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Hey, this is Michael Rosenbaum. Hey, guys. Tom Welling. Look, we've both played heroes and we both played villains. But in the real life, there are no reshoots, no stuntmen or sequels. We all make mistakes. We're all human. Making one bad decision can not only land you in jail, but could also put yourself and other people around you in serious risk. Be smart. Make a plan. Catch a ride. Stay put. Your decision to drink and drive could permanently change someone else's world, whether you injure them or leave their loved ones grieving. This holiday season, be your own hero. Drive sober or get pulled over. Paid for by Nita. Two hours ago, Ky arrived at the bar. Hey, what's everyone drinking? 30 minutes ago, Kyle got his friends another round of drinks. Cheers. Five minutes ago, Kyle decided to drive home drunk. A minute ago, a law enforcement officer pulled up behind Kyle. Sir, have you been drinking tonight? A chain of events that began two hours ago is about to change Kyle's whole world. Drive sober or get pulled over. Paid for by NHTSA Foreign. It's the Bob and Tom Show. Jeff Rothban. I see you're in airplanes all the time. Yeah, always on the airplanes. And I got that pilot. You ever got the pilot who talks the whole time? Oh, yeah, you know, and he thinks. He's like a radio guy, you know, he thinks, hey, I know everybody. Is there your captain here in the cockpit? Like, where else are you gonna be? In the bathroom? Of course he's in the cockpit. And they're always telling us how many feet we're going up. I never got. I never understood that. Why. Why are they telling us how many feet we're flying up? Because I'm a passenger, and he's busy going on about, hey, we're gonna be pushing our altitude 36,000ft. Hey, I'm a passenger. Just go above the mountains and the trees. That's all I know. That's all I need. That's all I know. Go high. What do I care? I'm not writing this down. 33 or 36,000. What did he say? What's it say on the gauge? How's our fuel? Who the hell cares? Tell the tower how many feet. Please let everyone else know you know, but don't tell me. You know, it just keeps going on and on. It just drives me nuts. And then when you're up there, they start pointing out things you don't care about. Like, for those just sitting on the left side of the plane, if you look out your window, there's a cloud shaped like a Duck. What? Son of a bitch woke me up. Yeah, I can't take it. And then you have people from the other side wanting to climb over you to look like a duck. That's right. Yeah, the people. Yeah, that's the thing. The people on the other side of the plane. It's true. They're always getting screwed. One side of the plane's always getting screwed. They never see anything. Oh, yeah, you know, the left side of the plane, there's the Grand Canyon on the right side. Well, you can look at the people looking out the left side. Look how. Look at their faces. They're so amazed. And the only thing I never understood is why whenever a plane goes down, they look for that flight recorder. I know comedians have brought this up before, but I cannot figure out why they look for it because I can't imagine a pilot explaining, you know, in the tape recorder what happened as they're crashing because, you know, the pilot's like the rest of us. He's screaming and cursing all the way down on that thing. And that's all they hear. I think that's all they hear is cursing all the way down. I can't imagine a pilot getting on there. Okay, we just hit a mountain. My fault, my fault. Here's what happened. Damn it. Really sorry. We're fuselage. That's right. Clip the wing there is what I did. I clipped the wing. Just so they know this when we crash. Not going to hear that. You know, by the way, you can see our left wing out the right side. Hey, for those of you that been getting cheated the whole flight on the left side of the plane. Now you can see here's the big bonus. That's right, the on the right side, you finally get to see some trees coming up really fast there. Look at those. I don't know. He just wouldn't shut up the whole time. Apologize about the black smoke on the left side of the plane. That's right. Yeah. I was pointing out something to him and I'm really sorry. That's what happened. Truly was. Free booze. Hurry, free booze. Sorry. Hurry, hurry. Free drinks for everyone. And while we're spinning out of control, just want to thank all our passengers. What the hell? Oh, we. We know you had a choice in airlines and you picked wrong. You picked the wrong one because we're going to. Good morning. Hello. From coast to coast, it's the Bob and Tom show. Bob and Tom. Bob and Tom. Bob and Tom. Many portions of the upcoming program have been pre recorded, meaning they've already happened and they're about to happen again. So where was it? Oh. Oh, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, we're glad to have you here. It's the Bob and Tom Show. I'm Chick McGee. I am alive if you call this living. And here's Tom with our Hollywood special guest. You know, they say that everybody in Hollywood dresses up. That's not true. That one is for the morning. My time, baby. Looks like Drew came from the bar. It was the Goodwill. And by the way, get a haircut, hippie. Look at it. Good Lord. Come on. Look at that, baby. You know, somebody told me apropos of your anniversary concert that I should play Sammy Hagar in the bio. Yeah, I don't want to be mean here, but this would be Sammy Hagar after being trapped in a pizza parlor for six years. But he doesn't want to be mean. You are terrible. Sammy, how tall are you? Six? Three. And how much do you weigh? About you, plus your wife. I mean, Sammy's a little shorter and significantly, he's a stocky guy. Have you seen him lately? We're not talking about 1985. Well, if you. If you were to play Sammy Hager, you'd need to get the. Get that nose. That prosthetic nose in the new Leonard Bernstein movie. Yeah, Bradley Cooper. That's a bad choice. I think he looks exactly like. He doesn't need the nose. It's a stupid choice. It's just a distraction. It got Nicole Kidman an Oscar. She did that? Yeah. I think it creates Gary Oldman dressed up like a Muppet head to toe. So I guess the question is, your hair is really long. Is that so? Because you've been on strike, so now if you get cast, you've got a lot of options. Yeah. Much to the disapproval of my mother, who actually said to me yesterday, I'm very proud of myself for not telling you how much I hate it. She didn't want to get a pat on the back for that. But, yeah, I actually got a haircut, like, a week ago, but it was more like thinned out. But I grew it because, yeah, I was on strike and it was. You know. And then I kept thinking I'd get a job in. It's usually somebody pays me to cut it, and then they like. No, we like it, so. Oh, there you go. I kept it. You're married. What does your wife think? She's in the middle sometimes. She likes it if she's like, just stop touching it all the time. So I guess I touch. You mean. You mean. You mean Touching your hair. My hair. My hair. My hair, My hair. I said my hair. I want to be clear. Touching your hair. Let me touch. I met your wife and she has a T shirt says, tell him to stop touching it. It's very, very strange. You know, they're all just a bunch of self centered onanistic. What's going on in Hollywood. You're using a lot of big words today, chick. It's impressive because I was told. Tom called me yesterday. I'm sleeping, I'm hungover. We took the red eye out here. Sure. And I heard that you were dead and that you died in your chair, and I was supposed to come dump you out of your chair and take over. Tom and I were together Friday night. Well, all day Friday, actually, together. But Friday night we were there and. Which breaks all of my rules. I don't spend any more time with anybody related to the show other than the four hours I get paid. So, no, I came down to do the show. And Tom, of course, always the supportive friend, he goes, good God, you look green. What's your problem? And I said, I'm gonna go upstairs and continue to vomit. Oh, no. Take it easy. Yeah. So we took care of the show. Went great. Thank you. Thank you again. I was being nice to you. You looked awful. I didn't wait to get on stage and barf on the front row. It was like a Gallagher show. Yeah, that'd be. You were being nice to me. Like you were not trying to be mean to Drew about eating all the piz. Yeah, he's a nice guy. He's a nice guy. I'm sure that Drew much the same way Jared Leto, when he was in the Dallas Buyers Club, had to lose. Yeah, yeah. I'll do what I can for the part. No, he's really attractive in that movie. He's a good looking. Jared Leto is a good looking guy. We're talking with actor Drew Powell and the strike's over, so he's starting to audition again, looking for some cool stuff. Yep, yep. Things starting to percolate, come back and, you know, things next year. I got a bunch of stuff coming out. So I'm glad that it's over so I can promote it because there's a long time you couldn't say anything. So I'm gonna be on Curb youb Enthusiasm, which covers that working with Larry David, very similar to working with Tom Griswold. I could see that you're just like the Indiana, Midwest version. Indiana, Michigan version of Larry David. But that was so fun because no script in Kirby. On Tuesday, you show up and they're like, here's what we want this to happen in the scene. And then you go. And I'm working with Tracey Ullman, who is a legend, one of my favorites. And Larry. And it's like my brain was on fire because you're just trying to be. Just trying to keep up with these two. It was insane. Wow. Really funny. And apparently, much like Kiss apparently the last season. So I'm glad I got in there. All right. And I know you're gonna be doing some auditioning now. I suppose that everyone in Hollywood is getting auditioning for everything at the same time. That's the thing about. For the majority of actors, the strike's over. Now we're back to being unemploy. Oh, yeah, yeah. So that's where we are. We're back to. Back to pounding the pavement. Well, now you're. I know. Heading for North Carolina today. I did. I am. Yeah. We're going to drive. See my brother. I want to. Right next to North Carolina. Kind of South Carolina. Yeah. And then. Yeah, yeah, West. There's West Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee. Then you got your Georgia, then your Florida. I want to go back up to Georgia because you mentioned earlier the. The city of Cumming, Georgia. And it's. It's pronounced cooming. It's. And it's spelled k u m. No, no, it's spelled C u m M I n g. Why don't they remember Hamilton, Ohio? They made a big deal out of putting in an exclamation point at the end of the city. That was like the chamber of commerce did that or something. You remember this? Hamilton. Hamilton. They've got to do it for. Coming. Coming. Of course. They've got to do it right. Coming. But we had a Pat. You have a song about this and I want to give a little bit of background. You can hear us. Yeah. Mike. Sir. All right. A man from Cumming, Georgia, was arrested trespassing. Geez. We had the guy from the come and go gas station, Right. The older story, he was arrested for trespassing naked through a neighbor's backyard. This is an article in the Forsyth Herald. A resident reported seeing a nude man on a security camera. The man allegedly committed a lewd act on the victim's front porch. Before leaving, the complainant added, they have footage, which of course is a technical term for video. Congratulations. They also have footage of the man walking through their backyard. The 51 year old, as my mom would say, old enough to know better, has been charged with public indecency. The details of the lewd actor. Well, I believe you have them in your song. Yeah. In the Georgia city called coming is a guy in your backyard nude? Try and stop the man from coming. He's gonna do something. Lewd came on your porch, left a present Got it on video Caught in the act, the coming man now off to jail he goes finally stopped the man from coming. He put on quite a show. They cuffed his hands and. And stop the man from coming. Now he just can't come and go. Come on. Thank you very much. Hey. Thank you very much. Love it. Love it. You know, the coming man is a dance move that I like to do. Really? Oh, you just have. You take. You pretend you're hungry. I don't want to see anything about this. What you do is you pretend you're holding a broomstick. I'll talk to you, Drew. You know how to act. Pretend you're holding a broomstick and you're going up and down. It's my tribute to Georgia in the great state of Georgia. Hilarious. Well done. Very nice roads in Georgia. I drove through Georgia this summer. Nice mountains. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. Well, well paved. Yeah. I'll give you a little tip. If you're getting from the international wing of the Atlanta airport to get a rental car. Talk to me, daddy. Give yourself two hours. That is a. That is the big. That's a long siege. Oh, my gosh. That airport is rough and all. You're always walking from one end to the other, no matter where. Where you're going or what you're doing. I wonder which airport in America is the. I've got a guess. Largest in square mileage. I would. With Minneapolis, maybe Detroit. Oh, yeah, I was. I got. I. My gate for my connecting flight Saturday was number 78. Oh, yeah, that's the one that actually is in Toledo. Yeah, that is a. That is a long walk. When I got to set, my phone went off. It said, welcome to Canada. It's a long way. Actually, all around, it's Denver, 53 square miles. Denver International Airport, the biggest airport. They have the trains, though. Oh, they do? Yeah. You got. They have a train. Leave it to the woman to tell us we're wrong. Did you hear it, Tom? Correct. I'm curious, but I know that with Denver, there is a. You get. You get in the trains and you go to the various gates. Yeah, but. Yeah, going through TSA there. Give yourself plenty of time. That looks like a scene from Ellis island when you. Denver. Yeah, that's a big. Listen, I think Indianapolis is the best airport in the country. Oh, it just gets voted better. Yeah, they got it. They got it, right? Oh, coming up, by the way, speaking of tsa. Yes. And by the way, I'd like to say hello to all the TSA agents that I go into work because we appreciate you and I know that you're gonna have to deal with a bunch of jerks. This week's gonna be tough for you and I. What do you mean I can't bring my gallon of gravy in the plane? Look, lady, make the mix of gravy when you make the gravy when you land in. Coming Georgia in my emotional support peacock. Yeah, I'm going to see Kiss this weekend. Sure you are. And I'm wondering, are they gonna. Will they have any parachutes with candy bars or anything cool like. That's confetti. How's that? Are you really going? Yeah. Are you really, really going? Yeah. What day is it? Saturday. You got a house full of people. So he'll get out of it. Yeah. That's Saturday night. Yeah. I got four tickets. Who are you taking? How about Pat? You better. I'm good. No, I don't have to go to that. I think the seats are all spoken for. Is that right? Are you taking the girls? Well, there's some speculation that one of them may go. Really? So you're saying you don't know Sam going? Your son Sam? Yes. Oh, okay. Sam's going. And I know Ace is a big fan. Yeah. Are you gonna be backstage? Are you gonna come sit with me? Well, you said you. But you invited me. Okay, I know. I just. But I don't want to. Yeah, I've got a ticket for Ace, but I don't. If you're not gonna go. Said this at the beginning. You are. You are walking down a lonely road. There's no way Ace is going to that show. No way. What? Ace loves Kiss. I know, but he's seen him a lot. But this is the last time. Is there anything. Is there anything that feels better? You got plans and you're going. Yeah. Saturday night. Yeah. Monday becomes Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday and Friday. Go, Boys Blanken. Concerts coming up. So then you go. I. I just can't make it. Man, that's so wonderful and freeing and exciting. Tickets were very expensive. Well, I'm going. Well, you could. You could. I got one. Well, good morning. It's the Best of the Bob and Tom show here on this last day of 2025. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Coming up on the show today, the hot dog straw, Greg Warren, Jeff Oscar, Gilbert Gottfried and Ali Breen. But coming up next on the show, comedian Mike Vecchione. Come on back for that. This is the Bob and Tom show. Drinking and driving will change your whole world. The next time you're out with your friends, consider what would happen if you got pulled over after drinking. Like the legal fees, the time in court, or a DUI on your record. Your decision to drink and drive could change someone else's world too, if you hurt them or even kill them in a crash. Instead, what if your decision to call a sober ride changed your world for the better? Drive sober or get pulled over. Paid for by nhtsa. Welcome back to the best of the Bob and Tom show. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Here's a segment with comedian Mike Vecchione. Mike Vecchione is here with us. He is a stand up comedian and we were talking off the air. And your lady friend is also a comedian. She's been here. She's a comedian. Yeah, she's from Indiana originally. Her name is Katie Hannigan. Yeah. So she's opening at the club for me and she's great. She travels around and we met in New York City. So living together, it's going pretty good. I hope it goes to the next level. Oh, yeah, what level? She keeps opening for you Tell her that. Can you swim? He asks everybody from New York City this question. Yes, I can. Or who's lived in New York? Yeah, absolutely. When you live in New York City. He's fascinated by the fact there are some children who can't swim. I think it's really important that we teach all kids how to swim. And I know there are places like New York City. Our buddy Roy Wood Jr. Said that his son he he something about, if you're gonna swim, well, that's grass. If grass is a destination in New York City, you have to go find it. Yeah, right. It's the same with pools. You have to plan. It's really important for people to learn how to swim. Yeah. Well, the thing is you can swim, but you can't park anywhere. There's nowhere to park. It's terrible. And no one can drive. People who grew up in New York City, first of all, they're on heroin by the time they're 12 and then they're just jumping the subway. It's like stuff that people from the rest of the country are like, are you crazy? Are you serious? They're like, they're in rehab at age 13, so that's crazy. But yeah, they can't drive. They can't drive because they know they don't need to drive. Yeah, they just take the subway and take buses everywhere. Public transportation. They just jump stuff. So it's like people who grew up there cannot drive. I doubt that they can swim. Yeah, they actually don't have any functional skills at all. I don't see a lot of pools in New York City, do you? No, that's the thing. They're indoors, but there are very few of them. And it's. But I'm just saying, all over the country, this is sort of serious because there's difficulties getting lifeguards. Yeah. A lot of places, the, you know, kids aren't being taught to swim, so. Well, all you have to do is get a sign that says no lifeguard on duty. Exactly. Post it and that legally, I guess that exempts you. That's right. Any responsibility. No, it doesn't. Don't you think the lack of lifeguards has something to do with the lack of parents telling their kids to go get jobs? It's a. That's a. Yeah. If you're a lifeguard, you can't look at your cell phone. