The BOB & TOM Show - April 30, 2025

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show - April 30, 2025: Comprehensive Summary

Hosted by The BOB & TOM Show | Cumulus Podcast Network

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1. Opening Advertisements and Comedy Sketches

Progressive Insurance Promotion [00:03 - 00:53] The episode begins with an advertisement for Progressive Insurance, highlighting their "Name Your Price" tool aimed at helping listeners budget and potentially lower their car insurance bills.

Comedy Sketch: King Charles [01:10 - 03:06] Tom and Josh kick off the show with a humorous musical sketch about King Charles, affectionately dubbed "King Chuck." The song playfully explores Charles' unexpected ascension to the throne at age 73, touching on royal family quirks and anecdotes.

Notable Quote:

Josh [01:19]: "Charles was a young prince. He never thought he'd be finally ruling England at the age of 73."

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2. Staff Introductions and Light Banter

Introduction of Staff Members [03:26 - 04:55] Christy Lee welcomes listeners, introducing herself as part of the SILAC Insurance news desk. The hosts engage in playful banter about tanning booths and the challenges of maintaining olive skin versus getting sunburned.

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3. Java House Coffee Promotion and Office Update

Java House Advertisement [11:23 - 13:38] Tom enthusiastically promotes Java House as the official coffee and refreshments of the show. He describes the innovative, self-contained coffee concentrates that listeners can use without a machine. Additionally, Tom introduces the new Office H2O system, a convenient water dispenser installed at the studio to replace traditional five-gallon jugs.

Notable Quote:

Tom [12:21]: "Java House, the official coffee of the Bob and Tom Show. And the official refreshments of the Bob and Tom Show."

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4. Sports Updates and Listener Incidents

NBA Playoffs Highlight [13:38 - 16:07] Christy Lee covers the NBA playoffs, focusing on the Indiana Pacers' thrilling overtime victory against the Milwaukee Bucks. Tyrese Halliburton's decisive play and his father's post-game confrontation with Giannis Antetokounmpo are discussed, emphasizing sportsmanship and the intense nature of playoff games.

Notable Quote:

Christy [13:38]: "Halliburton blows past Giannis for the go-ahead layup with 1.3 seconds left to give the Pacers a 1:19, 1:18 victory and a 4:1 series win."

SUV Catches Fire after Lightning Strike [05:56 - 07:02] Tom brings attention to a bizarre news story where an SUV caught fire after being struck by lightning on the interstate, detailing the incident's unusual nature and the ensuing fire response.

Notable Quote:

Tom [06:09]: "Nobody hurt. Good. That's good."

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5. Listener Letters and Interactive Segments

Gorillas vs. 100 Men Debate [15:42 - 19:01] Multiple listeners submit letters pondering the outcome of a hypothetical fight between one gorilla and 100 men. The hosts debate the scenario, considering the gorilla's strength and the humanity of the men involved.

Notable Quote:

Tom [18:00]: "A gorilla is eight to 30 times stronger than a man."

Fishing Tools Preference [19:39 - 21:05] Listeners inquire about the preference between trick worms and wacky style worms for fishing. The hosts discuss various fishing techniques, sharing personal preferences and experiences.

Notable Quote:

Josh [19:38]: "Do you use real night crawlers?"

Sexual Fetish Discussions [93:01 - 106:32] A series of listener letters delve into topics such as armpit fetishes, chastity belts, and cuckolding. The hosts engage in candid and humorous discussions about these sensitive subjects, offering advice and comedic relief.

Notable Quote:

Chick [101:08]: "Chastity, belts and locks and all kinds of things involved. It's definitely."

Birthday Suit Bandit Report [107:32 - 142:56] Chick reports on a Florida incident involving the "Birthday Suit Bandit," a naked man attempting burglary. The segment highlights the police response and the peculiar nature of the suspect's actions.

Notable Quote:

Chick [107:38]: "A crowd was seen running. The man was taken into custody for attempted burglary, exposure of sex organs, and criminal mischief."

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6. Guest Segment: Comedian Ali Breen and "Sexy Time"

Introduction of Ali Breen [136:37 - 147:00] Ali Breen, a stand-up comedian, joins the show for the "Sexy Time" segment. She shares personal anecdotes and humorous takes on relationships, such as discovering her partner's unexpected stash of sex toys.

Listener Letter:

Ali Breen [141:01]: "Shouldn't sex toys be like Christy's underwear, where they get replaced after each relationship?"

Notable Quote:

Ali [141:01]: "But he's kept them, so I guess that's still."

Advice on Relationship Issues [147:29 - 154:34] Ali receives a letter from a listener struggling with her partner's premature finitude during dates and his excessive spending habits. The hosts provide comedic yet insightful advice on handling such relationship dynamics.

Notable Quote:

Josh [142:02]: "If you wanna call a group of idiots, say, a congress of idiots."

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7. Humorous Banter and Pop Culture References

Nose Hair Trimmer Conversation [45:00 - 48:38] The hosts engage in a light-hearted discussion about grooming habits, particularly focusing on nose hair trimmers. The conversation includes jokes about personal grooming and light teasing among hosts.

Notable Quote:

Tom [45:33]: "Does it look like I have boogers in my... You're playing with your nostrils."

Discussion on Friday the 13th Movie [105:10 - 115:18] Josh reminisces about watching "Freddy vs. Jason," providing humorous insights and critiques of iconic horror movie moments.

Notable Quote:

Josh [117:00]: "I was in the theater, and this is a spoiler alert. Jason is dead, and his mask is sitting there in the dirt... Freddy's glove comes out and grabs the mask and pulls it under, and we went, what the hell?"

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8. Promotions and Advertisements

Multiple Product Advertisements [Various Timestamps] Throughout the episode, several advertisements are interspersed, promoting products such as AutoZone, Simplisafe, Raycon earbuds, and others. These ads are integrated seamlessly into the show, often accompanied by humor and host interactions.

Notable Quote:

Tom [56:00]: "Java House sounds like it'd be a really cool band, doesn't it?"

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9. Closing Remarks and Upcoming Segments

Final Musings and Upcoming Features [155:00 - End] As the show draws to a close, Tom teases upcoming segments like "Sexy Time with Ali Breen" and recaps some of the day's humorous discussions. The hosts encourage listeners to engage via email and social media, maintaining the interactive spirit of the show.

Notable Quote:

Tom [155:08]: "This is the Bob and Tom Show. Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning."

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Conclusion

The April 30, 2025, episode of The BOB & TOM Show offers a blend of humor, interactive listener engagement, sports updates, and candid discussions on various topics. The hosts maintain their signature comedic style while addressing current events and personal anecdotes, ensuring an entertaining and engaging experience for both regular listeners and newcomers.

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This summary captures the essence and key elements of the episode, providing a comprehensive overview for those who haven't tuned in.

Transcript

[Tom]

This episode brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Shifting a little money here, a little there, hoping it all works out well.

[Josh]

With the name your price tool from.

[Tom]

Progressive, you can get a better budgeter and potentially lower your insurance bill too. You tell Progressive what you want to pay for car insurance, and they'll help find you options within your budget. Try it [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.

[Christy]

It's the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh]

Charles was a young prince. He never thought he'd be finally ruling England at the age of 73.

[Chick]

The.

[Josh]

Queen was his mama she used the Oxford comma Born in the royal palace hands never callous King Chuck.

[Tom]

Now that.

[Josh]

His mama's gone I hope he doesn't fail. What exactly did he do as the fancy Prince of Wales? King Chuck his teeth and ears look big and funny Will they fit on stamps and money or in the royal palace hands never callous King Chuck.

[Tom]

The.

[Josh]

Queen, she had her corgis Prince Andrew had his orgies he's wild that brother Andy On Epstein Island Duke got rain.

[Tom]

Day Prince Harry moved for good out.

[Josh]

To Hollywood King Chuck.

[Tom]

Chuck Charles loves.

[Josh]

The polo ponies and dressing up for ceremony King Ching ch He wears a kilt Please don't stare he's not wearing underwear finally gets to rule Cause he's.

[Tom]

Got the family jewels King Chunk he.

[Josh]

Married Diana they had a castle and a villa but all the time he dreamed about the homely one Camilla couldn't wait to get his hands on Corny Chuck oh, no. Said he'd like to be her tamp Royal palace has the royal palace so bold.

[Tom]

It won't be long.

[Josh]

We'll have to write another song.

[Tom]

King.

[Christy]

Hey. Hello. Show started. I had no idea. Hello. Good morning. Oh, I know. I was out on my feet. It's the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom]

Bob and Tom.

[Christy]

Christy Lee at the silo Black Insurance news desk.

[Chick]

Hello.

[Christy]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Josh]

Hi, Chick.

[Christy]

Hello, Josh. Arnold.

[Josh]

Hi there.

[Christy]

How are you?

[Josh]

Good, man. How about you?

[Christy]

Not too bad.

[Josh]

Good.

[Christy]

We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Hello, Tom.

[Tom]

Hello, Chick.

[Chick]

Dan. Yesterday.

[Christy]

How are you? Yesterday. I'll explain this in a minute.

[Chick]

Oh, okay.

[Christy]

Yeah. Oh, I don't know what's going on with my. My skin, but, you know, I went to the tanning booth. This was. This was exposed last week and we should explain.

[Tom]

You are. You are dark complected.

[Christy]

I'm olive skinned.

[Tom]

I couldn't get near. If I stand in front of a tanning booth, and outside, I'd get sunburned.

[Christy]

So I can go to a tanning booth, like, once a week. And the day after I go to the tanning booth, there's no real change. But, like, the day after, the day after, it's like poop. And that's what this is.

[Tom]

And you go to which one is it? Melanomas. Over there on Castleton.

[Chick]

Well, I'd like to act like he.

[Christy]

Was interested just to thank Suntan City for trying to sponsor the Sports Desk. I'd appreciate that, but.

[Tom]

Huh?

[Christy]

No.

[Tom]

Remember the old protest about go, not don't go to Sundance City?

[Christy]

No, that was just Sun City, Miami.

[Josh]

Steve.

[Tom]

Oh. Oh, sorry.

[Christy]

Oh. What's the word?

[Tom]

You look good. Johannesburg.

[Christy]

Johannesburg.

[Tom]

The revolution will not be televised.

[Christy]

What's the word?

[Tom]

Although it will be good. We'll be introduced by Wolfman Jack on Don Kirschner's Rock.

[Christy]

Tom has to answer me, what's the word? Josh?

[Josh]

I don't know this.

[Tom]

Johannesburg.

[Christy]

Johannesburg.

[Josh]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys will have to school me. On what? Whatever the hell that is.

[Tom]

School me? School you?

[Chick]

Have you been up since two again?

[Tom]

Shut up. Yes, I have. I like the hoodie, Christie.

[Chick]

Thank you.

[Tom]

Did you ever put the hood up?

[Chick]

I can.

[Christy]

It makes my eyes hurt.

[Chick]

Yeah, it does. Probably not good for the camera.

[Christy]

Yeah, it's real world. Check. Check. Filled? Yeah.

[Tom]

Oh, that's good.

[Chick]

Oh, yeah. All right, I'll do this.

[Tom]

That'd be good on a spy movie. Yes. I'm meeting her at 3 EST. She will have a pencil behind her ear. She'll be wearing a hoodie. She will have a red book. Ask her, is that a good book? If she says yes, she will have the formula. There you go. Sorry. I say that to my dogs all the time. Do you ever do that?

[Chick]

You take them to Russia all the time.

[Tom]

You take your dogs, you pull their ears back so they look kind of like a seal. Then you pretend they're. They're in some kind of spy movie with Humphrey Bogart. No. Not every morning. Okay, I guess it's just me. Hey, here's one more thing to worry about in life.

[Chick]

What?

[Tom]

Just in case you need something else.

[Chick]

Now what?

[Tom]

I couldn't believe this headline. SUV catches fire after being struck by lightning on the interstate.

[Josh]

Oh, that's got to be bad luck.

[Tom]

Yeah. What a day.

[Christy]

Whoever's driving that was up to no good.

[Tom]

Nobody hurt.

[Josh]

Good. That's good.

[Chick]

That is just incredible that you would have that story. Because yesterday I Was driving and right over here by where you live, and lightning, I swear hit next to me. It sounded like. And it scared me to death. And I thought, oh, I'm safe. I'm in a car. It has rubber wheels, right? Isn't that what you always.

[Tom]

Yeah, but yeah, in this case, it actually set the thing on fire, according to the Yorktown fire department.

[Josh]

Wow.

[Chick]

Gosh.

[Tom]

And here's a shot of the thing being fire being put out. That is. That is.

[Chick]

Oh, no.

[Tom]

Wow. So anyway, just one more thing to.

[Christy]

It just, you know, and that wasn't a fire, Tom. It was a thermal incident. Okay.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Chick]

I like that spin.

[Christy]

Yeah, they don't like to say that.

[Tom]

They don't.

[Christy]

Especially where cars are involved.

[Tom]

Really? I'll tell you what. I had a thermal incident in my bobbles.

[Josh]

Oh, my spicy food.

[Tom]

You ever had that?

[Christy]

We didn't get too far away from poop, did we?

[Chick]

No, we didn't.

[Tom]

We just started the show. Okay.

[Christy]

Somebody complaining actually, on our letters this morning. Somebody upset that you. Evidently. This airplane pilot mouse scenario is taking the letters over. People love this. They want a children's book with a mouse flying a plane and into his. He's just the best pilot ever, this mouse. And he's used to his co pilot, but his co pilot has to miss a day or something. What was your scenario?

[Josh]

And I forget exactly what happens with the copilot.

[Tom]

Yeah, the new co pilot.

[Christy]

The new co pilot comes in and he's a cat.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Oh, this is a great book.

[Chick]

Do we have a name for our captain?

[Christy]

We don't.

[Tom]

Oh, well, we'll have to name him evidently.

[Christy]

But there's evidently a. A female flight attendant, A girl mouse named flight attendant little or something. And it's a Stuart little spin off. Oh, really? She's a flight attendant on an airplane. Yes.

[Josh]

All right.

[Christy]

That's what the letter says.

[Tom]

And this all started because they. What, they turned a plane around because.

[Chick]

There was a mouse? Yeah.

[Tom]

They were concerned it was going to eat some of the wiring. Wiring.

[Josh]

I think my kid already had that book. It's called if you give a mouse a cessna.

[Christy]

Oh, yeah, man, I love that. If you give a moose a muffin and if you give a mouse a cookie and.

[Tom]

Yeah, if you give a teenager a beaver, that one got a little while.

[Christy]

It could have been.

[Tom]

They pulled that, didn't they?

[Christy]

Could have been. You give a drunk a butthole. It could have been something.

[Josh]

Both those.

[Christy]

A lot of worse.

[Tom]

Those are both good.

[Josh]

Those were during Judy bloom's drinking days. We loved everything he did with Super Fudge. But come on now.

[Christy]

You're not telling me what to write. I'm Judy Blue.

[Josh]

We had the book Mouse on a motorcycle. Did you guys have that one?

[Tom]

I did not see that.

[Josh]

That was kind of. That was big when I was growing up. Mouse on a buddy. A little helmet.

[Christy]

A friend of mine's dad, when he farted, said, a mouse and a motorcycle. Look around.

[Tom]

Oh, yeah, we have.

[Chick]

I get. That's funny.

[Tom]

We have more things.

[Christy]

More things. You'd like this. A fart is a heartbeat from a poop.

[Tom]

We have. We have farts in the news today.

[Chick]

Yes, Legitimately, yesterday. Have you seen. Jeff and I live kind of near each other now. Have you seen this guy? He has one of those tri wheelers. Do you know what I'm talking about?

[Tom]

Motorcycle.

[Chick]

That's a motorcycle. But it's tri wheels.

[Tom]

Sure.

[Chick]

But the back end is the back of a VW Bug. Have you seen this dude?

[Josh]

Not yet.

[Tom]

That's hilarious.

[Chick]

And I couldn't. He went by me so fast, I couldn't get a picture.

[Tom]

So is he sitting.

[Chick]

He's sitting on what would look like a regular motorcycle in the front, but the back on two wheels is the back of a Bug. Of a Volkswagen Bug. It was unbelievable.

[Tom]

Aerodynamic.

[Chick]

I don't know how aerodynamic. Well, it's. The back is.

[Christy]

I lived all my life to get out of white trash central. What are you living.

[Josh]

I was gonna say Jeff. I assume he can drive through your neighborhood. Can't get into Christie's. No, the gate keeps him out.

[Tom]

What I thought I'd do was take.

[Christy]

The ash end of the Bug and put it on my trike, is what I thought.

[Chick]

At first, I thought it was gonna.

[Tom]

Hey, it's bad. I love stuff like that.

[Chick]

I knew you.

[Tom]

Is it a good look?

[Chick]

That's kind of a unique look.

[Tom]

Remember the argument we had about the.

[Chick]

One of those tricycles that had, like a roof on it, like a camera?

[Tom]

Isn't. Isn't it capturing all the air as he moves forward?

[Christy]

You would think there was always. There was a kid in my neighborhood when I grew up who took a stingray bicycle and put the longest fork in the history of the world on the front of it.

[Tom]

Oh.

[Chick]

Oh, that was a big.

[Christy]

His dad was a welder, I guess, or some dumbass thing. He just drove around the. Mocking me because I didn't have one look like that. Okay, I'm over it.

[Tom]

Yeah. I just love stuff like that. I remember we got to the big argument about the reverse Corvette.

[Chick]

You guys First Corvette.

[Christy]

No, I don't remember that.

[Tom]

There's a picture of it over there. It was a. It was a drag racing thing. And this guy took a Corvette and turned it around backwards. Oh, my. It was just so cool looking. I would love to have a street car like that. That would be. That would be so illegal.

[Chick]

I don't know how people would think.

[Tom]

Oh, my God.

[Chick]

This was incredible. I wish I had gotten a picture. But.

[Tom]

Okay, well, thank you very much. A lot going on. We'll try to cover everything. But right now I want to cover the most important thing. And that of course, is. Is great coffee. That only 1% of the coffee in the United States of America comes from the US of A. And that's kind of even. It's Hawaii and what, Puerto Rico. But the best place to get that coffee, wherever it originates, is Java House. Java House, the official coffee of the Bob and Tom Show. And the official refreshments of the Bob and Tom Show. What am I talking about? I'm talking about the revolution in coffee. The revolution at your office, the revolution at home, the revolution when you're traveling. In my hand, I have what looks like a pod for one of those Keurig machines. It is not. This is a self contained concentrate. This one happens to be Colombian medium roast. You peel this little thing off on the top and you pour it into whatever you want. Hot water. Maybe you want to do iced coffee. Now. They also, of course, have many other beverages, including Josh's personal favorite, which is what?

[Josh]

They have the best hot cocoa that I've ever had.

[Tom]

And that's very good. My girls like it cold.

[Josh]

Oh, interesting.

[Tom]

They like cold cocoa.

[Chick]

Well, it's kind of like chocolate milk.

[Tom]

Yeah, I guess. But they always refer to it as cold hot chocolate, which is humorous. It is Java House. A J, A V House. And what I want to thank, by the way, the special thing that we just installed in Our office. Office H2O. Thank you. It's a new water system. This saves so much time. Instead of going over those giant five gallon jugs and pulling the spigot and counting to 3,000, well, it fills up your cup. This thing is instant. It's got the filtered water going right into your glass or cup. It's great. Thank you very much. And now I'm going to ask you to break with your brewer. Try out Java House. I had a nice love letter here, which I of course have misplaced. Java House.com is the place to go. Bob and Tom is the code that'll knock a staggering 25% off your order. So spell it out. One big long word. B O, B A N D T O M. Bob and Tom, Java house dot com. Check out the huge line of coffees. Decaf. They also have a great black iced tea. Thank you very much, Java House. Once again, the official coffee and the official refreshments of the Bob and Tom Show. Tell them the Bob and Tom show sent you. That's Java House.com. coming up in sports, we've got NBA.

[Christy]

Playoffs, including the greatest comeback in Pacers playoff history. They, they eliminate the bucks last night, four games to one. Pacers win 119, 118 in overtime. And there was an incident after the game. We'll talk about it. Everything's fine now, but we'll talk about it.

[Tom]

Okay, thank you very much. Also, we do have flatulence in the news and a couple of my favorites. We have a kangaroo in the loose. Although nothing's going to be last week's story of the Z Donk on the loose. What if we get a pet Z Donk here for the show? Keep it out in the field there by the big radio towers.

[Christy]

No, you won't let us get a dog for the show. We certainly can't get a Z. I'm.

[Tom]

I've changed. I want to get a dog for the show. We, we could rotate bringing our own dogs in.

[Josh]

That'd be cool.

[Tom]

Would you like to do that or just get a. Just get us dog that lives here? That'd be really fun.

[Christy]

As long as there's a dog involved.

[Tom]

Okay, I'm good. Good to go. Here we are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, and this is the Bob and Tom Show. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in.

[Josh]

Full, owning a home and more.

[Tom]

Plus, you can count on their great.

[Josh]

Customer service to help you when you need it.

[Tom]

So your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance, Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates.

[Josh]

Potential savings will vary.

[Tom]

Not available in all states or situations.

[Christy]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Top Show. Christy Lee at the SILAC Insurance news desk. Hello, there's Pat Godwin.

[Josh]

Hey, Chick.

[Christy]

Hello, Josh Arnold.

[Josh]

Hey, trickster.

[Christy]

He's over there at the I hate Stephen Singer, sidekick chair. I'm Chick McGee. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Jeff Oskay is here. Hello, Tom.

[Tom]

Hello, Chick, we're gonna get to some letters here. You can reach us. Bob and tom obandtom.com. we always love hearing from you. Jixer. You want to start it off?

[Christy]

Let's see. Oh, we were talking about the Internet subject. The question that was asked a couple about a week ago, I guess, who would. How would the fight go? One gorilla and 100 men.

[Tom]

Right.

[Christy]

How would it end up. And you started running your trap, Tom, about why don't they call NFL teams gorillas?

