The BOB & TOM Show - April 30, 2026

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show – April 30, 2026 – Podcast Episode Summary

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Episode Overview

This episode of The BOB & TOM Show delivers the usual morning dose of comedy, absurdity, news, sports talk, listener mail, and witty banter between the main hosts (Tom Griswold, Chick McGee, Christy Lee, Josh Arnold, and Pat Godwin), with regular drop-ins from guests like Al Jackson and Ace Cosby. The April 30, 2026 show features running jokes about royalty, Kentucky Derby horse names, strange animal news, body odor, weird world records, and unique listener stories. The episode has a fast, informal, and irreverent tone, packed with offbeat musical moments, observations about pop culture, and classic BOB & TOM call-and-response jokes.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Royal Family Satire & Prince Charles Jokes

[01:21 – 03:37]

• Doug Bowles opens with a comedic rant about Prince Charles, jokingly admiring his persistence and sense of loyalty (as well as poking fun at Camilla and other royals).
• Jokes about what you’d do if you were King of England.
  • “If I was King England, I’d be sleeping with every woman in England.” – Doug Bowles (01:43)
• Comparisons to biblical King David and references to Charles' ability to withstand family drama.
• Callback jokes about Elton John’s ‘Candle in the Wind’ and funerals.

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2. Kentucky Derby Fever & Horse Names

[04:44 – 51:05 and 48:49 – 51:07]

• Christy is hot on a 15-1 long shot (“So Happy”) for the Kentucky Derby, emphasizing the sentimental backstory.
• Hallmark-style “Kentucky Derby Meet Cute” jokes (04:56), and new Hallmark movies with horse-pun titles (“Love by a Nose”).
• Political correctness in horse names lampooned (“Secretariat is now called Personal Assistant” – Tom, 05:24).
• Later, they use a Derby horse name generator, inventing names for each host:
  • Christy Lee: “Midnight Promise”
  • Josh Arnold: “Majestic Oracle” (which Josh wants to change to “Majestic Orifice”)
  • Pat Godwin: “Silver Monarch”
  • Chick McGee: “Ruthless Thunder”
  • Tom Griswold: “Cosmic Glory”
• More riffs on wacky horse names, betting odds, and playful banter about “Pony Danza,” “Usain Colt,” “Wonder Dean,” “Arthritic Caucasian,” and others.

Memorable Quote:
"I want to buy a horse and name it Usain Cole." – Chick McGee (68:02)

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3. Weird Science, World Records & Odd News

a. Translucent Chicken in China

[05:51 – 06:34]

• Tom introduces a story about a Chinese chef making see-through chicken, to disgusted reactions:
  • “What’s the point?” – Christy Lee (06:09)
  • “This looks like Jell-O, but it’s chicken.” – Tom (06:24)

b. Pablo Escobar’s Hippos

[06:53 – 07:11, 45:16 – 46:31, 105:01 – 109:59]

• Update on Colombia’s “Escobar Hippos”—now ~200, with plans to cull 80.
• Story accentuates the confusion between terms “shoot/euthanize,” with a running joke about teenage hippos.
• New angle: An Indian billionaire wants to adopt some of the hippos to prevent their euthanasia.
• Pat Godwin sings an original hippo song set to a classic tune:
  • “80 of us are flying to India on a plane, we all weigh around 5,000 pounds. What possibly could go wrong?” – Pat Godwin (109:03)

c. Balloon-Keeping World Record

[07:58 – 08:43; 70:14 – 72:14]

• David Rush’s latest Guinness World Record: keeping 5 balloons aloft for 16:25 minutes with a partner.
• They joke about the ease of this record (“Two 6-year-olds on a rainy day in Denver could break it”).

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4. Medical Oddities and Comedy

a. Rectal Exams & Heart Health

[08:43 – 10:06; 89:28 – 91:44]

• Tom and Christy discuss a medical story about a man whose irregular heartbeat (AFib) was converted back to normal by a rectal exam.
• Banter about Tom’s own history with AFib and medical procedures, devolving into extended jokes about treatments involving unlikely anatomical routes.
  • “Rectally? They can treat it well?” – Josh Arnold (10:43)

b. Flu-Diagnosing Chewing Gum

[103:20 – 104:13]

• New research about a chewing gum that detects influenza.

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5. Listener Letters, Call-and-Response, and Classic Bits

a. Musical Call-and-Response

[39:12 – 41:42; 125:47 – 126:33]

• Listeners test the hosts on classic pop culture call-and-response sequences (e.g. “shave and a haircut—two bits”, “Here she comes now, singing Mony Mony”, “Cut my life into pieces—this is my last resort”, “The stars at night are big and bright…”).
• Disco echo: “Y.M.C.A.”, “bop” (My Sharona), etc.

b. Three Testicles & Conjoined Twin Anecdotes

[13:03 – 15:02]

• Listener letter about a man with “one testicle bigger than the other two,” which spirals into jokes about conjoined twins sharing genitalia.

c. Wedding Underwear Mishap

[22:23 – 25:50]

• Tom recounts eloping, inadvertently wearing his wife’s underwear under see-through linen pants (“I had to turn them around for coverage”).

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6. Body Odor, Fetish, and “Underground Idols”

[92:19 – 98:14]

• News: Japanese “underground idol” sells armpit sniffing sessions to male fans—debates ensue about fetish pricing and Western openness.
• Segue to scientific findings that women’s body odor becomes more attractive to men during ovulation.
• Brainstorming session about launching “Christy’s Pit Stop” as an armpit-sniffing business at the Indy 500.
  • “We could do a radio gag: Christy’s Pit Stop—Carb Day.” – Pat Godwin (98:43)

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7. Sexual Health in the News

[145:17 – 147:39]

• Global condom prices up 20–30% due to disruptions from the Iran war.
• Jokes about condom brands, the economics of birth control, and how kids today carry them (or don’t).
• “Birth control is 100% the woman’s responsibility.” – Josh Arnold (149:31, parodying bad advice)

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8. Marijuana Miscellany

a. Monks Smuggling Weed

[113:44 – 114:27; 160:44 – 161:14]

• Sri Lankan monks arrested for attempting to smuggle 242 lbs. of cannabis—robed, shaven-head Hindu clergy.
• Pat Godwin: “They’re felonious monks.”

b. Marijuana Vending Machines

[151:01 – 152:20]

• NJ man arrested for running unlicensed weed vending machines ($17k–$20k/day).
• Debate about legality, age verification, and similarities to vending machines for alcohol.

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9. Comedy, Parody Songs & Pop Culture

[27:21 – 27:47; 81:09 – 82:24]

• Pat Godwin musical parody: “Slump Busting Gold Thong,” inspired by the story of Derek Jeter wearing gold underwear to break a baseball slump.
• Kavanaugh original “Piston Pants” played and dissected as a wordplay masterclass.
• Pat’s “Shatner Pants”—a riff on the prior segment.

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10. Misc. Absurdities, Recurring Gags & History

Dog Dreaming Anecdote

• “Do rabbits dream of being chased by dogs?” – Tom Griswold (159:41)

Travel Roommate Survey

• Most Americans think they’d be a perfect travel roommate; hosts disagree and riff on hotel etiquette (folding dirty clothes, picking beds).

Fashion & Sweets

• Werther’s Originals in the break room launches a discussion of ageism marketing, including ad campaign ideas starring Sydney Sweeney.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Royal Comedy

• “What’s the fun of being King of England if you can’t sleep with every woman in England?”
  – Doug Bowles (02:20)

Wedding Mishaps

• “So I was now wearing… her underpants. But I was wearing them backwards for full coverage.”
  – Tom Griswold (24:10)

Absurd Observations

• “You can milk a cobra, but you need special tweezers—their nipples are so small.”
  – Listener letter, Joe, with Josh Arnold riff (44:04)

Erotic Business Pitches

• “Josh, you and I should start some sort of armpit pimp ring.”
  – Chick McGee (98:03)

Celebrity Endorsements

• “I think we have it with Sydney Sweeney sucking on Werther’s. Are you crazy?”
  – Chick McGee (77:50)

World Records

• “The record they beat was held by two six-year-olds on a rainy day in Denver.”
  – Tom Griswold (71:12)

Out of Left Field

• “Birth control is 100% the woman’s responsibility.”
  – Josh Arnold parodying bad logic (149:31)

The “Alpine Divorce”

• “An Alpine divorce is, you go on a hike with your partner and ditch them—or push them off a cliff.”
  – Tom Griswold (136:29)

Medical Comedy

• “Rectally? They can treat it well?”
  – Josh Arnold (10:43)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment Description | |------------|----------------------| | 01:21-03:37 | Prince Charles Rant and Royalty Jokes | | 04:44-05:14 | Derby Bet: “So Happy” with Christy Lee | | 05:51-06:34 | Translucent Chicken News | | 06:53-07:11 | Escobar Hippo Update | | 08:43-10:06 | Rectal Exam Cures Afib Story | | 13:03-15:02 | Listener Letter: 3 Testicles, Conjoined Twins | | 22:23-25:50 | Tom’s Wedding Underwear Mishap | | 39:12-41:42 | Famous Call-and-Response Games | | 45:16-46:31 | Hippos/Escobar Song & Indian Billionaire | | 48:49-51:07 | Derby Name Generator – Horse Name Riffs | | 70:14-72:14 | Balloon-Keeping World Record Analysis | | 81:09-82:24 | Parody Song: “Shatner Pants” by Pat Godwin | | 92:19-98:14 | Japan: Idol Sells Armpit Sniffs / Body Odor Science | | 103:20-104:13 | Chewing Gum Flu Test | | 105:01-109:59 | Escobar Hippos - Surgery & India Rescue, Song | | 145:17-147:39 | Condom Prices Spike – Iran War | | 151:01-152:20 | Marijuana Vending Machine Kingpin Arrested | | 159:41-160:07 | “Do rabbits dream about being chased by dogs?” | | 163:09-163:39 | Pat Godwin's Pot Song: "Everywhere I Go It Smells Like Weed" |

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Episode Tone & Style

• Language & Tone: Conversational, irreverent, sarcastic, and punctuated with lighthearted sexual innuendo, puns, and off-color jokes. The chemistry between the hosts is central, with friendly mockery and frequent callbacks.
• Structure: Fast-moving, hopping across topics and relying on callbacks, improv riffs, and the distinctive personalities of each cast member.
• Audience: Familiarity with the show's format or prior episodes enhances the humor, but new listeners will quickly catch the running gags and dynamics.

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Conclusion

This BOB & TOM Show episode is a riotous showcase of their decades-honed blend of topical absurdity, musical comedy, listener engagement, and watercooler-style banter. From Kentucky Derby madness and royal musings to hippos, body odor commerce, and medical quirks, the show finds the funny in everyday weirdness and trending stories, never missing an opportunity for a groaner of a pun or a classic parody. If you missed the episode, this summary brings you the best of its tangents, running jokes, and most memorable moments.

Transcript

[Josh Arnold]

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[Chick McGee]

You didn't start a business just to

[Tom Griswold]

keep the lights on. You're here to sell more today than yesterday. You're here to win. Lucky for you, Shopify built the best

[Chick McGee]

converting checkout on the planet.

[Tom Griswold]

Like the just one tapping ridiculously fast acting sky high sales stacking champion of checkouts.

[Chick McGee]

That's the good stuff right there.

[Tom Griswold]

So if your business is in it to win it, win with Shopify. Start your free trial [e-mail] winner.

[Chick McGee]

It's the bob and tom show.

[Doug Bowles]

I've decided I'm the only guy in the world that likes the hell out of Prince Charles.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, really?

[Doug Bowles]

I want to drink a Budweiser with Prince Charles.

[Christy Lee]

You think Prince Charles drinks Budweiser?

[Doug Bowles]

If he hangs out with me, he's going to.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, then he won't do either.

[Doug Bowles]

And I'm positive, I'm positive that Pat Carlini and Christie both despise Prince Charles.

[Christy Lee]

Despise him?

[Chick McGee]

He's a little strange, but he's kind of a geek.

[Josh Arnold]

Told you.

[Doug Bowles]

He's got big ears and he can't dance well. But the man's gonna be the king of England. He's going out with his old college girlfriend, Camilla Parker. Dam Bowles, the ugliest woman in England. So apparently he can see past outside beauty into inner beau, which makes him one of them Oprah Winfrey sensitive types. He could be sleeping with every woman in England. She's gonna be the king of damn England. I was King England. I'd be sleeping with every woman in England. I'd be knocking on the door. Fred, go to Home Depot for about an hour. King England. Good to see you.

[Chick McGee]

How you doing?

[Doug Bowles]

Doug, Bring your wife over in a bathing suit.

[Josh Arnold]

Go with him.

[Doug Bowles]

Bring me back some pliers. King England.

[Chick McGee]

How you doing?

[Doug Bowles]

Good to see you. What's the fun of being king of England if you can't sleep with every woman in England?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, God.

[Doug Bowles]

King David and the Bible did that. Remember that? His big sin. He's up on the palace wall. He looks over and sees Bathsheba the new girl next door taking a bath on the roof. Boy, look at the breast on her. It turns out her husband's a captain in your army. Well, screw him. Send him to the front. Prince Charles can ride a horse without falling off. He can ski down a hill without wrapping himself around a pine tree somewhere. Takes care of his kids, looks good in a kilt. Yeah, and he's got to take crap off his brother in law in front of five begging people at one time at the funeral. And keep a straight face. You know good and well he wanted to reach over and bitch slap that brother in law.

[Chick McGee]

We hope that the children would be

[Tom Griswold]

raised the way that Diana wants them

[Doug Bowles]

raised as opposed to the way that Charles. I said, Hey, 400 years ago, your nuts would be a door knocker on the tower. How about you head back to South Africa and run around on your wife some more? Sell trinkets at the grave site. Get the gay guy back up there and play piano some more. I'm going to impale both of you.

[Chick McGee]

King England.

[Pat Godwin]

King England.

[Doug Bowles]

I've heard Candle in the Wind that makes my butt hurt. King England.

[Chick McGee]

Yep, that's Tim Wilson, the King of England. King Charles. Charlemagne, if you will. Huh? From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, it's the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee and her doily top. There's Applique. Sorry, A, P, P, L, I, Q,

[Josh Arnold]

U, E. That'd be my guess.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, right. Applique.

[Christy Lee]

Nice.

[Chick McGee]

Maybe there's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick. Hello. Tom. You want to try to spell Applique?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't care.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Don't know what tampons come in. Right?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Comfortable applicator.

[Tom Griswold]

Good to know. Well, hello. Let's get right to it. We have a lot going on. Of course, we'll have a sports broadcast from Chick Maggie over there.

[Chick McGee]

Something possibly resembling. If you look at it from the

[Tom Griswold]

right angle, we do have NBA playoff action going on.

[Chick McGee]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

We do have the Kentucky Derby coming up.

[Christy Lee]

So happy. 15 to 1. My money's on that one.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, really?

[Christy Lee]

Yep.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, Christy.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah?

[Chick McGee]

Get in the program.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Come on. You're gambling.

[Christy Lee]

It's got another. It's. It's a wonderful backstory. Very sweet. I have a feeling.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Is there a Kentucky Derby themed Meet Cute for the Hallmark Channel?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, a new one.

[Chick McGee]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

Boy, and I forget. It's called Kentucky something and I either already aired or is about to.

[Chick McGee]

It's like Buy a nose Love by a nose.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that's terrific.

[Chick McGee]

Nothing like that.

[Tom Griswold]

But they've gotten really politically correct. Secretariat's now called Personal Assistant.

[Josh Arnold]

The times do a change.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, they sure do.

[Tom Griswold]

They gotta be. They gotta be with them. I don't know. Is that out there right now?

[Josh Arnold]

As I just said, it's either just been released or will be this weekend or something.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. No, I wasn't paying attention.

[Chick McGee]

I know.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm getting organized over here.

[Chick McGee]

You never pay attention. I.

[Tom Griswold]

We've got all kinds of weird things going on. I'm just trying to catch up with the news. How about this story? I didn't give this to you, Christie. I haven't really had. You know, there's a guy in China who's making translucent chicken to eat.

[Chick McGee]

Huh?

[Christy Lee]

What's the point?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. First off, why?

[Chick McGee]

And, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, their rice noodles are already translucent enough. And that's weird.

[Chick McGee]

You know what, though? That glow in the dark stuff? I mean, remember your first glow in the dark thing? You went in the bathroom, turned the lights off.

[Josh Arnold]

Exciting.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. So translucent.

[Tom Griswold]

This looks like Jell O, but it's chicken. Yeah, it's a translucent fried chicken.

[Chick McGee]

I guess it wouldn't necessarily glow in the dark, you see?

[Doug Bowles]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Looks like glass.

[Chick McGee]

Huh?

[Tom Griswold]

It's a laborious process involving liquefying the chicken and using molds to reshape it. Doesn't sound all that tasty. I'll pass. Coming up, we have vending machines in the news. We have an update on the famous Escobar hippos.

[Josh Arnold]

Gosh, I can't wait till they're just dead.

[Christy Lee]

Me, too.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, they say that I originally just wanted them all to live and flourish,

[Tom Griswold]

but now they think there are about 200 of them. And last week we had, or maybe the week before, the story that the government of Colombia had agreed to cull is the word they used.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah. Thin the herd. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Shoot. 80 of them. But now someone's going to step in, apparently, and.

[Chick McGee]

Did they say they were going to shoot 80?

[Christy Lee]

Well, they said they were going to.

[Pat Godwin]

They're going to do something.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't think they said shoot. I think they use the. They did say euthanize, which is an interesting. Oh, you're gonna. You're gonna make them younger and like teenagers. Teenage hippos.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, you don't want a teenage hippo.

[Chick McGee]

They're unpleasant.

[Tom Griswold]

Middle school hippo. My God.

[Chick McGee]

Don't hassle me, man.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, now, what have you got over there, Mr. McGee?

[Chick McGee]

What do we got? NBA and NHL. Stanley cup playoff action. Here's Tom with an overview of the Stanley Cup.

[Tom Griswold]

Stanley Give me that cup.

[Chick McGee]

That's right. And David Rush and a new world record.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And it's about. It's about balloons. And I. I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

This one seems doable.

[Chick McGee]

I think Josh and I could do it. Or any number, any combination of. Anybody could do this, I think.

[Tom Griswold]

All right. Yeah, we had. He had another one not too long ago that involved a whole bunch of people. This is. I think this is the two man version of the. Of a balloon world record. Not the kind of balloon you sail in or go up in the sky and. But the kind you blow up.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah. I. I didn't think it was a hot air balloon. They were trying to.

[Tom Griswold]

That'd be an interesting record, certainly.

[Chick McGee]

Back and forth between each other. I like this guy's last name, though. Gosh. Alex Gosh.

[Tom Griswold]

Spelled like Bosch. Very good. Christy, what have you got? Coming up?

[Christy Lee]

Coming up, as you mentioned, we have the hippos in the news. We have rectal exams in the news, because everybody likes to talk about their butts. And a stripper pole in the news.

[Tom Griswold]

What's really interesting, this rectal exam story is absolutely fascinating.

[Christy Lee]

It is.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, this could be a revolution in the treatment of a different.

[Christy Lee]

You know.

[Chick McGee]

Have you heard of this?

[Josh Arnold]

Have you?

[Chick McGee]

The. The. It teaches you a lesson. The boy who cried wolf. If you say every day this is utterly fascinating, it loses a little bit.

[Tom Griswold]

I. Christy, would I.

[Christy Lee]

You know, fascinating.

[Chick McGee]

I tell you what, if it is, I will. I will say I am. I too, am fascinated.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a very common ailment that millions of Americans deal with, and there may be a new treatment.

[Christy Lee]

You. Actually, I. Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

I used to have it. I used to deal with it.

[Chick McGee]

You got it. Oh, but you got rid of it. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, but I mean, I got rid of it with a very complicated surgical procedure and then another one, and then it involved lasers and.

[Christy Lee]

Huh.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But now it. It could be much easier. Fascinating.

[Josh Arnold]

Interesting.

[Tom Griswold]

Why don't you.

[Chick McGee]

Why don't you explain all your symptoms and we'll watch Pat get it right before our very eyes.

[Pat Godwin]

I was getting nervous just hearing him

[Tom Griswold]

talk when he gets it. Atrial fibrillation also.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Cure him in front of our eyes.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, yeah. And you could write. Do you have a song about afib? That's what they. That's what they call it.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Pat Godwin]

What are the symptoms of that?

[Tom Griswold]

It's an irregular heartbeat.

[Christy Lee]

Irregular heartbeat.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yes. Every now and then I'll feel it, like, stop a little, I think.

[Chick McGee]

Or maybe you're in love. I thought you told me you were in love.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm in love with you.

[Pat Godwin]

You know that.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, no, no. I know you're trying to deny it. I'm in love with love.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

In love with the parking lot.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, we'll find out about if. If you've ever dealt with afib. This. This is going to be quite a surprise.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Interesting. Rectally. They can treat it well.

[Tom Griswold]

That's what this. This is.

[Chick McGee]

That's what I heard.

[Tom Griswold]

This is what happened in this one case.

[Josh Arnold]

We're sure we're not just dealing with one butt crazy doctor. You know what'll fix that?

[Chick McGee]

You know what will fix that? Put it through the pot.

[Christy Lee]

You know what I learned this morning on the way into work?

[Josh Arnold]

What?

[Christy Lee]

That scaramouche is actually a thing. I thought it was a made up word that Queen put in Bohemian Rhapsody.

[Tom Griswold]

Scaramouche is a character.

[Christy Lee]

I had no idea.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Oh, no, Scaramouche. No, Scaramouche is a liqueur. It's a raspberry flavored liqueur.

[Christy Lee]

No, it's not. I'm so stupid that I didn't know that.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, don't feel stupid. It sounds like a nonsense word.

[Christy Lee]

Scaramouche. Garamouche is amazing.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you do the fandango? No, it's. It's hack lyrics. Just a bunch of stuff thrown in there.

[Chick McGee]

It's lasted forever.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a meaningless crappy song.

[Christy Lee]

Can you do the fandango? He's asking the character. Can you do the fandango? I didn't.

[Chick McGee]

Thunderbolts and lightning. That part's all made up. I don't know what that means. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Very, very frightening.

