Tom (0:00)

This episode is brought to you by Dutch Bros. Big smiles, rocking tunes and epic drinks. Dutch Bros. Is all about you. Choose from a variety of customizable handcrafted beverages like our Rebel energy drinks, coffees, teas and more. Download the Dutch Bros app for a free medium drink. Plus find your nearest shop, order ahead and start earning rewards offer valid for new app users only. Free medium drink Reward upon registration 14 day expiration terms apply. See DutchBros.com it's the Bob and Tom Show. Met our old lover at the grocery store. Don't think she was wearing a bra the way she jiggled in the produce line those were the best melons we saw she didn't recognize our faces at first Cause she was staring at our. She asked us if we'd like to have a drink. We said fine, we'll meet at St. To have ourselves a drink or two but couldn't find an open bar. Got some malt liquor at the package store and we did it in her car. We drank a toast. Two days gone by Drank a toast to New Year's Eve. Then she puked and passed out in her car. So we decided, hey, let's leave. The beer was empty and our tongues was tired. Sunny really had to go. We wanted her to have our phone number so Sunny wrote it in the snow. Just for a moment we were both alone and felt that old familiar pain. Just then the babe came to and gave us a wink. So we both climbed in again. Happy New Year, Sunny. Happy New Year, Nick. And Happy New Year to that babe in the Pinto. Whatever your name might have been. Our phone number's right behind your bumper written in the snow. Give us a call sometime. Good morning. Hello. From coast to coast, it's the mom and Tom Show. Many portions of the upcoming program have been pre recorded, meaning they've already happened and they're about to happen again. So where was I? Oh. Oh, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, we're glad to have you here. It's the Bob and Tom Show. Tom Weevil, wonderful guest this morning. Where? Right over there in the interview loft. Oh, it's John Marco Ceres. Like to say hi. Close. Hey, John Marco. Do you like to be your close, close friends? Do they call you, I don't know, JM or John or John Marco? Do they have to do the whole thing? I don't think we're there yet in our relationship. I. I mean, it's kind of a handful, I know. But if. If I. If I. If I give an inch, never get my name back. So I Went through the phases. Like, you know, in. In high school, I was g. College gm. But then I learned if I do it, then I'll never get it back. So my father and my. My girlfriend now will call me Gianni sometimes Gianni Versace. So. But that's. But. But they're the only. That's it. Okay. That's. You know who. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. So we'll call you. So you can't call him that. I'm not just. I'm just curious. I was going to. Unless you buy him dinner first. Okay, now you. A couple of questions. Don't be. Can you drive a car? I cannot. I have a license, which is not good because I got it in. I mean, it truly is a failure of the system all having a license. It means that I parallel parked once in 2004. It's insane that I have a license still. The reason I ask, because I went to college in New York City and a lot of my buddies there, they couldn't drive or swim because they grew up in New York City. Can you swim? I can swim, but because I grew up in Maryland, I should be able to drive. This is not a New York thing. This is a. I had. I had a girlfriend in high school and she. She drove. She. And she would drive me places and then she. She broke. Is nothing worse than being dumped and then needing to ask your ex for a ride home. Wow. Rare but brutal. Yeah. And I just. I asked you that. I just had this sort of feeling. What, that he didn't drive? Yeah, he. He gives off that I need a useless I need. I need a lot of help vibe. Sorry, I don't mean that in a negative way. It came off negative. How could that be a positive? Yeah. Thank you. You are that vibe. You wander around here needing help constantly. How many people work for you? I did. Yeah. I can't. So anyway, the point is, it's great to see you and so now you mentioned that you have a girlfriend. I do. Prior to this, were you using the so called dating apps? Were you out in that world or is there one just for theater people? That's for like straight theater people. I was gonna say Grindr. That's. No, I never did a lot of. I never did a lot of the apps. I was. I would always. I would go on dates and then like, I would never know how to end the date. So I would just like be polite and we'd be there for three hours and we'd make fake plans and it was awful. I don't Know, because I went through. I basically, like, I dated someone in. I dated someone in college, and we dated for, like, five years, and then she broke up with me at a crowded Starbucks in the middle of the day. And I was like, why would you do this here? And she was like, because they didn't want you to make a scene. And I was like, well, then you shouldn't have brought an audience. This happened in 2012, so it's still a little bit raw. And I think she might be seeing someone else because I went to her Instagram and there's this one guy that keeps popping up in all of her honeymoon pictures. I mean, modern technology made bricks breaking up. So. So degrading. I mean, back in the day, if you mailed your ex a letter and she never responded, it hurt. Right? But at least the mailman never came back with the letter. Like, she read it and don't they. Isn't it suggested in all the advice columns that if you're going to do the breakup, do it in a public place? That way you don't get, you know, a problem. I guess I don't. Yeah. I guess it depends on. You Go to a public place to not make a scene. But the only place you can make a scene is in a public place. Unless you're Eric Boghossian doing something in your own apartment. But you can't. Yeah, I was just curious. I've. Occasionally I'll be able to say you had to break up with anyone. Yeah, you were broken up with someone. Ghosted them to death as well. That's my technique. Avoid, avoid, avoid. Ever been in, like, say you're in a car, coffee place, and you realize that the people right next to you are on a. They're on a date for the first time. I always like it. I do, too. I like to eavesdrop. Oh, I. I just like. Me too. You can tell. It's one of those. Those app things in your. And you can tell how well it's going right away. Wait, you feel like you can tell what app they met on? No, no, no. That would be fair, but no, I mean, I can, like, those two met on J Date. I can tell. I just got a sense Tom has no idea what J Date is. No, I know what it is. I grew up in Shaker Heights, Ohio. Oh, okay. I'm more Jewish in the world. No, no, I'm aware of that one. And there's. There's. There's what is. There's a. There's plenty of fish. There's hinge. Farmers only. There's one for farmers tender. What's hinge for? Is that some specific. I think it's just the new. The new date app. Bumble's the one where the woman has to respond. Yeah, but it used to be. I'm pretty sure that they stop that. Cuz it didn't work. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that they. They changed it. Yeah. Oh, no kidding. It wasn't happening. Like the. Not enough guys were getting. Yes. Notified that women were interested. Yes. I use Bumble for. For a little bit and it would be like you'd match and then nothing. Yeah. Yeah. Do women. Jess and Christy, do you want to be. No, I answer. I'll answer this. Well, of course. But do you, I think, do most women want to be asked out as opposed to asking out a guy? I would do. I don't mind either way. If I, if I'm interested in a guy, then I'm gonna approach him and if he doesn't ask me out, then I'll ask him out. I see. Christy, are you the same? Yeah, I've never had any problem in that department. I've never been shy. Yeah. Yeah. But you were never on the apps, were you? Once. How'd that go? I was too. I'm sorry. Yeah, my sister set up an account for me and she was like, okay, we're gonna get your parameters like this asking the age, interests, all these things. And it was like four guys in a 10 mile radius. And I was like, yeah, I'm done here. It would be tough to be on a dating app with the last name hooker. Yeah. Would be like, you're not allowed to do this here. That's a different app. Yeah. And also being on the radio, it kind of is weird, you know, like a semi public figure. Right. I assume. Well, I was on Match and I just put my pick. I literally took a picture sitting right here with the Bob and Tom sign right behind me. Bad idea. No, because I wasn't gonna play the game. I wanted people to know right out. I imagine guys would go. At least a lot of my female comedian friends, they say that guys, they always go, oh, I've always thought about doing comedy too. They have to deal with like guys being like, yeah, I should do it. Oh yeah, tell me a joke. Wow, interesting. Never, Never. When people say tell you a joke outside the context of never do it, you never do it. You have to. They always. I remember once when I was single, I was like going to a club and there was like a woman behind me and we Were flirting and she was like, you know, oh, you're come in, tell me a joke. And I was like, no, no, no. And then eventually she. She got me to do it. I told the joke and she was like, okay, yeah, it doesn't work. It doesn't work. It feels corny. It feels weird. You have to slip it in naturally. I always just say, hey, I get paid. And that gets a mild laugh. And then we move on. Yeah, that's good. That's. Maybe we should go. Go with something really racist. Well, some of us want to keep working. I'm just saying, you see and get the date. See what shock value does. Okay. So these three walk into a. That's usually what happens though, when somebody says, hey, I got a joke. You want to hear a joke? Oh, yeah, very offensive. Some kind of religious aspect of it. In sodomy. In the. In the same. How specific do the dating apps get? Is there. I mean, you got. Depends on what apps. It depends on what apps Is there one for sort of everything probably. Yeah, there's one for famous people. What's that? Yeah, that's. There's Raya. Oh, that's. Raya was like an invite only app. Yeah. But now even that's like it's faded. You can pay, I think to join. Oh really? Yeah, they all fade. There's another one too that. Is there one for like widowers only, so. Yeah, I bet. So she's already dead dot com. Plenty of dirt. First one. First one. Oh my God. God. Oh my God. That'd be good. We're really helping. Oh God. I like that there are really specific dating apps. Yes. Did you ever go on one? No, I've never done it. Because they work. And being the commitment foe by. Well, a happy new year's morning. This is Christopher here on the Bob and Tom show and this is the best of the Bob and Tom show for a Tuesday. Coming up today, Ally Breen, Greg Hahn, Reno Collier Ryan Singer and Frank Caliendo all on today's show. But coming up next, we'll kick things off with some Chad Daniels and Kelsey cook. Next on the Bob and Tom show. Bob and Tom, get in zone. Autozone. Welcome to autozone. What are you working on today? So you've got an oil change coming up. We can help you save on the right oil for your vehicle. Right now get five quarts of Castrol edge full synthetic or Castrol edge full synthetic high mileage motor oil with an STP Extended Life Oil Filter for just $35.99. Visit one of our 6,000 stores or order from AutoZone.com for same day store pickup or next day delivery. Get in zone. Autozone restrictions apply. Oh, winter's here with all the eyes and snow and the surly slush upon the rope oh, the salty spray upon my window Makes me wish that I'd replace my wiper blades My whipper whipper whipper blades My whipper whipper whipper blade My whipper whipper whipper blades I wish that I'd replaced my wiper blade Salty spray from semis that do pass they turn my windshield into bathroom glass I turned the knob but I come to the conclusion that I did not fill up my washer solution My wiper, wiper wiper fluid My wiper, wiper wiper fluid My wiper, wiper wiper fluid I wish that I'd replaced my wiper fluid down the expressway eightymph I can make out headlights daylights frosted shapes but down by the dash is the clearing where both blades do scrape I can see fine if I lay on the passenger seat My wiper, wiper wiper blade My wiper wiper wiper blade My wiper, wiper wiper blade I wish that I'd replace my wiper blade New verse summer's hair with deep press Bugs and flies all committing windshield suicide in smears of green and yellow gizzard goo Only brillo wiper blades would do My wiper wiper wiper blades My wiper wiper wiper blades My wiper wiper wiper blade I wish that I'd replace my wiper blades One more time My wiper wiper wiper blade My wiper wiper wiper One time on delay. Here we go. My wiper, wiper wiper blade I always said I'd replace my wiper blade last day of 2024. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. This is the best of the Bob and Tom show. The gang is back next Monday here live in the studio. Here's a segment from 2024 with Chad Daniels and Kelsey cook. And here's Tom with two special guests. Thank you very much. Chad Daniels, comedian right over there. Kelsey Cook, comedian right over there. And we were discussing parentage and Kelsey, interestingly enough, her father is quite a distinguished musician. And what is an artist of the yo yo is. What is that called? A Yo yoer? International yo yo man was his technical term. Okay. And I just was exploring this on the Internet, all kinds of amazing videos. And he also has trumpet Tuesday. I love this guy. Thank you. A big Horn. I'm a big horn fan. Yeah, it's like a dos guy, right? Like man in the world. Tommy. Yeah. And your comedy special called the hustler has over 3 million views on YouTube. Where do people find you on the various social media platforms? Thank you. It's at Kelsey Cook comedy. That's Kelsey with a K, Cook with a C. All right. And that special, the Hustler just today is on Hulu. Yeah. Oh, right on. Thank you. Over to Hulu today. Thank you. So check it out. Yeah. And then while I'm at it, Chad Daniels, currently featured on Netflix. Yeah, we have two subscriptions at the house now. Now. Nice. Netflix and Hulu. Yeah, we were talking off the air kind of about this. And that is you sort of forget what you have when it comes to tv, because one day you'll go, oh, my God, I've got to watch this show and it's on whatever obscure network, and then you forget that you just bought it for life. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. You'd never look at the thing and check how many. What do you think, three or four? I have been known to. If I forget my password on Netflix, I just start another account. I just don't see the. I think I've got it pared down, but I'm not sure. I can't say that confidently now. Have you ever clicked on forgot password? Yes. And. But they need a different email. It's a long story, Chad. Okay. Yeah. Just because you're in Minnesota, brain smart think that you can come down here and I apologize for that. I sometimes forget about my fancy book learning. That's right. I make people feel dumb. And that's. That's on me now. Josh does the same thing when you're not. Chad is a big football fan now. Kelsey, are you a fan of football? He's pulled me into it now, and it's fun. I was a Seahawks fan a little bit, but Vikings are fun to root for. Except when Kirk Cousins is on the team and your boyfriend has for some reason, a deep hatred of the man because for some reason she says, is it that he continuously throws 3 yards when it's 4th and 8? Hey, Captain, check down. Check down. Charlie. Unbelievable. So great that he ended up in Georgia cuz they're used to getting screwed by Cousins in the South. It is about time. I had no idea. I'm sorry. We. We brought this up. Please. I poked the bear. Both of my kids texted me within five minutes of him getting traded, and they both said something like, we can finally watch football together. It has ruined the experience for anyone near me. And didn't, didn't it come out that he was like the hell, one of the highest paid players ever in history? I think people keep mentioning that because in relation to his talents and how much money he's made and how much he was sought after by the Falcons, which still to this day no one can figure out because they went ahead and got Michael Panicks from Washington, who is going to start playing now because they don't want to, you know, bother Kurt. He's got he. And he's coming off an injury and they gave him $150 million. I don't know. I don't know what's. Wow, that's scary. Who's your quarterback now? We have a couple. Sam Darnold and then JJ McCarthy, who just won the national title of Michigan. Damn Sam Darnold. Damn Darnold. Well, let's give Christy a chance to do her thing. She's over there. Oh, yeah. Silac news desk. What have you got? There's a new poll out there. You know how much we love these so called lazy days. How many of those should you have a year? Oh, I'd say at least two a week. Two a week? Yes. Okay. What is that? 307? 