[Tom]

Well, oh, no, no, there is. There are many NFL teams named after animals. You've got your bears, for example, your lions.

[Josh]

Let me get my pen here.

[Tom]

Let's see.

[Josh]

Dolphins, I think have lions.

[Tom]

Maybe lions then. You know something. Anyway, after even the the smallest amount of thought, I realized this is a bad idea.

[Christy]

Anyway, Stephanie says, reminded me. I was born and raised in Burke, South Dakota and we were the Bulldogs. The Burke Bulldogs. Our rivalry neighbors, the Gregory Gorillas. They have a big gorilla statue and years ago, kids from another town stole it on a trailer in front of the gym and dumped it over the bridge into the Missouri River.

[Josh]

Oh, my goodness.

[Christy]

Oh, and by the way, on the subject of town names, unfortunate town names, town on the other side of Burke. Our neighbor town is Bone Steel.

[Josh]

Oh, that's a cool name.

[Christy]

Thanks for the morning entertainment.

[Tom]

It sounds like a porn guy's name.

[Josh]

Yeah, I'm Burke Bonesteel.

[Tom]

Yeah, well, I got a letter on the same gorilla topic. Once again, the scenario is one gorilla and a hundred men. Who would win, Right?

[Christy]

Who you got?

[Tom]

Apparently this is from someone who's very serious. It's got three names. I'll just give you two of them. William Lloyd something.

[Chick]

Okay.

[Josh]

It's Blair. It's right. He's a good man. He knows a lot about animals. He worked in a zoo.

[Tom]

Oh, okay. So it's okay to use his full name?

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Okay, good. He said, is the gorilla aware that the fight is starting?

[Josh]

No. We'll say yes.

[Christy]

I think the gorilla probably feels threatened. My big angle on this is the gorilla doesn't know he's going to die. They don't have self awareness like that. Right.

[Josh]

So most animals do.

[Tom]

They don't want to be hurt.

[Christy]

I mean, a guy fighting to the death is going to fight differently than a guy not fighting to the death. He doesn't know.

[Chick]

Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah.

[Tom]

William Lloyd Blair. Boy, that sounds like a great name, doesn't he?

[Josh]

Yeah, yeah, he's a good man.

[Tom]

Tonight on Face the Nation, he says gorillas are Generally peaceful, not savage killers. More likely the gorilla is going to try to escape rather than fight.

[Josh]

Okay.

[Tom]

If the gorilla gets the notion that there's no way out, who needs to get to hurting someone, however, then the guys are in trouble. After seeing the first 10 guys peeled like an overripe banana, I kind of doubt the other guys will be inclined to jump in.

[Christy]

No, but that doesn't enter. I don't think that that doesn't enter into the question.

[Tom]

A gorilla is eight to 30 times stronger than a man.

[Josh]

You can't run, am I right?

[Christy]

Yeah, but the gorilla is going to get tired. Yes. You're going to have to have some selfless men there in the hundred.

[Josh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christy]

They're gonna. They're gonna take one for the team.

[Tom]

What is it? You're. You break a few eggs to make it. What is it again?

[Chick]

Omelette.

[Christy]

Yeah, make an omelet. You're gonna make. Break some eggs.

[Josh]

So 100 men with nothing to lose. Boy, oh boy.

[Christy]

So let's say 30, 40. 50.

[Josh]

Oh, yeah.

[Christy]

There's still 50 left.

[Tom]

So you get 50 guys on death row and say, here's the deal. You survived the gorilla thing, we let you go. That might have happened many years ago. All I know is no matter what happens here, Don King will be the promoter. That's just saying he's always. He's got his fingers and all that somehow he'll get paid now. Well, it's an interesting scenario. Maybe we can get more educated on that topic. I've got an interesting letter here.

[Josh]

As do I. Yeah.

[Tom]

Oh, go ahead. You go first.

[Josh]

Well, this applies to all of us. Glenn would like to know, do you use trick worms or wacky style worms for fishing? I think we can all talk to that.

[Chick]

What are the differences between.

[Tom]

I have no idea.

[Josh]

Well, I, I typically. I prefer a wacky. I think you're. You're guaranteed to catch a fish. It's when you just take a plastic worm and it's all kind of wiggly. Well, sure, but. And then you. You hook it in the center of center. Yeah. And you just let it be wacky in the water. You just kind of flop around and.

[Tom]

You don't use real night crawlers.

[Josh]

Not for. Not for when you're on the moon. Move like that. And then a trick worm.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Josh]

I've Texas rigged a trick worm or two and they were. I know Jeff is a fan. I've seen you do.

[Tom]

What is that?

[Josh]

Yeah, I've been. I just caught one on the Texas. But I'm liking the Drop shot worm. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom]

I feel like I'm on an episode. I feel like I'm in an episode of Gad About Gaddis.

[Chick]

What's Gad About Gaddis?

[Tom]

It's the most famous fishing show ever.

[Chick]

I noticed Bill Dance had the most. I think Bill Dance had a pretty.

[Tom]

No Gadda Bottom venom. Can you imagine those days, though? They had to sit there, just burn and film. All right, we've gone through all of our film. We haven't gotten today, though. They just. That's digital. No big deal. They don't care. It's probably worse for the fishermen. Been here for three days. Are you serious? We gotta stay.

[Josh]

No, they love it. I like a good fishing show.

[Tom]

Oh, I know, but I mean, they eventually get to the action.

[Chick]

Yeah, I like the saltwater ones where the flat boats, those.

[Tom]

Oh, very cool. We have some fish in the news today. But right now, this letter comes to us from Union, Kentucky, from Katie. She writes, longtime listener. I've never had a reason to contact you guys until now in all caps. Going into work yesterday, I may have missed someone else. Already sent this to you. See attached photo. The evidence, there really is a place called the Gasole. We did cover that.

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Tom]

And the liquor box. There's also a Chinese restaurant with a sign called Walk and Roll. Oh, sure. Yeah, that's. That's kind of a.

[Chick]

There was one right down the street.

[Christy]

I thought there was also a business called Nuckin Futz. Right.

[Josh]

Yep.

[Tom]

It's. Then she continues. Boy, that scares me. Even when you say it. I know. I'll go slow. Nuckin Knuckin Futs is a ways up the road.

[Chick]

But what do they sell?

[Josh]

Chicken wings. Right.

[Tom]

Well, she says this is the important part of the letter. They have the greatest homemade blue cheese dressing you'll ever have.

[Chick]

Oh, good.

[Tom]

Now, Katie, you know that chick is a big fan of the gas station sandwiches.

[Christy]

Egg salad, chicken salad, tuna salad, whatever you've got. Man, I load up.

[Tom]

I am not a fan of blue cheese dressing. I'll go on record, but I'm sure that there's this great hazard's place.

[Chick]

You like chunks of blue cheese?

[Tom]

I hate blue cheese.

[Christy]

Blue cheese on a carrot's pretty good.

[Tom]

Real good.

[Christy]

Hard to beat. Hard to beat.

[Tom]

Even.

[Josh]

Even a buffalo wing. Chicken wing. Yeah.

[Tom]

Okay, now, see, that's the problem with that is then you think it's ranch. You dip your chicken wing in and it turns out to be blue cheese. It's just off.

[Josh]

Yeah, I'm with you, Tom. It tastes like Poison to me. But yeah, I wish it didn't.

[Tom]

Yeah. But there are people who enjoy it and I'm glad that, that the Nutton boy, I can't say it.

[Chick]

Don't even try.

[Tom]

Yeah, the, the, we'll call it NS has a nice. I'm glad things are going well for them. Hello again. If you're just joining us, this is the Bob and Tom show coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Great to be here. And we've been reviewing some letters. Do you have another one over there, Jake?

[Christy]

Well, I wanted to follow up on the gorilla thing and there's a team in, I think it's Division 3 football, NCAA football from Pittsburgh, Kansas. They're the Pittsburgh State Gorillas.

[Tom]

There we go.

[Christy]

They're Pittsburgh and Kansas. No age for some reason. Oh, it just stops at the G.

[Josh]

I'm fascinated by gorillas. I love them.

[Chick]

They are interesting.

[Tom]

And there was a time when Chick in his bucket list, one of the.

[Christy]

Things he wanted, it's still there.

[Tom]

Wanted to acquire was a first class.

[Christy]

High quality gorilla suit.

[Chick]

And they were expensive, right?

[Christy]

Oh, yeah. You can spend as much as you want on a, on a high quality gorilla suit. Absolutely. I want one that you, they might let you onto a plane with the film.

[Josh]

The filmmaker, John Landis is a like connoisseur of ape suits.

[Christy]

Really?

[Josh]

Yes. Oh, he's like obsessed with them and so you have to talk to him at some point.

[Tom]

Didn't. Was it the Three Stooges that had a good one?

[Josh]

Yeah, they did have a pretty good one.

[Christy]

I don't think they did.

[Josh]

It was like, like it's a guy in a suit. I know. Like the face kind of articulated and stuff. Like it was, it looked pretty good.

[Chick]

Are you telling me Landis could be a big foot?

[Josh]

Oh, I don't know. I don't know if he likes Bigfoot or not, but he likes the apes.

[Christy]

Why did I say fart knocker yesterday? Can you help me?

[Josh]

I don't even remember you saying it.

[Chick]

You did because we made a four.

[Tom]

We made a 400 reference.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Christy]

Yeah. Well, you did it again. Had me rolling on the floor. You said fart the fart knocker joke. And I was laughing so hard I hurt my hernia. Again, thanks a lot. I hope I haven't popped a stitch.

[Tom]

No, Josh, you missed this news story and I have my own follow up on it. We had this a couple of months ago, maybe last year. But speaking of high quality gorilla suits, do you remember the story of the guy who calls himself Toko, the human collie.

[Josh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom]

And he has a five figures into this dog suit.

[Josh]

Yes.

[Tom]

And disturbing. The suit's amazing. He looks like an Alaskan malamute. If you've ever seen this thing, you can't tell there's a human being inside it. It is really something really creepy. And this guy, he's obviously a lunatic. He is complaining now that he's not making enough money by showing off people in this suit that he may have to shut down his so called human zoo.

[Josh]

Right.

[Tom]

But like I said, if you see a picture of this thing that it's absolutely amazing. I was doing a little research. I mean obviously the guy's a lunatic.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Because he wants to be a dog 24 hours a day. So he went to a psychiatrist but that didn't work out because the doctor wouldn't let him get up on the couch.

[Josh]

Oh geez. Yeah, that is a problem.

[Tom]

Terrible, terrible thing. You see?

[Josh]

Yeah. I mean what are you gonna do?

[Tom]

It looks just like a dog. You see that?

[Christy]

Dear Bob and Tom, I recently flew from Minneapolis St. Paul to Orlando. Got in the shuttle van. There was a guy sitting in a passenger seat who immediately started some small talk. I asked where we where he flew in from and he said Orlando. He said that that was his stomping grounds. Well, he actually said it was DeLand. Well, I couldn't pass it up. I thought to myself, I couldn't believe my good fortune. I got the chance to say it. I said deland. Is that by to see? He turned around and gave me a very stern no and turned back around and never said another word. Oh, that's Dave from Tomahawk, Wisconsin.

[Josh]

Dave, you won. That small talk ended, didn't it?

[Christy]

But I have a feeling that the Deland thing is much like the reason I know Joe Theisman. He got irritated by people. Tell him. You know, there's a guy on the radio really likes Washington, loves you. So he got tired of hearing about it. People in Deland are tired of hearing about their near to sea, Tom.

[Tom]

Yeah, well they're near Daytona beach, of course, home of spring break and one of the greatest races in the world.

[Christy]

Well, not anymore. They don't want anybody there for spring break. Right.

[Chick]

That's Panama City, isn't it?

[Christy]

Told them to get out. Oh, Daytona still welcoming.

[Chick]

I don't one of them. I think it was Panama City.

[Tom]

Yeah, once. Yeah.

[Chick]

And Miami cut back. Really? They really slammed down. Oh yeah, they have a curfew at 6pm and they've got 6pm yes, I'm not making this up.

[Tom]

6.

[Josh]

Florida's going through changes, man. Ron John now only roller skates. I don't know why they're.

[Christy]

You know what my dad.

[Josh]

What's going on down there?

[Christy]

My dad always told me, hey, boy, you can't get her done by 6pm just don't worry about it. That's what he told me.

[Tom]

Good old Ron John's Surf Shop. I just saw a woman on a Ron John's hoodie the other day and I said, did you actually go there? No, that's. It's one of those things that.

[Chick]

Yeah, everybody has, but they're cool.

[Josh]

Did you surf in the day back in the day?

[Tom]

I have never surfed. He wants to surf I. Costa Rica, right?

[Josh]

Don't you want to go?

[Tom]

Yes, there's a, there's, there are a couple different. Probably more than the, the guy that I know it knows of one on the Pacific side of Costa Rica that's supposed to be great. So yeah, I would love to go try to do that. I've never. Have you ever surfed? You lived in Florida for a long time. I didn't never serve. I don't know if I'd be any good at it, but I can ski, so maybe that'll help. Stay in my lonely room and play guitar and waited to, to get better really. Still waiting in the hot sun I see. Now we have sports on the way. And right now I want to tell you about our friends at the Silac Insurance Company. And Silac is all about something we call annuities. What is an annuity? Well, it's a way to make sure that you keep getting a check after you've retired. Social Security, is that going to be all you need? Who knows? But you can feel a lot better today by planning for tomorrow. Right now, the folks at Silac are all about annuities. And you can get all the details by checking them [e-mail]. oh, there's a new way to find them. Let me get this for you a new way. Yeah, I just remembered this. It involves your phone and you actually call and you hit £250 and then you say the keywords lifetime income and you can get some information about what is an annuity now these days, if you've been watching the stock market at present, it's. At present it's down significantly. It goes down, it goes up. These things happen. It's called market volatility. You don't have to worry about that with an annuity. And by the way, you can't outlive your money, so certain restrictions apply. See if you apply yourself and if you in fact qualify. The details are once [e-mail] and once again, the easy way to get some information is just call up, hit £250 and say lifetime income, the Silac Insurance Company. Plan on it and live on it and you'll be a lot more relaxed right now. Coming up in sports, Mr. McGee, what have we got over there?

[Christy]

NBA playoffs. And what else did we we have? Oh, well, there's the New York Mets. We'll talk about a certain celebrity who loves the Mets. And also of disturbing Guinness World Record this morning that I'd rather not talk about.

[Tom]

Oh, it's. It's rough.

[Christy]

It weirds me out.

[Tom]

Yeah. Yeah. You might not want to look at the photograph.

[Chick]

I thought they didn't allow stuff like that.

[Christy]

Oh, no. They evidently still say this is okay.

[Josh]

Physical anomaly.

[Tom]

Yes.

[Christy]

It's almost like they're a bunch of guys sitting in a pub drinking Guinness. I don't understand.

[Tom]

Yeah. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, and this is the Bob and Tom Show. This is the Bob and Tom show. Text us at 888-26-2866. One more Bob and Tom next.

[Josh]

Get in the zone.

[Christy]

AutoZone.

[Tom]

Welcome to AutoZone.

[Josh]

What are you working on today?

[Tom]

Worried about your battery and the heat? We get it.

[Josh]

You don't want to get stranded somewhere.

[Tom]

With a car that feels like an oven.

[Josh]

We've got you covered.

[Tom]

At AutoZone, America's number one battery destination.

[Josh]

Our free battery testing and charging service can help.

[Tom]

And if you need a battery, we'll.

[Josh]

Help you find a new one. No problem. Power through with free battery testing and charging at AutoZone. Get in the zone.

[Tom]

AutoZone restrictions apply. Is on the way.

[Christy]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Josh Arnold, Christy Lee, Pat Godwin. I'm Chick Magee. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs, get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Hello, Tom.

[Tom]

Hello, Chick. One quick letter before we move on.

[Christy]

We got a bunch over here.

[Tom]

Oh, good. You got some more. This one. Dear Bob and Tom Show, My grandfather, whenever he was having a good time, used to always say, I haven't had this much fun since the pigs ate my sister. Thank you, Meg.

[Christy]

Wow.

[Tom]

That is.

[Christy]

Yeah, it's really dark.

[Tom]

Yes. Very odd.

[Josh]

Yes.

[Tom]

But no. When the pigs eat the bodies, remember what happens Right.

[Josh]

Oh, yeah. They leave very little evidence.

[Tom]

Just the teeth. Right.

[Christy]

We got whether pigs will eat the teeth, but the digestion, they. They have a problem with that.

[Tom]

Wow.

[Christy]

They will.

[Tom]

Amazing. What else you got?

[Christy]

This is from Chris. There's. With a K, a lady Chris. I guess there's already a book out there where a mouse works. Plane. We talked about this briefly. She is not the pilot. She's stewardess.

[Josh]

Little Stewardess. Little Stewardess.

[Christy]

Little. There you go. Dear Joshua Chick, father of four and a grandfather of two, soon to be three.

[Tom]

Wow.

[Josh]

Congratulations.

[Christy]

The storyline about the pilot mouse is on its way to greatness until of course, Tom has to insert turds in the storyline. Yeah, it's probably. Probably is what's going to happen there, I would think. Don't you think?

[Tom]

Yeah. Now, now, yesterday in sports mouse turds we had a. Speaking of which, we had a story about a very fine Japanese ball player. Once again, you heard the story. He's assigned now to the Los Angeles Dodgers, Roki Sasaki. He signed with them and one of the things that the. The Dodgers stated that when they were negotiating with him, he requested that when they do their huge remodel, they put in Japanese style toilets. The toto, which they have done. Got this. I was not up to speed on my Japanese toilets and I wanted to know if are they just lower? But actually they're significantly different. Have a nice letter here from another Chris with a K. I visited Japan last year. The toilets were comparable in size to American ones. I'm 6ft tall, 200 pounds. I had no trouble sitting on one. The bidet feature is a game changer and the public toilets have a privacy button that plays white noise to cancel out the embarrassing sounds. I have heard that before. I've heard about that.

[Chick]

I wish I knew the name of the movie, but there's a great movie about a guy who cleans public toilets in Tokyo. Did you see that movie?

[Josh]

No.

[Chick]

Oh, is it so sweet?

[Tom]

Is it a documentary?

[Chick]

No, it's. It's a little.

[Tom]

Oh, okay.

[Josh]

It's a Vim Vendors film, but I don't remember the name.

[Chick]

Yeah, it's fabulous. I know it doesn't sound that way, but you get that the public toilet.

[Christy]

Is that. Is that what we're going with? Vim Vendors.

[Josh]

I heard yes. My whole life I've said Wim Wenders.

[Christy]

Yeah, right.

[Josh]

And, and I recently saw people talk, discussing, you know, whatever that angel movie that he made.

[Christy]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh]

And they were all saying Vim Vendors.

[Christy]

No kidding.

[Josh]

Yeah, it's a Crouching Janitor Hidden Fe.

[Chick]

No, it's called Perfect Days.

[Tom]

Oh, yes. Okay. This guy took a photograph of the inside of a Japanese toilet.

[Josh]

Look at this photograph.

[Tom]

There are 10 different buttons.

[Josh]

10 different buttons right there.

[Tom]

I can see one of them has musical notes on it. So presumably you press that and plays some kind of a song. God. Well, wait a minute. There's 13 of these things. I forgot. Some of these are divided in half. Amazing.

[Josh]

Oh, that's a good concept. Yeah.

[Tom]

The white noise in the toilet.

[Josh]

It is a good concept.

[Christy]

So does it help you or help.

[Tom]

Just in case you're embarrassed?

[Christy]

It covers up the noise you're making from inside the toilet.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Josh]

How does that work? Yeah, I know. Are the speakers, like, right outside of your stall so that the people outside don't hear you?

[Christy]

Is that why you were in the water? You fart a lot when you poo, is that it?

[Tom]

No, that's why I think Jackie Kennedy famously did that. I do it.

[Josh]

I run water to this day.

[Chick]

Diva, just like Jackie Kennedy.

[Tom]

Yeah. Now that I think about it.

[Christy]

You know how a diva would answer that question? They're calling them a diva. They would say, perhaps.

[Josh]

Yes.

[Tom]

It's all true.

[Christy]

Perhaps.

[Tom]

I forget what a book I was reading, but, yeah, in Hyannisport, she would be very embarrassed that she'd always run the water real loud.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

One can only imagine the.

[Chick]

She never ate.

[Tom]

She poops in good taste. And they smelled like Salems.

[Christy]

You ever think?

[Tom]

Or Newports.

[Christy]

Jack had to bring a friend to his. A rowdy college buddy. His home.

[Tom]

Oh, yeah.

[Christy]

At one point to tell Jackie, hey, we used to call this hyena sport, huh? Jackie Elbower. They call me Z. Donk House Things at Hyenas. Poor, right?

[Josh]

Marilyn. I mean, Jackie.

[Tom]

Yeah. Marilyn's not too shy to swim naked in the pool at the White House. You're just too uptight.

[Christy]

I find Jackie Kennedy unappealing visually.

[Josh]

Oh, I think she's attractive.

[Christy]

Oh, not in the least.

[Tom]

I always thought this reporter. Those pillbox hats were the most ridiculous headgear of all time.

[Josh]

Well, she only wore it once, right?

[Chick]

She wasn't gonna wear it again.

[Josh]

You know, it's funny. They are ridiculous, but when I see them, I don't think, oh, that's. That looks silly. I always go, yeah, okay, that's a lady fashion thing.

[Chick]

A lot of fashion things that look stupid.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Tom]

It's utterly.

[Christy]

Speaking of hats, we got the big hat week, the derby coming up Saturday. You're gonna see some hats then, baby.

[Chick]

Two really good friends going to the derby. I Can't wait to see what they come up with.

[Tom]

Many of those hats are practical. They, ah, oh, yeah.

[Chick]

They could block the view of everybody.

[Christy]

The last thing they are is practice.

[Tom]

Keep the rain out. Some of them have electric trains going around in a circle on top of your head.

[Christy]

That's great.

[Josh]

Is that a pricey ticket to get in?

