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Tom Griswold
This episode brought to you by Progressive Insurance.
Chick McGee
Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Shifting a little money here, a little.
Tom Griswold
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Christy Lee
It's the Bob and Tom Show.
Tom Griswold
I.
Chick McGee
Guess I'm tired of Oprah Winfrey's ass telling me every move to make Getting tired of Martha Stewart's ass telling me how to bake a cake and I've.
Josh Arnold
Just about had my fill of Dr.
Chick McGee
Phil tired of looking at Tiger's ass and Shaquille O. Neal Harris Hilton could up a county fair Just proof that you can be stupid still be a billionaire.
Christy Lee
I'm tired of Simon's ass telling people that they can't sing I'd fire Donald.
Chick McGee
Trump's ass for knowing every thing Jim.
Christy Lee
And Brad and Angelina's ass I'm about.
Chick McGee
Tired of looking at them and I'm about ready for Hollywood's ass to run out of film.
Christy Lee
I'm tired of everything on TV Everybody.
Josh Arnold
Loves Raymond except for me.
Christy Lee
I'm tired of that Lance's ass in.
Chick McGee
France riding on a bike and I.
Josh Arnold
Could pretty much give a damn what.
Christy Lee
Some actress's dress looks like It'd be.
Josh Arnold
Nice if hip hop's ass would finally learn to play three chords and I'm about fed up with Nashville's ass and.
Christy Lee
The Hand me a trophy awards Barry.
Josh Arnold
Buns hittin a bunch of fake home.
Christy Lee
Runs and a fake ass Larry the.
Josh Arnold
Cable's ass and get her done.
Chick McGee
I'd like to watch football's ass without.
Josh Arnold
Worrying about Tio and I'm resolved to tell W's ass where the he can.
Chick McGee
Go I'll be the first to second.
Christy Lee
Telling the third world what the they can do It'd be fun to watch.
Josh Arnold
Mel Gibson's ass get whipped by the Jews I'm tired of my own ass.
Chick McGee
Singing this song There's a lot of people's ass I'm tired of but the.
Josh Arnold
List is too long and I could.
Christy Lee
Be wrong.
Chick McGee
I could be wrong.
Christy Lee
That'S him. Tim Wilson. Hello, hello, hello. It's the Bob and Tom Show. Good morning. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Look over there. There's Christy Lee hi Chee she's at the Silac Insurance.
Pat Godwin
What?
Christy Lee
Yeah. What the heck? Hi, Chick. I don't know. I don't know. What's going on over there. All upset. I don't know.
Pat Godwin
Oh, boy.
Christy Lee
We're in for it this morning. Watch out, there's Pat Godwin.
Tom Griswold
Hey.
Christy Lee
See, there's a hay. Hey, there's a hay.
Tom Griswold
Hey.
Pat Godwin
Oh, you want to know? You weren't even looking at me.
Christy Lee
Here, here, here, here. Ready?
Tom Griswold
Go ahead.
Christy Lee
Say good morning to me and I'll say, like you say, good morning.
Pat Godwin
Morning, Chick.
Christy Lee
Hi. Something's wrong.
Chick McGee
Uh, oh.
Christy Lee
And then you say, what's wrong? What's the problem? And she'll go, I'm moving. No, no, no, no.
Chick McGee
I'm moving.
Tom Griswold
Chick.
Christy Lee
No, here's the one. Nothing.
Pat Godwin
That's what we always say.
Christy Lee
That's where they. You want to go in the closet with a good sturdy beam and.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, yeah.
Christy Lee
Hi, Josh. Hello.
Tom Griswold
You don't need a big stool, just, you know, one to kick away. Well, hello.
Pat Godwin
I don't know why that is.
Christy Lee
Speaking of stools, does that happen quite often when you hang yourself? Hang?
Tom Griswold
I. I have no idea. Let's just move on. We have ourselves a subject to change into. Good to see you. Now, Pat.
Christy Lee
What?
Tom Griswold
I wanted to get right to this because Josh was on his fishing vacation. It was actually a contest. Josh did great. Caught a nice big fish. And while he was gone, he missed a couple of songs.
Josh Arnold
Oh, well, that can't be.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. And. And there was. And he also. And he missed a story. We mentioned it briefly yesterday. This involved a funeral. I don't know if you remember this one, but the. The pallbearers were carrying a casket, and they were at the grave site, and this was in the Philadelphia area. And they got. I guess it was kind of rainy or something, but they got. They got close to the grave and they slipped and they all fell in. One guy landed on the ground. The casket landed on top of him. It knocked him out, and he was face down on the mud.
Chick McGee
Oh, it's brutal.
Tom Griswold
It's rough. It is really rough. But everyone got out okay. Well, the decedent remained sure. Deceased, of course.
Christy Lee
Yeah. He stayed dead. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
And he did not.
Christy Lee
True enough.
Tom Griswold
And the casket didn't open up. That would have made it even more. More. And Pat took the time and trouble to create an original tribute.
Josh Arnold
Top anything.
Tom Griswold
Poor. It's time and trouble.
Christy Lee
He really works hard on this. Okay.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, I did.
Tom Griswold
Slavery, three days.
Josh Arnold
Mr. Avilas. Poor Mr. Avilas.
Tom Griswold
That was the name of the deceased was a Mr. Reveal us.
Pat Godwin
That is correct.
Josh Arnold
Mr. Avila's past. His family cried stood by the graveside so sad that he died. It was cold that day and drizzly too. The grave was wide open. They're burying him right by his father and mother. He ain't heavy. He's your brother. Pallbearers lifted him up on the planks. The wood was cracked and sog. Oh no. This thing's gonna go. They fell in the grave wide open with the body of Grayish.
Tom Griswold
Huh?
Josh Arnold
They fell in the grave wide open. The family's gone. I sound. Wouldn't you. I would. Poor Mr.
Christy Lee
Into the Grave wide open.
Chick McGee
Including a nice Holly's reference.
Josh Arnold
I know.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, it's. And they are apparently they are suing.
Pat Godwin
That it was the well wouldn't.
Chick McGee
Well, I mean did the table that they were setting the thing on.
Pat Godwin
I think the wood.
Tom Griswold
It looked like the wood collapsed because.
Chick McGee
Obviously the pallbearers don't lower.
Josh Arnold
No, no, get on top of it.
Chick McGee
Right, right.
Josh Arnold
I think moment.
Christy Lee
Aren't there some like an elevator thing? No, they have like, I want to say like a rope or old timey cloth or something that all the pallbearers hold and they lowered into the house.
Chick McGee
I think I don't man. If that still happens now, that'd be surprising.
Pat Godwin
I haven't maybe in some that in a while.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. I mean in some cultures they still have the. Have the rope drop you six feet down. Do you know why they do six feet?
Pat Godwin
Why?
Christy Lee
If you go to even number.
Tom Griswold
No. If you go too shallow, the, the wolves get you. Yeah. The coyotes dig you up, et cetera, et cetera.
Josh Arnold
Six feet.
Pat Godwin
Yeah, yeah.
Tom Griswold
I, I, whatever you got these days, we got. We got dire wolves and dire wolves being bred. We got everything out there.
Pat Godwin
Okay. Last time you were at a gravesite, did we all left before the casket went down?
Chick McGee
Sure, yeah. Most people don't stay there.
Tom Griswold
Right.
Christy Lee
And however, there are normal. Every now and then you'll see. I'm going to say practically every graveside there's a guy, a couple of guys standing next to a truck with some shovels.
Pat Godwin
Yeah.
Christy Lee
Off in the distance.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Christy Lee
Respectfully, you're right.
Tom Griswold
They are there. Yeah, but that's disturbing. They're sitting there smoking as they have here, looking at their phones. Hey, I got Wordle and 4 Lloyd.
Chick McGee
The Sextons, they're called.
Christy Lee
And every now and then you'll hear.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Christy Lee
Let'S go.
Tom Griswold
They have a name coming back.
Christy Lee
That's right.
Pat Godwin
Right, The Sexton.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Sexton is a guy, is a person who works A graveyard. Things around. Yeah, that can be part of it.
Christy Lee
Only if they're good looking. They're sex.
Chick McGee
Yeah. The sexy sexton.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Pat Godwin
I've never heard that. Thank you for learning me, Josh.
Tom Griswold
And that can also be. That can be a problem that when they lower it, you get the occasional stage dive, if you will.
Chick McGee
I think that's why they don't often do that.
Christy Lee
I haven't ever seen a stage dive. I've seen a. Not in the hole. I've seen at the.
Josh Arnold
I've seen an attempt to stage at.
Pat Godwin
The services saying where somebody's alive, dives in because they don't want to lose their loved ones.
Josh Arnold
Jump on top of the case.
Christy Lee
Characteristically, it's someone who treated the decedent poorly in love.
Tom Griswold
This is your anecdotal research based on the one event in which you.
Christy Lee
I see the emasculation.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Christy Lee
Devastating and.
Tom Griswold
Okay, very good. What's coming up in the sporting scene?
Christy Lee
Boy, what a great question, Tom. Thank you. We had the NBA playoff games last night.
Chick McGee
It.
Christy Lee
We'll talk about it. Remember the game keep away when you used to play, let's say your brothers or you know.
Tom Griswold
Sure, yeah.
Christy Lee
People started yelling and stuff. Get the ball. Things like right now.
Tom Griswold
That's different from smear the queer.
Chick McGee
It is.
Christy Lee
Yes.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Christy Lee
They're. They're related. Yeah, I think.
Tom Griswold
And queer in that sense meant odd. Not.
Chick McGee
No, it sure didn't. But everybody knew what you were doing.
Pat Godwin
That was dodgy.
Christy Lee
That's right. Yeah, that's right.
Chick McGee
Nice try.
Christy Lee
Anyway, it happened last night in the NBA.
Tom Griswold
I just got thrown bus. Oh, yeah.
Christy Lee
You got to put.
Chick McGee
I just started the bus.
Tom Griswold
Well, your.
Christy Lee
Your explanation can't be so lame.
Chick McGee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Christy Lee
Come on now, kids.
Tom Griswold
Kids are terrible also.
Christy Lee
What else do we have? Oh, pickle ball raises its ugly head again. Until I get involved in pickleball. Then I'm going to be.
Josh Arnold
You're going to love it.
Christy Lee
The biggest. I. I might start. I want to be a commissioner. Okay, we'll start off there.
Pat Godwin
It's a lot of fun.
Christy Lee
See, we got deodorant and deodorant.
Chick McGee
In sports.
Christy Lee
In sports. I'll tell you what sport when we come back.
Tom Griswold
All right. How about that? Okay. Very good. This is all very good.
Christy Lee
Very good.
Tom Griswold
We have an event coming. It is known as Mother's Day. I'm gonna fix this for you. I'm gonna get this all done for you right now. Thanks to my buddy Steven Singer at Steven Singer Jewelers. You go to I hate stevensinger.com and look at the array of options you have for Mother's Day, including of course, the brand new limited edition 24 karat gold dipped blue moon rose. Now, as you know, these are real roses dipped in 24 karat gold. And this one around, obviously it's a beautiful blue, kind of a turquoisey blue. And it will last forever. This isn't like one of those flowers or the dozen roses that are going to die in just a few days. This lasts forever and it's guaranteed, by the way, of course, Steven Singer, famous for his diamonds, real earthborn diamonds, I might add. I will also say that the at last bracelet, always a good choice. As my suggestion is, if it's for your sweetie that's also a mom, how about the the 24 karat gold dipped blue moon rose with a bracelet dangling from it. Oh, yes. You're going to call me Monday and thank me.
Josh Arnold
Yes.
Tom Griswold
Now, this is Steven Singer jeweler. So of course the shipping is free. There's the full lifetime guarantee. It comes in a beautiful box with a very nice card with, as I like to say, serious card stock. This isn't just some flimsy hey mom. Thank you. No, it's a serious. I love you, mom. You're a great human being. Thank you. That's how serious this is. Stephen Singer jewelers. I hate stevensinger.com. the 24 karat gold dip rose. Check it out. Tell him the Bob and Tom show sent you. Tell Stephen hello to his dog, Buddy. We have lots of great stuff coming up. I'm very excited about today's show, including. Do you know what a beer cave is?
Pat Godwin
No.
Christy Lee
Is that like a drive up that sometimes they call the drive up beverage document.
Tom Griswold
The beer cave is the walk in refrigerator.
Chick McGee
Oh, okay.
Tom Griswold
At a convenience store.
Pat Godwin
All right.
Tom Griswold
We have beer cave news. Oh, and it's not good. Oh, okay. He'll be. You'll find out. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom show.
Christy Lee
Get in the zone. AutoZone.
Chick McGee
Annie's first oil change wasn't as hard.
Josh Arnold
As she thought because she went to AutoZone where a friendly AutoZoner helped her.
Chick McGee
Find the right oil and save on an oil filter. He explained the job and showed her.
Josh Arnold
Free how to's on autozone.com.
Tom Griswold
When she was done, Autozone recycled her old oil for free. No hassles, just help. Everything you need, nothing you don't get in the zone.
Chick McGee
Auto zone restrictions apply.
Christy Lee
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. It's hump day. I couldn't even make it that's kind of. Kind of sailed, right? Yeah, you love that.
Tom Griswold
No, I don't like hump days, Josh.
Pat Godwin
Okay, hack.
Christy Lee
This has been Chick McGee speaking. Hello, Tom.
Tom Griswold
Hello, Chick McGee. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios.
Christy Lee
Yeah, we are.
Tom Griswold
I got a letter, people. This what some guy says. I say O'Reilly.
Chick McGee
I don't know that I've heard it.
Tom Griswold
I don't know.
Christy Lee
I think I not noticed.
Tom Griswold
I'm getting the O'Reilly.
Christy Lee
We would have picked it apart.
Tom Griswold
Am I getting the Ow right in the jingle.
Chick McGee
You nailed it just now.
Christy Lee
The flavor of it. Yes.
Tom Griswold
Okay. All right. Now, let's see. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee is in the process of moving, so we're giving her a little extra.
Christy Lee
Oh, really? I hadn't heard anything about that.
Pat Godwin
I'm moved.
Christy Lee
Oh. Huh. So how's that going?
Pat Godwin
Great. New house, new things.
Tom Griswold
New a lot of boxes.
Pat Godwin
Actually, I learned a new thing.
Christy Lee
You gotta take a box. Hiring people unload a box a day.
Tom Griswold
Book of matches, gasoline?
Pat Godwin
No, we've had the kind of a luxury because our house hasn't sold that we've had a lot of time. So we're using the reusable totes. So you fill it.
Chick McGee
That's great.
Pat Godwin
Take it over, unload a tote, bring it back.
Tom Griswold
That's not right.
Pat Godwin
Yes, Now I know exactly what's in the box. The things that are stacked up.
Tom Griswold
Fill a tote, take it to your new house in the basement, leave it there and never open it up.
Pat Godwin
Well, there are some. Oh, trust me. There.
Chick McGee
That happens plenty of times too, doesn't it?
Tom Griswold
I have a series of time capsules in my basement. Oh, here's when I'm my four houses ago. I wonder what's in there.
Pat Godwin
Oh, we do have that museum as well. But for the most part.
Tom Griswold
Did you discover any sort of.
Pat Godwin
Oh, I found my cheerleading picture from fifth grade. That was.
Tom Griswold
We were hoping you were going to say, outfit from high school.
Pat Godwin
No, I didn't have that. They don't let you keep those. You have to, you know, you rent them like.
Christy Lee
Oh, hi. Hi, everybody. This is. This is Andy, Christie's husband.
Tom Griswold
Oh, look, it's Christie's husband.
Christy Lee
Thanks. Thanks.
Tom Griswold
How's the move going?
Christy Lee
I just want three minutes by myself. That's all I want. Just a quiet right. And every time I sit down get all the rain.
Tom Griswold
I heard that Christie's turn the tv. Because they had to hide all the spoons. You'd sharpen one and slits your wrists. I know. There are no knives around, honey.
Christy Lee
You want to go get it, Toad? No, I'm watching this show on tv.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Christy Lee
Can I have five minutes?
Pat Godwin
I'll tell you what. Andy's got a lot of.
Christy Lee
There it is. That's that sound.
Tom Griswold
That's sound.
Josh Arnold
That sounds like too much.
Tom Griswold
Yes. Andy has too much stuff.
Pat Godwin
How dare you not say too much? I said he has a lot of stuff, and a lot of. It's really cool. He's got a lot of memorabilia, if you will.
Josh Arnold
Good save.
Tom Griswold
So, yeah, memorabilia is the French word for junk.
Christy Lee
Yeah, I had some memorabilia during one of the legal predicaments. It ended up on the curb for the trash guys. Oh, I'm sorry to hear my memorabilia.
Josh Arnold
Memorabilia is gone also.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. In fact, you know, we just came up with a great idea for a store divorce. Have you did some. Toss all your stuff? We've got it. That'd be a great if. If for the lad can bring in all the stuff that they're dumping from old letters from girlfriends, et cetera, et cetera, and you can come back and get your stuff. It'd be like some kind of love pawn shop.
Pat Godwin
I have not thrown anything out. He has his area. He's got a big, nice study and a basement. He's got all kinds.
Tom Griswold
Oh, he's got a nice area in the basement.
Pat Godwin
No, he has the whole basement.
Tom Griswold
He gets the whole basement. Oh, but still, it is the basement.
Christy Lee
I can't.
Chick McGee
He likes the basement.
Christy Lee
I promise. You know what? It's quiet.
Tom Griswold
It's quiet. I just love to put a door on it.
Chick McGee
Let me go down there with the centipedes.
Christy Lee
It's really kind of relaxing.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, I like the dampness. It reminds me of my grave.
Chick McGee
Is that black mold?
Tom Griswold
I'll huff it.
Pat Godwin
We haven't even been married two years.
Christy Lee
More insulation, please.
Tom Griswold
Does this insulation have glass in it? I'd like to chew it. Well. So you're moving. You're moving, huh?
Pat Godwin
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Okay, how. Let me ask you this. How far is it between the house you're moving out of and the one you're moving in?
Pat Godwin
Seven miles.
Chick McGee
Not bad.
Pat Godwin
No, it's not bad. I know the route very well.
Chick McGee
Service roads, mostly.
Pat Godwin
Yeah, a little back roads, country roads. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
That's nice. Are you in the same county?
Pat Godwin
No.
Josh Arnold
Oh, I know your taxes.
Pat Godwin
Yeah, they're actually gonna go down.
Tom Griswold
Do you have your. Do you have your papers? When the police stop you.
Pat Godwin
Yeah, right.
Chick McGee
I'm a little surprised. With my taxes, the last, like, five years, I've been paying the wrong county.
Christy Lee
Okay.
Chick McGee
And she Goes, oh, you're supposed to be paying less. We had you marked down in the wrong county.
Christy Lee
Oh.
Chick McGee
And I go, nah, don't worry about it. I'm sure it's negligible. And then she told me the amount, and I go, go ahead and refile whatever you have to. I didn't realize it could make such a difference.
Christy Lee
And be quick about it.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Christy Lee
Oh, yeah, I think I know the counties you're talking about. And, oh, yes, and I also said.
Chick McGee
Hey, I don't have kids, so I shouldn't have to pay any school tax at all. I couldn't talk her into that.
Christy Lee
And also, you've never learned to drive, so I don't use the road.
Tom Griswold
Well, this sounds very exciting, Christy.
Pat Godwin
The girls are coming home tonight for the first time, too.
Chick McGee
Oh, that is exciting.
Tom Griswold
They get to sleep. Do you have a little room set out aside for them?
Pat Godwin
They each have their own room.
Christy Lee
It's like having three Christie's in the house.
Tom Griswold
What's that gonna. What's that gonna sound like?
Chick McGee
Okay.
Tom Griswold
Hey, could you record that for my car alarm?
Chick McGee
I'll be in the basement and does your bonus. Bonus son.
Pat Godwin
Bonus son has his own room.
Tom Griswold
Nice.
Pat Godwin
Yeah, everybody's got a room.
Tom Griswold
How old is he?
Pat Godwin
28.
Tom Griswold
Okay, so you're not gonna have to visqueen it, you know.
Josh Arnold
Well, no, no, that never ends.
Tom Griswold
I mean. Yeah, Pat, God had to visqueen this bedroom.
Christy Lee
We all went at it pretty good when we were 20. Oh, that's right. You.
Chick McGee
It looks like the set of Dexter in your son's room, right in the middle of it.
Pat Godwin
What is he, 14?
Josh Arnold
Yeah, he's 14.
Tom Griswold
Oh, boy, that's a good age.
Christy Lee
No, nobody says that.
Tom Griswold
I bet 100 bucks crackers in your pantry. Now, if you're just joining us, leave it alone. If you're just joining us, hello. Thank you very much. Happy to be here, too. Once again, we are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, and I am saying, O'Reilly, I got this letter saying I keeps the guy.
Christy Lee
Hey, it's one guy.
Tom Griswold
You're saying o'reilly.
Chick McGee
Yeah, I wouldn't worry about it.
Christy Lee
That person.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, we would have got.
Christy Lee
Okay, don't worry about it.
Tom Griswold
It's a time to review some letters. We love to hear from you, Bob and tom@bobandtom.com. and we have. I'm working on that. Real theme music.
Pat Godwin
I love this.
Tom Griswold
Well, we can't play it. I'll tell you why later. Yeah, financial issue.
Chick McGee
Never mind.
Tom Griswold
Tens of thousands.
Christy Lee
I know.
Chick McGee
Tens of.
Tom Griswold
No, no, it really Is no every time.
Chick McGee
Oh, do you get a notice? I see.
Tom Griswold
All right.
Chick McGee
He just lies to us. Lies right to our face.
Tom Griswold
No, no, I'll explain.
Chick McGee
No, no, no.
Christy Lee
Okay, first letter.
Tom Griswold
Hey, any song. What?
Christy Lee
First letter.
Josh Arnold
That's.
Christy Lee
Unless he plays it right.
Chick McGee
Right.
Josh Arnold
The Freddy's Fine.
Tom Griswold
Comes to us from BP junior BP junior the petroleum baron. Yes. No, I just didn't want to give his name.
Pat Godwin
Okay.
Christy Lee
Brian.
Josh Arnold
Bob Parsons.
Tom Griswold
Bobby Bob Parsons. That's close.
