The BOB & TOM Show - April 8, 2025

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show - April 8, 2025 Hosted by The BOB & TOM Show | Cumulus Podcast Network

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Birthday Celebrations

Timestamp: [04:35]

The show kicks off with a heartfelt celebration of Willie Griswold's birthday. The hosts, including Pat Godwin, Tom Griswold, Frank Caliendo, Josh Arnold, Chick McGee, and guest Daniel the Decorator, shower Willie with birthday wishes and humorous greetings.

Notable Quote:

• Frank Caliendo: "Happy birthday, Willie Griswold." [05:15]

Willie shares a laugh about his ongoing battle with growing facial hair, prompting playful banter among the hosts.

Sports News: NCAA Basketball Tournament

Timestamp: [09:57]

The hosts dive into the latest from the NCAA basketball tournament, highlighting Florida's impressive come-from-behind victory over Houston with a final score of 65-63. They discuss key moments, including Florida's Larry Clayton Jr.'s decisive defensive play that halted Houston's Emanuel Sharp from taking a game-winning shot in the final seconds.

Notable Quote:

• Frank Caliendo: "Clayton finished with 11 points, but what he'll be remembered for most was getting Houston's Emanuel Sharp to stop in the middle of his motion as he tried to go up for the game-winning three." [10:16]

The conversation touches on bracket predictions and the unpredictability of the tournament outcome.

Comedy Bits: Golf Anecdotes and Listener Letters

Timestamp: [01:51]

The segment features a series of golf-related anecdotes, including Frank Caliendo's encounter with a quirky divorcée seeking a golfing partner and a bizarre incident involving an overcoated golfer's unexpected reveal.

Notable Quote:

• Frank Caliendo: "It's the golfer's life for me. Golf, golf, golf. It suits me to a tee." [02:56]

Listener participation comes into play with letters sharing old family sayings, such as:

• Letter from Brian: "When it was cold outside, it's so cold you could freeze the balls off a pool table." [18:26]

The hosts humorously dissect these sayings, blending nostalgia with comedic commentary.

Death Grip Syndrome Discussion

Timestamp: [58:26]

A humorous yet candid discussion unfolds around the topic of "Death Grip Syndrome," a term introduced by an Internal Medicine physician discussing the impact of excessive gripping during masturbation on men's sexual sensitivity.

Notable Quote:

• Pat Godwin: "Reversing the effects involves using a gentler touch. Well, duh." [58:35]

The hosts mockingly explore solutions, likening them to golf coaching techniques, and engage in playful banter about adopting healthier habits.

Wildlife News: Geese at Wrigley Field & Resurrecting Dire Wolves

Timestamp: [27:58] & [150:00]

Geese at Wrigley Field: The show reports on the unusual sight of two Canada geese nesting near center field at Wrigley Field, causing disruptions during Chicago Cubs games. The geese have led to blocked sections of bleachers, prompting the team to consider measures to manage the feathery intruders.

Notable Quote:

• Frank Caliendo: "They're more like banana hoods." [20:36]

Resurrecting Dire Wolves: Shifting to a more serious note, the hosts discuss a scientific endeavor by Colossal Biosciences to bring back the extinct dire wolf using gene editing. They debate the ethical and ecological implications of introducing these massive predators back into the wild.

Notable Quote:

• Frank Caliendo: "This is a terrible idea." [152:23]

The conversation highlights concerns about ecological balance and the unforeseen consequences of de-extinction projects.

Technology & Product Promotions: Field of Dreams Whiskey & Java House

Timestamp: [12:06] & [157:11]

Field of Dreams Whiskey: Frank Caliendo introduces Field of Dreams whiskey, a bourbon made from corn harvested at the iconic Field of Dreams site in Iowa. Each bottle honors a major league baseball player, making it an ideal gift for baseball enthusiasts.

Notable Quote:

• Frank Caliendo: "It's baseball history in a glass." [12:53]

Java House Promotion: The hosts promote Java House's Peel and Pour coffee cups, emphasizing their convenience and versatility for both hot and cold beverages. A special discount code is shared for listeners to enjoy a 25% off their orders.

Notable Quote:

• Frank Caliendo: "Java House is the way to go. Visit javahouse.com and use promo code Bob and Tom for 25% off." [32:16]

Guest Appearance: Frank Caliendo & Dusty Slay

Timestamp: [03:22] & [146:57]

Frank Caliendo: Frank Caliendo, a renowned comedian, joins the show multiple times, sharing personal stories, engaging in comedic dialogues, and participating in sketches. His interactions add a dynamic and humorous layer to the show.

Dusty Slay: Comedian Dusty Slay appears via Zoom, discussing his stand-up tour and sharing amusing anecdotes about his experiences on the road. The chemistry between Dusty and Frank elevates the comedic energy of the episode.

Notable Quote:

• Dusty Slay: "I love to stay at the YMCA." [39:10]

Science News: Cow Urine Myths & Animal Conservation

Timestamp: [65:31]

The hosts delve into the myth surrounding cow urine as a cure for COVID-19, referencing a member of the Indian parliament who advocated for this unscientific remedy. They debunk the notion with medical insights and emphasize the importance of evidence-based practices.

Notable Quote:

• Tom Griswold: "Dr. Aziz said urinating is the body's method of expelling toxins. By drinking urine, you're putting the toxins back into your body." [65:08]

The segment underscores the dangers of pseudoscience and the critical role of medical professionals in guiding public health.

Wrap-Up & Show Announcements

Timestamp: [157:31]

As the show nears its end, the hosts recap upcoming events, including Frank Caliendo's comedy tour and special performances with Willie G. They also remind listeners of ongoing promotions and product endorsements, maintaining the show's lively and engaging atmosphere.

Notable Quote:

• Frank Caliendo: "We're hanging out with Frank Caliendo and Dusty Slay, enjoying the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show." [157:31]

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Conclusion

The April 8, 2025 episode of The BOB & TOM Show masterfully blends sports commentary, comedic banter, listener interactions, and timely science news. With engaging guest appearances and a variety of topics, the show delivers entertainment that caters to a wide audience, ensuring both humor and informative discussions throughout its runtime.

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For those who missed the episode, subscribing to the BOB & TOM Show VIP podcast at BobAndTom.com/VIP ensures you won't miss any of the action, all commercial-free.

Transcript

[Christy Lee]

Are you someone who tries to drive while distracted by your phone? Someone who props it on the steering wheel or peeks down at it for a glance? Or just scrolls and scrolls? If so, you could be the next person to get into a fender bender, get a ticket, veer off the road, or even cause a crash that kills you or someone else. Enough already. Put the phone away or pay. Paid for by nhtsa.

[Josh Arnold]

This episode is.

[Frank Caliendo]

Brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians.

[Pat Godwin]

These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds.

[Frank Caliendo]

Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in.

[Pat Godwin]

Full, owning a home and more.

[Frank Caliendo]

Plus, you can count on their great.

[Pat Godwin]

Customer service to help you when you need it. So your dollar goes a long way.

[Frank Caliendo]

Visit progressive.com to see.

[Pat Godwin]

You could save on car insurance, Progressive.

[Frank Caliendo]

Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates.

[Pat Godwin]

Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations. It's the Bob and Tom Show.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hi, I'm Martin. And I'm Barton. And I'm Fargo. It's a lovely day. What say we hit the links?

[Josh Arnold]

Jolly good.

[Frank Caliendo]

I could go for a game of golf. That reminds me. It was just a couple days ago, while golfing at the course, I met a lovely lady who just got a divorce. She was looking for a partner.

[Dusty Slay]

Now that was plain to see.

[Josh Arnold]

She said, if you've got the balls.

[Frank Caliendo]

You can play around with me. And she rubbed my bag for luck. It was just a couple days ago, while at the driving range, I saw a gent in an overcoat acting very strange. Then he dropped his trousers, revealing everything. Did you grab your clubs and go? No, I stayed to watch him swing. He was the long, longest player on the tour. Talk about your front nine. And it's 1, 2, 3, 4, aim it at the pin, stroke it nice and easy, right before you put it in. Golf, golf, golf. It suits me to a tee.

[Dusty Slay]

I always have a ball.

[Josh Arnold]

It's the golfer's life for me.

[Frank Caliendo]

I say, Fargo, do you remember your best ball? Oh, yes. Her name was Daphne. She was a barmaid at the 19th hole at St. Andrews. She told me I reminded her of Arnold Palmer repeatedly. Arnold, yes. Speaking of young ladies, I was out on the golf course one day with a lovely young lady, and she was stung by a bee. Oh, dreadful. Where was she stung? Hmm. Right between the first and second hole. My goodness.

[Pat Godwin]

Sounds like her stance was too wide.

[Frank Caliendo]

I say, boys, if I am ever out in the course and struck by lightning and killed, I want to be reincarnated as a lesbian. Why a lesbian? Well, I still want to make love to women, but I want a hit from the red tees. Very good. It was just a couple days ago I met a lovely. We finished 18 hoes, and we sprawled out on the grass in the heat of passion, we began to intertwine. Did you finish over par?

[Josh Arnold]

No, we had a 69.

[Frank Caliendo]

My strokes weren't the only things that were shaved that day. And it's 1, 2, 3, 4. Golfing is our goal. We love to grip the shaft and put it in the hole. Golf, golf, golf.

[Josh Arnold]

It suits me to a T. I.

[Dusty Slay]

Always have a ball.

[Josh Arnold]

It's the golfing.

[Frank Caliendo]

Die for me.

[Pat Godwin]

Ah. If that doesn't make you want to hit the links, I don't know what will.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, that'll. That'll do. Who are those guys?

[Pat Godwin]

They were Barton and Martin and.

[Frank Caliendo]

Far Go.

[Willie Griswold]

That's right.

[Pat Godwin]

It's the Bob and Tom Show. There's Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance Company news desk.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello.

[Pat Godwin]

Pat Godwin's there.

[Willie Griswold]

Hey, Josh.

[Pat Godwin]

Willie G. Across the way@the originsouls.com sports desk.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, man.

[Pat Godwin]

We're all here at the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. I'm Josh [e-mail] Sidekick chair. And there's Tommy.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, thank you very much, Josh Arnold. Let's do that newsman news lady thing where you call everybody by their first name every time.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm happy to do that, Tom.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, no, I'm happy to do that, Tom Griswold.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, you mean first and last.

[Frank Caliendo]

Sorry.

[Pat Godwin]

No, that's okay.

[Frank Caliendo]

Thank you, Mad Godwin.

[Willie Griswold]

Thank you, Tom.

[Frank Caliendo]

Happy birthday, Willie Griswold.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. Happy birthday, Willie Griswold.

[Chick McGee]

I. Christy, you walked in the studio. You said it immediately. I was hoping to see how long it would take my dad to say something.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, I said it yesterday, so. I mean, that is day ahead.

[Tom Griswold]

He told you yesterday.

[Chick McGee]

No way. You said it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, I did. On the air radio. I didn't say when I saw you. Well, that wasn't your birthday to his.

[Willie Griswold]

Face after a hug and a kiss.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh. The first thing I said to him I saw him was, you're keeping mustache.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. That's fun. Way to start the birthday then. I guess we're open. Thank you. I like the mustache, too, man. I've been working on it. It's been going since December. I thought it'd be a little more full by now. I'm not letting it discourage me from trying.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't give up.

[Pat Godwin]

It doesn't look not full.

[Chick McGee]

Thank You.

[Pat Godwin]

I appreciate it.

[Willie Griswold]

Looks a lot better.

[Chick McGee]

It's. There's a little. There's a lot. There are some. Some people call them gray hairs. I think they're still blonde hairs. I think that I'm just still going through puberty. I don't have the full brunette on the face yet.

[Tom Griswold]

I got that call last week. Mom, when did you start going gray? And I go, I don't know. When you were born? I don't know.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, I think usually when you. As soon as. As soon as they turn 13, there it comes. No one ever gives teenagers the credit for making their parents grow so old.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. She goes, I found three or four gray hairs. And I go, oh, that's all right. Your grandmother was gray, but she was 20, 28, I think, so. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

So you're gonna stick with the stash?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I like it, man.

[Willie Griswold]

Does your lady like the stash?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, she likes it. And I have one joke that involves the mustache and that working, so it stays.

[Tom Griswold]

You can always use a little eyebrow pencil, color it in if you need.

[Chick McGee]

That's. I'm not going to do that.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you do that?

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah, when I tried to grow myself.

[Frank Caliendo]

Wait a second, Pat, you use the.

[Willie Griswold]

Maybe a little bit younger than.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, you use the.

[Willie Griswold]

The wash. Yeah, full on for the goatee, but.

[Frank Caliendo]

What was that stuff called?

[Willie Griswold]

Medium ash brown. By L'Oreal?

[Frank Caliendo]

No, no, just for men.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah, no, it's L'Oreal's medium ash brown dye.

[Frank Caliendo]

That was your hair dye?

[Willie Griswold]

No, that was also my goatee diet.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, really?

[Willie Griswold]

All Wayne Newton style, Everything the same color.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

So you can really stick out in the crowd. I call the color Aging Drama Instructor.

[Frank Caliendo]

There's always that guy at the gym. His sweat drips down in that ash brown color from the hair dye.

[Willie Griswold]

That's usually a guy using powder. Actually, they use the powder to fill it in.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, God.

[Willie Griswold]

If it gets wet, they're screwed. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

There's also the. Probably the most sexist commercial of all time. Who is. It's one of. It's a baseball player. They're out there at a bar.

[Pat Godwin]

I think it's Keith Hernandez.

[Frank Caliendo]

I think it is. Yeah. They're at a bar and these women walk in and they walk right by him and.

[Dusty Slay]

Hey.

[Frank Caliendo]

And they dye their hair. And the next thing you know, the women are walking up. Hi, do you want to see my jugs? This is great. It's unbelievably sexist.

[Pat Godwin]

Just for men. They'll show you your jugs.

[Frank Caliendo]

Guys.

[Tom Griswold]

That tag, it's.

[Chick McGee]

Somebody should just social Media advertising is so bad anymore. Like, no, nothing. No one has any standards for what's on tv. For ads anymore or for tv. There's still some standards, but someone should just go all out on social media. Old Spice.

[Frank Caliendo]

She'll.

[Chick McGee]

She'll finally give it to you.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Really? Lean in. Sorry.

[Chick McGee]

I had three more options that were way too dirty to say on air. I haven't been here for a while.

[Pat Godwin]

We saw the gears.

[Chick McGee]

I had to filter those out. Man, that was almost really bad.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. The one I had involved involved dyeing a goatee and nipples. Not dyeing the nipples. Although. Although that was in the news a few years ago. Remember that thing about there's a trend? There was. Yeah, but there was. There were two of them. There was the one in which your lipstick match. Yes. Supposed to have your. Your lipstick was supposed to. Ladies. Match your nipple color.

[Chick McGee]

It was supposed to be a trend. The lady at the Nordstrom makeup desk freaked out when I showed her my nipple. And I go, I read about this.

[Frank Caliendo]

Are you in the Nordy Club? Show us your nipples. That would be awkward if a lady saddled up to the desk at Nordstrom's and. Yeah. Whipped it out and said, can we match this, please?

[Tom Griswold]

Pat doesn't know what the Nordy Club is.

[Pat Godwin]

I don't either.

[Willie Griswold]

I don't set foot in that place. You know, I don't know where anything is.

[Tom Griswold]

It's people that hold.

[Frank Caliendo]

You're wearing a pair of pants.

[Willie Griswold]

That's why I've never been there.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

The pants you're wearing came from there.

[Willie Griswold]

They did?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you wearing his pants again?

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah, I'm down a size.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Good for you.

[Willie Griswold]

But, yeah, got his 300 jeans on.

[Chick McGee]

Do you know how bad it feels when your dad gives you his jeans that he's too fat to wear now and you're too fat to wear your dad's old jeans? That's a no. I have three jeans hanging in my closet. They're my new goal weight jeans, and they're my dad's from four years ago. Brutal.

[Tom Griswold]

Your dad's wearing the same size I am now.

[Frank Caliendo]

Now we have a bunch of cool stuff coming up today. I'm very excited about it. Some interesting things in the news, as usual. First off, if you're just waking up, basketball. Another come from behind win.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Frank Caliendo]

People were complaining about the fact that all the number one seeds went pretty much all the way and. But a big victory last night. Do you have any of that info over there, Willie? Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

We can do it right now.

[Frank Caliendo]

Just A real quick score. We'll get to the 65, 63.

[Chick McGee]

Florida wins. We'll get to it, man.

[Pat Godwin]

Is that a low score or is that about it, right for ncaa?

[Willie Griswold]

I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

I think the average in the tournament is 139 combined. I looked it up because there's tiebreakers for the office brackets and you have to pick. And I picked one.

[Frank Caliendo]

Wasn't. Didn't the pacers score like 160? Yeah, a couple weeks ago. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

There's a couple teams in the NBA that aren't even playing for anything anymore. All the people that are playing for the team are just embarrassed to be there. They maybe get one good dunk a game just so they have tape to show the next thing they want to play for. And the pacer. Yeah, just 163 to like 98. It was awesome.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. You know, my theory on it'll never happen, but they should only pay the winning team. In sports, there's.

[Chick McGee]

They have incentives.

[Frank Caliendo]

Not big enough though. If you go to a game because these guys are making $100,000 a game or whatever, it's completely ridiculous. But you know, and then they get out there and it's. I got to get back to my suite. I've got two new bile 18 year olds.

[Chick McGee]

Can I ask you, how many basketball games did you watch this season that gave you this opinion about the modern day NBA?

[Frank Caliendo]

The last time I took you guys to a game, I thought, well, no one's really breaking a sweat out there. I'm just saying there's a lot of games and if, just if, if you had a thing about you get a hundred thousand bucks tonight or nothing. You're going to hustle. There's going to be some fights.

[Tom Griswold]

It has turned into a three point shooting contest anymore.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's fun. It looks.

[Tom Griswold]

I have a Swedish drive the lane, man. I love that.

[Chick McGee]

I have a Swedish cousin Law. And he was like, why in the NBA don't they play defense like this? And I was like, oh, they just don't care. He thought it was like a much bigger thing about the game and how it's different at the pro level.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, also in sports, of course, getting ready for the masters. That's why we started with the. A special Martin, Barton and Fargo piece.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that this weekend?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. And this is our. This is our. This is our annual tribute. Here you go. A tradition unlike any other.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, gosh.

[Frank Caliendo]

The Masturbators this weekend on cbs. Every year. You the man. There's the. There's the Udeman guy Right now, I want to look ahead, plan ahead. Perhaps this is the perfect Father's Day gift and Mother's Day gift, I'll grant you that. I'm talking about Field of Dreams whiskey. We've been talking about this for a couple of weeks. Our friend Drew Storn, former major league hurler like that, he and some of his friends created this, this, this bourbon created from the corn at the Field of Dreams field in Iowa. They take the corn from there and turn it into a beautiful bourbon. And I know your husband's a big fan, Christine.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, big fan.

[Frank Caliendo]

And I got a nice letter here from a guy that was talking about Field of Dreams whiskey and how he got it as a gift for his dad for Christmas. And he said, I explained the premise to my dad, how it was made and how each bottle represents a baseball player. He was very excited. He drank three glasses that night. At Christmas, everybody gave me applause. I won Christmas. And let's face it, that's what gift giving is about. You want to win. By the way, he got Eddie Goodell for his player. Eddie Goodell, the famous vec is in rec. A man of small stature, a famous thing in the world of baseball. In any event, Field of Dreams whiskey is out there with a new batch. And this is perfect for Father's Day, like I said, or Mother's Day. Find all the information [e-mail] Tom or look for it at a retailer near you. It's baseball history in a glass.

[Tom Griswold]

Today's got big baseball history. So if you get Hank Aaron, maybe that'd be, maybe you'd be lucky.

[Frank Caliendo]

That goes back to what, 74?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, something like that.

[Frank Caliendo]

Celebrate the legacy of baseball, Savor the game and have a great, great glass of bourbon. Drink Field of Dreams.com Tom it's available in, to be mailed to most states, not all of them shipping. Not available to Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Delaware, Idaho, Kentucky, Michigan, Mississippi, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Vermont, and Buzzkill Island. It must be 21 to purchase it or over. No, I don't want to say sorry. You're 22, buddy. No more for you. And please drink responsibly. That's Field of Dreams whiskey. Again, a great gift. Each bottle honoring a major league player. And there's a whole, whole, the whole story about it. You can just read about it. Once again, drink fieldofdreams.com tom now, coming up, exciting things in the news, including an excuse to play, a little bit of Grateful Dead music, and a very, very unusual science story. Coming Coming up today that has shades of Jurassic Park. Park. Coming up.

[Pat Godwin]

Things didn't go well there.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, they may not go well with this either. This is one of those scientists mad scientist things. Also coming up, comedians Dusty Slay and Frank Caliendo. And Frank's on the road with Al Jackson and Willie G. Hey, tonight it's Louisville, the Louisville Comedy Club. Wednesday, Summit City in Fort Wayne. Thursday, Helium in Cincinnati. This weekend at the Funny Bone. Details on that coming up. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christy Lee]

Are you someone who tries to drive all distracted by your phone? Someone who props in on the steering wheel or peeks down at it for a glance? Or just scrolls and scrolls? If so, you could be the next person to get into a Fender bender, get a ticket, veer off the road, or even cause a crash that kills you. Or someone. Someone else. Enough already. Put the phone away or pay. Paid for by NHTSA.

[Pat Godwin]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee's there at the Silac Insurance Company news desk.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi, Josh.

[Pat Godwin]

Arnold Godwin's over there with his guitar and his, his. Let's come up with a new nickname for a piano. A keyboard. How about and his 88 friends?

[Willie Griswold]

Oh, I love it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Does that one have 88?

[Willie Griswold]

No, no, it has 60, but that doesn't ruin the joke.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you say 60 really doesn't. Doesn't really work at all.

[Tom Griswold]

That's not really romantic, is it?

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah, no.

[Frank Caliendo]

Don't they make. Doesn't somebody make a keyboard that is even more than 88?

[Willie Griswold]

I don't think so.

[Frank Caliendo]

Like a Dusseldorfer or something?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, maybe.

[Frank Caliendo]

I think there's a Dusseldorfer.

[Pat Godwin]

There's Willie g. @the originsouls.com sports desk. And your nickname today is Dusseldorfer.

[Chick McGee]

Why did he say that?