[Tom]

Oh, yeah. Depends where you want to be.

[Chick]

Yeah, yeah. Like anything else.

[Tom]

Yeah. Now, we certainly encourage you to keep sending us various emails. I enjoy it very much. If you can reach us, Bob and Tom, @bobandtom.com but we now turn to the sports page with Chick McGee.

[Christy]

Tyrese Halliburton and the Pacers stole one from the Bucks last night in Indianapolis. They for Pacers forced two turnovers in the final 29 seconds of overtime. And Halliburton blows past Giannis for the go ahead layup with 1.3 seconds left to give the Pacers 1:19, 1:18 victory and a 4:1 series win. The Pacers close the game with an 8 nothing run over the final 40 seconds of overtime to eliminate the Bucks in the first round for the second straight season. Halliburton had 26 points, 10 assists. He goes to 9:0 in home playoff games. And it was a chippy series through the entire five games. And last night was no exception, apparently. According to reports and video, Tyrese Halliburton's father, John, made his way onto the court at the end of the game to confront Giannis of the Bucks and to show Giannis his son's T shirt and apparently told Giannis that Giannis sucked and said some things. Tom is what Tyrese's dad said. And Tyrese apologized, actually for his father and agreed that, yes, that shouldn't have been something that Giannis had to endure, him being on the court.

[Josh]

And at the same time, if you're not Giannis, don't you just.

[Tom]

Sir.

[Josh]

And then point to the scoreboard.

[Christy]

Scoreboard, yeah, we win. Congratulations.

[Josh]

We win.

[Christy]

But if you get a chance. I don't. I don't think we. I didn't realize. Maybe we should have done this before. But Giannis has a really eloquent press conference after the game explaining what happens, and he said, this is absolutely unacceptable. I don't do this to people when, you know, I. I've won a championship and I didn't get into people's faces. He really, if you get a chance, you should watch the press conference. He really explains himself quite well.

[Tom]

A close circuit to Angela getting out of. Getting out of the hospital in Louisville. Hope you start feeling great. And I'm glad things are going well for you. Back to you. Chick got a nice letter from her. I didn't. It's. It's.

[Christy]

This had better be deeply personal. And this had better be something you got on the side. That's the only way.

[Tom]

Oh, I've never met Angela.

[Christy]

Just explain. You stopped a billion dollar show. Angela.

[Tom]

Okay, now I'll have to read it way to.

[Josh]

I don't know. You have to read it.

[Tom]

I certainly enjoy the letter.

[Josh]

Now we're have to read 90 of these that come in. Kevin stubbed his toe last night. Sorry to hear it, Kevin.

[Christy]

Oh, you read Angela's letter.

[Tom]

Well, Angela, I'm glad you're the only one that lived. Back to you.

[Christy]

Sounds like I could have had this all wrong.

[Josh]

Now I do need you to read all that.

[Tom]

Hey, look, with skin grafts. The rest of them, they'll be fine when they put them in the casket. Okay, back to you.

[Christy]

Remember when that girl, the sorority girl died in the kiln explosion? Remember that? What was her name? Faye. Fern from. This is from Animal House. That's how.

[Josh]

Yes, that's right. It's one of the meaner jokes, actually.

[Tom]

Oh, it's just off.

[Christy]

They're killing. It exploded in pottery class.

[Josh]

Great scene.

[Christy]

I used to touch Fern this way.

[Tom]

This. This. This will. This will cheer you up.

[Christy]

Well, it's something better. Okay.

[Tom]

Headline. By the way, thank you, Ryan, for sending this. The subject heading I should say hobos in the library.

[Josh]

Okay.

[Christy]

Evidently this is a problem. Actually. Watch your mouth.

[Tom]

This is from the husband of a librarian. Dear Bob and Tom show. My wife works at the public library in Oregon. They have to do an hourly check to make sure there are no. What do they say now? Unhoused folks? Sleeping man.

[Christy]

I like hobo. I like that word a lot.

[Tom]

Or as recently has happened, dead in the stacks.

[Josh]

Whoa.

[Tom]

Psych. There is a big issue with porno and they are not shy about it.

[Josh]

On the computers there.

[Tom]

Apparently the.

[Josh]

Isn't that something?

[Tom]

Fellas come in and a very unshy manner. Start using the computer. Well, we have a similar story coming up that is really, really awful.

[Christy]

Did you say in a very un. Shy way they use the computer?

[Tom]

That's. I'm. That's. I'm reading this letter. This is what he says.

[Josh]

Josh, wasn't your dream to be a hobo. I did have hobo aspirations.

[Tom]

Hobo. Sounds like you chose it.

[Josh]

That's the thing. Yeah.

[Tom]

And that you're living the good life, riding the rails.

[Josh]

Right, Right.

[Chick]

Being Unhoused?

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Chick]

That doesn't sound nearly a lot of.

[Tom]

Bad luck and mental illness half the time. Yeah, not as much fun.

[Chick]

You want to speak to that?

[Josh]

Early in my career, yes.

[Chick]

You were unhoused. Couch surfer, homeless, Dated girl to girl.

[Josh]

I was a vaginal nomad.

[Tom]

Yes. Yeah. Hey, look, you're good. Good news. Good news. Your mom didn't live in a slab.

[Chick]

I had a musician motel once. I know what it's like.

[Josh]

I was in my mom's basement every decade up until last.

[Tom]

The last decade. Yeah. So when your mom would go house hunting, it had to be there.

[Josh]

Had to be.

[Tom]

Had to be a basement. If it's on a slab, you. I'm not gonna live down the hall from my mom.

[Josh]

There's a crawl space.

[Tom]

Okay. Now we're having a wonderful time. That will continue. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christy]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning, even though we're not too much to look at. You can also watch the show on our YouTube channel. It's part sports.

[Josh]

We have football on the brain, part pop culture. Dennis Leary. True or false. You refuse to wear a glove with Mickey Mantle's signature on it for the movie the Sandlot.

[Christy]

The Red Sox.

[Tom]

Blood. The brew is blood. They run deep. Add in the best celebrity interview.

[Josh]

Robert Dairo here on the Rich Eisen Show. How are you, sir?

[Christy]

Just got over a 24 hour virus.

[Josh]

The antidote is to appear on the Rich Eisen Show.

[Christy]

There you go. I would have done it earlier.

[Tom]

And you've got the Rich Eisen show podcast.

[Josh]

There's a medicinal quality to appearing on this program.

[Tom]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[Christy]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. At the Silac Insurance news desk, it's Christy Lee. Here's Pat Godwin.

[Tom]

Hi.

[Christy]

There's Josh Arnold with the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. I'm Chick McGee. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Jeff Oskar's here in a bad shirt. Hello, Tom. How are you?

[Tom]

I'm doing great. Who's got a bad shirt?

[Josh]

Oh, I love Oscar's shirt.

[Chick]

Bigfoot shirt, isn't it?

[Christy]

What's on there?

[Josh]

There's a cardinal.

[Chick]

Oh, I thought bears.

[Christy]

Oh, Mr. And Mrs. Cardinal. Looks like waterfall.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Tom]

And let's make it clear, Cardinal the bird, not the religious figures currently getting ready to vote. Correct.

[Christy]

How many people listening right now thought Tom was talking about.

[Josh]

He's a Weisenheimer Religious.

[Tom]

I think it'd be really Cool to have a Hawaii Hawaiian shirt that has various cardinals on it, by the way. I am betting, and I'm betting on the Italian guy.

[Josh]

Okay.

[Chick]

Which one?

[Josh]

Yeah. A quick note. I do not have anything gross on my nose. My nose is really. I've been blowing my nose so much lately that it's all dry, and so I have skin flakes kind of on it. So if you see something on my.

[Tom]

Nose, I have some scissors.

[Josh]

Don't be grossed out. I just need to lotion my nose. Something I thought I'd never have to say.

[Christy]

Last week, somebody said, you got boogers on your mustache. And I said, what are you talking about? And apparently there was a dark spot in my mustache. Do you guys see that?

[Josh]

This morning we would have told. No, no. It looks very even right now.

[Tom]

Friends tell friends one.

[Josh]

Yeah, I agree.

[Christy]

Does it look like I have boogers in my.

[Josh]

You trim well.

[Chick]

You have that dark spot right in the center, and then it gets lighter.

[Tom]

You're. You're playing with your nostrils.

[Josh]

I know. I can feel the skin thing. I just got to get it off.

[Tom]

Would you like to use my.

[Josh]

Oh, I have one of those. I love those.

[Tom]

My nose hair trimmer.

[Chick]

But it doesn't. It's not a nose hair.

[Tom]

Is it okay to share one of these, or is that.

[Josh]

No, I would never do that. I'm shocked that you're offering that, and.

[Chick]

I'm shocked you have it in here. You do this in. In the studio?

[Tom]

Yeah, sure. No, no, no. I go to use the mirror. I can't.

[Christy]

Let me hear. Kick that baby on. Let me hear that power. Let me hear that. Looks like a good power.

[Tom]

It's got a light.

[Josh]

I have that exact one. I'm a big fan.

[Tom]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh]

Who makes that now? I have. I actually have two of those.

[Christy]

It's hilarious. Every time when I put that nose hair trimmer, it sounds like I'm weed whacking. Yes.

[Josh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom]

Oh, yeah. You hear that?

[Josh]

I have two, because one is for my eyebrows because those come with a wonderful guard where I just scrape them along the eyebrows and it's perfect. And then the others for the.

[Christy]

Tell me what I like.

[Josh]

I didn't want to use the same for the nostrils and eyebrows I don't have.

[Christy]

I have a magnificent one that I like, but it doesn't have a light. And that light on that one is really.

[Tom]

This is a something.

[Christy]

I'd like to have it.

[Tom]

This is from the fine people at Micro Touch. Micro.

[Christy]

Micro Touch, you say now they've been.

[Josh]

Around Micro Touch decades But that puts you back there.

[Tom]

Tammy, I. They're cheap. I mean, you know, you get that.

[Christy]

Can you get those used.

[Chick]

Rebuilt?

[Tom]

I'm looking up.

[Josh]

Great.

[Tom]

If you go on ebay, you sell me mine, you can probably find. You can find used everything else. But I do remember this. The one thing I read an article. This is the kind of paranoia that I live in. Do you remember Christie? The one. We did it on the air. The one thing you should never buy. Used.

[Josh]

Contact lenses.

[Chick]

Sex toys.

[Tom]

Those might be up there, but no vacuum cleaners. Oh, why?

[Christy]

Oh, well, yeah.

[Tom]

There can be all kinds of really bad things inside.

[Chick]

Someone clean your vacuum cleaner, like, every time.

[Tom]

It doesn't matter. I'm just saying a used one can.

[Christy]

What do you mean, clean it every time?

[Tom]

There can be bugs and stuff in them. Various spirocates.

[Josh]

Yes.

[Tom]

Look that up and you'll see how.

[Josh]

I don't clean vacuums. I. I wait four or five years, they eventually kind of burst and I just throw it away and get a new one.

[Christy]

So you. You have the bagless.

[Chick]

I'm guessing I have one of those shows.

[Christy]

So you don't. You don't just take it the trash and push the button and the stuff falls?

[Chick]

Of course I do that. But then.

[Christy]

But then, see, there's another thing she does. What are you talking with? What? What do you keep making that motion with?

[Chick]

Water and dish soap and you wash.

[Tom]

It out, but you have a quality floor vacuum.

[Chick]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Tom]

We're talking about the hand.

[Christy]

Really? Almost.

[Josh]

No, hers is. Hers is handheld.

[Chick]

No, this one's a floor vacuum. But I'm just saying.

[Tom]

I did the articles. It may be just my paranoia, but it said never buy a used vacuum vacuum cleaner.

[Josh]

I wouldn't. No.

[Christy]

Do you swish yours out like a weirdo?

[Chick]

I'm a weirdo, I admit it.

[Tom]

No, but the one I have cost more than my first car. I wish I were kidding.

[Josh]

Christy gave me a vacuum and it was so full of hair that I.

[Chick]

Had to oreck.

[Josh]

That I had to just get a new vacuum.

[Tom]

Dog hair.

[Josh]

I hope it was long.

[Christy]

We've had this discussion on the. What about the Kirby? What can you tell me about a Kirby vacuum? Apparently, that's the Cadillac vacuum cleaner.

[Chick]

Wasn't that the one they sold door to door, like when we were kids?

[Christy]

Can get replacement motors for them and all kinds of crazy.

[Chick]

Like a big steel thing in the beginning. What is it?

[Tom]

All you fancy ladies, you want to get. By the way, you want to get the four cycle because you know what?

[Josh]

Cycle's not good enough.

[Tom]

No.

[Christy]

Gas and oil. Every time.

[Tom]

Yeah. Good point. You don't want to mix the gas and oil. I'm sorry. Could we get back to the sports page?

[Christy]

I've got the odds on the Pope. If you like the top four. Pietro Per. The guy you're talking about. Pietro. 15 to 8 odds and the probability is 34.8%.

[Tom]

That's number one. Right?

[Christy]

That's number one. Luis Tegel. L U I S. Luis Louis Tegel. He's going off.5 to 2.

[Tom]

Where's he from again?

[Christy]

28.6%. I don't know.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Christy]

Peter Turksen.

[Chick]

That doesn't sound Italian.

[Josh]

Peter Turkson.

[Christy]

Five to one.

[Tom]

He was my least favorite of the monkeys. Why am I laugh?

[Chick]

I have to agree. Agree with that.

[Christy]

There's a guy who plays for the Pacers. His name's Knee Smith, but it's spelled like Ness. And I can't not call him Wool Hat.

[Tom]

I don't know why. Such a great obscure joke.

[Christy]

Peter. Peter. He's 5 to 1 at 16.7%. And then Mateo Zupi. Z U P P I. I might bet on his 7 to 1. I like those odds. Those are. That's some sweet action. 12 and a half percent. So there you go.

[Tom]

I need to know what country they're from.

[Christy]

Why is that?

[Tom]

Because I don't think you're going to see another one that isn't Italian. Well.

[Christy]

They don't want another Italian. Or no. What's his face. Wasn't it?

[Chick]

He was Argentinian, but his grandparents were Italian.

[Josh]

We could eventually see an American. I think so. Cardinal Dolan in New York City is. There's always rumblings of him. American. Yeah.

[Christy]

So any of the cardinals could be named Pope? Is that theoretical?

[Tom]

They got to be under 80.

[Christy]

They made that stipulation.

[Tom]

Yeah. They got tired of. The older ones can attend but they can't vote. And I believe they're. Aren't they asked to leave during the voting? Christy. What?

[Chick]

I'm sorry.

[Tom]

I think they're actually asked to leave during the voting. There's some. Yeah. The. I just heard an analysis that pointed out that the movie Conclave is highly inaccurate. And they're also. It also said that they have a. What is it? The floor of the Sistine Chapel. They put in a temporary floor that has jamming devices so that no one can be in a cell phone.

[Josh]

Oh.

[Tom]

I mean. Wouldn't that be a great scoop?

[Christy]

I'd love it. If there's a guy.

[Tom]

Woodward and Bernstein are outside There are.

[Christy]

Junior cardinals in the basement wearing headsets.

[Josh]

Yes.

[Christy]

Waiting, trying to jam. What do you got there, Sparky? What are you hearing?

[Tom]

We got Deep Throat. He said it's Pieto.

[Christy]

One possible papal contender. From the United States, Cardinal Joseph Tobin, Archbishop Archbishop of Newark, New Jersey. Jeffrey's brother, 72, no Tobin.

[Tom]

Not tubing.

[Christy]

Not tubing.

[Josh]

Not tubing.

[Tom]

Because he's in the news in a way.

[Christy]

I don't know if I'm. Is the world ready for a pope? From New Jersey, Joe Piscopo and Andrew Dice Clay.

[Tom]

I guess I have a trash removal business on the side, if you know what I'm saying.

[Christy]

Coming up in sports, more NFL, NFL, NBA playoff action. Pistons. Hang on. The Clippers Nuggets series. Nuggets take a lead in that one. And a really, really old Mets fan is not. Is not the oldest Mets fan anymore.

[Josh]

Oh, I loved them.

[Tom]

But it's a fun story, and he is it. And he embraced the fun. He had a lice. What did he live to? 98.

[Christy]

90. I want to say 99.

[Tom]

Good run.

[Christy]

No, it was 98.

[Tom]

You're okay.

[Josh]

Kevin James is going to speak at his funeral.

[Tom]

Isn't that nice? See?

[Christy]

Yeah. You know, you'd be like, kevin James and his dumb brother would probably be part of.

[Tom]

I love those guys.

[Christy]

The Papal.

[Josh]

Gary Valentine. Valentine's as sweet as anybody.

[Tom]

Wonderful. He's such a nice guy.

[Christy]

I fought with him. He came in here, he got mad at me because I say, yeah, I'm trying to bake the. I'm trying to be more outgoing. I go, what size shoe you wear? Like a nine? He goes, no. So evidently he took it because he had teeny, tiny feet. I guess. Nine.

[Tom]

A nine isn't that small.

[Christy]

He really took it in the wrong way.

[Tom]

You and I are in the 12 club, aren't you, Josh?

[Josh]

Yeah, I am, too. I thought we all were.

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Mr. Oskay.

[Christy]

Pat. Pat wears a ten and a half, maybe an eleven, but heard everybody else wears a twelve, so now he's a twelve.

[Chick]

You still toilet paper in your shoes.

[Christy]

You put toilet paper in your shoes?

[Tom]

I put foam in my shoes, not toilet paper. Jeffrey, what are you?

[Josh]

Ten and a half.

[Tom]

Okay, that's. You and Pat can share shoes.

[Josh]

I am 12 now. My feet grew condoms.

[Tom]

Apparently, my feet grew.

[Christy]

Boy, I really enjoyed that. I really enjoyed that song you played.

[Josh]

Which one?

[Christy]

This morning I have you.

[Tom]

Son of a. Tell me more.

[Christy]

Simplisafe. It's time for your compound to be secure. We trust, simply safe here at the bottom. Tom Studios. We Got the camera and the security system here to protect us. And millions of Americans enjoy that new standard in home security and greater peace of mind every time they arm their system. Traditional security systems only take action after somebody's already broken in. And what is that? Too late. Simplisafe has active guard outdoor protection that helps prevent break ins before they happen.

[Josh]

Chick, do you think George W. Bush calls his compound Compound W?

[Christy]

Compound W. I don't know how he doesn't.

[Tom]

That'd be great.

[Josh]

Yeah, little planters war humor.

[Tom]

It is a small amount of Planters Ward humor, but probably the only radio show on earth doing that kind of comedy today. When I was a kid.

[Christy]

Long term, it comes from frogs. No long term contracts or cancellation fees. Monitoring plans start affordably at around a dollar a day and 60 days satisfaction guarantee. So all you have to do is take advantage of this unbelievable offer, go to simplisafetom.com right now and claim 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and get your first month free.

[Tom]

Welcome to Compound W. That's simply safe. Tom, what voice was that?

[Josh]

That was George W. Bush.

[Christy]

Really?

[Tom]

Was it after he had his surgery? Welcome to Compound W. No, not even close. Try doing. Try doing. Try doing him as an American.

[Christy]

It's close.

[Josh]

That's no Barack.

[Tom]

Welcome to.

[Josh]

Barack is dead. Oh.

[Christy]

How you doing?

[Tom]

What if. What? What if Barack Obama was having a party with George W. Hey, Barack.

[Josh]

Welcome to Compound W. No, not again.

[Christy]

That's not bad.

[Josh]

Thank you, George.

[Tom]

See Michelle Caliento Move over.

[Josh]

Michelle couldn't make it. She hates you, actually. Apparently they're buddies, but anywho.

[Tom]

Okay. Very good. All good to know. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. This episode is brought to you by Selectquote. Life insurance can have a huge impact on our family's future with selectquote Getting covered with the right policy for you is simple and affordable.

[Christy]

Selectquote's licensed insurance agents will tailor your.

[Tom]

Experience to find a life insurance policy for your needs in as little as 15 minutes.

[Christy]

And selectquote partners with carriers that provide.

[Tom]

Policies for many conditions. Select quote they shop, you save. Go to selectquote.com Spotify pod today to get started.

[Christy]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Hi, Josh.

[Josh]

Hi. I have a sports question for the room. When we are done with intros, there's Christy Lee.

[Chick]

Hi.

[Christy]

Hello, Pat Godwin.

[Tom]

Hello, Chick.

[Christy]

We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Hello, Tom.

[Tom]

Hello, Chick McGee. We're catching up with the Sporting scene.

[Christy]

Yes. We have a question.

[Tom]

What is the question?

[Josh]

Racing season is essentially here, right? I'm not too familiar with how the actual seasons work with Indy and NASCAR and stuff, but how do you guys feel about a racing league where there are no pit stops at all? The winner is the last car moving on the track.

[Christy]

So it's basically contest of gas mileage and.

[Josh]

Yeah, yeah, essentially. And no. Any mouth, no malfunctions whatsoever?

[Tom]

Nothing.

[Chick]

Yes.

[Josh]

It's just the best car that lasted the longest.

[Christy]

So theoretically the slowest car could win.

[Josh]

Yeah. You have to stay above a certain mile per hour. You have to stay within like 5 miles per hour.

[Tom]

So you.

[Chick]

That would be an interesting race.

[Tom]

It would.

[Chick]

Well, I mean, it would be boring to watch because nobody would pass because they wouldn't want to use their fuel up or.

[Josh]

You're right. So this is. So we do need to.

[Tom]

You keep working on that, butch. Okay.

[Christy]

You keep thinking butch. That's what you do best.

[Josh]

There are two winners, then one.

[Tom]

No one in the audience.

[Josh]

I will go back to the notebook.

[Christy]

Can I. Can I make an observation that you thought of this sometime last night, let's say. And you go, hey, that's a good idea. Why don't they do that? And then you just left it.

[Tom]

I think they actually do do, like rallies where. That's the case where whoever can go the longest with a specific amount of fuel.