Chick McGee
Actually, you said the. But you said the petroleum baron and he said. No.
Christy Lee
He just wants to make it clear. Only three and a half hours left.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, yeah. This is from.
Christy Lee
No, nothing like broadcasting with Tom.
Tom Griswold
This is from. This is from Bruce Exxon.
Josh Arnold
Oh, yes.
Tom Griswold
And no, no. But he goes. I hate to admit it, but Tom is right.
Christy Lee
I hate Bruce.
Tom Griswold
Now, I was talking about the hotel that we were in in Iowa, and my shower. Now, it was very nice.
Christy Lee
God, how many letters did you go through until you got to one, Right?
Tom Griswold
The very first one. I don't believe you. You probably had a lesser shower because I made sure that I had the nicest room. Well, you are the best, Christy. I don't know.
Christy Lee
My room was nicer than yours because you weren't in my room.
Pat Godwin
I know what you're talking.
Tom Griswold
Wait a minute. By definition. Exactly. My absence defines your presence.
Chick McGee
Bruce was at the same hotel.
Tom Griswold
No, he had a similar experience.
Christy Lee
Listen.
Tom Griswold
Similar experience at a Hampton Inn.
Pat Godwin
Jump in, turn it on, and then jump back out.
Tom Griswold
He was at a Hampton Inn. You can't. Normally you can reach in, turn the shower on, get the water up to temperature, and then get in.
Chick McGee
Right, right.
Tom Griswold
In this one the way there's a non movable glass door. You've got to get in the shower and turn it on. So either you turn it and run out and get sprinkled, or you get up against the wall.
Chick McGee
Happens.
Josh Arnold
And you know, it doesn't bother a.
Chick McGee
Road dog for a while. And what I. What the trick is, no matter where I'm at, no matter this shower setup, I point, I try to pull that shower head down as far as possible so that it goes.
Pat Godwin
Well, aren't you lucky you can reach it. Bragger.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, no kidding.
Chick McGee
I didn't consider that.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. And Christy didn't take her stool because Andy wanted it in case he decided to kick it out from underneath himself when he. With the. With.
Christy Lee
I'm gonna. I'm gonna need. Later.
Tom Griswold
Don't take it. Take the bolo tie, tie. Tie it on a pipe, kick the stool and ah, the. The relief that death will Break.
Chick McGee
Why did you half saw the legs off this chair?
Christy Lee
Never. Never you mind. You ever. Are you ever in a hotel and you got the door open and you're in the. In the bathroom and you're seated and you look over and there's that mirror. It's in every hotel room.
Chick McGee
Never. Great.
Christy Lee
And all of a sudden you catch a. Hey, how's it going? Okay. All right.
Chick McGee
Who is that sad man?
Christy Lee
Who's that sad wrinkled man?
Chick McGee
Never look pumped.
Christy Lee
What happened to him?
Tom Griswold
Life is beautiful.
Christy Lee
My goodness.
Chick McGee
I had a buddy who said the biggest thrill for him. Remember when a lot of hotels would leave the USA Today out in front of your door?
Christy Lee
Oh, yeah.
Chick McGee
He said the thrill was to get it naked.
Christy Lee
Oh, oh, okay.
Chick McGee
And not look out the eye hole. The thrill was the risk of maybe getting caught grabbing.
Tom Griswold
Oh, and then. And then being put into a paddy wagon and being on some sex offenders list. Having to walk around the neighbors and go, hi, no, no, I'm not delivering USA Today. I brought it from the street. I'm going to every house.
Chick McGee
I want to know the judge who would.
Tom Griswold
A sexual perversion.
Pat Godwin
It's not a sexual perversion. It's funny.
Chick McGee
If you're caught, right, you could be caught urinating.
Tom Griswold
I could, yeah. I could go into great detail about there. People were urinating at an outdoor concert and they got. They got picked up and they got charged with a sexual crime.
Christy Lee
We should give a TED Talk on how many things you can be paranoid about, but you haven't thought about it yet. You'd really cover some ground right now.
Tom Griswold
There's some guy that wasn't paranoid on a marble slab at a morgue going, you know, if only I listened to Tom.
Christy Lee
Didn't you get caught?
Chick McGee
Probably the most serial outdoor uriner we know. Yeah, he loves a urinator, I should say.
Pat Godwin
How do you not? Well, never.
Tom Griswold
Never been caught because I'm good at it.
Chick McGee
We gotta call the cops on him one day.
Pat Godwin
Well, that guy was good at stealing his. Taking his paper without getting caught.
Tom Griswold
Can you imagine? You open the door naked and there's some little boy and his mom walk guy. She goes to a room, calls the front desk, the cops knock on your door, haul you away in cuffs.
Christy Lee
You know, I looked that woman, I grab my junk, I go, you want any of this before I put it away?
Tom Griswold
Oh, no, no. Okay, now. Now you're not just going to jail. Now you're going to prison.
Josh Arnold
Tom peed in the casino parking lot last time with me.
Christy Lee
Absolutely.
Josh Arnold
Went in to check in. It was light out.
Tom Griswold
He's a monster. Oh, I already did that.
Pat Godwin
Okay.
Tom Griswold
In any event, Joe Exxon. What did I say his name was?
Chick McGee
Yes.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, you did, Junior. He experienced the same thing. Okay, so your trick is a good one. You take the shower head pointed at the wall.
Chick McGee
Yeah, the wall or down. It's right to the.
Christy Lee
He said down.
Chick McGee
Yeah, but I have. When that doesn't happen, I have gone all the way to the wall.
Tom Griswold
I know that when they were designing it, they thought it was really cool.
Pat Godwin
Well, yeah.
Tom Griswold
Again, this is where every architect should be forced to actually use. Use the things they have to do. Every architect should be tied to a wheelchair and made to go through every building and see how incredibly inconvenient they've made it for people that are disabled. Just. Just a thought.
Chick McGee
Many laws about.
Tom Griswold
Fine, fine.
Chick McGee
I know when you were pushing your dad around in 48.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Things were narrow, I'm sure.
Christy Lee
And turns out he just. All he had to do was just stand up.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, yeah. That polio was a scam.
Chick McGee
Yeah. I heard he just wanted to get.
Tom Griswold
Out of n. That's what I heard. Yeah. Yeah. When that war started, he was only 60.
Chick McGee
Right, right.
Tom Griswold
Last time I heard, they weren't drafting 60 year olds.
Christy Lee
But you never.
Tom Griswold
You never know.
Christy Lee
How old, how old was your father when you were born?
Pat Godwin
That's what I was gonna ask.
Christy Lee
Can you think?
Tom Griswold
Oh, God, I don't know.
Christy Lee
He was old man. When I.
Tom Griswold
Give me a second. 50 something, 30 something. He was in his late 30s.
Chick McGee
Oh, okay.
Tom Griswold
All right.
Christy Lee
Well, that's almost normal now.
Pat Godwin
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
I also, I was someone. I was being a little bit of. A little bit of nostalgia, talking about the old days. And I, as I like to do, there was a time when one would go bowling and they didn't have the communist computer that is. Oh, this thing, you know, this, this, this is hooked up to some White House agency. They know every bowling. They've got your cameras on you.
Christy Lee
And here's another letter.
Chick McGee
Snowden tried to tell us about these bowling alleys. Oh, yeah, we didn't want to hear it.
Tom Griswold
I don't like the fact that they score automatically because it was such a difficult math problem to score in bowling. As Christy points out. You get to that 10th frame and somebody gets a spare. All of a sudden it's, oh, my God, I've got to get somebody in the phone. How do you score this?
Pat Godwin
You're right.
Tom Griswold
Got a nice letter here from Chicago from Brad in Chicago.
Christy Lee
Are you now or have you ever been a member of a bowling league? That's Right.
Tom Griswold
I have been an avid bowler for the past 35 years. I too miss manual scoring. As a kid, I would keep score at the tournaments at my bowling alley. In the overhead projector days. No, I hated those two. I just like the paper. You could do the overhead projector that everybody could.
Pat Godwin
People could see what you're.
Christy Lee
I'm known for my doodles, much like Lennon. John Lennon.
Tom Griswold
I would typically make $10 a squad plus tips. Doing two to three squads in a weekend as a 10 year old kid walking out with 50 to 75 bucks was all caps. Awesome.
Chick McGee
Oh, of course.
Christy Lee
What's he talking. A squad?
Pat Godwin
What's he talking about?
Tom Griswold
A bowling team? In other words, he would keep.
Christy Lee
So he would. He would keep score for people and not bowl?
Tom Griswold
Yeah. During tournaments. Yeah.
Christy Lee
Well, that's dumb.
Chick McGee
It was a little. I think it's an awesome size.
Tom Griswold
That's a great job for a kid. What was the. Did you have a job when you were a kid?
Chick McGee
Me?
Christy Lee
I bailed. Hey, you remember that for.
Tom Griswold
You did for three hours.
Christy Lee
I still bailed.
Tom Griswold
Hey, for three hours?
Christy Lee
Yes.
Tom Griswold
Did you have. You didn't have a job like when you're in junior.
Chick McGee
What do they call those? Bailiffs?
Tom Griswold
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Christy Lee
No, not really. I. I mowed yards a couple. A couple days. I didn't.
Pat Godwin
Couple days.
Chick McGee
Wow, you're a moment.
Christy Lee
Yeah, that's right.
Chick McGee
Why don't we go with moment from now on.
Christy Lee
I was a moment.
Josh Arnold
I was a mole man.
Tom Griswold
I'm sure it was really fun for this guy.
Pat Godwin
I have no doubt make that kind of money.
Christy Lee
It's because he agrees with you. We can't have every letter agreeing with you in some form or fashion.
Josh Arnold
We can't be our show from now on.
Christy Lee
That's our show now. You making these accusations. Weirdos coming out.
Tom Griswold
I am not going to read the.
Christy Lee
One that begins Preach.
Tom Griswold
Dear genius, you're a genius.
Christy Lee
What the hell's going on?
Tom Griswold
Can you score bowling? Do you know how?
Christy Lee
Yeah, it wouldn't take me long to remember, but that's like 10 plus the next two balls or something.
Tom Griswold
Depends if it's a strike or a spare, right?
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Yes, sure, sure.
Christy Lee
Yes, I'm familiar with the terms. We have a letter here. Tom is right. They do call that a strike. A strike and then a spare. And yes, you can get a picture of beer for 2.95. Right. Way to go to thank you, Tom.
Josh Arnold
Up here in Michigan.
Christy Lee
Boy. Tom, do you like to.
Tom Griswold
For me. Do you like to straddle the fan and dry your balls before you Throw.
Christy Lee
No, no.
Chick McGee
Little seven year itch.
Christy Lee
I use it for what you're supposed to. You dry your hands.
Tom Griswold
That'd be a great scene in a movie. Some really hot woman straddles the thing in it. Seven year inches up. Seven year itches up, I should say.
Chick McGee
And just a bush to all hell.
Christy Lee
And have somebody do it. I like to keep it hairy.
Tom Griswold
Like to keep it hairy.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Thank you very much. Well, right now, this portion of the.
Christy Lee
Right you are, Tom.
Tom Griswold
Hey, look, you tell Mark. He's the one that handed me the letters. I have no idea what they're gonna say.
Pat Godwin
Mark, under the bus.
Christy Lee
Don't stop.
Tom Griswold
Okay. Oh, this one begins right again. Oh, thank you. There he is.
Chick McGee
It's a curse.
Tom Griswold
This portion of the Bob and Tom show is brought to you by the Silac Insurance Company.
Pat Godwin
Yay.
Tom Griswold
If you've been following the stock market, it's like a. It quite literally is like a roller coaster investor. Not a lot of wheeze, more like a lot of.
Christy Lee
Ah.
Tom Griswold
This is where market volatility can be kind of scary. This is why something called an annuity may be the thing that you're interested in because it's protecting you from market volatility. Silac Insurance Company, they happen to be the experts on annuities. What's an annuity? Well, they'll be happy to tell you and you may qualify. Certain restrictions apply. Find out if this is for you. And what I'm talking about is when you retire, having a check come in in every month and you don't have to worry about it. It doesn't matter what happens with the stock market and you can't outlive your money. See what I'm talking about by visiting the Silac folks at Silac. That's S I L A c I n s.com silacins.com or just go to bobandtom.com, we've got a link for you and you can find out what I'm talking about. It's an annuity from the Silac Insurance Company. Social Security. Well, if it's still around, that may not be enough. Think about getting an annuity and get the details. S I l a c silacins.com Plan on it. Live on it. Coming up in sports deodorant.
Christy Lee
In sports deodorant and pickleball and other things that Tom's right about. We'll be right back.
Tom Griswold
We have moose in the news. Elephants.
Christy Lee
A moose is loose.
Tom Griswold
Thousands of them. Plus, do men fall in Love faster than women. We'll answer that question. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Christy Lee
Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe.
Tom Griswold
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds because Progressive offers.
Josh Arnold
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Tom Griswold
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Chick McGee
Potential savings will vary.
Josh Arnold
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Tom Griswold
Thousand dollars.
Christy Lee
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Thank O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs, parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts.
Chick McGee
Hey Chick. I bet somebody out there has named their dog after you.
Tom Griswold
Oh, well, okay.
Christy Lee
I would take that as a compliment, but I'm not.
Tom Griswold
You're no.
Chick McGee
Well, well, chick head.
Tom Griswold
Sorry.
Christy Lee
I would take that as a compliment because I'm not a Super bowl winning quarterback.
Chick McGee
Oh, you're taking number fact that Tom.
Tom Griswold
Named one of his dogs. One of my dogs is named Dungy after the great Tony Dungee, a member of NFL royalty. The only problem is when I'll, I'll take him to the vet and like there's a new clerk there. Dungy. No, no, it's you know, after Tony Dungy. And they go who? And I go, really? Come on, he's one of the greats. How many dogs are named Ditka out there in greater Chicago?
Christy Lee
That's. I sometimes change vets so I can explain Mrs. My. My golden's name. Mrs. Monkey to whoever a new person. Mrs. Monkey. That's, that's interesting. Yeah, she used to be married. She doesn't like to talk about it. Mr. Monkey had to go to sea. He's a sea monkey.
Tom Griswold
Does that get a chuckle?
Christy Lee
Does it? Oh, man, they carry me out of the vet.
Tom Griswold
Any of them ever take a number two pencil and shove it in their eye? I knew I should have, should have studied harder.
Chick McGee
I think that's you're gonna win over whether you mean to, whether you mean to or not. Some veterinary assistant.
Christy Lee
Yes. The next thing you know we're in the back making out and you're looking.
Tom Griswold
And I Think veterinary assistants, as a general rule, very hot.
Christy Lee
Yes.
Tom Griswold
I think always and will willing.
Pat Godwin
Okay.
Chick McGee
And obviously compassionate people.
Christy Lee
Sure.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, yeah.
Christy Lee
Oh, yeah.
Tom Griswold
I'll probably be walking all the way. No, don't do in that room. That's where we give the dogs their last shot.
Chick McGee
We don't want to be sad while we do it. Do we?
Christy Lee
Do you have. Do you have this at your vets? There's a little light when they have to.
Tom Griswold
No, this is the light. Coming up, we have cat smuggling in the news. Speaking of vets, I would have that.
Chick McGee
Light flicker like it was a prison movie.
Christy Lee
Have some. Have some respect.
Josh Arnold
I was at the vet last night and saw something similar.
Tom Griswold
Okay. You know, this is the second. We're ruining the show. We have Christy Lee at Real life Silac Insurance news desk. Maybe we should just go there before we get to. So you think it's disrespectful to name your dog after a dog?
Christy Lee
Incredibly, no.
Chick McGee
What I think was maybe disrespectful about that whole scenario is that you. Your girls kept saying, we want to name it this, and you went, well, how about Dungy? You essentially forced them to name it.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, that's not your choice. That didn't help.
Christy Lee
Of all the things you. You let them run wild in the street, no matter what they want, they get to have, but they want to name the dog. You say, no, it's going to be Dung. Dungey. And you stick to that.
Tom Griswold
They love Dungey. They love. He's such a sweet little dog. They love him.
Pat Godwin
Yeah, but it was funny because you got the dog for your daughter and said you can name her, and then you wouldn't allow her.
Tom Griswold
The name she was coming up with were not appropriate.
Pat Godwin
Like what?
Christy Lee
Not like dungeon.
Tom Griswold
They were dumb.
Josh Arnold
Oh, like you're the neighbor of all time. You name things. Great.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, Dungey's great. For example, it was Kelly's ideas. It was. It's a great name.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Chick McGee
That's all I had to say.
Christy Lee
I don't believe it. Like that.
Josh Arnold
We get a backdrop.
Christy Lee
Don't believe she came up.
Tom Griswold
I just thought of something. What was the name of your first golden retriever?
Christy Lee
Mrs. Gibbs.
Tom Griswold
Named after Joe Gibbs? Huh? Wait a second.
Chick McGee
Was it named after Marla Gibbs?
Christy Lee
I didn't name it after Coach Gibbs. I named it. I named her after Coach Gibbs's wife. Her AKC name was Mrs. Patricia Gibbs, which is Joe's wife.
Pat Godwin
There you go.
Tom Griswold
Oh, so, yeah. So that. That means I'm a dumbass.
Christy Lee
She's dead now. Of course, that Dog. Someone I was, I'd have been married to killed her.
Chick McGee
Oh, geez. Well, you were, you know, you were blessed to have her.
Christy Lee
That's. You know.
Tom Griswold
We broke up, okay? It wasn't a month later trying to move forward here.
Christy Lee
Hey, your dog died.
Tom Griswold
This is a. This is a new feature called the pot calls the Kettle Black in which chick attacks. Okay.
Christy Lee
Memorabilia's burned and all your yearbooks are cut up in the dumpster.
Chick McGee
I don't know how it happened. Yearbooks cut themselves up.
Josh Arnold
You know. Mystery to me.
Christy Lee
Hey, have you ever had any. Any sort of clothing cut up and thrown away or anything like that?
Tom Griswold
No.
Josh Arnold
How about a guitar in the front lawn?
Christy Lee
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Josh Arnold
See, you have a million pieces.
Christy Lee
In a lot of ways you really haven't lived.
Chick McGee
Honey, either you're mad at me or Pete Townsend was here.
Pat Godwin
I put a musician's things out on the front lawn.
Josh Arnold
But did you drop a. A three thousand dollar Martin out a window?
Pat Godwin
No, I didn't do that. Because he was a bass player. No, I'm just kidding.
Tom Griswold
It was offense.
Josh Arnold
I was a flander.
Pat Godwin
Actually, he was a lead singer. So was he.
Chick McGee
It was him.
Christy Lee
I was a philander.
Tom Griswold
I've got a nice letter here from Angela.
Pat Godwin
Hi, Angela.
Tom Griswold
Kind enough to write Angela. She listens on her way to work. That's my.
Christy Lee
Who's the Boss? Boss hun.
Tom Griswold
Angela. Angela, what lame TV show is that from?
Josh Arnold
Oh, that's who's the Boss.
Christy Lee
Tony Danzo.
Tom Griswold
I never.
Christy Lee
And they call him Tony on the show because they tried to use a character's name but he wouldn't answer. Oh, that's what.
Tom Griswold
I know that when I'm on my. When I'm on my deathbed, I'm going to say it's a shame I didn't have time to watch an episode of.
Christy Lee
Who'S the Boss while they won eight Emmys.
Chick McGee
Katherine Hellman's freckled. Freckled boobs. Yeah, yeah, I'm with you.
Josh Arnold
She was saucy.
Christy Lee
Don't you have to get back to the haunted house? Holy.
Tom Griswold
Angela, I'm not going to say where you live or what you do. She's got a very difficult job. We appreciate your hard work. Angela owns a bakery. Driving into work, she loves Frank Caliendo's latest impressions. Frank now does an impression of someone who isn't famous. It's his decorator, his wife's friend, who does the decorating.
Chick McGee
Ah, Daniel.
Tom Griswold
Yes, Dan. Yes. The next time Frank is in, she wants to hear more. Daniel. Well, Angela, I'll make sure, that happens. And good luck today at work. All right. We certainly appreciate your taking the time and trouble to write the Bob and Tom Show. Now we have time for one sports story.
Christy Lee
Let's see. I think we have Jimmy Butler. They call him Jimmy. Playoffs. Jimmy buckets. He had 38 points, seven rebounds, six dishes creating opportunities on both ADs. Steve Curry had 37 and I'm sorry, Steph Curry. And Golden State earned their seventh seed in the Western Conference playoffs by beating the Grizzlies 121, 116.
Tom Griswold
Never seen their locker room. They got the same sign. Golden showers.
Chick McGee
If they don't, I mean, they're wasting.
Christy Lee
And in the Hawks game last night, Trey Young was trying to play well. He was playing keep away from the referee, and he got two. Technical foul was thrown out of the game. These people are adults. What the hell's going on? Orlando wins 120 to 95 over that. I think we have the video coming up of that, maybe. Oh, here he goes. This is Trey Young in the y. The player 26, is the ref. He's walking around. Here you go. Here you go.
Tom Griswold
Psy.
Christy Lee
Give me that ball. Give me that ball.
Chick McGee
That is a frustrating.
Christy Lee
Look at it.
Tom Griswold
He won't give the ball to the ref.
Christy Lee
That's a geek.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Tom Griswold
Okay. Thank you. We'll be back with more sports. We have many exciting things coming up, including smuggling of animals of different varieties. We have a great elephant story in the news.
Pat Godwin
So sweet.
Tom Griswold
And we have deodorant and sports. It's very exciting. Wait till you hear this story. And your pits stink. In fact, I'll tell you what. I bet you can predict a joke I'm going to make.
Chick McGee
All right?
Tom Griswold
And it's not. Is that a good sex move?
Chick McGee
Right? Because that's not a joke.
Josh Arnold
That's never been a joke.
Tom Griswold
That's never once been funny.
Christy Lee
Can you. Can you give it. Can you give it? Give us the setup now so we can think. Or will it be no?
Tom Griswold
It'll be so obvious, it'll be instantaneous. I've got five bucks that says virtually all of you can get.
Christy Lee
Okay.
Chick McGee
I'll enjoy it.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Pat Godwin
For all of us.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Very good. Once again, we are in the O'Reilly.