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're right. That's true. Oh, I'm sorry. Johnny drowned. I was. I think the lifeguards are not on duty because they're all hooking up with the crossing guards who work about two hours a day. Guards guard on GU. Right now. We're gonna go over that way. I see Christy Lee at the news desk. Yeah. Gen Z. Apparently replacing LOL with I J B O L. I J B O L. This is according to the New York Times. Do you want to guess what that means? Take a look. What is it again? I J B O L. Okay. Yeah, I know what this. So we're going to lots of labs, right? What? What is it? Or laughing out loud, rather. Yes, from laughing out loud. Lots of love and laughing out loud. So laughing out loud to ijbol. I just. Big bust. You're close. I just broke out laughing. I just burst out laughing. Oh, very good. Wow. Really? Yes. Unlike R O F L. Do you know what that is? Yeah. Rolling on floor, Rolling on floor. Laughing. I J B O L is meant to describe something people actually do. Michael Mossinio, a 27 year old content creator who lives in Australia, said, I don't. Lmao. It's not. It's just not what I do. Yeah. Laughing my ass off. Yeah, right. Isn't I? Jbo? Isn't the whole point of these things to be brief and quick? Well, that's still. Yeah, well, it's become a thing now. It's like where if I know it, I'm the in crowd and if you don't know it, you're out kind of a thing. Yeah, I think that's the kind of thing. They may also be trying to outrun their parents as soon as their parents know. Right? Absolutely. I used to use the old fashioned. Ha. Me too. Yeah. Ha. If it's really funny. Ha. Exclamation point if it's hilarious. Capital H, capital A, exclamation point. Oftentimes ha for me also means this text session is over. I gave you a laugh. Now let's stop this. Haven't you noticed? You text me every now and then. I'll just go. Hang on. Just to get rid of it. Just to get out of my hair. What are the longer ones of these? I don't know. Initials? Yeah, I don't use many of these at all. I have to look them up all the time. My kids use them all the time. One of the first ones I heard was pos and sure it's not P Said, but a parent over shoulder. Yeah, right, right, right. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. That's. They're talking in prison code like sending kites to each other. I thought it was point of sale, but I retail for a while. But I know that the part of it is inclusivity. Like LGBTQ is now like lgbtqia. Plus pretty soon it's going to be abcdb. You can't have everybody, I don't think in these things. Right. I just think brevity was the key. The. I don't know if it's an urban legend, but the story of the woman who wrote a very heartfelt letter to her staff about someone who was undergoing serious cancer surgery and at the end she put lol, meaning lots of love. Yeah, right. Not an urban legend, just something that one out of every four open micrs talk about. Thank you. I said it might be an urban legend. No, I don't take any credit for it. Thank you very much for undercutting me. I know. So. So would it be undercutting you Want to say? Josh1 Tom87. You forgot million after 87, a first generation iPhone has sold for over $190,000 at auction. Yeah. The record breaking price, nearly 380 times the phone's original price of 499 when it went on sale way back in 2007 LCG Auctions, which hosted the sale, said the 4GB iPhone model was 20 times rarer than the 8GB model released at the same time for 599. Because the 4 gigabyte model was discontinued after just two months, the phone was factory sealed and in its original packaging. What's the point of having this? It's still got anytime minutes on it. They don't want to put them to waste, do they? Well, I guess they know what's in there. I mean, couldn't you. It won't work though, right? I wouldn't think. No. Isn't that always the big sinister? Not that I believe it. Talking into his Apple phone. I'm sure everything's on the up and up, but don't they. The new model comes out and then the old ones are. But couldn't you just rewrap it? Yeah, I think. When they say it's the original packaging. How do they prove that? Factory sealed. I don't know what I, I don't remember how they originally came. What year Was this one? 2007. Oh, I remember. This is the one that came with a. Automatically had a preloaded Bill Haley in the Comets album. That's a really old one. It was U1 you2 Josh, you remember when you originally came? I do. I thought something had gone wrong. Yeah, right. I thought I had done something too much too fast and I melted something inside. Really? The phone is so old, if you ask Siri for something, she goes, what is it, sonny? She got an older voice. Coming from a guy who references the 60s all the time. 2007 is old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oldest in this particular category. Way to undercut him. Do you. Thank you. Do you use Siri? No, not at all. I'm with you, Christy. I never use. I don't even have it set up this morning to play music. Yeah. You just said Siri play music. Mike, do you. Do you Siri on your phone? I think Siri's a migrant, so I. We're not. I'm just kidding. Just a joke. Just a joke. Can't you. I, I. Isn't it possible to have Siri come with different. You could have it a man or a woman, or could you have it but with a heavy Italian accent? That much time I changing her voice. Yeah, I mean, can you get. Could you get like something like, really urban. Oh, boy. I am not participating in this. I should do. Siri's a woman, so she's got to be heard. Yeah. You ask her something. You have to listen to her. Full explanation. I know this isn't popular, but I do rely on my Alexa in the kitchen a lot. No, I think those are very popular, aren't they? Well, I mean, some people say they spy on you or whatever. Oh, I would never have one in my house. Yeah, well, because of you, I took it out of my bedroom because you said that. But Alexa doesn't have to be in the kitchen. Alexa is a powerful woman. And she could be an astronaut. That's true, too. Just letting you know. Just letting you know what's going on. But she's very handy if you need a timer or, you know, I enjoy that. Or if I need a recipe or. Hey, how can I substitute this for this? Well, now you got me one. You have to be able to change Siri's voice. Oh, I'm sure you can. Have to, right? Yeah, I think so. Hey, Siri, can I change your voice? Oh, wait a minute. Oh, Siri's ignoring me. You can change my voice in Siri settings. Oh, I have my phone silenced. That. She just printed it out to me. Oh, nice. That's nice. I'm going to be on the. Does it give you the options you can change it to. Yep. American, Australian, British, Indian, Irish, or South African. British. Okay, now can you turn it on so we can hear it? I don't know. Are you gonna have a Siri? Can you make Siri a man? It's still downloading. Okay. Okay. Well, we'll have. We'll have to find out. Don't undercut me, John. Okay. Continuing with technology. I'm sorry to interrupt, but. So you said you don't use Siri. No. But you do use Alexa. Huh? And when we say things, and if. If we are being listened to in a room anywhere with Alexa, if we say, hey, Alexa, order that canoe. Alexa will answer. Yeah, she will. If it can hear you. Yeah. We were staying at a house while we were building ours, and there was one of those things. I hated it because the girls would walk up to it and, you know, play this Taylor Swift song, and then it would start instantly, and it was too much, too quick. Can you put parental controls on it so it doesn't listen to anything a child says? Probably. Good point. Yeah. I'm with Josh, though. I don't want that sitting in my house, hearing everything that's going on. But the whole thing about spying, it's like, aren't we just revealing ourselves on Tick Tock? Like, no, China doesn't need to spy on us. All they have to do is look on Tick Tock. And they can see everything that we're doing. Yeah, we're dancing, we're doing. Yeah, that's what we're doing. It's like. That's really what we're doing. Do you like being on Tick Tock? I don't enjoy it, but we all have to be on everything now. Another state has banned. I think it was New York. I think they banned TikTok. On government phones. Oh, sure. On government phones. Federal employees. Government employees, yeah, certain states. But how are those employees gonna kick it now? Yeah, how are they gonna kick it? There's no patch. They gotta get ready for break dancing. Dance in the kitchen? Yeah. Do you know that the breakdancing in the Olympics is going to be done at the foot of the Eiffel Tower? Well, why not? There's plenty of room there. It's got a big. Throw some cardboard down. Beautiful. Okay. I hope breakdancing at the Olympics becomes so popular that we can't get into work without having to walk over people. Break dancing. Just so you think that's. You think that's a legitimate addition to the Olympics. I keep meaning to tell you this. You realize that one of the top people in that category is right from here. That is going to be competing in the Olympics. I don't care. I'm not saying it's not athletic. Yeah, but where do you draw the line? Tiddlywinks? I mean, Comparison between break dancing and tiddly. How do you even play tiddlywinks? Who plays that? As a fidget spinner, I would say that I would like to get my people in. According to a new site. Is there a. Do they do break dancing in the disabled Games? Do they spin their chairs? Yes. Let me tell you something. You will not be undercut. Now I can tell you that in the par. In the Paralympics. I don't know, maybe they. I'm just asking. Oh, the worm again, so sorry. You know, I. I want to tell our guest, Mike, I know that you are. You are a professional stand up comedian. Yes. You've been touring for years. You're a man of great skill. However, I always like to preface this by saying even the great Tiger woods at the peak of his career would take. Would take lessons with his swing. Here we go. And we'd like to take this opportunity to teach you a little bit about comedy with our engineer, Ace Cosby. Here he is with his joke of the day. Do you guys know the difference between a grandfather clock and a grandmother clock? No. It's the dong. He's got to be working. Blue it. Ding dong. That's closer than anything in a really long time. Yeah, you're right. I like that very much. The dong was the last time you called it your dog. I got it started. Never. Never. My dong's caught up here in my underwear. Hey, doctor, I know what's going on. Am I checking my dong? When we were talking about dog's itching. Tom, I. I'll ask. I'll ask Mike this. We were talking about certain words that are sort of slang or hip terms that stick around. Like a non binary clock versus one with a dawn. Somebody has to clean the show up, guys. Thank you. Putting the log and analog. The term. Cool. Yeah, that one's stuck. It's been around for a long time, but other terms are fleeting. Sure. Yeah. They don't. They don't stick around. No. Every generation has their own Lego. What do you think is the term, the slang term for the male member? To me it's. It's the go. To would be the D word, right? Not dong. Oh, no, the other D word. Not ding. Dangler. Yeah. Oh, you refer to yours. Danny Warbucks. You prefer to hear this the dangler. Do you? That's what I know. That's gracious. Get your dog checked. Yeah, Doctor, I'm having some pain in my dangler. Yeah. Now, didn't you have to go to the doctor one time because of your. I did have. I had an issue there for a while. It was crazy. What happened. You may have wrote it. What happened, Josh? Yes, Carson. Well, I had. From Wilder. I had five penises. Five penises. My doctor said, boy, how do your pants fit? I said, like a glove. That's a great one. That joke, Dusty. But right after the invention of the glove, day one, invented the glove, day two, that. I mean, is there. Is there a. Because Mike was mentioning the fact that these words like aol, these whatever you call them, acronyms, terms, they. Part of it is being hip and doing something that no one else. That no one else knows. Yeah. I wonder if. Is there a contemporary term, slang term for the male member, that is. You know, we're all too hip to unhip to know. I'm sure we'll find out. I'll go to Twitter. Somebody will tell us. I've heard. I've heard joint. Joint. But recently from like a youth maybe. No maybe. Were you in the pub state? What about John? But joint. Junk. Junk. Spitter. But I mean, junk is. Joint is specific. Might have been. In mean streets, junk encompasses the entire yeah, the whole package. Package and genders as well. Yeah, but joint, I assume. Was this a conversation in a bus station? Are you sure the guy wasn't trying to make a drug deal? I'm trying to be friends. Joint junk. If you could go the other way. You just go. Genitalia. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What if they. My buddy had that joke. Genitalia sounds like an Italian airline. What does quanta sound like? Interesting. We'll have to. Christy, you do some research. Is there a slang term for the mommy parts that you like to use? Because. Can I say something real quick? I'm totally serious. A friend of mine is an ER doctor. I'm this. I'm not making this up. He worked in an area that was. They had a. Perhaps less than sophisticated clientele. And the most common reference from the ladies in the ER would be, quote, down there. Yeah, I'm not. I've heard. Serious down there is what a lot of people say. I've heard Nani who? Nani who? Now, can I give you the street term Sniz. Sniz. Sniz. Sniz. Sure, yeah. Getting sniz on the reg. Yeah, Sniz on the regular. That's the lady says calls it a sniz. She's not a lady. This is Dr. Seuss's wife, Sniz. Sounds like a character from Bazooka Joe. Hey, what's this do for lunch? Sally has a sneeze. We're coming right back in just a minute. On the Best of the Bob and Tom show, we'll find out what a Cooter gator is. A cooter caterpillar. Next on the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom gameday energy starts before the first snap with Chumba Casino. Whether you're killing time before kickoff or celebrating a big touchdown, Chumba Casino brings the thrill of the game right to your browser. Spin the reels, play blackjack, instant scratch style cards and more. It's like having a full playbook of fun at your fingertips. Sign up in seconds and score a free welcome bonus, plus daily login bonuses each time you return. And here's the extra point. You don't need to make a purchase to get in on the action. So whether you're going for a Hail Mary or just looking for a solid drive of entertainment, Chumba Casino gives you a chance to score some serious prizes without leaving your home turf. It's your move. Start your streak@chumbacasino.com today. Sponsored by VGW Group. No purchase necessary. See terms@chumbacasino.com must be over 21 and present in a state where it's legal to play. This is the Bob and Tom show here on a Wednesday. Good morning. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. What's a cootergator? Let's find out. Ace Cosby's here. Howdy. I'm Chick McGee, and here's Tom Criswell. Thank you very much. Did you ever refer to your panties as a Cooter gator? No. Cooter gator. What? Oh, no one talks. I'm on board with cater. Cooter cater. Caters. No, Cooter. The gator gonna eat you up. Oh, it's like a neck thing. Yeah, like a neck thing. No, Cooter gator. I have. I have a gator, actually. A couple games. I'm trying to start a new trend. Really? Hey, where'd you put your cooter gator? Try that at home, see where it gets you. Oh, that's a great idea. Thank you. Thank you, Christy. How about this? Why don't you bring that cooter on over here, Please. Say it. Women love. We want a full report tomorrow. Okay, so we last. When we last left you, we had a underwear clad man accused of prowling. That's a word you don't hear. A prowler. Yep. That sounds like a word my mom. You know what I keep thinking? Prowler is Fargo. And that's what Francis McDormand calls the cop car. Yeah, yeah. They're not going out and warmed the Prowler up. Yeah. Wasn't there a car called the Prowler? I don't know. Yeah, yeah, Plymouth. No, there wasn't Plymouth Prowler. Well, Christy Lee's at the news desk. What else have you got over there, Christy? There was a Plymouth Prowler. Plymouth Prowler? Yes. That's ridiculous. 1997 to 2002, dimer Chrysler came out with the Plymouth Prowler in America. Yes. I'm even more amazed. Not since the Lincoln Lurker has there been you guys. As soon as you see this, you're gonna go, oh, yeah, I remember that. It looks like this. Never seen. Looks ridiculous. Yeah, it's like a drag car. Let me see. It did not sell well. It's like if a PT Cruiser were crushed by a boulder. I had a hot. I had a hot wheel Plymouth Prowler. Did you? I sure did. Oh, there you go. Yes, sir. The silhouette. The Prowler. Oh, Hot Wheels. Man, oh, man. Okay, so a Prowler to Me implies a bird. Well, okay, that's fair enough. No, it isn't. You wouldn't want to name a car after some criminal. I don't think a problem. Jack the Ripper, the rapist. Does a prowler steal or is he just. Is he just keep on going? Hey. He said trying to change the subject. You think a burglar picks his nose, it'd be a burger booger. Prowler is casing. He's not stealing. Right. He's just working that. So he's eating a hamburger. He's up to no good is what he is watching. Okay. You're still working that out? Yes, it's the first. The first car, by the way, you buy against your will. Rapist. So you're still working on that? He's still working on that. I'm going to start bonsaiing over here. Bonsai means a thousand years old. That's why. No, I'm sorry. 