got to learn those guys. You have to learn that immediately.
Chick
That's right.
Josh
Yeah.
Tom
But I've got, you know, my girls. Kelly always, you know will make it onto. I want to leave. I want to be at the airport two hours early for whatever.
Josh
Yeah.
Christy
No stress.
Chick
Yeah.
Tom
I want to be. I don't care there. I. I'll.
Chick
I like to get where I'm going. If I'm Going somewhere? I like to get there, you know, start the process. I don't like to wait. And maybe late.
Josh
Am I right? I don't mind waiting at an airport. I don't either.
Tom
Especially now. They've got WI Fi and they've got.
Josh
You can charge your phone, you got a nice drink, get there early.
Chick
It's really not bad.
Christy
Five shots.
Tom
No.
Christy
No one's gonna know.
Tom
And they. I can get my. I. That's where I get my shoes polished all the time.
Josh
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, where else can you.
Tom
These days, has anybody come up with a machine or. If you were at the airport, if you were wearing athletic shoes, that they could actually clean them on the spot and they'd be dry and everything right away?
Jeff
No, but that'd be great.
Oscar
They do that at the mall now. Like, they have dudes who will clean your sneakers while you wait.
Chick
What?
Oscar
Yeah, so they're trying off and they have, like, a cleaner they're trying to sell you, basically. Yeah, but they'll take your shoes off and scrub them and make them look.
Tom
Brand new because you're back in the day. You see movies and walk. They'll walk by. Hey, that's an excellent joke. No, but you also. You also have to buy a new case for your phone.
Christy
You gotta buy something.
Tom
Don't you have to wonder how certain ethnic groups end up with certain businesses?
Chick
Oh, I know.
Tom
It's true.
Josh
It is true.
Tom
Go get a pedicure and tell me you're not speaking Vietnamese half the time. Yes, it's a simple fact.
Josh
If you see a white guy running a blimpy in a Walmart, get a lottery ticket.
Tom
No disrespect to anybody, they're working hard. But if you look at. You see an old, old movie, and you walk through the train station, there are five guys shining shoes. Now there's just the one guy at the airport. So I always try to, you know, wear.
Jeff
How many times do you wear leather shoes?
Tom
This is the first day in a month I haven't.
Josh
Let me ask you this. Will you fly wearing certain shoes that you want shined?
Christy
Yeah, the brown ones. Right.
Josh
So you'll. You'll say, oh, I need to change my shoes because I want to get those shined at the airport.
Jeff
What if you're not going to wear them with your outfits when you get there? That's a waste.
Tom
I don't care about outfits. Are you kidding me? Look at me.
Christy
We don't call them outfits.
Tom
I don't. I. I have nothing but black. Black jeans, blue jeans, Black shoes.
Jeff
Then why do you have brown shoes? Wait, why do you have brown shoes?
Tom
I don't care if it. If it matters to anyone, I don't care.
Jeff
All right.
Josh
Yeah.
Christy
Now, Kelly doesn't like the brown shoes.
Tom
No, that's particular.
Josh
You're not talking about the brand?
Jeff
No. They don't match his black shirt.
Tom
I bought a pair of those same things in black. Although I think I may have been scammed.
Josh
You brought. You bought brown shoes in black?
Tom
No, the same shoe.
Jeff
Those boots aren't black.
Tom
Those Rossignol Apreski boots, they're not black. Well, I bought a. I bought them online six weeks ago, and they haven't come yet. I think I may have been scammed.
Jeff
Well, honey, if it's too good to be true, it usually is. Is. And that I think they fell for.
Tom
They were on sale. Okay, I'm sorry. Let's move on.
Chick
The guy that responded to my Rossignol boots.
Jeff
$500 boots for 70 bucks. What do you think?
Chick
I wondered why the $500.
Josh
I don't think you were scammed. I think they're going to arrive.
Jeff
Really?
Tom
Yes. Are they from Timbuktu? What's taking so long?
Josh
Children have small hands in the.
Chick
Just basic kindness of the human spirit. Yes, that's what I believe. It's. You're. You'll get your boots. Tom. No, maybe he just. Everybody has something.
Tom
Look at your phone. Do you have a thing? They're saying that you owe a ticket from some state you haven't driven through.
Josh
Yep.
Oscar
Oh, that's right.
Josh
I gotta pay that.
Tom
That's the biggest scam right now. That's huge.
Chick
There was a news story that said that they won't text you like that.
Tom
Yeah. No matter if you're getting a text from any state saying you have a ticket, it don't pay nobody. I just wish we could track these people down and literally burn them at the stake on Friday nights. I will set the fire.
Josh
The toll people will not let you know you have an outstanding toll. They want those late fees.
Oscar
Oh, yeah.
Josh
They love the penalties. Ought to make $4 into 370.
Christy
I can't go to New York anymore.
Jeff
Really?
Christy
800 bucks on our trip.
Oscar
Now, just for the record, I told. Should we not stop and pay this? He goes, no, I'll get it when we get home.
Josh
Ignores.
Tom
So, Pat, when you go, you go to get a driver's license. Good luck.
Josh
Oh, by. I have a parking ticket.
Christy
No, no, no.
Tom
I got a parking ticket when we were in Cincinnati.
Josh
Yeah, yeah. From now on, when we're invited to these places, a few parking spots would be helpful.
Tom
Yeah, I think so. Yeah. 30 bucks. It wasn't too bad. If you're just joining us, thanks. This is the Bob and Tom show coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. And I want to say I just found out from Ms. Jess Hooker that those T shirts that we had, those special charity T shirts, we've got a handful of them left. We're selling them at bob&tom.com and giving the money to a couple great causes. One of them is the one in Cincinnati. They're making like, superhero pajamas for the kids. It's so cool. And the other one is the great Ronald McDonald House in Toledo. So if you get a chance, go online and buy them. They're going to be available, I guess, today and then all day tomorrow till midnight. So check it out at bob and tom.com. christy Lee is, of course, at the Silac Insurance news desk. Christy, why are you taking scissors to your bangs all morning?
Jeff
Because I have one piece of hair, two that are like right in front of my eyes. That's driving.
Tom
Have you gotten them yet?
Josh
Maybe they're your lashes.
Jeff
Oh, I wished my eyelashes aren't that.
Josh
You know, I have gorgeous lashes.
Jeff
Yeah, you do. I'm very jealous of that.
Josh
As boys, my brothers and I hated it when the old ladies at church would always, oh, look at their lashes. They're so gorgeous. We were boys. This is awful. Now I'm very proud.
Tom
Do the ladies notice this with you or do you have to tell them?
Josh
They absolutely notice it. It's crazy.
Tom
Did you give them butterfly kisses if they ask?
Josh
Yeah. Yeah.
Tom
Nipples.
Chick
Isn't that where you started to fall in love with the older women at church?
Christy
That's where your obsession with older women.
Josh
That may have been where my guilt fantasies started.
Chick
Good for the guilt. Good for the gander.
Tom
That's a thing, Guilt fantasies?
Chick
Oh, absolutely.
Jeff
Hey, a woman in Ohio is reporting that a squirrel caused a thousand dollars in damage to her car.
Chick
Yeah, yeah, it was a. It was a squirrel.
Jeff
Ms. Kathy Marshall told WCPO, that's Channel.
Chick
9 in Cincinnati, that she brought home of Sharkey.
Tom
Oh, yeah. CPO Sharkey, starring Don Rickles. Don Rickles. Yep.
Chick
At last, something Tom I saw one of those live is excited about.
Tom
I love, loved Don Rickles. Well, sure, I thought.
Chick
He's a big bully. Yeah, why wouldn't you?
Tom
Oh, he's. He's so funny. You don't think Don Rickles was funny?
Chick
There's a lot of mean in there.
Tom
Oh, he was maybe, but he was just taking the piss out of everything, all that. I loved it.
Jeff
CPO Sharkey was a show.
Christy
Yeah, right next to Carson. Actually, I saw one taping of it.
Chick
Remember when didn't Don guest os and break Carson's pencil box? Carson got up.
Josh
Carson confronted him.
Tom
Yeah, yeah, that's right. He went on the set, right?
Josh
Yeah.
Jeff
Was it a comedy? I don't remember.
Josh
Yes, allegedly.
Jeff
Okay.