[Frank Caliendo]

Happy birthday, Dusseldorfer.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that really a word?

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah, that's a piano brand.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, there is some huge piano. But doesn't that one have it, like, extra bass notes or something?

[Willie Griswold]

Well, I don't think so.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

We are celebrating Willie's birthday today. We're all here at the O'Reilly Auto. Do you want me to finish this? If I don't do it, he'll yell at me.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, I'm just.

[Chick McGee]

I was.

[Frank Caliendo]

I couldn't remember that. We've, we've lost Al Jackson. He got into a traffic snarl yesterday. I'm not sure he ever got out.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, really?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, there's construction going in there. People are actually missing.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, well, that's an important psa isn't it?

[Frank Caliendo]

Al Jackson missing. Look for him on a bottle of milk.

[Pat Godwin]

Would that be something? The guy came here and just disappeared. Happens a lot.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. There's various careers.

[Pat Godwin]

The street's got the revenge on him.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Okay.

[Chick McGee]

They'd have to use video of the show for all of our alibis.

[Frank Caliendo]

Bangkok's got him now. At this point in our program, we often like to read letters. And we have a bunch of good ones today as usual. Now, Willie, we have been recently, much to Josh's dismay, reading old sayings that moms, dads, grandpas and grandmas uncles would.

[Pat Godwin]

Say, we enjoyed it. The reason he's the first couple weeks. Yeah, I enjoyed it for four days, buddy.

[Chick McGee]

As soon as he said, to Josh's dismay, I knew you liked it for a while. And then he, you know, kind of ran it into the ground like he does. And now we're past that even.

[Frank Caliendo]

But yesterday. Yesterday. Yesterday was a really good one. Now, you'll notice that I did not do a Chuck Norris joke yesterday.

[Pat Godwin]

Just mentioning him now, though. Violation.

[Frank Caliendo]

That means we get two today.

[Willie Griswold]

Comedy rule. Okay.

[Frank Caliendo]

This comes to us from Brian. He said, my dad used to always say, when it was cold outside, it's so cold you could freeze the balls off a pool table.

[Tom Griswold]

No, Right.

[Frank Caliendo]

Mildly amusing.

[Pat Godwin]

That is what these are. Mildly amusing.

[Frank Caliendo]

How about this one? This comes to us from Kurt. Kurt is kind enough to write. He says, my grandmother was extremely religious. All caps. Every Thanksgiving we'd get over there and she would greet us at the door saying greetings and hallucinations. Apparently she didn't understand hallucinations. Grandma wasn't taking lsd.

[Willie Griswold]

Oh, she wasn't having a joke.

[Tom Griswold]

Did she mean salutations?

[Frank Caliendo]

They're similar.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Lover Kevin writes, when my father was ready to leave somewhere, he would say, time to make like a baby and head on out.

[Pat Godwin]

First, apparently, that you want them to be.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

You know, otherwise it's breach of contract.

[Tom Griswold]

I've heard this one more than your contracts.

[Frank Caliendo]

My uncles would always say when they saw a woman with bad teeth, she could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, my dad said that. I've heard that one.

[Frank Caliendo]

Not very kind.

[Tom Griswold]

Your dad have any of these?

[Chick McGee]

I can't think not.

[Willie Griswold]

You ruined Christmas.

[Chick McGee]

I mean, that's the classic. That's the classic. Thank you for. I almost didn't say. Because I've said it so many times on the show.

[Willie Griswold]

I love that.

[Chick McGee]

I can't think of anything. He would call me Elvis a lot, which was weird.

[Willie Griswold]

I Remember that?

[Chick McGee]

Hey, look at Elvis. I was at camp washing dishes. Elvis is in the back washing dishes, everybody.

[Tom Griswold]

Why'd you call him Elvis?

[Chick McGee]

Long hair, I think.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Just. Yeah, it was fun. He's got a nice pompadour. Got a great head of hair.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Plus I had a dog named Elvis. I always confused the kids with the dogs.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that too.

[Frank Caliendo]

Don't you ever do that. I still do that.

[Tom Griswold]

I call my dogs by the wrong names all the time.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'll look at heart and go Figaro when I go, that's like four golden retrievers ago.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no, I don't do that.

[Frank Caliendo]

They're just in my head.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Willie Griswold]

Yes, Thomas, just in.

[Frank Caliendo]

You are right.

[Willie Griswold]

The Bozendorfer has 97 keys and it's. It's Bozendorf Bosendorf for piano.

[Frank Caliendo]

I thought it was Dusseldorfer. So are they. So it's got, like, more bass down there.

[Willie Griswold]

Dusseldorf is funnier.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Just think what you could do with all those extra keys.

[Willie Griswold]

Not much. I can keep it right here.

[Pat Godwin]

Are they on the low end or the high end?

[Willie Griswold]

I think both low and high.

[Frank Caliendo]

Really?

[Willie Griswold]

I'll get a text pretty soon.

[Frank Caliendo]

Can dogs hear them?

[Willie Griswold]

I think that's crazy.

[Tom Griswold]

That is.

[Frank Caliendo]

Aren't there famous classical pieces written for one armed pianists and.

[Willie Griswold]

Boy, that's a Steve Ali question. The guy who plays.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, I think there's a couple of famous pieces written for the Left Hand.

[Willie Griswold]

Rag pianists that only have no real stumpy blues.

[Frank Caliendo]

I mean, I think some of them are very difficult to play, but I. I'm not. I'm positive I saw that somewhere. I mean, obviously that's a relatively small market.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

So you're both Bozendorfer. 97 keys. I didn't know that.

[Tom Griswold]

Hopefully you learned something today.

[Frank Caliendo]

Every day you always learn something. I've got a couple more letter. I hope you like this one. This comes to us from a friend of the show in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

[Pat Godwin]

I got a gal there.

[Frank Caliendo]

This is from Benjamin. He writes. Hey, Tom. I hear using the slow cooker. Welcome to the slow cooker family.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, gosh. Who gave you a new trend?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, a new trend like the slow cookers.

[Chick McGee]

Remember the air fryer? How bad that was for. I don't know if you. You can put salmon in there. I eat healthy salmon every night in the air fryer.

[Willie Griswold]

Don't knock. It's back. We all love it now.

[Chick McGee]

No, it's fine. I'm glad with these. I use them too. But he just discovers a new appliance makes it his Whole personality.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, the slow cooker is awesome. And I was using it last week because the girls were out of town. It says it's a game changer. Welcome to the slow cooker family. Use a slow cooker liner.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I have those. They're great.

[Frank Caliendo]

Never heard of this.

[Chick McGee]

I use those and then I read something about microplastics and those, and then. I stopped you.

[Frank Caliendo]

They're plastic.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there's some kind of something. I don't know what.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm out.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

But also, I don't know. I used to do a lot of dumb stuff. It's. I used to smoke pot of Coke cans. So why should I be so worried about my slow cooker?

[Tom Griswold]

Plastic.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, Aluminum will keep the plastic out of your brain.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, and the paint, isn't that.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

The lead. It's lead light. Don't worry about it.

[Tom Griswold]

The Piano Concerto for the Left Hand in D major, composed by Maurice Ravel between 1929 and 1930.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yep.

[Frank Caliendo]

But is that. Do you get to use your right hand, too?

[Tom Griswold]

You only have one hand. It was actually commissioned by a pianist who lost his right arm in the First World War.

[Frank Caliendo]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's great. I mean, not great that he lost his arm. No.

[Tom Griswold]

But great that you remember that. That's amazing.

[Frank Caliendo]

Here we go. This comes to us from Tyler. He goes, good morning. Or whenever the hell time it is, wherever you are. Thank you. I went to my local Goodwill store. I found this and immediately thought of Tom. A 21 DVD set for $20. That's just over a dollar a disc. It's the complete. Let's see which season of McHale's Navy on DVD.

[Pat Godwin]

That's gotta be the complete series.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, it is. It is. The complete series on DVD. McHale's Navy, a classic show from the 60s.

[Tom Griswold]

Ladies and gentlemen, do you have a DVD player?

[Frank Caliendo]

It probably in the basement somewhere. I haven't gotten it out. Do you have one accessible?

[Tom Griswold]

No, I don't think I have one at all.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, yeah, they're functioning. Oh, yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

You got them plugged in and everything. I see.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, still like the physical media.

[Frank Caliendo]

This is, of course, the great theme from McHale's navy. You ever watch this show, Willie?

[Chick McGee]

No, but you've talked about it a bunch. Man, this Sea Hunt, I thought he.

[Tom Griswold]

Force fed this stuff on you.

[Chick McGee]

No, not really.

[Frank Caliendo]

It was a good show. It was Academy Award winner, Ernest Borgnine, the great Tim Conway.

[Chick McGee]

I do remember one time MASH came on and he was like, boys, sit down. This is about history. This is comedy history.

[Willie Griswold]

The final season.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, that's that final episode. Well, if you want to reach us, you can write us letters, Bob and Tom @bob and tom.com if you're just joining us. By the way, this is the Bob and Tom Show. We are coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios at the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. Willie G. Sitting in for Chick McGee today. Hey, Pop. Happy birthday, Willie.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you.

[Frank Caliendo]

And I will also remind everybody that Willie is on stage on his birthday along with Al Jackson and Frank Caliendo. Tonight the guys are at the Louisville Comedy Club for a very special show. And then they'll be in Fort Wayne tomorrow at Summit City Helium Thursday. And then Friday and Saturday it's Greater Cincinnati at the Liberty Township Funny Bone. And then Columbus, Ohio on Sunday night.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow, that's quite the tour.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Little run.

[Chick McGee]

Little run with the fellas.

[Frank Caliendo]

A good run. Let's check in with the sporting scene over there. What's going on?

[Chick McGee]

Well, hey, Florida And Walter Clayton Jr. Somehow overcame Houston's spirit, crushing defense Monday night to will out a 65 to 63 victory in an NC two way title game thriller not decided until Clayton's own D stopped the Cougars from taking a game winning shot at the buzzer.

[Pat Godwin]

You mean defense.

[Chick McGee]

It' it says Clayton's own D, okay?

[Pat Godwin]

Not his penis.

[Chick McGee]

I promise that it says it. I thought about changing it. I got the Sharpie out. I was going to cross it out. Yeah, everyone's just talking like they're 13 now, including the Associated Press, the AI.

[Pat Godwin]

Of the Associated Press.

[Chick McGee]

It's, it's right in here. Clayton finished with 11 points, but what he'll be remembered for most was getting Houston's Emanuel Sharp to stop in the middle of his motion as he tried to go up for the game winning three and final seconds.

[Pat Godwin]

The Sharpie. They call him.

[Chick McGee]

They call him the Sharpie, folks, but yeah, that's it. Florida wins. I thought I had Duke winning my bracket. I was really disappointing. I would have won the bracket if Duke would have gone on to win this game.

[Tom Griswold]

I had Florida winning my bracket, but my bracket got busted early on.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah, someone told me I was close to winning.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you had Houston.

[Pat Godwin]

Who?

[Tom Griswold]

Houston.

[Willie Griswold]

I didn't even know I had Houston.

[Tom Griswold]

So you know who won in our pool?

[Willie Griswold]

No, I didn't.

[Tom Griswold]

Eddie.

[Willie Griswold]

Eddie won.

[Tom Griswold]

Eddie didn't know he'd won.

[Pat Godwin]

Why do the jerks always end up.

[Frank Caliendo]

Pain in the ass? The worst people showing up late.

[Chick McGee]

It's our office bracket. It is. It's complete nonsense. A few Years ago, Dean ran it. He got three of the one seeds. It's just insane. It should be seated. And you should be able to pay a little bit more to get a higher seed if you want to.

[Frank Caliendo]

Wait a minute. That doesn't make sense. You would love that.

[Chick McGee]

This is capitalism. This would be your favorite thing.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, he had a great. He had great picks this year.

[Frank Caliendo]

I didn't win, though.

[Tom Griswold]

I know you didn't. You're right.

[Frank Caliendo]

And I put. I put my money in.

[Tom Griswold]

I paid for Chick.

[Willie Griswold]

Somebody paid for me. Josh, you paid for me, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

I got you, man.

[Willie Griswold]

I would have given you a cut of that if I. If I won last.

[Pat Godwin]

See, You're a good man.

[Willie Griswold]

Two points on.

[Pat Godwin]

I like that, Eddie.

[Willie Griswold]

Cash flowing out his pockets.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I know. Now, will you enjoy your hard drugs? We know where it's going.

[Willie Griswold]

Light up his nose.

[Frank Caliendo]

DH Going to the horse factory.

[Chick McGee]

You know what I'm talking about.

[Frank Caliendo]

They got the G. You got the.

[Tom Griswold]

Sweetest man in the building. Did you stop?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

To the ladies.

[Frank Caliendo]

Chris, you like a good. You like a good rumors.

[Chick McGee]

He's a drug addict. The man has children.

[Frank Caliendo]

He's lovely. You like a good goose?

[Tom Griswold]

A good goose?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

No, not really.

[Frank Caliendo]

Here's the headline. Goose couple build nests next to Wrigley Field. Center field seats.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, that's right.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a. That was a mischief.

[Frank Caliendo]

You were at the Cub Padre game this weekend.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I was there on Saturday, so I guess I missed this.

[Frank Caliendo]

It says photos on social media show a goose nesting in a juniper planter next to the center field seats underneath the scoreboard during Saturday's game at Wrigley Field.

[Pat Godwin]

Jennifer.

[Willie Griswold]

A juniper goose is in the stand.

[Frank Caliendo]

Several rows of the upper bleachers were blocked off from fans while two Canada geese. And by the way, when did Canadian geese become Canada geese?

[Tom Griswold]

I have no idea.

[Frank Caliendo]

This is irritating.

[Chick McGee]

I would be so. It is so hard to get good seeds in the bleachers. You have to show up so early. If there were geese keeping me from my seeds, I would throw them by their neck.

[Tom Griswold]

No, you wouldn't.

[Chick McGee]

I don't like them. And now they're taking up baseball seats. Get out of town. Go back to the lake where you belong.

[Frank Caliendo]

I hate geese.

[Pat Godwin]

I love them.

[Tom Griswold]

I do, too. They're so.

[Frank Caliendo]

They've ruined one of my favorite walks.

[Pat Godwin]

I think they're so fun.

[Frank Caliendo]

Thousand yards of goose manure.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

There was a wacky color in a planter in front of the restaurant we had dinner at the other night. And I mean, she takes up the Whole planter she's just there with. Oh, it's just.

[Pat Godwin]

It's definitely nesting season.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

They are funny. I like that they're always hanging out with their friends. The other day I just saw a goose that was completely alone walking around a field like his friends texted him the wrong party to go to. So fun.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, but even those guys don't seem too upset about it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Though you don't see them by themselves often.

[Chick McGee]

No, they always have.

[Pat Godwin]

Usually. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

See, I'm in favor of a bounty.

[Pat Godwin]

I like the idea already.

[Frank Caliendo]

Just did destroy two thirds of them for the. Oh, no. It's unnatural. We don't need this many.

[Tom Griswold]

Why did they come here all of a sudden? I don't remember.

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't know. They had free three free health care in Canada. Now they're here leeching off us. I want to get the president. According to the Cubs fans snap photos of the feathered duo on Sunday at Sunday's game. And I'm not sure what they're going to do with them.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, because you get near them, they hiss.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, they do.

[Frank Caliendo]

Are they going to relocate them and are they going to.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Pat Godwin]

Not going to be easy with a nesting goose.

[Tom Griswold]

Let them be. Why don't they just.

[Pat Godwin]

And I got sassed bad by one the other day.

[Tom Griswold]

And then the little gooselings will be out on Wrigley Field. It'll be chasing them around.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, yeah, but most of the eggs are actually at the White Sox right now. What have they won? Two goslings, aren't they? Yeah. So there you go. If you're going to Wrigley, look for the geese.

[Tom Griswold]

You got chased the other day.

[Pat Godwin]

Not chase, but he. He was letting me know. Hey, the Mrs. Is protecting our will be children.

[Willie Griswold]

Were you by. You're by water?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Now coming up, we have possibly the most unusual egg hatching in the Bob and Tom science news section today involving a 100-year-old mama. Absolutely staggering news from the animal kingdom. Also today we will have interesting news about Uranus and the death grip syndrome.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you know what that is?

[Chick McGee]

Death grip?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Is that killing 14 year old boys across the country?

[Tom Griswold]

Kind of. Maybe.

[Frank Caliendo]

It could be. You're getting close. It's about the age. Yeah. Pat, you want to take this one? Oh boy.

[Pat Godwin]

You live with one of those? You ever let him out of the pit?

[Willie Griswold]

He keeps himself in the pit with the door locked.

[Chick McGee]

IPad dies. Needs a hot pocket, you know, Right.

[Frank Caliendo]

Now I want to talk about the revolution in coffee. It's happening right here. In our green room, Java House is revolutionizing the office coffee experience and the home coffee experience. Instead of using that messy germ laden Keurig, look at this, Willie. This is a Java House peel and pour cup. It's a little bit bigger than a Keurig cup. It's not for a machine. You just take off the peel here, pour it into your cup, and you've got voila. Hot or cold coffee or tea or an energy drink, what have you. I favor the black tea. And you can find out about Java House. Get all the information by going to Javahouse.com, use the promo code Bob and Tom. That'll knock 25% off your order. Java House is really revolutionizing office coffee. It's a great value, of course, and a lot less messy. And you don't even need electricity.

[Pat Godwin]

And no waiting.

[Frank Caliendo]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

That's the other thing.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Especially in this place.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

You walk into fart central and that.

[Pat Godwin]

Would be our green room.

[Frank Caliendo]

Rapidly turning. Rapidly turning beige. I'm not sure what's going on in there.

[Chick McGee]

Fart central.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's Java House. I call it the revolution in office coffee and coffee anywhere. And it's not just coffee hydration drinks. Christy, you know what I'm talking about.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

But it's a peel and pour electrolytes. This thing. I could say you could probably fit a golf ball in this thing. Barely. That's how big it is. And it's prepared for you. By the way, they've got cold brew. And I learned something. Cold brew can be had warm.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. It doesn't mean that it's cold.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's the way. The way the brew is made. But they've done all. Yeah, they've done the heavy lifting for you. So Java House is the way to go. Once again, java house.com promo code Bob and Tom to get 25% off your order. It's the revolution in coffee, tea, etc. Etc. Now, coming up, we have a bizarre story involving the lack of desire for humans to do anything that requires effort.

[Pat Godwin]

How bizarre.

[Frank Caliendo]

Even. Even tourists. And an excuse to play a classic Grateful Dead song. That's all coming up. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Unknown Speaker]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe.

[Tom Griswold]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today.

[Frank Caliendo]

Smart choice.

[Tom Griswold]

Progressive loves to help people make smart choices. That's why they offer A tool called Auto Quote Explorer that allows you to compare your progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies.

[Christy Lee]

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[Tom Griswold]

The best rate for you. Give it a try after this [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliate not.

[Christy Lee]

Available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy.

[Frank Caliendo]

Others.

[Pat Godwin]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. Christie's here. Pat Godwin. There's Willie G on his birthday. Hey man, I'm here. Josh arnold@the ihatestevensinger.com Sidekick Chair.

[Frank Caliendo]

Remember?

[Pat Godwin]

Stephen Singer's limited edition brand new blue moon 24 karat gold dipped rose for mother's day is available now.

[Frank Caliendo]

Blue Moon.

[Pat Godwin]

There's a limited quantity.

[Frank Caliendo]

Keep going.

[Pat Godwin]

Get yours today at this website. I hate stevensinger.com.

[Willie Griswold]

Oh, he really not bad.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

More, more spotlight on Josh.

[Pat Godwin]

See how easy it is to sing.

[Willie Griswold]

Patting the same thing.

[Frank Caliendo]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom program. We have Willie G on his birthday. Happy birthday, Willie.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, thanks dad.

[Frank Caliendo]

And celebrate his birthday tonight. He's gonna be on stage and we.

[Pat Godwin]

Got you a.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, that was supposed to be a surprise.

[Pat Godwin]

Real fast.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, perfect.

[Pat Godwin]

Man, that's all we could afford.

[Chick McGee]

I was hoping to work hard tonight. You know.

[Frank Caliendo]

Kentucky whore. You'll be in Kentucky, the Commonwealth, Louisville at the Louisville Comedy Club tonight with Frank Caliendo and Al Jackson. It's gonna be a killer show. And then tomorrow at Summit City in Fort Wayne, Helium Thursday. And then the funny Bone in Greater Cincinnati. Friday and Saturday in Columbus, Ohio on Sunday. For the tour right now we turn to Willie G. Do we have any more sports stories?

[Chick McGee]

Uh, here we go. We got one more. Uh, there's no doubt who's going first in the WNBA draft next Monday with Paige Buckers, the consensus top pick. After that it gets interesting with Olivia Miles decision to enter the NC2A transfer portal instead of the draft. The Washington Mystics with a new coach and GM control the direction of the draft with the third, fourth and sixth pick.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm very excited. Yeah, it's me, Paige Buckers.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, boy, those are some like. Boy, you gotta be careful trying to say the word Buckers.

[Pat Godwin]

Was real good at the bias the ball. Poor page.

[Chick McGee]

I'd imagine that pre seventh grade before she got good at basketball must have been like, hey Bucky, how you doing?

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm the one that says the says buckers all the time, right? You guys always get mad when I mention someone that has a big pair of choppers.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't see them that often anymore?

[Frank Caliendo]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Dentistry's come a long way.

[Frank Caliendo]

Thank God. I'm a big fan.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

As I've said before, every time someone that goes, I was born two centuries too late. I would have been a princess. No, no, you would have been lucky to. You would have been a toothless serf. I don't mean beach boy surf. I mean slave with no clean clothes. Do you feel like a handful of teeth?

[Chick McGee]

Were you born in the wrong generation? Because I feel like you would have been great at calling someone a serf. You would have been great in feudal society.

[Frank Caliendo]

I know. I have gum issues. I would have had no teeth. I'd be dead by now. My God, we never would have made it this far.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, nobody did. Oh, no.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. The average age was like 31.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I'm done. That was a full life that I. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Grandpa, how old are you today? 28.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's no joke.

[Pat Godwin]

I know.

[Chick McGee]

Be quiet. I have to take your dad to eighth grade.

[Frank Caliendo]

But political correctness. They were getting knocked up at 14.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was.