10,000. So that's a bonsai tree. Lasts that long? It takes forever to grow. Oh, and it says here. Don't. Oh. 10,000 years. Stop talking about it. Okay. Okay, good. You're welcome. The Come and Go convenience store chain in the news today. Apparently they will be rebranded under new ownership as Jizz and Jets. They're not really doing themselves any favors. Who is it? Jizz. Jizz and Jets. I thought it was wide and white. I see. What's the wife. I see. They're like flying. They've got like goggles on and little. There's a little jet and Captain Jizz. If you go. If you go to a common go. They don't call them slushies. What do they call them? Jizzies. The Utah base, the Come and Go is based in Utah, has decided to retire the brand after acquiring the chain. Sources told the trade publication CSP Daily News that the rebrand part of an assessment that the Maverick brand resonated with customers more than Come and Go did in its markets. Oh, Maverick is cooler anyway. I find that hard to believe. Come and Go is a wonderful name. One former Maverick member admitted, quote, I think there was some concern about the inadvertent double entendre of the Come and Go name. Well, I think it doesn't help that they spell. Well, that does help. Help. When you go to any porn site, it's with a C. Well, they could have spelled it C. Yes, thank you, Pat. Oh, I see what you're saying. How about that? You know what? They were K. Why didn't they do that? Yeah, why didn't they have kum with little drops of moisture coming off the m. Why didn't they do that? And an eggplant. Yeah, right. Silence. At least the kum. At least they can use it in the New York Times crossword puzzle. They're not going to use C U M. Not in the time. Well, you think they would if it was Magna Blank Laude. You think they would? That's a fair question. They might be able to. I bet they would. Who didn't say magna come loudly? Was it just me shouting all our development. So in comedy. The joy of a comedy. So they're gonna. All the come and go signs will be coming down. No, that'd be called yes. Okay. You could have one in your basement. Yeah, I hear that. They're gonna. They're gonna. You know how sometimes you'll have a Starbucks inside of Target? They're gonna put those inside BJ's Wholesale Club so you can have set of BJ's or some come and go. It's a burglar eating a burger. Picking his nose. So a burger. Burger, burger, burger. Booger. A booger. Burger, burger, burger. A man had a close call after his friend used a lighter to ignite his flagellants. Does he live in Bangor, Maine? Caught fire. Viral video shows Mr. Bin Toosie of Jilan, China. You know me, Bintouzi. Hey. Lying on his bed as he prepares to showcase his unusual talent to his friend. Showcases going. Ben's buddy takes out a lighter as Ben raises his hips. And to both of their surprise, the fart ignites a massive flame and sets Ben's trousers on fire. Yes. Yes. Whoosh. Yep, that'll happen. It's a thing. Fortunately, he grabbed his pants and put out the fire. So he's in Bangor and he's eating a hamburger. He's the banger. Burger burglar. Have you ever seen flatulence lit? Yes. In person and on video. I have never seen it in person. Yeah, I was overjoyed. I did not. I thought. I thought they were. I thought they were pulling my leg. Yeah. Thought it couldn't be done. And then I saw my distinguished college roommate do it. I don't think I've ever laughed harder in my life. It's amazing. Yeah, it works, but it kind of goes back up and in. You gotta. It doesn't up and in. It finds its way. It wants to follow. The flame wants to go where that source is. Yeah. So did your friend burn his butt? He yelled and he goes, ah, singe me bad. And did that was the Last. Cinch me bad man. We were screaming with laughter, I bet. But, yeah, it is. It is hard to believe that something can come out of the human body that is, in fact, flammable. Isn't that wild? Isn't that something? I. I'm guessing not a lot of women do it. I think it's probably more of a. More of a guy thing. Can you light the front? Oh, queen maybe. No, that wouldn't be. No. Now, if somebody. There's no methane in there. I bet Eileen Wernos could light a fart. What do you think? I guarantee she did. Damn right she did. That's what made her the true monster. Coming up on the show next hour, spider mites and pizza talk. You don't want to miss that. But next, Ally Breen with sexy time coming up next on the Bob and Tom show. Next roll with Vernon Davis. The transformative journeys of athletes, artists and entrepreneurs. We have very special guests. Ladies and gentlemen, Devon Franklin. Whether it's the movies I'm doing, whether it's TV shows, I just tap into the truth. That's what I bring to every project. Ladies and gentlemen, Isaac Keys. People always ask, how did you make it to the NFL? How'd you get into acting? There's a story behind all of that. It's about whether you're willing to tell your story or not. Next role isn't about what's next. It's about why they do it. Next roll with Vernon Davis. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. This is the Bob and Tom show on a Wednesday morning. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. New Year's Eve. We've got a segment here or two with Ali Breen and sexy time. It's Ali Breen. Hey, Ali. Where are you guys? Hi. Where are you? I'm in Florida and I'm on a weird iPad because I dropped my phone in a saltwater pool, so it's useless. So I'm using, like a cheap iPad to try to call in. Okay. I know that you. You grew up in New England. You grew up in New England. Can you hear me? Yeah. You froze. That's all right. You sound great. You sound. It's. The good news is it's frozen at a pretty good view of your face. Oh, there you are. Oh, there we go. I'm frozen, I think. Now you're back. Now you're back. Growing up in New England, are you aware of the pie for breakfast tradition? Yes, absolutely. We used to put it in crepes. My dad would make crepes and we'd fill it with pie. So we did double diabetes. Oh, yes. I've had pie for breakfast. I did not grow up in New England, but I grew up fat. I would have thought that would have got a better sad. It says in New England, cheddar with apple pie is a very Vermont New England style thing. Sharp cheddar cheese. Do you put cheese in apple pie ever? I never have. I'm aware of that. And I've always kind of wanted to try it, and I never have. Yeah, and then this one sounds ghastly. Creamed onions on mashed turnips. Ugh. Yeah. That's horrible. Anything with turnips, this says they show up everywhere. Okay. Yeah, I've never had that one before. Well, Ally, the name of this show is Sexy Time. Trying to help people with their love lives. What do you have in the letter world today? Dear Allie, I went out with a girl from Hinge and she showed up in a sequined dress for a 6:30pm dinner date. We were going to the Cheesecake Factory. Then she said, I know him a lot, but better to know that now rather than later, Right? What the hell does that even mean? No, she's right. She is right. I love her. What you did there was that you went on a date, you found out she's not really your type, and that's it. Yep. Worked out. Didn't really need to put pen to paper on this one. Yeah. Although I am a. I am a fan of the Cheesecake Factory, and I think that the chefs and cooks there should get some kind of an award because they have 10,000 items on the menu. It's insane. Yeah, it's a great menu. We don't have one by us. Oh. I was hoping this would end with a description of a delightful cheesecake. Yeah, I don't know what to say. So the sequin dress bothered him. Well, that is a lot. 6:30. Let me ask you this. What message does that send to a man? She puts a lot of effort into her look. I think. Yes. She likes to be the center of attention is what I think. That too. If you want to. If you want to. Do you think. Does this indicate in any way she might be a woman of easy virtue? No. No, not at all. I think it's a good sign that she's cuckoo. I. I look at her less negative. She told you ahead of time. She's like, hey, I'm a lot. Yes, maybe in a fun way. She sounds awesome. She does. I wish women would be that more up front again. I'm jealous of how much effort she put in because I would probably just show up like this and be like, all right, if you show up on a hinge date that pregnant, I have to find out. Is there a website for pregnant women that want to date new guys? No. But I did date a. Start dating a woman who was eight months pregnant and we went out for like a month and a half. We did it up until she gave birth. Are you serious? So what happened when she gave birth that you guys decided? Was it just. Well, she stopped calling. She was. Maybe they giving birth. He did not. You weren't still interested? No, not as much. But I ended up babysitting her child a few times after. You're like John Travolta and look who's talking while she went on dates? Yeah. That's amazing. I don't think she. No, she was at work. Was there any late night activity with this lady? A little bit, yeah. No. Her friend contacted me and was like, hey, you seem like somebody would go out with a pregnant lady. And I was like, yeah, let's do this. Well, that. That really says a lot, doesn't it? I took it as a compliment. That's got to be. Oh, yeah, definitely. But that's also got to be someone's kink. I bet, like, I bet someone is looking for that. Well, what's funny, we went and shot pool and she, like, laid her belly on the table. I was like, oh, that's hot. Well, that's a. Did you guys smoke the same cigarettes? No, she bit. She was pregnant. Okay, good. Yeah. If there is a website like that, I. That would be classic. I'm sorry. The name of the show is Sexy Time. Our host is comedian Allie Breen and you spell her name A, L, L, I, B, R, E, E, N. I emphasize that because you can reach her on your favorite social media platform with your questions about your love life. I think we've solved the young lady in the spangled dress. Sequin dress, yes. Who knows? Sounds like a fun gal. Who's to say? Now let's move forward. What else have you got? Dear Allie, my mom hates my girlfriend and is now asking me not to bring her to Thanksgiving dinner after I had already invited her. My girlfriend has tons of friends doing friendsgiving, so I told her she should do that and I'll just meet her after. She said I should take a stand and insist she either comes or not go myself. We've only been dating about six months, but we are really close. I don't know what to do here. Why would she want to go if she's not wanted? Exactly. He shouldn't go either. But it's only been six months. And then you got that war with your mom. The mom's the one in the wrong. Yeah, the mom is wrong. He shouldn't go to her dinner. Yeah. Yeah. I'm kind of with Tom. Oh, mom, you. I. I always tend to. If the person who gives the ultimatum. Yeah. Is the person I don't. Don't go with is usually. You should never give ultimatum. Exactly. Yeah. Especially on a holiday. That's so mean. Yeah. The girlfriend's just gonna be uncomfortable the entire time. The side eye and like. Oh, you didn't like that? Or. Oh, you don't. You don't. I don't think one of the options is dragging the girl over there. It's not. I mean, that'd be awful. Yes. Yeah. No, no. The option is don't go. Go to. Go to Friendsgiving, whatever it's called. Yeah. But that sounds terrible, too. Mom's wrong, but I think the girlfriend's also. I can solve this. Wait a second. I got the answer. Is the Cheesecake Factory open on Thanksgiving? Yeah, you can order ahead. Wear a sequin dress. Okay, let's move on. What have you got now? Dear Allie, I'm married and I've been dating a girl from work on this side. Yeah. Yeah. My wife and I actually have an arrangement where we're allowed to hook up as long as it's discreet, but only when I'm traveling for work because I travel a lot. Okay. The thing is, now I get why she said that was the rule, because I think I'm falling in love with this girl. But the weird twist is she only dates married men because she doesn't want anything serious. Oh, my God. Do you guys think that's for real, or is that a tactic to get me to want her more? Because I can't ever. What do I do here? No, she's not interested in. No, it's for real. I like that you created this whole game. It's a cat and mouse, and she just wants me even more, so she pushes me away. Yeah, that's a little. Little, Little complicated here. Yeah. No, no, she's that girl. Your side piece is not interested in anything long. You need a new side piece. Yeah. Oh, so you're recommending that? Well, apparently, they. It works for them. He's been doing it on the road, so a lot of rules. Yeah. And he's allowed as long as it's not. He's allowed. This one's breaking the rule, right? Yeah, I see. Okay, I have no answer. This marriage is over, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. You fall in love with somebody who's not your wife, how do you. And even if you break up with that person, how do you then just go back to your wife and pretend like everything's cool, knowing that there's at least one other person out there you'd rather be with? Do a sister wife type thing. Bring her in the side piece, though. That's it? Oh, yeah. She doesn't want any commitments. She just wants to bang around. Did he put that side piece's phone number? Okay, we got time for a couple more. Allie Breen is our guest. The show is sexy time. What have you got over there, Ally? Dear Allie, I hooked up with a guy from my friend's wedding that was the hottest guy I've ever been with. We spent the night together, had breakfast, cuddled. He was super attentive. And then he completely ghosted me. I asked my friend about it. She said he hadn't said anything. She hadn't even known that we hooked up. So I asked her if she would talk to him and she said she didn't want to get involved. How do I get through to him? I'm so confused. Why spend the whole morning cuddling if you don't want more? Oh, my God. No, he's not interested. He may have been the hottest guy you've ever hooked up with. You were not the hottest girl he's ever hooked up. Did you have any trouble when he was trying to find his wedding ring that he had ditched? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. No, if he wanted to be with you and wanted to know your, he'd find you. Get over it. Yeah. Yeah. If you're gonna reach out, though, reach out to him like on a Friday at 10pm you know what I mean? Here comes the maniac. Listen up. You want to hook up again and then maybe it can progress to something else? No, you know, I. I swear that's not crazy advice. What? What she's. What I think Olseman is saying is when he's maybe drunk and looking or you've had a few to drink. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly. So this guy lives there in the same town and we don't know that. Yeah, we don't know. Remember, Altman's advice isn't often based in any sort of fact or reality. Okay. Enjoy the beautiful night you had together, if anything. Exactly. This does sound like a pretty good premise to Start a movie, though. Yeah. Met at a wedding. I'm sure there has been. I'm sure. Yeah. Where the guy's kind of disappeared and no one sort of knows who. Maybe he could have crashed the wedding and no one knows who he is. He's this mystery guy. By the way, this guy is kind of a gentleman. Yeah. At least he got you breakfast and cuddled. He did. He's kind of a gentleman. And he also didn't go tell a bunch of people you guys hooked up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's pretty adult. Well, that's either good or bad. That's either like he doesn't want people to know or being, you know. I think it's great. Yeah. Unless. I don't know, maybe it is bad. Can we get a picture of you, man? Coming up in just a minute here on this Wednesday morning Bob and Tom Show. Spider Mike Mites and Pizza Talk. Come on back. This is the Bob and Tom Show. This is the Bob and Tom show here in the Bob and Tom studios. This is Christopher speaking. The gang is back in here live next Monday morning. Here's a segment about spider mites. Little pizza talk for you to hear. We have a number of things to get to right now. Christy Lee has stepped out and Jess Hooker has mounted the news saddle. Boy, that was a wild scene, huh? Christie stood up, gave us all the finger and walked out. Zoo mocked us. She said, f you guys. Zoo mocked us. We were talking about this haunted house thing. It's real. This poll in which two out of five people say they've experienced unexplained phenomena in their own house. Got some interesting letters here. Some of these are pretty creepy and. You're a believer, Jess. I am a believer, Willie. Yeah. Here's something. I don't know if I don't believe in it. I just don't mess with it. Does that make sense? Sure. This is. This is from John in Charleston, West Virginia. I think my house is haunted. Well, actually, I think my wife is the ghost. Because after sex I always hear, boo. What is that called when you have sex with a ghost? Succubus is the succubus or the incubus or the entity that gives you an order. Oh. The Suck Bus is one of my favorite online programs. Sure. You gotta pay for that, right? Suck Bus. The Bang bus. It really is. Isn't that. I mean, that's. That's the word, right? Succubus. Succubus. Yeah. This is a letter from dgr. Plenty of girlfriends have told me that my father has awakened them. Sitting on the side of the bed. It's kind of creepy. Yeah, I don't think that's a ghost. Well, I think your dad's a perv. Yeah, it's his father. Dead or. Yeah, okay. No, no, great health. He's. He once again living in his parents house. Both have passed, if you will. That's. Yeah, that's kind of creepy. Of all the things you set up, you didn't tell us that. Sorry, I was trying to edit on the fly. My mother also dead, sitting in the kitchen asking for cups of tea. More tea, please. The dishwasher starts on its own. Oh yeah. My father rearranges the tools in the shop. Wow, that's a dad move. Yeah, even a dad goes, can you imagine if a dad goes, who messed with the thermostat? I'm not heating the outside. Shut the door, dad. You're still worried about this to demo? Because I say so. These light bulbs are cheaper to run, dad. My granddaughter was two, writes Linda from Ohio. When we moved into the house I now own. She would see a man in the living room. His name was Bob. Wow. I didn't experience anything until everyone moved out and started renovations. I heard them everywhere and things were being displaced. I finally had a talk with the ghosts and some things settled down. My best friend said I was nuts, that I believed in haunting. Then she came to my house and demanded they show themselves. She is now a believer. My daughter is now 14 and sees the spirits, including the thin man in the basement. The Thin man in the basement. Be the great title of a man. That's. Well, there's a. That's the. An online Slenderman. Slenderman. Yeah. Slender Man's supposed to be crazy scary. Scary in any event. So some people. HBO documentary. There are folks living and living in their house. Yeah, yeah. That goes into a whole bad thing. Oh, I know. I know it does. Okay, so. Yikes. Very scary. Do you believe in ghosts, Tom? No, I haven't seen any. Oh, okay. Just not skeptical. Haven't had the experience. I'll let you know when I do. How many ghosts have been trying to haunt you and you're just busy on your phone. You're just getting coffee. Let's move on. Next. Get this. Get the scissors from the coast. Let's go. Well, what have you got over there from the science desk. When male. Yeah. When male spider mites are ready to mate, they strip off their skin of maturing females. They strip off the skin of maturing females as part of an unusual mating ritual. That is unusual. Scientists and scientists in Austria uncovered the act for the first time when studying spider mites. The dust spec size relatives of arachnids such as spiders and scorpions in their lab. Okay, I don't understand. They strip what now? The skin off the female? Yeah. Weird. Freaky. Wow, that's. That's extra naked. Does that mean that they die? No. It doesn't sound like that. No, because you can like the animals shed and they don't die. And they're only having sex for reproductive purposes, so they don't. Well, if I want to get this one pregnant, I got to kill it first. Last time we had spiders in the news, they were causing