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The BOB & TOM Show - December 26, 2024
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The BOB & TOM Show - December 26, 2024
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Tom Griswold
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states. It's the Bob and Tom Show. This is a song I wrote for a special person. All right. Each time I need a trusted friend, you're there. Tears to dry and a heart to. To mend. You're there. And when I'm down in misery and the whole world turns it's back on me. And I need some love and sympathy. You're there. Nice, isn't it? Oh, yes. And when I'm weary and tired of trying, honey, you're there. And anytime I need a shoulder to cry on you. And sometimes when I come home with a heavy heart and weary bones and I need a little time alone, you're there. I want to turn the stereo on, but you're there. I gotta get in to use the job, but you're there. When I wake up lovingly and turn on my pillow hoping to see Kim Basinger smiling back at me, you're there. Oh, this is more of a good thing than I ever planned. How much? Damn. Together the one man stand. Don't get me laughing here. All right, Sorry. I wanna flop down in my favorite chair. But you're there. I can't see in the mirror to comb my hair. Cause you're there. And when I want a little snack at night, I sneak down to the fridge to get a little bit. I see a big fat ass blocking out the light. Cause you're there. Yay. Hell. Good morning. Hello. From coast to coast, it's the mom and Tom Show. Tom, many portions of the upcoming program have been pre recorded, meaning they've already happened and they're about to happen again. So where was it? Oh. Oh, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, we're glad to have you here. It's the Bob and Tom Show. Tom, back in the saddle, fresh from the slopes, little Colorado ski time. That's right. Did you have a great dinner? Yeah. Anything jumps to mind. Piece of meat, hunk of meat, maybe some elk, caribou there in the mountains. Let's see, I had some pancakes, chicken noodle soup one night and see some sushi. That's about it. All right. Boy, you know, you know how to party, don't you? You know how to live, don't you? I was busy. I think you might I think you might eat less than. Christy just had a. You know, went to this. A very serious sushi place, though. Very, very serious. How does it get very serious? So I was sitting right there in front of the guy. Yeah. Sushi restaurant. No, but. I know, but I mean, I'm right there. It's like at the bar. Yeah, of course. And this guy had the whole suit on and the whole deal, and he's the whole. Every sushi restaurant so far, it sounds like every. I kept is. And he's taking these hunks of fish and he's making these razor thin cuts. I kept waiting for a chunk of his thumb to come off. This guy was great. Skilled. Yeah. And this guy. This guy, is he. I don't think he speaks any English. So did you think. You would think that restaurant that you go to, they cut it up in the back and then bring it out to you. The chefs are always out front. No, but I mean, I'm sitting right there, though, and this guy comes in and he's sitting right there. This. This is a famous place. And then he. This guy bows and says something to you in Japanese. What is it? Nobu? Yeah. No, it's a different one. Oh. I think it was called bufu. Oh, a lot of. A lot of ex con. You get the check and you go, boy, I feel like I've been boofed. That's the truth. But it was good. Yeah, I'm doing some all protein stuff, so it's great. Skiing was great. That's great. Can't be good. And I got really badly sunburnt. I'm sorry. That's okay. I just. On the sun, I think you look fine. Great with color. Yeah, I think you should do that more often. I've got kind of a raccoon thing going. Yeah, I don't know about that. You look fine. Okay, well, good. Well, thank you. I don't know. Had a great time. You look fine. Speaking of skiing, we have skiing in the sports kind of skiing in the sports. Skiing. Not just any skiing, Josh. Colorado towns and now Tom. Tom Sports. Yes, just for Tom. Well, I mean, we could hear about some assistant coach in the NFL. No, that would be too far, too boring. Having something to do with. Too common. I've never heard of it. ESPN changing its name to NFL Colorado town celebrated unusual sport called. You go ahead and do this, because I don't know what they want. Well, I believe this is a Scandinavian skioring. I think it. The J is probably silent skioring. Skioring. But it Looks like ski joring. What's ski yoring? It combines skiing with the rodeo. The rodeo. Let's try to put a ski on a horse. It's not easy. You ever tried riding? Oh, no. The ski is the skis racing, and it's the boots that are a. It's just. They have to ride a horse with skis. No, it's. This is. Goes back more than 100 years. Competitions involve horses. Why have. Now, this is something none of us has ever heard of. Yeah. Competitions involve horses and sometimes dogs, snowmobiles, or even cars. All right, that sounds like a reputable competition. They tow skiers by rope at speeds that can top 40 miles an hour. So imagine it's sort of like water skiing over. Except you're behind a horse as high as 8ft. Behind a horse. Okay. Or a car, it sounds like. Or a snowmobile. The horse is tougher, though, because if the horse, you know, stops, I. Sure, yeah. Yeah. Well, defecate. Yeah, you gotta. Oh, yeah. There you go. You gotta move, right, Hans? Skiers also maneuver around obstacles. Oh, he forgot his goggles. That's a bad day. They do. So you got poop in his face. That's why. That's why. That would be funny. I'd like to have one where you could lasso snowboarders. Take them down. Did you have any of those this weekend? Did you see any? Of course, yeah. Oh, okay. Usually. Usually as they're running into skiers. I thought you. You went places where they. They didn't allow. I didn't. I'd love to see that, though. Skiers also maneuver around obstacles. They try to lance suspended hoops with a baton. Typically a ski pole that's cut in half, though. Competitions have a long history in Colorado towns. Huh? Like, I believe it's Leadville. Leadville. It is Leadville. Leadville. Okay. It is very cold there. From the things you find interesting, it is derived from the Norwegian word skewering, meaning skydiving. It has nothing to do with that either. Baffling story. Oh, it really. It really is. What a mess. This story is skoring. They used to do it behind reindeer. It says. Well, that's not skydiving. It's. There's. The Norwegian word means ski driving. Ski driving. You can see why that it would. Now that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Out of nothing else. Reindeer are. They don't really exist. They're just for Santa. Reindeer. Reindeer exists? No, I don't think so. Made its debut in Stockholm. Looking it up at the Nordic. Nordic Games. Of 1901. 1901 checks right. They do not exist. Thank you. They don't have that at the Winter Games anymore. Skewering? No, they don't. Be kind of cool. I think I'd watch it be fun. Leadville, by the way. Altitude 10,158ft. Population under 3,000. But it's cold there. Is that right? Thank you, Tom. Yeah, generally it's cold where people ski. Do you realize no one is interested in this but you? You know that? How cool would it be to see some guy skiing behind a horse? Hey, Bob and Tom. And by the way, why didn't they call it Scodio? Wouldn't that be better? I like the word combination. Skiing and rodeo. Yeah. Dear Bob and Tom. Hey, you guys, you just don't get it. It's not like any other sushi restaurant. Tom, all caps was sitting right there. You guys don't get it, honestly. Thank you, Chris. In Tom's defense, when you guys go to sushi restaurants, are you always sitting at the bar? I usually only sit at the bar if I'm by myself. One of the place I go, there's only four seats at the bar. I never sit there. But I'm just saying, the guy was right there. And this guy was. This guy's. This guy's got the whole. This guy's got the whole samurai suit on, the whole deal. Our defense. So there are only four seats at the bar, but there are tables. Right. And what do you think is a samurai suit? And when you're sitting at a table at that sushi restaurant, do you not see the chef? Yeah, but I'm not. I'm not a foot and a half away from this guy with the machete about to cut his thumb off. AC's got a whole. Looks like he's. He's about to enter the ring. He's got the Thai belt and the special hat on. Yeah, they always have some kind of uniform. Could you see his eyes? Could you see his whole face? If you can see his whole face, it's not a samurai. Out. Did he give you a sample piece of anything? Oftentimes they will. Really? Or they'll give you a special treat for sitting in there, kind of working on. Or they got a really cool little tiny sculpture look. Just a little, like about. Like about an inch and a half high. What's this thing for? You know what? It's for you. Layers. You lay your sticks on it. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. You're not. Okay. Yeah. It's very disrespectful. To put chopsticks on the table. I didn't know this. I didn't. I didn't know any of this stuff. Oh yeah, those things are cool. Yeah. Yeah. I wasn't there very well. You don't have your. You don't have a favorite sushi shop minus Tanaka San. I love him. Now we're on the other side of it. I used to have. Now we're in the pretentious minutiae. You don't have a favorite sushi chef? No. No, I don't. Hey, good morning and welcome to the Bob and Tom Show. Here for the day after Christmas. Hope you had a nice Christmas day. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios. On the show today, Kevin Neal and Reno Collier, Sam Miller, Frank Caliendo and lots more. But coming up next, couple of songs for you from the Electric Amish. Right on the Bob and Tom Show. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are the things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios. Boy, the Electric Amish have been with us for such a. Such a long time. And we had them in studio recently. And here's a couple of songs from the Electric Amish. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Thank you very much. That's the rehearsal room. You can hear the garbage getting ready. I'm running through it. Yep. Yeah. Now, Graber, can you hear me? I can hear you, Tom. Oh, good. Could you hear us? Yes, yes. It was exposed to. No, no, I, I sound. It sounds like something original you're working on, which sounds good. Hey, Graber, I can't help but notice. I've been to a lot of concerts and I've never seen anybody change guitars as much as you do. Oh my gosh. And it's crazy because I've never had a roadie before. Yeah, you know, Tom Graver changes guitars almost as often as he changes his underpants. But he means about half. Don't you just flip them around after one day? Guitars? No, you can't play them backwards. Oh, okay. I meant your underwear. It's my understanding that you guys have a brand new song for us. Is that true? No, that is true. Yeah, we, we came on here, we wrote a brand new original number. If you, you Want to hear it? Absolutely. Well, that. That works out great because we were wanting to play it, so. Here we go. You kids ready? Yep. Yep. Here we come. There's a button. Yeah, I don't know what it is. My. My roadie, a guy named Dean, said to hit this button. I forgot to hit the button. Oh, okay. Can you hear me now? Yeah. Can you hear me? There he is again. Here we come. Click Clopping up the street. You think our clothes look stupid or it's trick or treat. Yeah, yeah. We're the omnis all we do is work and pray we're the plain generation we got nothing just say yeah on any road almost anywhere. We're probably backing up traffic but we just don't care yeah, yah we homage all we do is we've been praying far enough. Plain generation, we still got nothing to say we're just trying to be holy. Homage is the only, only way you can disagree if you want to but we'll see what God has to say. We'll see what God has to say. Yeah, we'll see what God has to say. Yeah, I know what God's gonna say. Thank you very much. Ladies and gentlemen, the Electric Amish. Very nice. And their tribute to being Amish and being plain. You guys have time to do one of the classics for us? Oh, we got time to do all 20 songs we got down here. Okay, what do you got for us, fellas? This is one of the classics. Some people say it's a classic, some people say it's hack. I don't know. This is a song about. It's about a barn, honestly. Oh. A lot of our songs are about barns, farm animals, farming and heathens. You guys ready? Here we go. 1, 2, 1, 2. Get your buggy rolling Way up past the silo Way up past the corn field to a little place that I know yeah Fred. I gonna drink some cider dance until the morning light Break all the commandments at once just like a DEG midnight. I like wearing black clothes readin from der Bible Talking to my milk cows and cleaning out their stable Y Grab the stick and yank it up and down Start slowly then move it faster don't let us feel on the ground though the person thinks it's vile It's a barn, a barn to be wild the way you're working my churn no, I'm going to burn. Born to be wild Born to be wild. Hey, Carl. Yeah, Graver. Do you know it's black and white with red all over? I know. Graver what is black with white or red all over? It's Barry with a sunburn. Good one, Graver. Hey, Carl. Yeah, Graver? Do you know how many Mennonites it takes to satisfy Barry's wife? Oh, I know, Graver. How many Mennonites does it take to satisfy Barry's wife? I heard she likes 5 mennonite money get your horses running Gotta pass the hog feed Straight out to the pasture where me and Greta gonna plant our see? Come and milk my cow Watch your cream rise up to the top Fire all your udders at once it's good to the last drop Though the parson thinks it's vile It's a barn, a barn to be wild if we do it right, you'll be milking all night Born to be wild Time to be wild hey, Carl. Yeah, Berry. Carl, do you know why it is that Graber? Yeah. Do you know why it is that Graver is just like my outhouse? I know, Barry. Why is Graver just like your house? Well, you see, Carl, Braver's dislike my outhouse because they're both foolish. You said those nasty things about my bike. Okay, Barry, I apologize. Thank you very much. It was just a joke. Totally false. Yeah, just a city joke. I heard it takes seven. Wait a minute. There you go. The electric Amish and barn to be wild. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you very much. Fellas, stick around. We'll have him come back in a few minutes. I get a lot of dancers at their shows. I don't know. Oh, gosh. Oh, are you kidding me? Yeah. Yeah. You packed the dance for. Oh, heck, yeah. I think they're dancing. They're. They're, like, moving really fast all towards the exit. What about. What about dance? Have you guys ever. Ever written a song for a strip club? Maybe like apple pie. She's my apple pie Long skirt showing off her ankles. Oh. You ever been to an Amish strip club? No. No, Not a great time. It's expensive and you don't get to see nothing. A lot of hair, I'm guessing. Well, thank you, fellas. We'll. We'll bring back the boys. You can watch the. Watch them on the Bob and Tom YouTube channel, etc. Etc. And we've got Noah doing a great job on the visuals today for us. We return now to the sports page. Yeah, we've got. The jockstrap has just turned 150 years old. Whoa. The project protective garment. He said predict there's a dick in there. Was invented. Sounds like someone 1874. The jockstrap. Invented, really by Mr. C.F. bennett, who worked for a company known now known as Bike Athletic. It was designed to protect the precious parts of bicycle messengers as they navigated the bumpy cobblestones of Boston. That makes sense. Isn't that interesting? The jockstrap has since stretched beyond the athletic world, largely thanks to gay men who have embraced it since the 50s. What? Really? What? In recent decades, it has graced catwalks and magazine covers, most recently, Kristen Stewart for the COVID of Rolling Stone. Despite its age, the garment is far from fading away. Bike Athletics said it sells several million dollars worth of jock straps a year. By that, Bike athletics said about 70% of its customers are gay men. I'm. I'm skeptical. I don't understand. That's what I said. I was shouted down. The Associated Press article says I don't reason to deny it. I'm sure they've done their market research. How. How. How do they find out about someone's sexual orientation if they. They. Market research. I don't. I mean, how do they know anything that they. They knew. Everyone knows. Who. Their audience. Yeah, but that doesn't sound like a question that. I just want to know why. Yeah. It doesn't. Makes no sense. No. I've never found them comfortable at all. They're weird. I think they'd be more comfortable if. If the. If the ass crack was covered. That'd be my butt floss. Do you. You had a cup in. No, they've. It's a V. Like, it's. It goes around the. The cheeks. Yeah. Oh, it does. It doesn't. It leaves. It leaves the gluteal cleft exposed. Maybe that's the key. I don't think so. Oh, no, no. I tried to tell him, and he would. He won't listen to me. That you didn't want to talk about this. Yeah. Jock straps are not underwear for gay men. No, I don't care what the AP 70. No. No. And in this case, I think AP is spelled Tom. Yeah. I don't care what the AP says. Look at the. Look at the source on this. Associated Press. The Bike Athletic Company knows what they're doing. You ever worn a jock strap, Christy? No. Of course she's not a gay man. Yeah. I've worn a thong. That's bad enough. In, like, high school football. The jockstrap has, like, a sleeve, like a kangaroo pocket. Yeah. And you slip in a hard, fiberglass protective device. Yes, that makes sense. I thought that was why you wore a jock strap all along. It is. I Think they fit slightly better if you actually have a cup in there, I think. And in your analysis and from your experience, chick, how many NFL players wear a cup? 00%, we have been told. Why is that? I don't know. I think it's probably slows you down a little bit. The NFL players would not wear any extra pads at all if. If it were up to them. They don't like shoulder pads either. Oh, you'll have your exceptions, of course. The bigger the shoulder pads, the better. But not very many, so careful. Happy birthday to the jockstrap. Okay. For the entire day in their honor, I'll be cradling them. Cradling. You are really something. You know, it's. It's a. This is from a press release from the bike company. A press release? Why don't you send me. I thought. At first I thought it was from the ap. So. Associated Press. Well, that's where they got the information. Oh, okay. Is that right? Yeah. Is that right? They don't. I don't know. Do you have it on your phone? Does anyone