160 or so. It depends how you define a lazy day. Well, according to the survey, we need 60 lazy days a year to feel relaxed and rested. Americans are most likely to take lazy days on Sundays, 40% and Saturdays, 25%. The least popular day to do nothing is Monday. Tuesday. No, Monday. Tuesday, they say. That's interesting. I've read that that's the best day to do almost everything, including having surgery. And that's sort of the day everyone's kind of back to work. And Tuesday is the focus day, the best day. You should buy a car that was made on Tuesday. Wow. Because they're better. Yeah, because Monday everybody's getting over the weekend and then by Wednesday everybody's looking forward to the weekend. So Tuesday is the money. But how the hell do you find out if it was made on a table? Exactly. You got to know a guy. Oh, I guess so. Yeah. Yeah. Carfax. When it comes to lazy day activities, respondents shared how they spend their do nothing day. How would you spend your do nothing day? Hmm. I don't know. Reading, fishing. But are those doing things? That's the thing. Well, see, right. What is the definition? I think it's got to be an unplanned. I'm not going to have a Checklist of stuff to do. Well, three hours of binge watching movies and TV is the first one on here. Oh, to me, that's. And you're just supposed to have 60 of these, huh? Yeah, I might have skewed that average a little higher. I'm not sure. Three hours of doing absolutely nothing. I don't think people can do that anymore. I'm pretty good at it. I got my rocking chair on my porch, and I will just sit there. Do you have a phone in your hand? Sometimes it's sitting on the table that I have on my porch, too. But no, most. I mean. And not a book or anything. I mean, sometimes I'll read out there, but yeah, sometimes I just. Look. Just your thoughts. Snacks. My neighbors have to think I'm a maniac. Oh, my God. Did you hear Tom? Snacks. Oh, of course. I have my rotisserie chickens. So far, you have a chair, a table, a porch, a book, a phone, snacks. And neighbors. Stop bragging. He's got it all. Holy shit. No, but I read a thing that said you should just sit there every now and again, and so I've been trying to do that. That's good for you. Yeah. Do you ground? Do you get bur. Barefoot and walk on your grass or lay down in the grass or. I don't, like, lay down on the grass like the boyhood poster. No, I don't. It's called grounding. Yeah, it's good. It's good for you. But I do. Every time I do it, though, I'm not relaxed because I read this. I also. I saw this thing about hookworms, and I'm. Yes, I'm terrified of. Hey, hookworms are real. You'll chase pythons, but you're afraid of laying in your own yard. I mean, hookworms burrow into you and then you. Yeah. Oh. Oh, absolutely. They're naked. They're critters in the lawn. Yeah, you kind of come in here like a feral cat. So, Christy, you go and lie down in your lawn. Yeah. What is wrong with that? She's got bugs. She can't walk. Oh, my gosh. She can't what? She can't walk past. Yeah, I pass out in the yard. That's exactly right, Pat. I play wherever I need. Mama needs a nap. Lazy days also consist of two hours of lying in bed for some. Two hours Scrolling. Jeez. See, that's scrolling is not doing nothing. There's nothing healthy about that. And an hour eating. What about whack time? How much wack time should you have on a lazy day. Just asking about whack time. Jeez, that's not on the list. Does that involve scrolling or do you have a go to? Oh, you know what? That does involve scrolling. And the chicken ugly juice on your hands. Got it all, man. The top feelings that prompt people to take their lazy days are low mood and energy, burnout and feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities. Feeling. No, I see. I don't like those positive reasons. Refreshing yourself. Re. Energizing. Getting in touch with nature. Yeah. Peace and quiet. You'll understand this, Kelsey. I envision my life as the guy with the plate spinners. And the second you stop spinning the plates, everything starts falling apart. Well, that's how you see it. The world would not stop if you just sat down for five minutes. Five minutes maybe. What if you grabbed the plates that were spinning and then stacked them and put them on Josh's porch table and just relax for a little bit and then you could start spinning them again. When do I have to load them with snacks? My porch table doesn't have any room for any more plates. No, I'm not good at not doing things. Yeah, I know you're not. I can't do that. I cannot. Yeah, but you're like a great white shark. You stop, you're dead. Yeah, we need. We need you to keep just moving. Yeah, gotta keep. Gotta keep in motion. What do you do to relax? Go to sleep. Collapse. Okay, fair enough. At any given moment, I could be asleep in two minutes. Oh, I know. That is your body telling you. No, no, no, no. It seems healthy to me. Let him. Let him go. I could right now go into my office. Two minutes later, I'd be asleep. Wow. That means your body needs sleep. Yesterday I went over to PJs. We were working on something and I fell asleep. Woke up like 40 minutes later. I hear this. Tom. Tom, you want to go look at this? Hello. Had a great nap. How often do you wake up with somebody holding a makeup mirror under your nose? I did have the cop beat on my window. That one. Oh, yeah. I thought you were dead, sir. The cop beating on your window. Does that count as whack time for him, perhaps. Okay. Okay. Thank you very much, Jo. Joining us to the studio, Chad Daniels, Kelsey Cook. They are indeed a couple. I have a quick question. Do you ever consult each other on your jokes? Do you ever watch one of his sets and go, hey, maybe you could get rid of that? Scale it back a little or fix them either. I think we will have something happen in our real life. And we'll both be like, I'm doing it on stage. And the other person's like, no, I got it first. So we'll have that argument quite a bit. But. But I feel like our acts are mostly making fun of the other. And then we'll come together and do shows where we'll each take turns saying our jokes, and then the other person has a chance to give their side of the story. Oh, that's really cool. We called it notebook rebuttal. Yeah. That's fun. Yeah. So. But. And there's certain things I assume are off limits. Yeah, but we. We haven't really run into that conversation, though. And, I mean. And you fully get it. You. You don't. After he says something, you get off the stage, you go, well, I guess you were really pissed about. I mean, I think they're so funny generally. Yeah. I think we both have good taste about that kind of thing. We're not gonna throw the one. The other one under the bus, too. Holy. You know? Yeah. And I think it actually helps us get through things that are actually tense in our real life. Like, Chat has really bad road rage, and it's been an actual fight in our relationship before, but look at him, just waiting for his. But now it's been fun to talk about it on stage, because I feel like I'm getting some, you know, release from it. Like, he will pull up beside people on the freeway if somebody's doing something he doesn't like, and he will give them a thumbs down. Oh, that's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, you're gonna get shot. I mean, that's insane behavior. I've never seen somebody. She's right. Have you done anything to help him temper the road ra. Marriage? Well, I've just been like, why are we. Like, what's the rush? Like, he always drives. Like, I'm actively in labor, and I'm like, we're going to Whole Foods. Why are we Tokyo drifting right now? What is. What's the urgency? So I think I just try to understand him. Like, where does this come from? May I ask one question, please? Do I have road rage or is that person being an idiot? That's. I mean, we have to figure that out. Out. Yes, but I have road rage, so I'm on his side. I get it. I have it real. But I. Me too. I've stopped. I don't flip people off. I. I give them a thumbs down because. Yeah, because I think. I think that's the equivalent of a parent telling you they're disappointed. Okay. And that stings. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Do you. How deep can one delve into your bedroom activities on stage safely? Olivia, plug your ears. Look at her with her thumbs down. She's giving us thumbs down. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know she has studios. I was dead serious. So anyway, how long have you been on stage, Chad? You know, being a comedian and all? No, my question is. I'm not asking you to now. I'm saying, do you delve into that in your. When you're on stage? Yeah. Any of his. Any of his shortcomings or. I've talked about that. He. He's the first guy I've ever, ever been with who has had a vasectomy and that I had some, you know, some scientific questions about what that meant. Sure. And then I'm pretty sure Chad's daughter saw that bit on Instagram and unfollowed me, so, you know, made for a fun Thanksgiving. They can be undone. That's true. They can be reversed. I have a guy if you need. Did you. Did you reverse one? No. No. But I have a friend who's a physician that does that for sure. And have we seen the kids that happen after the reversal? Yes. Have we seen them coming out sideways like a Roman candle that fell down? Hey, everybody. My dad, Humpty Dumpty. Is sack back together. I can't go to restaurants because of mess up meal. I am so sorry that I brought that up. You don't have to be. I mean, I think. I think it's funny. Have you had that discussion about reversing a vasectomy? Yeah, I think I'm all good. I think. I think I'm okay to not have kids. Also, like you said, it would probably be an insane child. Yeah. I will tell you, the longer the vasectomy has been in place, the more, less likely it is to be reversed. I know that, but they can go in there. They can go in there with a needle and extract them. They can. It's pain free. Yeah, no, I'm sure it is. Yeah. Yeah, Yeah. I do feel like at this point, it's been so long that the sperm are like a CD who's been in the car player for so long, but it's just, like, all scratched on the bottom and I don't think I wanted it. Yeah, but it's classic rock, babe. It's gonna be good. You're not. You're not getting that baby urge. What are you doing? You know what? Even if she is this is none of our business. Yes. Yes, it is. I bring people in here, have to have kids. Tom, want to see my new puppy? Oh, yeah. I'll bring her to my house. You can see I'm a new puppy and one of a baby immediately. Oh, my God. I go back and forth, bless his heart. He thinks he's helping. And I go back, never forth. You see, when waiting, you could have a baby doodle. Oh, my God. Half human, half poodle. When we met. Oh, go ahead. Well, I just say our age gap is big enough that if he. Do you want to talk about what it would be like for you if you had a kid now? I mean, I just tell her. I go, why don't you get a calculator and do the math and find out how dead I'd be when this kid graduated. Tom, your thoughts? We're gonna crank it up and be rocking with some black moods coming up in just a couple of minutes, so stand by for that here on the Bob and Tom Show. Hi there. I'm Nicole Khalil, host of this is Woman's Work, where together we're redefining what it means, what it looks and feels like to be doing woman's work in the world today. From boardrooms to studios, kitchens to coding dens, we explore the multifaceted experiences of today's woman, confirming that the new definition is whatever feels true and right and real for you. We're torching the old playbook and writing our own rules. Who runs the world? You. You decide. Follow and listen to this is Woman's Work, part of the Believe Network on your favorite platform. This is a song I wrote for a special person. Each time I need a trusted friend, you're there. With tears to dry and a heart to mend, you're there. And when I'm down in misery and the whole world turns, it's back on me and I need some love and sympathy. You're there. Nice, isn't it? Oh, yeah. And when I'm weary and tired of trying. Honey, you're there. And anytime I need a shoulder to cry on, you're there. And sometimes when I come home with a heavy heart and weary bones and I need a little time alone, you're there. I want to turn the stereo on, but you're there. I gotta get in to use the john, but you're there. When I wake up lovingly and turn on my pillow hoping to see Kim Basinger smiling back at me, you're there. Oh, this is more of a good thing than I ever Planned how much damn togetherness. The one man stand. Don't get me laughing here. All right, sorry. I want to flop down in my favorite chair. But you're there. I can't see in the mirror to comb my hair. Cause you're then. And when I want a little snack at night I sneak down to the fridge to get a little bite. I see a big fat ass blocking out the light. Cause you're there. Welcome back. It's the Bob and Tom show here on a Tuesday morning. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. How about some rocking music for you on this New Year's Eve morning with the black moon. There's Pat Godwin. There's Willie Griswold. Hello, Josh Arnold. Here's your song. Yeah. Nugget is here. There's these cosmetic. Hello, Tom. Yeah, just let him go. This is Hollywood on the Bob and Top show. The black boots. Go, guys, go. I, I try to sing but I don't know the words. Tom, I'm sorry. That's great. I think it's time for you guys to. Ah, another, another movie soundtrack right there. Yeah. Driving at Night songs, just great stuff. The Black Moods. And once again, the documentary is called 500 Days of Silence. Yeah. Featuring Sammy Hagar, Rick Springfield. Gosh, the list goes up. Michael Anthony, the Gin Blossoms. Yeah, it's pretty cool. That's a pretty cool thing. Yeah. Do you know what the name Gin Blossoms is from Kristen? Does it have something to do with alcoholism? Just look at us. You can tell WC Fields. Is it the nose? Exactly, exactly. That's where they got it from. We're good friends with those guys. So the gym blossoms. Yeah, they're cool. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that puffy, bulbous. Yeah, you can, you can zoom in on me if you need to. Really? Okay. We're going to be hearing from the guys in just a few minutes. The Black Moods. Another great song. But right now we have to check in at the SILAC news desk with Christy Lee. Oh, but we were having so much fun. A pair of siblings are in custody after an argument over chicken seasoning turned into a brawl. I get this. According to state police In South Carolina, 27 year old Anthony Harper was preparing chicken when his 25 year old sister Hope questioned him about the food seasoning. So, old enough to know better, right? Mr. Harper reportedly replied, quote, I know how to cook. And Grammy was going to season the chicken. His sister then declared, you're not human, you're a dumb dog. So they began to fight. I don't Think this is about the seasoning. But when a man at the residence fired a gun into the ceiling to try to make the assaultive behavior stop. Of course. Of course. Who wouldn't do that? Sure. Ms. Harper allegedly grabbed a kitchen knife and began chasing her brother with it. The pair's grandmother tried to break up the fight by waving a broom at Ms. Harper. Let's see. Broom versus gun and knife. Those Harpers. Bizarre. You know, I. My instinct is to be angry, but something better. I think it's only worth it. Ms. Harper put the knife back only for her brother to spray her in the face with a can of Raid. Jesus. She grabbed the can and sprayed him back. Whoa. Both siblings are pressing charges against each other, according to the police. Okay, man. Lot going on here. Jerry Springer smiling from heaven. Yeah, yeah, exactly. This story's got it all. Guns, knives, chicken. Chicken seasoning. Willie, if you could sue your brother, Sam, what would you sue him for? I don't know. Just being a jerk. Your honor. He's a jerk. I don't know, man. He got me into, like, weird stuff when I was a kid. Got me into weird music. And you grow up and you think your brother's the coolest guy on earth and you get to college and you go, oh, yeah, no, the Mars Volta is a weird band. I'm not impressing any girls playing the Mars Volta. Yeah. Why do I have a Built to Spill shirt? Yeah, because of him. I love musicals. You know, I love Spring Awakening. It doesn't exactly impress the lady. Because of my older brother, I put up. I bought two copies of the book Watch, Watchmen, because one of the chapters is symmetric. The artwork in it. And then I cut out the pages and put them of the wall by my bedroom. So whenever I took a girl home in high school, she saw that I just loved this comic book. Yes. It's not cool. You have a case. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'll see you in court, you bastard. Yeah. Very good. So in any event, the was the Harper family. Harper family, yeah. Who shoots a gun into the ceiling inside their house? Apparently, Mr. Grandpa Harper does. I like it. This is an example of using a weapon as a non weapon and using non weapons as weapon. The gun is just for a warning. But the raid, that's a weapon. Well, then there's the broom. What's a broom gonna do? I'm just glad people are spending their government checks on something besides booze and cigarettes. That's all I can. That's what I pull out of this. You're assuming something that wasn't in the story. No, sorry. In Florida, fugitives spent six hours in a swamp to avoid arrest. The Hillsborough County Sheriff's office said deputies attempted to owe us 34 year old Mr. Tureen Wright on an outstanding warrant. He allegedly fled to a canal, swam into a heavily wooded area and was on the run for six hours. Hiding in the mangroves while deputies set up a perimeter. If you're a deputy, don't you the gators will get. Yeah. Let's go home, fellas. You let him run to the swamp. Swamp will take care. Canine units were sent out to search for the suspect. Those dogs must have been like, what the hell? Now I'm gator bait. They're snakes and alligators. Go in there yourself, Deputy 5. After he was located by said canine, the 34 year old was let out of the wooded area and taken into custody. I bet he was drug out by teeth of the dog. Hey look, prison rape or alligator death. I'm going for the lose otomie any day. And speaking of alligators, this guy was arrested. Why was he arrested? Why was he arrested? I don't know what he was doing. He just says a fugitive. A fugitive. Oh God. The fugitive. Sorry, I had to get that in the big. I'm gonna argue those aren't great horns. No, they're not. What? They're absolutely not. There's no. They're self putting notes. No soul. They're barely music. It doesn't lead into anything melodic at all. Now can you imagine a soulful version of the Fugitive? That's a TV show, fellas. A little less swing. This doesn't do what we're trying to do with this. I can't sound that cool. Also, back in Florida, a man is accused of lassoing an alligator, tying it to a fence and calling 911 to report it. Mr. Robert Colin used a nylon rope to snag the gator that was floating in some water beneath the bridge in Brevard County. The 71 year old then tied the rope to a handrail and called 911 to report that he found a gator and tied it to the railing. He had a lasso. Yeah, lasso. He lassoed it with the lasso. Okay. Sorry. Security footage however, showed otherwise. He faces a felony charge of injuring a gator without authority. Mr. Cullen later told WTVT We're TVs our middle name that he called animal control about the nuisance gator but decided to take matters into his own hands after getting no response. No, he's being Charged with. That doesn't make sense to me. His heart was absolutely in the right place. He's a hero. He's saving dogs and kids from being eaten by a gator. Mr. Collins said he would often walk to this area of water to feed the turtles as therapy for a heart condition that he has. You have to understand, there's people there, kids there, dogs there, a lot of people up in that area. He was trying to do them a favor getting the gator out of that. No. Yeah. Don't punish this guy. You can go. Hey, look, dude, this isn't how you handle it. But you don't have to punish him. He's 71. Give the guy a break. You got a lasso? That's pretty cool. Yeah. He was able to throw a lasso. Could you do that? I couldn't do it. No. No. Well, good for him. Well, he's. He's in trouble. Okay. And an adult black baron cub became trapped inside a car in Winstead, Connecticut, recently. The bears thrashed around the vehicle, blaring the horn, blasting the radio and destroying the interior and in general, having a great time. Sounds like a blast. While a second cub ran around in apparent distress. Mom. Mom, let me in. The car's owner called state environmental conservation police, who were able to open a door and free the animals. The bears were not harmed. However, the interior, the car, completely torn apart. You're right. It's the third bear related episode in Connecticut within the past week. Week. Bears are restless in Connecticut. Watch out. Wow. Yeah. Why could they got in but they couldn't get out. They got in, but couldn't get out. It's like the bar, motel, Hotel California. I mean, think about it. Bears don't know how to open a door, but how'd they get in? Well, they open the door to get in, but they don't know how to open. Well, there you go. You're. You just ate yourself. Okay, as the Genesis song goes, you got to get in to get out, right? Sure. The lamb lies down on Broadway. Oh, one of those original things. The Peter Gabriel lunatic. Genesis. Hey, look, I'm dressed as an amoeba. That's great. Let the drummer sing, for God's sake. We've got lots more to come here on the Bob and Tom show for a Tuesday. Coming up next hour, Greg Hawkins and some Frank Caliendo for you. But next, hooker's shirt, plus soda and a Pat Godwin classic. It's all next here on the Bob and Tom show. Bob and Tom, you met Lala Kent on Vanderpump rules now. Lala and her friends share everything on Give them Lala Bagel. Everybody says. I say that weird. It is ruined by a proposal story. How Jason proposed and she was like, he brought in a bunch of bagels. I was like, I have to stop this. I will punch you in the face if you ever tell this story again and call it a bagel. Let me tell you now, when I tell the story, I go, he went. And got breakfast. There you go. Bagels. Yeah. Watch what Lala is talking about on YouTube or search for Give them Lala wherever you listen. This is the Bob and Tom show. Welcome back. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios with the best of the Bob and Tom show. A lot of this stuff from just this past year, including this one. Hooker's shirt plus so and a Pat Godwin classic coming. Jess Hooker joins us fresh from the set. What's up? I mean, it's amazing that she had time because as you know, she's playing Charlie Sheen in these stage play of Two and a Half Men. You know, they're making a play out of everything. It's the shirt. I like it. I like it too. Seriously, what time is your bowling league? So start. It's comfortable. I like it. I think it looks. It's fun. But I also. I. I'm terrible with. I. I think bowling shirts look cool. I like bowling shirts. This is your style, right? The button down. Yeah. You just can't help yourself. It's all right. No, she looks great. It's so cute. But it looks like. Doesn't it look like one of those Charlie Sheen shirts? It is very much what it is. Two and a Half Men. And then when he left the show, he was. He cursed the greater of the show for making him wear those dumb shirts. Shirts. At least it's right. This is on the show, Chick. Did we get through the whole I'm Chick McGee at the Dude Wipe Sports Desk still using TP, huh? Dump your roll. Because wet cleans better than dry. That's just good science. Try dude wipes for the best clean. Pants down. Speaking of pants down, there's Josh Arnold. Oh, they're off, my friends. There's Ace Cosby and Hello, Tom. I can see my weenie coming up. We have. Thank you. We have pants in the news. I was really happy Flea was wearing pants pants at the closing ceremonies. Did you watch any of the red eyes? Flea was there. He's fun. Yeah, he is fun. He seems like he's a party. But then I thought, oh, Boy, I hope he's got something on under that skirt. Thank God he did, because, you know, Flea, there are times when he doesn't. Yeah, Great player. Oh, yeah. He started as a horn player. A lot of fun. Is that right? He was a marching band guy. Absolutely. Yeah. I played tuba. How about that? Before the break, we had a great. I was a lie email from our friend Alan, who's a sad dad today. I thought we all forgot about that. He was going to take his. Didn't we say we were coming back from the break to play this song? Pat hasn't played a song today. Yeah, I know. He's just sitting there. He was going to go to the upper peninsula of Michigan and take his kids to the shipwreck museum, but his kids got sick and they weren't able to go. Or they were faking again. They didn't want to go to the shipwreck that were real sick. And Alan was hoping that Mr. Godwin could help with his sorrows. You have a tribute song to one of the shipwrecks in the Great Lakes. The first draft of the. Is that right? It sits down below like the ship. We all know the rectum of Ella Fitzgerald. She'd skit when she sang and her bottom would bang. A disaster. When the winds would come early, her bottom would bang. She was a hefty gal. The Fitzgerald family emailed me, said, stop singing about poor Ella's rectum. I said, I'll do my best, but when Tom gets a request, it's very hard to reject them. If I told you what was going on right now, you wouldn't believe the doctor had said. Would always turn his head when performing her colon procedure. We need a beach towel and some hot water. Louis Armstrong. Very good. Oh, here's more coffee for you. Tom had a spill halfway through your song there. It wasn't coffee. It was iced soda water. Oh, my. I'm currently caressing my. Well, at least it won't stain. Yeah. How do you get ice soda water out of coffee? It's all over your pants. What do you have? It really is all over your leg there. You do this once a week. I need to go through and open those and let all the out before he brings them in here. And it was in a cup, I think. Oh, it was in a cup. Do you hear is. You can't navigate a soda bottle. You. He needs sippy cups. You need a sippy cup. That would have been. That would have. And I can't open the. I can't open the cream. It's too. I cut. I got to get a knife. He had chainsaw to open. I know I should. That was the greatest thing about the. One of the great things about the Justin Wilman show. The venue. Yeah. Has adult sippy cups, Jess. Do they really? Yes. With low alcohol. It had. It was a cup with a lid and you got to take it home. Great. Why don't they have the. I know where you were. Okay. Why don't they have the wine glass hat like they do the beer camp? Because the people behind you couldn't see. Thank you, Jess. But you just mean in general. Yeah, in general. I got on your deck with your friends with a straw running your mouth. Oh, yeah. Like you could put the bladders in there right now and laying in your driveway. Sorry. I'm back. Good. We missed you. Don't be sorry. We sort of enjoyed the break. Did you finish reading the states driving state fairs. You understand, if one of us had done that. Well, Chick ruined the show. He spilled something. It is state fair season. It's back to school season. Tom, how's back to school season in your house? Here's a tip, parents. Yeah. When. When someone comes by with one of their kids, don't go. Are you ready to go back to school? What are you nuts? I'm walking around with my girls and all these. I see various people walking the dogs. We're out there. And they always go to. So are you ready to go back to school? No kid's gonna go. I can't wait. Shut up. Some of the younger kids. Their kids like. I agree, Tom. I would rather. So how has your summer been? I think. Is it. Yeah. You say having fun? Yeah. You know. Hey, did you go to the fair? You could go, hey, is your. You think your dad's gonna come back? Stuff like that. And then we. Out of. We. This is. I had. Not to describe this, but for. For whatever reason, the. The fire alarm went off at my house the other night. Of course, just a. One room just ablaze. For whatever reason. He just lives on Clown Alley, doesn't he? No, it was stuff going on all the time. It involved. It involved the placement of a. A fire in a house? No, A. What is it? A detecting device that was too close to a shower? Oh, yes. I used to have one. And the girls were in there playing grabass. Yes, the little girls. And so they. It shot off the fire alarm and I didn't. I had no idea what to do. And of course, the fire department. There is never a dull moment. They were. They were Very nice. The fire department showed up. Oh, yeah, because it's. It's a lot. Doesn't that cost you thousands? Yeah, it might be good to. Come on. Why? Why? So what do you mean? I thought when an alarm goes off at your house, they call you first and say, hey, we gotta detect. Yeah, I didn't. You missed that call. Right. I was busy doing. And you didn't know your password, and so they showed up. Yeah, If I have one more password, I'm just gonna jump off the Eiffel Tower. The point is get arrested. I was talking to one of my neighbors the day, and he goes, yeah, we saw the fire truck show up at your house. And my wife said, tom's probably had a heart attack. Oh, God. What caring neighbor. Yeah, isn't that nice? Know. Oh, wow. Oh, there seems to be something going on across the street. Yeah, Tom's probably had a heart attack. Oh, my goodness. I'll have you know my heart's in perfect condition. Well, I would think better than was with all the parts that added to it. Especially that one cow part. Yeah. As a matter of fact, the cow that donated that piece of heart is in here at the studio. Lucky they have two of them. Oh, hi. How are you? Oh, Bessie, it's nice to see you. So. So my part point is, don't. When you see a kid go, so, you ready to go back to school? Come on. Yeah, because you're just forcing them to answer politely. Yeah. So, yeah, instead of. They just want to go, no, I'm having too much fun. Yeah, I'm riding my bike. I'm being a kid. But school. Some kids are ready, man. They're ready. They like it. See, Their moms are ready, I guarantee. Remember finding out who your teacher was going to be? Oh, that's huge. We would find out like a month before school. We don't. We. We found out the day before. So I just called all my nieces and I said, who'd you find out your teacher was? And it's on an ad app. So they get assigned on an app and parents can look it up. And do you have the thing then where, you know, the other parents call and, well, I see you got Mrs. McGillicuddy. Everyone wants her. How come you got her? Yes. Well, because we deserve her and you don't. We paid for everything else in this life. Calm down. Have you ever bribed a school to get the teacher that your kids wanted? Of course. No. By bribe, what do you mean? I have donated my time a bunch so that I Could. So I could decide. Yeah. I just want to say God bless the teachers. Okay. Right now to start. Yeah. Ask a teacher what you would ask of a kid. Yeah. So you ready to go back to school? Yeah. You mean after this delightful summer of doing what I wanted to do? No. And by the way, it should be illegal for schools to start before Labor Day. I said it. And I mean it. Next. I agree with you. Labor Day to Memorial Day. Obviously we're never going to go back to that. Yeah, we were July 29th. What if we could prove that's what school started? School started. Are you on that balance schedule? It's because, you know, with no air conditioning and global warming, they want the kids to boil. There's a school system in this state that's going to a four day week. Did you see that? That's amazing. Yeah. Monday through Thursday. Oh, I'd be interested to see how that works out for the working parents. That's great. They just have to. Right. Quit their jobs, find child care. That extra. What's the matter with what we were doing? You know, we did okay. Look how we turned out. There really was nothing. We turned the world into a sweet pile of manure. Not do. Okay. I was kidding. Yeah, I think you guys did. You did pretty good. Well, that's only because I wasn't in charge of anything when I was in grade school. It was Labor Day to Memorial Day. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. And now look at me and June. I'm an idiot. First week in June was the last week of school. And then right after Jerry's telethon and back to school. No, we were both athletes in high school. Oh yes, that's right. Well, no, no list this athletes is a stretch of a word, but yes. Nevertheless. Participant in the sports. Uhhuh. Double session started mid. Mid August. Right. First two weeks of August was conditioning. That's where you wore your helmet and your cleats. And the second two weeks were two a day. So they start that now. When? On June 1st. I don't know when. July. Yeah. Yeah. Moratorium week is the week of July 4th. And that's when all sports have to take the week off. They have to take that whole week off. And now that used to be. You couldn't start now coaches can be with them year round. Except for that one. For that one week. Yeah. We. We started show choir rehearsal underground though. Right now. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Josh Arnold. The show choir. Yeah, we have to erase that. We're coming right back with more Frank Caliendo. Impressionist comedian. He's coming up in just a minute here on the Bob and Tom Show, Jeff Roth. Pan. So you're in airplanes all the time? Yeah, always on the airplanes. And I got that pilot. You ever got the pilot who talks the whole time? Oh, yeah. And he thinks. He's like a radio guy, you know, he thinks, hey, I know everybody is there. You're a captain here in the cockpit. Like, where else is he gonna be? In the bathroom? Of course he's in a cockpit. And they're always telling us how many feet were going up. I never got. I never understood that. Why, why. Why are they telling us how many feet we're flying up? Because I'm a passenger and he's busy going on about, hey, we're gonna be with our altitude 36000ft. Hey, I'm a passenger. Just go above the mountains and the trees. That's all I need. That's all I know. Go high. What do I care? I'm not writing this down. 33 or 36,000. What does it say? What's it say on the gauge? How's our fuel? The hell cares? Tell the tower how many feet, please. Let everyone else know you know, but don't tell me you know, it just keeps going on and on. It just drives me nuts. And then when you're up there, they start pointing out things you don't care about. Like, for those just sitting on the left side of the plane, if you look out your window, there's a cloud shaped like a duck. What? Son of a bitch woke me up again. I can't take it. And then you have people from the other side wanting to climb over you to look. That's right, that's right, that's right. Yeah, the people. Yeah, that's the thing. The people on the other side of the plane, it's true. They're always getting screwed. One side of the plane's always getting screwed. They never see anything. Oh, yeah, you know, the left side of the plane, there's the Grand Canyon on the right side. Well, you can look at the people looking out the left side. Look how. Look at their faces, they're so amazed. The only thing I never understood is why whenever a plane goes down, they look for that flight recorder. I know comedians have brought this up before, but I cannot figure out why they look for it, because I can't imagine a pilot explaining, you know, in the tape recorder what happened as they're crashing. Because, you know, the pilot's like the rest of us. He's Screaming and cursing all the way down on that thing. And that's all they hear. I think that's all they hear is cursing all the way down. I can't imagine a pilot getting on there. Okay, we just hit a mountain. My fault, My fault. Here's what happened. Damn it. Really sorry. We're fuselage. Clip the wing there is what I did. I clipped the wing. Just so they know this when we crash. Not gonna hear that. You know, by the way, you can see our left wing out the right side. Hey, for those of you that have been getting cheated the whole flight on the left side of the plane. Now you can see here's the big bonus that's right on the right side. You finally get to see some trees coming up really fast there. Look at those. He just wouldn't shut up the whole time. That's right. Apologize about the black smoke on the left side of the plane. That's right. Yeah. I was pointing out something to him and I'm really sorry. That's what happened. Truly was. Free booze. Hurry. Free booze. Sorry. Free drinks for everyone. And while we're spinning out of control, just want to thank all our passengers. What the hell? We know you had a choice in airlines and you picked wrong. You picked the wrong one because we're going down. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show here on a Tuesday morning, last day of 2024. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. The gang is back in here live next Monday. Boy, he. He was here a lot this year and a lot of great stuff. We're doing some more comedian impressionist Frank Caliendo. We have. Frank Caliendo has joined us in the studio. Yes. Yay. He's a very handsome man. One person, Frankie C. Hey, what was that, friend? How you doing, Frankie? How you doing? Come on, smoke a cigar with us. I'm fine. And a Willie's here. You told me. I thought you wanted me to come down so we could tell stories about the road. Oh, I was kidding. No, I don't. We don't have any time for you today. Lunch. My sisters later, I guess. I don't know. Frank Caliendo is going to be doing a bunch of gigs with Willie. It looks like. Yeah. Brookfield, Wisconsin, at the Milwaukee Improv. Yes. That's a mile from where I grew up. I was gonna say that's your home court. It is. Yeah. My dad will be there with the Frank Caliendo T shirt on. All right. Wonderful. Really wonderful. Who said wonderful? I did. Yeah. That was. Man, I Gotta get him correct. I gotta somehow get a Josh Arnold half fat T shirt to Frank's dad to wear. I'll tell you what, I'll tell. I want him to wear it. I would encourage that. Have never met Frank's dad. I thought my dad was embarrassing. Wow. Is that right? I'm not being. He would get. He walks around the show before the show starts. Hey, how you doing? I'm Frank's dad. Oh, everybody. I can't. I love you. He signs pictures for people, tells them he has a radio show. And he doesn't. No, he does. Oh, I see what you're saying. No, he, yeah, he, he will wear. He'll where? Old Frank Caliendo. Me. His name's Frank as well. His middle name is different. So he's Frank H. I'm Frank L. But they call me, you know, I'm a junior for all practical purposes. But he walks around signing things. Frank Caliendo Sr. Pictures of me. Mind you, I love it. Yeah, it's really fun the first time for people. But if they multiple shows and then he will start telling them about his ailments. I got two new knees. I got two new knees. Wanna see me run? And then he'll do like the 40 foot D in the club. I mean, all this, you can ask Willie. That's why I brought him as a witness. I love it. I love that. So was this the first impression that you as an impressionist as a kid was the first one you did? Was that your dad? No, I had to pretend he wasn't there. My dad embarrassed me so much growing up. I mean, he was one of those, like we would be at Chuck E. Cheese and he would, he does one voice, Donald Duck. He does it pretty well. But he would do that. And I'm like, you know, I'm 10, 12 year old kid. Not probably not 12, probably 10 year old kid. I'm like, dad, that's a different mouse. Not Mickey Mouse, that's Chuck E. Cheese. And you know, so he's doing the Donald Duck voice everywhere. And I just always was very difficult. It's part of why I have a lot of the problems that I have. It's just, you know, I'm good at speaking to a group but not good in groups. He thinks because he was a minor league baseball player and I played baseball group growing up. So he, he thinks it's like a sport where you go, I, you know, where you're gonna maybe go two for two. And he'll, you know, counsel me on a strikeout. Or something like that. What's the. No, you know, don't go through the jokes with me afterwards. Yeah, my dad did that too. I. My dad's still doing it. 25 years later, my dad would still be doing it. Where's the shirt? Where's the shirt? A couple years ago. Hey, Josh, why. Why your dad do it now? Oh, boy. He died. Oh, I. I was trying to say it the way I. No, I got it. I got it. Oh, yeah, I understood. I understood. Big fan of yours, by the way. What was that? Big fan of yours. Oh, he was. He. At my shows, he would walk around the aunts go, I'm a big fan of Frank G. Why? Wearing your shirt. Wearing my shirt. Signing pictures of me with my den cre. Wow. We one step too far. Frank's dad walked up to me after I opened for Frank last time, and he goes, hey, maybe you could be part of my comedy group. Yo, dude, what is that? Now? I love and so I love everything about. As do I. This is so wonderful. That's what he said. Friday, and I'll. Admittedly, Friday, I had kind of a weird set. It was like, Friday, early show, the crowd's like, just getting back from work. I had kind of a weird set. And then Saturday, first show, not to toot my own horn, I killed it. I had a great set. And Frank walks inside and. And he goes, you know what? That was much better than last night. Yes, he did. I was there. He did. I know. And I love the accent you get. My. My dad has a normal Midwestern, but we all do. We all do it kind of like this. Yeah, kind of like this. What are you doing? Good. You're much better. You're getting better every night. He's a made guy. Does he. Does he still live in the house you grew up in? Yes, yes, he does. He refuses to leave now. Do you stay there when you're in town? No, no, I stay. It's the. I. I stay as far away from that place. It's like pulling up to the Munsters. It's what? It's like. Oh, God, that's crazy. I mean, it is like there is still. I have a scar. This isn't like Harry Potter. I'm not the chosen one. There is a scar on my forehead where I tripped on a long shoelace. My shoe was untied. I stepped on the shoelace and landed into the brick next to the door. There's still blood. Blood. 