The BOB & TOM Show April 2, 2026

Summary

The Bob & Tom Show Free Podcast – April 2, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of The BOB & TOM Show delivers the show’s classic blend of quick-witted banter, quirky news stories, listener mail, bizarre world records, and in-studio comedy. The hosts (Tom Griswold, Chick McGee, Christy Lee, Josh Arnold, Pat Godwin, Ace Cosby) bounce from cosmic bathroom science to space launches and Easter candy, from world records involving talented horses to hilarious guest interviews and phone pranks. With guests like comedian DJ Dangler, Al Jackson, and Tom Mabe, the episode is packed with humor, irreverent discussion, and running jokes about space toilets, sperm in space, pickup trucks, and emojis with a filthy twist.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Opening Comedy and Classic Tom Mabe Prank Call

[00:19–03:10]

• The show features a vintage Tom Mabe prank: Tom attempts to RSVP for a supposed dinner invitation with President Bush, riffing on attire and Southern hospitality before discovering it’ll cost $2,500 per plate.
  • “He invited me! $2,500 for dinner? What are we having, spotted owl?” – Tom Mabe ([02:40])

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2. Morning Roundtable – Studio Introductions & Name Game

[03:10–06:37]

• The hosts check in around the studio, joke about the origins and variations of common names, and riff on quirky nicknames.
  • “Have you seen your birth certificate, Josh?” – Tom ([06:09])
  • “I have the original—all the way from Nigeria.” – Josh ([06:14])
• Discuss how names like “Peggy” derive from “Margaret” and the peculiarities of using given vs. short forms on official documents.

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3. Space Launches, Space Toilets, and Sperm in Space

[10:02–14:37], [20:02–23:35], [96:37–107:00]

• The successful launch of Artemis II occupies much of the early show with both reverence and jokes.
  • “If you talk to the guides at Houston… the first question people ask is, how do they use the toilet in space?” – Tom ([12:07])
• New space toilet technology: Allows simultaneous urination and defecation—a leap from the “plastic bags, tubes, and funnels” of Apollo-era systems.
  • “With the previous system, you could do one or the other but not both. Now you can...” – Christy ([99:48])
• Sperm Motility in Space: New studies show a lack of gravity reduces sperm motility, complicating prospects for space reproduction.
  • “Having a baby in space may require a bit more direction…” – Christy ([104:55])
  • “Let’s not procreate in space until we know there are no alien bacteria that’ll mingle with our DNA.” – Josh ([105:45])
• The crew jokes about astronaut hygiene, privacy curtains, and the not-so-glamorous realities of bodily functions in orbit.
  • Pat Godwin parodies "Space Oddity": “Ground control, we must discuss / Our toilets leak like on a Greyhound bus…” ([107:08])

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4. Banter About Pickup Trucks, Car Memories, and Easter Traditions

[31:34–56:10]

• The group reflects on owning pickup trucks, Easter egg hunts, and the nostalgia of getting plastic eggs filled with candy.
  • “You fill the big plastic eggs with candy and a couple bucks.” – Tom ([31:05])
  • “Did you get Easter baskets when you were kids?” – Tom ([30:39])
• The rise of “Super Stuffed” Pop-Tarts prompts debate about modern snack foods.
  • “The move comes after years of customer complaints there wasn’t enough inside.” – Christy ([109:01])

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5. Listener Mail & Country Sayings

[27:07–28:30]

• Listeners write in with regional sayings:
  • “They went after it like a hog to a slop bucket.”
  • “Busier than a two-peckered billy goat.” ([28:05])

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6. World Records: Horse Tricks, Dead Hangs, and Body Painting

[61:24–71:12]

• Horse Named Gringo Performs 38 Tricks: Including dancing, kicking a ball, waving a flag, and playing keyboard—with the group noting the, ahem, anatomical spectacle.
  • “He’s wagging…that’s a boy horse, isn’t it? Wow, look at that.” ([65:01])
• Oldest Woman, 90, Holds ‘Dead Hang’ Position for Nearly Three Minutes:
  • “Dead hang is an unfortunate name…” – Tom ([68:19])
• Largest Body-Paint Gathering: 498 painted men (and a few women) set a world record.
  • “I thought it’d be really sexy, but there aren’t enough ladies.” – Tom ([69:11])

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7. Interview: DJ Dangler in Studio

[85:30–91:15], [98:10–110:24], [155:22–161:37]

• Physical Presence & Comedy Roots: DJ laughs about his size (“size 15 boots, huge hands”) and his journey from a big family.
  • “I tried to learn sign language, but deaf folks thought I was yelling at them.” – DJ ([89:05])
• Wedding at Comedy Club & Relationship Status:
  • “My first wedding was at the Comedy Caravan...My wife lived in a bottle!” ([155:41])
  • “I’m so terrified of women. I have four big sisters and a pretty predictable flinch.” ([156:49])
• Body Positivity:
  • “I’m getting too tubby to do what I wanna do… I’ve got a crab leg wiener. There’s plenty of meat there if you know how to get to it.” – DJ ([158:00])
• He jokes about his “peculiar look” and the backhanded compliments he gets.

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8. Al Jackson’s Slang School

[124:52–136:34]

• Al Jackson Zooms in to teach Tom and crew modern slang:
  • “No notes” — a term for something done perfectly (no critiques).
  • “Roommate syndrome” — when a romantic relationship turns platonic/cohabitative.
  • “You are like a scientist: the male and the female…” – Al, on Tom's clinical language ([134:45])

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9. Tom Mabe Interview — Legendary Prankster

[140:13–145:18]

• Tom Mabe joins via Zoom to discuss the Comedy Caravan's closing and classic bits:
  • Recounts his “Epic DUI” prank (putting a friend in a fake coma for 10 years).
  • Classic phone scam: Pretending to be a homicide detective to telemarketers.
  • “Let me put it to you this way, Mike. Like, say I wanted to mail your ass a letter…” – Tom Mabe ([149:38])

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10. Rapid-Fire News & Irreverent Animal Stories

[154:42–161:56]

• Airport Possum Prank: A possum found amid plush animals in an Australian airport shop.
  • “It’s cuter than ours… way cuter.” ([160:26])
• Emoji Etiquette: Which emoji combos are sexy or off-putting in early relationships.
  • “Eggplant, water droplets, peach…meaning I want to [bleep] on your ass.” – Josh ([148:34])
• The panel ponders the meaning and misuse of peach, eggplant, and water drop emojis.
• Listener Letters and Pickup Trucks: Banter about truck choices, fake Calvin & Hobbes decals, and nostalgic memories of riding in truck beds.

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Notable Quotes & Comic Zingers

• “You want a Supreme Court Justice or a stripper? Name matters.” – Tom ([06:37])
• “If you don't kneel in church, you are forsaken by God. We all know it.” – Chick ([40:09])
• “It was a curtain—the capsule was the size of two minivans! Not a lot of privacy.” – Christy ([13:03])
• “You can just sit there...or you get where you're kneeling.” – Christy ([40:07])
• “Horses are just disgusting. But Australian possums are way cuter!” – Panel ([160:01])
• “Did you ever see a horse play keyboard with his nose? Now I have.” – Tom ([64:22])
• “I tried to use sign language, but the deaf folks thought I was yelling!” – DJ Dangler ([89:05])
• “I’m getting too tubby to do what I wanna do in bed. I have a crab leg wiener…” – DJ ([158:00])

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Memorable Moments & Running Jokes

• Artemis II launch and space toilet science inspire endless bodily function jokes and a musical parody.
• Easter leads to debate over Peeps (fresh vs. stale), giant chocolate bunnies, and the violence of breaking them up with a mallet.
• A deep dive into the science and etiquette of truck ownership (“If you have a pickup you should always have something in the back!”), name origins, and “Googly Eyes” as animal deterrents.
• Repeated callbacks to bodily humor, bathroom design, and emoji interpretation—the crew gleefully skews earthy and irreverent.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment/Topic | Timestamps (approx.) | |-------------------------------------|--------------------------------------| | Tom Mabe prank call | 00:26 – 03:10 | | Names, Nicknames and the Pope | 03:10 – 09:41 | | Artemis II, space toilets/launch | 10:02 – 14:37; 20:02 – 23:35; 96:37+ | | Listener mail & country sayings | 27:07 – 28:30 | | Easter candy (giant bunny, Peeps) | 24:10 – 30:36 | | DJ Dangler in-studio | 85:30 – 91:15, 98:10 – 110:24, 155:22+| | World Records (horse, dead hang) | 61:24 – 71:12 | | Tom Mabe interview | 140:13 – 145:18 | | Al Jackson – Slang School | 124:52 – 136:34 | | Emoji etiquette & sex symbols | 145:54 – 149:04 | | Possum in airport gift shop | 159:30 – 161:37 |

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Conclusion

This episode stands out for its remarkable mix of blue-collar humor, scientific curiosity, offbeat guests, and a steady current of genial mockery. Listeners will come away with new facts about space toilets, a refreshed appreciation for classic Tom Mabe pranks, a world-record-holding horse’s talents, and—most importantly—a clear warning about which emojis not to use on a first date.

“If you can't beat ’em, join ’em”—especially if it means talking about poop in space.

Transcript

[A]

It's the bob and tom show.

[B]

First new message. Hello, my name is Eileen. I am your contact with the NRC's Business Advisory Council. Congress wanted me to invite you to the annual dinner with President Bush.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Please call me as soon as you get this message at 1-800-22577 in our business advisory Council. May I help you?

[C]

Is Eileen there?

[B]

Eileen is not available at the moment. May I ask who's calling?

[C]

Tom. She called earlier about having supper with the President. And I tell you what, it's M A V E. And I tell you what, we were just shocked when we got the message. What does one wear to something like that?

[D]

Like khakis?

[C]

Or is that maybe a little more laid back than that?

[B]

Who the invitation was for Tom Mabe.

[C]

Yeah, that's Tom. Maybe. And I just. I tell you, we were just. We want to bring a dish. A green bean casserole. I make a bean dip that rip you

[B]

still looking? For your information. Here it is, sir. Okay. My name is Melissa. And you and your wife are invited to attend an annual dinner with President Bush and some other key business leaders. Congressman Tom recorded a message and. Let me go ahead and play that.

[C]

Well, let me ask you something. I mean when is this schedule?

[B]

The dinner is scheduled for June 13th and 14th. It will be held in Washington D.C. and sir, this is a black tie affair. So that means that you need to wear a tuxedo or a nice suit and your wife needs to wear a nice cocktail dress or a gown.

[C]

Oh, she's got a bridesmaid dress that she's only worn about four or five times. My sister in law just got married

[B]

and that thing's pretty sure a bridesmaid's dress is fine.

[C]

It didn't match the other girls.

[B]

But we are asking for a nominal donation.

[C]

I couldn't take anything. I'm just honored that he will buy it. And if he wants to give me a couple dollars for gas or something.

[B]

Let me make clear. We would ask for a donation from to you and the suggested donation from you would be $2,500.

[C]

$2,500 for. For two of us?

[B]

No, that is per plate.

[C]

$2,500. What are we having spotted out? What if we just sat at the couch with a couple TV drinkers on like. Like we make my brother and step kids do on Thanksgiving?

[B]

Excuse me, is this some kind of joke? No.

[C]

Yeah. Hell no. You're telling me $2,500 for dinner? He invited me.

[B]

A nice day.

[A]

Hello from the world famous O'Reilly. Auto Part Studios. Well, now it is a Mom and Tom show. There's Christy Lee at the news desk.

[E]

Hello, Chick.

[A]

Hello. There's Pat Godwin.

[F]

Hey, Chick.

[A]

Hey, man. There's Josh Arnold. Hi, Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick McGee at the orange insult.com sports desk. Now, here he is. He actually looks poised and ready to go.

[D]

No, no, I'm just.

[A]

Okay. All right. You're hiding it.

[C]

You're hiding it.

[A]

Well, here's Tom getting organized.

[D]

Thank you. That was a little bit of phone action with comedian Tom. Maybe he'll be our guest later today along with DJ Dangler and Al Jackson and. What? Isn't DJ Dangler's brother's name Dick Dangler or something?

[A]

I believe so, yeah.

[D]

Okay. Dick.

[G]

I think it's Peter.

[D]

Oh, Peter Justice.

[A]

Peter, Dick.

[D]

One of those that adds a certain amount of elegance. Even better than Dick Dangler. But welcome to the program.

[A]

How do people feel about the Peters?

[E]

My Richard Dangler, if he were a

[A]

dad out of the Peters and the Richards and the Johns? How do they feel about being called Ch. Jack and Pete instead of Peter? They get real irritated or they care for it or Henry for Hank. For Henry. Do they like it or. No, my name's Henry.

[D]

You know, I know some that are, you know. Yeah. Yeah.

[G]

My uncle Jack was actually John. And I remember being blown away when I found that out.

[A]

Oh, yeah. It's like he had a secret name.

[G]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

Is that Kennedy all. You know, his. His buddies all hell with. Jack and I were.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

Down in Marilyn Monroe's underwear drawer one day.

[G]

It was my great Uncle Jack. He smoked cigars and he taught me how to play bumper pool.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, cool. That sounds so cool. Yeah.

[G]

Yeah. I loved him. And he. I remember my grandpa were in a huge fight and finally my grandpa just goes John. And that's where I. That's where I learned.

[D]

Oh, well, I was his name. Coming up, we have your.

[E]

There are people that are named just Jack, right? You don't have to be a John.

[G]

Yeah, sure.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

All John's Jackson.

[G]

No, no.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

There's a Jackson's become real popular, as has Jackson with an X. J, X, J, A, X, O, N. I haven't seen that.

[A]

You know, the big head scratchers. We've talked about this before is how did Peggy become.

[E]

How. Margaret.

[A]

Margaret.

[E]

Where did that come from?

[A]

Doesn't happen all the time, but it does happen.

[D]

Yeah, you got me.

[A]

I don't know.

[G]

I get nervous. I get nervous when I put Josh instead of Joshua on some things because I don't know what my official documents say.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[G]

It's like, oh, on an airplane. Like an airplane ticket, should I be buying Joshua?

[H]

Right.

[G]

And if I put Josh, will they not let me on?

[A]

That's.

[D]

Yeah, I get the same thing with Tom and Tom. Ah, yeah.

[A]

Have you seen your birth certificate, Josh?

[G]

I have it. You have it? I have the original.

[D]

Wow. All the way from Nigeria.

[G]

Yes. Yes.

[A]

Nice.

[E]

You not have your birth certificate?

[A]

Not that I know.

[G]

Colorful than American birth certificate.

[D]

Yeah, it's kind of like their money.

[G]

Yes.

[D]

All kinds of cool stuff.

[A]

Money's beautiful. It doesn't. It's not worth anything, but it's beautiful.

[G]

You may as well just throw the trash. But still, it looks wonderful.

[D]

As you know, I. I often.

[A]

Treat yourself. Go to the atm.

[D]

It's a day I have invented the Supreme Court justice guide to naming your kids. As you know, I always say, hey, would this be a good name of a Supreme Court justice versus Would this be a good name for a stripper?

[E]

Right.

[D]

You got to be careful. Now, the same thing kind of is true of the Pope, if you think about it.

[E]

Well, Pope gets to pick his name.

[D]

Yeah, but you don't have, like, a Pope Jack. No, it'd be too informal.

[E]

Pope Leo's pretty informal.

[A]

I would imagine Leo might have. Not only Lee is Leo cool, but I bet he has some sort of nickname.

[E]

But don't you think Leo's kind of

[A]

casual among his close friends?

[D]

Like, is he officially. Is he officially Pope Leo or is Pope Leo. He's not Pope Leonard.

[A]

No, that's Pope Leo in the. In the documents. I've seen that.

[E]

Yeah. Maybe it was a DiCaprio fan. We don't know.

[A]

I thought you were going to say maybe he was decapitated.

[D]

Fortunately, no. Pope Jack would seem a little informal. Yeah, or like Pope Woody doesn't have the. Doesn't have the gravitas.

[E]

That funny you would put Jack and Woody together.

[D]

Oh, sorry.

[E]

No, that's fine.

[D]

I didn't mean that.

[E]

Is I one of my exes? Very nice man. His birthday's coming up soon, and his

[D]

name is Jack, but his nickname is Woody. Yeah, I am so sorry. I did not do that.

[A]

On.

[E]

Yes, he's alive.

[D]

Isn't there one that's not the first one.

[F]

Okay, don't laugh at me then.

[D]

Okay. Hey, Pat.

[F]

Like I was crazy.

[D]

Hey, Pat, could you go park my car? Anything to get out of here.

[A]

Let's. Let's speaking of that first one instead. Do you have an alibi? Did that work out? Yeah, okay, cool.

[E]

No, I wasn't in the same state.

[D]

Dead people. We've slept. Slept with. We'll start with you.

[A]

Oh, well.

[E]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Hey, that's a good topic. I don't think. Wow.

[I]

Not.

[A]

Not knowledge. Anyone's dead, I don't think. No, I can't think of any that would be.

[D]

You've never spent a Saturday afternoon going, I wonder if she's still alive.

[E]

And did you look her up?

[A]

Well, no, but.

[F]

Oh, there's some that are dead.

[D]

You know what?

[A]

I might have said that, but I certainly didn't pursue it, you weirdo. My God. I'm gonna track this down. That's why you're so busy tracking down old.

[D]

It's amazing what you can find out if you search obituary.

[A]

I wonder if Jeie's still alive. I'm going to give her a call, like, you know, see what's up.

[D]

You know that one prick, your high school that was always a dick. There's a certain satisfaction.

[A]

I told you about that. The guy, that biggest jerk in our high school, he fell through the ice and drowned one Christmas. Do you remember that?

[D]

Didn't it make you feel good?

[A]

Damn right it did.

[E]

Yes, well, don't put that.

[D]

Oh, don't lie.

[A]

Oh, my. Oh, I married. That was the best Christmas ever.

[D]

Yeah. There's one guy, always was picking on me and he's no longer with us. I'm glad I told you.

[A]

I've told you this before. I know the name of the guy. I know where he work. Pissed on me in the shower. When? During football practice. I got his name. One of these days there's gonna be a bag of urine delivered.

[F]

He pissed on you in the shower?

[A]

It was a thing. There's a gang shower and football camaraderie. Let's go piss on the freshman or whatever.

[G]

This be funny.

[C]

Oh, boy.

[A]

This is hilarious. Of course, you got.

[D]

Of course, a latent homosexuality.

[A]

You're lathered up and you're. You don't know you're being pissed on. He's standing there and everybody's gathered around laughing while they're pissing on.

[D]

Yeah, but we know deep in his heart he wants to. You know.

[E]

Where did it hit?

[A]

I'm not sure. Probably on the ass, cascading down myself.

[D]

Speaking of which, we have some interesting stories about space. And of course, yesterday evening, and by the way, successful launch of Artemis 2.

[A]

I sent Tom a picture. I was watching the rocket launch. I'd sent him a picture of the countdown. Yeah, I said, you know, thought I'd reach Here you. Nothing. No response? No. Kiss my ass.

[D]

No, don't bother me. I realized. I realized it might be going early.

[A]

That's why I kind of did that.

[D]

I was out with the dogs and then it was.

[A]

It ended up being a little late.

[E]

Late. Yeah.

[D]

What was interesting, I was watching. If you were watching it on. I was watching on network television. And after it went, it launched and then it. You could see they fired the engines and then it cut. And it was still standing there. And I'm thinking, what. What happened? It turned out I found out the network was showing it on a delay of like 10 seconds.

[E]

Just in case.

[D]

In case something went wrong.

[G]

Right.

[D]

So I thought it was just bad

[G]

because it went black for a little bit when I was watching.

[J]

Me too.

[E]

I watched it on YouTube.

[G]

They blew it.

[D]

Yeah, that's what I thought.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah, they might. They probably should, you know, maybe say something.

[G]

Well, Barry writes in and I may. He may actually have an explanation for it. He says AI is so good these days that the Artemis launch looks totally real.

[D]

Oh, God.

[A]

There you go, Tom.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And by gosh, it was April Fool's Day.

[E]

Yeah.

[G]

I was a little concerned with. As they're following it going up, the camera angle was such to where it looked like it was going right back down.

[E]

Thank you. I saw.

[A]

This is really sideways.

[G]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

What the hell's going on?

[G]

Couldn't follow it. Correct.

[E]

Thank you, Josh.

[D]

I thought they said you could see it everywhere in Florida.

[G]

I know.

[D]

I've been at Disney World and looked over.