else find this odd? Yeah, very, very odd. The story is very odd. It's the birthday of the jockstrap. That's fine. Yeah, that's okay. Let's just. Gay angle. I don't know why it got dragged into. It's in the story. I don't know why. Perhaps a gay gent can give us a call and tell us why they. Yes, why is a big thing. Where's Frank? Alabama. Frank, let us know about this. If this is indeed a thing or if the AP is. Is misunderstood or something. So odd. I thought my favorite line in it was Bike athletics said about 70% of its customers are gay men. But what my other. My other favorite sentence is the jockstrap has since stretched beyond the athletic world, largely thanks to the gay men who have embraced it since the 50s. So Rock Hudson was walking around in a jock strap on. No. Hey, look, I don't know. I. I worry about. I never saw a picture of Tab Hunter sitting on a beach. I bet Liberace used to enjoy sitting. Hey, maybe we'll learn something. Please. I hope we do. Yeah, I hope so too. Somebody will fill us in. Our gay listeners. Please let us know. I don't own. I have gay friends and they've never mentioned once ever wearing a jock strap. Maybe that's some kind of code. Maybe it's some kind of secret society. I can't imagine. Pat Godwin, you own a jock strap? Yeah. You do? I do. Yeah. Okay. Really Just one. Do you wear it when you play pickleball? I do, actually. No kidding. What about you? I do own a. A cup and a jock strap. Yes, no kidding. I wore them. I was in that silly super low budget superhero thing. Oh, okay. So I wore it as a COD piece type thing in case you get thrown into a baseball game. You're ready to go. I do. You do. See, I don't. Although my. My regular underwear has one of those pouches that I like very much. Keep the boys right to. Yeah, right where. I know where they are. I don't want them wandering off. I don't want them wandering off or falling to the ground. This is Andy from Iowa. Hi, Andy. I have a drawer full of jock straps and wear them on a regular basis. And yes, I am a gay man. If Tom isn't familiar with the lingo, this Andy says, yes, I am a mo. All right, well, that's fine, but what does that mean? He's got bangs like chick. You're cool, but. Hello. Second syllable of. Oh, I see. Hello, Ace and pat. Oh, nice. From Andy. Well, that's very nice, but please, Andy, let us know why. And Andy, would you be insulted if someone representing the Bike Athletic Company asked what your sexual orientation was? I don't think so. I would hope not. I mean, every, every company knows who uses their product, certainly. But this is the big. The big controversy right now involving menthol cigarettes is the best example. The. I don't think that's a thing either. It absolutely is, you blank and lunatic. No, if you do it. Any reading. Yeah, let us know if this is it can't be an easy access thing. That just seems too on the nose. Yeah. If you were. If you were Dave Chappelle, this would be okay for you to be talking about. Do you understand? In front of the United States government right now. More sports coming up, including. Today's the day. What's the day? My resignation. Okay, here we go. No, no, don't try to talk me out of it. We have more of the Bob and Tom show coming up for you next Saturday Night Live alumnus Kevin Nealon. That's next here on the Bob and Tom Show. This episode is brought to you by LifeLock. The holidays mean more travel, more shopping, more time online, and more personal info in places that could expose you to identity theft. That's why LifeLock monitors millions of data points every second. If your identity is stolen, their US based restoration specialist will fix it, guaranteed. Or your money back. Get more holiday fun and less holiday worry. With Lifelock save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com podcast terms apply. Hello and welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios with the best of the Bob and Tom Show. How about a segment here with Saturday Night Live alumnus Kevin Nealon? We have a guest. Yes, we do. Kevin Nealon. To just come in and sit down. There he is. Wow. Usually when I walk in, people go crazy. You guys just continue your conversation. Oh, yeah. That was a fly on the wall. We were trying to. We were trying to keep our cool. Yeah, man, I'm telling you. What? Geez, I thought maybe I'm in the wrong room. No, great to see you. Yeah, you too, man. It's good to be back. Yes. Sometimes I'll come to the radio station. I can't remember if I've been here before or not, but I don't think I've been to this one. But you guys are all over the country. I don't think you've been in this studio. You've been here. Yes, I have been here. Yeah. Someone gave the thumbs up, but it's okay. I forget every day too, so it's all right. Yeah, that's all right. How's the traffic today? How's the trap? I don't do anybody. No, I know, but you drove in, right? Oh, well, I drove in at 4:30, so it wasn't bad. Did you see the way I covered myself right there? That's a professional lady. One time Gary Shanling was on stage. Love, Gary, good friend of mine. And he said to the woman in the front row, he said, when are you having your baby? She goes, I'm not pregnant. He said, oh, I'm sorry. Because you had a glow about you. She forgot all about, boy, you're fat. He just called me a fatty. Fat. I think so. But anyway, it's good to be here, man. Like, this is. Let's see this. Six of us now. Yeah, six, five guys. Oh, there's one back. Oh, yeah. There's one guy behind. One guy over there, Pat Godwin, who you see on the TV screen. We have to keep him sequestered over there. Really? Yeah. He can still have Covid. Yeah, that's what we tell him. You should put a big mask over the whole window. Yes, that would be good. I have bad hair days. Oh, yeah. Well, I've never seen a table in the round like this. You could put a fountain in the middle. Yeah. We've always talked about, why is there dead space in the middle? But and there's no way to get in there unless you climb over the desk. I think we should have our guests stand there and perform in the round with their microphone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'd be a great idea, Kevin. Get in, you hike. Jump in there. This would be a good bar, actually. Put a bartender in the middle. Yeah. Wiping up the bar. They should have mics at every bar, actually. And, you know, you go to. Excuse me, I ordered a seven to seven. Where is it? Hello. Check, please. Did you just come from doing your incredibly successful podcast? What is it? Hiking with Kevin. Hiking with Kevin. It's a web series. I take pride in saying I don't do a podcast. Okay, all right. Okay. Because it's outside. I have a selfie stick, and, no, I did not just come from there, but I did just finish my fourth season. About 116 hikes total. Oh, my gosh. And I am exhausted. Is it always the same trail? No, no, it's a lot of different trails. Mostly in Los Angeles, although I have done. I did one in Utah with Donny Osman, and I did one in Germany with Chelsea Handler, and I did one in a couple in the Smoky Mountains with Nate Vargazzi and Sheryl Crow. Huh. And Susan Yagley from Parks and Rec. Now, did you have to do it in Utah with Donny Osmond because he can't leave the state because he has an ankle monitor or something? You know, he's up to something, Willie. No, you know, actually, he. It was his suggestion we do it in Sundance, and when there was. It was snow on the ground, so we used snowshoes. And it's probably one of my favorite hikes because we must have fallen about half a dozen times with the camera and stuff. Neither one of us were adept, really, at snowshoeing. And then we pretended we walked to Vegas, so I edited it so we looked like we were walking over the mountains. Because he does a show in Vegas, and. Yeah, you can look at it. Look at it on YouTube. That's fun. Kevin, Neal and. Yeah. And Donnie, how many miles do you usually go on your show? 30. 30 miles. That's a long. That's a nice hike. Yeah. Right. City to city. Yeah, I do. You know, I do. I pick up a guest in, you know, different states. One guest in different states as I'm walking to the East Coast. But no, I do, like, it depends on the guest. I tell them, really, I just need you for an hour. Okay. Because it won't take up a lot of their time. And where do you live? I'll find a trail close to you. And what do you drink? What's your coffee drink? You know, I know I'm not going to get a good hike if they show up with a cup of coffee. Ah. Because they take the coffee with them. But the hikes started off really steep and as each year went by, I've been doing it for four years now. They get less and less of an incline. Next year, downhill in a car. We need a bottle. Him. You know, do you think mall walkings in your future for season five, maybe that idea. I was gonna walk with Steve Martin and he says, you know, I just can't. I mean, can, can we do Beverly Hills and just hold some bushes behind us? That's pretty good. Have a bear come out. Have you seen any wild animals on your hike? Good question. I was on a hike with somebody once and he did say that like every other question. That's a good question. That's a good question. I was hiking in one canyon once when I was doing the show Weeds and I was about halfway, about halfway up and I was studying my lines and it's early in the morning because that's when I could retain things and. Yeah. And then I heard a deep growl off to my left. I could feel it in my chest. You know, it wasn't a dog or. And I just knew it was a mountain lion. And I scurried up to the top and I waited for like an hour or so and the sun was coming up now and I knew there's other people on the trail. So I came down and you know, nothing. But the next day, I swear to you, they caught a 200 pound mountain lion right down on the, on the Sunset Boulevard at the bottom of the trail. Wow. I know. That had to be the one. Had to be. Oh, wow. So that I didn't see one. But I do see a lot of coyotes and bobcats and I saw. I actually saw a squirrel. No. Yeah. I almost stepped on it. Rattlesnakes. A lot of rattlesnakes in the summer especially. And here's a little tip for rattlesnakes. Oh, okay. Because I've run into. And then I'll let you talk a little bit. All right. I ran into a snake wrangler on one of my hikes. They're shooting some show in Malibu and he said you got to watch out for the baby rattlesnakes because they have a lot of venom and they don't know how to control it and they're just crazy, you know, and, and Also, if you. If you want to move the rattlesnake. I thought you throw, like, a rock at them. You know, they're going to move off the trail, but they feel the vibrations on the ground, so if you stomp really hard, they'll slither away. But don't get too close and stomp, you know? See, that's. That's the tricky part. Where's that line? Don't get too close. It's got to be weird, all the anim. Because you have to assume, too. They. They want an autograph, you know, they want a selfie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. They want a selfie. And. And I will usually sign. You know, if there's a. A bear, I will sign the boobs. That's nice. Did you sign my wife's boob? That's the husband bear. Yeah. That has happened to me, by the way. It's happened to you, too? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They come up and they go, what. What the hell's the meaning of this? They yank her shirt down, and I go, I. I think we're in love. It's always refreshing when they say boobs. Yeah. You don't get that often. I had a guy come up to me and say that once. Hey, would you send my boobs? But I did have a. Several times a woman came up and. And I learned not to sign boobs. Yes. Because I don't think she had permission from her boyfriend. Yeah. And I could see them later. At first, I thought she was maybe a dancer at a club or something. You know, this is fine or whatever, and. But I'll sign other people's names now. Oh, yeah. Dana Carvey signed my wife. You tell Harvey I'm looking for. All right? I sure will, buddy. Darn right. Oh, man. Yeah, it's crazy. I used to do a thing at the end of my act where I would sketch somebody from the audience. I was just gonna ask you about this because I had seen you do that, and it's. I don't want to give too much of it away. I don't do it anymore. Oh, God, it's so wonderful. Thank you. So funny. Well, what I do is I bring an easel on stage with a big pad of paper, and I'll ask someone to come up from the audience because I'm learning how to sketch. Like the people down on the boardwalk. Yeah. And she'll come up, and she'll be facing the audience. My back will be to the audience. They could see the painting of charcoal, and I'll Ask her a lot of silly questions like they do on the boardwalk. So you go to school? Oh, yeah. Okay, cool. And you're here on vacation. Okay. No matter what she says, okay, picture. And as I'm sketching it, I'm moving her face around a little bit, and I have charcoal all over my fingers, and I kind of. And by the end of the sketch, she's got almost a black face. And then I show her at the end, and the audience is dying, and I show her in the mirror and she, you know, of course she flips up. But, you know, getting back, designing the boobs, I did that once in Lake Tahoe, one of those casinos, and great show. And then this couple came up to me two different times, the Sabbath. One couple came up. They said, you know, we really enjoyed your show up until you, you know, you did that thing with my wife, the charcoal all over her face, you know, and. Oh, I said, I'm sorry. Where is she right now? I said, she's in the bathroom. She's. She. It's her birthday and she's upset. So I talked to the guy for a while until she came out, and you know how charming I am. I loosened him up a little bit. And then she came out, and by the time they left, they asked me to sign it, and they said, thank you. We really had a good time, you know. Good time. And by the way, would you sign my wife boob. We have lots more of the Bob and Tom show coming up. Next hour, comedians Alise Siddiq and Sam Miller on the way. But next, Frank Caliendo voices over Piano Man. It's a great segment. Come on back. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Hi there. I'm Nicole Khalil, host of this is Woman's Work, where together we're redefining what it means, what it looks and feels like to be doing woman's work in the world today. From boardrooms to studios kitchens to coding dens, we explore the multifaceted experiences of today's woman, confirming that the new definition is whatever feels true and right and real for you. We're torching the old playbook and writing our own rules. Who runs the world? You decide. Follow and listen to this is Wombs work, part of the Believe network on your favorite platform. Welcome back to the Best of the Bob and Tom Show. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios as we give you more great stuff today, including this one. Boy, this. This may go down in the history book of one of the greatest moments. Frank Caliendo Voicing over the song Piano man from Billy Joel. Here you go. Joining us in the studio, it's comedian FR Kelly. No, I left a while ago. He's just back after missing the. How's your waterpring? Really good. Room temperature and flat. That's what he wanted. Got some nice flat water. Now, we were talking off the air with with Patty G and Mr. Frank Gando. Oh, somebody's got a tune. And I asked Frank if he could sing and the answer is not really probably correct, but I thought if we provided you with some great song lyrics, the song Piano man, you could perhaps go through this with your various famous people doing it. And I have a random list here, so I hope this isn't unfair, but let's just, let's just try this right now with the lyrics to Piano Man. Ladies and gentlemen, it's comedian Frank Caliendo. Oh, I'm sorry, it's John C. Reilly. Oh, I think I could probably sing in this one. It's 9:00 on a Saturday. The regular crowd shuffles in. There's an old man. It's better than you thought it was gonna be, isn't it? How about this, John? How about Morgan Freeman to his tonic and gin he says, son, can you play me a member memory? I'm not really sure how it goes but it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete When I wore a younger man's clothes. How about Tracy Morgan? La da da da da da that would have been better as me. Okay, Paul Giamatti. Sing us a song. You're the piano man. Sing us a song tonight. Well, we're all in the mood for a melody and you've got us feeling all right. Adam Sandler. Ah, here we go. Janet. The party's a friend of mine we get me my drinks for free and he's quick with a joke But I light up, I smoke. But he's someplace that he'd rather be Jeff Goldblum. He says, bill, I believe this is what. It's killing me. There's a smile ran away from his face. Well, I'm sure that I could be what, a movie star? If I could get out of this place. Yeah, but John Madden. Well, speaking of Sports, Mel Kuiper Jr. Now, Paul talking about real estate novelist who never had time for a wife doing a thing. And he's talking to Davey, who's still in the Navy. You know, the fact of the matter is probably going to be for life in the waistress, you know, tremendous job talking politics the businessmen, they're slowly getting stoned. Tremendous job. Probably gonna keep them lower in the draft. Yes, and sharing a drink they call loneliness. But it's better than what? Drinking alone. Seth Rogen, sing us a song. You're the piano man, I guess. Song. Tonight. We're all in the mood for a melody. And you've got us feeling all right. I got something that makes me feel all right too. How about Al Pacino for the ending here? It's a good, pretty good crowd for a Saturday. And the manager gives me a smile. Cause he knows that it's me they've been coming to see. To forget about life for a while. And the piano, it sounds like a carnival. I thought he was gonna cut me off. So I got big and the microphone smells like beer. De Niro time. And they sit at my bar and put bread in my jar and say, man, what are you doing here? Stephen A. Smith. Oh, la da da da da da da da da. Sing us a song. You're the piano man. Sing us a song tonight. Ah, well, we're all in the moon for melody and you've got us feeling all right. Very nice. Frank Caliendo does Billy Joel, the Piano Man. Thank you very much. Yes. That was great, Frank. Oh, I feel so. Oh, you're welcome, guys. Very good. Now we return to the news desk. Sitting in for Christy, it is Jess Hooker. What's going on over there? Experts say men go through their very own version of menopause called andropause. Oh, yeah. Shouldn't it be manopause? According to study finds, andropause refers to the age related decline in male hormones resulting in depression, waning sex drive, sexual dysfunction, loss of muscle mass and tone, and increased abdominal fat. A man's gradual loss of testosterone can begin as young as