Tom
I didn't see it. You've heard the famous stories of Don Rickles pimping Robert De Niro. No, they were. They were shooting. And, you know, De Niro is obviously De Niro treated like a God and people terrified of him. He's got. Actually has a great sense of humor. And Don Rickles walks onto the set and starts going stuff like, you're gonna read it that way. Everyone around him is going, oh, Jesus. Until De Niro finally starts laughing.
Jeff
Do you guys remember a show called Kolchak?
Tom
Yeah, yeah.
Josh
Night Stalker. I own them all.
Jeff
Really?
Josh
Yeah, yeah. Darren McGavin.
Jeff
Yes. I came home last night and my husband was watching this show, and I'm like, what are you watching? And he said, kolchak. And I don't remember that at all. But it was the first one about Jack the Ripper.
Chick
Here, I'll play the part of your husband and you come home and.
Tom
Okay, good.
Chick
Let's recreate that. Go ahead.
Jeff
Hey, honey, what are you watching?
Chick
Oh, God. Just Kolchak, the Night Stalker.
Tom
And then didn't you say, isn't he the dad in A Christmas story?
Jeff
Aaron McGavin. No, I got sucked in. It was like the first episode of the series.
Chick
So much for.
Josh
He's like a newspaper man.
Jeff
Who's who?
Josh
He was sort of. It was sort of the first X Filesy type.
Jeff
Yeah. Because this thing was vampires, werewolves, ghosty thing.
Josh
Yeah, all kinds of things.
Jeff
I'm like, how could. Well, I was. I don't remember 1974 when it came out. I guess I was 14. I wasn't really into.
Josh
I was negative four, but I read about the show and then looked it up.
Tom
It's possible to go back.
Josh
Back?
Chick
Yeah.
Josh
Oh, yeah.
Tom
Quality stuff.
Josh
They say you can never go back, but you can't.
Tom
You can't.
Jeff
Yeah.
Chick
Yeah. Tom Wolf didn't know what the hell.
Tom
He was talking about.
Jeff
First thing you notice are people's teeth. Back then. I know I've become. Because of him. But they don't all have perfectly white, straight teeth now.
Josh
Yeah.
Jeff
Like they do now. Back in 1974, it was like Real people have real teeth.
Tom
It was wild or rotting teeth.
Jeff
They weren't rotting, but they might have been a crooked.
Tom
Thank your lucky stars. Every day we have contemporary dentistry.
Jeff
Oh, I understand.
Josh
Dentists are slowly killing us. Did you know that?
Jeff
Oh, did you see? They're taking fluoride out of the water.
Tom
You're gonna have rotten buckers.
Chick
I don't know where it started.
Tom
Don't come bitching to me.
Chick
He always says buckers.
Jeff
Yeah. Utah is going to be the first state to ban fluoride in drinking water. That was a problem, but yeah.
Tom
Oh, that's another scam.
Chick
Is that right?
Jeff
Okay, so wait a minute.
Tom
No, I'm. I'm happy to if with fluoride has done a great thing to help people. You don't want to drink it, that's fine.
Christy
One of them anti fluoride people is that we are.
Josh
I know he sounds pro.
Tom
I'm pro fluoride.
Christy
Okay.
Tom
Sorry.
Josh
I'm from pro fluoride in my toothpaste.
Oscar
Yeah.
Tom
I like it in my pizza. I like it in everything. My hot dog water. I put extra. Extra fluoride in it. That's why my hot dogs are minty fresh.
Josh
I haven't done the research on it. I have not.
Jeff
I don't really know anything about it. I was just.
Tom
You know.
Jeff
They discovered.
Chick
Yes, it was during the military. Second World War.
Tom
No, there was. So there was some town. I forget where it was fluoride.
Josh
The amount of cavities dropped.
Tom
Yeah. There was this one time there was no tooth decay. And then they found out that the water had a ton of fluoride in it. In any of it. That's somewhat controversial.
Jeff
Yes, it is.
Tom
Let the average person do their research just like they did on everything else. Wilson, make up your own decision.
Josh
When did doing your own research become bad? In school.
Tom
When people started dying.
Josh
That's ridiculous. In school it was all we. We had to do research papers where we had to do our own. It was like shoved down our throats.
Jeff
Yep.
Josh
But I think you're the time people.
Tom
In biochemistry maybe is lacking and well.
Josh
Biochemists have agendas too. You have to do your own research.
Tom
Okay. Good luck with it now.
Chick
Well, as long as you have an open mind.
Josh
Well, that's the key to good research. You gotta look at everything.
Jeff
Absolutely. No, you gotta look at Tom's research.
Josh
Well, Tom finds the research that he already thinks is the answer. And that's what he agrees with.
Oscar
My son's school has a class now you have to take called Critical inquiry. Inquiry. I Can't even pronounce it.
Josh
Yeah.
Oscar
But it's basically to learn what on the net is real and what's BS and how to research to see what.
Josh
Is nearly impossible possible.
Oscar
Right.
Tom
Well, that's.
Oscar
I think it's great they're teaching kids that now that you can actually like.
Josh
Yeah. Oh.
Oscar
Just because you read something doesn't mean research it further back and see where that came.
Josh
Take that class before it's banned. Yeah.
Tom
90% of the stuff you click on fake. Yeah, pretty much. I would certainly agree with that. Now, coming up. Christy, what have you got over there?
Jeff
Well, we'll finish our squirrel story. We also have Kermit the frog. We have Paddington the Bear.
Josh
Oh, that Kermit the frog's got an agenda. I'll tell you what.
Chick
Not easy being green.
Tom
Wait till you hear playing the green card.
Chick
That's right. Green on green crime.
Tom
They took away his green card, by the way. He's afraid to fly home right now. The Bob and Time show is sponsored by Better Health. Help. Let's get some science here. Let's talk numbers. Traditional in person therapy costs between 100 bucks an hour or up to about 250 bucks. It depends. That adds up pretty quick. You've been thinking about therapy, but you're thinking that really is expensive. BetterHelp is gonna be about maybe 50% less. So find out what I'm talking about with respect to the finances. Also, BetterHelp is all about convenience when it comes to therapy. If you've been thinking about therapy and you're just maybe, I don't know if I want to do it. I don't want to go into a room with somebody by myself. This is all done online, so it's a lot more comfortable for you because you can do it at your convenience in a place you are comfortable. And that's what BetterHelp is all about. Doing the therapy online. How do you get hooked up? Well, you go to bobandtom.com. sorry, you go to betterhelp.com btshow. Excuse me, that's betterhelp.com btsHow. And that btsHow will knock 10% off your first month. Take a questionnaire. You will be hooked up with one of over 30,000 therapists that are working in the BetterHelp program. And by the way, there are 5 million people plus dealing with it right now. And the way it works is the therapy. Once you're assigned a therapist is done online. So you can do it like a. Like a zoom call, or you can do it like a phone call or even texting back and forth. It's up to you. You. It's all about convenience and about the importance, of course, of looking into your own head and sorting some stuff out. See what I'm talking about? Visit betterhelp.com btshow that's betterhelp h e l p.com btshow Once again, coming up, we have Paddington the Bear. We've got Kermit the Frog, and we've got all kinds of interesting things involving animals, et cetera, et cetera. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Probably noticed everybody else is gone, but we're here. We're having fun. Hit that, that special button, the talkback button. Tell us what you'd like to win those tickets. Details on them are coming up.
Chick
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. At the Silac Insurance news desk, it's Christy Lee. Hi, Pat Godwin. Hello, Jeff. Oscar Case here.
Josh
Yes.
Chick
There's Josh Arnold.
Josh
Hi, chick.
Chick
I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom. How are you, buddy?
Tom
Hello, Chick. I'm doing great. I'll remind you once again, those special T shirts available just for another day@bobandtom.com thank you very much. We appreciate it.
Josh
Tom, the song Jackie Blue, yes or no?
Tom
Yes. Love.
Jeff
Yes.
Tom
Ozark Mountain Daredevils, right?
Josh
Yes.
Tom
Chick, where are you on that one?
Chick
On the fence.
Josh
I'm on the fence, too.
Chick
Really?
Tom
Yeah. Remember their other song?
Josh
If you want to get to heaven, you got to raise a little hell.
Tom
I like that one, too.
Josh
Yeah. That's amazing.
Chick
I think I might like that one better.
Josh
That's. I love that one.
Jeff
I think Jackie Blue was their bigger hit, though.
Josh
Oh, really?
Jeff
Yeah.
Tom
I don't know, but. Yeah, but why do you ask.
Josh
Man? I'm on the fence.