[Frank Caliendo]

That was the way it went.

[Pat Godwin]

That was.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, 14 was. Yeah. She must be really ugly.

[Pat Godwin]

Don't you wish we go back to those things? I mean, what else is happening in sports? I mean, more for the society.

[Frank Caliendo]

Now, Patty G has a new album out there called Hotel Pool. I would highly recommend it, but I also want to remind you that Pat's done a bunch of songs Willie hasn't heard yet. What's your favorite recent song, Pat, that you'd like to favor?

[Willie Griswold]

Oh, I have to go over the chord changes in my mind, but I think. I think that one about the Carfax. But you're going have to give me just a break or two to get my mind.

[Tom Griswold]

You have a song that you can do right now?

[Pat Godwin]

Sure.

[Willie Griswold]

I mean, we're all in about the coffee now in our favorite coffee. Java House.

[Tom Griswold]

Sure.

[Frank Caliendo]

Do you have a Java House song?

[Willie Griswold]

Well, I have a song about coffee. Well, you really. Coffee.

[Pat Godwin]

Do you have a Java House rock? There's an idea.

[Chick McGee]

See how easy it is?

[Pat Godwin]

Do I have to do your job?

[Chick McGee]

Been there the whole time.

[Willie Griswold]

Don't you have some jokes to work on?

[Pat Godwin]

You know, you think I would? One would.

[Willie Griswold]

Hey, Willie. Welcome to Java House open mike coffee house.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, it's great to be in open mic.

[Frank Caliendo]

Cool.

[Willie Griswold]

Every Tuesday morning.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

Three people here, four people, five people.

[Frank Caliendo]

A lot.

[Willie Griswold]

Going through the drive through, giving me the finger. But it's called I like my Coffee. I like my coffee like I like my women full of Irish whiskey. I Like my comedy. Like I like the ladies in my lap while I'm driving. Kind of risky. I like coffee and women to be uncomplicated. Room for cream, of course.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

Don't give me soy almond or oat milk, baby. Well, that's grounds for a divorce.

[Chick McGee]

Get it?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

I'm so clever. I don't like coffee like soup. Women. Oh, cold, spoiled and bitter. That Cuban hot stuff was too much for my heart. I loved her a latte, Willie. Oh, but I had to quit her. I like my coffee and women do agree with me, not give me an ulcer with their acidity. Oh, I'm running out of metaphors and similes. I'll just say I like my coffee. Say I like my coffee like I like my women.

[Frank Caliendo]

Like he likes his women with big tips.

[Willie Griswold]

Big tips from my beautiful baristas.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes. Very, very degenerate gratuity.

[Frank Caliendo]

Thank you very much.

[Chick McGee]

The talent it takes to hit that note at the end.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. For a silly mystery.

[Willie Griswold]

See that, Josh?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I've done that. I've done that. I don't want to do it now. I already did. Incident.

[Frank Caliendo]

I like the notion of the java house open mic. Yes.

[Willie Griswold]

Morning.

[Frank Caliendo]

Imagine doing. Well, it's open mic morning, like on a Tuesday morning.

[Willie Griswold]

Haven't you gone into a place and been assaulted by someone in the corner who's just horrible playing guitar?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but not at 6:00am that's why this is funny.

[Pat Godwin]

I, I never mind it.

[Willie Griswold]

You never mind.

[Pat Godwin]

I really don't. No. But I've gotten in trouble at. Not all open mics are appropriate for like, they'll say, hey, come to the open mic. They don't always want a comedian.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. No, no, no, no, they don't.

[Pat Godwin]

You'll get like two poets and then a girl singing about how lovely doves are. And then I come up, you know, my penis was itching real bad. You ruined the whole night.

[Willie Griswold]

I did a bookstore coffee house in la and I just had died horribly inappropriate material with children. I just had not. I was a club guy.

[Pat Godwin]

Right. Right.

[Chick McGee]

I was like two years in. There was. It was called Emerald City Coffee in Chicago and it was Wednesdays at 5:00pm yes. And it was across from a school and I finished this terrible set where I'm talking about, you know, what guys that are two years in talk about just my. My little stuff all the time. And I finished my set and I walk out and there's just right in your shot. Just an 8 year old doing a tutoring session.

[Frank Caliendo]

Wow.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, well. Can be rather painful.

[Pat Godwin]

But I love seeing the. Yeah, I always like seeing who, even.

[Josh Arnold]

If they're not great.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Gail Freebird.

[Frank Caliendo]

Now, what about buskers that are terrible?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. You always.

[Willie Griswold]

I always, like, sometimes. That's pretty.

[Tom Griswold]

That's pretty cool.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. I never feel bad. I always, I always, I mean, I.

[Frank Caliendo]

Always throw cash in, but sometimes you, you know, they're not going to be.

[Pat Godwin]

That's okay.

[Frank Caliendo]

I met with a really genuinely bad.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I like it.

[Chick McGee]

Are you saying, do you go up to these people and say, hey, buddy, this isn't for you?

[Frank Caliendo]

No, no, no, no. I just, I always enjoy the. Just every. I just, I saw one in particular this winter that was unbelievably bad.

[Pat Godwin]

Whether I like it or not or whether they're good or bad, anybody who gets up and puts himself in that position, I have so much respect for.

[Chick McGee]

They're doing it.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I really put themselves out there.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Okay. Well, now, coming up, it's going to be Frank Caliendo in the studio with us. Dusty Slay will be joining us via Zoom today. Willie G. Hanging out with us on his birthday. And Christy, what's coming up in the news?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, we still have our death grip syndrome. Guys, listen up.

[Pat Godwin]

It sounds horrifying.

[Tom Griswold]

It is horrifying. A time. Who's come? The wedding content creator. Yes, you heard me correctly. Capture your big day for social media, ladies and gentlemen.

[Pat Godwin]

It makes perfect sense.

[Tom Griswold]

And the Mr. Obvious Institute this morning. Men are more distracted by sexual images than women.

[Frank Caliendo]

Someone got a grant for that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay, that's good to know. I've got to get to the grant business. It seems like it's really paying off. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Unknown Speaker]

Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Get a look at today's show on our YouTube channel. Lowes is the destination for EGO outdoor power equipment this spring. See what's new and exclusive like the 17 inch string trimmer with line IQ technology that auto feeds to save you time. And the 22 inch select cut self propelled mowers with a multi blade system for precise cutting shop EGO Days happening now during Spring Fest at Lowe's we help you save. Selection varies by location while supplies last.

[Frank Caliendo]

I may be Josh.

[Pat Godwin]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show.

[Frank Caliendo]

You want to surprise him right before.

[Pat Godwin]

I am Josh, there's Christy.

[Frank Caliendo]

I am. I am Josh.

[Tom Griswold]

And I am Josh. And I am.

[Frank Caliendo]

I am. Pat.

[Pat Godwin]

Christie's sitting at the Silac insurance Company news desk. Pat Godwin sitting In front of his keybird and guitar.

[Willie Griswold]

Hello.

[Pat Godwin]

Willie G's at the orangeinsouls.com sports desk celebrating his B day. We're celebrating right along with him. I am Josh Arnold. As said earlier, I'm at The I Hate stevensinger.com Sidekick Share. And we're all happily enjoying the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. There's Tom.

[Frank Caliendo]

Thank you very much. Now, a couple things. Let's see, we have a couple more sports stories. Am I getting this right?

[Chick McGee]

We got some records.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay, go. What do we got?

[Chick McGee]

A rat in Cambodia has been trained to sniff out landmines. And the landmine hunting rat has set a new world record by sniffing out more than 100 mines and pieces of unexploded Ordinance.

[Frank Caliendo]

Ordinance.

[Chick McGee]

Ordinance. I'll put an eye in there next time, then.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, it's.

[Pat Godwin]

It's ordinance. Yeah. Really?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, there's. It's a.

[Chick McGee]

Looks like I was mean to my dad for.

[Frank Caliendo]

It means. It means stuff that blows up.

[Chick McGee]

Ronin, a giant African pouched rat is tracked on 109 landmines and 15 other potentially deadly war remnants since his deployment to northern Preva here Province in August 2021.

[Pat Godwin]

I bet this thing's bigger than a Yorkie.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, yeah, I bet you're right.

[Pat Godwin]

Some gigantic Cambodian rat.

[Frank Caliendo]

A trained rat. But I mean, it's very important, obviously. One false move and that rat becomes the filling in a Cambodian taco truck burrito.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, I'm not going to have you besmirch Cambodian rat burritos. They're actually quite good.

[Frank Caliendo]

They're probably so good. I said this. For me, one of the best things I've eaten in the last decade was from a taco truck in Austin, Texas. Mexican street corn.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, that was actually Mexican street rat. They just didn't tell you.

[Frank Caliendo]

If that's what they seasoned it with, it's okay with me. I'm of the school. The less I know about where the food comes from, the better.

[Pat Godwin]

I've never gotten that trope of somebody, they're eating something, going, this is so great. Well, you know, that's deer. And then they spit it out.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, shut up.

[Pat Godwin]

You enjoyed it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, don't tell me. No. What else we got over there?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, this is. Josh is gonna love this story, you guys. Oh, the city museum in St. Louis. That was very silly. It scratched me where I itch and I had to read. The City Museum in St. Louis, Missouri has broken the Guinness World Record for the most people wearing banana hats.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, very silly.

[Chick McGee]

This a total of 309 participants donned their banana hats to help claim the title. An official Guinness World Records adjudicator was on site to confirm the successful attempt. So look at that. Banana hats for the people.

[Pat Godwin]

How about that? Why?

[Frank Caliendo]

That seems like a low number.

[Tom Griswold]

That seems like a really easy record to break.

[Frank Caliendo]

There we go.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, they're full.

[Willie Griswold]

That's a full on banana customer.

[Frank Caliendo]

These are sort of. If they. If they were white, there'd be kind of a KKK feel.

[Chick McGee]

Come on.

[Frank Caliendo]

They're more like banana hoods.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

I have one banana rally.

[Chick McGee]

I have one problem with this, and it's that there. There are kids that have banana hats, and theirs should be a little bit smaller and they should be green. That's my only issue with this. That would make this, the visual a little bit funnier. But it does look very cool.

[Frank Caliendo]

That would be classic.

[Chick McGee]

It's like a bunch of little minions running around.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, but that's. I think we could probably break this rule.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, we could.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. I wonder why they're doing it just for fun.

[Frank Caliendo]

Underscore the importance of museums, perhaps? Well, sure.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm just guessing, but why bananas and not.

[Tom Griswold]

Do they have a banana exhibit?

[Frank Caliendo]

Maybe it's in. Maybe. Is it in response to that dumb thing where the guy taped. Duct taped the banana to the wall and sold it for a million dollars?

[Pat Godwin]

The art piece called there's no way they're celebrating that.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Thus making contemporary art a joke now maybe I got a better idea, Josh.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay, what's that?

[Frank Caliendo]

Instead of doing this record, how about banana hammocks?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, my.

[Frank Caliendo]

The most men wearing banana hammocks.

[Tom Griswold]

So it'd be like a big Borat picture.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

That's a smelly record.

[Frank Caliendo]

That is a bad look.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Doesn't look comfortable. Yeah. None of it seems.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, doesn't look sexy.

[Chick McGee]

I think it's just. I think it's just the guys, they just want the attention. They want to get a little look on the beach.

[Tom Griswold]

Of course they do.

[Chick McGee]

That's why they wear it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Well, bravo to the museum.

[Pat Godwin]

That's a fun, fun place.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, you've been there?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. The city museum is really great. Interactive. Crazy slides, crazy tunnels.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's pretty well known.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, it's real fun.

[Frank Caliendo]

And it's not just art art.

[Pat Godwin]

No, no. It's more interactive stuff.

[Frank Caliendo]

Or more hands on stuff. We segue from the orange insoles.com sports desk. That direction. We do we have another one more, you guys. Sorry.

[Willie Griswold]

What's this one?

[Chick McGee]

A high school basketball player in New Mexico is facing charges after allegedly urinating in the opposing team's water cooler.

[Pat Godwin]

This is what you do.

[Willie Griswold]

Be in the pot.

[Chick McGee]

The Rio Rancho observer reports that the 16 year old from Rio Ranch High school is accused of contaminating the water cooler during a home game against La Cuerva High School.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, they're gonna drop my pee.

[Frank Caliendo]

Disposed to look at the Cuerva High School. Do you suppose their colors are gold? Would they be the. We are the Cuervo gold?

[Chick McGee]

He faces 15 counts of battery. Rio Rancho public schools announced that the entire team.

[Tom Griswold]

Does that mean 15 people drank the water?

[Pat Godwin]

Battery?

[Chick McGee]

The entire team has been suspended from the program pending the investigation. Oh, man. Did he even play for the team or was he just some crazy fan that wanted to.

[Pat Godwin]

Loyal fan, thank you very much.

[Frank Caliendo]

It says he was on the baseball team and he peed.

[Chick McGee]

It's baseball. I must have misspelled.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, okay. Baseball.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, it's. Yeah, it says a high school baseball player in New Mexico. I guess he peed in there. In the cooler.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hey, we have the yellow gatorade today, coach. What? I put the clear in there.

[J]

Man.

[Chick McGee]

This kid can do everything. He can pitch, he can hit, he can pee in the other team's cooler.

[Frank Caliendo]

Is he starting to know? He's a relief pistol.

[Tom Griswold]

Kiss her. I think they tasted it or they.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, it would have been diluted. I mean, think about it.

[Pat Godwin]

All right, well, we'll remember that. You don't mind a little diluted?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, he's a 16 year old boy. He hasn't drank water. He's only drinking energy drinks and Diet Coke all day.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, true.

[Chick McGee]

It's gotta be. That was real yellow, I'd imagine.

[Frank Caliendo]

We had the story. I want to say last week. Week. About the guy that drinks his own urine.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Remember this? Here it is. He's. I love this. He's called a wellness guru. His name is Troy Casey. He's described as being an author and a former model.

[Tom Griswold]

And what'd the doctor say about him drinking his urine?

[Frank Caliendo]

The doctor said. Well, here's the. The phrase not endorsed by physicians. Internal Medicine physician Dr. Michael Aziz said urinating is the body's method of expelling toxins. By drinking urine, you're putting the toxins back into your body.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, but you're just gonna pee them out.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but what's the point?

[Frank Caliendo]

The point is getting publicity, I think, for whatever.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, the guy's still alive, isn't he? Something's working.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm guessing he's single.

[Pat Godwin]

I know a lot of people who are dead that Never drink their pee.

[Chick McGee]

That's very true. And who do you wanna get your health advice from anyways? Doctors or former models?

[Pat Godwin]

Exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

Wasn't there some guy that stood in his urine?

[Frank Caliendo]

Was that my dad?

[Chick McGee]

Me in the shower every morning?

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no. I mean literally did. On purpose.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, yeah. There was a whole thing during COVID Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

About standing in your urine.

[Frank Caliendo]

Standing in your urine?

[Pat Godwin]

Did that guy ever get covet?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Pat Godwin]

They don't tell us that.

[Frank Caliendo]

Do they want us to know?

[Pat Godwin]

I don't want to know that. Standing in pee.

[Chick McGee]

They can't make money off standing in pee, can they?

[Willie Griswold]

Standing invincible is free.

[Frank Caliendo]

You know what he didn't get, dad?

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Frank Caliendo]

A second date.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, they don't want you to know about the home remedies.

[Willie Griswold]

Remember that stuff that works as shape.

[Frank Caliendo]

Remember that old commercial, bad breath in dogs?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't, but I have two that have terrible breath. What. What do you do for that?

[Pat Godwin]

I stop Frenching them.

[Tom Griswold]

No, you know you don't want to.

[Frank Caliendo]

All right, well, yeah, there's a lot of. A lot of urine treatments out there. Here's a zoo in China selling tiger urine for $7 upper very small bottle. Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Jake and I have talked about this before, but our grandmothers used to as an old folk recipe or remedy would put droppers of urine in your ear when you had an ear infection or ear wax buildup.

[Frank Caliendo]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yes.

[Frank Caliendo]

Where would they get it? Straight from the tent?

[Tom Griswold]

I never asked. I was a kid.

[Pat Godwin]

That's insanity.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Here comes old piss head chamber pot.

[Willie Griswold]

And get a high dropper.

[Frank Caliendo]

Here's the story of a man was arrested for urinating on the escalator handrail. Now when I was a kid, my mother would always go, don't touch that handrail. It's disgusting. I'm trying to turn the balance on a moving escalator.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, we have escalators in the news coming up.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, we do. We have a very odd escalator story coming up right now. I want you to tell me more about listening to this show on those great Raycon earbuds.

[Tom Griswold]

That's right, the Raycon everyday earbuds. They're perfect and they're perfect as a gift. Maybe a birthday gift for Willie G. Or Mom's day is coming up. That's right. Not just. I think it's May 11 this year and their latest model is better than ever and would make a wonderful Mother's day gift. Give mom 32 hour battery life, multi point connectivity and she'll never ask you for bluetooth help again. Raycon's quick charge function, just 10 minutes of charging will get you 90 minutes of battery life. And one of the best things, the earbuds come with active noise cancellation. And as Tom always talks about, they have a whole bunch of little tips that come with the earbuds so you can find the one, the gel tip that fits your ear.

[Frank Caliendo]

You're not going to drop them in the parking lot.

[Tom Griswold]

Exactly. And starting at just half the price. As other premium audio brands, Raycon's everyday earbuds come in a spectrum of vibrant colors. I really love the beautiful lavender color. Raycon offers a 30 day happiness guarantee return policy. You can't go wrong with Raycon everyday earbuds. Go to buyraycon.com tom today to get 20% off site wide. That's Raycon offering up to 20% off site wide when you go to buyraycon.com Tom that's buyraycon.com Tom mom will thank you.

[Frank Caliendo]

Now, Pat Godwin, do you know what the Molly Malone statue is?

[Willie Griswold]

I do indeed.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Oh, it's in the news today and we're gonna find out why.

[Pat Godwin]

I have my picture taken with it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Did you really?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, then you'll be very interested in this story. Coming up, comedians Frank Caliendo, Dusty Slay hanging out with Willie G and his birthday. Those guys are going to be in Louisville tonight at the Louisville Comedy Club for a very special show. And we're coming right back. This is the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio and this is the Bob and Tom Show. Hey there, travelers.

[Tom Griswold]

Kaley Cuoco here.

[Josh Arnold]

Sorry to interrupt your music great artist.

[Tom Griswold]

BT Dubs, but wouldn't you rather be.

[Christy Lee]

There to hear it live with Priceline.

[Tom Griswold]

You can get out of your dreams and into your dream concert.

[Christy Lee]

They've got millions of travel deals to.

[Josh Arnold]

Get you to that festival gig, rave.

[Frank Caliendo]

Sound bath or sonic experience. You've been dreaming of downloading the Priceline.

[Tom Griswold]

App today and you can save up.

[Frank Caliendo]

To 60% off hotels and up to 50% off flights. So don't just dream about that trip.

[Christy Lee]

Book it with Priceline.

[Frank Caliendo]

Go to your happy price price line.

[Willie Griswold]

Yo, yo, yo.

[Pat Godwin]

It's the Bob and Top show.

[Chick McGee]

That was a choice, man.

[Frank Caliendo]

Wow. What happened during the break?

[Pat Godwin]

I was hoping that I could get a little further in there like first time listeners and go, what is this.

[Chick McGee]

Is a crazy new urban show.

[Pat Godwin]

There's Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance Company.

[Frank Caliendo]

New Josh.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes, true dad, indeed. There's Pat. God word.

[Frank Caliendo]

He caught the bug and now dated white hip hop References.

[Chick McGee]

Josh, I liked that you did it in kind of a sing song that your show choir past couldn't go away. It sounded very Hamilton like.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, I don't want to sound Hamilton like.

[Chick McGee]

No, I just meant it's hip hop, but there's still that Broadway energy behind it.

[Pat Godwin]

I'll never get behind Hamilton. Remember, he was white. There's Willie Griswold trying to change history, my friends. Don't let him fool you. There's, you know, for those who get that I appreciate. For those who don't, go ahead, waste your time. Write me emails. The Originsouls.com sports desk. I'm Josh Arnold of the I Hate Stephen Singer Sidekick chair. We're all at the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. There's time.

[Frank Caliendo]

It'd be fun would be to get a show choir and have them do the. The darkest, nastiest hip hop stuff, but.

[Tom Griswold]

In their sweet little.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Frank Caliendo]

You know, jazz hands as they talk about offing the police. Horrific early days. Never mind. Let's see. Where were we? Oh, Pat, did you find that song?

[Willie Griswold]

I did not.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay, okay. Pat and I are hunting for something. Something. We'll give it a shot maybe a little bit later on. Right now it's time for a couple of things. First off, it's time to check in with Christy Lee. She is at the SILAC insurance news desk right over there. You got anything of interest?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you be the judge. Health experts say a phenomenon called death Grip syndrome can lead to sexual difficulties in men.

[Pat Godwin]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. The term death grip syndrome refers to repeatedly gripping the male member too tightly while masturbating.

[Frank Caliendo]

Too tightly?

[Tom Griswold]

Yep.

[Pat Godwin]

Boy.

[Tom Griswold]

Dr. Lawrence Cunningham told Metro that it's real and can lead to decreased sensitivity, difficulty achieving orgasm through other forms of sexual activity.

[Frank Caliendo]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Reversing the effects, he says, of the death grip syndrome involves using a gentler touch. Well, duh.

[Pat Godwin]

So it's gonna retrain yourself then.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's much like a golf swing.

[Tom Griswold]

You gotta get a coach, I think.

[Frank Caliendo]

Can you imagine you go up to a. A golf professional. Hey, listen, I've got this death grip thing going. Oh, really? With. Is this with your five iron? No, no, no, it's with my penis. Oh.

[Pat Godwin]

Try bending your knees. Yeah, man, that.

[Tom Griswold]

Have you heard of that before?

[Pat Godwin]

I haven't and I'm not guilty of that, I don't think. I think mine's the perfect. Well, it's perfect for amount of pressure.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, it's hold on loosely, but don't let go.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Cling too tightly, you're gonna get Death grip syndrome, man.

[Tom Griswold]

Ah, that old 38 special knew what they were talking about, Didn't I love that song.

[Frank Caliendo]

But pat, you a little tribute.