[Josh]

Gotcha. Even worse. Jake, I thought about it one minute ago.

[Christy]

You beat everything.

[Josh]

Tom said the word pit stop, and I thought, oh, what if there were no pit stops?

[Chick]

Okay. I mean, that's a fair question.

[Tom]

Putting a lot of guys out of work.

[Josh]

Yeah, well, I don't want to do that.

[Christy]

NBA playoffs last night. Shut up. Jason Tatum, the Tater. That's right. He's the tater. 35 points, 10 assists, 8 bards and the seas. How do you feel about that? The Seas.

[Josh]

It was the Seahawks.

[Christy]

Every now and then they'll call the Celtics the Seas. Yeah, they've started this. I think it's the first season I've seen it. They call the Pacers the Sirs. How do you feel about that, Tom?

[Tom]

Terrible.

[Josh]

Are you making that up?

[Christy]

I am not. Type in Pacers Cers shirts and see what comes up. I think last night they had gold night and everybody had.

[Chick]

They did have shirts on. I saw that Sir.

[Christy]

C E R C E R S on their shirts for the Pacers.

[Josh]

Now, not every team is going to do that kind of thing.

[Christy]

Anyway. Celtics.

[Tom]

That could be sort of awkward.

[Josh]

Some of them Tigers win the Series.

[Tom]

And I think they have a few.

[Christy]

That are in five games. Pistons. Hang on. They force a game six. They beat the Knicks at the Garden. Spike was not happy. 106, 103 last night. And Jamal Murray, 43 points and the Nuggets 131. 115 winners in Denver over the guts Los Angeles Clippers. The gets and the purrs.

[Josh]

Starting to like it.

[Chick]

What?

[Tom]

Clips. Clips?

[Josh]

Who did not say that the first time I heard clips.

[Christy]

The gets and the purrs. I've heard them called the clips. Absolutely.

[Josh]

Yes. People say the clips. Yeah.

[Chick]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Tom]

Does that mean that they're hip and cool?

[Christy]

Did you find a picture of the Sirs? The Sirs T shirt for the Pacers.

[Chick]

Oh, I was looking.

[Tom]

I'm looking right now.

[Christy]

I was wrapped up in me. I forgot.

[Chick]

I was looking.

[Christy]

Yes, sir.

[Chick]

There you go.

[Josh]

Oh, my.

[Christy]

There it is.

[Josh]

I'm gonna write them a letter. I really.

[Christy]

Will it be sternly warded.

[Josh]

It'll be signed two Sirs with love.

[Tom]

Lulu reference for you.

[Christy]

Boy, that's a great. That is a great movie.

[Chick]

It is a great movie.

[Tom]

We just lost Lulu.

[Josh]

Didn't she pass away?

[Tom]

We did.

[Josh]

Yeah. It was not long ago. Yeah.

[Tom]

We lost. I didn't know that. She's in the movie too.

[Christy]

It was a. It was an amazing movie accident. It was a lulu.

[Josh]

Right, right. That last step's a real lulu. Actually, it was in Hawaii.

[Christy]

Oh, it wasn't an Honolulu somebody.

[Tom]

Yeah. She died hula hooping.

[Christy]

Didn't somebody hula.

[Tom]

All right. Is there any way to get out of this?

[Josh]

Too much poi.

[Tom]

So do all. Are all the teams.

[Christy]

You gotta watch your poi.

[Tom]

Oh, are all the teams doing this shortening of the names?

[Christy]

I don't know if all the teams are. I'm sure the Titans, the NFL aren't doing it.

[Josh]

It don't. I thought I ended it.

[Tom]

They'd be the Tans. I mean, well, I guess. I mean, we're going with the second half of the name, right?

[Christy]

That seems to be the brand. Yes.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Christy]

Although I've heard Celts for the Celtics.

[Tom]

C, E, L, T, S. Okay.

[Christy]

Celts.

[Josh]

Go.

[Christy]

Celts.

[Josh]

Go. Celts. Go.

[Christy]

Shelts.

[Josh]

It should be Celtic.

[Christy]

Yes, it should be Celtic. That's the way A beloved New York Mets fan, which, let's face it, this guy was the only one. Have you ever met a Mets or a Yankee?

[Josh]

I have been to Yankees games and.

[Christy]

Mets games that you could label as well. He's beloved.

[Josh]

No, but.

[Christy]

No.

[Tom]

Jerry Seinfeld's A big mess.

[Josh]

Some of the funniest heckling I've ever heard. Fans yelling at outfielders at those games.

[Christy]

Oh, those kind of.

[Josh]

It's brutal.

[Christy]

His name is Tom. You want to do the honors? I feel like I'm not serving you.

[Tom]

His name is Seymour Wiener.

[Josh]

No kidding.

[Tom]

And he's a. He's a great man. He was. He died at the age of 98.

[Christy]

He's a World War II veteran.

[Tom]

World War II veteran. And he was. He was honored last year on opening day.

[Josh]

Look.

[Tom]

As the veteran of the game.

[Josh]

That's wonderful. He survived World War II, but he really. He survived junior high in childhood. Yeah.

[Tom]

And he said. Because of his name. He said to the New York Times. To me, it's been enjoyable. It in no way annoys me.

[Josh]

Oh, that's good.

[Tom]

Look at all the notoriety I've gotten out of being named Seymour Wiener. I have. No, that's his name. Seymour Wiener. And I'll tell you this. I have written. I have ridden the New York subway a lot. I'd like to see Les Wiener, if you don't mind.

[Christy]

Didn't they used to. He should have written a book called the Best Cargo Shorts.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Tom]

I think he was. I think he was at the fashion thing in Milan.

[Josh]

In the locker room by Seymour Wiener.

[Christy]

Yeah. Under the bleach. No, that's Seymour Heiney Speedo Split by Seymour Wiener.

[Tom]

He survived by his son.

[Josh]

Who's that?

[Tom]

Hugh G. Weiner.

[Josh]

Oh, yeah. And as a daughter, Anita.

[Christy]

Bless her heart.

[Josh]

Yeah, bless her heart.

[Tom]

Interestingly enough, he. He died the way he wanted to go out.

[Josh]

How's that?

[Tom]

Choking on a hot dog.

[Josh]

You know, I. That's.

[Tom]

I have that.

[Josh]

My will only resuscitate me and have me choking a hot dog, so that.

[Tom]

Okay, 98.

[Chick]

Good run.

[Tom]

Yeah. If you're just joining us, hello. This is the Bomb and Tom show coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Right over there is Chick McGee. Do we have any more Sporting News?

[Christy]

God help me, I love these book titles.

[Tom]

They are funny. What have you got over there?

[Christy]

Well. American Breakfast by Crispy Bacon.

[Tom]

You have rusty bed springs.

[Christy]

Are you dancing by. Are you asking? Blushing by Rosy Cheeks? Bricklaying by Bill Jerome Wall.

[Josh]

Bill Jerome Wall.

[Tom]

That's a good one. That's new. That's new.

[Christy]

Bull Fighting by Matt Adore Matador Carpet Fitting by Walter Wall.

[Josh]

Of course, I got Walter Wall Carpeting.

[Christy]

Whoa. Cloudburst by Wayne Dwaps.

[Josh]

Pretty good.

[Tom]

What's the one with a banister? That's always been my favorite oh.

[Christy]

Sliding down the Banister by Peter Burns. Hair Today Gone Tomorrow by I Am Balding Silly. These are all How Can I Help by Len D. Hand. Let's see. Off the Beaten Truck. Off the Beaten Track by Duff the Rhodes.

[Josh]

And very good impression, let's say.

[Christy]

Yeah. You know, his son talks like that.

[Josh]

Yes.

[Christy]

It's crazy. School Sports by Jim Nasium. Anything your your Future by Claire Voyance Voice amplification by Mike Raphone Mike. Sword Joints by A. King. Okay, that's so simple.

[Josh]

I like it. These are all clean and cute.

[Christy]

Well, yeah, they're fun.

[Tom]

Yeah, you don't want to get. You don't want to get to the shortened Michael Hunt. Yeah, that's a little rough.

[Josh]

Mini skirt.

[Christy]

How about concept? Here you go. Here you go. Dirty Mind.

[Tom]

All right.

[Christy]

Constipation by Anita Poo.

[Chick]

He doesn't like the word poo, does he?

[Tom]

No. Poop.

[Josh]

You got to go with poop if.

[Tom]

It'S in a song.

[Josh]

Not poop.

[Christy]

Not pooh. Well, I don't get this one. Coffee Maker by Phil Tur. I get that, but Cath. Cath. Tier.

[Tom]

What?

[Christy]

Cathed. C A T H, I guess. Carafe. Tier. T I E R. Catheter.

[Tom]

Joke. Catheter.

[Christy]

Coffee Maker by Filter and Cath.

[Tom]

Tur.

[Josh]

Oh, I don't know.

[Tom]

They're pushing it now. Oh, what's cooking?

[Christy]

Pasta?

[Josh]

Yeah. Al dente.

[Christy]

Al dente.

[Tom]

You know him.

[Christy]

Oh, look what we've got here, kids. Here we go. Stupid world record.

[Josh]

Now, you warned us that this was gross or off.

[Christy]

Putting it wigs me out, man. I will not be looking. A man from Uruguay has broken the Guinness World Record for the farthest eyeball pop.

[Chick]

Nope. No, no, no.

[Josh]

I got to take a look at this.

[Chick]

Look at eyes.

[Christy]

Williams Lopez earned the record title revealed his eyes can protrude 0.74 inches.

[Josh]

Wow.

[Christy]

That's over way over a half inch. He first discovered the unusual talent. He was about 8 or 9 years old. He's now a father of four. He shares his ability on social media.

[Chick]

All right, Poke your eye out.

[Josh]

This is always interesting. I've seen a woman do it. There's a famous woman that did it.

[Tom]

Yeah, Just bulge and they just kind of. You can. I mean it. You can sort of see the globular.

[Chick]

But I mean, you have to use your finger. What?

[Josh]

I mean, do you know if this guy uses his finger? Does he just kind of flex his face?

[Tom]

That. I don't know.

[Christy]

I think he.

[Tom]

I just saw still photograph he wax him in the back of the Head. I know that his springs.

[Josh]

Are you to show him a picture of a pretty lady?

[Tom]

Yeah, yeah. His. That's the thing. His. His father was a cartoon wolf.

[Josh]

Oh, he's part of the Avery family.

[Tom]

Yes.

[Christy]

Is that right?

[Tom]

His name? Williams Martin Sanchez Lopez.

[Josh]

Sounds like a.

[Tom]

Do we have the photograph?

[Christy]

Did we. It's a warning here.

[Josh]

That's all right.

[Tom]

Fair enough. Here it comes.

[Chick]

I'm not watching.

[Tom]

Here it comes.

[Josh]

I'm going to watch. Yeah. Very odd.

[Tom]

It looks like he has two golf balls and he's. He's squinting. His one eyeball is almost completely out of.

[Josh]

It is. Yeah. Yeah.

[Christy]

That's no good at all.

[Chick]

That is no good.

[Josh]

It's almost like you painted eyeballs on sun tanning glasses.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Josh]

And put them over your eyes.

[Tom]

They are popping out.

[Josh]

Yeah. It's unpleasant.

[Tom]

Wow.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Tom]

No, it is possible to knock an eyeball out.

[Josh]

Yes.

[Tom]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh]

You punch somebody hard enough in the temple.

[Tom]

Happened at a wrestling match in Japan. Was it. Was that recently? I remember seeing.

[Chick]

Was it hanging or did the optic nerve break off or whatever.

[Tom]

Hanging there.

[Josh]

And they say just push it back in.

[Chick]

Really?

[Tom]

Yes.

[Josh]

Yes. Now, I would go somewhere and have a. Have a doctor do it, but you can just push your eye back in. Yeah.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Josh]

That's pretty gross.

[Christy]

Okay, well.

[Josh]

Is that Jason Voorhees squeezed a man's hand in Friday the 13th part 3 in 3D and his eyeball pops out in 3D.

[Christy]

Comes right out into the eye.

[Tom]

Okay, good.

[Josh]

Very strong man.

[Tom]

Thank you very much. That concludes our sports broadcast. And we turn to the SILAC Insurance news desk, where you'll find Christy Lee in her nice hoodie today.

[Chick]

Thank you. And this is a story I think that'll affect all of you, but especially for my friend, Chick. Listening to our favorite music activates the same parts of the brain as food and sex, according to new research.

[Christy]

I believe that.

[Josh]

Interesting.

[Chick]

The study showed listening to the tunes we like most affects the function of the brain's opioid system. Researchers explain music can evoke instant pleasure, sometimes experienced physically as pleasant chills.

[Tom]

Absolutely. Yes. It's a very lengthy study. It was done in Finland. And they say that the essence of it is music, much like sexual, but apparently especially effective with vinyl records. Because of the warmness? No, no. Because the hole is a lot tighter. Oh.

[Chick]

Well.

[Christy]

I had a feeling he was reeling us in.

[Josh]

Yeah. But we're trying to learn something here. How dare you distract us with that terrific joke. That was funny.

[Tom]

That was very funny. Sorry.

[Josh]

I almost stepped on it.

[Tom]

And what Is the thing called. I was trying to remember. Is it.

[Christy]

Is the.

[Tom]

Is it the spindle in a record player? I forget all that stuff now in the 45 that. Well, there's that. There's the thing in the 45 that.

[Chick]

Goes adapter that in the middle.

[Josh]

That's called something goofy.

[Tom]

But the regular vinyl record has that pencil size hole in it.

[Josh]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Christy]

That's the spindle that goes.

[Tom]

The spindle is the thing that goes in there. Okay. Did you ever have the thing where you could stack vinyl on the spindle?

[Christy]

It was a thicker spindle that went over the.

[Tom]

And then it would have a little gizmo that would pop in and drop the next record.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Thus ruining all of your records eventually giving him that nice sound. Okay. Yeah. We used to call it the Q Burn. Thank you, Christie. That'd be a good name for an oldies band. Incredibly obscure.

[Chick]

I like that.

[Tom]

You know what that mcuburn means, Josh?

[Josh]

I. I am aware you guys have discussed it before that when you first put the needle into the groove and you get.

[Tom]

That would get. Because on. On radio you'd back them up. You'd back up the record with your finger. So when you hit the button, it would take time to get up to speed.

[Josh]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom]

And if you did that enough times in the record, it would start with A.

[Josh]

And I'm guessing it's qu, as in that that song is in queue to be played next.

[Tom]

It was cue for some reason every time I ever saw it. But technically, probably. You're probably right. It should have been enough obscure radio talk. What do we have coming up, Christy Lee?

[Chick]

Coming up, we. Do you like. Like to help people move. We'll talk about that.

[Josh]

No, I don't think anybody does.

[Chick]

I have another great story for you, Josh, about the sense of smell and perfumes and you know that people wear that are obnoxious.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Chick]

Well, we have one bakery that is getting involved in that. And we have fart spray. Speaking of smells. Coming up.

[Tom]

And the Fetish of the Year. Yes.

[Josh]

Really? Yeah.

[Chick]

Fetish of the Year.

[Tom]

Fetish of the Year. It's all coming up. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom Show Contest rules, go to bobandtom.com contest rules. Or just scroll down to the bottom of the page and see Contest Rules.

[Christy]

This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom]

This episode is brought to you by Lifelock.

[Chick]

Not everyone is careful with your personal.

[Tom]

Information, which might explain why there's A victim of Identity theft every five seconds in the U.S. fortunately, there's LifeLock. Lifelock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity. If your identity is stolen, a US based restoration specialist will fix it, guaranteed, or your money back. Save up to 40% your first year by visiting lifelock.com podcast terms apply.

[Christy]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Josh Arnold, Christy Lee, Pat Godwin, Jeff OSKAY ON Chick McGee. Hello, Tom. What delightful beverage are you enjoying from Java House?

[Tom]

Oh, well, thank you very much. The Java House. The official beverages of the Bob and Tom Show. Including Josh's favorite, of course, which is the cocoa.

[Josh]

Yeah, that's my favorite of any hot cocoa. Yes. I'm not drinking hot cocoa every morning. I don't want people to think that.

[Tom]

Why not?

[Josh]

Why?

[Christy]

Because that's.

[Josh]

I'm not Santa. Why would I do that?

[Tom]

I think you could. You could be a young Santa.

[Josh]

My favorite of their coffees is the medium roast Colombian.

[Chick]

And you know what's really fun? If you mix the two.

[Josh]

I know. I don't want to. I don't want to get into that habit.

[Chick]

And it's a mocha.

[Christy]

What do you don't want to get into the habit of enjoying life?

[Josh]

I already enjoy the Java House. I don't need the mocha tube, you evil temptress, you.

[Tom]

Java House sounds like it'd be a really cool band, doesn't it?

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Hey, Java House is playing tonight. It's not. It's. It's the official beverage of the Bob and Tom Show. Including the athletic juice that Christie drinks. That's not the proper term.

[Josh]

Energy drinks. Hydration drinks.

[Chick]

Hydration drink.

[Josh]

Both. Yeah.

[Tom]

And a hydration drink. Sounds like you're going into space. Well, I have to get John Glennis hydration drink.

[Chick]

It's important to stay hydrated. Right, Pat, what happens?

[Josh]

You get cramps.

[Tom]

Charlie Horse. Yes. Back your legs when you're right.

[Chick]

When you're Throws of passion.

[Josh]

Jolly horse.

[Tom]

Is that. Well, let me see if I can word this in a delicate manner. If. So you're suggesting that this has happened to you in a. In an encounter with a ruins.

[Josh]

Really Ruins thing. Has it never happened to you during sex?

[Chick]

Never had that happen.

[Tom]

Is that. Is that common? Am I missing something?

[Josh]

I feel like it's happened to every guy at some point.

[Chick]

It happens to women? Yeah.

[Christy]

I can't. I can't remember if it has.

[Josh]

Oh, okay. It's really something. Something.

[Tom]

It was some kind of sort of extracurricular thrusting.

[Josh]

Well, maybe it is using muscles. You haven't used it.

[Christy]

I'm guessing you guys didn't stretch though before, right?

[Josh]

No.

[Christy]

There you go.

[Josh]

That is the key, isn't it?

[Christy]

There's a problem. You gotta stretch well.

[Chick]

And Tom only does it, you know, Ivy League style seven times, so he didn't have a chance.

[Tom]

These are all very funny, Tom.

[Josh]

Say what they call a three pump chump.

[Tom]

A three pump chunk chump.

[Josh]

Yeah. Are you?

[Christy]

Absolutely.

[Tom]

Wait a minute. You're telling me you've gotten to three?

[Josh]

No.

[Tom]

No. You. What kind of a are you. Could we possibly move on? I feel like I've walked into a.

[Chick]

You just feel uncomfortable when we talk about sex. I love it.

[Josh]

You really do.

[Tom]

Coming up, it'll be sexy time with Ali Breen. Charlie Horse during intimate activity.

[Chick]

Oh, yeah. Very common.

[Josh]

Have you ever faked an orgasm as a guy to get done.

[Christy]

To finish the.

[Josh]

I haven't. But I have said, said, hey, it's not gonna happen.

[Chick]

And yeah, that's fair.

[Tom]

You mean. You mean referencing yourself?

[Josh]

Yes. No.

[Christy]

No. Referencing the third guy in there? No.

[Josh]

Or even referencing her. Hey, babe, I'm sorry. You're not gonna finish.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Josh]

It's not gonna happen for you.

[Tom]

It's not your. It's not your name as a woman.

[Chick]

I've said that. You know.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Chick]

Sorry. It's just not gonna happen.

[Josh]

Right. Have you faked it as a woman, though?

[Chick]

No, I never fake it.

[Tom]

She spends all of her. I'm faking liking this show.

[Josh]

Yeah. Yeah. She's faked out by the fake out.

[Tom]

I say it's time for a song and perhaps a new story first.

[Chick]

You have a story.

[Tom]

What have you got over there with a song?

[Chick]

Might lead to a song. Let's see.

[Christy]

How fingers crossed, huh?

[Chick]

A new poll reveals the links.

[Tom]

Stop it.

[Chick]

A new poll reveals the links some people will go to to avoid helping others move.

[Josh]

Oh.

[Chick]

The Talker research survey of 2,000 U.S. adults commissioned by Safeway Moving found that only one in four Americans will try anything to get out of helping someone else move. Nearly 40% I once moved.

[Tom]

Not have to help somebody move. That's how. That's how much I hate it.

[Christy]

That ate itself.

[Tom]

Yeah. I hate helping people move.

[Chick]

Nearly 40% secretly hate being out asked to help their friends and family.

[Tom]

That's a low number. Yeah, it's.

[Chick]

80 respondents said they could only be enticed to help through payments of food and drinks money or returning the favor when the time comes. 4 out of 5 people admitted to Turning to their friends and family for help in moving. What if somebody offers? Do you offer to help people move, hoping they will say no?

[Josh]

No, I've offered. I've offered knowing they were going to say yes.

[Tom]

Yes, I have.

[Chick]

Have you?

[Josh]

Yeah. In my younger days, we've had people.

[Tom]

And. And then. Now, let me ask you this. When you were helping one of these young ladies move, when they weren't looking, as you were boxing up their panties, were you sniffing them?

[Chick]

Oh, my God.

[Josh]

It was not a young lady, Tom. It was my brother. And yes to that last part.

[Tom]

I think there's an age component to this.

[Chick]

Of course there is.

[Tom]

When you're in your. Well, yeah. When you're in your 20s. Yeah.

[Josh]

It's kind of. It's not a terrible hang afterwards, you know?

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Chick]

Beer and pizza.

[Josh]

Right? But it's.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Yeah. Unless your college roommate asks you to move. And he has a barber chair. Thank you, chick. An authentic barber. Those things weigh.

[Christy]

How much those things weigh?

[Chick]

How many. How many flights of stairs did you have to carry?

[Tom]

It was a. No, no. It was a really rickety outdoor staircase.

[Christy]

Okay, now hang on a second. You have added outdoor, rickety staircase. That. That is. That is a new detail in the story.

