Tom Griswold (0:00)

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Shats don't just take any beer, take a Shatz. And for you teetotalers, try our new high fiber non alcoholic beer. We call it o'stools. O'stools. Sample one today. And don't forget, shats like Shat's dark. And for those with diverticulitis proctitis and polyposis. Doctors direct em to try new shats Red Shat's Beer, a division of Frigamole Industries, Flushing, New York. That is disgusting. That's hilarious. Good morning. Hello. From coast to coast, it's the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom. Bob and Tom. Bomb and Tom. Many portions of the upcoming program have been pre recorded, meaning they've already happened and they're about to happen again. So where was I? Oh. Oh yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, we're glad to have you here. It's the Bob and Tom show. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. I just don't feel right. What's wrong? What's wrong? I don't know. I'm just a little under the weather. I can't decide if I want to get full blown sick or not. I don't know. Know. Tom, help me. What should I do? I think I know this. I, I can, I'm not a doctor. I would, I would recommend a honey infused enema. Oh, those don't make it, don't, don't make it too thick. Honey. That would be. Well, that sounds kind of works on the throat. Sticky buns, right? Oh, that's for the throat. Oh, sorry. Maybe it works. I, I really. The back throat. I didn't go to my symptoms. I've got scratchy throat. I'm dizzy and. Why are you here? I'm dizzy and I'm. Does it hurt when you do this? Lethargic. When I hurt? When I wave like I don't know. Because if that hurts you, you've got, you've got 10, 10, 10 days to go. 10 weeks to go. What do you mean? 9, 8, 7. That's funny. Isn't that funny everybody? That's that old joke we were talking about hosting the tradio show back in the day where people would call into. Apparently there's a lot more of these still out there. This guy did it in 2020. Still doing it. The swap shop people would call up and ask me what the temperature was. Barter box. Oh, the temperature. They wanted the temperature you got. Open phone line. Hey, what's the temperature? I look at my phone and tell him what's my temperature? So he was playing phone roulette. He was just taking calls. Sure. Well, we're doing it tomorrow. Dear Bob and Tom Trader show. I have an exercise bike and elliptical machine I'd like to trade. Here we go. Right now they're in the spot. I want to build my snack bar. They'll trade For a good popcorn maker. Sounds good. Sounds great. And our friend garbage throwing daddy from Cincinnati says, looking for a stackable washer and dryer. I have a dishwasher for trade. She has two good hands and doesn't back sass. There's a show called over the Back Fence, the term back sass, where people call it and sell things. This is. Brian writes. It's pretty funny listening to these people. Some of them sound like the Dickey Brothers show. That'd be fun. What would you call it? Well, we'd get rid of all the stuff that we have out there in that second garage. I told you, I'm not getting rid of any of that. Those are my prized treasures. There's a couple of there that's starting to smell. Just because they died doesn't mean they ain't worth nothing. He's got. If you had 17, how many's out there? 17 dead raccoon. Would you tell them you get. Get rid of that. I'll throw it away. There's been an update. 18. You could call it Dicky's Deals. Amanda writes. They have a show called. It's called the Trading Post, and they play the theme song from Sanford and Son. Oh, naturally. Yeah. Plus, I'll. I. We need to get a number on the percentage of Americans that have refrigerators in their garages because we're getting a lot of. I think you would be a lot of mail. Did we vote in here? Who has one? I have one. Garage refrigerator. Yeah, I have one. Jason has one. Ace has one. Absolutely nothing freezer. My husband doesn't drink beer. We don't have a lot of beer drinkers, so there's really no reason. Do you have one? I don't. I don't. And I. In my new house, I don't. But I think I need to get one. I. I had one at my house last year and what'd you keep in it? Mostly it was a drink fridge. Drink fridge. Yeah. Of course, there was one disaster. Oh, there we go. This. I mean, it was horrible. We had. Kelly was saving her breast milk. Yeah. And that's hot. Thank you. Thank you for that. Said Petco. The refrigerator we were on, we were away for a week and the refrigerator actually blew a fuse. My builder said he'd never in his life seen a fridge blow a circuit. Yeah. Devastated. Yeah. Please, that's awful. I'm begging you, Tom, confess to Kelly that you gave Pat Godwin some of her breast milk. See the look on her face? Pat's just trying to build up permission to be allowed at my house. You have to tell. Oh my God. I had one at my old house. I miss it. Yeah, yeah. Pat's on this weird vegan diet and he asked. I. I gave him two things of frozen breast milk to make smoothies. Pat's barely allowed at my house. Pat, that was so funny. Thank you for that by the way. He's trying to. He's trying to rebuild. I hope she's not in the car. He's trying to rebuild. Permission to come over? Thank you. I have permission in the afternoons when you're at the. Well, let's just move forward here. So a majority of people have the garage refrigerator. It's my understanding that if we look at the big screen, we're going to get a surprise. There we go. Hey everybody. Ed Septic here. Hi, Ed. Yeah, I got me a garage bridge, a garage fridge that's full of beer. Yeah. And I'll trade that for the Hubcaps off an 84 Fiero. But I want. I know what I got. I want all four in pristine condition. Okay. As you know, I'm Ed Septic the plumber that I'll bang your pipes but never your wi fi. I'm not trying to make any money, folks. I just love to lay pipe. Being an entrepreneur that I am, I'm always trying to think of the next best thing. Started thinking what's the biggest issue plumbers face today? Showing too much crack when you're bent over hard at work, that is a problem. Yeah, nobody needs to see that nonsense. So I've come up with a solution. Crack flaps. Crack flaps? That's right. With a Z. Cause I'm from the street. Cracked flaps are swatches of high grade washable cloth that clip easily to the bottom of the back of your shirt. Now when you bend over, the crack flap modestly covers your gluteal cleft. So you ain't giving Ms. Johnson a free show while you're fixing her disposal. Good idea. They work pretty good. There you go. There it is right there. There you go. We can't see your claak. And I didn't expect him to be hurt. Yourself and that red chair, okay? It's like you've got a. A load in the back of a truck that's sticking out too far. You put a red flag on it, right? And they are just for plumbers. Mechanics, landscapers, electricians, waitresses, shelf stalkers, factory workers, butler strippers have all found immediate relief from being from exposed buttocks with crack flaps. Just like Nancy Reagan used to Say, say no to crack and yes to crack flaps. Crack flaps. 3 sizes small, medium and. Holy crap, Buttman. Now you can squat without a second thought thanks to crack flaps. I'm asking for $100,000 for a 2% stake in crack flaps. So, sharks. Who wants to help me bring some modesty back to the job site one hairy, sweaty plumber crack at a time. Now, how much do they cost to make manufacture? They cost 19.95 to make. I'm selling them for 350. And. And what's your gross? I lose. If you do the math, I lose about $16 a crack. Now I. Have you gotten them patented and trademarked? They. I do have a copyright. I don't know how all that works. I did some paperwork off the late night tv. I'm excited though. You guys didn't want to get in on this. I've already sold 232,000 of them to tractor supply. Oh, I got some big stuff. You have a PO in hand? Yes, that. Well, no, no. But Mabel. Mabel working the door said that she was excited about it, so I'm sure that it's. It's a done deal. So have you thought about anything for the front? Like, you know how you see those NFL quarterbacks? They've got that towel in front. Well, I think they already have those, Tom. They're called dickies. You don't have like a ween screen. But I'm going back into the shop. I'm working on them just for you. Gu. I meant Septic the plumber, though. Beg your puffs, but never your wife. A ball shawl. Hey, good morning and welcome to the best of the Bob and Tom show. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Coming up today, Dirty Tom plus kinky scale talk, comedian Chad Daniels, Frank Caliendo and lots more coming up next for you though. All caps plus a hotel dump. It's next here on the Bob and Tom Show. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states. Eggnog, tinsel, falling snow, buttered rum and mistletoe Trimming trees and hanging lights the sound of carolers fill the night Shopping hours long and hard Visa phones and cancels card Unpaid bills and mounting debts Family gather Depression sets, drinking starts Harsh words are said Dysfunction rears its yuletide head Argument turns to shoving Drunken brother punches cousin Tree tips over popping lights Curtains catch, House ignites, no one hears the reindeer cries Wedged in chimney Santa dies Though he kicked and did perspire his chestnuts roasted on an open fire. Merry Christmas. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. We're doing some great stuff today. This one is about all caps, plus a hotel dump. Willy Griswold enjoying a soda pop. Oh, yeah, that is a Cherry Coke Zero, the finest diet soda. Really? That's one of the diet sodas of kings. I would say you're a king. Thank you, king. Is this true that the Zero is just diet, but they call it zero because men won't drink diet drinks? It's. I don't think they taste different. They taste different. They have a different formula. Somebody the other day told me that it's the same thing, only they just changed it because they found out men will not drink diet, and so they changed. Interesting theory. I don't know if that's true or not. You can tell the difference between Diet Coke and Coke Zero, I think. I think. But there's Ace Cosby. I'm Josh Arnold. There's Tom. That makes sense. I could see that. And we have a comedian. Where? Where? Oh, the big guy. Oh, yeah. There's only four comedians. Five. Oh, well, he's not in here. He's had. I think it's time for a song. Yeah, we haven't heard a song in a long time. What are you into in there, Pat? You got. You got your guitar, you got your keyboard. From my new series called Soul Songs that Get Me In Trouble. Oh, I like it. This must be about your girlfriend. Gal named Paula, stuck in a car. Girlfriends. Yeah, this is in that new series. Okay, give me a strum. I want to see if we got you dialed in here. Okay, good. We're talking about phones before. It's got a little modern romance twist on phones here. I miss the days of no mobile phones for those precious times when you want to be alone. If your girlfriend was mad and you, you needed some space, you took a drive without a phone and no one's in your face. I said we'll talk a little later. I gotta take a nap. But she's messaging me now. And she's texting in all caps, all caps, all caps. Gone are the emoji. She's texting in all caps. I can delete the text, but I dare not block. I gotta ride out the storm when her caps are on lock. Could be hours, could be days. With an Irish temper fueled by chardonnay. I'm trying to sleep. Here comes more crap. Oh, you know she's mad. Cause she's texting in all caps, all caps, all caps. I see the bubbles. I'm in trouble. She's texting in all caps, all caps, nothing but caps. She's pissed off. I get it. You're texting in all caps. Bravo. By the way, Pat, you might want to check your phone. I think there's some bubbles popping up. All caps. That is profoundly true. Yeah. That is so nice. Very good. So do you text in all caps when you're mad? Yeah, that's what all caps means. It does. I do it when I'm excited. Yeah, I. Or when I write a word. Think of that. Don't text when you're angry. No, no, no, no, no. You don't want a written transcript. Yeah, whenever I'm angry, I just have a few drinks and call the person, send them an email. Formal anger is better than I go out and chop wood. Yeah. What do you like to chop? Trees. Wait a second. Wait a second. I have a cabinet made out of that. A good segue. Officials in Denmark have been using dynamite to trim tree branches. Really? You know why? Why? Because it's awesome. Reuters reports a tree at a popular deer park in Kloppenborg had been damaged, and its heavy branches were at risk of crashing onto visitors. Rather than remove the branches with a chainsaw, workers drilled holes and placed explosives into the tree before detonating it. Who's the cool guy that's at risk? Mr. Johnson. Instead of getting the chainsaws, let's blow them up. It's ridiculous. Probably Jimmy Walker. Dynamite should only be used for three things. Battle. Yeah. Quarries and fishing. Jess Augaard, a biologist for the Danish Nature Agency, explained that the cut left by the charges looked more natural than one made with a chainsaw and would encourage various species in the park to make use of the tree. That's interesting, Jeff. You may actually. I feel like you would know this. Most stumps and rotten trees and stuff, aren't they really good for the, like, animal life and environment? Yeah. Interesting. What kind of snotty squirrel is looking at a, like, ooh, is that what's cut with a chainsaw? Ew. I'm not moving into that tree. Disgusting. I only moved to dynamod trees. Dynamite. Yeah. Amazed you ever handled dynamite. No. You have? Love to, wouldn't you? I never. I don't. I Don't think I've. I've never seen it in person. Your dad's a pyro guy, isn't he? Yeah, but Willie, he. Yeah, but he's very safe about it. He would, you know, put on the safety goggles and then take a lighter and some pam and do the. That's an. I don't. Is dynamite marked? Does it say dynamite on it? Like a cartoon? Right. Have you ever noticed that thing at the airport where they have the old fashioned bomb thing? Looks like Boris Badenov. Doesn't dynamite get very volatile after a while? Like if you haven't. If you find like a 50 year old case of dynamite, they're like, do not touch that. Well, we all learned in the TV show Lost that dynamite sweats. Yes. Very careful handling it. Can you just go buy dynamite? Like, can I go to a store and just pick up a sweat? I mean, I'm sure if you're some kind of construction site manager or I don't know, I don't know if you have the sign for I don't know. That's out of my sphere. Yeah. Or if you're a villain that's got a girl, you know, tied up on some train track, you can probably get a little bit of dynamite going on. Josh, did you have this? When we were kids, we had these firecrackers, they were called M80s. And people said if you take four of those and you put them together and light them, that's a stick of dynamite. Right? Right. There's always that measurement. Yeah, it was. Four of these equal one stick. I think that's universal. Really? Yeah. Those in the sats. Oh, what's that? How many cups make a quart? How many M80s make a stick of dynamite? And we had the story, it was it this week about the cat. I think it was somewhere in Ohio someone's cat. Yeah. Dug up a grenade or something. Yeah, yeah. And they. So they had to call the whatever, the hazmat, whoever it was, bomb squad to come in because. Little kitty playing with that ring. Yeah. Caps. You know, cats bring back like animals and stuff. Yeah. I brought you a grenade. I pulled the pin. Run. Wow. Now we have more biology news over there. Yes. Scientists have found that tree frog tadpoles adapted in a unique way to prevent contaminating their water supply. According to a new study, the Effinger's tree frog does not defecate during their early developmental stages. They hold it a long time. Other species excrete toxic ammonia in their feces into large water bodies. Where it's diluted and rendered harmless. But the effinger's tree frogs live in limited water spaces. So to avoid contaminating their water, they avoid pooping. They just don't poop. They don't poop. They instead store waste in their intestines, accumulating high concentrations of ammonia within their bodies until they transition to sub adults and can safely defecate outside their spawning site. Can you imagine if you could develop a dog that would do that? I mean, come on, like the poopless dog. Yeah. Be huge once a week. Yeah. The pooper doodle. Go on a vacation with a girl you just started dating. She won't poop. They just never do. They'll go four days without it. It's crazy how they do it. They wait until they're in the ocean. Do you want to weigh in on that, Chris? I think Willie may have a point there. I think that we find a different place to go so you don't know about it. Like the ocean. Not the ocean. Like a hotel lobby bathroom or a restaurant bathroom or. You can't do the ocean. The wrong wave comes in. It can be very embarrassing. Yes. Look at that. Corn laden boat of a turd. I'll pee in the ocean, but I'm not gonna poop in the ocean. Corn laden boat of a turd. That is. That's poetry. It's poetry. This is the only world where you're not. Yeah. You're not working for the White House or doing incredibly. Just filthy poetry. Snapping. That is a fair question. That is. My body shuts down. How far into a relationship does one? I never have and I'm three years in. Wait. Wait. What do you mean? I've. We. If I've been in a hotel room, I go somewhere else. You guys are married. So he's not going to get a divorce because you took a dump in the hotel room. He has his own bathroom. Depends where you do it. If you do it on that mic, Microwave. Yeah. You fill his shoes. We got his and hers sinks for a reason. Okay. I can do whatever I want on this. No, I never want to be. No, we don't share a bathroom. We don't. That's fine. I'm with. I'm the guy. I. I will go down to the convention area of the hotel. Yes, exactly. They usually have the. The bathroom that they should have in a stadium. At those places. There's never anybody in. Mix up some other boyfriend or husband who's. I know she's upstairs. Go for it, pal. I'm not doing it. I'm not where. I can't. Open door. Dump. No, no, no. Open door. Yes, that's right. That New Orleans experience changed you. Now you need the door open. A lot of women out there. Conversely, there's like three and a half billion, I'm pretty sure. So conversely, do you want to, you know, at your. At your home and you, you, you come around the corner and there's one of. One of these ladies having a full release. I insist on it. No, if you go, oh, no, this