Chick
I am driving to Columbus, Ohio, to spend the afternoon playing. Playing pinball.
Josh
The reason I asked was we were listening to some harmonica and the.
Chick
Oh, yeah.
Josh
The Rejoin music. And my favorite harmonica is if you want to get to heaven, you got to raise a little hell.
Chick
That starts out with harmonica, the finest harmonica work.
Jeff
I think Jackie Blue is a little more popish.
Chick
Yes.
Josh
Yeah, I think. I think I like it.
Tom
You want to hear a great harmonica Magic Dick from the Jay Giles Band.
Josh
Yes.
Chick
Oh, nobody better blow your face out, Dicky.
Josh
I mean, there's a lot of great.
Tom
That's his name, Magic Dick. What is it? It's like Dick Solowitz, I think is his real name, but he goes by.
Josh
Magic Dick, you know, that's what's not good harmonica, but it has charm, is Bob Dylan.
Tom
Well, I'm not a fan.
Christy
Breathing in and out.
Josh
Yeah, exactly.
Tom
I'm not a fan of that bad harmonica.
Josh
There's a charm to it, but it is bad. Yeah, Same with Alanis Morissette.
Christy
Oh, that's the worst.
Josh
But I think there's a charm to her just picking it up and going after it. I like it.
Chick
I'm going to sit here and you two criticize the future Mrs. McGee.
Josh
I love.
Tom
How about Bonnie Rate and the great harmonica in Runaway. As I. That shouldn't.
Chick
That shouldn't count because it's not her playing harmonica, but it's great harmonica.
Josh
John Popper, of course, is.
Jeff
Is terrific.
Christy
Too many notes.
Chick
I like.
Tom
There is a lot.
Chick
I like Fat John Popper. I don't like Skinny John. Poppy John Popper. Oh, that's where.
Jeff
I haven't seen Skinny John.
Chick
That's where I am on.
Tom
That's how thin he is.
Oscar
I just saw his vest on, his harmonica vest. Somebody was selling it on Pawn Stars.
Josh
Oh, no way. Yeah, he.
Oscar
It had been gifted to him after some tour.
Chick
Yeah, that's right. That's what it was.
Tom
Gifted to me.
Josh
Yeah.
Tom
Yeah.
Josh
I didn't steal this.
Christy
He used to walk. He walked around with that all the time, even when he wasn't playing.
Josh
Yes. And he would give away harmonicas.
Tom
Cool.
Josh
Yeah.
Tom
Yeah, because you got to have. In that. That Bonnie Ray thing, the guy. I think he was wearing a belt. And he would. Because he would switch.
Josh
Yes.
Chick
What do they call it? A bandolero. What do they call.
Josh
I think so. I mean, at least they.
Tom
So instead of. Instead of bullets that has harmonicas in it.
Chick
Yeah, but either way, it's called. I think. I don't know.
Josh
That sounds right.
Tom
Now, we've been waiting for Pat to play a song almost.
Christy
Oh, you wanted a pizza song. And I've written 30.
Tom
You just gotta give me a number. I gave you the number 16.
Chick
How many. How many songs? Just. Just the one. Right. This morning. Yeah, barely.
Josh
But many good jokes and asides.
Chick
Thank you, Josh.
Josh
You're welcome.
Tom
Well, that was really Rita with a hearty nothing. Now, this is be. In honor of Christie's neighbor who set a world record for the.
Jeff
Michael Cole.
Tom
He set the world record for running a marathon while holding a pizza. And he. He did it in almost. Just over three hours, right?
Jeff
Yep.
Tom
A full marathon.
Jeff
Three, ten.
Tom
Is this about Michael?
Chick
I can hold a pizza for three hours.
Christy
New York City. Pizza's really tasty. Chicago's deep dish always Makes me smile.
Tom
This guy's from Scienceville.
Christy
I love California Pizza Kitchen and that Pennsylvania Old Forge pizza style. Oh, lately, folks are putting fruit on pizza with bacon bits, cheese, and chunks of ham.
Chick
There it is.
Christy
They tell you it's delicious, so you try it. Yeah, sometimes they substitute ham with some Spam.
Chick
Here it comes.
Christy
No one likes wine pies. It's that pineapple we despise. Just one bite. Oh, you feel like eyes. Nobody likes Hawaiian pies.
Josh
No.
Christy
Icky wack. A sucky Hawaiian pies.
Josh
Terrific.
Tom
You didn't get anything about the marathon guy in there? That's all right. Christy's friend, her daughter worked at his pizza joint called Greek, something like that.
Chick
I'm hearing why you don't.
Christy
Stole the sausage. That's why she got fired. Sophie's really smart. She got herself another job. She works 12 hours a day. She comes home real tired. That Sophie's one brilliant woman. She was a girl, then she grew up, then became a beautiful lady.
Tom
Can you rhyme any of these?
Jeff
You switched kids in the middle of the song. You went from Ava to Sophie.
Christy
Oh, they're not the same person.
Jeff
No.
Chick
Hence the different. Different names. Realize you thought she had one kid.
Tom
Both of them came out of Christie's thighs. Thank you. I think we finished it.
Chick
That was Christie's.
Jeff
Technically, only one came out of my thighs.
Josh
Oh, cesarean. The other one.
Jeff
Yeah, the other one.
Christy
Oh, those are good seats.
Chick
You know, there's a. There's a picture out there floating around of Christy being sewn up after the.
Jeff
Cesarean section, thanks to their dad.
Josh
Yeah, there's some listener out there. I gotta.
Chick
I shut my eyes and I can. I can see it.
Jeff
It was hanging on the wall for.
Chick
Yeah, good.
Jeff
Disgusting.
Tom
Okay. Okay, good.
Josh
Am I the only one that can tolerate Hawaiian pizza?
Oscar
I like it.
Josh
I. I don't order it, but I. I don't mind it.
Jeff
I'll have a. I never had it, so I can't go. Comment.
Josh
Oh, okay.
Chick
You hate it.
Tom
Tom, I'm really tired of ordering the bowl of fruit on the side before I go to lunch. You know where I go a lot.
Josh
Yes.
Tom
They have terrible.
Jeff
Is it all melon?
Tom
They have terrible tea, and it's all. It's all pineapple.
Jeff
They have terrible pineapple.
Chick
What are you going to say?
Tom
They have terrible tea.
Jeff
They throw a couple grapes in there sometimes.
Tom
Yeah, you'll get like. Yeah, two grapes, four blueberries and a couple strawberries, then it's 90. Pineapple, usually. Usually hard.
Jeff
I would rather have that than all the melon.
Chick
Just Oh, I love the melon.
Tom
I love melons.
Jeff
It's only melon's good.
Josh
Secret of the melon.
Chick
Knock knock.
Jeff
Frat. I mean that's right.
Chick
Cantaloupe.
Jeff
Cantaloupe.
Chick
Cantaloupe. Tonight. Dad's got the ladder.
Tom
Thank you. Is that our race Cosby Joker? It is.
Chick
That could be girl.
Tom
Wednesday's coming back. Do we know yet? Okay. All right. Okay. Thanks very much. Oh. Once again we are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Pat
This is the Bob and Tom show. Text us at 888-262-866.
Tom
One more Bob and Tom next.
Chick
Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Oh, you did it wrong. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Part Studios. That's Christy Lee.
Jeff
Hi.
Chick
In at the AT. Yeah, that's my purpose. Sitting at the Silac Insurance news desk.
Tom
Oh, okay.
Jeff
Would you get your mind out of the gutter?
Tom
No. He was in the toilet.
Chick
There's Pat Godwin.
Jeff
Gutter toilet. Wherever you go you go.
Chick
Oscar. Hello, Josh.
Josh
Hi. Hi.
Chick
I'm Chick McGee.
Jeff
Here we have astronauts. Did you hear about this?
Chick
You know when you're an astronaut you make an ass out of me. You. If you.
Jeff
A bitcoin investor had headed to space with three polar explorers on the first flight to carry people over the north and south poles.
Chick
I thought you were going to say three polar bears.
Tom
This is interesting because they're going around the other way.
Jeff
Yes.
Tom
Instead of circling the equator.
Jeff
Launched the form Monday night from NASA's Kennedy Space center in Florida. Chinese born entrepreneur Chon Wang bought the entire flight from Elon Musk's SpaceX. Wang won't say how much he paid for the three and a half day ultimate polar adventure. But took along three guests. A Norwegian filmmaker, a German robotics researcher and an Australian polar guide.