[Pat Godwin]

What's that all about?

[Christy Lee]

Galileo? I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

How did you get. How did you happen to find that out? I. Casey Casem.

[Christy Lee]

I listened to. I listened to the symphony channel and they were talking about an upcoming symphony that he.

[Josh Arnold]

Scaramouches.

[Christy Lee]

Yes. And it was part of the story of the symphony and.

[Josh Arnold]

Interesting.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, well. And you didn't have the urge to

[Chick McGee]

just, I don't know, jerk the wheel

[Tom Griswold]

to the oncoming lane?

[Josh Arnold]

You do what you have to do to prepare yourself to be in this room.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

You got your light jazz. Don't be throwing stones over here.

[Tom Griswold]

Not playing light jazz.

[Christy Lee]

Sometimes I play real jazz. But. But today I was.

[Tom Griswold]

Ray Bryant is a distinguished.

[Chick McGee]

I come in now and there's. He's playing this music and he looks at me and goes, it's Ray Bryant. Every morning. Unbelievable.

[Christy Lee]

Don't you ever mix it up?

[Tom Griswold]

I mix it up. He happened to come in today. It was Ra.

[Pat Godwin]

Yesterday was early Genesis, so that was a treat.

[Josh Arnold]

Early Gen. Like Peter Gabriel.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Chick McGee]

Squonk the Lamb. Oh, Squonk isn't bad.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's okay.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a good one. Yeah. Squonk live from Paris.

[Chick McGee]

You can have the Lamb Lies down on Broadway.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, it goes on forever.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

That comes out dressed as an amoeba or whatever.

[Tom Griswold]

He comes out as Scaramouche.

[Christy Lee]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, now we will push on with your letters. We got one for Josh right up on top here.

[Chick McGee]

Hi.

[Tom Griswold]

Let me read this real quick. It says, good morning, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

Morning to you.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

I just wanted to let you know that every Friday an older gentleman tells me a joke at work.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I love that.

[Tom Griswold]

Last Friday, the old man came up and said he was feeling really self conscious because people were making fun of him at the gym. Oh. He said they were poking fun at him because one of his testicles was bigger than the other two. Thank you, Ty. In West Virginia. I'm not sure why he directed this at you.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, so that's not one of the jokes.

[Christy Lee]

That's not a joke.

[Josh Arnold]

That just happened to be an anecdote the guy shared with him?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Christy Lee]

He was standing there naked.

[Tom Griswold]

He said, one of your testicles is bigger than the other two.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, it's okay. Yeah, that's a pretty good joke.

[Chick McGee]

What? Wait a minute.

[Josh Arnold]

So the joke is, why would he have three testicles? And why. If you're going to point something out, why are you pointing out one is bigger? Why would it bug you that one is bigger?

[Tom Griswold]

I got it.

[Chick McGee]

Does that occur in nature that some men have three testicles?

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know. No. I mean, I'll bet it probably is. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But yeah, there's probably some guy that has six.

[Chick McGee]

You think one of these conjoined twins, they have to. They share testicles or something? Probably down there.

[Tom Griswold]

Boy, do they have conjoined twins that have one.

[Chick McGee]

One unit and.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yeah, it's Thursday.

[Josh Arnold]

It's my night.

[Chick McGee]

You know, they have to take a number.

[Tom Griswold]

There was a conjoined twin story yesterday that I chose not to do.

[Josh Arnold]

Take it out.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you see it, Christine?

[Chick McGee]

Psychic comedy continues. You know, can you give us a thumbnail that we get the gist?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, the gist of it was they were. One. One of them was getting married. Right, Christine?

[Christy Lee]

Well, we've had that before, too. Where?

[Tom Griswold]

And the other said she wouldn't babysit.

[Chick McGee]

Is that right? I draw the line watching your damn kid.

[Christy Lee]

Well, think about That, I mean she's gonna have to go through the pregnancy with her and I mean can she carry a baby pretty rough.

[Al Jackson]

I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

Wouldn't you spe waking moment of your life trying to get free?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. Although in Stuck on you, the Farrelly brothers movie, they, they try to get back together. They didn't necessarily care. Being separated is that threw them off.

[Chick McGee]

Right?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear.

[Tom Griswold]

Now we'll push on. Right now I want to talk about feeling good at home. Right?

[Chick McGee]

Peace of mind, Tom. That's what we're talking about with Simplisafe, the do it yourself home security system. Let's put it this way. It's so easy. It's so easy. Did it. You can easily customize a security system that's right for your home.

[Josh Arnold]

And you, you think there are conjoined twins out there. One of they wake up and one of them goes, I saw what you did last night on my Simply Safe.

[Chick McGee]

That's right. I watched everything. You think I had my back to

[Josh Arnold]

you, but you're sitting right there.

[Chick McGee]

Simplisafe's app, guided setup, no drilling required. You don't have to wait that two hour magical two hour window for the technician.

[Josh Arnold]

You didn't really need the cameras. You could have just looked to his left.

[Chick McGee]

Right? Yeah. Cameras were comprehensive.

[Tom Griswold]

We picked up on it simply say just trying to move forward here.

[Chick McGee]

It's a comprehensive ecosystem of sensors, cameras inside. Now 247 professional monitoring and the in the event of a break in a fire or flood, Simplisafe's agents ready to take action. And you know Simplisafe, there's no long term contracts. None. Zero. No lock ins or hidden cancellation fees. Neither. Simplisafe earns your business by keeping you safe, not by trapping you in a contract. 247 monitoring for a fraction of what the traditional brands charge. And Simplisafe named America's best customer service by Newsweek. We'd like you to experience peace of mind that we do here at the Bob and Tom show and I do at the old compound. It's edging ever closer to sovereign nation status. Go to SimpliSafe tom.com right now and you get 50% off your new system. That's half off, kids. Go to simplisafetom.com right now. 50% [e-mail] Remember, there's no safe like

[Tom Griswold]

simply say thank you very much. Some cool stuff posted on the Bob and Tom website. We've got a whole we really revamped the website and also the VIP thing we got up and running was really cool and our app is all new and a lot better. So if you get a chance, check those things out. We're coming Back to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. I don't know about you, but I like keeping my money where I can see it. Unfortunately, traditional big wireless carriers also seem to like keeping my money too. After years of overpaying for wireless, I finally got fed up with crazy high wireless bills, bogus fees and so called free perks that actually cost more in the long run. And I switched to Mint Mobile and now I'm only paying a fraction of what I used to pay Mint Mobile. Works for me. It'll work for you too.

[Christy Lee]

Ditch overpriced wireless and get three months of premium wireless service from Mint Mobile for 15 bucks a month. All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network.

[Josh Arnold]

Bring your own phone and number, activate with ESIM in minutes and start saving immediately. No long term contracts, no hassle. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with premium wireless plans starting at 15 bucks a month.

[Chick McGee]

If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop [e-mail] Bob and Tom that's mintmobile.com Bob and Tom upfront payment of $45 for a 3 month 5 gigabyte plan required equivalent to $15 customer offer for just 3 months only. Then full price plan options available, taxes and amp fees extra. See mintmobile.com welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. the news desk, Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

Hello. There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey chicken.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold. Hey, Ace Cosby's here. Hello, I'm Chick McGee. And there's Tom. And it's time for emails from our listeners brought to you by Sleep number. It's the everything is on sale Memorial Day event.

[Josh Arnold]

I like that Sleep number.

[Chick McGee]

How about that everything?

[Tom Griswold]

I just was in my sleep number bed. I just thinking about it makes me. Oh, it's nice. It's the best.

[Chick McGee]

Every bed and every base is on sale for personalized comfort night after night only at a sleep number store or sleep number.com. they really are swell.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what Lenny has to say right off the bat and I love the name Lenny, Love. There's not enough. There aren't enough little kids named Lenny.

[Chick McGee]

We need more Lenny's. And Leonard.

[Josh Arnold]

You're exactly right.

[Tom Griswold]

They're all Leo now.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Or Liam's. Yes, you're right. There are a lot of.

[Chick McGee]

How about Nard?

[Josh Arnold]

Nard?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. For Leonard, right?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't think so.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, I like the guy who's got the confidence to go with the back half.

[Chick McGee]

Please call me Nard.

[Tom Griswold]

You do?

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Chick McGee]

That guy's Nard dog.

[Tom Griswold]

Lexi.

[Josh Arnold]

Like Topher. I. I think Topher Grace is awesome. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I was chilled to the bone when I found out his name was Christopher and they called him Topher.

[Josh Arnold]

I. I know. I know.

[Chick McGee]

And you were the one that told me.

[Josh Arnold]

But he's a good actor.

[Christy Lee]

I have a buddy named Tov. We just call it Jove.

[Pat Godwin]

Is he a Christopher?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

So this. This could be done with virtually any names. So, Thomas, I would just be Ass?

[Christy Lee]

Yep.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, you wouldn't go with Moss.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You go, Mom.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Sorry.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Lenny. It says chicks. Carson. Highly underrated.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you very much. Now, now, Doc, did you. Did you have a good. Did you have a great weekend this weekend?

[Josh Arnold]

Holy moly.

[Tom Griswold]

How about.

[Chick McGee]

How about Tommy and I and Doc go over there and dig at up? How about that?

[Tom Griswold]

How about that, Johnny? Did Johnny go first? I think he did, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, he did go before it. Did Doc ever go?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't think so.

[Chick McGee]

I think Doc's still alive.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, he's still here.

[Tom Griswold]

Doc Servants.

[Josh Arnold]

What's up with him?

[Chick McGee]

Gosh, he's got to be still touring.

[Tom Griswold]

But that's 90s, right?

[Chick McGee]

I still got it.

[Tom Griswold]

He was great.

[Chick McGee]

He plays the trumpet.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And he always wore the great suits. I see.

[Christy Lee]

98.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, whoa.

[Christy Lee]

1927.

[Tom Griswold]

What's up with him? The jig is up. You're gonna die.

[Josh Arnold]

Doc is sitting where Ed normally does, and he's. He's with Johnny and talking about how there's really not much going on for Thanksgiving. He doesn't really have any plans. And Johnny goes, oh, you can come to my house. And he's like, no, thank.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I have an obscure request here. All right, Pat. This involves the slump of Derek Jeter.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, the story Jeter made up when he didn't have anything to talk about.

[Pat Godwin]

Someone wrote me a letter. They said, so Tom wore women's underwear like Derek Jeter to get out of his marriage slump.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, I'll explain very quickly.

[Christy Lee]

I didn't realize.

[Tom Griswold]

I have been divorced for 27 years.

[Chick McGee]

I was Telling him off here. I think it's adorable. He's just now getting married for the second time. That's really cute. That's nice.

[Tom Griswold]

The short version is I got married over the weekend.

[Christy Lee]

Where's your ring?

[Tom Griswold]

I. I was in a rush this morning.

[Chick McGee]

That's what I used to say. A week before I went to my girlfriend's house.

[Tom Griswold]

It's too. I can't explain it.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. You know what? It's up to you. Wear it. Don't wear it.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I've been. I'm wearing it faithfully. Just was rushed out the doors.

[Christy Lee]

Plastic one. It's more comfortable.

[Al Jackson]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

I like it better.

[Tom Griswold]

In any event, the story is very simple. Kelly and I eloped 48 hours in the Bahamas, and she had purchased some white linen trousers for me. And as a regular listener to the show knows, I. I exclusively wear black underwear.

[Christy Lee]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

And I did.

[Josh Arnold]

It's working.

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't think this through. I didn't think this through. And I. I tried on the. The linen pants for our little evening beach wedding. That's really annoying. And the. The. The. You can see through the. The paint. So it's like. Like the famous scene in Vacation where Randy Quaid comes out. He's got the dickie on, and you can see it through the white shirt.

[Christy Lee]

Correct.

[Tom Griswold]

So I said, I'll just have to go commando. That was immediately rejected. And then I looked around and there

[Chick McGee]

were a pair of her.

[Tom Griswold]

My flesh tone. But they happen to be her underpants. So I put those on and so you couldn't see those through the linen. But the problem was certain things. As you know, the way women's underwear is constructed. The. There's a narrowing in the crotch area in the front.

[Christy Lee]

Correct.

[Tom Griswold]

And I went about my business, but things were flopping out, if you will.

[Christy Lee]

You had to turn them around.

[Tom Griswold]

So what. I had the logical move. I took them off and did a 180 degree spin.

[Christy Lee]

Now you're wearing.

[Tom Griswold]

So I was now wearing. But I was wearing women's underwear.

[Chick McGee]

Now you can't. You shouldn't launder those. That they should go in a special bag.

[Tom Griswold]

I packed them myself. I took them back to the house. I laundered them then.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Keep them away. Keep them stored. So that's when they get married.

[Chick McGee]

Tell that story.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. You can pass them down.

[Josh Arnold]

Like, you know, Whaley gets married. He can wear.

[Christy Lee]

It'll be a good luck.

[Chick McGee]

Where's your.

[Tom Griswold]

That won't go over real well.

[Chick McGee]

Where's your wedding panties? Boy? Get in there.

[Tom Griswold]

I've made a mental Note, this week I have to go out and buy a pair of white underpants in case I ever want to wear those linen.

[Christy Lee]

No, you don't want beach pants again. You want a flesh color because the white will stand out as well, and

[Tom Griswold]

then you'll look silly. You can buy flesh colored men's underwear, I would assume.

[Chick McGee]

Sure.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Any color men's underwear, brother. Hell yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

How long you bear?

[Tom Griswold]

Ladies and gentlemen, that may be the funniest thing Ace has ever said. They're holy.

[Josh Arnold]

We know that.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. They breathe. He farts holes in his underwear. Remember that.

[Tom Griswold]

The key is, is a flesh tone that varies person to person.

[Chick McGee]

No, we acted like it was normal,

[Tom Griswold]

so I. I was actually. So I was on the beat.

[Josh Arnold]

No, he's white as a lily down there. It's already.

[Tom Griswold]

So you have like a reverse suntan. Couldn't you see that Ace on a billboard with the. Remember the dog grabbing the little girl's bathing suit?

[Josh Arnold]

It could be Sammy Sosa down there. We have no clue.

[Tom Griswold]

Ace is a giant white ass. Where was I? I was telling the charming story of getting married.

[Chick McGee]

Ace has a giant white ass.

[Tom Griswold]

It's on a billboard. By the way, is that billboard now politically incorrect?

[Chick McGee]

I assume Capitol. Whatever that was, it was not the

[Josh Arnold]

copper tone puppy kid.

[Chick McGee]

These days she's got a cute ass.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, geez.

[Tom Griswold]

These days.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, boy.

[Tom Griswold]

So in any event, I was married, wearing Kelly's. Kelly's underwear. So if someone asked now, did she

[Chick McGee]

wear something of yours?

[Christy Lee]

Something borrowed, something blue, possibly an ass?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know. I didn't go through.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, Croat.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Christy Lee]

Well, he had on a blue shirt, so.

[Josh Arnold]

So then somebody else something blues said, oh, hey, he wore a woman's underwear. So did Derek Jeter once. Can we hear that?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Let's hear this.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow, Pat, I like the song. I just don't like what it takes to get there.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm so sorry. Josh, tell us about your adventures fishing over the weekend.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I'm glad you asked. I had a new spy bait.

[Chick McGee]

And you know that. That someone on our text line. Someone on our text line said, tom explains everything under the sun. Except he can't explain how he takes a ring off and on and off in the morning. Yeah, you said it's too busy. I can't do that.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no, I.

[Christy Lee]

Why do you take your ring off?

[Chick McGee]

Why do you take it in the first place? Why'd you take it?

[Josh Arnold]

Why are you engaging him? Why do you guys ask him questions?

[Tom Griswold]

You're the one that taught Me, Yesterday, you take soap and water, wash your hands, and it slides around.

[Chick McGee]

You know, what if we ignored him? Yeah, okay.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no, we ignore him, he'll talk, but less.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

The point of the story is that Derek Jeter.

[Josh Arnold]

Huh?

[Tom Griswold]

Derek Jeter was on the Tonight Show. This ties into.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Tonight it was with Jimmy Fallon, though not. Not Johnny Fallon. And Jeter explained that in 2002 he was having a slump. And one of his teammates said, if you wear a golden thong, it'll take you out of the slump. Incredulous at first. According to the Associated Press, Jeter gave it a shot. His first pitch at bat while wearing the thong, a home run.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

He had been 0 for 32 before that home run on April 29, 2004. So we're just celebrated the anniversary of that event yesterday. Oh, and that's the story, Pat. That's the seven minute setup. You're welcome.

[Pat Godwin]

Just a slump busting gold thong got Jeter out of a losing streak. Oh, you know it did. Wrapped around his buttocks, stuck in his cross crack. It's hard for Jeets to take a leak. Ace, turn up the piano. That's nice. His teammate swears that it works. It'll get him out of that rut. Then Jeter hits a home run with that gold thong up his butt. You know, it's just a goal. It's just. Where am I here? Busting gold thong.

[Tom Griswold]

We have to do the words now. What are you writing it down?

[Josh Arnold]

I got lost. Oh, here we go.

[Pat Godwin]

Here we go. So let me get it back.

[Josh Arnold]

Jesus.

[Pat Godwin]

Take a league.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you, you watch. I'm gonna watch a movie. I deserve it, you know.

[Josh Arnold]

Can we get back to Tom?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, sorry.

[Josh Arnold]

I enjoyed it.

[Chick McGee]

So anyway, Derek Jr. Played baseball.

[Josh Arnold]

least he didn't fumble.

[Tom Griswold]

He should come back.

[Pat Godwin]

His teammate swears that it works. It'll get him out of that Ruth.

[Chick McGee]

Boy, the Mets are having a hell of a ninja.

[Pat Godwin]

Hits the home run with that gold thong up his butt.

[Chick McGee]

Everybody, here it comes.

[Josh Arnold]

Just a slump busting gold thong.

[Tom Griswold]

Slump busting gold thong back.

[Pat Godwin]

Nothing goes on when the chips are down. What do I do now, Tommy?

[Tom Griswold]

Just a slump busting gold thong.

[Pat Godwin]

Hose it down and send it to Cooper Town.

[Tom Griswold]

Cooper Town, Cooper Town.

[Josh Arnold]

No, you're very good.

[Pat Godwin]

I looked up and I went back and I didn't know where I was going.

[Chick McGee]

To Cooper Town.

[Pat Godwin]

Tom could have gone on for 20 more minutes. I could have gone over my notes.

[Tom Griswold]

So thank you for the request. Now it's time to.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and Tom, show yes.

[Tom Griswold]

What have you got?

[Chick McGee]

This is from Yogi. I'd like to ask each of you, Yogi says individual. Were you. Each of you, were you weird before Radio, or did Radio do this to you and make you weird?

[Tom Griswold]

That's a good question.

[Josh Arnold]

That is a good question. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Radio made me weird.

[Chick McGee]

You know, I. Okay. That, you know, you could. That's your answer? I say he and Bob in this place made me weird.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, that's what I meant.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

This isn't radio. No, this isn't better than radio, but

[Tom Griswold]

no, Bob and I were this way all the time.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

I know. I've watched some really old. It's so funny to see you be exactly the same.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's it.

[Tom Griswold]

Bob and I were successful because we had no idea what we were doing. We just came in here and started making each other.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, how can you make fun of me then? I clearly have no idea what I'm doing. And you.

[Tom Griswold]

That's why I hired you.

[Josh Arnold]

You yell at me about it.

[Chick McGee]

Well, now, wait a damn minute. I'm just as stupid as you guys are.

[Pat Godwin]

I just proved I have no idea what I'm doing.

[Chick McGee]

There you go. Wait a second.

[Tom Griswold]

None of us know what we're doing. But I think. Yeah, I think, Christy, you were corrupted by us.

[Christy Lee]

I definitely.

[Josh Arnold]

You can still see the straight news girl trying to get out every now and again.

[Christy Lee]

I used to do journalism.

[Josh Arnold]

Right, right.

[Chick McGee]

I used to do journalism

[Josh Arnold]

whenever. If a listener, Christie will sometimes. Well, that can't be all of the story. That's the real journalism. I remember begging to be heard.

[Tom Griswold]

There have been a handful of occasions in which, for whatever reason, whoever's doing the news is not available. And on a couple of times, I don't know, maybe three or four times, I don't know, we've had local quality newscasters come in and submit. Yeah. And it's really hard on them.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Because they just can't.

[Josh Arnold]

We break all their rules.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

They start reading about someone and we go, yeah, that guy's a total a hole.

[Christy Lee]

No, interrupt me. I'm supposed to do this.

[Josh Arnold]

They should say alleged masturbator.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

We've always been weird.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. We corrupted you.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, that's true. You've always been weird. You've always been weird.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

You, Patty, always been weird.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, Ace, Weird, born unique. There you go. That's very nice, but I'm sorry to tell you, Ace, that's weird. Your form of uniqueness is weird.

[Christy Lee]

I was definitely not weird in high school.

[Chick McGee]

And, oh, I was.

[Christy Lee]

Were you?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, how did you see. Because your husband is. Is anything but weird.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, he's too normal.

[Tom Griswold]

He's normal and he's really nice.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That's why you. That's why you love him. Wait a second. He's the. I just realized something. She loves him because she hates us. Paula, I'm not sure how to take that. Is there a better way to address Andy with this?

[Chick McGee]

There's not a better song than Paula Abdul. Opposites Attract.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there's about 8 billion.

[Josh Arnold]

You mean Paul Abdul and Mc Scat Cat?

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

We should all be on some kind of a version of the most obscure thing. I've always wanted to have a judge every day. What's the most obscure thing said on the show? Yeah, I can win.

[Chick McGee]

It's usually you today. Something about Dwayne Hickman.

[Pat Godwin]

No idea.

[Josh Arnold]

Gobi Gillis, Clue Gulliger.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you know Dwayne Hickman's brother's name?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Griswold]

Daryl.

[Chick McGee]

Morty. Morty Hickman.

[Tom Griswold]

Christy came in this morning and she mentioned Scaramouche. Yes, a character from literature.

[Christy Lee]

They may sound really stupid.

[Tom Griswold]

That is name dropped in the worst song ever written.