[E]

Yeah. We were doing a show and you

[D]

can see various launches. But it was great. It was really cool. But we have a news story that ties in chicks being urinated on in the shower. With the launch, there is something interesting aboard this capsule.

[A]

Something one of the tests the astronauts have to go through.

[D]

Something brand new. Now, before you poo poo this or in this case, Poop. Poop it. Christie, I. If you talk to the guides at Houston, whatever they always say. Yeah. The first question people ask is, you know, how do they use the toilet in space? You may remember this. There is a brand new first time ever in use space toilet they were talking about.

[A]

I watched NBC News now or so I didn't know it was a channel, but they went real deep and they said there's something about suction and yeah,

[D]

it's a whole new thing.

[A]

Then one of the guys. Because one of the guys giggling a little while they were talking about this and the guy, hey, you get up in space, you're gonna want a Toilet. Okay.

[D]

Yeah, that's the thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

You know, in Apollo 13, that great movie, they never. They don't bother showing, you know, Tom Hanks going, hey, look, fellas. Houston, we got a problem. But I got one, too. I'll be right back. Among other things, there now is a curtain, by the way.

[E]

What do you mean, a curtain?

[D]

A. There is a. A privacy curtain for the bathroom.

[A]

Like a Wizard of Oz curtain.

[D]

Christy, the thing is, that was described as being. The capsules was described as being approximately the size of two minivans.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

So there isn't a separate bathroom slash

[A]

wash, but it is a bigger capsule than ever before. Right.

[D]

As I understand it.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. Anyway, it was cool stuff.

[E]

When I was watching. I was watching on my computer on NASA, on the NASA channel, and I don't know if you guys stayed around long enough, but at one point, Jason probably heard this. They were like. Houston was trying to tell him to do something, and the guy goes, we have our hands a little busy here. Can we get back to you in a minute? I had to laugh. It was like, yeah, give us a minute, guys. Come on.

[D]

Anyway, so far, so good.

[G]

So they're back. They already whipped around.

[D]

No, no, no, no, no.

[E]

10 days. Yeah, they'll be up there.

[D]

And they don't actually orbit the moon. They just go around it and then come right back.

[E]

And they haven't left our orbit yet.

[G]

Well, you guys sure answered me. Really, seriously.

[F]

I believe you.

[D]

We're talking about the serious business of pooping in space.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Cut out the count. And.

[A]

Well, you know, Josh, we learn about things on Earth by going out or. I. I can't do it. I can't do it. Go ahead,

[D]

all of you.

[G]

Godspeed, all of them.

[B]

They're good.

[A]

If you were. If you were born at a certain time, and that's becoming less and less because of this. That generation's dying off. There was some. Some sort of hero, mysterious Corvette thing about astronauts. And I don't think that carries on very long, very much anymore at all.

[E]

And there was no. And it was just weird.

[A]

My opinion.

[D]

There are certain traditions. I don't think they pee in the launch vehicle anymore.

[E]

They don't smoke in the control room anymore.

[D]

Yeah, that sucks.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

That was kind of cool.

[G]

Oh, man.

[D]

Short sleeve, white shirts, tie. They all have the same glasses, same haircut.

[A]

Gene Cernan.

[E]

They remodeled that whole thing, too. It looked so different.

[A]

It's like wood paneling. Wood paneling.

[E]

They got like a wood front on the front of the desk.

[D]

And they actually. I I. Something I didn't like. They showed the. One of the communicators. Did you see they were showing that woman talking and she gave this little speech which was.

[A]

You know who. She looked like one of those. One of those electronic DJs. She had the microphone.

[D]

Yeah, I kind of like not seeing them just during the disembodied voices, rather than seeing her reading it off of a screen.

[E]

Yeah, I agree.

[A]

See, you're very romantic, if you will, about this whole astronaut thing. You were right in. It really touched you in a certain place at a certain time.

[E]

And we didn't get. We have liftoff of Artemis, too. It was like.

[A]

That was my favorite part of the whole thing. Tom Yama said, we're going to just now let you hear the talk back between Houston and the. And he said, okay.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And there was nothing for like a minute.

[K]

Nothing.

[E]

Because we are used to that.

[A]

And then I think One guy said 25. At 25 seconds. Yeah, 15.

[E]

Yeah. We didn't get a countdown.

[A]

Didn't get 10, 9, 1. Nothing.

[D]

Yeah. I want. I don't know why that was always exciting, but.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

And then the one guy I was watching was saying, you could feel the ground shaking. Now, I've been at a launch, I saw one of the launches about 30 years ago, and as I said, the coolest thing I've ever seen, because you're watching and there's hundreds of people around you, and you, they, they, they had the countdown live, you on a speaker because there's. There are thousands of people all over the place. And we are across some big body of water and you see the thing when they go lift off. You. You see the light, the fire. You don't hear it. And then about several seconds later, you hear the.

[A]

Just.

[D]

It's so cool. And the crowd was going nuts.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

But the show's over pretty quick. I mean, that thing goes up.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And you were effectively.

[A]

That's it. Nothing to see here.

[D]

You are effectively watching a building leave the Earth. So all these flat Earthers who say it's all fake, I advise you to go watch one of these. You'll go, you know something? These people, these engineers really know what they're doing. But it was cool. But we do. And again, we have also us another. The second time in a couple weeks, another sperm in space study. Because this is all about. This is the first step in. Or the second step perhaps in building a base on the moon. And of course, I think some missile launchers just.

[A]

Oh, man, now you're talking oh, yeah,

[D]

that's what we got.

[A]

Strategic up higher ground.

[D]

Chinese up there with missile launchers. No, thank you. Right now, I want to talk to you about walking to the mailbox. Can it be a depressing experience? Are you the person that opens your mail right there at the mailbox or do you go inside and let it kind of?

[A]

I am not. I bring it in the house.

[D]

Just state when you open it up. If you've got a huge credit card bill and you're not going to pay it off after a while, those, I mean, the credit card companies are happy for you just to pay the minimum after a while, you've got this huge balance and you're paying maybe 20% interest on it or more. That's perfectly legal, but not such a great idea. The folks at American Financing have a pretty good solution, and this is involving the value of your home. If you're a homeowner, your house is probably worth a lot more than it was three, four or five years ago. It may be time to do a refi. You refinance the place, take some of that cash, pay off those credit cards, and you're not paying 20% interest anymore. So they sent me some just random figures of some average folks they've been dealing with lately. Their average customer is currently looking at a mortgage payment about 800 bucks a month less. So think about this. If it, if it's your situation, you might want to check this out by going to American financing.net you can even call them 866-889-2611. Once again, it's American financing.net tell them the Bob and Tom show sent you, please. You can even go to american financing.net Bob and Tom take advantage of what's happening in the American economy. With the housing situation, you might be able to pay off those credit cards and save yourself some serious cash. NMLS 182334 nmlsconsumeraccess.org APR for rates in the five start at 6.196%. For well qualified borrowers, call 866-889-2611. For details about credit costs and terms, visit American financing.net bobandtom Quick interruption. Here's a helpful tip. Thinking about updating your home. TikTok is full of simple DIY and decor ideas. Small changes, big results, all in quick, easy videos.

[A]

Download TikTok now. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Top Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. Christy Lee at the news desk. Hi, there's Pat Godwin. Hello he's over there at the music desk. There's Josh Arnold. Hi there. At the Josh Arnold desk. Yes. There's Ace Cosby here. I'm Chick McGee at the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. Hello, Tom.

[D]

Hello, Chick Magee. We've covered a lot already, but we'll continue to do so. If you're just joining us. Thank you very much. A couple quick points of order. We do have our pop up shop open if you go to bobandtom.com the all new Bob and Tom website. By the way, we've got some cool stuff going on in the world of the VIP members. You're about to get some very special stuff. But the pop up shop is up and running. We've got the new bucket hat and some. There's our cool charity T shirts there. I'm looking at them right now. They're very nice now. Also, we were talking a lot about the launch yesterday. So far so good. The. The capsule currently orbiting the Earth about to do kind of a swing around the moon.

[A]

I heard it was on track to miss the moon is what I heard.

[D]

It's not going to hit it or land on it. What? No.

[A]

Why shoot at it if we're not going to hit it?

[D]

They're testing a bunch of stuff should be including we. And we have some special stories about some of the stuff that they're going to be testing. We also have a story about

[H]

a

[D]

future reproduction in space which they're finding maybe quite difficult. So we'll find out about that.

[A]

Sperm are weightless.

[D]

Well, there's a thing about actually that's not. You're not too far off about a sperm motility.

[E]

Do you have to weight them down? Keep them.

[D]

Yeah, these are.

[A]

This is why we're not ankle weights.

[D]

In case. In case you're wondering why we are not scientists. Now you're finding out. But we'll get to that coming up later on. We were also talking about names. I was wondering why there wasn't a Pope. Jack, once. You're the Pope.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Do they call you by. Does everyone refer to you as your holiness?

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

I mean can you like if Holy father, the current Pope has buddies obviously from back in the day growing up in Chicago.

[E]

Sure.

[A]

Oh, you're big time in us. You're too big to talk now.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

I think it's a respect thing. I think you call.

[A]

Sorry Po.

[D]

I mean even if you're. If you're over there and he's probably. He's got a best friend somewhere. Is there to see. Does that guy.

[E]

What do his brothers call him? Because, you know, he's got two brothers.

[A]

You can probably something like Stinky.

[G]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

You can only imagine. Hey, you're only. Just remember the time you gassed out the car. We had to. I'm just curious. Yeah, that would be very. That would be. That would be quite awkward.

[E]

Maybe we can get him on the phone.

[D]

And then you asked Chick. We were talking about the origin of nicknames. Obviously, Peter often goes with Pete.

[E]

Sure.

[D]

Et cetera, et cetera. And Joshua. And are you. Are you technically a Joshua?

[G]

Josh. Yeah. Huh.

[D]

I'm technically a Thomas.

[E]

Right.

[D]

And Patrick. You're technically a Joseph. Joseph. Patrick. Yeah.

[A]

I think that what you're doing is against the law.

[F]

It might be in some states.

[D]

Well, there are a lot of people who don't like their name and they switch it around.

[A]

I didn't realize until I'm saying 10 years ago, I could have gone by Les all this time.

[E]

Les?

[G]

Oh, sure.

[A]

Charles.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Charles has got all kinds of Charlie. Chucky.

[E]

Les is short for Charles.

[A]

Chick is known for.

[D]

I thought Les was short for Lester.

[G]

It often is. But Les Char.

[A]

Les is right there in the end. It took me six years to figure out how to spell Charles.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

There's no picnic.

[D]

Tom, were you ever a Charles?

[A]

No.

[D]

Well, does your mother ever call you now Charles?

[E]

Were you a Charlie?

[A]

Never a Charlie, always a Chuck. And then a Chick. Hi.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

You were wondering about Margaret and Peggy.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

That's because of the Buddy Holly song Margaret Sue. Margaret sue doesn't really have the. Yeah, it's awkward. Speaking of songs, Pat, I'm looking forward to one from you. I think we may have to do a story sooner than later.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

About the religion in the world and Easter and because, you know, the religious aspect of it often.

[E]

Holy Thursday. What are you gonna do, Michael?

[A]

Roll.

[E]

And we're in Passover. It's very, very holy right now.

[D]

I know.

[C]

I'm.

[H]

I'm.

[D]

That's what I'm trying to say. But we have a letter here about the other aspect of Easter.

[A]

Did you say letter? Emails from our listeners brought to you by sleep number. Hurry in. It's your last chance to get select sleep number. Mattresses take up to 30% to 30 to 40% off the top rated sleep number best.

[D]

What are you waiting for?

[A]

Only at a sleep number store or sleepnumber.com.

[D]

this is a letter from Elliot saying, is anyone else. Elliot, is anyone else disturbed by the 100 pound chocolate bunny?

[E]

It was

[D]

that.

[A]

It was $140.

[E]

10 pounds and $140. They're selling at Costco. Yeah. Pete the Bunny. I don't know if that's short for Peter. Must be Peter Rabbit.

[D]

Is suggested. This is our letter writer. Elliot says it's recommended you beat it with a mallet or rolling pin.

[E]

Yeah. It says you're supposed to take a towel, wrap it around and smash it with a mallet or hammer or rolling pin to break it into edible pieces. Yeah.

[G]

For Everybody to share.

[E]

151 servings in this baby.

[D]

I think it's the violence that is being

[E]

promoted.

[D]

Yeah.

[G]

Oh, geez.

[D]

Come on, Elliot. Apparently a sensitive man. All right.

[A]

Well.

[D]

Finds it.

[A]

Who's out there worried about how much? How much? The poundage of a chocolate.

[G]

Yeah, no one is worried about that.

[D]

Barely.

[A]

Not a big thing.

[D]

Apparently, Elliot is. Sorry.

[E]

I thought you guys would be almost 2ft tall. And it weighs 10 pounds. That's a lot of chocolate.

[A]

You know what we should do? Maybe Elliot's onto something. Something. Let's set up some federal guidelines on how big a chocolate bunny can be. That's what we need. Get a hold of this thing before it gets out of the gate.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

My God. By God.

[D]

Now we have a letter here from Rachel. And there's an interesting aspect to Rachel's name, which we'll get to in a second. She says, good day to my favorite humans. Well, that's certainly.

[G]

Hi, Rach.

[E]

Very nice.

[D]

This weekend, I walked into my local Wegmans.

[E]

Yeah.

[G]

Good. Good story.

[F]

Great story.

[E]

Great grocery.

[A]

Wiggy Wags.

[D]

And I saw bags with something called salsa shovels. In my head, I said, oh, my gosh. Now Thomisms are becoming real products. Do we have a picture of these yet? There you go. Salsa shovels.

[G]

That's great. They're just chips.

[D]

They're just chips that are designed to shovel in the salsa.

[G]

Love it.

[A]

It's a good idea.

[E]

It is a good idea.

[D]

P.S. i purchased a bag in the air. Delightful listener to the show for the last 35 years, Rachel. R, A, C, H, A, L.

[A]

Feels like she's missing an E. A, E, L. No, Rachel's. Oh, it's her name. She can spell anyway.

[E]

Usually A, E, L. Yes, it's spelled

[D]

that way because my father made a mistake on my birth certificate. It should have been spelled R A, C, H, E, l. Yeah. After 50 years of marriage, if in a heated argument, my mother would still bring this mistake up to my father.

[G]

Wow.

[D]

Man.

[E]

That poor man.

[A]

What a lovely woman.

[E]

Yeah. Let it go, lady.

[D]

This is from Rachel in Vienna, Austria, Virginia.

[E]

Oh,

[D]

is that the one that Billy Joel has that good song about? Vienna, Virginia. Okay, you got a letter over there, chief.

[A]

Dear Boba Top show. Good morning everyone. Listener since day one. This guy says Bob is the name from Bowling Green, Kentucky. Here are some country, good old fashioned country sayings. He says, like a hog to a slop bucket. That's evidently someone who enjoys something. I guess they went after it like a hog to a slop bucket. Okay.

[D]

They went there hastily and. And with great vigor.

[A]

And this is pretty. This obvious. Well, I'll be is on here.

[G]

Oh, I love that.

[A]

I do declare. You'd mess up an anvil. Well, we've had that. You mess up an anvil with rubber hammer and you've got a 4 inch pecker and a 10 inch imagination.

[D]

It's interesting because.

[A]

Thank you, Bob.

[D]

This one also has peckers in it.

[E]

Does it?

[D]

Dear Bob and Tom. This comes to us from Jeff in Springfield, Ohio. He goes. Speaking of Tom's lack of knowledge about the phrase my dogs are barking, which I was not aware meant your feet hurt. I never heard that expression or if I had, it didn't register. My dad has a saying I think Tom will appreciate. He would always say that guy's busier than a two peckered billy goat.

[A]

Remember a buddy of ours really hit a sweet spot with the ladies and has date every night. Remember that? And he said it's like I like I need to.

[G]

He was legitimately complaining to us.

[A]

Yeah. All the women.

[D]

I know who this is. Do I not?

[G]

You know him.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

That's what I thought. Well, thank you very much for that fine letter. Oh, this is from a lady. This is from Jessica who was saying that busier than a. A two pecker billy goat. Are billy goats known for being brandy amorous? Is that a thing?

[E]

Probably, yeah.

[D]

I don't know.

[A]

I've never been around.

[E]

I've never been around goats. I like the little baby goats in pajamas. Those are fun to watch. Little pygmy goats.

[D]

I like dressing pajamas and I like

[A]

it when I see every now and then they scream on the Internet. I like that.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Are billy goats actually named William? Is. Are we getting back to our nickname hunk William Goat?

[A]

Do goats really eat anything, like tin cans and stuff?

[D]

I think so.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Right.

[E]

They'll eat anything that's weird. Remember, clear your progress.

[G]

Get a couple goats always had the tin can.

[A]

Right.

[D]

Every once in a while we'll get a. You know, some city will. They'll hire Someone with 10 goats to go clean up some place.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Like the highways.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

So medians. I have a couple Easter stories. Both of them basically say the same thing about peeps. We talked about peeps being the number one selling Easter candy. You guys all poo pooed them, saying you didn't like them. I guess. This is from Dave and from Nathan. They both suggest that you let them get stale first.

[G]

I've heard that.

[E]

Yes.

[G]

Yeah.

[E]

Fresh peeps suck. But if you let them sit out for a couple of days, then the texture.

[G]

My dad would do that. He always liked them stale. And I. It still wasn't for me.

[E]

Yeah.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

Isn't there a technique of microwaving them?

[E]

Well, they blow up because they're marshmallows.

[A]

They blow up.

[E]

Yeah. Because they're marshmallow.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Mess up your microwave.

[D]

Yeah. I was surprised. I was surprised that Peeps was in fact number one.

[E]

Well, I think people buy them just because they look cute in an Easter basket. I don't think it's pretty good.

[F]

I do.

[G]

I like.

[E]

You do?

[A]

Yeah, I do.

[E]

I don't think people really eat them.

[A]

Did you get Easter baskets when you were kids?

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

In fact, I still give Easter baskets to my kids.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

That's nice.

[G]

That's sweet.

[A]

Easter was not a big deal at all at my house.

[E]

Oh, really? In fact, they're not coming home this year. They're gonna be a couple weeks later. And she goes, well, you could still make us Easter basket.

[B]

Sure.

[E]

And then I thought, yeah, because then everything will be on sale because it'll be after Easter.

[D]

Every year I go down the basement trying to find the big sack of plastic eggs.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

And you, you know.

[A]

Really?

[D]

Yeah. And you fill the big plastic eggs with candy and.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

A couple bucks.

[A]

And do you have any Easter egg hunt at your house? Yeah, I. I bet you just. Are you wrapping it up or they still like to do it?

[D]

Oh, no, they're still into it.

[E]

Do you do them outside and in or just in. Do you use the eggs that you colored or just the plastic ones?

[D]

The big plastic ones. I also. We like to. I also. We'll do an egg coloring event.

[E]

But you don't hide those eggs.

[A]

Do you ever hide the real eggs? After you. That's what I dyed them. And you don't find them until those are three years later.

[D]

Those are on display.

[E]

On display.

[A]

See the eggs rot.

[E]

But see, the Easter bunny comes and takes those eggs and hides them. That's part of the charm.

[D]

The Easter bunny. Hit him.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

I had no idea.

[A]

All these years, I told him Santa Claus helped. Okay, whatever. All right. Wake up. It's a world.

[D]

Thank you very coming up. Sooner, you know the I'd like to do an early song from Mr. Godwin, a great new one from Pat that involves a bizarre news story about yet another celebrity auction. This time it's actually part of the celebrity's body. Yes. Oh, it's weird. And.

[A]

And you ever won an Olympic medal? A former athlete selling them on his Instagram. All the medals must go.

[D]

We got that, too. Christy Lee.

[E]

Yes, sir.

[D]

Is our car gal. Christy, we determined at one point was getting a new car every year. Nice.

[E]

Yeah. But you know what? I stopped doing that when I got my little butt. My butt. I was gonna say body in my Tucson. My Hyundai Tucson hybrid. You know, nobody likes to have to choose. And that's why America's best lineup of hybrids from Hyundai gets you the best of both worlds, like the reliable and efficient Tucson hybrid, which I love with America's best warranty. Or you can get the stylish yet capable Santa Fe hybrid with the power to navigate the toughest terrain. It's like having your cake and eating it, too, but you know better. Hybrids from Hyundai is the best of both worlds. To find out more information about your favorite hybrid, visit HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-4603 for more details. Hyundai.

[D]

Thanks.

[A]

Christian.