Josh
A bunch of nerds.
Jeff
It will take them 46 minutes to fly from pole to pole with their targeted 270 mile high orbit.
Josh
We're doing it from pole to pole.
Jeff
They're doing experiments and all kinds of.
Tom
And don't they. Isn't there something about more radiation? If they go that way they get irradiated.
Chick
Wait a minute. Which way are they?
Tom
They're going up and down.
Jeff
They're going up and down this way.
Chick
Instead of this way.
Tom
They're not going around the equator. They're going around north.
Josh
Is there a name? Is there? So there's the equator. Of course.
Chick
Circumnavigating yes.
Josh
Is there a name for the.
Tom
Yeah, that's a good question. I don't know.
Chick
And where, where, where are they headed? Are they at a pole right now and they're going to come down? Or where is.
Jeff
They're circling the earth, like out in the north, south.
Tom
Never mind.
Josh
It's like, why are they doing this?
Chick
Well, where's the polar bears now?
Jeff
Because A, they can afford to, and B, they wanted to do some experiments about mapping the polar regions.
Josh
They all sound like dorks. Did you guys hear what they all do for a living?
Tom
I just want to say I'm sure this guy's a great gentleman and I'm sure he'd like to pass some cash out of this great show.
Josh
Yeah, give us some money, nerd.
Tom
Don't do it that way.
Josh
It's been working for bullies in school.
Tom
Us.
Chick
Give us some money or we'll beat your ass.
Josh
Yeah.
Jeff
Did you hear that Waymo is moving on to another city? You've used Waymo in San Francisco, right?
Chick
Oh, Waymo far.
Jeff
The driverless taxis are now going to be in Washington D.C. ladies and gentlemen.
Chick
You did ride in one of those. Was it. It was. Had to be creepy, right?
Oscar
It was weird.
Chick
Yeah.
Oscar
I rolled my window down because I was afraid I'd get trapped. I wanted to be able to climb out the window.
Tom
When you say people were harassing you.
Oscar
Oh, yeah. People would jump in front of the car and, like, stop it because it has, like, sensors. Oh, yeah. We were told by my. My friend at one corner, roll up the windows. People like to spit on people in them.
Jeff
Oh, my goodness.
Tom
Why is that?
Oscar
Because they just hate. It's San Francisco. They hate technology.
Chick
The greatest world. They hate the world. San Francisco.
Jeff
Waymo's robo taxis currently provide 200,000 paid weekly trips in Phoenix, Los Angeles, the Bay Area, as we mentioned in Austin, Texas. And now chalk up another one.
Tom
Will they work in places where it snows?
Jeff
I don't know.
Oscar
I guess if it's. Wait, are they in Washington, D.C. yeah, they do.
Josh
They crash.
Chick
They don't steer in the direction of the skid. They can't get that right for some reason. That's weird.
Jeff
You would think they wouldn't work.
Tom
I don't know. I'm just curious.
Jeff
Yeah, I don't know. I can't answer that. Let's get back to our woman and her squirrel. Remember that one Kathy Marshall told wcpo.
Chick
Squirrel and the Nuts.
Tom
Cpo. That'll be off on cpo Sharky and the great Don Rickles.
Jeff
Talking about Colchic. She brought her Nissan SUV into her dealership after the check engine light came on. She was told that when the service tech went to pull the nest out, a squirrel jumped out of it. Them. That's right. There was a squirrel and a nest inside the car apparently had been living under the hood. The animal chewed through much of her car's wiring, causing over a thousand dollars in damages.
Tom
She got off light?
Jeff
Yes. Christopher in the other room said this happened to him last year.
Josh
Oh, that's that guy's name?
Jeff
Yes.
Chick
I thought his name was Danny, not Danny or Christopher.
Tom
The larger point here is. Remember the story we had about they found wood. Was it mice on an airplane? And they had to turn around, turn it around because of the same. They were concerned about them.
Jeff
Yeah, they. They make the wiring out of soy, which is attractive to the animals. Did you know that?
Tom
And yeah, there. That happened to my. One of my sons that they got underneath his car and did a lot of damage.
Josh
Yeah, that's what he told you, huh?
Christy
Boy, those kids can really.
Josh
You know, they call them off road, Sam. They'll drive anywhere.
Oscar
Like two years ago, I was driving to work one day, and as I'm sitting at a stoplight, I swore I heard a cat meow. And I'm like. So I get home and pull in the driveway again. I swear I hear a cat meow. And I'm like going through my whole van. There's nothing there. I look under the hood, nothing. The next day, I'm driving to work. I swear I hear a cat meow. I turn down the music. Nothing. This goes on for three days. And finally on like the fourth day, I hear a cat meow. I go, I open the hood and there was a cat in my hood hood, like just sitting on top of the engine like, hey, what's up?
Josh
A kitten or a cat.
Oscar
Like a kitten. A small, like. Yeah, in between.
Chick
Wow.
Oscar
And we ended up giving it to a neighbor, and they still have it.
Josh
Nice.
Oscar
I think it's V. V8 or. I forget what they named it.
Jeff
V8.
Oscar
Yeah.
Chick
Cadillac or something.
Oscar
I didn't name it.
Tom
That's amazing that it didn't get.
Oscar
It was in my car for four days, like on the highway doing 75 miles an hour.
Tom
I've told the story about my old next door neighbor, had a Corvette. And I was standing in my driveway one day and he. He drove by and all of a sudden skidded into the mailbox. Kim's comes running out of the car. He had left the top down and it turned out a raccoon had climbed into the Corvette and gotten underneath that bulkhead by his feet.
Chick
Holy hell.
Tom
So he was driving. All of a sudden, he felt something grab his foot.
Chick
Raccoons have thumbs.
Josh
Watch this. I don't believe that story.
Tom
It's absolutely true. Fortunately, he took. He didn't take out my mailbox. He took out the mailbox next door.
Josh
That's a federal fence.
Tom
Well, especially in a Corvette. It's a nice car.
Chick
I didn't think he had a mailbox. You don't use it?
Tom
I don't get mail. I don't get personal mail at my house.
Chick
Of course not.
Oscar
So did the raccoon leave on its own, or did he.
Chick
Right, right.
Jeff
He stole the car, open the door and said no.
Tom
That's actually a fair question. He had to. He called a guy the raccoon.
Chick
No, I thought the. I thought the porcupine would be in a Corvette because the pricks are on the inside.
Tom
Is that unbelievable? It's a fine car. Chevrolet.
Josh
I'm a. I would never get one. I've always liked them. I think they look cool. I remember having a Hot Wheels.
Chick
I'm an Opal GT guy.
Tom
Those are cool.
Chick
Just like a Corvette.
Tom
Is there. Is there a club for those?
Chick
I'm sure there are.
Jeff
Yeah, there is, for everything.
Tom
Those were. Those were interesting. And, you know. And they called a guy that. He put this sort of sleeve on and reached up in there and got the thing and pulled him out. He did? Yeah.
Chick
Good lord. Well, you. You say like you. Like you would do that. It would terrify you. Well, you'd have to get one of those reaching sticks.
Tom
I wouldn't. No. I would call a professional. I'm not going to do that. Trapper Jack, did I ever tell you about the. I really can't tell the story on the air.
Chick
Oh, come on. We can get there.
Tom
It involves a job site, and this raccoon was hanging out of the soffit.
Chick
Huh?
Tom
You know what I'm saying?
Josh
But it was still alive.
Tom
Yes, it was still alive. No, it wasn't alive. Live the rest of the day after that. Oh, like I.
Chick
It's.
Tom
Oh, it's a horrible story.
Josh
You made love to it to death.
Tom
No, no.
Jeff
Make it a pinata.
Tom
No, I didn't do anything. But it does involve a Sawzall.
Josh
That's brutal.
Chick
Well, I'm glad we didn't tell that one.
Tom
Could you.
Josh
Could you describe it as a magic trick gone wrong?
Tom
Yes. Yes.
Chick
And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to saw this raccoon in half.
Tom
Oh, my God, the eyes. But the thing about this.
Chick
Girls grab your boyfriend.
Tom
This business of squirrels and raccoons eating the wires on certain cars, it's real.
Jeff
It's very serious and.
Tom
But the good news about it is the next time you run over a squirrel in the street, don't feel so bad. You're probably saving someone from a lot of damage.
Josh
It would still ruin my day.