[Tom]

I think they're made of cast iron.

[Chick]

Or something very heavy. Yes.

[Tom]

I wonder if he still has it. I kind of doubt it.

[Christy]

I think. I think Pat wants to get to the song.

[Josh]

Oh, I was testing my organ. Couch beds or whatever that. What are those called?

[Tom]

Sofa bed.

[Josh]

Sofa beds.

[Tom]

Hide a bed.

[Josh]

Yeah, those are always crazy heavy.

[Tom]

Yeah, I left one of those in an apartment in New York rather than move it out.

[Josh]

I don't blame you, man. Yeah.

[Tom]

Sixth floor, walk up on west.

[Chick]

West 80th floor, walk up.

[Tom]

Oh, Mr. Chen was our landlord.

[Josh]

Okay. Pat, sing to us about moving. I was trying to. Yes. I'm not. I was.

[Tom]

I was.

[Josh]

I wanted to move things along.

[Chick]

Really.

[Tom]

Whoa, Billy Swan.

[Josh]

If you gotta move forward, I understand your problem. If you need a hand, I can tell you this.

[Tom]

I can't help.

[Josh]

I got one bomb arm. I can't help.

[Tom]

Oh, yeah. And I have a bad back.

[Josh]

I don't want a spasm attack.

[Tom]

I can't help.

[Josh]

Oh, I know you're low on money. I know this while you called, but do us all a favor and rent you all. We can't help. Oh, we're all in our 50s. We can't help.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Josh]

I can buy my own pizza and I don't drink beer.

[Tom]

I can't help.

[Josh]

Yeah. Did I mention that day I'LL be out of town for work. Out of town?

[Tom]

Oh, I don't ask you to drive me to the airport.

[Josh]

Cause I'm not a jerk. Sustained. Goats. What are you doing?

[Chick]

Where?

[Josh]

Moving really sucks. Don't involve your friends. Call 2Bandana a truck.

[Tom]

They can help.

[Josh]

They got dollies and ladders.

[Tom]

Help.

[Josh]

It would sure do me good if you hired movers.

[Tom]

I can't help.

[Josh]

I can't help. Chick.

[Tom]

I can't help.

[Christy]

He can't help. He won't help.

[Josh]

I can.

[Christy]

He will not help.

[Josh]

Okay. All right.

[Tom]

Very nice.

[Josh]

Damn right.

[Tom]

That was good.

[Christy]

By the way, Billy Swan has a great version of Don't Be Cruel. That's really cool.

[Josh]

If you need to a heart. That's true.

[Christy]

Yeah. Get a chance to listen.

[Tom]

I love that song. He's still around.

[Christy]

I think so. With two ends.

[Tom]

Billy Swan. That's a great song. Well, thank you.

[Christy]

Christopherson's buddy.

[Tom]

I thought. Yes.

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Kris Kristofferson bought him the organ that he played. I can help on famously an obscure song. Well worth. Well worth digging up. Up.

[Josh]

Do you know Ringo? That was supposed to be his cover, but he was inebriated at the time and had to get help.

[Tom]

And it went to Billy Swan.

[Josh]

Why come Ringo didn't ask Billy Shears to do it? That's fascinating.

[Christy]

Not necessarily funny, but fascinating.

[Tom]

He didn't have enough help from his friend.

[Josh]

I mean, we can do this all day.

[Tom]

I don't know. I didn't know the Ringo thing. Billy Swan, he wrote that song.

[Josh]

Yeah. There's an actual cover of Ringo doing it.

[Tom]

It, yeah. Oh, that'd be interesting.

[Josh]

I mean, it's like. It sounds Ringo. Yeah, it does.

[Chick]

You're right.

[Tom]

Well, let's, let's move forward here. We have.

[Josh]

What.

[Tom]

Well, tell me this, Christy Lee, what is coming up?

[Chick]

Well, we have a personal care brand looking for people that want to sniff giant armpits. Maybe we have a fart spray. We have rampant masturbation in the news. Rampant.

[Tom]

We got a bunch of smell news today. We have a. We have a fart spray story from the police.

[Christy]

Can't you hear Lester Holt doing this? Today we're gonna have an armpit smell. And then there's a new fart spray on the market.

[Tom]

Have you ever noticed an abc? ABC Evening News? Every, every, every night. It begins with breaking news as we come to the air.

[Josh]

Ah.

[Tom]

No matter what it is, I, I.

[Christy]

I can't even speak to you if you're not watching Lester anymore. I don't know what your problem is. You're just trying to cause trouble between us.

[Tom]

I think I'm. I'm enjoying. I'm enjoying David. It does a nice job. Muir and CBS is. Boy, they're tanking.

[Josh]

I miss Nora.

[Tom]

What were they thinking?

[Josh]

I love not watching any of that.

[Chick]

Me too.

[Christy]

You've heard of David Muir?

[Josh]

D. Muir.

[Tom]

By the way, if you notice, I'm D mule. Any excuse for him to be in the field wearing a T shirt, showing his muscles.

[Chick]

He's a good looking.

[Josh]

He's a fit guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom]

He loves, he loves, he loves taking that shirt off.

[Josh]

Is he a silver fox yet?

[Tom]

No.

[Chick]

No.

[Tom]

Okay. He's got a lot of hair product. That's all I'm saying. But he does a very nice job. Let's see now.

[Christy]

He went on for like 20 minutes one morning last week about how. Aw. The CBS News is now with the two guys.

[Tom]

It's terrible. You watched it?

[Josh]

It is the worst.

[Tom]

I'll give you 50 bucks if you can sit through it and not change the channel.

[Chick]

The evening news.

[Tom]

Yeah. They got rid of Nora, right? She was great. Now for those of you that don't watch the news like Josh. And we'll just let more exciting things wash your head. Like, like fart spray news. Yeah. And bad perfume news. And I know you hate perfume. That's all coming up. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom show.

[Christy]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Top show. At the Silac Insurance news desk, it's Christy Lee.

[Chick]

Present.

[Christy]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Josh]

Hey, Chick.

[Christy]

Hey, Pat. There's Josh Arnold at the ih Steven Singer, sidekick chair.

[Josh]

Steven Singer's limited edition brand new blue moon 24 karat gold dipped rose for Mother's Day is available right. Right now. But listen, there's a limited quantity, so don't miss out. Get yours today at I hate stevensinger.com.

[Christy]

I'M Chick McGee. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. There's Jeff Oskay and. Hello, Tom.

[Tom]

Hello, Chick Beay. At the risk of getting you mildly upset.

[Josh]

Oh, what do you got?

[Christy]

What do you got?

[Tom]

Pat just did a fun.

[Christy]

Don't test me.

[Tom]

Pat just did a fun parody of the Billy Swan song. I can help. Swan song? It was. It was not Billy Swan Song. He's still with us. But I actually saw Billy Swan.

[Christy]

Oh, God. I was there with Ron Wood and we would Hide. Peter Grant, you're wasting your anger because.

[Tom]

You'Re going to truly get angry in a minute when I tell you.

[Christy]

Oh, all right.

[Tom]

Okay. I saw Billy Swan. I think it was at the Bottom Line in New York in the Village.

[Christy]

Village, yeah, that's what we call it, the Village.

[Tom]

He was playing. He was in the band. Kinky Friedman in the Texas Jew Boys.

[Josh]

Yes.

[Tom]

And I know that. Do you know Kinky's backstory? He was in the Peace Corps, and then he. He was a graduate of the University.

[Christy]

Of Texas, aware of all this.

[Tom]

Wrote the Ballad of Charles Manson. Charlie Starkwood. Sorry. I remember the line. Laughing wildly as you bagged him. But, yeah, that movie with Sissy Spacek.

[Christy]

And Martin Sheen, Badlands. Charles Stark with her. That's what that's about. Yeah.

[Tom]

In any event, Kinky Friedman had Billy Swan on his band.

[Chick]

Wow.

[Tom]

So he was great.

[Chick]

Gotta start somewhere.

[Tom]

I heard him play that before. It was a hit. Cool song. Thank you, Pat, for bringing back that great memory.

[Christy]

Yeah. And thank you, Tom, for I had. No, no, no remembrance of that. And you now put it into my brain.

[Tom]

I always liked Kinky. The late, great Kinky Friedman.

[Christy]

I know you're the only one that ever liked Kinky.

[Tom]

When he came in.

[Chick]

Oh, when he came in here, it was so awkward.

[Josh]

I would have loved it.

[Tom]

Josh. He had a guy. What do you call it? Verbal support guy.

[Christy]

Thank you. Kinky.

[Tom]

He'd do that all the time.

[Christy]

Whatever. Whatever Kinky would say.

[Josh]

I would have gotten such a kick out of that.

[Tom]

I'll have to find the recording of that.

[Josh]

Thank you. And then watching you guys get upset would have. Unfortunately, I don't like this about me, but I would have enjoyed it even more than. And encouraged more. Thank you, King. It's like when Bob Zany comes in. I think Bob Zany's funny, and I think how much he annoys Tom and Jim is funny.

[Chick]

I love Bob Zany as well. I think he's very funny.

[Christy]

Who's this? Bob Zany?

[Josh]

I love it.

[Christy]

Not familiar with that.

[Tom]

We'll be about to go on a break, and I'll say, look, Bob, let me plug the gigs. And the break starts and he plugs the gigs. And I just.

[Josh]

I know, but in his defense, you're the only one he.

[Tom]

He.

[Josh]

Everybody else he talks to, he has to plug his own gigs. So you're being very generous with him.

[Tom]

But when I say, don't do it, and then he does it two minutes.

[Josh]

Later, he's a difficult.

[Tom]

Like dealing with my dog. Okay, don't do this. Okay. Sorry. Anyway, nice to hear about the great married Billy Swan.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Tom]

You ever seen his lake?

[Josh]

No, no, I haven't.

[Christy]

I've seen the Swan Lake.

[Josh]

I've heard it's lovely.

[Christy]

Seen the ballet? Yeah. I didn't know he was into the ballet world. Swan Lake.

[Tom]

See, we have, we have Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance.

[Christy]

There she is.

[Tom]

Hey.

[Chick]

Authorities say chaos broke out on a Connecticut beach following a fart spray, panic or prank. The Fairfield Police Department said a crowd was seen running.

[Josh]

It smells like farts out here.

[Chick]

Jennings beat during an event known as the McKinley Carnival.

[Josh]

Who keeps farting?

[Christy]

President McKinley was the greatest president ever. Welcome to the McKinley Carnival. At the sound of the gun, the farting begins.

[Chick]

Officials said, quote, the disruption was caused by a group of kids using flatulence spray near the carnival exit.

[Josh]

Funny. Oh, near the exit yet. So to escape it, you had to go through it.

[Tom]

Yes. It's funny that they would. The police would go that formal.

[Chick]

This prank, it continues, repeated several times throughout the night, led to confusion and caused small groups to scream and run.

[Tom]

It's flatulence play, as they say, he whom smelt it. Very formal. Yes. Have you ever. Didn't we want.

[Chick]

Did we have farts?

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Josh]

I mean that stuff is, it's really, it's really bad. Yeah.

[Chick]

Yeah. I'm not familiar with it.

[Tom]

I don't think Very, very potent. I mean if, if it can work outside. That's why it gets all. Nothing but five star Amazon reviews. Yeah.

[Josh]

If it works on a beach.

[Tom]

Yeah. Here you're, you're at a nice breezy beach and people are fleeing screaming.

[Chick]

This group in here seems like some that would do this as kids.

[Christy]

What do you mean? This group never did.

[Josh]

Never did it? Always appreciated when somebody, a stink bomb would be let off in school. I, I always.

[Chick]

Okay.

[Josh]

I always had respect for whoever did it.

[Chick]

Okay.

[Josh]

Yeah. Good for you. And shake us up a little bit.

[Tom]

Thank you.

[Chick]

Did you ever prank anybody, Jeff?

[Tom]

Are you a prankster?

[Josh]

Nope.

[Chick]

Nope. Huh. Okay.

[Christy]

Hey, Tom.

[Tom]

Huh? All right.

[Chick]

A bakery in New Jersey had the opposite problem. They have a message for customers wearing heavy perfume or cologne. Stay out.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Chick]

Good Century Bakery in Bridgeton said the perfume is only going to be used through the drive thru. If you're going to wear it, you got a drive through, a drive through bakery. They explained people use the drive thru if you wear strong perfume or cologne. Some of their staff have asthma and this time of year is especially tough due to high pollen levels. Sense in the store can make that worse. The bakery said the policy is about protecting their employees health.

[Christy]

That makes sense.

[Chick]

And they thanked customers for understanding that really makes sense. And reminded them that the cake smells better than any cologne anyway.

[Tom]

But if you're overpowering the cinnamon rolls.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Christy]

Hey, use no cologne name baked yeast though. Okay.

[Tom]

There's nothing better than the smoke of a bakery though. Really.

[Christy]

Oh, that your favorite smell? Oh, it's very nice. What about that? Sweet. Sweet.

[Tom]

That's the best about that smell.

[Josh]

Not bad either. Coppery. Josh, you seem excited about the drive Thru bakery. Have you not seen that before? I haven't.

[Chick]

I haven't seen a drive through.

[Josh]

Besides like your Krispy Kremes or whatever, I haven't seen.

[Chick]

Oh, really?

[Josh]

You can just go get a. Hey, can I get a boysenberry pie?

[Tom]

No, don't put it in a box.

[Christy]

I need a borscht. A boysenberry pie and a fork.

[Tom]

Yeah. Fork. I don't need a fork. I just need some rubber gloves. We're going for it.

[Josh]

Wearing too much cologne or perfume is a form of bullying. And you. It is you out there who do it should know that.

[Chick]

Yes.

[Tom]

People aren't. They aren't aware of how much they stink.

[Chick]

I. I agree with you. I don't. They can't smell their own.

[Tom]

Yeah. There's someone in this building that just.

[Christy]

Okay.

[Tom]

Well, no, I mean, yeah.

[Christy]

Okay.

[Chick]

When they walk by you on the street and you can taste it in your mouth, you know that.

[Josh]

You ever gotten door dash where the bag reeks of the cologne?

[Christy]

Yes, I have. Yes, absolutely.

[Tom]

That if the cologne is cannabis sativa.

[Josh]

Yes. No, I wouldn't mind that as much.

[Christy]

Absolutely. Yeah.

[Josh]

Yeah. It's insane.

[Christy]

Yep.

[Chick]

Really?

[Josh]

I was like, boy, that is a lot.

[Christy]

Like a day later you pick up what you ordered and what it still smells like.

[Josh]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Christy]

A cheap poor.

[Tom]

There should be a TV commercial for perfume where they do some kind of a jury of people with noses that would rate it like a smell off.

[Chick]

Well, we have that similar right here.

[Josh]

What's that?

[Chick]

Would you like to sniff a giant armpit?

[Christy]

Nope.

[Chick]

The personal care brand, Billy. Sure hope so. They're rolling out a bold scratch and sniff campaign across New York City to promote their newest tropical inspired scent, Coco Villa or Villa. Coco Villa. Now through Friday, May 16, passersby can take a whiff of a massive armpit on the street. Yes, really. And sample the scent of their best selling all day deodorant.

[Josh]

I thought that was a French chicken dish.

[Chick]

Coco Villa.

[Christy]

Yeah, that's Coco.

[Chick]

Oh, sorry.

[Tom]

Doesn't that Mean Chocolate House.

[Josh]

Coco Villa.

[Chick]

Yeah, I think it does, doesn't it?

[Tom]

Right.

[Christy]

Villa.

[Josh]

By the way, Bob Vila. Really? Bob House.

[Tom]

I've always loved that show.

[Josh]

I know, but you're calling yourself Bob House and you build houses.

[Tom]

You think that's a fake name?

[Josh]

If it isn't, it's a little bit.

[Tom]

If it were like, Roberto Vila.

[Josh]

I wonder if his real name is Bob Vila.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Josh]

I mean, I guess really it would be Bob Casa. Right.

[Chick]

Jason saying it is Bob Vila. That's his real name.

[Josh]

All right, well, I guess your name is your destiny.

[Chick]

I guess.

[Tom]

Would you go, so this is a giant scratch and stuff, Armpit. Would you go up and do this? Would you give it a shot?

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Chick]

505 8th Avenue, near Penn Station. If you'd like to take a sniff. Surprise locations around the city.

[Tom]

Does it. So it smells like the deodorant, right?

[Chick]

Right.

[Tom]

Not like a stinky armpit bo.

[Josh]

Is it fleshy?

[Tom]

Trying to find a picture. I bet it smells better than the armpits of that naked cowboy guy after a long day of bouncing around.

[Christy]

That really got to you, didn't it? The naked cowboy. And people hug him, really irritated by him.

[Chick]

Oh, boy.

[Josh]

Did you see him in person?

[Tom]

Oh, yeah. That's awful.

[Josh]

Plus, shouldn't he be called underwear cowboy? Yeah, he's not naked. Yeah, he's got underwear on.

[Tom]

I see.

[Chick]

Well, there's all kinds of different armpits you can smell. Some of them do have hair, by the way. Yeah, they do have a hair.

[Josh]

I had a friend who had an armpit fetish.

[Chick]

Really?

[Josh]

Yes. Still has it, I imagine.

[Christy]

Huh. Now, what does that.

[Josh]

He liked to lick the armpits of his girlfriends.

[Chick]

Okay.

[Tom]

Would he warn them or would this just be a spontaneous.

[Josh]

I think he would say, may I lick your armpit? Yeah. And he. He didn't want the deodorant on it because then you're just licking deodorant.

[Tom]

Did he like them of all stripes?

[Josh]

He's free and, you know, I don't know if he would lick a hairy arm.

[Tom]

How did that come up in conversation?

[Josh]

He just admitted it. He just goes, yeah, I'm into armpits. Yeah. He goes, I like him.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Josh]

I like the.

[Tom]

Just the licking.

[Josh]

He just likes being up in there. Yeah. And licking and. Yeah. I don't know if he does anything else.

[Tom]

Okay, good. Certainly good to know. Coming up, we have pumping of an armpit. Interestingly enough, we have the fetish of the year.

[Josh]

I mean, it is a fleshy crease.

[Tom]

I guess you could 20, 25. Fetish of the year is the headline.

[Josh]

The winner is. Feet again.

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Christy]

Hey. Hey.

[Tom]

Always number one.

[Christy]

Hey, Tom. Tom.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Oh, armpits make that noise sometimes.

[Christy]

Oh, yeah, you can do that with the armpit. I was so jealous. A kid who could do that, like, at a symphony level. It was unbelievable. This kid, and I couldn't do it to save my ass.

[Tom]

See, the same guy that can burp the Alphabet, I think he was, what a talent.

[Josh]

A jack of all trades.

[Tom]

Now he's the CEO of a major corporation making he's dead chips for the. We have a lot coming up. We'll get to all of it in a second.

[Christy]

Fell asleep in the street and got run over by a car.

[Tom]

Oh, that's right. Now, let's say hi to our friends at the Silac Insurance Company. What am I talking about? I'm talking about. Well, right now, the market down substantially in the last few months, as you know. And you're probably thinking, hey, my 401K is a 201Z. This is where something that's. I guess the word is immune to market volatility comes in. I'm talking about an annuity from the Silac Insurance Company. The annuity experts. Annuities are designed to protect your retirement, so you'll have a reliable payment coming your way. It'll also take off some stress right now knowing that in the future you're gonna be okay. Now, I'll also tell you real quick, you can't outlive your money with an annuity. Find out how they work. See what, what, what restrictions might apply. Learn all the [e-mail] or. An easy way to check it out and get some information is to grab your phone and call £250. That's £250. Then just say the keywords lifetime income and learn some information about the Silac Insurance Company. Once again, it's £250. And say the words lifetime income from Silac. An annuity plan on it and live on it. Also, we have a [e-mail] Fetish of the Year on the way. Also coming up, Sexy Time with Ali Breen. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christy]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. There's Pat Godwin.

[Josh]

Hello, Chick.

[Christy]

Hey, man. There's Christy Lee.

[Tom]

Hi.

[Christy]

Hello.

[Josh]

Josh Arnold with some new information regarding armpits.

[Christy]

All right, we're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Jeff Oskay. I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom.

[Tom]

Hello, Chick. We were talking about armpits because what is the name of the company?

[Chick]

The name of the company is Billy. It's a company that has deodorant and they are new tropical inspired scent. Coco Villa or Coco Via, whichever you prefer is a best selling all day deodorant new scent. They want people to scratch and sniff. They have big billboards up in New York City so you can walk up to a big armpit.

[Tom]

It's the same campaign they did for their douche. Wow. So embarrassing.

[Chick]

Yeah. That is a whole different ball game.

[Tom]

And the way they had it by the Lincoln Tunnel, I thought that was.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Really inappropriate.

[Josh]

I mentioned that a friend of mine whose name I won't mention. Hi, Mark. Has a armpit fetish.

[Christy]

Oh.

[Josh]

And he enjoys licking on them. And I didn't know if he actually humped them per se. Well, Christopher has written in. He says, good morning clowns. I've enjoyed your armpit program. By the way, humping an armpit is called bagpiping.

[Chick]

Bag piping.

[Christy]

Now is that because you make a noise like a bag?

[Josh]

It's sort of the, you know, you kind of.

[Christy]

Right.

[Josh]

The bag would be sort of right there. Bag. In this case being breast. And then you sort of pump the arm maybe.

[Christy]

Right, right, right, right.

[Josh]

Whatever is happening. Fantastic. Bag piping. And then he just wrote bye.

[Tom]

Apparently it has multiple meanings in that realm, actually.

[Chick]

Really?

[Tom]

Yeah, yeah. I just made the mistake.

[Chick]

Yeah, don't do that. Don't Google.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Josh]

Bagpiping.

[Tom]

Bagpipe.

[Chick]

That's good stuff. If we're going to talk about that, there's a adult website out there that has named the 2025 Fetish of the year. Okay, you want to guess what it would be?

[Josh]

Well, well, no, I, I. There's so many feet.

