The BOB & TOM Show - December 5, 2025

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show – December 5, 2025

Podcast: The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast
Hosts: Tom Griswold, Josh Arnold, Christy Lee, Willie Griswold, Ace Cosby, Pat Godwin
Notable Guests: Maria Bamford, Jackie Kashian, Mickey Sudo, Nick Weary
Theme: Comedic deep-dive into holiday traditions, Christmas media, competitive eating, and offbeat news, with trademark playful banter and zany asides.

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Episode Overview

This lively episode of The BOB & TOM Show blends holiday cheer, pop culture debates, and irreverent humor. The crew kicks off with elaborate spoofs of Christmas TV specials and comedic sketches, then effortlessly weaves in conversations about competitive eating, classic and weird Christmas songs, family traditions, and the Pantone Color of the Year. Star guests include comedian Maria Bamford, comic Jackie Kashian, and championship eaters Mickey Sudo and Nick Weary, adding even more wit and quirky stories. Expect lots of playful teasing, spontaneous tangents, and memorable quotes.

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Key Segments and Discussion Points

1. Holiday Comedy Kicks Off (01:21–03:18)

• The show opens with a spoof: “A Walking Dead Christmas,” blending zombie gags with Christmas special tropes.
• Standout quote:
  • Willie G (as ‘Santa’ zombie, 03:07): "Hey, give me back my spleen or you’re on my naughty list!"

2. Meet the Cast and Banter (03:24–07:18)

• All the regular cast is introduced in classic BOB & TOM style.
• The crew jokes about their outfits and “Color of the Year,” teasing Tom’s aversion to certain shades and their poetic descriptions.
• Christy Lee (04:10): "Yeah, we do it every year. It's usually a color I've never heard of."

3. The Great "Color of the Year" Debate (04:00–07:18, returns at 133:02)

• Recap of odd colors from past years (Ultimate Gray, Mocha Moose).
• Running gag about manufacturers' ridiculous marketing language.
• Teaser for 2026 color reveals (later identified as “Cloud Dancer,” a shade of white, Pantone 111-4201).
• Christy Lee (133:32): "A billowy white imbued with serenity… encourages true relaxation and focus, allowing the mind to wander and creativity to breathe…"
• Universal mockery of the nonsensical descriptions from Pantone.

4. Yesterday’s Highlights Recap (07:18–09:38)

• Singer-songwriter Edwin McCain’s “singalong” Christmas song about his daughter and a baby chihuahua.
• Recap of “competitive eating” guests—Joey Chestnut, Mickey Sudo, Nick Weary—plus watch out for more food shenanigans.

5. Favorite Christmas Movies & The "Is It a Christmas Movie?" Debate (10:04–13:12)

• Classic BOB & TOM riffing on what classifies as a Christmas movie (Die Hard, Harry Potter, Home Alone).
• Tom admits "limited appreciation" for birds, referencing bizarre experiences and why he dislikes the pigeon lady in Home Alone 2.
• Tom Griswold (12:47): "I lived in New York long enough—if you see someone like that, they're gonna lift up their skirt and have no panties on and scream."

6. Bird Stories & The Twelve Days of Christmas Bit (13:15–25:01)

• Hilarious stories about birds, including a family legend involving a bird "crapping in his [Tom’s dad’s] soup" at a restaurant.
• A classic Randy Lubas stand-up bit deconstructs “The Twelve Days of Christmas” and the absurd number of birds involved.
• Randy Lubas (24:00): "By the twelfth day he’s accumulated 42 swans, 42 geese, 36 calling birds, 30 hens... That’s 184 birds!"
• Playful banter about the economic/TV-news “cost of Christmas” stories that surface every year.

7. Christmas Music & Radio (28:29–32:13)

• Chat about preferred holiday music, singing along, and Dean Martin’s version of “Rudolph” (“Rudy”).
• Music trivia and Tom’s odd audiophile tangents, including the ear damage that comes with years of wearing headphones.

8. Hilarious Family, Home, and “Pant/Slacks” Tangents (36:29–84:52)

• Spirited riffing on digital photo frames as gifts, plus the confusion over clothing terms (pant, pants, slacks, trousers).
• Classic Tom anecdote: “As you know, if you buy anything online at Christmas time…” (Peter Millar vs. Peter Miller shirts).
• Jokes about generational attire differences and the “right side” of the bed.

9. Competitive Eating Segment: Prepping for the Championship (38:52–57:20; 139:10–163:49)

• Interviews with competitive eaters Mickey Sudo and Nick Weary (who are a married couple).
• Details on the competition:
  • 10 eaters, 10-minute wing contest (with Joey Chestnut there as well).
  • Eating method descriptions: “displacement” weighing, technique differences with “flats” vs. “drummies.”
  • Techniques—how they train, mind games/tactics, what happens “after” the contest.
  • Nick Weary (142:09): “I think the winner will probably be somewhere in the 210 to 250 mark [wings in ten minutes].”
  • Both reveal their world records in other eat-offs (Mickey: 16.5 pints of ice cream in 6 minutes).
• Behind-the-scenes—balancing training, family, and young kids. Mickey: “We actually met at the hotel gym on the morning of the hot dog eating contest...”

10. Notable Guest: Maria Bamford—Whimsical Wisdom, Marriage, and Family (86:07–132:44)

• Comedian Maria Bamford discusses everything from her fancy glasses to finding love within five miles on OkCupid.
• Serious-funny revelations about marriage “rules,” compliments, and marital critiques.
• Maria Bamford (89:26): "For every one negative interaction you have with your spouse, you gotta have five positives... It doesn’t have to be genius."
• Discussion of being a progressive comedian, what “canceled” means, and client demographics.
• Fun stories about her husband, painter Scott Marvel Cassidy, and Jackie's dad's outsider art.
• Off-the-wall exchanges about funerals, pets (iguana, blind dog, burying animals in the yard), and “good” family behavior.

11. Christmas Song Foods – What IS Figgy Pudding? (91:22–97:07)

• Breakdown of weird foods in carols (“figgy pudding” = British spiced dessert with fruits/nuts; “wassail” = spiced wine or cider; “sugar plums” = fruit/nut balls, not actual plums).
• Multiple jokes about “wet plops” and classic misheard lyrics.
• Josh Arnold (92:40): “That’s like the one joke in that song [‘Fat Like Santa’]!”

12. Odd News, Merch, and Recipe Tangents (109:03–136:50)

• Merch gone weird: Pop star Lily Allen’s “butt plug” USB drive (for her album) and the panel’s thoughts on physical/digital collectibles.
• Quirky “failed to mention news” by Jeff Oskay.
• Story of a motorized “garden shed” setting the land speed record (123 mph), plus jokes about tool puns and airport food challenges.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Tom Griswold (14:01): “A bird crapped in my dad’s soup.”
• Willie G (24:55): “By the twelfth day, that’s 184 birds… and we didn’t even take into consideration those geese are a layin’.”
• Maria Bamford (89:26): “You got to make up for it by saying, you have a monkey face and monkey hands and a monkey body and you’re a monkey."
• Nick Weary (142:09): "I think the winner will probably be somewhere in the 210 to 250 mark."
• Christy Lee (133:32): (On Pantone’s “Cloud Dancer”) "A billowy white imbued with serenity... encourages true relaxation and focus, allowing the mind to wander and creativity to breathe…”

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Highlights by Timestamp

• 01:21–03:18: Christmas parody “A Walking Dead Christmas”
• 04:00–07:18: Color of the Year banter
• 13:15–25:01: “Bird” stories and “Twelve Days of Christmas” comedy bit
• 38:52–57:20: Contestant eating breakdown and interview (Part I)
• 86:07–132:44: Maria Bamford & Jackie Kashian extended segment—holiday habits, comedy, and family
• 139:10–163:49: Competitive eating, training, and couples’ stories (Part II)
• 133:32: Pantone Color of the Year revealed—“Cloud Dancer”

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The Bob & Tom Tone: Playful, Experimental, and Irreverent

This episode is a prime example of why the show endures: its freewheeling, improvisational wit. Familiar traditions, like Christmas carols and holiday movies, get the BOB & TOM treatment—equal parts nostalgia, mischief, and blunt candor. Competitive eating is explored as both a spectacle and a science. Guests (Maria Bamford, Jackie Kashian) keep the laughs rolling with self-deprecating stories, and even the regular ads and promos become fodder for off-kilter jokes. The entire episode walks a line between genuine affection and comedic roasting.

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a smorgasbord of holiday levity, with lively group chemistry driving everything from heated movie debates to musings about eating 250 wings in 10 minutes. It features top-tier comedic guests and behind-the-scenes glimpses into professional eating, all delivered with the unmistakable chaotic charm of The BOB & TOM Show.

Transcript

[Josh Arnold]

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[Tom Griswold]

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[Josh Arnold]

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[Josh Arnold]

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[Mickey Sudo]

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[Tom Griswold]

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[Christy Lee]

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[Tom Griswold]

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[Christy Lee]

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[Tom Griswold]

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[Christy Lee]

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[Tom Griswold]

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[Christy Lee]

Savor responsibly.

[Josh Arnold]

It's the bob and tom show.

[Tom Griswold]

This season, the Bob and Tom television network presents a Christmas special you'll never forget.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, there's the doorbell. I'll bet it's carolers.

[Tom Griswold]

That's right. America's favorite zombies are taking a break from terrorizing the countryside to ring in the holidays. It's a walking dead Christma.

[Josh Arnold]

Everybody knows that zombies can eat flesh. But who knew?

[Tom Griswold]

They can also sing like angels.

And no one can embrace the true meaning of Christmas like zombies.

It's a walking dead Christmas.

[Josh Arnold]

And what Christmas special would be complete.

[Tom Griswold]

Without a surprise visit from Santa Claus?

[Josh Arnold]

All right, Bobby, now tell old Santa.

[Willie G]

Claus what you'd like.

Hey, give me back my spleen or.

[Josh Arnold]

You'Re on my naughty list. It's a walking dead Christmas.

[Tom Griswold]

Right after the inspirational redneck Christmas special, Here Comes Jesus. Boo.

[Josh Arnold]

Boo.

[Tom Griswold]

Only from the Bob and Tom Television network.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, look who it is. It's you. Thank you for joining us here at the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios.

That's right, ladies, it's the Bob and Tom Show. Speaking of pretty ladies, there's Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance Company news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Ah, you flatter me.

[Josh Arnold]

Pat Godwin's over there.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello.

[Josh Arnold]

Resplendent in corduroy.

[Willie G]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Nice color.

[Josh Arnold]

There's Willie G. Prize pick sports desk this morning. Hey, man, Ace Cosby's there. Howdy. I'm Josh Arm with the I hate Stephen Singer sidekick. Jared, I like it, but you have.

[Tom Griswold]

It in dog poop. Brown. Okay. Thank.

[Willie G]

A turd is in the shoe.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, actually, coming up, we have the so called color of the year.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, Josh, you better be sitting down. When you hear the pros, they used to describe.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I always enjoy that. It's usually. And it's usually a color I've never heard of.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, this year. This one. I am, I am so excited. Don't say anything. I am so excited.

[Josh Arnold]

I can believe it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. It's a little less gay than it usually is. Oh, all right, we'll go with that. Here.

[Willie G]

Right off the bat, Chrissy made a face that made me laugh.

[Tom Griswold]

Jump back a little bit. I mean, seriously, can you imagine, can you imagine if he went to an NFL game? All right, before. Before the game, we like to announce the color of the year. The booing that would ensue.

[Christy Lee]

Antone does it every year. I know, it's a big deal.

[Tom Griswold]

And the. I love the pros, by the way.

[Josh Arnold]

Is it for the year that has just passed or is it.

[Tom Griswold]

It's.

[Josh Arnold]

It's the future will be cool next year.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

How dare you? You don't remember the color of the year for 2025.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't. Do you?

[Nick Weary]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

You know somebody before the show, I thought, well, I.

[Christy Lee]

You better look it up.

[Tom Griswold]

I. I wonder if, I wonder if we did this story last year.

[Christy Lee]

We did.

[Tom Griswold]

By God, we sure did. Yeah, of course we did the color of the year last year. Let's see. Oh, I've got it going way back. Yeah, we've done this story many, many times.

[Christy Lee]

We do it every year.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it was Ultimate Gray.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

That was in 2021. And who can forget. Who can forget ultimate gray in 2021?

[Christy Lee]

Ultimate Gray ended up being probably the number one selling paint color by Sherwin Williams. I think. I mean, it was everywhere.

[Tom Griswold]

Classic blue was the color of the year in 2020. Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

And then I have heard of something.

[Tom Griswold]

And then last year. Excuse me. The 2025 color of the year.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember this one? Mocha Moose.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Remember, because it was like a tannish brown color.

[Tom Griswold]

It's quote. The quote here is it looks like soft serve baby poop.

[Christy Lee]

It does not say that. The quote here written by Tom Grizzly.

[Willie G]

Okay, this is the problem with AI is that you get a soft summary. And dad, you have that same issue. The quote here, as if it's direct from the corporation, not some Reddit comment.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's. Yeah, they give you the number because Pantone, obviously they have paint numbers so you can get the exact Match.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

The color of the year. If you want to squeeze it in. Mocha Moose is a pantone 1712, 30, which I believe is also the name of Elon Musk's latest kid. Good old, good old, good old 1712, 30. It's good to see you. Welcome to the earth. We'll get to this year's color of the earth. Very exciting. I've got a stack of mail here that I have not reviewed yet. We'll be getting to that. Also yesterday we had a really great time with a singer, songwriter, Edwin McCain who did a great new Christmas song that it was kind of a sing along that involves the true story of his kids bringing home a baby Chihuahua.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And then we also had Joey Chestnut in the studios with us, the world champion eater. And he's getting ready for a big production and a big competition this weekend as part of the Big Ten championship celebration. Also today we're going to feature Mickey Sudo and how does Nick pronounce his last name?

[Christy Lee]

I have no idea. Nick Weary.

[Tom Griswold]

Is it Weary? They're also eating competitors.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And we're going to meet them. Mickey, I understand is coming off a.

[Christy Lee]

Big win and has beaten Joey Chestnut. She's very good.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. A friend of mine was explaining he saw her at a concert and before the main act came on, she came on stage and ate several dozen boiled eggs.

[Christy Lee]

What concert?

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, it's showbiz.

[Christy Lee]

Last time you went to a concert and the opening act was a competitive eater.

[Willie G]

Never.

[Christy Lee]

Never.

[Tom Griswold]

No, never.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, interesting.

[Tom Griswold]

It happened. Speaking of concerts, we have a bizarre story involving.

How do I word this? I was gonna say hippie music.

[Willie G]

Jam bands.

[Tom Griswold]

Jam bands and edm. Cool. There's a really interesting story involving a soon to be game show involving them that I'm very excited about. And also the great comedian Maria Bamford scheduled to stop by today. Certainly looking forward to the best talking to Maria. Absolutely. Patty G, you've got a song for us. Songs, Plural. Okay. Have a good time today. I'll try to get, try to get a good one on. Get a good one on early and I, I don't know if they're going to be bringing in more. Yesterday they brought in Hermanaki wings which.

[Christy Lee]

I had for dinner last night as well. Yeah, put them in the air fryer.

[Willie G]

Those are nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Herman, Herman himself was here, the chef that developed the Hermannaki wings. I'm hoping they bring more today. They were delicious. Yeah, they were great. So I guess you the listener don't get to enjoy them, but we'll, we'll explain their origin, etc. Etc. Now, Willie G. Is here with us. And Willie, we also talked with Al Jackson yesterday, and you and Al Jackson will be in Dayton, Ohio. Talk tonight and tomorrow.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, That'll be a good time.

[Willie G]

Yeah, man, I'm excited. I haven't hung out with down a little while. He's the best.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I do have. Funny enough, one of the letters we got today was about meeting Al Jackson recently and what a great time they had and what a nice guy. Nice guy Al is. Where are you guys playing?

[Willie G]

Funny Bone, Dayton, Ohio. Come hang out, man. It's gonna be a fun time. There's ticket. There's a ticket link. Excuse me. In my Instagram bio at Willie Griswold. Come check it out.

[Tom Griswold]

We were also talking about.

What. What is your favorite Christmas movie? And that kind of drifted into what is and isn't a Christmas movie. I'm not so sure. That's a very interesting debate. But we do have this. And Josh, you're gonna have to help.

[Josh Arnold]

Me with this, all right?

[Tom Griswold]

Because I never. I never actually watched this movie. Oh.

I watch this Christmas movie every year, writes Michael, 1941.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I don't. Boy, it's been.

[Willie G]

I don't see the connection.

[Josh Arnold]

20 years since I've seen it, so.

[Tom Griswold]

Said something about Ned Beatty's closing line.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah. I don't remember.

[Tom Griswold]

1941 was one of those movies. Steven Spielberg.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Attempted a comedy and did not do well.

[Josh Arnold]

No. I think it's better than its reputation.

[Tom Griswold]

But it is at everybody in it.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

Candy Ackroyd. Belushi.