Christy Lee
So we get a buck a piece.
Tom Griswold
Auto Parts Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show.
Josh Arnold
Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob.
Christy Lee
And Tom show this morning.
Josh Arnold
Get a look at today's show on our YouTube channel.
Jess Hooker
If you're shopping while working, eating, or even listening to this podcast, then you know and love the thrill of the hunt.
Christy Lee
But are you getting the thrill of the best deals? Rakuten shoppers do they get the brands.
Jess Hooker
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Christy Lee
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Jess Hooker
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Christy Lee
N.
Tom Griswold
Mr. Who are you?
Christy Lee
Welcome back to the Bob and Top show at the Silac Insurance news desk, it's Christy Lee.
Pat Godwin
Hi, chick.
Christy Lee
Hi there. How are you?
Pat Godwin
Great.
Christy Lee
Super. This is great news. There's Pat Godwin. Hello. Hello. Indeed. There's Josh Arnold.
Chick McGee
Hi there.
Christy Lee
He's at the i8. Steven Singer, Sidekick, Chicken.
Chick McGee
You better believe it.
Christy Lee
I'm Jake McGee and we are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Hello, Tom.
Tom Griswold
Thank you very much.
Christy Lee
Every single time.
Tom Griswold
What's that now?
Christy Lee
You're not paying attention when we go back on the air, you're over there working. No.
Tom Griswold
Where's you're doing your announcements. I'm over here getting ready for the next event.
Chick McGee
All right.
Tom Griswold
All right.
Chick McGee
He's preparing track meters.
Pat Godwin
What's our event?
Tom Griswold
We have interesting things in the news. Looking over the news, reading some interesting things. We were going to have a quick dip into the world of sports.
Christy Lee
We missed this yesterday. And we've made it sort of a tradition when this happens. Yesterday, April 15th, Major League Baseball was Jackie Robinson day. And all the players wear number 42. And let's not forget the fabulous Jackie Robinson song by Sir Duke, Duke Ellington. And the guy.
Chick McGee
Love it.
Christy Lee
Hits.
Tom Griswold
That's nice.
Chick McGee
And it has one of my favorite things. You guys know this?
Christy Lee
Oh, yeah.
Chick McGee
The band singing off mic. Yep.
Christy Lee
It's the best. But it's an afterback.
Tom Griswold
When Jackie comes to bed, the other team is through.
Christy Lee
They're through. I love that.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Christy Lee
You see Jack.
Tom Griswold
The off mic, horn players singing.
Chick McGee
Love it.
Tom Griswold
There was a local car deal that did that thing. I used to love that commercial.
Chick McGee
Oh, man. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
You got the. The sales guys out there. All right. Put your cigarettes down. Gotta pretend you're singing the jingle.
Chick McGee
You know who kind of does it? Big brother and the holding company kind of do it with peace of my heart. Did they do that in a Lot of their songs. I don't know because she's singing, obviously, main vocal, but. But then they take up.
Josh Arnold
Oh, I like that.
Christy Lee
Well, I never cared for that. That whole Janice, I'm Joplin, I am a fan.
Chick McGee
I think she was just a lovely, happy person.
Christy Lee
She.
Chick McGee
I saw a documentary and she seemed great. I was wondering though, the Janice biopic, they keep talking about it. We're due, right?
Josh Arnold
Yeah, we're due for the real one. I think Pink was supposed to do.
Chick McGee
It, which would have been fantastic.
Christy Lee
Do you remember who she went to high school with? Janice Shopland.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. She was first in her class in Texas.
Christy Lee
How about Tim Cowboy?
Chick McGee
Daughter of Scotch Up.
Pat Godwin
Jerry Jones.
Tom Griswold
Jerry Jones.
Christy Lee
Close.
Chick McGee
Lee Harvey.
Tom Griswold
Roger Staumat.
Christy Lee
Jimmy Johnson.
Tom Griswold
Oh, okay.
Pat Godwin
Jimmy Johnson.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Was in Texas.
Christy Lee
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Tom Griswold
She was just. I heard a nerve written. She goes, yeah, we're gonna go ball. That was very, very.
Pat Godwin
All I remember about her is Southern Comfort. Is that bad?
Tom Griswold
No. You ever had a drink of that?
Pat Godwin
Yeah. Because in high school, that's like if maple.
Tom Griswold
If maple syrup could kill.
Chick McGee
Oh, SOCO was huge when I was in high school.
Pat Godwin
What do they call those? Tequila? No. Something sunrise, right? Or I don't remember.
Tom Griswold
I call it vomit.
Pat Godwin
Yeah, it wasn't good.
Tom Griswold
Let's. Let's move forward.
Christy Lee
Let's talk about Roger Maris. His jersey that he was wearing, it's going to go up for auction on May 2, when he set the record his 59th home run of the season in 1961, when he hit 61 and 61 and surpassed Babe Ruth for season home runs. Remember all this? And they think it's going to a new record as far as jerseys go. Let's see, in 2022, the jersey sold for $244,000. But since then, Babe Ruth, his jersey went for like $12 million or something. And then Paul Skeen's rookie card, the pitcher for the Pirates, his rookie card went for $1.1 million. Is these the baseball bad for a hurler Memorabilia. He'll be towing the slab later this evening.
Tom Griswold
Well, Maris's go for more than Babe Ruth.
Christy Lee
It's more, they say, maybe because it's so controversial, because in 1961, it was the first year they went to 162 game schedule and he did not break the record in 154 games, which was what Babe at.
Chick McGee
Nobody was rooting for Maris.
Christy Lee
No.
Chick McGee
That poor guy got no love.
Tom Griswold
There's a movie about it. Billy Crystal made the movie.
Christy Lee
No, no.
Chick McGee
But yes, it is the great Barry Pepper.
Tom Griswold
Oh, he's great.
Christy Lee
Everybody's wonderful. Except Billy Crystal casting a Paul over the proceedings.
Chick McGee
He is a sour man.
Christy Lee
Crystal means prick in Spanish. I don't know if you.
Chick McGee
For somebody who's involved in comedy, you'd think there'd be a little more levity. I'm a fan of what he does.
Tom Griswold
Go ahead. What do we got?
Christy Lee
A group of pickleball enthusiasts in Texas have broken the Guinness World. Son of a.
Tom Griswold
Stupid.
Christy Lee
World record. A group of pickleball enthusiasts in Texas have broken the Guinness World Record for the.
Tom Griswold
The most white people in a row room.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Christy Lee
Come to think of it, I don't think anyone's ever even brought that up until either. Now what? Why would you say that?
Tom Griswold
Because if you have, even if it's true. Ever been to my gym?
Chick McGee
And as a fellow grenade thrower, I. I like what you did there.
Christy Lee
Here's the thing. I think at your gym, even though all the white people play basketball.
Pat Godwin
Okay, good point.
Tom Griswold
Did I mention I think there's an unwritten. They replaced the basketball court. They did with the pickleball.
Chick McGee
And that's most accurate basketball TV show was of course the White Shadow.
Christy Lee
Of course the fabulous Ken Howard. He did a fellow on Broadway.
Chick McGee
Boy, that's. That's shocking.
Tom Griswold
Sorry. So what happened in the world of the exciting. The exciting world of competitive pickleball.
Christy Lee
TV station reports a team called the.
Tom Griswold
Pickle breakers right away. What a terrible name. That sounds like some cowgirls. I was gonna say a Pickle Breaker. Exactly. It sounds like. Wow. You don't want to go to the. The Bunny Ranch, whatever it's called. And hey, get.
Chick McGee
I don't want one of the Pickle Breakers.
Tom Griswold
I've heard the stories. There's. There's an ambulance outside. One more bent.
Christy Lee
I don't know if these people are couples competed but it seems to be. There's a guy and a girl on both sides. I don't know if they're romantically intertwined. I don't know. Okay. The man does oral. I don't know.
Tom Griswold
How long did they play?
Christy Lee
The particulars of it. Jarrett Petrus, Laura Mala Geneva Olsen and Chong Kim played for 36 hours.
Tom Griswold
One of these things. Things is not like.
Pat Godwin
Oh my.
Chick McGee
Yes, they were all accounted counted except.
Tom Griswold
One guy was a dry cleaner.
Chick McGee
Let's not go there either.
Christy Lee
Oh, oh, you guys can throw grenades.
Tom Griswold
Of all the choices.
Chick McGee
I appreciate.
Tom Griswold
I mean I. I suppose he could have gone with computer technician something agent secrets in the doctor so. I'm sorry.
Chick McGee
I do like the grenade chick.
Tom Griswold
Keep reading.
Christy Lee
They played for 36 hours. Keep reading. You know, remember when our various breads and butters were spontaneous behavior? Nobody knew what was going to happen, man. It was exciting. It was fun. And if you'll look at page three of our script, you're way off.
Tom Griswold
I've got it. Would tell you. I don't know if this is Geneva. Well, I mean, is Jarrett a man or a woman?
Chick McGee
Jared a man.
Pat Godwin
To merit a merit.
Tom Griswold
J A R E T. That's a guy's name.
Christy Lee
I think Jarrett and Chong are men. And Laura and Geneva are ladies.
Pat Godwin
Yeah, that makes sense.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Okay.
Christy Lee
And I think they doubles.
Tom Griswold
All right?
Christy Lee
And they put their car keys into a hat. And whichever car key you get, that's who you play with.
Chick McGee
Now, when they said mixed doubles, how come your mouth is watering?
Tom Griswold
It says their temper.
Chick McGee
Yeah, you have an alcohol problem.
Tom Griswold
We shouldn't make fun of it. They raised $18,000 for the getting a program. Taylor Gift Foundation. A charity supporting organ donation.
Chick McGee
Well, very nice.
Tom Griswold
I have a question. How come when you read these things that it's always for charity but it's never like for the Texas Syphilis Foundation?
Chick McGee
Like, nothing. Kind of embarrassing.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, it's always for something. Oh, organ donation. That's a good thing.
Christy Lee
The TS is doing great work.
Tom Griswold
The Texas Syphilis Foundation.
Christy Lee
Damn right they are.
Tom Griswold
What kind of logo would they have?
Chick McGee
The charity we tried starting one morning? Yachts for the Rich. Look, there are a lot of rich people out there, but many of them don't know.
Christy Lee
I don't know. They're this close to getting a yacht, though.
Chick McGee
Can you help?
Christy Lee
They don't do it for themselves. They do it for their kids. That's right. Yachts for Tots. How about it, Tom? Can you find it in your heart?
Chick McGee
They don't even have to be rich, though. We're just trying to get kids. Yachts.
Christy Lee
The yachts for Todd. Have you ever wondered?
Tom Griswold
What?
Christy Lee
Where tomorrow's yacht owners come in.
Chick McGee
But I live in Manhattan, Kansas. Shut up. Here's your yacht.
Christy Lee
Here's your yacht. Just imagine how proud you'll be in the driveway shining up your yacht on a Sunday after.
Tom Griswold
Nothing is sadder, though, than a yacht in a little tiny pond. It can't go anywhere.
Chick McGee
I can name 70,000 things unbelievable that are sad.
Christy Lee
Well, sure, sure, there's the world today. But the sad poverty is a yacht.
Tom Griswold
Or landmines. But nothing sadder than a beautiful 75 footer in a tiny little pond. Can't even start it up.
Christy Lee
Hi, I'm Chick McGee for yachts. For Todd. You know, we're going to be having a fundraiser this evening.
Chick McGee
1-877-Yachts.
Tom Griswold
By the way, that commercial is wonderful. The worst.
Chick McGee
I like it.
Tom Griswold
Every time I hear it, I change the channel. I'm sorry. And I still. And I think it's a scam.
Christy Lee
Well, we'll be right.
Pat Godwin
Some good work here.
Tom Griswold
Just kidding. Time now to save you you when it comes to Mother's Day.
Christy Lee
Save me?
Tom Griswold
Tom, let's face it now, you may have several moms in your life and.
Christy Lee
You might not know who your mom is.
Tom Griswold
Maybe your sister's a mother. Maybe your wife is a mother.
Chick McGee
Maybe she's got an alcohol problem.
Tom Griswold
Yes. Don't get. Don't get mommy dipso booze when you can get her some nice jewelry from Stephen Singer.
Christy Lee
Got on the program because gave me a Steven Singer rose. I look at that my. My coin every day.
Josh Arnold
That better be wild Irish rose.
Christy Lee
One more.
Tom Griswold
You know something? We.
Christy Lee
More day.
Tom Griswold
I didn't think we could get any worse. I was wrong. Stephen, you have my most sincere apologies. Stephen Singer Jewelers. This time around, it's the limited edition 24 karat gold dip Blue moon rose. This rose lasts forever because it's dipped in 24 karat gold. It's kind of a aquamarine color. And Stephen was telling me these are not going to last. Last year they ran out. So get this done right now. It comes in a beautiful box. There's a beautiful card. Heavy card stock. That's right. So you don't look cheap. And I don't know why you guys laugh at heavy card stock because no.
Pat Godwin
One talks about card stock.
Christy Lee
That's one of those.
Pat Godwin
No one cares.
Christy Lee
That's one of those yacht problems that people talk about.
Tom Griswold
Have you ever seen one of my thank you notes? They're in a nice.
Pat Godwin
No, you've never sent one.
Tom Griswold
Well, that's because you're not welcome.
Pat Godwin
Have you gotten it? Never. I didn't even get a Christmas.
Christy Lee
I got a thank you Note2 days ago from Tom.
Tom Griswold
Very good. Thank you. You're welcome.
Josh Arnold
Now, the heavy card stock.
Tom Griswold
Oh, heavy cardstock.
Christy Lee
Beautiful card stock. It could go in a museum.
Tom Griswold
But the larger point here is Stephen treat you right. Shipping is free, of course. And there's the full lifetime guarantee. Now, my recommendation, say the mom is your girlfriend or wife or.
Christy Lee
Mama's my girlfriend.
Tom Griswold
I didn't mean say it out loud. I meant in the. In the event that I'll talk to you.
Christy Lee
Jo. I'm saying it to myself.
Tom Griswold
Josh. Let's just say let's Just say we'll go into the future. 75 years. You're married?
Chick McGee
Yes.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Okay. You just have a semi grip on your continents.
Christy Lee
How many things off the top of your head, how many times you're going to be married and how many of them you're going to kill. What do you think?
Pat Godwin
Gosh, you guys are such a romantic.
Tom Griswold
So the larger point is that that lady is the mother of your beautiful children and you want to get her something nice. You can get her beautiful rose. And then I would recommend the At Last bracelet. This is my favorite Christie's favorite.
Chick McGee
I've seen Christie's. It's lovely.
Tom Griswold
Real diamonds. Thank you.
Christy Lee
Twins. Josh and Josh Maniac.
Tom Griswold
Is there someone out there named Joshina?
Chick McGee
I hope so.
Tom Griswold
Oh yeah. Or Jita.
Christy Lee
It looks just, just like you. Right down to the beard.
Tom Griswold
Joshita. That's a problem. Yes, dad. Anyway, Joshua again, not gonna look good on your Starbucks vest. My larger point here is shipping is free. Check it out@ihatestevensinger.com do not tell him about this announcement. Real diamonds from a real jeweler. And don't Forget, Limited Edition 24 Karat Gold Dip Blue moon rose. Where's. What happened to the one we had in here?
Pat Godwin
I don't know.
Christy Lee
Let's go.
Tom Griswold
I hate stevensinger.com come up. We'll try to get this show back on the tracks. We have deodorant in sports coming up and it's about time. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom show.
Christy Lee
It's part sports.
Chick McGee
We have football on the brain, part pop culture. Dennis Leary true or false. You refuse to wear a glove with Mickey Mantle's signature on it.
Tom Griswold
The movie the sandlot, the Red Sox blood, the Bruins blood.
Christy Lee
They run deep.
Josh Arnold
Add in the best celebrity interview.
Chick McGee
Robert De Niro here on the Rich Eisen Show. How are you, sir?
Christy Lee
Just got over a 24 hour virus.
Chick McGee
The antidote is to appear on the Rich Eisen Show.
Christy Lee
There you go. I would have done it earlier.
Josh Arnold
And you've got the Rich Eisen show podcast.
Chick McGee
There is a medicinal quality to appearing on this program.
Josh Arnold
Follow and listen on your favorite platform.
Christy Lee
Welcome back to the Bob and Top show. Hello, hello, hello. There's Josh Arnold, the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair and you know, trickster.
Chick McGee
Stephen Singer's limited edition edition brand new blue moon 24 karat gold dip for rose for Mother's Day is available now limited quantity. So get yours today @I hate stevensinger.com.
Christy Lee
There'S Pat Godwin. Maybe a Song.
Chick McGee
Sure.
Josh Arnold
I'm ready to go.
Christy Lee
All right. There's Christy Lee. Hello, I'm Chick McGee. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and as was told me earlier in the week, I found out some more information about Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher Paul Skeens because I believe as someone told me I googled it. Genius. So Paul Skeen's rookie card. He sold his rookie $1.1 million. That's almost double his rookie salary in Major League baseball. For his. For his baseball card.
Chick McGee
Wow.
Christy Lee
But he doesn't get the money from the baseball because it wasn't his. Isn't that interesting?
Tom Griswold
Maybe he should have bought one early on. Bet on yourself.
Christy Lee
I'm sorry. SK's making 875 and his rookie card goes for $1.1 million. Okay, so there you go. The most expensive sports card Mike trout sold for 3.9 million in August of 2020 y why are all. Why? Why? I don't. I'm too. You have taught me me to not believe anyone and not be suspicious of everyone and that's why this memorabilia I just don't cotton to although somebody and I forget his name and I'm. I'll look it up here. I apologize. Someone sent me a nice Sammy ball package with a Sammy autograph. He was football.
Tom Griswold
He was legend.
Christy Lee
Washington legend.
Chick McGee
Cool.
Christy Lee
Called himself a tough one. Tough some is what?
Tom Griswold
Very good.
Christy Lee
Very good. Oh yeah. The Atlanta Braves baseball broadcast team is facing backlash. Evidently a reporter out in the stands flirted with a fan during an in game interview.
Chick McGee
This couldn't have been. This is so overblown. Have you seen the video?
Christy Lee
I have not.
Chick McGee
This is as nothing. People are upset over nothing.
Christy Lee
During Monday's game against the Blue Jays, FanDuel Sports Network Braves reporter Wiley Bout spoke to two female fans about their Braves fandom before sending it back to the play by play announcer Brandon Gauden and color analyst C.J. netkowski. He said, all right, thanks ladies. I'm gonna go to work up here, guys.
Chick McGee
He says it just sort of offhand and somewhat charmingly right, but you can't flirt with a woman. What's wrong with people?
Christy Lee
And then the play by play Brandon Godden says, hey, you got four innings to get the numbers right.
Tom Griswold
That's all it was.
Pat Godwin
That's it.
Christy Lee
Ballard replied, I'm on it. And pulled out his cell phone and asked one of the fans he had interviewed for her number.
Chick McGee
Yes. He goes, yeah, the guys want me to get your number. She goes, oh, the guys do. You don't want it the guys just do. And then she happily gives her his number. Or it gives him her number.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Pat Godwin
And then they'll get married in a couple years and really.
Chick McGee
Well, the pro. No, you don't understand. Christy, she was put in a position where she was forced to get the nerves. No, no, no, no, you don't, you don't know her feelings.
Tom Griswold
Did she say, would you pass this along to the first baseman?
Chick McGee
There's nothing creepy about it at all. And I, it's. It makes me want to exit society.
Tom Griswold
But I think you want to exit contemporary society.
Christy Lee
Yeah, I think the dating world in general, getting. Getting numbers and that, a little creepy.
Chick McGee
And I know what you're saying, that's a good thing.
Christy Lee
I think that's. That's fine. You know, it's exciting.
Chick McGee
These ladies aren't upset at all.
Christy Lee
No, but. Yeah, flattered is the word you want, probably.
Tom Griswold
I bet this guy's wife's pissed. Yeah, that'd be.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
This is. This is making something out of absolutely nothing.
Chick McGee
No, they're having fun. But. But we hate men, so the world hates men now especially.
Pat Godwin
I don't.
Chick McGee
Yeah, I love all you men.
Christy Lee
Hi, this is. This is Andy again. I wish she'd.
Pat Godwin
I love him especially.
Christy Lee
I wish she'd bump into another guy.
Tom Griswold
I'm sorry. She's moving. Give her a break.
Christy Lee
Give me a damn.
Chick McGee
To me, a man. Now, to be a man with the slightest bit of confidence is illegal. It's ridiculous.
Tom Griswold
Well, we have. We have interesting dating news coming up. Josh, you'll be excited, but right now.
Christy Lee
A British tennis player is under fire effort after asking an umpire to tell her French opponent to put on deodorant. Is this a real story or did someone on our staff make this.
Tom Griswold
No, this true.
Chick McGee
Even the French part?
Christy Lee
Yeah, this is a little bit too. On the hat. On a hat nose or whatever. According to the BBC, Mrs. Harriet Dart was playing against Mrs. Ms. Lois Boisson at the Ruin Open when she was heard on the broadcast asking the official, can you ask her to put on deodorant? She smells really bad. Ms. Dart later posted an apology to social media saying, I want to apologize for what I said on the court today. Heat of the moment comment that I truly regret. Regret. I have a lot of respect for Lois and how she competed today.
Chick McGee
What sport is this?
Tom Griswold
Tennis.
Chick McGee
How often do you smell them?
Tom Griswold
Well, when you're doing the. When you're switching sides, they go and they towel off.
Chick McGee
And to me, this is just smack talk, isn't it?
Tom Griswold
Yeah, I think so too.
Chick McGee
There's no reason to apologize.
Christy Lee
And nobody tried to pick anybody up during this number. And they.
Chick McGee
Completely acceptable.
Christy Lee
Oh, listen, here's the big joke. Here's the big payoff for this story.
Tom Griswold
All right? Right. Just read the gut.
Christy Lee
Ms. Bon made light of the situation on social media, posting a photo of her holding deodorant.
Chick McGee
Oh, yeah.
Josh Arnold
Rub it in.
Chick McGee
Revenge. Sweet.
Tom Griswold
You couldn't see it all. The smoke from her cigarette got in the way. And then she also at the end her thing, she said to her British opponent, hey, nice teeth.