Jeff
It would ruin my day, too.
Josh
I'm such a softy when it comes.
Tom
To Never look back. When they run in front of you, you just keep going.
Jeff
You pray they make it.
Chick
Okay, well, that's.
Tom
Take a different route home.
Chick
That's what I've said about the geese, but you guys are all up in my face about it.
Tom
I'd like to see. I'd like to see millions of Canada geese slain and turned into solvent.
Josh
Not me.
Tom
No. Their turds are everywhere. I know. They've ruined one of my favorite walking paths. It's nothing but geese you can avoid.
Josh
Oscar and I shore fish all the time, and it's just goose poop. And we do. We do justice, right?
Pat
A lot of.
Josh
Oh, man.
Chick
Oh, yeah, there's a lot of goose.
Tom
Is it slippery?
Josh
Yeah, you stepped in it. But we didn't fall for the most part.
Christy
Didn't you fall in the pond?
Josh
Yes, but I just slipped on mud. That wasn't actually goose poop.
Chick
Are you sure that was mud?
Josh
I am positive.
Chick
Yes.
Josh
Yeah. Boy, that. I wish there was video of that.
Oscar
Man, it was so slow and long. Like, it was like a 5 minute fall that just covered like 3ft.
Josh
I am not a graceful man.
Christy
Josh fell on my watch. And it was a slow fall, too.
Tom
Yeah.
Christy
And I couldn't laugh till you were done.
Chick
How many times have you fallen? You haven't worked here that long.
Josh
I'm quite clumsy.
Chick
Oh.
Oscar
I showed up at the lake and he had just pulled himself out of it.
Josh
That was a different fall. Yeah, Yeah, a different fall. I was soaked. Yes.
Oscar
I was like, what if he had drowned and I show up and. And he's dead. And now everyone thinks I killed him.
Josh
To get that poor bass. Imagine being caught and now you're. You can't breathe and you have a hook in your mouth and then you're dropped into mud and then a human being falls on you. That's what happened.
Chick
Some kind of torture.
Josh
Yeah.
Tom
Yeah. Oh, now you're in a bass fishing tournament next week, right?
Josh
Yes, yes. The big bass bash in Lake of the Ozone.
Christy
A lot of money involved, Right?
Tom
How much do you have to? What's the buy in?
Josh
200 bucks.
Tom
Really?
Josh
Yeah, yeah. 210. Yeah.
Tom
Now what's the first prize?
Josh
Oh, geez. I mean, every two, every three hours they award 40 people a cash prize. The winner of the whole thing gets 100 grand.
Jeff
Oh my gosh. Do you get like T shirts? You get a swag bag or anything?
Josh
Yes, you get a bunch of swag and then you can buy a T shirt. And if you win and if you. Yes, yes. If you weigh while wearing the T shirt, you get extra money, that kind of thing.
Jeff
All right.
Josh
And there are fun things like if you get exactly 3.1, like 316, you get 5, just $5,000 right off the bat.
Chick
Oh, is it like a Jesus thing.
Josh
That that one is sponsored by some kind of Christian?
Tom
Are you kidding?
Josh
No. And then if you get like an exact three pounder, four pounder, five, if you get an exact right, you get a thousand dollars. There's a lot of money.
Tom
You get a free pie if it weighs 3.141.
Josh
They should do that.
Tom
That's not a bad idea.
Oscar
How much do you get if you reel a dead body?
Tom
Body?
Josh
Oh, a day at the police station.
Tom
A one way ticket to Newark. Right. Now I want to remind you about our buddies at Field of Dreams Whiskey. I want to emphasize the fact that they were so nice helping us out with our broadcasts in Toledo and Cincinnati. Field of Dreams Whiskey is all about a celebration of baseball. And we have a bunch of bottles of it lying around here. You can buy them while they last. This is a special edition that's out there right now in honor of every man who has ever played major league baseball. So that's obviously a limited edition. And each player has a special bottle dedicated to that player. And you can find out what that is when you grab a bottle and you find all the information at. By. By going. I should say to drink fieldofdreams.com Tom, or look forward at a retailer near you. It's not available everywhere, but it can be shipped to a lot of places. I'll tell you the places that can't be shipped in just a second. The notion here is that the. This whiskey is made from the corn from the actual field from the Field of Dreams in Iowa. If you've seen the movie, you know what I'm talking about. And it's once again a brand new special edition featuring a bunch of former big leaguers, of course, in their honor. So get all the details like I said, by going to drinkfieldofdreams. Dot com. Tom now, shipping is not available in the following places. Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Delaware, Idaho, Kentucky, Michigan, Mississippi, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah and Vermont. It is available lots of other places and it is, of course, in retail stores. As for it, by name, Field of Dreams whiskey. You must of course, be at least 21 and we ask you to please drink responsibly. It's a great, great baseball tribute. I know it's early, but this would be a terrific Father's Day gift for a dad that really is into baseball. So I would highly recommend it. Coming up, we have Kristi Lee trying to push her way through a newscast with a defense of many men.
Jeff
No, I need it today because we don't have a lot of news. News. Oh, you have at it.
Josh
You should have worked harder overnight.
Jeff
Yeah, I know, right?
Tom
We have, we have.
Jeff
I was watching Night Stalker.
Tom
We have an exciting story about the. In a new invention, the self cooling drink.
Jeff
Yes, we do have that coming up.
Chick
So this is one of those stories. You're very excited.
Jeff
Yeah, he is.
Tom
It's revolutionary. Ten years from now, they'll all be this way. You're gonna go hammer. I remember the day that Tom told.
Chick
Me they stay cold. The drinks stay cold now, more or less. How cold do you need them to be before they're frozen?
Oscar
No, but this is from warm. It just warms the can.
Chick
Flash frozen. Yes.
Tom
It's amazing. It's.
Chick
It's a.
Tom
It. It's better than AI or as I say in Helvetica, Al. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom show.
Chick
In a row. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Can you imagine what he would do if one of us were. Hi, Christy.
Jeff
Hi, Chick.
Chick
There's Pat Godwin.
Christy
Hey, Chick.
Chick
Hello, Jeff Oskay. Hello.
Jeff
Hello, gorgeous.
Chick
There's Josh Arnold.
Josh
That's me.
Chick
I'm Chick McGee. And here's. Here's Tom.
Tom
Thank you very much. Chuck McGee over at the orange insoles.com sports desk. Just going through our. Going through the emails here. Oh, that's great.
Oscar
Actually, I have a quick question. All right. I'm supposed to meet some of my friends. We've been friends since first grade. We're supposed to meet for dinner tonight.
Josh
Cancel.
Oscar
We do this like once. No, that's the problem. I woke up this morning and my first thought was, how can I get out of this?
Christy
Yeah.
Oscar
Does anyone else feel that, like, every time you make a plan, you wake up up and you want to get out of it before the day even starts?
Chick
Nope. I always honor your commitments. Get out of it. I have a stable of. Stable of excuses.
Tom
I have two words.
Josh
Literally every plan I ever make is what it. I am that way. It's one of the reasons I go to therapy.
Oscar
So how do you. Oh, so how do you get out of that?
Chick
Have to go to therapy.
Tom
Stop being so like throwing away a garbage can.
Jeff
So you don't want to go.
Josh
I love these people. Right.
Oscar
I just am like oh, I gotta go home and then I gotta wait all day before I can get drunk even.
Chick
Even.
Jeff
Wait a minute. No, that's wrong. You don't have to wait all day to get drunk. Just make sure you take an Uber to wherever you're going.
Josh
I don't know what even positive plans I. I dread. Yeah. Things I want to do.
Oscar
These are people I enjoy.
Josh
Yes.
Oscar
And I. What nothing to do with it.
Josh
Doesn't make any sense.
Jeff
I wonder why that is. What does your therapist say?
Josh
I'm a flawed, awful human being. No, she doesn't.
Christy
She doesn't put it like that.
Josh
No, no, no, she doesn't say that. She's trying to convince.
Tom
Not going to say that until the. The checks stop clearing.
Josh
No, she tries to convince me I'm not a broken person.
Jeff
But you are not.
Christy
You might be a dented can, but we still buy dented can.
Jeff
You speaking of can cans.
Oscar
Yeah.
Chick
The company still goes bad if it's standard. I'll tell you that.