[Willie G]

Oh, wow. Check that out.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, Yeah. I don't know why it would be. I haven't seen it, so I can't comment. But it may in fact be a Christmas movie, so let me know. The. The debate is always about Die Hard.

[Jackie K]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Which I think there's no debate there. It takes place during Christmas party. So it's a Christmas. It doesn't have Santa Claus in it necessarily, but it takes place during Christmas.

[Willie G]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Necessarily.

[Christy Lee]

That's your criteria.

[Tom Griswold]

If you watch It's a Wonderful Life, there's a couple scenes where if you have to look really carefully, but you can see Santa Claus over there in the corner.

[Josh Arnold]

He does say ho, ho, ho. He writes ho, ho, ho in it, though.

[Nick Weary]

He does.

[Josh Arnold]

I have a machine gun now.

Yeah, sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Willie G]

I just watched it. I watched that Harry Potter. There's always It's Christmas Harry. There's a fun scene in there. I like a sort of kind of Christmas movie. It's a good time.

[Tom Griswold]

I just. The only one I've watched in its entirety so far this year is Home Alone. The first one.

[Christy Lee]

Did you watch with the girls?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Did they love it?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Mickey Sudo]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That is so funny.

[Christy Lee]

That holds up.

[Willie G]

Oh, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Willie G]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a good movie.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't care for the second one. Sorry.

[Willie G]

The John Candy ad libs are just. He's just great in that movie.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, the po. He plays the clarinet player in the original.

[Josh Arnold]

I know the main reason why Tom doesn't like the second one.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Josh Arnold]

The bird lady. Grosses him out.

[Tom Griswold]

That just creeps me out in Central Park.

[Christy Lee]

That lady. Yeah.

[Willie G]

I just love the way he couldn't.

[Josh Arnold]

Even talk about the first one.

[Willie G]

He couldn't even enjoy it without drawing a line in the sand. And by the way, I'm not a fan of number two, you guys, so don't bring it up in front of me.

[Christy Lee]

Well, you know him. Well, I'm not.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not Anti sequel. I will. I think Toy Story 2 is the best movie that's come out in the last 50.

[Willie G]

Anti. Weird pigeon lady.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that. I lived in New York long enough. If you see someone like that, they're gonna lift up their skirt and have no panties on and scream.

She had a wonderful backstory.

[Willie G]

What happened to you?

[Tom Griswold]

I'm just saying that's reality. I. I have a limited appreciation of birds.

[Josh Arnold]

I do feel like.

That'S amazing.

That's one of the more amazing things I've heard.

[Tom Griswold]

I've got a guy. I need that isolated.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my goodness.

[Tom Griswold]

I could. I'll tell a real quick story, honestly.

[Josh Arnold]

Wasn't your dad the same way?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And I'll tell a real quick story. This is somewhat pretentious. There'll be three people out there that will get this. There used to be a really great famous restaurant on in. In London called Darien. I think it was. Was it Darien? Tom's Something D E R. I forgot exactly the name, but there was an aviary upstairs.

[Willie G]

Of course there was.

[Tom Griswold]

In the restaurant. And my father always had wanted to go there.

[Maria Bamford]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

He'd been reading about it his whole life. And my sister moved to England. We went over there. So. And this was like, such a special moment for many. He was. He had a cane and a wheelchair. Was kind of a hassle to do stuff. But we were there sitting down. And again, he had somewhat limited mobility. And I swear to God, a bird crapped in his soup. And he hated birds because he couldn't.

[Christy Lee]

That's why they crapped in a suit.

[Tom Griswold]

So I guess. I guess they. I guess they knew. Jen, if you're listening, you can back me up on this. Yeah, so that kind of spoiled that.

[Christy Lee]

So did that spoil that for you, too, Because.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no, no, I found it hilarious. But I still. I agree with them. I. I like seagulls because it means you're near the water, you can go sailing. But I love birds. I like looking at birds from distance. I feel the same way about horses. I don't want to ride them. I'm afraid of them. But I like looking at them across the field.

[Christy Lee]

All right, fair enough.

[Tom Griswold]

Wouldn't mind feeding them a carrot if they're in a stall.

Come on. I know my limitations.

[Josh Arnold]

Man has guidelines.

[Tom Griswold]

That's exactly right. I draw the line at bir.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no, he has a limited appreciation.

[Willie G]

But seagulls, it means that you're close.

[Josh Arnold]

To the water, maybe uniformly the most hated bird.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Willie G]

But it leads to the possibility of sailing.

[Tom Griswold]

You see seagulls, and you're going to hear the. The. The. What is it?

The stays and the shrouds and the clanging of the.

[Christy Lee]

I can drive you three miles from here and show you seagulls. So that's not exactly true.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I know the seagulls. They. Mr. Siegels is in my lawyer's law firm. Okay.

[Willie G]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I tell you, coming up, we have a bird tribute, a Christmas bird trip.

[Christy Lee]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

That is a. A perfect piece from comedian Randy Lubas. We have to play it again. I love that. Right now. This message is brought to you by Raycon. They're the earbuds folks, and they've got a special thing going on right now. If you're looking for a great gift, this is a good gift, because let's just say you have a teenager that has tastes that may differ from yours in music, and you'd like them to be able to listen to theirs. Well, you can listen to peace and quiet, or you can listen to us or whatever you want to. How would you go about getting those, Christy Lee?

[Christy Lee]

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[Tom Griswold]

Okay. A great gift. Thank you very much. Christy Lee. Once again, coming up, more competitive eaters, comedian Maria Bamford. And we'll come back with a classic piece involving birds and the holiday season. I think you're going to like it. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

Kevin Harlan here tonight. The NBA on Prime crew and I are back with another spectacular NBA doubleheader. The action starts with one of the best rivalries in sports as Luka Doncic and the Los Angeles Lakers take on the Boston Celtics with Jaylen Brown. Then Cooper Flagg and the Mavs take on SGA and the Oklahoma City Thunder. It all comes your way tonight on Prime. And if you're not a Prime member, that's not a problem. Sign up for a free 30 day trial to get started today. The Lakers and Celtics. The Mavs and Thunder coverage starts tonight at 6:30pm Eastern only on Prime. Restrictions apply. See Amazon.com Amazon prime for details.

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Christy Lee's at the Silac Insurance Company news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, hi.

[Josh Arnold]

Matching somewhat with Pat Godwin today.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, a light brown going on Heather.

[Christy Lee]

Heather Brown.

[Josh Arnold]

Both look terrific. There's my gosh, look at him.

He's got a great mustache going on. It's Willie Griswold.

[Willie G]

Well, good to see you, Josh at.

[Josh Arnold]

The prize pick sports desk.

[Willie G]

I'm not to make you, I'm not to cut in. I love when you do intros so much. It's my favorite thing and it always makes me smile and legitimately laugh.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I'm, I'm happy. It broke me.

[Tom Griswold]

I was talking about it yesterday because Josh doesn't really have a plan and he thinks he's ready and then he starts doing it and then you hear these long pauses. Okay, I gotta come up with something.

[Willie G]

That's not what I was doing. I wasn't trying to.

[Josh Arnold]

And it's okay.

[Christy Lee]

Positive, positive.

[Josh Arnold]

Your dad's perception of what I do is wrong.

[Willie G]

I just liked it because you called my handsome. You said they look so nice and.

[Josh Arnold]

You got to meet.

[Willie G]

There was a pause. I didn't know if a dig was coming. Maybe a dramatic thing.

[Josh Arnold]

He thinks I'm unprepared and honestly ill equipped to do this.

[Tom Griswold]

Sure.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm not.

[Tom Griswold]

At all.

[Josh Arnold]

I just like to have fun with it. There's Ace Cosby.

[Tom Griswold]

Make sure that you got the names right.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm Josh Arnold at the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. And there's Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello. How's everybody doing?

We opened up the show with.

[Nick Weary]

With the.

[Tom Griswold]

With the. We opened up the show with that Christmas classic. That zombie classic.

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I love the part where it gets real serious.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. There's one zombie that's got. Got pipes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, he does a little bit of Silent Night. It's a zombie. I used to have a zombie friend.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

He's dead to me now.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, boy.

[Tom Griswold]

We were talking about birds for some reason.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And you.

[Christy Lee]

We found out that Josh. Tom doesn't.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Josh Arnold]

He has a limited appreciation for birds.

[Tom Griswold]

I really like the movie Home Alone. I don't care for the second one.

[Christy Lee]

Because of the pigeon.

[Josh Arnold]

If they removed the pigeon lady, would you care for this?

[Tom Griswold]

It might. That might help help me a little bit.

[Josh Arnold]

It's a fine sequel. That's the great Brenda Fricker.

[Tom Griswold]

Irish actress.

[Willie G]

That's just. It has the kids dream of unlimited room service and what you would do. I mean, that could be the whole movie for me. There could be no conflict. A kid ordering pizza and burgers and wings. That'd be a perfect movie for a kid.

[Josh Arnold]

My problem with the. The bird lady is the end of the movie, he runs out, gives her an ornament and then runs back to his. Runs back to the Plaza Hotel.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

And I guess I've always wanted her just to go. All right, well, I'll just stay here and be homeless then. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I just. I just crapped on a rock over by the Essex house.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Maybe a spot of tea, please.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe got a clean pair. Clean pair of undies. I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

Your rich dad doesn't have a contact.

[Tom Griswold]

But. But again, I do like. I do certainly do enjoy. Enjoy home alone. But I'm not a fan of the bird thing. I again, I like birds from a distance. I have friends that have whatever. Parakeets and cockatiels and big birds. I just. I don't want them.

[Christy Lee]

That's fine. Every. That's why we live in America.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Now, I had a bird feeder once.

[Josh Arnold]

I had a bird feeder once. That's as close as I'm gonna get.

[Willie G]

It's because usually I do one chick in here because he can make you shut up sometimes if chick gets in your way too much, if he plays too much defense. We don't get stuff like this.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Willie G]

We don't get. I had a bird feeder once.

[Josh Arnold]

Good point.

[Tom Griswold]

I used to live in a house. They call it a walkout.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Basement.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Where the house is built in the hill.

[Christy Lee]

Sure.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And the lower level is you could walk outside from the one side of the house.

[Willie G]

You describing the most regular things can sou.

[Josh Arnold]

So funny.

[Tom Griswold]

The point is, there was a deck. So the deck was like 20ft off the ground because the hill was kind of steep. So I spent an entire Sunday once rigging up a wire from the deck all the way across the backyard. There was a dam in the backyard kind of 100 yards from my house.

[Josh Arnold]

A damn what?

[Tom Griswold]

It's fair question. One time some drunk drove a boat over it. That was pretty funny. And he lived. The larger point here is I set up this giant wire, right. And then I had a whole pulley system, Right. So I could put the bird feeder stuff in there and then keep the birds away from my house.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, you don't want them near you?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, no, because they crap all over the deck.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Which was a. And it was fairly effective the day that I did it, my third trip to Home Depot. The guy. The guy looked at me and he goes, you're inventing something, aren't you, sir? I'll never forget that. But. So I'm not anti bird, like I said. I just. That movie creeps me out. I don't want birds landing on me. I went to my FedEx store the other day and there's. There was a guy there with a parrot on his shoulder.

[Josh Arnold]

Boy, that's slow delivery.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

I went up to my buddy Sean. Sean who works here. I said, who's this guy? Oh, he comes in here all the time. So if you have a. Isn't the parrot gonna poop all over your shirt?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Willie G]

That's just probably price you have to pay.

[Josh Arnold]

It is.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not paying that well. That leads to this, as Josh has called. This is a perfect so called comedy bit. This really is. Every word is in the right place. This is Randy Lubas and one of the absolute classics. It's, I think we call it the real Twelve Days of Christmas.

[Willie G]

You know, you play that and I.

[Nick Weary]

Hate to sound like a Scrooge, but.

[Tom Griswold]

I used to work in a department store and I used to sit there for an eight hour shift and have.

[Willie G]

To listen to that muzak Christmas tape over and over.

[Tom Griswold]

And they would play the single most annoying song known to man. You all know that song.

[Willie G]

I'm talking that song. The Twelve Days of Christmas. Now, first off, guys, I don't believe this song.

[Tom Griswold]

I can't believe that anybody is this into birds.

All right, think about it, Tom.

[Willie G]

On the seventh day alone, this guy's.

[Tom Griswold]

Getting seven swans a swim and six geese a lay and four calling birds.

[Josh Arnold]

Three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge.

[Willie G]

That's 23 birds.

[Tom Griswold]

Who is this man, Alfred Hitchcock?

[Willie G]

By the 12th day he's accumulated 42 swans, a swimming, 42 geese a laying, 36 calling birds, 30 French hens, 22.

[Josh Arnold]

Turtle doves and 12 partridges.

[Willie G]

Now I hope this man's got a.

[Josh Arnold]

Newspaper subscription.

[Willie G]

Because that's 184 birds.

[Josh Arnold]

And we didn't even take into consideration.

[Willie G]

Those geese are a laying.

Some of those eggs will be a hatching.

Hey, and if that's not bad enough, come the eighth day they start sending in show business people.

[Nick Weary]

Yeah.

[Willie G]

Ladies dancing drummers, drumming, pipers, piping.

[Jackie K]

Lord's a leaping.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, Bob, I'll expl.

[Willie G]

Except that they're in show business.

[Josh Arnold]

They're used to working around the holidays.

[Willie G]

But what about those poor maids of Milkin?

[Josh Arnold]

They ought to be home with their.

[Willie G]

Family on Christmas, not yanking on a cow.

I can see them sitting there on their stool.

[Josh Arnold]

He brings in one more stinking bird.

[Willie G]

And I'll be damned if I'm picking those pears.

[Tom Griswold]

Randy Luba. And an absolute gem. Thank you very much. Randy always loved that piece. And that was something that every year that I find really irritating.

[Josh Arnold]

What's that?

[Tom Griswold]

It's when the, the TV news guy comes on. Hey, we've got Wilbur Smith. Now the price. How much is the 12 days of Christmas this year?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I always like that. Yeah, nice yardstick for how the economy's doing it now.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. The one, the one story where I'd like to see the newscaster picked off with a rifle is when they, when, when they do the One every year about. Well, they say that people watching the NCAA college basketball tournament is going to. The productivity of our country is going to. We're going to have a depression because, you know, and then it's Christmas with the companies, like Christmas Gray and Shafting or something. They start talking about the lack of productivity. Hey, we have to have a little bit of fun. Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

No, I like that one, too, because I. I think it's important to point out to menial workers that we're not doing enough.

[Tom Griswold]

How dare you take a break and watch a basketball game for five minutes.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, morale does a lot.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Productivity.

[Willie G]

It would be so cool if the news anchor, while reading that was like, you know what? Screw this. Lights a cigarette on here.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't want to work hard anymore.

[Willie G]

Listen up, you guys.

[Tom Griswold]

What if the newscaster lit a smoke, grabbed a beer and popped the game on? Yeah. You know, I could read about the latest murder downtown, but let's watch. Let's watch some boots. So now that I've said I hate the story, it is founded here.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, the 12 years.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Hear it and I'll read it verbatim.

[Josh Arnold]

It really is so arbitrary.

[Tom Griswold]

But now you can guess. Oh, Christie will know this one. Now think about what's on the 12 days of Christmas. It includes five golden rings.

[Josh Arnold]

Those have got to be up.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. As a matter of fact, 32.5% more expensive for the golden rings since last year.

[Josh Arnold]

Nice.

[Tom Griswold]

That's staggering.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Overall, of course, the cost of celebrating Christmas is climbing again. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's apparently overall 4.5.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, when you read it like that, it is kind of annoying.

[Jackie K]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And I. When they do it, I want to know, are they leasing, like the.

[Josh Arnold]

Exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

The Maids of Milking.

[Josh Arnold]

Very silly.

[Tom Griswold]

They go back to Civil War era human ownership.

They're all having fun, man.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, we were.

[Tom Griswold]

So anyway, now, do you change the channel if you're listening to one of those Christmas radio shows and the. That song comes on 12 days of Christmas?

[Josh Arnold]

You know, I. I don't. I don't hear it very often. No, I think they kind of know.

[Willie G]

Yeah, they know.

[Christy Lee]

I was kind of surprised that there are so many different Christmas channels now. Yeah, I had no idea.

[Tom Griswold]

And every. Every city has at least two.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. But there's like a soul.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a good one.

[Christy Lee]

That is a good one. Smokey Robinson.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a good one.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But then there's also the. All instrumental ones.

[Christy Lee]

There's. Yes. There's the standard favorites and there's the.

[Tom Griswold]

Kind of solemn ones where they don't segue from Silent Night into Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer.

[Josh Arnold]

You guys sing along?

[Christy Lee]

Of course.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Why wouldn't you?

[Willie G]

I'm like an annoying theater get. I'm harmonizing. I'm the worst.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I'll go a third above myself.

[Christy Lee]

I actually listened to Christmas music on the way in today. I haven't done that.