[Willie Griswold]

Oh, no. I grabbed my yellow fellow too tightly. Yellow twice tightly. I grabbed my mellow fellow. I got something I have to say.

[Frank Caliendo]

That'S good because we had the story earlier about the banana. The record for. I found something for that we could do. We could do a record of. You have to wear the banana hat and then you have to wear the banana bathing suit. The.

[Tom Griswold]

The banana hammock.

[Frank Caliendo]

The banana hammock. And ride a banana seat bicycle and play Donovan. Who got that? We got the banana trifecta plus one.

[Pat Godwin]

I don't think a masturbation coach is a terrible idea.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't?

[Pat Godwin]

In fact, I think there should be a class in junior high or high school for that. Just to teach Guy. Hey, look, don't do it too tight. Otherwise when you first encounter a V, it's going to feel like nothing.

[Willie Griswold]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

You got it.

[Frank Caliendo]

You sound serious.

[Pat Godwin]

Don't finish in every. Like, change up how you do it. Standing, laying down, sitting. That way you don't train yourself.

[Willie Griswold]

Ruin yourself for the real thing.

[Frank Caliendo]

Right, right.

[Tom Griswold]

What about for ladies? Shouldn't we have a coach as well?

[Willie Griswold]

I am that coach.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. For the gu. For the guys. It's. It's. It's. It's someone from the crew team. One of the lighter guys. The coxswain, ironically. Stroke.

[Chick McGee]

No, it would just be. It'd be the gym coach.

[Pat Godwin]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

That's who always has to do that job.

[Tom Griswold]

The sex ed thing.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, just that and driver's ed.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Why do they get stuck with all that?

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't know. But that's. That's the thing. It was very quite. We had a lot. Whole bunch of letters. We had a whole series of letters about people. And it was always the. The sex ed teacher and the driver's ed guy was usually one of the coaches.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

So my dream was to have a state championship team. And here I am talking about cranking it.

[Chick McGee]

Thanks to the new Arnold policy that's in the books.

[Pat Godwin]

That's right.

[Willie Griswold]

He's not wrong, though.

[Tom Griswold]

He's not wrong. It's not a bad idea.

[Pat Godwin]

And same with girls too, obviously. Christy. It's.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, it does kind of exist. Not in that setting, but there is a. There's a brand, a type of. Of pornography called JOI and it stands for JO Instructions.

[Tom Griswold]

You are a fan of this?

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

There's a girl and she tells you how to. How fast to go and which hand to use. It's like the Cha Cha slide of masturbation.

[Pat Godwin]

You know, I'm not a fan of those.

[Chick McGee]

You're not?

[Pat Godwin]

Every time I just look at it. Yeah, I know what I'm doing.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, you perfected it. At what age now? What? You. I. You claim you invented it. How old were you?

[Pat Godwin]

It's real cute of you. You can tell me.

[Chick McGee]

You got this. You know, Tiger woods doesn't need a swing coach, buddy.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay?

[Frank Caliendo]

You gotta. You gotta. Okay. Speaking of Tiger Woods. Of course, at this time of year, we always get to play this classic. A tradition unlike any other.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, gosh.

[Frank Caliendo]

The Masturbators this weekend on cbs.

[Pat Godwin]

You're the man.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's one of Mike Mark's great moments.

[Pat Godwin]

I. I don't play. Oh, it's you. It was not Mike Mark.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, that was you. I'm so sorry. Sorry. He's right here in the room. Sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

Drew.

[Frank Caliendo]

Drew, I'm sorry.

[Pat Godwin]

His name is Ace's replacement.

[Chick McGee]

Why not just Deuce.

[Frank Caliendo]

Kiss reference. That's very nice, Pat. Did you find the song yet?

[Willie Griswold]

No, sir.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay.

[Willie Griswold]

I could spend it all morning looking for it either.

[Tom Griswold]

How hard is it?

[Willie Griswold]

I'm looking for cow piss.

[Pat Godwin]

That is. That is. This was a wonderful conversation off the air. It was very serious. Oh, we gotta find that song. Yeah, you're right. I gotta look for it. I believe it's called Cow Piss. That goes. This is my life, Christie.

[Frank Caliendo]

No man.

[Chick McGee]

No man has ever been happy after hearing a woman go, how hard is it? No one's. That's always gonna piss a guy off.

[Frank Caliendo]

Pat, it was based on an article from the Hindustan Times.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah, nothing's triggering anything.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know how you categorize your tunes.

[Willie Griswold]

I don't like. I delete. No, I don't. I can't find Hindu or cow piss or anything.

[Tom Griswold]

The story, India, look up weird job.

[Chick McGee]

We say weird story.

[Willie Griswold]

Oh, I looked up India.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay, the story, this was. We had a story about a baseball. High school baseball player was caught urinating in the opposing team's Gatorade.

[Pat Godwin]

Or. Yeah, now, that was in New Mexico, correct?

[Tom Griswold]

Rio Rancho. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

But we got into the topic of the. The. The curative powers of human urine, which, by the way, I'm not a fan of. I don't believe we had a news story about. During COVID About how the Parliament there had to start telling people, please don't drink your urine. It's not going to cure Covid.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I remember that. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

But we don't know whether or not those People who drank the urine got Covid.

[Chick McGee]

We never got to do.

[Tom Griswold]

We never had a follow up, unbiased test.

[Pat Godwin]

That's exactly right.

[Frank Caliendo]

A member of parliament told party workers that she was consuming cow urine daily, saying it was purifying her body and was saving her from COVID infection.

[Chick McGee]

Who did she. Why? How did she tell. Did you just go to a town hall meeting and she wanted to let everybody know how she was curing herself?

[Frank Caliendo]

She's a member of parliament.

[Pat Godwin]

Wow.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So maybe she was just one of those lucky ones who didn't get Covid.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, but to be advocating drinking cow urine.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, no, you don't have to.

[Frank Caliendo]

And I, to a degree, I will do this as long as it's grass fed cow here. I just want you to know. Kelly makes me drink the organic.

[Willie Griswold]

By the way. Yeah, I'm over here looking for cow piss and what I think you. I actually have a cow dung song I think you just may have misinterpreted.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, there was another story where they put cow dung.

[Willie Griswold]

They put cow dung in soap. Did you remember that? During COVID Yeah, yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

They were rubbing it on their bodies.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I do remember that.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, God. Okay, we'll. We'll get to that coming up in a minute.

[Tom Griswold]

Sacred there. Do you have that song?

[Willie Griswold]

Of course. I found the cow dung, so.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay, well, right now I'll remind everybody that this is the Bobaton program coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. And we'll return to the news desk with Christy Lee. What have you got?

[Tom Griswold]

A new study suggests men are more distracted by sexual images than women. Yeah, duh. The experiments involved participants completing a test while being shown a series of images and just completing some of which depicted heterosexual couples engaged in sexual activity.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, that's what I get off.

[Tom Griswold]

Partially dressed. The study found participants responses were slower when sexual images were shown, with men particularly distracted by sexual imagery.

[Frank Caliendo]

Duh.

[Tom Griswold]

Duh. I mean, come on.

[Pat Godwin]

You know, maybe it was. Do you think it was time to do this study, though, with how many more women are watching porn than they were 20 years ago?

[Chick McGee]

Sure.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. How many more women are subscribed to Hot Guys on Instagram? That kind of thing?

[Frank Caliendo]

Just. I wonder.

[Pat Godwin]

They wanted to see if there were changes.

[Frank Caliendo]

I wonder if this is like an advertising thing for billboards.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yeah, they could. In other words, of the study and.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, so you have a billboard.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, if there's a billboard with an image, men are obviously going to be, you know, oh, look, Hooters billboard.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

How long they take their Eyes off the road.

[Pat Godwin]

Have you ever considered selling your house because you saw a hot picture of a realtor on a billboard? Am I the only one?

[Frank Caliendo]

You know what?

[Pat Godwin]

I may have to give old Barbara Call Barbara Cohen.

[Willie Griswold]

Here I go.

[Tom Griswold]

We don't see a lot of pictures of people anymore like we used to. I don't know why they don't do that anymore.

[Frank Caliendo]

What do you mean?

[Tom Griswold]

Of realtors on, like, the bench signs and, like, bus stops and.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, but I think Josh is right. You're seeing their ads on the. You know, stuck in the front lawn.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, with their pictures.

[Frank Caliendo]

They have. They have the picture of the. Of the realtor. There's a. Well, I'm not going to go into that theory of mine, but.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no.

[Pat Godwin]

Thank you for not given what he.

[Chick McGee]

Does say on here. How bad is it?

[Willie Griswold]

I don't know where this is going.

[Frank Caliendo]

I can't tell. It's.

[Willie Griswold]

Do you know, Josh?

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay, Pat, I found the story.

[Pat Godwin]

Awkward Avenue.

[Frank Caliendo]

The red zone. We have this new story. Doctors in India are asking people to stop using cow dogs to cure the.

[Chick McGee]

Coronavirus, and people are saying no.

[Frank Caliendo]

This is. This story goes back about three years. People in the state of Gujarat have been going to cow shelters to cover their bodies in feces and urine, believing the excrement might boost their immunity and help them recover from COVID 19.

[Tom Griswold]

You won't have many friends hanging around.

[Frank Caliendo]

Dr. J. A. JR Alal, President of the Indian Medical association, says there's no concrete scientific evidence that cow dung or urine works to. To boost your immunity. It is based entirely on belief.

[Pat Godwin]

But as Christy said, there is some social distancing that will occur. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, that's right. You want to keep people six feet away, Coach yourself in cow dung or any kind of dog for the most part. You could take parrot poop. They're going to stay away. And I've never had my doctor. Hey, Tom, I got your voicemail. Yeah. I want you to take two turds and call me in the morning. Okay. Good luck. Now, Pat, you have a little celebration of this.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah. I think we did this with an accent years ago. So do we do that now? No.

[Frank Caliendo]

What accent?

[Chick McGee]

Let's do it.

[Willie Griswold]

Dude, we're talking about India. No, no, no, no. I'm gonna be. I'll do it straight as me. Here we go. Put the cow dung in my soap. Buddha. Buddha. Put that cow dung on a rope all the. Buddha Day.

[Pat Godwin]

I want the accent so bad.

[Frank Caliendo]

So. So they're bathing in dung.

[Willie Griswold]

All right.

[Frank Caliendo]

Don't do it.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, that was Arnold Schwarzenegger.

[Chick McGee]

He's so bad at accents.

[Frank Caliendo]

That was a former resident of New Delhi living in. In Bulgaria.

[Pat Godwin]

In fact, do it as Arnold Schwarzenegger.

[Willie Griswold]

I don't think I can wash your hair in butt. Wash your hair in lap now. You smell like crap. Put the God down in the soap and I'll be back.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Calendo. You don't have to come in.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, he doesn't want to come in. Are you kidding? He's heard that break.

[Tom Griswold]

Poor Frank.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, God. Okay, that was silly right there.

[Pat Godwin]

Buda.

[Frank Caliendo]

So they put it in the soap, huh? Wow.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, boy.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, but they were using.

[Tom Griswold]

But they think they're kind of sacred there.

[Frank Caliendo]

What was the thing of the day? They were. Who was the. Some movie actor using snake semen.

[Tom Griswold]

It was Jessica. Yeah, I'm sorry.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, it's Jessica Simpson. Was used. Was allegedly drinking.

[Pat Godwin]

It's a. It's a slight. It's part of an ingredient in a.

[Tom Griswold]

Mixture in a tea that she was drinking.

[Pat Godwin]

It's in there. The old snake semen.

[Chick McGee]

I use a. I use a body wash with bird pooping it.

[Frank Caliendo]

You do?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Dove. We'll see you guys next time. Okay.

[Willie Griswold]

Hey, dial it back a little.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, I use a. I use a cream rinse with a. A cream rinse with bull semen in it.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, really?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, it's a mukaki. Oh.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that's so gross.

[Willie Griswold]

That wasn't bad though.

[Chick McGee]

I hate when people teach you things. You shouldn't know about that.

[Tom Griswold]

Right?

[Willie Griswold]

You shouldn't know about that.

[Pat Godwin]

Your dad knows what bukaki is.

[Frank Caliendo]

I've been actually that's because for I've been three years turning around, write a script for something for a line of trousers called bukakis and they're pre stained. I'll figure I'll finish it one day. We have time to check back in with Christy Lee. She is at the Silac Insurance news desk. What else is happening?

[Tom Griswold]

The statue of Molly Malone in Dublin, Ireland will be guarded by stewards to protect her from being violated.

[Pat Godwin]

Why would she be violated? She's just selling cockles and muscles. Alive. Alive. Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

The pilot plan comes after complaints of people groping the school sculpture's breasts.

[Pat Godwin]

I was.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you do that?

[Pat Godwin]

I. You know, I. I don't know that I did.

[Chick McGee]

Is it one of the ones like there's that like famous like Notre Dame or Harvard thing where everyone touches it so it's like it changes color?

[Frank Caliendo]

That's Lincoln, isn't it?

[Tom Griswold]

Is that so they do that in Maryland. University of Maryland. The Terrapin That's. It's all the patinas all washed.

[Chick McGee]

Is the boob now sort of shiny? Is it polished?

[Tom Griswold]

The bronze statue in Dublin represents a fictional female fishmonger.

[Pat Godwin]

If I remember correctly, she has, like, a wheelbarrow.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

According to legend, her ghost haunts the city streets.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So many tourists have touched the statue's breasts for good luck that the bronze, as Willie mentioned, has since become discolored, sparking calls for an end to the misogynist tradition.

[Frank Caliendo]

So tourists are supposed to go up there and grope the thing? Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Touch your breast.

[Pat Godwin]

Misogynist or childish. You know what I mean?

[Tom Griswold]

I think it's more childish.

[Pat Godwin]

Nobody's grabbing the booba. I hate women.

[Willie Griswold]

They're just being stupid.

[Tom Griswold]

Exactly.

[Chick McGee]

A week ago, I was in Florida and there was a sign with a big mermaid and she had a little bikini out. And I made my girlfriend take a picture of me reaching to touch the boobs. It's fun. It's a good time.

[Pat Godwin]

See that? I think that's funnier. Guys, take a lesson from Willie there. And what I'll do, I just point and with a huge smile on my face. That's funnier than actually touching.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

So you're going for it. You're not actually.

[Chick McGee]

There's the statue.

[Willie Griswold]

They are shiny.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, she is. She's. You can't see in this photo.

[Willie Griswold]

She's been rubbed raw.

[Frank Caliendo]

She's pushing a wheelbarrow, and she's only about a foot. A foot off the ground. Pedestal. And. Yeah, they've been rubbed raw. It's embarrassing.

[Chick McGee]

Also, not to sound like a dad in the 50s, but look at what she's wearing. Can you believe what she's wearing? Who dressed that statue up? You can't leave the house.

[Tom Griswold]

They're presenting.

[Pat Godwin]

Spilling out of the top. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, they are. She's.

[Tom Griswold]

Nice present.

[Frank Caliendo]

A Hooters waitress would be embarrassed.

[Pat Godwin]

Man, she looks sad, not happy.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, those Irish eyes.

[Tom Griswold]

She's a fishmonger.

[Frank Caliendo]

You know who made me wear this dress?

[Willie Griswold]

That's what she said, saying, I gotta.

[Pat Godwin]

See if I can find the picture of me next to it. And I hope, because I haven't looked at it in over a decade. Easily.

[Frank Caliendo]

Do you remember?

[Pat Godwin]

I hope I'm not grabbing them.

[Chick McGee]

You're not doing the Al Frank soldier.

[Willie Griswold]

Do you remember being that crazy rubbed off like that?

[Pat Godwin]

No, I don't. I don't.

[Willie Griswold]

So after you left the gut like that.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, that's. That's rough. What is the one. Isn't there a Lincoln one like that? Where the. No, Is it the nose?

[Tom Griswold]

I think it's the log.

[Chick McGee]

I think I heard a story about it. There's like a dorm in Harvard. There's a statue, and everyone touches the statue and it fades. There's the sign at Notre Dame and everyone touches that and it faded.

[Pat Godwin]

That's the Blarney Stone is all faded from being kissed.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Do they wipe that down after each person?

[Pat Godwin]

Not when I did it. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

You're getting the germs of the guy before you.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, I like to think that the. The mist that sort of permeates Ireland.

[Tom Griswold]

Really washes it off.

[Willie Griswold]

That's a dangerous tourist attraction as far as I'm concerned.

[Frank Caliendo]

Concerned you've done.

[Pat Godwin]

You only have to lean backwards, hang on to these railings.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, no, thanks.

[Frank Caliendo]

It was fun, you know.

[Tom Griswold]

Did it bring you good luck?

[Frank Caliendo]

He's out here.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Thanks to you, baby.

[Frank Caliendo]

Wow. Amazing. So this thing is. I'm sorry. So the whole point of the story is they're going to have to have guards standing next to the.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Frank Caliendo]

Was that. That's the essence of the story.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, don't touch those.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, yeah. They should go to the local strip club. Those guys are good at.

[Pat Godwin]

They sure are.

[Frank Caliendo]

Fending off.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Would be gropers.

[Tom Griswold]

They have strip clubs in Ireland.

[Willie Griswold]

They must.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know why. I don't think.

[Willie Griswold]

I wouldn't know.

[Chick McGee]

Gosh, how many times can they play that Shipping up to Boston song at the. At the strip club in Ireland?

[Frank Caliendo]

Nice potatoes, baby.

[Josh Arnold]

Potatoes.

[Frank Caliendo]

Slightly different. Okay.

[Chick McGee]

My ex had fingerlings. You got big Idaho. Look at those things.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Coming. Coming up, we're going to be joined by comedian Frank Caliendo and Frank on the road. And he's going to be taken with him Willie G. On his birthday today. And it's going to be Al Jackson. Willie G. Tonight at the Louisville Comedy Club. Tonight only. And then it's going to be Fort Wayne at the Summit City Wednesday evening. Thursday night it's Helium. And then Cincinnati's Funny Bone Friday and Saturday and then Columbus. Coming up on Sunday night, Willie Garrett along with Al Jackson and Frank Caliendo. Frank's going to join us in just a few minutes. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Unknown Speaker]

There's more of the show coming up. Book your next vacation with Christy Lee and Colette. Visit England, Scotland and Wales this September 28th. Visit bobandtom.com for details. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christy Lee]

Did you know that parents rank financial literacy as the number one most difficult life skill to teach. Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app for families. With Greenlight, you can send money to kids quickly, set up chores automate allowance and keep an eye on your kids spending with real time notifications, kids learn to earn, save and spend wisely. And parents can rest easy knowing their kids are learning about money. With guardrails in place, try Greenlight risk free [e-mail] Spotify stop on the line.

[Frank Caliendo]

Sorry, Josh, I'm turning into you.

[Pat Godwin]

It's the Bob and Tom show. As you can hear, we're getting jiggy with it.

[Chick McGee]

These kids out there, they're always getting jiggy.

[Pat Godwin]

They won't stop. Christie's here.

[Josh Arnold]

Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

As you can hear, that's Willie G. Sorry. No, no, you're good, man. We're celebrating your birthday today. And I'm Josh and there's Tom. Having fun, aren't we, Tommy boy?

[Frank Caliendo]

Having a good time? Yeah, I know. We have Christy Lee at her post. She's at the Silac insurance news desk where things are always happening. What's happening right now?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, a mountain resort in China is installing massive escalators to provide a painless hiking experience for their visitors.

[Pat Godwin]

Really?

[Chick McGee]

I, you know what? I kind of like this. I think it's, it's. People are going to say these people are lazy. It just makes the outdoors more accessible. I'm a pretty big fan of this.

[Tom Griswold]

According to the South China Morning Post, it typically takes about two hours to climb the thousands of steps to reach the summit of the nearly 5,000 foot tall mountain. At the Lingshan Scenic Area, construction has been underway to add a series of outdoor escalators to the mountain to help climbers reach the top. They're expected to open in May.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay, I'm looking at this thing.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a lot of steps.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's gig. It's. It's an eyesore.

[Tom Griswold]

Thousands of steps.

[Chick McGee]

They're not. You're not putting it on the pyramid. It's. It's a mountain. People want to go outside. It's going to help people get outside.

[Pat Godwin]

I was going to love this.

[Frank Caliendo]

Who?

[Pat Godwin]

The goats.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, man.

[Pat Godwin]

And the rams. They're going to be so happy.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'll tell you, if it's anything like the escalator at the mall where I go, that's more or less a metal stairway.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

You know the one I'm talking about? Yeah. They, they have a permanent not working sign on that one.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Keystone. Right by the movie theater.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, that's the one. Yeah. We're talking to you, Keystone, whatever brand that is. Hey, get a new one, will you?

[Josh Arnold]

Fix it.

[Frank Caliendo]

You know, we' enough money there. I spent enough money in that place. You can get a new escalator. But yeah, this is really the ultimate in lazy tourism.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, there is something to be said for the trek itself being part of the whole experience.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

But for those who would have trouble with that, and admittedly, two hours worth of stairs, that is. I mean, your quads are going to be so mad.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, well, they probably need it for the people that have a heart attack halfway up and they have to get them down. Oh, you know, that happens. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So how does this work? Do they go, Is there stairways up and then it looks like way down.

[Frank Caliendo]

Judging from this photograph, it looks like there is an escalator that is, you know, whatever, 200ft. Then there's another one, then another one.

[Pat Godwin]

Right. They can't have one belt that goes all the way up.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

And I imagine the stairs are similar. There are platforms where you can rest and take in some scenery. But there should be a slide on the way down, right?

[Willie Griswold]

Oh, yeah, yeah, we slide.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, that'd be great. By the time you hit, you'd be going 80 miles an hour at the end and there'd be death.

[Tom Griswold]

Have you heard about these new indoor slide parks? That's the new thing.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, is there one near us? Because I have to go.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, it just opened out. Yeah, I'll tell you about it.

[Pat Godwin]

Do you sit on a burlap sack?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know. I haven't heard. I just know there are a bunch of slides in the. In this indoor park.

[Frank Caliendo]

I was on one of those and I sat on my sack.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, man.

[Frank Caliendo]

No more. No more kids for me. The. I don't mean you've got the Great Wall of China. The Great Escalator of China doesn't really.

[Willie Griswold]

I don't know, the same.

[Frank Caliendo]

Sounds so fancy.

[Pat Godwin]

You're against it?