Jeff
A company in Britain has created a self cooling drink can. Delta H Innovations unveiled the design that reportedly cools a room temperature beverage to 42 degrees Fahrenheit instantly. The can has a button on the base activates the rapid cooling process wherein water in the aluminum base mixes with a salt component embedded in the cans wall. Following the boop. The can stays cold for up to 45 minutes.
Tom
What?
Jeff
Delta said the reaction is eco friendly and that the can is 100% recyclable.
Oscar
Yeah, take that big ice. We don't need your cooled cubes anymore.
Jeff
Delta H Innovations has not yet announced a specific release date for the project.
Josh
Has it announced the list of carcinogens that are in the chemical?
Jeff
They say it's not they technology currently.
Tom
And the chemical is. Is housed in the is not touching the liquid.
Jeff
No, it's in the actual can.
Josh
Well, the mercury is in the thermometer. We still don't use those anymore.
Tom
Wait a second.
Jeff
You are such a.
Tom
Almost sounds like an analogy. That's valid.
Josh
It is.
Chick
Yeah. The asbestos is still in the wall. Right?
Josh
Right, right. Yeah, yeah.
Tom
There's Obviously. There's obviously some kind of sleeve. The can within the can and then in the outside of the one sleeve. Is this chemical. You don't think this is great?
Josh
No, I hope to never use one. Ice is fine.
Chick
The only thing missing from this story, Josh.
Tom
What if you're on one of your little fishing trips?
Josh
Yes. Thank you for not belittling them.
Tom
What if you're on a massive awesome fishing trip? Yeah. You're up in the upper peninsula of Michigan at the Big Two Hearted River.
Josh
River.
Tom
Just like Hemingway farted river. And then you. You.
Chick
I'd like to rip your heart.
Tom
Wanna. You want a nice. A nice cool one at 6:00?
Chick
Yeah. And you've just had it with the inconvenience of taking a cooler with you.
Josh
Right, Right.
Tom
Oh, you've hiked. You've hiked down the river. It's in your backpack.
Jeff
Ah, he does have a point.
Josh
Yes.
Jeff
You can't take a cooler everywhere.
Josh
I. If I can't take a cooler, I shouldn't have whatever that drink is.
Tom
And your philosophy is if you're more than 20 minutes from a place to get a hot pizza, you're not fishing.
Christy
All day long with a pizza.
Tom
Again, sure, that's invalid. But it's also. It's also a callback.
Chick
Josh. Arnold died. A pizza for breakfast, a pizza for lunch, and then a sensible pizza for dinner. Is that. Is that what you're doing?
Jeff
You're still an aces diet. What are you doing over there?
Tom
Oh, boy, this is. I wonder if there's some medical thing that this would be good for too. Is this something you have to have cold to give yourself?
Josh
We're gonna find out it's as healthy as vaping drinking from one of these cans.
Tom
I think this is finally the first valid reason to have a beer in your first aid kit.
Chick
Well, I don't know why you would never use this. I don't know why you're so.
Tom
I recognize a great invention even though I don't need it.
Chick
All right.
Jeff
You never have soda ever.
Tom
Oh, sure. I drink salt water all the time. I mean, I think in most places in civilization, ice is available. You've traveled in France, you can never get anything cold.
Jeff
That's true.
Josh
Yeah, I know Americans are ice crazy, but we're doing it correctly. The rest of the world needs to.
Chick
Yes, exactly.
Jeff
Ice up.
Chick
Can I have some ice?
Tom
Ice up, foreigners. That's it.
Jeff
Hey, speaking of.
Tom
Wait a minute. Probably shouldn't use the word ice right now. If you're just. If you're just Joining us. Hello. Thanks for joining us. If you are just joining us, this is the Bob and Tom show, and we are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy.
Jeff
Well, I have an update on my trip to Britain. We're only about seven, six. Seven places left. If you want to go see the British landscapes, this means spots, like in the trip.
Tom
Yes.
Josh
Oh, I got you.
Jeff
Would you like to go? England, Scotland, Wales. Come on, check it out.
Chick
Six spots left. That does really sound great. Are you still going?
Jeff
Yeah.
Chick
Oh, never mind.
Jeff
So is my husband.
Chick
Never mind.
Jeff
I have some girlfriends going.
Chick
Oh, I have an impression. I have a. I have an impression of you coming home and telling your husband that it's time to leave for the trip to Europe.
Jeff
Yeah.
Josh
How does it go?
Jeff
Honey, are you packed and ready to go? We're going on our trip.
Chick
Oh, Jesus. Right now.
Jeff
Grab your pass point. Join me. Passports are welcome. Come to the British Landscapes with us and Colette Travel. Check out the Bob and Tom website for all the information. Once again, we're down to just the last few trips remaining.
Tom
And that does remind me, droning all over the usa, make sure to get your driver's license updated.
Jeff
Oh, yeah, you need the star car.
Tom
The clock is ticking.
Josh
Why has this become your personal psa? Why do you care? I can't stand.
Chick
Do you have yours? Keep your nose out of other people's eyes.
Tom
Yes. I'm just telling you. I'm trying to try to save someone this. The stress of getting.
Josh
Oh, no.
Tom
To get on an airplane and they can't get on because they didn't get. Pick a lane.
Josh
Poop jokes or these PSAs. You can't have both.
Tom
Well, PSA, that's inside radio talk for public.
Josh
No, it isn't. Everybody knows what a PSA is. I knew what it was when I was 8 years old.
Tom
I know what an ASA ass is. I'm talking to one.
Chick
You called me a talking ass. I thought that was our thing.
Tom
Okay, sorry.
Jeff
University of Maryland has announced that Kermit the Frog will be their 2025 commencement speaker.
Chick
Well, good they're not making a joke out of commencement, right?
Tom
Who?
Jeff
Kermit?
Josh
No, no. What school?
Jeff
The University of Maryland.
Tom
Oh, that's because Terrapin.
Jeff
Aren't they a frog.
Chick
Anyway, I like turtles.
Jeff
They're a turtle. Yeah.
Tom
Isn't that where.
Jeff
That's where Jim Henson went. Yeah. The school reports Kermit will deliver the commencement address at secu Stadium on May 21.
Tom
I just hope they have. What is it? Statler and Waldorf? Yes, up in the up somewhere, like up in a box, going, you suck.
Chick
You couldn't get into an Ivy League, huh?
Josh
This ain't half bad. You're right. It's all bad.
Chick
Not half good. I tell you that.
Tom
This is not gonna be the first time a commencement speaker had someone's fist up his ass.
Jeff
Wow. The appearance honors the long history between the University of Maryland and Muppets creator Jim Henson, who graduated in 1960. Henson, a home economics major.
Chick
Wow.
Jeff
Invented Kermit by building the original frog puppet out of one of his mother's coats and a ping pong ball cut.
Chick
In half an old dish rag.
Tom
I used to love Ralph.
Josh
Oh, yeah, the dog Ralph.
Tom
Ralph the dog.
Chick
Like the piano Jimmy Dean on the.
Tom
Jimmy Dean show when I was a kid. I loved that.
Jeff
Ralph the dog.
Tom
Yeah. One of the early Muppets.
Chick
There's a great doc on. I think it's on Disney about.
Josh
I believe it's pronounced Rolf.
Tom
Yeah, I think you may be right.
Chick
I think it's Ralph.
Josh
Well, you keep thinking that, you ignorant piece. No reason to get.
Tom
Just. Just don't get your license fixed. And whatever you do, don't brush your teeth, the floor.
Josh
Well, I just don't like this. You feel like a hero when you tell everybody.
Chick
No, no, no. He'll be doing this at a party. You know, I told everyone to get their real.
Josh
Right, right, right.
Tom
Exactly what I'll be doing. No, I'm just trying to remind people for no reason. Mark was at the airport.
Chick
He couldn't go number six in the book.
Tom
If I hadn't told Godwin we'd be on our next adventure, we'd be at the airport. God, I can't get on the plane. Why not? I forgot to get this.
Chick
Do you refer to you going with Godwin somewhere as your next adventure? I like that very much.
Tom
Oh, yeah.
Chick
Well, God, when we were out there on one of our adventures.
Jeff
Where's your next adventure?
Tom
I mean, we were. We went to England just to see Eric Clapton and Cream. We were there for like, I bet, 36 hours.
Chick
I sure don't know how.
Christy
Actually, it was a birthday.
Chick
Gives way onto that trip.
Jeff
It was a birthday gift to him. You paid.
Christy
Started out as a birthday gift to Tom and then it changed.
Chick
Oh, really?