Chick McGee
Wrong week for this.
Tom Griswold
Oh, that's true. The British.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Pat Godwin
That is a wrong, bad teeth.
Christy Lee
French opponent. No deal.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Pat Godwin
Did you White Lotus story, right. About the bad teeth?
Tom Griswold
No.
Chick McGee
SNL made a bad British person and they.
Tom Griswold
And people are furious.
Pat Godwin
Yes.
Tom Griswold
I don't watch the White Lotus, so I have no.
Chick McGee
The same. I was not aware either, but I.
Josh Arnold
Did jump the shark this particular season.
Chick McGee
I wasn't aware.
Tom Griswold
There's a thing about. About the trope of the Brits with bad teeth.
Christy Lee
Well, if we could.
Chick McGee
No, she's just an actress. She's just an actress with a. It seemed to be a mild gap or something in her teeth.
Tom Griswold
That could be charming.
Christy Lee
They are, right? They remind me of Freddie Mercury's a little.
Chick McGee
Okay. And SNL made a joke about them and people, and she actually got her feelings hurt.
Tom Griswold
So they had one of the I'm a millionaire actress. I barely do anything but pretend to be other people.
Christy Lee
My vagina hurts, remember?
Josh Arnold
Well, in that case, that's a different gap.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Pat Godwin
She called it mean and unfunny. The parody.
Tom Griswold
Oh, grow up, Amy Lou. Yeah. Move to Gaza. Tell me you're having a rough life. Okay, well, there's that.
Christy Lee
She's wonderful, by the way. She's a lot of stuff.
Tom Griswold
So these two are finally.
Pat Godwin
That's her, right?
Josh Arnold
Well, yeah, she does have.
Christy Lee
Yeah, there you go.
Josh Arnold
That's her significant gap.
Tom Griswold
Is she.
Pat Godwin
Does she have a really unflattered.
Tom Griswold
She have a hot poker up.
Chick McGee
Is that the actress or is that the SNL parody?
Christy Lee
That is the parody.
Tom Griswold
Okay. Yeah.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Christy Lee
That's Sarah Sherman.
Tom Griswold
I think that's funny.
Chick McGee
I mean, it makes her look insane.
Tom Griswold
It's what parody's supposed to do.
Chick McGee
I understand. I see what.
Tom Griswold
You're odd. At least these two people were able to bury the axe.
Christy Lee
Parody is hurtful and mean. You just heard.
Tom Griswold
Grow up. Calm down. It's a fun TV show. Jeez.
Christy Lee
Which is a fun TV TV show. White Lotus.
Tom Griswold
No, I've never watched it. No, the snl, they're having Fun with somebody. Give the calm down. When did jokes become illegal? So she's got a pair of buckers. So.
Christy Lee
I'm fascinated.
Josh Arnold
We're gonna be mad at you now.
Christy Lee
Look at the. Look at those buckers.
Chick McGee
You know, if you live your life like I do, you just assume everybody's mad at you. It's pretty freeing. Yeah.
Josh Arnold
So I walk around, right?
Chick McGee
Right.
Tom Griswold
I don't have to assume they are. I. I know that already. You seen the picture of this French lady?
Pat Godwin
No.
Chick McGee
No.
Tom Griswold
What you should have said is, hey, why don't you do a little trimming of the crotch hairs, baby?
Christy Lee
Are you saying she like to keep it hairy?
Tom Griswold
She like to keep it hairy.
Christy Lee
You can see her bush.
Chick McGee
What are they called? Bikini spiders. Is that what they call these look.
Tom Griswold
Like they were going after Godzilla.
Christy Lee
Man, I gotta look.
Tom Griswold
I'm making it out.
Josh Arnold
French have hair on their armpits.
Pat Godwin
Yes, I know European.
Chick McGee
French people wear hairy and they stink. What are you gonna do? And they're say at least they're cowardly.
Tom Griswold
And they're smoking while playing tennis.
Josh Arnold
At least they buried the axe as a joke.
Christy Lee
Of course.
Chick McGee
Deodorant joke.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. It had in the wrong place though.
Tom Griswold
They buried the axe as opposed to the hatchet. You see? Ax, hatchet. Somewhat interchangeable.
Christy Lee
Holy hell. Is. Is that. Is that Lois? Lois is bench pressing. She's cut, man.
Chick McGee
Oh, the tennis player.
Christy Lee
Yeah. I don't know if she. Here, I can. Think I can hold this.
Tom Griswold
They're both very attractive.
Christy Lee
Check her out.
Pat Godwin
Oh, my.
Chick McGee
Oh, I bet she does smell.
Josh Arnold
But she's so big. You drop the computer.
Christy Lee
I think I'm gonna need a new computer.
Chick McGee
She's muscular as.
Josh Arnold
That's some.
Christy Lee
I'm not sure. We need to get some. That's genetics on her. Check chromosomes, I think is what we need to do.
Pat Godwin
Nice arms. I have arm envy. Arms is your gals. I have Armin.
Christy Lee
Angela Bassett.
Pat Godwin
No, Kelly.
Tom Griswold
Let's move forward. Is that sports? Yes, that's everything in sports.
Christy Lee
Every everything you. Including a salute to Jackie Robinson. That's right. Yes. Yes.
Tom Griswold
Jackie hits.
Chick McGee
That was a good movie too. 42.
Christy Lee
You know what made it good? It was a great story, terrific acting. And Billy Crystal had nothing to do with that.
Chick McGee
That was 61. I'm talking 42 with the Jackie Rob.
Christy Lee
No, no. I know.
Tom Griswold
Coming up in the news, we have.
Pat Godwin
We have a lot of dating news. Speaking of dating, we have.
Tom Griswold
And we have a lot of cool animal news.
Pat Godwin
Yes.
Tom Griswold
We have both elephants and ants in the news in different stories.
Christy Lee
Those are on different ends of the spectrum. Huh?
Chick McGee
Huge.
Tom Griswold
Speak to the spectrum.
Christy Lee
Why don't you go home?
Tom Griswold
We have. I've got to get a new intro for dumbasses in the news. We got.
Christy Lee
What happened to that?
Tom Griswold
I. I don't know where we put that, but we have a really real dumbass in the news coming up.
Pat Godwin
We called them worse than that.
Tom Griswold
We got mooses. We got. Wait a minute. Is it mooses or moose?
Christy Lee
It's a moose. It's moose. Okay, you're correct the first time.
Tom Griswold
Okay, very good. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, and this is the Bob and Tom Show.
Christy Lee
There's more of the show coming up. Book your next vacation with Christy Lee and Colette. Visit England, Scotland and Wales this September 28th. Visit bobandtom.com for details. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Tom Griswold
Details coming up.
Christy Lee
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs, get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Christy Lee's here. There's Pat Gupta. Hello, Josh Arnold.
Chick McGee
Hey, trickster.
Christy Lee
I am Chick McGee. This has been me talking. Hello, Tom.
Tom Griswold
Miss Harriet Dart. You had the news story about the tennis match in which the woman from England. Harriet Dart.
Chick McGee
That is such a British name, Harriet.
Tom Griswold
Dart was playing against Lois Boisson.
Christy Lee
Exactly.
Tom Griswold
And during the transition, she actually said. You can hear it on the BBC broadcast. She said. Said. Can you ask her to put on deodorant? She smells really bad.
Chick McGee
That's right. Getting her head.
Tom Griswold
Yes, I think that's. I think that's your thing. Yeah, you're right. It's just trash talk.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
And then. And then people are upset about it and I don't know. So. But by the way, the lady with the alleged BO problem did win.
Pat Godwin
Oh, she did.
Tom Griswold
Lois Boisson won is.
Pat Godwin
Take that.
Christy Lee
They call her Boisson the croissant.
Chick McGee
They do.
Christy Lee
Y. I love the.
Tom Griswold
I love the smell of B.O. in the morning. It smells like victory.
Christy Lee
Now, I'm curious. What accent is that?
Tom Griswold
She's French, but she grew up in Sardinia.
Pat Godwin
Oh, really?
Chick McGee
Okay.
Tom Griswold
She went to high school in the Dardanelles.
Christy Lee
The Sardines. Sardines.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Is that spot sports?
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
We completed. We have completed your sports broadcast for the.
Christy Lee
Oh, oh. We've got something new here, of course. Where we all love this.
Tom Griswold
Oh, whoa.
Christy Lee
And this is brand new, though. Listen to this.
Chick McGee
Very satisfying yawn. And did you hear that little at the end?
Christy Lee
Right at the end.
Chick McGee
Yeah, man, I bet that felt good.
Tom Griswold
I don't even remember real nice. Mics are on.
Christy Lee
I'm up. I'm awake now.
Tom Griswold
Christy, do you have the story about the boat, the ship, and the. The hoax bomb?
Pat Godwin
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tom Griswold
This is. Because I've got the new intro for it. We found it.
Chick McGee
Hoax bomb. Hoax bomb.
Pat Godwin
A Michigan man who was upset that.
Tom Griswold
Wait, wait, I gotta do the intro. Ready? Here we go.
Christy Lee
And now it's time for a Stupid mother.
Pat Godwin
Ah, yes, remember that? A Michigan man upset that his girlfriend went on a cruise without him is now going to prison for calling in a fake bomb threat. According to the U.S. attorney's office, Carnival Cruise Lines received an email last January warning. Hey, I think someone might have a bomb on your Sunrise cruise ship, you idiot. As a result, personnel on the ship, which had left Miami and was headed to Jamaica, searched over a thousand rooms while marine police escorted the ship to port. The FBI traced the email address to a Joshua Lowe, who was living with his girlfriend's family. Mr. Lowe admitted to sending the message quote, because he was upset that the family went on the cruise while leaving him behind to care for their pets.
Chick McGee
Unbelievable.
Pat Godwin
The 1919 year old was sentenced to eight months in prison for making a false bomb threat.
Tom Griswold
Whoa. That's a lot. No, it's not enough.
Pat Godwin
No, he's.
Tom Griswold
They had to turn the ship around.
Josh Arnold
That happens.
Tom Griswold
Sure, it happens. No, this guy's an idiot.
Josh Arnold
I agree.
Tom Griswold
Although it might have been more fun to stay at home with the dogs. And I don't know about this family. Boy, I heard that that woman. So his girlfriend and her parents were on the ship.
Pat Godwin
Sure.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
I heard she didn't sleep in her stateroom. Not a single night.
Chick McGee
Oh, no wonder he was.
Tom Griswold
She was sleeping with comedian Jeff Bodart.
Chick McGee
Well, he's a charming man.
Christy Lee
Is that right?
Tom Griswold
That's what I heard.
Chick McGee
Want to see my magic wand says. And the lady says, I sure do see my drawings.
Tom Griswold
My sketches sketch me. I mean, don't you think one of my eyes.
Chick McGee
Not quite right.
Tom Griswold
Wouldn't you rather hang out with the dog than go on a boat? What do you think?
Chick McGee
Well, I don't. I mean, I don't know. I'd like to go on a cruise.
Christy Lee
At some point, but I would, too. And I would love it if Tom would go with me so I can spend half of the time watching him and see how he reacts to others and the crew at the buffet. And just. So anyway, I was down at the buffet and nothing's covered.
Tom Griswold
Would you like A shovel, Ma'am?
Christy Lee
This woman.
Tom Griswold
I see you've positioned yourself in case they bring out the crab legs. This woman? Yeah, Humphrey.
Christy Lee
At least four bills.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Tom Griswold
Happy? Humphrey would have said, what a load.
Chick McGee
Ma'am, will you please stand in the center of the ship?
Christy Lee
Yeah. Oh, yeah. He'd say that.
Josh Arnold
Stay off the lido deck.
Tom Griswold
Ballast is being thrown.
Christy Lee
Whatever you say, fat ass.
Tom Griswold
Could you hike out?
Chick McGee
Boy, you are the iceberg.
Tom Griswold
The. The ship is healing. Big gal.
Josh Arnold
Please don't do any dancing.
Tom Griswold
So, anyway, that's. So that's our. Do you like the intro?
Pat Godwin
Yeah.
Chick McGee
I need to know.
Christy Lee
His. His voice is almost so deep, you can't understand what he's saying.
Tom Griswold
He's saying, time now for stupid. I know, but we'll get a new one.
Chick McGee
Please tell me it's the whitest person on our staff that did that.
Pat Godwin
No, no, no.
Christy Lee
It's one of Tom's stories. He met some guy at a grocery store or something and looked at him and said, you have a really great voice. Would you like to come over and record some stuff?
Chick McGee
How often in the production room did Tom say, will you street it up?
Tom Griswold
Oh, yeah.
Christy Lee
We need more street.
Chick McGee
The man's attorney.
Tom Griswold
No, no, no, no. He sleeps there, so he knows all about it.
Josh Arnold
Is this the Chuck Berry guy, too?
Christy Lee
He sleeps in the street. Chuckle, chuckle, chuckle.
Tom Griswold
We haven't heard that Chuck Berry bit in a long time. That's a. That's a Probably a good thing. We have a request. Pat.
Christy Lee
Did he do the Chuck Berry thing? I. I don't.
Tom Griswold
Pat, we have a request.
Christy Lee
Hey, look at Pat playing.
Tom Griswold
Let's see, guitar.
Josh Arnold
I haven't played one thing.
Tom Griswold
This comes to us from John.
Chick McGee
He played the Open Grave song.
Tom Griswold
He said, I just joined a new gym.
Pat Godwin
Oh, nice.
Tom Griswold
This is John.
Chick McGee
Always be Fat John.
Tom Griswold
Hey, give up now. This is John writing from England.
Christy Lee
Genetics. John throwing.
Josh Arnold
Throw it at me.
Tom Griswold
So I guess I could say good afternoon to you, John in the uk he says, could you please play the Pat Godwin song, Yoga pants. We can't just play it. Pat's gonna play it live.
Josh Arnold
Oh, I can play it live? Yeah, from the new album. This is the acoustic version. I'm gonna go full version. I'm not gonna do a radio edit, so hunker down.
Christy Lee
What?
Tom Griswold
Buckle up.
Christy Lee
But how long is.
Josh Arnold
17 minutes.
Christy Lee
17 minutes.
Josh Arnold
Here we go. I love a lady in cocktail dress, but it's not my favorite, I confess. You know what makes me think of romance? A pretty woman in yoga pants. I'm behind a gallon. Yoga class. Can't Take my eyes off her shapely ass. I should move.
Christy Lee
No.
Josh Arnold
Namaste. Those yoga pants. You're making my day. I'm out of shape. She is not. I'm soaking wet. She's smoking hot. My yoga pants sagging in the back in a downward dog. You can see my crack. I try to focus while she touches the toes. I can't concentrate on my own pose. I don't have a ghost of a chance of getting in her yoga pants. Yoga pants are tight and bold and they mold every fold. Buy a pair where Axe Activewear is sold. Those pants were made for yoga practice. Worn all day. That do distract us. Your kundalini flow shows off your camel too. When you wear them to the grocery store, they rock me to my core. I wish I was your man. Yoga pants. I'm your biggest. Look at the girl with the long blonde hair and a beautiful derriere. She turns around. Coming. Sneaking a glance. Damn. That's a dude in yoga pants. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Oh, I just love those yoga pants. I really love those yoga pants.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Very nice.
Tom Griswold
Sending it out to the uk.
Christy Lee
Woo.
Tom Griswold
What's that one lyric?
Chick McGee
And good for you, John.
Pat Godwin
What was that one lyric?
Josh Arnold
Which one?
Tom Griswold
Kundalara or something?
Josh Arnold
Kundalini.
Pat Godwin
Kundalini.
Josh Arnold
Part of the yoga flow.
Pat Godwin
Is it really Kundalini? I've never heard of a kundalini. Have you?
Chick McGee
I like fetuccini. Kundalini. Delicious, rich, but good.
Tom Griswold
Kundalini. Sounds.
Chick McGee
I don't know.
Tom Griswold
Sound. Sounds filthy is what it says.
Josh Arnold
No, it's just a yoga pose.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Chick McGee
Does it look filthy? It does. They all do.
Christy Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Every single pose is a tiny turn on.
Tom Griswold
I could just smell her Kundalini from here.
Josh Arnold
She had the tights on for days.
Chick McGee
Please.
Christy Lee
In that tennis match, why didn't that one lady say, hey, you need to douche? That would have really gotten things off instead of just deodorant.
Tom Griswold
I don't know. I will. Now it's time to turn back over to.
Christy Lee
It's hard to stop doing.
Tom Griswold
Lawrence by Lawrence.
Christy Lee
You're right.
Tom Griswold
It's a Myon. A Florian on the accordion.
Christy Lee
Please enjoy. Bobby.
Tom Griswold
And.
Pat Godwin
A one and a two.
Tom Griswold
She's at the Asilac Insurance and News desk.
Pat Godwin
Starbucks imposing new limits on what its baristas can wear under their green aprons.
Tom Griswold
Why?
Pat Godwin
Starting May 12, employees will be required to wear a solid black shirt. Khaki, black or blue denim bottom or nothing at all. Shirts. Shirts can be short or long sleeved, collared or collared. List Starbucks Will give each employee two free T shirts. The company said, quote, by updating our dress code, we can deliver a more consistent coffee house experience. That will also bring simpler, cleaner guidance to our partners, which means they can focus on what matters most. Beverages. Blah, blah, blah.
Christy Lee
Was forced to file chapter 11 due to the T shirt to employees giveaway far misjudged.
Tom Griswold
Why would they care? Care?
Pat Godwin
I don't know.
Chick McGee
Well, most places do with the uniforms.
Pat Godwin
I like that, though. I like.
Josh Arnold
I like the fact they're original. And I do, too.
Christy Lee
People in uniforms, preferably with a name on a breast.
Tom Griswold
Wait a minute. You're right.
Christy Lee
I know.
Tom Griswold
No, but I. I just think this is the first step in. They're going to be completely automated.
Christy Lee
Starbucks.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Get rid of the human element and it'll just be walk in and talk to a machine.
Chick McGee
No kidding.
Pat Godwin
There's something very professional about everybody look. Looking the same when they're in a restaurant.
Chick McGee
Part of a team.
Pat Godwin
Yeah. I went to a place the other day. It was a brand new restaurant, very good food.
Tom Griswold
But couldn't tell who worked there.
Pat Godwin
No, I couldn't. And it was kind of off putting a little bit.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Maybe go with something with no butt on it.
Pat Godwin
No, but like chaps.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, you can tell the works here. They're the ones whose asses.
Christy Lee
And I believe we covered this one.
Pat Godwin
Morning a health issue on the show.
Christy Lee
We. You don't have to say assless chaps anymore because chaps. Chaps by. Are.
Tom Griswold
Are assless by definition, Right? Yeah. Often worn and.
Christy Lee
Have you ever worn assless chaps?
Tom Griswold
I've never worn chaps. I'm not in the rodeo.
Christy Lee
Josh, have you ever worn chaps?
Chick McGee
Yes, yes. I wear them weekends.
Christy Lee
Huh.
Chick McGee
I have. When I grill in the backyard.
Pat Godwin
Really Nice.
Tom Griswold
That's a. Because you don't really. You're not going to get a. A shard of charcoal from the back.
Chick McGee
No, no, no, no.
Tom Griswold
You don't really need to have. You just want to have some fresh air on the backside.
Pat Godwin
Oh, wait a minute. Yeah, it's open in the front, too.
Chick McGee
I have burned my wiener.
Pat Godwin
I know how taps work. They're not just assless, they're.
Chick McGee
They're from the sides, right?
Pat Godwin
Yeah, yeah, they're just on the sides.
Christy Lee
You have.
Tom Griswold
I've never put on a pair of chaps. I didn't realize it.
Christy Lee
Don't you. If you don't have this, don't you need the apron? The. That has the fake dong in it when you. When you raise it up to wipe your brow off.
Tom Griswold
It's like, yeah, I think that I appreciate it.
Chick McGee
I don't want to own.
Tom Griswold
I think that's become. I think that's become somewhat socially inappropriate lately. Hey, kids, look at this. Mr. Johnson.
Christy Lee
People laughing.
Chick McGee
We've come a long way from kiss the Cook.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Christy Lee
Enjoying my faux dog.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Okay. Coming up, we have Dr. Dolphins, we have ants, we have elephants. All in the news. Plus a lot of dating news.
Christy Lee
Any uncles.
Tom Griswold
And we have a walk in beer cooler in the news.
Chick McGee
I always like those at the stores.
Tom Griswold
Well, you're not. Wouldn't want to go in this one. Oh, you'll find out why. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Christy Lee
Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning.
Josh Arnold
Catch any part of the show you.
Tom Griswold
Missed later today on our YouTube channel. Details.
Christy Lee
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show.
Tom Griswold
It's unbelievable.
Christy Lee
At the Silac Insurance news desk, it's Christy Lee.
Pat Godwin
Yep.
Christy Lee
There's Pat Godwin. Hello. Jess Hooker's here. Hi, there's Josh Arnold. Hey, jster, what are you doing over there?
Chick McGee
I'm grabbing a floss pick. I have a fixing your watch in my teeth.
Pat Godwin
Oh, really?
Christy Lee
Oh, from Dave. Dave's Bread or whatever.
Tom Griswold
Go use that one.
Chick McGee
Huh? What do you mean?
Christy Lee
What have you done with that one?
Tom Griswold
Anal fisher pick.
Josh Arnold
For the fisherman.
Christy Lee
My God, we're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios.
Chick McGee
Got it.
Christy Lee
Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts.
Tom Griswold
Oh, you missed it, Ms. Hooker. What happened?
Pat Godwin
No, you didn't.
Tom Griswold
During the previous break, I walk in here and the discussion was if you had to.
Pat Godwin
No, you didn't.
Tom Griswold
If you were in the woods.
Christy Lee
No, no, no, no.
Tom Griswold
And you didn't have.
Christy Lee
No, it doesn't have to be in the woods. You've run out of toilet paper.
Tom Griswold
What kind of bread would you use?
Pat Godwin
Yeah, first of all, I think I'm like, picturing them waddling to the kitchen.
Tom Griswold
Right.
Pat Godwin
To get bread. Because nobody has bread next to their toilet.
Tom Griswold
I was assuming you were in the.
Christy Lee
My favorite part was like, would you use bread to wipe your butt? And Josh says, that sounds kind of nice.