50, 40 some years later, nobody's wiped the blood off of that brick. It's still there. And it's, it's. He doesn't. No, I don't see it as my son's blood. You want him to sign it right here. He's got some of my blood. Let me poke my finger here. You know, this is how they used to do it when I was a kid. Does he, does he shout out requests in the middle of your show? No, I will say my dad's here. How come I don't got better sheep Every time. Every time. It's like Jeff Dunham and Walter. That's. But that's got to kill. How come I don't got better. Oh yeah, and it's. It's a. It's not even have. It's got. How come I don't got better seats? And I, and I have a. I have a reply. The restraining order. Oh, that's say stuff like you're not doing enough Madden. You know Madden, that's how, that's what that launch. How about some anti cookie? You know she wasn't really a cookie. Cookie. Right. You could use that, Frank. Oh, I love it. Oh yeah, no, it's really fun for a lot of people the first time. Frank Caliendo is our guest. Speaking of cookies, why don't we just check in. Kind of a sad note in the world of news. Christy, you got that story? Yes, I do. Hold on a second. I'm nervous. I haven't heard any sad. Well, the guy that brought us Famous Amos cookies has passed away. Oh boy. I know. Wally Amos was 88. He died Tuesday. Mr. Amos started famous Amos way back in 1975 when he used a twenty five thousand dollar loan from a few friends in Hollywood to open a store in LA that would eventually become a $12 million company by 1981. I showed up on Shark Tank one year. And then a couple weeks ago, Richard Simmons died. Famous anus by all accounts a lovely man who never anchored anyone to help people bring some help into their lives. I'm just Famous Andy Joke. You know Richard Simmons, I once saw him. I was doing a news show in New York City. I was really fat at the time. And he came up and started singing to me. You. Well, yeah. No. Yes. And I could. Didn't figure it out until I looked in the mirror, cuz nobody had told me for a while. I think he thinks I'm one of his clients. Yeah, that was. I remember him just. He grabbed my face. It was like. You remember when he was. He was in here. Yeah, he. He was very strong. A lot of energy. A lot of energy. Yes. Yes. Helped a lot of people. So sorry. Didn't mean to be mean. Talk show. Why do I remember that? He had a. He had a. I know. He was kind of omnipotent. Yeah. Everywhere. Yeah. Was it something with the oldies? What? Was it sweating? Yeah, that was a deep DVD collection. He probably made 500 mil off enough to buy some more peppermint striped shorts. Yeah, they were adorable. Aren't they? I've just been told there was a porn movie called Famous Anus. Is that right? Should have known. Is that an Alexis Texas feature? Can we have any of these responses curated in any way? I can't help it. Some friend of mine just something texted me. That's terrific. Rob. It wasn't. Right now you're gonna have to. I was trying to make Rob laugh. Okay, let's see. Now, in any event. Yes. Sad to see. Famous. He was in Hawaii. Mr. Amos had retired and was living in Hawaii. Okay. He had a nice life. Roaches. Yeah, roaches. Oh. Oh, yeah. Biggest small dogs. Over the recipe for Famous Amos cookies, by the way. He used real ingredients, no coloring or chemicals, and kept it as close to handmade as possible, even as his company exploded into national distribution. I'll be honest, not my favorite cookies. They may crack the top 10, but they're not in the top five. Oh, I like them. I like the little ones that come in the bag. They're dry. They're dry. In the story. They must have been really good because if something packaged is that famous, the original must have been in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's hard to dry. It's hard to package them and have them maintain. Yeah, I agree. Hey, you like your cookies wet. What are you doing? Don't you think there was a little bit of. It was hip in la, whoever invested? Probably. Maybe. Oh, sure. Yeah. First, probably. Yeah. I remember being a kid when Chips Ahoy. That was. But then chewy Chips Ahoy came out and I mean, really changed your life. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Now Frank Caleando's here with Frank. What's your favorite, favorite? Go to snack. Wow, you're quite slender. Now, there was a time when you were a little more of a beef cadet. Yeah, I mean, I still eat a bunch of. Sorry I cut you off on that. I mean, it's true. But you just said you were a little chubby. No, you're right. I'm not. I'm not denying it. Yeah, he said he was a little chubby. That's quite different from. Not a beef cadet. No, I think he's right. I just. I'm sorry I cut off the punchline is more of what it was. No, that. That's a great but was there a snack food that helped assist you in the blowing up of and I thought the famous anus stuff was bad helped you achieve the unnatural largeness. Willie and I text back and forth. How awkward do you think your dad can make it? Really awkward. It's just crazy the stuff he's trying imagine. Yeah yeah, you're right. This is him trying to be kind subtle. I'm trying to think what it actually. Oh you know what it would be the. The. The brownies. They're a mix that are at the. My wife will make them Ghirardelli. Yes. Yeah. Ghirardelli Brown. Talk about moist killer like the triple quadruple chocolate chocolate chunk that she puts more chocolate chips in there. Oh you know a beef cadet. I can feel it. I can feel it starting to happen here these cadets reporting for duty, sir. I shouldn't have drank from the chocolate river and a goose is stupor of what what person is the most corpulent person that you do an impression of? Wow. I. Well, old school would have been Farley. The Chris Farley. I'm trying to think well how does he sound? Well, kind of like this. Hey, nice to see you. Amos. How realize you get here's Richard Simmons. He's over on the side of me right now. Talk. John Madden. Yeah, I mean I'm right here. I mean we're all here and we're just sitting around waiting for Frank to do impressions of us together. Madden Big, big man. Yeah. I mean you think of all the people that you. You can think of and then all the people that you can't think of and between those two sets of people, I mean. I mean I'm gonna be right in there. How tall was John Madden? How tall was he? Yes. Yeah, I think he was about 6, 3, 64 when I met him. I finally met him in Dallas and he was a monstrosity of like a mountain. Like it was like going to see Jabba the Hutt. I mean. Oh, okay. It was a big. It was. He's big. Big dude and Barkley's big. Barkley. Yeah. Are you just doing segues now? Well, I'm just. I was kind of thinking of Tom's answers to Tom's question. Okay. I was trying to think. I thought you were just going through the Rolodex. No, no, no, trust me. I don't want to hear these. We have no idea it out if you want. I think between the two, I'm doing great. I did park in the spot outside that said guest. Anybody? Anybody realize. Yeah, I'm trying to think of some of the fattest people, which is what people yell out at the end. Like, if I haven't done something with the people. No, that's what they'll say. They're like, john. How about John Candy? I'm like, you're just picking fat people. Shuffles from the Goonies. Do the Truffle shuffle. Come on. I know. We were going to head back over to the sports desk. What's going on? Olympics wrap up. Kind of. Experts are dispelling a growing conspiracy theory, Tom, that Australian breakdancer Ray Gun manipulated her way into the Olympics. According to an extensive article from vox. And you know what they say, as VOX goes, so goes the Olympics. Rumors have been circulating over how Australian B girl Ray Gunn, whose real name is Rachel Gunn, got a spot in the Paris Games following her controversial performance. Change.org petition alleges that 36 year old and her husband manipulated the World Dance Sport Federation WDSF system to allow Ms. Gunn to judge herself in a qualifying cont competition. Breaking experts, however, have challenged those allegations. So, yeah, so apparently it was legit, but nonetheless, it's the only thing people are talking about when it comes to break. By the way, I didn't know that LA decided not to have breakdancing. Well, before the Paris Olympics, it made more sense to me to have LA introduce breakdancing. Paris goes. Although I think it may be, to Tom's points, more of an international. It may be. It's bigger in Japan. It's bigger elsewhere than it is. Josh, perhaps you could go over for Frank how Tom felt about breakdancing. Embarrassing, humiliating. International tragedy. He was. Tom was humiliated, Frank, that they had breakdancing. Really. You know, I was a breakdancer when I was younger. Is that right? I've stopped recently to go into the ping pong world, but I was on a team called the Nighthawks that worked out of the YWCA in Waukesha. Badass. Nice. Yeah, we. We weren't the Waukesha breakers, but I was only on the theme for like a month before it disbanded. But I got there, I got to a demo and I did my. What people would call the Windmill. I got my signature move in. I got about three or four rotations. That's good. Yeah, no, I was pretty good. I was the best at my school. Nice, man. Great school. Yeah, yeah. Do you have your own cardboard things? I Did linoleum. Linoleum. Linoleum. And the pledge. You spray the pledge and the lid, and I could spin at tremendous speeds. Do you have a boombox? I had a couple of boomboxes. There's no stopping. Yeah. You are stunned. There he goes. There he goes. I mean. Oh, geez. He. He blew his meniscus. We're gonna talk to Greg Hahn coming up in the next segment, plus some vibrators and some waiters as well. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Comedian John Evans is here with us. Anything else we need to know about your life? Well, the last time I was here, I just picked up those Learn how to scat audio tapes. I don't know if you remember that. I did not know that. You don't remember that. They send alphabetically. They send you a new band each month. So the first one I got was AC dc, and I've pretty much got that one down. It's like, click, click, click, click, click, click. The guy in the airplane is like, can I move away from this jackass? Did I get right? Is it wayana way? Got a phone call here. Wow. Morning, Bob and Tom show. Hey, fellas. Hey, Floyd. I enjoyed your scatting. Hey, thanks, Floyd. That was. That was comedian John Evans. You got a lot of songs, I bet, don't you? Oh, yeah, I got. You want to hear Cat Scratch Fever? I sure would enjoy it. Wait a minute here I write. And Granny White and Wheat and Weedy Harry. It's a gift or a curse. Did you do Legend of Woolly Swallow? We're back now with more of the Bob and Tom show on a Tuesday. This is Christopher here in the Bob and Tom studios. How about one with Greg Hahn? And we're talking vibrators and waiters in the same segment. Boy, hang on to something. In the interview loft. It's comedian Greg Han. Not a loft. Great to be here. He's in a chair sitting. Thank you so much. Great to see you, Greg. For Micah, that we are fun to be here doing my sense of humor routine. Nice. And this is not for Micah. I'll have you know. Whatever. All of us coran. We got the corporate gigs. You know, I should start doing keynotes. That's what we need to do, Josh. Yeah. Keynotes. You know what I mean? Yeah. Symposiums in excellence. You're right. Yes. Killing it in the modern era. I think you'd be terrific at it. What to wear after you've lost your shirt. We need some feed. You know what I mean? Yes. Yes. So if you're if your company's having a really bad year. Yeah. What to wear after you've lost. Down and out. We'll get you and in. Yeah. Very good. We Already just sold 50 tickets. These are all great ideas. Let's go over to the SILAC news disc because I can see Christy Lee is there with her glasses still. But not for long. For long. Christy's getting the surgery. She's going to be getting those terminator eyes where she can look at somebody and the name prints out. Did that. I think. I believe that would freak me out. I think if you're. If it was inside your eyes. Well, it's augmented reality. Right. It absolutely exists. It's all happening. Ah, good thing I'm old. It'll soon be mandatory. A common tool that could. Could be used to help relieve migraine headaches. Is it a can opener? And you're going to be quite surprised. No, it's not a can opener. Am I close? No. Auger. Is it a whisk? No. According to wired spatula, it's a vibrator. What? Of course. Something sexual. The unconventional approach has historic roots. Back in 1892, Bedoire balls cures the common cold done by a man. Neurologist Jean Martin Charchaud observed that Parkinson's patients showed improvements in their tremors after carriage rides. So he created a shaking chair to recreate the therapeutic effects. One of his students extended. Aren't you already shaking? Yeah, it just looks like they're not shaking because they finally. They get them lined up so when it goes left, you go left. If you look at a bobblehead and shake your head, the bobblehead doesn't look like it's moving. That's all this. There's a lot going on out there. Do we have. One of the students extended the technique to treat migraines using a vibrating helmet. Now researchers are revisiting vibration therapy. In a small pilot study, a catheter with a vibrating balloon was inserted into the nostril of migraine sufferers. Half were completely pain free. After 15 minutes of vibration therapy. Researchers believe vibration holds promise as a non invasive option to offer a better quality of life for the migraine sufferer. Boy, could this. This is interesting. Where are you going to get a vibrator that small? Stick up your nose some of those bullets. Oh, yeah, right. No, I mean the idea is you take a common vibrator and stick it against your nose or your head. Stick it against your head, presumably. I mean, it depends where you have the pain. What if you have Hemorrhoids. What if you have a sore throat? Well, if you have hemorrhoids, I think. I would imagine the key is keeping it in the outside. Doesn't an orgasm help treat a headache? An orgasm helps everything. Yeah. I don't know. Trying to think if I've ever had a headache. Had an orgasm, and then the headache was gone. No headache, huh? We'll sit here while you think. Well, this is kind of interesting now. Do you have a vibrator? The big kind. The. Sorry, sorry. The episiotomy. Wait a minute. Let me back up. Didn't Sadie Allison give you the one? It's. That's. It's like bigger than a flashlight and it's got sort of the big. It looks like a huge microphone in the end. Didn't she give you one of those. It's like those. Back massager. Yes, I passed that a lot. I do not have that. You gave it two. Your daughter, I mean, she said she passed it along. I did not. Couldn't you hold that against your head? Yeah, sure. You could. Okay. Absolutely. You had one of those gigantic, huge back vibrators, and it just. You're crippled the next day. I've been. Yeah, the. The guns. I don't know, Whatever. You know, this is great. You can't walk. Gotta get it out of the house immediately. I got everybody those for Christmas. I love it. I use it on my calves a lot. I use it on my penis now. Do you. Do you. Josh had some important. Is this simultaneously with your anal beads or if I wanted to. Yeah, the vibrating ones. Now, are those battery powered? Is there a cord coming out your butt? There's a cord that plugs into the wall. I can't walk too far. Oh, that's like getting punched in the. This is interesting. Vibration therapy. There's the one I know that you really love. Is that when that. That thing they give you at the Cheesecake Factory. Buzzes, meaning your table's ready. I told you that in confidence. I. I don't want them wondering why they're missing a bunch of those. Those do buzz rather loud, don't they? My grandma used to call them vibrators. She. When we. We'd be at the Olive Garden, she'd be like, oh, my vibrator. Well, that's because she held it between her legs. I don't really like the food. I don't come here to eat. Yeah. I come here to be paid. Do you suppose restaurants lose a lot of those? Oh, I'm sure people probably forget they can't use those anymore, Right. They just take your phone number. There's an app. That's usually what they do now. Yeah, no, just use your phone. Just add one. Of course you did, just recently. Oh, really? You got there. Covid must have. Have put an end to a lot of those, I would think. Here, hold this thing that everybody else held. What are you doing with. No. No menus at the table? Well, you don't really ask for a menu anymore, do you? Or ever. That's right. But if you have the QR code, you. Do you prefer a hard menu or the QR code? He prefers a hard menu. To thrust back. Thrust back at the server. I usually. If whoever I'm with, I'll ask them what they think and then. See, I don't like reading menus. I've been reading all day. I need a break. To a restaurant, they hand you a piece of paper, that's the menu, and you just want to get up and leave. What do you mean, a piece of paper? You're just printing out a menu and handing to me. The food can't be prepared as well as. Maybe it's a new menu every day. I hate those places. You'll eat what we have. Sure. Yeah. Well, I guess that is every restaurant. But make up your mind. Oh, today we only have this. Well, that's what you wanted to find. Well, then. Well, of course you do, Miss Fancy Pants. I do? Yes. You know the trick with restaurants? Order for the lady. Oh, yeah. Right, right. How does it work? I get myself out of the way first. I'll say I'll take the filet. Lobster tail, nice Merlot. And for the lady? Hot dog, small milk. You're concerned about. How do you feel about the. The thing now where they hand you their. It looks like it's like a giant calculator and you have to shove your card in it and fill it all out right there. Well, I can tell that you don't care for. No, I'm all right with that. But I mean, there's a. You talk about a germ factor. I know. Much more so than the vibrating. Yeah, but there's also the security factor because your car doesn't leave your possession. That's the key with that. Because a lot of people are getting their stuff stolen from their cards being taken away. Didn't you always like the. They put their order patent in the back of their pants. Didn't you always like that? No. Right up against their ass crack. Yeah. The waiter comes up and he's got the thing shoved in his ass. It's in his back pocket. No, no, it's right there up against his gluteal collapse. Where were you eating? Andy had a shirt tucked in. I would thought right. Oh, no, no. Was he wearing a crop? Oh, you know, this is like the guy crawling under the car. Are you eating g G strings again? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a nice place. Well, I liked it better when there was just lady waitresses. Lady waitresses. Opposed to, you know. Okay, that's our current leader in the clubhouse. For the oldest thing a man can say the whole sentence. I liked it better when there were just lady waitress. Well, it's g strings. Oh, G strings. G strings. You think you want. You want. You want the man, huh? We. We thought you meant just in general. Lady wa. We didn't realize you were just talking about. Coming up next hour here on the Bob and Tom show, Reno Collier plus Gian Marco Cerisi is coming up, so stand by for that. Ryan Singer, though, is next. This is the Bob and Tom show. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show on this Tuesday morning, New Year's Eve morning. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Well, how about a segment with comedian Ryan Singer talking some baseball cards, some bad pans, some nipple rings. And we were talking about. Ryan, your life. Yours are very successful in terms of you're being satisfied with what you're doing in life, which is great. You are currently. Is it couch surfing? Technically. Technically, I think you would say couch. Yeah, couch surfing. You know, if I'm lucky, I'm bed surfing. But mostly. Mostly couch couch surfing. Where's your stuff? My stuff is in my apartment. Oh, okay. That you can't get into. That I can't get into. And by stuff, it's mostly just baseball cards and books, which. All right. Which I guess says a lot about me as a person. I mean, my last girlfriend was like, you know, if you would have spent more money on me than your baseball cards, we'd still be together. And I was like, well, do you increase in value over time? Are you destined for the hall of fame? I don't see you listed in the bucket. Do you have a cherished baseball card? Is there one that is special meaning to you? Well, you know, I just got. Because it just happened. Because the cards just came out. I just got an La de La Cruz shortfriend rookie card, which I'm very excited. I haven't even got it in the mail yet, but I have a Hunter green autograph, his very first card from 2018. That is, you know, because I'm such a homer for the Cincinnati Reds. So. But yeah, so those are probably the. And I also have an Arnold Palmer. I have to say that. So I have a hard time saying that. His name. The. An autographed like from the Masters or from your field village or something. Like one of those golf bag tags that I got as a kid from. From my dad. Whoa. Which is probably my prized memorabilia. That's cool. You know, that's cool. That's really cool. That's a very specific item that. Yeah. That's awesome. Arnie's Army. Tom. Arnie's Army. All right. My brother has the. And I'll never forget the day he opened up the pack and actually came across the card, the Billy Ripken F face on the bottom of the bag. Oh, on the bottom of. Yeah, he has that. Yeah, yeah. My younger brother. My youngest brother has it now. But my older brother opened the pack because we had heard tell of it. And so we were. We always get the oddball stories about auctions and stuff. Going for crazy amounts yesterday, wasn't it, what was it the bathing suit of? Princess leia. Princess Leia. 178 or $75,000. I have it somewhere. We have a story today. 175,000 bathing suit. It was the gold bikini that she wore. It was hardly. She wasn't swimming. They do call it the gold bikini, I guess, but it's a huddy and slave suit. Okay. There you go. From Jabba. That's right. Was it Hannah? Han? Jabba. No, it wasn't Han. Jabba. Oh, Han Solo. Although Jabba, of course had Han frozen in carbide. Like I had no idea what he was. If you played your cards right, you might have gotten a Han Java from that chick at the Starbucks. Let's see, where was I? Oh, I know. So I was actually leading into the story about a forthcoming auction involving bedpans. Did I give you that? Yeah. A woman in the UK is looking for a buyer for her bedpan company collection sulpholk news reports. 77 year old Mary Jacobs has been collecting bedpans. Is that right? Since 1984. Chick. And currently owns 160 of them. Anything of note or just different bedpans? She's been looking for a new home for her bedpans as she has run out of space, but failed to find a buyer for them after putting them up for auction earlier this month. I hope they go to a good home. They're clean, washed and in fantastic condition. Lightly used but it doesn't say where they came from or. Are there any famous. No, got nothing. Are they all different? Are they antique? Boy, has technology in the bedpan industry changed much over the years? I think so. I mean, certainly the shape and design. Not all of them look like the hospital bedpans that. No, they don't call them. I didn't think they called them bedpans anymore. Chamber pots. No, chamber pots back in the day. But the bedpan isn't supposed to be used while in the sack. Well, the plastic. There are plastic. Plastic urinals and things like that that you use now. So they're not all this. Yes, because they're not the stainless steel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So it's not like, you know, cat on a hot tin roof anymore when you're going. Well, they got those you can put in your car, too, for when you're traveling. Oh, they do? Yeah. You can buy those online. Oh, yeah. Like the. The on the go. Yeah. And they have some that attach to the bumper. The. What the hell? They. Caller Hitch. Yes. Thank you. You. Thank you. Oh, here's a. Here's a picture of the woman with her collection. Oh, yeah. So those are clearly. There are some that are clearly ceramic, what you would call chamber pots. Yes, yes, yes. Well, she's old. Yeah, she's very. Does she limit it to those? She also have colostomy bags. Right, right. She has a couple hats. You can crap. She. Does she. Does she look. Does she look down on the guy we had two weeks ago that was collecting the barf bags from airlines? That guy's just crazy. Is he considered some kind of loser? Some of these are quite ornate. They have a new slipper. Slipper Ped. Bedpan. That one has all kinds of writing on it. And one of them says, perfection. You must have done a good job. Although the writing on that one is very. It says here I sit all brokenhearted to crap and only. Yeah. Farted. I just thought they were all stainless steel, metal looking. Judging by her age, she probably should hang on to at least one of them. Now. Now. Yeah, yeah. Don't sell all of them. Yeah, you might. You might want. You might need that one. Well, aren't you. She should lie and say that. You know, this is. This was Sir Isaac Newton's. And this was. Now, who would dispute her, right? This was Oscar Wilde's. You can tell from the blood. Oh, Andre. Oh, my goodness. Andre and apparent. I'd use a tubed. Sorry. Authorities in Washington state, as she said. Moving on. Say a man stole $1,500 worth of nipple rings from a Tacoma tattoo and piercing shop. Surveillance footage. So they're. So they're hot. And stolen. Doesn't hot nipple rings sound like a video surveillance footage captured at Skin City Tattoo and Piercing Supply? I'm going to Skin City. Going to Hel. Shows a man grabbing a tray full of nipple rings and running out of the store in broad daylight. Hey, chick. How was your date last night? Did you. Oh, I pulled into Skin City. What a gross way to say. Sure did. I kind of like it a trifle. Yeah. Ken Pler, who was working behind the counter when the theft occurred, told KCPQ it's a lot of letters, isn't it? That they are already receiving tips after images of the perp were posted online. Anyone with information about the incident has been asked to contact the Pierce County Sheriff's Department in Tacoma, Washington County. Pierce County. Little on the nose isn't right. Hat on a hat, Anybody? Okay, Christy, if you were to get nipple piercings, would you go for studs or, like, hoops? Hoops. Well, that was a quick answer. No, don't. Don't think about drinking hoops. I think they look better, but what if they get caught on something? That would be my. I think that is a thing. Yeah, that would be my worry. What about the danglers? Yeah. Have you ever considered danglers? You know, the. Like, they look like Christmas ornaments. I've not seen those. You know, they kind of like the pasties. Yeah, like a pasty. Like, almost like. Yeah, they spin a rooney. Like you graduated. What the hell are those? Yeah, it's like a castle. The spinner rooney. Yeah. So you're. You're implying that there's some kind of bedroom dance going on, a little gyration happening? Don't they have them that you don't have to get pierced? Like, they're just clip on. Clip on. Yes. Those are so ghost. They kind of like, they slip. It's like wearing a fake tie. Just. It doesn't have the. They look just the same. Tom, have you ever seen Elvira? She would wear the dangly, dangly tassels, and she could spin one and they could spin the other, and then she could spin them opposite ways and the same way. She is a skilled, skilled tassel spinner. Elvira. How weird. Oh, it is a. It's weird's the story or the words you're looking for. Josh loves it. Look at him. Well, I mean, anything. Elvira, also. So this guy still. How many nipple rings? Just an entire trifle yeah. An entire tray full. Fifteen hundred dollars worth. I don't know what a good nipple ring costs. Now, obviously, both men and women can have nipple rings. Sure. Is there a distinction? I don't think so. It's. I don't think piercings of any kind have distinction. A Prince Albert, I believe, would be exclusively for men. But that's where it's placed, isn't it? Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, yeah. The Prince Albert is the penile piercing, which turns your male member into one of those water wiggle things. I can't imagine a qualified urologist recommending. Oh. What you need to do. You know, Josh, your problem is you don't have enough piercings on your male member. Oh, thanks. I'm getting a second opinion. Doc Ryan, have you had any piercings? I. I have my ears pierced. Oh, okay. Still from when I was, I think, what, 16 or 17. Yeah. So both years are pierced. You still wear them? Every once in a while. I'll. You know, I'll. I'll dingle. Dangle. Yeah. Re. Pierce them. You know, I've got. So I like to wear Shungite because it's, you know, I'm into crystals, so. Or. Oh, gotcha. You know, Shungite, supposed to protect you from your electromagnetic. So if I've got my AirPods in, I'll put my Shungite in to protect me from the. Whatever. Sure. You get it. But it's. Wow, you just lost me. Well, I never. If we were dating to be out when he lives to be 140 and we're all in. Okay, who will be laughing now? Alone by himself with no one to hear it. Yes. Yeah. Couch surfing while wearing diapers. A. Ryan. Wow, that's. You're just into that weird stuff, are you? Oh, I love that. Are the earrings made of crystals then? Well, the earrings are made of crystals. Yeah. So, like, the specific crystal will be mounted into the copper or, you know, the. The sterling silver. Would you wear a crystal nipple ring? You know, I. I have very sensitive. I don't, you know, very sensitive nipples. Like, you know, they don't like to be talked about or. Oh, yeah, yeah. They're very. Yeah. Once one does that. Does that affect their. They say it can. Effectiveness as a right nerve center. They can lose some sensation. Some people say it can. Can. Yes, I think it. I mean, most things, when you shove violently a piece of metal through them, tends to affect them down the road. As a general rule. You might enhance things. You don't know. I'm not going to find out either. You're not? Unless I'm caught by the enemy. You never the enemy. And they. A man called Horse. You back in your wilder days. You never. You never. No. God. Ran across any. Never. I've never run across. Not a tongue piercing. Not a. No. No. Really? I tend to weed out the weirdos pretty quick. No, wait, that's very popular. Although there were days. Yeah, but. Yeah, but I. I usually got the. The mental problems as opposed to. Yeah. Any. Yeah, there were no physical warnings. Crazy in shot for three months. Yeah. I just completely passed over. Over the. What if the police will catch the nipple ring guy? Oh, you know, they'll find him. Oh, a booby trap. I enjoyed it. I don't know what to do. You liked it? I did. You know, that's where those go. You see the. Yeah. Booby trap. Yeah. Now, is there. Could a quality jeweler make the distinction between a nipple ring and a near ring? Is there a different size slot or whatever? A nipple ring? I think so. Oh, I don't know. Different gauges. You say an earring. An earring is the g. I don't know. Is the gauge smaller on a nipple ring than on a regular earring? I just thought the hoop was a hoop and you just could use anything. Who knows? Well, in this case, they know that what was. What was stolen were nipple rings. Well, that's because they were at a tattoo parlor and that's what they. You know, they pierce ears there, too. And they do nipple piercing at the mall, you know. You mean like Claire's? Claire's. They're not doing at the kiosk in front of everybody. I can't do it at the kiosk. Hey, whip out that boobling. Get an iPhone covered. A nipple ring. We're coming back in just a couple of minutes. A segment with comedian Gianmarco Sorese. It's on the radio next for you here on the Bob and Tom Show. Come on back. More of the Bob and Tom show now, the best of the Bob and Tom show here for a Tuesday. Here's a segment with comedian Gianmarco Serraci. Tom, we have a very special guest with us. Pat's here as well. Yeah, got Pat Godwin behind the glass. We used to call that the Nuremberg Room, which was not correct, by the way. There was no glass at that trial. Mr. Godwin has moved back there because in the hot seat we have Gian Marco Ceresi. Hello. How did I do? It's beautiful. Beautiful. Now, where did you grow up? I grew up Maryland. Potomac, Maryland. Not in Italy. Darn it. I know I'm much more Jewish than I am Italian just to get that out there. So what? So dad was Italian. Dad. Dad. Dad's like, a little Italian. Okay. Like a little. And Mom's just Jewish. And they gave me this name, and my dad raised me. He acted like I was 100 Italian. Oh. And. And I, I, I, I, I did, you know, the DNA. And it's, I guess in, like, the 1930s, my. My great grandpa Luigi. His real name. My great grandpa Luigi, and my great grandma Donkey Kong on. For a second, you thought it was real. You're like, oh, you're Sicily. Yes. Oh, we are. We're. We're morons. You'll. We'll believe anything. And now your name, you. It's John Marco, but you spell it G I, A, N, M A R, C, O. So everyone must just assume that you're, you know, right off the boat. Right off the boat. Italians, they come up to me, they say, bonjour, no comme V. And I'm like, no, no, no. I don't speak to Italians. Now. We're friends with Birbiglia. Mike Birbiglia, the great comedian who's on tour right now. He's got a great new show. I just saw it. I've seen it a couple times. But when. The first time he came in here, he pointed out that his name probably should be pronounced Berbelia. Sure. And. But as a young comedian getting introduced, historically, he had a whole roster of mispronunciations of his name. It would be, you know, bahooski, et cetera, et cetera. So eventually, we had a whole set of jingles introducing him with the. In the incorrectly pronounced name, which, if I could dig them up, they'd be very humorous. But I. That's all right. We're talking to our guests now. I'm getting to a point here. I'm working with philistines. John Marco, I'm getting. My point is he has a crush on Birbiglia, and we try to get him to be. I know you had to have suffered as a young comedian being introduced. I'm. You know, we've got Guillon, Marcos, Suras, Sassis. I mean, I can't imagine people. People got it. Well, I get. I get a lot of Gianmarco, Scorsese. I get that a lot. And my line would be like, listen, if my last name was Scorsese, I wouldn't be performing in this basement with you idiots. I get A lot of Giancarlo Ceresi, but I don't care. You gotta let that go. Yeah. Name stuff. No one likes that. No one likes. If you go, hey, it's actually this. I just go with it. People have known me for years. They still call me Giancarlo and I'll never correct them. I let someone else do it. I just wait. Yeah. It's not done, Carla. Yeah, I. I'm just a little bit intimidated. But I would say in contemporary culture, in the world of, say, news, it's gotten a lot looser. People are actually using their real names. You go back 60 years, and everybody had a fairly. A fairly simple name. They Even Christy Lee. Yeah, mine. Mine is very real. Yeah. When people ask, I always have to say it twice. They're like, Jess Hooker. Hooker? Yes, like the prostitute. And that's how I clear it up. Yeah. And there's. They don't think it's Booker or anything. Were you made fun of in. In school? No, it's my married name. You're being too nice to yourself. Tell them the truth. My maiden name is Prosser. And so the kids used to call me Jesse Prosser. Prostitute. Very, very clever. And then I married a hooker. Wow. Yeah. Now, to be fair, she also sleeps with people for money. Just have to do with her name. So going from prostitutie to hooker. Yeah. So would they call you like, John Carlos Saraso? Yeah. Oh, sorry. No, they. They. Well, my dad, apparently, my dad, he was like, he. He. He was a fighter. He would, you know, punch people and they called him crazy. Oh. And that's how I know I'm different. Because when I was in high school, people just called me Cerezi. So gazy. See? Kids are so nice. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. But I. I would just. Did anyone early on suggest that you change your name? I had a manager in the beginning who said, you need to change it to something more Jewish. Oh. And they were like, we're gonna get you meetings with network heads, and you're gonna walk in, they're gonna expect Jamaica Marco, and you're gonna be like, I'm Jamarco. And I said no. And I'm glad I said no, because they got me none of those meetings. Give me the meetings first, and then we'll talk about the name change. We're not gonna go the other way. Right. So. Yeah. But I've noticed especially that news people now, they've got somewhat awkward names, and sometimes they should change them. Yeah. Like the guy named Spunt. You know that guy yeah, but that's. That's. Look, we are. We're children. Yeah. So most people here. Mr. Spunt. Mr. Vagina. Right, right. Josh, most people wouldn't think twice, right? Yeah, they don't have our ridiculous brain. The awkward. The awkward hyphenated names. Does Hooker. Does it. Is it start from, like. Was it an old fishing thing, like back in the day? No, I think it's actually, what I've been told is there. There was a gentleman general Hooker, and he was known for being quite the ladies man. And. And when he would come to town, they would be hooker's women. They would all seek him out. They'd want to spend the night with him. Is that right? Yeah, there's. There is a memorial to him somewhere on the east coast that sounds like it's been sanitized. I'm wondering if. If he was. If he had prostitutes there for his troops and. And they were called women. Oh, my gosh. That's how that. I think that I always assumed it's because they were hooking men into. Right. Pulling them in. Yeah, I think. I think it was actually a last name, isn' it was. Yeah. Associated with prostitutes. Now, Mr. Oscar. Mr. Oscar, your real name is some unpronounceable. That's true. Yeah. Say it again. Asha Housekanowski. Wow. Is that your dad's name or did he change it? That's my grandfather's name. When he came over from Poland, he changed it. Okay. What nights he bowl? I'm sorry? You ask him. What time is he. What night does he bowl? I start. Sorry. Tuesdays. Oh, that's not. That's not. I find that offensive. Tuesday nights, we're ignoring our guest. Tall, slender man, wears glasses. They can't see you. Slender Man. Is that. That's like a pretty positive. Yeah, it's like a monster. The Slender Man. Sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah. Lanky. I prefer like. One of my sons just went to that. Went to that bridge. There's some. The Slender Man Bridge. Yeah, there's. Isn't there. There's a Mothman. Mothman bridge. Sorry, I get my. Oh, Mothman. My fake horror things. Yeah, of course. That's a fine science. You're a tall, thin fellow. Thank you. Now, were you an athlete? And did you play basketball? No, no, I. I mean, I. You know, I did. I did a little basketball. And I still remember my. My high school basketball coach. He always used to tell me, you miss 100% of the shots you take. But no, I was. I was terrible at sports. I was More of a theater kid. Oh, yeah, me too. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What was your favorite role? Oh, Seymour in Little Shop of Horrors. Oh, that's fantastic. I always wanted to play Orin Scravello. Oh, you'd be a great Orin. Perhaps we could have some sort of theater thing. Yeah. I think of both our lives take a terrible turn of events. We could definitely do a production of Low Shot. A Paducah Community Theater or something. Now, let me ask you this. I've got a couple favorite stage plays, of course. West side Story. I've actually seen it on Broadway. Yeah. If you're in. If you were in west side Story, a jet or shark or Maria would. Well, I think these days, based on my race, I would be a jet. You think so? I think it's. If I was a shark, people would be kind of upset. Yeah, they'd be upset with whatever makeup I would have to use to fit. Well, I mean, in. In the movie, of course. We all know that George Chicaris. Greek, not Puerto Rican. Well, of course. Yeah. Right. Everyone knows that. When did that movie come? Academy Award. Yes, that's the exact right question. Ignore the classics. That's fine. Who did Al Jolson play in Ironically? A White officer. Kke. Yeah, they got that one rolled, right. Yeah. Finally. Finally. Fun. Yeah, that's. So you guys are comparing theater kid roles. What was your last role? My last acting role. The theater role was Grease. I was Kaniki. Oh, nice. I didn't know that. Yeah. Did you ever do that? No, I didn't do. Do Grease. We did like, weird. We did weird. We did musicals. Honestly, we should not have. We did Pacific Overtures. Yeah. Which is. It's a Stephen Sondheim musical. That's. That should be played by an all Japanese cast. Yeah. And we had. I think we had like the. The director, just to be sensitive, found the one Chinese student at her school and put them in the show, which feels more offensive, honestly. So. So we. We did. We did that Little Shop of Horrors, how to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. There's a classic classic. Yeah. So you sing. Yeah, yeah. Don't be coy. Since I've only. I've only been booked to sing professionally three times in my entire life. And they were all for my grandparents funerals. Oh, you got one left then, eh? Yeah, I know. I'm calling it my farewell tour. The doctors say my last show could be any day now. What song did you sing? I did. It's a song called the Cuddles Mary gave. Very, very sweet song. Is This a Yiddish thing or. I think it might be. It might be Irish. I don't even know. It's from a show called A Man of no Importance. I've never done the whole show. Just. Just the one tune. Just the one tune. Okay. At all three of the funerals, the same song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Did that. It was. It was a good reminder that my grandparents were in a better place. Now, would anybody complain? I've already seen this show. What the hell? Thought we're gonna get a new day. I saw his comedy show. Same thing he did last week. Hey, when are you gonna turn over the act? Yeah, yeah. When's the new hour? New material, for God's sake? Maybe. Are we done insulting our guest? Okay, we're not. This is. This is interesting. So you're. Let's see, you're from the greater Maryland area, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I tell you. High school, college. You go to college over there? I went to the. I went to the University of my. Of Miami for musical theater. The one in Florida? The one in Florida. Miami University is the one in Ohio. I'm aware of that. We had. We had a news story last. Last year. Remember this? Some guy, Some guy from. I forget where was Eastern Europe. Yeah. We're so excited because he was going to Miami and he arrived in Ohio. That's real. He really. Absolutely. Yeah. He applied to the wrong college. He couldn't believe how cold it was. Yeah. They're both very fine universities. Yeah, but one has an ocean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if there's a theater program at the one in Ohio. I don't know, but sure. I don't know if there was one at University of Miami either. So you attended class about as often as I did. Yeah, I mean, I went, but, you know, musical theater degrees. My classes were called things like movement and voice and other things I had already studied as a baby. How did your parents feel about paying for that? For that? I, I, you know, they, they, they. They weren't paying attention enough attention to know what a mistake they were making. And I sold it. You know, I said they, they had regular. They had some regular. Like, they had a class called Accounting for Actors, which was like. It was like basically regular accounting with a focus on negative numbers. The first lesson was how to file for unemployment. It's come in handy. This is all true. John. Marco Seresi is our guest. He's very, very funny guy. Do you have a dream role? Something that you love to play? Gosh, I think Sally Arian Amadeus. Oh, wow. Yeah. To do a play and then dream acting role. There's a musical called Falsettos, which is really cool, and I like Marvin okay, cool. Very obscure, not very fun. That's the dream. Yeah. Yeah. Too old to do Evan Hansen. I mean, they tried with that guy in the movie. They. They. Whoever played it, who played it. What's his name? Yeah, yeah. But. Yeah, you got it basic. Yeah. Great play. Not a good movie. Well, yeah, well, they tried. I auditioned to play his friend for that movie, and I remember being like, he's supposed to be 18. You know, I'm 31st. And. And I. I went for that audition. Then I saw. What's his name? Ben Platt. Ben Platt. And then I tried to get him to do it, but it was. He was. He was too old. He was too old. And they tried to. And I was like, oh, that's why they had me for the friend. They wanted me make him look young. But they do that a lot with musicals. They. They. It takes so long to get that. That play into a musical, and they try to get the original leads to keep the momentum. And they did that for Rent. They did it for Rent, and everyone was way too old. And that's why for Wicked, thankfully for Wicked, they said, well, it's 20 years we can't have. I'm so excited. Yeah. They. I'm nervous. Musicals are hard to make in the movies. It's tough. You either nail it or you don't. And you know what? The second they start singing, I was in the movie theater for rent at one of the premieres, and, like, the second they start singing, you could hear people giggle, and you're like, oh, it feels corny. It's not gonna work. Now. Now, Pat, you're also an actor. How old are you, Pat? Maybe you and John Marco. It was between him and Ben Platt for the lead. My dad's a professor of musical comedy. Taught at Notre Dame and King's College in Wilkes Barre. Really? And I grew up with the. That major also. Yes. Oh, very cool. You live in New York now? I live in New York now. You like the city? Where do you. Are you Manhattan? Brooklyn. Where are you? I was in. I was in Harlem for a very long time, and I've been on the Lower east side for, like, four years now. So I. I'm a. I'm a New Yorker. Yeah. Yeah. People. People talk. People talk crap about New York around. Around the country sometimes. We're kind of like a. I was. I was in Chattanooga, Tennessee, and I Was in this taxi and he asked me where I was from. I said, new York. And I mean, he gasped so loud it almost startled the horse. And he was, he was like. He was like, I hear New York is filled with crime. And I was like, you know, I've heard about Chattanooga. Nothing. When my agent said I had a gig in Chattanooga, I googled what country is Chattanooga? And I fired my agents. So you don't get that New York attitude on us. Yeah, we. We've been through that. We probably should get a couple news stories out of Christy Lee. We had. We had the one about the. The head that rolled up on shore. Yes. And where was that? That was in. That was in Key Biscayne. Off of a human head. Just ahead. Barrier island off of Miami. They ain't got nobody. So was it somebody just walking the beach in the morning and it was there? A worker? A beach worker. A beach worker cleaning the beach. Wow, he's a really big rake. Yeah. Lucky he was attentive because it probably did look like kind of a hair. Hairy coconut. He could have just taken those tongs, tossed it in there. That's a weird looking coconut, but yeah. Do you think, you think it's some drug deal going wrong? I would think if they're severing your head, you gotta. You gotta have a tool for that. I don't know if anybody requests that as a way to die, you know, like, hey, when I go chop my head off, throw me in the ocean. I mean, it seems like a cartel move, doesn't it? Sure. Decapitation seems. Yes. Fairly common at sea. Well, you dump your head somewhere else. It could have been the whole body. Body and that. That's all that's left after the munching. Me. Yeah. No, but they probably start at the toes and work up. Right. Wouldn't it be a clean cut? In theory. How do we know it wasn't a clean cut? We don't know. Do you think if you put it to your ear, you can hear the ocean? We're coming right back in just a couple of minutes. A segment with Reno Collier in his garage. Why he's in there? Well, we'll find out here on the Bob and Tom show. New Year's Eve morning, the last day of 2024. Welcome back to the best of the Bob and Tom show. And this is Christopher here in the Bob and Tom studios. Here's a segment with Reno Collier in his garage. Don't really know why he's in there. Let's find out. There's Pat Godwin in the performance room. Hey, Chick. There's Willie Griswold. Good morning. Hey, there's Jeff Oskay. Howdy. We'll get to Pat again in just a second. I'm listening. I was only half listen. That going to go, too. I get it. Pat McGee. And here's Tom. Now, the problem with Pat is he feels like he. He doesn't. Doesn't just make a mistake. He feels like he lets the entire show down. It's okay. He wears. I was writing. He makes this situ. Takes the situation makes it far worse by dwelling on it for hours. So you have a parody song about a story we're going to do tomorrow. He did. He did jump the gun a little bit. Yeah. I was writing while you were. Okay. Right now we're going to shift gears, I believe. There we go. Look at that handsome man. He's always in his garage. I'm back. Yes. It's comedian Reno Collier. Reno Collier joins us. Are you. Is that your garage? It is my garage. Yeah. And that's my house. But it's got seven people in it, actually eight and a dog. And. Yeah, I just wasn't feeling like inside was the right move today, but is that your. Is that your car behind you or is that the wife? That's my wife's car. Are you sitting on the floor? No. He said no. I'm in a. I'm in a field stream hunting chair that just sinks a little bit. It's kind of like. Chrissy, believe me, this is not comfortable for me. You know what I found? I found one of those. What do we call those camp chairs? Mine rocks. I accidentally ordered. I ordered it. I have no idea how I got it, but it has two. It's a rocking chair. It has. There's two compressed things on the two legs on the back that squeeze up and squeeze. And there you can. You can rock in it. Nice. Got shocks. It's very. A little. They look like two shocks in the back. Yeah. Oh, well. Rocking chair for grandpa. Now, Reno is. There's also a. It would appear a refrigerator behind you. Is that right? Yeah, it's full of corn. No, mine is full of corn dogs, frozen pizzas, nuggets, and popsicles. Those. Those seven people in my house are little bitty. I got you. And they are fired up. Yeah, man. It looks like the way she has her car parked, there's no way you can get that refrigerator open to get at the corn dogs. Am I right on that? No, but oddly, I can shut the garage door and turn the engine on. I'm sorry. Enjoy and enjoy a pop. So much fun. You're having a great time. Are these. Are these relatives from your side of the family? Family or hers? Yeah, they are my step grandkids. Okay. And the cousins and they. They don't get to get together a lot, so it's. It's actually really fun, man. They don't get to see each other, so it's just kind of like. It's like waiting for a storm. You know, you just. You. After they leave, you kind of assess the damage and see if you need to call the insurance company. But it's. It's. It's fun. And I. You know, when you're a kid and you get together with other kids, it's just fun, you know, they're having a blast. And I am, too. I'm. I'm joking around about it because they're going to see this, but it's. It's good. It may be the. It may be the lighting in your garage or. Are you sunburned? No, I just am. Well, probably. I cut the grass yesterday and maybe a little bit, or it's just blood pressure. You know what I mean? Who knows how much time I have left, you know, at this point, I think your beard, the. The. The skunk, like, stripe on your beard is kind of evening out. Before it was skunk, like, before it was turning all white. Yeah, yeah. Before it was just on the right side of your chin. Now it's kind of looks good. Migrated over there. Yeah, I think it looks good. Yeah. Thanks, buddy. I grow it like that on purpose. Do you? Yeah. You know, people are like, why don't you color it? And I'm like, oh, because I'm heterosexual. Oh, there you go. Yeah. How you like that? Good morning to you. If I have to live with it, you are, too. Reno Collier is our guest. Reno is a distinguished standup comedian. What day are we into here? Are we going one day, five day. What day? Three of how many? Seven. And we're adding two more tonight. Two more kids or two more people? Two more people or two more days? Two more kids. And, you know, it's kind of one of those things where you wake up and go, why did I quit drinking? Did I really. Did I think it through now? We were talking to Jeff Oskay, who's here in the studio with us. When he goes on vacation, he gets one room for his three kids and his lady friend, and he's in it as well. That's crowded. But do you have enough Beds in your house? Or are you, like, camping out with tents and stuff? We got. The beds are full. There's air mattresses, and then some of the beds are actually empty because the kids wanted to sleep on the couch. Fun. It's just strewn out all over. They're having a blast, man. You know, it's. It's. Do you have a pool? I don't know. No. You mean to drown myself in? There seems to be a theme. There's a theme here. I can't help but notice there is a rather large body bag next to the refrigerator. You can just climb right in and save the. Now, I'm assuming, Reno, that pile of stuff with the green thing on top, you were in charge of sorting that out? I'm. You know what, dude? You are so right. And I hear about it all the time. Yeah. Reminded. I can imagine that it's there, but, you know, it's. It's all these, you know, it's easy to grab. They're stacked high enough where you walk out the door. Snag one, get your Aldi's quarter. Sure. Go knock out your stuff. You know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I get the garage and my closet that still look like my brain with just stuff slung out all over the place. But the rest of the house is really clean. I. I promise. What is that pile of junk behind you? They're just bags. All these bags. A bag full of bags. Bag of bags. Everyone's got a bag full of bags. You don't have a bag of bags. You don't have a bag of bags. Yes, I do have a bag of bags. Don't you? Because you take old sheets and make rags out of them. Is that correct? Huh? And towels. See, that's nice. What do you need rags for? Yeah. A rag, man, to throw at the maid. I bet that. I bet that's a lot of fun. Well, it was nice knowing you. Reno put it right in our strike zone. You know? Hey, man, you're gonna tee it up. That's what. That's what the knives are for. No, I. I'm. We had this interesting news story last week about how people who keep clean. And. I'm sorry, people who clean their houses, they find that romantic for their partners, and their partners find a. If I am at home and. And he's cleaning, I find that sexy and romantic. Yes. Huh. That's kind of. I've been an obsessive cleaner prior to even knowing that, but. So now. But he wouldn't admit whether that works for him. Or not. Yeah. Does it. Do you do that? I can't. Do you do clean? Do you do cleaning? Cleaning is foreplay is what he's asking. No, I don't know if I think it was foreplay, but I mean, I do dishes and you know, my, my stuff's outside. Like I do the grass and we don't have a lawn certificate, so I cut the grass, weed, eat, pick up the dog poop, take care of the garage in some form or fashion. And then the upstairs where everybody is, where the TV room and all that stuff is. That's. I'm in charge of that too, so it's. Yeah, I don't know. Dude, does your, does your. Does your wife find it hot when you're. She like, come out and give you some lemonade? You're hot and sweaty sitting on your. Your tractor. He's not running a combine. What are you talking about? You think he's a farmer? Cuz he lives. He lives in the south. You think he's a farmer, don't you? Before I go down and feed the horses, she knocks a piece off. You know what I mean? Does your wife have a nickname for you or does she call you rent? Know she calls me dumbass. I bet she calls me Reno something. Poot or something. P O T. Poot. Ah, hail Poot, you know, Come on. Poot. I like that. Has she ever taken. Taken liberty with the name Reno and done some like. What are you searching for? Reno? The Pino. Yeah, Pino. Pino, take your be. She does drink pinot, does she? Huh? Loves it. I do too. Good woman. Yeah. Grigio. Yeah. Or noir. Both. Yeah, she likes them both. Hey, Poo, give me some of that box wine while you're up. Take the bag out and squeeze it. I know there's some in there. Put in three ice cubes the way I like it. For me. Stop messing around. I want that Costco box one. I just. Reno. Poo. Reno. I just assumed you had. You had a sit down mower. I don't. No, you don't. Oh, wow. Maybe he doesn't have a yard. Yeah, okay. Yeah, it's not very big. Yeah, I see. So you got a rotary or. No, actually right now I'm using a battery. Oh yeah, the. The old lawnmower. Kaput. So I've got all the same batteries for my tools and everything, so it just seemed like it made sense and I didn't have to go get gas and you know, all touch though. And that's where. So far so good. That's where poot came from. Like, that's exactly. I wish that's where poop came from. Reno Collier is our guest. And Reno, I. If you've prepared something for today's show, the good news is you can use it next week. Yeah. Oh, no. Unless it was a July 4th related it. Well, no. Oh, but we're okay. Because we're kind of out of time here. I. Oh, I've enjoyed. Enjoy just chatting. Is that. Is that okay? Yeah, no, yeah. It's all good, man. Whatever you guys need. Okay. Good, good. Why are we. You just want to linger in the garage so you don't have to go in and deal with a little rascals. Hey, as soon as I turn this phone up, I'm just gonna keep talking. Yeah. Tom, two hours on the air commercial. Come back in here. Anything. Anything to keep you from cleaning up the blanket fort that I'm sure exists upstairs. Right. Right now, dude, full blown with the cushions and the. What is more fun, though, than you and the cousins? A spider man sheet on the wall. Oh, yeah. My cousins still do it. Really? Oh, yeah. That's so fun. Oh, it happens in my house all the time. The blanket for it. The blanket for it is the best. Yep. Alexander is the best, man. Yeah. Maybe on top of when everybody leaves Reno here, a little tip from me. You get your wife some of the pinot and then you build a little blanket for it. Oh, yeah. In the living room and you know, inaugurate. Start off. Start off doing the dishes a little bit. I want you to use my name. Tom said this would get you hot food. That tickles. I'll try to fit you in there some way. Lots more stuff coming up next hour. The best of nanas and ali breen with sexy time. But next, more with greg hahn here on the Bob and tom show. Bob and tom. Welcome