[D]

The word Santa Fe.

[E]

Yep.

[D]

Fe means iron, right?

[A]

Well, Fe is on the periodic table.

[D]

So with Santa Fe is that's that does that mean the saint of iron?

[A]

You know, I pride myself on making interesting observation, but you're out in the weeds, man. Way out in the weeds. You're out there in the onion field.

[D]

Does every does everybody thing in the periodic table have its own saint?

[E]

I don't think so.

[A]

Maybe we'll clear that up when we come back. Okay.

[D]

Okay. We we hope to return to the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. Hope you return, too. This is the BOB and TOM show.

[L]

Want to share a letter or comment? Our email is Bob and Tom. Bob and Tom dot com.

[E]

Hey there. I'm Paula Pan. I help people make the smartest money decisions possible. Do not ever worry about your salary. You need enough to make sure that you you aren't in a bad financial position. Once you have that, your salary becomes moot. What matters from that point forward? Upside, gains, any type of ownership stake or ownership potential.

[D]

That's the money.

[E]

Remember, you can afford anything. Just not everything afford anything. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[D]

Few minutes.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee at the news desk.

[E]

Hi, Chick.

[D]

Hi there.

[A]

There's Pat Godwin. Hello, Chick. Hello. There's Josh Arnold.

[D]

Hey.

[A]

Hey. There's Ace Cosby.

[D]

Hey, Chick.

[A]

Hey. And I am [e-mail] sports desk. Hello, Tom.

[D]

Hello, Chick. Sorry, I can't read this. Let's just, let's just move forward here. Excuse me. Forgive me. I was hoping to get a song out of Patty G over there. And this is based on a rather unusual story. In the news we always get these stories about things being being sold, auctioned off various types of memorabilia. Last week it was the giant plastic rhino.

[G]

Famous for Ace Ventura, when nature calls.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Famous for Jim Carrey crawling out the butt. And it sold, it sold for a significant amount of money.

[E]

Were you here $60,000 I think it was.

[D]

Yeah, they thought it was going to go for like 4,000.

[G]

Was it a decent shape?

[A]

Yeah, you'd have to put it in the entryway, wouldn't you? If you were at home, just front door. Absolutely.

[D]

Oh, you know, coming out of the, some Hollywood billionaire, you know, to go into the. I could, you know, I could just sort of see some party with a lot of boys. You know, you have to crawl through the anus to get in.

[A]

You just, you just leave your keys

[G]

in the anus of the rhino.

[A]

You just can't make a comment.

[D]

But the point is, I mean there's a lot of legit memorabilia. The, the whole, the, the Jim Ursay estate with, with all those amazing guitars. The Pink Floyd, David Gilmore guitar, the Jerry Garcia tiger guitar. Sold for huge money. But this is a really unusual one. We've had the things where people sell hair from presidents, but. Go ahead, Christy, read this one.

[E]

A piece of a dreadlock from Bob Marley's hair set to go up for auction. The 1 1/2 inch long lock was taken from Mr. Marley with his permission by a then 14 year old Andrea Reed during a Top of the pops performance in June of 1978. It's the first genuine piece of Bob Marley's hair to be sold in more than 20 years and expected to fetch as much as $33,000. Ms. Reed, now 62, explained how she came to possess it. Quote, you were allowed to get up on the stage where they were back then and were able to touch them I ambled up, stood right next to him and to his left side. He did a big chuckle about, but didn't say anything. I just said, can I have a piece of your dreadlock? He just went, hmm. Then I took some. It was literally just like crisps in my hand. It was crunchy. I twisted it and I twisted it and it just came off. He just laughed. Didn't mind at all. He was very cool about it. Yeah.

[G]

There's no scissors. Just twisted until it broke off.

[A]

And if he hadn't. Well, I tried to get some of his hair and he got all upset about it.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know what's with this guy.

[D]

And he had the massive dreadlock.

[E]

Sure.

[D]

So it just. It is kind of weird. Smoke it or what do you do with it?

[E]

Put it in a shadow box and hang it on your wall.

[A]

She kept it and sold it. I think we.

[E]

She's going to sell it. Yeah.

[G]

Some weed mogul.

[A]

You want some smoke it, don't you?

[G]

Somebody who owns a huge weed farm

[D]

to buy it and do a DNA test on it. Because didn't he have 12 kids at least?

[F]

Many, many kids.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Well, there was Farley, Marley and Mickey Wiggy.

[G]

And don't forget Marley. Marley.

[A]

Marley.

[D]

Marley. Charlie.

[A]

Marley, Charlie. Marley.

[D]

Begins and ends with that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah Marley Marley.

[D]

They called him Deuce But, Pat, this reminded me. You did a delightful Easter tribute yesterday based on the fact that you were indeed an altar boy.

[F]

I was. Have you guys been to Catholic church?

[G]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Nope.

[F]

It's pretty crazy. A lot of moves. There's a lot of moves involved and many people aren't going these days. So the Catholic Church is using new methods. Folk mass, your rock and roll mass. And the reggae mass. This is the reggae mass at a Catholic church. Stand up, kneel down Sit back in your pew Come on now kneel down Stand up Sit now for a few why just follow the priest now he knows what to do he's like an aerobics instructor. When you don't have a clue he says now stand up Kneel down Get in all your steps Come on now Kneel down Stand up it's rough on my hips Come on now Knees hurt, joints sore, muscles tight and rear Easter Sunday See you all next year.

[D]

The reggae mass.

[E]

The older the people get, the more they don't kneel anymore.

[D]

Absolutely true.

[E]

Yeah.

[G]

Which is fine.

[E]

Yeah, they kind of do the lean.

[D]

Oh, you're allowed to do that?

[A]

Yeah, sure.

[E]

Have you kneeled lately?

[A]

It's tough, but they got the don't they have the padded.

[E]

It doesn't matter.

[A]

Oh, it looks really comfy.

[E]

It's not.

[G]

No. The old people don't need to be doing it.

[D]

No, that's. That's permissible.

[G]

If you can.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

You can just sit there.

[B]

Well.

[E]

Or you get where you're kneeling.

[A]

Don't kneel. You are forsaken by God.

[E]

That is not true.

[A]

We all know it.

[D]

Have you ever counted. Counted up? How many is there? A standard number of stand up, kneel down things. And it's a whole half hour of

[E]

it, not really the kneel down parts, usually during the consecration. And then it's not as much as

[G]

you think a wedding can be.

[D]

I know.

[J]

Yeah.

[D]

I went to. I went to a wedding. I felt like a jack in the box.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Long siege. Well, thank you, Pat. That's a wonderful song. Thank you. Nice little tribute to Bob Marley. It'll be really interesting to see what this thing goes for.

[C]

For.

[D]

I. I think.

[E]

You don't think it'll go for $33,000?

[A]

That's what they want.

[G]

Seems high.

[D]

Might go for more.

[E]

You think?

[D]

You never know. I would imagine.

[A]

Wouldn't a dispensary or whatever put it in shadow box right. Right behind them.

[D]

Maybe some billionaire will buy it and use it as a fake mustache and go as Cheech Marin.

[G]

Hello, I am Cheech Marin.

[D]

I.

[G]

Sir, that's not at all what he. Are you doubting that I am Chee Man?

[A]

Oh, no. Chong will be along in a moment.

[D]

Coming up, more of your letters. We have three world records. Am I right today?

[E]

Three.

[A]

World Record Mania today. I've never been happier.

[D]

We have a weird Be careful what you ask for. Pop Tart update.

[G]

All right?

[D]

And it's one of those things you're going to say to yourself. They just thought of this.

[A]

Don't you think that's the truest truism? Be careful what you wish for, you know?

[G]

Sure can be.

[D]

Yeah, I like. I like the phrase we can do it, but should we do it?

[A]

Oh, Jeff Goldblum. Yeah, that's right.

[D]

Yeah, that's.

[B]

That.

[D]

That's a good one. Also, we have a couple of interesting side notes to our current NASA mission happening. One involving sperm in space. And we've got a couple more letters about horses. We do have a horse world record, but we've had a lot of. Can you get a DUI in a horse? The answer is a big yes.

[A]

Well, don't tell people we have a horse world record now. They know what's going to happen.

[D]

They don't know what it is. Well, they might think it's anatomical. They might think it's the world's largest horse, the world's smallest horse.

[A]

I can't see anyone guessing what it actually is.

[G]

The world's only whistling horse.

[D]

Oh, that'd be a good one. We don't have that, though.

[A]

What happened to the diving horses? Remember the diving? I would imagine thousands of feet in the air and there weren't so much diving as being pushed. I think. Yeah, probably.

[G]

I think that killed more horses than D.W. griffith. Probably.

[D]

I would imagine that there was a

[E]

trail of maybe where PETA got started.

[D]

Yeah, I might have joined if I'd seen that. We're going to return to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This will still be the Bob and Tom Show.

[L]

More of the show is on the way. You can find us on X at Bob and Tom, or you can email us at Bob [e-mail].

[D]

great.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're at the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee at the news desk.

[E]

Hi.

[A]

Hi. There's Pat Godwin.

[D]

Hello.

[A]

There's.

[D]

Hello.

[A]

There's Ace Cosby. We're having a good time. You caught us. We're partying. I'm Chick McGee at the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. And we've got emails from our listeners. We've got a couple specifically for me. This is starting to catch on.

[D]

Okay, good. I. I have a couple I can't read, so maybe we should do a separate segment sometime.

[G]

I believe in you.

[E]

If you can't read them, how are you gonna read them?

[D]

I mean, I can read them, but I just can't read them on the radio.

[E]

Well, then how would anyone hear them?

[A]

I don't want to live in a country where you're telling me what to read on the radio.

[G]

Too filthy?

[D]

Are they too politically incorrect?

[A]

Well, these are. These are specifically Chick emails, and you'll understand. This is from Johnny.

[G]

Hi, Johnny.

[A]

Hey, Chick. Going to work today. Saw a great big cow. See that? This is Chick email right here. And here's another one. Good morning, crew. Brian in Iowa. Just flossed. Brush my teeth. Have a great day.

[E]

Thanks, Brian. Yeah, he's amused.

[D]

Brian and Johnny, Is it gonna be a new trend?

[A]

I hope so. Having fun over here with nothing.

[D]

This is interesting. We've been talking about. I'll talk to you, Christy.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Hang in there, darling.

[D]

We've been talking about. We've been talking about googly eyes.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

And How?

[D]

There was the scientific experiment where they put googly eyes on various food items that had kept the seagulls away.

[E]

Correct.

[D]

Then we learned that there. There were. They were painting eyes on cattle in places in Africa.

[E]

To keep Botswana. Yes.

[D]

To keep the lions away. This comes to us from. Wow. Oh, I see. From Spokane. This guy's got an unusual name. Oh, his real name is Randy. Sorry.

[G]

Randy from Spokane.

[D]

Spokane.

[A]

I bit the teachers. Let it press.

[G]

How could I forget?

[D]

Did you ever see that thing where the lead singer of Pearl Jam is singing with the Doors at the Rock and Roll hall of Fame?

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It's wonderful.

[D]

That is awesome.

[A]

Eddie.

[D]

Eddie.

[C]

Better.

[D]

Yeah. Okay, here we go. Randy writes as a company called Coyote Vest. They make an accessory to protect dogs. Looks like a huge pair of eyes. They're called Hawkeyes, meant to deter predator birds from snatching small pets.

[G]

Oh, wow.

[D]

Then he goes on to tell a story that I'm not going to repeat.

[E]

How many dogs is he.

[G]

My Chihuahua farm has been decimated.

[D]

I will just give it. I'll give you. I'll just give you key words. You can put it together. Bride, owl, dog park. Yorkie. Leave it right there.

[A]

Oh, my goodness.

[G]

All right. That Yorkie may have fed some owlets. Do you remember?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

The store. I was talking to these guys that were. We were. They were working on tower radio, not radio towers. They were working on high tension wire towers. Because we were talking about the fact that there was an eagle's nest not too far from here in one of these towers. It was really cool. And this guy said, yeah, they would. When they would be working on these towers, every once in a while there'd be an eagle's nest in one of them. And they would find things at the bottom of the tower, and that included small dog collars.

[G]

So you can see the really troubling item was the Dora the Explorer backpack.

[D]

That is.

[G]

That is a big eagle.

[D]

I. I still think one of my very favorite stories. I want to say, South Carolina, where they captured a huge alligator and he had the tag of a dog. And they tracked the guy down.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

He'd been there, like 20 years earlier.

[G]

Yeah.

[K]

I didn't.

[E]

We.

[G]

We all kind of agreed. You don't track the guy down. You let him think.

[D]

Yeah.

[G]

That that dog was found by a loving family.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

That dog is living on a farm.

[C]

Yes.

[G]

Yes.

[D]

Yeah. You don't. Yeah. Through the digestive tract of a large. Yeah, you're right.

[A]

Dear Bob and Tom show. I've been surprised that Tom did not remember Nor did any other listeners mention that Gilligan's Island. Gilligan, played by Bob Denver, of course, gets hit on the head and his fillings and his teeth become a radio receiver. Do you remember that episode?

[D]

I do not. But that once again.

[A]

Then, of course, he gets hit on the head again. And no radio.

[E]

Yeah. So they can't get rescued. Gosh darn it.

[A]

This Scott from Cincinnati continues Uncle Arthur on Bewitched, who I believe was Paul. Yes. He used to say, my dogs are barking or my feet are killing me. And while he's saying that, of course he makes a mistake of casting a magic spell during those saying, my dogs are barking. And then his feet turn into dogs barking.

[D]

I've never seen that.

[A]

And then there's feet. I have guns and they're trying to shoot him because my feet are killing me.

[D]

That's. That's entertainment.

[A]

You tell me. You tell me Bewitch didn't win a couple Emmys.

[D]

Or you want to sit back and watch Madison. But no, no, I don't know. I could watch this great show. Well, thank you very much.

[A]

How about that?

[D]

Now, we have a number of other topics to get to today. What's coming up in sports? Can give me a little bit of a teaser?

[A]

Well, we got one more letter here. Dear Bob and Tom Show. For all the Saquon Barkley. Barkley. Look, I want you to say that again. No, you. No, no, you weren't.

[E]

Yes, I was.

[A]

You would. You would have served. You had served if you hadn't said anything. Now say it exactly the way you said it.

[B]

It.

[E]

Juan Barkley.

[G]

Yeah, Come on. No, no. There was no enthusiasm.

[E]

Try it again.

[D]

No, Chick. I was. Chick. Delivered it in sort of a parenthetical way. It was a throwaway. It's on you, buddy.

[A]

All right, let's say we can all do better, okay?

[D]

Start at the beginning.

[A]

For all the Saquon Barkley.

[G]

Oh, no, idiots.

[D]

You just say Quan Barkley.

[A]

It's all right.

[H]

It's all right.

[G]

It's been a while.

[A]

We're gearing up here.

[D]

The Guy leaves for 10 days complaining about his belly. Can't remember the basics. Back to you.

[A]

Say Quan Barkley and show hey, Ohtani.

[G]

Zero enthusiasm from Tom.

[D]

By the way, that doesn't work.

[A]

There's a new picture in the Angel.

[D]

If the phrase. If his name were, say, hey, Ohtani, then we'd say, hey, Ohtani.

[G]

No, we'd say, hey, Ohtani.

[A]

Show. Hey, Ohtani.

[E]

Hey, Ohtani works.

[A]

You're just a turd. Okay?

[D]

Whoa. Names will never Hurt me.

[G]

Well, maybe the stapler will.

[D]

Coming up. We do have.

[A]

Son of a.

[E]

Don't. Don't.

[D]

We do have turds. In the air. In the news,

[A]

There's a new picture for the angels.

[B]

Okay.

[G]

He.

[A]

His name is. You say Kikuchi.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I love this son of a gun.

[D]

You've got to put him on your Google search. Every time anything happens with this guy, I want it. In sports. You say kakuchi. I like.

[A]

You say coochie.

[G]

I say, wait a minute.

[A]

I'm gonna sneak up on you with it.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

You say kakuchi.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

How does he spell it?

[A]

That's fun. Well, I don't think he's from around here, but it's spelled Y U. S E I. That's your first name. And then K I. K U C H I.

[D]

The name like that, I'm surprised he doesn't work at npr. That is a.

[A]

This comes from us. Comes to us from Tim in Porterville, California. Oh, not Potterville.

[K]

Porter.

[G]

Porterville.

[A]

Sorry.

[D]

There you go. Tom, this is an interesting letter. This is something we've talked about.

[G]

Oh, it looks so long, dude. I just got a glimpse.

[D]

No, I'll give you the short version.

[A]

Oh, I bet you don't.

[D]

This is from Mr. Meeker.

[A]

Ralph Meeker, great actor.

[E]

Meeker. Meeker.

[D]

Mr. Meeker. He goes, this has been bugging me for a long time. The other day, I'm driving down the road, I decided to count how many pickup trucks went by with nothing in the pickup truck.

[G]

All right, why not?

[A]

This guy is. Wants to be your best friend. You know, I was driving, I counted

[D]

17 pickups in a row. Every one of them had nothing in the back. What the hell is going on? Steve, I'm. I'm with you.

[E]

What?

[G]

Steve, I'm with you. This guy really did hit.

[A]

So what is his point? If you're gonna have a pickup, you should always have something in the back. You don't have the option of driving around the back.

[D]

There are a lot of people, guys that have pickups that have never had anything in the back, and they don't want anything in the back because it might scratch the bed. I have a friend, he lives right around the corner from. Got this. And it is an awesome pickup. It was one of those special editions. And he had to know a guy that worked at the dealer. Blah, blah, blah.

[G]

I hate your neighbor.

[I]

He hate everything about you.

[D]

He'd had this thing. He'd had this thing for like nine months. And he come up, he goes, hey, this is really cool. I Get to something. I've got to get a Christmas tree this weekend. It's the first time I'm going to have something in the back of my pickup. I know what you're talking about, Steve.

[E]

A lot of guys like pickup trucks. Your other neighbor has a really cool pickup truck. The one down at the end of the.

[D]

A bunch of my neighbors.

[A]

Doesn't it sound like fun? Just take a day and go shop for a pickup truck and buy yourself a pickup truck.

[D]

Well, the girls drive around. The girls got stuck in Atlanta before last. It's a long story. But rather than wait for another plane the next day, they just rented. They went to a car rental place and everybody else that was stuck had rented all the cars. So they got a pickup truck.

[A]

Nice.

[D]

And as soon as they got back, they wanted me to go get one.

[A]

One?

[G]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

They loved it. The problem is it only seats five at the most. Unless you can't have people.

[E]

Well, you only have four people in your family currently. I. Last I checked.

[D]

Oh, there's more. I mean, you know, they have friends.

[E]

More.

[A]

You've got a child you don't. Haven't told us about, don't you?

[D]

No, they have friends. You did you want to, you know.

[E]

Well, you can still. You can still take four. You can put Finn up front now. She's.

[G]

The parents of their friends. Allow them to ride with you.

[D]

That's very funny. If you get one of those caps, can you have them? Just hang back there.

[E]

Remember those days? Remember when you used to be able to ride in the back of the pickup truck?

[A]

I went out one night.

[E]

It was so fun.

[A]

You can believe this or not, but I went out with my church group one evening, and we were Christmas carols in the back of a pickup truck. And someone hit me right in the face with a snowball. I mean, just tag me bloody nose, man. First Noel. Oh, man, it hurt. You know, you're standing. You know, you're just cruising, standing up on the cab. Oh, God rest ye Mary whack.

[D]

Now, I do have two buddies that have pickup trucks that I borrow quite often.

[A]

And there I would. I would guess that they would contribute to you buying a pickup truck. That might be. That might be one of their.

[G]

He's a guy, though. That'll fill up the town.

[D]

I would do it with Gunner every Christmas, and. And I think Gunner knew it was coming because. I don't know. He has an F150 and I don't know the exact nature of it. The. The size of the gas tank. All I Know is a few years ago, I borrowed it when gas was even more than it is now. We hit over the hundred mark. So I think he was just. I think he was, like, putting a gallon in every couple of days, doing. Tom's going to want to borrow the pickup for the Christmas tree. He's going to burn for the Christmas tree. That's my old house. I had a peak ceiling, so I needed the bigger tree. But anyway, maybe I should. It might be fun. Get a pickup. What kind of. What should I get? The Ram.

[E]

Tough guys have the Ram go with the Silverado.

[G]

Did you ride people's asses on the road? That's.

[E]

That's what Dodge Rams do.