[Christy Lee]

I won't say that, but.

[Josh Arnold]

What?

[Chick McGee]

Come on.

[Christy Lee]

Kind of fun.

[Tom Griswold]

It's extremely popular, which is sad, but there was an episode of Spin and Marty entitled Scare a Moochie Boy.

[Josh Arnold]

This is. I don't even know Spin and Marty.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

It was one of those Disney black

[Tom Griswold]

and white Spin offs. They were two young, young boys. They had lived on a ranch.

[Chick McGee]

Anything Can Happen. Day, Roundup Day.

[Tom Griswold]

That's. And it's the most obscure thing I've. It was before my time. I saw it in reruns. That's how old it was.

[Chick McGee]

A dude ranch.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, you can watch it on Disney.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah. You can.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Not a cartoon.

[Christy Lee]

No, it's a black and white show.

[Tom Griswold]

And one of the guys just died, sadly.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, he must have been a thousand.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

The first episode was November 4, 1955.

[Chick McGee]

Tim Considine was Spin.

[Christy Lee]

Final episode, December 9, 1955. What?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, and Spin. Tim was in here.

[Josh Arnold]

But, Christy, you'd be remiss if you didn't mention the New Adventures of Spin and.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's right.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah. This looks. This looks to me. Whenever you talk about your classmates, this is who I picture.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Spin and Marty.

[Chick McGee]

You're right.

[Tom Griswold]

Jim Constein became an expert race guy. Auto racing, motorcycle racer.

[Chick McGee]

Difference between people, expert race guys.

[Christy Lee]

Rich kid Marty is sent to live on a dude ranch after being orphaned

[Chick McGee]

and And a net. Funicello.

[Josh Arnold]

I like the idea. It's a good premise.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Josh Arnold]

Fish out of water.

[Christy Lee]

Well, now this has to be a typo. It lasted more than a month, right?

[Chick McGee]

Harry Carey Jr. Was.

[Tom Griswold]

It'd be the most obscure thing I'd mentioned today.

[Josh Arnold]

This is fairly obscure, but we can get, we can come back with it.

[Al Jackson]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Right now I want to say hi to my buddy Stephen Singer. Stephen did something did me a gigantic favorite just a few months ago. And he can do you a big favor right now. With Mother's Day on the way. Stephen Singer, jeweler extraordinaire. He does something very special for special occasions. He creates a work of art, a rose. And the roses are actually real roses dipped in 24 karat gold. This time around for Mother's Day, it's the sunrise rose. Think about all those moms getting up early, getting their kids ready, getting their men ready, getting whoever ready. That's what they do. Moms are the best. And you can celebrate with jewelry, of course, or with one of these great roses, exclusive to Steven Singer jewelers. You find [e-mail] and I'll tell you one thing, they are in a beautiful gift box and they, they have free shipping. This is unbelievable. Who else has free shipping these days? The answer is nobody. I hate stephensinger.com celebrate those moms. Don't forget the jewelry. You get one of those roses, maybe dangle the atlas bracelet from it. That's Christie's favorite. They also have atlast earrings, atlas necklaces, lots of cool baubles. Is that a good word, Christy?

[Christy Lee]

Yep, that's a great word.

[Tom Griswold]

Check out the catalog with Steven Searing. One of the cool things about that when you go online, all those photographs are folks that work with them. It's not a bunch of fancy bitch faced models going, oh,

[Chick McGee]

Bitch face models. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You ever see these models? They all look so unpacking.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, sure.

[Chick McGee]

It paints a picture.

[Tom Griswold]

You go in some of these jewelry stores and they have people. I'm wearing a $50,000 miserable.

[Josh Arnold]

I was on the COVID of Dower last. I was on the COVID of Gaunt.

[Tom Griswold]

Next year I'm having a sandwich. None of this is really helping Steven, is it? Steven Singer's a great guy. He's got a great rescue dog named Buddy and he's got baubles for dogs too. Check it out. And be sure to mention the Bob and Tom show. That'd be nice. I hate stevensinger.com. don't forget those moms. Mother's Day just around the Corner. As is the Kentucky Derby. Maybe we'll hear about that in sports when we return to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Catch any part of the show you missed later today on our YouTube channel.

[Josh Arnold]

Where is Daredevil?

[Tom Griswold]

I'm right here. Don't miss the return of Marvel Television's Daredevil Born Again.

[Chick McGee]

So what's next?

[Tom Griswold]

I believe liberated.

[Chick McGee]

We're gonna take this city back over

[Pat Godwin]

medicated in an all new season.

[Tom Griswold]

Now streaming only on Disney plus. They're hunting us. It's time we started hunting them.

[Chick McGee]

I can work with them.

[Christy Lee]

This should be tons of fun.

[Tom Griswold]

Marvel Television's Daredevil Born Again now streaming only on Disney. Cast of this show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. It's Christy Lee at the news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

We'll try to get another picture of Christie's swell jacket. That's.

[Christy Lee]

I know you guys hate this jacket, but it's the only thing suitable.

[Josh Arnold]

I like it.

[Christy Lee]

That is cropped and looks good with wide leg jeans. Because of the proportion.

[Josh Arnold]

I think it looks cool.

[Chick McGee]

The word good is subject Pat Godwin.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, Josh Arnold.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

He's at the I Hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby. Howdy, Howdy Doody. I am Chick. And hello to Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

This is Howdy Doody Alicino. We need to get to some more letters here. You can reach us Bob and Tom dot com.

[Josh Arnold]

Heather has a test for us. She says please finish this.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

We did it, Heather. We passed.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Wonder how many of those you can do.

[Chick McGee]

Shave and haircut.

[Josh Arnold]

Sure.

[Chick McGee]

Two bits. That's about it.

[Pat Godwin]

Here she come now singing. Mony Moni.

[Josh Arnold]

Here she come now singing. Then it would be Mony Moani. Right?

[Christy Lee]

I don't mean that.

[Josh Arnold]

What about this one from late 90s, early 2000s? Cut my life in two pieces.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

So many people in their cars.

[Tom Griswold]

Got that again. What was it again?

[Josh Arnold]

Cut my life into pieces.

[Pat Godwin]

This is my last resort.

[Josh Arnold]

No breathing. Don't give up. Cut my arm bleeding.

[Tom Griswold]

I have no idea what you're doing.

[Josh Arnold]

I promise you.

[Tom Griswold]

This is marijuana music.

[Josh Arnold]

80 per marijuana. Well, Papa Roach.

[Pat Godwin]

That's where he. That's what he was thinking.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, you know what? That is what he was thinking? Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Obviously it's a reference to weed.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, the COVID The COVID of the album actually has a roach on it. Like an actual cockroach. So I bet they were referencing that.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no, that's, that's. That's this, though. That's what they're telling the cops. They're telling the cops.

[Chick McGee]

Are you ready?

[Pat Godwin]

Cut my life into pieces.

[Chick McGee]

This is my last resort. Suffocation.

[Pat Godwin]

No breathing.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't give a. Thanks for the edit. I get it.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I don't think he cares for it.

[Tom Griswold]

A little early. That got the hook early, didn't it?

[Chick McGee]

Well, now maybe we could go over Paul Lynn'.

[Tom Griswold]

Now. What is this? Another one of those. That. That's a great. Which one did she just do? The. The request. Yeah, there are. There are a lot of those where almost everybody can do the.

[Chick McGee]

Give me that. Dang. Give me that, give me that. Give me, give me, give me that.

[Tom Griswold]

Give me that thing.

[Josh Arnold]

Give me that. Give me, give me that.

[Tom Griswold]

But I mean, we're a little short burst of notes and you all, you. Everyone knows the response, the call and response. There's a really good one in the world of disco, but I'm forgetting what it is. Give me a minute, I'll come up with it. Let's get to our next letter.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, what about this? This happens in Pee Wee's Big Adventure.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

The stars at night are big and bright.

[Tom Griswold]

Bum, bum, bum, bum.

[Chick McGee]

Deep in the heart of Texas.

[Josh Arnold]

That's how he proves he's in Texas. When he just yells that and everyone does it.

[Chick McGee]

They all participate. Dear Bob and Top Show. Good morning, gang.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

Nobody picked up on the fact that you mentioned Diane Cannon and Jack Warden were both in Heaven Can Wait. I believe I said Jack Warden was in Heaven Can Wait. But you did.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Warren Beatty, of course, and Julie Christie, also in Heaven Can Wait. And Chick, of course. James Mason played Mr. Jordan, I believe.

[Tom Griswold]

James Mason. James is Quadradic.

[Chick McGee]

Congratulations.

[Tom Griswold]

2000 Leagues under the Sea.

[Chick McGee]

You've joined the Two Marriage Club. Welcome. Welcome to the club. Scott from Midland, Michigan, I believe that's in the middle of Michigan.

[Tom Griswold]

I have relatives there.

[Chick McGee]

No kidding.

[Tom Griswold]

Whole bunch of them.

[Chick McGee]

Like honest relatives.

[Christy Lee]

A whole bunch of them. You never talk about your relatives.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, well, he's been ostracized.

[Tom Griswold]

They're all dead,

[Christy Lee]

so they're in a cemetery in Midlands.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, okay. This is for you, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

This is from Ken. Something to make Tom boast a little. Last week, a Brink's truck was robbed north of Cincinnati while parked at a store.

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, geez. Your worst night.

[Tom Griswold]

If I pull up into a store.

[Christy Lee]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

And there's a brink struck there. Or whatever. I will not go in. I drive away safe.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, well, now you.

[Tom Griswold]

Because, well. And he's asking for trouble.

[Chick McGee]

Clear thinking American would do exactly the same thing. I'm sure.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And then. And every year we get the story about a Brinks or what? Not necessarily. What's the other company that does that? Someone will leave the door open. They'll drive away thousands of dollars fly out.

[Christy Lee]

That seems like a.

[Tom Griswold]

When they put like a Velcro strap on it just in case anything like

[Chick McGee]

it does seem like.

[Christy Lee]

Like a big curtain.

[Chick McGee]

You know how they have doors to Brinks? Trucks do fly open. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe like a second door inside. I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm not a genius, baby. Open. Open it.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. Dear Bob and Tom show. This is from Joe, Bet Jo, bet your mama. J O B E T. Joe Bette. You can milk a cobra, but you need a special set of tweezers because their nipples are so small.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that's good to know. Yeah, yeah, you got to be.

[Tom Griswold]

That comes in the context of a German tourist, died in Egypt last week. He was at a snake show and the so called snake charmer was dangling cobras around the necks of the people in the audience. And one of them slithered up this guy's pants.

[Christy Lee]

They did it on purpose. They let the snake slither up his

[Tom Griswold]

pant leg and it killed him and it bit him.

[Chick McGee]

Well, we got a couple of announcements. First of all, we don't know how we're gonna stop getting the cobras from biting people. Maybe not hang them around their necks. That's a good idea.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, we could start there.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

If I'm in Egypt, you get up in the morning. Okay, today's options. Cobra show or pyramids.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I'm going.

[Josh Arnold]

Haven't seen all the pyramids.

[Pat Godwin]

Pyramids, please.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what the guy's last words were? The German guy's last words after he got bit by the cobra at the snake show.

[Chick McGee]

I'd like my money back.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up. Yeah, we have some sporting news. Oh, real quick, a really nice letter.

[Chick McGee]

A world record.

[Tom Griswold]

I heard Joe Dombrowski on your show so I went to look up his YouTube special, dad on Arrival. It was great. Thanks for introducing me to him. Welcome Joe Dombrowski. Dad on arrival is the special. It's on YouTube. We talked to Joe the other day and he is a new papa.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And he's so funny. I highly recommend that it's on the YouTube. Now we will return to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom show.

[Announcer]

Add to or continue the conversation. Check out the Bob and Tom show on Facebook. Get the [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm. You know, those friends who support your preference for podcasts over music on road trips. That's the energy State Farm brings to insurance. With over 19,000 local agents, they help you find the coverage that fits your

[Tom Griswold]

needs so you can spend less time

[Chick McGee]

worrying about insurance and more time enjoying the ride. Download the State Farm app or go [e-mail] like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. There's the wonderful, delightful Christy Lee at the news desk.

[Christy Lee]

No, don't. You ate me. I know.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, don't.

[Chick McGee]

No, no.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I know.

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Not necessarily you. It's the people. There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Chick, you've always said morning show. New shows aren't like this.

[Chick McGee]

No. And.

[Josh Arnold]

And they shouldn't be if one is. I think it would be wildly popular.

[Chick McGee]

I think it would be too.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, now we go to the dumbass in front of the weather map.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, you called it wrong yesterday, Loris, again.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I was tired. I was with your wife the night before.

[Chick McGee]

Hilarious.

[Josh Arnold]

Who was wouldn't watch that?

[Chick McGee]

I have one. I. I do weather, of course. And I had all those sticky sunshines and clouds and I have a pointer. Oh, yes. Yeah. Why can't we do that?

[Christy Lee]

Tom, do you remember when they had to write on their maps? They'd have to go in and make their maps. This was a long time ago.

[Chick McGee]

I know, but you remember a guy by the name of weather guy, Ira Joe Fisher, worked in Cincinnati. He could write backwards.

[Christy Lee]

It's incredible.

[Chick McGee]

He would write the forecast on a see through weather map.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, wow. Yeah, it was great.

[Christy Lee]

And then he was right. They'd have the stick ons and be sunny.

[Josh Arnold]

I remember the stick ons. And it was a physical. It was actually a tangible thing.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

It wasn't on a screen.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but you know, then. Much better now.

[Doug Bowles]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

That's pretty amazing.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

TV news in the morning. A lot of nodding. Yes, yes.

[Josh Arnold]

But the weather, the weather, technology.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There'll be rain at your house in seven minutes. That's kind of hard to be.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they pretty much got it. I remember the. But remember the. When they used to have the weather radar wars?

[Josh Arnold]

I know. What was that?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, they would go, you know, at Channel 7, our weather radar can take their weather radar and Take it in the backyard and teach it who's boss.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, they would go now equipped with whatever it was. Yeah. The only. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

The other guys are over here. We've got the real weather.

[Chick McGee]

It was. I don't think they ever said anything.

[Tom Griswold]

That was the implication though.

[Josh Arnold]

Watch channel 19. They've got a shaman outside looking up at the clouds. We've actually

[Chick McGee]

consulted.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, by the way, if you think that's his real hair, you're kidding yourself. How can you believe his forecast when he's wearing that rug?

[Chick McGee]

Let's see, who wants to have a Kentucky Derby horse name?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, you found a generator for us.

[Chick McGee]

I have a Kentucky Derby horse name generator. First name.

[Tom Griswold]

What is this, 154th?

[Chick McGee]

Have they been doing this last initial? Do we want to use Christy Lee? Huh? And here. Oh, wait a minute. Okay, here's your Kentucky Derby horse name. Midnight Promise.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, that's a good one.

[Josh Arnold]

That is good.

[Christy Lee]

I like that.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Uranus. She made me a Midnight promise.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's see the Midnight Promise. Just the tip, I believe is the.

[Christy Lee]

It's the 152nd running.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, I was close.

[Chick McGee]

Josh Arnold, majestic Oracle.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow, it's a little. It's a tad clunky.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, really?

[Tom Griswold]

What is this based on? I'm sorry, this is not based on anything.

[Chick McGee]

They just put in Tom and then your initial of your last name, G. And generate cosmic glory.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, wow, that's not bad.

[Josh Arnold]

Can I change mine to majestic orifice?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, do whatever you want.

[Chick McGee]

Please. All right.

[Doug Bowles]

Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

Here, let's go with backdoor entry. Just go with that.

[Josh Arnold]

Let's get right to it.

[Chick McGee]

Pat Godwin is Silver Monarch. That's.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that's really good.

[Chick McGee]

That's darned perfect.

[Pat Godwin]

I come from kings and I got the silver hair.

[Chick McGee]

There you go. What do you think of that?

[Tom Griswold]

All right. Very.

[Chick McGee]

That simple.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that means it's. Does it mean it's time for sports?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, what's chicksters?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I did mine off here, but now I've forgotten what it was. Chick. And what's name are we using? Okay, I'll do that one. And my horse name is Ruthless Thunder.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, that's great.

[Chick McGee]

How about that, huh?

[Josh Arnold]

Ace Cosby.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I shut the half Black Beauty. Oh, how about that? See we much better to speculate what it would be than actually don't need

[Josh Arnold]

to generate it when you got a yes.

[Chick McGee]

And speaking to that.

[Christy Lee]

Wow, my horse is back. It's up to 6 to 1 odds.

[Josh Arnold]

The actual one you're betting on.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. So happy.

[Chick McGee]

What's the name of the I know you're excited, but what's the name of the horse?

[Christy Lee]

So Happy?

[Chick McGee]

No, no, no.

[Josh Arnold]

Goes without saying, but this is really annoying.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm pissed already. So we move on.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and Tom show. Yes, please, please, please. Can we have more of Josh and Chicken talking like old centerfolds from Playboy? I think you mean these two lovely ladies. Yes, Daphne and

[Josh Arnold]

Millicent.

[Tom Griswold]

That's right.

[Josh Arnold]

I would tell you about the time I deflowered a young Ronnie Howard.

[Chick McGee]

I have not heard that story.

[Tom Griswold]

You were a setterfold in the 50s, apparently. Oh, yes, yes.

[Chick McGee]

The 1850s. It's a joke. We do.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Do you smoke after sex?

[Chick McGee]

I don't know. I haven't looked.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, thank you.

[Josh Arnold]

We know them all.

[Tom Griswold]

Dear Bob and Top show, My wife and I went to see Nate Bargazzi last night in Colorado Springs. Greg Warren was the host. He was amazing. Really funny. That's very nice. Always loved your show. Thank you very much, Scott.

[Josh Arnold]

That is a heck of a show.

[Chick McGee]

Warren does a good another.

[Tom Griswold]

I enjoy listening to Joe Domrowski on your show. Writes Thad in Canal Winchester, Ohio.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah. The suburb of Columbus, Ohio. Winchester.

[Tom Griswold]

Dad on Arrival is Joe's special. We talked with Joe the other day. Dad on Arrival is on YouTube.

[Josh Arnold]

Why don't we watch that from 8 to 9 this morning?

[Chick McGee]

We could just turn the mic and

[Tom Griswold]

there might be some legal ramifications. Oh, dear Bob and Tom show. I was happy eating my lunch of homemade meatloaf yesterday.

[Josh Arnold]

Nice.

[Tom Griswold]

When you did the story about the woman giving birth on the airplane.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah. I may have said, listen.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I remember then this. Let's see, she was in landing. They were about to land in Portland.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. She was on a Delta flight and she gave birth just before.

[Tom Griswold]

On the plane.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

That's like a placenta conversation.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. Well, I said that they only let her make a smoothie out of half the placenta. See, the old half a coke joke on the plane.

[Christy Lee]

You know, placenta was.

[Tom Griswold]

And then I said, how? I don't really remember. I should know this. I've been around it a couple times. How big is the placenta? And Josh opined about the size of

[Josh Arnold]

a meatloaf because we had a picture of a placenta in anatomy book one year and I thought it looked like an uncooked meatloaf.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, Hillary writes I had to put my sandwich down and I was finished with my lunch.

[Chick McGee]

You're supposed to hold the placenta up to check to see if there's any holes or anything. Or tears. It looks like a Grateful Dead T shirt kinda.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Purpley and red.

[Chick McGee]

All sorts of.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, it's just blood vessels, isn't it?

[Chick McGee]

I think.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, primarily. But. I'm sorry, what is her name? Hillary.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, Hillary.

[Christy Lee]

Usually after the baby comes, you don't. You're looking at the baby, you're not looking at the placenta. That's part of.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I would imagine so.

[Christy Lee]

And a doctor does that. You're just kind of.

[Josh Arnold]

You think a doctor's ever made a mistake? Good news, the baby's here. Bad news, ugliest sin. Oh, I'm holding the placenta.

[Tom Griswold]

Whoops.

[Chick McGee]

Would you like to hear the horses in the Kentucky?

[Josh Arnold]

If I were me, I would make. If I were a doctor.

[Chick McGee]

I'll take that as a no.

[Josh Arnold]

I would make a lot of jokes if I were like, is it an obstetrician that gives the. That helps with the birth?

[Chick McGee]

Ob gyn.

[Christy Lee]

Obg.

[Josh Arnold]

Good news, it's a girl. Bad news is she has a very big penis, but we can cut that right off.

[Chick McGee]

That's fun.

[Christy Lee]

My OB GYN had no sense of humor.

[Josh Arnold]

Do new mothers appreciate this? Sort of.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Now we have to move forward here.

[Chick McGee]

What do you think the stats are? The new mother, when they're giving birth, they have a bathroom there on the end.

[Josh Arnold]

I hear it's common.

[Christy Lee]

They have what?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, very common.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, to go to the bathroom at the same time because it feels like you're the same. I did not have that issue.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. I did.

[Pat Godwin]

I went to the bathroom.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. I knew he'd make him happy. There's very little difference between giving birth to a baby.

[Josh Arnold]

I know a woman.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't put that in the incubator. That's just a very large.

[Chick McGee]

Don't. Don't hold it up.

[Tom Griswold]

Could we move forward, please? I've been trying to change the subject all morning. Dear Bob and Tom show. Tom talked about getting his new wife a jump rope rope for Chris. Okay. Yeah, I. I got her a jump rope lesson.

[Chick McGee]

Hang on a second. How young is she?

[Tom Griswold]

She wanted to jump rope lessons, which I. I got her for Christmas.

[Josh Arnold]

She wanted it.

[Christy Lee]

I don't believe that.

[Tom Griswold]

So, yeah, she's very athletic. She'd never learned how to jump rope.

[Christy Lee]

I know. She's very athletic.

[Pat Godwin]

So you told Kelly to exercise. That was your.

[Christy Lee]

That was exercises every day, you know,

[Chick McGee]

Now, Tom, I don't want to.

[Tom Griswold]

So I. I found a lady that teaches jump rope lessons.

[Josh Arnold]

I think that's a nice gift. It's something. He listened. He what? Kelly was Talking about.

[Tom Griswold]

And there was also. Let me just say thank you to Stephen Singer. There may have been something.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You could probably jump rope with that had diamonds on it.