erections. That's right. And they're actually using it now, right? Yeah, they're trying there. Well, they're. They're trying to get the venom in whatever it is directly on the source. No, thankfully you don't have to have the spider bite your wings. That's what I thought that'd be interesting. A little like a spider cage that fits over well. Yeah, Relax, relax until it goes for it. You're trying to hook up and the guy's like, hold on a second. Spider, huh? Josh Gomez Adams. The story came in while you were gone and I saved it for you and for Ace. Oh, thank you. This is a new survey revealing the average American eats enough pizza in a year to fill a suitcase. Huh, that makes sense. That seems reasonable to me. Okay, the average person say they can eat over 5slos. 5 slices of pizza by themselves in a single sitting. Okay. How many? Five. Oh, five. That sounds about right. Well, what's the crust situation? They don't specify. All right. Sorry, I didn't know you weren't taking questions. This makes no sense. Americans prefer frozen ready to bake at home pizza than eating fresh pizza in a restaurant. Sure. More convenient in a restaurant. Yeah. With people. That doesn't make sense to you, but it makes sense to most of most people. I think you don't like getting a nice hot pizza delivered to your table at a restaurant. I mean, man, you order pizza at a restaurant. All right, we'll eat in an hour. 15. So you like to stand in front of the micro, watch it spin? No, you know me, I have a pizza pizzazz. Yes. And you can watch it spin. But I don't sit there and watch it. Mouth watering, fork and knife in hand. You wouldn't use a fork and a knife. You fold, fold and shove. Fold and shove. Yep. Okay. I eat and make love the same way. Fold and Shove. Okay, Josh. For you. Yeah. I'm fat. I jerk off. What do you want? Well, Josh, my surprise was I have your mom on the phone. Oh, that's poor. You think she doesn't know she did my laundry. Okay, what night of the week is most. Most pizzas are consumed? Oh, it's got to be Friday. I was gonna say Friday. I. Ours is Thursday. I don't know, but I think. I think Monday is not a bad guess because the answer is Friday. Oh, I had one last Friday. There you go. How many nights a week are you averaging, though? Would you say pizza? Yeah, I. Only on the weekend. Oh, okay. Treat yourself a little bit on the. Be good to yourself. That's nice. Did you guys have a pizza night growing up? No, no. We did. Yeah. It was just random. You did? Yeah. I mean, I don't know why it's always been Thursday. Oh, yeah. That's nice. What night do you do? Breakfast for dinner. That's like on an every other week rotation. And usually that's Monday or Tuesday. That's the greatest, though. Yeah, it's good. Oh, that's right. Do you care about the shape of your pizza? I prefer Sicilian. So that's a rectangle. Oh. 65% of Americans want their pizzas circular. Yeah, I like it circular. 32% prefer the thick crust. Okay, well, do you want triangles or party slices? Both. I like thin crust. Party slices. Yeah, Thick crust, triangles. Okay. Is Sicilian chest the same as Detroit style? I don't know. I don't know what Detroit style is. Sicilian is about this. Yeah, Detroit style. It has the sauce on top. Well, that's how Sicilian is also. Yeah. The cheese Detroit apparently has. Each crust has, like, that burnt side. Yeah, that's how Sicilian is also. So it's not. That is tasty, Jess. You're right. That is very good. My favorite. Now, do you. When you were a kid and your mom would make you a sandwich, did she cut it at all? Or if she cut it, did she cut it into rectangles or triangles? And did you care? My dad would do it and my dad did it in triangles. So two. Two slices. Oh, you get four corner to corner. Yeah. So that. That first bite was the perfect. How about you, Tom? Yeah, I know. I. I like those little trials here at some kind of cocktail reception. And they have like little. Those little mini sandwiches. Don't you like little triangles? Yeah, sure. They're good. They're good. Pet of fours. Yes. But this says. This says people prefer a round pizza. Okay. You do you. Yeah, I Kind of do. Yeah. Makes no sense. Yeah. Do you fold and stuff? No, of course. Okay. Yeah. It depends on the situation. Depends how? Willie, are you a folder? I'm a folder. For sure. I'm a folder. Deep dish and stuff. And you know, knife and fork. Then you have to. Obviously Sicilian. Probably fork and knife too. But yeah, if it's a classic New York style pizza, for sure. So you fold it like you put your finger in the middle. Fold it. Yep. That way you don't fold it backward. That is insane, baby. I've never seen that. Have you? Yeah. If someone does that in front of me, I'm gonna hit them. You don't. What? You don't fold the tip back to the crust. I don't think. I didn't think that was possible, actually. I think that's true. Sicilian style. You take a bite and then you punch somebody when they're unconscious. You put in the trunk. I would think folding it would take away some of the taste. It. It just gives you crust, but it doesn't run out everywhere. It's a good mouth feel. It is. And if you got a lot of flop, if you're dealing with a floppy pie. Right. Full the help of the flop. It does. Here's what we. This here's what we get. Like we get into an argument at my house. Huh? First of all, you're there. No, that. That would probably be part of it. That is a source of contention. I will. I will say this. I love day old spaghetti. Big fan. Yeah. Do not like day old pizza. I don't think it's ever any good. But if you are going to reheat it, do you prefer microwave reheating, reheating in an oven, reheating in an air fryer, or eating it cold? Jess, you're the chef. What's the best? So I. This is a big fight amongst a lot of people. I know. I will leave. I'm not kidding. I will leave pizza on. On the stovetop all night and I will eat it the next morning at room temperature. I don't think it needs to be refrigerated. I don't think that it's unsafe. This is. You are wrong and disgusting. Is this sausage pizza? Any kind of pizza? You can't leave dairy out overnight. Yes, you can. Yeah. That's not even dairy. That, that. That's. It's plastic cheese. You can do whatever you want to do. I'm not gonna leave. What are you doing? Refrigerating. I'm refrigerating. Yeah. I like to Reheat. I usually do microwave because I'm lazy. But if I'm taking time, I'll do on the stovetop, little water. And then I cover it up and it kind of steams it. Okay, the answer is you eat. You microwave it, but you eat a cold piece while the microwave. Yes, that's true. So I'm surprised to hear that from you because I'm surprised you had leftover pizza. Sometimes there's a Bogo. Deal. Okay, Tom, Last Friday, I heated my pizza. Frozen pizza, home run in, right? Ate about half of it. It about seven o'. Clock. I get up at like one in the morning, pop it in the air fryer and have the rest of it. So the air fryer is a good way to get it reheated. I like a pizza stone. If you're gonna reheat, use a pizza that's getting complicated. That cr. That helps keep the crust crispy. That's how I like it. Okay, this says 18 of people will eat it cold. Ah, not a fan. No, I'm fine with it. I love cold Pierre. Absolutely. I'll eat cold spaghetti. But don't you eat everything opposite? You like your ice cream melted? That's, That's. That's very good too. I melt ice cream. I. I heat up. You drink it. Huh? You spoon it in like soup. Or do you drink it? No, you. It's gotta be. You gotta. You gotta put it in the microwave very carefully. You can't. I've seen Chick do it. It's brilliant. Really. It just softens it. 30 seconds. Because I don't have any teeth, it's really hard to chew. Ice cream. Now you gotta get it soft. I like my ice cream. I eat ice cream. Watch the Big Bang Theory and laugh my ass off. As for toppings, the big winner, pepperoni, tomato sauce. That doesn't count. That's standard. Okay, let's. Let's agree on this. A pizza is. Is cheese and sauce. Right there. Only 61% demand tomato sauce on their pizza. Well, then it's not pizza. What's the other choice? Nothing or. I don't know. I know. With the barbecue chicken pizza. They put barbecue sauce on. Sounds good. No, keep it. Mozzarella. 60%, huh? Mozzarella cheese. Okay, now they're counting cheese as a topping. Well, cheese is a topic. I'll take a pizza with just no sauce and the crust. Why don't you want cheese? Nope. Just. Just the crust. Pepperoni, edges, sausage. When it comes to preferences, which. And they both, by a substantial margin, are Superior to mushrooms according to the average American. And then do you sprinkle the dry Parmesan on your pizza? No, no. I do red pepper, but not Parmesan. I rarely do either, but both fine options. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I agree. Nothing wrong with either. Yeah. Have you ever eaten pizza for breakfast? 70% of Americans say yes. Sure, sure, sure. Apparently Ace wakes himself up at 1am I don't sleep like normal people. No, I don't think you do anything. Normal people. Okay. What percentage of people, Jess Hooker, say they would serve pizza at their own wedding? Well, I love this because my best friend served pizza at her wedding. And Billy. Yeah, I would say I don't. 40%. Really? Yeah. 40 of people. I'd say 12 I've done after dinner, like on the dance floor a couple hours, everyone's wasted and they bring out like 12 pies. Sure. That there's true, there's nothing better. But that's not the reception meal, of course. Have you ever had about 12 pies? Open it up and there's a line of cocaine in the pieces. That's a reception. That's really something. Get your second. No one's hungry all of a sudden. Hey, that's not a Baron package. Pizza. Pizza. Eight ball. Eight ball. This has the average American eats pizza. How many times per month, Jess? Four. Good. You're close. Yeah, I would really. Yeah, I would thought way higher. I mean, four is basically once a week, right? Half, 15 days. You guys would be so disappointed in how not often I eat pizza. Whatever you say, John. Your mom just asked me on the phone. And what do you. What do you do more? Eat pizza or jerk? Oh my God. What I like is why are they mutual? We're coming right back with more of the Bob and Tom show here on this Wednesday morning. Another segment with the beautiful, lovely Ally Breen. That's next here on the Bob and Tom Show. Oh, yeah. I. I hate soup. I hate soup. You just never know the things that could go in soup. What? I hate soup. I hate soup. You just don't know all the things that could fall in soup. When I was a kid, my older sister baby sat for me and made a bowl of chicken soup. But she couldn't make me eat it cause the parsley looked like fruit flies. So she broke a yardstick over my head. Hate soup. I hate soup. You just never know the things that could go in soup. Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn wrote a Russian novel called A Day in the Life of Ivan Desanovich. Ivan was eating some soup when he Scooped an eyeball out of his spoon and didn't remember reading it in the ingredients on the can. I hate soup. I hate soup. It scares me to death. What's holding its breath in soup. Soup. Soup. Wow. Wow. That's a beautiful tune, Haywood. This is the Bob and Tom show from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Here's another segment with comedian Ali Breen. Ladies and gentlemen, joining us via satellite, it's comedian Ali Breen. Where are you, Ali? I'm in like a pod at Fox. I have to tape something for them around 10, so I'm down here early. You? Ah, nice. They have pods. Yes. Yeah, it's where Hannity goes to fart. He has a special tube type thing. Does he sell them? Yeah, they're ranting. Well, the show is called Sexy Time. The way it works is you send Ali Breen your problems and she reads them to us and we try to help. You can reach her. A L L I B R E E N Ali Breen on your favorite social media platform. Ally, what have we got? Dear Allie, I found texts from my boyfriend talking to his ex about how they regretted how things ended and how good this ex used to be. He hasn't seen her or anything, but I'm really mad about this and I don't know how to bring it up without getting him mad that I snooped his phone. What do I do? Leave now. Oh, boy. You think she should break up? Yes. Why? This guy wants to be with his old girlfriend. He said that to somebody. Well, but should she say that? Exactly. Should she have been looking in his phone? I mean, it's possible. What did she say? Exactly. But not check on people's phone. Okay, well, I agree with you. They were saying they regretted how it ended and they were reminiscing about how good the sex was. He was saying this to the ex? Yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's over. Sounds like they might end up hooking up again. Oh, for sure. But that's like part of the breakup, right? It sounds like. Yeah. He wants to. He wants to go back. She must have had a gut feeling she started going through his phone. Yeah. She deserves. Yeah. Meaning he's acting guilty or something weird. And he is. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. You're suggesting Josh is what, now? No, I. Yeah, this. It sounds like he may still be interested in his ex. The evidence is there. I Don't know. Yeah, yeah, confirming. But does she bring it up to him? Does she say, hey, I know you're talking to your ex. You have to fess up on the fact that you. I think you should steal some stuff from him before you break up. Well, yes. Yes. Empty his bank account. I was thinking more like a mug or something. Hit him up style. Yeah. Okay, good. Yeah, we've. Our work is done. Let's go on to our next letter. Dear Ellie, I've been on and off with the same guy almost five times over the last 10 years. I love him and he claims he's grown every single time. But now I feel like I'm just a backup plan for when he finds something better. Do you think there's any way I can get him to be serious about me? Or have I let him go too far in this direction already? What should I do, win the lottery? We'll respect you, girl. You need to respect yourself. Yeah. Get out of there. Gross times. That seems excessive. You deserve better. Yeah, no, that's a lot. And it's not like she did anything to let him go too far. It's just that he was already a narcissist and she just fed into it and didn't realize it. I've grown, though. I'm changed, right? Okay, come back in. You know what? Guy admits he's grown. Come on, that's never happened. Yeah, it's a lie. That's for sure. A lie. Yeah. And it might be the case that if she is like, no more. I'm done with this. Then he's like, oh, I had a great thing and comes crawling back for sure, you know? Yeah. Better than just letting him walk all over you every time. Whatever she does, it'll stay the same. Yeah, he's never going to change. Yeah, if they hook up, it'll unhook eventually. Yeah, that's true. We've solved another good one. But this is great. We're two for two. Let's move on. Allie, what else you got? Dear Allie, my girlfriend gets drunk and asks me things like, if we were both different flavored Doritos, would I fight to be in the same bag as her? That's a quote. Is she trying to annoy the hell out of me and see if I'll stay with her, or is she serious? Finally. Sober girl, such a guy. Question that I. Is she trying to annoy the hell out of me? She sounds fun. She sounds awesome. Yeah, that sounds like one of those. One of those card games that you sit at the table after Thanksgiving and you have to grab cars that eventually start lots of arguments. That sounds insufferable. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Get out. Most girls get drunk and want to pick a fight, though. That's not actually. That's like, yay. That's super fun and cute. If you don't like her quirks, go find some other boring. That's. I'm wondering if that's from one of those games, you know? Do you know what I'm talking about, Josh? I know. Yeah. Yeah, right? It sounds like something like that. And it's just. Just off. She just trying to annoy me. That's what he's asking, is the test. Is the test that she's actually trying to annoy him to death and see if he'll stay with her, or is she asking those questions legitimately? Is what he's trying to. No, she's drunk. She thinks it's funny. What was the exact question again? If your dirt. What is it? Doritos. It really doesn't even make sense. If we were both different flavored Doritos, would I fight to be in the same bag as her? So in other words, would a. Would a cool ranch say, hey, I know I'm cool ranch. I should go, but I am in love with the nacho cheese. May I go? And I need to get in that bag. It's beautiful with the Dorito gods. I just want something. I think we just wrote someone's wedding vows, You cool wrench. Yeah, she thinks it's fun, I think, and you're gonna have to get used to it. Okay, well, let's move on. Once again, we're speaking with comedian Ali Breen. A L, L, I, B, R, E, E, N. I Spell it out because you can reach Ali on social media platforms everywhere and send us your love troubles. And you can see clearly we are fixing the them in a. In a brisk and proper manner. Let's go on to our next letter. Dear Ally, I met a girl online who was in a lesbian relationship for the last seven years and is now switching back to men. Here we go. Do you think. Do you think now that she's dying for the D? Or should I be treading lightly here? How would you play this? Let me tell you something. You are over yourselves. Good luck. This is some real insight into guy's mind. Yeah, right there. Yeah, exactly. She, like, can't handle life without me craving it, man. Yeah. What you gonna do in seven years? She's dying for it. Yeah. Yeah. To put it in such general terms, dying for the D. I. Maybe if. If she's dying for him, that would be more appropriate. I don't even know what this guy's asking. I. You know. Yeah. The lesbians can still find a D to use. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think the answer is a very confident no. She's not dying. Yeah. Do this girl a favor. Seven years. Don't talk to her anymore. We have really done some good work today. Yeah, we're breaking them all up. There's a lot of fish in the sea. Go fishing. Yeah. Okay, next letter. What have we got? Dear Ally, A lot of times when I go down to my girlfriend, there are bits of toilet paper down there. Don't you think after just one time she'd make sure that never happens again? It's pretty gross. Or is she just too comfortable with me at this point? What's going on here? She doesn't know. She doesn't know. She definitely doesn't know. She rubbernecking to check it out before. Yeah. Buy her a better brand, for God's sake. What is she. What is she using? Dollar Store tp Shredding it down there. She's stealing it from a nearby motel. It gets rough for women. We gotta wipe front to back. There's all these rules. There's so many rules. So many rules. You don't even know. You'll never know all the rules. Stay in the shower. Nothing harder than hygiene that's eating up the toilet paper. So it can easily just stick in there. Yeah. I mean, you just deal with it. It's still weird to me that guys don't have to. That you just give a little shake and that's enough stuff. Isn't that still a little. Then the rest of it. Then the rest of it is stored in your. In the groin of your jeans and your underwear. But it's all good. What's the old joke? I need some. A stool. Blood and urine. And he just. Here's my underwear, you know, Right? It's funny stuff. When you fill up your car with gas, do you just pull the nozzle out and hang it up or do you give it a couple shakes first? I give it shakes. Yeah. Of course you do. That's what we have to do. Yeah. And Josh has got the high test. Oh, baby. But when you put it back, it's still dripping a little bit. Always. Every time. No, I always. Exactly. That's because you guys don't know. We don't know how to do it. Is this toilet paper thing. Is this a Common issue. We've had these questions before. To me, that's. I'm going to guess she's shaven because toilet paper will tend to stick more to that five o' clock show. I don't know what he's complaining about. The bristly terrain. Don't you just pick it off and get back to what you're doing? It's biodegradable. It's fine in your mind. Mouth. Chill out. No, don't dissolve. What kind of a guy during that. In that. Right there. In it. Right in it. What? Go. Oh, there's toilet. But nobody, not one guy would do that. Yeah. Is he wearing a miner's helmet? How can he see it? Some people do it in the daylight. That is immoral. What? The sun shining is you even, you beast. You probably. You make. Look, each of you wear sleep masks, don't you? Oh, yeah. And it's like. It's like my lover cat burglar. I have a question. Josh, you have a bidet? I do now. Would that have taken care of this? Yeah. Afterwards. Sure. And. And my bidet does move. The. The nozzle moves so that women can use it up front. It's meant for that. Do you press a button and. Yeah, yeah. You hit a button on the remote and it'll angle it differently. This is very. There you go. You can get her one of those. Yeah. Yeah. Another win. We've answered the question. That's a great idea, Tom. We have time for one more letter. What have you got? Dear Allie, I went on a couple's vacation with three other couples. And one couple took the big room with the Jacuzzi and basically acted like they were the leaders of the vacation. I complained about it and kept kind of getting in fights the whole time. And now my wife is mad at me and says that I put a strain on all of our friends. I said, we find new friends. What do you think? Should I cave in and apologize? Yeah, get rid of them. New friends. I am the leader of this vacation. I want you to know that. See, I thought this. I. I thought this letter was going to be. They had the hot tub in their room. So one night I went in there and Mrs. Johnson was flopping around. And the next thing you know, first of all, who goes on too many of those Penthouse letters? Who was on vacation with other people? I mean, vacation can be bad. We've done that. And there's like, there is an alpha couple or an alpha person. It just dominates it. Is it usually the person that. Like the couple that does the most planning. It usually is more? I think so. I mean, that's kind of fair. If they pay more, what would you. But what would you do? Would you flip? You don't want to switch rooms every night, right? Yeah. That he could have relaxed. There was no reason to get upset. Yeah. Call somebody. I mean, the first year of the vacation, the first thing you do is ditch the other couples. For God's sake, have some fun. Okay, honey. You've really put a strain on all our friendships. We have a lot more Bob and Tom show on the way. On this New Year's Eve morning, the gang tries a chunky and stripper names are on the way. But next, a segment from 2018 with the late Gilbert Godfrey. Coming up next, Bob and Tom. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. Here on a Wednesday morning, the best of the Bob and Tom show. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios. Here's a segment from 2018 with the late Gilbert Godfrey. The room has just gotten a lot better looking because of the entrance of comedian Gilbert Gottfried. The voice you will recognize immediately. Hey, Gilbert, how are you? So you were. You were talking about. About mummies, right? Yes, yes, that's right. I always thought mummies were all girls when I was a kid. Oh, wait, you thought they were girls? They thought they were girls. Oh, see, I got scared. See, I thought you said they were old girls. Oh, okay. Yeah. And I thought, I don't want mummies to be old girls. I grew up with the old Universal monster movies. Sure. Yeah. You know, and I don't want a girl mummy. Well, I mean, a guy mummy might be happy with it, but the girl mummy. Yeah. They stick to their own kind. Yeah. Because I grew up with like, you know, Boris Karloff, Lon Chaney Jr. Christopher Lee. What was the first movie that genuinely scared you? Do you remember? Oh, that genuinely scared me. Because I could. Well, you think I can answer very clearly. For me, it was the creature from the Black Lagoon. In fact, the only really totem I have in the studio. Totem is my creature from the Black lagoon model that a friend. Wow. That movie scared me because it was so real. Because here's something you do. You go swimming in a lake, and then there's this thing that comes up. Well, at that time, the special effects of the. The suit, the guy was creepy. Really impressive. Pretty impressive. But whereas Frankenstein was not. I didn't. Couldn't really relate to it as much. But do you remember something that actually genuinely frightened you as a little kid? You know, something I Remember being scared by a movie that wasn't necessarily a horror movie, but it, you know, was disturbing. There was a scene now you'd laugh at was called Cage. And it was one of these really early films of some woman going to jail. And there's one part where they hold her down and shave her head. Wow. And I. I don't know. I remember that scared me. Wow, that's unsettling. Yeah, yeah. The monsters, I like. I'm scared hearing about it. Yeah. I was also frightened by movies where one of the parents would get killed off and stuff like that. Then you feel you're gonna be all alone. So every Disney movie. Oh, yes, yes. Yeah. I mean, I. Genuinely frightened. Yeah. And then now, Christy, when you saw the Exorcist, you being of a Catholic heritage, did that scare the. Yeah, yeah. And I didn't. I saw it late. I mean, I took me a long time to even work my way up to going to see that movie. Okay. Because there is stuff that really is gonna. Josh, you're the horror movie buff. Yes. Anything that scared you recently, other than that, kind of scared where you just jump. Oh, recently, like, really made you scared. You deep into your soul, changed your behavior. Like, for example, after seeing Creatures from the Black Lagoon, I would always wear socks when I would water ski. This is a fascinating story. Yeah. There's nothing that's changed, Gilbert. You understand why? Because if the creature comes up from the bottom, grabs your foot, it pulls away a sock instead of taking you down. Oh, I see. I could call my brothers or sister right now. So basically, if you're in shark infested water, you should swim in socks. Yes. Or in monster infested water. Yes. Now, did any of these movies change your behavior as a little boy? As little Gilbert Gottfried? Hmm. I don't know if they changed it. Cause, I mean, I was just in love with the old monster movies. So you like being scared. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, after a while, you see the monsters as your friends. They're kind of sort of outcasts that are misunderstood. Oh, yeah. So if you. That's an interesting point. In other words, as a kid, these become your friends instead of the people that maybe you want to have friends that don't even like you. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. Cause Frankenstein, it's basically like a little kid. He's alone, he wants to make friends. I always liked Frankenstein because Don Johnson would later emulate this in Miami Vice. Frankenstein always wore a nice sport coat, no tie. He had kind of a T shirt on. Today's monsters, they have no class. They wear flip flops, wife beaters. You know, they don't. Wasn't there. Don't dress up. Wasn't there a feud between Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff? Because Lugosi said that all Boris Karloff did was grunt. And he relied on the prosthetics and the. Well, they offered Frankenstein to Lugosi. Oh, okay. And he passed on it, and then Karloff did it, and it became a big hit. But if you. But Karloff gets a pass for life just for the Grinch. Oh, that's true. Oh, yeah. That voiceover. Pass for life. Everything he did, he's a genius. Certain actors, you got to give him that. On my podcast, I interviewed Sarah Karloff, Boris's daughter. Wow. And she said, you know, she herself doesn't like horror movies. And, you know, he didn't care about most of his movies. Karloff. But when he did Grinch that Stole Christmas, he was so proud of it. He said, you have to watch this. Oh, it's. It's great. He really is good. And the. And the singing. Now, that's a different guy. What's that guy's name, The Disney actor? Thurlan Ravens. Yes. I mean, she's Tony the Tiger, too. Great. That's him. Yeah. Fantastic. We have interesting things coming up in the world of news today. As I mentioned, no horror film news that I know of, but one of the most famous comedians in America made a very bizarre appearance last evening or the night before. We'll find out what that's all about. Gilbert Gottfried is our guest. Gilbert is a comedian. I saw for the first time with about four people in a tiny little nightclub in New York City in the mid to late 70s, probably 77 maybe. And it was literally. There were, like, maybe. I think there were four of us in the crowd. It was two in the morning. Two in the morning or whatever. That's a big audience for me. And it was. It was you and Jerry Seinfeld. Was there a couple of other guys very early in your career? And I still remember something that you did. You ad libbed it. You probably don't have this in your act anymore. Oh, trust me. You grab. I do stuff. I'm up there going, hey, how many of you watch Bonanza down Tom's Alley? That's amazing. You grabbed a bar stool and held it up and you did your monster called I am Quadra Dick. Yeah. Do you remember? Yeah. Yeah. It may have been a throwaway. I haven't done it in a While just. Cause I just. I like to save my energy. So lifting stuff up. But I can do it again. Here we go now. Gilbert Gottfried is our guest and I thought we would continue with our discussion of things obscure about the world that are far more important than Meet the Press. You do a couple of impressions and we were wondering if you would do. This is a pretty obscure 1. John MacGyver. Now, he's known for some work in Disney films, and I think it was in like the Doris Day show on TV or something like that. I think so. He was the guy, the reverend or preacher, whatever, that got beaten up by Joe Buck. Not the Sportsman. Midnight Cowboy in Midnight Cowboy. And maybe your vocal impression will bring back the memory to some of our listeners. Yes, they see right now everyone's going. Quick, honey, he's going to do the John MacGyver imitation. Quick. Gather around the radio, kids. Oh, yeah. Everything in this company must be done according to schedule. We will have no slackers here, sir. No slackers at all. This company is run like a tight ship. Ladies and gentlemen, once again, for the five or six of you that get that amazing. You are welcome. The minute you see him, though, you know who he is. So good. John went to Columbia. Did you know that? Did not know that. So what. What was the Disney film that he was. He was in. Oh, my gosh. He was in Bed Knobs and Broom. Was he one of those, like the Apple Dumpling Gang? He's one of those guys, you see him and you just go, oh, that guy. Yes, I remember from Breakfast at Tiffany's. He's been a lot of. He's in the main. You remember him from Breakfast at Tiffany's? It's my favorite movie. He plays the father of the woman that Lawrence Harvey falls in love with and Breakfast. Tom, would you like me to do my impression of Mickey Rooney from Breakfast at Tiffany? Oh, is that. No. No good anymore. Okay, once again, the. Don't you have to go get your. Gilbert. Unfortunately, that's dead on. It makes the. It makes the Asian character and Mr. Magoo look not quite so racist. Oh, yes, that's how. Oh, that no good. M. You have to hand it to Hollywood, but to this day, they still do that. They will never cast a gay actor as a gay actor in a major motion picture. Sean Penn, very not gay. Is Harvey Milk. That takes courage. Oh, yes. We're hanging out with Gilbert Gottfried and Gilbert. Let's. Can we do one more obscure impression? Yes. This is a guy, Kevin McCarthy, one of my favorite actors, who is. What Is he most famous for the dad? And I think Josh has it. The body statues. Yeah, yeah. The original. Okay. The original Invasion and the Twilight Zone movie. He played an uncle of a. Yeah, he's sort of a very generic. Yes. Plain spoken midwestern white guy. Now, I remember when the Aristocrats came out. Oh, yeah. I. In one part, one version of the Aristocrats, I did, you know, I go into full detail. Father's doing this to the daughter, daughter's doing this to the dog. And it gets more and more and more disgusting and perverted. And I threw in a line. I said, this is like a typical evening for character actor Kevin McCarthy. So at the time, a guy who worked on the Aristocrats was a friend of Kevin McCarthy who was still alive at the time. And he was like a hundred. And the guy told him, I said, you know, he says, this guy does this to the wife, the wife does, blah, blah, blah. And it's a typical evening at home of character act Kevin McCarthy. To which Kevin McCarthy goes, wow, that's offensive. And he goes, yeah, well, you know, Gilbert Gottfried gets a little over the edge. And he goes, I'm not a character actor, I'm a star. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Kevin McCarthy. We're coming right back in just a few minutes. You don't want to miss this next segment about stripper names and Pat's dad here on the Bob and Tom show. Bob and Tom. Gotta freshen up my coffee Gotta read my email from 9 to 10 it's all penciled in. I'm cutting my fingernails, eatin a jelly donut that's just one of my perks Everybody's doing it Screwing around at work. Oh, when I'm not on the phone wheeling and dealing I see how many pencils I can stick into the ceiling. Gotta check out that new chick. I heard she's a flirt Maybe she'd be up for screwin around at work. Carry around some folders, shuffle around some papers. I just spent two hours adjusting my screensaver. Gotta put you on hold, sir. Your call's important to me. It will be ignored in the order it was received. Oh, I'm a model employee. I always clean the glass. When I finish making photocopies of my ass I brownhole the bosses. Yes, sir, yes, ma'. Am. I'm not I apathetic. I just don't give a damn. Cause I'm screwing around at work. All right, they're going to hill those ending cord. More of the Bob and Tom show now here from the Bob and Tom studios. This is Christopher speaking. We have a lot more coming up. The gang, by the way, is back in here live next Monday morning, so don't miss that. That here's a segment about some stripper names and Pat's dad at the news desk, it's Jess Hooker. Hello. There's Pat Godwin. Hi. There's Josh Arnold. Jake, how are you, man? I am well. Good. There's Ace Cosby. I am Chick McGee. And here's. Here's our friend. It's Tom Griswold. Hello, Tom. Hey. Hi. How you doing? Good seeing you. All right, we have a lot to get to today, so let's not dilly or dally. What have you got over there? Dear Bob and Tom, Chick, you said yesterday you wished Bend, Oregon would just stop messing around and change their name to Ben Dover. Yes, it was brilliant. This is from Brian. I did a little research, and near Richmond, Virginia, there is a historical district called Ben Dover. Unfortunately, Brian says when you Google something like that. Oh. You also learn Ben Dover is a British porn star. There you go. And by the way, going by first pet and street I grew up on, for my porn name, I would be Whiskers Brunel. Oh, that's good. That's pretty good. Very good. Thank you. Now, is that for your poor name or your stroke ripper name? That's the porn name. Okay. Your poor name is what again? The street you. What is it? The street you grew. My first pet. That's the first name. Okay. And the street you grew up on. So I'd be Duffy Duffield. Duffy. Duffy. Okay. What would you be? Josh Spats. Trails. That's all right. It seems like a specific genre there. Yeah, yeah. Outdoor. Worst outdoor foot fetishist. All right. What would you be? Jess Hooker. Mine would be the worst one. It does not work at all. It would be Doji Southway. We had a dog named Doji when we were kids. Doji Dog. D O G. God, it's cute. Yeah, it's really cute. It's cute as the day as, well. A Chinese Shar Pei. Yeah. Oh, One of those things. And you thought it was a vaguely Asian dog? Sure. Yeah. Well, that's. I see. Oh, I don't think my mother was that clever. I just think she liked the name Doji. Sounds kind of Japanese, actually. Yeah, that's. Yeah. Yeah, that's. Or. Or something scientific or. Or computer wise. That's possible. I got. I got the Doji 6000 on my iPhone 15. Sure. Are you kidding me? I'm still dealing with a 4000 Ace is a pet name first or street? Pet name. Pet name. Missy. 62nd. Missy. 