[Tom Griswold]

Fun.

[Christy Lee]

It was very fun. Christy, here's some Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra.

[Willie G]

That is adorable. I am so jealous of your little cartoon doll life. You in just listening to Christmas music.

[Tom Griswold]

Have you. Have you heard the. I know you like Dean Martin. Oh, I do, too. But if you're Dean Martin, his version of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. He calls him Rudy.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, he does.

[Tom Griswold]

That's hilarious.

[Willie G]

That's cool.

[Tom Griswold]

Nobody else could get away with that. Rudy.

[Willie G]

He had three beers. He was having fun. Let him go.

[Christy Lee]

I loved it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Apparently, he kind of breezed through almost everything. I guess for that TV show, he'd show up five minutes before it started.

[Christy Lee]

Good for him.

[Tom Griswold]

And read up, read. Just read. The Cars.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, they were all kind of Sinatra. Any movie director would be like, let's get another take. You go, no, no, we got it. They were just like, damn.

[Willie G]

Even in the recording studio.

[Christy Lee]

Can you imagine having that kind of cool? Being that cool?

[Tom Griswold]

It's hard. It's a burden.

[Josh Arnold]

I bet, dude.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's more.

[Willie G]

Look at you over there with your BO. Bahamas canvas sat on Mr.

[Tom Griswold]

Cool.

[Josh Arnold]

Sinatra screws up in New York, New York.

[Willie G]

And they just kept it.

[Tom Griswold]

He repeated a line at the end famously. He doesn't. He doesn't get the end right. And they didn't fix it.

[Josh Arnold]

Imagine that. Tell him he didn't get the end right.

[Tom Griswold]

You tell him.

Yeah, I don't think Willie's heard Sinatra's version. We were talking yesterday about that controversy. It started, I think, six or seven years ago.

[Christy Lee]

I can tell you exactly when it was. 2018.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it was. And it was a radio station in Ohio made a real big deal out of not playing Baby It's Cold Outside, the song. Baby, It's Cold Outside. And then they went into this whole thing about date rape and got real serious.

[Willie G]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And Frank Sinatra did a famous version.

[Christy Lee]

Of the song with Ann.

[Josh Arnold]

Margaret could have just said it was controversial.

[Willie G]

There's such a better way to say it.

[Christy Lee]

I know.

[Josh Arnold]

Jam needles into our ears with those.

[Christy Lee]

Two words.

[Josh Arnold]

Before the setup for a bit.

[Christy Lee]

Thanks.

[Tom Griswold]

See, this is all me under the date rape bus.

[Jackie K]

This is.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, this is Pat. They can't Appreciate the warm water.

[Josh Arnold]

Go ahead.

[Tom Griswold]

Give him the cold water.

[Josh Arnold]

Go ahead, Pat. I'll make light of date right now.

You've got a hilarious song about this topic.

[Tom Griswold]

It's only. We only talk about roofies for about 30 seconds, but go. Go ahead. How would it. How would it go?

[Willie G]

Well, Sinatra and Ann Margaret, of course.

[Josh Arnold]

Did a version, and it goes something like this.

[Christy Lee]

I really can't stay.

[Willie G]

You're staying.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much. Well, glad to have you here. Thanks for coming along. Yeah, I sing along, too. Although there's. I've been having some issues with my. Especially my left ear from wearing headphones all these years. They did that one song. Do you hear what I hear? No, turn it up. I can't hear anything in this or. What a drag. Do you have a good ear and a bad earth?

[Christy Lee]

Yes. In fact, I'm going to the doctor. My right ear is really bad, huh? Real bad.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, do you find. And I don't want to get too.

[Josh Arnold]

Personal, actually, there's music going on right now. There is? Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that me?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's your bad ear there.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that it?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. You fixed it.

[Willie G]

This show is a real team.

[Tom Griswold]

Tell Eddie that this.

Engineer that. Apparently, the potentiometer number five is leaking.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, not number five.

[Tom Griswold]

I was jamming to some Ray Bryant. The Ray Bryant Trio. Highly recommend.

[Christy Lee]

You certainly were. This morning. It was.

[Tom Griswold]

Love the Ray.

[Willie G]

You love getting here early and just rocking out a little bit, doing some homework.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, no, it's not rocking.

[Nick Weary]

Oh, really?

[Willie G]

What is it?

[Josh Arnold]

Meth? Jazz.

[Willie G]

It's jazz.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it's just great now. It's the kind of. It's the kind of stuff you'd hear in a Woody Allen movie. Nice jazz piano.

[Willie G]

You love Woody Allen, man.

[Tom Griswold]

What was I going to mention?

[Josh Arnold]

Just the way he's chosen to live his life.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I know. Now, Christy, in the bedroom.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

If you have one. If you have. If you have one ear. That's better. Better than the other.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I may have to lobby to switch sides.

[Maria Bamford]

I.

[Christy Lee]

It's so funny you bring this up.

[Tom Griswold]

Went for lovemaking last week when I go, Pat. What? Excited Pat. Imagine that you had a woman you were sleeping with as opposed to someone you'd paid a fee to to come.

[Josh Arnold]

Over for a brief fling. I thought that was Josh's territory. He's a bully doll.

[Willie G]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I do have a great Josh in Souls coming up. I'm so excited about it.

[Christy Lee]

You've been sitting on it all day.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I thought of it while listening to some cool jazz this morning. I'm so excited for it. It is such a stretch. It is such a terrible joke. Josh.

[Willie G]

How does that make you feel knowing that while you're not here, he thinks of an insult so good. And he writes it down, and it makes him smile a little bit.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, he. There are mornings where in the green room, we'll run into each other and he'll go, oh, boy, do I have a good joke for you later.

[Tom Griswold]

I originally wrote it for Pat.

[Willie G]

Oh, yeah. I lost too much weight, so now you got to send it Josh's way.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I just thought it was. I thought Josh won't be as angry because it's clearly, I'm joking. But my point was going to be if I was going to make one, I always sleep on as. As if you're lying down on your back in the bed. I'm always on the right side.

[Christy Lee]

Me too.

[Tom Griswold]

In a hotel, wherever it is, Kelly's there. I'm here.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, all right.

[Tom Griswold]

But my left ear is the bad one, so. Oh, if she's talking to me. Thank you, Josh. Do we have that on tape?

[Willie G]

I can't believe you didn't make that joke. I can't believe you waited for him to make that joke.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you. So, yeah, I. So I have to then kind of prop myself up and do a spin so I can hear what she's saying.

[Christy Lee]

See, I wanna change because I sleep on my right side, and it hurts my ear so bad. I wanna change to the other so I can sleep on my left side.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, so you're actually having discomfort with those too?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I'm just having communication issues, which are already pretty bad.

[Josh Arnold]

Pretty rough.

[Tom Griswold]

I see. Okay, well, let's move forward here. Right behind Josh. Tell me what that is behind Josh.

[Christy Lee]

That is an aura flame aura frame. And it's got a beautiful photograph of our new Bob and Tom Christmas.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, there's Willie. Willie holding a birthday cake.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

There's me holding the Christmas sweatshirt.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I love this frame. And it continues to move and switch pictures. There's Pat doing whatever he does on stage with a guitar.

[Tom Griswold]

And then that's Pat with his birthday cake.

[Willie G]

That was such a ding for some reason.

[Tom Griswold]

And I loaded. I think that Pat. Is that in. That was our gig live in Iowa. I want to say. In any event, I can tell by.

[Josh Arnold]

Where I'm standing on a random stage.

[Willie G]

My grandma has one of these. She loves it so much. She does a great bit over Thanksgiving. It would show me. She go, oh, it's my favorite grandson. And then it show my cousin Cooper and She go, hey, Cooper, that's my favorite grandson. It's a great bit, by the way.

[Christy Lee]

Love that.

[Willie G]

If you want to have a little.

[Tom Griswold]

Fun with it, this really is a terrific present. And I what I didn't understand, I was able to load these photographs on at my house. And this thing was here in the studio. It's called, it's called the Aura Frame. Aura. We talk about a lot of stuff on the air. We talk about the Raycon earbuds and Omaha steaks and I believe in all these products. I love this thing.

[Christy Lee]

Thing, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

As soon as I realized how it worked, I bought one last weekend. There's, there's my Wordle. One day I took a photograph of it. The word that day was radio.

[Willie G]

It's, that is they sent us this.

[Christy Lee]

Carver matte frame and you could get one too and give it as a holiday gift. And there's a great deal going on right now. Don't wait. You can win the holidays with Aura frames for a limited time save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get 35 off Aura's best selling Carver matte frame. Just like the one sitting right behind Josh. It's name number one by wire cutter. Wirecutter stuff too. They don't give the number one ranking to just anybody. Use promo code Tom at checkout. That's Aura Frames.

[Tom Griswold]

Excuse me, there's a picture of Josh. There's a picture of Josh fishing. Are you happy now?

[Christy Lee]

Auraframes.com promo code Tom. This deal is exclusive to Bob and Tom show listeners. Frames sell out fast. Order yours now in time for the holidays. The Bob and Tom show mention us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a truly great gift. Coming up, we've got some great guests from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show, sponsored in part by Java House. The official coffee and refreshments of the.

[Tom Griswold]

Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

AI agents are everywhere, automating tasks and making decisions at machine speed. But agents make mistakes. Just one rogue agent can do big.

[Willie G]

Damage before you even notice.

[Josh Arnold]

Rubrik Agent Cloud is the only platform that helps you monitor agents, set guardrails and rewind mistakes so you can unleash agents, not risk. Accelerate your AI [e-mail].

[Willie G]

That'S R U B R-I K.com.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Thank you so much for joining us. There's Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance Company news desk.

[Mickey Sudo]

Hello.

[Josh Arnold]

Pat Godwin's there. Hello. Next to Jess Hooker, who's entered the room.

[Maria Bamford]

Hi, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi. There's Willie G. Hey, man.

[Willie G]

Good to see you, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

Good to see you. At the prize pick sports desk. Ace Cosby's there. Howdy. I'm Josh Arnold with the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. And Tom, should we get to some listener letters or.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, sorry. I think we can do that.

I just want to say Al Jackson and Willie G At the Dayton Funny Bone for some great live stand up comedy tonight and tomorrow. And I guess we forgot to get to our letter segment. What have you got? What have you got over there, Josh?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, yesterday you asked what foods would we eat in a competition? All right.

[Tom Griswold]

We had the great Joey Chestnut here. He's going to be doing a wings eating competition. By the way, Willie, he showed us his technique for eating wings. And it. I asked him and I. If. I said, do you watch video of your events to help you with your technique? He does slow mo. It's like a football player.

[Willie G]

Oh, he watches tape.

[Tom Griswold]

Watch his tape.

[Nick Weary]

That's cool.

[Willie G]

That makes sense.

[Tom Griswold]

But he has a technique involving.

[Christy Lee]

He pinches it and screws this.

[Tom Griswold]

It's Willy's tattoo.

[Willie G]

It makes me so furious.

[Nick Weary]

You do this.

[Willie G]

You do this to me all the time with Wordle. You did this with Dear Evan Hansen. You did this. I tell you about something and it does. It doesn't register at all. Five, ten times, and then another person tells you about it and you go, oh, there's this beautiful wing technique. Let's tell Willie all about this.

[Jackie K]

Sorry, that's dads across the board.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, absolutely.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Don't take that personally.

[Christy Lee]

We have that on slow Mo on our social media. It's pretty cool to watch it.

[Tom Griswold]

His technique. We do have Mickey Sudo coming in. We'll find out what her technique is, but there's a lot to it. You have to watch out for superfluous arm movements.

Yeah. It was just fascinating. In any event, we have a letter regarding this.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. You had asked us what. What foods we would go with.

[Jackie K]

What did you guys say?

[Josh Arnold]

Competition. Oh, no, you're fine.

[Tom Griswold]

I said spaghetti.

[Maria Bamford]

Oh, okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Christy, what did you say?

[Christy Lee]

I didn't say anything.

[Maria Bamford]

Oh.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Willie G]

Would you get to us yet?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they didn't get to us.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, we're just sitting in a corner.

[Christy Lee]

Pat and I are just kind of here.

[Josh Arnold]

And you still don't have an answer. You've got 24 hours.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, if you. If you. What do you think you could eat.

[Christy Lee]

The most of boy, I don't.

[Josh Arnold]

And Joey made it clear you want to enjoy it.

[Christy Lee]

I would take. You know, this sounds crazy. Soft tacos, because they'd be easy to eat, and I love tacos.

[Willie G]

Christy, that's. That's mine, too, actually, you know, I.

[Christy Lee]

Did not know that.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, what would they be filled with?

[Christy Lee]

Just beef, cheese, and lettuce. That's it.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. Are you going beef, too, Will?

[Willie G]

Yeah, I'll go. Or shredded chicken if I can get the ones that I love. Shredded chicken. And by the way, I have just to cut in. And I've seen him when I was a child, just me, him and Sam living together when we called the bachelor pad. We had these great family dinners every night, the three of us surrounding the kitchen sink. And my dad. My dad would house a plate of spaghetti in 12, 15 seconds.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, we believe it. We've seen him eat here.

[Willie G]

He does spaghetti. He cuts his spaghetti with the side of the spoon and then shovels it in. He's not even a twirler. He gets it all.

[Jackie K]

Twirl.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my husband doesn't twirl either.

[Willie G]

It's crazy to watch him do his thing.

[Christy Lee]

You guys, I got a twirl.

[Tom Griswold]

Twirling is far too delicate. I'm.

[Willie G]

I'm.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm there to show. Show that food who's boss.

[Mickey Sudo]

Go ahead.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, what would I. My. My food that I would do in a competitive. Oh, I would take the king crab.

[Willie G]

Dip it in the butter.

[Josh Arnold]

I'll clarify.

[Willie G]

Dip it again.

And just.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, but you got to crack it. That takes way too long.

[Maria Bamford]

Oh, no, no.

[Josh Arnold]

They're pre cracked.

[Christy Lee]

Okay, okay.

[Willie G]

If I'm allowed to do that.

[Tom Griswold]

That.

[Christy Lee]

All right.

[Jackie K]

Nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Jess, what would you want?

[Jackie K]

Oysters, hands down.

[Maria Bamford]

I ate 24 oysters last night at dinner.

[Jackie K]

Yeah.

I did.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I can't. I can't eat them.

[Josh Arnold]

They're maybe.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe homophobic. I just can't take that load of.

[Christy Lee]

No, thanks.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the word I'm looking for.

[Josh Arnold]

We're only homophobic if you eat them off a penis.

[Jackie K]

Yeah.

[Willie G]

I don't think it's homophobic. I do think you just told on yourself, though. I do think that you just gave up some information.

[Tom Griswold]

This is like that congealed wad of.

[Josh Arnold]

I see what you're saying. I love them, too, Jess. In fact, that's the one food that gave me three days of awful, incredible, debilitating food poisoning, and I've still gone back.

[Jackie K]

I'm so nervous every time. I'm like, this is gonna Be the time.

[Tom Griswold]

The only time I ever ate them. I ate them. I was up in Harbor Sprigs. My dad loved him. We ate them and an hour later, I was at Little Caesars, vomiting in the parking lot. Not from Little Caesars, but that's happened. My buddy Chip and I were over there. Cause they had a bar and.

[Josh Arnold]

Yikes.

[Willie G]

Wait, no. Cause they had a bar.

[Christy Lee]

You put a bar to the bar.

[Willie G]

It was the booze, it wasn't the oysters.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no. I hadn't even walked in yet.

[Willie G]

You're a liar.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I just gotten there. I'll be right in. Chip.

[Josh Arnold]

Brutal. Well, I chose oas. What did you choose? I'm kind of with the use shrimp. Yeah. Or pizza rolls. Pizza rolls. Yeah. Okay. That would have to be. They would have to be the perfect temperature.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, exactly.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah. Otherwise.

[Tom Griswold]

What have you got? What did they say over there?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I chose egg rolls because I love them so much and I know the crispiness could have, you know, tear up the mouth, whatever.

[Mickey Sudo]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, Anthony has written and he says there is a mung egg roll eating challenge that Hmong. Are you guys familiar with that?

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't that a slave population in China?

[Josh Arnold]

You know, I think at one time, honestly.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know if we honestly need.

[Christy Lee]

To touch on it.

[Willie G]

Dad, you are having your life here. You're just killing it.

[Josh Arnold]

There is some history there. I don't know.

[Willie G]

I thought that was a health care thing. Hmong, HMO and then ng. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jackie K]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

HMO says what?

He said there's a restaurant called Egg Rolls Incorporated. I'm already in.

[Tom Griswold]

If they're so good, they have incorporated.

[Josh Arnold]

Exactly. It's in one of our favorite towns, Appleton, Wisconsin. You eat 12 of their very large but healthy egg rol in a flavor of your choosing in under 24 minutes. So that's an egg roll every two minutes. I don't know that I could do it.

[Tom Griswold]

Is there a prize?