Tom
Yes. It was a birthday gift to me that I had to pay for.
Josh
Yeah, yeah.
Tom
Thanks very much.
Josh
Yeah, it's kind of like when the breadwinner of the family, whether it be the man or the way. I got you a new car for Christmas. Did you? Out of our shared bank account and.
Tom
Look, it comes with a payment book. Oh, it's even got you. It's a monogram payment book. Look, your name's on it right here. Even the name of your bank. How convenient.
Josh
Christy, do you and your husband have separate bank accounts?
Jeff
Yes.
Josh
Do you also have a joint?
Chick
Oh, my God. Jesus.
Jeff
Oh, no. We probably should have one, but we do not.
Josh
Most couples have. And I know money is like one of the biggest arguments. Argument things in relationships.
Jeff
Well, you do what we do. We just don't talk about it.
Christy
Oh, but you're aware of each other's numbers and stuff.
Tom
I've never had a joint. That's just too confusing.
Jeff
I've never had a joke.
Josh
Yeah, I was gonna ask, like, what would come from the joint bank account as opposed to the. How about you, Jeff?
Oscar
We have a joint that all the bills come out of, and then we have our own separate.
Josh
Okay.
Tom
Prostitutes you don't use.
Oscar
I don't want her to see that come up on my card. There's nothing worse than looking down your bank. It just says prostitute.
Chick
Well, not fun way. It says not really a prostitute.
Jeff
There are legal issues. Why you should have a joint. I. We had a check come to both of us the other day from the insurance company. They wouldn't put it in my account because he wasn't there in person to sign the check.
Chick
Yes, well.
Jeff
Oh, I had a fit about that one.
Josh
Oh, geez. That poor bastard.
Chick
You know what he said about it?
Jeff
Not his fault. It's the bank's.
Chick
Oh, Jesus.
Josh
No, I'm talking about the poor bastard that'll listen to you at the bank.
Jeff
Yeah, I let him have it. Yeah, that's me.
Chick
What is your problem?
Tom
Oh, you couldn't just forge it.
Jeff
He'd signed the check in front of the person.
Chick
You were just waiting to forge something. He loves Tom's really manufactured documents much.
Josh
You for Tom lives a very fraudulent life.
Christy
He's a lot more of a rebel than you guys.
Chick
Your own little bunko game going on over there, don't you?
Tom
You'd be surprised. You can do with a computer.
Christy
I think I got my license.
Josh
Tom, Catch me if you can.
Chick
Boy, that's a. That's a good movie.
Josh
That's a gem of a film.
Tom
And they say it's all fraudulent.
Josh
Well, you're fraudulent.
Tom
That whole story is.
Chick
Is there anything you can let us enjoy? Everything makes you happier.
Tom
It turns out that guy. That guy made all that up.
Christy
Ringo didn't really play the drums.
Chick
No, no, actually, look it up. Bernard.
Josh
Bernard.
Chick
Bernard Purdy played a Lot of the drums that Ringo says he did.
Josh
Well, who do you guys prefer? The first Paul or the second one after the real Paul dies?
Oscar
The second one.
Josh
There is a very, very compelling documentary.
Tom
Paul would have been okay if he'd gotten the start, his driver's license, the brick. Now watch this.
Chick
Watch this, everybody. That documentary with Paul and Rick Rubin on Hula, I love that. Really good.
Christy
Fantastic.
Tom
Not as good as the one about Jim Morrison, who's now a janitor in Syracuse.
Chick
Yes, this actually is said during that documentary. There's nothing you could say to convince me that I wasn't speaking king with the Lizard King.
Tom
That is so awful.
Josh
I've got to watch it.
Chick
Oh, it's amazing because one of the pictures, the first picture you see is like, oh, okay, I can see that. But then when you see him live in person, it's like, well, I look more like Morrison than this.
Josh
Morrison is still alive with Elvis and Jim Varney.
Chick
Okay, you drugged Ernest into this.
Josh
He's out there, my friend.
Chick
All right.
Tom
What would he say if you saw him today? Day.
Josh
Know what I mean?
Tom
Know what I mean? My. My shoes have orange in them. Know what I mean?
Josh
Oh, I see.
Tom
Yes, try to keep.
Josh
Yes, I'll try to pay more attention. If you have back pain, hip pain, knee pain. Hey, you are being affected by stress on your body and discomfort and whatnot.
Tom
Well, it's too much fluoride in your feet.
Josh
It could. Boy, are your feet soaked in fluoride.
Chick
Just think how much better your feet will feel after you get that real id. Remember, that's coming up.
Josh
It's very important. I'm doing good work here.
Chick
But letting everyone know, hadn't been for me, they would have couldn't have gone on that plane.
Tom
The bottom of your feet are like fingerprints. They're all you gotta get. They gotta get some support. Because they're all different. You wanna get the right size.
Chick
That's why they print them when you're born.
Josh
Yes, exactly, exactly. Orange insoles offer arch support and a deep heel cup that work better in your shoes to help support your body.
Chick
Bowl of soup and a candy bar.
Josh
And better alignment is given to you as well.
Tom
And once again, for those of you trying the orange insoles taped to the bottom of your shoe, they go inside the shoe. This is a public service announcement.
Josh
Hence the. In. The orange outsoles aren't a thing. Find the right fit for you and whatever shoe you wear, here's what you do. You go to orangeinsouls.com they have this quiz. You tell Them what you do, what shoes you wear. What.
Tom
Do you put your pants on after you put your shoes on? If so, please buy something else.
Chick
Yeah.
Tom
You must be. You are. You're obviously a drooling moron. What?
Chick
What?
Josh
Orange insules.com Put my shoes on then.
Tom
I forgot my pack.
Josh
They have all kinds of sizes. 15 plus. And here's the key. They come to you true to size. We've all experienced those insoles that you have to cut out yourself. Like floor mats.
Chick
You get those switch. Yeah.
Josh
Those car floor mats that you have to cut yourself to fit.
Tom
Yeah. These are the relatable.
Josh
Go to Originsouls.com today for free shipping. You cut yourself plus Origin souls come with a 60 day we car.
Chick
Do you have. You have to trim your floor.
Josh
You've never bought. Yeah, I know. I know what you're thinking.
Tom
You think I speak about things unrelatable.
Chick
I make a list.
Josh
I'm telling you, if you've ever had.
Tom
To cut, cut out angels for a Christmas tree. You know how hard it can be.
Pat
I'm telling you.
Josh
80% of our listeners know what I'm talking. I would say you have to buy floor mats for your car. You buy them and then you cut them to the size.
Oscar
Yeah.
Josh
Yes. Not everybody has weather tech.
Jeff
Yes.
Chick
Is that right?
Jeff
They have like a double. They have like. Yeah. Trim on both sides.
Josh
That's orangeinsouls.com feel better. Do more. I, I would, I would understand if you wrote us and said what was that ad for?
Jeff
I put floor mats on my feet. I don't get it.
Josh
They kind of are like floor mats for your feet.
Chick
Is he hanging out right now?
Josh
Oh, well, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to my car and get a crowbar and a pair of scissors.
Chick
What are you going to do with that, Josh?
Tom
Thank you very much. We'd like to say hello to orange insoles. They're actually very, very good. They are very in my shoes right now, which I'm going to take this foot and kick. Josh. Now when we come back back. It's a really weak day in history, but we're gonna attempt once again to enlighten you with some facts. Okay. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.
Pat
Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning even though we're.
Chick
Not too much to look at.
Pat
You can also watch the show on our YouTube channel.
Tom
They're doing a special tribute to the album this Saturday at the Jazz Kitchen. Kitchen. I think the first show is already sold out, but it's just been released a couple weeks ago. It's already climbing the charts. The national jazz charts. Great stuff.
Chick
You will take me and buy me a mojito.
Tom
It's great. So get all the details. I believe it's available as a cd@bandcamp.com and also it's of course downloadable and it's available streaming on Spotify. I was listening to it this morning. It's great. Congratulations to Steve Ali and all those great players on there. It's just terrific stuff. I want to remind you also Steve Martin. Martin. Short tickets. A second show added a 4 o'clock in the afternoon show coming up October 25th. It's a Saturday afternoon. The evening shows already sold out. Iheartradio AP to win.
Chick
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee and Josh Arnold. Pat Godwin. Jeff Oskay. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.
Tom
Hello, Chick McGee. I've got a recommendation for you.
Chick
All right. Hit me, Daddy.