the age of 35 with a loss of one to one and a half percent of total testosterone per year. By the age of 80, most male hormone levels decreased to pre puberty levels. That's very cheerful. I'm gonna get an Android and a cell phone holster. Okay? That's how old I am. I'm gonna wear a sweater vest. And do you think you'd ever do that? Get like a holster for your phone? No. Yeah. Or nor would I wear a sweater vest. What's wrong with a sweater vest? You know, he hates it. Just means you've. You've reached mano paws or whatever. Sweater vest and sweat. You don't like sweatpants either, Dude. No. Man, you're really missing the boat. No, I imagine Frank Hell, and you're probably a sweatpants guy, huh? Yeah, four or five. Yeah. I wore shorts today just to. To mix it up, but I do a lot of. I do a lot of, like, Amazon super cheap apparel, so I could just throw it out. Because you're at your house a lot, right? Yeah, too much. Do you have, like, an area you can go where your wife isn't? I used to, but now there's some of her junk in there. Slowly but surely. We've had a lot of rooms that I'm told that I've got all these places that are just mine, but I look around and it's all her stuff. So you want out. I know what you do. You need to save the house. I love it. I love it. I love it. Didn't you have a second house? Yeah. Yeah. I think that's what he's talking about. Yeah. My son's out there, though, now. No, no. Yeah, the second half. Yeah. I'm even just talking about a little office now. That's. I've moved past owning that and understanding. Yeah. Place you can go. This mano. Pause thing. This sounds kind of fake. I don't think so. I mean, I know. I don't think so at all. Been around all of you enough. Yeah. You. You. You have a certain cyclical rhythm with whatever you all. Yeah. But I think this is. I. I think menopause can be a lot more serious with. Don't you think that? A lot more. I think it belittles menopause a little bit. Yeah. I think that the symptoms of. Of menopause are more extreme. Yeah. And. Yeah. And they're. Obviously, they affect us more. All this is saying whatever the gradual. Josh, how could you say that? The gradual decline, I think is. Is. I think. Yeah. As Josh, you put it best. I think this is kind of saying, okay, we have it too. Yeah. Now let's relax, guys. But I don't think any guys are going, I'm going through menopause or animal andropause. Yeah. No, I don't think so. Yeah. I'm getting older. Yeah. At least I don't have my period anymore. That was a. Huh. Right? Josh, man. This. Yeah. No. What does menopause. Yeah. Is a real legit. Yeah. Yeah. Wreck your life. Yeah. Yeah. I've never seen a woman suddenly go, I'm gonna go get New Balance sneakers. Yeah. What does my doll have in it that helps with. I know it's Naproxen, but that's. And caffeine. Yeah. That's a painkiller. But what does it have to. I guess it does. I think it is a really good ad agency behind it. I don't really think there's anything else in there. Yeah, I think it's just. Probably helps some, but. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is one of the, like. It reminds me of those things, like, oh, I'm a chocoholic. Oh, really? You're addicted to chocohol. You. You've lost your family and your job. Yeah. I heard there's fentanyl in it now, right? Yeah. Let's keep the alcoholism analogy out of our. It is odd, please. Yeah. Although Nikki Glaser had a great joke once. If she doesn't mind me, she goes, yeah, my mom is a shopaholic. She's addicted to shopping for alcohol. Well, why did they ever put that? The suffix on alcoholic is just ick, Right. It's not a holic. A hall is part of alcohol. So it would be chocolate ick. Yeah, exactly. That's. Yeah, that's what it should be. Chocolate. I'm chocolate ick. It's like when they put gate on the end of stuff because of Watergate, the hotel has nothing to do. It's not a suffix that actually means something. So ick is the only alcohol. And if you're addicted to alcohol, it's ick. Alcohol ick. I'm a chocolate. Chocolate ick. Sugar ick. You're not a holler, but you got to hand it to them for the gate thing. Sticking around. That was pretty amazing. That's true. Was it 60 years ago, and it's still being locked on the flake gate. Tom, what are the signs of aging for you in a man? Ms. Hooker? I mean, there's certain things you see and go, okay. Yeah, I guess. I mean, I have one for me. It's just. I mean, I know women complain, too, but when guys complain, like, I just feel like that's. That's kind of old and crotchety. Yeah. Yeah. That kind of thing. Right, right, right. Yeah. Keep it to yourself. That's right. Yeah. I don't. Yeah. Like the fact that I want to get a lock for my thermostat. Does that mean I'm getting old? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. I would say you're gonna get one of those clear panel boxes that goes over it. Oh, yes. And put the little. I think they'd sell those in packs of twos with the giant sunglasses, too. Yeah. And I. Yeah. But I would need that for my new apartment. I'd have to move out. Maybe Frank and I Could become roommates. The new odd couple. It's very tough for me when Frank is in on the air with us because I always want to do the one hack thing, which is what would it be like if fill in the blank? Did fill in the blank. Irresistible. That is such a hack equation that I love. I see. That's the thing. I love it. Here's the thing, though. It's now it's hip. That is like it used to be in stand up comedy. If I did something like that, people would be like, why are you doing dude, do something original and different. And now the Internet is filled with, what if Seth Rogen worked at Chipotle? I don't know. Just throw some rice in there. Right? Who doesn't love that? Yes. That's the thing. I know. I just love that. You want white rice or brown rice? Now you gotta choose a meat. You want the smoked ham? We don't even have that, but I've got some in the back. We have lots more on the way. Next, the big man, comedian Sam Miller. You don't want to miss it. It's coming up next. This is the Bob and Tom Show. You met Lala Kent on Vanderpump Rules. Now Lala and her friends share everything on Give them Lala Bagel. Everybody says I say that weird. It is ruined by a proposal story. How Jason proposed and she was like, he brought in a bunch of bagels. I was like, I have to stop. I will punch you in the throat if you ever tell this story again and call it a. Let me tell you now, when I tell the story, I go, he went and got breakfast. There you go. Bagels. Yeah. Watch what Lala is talking about on YouTube or search for Give them Lala wherever you listen. This is the Bob and Tom show. And welcome back. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Here's the big guy, comedian Sam Miller. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. At the news desk, it's Jess Hooker. Hello. There's Pat Godwin. And in the performance room. Hey, Chick. Josh Arnold is here at the sidekick chair. Hi, Checkster. There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick McGee. And here's Tom Griswold with our very special guest. Well, thank you very much. We are joined in the studio by comedian Sam Miller. If you. How do I word this? You can't see Sam. Sam is a man of a certain size. Unless you're watching YouTube. A big fella. You can see him on the YouTube. That's right, the Bob and Tom. YouTube channel. How tall are you, Sam? I am six foot six. I am three hundred and sixty pounds, three hundred and seventy right now. Oh, okay. Yeah. But I've been doing cardio. Yes. Yeah. And it's working. It's just my legs are bigger. My middle is the same size. Sure. You gained some of that muscle. You. Yeah, yeah. It's. It's good to see you. And now, by way of background, you are. Now, you're a married man, is this correct? Very married. Very married. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'm really good at being married. It's really easy. I'm not into that. A lot of people are into the poly stuff. Polygon. Like a throuple, Tom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Three people. No, thanks. Thruffle. No, no, no, no. Yeah. I have a hard time with math, so I just. One on one, baby. That's what I'm looking for. No zone defense. Right. Stay focused. Focused on. No, no. But that's great to be back. Thank you for having us. We'll check in with you in a matter of moments. I want to get a couple quick news headlines sitting in. As you can see, for Christy Lee, it's just hooker. Looking good today, Jess. Thanks, Tom. There was some implication that I was saying, suggesting you had a lot of work done to your house, not to you. Right, right, right. Yeah. Work on our place. There we go. Now, yesterday, we had a fascinating story about a guy that had a ruler tattooed on his finger. Yes, we did. He must have been a carpenter or something. There's a navyman, wasn't he? Yes, he worked on the ships. Navyman. Yeah. Navyman. Is that what they call. Absolutely. Seaman. Okay. Oh, they like to be called navum. Oh. So he. But I thought it was interesting he was able to be handy if you were a carpenter. Don't you think people with tattoos are just generally filthy. Filthy, filthy people. Right. I don't trust. I noticed that you have a tattoo of an AK on your right arm. Is that it? Yeah, that was a mistake. I tell you, I hate tattoos and I hate them. Who wear them. A chick has. I'm showing you. I got this gun tattoo to look tough, and then after I got sober, I got a job at a preschool, and they. They made me wear a sock on my arm. Like Mick Foley. Yeah. And the kids would. The kids would be like, what's wrong with your arm? And I was like, I got a boo boo. Oh, you should have totally turned that into a puppet. That would have. Yeah. And it's a. There's a hand Grenade as well there. Yeah, Yeah. I used to have, like, a temper. Yeah. That let people know. Yeah, yeah. What about the fish? What's on the other arm? Well, I wanted the other arm to be chill because the balance I can't see Daisy. Okay. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Looks like a big, big fish. And now, have you gotten any tattoos since you're. Yeah. Well, publicized sobriety. I got. Yeah, I got the seagull on my. My new ones that I got. Since I've been on the show. I got a se. Seagull on my knee. Okay. Because I have a joke I used to do about how when I got sober, there was a rumor going around that I was eating seagull eggs, but it's not true. I never ate seagull eggs. That's a rumor. Okay. And I also just got the Capitol Theater sign from Olympia, Washington. And that's the theater that I woke up in front of On June 10, 2008, my last day homeless. And also where I recorded my debut comedy album. How cool is that? Same theater. So now where's that one? That's in Olympia, Washington. No, no, no. I also got the tattoo in Olympia. And no, it's on my leg. And it's still, like, it's still healing. It's still. It still hurts a little bit. Boy, that's a. That's a Netflix movie waiting to happen, right? Yeah, yeah, I'm still waiting for the call. You woke up homeless on the street in your own vomit? No, no, no, no. I have no idea. I'm making this movie. Was. Could have been his, I guess. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. I mean, like, didn't Jimi Hendrix die joking on his own, but he didn't wake up? Yeah. Yeah. Then no wonder. It wouldn't be such a good movie, would. No, I. I woke up under a tarp with a homeless lady. We were doing tarp stuff. Oh, I'm not gonna go into details. Hey, Pat, you like the tarps? I was gonna say you don't have to be homeless to do tarp stuff. Yeah, you could do blanket stuff. Know, I always tell folks, like, I was homeless, too, so it wasn't that weird at all. Right. It would have been weird if I woke up with, like, a middle class lady. Oh, yeah. Or vice versa, if. If you were out wondering for tarps and weren't. Yeah. Some preppy frat guys. Well, you know, banging a homeless babe at the front of the gutter. You know how this works. You know how this show works. You know when you say like that it's not as hot as. No, you really kill. You know, there's some housewife out there right now. That's her thing, is banging a homeless guy. Yes. She just has her husband dress up like that. Yeah, I doubt it. Better possible. No. You know, it's out there. I guarantee you. Well, how long were you homeless, Sam? It was. It's complicated because I lived in a barn for a while. Okay. But I guess that sounds nice. Well, it's still technically homeless. Was anyone aware that you were living in the bar? Yeah, because they didn't want me in the house. House. Oh, right. They were like, go to the barn. I was like. Like, Jesus. Like, what a deal. Did you sleep in the hay or. No, there wasn't any hay in the barn. No, I was. I was upstairs. You know what's weird? This is a weird thing I used to do is I had a carpenter's pencil and I would write, like, math equations on the ceiling, but I don't know anything about math. Okay. I just wanted the next person that lived in the barn to think that the other person who lived there was really smart. Will Hunting? Yeah. No, no, no. Up there. I watched that Beautiful Mind movie. I was like, maybe I'm secretly a genius. Wow, that's. Well, didn't Patrick Swayze and Roadhouse sort of live in a bar? They're in good company. Before, they were popular. But while you were without. What do they. What do they call it now? Temporarily unhoused? No, it's. Yes. That's their. Houseless. They're not homeless. Oh, okay. Yeah. Temporarily unhoused, I believe, is the current. I used to work at a shelter, and I get why they use those terms, because, like, if you're like, oh, that person's homeless. And, like, that's. That's. There's a lot of different types of homeless folks. A lot of reason people get homeless, so I get it. But also, I don't care what people call. Well, Right. I'm technically homeless because I don't live in an RV, so. Right. You could be RVless. Oh, I'm yachtless. Yes. I'm trailerless. So you're trying to put a positive spin on it Right now I feel we're being classless. No, I think tasteless. Yes. Yeah, same. Were you ever hit on by, like, what. What Tom was asking about, like, a. A housewife. I would go home with women. Yeah. Like, because. Because, you know. Did they know that you were gonna stay? Yeah, I tried. Every dog has his day. Sure. You know, but Usually I date these women, and it'd take them, like, a week and a half, and they'd be like, I've never seen his place. And it's like, actually, have we just drove by? That's my box. Yeah. In a way, I have more homes than you. Yes. So did you. How did you clean your clothes? You know. God, I can't believe I'm gonna talk about this, but I used to just wear overalls. Like, I had this one summer, all I wore was overalls and football cleats, and I would just jump in the lake, like, my whole self, and I. Okay, yeah. Did you say football cleats? Yeah. I was a good football player in high school, and I went to my mom's house because I wore out my shoes, and all I could find was offensive lineman cleats, and I wore them until they became regular shoes. Like the cleats. You wore off the cleats. That is efficient. Yeah, because cleats don't really give that kind of traction on asphalt. No, I throw in the field. Yeah, I bet. So you found women that found a shirtless guy wearing overalls with a lot of BO and cleats they wanted to take, and he was temporarily uncle. Yeah. I think they thought I was an artist. That's true. There you go. They were like. Or they hated their dad. I don't know. You know, either way, it worked out. Probably. It's a win. Win. Sam Miller is our guest. And I brought up the tattoo thing because I. Yeah, you have some prominent tattoos, but Ms. Hooker has actually had a couple of tattoos removed. Yeah. And they. They were in. Well, they were on your fingers. They were on my fingers, yeah. In college, I thought it would be funny to get a Fu Manchu tattooed on both of my fingers. In other words, she's got a big line in the fingers. You can't see it anymore. I had them removed. You hold them up your mouth. Show them how you do it. You do this. That's awesome. Yeah. I mean, it would have been equally effective if I would have just had a Sharpie and drew them on there. But on the occasion of a fun party. Right? Yeah. So, yeah, I had those. That was the first tattoo. And you did have. But you had them. Technically, they were removed. Removed, yeah. Do you mind if I ask what that cost? That one was, like, I want to say, like, 12, $1500. What? Yeah. And right now I'm in the middle of having a sleeve removed, so. So that's gonna be thousands. Not cheap. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. No, no, Those Those tattoos are cheap. That's why you're getting them really, really hot. Okay. Now, Sam, has anyone ever offered to. Would you want to get the. Whatever. Do you have sword gun removed to. No. I don't know. It's a good reminder of, like, kind of like the person I was and who I was trying to be and who I'm not anymore and who I am. And also, like, I don't. If anybody ever wants to be. And I think, Jake, you'll understand, like, if anybody ever wants to be, like, oh, I don't like that. Because he's got tattoos. It's like, all right, man. Peace out, dude. Yeah. Like. Yeah, that's not a positive. Yeah, sure. But you had. You had the sense not to put any on your face. Yeah. Yeah. That's an unfortunate trend I keep seeing. Yeah. I don't know, man. The world keeps moving forward. I don't think that's really. No, but you really have to find. You were a hunt to find a tattoo artist who would put something on your face. Oh, some of them don't do it. Some of them. Absolutely. And they. They don't. They have standards. They really, like, interview you if you want to have a name anywhere. Yeah, they're really careful about that, too. Yeah. I had a friend of mine who went to prison in Northern California, and this was before face tattoos were a thing, and he came back and his whole face was tattooed, and I remember seeing him and just being like. And gasping. Yeah. But now I see it. Yeah. I see it quite a lot. Post Malone is going to popularize. He got the tattoo in prison. Yeah, I think so. I think so. Yeah. And I don't know. I'm not gonna get any tattoos on my face. I got a good. I got a cool, cool phase. Yeah. Yeah. And I. My body's gonna be what it's gonna be, so I should probably really focus on. What'd you say you're six, six feet. What is it? Six, six. And I'm 370 right now. I always say 360, but I'm 370. But I go. I went to the doctor. My blood pressure is good. It's not good, but it's. It's. It's safe. Yeah. Yes. You have a lot of tattooable real estate, if you will, on your body. Yeah, yeah. Vast amounts of flu. I got a joke about that, about big women. Women. And I love big women, and it's nice because they got more room for tattoos, you know, larger canvas. Is your. Is your wife a woman of A certain size she is, and I love it. Yeah. Sam has told us many. He loves the bigger women. She. She rules. She's large. I like big women. That's what I'm into. I've always been romantic, too. You know, I like to make a little bath. Like the. Draw a bath, but you don't put too much water in there. Sure. With the big ladies. I know. This is our comed rule. Yeah, right. Yeah, sure. That's right. There you go. Is that our comedian? Yeah. He was way ahead of his time. Yeah. He was bathing big, beautiful women. Yeah. And he learned. Yeah, he learned. A lot of people learn that rule when they're doing that turkey thing with the deep fryer and they put. They put the oil in, and then they put the turkey in, and the oil catches the house on fire because there's too much. That's Archimedes right there. You said your wife is also a. A large lady to be kind. What. How do you like to describe her? Rubeness? Beautiful. Beautiful or Reuben zest? Yeah, she's beautiful. I call her beautiful and amazing. And I miss her. And I can't wait to get back home. Yes. Good for you. I'm being complimented. No, you're not. That's the thing. Anytime you say to be kind, it's the meanest part of the sentence. Usually. You haven't said chunkles yet. Yeah, that. But you have. No, I was. Because he was saying that she was a large gal, so she had more room for tattoos. Yeah. I appreciate you having. Having my back. Well, he'd have her back, but it's too big. Tom scares me on some levels. On some levels, not at all. You jokingly said that. Kick his ass, Sam. Kick his ass. Your wife. Your wife has a lot of room for tattoos. Yeah, she's beautiful. So what does she. So I. My. I'm trying to get the subject, but Josh keeps interrupting me. Okay. What kind of tattoos does she have? She's got all kinds of stuff, man. My favorite tattoo she has is of a. Like a pinup girl, like, nursing. And she got that after our first son was born. Oh, that's sweet. Yeah, it's really cool. And she's got a lot of stuff. She's got a Gilda Radner tattoo. Nice. A portrait of Gilda. It's. It's kind of like a. They have, like, the $13 on the 13th. You know about this? On Friday the 13th. A lot of tattoo shops, they run these. They do, yeah. And you get to pick one of the ones that they post Right, Yeah, yeah. And she picked the Gilda Radner, by the way, on a very sad note, Joe Flaherty died. Yes. Yeah, I saw that. The great SCTV actor. But, yeah, so see the guy? He was in Happy Gilmore. Yeah. Jackass. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was on Freaks and Geeks. What was. He did the fake late night host on sctv. Just Count Floyd. Really hilarious. And. Yeah, who else? I'm trying to think of the other. It was also Guy Caballero. There you go. He was the general manager of sctv. Very funny. He was in a wheelchair but didn't need it. Yeah, yeah. He'd hop out of the wheelchair when he got mad. Very, very nice. No, we're gonna be there, I guess. No, we're acknowledging. Look, it's just hooker over there. Here I am. You ever see a Linda Ronstadt album from about 1979? I got my hair cut and there's lots of feathering and bangs and I think you look great. I think it's fun. Thanks. I like it, too. I like it. I know it's not necessarily popular, but I'm very much. Thank you. I'm a great guy because I love all haircuts. Oh, yeah. That's a good lesson to. Yeah, yeah. I don't. It's. It's really. I hate most. I think the. The current fashion for men. I can't stand with the shave side. Guys look like they're poodles. Ridiculous. They're in the Hitler youth. Well, you're gonna hate this. I'm this close to getting a pixie cut. Just, just. Who hates that? I know Tom does. Oh, I didn't. I don't know that I. Heterosexual men. Anybody else? No way, man. Like a pixie. Real cute. Yeah, I think they're me. And hear what you say. But before you say it or you just blurt it out. Sorry. Han and I are both on that list. Yes, Han. Yeah, he is. Keep, don't, don't. Don't give yourself the butch haircut, ladies, unless you're. You know, I love women with really short hair from. Because I had the hots for Sigourney Weaver and aliens. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I also like girls that fight aliens. Yeah. So maybe it's that. Super hot. There you go. Okay, well, I'm sorry. So, so sorry. So you're going to get a. You're going to get the old laptop. I like, every 10 years, I just chop it all off. And we're. We're coming to that time. Okay. Yeah. How short? Like Just a pixie. It's. It's short. She's not gonna go. Goes with a Gozerian. Yeah, no, I'm not. I mean, it's. It's not gonna be a buzz cut or anything. There's gonna be a style. Could we vote? Could we have, like, a no audience participation thing? I don't think so. No, I really, I don't. Fine. Fine. Are you gonna ever admit how preoccupied you are with hair and haircuts because you're bald? Does that. Does that enter into this conversation? Has Sam Senior sideburns, though. I. I don't think you. You. You do a service. Tom's significant other is out of town, and when she's gone, he doesn't have to shave his sideburns. He looks like Millard Fillmore. It looks like those little kid hats that you tie at the bottom. I would consider that an insult if it weren't an insult. No, don't cut your hair. Your hair looks great. Do whatever you want, Jess. Thanks, John. You can do whatever you want. Do you want to have a job here? No, no, no, no, no, no. What's the worst thing that's going to happen? You get fired. Boy, oh, boy, what a blessing. No more therapy. We have a lot more coming here on this 26th of December. On the way in just a few minutes, comedian Alice Siddiq. That's next on the Bob and Tom Show. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Here is a segment with comedian Ali City. Josh Arnold is here. Ace Cosby there. I'm Chick McGee. Here's Tom Griswold with our special guest today. Thank you very much. Brew's gotten significantly more handsome. Handsome, handsome every day. I know it's handsome every day. Ace, we see you. Comedian Ali Siddiq has joined us in the studio. How are you, Ali? I am doing slightly well. Oh, good. Slightly. Because I'm. I'm trying to see is this window place in Houston? Because I just bought a used house. Secondhand house. You bought a used house? Good for you. Yeah, it was built in 1934, so it's definitely used before I got it. Yeah. I gotta change out all the windows. Yeah. You got any ghosts in that place? I don't know yet. Oh, you haven't moved in? I. No, I ripped. Stripped it down to the beams. It. It had to be. It had asbestos all in it. So I'm just redoing the whole. The whole thing. But we need windows. Okay, good. Well, I can have 13 windows I need. And you say you buy two and get two. It's hard to believe it. I'm like, I'm just counting my head. Buy it two and get two. Yeah, but if you got 13, you're SOL. I just have one window left. Playing in the kitchen every now. And Ali and I, we, I, I, Ali, I went into the green room and at least got some friends with him. But I, I noticed that we have a lot in common. Like what? We're both wearing the same brand of shoe. Is that right? Yeah. Oh, God, these are the best shoes. Yeah. Now, I would not get. I wouldn't. I couldn't. Awful. Awful. I'd wear the. Wear a pair of Crocs. Well, you wear them Crocs, your feet gonna be terrible. Terrible. Classic. Classic standard. Classic. First issue Air Force One. Kiss my ass. That's not the first issue. Moses Malone got the first issue. That's why they celebrated the Air Force One. They celebrated with Moses Malone on the shoe. That is a horrible shoe for your arch. I don't have an arch. I'm a fat guy. I meant to say copy when I was talking about Air Force One. Now, see, Ali, you've got. These are. What are these called? Ocs. Now, my, my trainer friend Jonathan got me to get these. It sounds like Jonathan might be pretty important the way that you're speaking about him. I saw your lights. I. Jonathan, it's like at last. Do your kids call him Uncle? Jonathan comes over. I could talk about Jonathan on the. Daddy John is. He's like my. He's like my long lost son. He's great guy. Late life. I've seen that. But he told me to get these because I'm doing some special stuff. But see, I run. Give me some popcorn. You got, you got the kind of. Can I see him again, please? Oh, Jonathan, you. So you got the. I could not pull the. Off the yellow ones. Why not? Are you kidding? Look n. I got these, these slick blue and black ones, not a natural fiber. I have some white ones, some white ones. No difference between that and the container that you're eating. Only I think those have more plastic in them than the pretzel container. I can't pull off the yellow ones. I looked. I don't know. I think everybody can pull off the yellow. I don't think I can. I. We'll try. Ask John if Jonathan. Okay. I bet Jonathan is rocking the yellow one. But yeah, the cool thing about Jonathan is at this. It's a, this little gym I go to. He. Yeah. It's a boutique gym. It is. There's two of them I go to. One of them is like regular with lots of people. The other one is. The other one I go to where you and Jonathan can just be. It's restricted. No, but they trust me. There's usually only two or three other people. And there's one of the other trainers likes hardcore rap, which you might realize. I don't even get it. A lot of cursing. I don't get it. Yeah, a lot of cursing. But. But sometimes they'll play classic rock. So I've gotta. I've gotta train. John, what's happening here? No, it's okay. Jonathan. Yeah, yeah. No, Stan, he'll go, what's this? And I'll go, that's Cream with Eric Clapper, Captain. Oh. Oh, okay. His nipples get hard. Yeah, no, I like his beard. Ali Sadiq is our guest. Ali, are you a workout guy? Do you. Yes. You are? Okay, good. Just pull ups dips box every day. Classics. I like dips. You like dips. Josh, what's your favorite French onion? I'm a Seven Layer man. Oh, yeah? Yeah, that Seven Layer disc. So, Ali, when you're on the road. I know that. I was just on the road a couple weeks ago and the hotel. The hotel had. The hotel had a great gym. These hotels, it's unpleasant. Now, when you go on the road, does Jonathan go? I knew Jonathan. Can. Can help you work out when you're on the road. Of course. We train in. In the. In the hotel gym. Now we have to go down to the gym. They have a gym, I checked. Now are you. Do you go down to the gym? No, no, no. I just do in my room push ups and stuff in my room. You touch the floor of a hotel room? No, you know, you towel down. Okay, I'm just asking. But you touch the gym. The gym, they all have the. They have the wipes and the whole deal. Sure. No one uses those wipes. I've never. I've never seen anybody use those. I do. No, I. Before I touch before and after I touch those machines, I'm wiping them off. He wipes down his area every day? Yeah, he does. Only he touches it still. Would you like some wipes? I have some here. I'm pretty cool on the wipes. I don't like hotel gyms at all. It's never enough stuff in there. That's the sanitizer left over from COVID That's something in a warehouse. It's jugs and jugs and jugs of that. Oh, save it for me, baby. Do you think it goes bad and they'll never tell you? Like, I don't know, sanitizing, like a year ago. I remember they said it would go bad. Oh, that's B.S. you know that most of those dates on food are just completely fraudulent. You can keep eating the ketchup. Calm down. Drink the milk. Well, ketchup for sure. Yes. You bought a new ketchup. It says it expires in 3011. Yeah. Except for milk and avocados. As. As Jim Gaffigan said, the avocados go bad before you leave the store. So you're a workout guy, Ellie. You do the push ups and you're fit? Yeah, yeah. You said you box? Yeah. Wow. That's avid box. Did you get hit in the face? I've had. I've been hit in the face before, yes. Well, fire. Fire that trainer. Are you saying you want. You want to hit me in the face? The thing about boxing, you're gonna get hit in the face. Yeah. I mean, that's kind of. You gotta. It's about, isn't it? You gotta learn now to get hit in the face. You know, who gets upset. It's not what it's about. You're supposed to hit people and not get hit. But sometimes you're gonna get hit. The other person is a little quicker. Yeah. Jonathan drinks. I don't hit him in the face. And sometimes you get a little cocky and you. You feeling yourself and you decide to get in there with somebody that already has on headgear. Yeah. And you don't recognize that they already somebody. There's a guy named Todd Manuel that I. That just. He was getting ready to fight Victor Ortiz. Keys. I walked in the gym one day on one, and Todd looked at me and I'm like, what's up? I didn't know it was Todd because he had on headgear. And then I got in the ring with him, I'm like, yo, let's go. And I noticed that it was Todd after I was already in the ring. It's no getting out now. Okay. Chicken out now. Oh, man, Todd, it was bad. You see the difference in the levels. Like, he was like, yo, yo, I fight, but Todd fight, fights. Like, it's like. It was different. Yeah. Yeah. It was so different. And I've done that like three times. I've gotten in the ring with pros, and I looked good for the first maybe 45 seconds. And then it goes terrible. It's like, oh, this is what you actually Do. Did you say this hurts? Oh, no, it definitely hurt. You can't say it. You just go home and then they don't see you back in the gym in two days. They're like, yeah, he's licking his wound now. Lee, are you gonna watch that Mike Tyson fight? I definitely gonna watch that Mike Tyson. Oh, yeah. Have you seen Mike train? Yeah, I saw the video. It is crazy. I'm like. And. And that his trainer should get a lot of money. His trainer is. I've. I've done pack work for somebody. I wouldn't do it for Mike Tyson. It's like he's in a fight. It's like Mike. Mike looks like he just snaps and it's like he forget that he's supposed to be training. Oh, no. Jay Paul is going to get destroyed. That's why. That's why I want to watch. I can't wait. I wish we could get a lot of other influencers, like maybe one of the Kardashians in there. Have them beat to hell. July chick. Yeah, July. Mr. Tyson has been in here. Cowboys at and T Stadium. Have you met Mike? Have you met Mr. I would love to be on Mike's. I've never met Mike. He was really nice. He's a sweet little guy. A little guy. He's a little. Yeah, he's shorter than you think. Hands are as big as a dude. Her plate. Unbelievable. I've never met him, but I was in a club with him one time, and everybody knew Mike was in there. They like, yo, Mike Tyson's in the back. And so when he walked by, he. He. You saying little, but his back is. He's not. Okay. He's little. Like Earl Campbell. Like, Earl Campbell is little, but he's Earl Campbell. That's the thing. The first thing you notice about Mike is his back and how. His back. When you meet him, the first thing you want to comment on is his lisp. Just, he's. He's a he. What? Nothing. I'm cool. What is wrong with you, Kuji? Rap. Rap. When Mike was in, it was the first thing he said is, I've got this lisp. Remember? He said. We all know that wasn't the first thing he said. It was because he called you a. And I, everybody, we lost our minds. No, he said, because you're pushing it. And it sounded like. It sounded like you said, you're a pussy, Tom. And then he corrected. Because he's a gentleman. He corrected himself. Okay. I don't know why. More great stuff coming up on this Thursday morning, Josh's fancy pen and more with Saturday Night Live's Kevin Nealon. But next, Reno Colliers coming up. This is the Bob and Tom Show. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios. Hope you're having a nice long holiday week here. We've got best of stuff coming for the next week and a half, so hope you join us. Here's a segment with Reno Collier and Country Fried Take. What story don't you want to do? You know, I don't know. There's a whole bunch of great stories here. You've done the human skin on the book? Yeah. Oh, I found out who that was, too. Oh, they know who it is. Well, they don't. It was owned by a physician, and he apparently took the skin from a deceased female patient. Anonymous. And put it on this book. And they're trying to figure out who this woman was. They don't know. The. The book cover is literally made of human skin. Yes. Yikes. Yeah. Yep. Wow. It was owned by a doctor in France back in the 1800s. I guess that was a thing in the 1800s. This isn't the only book that was bound with skin. Yeah, it happened a couple times. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not making that up. The famed Necronomicon, which may or may not be real. So look at the dead. So in those days, Skin magazine was a skin magazine. I just wanted the beaver hunt. Officer, I swear to God I didn't. If you're just joining us, there was a book in the Harvard library for many, many years. They didn't realize that it was bound in skin. Actually, they did, but they just know. Yeah, they're. They're removing it and they're going. They're trying to figure out who this woman was. And they're going to do proper burial or whatever. Yeah, they're gonna try to do it right. They're goodwill hunting. Goodwill hunting. Goodwill. That's actually amusing. Thank you. That's what I go for. You can check me out at all my shows. I am amusing. Referential to Harvard and the movie, but very good to be particularly good if we're in writing. And one, we're maybe riding alone on a plane. You could kind of chuckle. Wouldn't bother anybody else next to you. What are you. What are you chuckling about? Oh, Goodwill hunting. You see, they're hunting for some. Which story did Christy not want to do? I'm Chick McGee. This is the Bob and Tom Show. And now the news. Ms. Abby Hensel. A Conjoined twin with Brittany Hensel is now married. Oh, twins Abby and Brittany first gained notoriety on the Oprah Winfrey show in 1996 and later with their TLC reality series. They are dicephalus conjoined twins, sharing a bloodstream and all organs below the waist. According to Today.com, the go to for doctors everywhere, the women have since become teachers in their native Minnesota. They recently shared that Abby tied the knot with Josh Bolling. Really? Which is what he'll be doing every night. From a nurse and United States army veteran in 2021. Abby controls their right arm and legal. And Brittany controls the left. No kidding. Yeah. But he's only considered married to the one married to Abby. Yes. You know, Christy, I didn't need to see the photo. I want to see it. How does it work? Abby is the married one. Yeah. Hey, you know, easy text. Easy text. I'm trying to read over here. Yeah. Wait a minute. Abby's on the left, right? Is she on the right or left? Well, Abby. It said Abby controls their right arm. Okay. Abby's on the right. Okay. And is it legal to be married married to just the one? Unless you're, like, in Utah, where I guess. See, I knew that. A menagerie. I knew this is where this was going to go. Well, no, but I didn't want to do this. It sounds like they're. They're very. They're absolutely okay with this. And Abby is married and Brittany is not exactly. But wouldn't you have to come to some kind of agreement? So Brittany go. I don't want to be married today. And I think they would. Yeah, there is some kind of agreement for sure. Sure. Yes. I think the worst part of being a conjoined twin would be pooping in front of someone else. Oh, God. In this case, they both go out of the same. Yeah. And they each. There's only one. Yeah. You know something? You're right. Christy is. There's no point. You know what I say? Congratulations. Yeah. Well done. If you can find happiness, have at it. There you go. You know, so do you think the one that's not married. Brittany. She looks away. And Josh. I don't think so. Have marital bed. I think all three of them enjoy it. You don't think they fight. That's the only way they kind of can do this is if all three are in agreement. We got to get Oprah doing the in agreement here. So do they. Look, this reminds me of another topic. Reno. We had this discussion the other day because there was A woman in the news who has effectively two vaginas inside. It looks okay on the outside. It looks like one entrance once you get in. Okay. Judgment here. Yeah. So it's like there's the. And then off to the side is the second. Another one. And there's another one. Yeah. And she has two wounds, and she's like a. Choose your own adventure book. Yeah. So then the question came up. Then this question came up. What if. Would you go out with a woman that had four breasts? And where would you want those? And then would you want them as. As, like, like on a die or vertical or like a traffic signal? Or would you want them. Yes. Right. Running vertically, which I think that would be weird. I like two in the front. That would be weird. The whole thing. That's a new one. That's a new configuration. There's two in the back. You can enjoy them even in doggies. Right. And when you're dancing and reverse cowgirl. Oh, yeah. When you're dancing, it's perfect. You just like. These are all very freakish, especially like when you remember when you're in school and they're like, they lift your hand. Like, you can't touch there. Your hands up. Whatever. If girls had boobs on their back. Yeah. Then it would all be. You could feel room for the Holy Spirit. It Brino. I know. I'm just saying. I, I. So I, I'm gonna say on your back. Yeah. The, the. The woman with the two cervixes, of course, is now she's on Only Fans. On Only Fans. Her name is Annie. Charlotte. Making a bank, by the way. If you didn't know she had two, you would not know looking at her vulvas. Yeah. But you still wouldn't know. Know, kind of. I don't think you know till you get in there. Right. But you know that on Only fan. Are they. Do they do that on Only Fans? Like, they're. Oh, I don't know that they. I don't think they have an optically correct. Yeah. So I could be. I could say that I have two. Oh, my God. You know what I mean? You know, you can't say that some places. I don't know. I don't know if it's okay to say it on the radio. Good God. You know, this woman with a. We're losing all our friends. She reminds me of a car that needs repaired. You're not gonna know what. What's going on until you get in there. Yeah. You're gonna have to. You're gonna have to take a look at it. Okay, well, I'm sorry. So enough of the. Hey, here's a happy story. Okay. Go aheadsitani. Phil, the spring predicting groundhog from Pennsylvania and his wife have become parents. Really? Phil's married? I didn't know he was married. Apparently Phyllis recently gave birth to two healthy babies. According to the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club, the group that handles Phil did not give names for either one, but said the baby groundhogs are the couple's first children. They're known as ground piglets. Now. I know that the beavers. Are they. How closely are they related to groundhogs? They must be. They've gotta be. Tails are different. A year old. I think you. You are kicked out of the den. Den, if you will. That's. That's true. Isn't that the Angry Beavers cartoon show? That's what they based it on. A club member, Norville and Daggett had to leave and they didn't want to leave. A club member discovered the baby Saturday when he came to feed their parents fruit and vegetables. Surprise. Oh. They didn't even know she was pregnant. They've been doing the devil's business. So apparently Puxitoni Phil doesn't always come out of his hole regardless of the is weather prediction. That's kind of sweet. It is very sweet. Little baby groundhog. And I bet they'll continue on the tradition. They'll. They'll be the new. Yeah. Yeah. Dynasty. I'm trying to find a picture of this little critter. Hopefully they had a boy to take on the dad's lineage. You're saying they had. They had two of them? Right? What are they called? Baby groundhogs. Brown piglets. I told you. Is it piglet? Piglet Boy. Doesn't ground piglet sound good with some eggs? Kind of like a veal thing, but for pork. And you make some toast and then. Yeah. By the way, Reno, the guy that thought of the name Veal. Yeah. Good move. Yeah. More baby cow parmesan. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to be eating. Eating this little. Didn't let this little critter even live a good life. I don't. I don't want to eat more cow. Kids. You don't eat veal. I don't eat baby carrots either. I don't want. I wanted to have a full life and volunteer to be eaten. It's very silly, really. I heard someone say, like, I don't eat anything with a face. And I was like, I don't need anything that doesn't have an ass. This goes back to your double butt booty ho. Okay. An ostrich was captured after it escaped from a zoo in South Korea. Reuters reports the male ostrich named Tadori broke free from a zoo named Bug City in Sionam. Oh, is that. That doesn't sound like a good zoo. Yeah, it sounds like dirty animals. Bug City. Yes. Made its way onto a business. Sounds like you're driving on a freeway and you're about to enter a different state. Don't. Please don't leave until you stop at Bug City. See the caverns and the ostrich covered in bugs. You know that sounds like a place we'd start. Diggity. Bug City. You know they have a conjoined joined cricket only at Pub City. There are. There are two headed snake in West Virginia. Oh yeah, absolutely. Said local fire department captured the ostrich in a parking lot about a mile and a half from the zoo. Tadori was returned safe and is in stable condition. Okay. Ostriches are really fast though, right? Yeah, like 50, 60 miles an hour or something. Really? I know, it's crazy. There was a whole cartoon about it, I think. A fast ostrich. No. What was? Roadrunner. Roadrunner, that's right. Yeah. Totally different. Thoroughly different. Thoroughly look like an ostrich. Distinctly different. Couldn't be more raw. There was something that was worse. They only have one anus. To keep the theme going. I had my Tom Griswold moment thinking that everything in cartoons was like real, like Tom does. When I moved to New Mexico and saw my first real roadrunner. Real short. Yes. Look at anything like the cartoon? No, they don't. It's called poetic license. In Canada, turkey survived a collision with a semi. Ontario provincial police said the wild bird crashed through the truck on Highway 3 near Kingsville. Both the driver and turkey managed to evade injury. Whoa. Photos show the passenger side of the windshield smashed into confused turkeys in his next to the driver's. What the hell? After the collision. What's going on? I didn't know turkeys could fly. To a certain extent. Yeah, a little bit. I saw two of them flying over a road the other day. Oh, really? Yeah. I mean they're not very high up. They fly, they spread out. You should look at the picture of this. It looks horrendous the way the windows punched. Does the turkey look. What? How does it describe the turkey looking disoriented? What is it? What did I say? I think near death. Confused. Confused? Yeah. I'm glad that the driver and the turkey are getting along now. They were able to jive. Jive turkey. Can I bring back jive turkey? That was as good a phrase as anything. That was. I always felt truly damned when someone referred to me as a jive turkey. Ooh, the slings and arrows. That really was out there and used quite often. I can't imagine. Jive turkey. Turkey or jive time Sucker. That was a good one. There's an Ohio Player song called Jive Turkey. I must. Absolutely. We'll have to dig that up. We have played this is the most damaged turkey. You've seen the picture. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. See, look at that window. Look at that windshield. This is the most damage a turkey's done since the Ottoman Empire. That's the not the same kind of. Or how would it be better than God? You're doing the heady stuff since they went into Armenia. Is that better? All right. I bet there was a time you couldn't do that show. Oh, yeah. Today would be the answer to your. No doubt about it. Bob hated turkey. Coming up in just a few minutes. It's another segment with Saturday Night Live alumnus Kevin Nealon. Want to stick around for it? This is the Bob and Tom Show. More of the Bob and Tom show now on this Thursday morning. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. We have another segment here with Saturday Night Live alumnus Kevin Nean. We're all here with our special guest, Kevin Nealon. The Kevin Neal. Listen to that crowd reacting. Kevin Ne. What was the first concert you ever went to? Me, I like to ask people that question. Black Oak, Arkansas. JoJo Gunn and Bad Guy Company. Ah. And Bad Company opened. So it was 72. 72, 73, something like that. How about you guys? I saw ELTON John in 75. 76. Yeah, that's awesome. The Steve Miller Band. It was the Wide river tour. Remember, like 92 or something. That wasn't Josh is Young. It was awesome. Abracadabra day. Was it? No. He didn't even play that. No. Thank God. Okay, Willie. Oh, well, if you think Josh's answer is young, the first concert I've got a pick to go to was the Strokes. Awesome concert. Right? The first concert I ever went to was with my older sister. We saw the Spice Girls. All right. Oh. Didn't love as much at the time. Tell me what you want. Jackson 5 and Harold Mailman. Harold Melton and Blue Notes. Wow. Nice one. Nice one. Mine was a trifecta. A like Tom. Mine was. And you probably never heard of some of these people. Edgar Winter. Sure, sure. He had that show called. That hit called Frankenstein. Frankenstein and the band. Yes, sure. And I don't know if you heard of these guys, the Eagles. They were all in one show. They're all in one show. That's amazing. In San Diego, I saw General Giant. Yes. And Peter Frampton in the summer of 77. And I was like, whoa, what is. And Peter Frampton opened for. Yes. Wow. How about you, pet? A Starland vocal band. 77. Billy Joel, Paramount Theater, Wilkesbury. Penny, you have 79. Oh, that's cool. That is crazy. Yeah, that's. How many fights you get in. Three. Three. Wilkes, Barry. Yeah, it's a tough town. I don't know if you been there. Can Billy throw a punch? Yes, he can, actually. He was a former boxer. That's right. He was. Yeah. What album is that where he has boxing gloves on the back? Glass houses. Is it Maybe. I don't know. Josh, you're the Billy Joel expert. What. What album is that? I. I believe it's Joel. Joel the Musical Man. It was a second. Some say a sophomore slump. I don't agree. Joel, down. When did you start drawing characters? Well, I started drawing characters when I was a kid, but it was very, you know, primitive way of drawing it. I wouldn't even finish them, and they were quick. And. And I. I would draw, you know, a lot of different things, too, like landscapes and. And on snl, I would draw, like, on the margin of the script when we were doing the table read. If I wasn't in a sketch, I would just kind of draw whoever's across from me when there's Farley or, you know, whoever. And. But then as I. I kind of got older, I used to also. Here's where I got my real education for drawing caricatures. My mother and father were each. I had a framed painting of them in my bedroom room from a Parisian artist who was a really good caricature artist. And it was pastels. And every night I realized subconsciously I would be looking at those and just studying how they exaggerated the different, you know, traits of them. And so that was really my big education. And then when the pandemic came along, I. Did you guys go through the pandemic? We did have that here. Yeah. It got to us. Yeah. They test marketed it somewhere else, but eventually, Columbus. Columbus, Ohio, I left town until it blew over. Then I came back. You're lucky. We had to sit right here. So then also, I went on Instagram and I saw a lot of different characters work. And I was just blown away. I thought, wow, there's other people that are doing this, and they're really good. So, like, standup comedy, I was influenced by some of them. And, you know, when you first start out, you don't really have your own style. Like with stand up. When I was starting Stand up, everybody in the clubs, they were doing this is back in the 1900s. Of course, this is. They were doing Woody Allen and Richard Pryor and Steve Martin and. And there weren't that many comics either. There was, like, a handful of such a novelty thing back then. And now, of course, everybody does stand up comedy. Right. And there's so many comedy clubs, and it's not such a novelty thing anymore. I think the audience kind of knows. They know stand up comedy, and they. Everybody has their own favorite comedian. Some of them you never heard of before. And. And I think everybody probably. Well, I don't want to generalize, but a lot of people have been to comedy clubs now, and they know the whole brick wall, and it's. It's not that scary for them. People are sitting in the front row now. That's how. Yes. They used to be. Don't sit up front. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now they want to sit on stage. I said, no, no, that's too close. Yeah. Willie knows what I'm talking about. Right there in the splash zone. They want to be close. That's right. What do you got over there on the news desk? Christy? Maybe Kevin can weigh in on one of these stories. He used to do this. I know. I'm embarrassed. No, there were. There was a lot of bad news where I came from. Well, I. I'm going to go on record to say I don't write this. Okay. Just so you know, they took that away from me years ago. I'm sorry. Liam Neeson set to star in a Naked Gun reboot. Oh. He'll play the bumbling police detective Drebin in the role made famous by Leslie Nielsen. Frank Drebin. It just says Drebin here. I told you. I wonder if he'll play Frank Drebin or if it'll be like a son or, oh, maybe a brother we never heard of. Right. It's coming out in July of 2025. Plenty of time to spend because he's always in those movies like Taken. He's got to get his daughter back. And this is. This is the spoof on what? The sequel. So he's got to get his gun back or something. Yeah. Put some clothes on it. What's it doing out there naked? Sexy, though. Sexy guy people. You know there are people who find guns sexy, right? Of course they do. Yeah. Yeah. I know a girl who thought the most sexy thing was being with a guy in bed with a gun hanging over the headboard. Wow. She's no longer with us. Yeah, you hit that headboard too hard. Yeah, that's is rough. Remember the Sopranos? Richie and Janice? And she. Oh, that's really dark. Yeah. She said Richie holds a gun too much. She goes, I'd make him take the clip out. That's really, really all right. Isn't it romantic? However she got his though. Okay. On a much lighter note, candy companies are trying to find new ways to get you to chew gum again. I guess there's a problem. Are gum chewers down? Gum sales drop chick by nearly a third in 2020. Oh, my pandemic. Wow. Yeah. Do you know in Singapore, I think it is, they don't allow gum chewing. Yeah, it's illegal. Yeah. You won't find one piece of gum on the sidewalk. Well, good for that. Yeah. Also the cane people though too. Yeah. Yeah. That was a big. And not with sugar cane. No. Should we introduce caning here? You think some things. What would you cane somebody for? Breaking into a car. Oh, okay. So light offenses like not putting the shopping cart back in the corral. Well, wait a minute. That's pretty serious. That might be worth one swipe in the. Yeah, that's a. But do you put them back? I do. Yes. Yeah. I am very good. I do too. Look at me. All right. How many do you have in your collection? Oh, my God. I got. I got one from every different grocery store in my town. Oh, yeah? Yeah. You know who's got the best carts? Publix. Publix. Oh, from Florida. So does Target, I think. Target, they got the big plastic ones. I like the ones at Aldi. They're great. They only cost a quarter too. The high tech ones that have brakes on it. You can't. That. That nailed me at a Kroger. It went to us. It came to a certain hole. What? I went, what the hell is this? They have like a low jack. I've never seen this before. No, I've never seen that. And the guy goes, oh, we forgot to disengage that. Or whatever. It's an anti theft thing where the wheels just stop working. That's right outside of a certain area. I don't like this at the airports is they charge you like $6 for those carts for your luggage. And if you don't do that, then you got to get a porter. And that's why I go carry on now. Yeah, that's smart. It's very smart. Chrissy, I like the way you did the Liam Neeson thing. And then the next one was. And on a lighter note, well, you guys were talking about guns on people's heads, having sex. Kevin, you did mention a woman being killed. Okay, okay. Yeah. That was you. We got a little hot. We got a little hot. Yeah. Anyway. Apparently, anyway is a third down. Sales in dollars are back to pre pandemic levels, but that's due to inflation. Mars, which owns the 133 year old Wrigley brand, is repositioning gum as a stress reliever. Isn't that rather than a breath freshener? I'm the only Mars owns Wrigley. Isn't that wild? Think about that. There's got to be some antitrust issues. They got to take a couple. What is your favorite candy bar? I gotta go. I gotta go. Snickers. Snickers is hard to beat. Yeah. I like a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. As I say, Reesy, Peanut butter cup. Well, that's all the uneducated. I like the ones where I don't like the cups. I like the Reese's in different shapes, like. Like a Christmas tree or a pumpkin. Don't you love it when you bite into something you don't know there's peanut butter in there and then you hit it and you go, oh, have you had the Reese's Peanut Butter and caramel? No. No. It's very. Oh, I know what your third choice is