[Frank Caliendo]

I. I don't know. I mean.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, you make sure your shoes are tied, don't you?

[Josh Arnold]

How?

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, my concern would be that it would just constantly break down because it's outside.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, but that's.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, it's not covered.

[Frank Caliendo]

Even if it's covered, it's going to get a lot of moisture, you know? See, it's not covered.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, my.

[Chick McGee]

You know what? Now that I'm seeing this, it does look kind of like the end of the world a little bit. It looks like the park in Wally.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it looks like a roller coaster.

[Frank Caliendo]

It does. It Looks like a roller coaster. Oh, but you can see how long it is. Kind of. It sort of looks like the.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, wait, is the old walking trail. That little rickety thing that's just to the left of the mountain.

[Pat Godwin]

If that's the case, that looks like more escalator.

[Chick McGee]

If that's the alternative, then let's all take the escalator.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, for sure.

[Chick McGee]

That looks so.

[Pat Godwin]

It looks like a thin scaffolding along the rock.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Man, I feel like they went from 1 to 10 here. They could have just got a regular staircase before they got this.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, there's a staircase in the middle between them.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, but. No, but Willie's talking about that thing against the rock. Yeah, it looks like, you know, it's three, two by fours. It does some and some nails that may or may not be sticking. Sticking into the rock. I would not want to climb that.

[Tom Griswold]

Imagine building that. That's what I look at.

[Frank Caliendo]

I wonder if they local that local sherpas will sabotage. Do they have Sherpas in general? They probably import them. Talk about an outdoor mall, by the way. Okay, what else is happening?

[Tom Griswold]

Christy, how would you like to become a first time parent at the age of nearly 100?

[Pat Godwin]

100.

[Frank Caliendo]

I think I have the record for that in this room.

[Tom Griswold]

Pretty much. That has happened to a pair of nearly 100 year old Galapagos tortoises at the Philadelphia Zoo. The zoo overjoyed at the arrivals of the four hatchlings. A first time in its more than 150 year history. The baby tortoises are the offspring of female mommy and male Abrazzo, the zoo's two oldest residents.

[Pat Godwin]

Now in turtle years, though, isn't A hundred like 10?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Pat Godwin]

Especially these.

[Willie Griswold]

They get to be 300.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they get to be that old.

[Pat Godwin]

I don't mean to take away from the miracle that is turtle birth.

[Frank Caliendo]

How long is this lady turtle and labor?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, she had eggs.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, they got to spit out the egg. I mean, it must take some time.

[Tom Griswold]

The zoo planning a public debut of the hatchlings on April 23rd. As well as a naming.

[Pat Godwin]

I bet they're cute.

[Tom Griswold]

Four little turtles.

[Pat Godwin]

You ever seen a baby sea turtle? Yeah, even a cartoon one. You're like, I'm the world is wonderful.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah. What are they gonna. It's in Philly, right? And they're gonna let the city name it. Hey, everybody, come meet Cheese Whiz and Wawa. These things are cute. Don't look at me like that's mean.

[Willie Griswold]

So offensive to Philadelphians.

[Pat Godwin]

It's Philly. They're not go. They're going to kill them.

[Chick McGee]

I'm gonna throw it at Santa Claus.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, let me throw those in an umpire.

[Frank Caliendo]

Thank you very much.

[Tom Griswold]

Santa Claus.

[Pat Godwin]

That's right. They pelted Santa.

[Tom Griswold]

They did?

[Willie Griswold]

Yes.

[Frank Caliendo]

With batteries.

[Willie Griswold]

Yes, batteries. In the snowball.

[Pat Godwin]

What's going on in your town?

[Chick McGee]

Why don't you put me on the naughty list?

[Willie Griswold]

That's Northeast Philly. That's my. My people. I'm not kidding.

[Tom Griswold]

Authorities in Washington state arrested a man accused of abducting his ex girlfriend's pet chicken. The Kitsap Sheriff's Department said the victim reported her former boyfriend invaded her home, an unincorporated port orchard, and stole her chicken. Responding deputies found the suspect still clutching the bird while hiding in the woods.

[Pat Godwin]

This is why Port Orchard can't get incorporated. Stuff like this. I try every year.

[Tom Griswold]

And then he was arrested on charges of residential burglary and violating an order of protection. The chicken named Polly was returned unharmed to her owner.

[Frank Caliendo]

Where he's going, he'll be choking his own chicken. I think for quite some time between bouts of non consensual sodomy.

[Chick McGee]

It was already implied.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's too early.

[Pat Godwin]

No, I needed to hear it.

[Chick McGee]

You wanted to hear it. Excuse me.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hey. The chicken was ironically abducted. See, it's not a duck. It's a chicken.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, no.

[Frank Caliendo]

The horror.

[Chick McGee]

I worry minute I learned how much he genuinely loved that.

[Frank Caliendo]

Are you doing Joseph Conrad jokes over there?

[Pat Godwin]

He was.

[Frank Caliendo]

You got your guitar out. Why?

[Willie Griswold]

I love to steal my, my. My chicken. The pet. The pet chicken thing? Yeah, the girlfriend's chicken. Do we have time to do something?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, please.

[Frank Caliendo]

When we come back. Let's do it.

[Willie Griswold]

I thought so. That's why I put it over.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay, thank you very much. Coming up, it'll be comedian Frank Caliente, comedian Dusty Slay and by the way, Frank, Willie G. And Al Jackson. Tonight, Louisville, the Louisville Comedy Club. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Unknown Speaker]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Catch any part of the show you missed later Today on our YouTube channel.

[Tom Griswold]

This is a message from sponsor Intuit. TurboTax Taxes was getting frustrated by your forms. Now Taxes is uploading your forms with a snap. And a TurboTax expert will do your taxes for you. One who's backed by the latest tech which cross checks millions of data points for absolute accuracy. All of which makes it easy for you to get the most money back guaranteed. Get an expert [e-mail] only available with TurboTax Live, full service. Seek guaranteed [e-mail] guarantees jingle.

[Frank Caliendo]

I forgot the words.

[Pat Godwin]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. There's Christy Lee at the Silence Insurance company news desk.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi.

[Pat Godwin]

Pat Godwin's across the way. Already regaled us two or three times this morning with some wonderful tunes.

[Tom Griswold]

You're working overtime today, Pat.

[Willie Griswold]

What a day I'm having.

[Pat Godwin]

Willie G is.

[Willie Griswold]

And now the star is here.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes. The star he's referring to, of course, is Mr. Frank Calendo.

[Josh Arnold]

A real handsome gentleman.

[Willie Griswold]

Indeed.

[Josh Arnold]

The room. The handsome quotient of the room just got better.

[Pat Godwin]

That's right.

[Willie Griswold]

Tom's job.

[Josh Arnold]

Look at. Tom's looking around going, wait. Wait a second. That sounds fun. Familiar.

[Frank Caliendo]

Is that. Is that you doing my voice?

[Josh Arnold]

I know I wasn't really doing your voice, but I don't know why it was me. Why I turned you into this, like, east coaster all of a sudden.

[Frank Caliendo]

What's going on here? Hey, freaky season with Willie G. They're both in the room.

[Willie Griswold]

I'm Tom Griswold.

[J]

Welcome to the Bob and Tom show, everybody. That was Tony Soprano we didn't know was gonna be here.

[Frank Caliendo]

Come on, it's all about.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, Frank said his coffee this morning. There's Billy g. The orange. Orangeinsouls.com sports.

[Chick McGee]

I think Frankie got an Adderall prescription, baby.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm Josh Arnold at the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. We're all happily nested here in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio.

[Frank Caliendo]

Now, when you said that. I'm trying to think about how your brain was You. You were all happily. And then there was like a very short pause.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Frank Caliendo]

And you were trying to decide, what am I gonna say next? Yeah. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Don't you often do that?

[Frank Caliendo]

You come up with nested, which is very good.

[Pat Godwin]

Thank you. Yeah, I. I often.

[Frank Caliendo]

Then I stumble. I get. I. Oh, no, you're better. I have half an idea. Then I just collapse. That's Tom. We're all happily. There's Frank Caliendo. Be funny, Frank. I'm out of time. Happy birthday, Willie G. Hey, thanks, man.

[Josh Arnold]

Let's do the voices singing. Happy birthday to Willie G. Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Mark Ruffle. Happy birthday, dear Willie Al Pacino. Happy birthday to you all right. And many more.

[Chick McGee]

I'm gonna pull up a list of actors and the whole drive. You have to do every single actor on that list now, Dude.

[Pat Godwin]

Some of Willie's celebrity heroes. P. Diddy.

[Josh Arnold]

I felt like I'm not supposed to be. He's not supposed to be a certain distance with it.

[Pat Godwin]

Like Willie, are you out of your 20s now?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I'm 32, big guy. I'm all the way out.

[Willie Griswold]

I swear, I look so young.

[Pat Godwin]

Gosh.

[Josh Arnold]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

I know.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hair, all that hair.

[Chick McGee]

I'm going to lie about it. I think, I think I want to be like, yeah, I'm 26. Like how ladies do get away with it.

[Tom Griswold]

Pat did it for years.

[Willie Griswold]

I'm still doing it.

[Pat Godwin]

No, it's way better.

[Willie Griswold]

I am telling you, four years old.

[Pat Godwin]

Cuz people are going to. You say, I'm 32 people, oh my gosh, I thought you were 28. If you say you're 26, people are.

[Tom Griswold]

Going to go, oh yeah, See, I always subscribe.

[Willie Griswold]

That's a hard 26.

[Chick McGee]

I was in Vegas and I was doing it. I go, yeah, how old do you think I am? It was like 22 year old little kid playing blackjack. He goes, oh, I don't know, mister.

[Frank Caliendo]

Probably 45.

[Pat Godwin]

Right? Right.

[Frank Caliendo]

I go, what the hell, I'm never.

[Chick McGee]

Playing that game ever again.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but see, if you tell people you're 40 and then. And if you say, yeah, I'm 40, they go, wow, you look really great for 40.

[Chick McGee]

No, I'm fine. 32 is cool. Same number as Edwin James. I'm gonna start edging, baby. Let's do this.

[Frank Caliendo]

There we go, there we go. Now Frank Caliendo is with us doing some great voices already. And Frank, Willie G and Al Jackson are on the road. It's going to be Louisville, the Louisville Comedy Club tonight. Then they're going to head up to Fort Wayne for the Summit City Club. And then it's helium here. And then Cincinnati's Funny Bone Friday and Saturday, then Columbus.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

On Sunday.

[Josh Arnold]

Going great. Looking forward to it. Looking forward to everything except for the drive with Willie. By the way, Willie has been great. Like I told you this a while ago, when I have people open for me, part of the deal is you get to drive me around and get ordered around and stuff. No, but you do drive around a bunch. But today the whole plan, I think the plan the whole time was Willie was going to pick me up and bring me to the station. I think for two weeks I thought that's what it was. And then yesterday I texted him, you're grabbing me for the show tomorrow. Oh no, I've got to be there earlier and at a better part of the show than you're on. So I was like, wait, what?

[Pat Godwin]

What?

[Josh Arnold]

You're not coming to get me? So. But I had A backup plan because it's Willie.

[Chick McGee]

But no, it's fine. I did what I always go. I go, frank, do you know who my dad is? And then I just took care.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yeah, that works.

[Josh Arnold]

I did say, are you taking me to Bob and Dad tomorrow?

[Frank Caliendo]

Bob. I like that very much. Bob and Pop is better. He was right there. Frank, give me more coffee.

[Josh Arnold]

I could be so much better.

[Frank Caliendo]

Bob and Pop. Well, Frank, we're to give you. We're to give you time to think because we're going to make Pat do something again. Christy had a news story about some guy kidnapping. This is.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, a man accused of abducting his ex girlfriend's pet chicken named Polly.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'd like to know more about these people.

[Tom Griswold]

Have you not ever had a revengeful gal?

[Josh Arnold]

My goodness. There never been an accidental statement that went so well. And you had the Josh Arnold Paws in there.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, gal. Yeah, the all new Josh Arnold Paws, which is. I don't know where I'm going. Pause. Think, think, think, think, think.

[Pat Godwin]

Bing.

[Frank Caliendo]

I got this one. Accidental gal. No, we used to call that bushification, man.

[Josh Arnold]

Try to figure out what comes.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, people do weird things when their heart's broken. This guy barely wanted to steal her.

[Frank Caliendo]

Chicken, but I mean, these people have. I want to know more about their lives. She has a pet chicken and apparently.

[Pat Godwin]

Really cares about it. If the guy goes, I gotta take that.

[Frank Caliendo]

Right?

[Tom Griswold]

Exactly.

[Chick McGee]

Maybe it was like a custody battle. Maybe people love their. Love their animals. Must look like a dog.

[Tom Griswold]

That chicken, by the way, was returned unharmed to her owner. And the guy was found in the woods still clutching the chicken. He's been arrested.

[Frank Caliendo]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

It's got to be tough being a guy found in the woods, you know? You think you found a good enough.

[Pat Godwin]

Things haven't gone great.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, you're getting. You're getting tased holding a chicken. You're an unincorporated whatever. It was Portland County. Yeah, it just sounds like an interesting bunch of folks.

[Josh Arnold]

And here's Jon Gruden as a chicken.

[Frank Caliendo]

It was very good.

[Josh Arnold]

I tell you what, man.

[Frank Caliendo]

Now wait a second.

[Josh Arnold]

I want to try to do voices randomly for Tom.

[Frank Caliendo]

How about this one? How about William Shatner is chicken?

[Josh Arnold]

Took me a second, but I got to the.

[Pat Godwin]

Colonel. Kirk. Oh, thank you very much, Captain Spock.

[Josh Arnold]

Brock. Sulu.

[Frank Caliendo]

Su.

[Willie Griswold]

You can't do Sulu, can you?

[Josh Arnold]

No, he can't.

[Frank Caliendo]

Now, Pat, you said you have a chicken song for us? It's for you.

[Pat Godwin]

Really?

[Frank Caliendo]

Really.

[Willie Griswold]

It's a little feet tribute.

[Pat Godwin]

You're gonna love this.

[Willie Griswold]

The guy that stole his Girlfriend's chicken yeah. I've seen the bright lights of a courtroom and now the darkness of a cell I fought with my lady after she gave me so much help oh, she gave me a tongue last she loves her chicken more than me well, I broke down her back door Gonna make some fricassee oh, my girlfriend loves that frickin chicken Cops are trying to find me so I just flew the coop I kidnapped her pet chicken and now I'm on the lamb they caught me in the kitchen with a frying pan yeah.

[J]

All right.

[Willie Griswold]

Chicken for Tommy G. A tribute to.

[Frank Caliendo]

The great little feet.

[Josh Arnold]

Can I, can I be honest for a second?

[Willie Griswold]

Yes, sir.

[Josh Arnold]

I didn't think that song was going to be great at the end. And at the end I was like, this is tremendous.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you very much.

[Josh Arnold]

Like at the beginning I was like. I don't know if I'm buying it. I was all just bought a hundred percent.

[Willie Griswold]

I was buying in the beginning either.

[Pat Godwin]

When you frequency something, what does it mean?

[Chick McGee]

I have no idea.

[Pat Godwin]

You hear it all the time. But I don't know how. A fricassee.

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Let me look it up.

[Willie Griswold]

I think it's lemon lime and some capers.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, is that lemon lime?

[Josh Arnold]

Are you just a great liar? Is that what that is?

[Tom Griswold]

It's a stew made with pieces of meat that have been browned in butter and served in a soft. In a sauce flavor with cooking stock. So.

[Frank Caliendo]

I had no idea.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Frank Caliendo]

You're right though. It's one of those things you. It's. I think it's cuz it's such a funny word.

[Pat Godwin]

It is funny. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

No idea. Fre looks good.

[Tom Griswold]

Now I'm hungry.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm getting hungry now. Thank you very much. See, Frank Caliendo is here with us. Frank, everything going great at home?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wonderful. Mother in law's still there. It's great. Oh, good, good. Really good. So I'm still on the road.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hey, I tell you, no respect at all, you know. What a crowd. You guys are great. Does your, does your mother in law enjoy the. The Frank Calendo voices? I don't.

[Josh Arnold]

I. I don't know.

[Frank Caliendo]

Does she ask for like can you do John Barry more?

[Josh Arnold]

So does he have the same frame.

[Frank Caliendo]

Of reference as you? Yes. Yes. In other words, yes.

[Chick McGee]

Dude. Dick have it again. Sweetheart, you do a hell of a Cavett.

[Josh Arnold]

We need a little more Spiro Agnew in the house.

[Frank Caliendo]

That Jack Parr killed me.

[Josh Arnold]

No, I don't. I don't know. I don't think nobody around the house really wants me to do voices. I don't think there's any of that at all.

[Frank Caliendo]

Your kids do any voices?

[Josh Arnold]

Both kids do a Jon Gruden. I remember they. Juliet does the funniest one because just to see, at the time, she was like a 13 year old little girl.

[Frank Caliendo]

I tell you what, man, that's pretty good.

[Josh Arnold]

We're just all doing the Gruden family. It's tremendous. Everybody opening boxes inside a box. It doesn't get any better than that little spider 2y banana cream pie for breakfast. I'll tell you what, we fricasseed it, man. Know what fricassee is? I wonder what that kind of stuff is.

[Pat Godwin]

I'd like to.

[Josh Arnold]

I remember our Woody Woodpecker. Remember Woody Woodpecker?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, sure.

[Josh Arnold]

They used to have pressure cook, gator and sassafrasity. Sassafras. I was thinking it was frequency. Turns out I had two words confused in my head. Shasta, frass, grass and frequency. You can put them together, man. In Mississippi. That's a lot of syllables and not making a lot of sense right now.

[Pat Godwin]

You're right, Mr.

[Frank Caliendo]

Groove. Yeah, don't email. Don't email anything. John, you did a great job.

[Josh Arnold]

I heard that time where you got to the end of the sentence, you couldn't think of that last word. We were rooting for you to get it.

[Pat Godwin]

Like, I take my time.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's pretty good.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm careful.

[Josh Arnold]

Rob Schneider's like, you can do it. I do. I do a Rob Schneider, man.

[Pat Godwin]

Doing a Rob Schneider.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow. That's inception, man. Leonardo DiCaprio, when you got Jon Gruden.

[Frank Caliendo]

All right, okay, thank you.

[Josh Arnold]

Back to you guys.

[Frank Caliendo]

John Gruden, currently unemployed, but perhaps about to reenter the NFL. Well, that'll be interesting, but right now we have to talk to Josh Arnold over there. This is one of my favorite things. Josh doing professional radio. Everybody get ready. This involves one of our favorites, the orange insoles, people. Go ahead.

[Pat Godwin]

I know his criticisms.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Smack of jealousy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

So I'm unfazed, huh? If you have bit.

[Frank Caliendo]

I already messed up.

[Pat Godwin]

If you have back pain, hip pain or knee pain, it affects your daily routine, doesn't it, my friends? Well, you don't need that. I'm telling you what's happening. Those liners in your shoes, too thin, too flimsy. Offering zero support. Pat Godwin, which I'm offering right now.

[Frank Caliendo]

Zero support for you.

[Josh Arnold]

Exactly right.

[Pat Godwin]

Will you stop being a flimsy line liner and start being an orange insole?

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah, I'm gonna be More supportive from now on.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay?

[Chick McGee]

Thank you.

[Pat Godwin]

Orange insoles, boy. They offer arch support, deep heel cups that work better in your shoes to help support your body and give you better alignment. If you're working on your feet all day, you're putting stress on your bones and your muscular musculature, your muscular shirt musculature.

[Frank Caliendo]

For us.

[Pat Godwin]

Mr. Gruden, I. We're not paying you for an orange insoles ad.

[Josh Arnold]

I'll tell you what, man. I can hold my breath and almost turn orange.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, he's the color of a basketball.

[Pat Godwin]

Find the right fit for you and whatever shoe you wear with their insole quiz, you just get on there, let them know if you're wearing work boots or sneakers or dress shoes or running shoes or your wife's shoes. You name it. There's, there's an orange, orange insole for you.

[Frank Caliendo]

That first question is, do you have feet?

[Pat Godwin]

Yes. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Kind of important.

[Pat Godwin]

It's not all a lot, a lot of comedy there, isn't there?

[Chick McGee]

Keep going.

[Pat Godwin]

No cutting required.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, I. As far as a picture of the train, sorry. Back to you.

[Pat Godwin]

These insoles are true to size and, and they have sizes 15 +. Go to orangeinsouls.com today for free shipping. Plus, orange insoles come with a 60 day we want you to be happy guarantee so you have nothing to lose there except for that discomfort. That's Originsouls.com feel better. Do more.

[Frank Caliendo]

Very good. Thank you very much. We're hanging out with Frank Caliendo, Willie G. And Frank Willie along with Al Jackson. Tonight it's the Louisville Comedy Club Club. And then tomorrow it's going to be Fort Wayne, Fort Wayne, Indiana at Summit City. Thursday, Helium. And then Friday and Saturday, Cincinnati's Funny Bone and Liberty Township. And then Sunday, Columbus, Ohio, USA. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Unknown Speaker]

It's part sports.

[Pat Godwin]

We have football on the brain, Part pop culture. Dennis Leary, True or false. You refuse to wear a glove with Mickey Mantle's signature on it through be.

[Frank Caliendo]

The sandlot, the Red Sox blood, the Bruins blood, they run deep.

[Unknown Speaker]

Add in the best celebrity interview.

[Pat Godwin]

Robert De Niro here on the Rich Eisen Show.

[Frank Caliendo]

How are you, sir?

[Josh Arnold]

Just got over a 24 hour virus.

[Pat Godwin]

The antidote is to appear on the Rich Eisen Show.

[Frank Caliendo]

There you go. I would have done it earlier.

[Unknown Speaker]

And you've got the Rich Eisen show podcast.

[Pat Godwin]

There is a medicinal quality to appearing on this program.

[Unknown Speaker]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee's over there at the Silac Insurance company news desk. Cody, Matt Godwin's in music.

[Willie Griswold]

Hello.

[Pat Godwin]

Doing some great stuff this morning. There's Willie G. Sitting@the orangeinsouls.com sports desk today.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hey, man.

[Pat Godwin]

And happy birthday to you, Willie.

[Chick McGee]

Thanks, Josh, appreciate it.

[Pat Godwin]

Very fun time. And I'm Josh arnold@the ihatestevensinger.com Sidekickshare. Frank Caliendo joins us. My gosh, you rascal, you. Well, turn the mic on.