Chick McGee
It does.
Christy Lee
Yes.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Like a, like, like a French loaf and kind of like a sunbeam.
Chick McGee
Like a, like a. I. Well, bread. Oskar said you'd want a hearty wheat. And I said, how about a nice beef steak, rye.
Christy Lee
Oh, okay.
Chick McGee
But then our engineer Drew said, that's two stiff. So, you know, everybody's got their.
Pat Godwin
You don't want the Dave CD one, because then you got a real problem.
Chick McGee
Yeah, yeah.
Tom Griswold
Either way, you're gonna have some crumbs, bizarre dingleberries.
Christy Lee
And I suggested, how about some marble rye? Because that would have brown already.
Tom Griswold
My point was, aren't you lucky you just got here and didn't have to hear this discussion? And I'd like to. Not right now.
Chick McGee
I think I'd go with an O. Charlie's role. Because who doesn't love those?
Christy Lee
Oh, those are wonderful.
Tom Griswold
How about a biscuit? A little bit of traction.
Pat Godwin
They crumble too much.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Christy Lee
You'd be picking crumbs out of your ass.
Tom Griswold
On a much different note, coming up Saturday, April 19th. On Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. That's this Saturday.
Christy Lee
Very good, Tom.
Tom Griswold
Diamond Joe Casino, Northwood, Iowa. It's going to be Willie G. Jeff Osk, Josh Arnold and Patty G. Pat Godwin. Josh Arnold, Jeff, Oscar, Willie Griswold doing a great live comedy show, Diamond Joe Casino. This Saturday. Saturday night. Take it info bobandtom.com Now I'll be.
Chick McGee
Reading from my new book of sonnets.
Tom Griswold
No, go ahead. Favorites. One of them.
Chick McGee
Oh, you know, you got to pay for the apron.
Tom Griswold
Oh, I see. Yeah.
Christy Lee
I'm not going to give them away.
Tom Griswold
Christy Lee is right over there. She's at the SILAC Insurance news desk.
Pat Godwin
A new study out there suggests men fall in love faster than women.
Christy Lee
Really is. That's right.
Pat Godwin
The research involving 888 partnered young adults in the first years of love at a strip club.
Christy Lee
808.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. I love you.
Josh Arnold
I've been there.
Pat Godwin
Compared the sexes on a number of factors, such as when they fell in love, commitment levels, and how much they obsessed about their partner.
Chick McGee
Now, I do believe women fall out of love faster than men.
Pat Godwin
Absolutely true.
Chick McGee
They can flip a switch, man.
Josh Arnold
Boy, there's no coming back.
Chick McGee
No, no.
Christy Lee
It goes from I love you to, yeah, don't do this stuff in the yard. 30 seconds, right?
Pat Godwin
The results showed men fall in love on average about one month earlier than women.
Christy Lee
Whoa.
Pat Godwin
Women tended to experience romantic love slightly more intensely. And women also thought about their loved ones more often than men. Okay, about that, but interesting.
Tom Griswold
So wait a minute. Women fall in love slower, right?
Chick McGee
But stronger, maybe more.
Christy Lee
Yeah, sounds like it. Yeah. By the way, that's how it happened with Christy and I. Oh, this time.
Tom Griswold
You met Andy, Christie's husband.
Chick McGee
Hey, Andy.
Christy Lee
It was like I. I said, hey, would you like to go out to dinner? And next thing I know, we're. We're moving in together.
Chick McGee
Oh, boy.
Christy Lee
I don't know.
Chick McGee
Really.
Christy Lee
I don't know how that happened.
Chick McGee
Ensnared, huh?
Christy Lee
Yeah. Trapped.
Tom Griswold
Oh, she got a notice. You got a bolo tie on. That's an unusual tie.
Christy Lee
That's why she wants it to be so that's the way it is.
Tom Griswold
You ever considered doubling back that thing around your neck the other way and tying it to a beam and jumping?
Christy Lee
You know, I call her CNN. She's on 24 hours a day. Shut up.
Tom Griswold
I hear you're moving. See?
Christy Lee
Did you hear that? Shut up. I'm abused.
Pat Godwin
There's also a new poll that reveals just how far some folks will go down to be to boost their dating profile. Okay, so if you're looking for love, if you haven't fallen in love yet, this survey, over 1 or 3,000 respondents, rather it's from datingnews.com found 15% of male respondents admitted they would join a charitable cause just to impress a potential partner.
Christy Lee
This is, this is a month long topic of the stuff you would do to impress a girl.
Chick McGee
So you're not lying about it. You're actually changing.
Pat Godwin
Changing what you do. Yes, yes.
Christy Lee
Change religions, learn a foreign language.
Josh Arnold
Easier to just lie.
Christy Lee
Oh, my God.
Tom Griswold
So you're, you're making a contribution to charities.
Pat Godwin
Yeah. Let's say we just started dating and I really like animals and I, I volunteer at the zoo. Oh, you know what I have, I am.
Tom Griswold
I volunteer at the sperm bank.
Pat Godwin
No, that's not what I make.
Tom Griswold
Every three days.
Pat Godwin
You would go, oh, I give to such and such charity that rescues dogs or, you know, so it makes you look good to her.
Chick McGee
I see.
Tom Griswold
Now there's a picture of me doing charity work. Oh, wait a minute. That was, that was community service. After the. That was an incident. I was at Goodwill for three weeks sorting smelly clothes.
Pat Godwin
45% said they would even be more likely to swipe right on someone who was clearly volunteering in their profile photo. Photo.
Chick McGee
Volunteering?
Pat Godwin
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Huh. I'm. I work for Labradoodles for Better Highways.
Christy Lee
They're doing great work.
Chick McGee
Yeah, it really is terrific.
Tom Griswold
People that are blind and allergic to trucks.
Christy Lee
Yeah, that's right. There's an allergy that makes them blind. You don't hear a lot about it. It's important.
Chick McGee
You don't hear enough about it.
Christy Lee
That's exactly.
Pat Godwin
And in the world of dating apps, there was catfishing. Now there's something called kitten fishing.
Christy Lee
Oh, I don't like the sound of this at all.
Pat Godwin
This poll shows 50% of dating app users are being kitten Fished. Do you know that? Anybody know what that means?
Josh Arnold
I don't. I do.
Chick McGee
Yeah, they love cats, but they really don't. No, they claim they do.
Christy Lee
I hope it doesn't have anything to do with someone underage.
Pat Godwin
Well, means that they're being presented with old profile photos. Yeah, it makes them look younger.
Tom Griswold
So that's everybody?
Pat Godwin
That's everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tom Griswold
Or filters.
Chick McGee
I wonder if that applies lots of filters.
Josh Arnold
There's lots of filters out there.
Tom Griswold
We used to get this with various comedians.
Pat Godwin
Sure.
Tom Griswold
If you've ever been to the lobby or the green room of a comedy club. Right. You're going to see some of those photos of the. They're daguerreotypes.
Pat Godwin
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Oh, look, here he is with President Lincoln.
Josh Arnold
In our defense, they grab everything off the Internet sometimes with. Without you even sending it to them.
Chick McGee
There aren't. That does happen.
Christy Lee
It does happen.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. Just cuz I look 21 doesn't mean I don't.
Pat Godwin
Pat, you were notorious for this.
Josh Arnold
I am. I'm guilty.
Chick McGee
Pat, have you ever used a filter?
Josh Arnold
No.
Chick McGee
I don't want to know.
Tom Griswold
Just old photos.
Chick McGee
I don't want to know a guy.
Josh Arnold
When I do a photo with you. I do because I have to, but.
Pat Godwin
I. Oh my gosh.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Chick McGee
I mean, she puts it on, it shows up on everybody. Right. I don't want to know a man who uses a social media photo filter.
Tom Griswold
Makes you look young.
Chick McGee
You tell me their name so I can delete them.
Tom Griswold
They should require on these dating photos. It should be like Lee Oswald with the rifle in the newspaper, you know, so you can tell you have like you're standing in front of a gas pump with the. Wait a minute. The gas was a buck 50. This must have been taken in 76.
Josh Arnold
Just happens to be right though. With me though. There is something on what's called fake Bass Tune. It's not necessarily a filter, but there's an enhanced thing that kind of smooths things out. I don't call it a filter. Don't. Lee, I don't like labels, so just is making an excellent point.
Pat Godwin
But in this current age, what would we use? Because nobody has a newspaper laying around.
Tom Griswold
Well, isn't there a new app where you have to upload a picture every day? Like there's.
Chick McGee
We talked about that. Yeah, so I mean, so I assume.
Tom Griswold
Like after day seven, it's no longer your face. Here's the back of my head, here's my ass. If I have to take one more picture before you come across and swipe me, I'm Out.
Chick McGee
I don't get that. I don't get the fake or the old photo thing. Don't. Why do you want to set the person up for disappointment?
Pat Godwin
I don't know. Yeah.
Josh Arnold
No.
Tom Griswold
And they show up and they look at you and ugh, maybe do the opposite.
Josh Arnold
You lure.
Tom Griswold
Take it, put it in a puppet. A terrible photo. You walk in, they go, oh, wow. You have both arms and two eyes.
Josh Arnold
You lure them to the restaurant, then charm them and then say, I love you.
Pat Godwin
Oh, is that how it works? I see you want to meet my son. Is that.
Christy Lee
My son will be here in 10 minutes.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Your new son is what you say.
Pat Godwin
Oh, there you go. Do you mind if he calls you mommy?
Josh Arnold
I don't.
Chick McGee
And may I call you mommy?
Josh Arnold
You may.
Chick McGee
Huh?
Pat Godwin
Yeah.
Christy Lee
Huh?
Chick McGee
You turned your mic off. Dumb. Dumb.
Christy Lee
Yeah, you've been. You've been talking up a storm over there.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Boy, he was going on and on.
Josh Arnold
I had your interesting peanut butter.
Tom Griswold
I was wiping my nose. Thank you.
Christy Lee
Thank you.
Josh Arnold
You just yapping away.
Chick McGee
One day, that's how he'll go. He'll just be sitting on a corner with a microphone on in his hand, not plugged into anything.
Christy Lee
Oh, here comes.
Pat Godwin
You know, wiping your nose doesn't make any noise.
Tom Griswold
It does when you hit this thing like that.
Christy Lee
I.
Pat Godwin
Sorry.
Chick McGee
Don't wipe your nose on the microphone.
Tom Griswold
I was trying not.
Chick McGee
These are basic radio.
Tom Griswold
Okay. Okay.
Pat Godwin
We'll be back with more.
Tom Griswold
We have right now.
Pat Godwin
Beer cave.
Tom Griswold
Another great idea for. For Mother's day from Chick McGee. Something your mom would like some Raycon earbuds.
Christy Lee
Raycon earbuds. And they're new and improved, you're saying? How can that be, Chick? Oh, it be. That's right. They're perfect for mom whether she's over at the gym or taking a phone call. Call Raycon's latest model. Better than ever at 32 hour battery life and multi point connectivity. Lets you pair with two. Two. Two devices at once. Mom will never ask you again for Bluetooth help. Raycon syncs all by itself. And Raycon has a quick charge function. 10 minutes on the old charger, you get 90 minutes of battery. And Raycon's earbuds come with active noise cancellation. Often difficult to find at such an accessible price price point. But not Raycon. They start about half the price of other premium audio brands. Raycons come in all the colors and they offer a 30 day happiness guarantee return policy. Go to buyraycon.com Tom right now and get 20% off site wide. Raycon. 20% off site wide. Just go to buyraycon.com tom. That's buyraycon.com Tom.
Tom Griswold
Thank you very much. Now, who was were you on the dating app Plenty of fish, Christie. Way back.
Pat Godwin
No, no, no. Ace was, Ace was a big plenty of fish guy.
Tom Griswold
And what is that?
Pat Godwin
Is that for plenty of fish?
Tom Griswold
Who's that? Is that designed for people that fish?
Pat Godwin
No, it's, it was a free dating.
Chick McGee
Yeah, the old, you know, plenty of fish in the sea.
Pat Godwin
Right. But that was one of the first ones and it was free. That was the big better ones that were free.
Tom Griswold
Similar to that you were on. Oh, that's right.
Josh Arnold
I was on plenty of po and that's right.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Christy Lee
Or you were on all those.
Tom Griswold
Right.
Christy Lee
And every morning you'd go and look.
Chick McGee
At and I was on plenty of filet o fish.
Tom Griswold
And what I love the filet o fish. Don't go.
Chick McGee
I do too.
Christy Lee
What would you call looking at your dating apps?
Josh Arnold
I'd wake up and I'd check the traps.
Tom Griswold
Now when you were on plenty of fish, I remember you got approached by a woman that turned out to be a prostitute. So it was a pay lake. Pretty good. See the you real music twist everyone's words. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Chick McGee
How about that?
Pat Godwin
I took a turn.
Christy Lee
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. Christy Lee, Jess Hooker, There's Pat Godwin, Josh Arnold.
Chick McGee
Just what flavor of java house you got right now?
Pat Godwin
I actually have salted caramel.
Tom Griswold
I, I just discovered that. I don't know how I missed it my whole life. I love salt. I had so. I had so. Oh, why all these years I didn't know.
Pat Godwin
You know, I add my chocolate protein powder to it and have a holy.
Christy Lee
How about that, you know, drink? Yeah. Tom has been known. I don't know if he still does it or not, but he used to so salt his classic lay's potatoes.
Pat Godwin
Yes, he did.
Christy Lee
Absolutely.
Pat Godwin
That's pretty witnessed it.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Pat Godwin
What?
Tom Griswold
Oh, yeah. It makes it much better.
Chick McGee
Boy, that is salty.
Christy Lee
I will salt bread in a restaurant.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, that's a.
Christy Lee
That's really good.
Chick McGee
Depends on what it is.
Pat Godwin
Absolutely.
Christy Lee
Yeah. You get that, that oil.
Tom Griswold
You know why your restaurant food tastes so good? If you get a nice bowl of soup at a restaurant, you know why it tastes better than one at home? Because it's mostly salt and butter.
Chick McGee
Butter.
Tom Griswold
And I'm a big fan of both. Did you used to put by the way, I'VE had open art surgery. Anybody wonder why?
Pat Godwin
Chick. Chick. You and I grew up very similar. Did you used to put butter and sugar on your rice?
Christy Lee
I did not.
Chick McGee
Oh, that was like a dessert.
Pat Godwin
That was a dessert at our house.
Christy Lee
At our house.
Tom Griswold
Wow.
Pat Godwin
Cinnamon butter and sugar.
Christy Lee
I don't think I had rice until I was an adult.
Pat Godwin
Really?
Christy Lee
I didn't have rice. I didn't have bagels. I don't know what was.
Pat Godwin
I thought that because that sugar rice was a staple.
Chick McGee
Oh, I've never heard of it.
Pat Godwin
It's like a.
Christy Lee
It's like.
Tom Griswold
It's like rice pudding.
Pat Godwin
But I love rice pudding without cooking it. Because mom was lazy.
Tom Griswold
No.
Chick McGee
Or frog eye pudding, as some will call it.
Tom Griswold
Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. With real frog.
Pat Godwin
Yeah.
Christy Lee
Now, earlier we were talking about helping rich people out because they kind of get the short end, right?
Chick McGee
We're starting a charity called Yachts for Rich People.
Christy Lee
But then we thought, hey, let's start this even younger and, you know, pay it forward with the kids. So we came up with Yachts for tots.
Chick McGee
And they don't have to be rich. They can just be kids.
Christy Lee
That's right. As long as they get the yacht fever at an early age.
Tom Griswold
We get the little sailor cap, like the captain's cap, like half war at the end.
Christy Lee
And one of those whistles, of course, whatever they do.
Tom Griswold
Boson's whistles.
Christy Lee
Hey, Bob and Tom. I. I'm Andy and I'm the president of the Manhattan Yacht Club in Manhattan, Kansas.
Chick McGee
Oh, okay.
Christy Lee
I find Josh's attempt at humor rather off putting. Oh.
Chick McGee
Oh, boy.
Christy Lee
We are a refined piece people. I'm Michigan born, Colombian educated.
Tom Griswold
Oh.
Christy Lee
And with summer homes in Deland. How dare you besmirch our prolific yacht club there.
Chick McGee
There was a misunderstanding here. I said. I. I was taking on the role of one of the tots receiving a yacht. And I said, hey, I'm from Manhattan, Kansas.
Christy Lee
Uhhuh.
Chick McGee
I was trying to think of the most landlocked area I could.
Pat Godwin
Pretty landlocked, though.
Chick McGee
But apparently I'm wrong. There's a yacht club there.
Christy Lee
Right?
Tom Griswold
Because I was just saying, nothing sadder than a large yacht in a small pond.
Pat Godwin
Nothing sadder.
Christy Lee
That's exactly what we did.
Tom Griswold
Oh, sure, there are landmines the kids have to walk through, but.
Christy Lee
But really the most poignant sad is.
Chick McGee
Large boat on a small pond.
Tom Griswold
There used to be a very, very small. It's not really even a lake. You know what I'm talking about?
Pat Godwin
I don't know. Go on.
Tom Griswold
There was a Very large vessel on it that quite literally couldn't start up and move.
Pat Godwin
Right.
Tom Griswold
They finally got. They moved it. It was, it was embarrassing.
Pat Godwin
I remember seeing a cigarette boat. You know those real high speed boats on like a lake? Yeah, I know.
Tom Griswold
What are you doing? This wasn't a lake. It was really a pond. Yach. I was like, what, what are they doing?
Christy Lee
How would you get it launched, if you will? How would you get that into the water?
Tom Griswold
A crane. I think it was very. It was really silly. Right, let's. Let's move forward. Here we have Christy Lee at the SILAC insurance news desk. What have we missed?
Pat Godwin
A Pennsylvania woman has been arrested for allegedly defecating in a convenience store beer cooler.
Christy Lee
Oh, you gotta go, you gotta go. Haven't we all? Yep.
Pat Godwin
An employee at Royal Farms location in Hanover, Pennsylvania, they say. Do you know where that is?
Christy Lee
That's where the 10 minutes from where I grew up.
Pat Godwin
Oh, really?
Christy Lee
That's where the pretzels are.
Pat Godwin
The unknown woman had come in the previous day and defecated in the beer Camp Dave store. Security footage showed the suspect pushing a case of alcoholic beverages back on the shelf.
Chick McGee
No, honey, I said take some Schlitz.
Tom Griswold
This dung's for you.
Pat Godwin
Pulling her pants down and defecating on the shelves, then leaving.
Tom Griswold
Keep it from spoiling. What kind of sick.
Pat Godwin
Wait till you hear.
Christy Lee
Don't they have a restroom there?
Pat Godwin
The woman identified as 47 year old Crystal Garbage Goss, is the director of food and nutrition for a local school district.
Tom Griswold
Okay, something.
Pat Godwin
And she was arrested on multiple charges including open lewdness, disorderly conduct and something that created a hazardous and physically offensive condition.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, there's got to be something else.
Pat Godwin
In public. It doesn't say that she was drunk.
Tom Griswold
This must be some kind of revenge thing.
Chick McGee
You don't think it could have just been an emergency? Emergency?
Tom Griswold
No, I would go in my pants first.
Chick McGee
Really?
Pat Godwin
Yes.
Chick McGee
Well, that's disgusting.
Tom Griswold
To clear the shelves. I mean.
Pat Godwin
Yeah, you gotta want in an emergency.
Tom Griswold
I think you would just drop and squat. Yeah, you wouldn't go.
Chick McGee
Well, maybe the shelf was ass height.
Pat Godwin
Oh, that's true.
Christy Lee
Oh, there you go. Yeah.
Chick McGee
What?
Christy Lee
Yeah, that would make sense. I don't want to be.
Tom Griswold
I don't want to be with you during an army emergency. Wait a second.
Chick McGee
Give me something. Ass hide.
Tom Griswold
Go over there. It's. It's ass hide.
Christy Lee
I don't think I could do.
Chick McGee
Come here, son.
Christy Lee
I don't think I could do that anywhere but go in a toilet.
Pat Godwin
I know, I'm with you.
Chick McGee
Oh, emergencies Are emergencies. You guys know that. I. I've.
Christy Lee
In the lake.
Chick McGee
In the lake. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
But if it's a. If it's a convenience store, they're undoubtedly going to have a couple of different restrooms.
Pat Godwin
Of course they. They would.
Christy Lee
Is it possible because you did that in the lake, that that's the only way now that you can have a. Satisfied. You have to get and. Or at least live next to that.
Pat Godwin
Why you fish all the time. Come on. Just pooping.
Tom Griswold
All right.
Christy Lee
And you keep. And you keep falling down.
Josh Arnold
He does fall down a lot.
Tom Griswold
Okay. Oh, I'll follow.
Chick McGee
Man, I'm a clumsy man.
Josh Arnold
Slow fall too.
Chick McGee
Oh, it's. It's excruciatingly slow.
Pat Godwin
A Missouri man who crashed his truck into a common store blames the incident on his crocs.
Tom Griswold
Oh, I believe this.
Chick McGee
Sure.
Josh Arnold
I do too.
Pat Godwin
I do too. Or if you drive with flip flops on. It's the same situation. Security footage showed the 60 year old Dale Hammett hitting the Springfield store and fleeing. He returned twice in the same truck, but didn't admit that he was the driver. Later he told police his crocs got stuck on the pedal causing him to accelerate into the building. He panicked and fled.
Christy Lee
That seems right.
Pat Godwin
He was arrested and charged with leaving the scene of an accident and caused about 3, $700 in damage.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, I. I totally get this. Yeah, your shoes get.
Pat Godwin
Yeah, but would you flee the scene? You would just admit it.
Chick McGee
Oh, right. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
No.
Pat Godwin
Why would you? Well, leave.
Tom Griswold
Maybe he came. What?
Chick McGee
That's a fascinating theory. It was.
Tom Griswold
But his.
Chick McGee
His.
Christy Lee
Oh, he had an organ.
Tom Griswold
It came and went. No, no. You know, it turns me beyond.
Jess Hooker
I don't know.
Chick McGee
There's a movie about that turns me on.
Tom Griswold
Ramming into buildings.
Christy Lee
It's called Crash.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Not the. Not the Oscar winner, the other one.
Christy Lee
Right.
Pat Godwin
What?