[A]

Yeah, whatever. Whatever truck you get, you have to get Calvin and Hobbs and pissing on.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Like, if you get a Chevy, get one piston on the Ford and vice versa.

[D]

Do they. Can I get truck nuts? Is it cool to put truck nuts on a regular suv?

[C]

Sure.

[F]

That's funny.

[E]

Is that allowed SUV nuts?

[A]

Do they make truck nuts for the rearview mirror? That seems like a natural.

[G]

I bet they do.

[A]

So you can reach up there? Yeah, why not?

[G]

I'm sure I saw one on a school bus.

[A]

That's right.

[D]

Well, coming up. Christy, what have you. Can you give me a couple of teasers over there?

[E]

Coming up, we'll have an update on Artemis 2's mission to the moon. Kind of. We have news about Pop Tarts. Everybody loves to start their day. And if you missed it yesterday, we have an update for you on Molly, the dog that was left behind on the waterfall in New Zealand that was rescued. It's a great story.

[G]

Molly the collie.

[E]

Molly the collie. And the reuniting video is the cutest thing you've ever seen.

[D]

What interested me about that story is it's the second time in a couple weeks we've had the technology using the

[E]

heat sensor, thermal imaging.

[D]

Yeah, they're. I mean, obviously.

[E]

Remember we had Chesney, the kangaroo that got out. You found him that way.

[D]

And they said in the heat sensor, it looked like a dinosaur. And they. Oh, that's. That's the. That's. That's the crazy loose kangaroo.

[G]

You know, if you're on waterfalls, they say, don't chase waterfalls. And if you're chasing anything, you're gonna want some support in your shot.

[E]

Yes, you are.

[D]

Do you mean like orange insoles?

[G]

That's exactly what I mean. Look, feet.

[A]

Why aren't you out shopping for a pickup truck?

[G]

Get tired. Arches collapse. Heels ache. Knees complain. Lower backs tighten up. Most people Just blame their age. Well, I'm 26. I guess this is how it is now.

[A]

No, nothing downhill. Right down.

[G]

It could very well be your foundation. And that's where orangeinsouls.com comes in. They help maintain alignment as your feet and legs fatigue, reducing all that stress on your knees, hips and lower back. They've got deep heel cups that cradle your heels and absorb shock naturally.

[K]

What are you waiting for, Sol?

[G]

I've got this.

[A]

Love that guy. You like me? I love him.

[G]

Saul. Saul, please.

[D]

I don't care for work.

[G]

They're durable enough for work boots, comfortable enough for everyday wear. They're built for real people. That's you out there doing real things. Serving, teaching, working on construction sites.

[D]

Polishing the back of your pickup truck so it doesn't get scratched.

[G]

Washing your car. Exactly. If you've ever said, my feet are killing me, this is for you.

[J]

My feet are killing me.

[G]

Salvatore. Visit orangeinsouls.com order more and save with Orange Insouls bundle packs. And be sure to use this promo code. Sol, what's the promo code? Bob and Todd at checkout to receive $5 off your total order plus free shipping in the USA. That's orangeinsouls.com promo code.

[D]

Bob and Todd. Thank you very much. I love my orange insoles. You will too. And I'll remind you, orange insoles said. I know your bracket is broken, but you could still win that 4K TV. Check out the details on the all new Bob andTom website, bobandtom.com while you're there. We got the Pop up shop open. We got some cool stuff, including the bucket hat. So that that's on your shopping list. Your bucket list can be complete.

[A]

And here are some words that rhyme with bucket. Chuck it. Yes.

[D]

Suck it, Hockett Puckett. Wait a minute. What?

[G]

Oh, Gary Pocket.

[D]

Yeah,

[A]

I'm now in jail. You're so cute. And you've got. Well, it's a new record. A new world record. Congratulations, Tom.

[D]

We're coming right back. Coming up, comedian DJ Dangler, comedian Al Jackson, comedian Tom Mabe. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[G]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee's at the news desk.

[I]

Hello.

[G]

Pat Godwin's at the music desk.

[F]

Desk.

[G]

Hey there, Joshy Chick McGee sitting at the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. There's Ace Cosby. Hello. I am Josh Arnold. And there's Tom.

[D]

I'm over here Working on something.

[E]

What are you working on?

[D]

An adaptation of Dickens, A Christmas Carol.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

In which Jacob Marley is portrayed by Bob Marley. It's kind of a reggae thing.

[A]

Oh, all right.

[D]

We'll see how it goes. Yeah, the. The ghosts of Christmas Past or all Rastafarians. And one of them is Marcus Garvey. It's very complicated. We'll get. Are you back now? Oh, there. There he is, joining us in the studio, rolling his eyes. It's Chick McGee. Good to see you, sir. That's good. That's a good color.

[A]

Very, very hip. Marcus Garvey, all right. Yeah, that's exactly right.

[D]

Cracked open a book.

[A]

Yeah, that's right.

[D]

What have you got over there?

[A]

What have I got over here? Los Angeles Rams all pro wide receiver Puka Nukua, which means new pouch, has announced that he will be checking into a rehab facility. He is getting a hold of his life and he's apparently made the decision that, yes, I'm going to go into a rehab facility.

[G]

Okay, best of luck.

[A]

I believe the Hawaiian word for rehab is maola. Maola for puka. He evidently likes the drink, Tom.

[D]

Ah, well, good luck to him. Hope he does well.

[A]

That's exactly right. Oliver Rue, the 7 foot 9 center. You heard me. And he's. I don't know if we have a picture of him or not, but he's reasonably proportioned. I don't know what he weighs, but I'm gonna say £400. And he looks solid. Geez, he has guard that he entered the portal from Florida Gators. He had to duck play somewhere else.

[E]

I'd be grabbing his garage.

[G]

I'd be grabbing his crotch.

[E]

Well, you're right there.

[D]

Not grab Chrissy, you'd be. You'd be nosing it.

[G]

Yeah, the crotch might be grabbing you.

[E]

Yeah, but you could elbow him.

[A]

I mean, 7 foot 9, 7ft 9 inches, raise the bucket, he can stand flat footed and touch the rim. I'll let that settle in.

[G]

That's amazing.

[A]

He is one of the tallest players college basketball history, a fan favorite in Gainesville for the Gators, and despite limited playing time, his size and presence national attention. And he has entered the transfer. The transfer portal. That means he's going to play at another college basketball program next season.

[G]

Okay.

[A]

Because it's. Let's go out there and win one for the Gators or. Or whoever. Possibly Arkansas or UCLA or whoever it might be.

[G]

I guess we know who's cleaning the coach's gutters.

[A]

Oh, I'll get off there and clean them again. So have you seen this guy on the court next to like 6, 8,

[G]

6, 9 players and he is alarming.

[A]

It's not the 6, 8 players are looking up, looking up at him going, you're a tall dude, man.

[D]

Yeah, I always tell the same story. We were all in the Bahamas and I remember walking down to the casino and someone said, manute bowl is here. And went where? Then I looked out and it was pretty obvious there's a guy two feet taller than everybody else. This guy, it'll be interesting to see what happens. Is any good?

[A]

Well, he's, you know, he's young and he's trying to grow into his body.

[G]

Yeah, I was gonna say it's got to be a little tough.

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

You know, you're gangly and I was

[A]

just gonna say the word gangly. Exactly right. Seven, nine, navigating all that. Hey, look what time it is.

[E]

What time is it?

[A]

World record mania. Here we go. A horse, of course, showing in North Carolina. He has skills, Everybody. He performed 38 tricks in under three minutes, earning the Guinness World Record in the process.

[G]

38?

[E]

What kind of trick?

[A]

38 tricks in. He doesn't juggle, Gringo.

[G]

It's close up magic.

[A]

You'll notice a lot of people say, do I have any change? Yes, I do. That's the horse talking.

[D]

I'm enjoying it very much.

[G]

May I borrow a gentleman's handkerchief?

[A]

Oh, too late. I already have it. Oh. Gringo is a 19 year old white mustang that's a car trained by his owner, Ms. Lauren Zepeda. Perform tricks including dancing, kicking a ball.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

Waving a flag, ringing a bell and playing a keyboard with his nose.

[D]

So one would think if you would go to the Guinness World Record website, they'd have the movie of this.

[E]

The movie.

[G]

Sure. Some footage.

[E]

Video.

[D]

Did we find one? I. Oh, well, there we go.

[A]

There he is.

[G]

Beautiful horse.

[D]

There we go.

[A]

Okay, 1, 2, 3.

[D]

Picking up a flag, beating it.

[G]

Oh, he waved the flag. All right. Now he's. Oh, yeah, he.

[A]

Oh, he's performing tricks all right.

[D]

He's getting up, getting up in a bucket.

[G]

Oh, now he's spontaneously dumping. Oh, yeah, that's a trick.

[A]

Well, you can see he's wang. Yeah. That is a boy horse, isn't it?

[D]

Oh, dear.

[G]

Yeah, with the blackest penis.

[A]

Wow, look at that. And the whitest horse, isn't that interesting, is that.

[D]

Did they put something on that as a shield or something?

[G]

No, that's his weane.

[J]

What do you mean?

[A]

It couldn't be more plain. It's a penis. Good lord.

[G]

Oh, no, it's kind of out.

[F]

It got bigger.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, it's bigger.

[D]

Oh, it's rolling over.

[A]

This is a clever horse.

[G]

Trainer is cute.

[D]

Oh, look, that trainer better watch yourself doing a handshake. Oh, he's ringing the bell.

[A]

She holds the bell, too.

[E]

I think that might have been the keyboard.

[G]

That was a piece of cake.

[A]

Is it pixelated out now?

[G]

He stepped on the piece of cake and then she fed him some.

[D]

Oh, okay. That's fun.

[A]

Jason, can we go back to when it got big?

[G]

Yeah, I want to see that big old horse.

[A]

Dude.

[D]

Gringo. That is one impressive feat.

[A]

Great, great little feet.

[G]

And I love those coats that she was just wearing. The denim with the wool sort of the shirt.

[D]

What a cool guy.

[A]

Those are unreasonably expensive. I. I think you see her, you don't care for.

[D]

Okay, let's move forward here. Hang on.

[A]

I'm. Look at the trainer's ass. Oh, there's the penis again.

[G]

Oh, yep, yep.

[D]

Is that. Isn't there some kind of, like, coat over it?

[E]

There's no.

[G]

There's not a coat. What's baffling you? Just the fact that it's so black.

[A]

See, Tom?

[D]

No, because the horse is white everywhere,

[G]

but probably not its skin.

[E]

No, not underneath.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

You see Tom running a meeting at a gazebo somewhere at 1900. He's protesting the fact that horses are walking around with their penises exposed. We have something on it. It's the Holy Bible.

[D]

I'm surprised they didn't pixelate that thing. Might have taken just too much energy,

[A]

baby. What would. Hey, what would the new character Saul think of that?

[E]

We are children.

[D]

That's a hang down.

[A]

Wow.

[D]

Well, speaking of hang downs.

[A]

Wow.

[D]

You would have thought you'd written that. What a segue.

[E]

What?

[D]

The next world. The next world record is for something called the hang down.

[A]

Yes, Tom, that's correct. The hang down. Thank you for helping me. A woman from Ohio has become the oldest woman to hold the so called dead hang position. I'm not sure what this is. Never heard.

[G]

You are literally hanging. Hanging from a bar without tensing up

[A]

or, you know, according to reports. Ann Creel. S. Selston.

[G]

They say it's so good for you.

[A]

90 years old. 90 and 231 days old. She held her body weight in a suspended position for a total of 2 minutes, 52 seconds.

[D]

And it's kind of. I'm sorry, it's called. Is it called the hang down or the dead hang? Dead hang. Are her feet up in the air?

[G]

Yeah, yeah.

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

There she is. It's like she's about to do a pull up.

[G]

That's great for her.

[D]

And she's saying. She's saying I can't. But yeah, Isn't that cool?

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

Just hang in there for three minutes.

[A]

I thought she had bell bottoms on

[D]

those touching the ground. Those are. Those are her boobs.

[G]

Oh. I was wondering why her and I have a. She only had one toe on each foot.

[A]

I have a follow up question. We know for sure. Someone checks. She's alive, right? She's hanging.

[D]

Okay. The dead hang is an unfortunate name.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

But dead hung, of course. That would be John Dillinger. Famously the.

[G]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[D]

Photograph. Very impressive. Have you seen that, Chris?

[A]

Stupid.

[E]

Yes, that's right.

[A]

Triple header. A car brand named Cupra C U P R A has broken the Guinness World record for the largest gathering of body painted people.

[D]

Now, I think you may find this disappointing. Did you get a picture of this, Jason? You'll notice it's.

[G]

They look cool.

[D]

It's all guys.

[G]

Yeah, but that's some cool body paint.

[D]

Yeah, that's your take on this.

[A]

So they're not.

[G]

Look, I mean, look at how cool design it is.

[A]

So they're not tattoos or anything. They're just painted their bodies as a. For expression.

[E]

I thought it'd be like superheroes.

[G]

I mean, there's a girl in the back there and. But there aren't enough.

[D]

Yeah, I thought it'd be really sexy.

[A]

Oh, look, that one guy in the back has a penis.

[G]

Well. Oh, yeah. It might be sexy for Christy.

[E]

Yeah, they all in great shape. Yeah, they do. They look like superheroes.

[G]

Yeah, they're sort of Wakanda esque.

[D]

Oh, okay. Okay. Well, I was just hoping there'd be more ladies.

[A]

498 participants showed up to the track at Autodromo Hermanos Rodriguez in Mexico City. Something about brothers and cars to get painted by the brand's body artists.

[G]

Okay, do we know how hot she was? Is that why we're seeing mostly guys?

[A]

In order to qualify for the record, all attendees had to be doused in a professional standard body paint. Minimum coverage of the body, 30%.

[G]

With that, how easy is that to wash off?

[E]

I don't know.

[A]

I hope it's not oil based.

[D]

And those guys are really covered.

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Okay. I've never heard of this car.

[G]

Oh, it's some foreign.

[E]

I'm sure if it's in Mexico, it's a Mexican brand.

[D]

Oh, here it is. The Cupra is a Spanish performance oriented automotive brand.

[A]

Is that right?

[D]

Owned by Volkswagen and apparently it's an ev.

[E]

It's really good looking.

[D]

Yeah, I was gonna say it. Yeah, it's a pretty cool looking suv. Do they. Are they. Do they sell those in America? Let me ask our electric car guy. No. Okay, very good. We don't know the answer. Get on that way.

[E]

I'm looking.

[G]

Why would we know the answer? Are you upset that we don't know the answer?

[D]

Not you guys. I knew you wouldn't.

[E]

You are just.

[D]

I think it's actually.

[A]

What good does it do to ask a question like that on the air? You make him feel stupid. You make us feel stupid. Feel stupid. You should feel stupid for. Very funny.

[G]

You should know he's stupid.

[E]

It's a cool logo. That's why they look like superheroes. Because that logo is on that body.

[D]

That is a great logo.

[E]

Yeah, it really is a cool logo.

[A]

It could be a car. It could be a power tool.

[E]

It could be anything. You're right.

[D]

Yeah. So I don't know. I don't know if they're available in the usa.

[A]

I think they are actually.

[E]

I'm on their website.

[D]

Not available. It says this is Volkswagen, sporty Spanish brand. They plan to us launch by the end of the decade. But they're not available apparently.

[E]

So I don't get them in the

[D]

uk but they look. That's kind of a cool looking car. So they're getting some publicity with their world record.

[G]

Could you buy one and have it shipped over here?

[E]

Probably.

[D]

Yeah. But it would have to pass the. There are all kinds of emissions and other other things.

[A]

Quarantine for six weeks.

[D]

Yeah, you don't want to get your dog near it, you know.

[A]

Yeah, there might be something in the seats. You don't know.

[G]

You don't know.

[A]

By the way, is it better safe than sorry?

[D]

Is it legal to have a dog in the back of a pickup truck while it's moving?

[G]

Even if it is?

[J]

Yes.

[D]

Yeah, I know. I don't do that. Oh yeah. My, my. An old buddy of mine, Sean Head, if you're familiar with i4 near Orlando,

[E]

put him in a crate back there that.

[D]

No, no, he wasn't in the crate. He was an Irish setter.

[E]

Oh, no.

[D]

Now he's squash. Okay, we're going to move forward here. What's coming up in sports?

[A]

Less and less, Tom. Less and less. Possibly so much. So there might be news coming up.

[D]

How about that?

[E]

Monkeys.

[A]

But first some dogs.

[E]

All coming up.

[A]

I got a song for you real quick.

[G]

Right.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Tom thinks this was recorded this morning. Barney Google had a Horse. Yeah, name was Spark Plug. That's exactly right.

[D]

And I was just wondering yesterday if you, if or if the Google Corporation had to get the rights to the name Google because Barney Google was created in 1919. But they did not, it turns out, because Barney Google was not really doing much in the world, in the, in the world of search, if you will.

[A]

What if though, like Barney Google III is living somewhere and it's just crotchety old bastard. I'll shoo their pants off. You Google dead queer, buddy.

[G]

Barney. Barney, you have. This is why we keep you inside.

[A]

And you got now Tom Angers America. You see, he's, hi, buddy.

[D]

He's an unreasonable old man.

[G]

And you hide behind your characters.

[A]

You were just, you were simply reporting what you had heard.

[J]

Correct?

[A]

Yes, I understand.

[D]

Certainly. Coming up, we have, we have comedian DJ Dangler, comedian Al Jackson, comedian Tom Mabe. Tom is a part of the celebration at the Caravan in Louisville. The place where the Caravan is located is being, I guess, undone. It's kind of a little mall and so they're gonna, they're gonna say goodbye for a while.

[A]

It's becoming undone. We have to play the Guess who

[G]

loves why that is.

[A]

Great song, great tune.

[D]

In any event, we'll look forward to seeing Tom and maybe we can feature something from Tom before we do that. Also coming up, one of those things. You're gonna hear it and go, this is the first time they've thought of this. You'll find out what I'm talking about. It does involve a breakfast, semi, food. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[L]

Got a comment to share? Text us at 888-262-8661. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast. From the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Christy Lee at the news desk. Hello, there's Pat Godwin having a sip of coffee.

[D]

Coffee.

[A]

Hey, Chick out a cup of 30 weight. There's Josh Arnold.

[G]

Hi there.

[A]

Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick [e-mail] sports desk. It's time for news. Tom, before we get to that, I

[D]

want to do a random walk through my desk.

[G]

Yeah, sure, why not?

[D]

I'm.

[A]

I miss the short lived show we used to do.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Where Josh would walk over, pick up something and look at you and say, tell me about this. I don't know why you haven't gone.

[G]

Oh, all right, well, let's think.

[D]

He's the host. John, you can grab something. I just thought I. I've have a mess of papers here, and I haven't really.

[A]

He's picking up. He's choosing an item. He's looking. Josh is looking. He's looking. He's behind him. He's looking back now. Refocus.

[D]

This is weird. I don't want him kissing me.

[A]

Refocused. He's still searching.

[D]

I have a corner. Oh, you're going deep.

[A]

Yeah, why not?

[D]

Okay. I don't know what that is.

[A]

Oh, there you go.

[G]

Tell me about this.

[A]

Oh,

[D]

I've never seen this before.

[A]

Well, that'll. That'll make the explanation all the more wonderful.

[D]

Oh, this is cool.

[E]

Oh, boy.

[G]

What do you got there?

[D]

It would appear to be a gavel.

[G]

A gavel?

[A]

Is it like a costume of some sort?

[F]

Oh, the judge.

[D]

I've gotta get.

[E]

Ah, here, come to judge.

[D]

Gotta get my scissors. Can you. If you can find the Here, come to judge music for me.

[G]

Oh, that's a Ziploc bag.

[A]

Scissors he's opening with. He doesn't want to cut his hands. He almost sliced his finger off on a piece of toothbrush.

[D]

It appears to be a pubic wig. Oh, no, this is for the head.

[E]

Oh, it's a.

[G]

It's a sort of a George Washington looking type powdered wig.

[E]

What the.

[A]

I did not.

[G]

You may have set the gavel on a buzzer.

[D]

Did I do that?

[G]

Yeah.

[H]

Yes.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I don't have that over here.

[D]

I, I. Oh, that was.

[G]

The dryer's done.

[D]

No, that was the gavel hitting this thing.

[A]

Well, don't.

[G]

That's. Let's not.

[A]

Can you turn it down? What am I saying? I have a volume.

[D]

Okay. And then it's got a gavel. Is it a plastic bitter thing?

[G]

Oh, it's got the thing you. So give us your best gavel pound.