[Josh Arnold]

He said it was featured on man vs Food. He didn't say anything about a prize. But he did say if you fail, they put a picture on the wall of shame.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a lot of.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, but he said it's an idea. If you. If you're ever in the Appleton, I will absolutely be hitting Up Up Egg Rolls Incorporated.

[Tom Griswold]

We're gonna. We have a. Speaking of power eating, we're gonna have a couple of famed championship eaters in the studio with us. Also a great comedian, Maria Bamford, joining us a little bit later on. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. And this is the Bob and Tom Show. This portion of the Bob and Tom.

[Josh Arnold]

Show brought to you by Java House, the official coffee and refreshments of the Bob and Tom show win coffee for your office for a year. Visit bobandtom.com to find out how.

[Willie G]

Next role with Vernon Davis.

[Josh Arnold]

The transformative journeys of athletes, artists and entrepreneurs. We have very special guests.

[Willie G]

Ladies and gentlemen, Devon Franklin. Whether it's the movies I'm doing, whether it's TV shows, I just tap into the truth.

[Tom Griswold]

That's what I bring to every project.

[Josh Arnold]

Ladies and gentlemen, Isaac Keys.

[Tom Griswold]

People always ask, how did you make it to the NFL? How did you get into acting?

[Josh Arnold]

There's a story behind all of that. It's about whether you're willing to tell.

[Tom Griswold]

Your story or not.

[Josh Arnold]

Next role isn't about what's next. It's about why they do it.

[Willie G]

Next role with Vernon Davis.

[Josh Arnold]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[Tom Griswold]

Could be very tasty.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey there. It's the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee's at the Silac Insurance Company news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Happy to be here today.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, good. We're happy to see you. There's Pat Godwin.

[Nick Weary]

Hello.

[Josh Arnold]

Jess Hooker across the way.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi.

[Josh Arnold]

Next to Willie G At the prize pick sports desk.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, man.

[Josh Arnold]

Ace Cosby's there. Hey, I'm Josh Arnold of the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. And I know what you're all you're thinking, Josh, avocado Toast peaked in 2016 and it's been on its way out ever since. I totally disagree. I'm loving it this morning. There's Tom.

[Willie G]

It's really good.

[Tom Griswold]

It's very good.

[Willie G]

It's really good.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't strike me as an avocado toast guy, but that's okay.

[Josh Arnold]

I pretty much have an avocado a day. It's good healthy fats. You have it in the morning or I add it to cereal.

I think I'm using the wrong milk because it doesn't taste great. Ye. So if you have a milk suggestion.

[Tom Griswold]

For avocado cereal, we could actually, before we get to sports, we could actually segue into an important news story about things like avocados, in this case, the world of beets.

[Josh Arnold]

I love them, too.

[Tom Griswold]

And really?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Willie G]

I'll get behind them.

[Josh Arnold]

You might be able to soon. I. It took me a while. It took me until I was in like my 40s.

[Willie G]

I have been kind of having that. I'm pretty cool with cottage cheese nowadays. Yeah, that used to not Be a thing for me. It's. It's. Guys, since I've turn 30, I'm so lame. I want to buy a hat at every restaurant that I go to.

[Josh Arnold]

I had that phase.

[Tom Griswold]

It's.

[Willie G]

Oh, yeah.

As I get over, I'm starting to enjoy candy bars.

[Tom Griswold]

Just shifting into a whole different phase.

[Christy Lee]

Well, when you get to the Werther's, let me know.

[Tom Griswold]

As James Joyce said, life is many days. This will end.

[Christy Lee]

But how do you take.

[Tom Griswold]

These are phases.

[Christy Lee]

How do you take that jump Willie to try that cottage cheese after all these years?

[Willie G]

Honestly, it's funny because it's the opposite of like, oh, I'm turning into an old guy. It's all damn TikTok.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Cottage cheese is having a moment.

[Willie G]

Yeah. So now I made. I made like a chicken. I've been making shredded chicken. I got an instant pot. I think I'm a 60 year old man now. I don't know what happened, but I'm making shredded chicken with some rice and a little cottage cheese in there. Put in a little tortilla.

[Tom Griswold]

Before we get to the the beat story, I do want to mention this.

[Christy Lee]

Well, you just gave away a story.

[Josh Arnold]

He'd already mentioned beets.

[Tom Griswold]

I mentioned beets. This is. We were talking about eating how many eggs you could eat. Y. I think I could eat probably 20 deviled eggs. But that'd be half.

[Jackie K]

20, half.

[Tom Griswold]

So 10.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

You know what the world record is for eating eggs? It used to be held by Joey chestnut at 141 hard boiled eggs.

[Josh Arnold]

All right, boy.

[Tom Griswold]

So these are this. A guy named Josh Cottrell ate 143 hard boiled eggs in under four minutes.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, my God.

[Christy Lee]

They're not even chewing.

[Josh Arnold]

You're exactly right.

[Jackie K]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that would be.

[Christy Lee]

Be horrible.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, just thinking about it makes my ass hurt.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean.

That is brutal.

[Willie G]

And also, whenever you get hard boiled eggs, there's always, like, the one weird green yolk one. You're putting that back. You can't think about it at all. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Well, this is about the healthy qualities of beets.

[Christy Lee]

New research suggests drinking beet juice can help lower blood pressure in older adults.

[Josh Arnold]

I do that.

[Christy Lee]

Scientists at the University of Exeter have older volunteers drink a concentrated beetroot juice shot twice a day for two weeks. Their blood pressure went down, an effect not seen in younger participants. Experts say the benefit comes from the juice's high nitrate content, which can lower blood pressure and reduce the risk of heart disease.

[Tom Griswold]

I have two things I want to say.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

First, how come these stories. It's always something crappy like beets. Why isn't it ever. Oh, they find out that if you drink two shots of Jack Daniels every morning.

[Jackie K]

And that has its benefits, too.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. The one I'm looking forward to is the. You know, if you smoke cigarettes and eat coffee cake, you're going to lose weight and feel better about life.

[Christy Lee]

If you smoke cigarettes, you can lose weight.

[Jackie K]

That is the upside of that, too.

[Tom Griswold]

But the other thing about beets and I used to. I still have my juicer, but I kind of haven't used it lately. But I would.

[Willie G]

Oh, thank goodness. That thing ruined my life for a few years.

[Tom Griswold]

It's very noisy before Thanksgiving.

[Willie G]

Hey, you want to drink a bunch of celery? No, but I would.

[Tom Griswold]

I would use only a little celery. Primarily carrots.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, that's when his hands turned orange.

[Tom Griswold]

I was doing so much carrot juice. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

He looks like a Simpson.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I was drinking too much carrot juice. But if you, if you put beets in there. Beets and carrots together are good. And this is a warning. I am not making this up. If you drink beet juice, it looks like you're bleeding internally. If you use the facility at your home and look down.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, it's really creepy. So if. If you're new to the world of beets and you're trying to lower your blood pressure. Pressure. Your blood pressure may go up. When you look in the toilet and think, oh, dear God, I've got internal bleeding. They need to warn you about that. But I would always pretend that it was just the healthy benefits were because it was the blood of a virgin youth.

[Josh Arnold]

Whatever it takes, that's proven that it.

[Tom Griswold]

Helps your blood pressure. Right. It was at the Incas or the Aztecs that were good about drinking that anyway, so there's a little health tip for.

[Josh Arnold]

For you. Oh, good. Thank you.

[Maria Bamford]

I don't love them.

[Tom Griswold]

I love them, too.

[Josh Arnold]

And I drink the leftover juice. Yeah, I know it's not as much as they're saying there, but.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, you ever used a juicer?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I own one.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, they're great.

[Josh Arnold]

They are great.

[Tom Griswold]

I use mine this morning, but they're, they're. They feel. It's. To me, it reminds me of a chainsaw.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

They're kind of dangerous.

[Jackie K]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, they're not messing around.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. They're heavy. And when you put that and you think just what don't. You don't want to get your finger in that grinder gizmo. I'm just telling you a Little bit of a warning. Now, we have yet to go to the sports page, but do we have some more letters?

[Christy Lee]

I have a letter.

[Jackie K]

Sorry, we're not going to go now.

[Christy Lee]

Do you want to go to the sports page?

[Willie G]

No, it's fine.

[Tom Griswold]

I feel a moral obligation to read some of these letters. These people have taken the time.

[Willie G]

Lions 1, Jameer Gibbs, three touchdowns. Make it a good one, folks. How about that?

[Maria Bamford]

No, I'm not.

[Willie G]

No, I'm not mad at you.

[Christy Lee]

We've got plenty of time.

[Willie G]

Come on. No, let's not fight together. We have a common enemy. Let's get mad at the big guy.

[Josh Arnold]

Save your energy. Yeah.

[Willie G]

You did nothing.

[Josh Arnold]

You're gonna need it for him later.

[Willie G]

You did nothing wrong, Christy.

[Josh Arnold]

I apologize.

[Christy Lee]

This is from Mark in California. Hey, guys. Christy. Not only did we have those string icicles, we were talking about those. The tinsel has gone away for a lot of people. Our mom made us take each one off. My mother did this too. One by one, and save them so we could use them next year.

My mother did the exact same thing and she had this box, this special box, and she would lay them out one by one every year.

[Tom Griswold]

That's time consuming.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And tinsel, like 25 cents for a bale. But I think that's less popular than it used to be.

[Christy Lee]

They have this thing called Victorian tinsel that's kind of popular this year.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Willie G]

I will not give it up.

[Tom Griswold]

What does that look like?

[Christy Lee]

It's kind of crinkly. Like, it's hard to explain, but I.

[Willie G]

Just, I have this big dumb boy brain when I hear Victorian tinsel, I just go, man, I don't care. I, that's. I, that is not for me.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know what it is.

[Willie G]

I don't want to know what it is.

[Tom Griswold]

But I was saying that we were. Because we were talking about a new story yesterday in which a British company has a cat proof tree. Oh, okay. And it's an artificial tree and the bottom three feet are cut off so it looks like a pole with this little tree on top, which you could.

[Christy Lee]

Easily do at home if you wanted it.

[Tom Griswold]

It's pretty dumb, but we were talking about how tinsel, if you have a dog, you'll know that if there's tinsel around, eventually you're going to be doing that thing where you have to lean over with some rubber gloves and keep yanking a tinsel to get it all the way out of the dog as they have a nice festive poop.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, my dogs don't eat tinsel Right, right.

[Josh Arnold]

Most dogs he's got. He's never.

[Christy Lee]

Your dogs are crazy lazy.

[Tom Griswold]

Ms. Hooker, have you ever had your dog eat sidewalk chalk?

[Maria Bamford]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it's very common.

[Jackie K]

No, my dog just eats dog food.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

No, because the girls are out there in the driveway drawing stuff. It's really fun. And then they. And then they leave. They'll leave the sidewalk chalk and you walk by. Mr. Fletcher goes, oh, this looks interesting. And they eat it. Then they have a very festive poop about two days later.

[Josh Arnold]

Are undisciplined children and undisciplined dogs.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

My God.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Okay, now we got a letter here from Jim.

Jim is mad at me.

[Josh Arnold]

Why?

[Tom Griswold]

Because I pronounced the name of his town wrong again. It looks like Borodino. B O R O, D, I, N O. But apparently it's Bordino.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Then he goes on to say, thank you for reading.

[Josh Arnold]

Why would we know that?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Christy Lee]

I am Bortino.

[Tom Griswold]

And then totally bor.

[Josh Arnold]

Over here.

Sorry, we got it wrong, John.

[Tom Griswold]

Jim, I'm so sorry.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, Jim, I ain't got any.

[Tom Griswold]

And he goes, I want to thank Josh and Chip for defending me against Tom's delusions. What did he say?

[Willie G]

Josh, what did you say? It's fine. Just finish reading the letter.

I don't know what you said, but we might be off in Borodino right now.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. So Bordino. Sorry. And I forget what state that's in. Good.

[Christy Lee]

Jim will write you.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Jim, you gotta write back. I don't have the other letter we wrote Red, so. And that's sports. No. Coming up, we're going to check in with Willie at the Sporting Scene.

[Willie G]

We can.

[Tom Griswold]

We got it. We got a lot of other things going on right now. One of my favorite gifts, I was talking about how much I love the aura frame. I also love Omaha Steaks. And every year, I. I'll probably do a few more. This weekend, I go online and order boxes of Omaha steaks and send them to folks. All the comedians who come by like to send them steaks. And my brothers. And is he, though?

[Josh Arnold]

No, because he does. Hey, hey. We talked to that guy twice this year. I'll send him some ova. People I work with, people I see every day. Here's a Yo yo with my face.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you forgetting the pie?

Those Yo Yos, those Yo Yos, by the way, are collectible. And every once in a while, some of them, someone will send me something from ebay, where it's one of my classic Christmas gifts. Like the dog food bowls with my picture on it.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, but they all wear off.

[Tom Griswold]

Those are valuable.

[Josh Arnold]

Somebody took those and saw them on ebay.

[Nick Weary]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, you'd be amazed.

Three hours north.

[Christy Lee]

To get one of those dog bowls from a listener went to her house.

[Josh Arnold]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

To like confront and say, hey, why are you selling these?

[Maria Bamford]

Or no, he went and bought one.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I thought it was it. No, he bought one.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, you don't have to drive three hours. For Omaha Steaks, it comes to you.

Whether you're hosting for the holidays or sending an unforgettable gift, Omaha Steaks delivers the world's best steak experience.

[Nick Weary]

Gift.

[Josh Arnold]

Family and friends, but never co workers. No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Willie G]

Or children.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a second. You're going to get. Every Christmas I give you guys those delightful pot pies.

[Josh Arnold]

You do there? No, no. You do plenty, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

I guess steaks would be a little pricier.

[Josh Arnold]

You're very generous.

[Christy Lee]

You're fine.

[Josh Arnold]

Just, just teasing you a little bit because we love you.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I know you need. That's fine.

[Josh Arnold]

Gift family and friends.

[Tom Griswold]

Poor pot pie place is going to.

[Josh Arnold]

Go under.

Certified tender steaks. But every year I eat that pot pie, I go, you know, a steak will go good with this.

Juicy burgers, cozy and convenient, comfort meals and so much more. And now during their sizzle all the way sale, you can get half off everything. That's right. 50% off site wide at Omaha steaks.com plus Bob and Tom listeners, that's you. You get an extra $35 off when you plug in promo code BTS at checkout. Right now is the perfect time to save on delicious gifts and holiday hosting favorites. Plus plus orders placed by 6pm Eastern time. Those ships same day. Omaha Steaks offers unrivaled quality and variety and every bite is backed by their 100% guarantee. Don't forget to load up on their potatoes au gratin. They kind of look like domes. They're like these half dome, like potato things. They're not. I always, I assumed scalloped potatoes, that kind of thing.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

These are really special. They're like, like essentially a baked potato with cheese and some, some spice. They're unbelievable.

[Christy Lee]

Yum, yum.

[Josh Arnold]

I can't describe them. Well.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, I.

So they look like tennis balls, but.

[Josh Arnold]

They'Re not kind of.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's really great. Right now.

You have to do this. You have to save big on gourmet gifts and more holiday favorites with omaha steaks. Visit omaha steaks.com for 50% off site wide. And that is S T E A K S not S T A K E. It's not a, it's not a horse race.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Willie G]

Goodness.

[Tom Griswold]

Or, or something you'd put a tent up with. But thanks for the clarification.

[Josh Arnold]

That's their sizzle all the way sale. And for an extra $35 off use promo code BTS at checkout. Terms apply C site for details. That's Omaha Steaks.com promo code BTS at checkout.

[Tom Griswold]

You're gonna have to edit this one before you send it to our friends at Omaha Steaks. A lot of ad libbing in there.

[Josh Arnold]

They love me.

[Tom Griswold]

I'll be, I'll be sending it to my, my comedian friends. And by the way, the trick is make sure they're not on vacation when you send it. Hey, just got back from three weeks in Switzerland. There were some stakes there from two weeks. Okay, thank you very much once again. Coming up, some great guests and that would include comedian Maria Bamford, also the famous eater Mickey Sudo. As we continue talking about competitive eating for the holiday season. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show. Hey, Ryan Reynolds here wishing you a very happy half off holiday because right now Mint Mobile is offering you the gift of 50% off unlimited. To be clear, that's half price, not half the service. Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price. So that means a half day. You know, give it a try. @mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to 15 per.

[Josh Arnold]

Month required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks.

[Tom Griswold]

Busy taxes and fees extra. C mintmobile.com.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee's at the Silac Insurance Company news desk. Hello, Matt Godwin's there. Hi, Josh. Next to him, it's Jess Hooker. Hello, Willie G. At the Prize Picks sports desk. Hey, man, there's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Josh Arnold of the I Hate Steven Singer Sidekick Chair remote. Reminding you to visit Stephen Singer Jewelers atIhateStevensinger.com. find out why he's the most trusted jeweler in America and the most hated jeweler in America. Buy other jewelers. That's I hate stephensinger.com and there's Tom Griswold.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm going through some mail here. I'm going to read a couple of these for your dining and dancing pleasure. We have this one which says, dear Josh, sorry to Bother you at work.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

This comes to us from Bonita Springs, Florida.