Chick McGee
Yeah, it's about people who are sexually turned on by automobile accidents being in.
Tom Griswold
Them and I had no idea. I apologize.
Chick McGee
It's a tough movie.
Tom Griswold
It's not great. Okay.
Christy Lee
What's his face is in it.
Chick McGee
That girl, the weirdo. Elias Coteas.
Tom Griswold
Yes.
Pat Godwin
It's not a porn.
Chick McGee
No.
Pat Godwin
Oh, okay.
Tom Griswold
No. So this guy was charged with a crime.
Pat Godwin
Yes.
Tom Griswold
Because. Only because he fled though.
Pat Godwin
Yes.
Christy Lee
So if he stayed there, it would.
Tom Griswold
Have been all right.
Pat Godwin
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
He might have to pay a fine.
Pat Godwin
Insurance might have to cover it, but.
Tom Griswold
You know, I mean, wearing crocs is a fashion crime, I think.
Chick McGee
Oh, really? They're really popular, man.
Pat Godwin
Very comfortable.
Tom Griswold
I thought in some states it is illegal to drive in flip flops.
Chick McGee
It should be. It's not a safe thing to do.
Christy Lee
I've always heard illegal and bare feet.
Chick McGee
Right?
Pat Godwin
That's what I've heard too. Yeah.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Pat, are you a Crocs guy?
Josh Arnold
I am indeed. I will wear them to take the dog out. Yeah, yeah.
Chick McGee
They're not bad.
Josh Arnold
No, they're plastic. They clean well. My son likes them. All the kids wear the Crocs now.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
They are forced to wear socks with them at school, but they wear them different colors.
Chick McGee
My brother, my older brother and I over the weekend.
Christy Lee
Were you mean different color kids at his school?
Tom Griswold
Yeah. What?
Josh Arnold
Just try to play along.
Chick McGee
Josh, what were you saying about you and your brother? We were talking about how kids dress these days. And I go, I. I never thought we'd be these dudes, man, complaining about what the youth is wearing.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
And boy, Crocs, long socks, shorts, the shortest shorts. Boy, we would have got our asses kicked if we looked right.
Pat Godwin
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Five inch inseam for men's shorts is the style.
Chick McGee
Right? But he goes, My brother goes, but y'all kids are just slobs now.
Tom Griswold
Oh, yeah.
Josh Arnold
It's a totally different thing. There are no jeans anymore or regular shirts, sweatpants, shorts, comfort.
Chick McGee
But I go, let's just stop being these guys. Let's just accept whatever's going on. Yeah. He's like, yeah, yeah, we need to do that.
Josh Arnold
Your damn hair is getting longer.
Chick McGee
Right?
Tom Griswold
Hey, short shorts, get off my lawn.
Christy Lee
I've never cared about what the kids and the clothes except the ones that the pants are, you know, falling off of. I've never gotten that.
Chick McGee
Oh, yeah, sure it is.
Christy Lee
I think so.
Tom Griswold
Having your pants fall off is still a thing.
Christy Lee
It's just not a comfortable, low riding or whatever they call it. I don't know what it, what it is, but yeah.
Tom Griswold
A Utah woman say probable cause.
Chick McGee
Yes, you would.
Pat Godwin
Yeah, you would.
Christy Lee
Yeah, you would.
Tom Griswold
That's.
Christy Lee
That's true.
Pat Godwin
A Utah woman accused of leading police on a high speed pursuit allegedly called AAA after officers spiked her tire.
Tom Griswold
Well, you know, be a good ad for them.
Christy Lee
Hey, you've been chased by.
Josh Arnold
How am I going to fix.
Pat Godwin
According to an affidavit, Utah highway patrol officer spotted the woman going 120mph on i70. Tried to pull her over, but she refused.
Chick McGee
I had a buddy who did that, but he called double A.
Pat Godwin
Following a chase, troopers managed to take out the car's left tire with spikes. The woman would not get out of her car. And about 40 minutes into the stage standoff, the driver called AAA to get her tire.
Chick McGee
Hey Spike. Yeah, Spike.
Pat Godwin
The company transferred the call to the police who transferred it to the troopers who were at the scene. At which point the woman was talked into exiting her vehicle. The 45 year old was then booked into the county jail.
Tom Griswold
120.
Pat Godwin
Yeah.
Chick McGee
That's fast.
Christy Lee
Pretty fast.
Tom Griswold
Wow. While she was. Then she was sitting in the car you said for.
Pat Godwin
Yeah, she was sitting there surrounded by police and calls AAA thinking they're gonna come fix her tire and she could drive.
Tom Griswold
I can't get out of the car, officer. I've got do on the way.
Chick McGee
Yeah, please, please.
Christy Lee
I thought I'd have a little snack.
Tom Griswold
That is amazing.
Pat Godwin
Stay out there. I'm going to eat now.
Tom Griswold
Will AAA pay your bail?
Pat Godwin
No, I don't think so. I don't think so.
Chick McGee
No matter how hard you beg.
Pat Godwin
And a Minnesota woman.
Christy Lee
Do you drive fast? Like a lot?
Tom Griswold
Not really.
Christy Lee
Like when we went on the road trip to Ohio there a couple days I. I was up to 90 constantly on the highway and I don't know why but I just would end up at 90 miles an hour.
Pat Godwin
Did you just look down thinking you were going 70 and all of a.
Christy Lee
Sudden you're like are you a swerver?
Chick McGee
Will you go in and out of cars?
Christy Lee
Oh yeah, I'm a swerver. And I blow the horn and then I have a flare gun. It's a party.
Pat Godwin
He's not safe to ride with.
Tom Griswold
Your car has that. You can click that gizmo little cruise control thing. It'll touch up.
Christy Lee
I know. Yeah, that's what I. I have felt safe with you.
Chick McGee
I. I've never felt unsafe with you. A car. Am I wrong?
Tom Griswold
You're.
Christy Lee
You're very wrong.
Tom Griswold
Very, very wrong.
Josh Arnold
I wouldn't have guessed that that's the.
Christy Lee
Way it's going to go.
Tom Griswold
You're a scoff law. I had no idea. Okay, 120 and a 55 is pretty serious.
Chick McGee
That's ridiculous.
Tom Griswold
I wonder what was she fleeing from?
Christy Lee
But you know what? You driving, you get used to the speed. I'm telling you, you do, you really do.
Tom Griswold
But if the police are chasing you and you don't stop. Yeah, you're, you know, they're.
Chick McGee
Yeah, but if you stop you get a ticket.
Tom Griswold
But think about it. What a dumbass I am.
Christy Lee
And now in the wrong here, me driving along or the cops trying to stop me.
Chick McGee
Come on.
Christy Lee
Yeah, right.
Tom Griswold
After all, if they get out the spikes, you're doing something wrong. You're in trouble. Yikes.
Chick McGee
That's got to be scary to run over Those spikes.
Josh Arnold
No kidding. With a spike coffee in your hand.
Chick McGee
That'S got to be really scary.
Pat Godwin
Blow out a tired 120 and see what happens.
Tom Griswold
Exactly.
Chick McGee
That's. It's got to be horrifying.
Tom Griswold
Well, congratulations, ma'am. Spend some, get some.
Christy Lee
That's right. She pays her taxes, right?
Tom Griswold
Three squares and forest. We have a lot to get to, Christy, but first, I want to remind you the official coffee of the Bob and Tom show. It's more than that. It's the official refreshment of the Bob and Tom Show. Make it refreshments. I'm talking about Java House. We've got the Java House peel and pour pods. I've got one right here. Like I said, it's about the size of a Keurig cup. But this doesn't have to go on a machine.
Christy Lee
What flavors are sitting around?
Tom Griswold
This is the Colombian medium roast. I am drinking tea right now. They have coffee. They have tea. They have hot chocolate. That's Josh's favorite. They have hydration, drinks, energy. This is revolutionizing the office coffee experience. You don't have to have a bunch of machines. You just take one of these babies, take whichever one you like, put it, put it in a cup or a glass, add hot or cold water, and voila.
Chick McGee
And mixing and matching really is something they encourage and absolutely, really delicious to do that.
Tom Griswold
Now it's Java hot House, and they've got something special going on right now with their peel and pour cups. What I'm talking about is getting a huge discount. 25% off your order if you use the promo code Bob and Tom. Write it out, one big, long word. B O, B a n D, T o, M. The promo code is Bob and Tom. 25% off your order. This is great for the house. It's great for work. It's going to revolutionize the coffee room. No waiting around for everybody. Are you done with the curator? Get. Where's the decaf? Okay, Just peel and pour. It's that simple.
Christy Lee
Sound like a nightmare. That's why you need Java House.
Tom Griswold
Well, around here, you walk into the coffee room and chicks are going, what.
Chick McGee
Kind of bread would you use to wipe your butt?
Tom Griswold
I think I'll go to another place.
Christy Lee
I'm a conversation starter, baby. I'm interested.
Tom Griswold
Maybe you don't want to be conversing in the green room. You just want to grab some coffee and go be in your head by yourself, maybe. So Java House revolutionizing coffee, tea, et cetera, et cetera. Including those hydration drinks. Get the details. Javahouse, dot com. That's J A V A Java house dot com. Tell them the Bob and Tom show sent you. Coming up, we have, we have. Excuse me. Coming up, we have smuggling in the news. Two different types of critters. One pretty big and one pretty teeny. We'll see what I'm talking about. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Christy Lee
Just got to get a hold of us. Call fax, mail or email. Get all the contact information you need@bobandtom.com. this is the Bob and Tom Show.
Tom Griswold
Big money.
Christy Lee
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Thank O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts.
Chick McGee
Did you guys get the email?
Pat Godwin
What email?
Chick McGee
What about there's a new. Tom's insisting on a new nickname. We're not supposed to call him Tom anymore.
Christy Lee
Oh, I did not see this.
Chick McGee
We have to refer to him as Big Money. Yeah.
Christy Lee
All right, that's interesting.
Chick McGee
What's coming up next? Big Money.
Tom Griswold
You mean big money text, sir.
Christy Lee
No, that's too much.
Pat Godwin
What about Mr. Big Money?
Christy Lee
No, here come big.
Chick McGee
You guys didn't see the email? It's just Big Money.
Pat Godwin
Okay.
Christy Lee
And it specifically, it said this and only buy this Big money.
Chick McGee
Right. He won't answer to anything else.
Christy Lee
Right.
Tom Griswold
Now we return to. Have you introduced everybody? I wasn't paying attention. We have Ms. Jess Hooker right there. Hi. We have Pat Godwin over there. Hello. It is the Stephen Singer sidekick chair being sat in by as we speak, Josh Arnold.
Chick McGee
Hi, Big Money.
Tom Griswold
Christy Lee is right over there at the Silac Insurance news desk. And we are collectively in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios.
Pat Godwin
Footage captured at a California safari park shows a group of elephants protecting their calves during last week's earthquake. This was amazing. The video shot at the San Diego Zoo Safari park shows the five African elephants standing around in the morning sun. Ah, Basking. Before the camera shakes and the animals run in different directions, the older elephants, Nudela Umgani, Kohisi, then surround the two seven year old cats.
Tom Griswold
What are their names?
Pat Godwin
Nudella Umgani and Kosi Cosi.
Tom Griswold
Who named these things Angelina Jolie?
Christy Lee
Oh, no, they're African Elephant indicative.
Chick McGee
No, that joke stands.
Tom Griswold
I mean, there are kids named Ziffo, Cliver and Cliver Zep where actually, actually.
Christy Lee
The elephants were rushing to sacrifice the baby to the earthquake.
Tom Griswold
Have you seen this video? It's really Cool.
Pat Godwin
They surround the two seven year old calves, Zuli and Micaiah, creating what is known as an alert circle.
Chick McGee
Don't need the video. I have an imagination. Imagination.
Pat Godwin
Oh my God. What is wrong with you today?
Chick McGee
Nothing.
Pat Godwin
The elephants briefly huddled again during the aftershock. An hour later.
Tom Griswold
You'd like it, Josh, because they're ass.
Pat Godwin
To ass, but dispersed once they determined.
Tom Griswold
Everyone was, you know, me.
Josh Arnold
Just a random insult.
Tom Griswold
Oh, I'm sorry. It's face to ass. I'm sorry.
Chick McGee
Yeah, yeah. Otherwise, what are we doing?
Tom Griswold
Swapping turds?
Josh Arnold
Just playing leap frog.
Chick McGee
Otherwise.
Tom Griswold
So if this were. If this were humans instead of surrounding to protect their young, they would flee in their own to get out of the house before it falls down.
Pat Godwin
Millions.
Chick McGee
By the way, that video, exactly how I pictured.
Christy Lee
Yeah, he's gonna come over here during the commercial and he's gonna give you.
Chick McGee
I'm trying to make him laugh.
Pat Godwin
Millions are tuning in to watch Sweden's 24 hour live stream of a moose migration.
Chick McGee
No, they're not.
Christy Lee
Have you seen the moose?
Pat Godwin
Mine grabs some other word. You say this word.
Christy Lee
I'm your host. Baba ganoush.
Josh Arnold
Oh yeah. It doesn't have any vowels. Alva grand again.
Christy Lee
There you go.
Tom Griswold
This is, this is on the tv.
Pat Godwin
It's the great moose migration and it shows moose crossing the Agaman river to reach summer grazing areas. Launched in 2019 with nearly a million viewers, the show hit 9 million in 2024. The show fans say the calm pace, Josh, is part of the appeal. Reflecting the rise of slow tv.
Chick McGee
I bet it is kind of nice, actually.
Pat Godwin
So it's Trend began in 2009.
Tom Griswold
One of those cameras on, just sitting, sitting there.
Christy Lee
He's. He's explaining to us like a trail cam how it, how it's happening. So wait, what. I mean, there's a camera there?
Pat Godwin
Slow tv?
Tom Griswold
No, but it's, it's.
Chick McGee
It's live and streaming. It's not a documentary. Right, Right.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. So it's just a static, I assume. Just one camera. Just.
Pat Godwin
Yeah, maybe a couple of people never sit and watch something like that.
Tom Griswold
No.
Christy Lee
You can't even watch a movie.
Tom Griswold
It is, it'd be. Sometimes I'll put. There's a certain camera in a certain city. I'll. I'll have it just sitting there.
Christy Lee
And can I guess?
Pat Godwin
No, I. I'll guess.
Christy Lee
No.
Pat Godwin
Harbor Springs.
Josh Arnold
Harbor Springs.
Tom Griswold
Maybe it's just fun to say, oh, hey, look what's going on at the harbor.
Josh Arnold
Oh my gosh.
Christy Lee
I think that's, that's Kelly just let you go Sometime. That's great.
Josh Arnold
They're going to the Bahamas.
Christy Lee
You can go to bar and I could see that. It really does bring you some comfort. And.
Tom Griswold
And right now, when I'm being attacked, I look at this camera and I think it's nice. But this is just. You get to see. Oh, look. Hey, look at the camera. The moose are moving right now. That's fun.
Pat Godwin
Okay.
Tom Griswold
It's like the eagle camera, right?
Pat Godwin
Oh, yeah, the two babies.
Christy Lee
That's all. That's kind of all it is.
Chick McGee
Oh, wow.
Pat Godwin
Oh, that's kind of nice, though. Don't drop that.
Tom Griswold
Really a lot of mooses. That's cool.
Pat Godwin
Relaxing, bigger than crap. Sometimes on YouTube TV, they'll have that. Yeah, Zen TV.
Tom Griswold
And it was. It was last month, right? It was Moose Madness.
Chick McGee
Oh, my God. That's. That is a comedy.
Christy Lee
That's just.
Josh Arnold
The a.m. is there. You got the a.m. you got nothing.
Tom Griswold
Else here in America. We've got.
Christy Lee
Let me tell you something. That's the funniest thing he's ever.
Tom Griswold
We've got. We've got four channels that were playing March Madness. Just got the one with Moose Madness.
Christy Lee
Moose Madness, baby.
Tom Griswold
Oh, thank you. I appreciate that.
Christy Lee
Beautiful, Beautiful.
Chick McGee
Complete lack of humor.
Tom Griswold
No need to repeat. It's Josh. I'll give it.
Christy Lee
Josh. I. I tell you. Didn't really hear it. It's Moose Madness.
Tom Griswold
I'll give it a literary. A literary spin. How about this? Hey, are you going to Pamplona? No, no, no, no. I'm going to Arvarakovujaville in Sweden for the running of the Moose. You put. See, it's a. It's a Sun Also Rises reference. With your faux literary. With your faux literary posturing. You would appreciate that. I'm sure you read the clip notes.
Josh Arnold
He hasn't read a book in a while.
Chick McGee
That's one of my new favorite terms, faux literary posturing.
Christy Lee
Wow.
Tom Griswold
Have you. I. I want to tune into this.
Pat Godwin
What? The last Zen one I watched on YouTube TV was the sea otters. Oh, who doesn't love the sea otters? They're wonderful.
Chick McGee
What else is in the news?
Tom Griswold
Well, we see otters. Hey, shut up, Josh. We've got a story about the paint drying channel.
Pat Godwin
Yes. We have two Belgian teens arrested in Kenya for allegedly trying to smuggle ants out of the country. The ants had been packed into test tubes. The two 19 year olds apprehended with 5,000 ants at a guest house. What are they doing?
Christy Lee
And I'm guessing if they have test tubes, they're shoving them up their butt.
Pat Godwin
You've worked here too long.
Christy Lee
Yeah, I think so.
Pat Godwin
The Kenya Wildlife Service said the species. Including. Including rather Mesoa cephaletus, a distinctive large and red colored harvester ant native to East Africa.
Christy Lee
Those are your workers?
Tom Griswold
These things are worth a fortune.
Pat Godwin
And that's why the teens told the magistrate they were collecting the ants worth thousands of dollars for fun. And did not know that it was illegal.
Chick McGee
I don't think I'd know. Well, maybe.
Christy Lee
Isn't it possible that there's a turn on for some guys, that they like to have bugs in their urethra and. And on the head? Yeah, that's a true thing.
Tom Griswold
Yes, but it's what. When I first started feeling. I figured they'd have like, you know, 50 ants per test tube.
Chick McGee
They're able to get way more in there.
Tom Griswold
No, many fewer. Oh, less.
Chick McGee
Because they're that big, like five or six.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, they're big. There's a thing. There's a photograph here of the. Of the ants they had. Here we go. 2,244 test tubes.
Chick McGee
Does it say why they're worth so much, Tom?
Tom Griswold
They're some very peculiar species that I guess people collect them or something and.
Chick McGee
Interesting.
Tom Griswold
Have some kind of bizarre ant farm. They're filled with gold, apparently. It looks like they're two per test tube.
Pat Godwin
That's not an ant farm. That's an ant estate.
Tom Griswold
They were gonna, I guess, sell them overseas. Going back home. I. I had a similar thing in my family. Family.
Chick McGee
Oh, you did?
Tom Griswold
Yeah. My Uncle Clarence smuggled Auntie Gerk onto a plane. It was just her ashes, but sure, sure. We put those in my garage and kept the key in them for years. Andy. GK we hardly knew you. I'll never forget the. The box said cremains.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Pat Godwin
Says.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
What is. What's that? When you take two words and make them one? What's that called?
Chick McGee
Smashy mash.
Tom Griswold
A smashy mash. Okay.
Christy Lee
That's right. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. We used to mix them with pancakes every other Sunday.
Chick McGee
Her favorite. That's the zany Gert's resin.
Christy Lee
What about mashed potato pancakes? Those are good. Put an egg in there, mix them up.
Tom Griswold
The waffles. That is good. No, thank you.
Pat Godwin
It's a great way to use leftover mashed potatoes. You don't make mashed potato. Bacon works.
Christy Lee
You will.
Chick McGee
You would love it. Who has leftover mashed potatoes?
Josh Arnold
You have leftover our bread.
Chick McGee
That's right.
Tom Griswold
I'm so sorry, Josh. I wasn't. I wasn't going to read this letter, but now I have to. All right. We were talking. I. God knows how you got on the topic of if you had to use bread in place of toilet paper. I'm sure every. Every show in America is talking about this this morning.
Christy Lee
Who the hell would come up with.
Tom Griswold
A topic on the Today show?
Josh Arnold
Only this dumper nickel.
Tom Griswold
Oh, nice. This comes to us from Brian, kind enough to write the Bob and Tom Show. He says, hey, Josh was talking about how he thought bread would be a great idea for wiping.
Chick McGee
It does seem comfortable.
Tom Griswold
Josh did not include breadsticks. We all know he only uses breadsticks for pegging.
Chick McGee
Yes, I did sing about it.
Tom Griswold
Please play the song in his. When we return, we'll feed feature that fine bit of music.
Chick McGee
Yes, one person wrote in Tortilla and that's. That might be the way to go.
Pat Godwin
That's probably the winner.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Spread that with Nutella.
Christy Lee
Absolutely.
Tom Griswold
Anyway, it's like the show isn't cake.
Josh Arnold
Is this Nutella?
Christy Lee
Go ahead.
Tom Griswold
We blindfold you.
Josh Arnold
That could be, but.
Christy Lee
Oh, my God.
Tom Griswold
I think we've reached a new low. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Josh Arnold
This is the Bob and Tom show.
Tom Griswold
Text us at 888-262-866. One more. Bob and Tom next. Hey, hang out with us.
Christy Lee
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk.
Pat Godwin
Yep.
Christy Lee
There's Pat Godwin.
Pat Godwin
Hello.
Christy Lee
Jessica Alsman.
Tom Griswold
Hi.
Christy Lee
There's Josh Arnold.
Chick McGee
Hello there.
Christy Lee
He's at the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. I'm Chick McGee. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios.
Pat Godwin
Just. You're giving good hair today. I like it.
Tom Griswold
Hello, Tom, what's going on? Sorry, I'm busy over here.
Christy Lee
I know you are.
Tom Griswold
I know.
Christy Lee
Okay, we're on the air. All right.
Tom Griswold
Thank you very much. Glad to be back. We are in the O'Reilly auto parts too Studios. Hope you covered that. We're checking with Chris Lee in just a second.
Christy Lee
So not only are you not paying attention, you're not listening. You don't hear anything we say.
Tom Griswold
I was busy over here doing something technical.
Christy Lee
Yes, but you know, that's. That's. You can do it. You should pay attention.