[Willie Griswold]

The mic's on.

[Tom Griswold]

Not his fault.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, they usually go on.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you know what?

[Josh Arnold]

You're right, sir. Okay?

[Pat Godwin]

We've all done that. We've all made mistakes. Speaking of mistakes, Tom Griswold, ladies and gentlemen. And now your mic's not on.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's because I was cursing you out. I'm a pro. I know when to turn the mic off. Now, I wanted to mention another show coming up Saturday, April 19th at the Diamond Joe Casino in Northwood, Iowa. It's Willie G, Jeff Oskar, Josh Arnold and Pat. God. Yes, Tickets are now [e-mail] so there you go. That's one of the great shows. Plus we got Frank Caliendo on tour. Details on that coming up. But right now let's check in with Christy Lee at the Silac insurance news desk.

[Tom Griswold]

Scientists say a day on uranus just got 28 seconds longer.

[Pat Godwin]

Really? Why?

[Tom Griswold]

A French led team studied a decade's worth of observations from the Hubble Space Telescope. Josh. And they discovered that Uranus takes 17 hours, 14 minutes and 52 seconds to complete a full rotation. The total is 28 seconds longer than estimates by NASA's Voyager. Two spacecraft back in the 1980s ever.

[Frank Caliendo]

Spent 28 seconds playing with Uranus.

[Pat Godwin]

That little laugh.

[Josh Arnold]

What is wrong with you?

[Frank Caliendo]

I the other. Because the other day Josh, out of nowhere started out. It's full of nerves and it's a pleasure center of.

[Pat Godwin]

It is just a bundle of nerves back there. Don't ignore it.

[Chick McGee]

You know how, like we'll tell him about stuff. I told him about Wordle. He had no idea. Then six months later he walks in. You guys gotta try out this Wordle thing.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

How great would it be if in two months he goes, you know, Kelly started playing with me back there.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You know what, you guys gotta check this out.

[Pat Godwin]

Some mild pressure really does change things.

[Frank Caliendo]

I gave her four manicures.

[Tom Griswold]

He would never.

[Frank Caliendo]

Now, by the way, I want to know, how do you get a grant to get a team of people to check out the time of the Orbit of Uranus. It's got to cost some cash. And does anybody care?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, these scientists care.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. It's in the journal Nature Astronomy. I'm sure there are astronomists out there everywhere going, wow, that's cool.

[Chick McGee]

If scientists only did stuff that people wanted. We just have a million more energy drink flavors. It's fine. They can do this work. It's okay. It's good.

[Frank Caliendo]

Can you do that song? Get pat. Sunshine on Uranus makes me happy. Makes me happy. I don't recall ever singing that John Denver classic. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Computers. Commuters in Washington, D.C. witnessed an odd site after a giant inflatable balloon created to look like the planet Mars rolled away from the Kennedy Center Plaza. The 30 foot tall inflatable became untethered from the plaza and rolled onto a highway. Mars was retrieved from the highway and returned to its spot at the Kennedy Center. The balloon is part of the Kennedy center celestial bodies, Earth, Moon, Mars exhibit which allows visitors to wander the grounds and examine inflatable models of. Of guess. The Earth, the moon and Mars.

[Frank Caliendo]

Have you seen. Did you see this thing? No. It looks just like. There it is. It looks just like the. At the end of the movie. Everything you ever wanted to know about sex, but we're afraid.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that big boob thing.

[Pat Godwin]

You're absolutely right.

[Frank Caliendo]

Woody Allen movie where the giant boob escapes. Yes, that's exactly what it looks like. Although more red, lightly sunburned. That movie still has its moments.

[Pat Godwin]

Absolutely. Yeah. Now, had you read that book? Because that was a popular book that came out.

[Frank Caliendo]

It was a. That book was hugely popular. And it was kind of short questions and answers.

[Pat Godwin]

Right, right.

[Frank Caliendo]

And everybody had it lying around the house. It was.

[Pat Godwin]

I wonder if you can. You have to be able to still get a copy of that.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, sure.

[Pat Godwin]

How quaint it feels today, if at all.

[Frank Caliendo]

I mean, it has. It had some solid science.

[Pat Godwin]

Right, right.

[Frank Caliendo]

And you know, biology and you know, put what your thingy goes in there and stuff. That would be very helpful.

[Chick McGee]

It's like I'm getting the talk all over again.

[Willie Griswold]

Did you ever get the talk, Willie?

[Chick McGee]

Not from him.

[Willie Griswold]

Oh, oh, that's.

[Chick McGee]

What's he gonna do? What's he gonna talk about the talk? This is only for procreation.

[Willie Griswold]

As much as you can.

[Tom Griswold]

What's it called? Preppy style or whatever. What do you call that?

[Frank Caliendo]

Ivy League style.

[Tom Griswold]

League style, yes.

[Frank Caliendo]

Leave your shoes on.

[Tom Griswold]

Just drop trowel pants at the bottom. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Look at Lincoln shaking my penny loafers.

[Frank Caliendo]

We have in the studio comedian Frank Caliendo it's always a pleasure to see you, Frank. Veteran, stand up comedian, a man who's done many bits of television. Have you ever been in a movie?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I did. I'm trying to think if I've done more than one movie, I've been cut from a couple movies. I did a movie, what was that called? The Comebacks. Is that what I was in?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, sure. The football deal.

[Josh Arnold]

I was an announcer. David Keckner movie.

[Pat Godwin]

Right, right.

[Josh Arnold]

And it was like. Like an airplane, Police Squad, Naked Gun kind of movie with football and I was the announcer. And the big game starts up. I was only there for like, I don't know, two hours. But they used me for the commercials and stuff like that. It was Al Michaels and John Madden calling the game. Unbelievable, what we're seeing here.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, you look at. You see what's happening on the. And then they cut. It's me just doing all the voices of the announcers for the game. So it was.

[Pat Godwin]

That's a good gag.

[Josh Arnold]

It was a great gag.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. And it worked. It worked really well for the commercials. Nobody, apparently. It was decent for the commercials, but not great to draw people into the theaters.

[Frank Caliendo]

Am I correct in saying, isn't there a new. Is it Police Squad? They're bringing back Naked Gun.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. With Lisa.

[Frank Caliendo]

Naked Gun.

[Josh Arnold]

Liam Neeson. Yes. Don't call me Shirley.

[Frank Caliendo]

That'll be great.

[Pat Godwin]

Hopefully. Yes. Yeah. He's a great choice.

[Josh Arnold]

He is so serious. And I've been. I've been thinking about that because it's an element of him just taking those. What'd you call it? Such obvious things. But the. Have you ever seen a grown man naked? Do you like movies with gladiators?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Like those lines.

[Willie Griswold]

He's funny in Ted, the movie Ted.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, the first time I saw it was Life's Too Short.

[Willie Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Where he does the bit with the little person from Willow.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. Warwick Davis. Warwick Davis, real good.

[Josh Arnold]

And he's got to do. I'd like to do some comedy conversation. Stand up. Here's a list of things. And he's like, oh, you've brought a list. I'm good at making lists.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, he's funny.

[Frank Caliendo]

There's a terrific book about the making of the movie Airplane.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Frank Caliendo]

And about how they had to tell these guys, no, we want you to be serious. They didn't want them to be. You know, we're handling the comedy here. You guys be really serious. So they've got Lloyd Bridges being totally serious. The whole. So I'm looking forward to it.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a great element of comedy when it, when you play things over the top so seriously that you don't know the comedy's going on in when such silliness is. I think those, the people that wrote that and correct me if I'm wrong, somebody can Google it. But I think they were from Wisconsin. I think some of the people from that group and one of the guys who bounced out of there, it created comedy sports. I think it was Dick chud now. So there was like a whole. Because they did Kentucky Fried movies.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, they did the theater first. Kentucky Fried Theater.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, right, right, right. Yeah, yeah. And they made Kentucky Fried Movie.

[Pat Godwin]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

And it was all about that. Just the ridiculous top secret was I think was done by somebody different but very similar.

[Pat Godwin]

It is the Zucker Brothers.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, is that Zucker's. Oh yeah, Zuckerberg.

[Frank Caliendo]

Val Kilmer's debut. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh man, there's such great stuff.

[Frank Caliendo]

We're hanging out with Frank Caliendo. If you're just joining joining us, we are in the, in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom show and Christy Lee is at the SILAC insurance news desk. And we missed anything.

[Tom Griswold]

The newest trend in wedding planning is to hire so called wedding content creators who capture your big day for social media.

[Pat Godwin]

I mean this makes sense, doesn't it?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's it. I am surprised it took this long. Web society, a wedding planning hub features the following pitch. Wedding content creators are revolutionizing how couples document their big date day. Working alongside traditional photographers and videographers, these professionals focus on capturing real time social media ready content. Think candid moments, behind the scenes snippets and trendy reels all tailored to tell your wedding story in an authentic and shareable way.

[Pat Godwin]

Also think another 10 grand.

[Tom Griswold]

An added bonus, wedding content creators have a very quick turnaround time, often within 24 hours of your wedding. Wedding.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay. They get the honeymoon on your only fans page.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

This is gonna work.

[Pat Godwin]

You can make some money back.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Boy, weddings are ridiculous. Why? I mean, you really are spending an insane amount of money.

[Willie Griswold]

That's just so stupid.

[Tom Griswold]

It's for the women.

[Pat Godwin]

Women don't like a nice down payment on a house.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, not as much as a wedding apparently.

[Frank Caliendo]

Why is that?

[Josh Arnold]

What's the the what's that?

[Tom Griswold]

I was not that girl. Even though I've had four. I was not that girl.

[Frank Caliendo]

You're not.

[Josh Arnold]

That sounds like you might be.

[Frank Caliendo]

Your last one was. Your last one was pretty lowkey, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Very lowkey.

[Frank Caliendo]

Nobody was there.

[Tom Griswold]

Nobody. Just the family.

[Pat Godwin]

Well you know, people learn. You think they'd learn, right.

[Tom Griswold]

After three you go, hey, was it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Reflected in the gifts?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, we didn't get any.

[Chick McGee]

Weird.

[Tom Griswold]

We didn't need wedding gifts.

[Frank Caliendo]

Your friends go by now, she's probably got a toaster. If not three. If not three of them. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

No. Don't you think it's. I mean, very few men really. Did you have any input?

[Frank Caliendo]

No, no, it's. I mean, don't you always like having that excuse? You can't. When you get an invitation to winning, going, oh, gee, I can't go. I've got a game I gotta watch.

[Josh Arnold]

Best part of being stand up comedian is you work on weekends.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

You can always get out of the wedding. Unless you're Willie, who's bailing on us later in the tour.

[Frank Caliendo]

But I got a bachelor party.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm gonna shave my mustache.

[Chick McGee]

It's a bachelor party, but I offered to go.

[Tom Griswold]

You're too good a friend. All your friends are getting married. So you're in everyone's wedding.

[Chick McGee]

Everyone's getting married. I have no money anymore. It's the worst. I'm buying so many rice cookers, it's crazy.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that your go to gift?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, it's usually the cheapest thing on there. 40, 50 rice cooker.

[Frank Caliendo]

Are they always destination weddings?

[Chick McGee]

No, I mean, they've been destination for me because I don't live in the same town as these folks. But yeah, I got to go to Louisville. I got to go to, you know, Carmel. Yeah, I got to go around.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. There's nothing worse than a destination wedding. I think you got to spend a.

[Tom Griswold]

Lot of money, go there.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's usually reflected in the gift, I think.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, the old thing is you don't. If you have to go, you. If it's destination for you, you don't have to give a gift.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

But I still like to give. Give gifts.

[J]

That's.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's the.

[Josh Arnold]

I think they're playing on the guilt there.

[Pat Godwin]

I think that.

[Josh Arnold]

I think they still want the gift. Well, yeah, I think. I think a lot of times the guy would understand. And the lady might not because my wife would not. There's no gift. That'd be a big talk.

[Willie Griswold]

And what's the rule? 10 years to give a gift, right? You have 10 years.

[Chick McGee]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

10?

[Tom Griswold]

I think it's 1, 1, 1.

[Willie Griswold]

Sorry.

[Josh Arnold]

Sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

I guess that's a good thing. If you want to see if it takes.

[Willie Griswold]

Have you been married two years? How long have you been married?

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, two years.

[Frank Caliendo]

May. All right.

[Willie Griswold]

I'm a Year late on your gift.

[Tom Griswold]

That's okay.

[Willie Griswold]

Do you like a Red Lobster gift card?

[Pat Godwin]

The one I gave you for Christmas?

[Tom Griswold]

A Kentucky woman received mail from her lifelong friend on her birthday. Speaking of birthdays, Willie. And opened it to find a familiar card. It's the same birthday card the women have been sending back and forth to one another for 81 years.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yes. We've. We've talked about these nice ladies before.

[Frank Caliendo]

Wow.

[Pat Godwin]

That's. I guess we're gonna talk about them every year until one of them kicks. Oh, well, I'm just saying.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, we'll read it until we won't. And then I'll just read.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Pat Darima. Who turned, by the way.

[Frank Caliendo]

That was. That was Godwin's nickname.

[Willie Griswold]

I knew.

[Frank Caliendo]

I knew you were.

[Pat Godwin]

When he was in jail, I heard.

[Willie Griswold]

I went.

[Frank Caliendo]

There we go. Hey, look, it's prison love.

[Tom Griswold]

She turned 95 on Tuesday and said the tradition began on her 14th birthday in Indianapolis when her friend Mary Wheaton gave her a birthday card.

[Pat Godwin]

You'd rather be Pat dariemer than Pat dreamed?

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Josh, I thought you said you liked all the nerves back there.

[Pat Godwin]

I like. Again, mild pressure, no entry.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't care about these people. You just wanted to make fun of her name. Let's face it.

[Pat Godwin]

That's hilarious.

[Frank Caliendo]

You don't care about these people.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm starting to think that we.

[Chick McGee]

We don't read this news.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't care about these wonderful old women. You're just wanting to make fun of her name.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

You should be embarrassed.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay. With the money these cheapskates save on getting a new car, they can go have lunch at the LS Air Tea Room.

[Josh Arnold]

Are they handing it to each other? Sending it across? Could you imagine, get lost in the mail, how awful that would be after 81 years?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, Pat and Mary, I hope you had a wonderful birthday, and I hope you have a wonderful time. And I hope you get to send it another 80 years.

[Frank Caliendo]

Years?

[Pat Godwin]

I mean, that'd be madness. That didn't sound sincerely a natural way to live.

[Chick McGee]

Really scary.

[Pat Godwin]

Just dust and bones.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

My God.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, I'm 180.

[Chick McGee]

You don't look a day over 130.

[Pat Godwin]

Everything hurts. I just had to go to my great, great, great grandchild's funeral.

[Frank Caliendo]

Wiping is a nightmare.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Look at me.

[Chick McGee]

I long for the sweet release of death.

[Frank Caliendo]

All my friends are dead. But I've got the card. Thank you very much. Right now. Perhaps a nice shot of whiskey would make you feel better. Field of dreams. Whiskey. It's out there. And it's from our friend Drew Storen. And what it's all about is the whiskey is made from the actual corn from the Field of Dreams from the movie. And it's an exclusive arrangement they've made with that field in Iowa. And their new batch is out once again. It's crafted using the corn from the most famous cornfield in the world, I would think the Field of Dreams field. And it's designed to honor the world of baseball. Each bottle made is is dedicated to one player in the history of baseball. So what you do is you go online, you go to drinkfieldofdreams.com Tom you might even find it at a retail a place that sells liquor near you. Once again, it's drinkfieldofdreams.com Tom and help celebrate. This will make a great Mother's Day gift or Father's Day gift for the bourbon lover. And it's like I said, available in many stores. Also, you can have it shipped to your place depending on where you live. And I must read this disclaimer. Shipping not available in Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Delaware, Idaho, Kentucky, Michigan, Mississippi, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah and Vermont. And of course, you must be 21 or older. And we ask you to please drink responsibly. Field of Dreams whiskey, the new batch is out and available right now. And like I said, what a great Father's Day gift or Mother's Day gift. Get it. And while there's still time and while it lasts, drink fieldofdreams.com Tom coming up, we have a very special treat and we're also going to speak with comedians Frank Caliendo and Dusty Sleep. And I'll remind you, Frank, tonight, one night only, Louisville, the Louisville Comedy Club with Al Jackson and Willie G. On his birthday. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom show.

[Unknown Speaker]

Just got to get a hold of us. Call, fax, mail or email, get all the contact information you [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Pat Godwin]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee's here. There's Pat Godwin. Frank Caliento joins us.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

There's really G. Let's talk to that guy more.

[Pat Godwin]

I actually want to get back to Frank because he does a guy that I need to hear more of. I'm Josh Arnold. And there's Tom. Frank, you over the Christmas holidays, you had a gentleman at your house who was helping your wife decorate and you did his voice once and I could listen to him for three hours.

[J]

He's a Lovely little man. And we're going to put lots of little pieces and we're building a Christmas village. And it's for everyone.

[Josh Arnold]

And he would always do. He would put down things that my. My wife Michelle would say, I don't.

[J]

Want that there, but he belongs there. See this? In a bit of extra snow, I.

[Josh Arnold]

Think she's got the Hallmark whole snow village thing that she spent probably three club dates on.

[Frank Caliendo]

And that's how you measure money.

[Willie Griswold]

That's exactly.

[J]

And we're gonna. He's gotta shovel this little bit of snow. He's gotta get rid of it. And now this little ice skater is gonna have a wonderful time. Cause he's gonna. He's just going in circles. It's. He goes in circles. And you would think he'd get tired of it, but he doesn't. He loves it. He loves it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Could we bring the cake in? I think we got a birthday cake.

[Pat Godwin]

That'S Willie G's birthday. Oh, gosh.

[Chick McGee]

Can the interior designer sing me happy birthday?

[J]

Happy birthday to you It's Marilyn Monroe.

[Pat Godwin]

What do you think about that? What do you think about that cake?

[Willie Griswold]

There.

[Pat Godwin]

Now look at this cake. What the heck is.

[Frank Caliendo]

Is this. Wait a minute. Get her on a microwave.

[Chick McGee]

Pancakes or tacos?

[Josh Arnold]

What is this?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, Willie, one of your favorite foods is. If you didn't know, it's breakfast burrito.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you for letting me know about that.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. And so I made a layer cake.

[Tom Griswold]

That is all breakfast burrito ingredients. So it starts with a layer of.

[Frank Caliendo]

Chorizo and then eggs and then breakfast sausage and then fried potatoes and onions.

[Pat Godwin]

It looks fantastic. Four eggs and eggs.

[Chick McGee]

I'll take two more, please. And thank you.

[Josh Arnold]

That looks awesome. And I think you have a new little boutique that you might be starting.

[Pat Godwin]

Savory cake.

[Chick McGee]

This is.

[Josh Arnold]

This is so I.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't you guys remember when we did the 50 layer lasagna? Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

So that's the concept, kind of. So what I'm going to do is.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm going to cut this into triangles.

[Frank Caliendo]

And I'm going to sear each side so that we can enjoy it warm.

[Pat Godwin]

This is great.

[Tom Griswold]

Happy birthday to you.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yes. Well, I think we should have perhaps, I don't know, could the president sing Happy birthday to Wilhelm?

[J]

Happy birthday. It's a tremendous cake. I've seen a lot of cakes and I've never seen a breakfast type of cake.

[Frank Caliendo]

Joe.

[Josh Arnold]

When I was a young man, I grew up in Scranton, Pennsylvania. We only had regular cakes. We didn't have any kind of cake. I've had A burrito cake myself. Let me be clear. This is a. Let's do Josh Arsau, a burger cake. Tremendous cake.

[Frank Caliendo]

I like.

[Josh Arnold]

I'd be careful with those, those candles. There's a lot of.

[J]

You got too many candles. We're gonna have to cut at least two candles.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, Make a wish. Thank you, Jack.

[Frank Caliendo]

All right. All right. Jessica Hooker supplying the beautiful cake. Thank you, Jessica.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a wonderful idea.

[Frank Caliendo]

Frank Caliendo hanging out with Willie.

[Chick McGee]

You know, more birthday cakes need Teresa in them. I don't care if it's red velvet. Let's make that happen.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's going to be great.

[Pat Godwin]

That's right.

[Frank Caliendo]

Get it all.

[Pat Godwin]

More freezel.

[Josh Arnold]

So good.

[Pat Godwin]

I had to, I had to show you. Obama's really good.

[Frank Caliendo]

I.

[Josh Arnold]

Listen, I understand. I, I, I've been around other impressionists like you.

[Pat Godwin]

Michelle would never eat that cake. She hates fat people.

[Chick McGee]

He's always saying that, isn't he, man?

[Pat Godwin]

He's always talking about why you.

[Josh Arnold]

You really crushed his point of view.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, we have Frank Caliendo hanging out with us and once again Frank's doing a little mini tour. We'll get to those dates coming up. But right now we return to the SILAC Insurance news desk. That's Christy Lee.

[Tom Griswold]

Georgia police have arrested a man who claims that his name is Speedy Gonzalez.

[Pat Godwin]

I hope it is.

[Tom Griswold]

Investigators say Mr. Gonzalez is believed to be responsible for thefts at several Walmart stores across North Georgia. Georgia that totaled more than $20,000.

[Pat Godwin]

Whoa.

[Tom Griswold]

WSB TV reports the WSB TV spring break that reports that the 40 year old was taken into custody on charges of theft.

[Pat Godwin]

It's actually silent but tv.

[Frank Caliendo]

Everything is closed captioned. I'm trying. Okay, well this guy. That's what he says his name is. Yeah. Well, Speedy Gonzalez now he was a character for. What was it? There was the Alka Seltzer guy.

[Josh Arnold]

Speedy Gonzalez. And there was Slowpoke Rodriguez.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. His cousin.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Some something elation.

[Pat Godwin]

I loved both of them.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Was that Bugs by. Was it Warner Brothers Looney Tunes?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah. I didn't.

[Pat Godwin]

Speedy still around? Actually he was. There's a new Looney Tunes show which is real funny.

[Chick McGee]

Really?

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Hell yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

And Speedy is still on and Fred Armisen does the voice.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh wow.

[Frank Caliendo]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

He's the best.