[Christy Lee]

Bonita Springs.

[Tom Griswold]

What did I say?

[Willie G]

Bonito.

[Josh Arnold]

Bonita Springs.

[Tom Griswold]

It's like a burrito.

[Willie G]

Please don't do that.

[Tom Griswold]

Bonitas. Bonita.

[Christy Lee]

Bonita Springs.

[Tom Griswold]

Bonita Springs, Florida. Dear Josh, hello. I once met a man who spread old wives tales. He was a gynecologist.

I don't know why this was sent to you, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

Because he knows I'm a sucker for jokes like that.

[Willie G]

I love.

[Josh Arnold]

I love that.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you, thank you.

[Josh Arnold]

Old silly, right down the middle. Usually blue jokes.

[Tom Griswold]

And this one again, I'll read verbatim. It begins, sorry to bother you at work.

[Josh Arnold]

After I complained about it, they have to do it.

[Willie G]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Brendan in Syracuse writes, I saw Al Jackson. Hey. A couple weeks ago. Was incredible. I got a chance to meet him after the show. He treated me like we'd known each other for years. He's one of the nicest guys I've ever met.

[Christy Lee]

Met.

[Josh Arnold]

It's all fake.

[Tom Griswold]

We chatted about the buck. Is that a woman that wrote in Brendan?

And it just goes on to say how much he enjoys. So thank you very much. And that reminds me, Willie G and Al Jackson tonight, Dayton Funny Bone. Tomorrow night, Dayton Funny Bone. So go check out some live stand up comedy. Have some fun, forget about your troubles.

[Willie G]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Just for a few minutes anyway, huh? What do you think? Now, we have been promising to get to the sports page, Willie. We got some cool stuff. Yeah.

[Willie G]

Jameer Gibbs and the Detroit Lions have beaten the Dallas Cowboys to help their playoff chances. Gibbs ran three touchdowns and Thursday night's 4430 win. So Jameer Gibbs, fantasy owners, very happy this morning. Hey. Indiana coach Kurt Signetti has been here before. Twice his second ranked Hoosiers just like first ranked Ohio State for the first time in more than a decade and just the third time since the conference championship games became all the rage. The nation's top ranked teams will play for a title.

[Josh Arnold]

What sport is this?

[Willie G]

It is football.

[Josh Arnold]

I was lost.

[Tom Griswold]

It is football.

[Willie G]

I mean, that's a good question. If someone's listening to this five years ago and they're saying, hey, Indiana's playing Ohio State for the title. No one would have thought it would be pointable. Yeah, man, this is fun. Well, you guys, you know what? That's sports. So thanks. I'm glad. I mean, we can talk. Michael Jordan is a part of a NASCAR team and they're in a lawsuit. You want to talk about that?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Willie G]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

That's really weird.

[Willie G]

This one will just make him Mad. But the World cup draw takes place Friday.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, that's today.

[Josh Arnold]

And a lot of us kind of like the World Cup.

[Willie G]

Oh, really? Well, it's going to feature four debuting teams. Cape Verde, Curacao, which is a great alcohol. Jordan and Uzbekistan.

[Christy Lee]

They're. They're going up to 48 teams in the World cup next year.

[Willie G]

I didn't even know there was 48 countries. That's crazy.

[Christy Lee]

I know it is.

[Josh Arnold]

Most of them don't matter.

[Christy Lee]

They play a knockout round.

[Tom Griswold]

Um, still asking. Hawaii. Yeah. I. I would be lying if I said I. I can. I just can't stand watching soccer. I think it's incredibly boring. I played it in high school, but I just. It's just. I don't know. And obviously it's a big deal that the World cup is coming here. Did you. Did I give you the FIFA trophy story?

[Willie G]

No, I can check.

[Christy Lee]

That would be.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, the.

[Willie G]

I got one over here.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, the LEGO thing. Yeah.

[Willie G]

Lego's releasing a life size replica of the World cup trophy.

[Tom Griswold]

Trophy.

[Willie G]

LEGO teamed up with FIFA to announce the product that will launch the toy Browns. The toy Brands. Brands. Browns brands. Why am I an aunt from Wisconsin right now? The toy brand's first World cup line of products. Next year, the LEGO version of the trophy will be the exact same height.

[Josh Arnold]

It costs $24,000.

[Christy Lee]

It takes eight months to put together.

[Willie G]

No, it does. It has 2,000 pieces and it goes on sale for $200 in March 2026.

[Tom Griswold]

That's relatively small.

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah.

[Willie G]

So for the nerd that has a lot of money in your life, this is for you.

[Tom Griswold]

But now my son and your brother Sam. If you ever, ever been to Sam's house.

[Jackie K]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

There is not a horizontal surface that you can put anything on.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Because everything has something on it.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Maria Bamford]

He's a collector.

[Tom Griswold]

It's either cooking. He builds all the Legos and then.

[Christy Lee]

He keeps them together.

[Tom Griswold]

Nice. Okay, but I don't know, is he. I know he watches a lot of football. Does he watch soccer?

[Christy Lee]

Soccer.

[Willie G]

Anything that gives him an excuse to drink outside. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. You kidding me? I mean, if he. He should watch soccer because his house is a real messy.

Cute.

[Willie G]

Mean to your son. Yeah, Right up his alley.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the only soccer player I know.

[Christy Lee]

Messi.

[Tom Griswold]

That's alive. Pele. Okay.

[Mickey Sudo]

Pele.

[Christy Lee]

No, I know.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I just.

[Christy Lee]

I never heard of Beckham. David Beckham.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's true. Yeah. But he doesn't play anymore. Right. He just poses and shows his abs and tabs.

Didn't he just get knighted or something.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, he did very good.

[Tom Griswold]

But yeah, I just. I'm gonna.

[Josh Arnold]

Not a lot of people not be into it.

[Tom Griswold]

People are gonna pretend that they're loving it and I. I just don't.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, no, not, not everybody's pretending just because you don't.

[Tom Griswold]

Dave's gonna be attending those matches. Ice.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Willie G]

See, that's the joke. That's gonna bring the whole room together right there. Christy, remember earlier when we couldn't get mad at each other because we had to save ourselves at Josh's dividend? This is why we're here, folks. The NFL has mandated that playing surfaces for all stadiums will have to meet new enhanced standards by the start of the 2028 season. NFL field director Nick Pappas detailed the plan for a program that will provide each team a library.

[Tom Griswold]

He's got a brand new bag, by the way.

[Willie G]

Yeah, you know what? I don't like the interruption, but I loved that it's a great time. A library of approved and accredited NFL fields. The goal is to find fields that are as consistent as possible across all 30 NFL stadiums.

[Christy Lee]

Is that because there are more injuries? Is that the reason?

[Tom Griswold]

Remember the.

[Willie G]

I don't know. There was that muffed kick the other night. I wonder if that's gonna do it.

[Christy Lee]

They're blaming that on.

[Josh Arnold]

And that kicked him off in the stands.

[Tom Griswold]

That's gonna hurt.

[Josh Arnold]

It was tough to watch.

[Willie G]

Mr. Papa says the key pillars for a field are optimized playability.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm out.

As soon as anybody in a meeting and goes, I have three key pillars.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't that some kind of religious thing?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, well, a pillar of salt was. But in this case it's a architectural. More pillar.

[Willie G]

Yeah, they're just. They want to reduce injury and they're going to take a player feedback.

[Tom Griswold]

So.

[Willie G]

Yeah, again, that's. I love football and I think that's the most boring thing I've ever heard. So I don't know how you guys are going to react.

[Tom Griswold]

You didn't read the. They're adding a moat.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, really?

[Josh Arnold]

Where's that going to be?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I mean, this is going to just. These guys are sprinting for the end zone. They're going to slow down a little bit.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, they sure will.

[Tom Griswold]

Their gators in it if you want in Florida.

[Willie G]

I know you're being so silly, but a moat at the one yard line would change the game forever.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it sure would.

[Willie G]

And it's only on one side, so it only affects the team going that way. I mean, that you're going to really If I don't want to go against the moat for the first half.

[Tom Griswold]

What was the game a couple years ago where the, the field was so bad they blamed everything on the terrible field.

[Willie G]

Is that one of the international games maybe?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, there was Brazil.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it was dangerous. They've got. They want to have a consistent thing so these guys aren't getting hurt.

[Josh Arnold]

Or maybe it was Mexico City. It was something with me. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So, yeah, this is the thing that they're going to, you know, and they don't, they don't all have to be artificial turf.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I read a thing that. Oh, God. What is it for the Super Bowl. It's in San Francisco this year, right? Yeah, Santa Clara there. I don't have it in front of me, but I read this a couple days ago. They're growing the grass for the. That like 100 miles away. And this guy who's this turf expert flies out there every month to check it.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that's cool.

[Tom Griswold]

So they're going to. And then. But what's interesting is if, if San Francisco is in the playoffs, they're not going to put that turf down until after they're done with the stadium.

[Josh Arnold]

Makes sense.

[Tom Griswold]

And then. So it'll be a fresh set of turf for the Super Bowl.

[Jackie K]

Cool.

[Tom Griswold]

But it'll obviously real grass, right? I mean, mean, if you've seen those photographs of the wives of the players in the. In the stands, a lot of them are. That's some artificial turf, if you will. Above the waist.

[Willie G]

Well, if you have a field you want to repair, I think this guy could help you out. And I might not be able to make it through the sentence because I think it's so funny. An Englishman has broken the Guinness world record for the fastest garden shed.

[Josh Arnold]

The fastest garden shed.

[Tom Griswold]

Shed. Shed, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

So he's like motorized the shed.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, this is what bugs me.

[Christy Lee]

That's why he build a shed.

[Tom Griswold]

See, I thought.

I thought he took a shed.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, if he went into the bathroom.

[Tom Griswold]

He took an out building and then put. Made the car.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

But he did the exact opposite. So he builds this really fast car and then takes off the body and puts a shed on it. Do we have a picture of this thing? Yeah. There you go.

[Josh Arnold]

I love it. I love it. That's not bad. You don't like that, Christy?

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's kind of.

[Josh Arnold]

I was gonna give you a ride in that.

[Christy Lee]

Wow.

[Willie G]

The 16 year old grandpa.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, three little pigs.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, see, the reason Josh likes it, he's used to driving around with the hoe in the Passenger seat. That's.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, that's right.

[Tom Griswold]

A garden.

[Josh Arnold]

Typically they're in the trunk.

[Tom Griswold]

Originally I thought that was gonna be for go.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, is that.

[Willie G]

That's the joke. That was Pat's.

[Tom Griswold]

Used to drive it around with a hoe in the passenger seat.

[Willie G]

I am.

[Josh Arnold]

That's mean. That's mean to do to you, but not you.

[Tom Griswold]

But I think we've established for Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, we've established.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Willie G]

It's a real team effort in here. Well, you guys, I'm so happy to tell you this. Oh, my goodness. That's sports.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Willie G]

We did it, folks.

[Josh Arnold]

Folks, I like that garden shed. Motorized garden.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Willie G]

I think it's fun.

[Tom Griswold]

It looks kind of like a.

[Willie G]

It's got a V8 engine.

[Tom Griswold]

Delivery. It looks like a delivery band.

[Josh Arnold]

I like the colors.

[Willie G]

Also, the guy's a 61 year old grandfather, which I like that detail that he's just got. He's gotten so bored. He does not want to talk to his grandkids. He's making a shed and it's.

[Tom Griswold]

It's made of wood.

[Josh Arnold]

He made it for the grandkids.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Willie G]

That is. That's a nicer way to look at it.

[Christy Lee]

You can't see out the windshield. I think that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

I believe you have to stick your head out. Out like they did.

[Tom Griswold]

Like Charles Lindbergh. Yeah. Well, that would be funny.

It says at the end of the article he's. He's making it street legal.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, good.

[Tom Griswold]

So they must be adding. Adding some windows, I'm guessing. But it's kind of funny.

[Josh Arnold]

Don't you like when wackos. You can see them coming.

[Mickey Sudo]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

How fast was the guy going?

[Willie G]

Oh, man, I gotta.

[Tom Griswold]

I was really quite.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, really?

[Josh Arnold]

And I like that there's a record.

[Christy Lee]

For this and it's not very aerodynamic.

[Willie G]

Oh, you know, I should have read this for sure. I got cut off. But it goes. Was 123.43 miles per hour.

[Tom Griswold]

That's serious.

[Willie G]

That has to be wrong.

[Josh Arnold]

That's insane.

[Tom Griswold]

Whoa.

[Willie G]

That has to be kilometers per hour, right? Did we just. Do we translate that incorrectly?

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's all the wood would fly.

[Josh Arnold]

It's mph, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. That's the thing.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, it doesn't seem like it would stay together. Yeah. Yeah.

[Willie G]

That's Brian Cade.

[Tom Griswold]

So this is a. This is. They call it a shed vehicle.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

A guy in Chicago made a shed aquarium.

[Willie G]

Look at that.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, he did.

[Willie G]

That's how you do it.

[Josh Arnold]

People don't know that started off as. As a little shed and they Just kept expanding.

[Tom Griswold]

Two goldfish.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, that's right.

[Tom Griswold]

And those goldfish are still alive.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's. You can still see those gold.

[Willie G]

The Shed family. I mean, they did so much for Chicago. Almost as much as the Lakeshore family. I mean, they just named that street right after the Lakeshore family. Danny Lakeshore, Eric Lakeshore.

[Tom Griswold]

And it was. Was Dan Ryan a good guy?

[Willie G]

It's a real guy. And also his grandkids, a comedian, my friend Maddie Ryan.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, his expressway way blow. It gets cursed a lot.

[Tom Griswold]

That Dan Ryan, that's. That's like. It's like having a really bad disease named after you. I'm stuck on the Dan Ryan.

[Josh Arnold]

That son of a. I've been stuck on there so long, I watched three innings of the white sex.

[Tom Griswold]

I could have been an umpire. Moved.

[Josh Arnold]

The pope. Loved that joke.

[Tom Griswold]

Josh. The stadium was right there, you see. Yes. Between advertisements. Between advertising. Advertisements for lawyers.

[Willie G]

So long. They changed the name from Comiskey.

[Tom Griswold]

Comiskey sounds like a bowling lane. You see that?

Well, thank you, Willie. Once again, Willie G. And Al Jackson are going to be in Dayton this evening and tomorrow evening at the Dayton Funny Bone for some great live stand up comedy. Christy Lee, what's coming up in the news?

[Christy Lee]

Well, we have the color of the year. We have weird foods and drinks that are mentioned in Christmas carols.

[Josh Arnold]

Color of the year better be wide again.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I have a question.

[Josh Arnold]

I have a question.

Hey, sir, we don't need you in here.

[Christy Lee]

All right? You're not far off.

[Tom Griswold]

Last year it was mocha, right?

[Christy Lee]

Yes, it was.

[Josh Arnold]

I didn't care for it.

[Willie G]

I'd imagine you would.

[Josh Arnold]

Get that guy out of here.

[Tom Griswold]

You know how they get that mocha, don't you? You take one. You got to stop.

[Willie G]

Everybody stop. Did you see how we all just united? I mean, we never agree again.

[Josh Arnold]

We don't. We know his ability to take something terrible and just make it so much worse.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, you're welcome.

[Willie G]

It's so, guys, I'm really proud of us that we all got involved and we stopped that.

[Josh Arnold]

We just got that guy out of here.

[Christy Lee]

We'll be back.

[Tom Griswold]

This thing about food, this answers a couple questions I've always had.

[Christy Lee]

All right?

[Tom Griswold]

And you know, you sometimes think of a song as saying one word and it's a different one.

[Maria Bamford]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

This is about the words. You hear of names of foods in old Christmas songs, and I never really. I have no idea what that is.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, interesting.

[Tom Griswold]

We're gonna find out what a couple of them are anyway when we return to the O'Reilly. Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Just gotta get a hold of us. Call, text or email.

[Josh Arnold]

Get all the contact information you [e-mail].

[Tom Griswold]

This is the Bob and Tom show.

And Doug. Here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug. Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us. Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty Liberty.

[Christy Lee]

Liberty.

[Tom Griswold]

Liberty Savings Fairy Unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Co. Affiliates excludes Massachusetts Tales coming up.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee's at the Silac Insurance Company news desk. Hi, Pat Godwin's there.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi, Christy.

We know that you're excited. We're all excited because some of our favorite people are in the building.

[Christy Lee]

They sure are.

[Josh Arnold]

There is Jess Hooker.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi.

[Josh Arnold]

Willie G. At the Prize Pick Sports desk.

[Willie G]

Hey, download the Prize Picks app today and use code Tom and get $50 bonus credit instantly in lineups when you play. $5. Must be present in certain states. Visit prizepix.com for restrictions and details.