Pat Godwin
Why do they let you do technical.
Tom Griswold
I know. I've told them forever. This is a terrible idea. I can't do anything now. We had a special unusual request.
Christy Lee
I'm sorry. Not paying attention.
Tom Griswold
Once again, was it your idea that. I know this is our topic. I guess they're talking about this on all over the country this morning. If you didn't have toilet paper but you had your choice of bread, what would you wipe yourself with?
Chick McGee
Right.
Christy Lee
It happened right here in the room, actually.
Tom Griswold
And.
Christy Lee
And Josh is right. He had. It does sound comfortable to wipe your bottom with a piece of bread.
Pat Godwin
Tortilla, I think was the.
Tom Griswold
But tortilla. See, to me, that's a different. Different category.
Chick McGee
You think so?
Christy Lee
Tortilla, I think like a pita. A slice of bread would be cushiony and. And pleasant.
Chick McGee
It could tear. Yeah, well, I mean, even though could a tortilla. Slightly cold butter will tear bread.
Christy Lee
Well, you don't. You don't spread the bread. You spread the butter.
Tom Griswold
No, you're spreading your cheeks. The problem is going to be.
Christy Lee
I should have known.
Tom Griswold
So, again, this is not a problem that many have encountered in the course of a rich life.
Chick McGee
Here's a cute joke, okay? You don't wipe your butt with bread. You use buns. Buns. No, I said it was cute. I didn't say.
Tom Griswold
No, no, it doesn't. Doesn't work.
Chick McGee
Not cute at all.
Tom Griswold
You're wiping your buns with buns.
Pat Godwin
With buns.
Christy Lee
Have you done that?
Tom Griswold
That's the joke.
Chick McGee
It's a. It's an ass thing.
Tom Griswold
Well, if there's one thing you're an authority on, I think we can be authoritative. Go.
Christy Lee
Where is that coming?
Tom Griswold
So the point is, where's the humor? The point is that that might be the question. The point is we have a nice letter from Brian who said, I. I know I or a Y is important.
Chick McGee
Okay?
Christy Lee
We don't pay any attention to him. If it's a Y.
Tom Griswold
You had several ideas, including rolls, but you didn't include breadsticks. We all know that Josh uses breadsticks for pegging. Can you please put. Okay, this is kind of a. An original tune from Josh, and I just love this very much. It's. It's short but wonderful.
Chick McGee
So, so fat. I'm so, so fat. I am the fattest. I am fat. Nobody's fatter than me. Nobody's fatter than me. All I do, I eat and jerk.
Tom Griswold
It and jerk it and eat.
Chick McGee
Take them panties off and put the salami on. Pack me with the bread stick.
Josh Arnold
You forget how funny that is.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Peck me with the bread sticks line. That often gets. Often gets lost.
Josh Arnold
Those have to be kind of.
Tom Griswold
They have to be crisp and firm.
Pat Godwin
Or they have to be stale. One of the.
Chick McGee
Of course.
Christy Lee
Thank you very much.
Josh Arnold
The day the judge crack.
Pat Godwin
Is there nothing worse than getting a stale bread stick?
Josh Arnold
Oh, there's nothing worse.
Chick McGee
Oh boy.
Christy Lee
No, no.
Chick McGee
Having your house burning down.
Tom Griswold
No. Having a.
Pat Godwin
Once again having a theme.
Tom Griswold
I think we. We've just had. The worst thing in the world is having a large yacht on a very small pond.
Christy Lee
It's not 9 11, I can tell you that.
Josh Arnold
Or when the movers are late.
Chick McGee
Oh, nothing worse. Can you imagine?
Christy Lee
You know what? Having to miss buying caviar.
Chick McGee
Is there anything worse?
Tom Griswold
Sours before five white underwear after Labor Day.
Christy Lee
Goodness.
Tom Griswold
So sorry. Let's see, where were we? Oh, I know we were going that direction to talk to Christy Lee. She's at the Silac Insurance news desk.
Christy Lee
This will help.
Tom Griswold
What else you got?
Pat Godwin
Spanish police have arrested two people linked to an exotic cat smuggling ray in Mallorca. The suspects are alleged to have offered for sale white tiger tigers, clouded leopards, for which they were asking $68,000. Eurasian lynxes, hyenas, black leopards and pumas were all amongst the animals involved.
Tom Griswold
The guy's name ironically, Jose Exotic.
Pat Godwin
Mallorca.
Tom Griswold
Wow.
Christy Lee
That's a. That's a Tiger King.
Tom Griswold
You don't deal a lot of tiger King stuff. Kind of no longer a. I like it.
Pat Godwin
Google has announced its AI technology is now being used to decode the language of dolphins. The company said it's collaborating with researchers at Georgia Tech and the Wild Dolphin Project on the program called Dolphin Gamma. The Dolphin Gamma is an AI model trained to learn the structure of dolphin vocalizations and identify patterns in order to generate dolphin like sound sequences.
Chick McGee
And they found out that dolphins are just talking about White Lotus Boy, everybody.
Christy Lee
Water cooler. Really, really something. Yeah.
Pat Godwin
Eventually, synthetic sounds created by the researchers could refer to objects with which the dolphins like to play, which may establish a shared vocabulary with dolphins for interactive communities.
Chick McGee
They know for sure they have a language, right?
Christy Lee
Pretty.
Tom Griswold
I bet. I bet they probably have hundreds of ways to say fish. Remember that? Think there's a hundred ways in the native language to say snow here in Alaska?
Chick McGee
What's wrong with that?
Tom Griswold
Nothing. I don't. I'll settle for the one simple. I'm okay with it.
Pat Godwin
You've heard of cat cafes, possibly rabbit cafes. But in Florida, this cafe is allowing patrons to cuddle with giant robots. Rodents. The Capybara Cafe in St. Augustine offers visitors the opportunity to cuddle, feed and otherwise play with its capybaras.
Chick McGee
They're kind of cute.
Pat Godwin
A semi aquatic South American relative of the guinea pig that can grow to more than 4ft long and weigh over 100 pounds. Since the cafe opened in October, hundreds of animal lovers. Hundreds, huh? Have Visited the location several months in. In advance. It costs. What would you pay to hug a capybara?
Chick McGee
20 bucks.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Pat Godwin
49 for a half hour encounter.
Tom Griswold
But that's with a happy ending.
Christy Lee
Hang on a second. That was my next. Can I do anything I want to.
Pat Godwin
The cappy bar and 99 for an hour long encounter that involves the other animals. I don't know what the other animals are, but.
Tom Griswold
These. These look like giant guinea pig figures. Is that right?
Pat Godwin
Yes, they do.
Tom Griswold
And this is the one I remember. The only reason I remember this is. Were we talking about this? It's legal to eat during Lent?
Chick McGee
Yes.
Tom Griswold
Because. Why? Was it because they swim or something?
Pat Godwin
Swim? They're semi aquatic.
Tom Griswold
And then we found out that the lent restrictions aren't done on an international basis. It's. It's just by parish. Is that correct?
Josh Arnold
Yes.
Pat Godwin
Yes.
Josh Arnold
You'll go to hell.
Chick McGee
It was boring when we covered it. Then. Boring is recovering.
Pat Godwin
It's Holy Week.
Tom Griswold
I think it's fascinating that Holy. That. That. You know, Christie's. What is it? Bishop who makes the call on this?
Chick McGee
Oh, Bishop to queen the archdiocese.
Josh Arnold
Thou shall not move on Holy Week.
Tom Griswold
You know that the. You're in the Archie D. The host is made of sugar. Sugar.
Chick McGee
That is really something.
Christy Lee
There's no way you can feel good about that. Really. So I just think it's.
Tom Griswold
I think it's interesting that you're going to heaven or hell is based on what each individual parish guy decides to do. So you go based on that simplifying.
Christy Lee
Individual parish guy.
Tom Griswold
Our bishop has declared roast beef is not. Not meat because it rained. And the guy just find it somewhat arbitrary. Yeah. It's okay. You're okay. You're fine. I'm fine right now. I want to remind you, our buddy Stephen Singer has something for you. You know what it is, Christy?
Pat Godwin
What is it? It's a gift for Mother's Day. I bet.
Tom Griswold
What is it?
Pat Godwin
It's a beautiful rose. The over the blue moon. That's right. The blue moon rose.
Christy Lee
When are you gonna start being prepared?
Tom Griswold
I know exactly what I'm doing. You go to I hate stevensinger.com. it's the limited edition 24 karat gold dip blue moon rose for Mother's Day.
Pat Godwin
We kind of said all that.
Tom Griswold
I just like to go off script when I'm confused because I don't have.
Pat Godwin
The script over there.
Tom Griswold
I'll talk to you. Alzy. Yes. Now you're not a mother yet.
Pat Godwin
I'm not.
Tom Griswold
Okay. But let's just say you were for the sake of Making me look better. Perfect. And then your boyfriend were to give you a nice Mother's Day gift.
Pat Godwin
I would love that.
Tom Griswold
Okay. Now in this case, it's the. It's the limited edition 24 karat gold dip blue moon rose from Stephen Singer jewelers. Now, my suggestion is he also get the at last bracelet. Diamond, beautiful bracelet, great value. And has it hanging from the rose.
Pat Godwin
Oh, that would be perfect.
Tom Griswold
See that grain? That's great. Now, I mentioned this the other day, but it came off sounding like I was giving my elderly mother this because I said it guarantees you a weekend of weekend of hot love.
Christy Lee
Yeah. It sounded like you were making out with your mom. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Which is really depressing and awful. But I'm just saying this is a great gift. This is for the mother who is also your.
Pat Godwin
Your boo thing.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, your. The. I like that term, the boo thing. Okay. Now if it's just another other mother, like maybe it's your sister, then you. You can still give her the bracelet. Just don't count on a very confusing big hot week weekend website.
Pat Godwin
I hate Stephen Singer. And buy your mom a gift.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Pat Godwin
Bingo.
Chick McGee
Well.
Christy Lee
That'S. That's another way to put it.
Tom Griswold
Brevity is the key here. Yeah, It's. I hate stevensinger.com. shipping is free. It comes with a great beautiful card, heavy card stock, and it's in a very nice box. So check it out. It's a great Mother's Day gift. I know we have people that collect them. And it will last forever. It's guaranteed. Don't forget about diamonds. Stephen, is your diamond guy. Real earthborne diamonds. He's the best source of that. And you know what woman wouldn't like some lovely mom. Some lovely earrings. Diamond earrings for mothers.
Christy Lee
There we go.
Tom Griswold
There we go. I hate stephensinger.com. do not tell them how off kilter this particular presentation was today. We'll try to get it better by tomorrow. It's I hate stephensinger.com. say hi to his dog, buddy. When we come back, it's sexy time with Ali Breen. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Christy Lee
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Josh Arnold, the I Hate Stephen Singer Sidekick Channel.
Chick McGee
Hi, Chick.
Christy Lee
There's Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk.
Pat Godwin
Howdy, Buddy.
Christy Lee
There's Pat Godwin.
Josh Arnold
Hey, Chick.
Christy Lee
Jessica Alsman joins us.
Tom Griswold
Hi, Chick.
Christy Lee
I am Chick magee in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Hello, Tom. Is it time for love?
Tom Griswold
I think so.
Christy Lee
Time for love.
Tom Griswold
Let's hook up with comedian Ally Breen. Oh. With her new Glasses on.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
And wait a minute. Allie is not at her home. Are you. Are you in some exhaustion, about to.
Christy Lee
Get a yearbook photo or working at social services somewhere?
Jess Hooker
I think I know. It looks like an interrogation room. Like I'm about to be sent to El Salvador or something. No, I'm in Ocala. I have to paint this wall. I'm doing the Airbnb thing.
Tom Griswold
Oh, cool.
Chick McGee
Very cool.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, we should explain to people you like to rent Airbnbs and then paint them so when the owner comes in. What the hell am I?
Jess Hooker
That would be great.
Tom Griswold
I like to rent a car, take it to Urban Earl shy, bring it back. No, it's not red, it's white. This forum is wrong. We've been having an unusual discussion today. Ali. I forget who brought this up, but.
Chick McGee
You want to bring her into this?
Tom Griswold
If you are a barely crass, yes, it's extraordinarily unpleasant. Let's just say the Airbnb you're in. Here's the scenario. This is perfectly valid. You're in an Airbnb, you get there and nature calls and there's no toilet paper. All you have is a loaf of bread. What kind of bread would you like it to be, by the way? When I was a kid, this happened to me and I insisted that my mother cut the crust off. And then I preferred it in triangles. Not half, but. Your thoughts? What, rye?
Jess Hooker
I mean, white Wonder bread, for sure.
Tom Griswold
Really?
Jess Hooker
That is the soft stuff.
Tom Griswold
It is the soft stuff.
Pat Godwin
The ladies get to use it front, so it would be a different thing. Wouldn't have to use it back. Both.
Chick McGee
I see what you're saying.
Christy Lee
It seems to me like you have no choice but to get a yeast infection.
Josh Arnold
You said this wasn't going to be funny.
Christy Lee
Hello.
Tom Griswold
Okay, so sorry.
Jess Hooker
Have bread, but no toilet paper.
Pat Godwin
Thank you, Ally.
Jess Hooker
Seems like.
Chick McGee
Don't question it, just answer.
Christy Lee
Josh.
Josh Arnold
Hordes bread.
Pat Godwin
You have to waddle all the way to the kitchen.
Jess Hooker
Exactly at that point.
Pat Godwin
No, no, you leave a paper towel.
Tom Griswold
No, no, you leave the. Leave the loaf of bread.
Chick McGee
How much would you sell me the.
Tom Griswold
Poop bread for in a basket?
Christy Lee
Someone.
Jess Hooker
Someone's into that. That's 100%.
Christy Lee
Or the. Or the. I don't even want to say it. Urine bread.
Tom Griswold
I think there's someone listening that does this and they. Oh, my God. They finally. I found my soul mate.
Chick McGee
Al's going to sell an S Sandwich.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, exactly.
Tom Griswold
This could be an only fans thing.
Jess Hooker
There was a documentary on a guy. I think he was the guy who started, like, Norton Antivirus. He like fled the country. It was crazy. But that was something he was into. That was like the last part where you were already shocked with everything he did. And then all of a sudden all these girls were like. And then he would make me sit on a swing and he would get under me and I would have to.
Josh Arnold
Go, oh, that's the guy who went to Belize. I know. That's the documentary.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
It was horrifying. Gonna hit with a real whack. Boy, that's something that is punishing. I'm sorry. Let's get back to square one here. This is the Sexy Time show.
Pat Godwin
That's not sexy.
Tom Griswold
And that's Allie Breen, stand up comedian and occasional painter with her new glasses on. I've gotta tell you, I like those glasses.
Jess Hooker
Oh, I'm glad I'm getting used to them. I was just telling Jason though, I have to try some others and get rid of my Woody Allen look and see what else I can.
Pat Godwin
Must rub.
Chick McGee
Yeah, they look real.
Josh Arnold
That's actually good. Yeah.
Jess Hooker
Thank you.
Chick McGee
And I'm glad the progressives are growing on you. They. It took me weeks and then now I. I just can't.
Tom Griswold
Hey, look, I don't care about our politics.
Chick McGee
I love them so much.
Tom Griswold
This is America. You vote for whichever person.
Jess Hooker
But it's funny, I realize I should have almost gone like non progressive because it looks like Star wars writing as I read down. Like it gets clearer as it gets closer to me, you know, So I maybe should have.
Chick McGee
That'll still get better though. That'll continue to get better.
Jess Hooker
Oh, okay. Yeah, because I'm getting used to that.
Tom Griswold
Okay, now the way this works is people send ally letters about their love troubles and we collectively, I like to call us an ad hoc committee. This ad hoc committee will help you out with your love life. What do we have? Allie?
Jess Hooker
Dear Allie, my boyfriend is really charming, but it comes off like he's flirting with everybody. If anyone around him is cold, he'll basically give him his sweater or his jacket. He opens doors for women. He gives a lot of attention and compliments. I love when he does this for me, obviously, but it feels like it takes away from it when he does it with everybody else. My mom said, just be happy. He's clearly with me and I'm the one who's benefiting the most from this. But don't you think it's kind of disrespectful? And do you think given the chance, he might hook up with one of these people? And that's why he's Treating them so well.
Chick McGee
Oh, you. You are dating a monster.
Christy Lee
Yeah, I know.
Pat Godwin
Like this. Who's happily married. And he does this with all the ladies. He's very nice.
Chick McGee
No, no. You got to kick Ike going, what a horrible monster. Your mom's right. Your mom's right.
Pat Godwin
And you are very insecure, ma'am. Very. Yeah, yeah. Enjoy it.
Tom Griswold
This is an easy one. I think we may have gotten this one right. I.
Christy Lee
It's the worst time ever.
Tom Griswold
Statistics say he's. He's only sleeping with 10% of these. Calm down.
Jess Hooker
Exactly.
Tom Griswold
Calm down.
Christy Lee
He's a great guy, though. But let's be real.
Pat Godwin
He is doing it to make sure.
Tom Griswold
That he's kind of seen as the hero. No, he's just a nice guy. Help other women.
Pat Godwin
He's a nice man. Here's my jacket, sweetheart.
Jess Hooker
That one is a little nice.
Tom Griswold
Wait a minute.
Jess Hooker
That one is a little over the top. Giving the jacket to someone who's not your girlfriend might be a little.
Christy Lee
That one's like.
Tom Griswold
Wait a minute. This sounds. That's. That's a little too much.
Christy Lee
The jacket thing, really.
Chick McGee
If he's guilty of anything, it's of being too gentlemanly.
Pat Godwin
Yes.
Chick McGee
And that's not a crime.
Pat Godwin
No, it's not. I'm with Josh on this. He's so selfless.
Tom Griswold
I think. I think the jacket says you and me later, maybe.
Pat Godwin
Oh, it does not.
Tom Griswold
Yes, it does, but not in the pocket.
Christy Lee
Or.
Jess Hooker
Jess is right. It's too performative. It's too much like, see how amazing I am? Like, I'm going to.
Christy Lee
Because, like, my boyfriend will help and.
Pat Godwin
Always try to, you know, do that kind of stuff. He's not going to take clothes off.
Christy Lee
His back to someone else.
Chick McGee
So you think there's a sexual component to taking your jacket off?
Christy Lee
Off.
Chick McGee
What about Jack it off sounds sexual.
Josh Arnold
Answer the question.
Chick McGee
Just answer the question.
Tom Griswold
You know something? When you're right, you're right. Let's get to our next letter where we failed again.
Pat Godwin
No, we didn't.
Jess Hooker
Dear Ally, my boyfriend and I have always had very vanilla sex. And now he really wants to start experimenting. Chocolate and going to everything.
Tom Griswold
Chocolate sex. Bringing the fluffer.
Chick McGee
He wants to go to golden shirt showers.
Tom Griswold
What?
Jess Hooker
That's where he was extreme. But stuff to golden showers, that's getting very un. Vanilla.
Chick McGee
Well, this is the thing. The guy. This guy has always been into golden showers. He's just now introducing it. You don't just decide.
Jess Hooker
One day, you wake up and decide who with the golden shower, who gives and who receives. Or. That depends on that's what's so wonderful about it.
Christy Lee
It's up to you. It's amazing.
Chick McGee
It depends. Do you have $50 or 100?
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Jess Hooker
Okay. Josh is onto something.
Tom Griswold
Wait.
Jess Hooker
I really love him, but I'm definitely not into the weird sex stuff. I know Josh is going to say he needs this. So here's my question. Should I tell him he's basically allowed to hire someone for the freaky stuff and I'll just be like the normal one and the one who's going to be his everyday girl? Is this so unconventional that he'd be freaked out, or do you think he'd be responsible, receptive?
Tom Griswold
She's a sweet girl for offering that. Yeah.
Chick McGee
Boy, that is a. That is an understanding. Yeah. Lover.
Tom Griswold
Yes. His friends are all gonna go say some smell. Hey, say, Ed, when did you get a cat?
Josh Arnold
Is the roof leaking?
Tom Griswold
This is weird.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, but Josh is right when he said this guy's obviously been thinking about this for a long time. Or he's already into it. Yeah, that's a very.
Jess Hooker
I mean, I guess for the girl. It's so unsexual. It's like the peace stuff. I get it. I'd be all right, you know, someone else pee on you and then you can shower and come home, I guess.
Pat Godwin
So as a guy, would you do this? You would go to someone else for that?
Chick McGee
If you need. If you really do need it.
Tom Griswold
Boy.
Christy Lee
If you really do want.
Chick McGee
And your partner is completely fine with you getting with you. Outsourcing.
Pat Godwin
Really?
Chick McGee
It sounds like she is. I don't think she'd bring it up if she wasn't.
Christy Lee
I don't.
Jess Hooker
Maybe in theory, but once it actually happened. Kristie's probably right.
Christy Lee
This is a trap.
Chick McGee
This is all this lady's word.
Christy Lee
This is right up there with let's not get each other there any Christmas gifts this year.
Chick McGee
Oh, that is a huge trap.
Christy Lee
The same damn thing as.
Chick McGee
As the most mature.
Christy Lee
I can't believe you went to had someone else pee on you.
Chick McGee
I guess I'm just a little more mature in. In the world when it comes to these things. That's right.
Tom Griswold
Thank you, Victor.
Jess Hooker
Well, it is a very 2025 everyone's these days, so. Yeah, it's one of those things, I guess you could.
Christy Lee
Can you contract out, like do this.
Tom Griswold
Part in the shower, like, let him pee on you in the shower, like when the water's still going. I have an idea. Why don't you leave him and get a guy that isn't sick?
Josh Arnold
I'm with you on that one.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Christy Lee
Why don't you.
Tom Griswold
Why don't you find a guy that isn't some weirdo that has some obsession about bodily fluids. Get some normal guy. Unless this guy is a billionaire and is going to shoot you up in a rocket, don't do it. Next. Okay, let's get to our next letter. Once again, let me remind we are joining you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Hello again. That's the lovely Ally Breen with her glasses. Hi, Ali.
Jess Hooker
Yes, hi guys. I wonder, by the way, if that was a thing before porn. Like, do you think people have gotten freakier because of that? Or you think this was always happening and people had to introduce it?