[Chick McGee]

I don't want to be too intrusive here, Tom, but I've heard that Kelly is very athletic. Is that true? Because you haven't mentioned anything about it.

[Tom Griswold]

You say that a lot. I'm not trying to imply that.

[Chick McGee]

Well, I got you a drop rope.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you put down your sandwich?

[Josh Arnold]

I jumped up with sausage links.

[Tom Griswold]

The point is, I'm setting this up.

[Chick McGee]

What is the point?

[Tom Griswold]

Matthew writes two words for the jump rope story you had yesterday. Now, the story was. Was this your story, Josh? With the guy in the restroom.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah. A listener wrote in, said this was an odd. Some situation. And he was in a public bathroom and there was a jump rope hanging from the coat hanger. A man came in and said, excuse me, is there a jump rope in there? And he said, there is. And he gave it to him and the guy just left. I'm definitely paraphrasing, but that's what I was.

[Chick McGee]

That was a letter.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

But there was a jump rope on the hook inside the door of the stall in the bathroom. Very odd situation. This guy says two words. David Carradine.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no. You know, we did not hypothesize that.

[Christy Lee]

But no, not in a public bathroom.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you, Matthew.

[Josh Arnold]

A public bathroom said, Christ.

[Chick McGee]

Any part of you that's like a little curious about.

[Christy Lee]

I was.

[Tom Griswold]

Not at all.

[Josh Arnold]

And would you like to hear one of the more awkward things that's ever happened to me in my life?

[Chick McGee]

It must be great, though.

[Josh Arnold]

I was at my grandparents and we were watching the news and there was a story about somebody who had done that. It wasn't David Carradine. Autoerotic asphyxiation. And the news person said this. They were self pleasuring and they died because they were choking themselves. And my grandfather turned to me and said, you've never tried that, have you? And I wanted to set myself on

[Tom Griswold]

fire because that would have hurt less.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God, man.

[Josh Arnold]

And I went, no, Grandpa, I haven't.

[Tom Griswold]

Wasn't that how the In Excess guy left?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. My.

[Josh Arnold]

There's some debate.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

But yes, that's the story.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

He was so hot. What a sad thing.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. If he'd have been ugly.

[Christy Lee]

No, I didn't say it that way.

[Tom Griswold]

At least he had the luxury of coming and going at the same time.

[Christy Lee]

We don't know that.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

He may not have fallen short.

[Josh Arnold]

All we do know is he was well Hanged. Oh, hung. But which is it?

[Tom Griswold]

In that case, it's hanged.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, we're laughing at some awful, awful

[Tom Griswold]

things and it's my fault.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no.

[Chick McGee]

Derby horses.

[Josh Arnold]

Let's.

[Tom Griswold]

So let's get this show on the

[Chick McGee]

road here, whether you like it or not.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, we have some pretty cool stuff going on in the world, some fun things. For example, if you suffer from AFIB atrial fibrillation, there may be something new in that world. You're gonna be quite surprised with both what it is and when they do it to you. Brand new, we have a couple interesting stories about bodily smells from the ladies and how it relates to the men with respect to body odor, not gaseous emissions. We also have a world record and an update on the Escobar Hippos. Yet another.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I thought you were doing an ice cream commercial. New Escobars, chocolate with caramel.

[Tom Griswold]

They could better be a way to raise money. Yeah, Hippo shaped Escobar Escobars. Just a hint of cocaine. Now let's talk about money for just a second here. American Financing, what is that? American Financing is the home for home loans. And you've probably heard for whatever reason, most homes in America are worth a lot more than they were just a few years ago. But you don't have to sell your house to take advantage of the fact that it's worth a lot more. Maybe you want to pay off some of those credit cards where you're paying 20% interest. Maybe you want a new kitchen. Maybe you want to do some work on the house, whatever it might be. American Financing specializes in doing a refi, refinancing the property and taking advantage of all that equity you've got in it. And what you do is you give them a call and in about 10 minutes they can tell you if they can help you out. For example, here's some stats. Right now their average client is saving about 800 bucks a month on their payment. Also, they have a thing going on right now that might even delay your next two mortgage payments. So if you're kind of underwater, this is a pretty cool thing. So find out if your situation fits this by contacting American Financing. You can do that by phone. [phone]. Much easier to remember this American financing.net talk to one of the folks there in about 10 minutes. Like I said, they can tell you if your situation is, is suitable for doing a refi. And the do what you want with that cash. Like I said, perhaps pay off Those high interest 20% plus interest. Credit card things that are hanging over your head. For more information, American Financing.net NMLS 182334 NMLSConsumerAccess.org APR for rates in the five started 6.327%. For well qualified borrowers. Call 866-889-2611. For details about credit costs and terms, visit AmericanFinancing.net BobandTom Average savings based on borrowers who save over one

[Christy Lee]

tomorrow morning is knocking. Stock your fridge now. How about a creamy mocha Frappuccino drink? Or a sweet vanilla smooth caramel maybe? Or white chocolate mocha? Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits. Find Starbucks Frappuccino drinks wherever you buy your groceries.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios at the News Center. It's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello, Chick. Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

He's over there at the I Hate Steven Singer sidekick chair.

[Josh Arnold]

Indeed.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby, Mr. McGee boy. Thank you, Ace. I am Chick McGee. I have a bone to pick with someone. I'm not sure who. And here's Tom. Would you like to hear, Tom?

[Tom Griswold]

Go ahead.

[Chick McGee]

I noticed, you know, I have quite the sweet tooth.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Is there a reason or am I reading too much into this? Or am I being paranoid or. I just need an answer to this. We've all of a sudden we're up to our necks in Werther's original hard candy in the break room. Now, does that speak to the fact that I'm over 65 or what do you think, Tom? Should I take this person?

[Tom Griswold]

I will say this. Werther's is.

[Chick McGee]

They're amazing.

[Tom Griswold]

It's very good. And it's become kind of a hack joke.

[Josh Arnold]

Right?

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

About Werther's being for the old.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but. But it's delightful. You should try it.

[Josh Arnold]

They're delicious at any age.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, they're delicious. But I took it as a slap in the face.

[Tom Griswold]

Right, but it's one of those things, like people who make fun of Nickelback because they think you're supposed to.

[Josh Arnold]

Sure. We've talked on this show, though, about how Werther's needs to do a rebranding because 15 year olds love Werther's, 32 year old love Werther's, or they're afraid

[Christy Lee]

to try Werther's because they think it'll make.

[Josh Arnold]

So maybe this is part of the whole rebranding effort.

[Chick McGee]

Well, what happens here Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe we need to do a rebranding.

[Christy Lee]

See, now you have hard candy in your mouth and you can't talk.

[Chick McGee]

Well, it has two thumbs and no, four. There's this guy.

[Josh Arnold]

Did. Did somebody. Do we know if somebody sent us Werther's or were they purchased by our green room? They were purchased. Okay.

[Chick McGee]

I think we were talking. Someone knew. No, someone knew exactly what they were doing, and it's at least a slight.

[Josh Arnold]

She's shaking her head and saying that's not the case.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, well, we'll see about that.

[Tom Griswold]

They are delightful and delicious. Let's move forward here.

[Christy Lee]

Do they soft chew, the Werther's people?

[Josh Arnold]

They do.

[Chick McGee]

Oh. And how would you know that, Josh?

[Josh Arnold]

My grandmother got those for a while, and they were equally as delicious.

[Chick McGee]

They would look like they would be just a nightmare for a set of dentures.

[Josh Arnold]

I think that's why she got them.

[Tom Griswold]

She.

[Josh Arnold]

She had false teeth.

[Chick McGee]

The soft she.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, you know what? She did have false teeth, but she went with the soft shoes. Maybe she had them before she put the teeth in.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe that's how she glued them on. Could we move on?

[Chick McGee]

Here's the Kentucky Derby odds now. Chrissy, you're betting so happy.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

That's a 6 to 1.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. It was 15 to 1 yesterday. What happened?

[Chick McGee]

I believe maybe you started talking about maybe. Maybe. Want to talk the long shots. That's 49 to 1, Pavlovian.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, good name.

[Josh Arnold]

So I hope.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, very good.

[Chick McGee]

Six Speed.

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Chick McGee]

Six Speed is the name now.

[Josh Arnold]

I thought six Speed horses were banned from the race.

[Christy Lee]

Is there a show called Six Speed and Gun Shoe or something?

[Tom Griswold]

Ten Speed and Gun Shoe. I'm sorry. Brown shoe. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Six speed is 45 to 1 in intrepido or Intrepido or I N T R E P I D O.

[Tom Griswold]

Probably Intrepido, wouldn't you think?

[Josh Arnold]

I'm a big, big fan of that horse. You might say I'm an Intrepid.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no, no. Wait, stop. Pat, could you play an introduction to this joke, please? Sure. Something just setting up the importance. Something with some gravitas.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome to humor in the Kentucky Derby.

[Josh Arnold]

Here's.

[Tom Griswold]

What's the name of the horse, Chick?

[Josh Arnold]

Intrepidil. Intrepidil and I have followed this horse since it was a young foal. Is that right? And I know a lot about it. So much so that people call me an Intrepidophile.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Chick McGee]

My. I'm not. I was not doing that for the camera. My mouth fell Open.

[Christy Lee]

I did not see that.

[Josh Arnold]

Was it better or worse than you thought it was going to be?

[Chick McGee]

Much worse. Much worse.

[Josh Arnold]

Humor wise or offensiveness wise?

[Chick McGee]

Offensive.

[Tom Griswold]

It was excellent.

[Chick McGee]

Excellent.

[Tom Griswold]

Because.

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

It had a built in. I was thinking it was going a different direction.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And as short as the setup was very, very well done. It's hard to have something distracting and taking you one way, then you come in, swoop in from the other side.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, thank you, you. I appreciate that. And that's the sort of analysis I insist on receiving.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you pronounce it? Intrepidophile.

[Josh Arnold]

Intrepidophile.

[Tom Griswold]

Intrapet. See, that's the key. You nailed it. I got it wrong. That's the beauty of that joke. Any other?

[Chick McGee]

No. And then they've got.

[Tom Griswold]

Is there a similar horse of a similar ilk?

[Al Jackson]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Called They've got a Horse.

[Tom Griswold]

Epstein's middle school friend.

[Chick McGee]

I like the horse name Commandment 7 to 1. How about that? That seems kind of nice and fat.

[Josh Arnold]

That is a good name.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. The Puma.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, he's got to be fast.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, you don't often get a horse with the. Do you.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that legal?

[Christy Lee]

The Puma.

[Chick McGee]

That's what it. That's how he's listed.

[Josh Arnold]

I like it because the horse is clearly not a Puma.

[Chick McGee]

Well, yeah. Get a load of this. The other. There's another horse.

[Tom Griswold]

If they. They'd made it the dog food. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a bad sign.

[Tom Griswold]

Stay away.

[Chick McGee]

This horse is named Dannon. Bourbon. Not Dannon. Yogurt. D A, N, O, N. Urban.

[Tom Griswold]

Aren't the names developed from the horses that sire, etc. Don't they have to have some connection to them?

[Chick McGee]

Well, it's a very long and complicated process, fellow earthlings. And what you need to do is.

[Josh Arnold]

He is right. I remember Ocean Bomb 1 was of course a descendant of Seabiscuit.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah. There's a horse named Wonder Dean.

[Christy Lee]

Now that was funny.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, it was cuter and I know you appreciate that.

[Chick McGee]

Wonder Dean is 20 to 1. Incredibolt.

[Tom Griswold]

Incredibolt 371 now is Usain Colt.

[Josh Arnold]

That's great.

[Chick McGee]

That's a great running. This year I want to buy a horse and name it Usain Cole.

[Tom Griswold]

How about. What was the one from Russia? A Leon Trotsky.

[Chick McGee]

Let's see. Six speed is 45 to 1. Further ado is 7 to 1. Potente franca potente.

[Tom Griswold]

Where's our Claymation?

[Chick McGee]

Claymation is a late scratch.

[Tom Griswold]

He's a mudder. He likes the. Likes the wet track.

[Chick McGee]

Man, I'd never.

[Tom Griswold]

Last year I lost 50 bucks. I bet on runs like your dad.

[Christy Lee]

Dad?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah, that's.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, he was. Yeah, but he was lost by a nose to arthritic Caucasian.

[Chick McGee]

Five to one is Renegade. Six to one. So happy. Seven to one. The Puma. Those are your favorites. I get further ado. 7 to 1. So those are your favorites.

[Tom Griswold]

Wasn't there one last year called named Pony Danza? Or am I hallucinating?

[Christy Lee]

Pony Danza.

[Tom Griswold]

Pony Danza.

[Chick McGee]

The. Heads up on Mr. There's a horse named Mr. Hobbyist out there who runs every now and then.

[Pat Godwin]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

School?

[Christy Lee]

That is cool.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, he runs about as often as their new Mr. Hobbyist. Show what happens.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a break a leg in the main race.

[Chick McGee]

Can somebody explain that to me? Why do they have to. Yeah, let's not.

[Christy Lee]

Let's not go there, okay?

[Chick McGee]

Well, I mean, can't they just.

[Tom Griswold]

How about. Remember the horse? Remember the horse we owned, Mr. Oedipus.

[Josh Arnold]

Ah, yes.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I remember.

[Tom Griswold]

It was weird. He ended up having a child with his mom.

[Josh Arnold]

It was kind of sick. Yeah,

[Tom Griswold]

man.

[Chick McGee]

Where were we?

[Tom Griswold]

How about the. How about the. The Black Scallion? That was a scaly.

[Chick McGee]

Mickey Rooney was in that, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. The Black Stallion.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Was he?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, with Elizabeth Taylor. Right.

[Tom Griswold]

They made a. You see that National. Did you see the porno Kentucky Derby?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no, I didn't.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Black booty, Black booty.

[Josh Arnold]

Black booty bambalam.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, black booty bam.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, look what time it is, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Stupid world record.

[Chick McGee]

I hope we have the accompanying video on this. So you got this all squared away, Tom?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I asked Jason.

[Chick McGee]

I have. David Rush has broken the Guinness World Record record. Pay attention. This is pretty involved.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

The longest time to keep five balloons simultaneously in the air by a team of two.

[Josh Arnold]

By the way, that's a horse race in the Kentucky Derby. David Rush's sobbing children.

[Chick McGee]

Pretty good.

[Tom Griswold]

My daddy's not home again. He's breaking a world record now. His kids are. Now they're helping him out.

[Chick McGee]

Of course, Rush teamed up with Alex Gosh to tackle the the record. With a minimum time to beat of 10 minutes, Rush and Gosh managed to keep all five balloons in the air for 16 minutes 25 seconds to claim the time.

[Tom Griswold]

Do they check these for helium?

[Christy Lee]

Spinning with balloons, Right?

[Tom Griswold]

You just have to keep them in the air.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, this is a game. Anybody?

[Pat Godwin]

Anybody?

[Tom Griswold]

The record they had they beat was held by two six year olds on a rainy day in Denver. They were born.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, you throw a balloon in this Room. I bet it won't touch the ground for hours.

[Tom Griswold]

Look, they're in a handball court.

[Pat Godwin]

Come on, now.

[Josh Arnold]

How many they got going on there? Six? Five.

[Pat Godwin]

Two guys.

[Josh Arnold]

Five.

[Tom Griswold]

So one guy's just got to keep two balloons up. That really can't be that tough.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, you know what? It gets a little challenging. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, look at this. There you go.

[Pat Godwin]

They're getting sloppy.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you imagine how pissed the guys that want to play.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

Want to play racquetball? Want to play racquetball? That day in these two balls are

[Josh Arnold]

going to be out of the way.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, you've been in there for three hours.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, boy. Can we get these guys out of there? I gotta land the Shaffer deal and.

[Tom Griswold]

You're working on the Shaffer deal?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Boy, two and a half years of my life.

[Christy Lee]

I gotta let this guy be.

[Josh Arnold]

Balloon queers are gonna spoil it for me.

[Chick McGee]

I see the Boar of the Year competition is going on in the racquetball, of course. There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that's fun.

[Chick McGee]

And that's sports.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I think we could do that. What do you mean? That's sports?

[Chick McGee]

That's sports.

[Tom Griswold]

Where's your NBA hunk? Where's your Major League Baseball?

[Chick McGee]

I talked to you about it. I did it. We did it. Good luck.

[Tom Griswold]

We got it. The Pistons won. Oh, they're still in it.

[Chick McGee]

Finally. The Pistons did win. They haven't been eliminated yet.

[Josh Arnold]

Are we talking about the former champs of basketball?

[Tom Griswold]

You mean the Detroit Pistons?

[Josh Arnold]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

The Detroit Pistons, former champs of basketball. I have so many souvenirs, it's hard to list them all. Count them up. I have piston pants. I have piston shorts. I have piston beer mods. Sometimes people don't even notice. I have piston ashtrays. I have piston shoes. I have piston baskets. Basketballs. When I dribble, they do too.

[Josh Arnold]

Little Timmy Kavanaugh, ladies and gentlemen, I've always admired. Even I had that on the cd, whatever CD that's on.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

And I would listen to it and enjoy it. And I always admired the chick. If you listen closely, is the first to understand what's going on.

[Chick McGee]

Is that right?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that's.

[Josh Arnold]

Often you give a right after he says piston pants.

[Chick McGee]

Piston pants. Yeah, that's right.

[Tom Griswold]

I want to hear that. Let me.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, okay. Yeah. Anything. We could play it again. The Detroit Pistons, former champs of basketball. I have so many souvenirs, it's hard to list them all. I have piston pants. I have piston shorts.

[Josh Arnold]

And I remember thinking, oh, that's. That's somebody who's Comedically savvy.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Josh Arnold]

A new immediate.

[Chick McGee]

Because it would have taken me savvy

[Josh Arnold]

two or three, maybe. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Took me three.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

But I'm not savvy.

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, you are, but.

[Christy Lee]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Chick McGee]

Don't. Don't sell her short. Let her run with this.

[Tom Griswold]

Pat. When we come back, don't you have a parody of the. Of a pair of a satire that's absolutely knockoff.

[Chick McGee]

No, that's not the case at all. This is an entirely original new song.

[Tom Griswold]

It is. Oh, when we come back, I'd love to hear that.

[Doug Bowles]

Right.

[Pat Godwin]

I'll try to think.

[Chick McGee]

I'm gonna have a word, you guys, to do something else.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

God, these are great, man.

[Tom Griswold]

Should we work on doing the. The rebrand for who Would you. What actress or actor would you have become their spokesman?

[Chick McGee]

Sydney Sweeney to you.

[Tom Griswold]

To youth it up a little, dude.

[Josh Arnold]

You see Sydney Sweeney unwrapping Werther's and putting in her mouth and start sucking on it.

[Tom Griswold]

Unwrapping it with her hands.

[Josh Arnold]

What else? I mean, if she could unwrap it with her ass cheeks.

[Chick McGee]

How about this? You put it down her cleavage and she tongues it out and puts it in her mouth.

[Tom Griswold]

No, she doesn't tug it out. You got some. Who's. Who's the actor from Marty Supreme.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, Timothee Chalamet.

[Pat Godwin]

I get that champagne.

[Josh Arnold]

You get. Why do you want a man involved in this? You.

[Tom Griswold]

Because as a heterosexual man. Josh. I'll explain what it's like.

[Chick McGee]

You have Burn, Josh, burn.

[Tom Griswold]

You have Timothy Chalamet lick that thing out of her cleavage. And then he takes it. Goes like. And then he offers it.

[Chick McGee]

Man, do not ever.

[Josh Arnold]

You have taken a wonderful ad idea and made it just filthy.

[Chick McGee]

You and your mouth make disgusting noises.

[Tom Griswold]

You could have. You could have. Or you could have them sitting in bed. Both sitting up. Clearly. You know, she's.

[Chick McGee]

She's. No, no, no.

[Tom Griswold]

He.

[Chick McGee]

He felt the need to say after they're both setting. Sitting in bed, you know, sitting up.

[Tom Griswold]

And then she's puffing away at a cigarette, and he goes, I don't smoke. I take. Were those originals? After I've, you know, done the plumbing, done the horrible mambo. You don't think the Werther's folks are going to go for this?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry. When we come back, we'll get the show back on track. We've got some pretty cool stuff. If you check out the Bob and Tom website, I certainly urge you to do so. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

This is the Bob and Tom Show. Reach us toll free at 1-88-8-BOB-TOM-TOM1 [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know if you knew this,

[Tom Griswold]

but anyone can get the same premium

[Chick McGee]

wireless for 15amonth plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities.

[Tom Griswold]

So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3

[Christy Lee]

month plan equivalent to $15 per month. Required intro rate, first 3 months only. Then full options available, taxes and fees, extra fee. Full [e-mail].

[Chick McGee]

hey, welcome back to the Bottom Top show in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios at the news desk. Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, sir.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, sir. There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, man. There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

The I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom. How's things going over there?

[Tom Griswold]

Good. We're working on trying to. To.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

You were discussing the. Someone has loaded our green room, our canteen, if you will, with. With Werther's Originals Candy hard butterscotch. Which you thought might be somehow suggesting that we're old.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, the.

[Chick McGee]

It can't be taken any other way.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but I think Josh had the right idea. Werther's Caddies are delightful. Yes, and I think it's time for a new generation to discover them. We have to figure out the ad campaign.

[Chick McGee]

I think we have it with Sydney Sweeney sucking on him. Are you crazy?

[Tom Griswold]

Is that hip enough?

[Josh Arnold]

I'm worried that that would be the jumping of jumping the shark for Sydney Sweeney. She's kind of already. Yeah, she's close to being overexposed. And I don't. It's not a pun, but.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

So who else could we go with?

[Christy Lee]

This latest euphoria has really put her.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know about this Chapel Roan character.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I don't know about that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Even Taylor Swift. What if. You know, what if she.

[Tom Griswold]

What does she. What would she do with the extra billion dollars she would charge?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I think Taylor's got so much money now that she's doing things for free.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Chick McGee]

That's exactly what I heard.

[Josh Arnold]

Sometimes you become so rich that you just go, you know, I'm doing everything for free.