Tom
Do something interesting today and you'll be part of Today in History in perpetuity.
Jeff
Oh, again.
Tom
Because most of the stuff today in history is not that exciting. Oh, I've got a. I got it.
Chick
I'm. Now for Today in History. That's not that exciting.
Tom
Okay, you'll be the judge, but here's Tom. Birthdays, 1961. Susan Boyle.
Chick
She's the singer from England, right?
Tom
Yeah.
Jeff
Yeah.
Josh
That was a nice story, wasn't it?
Jeff
Yeah, it was a very nice story.
Chick
I didn't care for her voice either.
Josh
You didn't?
Chick
No, that was a little bombastic. Yeah.
Oscar
Well, then all that horrible stuff about her came out about the puppies and what?
Chick
Puppy smuggler. Take him to Belgium.
Tom
And so Randy Orton. Oh, sure.
Josh
Wrestler. Yeah.
Tom
Oh, Cowboy Bob Orton's kid, born in 1980. Taryn Killiam from SNL.
Chick
Oh, yeah, he's really. He's. He's a funny guy.
Tom
Yeah. Then. Because, of course, today is April 1st and the April Fool's Day tradition, popularized in 1700. So this dumb day.
Chick
So this isn't like a federal holiday or any of that. Right. It's just. How does this perpetuate? Because I don't. I don't see anybody doing anything for April Fool.
Tom
Early on it was jokes like, hey, I hear your mother has smallpox and is going to die.
Josh
Oh, what, that humor from the 1700s?
Tom
Just kidding. April Fool. That's great. That's great.
Josh
By the way, Chevy Reynolds, birthday.
Tom
She really does. Oh, it is. I didn't see that one.
Chick
You didn't see Debbie Reynolds. No, she was the unsinkable Molly Brown.
Josh
Ali McGraw.
Tom
Ali McGraw. Yeah, I saw that she turned 86. That's hard to believe.
Chick
Man on wheels, man.
Tom
From Love Story.
Josh
Oh, no kidding.
Jeff
Have you met her?
Chick
Watch Love Story. See if you don't think she's never seen it. She's cool. He's not that good of an actress.
Josh
I know that love means never having to say I'm sorry for not seeing Love Story.
Christy
Story.
Tom
Okay, we have a.
Chick
It's sad.
Tom
We have audio in this next one. Oh.
Chick
Oh, good.
Josh
Is it a fart?
Tom
Is it a quiz night? I'll make it a quiz.
Jeff
All right.
Tom
In 1970, President Richard Nixon signed a measure banning what? 1970.
Jeff
1970, yeah. Oh, I know the answer because I saw this earlier.
Chick
Right and wrong.
Jeff
No, it banned cigarette ads on TV and radio. Right?
Tom
Yeah. Yep.
Jeff
Yeah.
Tom
And that's because before then you'd hear this. The Flintstones brought to you by Winston.
Chick
America's bestselling, best tasting filter cigarette. Winston tastes good like a cigarette shoot. Yeah.
Tom
That's real.
Josh
Yeah.
Tom
That is. That is the heritage. Can you be mad that they're sitting in Madison Avenue going, well, we gotta sell them to the kids, you know, gotta get them when they decide to smoke. Make sure they smoke Winston's. Let Fred and Barney do it.
Chick
Hey, Fred, I love you, you love me.
Tom
Not that Barney.
Josh
Oh, he's having his own little moment.
Chick
I'm surprised you just didn't add. Thank you very much.
Tom
We have. Are some T shirts available? The pop up store store for Bob and Tom stuff is up and running today and tomorrow only, including those cool shirts from Cincinnati and Toledo. Please check them out once again. It's@bobandtom.com the little pop up store. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Thanks for listening. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Pat
For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom show contest rules, go to bobandtom.com contest rules.
Tom
Or just scroll down to the bottom.
Pat
Of the page and see Contest contest rules.
Chick
This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Pat
NBA veteran Jim Jackson takes you on the court.
Tom
You get a chance to dig into my 14 year career in the NBA and also get the input from the.
Josh
People that will be joining.
Chick
Charles Barkley.
Josh
I'm excited to be on your podcast, man. It's an honor. Likely entrepreneur, filmmaker, Academy Award winner, Nixon. Now you see I got you. But also how sports, brings life, passion.
Tom
Music, all of this together.
Pat
The Jim Jackson show, part of the.
Tom
Rich Eisen Podcast Network.
Pat
Follow and listen on your favorite platform.
The BOB & TOM Show – April 1, 2025: Detailed Episode Summary
Release Date: April 1, 2025
The April Fool's edition of "The BOB & TOM Show" blends humor, sports commentary, and engaging discussions, staying true to its signature mix of comedy, talk, news, and sports. Hosted by Bob, Tom, and their team, this episode offers a variety of segments that entertain and inform listeners. Below is a comprehensive summary capturing all key points, notable quotes, and highlights from the episode.
Timestamp: [00:45] – [03:32]
The show kicks off with Pat introducing the "Who’s on the Juice?" segment, a spring training guessing game featuring legendary baseball figures. Today's contestants include Jason Giambi, Barry Bonds, and Gary Sheffield. The segment is filled with playful banter and humorous questions poking fun at each player's infamous connections to performance-enhancing drugs.
Despite the edgy humor, the segment maintains a lighthearted tone, making it entertaining for both baseball enthusiasts and general listeners.
Timestamp: [07:57] – [23:23]
In this segment, the hosts delve into old and quirky phrases passed down through generations. Listeners submitted their family's unique sayings, adding a nostalgic and humorous flair to the discussion.
Other notable catchphrases include:
The segment showcases the diverse and often amusing language used within families, resonating with listeners who share similar experiences.
Timestamp: [23:43] – [50:00]
Chick McGee takes the lead in the sports desk segment, providing updates and engaging in lively discussions about current sports events.
The hosts express mixed feelings about the dominance of high-seeded teams, suggesting a lack of "Cinderella" stories this season.
Timestamp: [10:02] – [17:00]
The hosts cover intriguing and unusual news stories, blending humor with factual reporting.
These stories highlight unexpected behaviors in pets and unusual human altercations, providing both shock value and comedic relief.
Timestamp: [32:30] – [44:10]
The show celebrates extraordinary achievements, featuring unique world records set by ordinary individuals.
Quotes:
The hosts humorously discuss the practicality and unusual nature of these records, blending awe with sarcasm.
Timestamp: [32:23] – [88:21]
The hosts explore groundbreaking inventions and technological advancements, often interspersed with promotional segments.
Segment Wrap-Up:
Quotes:
Promotional Message:
Throughout the Episode
The episode is peppered with witty exchanges, personal anecdotes, and playful ribbing among the hosts and co-hosts.
The camaraderie among the hosts adds a dynamic and relatable element to the show, making listeners feel part of the conversation.
Throughout the Episode
In alignment with typical podcast structure, the episode includes various promotional spots seamlessly integrated into the content.
These segments provide valuable information on products and services, ensuring listeners are aware of offerings that may benefit them.
Timestamp: [03:32] – [07:43]
Given the episode's release on April 1st, the hosts incorporate themed humor and jokes related to April Fool's traditions.
The playful atmosphere reflects the spirit of April Fool's Day, with lighthearted pranks and jokes interwoven into the dialogue.
The April Fool's 2025 episode of "The BOB & TOM Show" delivers a rich mix of humor, sports analysis, and engaging stories, all while maintaining the show's trademark lively banter. From a humorous spring training game with baseball legends to celebrating quirky world records and exploring innovative inventions, the episode offers something for every listener. Notable quotes and dynamic interactions keep the content fresh and entertaining, ensuring both regular listeners and newcomers find the episode enjoyable and informative.
Notable Quotes:
Pat (01:23): "Are you able to accomplish this miraculous feat because A, your God's favorite ballplayer B, you promised a dying kid you'd do it for him, or C, you ingested enough human growth hormone to grow twins out your backside?"
Christy (02:34): "I'll say D as in don't ask me that again, dumbass, or I'll knock your damn head off."
Chick (49:43): "A pizza shop owner from Zionsville, Indiana, has broken the Guinness World Record for running a marathon while carrying a pizza box."
Tom (66:11): "The guy kept it from hitting him. He conk. Blocked it."
Jeff (142:24): "They make the wiring out of soy, which is attractive to the animals."
These quotes exemplify the show's blend of humor and candid conversations, enhancing the overall listening experience.