Tom Griswold
I think everything has always been happening.
Chick McGee
Right. But more people are probably willing to try things because of porn.
Tom Griswold
There was a caveman. I thought, this is funny. Hey, Mrs. Hey, Mrs. Grog. How about some of this?
Jess Hooker
Yeah, that's a good point. I feel like we've all been secretly peed on in the shower with your boyfriend.
Christy Lee
Golden What? Golden showers. What would coprophilia be like a chunky golden shower. What do you think?
Chick McGee
A mudslide?
Christy Lee
Yeah, like a blizzard. Like, I don't know.
Tom Griswold
What is wrong with you? I had just cleansed the palate.
Christy Lee
Don't you wonder what it is?
Tom Griswold
No, I don't. Let's move on. What else have we got? Anything that's not this sick?
Jess Hooker
Yes, this is definitely not this sick. My boyfriend and I keep getting back together and I actually do like having sex with him, but I don't want to be with him anymore. Has anyone ever successfully turned a full blown relationship into a friends with benefits and been able to date other people while that happened?
Tom Griswold
No.
Christy Lee
No. It's possible.
Chick McGee
Of course it's possible.
Christy Lee
No, he's nuts.
Chick McGee
Don't ruin this for this lady.
Christy Lee
You know, just kill him or get out. That's all you have to.
Chick McGee
That's have sex with them as much as you want.
Pat Godwin
But isn't he going to be wanting?
Chick McGee
Who cares what he needs and wants?
Jess Hooker
Yeah, he's still going to think that means they're getting back together.
Pat Godwin
He thinks that they're in a relationship.
Chick McGee
Don't worry about him. Get yours.
Pat Godwin
Oh my.
Christy Lee
Get your nut.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Christy Lee
So to speak.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Jess Hooker
That's very feminist of you guys. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
What else have we got? Ally?
Pat Godwin
Tightrope.
Jess Hooker
I know. Dear Ally, I had a very bad breakup last year and I just started getting over it. I cheated and he couldn't forgive me even though I begged. I was Spring cleaning. And I found my ex's old iPad, which he had thought he lost. And I actually got to go back and see that he was cheating, too. Before and after I did, I called and I freaked out on him. He blocked me on everything and said that was untrue and called me crazy. It's so unfair. But I don't want to tell him I know for sure because I actually have his iPad. Because then I won't be able to see what he's doing anymore. How do I handle this boy?
Chick McGee
You know, I was.
Christy Lee
Josh. Go ahead and take this one.
Jess Hooker
Right up till the end, he was with me.
Chick McGee
Yeah, that end twist.
Tom Griswold
Really maybe get over it and move on.
Chick McGee
Yes, of course. You two weren't meant for each other, right? But she doesn't want to move on. She's stalking him via his old iPad.
Pat Godwin
Yep.
Tom Griswold
She just wanted to confirm it was his.
Pat Godwin
So she went through the messages and stuff to make sure.
Chick McGee
Yeah, but Jess, she's still saying. She's saying she's still watching him.
Pat Godwin
If he can still.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, well, yeah, she still wants it because she said she's just getting over it, and so I'm sure that she's not actually.
Chick McGee
No, you're never gonna get over it.
Pat Godwin
Not if you keep doing that.
Tom Griswold
And he's never gonna admit it unless.
Pat Godwin
You say, I have the proof, but.
Jess Hooker
You know, or say the girls told them for, like, point blank, just let it go.
Tom Griswold
A lot of fish in the sea.
Chick McGee
She's not gonna listen.
Jess Hooker
I don't think that's an option.
Chick McGee
She's already too crazy.
Tom Griswold
I mean, the. What is the website? Plenty of fish. The.
Pat Godwin
Plenty of fish. Yeah.
Jess Hooker
People have to be careful with their devices. If you have more than one device and leave one anywhere, someone's watching you.
Christy Lee
Yep.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, for sure.
Pat Godwin
They're all connected now.
Jess Hooker
Yes.
Tom Griswold
If you'd like to be part of this catastrophe. Indeed, you can get a hold of Ali. It's a L, L, I B R E E N on your favorite social media platform. Allie is also on OnlyFans at a L L I be. And let's return. We have time for one more letter. Ally, what is it?
Jess Hooker
Dear Ally, my girlfriend is getting fat. Her mother is fat.
Christy Lee
She's in her late 20, family's fat, father's fat.
Jess Hooker
I'm worried about what her 30s, 40s, and, God forbid, 50s will look like.
Chick McGee
How?
Christy Lee
Tell me about it.
Chick McGee
How do I tell her this?
Christy Lee
He said she's going to be a real load any day now.
Jess Hooker
How do I gently tell her this.
Chick McGee
Is what he Said give her a second sandwich.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Christy Lee
Well, it sounds to me the way you're starting off, you're really sensitive about the situation. That's. That's the good news.
Chick McGee
Do her a favor and break up with her.
Christy Lee
Yeah. Jesus, it's hot.
Pat Godwin
Yeah.
Christy Lee
Go get yourself a nice bulimic. The way. God.
Chick McGee
My gosh. Okay. Kidding me.
Jess Hooker
Or just gift her some OIC when it's her birthday.
Christy Lee
She's fat. Her mother's fat. Whole damn family.
Tom Griswold
Emily's fat. You can see where this is heading.
Christy Lee
I like it in this fat outfit.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Christy Lee
Come on.
Tom Griswold
I got her a gift certificate. What's it called? Is it Lane Bryant?
Christy Lee
Sure.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Is that still out there? Yeah, I think so.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Or there's torrid.
Pat Godwin
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Or does that call it torrid?
Jess Hooker
Oh, yeah.
Christy Lee
Why'd you turn.
Tom Griswold
Put it on.
Jess Hooker
Someone has a. Someone has the best joke. I don't know whose it is, but they were like. That doesn't sound like a fat lady. Store dress barn sounds like a fat lady.
Tom Griswold
That's Josh.
Chick McGee
Arnold. That is my joke.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, That's a great joke, Josh.
Christy Lee
I heard somebody funny say it. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
First I forget who.
Chick McGee
I know. It's surprising. That is the one joke of mine that works.
Jess Hooker
You have plenty. That works.
Chick McGee
That's so funny.
Jess Hooker
I've always remembered that. And I haven't worked with you in like seven years, so.
Tom Griswold
That's a classic.
Chick McGee
That is me.
Tom Griswold
That's immortal. Well, thank you once again, Ali Breen. A L, L, I B or E N. And you're in Florida. Are you in Florida through the weekend or are you going to go back to New York and do some standup?
Jess Hooker
I'm in Florida through Friday. And then Saturday I'm at the Comic Strip. And then the first weekend in May, I'll start promoting this. Now I'm at Helium in Philly.
Tom Griswold
All right. Oh, go see Ally. She's great. Thanks, Ally.
Jess Hooker
Thanks, guys.
Tom Griswold
Much appreciated. Right now, the best way to hear this catastrophic episode of our program is with those Raycon earbuds.
Christy Lee
That's right. Raycon's everyday earbuds are new and improved. Just in time for Mother's Day. You want it? A unique gift for your mom. Something she's not expecting. A real surprise, Josh. That's what you need. Raycons. Their latest models. Better than ever. With 32 hour battery life. Multi point connectivity, let you pair with two devices at once. She will never ask you again to help her with her Bluetooth. Raycon does it all for her. And Raycons come with active noise cancellation often difficult to find at such an accessible price point. And 10 minutes of charging with Raycon, the new and improved part, 90 minutes of battery. And Raycon's everyday earbuds have all the colors and a 30 day happiness guarantee return policy. So go to buyraycon.com Tom and get 20% off site wide. Right now that's Raycon 20% off site wide. When you go to buyraycon.Com Tom that's buyraycon.com Tom Justin Tom for Mother's Day, more frivolity forthcoming.
Tom Griswold
We are in the Orelli Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Christy Lee
Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning even though we're not too much to look at. You can also watch the show on our YouTube channel.
Tom Griswold
Get it?
Christy Lee
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee, over there at the Silac Insurance news desk, there's Pat Godwin. Hello, there's Jessica Alsman. Hey, there's Josh Arnold.
Chick McGee
You know what this song is?
Christy Lee
The blues.
Chick McGee
This song is you're on the way to a destination wedding and you're already late and you're driving through the desert.
Christy Lee
All right.
Chick McGee
And your car is overheating and there's smoke billowing out of the. You slam the hood and you start walking.
Tom Griswold
Cuz you got to be there.
Chick McGee
And this song. Yeah, this song's playing. Classic comedy song.
Tom Griswold
Then what happens?
Christy Lee
We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios.
Tom Griswold
You make it to the wedding.
Chick McGee
Well, that's. You have to watch the rest of the movies.
Christy Lee
Bang one of the bridesmaids.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Josh Arnold
Always.
Christy Lee
Hello, Tom.
Tom Griswold
That was extraordinarily helpful. Let's see now who's who? We have Josh Arnold.
Chick McGee
Shut up.
Pat Godwin
We just did this.
Christy Lee
I just said it.
Pat Godwin
Hey, we have some grim reaper news.
Christy Lee
Oh, well, here's our.
Tom Griswold
Wait a minute.
Chick McGee
Nothing makes you happier.
Tom Griswold
I didn't, I didn't give you the story because I thought it might really get Chick upset.
Pat Godwin
That's why I waited until now.
Josh Arnold
All right, all right. Do it.
Pat Godwin
The charismatic TV personality whose name became nearly synonymous with American game shows for decades, Wink Martindale has passed away at the age of 91. He died Sunday in his home in Rancho Mirage.
Chick McGee
I would have bet $1,000.
Josh Arnold
I thought he was gone.
Christy Lee
You know, there's a. You know what?
Pat Godwin
I did, too.
Christy Lee
I'm going to get this wrong. Wink Martindale is a coach in the NFL. I don't know what his real first name is, but his nickname is Wink because of the original Wink Mar.
Pat Godwin
Oh, really? His real name was Winston Conrad.
Chick McGee
Was he Joker's Wild?
Pat Godwin
No, he was on.
Christy Lee
No, that was Jack Barry.
Pat Godwin
I think Tic Tac Dough was his.
Chick McGee
Tic Tac Dough.
Pat Godwin
Okay, But I thought this was really interesting in his obit.
Christy Lee
Okay.
Pat Godwin
Martindale started as a radio dj.
Christy Lee
Yeah, he did.
Tom Griswold
Good.
Christy Lee
Good morning. Here's AC DC for you and the.
Pat Godwin
Week of an very first interview with Elvis Presley.
Chick McGee
Really?
Christy Lee
Hello there, hippie. What's your problem with this loud screaming?
Josh Arnold
Shake your hips on my.
Pat Godwin
My way back in July of 1954.
Christy Lee
You best not simulate sex on my radio.
Tom Griswold
How old was Wink?
Pat Godwin
Well, he started his career at 17. So he was young. He was. Yeah. Yeah. He was young when this happened.
Tom Griswold
Well, let's. Let's. Anyway, let's return to the. Well, it's not Return to the Living. We'll do.
Christy Lee
We'll do dead People, but from a different angle. Dead people and history, and we don't have the. Can you put the Today in History back up here? I don't know why I. I've got this.
Tom Griswold
All right.
Christy Lee
Yeah, Me. Yeah, we got that Today in History.
Tom Griswold
Okay, well, Wilbur Wright.
Christy Lee
The good Wright brother.
Chick McGee
Yes.
Christy Lee
Everyone said Orville was a pain in the ass.
Tom Griswold
Really?
Chick McGee
Brat.
Tom Griswold
The sister did it all. Born in 1860. Incredibly brave.
Chick McGee
And he has blood on his hands.
Tom Griswold
He murdered people, you know, during some of the test flights. A few people didn't make it.
Christy Lee
Is that true?
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Christy Lee
Why don't we ever hear about that?
Tom Griswold
Read the book Big Government.
Christy Lee
Is there a book?
Josh Arnold
Kitty Hawk? Don't Talk.
Chick McGee
That's right. You never heard that.
Tom Griswold
How about this one?
Christy Lee
I haven't, but Happy birthday, Sniper.
Tom Griswold
1889. Happy birthday, Charlie Chaplin. You got to be good to get away with that mustache.
Christy Lee
But he had it first.
Pat Godwin
Yeah, I was going to say, wasn't he?
Tom Griswold
Yeah, but that's kind of retro. Shameful, really.
Christy Lee
So do you think Hitler saw it and went, yeah, I'm.
Tom Griswold
Guns that do that or they won't be able to hear me over the piano music.
Christy Lee
What the hell?
Chick McGee
I am. See, little Trump.
Christy Lee
This is relatable.
Tom Griswold
How about this one? 1924. I'll. I'll do it in. In quiz form to you, Halsey. Okay. Composed the Pink Panther theme. I have no idea. Are you kidding me?
Christy Lee
Justin Bieber.
Tom Griswold
His name sounds like a pasta. How about that, Mr. Spaghettio?
Chick McGee
Yes, yes. Ravioli Spaghetti.
Tom Griswold
It's the great Henry Mancini.
Josh Arnold
We call him Hank around here.
Tom Griswold
Where's the pasta? And that Mancini, I'd like them. Mancini with red sauce. No. Okay. Sorry, I'm pretty poor. How about this one? Panthers. You know what a panther is? I do. What?
Christy Lee
You know what?
Pat Godwin
It's a kitty cat.
Chick McGee
She said, I do.
Tom Griswold
And he goes, what an animal. A panther is any cat that is black. That's not true.
Josh Arnold
That's black.
Christy Lee
So Idris Elba is a panther.
Tom Griswold
So a jaguar or a leopard or a tiger, theoretically.
Christy Lee
Hey, you panther you.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, seriously.
Chick McGee
Oh, so if I have a black cat, I have a panther.
Tom Griswold
Yes.
Christy Lee
Even a house cat. Is that right?
Tom Griswold
Y.
Christy Lee
No, no.
Tom Griswold
Read me.
Christy Lee
Read me the definition again.
Tom Griswold
No, no, it's. If a black. Like a black tiger would be considered to be a panther.
Josh Arnold
You said black.
Christy Lee
No, it would be a black. It would be a black tiger, you idiot.
Pat Godwin
Black panther is an actual.
Tom Griswold
A black panther is Eldridge Cleaver.
Christy Lee
Yes, but.
Pat Godwin
Oh, my God.
Chick McGee
All right, now we're where he wanted.
Tom Griswold
To be.
Christy Lee
In the 60s.
Chick McGee
Would you laugh, though, Tom, if you went to a zoo and they had a black panther and it was. And they affixed a fist pick to its head?
Tom Griswold
I would. I would make a donation. I love the fact that you're aware of history, have a sense of humor.
Christy Lee
Say black panther.
Tom Griswold
Christy, this is for you. Born in 1927, Joseph Ratzinger.
Christy Lee
Oh, Joey.
Pat Godwin
Rat.
Tom Griswold
Joey anyone?
Pat Godwin
Isn't he?
Tom Griswold
Yes. He was po. Pope Benedict.
Christy Lee
He's the one broke it.
Tom Griswold
He quit. He's the one that was too poop to Pope.
Chick McGee
That's right.
Pat Godwin
Pope Peron is the nice apartment.
Tom Griswold
He was like, the first one to do that in a thousand years or something.
Christy Lee
So does.
Chick McGee
And he was a woman.
Christy Lee
Does Frank live in the apartment that Ben. He lived in?
Pat Godwin
No, I don't think so. I think the active.
Christy Lee
All the Pope.
Chick McGee
I thought they did live in.
Pat Godwin
Pope lives in an apartment. But when Benedict retired, he was in another apartment.
Chick McGee
Didn't he retire because he had a uterus? They made a movie about it.
Christy Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Chick McGee
They named the movie.
Tom Griswold
This is all helping.
Christy Lee
They took the easy way.
Tom Griswold
Oh, how about this one? Born in 1947. Alzy. Okay. When he was a college man, his name was Lou Alcindor. Who is it?
Pat Godwin
Oh, I know this one.
Christy Lee
No one says, I'm going to call a friend Lou Alcindor.
Pat Godwin
Call me. I know it.
Christy Lee
Lou Alcindor.
Pat Godwin
Is it Kareem?
Tom Griswold
Kareem Abdul Jabar.
Pat Godwin
Yes.
Josh Arnold
In the form of a question.
Tom Griswold
He has a good. A great podcast. Coffee with Kareem.
Christy Lee
Yes, he does.
Chick McGee
Coffee with Kareem.
Josh Arnold
Coffee with Kareem.
Tom Griswold
Yes. Some people call it latte. And his partner sugar. Coffee with Kareem and Sugar.
Christy Lee
He has, he has afib.
Tom Griswold
You should keep an eye. Yeah, I was gonna say, you turn on the TV news, chances are one in three, it's gonna be Kareem talking about afib.
Chick McGee
He's tall.
Tom Griswold
He invented the skyhook, which you should know as a fisherman.
Chick McGee
Yeah, absolutely.
Christy Lee
Yeah, that's why they came.
Chick McGee
I've got caught a bird sky hooking.
Christy Lee
Catch fish out of the air.
Tom Griswold
Okay, thank you very much. Well, thank you for joining us. We'll try to do better tomorrow. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob. For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom Show Contest rules, go to.
Christy Lee
Bob&Tom.Comcont contest-rules or just scroll down to the bottom of the page and see contest rules. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Tom Griswold
NBA veteran Jim Jackson takes you on the court.
Chick McGee
You get a chance to dig into.
Tom Griswold
My 14 year career in the NBA.
Chick McGee
And also get the input from the people that will be joining. Charles Barkley. I'm excited to be on your podcast, man. Man, it's an honor. Spike Lee, entrepreneur, filmmaker, Academy Award winner, Nixon.
Josh Arnold
Now you see I got you.
Chick McGee
But also how sports, brings life, passion.
Tom Griswold
Music, all of this together.
Christy Lee
The Jim Jackson show, part of the.
Josh Arnold
Rich Eisen Podcast Network. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.
Podcast Summary: The BOB & TOM Show - April 16, 2025
The BOB & TOM Show is renowned for its blend of comedy, talk, news, and sports. In the April 16, 2025 episode, hosted by Tom Griswold and Chick McGee, the show delves into a variety of entertaining and intriguing topics ranging from unexpected mishaps to sports highlights and quirky news stories. Below is a detailed summary capturing the essence of the discussions, key insights, and notable moments from the episode.
The episode opens with a gripping story shared by Tom Griswold about an unfortunate incident involving funeral pallbearers in the Philadelphia area.
Summary: During a funeral service, the pallbearers carrying a casket encountered slippery conditions, causing them to slip and fall into the grave. One pallbearer was briefly knocked unconscious when the casket landed on him. Fortunately, all individuals involved emerged unharmed, but the deceased remained in repose.
Notable Quote:
The sports segment covers NBA playoff performances, behavior of specific players, and the growing popularity of pickleball.
Summary: The hosts discuss the intense performances in last night's NBA playoff games, highlighting standout players like Jimmy Butler and Steph Curry. Tom Griswold humorously remarks on the locker room ambiance, while Trey Young's overly enthusiastic interactions with referees spark a conversation about sportsmanship.
Notable Quotes:
Summary: Pickleball emerges as a trending sport, with discussions on its appeal and upcoming events. One host expresses a desire to become a commissioner, indicating the sport's expanding organizational structure.
Notable Quotes:
In a dedicated segment, the hosts explore unique gift ideas for Mother's Day, emphasizing personalized and lasting presents.
Summary: Tom Griswold promotes Steven Singer Jewelers' limited edition 24-karat gold-dipped blue moon roses and At Last bracelets as ideal Mother's Day gifts. The discussion includes the sentimental value of these items and their guaranteed longevity.
Notable Quotes:
The show transitions to fascinating wildlife stories, including elephant behavior during natural disasters and unusual animal smuggling cases.
Summary: Pat Godwin narrates a touching video from the San Diego Zoo Safari Park where African elephants demonstrate protective instincts towards their young amidst an earthquake. The elephants formed an "alert circle" to safeguard their calves, showcasing profound maternal instincts.
Notable Quotes:
Summary: The hosts discuss a case where Belgian teens were arrested in Kenya for attempting to smuggle over 5,000 exotic ants out of the country. The species included valuable harvester ants native to East Africa, making them highly sought after in illegal trade.
Notable Quotes:
The episode features a mix of humorous and eyebrow-raising news segments that add to the show's diverse content palette.
Summary: Josh Arnold brings up a bizarre incident where British tennis player Harriet Dart publicly requested her opponent to wear deodorant during a match. The comment was broadcasted, leading to mixed reactions from fans and sparking a debate on sportsmanship and personal hygiene.
Notable Quotes:
Summary: Chick McGee recounts a story of a Missouri woman who crashed her truck into a store, attributing the accident to her Crocs getting stuck on the pedal. This humorous yet cautionary tale emphasizes the potential hazards of unconventional footwear while driving.
Notable Quotes:
Summary: The hosts discuss a 19-year-old man's fake bomb threat to disrupt his girlfriend's cruise after feeling left out. The incident caused significant inconvenience as authorities searched thousands of rooms, leading to his arrest and sentencing.
Notable Quotes:
Interspersed with news segments, the hosts offer spicy commentary on modern dating challenges, often through humorous storytelling.
Summary: Through letters from listeners, the hosts provide unsolicited advice on navigating complicated romantic situations. Topics range from handling unfaithful partners to setting personal boundaries, all delivered with the show's signature humor.
Notable Quotes:
Pat Godwin shares an amusing story about a new café in Florida where patrons can cuddle with capybaras, large semi-aquatic rodents from South America.
Summary: The Capybara Café in St. Augustine offers unique interactions with capybaras, allowing visitors to cuddle and play with these gentle creatures. The initiative aims to provide animal lovers with a therapeutic and enjoyable experience, despite the unconventional nature of the setup.
Notable Quotes:
The April 16, 2025 episode of The BOB & TOM Show delivers a rich tapestry of stories and discussions that keep listeners both entertained and informed. From heartwarming wildlife tales to peculiar human behaviors and spirited sports debates, the hosts maintain their engaging banter while weaving in insightful commentary. Notably, the episode underscores the show's ability to balance humor with substantive content, making it a favorite among its nationwide audience.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps:
Note: Advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections have been omitted in accordance with the show's content summarization guidelines.