[Chick McGee]

From now on. Money's lost.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe not somebody famous. Maybe just like, some young lady with green hair and nose rings and.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, why not? It could be a montage almost, of younger people.

[Tom Griswold]

And, like, she goes I to her boyfriend, who's got, like, spikes in his hair and all kinds of stuff, and she. You ate the last Werthers. I guess you don't really love me. You know, like, like, like, like goth, punk rock love.

[Josh Arnold]

What about this? Do you guys like this idea? A sweet old lady goes into her counter, and maybe it's some sepia tones. Maybe, you know, the sun is. And she reaches into her candy jar, and my gosh, if it ain't empty. In fact, there are a couple empty. There are a couple wrappers of Werther's originals. And she says, who keeps taking. These are for me. Who keeps taking my Werther's? And then it cuts to a basement or a closet, and there are three younger, like her grandkids, and they're all eating them and giggling.

[Christy Lee]

They're not for your grandparents anymore.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe they could be in the basement like a garage band, and they're. They're playing. I guess they wouldn't play instruments anymore. They would just be standing there with their computers pointing in the air with headphones on each listening to something else, pretending they're doing something. Is DJs.

[Josh Arnold]

Many of your ideas. I'm gonna say devolve.

[Chick McGee]

You get so angry.

[Josh Arnold]

Your editorials as opposed to marketing.

[Chick McGee]

We could have the Almond Brothers come in and do part of the commercial.

[Tom Griswold]

There's only one left.

[Chick McGee]

That'd be fine. That'd be fine.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, J O. You dig these? Let's.

[Josh Arnold]

They are good Werther's.

[Chick McGee]

Are you sure it wasn't Jamo?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it's Jamo.

[Chick McGee]

No, I'm pretty sure it's jam.

[Tom Griswold]

And you go with sepia rather than sepia.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I was gonna ask you about that, too.

[Chick McGee]

I like sepia.

[Tom Griswold]

I've never. I've seen that. I've been reading that word my. Lately, my whole life. I guess I've never heard it pronounced.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, gotcha. I. I was.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

In college, we would have to do things in sepia tone. So maybe my professors were wrong.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no. I think you're right. I've never heard anybody say it out loud. It's so pretentious.

[Chick McGee]

Sepia sounds low rent.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Sepia tone.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That is a little more sepia tone. I have no idea. Well, could we move forward? What do you got over there?

[Chick McGee]

I wrapped up sports.

[Christy Lee]

We were doing that Detroit Pistons song. And then we were going to come back with.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, okay. I love the Detroit Pistons song. Thank you, Tim Cavanaugh. Now, Pat, you have a variation on that?

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

He didn't say that. No. Do you want him to deny it or do you want him to embrace it?

[Josh Arnold]

Which bit are we doing today?

[Chick McGee]

Yes, we stick to one bit.

[Tom Griswold]

Sit. Stay.

[Chick McGee]

You'll get the idea.

[Tom Griswold]

What's the background on this song?

[Pat Godwin]

It's about William Shatner. But, I mean, every time I do it, people say it sounds like another song. I don't. I don't hear that.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, so there's a joke right there. You just said William Shatner. Yeah,

[Pat Godwin]

well, it's the opening line of the song. William Shatner, best captain of them all. My girlfriend has many souvenirs Hung on every wall.

[Chick McGee]

Yep.

[Pat Godwin]

She has Shatner pants. She is Shatner shoes. She is Shatner raisin Brad. Sometimes people don't even notice. She is Shatner. She. She is Shatner underwear. She is Shatner jammies. A Star Trek bed. She's even Shatner too.

[Josh Arnold]

Shatner too. I enjoyed the Kavanaugh impression when you said souvenirs.

[Pat Godwin]

Souvenirs I enjoyed.

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't know that William Shatner to come out with a line of Raisin Bran. That is good to know.

[Pat Godwin]

No.

[Christy Lee]

What did you say?

[Pat Godwin]

Star Trek bed.

[Tom Griswold]

She's got a Star Trek bed. She's soiled.

[Pat Godwin]

You gave me a look like I crashed on the air, buddy.

[Christy Lee]

Star Trek.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh. Christy Lee is at the bottom.

[Chick McGee]

The final frontier.

[Christy Lee]

Okay, Christy, what am I hearing? Police in Charlotte, North Carolina, are searching for a person who drove his SUV onto a topgolf driving range. This is kind of a sports story. I should have given it to you, Mr. Lauden. Provost. Who witnessed the incident?

[Chick McGee]

Provost Lawton Provost.

[Christy Lee]

Wasn't that a name? Right, yeah. Said the scene was initially amusing as the driver was going up and down the driving range.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, I was.

[Christy Lee]

The suv, however, made its way closer to the golfers, creating a panic.

[Josh Arnold]

$100. First one who hits the plane.

[Tom Griswold]

You mean, you know the golfers up there, they're going, okay, go for it.

[Josh Arnold]

That's who you aim for.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. The driver caused $5,000 in damages. According to a social media post. The driver was heavily intoxicated and was seen urinating in the parking lot just before getting behind the wheel and driving out onto the range.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my God.

[Al Jackson]

It's easy.

[Josh Arnold]

Get hammered at Top Golf.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, it really is. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

We have video.

[Christy Lee]

It's a lot of fun.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

How did you. How do you do that.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, well, I mean they have to take the contraption to go pick up the balls. I bet.

[Tom Griswold]

So there's probably a garage.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Easy access.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, right. But man.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And if you've never been to topgolf, it's. It's sort of like a. It's a driving three or four story building though. So you're, you're hitting off of a. You're, you're pretty much elevated. Elevated place.

[Josh Arnold]

This guy looks like he might be genuinely lost.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, you think he took a wrong turn.

[Josh Arnold]

He's not really joyriding. He's like, how do I get out of here?

[Chick McGee]

I don't think I'm supposed to be on this.

[Tom Griswold]

And I read somewhere that most of the top golf locations are close to an Ikea. Have you ever.

[Josh Arnold]

It's part of their business model because.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's Atlanta and they're usually right near a freeway.

[Chick McGee]

A conscious choice.

[Christy Lee]

Why is that?

[Josh Arnold]

That the wives drop the husbands off

[Christy Lee]

at top Golf and they go to Ikea.

[Josh Arnold]

That was really the, the idea behind.

[Christy Lee]

I didn't know that. Huh.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And it's. It's a pretty cool. I drive by one all the time and it's. The parking lot's usually pretty full.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. There's a lot.

[Tom Griswold]

I think it's working.

[Josh Arnold]

It's kind of like golf meets bowling, you know, in some way.

[Christy Lee]

Right. Anybody can do it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. We've gone to parties there where even if you don't play golf, it's fun.

[Christy Lee]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I think, I think the somewhat humorous is they have a net. Obviously the whole place is surrounded by real high nets, but there's like a catcher at the, at the rim of the place where you're hitting the ball

[Christy Lee]

in case you fall off.

[Tom Griswold]

In case you fall over.

[Josh Arnold]

And there are videos of people doing it.

[Christy Lee]

Are you serious?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh yeah. They accidentally.

[Tom Griswold]

They do serve drinks.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

And good food. It's topgolf can be real fun.

[Christy Lee]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

But yeah, so I don't golf.

[Josh Arnold]

So that's coming from a non golfer.

[Chick McGee]

People think about that for a second. I'll leave that with.

[Tom Griswold]

So this guy, this guy goes to the parking lot, whips it out, pees in the parking lot. People see him, gets in the car, drives out. I think you're right. I bet he just was lost. Maybe. Maybe they'd opened the gate for the machine to go collect the balls. He sure he drove through as a driving range.

[Christy Lee]

Isn't it?

[Josh Arnold]

Cuz he's not trying to do figure eights or donuts or anything. He's Driving like he wants out.

[Tom Griswold]

And absolutely there's a guy up there going, I'll give you 50 bucks if you hit the car, break the windshield. I'll give you a huge.

[Chick McGee]

Now, did you just throw that in or did he really pee in the parking lot?

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's in the story.

[Chick McGee]

I missed that part. Okay.

[Christy Lee]

Urinating in the parking lot just before getting behind the wheel.

[Tom Griswold]

The driver was, quote, heavily intoxicated. Boy urinating in the park.

[Josh Arnold]

Please be careful about that.

[Christy Lee]

Don't get behind a wheel.

[Josh Arnold]

There's legitimately zero excuse now to be driving drunk.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, it said the police are still searching for the guy. Right?

[Christy Lee]

I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. That's the opening line. Police in Charlotte are searching for the guy.

[Christy Lee]

Y.

[Tom Griswold]

So they got a nice photograph of his automobile.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah. Complete with license plates.

[Christy Lee]

They found him by now.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Would you ever want to do like a team building thing or something like that? Maybe not necessarily topgolf, but maybe a bowling alley. We have something. What? No, no. When.

[Christy Lee]

When did top golf?

[Pat Godwin]

We went to top golf one day.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, Chick, you did. You know, you were there.

[Chick McGee]

I was there. There wasn't any team building. You went off into a corner and started. Started complaining about something and then it was over. That was it.

[Tom Griswold]

I paid for it. You guys all showed up.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You got set up.

[Pat Godwin]

Was fun.

[Josh Arnold]

We did get shoes out of the deal.

[Christy Lee]

We did. We got free shoes that day.

[Tom Griswold]

And I can't swing a golf club because of my bad arm, so I just.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, there's.

[Josh Arnold]

So you were just out there throwing them underhand.

[Tom Griswold]

I was out there signing credit card

[Chick McGee]

bills and somebody appreciated holding on to it. That's.

[Josh Arnold]

What else could we do? Team building. Escape room is out. Yeah, I'm never doing one of those.

[Chick McGee]

I don't care for that.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, no, I. I would go.

[Tom Griswold]

How about the massage parlor near Christie's old place?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that one.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Come and go. Oh, no, that was the gas station. Next.

[Josh Arnold]

Is Jade still working

[Christy Lee]

ayahuasca together?

[Josh Arnold]

Can we all go do ayahuasca together? How about that? That would be wild.

[Chick McGee]

I gotta. I can get us a teepee. How about that?

[Josh Arnold]

OSU could wear his Been there, done this T shirt.

[Christy Lee]

You get to poop.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, it makes you poop, doesn't it?

[Christy Lee]

Vomit.

[Chick McGee]

And what don't you get to.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm out. No, thanks.

[Josh Arnold]

You. Many people do puke.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, no, we're going to go to the cake place.

[Chick McGee]

I'm not going to puke anything.

[Tom Griswold]

We're going to do a team building thing. At a place.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay, but one piece of cake has to be stuffed with ayahuasca, and we don't know who's going to get it.

[Tom Griswold]

I like this ayahuasca to me sounds like a summer camp. It does. I went to. Hannah.

[Josh Arnold]

I was go.

[Chick McGee]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

I went to. Hey, Ioanna. We'll be right back. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom show contest rules, go to bobandtom.com contest rules. Or just scroll down to the bottom of the page and see contest rules. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

The United States Soccer Federation presents the U.S. soccer Podcast.

[Al Jackson]

My name is David Goss, and I'm

[Josh Arnold]

joined by my co host, Megan Kleinenberg.

[Christy Lee]

And now we're giving people an inside look at the World Cup. Time's ticking.

[Tom Griswold]

I think you can feel the intensity.

[Chick McGee]

All the guys are wanting to really

[Tom Griswold]

stake their claim and they want to be on that World cup roster. There's no doubt about it. Hosting the World cup on home soil comes with its pressures.

[Chick McGee]

But we're just really excited, just as the people are.

[Christy Lee]

The U.S. soccer Podcast, presented by Henkel.

[Tom Griswold]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform on the way.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

She's at the news desk. There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

You okay? Are you? You seem a little cold. You're cold.

[Pat Godwin]

I am cold.

[Chick McGee]

You bundled up? I was just checking you. Keep an eye on it. You might have a fever. There's Josh Arnold. Hi, there's Ace Cosby.

[Doug Bowles]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

I'm Chick McGee and. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's check in with Christy Lee. She's at the Bob and Tom news desk. What have you got?

[Christy Lee]

Doctors say a routine rectal exam may happen. Helped stabilize a man's irregular heartbeat. According to the case report, a 29 year old who lives in Queens, New York, went to the ER with heart palpitations and was found to have AFIB or arterial fibrillation. Fibrillation? I can't say that. A common type of arrhythmia, as that means your heart's out of beats.

[Tom Griswold]

I've had it.

[Christy Lee]

My mother had a lot of people. A lot of people, actually.

[Tom Griswold]

Very common.

[Chick McGee]

And then. Don't you have to hit yourself on the side of the Head to reset everything.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that right?

[Christy Lee]

Well, actually, actually physicians prepared to treat him. They performed a standard exam though before giving him some blood thinning medication. But during the exam, which was rectally, his heartbeat returned to normal. Doctors believe the procedure stimulated the vagus or vagus nerve, which can help regulate heart rhythm and say it could point to additional treatment approach in certain cases for afib.

[Josh Arnold]

Interesting, because that vagus nerve does go right from the brain to the B hole. Like it just runs that whole.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, I'm sure it's different for lots of people. When I had atrial fibrillation, the first thing they do is they put you to sleep and they put this thing down your throat and they shock your. Your heart back into normal rhythm. And it takes. It takes like 10 minutes. So I had that done a few times. Eventually I had a surgical procedure done where they didn't. Did you have that done where they put the.

[Chick McGee]

I did not have a.

[Tom Griswold]

They put this thing down by your. They go in by. By your. By your groin and they.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

They snake it up there and they. With a laser. It's amazing.

[Christy Lee]

And now you don't have AFIB anymore?

[Tom Griswold]

No, they fixed it. But I'm. I'm just. You know, it's really common and there's a lot of different types of it, I'm sure. But this is really weird that the guys now they did for some reason when I had mine, they. That wasn't part of the procedure.

[Christy Lee]

Well, they didn't. Well, did they try it first?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Christy Lee]

Well, that.

[Chick McGee]

What.

[Christy Lee]

Maybe it could have helped.

[Chick McGee]

Am I the only one that's kind of reminded of a. An adult cinema legend in motion pictures of, you know, deep throat? And the only way that she. It would there a couple body parts in. In her throat that weren't supposed to be in her throat. And the only way you can live, sir, is if you're. If you're stimulated in your. In your booty.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, I'm going to get a second opinion on that.

[Chick McGee]

All right?

[Tom Griswold]

I mean so. But in this case you have to

[Christy Lee]

have a really good friend who wants to help you.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, you want. You want to help me get a hold of this thing?

[Christy Lee]

I'm an afib. Can you come on?

[Tom Griswold]

I wonder if. Is there less. Is there less AFIB in men's prisons?

[Josh Arnold]

It's unheard of.

[Chick McGee]

Well, if you think about it, probably don't give it a chance.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, some guy's gonna hear this and go to say to his date, yeah, hey, my. I'm. I'm out of rhythm. Can you fix it for me? Oh, boy. Got your nails first.

[Christy Lee]

In Japan, a Japan underground idol is sparking outrage for offering armpit sniffing service to his fans.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, boy.

[Tom Griswold]

Her fans.

[Christy Lee]

Her fans. I'm sorry.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, you know, they're lining up.

[Christy Lee]

In Japan, these ladies are referred to as underground idols. According to the South China Morning Post, underground idols primarily build their followers through live performances at intimate venues and direct fan interactions.

[Tom Griswold]

You have a picture of this one.

[Christy Lee]

Such performer, Hari Matsumoto has gone viral after allowing male fans to get in person. Whiff of her armpits.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, you know, they just love it.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah. And she's probably making a ton of money. Look at that.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my gosh.

[Tom Griswold]

Photograph of she's just lifting up her armpit while she is not guys digging in.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a white guy. He trapped. He spent money on an airfare in a hotel so that he could go do that, Man.

[Christy Lee]

While she has not explained why she introduced the unusual perk, social media users believe it's a way to stand out among other underground idols and to strengthen her fan base.

[Josh Arnold]

How about that?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, man.

[Tom Griswold]

Is this a category? I mean, is there like an Only fans?

[Christy Lee]

Apparently.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I guarantee you can find girls who are willing just to show their armpits off and see stuff. But.

[Tom Griswold]

But boy, to sniff them, though, in person,

[Josh Arnold]

you know.

[Chick McGee]

What do you think that would cost, like on average, like 500 bucks maybe?

[Josh Arnold]

Because these. The guys who really need this.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Will pay.

[Chick McGee]

Absolutely.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, do you have to. Do you think they. Do you think they absolutely have to have it to complete?

[Josh Arnold]

In a way, yeah. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Really? So they either watch videos of it. Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

My question would be, is the completion on site?

[Josh Arnold]

I bet for some of them is

[Tom Griswold]

like a thing you bank.

[Josh Arnold]

Some it's probably a bank situation. Some it's probably completely involuntary.

[Tom Griswold]

They.

[Josh Arnold]

They get a couple whiffs and can you.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you ask for like a. What is it called? A swath. What is the swatch? What is word? What's up?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, maybe like a swatch of the. Of a girl's. Of her T shirt and take home. I bet she sells it.

[Tom Griswold]

Is there like a booth where there's some guy up front and he hands you the. Hand you the little piece of cloth and you walk up and probably Ms. Hiroshima wipes her armpit and hands it to you?

[Chick McGee]

Ms. Hiroshima, maybe. Yeah. No, don't do that. Say like Nagasaki or something.

[Tom Griswold]

My fault. I was the one that dropped.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

The fat man jokes out.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Speaking of odor, scientists have discovered that female Body odor can influence the behavior of men. Well, we obviously saw that, didn't we?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Researchers at the University of Tokyo found that certain scent compounds in female body odor increased during ovulation. While these compounds were added to the armpit odor samples, men rated them as more pleasant, and the scents were found to relax the male subjects that were sniffing them.

[Tom Griswold]

This is like an evolutionary Right. In other words, if she smells more appealing, you're going to want more likely. I was going to be more delicate. You're going to want to procreate.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

During that. And that's when she's fertile, Right?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. And it may. It says here the results published in the journal Eye Science, and again from Japan, body odor, maybe in some way.

[Josh Arnold]

Are Asian men more. Are they kinkier, or are they just more open about it?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I would think it's pretty much the same, because it's always the way.

[Josh Arnold]

A lot of the weirdness comes from Asia.

[Chick McGee]

I think they're more open about it.

[Josh Arnold]

If you're into an octopus dressed like a schoolgirl.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

You go to the Asian porn site.

[Chick McGee]

That's a bullseye for me.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, it's just bizarre.

[Christy Lee]

I think they're kinky.

[Pat Godwin]

I think kinkier, too.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. And I don't think they talk about it as much.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't it because their culture is so much more restricted?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, they do talk about it as much. This stuff you have the panty vending machines. Vending machines.

[Christy Lee]

We talk about it, but do they.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, of course, if you have vending machines out in the open with panties

[Chick McGee]

in them, you got to talk about.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember the Japanese? What was it? The game show where the guys would straddle that thing, and if they got the wrong answer, it would basically hit him with a baseball bat in the nuts?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Well, no, it was like a wheel of feet, and on each fake foot, there was a boot, and the boot would kick him right in the nards. Yeah,

[Tom Griswold]

but the suggestion of this is that women smell better during ovulation, so they're more likely to reproduce.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Christy, what would you charge? And I'm not saying you would do this, but if you were like, hey, look, I'm gonna do it. What would you charge to have men huff your armpit?

[Christy Lee]

I don't even know. What would you pay?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I. Well, I'm. I guess what I'm saying is, what would it be worth it to you?

[Christy Lee]

It would be like a hundred bucks.

[Chick McGee]

I've always heard the. The.

[Josh Arnold]

That's way low.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I've always heard that. The person who says the first dollar figure first loses. So you let them start the bidding.

[Josh Arnold]

You do it for $100 for a

[Christy Lee]

guy to smell my armpit.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, you get 20 guys, you're walking out of there with at least, like, 500.

[Christy Lee]

It's two grand in, what, a half hour?

[Josh Arnold]

I'm terrible at that.

[Tom Griswold]

But what I see. Josh is your manager. They'll be handling. He'll be handling the money. There's a little.

[Christy Lee]

How long do they get to sniff?

[Josh Arnold]

10 seconds.

[Chick McGee]

Like a half hour.

[Christy Lee]

You can make a ton of money

[Josh Arnold]

in 100 bucks a pop, but you could also. You. But you can charge 500.

[Christy Lee]

People would pay that right now.

[Josh Arnold]

There are men begging for this to actually happen.

[Doug Bowles]

Listening, listening.

[Chick McGee]

Josh, you and I should start some

[Josh Arnold]

sort of,

[Chick McGee]

you know, like, armpit pimp, whatever.

[Tom Griswold]

What would.

[Chick McGee]

Like, our feet or something? Don't girls like men's feet? Isn't that.

[Josh Arnold]

There must be women out there with foot something.

[Chick McGee]

That would be harmless to us, but they would get really.

[Josh Arnold]

On one podcast, I heard an adult, a female porn star, say that she actually had a legit foot fetish.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

And that's, like, the only woman I've ever heard say.

[Christy Lee]

And they were men's feet, not women.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Okay, so.

[Josh Arnold]

But you could.

[Tom Griswold]

You could call it the Chris Christie's Pit Stop.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Kind of. Kind of a race theme.

[Christy Lee]

We could do it.

[Tom Griswold]

Checkered flags.

[Chick McGee]

I like it.

[Pat Godwin]

Christie's Pit Stop. Carb day.

[Christy Lee]

Morning.

[Josh Arnold]

Morning. You and I will be broadcasting from the Indianapolis 500 bingo speedway.

[Doug Bowles]

We.

[Josh Arnold]

We could make this happen. Now, just let your husband know. Ask him if he wants, like, a new suit or whatever, and you can buy him one.

[Pat Godwin]

It's a radio gag. You know, you don't normally do stuff like this.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, he'll get a taste.

[Tom Griswold]

They do have a. They do have a pit stop competition. This would be slightly different.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And I'm.

[Christy Lee]

This would be harmless, but.

[Tom Griswold]

No, we wouldn't get. You wouldn't get arrested until I'd say 650.

[Josh Arnold]

But shake your right.

[Chick McGee]

Let's not.

[Josh Arnold]

And let's not discount the gay men.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

In defeat. And armpits.