[A]

You know, a.

[D]

What is that called?

[E]

Okay.

[D]

What is the platform? That one hits a. Yeah, well, you hit.

[G]

Did you see how he.

[F]

He hit on the side.

[G]

He hit it with. On the side of the gavel. He did not use the knob.

[A]

You hit it with the handle of the gavel.

[D]

Well, no, I missed the metal part.

[A]

Instead of going like this.

[G]

He did.

[D]

I was trying not to hit the microphone.

[J]

Ow.

[G]

Well, you got to put it down.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

You put it on the desk. Yeah.

[A]

You have a desk.

[D]

I'd be a great judge. In fact, so yesterday. Yeah, I got A. A text from the United States Post Office. And, and I. And I was looking at, thinking, wait a minute. I don't remember ordering a package that was going to be.

[J]

And it was.

[D]

I mean, it had the logos and everything. So I, I did a little homework.

[A]

Don't answer any.

[D]

Yeah, it's one of the number one scams out there.

[G]

Oh.

[D]

Now, as a judge, what I'd like to do is when they catch the people that do these, I'd like them burned at the stake on live television on Friday nights. I will light the fire. I got these people, these people that are picking off old people, especially last

[A]

week it was 800 number and it said bank. I picked it up and long story short, I ended up calling Chase bank. And we. We don't call. You don't worry about it.

[D]

Yeah, it's. It's impossible because I don't know what to believe anymore.

[A]

I don't either. Because I don't either.

[D]

I've had the credit card. The credit card scam. Well, if you don't call, do you email? No. The emails are fake, right? But no, as a judge, I would absolutely like to see public executions by fire while they're alive. Oh, you stole a bunch of old ladies money and their credit cards. I'm sorry.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

God's gonna turn you into something in hell, but we'll start the fire for him. That's Judge Tom. Boom. This is cool. Wait a minute. I did it again.

[A]

Can you put something underneath the hitty thing? Sorry.

[D]

What did you do my coffee sticks?

[G]

Oh, they're all over the place.

[D]

Stall for me.

[G]

Jess Hooker just walked by the studio, mouth agape, baffled at what could possibly be.

[A]

What are you doing? Headphones off. What's going on? Yeah, put the wig on.

[G]

I was hoping this would happen.

[F]

I was hoping, too.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Oh, yeah. You're the wig party.

[A]

Let me tell you something that is seamless to your general look. That looks exactly. You could walk around like that. You could walk around like that and no one would say, hey, what's the deal? No, nobody would say, hey, what's the

[G]

guy in the hundred bucks if you go to lunch like that?

[J]

200.

[A]

I'm in for 100.

[E]

I'm in for 100.

[D]

Well, you know, my girls are on their spring break, so I could take them to lunch like this.

[E]

Please, please.

[D]

Because they. They find me me really embarrassing at all times.

[A]

I think we went over the fact your daughters don't want to go anywhere with you. We got that show live on Monday, I believe.

[D]

I wanted to go to breakfast.

[E]

You wanted to go and they did not. And you kept asking.

[G]

You know what? They are crazy. Why didn't they want to go to breakfast?

[A]

I don't know.

[D]

Maybe because I was going.

[E]

We don't want to go, Daddy.

[A]

Man, that is really something.

[D]

So with the gavel, where'd this come from?

[A]

Do you have a bow listener?

[G]

Who knows who ordered that?

[E]

Is there a bow in the back? Could you turn around, please? Oh, I love it.

[A]

Put that.

[E]

Love it.

[A]

Put it on your mouse pad when you hit it.

[D]

Huh? Put the.

[A]

Put the foundation on the mouse pad

[D]

and then hit it.

[A]

I think you'll have. Yeah, that's a little.

[D]

That's a little more.

[A]

Well, don't hit it like you want to break.

[G]

We're not getting an echo. Like you would think.

[A]

That's better. Yeah, that's.

[D]

Yeah. Maybe this is. This is probably some kind of sound absorbent thing. I would. I'd have to ask Eddie.

[A]

Is it too late for us specifically Tom or Pat or I to become a judge? Would we have to start at the bottom?

[G]

This is the craziest thing. You need zero training to be a judge.

[E]

Are you serious?

[G]

Yes.

[D]

In many. In many cases it's a lifetime appointment. And for the Supreme Court, you can go until you drop dead or until you decide you want to quit.

[A]

How do I get.

[G]

You just put yourself on the ballot.

[D]

There's a big controversy right now.

[A]

It's an elected position.

[D]

Where is it? Minnesota, where there's a like a 90 year old judge and they've kind of pulled her off the bench. And although she's apparently quite competent.

[G]

You don't need an hour of law school to be a judge in this country.

[A]

This could be.

[D]

I'm not sure about that.

[G]

That's the exact. That's the absolute.

[A]

The funniest thing I've.

[D]

I think. You don't have to. You don't have to be a mortician to become a coroner. I know that I'm.

[A]

Funniest thing I've ever said. Ready? I'd like to be a judge because I'm very good at critical thinking. Oh, I knew he'd laugh. Yeah. How about that?

[D]

I'd like to be a judge. I'd be a hanging George judge.

[G]

You would be.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[G]

Who we up against or who we up in front of this? Oh, no.

[E]

Judge Griswold.

[D]

No. This may not be. This may not prevent the next murder, but you'll never do it again.

[A]

Is there any.

[D]

You'll be dead.

[A]

Better scene where Al Lewis Is the judge in used cars. And he uses his fingers to go walk up a gallows. And then he has a little switch that snaps the noose and it goes through the floor there.

[D]

I could kind of get used to this wig.

[E]

Is it, is it warm?

[A]

I bet it is warm.

[E]

I bet it's warm.

[D]

Kind of toasty.

[A]

90 of your heat.

[E]

It matches your sideburns perfectly.

[D]

Does it really?

[A]

Oh, yeah. Absolutely seamless. Yes, that's what I said.

[D]

Remember a few years ago you guys all bailed on this. I like dressing as presidents. We had a great time. McAfee was in here. He dressed well. He was like Jefferson.

[H]

It was.

[D]

It was.

[A]

Oh, I think Mac dressed up as Jackie Kennedy one year, I believe.

[D]

No, no, that was.

[A]

I just did it. But I, I, I don't. He. He was in a way.

[J]

Oh, no.

[H]

He was.

[A]

Marilyn Monroe wasn't.

[D]

And then we made. And Christie was a great Teddy Roosevelt.

[A]

I don't know if great's the word you want. She wasn't happy with it to this day.

[G]

You made a fine Eleanor Roosevelt.

[A]

I. I've had no more fulfilling role in my life than Eleanor Rose.

[G]

You had the fake teeth.

[A]

I sure did.

[F]

Is that out there? A picture of that?

[G]

Yes. It shows up on our aura frame every now and then.

[D]

It was, it was a good look. I did someone gift.

[E]

There we go.

[A]

Oh, that's me. Is Grant. Is that Grant?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And McAfee's Jefferson.

[D]

Pat McAfee's Jefferson. You're a great Grant. That's Christy as Roosevelt and I'm George Washington. That's fairly convincing.

[E]

That hair is pretty similar to what

[D]

you're wearing right now.

[E]

Pretty much, yeah.

[D]

Yeah. There's just more of it.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

It's just not as tight up by your ears. It's kind of falling down.

[D]

Now. Were those, Were those wigs or did George Washington have that bad haircut cut?

[G]

I, I don't know.

[F]

They were wigs.

[E]

I think. I think they were wigs.

[A]

Even George W. Wasn't that a side effect of sexually transmitted diseases? You'd lose your hair. Isn't that why wigs were.

[D]

No. The pub. The pubic wigs was because of body lice. They would shave everywhere.

[A]

Ask about pubic wig wigs. That's the second time you've mentioned it since you touched a wig. Oh, is this a pubic wig? Never.

[D]

This one. This one won't match. We'll just move forward here. Coming up, comedian DJ Dangler. Comedian.

[A]

Pubic area dart.

[E]

No way.

[G]

Are mostly dark.

[D]

I would call it distinguished okay.

[A]

So it's peppered, it's somewhat dark.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. Kind of a, let's see. Oh, like the editor in, in Spider Man, Jonah Jameson.

[G]

So he almost got a stripe like

[F]

gray on the sides, right?

[A]

The poly walnuts.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

Something I really don't want to know.

[D]

Okay, we'll just go around.

[G]

We're going on the horn.

[D]

Christy, you go first. Okay.

[A]

I don't know.

[D]

Okay, we're gonna come right back. We have D.J. dangler, Al Jackson, Tom Mabe and more. Got some news coming to you at the news desk. Don't forget bobandtom.com we've got the pop up shop popped up right now with some cool stuff including those charity T shirts. Hope you can stick around. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[L]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe. This is the Bob and Tom show

[D]

right now.

[A]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Christy Lee at the news D desk.

[E]

Hi, Chick McGee.

[A]

No nonsense news, right? There's Pat Godwin.

[J]

Hello.

[A]

No nonsense music.

[F]

That's correct.

[A]

There's Josh Arnold. He's having fun. He's always fun.

[G]

You, you just said something that will make me laugh for the rest of my life. And, and it's one of my new favorite quotes. Chick McGee just said, you know, I bet the Blue Man Group would piss me off.

[A]

I bet they would.

[E]

I've seen them.

[G]

I have too. And it was really cool.

[A]

And DJ said, DJ just said he just saw them and they were great.

[J]

Yeah, yeah, I just saw like a month ago.

[G]

They have these paddles and PVC pipes.

[A]

They stare. No emotion. That would piss me off. There's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick at the orange insoles.com sports desk. And Tom, as I alluded to, we have a special guest.

[D]

He is comedian DJ Dangler. And we should point out you were talking, we were talking off the air about certain types of shows. Can they really make this a long, can they make it last say 90 minutes? You know, can you go see Stomp and after the first five minutes, go. Well, I get it.

[G]

I know because they do different things than just the trash can lids and the barrels and the brooms. They have a Zippo Act. That's incredible. They turn the lights out and they do this song with opening Zippos and lighting them and closing.

[H]

Yeah.

[D]

You never know, huh? I had to be dragged to Cirque du Soleil and I've now gone five times.

[G]

It was all.

[E]

You never know what you might.

[D]

Yeah, that's it.

[G]

Otherwise you'd come out.

[D]

You're suggesting that there's a homosexual component to Cirque du Soleil?

[G]

Very.

[D]

Oh, really?

[G]

Well, that would explain Cirque du Sol. Gay is what.

[I]

Really?

[D]

I. I had no idea. Thank you very much.

[A]

I'm surprised you don't know.

[G]

No man would actually.

[D]

Okay, okay. The larger point here is Bob and

[A]

I went to see Cirque du Soleil. It was lovely.

[G]

Then you made love, I have no doubt.

[J]

Incredibly acrobatic. Very dangerous love.

[E]

Those gymnasts have to live. They have to get to make a living somewhere. That's where. Cirque du Soleil.

[A]

No, they don't. Get a real. No, get a real job.

[D]

Pick up a shovel.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Cirque du Soleil was.

[A]

Stock a hardware store.

[I]

Okay.

[D]

I have never seen. I've never seen Stomp.

[J]

I would watch Stomp stock a hardware store all day. Oh, yeah, that's a. That's a network television show.

[D]

Have you gone to that Chinese dance thing that they advertise on TV for hours and hours?

[E]

Well, no, no, don't talk more about that.

[D]

Don't say what it's like.

[A]

We'll talk about that off here.

[G]

It's not nearly as nefarious as they're like, anti China. What's wrong with that?

[A]

Oh, really, comrade?

[G]

Anybody? The Chinese government says they hate them. I'm on that person's side.

[A]

Is that right?

[G]

Yes.

[A]

All right.

[D]

Hey, I got a question.

[A]

I like that food, though.

[D]

What size shoe do you wear over there, Mr. Dangling?

[J]

I wear a 15.

[A]

Yeah, right. He does.

[G]

Yeah.

[J]

Means nothing.

[D]

And you happen to be wearing sort of muted colors clothing, but your shoes are a bright red.

[A]

They are red Timberlands, I believe.

[J]

Yeah, they are. I opted big. I. I was going to order some boots, and when you're ordering a size 15 boot, it's already kind of hard to find, and they had them bright red. And I realized, like, for anyone else, these are objectively clown shoes.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[J]

Like on anybody.

[D]

But.

[J]

Yeah, no, I. I love it.

[A]

And how tall are you? Six, five, six, four.

[J]

Six, four.

[A]

Six, four. Yeah, six four and a little bit.

[D]

And your beard. Your beard is six five. That is a. Yeah, that is one

[J]

bushy, but I'm six Four.

[G]

But I have.

[J]

I have huge feet. I have really big hands.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[G]

Oh, yeah.

[J]

In fact, when I was in college, I tried to learn sign language.

[D]

Yeah.

[J]

But. But deaf folks always thought I was yelling at.

[A]

Okay, you young comedians listening out. That is a. Damn.

[I]

See?

[D]

And by the way, your hands are freakishly large.

[A]

Damn right.

[D]

We're speaking with DJ Dingle. That was a.

[E]

Do you play piano?

[J]

No, not even. But every now and then I pretend to.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Oh, very nice.

[J]

Yeah.

[A]

Or.

[J]

Yeah.

[D]

And you have a. A wingspan on those hands.

[E]

That's why I'm asking.

[A]

Man, you should have been a defensive end, an edge rusher.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, you could have been. You could have been the least. Least popular proctologist in town.

[J]

I can get up there. I can make sure everything's.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[G]

Oh, there's your uvula.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, and I accidentally unbuttoned your shirt. My fault.

[D]

Your clients would still be tasting latex after you gave him a rectal exam. Let's see, where were we? Oh, we were going to get to some news. But first, so you. You have the wacky red shoes.

[G]

Yeah, well, he didn't say wacky.

[A]

No, you said wack. You got those wacky red laces and those weird brown shoes or black or whatever color you're wearing today.

[D]

These are black.

[A]

Are you still wearing them?

[D]

Yeah, these are. These are.

[E]

Here we go.

[A]

Who are you gonna give those to when you get tired of them? Have you decided four different pairs of them? Do you rotate them, Keep them fresh?

[D]

Yeah, of course.

[A]

You keep the boxes to keep them in, or you just.

[D]

No, no, I have a little thing in my closet.

[G]

Do you keep the boxes?

[A]

I don't know. Boxes are the. The devil's.

[E]

Do you dust your shelves?

[A]

Something hiding? Oh, yeah. Every Thursday at 2.

[E]

Okay.

[J]

I'm not gonna lie. With a size 15 shoe.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[J]

Those feel important. Like, I have all kinds of stuff in mind. They do. They feel like little chests. Like, I'm like, hey, this holds.

[A]

Yeah.

[J]

Holds old magazines and such.

[A]

Yeah. Well, you could use DJs shoe boxes for a toy chest

[D]

now. Are you living with. Let's see. Well, your dad. What's. What's going on with that?

[J]

No, actually, my. My dad. My dad passed. I. I was taking care of my dad and he died.

[D]

Carolyn, I do a very good job.

[J]

No, I didn't. People have done better.

[G]

But.

[J]

No, it's.

[G]

Well, we're sorry to hear it, dude.

[D]

Yeah, it was.

[J]

He made it. He was 85.

[G]

Good.

[I]

Wrong.

[D]

Yeah, good.

[J]

Here's the People always. I think people, like, want to inflate when they talk about their dad. They always want to be like, oh, he was a great man. And that's not. My dad was a good dad. And like that. Okay, like. Like, I'll explain it. My dad never hit me growing up. No, but. But he swung on me three times as an adult. Great dad. I don't know if he was a great man. Kind of a crappy dude. Yeah. But, yeah, all right. No, he got around.

[D]

Yeah.

[J]

I was watching him for a while. It got weird there near the end. It was fun. He got around. Well, like, up until the last. Like, the last summer of his life. He had his fourth full knee replaced.

[H]

Basement.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[J]

Fourth.

[D]

Yeah.

[J]

Which isn't that big of a deal. He was a centaur,

[D]

I was gonna say. Was it just one four times?

[G]

No, no, no.

[A]

Okay, I see.

[D]

Very, very good. Christy Lee, what's coming up in the world of news?

[E]

What's coming up is we're going to take a trip to space with a couple of interesting space stories, including sex in space. Or more. Really? Sperm in space.

[G]

Okay.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah. This is an interesting study they're doing because they're talking about this mission, this Artemis 2 mission. The idea is they're testing a bunch of stuff. One of the announcers yesterday was saying, yeah, the goal of this mission is for the four astronauts to come back alive.

[G]

Well, sure.

[A]

That seems rather foreboding.

[D]

I'm not making that up. That's what he said.

[G]

Well, they're going farther than anybody has, right?

[D]

Yeah. They're going to deep space, and they're just going to swing around the moon. But the idea eventually is to build a base on the moon where.

[A]

Wait a minute. I thought they were going just to the moon. And are they going to go past the moon and then come back?

[D]

They're going in the far side. This will be the deepest they've ever gone because the previous Artemis rocket went

[A]

there when we landed on the moon and everything kind of after. They went around the moon, didn't they?

[D]

They orbited the moon, but they're going apparently deeper around it and swinging. The larger point I'm trying to make is they're gonna. They want to build a base there.

[A]

I feel like I need to understand this quickly or he's gonna yell at me.

[E]

Didn't it sound like when you were watching it yesterday? Because we grew up with the Apollo program.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

That these kids had never seen a space launch before. Like, this is, like, the greatest thing ever. Where were you in 78.

[D]

Oh, it's so cool. Have you seen the one where they've got. They have a. The Washington Monument and then the rocket sort of superimposed on it. It shows how gigantic the thing is.

[A]

Now you launched the Washington Monument. I'll watch that. Mm, yeah.

[G]

It'll happen when the aliens want it back. Oh, yeah, laugh it up.

[A]

That's interesting.

[D]

Do the flames come out the bottom or the top?

[A]

Well, if it's the top driving dong.

[E]

Think about it.

[D]

I thought I went up, turned around, and then. Oh, surprise.

[G]

Well, unless they went to explore our core again.

[J]

Isn't that the worst, though? Just thinking that the aliens are like pretentious parkers, that they back into their spots like jerks. You're better. Better than you.

[D]

When you pull out.

[A]

I love to. Back here.

[G]

I'm a backer. Inner.

[A]

I didn't know I was. I don't want to be pretentious, though.

[D]

I'm a pull through or.

[E]

I'm a pull through or too.

[G]

Well, sure. That's ideal.

[E]

Yeah.

[J]

Maybe that's how they came. We should probably check. We'd probably check Australia.

[D]

Oh, here's the whole. Yeah, I see we do have a sperm in space.

[E]

Yes, we do.

[D]

Interesting study about that. And the future of pollinating human beings.

[E]

We don't have in space yet is a hybrid that'll take you around the lunar surface office. But maybe Hyundai's working on that. You don't know.

[A]

Why can't they shape the rocket on the top of it? Look like a Hyundai?

[D]

Yeah, I'm surprised they don't sell space on it.

[A]

I. I don't know why they don't.

[E]

I'm sure that it's right around the corner.

[D]

Winn Dixie in the side.

[E]

Hard to make a choice these days. And folks at Hyundai realize that. That's why with America's best lineup of hybrids, you get the best of both worlds. Like the reliable and efficient Tucson hybrid, which I drive daily and love so very much. It's got America's best warranty. Or how about the stylish yet capable Santa Fe hybrid with the power to navigate the toughest terrain, like the moon. It's like having your cake and eating it too, but you know better. Hybrids from Hyundai is the best of both worlds. Visit HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-4603 for more details. And they're not putting a Hyundai on the moon. That was just made up.

[D]

Not yet.

[E]

Not yet.

[D]

We'll see. We'll see what happens. Thank you very much. Christy Lee. Coming up, we're hanging out with comedian DJ Dangler, comedian Al Jackson, comedian Tom Mabe. Also we have a interesting story about a dog rescue. Kind of an update on the story we talked about yesterday. We have a loose monkey. We have a bizarre story about an airport gift show shop. And it doesn't involve the usual airport gift shop or the Brinks truck comes up and wow, you made a million dollars today. You sure are charging a lot. We also have, as we mentioned, a sperm in space. But also one of the things on this mission. You're not going to believe me when I tell you this. They are testing a new space toilet. And it's quite interesting because, I mean, you think about it, you're up there for 11 days, you know you're gonna go, yeah, you're gonna go.

[A]

You think they're joking around and put a glory hole in it at some point. That'd be kind of fun just to lighten the mood.