[Chick]

Right.

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Josh]

I mean that's, Feet's got to be the most popular.

[Christy]

But feed is time and again.

[Josh]

Maybe they're talking about what's in these days.

[Chick]

Yes, it would be more what's what's in these days. All right, clips for sale noted that chastity is the fetish of the year.

[Tom]

So it's not what's in what? It's what isn't in.

[Josh]

I think doesn't make any sense.

[Chick]

It may seem an odd choice for fetish of the year. I get that, Pat. But it's one that's grown dramatically in the past few years, increasing almost 200% since 2020. The they explained the fetishes core principle is orgasm denial.

[Tom]

Oh.

[Chick]

So it's like the wearing of a chastity belt. One partner has the key. They decide when you release or not. Yeah.

[Josh]

Interesting.

[Chick]

And it usually.

[Tom]

What size chastity belt do you wear? 17. Okay.

[Chick]

It usually involves a man wearing a locked cage or harness to cover his genitals.

[Josh]

Well, how'd you like to wear a locked genital harness?

[Christy]

No.

[Tom]

Is there a.

[Christy]

Thank you.

[Josh]

I'm wearing one right now.

[Tom]

Is there a.

[Josh]

You can hear it.

[Tom]

Is there a slot for. Necessary. Yeah.

[Josh]

Yes.

[Chick]

Well, yes, of course. It would have to be.

[Christy]

Or maybe that's part of the.

[Chick]

Or you rust.

[Christy]

They like it.

[Josh]

Rupric. Don't make me get the genital cuff.

[Christy]

That's right, the old genital cuff.

[Chick]

According to the site, chastity play might last a few hours or days. Days or can extend weeks or longer.

[Josh]

So this is like edging to the.

[Chick]

Nth degree as there is a month long celebration called anyone Locktober. Locktober and its anti sex counterpart. No nut. November. I see the runner up.

[Tom]

October. They could have had so many options.

[Chick]

Yeah, they did.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Tom]

They went with an L. Well, you're locking it up. You're locking up the.

[Christy]

Yeah. If you use any other word, let's say like a C. That would highlight things, wouldn't it? That mean that'd be the exact opposite of locktober.

[Josh]

One time they went with a P member. Pocktober is very niche. That's a pox fetish. Is a very niche. Oh yeah, she's got chickenpox.

[Chick]

The runner up fetishes this year. Here's one I've never heard. Do you know what gooning is?

[Josh]

I do and I'll tell you why. I know what.

[Christy]

Goon sounds familiar.

[Chick]

All right, go up.

[Josh]

From what I understand, it's essentially really being horny over a girl or a person and. And ogling them and masturbating. It's essentially like he's a goon for me. Like he cannot control himself.

[Christy]

Oh, okay.

[Josh]

And the reason that I know this is I was at dinner with a friend of mine and his family and he has teenage sons and they were. They were at this dinner. There were also a bunch of people on the sons lacrosse team or something. And so there were all these teenage boys in the. In the restaurant with us. And I said, oh, that guy is such a goon. And they all started cracking up. And I go, what's funny about that? And they explained to me what goon means these days.

[Tom]

It's not like a guy in a hockey team.

[Josh]

Right, right. Because that's what. What I was talking about. And Like a dork, a goon. They do this from a distance or memory or a photo. So. Yeah, so a porn star could say, hey, where are my goons at? Or something. And she's talking about the fans who can't control them. That's what I was told. I don't know if that. Is that an accurate definition.

[Chick]

Okay, well, gooning on my sheet is a multi screen masturbation session.

[Christy]

Multi screen.

[Josh]

So in this case, goons would watch her do like a show.

[Christy]

They would.

[Josh]

They may have her Facebook page open on her computer. On their computer. Her Instagram on their phone.

[Tom]

Oh, wow.

[Josh]

They're pulling up as many pictures. That's that obsession part.

[Chick]

Okay.

[Josh]

Just totally gluttonous for her.

[Chick]

Gotcha. And then the other runner up. I have to be very careful.

[Josh]

Yes.

[Chick]

Holding.

[Josh]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick]

Wherein a person derives satisfaction from watching their partner have sex with.

[Josh]

No, I sure don't have that.

[Chick]

No.

[Josh]

How'd you like to be cuckolded? I mean, that's such an ancient idea.

[Chick]

Isn't that an ancient term?

[Tom]

Yeah, yeah, but. So that's officially been declared the. What is it again? The fetish of the year is Chastity.

[Josh]

Any of these do anything for you tomorrow?

[Tom]

No, not at all. Doesn't Chastity Fetish sound like the name of a porn star?

[Josh]

Yes, it does.

[Tom]

Chastity Fetish and didn't. Was it Sunny and Share that originally named their kid Chastity? What were they thinking?

[Chick]

They were hoping maybe she would be chased.

[Josh]

They were famous weirdos.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Christy]

What.

[Tom]

But why do that to a kid?

[Josh]

Yeah, well, never thought.

[Chick]

Look how that turned out.

[Christy]

They're hippies.

[Tom]

Okay, okay.

[Josh]

Yeah, let me know. That turned out.

[Tom]

But Chastity winning fetish of the year. Hey.

[Christy]

By the way, if I'm gonna have a meow mix for lunch. Okay.

[Tom]

I could have named him Dick. Nope, not anymore. So I just.

[Christy]

Just.

[Tom]

Chastity is fetish of the years.

[Christy]

It started out. Chastity started out.

[Tom]

I'm very well aware.

[Christy]

No, he's.

[Tom]

Yeah, but I understand it was an.

[Christy]

Addictomy, not a. Oh, okay.

[Tom]

That's a. Like an appendectomy.

[Christy]

Right, Right.

[Josh]

Pretty interesting.

[Tom]

But this is like a non alcoholic beer being declared beer of the year.

[Chick]

Well, I think. I mean, obviously if you've got.

[Christy]

I can't think.

[Chick]

Chastity, belts and locks and all kinds of things involved. It's definitely.

[Christy]

Have you noticed of all the subjects that you should not weigh in on, it would be the fetish topic.

[Josh]

Yeah, there are legitimate news stories out there about kids these days. The youth, you know, 20s.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Having no interest in dating and being in relationships.

[Chick]

Right.

[Josh]

And they kind of don't even care about sex. That tracks with these three fetishes. Sex is not involved in any of them. One is all gooning is all about masturbating. Chastity is no sex. And cuckolding is watching have sex with another person.

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Josh]

This is real. Something's happening.

[Chick]

I have two twenties that are not interested in dating at all. Girls.

[Josh]

Yeah. Something's going on.

[Christy]

Well, the only fans we were asking, they looked like they were.

[Tom]

Well, they were very enthusiastic.

[Chick]

That's how they make money. That's different.

[Tom]

Okay. Oh, thank you. Well, let's just. We'll switch gears here. If you're just joining us. Hello. Hello. This is the Bob and Tom show coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. She's sitting over there. It's Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk. What else is happening?

[Chick]

A burglary suspect dubbed the Birthday Suit Bandit has been apprehended after trying to break into a woman's home in Florida.

[Christy]

That's right. And I trapped his head in the window and I said, oh, never mind. Go ahead, never mind.

[Chick]

The Flagler County Sheriff's Office said it received a call about a nude man attempting to break into a residence. Responding deputies found the 63 year old suspect of Mr. Matthew Hunter, quote, walking away from the victim's residence in his birthday suit. The man was taken into custody for attempted burglary, exposure of sex organs and criminal mischief. The victim told dispatcher she heard what sounded like a knife trying to cut through the lock on her front door. Yikes. Deputies noted gouges on the victim's front door frame and molding. So he's definitely trying to get in.

[Josh]

This is horrifying.

[Chick]

Yeah, but why was he naked?

[Christy]

He had to be wearing shoes though, right?

[Tom]

Good point. But isn't. Do you think the nickname the. The Birthday Suit Bandit is a little bit too mild, too gentle?

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Guy that's got a knife trying to break into a woman's house should be the naked lunatic. Yeah. Or the naked psycho. Yeah, but I do, I mean the name, the birthday suit, the birth. The Birthday Suit Bandit is a cool name.

[Chick]

It does sound a lot more.

[Tom]

But if it were in some kind of. If it were in some kind of playful situation, you know, you could. I could see. Josh. You could do like a birthday suit weekend at your place where nudity is required by all of those over 18.

[Josh]

Hey, look what you can bring your kids but they gotta stay clothed. All right.

[Tom]

Poor kids. Josh.

[Josh]

He'S getting a kick out of it.

[Christy]

He's really. He's going to look back on this. We had a really good show. I look back on it. Great.

[Josh]

Yeah. No, this guy posed a real threat.

[Chick]

Of course he did.

[Tom]

So what would possess you to try to break into a house with no clothes on? There has to be some kind of drug component to this.

[Josh]

He was trying to prick the lock.

[Tom]

Wow. That's. That's very good. I like that. Very.

[Chick]

Residents in a Seattle neighborhood are demanding action over disturbing activity at their local park. They say Denny Blaine park has become a hot spot for public masturbation.

[Josh]

Oh, I see. Are the trees hot?

[Christy]

That's the way Denny would have wanted it.

[Tom]

Don't you feel bad for the poor guy? It's your goo park.

[Christy]

Thanks for naming a park after me, but.

[Tom]

Oh, I would. I would have settled for a disease like Lou Gehrigala came out on.

[Chick]

A group called Denny Blaine for All has filed a lawsuit against the city. They claim men are exposing themselves and masturbating in public view multiple times a day. Spokesperson Lee Keller said, it's illegal. It's happening in plain sight by men sitting on walls and benches. It's constant, and it's troubling.

[Josh]

Constant.

[Chick]

Not everyone agrees.

[Josh]

Another group, local masturbators number 3:32. Who's.

[Tom]

In favor of this?

[Chick]

The friends of Denny Blaine say the lawsuit is really about banning nudity.

[Christy]

That's right. I liked it this way.

[Chick]

Public nudity is legal in Washington state.

[Josh]

It is?

[Tom]

Yeah. But there's the difference between public nudity and. What did you say? They're sitting on walls, having it themselves.

[Chick]

Benches, masturbating.

[Josh]

You can walk down the street naked in Washington state.

[Chick]

That's what it says in my story. I did not know.

[Christy]

Even Walla Walla, Washington. Wow.

[Josh]

See, in Seattle, you can just walk.

[Christy]

Apparently, that's a game changer.

[Tom]

You can in. What was it again? Jeffrey Toobin Park. What's the guy's name?

[Chick]

Denny Blaine.

[Tom]

Oh, okay. Wildly masturbating sitting on a wall. Now I know how Humpty Dumpty fell off. I always wondered what got him.

[Josh]

So the king's men could have put him together. They just didn't want to touch him.

[Tom]

Who's got gloves?

[Josh]

I've always liked Humpty Dumpty because they say all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put humpty back to at one point. They didn't know. They. They so didn't know what to do.

[Christy]

They went out of ideas.

[Josh]

And you think the horses could do. Yeah, the horses have no idea. What are you talking about?

[Tom]

We need a few more syllables. Anybody got an idea?

[Josh]

No, Brian, I don't think the horses.

[Christy]

Let's give the horses a shot at see what they can do.

[Josh]

Hey, I'm just throwing out ideas.

[Tom]

Who would be in favor of this?

[Chick]

Friends of Denny Blaine?

[Josh]

Are you a friend of Denny Blaine? I wonder if public masturbators say that to each other in that area.

[Christy]

I wanna. The question is, who the hell is Denny Blaine?

[Chick]

Great question.

[Tom]

Poor guy. Rest in peace, Danny.

[Christy]

Wasn't he in Wings?

[Tom]

Oh, close. Danny Lane.

[Christy]

I know. That's why I said it. Tom.

[Tom]

I was trying to congratulate you. Oh, close. Witty aside.

[Christy]

You said something useful.

[Tom]

Maybe he started a restaurant.

[Josh]

What restaurant would that be? Oh, I'm sorry, Danny.

[Christy]

What. What was. What was Your attempted humor.

[Josh]

I thought it was going to be like whackers.

[Tom]

I was. I was underscoring.

[Christy]

You mean Denny's restaurant?

[Tom]

No. All right. Right. I can see we've. The honeymoon is over. Time to move on.

[Christy]

I'm insulted that you didn't know that I knew Denny Lane was in Wings.

[Josh]

Oh, very good.

[Tom]

Are you? Of course you knew that. I was just explaining. I was explaining to the peanut gallery.

[Christy]

This could be the straw right here.

[Tom]

We knew. We knew it was coming.

[Christy]

You didn't know that I knew Danny Lane was in Wings.

[Tom]

Go ahead.

[Christy]

I did, did I?

[Josh]

This is the show with Stephen Weber and Thomas Hayden.

[Tom]

Church.

[Josh]

Wings, Raycon.

[Christy]

Everyday earbuds. No, Josh. Paul McCartney's band. Wings.

[Josh]

Linda McCartney's band. Please. First hit Go. Now, when he was in the Moody Blues, what did he lean?

[Christy]

I don't. I don't like going out. I like riding my seesaw. I like that.

[Tom]

That is good.

[Christy]

Raycon's everyday earbuds are perfect for listening, gift giving. Ergo, perfect for listening. Thank you, Josh. And they're also perfect for mom for Mother's day. And Raycon had. The latest model is better than ever with the 32 hour battery life, multi point connectivity, let you pair with two devices at once. And mom will never ask you help with Bluetooth again because Raycons sync themselves. Oh, it do. Raycon has a quick charge function, 10 minutes of charging, 90 minutes of battery. And also active noise cancellation, something you don't find at this price point. And they come in all the swell colors. And raycons offers a 30 day happiness guarantee return policy. So go to buyraycon.com Tom get 20% off site wide. That's right now at Raycon. 20% off site wide. Just go to buyraycon.Com Tom, make a perfect Mother's Day gift. That's buyraycon.com.

[Tom]

Thank you very much. I'm reading more about the Denny Blaine Park. Yeah, the group that's opposed to the opposition, if you will, that is in favor of keeping the nudity at the park. They want to educate people on how to respond to inappropriate behavior. So there they have recommendations. It's called bystander intervention training. Step one, put on safety goggles. When we come back, Christy, what's happen?

[Chick]

I don't know what's happening. We got a guy hiding under a hotel room bed. We have a kangaroo on the loose. We have. What else do we have today? Oh, we have a rising shark attacks due to selfies. We'll talk about that.

[Tom]

And we have a letter written on the Titanic.

[Chick]

Yes, we do.

[Josh]

Oh, my God.

[Tom]

Survived.

[Josh]

Hey. Having a great trip.

[Tom]

Whoop.

[Josh]

Just felt a weird bang. Oh, well, anyway, see you soon.

[Tom]

I'm gonna put this in a bottle just in case it gets wet. Okay, thank you.

[Christy]

I can't wait to meet the new baby.

[Tom]

We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show, sponsored in part by Java House, the official coffee and refreshments of the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christy]

Welcome back to the mom and Tom show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Thank O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee. Hey, there's Pat Godwin.

[Josh]

Hello, Chick.

[Christy]

We got a song coming up from Pat, I understand.

[Tom]

Is that right?

[Christy]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh]

I am here.

[Christy]

Jeff Oskay is also here. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.

[Tom]

You missed it, Chick.

[Christy]

Okay.

[Tom]

During the break, I know you had to go do some stuff.

[Chick]

Oh, man, I learned a lot more than.

[Tom]

We have to get a. We're gonna have to get some kind of a podcast with Mr. Osu.

[Josh]

Oh, he's got fascinating. He has the best stories.

[Chick]

He does.

[Tom]

You have travel with Jeff. He has friends that lock people in closets, cut each other up.

[Chick]

It's just this is all consensual, by the way. It's not that he has a friend that.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Chick]

Just puts people in a closet and.

[Josh]

Locks and starts cutting them off.

[Chick]

Yeah, I came out wrong.

[Christy]

You know, that's an interesting. Interesting.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Christy]

Jason Voorhees, these. Michael Myers. They had friends. Don't you think they.

[Chick]

You think.

[Christy]

Hey, Mike, what do you. What are you doing Saturday night?

[Chick]

I don't think Mike Myers had friends.

[Christy]

Are you stalking again? Is that what you're doing, buddy?

[Tom]

Come on, man.

[Christy]

Come on.

[Tom]

If you have a guy that isn't into construction stuff and he's buying a lot of Visqueen, you say to yourself, huh? What's going on there?

[Josh]

I think you have a right to go.

[Christy]

What do you do with all this quicklime?

[Tom]

Yeah, I wouldn't.

[Josh]

Because I wouldn't want him to go. Let me show you. Yeah, now that you've brought it up, I have to kill you.

[Chick]

Have they done a movie where all these guys are in one movie, like, together? Like buddies that go.

[Christy]

Oh, you're not asking. Right? Is there a movie out there with them in the same universe?

[Chick]

Oh, okay.

[Josh]

Freddy versus Jason was a thing. Yes.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Chick]

But they're fighting each other. They're not buddies.

[Tom]

Is there, like, a Justice League of murderers?

[Josh]

I don't mean to correct you. Freddy actually sends Jason back to Earth. They're both in hell, you see? And to start frightening the children of Springwood or Springboro. Springwood. And because the kids, fear brings Freddy back, and so he needs Jason to get them scared. The problem arises when Jason doesn't want to stop killing.

[Tom]

So now were you.

[Christy]

So then Freddie has to save kids.

[Josh]

So then Freddie has to go, jason, I am coming back to kill the kids, not you. And so then they fight. So.

[Tom]

So it was a really rainy day. Obviously, there was nothing else on earth to do but watch that movie.

[Josh]

You don't understand. I. The anticipation I had for Freddy versus Jason was. I mean, it was a.

[Tom]

Can you.

[Christy]

Can you remember where you were when you heard the first rumor of that that movie might happen?

[Josh]

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It was at the end of Jason Goes to Hell, the final Friday. I was in the theater, and this is a spoiler alert. Jason is dead, and his mask is sitting there in the dirt. And the camera slowly closes in and closes in. And then finally, Freddy's glove comes out and grabs the mask and pulls it under, and we went, what the hell?

[Tom]

How? Now, when you say we, did you actually have a woman with you?

[Josh]

No. Oh, yes. Yeah. It was my buddy Nick and his older sister. Sister. Yeah.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Josh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom]

It wasn't like a date.

[Josh]

No, no, no.

[Tom]

Nothing. Turns on the ladies.

[Josh]

Like, I masturbated to her a lot.

[Chick]

There are a lot of women who like horror films. You'd Be surprised.

[Josh]

So many.

[Chick]

Yes, yes.

[Tom]

Good.

[Josh]

Your daughter loves the shark movies.

[Christy]

The Meg movies.

[Tom]

Oh, yeah, that's true.

[Christy]

You think the Meg is educating kids in that movie? Or do you think he Meg's trying to eat ships or something that really.

[Josh]

Eat ships and die?

[Christy]

Yeah. Ever hear that term, Tom? Eat ships and die?

[Tom]

You see the porno version of the Meg The Smeg. That is just.

[Josh]

That is gross.

[Tom]

Oh, it is disgusting. Time now to learn a little something.

[Chick]

Nice toaster, though.

[Tom]

Time to learn about history. We have some important.

[Christy]

Learn about history. A little something for you. We're saying goodbye to April.

[Josh]

Bye, April.

[Christy]

Cruelest month. Am I right on that? I think I'm right on that, yeah.

[Chick]

Why is it the cruelest?

[Christy]

That's what they say.

[Tom]

Cruelest. Cruel.

[Josh]

Who's your favorite April?

[Christy]

April Dancer, the girl from U.N.C.L.E. oh, no question.

[Josh]

Mine is April O'Neill, the journalist from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

[Christy]

Oh, okay. All right.

[Tom]

George Washington inaugurated, not my president, as the first president of the United States in 1789. It was the inaugural. Inaugural, if you will. Huh?

[Christy]

Well, this guy. This is amazing. This is really going to catch on, this democracy thing.

[Tom]

How many. What is it, 15 states back then? Is that right? Like that? I mean, can you imagine if he could see it now? 50 states, soon to have Canada. He'd be so impressed. Yeah. Let's see, where were we? 1803, the Louisiana Purchase. Anybody remember the price?

[Chick]

Six million.

[Christy]

I wanna. I wanna say. 3,000. No, dollars.

[Tom]

It was $15 million.

[Chick]

With so many six.

[Tom]

That's a. That is a bargain.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Christy]

Well. Yeah.

[Tom]

And I guess for they. They let you know they bought it, such as it is, from France, who claimed that it fell off the back of a truck, ergo, the good deal. We have this in 1897. Anybody know who J.J. thompson is?

[Chick]

No. Who's J.J. thompson?

[Tom]

He discovered the Electron.

[Josh]

Oh.

[Tom]

Incredibly good vision.

[Josh]

And then he and his brother started an 80s band.

[Chick]

They were twins.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Oh, yeah hold me now oh, my.

[Tom]

Heart My coat and tired heart Stay with me oh, won't you stay with. We're talking about the famous J.J. thompson.

[Christy]

There he is.

[Tom]

My name is Raymond J. Johnson, Jr.

[Christy]

You can call me Ray Listen to the people, they love it.

[Tom]

Or you can call me Johnny or you can call me Sunny or you can call me Juny or you can call me Ray J. Or you can call me Audrey RJ or you can call the RJJ or you can call me RJJ Jr. There we go. Oh, that is not stated, JJ let's see, what else do we have on this date? Oh, that's rough. Oh, Here we go. 1952, Mr. Potato Head first advertised on television.

[Chick]

Oh, with the.

[Josh]

Those were just the real potatoes. Yes.

[Tom]

You had to have a real potato. Potato. They didn't have the plastic potato.

[Josh]

Yeah, makes sense.

[Tom]

What do you mean?

[Chick]

Well, you can take the. If you buy the plastic potato head, you can take the accessories and put them on a real potato.

[Josh]

There was a time in Ireland when Mr. Potato Head was called. What are we supposed to do with these? It was a famine, you see. Many of your people starved.