62nd. 60. So was it a street? Yeah, the one right. The one right here. There you go, missy. There's another 60 second. No, in California. What do you mean, lots of six seconds? They number the streets everywhere. What are you talking about, you lunatic? So if somebody says, yeah, I live off 42nd Broadway. You live in New York. 5th and 42nd. Oh, that's a hell of a. I was gonna say if it was. If it's the 60 seconds of street right over here. You can't get there. They've had it blocked for a year. Close every business. You know what you just proven? You are living right here in your head here and now. That's the way to go. You don't have anything else? I'm in the moment. In California. It all relates to you. You were born in California. Yeah. I didn't know that. Remember the hospital? What? The hospital. Cedar. Cedar. Made out of cedar. Huh. That's weird. Smells good. Abe Lincoln was born in California in a cedar. Cedar. Cyanide. Cyanide. I've been there. Poisonous. Yeah. Okay, I'm sorry. Back to sports. Boots. Thanks for asking. Oh, it wasn't. I have one, too. Thanks for. Was your dog or cat named Boots? That's my cat named Boost. My mother liked cats. What's the street? Oak. Boots Oak. Boots Oak. That doesn't work. That doesn't work, Pat. Puccini. Oak. My dad loved the opera Puccini. He named a pet Puccini. Puccini. Our first pet. What was it, a dog or a cat? It was a German shepherd, believe it or not. Oh, nice. A German shepherd named Puccini. That's odd. Wouldn't he go with a German opera? Wouldn't you think? A lot of great German operas out there. That's my dad. He's a wacko. My dog, Cosey. Fan toot. I don't know, I'm just saying. A little pretentious. I almost want to get another dog to name it. What is it? Cosy? Fan toot? Yeah, it's a opera. Whatever. Hey, what was I going to ask you, Pat? No, I better not. You can ask me anything. No, no, never mind. Do you think there are snobs out there that do that? The. The porno. The adult film name. Is your the name of your first horse and the opera your parents first took you to? No, no. Your first horse and the name of the street of the first home you owned in Florida. Go ahead, take your time. I know there have been many. It's the first half. Annabelle Salt Lick. Well, if it was Aubrey, of course it would be. Yeah. Long mane, Deflator Mouse. Name of my porno name. That's a great porno name. Yeah. Deflator Miles Amadeus. Boynton beach would be like. Oh, yes, yes. No, if Pooch is. Poochie is great name for a dog. You call it Poochie? Yeah, Poochie is short. Poochie. Yeah, my dad would do that occasionally. Was Poochie a boy dog or a girl? It was a boy dog, believe it or not. And your. Your father was in the theater? Very active in the theater. I'm surprised he liked Poochie. Oh, that sweet, sweet Poochie's not like that. You know my favorite story about your dad, though. He was never suspected. Never mind. Go ahead, Tom. I mean, your. Your dad was a very fine theatrical director. Talk like Richard Burton all the time. Where have you been, boy? How many scarves did he own? At least one. I know, like a purple one. He wore it to weddings. Do you have that? He wore it to wedding. Did he wear, like, an ascot? Yeah. And he wore, like, purple bell bottoms to one wedding. I have arrived. I'm here. Was your dad a hippie? I don't know what he was. He was flamboyant. Was he one of those, like, Hugh Hefner? Very much like a portly Hugh. After. I sure would have loved very flamboyant, purple scarves. Active in the theater. Absolutely. Well, lucky you're here. Six kids wonder who's. I'm the oldest of six. We all look like him. Tell where we came from. Tied a toothbrush to it one night and got it to work for a lady. Okay. Yeah. I didn't know they used it. No one talked about that back then. In utero. That far back. Wow. No, I love your story about your dad and the. And the Shakespeare. You know what I'm talking. Yeah. I would take. He would take me to the Stratford Festival up in Canada, and I guess I was precocious at 11. And we were driving. I hate this joke. I was driving up, I said, dad, did Romeo and Juliet. Juliet sleep together? He says, well, in the Chicago company, they did. Oh, that's so great, Chick. You at least like. Pat's dad would say, I like the way your dad talked, that's for sure. When he was directing a group of men, and he wanted them. I need you to be more masculine. The chorus. More masculine. Men. Balls, props, balls with. Do it with balls. And then he Would yell, props. You have got to start writing this thing down. That is so great. Did you have in holidays and things, did your father bring home, like, Uncle Steve or. We had various theater people around all the time. We had these two women that would come by, Sylvia and Tony. And I never knew what was up with Sylvia and Tony until I got older. Oh, it was all kinds of people. It was fantastic. Well, what was up with them? Oh, they were together partners. Those were different times. I. We had a couple down the road that were quote, unquote, sisters. So they weren't no kid. But you guys, did you think they were sisters? Yeah, they're great people. In those days, you just assumed. Yeah, it was just one of those things. And didn't your mother teach phys Ed? I mean, come on. Yes, my mother taught. And an amazing athlete, right? My mother was a very good athlete. Yeah. My mom's the one who played catch with me, not my dad. Huh? Your dad was playing catch with somebody? I don't know about that. I'm a bottom. He was qu. In Shakespeare. Dad's first name, Joseph Gerald. He went by Jerry. Jerry. Jerry. Pat will do all of this, but he won't go to that last step. Oh, no, no. That never happened. There's no way. Well, I always got the impression your dad was more of a. He was like the straight guy in the theater. And so he was like the ladies man in a way. Yeah, He. He got all the side. He dilly died with the people he should, probably shouldn't have the whole time. Okay. Had he been gay? I think it made him even cooler. He was pretty cool. Yeah, I'm him. And your dad went to the opera every week, right? Every Monday by himself. One ticket to the Metropolitan Opera. Did he ever take you? He did. To one. Which one? La Bom. Ah. Yeah. I go by myself because I'm orally pleased in the balcony. That cowboy. You understand, Boy, you can't be there. It'll throw me off. Steve will get mad. Did you enjoy the opera? I couldn't believe how good it was. Yeah, it was amazing. The production. Production was. I mean, they had animals on stage and it was incredible. You know how they made those animals do whatever they wanted? They. When the animals misbehave, they beat them. And then when they did what they wanted, they stopped the beatings. So you see? Really? Yeah. At the opera house, huh? Oh, boy, they were savages. That had to be really rough backstage. No, that's where my dad's ashes are at the Met. Elephant crap everywhere. Yeah. 160 of them. I have one. Who measured them? My. My stepmother. Did you? With a cup or did you? I have mine in a cup. Did you think she was making biscuits? Did you just distribute them on the floor there? My brother did. My brother James did. Yeah. Wow. On the stage. He got in trouble too. They caused. In the middle of a performance. You can't. You can't just go willy nilly. Spreading ashes. They do it at a lot of stadiums, Games all the time. Why are the Three Tenors coughing so much? How did he get up to the stage? I don't know. I mean, he's all over New York, so maybe he tore it. You can tour it. Did they? Oh, okay. Well, I'm sorry. We need to move back to the sports. Your brother's very active in theater as well. Yes, he is. He's in the arts. There's some painting. Oh. He knows dancing, choreography. Ballet. Ballet, mostly. I'm sorry. So we've established everyone's porn name. Is that correct? Yeah. Stupid world record. Man from my vacation spot, Cyprus has broken the Guinness World record for the most wine glances. The most wine glasses balanced on his head yet. Professional bus boy. Are you finished with that, ma'? Am? Stacking it on top of his head. No, no. Professional glass dancer. Glass dancer? Is that a major at any school? Aristotelis. Vala oriditis is. Shattered the previous record, by the way. You have that, Josh. I didn't know how to tell you. Okay? That's what that is. Aristotle is the other lesions. And this is eczema. A previous record of 270 wine glasses balanced on his. That's the old record. The new record is 319 wine glasses balanced on his head. Well, I've got to see this here. It looks like. Imagine it looks like a wedding cake. It's trays, okay? It's trays of glasses. They have trays in between the glasses. Yeah, but it's. It's stacked up. It's got to be 3 or 4ft high. And he's got it on his head and he's walking around counterfeit. It's. And there's no, by the way, there's no wine in the glasses. So he's busing the table after the drunks. It's amazing. Fun, pointless, everything. We love you. To break the record, nine trays of glasses were stacked on top of one another that the 62 year old Aristotle then placed on top of his head. Not only did he balance them for over double the minimum time required, 10 seconds. But he also moved around and gently. Damned before the glasses eventually came toppling down. The total weight of the glasses was 66 pounds. And of course, several of the onlookers were cut by some of them. Many, many lacerations. Gerald Godwin, your thoughts on glass dancing. I like it. I like the choreography. I can't pronounce it today. Working next. It's worth seeing a picture of this glass. It's pretty amazing. What the hell's glass? Don't you remember the movie Glass Dance? She was dancing around and then she sat on a chair, pulled a rope and a bunch of shards of glass fell off. Oh, what a feeling. Yeah, Glass Dance. It was an awful film. Really was Flash dancing. That wasn't really a thing. They just invented that for the movie. Movie, right. I've honestly never seen Flashdance. I only know that scene. You don't think there were part time strippers? I think that's what she was a. Worked at a. She was a welder. It was a welder. And she worked as a stripper at night. Oh, she's not just a dancer, she's a. She's stripping. Did she. I don't think she was a stripper. Pretty sure it's a. Wow. No, she was just a dancer. No, it's like right middle dances. No, I think she like. It's Beaver time. That's real cool with the water in the bucket and everything, but Beaver time. Let's see that. Do you remember in Forrest Gump Tom, the Jenny is up there, she's like trying to. You know, she's playing the guitar naked and there are these rowdy men in the front row. Yeah, that's right. And one of them yells out, get her a harmonica. I was the. And it's sad in the scene, but I was the only person in the crowded theater that laughed out loud. You ever hear our Sherry Lewis tribute? You mean Chop thing, the puppeteer? Yeah, clam chop. Remember that? It's a very. A very unusual ventriloquist. Oh, no. That's a heck of a scale. Yeah, remember that. We move forward and return to the sports page with Chick McGee. Stupid world record. Britain's. Britain's 12th oldest man. Oh yeah. What is this now? Britain's 12th oldest man just turned 107. That's amazing. Now you're probably wondering, why did I choose this story? You're going to find out. He recently revealed the secret to his long life. Eating the cereal known as Shredded Water. Wheat. Shredded Wheat. My favorite cereal. How about that Mr. Leonard Howes of the United Kingdom. Born in 1916. Congratulations, Tom. You have something in common with one of the oldest people on the planet. That's right. Once again, the benefits of a classical education. Oh, is that right? We learned each. Leonard served in World War II and he was old then and has seen five different monarchs on the throne. About that. Oh, well, they're using the bathroom. That's weird. That is weird. Ms. Carol House, his daughter in a daughter in law. How old's this guy again? 107. Because of what? Oh, shredded. Shredded weight. That's what he says. I guess in the abstract that might be the interpretation. I don't think it is. That's why he lives. That and the fact that During World War II he was in the mail room. That probably helped. He put his long life down to eating shredded Wheat with full fat milk and plenty of sugar for as long as he could remember. There you go. Okay. Oh, boy. That's delicious. Doesn't say anything about equal there, Tom. Well, I ate my shredded Wheat with skim milk. I eat mine with mustard. I like to just dip it. I know. Just dip one in mustard and eat it that way. That is fascinating. Fascinating. Wait. Them. Do you know it's making me sick? Just buy Triscuits. They're the same thing almost. They are, but when you're out of Triscuits and you have. That's. That's how it happened. I didn't know you smoked pot. They have a lot more on the way. The gang is going to try a Chunky coming up in just a minute. So stand by for that. This is the Bob and Tom Show. This is the best of the Bob and Tom show on a New Year's Eve morning. This is Christopher speaking. Here is a segment with the gang as they try a Chunky. That is good. Isn't that a good Frankenstein? Tom, be honest. You mean the Frankenstein monster? Of course. Frankenstein is the. And license. Away goes the fun. I just want. I'm gonna get the letter now. Dear Douchebags. Yeah, but Frankenstein is not the monster. He's the doctor. If you still care about getting letters. What's wrong with you? You know where Dr. Frankenstein went to medical school? Harvard. I don't know. Transylvania. U. Of course. Tu Tu. Oh. What would their team be? Lexington Transylvania. What would they're fighting and if something about a Dracula. Something about it have to be vampires. Yeah, yeah. Fighting vampires or the fighting bats or something. The fighting silver crosses. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee. Hi. She's at the Silac Insurance news desk. There's Pat Godwin. Hello, my friend who ruined a Billy Joel song for me. There's Josh Arnold. I want to find out after these intros who everybody's favorite vampire is, whether it be Bela Lugosi or Christopher Lee. I. I'll. I'll have an answer. Okay. There's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick mcgee. Hello, Tom. George Hamilton. Your favorite. Your favorite. Vampires don't have tans. Come on. Sure did. I know. Love at first bite. It would have to be. Oh, I've just lost his name. He wrote the. Wrote that great book called dropping names. Frank Langella. You liked his Dracula? Yeah. And I. Franklin Jell. I just love Frank Langell. Okay. Terrific book. I don't know. This isn't. You know. What tenuous connection can you make? No, I can make more. I can make a more connection. We could have a contest. Jonathan Frid. Barnabas. That's your favorite vampire. Barnabas? Yeah. Oh, that a big cult following. Love Dark Shadows. Yeah, that was a big show right after school. Oh, yeah. Dracula begins and ends for me with Clay. Bang. That's right. Guys, who did Sherlock did a version of Dracula and it's fantastic. Really? Oh, vampires are just Dracula. I'm sorry. Any vampire. You're fine. Oh, yes. Anything. I think I might have to go with Adam Sandler. Oh, and Hotel Transylvania. Those are cartoons. Those are funny. Those are genuinely funny. I like how annoyed he gets when he goes, I don't say Blair. I just think that's so funny. Oh, now we have a couple things we have to get. Oh, we haven't gotten any letters yet. Nope. I have a letter. Hi, Bob and Tom. My name is Riley. I'm reaching out to see if you could give my dad Jared a birthday shout out on his birthday. I'm sorry. Sorry. As Chick says, no, Riley simply. Well, is there anything special that's going on? Is he, like, turning 40 or 50? Maybe? He doesn't want us to mention. He's a big fan. Listens all the time. It would absolutely make his day to hear his name mentioned on the air. According to his daughter. And what's his. Don't we have to give a spirit some kind of context? That's all she wrote. Jesus, just make something up. He's a great guy. He's a humanitarian. He's Riley's dad. Yeah, yeah. What a cool guy. He did all the sound effects for the Towering Inferno. Oh, yeah. Isn't that something new? Steve McQueen by Towering Inferno. That's right. All that crackling. That's a lot of crackling. Yeah, he did all the sound effects. Amazing. Yeah. Steve would stay at his house when he was in town. That's right. He wrestled Paul Newman. I don't know what Queenie. He called. Okay, I've got letters. Literally, letters for you guys. Oh, my gosh. Actually, actual snail man. Are those from? They're from the tags. Ambassadors Program. The what? Tags. The Andy Griffith Show. Remember how I, I received my copy? I can't stand. Okay, My husband is probably driving off the road right now. He's so exciting. Now, there's a. This is a publication. Are you opening our mail? Well, I want. That's a federal legal. And I, I, if you think I'm not pressing charges, you're sadly mistaken. Just open this up. Even if we got him to go to jail for three days or overnight. Yes. Oh, he would have stories, wouldn't he? So, anyway, lose your mind. Bruno and I are. We're exchanging numbers. Yes, yes, he was a filthy man. But, ladies and gentlemen, this. This is your copy of the Andy Griffith Show. Ambassadors magazine. The fifth. The fifth anniversary issue. I get this every month. I love this. Does it have a slogan on. They've now decided to send it to you guys. And it's just great background stories about the Andy Griffith show on the masthead. Any. Any, like, just one bullet on the air. I could have used it as a gift. Yeah. These. This if you're a fan of the show, which I am. And then there's a copy here for. For you, Christy. Great, thank you. I'll make sure you get that. Were these gifted from them or did you order them for us? No, they were gifted. Oh, how nice. I, I opened my copy on the air the other day. They must have heard me in. All right, we'll get everybody signed up now. I mentioned the, the chunky. I did bring one in. Did you say chunky? Chunk, Chunk, Chunk, Chunky. Big, big, big chunk. Chunky. Open wide board. Chunky. Oh, that brings back memories. Chocolate bar in the usa Milk chocolate. Guess who that is. Cashews, extra flavor. New. Just nuts and milk chocolate. Pecan. Chunky. Chunky. This one says chunky milk chocolate with peanuts and raisins. I, I, I. Everyone that they had at the cvs, I went to at the last minute to get extra candy because he thought the k. Go nuts for this. Everyone they had at CVS. All five. There are like 12. But see, it's a big, bright sort of aluminum Foilish. Yeah. That hasn't changed. It looks very appealing. No one sings aluminum foil. I don't know how well they sell these days, honestly. Did you eat a Chunky as a child? No, I was a Nestle's Crunch guy. All right. I just like the commercial and I'm not. I'm not a good judge for candy. I haven't eaten. I don't eat. Eat a lot of it, so. But we have quite a few people that really enjoyed a Chunky over the years and they sent us emails. Oh, I got a ton of them. Oh, so that's a shame. Do you guys want. Do you guys want me to cut this up so we can try it? Yes. Would you like to try? Absolutely. Okay, good. Here we go. This is Tom. I will defend you. I'm 53. I love Chunky. I'll spit the raisins out. Feel free to send me all of your extra ones. Your group doesn't know what they're missing. Missing. Derek from Burlington, the home of coats as far as the eye could see. So many coats. Bob, once again from Tabasco, Ohio. Oh, boy. The river there is. There's a hot time in the old town tonight. He says he loves the phrase open wide for chunky. I often use it during foreplay. Oh, boy. Oh, you naughty. With mixed results. It's not as good as. You want any more of this before I put it away, but it's close. Okay. Now, do you guys really want to try this? Yes. Why not? Yeah, sure. Ask me again. Okay. Well, why don't you read a letter while I get. Cut the thing off. Dear Bob and top show. Good morning. Second time cutting it open, by the way. He's not just opening with his fingers. No, he's. He's got a. He's got a scissors and he probably put rubber gloves on and his goggles and. I did sterilize my scissors this morning. Of course you did. There's no doubt. Wait a minute. Did you realize. Really? Yeah. Sterilizing rubbing alcohol or. Yeah, scissors. No, that's a good thing. Yeah. You know, I. I knew I'd be doing this. Were you. I knew I'd be doing this. Will you talk to someone, please, like once a week. Would that. Would that be too much? I've got your Chunky over here. I got your junkie. Good morning. Really? It's chunky. No. You know, like speed bumps. Yeah, that would be bad. Second time listening through today's broadcast, Tom stated it gets dark at 4:30 now due to daylight savings. Tom does that Mean, there's more pickpocketing during this time. Oh, very good point. Of course. Because you're insane. Oh, I was just saying. I was saying that there's a lot of pickpocketing during fireworks. No. And during eclipses. Because people look up and say things during. During eclipses. Yes, people. They're gonna look at that eclipse, and then some grifter comes by. Yeah, yeah. Yes. Christy, you'll notice places are crawling with grifters. The chunky is. It's like a grid. Yep. What size? You said this was about the size of wood. That looks like. Actually, now that I see it like that, it looks a little bigger than post. Its. It looks way bigger. It looks almost like two. Way bigger. Two decks of playing cards. Yeah, yeah. But then you can. You can break it up. Oh, and each quarter of this is 160 calories. Did I have an eighth? Yeah. Here. Well, whatever you eat, you can vomit. Okay, I'll help you. Here you go, Josh. Oh, here, let me put it in this thing. Hold on. Oh, look at, Look. I could look at Hoffy helping us. Okay, very good, everybody. Now give me that. Now. Once again, thank you. Hofset. This contains milk chocolate, peanuts, and raisins. Yeah. What kind of peanuts? These Spanish nuts. These. I, I. It doesn't say Redskins. What are. What are they? The red peanuts. Who's gonna go first? Those are peanuts that are given to you and then taken back. Huh? Yeah. You know, it's good. This is really good. Very. I think I'll open wine for Chunky a little bit more. Yeah. Did they change the name of Red skin peanuts? I want to know. Know. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I mean, those literally have red skin, right? They are Spanish. They're Spanish peanuts, right? Oh, we say Latina now. Peanuts. Latina peanuts. I'm racist. I just call them red skin peanuts. Pretty good chocolate. And I call chocolate covered. All right. This is delicious. This is a tasty thing. That's pretty damn good. Yeah, it's much better. Not bad at all. Thought it was when I was a kid. Oh, I can't have any? No. Oh, I treat my body like a toilet tank, Temple. Yeah, like a toilet. Yeah, I heard you the first time. Shut us up. Didn't. Yeah. Sorry for the quiet. Well, you guys are really enjoying that. Are there nuts in there and not raisins? It's almost like a peanut butter and jelly candy bar. The light bulb. Yeah. I'm sorry to stop talking. It really did shut us up. Boy, did you bring a lot more in? I got a bunch of more at home. Well, we, we apologize. You know what? Thank you for bringing them in. Yeah, I want to say hello to the chunky people. I gotta wait until the commercial to finish. This is the second best thing I've ever had in my mout. We're coming right back. Another hour of the Bob and Tom show here on a Wednesday morning. The hot dog straw is coming up. And news we failed to mention coming up next on the Bob and Tom show. We're rocking here on a Wednesday morning in the Bob and Tom studios. This is Christopher speaking. Here's a segment with one of our faves, comedian Greg Warren. With us in the studio, comedian Greg Warren, along with our engineer, the legendary Ace Cosby. Hello, gang. Don't say gang. Gang. I don't want to say hello there. Are we Ace's posse now? It's my understanding that's my understanding that posse is posse. Oh. Oh, yeah. Ace didn't say you were his posse. Just letting you know. Christy boy may have misheard that Howard tomorrow moan from Fast Time say that. I mean, that's his posse. Does he have a posse? It's like, it's like last year when you fell in love with the girl at the photo mat. You bought $40 worth of film. You didn't even get her number. Greg Warren, ladies and gentlemen, is Damone from Fast Times. Oh, my God, that makes me feel so good. We also have a couple of things in the world of news up with. I love to say this, Chick, you are right. I'm right. Never hear this very often in this room and I want you to get the accolades you deserve. Well, I appreciate that left handed comment. Go ahead. Well, if you've ever suspected your cat might be plotting to kill you, you might be onto something. Yep. A new study from researchers at the University of Edinburgh shows many parallels between domestic cats and their larger feline brethren. The study rated domestic cats as expressing high levels of dominance, impulsiveness and neuroticism, characteristics they share with larger felines. Like the African lion. House cats also have high levels of anxiety, insecurity, tension, suspicion and fear of people. And now we cut to a live view of the laboratories where this study was done. And it's just dogs in lab coats. Remove from the face walking around. According to the Orlando Sentinel where the study was published, it concluded domestic cats have a desire to kill humans and would likely do so if they were bigger and stronger. Wow. There you go, chick. I knew it. They don't care wow. They're. No, it's not even that. They don't care. They want. They want to kill you. As soon as they get big, they're gonna do it. And that one creepy cat, Mary Lynn Rice cup, has a stand up comedian, actress. She's a Savannah cat. She has. It's the creepiest thing you've ever seen in your life. Awesome. And they're like, have like an ocelot coloring size of a giant dog. They look like, they look like wild animals. And if you get them the correct breed down, they will follow your. They're like a dog. They are amazing, amazing animals. But there's your. This article is saying your cat wants to kill you. That's what the article saying. I'm talking about Marilyn. So they've got the feet, they got the big cat instincts in them. If there's a cat that's like a dog, then get the dog. Okay, I'm. I can't believe I'm agreeing with Chick again. Thank you. But you can't leave a dog for a weekend. You can leave a cat for a weekend. They're fine. Because they're sitting there plotting your death when you get back. That's right. As soon as that door opens. Ace, you have a cat. I was telling Christy this morning, I have to watch my step when I come downstairs because she comes racing down in between my legs. Huh? Trying to kill you. He's trying to trip you. I'm allergic to cats. Really? Yeah. Sort of brought the show to a halt. That's sort of my specialty. There was sort of some rumbling laughter. I was just about to say something like, hey, hey, you know, the cat looks to the cat, looks at the owner and goes, you call me Mr. Grumpy again, you a hole. I'm gonna kill you. I'm not Mr. Grumpy. See? You're allergic to cats. Huh? Then what, what happened? Wow. Well, I didn't want to get away in the way of that Mr. Grumpy bit right back at him. How many years is this taken? Give it back to him. You going to take that, Spider? Huh? Attaboy, Spider. Try saying, hey. Hey, Tom, why don't you. Attaboy, Spider. I was. I, I am. Are you. Are you allergic to crickets? Come on, don't be hard on yourself. The grumpy thing wasn't that bad. But I know, I. When you're allergic to cats. Like, here's the thing, I'm not staying at your house if you got a cat. Right? It's, hey, come stay with us. Nah. You guys got a cat? No, no, no, no. We got a room, and the cat doesn't go in the room. All right, first of all, he does. All right. Like, you guys, you're not that vigilant about those rooms just because every now and then, you're like, hey, get out of there. That's not how allergies work. And even if you do have a room, that doesn't sound like fun, right? I'm gonna go to your house, Just sit in a room. Hey, what's going on out there? It sounds like you guys are having fun outside the room. Every time you slide the Monopoly board under the door, the pieces fall off. Yep. You're allergic to cats. All right. Comedian Greg Warren, a man who is a fine wrestler and has an allergy to little kitty cats. Well, what happens if you meet a girl that has. I mean, does that ever happen? Yes, it has and no. And it happened a while ago, and it had been a while, and I was like. I was like, I'm gonna suck it up. I'm just gonna suck it up. And the. The main symptom for my allergies is, like, my eyes drop. Just water like crazy. And I think. I think she thought that I was getting way more emotional about sex, you know? I'm like, yeah. She's like, ah. I'm like, it's only $50. Yeah, give it back to him 75 times. No, like, yeah. I mean. I mean, she's like. I'm like, no, no, it's my allergies. That's why. She's like, I didn't know that cats made you break out in hives, too. I'm like, no, that's the sex. You're not gonna like this story. Greg Ward is our guest. Earlier this year, we had a report from an animal shelter noting that adopting black cats was becoming unpopular. In fact, I tried to talk Ace into getting a black cat because there were a couple of. This was the selfie thing. Yeah, because kittens don't show up. No. Wow. Black cat at the show. Never mind. They don't show up in selfies, so people stick with your kind. Some people also view that why they made blonde cats, black cats, a white cat, and a black owner. Don't that beat all? I'm sorry. Maybe we should come back to yes. Or maybe we shouldn't. Yeah, we probably shouldn't. Maybe some of us. Here it is. Mainly the good news is more black cats are being adopted thanks to the movie Black Panther. There you go. Oh, well, I hope these People keep their kitties. Yeah, of course. Well, yeah, I would hope. And good for the black cats. Congratulations, ace. You had a story coming up about Star Wars. I have one as well. This is actually. I'm lied. It's Star Trek, not Star Wars. There is a very big. I know, I know. I apologize. As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I went, oops, I screwed up. Star Trek fans in England are being offered unreceptible tickets to some upcoming concert events based on films. The only thing they have to order the tickets in Klingon. The Royal Albert hall is presenting Star Trek in concert, Star Trek beyond in concert in June. But to celebrate, they're giving away 10 tickets to the filming concert screenings to people who place their order using the Star Trek franchise language of Klingo. I'm sorry, sir, did you use. Was that two or three? Oh, okay, I got you down. Yeah, they're only giving away 10. 10. 10. Okay, Tom, I know you don't appreciate it. What I'm doing is hilarious. Okay, sir, we got you on the lower mezz. All right, all right, all right. Get you a little closer to this day. I didn't know. I didn't know you knew that. I've been to the Royal Albert Hall. It's quite large. Generously giving away 10 tickets. Well, again, as Christy says. Yeah. I mean, where's the Royal Albert Hall? London. How do you get there? Of course. Practice, Practice. Practice acting. I've been to the Royal Albert. Denomination. Attaboy. Gr. Give it to him. I know Royal Albert. Well. Albert was a great man. My parents took me there for my seventh birthday. I had my portrait done on stage. We saw Istock Stern. Hardly. I went to see. I went to see Eric Clapton and Cream there. Oh. Oh, yes. It was a very memorable event. You should have been there with Pat Godwin. Right, boy had everybody to choose from. You pick Pat Godwin. There were others in our little troop. Or as you would say, you're posse. No, I was culturally squad. Culturally appropriate. Easy, Tom. He does run this show. Show some respect. Yes, Josh, if one of your children had come to you and said, dad, I want you to know I now speak fluent Klingon. I mean, as a dad, how do you. Do you go, ah, man. Or do you go, oh, that's great. I'm glad that he found something he can embrace. Okay, so you do. Yeah. Encourage. Be fine with me. You can't say that on the radio. Are you insane? This is terrestrial radio. It sounds like you're the. That guy Eating up. Who's the Tasmanian Devil? No, no, that's very different. That's this. That's Josh with the Golden Corral. Here's one of the fattest things I've ever done. I'm often compared to the Tasmanian Devil when I'm in a buffet type scenario. Josh has a new T shirt on the front. On the front. On the front it says more chalk. On the back it says more tongue. That's the perfect test. That's really good. He doesn't care. Let me hear it. That's amazing. Undisinterested. He is the best. Okay. That is a very good. That is really good. I know it's a good test. And I, I, I, I don't know. I'm not familiar enough with Klingon to know how accurate his gene. Do we have anybody speaking Klingon we could go to? I'm assuming we'll get a letter from someone that's totally unlike Clayman. You're speaking Romulan, if you must know. We will return here on a Wednesday morning with failed to mention news with Jeff O in studio. It's coming up next on the Bob and Tom Show. You've heard of Slim Fast, the nutritional diet drink? Well, that's fine for housewives wanting to take a notch or two off the waistline, but what about serious weight loss? I can lose a few pounds. How about a few hundred pounds? That's me, partner. And we're looking for a guy who would rather do all of his food shopping in a convenience store. You're preaching to the choir there, Reverend. What? Well, do we have a new diet product for you. Dig down deep in that jar on the counter in the gas station and wrap your fist around the newest convenient diet food supplement on the market today. It's Slim Jim Fast Jim Hell, that's my name. Have a Slim Jim Fast for breakfast, another Slim Jim Fast for lunch, and top off your day with a sensible convenience store dinner. Say a hot dog, burritos and donuts and hell, have another Slim Jim Fast for a bedtime snack. I'll get that balloon dart game job on the midway for sure. Now, looking all drifter like Slim Jim. Pass. All right, step right up. Hey, how about you, sport? Break three balloons and win a dick trickle mirror and a pack of smokes for the little lady? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Welcome back. This is the best of the Bob and Tom show in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need. Fast. From the professional parts People at O'Reilly Auto Parts, a segment here with Jeff Osk and news we failed to mention. It's our annual Thanksgiving Eve show. We're gonna. Are we having a dinner? Thanks. We're gonna hunt and kill a turkey coming up here very, very soon. I think next hour it's going to go out in the side yard here and got a letter here from Aaron, put an arrow right through its head in Shelby, Ohio. Hi, Aaron. He experienced what I did. He. Yes, yes. We go pheasant hunting the week of Thanksgiving. You normally have a pile of buckshot beside your plate when you're done eating. Sorry to ruin your day, Chick. Tom is right. I'm telling you, I almost broke a tooth biting down on a piece of buckshot. Why don't you use a bullet that's, you know, not more extreme. Efficient? Yes. Yeah. How about a single bullet? Really? How about a high powered rifle from up on a hill Speaking of November 22nd. About 150 yards. Wait a second. Hang on a second. November 22nd. Yeah, that's right. Oh, that's right. Today's the 60th anniversary of. You want to try that? Triangulate the fire is what you want to do, Tom. Wow. I can't think of anything more upsetting than, oh, hey, I saw a flash of light late on ours. There we go. There we go. It's my favorite tie you wear. It's the rubber duck tie. We've been joined by the formerly sick Jeff Oskay. I'm back, baby. Yeah. Yeah, he is. What do we got here, Jeff? We give you a lot of the news each week, but we don't give you all the news. So I'm here to give you the news that we failed to mention. Now here's Jeff Oscar with what you failed to mention. Nose as you we've talked about for a couple weeks now. Two female astronauts on a spacewalk lost a toolkit that is visible in the sky via binoculars. Well, you failed to mention. According to my binoculars, the two female co EDS in the condo behind my house look to have lost their tops the other night. The naked eye, you see. No, I had binoculars. A bride threw her husband a surprise wedding reception at the local Waffle House. What you failed to mention. His hash browns weren't the only thing smothered and covered that night. 17th century Italians used marijuana. We learned that. Well, you failed to mention. And that's why the 17th century is known as the stoned age. I didn't know that. Stone age. I just Made it up. Up. Facts. Some dude somewhere set a new world record for the most chopsticks in one's beard. What you failed to mention. I'm still holding down the record for the most crumbs. Yeah, you got stuff in there you're not even aware of. Oh, my gosh. Oh, there's a goldfish from two years ago. Chop suey in there. There's a new pap smear beer. Which is exactly what you think it is. What you failed to mention. And just like a real pap smear mare, no one is looking forward to it. No. Boy, you'd have to love her a lot, wouldn't you? My gosh. Man. Boy. Okay, a man brought home a snake from a hike that he thought wasn't dangerous, but it was. And now he's in the hospital. What you failed to mention. Worst thing I ever brought home from a hike was poison ivy on my groin. Oh. What were you doing right there on the. Peeing on a tree. Do his own thing in his own time. That's right. And that's why I'm no longer allowed at parks. We learn that brandy old fashioned is the official drink of Wisconsin. What you failed to mention. Which explains their three letter state abbreviation at the time was owi. Owi Operating while. Yeah, they shortened it to wi. They thought I gave him the state a bad day. Remember the good old days of three letter abbreviations? I'm sick. I've been doing sick. He's been sick. He's been off. And I want. I want to point out that Ace has yet to write him any material. So what do you expect? Still waiting for. It's a work in progress. Yeah, still waiting for your highlights magazine to show up. Scientists discovered an asteroid that has its own moon. What you failed to mention that is what's known in astrology as the dingleberry moon. Speaking of astrology, Saturn's rings are going to disappear. What you failed to mention. So will the ones around Uranus with a little soap and warm water. That's true. That's absolutely true. Oh, like we're. We're getting close to the end. And like a Chilean minor, I've never been happier. The movie change. Cinemark will now deliver concessions to your home. What you failed to mention. For an extra 20 bucks, they'll pre drill the bottom of the popcorn bucket for you. Oh, you imagine trying that trick at home? At home? Yeah, I tried it with a bag of microwave popcorn. You want to wait for that stuff to cool. Yeah. You think the poison ivy was bad? Really? When you get hot butter dick. That is. That is rough. Yeah, especially when you add salt to it. Yikes. Yeah, watch the salt. And finally, people. We learned people are dropping deuces while waiting in line at Disney. What? You failed to mention. Worst part, they can't keep Pluto from rolling in. It failed to mention. Jeff. Pluto's a dog, Tom. You see? Okay, Very good. Thank you, Pluto. Another way sexy time works is you write those love letters and. About things. Hello, Ally. Are you there to get him to stop talking? Is that a problem? Things that may be going wrong in your love life. We're here to help. We. This day's going great. We're. We're gonna. We're gonna hook up with Alec, by the way. Yeah, we did have an issue with. Hello? The. The room. Getting the door locked. There she is. There's Ali. Breeding kidnapped. What's going on? I'm in a hotel and I'm having tech problems. My mic wouldn't work, so I'm just leaning into my speakerphone and seeing if this works. Okay. Where are you? In a hotel room in Atlanta. I'm visiting the family, but I'm. I'm