[Chick McGee]

Absolutely. Absolutely. If they want to come up with $250 a pop, I'll do anything.

[Josh Arnold]

Let's put out a survey on X. Are there enough gay men and women out there who want to see Chick or my. Or Pat or whoever. Feet and armpits.

[Chick McGee]

Boom.

[Tom Griswold]

Both.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, man.

[Pat Godwin]

Whatever they want.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

I call it the tour.

[Tom Griswold]

Now you can take the tour while they're sniffing what's to prevent them from doing it. Would they want to do a lick?

[Christy Lee]

No licks.

[Pat Godwin]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

And in fact, what we would do is we would stage somebody trying to lick and immediately grabbed by two big burly bouncers. And they would be shown the door with their heads and thrown out.

[Chick McGee]

Yep. I want to see his head hit that door.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Christy Lee]

Is this illegal?

[Josh Arnold]

No, no, I don't think it's.

[Christy Lee]

Then why would I be arrested?

[Tom Griswold]

Because you weren't doing it on. You're doing it on someone else's property. They have other things going on there that we know.

[Josh Arnold]

Doug Bowles, you give him a piece.

[Tom Griswold]

That's it. Okay. Speaking of gifts, watch this. Speaking of gifts, what's the best gift for mother's Day? Well, this is a really good one. The aura frame. There's one right behind John. And what? It's. It's just like a slideshow, except there's no cool sound or you don't need to be sitting there going, oh, look, there's. There's a picture of me with my cowboy hat on. That's nice. Let's go to the next slide. Oh, there's. There's a picture of somebody on stage. Was that Willie? The point is the. You can turn off the sound effect. The aura frame.

[Chick McGee]

He was doing it.

[Christy Lee]

I know.

[Chick McGee]

He was doing the whole thing and killing it himself. Go ahead.

[Tom Griswold]

The. The aura frame is cool. You load it with videos, with photographs. It's a great gift. And you. Can you load this thing remotely so I could. Well, I'll do it this way, Josh. You could give one to your mom, which I know you have, and then you could put pictures on it from your place.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, it's great.

[Tom Griswold]

It's terrific. And you spell it A U R A. I'm spelling it out because you find [e-mail] and right now, for a limited time, Bob and Tom show listeners could get 25 bucks off the best selling carver mat frame if you use the code Tom. That's a U R Aura frames dot com. The promo code is Tom. If you're struggling to think of a great mother's day gift, this is perfect. And once again, you load photos on. You got those. You got a bunch of photos on your phone.

[Christy Lee]

And videos. Don't forget the videos too, of course.

[Tom Griswold]

So support our show by mentioning the Bob and Tom showing you. Check out once again. It's a U R A frames dot com. If I had three hands, I'd give three thumbs up. I love this thing. I've had one at my house. Since the first time I heard about it. In fact, I think I'm going to get one for my office here. Free unlimited storage. By the way, there's no fees. Once you buy it, you don't have to pay to keep using it. And you can load it anywhere, anytime. So it's the Carver mat frame. Aura Aura frames dot com. The promo code is. Tom, thank you very much. Coming. Coming up, we have strippers in the news. We have vending machine news that's quite unusual. And a chewing gum that may be used in the health field I think you'll find fascinating. And update Pablo Escobar's hippos. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Bob and Tom Show. We are shoe. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee at the news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Ready to go, buddy.

[Chick McGee]

How about that, huh? There's Pat Godwin. There's Josh Arnold. Hey, Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick again.

[Chick McGee]

There he is. There's Josh Arnold at the I hate Stephen Singer sidekick chair.

[Josh Arnold]

Look, you got to get to I hate stevensinger.com immediately. They've got those wonderful new Sunrise 24 Karat Gold Dip Roses available now and only atI hate stevensinger.com. they're absolutely gorgeous.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom. You getting all situated over there?

[Tom Griswold]

I am. I'm doing great over here. We've got Christy Lee at the news desk. Let's catch up with. What have you got over there?

[Christy Lee]

Well, we're gonna keep with our science hunk real quick. Scientists say the flu could one day be diagnosed with chewing gum.

[Josh Arnold]

Interesting.

[Christy Lee]

Researchers have developed a rapid test using a natural compound called thymol. Found in thyme. Might be called thymol then. I have seen that combined with a virus specific sug sugar. When the sensors detect influenza in your saliva,

[Chick McGee]

the only objectional part to it is the loud noise.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. It's created from your rectum.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

They release thymol or thymol, creating a noticeable taste. Scientists say the method could offer a fast, low cost way to detect infection within minutes.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, so the taste changes. Yes.

[Christy Lee]

So you would know if you had the flu or.

[Chick McGee]

Or not.

[Tom Griswold]

Weird. Is it called Juicy Flu?

[Josh Arnold]

That's not bad.

[Chick McGee]

I like it pretty good. That's.

[Pat Godwin]

That's good.

[Chick McGee]

Let me tell you something.

[Tom Griswold]

That's really our big league flu.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

That's even better.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I. But don't you have to leave Sickley's Spearmint Gum.

[Chick McGee]

Don't you have to For a more accurate reading, you have to leave it on the bed post overnight. Yeah. Nothing.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a song, isn't it?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cuz you're chewing gum. Get.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Something on the back.

[Christy Lee]

I've never heard that.

[Tom Griswold]

You're lucky.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

It's not.

[Chick McGee]

It's.

[Tom Griswold]

It's the idea of a simpleton expanded into an ep.

[Josh Arnold]

I remember that being on an album my dad had of. It was like that. And the purple People eater and spiders and snakes. It was like a weird.

[Chick McGee]

I don't like spiders.

[Christy Lee]

I do know that.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, you feel.

[Tom Griswold]

Songs for those that haven't at puberty.

[Pat Godwin]

Shaving cream.

[Tom Griswold]

Songs for boys.

[Chick McGee]

Songs taking us away that aren't funny and for no taste.

[Christy Lee]

Dr. Demento made a career on that.

[Pat Godwin]

I know none of them.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I loved all that stuff you didn't like.

[Christy Lee]

Dr. Demento didn't like a lot like

[Tom Griswold]

some of your stuff, Pat.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, he did.

[Pat Godwin]

I didn't like my stuff. I'm very.

[Christy Lee]

An Indian billionaire heir is offering to have some of Pablo Escobar's famous cocaine hippos brought to India. The Colombian government previously announced it would kill or euthanize about 80 hippos that are descended from the ones that the late drug lord brought to the country first private zoo. But according to CNN Indian magnate Anat Ambani.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm not somebody.

[Christy Lee]

I am not. I am not him.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, you are.

[Josh Arnold]

Or not.

[Tom Griswold]

I am not. Yes, you are.

[Christy Lee]

It's implored officials to reconstruct.

[Chick McGee]

I am not the killer.

[Tom Griswold]

Whatever.

[Chick McGee]

I'm not.

[Christy Lee]

I am not your father. Father.

[Chick McGee]

I am not the father. That's what I'm thinking of.

[Christy Lee]

If we have the capacity to save them through a safe and humane solution, we have the responsibility to try, is what he said to the government. He proposed to relocate the invasive hippos to his wildlife sanctuary in India. Hippos, by the way, for those of you not native to India. A representative for Mr. Ambani said that if the Colombian government approves, the hippos would be moved in strict accordance with the necessary approval, approvals, permits, due diligence processes, biosecurity requirements and logistical planning.

[Tom Griswold]

It's very complicated because it. Yes, they have HIPAA laws.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. They can't really. Right. It's hard.

[Tom Griswold]

They say There may be 200 of these hippos. Now, they're obviously they're not native to Colombia and it's causing some pretty big problems. So the most recent thing a couple months ago was the Colombian government said they're going to call c u l l 80 of them.

[Christy Lee]

Nice word for kill, I guess.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know why they don't auction, auction off the rights to hunters. Wouldn't that make sense?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Well then what are you doing?

[Josh Arnold]

There must be a cruelty thing.

[Chick McGee]

You would pay a fee and go out and kill a. You get a cat. Your limit would be two hippo or hippos.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know if big game hunters would be interested. I would think they would.

[Josh Arnold]

Or you could buy a certain amount of tags like alligator hunting.

[Tom Griswold]

But hippos are, they are one of the most dangerous animals.

[Chick McGee]

I was going to say they're like,

[Christy Lee]

why would you want to hunt one?

[Chick McGee]

Lethal, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, you hunt lions.

[Chick McGee]

That's the excitement of it.

[Tom Griswold]

A guy last week got, remember that? Trampled to death by an elephant. Big. He was in fact a so called big game hunter just last week.

[Christy Lee]

Good. He should have been sorry. Elephants shouldn't be killed.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, no, they shouldn't. You're right about that.

[Tom Griswold]

They weren't hunting. Hunting. Well, never mind.

[Josh Arnold]

Right, right. If they weren't.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, he was hunting something else.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, they were hunting something else.

[Chick McGee]

And I think we can't let elephants run amok. We have to control their populations.

[Tom Griswold]

But the original thing with, with these hippos, this started several years ago. They started saying, hey, we gotta get rid of them. And they were gonna try to castrate them.

[Christy Lee]

Why can't they just give them like a birth control shot?

[Tom Griswold]

I, I, well, first of all, I

[Josh Arnold]

could have chemically castrated.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. They have dark guns.

[Chick McGee]

Problem is, getting their feet in the

[Josh Arnold]

stirrups, that can be difficult.

[Tom Griswold]

They're ungainly.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yes. They're awkward.

[Josh Arnold]

You get the ballerina ones from Fantasia, they don't cooperate.

[Tom Griswold]

Now Pat, do you have any tribute to castrating hippos?

[Pat Godwin]

Not necessarily that. I got a little update here. Hippos, artificial species with our tail we're flinging feces More comfortable in the rain oh, we're semi aquatic Once surrounded by narcotics and the trafficking of cocaine they want to neuter or enslave us but one dude wants to save us from Pablo's abandoned zoo. His name's Anatomani and he has lots of money and a sanctuary

[Chick McGee]

oh, I

[Pat Godwin]

could tell you things But I'd rather sing this song 80 of us are flying to India on a plane we all weigh around 5,000 pounds. What possibly could go wrong? They're gonna fly us in a hurry to the land of rice and curry not our African terrain. Oh, they say it's hot and sticky. But us hippos can't be picky. Damn you, Pablo and your cooking.

[Chick McGee]

Very nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Little update now at Christy, am I right? It doesn't say how they'd get him to India.

[Josh Arnold]

It is a flight and I know my luck. I'd get the middle seat between two hippos.

[Christy Lee]

There'd have to be a boat, I would think.

[Chick McGee]

Excuse me.

[Christy Lee]

You'd have to put one on each plane. It would. Would be £5,000.

[Pat Godwin]

They can go up to £9,000 too. From 2 to 9,000.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. That's.

[Chick McGee]

Jeez, that's a lot. Wow.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, cut back a little bit.

[Christy Lee]

Talk about your weight and balance in a jet, you're gonna have everybody sitting in the front.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. They'd have to put them on a ship.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And then that has to be pretty scary.

[Josh Arnold]

I love hippos though. I know they're incredibly dangerous, but I'm always. I think they're cool.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, they are cool.

[Chick McGee]

Aren't the teeth weird? Looking like they're flat, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, they're like ground down. They must ye.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And they do they kill people though, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

And they're herbivores, believe it or not.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, right, right.

[Chick McGee]

They're just.

[Josh Arnold]

It's all about territory for them.

[Tom Griswold]

So. Yeah. This is going to go on forever.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

What else you got?

[Christy Lee]

A 23 year old woman from Detroit who was wanted on a fugitive warrant and was working as a stripper was accused of using a seven foot metal pole as a weapon at an adult entertainment club Monday in North Miami Beach.

[Josh Arnold]

Sheesh.

[Christy Lee]

Police said a manager at the known as Taboo Miami.

[Chick McGee]

Taboo, yeah. Okay.

[Christy Lee]

Taboo Miami told officers that the incident began when the 23 year old had been terminated over bizarre behavior and conflicts with employees. The woman started running through the club throwing items using excessive profanity and distributing the normal flow of business.

[Tom Griswold]

Excessive profanity?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So

[Josh Arnold]

some's all right.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, there's some. That's okay. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Security escorted her out. She allegedly returned with a seven foot long metal pole and nearly struck a security guard. She was caught and arrested on numerous

[Tom Griswold]

charges, by the way. This would be not necessarily this particular woman, but I think a premise for a movie. She's a. She is a fugitive from justice.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

So she would be the fugitive stripper.

[Josh Arnold]

Fugitive. What are you smiling about? You're not entertaining any at all.

[Chick McGee]

What are you laughing about? David Johnson has. He just plays this and he goes into a fit of laughter like he's listening to Jerry Law. I don't get It.

[Tom Griswold]

They show. So they show the stripper and she's wearing Groucho glasses so the police can't identify.

[Josh Arnold]

I like that a lot. Now we're on to something.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, that's is pretty good.

[Tom Griswold]

Get the A team. No, get the T and A team. She's a stripper. The fugitive stripper. I think that'd be great. She doesn't. She hasn't committed the crime.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

She's accused of killing the guy who was abusive. And then she moves to Florida from Detroit and becomes a stripper.

[Josh Arnold]

Interesting.

[Tom Griswold]

And then the. The detective, the Tommy Lee Jones character falls in love with her. Oh, I've got this whole thing done.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. How does it end?

[Tom Griswold]

She has a. She has a baby.

[Chick McGee]

Wow, this is exciting. Isn't that good?

[Christy Lee]

22 Sri Lankan monks were arrested at the international airport in Sri Lanka.

[Tom Griswold]

Have you seen this picture?

[Christy Lee]

After they were caught trying to smuggle 242lbs of cannabis. A Sri Lankan customs spokeswoman said that the group was returning from a four day vacation in Thailand when officials discovered the cook hidden in their luggage. Yeah. The monks were handed over to police, as you can imagine. There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

And this is. They're. They're walking into court in this photograph. They're going up the stairs and they're already wearing. They're wearing their monk robes, which are conveniently prison orange.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what? I. They're too thin. I picture chubby monks.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, right. I agree.

[Christy Lee]

That's because they were hitting the cannabis.

[Tom Griswold]

That's right. Yeah, exactly. They wanted to beef up a little bit to get the monkey.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But that kind of explains maybe why some of these people are willing to go. Because I thought monks, you know, didn't do anything.

[Josh Arnold]

Many vows are usually involved silence.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, they have to. They look in inward, business travel, bad food, no sex.

[Christy Lee]

No. How do you know their food's bad?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I bet it's delicious.

[Christy Lee]

I bet it is too.

[Chick McGee]

They're striving for enlightenment.

[Josh Arnold]

But it's lentil based. You think it's lentils?

[Chick McGee]

A lot of beans. I would. I would think a lot of beans. A lot of gas.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe. Maybe. Did Buddha. He was the first monk. Right. So he probably.

[Christy Lee]

He ate all the food.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, he beefed up because of the munchies. Good to know.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know about that.

[Christy Lee]

Speaking of the munchies in New Jersey,

[Tom Griswold]

you're a Buddhist, right? Or bud?

[Chick McGee]

Buddhist.

[Tom Griswold]

Buddhist.

[Chick McGee]

Buddy. What's up, Bud?

[Tom Griswold]

These guys are putting the bud.

[Chick McGee]

That's right. We put the bud back in butter.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Coming up we have today in history. History. And we have more marijuana news. And we have an interesting thing that the war in Iran may be causing a problem.

[Josh Arnold]

There's a war in Iran that.

[Tom Griswold]

That is unexpectedly involving the bedroom.

[Josh Arnold]

Really? Oh, I have a guess.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

A petroleum perhaps needed in the making of certain things.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good. Is that it? Not. But not the anal ease that you're thinking of.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, oh, what am I not thinking

[Tom Griswold]

of when it's made of salad oil?

[Chick McGee]

We should stock up on KY jelly. Is that what you're trying to say?

[Josh Arnold]

I'm gonna guess condoms.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, coming up, we have a little bit of history for you. We have more marijuana news. A very interesting marijuana story, actually.

[Christy Lee]

Al Jackson coming up.

[Tom Griswold]

Al Jackson will be coming up in about half an hour. Right now I want to say hi to my buddy Stevenson Singer. I've told you, I warned you. Mother's Day just around the corner.

[Christy Lee]

Don't come from Sunday.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't come crying to me. Oh, I got in trouble. I didn't get my old lady nothing. Well, don't be an idiot.

[Chick McGee]

That's why we do commercials here in the Bob and Tom show.

[Josh Arnold]

I usually.

[Chick McGee]

We verbally undress you, then I usually

[Josh Arnold]

pat my mom on the back and give her a good. Atta girl.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Is that not enough for me?

[Christy Lee]

Nice job, mom.

[Tom Griswold]

We want a little something. Maybe a little jewelry. That's always nice. Come on. That's a mom. Well, something for the working hard, being a mom. So what you want to do? There's a bunch of stuff. Stephen Singer's got so many options. There's one option only Steven Singer has. That's the sunrise 24 karat gold dip rose. There's one right there. Christie's got it. That's a real rose dipped in gold. And then the beautiful colors of the sunrise, a sparkling blue, kind of a purpley pink thing going on. Golden yellow. It looks like a sunrise. The idea being do something nice for that mom out there. Those are, by the way, just 89 bucks. They're in a beautiful gift box and they're shipped for free. Steven Singer must have gotten hit in the head because free shipping, nobody does that anymore with the prices the way they are. Steven Singer Jewelers. You visit him by going to I hate stevensinger.com. he's a great guy. He's a dog guy. He's got a beautiful rescue dog named Buddy. And Steven's new sunrise rose. Did I mention 89 bucks? And then I mentioned that it's free shipping and it comes in a beautiful gift box. Everything From Steven Singer Jewelers. Comes in a beautiful gift box. I highly recommend the earrings. Stephen recently saved my bacon behind. Thank you very much, Stephen. You can't go wrong. Bracelets, earrings. He's got it all. He's got a great catalog. You can view it. I hate stevensinger.com and again, the folks featured in the catalog, employees that people he works with, they're not some highfalutin fashion models that look angry at life. Sure, this is an expensive band on my wrist, but I'm miserable. No, these are regular people having a good time. So be a regular guy or a regular gal and get that mom something nice. I hate stephensinger.com. please tell them the Bob and Tom show sent you. Coming up, important things in the world, the meaning of life and profound wisdom on another channel. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Hey, thanks for listening this morning. Got something to say? Send us an email. Email. Bob and Tom. Bob and Tom dot com.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee at the news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Josh Arnold]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

In his swell fleece.

[Tom Griswold]

Zip up there playing with my zipper.

[Christy Lee]

Quarter zip. Look at that.

[Pat Godwin]

Quarter zip up.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Chick, how do you feel about people who say a couple couple, three or a couple few, couple, two, tree.

[Chick McGee]

I like a couple three more than a couple few.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. How many pieces of pizza do you have? A couple, three, couple three.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Which is.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, how do you stand with someone who says it's across?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that makes me homesick for my mother, therefore I hate it.

[Tom Griswold]

I see, I see. So much for our lesson.

[Chick McGee]

I like. I'm going to start telling time, though. 30 is out. 6, 35, 30. I'm going to say half five.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

From now on, I'd have no idea what you're talking about.

[Christy Lee]

Even half past five.

[Tom Griswold]

Just no idea what you're talking about.

[Josh Arnold]

Are you also going to say things like 270?

[Chick McGee]

Yes, I am. Yeah. £1.09, I think.

[Tom Griswold]

Pocket watch.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby. Hello. Hello indeed. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Chick McGee. We got a couple things we got to get to here.

[Chick McGee]

About what time would that be? 9, 9, 9.

[Tom Griswold]

Half, including our history lesson. Try to get you guys educated a little bit here.

[Josh Arnold]

May 5th.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, this is a good one here, Pat. I'll ask you this, man.

[Chick McGee]

Today's the last day of April.

[Christy Lee]

No. Right.

[Tom Griswold]

1492. Christopher Columbus was given a Commission by what country to equip his fleet?

[Josh Arnold]

Spain.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good. But Mr. Columbus, of course, was from Italian.

[Chick McGee]

Time now for another adventure of the intelligent guy. That sounds stupid. Here's Pat.

[Tom Griswold]

He equipped his fleet. Of course, they gave him the cash to equip the fleet with weapons. Smallpox, hookers, syphilis. This is interesting. In seven. This is. I forgot about this. In 1789, George Washington was inaugurated as the first president of the United States. States. So in April. We're used to a much earlier inauguration.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So in 1789, it was technically the inaugural. Inaugural. Am I right?

[Christy Lee]

See, this would go with what you've always said. We should go back to an April inauguration after tax day.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that's because. No, the election should be the. Should be the first Tuesday after taxes,

[Christy Lee]

and then you inaugurate at the end of the month.

[Tom Griswold]

And I took my daughters to see Hamilton, so they think George Washington is black. Man, it's okay. Your thoughts, Josh?

[Josh Arnold]

That's why I'll never see it. Keep the races real people. What does that even mean?

[Tom Griswold]

Have you ever seen the famous video where George Washington said he had more people at his inauguration than Obama? It was very impressive.

[Chick McGee]

I've heard that.

[Tom Griswold]

1803. The Louisiana Purchase. Purchase. Who'd we buy it from, Christy?

[Christy Lee]

The French?

[Chick McGee]

Nope. France.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. I bought Louisiana from the French. They claimed it fell off a truck. Yeah, that's always been. That's me, like buying Chick's car from Josh.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, you sell my car, boy? Is that what you're doing?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Why did France own Louisiana?

[Christy Lee]

They settled it first, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, but why? Just.

[Tom Griswold]

There were already people there running around.

[Christy Lee]

We did that. And we. It didn't stop us.

[Josh Arnold]

Let's not look a gift horse in the mouth. Our ancestors did what they had to so we could sit here.

[Chick McGee]

It's true.

[Josh Arnold]

Everyone appreciate the slaughter.

[Tom Griswold]

This.

[Chick McGee]

This.

[Tom Griswold]

I. I've never heard this one.

[Chick McGee]

Plus, we got great parking.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, this guy is in 18. In 1897, he announced the discovery of the electron. You know, this was Chick.