[Josh Arnold]

Thank you, sir. There's Ace Cosby. I'm Josh Arnold at the I Hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. There's Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

I know why I just thought of this, but when the code word is tom, it's obviously T O M. When I was a kid, there was a shoe store called Tom McCann.

[Christy Lee]

Sure. Of course.

[Tom Griswold]

T H O M. And it really bothered me.

[Willie G]

The Time York way.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why. Why the extra H?

[Willie G]

It makes sense, Thomas. You shorten it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. But it's just the Thomas shouldn't have an H in it. That would be Thomas. This is why it's so difficult for me to understand the English language even though, even though it is my. It is my first language. It makes no sense.

[Josh Arnold]

Josh, you know, when one listens to you, they wouldn't guess that English was your first.

[Willie G]

Some sort of weird alien dialect.

[Tom Griswold]

I acknowledge that and I accept that. It's my understanding that we're going to be talking with the great comedian Maria Bamford. The best. And a special bonus. Yeah, special bonus surprise coming up. Jackie K. Will be joining us as well. And right now we have a special bonus. I've been told to look up at the big screen in the room and it's. Oh, it's. It's Jeff Oskay, comedian.

[Josh Arnold]

It's thinking, Jeff. Hi, everybody. I'm doing my senior picture pose.

I'm coming to you from the Failed Dimension news desk. We give you a lot of the news each week. We don't give you all the news. So I'm here to give you the news that we failed to mention.

[Tom Griswold]

Here's Jeff Oskay with failed to mention news.

[Josh Arnold]

Jeff, I hate to interrupt you so quickly, but is it casual Friday?

[Mickey Sudo]

Yeah, yeah, it's.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't give an F. Friday.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

This week's Failed Dimension is brought to you by a very, very controversial sponsor. Slacks. Who doesn't need a nice pair of slacks because pants suck. Make your mama happy. Put on a nice pair of slacks. And we're also sponsored by Wild Willy's pre filled Waterbed Warehouse. Okay, you buy. We feel good luck getting that heavy sucker home. Wild Willie's Refilled Waterbed Warehouse.

[Tom Griswold]

Welcome back to the show, Willie.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. A man had a lighter removed from his stomach after it was there for 30 years. More impressively, the lighter still worked. What? You failed to mention. The man now goes by the name Sparky.

We learned that pickleball is good for your mental health. What you failed to mention until 93 year old Bernardine Huffington spanks you 5 to 1. Then see how good your mental health is.

Apparently, type 2 diabetes can now be linked to the size of your buttocks. Whoa. Well, you failed to mention. Ladies, if you got compression socks and a big behind, you may want to get checked out.

Contractors found a case of live grenades under a staircase on a home they were remodeling. What? You failed to mention. The homeowners almost got a free new basement.

A large cache of counterfeit children's toys were stopped by customs. A were worth millions and millions of dollars. Well, you failed to mention it was the CNC toy that tipped them off. Yeah, the pig went. Put your hands up or we'll shoot.

Okay, you didn't like that? I got another one. I don't know that we like that you went with the pig. Yeah, I know. Okay, let's try this one. A large cache of counterfeit children's toys were stopped by customs worth millions of dollars. What? You failed to mention. Oh, come on. Scroll, scroll, scroll. These Hot Wheels are actually Hot Wheels.

Or these GI Gyms suck. Yeah, GI Jim was. He was a coward.

[Christy Lee]

He had a white handkerchief.

[Josh Arnold]

And finally, a man was arrested after leaving a bottle of his urine on the counter of a store. Well, you failed to mention. They had to get rid of the penny, didn't they? Now it's take a pee, leave a pee.

This is the news that we failed to mention.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you, Jeffrey.

[Josh Arnold]

Jeff.

[Willie G]

Oscar.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I don't know if I would have got dressed up for those either.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. I got a. I got a technical issue here.

[Christy Lee]

What's your problem?

[Nick Weary]

Usually?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, he mentioned. He mentioned slacks.

[Jackie K]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And I bought something online not too long ago, and it was from a. I bought a shirt from this company called Peter Millar. Yeah, you ever heard of them, Christy? Are they fans? Oh, those are real fancy.

[Willie G]

Yeah, Fancy.

[Christy Lee]

Peter Millar. Never know.

[Tom Griswold]

It's just a. It's a black down. It's. No, no, it's a black golf shirt.

[Christy Lee]

Okay, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Do I do my collection of 50 of them? Don't get so defensive about it.

[Josh Arnold]

Black golf shirt. How dare you.

[Christy Lee]

My bad.

[Maria Bamford]

Buttons don't go all the way down.

[Christy Lee]

So.

[Tom Griswold]

So I. As you know, if you buy anything online at Christmas time, you're going to be getting every day.

I'll get something from, you know, from Billy Reed, from Lands End, from all.

[Josh Arnold]

These places I've never heard of. I am a slob.

[Tom Griswold]

In any event. So I got. I got one from the. And it's. It's Malar. M I L L A R. Yeah, I thought it was Peter Miller. And then I. I looked it up. Up. It's pronounced Malar, which makes sense. But here's the headline. There's a picture of a guy wearing a pair of trousers, and it says the Go to pant. To gift Pant.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they're pants.

[Nick Weary]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

People call them pants. They don't call them slacks.

[Josh Arnold]

No, but the singular pants.

[Tom Griswold]

Pant.

[Josh Arnold]

Pant is interesting.

[Tom Griswold]

The go to pant.

[Jackie K]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, really?

[Jackie K]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I feel like I see that.

[Josh Arnold]

I do, too, but it seems odd.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

One pant and you have two pants.

[Tom Griswold]

No, two pants would be four legs. A pair of pants has what?

[Josh Arnold]

A pant.

[Tom Griswold]

Why do you call a pair of.

[Jackie K]

Pants a pair of pants?

[Tom Griswold]

But it's only one. I am wearing a pair of jeans today.

[Josh Arnold]

I think the legs, that's what the pair.

[Jackie K]

Yeah, a pair of legs.

[Tom Griswold]

So then a pant would be for a guy that only has one leg.

[Josh Arnold]

Is it the case in the ad?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, maybe I should look.

Is Peter Millar a former pirate?

I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't. I. I'm saying pants, I'm not doing.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, we all say pants. But that's.

[Tom Griswold]

But this is the headline.

[Christy Lee]

This is a British company.

[Willie G]

Yeah, I've seen the pants.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Christy Lee]

It's a British company.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

I just. Oh, I like your pants.

[Tom Griswold]

I like. I like their shirts. So I've bought a few of them online.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, it's shirt.

[Tom Griswold]

I like their shirt. Okay, this is complicated.

[Josh Arnold]

It is complicated.

[Tom Griswold]

I know this is pretentious and stupid and dumb, but I'm. I mean, it's. It just. I thought it was really odd.

[Maria Bamford]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

The go to pant to gift.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I mean.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, Steve, I got you a pant.

[Josh Arnold]

That's odd. Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Okay. Now, speaking of being confused, by the.

[Josh Arnold]

Way, a golf shirt should Never cost over 19.99.

[Jackie K]

Oh, well. Bad news.

[Christy Lee]

Peter Millar.

[Jackie K]

It's going to be a lot more than that.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, they feel so good on your nipples. Josh. What?

[Willie G]

You're getting so weird with age because you started weird, too.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I was going to say.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. They make very n. When he's at.

[Josh Arnold]

100, he's, like, normal.

[Willie G]

Could you imagine? It goes back the other way.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Willie G]

You've been kind of Benjamin. Buttoning your way into weirdness all along.

[Jackie K]

None of us will be here to see it.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe someone can explain why. Pant or pants. And then who's. I say trousers all the time.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, of course you do.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't say slacks.

[Christy Lee]

You're weird.

[Josh Arnold]

My mom would say slacks growing up.

[Willie G]

Yeah, I like slacks.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

Still say it.

[Willie G]

Oh, yeah. Give me a pair of slacks, man. You kidding me?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, how about don't you say just jeans?

[Nick Weary]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Wearing a pair of jeans. Okay, good.

[Josh Arnold]

My goal in life is to never wear. Wear slacks or paint or trousers.

[Christy Lee]

You don't. You don't use dungarees.

[Tom Griswold]

Honest to God, Willie, you were. You were pretty little before you. My dad died when you were pretty young, but I. I don't think my father ever once ever wore a pair of blue jeans, really? Ever. Always slacks. My father was one of those guys. Saturday morning, he'd come down with a coat and tie on.

[Jackie K]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Sit in the living room, they watch football like that. He was fairly. He was just a formal guy. That was his.

[Christy Lee]

All right.

[Jackie K]

He had a routine.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

He was one of those guys that if my mom made him a. A drink at night, she'd take out the. Well, I won't even see the unfortunately named sure Shot glass. It's not.

[Josh Arnold]

It's not unfortunate.

[Christy Lee]

You think it's.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, exactly. Now you can't say don't.

[Willie G]

Don't even get started over there.

[Josh Arnold]

The measuring shot glass.

[Tom Griswold]

So, you know, and she. She wouldn't. My mom wouldn't just free pour, you know, she would take the thing and measure it.

[Josh Arnold]

That's very precise. He would give her five across the eyes.

[Tom Griswold]

If it wasn't perfectly know he had polo, he'd hit her with his cane.

[Willie G]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, we're gonna find out the pantone color of the year.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, we are exciting.

[Tom Griswold]

Also, we have some great guests coming in.

[Josh Arnold]

And the Deftones color of the year. Black again.

Sort of an emo.

[Tom Griswold]

And we're gonna find out what some of these weird words of for food in Christmas songs mean. I think the only one that might know might, might be Ms. Hooker.

[Mickey Sudo]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Because you're, you're the food person.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

So we'll, we'll see what happened.

[Maria Bamford]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

When we return to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show. Thanks for listening to the Bob and.

[Josh Arnold]

Tom show this morning. Even though we're not too much to look at, you can also watch the show on our YouTube channel.

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee's at the Silac Insurance Company news desk. Hello, there's Patrick Godwin.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

Willie G. Sitting in at the prize pick sports desk.

[Willie G]

Good morning.

[Josh Arnold]

On his way to the Dayton Funny Bone with Mr. Al Jackson tonight and tomorrow, there's Ace Cosby. Howdy. I am Josh Arnold, the I hate Stephen Singer sidekick chair, reminding you that you can save big on holiday favorites with Omaha Steaks. Visit Omaha Steaks.com for 50 off site wide and for an extra 35 off, use promo code BTS at checkout. And Tom, we are joined by one of our absolute favorite people on the planet.

[Tom Griswold]

She's the lovely Maria Bamford, comedian. And, Maria, I know this is radio, but I'm going to try to describe your glasses. Yes, they are wonderful. They're sending me back to the 50s, bejeweled.

[Maria Bamford]

You've got to make something shine on your face as you grow older. You know, some people say, oh, that's. Something's over there.

[Tom Griswold]

Now.

[Josh Arnold]

Are those considered cats?

[Tom Griswold]

That's. That was my question.

[Maria Bamford]

Cat's eye. Yes, cat's eye. Lots of jewels. I did not make them myself.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah. My friends have an eyeglass shop.

[Tom Griswold]

So now do you have Mrs. Lefler, who I'm sure you know was my librarian at Mercer Elementary School in Shaker Heights, Ohio. Mrs. Lefler had those. The chain, yes. And then she would. She would drop her glasses. I didn't understand.

[Josh Arnold]

Lower her hair.

You would instantly fall in love.

[Willie G]

You'd get an A.

[Tom Griswold]

That Year now. Now in my world, slightly little hipper. I have the cord versions of those from my sunglasses.

[Willie G]

Oh, yeah, he looks really cool in them too.

[Tom Griswold]

But do you like the guys that take their sunglasses and park them on the back of their hat backwards?

[Willie G]

I think sometimes it's a practicality thing. I don't think they're shooting for a look with that necessarily. Will you do it? It's not my look. No, I just go, you know, push it back in the air.

[Christy Lee]

I'm afraid you'll lose them. How would you know if they fall off the back of your head?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I've got the string thing, but you have to wear all the time or.

[Maria Bamford]

Yes, now I can't see. Yeah, I didn't used to, but now I'm fetified.

[Tom Griswold]

Woo hoo.

[Maria Bamford]

Every year gets better.

[Christy Lee]

It really does.

[Tom Griswold]

And you, you are now married.

[Maria Bamford]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And I'm trying to remember which of you met your man who's a fine artist.

[Maria Bamford]

Yes, we met on Oki Cupid. There was only. We only had a couple miles between us. Geograph. And that seemed very sexy. And Los Angeles, such giants. I mean, sometimes you can date somebody and you know.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you dial that in? Can you put. Is it like, like if I look for a car, sometimes I'll look for like some exotic thing and I'll go, you can. There's a little thing you can put in. Within how many miles you're willing to drive.

[Willie G]

Yeah, yeah.

[Maria Bamford]

For dating you could do that too. Under five. Under five miles.

[Tom Griswold]

You're kidding me.

[Christy Lee]

Well, it makes sense. In cities like that, you can't get anywhere.

[Tom Griswold]

Mean. Yeah, but what if Mr. Wright's six miles away? You're gonna miss Maria. You may have the wrong guy.

[Christy Lee]

You're gonna have to move Mr.

[Josh Arnold]

Right here. He was Mr. Better have a Motorcycle.

[Tom Griswold]

And he is. His name again is Scott Marvel Cassidy.

[Maria Bamford]

Scott Marvel Cassidy. He's originally from Philadelphia.

[Tom Griswold]

He's a great. He's a great painter.

[Maria Bamford]

He's great. Oh, thank you. I'll. I'll tell him you said that. That's so wonderful. Yeah, we, you know, we work on it.

We got something off Instagram. For every one negative interaction you have with your spouse, you gotta have five positives. So if Scott says, maria, why'd you load the refrigerator like it's a prank show?

[Christy Lee]

Then.

[Maria Bamford]

He'S gotta make up for it by saying you have a monkey face and little monkey feet, monkey hands and a monkey body and you're a monkey. It doesn't have to be genius.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Maria Bamford]

You know, but you Know, and I criticize him. I say, oh, can you please get your dirty band aids into the freaking.

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry.

[Maria Bamford]

Into the sorry. Into the I'm so sorry. Into the trash can. And then he said, you know, then I'm gonna make up for it by saying, you know, but you are filled with blood and you have a rabbit face every time I request it. And you're a dancer and I like your dang in my wet plop.

And that is radio safe.

[Tom Griswold]

That's fine.

[Maria Bamford]

Damien, the wet clock.

[Tom Griswold]

I thought I heard everything. That's, that's great. Maria Bamford is our guest. She is a distinguished comedian.

[Maria Bamford]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you get uptight about the comedienne versus comedian thing? I, I, I, I just would like to work.

[Maria Bamford]

That is my main hope. Yeah, I, and yeah, sometimes people say worried about the comedians who have been canceled, but they seem to be working more than ever.

[Josh Arnold]

Like, I just feel like canceled comedians selling out arenas.

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah, no, exactly. I think they're fine. But yeah, I know that people have said people are worried about money, you know, the past elections, people are worried about earning, but rich people worry about money. I mean, have you ever heard of extremely wealthy person? They're talking about it all the time. We would love to give, but we've got our two girls in private school and we're getting the kitchen and the bathroom done on our home in the palace seats. Oh, I'm sorry. Stop listening to this romance novel. I don't care about any of the characters. Please let me know when there's been a murder.

[Tom Griswold]

That may have been the quickest high quality summary of contemporary culture I've ever heard. That was great. Maria Bamford is so funny. And Maria, this is, this is a news story that I think you might enjoy. Perhaps not.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

It's about Christmas songs and the food that is mentioned in Christmas songs that. I don't know what these, some of these are.

[Christy Lee]

Christy, do you have you've ever sung we wish you a merry Christmas and wondered what figgy pudding might be? Mental floss as an explanation.

[Tom Griswold]

Does anybody know?

[Christy Lee]

Yes, I know because I was just in Britain and had it so. And it's spelled F I G, G Y. Figgy.

[Tom Griswold]

Maria. You know what that is?

[Maria Bamford]

Well, it's got a fig and a pud.

[Tom Griswold]

Is it a wet pudding?

[Christy Lee]

Pudding. Oh, yeah. Or Christmas pudding, as they call it in Britain, which is just another word rather for dessert in Britain.

[Maria Bamford]

Sounds frank.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, is.

[Josh Arnold]

So.

[Tom Griswold]

It'S a stupid question. Is we wish you a merry Christmas. Was that written by an Englishman?

[Christy Lee]

Must have been.

[Tom Griswold]

Or English woman.

[Josh Arnold]

You would have thought. You'd think we wish you a happy Christmas then.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Willie G]

They go for something over there.

[Tom Griswold]

So it's figgy pudding.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. It's like, we know what you're trying to do.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no, there's. There's a. There's a great song that we play called Fat Like Santa. And there's that one line where he goes, bring me the figgy put. I've always thought he was saying friggin.

[Josh Arnold]

He is. It's a joke. Oh, yeah. Are you serious? Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't know that.