back to the bob and tom show on a Tuesday morning. This is Christopher here in the Bob and tom studios again. The gang is back in here live in studio next Monday morning. Here's a segment more with Greg hahn on the Bob and tom show. We have a special Bob and Tom comedy. Comedy legend. Well, that's a big word. There he is. Go ahead. It's. It's the very handsome Greg Hahn. Oh, man. Thanks for having me on the show. I'm thrilled, Greg. It's a hot crowd out there today. I can sense it. It's a hot crowd. Yeah. Radio listening crowd. Sexy show. It's gonna be a sexy show. I can't tell you where I'm staying. Ramada. But I'll tell you this. 431, good luck tracking me down. Mr. Gray, one of my favorite comedians has joined us in the studio. A man that the United States Marine Corps said thank you and goodbye now. Too slow. Get back. I told you about the guy that was in my college in the dorm, that they couldn't give him a roommate, you know, because he was always threatened to throw them out the window, covered in blood and being put in a cop car. Would beat up frat guys to steal their keg and put it in the door. Right. And I was like, how can I be more like that guy? Like he'd been in the Marines. I'm like, like, sign me up. All right. They couldn't give him roommates because he threatened to throw them up the way. Yeah, he threatened two roommates. Is that. Is that from. Is it a real process that if your roommate dies, you get to graduate for free or something? Is that thing whatever. Yeah, yeah. I think in the Ivy League. I think I've never heard that. Oh, yeah. Or is this just a movie trope? Yeah. I always assumed that was not. Not real. That really happened. When I was in school, there were. Was a guy that quite literally put masking tape across the floor of the room. Oh, sure. Like a. What did Les Nessman do that? Said to the other guy, don't cross this line. Oh, geez. And then he. And then he. The guy that put the tape down, chain smoked, never cleaned anything, never washed his sheets. He was actually thrown out of the dorm, which. And I mean, to get thrown out of the dorm, you really had to. Were you an ra? We'll be in a ra. Oh, God. Charge this stuff. No, no, no, no, no, no. Did you have a beef with the error? I bet you did. Yeah, a couple. No, I. Come on. The guy that stops all the fights. I Bet There are two types of RAs out there. One, just a total. Just by the book, right? Yeah, just C block all around. And then the other guy who, like, secretly don't hurt each other and. What. Anything you need. Give me 100. Yeah. The rest is. Yeah, yeah. You're not gonna. You're not gonna believe. Believe me if I tell you, but RRA was a semi amateur drug dealer. There you go. See, that's the other type. Yeah. I thought you were going to say RRA was Chris. Christopher. Right, exactly. He was a. Yeah. He ended up being a Supreme Court justice. No, I don't know what he ended up being. I'm just saying, when I was a freshman, this guy was. If you needed anything, he was the man. There you go. Yeah, I don't think he disciplined anyone for anything ever. Like. Like, like Red at Shawshank. Yeah, you can get you anything. Got me a rock hammer. Yeah. Remember that. Once again, we have been joined by. By comedian Greg Hahn and I will highly recommend. If you're planning on having a Christmas party and you want to really wow the audience, this man is the guy. He's one of my favorite human beings. Great comedian. And you're. How do you. How does one find a Greg Hahn? How do you track. And how do you spell Han? H, A, H, A. Are you sure? Yes. You're positive? Pretty sure. Okay. They're very good. How do you spell Greg? Greg. 2. Greg's not 3 GRE. G, H, A, H. What does it mean when you have three GS? The G R, E, G. Three. Three thousand. Why? What happens? Why are you confusing people? Because you got crazy parents. When did thousand go to K? Wasn't always GS. Yeah, you're going to be two GS. Now it's a three K. How did that happen? I don't know. The K PR firm is real good. Yeah, K is very good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, how did Red go to. I get confused. Red used to. I mean, think about it. Think about how good the K Pr firm is. Potassium is K. There's not a K in that word. No, that's how good the Przyfsky. Yeah, right. K's got found. You don't spell Shaker Heights with a K. No. See, nothing makes sense anymore. Red used to be commies. Now it's gone the other way. What the hell? No wonder people are confused. That one's no more sounds from Tom. Are you ready, Greg? Oh, yeah. Have you ever heard. Heard Tom sneeze? Yes. Oh, whoa, hold the phone. Yeah, I was. I was. I was recording a commercial or something. I was sitting in my office Friday when you did that. I remember it now. And this is Tom yawning. See, both of those sounds so satisfying. They like, they feel that. Second one. If you're an African, attempt. Certain creatures will suddenly. If you do this, you'll see. You'll see a elephant's trunk come through here. Flat, right through the tent. Do elephants kiss with their trunks? They just put the ends of their trunks together, you know. You're talking about an F.J. earlier. Oh, a T.J. trunk. I had the closest to that. Does it go in the trunk or does it wrap around? Did Ever hear my elephant interview? Oh, God. Have I heard your elephant interview? It's true. I've heard about it. It took your car keys, didn't. Yeah. Yeah. I'll tell you, Greg, on. Yeah, I was in a, in a parking garage at a major arena and they, the Ringling Brothers, Barnum and Bailey Circus was coming through town. This is when they used to have the critters. Now they don't. There's no animals anymore. But I was interviewing this guy that was the elephant guy. Yeah. I am not an animal. Not that kind. Elephant ring. And they've got the, they got the elephant right there with a new chain around his foot. Yeah. And I'm standing right, right next to this elephant. Yeah. And I'm interviewing this guy and the elephant. I was wearing a pair of Zubas. Remember those, Those kind of. Why those. How do you describe Zubas? They were football pants that had an elastic waist down and they, but they were very comfortable and like a wide. Yeah, they were like a loose, like clam diggers, but all the way to the not clam. Almost like hammer pants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A loose clam digger. Donnie Baker wear them. In any event, there's a poem. I'm talking to this guy and the elephant puts his trunk in my pocket and pulls my keys out. And this guy grabs them before he can steal your car. At the time, I was driving a really nice blue Datsun 280Z5 speed. Oh, tasty. What a dick. That thing pulls up and he gets out in his Zuba. How's it going? Is that an elephant? Look at this. I'm on the radio. You're going to have to give me a Silkwood shower to get rid of the smell of the T. That's right. I'm spilling more than you've ever seen. In any. In any event, were they all icky? Like all snotty? Oh, my God. Elephant snot. Oh, it was, it was like you're being slimed in Ghostbusters. Oh, but the keys were slimy. Oh, God. Again, man. But then I got in the 280Z. Yeah, yeah, of course. You know, you know what that's like. You like a good car, don't you? What do you drive these days? I got a, A Pontiac Crapper. No, I got. Have you seen the new crapper? Oh, man, it floated. I, I, I had, I got jealous of the day I was behind a Fiero. Yeah, we gave one of those. I really. Those were so cool. I guess they caught on fire though, right? It was a mid Engine. Short lived Pontiac. There might have been a thermal incident or two. I'm not sure they were cool. Didn't you have at one time, Greg, you had a plan, like a five point plan. I don't remember that plan. Chick, you better do that bit. No, like you were going to get a big car, get a car I can't afford, knock up a fat girl. Irrecoverable mistakes. Weren't you driving an Escalade for a while? No, no, I've got an Armada. I call it the Armada. I get it, it's beautiful, you know, But I like to rent cars, you know what I mean? I rent nice cars with a full ashtray, drifter in the trunk. I get the whole thing. The Armada, that's. That's like the gigantic one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You just look at the rear view and all the empty seats and think, you got to make some friends. Ah, okay, cool. You had the Ferraro, Is that what you said? Fiero? I didn't have one. I. We. We. You had the Geraldine Ferrari. Yeah, I drove a Geraldine Ferraro for a while in the 80s there. Wow. That always turned left. Yes. No, I was. We gave a Fiero away in the air. It was fun. I just thought those were. They were cool looking, but they didn't last long. Who made those? Pon Pontiac. Oh, okay. They didn't. 84 to 88. They didn't look like they weighed very much to me. Yeah, I don't know why I thought that. I just remember the engine. The engine in like mid. Right back. Mid engine. Yeah, you're right. How's Porsche? Do we like Porsches? Who doesn't? I just rented one in la. Buzzing all around. How'd you like that? What's fun? A Macron. The smaller one. Yeah. What's good though, right? They're good, right? Yeah, they're great. I want one of those. Is that named after the guy in France? France? Macron. You get the bigger one. Germany got a different name. The Cayenne. The Cayenne's what you want. That's hot. If you want an SUV like the Pepper. I'm sorry, let's stop naming cars after food. What's happening? Have we finished our sportscast? No, gosh, we're finished. Okay, very good. Okay, let's segue over to Christy Lee. She's over there. What do you got, Toots? Is Toots okay? Over the weekend I was like, I'm just going to start calling Christy Toots. Okay, that's fine. Here, here's What? Let's come up with a nickname for Christy. Let's just start the bidding, toots. Mama. Oh, I like Mama, too. Yeah, give us the news. Mama. Mama. Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't you call the HR lady, see if she has any ideas. I'd love to call her. You mean Top Heavy? Send me more boob pics. Ask for days. A recent survey out there reveals the simple joys in life. Is that right, Mama? That bring Americans the most pleasure. And call me Mama. My children bring me great joy. That's a lie. That's not a lie. I bet children bring you great joy. And great not joy. Isn't that there's a little bit of stress involved? Sure. According to a poll of 2,000 U.S. adults, the top 10 simple pleasures are. Now. Who are these 2,000 people? And who did this? We're going top to bottom. Number 10. Listening to the rain while sitting inside with a warm drink. Love it. Love all that. 35%. I did that. But I was on the porch yesterday for a good two hours. I did that because I had no power. I had power to waste. I had no warm drink because it was tap water, because that's all I could drink. Yeah. So this is the number one. No, it was ten. I'm starting. Wait a minute. What are these again? I got caught up. I got caught up calling her Mama. Simple pleasures that bring us Joy. Pleasure. Will you listen to Mama? I'm sorry. Listen to your mama. Mama said, waking up to the sun shining 40%. I don't care for that. No, I don't care for that at all. Well, we never get to. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Very rare that happens. Having someone tell you they were thinking about you, that always makes me nervous. They're up to something, really. Especially when it's the 5O. Right, Josh? Yeah. Worse than a girl that. That hates you. A girl that really likes you. They want to get together all the time, my love. Language is do not disturb. We will continue with more of the Bob and Tom Show. It's Sexy Time with Ally Breen coming up next. This is the Bob and Tom. Oh, sure, you've got cable tv. You've seen all those news channels and sports channels, the weather channel, the cooking channel. But now, the Bob and Tom Cable Television Group, a division of Frigamol Industries, is proud to present the time channel 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You're watching the Time Channel and. Looks like I can get a caller. Hello. You're on here. Hi. Yeah, this is Jimmy. What time is it? It's 1121. Thanks. Love the show. Sure thing. Let's go to line two, see what's on your mind. Hello, Time Channel. Hi. I'm sorry, the. The last guy kind of stole my thunder. You already answered my question. Oh, you. You mean about the time? Yeah, I was going to ask what time it was. You said 1121, right? Well, actually, caller, we've got an update on that. It's now 1122. Hey. Hey, thanks. Great. I love the show. Thanks for the call. Looks like we've got just time to take one or two more calls here. Go ahead, caller. Yeah, hey, I've been watching the show since 1104, and maybe you guys covered this earlier, but what day is it today? I'm sorry, caller, you're looking for the Day Channel. This is the Time Channel. Check your local cable listings for that. Oh, sorry, my bad. Could I possibly get somebody to scream these calls? And listen, a quick reminder for you viewers. I'm gonna be on vacation next week, so be sure to tune in same time, same station, uh, for the best of times, gonna be reliving some of the best moments. It's the Time Championship. You won't want to miss. Military Monday, where all times, all day long are given in Military time. Starting at 0100 hours, a tribute to our fighting men and women. It's the Time Channel. We got nothing but time. In no time at all, we know you'll be having the time of your life on the Time channel. It's now 11:25 from Bob and Tom Cable Television, a division of Frigal Industries. Hey, I've got to go. I'm out of time. Hey, I'm just killing time. Your time may vary. Check local listings. It's now 1126. More now, the Best of the Bob and Tom show on a Tuesday. And this is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios. Here's a great segment with comedian Ally Breen. It's Sexy time. I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom. What's going on over there, buddy? I'm just sorting through a few things here. All right, we're going to be checking in with Ally Breen for. Oh, there she is. For Sexy Time. Hi, Ally. Hi, guys. Good to see you. And the way this works is people send us their love troubles and we try to fix them. And let's get right to it. Ally, what have you got? Dear Allie, my girlfriend keeps telling me I'd better put a ring on it or somebody else will. I'm not Planning on proposing anytime soon? So I'm going to have to hear this constantly. Do I need to bring break up with her? It honestly comes up weekly. Who is going to agree to such a pushy pitch like that? Well, how long has it been, mister? Why don't you put a ring on it? What's your problem? It's clear that he doesn't want to do it. Yeah. I think the. If he wanted to, he would rule applies the old he's just not that into you, I think. Yeah. If you don't want to propose, don't, don't. Yeah, don't. Yeah. And if she's just looking to get married as opposed to marrying you. And don't let her tell you I'm not gonna buy a house unless we get married. Don't let her try that either. I'd break up. You could. What about a promise ring? How old are you guys? Yeah. Is that still a thing or do women not accept that as a. It sounds like a baby. I don't know. I don't know. I never had a promise ring. So wait, if he never proposes, it's because he doesn't want to? Yep. Well. Oh, Aussie. How long have you guys been together? 16 years of relationship bliss. There you go. It works. You don't have to get married bliss. Yes. We all have separate finances. There's no drama. That sounds good. Chooses to be with me. He's not stuck. Tom, have you ever been in a relationship that you describe as bliss? Yeah, sure, of course. The one right now. Yes. Thank you, chick. Okay. Yeah, I think this. I don't understand the question here. This seems like they're answering their own question. Yeah, I think you kind of know the answer. You break up with her. Yeah. And she is going to keep bringing it up. Yes. Especially every year when it's like, cool. Another year. And then of course, this always gets down to hot. How hot is she? And then we'll. Yeah, we'll get back to you. Yeah, she's an uggo. You gotta get. Yeah, she's. She's gorgeous and happens to be an occasional murderer. What? What the hell, you know, let's move on. Ellie, what is her next letter say? Dear Ally, I live in my boyfriend's house and we share his car and I do most of the housework and cooking. He acts like every time we fight, he'll just put me out on the street and makes a big point about how it's all his stuff and not mine. Otherwise when we're getting along, he considers it both of ours, but it's the first thing that comes up when we fight. I have literally no comeback. What can I come back with when I fight with him? Bye. That's no way to run a relationship with a child. Good night. That is emotionally abusive. Get out. Find anyone else? Yeah. Next time he even threatens you, like, cool. I'll go find like, you know, depends what state or commonwealth you're in where we get to what they call common law. And half his stuff may be already yours. Is that still a thing? Common law? Some states, yeah. Yeah. You don't need that, though. That's not. No. What an awful thing. Because if he's saying it, then he's thinking it. Yeah. That's the thing. Yeah. I don't know. You do it. You're told woman. Because I own this. I think break up with them. Yeah. Awful. Yeah. I don't. I don't like telling people that. The last guy and this woman, but I think so. I'll help you pack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Once you're holding something over someone's head like that, like you're dangling car keys and you're like, this is going to go away. Well, it depends. Now what kind of car are we talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, is it a really cool car? You got the N series? BMW? I say sticker around. Those are nice. Very nice. Let's move on. What else have we got? Ally. Dear Ally, my boyfriend is addicted to porn. I was leaving for work the other day and I forgot my phone. I went back inside after just like a minute and he was already working himself into a frenzy. He was watching a video and I think he does that at least twice a day. Maybe right after I leave every time. Does this mean I'm not an enough for him? Yep. No, it doesn't. It doesn't. And that, you know what? Maybe that's how he likes to start his day. That's his business. Some people like. I love that it took less than a minute for him to get to it. Yeah. First of all, congratulations on the. The instant tumescence. Oh, wow. This guy's answer. What an eager beaver. You know, the letter doesn't. The letter doesn't tell us how often they're. You know, if he tells her, no, that kind of thing. We're not. That's different. That. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Hard to say. But it. Most women will never understand that married men still masturbate. That it's a different thing. It's very different. Different thing than sex. I've never been Insulted. If a guy does that. Like, it's like, okay, great, you know, do whatever you want to do. You know, one less thing. You have to do that. Check that off the to do list. What about if he hits you in the head with it? You've never toured with. You've never toured with Louis ck Then Morning Porn, though. That's their new documentary out. Oh, yeah. That's not biased at all. Yeah, there you go. I don't know what. I didn't even see it. Josh is on about no reason for me to comment whatsoever. No, don't overthink it. It's not a big deal. Oh, this woman. Yeah, I guess it's the amount that he does. It's like, everyone knows that their boyfriend watches porn, but if it's twice a day, every day, the second you leave the apartment, the way you read it, she's guessing more detail. What if it's gay porn? That's alarming. Or for. In this case. Yeah, yeah, bring it up. What if it's your sister's porn, by the way, she's speculating. She goes, I. She goes. I think it's twice a day. Well, there's no evidence that you're just. You cut them all one time. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. All he does is this. Yeah. No, maybe it's the three minutes after you leave. Yeah. No psychic thinking here. You're going to make it worse, but I don't think it's that big of a deal. It's pretty funny that this guy. Right at it. You're off. You're off to work. I get that, though. Yeah. Maybe he had a meeting. Yeah. Short time. Maybe she leaves for work 30 minutes before he has to. Yeah, but you know, if he did that, he was thinking about it. He was just like, oh, so you're gonna leave? Okay, well, counting down. This would happen. When I lived with my parents, it was. Oh, yeah. They would go, hey, we're going somewhere. Somewhere like, okay, I need to. That's just sick. I need to wait. And I need to wait in case they forgot something. Yeah. And you'd still go in your room and lock the door, probably, Right. As a. No. The only VCR in the living room, you made that. You added the calculation that, what if they have come back? Oh, yeah. This is kind of off topic, but kind of not sick and awful. We had. I had an. An article I did not print out today because I. There was some. I was questioning some of the stats, but this statistic said that a recent survey only 15 of men used a video porno which I. That I think that's probably extremely low. The others just get creative saying back in the day of videos or now. No, now. I mean that survey. That is wrong. They lied. Yeah. That's why I didn't even print it up. I thought, this can't. There's no way. I had a friend who claimed that and I never believed him. He would go. What I would do is look at pornography. Porn for a while. And because I was. I was using his computer, I go, I can't believe I'm sitting here where you. And he goes, no, no, no. I look at porn here, but then I go into my room and just think about it. No, you don't. So I'm just sort of stunned that Josh's living room at your parents house was. Yeah. When I was 17 or whatever. That's not uncommon appointment masturbation. Like that's something you have to do. It's his parents living room. Yeah, that's my living room too. I mean that portrait of the clown above the fireplaces. Are you saying those aren't tears? It was of my grandparents. When you. Did you turn over the. Did you turn the pictures of your family around? Stared my grandfather right in the eyes. She put Jesus in another room. You would never take care of business in the living room when you leave. Kidding. Wine. Oh, just don't leave the tape in the vcr. That. That would be sometimes like. Yeah. Let's sit down and watch. South Pacific Valley. What is Faces Loaded? This also this. Our Same article says 15 say they prefer on solo work to use shower heads. What? Yeah. Oh, girls. So you have to get into a handstand. No, it's the hand. It's the removable one. Sorry. If you have enough pressure, you don't need the hand removal. Now I have to do a handstand because I don't have the. I think that has to go down as the number one product that was manufactured and is purchased for something off label use altogether different than what it was manufactured for or unless they knew what they were doing and they probably did at this point. Yeah. Really? Oh yeah. You use the shower head Ali ever? Of course, yeah. Yes, I did. That is definitely a girl thing. Yeah. Wait, can a guy do it? Can a guy have it? Definitely helped. Where'd you put it? On your taint? Yeah. I wasn't gonna say it. It was at a B and B. I'll never forget it. Could you do a. Maybe a chapter of your book Taint Misbehavior about your timeout. Air bnb. Yeah, she said, was it a public bathroom? It was a shared restroom, yes. Yeah. Oh, I didn't care. What, you had to wait until the bathroom. No, it was. It was clear for me. I was one of. Yeah. Oh, but. But. Yep. Oh, yeah. I'm gonna see what this removable shower head's all about. When I get it. I get it. It's quick. Okay, well, it's time to move on to our next letter. What else have you got going over there? Dear Ally. Shut up. Me and my boyfriend were high school sweethearts and we stayed together long distance through four years of college. I'm ready to move in together now. But he's still sticking to just seeing each other every other weekend. He says it's still. He's more established at his job. But my best friend says I've clearly become the side chick and he has someone else he's trying to. He's already with. Should I be patient or should I push this? Ah, the wisdom of a best friend. I can't stand the best friend. We need more movies where the best friend is iced. She gets in the phone, hey, you know what? I heard all. And you hear the gunshot. It goes on. They have a nice life together. I think it depends. Sometimes the best friends are legit. I had a friend who was dating someone who never would invite her to his house. And they'd always meet on weekends, and she wouldn't listen to anybody. And everyone's like, he's married. And he definitely was married. So sometimes you gotta listen. Yeah, it happened. This is awkward. Like, why wouldn't he want at least see her more than every other weekend? Yeah, there's something. Because his girlfriend doesn't want to know about her. Yeah, this. This sounds like there may be something going on. There is something. Okay. Yeah, you'd think. Yeah, you'd up it at least a little. Even if you don't want to move in together like once a week, you can always ask him. Yeah. Instead of bothering us. What? When you're right, you're right. What would be the good in that? By the way, we're speaking with Allie Breen, comedian. And you can reach Ali A L L I B R E E N. Allie Breen, on your favorite social media platform. And she's also Ali Breen. She can be found under the name A L L I B. Where do I find you, Ally? On OnlyFans. OnlyFans. Yeah. How's that going for you, by the way? It's been Good. I actually love the fans who are on there are really. It's different than you would expect. I bet they're a lot of fun and, like, just very supportive and very big fans of the show, too. Yeah, Good, good, good. Block anybody who's not respectful. Yeah. Yes. Are you selling anything? You. I know that there was a panty raid of. No, I have to think of something new to sell. Yeah. The panties is a thing that's ongoing. If anyone wants to buy any panties, socks, that's happening. I haven't done that. I haven't even heard. I'll put that out there and see what people can. Yeah, you can see about that. Also, sometimes bikinis, you can go, hey, here's a. A photo set. Here's eight pictures of me in this bikini. I will. I will sell this bikini. Oh, you're okay. You're in a bikini on your profile page, right? Yes. Yeah, you can sell that bikini. Yeah, There we go. You can sell outfits you wear. What about sports? I'm gonna start a whole flea market. Sports. Unblock me. I'll buy it. Unblock me. Anything. He gets sweaty in is a. Ah. That was Pat Godwin, ladies and gentlemen. No, it wasn't Ally Breen. Let's get to another letter, please. Dear Ally, my husband likes to role play and loves to have me wear really trashy clothes and acts like he picked me up on the street. Should I be worried he's going to try to do this for real one day? No, keep doing it. No, he would have done that. Yeah. He wants to do this with you. Yes. That's okay. I was at dinner at a party, pretty nice restaurant. And I saw someone I hadn't seen in quite some time. And he walked over to the table. We were talking for a while, and he goes, hey, listen, I've got to go. I'm doing this role play thing and with my wife, and she's going to come in, I'm going to pick her up. Oh, fun. And it was some elaborate thing where he stood there and she. They had some whole thing going. So I love it so much. Modern Family, Claire and Phil doing it. I absolutely love. I know it's fictional, so it's wonderful. I love it. So I think it's really cute. I'm literally trying to talk Donnie. And, like, I'm casually dropping these hints like, maybe we should do something like this. What would you do? Probably that just go to the bar and pick someone up. But we would probably start giggling and so. Wait a minute. I know you have to Be a really good actress to pull that off. Yeah, that would be hard to not. So you're at the bar, your actual boyfriend comes in and you have to decide how you. Okay. What are you in town for? Pretend like they don't each other. Yeah. Have to pick you up. Just don't drop hints. Tell him that's what you want to do. I think I just did. There you go, Donnie, pay attention. Exactly. Okay. Okay. Well, we have time. We have time for one more letter. Ally. Dear Ally, my wife's best friend is going through a bad divorce and she's trying to support her and be there for her. A lot of it is going out drinking and having girls trips that are getting kind of wild. And I think it's unfair that she's allowed to do this to help her friend. When I struggle to get a guy's poker night, at what point can I put my foot down? You can't. You can't. I think you just do it. She's not out getting wild, but she is supporting her friend. Getting back out there and it's going to be limited. It can't go on forever. So there's already going to be a point, right, that she has to stop. She'll get a boyfriend and never see her again. Probably. So. Sounds like he needs better friends, right? No, no, what he's saying is she won't allow him to have like a post poker night over, but she can go out and enjoy. Enjoy all that stuff. Well, just do it anyway. As I say, just put it on the calendar, don't ask. Yeah, while she's out with her friends, have your poker night. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. Don't you listen to these two girls over here? They're auditioning to be best friend. Yeah. How can I ruin this for you? We have time for one more list. Ellie, what do you got? Dear Allie, I went on a first date where we ended up sleeping together for our second date. He expected to stay over and I said no because I had to be up early and since then he has been ghosting me. I really like him, so I wish I hadn't slept with them on the first date. Can I fix this? Oh, I apologize for not hearing totally. She did sleep with him on the first date, but then the second date. Not on the second because she. He wanted to sleep over and. But she had to get up early and now he's. But he thinks she was lying about Gavin. Yeah, that's a classic. Yeah, she was trying to put down. But now he's ghosted her. But here's the thing. Oh, yeah, that's. No, this is over. Yeah, it's done. Let it go. Wouldn't you give her one more chance to explain herself? Or. No. Oh, see, no, I. But the issue is the problems with her is her. It's her problem. Meaning he has ghosted her. What should he. But what should she do is. Do not pursue him, sister. It's two dates. Let it go. He'll come back in about two weeks and reach out. Though it sounds like you're incredibly easy. So I say just grab the next guy and bang him and see if it works out. Call him up and apologize. And he'll say, okay, well, maybe I'll bring Mr. Winky over. She didn't do anything wrong. She didn't. No, but that's. But what if she said to him. If she was like, hey, I just like you so much, I want to go slowly from here on out. Oh, he's gone. Yeah, he's done. He's already answered that question. Yeah, yeah. He had sex with you. He's not that into you. He's done. But if she said, you up. You want to do something like each other, he would probably be. Now, what's the text supposed to be? You up. That's it. You up. Or just butt stuff, question mark. Or the good old eggplant emoji. Oh, dtf. Isn't that. We're coming right back on this Tuesday morning with some Wilson Pickett and the Best of Nanas on the way in just a minute. Welcome back. Happy New Year. Have a safe and happy New Year's Eve later on tonight. This is Christopher speaking in the Bob and Tom studios. Talk to you next year. A segment here with Wilson Pickett and the Best of Nanas will wrap things up today. There's Willie Griswold, big man. There's Josh Arnold. Chick. Ace Cosby's here. Coming up, the Ace Cosby joke of the day. I'm Chick McGee. And here he is. He wants to talk. This will make you happy. You know, I want to play something. I bet it won't. Well, maybe it won't. It makes somebody happy. We can't do. We can't do miracles here. Well, you try, don't you? Certainly try. 1, 2, 3. Does anybody ever sing 1, 2, 3 better than that? Nope. I never cared for this. What? I like Wilson, but I. Yeah, this kind of smacks of my. I've always hated it when companies make a commercial out of making a commercial, if that makes any sense. You know, Our new commercial. We need to tell people about our raisin infused biscuits. How are we going to do that? Well, let's get a biscuit and raise it. Infuse it. And how do we tell the people about that? Well, I think we just did. I hate, hate that. What does that have to do with Land of a Thousand? This is. He's telling you all these dances. I don't care for it. Yes. You shouldn't have to advertise dancing while playing a cool song. Dance to I love songs like play a good song and then dance to it. I love songs that listen. I would rather hear. I love this song too. But do the Freddy than I would land him. I don't believe you. Say, you're whining. You brought up Wilson Pickett. No, he. I must tang. Sally play that. Can you play that? No, cuz I want to play Land of a Thousand dance. Well, I think you. Cuz I have a question about it. All right. May I proceed, counselor? No. Yes, but you better be going somewhere with this mashed potato. Now is there in fact a. There is a mashed potato dancer? See here, See, see now. Now we got a whole new problem. Yeah. He's got to go through every dance and so we want to put our head underneath a. A car. That is not my question. What's your question? Now there. And there's of course the alligator. Yeah, right. I'm not familiar with the alligator. You show off your psoriasis. No, alligators and alligators in Animal House. Remember they fall on the floor backwards. Oh, that's right. Yes. Armageddon. I thought. No, that's John Belushi yells gator and they all fall down. He yells Armageddon. No, he says gator and he. I don't know about that. Is that gator? I thought we thought it was gator. Gator. No. Armageddon. I thought he yelled Armageddon. Armageddon. But they're doing the gator over the ground though. That is. That's the gator. Yeah. Then I'm sure he yells gator. No, no, wait a minute. If they're doing the gator. So I have misheard. You are in your scenario. Yeah. It's the end of the world and that's why they're acting like that. Yeah, it's the rapture. Yeah. Well, no, then they'd be flying up in the air. Yeah. How are they going to do that? That's not what a nuclear bomb. At that time they would be worried about a nuclear bomb. Probably. Maybe Armageddon. I think teaching the. We have not reached the point of my question yet. All right? So he yells out, you brought up Wilson Pickett, and now I'm giving you your Wilson Picket. And you're mad about it. I'm not mad about it. He just doesn't leave. We can. We have the Mashed Potato and the alligator. All right, we'll get your Watusi now, right? See, you know, his. His little Lucy does the watusi. He goes, I don't know what you were doing there. You suck. I hated that. I'm not for everybody. And it's convenient that Lucy was her name because. Rhymes with Watusi. If she'd been the Freddy, it would have been. You know what? Maybe he does get a little loose. He gets a little loose. Okay, here we go. I need hearing aidson Mr. Pickett, and I have not reached the point where I have my question here. Here it comes. See, now this you can't beat. It's amazing. What is he doing? He's singing. He's not telling us about dances. He's just singing. So the question is, out of dances, is this the first song to use the na na na na? Because you've also got Batman theme song. Or did na na na na Goodbye. Yeah, there's that. This came out before, I think it did. I mean, is this the. Is this the first nana? Let's ask Google. She knows everything. She'll know the first nana. This has got to be. But. But in any event, that's the land of a thousand dances. And I also contend he doesn't doesn't name a thousand dances, does he? He doesn't. This happens a lot. Close. Probably gets like a dozen. 12. I don't think he gets a dozen. You watch House of a Thousand Corpses, you maybe see like a hundred. That's not fair. I don't know if there's a thousand. I mean, granted, we don't see the full foundation. Now, is there a video where he. There's someone demonstrating each one of these dances they kind of do in the end of the great outdoors. Aykroyd and Candy and the gang are all dancing to that song. And Ackroyd does a ton of them. Yeah. Oh, I've never seen that. That sounds great. I'll have to check that out. So anyways, and Ackroyd knows what he's talking about when it comes to soul music. Oh, yeah, he's an expert. He's an expert on blues music as well. Yeah. He also told. He's the one who Told me that John Belushi yelled Armageddon. Oh, is he? I really am so glad you guys corrected me on that this whole time because I always assume the alligator that I. I was a total misunderstood. I understand misunderstood everything. If you told me what's the alligator, I thought it would be like you move your hands up and down and like do a chomping thing in a dance move or something. Well, I didn't know you lay on your back and. Yeah, why would they call that the alligator? Because you're like a turned over alligator. Don't like it. You know, I never have seen an alligator on its back trying to get around to the top, put their feet on the ground. Man. I can't find out the answer to you, of course. Because it's an impossible question. It's an impossible impossible. I'm just asking. Well, knock it off. Worst. Worst scatting ever in a hit song. Worst Sinatra. Oh, you. It's not as bad as you make it. This is the worst scatting of any song ever. Doy dooby doo. He doesn't sound like Dooby Doobie. It's the worst. You sound like Pisco after a head injury out on the road at a car show. So sorry. I thought the Wilson Picket. Yeah, Wilson Pickett is great. Now what is he talking? What? What? A Mustang. What does he mean there? Does he mean a car? Does he mean fast woman? Right, fast woman. Her area. Tom, your thoughts, son? I think it's G. That's her name. They call her Mustang Sally. Sally. She likes to drive her Mustang really fast. The one that's about the woman's area is musty salad. I'm glad you correct me on that. Really musty nose clip in the bedroom. I'm just gonna let sit here and watch how this going to go. How we play lots of music and talk about it. So maybe we should have a Bob and Tom hit list. The number one song this week for the second week in a row. The third week in a row. Because if we did, this would be the number one song again, don't you think? No. And again. Number one. Number one three weeks in a row. This is reading of that last two, baby. Once again, the great Paul Lind is. Is his his estate getting a check for 45 cents because we've been playing this. Oh, I don't know. All I know is when I hear that I want to put condoms on my headphones. Different time. This is the the Bob and Tom show named one of the best personal finance podcasts the Stagging Benjamin show with Joe and his friends makes financial literacy fun. Draymond Green has a podcast. He was asking Mark Cuban why at the beginning of 2024, Cuban sold a huge part of his company. He's like, did you see how much money I got? I'm sure there's a more graceful answer than that, but dude, I bought it for 200 million million and sold it for 6 billion. I don't think it was that much more graceful than that. Find out more by searching the Stacking Benjamins podcast wherever you listen.