[Chick McGee]

James Wyatt.

[Tom Griswold]

You're close. J.J. thompson.

[Chick McGee]

Ah,

[Josh Arnold]

you don't have to call me.

[Chick McGee]

He discovered the Thompson Consumer Electronics.

[Tom Griswold]

Probably the tiny little electricity electron. His wife said, you can find that, but you can't find a little guy in a boat. Come on, come on.

[Chick McGee]

Get over here and try to find this.

[Josh Arnold]

You know who discovered the neutron dance?

[Chick McGee]

The pointer. Pointer system.

[Josh Arnold]

That's exactly right. I love that song. You do?

[Christy Lee]

I don't think I remember that.

[Josh Arnold]

If you heard of you.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I can't stop Doing the neutron dance.

[Christy Lee]

All right.

[Josh Arnold]

Beverly Hills Cop uses it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, well, you'll. Yeah, you've heard. 1945, Adolf Hitler and Ava Braun. Yeah, they checked out DIY style.

[Chick McGee]

Well, I don't know. I don't know if Ava.

[Josh Arnold]

I think she was the Lady Macbeth behind the whole thing.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, remember her parents were quoted as saying, oh, she knew how to pick him when they met Adolf. So that was the end of Adolf and the end of the stash.

[Josh Arnold]

Do you think anybody ever said about Adolf Hitler?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

He was nice to me, you know. You know how sometimes you'll hear, like, about colossal jerks and somebody will always go, well, he was nice to me when I.

[Chick McGee]

What's the joke, though? Drinking makes him mean. What is that?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

He was a tea totaler and a vegetarian.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, this is great. I love this story. 1952, Mr. Potato Head was first advertised on television. Yes, That's a famous story because they. They couldn't get it across on the radio. What it. It did. And. And the original Mr. Potato Head, you provided your own potato, Right?

[Chick McGee]

You. You had the little plastic sold very

[Josh Arnold]

poorly in Ireland for a while.

[Pat Godwin]

Cause of the famine.

[Tom Griswold]

It was kind of like. And by the way, I love the Mr. Potato Head and Toy Story. It's just so great.

[Chick McGee]

You sound like an insane.

[Tom Griswold]

I love Toy and Toy Story 5's coming out in the morning.

[Christy Lee]

June 20 mouth.

[Chick McGee]

Can't wait.

[Josh Arnold]

Diminishing returns.

[Tom Griswold]

Happy birthday, Cloris Leachman. How she never worked for the Clorox Bleach people. It's just right there.

[Josh Arnold]

Clorox Leechman. Clorox Bleachman.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, right.

[Josh Arnold]

It is right there.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, wait a minute.

[Tom Griswold]

She's. What is she. Is she most famous for Young Frankenstein

[Josh Arnold]

probably Last Picture Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Last Picture.

[Chick McGee]

Or Phyllis Mary Tyler.

[Tom Griswold]

I've never heard. Heard that name. I mean, Chloris.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, you're right there. There aren't many choruses.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You think it's me?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, this is. She was a contestant on the Miss America pageant in 1946. I did not know that.

[Chick McGee]

46.

[Josh Arnold]

What? They were really scraping Rhode island between her and Imagine. Coca, can you imagine?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, wow.

[Chick McGee]

The beautiful women in 1946.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm a huge fan of this guy. Born in 1975. Johnny Galactic Lecky from Roseanne and from Big Bang Theory. Terrific actor. Oh, and it's also his cast mate's birthday. Kunal. Yeah, we talked him. He's terrific in that show.

[Josh Arnold]

What did he sound like when you spoke to him?

[Christy Lee]

No, don't he?

[Josh Arnold]

Actually, he doesn't have that accent.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but they had. They had the great sequences where he'd be talking to his parents. Parents on FaceTime was always funny. Suppose they got them both a cake on the set of that show. Or did.

[Josh Arnold]

I would hope so.

[Tom Griswold]

Smaller cake for. Well, you're right.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Star gets the big cake.

[Chick McGee]

Sorry. Getting another cake.

[Tom Griswold]

Kirsten Dunst.

[Chick McGee]

Yep. Ms. Mrs. Jesse Plemon.

[Josh Arnold]

I like her too. She's great.

[Tom Griswold]

She's one of those actresses that made all of her money on the side. Like Jessica Alba. She's got some.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, she does?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Line of hats. The dunce caps.

[Josh Arnold]

The Dunst cap the dunce. I really enjoyed it.

[Al Jackson]

Those.

[Tom Griswold]

I heard those made.

[Chick McGee]

It's just wonderfully big money. I love that so much.

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry. I'm so sorry. Earlier this morning we had a letter from someone, Josh, that you read where they played something and you said, everyone can finish it was. It was. What was it again?

[Josh Arnold]

Manomina.

[Tom Griswold]

And I was trying to think of one from the disco era and I thought of this one. This is sort of the same thing. I think everybody can finish the. This. Here it comes. Remember this?

[Josh Arnold]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Everybody. See? Everybody can finish it. There's so many of those. They're great.

[Josh Arnold]

Like, everybody can finish the lyric. That is also the name of the song.

[Chick McGee]

That's amazing.

[Josh Arnold]

How did they do it?

[Al Jackson]

How do they know?

[Tom Griswold]

That observation was brilliant. How about this one?

[Pat Godwin]

Bop.

[Tom Griswold]

See?

[Chick McGee]

Same thing. Same thing.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a note.

[Tom Griswold]

What's the name of that song? Smarty?

[Chick McGee]

Smart ass.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, one effect of the Iran war that will affect the bedroom. That's kind of weird.

[Chick McGee]

Condoms. Is it condoms? I bet it's condom.

[Tom Griswold]

Also, we have a survey about are you the perfect roommate when it comes to traveling? I'll answer this for Chick. No. Okay, let's move, huh? Let's move forward.

[Chick McGee]

You're the one who gets fan mail from the airport for your snoring.

[Tom Griswold]

These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Get a look at today's show on our YouTube channel,

[Tom Griswold]

some fun.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Top Show. We're at the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Josh Arnold.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

There's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Ace Cosby. Howdy. I am Chick McGee. Tom, we have a guest. Say hello.

[Tom Griswold]

He's Al Jackson. His boy, Elroy.

[Chick McGee]

Wait, try not to say boy. Okay?

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much. Hey, Al, We We. We have to pause a moment before we get into the segment with comedian Al Jackson, because.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, Al. For comedian Al.

[Al Jackson]

Jack.

[Tom Griswold]

Christy Lee could not remember the Neutron Dance.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I couldn't.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, I'm gonna play a little bit of it for you, Chris. You see if you remember it.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah. It sounds like it's too fast.

[Christy Lee]

It is too fast.

[Chick McGee]

I assure you it's not.

[Tom Griswold]

I remember this coming back now.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, it's great.

[Christy Lee]

You can't dance to this. No.

[Pat Godwin]

Look at that. Part of the 36.

[Tom Griswold]

Al, I don't know if you can

[Chick McGee]

see this, but Bonnie, Anita and Ruth, the sister's pointer.

[Tom Griswold]

This is in. What is it? Beverly Hills Cop.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And one of the Pointer sisters went nuts, Right? One of them.

[Doug Bowles]

There were four.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I wanted to put up an issue.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I didn't know that.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

That's a little faster.

[Chick McGee]

Anita. No, there were Bonnie, Anita and Ruth were the ones that were in the group, and then there was a fourth.

[Tom Griswold]

I was not aware of that, but. Al. How are you, sir?

[Al Jackson]

Sure, I'm doing better after Josh did that dance.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's amazing, isn't it?

[Al Jackson]

You know, there is just something. And I. I look at it and opine like an. A sad, older gentleman. But, like, there, when I look at footage from the 80s and 90s and there'll be clips of old nightclubs.

[Pat Godwin]

You know what?

[Al Jackson]

And this might shock you guys, everybody in there is not a 10. They're just regular people. People dancing their balls off.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Sweating.

[Doug Bowles]

Sweating.

[Al Jackson]

And just have it. Just like, there has to be a chart that somebody at Harvard could make in terms of just, like, how people's mentalities have changed since, like, it's 1989. I'm calling up the boys. I'm like, josh, we're getting Chick out of the house. We're going up to Vinny's nightclub.

[Chick McGee]

Here we go.

[Al Jackson]

And we just go. And just. Nobody's taking Tiktoks. Nobody's. You're just getting drunk and dancing with your dumb friends. And that's gotta be so good for your mental health, like, physically and just mentally, to just dance the stress off. And just seeing Josh dance like that, like, first of all, it just made me happy. Like, I just loved it.

[Josh Arnold]

It made me happy. And I missed those days, too, Al. It was great, dude.

[Al Jackson]

I used to go dancing all the time with my friend, and we would just go have fun. And just, like, I think a lot about, like, how much now, like, let's say me and Josh and Chick wanted to go dancing now there's a part of our brains that realizes that if we're not doing something right, we could be being filmed.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Al Jackson]

You know, like, you just. Like, you're never alone to just be a complete goofy human for two hours. And I think that that's something we're all wrestling with.

[Christy Lee]

That's why wedding receptions are so fun. It's the only place you can dance.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

And you can be silly if you want, but. And I was making another point, which is there's a certain self consciousness that is taken over because people think, well, if I do that, I might be. I might show up on.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, I. Maybe I don't. I don't think about that. And maybe that's a problem. Maybe I should start thinking about.

[Al Jackson]

Well, that's because your lawyer has to twice a year. But yeah, it's. Well, I'll tell you, Tom, just to. You know. And Josh. It was something I hadn't thought about either, but I was playing my old home club of the Miami Improv probably maybe three months ago, and I was talking to the green room waiter, and I was. And it's crazy because all the people that were waiters and busboys when I was a young comic are now like the GMs and stuff. So. And I grew up hanging up, hanging out with them. And I just asked the guy, I was like, oh, do you want to see staff hang out after the show? And he just goes, hell, no. And I was. And I, like, I was like, that. That was like the foundation of my comedy career was hanging out with the staff. And I go, why not? And he goes, you know, we just. My generation doesn't get drunk that much because we're always very conscious of being filmed. And plus, like, I don't want to say something blew. I. My first wife was a waitress from the Miami Empress.

[Josh Arnold]

Prof.

[Al Jackson]

I'm sure that's illegal now, but we have beautiful children because of that. And it's like, I don't. I. I do think. And it's. And it kind of dovetails a little bit into this Diana Rossini Vrabel thing. I'm like, would everybody just stop? And stop pretending like you don't understand how you could, like, fall. Fall for somebody at work, meet somebody doing something you love and find out somebody you're attracted to also likes that. I'm not saying. Saying it's the right thing to do. I'm just saying, like, let's not act like we can't grasp the concept. Like, we're looking at the math Problem from goodwill hunting. You understand how you can fall in love with somebody.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, Al, I, a friend of mine that owned a comedy club used to always like it when the comedians would sleep with the waitresses because he knew that he could get him to come back for the same price.

[Al Jackson]

Yes, absolutely. Look, you know, and that it's really be really fascinating because I'm such a, a nerd. I read books about the mafia and just like how these things operate. Not even for the violence, but just the business aspect of it. And the concept of like honey pots, that has taken down kings, that has taken down FBI agents. Like there is all, like all, all it takes is a woman. And business is out the window. Know, people start. I told you guys about that. Our last season at dbl, we had this, this spy, she wrote a book, she was retired. And so we were talking to her via satellite and I was like, oh, what's this? But she comes on, she is like a 47 year old Eastern European smoke show. Like everybody in the studio like stop talking. And you know, she, she had all the, she had fillers in it, but she was smiling so fine and you know, she had that accent. And I've regretted not asking this follow up question my whole career. She goes, I go, and you have something special in your book that you'd like people to look forward to. And she goes, yes. I had a technique that I would use on my male clients and they would all talk.

[Josh Arnold]

Whoa.

[Christy Lee]

And you never thought.

[Al Jackson]

I think I was frozen, Christy Lee. It was the hottest thing I've ever

[Doug Bowles]

heard in my life.

[Josh Arnold]

I was like, I, I, can you

[Al Jackson]

come in studio and we can.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I have a guess.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, I mean, but she said it with such confidence and swag.

[Tom Griswold]

Like, is it in her book even?

[Al Jackson]

Like I'm, yeah, we'll find it for you, Tom.

[Chick McGee]

Hang on.

[Tom Griswold]

No problem.

[Chick McGee]

We'll get her for you.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, I'm gonna come to the studio just like you guys are just taking the book into the bathroom. I'm doing some reading.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, I'm right back.

[Tom Griswold]

Now our guest is comedian Al Jackson. Al is a grew up in Cleveland, Ohio. Are you rooting for the Cav right now?

[Al Jackson]

You know I am. I'm so weird about Al, but you

[Chick McGee]

know my problem, man? I just cannot. I will not, I refuse. And I don't know why I can't cheer for James Harden. I don't know why I, I don't like, I, I don't like that guy. I, I don't know what it is.

[Al Jackson]

I, I, I think I do know why.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, okay.

[Al Jackson]

Because it's hard to cheer for somebody that's perceived as a mercenary.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Are.

[Chick McGee]

You're right.

[Al Jackson]

There are. There are just guys. I think people love Kobe because of this. For the most part, Tom Brady. Except for at the end of People, like, just. Our brains are simple and they're like, one team, play for one team.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

And when you start having that thing where you're a star, but you're kind of somewhere every two years. Harden. Kevin Durant. I was just going to say hall of Famers.

[Chick McGee]

I think you just don't have that,

[Al Jackson]

like, attachment, you know, that's going to

[Chick McGee]

hurt Kevin Durant in the long run, I think. Yeah. I mean, he's won championships, obviously, but. Yeah, well, yeah, but something. It's.

[Al Jackson]

Something goes on with his team. So that's. I mean, if you had a girlfriend where the last four places she'd been, it did not work out, you'd start to look at her

[Chick McGee]

now.

[Tom Griswold]

Al, we got to get to the language aspect of our program today. You always give me a word or two to expand my vocabulary. What have we got today?

[Al Jackson]

Tom, this is one that's actually been trending, and I became fascinated by it. And I wonder if you. And first of all, shout out to you and your marriage. I think that's a beautiful thing. Didn't get a text. I thought we were friends. I'm really.

[Tom Griswold]

No, we.

[Al Jackson]

We.

[Tom Griswold]

We eloped. There was no family people, were there?

[Chick McGee]

It was just no family people.

[Al Jackson]

Tom, you have. You're. We're too old and you have too much money to elope. You can only elope if you're going to be sleeping in your car after the wedding.

[Chick McGee]

All right.

[Al Jackson]

Tom, have you heard the phrase Alpine divorce?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yes. I know what this is.

[Al Jackson]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's. It's potentially evil. An Alpine divorce is a. This. There was just. It was just in the news. There was a case in which it was. You go on a hike with your partner and ditch him or her.

[Christy Lee]

Push him off a cliff.

[Tom Griswold]

In some cases, it ends with. Yeah. And it's been in the news because there are a couple major.

[Christy Lee]

One lady survived.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

She the one that got hit in the head with a rock?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. The Alpine divorce. Take him into the woods and ditch them.

[Christy Lee]

Wow.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

And Christy, it's not even. You know what The. The saddest thing about what Christy Lee just said is pushing somebody off the cliff. That's. I think we can agree that's horrible. But an Alpine divorce is almost worse because you just leave them. I read this one woman and she said she, she went on a hike with this guy and then she said it starts to hit her that he is two or three miles ahead of her.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Al Jackson]

And. And so it's just leaving them. It's not even like a push. You get it over with.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Al Jackson]

Like, this is just like, I'm gonna leave you out in the elements. I'm like, can you just. Whatever happened to breaking up?

[Christy Lee]

No joke. And so not so hard to say, I don't want to be with you.

[Josh Arnold]

So they don't have to be married. It can just be a relationship.

[Tom Griswold]

It can be a date. The article I read sometimes, it was a first date.

[Christy Lee]

Are you kidding?

[Tom Griswold]

They were just ditching them.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, here we are. Here we, Here we are on the trail. Hey, look, I gotta go. This isn't working out. They'd go the other way.

[Chick McGee]

Oh. Oh, yeah.

[Al Jackson]

It's just like. Oh, that's so.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, it's just like another reason not to hike.

[Tom Griswold]

No, but see, what alpine. What Alpine divorce. What Alpine divorce should be is

[Chick McGee]

you

[Tom Griswold]

get divorced and go on a cool ski trip in Switzerland.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And you and your. And your date is the. Was the woman that Al was talking about. There was this 47 year old smoke show.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Kind divorce. Should be just like you skiing after the divorce. And then you just go to a beer house that's got like 10 women that look like the St. Paulie girl working there and you just get hammered looking at women in those scoop top dresses, which every band loves. And I don't. That. That's been. That dress has been popular since like the 800s.

[Christy Lee]

That scoop top, freaky push up princess.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Whatever that is. What's that dress called, Christy?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know what it's called, but yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

The St. Paulie girl.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

What is a Frau Frock?

[Christy Lee]

A Frau Frock?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

No, it's. Let's, let's frog.

[Al Jackson]

That's how misinformation is spread because everybody is like, frau Frock. That's what I said.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

There's got to be a name for that.

[Chick McGee]

It's the.

[Tom Griswold]

It's the. It matches up with the leader hosen. It matches. It's the, it's the ladies version of the leader hose.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

It's got to be a name for it.

[Josh Arnold]

Is that the thing that has kind of the scrunchy top?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Yes, yes. Even if it's not with this segment, I need to know what that Dress is called.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, Al, I will. I'm going to have a party. I mean, we are. We already got married, but I'm going to have a married reception sometime this summer. I will. I will alert you and we'll dance. I expect you to stay at my house.

[Al Jackson]

You know what, Josh? I'm telling you now, I haven't danced in a dog's age. I'm going to come there and I'm going to dance sometimes.

[Pat Godwin]

Reception.

[Josh Arnold]

Heck, yeah, man.

[Chick McGee]

That.

[Al Jackson]

That. He's being very vague about the date just so he can go.

[Tom Griswold]

I thought I told you we haven't nailed it down yet. It's got. It's going to be very complicated.

[Al Jackson]

I can't wait. Congratulations, buddy.

[Tom Griswold]

I love you, man. I mean, I've got.

[Chick McGee]

I've got.

[Tom Griswold]

I've got kids at camp and.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, sure.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, getting a date wherever. We can actually be there. This is. This is the reason it's great to elope. Otherwise, you're going to spend. If you do a regular wedding, then you've got people.

[Al Jackson]

It's a year of your life.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, people come down and they're crabby and they're missing something and they can. I was supposed to be at a horse farm. Okay, just never mind.

[Chick McGee]

I was supposed to be at the horse farm.

[Tom Griswold]

See, that's what I'm saying.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Thanks, Al. Always. Hey, I noticed you're doing a facial hair thing. You got a little.

[Al Jackson]

You know what?

[Tom Griswold]

I. There.

[Al Jackson]

I didn't shake. I forget because I. I cut my beard down. Down. But I didn't get this little part. So I'm looking very bass player from corn right now. So I gotta get that off.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

It's no. It's a little desperate. I'd get rid of it.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I like it.

[Christy Lee]

I found the answer. It's a Durindi. It's a German Durindi dress. D I, R, I N, D I.

[Tom Griswold]

That sounds Australian.

[Christy Lee]

I'm just.

[Al Jackson]

Why don't they bring those back? They're always like, bell bottoms are back. This year. You're like, shut up. No one wants. I want the scoop dress, the rindy thing. Give it a cooler name.

[Tom Griswold]

And yoga pants are in the hall of fame and will never go away. Right? Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

I think I'm almost over yoga.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Al Jackson]

Look, look, I will take. I'll say this. I will stand on it. I will take a sundress over yoga pants. Because, yes, yoga pants, you can see everything great. But a sundress, bro, when the wind hits it just right. You can just see the outline line of the silhouette, and the rest is your imagination. Come holl at me.

[Chick McGee]

You know, you had me at sun.

[Tom Griswold]

Sundress, bro.

[Josh Arnold]

I like that.

[Al Jackson]

A sundress chick. When they're just crossing the street and it's just like, it, it. It. It's humble enough, but it's still like a beautiful woman. It's gorgeous. So, yeah, absolutely. I'll take a sundress.

[Chick McGee]

Just crash into me.

[Tom Griswold]

Thanks. Hey, thank you.

[Josh Arnold]

Love ya.

[Christy Lee]

Bye.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's great. Now I'm gonna tell you about something. You might have been reading about this, or maybe I'll do it this way. You live in a neighborhood. One of your neighbors sold their house. You've always thought your house was better than their house. You saw what they sold it for, and you went, what?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

How's that possible? Well, what's happening is, for whatever reason, the price of housing has gone way up, which can cause problems for a lot of people. But it might be something that could help you out, because without selling your house, you can take advantage of the fact that it's worth more by taking advantage of the equity that you've got in that house by going to American Financing. They specialize in doing the refinance dance, if you will. We were talking about dancing. What it involves is getting an assessment of what your house is worth and redoing your loan. In fact, right now, American Financing, the numbers they sent me, their average client right now, now they're saving them about 800 bucks a month. They also have a program up and running right now. If you get going today, that could delay even two mortgage payments. So if you're underwater with something, this might be a good time to take advantage of what's going on in the marketplace and pull some money out of your house by doing a refi. Talk to the folks that know. Don't listen to me. I'm not a finance guy. But they can take about 10 minutes of time and do a quick assessment and give you kind of a ballpark on how this might work for you. So if this is the situation you're in, give it a shot and let me. There's no obligation. Just give. Give them a call, see what's going on. Their phone number is 866-889-2611. It's probably easier to remember the address on the web. Of course. It's American financing.net and please throw in a slash, Bob and Tom, so they know we sent you american financing.net nmls182334 nmlsconsumeraccess.org APR for rates in the five started 6.327%. For well qualified borrowers. Call 866-889-2611. For details about credit costs and terms, visit american financing.net bobandtom Average savings based on borrowers who save over $199.99.

[Chick McGee]

Hello and welcome back to the Bob and Tom show with the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. the news desk, it's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Hey. There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick mcgee. And there he is. Hello, Tom Griswold.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Chick mcgee.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's see now. Are you gonna make your Kentucky Derby picks tomorrow?