[Josh Arnold]

He's. He's making a joke on figgy pudding by saying, bring me some friggin pudding.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I never. I had no idea.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

That's like the one joke in that song.

[Tom Griswold]

Josh. It's a great song that brings joy to many. But thank you for ruining it.

[Josh Arnold]

It's kind of brings joy to many. I didn't ruin anything.

[Christy Lee]

It's kind of like a cake with some dried fruit. They usually have like rum or some kind of liquor. A brain.

[Willie G]

Is it kind of wet?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, it's moist. It's a dry cake. It's cake.

[Josh Arnold]

It's like closer. Like a brush and wet cake, please.

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah. And another. It's like another word for the wet plop.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, exactly. But is this one of those. Those things that nobody ever does?

[Christy Lee]

You can get it anytime in Britain.

[Tom Griswold]

But I don't know about the chestnuts roasting on an open fire. We. No one ever gets that.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

And we remember, we tried it a couple years ago and it wasn't great.

[Christy Lee]

It wasn't very good.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, I certainly like the imagery and the sound of it all.

[Christy Lee]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. What's the other one?

[Christy Lee]

What about wassail? Here we come. A wassling or whatever.

[Tom Griswold]

I never got that.

[Willie G]

Wassling is.

[Nick Weary]

Yeah.

[Willie G]

I thought we did that in high school choir and was like a caroling over there.

[Christy Lee]

It's a spiced mold wine.

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Be substituted with apple cider and clove and ginger.

[Josh Arnold]

Huh?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Willie G]

Did you say mulled wine?

[Christy Lee]

Mold. M U, L L. Mold.

[Tom Griswold]

Mold. What does that taste like?

[Willie G]

It's like warm.

[Christy Lee]

It's a warm wine that has spice in it.

[Tom Griswold]

Do people do this?

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Christy Lee]

Make it in your crock pot. Leave it in the crock pot if you're having a party and. Yeah, it stays warm.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I think we had it at some party or something. Yeah.

[Maria Bamford]

Put it in your driver's side console.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Buckle that. That wine in.

[Tom Griswold]

Buckle that one.

Maria. I. I'm assuming that you have a lot of peculiar habits.

[Christy Lee]

Why would you assume.

[Jackie K]

How dare you.

[Josh Arnold]

Tom.

[Willie G]

Yeah, thanks for coming by, Maria. We hope you come back.

[Nick Weary]

I mean.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you drink alcohol?

[Maria Bamford]

Yes, sure. I'll occasionally have a. A drinky poo.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, how about. Are you a meat eater?

[Maria Bamford]

Yes, I'll have a. A shank.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm wrong on both. I'm wrong on both counts.

[Maria Bamford]

I'm a ham hock. Yeah, no, I. But I am. I am progressive. I'm a pinko commie liberal. So please, heads up, YouTube your comedy before saying it. I am. I'm gonna have some things to say that'll be upsetting.

[Josh Arnold]

You don't wanna be hit with a red hat.

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah. Oh, my Lord. There's no need.

[Tom Griswold]

I would have pegged you as a possible vegan.

[Maria Bamford]

Well, cause sometimes people like, they see the face on the thing, they go, oh, it's someone just like me. She's blonde.

[Jackie K]

So we must have all the same thoughts.

[Maria Bamford]

And.

YouTube it. YouTube it before you go out. Don't spend 50 bucks bucks on a comedy club when you're gonna make yourself miserable. Invest with watching our last one on the list.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, sorry. What are we going?

[Christy Lee]

Sugar plums. The sugar plum fairy, obviously.

[Josh Arnold]

In the Nutcracker, I always picture gumdrops. That's just what I picture.

[Christy Lee]

One recipe for sugar plums calls for plums, apricots and figs that are mixed with nuts, powdered sugar and a host of spices along with honey, sugar and salt to crack create a fruit and nut ball. Jeez, there's a lot going on there.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a. That's chaos.

[Jackie K]

Yeah, makes me sick.

[Tom Griswold]

What do you do traditionally, food wise, for Christmas? Do you do a pumpkin pie or cookies or.

[Christy Lee]

We do cookies. We making cookies at our house is a big deal. They like to ice, you know, the icing and the little sprinkles and decorating and all that.

[Tom Griswold]

This sounds complicated.

[Christy Lee]

Make a beef tenderloin or something. Nice.

[Tom Griswold]

This sounds complicated. I wonder if I should try it. Is it possible to do homemade candy canes?

[Christy Lee]

Oh my God, anything's possible.

[Willie G]

It's gonna stink. Just go get candy canes.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, just go buy them. Your kids probably don't even eat them.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm just wondering. It sounds like a challenge.

[Maria Bamford]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Would you roll them?

[Maria Bamford]

I mean, oh my God, it sounds like you're trying to take somebody's job away from them.

[Jackie K]

Those little elves, hard working candy cane.

[Christy Lee]

You would use a little piping bag and do the icing around it, I think. I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. I'M just curious.

[Christy Lee]

I just make your life more complicated.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, when you were a kid, did your mom and dad hang candy canes from the tree?

[Christy Lee]

Absolutely.

[Josh Arnold]

A couple of them.

[Christy Lee]

I still do.

[Tom Griswold]

It has that. I was. I think that's gone. I think we were talking about how that tinsel stuff's gone out of style.

[Christy Lee]

I'm sorry. I still do it.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't be sorry.

[Christy Lee]

12 of them every year. Nobody eats them. I throw them away.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, they. I. I hate candy canes, but I like. I mean, no one wants to eat them, but they're cool.

[Christy Lee]

They look cute on the tree.

[Tom Griswold]

Just curious. I think it's one of those traditions. We were talking about the fact earlier, Maria, that tinsel has gone out of style. You know that metal stuff.

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah. No, that's why I hang peppermint bark. I just take large chunks of peppermint bark and I just kind of place it right. Right within the tree.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you have a dog? Do you have a dog?

[Maria Bamford]

I have two dogs.

[Tom Griswold]

I know you did. Do you have a new one?

[Mickey Sudo]

Pug.

[Maria Bamford]

And a pug Chihuahua. A pow, if you will. Yeah. So they. Yeah, we don't put anything you can eat on the tree because they would.

[Tom Griswold]

Because they will eat the tinsel.

[Maria Bamford]

Oh, they'll. Yeah, they'll eat anything.

[Tom Griswold]

And then you. Once you have a very festive excretory event a couple days later, typically.

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah, they like ceiling tile.

[Christy Lee]

My kids were home over the holidays, right. From Chicago, and they left.

[Josh Arnold]

They ate the tinsel?

[Christy Lee]

No, they left two everything bagels on the counter. My dog, let me tell you, you think garlic breath on a person's bad. Let your dog eat a couple of everything bagels.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, Lord. Really? But they loved them. All right, now I want to tell you about SimpliSafe. Mr. McGee, several years ago, came in one Monday morning and said, over the weekend, I installed in about half an hour a security system. It was from Simplisafe, and they have developed a lot of stuff since then. And right now they've got the best deal ever@simplisafe. 50% off any new system. Go to simplisafetom.com see what I'm talking about? About Simply Safe wins all the awards. Of course, you can install yourself or have them come out and do it for you. And you can get, of course, the typical alarms on whatever you might want. Windows, doors, smoke detectors, et cetera, et cetera. And they've also got some special AI powered cameras that are available that can spot a potential threat outside. And they can actually talk to the let's use the word lurker would be burglar out there and alert them and tell them, hey, the cops are on the get all the details by visiting simplisafetom.com and this is their best offer of the year. And it's this month. Only knock 50% off any new system. And they have a variety of systems. You can pick the one that works best for you and cherry pick which types of alarms, et cetera, that you want, cameras and the like. Remember, there's no safe like SimpliSafe. Visit simplisafetom.com and lock in that 50% discount by doing it this month. Now, coming up, we're gonna hang out with Maria Bamford. Jackie Cation's gonna join us in a minute here. Also, a Mickey Sudo, world champion eater, will be joining us because there's a special championship eating event going on. Yesterday we talked to Joey Chestnut. By the way, we have a bunch of stuff posted on our various social media platforms and YouTube, et cetera. You can see in slow motion Mr. Chestnut's text technique for shoving a flat. What do they call it? A flat.

[Willie G]

Yeah, flat.

[Christy Lee]

Flat.

[Tom Griswold]

The flat chicken wing.

[Willie G]

How to eat it quickly pinch and push method.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. It's very interesting. Also, you can see a picture of Ms. Bamford with her lovely glasses on.

[Jackie K]

Yes.

[Maria Bamford]

Oh, my God, yes. Please watch the aging process like it's a flip. A flip book.

[Tom Griswold]

And once again, you'll say, oh, I bet she's just like me.

[Jackie K]

Yeah.

[Maria Bamford]

And then you'll say to yourself, wait a minute, I think I'll go Google and see what the what, what kind of material she does. And then you say, oh, no.

[Tom Griswold]

This.

[Maria Bamford]

Isn'T what I want to see at all.

[Tom Griswold]

Once again, we are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios.

[Jackie K]

I must cancel my tickets now.

[Tom Griswold]

This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show. Live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee's at the Silac Insurance Company news desk with a reminder.

[Nick Weary]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Thanks to Java House, the official office beverages of the Bob and Tom Show. You can go to javahouse.com and get 25% off right now. Your first order with promo code bobandtom.

[Josh Arnold]

Thank you, my dear. There's Pat Godwin.

[Nick Weary]

Hello.

[Josh Arnold]

Willie G. At the Price Pick sports desk. Hey, man, Ace Cosby's there. Hey, I'm Josh Arnold, the I hate Stephen Singer sidekick chair, and Tom. We're joined by a wonderful person and comedian.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, thank you very much and that's a good Distinction. Because not all comedians. Indians are a wonderful person.

[Maria Bamford]

Oh, well, we know this, but they are still on tour. That's right. Unregistered sex offenders. Everybody come out. Everybody come out tonight.

[Christy Lee]

Watch your back, ladies.

[Maria Bamford]

Or should I say girls? Yeah, that's right.

[Nick Weary]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Maria Bamford is here with us. Now, before we get back to Maria, we were talking about food.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And Christmas food. I did not. I did not know what. I almost said. Friggy figgy pudding. Which we found out is some weird dish that I don't think anyone ever really eats.

[Christy Lee]

Like a spice cake.

[Jackie K]

No figs.

[Tom Griswold]

What holiday has the best food?

[Josh Arnold]

Thanksgiving.

[Tom Griswold]

Thanksgiving.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, Fourth of July is close, too.

[Maria Bamford]

Halloween.

[Josh Arnold]

Are you a candy?

[Maria Bamford]

I like candy.

[Tom Griswold]

A lot of comedians have merch out there. We have a story coming up about a musical artist who has an unusual merch. Do you have any merch? Do you sell.

[Maria Bamford]

Make your own merch, okay? I don't have time. Take a piece of masking tape. Write comedy on it. Slap that on a sock.

[Tom Griswold]

Twitter gap. Get a T shirt now. I know. Willie, you and Al Jackson are in Dayton at the Funny Bone this weekend. Willie, are you selling your lighters this weekend?

[Willie G]

I will be selling lighters. Sorry. That's so funny. I sell lighters. Yeah, I'll be selling lighters.

[Tom Griswold]

But they're special lighters.

[Willie G]

Yeah, they're good. They say there's a weed leaf with a red X through it. They're the not for weed lighters because we don't want anybody doing anything dangerous with those lighters.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you indulge in. You live in California, one of the legal marijuana states?

[Maria Bamford]

Yes. Oh, I would, I'm sure if I. I'm on a lot of psychiatric meds. I am bip. I have the bipolar and so that. It's not good to take those meds. It's also not good to have drinks, but I do have an occasional cocktail.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, now, Pat, for some reason I thought I was incorrect thinking that Maria might be a vegan.

[Willie G]

It's because you judge people.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. You do.

[Willie G]

You like to read a book by its cover?

[Tom Griswold]

You sure did. Yeah.

[Maria Bamford]

You totally took me down.

[Tom Griswold]

You're. You're peculiar in the nicest way.

[Christy Lee]

Petite.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. You're slender. And I was just thinking that. But, Pat, you were a vegan there for quite some time.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, about four or five months, maybe.

[Maria Bamford]

Oh, my God.

[Christy Lee]

That's a long time.

[Tom Griswold]

Committed to the bit.

[Maria Bamford]

Have you gotten to the double stuffed Oreo stage of veganism?

[Josh Arnold]

They are vegan, actually.

[Jackie K]

Yes, I know, I know.

[Nick Weary]

That's What?

[Maria Bamford]

I was vegan for about a half hour.

[Willie G]

Yeah.

[Maria Bamford]

And I was like, like what? What is vegan? And oreos are vegan.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Willie G]

Unfortunately, I was vegan during Christmas.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Willie G]

But I am entertaining a Mediterranean diet.

[Josh Arnold]

Now and things are a lot better. Yeah, but last year. You want to hear about last year?

[Christy Lee]

I sure do.

[Josh Arnold]

Here we go. Maria.

[Maria Bamford]

Yes, please.

[Willie G]

Turkey is made of tofu steam, not broccoli. Almond milk and cookies for Santa.

[Josh Arnold]

I'll give you you the recipe.

[Willie G]

There's no eggs, no butter, no sugar. They're taste free. It's a vegan Christmas for me.

[Josh Arnold]

For me.

[Willie G]

The cauliflower's roasting and stinking up the place. I'm so hungry I could eat the carrot off frosting. Pass the black beans and rice.

[Josh Arnold]

It won't be a silent night. It's a gassy vegan Christmas for me.

Asparagus tainted kisses underneath the mizzle dough.

[Willie G]

You know what I miss is gravy.

[Josh Arnold]

On my mashed potatoes. Look at the snowy weather.

[Willie G]

My jacket's made of pleather.

[Josh Arnold]

It's a chilly vegan Christmas for me.

For me.

[Willie G]

Have a soy nog. Try my nut roast.

No beef, no dairy. I'm gonna live forever. If I don't shoot myself by January.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm starving. I may eat the needles off of Christmas tree tree.

[Willie G]

It's a strict vegan Christmas. Steak and lobster off my wish list. It's a plant based vegan Christmas for.

[Josh Arnold]

Me until New Year's Eve when I might crack and have some prime rib as a tasty snack. But for now it's a vegan Christmas on me.

[Maria Bamford]

Wow.

[Jackie K]

Great.

[Tom Griswold]

But not anymore.

[Christy Lee]

Nope.

[Josh Arnold]

How do you like the Mediterranean diet? I enjoy it.

[Tom Griswold]

And what is that? I don't even know.

[Willie G]

He just eats €3 a day. He's losing plenty of weight.

[Josh Arnold]

My buddy lost 40 pounds in three months and I was like, how'd you do it? He goes the Mediterranean diet like, oh, I didn't know oic was a Greek word.

[Willie G]

I think mo is the sea God.

[Tom Griswold]

Now. We were talking about merch and a lot of comedians got there. They will. They will sell. Willie's got his lighters tonight and tomorrow in Dayton at the funny Bone. Maria, is merch free? You got to make your own. That's fine.

[Jackie K]

Yeah.

[Maria Bamford]

Well, because it. It can be half your earnings is to. If you sell merch. It's great. It's great. But I. I'm not very good with customer service.

[Tom Griswold]

And there's a. In the world of comedy. And this is a little before your time. Maria. But there was one legend.

[Maria Bamford]

Is it Craig the love master in the.

[Jackie K]

In the.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Maria Bamford]

He was deep cut. Deep cut.

[Josh Arnold]

He was renowned for merch. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It. The guy sold these eyeballs.

[Christy Lee]

Vic Dunlop.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you remember Vic Dunlop? He's no longer with us. Vietnam veteran.

[Josh Arnold]

Funny guy. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And real funny. But he would do the. The last, what, two, three minutes of his act. He would pitch these.

[Josh Arnold]

They looked like suntan.

[Tom Griswold]

The glasses.

[Maria Bamford]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

But they were eyeballs. And so it just looked like he had these crazy eyes popping up.

[Tom Griswold]

And he would sell them. I mean, he'd sell several dozen after each. I think they were. What were they, two bucks. Everybody basically would buy them on the way out the door. It was really funny. Made it. He would really make a lot of cash. And then one day he got a.

[Christy Lee]

That's the key. Cash.

[Tom Griswold]

He got a phone call from the irs. Apparently he was buying. You know, I guess they went to Mr. Fong's house of fun and they said, who's this guy that bought 75,000 pairs of eyeball glasses?

[Maria Bamford]

It's the internal realization service.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But this is a merch item that is very odd in the world of pop music. And this lady is more famous in England than here.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. According to People magazine, pop star Lily Allen is selling risque shaped merchandise to promote her latest album. The British singer songwriter offering a limited number of USB drives shaped like butt plugs. That container album, West End Girl.

[Josh Arnold]

Weird.

[Christy Lee]

The thumb drives feature a black and white polka dot pattern similar to the designer jacket she wears on the COVID of her album. And the product's description warns, quote, this product is a novelty USB device intended for data storage only. It's currently available for Pre order at 32.99.