[G]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

I mean, going to the outside of the spacecraft in case an alien comes.

[A]

Why don't they do that? Like, you know they have an airlock. They have an airlock in all the movie Battlestar Galactic shoot you out the airlock if you misbehave.

[G]

Right.

[A]

You go into the airlock and put your butt up against a hole and it waste goes out something. Oh well, I think because it would

[G]

take your colon with

[A]

it would hollow you out.

[D]

Well, I think also that it might be a little chilly out there and you might have. Yeah, something might freeze up. This is again why we're not scientists or engineers. We're going to return to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. In the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, there's Christy Lee, evidently strawberry spinach salad. Your, your temperature's well calibrated. You're rocking the short sleeve shirt.

[E]

Yeah, I am today. It's very comfortable in here. For a change.

[A]

I'll be dang on. There's Pat Godwin.

[G]

Hello, Chick.

[A]

Got a, got a song coming up. Greatest thing song in my heart, possibly dedication to Mr. Dangler maybe.

[G]

All right.

[A]

Would be wonderful. There a Dangler wrangler. Spangler.

[D]

Oh, something four.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

No, just something he'd enjoy.

[F]

No, I thought I'd just dedicate it to him. Do about something else.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

There's Josh Arnold.

[D]

Hi there.

[A]

Ace Cosby. Howdy, I'm Chick McGee at the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. And Tom, if you've looked, we have a Special guest, one of our favorites.

[D]

He is comedian DJ Dangler. Serious beard.

[J]

Yeah, mostly beard.

[D]

Mostly beard that is jutting out quite good beard.

[G]

Good beard.

[A]

Good.

[J]

Feel good.

[A]

Yeah, great beard.

[G]

Have we talked about if there were to be a biopic of Pat McCormick, you guys would. We would cast DJ?

[A]

Oh my goodness, yes.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

Pat McCormack was the one of the writers for the Johnny Carson show and appears in the movie Smoking the Bandits. Yeah, we talked about that with what's the songwriter guy?

[A]

That was Paul Williams. And if you want to have fun, look up the night that tonight's show was streaked struck when streaking was big and it was Pat McCormick who streaked the show.

[G]

Also look up Pat McCormick. Helicopter.

[D]

Helicopter story.

[G]

That's an incredible story.

[F]

That is a great story.

[A]

Okay.

[G]

That cannot be told on the radio.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Okay, good. I'm sorry. DJ Dangler is our guest dj, by the way, he's gonna be in Louisville, Planet of the Tapes coming up next Wednesday evening.

[A]

Dirty Tapes.

[J]

Yeah.

[D]

Speaking of Louisville, we're have Tom Mabe in here shortly via Zoom. He will be at the Caravan in Louisville coming up this weekend doing their goodbye show, among other things, as they get ready to close that one down and perhaps move it. We'll find out. But right now let's just check in quickly with Christy. Leah, what have we missed over there?

[A]

Check in quickly, Christy. Don't take too long.

[D]

No, as long as you want.

[E]

A new space toilet is making its debut with NASA's Artemis 2 mission. It allows astronauts to urinate and defecate at the same time.

[D]

No, wait a second.

[E]

Do people do that now?

[D]

Here, hold on a second.

[G]

Second.

[D]

When I, when I first read that, I thought, I thought it meant the four of them could go together.

[E]

No.

[D]

So it's not a. It's not, it's not a four seater.

[E]

Not.

[D]

Yes, I did.

[E]

Oh, come on, Tom.

[A]

Well, I figured, you know what, you're like special stupid, you know that?

[D]

I mean, the notion would be, look, if we're going to stink up this thing, why don't we all agree no space.

[E]

Where would they put that?

[J]

That might be the reason that you would want to go in a group. I mean, I would think, like if you've got to only do one a day.

[D]

But I know what, what they mean is apparently with the previous system, you,

[E]

you could do one or the other.

[D]

Do one or the other, but not both.

[E]

Well, this one looks like it. Almost like a portal at hole. Like you would sit on it and.

[G]

Okay.

[D]

And this is, this is the first time it's been in space.

[E]

Yes. According to Scientific American, the space agency's Universal Waste Management System was created to solve long standing problems astronauts faced when going to the bathroom.

[D]

By the way, I love the way it says Universal Waste Management System or uwms. Do you suppose they have T shirts?

[E]

Maybe?

[D]

What college is that? No, no, it's the Waste Management System.

[G]

Like a B story in Big Bang Theory.

[D]

Where.

[G]

Wolowitz Toilet.

[D]

Yeah.

[K]

Oh, it was.

[G]

Yeah. He made the space toilet.

[D]

Wasn't there a contest that you got. Got whatever, a million dollars.

[E]

I remember that, yeah. The previous system involved plastic bags, tubes and funnels. The new one collects both urine and feces simultaneously.

[A]

Just plastic bags, funnels, windmills.

[J]

I don't like it that our space program hasn't figured anything out that truck drivers haven't. That concerns me.

[E]

It also has handles which will allow astronauts to stay steady in microgravity. And a door offers some measurements of privacy in the crew capsule, which we talked about a little bit.

[G]

Yeah. You can see the little curtain there. The blue.

[D]

Yeah. I'm not sure how effective that is, but I mean, better than nothing.

[E]

The previous system was infamously prone to leaks.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[E]

We're going all the way Back to Apollo 10 here. Astronauts noticed, quote. Could you read this? Because I'm really embarrassed to do it.

[D]

I'm. This is from Scientific American. This is their prose, not mine. Please read it.

[A]

Well, don't make her if she doesn't want to.

[E]

A turd floating through the air.

[G]

No way. In a space shuttle they actually saw turd.

[E]

It was an Apollo 10.

[A]

They put turd in the article? Yes.

[D]

T O R D or Scientific American. You can double check it if you want.

[G]

Can you. What do you do with it? All right. Somebody's got to catch it.

[D]

Anybody who's got the. Who's got that thing for that? We get the fish out of the

[E]

aquarium with the butterfly net.

[J]

That's like the ultimate floater, right?

[D]

Like, oh, we have some floaters in space. They're all floaters.

[E]

During Apollo 8. It gets worse.

[A]

Oh, get worse.

[E]

The crew had to chase down on what they ate. Hell, he hit the nail on the head. Blobs of vomit and feces that escaped into the cabin.

[A]

Two holes, no waiting.

[D]

Sick in this new one, I guess there. There's also a system where the. The three male astronauts can cross swords.

[G]

Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Yeah, because they're gonna get a little

[A]

bored up, you know? Boys will be bored.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Come on.

[E]

Early toilets designed for the space shuttle program and The International Space Station looked more like the ones here on Earth.

[G]

But astronauts, you are very pleased needed

[E]

to strap in while a vacuum system kept excrement from floating around the cabin.

[A]

You know what? We should all be ashamed of ourselves for insulting him about how he's just preoccupied, occupied with this topic. But you can't, you can't overlook the fact. Look how happy he is.

[E]

I came in here so excited about this mission because I'm a big space nerd and then I get this on my desk.

[D]

That is one of the main things they're testing. By the way, that thing also makes great coffee.

[I]

I hate knowing.

[D]

It is quite the machine.

[J]

Space spaceships sound like no one shops.

[E]

Yeah, I know.

[G]

It's now a floating piece of poop. And would that be considered an asteroid

[D]

now? Josh is joining the club.

[G]

If you can't beat him, join it.

[E]

Be an asteroid.

[D]

Now the other interesting story is because the purpose of this mission is eventually to have a station on the moon where they can live on some kind of a lab. It'd be like they've compared it to the ones they have in. What is it, Antarctica, where they have those places where people can live. That's the goal here, eventually.

[G]

Why don't they just use Hitler's old moon base?

[J]

Oh, the lizards took it over.

[G]

Oh, I got you.

[E]

Scientists say human sperm can get lost in space. They say put. They put sperm to the test to determine whether a child could be conceived in space using a tiny plastic obstacle course.

[G]

It can also get lost in carpet. Look, I know I hit the floor on accident.

[J]

Was this a plan or do you think this was like an accidental experiment when they were like, hey, look, we've

[E]

got findings this Floats around, published in the journal Communications Biology, show that the navigational abilities of sperm are negatively impacted by a lack of gravity. Well, duh.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

I mean, come on. Having a baby in space may require a bit more direction, so we'll have to see how they're going to be able to.

[D]

And also getting it through that spacesuit. Just going to have to be pretty seriously gifted.

[E]

Couldn't you use like a turkey based or vacuum system?

[A]

It's. There's a lot of vacuums going on with showering, the whole thing.

[E]

Yeah, they could.

[A]

A lot of sucking going out and

[E]

put it back in.

[A]

That's right.

[G]

Oh, gosh, the suck machine.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, the sucker 9000.

[D]

I mean, it would be weird. I. How else are the sperm affected that. I mean, that could.

[E]

Well, that's true. They may float. They may swim in the Wrong direction

[G]

morphology could be messed up.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

I mean the pregnancy could be all screwed up. So.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Really don't have.

[G]

Let's not procreate in space until we know there are no alien bacteria that

[A]

are mingle with our DNA and super monster.

[D]

I just think the lack of gravity might be problematic.

[G]

Sure.

[A]

So why would it be problematic?

[D]

Because the fluids are supposed to be flowing down. Right. They're flowing up whatever they're doing up into the woman.

[E]

Up into the woman to get pregnant.

[D]

Well, that isn't the issue. I think they're going to get. They're going to find their way in.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

Everyone who. A lot of people are going. That's going to happen on Earth.

[A]

You're supposed to like stand on your head. So you get those.

[E]

Yes, yes.

[D]

And to clarify, to clarify, from a scientific standpoint, I'll tell you this. Dj. Oh good. Remember, it's. It's.

[A]

It's.

[D]

It's Pepsi, not Coke that makes the douche that will keep you safe.

[J]

Oh yeah, no, that's.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. It's just science fact.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

She can't get pregnant if you use the old.

[E]

Oh my God, don't listen to Tom.

[D]

Not Diet Pepsi.

[E]

We'll continue to watch the Artemis mission and give you the important facts going on in NASA and in space.

[D]

This toilet testing was one of the important things.

[G]

It is important.

[J]

Okay.

[D]

I mean if you were up there with. Because it's one woman and three dudes.

[E]

Correct.

[D]

If you. If this were a space capsule and you were the only lady here, wouldn't you want.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

I mean, at some point a little privacy.

[E]

That would be nice.

[G]

I think Godwin's gonna elaborate.

[F]

Ground control, we must discuss our toilets leak like on a Greyhound above us. Take a plunger and some glade along with you. Ground control to astronaut Three.

[D]

Three, Three.

[F]

You're wearing Depends. It's okay to pee. You'll be floating in it for a day or two. This is Cap and Tom. I've got to go. There's not much I can do. Don't wanna be known as the guy who went number two. Just sitting in it the whole flight through. This is Matt, the systems engineer. And it smells so bad in here. I'm going to walk outside. Like cloudy and gravity. It's pretty in space, but my tether came off, you see. And here I am sitting like a dead duck. But there's no gas from the ship. My face is turning blue, but I'm not breathing. Number two.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

You played that so well. That might get picked up as the real song. Now, coming up in the news, we'll have more from Chris Lee. What have you got over there?

[E]

I have Pop Tarts in the news. Who? Everybody loves a Pop Tart.

[D]

Let's hear about them.

[E]

Okay. It's rolling out a new product, and it's a simple promise that they're making more filling. They're called Super Stuffed Toaster pastries, featuring about 50% more filling than the standard version from Pop Tarts. Yep. The move comes after years of customer complaints that there just wasn't enough inside. There absolutely wasn't enough breakfast treat. And it's gotten smaller since we were kids.

[G]

Absolutely.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

New pastries are expected to be so obvious.

[D]

Why wouldn't they?

[E]

And I think the flavors are brown sugar, cinnamon, and cherry or strawberry. One of the two.

[D]

I mean, Oreo figured this out a long time ago.

[E]

Yeah, Double stuff. Sure, sure.

[J]

I. I know this is crazy, but I think, like, the unfrosted strawberry Pop Tarts have, like, higher calories because they're bigger and thicker.

[E]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[J]

It's a weird one where you're like, huh?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I can remember being. I want them so heavy, the toaster can't actually push them up.

[A]

Ah, that's a good idea.

[D]

There's just so much sugar in them, and they're so delicious. Now, coming up, we're going to learn about a little bit about history. We're also going to talk with comedian Al Jackson and comedian Tom Mabel. Let's talk a little more to DJ Dangler. He's sitting right here. Yeah, you are. You mentioned you're an uncle.

[J]

I'm from. I have a huge family.

[D]

But you don't have any kids of your own.

[J]

No, no kids of my own. But, yeah, no. Enormous family. I'm the youngest of six kids, and then both my parents were the youngest

[D]

of, like, a dozen.

[E]

Wow.

[D]

Yeah.

[J]

Like, when people know how many cousins they have, I'm like, that's adorable.

[D]

I have no.

[E]

You have no idea.

[J]

No idea. I'm sure I've said this. This is completely true. A couple of years ago, I had two Uncle Larry's die, which is very sad, except for the fact that I still had two more Uncle Larry's at the time. That's a big family.

[A]

That's a big family.

[J]

I've got to say, I think families, by and large, are just.

[E]

Just a.

[J]

A scam, huh?

[E]

Really?

[J]

Yeah, no, like, I think it's just a big, big nonsense thing to get you to like people. You wouldn't. I have two family members named after Creed songs and I have to love them.

[D]

Does that make like

[J]

that's how big my fam. Like I have to. I'm not. I mean, I would cheer you monster.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I wouldn't want anything to do with you, pal. That you're my cousin.

[J]

Yeah. But like you get that, right?

[A]

And yeah, that makes sense.

[G]

Cousin hire.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Now, a couple of other things coming up. I want to mention that our pop up shop is up and [e-mail] we have an all new version of our website. Just got that out a couple weeks ago and a new app. So if you get a chance, go on over there sometime today, the springtime pop up [e-mail] right now. I want to talk to you about grabbing the mix. Walk out to the mailbox and grab those letters and you look through them and all of a sudden you realize, oh, this is a bill. You open it up and wow, I really haven't paid off much of this credit card. What happens when you get a great deal of credit card debt? It starts building up and becoming bigger and bigger because they can charge more than 20% interest on that debt as it builds up. So maybe it's time to get rid of that. One of the ways to do that if you're a homeowner is to take advantage of the equity in your house. Your house is probably worth a lot more than it was just a few years ago. The way things have been going in the housing market, you can take advantage of that and take that cash. And if you do a refi, take that cash, pay off those credit cards and stop paying that exorbitant interest rate. Find out what I'm talking about by talking to the folks at American Financing. They've been doing some stuff. They sent me some just general numbers they've been dealing with lately. Right now their average customer is saving about 800 bucks a month. That's about 10 grand a year. Takes about 10 minutes to find out what you could save. If you want to give them a call, you can find out about American Financing by going online. You can Visit them at American Financing.net or you can just call them 866-889-2611. See if this would work for you. If you're a homeowner, this might be a great way to take advantage of that by doing a refi. Once Again, it's american financing.net bobandtom nmls182334 nmlsconsumeraccess.org APR for rates in the 5 start at 6.196% for well qualified borrowers. Call 866-889-2611 for detail terms, visit american financing.net bobandom thanks for listening to the

[L]

Bob and Tom show this morning. Catch any part of the show you missed later Today on our YouTube channel.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[E]

Hi.

[A]

There's Pat Godwin.

[J]

Hello.

[A]

Oh, there's Josh Arnold.

[G]

Hey, Trickster.

[D]

Amen.

[A]

There's a Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick McGee at the orange insoles.com sports desk. And in the studio is DJ Dangler and his appearance on the Bottom Tom show sponsored by Lee's famous recipe Chicken. All right. Famous for a reason. Yum yum. And yum yum.

[D]

Thank you very much. Now, I believe I. I'm being instructed. We have to look at the big screen here in our radio studio.

[J]

Oh, look.

[A]

Oh, yeah, there he is.

[K]

That's right, everybody. And septic. Kids, your lady's favorite plumber.

[D]

Hey, Ed.

[K]

Oh, man. As you know, I've been laying pipes since 91 and I ain't stopping anytime soon. I want to call in real quick. As you know, our local plumbing union president passed last month. Yeah, at least he died doing what he loved the most, his wife, Carol Ann. Anyway, one man's death's another man's opportunity. So I'm in the running to be the new plumbing union president.

[A]

Oh.

[K]

I consider it part of my civic duty, so to speak. I wanted to let everyone know I'm holding a rally this Saturday in the parking lot of the old racks. Roast beef off of stop 12. I got a bunch of entertainment lined up. I got a juggler.

[G]

Nice.

[K]

Yeah, this guy could juggle six plungers and nine ballcocks all at once. I got a pen, pet and zoo. Well, actually, it's my niece Delaney and her three ferrets, but the kids love them. I got three bands lined up. You're gonna be excited about this opening. I got Modest Moose. Yeah, they're Canadian. Modest Mouse cover band. Then I got two fifths of the band three doors down. Yeah, their new band called Two Knuckles Deep. Then closing out the show, I got one quarter of the Monkeys. He goes by the Monkeys. Little known fact, my ex wife's friend banged Mickey Dolens last month at a La Quinta Inn down in La Grange, Kentucky.

[G]

Wow.

[K]

Yeah, apparently he brings the thunder. Anyways, come on down. There will be popcorn for the kids, wieners for the ladies, beers for the Fellas, of course I'll be there 9 to 5 doing the usual political stuff, you know, kissing hands and shaking babies. Whatever it takes to get the votes.

[D]

Vote.

[K]

Remember, when the crap hits the fan, I'm your man. I'm Ed Septic. Vote for me. I approve this message.

[A]

Good luck with the election.

[G]

My goodness.

[D]

Time now for our history lesson. DJ would like to enlighten people. This is this first one. This always irritates me.

[E]

What is that?

[D]

I used to call them pineapple. Ponce de Lune. Ponce de Leon. It says here 1513. He discovers Florida. That's news for the people already living there.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Who's this dude? I understand he loved the club scene and used to live there.

[E]

In Miami.

[D]

In South Beach.

[J]

Excellent.

[A]

He came up with the drink. Sobey. Oh, yeah.

[D]

Ponce de Leon. And he came back to Europe with T shirts.

[E]

Did he? Yeah, they got five for. Yeah, 10.99.

[D]

I think they were Panama Beach. And he of course invented water store King. This is. We've talked about this before. In 1931, on this date, a 17 year old girl named Jackie Mitchell struck out Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig in an exhibition game. Now it's been.

[E]

I don't remember talking about.

[D]

It was. It was claimed. We all might in a minute. It was claimed. It was publicity stunt. Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig said it was not. She ended up touring with. Do you remember we talked about this? This. It was called the House of David baseball team.

[A]

I know. I remember. I'm familiar with that.

[E]

I don't know about she underhand. Like in softball. Was it a softball pitch?

[D]

If you Google the House of David baseball team.

[J]

It's a fascinating.

[D]

It is an amazing.

[A]

It's so.

[J]

It's like the Harlem Globetrotters.

[A]

They have merch. You have to look for it. Plenty of merch out there.

[D]

It's a really interesting story. But she toured with them. This is true. And she would wear a fake beard. Beard. Right. It was a men's team and people

[E]

didn't know she was a girl.

[J]

Well, I'll bet they did. Like everybody wore a beard. Like it was kind of like.

[E]

Okay, gotcha.

[D]

Yeah. But in any event, on this date, supposedly she struck out Lou Gehrigan. Babe Ruth.

[E]

Wow.

[D]

I don't know if. I don't know if you know if Lou is in his full. Never mind. Babe was probably. Babe was probably drunk. Speaking of the space program, two things on this date in 1966, Luna 10, the first spacecraft to orbit the moon, sent up by the Russkies. I'm not sure how Luna's 1 through 9 did. Probably some cosmonauts still floating around up there. In 1968, the Great Movie, 2001, a space oddity, space Odyssey, Excuse me, premiered and it holds up.

[G]

It's great.

[D]

The special effects, amazing.

[A]

My opinion is that's where the moon landing was fake started because everyone saw 2001, and when you compare that to any other science fiction movie of that time, it's like, holy hell. Yeah, this guy went to space. Because it looks so unbelievable and quite.

[G]

2010 is not a bad movie at all. No, it's. It's nothing like 2001 in a way, but it's still. It's still pretty quality.

[A]

I guess they had to age Cure delay up because he looked amazing for 2010. Yeah.