[Tom]

There was a lot of fish in the sea, but we were too lazy to fish. A lot of comedy there. Oh, God. Okay, we're. Happy birthday.

[Christy]

Ooh.

[Tom]

1926. Wonderful actress, Cloris Leachman.

[Chick]

She is wonderful.

[Tom]

Young Frankenstein, My boyfriend. Yeah. Frau Bluer.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Also in the Last Picture Show.

[Josh]

Yes.

[Tom]

But is the name Chlorus, Is that still out there?

[Josh]

Don't hear it much at all. I mean, it really is an old lady's name.

[Christy]

Well, in her brother Claus, the cough suppressant people.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Christy]

Lavoris. Floris Lavoris. That was Cloris's. Her maiden name.

[Tom]

Happy birthday. 1961, Isaiah Thomas.

[Chick]

Oh, basketball.

[Tom]

Not on the Dream Team, Right?

[Christy]

Yeah. There's a reason for that.

[Tom]

Yeah. Jordan Hate him.

[Christy]

Yeah. Look around.

[Tom]

Oh, great.

[Christy]

Ask around.

[Tom]

A great actor. Johnny Galecki, Big Bang Theory.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Terrific actor so far. Oh, and this, listen. 1981, 1. Kunel Nayar from the Big Bang Theory also. Oh, wonderful. He's also very good. Got a good book out there.

[Christy]

I don't know if I can live in a world where the Big Bang Theory is going to be running non stop.

[Tom]

Oh, it's great.

[Christy]

I don't think I'll have to worry about it much longer.

[Tom]

1982, Kirsten Dunst, of course, famous for.

[Christy]

Her hat, married Mrs. Jesse Plemons.

[Josh]

What hat?

[Tom]

The Dunst Gap. I'm glad I asked.

[Christy]

Her father was a. The headmaster of a boy for a school for boys and he came up with the dunce.

[Josh]

I can't imagine any schools doing the dunce cap anymore.

[Tom]

Oh, you know something? I'll bet there is.

[Josh]

Oh, there can't be.

[Tom]

There has to be somewhere.

[Christy]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Josh]

Did you ever encounter a dunce private school?

[Tom]

No, I never saw one. Yeah, but there was punishments equally humiliating and terrible.

[Josh]

Even the word dunce, you don't hear it a lot, which is so funny. Yeah. Boy, what a dunce. I'm bringing it back.

[Tom]

It is a good word.

[Josh]

Yes.

[Tom]

What is the go to word? Now.

[Josh]

Well, idiot.

[Tom]

You can say idiots.

[Chick]

Dummy.

[Tom]

They're all really offensive to some group out there.

[Josh]

Big dummy.

[Tom]

And you know a lot. There are a lot of idiots. I think we can all agree on that.

[Josh]

Oh, plenty.

[Tom]

Yeah, yeah, I heard of idiots. What is the word for a bunch of idiots? Do we know this show?

[Josh]

I like the idea. I like mess. A mess of idiots.

[Tom]

Idiots. Okay.

[Christy]

One of the Fish fans gonna hear that. They're. You're. You just made a poster.

[Tom]

Christy Lee hates fish.

[Josh]

She said this show.

[Chick]

I said this show.

[Christy]

I thought you said fish fans.

[Tom]

Oh, what if she did? Just try to start Problems.

[Chick]

Yeah, I'm a fight starter.

[Tom]

All right. Thank you very much. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Get a look at today's show on our YouTube channel.

[Josh]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. There's Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance Company news desk. Pat Godwin's next to her with his Argan and his guitar ready to go. Yes. Jessica Alsman has joined us.

[Chick]

Hi, Josh.

[Josh]

Chick McGee has left the building. He's picking us up some blintzes. It's blintz Wednesday here at the show, so. Thank you, Chick. We'll see him later. We appreciate it. I like rain raspberry Jeff Osu's there.

[Tom]

I. I like a bar room. Blends. Those are good. There has to be a place.

[Josh]

Not the ballroom.

[Tom]

Better than a pickled egg. No, no. You a ballroom blitz. Who wants to.

[Josh]

That's too fancy.

[Tom]

Who wants to wear fancy clothes and eat a blitz? There must be one somewhere.

[Chick]

I don't think I've ever had a blintz.

[Josh]

Yeah, they're pretty good.

[Chick]

They like crepes.

[Josh]

Kinda. Yeah, they're delicious but rolled up more.

[Chick]

I don't think I've ever had a balloon because.

[Josh]

What? Crepes are kind of folded and blintzes are rolled.

[Chick]

Yes.

[Tom]

Now we. We'll get to the information part of our program coming up. I will mention this. We do have Ali Breen standing by in just a few minutes with sexy Time. So we'll find out what's going on. Try to help people with their romance. And right now we have another one of these great stories. Except about. About something that's escaped. We've had some really good animal escape stories lately. There was the one last week with the so called Z Donk. And we learned interestingly enough, a Z Donk, obviously. Half zebra. Zebra, half donkey. But there is also something called a Zonkey. And it. It's. There's a distinction.

[Chick]

What? Mom and dad are different.

[Josh]

Yes. Yeah.

[Tom]

In other words, with one of them, the dad is the zebra. With the other, the mom is a zebra. And that has a different outcome, too.

[Chick]

Yes.

[Tom]

Interesting.

[Chick]

They look different.

[Tom]

And as far as I know, none of them are then fertile. Right. A Z. Donk can't hook up with another Z. Donk.

[Chick]

Right. I believe you're correct.

[Tom]

Z. Donk Jr.

[Josh]

Nature steps in and went, this shouldn't have happened.

[Tom]

Right.

[Josh]

And we're not gonna let this happen.

[Tom]

What the hell are you doing?

[Chick]

We don't need a lot of donkeys out there.

[Tom]

But this. I just love the name Z Donk. It. Like I said, it reminds me of some guy's frat nickname.

[Chick]

Right.

[Tom]

A Z. Donk's got the keg, dude. See, Donk, you are an animal.

[Josh]

It's a great nickname.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Chick]

This is a runaway kangaroo.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Chick]

Named, of course, Sheila shut down a stretch of Interstate 85 in Alabama.

[Tom]

Isn't that a little lame?

[Chick]

Yes, it's very lame. Very expected.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Chick]

The Alabama Law Enforcement Agency said the escaped kangaroo was spotted hopping along the road in Macon County. Authorities shut down both sides of the interstate while troopers worked with the kangaroo's owners to capture the animal. The owner, by the way, Patrick Starr, told the.

[Tom]

Come on.

[Josh]

Oh.

[Chick]

From Spongebob. With two. With two Rs, told the Associated Press that Sheila is now back home safe. The Macon County Sheriff, Andre Brunson, confirmed the unusual scene in a Facebook Live video. Joking, quote, we see a little bit of everything here.

[Josh]

Brunson.

[Chick]

I didn't know you could have a kangaroo as a pet.

[Josh]

Yeah, I wouldn't have thought that would have been legal either.

[Tom]

I mean, how many isn't half the state? You can have a tiger. Yeah.

[Josh]

Yeah. That needs to end now.

[Chick]

Yes, it does.

[Tom]

Pat, do you have a.

[Josh]

It begs the question, who let the rule out?

[Tom]

Who let the rule out?

[Josh]

I said, who let the rule out? On who let the rule out? I saw a kangaroo on the highway Go, kangaroo, go where skies are so blue Go, kangaroo, go I'm talking Sweet home Alabami Go, kangaroo Far away from home was a kangaroo I say, who let the rule out?

[Tom]

Let the roo out.

[Josh]

Who let the rule out?

[Tom]

Let the rule.

[Josh]

What?

[Tom]

I'm asking who his kangaroo brother Joey. These people, Sheila and Joey, Totally unoriginal.

[Josh]

I didn't know you were a Baja man.

[Tom]

I love that song.

[Josh]

Well, I heard that in the show every single day.

[Chick]

You Love that song.

[Tom]

I love that song.

[Chick]

Oh, my.

[Tom]

It's a very good. That. 200 years from now, they'll be playing that song. It's. It's. It's Along Papa Umau Ma. It's just. It's a novelty song. It's great.

[Chick]

It's uplifting.

[Tom]

It's fun.

[Chick]

It's ridiculous.

[Tom]

Of Corey. But that's great. It's.

[Christy]

It's.

[Tom]

It's rock and roll. It's fun.

[Chick]

That is not rock and roll.

[Josh]

It's got a hidden.

[Chick]

Let the dogs out.

[Tom]

Yeah. It's not Stairway to Heaven. It actually has meaning.

[Josh]

No, no, no, no, no. You can say you like the song, and that's totally fine. Let's not go overboard.

[Chick]

Compared to Led Zeppelin.

[Tom]

I find it. It gives me more pleasure. I'd rather hear that than Bohemian Rhapsody.

[Josh]

Is it about dogs or is it about. It's about ugly women. No, no. It's about dudes being out, being dogs. And the nightclubs. Okay. It's not about dudes going into a nightclub and going, man, every chick here is hideous.

[Tom]

I hope it's not that. As you know, Josh, I would think. I would think with your faux literary aspirations, you would see that one can read one what one wants to into any lyrics.

[Josh]

Sure. So it's open to interpretation.

[Tom]

Yes.

[Chick]

Very deep song.

[Tom]

Wow.

[Josh]

Okay. Who knew it was so layer.

[Tom]

That'd be. Maybe we could have, like, a serious version of that done by, you know.

[Chick]

Some kind of, like a poetic reading talk.

[Tom]

Whispering.

[Josh]

Yeah, that'd be a William Shatner job for shat.

[Tom]

Oh, like a Rod. Rod McEwen.

[Josh]

Christy and Alsman. What's the male equivalent of a boy? Women. They get.

[Chick]

They can be called so many horrible things.

[Tom]

Animal.

[Josh]

Yeah. Cows or dogs.

[Chick]

Guys are cads.

[Tom]

So what is there an animal for an unattractive man? What would. Would you.

[Josh]

Oh, boy.

[Tom]

That guy's a dog.

[Chick]

You can say dog.

[Josh]

I hear dog a lot.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Oh, really? For guys, too. Okay.

[Tom]

All right.

[Josh]

I get called the that a lot.

[Chick]

Really?

[Josh]

Yeah, but it's kind of playful. Oh, you dog, you. Thank you.

[Tom]

There isn't a standard.

[Chick]

No, I don't think there is.

[Tom]

It's kind of messed up.

[Josh]

It is messed up.

[Chick]

Ugly.

[Josh]

Now, there are positive animal. You can be a fox or a.

[Tom]

A puppy.

[Josh]

A bird back in the day.

[Tom]

Wait a minute. Wait. A puppy.

[Chick]

They're so cute.

[Josh]

Yeah, but nobody says, oh, look at that.

[Chick]

He's, like, dressed all.

[Tom]

I don't know, Maybe preppy little puppy.

[Josh]

No, I know.

[Tom]

No.

[Josh]

Huh?

[Tom]

A fox. Guy could be a fox. I mean, if you. You're going to a junior prom, maybe.

[Josh]

Of age, they call it puppy love.

[Tom]

Yeah, it's the.

[Josh]

When you see an ugly guy, you just go, oh, he's. That's an ugly guy.

[Chick]

Yeah, I just shiver.

[Tom]

He's an uggo. Now, what is it? What is a group of ugly women? We were going through these. These group names. What is a group of ugly women.

[Josh]

Called a View Rights Cheerleaders.

[Tom]

Thank you. Thank you so much. Oh, Cha Ching. I was trying to think of what you call a group of idiots, and.

[Josh]

Then I remembered that could also.

[Tom]

A congress of idiots. Sorry, Christy. We can squeeze in one more thing before we get to sexy time.

[Chick]

New research shows that selfie seekers are fueling a rise in shark attacks.

[Tom]

Idiots.

[Chick]

Professor.

[Tom]

A congress of morons.

[Chick]

Professor Eric Clua of PSL University. Clue said a growing number of attacks can be blamed on social media influencers encouraging tourists to try to stroke sharks, which can lead the animals to act out in self defense.

[Josh]

I'm not worried about these people at all. Go for it. I say. Here.

[Tom]

Here's a cool picture of me. This is 30 seconds before he bit my arm off.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Some really famous guy last year did a thing where he was petting a great white.

[Josh]

Geez.

[Tom]

I. It was some idiot. It. But yeah, don't. Don't do that. And didn't we have a story just a couple months ago about someone who lost both their hands?

[Chick]

Yes, yes, we did.

[Josh]

And it was in this same way.

[Chick]

Yeah, she was batting a shark.

[Josh]

She wanted a selfie.

[Chick]

You're not supposed to pet them.

[Josh]

No, you're really not.

[Chick]

They have petting tanks at some zoos, right?

[Josh]

I mean, if that's. If it's encouraged there, that's fine.

[Chick]

But two fingers, and you got to be very man.

[Tom]

Okay, Right now, I want to tell you about Simplisafe. It's a great name because if you've ever used the Simplisafe system, it is really easy to use. It's also easy to install. So easy, in fact, when we first heard about it before they were even talking about it on the radio, Chick came in and mentioned that he'd installed this really cool thing over the weekend called simply safe. And again, operating it is easy. So many security systems are so complicated. You have to have a PhD in electronic engineering to know what the hell's going on. Simplisafe. Easy to operate and very, very handy. Interestingly enough, FBI crime data shows that daylight hours is. That's like the optimum time when crime is happening, breaking into homes, et cetera, et cetera. So be proactive with Simplisafe's new security systems. We trust Simplisafe here at the Bob and Tom studios. We have it installed right there and over there so we can see what's going on. Simply Safe also has a special thing going on called active guard outdoor protection that can stop a would be break in person. What are they called? Burglar. Thank you very much. Before the said event happens. Am I making this less than clear? I'm sorry. AI powered cameras backed by live professional monitoring agents. Someone's lurking around, they're going to see him and they can contact the police and even tell them, hey, get out Simplisafe. No long term contracts necessary. No cancellation fees. Monitoring plans start affordably at about a buck a day with a 60 day satisfaction guarantee or your money back at the details by going to simplisafetom.com that's simplisafetom.com to claim a staggering 50% off a new system with the professional monitoring plan. By the way, you can also get your first month free today. So check it out. SimplySafetom.com there's no safe life. Simply safe. We're coming right back with Sexy Time and Ali Breen. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom Show. There's Christy Lee.

[Chick]

Hi.

[Josh]

Pat Godwin's here. Hello. Jessica Alsman has joined us because we have Sexy Time with Ali Breen coming right up. Yep, Oscar's in here. I am Josh Arnold and I'm in here speaking into this clearly. And there's, there's.

[Tom]

It'd be weird if you weren't in here.

[Josh]

It would be right.

[Tom]

Josh Arnold's voice. We've managed to isolate it using AI so we don't have to put up with him.

[Josh]

Hey, if I'm getting a check, that's okay.

[Tom]

Josh is fishing somewhere. I know we're actually here in the flesh. And speaking of flesh.

[Josh]

Oh, flesh. All the mess.

[Tom]

There she goes. She's the librarian. The hottest librarian in town. It's Ally Breen.

[Chick]

Nice.

[Tom]

Looking good.

[Chick]

You look very nice today. Yeah.

[Ali Breen]

Going full librarian. Exactly. I'm getting really used to these. Glad they really. I think they're making my eyesight worse though. Now I feel like I need them more than I did a week ago.

[Josh]

So.

[Tom]

And are those. Are those progressive lenses?

[Ali Breen]

Yes, that's exactly what much like American.

[Josh]

Media, they see everything. They see everything through a progressive lens. I Got them, too. I love them.

[Ali Breen]

They're great.

[Tom]

What does that mean?

[Josh]

So they're essentially bifocals without the line. Right. They just. They progress.

[Chick]

Lots of times they're trifocals. They're for distance.

[Josh]

Yeah, you're exactly right.

[Chick]

And then close up.

[Josh]

So I every. If I can just look down and it's clear as day and I can look up and see far and it's clear as day.

[Ali Breen]

Yep, same. That's exactly what I have.

[Tom]

Well, they're very sexy. We should. They're. They're kind of like gigantic black.

[Ali Breen]

They are huge. Yeah.

[Tom]

Again, it's like the classic 60s movie with Jack Lemmon where the librarian comes out, takes off her glasses, shakes her head and. And turns into Jane Mansfield.

[Christy]

Oh.

[Tom]

Oh, my breasts need to be held. What?

[Ali Breen]

I don't know if that's the right dialogue, but I don't think that's the script.

[Tom]

The Dewey Decimal System turns me on, you stud.

[Josh]

Is it James Manfield in that famous photo where Sophia Loren is.

[Tom]

Yes. Yeah.

[Josh]

She's just staring down. They're about to fall out. That's one of the greatest photos of all time.

[Tom]

It's brilliant. Oh, yes.

[Ali Breen]

Well, I think that she is the mom of Olivia. Yeah, let's say that I was like, that's so cool.

[Tom]

Now it's time to begin the program we call Sexy Time here on the Bob and Tom Show. And the way it works is they send emails to Ally. You'll find Ali Breen A L L I B R E E N in the world of comedy and on the Internet in a variety of social media platforms. What have we got, Ally?

[Ali Breen]

Dear Ally, I had a vasectomy four years ago and I just found Plan B in me and my wife's bathroom. I asked her why she had it and is she cheating on me? And she said, we have a daughter who will be 16 in 11 years and I'm worried about abortion laws. Should I believe her?

[Chick]

11 years.

[Ali Breen]

I know.

[Tom]

I mean, if she's lying, that's really elaborate.

[Chick]

That's a great planning.

[Tom]

I know. And don't those things expire, I would think. I don't know. But I mean.

[Chick]

And that is a great lie.

[Josh]

And normally I say, you guys know me. Normally I say, hey, you asked. Which is great. Trusts what she's to give her the benefit of the doubt. This one is tough to say that.

[Tom]

You wouldn't just keep it in your cabinet.

[Chick]

You would take it.

[Tom]

Right. If you needed it. Where was it again?

[Chick]

Well, yeah, but you have it in case you Need.

[Josh]

It's. But then. Yeah. Yes.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Ali Breen]

Which means she's probably sleeping with somebody. But there hasn't been a. Oops.

[Tom]

That. Or that. Or it's perfectly possible that vasectomy wouldn't take.

[Josh]

No, no, no, no, no. I. I believe that. Not. They're not 100%.

[Tom]

Any child whose name begins with a V was a result of a failed.

[Josh]

That is true. Yes.

[Tom]

That's Victoria's big secret.

[Ali Breen]

If it was for that reason, though, they would have had a conversation. She would have been like, shouldn't we get this just in case. That vasectomy.

[Tom]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Josh]

I mean, this is really thin.

[Chick]

Like a bottle of 30 or.

[Tom]

I thought it was just like a one or two pack.

[Josh]

Yeah, typically you buy one one.

[Tom]

So then if she was going to.

[Ali Breen]

Use it, she would have already found a plan B in me and my wife's back.

[Tom]

Right, Right.

[Ali Breen]

Yeah. So I think it's just the one, but. Which also doesn't check out because if it was for the future, you would probably get more than one.

[Tom]

Maybe.

[Ali Breen]

I don't know.

[Tom]

Do they have a plan C and a plan D?

[Josh]

Plan C is leave town.

[Chick]

Plan D. You're a dad.

[Tom]

Very good. Let's move on. Ali.

[Josh]

That's rough, man.

[Tom]

Once again, you can reach Ali. Also, I should point this out. Ali is on only Fans at A L, L, I B.

[Ali Breen]

Yes.

[Tom]

Okay. There you go.

[Ali Breen]

Dear Ally, I've gone on three dates with this girl, and every time we go to dinner, she orders the most expensive thing on the menu and then takes maybe four bites of it and she's done.

[Tom]

She.

[Ali Breen]

She also will order a drink before she's finished with the last one, and if it comes before she's finished with that, she'll just trade it up. How do I deal with this without sounding cheap? I actually like her, but this is gonna drive me crazy.

[Josh]

I. Oh, boy. This is a. I would need to know if she is taking a doggy bag.

[Ali Breen]

Yeah, it doesn't sound like it because it probably wouldn't. Oh, no, you're right. Because still, just the cost might anger him.

[Tom]

Yeah, but you don't want to necessarily take one. What if you're planning on going to a movie.

[Josh]

No, I get that. I hope you're roast beef, but women will not eat.

[Chick]

They don't like to eat in front of.

[Josh]

Most women do not eat until they're full on a date is what I'm saying.

[Ali Breen]

Right.

[Josh]

They will. Yeah.

[Ali Breen]

She might pack it up.

[Josh]

If she packs it up and takes it. That. That's not that big. Of a deal.

[Tom]

But why couldn't she just order something light? Then instead of getting something really expensive? The drink thing. That's kind of weird. Is she testing you?

[Josh]

Oh, maybe.

[Tom]

What do you mean?

[Josh]

Straight up?

[Tom]

The drink.

[Josh]

I don't get that.

[Chick]

Like, every time you're left, you still just drink another cocktail instead of finishing it. You just take the. The new one and give the old one.

[Josh]

You thinking, yeah, that's so funny, Gavin. I'm worried about the doggy bag. You're worried about the drinks.

[Tom]

That's in the alcoholic. This is.

[Josh]

That's in the alcoholic.

[Tom]

This is a new show called on the Nose with your hosts.

[Ali Breen]

I have a friend who does that with drinks all the time because she'll order martinis that'll get warm, but it's only if the guy's paying it. Like, so halfway through, she'll be done and order another martini.

[Tom]

Oh, I hope she gets married. That'll save some other guy from ruining his life.

[Ali Breen]

It's so frustrating to watch. I'm just like, oh, God.

[Chick]

So this guy needs to stop going to expensive restaurants. There you go. That's a one way to go.

[Ali Breen]

Oh, that's a good. Yeah, go to Taco Bell.

[Chick]

Yeah, and if she keeps it, then.

[Tom]

We always leave out the one factor. How hot is this? Yeah.

[Josh]

Get away with a lot. There is a chance she does not know that she's being waste, you know?