[Chick McGee]

Sure. Yeah. Okay. You got it, bud.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, this is the sports desk.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, it sure is. I'll have it for you, my earthling friends detecting. I will have it for you.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. I'll tell you what.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, indeed, earthlings.

[Tom Griswold]

It's been a good week. You've been attentive.

[Chick McGee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

And cooperative every four hours of the show each day this week. You can bail now. It's okay. You. You. You can. You can be hostile.

[Chick McGee]

Come on.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's okay. Just be. Be yourself.

[Chick McGee]

No, it's not the same if I don't. If I'm not feeling hostile, it's not the same.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, you're not?

[Chick McGee]

No. I'd have to put it on if I have to fake it. Yeah, I don't want to. I don't want to fake hostile. I want real hospital.

[Tom Griswold]

I can get to that.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, I know you can. Christy.

[Tom Griswold]

What do you got going over there?

[Christy Lee]

Car X spelled with a K. The world's top condom maker says it's raising his prices by 20 to 30%. Their CEO Go. Maya Kayak yet told Reuters that while accompany.

[Tom Griswold]

What? Where's that guy from?

[Christy Lee]

I have no idea.

[Tom Griswold]

How do you spell his name?

[Chick McGee]

Go.

[Christy Lee]

G. O H. I like that. M I H. K I A T.

[Tom Griswold]

That's he's got like, what if he drives a KO Fly?

[Christy Lee]

He said the company is seeing a surge in demand, but the supply chain disruptions due to the Iran war have led to lower stockpiles than usual.

[Chick McGee]

Thanks, Obama.

[Tom Griswold]

We're running out of rubbers.

[Christy Lee]

We're running out of getting them to where they need to go.

[Tom Griswold]

So these rubbers are all on the ships stuck in the Straits of Hormuz.

[Christy Lee]

I guess Costs have increased for everything from synthetic rubber and nitrate used in manufacturing condoms to the packaging materials and even the lubricants.

[Josh Arnold]

Right. It's not the condoms that are stuck on ships. It's the petroleum needed to help make these.

[Tom Griswold]

So they're raising their prices.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Christy Lee]

Mr. Go so does. Why is Mr. Go and not Mr. Kait? But anyway, hey, look, a lot of

[Tom Griswold]

this is what happens.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

This is what happens when you let foreigners involved.

[Josh Arnold]

Foreigners get wacky. Things happen.

[Christy Lee]

He said, and I quote, the situation is definitely very fragile. Fragile. Prices are expensive. We have no choice but to transfer the costs right now to the customer.

[Tom Griswold]

This is another reason to pull out.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Of the war.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean not.

[Tom Griswold]

Not the.

[Chick McGee]

Ah.

[Christy Lee]

Car x produces over 5 billion condoms and is a supplier to leading brands like Durex and Trojan. The top billion a year.

[Chick McGee]

Top three condom makers in the world by production volume. Number three. Three. Church and Dwight.

[Josh Arnold]

They do good work.

[Chick McGee]

They're a maker of Trojans.

[Tom Griswold]

That's not the Catholic church.

[Chick McGee]

Number one, Noah's Car X Berhard. That's Malaysia. But the number two.

[Tom Griswold]

Josh.

[Chick McGee]

Number two, condominium. Wreck it Bankizer.

[Tom Griswold]

A German.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Maker of Durex. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Whoa.

[Josh Arnold]

You guys ever try to skin sk. Yes.

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

Best on the market.

[Chick McGee]

Sky.

[Tom Griswold]

Those the ones made out of lamb guts or something?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

No.

[Chick McGee]

What? They're very sheer.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm guessing you can actually feel something with them.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

They feel like skin. That's the name.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember the commercial Josh was in?

[Christy Lee]

No, I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. The guy comes out, he goes, what's in your wallet? And Josh walks out and goes, a six year old skin condom.

[Chick McGee]

He just can't help.

[Josh Arnold]

That's one of my best friends.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I know.

[Pat Godwin]

Six years old.

[Chick McGee]

If you need to. You know what? If you needed. They've never done that.

[Tom Griswold]

That what's in your wallet. They've never done that gag. I bet it's right there.

[Chick McGee]

You said, you know, I need to talk with someone. It might very well be Tom.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Christy Lee]

Where do kids put their condoms now? Because they don't carry wallets.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't. I mean we have. We've had story after story. They're not having sex.

[Tom Griswold]

I tell you what.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Chick McGee]

I got a wallet.

[Tom Griswold]

I wonder if they make this. I don't know if they do. Okay. I know someone that they. They. I'm sure you've seen this.

[Christy Lee]

They have the thing on the back of their.

[Tom Griswold]

They have the. The phone and it has a Thing on the back.

[Josh Arnold]

Almost like a money clip or a.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but there's also one that holds. Have you seen the one that holds your chapstick?

[Josh Arnold]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Or your makeup? Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Huh.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's. It's obviously three dimensional.

[Christy Lee]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Instead of just being slots where you can put credit cards. Cards. It. It sticks out like a 3/4 of an inch.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And there's a slot in there, and you put your makeup. Or your lipstick. Lipstick. Maybe they make. Do they make one for condoms?

[Josh Arnold]

Maybe.

[Tom Griswold]

That'd be pretty bold, though. Well, we were on the first date. Suddenly he had a phone call. He answered, and right There was a 12 inch Maxo. Maxo condom. And I thought, ooh, this guy must be special.

[Josh Arnold]

No, I mean, I'd never take condoms anywhere. The woman should have them in her nightstand. Birth control is 100% the woman's responsibility.

[Christy Lee]

Of course.

[Tom Griswold]

Once again, Josh anchors the world a New Jersey man.

[Josh Arnold]

So

[Tom Griswold]

I'm sorry, did you say they raised their prices 40%?

[Christy Lee]

20 to 30%.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, okay. But still, that's interesting.

[Christy Lee]

What do condoms cost?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a good question.

[Christy Lee]

I have never bought a condom in my life.

[Chick McGee]

Five bucks. Rubber.

[Christy Lee]

I just.

[Josh Arnold]

I get them. I get them free at the park.

[Pat Godwin]

They hand them out down there.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, you find them and you rinse them out.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, well, the good thing about. The good thing about the floaters is, you know, that there's. There's not a hole in them.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

You pick them up scre

[Josh Arnold]

and sink.

[Chick McGee]

I pick up mine at the park.

[Tom Griswold]

Didn't we have a. Didn't we have a hallucinating. Didn't we have a letter? It was either an Ali Breen letter or something where the.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Dangling from the shower was a. Yeah,

[Josh Arnold]

I used that like. Why? What is going on? Because we had dental floss one time where the person was hanging the dental floss on, like the bathroom doorknob as if they were just going to use it.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

And then we had. Somebody was like, drying out their condoms or something.

[Christy Lee]

No, no, no, no.

[Chick McGee]

I bet that dental floss guy's the same one who separates the two ply tissue and uses the one ply. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Really? I hope that guy has a nail clipper and a toothbrush to clean underneath.

[Christy Lee]

A New Jersey man is in custody for allegedly operating a vending machine company that was selling marijuana. Mr. Ben Gross, the owner of barbed wire, had been illegally selling marijuana products across the state at businesses not licensed to sell the drugs. The 40 year old has been earned, earning between 17 and 20 thousand dollars a day from his vending machine.

[Josh Arnold]

He's an earner.

[Tom Griswold]

What's the problem?

[Christy Lee]

He was arrested on numerous charges, Tom, while 80 of his vending machines were seized.

[Josh Arnold]

What's the problem? He's not supposed to be selling drugs.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. In a vending.

[Josh Arnold]

He's not licensed to do it.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, that's illegal.

[Christy Lee]

You can have a kid walk up

[Tom Griswold]

there making 20 grand a day. I bet the Coke machine's really making big money. So do they have the license? It has to be a licensed dealer.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know. I don't know of any marijuana vending machines in the world. It seems like that.

[Tom Griswold]

You and I were talking about that hotel. They have a champagne machine in the lobby.

[Chick McGee]

Well.

[Tom Griswold]

But little bottles of champagne.

[Josh Arnold]

Not. Not illegal necessarily to.

[Tom Griswold]

But, I mean, I don't know how they would check IDs on that thing.

[Pat Godwin]

They must, though, right?

[Christy Lee]

You must be able. They can scan your id. You would, but you could get your mom's ID and bring it down.

[Tom Griswold]

That's true.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know.

[Pat Godwin]

Write that down.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Retina scan. Just take the eyeball out of her head.

[Josh Arnold]

Exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

Is it in New Jersey? Is it the legal weed?

[Christy Lee]

I have no idea.

[Tom Griswold]

So just. I guess the problem would be that it's not being taxed. Well, no, no. Well, that too, probably, now that I think about it.

[Josh Arnold]

Now that you think about it. Christie said it.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no.

[Tom Griswold]

But I don't think it's the tax. I think it's the. I guess. I know.

[Chick McGee]

You think you're omnipotent, don't you?

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

You don't own our.

[Tom Griswold]

Think about that. Yes. No, no. I'm just saying. Are they upset because it's. There's no one checking the IDs and all that stuff?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know. I wish I had the rest of the story. I would tell.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Well, I mean, New Jersey is the Garden State of it, but they've got really good pot.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah. Okay. They grow very nice things in New Jersey. A recent survey on vacation compatibility reveals

[Josh Arnold]

New Jersey isn't the Garden State. Ironically, it's. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

A lot of gardening anymore. 90% of New Jersey is lovely.

[Josh Arnold]

There's a lot of digging.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's just. It's just.

[Christy Lee]

It's a bad rap.

[Tom Griswold]

It's just the universal.

[Josh Arnold]

Of course.

[Chick McGee]

It's got the perfect rap. Okay, calm down.

[Tom Griswold]

Go to Basking Ridge. Get back to me.

[Josh Arnold]

I wouldn't go to Basking Ridge if somebody paid.

[Tom Griswold]

They wouldn't let you in.

[Josh Arnold]

Drug me by my wiener they wouldn't let you in. You like?

[Christy Lee]

Well, if you were to go to wherever he just said. With Tom, you might face some traveling challenges.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, welcome to Snootyville.

[Christy Lee]

The poll of 2,000 U.S. adults conducted by Talker Research found 75% of Americans believe.

[Chick McGee]

My problem is with talker research. They just won't shut up.

[Tom Griswold]

On and on and on, on and on.

[Christy Lee]

Okay, I'll use it this way. Do you think you would be a good room roommate traveling?

[Josh Arnold]

I. I am. Yes, I am. I'm more courteous than you might think.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

But I would prefer not to do that. I'm a grown man who wants his own hotel room.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. What about you, Chick?

[Chick McGee]

I am much better, like solo on my own traveling. Okay, Pat, because I don't want to bother anybody.

[Pat Godwin]

Better solo. I got my whole thing. I get there early to the airport like Tom does, and I.

[Josh Arnold]

But Pat, you and I. Whatever.

[Pat Godwin]

And we've. Where we've.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I have no idea.

[Pat Godwin]

Suck it up.

[Tom Griswold]

And we're perfect. I think we all. The perfect roommate is a roommate that can afford their own room. Let's face it.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. 75% of Americans, though, believe they are the perfect travel companion or roommate.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I know that's not.

[Christy Lee]

No, that seems high, doesn't it?

[Tom Griswold]

Ask the people the. That they're going with.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

They're asking the wrong person. Yeah, we're all going to say, oh, we'd be a pretty good roommate.

[Christy Lee]

Vacation mates usually clash about what to eat.

[Tom Griswold]

I do that at home.

[Christy Lee]

Taking a long time to get ready.

[Tom Griswold]

I do that at home.

[Christy Lee]

Making plans.

[Tom Griswold]

I do that at home.

[Christy Lee]

Choosing something to watch on TV and snoring.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't do that. Yeah, that's got to be one of the.

[Chick McGee]

Are you done? Do you know store anymore?

[Tom Griswold]

Is that apparently not true?

[Chick McGee]

Okay, cool.

[Tom Griswold]

My dog does. I know because he's sleeping right next to my face.

[Chick McGee]

Face.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. 41%.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah. I played it before it the other day.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you get the dog having the dream where they're running, you look down at their feet?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Gotta wake her up.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

What are you doing?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, you never wake a sleeping dog.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah. You got to. Then you open their mouth, put ice. Ice cubes in their mouth. That'll break them of it.

[Tom Griswold]

So what else do vacationers have to say?

[Christy Lee]

The average respondent wants two hours a day of alone time on vacation. Vacation. Two hours?

[Chick McGee]

More like eight to ten hours.

[Christy Lee]

More than half are likely to plan shorter trips when they know they're sharing smaller spaces. Ah, 41 of those surveyed get first dibs on their bed of choice and dresser space and shower time. That doesn't sound like someone. It's a good vacation, buddy.

[Pat Godwin]

Are these couples or strangers?

[Josh Arnold]

What's going on?

[Chick McGee]

Whoever these people are traveling with this like each other.

[Tom Griswold]

These aren't couples.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, that makes sense, though.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Pat, you've traveled all over the world.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, 50 states and many, many, many countries. Give him Miami. I sang Twist and Shout with him at a wedding.

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

You're by yourself, huh? You go. You go. In the average hotel room, you're by yourself. There's two. There's two doubles.

[Chick McGee]

You know, Pat can be totally by himself in a giant crowd. Did you know that?

[Pat Godwin]

That's true. I'm a man trapped in my own thoughts.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, that's good. That's not where we're going with this. The question is, is which bed?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, it's by the door.

[Tom Griswold]

No, the one closest to the door.

[Pat Godwin]

Closest to the door.

[Christy Lee]

Closest to the window.

[Josh Arnold]

No door. I'm with Godwin on this. No, because it tends to be closest to the bathroom, and it's no close to the window.

[Chick McGee]

So if somebody comes in, you can get out the window. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Do you lay out on the ninth floor, dummy?

[Chick McGee]

Well, I'm not gonna get knived, am I?

[Tom Griswold]

Do you spread your stuff out on the bed? On the one bed.

[Pat Godwin]

I. I can put a guitar up there and some clothing that I'm ready get ready to wear for that night's show.

[Christy Lee]

Do you unpack even if you're there for a night?

[Pat Godwin]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Usually. No.

[Josh Arnold]

Greg Warren once called me a psychopath because I use the dresser in a hotel.

[Christy Lee]

I use a dresser hotel.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. That's not.

[Josh Arnold]

It's divisive.

[Chick McGee]

That's not normal.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it is.

[Pat Godwin]

You got to be ready to bug out early flight.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Let me tell you something. You got to be able to say whatever you got. You say goodbye in 30 seconds and

[Pat Godwin]

knock on the door.

[Tom Griswold]

You.

[Chick McGee]

You're out of there. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

No, because my suitcase is then for the dirty clothes, which are properly folded, like as though they were clean.

[Chick McGee]

Is that right?

[Josh Arnold]

I may have a problem.

[Tom Griswold]

You fold your dirty clothes rather than roll them up so you.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I fold them back like I would if they were clean because the suitcase closes easier, though.

[Chick McGee]

Do you do the Oliver Hardy motions as you're packing suitcase?

[Josh Arnold]

Boxers and socks.

[Chick McGee]

I thought so.

[Tom Griswold]

How do you know that they're dirty, then?

[Josh Arnold]

The semen there.

[Chick McGee]

Is that what you want?

[Josh Arnold]

The semen and gravy?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, now what you once you're done. Once you're done packing the hooker up, then what do you do?

[Christy Lee]

Don't you wash all your clothes, even if you didn't wear them if you were on a trip?

[Josh Arnold]

Sometimes, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Well, especially this guy because we, we. We were at this huge bonfire. Bonfires are great. And the next morning you wake up and it's like, whoa.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah, we were definitely at a bonfire.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, wait a minute. Look at the time. Chris Steely, how did you get here this morning?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I got here in my wonderful Tucson Hybrid from Hyundai. That's right, the SUV of choice for me. And it has America's best warranty. But maybe you want something a tad bit bigger. Maybe something that'll go a little more off road. Then you'll want to check out the Santa Fe hybrid. It has the power to navigate the toughest terrain, but both cars come with wonderful, wonderful lane assist, driver assist those cameras all the way around. So I haven't backed into a pole in years. I love it. Hybrids from Hyundai. It's the best of both worlds. And you'll find them at your local, local Hyundai dealer. Somebody sent me a picture this morning from the Deland Hyundai. Oh, yeah, Tommy, where was it? In Deland, Florida. I wonder why they called it Deland.

[Tom Griswold]

It's near to sea.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you. Visit Hyundai USA.com or call 562-314-4603 for all the details. Check out the hybrids from Hyundai.

[Tom Griswold]

Chick, did your.

[Chick McGee]

Did you have.

[Tom Griswold]

You had a dog growing up, right?

[Chick McGee]

No. No, I was not allowed to have a dog.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, Josh, did you.

[Chick McGee]

A dog?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, we. I grew up with dogs all the. Almost every year of my life because

[Tom Griswold]

my mom used to always say when Duffy, our dog, would be asleep and you'd see him running his feet like he's moving his legs, and she'd go, oh, he's dreaming about chasing a rabbit. Do rabbits dream about being chased by dogs? Maybe that's one of those questions I'm gonna when I get to heaven.

[Chick McGee]

I got.

[Tom Griswold]

I got a couple questions here.

[Christy Lee]

First off, that's one Hitler.

[Tom Griswold]

How'd that happen?

[Josh Arnold]

Your first question used to be, how did I get here?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, there's.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a minute.

[Chick McGee]

There's a problem with paperwork somewhere.

[Tom Griswold]

What do you mean? This is not my room. You're prepping it.

[Chick McGee]

What the hell?

[Tom Griswold]

We will return to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Just gotta get a hold of us. Call, text, or email. Get all the contact information you [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick mcgee. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Chick mcgee. We had an interesting story this morning about some monks.

[Christy Lee]

Yep. And 22 Sri Lankan monks were arrested at the Interview International Airport in Sri Lanka after they were caught trying to smuggle 242 pounds of cannabis discovered in their luggage. So that's a four day vacation.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a lot of weed.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah, there. There's some distribution, I think, in mind.

[Chick McGee]

I went to the animal fair. They.

[Tom Griswold]

They must have been pretty stupid just

[Christy Lee]

to have, you know, put it in their luggage. Yeah, well, maybe they thought because they were monks, nobody would look twice.

[Tom Griswold]

I wonder if they're real monks.

[Christy Lee]

You don't think they're real monks?

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, you know, you get the robe.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I guess you could dress like a monk, couldn't you?

[Chick McGee]

Shave your head, get the robe and the sandals.

[Josh Arnold]

You ever see those male stripper monks, Chip? Monks?

[Tom Griswold]

Hang on a sec.

[Al Jackson]

Nope.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, Chippendales.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, well, they're criminals. They're felonious monks.

[Tom Griswold]

Boy, those are both. Almost. Almost.

[Chick McGee]

What about close that hot shots, where the one monk has just like takes his robe off. He's just ripped. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I love the scene on Airplane. No longer valid, though.

[Christy Lee]

Which one?

[Tom Griswold]

The Hari Krishna guys. Whatever happened to them?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

They packed it in, man.

[Tom Griswold]

They quit. They met. They met Mr. Christian.

[Chick McGee]

I think it's more of a. More personal.

[Tom Griswold]

I see.

[Josh Arnold]

I thought they were like off themselves. What with swords? They committed harm. Kari Krishna.

[Tom Griswold]

That's two in a row.

[Josh Arnold]

You should have let me leave at 9:30.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I'm with you, Pat. You have a song about the marijuana?

[Pat Godwin]

Everywhere I go it smells like weed at the grocery store it's guaranteed Even standing in line at the DMV Everywhere I go it smells like weed oh, you know it does Take my son to school Is that river I smell I smell pot at my hotel Ganjas in the air on every street at the gym in my church Smells like

[Josh Arnold]

weed

[Pat Godwin]

I went to Tacoma There was a marijuana Roma, Sanibel and Captiva

[Chick McGee]

oh,

[Pat Godwin]

smells like cannabis sativa Smells like cannabis sativa On a plane ride home it reeks of weed the tsa, they all agreed My suitcase smells like stems and seeds Everywhere I go smells like, like weed My hair and my clothes smell like weed maybe I shouldn't smoke so much weed.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much, Patty G. Now, we certainly enjoyed your company today. Yeah, we appreciate you and all the people you stand.

[Chick McGee]

Well, thank you, Tom, for appreciate it.

[Tom Griswold]

You're welcome. What's coming up tomorrow?

[Chick McGee]

Tomorrow will be a Friday.

[Tom Griswold]

It'll be our Kentucky Derby trip tribute.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, we'll pick a winner. Pick me a winner.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, Christy, you've already made your Derby pick.

[Christy Lee]

So Happy.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the name of the name of the horse.

[Christy Lee]

So Happy.

[Chick McGee]

Six to one.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

When was it along? There was a long shot.

[Christy Lee]

It was either last year or two years ago. Yeah, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Like 30 to 1 or something.

[Tom Griswold]

People cleaned up the best two minutes

[Chick McGee]

in sports, whatever it is down the stretch. They.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, well, we'll do that tomorrow, among other things. We also have an exciting news story tomorrow about in the world of squirrels. Yeah, I know what you're saying. I'm gonna get up early.

[Chick McGee]

Let me tell you something. If it's not Rocky the Flying Squirrel, I don't want to know about it. Okay. Thank you very much.

[Tom Griswold]

These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning, even though we're not too much to look at. You can also watch the show on our YouTube channel, the Hammer Alley Podcast,

[Pat Godwin]

an 80s flashback mockumentary.

[Tom Griswold]

Back in the 80s, there were a thousand bands trying to make it in the world of rock. But there was one band that had it all. Hammer Alley. Whatever happened to Hammer Alley?

[Chick McGee]

How did they go from top of the rock?

[Pat Godwin]

I'm looking for a music video. They're a band from 1987, Hammer Alley. Ever heard of them? To rock bottom.

[Tom Griswold]

Dude, I was born in 1987.

[Christy Lee]

I can't believe he's doing this.

[Josh Arnold]

Hammer Alley.

[Announcer]

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