[D]

Happy birthday. 742. Charlemagne.

[E]

Kid Charlemagne.

[A]

Just great. Great guitar. Larry Carlton. Great guitar solo.

[D]

Yeah. Which does. What is that? That's like Charles the Great. I guess.

[E]

I have no idea.

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

He's like the Wilt Chamberlain.

[A]

Big Chuck.

[G]

They called him now Charlemagne the God.

[A]

Right? Yeah.

[D]

He was called the King of the Franks.

[E]

Oh, you like hot dogs?

[G]

He did love them.

[D]

The King of the Franks is our friend Joey Chestnut.

[J]

Charlemagne versus Joey Chestnut. The battle of our time.

[D]

Just did the one name thing. Like Cher.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay. Oh, here's a good one. I didn't know this guy had a first name. Casanova.

[E]

What is it?

[D]

Giacomo Casanova.

[J]

That's a sexy name.

[E]

It is a sexy name.

[D]

Yeah. Casanova. Casa, meaning house. Nova. That means your house is exploding. Floating, I believe. Casanova.

[G]

I always consider myself more of a Don Juan. The ladies Don Juan. Anything to do with me.

[A]

That's not true. The guys don't want anything to do with you.

[D]

Thought I was in the Catskills for just a second. 1805. Happy birthday. Hans Christian Andersen. His early work, he was Hans Jewish Anderson. It was like an Old Testament versus.

[G]

Yes, but he married into a.

[D]

Yes, Very few people know that.

[J]

Those early fables are so. So dark.

[D]

Yeah. Disney, they kind of Disneyed them up a little bit.

[I]

That's the New Testament fable.

[A]

And the mice ate her. Oh, hey.

[D]

Something like. Like a little bit too sexually explicit. The Princess and the Pea.

[G]

Well, yeah.

[A]

And then the golden shower thing.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Diana liked it rough.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Oh, happy birthday, Walter Chrysler.

[J]

Chrysler.

[D]

Born in 1875.

[A]

What'd he do?

[E]

He built a building.

[D]

His brother, famous Larry. Dodge.

[A]

No. If your last name is Chrysler, wouldn't you name one of the kids? Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ. No. Happy Easter.

[D]

At the time, the three big car companies would eventually be Chrysler and,

[C]

well,

[D]

Jam Ford, Henry Ford and Chevy Chase, I think it was. Let's see. How about the. Oh, Alec Guinness. Born in 1914.

[A]

Love dark beer.

[D]

Famous for Obi Wan, right?

[G]

Sure.

[A]

Oh, sure.

[G]

Bridge over the River Qua.

[A]

We are not the droids you're looking for.

[D]

And that was Alec Baldwin's frat name. Alec Guinness. Now, do you know who this guy is, Christy? Serge Gainsborough.

[E]

I have no idea.

[D]

Anybody? No idea.

[A]

Charlotte's husband, Blue Boy or something?

[D]

Oh, that Gainsborough. That would be good. No, it's a French singer, songwriter. Do you remember the song called J. TAM?

[G]

Yeah, Yeah. I love.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Jane Birkin.

[E]

I love you. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

That slow.

[A]

It's not the French version of beyond the Sea or something. Oh, that's Le Mer or something.

[G]

Yeah, yeah. That is Lemaire.

[D]

Yeah. But Jatan was a worldwide hit.

[A]

I don't remember known for that. There must have been a lot less music then.

[D]

First name? His first name. Serge. Serge. I guess it is. S, E, R, G, E. Yeah, that's her.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

He was in Beverly Hills Cop, right? Search. You gotta be kidding.

[F]

Oh, no, it's the truth.

[D]

Yeah.

[G]

Yes.

[D]

His girlfriend put on a condom and called it a surge protector. Thank you. Oh, how about that?

[A]

Look, you gotta unplug something.

[D]

Okay. Christopher Maloney. Tony.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, he's in Oz and stuff.

[G]

Law and Order svu.

[J]

Yeah, he was in Oz and Law and Order at the same time.

[A]

Yeah, right. Yeah, he's a good actor. That's an actor.

[G]

Yeah, he's funny. He's funny in Wet Hot American Summer.

[D]

Yeah, he's. He's very.

[A]

I believe he was full frontal nude in Oz. I think I have that on a big poster in the front room.

[D]

1939, Happy Birthday, Marvin Gaye.

[E]

Oh, he can sing a song. Or could.

[D]

Yeah. But you ever notice that let's Get it on is about getting off? Irony, I'd say. Michael Fassbender, you know that is Josh.

[G]

Yeah. Yeah. Terrific actor.

[E]

He's a good actor.

[A]

Glorious basterds. He's in the basement.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

Orders the three beers incorrectly. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. And you want to be a fast bender if you're showering in prison. I think that would be the key to his name coming up. What the hell are you doing?

[G]

You know what I say? If you're gonna bend over, don't linger. Yeah. Stand right back up.

[D]

Yeah. You get one snatch at it. If you miss it the first time, stand right.

[G]

I mean, it is unfair that we have to do most of the work when it comes to.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. What the heck?

[D]

Coming up, comedian Al Jackson, comedian Tom Mabe. And we're hanging with comedian DJ Dangler in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[L]

Add to or continue the conversation. Check out the Bob and Tom show on on Facebook. Get the [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom show

[D]

coming up.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[E]

Hi.

[A]

At the news desk.

[D]

There's Pat Godwin.

[A]

Hello. Josh Arnold.

[G]

Hi.

[A]

There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick [e-mail] sports desk. And Tom, we have DJ Dangler in

[D]

the studio and I believe we're gonna go to the big screen and travel electronically across the world to. Whoa.

[A]

Oh, that's the. Is that the voodoo the Day of the dead Rockies jersey you're wearing there?

[D]

Is that it?

[I]

Yes, I'm wearing it in honor of opening day, which is tomorrow for the Rockies. This is my girls Christmas, Hanukkah and Thanksgiving. Like for real baseball fans, opening day, especially people that work in baseball.

[A]

All.

[I]

She's super excited. So I, I'm on board. Even though, like I'm a Guardians fan. I was born and raised in Cleveland, but I feel like it's National League so I'm not cheating. It's like when you cheat but you're on vacation and you're like, oh, international waters. Technically, I'm in the Caribbean. That's how I'm going.

[D]

That's the, that's the voice of comedian Al Jackson. And how does she feel about the, the, the automatic electronic robot empire umpires, if you will.

[A]

Will.

[I]

I think she likes it. I think it's, you know what it is with a baseball. And I told her this the other day on the couch. They have done more to improve their game in the last five years with the pitch clock and the, some, the. Because the problem with the review, especially in the NFL was like it would literally go into a commercial break and they'd still be looking at it. And baseball. It's quick. I, I feel like unless you're watching the game, you wouldn't even know it happens happened. So it's just like was that a vault we checked? Yeah, it was. Okay. Like if you turn to say something to somebody, you would miss it. So it's a really like you wouldn't know.

[D]

You had a walk off strikeout last night for the first time, End of the end of the game. Those. Yeah. Electronically. I'm. I'm in favor of a chick. You're shaking your head.

[A]

No, I. I like the pitch clock. I don't know what they're doing with taking the umpires out of it, but, you know, I think it's important to get the call right because if they don't use instant replay, people at home will have instant replays, so.

[D]

And there's a lot of money on the games these days also.

[A]

That's. Sadly, that has to end.

[I]

Oh, yeah, that is part of it, yeah.

[D]

Now, are you finding yourself wagering at all these days?

[I]

Yeah, we all live in America.

[A]

Yeah, that's right.

[I]

I'll just tell you this, Tom. Anybody that says that they are. They aren't, you have to listen to their words. Just like, go to any. Like, go to an Applebee's, and you look at the bar area right when you walk in, out, and you just see three guys staring at a woman's college basketball game that has a 46 point point differential. You know, like, why are they so into the game? There's a reason for that.

[D]

They.

[I]

They don't. They don't think there's going to be a comeback in the works. But, Tom, speaking about comeback, I got to tell you something I did last night that was super cool. So my girlfriend has a friend of hers that she's known forever, and her husband works for ual, the company that makes the Rocky rocket that launched the Artemis crew into space.

[D]

Wow.

[I]

So we, we went to his house yesterday, and he's just, you know, he's just telling me about how, like, when the astronauts come back, they'll come to their office and they just talk about. Because if you think about, like, once they get out of orbit, their rocket pushes them out of the Earth's orbit into the atmosphere, and they just talk about the rocket the way we would. Like if you went and test drove a car and how the transmission, like, oh, it went really smooth from second to third. And, you know, we really appreciated what you did. It's just like he just made a rocket last night and watched it launch. I was like, okay, yeah, it's the coolest thing I. I've ever seen. And him and son were watching it live on YouTube and they meet the crew, like, they knew the crew. Remember that crew that was stuck up in the. Stuck up in the atmosphere for like, nine months?

[A]

Sure.

[I]

Like, he just. He just knows them, man.

[D]

Yeah, they've been. Yeah, they've been getting ready for this for years.

[E]

Years.

[D]

So, yeah, a big moment. We've been talking about it a lot. We were talking about some recent studies about sperm in space.

[E]

Do you think they wear. Depends on takeoff. Just in case.

[I]

Christy Lee, do you think we didn't talk about that yesterday?

[E]

Are you serious?

[I]

What's my emotional age? Christy Lee, you've known me for 15 years. Of course we talked about this.

[E]

Well, because think about.

[C]

Sorry.

[I]

Christy Lee just asked if we talked about diapers yesterday in space. I was like, do you know me? Yes, we actually did.

[D]

I mean, they could. There's the famous scene in the Right Stuff. You're sitting in the capsule for hours and hours and hours and hours.

[A]

All right. You got permission to wet your diaper.

[E]

I was nervous on the ground watching. Can you imagine?

[D]

They can't move around once they're put in there in the beginning. Right.

[I]

They go in shifts in there. I like being able to move around in the ones that are kind of up front. Front. But in terms of the diaper situation, there's a couple things they do if they're not going. If they're only going to be gone for like a week. What they do is they can take something that slows your digestion down to the point where you won't have to.

[A]

Oh, that's right. Number two, I read until you.

[I]

Until you come back. But I was like, the way my comic brain thinks. I'm like, what if you just mistimed it a little bit, Chick. And then now you have to take a six day. Number two. Three hours before you land and you just have to go, hey, I'm. You just get out of the Rover and just be like, I'm sorry, bro. Yeah, it's.

[A]

Yeah.

[I]

But, yeah, I guess the running joke.

[G]

Oh, I said talk about splashdown.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[D]

I was thinking of Space Jam, but I. But my question, I think, in Christie's is when there's. When they're strapped in in the beginning.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

They're not floating around. They're locked in there in the capsule and the countdown. Because they were in there all day.

[I]

Right.

[D]

Did they. Do they have a diaper for that?

[I]

They absolutely have a diaper on.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

And just that excitement and then how your body would react to the.

[D]

And do they eat a normal breakfast or do they not eat for a period of time?

[E]

No. Shredded Wheat.

[A]

No, no. They're on a special diet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I know.

[D]

They're. I know. They're held in a. They sleep in a special place the couple days prior to going Up. I know that.

[I]

Yeah, they. They quarantine them so they don't get sick. It's like when you're about to testify against the mob, you have to go stay somewhere else. But yeah, they, they've talked about all this. I think, like, if we're going to be a species that goes to other planets, that's what we got to get down is like the bathroom sitch and the sex sitch.

[E]

Yeah.

[I]

Because you got to be able to like, procreate because you're going to be gone for a man minute.

[D]

Yeah. But we. I think that they're not going to be able to procreate because they'll figure it out. They're having trouble with the motility of the sperm. We were just reading about that. They did some tests, so you have

[J]

to make sure they can do one and they don't do the other. So going to space is a lot like running a summer camp.

[I]

Yeah.

[E]

Could they just send up embryos?

[D]

I can't imagine the time the gestation during zero gravity. They would have to screw something up.

[E]

Yeah, it's.

[D]

I mean, you're gonna get. You're gonna give a. Give birth to a kid where one of his feet is his head.

[J]

This might be a. This might be a childish question, but we're talking about like bathrooms in space. I just want to know, are they going to have like a crescent moon on the door like every outhouse?

[G]

Are they on. On when the space station is on the moon? Are they going to have the Earth?

[I]

Oh, that's smart.

[J]

Apparently they.

[I]

It stinks in there.

[G]

Right.

[I]

Because you know, they can't let the air out. So just imagine, just like. Have you ever been to like your homeboys crib when he's been like, like just watching football on a long weekend and you walk in on Monday and

[A]

you're like, flush until the girls show up.

[I]

Exactly, exactly.

[G]

I'm not wasting.

[D]

You might find this hard to believe. I don't really think I have anyone. I would consider my homeboy, Tom.

[I]

You've got who, who's your best homie, Tom?

[D]

My homies. So I hang out with a couple people. People.

[A]

You better say Pat or there's going to be trouble.

[D]

Yeah, I've been to Pat's apartment. It wasn't foul by any means.

[F]

It's very clean.

[D]

Great compliment, Tom Mark's house.

[A]

Very clean. That's really nice. It wasn't foul at all. What a nice.

[D]

I remember reading about the. The recovery crews when they would pick up the Mercury and the Apollo astronauts and they would open up the capsule, and apparently it was. They were glad they were wearing scuba gear in some cases, because it was brutal.

[A]

Brutal. Oh, yeah.

[D]

We're talking with comedian Al Jackson, and the way this works, dj, is Al tries to enlighten me into such phrases as homeboys as opposed to friends. Al is a little bit hipper than I am. Do we have a word today I need to learn or a phrase? Al.

[I]

Tom, let's start with a phrase that I love. And you may be able to put this together through context, but, Tom, what is the. When would you use the phrase no notes?

[D]

Okay. Is this in a musical situation or a. As in taking notes and radio. Writing things down?

[I]

Yeah, just taking notes and writing things down.

[D]

Okay. Meaning kind of like, I got this. I don't need to take notes. I understand exactly what's happening.

[F]

That.

[I]

That's a great guess. Not really. It's more of a compliment. So if Christy Lee says, guys, don't worry, I'm. I'm making Thanksgiving this year, we'll be like, all right. And people will be like, how was Christy Lee Thanksgiving? She killed it. Turkey. She had duck. She had fish, but she killed it. No, no notes. Like, just meaning, like, she was 100 across the board.

[D]

Oh. So like I said. Does this come from a script? Yeah, they go, yeah, Reddit gave her back some notes.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Okay, good.

[C]

Yeah.

[I]

So I can apply to an outfit or anything?

[J]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay, cool. That's a good one to know. Got one. I got room for one more. What do you got?

[I]

All right, Tom, let's do a roommate syndrome. What's that,

[D]

boy? Is this. Is this a male, female, non hookup?

[I]

You are in the right.

[D]

Or someone else. Like, a man wants to get a female roommate, but she doesn't want to hook up. She just wants to be the roommate.

[I]

Yeah, I just. Tom, it's hard to answer you because you're referring to these people, like a scientist, the dude and the chick, the

[A]

male and the female.

[I]

But, yeah, no, you're right. It's. It's more of a romantic situation where you're just. You're like, I don't know what it is. You know, I. I'm still attracted to her. We've been together for three years. But, you know, it's just roommate syndrome at this point. Like, there's nothing cooking in the bedroom.

[D]

I see. It's evolved into the friend zone thing.

[A]

Oh, that's interesting.

[I]

I would think that's a. How many people accidentally or, like, you know, hook up with their roommate and they're like, oh, it's kind of hot, like a rom com. And then it's just weird until the end of the lease that's got. They never make that movie where they're like, we shouldn't have done that. And now I feel kind of weird when she brings a guy over. I think, like, if you're gonna be in the same with, like, if you hook up with somebody in your apartment complex and you're like, oh, this is meant to be, and then it's just weird on the elevator for nine more months.

[H]

Yeah.

[J]

From now on, when a sitcom falls off, I'm going to assume that happened. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[J]

That's what happened.

[D]

Yeah. How about that? Do you like to grocery shop, Al?

[I]

I love it.

[D]

Yeah, me too.

[I]

I love it.

[D]

What do you do? You say you're grocery shopping, and then you run into someone in the store you haven't seen for 10 years, and then you talk to them for a while, then you move on, Then you run into them again five minutes later

[E]

because you're going, opposite aisle.

[D]

That's really awkward. Oh, I haven't seen you for 10 years, and I was hoping it'd be another 10.

[I]

It happens in the workplace, too. When you see somebody in the hallway and you acknowledge them, you're like, hey, how you doing? And then, like, you see them, like, two minutes later going the opposite, and you're just like, do we speak again? Did we already speak? And then. Then it's. But then if you stare straight ahead, then it's like, what's your problem? So I don't know. It's a very weird thing. Once you've said goodbye, you really don't need to see that person for at least another 24.

[D]

But I do. Like, is it roommate syndrome?

[I]

Roommate syndrome, yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

A lot of people.

[D]

Yeah, that's good.

[I]

A lot of people, I think.

[E]

Yeah, a lot of people.

[D]

That's very good. Well, thanks, everyone. Al, are you on the road? What's going on in your life? I know you're going to see some baseball.

[I]

Yeah, I'm gonna see some baseball. This Friday, I will be at the Creek in the Cave headlining in Austin, Texas, April 10th and 11th. So come check me out there. But, yeah, just go enjoy some baseball and. And let's get ready for the summer. How about that?

[D]

Okay, well, have some street tacos for me in Austin.

[I]

I got you.

[A]

Oh, the best food.

[I]

100. I'm gonna get there a day early and try to eat my way through that city.

[D]

All right. Thank you very much, Al. Right now I look across the way and I see Chick Magee.

[A]

That's right. We all want to feel safe. You know that. I chose Simplisafe because they have a better way. Comprehensive protection. Sensors, cameras, 24. 7 monitoring. But on my terms. Easy to get secured. You can customize the system and you can install it yourself. Let's put it this way. I installed it myself. Just go to simplisafe.com with the app guided setup and no drill required. Install and arm your system in about 45 minutes. No need to wait around for some technician appointment between the hours of 2 and 4. Not with SimpliSafe. Comprehensive protection. Not just a camera. It's a comprehensive system. Sensors, cameras inside and out. 24. 7 professional monitoring. And in the event of a break in a fire or flood, Simplisafe's agents take action. No long term contracts. No lock ins or hidden cancellation features. They earn your business by keeping you safe, not by trapping you in a contract. Affordable pricing too. 24. 7 monitoring for a fraction of what the traditional brands charge. And customer first. SimpliSafe named best customer service by Newsweek. And over 5 million people trust SimpliSafe every day. What has two thumbs and trust SimpliSafe? This guy. We want you to experience the same peace of mind we all do. Which is why we've partnered with SimpliSafe to offer an exclusive discount. Right now you get 50% off your new system just by visiting SimpliSafe. Tom.com you hoid me 50% off. Go to SimpliSafeTom.com and remember, there's no safe like SimpliSafe.

[D]

Thank you very much, Chick. A couple things I'd like to mention. Comedian Tim Allen, good friend of the show, is going to be. It looks like you. He's going to be in Las Vegas at the David Copperfield Theater coming up on Saturday, April 18. That should be a terrific show. Now, I'll also mention that DJ Dangler is going to be in Louisville at Planet of the Tapes coming up a week from yesterday night. Is that correct? The. The. The 8th of April. And also while I'm at it, we're going to talk with Tom Mabe, comedian, who's going to be our guest in just a few minutes. He is in Louisville. Louisville. He's at the Caravan. As they say goodbye to the Caravan,

[A]

we'll talk with Tom a week from yesterday night.

[E]

What? Who says that?

[A]

Last night you talk in an interesting fashion.

[J]

Yesterday.

[D]

Yesterday night I couldn't find the piece of paper I had in front of

[A]

me that had a real you. You ad libbed like a champ.

[D]

I think I got the.

[C]

No.

[D]

One caught it. The gist of it out, if you will.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay. And you're. And you're welcome. Now we'll be returning with all of those things and thank you.

[G]

You.

[D]

The O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio is our location. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob, Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[E]

Hello, sir.

[A]

There's Pat Godwin.

[F]

Hey, Chick.

[D]

Josh Arnold.

[A]

Hello. Hi, Josh, Pat, Pat, Josh, Pat.

[G]

How are you?

[A]

Good to see.

[C]

How are you?

[G]

Yeah, I've heard a lot about you.

[A]

There's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick McGee at the orange insouls.com sports desk. In the house with us, DJ Dangler. And I believe we have another guest coming up, Tom.