not staying with them until Thanksgiving night. Ah, I don't blame him. That's a good idea. Anyway, now, Ally, we can hear you. Okay. We can see you. You look great. Of course. And it's time now for sexy time. What have you got for us? Dear Ally, my girlfriend brought her friend home for a threesome. She has hooked up with her on her own before. We talked about it, and then we finally did it. And then I saw the girl again without. Without her. She's coming unglued and I. She initiated us getting together and now wants to up and says I cheated on her. But she meets her alone herself. So how is this different? That's a good question. That's a very good question. Just go ahead and break up with it. She and her girlfriend have a thing, right? And then they brought him in, and now he's seeing the girlfriend with a thing too. Okay. But she's upset about it and she's already seeing him on her. She seeing her on her own. Right? So it's. It's like. Yeah, so it's like you just keep hooking up with the other girl and then break up with your current girl friends and then make them. Then make them break up. And then you made the switch. Oh, there it is. Too many Christmas presents to buy. Pick one and get out. No kidding. Is that how you look at it? I don't know. It sounds like he was the third as opposed to being in the relationship. Does that sound right? Oh, like she was hooking up with the girl first. Kind of. But it sounds like that wasn't a relationship. Like that was like a college. Like we did this for fun a couple times. Now let's bring you in to my relationship is what I think. But you can make the argument. Yeah. That they were first and he's the threesome guy. I don't think there are any hard and fast rules here. I don't either, but I beg your pardon. Established. You've got to to have rules. Or what do you have? Chaos. That's right. And that's what we have. What would your three way rules be? Well, no kissing. Okay. Fully clothed. Always fully clothed. Except the bottoms. Uhhuh. Bert Campford must be played okay. On the stereo. And I think you have some. That's a tall order. What's the next letter? Ally. Yeah. Okay. Took care of that. Okay, next. Dear Ally, I am married 10 years with two kids. My wife has gained at least 50 pounds since we got. What a hog. Good God. Oh my God. I haven't had much sex with her since you. Since she put on these pounds. She caught me, pleasured myself to porn and said that she considers that cheating. I Great. Naomi Campbell. And now she looks more like Earl Campbell. Is this really doing jokes? If nothing else, I admire the. I admire the jokes. But Earl Campbell, one of the top five running backs, and Naomi Campbell, very pretty lady. Yes. So I'm sorry, there's two, there's two issues here that it would seem to me. I can't think of any other better day than on Thanksgiving day to cut that string and let that balloon, that fat, fat balloon sailing away. They have two children. Check. Getting big Wednesdays and every other weekend. So there's two, there's two issues here. Am I correct if I heard this? She's upset that he's viewing erotic cinema. Is that correct? Exactly. Yeah. And then he's upset that she doesn't want to have relations with him. Is that correct? Or is he might not want to have relations with her? Which maybe, maybe she's saying, why don't we just have sex and you don't have to watch porn? And he's like, she got two. Yeah. Yeah. Well, this is kind of a black and white problem. It's pretty simple. What would you do if somebody got too fat for you? Bring salad home. Good God. Oh, Pat's got it all solved. Hey, baby, I'm Gonna have some pizza. Your salads. Your salads in the fridge. Take off your pants. I tell you what, chunkles, here's what we're gonna do. Yeah, have a salad. Now this is a rough thing. There's some fine new weight loss pharmaceuticals going on the market. You may. May want to tantalize her with one of those. Why don't you have sex with her so she can burn some calories? I don't know why you're not like, trying to do things together, watch the porn together. It's not cheating if you watch porn. Well, they masturbate though. It sounds like the only thing they can do is watch tv. Yeah, you can't get close enough to her to do anything else. Maybe get some. Get some donuts and porn and. Yeah, sit around down. That's right. We are horrible. Tom. You, I think, put some donuts around your shaft, See what happens. Okay. Gobble that right up, there's a contest. Gobble that right up, there's a contest. How many standard sized donuts can you get around the thing? There it is. And then how many can she eat off it? Sadly, she can eat six, but he can only get two around these donuts need some icing. Okay, I think we've. I think we've once again done. No. Been. No. No. Help. Ali Breen is our guest. You can reach her. A L L I B R E E N. Allie is a stand up comedian and any social media platform should link you to Ally. Do we have a letter? Do we have another letter? I hope to God I have been dating a guy for the last two years. It hasn't been exclusive, but we do see each other regularly and we have great times. I just found out, however, that he's actively dating five other women. Wow. When I confronted him, he said, well, we both knew we weren't exclusive, but am I crazy? Doesn't dating five people at the same time put up a serious red flag? Plus, no more blood diseases. We use protection, but not during oral. Should I be worried? I feel like. Well. Well, first of all, no one likes protection during oral. That's kind of silly. Yeah, there's not a big run on the dental day or the rubber B.J. and where are the D O? There. Aisle seven. They're on sale. They're in the. They're in the end cap. He's seeing five other people. So he's. He. He's organized. Yeah, he, he, he knows what's going on here. He schedule. I say you should be lucky to be one of the Five. This guy. This guy's got CFO written all over him. Yes. He's got a big future. Damn right, day planner. Hey, you know what? She knew this going in. I don't know. What? She's so surprised if this guy said we're not exclusive. Yeah, she didn't get fat, did she? She. Oh, okay. Depends on what she up, right? No, it just depends on what she wants. If it's working, I mess it up. I mean. But the whole time she's gonna be thinking, well, what'd you do with Susie? What about with Queenie? That's the last thing you can do is worry about who he's pounding when he's not with you. Okay, don't. Don't even think. By the way, did he tell you that he'll be by for Thanksgiving at exactly 11:14? He's gotta leave at 12:10 and he's got eight minutes of that. That's pure coitus. So that's all he's got. He's got you penciled in. Yes. And then he's going to leave his car running and back it in so he can get out quickly and you have to cancel. It's going to be another two weeks before you can. I can't fit you in. We've solved that. We have time for one more letter. More success. Dear Ally, my husband offered for us to host Thanksgiving, but so far he's done zero shopping, zero cooking and zero cleaning. So volunteered me to do all those things. Exactly. He works full time and I work part time from home. And we have one child. He says that I'm the one who has time to do all this stuff, but I'm the one raising his kid and keeping up his home. It's his kid, Tom. I'll tell you what, Ali, I was just reading an article about this. More and more Americans are going out for Thanksgiving. So they're going to. There's lots of restaurants that have Thanksgiving specials. I would recommend that Mr. Hardworking get out his Visa, MasterCard, American Express or Diners Club and take everybody out to dinner. So this hard working mother of a one year old who has better things to do than worry about all the stress that Thanksgiving brings, go out for dinner. That's what I would do. I totally agree. Or at least order one of those. Can't you just order from. Yes. There's also tons of places that are doing to go. But in her defense, and you know this, you're hosting. There's a lot more to it than just the cooking. It's the cleaning and the organizing and the decorating and the. I have dish pan hands. I've been washing dishes for three days. It's a lot to host. Yeah, yeah. But no, that's, there's a simple solution. Especially if this guy doesn't want to do any of the work, right? Yeah. Especially with a baby. Come on, that's, that's way too much to ask. She could always do the old Lysistrata bit and say no nookie, no washy. What is it? No, no washing, no washy, no nookie. Which is what? No. Was that, was that Lysistrata? That wasn't the Greeks, was it? Confucius Using that with some, some dry cleaner. Oh, okay. Lysistrata dry cleaner. It's, it's a, it's a, it's a Greek reference, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah. The benefits, the benefits of a classical education. Ally, are you. I hope you have a great time in a Atlanta with the various members of your family. Who's going to be at the dinner table for Thanksgiving? It's going to be my, you know, me, my sister, her family, the kids, and then my brother in law's parents and one of his brothers. So it's going to be a bunch of us. Did you bring your boyfriend? No, he's with his family this year. Is he. Did he ask you to come with him? Them? Yeah, yeah. We decided to go separately this year. This is a first. Well, it's probably best to eat. Just ease right up. Yeah. No. Are you going to put. What do you put on your plate like a. A tablespoon of cranberry sauce and half a carrot. You're gonna go big. I won't eat all day. I'll have a huge. A nice big Thanksgiving day. I don't love the turkey. Everything else is amazing though. I'll go big on stuffing, mashed potatoes, that green bean capital. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Well, good luck. Thank you. The lovely Ali Breen. Always a great pleasure. Ali, good job. Happy Thanksgiving. Ally. See you all. Well worth it. Yeah, that was good. We certainly helped a lot of people. Yes, we did. We're gonna wrap things up in just a minute with the famous hot dog straw segment. Don't want to miss that. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back to the Best of the Bob and Tom show here on Wednesday morning. We wrap things up this morning. I don't know who thought of this, but it's brilliant. A hot dog straw. Let's get the details. There's Jess Hooker. Hi. She's Made us swear off hot dogs for, I don't know, 30 days probably. Yeah. There's Ace. Man, they were good, though. There's Ace Cosby manning the track phone, hotline, hot phone. There's Wolf Griswold. Good morning. I'm Chick McGee. And here's Tom Griswold. I'm busy already. Are we all taking hot dogs home with us, too? What are you working on over there? I think we finished them off. Oh, good. I am working on making another hot dog straw. Okay. All right, now, once, as you can see, I have skewered this hot dog lengthwise with this stick. You didn't have any trouble at all doing that, did you? No. And not centered whatsoever. No, it's not. He bites off the end, and then it is. Now I shove the. The. What is this? This is called a shish kebab stick or something. Yes, it's. It's a skewer. And then I. And then that's a milkshake straw. Then I sleeve it, if you will, with this milkshake straw, Josh. And we're gonna see how this is done. It won't take three. It's gonna be on his YouTube channel, how to skewer. Yeah. And then I cram it down like that. And there we go. Kind of bulging. Looks like a big veiner on that baby. Your word choice today. All right, now, so then I. Then I remove them both. All right. And then I'll bite off the tip, right? Yep. Give the old. No, just swallow it. Don't. Don't bite it. No, he did. He didn't eat it. No, he didn't. He just let it fall out of his mouth. Yes. Biting it off again because the first bite didn't work, I'm telling you. There we go. Oh, there you go. You can hear it. I got him. Yeah, you can hear him. Okay, now I'm going to try to. As you know, I tend to eat unusual foods. And for breakfast, Josh might have. No, you're not going to. Don't suck up your acai bowl. Is that what this is? His current fad, the acai bowl. This is an acai bowl. It looks like the delicious. It looks like a five star breakfast for a vampire. I submit this will be too thick. Now, you want. Acai is a. What is it? A South American berry, I believe. Yeah. And it's a. It's whipped up. It looks kind of like grape jelly. Yeah. But it's a little bit looser. It's not quite as viscous as a jam or A jelly. And then I have. Then there's some nice fresh fruit in here and then some granola. And you put peanut butter. Butter in it, too. And peanut butter that makes it delicious. A thickening agent. So, yeah, so I've got it all in here. So I'm going to try to really suck the. I don't think you're going to be able to do it there, bud. Suck the acai bowl. Go ahead. Into a hot dog. I don't know if you're going to ruin that hot dog or ruin that. I know. Our appetites will be ruined. There he goes. He's really sucking as hard as he can. He can. I mean, his. His cheeks are caved in up there. No, no, nothing's going up there. I feel like I've learned so much about you guys watching you do this, but my gosh, the. Just the. The effort he's putting into that suck. Yeah, this was the effort my heart was doing before they had to fix it. They're going, hey, we're not getting. We're not getting any blood through here anymore. What the hell's going on? Yeah, I'm getting nothing. But. No, let's just try. What? Yeah, there you go. Yeah, sorry. Going to dip it now and then. Yeah, it's dipped in there. Yeah. Unfortunately, he did not bite the hot dog end. He sucked the jam off of the end of the hot. Once again, it's asahi. And what's the difference between jam and jelly? Oh, don't paddle show. You can't jelly this thing up the. Up. Okay, okay. Yeah, this didn't work. Sorry. Yeah, it sucked as I sucked him. Maybe if it were short order. No, hang on a second. Give me just one second here. Oh, my goodness. Okay, shorten the hot dog straw. You're all over the Internet today now. Oh, you gotta eat. You have to. It looks hidden. He's a spitter. Are you watching it? Okay, now I'm. I'm gonna try to. Explains a lot, doesn't it? Here we go. All right, now he's trying it with the shorter. Oh, he said it's coming through. When he sucks on the short ones, they come through. Awful, boys and awful. He said. Yeah, yeah. The. The acai hot dog will not be featured at the state fair next year, but you might be. Yeah, that is. Have you seen the guy next to the. Guess your weight, dude? Yeah, I don't think I read a freak show. That's what he's guessing. That is not good. He still hasn't tried it. No, he hasn't I have this beef stick over here. You want to try it? I don't. I won't. That's just. I already know it's okay. Okay, so. Well, there's no point. That doesn't make for hilarity like him. What fluid should we have? Ace, Try to suck through that thing. Ace, do you want bloody Mary? Do you want a beer? Sure. Do you want a Coke? You like Fresca? You drink Fresca every morning? Yeah. You want to do a Fresca through this beef stick? Let's do it. You go get a Fresca while you do that. We have. We can kill some time with the Ace Cosby joke of the day. Ladies and gentlemen, the Deep boys. Here he is with his joke of the day. What do you call a detective who only solves cases accidentally? What do you call a detective who only solves cases accidentally? Sheer luck, homes. Can't argue with. Yeah, Nothing like a pun. No, I think that's very skilled. I enjoy coming from the punishment master. Okay, now we have a Fresca. What is Fresca exactly? Lemon, Lime? I don't like your attitude. We could be getting sports updates. Check that picture that's floating around. The great Lynn Dawson passed away recently, and there's a picture of him smoking on the sidelines. No, everybody says that's a beer. That is a Fresca. A bottle of Fresca. I don't doubt it at all. He smoked in the. In the locker room during halftime of the. So what is a. What is. What is that straw made of now? Beef stick. Did you get any? It's turkey. Turkey, beef stick. It tastes like Fresca through a beef stick. Oh, jeez. Oh, he's the team player. Yeah. Having fun. He's having a lot of fun. Right? Play along. Did you guys learn nothing from the shrimp cocktail? Apparently not. Come on. Gratitude was not served at a cat. I never tasted anything like that. Say less. By which I mean say less. That's what I mean. They're not not not say less, as the hipsters would say. Now, yesterday at this time, we were talking about Snoop Dogg's new cereal. Yes. Snoop Loops, which I think are great. I want to try them. Why do you think they're great? I think it's a fun idea. I don't know anything about. You don't eat sugary cereal. You don't find these j. Yeah, I'm looking. I have a cereal collection in my office right now. Different cereals that we could try. Yeah, really are the Snoop Loops Available or was that just. I've got. I'm on a wait list for the Snoop Loops. And there was another one, an orange juice cereal. Do you remember this? I do remember this one. Yeah. Orange juice instead of milk poured over. Yeah, I've got a Google alert waiting. And you guys poo pooed this. But Dean had actually ordered this. Reinvented pasta. Yeah. Where these basically scientists created a new shape of pasta that held this gaslight. This. That was delicious. And you guys all loved it. We did. And we knew that we would like it. We had no problem with the shape. It was that you said a plain noodle, and this noodle tastes different, and they don't taste different. Well, I know we've had many expert chefs. Yes. All the finest chef heads have given their opinions. What are we doing? Well, now I'm getting a feel. We're back now, Josh. Say less. You know, we had many chefs weigh in that the shape of the pasta changes its composition. That's not true. That is not true. Saying that the spongebob Mac and cheese tastes different than the regular Mac. Right. Exactly. That is true, though. That is true. Whose side are you on, hooker? A character. Macaroni and cheese 100 tastes different. It's like. It's like the shape of an automobile. You know, a Corvette cuts through the air differently than, say, an suv. Yes, all automobiles do taste the same. I was saying that the other day while I ate a Kia. Okay, well, the point is we'll have to wait to try the new Snoop Dogg. Yeah, it's not. They don't have a date announced yet. Have you guys. Have you ordered the new Chris Brown cereal? What's it called? Battered Wheat. Oh, I'm the bad guy. Yeah. Yeah. He almost killed her. Yeah. And guess what? Still going on. On tour. Yeah. How did he not get canceled? I agree. Here's the point. Dear Bob and Tom. Yes, after watching Tom pull the ASA E through a hot dog. This is from Chris a Gentleman. I wanted. I was just curious if Tom wants to go out on a date. This is the Bob and Tom Show. The holidays mean more travel, more shopping, more time online, and more personal info in more places that could expose you more to identity theft. But LifeLock monitors millions of data points per second. If your identity is stolen, our US Based restoration specialists will fix it, guaranteed or your money back. 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