is a little embarrassing, but it's. Whatever. I'll see you later. See you at dinner. It's fine. People go to the bathroom. Yeah, yeah. People fart. Yeah, that's another one. Do you fart in front of your. Of course. Yeah. And I. I want her to be comfortable enough to do it in front of me. Do you ask her if you can light it? I ask if she'll like. Just yesterday on Kelsey Cook, comedian Chad Daniel's girlfriend posted a thing that they're fairly in a new relationship. And she posted that Chad will not use the restroom in the hotel room without putting music on. Right. And she said whenever he takes a dump, he plays We Are the Champions. Had a little preview through the door coming to. Awesome. That is an interesting choice. Yeah. He plays. Yeah, yeah. Hey, Chad's in there fighting till the end. Okay. He's working. It's a loud song. Wow. I wonder if. Does he play different tunes if there are other issues going on? Or is it that Queen medley where it starts with we will rock you? Well, that's good to know. Well, Pat. Pat, you're a Sync Turner Honor. Absolutely. Yeah. You'll have the water running very, very. Ace turns the sink on just to pee. No, I don't. I do. You did the last time we were in the bathroom. I turned it on to heat it up. Oh, what are you heating up? Oh. Oh, I thought you meant your penis. Yeah. Come on. Just give it the old starting a fire with a stick thing. It takes a while to warm it, to get warm, so I turn it on. I got so stupid when I look back at my life and I'm like, when was my dad. Dad smiling the most? It'll be after making a joke about Ace's penis. Boy, he loved Aces. Yeah. Wow, that is so silly. I remember I was reading this book about Jackie Kennedy, was in part of this book she was famous for that she would turn the water on and didn't want any of her bodily functions to be. Oh, yeah. I think there's something sweet about that. I think there's something nice that somebody wants to. To. And Jackie wasn't. Jackie wasn't paying the water bill. Well, my girl tried to give me that poo pourri spray, and I refused to do that. Why? Because I. Come on, let's do this. Let's. Let's go. No, Willie, no. We're raw dogging life together. Let's do this. You got to cover it. You got to be cover it. I'm sort of with you, Willie, but I am very. The courtesy flush really goes a long way. Yeah, that's right. You cannot sell it enough. Yeah, but it's spraying all that fecal material up on your butt. No, but it's my butt. How many teas are in there? But it's my butt. Yeah. I can't get mad because there's poop on my poop factory. Oh, no. There's poop on my butt. That's not where that goes. No, and I really don't believe that. I do not believe that. When it hits the water and I flush, I'm getting a ton of it. Well, haven't you seen that? Yeah. Have you seen the videos of a plume that emerges? I don't buy it. Yeah, yeah. Well, you can stand up and hover and shut the lid, flush, and then sit back down after. That's crazy. Now you're making. Now you're smearing. Yeah. No, you're not. By the way, to answer your question from earlier, Michael kind enough to write and say it is illegal to manufacture, store, distribute, receive, or transport explosive materials without a federal explosives license. Oh, good. There you go. Project manager. That makes me feel a little safe. Or you could just go buy four M80s at the fire and tape them together. By the way, earlier I talked about a nightmare that I have a recurring dream where I'm going to the bathroom. Yeah. Usually number two in a public place. And people are talking to me like it's sort of normal, but I feel odd. I'm getting emails. People have this dream and they thought they were alone. Thank you for talking about this, and, you know, you're welcome. I am. I'm helping people. You're a hero. Thank you. I just like to see if there's an explanation from someone who understands this sort of thing. Like psychiatrist or this guy says he gets some. He's in the. He's usually sitting on a toilet in the middle of a women's clothing store. Women everywhere. Some of them saying hi. And that is a big component of my dreams. As well. It's usually women I'm talking to, and I'm like, why are they talking to me when I'm doing this? Now, when you wake up, do you have an erection? If I haven't already completed. They already told you about the Nocturne? No, seriously, I'd be very interested in what if there's a. A dream dictionary. I'm sure. Toilet and poop dreams. Let's see. I may have to go. That was a great movie. Poop dreams. That one kid actually can dunk. Yeah, he farted his way to the basket. Yeah, I guess his nil is huge. A poignant documentary. Yeah, I mean, a real psychiatrist analysis rather than some goofy dream book. There's. What do you mean, dream? Oh, you know, it's written by the goofy dream book. Yeah. Last night I was pooping. It could be a symbol for stress relief and the release of inner tension in your life. Okay, I don't know how that goes. How would that be relieving tension? It makes you incredibly self conscious and you're nervous and apparently he's not. He's talking to people. And in his dream, do you enjoy being in the woman's clothing section? If you're, like, walking through a Target, do you pass through that? No, I always feel a little naughty when I do pass through it. Yeah, like I'm gonna get yelled at. It's a crap. Because you've just lifted panties and shove them in your pants. Yeah, like, sir, sir, put your bras back. I just want to see how many I can ball up into my mouth. This is science, not perversion. The answer is nine, by the way. Yeah, well, 13 if they're thongs. You may feel uncomfortable about relieving your inner needs in public. Interesting. Which is why you do this in dream form. Letting things go in dream form in front of people. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Maybe again. Excuse me. Go ahead, Will. You could have a lot of Kohl's cash you forgot about. And you really want to go cash that in? It's reminding you. And you're not in your dreams. Josh, is there specificity as to the which store it is? No, for me, it's not. It's not a store. For this gentleman, it's often a clothing store. For me it is. Women are around, like, at school or somewhere else, but it's. I'm always, like, talking to. Yeah, there's no. When the school you went to, did they have doors on the toilets in most of the bathrooms? There were a couple that didn't like in, in the boys locker rooms for gym class, they did not have doors. So you would see guys, poor bastards who just couldn't hold it anymore. Yeah. Or the coach would just unabash. Were you even capable of using that? No, I never did, ever. But the coach was, you know, these were grown men who had been in Nam. Crap, wherever. Yeah, I pooped in a helmet and then put it on when I heard the rotors. I popped on the helmet. When people ask me if I was in the S, I sure was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He'll Charlie, start shooting that poop helmet goes right. Comedian Jeff Bodart is coming up for you in just a minute. Next here on the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom. When you think about businesses that are selling through the roof, like aloe or skins, sure you think about a great product, a cool brand and brilliant marketing. But an often overlooked secret is actually the businesses behind the business. Making, selling and for shoppers, buying simple. For millions of businesses, that business is Shopify. Nobody does selling better than Shopify. With shop pay that boosts conversions up to 50%, meaning way less carts are going abandoned and way more sales happening. So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell whatever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web in your store, in their feed and everywhere in between. Businesses that sell more sell on Shopify. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout Skins uses. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com Westwood1 all lowercase go to shopify.com Westwood1 to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com Westwood One more the Bob and Tom Show. Now this is Christopher and the Bob and Tom Studios. A while back, comedian Jeff Bodart was on and and created one of the more famous segments when he insisted that the Turducken joke was really a joke. Well, had him on recently again and I think we discussed that. Comedian Jeff Bodart here on the Bob and Tom Show. I know I'm going to get blamed for that, but I didn't say a word. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Let's go down the list. You can't read, you can't stay on subject. You can't handle more than a couple topics at once. I'm disabled. Maybe, maybe radio isn't for you. I need to get one of those parking passes. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Here's Tom. Remember everybody, we're in this together. So go ahead. Tom, our friend comedian Jeff Bodart is here with us. Jeffrey started his career on the show, and I'm so pleased and proud of you for doing so well. You're on the ships, like, 42 weeks a year. Yeah. Doesn't that make it worth it that Tom's proud of you? It does. It feels like. It feels like a crazy uncle. No, I love. It's great. Glad to be here. And we were talking off the air, and your favorite place to go was the east coast, going up through Maine and Canada. I love Maine and every. Oh, that. I recommend an east coast cruise. You go from Boston and Maine. You go to a couple places and probably great in the fall with the colors, honestly. Yeah. Nova Scotia. Right. Get an overpriced lobster. I couldn't stand you explaining what it was like. Colors of duo. Yeah. Will you let him tell us? Pat, have you been to Nova Scotia? Yeah, it's gorgeous. I've heard it's amazing. Have you been? Oh, yeah, Yeah. I flew. I flew out of Halifax. They keep that in Nova Scotia. And I flew out of there, and then on the 16th, I'll be. Or 15th, I'll be flying back to Halifax, Nova Scotia. So beautiful to get on another ship in the middle of their cruise. So cool. Yeah. And that's actually easier than getting on when everybody else gets on, so. Oh, I bet. Yeah. Thousands of people. Have you ever been. You mentioned there was an emergency situation. They had to fly someone off the ship. Yeah. Have you ever been flown onto one? No. No. And I don't. Yeah. Never been flown onto one or flown off of one. I've heard of stories of comics. Oh, yeah. Doing right so terribly, and they just. They helicopter you off. Yeah. Well, that's. Boy, that's bombing. Yeah. Wouldn't you have to do the Nixon wave? You're not gonna have this comedian to cook around anymore. I said the F word. Sparrow made me do it. They're dead set against the curse words, right? Oh, yeah. Well, on the family shows. Yeah. I actually said the holy S word. Oh. And then I swear to God, I almost said o f. I just said s. I am not that smart. So did you get a talking to or did it. No, I just blew past it, you know? And I'm like, I'm not gonna call attention to that. And I heard. I heard a lady in the back go, Oh, I was shocked beyond belief. Yeah. Yeah. She apparently doesn't have Internet yet. Okay. Well, I. I just. I love telling kids to go sit in the lifeboat if I don't like them, you know? What? Why don't you go sit in the lifeboat? That's good. Do they do a drill where you have to get into a lifeboat or anything? No, they show you where. Where they are, and they got to, you know, get your muster station and, you know, scan your card and put a life vest on you. Yeah. Do they have enough lifeboats for everybody? They really do. They fit a few hundred people in each, you know, lifeboat. But I don't know. I don't. I don't know how, but they are. They are very big. I've kind of poked my head kind of near one. I'm like, this is pretty big in here. And then sometimes you got to take a tender from the. Which is kind of sometimes a glorified lifeboat. Right. From the ship to the shore. Yep. Oh, wow. Because the ships can't get into port because it's not deep enough. Do you always get off the boat or sometimes you stay on it? And I usually. I usually get off. I guess sometimes I get off ownership. I. But I get. I get off and then go to port, and sometimes I'll just spend. I just want to walk around. Yeah. And then go back. Because if you go back, everybody's gone. You know, nobody's in your way. There's a lot of me in my head yelling at people to get out of my way. Right. There's a lot of it. I don't say it, but I do have people that, you know, that you see repeatedly. Are you on the same ship a lot? Yeah, I'm on. Well, like, for example, I'm. I was on liberty for the last few weeks, went home for a couple weeks, and then I'm going back to liberty for weeks. You know, a lot of the folks. Yeah, a lot of the crew is the same. And sometimes you go to, like, the. The theater, the backstage people. I see so many. I remember faces, but I can't always remember names. But they know me, and I. I'm like, I know. I know you, you know, but I don't remember your name. You're from the Philippines. I know that. A lot of Filipinos. Yeah, yeah. They're. They are hardworking, and they're very nice people, you know? You know, I don't want to. Now I just sound like a racist. Is it true they all sing journey songs when they do karaoke? Small. They all want to be entertainers. That sounds like a generalization. That is true. Do you share a room? No. No, thank God. I've been in a crew room a couple times and playing part. Playing Poker. Poker. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. I don't know that means. But playing. Yeah. You go in the crew room or the crew bedroom and then they're not. Less frills. Less frills. Okay. The showers are already small, but they're even smaller in a crew room. And it's like I think I tell the people, I think, don't we deserve an extra foot of space in the shower? You know, give me something. I'm at least want to put my elbows out. Let me owe me. I want a chicken dance in there. You know what I'm doing. Does anyone ever talk about sinking? Sometimes people joke about it, but never comics. You do, you don't. You're not allowed to do a sinking. I don't wanna go Titanic. Yeah. What do you think I'm a hacker? Well, no, I just thought. No, there's no. Do they do a. Are all the shows so called clean shows or do they do a blue. No, they do an adult show. They do. Yeah. You can curse during that. Yep, I can do. I can curse and I usually tell the crowd and I name the. The curse words I can say and I get to the one that starts with an F and I go, you know the word, not the actual of. If it's the act of. Then I'm gonna need a volunteer from the crown. Do you curse normally in your shows or are you kind of clean anyway? No, I'm, I'm. I curse more now, I think probably on stage than I have in years past, but I do. We're gonna do a matinee show. So that's clean. Oh, that's for families. And then we're gonna do an evening show and that's gonna be the regular. The regular stuff. And. And Chris Dugdale, he's the magician friend of mine and he is fantastic. He's. He's performed for the queen. Queen and royalty and wow. It's. It's. He's really. Queen of English. Yeah. The Queen of England. Yeah. Yeah, right. He stood right there in the grave. Not a queen. Not the Filipino head waiter. Yeah. Or the queen on the hand basket. The famous. Not the queen of Bartholomew County. A couple quick things I want to remind everybody. Oh, that guy's good. Coming up next hour on the Bob and Tom show, Frank Caliendo plus flight noise. Coming up next though, comedian Brett Terhune. You gotta hear it. It's coming up next on the Bob and Tom show. The holidays are about spending time with your loved ones and creating magical memories that will last a lifetime. So Whether it's family and friends you haven't seen in a while or those who you see all the time share holiday magic this season with an ice cold Coca Cola. Copyright 2024 the Coca Cola Company. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Here's a segment with comedian Brett Terhune, a close circuit to Mike. Mark, if you could bring the coffee pot in here and refill me, please. There's Ace Cosby. Really? Did you forget to get your coffee during the break? I, I didn't get a chance to urinate it yet. I'll have to wait till next break. I'm Chick McGee at the sports desk. Here's Tom Griswold. Thank you very much. Chop, chop, Mark. Joining us in the studio, comedian Brent Terhune is here with us. Hello. Brent has a very healthy, thick red beard. Every time. Every very healthy beard. It's nice. Back to Christy in the interview. See, a lot of people say, why does, why does Tom say the things he does? Why, why? They're, they're just so. It's like. It's not what he says, it's how often he says the same thing. That's the problem. In any event, everybody knows he has a big beard. And I have good news for you. The, apparently the Packer cheese bra is a thing that, that lady was not a one off. Okay. So if you're a Packer fan, a bunch of pictures of ladies wearing them, much like the cheese heads, you can get cheese bras less popular. The cheese dick. Whoa. Well, I'm glad. They're kind of like those foam fingers. You just kind of left it up to us. What you were saying. Sort of a long cheese wheel. More of a jock strap, really. Right. Yeah. You could have said cheese balls. Those are actually. You think that would turn my husband on? He's a Packer fan if I wore a cheese bra. Oh, I thought you were gonna say if you were a cheese. I don't know how much you pegged. I, I think he would laugh. Yeah, he's got a good sense of humor. Check out these Havard. Thank you. Thank you. Good. Now, welcome to the show. Brent. It's always a pleasure to see you. Hello. Good to see you. Everybody, once again, Josh never just talking with here about his mom's dog. Yes. I'm glad she's going to be able to keep her dog, which is good news. Very good news. Yeah, there was, there was. Yeah, I was on my. Was there an issue, a landlord issue? Not A health issued about this whole thing. Yeah. You're saying they can keep the dog? Well, okay. I mean, it was an offair conversation. Of course it was. You. Haven't you learned by now? Nothing. It's fine that it's on the air. Except for that. Except for that. It's boring. Yeah. It's Josh. You were. You were telling me your Social Security number off air. Say that, right? No, you're. But you're a cat guy, right? Cat guy. Yeah, I just got my. My mom's cat. Thanks for bringing that up, Willie. She died, but no, your cat died. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's fine. His mom died. Nothing. Nothing sad. Like his cat. I'm so. I think Josh is the only one with an alive mom in here. Yeah, we're just not allowed to talk about her brother. Just brag. Weren't you living at your mom's house? I. What? Well, she was living with me. It was her house and she paid the bills, but she was living with me. Did she die right there in the. Oh, my God. Yeah. Right in the. Just right in the chalk outline is where she. That's convenient. How wonderful a woman she was. Have to draw now. I don't want to make a fuss. Well, Josh, earlier you were talking about You. You hate Siri on your phone, right? Yeah. Just don't use it. Yeah. Then they were people. Well, Tom, people said you should get the jitterbug. We got that from my mom for a little while. How she like it? No, she hated it. Okay, yeah, but. Well, forever. She had that flip phone. And then she stopped selling drugs, so we got her the iPhone. Said, I just want to get out of the games. It is tough out there. Yeah, but like you, you would just walk into her house because she couldn't hear. That's why we got the new phone. And as soon as you walk in, it was just a barrage of daytime TV at the loudest volume possible. Bad credit. No credit. Your proof. Have you or loved one been injured in an accident? Call me, daytime TV lawyer. I'll get you the money you deserve. Because it's money. And I need it now. 5882-300-Carp Store today. What you need to do is get your butt back into rehab. You need to stop drinking that water at camp Leun from 1972 next Tuesday. Cuz you may be entitled to a settlement. It's my money and I need it now. Case of little mesothelioma. You are not the father. Jerry. Jerry. Vaginal mesh. Do not wash your Vaginal mesh in the water from Camp Leun. You will get the clap on, clap off. That's fantastic. Yes. Oh, a lot of trauma. I have hearing loss from hearing aid commercials. That's how it went. Sorry to hear about your mom. Thank you. Thanks for bringing that up. I see we could have just. We could have just been on down the road, but you had to go back to it. I asked about a cat. I didn't you understand why. Here we are again. You're talk. Josh. You're talking about your mom. Mom's dog. And I got my mom's cat. Very nice. Now we have my. My one cat. Her name was still Marge. And then now we have a homer. We have a home run march. Oh, cool. Cat at our house. So. And like whether you're a cat or dog person, I think we can all agree nothing wakes you up quicker in the morning than. How was that sound on an alarm on our phones by now. I don't know how many up at 4:37. I'm awake. Okay. What's going on? Brett Terhune is our guest. Speaking of the Midwest. Midwesterners are suffering an exceptionally brutal heat wave this week. I ain't buying it. Thanks to a phenomenon known as corn sweat. It's corn. It's been. That's. That's the great James Brown song Corn Sweat. He has a song about it. He sure does. Damn. It's been stepped on twice. Oh, that's cold sweat. Sweat. Okay. Are you buy. Are you buying this? I have never heard. Why. Why would we doubt it? Heat advisories have been issued throughout the Midwest due to a wave of. Wave of high atmospheric pressure bringing in hot humid weather from a southern Gulf states. Which one of those, Tom? Southern golf state. Want to pick some quick? New Orleans. That's not. New Orleans is a city. You illiterate more. I didn't know. You didn't tell me. Golf states like Florida and Georgia where they play golf or. Sure, there that works. You're Alabama. You're Florida. Georgia, Mississippi. The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reports that the heat wave is exasperated by a phenomenon called evapotranspiration or simply corn sweat. Corn sweat. What is it? What's it called? Evapotransportation. It occurs. No, no, it isn't. Dad, I wanted you to play cold sweat, not try to speak like James Brown. But thanks for you madman. Ask me again. No. All right. What is it? What's it called? Tom Tight. Corn sweat. Evapotranspiration occurs when water in the cross. Somebody do the news. Agreed. I Don't understand what? Evapotransportation or whatever the hell. You don't see me making these mistakes on the sports desk. I am Mr. Smooth. So this is a real thing. According to this news story, it occurs when water in the crop crops naturally evaporates into the atmosphere. But this process. Water in the crop. What is your problem? Something happened. I thought you were sick. Go home. I am so mad. You're being such a dick. I've had on with all of you. Between him telling me things that baby knows and I'm sorry. I'll be quiet. It occurs when the water in the crops naturally evaporates, increases the humidity in the areas that produce the highest quantities of our nation's corn. Thus Iowa, which made me think of this. The increase in humidity leads to higher heat indexes causing temperatures. Indices, indices to. And indices everywhere. There we go. Please. I'm now in some more quiet moments with James. Just never forget that there's water in the crops. And the water in the crops. I love how every week on this show there's a video of so and so finally snapped. It has become weekly. We can't say finally. Yeah. It has to be again. Yeah. You can't say a prayer. It's so and so. It may be a discomfort to us, but corn sweat is a sign of healthy crops. Okay, so there you go. Gotcha. Sounds like. Sounds like a hillbilly rap song. Corn sweat. Yeah. Got the corn sweatshilla. Got the corn sweats. You gotta do these. Yeah. Really, It's. There's a tricky balance of me wanting to know what you meant by that joke and not wanting to hear you do the V. You said she done got the course. Sheila. Sheila got this Australian. Sheila's in the shed. You know, I don't want to get too political here, but I was seeing all these political signs on the side of the road, and my favorite I've seen yesterday was just said sweet corn. So I'm finally voting for that person. Sweet corn. Yeah. Didn't even have a date on it. I'm just gonna vote every year. It's the best dollar a dozen this time of year ever. Has anybody ever gone, I don't want to get political here, but vote for Kamala Harris. Thank you, John. All right. Well, I said that's fairly, fairly, fairly political. Even though you. Mine was a reference to non political. No, I know, I know. Since the humor. John, I understand. Do I have to come on here every six months and just school you people? Oh, my God. Somebody. You finally snapped. Finally yeah, Josh, you get meat switch sweats as opposed to corn sweats. I have gotten the meat sweats before. Yeah. Is that a thing? I only really have had them once and it was at one of those Brazilian steakhouses where they come around where you have to have like the thing. It's like the red. It's hard. Yeah. Like, keep feeding me or don't feed me. Right, right. Keep stuffing me full. I can't, I can't. My mouth is so full it's showing green. Just keep feeding. And Brazilian steakhouse means it's no pubic hair, so. That's exactly right. They shave all the meat before. That's nice. Well, that's good to know. Yeah, that's good to know. You see the Brazil. Why'd you say that twice? Oh, gosh. You didn't have to say it twice. Well, go ahead, Tom. What else you got with friends here? I feel like I invited my friend over in the middle of my parents divorce. Right? Yeah. Why are mom and dad fighting all the time? Never did get that coffee, Mark. And there you have a break. We have a segment with some flight noise coming up next and lots more. Stick around. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom. This episode is brought to you by awesome. Amazon Q Business is the new generative AI assistant from aws. Many tasks can make business slow, like wading through mud. Help. Luckily, there's a faster, easier, less messy choice. Amazon Q can securely understand your business data to help you streamline tasks like summarizing quarterly results or doing complex analyses in no time. Q Got this. Learn what Amazon Q Business can do for you@aws.com learn more. Oh, I just got a message from old St. Nick way up in Christmasland. And he says the toys for good girls and boys are being made as planned. There's a truck for little Billy and a dolly for Molly dear. But you ain't getting diddly squat. Because you really screwed up this year. Oh, the winter fields are white with snow and the lights are shining bright. And the wee little heads tucked up in beds. Dream of sugar plums this night you may dream of big red apples and candy canes so near. But, but you ain't getting diddly squat. Cause you're really screwed up this year. When your mother asked you to wash the dishes why you said no, no, no know and you would not pick up your socks. So it's ques dog face hope well you know that science is watching you and he keeps a great big list. But when I tell him the things you do he really will be angry. So when you try to sit upon his he'll knock you on your ear. Cause you ain't getting diddly squat. Cause you're really screwed up this year. No, you ain't get diddly squat. Cause you're really screwed up. Oh, you're really screwed up. Oh, you're really screwed up this year. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. This is Christopher here in the Bob and Tom studios. We've got some more great stuff coming up including Kinky Scale talk and Dirty Tom later on this morning. Right now though, some flight noise, some escorts and lots more. We have a side sports note coming from you. You were talking about the flight noise during. I was asking if. How come you don't hear the jets as much as you. When you'd watch the US Open, it was constant. Jet planes. Yes. This is the kind of interesting. So established in Chick 1993, the Tennis Climb flight path was only used during the US Open to divert airplane noise away from the matches. So it's been in place since 1993. Tom, 1993 was just yesterday. Isn't there something on the microphones to reduce the. But they're not flying over the flushing. They're not flying over the tennis complex anymore. You do this every effing time. Okay. They're not flying over during the two weeks we give you the information. I appreciate it. Thank you. In fact, it actually. And you go ahead and look it up yourself and you announce the same answer. Okay, sorry. So why don't you just go ahead and look it up yourself? There's no filter. No, in the audio, you lunatic. Okay, next. Well, I'm sure there's a filter. Ask skate, wait and see. God, I hope there is a builder he can. Oh, man. I just got this received to me from a audio file friend of mine who said that they're doing interesting things with audio. You getting it mixed up over there? You know, every pore we can hear ice. Sorry. I remember you telling me one morning you can't have I ice. You said this. You can't have ice in your drink when we're on the air because people can hear that. Yeah, that's. But I have a straw. Look at you. But I have a straw. But I can't find my straw. You had him in your pocket this morning. I must have left him somewhere. Nobody. They must have got lost. Well, what else got lost? Nobody likes you. I'm singing. Jay Gyles. Bless you. I said I must. I said I must. I must have Got lost. Hey, the Wolfa Tufa. Oh, man, that's a great intro. Oh, that's the best. No. What else? What's that girl's name? Rapunzel. Let down your hair. Let me climb up the ladder of your love. We don't have to hear that whole thing. Oh, yes. No, we don't. Would you rather hear Jake Isles or a football coach and a prostitute? Is an audio of them doing it? I'm gonna say no. Jay Giles. I'd have to say Jay God as well. Jay Giles as well. Oh, wait a minute. Hey, Reputer. Hey, reputed abuter down your head. Let me climb up to the light of your love. Crazy. I said I must. Well, where the hell is the rest of it? Jason's in there going, I'm doing the best. It's the great Peter Wolf in the. Jay Giles. I have to go over. Tell people that they don't know who Peter woods sings for the J. That's not Peter Woods. Peter Wolf. I'm just trying to stall so we can find the thing, that's all. Well, what's going on in the meantime? Maybe the prostitute. High school football coach in Texas arrested for allegedly reporting a prostitute and a theft, according to Laredo police. Yeah, I bet. Yeah. Coach Rolando Ramos allegedly trying to pay for sexual services when the hooker. I'll say on the air, but it's typed Shooker. It's a typo. A pro would ignore it. Well, that explains me. Shooker ran off with $100. He called police to report the theft. And after the investigation, Mr. Ramos was arrested on suspicion of soliciting. Prost, too. Yeah. At least you got to eat that 100 bucks, man. Yeah. The horse stole my pot. Oh, well, it's legal, but. Wow. Stole my wallet, man. This is. And read reviews before you get your escorts. Oh, can you. Do they have reviews for escorts? Oh, sure. Oh, I have been told that there are. Yes. Just like anything Yelp. Like an Uber driver review. No, I remember I had a. This. Okay, the beginning of this sounds fake. I had a roommate. But it's true. It's true. Who did like to frequent the. And he went to a place called the Erotic Review. Okay, you would. You'd have to sign up. I think he had to pay. And it was just reviews of people who. Of escorts. Oh, okay. Yeah. Wow. So was it a brick and mortar building you'd go into? I wish, man. It was a website. Yeah. Could the lady, for example, have you reviewed and go. Well, I'm not going back with there. Are there There are also websites where they. Yes, for the safety of themselves, review Johns. So you have a five star review. I'm going to accept your offer. Right, okay. Right, right, right. Yeah, just like Uber. That's interesting. So in this case, the football coach allegedly solicited the prostitute and then she. I didn't give the services required. That's what it sounds like. He just took off with the money. Yeah, okay, but you just, you eat that, don't you? I mean, at least the upside is. At least he's not banging one of his students. I mean, that is an upside. Look at the positive. You are correct on that. Can you possibly flower that language? I don't think you need to flower that one up. I think the content is so disgusting. The NFL, Tom, has a problem with this. I do not. The NFL will not be replacing the chain gang with what they call Hawkeye Computer Vision, the system to measure first downs during the upcoming regular season. The league experimented with the technology during the preseason, but it did not work as well as anticipated. Oh, there you go. That's what they're saying. NBC Sports reports it notably delayed the Lions Giants preseason game taking much longer than the traditional chains to measure on a play that was not even close to a first down. You know, they'll figure it out eventually. Eventually. But don't you. I. I would think that you would be on my side about this. The chain gang trots out there, it's like three guys and they take the links and they measure and it's people that's fun. You like all that old fashioned stuff. Yeah, but people are gambling. People have a lot of money on these games. That's not when it's. That shouldn't be a part of any of it. Yeah. I think the integrity of the game is more important than the fact that people are gambling on it. Yeah, but we have technology now. We're in the Olympics. Someone will win an event by 200ths of a second and they can prove it because of, of the quality of the timing devices. They could put something in the football. They'd be able to know exactly where it was. Well, I think. Since when are you on the side of accuracy and justice? When did that start? What the hell's wrong with you? I just. So inconsistent. It's silly. I am becoming my father. I don't know, because that guy Noah Lyles got beat in the hundred by the other guy, but apparently it's your torso. No idea about that. That. Yeah. No, I think it's also about the ball placement. That's hard to. That's. That's got to be a human calling it. Where. Where did he go when I. You're going to let him do that? Yeah. Well, that's nice of you, but I think for something eventually. It's nice to know there so many, so many times one bad call has ruined a season for us. We've all been there. Yes, and that's part of the game. But if it can be fixed, it should be. I've been on a chain gang, by the way. A lot of pressure. Are you talking about my middle school football? Yes. Yes, yes. That's what he's talking about. Yes, yes. He thinks he's. I am a soldier. Right there with you. NFL. No, it's a middle school football game. You know how embarrassing that is when you're in a middle school football game and your dad is six feet away from you? Cuz guess what? I'm not playing. I'm on the sidelines too. And he's just hanging out making jokes, joke jokes with the coaches. So weird. Were you talking to the coaches during the game? Hey there, coach, how about an on side here? Hey there, coach, what about that Statue of Liberty here? Are you serious? Tom? He's your son. Don't you see how that would embarrass me? How about a little more razzle dazzle, fellas? The only thing worse than when he's on the chain game, he would call the games and no one asked him to do it, but he was like, I'm volunteering to call all the home games. I know you're going to be very excited about it coming out. Number 71, Willie Elvis Griswold. Stuff like that. I have an answer. Asked. I have been asked to do one of the games this year, by the way, at the high school. Yeah, it went a little like this. What are we going to do about Griswold? Yeah, well, I don't know. You know, he wants to do the whole season. Well, let's offer him a game. I'll speak to everyone who does that. It's really hard. Of course it is, because you've got to. You've got to get the. I would go down to the visiting team and make sure to get the name because if you get it, you know, then they come up to the window. It's Jablansky, not Jablonski. A pervasive pervert. You pervert. Very hostile. A normal person would feel this way and they would say, maybe public announcing isn't for me. Maybe that. But no, you are like, powering through. Are you gonna do it? Yeah, I look forward to it. Okay, cool. But I was on the chain gang a couple times, and it's a lot of pressure. You want to get it right? Well, sure. Well, no. You just pay the slightest bit of attention, don't you? The referees making the call want to get it right. Everybody wants to get it right to you. Hey, jackass, get up and walk that way. Three yards. It's fun. How did you focus that long? I can't. You know me. Every day I'm looking at my phone during. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, it was. All right. I missed that last. Do you mind if I hold one of my dogs? No wonder the ref. You need to move up. Using the chain to measure the distance between his front tire and his back. Where the hell is he? Out in the parking lot. Long is this. I've always been curious. I just got curious. I was. I was just told. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not allowed to bring any of the dogs to the game Friday night. Are you doing it this Friday night? No, I'm. I'm just going to go observe the game. But I'm not. No wonder they're calling you pervert. I was. I was going to. You can't take a dog to a high school football game. Why not? You can't. Sure. No, not this. Well, depending on where you live, it's not. Unless they're your support dog. A lot of places I've been working on getting that vest for him. Yeah. Poke both your eyes out, get the vest for him. Or get sunglasses for yourself. That might be little cheaper. Yeah, yeah. Or both. In a game. Yeah. Right, right. Why is Tom watching the game with sunglasses in any event? Yeah. So no NFL electronic things. Yeah. And it's a real crime. I just want the games to be accurate. Because, for example, if you're going to be. You know, no one complains about calls more than you do. There. There's no. In your brain thinking, well, this is just the way it goes. And like you said, we've all put up calls. Our favorite teams. It's part of the game. Well, apparently not. Not a part of the game anymore. It shouldn't be part of the game when they make a terrible call. We're going to be allowing you. No fan. You don't know anything about the National Football League. I don't know why that's correct. I go to the games, though. Enjoy them. Nice hot dogs. The. The. We have a special Thing coming up. Speaking of great football, can you imagine being next to him during a football game? Oh, it sucks. I don't know what the problem is. Why are they wearing these shoes? Is he on his phone a lot? Whole time. He'll stand up in the middle of the play to go to the bathroom. I want to get back. The halftime entertainment is going to be great today. They have some jumping dogs, you know. I for one would. Well, he is right about the. Would love to sit next to you during a football game, Tom. Okay, well, that'll be. I can arrange. Middle of a two minute drill. Hey, check this out. Picture of Marty Allen. So weird. That's not an exaggeration. That really happened. The World Gravy Wrestling Championships took place in England this past week. According to the Beeb, the annual event at the Rose and Bowl Pub. Hang on a second. In stacks that. This is the. This is the story I warned you about, Josh. Yeah. Yes, I think saw a wide range of competitors wrestling in a pool of gravy. A series of two minute bouts. 18 year old George Young won the men's title. 43 year old Christine Rogers earned the women's title title after taking part in the contest for the sixth time. Competitors awarded points for the costumes, comedy effect and entertainment. Organizers said over 210 gallons of gravy used for this event. No word on what kind of gravy it was, Josh. Mr. Rogers battled victory while dressed as Barbie. Q, Q, U, E. A costume depicting a grilled version of Barbie. A grilled version of Barbie. Barbie. That's what it says. All right. Sounds a little weird, but the whole event sounds a little odd. And usually when they do anything involving food, they always at the end of it, they say that it was given to local food banks. No, no. Maybe they could donate it to like local perverts. Yes. We'll slurp up that gravy. Barbie was wrestling in this gravy. Tom, do you own a gravy boat? Yeah. I'm sure you do. Yeah. I bet you do. I think so. Hmm. I do. Thanksgiving probably. I do not own a grave. I don't know about the new administration. I mean, back in the day we didn't have anything like that. There was a lot of Pyrex containers. Yeah, my old house was hilarious. Just the stuff that we did and didn't have. I can believe that it was a boys club. No. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Was it snl, I think that had the gravy boat that was shaped like the Exxon Valdez. Yes. And it Poured out of a hole in the. Like, the hul. The one thing I've been meaning to get for every. We talked about this with Christy and I. My mom had this thing for making turkey. Turkey. Like a roasting pan. The only thing it was good for was turkey. I have one of those. It was black speckled. I don't know what special. Josh has one of those, and I bought Tom one. Yeah. Because we were talking about how much we loved those. Yeah. The classic. I have a big one and I have a little one, too, for a chicken. Every. Every grandma's. All grandmas had that. Yep. They had the corningware glass casserole dish, white with the little blue fl. Yes, yes, yes. And a cast iron skillet. A big one. A nice gravy boat. Yeah. I have a gravy. Yeah. For Thanksgiving, you have to have a gravy boat. Somebody has to have named their boat the gravy boat, Right? Probably a gravy. Yeah. I named my cat Gravy, as you guys know. Yep. Yeah. Little gravy girl. Yeah, we know. Hi, gravers. What are you doing today? That's your cat voice. It is. The gravy championship belt, by the way, is elastic. I would think so. Yeah, sure. I need an all to make more notches. They only have a heavyweight championship. This one's far smaller than that. Sports, do they sell alls at Casual Mail? Oh, I don't. Right next to the belts is the. Is the style store for Big and Tall still out there? I think Big Install. Big and Tall is still out there. Yeah, yeah. There's also a big install. It takes forever to check out. My goodness. Yes. Casual Mail. The first time I heard somebody call it Casual Whale, I laughed for 20 minutes. And I. I would shop there. There's no Destination xl. I had to buy a belt. Oh, yes. And it's very hard for me to buy a belt at the regular store. I go to Casual Destination xl. I'm the skinniest guy in town. You're exactly right. I went to Destination and I went, oh, I don't know. There's no clothing store store for me. That's too big in between. Yes. Yeah. Do you have a place you go? Maybe it's Destination that makes you feel really young. Young, sure. Yeah. You can go to certain cafeterias. Yes. Yeah. Urologist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why is the rock star of that place? Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I have a. I have a place I have to go to get this thing. What do you call it? An infusion. An Infusion. Thank you very much. I, I go there, I feel like I'm, you know, 20 again. Do you talk to the folks? Occasionally. I'd loved I. The stories you would hear. Yeah. Hey, how did, who was your first boyfriend? Just talking to an old, talking to an old lady is the greatest thing. You can just, you hear so many awesome stuff. Me and J. Edgar Hoover did hand stuff and that was from a guy. But you know, know you don't find out it was J. Edgar Hoover until like days later because she kept calling him Jay. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. Or Eddie or whatever. But sometimes I'll be sitting there thinking, is that person alive? Oh my gosh. They're just sleeping through their infusion. Yeah. Okay, Josh. I had a story. My grandma was telling me a story. And then in the story, Neil Armstrong's wife comes to talk to her in the story. Because they were just at Purdue at the same time. And I was like, man, sometimes you do say interesting stuff, you just don't shut up. But eventually you just don't shut up. If we could trim the facts. Gotta hear about your damn bridge. You gotta stick around. Coming up next, comedian impressionist Frank Caliendo. He is next here on the Bob and Tom Show. This episode is brought to you by Life LifeLock. The holidays mean more travel, more shopping, more time online and more personal info in places that could expose you to identity theft. That's why LifeLock monitors millions of data points every second. If your identity is stolen, their US based restoration specialist will fix it, guaranteed or your money back. Get more holiday fun and less holiday worry with LifeLock, save up to 40% your first year. Visit LifeLock.com podcast podcast terms apply. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios. Glad you're with us this morning. Here's a segment with comedian impressionist Frank Caliendo. Can you give me a time machine sound effect? So I'll go. It's. It's time now for the Bob and Tom time machine as we stop time. That really doesn't work. No, we stop time and that's not too bad. We'll go back to. Oh, wait a minute. How about this? 1.21 gigawatts. That's good, except I'm trying to introduce you friend. How about this? Okay, I had one more. How about this? Are you ready for some football? Yeah, I'm ready to go. Man. There he is. That's the best look. Look at the commandersons, man. He's got. It's like Vikings, the way they put sun at the end. That's right. But it's Commander Sons, man Skull. Yeah, I, I, I know this is radio, and if you, if you happen to be watching the video feed when Frank does the W, the George W. Bush, I don't know how you do it. It's like you move your eyes and your face. It's so accurate. Just. It's about being. It's about becoming. What's interesting is Willie was talking about this during the break a little while ago. Is like, that's one of the impressions that I don't even have to talk during the show. I'll do a call back to Bush and it gets maybe the biggest laugh of the whole night. Just going, whatever. And it just crushes. It's so amazing. I'm sorry. Could I have the time machine sound effect now? Ready? Josh has it. Josh, ladies and gentlemen. No, no, no. When I go like this. With me sticks. Yes, sir. Did he say with me sticks? With me sticks. Wait a minute. You mean Irish drummer to go back in time. No, this sounds like graduation music. This will work. It's a new. It's back in time. No, no, it's too dramatic. Ladies and gentlemen, we now go back in time, the new feature of the Bob and Tom time machine. And now we go back to Frank Caliendo's first national television appearance. Frank. Oh, sorry. He fought it on the air. Frank. Frank, do you remember your first national television appearance? Yes, I think it was the first thing that popped up that day. I think I did a Comedy Central Presents, but I think the first one I did was the Craig Kilborn Show. Remember Craig Kilborn? Oh, yeah. This guy is from the Midwest. And this impression's unnecessary. I was always a Kilbourne fan. Didn't he just. His career just disappear? He had some issues. Yeah, well, he wanted to go do. He wanted to do movies and stuff. He did old school, but that didn't really pan out. But the ego, which was great, was. I don't know if it was real or. I think it was amplified a little. Yeah. Is that. Oh, yeah, you gotta love me. Yeah. He started on espn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you know him before that show? No, I did not. Okay. No, I would watch him. I remember being in college watching it. And the Daily. He started the Daily Show. A lot of people don't know that. Yes. Remember, he was, he was the lead. He was the anchor for the Daily Show. Yeah, I think it was. He still out there? He's on Instagram. He's actually very, very funny on there. Okay. I don't know how he makes money, but made a lot. Made a lot back in the day. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Cbs Cash. The reason I asked is, do you remember the first. Do you remember the first impression you did on that show? Oh, probably not. Maybe it was. Might have been John Madden. I think I threw that out a lot early. That was. It was. It was probably the Madden. Madden or Robin Williams. Robin Williams might have been way well, Madden. You. And you invented the impression of Matt. You. No one had done it before you, I think. I think there probably had been some people that did it, but nobody did it, like, nationally. And it was like one of those situations where nobody was doing sports impressions at the time and there wasn't the Internet, not in the way there is now. I mean, I always tell people we were at Mad TV. This is late 90s, early 2000. So. Right. Yeah. Around 2000, if you wanted to get research material, you had to go to a. There was a young man named Dylan who worked in the research department, but it was just him. And he would have to send out for a VHS tape or something like that or record that night. There was no way to get material if you weren't watching it. DVRs weren't even really around at that point. And even if they were, you weren't. Now you can just go on YouTube and pull somebody up and just watch and try. And I mean, I watch some of the young people that. I think there's quite a few really good impressionists out there. But the. The ability to just find stuff on the Internet now and then work on it way, way, way more accessible, which is great for them. Who are the other early Frank Caliendo victims? Dodi Danza. I don't. I remember when I first went up, Johnny did Samantha Motor. And whenever. Whenever there was somebody from the old neighborhood, Tony Danza became super attached Italian. So it was like, Johnny, did you meet the mono. Mrs. Rosie? He would become super Italian. Right? It was like, super Mario, it's me, Mario. Yeah, he. That was that. Because everybody was doing like the. The. The Reverend Jim Boss, I guess. So I was like, I'm gonna do Tony Dance and also Latke Gravitz. Thank you very much. I want to do the impression for you. So I was doing like the whole cast of Tattoo Taxi be like, this is amazing. Like, oh, I just added two impressions of what everybody else was doing. So there was. There was that. There was a Robin Williams, I remember, like, oh, my God. Who Knew. And then the old school Jack Nicholson, of course went. We just throw it in there and see what happens. It's. It's the best. Jack. It just gives me so much joy to watch you do this stuff. I. It's so great. The old ones are fine too, because actors, actors were bigger. Actors acted for the screen much bigger back in the day. I mean, if you watch old school Jimmy Stewart and all the rich little impressions, those are big, over the top characters. But the actors were over the top and now it's a lot brought down until the actor gets older and then they become caricatures of themselves. Like you see Robert De Niro's I am being myself right now. That's all I am I right. Even you watch Pacino and he's big. You're supposed to be whispering here. I am. There's also, there's so little commonality in our culture today. It's perfectly possible that you, you get on stage and you're doing something. And if the newer stuff and no one knows who the hell you're doing. And there are two audiences. I have an Internet audience and I have an audience that knows for me from all the sports stuff. And that's the, the difference is. And we were talking about this a little bit off between. During the commercial break. So it was. It used to be that you had to play very broadly and get. Do impressions that everybody knew. Now with the Internet, you can do very specific impressions and people will pass them around. So I did like A Better Call Saul. Did you know that you have rights? The Constitution says you do. And so do I. Hi, I'm Saul Goodman. Only works for like people that know that show and then they'll pass it around. But it gets completely lost in a, in a show where people are just coming to see the John Madden. So it's. I'll do little bits here and there, but it's definitely a different. I always tell the same story. When I saw you in Vegas, about a third of the crowd was clearly from Japan. Yeah. And you know, you're doing all this great. And I remember the, the two that got the biggest responses were. Or Arnold Schwarzenegger and Robin Williams. Yeah. But I remember when you did your Jim Rome the ridiculous. I always loved your Jim Rome. But if. Unless you were at the time a sports talk listener, he had no idea who you. Who he was. Right now, a group of people from overseas not getting any of this. Does Jim Rome have a sense of humor? Did you have. No, not at all. So have you? Zero. Less Than have you done that for him? No, I was Shame eyes won't even lie. I met him once and he was nice to me. But I. I'm sure he could be fine. I just. I think he saw me. I know people that have subbed for him on his show and they'd had me on and they've never been asked back. I actually had lunch with one of his people and I said, have you ever heard Frank Caliendo? I said, I can get you a recording of Frank. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Please don't get me fired. Him as far away from this as possible. I think it's hilarious. They could say it's. I think it's. He should respect it and enjoy it. People who can't make fun of themselves. You've got to be able to take a joke and don't suck. Soccer. Soccer fans. Just like when I was it at the Vatican on my cell phone doing a Jim Rome impression. Rome cubed just brought it back. Where's the time machine? Because I was Rome in Rome in ro. The Frank Kelly and no time machine. You should work on an impression of Tom. There's quite a few around here. None of them are any good. Another guy with a sense of humor. Oh, we have lots more. The Bob and Tom show coming up. Hitting the balls and kinky scale talk coming up next hour. But coming up next year on the show, comedians Chad Daniels and Kelsey Cook next on the Bob and Tom show. So you're getting hungry, really hungry. Head to Jack in the box and pick up a smash jack. It's a juicy, delicious smashed burger topped with cheese, pickles, grilled onions and boss sauce. And it's now available on sourdough. The smash Jack. Only a jack in the box. Order one on the jack app today. This is the Bob and Tom show. Welcome back. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Let's laugh. Some comedians, Chad Daniels and Kelsey Cook coming up. And here's Tom with our special guests. We have another guest. This time it is a lady. She is Kelsey Cook and Kelsey is a lady and a comedian at the same time. That's impossible. Possible. How could that. You know, I always enjoy the. The shock and amusement of someone meeting Tom. There's like, this guy's not real, is he? No, he's real. She's so good. Listen to this. Her. Her comedy special the hustler. Over 3 million views on YouTube. So there. I know with my tiny brain. Can you believe I somehow did it? A girl. A girl did that Lady. Of course she did. I'm just kidding. No, you're just awkward, that's all. I have a technical question. Well, if you want awkward, yes. Tom, with your vagina, are you able to make thoughts when you're in. I actually use it as a puppet on stage. It's kind of like the late night Jeff Dunham. Does he have to. When you're in baby heat, how is it that. Does Chad do his senior wences impression with your. With your front. With your front. Naughty. Sorry. Okay. Sorry. No, that's not where I was going. Sorry. Now, you and Chad. It was great being here, you guys. Thank you so much. Right. Chad Daniels is here with us, and you guys are. Have moved in together. You're a couple. It's true. Yes, but in our. In our. In our culture, with our language, it's a little awkward. I know. I experienced this myself because technically, he is your. He is my boyfriend. Elder. Yes. He wants you to say partner. No, I was gonna say boyfriend. No, boyfriend. He is. He's my boyfriend. But we did have that conversation when we got together because Chad was like, you know, being in my 40s, I feel like I'm a little old to be called somebody's boyfriend, but if you call me your man friend, that sounds like I'm not allowed in your playground. And I was like, okay, well, what are you gonna call me? And he's like, well, I'll just be like, this is my lady. Well, we're not at a Renaissance fair. No, no. And I was like, I can't use the equivalent of that. I can't be like, mom, dad, I'd like you to meet my Lord. We can't do that. So we have settled on boyfriend girlfriend, even though, you know, I mean, that's all there is. I would love to be called my Lord, I want you to know. Yeah, Yeah, I would love it. That would have been great, wouldn't it? Yeah. Also. Also a little bit of an age difference here. When we walked in, somebody goes, olivia, my daughter's here as well. Right. And I have the joke that I've told on here a bunch of times about the press conference, whatever, and. And he goes, so, are one of you the daughters from the press conference? I'm like, I'm the other daughter that's sleeping with him. So. Wow. But I can see there's a little awkward daughter from the press conference is listening right now and trying not to vomit. She was. She was a young girl then. Yeah, yeah. But that's. It's awkward. My sister is 80 and she still has her boyfriend of 35 years, but there's just isn't a good word in English for it. And you can't say partner anymore. Really? Partner, to me, sounds like a business transaction. Well, some relationships are. Thank you. So when you go. When they go, hey, this is my partner, you go, oh, you guys have kids. The romance is gone. You guys are raising kids together. Partner. It is a lot of. A lot of awkward. A lot of awkward. I don't think boyfriend and girlfriend's awkward. Is it just me? You know what? I'm with you. I've never thought it was awkward either, but. Yeah, but in the late 60s, early 70s, I think Crosby, Stills, and Nash tried to bring back that lady thing in some of their songs. What? Oh, yeah. Like, she's my lady. That kind of thing. Lady. That. And that's. That's. That is. You're right. That's. I thought that was Lionel Richie. Yeah, me too. That's a particular one. But if you listen, there's that whole thing. Guinevere, once again, your memories are everyone's memories. Yeah, but if you read those interviews and he had. Then he introduced his lady and I. Do you like the term old lady? No. Or old man. I don't like that. Oh, who would want that? Oh, yeah, she's my old lady. Well, the weird thing is because you go, she's my old lady. That's your. That is your girlfriend, but old man is your dad. Right? Very confusing. Yeah. Yeah. But you know immediately who you're talking to, though, when they go, yeah, my old lady's still in the car, or whatever. Don't you know who. You know who that guy is? If you go, like the old man in the sea. You're talking about your dad and your partner. Come on. Come on. That's a pretty good one for radio. I snuck it. Snuck it under there. Were you guys fans of each other before you started dating, or did you even. Absolutely not. Oh, you're saying yes. Oh, my God, yes. He's my favorite comedian. Yeah. Okay. This is actually what's fun for me, is compliments make him more uncomfortable than any mean thing I could say to him. He rejects them so fiercely. The other day, I was like, God, he looks so hot. And he goes, do you think you have Stockholm syndrome? I have that, too. Are you. Are you addressing it in therapy? Yeah. As I'm very uncomfortable. If. If we were fighting, she could say something like, you never pick this up and you never do this. And I'd sit there and take it. But if she goes, you look so nice today. She'd win the fight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just shut down. I'm trying to realize too, that I deserve love and, well, you don't have to worry about that around here. Well, here's the weird part where we don't. Yeah. Oh, my God. You and I just wiping out all the therapy. We just talked ourselves out of years of counseling. Kelsey, we were speaking with Chad about. I was not aware that he had once inadvertently helped his father steal a car. And then we found this unusual relationship. Yeah, it could have been a really great future father in law. I'll never know. You might. He could be out there listening. You don't know. You don't know if he's alive or dead. Dad, dare I ask your parentage semi normal. Oh, not normal. But different from Chad's not normal. So my parents met playing in a professional foosball tournament. Wow. And then my dad is also an international yo yo man. Is that right? Yeah. So I came from clowns. Like I had zero chance at a normal life. Do you are fascinated right now by yo Yo? Aren't you just? Oh, yeah, I used to. I saw Tommy Smothers in person as yo yo man. And you have Metamucil biscuits. I can't believe this. A rare misstep for the Smothers brothers. So when you're. When your dad would tell you to walk the dog, he actually meant grab the dun. Do you have any yo yo skills? I mean, barely, but he did try to get me into it. And when I was younger, it was cool, right? Because he would, like, come to my elementary school and do yo yo demonstrations. And then you hit puberty and I'd be in high school and I'd look at him like, don't you come here with those yo yos. I'm out here trying to lose my virginity and you are making me lose all my street cred. Like, you can't show up around here with those now. So how many yo yos does he have? I mean, like a thousand. Really? Truly a thousand. Wow. Wow. He wrote a book. You can get it on Amazon. He wrote a book? Yeah. Like the extensive collection of yo yos is the trick. Is the. Is the trick the string? That's. That, you know, that's got to be mostly. Actually, my. My dad has the sex appeal of a fanny pack. It's really bad. Oh, boy. Okay. But he's a lovely man. He just. Hey, Pat. God. Are you. You ready? You ready to laugh a little bit? Yes, sir. Did You. You have a Yo yo dad. You also have a yo yo Mom. I told you Pat Gowen was ready to laugh. I was even ready. Yeah. Where's the dump button? Cello humor. What's the book called? Oh, God. What's his name? Chris Cook. So if you look on. If you just search for Chris Crook. Yo yo something will come up. Yeah. Does he professionally do this? He doesn't still do it. He. He's a trumpet player in the Spokane Symphony. That's his like main. Oh, that's serious. That is serious. Well, if he could play trumpet and yo yo at the same time. That's a Vegas. That's trumpet poet. Yo Yo Mer is what. He's master foosball pro. That's what it says. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So. Wow. I think the fact that I was attracted to Chad was not that surprising. Cuz Chad, you know, we're also kind of a version of clowns. He kind of looks like Paul Schaefer, your dad a little bit in this picture. Yeah, he's a. And he's a professor at Gonzaga. There you go. Wow. I. I really want to meet. This guy's got everything. I love horns. You know, my big horn section guy. They'll tell you. I'm huge with horn. I'm big horn fan. I love yo yos. I actually went to see Tommy Smothers do Yo yo man once. He's like. And he's like the God of the yo yo. Truly. Yeah. Let's just. Let's get you on facetime with my dad after this. Love it. Oh Lord. Now also her soon to. No, wait a minute. Her. Her current. Her current boyfriend. I'm sorry. You shouldn't be on the radio, Chad Daniels. Maybe radio isn't for you. I've always said that. Because I can't think and talk at the same time. Sure can. Debilitating. Your social skills are a little awkward at best. Meeting people's not. Your girlfriend just said. Did she really? Yeah. After all these years, she's finally say just. Yeah. She. I don't find any of this surprising. She says I'm really bad with all of her friends. No. And then she's not bad with my friends cuz I only have two friends and one of them lives out of town, so it's kind of rough being me. Pat, you weren't included in that. I know. It's down to two now and I'm not in the. No, you're not in there. Not in there. Well, you know what happened? It's the lamp. I know. We all know the lamp story was the last time Kelly spoke to you, Pat, My son broke a lamp. Never. She hasn't spoken. Okay. Now, are you. Do you gamble a lot on sports? I gamble some on sport. What's a lot? Chad gambles a lot. Let me answer. A lot on sports. Now, do you let your heart get in the way of your head? Not often. There are times I will make a silly bet just to cheer louder for that team. But most of the time it is based on stats and what I do. You do the over and under on the season wins and stuff like that? I don't do that. I. I mostly do parlays. I'm a big fan of making the last game really worth it. Right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. Okay, good. Are you disturbed by his gambling addiction? Yeah, it's. It's something he did. He did keep it from me until I moved my entire life across the country to live with him. It's not like it's a gambling problem. Plus, we don't share money. For now, we don't share living on the streets. Coming up next on the Bob and Tom Show. Some kinky scale talk. Sounds like a 10 to me. So come on back. This is the Bob and Time Show. Deck your home with blinds.com DIY or let us install free design consultation plus free samples and free shipping. Head to blinds.com now for up to 40% off select styles plus a free professional measure. Rules and restrictions may apply. Josh here. You know, this holiday season, I wanted to write a song about someone I admire, respect and love. I couldn't think of anyone, so instead I wrote a song about Tom Griswold. Or as I like to call him, Mr. Grizz. You're a mean one, Mr. Grizz. You really are a jerk. You're insulting and demeaning. You're a prickish piece of work, Mr. Grizz. You're a frozen hearted ass bag and you drive us bizarre. You're a nutcase, Mr. Grizz. You truly are insane. You're a certifiable psycho with a highly abnormal brain, Mr. Griz. Your mental illness is something even the finest psychologist cannot explain. You're so boring, Mr. Grizz. Those stories you repeat. Your references are dated and your knowledge obsolete. Mr. Griz. Listening to you makes us all want to lie down in the middle of a busy street. You're repulsive, Mr. Grizzly. You have no allure. You're as sexy as a scrotum covered in syphilitic sores. Mr. Grizz, you've got all the sex appeal of a steaming pile of manure. Aw, you're a child, Mr. Grizz. Your jokes are true. Juvenile anuses and feces are the things that make you smile, Mr. Gr. You talk more about poop than a compulsive coprophob. Oh, God. Tom, I, I, I had no idea you were here. Josh, you understand I'm the boss here. And yes, yes, I write all the checks. Oh. Oh, good point. Well, how about this? You're a genius, Mr. Grizz. That's better. You truly are the best. Very good. Everyone who knows you should consider themselves Blessed, Mr. Griz. Waltzer. I like that. You're an extremely intelligent, wonderfully funny, supreme human being. Being. And that, that giant penis of yours, well, we're quite impressed. Why, thank you. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Glad you joined us this morning. How about some kinky scale talk? Let's see. Jess Hooker, Christy Lee, Pat Godwin, Josh Arnold, Ace Cosby. You're name will be mud. My mom used to say a lot. You keep that up, your name will be mud. My name is Mud. What is that reference? I I don't know. I've heard it. The doctor. Mud was his doctor. Oh, that's right. Remember that show we watched, Tom? Yes, that's right. Tom and I watched a show together for one, a very rare occasion. Together. Together? Yes, together. We got together, ate popcorn, and, and played footsy with each other. Very exciting. No, no, no. More Orange Crush. Orange Crush. I had a fresco. What was it called again? Manhunt. Manhunt. Man. Hunt. Hunt. I said manhunt. It was a good show. Yeah, yeah. Except for. Go ahead. What was the problem? Remember the one scene where he goes, no, Booth did not have a VW bug? I remember that. That is, yeah, they took some liberties. No, Pat Oswald walks in and he's by. He's a very fine comedian. He walks in and his line will was, we've got the intel on the so and so. Oh, I still think that was a word in 1865, give or take a year. I don't think intel. There were a couple of other, it may have been, who knows, issues, you know, some anachronisms. Yeah, we're finding, we're following. We're filing his cell phone app. Yeah, never mind. It was a good show. Jumping Jehosh. I mean, and let's not forget the fact that Lincoln shot himself. A lot of people don't like to Talk about that. That's true. I mean, it was a boring. Well, there are two that and also that Mary Todd. She drug him there, didn't she? Okay, that's nice. I don't want to go. I have a. Is sports over? Mercifully. How am I not supposed to take that personally? Yeah, sports is over. Okay. Scientists have developed a new scale that can determine how kinky you are. Oh. Given the diverse ways people experience kink. Well, let's see. A team of researchers led by Liam Wingnall of the University of Brighton. I'm Liam Wingnutt. I changed my name, used to be Wing Nut. Developed the Kink Orientation Scale to capture the full spectrum of kink engagement. Kink encompasses a wide range of sexual practices that fall outside of what many consider normative sexual activities, including the infliction or reception pain, the use of specialized gear to enhance sensory experiences. Creating the scale involved compiling a concise collection of 18 questions that capture a broad range of kink related experiences, providing other researchers with a more nuanced and inclusive way to study the aspect. This particular aspect of human sexuality. We got to get our hands on. Yeah, we got to get our hands. I was just going to say what you're going to say. Go ahead. Oh, we need to do the scale. We need to do the questions. I don't. I mean, I'm guessing I'd probably score a zero, Josh. Probably a 10. Well, pain, I don't know. I'm out. No pain. I don't mind giving a little pain. All right, well, if they misbehave, I think. No, if she says, hey, why don't you smack my ass? Yeah, right. I'm gonna regret saying that. Well, no, but I mean, that's along those lines. Right? I'm trying to find something. I am trying to find do. Oh, here we go. I got some of them. Okay. Okay. I will give you honest answers. All right. Okay. I would. The first one's is pretty open and generic. I would describe myself as kinky. And then you answer, strongly disagree. I'm not going to agree. I'm not going to do your research for you. Right, right. Well, because you answered that, that you were kinky, I guess you're kinky. That should be the. The last. That should be what they tell you, right? Yes. One pain can be fun in a sexual context. I agree. You strongly agree? Somewhat disagree. Neither agree nor disagree. Somewhat agree. Can I just say a polite no, thank you? Okay. I. I somewhat agree. That's. That question was by someone who hasn't had their Ass kicked. Okay. Well, am I glad you said kicked again. I'm. I don't necessarily like receiving it, but I will. I'll hurt you. Sex toys. Sex toys are important to me. Important again. Excuse me. Can I give you a little tip? I'm a middle, too. The next time you do that. Yeah. Say I'm reading from. I'm reading from. Because all of a sudden, if anyone just tuned in so far, we've got just saying, smack my. Smack my ass are important to me. These two are going to. Jason, mark this down. You're gonna need to edit this for tomorrow. I think sex toys are important in sex. Let's phrase it that way. Are they important? Middle. I'm. I'm. Yeah. Okay. I feel comfortable visiting a sex shop offline and online. I'm fine with it. Yeah. No, no, not no way. Oh, yeah. I don't. Not, not no way. He doesn't even like the question. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna walk into, you know, Anal vice for their great name. Annual Christmas kinky sale. I think you'd be more nervous that someone would see your car or see. Right. Yeah. Yeah. This is. And I've said this a million times, where we live is the largest small town in the history of the world. Yeah. Especially because everybody knows us, Tom. Okay. We're stars. I often talk about. I can't tell my story on the air of what I told you guys about. Well, then the magic show. Now you have to. I often talk about my sexual interests with my sexual partner. Oh, 100%. Tom never does that to you. What? You got to let her know what you like and what you dislike. That's right. I think it's quite clear. You don't keep a list and check. I think it's quite clear. Yes. There can be evidence. Now, Christy, do you have the same list I have? I have outfits I wear when having sex. No, I don't care for outfits. I have the. I have the questionnaire from the story you gave me. Neck, neck, neck. No, wait a second. It's in a different order. I have it, too now. Okay. Josh, you seem to be the one that's. I knew this would be the case. Scoring pretty high in the kink scale. Do you indeed have outfits you wear? And may I modify the question by make it a two parter? Yeah. Do the. In the history of the partners that you may or may not have had. Right. Have you ever had them dress up in outfits? Okay, I do not have outfits, and I have no real interest in I mean, if she came to me and said, hey, I would love it, like, hold a trident if you. Yes. With an erection. Dressed up Renaissance festival thing, you know, I wouldn't be opposed to it. But you don't have the underpants with the elephant on the front. No, no, I have had. I have had partners that have dressed in one. Yes. Can we discuss the costume, or is it too personal? It's not too personal. Can we. Can we guess? Microphones? Is it time sensitive, if you will. Is the costume. Is there an age. Is there an age issue involved in the costume? Stop. Is it indicative? Kind of. And that's why. Why it's. She still had her cheerleader outfit from high school. Okay. Yes. Kind of normal. That's pretty hot. She still had. Leaning out. Yeah, yeah, that would be the better way. No, it was from high school, but she was well above college age. Yeah. Okay. Now, there is a costume that I would like to be incorporated at some point. What's that for you or for her. For her to wear Catwoman. Yeah, I would really enjoy. It's a good one. Halle Berry. Catwoman. Sure. Michelle Pfeiffer. Oh, okay. They're all the same. Eartha Kit. Anne Hathaway. Yeah, yeah. Any. Any Catwoman. A rare. Was that like, plastic? What was that? My God. So polyurethane. Catwoman. We were talking about this scientific scale that has been developed by Dr. Liam Wiggin. Null. Please call me Wiggy. And it is. It is the. The. This is. I'm reading this verbatim. He developed the Kink Orientation Scale to capture the full spectrum of kink engagement. All right. They go on to define kinkiness as something that falls outside what many consider normative sexual activities. And I don't. I don't agree with the survey. Really. I don't think what's. Like, a lot of this stuff is done by asking people what they do. I do. So the. The point here is we were talking with Josh, and Josh, of course, seems to score higher on the kinky scale than the rest of us, and we have actually found. Honest. Yeah, he's just honest about it. No, no, I'm being perfectly honest when I'm telling you that. Oh, we're not questioning you at all. Yes, you and I are both giving honest answers, and I certainly score higher than you do. And the last one you discussed was you were very open about an encounter you had with one of these ladies that you've. It was a girlfriend. Yeah. Yes. And she dressed up. Yeah, she had her. The question was, do you like it when they dress up. That was fun. Yeah. And she dressed up as a cheerleader. She had her old cheerleader outfit. Do you have any fantasies, like, woman and, say, a pizza delivery costume? Oh, my God. You know, for a second there, I thought we were talking as friends. Yeah, I did. He'll do that. He likes to lull you into it. Oh, yeah, he'll do it. Hey, buddy. You know, I was thinking. I couldn't. Well, Tom, if you. Is there any outfit out there at all? Oh, I got this. I got. I can answer this. Character costume that you think would be. I don't think we can say character. No. Okay. There might be. It's bib overalls, no shirt underneath. Oh, yeah, that's always. I like that. Always a winner. But I wouldn't. Wouldn't want, you know, Elvira or some, you know. Oh, God, I forgot about that. Would you. Yeah, yeah. That would be. Your pants would become immersive with. Your pants would do what? They become immersive with DNA. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. Do you have the questions over there, Christy? Yeah. It's important to chat with somebody before having sex with them. I would say so. Yeah. You need to know. Paying you to talk. We need to know if she takes a show. Yeah, that is. That's an actual question. What are the. What are the optional answers? Oh, that's the same one. Strongly disagree, Somewhat disagree. How would you. Who would. Neither. Well, no, no, I would argue that the very agree. Some strongly do agree. Very kinky. Would disagree. Yes, exactly. They would want to not have any conversation and just have sex. Yeah. Casual sex is fun. That's a question. Well, of course it is. I don't know. A lot of women need to. Need to lighten up. Is that what you're gonna say? Kinda, yeah. Okay, well, I can't just. I can't have sex with him. He's a friend of mine. Well, that's why you can have sex with him. That's true. It's a lot safer. Yes. You can trust each other. Well, it'll change the friendship. Not for the guy. It'll make it better. Having chemistry with sexual partner is important. Important, yeah, of course. Well, some people might disagree. So this one. That they're. I assume that the opposite of that would be not having chemistry. Not having anything. There's nothing at all that you can stand about this person. Why would that be attractive? Because it's so. I see what you're perverting. I mean, like, hate sex. Yeah. Yeah. That doesn't sound fun to Me? No. Here's one for you. Sounds funny. Yeah. Yes. It goes along with the other one earlier. I feel comfortable purchasing items from a sex shop, offline or in store. I feel comfortable purchasing sex. Doesn't say that. No. Because first of all, if you have to use a credit card, you're going to get on some list. Then you're going to start getting, you know, emails, you know, from Rogers Backdoor Rogering Service or something. Rogers Backdoor Rogering. A little smarter than that. And they don't name themselves. Oh, you get. You're on. You're on a list. Oh, Jesus. Here's one. I like my sex to incorporate a power dynamic. Oh, yeah. That can be very fun. Sure. Yeah. What is that? What does that mean? Yeah, it means you don't do anything until I tell you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Being submissive to someone else, you'd like that time you're either a dom or a sub. Yeah, There you go. What are you, a dom or a subject job? Tom, you think you're. You guys are talking code. Is this Domino's or Subway? Yes. If that weren't so funny, I might be upset. If we had. If we had planned that, I would. The fact that dom and sub came out, that's very funny. I've never heard of that. I don't follow that. Dominant or submissive. I think you do. Well, being dominated in a situation. I think so, too. Absolutely. Absolutely. It can be quite thrilling. I would hardly allow that. I don't know. It's fun, really, to be. To be domed. How about this one, Josh? Yes. And I think this. We can answer this one for you. The question is. You're answering this. My friends describe me as kinky, probably, But I think I. I think most would say straightforward or honest. Yeah, yeah. Adventure. Yeah. Yeah. I don't get why all adults aren't just talking about sex all the time. It's the funnest thing to talk about. So fun. Yeah. It's so fun. How about this one? Do you have niche sexual interest? And that's niche, not niece. Niche. Why. Why do you do that? Why do that? I think what Tom's saying is other people have nieces that I might think are. Okay, sure. Yeah. Yeah. We're all nieces. Yeah. Whoever. Whoever Charlize Theron' uncle is, I could look at him and say, I think your niece is hot. I love my nieces to pieces. Okay. Yes. I do have niche things. Yeah, yeah. Specific spheres, fetishes and stuff. Sure. Your sexual interests can be risky. Is that. That's a question. Oh, not so much. Not like public. Right. Course. Yeah, Right. That would be risky, right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. There's a certain risk to that. You don't like public sex? Oh, gosh, no. Or. Or I think also like, you know, kidnapping. Kidnapping the Rock's girlfriend. That could be very risky. Very risky. I could maybe see, like, in front of a window at a high rise hotel or something like that, but nothing like down at a. Not on a. Like, park or something in front of a. I did it in a gazebo on a golf course once. No kidding. Did people play through? They were playing. They were. I mean, they were. We could see them playing golf. They couldn't see. See you, though. If they did, they saw a woman sitting on my lap. That's what they saw. Here's what needs to happen to you after that revelation. You need to be institutionalized. You think so? You're a sick and twisted, awful person. Now, here's the thing. It was on a lunch break. We. Oh, it was lunch break. We both worked. We both worked at the same place, and we had. We just wanted to quickly. And so we went to the. She wanted to raise. She was way into it. Oh, I would have preferred to be in a bedroom. Okay. Yeah. All right. All right. So. Well, that was very polite of you to give her what she. Was it your girlfriend or a co worker? It was a co worker. Did you do any golf jokes? Like, I'm gonna get. I'm gonna get a hold. I. You know what? There were way less puns than you would think. Nothing about a golf pencil? No. Not even. Not even a quick. Not even a quick. When you were done. Ball washer joke. Oh, there you go. A lot of the classics. No, we didn't do it. Have you ever done that? You don't play golf at all, do you? Or do you? No, not really. The ball washer, where you stand in the ball. I have done that. Oh, it's hilarious. Yeah, it's kind of twisty. Yeah. Push it up and down. Makes a noise. Oh, please don't go away. Coming up next, we're hitting the balls. Yeah. Really? This is the bottom. And Tom, show. The 2025 Ford Explorer ST has a 400 horsepower engine. It's up to you what you do with that power. The 2025 Ford Explorer, it's all in the name. Horsepower and torque ratings based on premium fuel per SAEJ1349 standard. Your results may vary. Christmas is very expensive. So our X1 wives, Xboxes and kids. My alimony's due on December 22nd. Christmas is, of course, on the 25th. I don't get paid till the 1st. I'm broke. What am I going to say? I'll tell my son Santa sent me a letter. Now January 3rd's Christmas Day. January 3rd is Christmas Day with a ho ho, ho and a what the hey. I can get his gifts off. Lay away now. The January 3's Christmas Day Sensanna moved it to January. Hey, I get a great deal on a tree. Legos were half off. Stores laid half of their staff off. Wrapping papers, practically free jobs. Christmas Eve is January 2nd. Now New Year's remains the same. Until your mama remarries, there's no more Tooth Fairy. January 3rd. Haven't you heard? January 3rd words. Christmas Day. Hope he buys it. More of the Bob and Tom show now. Welcome back. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. This segment is called Hitting the Balls Plus Crabs and More. Pat Godwin's here. Hey, Chick. Yeah, There's Jessica Alsman. Hey. Hello. Josh Arnold. Hi, Trickster. Ace Cosby's here. Hey, I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom. Are you. Are you okay? Looks like you're ready to go. I've never seen anyone seated look so lost in my life. I was trying to find something. I. I'll find it later. We were talking about this news story. I forget what it was. I think this lady. I guess somebody threw a burrito at somebody and threw a burrito at her husband. Just reminded me when you were a kid, Alzi, when you were girls. Don't do this. Would you? I suppose when you're a kid and you go to one of your buddies, you go, thank. Think fast. Then you, like, heave something at him. Well, yeah, but not food. But she was a softball player, though, so she may have done. Do the think fast move. Oh, yeah, we throw like maybe a bat or a glove. How about this? When you go, you walk up to your buddies, you go, hey, want some free real estate? Free real estate. And you smack them in the balls and go, here's two acres. What? I've never heard of that before. That's a classic. Of course. Yeah, but see, the. The real estate. Say, Joe, Ace has a situation analogous to real estate with acreage. Acres. Why am I trying to explain it? Other. The other thing was. What's the capital of Thailand? Bangkok. And then you'd get hit. Yeah, see? Very good. See? Did you actually go around hitting each other in the ball? No. Why do you do that? Thankfully, my brothers and my circle of Friends. We all went, no ball. Doesn't it hurt? Yeah. The goal was to move with your hand and then to go, oh, bend over really fast. So. But you don't. Oh, yeah. I don't think I've done that a million times. Yeah. You don't actually want to hit anyone in the testicles. Okay. Tom? No. There were boys in our high school that walk around and bag tag each other. Right. Bag tag was also. They would say the same thing. Yeah. They wouldn't rack you. They just. So some would actually try to. Try to hit you. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, what's wrong with you guys? Bag tag. You never played bag Dag. No. No. You're it. Wham. Especially at an all boys school. I would have thought that was like the number one game. Yeah. Bag tagging. It sounds like something you would do if you were a scientist. You know, like. Like tag sharks. They say we're tagging bags. We're tracking the scrotum of. Okay, here's one from the hobo chick. You'll hate this, so I'll read it. All right. I think you're probably on my side when it comes to this. A survey reveals that Americans are glued to their TV sets catching the Paris Olympic Games. The poll from NBCUniversal shows that one in four Americans say their work productivity. Oh, you love this. Has declined due to the. I saw an article the other day. NBC's bragging about this, about how much money it's costing corporations because everyone's watching the Olympics. They're using that as a sales tool. But I think it's great. I mean, people are getting. Yeah, there's something to be set for morale. You know, the last thing you should do at work is work. Work. Right. Pulling away. This is like the. When the NCAA men's basketball tournament goes on and they're. You're losing productivity. Yeah, well, you know, they're not. People aren't slaves at the bottom of a ship being whipped. They're watching some cool stuff. Get them motivated. Right, Josh? Well, yeah. I mean. And plus, I know, like, you've been typing Olympics into your porn search all week. You've been telling me, well, I want to see if there are some look alikes out there. He wants to see. Don't you? He wants to see it. Are there Olympic porn already, like, taking over, like pole vaulting? You know, we looked it up and there was nothing necessarily. It was just like gymnast and trainer get frisky. And I'm. I'm cleaning it up very, very much. But so she's not even swinging on the bars. She doesn't get to the bars. We didn't see any equipment involved. Yeah, that's just cosplay. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Just dressed like a gymnast then. But it is nice that the people are watching and there's a lot to choose from. Certainly. I'm certainly enjoying it. And I normally don't watch TV during the day. I love it. It's really exciting. Yeah. Yeah. And some big, big stories yesterday, including the hacker. The 1500. Yes. Huge, huge news. That was such a good story. Let's go back to the news desk. It's Christy Lee at the SILAC news desk. What's happening? A crack crab was found inside a vending machine in Sioux City, Iowa. We gotta be careful. They'll pinch you. KTVI mean like crabs? Like a big one or like the kind you get in your pants? TV's our middle name. Report. Several people at the Francis building reported something was snapping at them when they tried to get snacks from the machine. Relax. Francis building. A Pepsi employee, Soso Mesa, was called in. And while people initially believed a mouse was in the machine. Average employee. Yeah. He instead found a crab. By the way, the crab has since died and Mr. Mesa disposed of it. This is the second crab sighting in a week. Somebody's screwing around here, right? Yeah. Days earlier, a Chesapeake blue crab was found in the computer lab at the Sioux City Public Library. Yeah, somebody's okay. Very odd. Shipped to a restaurant live. Shipped. Yes. Yeah, I thought it was. I thought it was me, but be pretty good. They like to ship at the library. There it is. He didn't want to be there. No, he didn't. Chips are. Those are delicious. Those are very good sun chips. Oh, yeah. Very big fan harvest Cheddar. I wonder what that's all about. There's got to be a backstory to this. Probably some so called performance artists. What? They don't have any. None of the employees have a knife. Just to stab that thing in the. In the eye and lift it out of there and talk. Toss it in the trash. Is that a problem? Wouldn't cook him up. You didn't kill our pet crab, did you? Yeah. Yeah, I did. Yeah. It's not a dog. Kill it. You wanted a claw machine, we got one now. Okay. Well, I walk sideways. That's what they're always saying. However, you. You brought this up the other day. The videos where they put little knives in there. It's amazing. It looks like the crab knows what the knife is. Yeah, it's Coming at you. It like, give me your wallets. They look like that. Dom, you need to look at army. Yeah. It will turn a day into sunshine. I do have. I would love to go to Christmas island one time and see the march of the crabs. You know how they just take over. That is cool. It's really fascinating. I Google crabs with knives. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, first you're going to get the punk band out of Sweden. But we are crabs with diet. Okay, this is. This is hilarious. I already found. There he is. Big screen. There it is. Hey, hey. And it's like a. Give me your wallet. Give me your wallet. Back off. Back off, pal. I tell you what, I'll stick you. And this guy's torturing this animal. I think he's trying to get the knife back. Yeah, I think he. Well, no, you know what? You're. It does look like he's eggy. Trying to make him back. Back up. Hey, hey. He almost got stabbed right there. Yeah, I'll get you. I'm a stabbing crab. Okay, well, what else you got, Christy? A new fossil analysis reveals a hobbit like species of early humans once roamed what is now indonesia. No, no. 20 years ago, scientists discovered fossils of an early human species that stood out. Cute people stood at about three and a half feet tall, earning them the Tolkien inspired nickname. Officially named named Homo floresis. The original hobbit fossils date back to between 60 and 100,000 years ago. I'm Flora Cesis, thought to be among the last early human species to go extinct. So they were little tiny. Almost can't procreate people. Hey, thank you, Josh. That was extraordinarily nothing. Extraordinarily nothing. Thanks for not checking out more because you went to a concert last night. Okay. I. Yeah. Have never heard of this. Me either. So they were essentially little people. Someone. Someone who's taken the hobbit real serious has came up with this theory. Oh, it's a nasty hobbit. Yeah. But they've discovered the bones of these critters. Yeah. Or people like critters. Boy, oh, boy. That's another reason he's not. They're early humans, Tom. They're not critters. But they're not the same species. Right. I mean, they have to be. They're not Homo sapiens. No. So. Yeah. They are a different species. Wow. I wonder if. I wonder if because they weren't tall, if that was such a disadvantage. They died out. Maybe those short people. We have it hard. It's tough. And they were three and a Half feet tall. Yeah. That's booster seat size. How would they know that those weren't just kids? Yeah, I think they can tell. Like good point. You can they find these million year old bones rings, Come on. Yeah, they can do, they can find with a bone how developed it is. Yes. Sometimes I get a little skeptical sometimes when they, they find, you know, well, we found one tooth and now we've, now we've turned this into a dinosaur. Now you're on chick's side. No, no, I've said this forever. They don't know how those bones went back together. They are guessing. Lots more to come on the Bob and Tom show here. Shower, beers and dirty Tom coming up. But next, gumb, vitamins and swimming. This is the Bob and Tom show. If you've heard that sound from Babbel before, I bet you do. Babbel is the science backed language learning app that actually works with quick 10 minute lessons. Handcrafted by over 200 language experts, Babbel gets you on your way to speaking a new language in just a few weeks. With over 16 million million subscriptions sold and a 20 day money back guarantee. Just start speaking another language with Babbel right now. Up to 55 off your Babel subscription at babel.com Spotify podcast spelled B A B-B-E-L.com Spotify podcast rules and restrictions may apply. Hey, welcome back. This is the Bob and Tom show and this is Christopher here in the Bob and Tom studios with some of the best of the Bob and Tom show including this one with gumballs, vitamins and swimming moods, whatever those are. Tom, we were discussing how we take our medicines because we're, we're, we are hip. We're just sitting around, sitting around talking about what but aches and pain. What do you. I just take, I take like two vitamins and Yeah, I think for most of us it's vitamins and supplements and you have got to be taking more than just a couple vitamins, blood thinner. You have parts from a different species. I don't take any chest. I don't take any other medicine. You don't have a blood. I take blood pressure. Nope. I take an eye vitamin and I. What's it? I forget what it's called. Eye vitamin. Yeah, it's apples, vitamins, vision, something. And I take just a daily multivitamin. Yeah. All right. Well, did you know? I know. What did you say? I didn't hear you. No, I said that's Apple's brand of vitamins. Thank you. That's Very clever. The. No, no, it's. It's for my eyes over the counter. It's not even a prescription. It's just a baby carrot. You know, I don't eat baby carrots. Why not? The same reason I don't eat veal. I want the. I want that carrot to have a full life. I did that joke years ago and I got a very long letter from someone to explain the baby carrots are not really baby carrots and baby corn. Well, Chick and Christie have been talking about these cool kind of designer pill. Pill. Pill caddies. Yeah, that. You guys. Well, listen to what Bill from Dundee, New York. Oh, right there on Seneca Lake. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Yes. Oh, yeah. So he says he keeps his meds. And this is, this is what he's not being. He's not making a joke here. This is what he does. All right? He keeps him in a gumball machine which dispenses those two inch round containers like they have at Walmart with the prizes in them, right. He says he fills them with his daily pills and then he puts in 50 cents to get his prescriptions, so called delivered. Delivered to him. And then he said it's kind of fun. And the money goes to the kids. Piggy bank. What a great idea. That's a great idea. Sounds like a grandpa. Yeah. I don't know if they mean if he means his kids or if he means. But doesn't this sound like a fun thing the grandpa would do to go get grandpa's pills? And who know, maybe you're a father that's 32 years old and if so. That's great. Yeah, that's fun. That is so cool. Why not? So he got. He has the little balls, the plastic balls that. Oh, that's. So it's a lot of work and 50 cents a day. Yeah, right. What if you're short to change one day? You just can't take your nitroglycerin. Yeah, sorry, I'm seizing. Some days you get a little temporary tattoo. No meds long. It says do not resuscitate temporary tattoos. You remember that story, the dnr? The guy, the guy had a do not resuscitate tattoo. Two. Yeah. And then there was a whole. Whether or not it was legal. Yeah, yeah. Right, right. Tom invented the term yesterday. Heat hat. Yep. He was trying to talk about the heat dome. I couldn't think of it. Temperature heat dome, which is serious business right now. And there's. We have an update on the Olympics heat issue. No air conditioning at Paris Olympics coming up starting July 26th. They have tubing running through the floors of the athletes village that they fill with cooling water that they're saying is going to act like an air conditioner. It's all pipes. It's all the pipes. Don't forget your slippers. Your feet will be cold. However, incredibly large number of athletes are bringing their own air conditioners with them, including the United States. Great British, Britain, Italy. No word yet on China if they're bringing air conditioners, but we'll. I'm sure they'll have room for it with all the drugs they're giving the athletes. We'll see. Performance enhancing drugs. Yeah. Okay. And here's Quang son. He weighs 350 pounds of pure muscle and he's 71. This one, he can actually swim and tow a water skier doing the backstroke. And I never got to say something. I was talking about the swimming. Olympic trials are going on right now. They got the swimming pool and an NFL stadium. Yeah, I don't know why you don't think that's as cool as I do. I'm actually going to be going to see it. But the answer is somewhere between. It's cool. It's not that cool. It's not. Are you kidding? The way you're treating it, you guys don't appreciate it. With all of the great things that engineers bring, our culture, you don't appreciate them. Well, you'd be down there five minutes ago. Engineers are good for one thing. The train. That's it. Oh, God. All right. Scared to choo choo, pal, but I just want to say your nose out of my swimming pool. I have certainly been in my, my share of swim meets, but let's just be real. The butterfly? Not really. Come on. Wait a minute. You want to do away with that? Do away with it? I'm just saying it's the most unnatural natural. No one's doing it. You never see anybody come up with that stroke anyway. Did they just have to have four events for some reason? They have the dog paddle. Yeah, it's in handy. More than the butterfly? Well, no. In the history of swimming, no one ever, you know, in 1850 did the butterfly. You know what I'm saying? No, it's, it's, it's not. Yeah, you're right. It's very unnatural. I think when I swim most as the breaststroke, don't you? Yeah, it's freestyle, baby. Great. No, because you don't have to put your face in the water all the way. Had you ever done any nude swimming? Yeah, sure do they do the backstroke to the up periscope thing. I'm Irish now. There's no up periscope from the water. Never hear about the Irish Navy, do you? That's why they do have, they have the backstroke, right, in competition. Yeah, of course, sure. How do you, how do you, you keep yourself straight in cartoons. The backstroke's hilarious. Oh, you spit. How do you not spit water in the air? How do you not hit your head on the wall? I, yeah. You know, that's what the flags were for. Really. What flags? See, the, the, the, the flag. I always thought that was just for decoration, the flag. What, the ceiling? No, so the American guy knows where the American lane is. Can anybody do a turn? No. When you're, what are you saying? There's little red triangle flags, like pendants that are. The pendants that hang across the pool. Right. So if you're going to. They hang across the pool. They hang them all the way across the pool. So you know where the way up high, though, right? No, they're right there. You can see them. Well, so those are for the backstroke people. Yeah. And then the, on the, the bottom of the pool is marked for everybody else. You're full. She's right. You are. Well, how, how far are they off the water? I, I, I have absolutely have to know now. Regulation. If they're not competing in the backstroke, do they take the flags up? Can anybody do a fancy turn? Can anybody do a fancy turn? I used to. Someone teach me. I love. I can't do it. We were in Iowa and I tried doing one, like 10 times, and I almost killed myself. They're hard, aren't they? I get it. I'm just coming up, just nose full of water. I used to be able to hit those. A lot of fun. Yeah. I tried the kick turn. I ended up on shore being kissed by a strange man. That is a turn. Yeah. And then the other. Still the big controversy about swimming in the triathlon in Paris. Are they going to let them swim in the Seine? And I think she's the mayor. Ann Hidalgo, the mayor of Paris, is going to, she's going to swim the date and the. It was the 20th. Oh, I've got. She shouldn't announce if people are threatening to crap in the river when she's going to be in. Well, people are literally threatening to have a mass defecation. If that's not serious. Yes, yes, they are. They're, they've, they've got a. What is it? A hashtag whole thing about. I can, I can find the Story. They have people measuring the current of the river so they can do their business downstream stream and time it so it will get to where it's the. And the. What's his name? Macron. What is he? The premiere. The President Macaroon. Pat, didn't Andy Williams sing a song about this event? What does it mean again? And it's June 23rd. Yeah. Join me, won't you? And it's. It's a protest. They're protesting the Olympics. I don't know. Making their city look great. I don't know what they're protesting, but. And then how are they going to get out of this? Because they're not going to be able to have any competition. In a sense, they're not going to be able to do it. So what are they going to do and how they get out? I'm assuming they have a plan B. Some lakes they're going to have to. Yeah. Here it is. The president, Emmanuel Macron. And Ms. An Hidalgo, her cousin is. Her cousin David, of course, is the guitar player for Los Lobos. Mayor Hidalgo doesn't sound like Paris mayor. No, it doesn't. Yeah, they have an organized protest. It's. Christy, what did you say? It's okay. Which translates to I in the sun. Yeah. So we are. What? I heard it, too. 23 June. Oh, okay. All hell's gonna break loose. All right, so then I think it's time now to start sports. Oh, wait a minute. Oh, wait. Pat has a song about. Oh, we had a song yesterday day from Peter Hard Dog. Pierre stayed at my house last night. I slept on your couch. I ate your cheese. I kiss your girlfriend. You made out with my cat. I said, where is the sweet, sweet pot? Do we have the time to do this song? Sure. Here we go. Long intro. Yeah, baby. Still no lyrics. Still no lyrics. Oh, here we go. Now it comes along. Okay. Some money should be spent on Paris, not wasted on the Olympics. So we say spent on infrastructure. Fix the Eiffel Tower. Tear down the glass pyramid at the Louvre. On English, the meaning is Pooping. Pooping. Where's my back? Pooping in the river. Oh. We could fix all buildings and streets now. Clean the river with an expensive pompa. Right before the mayor of this gorgeous city takes a dip. We should take a D. Yeah. English, you know, the meaning is so nice, but I smell so bad. Mered C. I know. You've been waiting for it all morning. Coming up next on the Bob and Tom Show, Dirty. That segment's next here on the Bob And Tom Show. Did you know that parents rank financial literacy as the number one most difficult life skill to teach? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app for families. With Greenlight, you can send money to kids instantly, set up chores, automate allowance, and keep an eye on your kids spending. With real time notifications, kids learn to earn, save, and spend wisely. And parents can rest easy knowing their kids are learning about money. With guardrails in place. Sign up for Greenlight today@Greenlight.com Spotify this is the Bob and Tom show once again. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Glad you're with us. How about some dirty Tom? Can you imagine? Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. What has gotten into you today? I have a theory as to what's gotten into Tom. What? What? Pat, Christy, Jess. Josh, Ace. I'm Chick. Tom's been a little. A little dirtier today. Yeah. Can we. Is he horny? I. Is. My theory is that you had a nice. A really lovely family weekend where it was non stop kids girlfriend, and now you're cutting loose a little bit with the. With the filth. A PG13 weekend. Yeah. Yeah. How do you feel about gal Pow, pow. Not. Not ever coming out of my mind. All right. Okay. What. Why. Why did you bring that up? No, because we were talking to Chad and criminy, what's her name? Oh, Kelsey. Kelsey. Yes. And they were like, oh, you're talking about girlfriend, lover. Oh, I thought maybe you were just talking about him looking for a gal pal because you would never have a girl as a friend. There isn't a good word for that. But you know, girlfriend, boyfriend, kind of fun. Do you have any friends that are girls you don't consider Christy and I your friends? Yeah, sure. Come on. That is simple. I bet you were the closest thing he has. I think the reason he sounded a little awkward when he said, yeah, sure is because truthfully, he thinks of you guys as more than friends. He thinks of you as like sisters or family. Right? Yeah. Yeah. See, but you did answer that, like after you've just robbed a bank. Someone asked you, did you rob a bank? For example, he sent you guys pictures from the fair. Did he send you pictures from the fair? No, but we did text this weekend. Yeah, I didn't get pictures from the fair. See, because you guys are friends. But there's. But that's also a guy. That is a dude. Yeah. Is that a dude? He knows. Here's what happened. Go ahead. He sent pictures of cows. Poop. No. Okay. Cows with giant teeth. No, that's not. And he. It isn't. Why he. I sent a very specific photograph. There's a picture of these five beautiful cows inside this famous building. And I said, I think he wants to redo the kink questionnaire. This is, this is the same building the Beatles played in 60 years ago. To me, that's just amazing. Okay, you're in the Coliseum. Okay, here are some cows now, where John stood. Is that what you need me now? There are times where, let's say, say Chick, Tom, Pat, and I will be part of a. And we, we don't include you because there's a reason, because there's a chance one of us, a very strong chance, will say something really so awful. We had a contest one time to come up with the worst sentence ever. Did you really? What was it? No, no, no. I would never. Josh. Josh won, I'll tell you that. Yeah, I will. I won't even say it in front of certain people off the air. Now, see, I can, I'll show you. Here's how it works. Okay. I was at the fair having a great time, right? And we have a little group text, and I just, it was really sunny, and it's hard to see the phone, but I, I, I sent one saying, this is where the Beatles played. Isn't that kind of funny? Right? And then Chick said, go grab you some immediately right out of the gate. Cow teeth. Cow teeth. Thank you. He didn't word it that delicately. And then he put the word slurp. And then, and, and then a thing of squirting fluid. You know what? I apologize. You guys keep hearing. Right? Right. I sent a picture. Just guys being guys. Yeah. And I sent him a picture going, there are no fewer than 500 people in line at the dairy bar. Which was true because we waited 40 minutes for my. And if you look at that picture, there's another, Another cow in that one. And then, then I sent him a picture of, Of Heart with her goldfish. Oh, you want another goldfish? We have another goldfish. So we're going to put it in the tanks. Yeah, we do. Now, you might be wondering, well, why couldn't I, Christy Lee and Jess be included in a picture of his daughter with a goldfish? Because Tom knows one of us will go, have you had sex with it yet? Right. Yes. We're going to say something idiotic. Okay. The goldfish. Yes. Yes. And then later on that day, a commentary about something of the announcements at the end of the. So did you actually. So you've put the goldfish in the bowl with the other goldfish. Yeah, you, you put the bag in. It floats around till the water gets the same. What's the over? What's the over? Under a life expectancy of a goldfish at the Griswold. Man. I still have the two from last year. Oh, isn't the difference because I got a regular aquarium. Yeah, it's five days or five decades. Our friend Ricky won one one year and he had it for a decade. But it wasn't a gold. But he, when he, he won it and when he got it, he put it in whatever it was. It was about 12 inches at death. Yeah. So yeah, he had it in a giant aquarium. We had one. We had one and I. We had it for, I bet, three years. And then I relocated the tank and didn't realize that it was sitting on a table that was right under a vent. It was one winter. And I boiled the fish. Oh, no. Well, more of a slow cook. Yeah. Yeah. Well, now I have a tip here for you, Josh. Yes, please. Tip. Oh, a tip from email. We were discussing this kink survey. Yes. And one of the questions, Christy, you had it was, are you comfortable walking into a so called sex shop? I voted no. Josh said, of course you would do that. He said, hey, if you drive by a sex shop and someone is walking out, beep your horn and wave and turn your head so they can't see who it is. So the rest of the day they wonder who it was and hope it wasn't someone from their church group. Thank you so. Good God. That's funny. The Spanky. Remember I told you guys I used to frequent a place called Spanky's where I would ran to my filth. And it was right next door to an Enterprise rent a car. And every time I would walk out of there, there would be people washing the rental cars in like. And in Enterprise you have to wear like a tie. Yes. So these guys all dressed up, washing cars would just see me walking out with a black plastic bag filled with rectangles, which were the VHS's I was wearing. Empty. Was that just a movie store or was it also. They had a toy section. Yeah, but it was mostly rent. That one did not award Video had the booths. What were they all about? I don't get that. Just go home. Yeah, I mean, if it's gonna be a boo, you know, I guess it was for guys who couldn't go home. Oh, my wife is always there. Yeah. So you would walk in and it was. Did they have, like, a lunch crowd. Yes. I'm not kidding that. Yes, you're absolutely right. The peak. Could you order food? No, no. Meaning guys on their lunch break. We have night and. No, I mean, you know, two birds. You sure? Yeah. Maybe give me 10 minutes. That'd be a great marketing special. Right. But I would hear guys come in and go, can I please have $20 worth of booth tokens or what? Yeah, yeah. And so you go in and you feed the machine, and it's a tv, and then you can flip channels. Oh, wow. So it's not a live woman. I thought it was a live woman. There are those, but not at these places. Now, that's going to be a little more than a token, right? Well, don't the strip clubs run lunch special sometimes, right? Oh, yeah. Lingerie lunch. One of the greatest chicken parmesan sandwiches I ever had was at a restaurant club. Why would you even