[Tom Griswold]

Is it. Where, where would we find that tune? One of the cartoon networks.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I'll watch it every day around two.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you. I try to a thing.

[Frank Caliendo]

So I. But was that, that stereotype is okay?

[Pat Godwin]

I mean I don't think it's a stereotype I think it's just a Speedy. I think he's just a fast mouse.

[Chick McGee]

It's not implying that all Mexican people are fast.

[Pat Godwin]

No, it isn't.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Which was rude, right?

[Frank Caliendo]

What was it?

[Chick McGee]

Those guys, they're always running around, aren't they?

[Frank Caliendo]

Now, I.

[Pat Godwin]

Or a Mexican guy doing Speedy's voice. I think that's the way to go. Is Fred Armisen of Latin heritage.

[Chick McGee]

Man, I do not know. He's so ambiguous that he played Obama and nobody had an issue with him.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I know. He's so terrific. And there's no malice coming from Fred at all in anything he does.

[Frank Caliendo]

What ethnic origin is Yosemite Sam?

[Pat Godwin]

American.

[Frank Caliendo]

Just a pissed off old man. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

In the old miner.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

He's an old prospector guy.

[Tom Griswold]

An old minor. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

What ination.

[Frank Caliendo]

Now, the. The voice you were doing earlier, Frank, of the guy that was the decorator at your house.

[J]

Yes.

[Frank Caliendo]

That'd be a good cartoon character.

[J]

That'd be a wonderful cartoon character. He's a lovely man, but he doesn't.

[Pat Godwin]

How old are you, sir?

[J]

In my late 60s.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay.

[J]

Yeah, I've been around for quite. I've seen a little bit of everything.

[Josh Arnold]

Sure.

[J]

I've seen. I've seen people try to. I've seen people try to put the ice skater on the right side of the spillage. You know, an awful play.

[Frank Caliendo]

Doesn't belong there.

[Chick McGee]

Do you have any other side hustles?

[Pat Godwin]

Do you?

[J]

I have dabbled in a few different things. I do home gardening as well. Some of my neighbors had seen me gardening and they were like, will you come to my house and help me out? Cause I'm having trouble growing my tomatoes. And I was like, I grow the most wonderful little red tomatoes and I grow them next to the greenest of beans. Green Giant has nothing on me. That big old angry man.

[Pat Godwin]

Will you. You. Will you be working at the Calientos again this year?

[J]

You think, oh, I have not been invited back. Had a little bit of an incident.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, boy.

[J]

I built a storage container and it took up most of the garage.

[Frank Caliendo]

Uh oh, that'll happen.

[J]

It wasn't.

[Pat Godwin]

They didn't appreciate it.

[J]

You can't park the car in the garage.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, that's the Frank side.

[J]

I was. I' to protect the village. You have to protect the village. Have you ever seen Game of Thrones? I was like, one of them Snow Village gets put away, then it does in a different spot than what I had built. It took absolutely no information that they gave me and I did not utilize any of it. I built whatever I wanted to against their will. Charged at hefty thumb.

[Frank Caliendo]

Do you live alone?

[J]

I know I live with my mother. I have no doubt she's more like a little bit more masculine version of me.

[Frank Caliendo]

What was your name again?

[J]

I'm sorry, Daniel, is it?

[Frank Caliendo]

Mr. Daniel, you could.

[J]

I do take that type of respect from people.

[Dusty Slay]

I take that type of respect.

[Frank Caliendo]

You're welcome.

[J]

I was.

[Frank Caliendo]

Accept it very much.

[J]

I've been called a lot of worse.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay, well.

[J]

A horrific thing they could get into.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay, that's okay.

[J]

STC would not okay.

[Frank Caliendo]

Coming up, we're gonna hang out with Frank Caliendo and comedian Dusty Slay, one of our favorites. Certainly looking forward to that. I'll also remind you, Willie G, Al Jackson, Frank Caliendo tonight only Louisville. Louisville Comedy Club. Then that's the Summit City in Fort Wayne coming up Wednesday evening. Helium and Indy on Thursday. And then Cincinnati's Funny Bone, Liberty Township coming up Friday and Saturday. Sunday, it's Columbus, Ohio. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Unknown Speaker]

This is the Bob and Tom show. Text us at 888-262-866. One more Bob and Tom next.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show here at the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance Company news desk.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi, Josh.

[Pat Godwin]

There's Pat Godwin giving me the business.

[Willie Griswold]

Hello, Joe.

[Pat Godwin]

Willie G's birthday is today.

[Chick McGee]

Thanks, man.

[Pat Godwin]

And so we've allowed him to sit at the Orange and souls.com sports desk as your gift.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you very much.

[Willie Griswold]

Make it work.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm Josh Arnold of the I Hate Steven Singer Sidekick chair. And Tom, one of our favorite people has joined, has joined us this morning.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. This is like a magic trick talking to Frank Gando. I, I just. And I also, I also want to be that guy, the guy that goes, come on, Frank, come on, do Morgan Freeman. Frank, please, please.

[Pat Godwin]

You are that guy. You know that guy. Want to be that guy.

[Josh Arnold]

And that's when everyone in this room realized that's exactly who you were.

[Pat Godwin]

But we have another special guest.

[Frank Caliendo]

Do we have him ready to go on the satellite? Oh, look at that. It's. It's the very handsome Dusty Sled Slay.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Dusty.

[Frank Caliendo]

Look at all that hair. Hey.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't have a good Morgan Freeman impression, but I'm pumped to be here.

[Frank Caliendo]

We're joined by the very fine comedian Dusty Slay. That is a good camera angle.

[Dusty Slay]

Is it?

[Frank Caliendo]

No.

[Dusty Slay]

I don't know. I don't know how to do. I don't know how to do this, so I don't know what's happening.

[Frank Caliendo]

What's funny. When you go to adjust it, your hands become gigantic.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Dusty Slayer is a brilliant comedian. Do you know Frank?

[Josh Arnold]

We've never met.

[Dusty Slay]

No, never. I know who Frank is. Never met Frank. I'm pumped to be here.

[Josh Arnold]

And I know who Dusty. I see clips on the Internet and stuff like that. I believe you've been through Phoenix a few times.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, quite a few times.

[Josh Arnold]

So I know that. Stand up Live, I believe. Or maybe the Tempe Improv, one of those. But awesome. Very nice to meet you.

[Frank Caliendo]

And yeah, I got in trouble for.

[Dusty Slay]

Trying to lay down outside in Phoenix. Apparently you're not allowed to lay down outside when you look like me.

[Frank Caliendo]

I could be very, very hot. Dusty Slay, Great stand up on tour. Lots of spots coming up, in fact, coming up. But this Saturday it's going to be San Luis Obispo at the Fremont Theater. Lots of other shows, including Colorado Springs, Modesto, Bakersfield. I notice you've got dates going all the way to December 12th, Dusty. I can't wait.

[Dusty Slay]

You're really working me hard.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, but you got Green Bay, Elkhart, Columbus, Milwaukee, Madison, Bakersfield, Modesta. You're going to be everybody everywhere.

[Dusty Slay]

There's dates that you're telling me right now that I'm just learning for the first time.

[Frank Caliendo]

What the hell. Yeah. I mean, nothing's better than, you know, late November in Green Bay.

[Dusty Slay]

I know. That's my favorite time to get up there and just run through the snow.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, now, what's new in your life? Anything interesting happening?

[Dusty Slay]

Lots of interesting things, but I don't know if anything's new, you know, I'm just doing comedy. I'm having a good time. I, I, you know, I just wash some jeans, which I don't do very often. I don't like to wash my jeans because it messes them up if you put them in the dryer. So I hang them up, but I don't have a good place to hang them. So I hang them like in a place that, where I never go. And then I forget that I own the jeans. And then weeks go by and then I find them and I go, who hung jeans out here? And then they're all hard and wrinkled.

[Frank Caliendo]

Mildude.

[Dusty Slay]

I. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Do you hang them inside or outside?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, you know, it was a little cold, so I wanted to hang them in. I put them in the garage and I go, where did all my jeans go? And I find them and there's little bits of paper on them. And I always wash my pants with a set list in there.

[Pat Godwin]

I like.

[Frank Caliendo]

It same. Now are you living who, who all is living in your abode the this point?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, now it's me and my wife and my two kids. I have a daughter and a son.

[Frank Caliendo]

How old are they?

[Dusty Slay]

Almost four and almost two.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's great.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah. So we just, we did the Grand Old Opry this weekend and I took them with me and I want my kids to see me doing something, but I don't think they know what I'm up to. Yeah, they're like, what's he doing out there?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, well, Frank, Frank can talk about that.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, my kids, my kids had no idea. And then I took a bunch of time off and they didn't think I started to go back out on the road just so my kids. I think this is kind of what you were saying is just so my kids would realize that in the real world you have to work and go do stuff. That if I didn't do that, I felt like I was setting a bad example. And I thought these kids are getting the wrong idea of what life is all about. So I need to just fighting between mom and dad and I think, why don't you do anything? And now I'm doing Tom character voices. You notice that I've really stepped it up, but it's getting back out and doing stuff. And my kids are kind of amazed to see me working. They're like, oh, you're back at it again. They're in college so they understand it. But I did really make a concerted effort to get out there and work in front of them and do something because I felt like they're not getting a glimpse of the real world.

[Frank Caliendo]

Right. Is there a point where you can actually impress them? Do they bring a, bring a friend by? Hey, you know my dad's Frank Caliendo? No, because he, Dusty's kids are so little that you're not going to want unless you can you do any impressions that will impress a four year old?

[Dusty Slay]

No, I don't think so. I mean my, this is the thing too. Even with tv, like it feels like it used to be if you're on TV, it's impressive. But now because YouTube is on TV, they see me on there all the time. It's not even a big deal. I'm like, hey, I did the Tonight Show. And they're, they, they're like, yeah, you're on the TV like you always are.

[Josh Arnold]

I actually did that Was one of my things that I noticed early on in Internet was I did Letterman. I wanted to do Letterman. Letterman my entire life. I finally got on it. People saw it and they're like, yeah, but are you. What are you doing on YouTube? I'm like, this is. This is TV. This is David Letterman.

[Frank Caliendo]

What's.

[Josh Arnold]

And you care about. You want me to be on something that anybody can be on, just posting themselves. I don't understand entertainment anymore.

[Frank Caliendo]

Wow. Yeah. Now, Dusty, the best way to see comedy is live and in person, right?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, that's right. I mean, that is right. You never know what's going to happen. Live shows are the best. The best. I do, you know, sometimes I do an hour and 20 minutes out there. You never know what's going to happen. And live comedy is the best.

[Frank Caliendo]

I forgot to. I don't have this ready, but I. Someone sent me a letter, Dusty, not too long ago, because when you were on last time, you talked about your early days in your career when you were working at Hyman's Restaurant in beautiful Charleston, South Carolina. We got a really nice letter from some of the folks at Hyman Simmons saying next time we're in town to come on in and say hello.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh, yeah, that would be great. Get a photo op in there. I think they finally put my picture on the wall.

[Frank Caliendo]

Were you a busboy or a waiter? What was the.

[Dusty Slay]

I did a little bit of everything. I was a food runner. That's how I started. And then I became a. A server. I did a little hosting. You know, I was all over the place. I did a little catering for an event. One time I did catering for an event and I just drank the whole time. I was really dishing it out. But that picture is on the wall. I had short hair, no beard. I was real sweaty because it was hot and I was drunk. And that picture has been on the wall for 20 years up there.

[Frank Caliendo]

And you do. I should point out, for those of you listening on the radio, you do have hair down to your nipples and a big beard. If they ever want to do Jesus Christ Superstar again, you could pretty much be there right before the crucifixion.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I got a. The more hair I have, the better I look. I think I cover up more things, but I got a little spot in my beard here where the microphone. I think I've rubbed my beard.

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't have to think about it.

[Josh Arnold]

You have.

[Dusty Slay]

I. I do. My sets are too long. I used to make fun of comics that would go for too long, and now I'M that guy. I would go. When they would go like an hour and a half, I'd go, what's going on in your life that you need to be up there that long? And now that's what I do.

[Frank Caliendo]

Now, are. Are you a. Are you a drinker? Would you drink when you're on stage? Do you.

[Dusty Slay]

No, I don't drink. I haven't drank in since 2012. But, you know, I drink water. And then a lot of times I'll have, you know, 30 minutes left and I'll have to pee real bad. And I'm just up there. But you can't tell because I already do a little nervous kind of dance anyway. I'm not nervous, but it's some energy that runs through me that I'm like, I gotta move around a little bit so I look like I have to.

[Frank Caliendo]

Pee the whole show Now, Frank, have you ever had to exit on a.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I've had worse than that. I've had the other. Really, in Vegas and had to do, like. I was just doing ab exercises for about 20 minutes, and I got done maybe a couple minutes early because I couldn't hold. And I just ran backstage and got out of there as quickly as I made it. But it was. It was one of those close, close calls that wouldn't have been pretty. Yeah, but I. But, yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

What voice do you apologize and I.

[Pat Godwin]

All of them.

[Josh Arnold]

I do the smorgasbord, of course. Sorry. I got a run. I think he's got the runs. It's the tremendous runs.

[J]

Probably the greatest.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna meander. That's what we're gonna do.

[Dusty Slay]

I was opening for Bert Kreischer in. In Lexington, Kentucky, and he had to. He had to do that. So he called me back on stage so he could go to the bathroom, and I did jokes while he was in the bathroom.

[Willie Griswold]

Mike Verbiglia did that for Hedberg.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, famously.

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

I had to do it for one of the Untamed Shrews. Do you remember that?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, of course I do. Remember what they said?

[Willie Griswold]

Sold after the show. Can you even say that on the air?

[Pat Godwin]

I know, I know. It was a bib.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah, it was a bib.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I got it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Dusty Slay is our guest, and Dusty is currently at home, about to hit the road. Lots of spots, including San Luis Obispo coming up this Saturday night. And then you're all over the place. You're very busy. It looks like you've got July off and most of June. Are you going on vacation?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I do some gardening and you know, I do a little light farming, so that's a good growing month and me and my family can hang out. I've been watching videos on how to become friends with crows, so I need a little of me time, you know?

[Frank Caliendo]

Do, do you have any land?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I got a little land outside of Nashville. I got about. I got about 10 acres. I got a little cabin, so I planted a bunch of fruit trees and you know, we go out there and mess around. I got a creek. My daughter plays at the creek. It's a lot of fun.

[Frank Caliendo]

Excellent. Do you have any kind of off road vehicle?

[Dusty Slay]

Yeah, I gotta. Well, I don't like to tell people because I'm not out there all the time. I don't want people stealing my stuff. But I do have, I do have a four wheeler and I got a zero turn lawnmower, so. And it's real hilly. I don't know if you've. I. I wrecked the zero turn on the second day I had.

[Frank Caliendo]

Those things always scare me because I'll be driving down the street, there's a guy coming right at me and all of a sudden does the zero turn.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Dusty Slay]

Oh yeah. Well, it's a. You go down a hill and then kick it around and then you can slide. You sling it around.

[Pat Godwin]

So Tokyo Drift, the.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's like driving a Zamboni. Yes, great.

[Chick McGee]

But I.

[Dusty Slay]

But I wrecked it in a ditch right away and mess it up. I had to get it repaired. But it's. I mean, the adrenaline of wrecking a zero turn. I mean, I didn't flip it, I just drove it down in a ditch on a bunch of rocks and was smoking.

[Frank Caliendo]

And Dusty slay on the road. Thanks again, Dusty. It's always a great pleasure. Comedy special is entitled Working man, currently on Netflix.

[Dusty Slay]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Frank Caliendo]

Awesome.

[Dusty Slay]

I just filmed a new one. Hopefully it'll be on Netflix too. So I'm very pumped.

[Pat Godwin]

Excellent.

[Frank Caliendo]

Could you have a title for it yet?

[Dusty Slay]

Well, I think it's a working title, but I think I'm gonna call it Hot show because I just come out and I go, this is a hot show. That's what I do every show.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, they're all hot.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay.

[Dusty Slay]

I wanted to call it. I wanted to call it Wet Heat, but that sounded too.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, yeah, that may. That may have been taken by some pornographer. I'm just saying. Thank you very much, Dusty Slay. Now I'd like to do a quick recommendation if you want to watch a Dusty's special and just sit there and relax, knowing that you're safe. That's where simply safe comes in. Chick Magee brought Simplisafe into our studios for the first time about a decade ago and he installed it himself. And you can still do that. They call it Simplisafe because it takes home security to a very simple level, realizing you really only need a handful of things and you can do what you're yourself and you're going to be able to relax and be fully protected. Simplisafe now in millions of homes here in the usa, get some peace of mind by knowing that your home is protected. You can be there sleeping and know that if something goes wrong, that alarm is going to go off. Traditional security systems only take action after somebody's already broken in. That's too late. Simplisafe has something new called Action Active Guard Outdoor Protection. It can help prevent break ins before they have happen. AI powered cameras backed by live professional monitoring. Agents can see what's going on. If there's somebody lurking out there, the agents can see and actually talk to them and go. You may want to leave before the police get here. They can activate spotlights. They can even contact the police. No long term contracts or cancellation fees. By the way, there's a 60 day satisfaction guaranteed thing happening at Simplisafe. Check it out@simplisafe tom.com to claim 50% off today, a new safe system with a professional monitoring plan that's 50% [e-mail] simplisafetom.com there's no safe like Simplisafe. When we come back, a little surprise that Frank doesn't know about or nor does Patty G. We're going to see do a little something with Frank Caliendo. And once again, Frank and Willie and Al on the road tonight, it's Louisville, the Louisville Comedy Club. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee's over there at the Silac Insurance Company news desk.

[Tom Griswold]

So good to be here.

[Pat Godwin]

Good. There's Pat Godwin. Hello, Willie G. Across the way@the orangeinsouls.com sports desk.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, man.

[Pat Godwin]

Eating his breakfast burrito birthday cake that Jess Hooker made him. Delicious.

[Chick McGee]

It was so good.

[Pat Godwin]

Awesome.

[Chick McGee]

Cutting it, stacking like a pizza. Delicious.

[Pat Godwin]

Wonderful. I'm Josh arnold@the ihatestevensinger.com Sidekick Chair Frank Caliendo has joined us this morning having a lovely time. Yes, indeed. As has Daniel the decorator Man, I.

[J]

Would love to partake in some of that.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[J]

Wonderful breakfast. Hey, Daniel. So many layers. A layer of chorizo. I don't even know what chorizo is.

[Pat Godwin]

Kind of a spiced Mexican sausage.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, I have a question, Daniel. What would happen if in the. In the course of your laying out this beautiful thing, you hit your thumb with a hammer really hard?

[J]

Oh, I've done it many times. I would just scream in agony. Everyone would know about it. I would make sure that people tended to me for an exaggerated amount of time. And exorbitant. Some word with an ex at the beginning.

[Frank Caliendo]

Very nice. Now, Frank, Calendo. What's your with us? Frank, it's always a great pleasure to see you and to hear you and we put you to work. Yes. We do a challenge every time you come in. We like to try to throw something, a curveball. You're not aware of what's happening.

[Pat Godwin]

Apparently went viral once, so we have to do it every time.

[Frank Caliendo]

Once again, Josh, it's anything to repeat.

[Chick McGee]

One time I was driving friend to a show and he goes, yeah, I just hate it when I get in a room and you know, these guys, they just, oh, do this voice dance, monkey dance. And I go, oh, you mean exactly what my dad does?

[Willie Griswold]

Well, behind the curtain.

[J]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no, actually, I. Then I did say it makes sense on the air and stuff like that, but in. In real life, everyday life, when people do that, it's kind of like, wait, it's not. I just want to be a regular person right now.

[Pat Godwin]

It's hard to be treated like a person here.

[Josh Arnold]

I want to sell tickets to Louisville tonight. By the way, if I'm going to go through this, I'm going to mention Des Moines. We got Des Moines coming up. Toledo, Appleton and Appleton later in the month and in May. So Frank unstopped for all those tickets, including this week as well, which you've graciously mentioned 6,000 times that I appreciate as well.

[Frank Caliendo]

So it's Fritz frankonstage.com so.com.

[Josh Arnold]

A lot of people use the dot com, you know, suffix there.

[J]

It's wonderful people are using that. People are not using the dotnet I used to have Daniel.

[Frank Caliendo]

Now don't you still use the W? Do you use the www?

[J]

I don't. I. Everybody knows it's assumed.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, they don't. I just saw a TV commercial that had. Be sure to call ww.

[Tom Griswold]

Did they really?

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, yeah.

[J]

What kind of product was it for older people?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, we use it on Bob and Tom 247 by the way. If you're listening on the app, they will say www.bob and tom.com. careful throwing stones.

[Chick McGee]

We just got rid of the HTTP/.

[Frank Caliendo]

I mean, what. Tell us. Tell someone that's in charge of that now. Once again, Frank on tour, we'll get all those dates and get them out there. But right now. Patty G, you comfortable with this?

[Willie Griswold]

Hell yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

What about me? Am I comfortable with this?

[Frank Caliendo]

This is a classic song from. What is this? Late 70s. The great band the Village People.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm trying to give a group right in there.

[Chick McGee]

John Crude had a great start.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Young man, there's no need to feel down. I said, young man, Pick yourself up off the ground. I don't know if might add a syllable there. And I said, young man. Cause you're new in town now I added a lesson that's subtraction. When you add by subtraction, that's called doge, man. All right, there's no need. I screwed myself up fine. There's no need to be unhappy. I don't know where it is in the song. Young man, are you changing the voices of this? You enjoying it so much you want to go Nicholson?

[Frank Caliendo]

Sure. Young man, there's a place you can go. I said, young man, when you're short.

[Josh Arnold]

On your dough, the rhyming in this is incredible.

[Frank Caliendo]

You can.

[Josh Arnold]

You can stay there. And I'm sure you will find many ways that I'm screwing it up, man. Give me another voice.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's fun to stay at the ymca.

[Josh Arnold]

Especially if you call out the names, which you're not doing. It's.

[Frank Caliendo]

How about President Trump at the ymca?

[Josh Arnold]

They have everything for young men doing. I like.

[J]

Let's start back at this.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm gonna go back.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm gonna go back a little bit.

[J]

Back to my younger days. And we actually played a lot of this. It's fun to stay at the ymca. It's fun to stay at the library. Trump the Y. Mca. They have everything for young men to enjoy. You can hang out with all the boys. I think there's some double meaning here.