[D]

I believe we're gonna look at the big screen in a minute. And there he is. It's a comedian, Tom Mabe. Hey, Tom, how are you?

[H]

Hey, guys.

[D]

Tom is one of the fellas that will be closing up shop at the Caravan in Louisville. It's my understanding that the particular mall they're in is being redone or torn down or something, right?

[H]

Called the Mid City Mall. Now they're going to call it the Mid City Market. Put some grocery stores in there, things of that nature.

[D]

So there'll be no stand up comedy there anymore.

[H]

No, no stand up comedy.

[E]

Not amongst the oranges. Wouldn't that be fun? Go to the grocery. You got a guy doing stand up in the produce aisle.

[H]

No tomatoes.

[D]

I'll give that a big no. Thank. In any event, there, you're going to be one of the last comedians there.

[E]

There.

[D]

You'll be there this close this month.

[H]

They closed this month. And dude, you know what's crazy? For 25, 25 years ago, you guys kind of made me pretty popular. I was trying to. And I was, I was selling out the Comedy Caravan as an emcee and I, I couldn't, I couldn't follow the local DJ giving away, you know, free T shirts. And it was, it was funny people going, leaving the Comedy Caravan twenty something years ago going, at least the CDs are funny. So it's a, it's kind of a bittersweet thing.

[D]

But you'll be there starting tonight. Am I getting this right?

[H]

Yes, Thursday through Saturday.

[D]

Okay. Now you're famous on this show for various stunts involving phone calls, et cetera, et cetera. We opened our show with one this Morning. Now what do you do when you're doing stand up on stage?

[H]

You know, I do a traditional stand up. I'm very clean. I knew, I knew I was going to never be, you know, at Chris Rock or anything or very famous like that.

[D]

That.

[H]

So I guess my gimmick is just I'm a clean comic. I talk about pranks, talk about just life, you know, with my kids and things of that nature.

[D]

How old are your kids? Oh, geez, God.

[H]

26 and 23. My son, my son is a quirky like myself and he's, he's doing these pranks now. He's. I'm a videotaping these pranks and my wife says, you might want to get up to Tatoesville Road where I live. And my son put a grim reaper outfit on gun. And he, he stood up from the funeral home in J Town, Kentucky and was waving the people as they drove by wearing a gray reaper outfit.

[D]

That's, that's probably.

[A]

Is that right?

[D]

Probably.

[H]

Is that right? Oh, there it is. Chick McGee, you responsible for 25 years of therapy.

[A]

Thank you. That's exactly right.

[D]

Well, did the, did the funeral home people come out and.

[H]

Yeah, we, we put, we put it up and we got a cease and desist from their law firm.

[D]

Oh, I can see that happening. My favorite stunt that you did, and it was very elaborate and I'll let you tell the story, but the essence of it was you had a friend who was repeatedly getting intoxicated to the point that he would pass out. You know where I'm going with this?

[H]

Yeah, we called him pass out. And unfortunately, my friend is a simple individual, but he literally, you can Google it. He had five DUIs. And we knew that he was going to hurt himself or hurt someone else. So we took one of my offices and we made it look exactly like a hospital room. And we just thought. I said, hey, next time he gets drunk and passes out, get him to my office. And I mean, we should drive. We just take a Sharpie and dry draw like your eyebrows on his face. You know, he wouldn't wake up. So we got him to the office and we finally did wake up. Up. We told him he was in a coma for 10 years. And we even had like futuristic, no news up there. We had like President Hillary Clinton and all these, all these things from the future. So yeah, he, he was, you know, last I heard, he was still sober. And we did that almost eight years ago.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Is that, how does one find that? That is genuinely hilarious. He really thinks I Think any.

[H]

Any social platform form. Epic dui. Just type in Tom made epic dui. Yeah. That got over a billion views and obviously did your show, Good Morning America, all the inside editions, all that stuff. It was a good. It was a good little psa.

[D]

Is that your most viewed video?

[A]

No, the.

[H]

The one with you on it is my most view. The crime scene where the guy called from Littleton, Colorado, and I convinced him he was a homicide. I was a homicide detective. Did you know, Mr. Mabe, that was. That's my most viewed.

[A]

Let's say I'm gonna mail your.

[D]

Okay, why don't we.

[A]

I'll know your ass letter.

[D]

Why don't we dig that up and we. We can feature that. And I'll remind everybody that beginning this evening, you're going to be a part of the goodbye ceremonies, if you will, for the Caravan, sometimes called the Comedy Caravan in Lowell. And, well, let's hope that they either relocate or something. So there's a great place we're looking

[H]

for Location storm right now, man. We hate to see it go away.

[D]

Okay, well, thanks, Tom. Always a pleasure. Best of luck.

[G]

See you, Tom.

[H]

Thank you.

[D]

Yeah, that, that video that he mentioned with the guy passed out is so funny. And especially the fake newscast of the future if you watch it. A lot of that stuff kind of.

[A]

Of.

[D]

Well, there's a couple things probably not appropriate to mention right now. I'm going to dig up that other thing, but while we do that, we're looking for it.

[A]

We got the boys in the back.

[D]

We'll talk to Christie Lee. What's going on over there, Christie?

[E]

Dating experts say the emojis you use in text messages can affect how you are perceived, especially early on in a relationship. Lauren Tenbaum, a New York City psychotherapist, says folks should avoid using exaggerated facial expressions like the laugh crying emoji, unless it truly fits the tone of the conversation. She also advises against using sexually suggestive emojis in serious or. Or early interactions, like the panting face flame eggplant water droplets, which of course can come across as inappropriate in some situations.

[G]

In that order.

[E]

I don't know if it's in that order. I'm not. I don't use the emojis like that. Matchmaker.

[D]

If you're first dating someone and they're starting to use emojis. I mean, unless you're whatever, 19.

[E]

I mean, really, people use emojis that are older than 19? Absolutely. Yeah.

[G]

We're not saying it's right, but that's the case.

[E]

Yes. I mean, matchmaker Bonnie Winston adds that messaging choices reflect your personality, saying, quote, you are what you said. Experts also note that even common emojis, like the thumbs up can sometimes be interpreted as dismissive or passive aggressive.

[A]

That's my problem. I apply inflection to all my texts. A certain value, and people don't, you know, hey, good to talk to you. And it's like, hey, good to talk to you. That's what I hear in my brain. Oh, really? It's a problem. Oh, yeah.

[D]

And then we've determined there is not a sarcasm font want.

[A]

So they do have an italicized. It kind of bends to the right.

[D]

Does that mean.

[A]

I don't know.

[J]

I. I kind of feel like emojis

[E]

serve that purpose of being sarcastic.

[J]

Just letting you know, like, yeah, this is me not being too serious about anything. Like, if I'm. If there's a picture involved, you don't really have to pay attention to what I'm saying.

[E]

Gotcha.

[D]

Yeah, I. And what. What is the water droplets that has a orgasm jizz? Eggplant droplets.

[E]

I said orgasm.

[D]

I was a little bit subtle.

[E]

Orgasm.

[A]

You can have an orgasm without anything, you know, so I mean ghostly or empty. Yeah.

[D]

Okay, so it's. So it's eggplant.

[A]

What is it? Don't forget peaches.

[E]

Peaches. Yeah, that's right.

[A]

Let's talk about that.

[D]

So if you do eggplant. Peaches. Water droplets, that.

[G]

No, you would do peach. Actually, you would do eggplant water droplets. Peach, meaning I want to. On your ass.

[A]

I don't know about that.

[G]

If you want to do it on her ass.

[J]

Well, no, you have eggplant, then a smiley face.

[A]

No, no, plant. Peach. And then you're satisfied.

[E]

Are you guys happy?

[D]

No, No.

[G]

I think the water droplets are coming out of the eggplant. Yeah, that's the whole.

[D]

Huh?

[G]

Yeah.

[J]

This makes it almost impossible to brag about your peach cobbler or eggplant parmesan.

[D]

What if you really had a great eggplant dish? Brings tears to your eyes and it was raining outside.

[J]

Hot, sexy eggplant parmesan.

[A]

This information I'm getting from Josh, all my texts are wrong right now.

[G]

You've been confusing women all over the place.

[D]

Right now, I'd like to feature the aforementioned phone call. This is an actual phone call as received by Mr. Tom Mitchell.

[C]

Hello? Yes, can I speak with Tom Mabe? He's calling. Well, this is Mike. You've been selected to receive a complete digital satellite system for free. With this, you're going to. Let me ask you Something. Did you know Tom May? Were you a friend of his? No, I'm not. I'm just calling to.

[B]

Hold on.

[G]

Hold that thought.

[C]

Hold on one second. All right? Hey, guys. Get really good pictures of the body. Yeah, and dust everything down for Prince Mikey there. Let me bring you up to speed. You've actually called a murder scene? Mr. May is no longer with us. I'm Officer Clark. I'm conducting a homicide investigation. I want to ask you a series of questions. First, what was the nature of the business you had with Tom? Ma, I. I had no business with him.

[B]

I'm.

[C]

I'm sorry to. Hold on. Look, I want to ask you to stay on the phone. This call's already been traced, and we may need you to come in for further questioning. You don't understand. I'm just calling on. No, no, you don't understand. Unless you want to be charged with obstruction of justice, it's imperative you keep your ass on the phone line. How about you just talk with my supervisor? No, no, no. Look, look, we'll get your supervisor in a second here. Go. First of all, give me your whereabouts. I'm at work. You're at work? Yeah. You being a smart ass? No, sir. Let me put it to you this way, Mike. Like, say. Say I wanted to mail your ass a letter. What would I have to write on the outside of that envelope to assure the mailman would deliver it right to your ass? Geographically speaking, Mike, we're his work. 40 West Littleton, Colorado. Now, hold on. That's. Yes, sir. Hold on one second. All right. Yeah, get the level of police department department, homicide division on the phone. Yeah, give him this information. Tell him he's being sought. Connection with a fatal shooting and aggravated robbery. How did you know Mr. Maybe again. Wait, you're. You're calling the Littleton Police Department? I'm hundreds of miles away. I don't even know the guy. I'm.

[B]

I'm in Colorado.

[A]

Don't.

[C]

Don't let that scare you. That's just a formality.

[A]

I mean, it's not.

[B]

No.

[C]

Tell me again, where were you last night between the hours of 8 and 10? I'm not feeling real comfortable about any of this. Have you even ever spoken with Mr. Maid? Mike? No, I haven't. I don't even know the guy. That's what I've been trying to tell. Calm down, calm down. Hold on. Look, just back up. I got one more question for you, Mike, as you well know, I'm sure Mr. May was a homosexual. There's no easy way of asking that. I don't want to embarrass you or nothing, but were you his gay lover? What?

[B]

No.

[D]

What?

[C]

What the hell kind of a quiz. Look, look, look, look. Gay your way. That's okay. I still know there's a lot of you gay people in that closet. I'm not saying I haven't thought about myself. Say I was in Las Vegas or something, couple drinks, cute little Mexican with a sand brown.

[D]

That's. That's Tom made. That is a classic.

[A]

Hello.

[D]

Speaking of classic, one of the classic things in your body, of course, your feet. They're important. They're important.

[A]

They are classic.

[D]

They're the foundations of classicism.

[K]

Yes.

[J]

Remember they tried to break out new feet and everybody rejected them.

[A]

Actually, though, with most people, ideally, it's the newest part of your body because they're born last. Right?

[J]

Very good.

[A]

I would think so.

[D]

You know something? This show really is a lot about science today.

[A]

I'm just trying to help.

[D]

But the best thing about your feet, of course, is having them comfortable.

[G]

Yes. Yes. That means the rest of your body is probably comfortable as well. If you've got a strong foundation, everything above that is doing just fine. But not all of us are that lucky. Feet get tired, arches collapse, Heels ache, knees complain, lower backs tighten up. A lot of people just go, well, I'm getting older. Dems da brakes.

[C]

No.

[G]

It could very well be that foundation Tom was alluding to. Get some orange insoles. They help maintain alignment as your feet and legs fatigue, thusly reducing stress on your knees, hips, and lower back. Orange insoles deliver rigid arch support that don't collapse by lunchtime. Unlike those do nothing liners in your shoes that come with your shoes, boy, those are just useless. But not orange insoles. They've got deep heel cups that cradle your heels and absorb shock naturally. And they're built for real people. That's you out there working on construction sites, teaching, serving, doing some nursing work. Whatever you're doing out there, if you've ever said your feet are killing you, well, you might just need some orange insoles, visit orangeinsouls.com order more and save with orange insoles. Bundle packs. DJ Dangler. You wear boots? Yeah, they're durable enough for boots. In fact, we're handing you some orange insoles right now.

[J]

Yeah, I'm gonna put them on. I'm excited.

[G]

All right. Be sure to use promo code Bob and Tom when you go to Orangeinsouls.

[D]

And by the way, I'm not saying DJ Dangler is large feet, but you could Use those as surfboards. Okay, back to you.

[G]

That's promo code Bob and Tom at checkout to receive $5 off your total order. Plus you're going to get free shipping in the USA. Orange inSouls.com promo code Bob and Tom.

[D]

Thank you very much. Coming up, we have helicopters and dogs and monkeys and possums in a quick animal related newscast with Christy Lee. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[L]

This is the Bob and Tom Show. Reach us toll free at 1-888-BOB- tom1 or@bob&tom.com this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Chrissy Lee at the news desk.

[E]

Hi.

[A]

There's Pat Godwin.

[C]

Hello.

[A]

Ace Cosby's here.

[D]

Hello.

[A]

I'm Chick McGee and Tom, we have a, we have a special guest in the studio just hanging out.

[D]

That is comedian DJ Dangle.

[J]

That's me.

[D]

Very tall, huge feet.

[A]

Yes, big feet.

[D]

Gigantic beard and knock them over.

[E]

Big hands. Don't forget that part.

[D]

We were just talking about the club known as the Caravan in Louisville which is closing down as they, as they make, they're turning it I guess into a grocery store. Yeah. Am I correct in saying you have a history there?

[J]

Yeah, I have. I actually I got married in the comedy Caravan. Yeah, I had my, my first wedding was in the comedy.

[A]

Well, how, how did that go?

[D]

Not great.

[J]

It, it was, it was my, it was like I Dream of Genie.

[A]

Okay.

[J]

Cuz my wife lived in a bottle.

[D]

I didn't see that coming. Have you been married more than once?

[A]

No, no, no.

[J]

It was just the one.

[D]

Just that take.

[J]

Yeah. Not for me.

[D]

You said first as if you're planning another one.

[E]

I never know.

[J]

Yeah, I, I, I, I pretty much know o love being a single man. Like I know it's weird and low. Like I can't be that afraid as a single man. Does that make sense? Like there's not much to be if the Hunger Games happen. For me it's just uppers and weird haircuts. I have no fear in this world.

[A]

That's right. Yeah.

[D]

Are you, are you still out there looking or, or participating in any way

[J]

and they not hard I, I came I'm so terrified of women. I know that I have four big sisters and a pretty predictable flinch.

[A]

Does that make sense? Yeah, that makes absolute sense.

[D]

Yeah.

[J]

Like it's just I, I can't keep up.

[D]

I know you're into a variety of unusual Things, Yes.

[A]

Oh, really? Yeah.

[E]

I mean, like, wrestling, right?

[D]

Yeah. You're very. You're very into wrestling. And on. Especially, like, the independent.

[J]

I love it.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[J]

Grittier the better.

[D]

Now, are you personally able to rest? Are you in good shape? Have you been hitting the gym?

[J]

I. I'm. You want to go? Is that what you're saying, Tom? Because we'll do this.

[A]

Don't call him out.

[J]

No, I am not. I'm not grappling. Grappling with anybody. No.

[A]

But I love.

[J]

I love calling the action.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[I]

Do you.

[D]

But do you work out at all?

[J]

Oh, I'm. I'm in terrible shape. And can I tell you, maybe that's why I'm not dating. Like, it. I hate my body right now. Can I be.

[E]

Can I. Yeah, you could say that.

[J]

Like. I'm gonna level with you. This isn't. I've gotta. I'm getting too tubby to do what I wanna do. Like in bed.

[D]

Oh, it's a young man's game.

[J]

I've got a crab leg wiener.

[C]

Pat.

[J]

There's.

[A]

Now, what does that mean?

[J]

There's plenty of meat there.

[A]

Okay.

[J]

If you know how to get to it.

[A]

Okay.

[J]

That's not what anybody wants. That's not what anybody wants.

[D]

Is that in some kind of hip dictionary that. I. I can look that up.

[G]

Okay, you can.

[J]

You can ask Al Jackson if he

[D]

knows that maybe we'll throw. Maybe we'll give that to him next week. I'll give you full credit. That's what I'm working with, the crab leg wiener.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Y.

[D]

There's plenty of meat if you can get to it. Yeah. Okay. I got.

[J]

I wrote that as an artichoke joke, but it didn't work like that at all.

[D]

We got exactly where you're going. You have a peculiar look.

[J]

I think I. I know. I'm like. I am nothing like regular handsome, because I never just get a compliment. Like, nobody just said. Like, if somebody says something nice to me, it's gonna have two parts to it, and one part's gonna be kind of mean. Like. Like, I get conditional compliments. Like, you look like a homeless professor.

[A]

They try to be up about it.

[J]

You look like a sexy caveman. That is not a thing. You look like if a possum was a millionaire. Yeah, that's inaruably an insult.

[D]

You're just being. Can we squeeze in? This is a story I saw on the international news of the day involving a possum.

[E]

Travelers got a real surprise when a live possum appeared among the plush toys in an Australian airport gift shop.

[A]

Hilarious.

[D]

Have you seen the video of this?

[E]

Yeah, browsing. Passenger first spotted the Australian Australian brushtail possum peering out from among the toy kangaroos.

[A]

Possums are just disgusting.

[J]

Australian possums.

[G]

Better looking.

[C]

Not.

[E]

I think they might be.

[A]

Maybe they're on.

[E]

This was at the.

[D]

Do they spell it with the. Is the O in front of it?

[A]

No, it's a brush.

[E]

Not in this story.

[A]

They don't brush it.

[E]

Yeah, it's just a P, O, S,

[J]

S, O, M. They're not Irish.

[D]

The opossum.

[E]

This was at Tasmania's Hobart airport in the departure terminal. Airport retail manager Liam Bloomfield said the passenger reported the animal to one of the staff members on shift who couldn't quite believe what she was hearing.

[D]

It's it. It's like the ET scene. There it is.

[J]

Oh, God.

[D]

There's a bunch of stuffed animals and unless you look really careful.

[A]

Oh, there he is. Oh, he is cuter than our way cuter.

[D]

But it looks just like the ET thing.

[A]

Like much cube computer.

[E]

Yeah, he was eventually. I eventually left the shop and was removed by airport staff unharmed.

[D]

They knew it wasn't one of the stuffed animals because it wasn't $800. They really marked stuff up at the air.

[A]

They are proud of theirs.

[D]

Oh, by the way, Christy, to answer your question, yes sir. Earlier we were talking about the experimental toilet on board the space shuttle. The astronauts, when they're waiting for launch, they are wearing what are called mags, Maximum absorbency garments.

[E]

See, I would be wearing that just because it would scare me out of me.

[D]

They have to wear them because they are. They are there up to 10 hours before a launch in the capsule.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

If you Google mags MH with regard to NASA, you'll. There's a bunch of videos about it, but obviously they need it. It's interesting. Now we certainly appreciate you being here, dj.

[A]

Thank you.

[D]

Love your stuff and best of luck. Perhaps you'll meet some gorgeous babe in one of your forthcoming events.

[J]

Gorgeous, low maintenance babe. That's all I need.

[D]

Now you're getting picky. Yeah, you know, with a peculiar look. The maintenance thing may come in big time. We certainly appreciate your listening compliment right there. Yeah. By the way, the pop up shop has popped up. Check it out @bob and tom.com. these are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[L]

For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom show contest rules, go to Bob and Contest Rules or just scroll down to the bottom of the page. And see contest rules. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[D]

Next Roll with Vernon Davis.

[I]

I'm your host, Vernon Davis. Okay, y', all, thank you. Thank you.

[D]

That's enough.

[I]

Today we have Dietrich Wise.

[D]

Through my example, on the field, off the field, during game day, in practice, that was one way that I led, because then it led to success.

[G]

Next roll isn't about what's next. It's about why they do it.

[I]

My man. Dominant to you finally reach this pinnacle. But can you actually close a deal out? And then to be able to close it out, that is one of the biggest joys. That's powerful, man.

[D]

Next Roll with Vernon Davis. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.