try it? That'd be a. There's a. There's a coffee table book. Great food in unlikely places. That's good. I like that. Where is it? That'd be fun. This was around the time of my second bachelor party. No. We were doing some reconnaissance, and we. We went to a gentleman's club, and they had the best prime rib sandwich in my life. The one over here. No, pts. Pts. Yeah. Yeah, over here. My dad. My dad once told me a story. He and my uncle went to one of these booth places. Now, was this live or with video? No, this was video. Okay. And by the way, it's my dad's birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday, Larry. And so he Older, is he? What? It's true. Look at him laughing. He appreciates. Chick looked me right in the eyes and said that you're an awful. Your father was a great man. Well, thank you. Yeah. But. But he. He said that he and my uncle were. Were in adjoining booths. They were just in there for a lark kind of thing. Like next door? Yeah, yeah. So they could talk, like, hey, hey. And apparently my. What? Turn it to channel uncle goes. Hey, turn it to. No, turn it to 14. Or whatever this woman is. Oh, boy. How can I put this? You would think maybe it was the guy's birthday. Oh, okay. Does that make sense? She was accepting him and he. Sure. And they're watching, and all of a sudden it goes from a very close up to a wide shot. And it was actually two guys. I bet they howled. They. He said they howled for so long. Except his uncle said he. He was rather turned on. And please be long for the Next few minutes and. Okay. All right. Well. So there's comedy in these places? Sure. Yes. Well, there's comedy everywhere. There's also a deep, deep sadness. Yes, I was gonna say yes. Well, we have a. An opportunity, I think now for some people can just do it on their phone. Patty G. Yes, sir? You interested in playing a little something for us? I think I know what you want. Oh, you do? Do you mind on this one? Back in 97, way before Josh could stream he'd have to go to spankies for dirty tape or magazine down at the pawn shop Here after drive to a nasty rundown building off I65 down at the pawn shop the creepy clerk, he smiles down at the porn shop where's the big booty eye? Down at the porn shop his mom has many concerns at the porn shop when she makes his returns down at the porn shop porn shop oh, yeah Looking around the place Josh can't believe his eyes or no Videos of butts and boobies Every color, every size down at the porn show shop Way back in his you where he took his pants off in video booth down at the pawn shop oh, it ain't so discreet down at the porn shop your butcher's beating the me down at the pawn shop Josh won't leave the house down at the bottom doesn't need a hooker or spouse down at the porn shop Porn shop Thank you very much. Yes. Well, you're so comfortable talking about this. Was that just, like, open conversation when you were growing up? Like, it was a very healthy home and. And. No, not really. It was. Oh, no. It was like, kind of. My brothers would get furious if I ever brought this up in front of, like, my parents, because I would say certain things like, yeah, I'm gonna go run. My brothers would be like, what is wrong? Just for a laugh. Or you knew you were doing it or you felt made. Or you're very comfortable. The fact that you had your mother return pornographic movies. Mother and Father Yankees. Yeah. Yeah. See, I don't find that's a big deal, because it seems like. Because my mother and father were more like brother and sister. So, you know, just be. Huh. Oh, I see. Yeah. I mean, I think they were like your brother. Yeah. Not like they were. They were brothers. My brother and sister. Be clear, the specificity of the. Of the titles that are. That indicate what the specificity of these pornographic videos is, I would think would be somewhat. Right. Right. So you're, you know, did your mom come back? I was gonna say your mom had a follow up Question, as I recall. Did she come back Have. By the way, I just in case you were wondering. Oh, unnatural. That's what it was, right? Yes, yes, yes. Unnatural Ass Play three. Oh, no, it was just unnatural sex. And I forget what number in the series it was. Right? A series. Yeah. Were there subtitles there? No, no, there were no subtitles subtitles. It just said at the bottom, no chickens were actually killed. Oh, my God. See, I rented based on actress. I didn't rent based on categories. All right, like, oh, this one has Jessica Darlin. Sure. This one has, you know, them all. See, that's the thing, too. I want you to research them before the. No, no. Well, you start off just renting, and then you go, oh, I like her work. Yeah. Or she's attractive to me. Yeah, yeah. She has this attribute that I enjoy. I want to get more from her. I've never understood guys who go, I just look at porn, I don't know their names. First off, I don't believe you. And if you are being truthful, that's insane to me that you don't remember the names of the porn star stars you like. How do you not. Yeah, so what, you turn on the radio and just go, I like music. Well, you like that song. You want to listen to more from them. I just listen to music. But there are people that like it that way. They don't want to know anymore. You got to know their names. So how do you find out their names? I mean. Well, they have credits. They have credits and. Yeah, they make up these fun names. No, no, sorry. On the Internet. Do they always have the names of the people when you watch? Not always, but I. Sir, I would search by name. Yeah. Like, oh, I'm in the mood to watch a little Gianna Michaels today. And that's every day. By the way, she's the greatest porn star to ever live. Janet Michaels. Gianna, please. Gianna, please. I'm sorry. Put some respect on her name. Right, Josh, who's your favorite porn star of all time? Chick. Let's see. I have to be an ace. I'm coming to you next, so you can start thinking. Oh, gosh. Vanessa Del Rio, Probably. All right, that's like, when I was. That's a little before my time, but I'm aware. Yeah, yeah. Classic vintage. Is she. Is she in fact, of. I don't. Hispanic heritage? Latina. Latina. Latin X. Yes. In her case, Latin, Triple X. Oh, yes, Ace. Who's the real smart one? Nina Hartley. Yes, Nina. Yeah. Very bright. Very, very bright. And Does a nice woman. Yeah, she was in here. Now, Godwin, do you know the names of any porn star that you've enjoyed? No, I went on actual dates. I didn't. Oh, you liar. How about that? I didn't look at porn. He said, come on. I honestly don't know. Except for the famous ones from, like, Linda Lovelace and Nina Hartley. Harry Reams. Oh, you don't often get a guy when you ask him professing and then. What's the guy's name? Jeremy. Ron Jeremy. I met him when I was an intern here. He was in the building, and I said, hey, can I get a picture? And he goes, you want me to grab your boob? And I was like, nope, just a picture. Do you want me to grab your boo? But maybe that he gets asked for. I think he does. I think he did. Yeah. And he's currently in very bad shape. Yes. And apparently. And a lot of grabbing boobs. I'll ask Jeff Owskay who his favorite was. I'm sure he has an answer. I could ask. Hey, listen, real quick, man. I didn't, like, I felt some judgment when you said, no, I dated. I was trying to get a laugh. The truth is that I'm in a position where I don't really want to talk about anything right now. No, that's totally for that. And I'm looking real seriously at not talking about anything ever again. We're coming right back with more of the Bob and Tom Show. Coming up, a couple of my favorite things. Shower, beers and blue jeans. We'll tie them together. Coming up next on the Bob and Tom show, you met Lala Kent on Vanderpump Rules. Now Lala and her friends share everything on Give them Lala Bagel. Everybody says I say that weird. It is ruined by a proposal story. How Jason proposed and she was like, he brought in a bunch of bagels. I was like, I have to stop this. I will punch you in the throat if you ever tell this story again and call it a bagel. Let me tell you now, when I tell the story, I go, he went and got breakfast. There you go. Bagels. Yeah. Watch what Lala is talking about on YouTube or search for Give them Lala. Wherever you listen. Once again, thanks for joining us this morning. This is the Bob and Tom show, and this is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Let's wind things up today with some shower beers and some blue jeans. Now, just around the corner, we were talking about USA and the Olympics. And we were talking about what is it Ralph Lauren has designed the. The outfits, if you will, for the opening ceremony. Bravo, Ralph. For the most part. And closing ceremony. Good looking stuff. And blue jeans are going to be worn by the Americans on the way. I'm kind of cool. Please, please, Pat. Yes. Say blue jeans for us. I want blue jeans. Ivan, you will not get them. It reminded me of this story. This is a famous story. Remember this guy from. I have sports. That's fine. Yeah. And it's an Olympic connection. But go ahead. No, no, we remember. We plugged that as a song. Oh, is that what we're doing? Yeah. Oh, okay. The head of Levi's, Emil Levi, Charles uh, Berg. B E R G H A clarified remarks about never washing his jeans. Remember this? I do remember this. Of course this idiot never was. Wait a minute. Worth a billion dollars. So what? There are a lot of billionaire a. I mean idiots. Okay. This about never washing your jeans and blah blah blah. And then he said he showers in them and then hangs them to dry. Yeah. Raw denim. Folks do this. They put them in the freezer. Right. A lot of wacky ways people take care of jeans. Oh God. Wash them and wash them with them on in the shower. Yeah. Sam did this senior of high school. I tried doing it for a while but I wasn't patient enough. To do what? Put your. Yeah, raw denim. There's companies like APC. It's a 200 pair of blue jeans. But it lasts for years and they mold to your body. Yeah. Like you'll see your phone line within the jeans. It's really cool. But it's not for me. I. I can't keep up with it. Like gotcha. This guy's just says you can take showers in your jeans. I don't know. It's not a cast iron skilled. Let's apparently jeans, for God's sake. Yeah. Now Willie, what do you think about the idea of shower beers? I love shower beers. Shower beer is my favorite thing in the world. Is it? They're so. It's so relaxing. Just be your. Your first drink of the night. Have it at home, have it in the shower. You can spill it all over yourself and then you wash your face after. It's so nice. Really party it up. I will say though, if you have too many shower beers at one time or you just don't clean it up after a while. Like let's say after a nice weekend, Friday, Saturday, you have two in the beer. Two beers in the shower before you go out. Then there's four beers in there. By Sunday you have A lady over, she goes. In your shower? Sure. Two highlights and two PBRs. She goes, My goodness, what is wrong with you? Yeah, yeah. Now, do you have a. Excuse me. Do you have a no glass roll like at the pool? You know what my favorite shower beer is a cold Miller High. Life in glass. Yeah, I know you like the beer. Nice. Should I get you a sign made that says no glass containers and post it in your shower? Oh, my God. He wants to make a poster for Willie. He loves making signs. It's okay. I've got a sign coming for Josh. Here we go. When you see it, you and Ace Will together. High five me. You're gonna love it so much. All right. It is. I'm so excited. I'm almost as excited about this as the thing I gave you last month. Oh, yeah. And you love that. Oh, I do. The sign you're making. Making me isn't paper and pink, is it? Here, here. Enjoy this sign. Well, shower beer. He didn't say no, did he? No, he didn't. Really? Olympic hopefuls are. No. We had to get our song. Okay. Remember that? Remember the jackass that said, take a shower in your. This is so stupid. Are we still in the setup? Yeah, we are. What's the song, Pat? Well, 10 minutes ago, we started talking about showering in. Yes. Chipberg, the head guy at Levi. Levi's boss. When he spills some tomatoes on his dungarees. No washing machine. No, he'd much rather take it. A shower in blue jeans. Babe. Denim unwashed. You keep wearing them till they gather moss, but I'd rather have them fresh and clean. You look like an idiot taking a shower. Maybe someday I can buy jeans only once and just throw them away. But for tonight, I want clean clothes when I'm on dates. Yeah. Sweaty crack. Wash your jeans and dry. Clean your slacks. Unless the naked girl's with me. Or a beer. I'd much rather take a shower in blue jeans. You okay? I don't know what happened here. Too much affectation. The worst part would be the drying. Can you imagine walking around in wet blue jeans, then the rest of the day? I kind of used to have to do it. What? My mom wasn't great at drying the clothes. What I mean is, like, washing okay. Yeah, but then. But she just pulled the clothes out when the dryer said, you know, it was time. Like when it beeped sometimes. It's still damp. Yeah. So I'd go to school wearing it half wet jeans. And I've complained about this before. I've Got a brand new washer and dryer at my new house and I. They never get them all the way. Yeah. Yeah. They've got that sensor thing. It never works. Never. You got to always add 20 minutes. Take them out, ring them out. No, you always have. Yeah. You hit the. Hit the button for the extra 20. Yes. Always some green initiative that's just biting us in the ass. Yeah. And I don't like that mini floor flush toilet. As Chick McGee once told me. I want a toilet that'll carry the mail. But seriously, think about if you're washing. If you're standing in the shower with your jeans on. Sucks. It would. You'd have to ring the legs. You'd have to walk through your house. Yeah. Water everywhere. And I think you don't want to ring it out because then it'll have sort of like lines in it. Yeah. I think you just. You take them off and then you hang them is how you do it really. You hang them dry. Awful. I dry them until they're steaming and like they're. Stupid idea. Olympic hopefuls are expressing their fears of a heat wave in Paris this summer. In a report released by several British and American climate advocacy and sporting organizations, a group of athletes say they're concerned about conditions at the upcoming Olympic games. They said the athletes who are pushing their bodies to the absolute limit and pushing their bodies against other bodies be pushed over the edge of what they can tolerate as temperatures get into the 90s. Paris get into the 90s in the summer. According to NBC News, traditional air conditioning in the athletes village has also been replaced with a geothermal cooling and natural ventilation with organizers saying temperatures in the dorms. Natural ventilation. Does that mean the windows are open? It says here that temperature. According. It does seem like one of those phrases. The par Paris Olympic Committee the dorms will be at least be 11 degrees cooler than outside temperature. Oh. Is what they're saying. So if it's 92 out, it'll be 81. That's hard to sleep in. 81. Yeah. Yeah. During the Tokyo Olympic Games, around 110 athletes suffered heat related illnesses as temperatures at some outdoor venues exceeded 95 degrees and humidity levels hit about 7. It'll be so hot, people going to want to jump in that river. The sin. Yeah. And no matter how many turds they spot in it, there's a floater. So what I'm. Hot dumps be damned. Dear Chicken company I was in Paris on Saturday. I can absolutely understand why the residents are pissed off. The city is an absolute mess. There's absolutely no way they're going to have everything finished in five weeks for the start of the Olympics. There is ongoing construction everywhere. Kind of amusing, considering they were the Olymp. They held the Olympics there seven years ago, Julia. I was talking to somebody at the gym the other day that just got back from Paris. They said, you can't get anywhere right now. Wow. But be ready for the Olympics. I'm so excited because I'll be watching them on tv. On the tube. On the tv. I want to. I would have to worry about. I'll be using the air conditioner at my house. Yeah, that's. That's why I put it in, you know. Yeah. Comfort. That summer. Things been coming around. Well, ever since I was a kid. Do all the athletes stay at the same place? Really? So, like star basketball players? Well, that one year they stayed on the place. I think that was a big deal. When the Dream Team went over there on the boat, they had the yacht and I think some of the guys went to like, villas and stuff. Yeah, the NBA players. But I don't. I don't know. What are they allowed to. I don't mean. Could you rent the Four Seasons and. I don't know. I need a smoking room. Sir. This is Paris. They're all smoking. I wonder if they are allowed. No, I mean tourism. They would understand. Yeah, I don't think there's any ashtrays in the Olympic Village. I don't think there's a lot of people smoking in front of buildings out there. You don't know, man. When do you compete? Vending machine guys standing next to vending machine smoking and eating Andy Caps Hot fries right out of the vending. Yeah, yeah. What is the new pouch thing called? Zips? Zins. Zin. What is it? Z, Z, U, Y, N. Is that. That's one to put like in your lip? Yeah, I got one up there right now. It's just. It's like. Oh, that's the cafe. The nicotine. Yeah. So, like, this is to. Vince, vaping is to a cigarette as this is to dip. Does that make sense? Okay, I kind of said it in a clunky way. Oh, to dip. Okay, I see. It is a tobacco. Free oral tobacco. Is it a pretty good. Pretty good buzz? Oh, buddy, this will get you home. Is it minty? Right now I have a cinnamon one in. Oh, okay. So like Big Red. It's kind of nice. Isn't there some huge controversy about these right now? I do not know. I saw something on the nude, but I. Yeah. There's. Yeah. They're causing a second. They cause hallucinations. A second second wiener. Yeah. Bigger than the first. Yes. That's why their spokesman was Dick Siamese. This is the Bob and Tom show, named one of the best personal finance podcasts. The Stacking Benjamin show with Joe and his friends makes financial literacy fun. Draymond Green has a podcast. He was asking Mark Cuban why, at the beginning of2024, Cuban sold a huge part of his company. He's like, did you see how much money I got? I'm sure there's a more graceful answer than that, but, dude, I bought it for 200 million and sold it for 6 billion. It was that much more graceful than that. Find out more by searching the Stacking Benjamin's podcast. Wherever you listen.