[Chick McGee]

I think you might be on to something, Joe.

[Josh Arnold]

Just want to say the why.

[Frank Caliendo]

Why?

[Josh Arnold]

Why are we doing this?

[Frank Caliendo]

Don't say the why would President George W. Bush ever go to the ymca?

[Josh Arnold]

You can get yourself clean up the energy. You can have a good meal. You can do whatever you feel. Young man, I don't go with the music. I just do whatever I want. Are you listening? Let's start at the top. I know those lyrics better. Young man.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, you two are Quite the team.

[Josh Arnold]

It's fun to stand by John C. Rally. It's fun to stare at the wire ymca. The fun to stay at the ymca. I don't know where the rest of this. Just kind of working your way through it and maybe you'll take the plugs.

[Frank Caliendo]

Back for all the shows. How about lastly, Tracy Morgan at the ymca.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that's crazy. It's fun to stay at the ymca. Put a baby in you at the. Yeah. Truth of the matter is I think this ended up in a completely different category than we all thought it was.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, thank you very much, Morgan. Very nice. Thank you. Pat Godwin. I'm the fiance over there.

[Chick McGee]

Good job, boys.

[Josh Arnold]

I think I had a little bit at the beginning. I got off the rails a little bit.

[Frank Caliendo]

That was good. That was great. Thank you very much.

[Josh Arnold]

Thank you very much. Let's move on.

[Frank Caliendo]

Back from the top.

[Tom Griswold]

I like that keyboard a lot. Sounds really good.

[Frank Caliendo]

Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Now we do have if you're just joining us, by the way, this is the Bombaton program. We are coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios at the Orange Insole Sports disc. It's the birthday man, Willie G. Look at that man. Happy birthday, Willie. And Willie's on the road with with Al Jackson and the great Frank Caliendo. Tonight, Louisville, the Louisville Comedy Club, one night only. Then it's Fort Wayne's Summit City, Wednesday, Helium Thursday and Cincinnati, Cincinnati's Funny Bone, Liberty Township coming up Friday and Saturday. Then it's Columbus, Ohio on Sunday. A lot going on. But right now we return to the Silac Insurance news desk with Christy Lee.

[Tom Griswold]

A Chinese court is auctioning off 110 tons of live crocodiles after China's Crocodile God park went bankrupt. According to the South China Morning Post, the reptiles were originally owned by the Guangdong Hongdi Crocodile Industry Compound Company with its founder, Mojang Rong, earning the moniker the Crocodile God. However, the Siamese crocodiles were seized after the company failed to meet its financial obligations and they are not attached to the breastbone Together. They're not that kind of Chinese.

[Frank Caliendo]

These are living crocodiles, right?

[Tom Griswold]

The Shenzhong Nashan's People's Court announced its auctioning off the animals with a starting bid set at $550,000 dollars.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, they're valuable.

[Tom Griswold]

The sale also requires buyers to pick all the reptiles up in person. Crocodiles are considered a highly profitable species due to their use in more than 100 products in China ranging from leather and meat to health tonics, cosmetics and even wine.

[Frank Caliendo]

So but you got. The trick to this is you've got to go get them yourself.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, yeah. 100 tons of live crochet crocodile.

[Pat Godwin]

And what do you get?

[Frank Caliendo]

What do you get?

[Tom Griswold]

You get.

[Frank Caliendo]

Do they make. They make handbags and stuff and shoes, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but it says here they make wine as well. I've never had crocodile wine before. I've drank a lot of wine in my day.

[Frank Caliendo]

We know that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Crocodile Wine. Seventeen little strawberry wine for that ass.

[Chick McGee]

It took me a while to get there.

[Willie Griswold]

I got it after.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

What song is that Strawberry Wine by?

[Pat Godwin]

Who the hell does that?

[Chick McGee]

No idea.

[Josh Arnold]

Could you do Elton John? Crocodile Wine?

[Frank Caliendo]

Sure.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah. Crocodile Rock, remember? Or Elderberry Wine?

[Tom Griswold]

Crocodiles Were Young.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I just wanted to give you nothing.

[Frank Caliendo]

Speaking of songs, there's an excuse to play a little bit of this one. I don't know if you're familiar with the Grateful Zed and this tune.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Frank Caliendo]

Jerry Garcia's Pedal Steel Phase. Anybody?

[Tom Griswold]

Never heard this in my life. Anyone?

[Willie Griswold]

No.

[Frank Caliendo]

Bill Walton here. And I enjoyed that. One of my favorites of all time.

[Josh Arnold]

And I'm enjoying Jerry up here where I am right now in the heavens.

[Frank Caliendo]

Realizing that everything here. Don't murder. It's a classic. No.

[Pat Godwin]

Apparently. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

We've all heard it in your mind.

[Frank Caliendo]

Once again, Dire Wolf is the name of that.

[Tom Griswold]

Dire wolf.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You would turn on.

[Pat Godwin]

What did it have to do with crocodiles?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, we have Dire Wolf.

[Pat Godwin]

They mentioned.

[Frank Caliendo]

We have dire wolf news.

[Tom Griswold]

He just jumped ahead.

[Pat Godwin]

Sometimes he just plays his face.

[Chick McGee]

Not even Dire Straits. Not even. Something that would have made more sense.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. No. Something people have heard of. Die Effing Wolf.

[Chick McGee]

Studio.

[Pat Godwin]

Grateful Dead Seaside. American Beauty.

[Frank Caliendo]

Bootleg.

[Chick McGee]

A studio recording, no less. No one listens to Grateful Dead studio recordings.

[Frank Caliendo]

Happens to be in a classic album.

[Tom Griswold]

What's album?

[Willie Griswold]

American Beauty.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's either American Beauty or. Yeah, I think it's American Beauty. It might be Working Man's dead. I forget.

[Tom Griswold]

Scientists have resurrected the extinct dire wolf. Sort of. According to the New York Times, in 2021, a team of scientists retrieved DNA from the fossil fossils of dire wolves, which are extinct about 13,000 years ago. Like that Grateful Dead song. And according to paleontology.

[Josh Arnold]

Crushing it.

[Tom Griswold]

According to paleontologist Julie Meechan, dire wolves dominated what is now southern Canada and the United States. They out competed gray wolves being 25% bigger and possessing massive teeth and jaw jaws with which they hunted horses, bison, and possibly mammoths.

[Frank Caliendo]

So is anyone seeing the problem with this?

[Pat Godwin]

What do they want with these?

[Chick McGee]

And didn't reintroducing gray wolves, like Save5Ecosystems in national parks.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's true, but this company called colossal biosciences edited 20 genes of gray wolves to have key features of dire wolves. And now with that additional DNA, they could create embryos and implant them in mothers.

[Frank Caliendo]

And this is the same group that did the mice, I think.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, the woolly mammoth mice.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, they're mad. Their goal. It's some billionaire from Texas.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't they want to recreate the woolly mammoth?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, thankfully we have somebody here who. Dr. Ian Malcolm, who was on Jurassic Park.

[Josh Arnold]

Ah, yes. What are we doing? Where life finds a way. It does. And if you take what, a mouse and a woolly mammoth in you, what do you try to do? You try to combine them.

[J]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

It's a bad idea. A woolly. Didn't even get that.

[Frank Caliendo]

A willy. Willie.

[Josh Arnold]

Happy birthday. Happy birthday.

[Frank Caliendo]

Thank you. Jeff Goldman.

[Josh Arnold]

You live in a zoo. You look like a woolly mammouse. That's a combination of both, isn't it, Doctor? It's a giant mouse.

[Pat Godwin]

Look out. No. We used to consider. You're an expert, Doctor. But yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Must go faster to the next story.

[Frank Caliendo]

Story.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, actually, we're not done with this one because the discovery of additional DNA. They did create these embryos, they did implant them, and they have three healthy wolves now.

[Frank Caliendo]

Whoa.

[Tom Griswold]

That have some traits of the dire wolves.

[Frank Caliendo]

But. Yeah. This is a terrible idea.

[Pat Godwin]

There's no reason to muck around.

[Frank Caliendo]

The name of this company is Colossal Biosciences. I mean, doesn't this sound like the in Lost? You know, that whatever that company was, it just sounds sort of.

[Josh Arnold]

I think it's a great idea.

[Frank Caliendo]

Terrifying.

[Pat Godwin]

You like bigger wolves?

[Josh Arnold]

I like the biggest wolves.

[J]

They're gonna have some of the most giant wolves, and they're gonna be probably the best wolves. And people are talking about a lot of people saying, don't. Don't make the big wolves. We're gonna make them bigger and stronger and better. And they're gonna be. They're gonna be. They're the best. The best. And people, people, people.

[Josh Arnold]

The purple people lady.

[J]

Remember that guy?

[Frank Caliendo]

Remember that guy?

[Chick McGee]

Do remember that guy?

[J]

Right in the middle of your frame of reference, Tom. And they look good to me.

[Josh Arnold]

But the. The giant dire wolves, they're very big.

[Pat Godwin]

And they're Too big, though, Mr. President.

[J]

They can't get too big.

[Frank Caliendo]

They.

[Josh Arnold]

If they get too big.

[J]

If they get so big, you. You start to think, how big are they? Are they big enough to be. If they're too big for the planet Then the planet is in.

[Pat Godwin]

But, sir, this is where you asked me who I'm with.

[Dusty Slay]

Who are you?

[J]

Wait a second.

[Josh Arnold]

Who are you with?

[Pat Godwin]

I'm with the Bob and Tom Show.

[J]

Next question.

[Josh Arnold]

This is one of my favorite trump things that he does. You sorted out like that. You said that.

[J]

I never said that.

[Josh Arnold]

You said that. Look at we. You're playing the tape and that's not me. What is it?

[J]

AI? That's a.

[Pat Godwin]

Game.

[Frank Caliendo]

Very much talking about Alan Iverson.

[J]

He talks about practice, and he's a big practice guy.

[Chick McGee]

Talking about practice, not the Euro ST practice.

[Frank Caliendo]

So would you have been happier if I'd played Dire Straits?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, we would have understood it.

[Josh Arnold]

Get your money.

[Frank Caliendo]

Maybe that song. Not a lot of airplay, eh? I always like the chorus. Don't murder me. Please don't murder. No one has ever heard that song. Okay?

[Tom Griswold]

So sorry.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'd like some Grateful Dead fan out there to write me a little note here and say, hey, thanks for playing that song for the first time.

[Chick McGee]

He's too busy putting acid in his coffee. It's. He's not gonna write in.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

My friend Doug will be right there. He'll.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Letter.

[J]

I'm sure I'm a huge grateful Daniel.

[Tom Griswold]

Who knew the designer. I wouldn't think Daniel would be a big Grateful Dead fan.

[J]

I think I was just trying to be a part of the crowd.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[J]

You want to be part of it?

[Frank Caliendo]

I did appreciate the. You got what you were able to throw in. Bill Walton. Oh, yes, of course.

[Josh Arnold]

Because the last time I. I shouldn't say that wasn't the last time I talked to Bill, but I did a podcast with Bill, said hello, and 50 minutes later said goodbye.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, he's. He's. Bill was in here twice. And you're right.

[Josh Arnold]

Unbelievable. The way to go about my friend Dave Pash, who was his partner on basically the. The Pac 12 After Dark. Lori, Bill's widow, sent him all the posters that every year after they would. After the season, Bill would send. Would commission art for posters of the two of them. And Bill was always solar and Dave was coal. So there were pictures of just Dave in hell and Bill in the heavens and battling it out like, they're unbelievable. But every year, Bill would have this art commissioned and she sent it over and I'm gonna go tour it and.

[Frank Caliendo]

It'S going to be the greatest.

[Josh Arnold]

The history in the history of the west civilization. There's never been art like this before. Dave, what's your name again?

[Pat Godwin]

Why are you here? Who employs you?

[Josh Arnold]

And why are you Talking when I should be analyzing this game. Throw it down, big man.

[Frank Caliendo]

Here we.

[Josh Arnold]

That's. That's Walton in Heaven.

[Pat Godwin]

Here we are in front of the creator.

[Josh Arnold]

Ready to go? Top five answers are on the board. I was just there with the saguaro cactus, and now I'm here amongst the heavens saying hello to the great Jerry Garcia himself. We're here together finally, once and for all.

[Frank Caliendo]

Thank you very much. I just got a letter.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Tom Direwolf by the Grateful Dead. One of their best songs ever. Thank you for educating your co workers to appreciate this classic tune.

[Pat Godwin]

Whatever, you filthy hippie. Get a job.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, as.

[Pat Godwin]

As will be the most hard work.

[Chick McGee]

He's probably retired.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, he's worked a whole career, as Willie said. He. That guy. Probably not this guy, but that guy putting LSD in his coffee. Speaking of coffee, what is the official coffee of the Bob and Tom show now?

[Tom Griswold]

Java House.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's right. It's the official coffee and beverage of the Bob and Tom Show. Java House. They've got a new idea that could revolutionize coffee at the office and coffee at home. Got a nice letter from someone who's already got them at their house, and they got that 25% discount by using the code bobandtom. I'm talking about Java House. We talk about. Josh. Peel and eat. No, peel and pour.

[Tom Griswold]

That's right.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes, we do talk about.

[Frank Caliendo]

You could peel and eat.

[Pat Godwin]

Anybody could.

[Frank Caliendo]

But we're not selling shrimp over here.

[Willie Griswold]

No, we're not.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's coffee. Try to get it right, Josh. This portion of the Bob and Tom show is sponsored by our friends at Java House. The Java House Peel and pour cup. I got one right here.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. What flavor you got today?

[Frank Caliendo]

I have got the Colombian cold brew. Brew. I'm actually not drinking that right now. I am drinking the iced tea.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, very nice.

[Frank Caliendo]

The black tea. Now, here's how this works. You just take. It looks like a cure a cup, but it isn't one. It's ready to rock. You just pour. Take this thing off and pour it and add your water. Hot or cold. It's up to you. They also have energy drinks, Christy. They've also got that stuff that will make you happy after your session at the gym.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Hydration drinks is two words.

[Chick McGee]

He's searching for that stuff that makes you happy after the gym.

[Tom Griswold]

Mango tea.

[Frank Caliendo]

I like to talk to the people, Josh. I don't use fancy words like you like hydration drink.

[Pat Godwin]

I didn't mean to be so high, Flutin.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, sure. You and the stuff you learned at those socialist meetings. You know me so well. I went to Columbia. It's Java House. This is gonna. This is gonna revolutionize the green room at your place. Or the. What do you call it? The regular working. Like the canteen, the coffee shop, the cafeteria.

[Pat Godwin]

The break room.

[Frank Caliendo]

The break room. Thank you very much.

[Pat Godwin]

Why don't you take a break?

[Frank Caliendo]

If I. If I hadn't had so much Java House coffee, I wouldn't be so jittery. I should have had the decaf.

[Chick McGee]

Watching you try to be relatable is like watching a dog play checkers. It just makes no sense.

[Frank Caliendo]

I know. It's impossible.

[Chick McGee]

The green room at your word.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hey, Frank, did I ever tell you for that I can't.

[Josh Arnold]

Your place of employment.

[Frank Caliendo]

I can't think and talk at the same time.

[Tom Griswold]

So radio is the best career for him.

[Josh Arnold]

Great choice. Great choice.

[J]

A lovely choice. Like putting that little man next to the snowman and he had too much body energy and he's melting the snowman.

[Frank Caliendo]

Check out java house.com. be a hero at work and get rid of all that. That filthy Keurig with all those germs. Yikes. I'd rather drink out of a toilet. No, it's javahouse.com. the code is Bob. Check it out, if you please. Coming up. Once again, we forgot to do today in history. Again. We forgot to do it yesterday. Completely.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, no.

[Frank Caliendo]

We'll do two days and we'll torture Frank Caliendo some more. This is the. The Bob and Tom Show.

[Unknown Speaker]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Even though we're not too much to look at. You can also watch the show on our YouTube channel.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom Show. Having a great morning with our favorite guest. Well, come on, Frank G. I don't.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't sense any sincerity there. Sincerity.

[Tom Griswold]

They did pause a long time, didn't he, pa?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, there was some sincerity.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm going to work on my job. I am a little entitled right now. I'm in the big chair today, looking to the ceiling, which is where I am above you.

[Pat Godwin]

I didn't realize I was so blustery.

[Josh Arnold]

No, there's a little bit. You do a little bit when you get into a character. Like there's a character moment that you switch into to say some stuff. It's not. It's. I think so you can. The gears can turn. So you can be meaner than you actually are.

[Pat Godwin]

That's exactly. I like playing the entitled jerk. Yes.

[Frank Caliendo]

I deserve to sit here, right?

[Pat Godwin]

That's right. I very much like that.

[Josh Arnold]

And they have the pen in the hand. I was like, that's right. I am the leader of the show now. Tom Griswold to my side. I remember when he was on the show. It's now, I like Bob and Josh.

[Pat Godwin]

Show unearned confidence. Makes me laugh a lot, you know.

[Josh Arnold]

A lot of handwork.

[Chick McGee]

It wasn't always this way. You used to sit in the farthest possible chair for my dad. As you've moved closer to him, I. I think he's rubbing off.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, as they used to say in the 1940s. Does anybody remember?

[Frank Caliendo]

Lately we've been talking about the fact that Josh has been doing this for nearly a decade. But when it comes to. Really, when it comes to doing Radio Guy, he kind of struggles every time he has to read an announcement. I can tell there's just a little bit of anxiety. No, there's.

[Pat Godwin]

There's not nearly as much as you think there is.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

And watching Frank do me as I'm talking right now is eerie. It's eerie.

[Tom Griswold]

You are very handsy.

[Pat Godwin]

I know. Sometimes chick gets mad.

[Josh Arnold]

What makes you really funny is that your elbows go in and your hands go out. I can't even do it. And when they go out, there's this. It is YMCA happening.

[Frank Caliendo]

Because we work with YMCA jazz hands.

[Josh Arnold]

That. That is a funny motion. I think your. Your ape index, your width, your right. Your wingspan is. You have long arms.

[Pat Godwin]

Way long.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, like I have raptor arms. Like I. These little. I could be a gerbil.

[Frank Caliendo]

Eat.

[Josh Arnold]

That's how I eat a sandal.

[Pat Godwin]

My fingertips almost go to my kneecaps when I'm standing.

[Josh Arnold]

Mine don't even get to my nipples. That's how short my hand.

[Pat Godwin]

Like they.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, then you just cheated. You leaned down. You're like, look at how long my arms.

[Pat Godwin]

I cheated at first, but then I straightened up. If you'll just take one second.

[Frank Caliendo]

Angry Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

God, I love that.

[Frank Caliendo]

I love angry Josh.

[Chick McGee]

Josh, don't get mad, because Frank is just naturally better at talking with his hands than you are. You're not Italian American.

[Frank Caliendo]

So Frank has this.

[Josh Arnold]

What is this that you're doing here? Come on. I do Super Mario. Mario, it's me, Mario.

[Frank Caliendo]

Do you do Jack Black?

[Josh Arnold]

I've gotten into it before. I. And I. I can't get it committed to memory.

[J]

I always go to the Legend of.

[Josh Arnold]

The Kung Fu Panda somewhere in there.

[Frank Caliendo]

This is new movies?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Huge. Over the weekend.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. It was a. It's kind of brought back the movie business.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, it did more like 140 million.

[Tom Griswold]

Minecraft.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's huge. Huge out there.

[Chick McGee]

This is bad for all of us.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you see it?

[Chick McGee]

Just more video game movies. There's gonna be Tetris with Chris Pratt next summer.

[Frank Caliendo]

The one. I don't want to see it. Pong. Ding, ding. Very slow game. You see?

[Josh Arnold]

What does that look? What did you.

[Pat Godwin]

I looked at the clock. I wasn't just looking up. It was.

[Tom Griswold]

I just we.

[Frank Caliendo]

The clock.

[Josh Arnold]

There was a glow around.

[Frank Caliendo]

I just want to know.

[Josh Arnold]

But clock makes sense. I get it now. But when I. When I don't know what's happening. There was. I thought you'd been like something got into you. Like there was a spirit or something.

[Frank Caliendo]

Before we go, we've got to do a little bit of today in history.

[Tom Griswold]

What do we have?

[Frank Caliendo]

Born in 1460. Juan Ponce de Leon.

[Chick McGee]

The old fountain of youth.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. He obviously didn't find it.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, no, you didn't loon. How about Patricia Arquette? Willie? You should share a birthday with her. Born in 1968.

[Chick McGee]

She's great in severance. Man, I love her.

[Pat Godwin]

She was medium.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm sorry?

[Pat Godwin]

The show Medium.

[Chick McGee]

I don't remember that.

[Pat Godwin]

I'll check it out.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, she was good in that as well.

[Frank Caliendo]

1993, Willie Griswold. And on this date in 1974, Hank Aaron broke Babe Ruth's all time home run record.

[Chick McGee]

Get him, Henry.

[Frank Caliendo]

At 83, David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear here. Anyone see that? No.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, yeah, you can. On YouTube you can find out how he did it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Pat Godwin]

He just turned the audience?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, really.

[Josh Arnold]

That's the great thing about magic on tv. They can lie to you.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

There are no camera tricks here.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, really? Why are you doing this on TV though?

[Chick McGee]

You literally just did a cut to.

[Pat Godwin]

What are you talking.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Well, you can find out what Frank Calendo's up to tonight and for the next few days on tour with Willie G. Al J. Jackson. Louisville tonight, Fort Wayne Wednesday, Indy Thursday. And then Cincinnati and Columbus. Coming up Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Then lots more shows. We'll post them soon. And we are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Unknown Speaker]

For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom show contest rules go to bobandtom.com contest rules. Or just scroll down to the bottom of the page and see contest rules. This is the Bob, Bob and Tom Show. NBA veteran Jim Jackson takes you on the court. You get a chance to dig into.

[Frank Caliendo]

My 14 year career in the NBA.

[Pat Godwin]

And also get the input from the people that will be joining. Charles Barkley. I'm excited to be on your podcast, man. It's an honor. Likely entrepreneur, filmmaker, Academy Award winner.

[Frank Caliendo]

Nixon.

[Pat Godwin]

Now you see, I got you. But also how sports, brings life, passion.

[Frank Caliendo]

Music, all of this together.

[Unknown Speaker]

The Jim Jackson show, part of the Rich Eisen Podcast Network. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.