besides Snickers and Reese, Reesy, is KitKat. Oh, I like KitKat. I like Kit Kat. I'll eat a Kit Kat. I thought maybe I don't know you as well. I like a Kit Kat. KitKats are great because you could just. You don't have to eat the whole thing. You can break off little columns. Come on, spirits. I eat one. One section a day. A day. And they make fun of me. A KitKat lasts her a whole week, Kevin, you can't abide. Tom, here's my problem. I don't know if anybody's on board with this, but I am such a fan. I'm not sponsoring them or promoting them. It's the. The double chocolate Milano cookies. I'll get a bag of those and they'll be eaten by the time I get to the cash register. And if not, I'll put them home in the freezer and I'll dunk them in milk. And I love. I love that. That's a good choice. I don't think they're. I don't think they're. Did you eat all the Milano cookies? I don't think they're. That's shoplifting. If you eat them before you get to the register. No, no, they're not. You know, once you go out the door, then that's a fine. Is that a Pepperidge farm? Yeah, it is. Pepperidge farms remembers. But I do think you should be cane for that. If you take them outside. Yes. You can't get cane for that. Is there a Pepperidge farms? Can we go see. See the fields of mulatto? What are we doing? Is there a hidden valley? Is that what we're. Great stinks. Are there Pepperidge farmers? They're growing the little chess pieces. What's your favorite girl scout cookie? I'm gonna go. You know what? I'm a very vanilla man. Trefoils. The shortbreads. I just like those shortbreads. And I. Oh, yeah. This is very fat. Why do they go to such trouble to make a cookie and they arrive at a trefoil. No, they're good. I stack them in a glass and I just pour milk in the glass. Very fat thing to do. Oh, and you scoop them out. Well, now, Wayne him. I call it an Orson Wells cereal. Thomas, I know you like. I think I know you. You like the peanut butter ones. Thank you, Kevin, but I'm chicken. Yeah, you don't know him too well. His name's ch. Tom. Where's Tom? I'm just kidding. Tom's. You look like a Tom. He does a lot of people. And you look like you're in control of the whole show. Trying to fill in, but. Is my face red? No, no. Don't worry. You totally saved it, though. Willie, what about you? I do like. I like the tag alongs and Josh. I'll get a. The peanut butter Girl scout is the answer. Is that tag along. I knew it. Do si doe. Yeah, you knew it. You know, you do know me, but I get tagged something. I get Reese's puffs, and then I break up the tag alongs and I put them in the Reese's puffs. It's just a big peanut butter chocolate cereal delight. But I was at the grocery store. There were the girls selling the girl scout cookies out front, and I go, hey, ladies, do you have any tag alongs? And they go, oh, no. We just ran out. And I see ya. And I just didn't support the girl scouts. I'm still embarrassed about it. Hey guys, you have any tag alongs? That would be me. Where's your car? Where are we going? Where are we going? The Nabisco mansion is for sale. Did you hear about this Nabisco mansion? Do you know about it? In St. Louis? Cuz it's in St. Louis, Missouri. I'm not aware of it. Yeah. According to riverfront times, the house was built in 1906 for Mr. Lewis Dozer, president of what would become the Nabisco Company. Nickname was Bull. Yeah. 13,000 square foot property features 24 rooms, an in ground swimming pool and a medieval style ballroom. Medieval? Medieval torture racks. Yeah, medieval. The homes. You ought to see how he spilled that. By the way. The home's current owners purchased the mansion in 1996 and have since restored it. It's listed at just under $2 million. And you're not familiar with it. It's not far from Pepper's farm and the Keebler tree. Tom, have you been there? Nabisco has a house, but Keebler only has a dumb tree, right? Elves don't need a whole mansion. Yeah, that's true. Oh my God. Thank you. I forgot about Keebler. Yeah, Keebler elf. What are the ones with the stripes on them? They make that cookie with a fudge. Fudge Stripes, Yes. Yeah, that's not a bad thing. Do you like the stripes? You ever put nine or ten fudge striped cookies in a glass of milk, Josh. And spoon them out, that is. No, I'm not that fat. I put them in ice cream. Josh, that's the best idea I've ever heard. To take a stack of those and pour some milk. You put them in a bowl or just glass a very nice. And then when you get to the bottom, do you drink the rest of the milk? Of course I do. Do you do that with Lorna Dunes too? Lorna Dun. I didn't. I didn't know we had the royalty. Excuse me. Who the hell is Laura D? She makes a nice shortbread cookie. Who can afford a la? Get an extra job for a Lorna, dude. Oh boy. We got a Rockefeller over here. That explains that car in the parking lot. Nobody mentioned Oreos. I mean that's. They nailed it, didn't they? That's okay. Yeah. And I'll do the same with Oreos stack. You won't spit them open and lick it on. I don't. I don't split them. No, no. I think that they're perfect as the same. Yeah, I've never done that, Yeah, I see that. Like a Golden Oreo or do you stick with. I don't. I want the chocolate. Yes. You like Golden Oreo because you think they cost more. That's exactly why. You think they're better than us. You like the chocolate covered Oreos? I, I have had the white chocolate covered Oreos. One of my ex girlfriend of mine loved those. Those make your teeth hurt, don't they? Man, they are very, very. Now, Josh, where do you stand on the double stuff? I'm a traditional stuffed man, but nothing wrong with double stuffed. Where do you stand on the deep fried? Because they do deep fry, those things. I have had them. Yeah. Have you, Kevin? Have you? No, I'm trying to cut down on. Well, how deep? At least seven and a half feet. Seven and a half. Because the air and the grease. Yes. Something really happens chemically there that I don't know if I came up with this or some other comic did. If you get a deep fish, you know, you know, what do they call them? Like a deep sea as a pet? Do you have to get a really deep aquarium? Yeah, yeah. They can't live six feet. They, they won't. They'll die on you. That's a big backyard. It gets really dark. They like the water pressure. Makes them feel. Yeah, you're right. There must be some difference for them. Being hugged. I kind of ran out of. I wondered why you didn't want to get tired. I did get tired and I, I, I was not committed to the. Yeah, yeah. I like it when people give up on a story. You know, they start saying, you know, I was. This is the craziest thing. I was coming home from work yesterday and I got to this traffic light. Oh, this is just too long. Coming up in just a few minutes, we're going to hear all about Josh's fancy pen. Plus Chick's robe and ladders. Should be educational. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Q95. A round of golf, body shots, Ice cold beer Ballpark rides Cuban cigars, Oktoberfest. I've tried it all but so sex is the best A big thick steak A Harley ride A video games whizzing outside Happy hour in Budapest I've tried it all but sex is the best but sex but sex Sex is the best but sex but sex Sex is the best Done it all from east to west but sex but sex Sex is the best Spring breakdown in Mexico Tequila worm A donkey show Fake ID no arrest I've tried it all but sex is the best but sex But Sex, sex is the best but sex but sex sex is the best Done it all from east to west but sex, but sex, sex the best Got drunk in pamphoma Running moves with a bunch of dicks Froze my ass on their wrist I spent a lot of cash, cash to get some kids Bungee jump a mountain climb on a Paris street I kicked a m that felt good I must confess I've tried it all but sex is the best but sex, but sex, sex is the best but sex, but sex, sex the best I've done it all from Mr. West but sex, but sex, sex is the best Got strong on safari hunting bush with stupid pricks Lot of my ass in Vegas Spend a lot of cash to get some k But sex, but sex but sex but sex butt sex, sex is the best I done it all from me to west Butt sex, but sex but sex is the back now with more the Bob and Tom show. Welcome. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Let's hear a little bit about Josh's fancy pen. Plus chick's robe and ladders. There's Josh Arnold jster. Josh, do me a favor. Pick up that feathered pen and act like you're writing something. Yes, yes, absolutely. Oh, something very official. That's right. Oh, very. Yes. Yeah. Dip, my dear. Has been two weeks since I last saw the. My mother has died of consumption. I have a question. Why would you lick an ink pen? Someday I'll be. That was kind of a joke there. Oh. Oh, I see. Did you have to link. Link. Lick the ones. The feather pins. Yes. No, no. Dip them in the. Yeah, I dipped them in ink. Right. They were quite. Quite messy. Right. Oh, well, you can get the whole thing reconstruct. I mean, you can buy an accurate representation of the whole thing. Like the inkwell and the. Oh, really? And the pins and the lever to suck the ink up into the thing. I just got an ink pen. Tell me all about it. And don't leave anything out. Has little cartridges in it. Oh, the old school way. Yeah. Well, that's not. That's the old school ways. The ink well and sucking it out. Yeah. Does it have that metal spoon, pointy spoon type thing sticks into the cartridge? Yeah, it's kind of. It sort of makes you take. Take writing a little more seriously. Sure. And something. Some pins are really expensive. They are. They are very nice. No, I remember I had a girlfriend. Yeah. How much was it? She had to have a mont blanc and it was like over 100 bucks. Yeah. I love all that. Break up with her fancy ballpoint. Christy. I use that thing all the time that you got. The embosser. Yeah, that embosser. You can emboss letters and then I some. When I taught in Korea, my students got me this thing where you melt like the wax, and then it has your stamp. Yes. Ceiling wax. Yes. Oh, and I got bad news. The robe did not come in this weekend. I'm very upset. Oh, wow. However, it's supposed to be there today. Now, this is not the movie the robe. This is a. Is there a movie? Sean Connery? Is that. Is that a Jesus movie? It's a Christian. Christian movie. There's a famous movie. You never heard it? Saw the robe. I'm. Wow. Someone's going to hell trying to remember. I know. Ten Commandments. Remember that era when they made all those biblical movies? Sure. Samson and Delilah, CB DeMille and the first ten commandments. But now you. You ordered a robe. What was the sign? What was the. I'm sorry, what was the distinguishing characteristic of this row? I wanted it. It's mine. And I was going to spend my entire weekend in my room. Fabric. The color. It was the buffalo plaid bread and black check wool robe from the nice people at Pendleton. And I'm gonna wear it everywhere. And you purchased this. This is not some kind of influencer thing. Look at Chick McGee showing a little. This Pendleton robe. I did pay money for it. That's right. I just want to make it clear. And I'm going to the grocery store and I'm going to the drugstore and all the places. I'm not going to take the robe. I might come in here in the robe. I have to see that. I haven't decided. Nice. What do you think of that? We could have robe day. We could all wear a robe. A nice robe from the Pajama Gram people. Red. Christy gave me a robe 20 years ago. Where I went. It's probably in storage somewhere. All right. Ace had. Do you saw that KISS robe? Yeah, the red one. That was cool. KISS logo, their flames on it. Yeah. They were playing at the Forum in la, and they gave each bamboo, remember, a robe. But the promoter didn't know Ace was not in the band anymore, so they gave it days. Paul gave me Ace's rope. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Can you bring that in? Sure. It's really nice to see that. When you decided to name yourself Ace, did. Can you honestly say it had nothing to do with kiss? Yeah. Okay. I had this discussion with Paul one night. What do you name yourself after? I'm Got drug addictions. Everyone has an opinion. The togetherness of a rock and roll bear. My name came from a teacher in high school. He said I was so smart. You're an ace, all right. I'm sure it did. It sounds exactly like what happened. If that were the case, somebody in this room would be named Ass. Might be me. Me. Let's go around the room here. Josh. Deuce. Do you own a robe? No, I don't. I don't currently own a robe. I don't either. You don't know. You don't have any pajamas either, do you? I have a nice ugg robe too. Yeah, I. I do have some pajamas. Pajama Day. Yeah. Like they do in school when you get. Kids get to wear their pajamas. I don't have pajamas either. Never mind. They're no fun. Chick. I have Charlie Brown Christmas pajamas. So I only wear them around that time. Kids. When I. When I have the kids over. Around in the neighborhood. Yes. Wow. Come on, kids. Tripod set up in the basement. Charlie Brown night. It's the Great Pumpkin. Charlie Brown. Come on, take a look. I mentioned the movie the Robe, which starred Victor Mature, of course. Yeah, of course. Richard Burton. Michael Rennie. Remember Michael Rennie? From what? Narada? Nick2 Klaatu or whatever it was. Absolutely. Very good. Good. Very good. The Day the Earth Stood Still. Yeah. You never saw the movie the Robe, Christie? It's one of those. I probably did because I was real into those kind of movies back in the day. Yeah, it's an old one I like. Did you see the sequel? I did not. What was it? The Slippers. I knew. It's a great film. Oh, that was good, too. Yeah, it was very good. We are all just a device so he can deliver a Hope for Punchline, aren't we? You don't really want to talk with us. No. Oh, I want to see your robe. Well, it's not here yet. Yeah, I remember as a kid. Yeah. All those movies like that, I. I could never stand any of them. They're rough. They're just so off. Richard Burton in the Robe. Oh, there's some good ones. Like what? Greatest Story Ever Told is real good. Ten Commandments is amazing. Yeah. Then hers. Great. Seen the Ten Commandments. Bed her was the one. Didn't dozens of horses die in the making of that? It sure seems like it, man. They didn't really have. I'm. I'm going to say 100. Yeah, I know. Animal rights. I'm not convinced there weren't a couple chariot racers well, you want to be in show business or not? Shut up and wheel over here and. Okay. Well, I hope your robe comes today. You hope so too, Tom. Thank you. Right. It's supposed to be here today. That's what it says. Yeah. Now you. Can you judge the size of this online? Are you gonna. The sleeve is going to be the right line? I. I don't know. It's a crapshoot. I don't know, Taylor. I've got a good one. No, I. I'm not going to. I don't use a tailor, and I'm sure as hell not going to tailor a robe like you would, you lunatic. I don't wear a robe. You. You tailor jeans and they end up all of them being too short. Short. I don't know why you do that. The jeans you're wearing right now are 2 inches too short. I can see your calf. Well, it's ridiculous. I'll find that sexy. Yeah. Sexy calves. I didn't know that. Oh, I doubt that very much. I'm just playing along. Now. This robe. Yes, the robe. Yes. Do you have a plan? You a plan? What do you mean? When you unbox it, are you going to put it on with your clothes on? Are you going to go shed your clothes? I. I can't tell. I. I don't know if you know this about me, but I really don't plan anything. I just. I'll just see where the day takes me. Are you going to hold it up to your face? See how the colors look? With your current complexion, You're. You're an autumn, right? I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know what I am, Tom. Okay, sir, I could tell that. You want to talk about it anymore? No, no, no. These are all. I'm glad. These are all interesting questions. Now, the. You. There was talk of you selling your old robe to the highest bidder. Yeah. I felt kind of bad about that, though, because I'm going to keep the money if I sell it. And that's. Why would you ever feel bad about that? Yeah. Why would a capitalist society assume that? Why not donate it to somebody? I don't see there is high quality charity for your. Or more in robe portions. How about that? Portions of the pro. Proceeds will go like, you know, 10 bucks. 10 cents. That's a portion. That's a portion. Damn right it's a portion. We'll get people motivated. Yeah. You. You know, you can make money doing things and then give to charity. See, you know, that's that's what I do. You don't have to say everything. Did you see that? That'll get people motivated. He. He talks to me about this robe for 20 minutes, and I decide to dive back in. And now he's out. If you came in here, you're a walking, talking turd, and it's. If you came in and wore it with nothing else on all morning, then auctioned it off. Oh, is this. Oh. Oh, is this. This is also my favorite part. He's trying to dazzle me with his superior intellect by getting me to come in here without anything on under my rope. Oh, I could talk him into that. Hang on a second. My brain is giant. Go ahead, try. Okay. It'd be fun. Be fun. What, me sitting here with nothing but a robe on? Yeah. No, I don't think so. Oh, sure. Your hand would disappear underneath the counter occasionally. Yes, I would. I would have to masturbate. No, no, I'm not magic. But just tap it to say hello. Okay, well, we can move on now. We'll enter the world. We can move on now. I was laughing a little bit yesterday. I had a slat of siding kind of fall a little bit on the outside of my house, and I showed a picture of Tata. I go, yeah, I got a. He goes, do you have a laugh ladder? And I was like, yeah, yeah. But then yesterday, for whatever reason I was thinking about, and I was like, the man doesn't think I have a ladder. No, I told you this. He doesn't think we live in real houses. We are nothing to him but scenery. That's absolutely what we are wondering if you could do a climb up on that baby. Okay, I see. You were setting me up, making fun of him. No, I don't want him to get hurt. I don't want him to get hurt. He is a bully. Yes, he is. And if you do get hurt, he wants to be there so he can see it. Watch this. Hey, Pat, do you have a ladder? I live in an apartment complex. No. Okay. No need for one. Have you ever owned a ladder? Me? Yeah. Let me think. I don't think so. He doesn't know what stain is. Why would you ask him? I was using my. One of my ladders over the weekend. Weekend for what? The battery ran out on my automatic garage door thing outside the garage. You know, you pump the code in when the battery runs out. You have to recode it. Yeah. You need a ladder for. Yeah, you have to climb up and press the button so that it mem. You've got 30 on the garage door. And I realized how many times does that happen a day? Your house is not even a year old. Yeah. How's that happen? Happen? The battery ran out. Yeah. But honestly, that should not have happened. No. So you got the same battery for years. You got ever ready. You got energizer. You got the coppertop battery. What's that? Duracell. Duracell, yeah. And what do you got? Don's batteries. What do you got over there? I think this is the one that came with the unit. Those are the ones they make in in a south Southeast Asian country I've never heard of. You know, the one that probably made by some. We're coming right back. Back with more of the Bob and Tom show coming up next hour, it's Al Jackson and comedian Ali Siddiq. But next, Jeff Oskay teaches Chick about chicken here on the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom, glad you're back with us here on this Thursday morning. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. And this is the best of the Bob and Tom Show. Hope you're having a good day week here so far. In this segment, our staffer, comedian Jeff Oscar teaches Chick about chicken. We're all here, Christy and Josh Ace. I'm Chick. Here's Tom. They see what I do is I. That was quite the tease. I try to get them off. I try to get him confused and off his office every. Don't we have a special guest by special use mean, you know. Oh, okay, okay. Very good. Comedian Reno Collier has joined us in the studio. Nice. Yeah, about that nice visit. And Reno is a distinguished standup comedian and he'll be distinguishingly standing up this evening at the Brown County Playhouse. And then tomorrow, have to get a hold of how you speak tomorrow, the Redmore Event House in Cincinnati. Tickets@the redmore.com and the more part of that is Moo. Yes, yes, yes. Thank you for spelling. Why did you say Red Moore and then we don't know Red me. You know what? Is anybody else noticing you're not saying zero, you're saying zero, which is incorrect. That is zero. That is because I am emphasizing the word by deliberately mispronouncing it. Really? Yes. For example, your criticism has zero effect on my life. He is co worker of the year right there. Now, I have made a special request. Prior to this break, we were discussing your wanting to have a chicken, not just one. You want chickens? I'm bringing Jeff Oscar from our staff, our staff comedian Jeff Oscar. And he's going to tell you about chickens because you had a chicken coop. Talk to me, Jeff. What's going on with the chicken coop? All right, chick, so you're gonna get an egg a day per chicken. Okay. All right, so it's just him. So how many eggs do you eat a day? 17, 18. Oh, really? Okay. It's like Rocky at my house, but all right. Yeah. Okay. I made the mistake. I got 10 hen. 10 hen. Because it rhymed. That's just what was offered to me. Oh, okay. All right. Because I like you. I went on Facebook one one night drunk, and I was like, hey, I want some. I want some backyard chickens. Right. And five minutes later, I had 10 free hen offered to me, which is what should tip you off. Yeah, because that's the cheap part. You can get the hens super cheap. You can go to tractor support. Yeah, they're all over. Put five in your pocket, walk out. Mabel at the front isn't checking pockets. Yeah. How big are these hands when you get them? Little babies, little chicks. They have the chicks at tractors. I mean, couldn't you just eat them? Oh, yeah, they could go in there and look at. Yeah, they're all over the place. How do you know the baby chicks are girl chicks? They have vaginas. Yeah, you gotta sex them. You hold them up. That's the hardest part about eating chicks apart. So you get the. They're. They're female chicks. Yeah, they. They have already sorted them at supposedly. They've already sorted them. How can they tell? Well, is that a genitalia? About three weeks later, you tell when one of them is a rooster, but. So you're getting 10 egg a day. Okay, that's too many eggs. That's too many. Remember, he was bringing them in there for. I went to my doctor. I finally had to stop. My cholesterol got up to 14,000. 10 egg a day. 10 eggs a day and. Okay, so you need a coop. Okay. I've got. I already have a building. I just have to clear it out. I think it's big enough for a coop. Okay. You got to buy heaters. Heaters? Yeah. You can't get cold heaters. You got to get power out there. Then y. Building. We got. We already got power now. What kind of a Florida. Don't they poop everywhere? Yes, they do get bedding. It's a wooden floor. Oh, that's bad. Wooden floor is going to soak up the urine. No. Yeah, you definitely. You want to put a tray in the bottom with. With your. What do you call it? Like, sawdust? Cedar chips. And you don't want them walking around on concrete. Then you're also going to need like a door opener and closer at night to let your chickens in and out. That's automated. I was about $14,000 into my backyard. Check. When do the coyotes come at night? Well, how did they get out of the coop if the coyote. You forgot to put it back in. The raccoons are pretty crafty at getting into the coops. They have gums. I told you that. Did the raccoons eat the eggs or the chickens? They eat both. And I had like a fence, you know, like a picket fence. And one of the raccoons pulled the rooster halfway through the fence and ate its ass on one side and its head off the other and just left the carcass. Which, by the way, if you have children. If you have children, not how they want to find their pet in the morning. Yeah. You're like. So you need an AR too. Yeah. Featherfoot, Feather. You need an ar, an ak. That's what you need. So at least a bump stock. Now, the other thing I learned, when you. When you bury your dead mold chicken. Yeah. You're gonna want to go two feet down because they will come back for leftovers the next night. Wouldn't you dig it back up and finish it off. Cold chicken the next day is awesome. The fox is. Now, where was that chicken place we just went to the other day? Yeah. Jeff. You never think a guy named Jeff be that good at making chicken. So did you finally just have to get rid of the whole thing? They. They slowly got. I. I was trapping raccoons and driving them down to this car auction place and letting them go. But after my 15th raccoon, I just gave up and they just slowly depleted my flock. Another thing that happened. Hawks will come down when they're out during the day. They will pick the chicken up, fly about 200ft in the air and drop the chicken so that when it hits the ground, it kills it and then it comes down. Just feast. No, no. Well, what the hawks are doing is that that experiment we used to have to do in science class where you put something, an egg in something and drop it. They why? Let's eliminate the middleman. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you. So have we talked you out of getting a chicken coop for your house? I am. I am not frustrated by this. I think I'm still going to do it. Now. I'm going to say the eggs are the best eggs you'll ever have. Yeah. Yeah, right. Delicious. And if you do get them. You can keep them out fresh from your. You can leave them out on the counter for, like a month and a half. Oh, really? Once you refrigerate them or wash them them, it takes a membrane off the outside of the egg. And so once it's washed, you have to put it in a fridge. Gotcha. And all the ones here in America have been washed, and that's why they're refrigerated. When you cook your eggs, do you ever take a piece of toast and cut out the middle part? Wait, what is this? Sounds delicious. Wait a minute. That used to be our mission statement on the Right now. Yeah. We say hello to Reno Collier, a man who has had chickens. And we say hello to Christy Lee at the news desk. Did you have chickens? No. He told us. No. I was trying to make a segue. These people don't know. It doesn't give them the benefit of the. You've got this kind of hillbilly vibe. People. People assume that you have village vibe. People assume that you have chickens and call yourself a hillbilly. And an ak. I'm probably a hillbilly. Yeah. Yeah, probably. When's the last time you were sitting on your porch with a piece of straw in your mouth? Piece of straw. I sat on the porch yesterday. There you go. No straw. Did you have some lemonade? Sweet. Sweet tea. Sweet tea. See, I'm what you call an urban hillbilly because I will sit on my porch. It's not a straw in my mouth. It's the stir stick from Starbucks. So I'm doing hillbilly things. Yeah. Watching John Travolta movies. I really am kind of an urban hillbilly. Like, I will set. I will buy, like, $600 worth of fireworks. You do like, but I have $600 to spend on fire. You didn't steal them. Yeah, yeah. Or trade them for meth. Yeah, there's plenty of hillbilly in me. Yeah. You know, my thing goes off in your backyard. No, he lights them off on my backyard, where my concrete is still marred from the last time. Yes. You should come over here. There's plenty of room. Oh, there you go. I got shooed away. Oh, you did? Yeah. There's a surly engineer that works here. Christy, what else are you going to. Well, for the first time in history, timekeepers may have to consider subtracting a second from our clocks to catch up with the Earth's rotation. According to a new study, clocks may have skipped. They have to skip a second, called a negative leap. Second in around 2029 because the planet is rotating a bit faster than it used to. Interesting that this happened because I never even knew that something so flat could rotate like that. And apparently, I guess it's like a record on an album. No, the space people figured it out when they filmed the moon landing at Disney. Oh, right. Remember that? And they could see. They were like, hey, the clock's off. So will this be a big event? No. The study lead author, Duncan Agnew said, quote, it's not a huge change in the Earth's rotation that's going to lead to some catastrophe or anything, but it is something notable that they may have to do so. Duncan Agnew, Tom. Yes, Spiros Sparrow's boy. Great, great, great, Grand. Yeah, that's. I mean, that's fascinating that they know. So in, in what, in seven years, they're going to take one second off the clock. Apparently nobody would have noticed. It's gonna throw. They could have kept doing any house. Yeah, they could have been like, you know what I mean? Oh, no, there's all kinds of. This is like Y2K all over again. It's gonna throw the computers on. No, Y2K all over again. Is this Eclipse, man, ain't that. Ain't that the truth? April 8th. Everybody set your watch. I can only imagine we live in an area. That's got to be why we're hearing something the rest of the country is going to gives up. Yeah, that's big news. Well, I. You know what? I've been proven wrong. What are you gonna do? Are we gonna do anything special that we should watch the clips together and get our. We can broadcast live comments. It'll be in the afternoon Eastern time. Yeah, I'm not available, but you guys could go ahead. Is this one. You're not out here in the parking lot and have a party and has it started yet? Is this one you're not supposed to look at? Yeah, yeah, yeah. For that long. You have to have special glasses. I remember when I was a kid, we had had one and everybody ran out of school and they let us look at it with a little shoebox with the little pinhole in it. They had to make a special from the thing. You poke it. Yeah. And we looked at it, but I don't. I don't know what the difference between a good one and a bad one is. This is. In certain parts of North America, it will be in total eclipse. Total darkness, briefly. Got you. It's not going to be total dark, but you can look at It. But they tell you not to look at this one. You can. I don't want you staring at the sun. You can wear special glasses. Glasses and you can look at it. It's going to look like early evening and then a lot of optometrists and ophthalmologists are going to have specials the following day. Yeah. Come on by, see if we can restore your vision. Is that what you think is going to night time? Yes. It's not gonna be night time. It will be for a four minute. No, it won't. Yeah. How long does the actual eclipse last? 17 seconds. Well, imagine, imagine a frisbee going in front of a basketball. I mean it takes a while. What I'm saying, like y promo on one of the local stations. TV station 1 to 4 live. Well, no, they're going to be. There's going to be a build up. Yeah, yeah. There are a number of all across certain spots of North America. I think the Cleveland Indians are doing a special thing for the eclipse. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. It'll be fun. The eclipse will start at approximately 1:45pm Eastern Time, Eastern Daylight Time and end about 4:30pm There you go. Oh, it's gonna be a while. When the hell is this again? April 8th. But there's something called totality. Yes. Which means, for example, you're watching it move. Yeah. Chick dislikes your joke of the day in totality. I never said that. And he's right. I'm warming. Really? He doesn't want to go blind. We are coming right back with another segment with comedian Ali Sadiq next on the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show on this Thursday morning. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Here is yet another segment with comedian Ali Siddiq. Mr. Ali Siddiq has joined us in the studio. Ali, it's always a pleasure to see you. Thank you very much for joining us. Thank you, man. We're gonna check in with some more news. We have a special feature coming coming up in about 10 minutes. But right now it's Christy Lee over there. We were done with our sleep study. Oh, go ahead. 40% of those who sleep separately from their partner believe it's rejuvenated their relationship. 25 believe it has also improved their sex life with their partner by sleeping in separate beds. Yes. Yeah. And that was your technique, Mr. Sadiq. No, it was. It was the cheekiest underwear from Victoria's Secrets that improved. There you go. Who's wearing it? She's wearing a little piece of meat hanging out on the side. Always. Good. I feel like I need to jump in here. In the last legal entanglement I was involved in, the beginning of the end was, hey, let's get separate bedrooms. Okay. Here I am trying not to walk out into traffic. Yeah, that's right. What other. Tom, how's your day going? Our lives don't really add up in this world because we get up so early. I don't. I've been in a. A fine relationship where we slept all night together. I never slept better in my life. So you. You don't know what. From whence you talk? No, no. I'm just saying I think. I think I know what you're saying. I'm saying we have a different situation. We can't sneak around in the morning. We can't turn on lights. We gotta. Yeah, no, I don't think so. I do. I. I do disagree. I can't wake up the dogs in the morning or I'm my life. Well, that's why you don't. You don't have somewhere to put the dogs. It's not my fault. You have like over there and. Pardon me, where do your dogs sleep? And if the answer is wherever they want, you're not doing a service. No, no, no. They have dogs. They have their own little area and they're very good, but they're away from you. Yeah, but the larger point is you don't want to wake them up. How do you not wake up a dog? Know. I creep around. It's amazing. I could be a second story man. Even if you creep. How Reese is looking right at you. Creeping my dogs this morning. They never moved. And I was right. I mean they're on our bed and they just like. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no dogs. Respondents who said they have young children or a pet admitted they would rather sleep with their child and. Or their pet than they would their partner. Well, that's just. They're having an affair. Obviously. They just. They don't like their partner. Obviously. That's. That's a big. That's a bigger problem. The only time a lady that lives in my house sleeps in the children's room or with them kids is. Is she's mad at me. That is it. Other than that I know what she mad like. Oh so. Or maybe. Maybe one sick or something. Maybe one sick. Did not. She doesn't kick you out of the bed how she. She. She house like. I don't. I don't. I don't know who runs your house Neanderthal. Remember that? The aforementioned lady that lives in my house, she runs the house. I am the last caveman. Do you understand me? Like, don't. It. It doesn't move unless I say move. Once I'm there now, whatever's going on now that I'm not there, they do. They're running a muck. It's like. It's like the revolution that started, but then I get back back intact. Oh, okay. I'm Muammar Gaddafi in my house. Well, Colonel, nice to see you. Really. I wonder if any of this is true. I'm getting. We're a little concerned. So the survey. There's a word in here that I thought was pretty funny that I was not familiar with, but I understand what it means. What? The most common reasons for sleep disruption. Yeah, we have a lot of those. Read the last one first. Starfishing across the bed. You know what that is? I figured it out. Starfishing means you're spreading out. Yeah. Spread eagles. Yes. Hogging up the whole bed. That's what my dog does. That's how sex happens. Is that how it happens? Your feet touch me. It's on. It's on. Like I. I can't wait. That's an invitation. Yarn. And listen, I. I don't know. Meanwhile, she's over there sleeping, terrified. I can't make a move. And I'm so tired. I know what he's going to be. I'm going on the floor. And then she'll go, what's that? Uhhuh. Okay. And it's on. It's on, Tom. I see. We live different lives. What else bothers people? If you touch Kelly's foot, she doesn't jump on you. Both have 8 year olds. It's not that different. Yeah, no. Ever. You ever build that wall? That wall of pillows? Mr. Gorman? Chef. Tear down that wall. Oh, you had a wall. Oh, no. Let's. Let's talk about the. The. The. When you have to dig out of the rubbish. So do you know what rubbish is? When you come and you have on your full outfit. You did not change your clothes. You have on your full outfit and you're wrapped up in a sheet and a blanket you like. Oh, okay. She's mad. Extremely mad. It's like I don't even want. I don't want no part of your skin touching my skin. I don't. I'm not. And if. Guess what? If it does touch me, I didn't take a bath before I went to bed. Now what you gonna do with that? We are speaking with Alisa Deek. And through the glass, I can't help but notice Mr. Pat Godwin. Yes, sir. And on the big screen, I can't help but notice Mr. Jeff Oskay. Jeff, I don't know if you've met Ali, but let's meet right now and you explain what you're doing here. Hi, Mr. Ali. Hey, how you doing? I'm a big fan. Me and my son, we just watched your. Your special from prison. It was great. Oh, you. You went back to bigger than these bars. Yes, it was great. So you didn't want none of the current stuff? I thought it was great. I'm sorry that I. It is great, but I got new stuff. I think we