[Tom]

No, no, this is a display.

[Chick]

She's done this before.

[Josh]

You guys are crazy. You're so cynical when it comes to people.

[Tom]

Have you ever met any people? They're terrible.

[Josh]

Yes. No, they're not.

[Tom]

Especially on dates. I don't know. I don't know where you've been, Mr. Single. Okay, well, let's move on.

[Ali Breen]

He should start taking her food as a doggy bag.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Ali Breen]

Wait, I'll wrap. Yeah, I'll eat that later on.

[Tom]

Yeah, maybe. Maybe he should do it. My mom. We don't always do just order nothing and then eat what I ordered and didn't like, and then I'd order something else. When I was a little boy, I was famous for that.

[Chick]

Really?

[Tom]

Yeah. Between my mom and dad, that order, my top three choices. I was very picky.

[Ali Breen]

Peter, you had very giving parents. My parents would never allow.

[Josh]

We've tried to tell them that.

[Tom]

Yes, yes, that did not happen at my house. Ergo, the sunny disposition and the multitude of successes in my life. My parents were tremendous, though. I did have wonderful parents. But I was a. I was one of those kids that if the corn touched the meatloaf it was over. Now I could lot. Yeah. Just a thing. I feel that way now about certain. Certain aspects of culture and society. But let's not get into that.

[Chick]

But not with your food.

[Josh]

Honey. We need to leave. The corn is touching the meat.

[Christy]

You know what I mean?

[Josh]

This place has gone to the dogs.

[Tom]

I can't believe they put that on and said I look great. Ally Breen is our guest. Ally is a fine standup comedian and she is also on Only Fans. Are you doing the librarian bit on Only Fans Fans now with the.

[Ali Breen]

I keep saying I'm going to and I keep not doing it. So I definitely. I have to. This is the week. Maybe today I'll do that actually.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Just do it. What do you hate?

[Tom]

I see. What have we got? Ally?

[Ali Breen]

Dear Allie, I'm moving in with my girlfriend and she has two cats and I have two dogs. They do not get along and it's causing some tension. I think we should wait it out and see how they do. She says it's her place. So I'm probably going to be after one. The one to figure it out. If they stop getting along and give the dogs to a relative or something. Shouldn't this still be a compromise? It's really causing friction.

[Tom]

I don't. You'd have to talk to a dog person. I think wouldn't. Typically they eventually get along. Yeah. They totally will. You just have to wait.

[Chick]

It's going to be rough.

[Tom]

Yeah. I think. I don't know. You'd have to talk to a real expert on the thing. I strictly have dogs. And the compromise would be you'd have to get rid of one cat and one dog.

[Chick]

Yeah. That would be the compromise.

[Josh]

It kind of would be.

[Tom]

Don't go giving away your animals.

[Josh]

I agree with Tom.

[Tom]

But do you have cats? I have one cat. And do you have any dogs? No dogs. No wonder he hasn't asked you to marry him.

[Chick]

I'm allergic to both.

[Tom]

That was as crazy.

[Chick]

Did you see her face? Meanest things you've ever said.

[Tom]

She jokes about it all the time.

[Chick]

Someone like loves me.

[Josh]

She doesn't know about it. She talks about it.

[Tom]

That's why you want. That's why you want to get a dog. He'll love you.

[Ali Breen]

Get into real psychology.

[Tom]

If. If you're just joining us. Welcome to a room full of hate. All mine. I'm sorry. Everyone hating in me right now. This is the Baba Time show coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. We are visiting with comedian Ali Breen in the show we call Sexy Time. Joining us in the studio, it's the lovely Jessica Hall Holzman. Hi. And she has a cat.

[Chick]

I have a cat.

[Tom]

Her name's Riri. Okay, what's his name? Her name is Riri. It's short for Renesmee because she is Team Jacob from Twilight. That's how old she is.

[Josh]

She's 12.

[Tom]

I know. I'm not aware of the Twilight Zone. Whatever. That's.

[Chick]

No, the Twilight.

[Josh]

I don't think it's the lack of dog. Yeah, yeah. A love of Twilight.

[Ali Breen]

But 50 year old cat.

[Tom]

Okay, now we'll get back to our letters with Ally. What have you got?

[Ali Breen]

Dear Ally, I'm Remar. I just got remarried. And my husband's best man at the wedding gave a speech where he made so many jokes. He basically started out by saying to everyone, welcome back. And then he went on joking the whole time about how this was a second marriage and how we'd see each other again in 10 years, blah, blah, blah, blah. Everyone really thought it was funny. I was so offended. And it's really created a bad start to our marriage. I don't know how to fix this. My boyfriend thinks it's. My husband thinks it's fine. It's been two months and I'm still mad at them.

[Chick]

What should I do?

[Tom]

Here's the key to this. Never give a live mic to anyone at a wedding anymore.

[Chick]

Yeah. And let it go. You can't let this.

[Tom]

I have seen more terrible speeches.

[Chick]

Yep.

[Tom]

At weddings. Oh.

[Ali Breen]

Everyone tries to roast well.

[Chick]

And everybody's been drinking because the pictures took so long. And you haven't had any food. So.

[Tom]

You know, I was at a funeral once, and the guy, I'm not kidding, started talking about having a hooker locked in the trunk of a car with the deceased. I mean, he wasn't dead at the time.

[Josh]

I'm like, listen.

[Tom]

Wait a second.

[Josh]

That's a fine eulogy.

[Tom]

Let me clarify.

[Chick]

That guy's going now. This is great.

[Josh]

Here's what happened, all right? That guy wasn't, unfortunately, was not thinking about you at all. This was about him getting laughs from a room full of people. So you can't take offense to it because you were not, not a target. It was all about him. That's the mistake he made. It really should be about the couple and the bride.

[Tom]

And don't give him the mic.

[Josh]

Well, dad, it's too late.

[Tom]

That's a bad.

[Josh]

I'm trying to help her now. Party.

[Tom]

I mean, she's so. That's a bachelor party move. If you're dumb enough to have a.

[Josh]

I know, but your advice is terrible, because she needs the help now. It's already happened.

[Tom]

Sorry. I've written her off. You move on.

[Chick]

You're the better person and you're cooler for it.

[Tom]

And he's just lame and trying to be funny, and he's not. Yeah, yeah.

[Ali Breen]

I guess it's probably too. Because she's saying the husband thinks it's fine. Maybe she wants him to, like, get angry at the friend or something. Maybe that would help.

[Chick]

That's his best friend. He's not gonna get mad at him.

[Josh]

What, the guy. What, the husband should lie to you? I think.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Yeah, I talked to him. I told him. What? Yeah, I yelled at him.

[Ali Breen]

I told him he was a joke.

[Josh]

You shut up. Yeah.

[Tom]

Humorless. I'm sorry. And Captain Sensitive has spoken. Coming from me, that truly is. Let's get back to the action here. Comedian Allie Breen is here with us, and she has more letters. What have we got?

[Ali Breen]

Dear Allie, I just started spending the night at my boyfriend's apartment, and the other day when he left for work, I stayed by myself. And of course, I went through some of his stuff.

[Josh]

Of course I went through some of his stuff.

[Chick]

Is that what. What she says?

[Josh]

Yes.

[Chick]

Yep.

[Ali Breen]

Of course. She is kind of right with you. Of course. I mean, you know, you don't want to draw. At the very least, I would think. Oh, yeah, there is. He has one drawer full of so many sex toys, I don't even know what some of them are. We've never used any sex toys in our sex life. I'm wondering if he's going to one day bust them out and if so, what I should do. Shouldn't sex toys be like Christy's underwear, where they get replaced after each relationship?

[Josh]

Well, here's the thing. You're. He hasn't used them on you.

[Ali Breen]

Yeah.

[Josh]

So?

[Ali Breen]

But he's kept them, so I guess that's still.

[Josh]

Well, since you don't recognize them, maybe they're not for a woman.

[Chick]

Well, maybe they're new, too. Maybe he bought them for you and you don't know.

[Tom]

Well, no, they'd be in the box and they haven't been in the other one.

[Josh]

That's not necessarily true.

[Chick]

That is not necessarily true.

[Josh]

And he really should have hid those. If you buy them in a sex store, they're not in the box because they have to put the batteries in there and show you that they can function because they have a no return policy.

[Tom]

Yes, but guys aren't thinking. He's going to keep them no matter what. Probably not even realizing.

[Josh]

Exactly.

[Tom]

But we're also missing the larger point here, which is that she was immediately compelled to open up a drawer.

[Josh]

Yeah, but according to Ali, all women are, oh, 100%.

[Ali Breen]

Well, she could just, say, open a medicine cabinet.

[Tom]

These were in, like, a nightstand or a bed bureau, and she could. Yeah. I was looking for a can opener, and I found your dildo collection.

[Chick]

I feel like it's a fair game if it's just opening a drawer, maybe.

[Tom]

And glancing in like. Well, we got.

[Josh]

You would find that to be fair game.

[Tom]

You folded your shirts.

[Christy]

That's lovely.

[Chick]

Versus a wadded white. We never looked at a girl's apartments in her drawer.

[Josh]

No, of course not. No. No.

[Ali Breen]

Medicine cabinet.

[Josh]

I've never done it at a friend's house. I've never done it at a family member's house.

[Chick]

Never looked in a medicine cabinet.

[Josh]

No.

[Chick]

Never pulled the shower curtain back.

[Christy]

Back.

[Chick]

To see.

[Tom]

Yes.

[Josh]

Yes.

[Tom]

It says a lot. Christy nailed it.

[Josh]

No, I don't care about any of that.

[Ali Breen]

To see if there's clumps of hair on the wall.

[Chick]

Yes. Yes.

[Tom]

I don't want.

[Josh]

If there.

[Tom]

If there are, I don't want to know. Then I'd have to leave right away. You ever try to pick a lock on the safe?

[Chick]

Boy bats taking a long time in the bathroom.

[Ali Breen]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Yeah. Well, I guess this guy obviously isn't a virgin. She was probably aware of that, that he'd had some experience.

[Josh]

Tom's right. She has a.

[Tom]

What did she think, she's dating a guy that just quit the priesthood because she's so hot? Well.

[Chick]

And she said she just thought she just spent the night at his house. So they just started. You don't break those out in the first couple of dates.

[Josh]

The bad part's gonna be when she goes, hey, by the way, I opened up that drawer and I saw what you have. And he goes, oh, no, you opened up my. My dead cat draw. He's going to tell on himself accidentally about the way. Crazier thing.

[Christy]

That would be amazing.

[Ali Breen]

You found my human skull.

[Josh]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom]

I thought you meant those were cat toys.

[Josh]

Oh, no. Turns out he's a true.

[Tom]

I see.

[Ali Breen]

Well, I guess that's the other part, too, is that I bet that she'll start to get a complex if at some point he doesn't introduce sex toys and she knows there's a royal.

[Chick]

That would be a problem.

[Tom]

Maybe she should bring.

[Ali Breen]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Bring one in and go. You know, the. These newer models, they're all. What do you call it rechargeable Because I know when. When we had. What's her name? Sadie. Allison. They don't have batteries anymore. They're all.

[Ali Breen]

Oh, they're all.

[Tom]

You plug them in like an iPad. Sure, yeah, that'd be funny. You go to someone's house and they've got a splitter on the thing. Oh, yeah. This is for the iPad.

[Josh]

This is for the new.

[Tom]

She can take it. 3,000.

[Josh]

You could just slip it into kind conversation, you know, if you guys are kids. Hey, have you ever used sex toys? Just see what he says.

[Tom]

Oh, he's gonna know.

[Josh]

Use sex.

[Ali Breen]

I would think he would too.

[Tom]

Yeah. Pulls the drawer out of him.

[Christy]

Well, don't make it the first question.

[Tom]

Like, how was your day? Do you like sex toys?

[Josh]

Yeah. Exactly where it would be natural. Or.

[Tom]

Or you could do a good joke, depending on what they look like. You could put them out in some kind of array and take a photograph. May I mean, like spell out. Out like the word me or something.

[Ali Breen]

Love.

[Tom]

Yeah. L, U, V. Spell it out with his dildos and send it to him at work. He's in some meeting. Well, as you know, we've got the Johnson account now.

[Chick]

Would that piss you off?

[Josh]

Yes. Oh, my God.

[Tom]

No, it'd be she. It'd be light hearted.

[Josh]

No, it means. It means she went through my drawings.

[Chick]

But it went through. Yeah.

[Tom]

So he left. He left the apartment and she snoozes. You're stupid enough to think she's not gonna start looking around. God.

[Josh]

Ladies.

[Ali Breen]

Well, what if you had a girl stay at your place and you left and came back and she was like, oh, I needed a pen and a paper. And so I just like looked through and I happened to find this thing.

[Josh]

That would piss you off if I believed her. No, no, it wouldn't. But I'm also a guy. That's not. I'm not hiding anything in my drawers.

[Tom]

But as Josh would say, where do you hide it? If he's into this. If he's. If he's into this stuff. Locked garage. I'll go through the way Josh normally approaches this. If. And he's probably right.

[Ali Breen]

Josh has a crawl space.

[Tom]

If he's into this stuff, he's going to be into it in the future.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Tom]

So you might as well acknowledge it and move forward.

[Ali Breen]

Yeah.

[Tom]

If this is his thing, why not.

[Chick]

Wait it out a little bit?

[Josh]

Let him know that you're a snooper.

[Tom]

Yeah. Ally, thank you very much. Are you on stage this weekend?

[Ali Breen]

Yeah, I'm going to be in Philly. I think I said the right thing last time. I'm actually at the Punchline in Philly this weekend. Yeah. So come on out if anyone's in Philly.

[Tom]

All right. Well, thank you, Allie. And we all like the glasses. Thanks, Ali.

[Ali Breen]

Thank you so much.

[Chick]

Bye, Ali.

[Christy]

Bye.

[Tom]

I want to talk to you about the revolution.

[Chick]

What's that?

[Tom]

As I've said, the revolution will not be televised. It'll be radioized, broadcast. The revolution is the revolution in coffee and tea and all kinds of beverages from Java House. The revolution is right here in my hand. This is. It looks like a Keurig cup. It is not. This does not have to go in a machine. You just take this thing here and you peel it off. You peel and pour. And a variety of concentrates. They would include, of course, all kinds of coffee, all kinds of tea, and Josh's favorite, the cocoa. That's right. Also, as you mentioned, Christy Lee, they have various hydration drinks and energy drinks. Energy drinks.

[Chick]

And the Wrangler. Oh, yeah.

[Tom]

Now you can go to javahouse.com and get the full array, see what's going on. On. We're getting love letters already from people that are trying this. And by the way, thanks to the Bob and Thomas show, you can knock 25% off your order if you use a promo code. The code is very simply Bob and Tom. Spell it out. One big long word. B O, B, A N D, T o M. Visit Javahouse.com to learn about the revolution in coffee. This is going to clean up your. Your coffee room at the office. By the way, we have done something really cool here. We have a new machine back there. You don't have to. You don't have to use those giant five gallon jugs of water. Now we have a beautiful machine that does spews out delicious, clear, clean water.

[Chick]

Yeah, could.

[Tom]

You shouldn't go with spews.

[Chick]

Streams out a wonderful.

[Josh]

I wouldn't even go.

[Tom]

It's. It's a water machine. And you don't need to.

[Chick]

All you need to do is you.

[Tom]

Take your coffee, get the water hot or cold. Even. Even frizzy or fizzy. Not frizzy. It's fizzy water. Java House, they do a better job at coffee than I do at reading about things. Once again, 25% off. Use the promo code. Bob and Tom, check out Java House. Revolutionizing coffee at home, at the office, on trips. It's great. Willie G. Called me the other day saying he loved his long drive and he's been driving all over the place with Frank Caliendo doing some shows. Loving the Java house. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show. Just got to get a hold of us.

[Christy]

Call, fax, mail or email. Get all the contact information you [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. There's Christy, Pat, Jessica Olsman. Oscar's in here. I'm Josh. There's Tom. Heck of a morning, Tommy.

[Tom]

Thank you very much. Now, I'm just trying to do a little bit of homework over here. In the meantime, we had an interesting topic this morning in the news. It was a survey about helping people move.

[Chick]

Yeah. Nobody wants to help you move. Get over it.

[Tom]

Yeah, there is a time when you're in college age, you can't really afford movers.

[Chick]

I get it.

[Tom]

Pizza and a beer chair, right? It's worth it. We've already got some letters about this topic. I was complaining because I had to help my college roommate move a antique barber chair made, I think, mostly of cast iron and old smelly leather. Randy writes the worst furniture to help someone move a pool table.

[Josh]

Yeah. Very tough.

[Chick]

Call a professional on that deal.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Tom]

He goes, I've done it twice. I'll never do it a third time. They're five times heavier than they look. Look, when you tilt them, you hear things moving around which are going to have to be fixed. The best way to get a pool table, have it delivered to the location. Build your house around it. This is Randy speaking. If any of my friends are listening, say I'm not helping you again.

[Chick]

And when you move, you sell the pool table with the house. I've done that. I have. Yeah. It's like we're not moving that.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Chick]

You can take it.

[Tom]

And if you've ever had to move a piano, Pat. Oh, yeah.

[Chick]

Times call professional.

[Tom]

That's where you want the pros. They've got the special ling and. Oh, yeah, you know, two dollies to belabor the obvious. Have you ever had to move a piano? Just recently, yeah. Did you do it yourself with your bad back? No, no, no.

[Josh]

I had professional people do it.

[Chick]

Yeah, I have a, I have a high school buddy that owns a piano company, helped me. He's helped me out twice. Yes. I had a mini baby grand piano.

[Josh]

And you didn't give it to me.

[Chick]

I did not.

[Josh]

Where is it now?

[Chick]

I don't know. I donated it.

[Tom]

What is wrong with you? I have a question.

[Chick]

My friend from high school took it. I donated it.

[Tom]

So that's not Redundant. A mini baby grand.

[Chick]

Yeah, it is a baby grand.

[Tom]

It's just called a baby grand.

[Chick]

A baby grand.

[Josh]

It's called toddler grand.

[Chick]

Yeah, mini baby grand. Little baby grand.

[Tom]

Okay. Certainly good to know.

[Chick]

It looked good, but nobody played it.

[Tom]

Anyways, if you can always write us letters. We love hearing from. If you have a. A movie, horror story. We'd love to get that on tomorrow. Tomorrow. Certainly.

[Chick]

Moving. Who wants to move? Nobody.

[Tom]

You're moving. Are you still living out of boxes?

[Chick]

Not really. We're pretty much moved in. But we had one of those amoirs, you know, those big.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Chick]

That wouldn't fit in any of the rooms, so I had to repurpose that.

[Josh]

Did you have a hutch?

[Chick]

Not a hutch.

[Josh]

Now you need to get a hutch.

[Chick]

It's now become a hutch in the dining room. It's now my china cabinet because I couldn't use it upstairs as a.

[Tom]

What's the difference? Difference?

[Chick]

Dresser. Like it's supposed to be.

[Tom]

What's a hutch?

[Chick]

One of those things in the dining room.

[Josh]

Hold your dishes.

[Chick]

Usually has dishes.

[Tom]

It sounds like a guy's cool nickname in college.

[Chick]

Well, Star Skin Hutch.

[Tom]

Hutch Hutchinson. Coming. It's gonna be a lot of weed.

[Josh]

Boy, that Hutch smokes. He smokes.

[Tom]

Now, we had another interesting news story today. That this is a very complicated scientific study and I. I reduced it to a couple of paragraphs.

[Josh]

I understood it a minute immediately.

[Tom]

Well, Josh, who is your favorite musical artist? I know you have many.

[Josh]

Let's go. Pink Floyd.

[Tom]

Pink Floyd. It says listening to your favorite music activates the same parts of your brain as sex.

[Josh]

That's. Wow. Really interesting.

[Chick]

Do you use music during sex?

[Josh]

No, I don't like to. I like to hear the natural Faps and glocks. Are you horny now, Barry? Oh, yeah. This does get me going.

[Tom]

You feel that?

[Chick]

Yeah, I do.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Tom]

The. There has to be a morning show called. Was it Faps and Glucks? Faps and Glux.

[Josh]

Yes. I like the sounds too.

[Tom]

It's fabs and glux in the morning. We got Patty. Patty G. Is it here? He's gonna be singing the song Last Train to Boner City.

[Chick]

I just say focused. I don't like distraction.

[Tom]

Oh, really? You don't want to hear this.

[Chick]

I don't want to hear slaps and glux. No, I don't want to hear the music.

[Tom]

But I know that you. You like to have music during intimate activities, but you insist on playing it live targets in the way a lot of times yeah, it's really. That's why you want to get one of those really, really thin guitars. Mind if I go with my Fender electric? This acoustic really, it keeps me. I'm gonna take off my G string. Hit your F hole. An additional six inches away from the appropriate organs. Thank you very much. Once again, we would love to hear from you, Bob [e-mail]. thank you so much for hanging out with us. Got a surprise coming up. Maybe announced. What is today maybe announced by the end of the week. I'm not sure.

[Josh]

Just say nothing.

[Tom]

It's never. If I want to hear something, someone say nothing. I'll talk to you.

[Josh]

It'll be a post.

[Tom]

These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Want to share something?

[Christy]

Send us an email.

[Tom]

Bob and Tom.

[Christy]

Bob and Tom Dot com.

[Tom]

This is the Bob and Tom Show. Bravo TV star Lala Kent holds nothing back.

[Chick]

There's been so many times where I'm.

[Tom]

Like, I apologize that I said that.

[Chick]

But I wasn't meant for you to hear.

[Tom]

Feel you there.

[Chick]

How fun would it be to bring in some Bravo celebrities and make our own bracket iconic?

[Tom]

All right, I'll take Dorinda, you take Sonia. Sonia is who I wish I could be. You and me both.

[Chick]

I cannot be someone in the program. What's PTO Pay time off.

[Tom]

See, you never had a real job. Give them Lala.

[Chick]

It is nothing but honesty.

[Christy]

You guys know. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.