should. This is radio. I realize this, but we can't get away from the fact that your beard exactly matches your shirt that you're wearing. It's amazing. Looks cool. Yeah, it looks really wild. That's. It looks like you're this floating face. I have so much envy of your beard. He can do that in, like, a week and a half. This has been three months. It's been three months. This is seven years on my face. I remember one side looks like. Like a Fiji. This is my beard. And Ali has to draw in part of the mustache. That's true. He didn't like talking about. Baby, give me your eyeliner. I got to get this thing serious. Now, Mr. Oskar does a special performance for us. Do you want to explain what it is? Yeah, normally. Well, I didn't know Sadiq was going to be here, so normally I give. We give you a lot of the news and we fail to give you some stuff, but this week, the new sucked. Oh, and Reno didn't do his Country Fried take this week, so I'm instead going to do an oscified take of the week. Oh, really? But instead of talking about important current events, I'm going to talk about myself. So here's a little something I failed to mention about myself. Here's Jeff Oscar with what you failed to mention about himself. I grew up hard of hearing. I was born deaf in my left ear. People always ask me, why don't you have a hearing aid in that ear? Well, because I'm deaf, not hard of hearing. If you. If someone told you they were blind, you wouldn't ask if they had tried glasses. I digress. Wow. You know, I feel retroactively stupid. I've never. That has never happened to me before in my life. So why are you wearing headphones with both ears? Well, that's the way headphones are designed, they make the one. You just make one Earth the other side. No, no, they got the ones the NFL guys were just one ear, right? Well, apparently we can't afford it in the budget, so we have two. Okay, so now I can hear out of my right ear. But even then, in noisy situations, all I hear are muffled sounds. So when I talk to people, I like them to be straight in front of me so I can put their lip movements and their sound structure together. Then hopefully I can understand what is being said. Though it fails a lot. And because of that, I'm afraid a lot of people I interact with think I'm dumb. Often I misunderstand what people are saying to me. Sometimes I answer questions people didn't even answer. Like, am I wired? No, I'm just excited for the weekend. Oh, wait, you said I'm fired. Early weekend. Another thing, and I'm not sure if it's my bad hearing or stupidity or a combination of both. Both. But I get words wrong. Like, a lot. Like Tom, I always pronounce the side dish as cold slaw because it's a slaw that's served cold. Acceptable. Then a few years back, my best friend informed me that it is coleslaw. C O, L, E. Not C o, l, D, like I'd been foolishly ordering at Popeyes for the last 30 years. Come to find out, cole is just some weird translation from the Dutch word from the town where coleslaw was first invented. Another word I've been pronouncing until my mid-30s. Bonfire. B O n f, I R e. Sure. My entire life, I always heard the word as bond. Fire, B o n d F I, R E. And it made sense to me because it's a fire people bond around. Oh, sure. Like, when was the last time you had a bonfire by yourself? Never. Never. You may have had a little campfire that you sit around around by yourself, but a raging bonfire? No, with a bonfire, there's always one or more dudes with you. That's how it got to be a bonfire in the first place. Because you're sitting around a campfire, one of your buddies is like, hey, man, throw another pallet on that, son. And your other buddy's like, hey, I got some used more motor oil in the back of my truck. Let's get this thing going. Yeah. Unfortunately, I learned it was bonfire and not bonfire in the middle of breaking it off with some chick over text, which is a horrible time to find out and an even worse way to break up with someone. What happened was I'd taken her to this nice museum opening, then we went to a jazz club throughout the night, as most of the women I date do. She proceeded to get very hammered, and she got a bit too loud, too obnoxious, and overtly racist for my time taste. Listen, I'm the obnoxious one in the relationship. There can't be two of us. So the next night, I'm texting her, and I told her I wasn't happy with how the night went. And I text her, you were behaving like we were at a bond fire with your friends. It was a gallery opening, not some hillbilly bond fire. That's right. I doubled down on the bond fire with a D. Yeah. And she texted about. Good. I'm glad we're through. I don't want to be with someone who thinks they've been sitting around bonfires their entire life. It's bonfire, not bonfire, you idiot. So I blocked her number, and then I called up my best friend. I'm like, hey, man, did you know it was bonfire and not bonfire? He's like, yeah, you idiot. Why would it be bonfire? And I go, cause it's a fire. People bond around. And he goes, oh, well, guessing. Using that logic, I guess you order a lot of cold slaw with your barbecue. And I was like, how did you know? So the next time you find yourself talking to what you think is an idiot, remember, the person may not be a total idiot. They just may be a little deaf and a little dumb. I'm Jeff Oskay, and this has been the hearing disorder I failed to mention. Failed to mention news. Jeff. Oscar. I didn't know he was deaf. I had no idea. I didn't either. I had no idea. I'm gonna get him a pair of custom one ear earphones. Oh, God, yeah. Ali has his hand up. Are you deaf too? In one ear. Wow. Very, very hard hearing in one ear. Oh, Very, very hard here. In what? Just the one. Just the one. What happened? Boxing injury. I have no idea. At first I thought it was good, and then I couldn't. I don't hear well on that side. So you don't. You don't hear in your left ear, and I don't. So then try to change. Change it. Do you then. Do you then when you sleep with your. The woman that lives in your house, do you sleep with the deaf ear toward her just to cut down on the chat? I turn the deaf ear towards everyone. My oldest found out. My oldest, she was the first one to notice it because she asked me important stuff, I'd be like, huh? Then she would go around to the right. Yeah, it's ailments. I don't. I see double out of this eye. Every. Every direction straight. You see double. That's interesting. Yeah. In Domino Effect 1, I told a story about this guy named Quincy that hit me in my eye when I was 15 and flipped my eyeball over and I broke it. Broke like five bones in my face. So my optic nerve is actually pinched still. Pinched between two bones. So if you look at my face, you'll see where they open my eye up at the bottom and in the side and put me. Brought my eye back down. Wow. Thanks. Anybody want some eggs? We have a special guest in the studio, as you can see. Oh, boy. As I live and breathe, it's Dr. Tom Whiskey here. Ali you haven't had the pleasure of meeting. Oh, hey, hey, Mr. Ollie. Another true tale from the old West, Doc. Yeah, well, I. I got a little bit of Irish in me. And there you. Is that right. I took this opportunity to write some poems for you guys. No kidding? Yeah. So I'd like to try them out, if you don't mind. Okay. If you will, please, some Old west music. Thank you very much. You already have Old west music? I'm deaf in both ears. Defin both of you. I'm sure you're familiar with the. The Chattahoochee River. Sure. Well, this is a famous, famous, famous poem I just wrote about the. About the river. Okay. There was a lady from old Chattahoochee who sported a very large coochie While drinking some gin. Her boyfriend fell in and so did her cat and her poochie. Big, big woman. It's a big, big coochie. There once was a parrot from China. Oh, there's more. There once was a parent from China who hooked up with a bird named Dinah. But to his chagrin, Chris Hansen walked in and said, you know, that bird is a miner. We're coming right back. One more segment here, and it'll be with comedian Al Jackson, our West coast correspondent. Stick around. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Hope you're having a great Thursday morning. This is Christopher here in the Bob and Tom studios. Our last segment on the Best of the Bob and Tom show for this Thursday morning, a segment with our west coast correspondent, comedian Al Jackson. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're all here in our places with bright shining face. Your hair's all mused up there, chief, huh? You want to fix that? Please fix my. You want to fix my hair, Tom? I have hair on the top of my head. Your thoughts? Oh, wow. Go ahead. I was a shy started. It did. There was an incident in the bathroom. Someone went in before me. Yes. And fouled the area. Oh. And I'm wondering who it was. I'll. I peed in the women's room this morning. Just now, rather. Who was in the men's room this spring? Not I. Not I. Now it's time for us to. Ah, there we go. Holy hell. We're checking in with. With comedian and television host from dbl, the Daily Blast Live. He is Al Jackson and he's wearing a two pocket shirt just like you. Al, is that one of my shirts? Got like a blue jean 2 pocket shirt. Oh, it looks velvet it to me. I look for as much as, you know, we've been doing this for a while, Tom. And you know. Yes. Are the streets talking? Is everybody saying, wow, you've had a real impact on Tom. And that happens every day. And I say, yeah, I have. But you know what, Tom? You've had an impact on me. And I am definitely starting to dress like a famous animal trainer now. And that's my look. I got the two pockets. I have. I am definitely in my Jim Harbaugh phase where I'm wearing the same thing almost every day. I bought this and there's also pants to go with it. And I have it in almost every color. And I'm almost. I'm almost down to one uniform. Like the starship Enterprise. It's a lot easier in life. What is the rule? Like, I have this, I have a denim shirt. It's a darker denim shirt. But I always wear jeans. And they're not dark denim. They're just regular denim. They're not stonewasher. I feel stupid wearing a dark denim shirt with lighter jeans. Any. Yeah, you know, it's like the Canadian tuxedo. Yeah. You gotta, you gotta wear black jeans, denim shirt, or like a khaki shirt. Would that work? Yeah, that'd be fine. That'd be fun. Or our khaki pants. I think. I think with the rules of fashion, you're okay, chick. I think the Canadian tuxedo comes in when the jeans and the shirt match. Right. I think so too. Because then that's like, okay, okay. Well, these would definitely not matter. You're okay. Okay. Now, Al, this happened to me the other day. I was at the gym and I asked the guy next to me, oh, geez, what kind of Shoes he was wearing. Poor bastard. Bless his heart. The guy had to put up with that, huh? Yeah, because our shoe experts chick. And anything about shoes he gets mad at. Is it cool to say. To say, hey, those are cool shoes. What are those now? Would you do that? No, No, I don't. No, no, of course not. At the gym, like. Yeah. Yes. The gym is this weird place. It's like. There's not. It was not in the locker room, by the way. It was in the gym part of the gym. I know what Al's going to say. That's even worse. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Yeah. Because it. It's worse because the gym is the only place where I will. If I see a guy shoot a shot, even if a woman is on the street and he's in a car, which is a creepy scenario. Look, if you see, that's how sometimes you meet your wife, you say, hey, the. You know, I know this is weird, but I'd love to take you out. Whatever. The gym is the only place where I don't think there should be any talking because you are working out and you are on some kind of high and any kind of distraction from that. Like, the gym is like a lot of people's only time. And so I think a guy hitting on a woman in the gym is the worst place to do it. And besides maybe awake and a guy talking to me about my. While I'm on the bench press trying. He wasn't on the bench press. He was just standing there and he said, those look cool looking shoes. And what did he reply? Did he shut the conversation down or did he know I'm looking up, right? He said they were called apl. Is that a thing? I don't know. No. What do you. What are you wearing? What kind of sneakers are you wearing now? Heard of it? These are just. I get my. These are my workout sneakers I get from Temu. These are definitely some knockoff Japanese. Oh, okay. Sneakers. Everything I get is from Teemu. I. What, you just like garbage? Yes, the same stuff. It. You know what it is? You know what it is, Josh? If you want to get right into it, Amazon, here's what you're paying for. You're paying for the box, bro. Timu comes and it looks like they just sent you a brick of cocaine. It is just. It is in a brown rectangular box. It's in a bag. Bag it. But it's the same thing. Amazon. You'll get like the. A nice shirt or it's like folded nicely like Timo's like take it. Here you go. And so that you. You just. It's like the spirit airlines of ordering stuff from online. It's the same stuff. It's just packaged horribly. I found that it's not the same stuff that it's it. If Timu. Cheaper versions. If TEMU could put a guy in a car and screech up your house and throw it out the window and scream away, they would. That's exactly. I don't know if you read this and if you talked about this in your TV show, but TEMU ran the same. I want to say four. Was it four or five ads during the Super Bowl. And the ad was voted the worst ad. But then I was reading in a advertising magazine that it was considered to be one of the most effective because they had such a big bounce. The following. Whatever 24 hours of so many people looking into seeing who they were. So I guess I think advertising disturbing thing from that anecdote is that you were reading advertising magazine. Yeah, well I'd. If I saw somebody reading that, I'd be like, that's definitely a cop. There's nothing now. By the way, Al I looked up that's like these APL shoes. These are super cool. Oh God. And some of these are like 200. Wait, but apl. Does that stand? Does that stand? I don't know. I just sounds like. Yes, it does. Athletic propulsion labs. What do you think of these? Chick, you're the shoe guy. I'm looking right now. Chris, do you'd like these? They come in all kinds of pastel colors. They're better than the ones you got on right now. You are a girl. You like pastel? They're all. They bad. Tom has been driving me crazy for the past it seems like six months about these on cloud shoes. He's found these and he absolutely loves them. They're very comfortable. I'm looking them up now. And the trainers aren't bad. They look pretty cool actually. They have some nice colors. My trainer recommended these shoes so I'm. That's what I'm working with now. Oh, that's important. Then your trainer recommended guy blowing you off at the gym. Glad you had it off. I'm taking a break here to get some water. Wearing those on cloud shoes. I need another apl. You are not a so called sneaker head. And typically I am not. I almost never wear athletic shoes. Although lately I have been. I've been wearing leather shoes for a long time, but I suddenly am wearing these all the time. Sneakerhead. Is it's it's, it's the cool way to say that you're a shoe guy. And it's weird because women, for years, it's always been like, oh, you ladies in your high heels. I know five guys for every woman that are obsessed with shoes and have been since we were in middle school, high school. You know, the Jordans would come out, they go get them in literally time. Three different. Yeah, I have a friend, A friend of ours is a shoe guy. I mean, sneaker head, whatever you want to call it. Scott. He's. Yeah, insane. He. He buys, he has shoes that are boxed that he's never opened. Oh, you mean like action figures or something? Yeah, I mean, it's. I'm serious. What's he do with them? It's an investment. Excuse me. Did you say a friend of ours? Oh, he really will. Will he flip them? You know, I mean, not do any work to him, obviously, but the person who has the most shoes around Here is Chip McGee. What's the matter? Nothing. I mean, you've, you've had hundreds of pairs of sneakers. Yes, yes, yes. You gave a lot of them away. I, I, I'm ready. Dressed like an AAU coach. I do I. And, you know, I. Air Force ones. That's all I, I try to. That's all I wear. But also, the AA is appropriate because he should be sitting in a circle. I'm a shoeaholic. Hi, Chick. There's got to be some. It's a callback to earlier in the show. I, I feel like he's the closest one because you are down with the Adidas tracksuits you could get away with. That's my goal. Give me, like, $15 million, and I'm getting 20 Adidas tracksuits, and I'm never wearing anything else again. I'm wearing that like my daughter's wedding, and I feel like you're almost there, Chick. You could just rock a different color Adidas Tracksuit, get like 10 of them and be done. I don't like the different colors. I like the black and the white and maybe a charcoal, maybe a gray. Oh, you don't like color? Help me here. From a fashion standpoint, doesn't the Adidas track shoot traditionally come with a dookie rope? I'm sorry. I wouldn't say. I wouldn't say traditionally. Of course. Now, could he get away with that? Absolutely. I mean, it's. I don't know if people. It would be more the herringbone chain with diamonds, and I think that would be the updated. The Updated look. I think Chick could pull that off stuff now. Well, I don't think Tom could, but maybe I could. No, I don't. I don't wear sweatpants. I don't own any. I hate them. He hates sweatpants. Yes. Hates them. Hates them. Do you. You've had, like, a real issue with sweatpants that goes beyond, like, just personal taste. It's like something happened to you. I don't. I don't. I don't own in front of. I don't know. That's a fair question. I also, al. I hate sweaters. I don't own a sweater. Speaking of things you're keeping in your closet. Yeah, I don't own any sweaters. I would never wear one. One. I hate them. And I think when I see those sweaters, those sweater vests, I think you just give up. Take out the rifle and get it over with. Oh, they. Some of them are very attractive. This is the Bob and Tom show. Named one of the best personal finance podcasts. The Stacking Benjamin show with Joe and his friends makes financial literacy fun. Draymond Green has a podcast. He was asking Mark Cuban why at the beginning of2024, Cuban sold a huge part of his company. He's like, did you see how much money I got? I'm sure there's a more graceful answer than that, but, dude, I bought it for 200 million and sold it for 6 billion. I don't think it was that much more graceful than that. Find out more by searching the Stacking Benjamin's podcast wherever you listen.