[Josh Arnold]

So they're saying just because it's shaped like a butt plug, it's not. It's not necessarily meant to plug your butt.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

And she's. The album is called West End. West with the South End, I think. Do we have a picture of this thing? There we go. Can you see.

[Josh Arnold]

Can you see it?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I can see it.

[Maria Bamford]

Oh, look at that.

[Christy Lee]

Is that a light bulb?

[Tom Griswold]

Is that. Is that businesswoman?

[Maria Bamford]

That's a businesswoman.

[Tom Griswold]

And that's.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a starter butt plug, by the way.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Oh, really?

[Willie G]

It's approachable for sure.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, it's. You know what the word. You know what word comes to mind? Doable.

[Maria Bamford]

That's a pre. Poppers.

[Tom Griswold]

I have a question. Are our butt plugs like wrench sets?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, dude.

[Tom Griswold]

Where they go.

[Josh Arnold]

They're like gauge piercings. You go.

[Tom Griswold]

You buy them by the. So do you buy the whole kit and then you gradually.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't. I buy them piecemeal.

[Tom Griswold]

You're the. You're the first one. You're the first one that shouted out, starter. Well, if you buy them piecemeals, you have to walk in and say to the guy at the desk, say, listen, Roger, last week I bought the seven gauge.

[Josh Arnold]

Right? Right.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm gonna pop up to nine. Can you think I can do it?

[Christy Lee]

You're gonna have to guess yourself.

[Maria Bamford]

Let me try it on.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow, that is. Well, I mean, it's getting her a ton of publicity.

[Christy Lee]

Exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

Literally made the international news. That was in People magazine. So that. I guess People's taking a step down if they're covering English rock stars in their butt plugs.

[Josh Arnold]

It seems she's pretty renowned here.

[Maria Bamford]

Is she?

[Willie G]

You're the one that's always complaining about how physical media has gone away. Look, it's coming back.

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So this thing is a storage. A digital storage device, though.

[Josh Arnold]

I know a lot of laptops and stuff. You can't even. They don't even have the USB port.

[Willie G]

Yeah, you gotta buy the dongle.

[Josh Arnold]

Whole thing.

[Maria Bamford]

Dongle.

[Tom Griswold]

So, Maria, Maria, technically you could. You could take one of your very fine live appearances, record it and put it on one of these things and sell them after the show.

[Maria Bamford]

Jesus Christ.

Mama doesn't have time.

[Christy Lee]

You have to insert your butt plug into your dongle. That sounds terrible.

[Willie G]

It does, it does.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Maria Bamford]

He ordered a Diet Coke from the bar.

[Tom Griswold]

That is crazy.

[Josh Arnold]

That's. That's about the extent.

[Tom Griswold]

So I don't understand how this works, though. You could. You really could put a, like the. A CDs worth of content on this thing.

[Willie G]

Yeah, for sure.

[Tom Griswold]

How weird.

[Willie G]

It's a thumb drive.

[Christy Lee]

You don't have any thumb drives.

[Jackie K]

Oh, thumb drive.

[Maria Bamford]

That's.

[Jackie K]

What.

[Christy Lee]

You've never had a. You don't have a thumb drive, did you?

[Tom Griswold]

Every once in a while, it's all, someone will hand me one. I'll have to take it somewhere, give it to PJ and say, what. What the hell is this thing? Okay, but is that still a thing?

[Josh Arnold]

No. I mean, not. Not nearly as much, no. So it's a. Definitely a unique merch item.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but would anybody want to buy them?

[Josh Arnold]

I guarantee she's selling them by the gross.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Willie G]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Okay, pre order. How many she makes? As many as she can sell.

[Willie G]

How many of the Taylor Swift vinyls did you buy for the little girls? You know, people want physical media.

[Tom Griswold]

There you go.

[Willie G]

People are kind of excited to buy something to support their favorite artists.

[Maria Bamford]

Look at friendship bracelets.

[Willie G]

Oh, very nice.

[Maria Bamford]

I like stuff.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. We're hanging out with Maria Bamford. And are you a swifty?

[Maria Bamford]

I. I think she's great. I just get these for free from people who come to my shows. A lot of people have gone to my shows are people who have been through the psychiatric institutions. And so you get a lot of friendship braces. 1. This is my favorite. This person made me a friendship bracelet where they had run out of vowels at the psych ward, and so they just put.

[Josh Arnold]

Excellent.

[Maria Bamford]

That's healthcare for you. No more vowels.

[Tom Griswold]

Maria Bamford event. I used the word peculiar earlier, and I meant that in the absolute vices way. There is no one, anything like you. You are so amazing, Maria, and thank you for coming. And we're going to also meet your friend Jackie Kasian.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Maria Bamford]

Jackie Cashin, who is a fantastic mega headliner in her own right.

[Tom Griswold]

She's been. Oh, she's been in here probably 10 times.

[Maria Bamford]

She's fantastic. She's opening and it's. We're gonna have tons of fun. And then. Yeah. And then. Unless, of course, you make a mistake and you don't know that we're slightly. We're very progressive in our beliefs. And then you might get mad.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, different strokes. Christy Lee, what's coming up?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, we have the color of the year. That's upsetting quite a few people. We have.

[Tom Griswold]

If you're. By the way, if you're concerned about the. Something as dumb as the color of the year, you really need to get a life. But. Well, I actually have some of the previous. Do you remember what the color of the year was last year?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, some mocha thing.

[Tom Griswold]

Right. And then it was like a couple years ago, it was blue.

[Christy Lee]

And Yeah, I mean, they're always a. There's only so many colors, so they're a shade of.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, but they're. There are like, if you go into a paint store, there are a hundred different shades of everything.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

But they have to name that, and it's all about getting the right color. What were you saying the paint store was out of last year?

[Christy Lee]

That. No, the. Like in 2021, you said it was ultimate gray or whatever that color was that became the color. Like, still, if you go into a brand new house right now, a lot of the builders are using like an ultimate gray.

[Tom Griswold]

Really? Life isn't depressing enough? You got to paint your room gray.

[Christy Lee]

Gray was it, man, Everything was. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

This is. This is part of my effort to keep you guys down.

I know Maria sometimes is struggling. She walks in here, I'm more depressed. Hey, Willie, what's going on over there?

[Willie G]

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[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much, Wilbur. I should point out Willie is going to be on stage this evening and tomorrow evening, Dayton, Ohio at the Funny Bone with Al Jackson. That'll be great. We're going to come back and mix it up a little bit. Have some fun. Also coming up a little bit later on, Mickey Sudo, world champion eater, is going to be our special special guest. We'll learn more about techniques for eating chicken wings because we all need to study this. This is something that's really important. Contemporary culture. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

Want to share a letter or comment?

[Tom Griswold]

Our email is bobandtomobandtom.com.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey there, it's the Bob and Tom show. Live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, Christy Lees at the Silac Insurance Company news desk.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello back.

[Josh Arnold]

Godwin is ensconced in the performance room. Hey, Josh. There's Willie G at the prize pick sports desk.

[Willie G]

Morning.

[Josh Arnold]

Ace Cosby across the way. Hey, I'm Josh Arnold at the I hate Steven Singer sidekick Chair. And, Tom, we're joined by two absolutely delightful people.

[Tom Griswold]

We've been speaking with a comedian, Maria Bamford.

[Maria Bamford]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And she's on the Wham Bamford thank you, ma' am tour or something. And then we have.

[Maria Bamford]

Okay, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

So sorry. I think. I think I'm really irritated. Yeah. And then jackiecation is here. It rhymes with vacation.

[Jackie K]

It does. Or it's alliteratively. Anyway, it's right there.

[Tom Griswold]

Vacation. You realize that you've just bumped Godwin into the back room. I don't know if you can see him behind you.

[Christy Lee]

I think he looks great in that room. That lighting is just amazing.

[Tom Griswold]

It makes him look. It makes him look like he's got a super Superman blue hair.

[Josh Arnold]

He'd look better in my room.

[Jackie K]

You know, gravitas to him. It's great.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's nice. Makes him look like a serious man. Very good, very good. Now, now we have a bunch of stuff we have to get to, but before we do, I'm. I was distracted during the break because Maria Bamford's husband is a great painter. I love his stuff. And I got. I went down the rabbit. Rabbit hole. There's one here of. It's entitled Maria Taking a Nap.

[Maria Bamford]

Yes, there's one. Yeah. Here's what happens. My husband doesn't. I don't like to sit still. So what he did is he got a bunch of mannequins that kind of look like me and put. You know, and then I dress him up and then he does portraits of me as a mannequin, but it's also me.

[Jackie K]

Oh.

[Maria Bamford]

Anyways, if you don't get it, maybe you're not thinking hard enough.

Well, I guess you're stupid.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Or that's a great excuse for him to have some mannequins in the closet.

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah, sure. Mannequins.

[Tom Griswold]

He's a terrific painter.

[Nick Weary]

His name.

[Tom Griswold]

His name is Scott. They call him Scott Marvel. Marvel Cassidy.

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Like, they call him that because that's his name.

[Jackie K]

I mean, his parents gave him a middle name of Marvel. I think it's awesome.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

No, but when Maria mentioned it earlier, she said it so quickly. Oh, Scott Marvel Cassidy. I want people to. I want him to check this guy out. He's terrific. It's really, really good stuff. It's kind of like a hyper realism, whatever you want to call it.

[Maria Bamford]

Real life. He paints from life. So he doesn't do it from photographs. He just paints for hours and hours and hours. It's very. It's. I find it really beautiful and very proud.

[Tom Griswold]

Does he like it if you. If he's halfway through something or whatever. Are you allowed to walk around and look at it and say something?

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah, sometimes he'll. I. I get an invite, but, you.

[Jackie K]

Know, like, come to the studio.

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah. I just. I don't know. I don't like people looking at my stuff, you know.

[Tom Griswold]

Does he ever criticize your comedy? Halfway through a bit?

[Maria Bamford]

No.

That'S not a thing.

Mama's bringing home some bacon.

[Tom Griswold]

Has anyone ever cast you as a. You'd be great as a Bond villain?

[Maria Bamford]

Oh, I think I'm past. Past that.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I don't think so.

[Jackie K]

Not villain.

[Maria Bamford]

Villain. Oh, villain. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. Here's the other thing. Do you know what acting is? It's 14 to 17 hours a day. Day.

[Jackie K]

No, no, no, no.

[Maria Bamford]

Stand up one hour. Good night.

People don't know what. Oh, I want to be an actor. Do you want to stay up for 24 hours in a row and then have to come back in three hours?

[Tom Griswold]

You get your own. You get your own trailer. Oh, boy.

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah. As you. Yeah. You barely live a. It's. I don't know. I found acting monstrous.

[Tom Griswold]

But you'd be. Be good. You'd be very good as a villain.

[Jackie K]

Would you do it if it was a voiceover?

[Maria Bamford]

Oh, yes. I love any kind of voiceover. I'm very interested. Anything under five lines, also interested. That means only about five hours on set. Very. That's awesome. Yeah. Good.

[Tom Griswold]

And Jackie, what's the latest with you? What's happening?

[Jackie K]

What is happening? Oh, I. I just did an album and gonna do a special and the last one was called Staycation because we were all home. And then this one's called Altercation because there's gonna be a fight.

And I'm gonna try not to. I'm gonna try to keep my temper. It's all about me trying to keep my temper.

[Tom Griswold]

Now who's. What is your living situation? My living situation? I know you had. You had a famous iguana that is no longer with us.

[Jackie K]

Young Tiberius. 23 years.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Jackie K]

23 years.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow.

[Jackie K]

Yeah, that's a.

[Christy Lee]

Is that a good life for an iguana?

[Jackie K]

It is. Because when I got together with Andy Ashcraft, he had. Had the iguana for about seven.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Jackie K]

And I said, how long do iguanas live? And he said, about 10, 10 or 11. And then at around 10 or 11, I said, how long do iguanas live? He's like, 15, 16. And then at around 15, 16, I said, how long do iguana slave.

They can live up to 25 years and. And.

To crash the. Like the other iguanas that were in that same litter or creche mates or whatever they were, they died almost immediately because it turns out to have an iguana is a bit of a project and you have to. But Andy's really good with animals, so. But his mom moved in with us about three years ago. Oh, and I know I'm working.

[Tom Griswold]

How long does a mama live?

[Jackie K]

Mother in law live.

TikTok.

But she brought a dog and a cat and we had a dog. We got a dog during lockdown and so. So we live in a 966 square foot house with two dogs, a cat, a mother in law and we're stacked like fireworks.

[Christy Lee]

Oh my.

I can't imagine.

[Jackie K]

But she's a great. I mean, I love her dearly. She's one of the nicest people. I don't know if you've ever tried to be on your best behavior for three years.

But all three of us are doing pretty good.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, that's gonna crack at some point, you know.

[Jackie K]

Oh, it's cracked a couple of times. But then we all regroup.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Jackie K]

Like once a month we all get together for a big craft night in the kitchen to put her pills together and that's a hit.

But the dog and the kittens. So many. Yeah, so many animals. And I'd never had any pets before. She was in the hospital and they have. Andy and his family has had so many pets. So she's in the hospital, she's in so much pain. She said to her, she son, if I were a dog, we'd put me down. And my husband, her son said back to his mother, we would have already done it.

So yeah, they, they, they know things. And like, like probably, what was it, eight, nine months ago, her dog got. The dog a beetes right. Got doggy diabetes and went blind. And since I never had a dog before, I could not stop crying. And I, I was like, are we gonna have to kill him? And the two of them were like. They laughed in my face and said, well, first of all, absolutely no one puts it like that.

Second of all, no, he will become like a little Roomba. He's blind. He's not an idiot. He will figure it out. He will just become. And so it came to pass. But we went to vets. I had never been to a veterinarian before. Cause Tiberius, if you have an iguana, you don't go to the vet. You have an iguana until the Iguana dies.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, that's right.

[Jackie K]

And he held his little paw when he died. It was very sweet. Yes. And then we did something illegal in Los Angeles and buried him in the backyard. I guess you're not allowed to do that.

[Tom Griswold]

Not.

[Jackie K]

No. But. But it's because people don't know how deep to dig.

[Maria Bamford]

Well, and why is love a crime?

[Christy Lee]

Exactly.

[Jackie K]

Right. Andy knew that you had to bury the animal deep cuz you don't want the coyotes having iguana carcass.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Jackie K]

And so he's. And he's buried so many animals that he just kept digging. He just kept digging and digging and digging.

[Tom Griswold]

So are they all in that same backyard?

[Jackie K]

No, no, luckily it. It's his dad. His dad.

[Tom Griswold]

His dad's buried in the backyard. First.

[Josh Arnold]

First.

[Tom Griswold]

You're doing the countdown. You're doing the countdown on his mom.

[Jackie K]

My dad is 88 and he's. When he went. He was driving around Milwaukee looking for a deal on his own funeral. Because my dad's a big sales guy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jackie K]

And so he's just going to different funeral homes just to hear the pitch. And my brother was like, we're not going to a new funeral home, dad. And my dad's like, if I could save you $200, you might.

But he's always said that he. This is. He's like, he's always, always been. He won't. The way he talks about his death, he's like, just stick a bone up my butt and give. And let a dog drag me into the woods.

[Tom Griswold]

My father.

[Jackie K]

Classy guy sometimes. Classy. Classy guy.

[Maria Bamford]

Oh, and her dad also paints.

[Jackie K]

Oh, he does paint. That's right. Go to my Instagram and have an opportunity. Everything's a hundred dollars. Somebody asked me during lockdown, they were like, would your dad paint me a Batman? And I said, For $100, he'll paint you whatever you want. And so I did it. And he. He doesn't. Somebody wanted him to paint a Godzilla. Like, I've commissioned over a dozen.

[Maria Bamford]

I got one. It was of my parents who have since passed with. A dragon. No, a horse. A horse dragon or.

[Jackie K]

Yeah, it was the. It's the horse.

[Tom Griswold]

Are they any good?

[Jackie K]

Skeleton.

[Christy Lee]

Let's take.

[Nick Weary]

Yeah, they are good.

[Maria Bamford]

What's good?

[Tom Griswold]

The paintings.

[Maria Bamford]

Well, I mean, I'm saying on an. On a philosophical level, what is good?

[Jackie K]

My dad would like you to just say yes.

[Maria Bamford]

Yes.

[Nick Weary]

Okay.

[Mickey Sudo]

There you go.

[Jackie K]

They're excellent. They're okay.

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah. And he had a hor. A nightmare horse.

[Jackie K]

The nightmare horse. Because Maria was like, hey, I have this picture of my parents. Will you draw this picture of my parents with that? Because when I was a kid, I found his. One of his first paintings, and it was a skeleton of a horse and then a bunch of Romans. And I was like, what was that? And he goes, I woke up and I painted my nightmare. Jackie. I said that that horse is crazy. But the. The.

[Maria Bamford]

I asked to have the horse next to my parents.

[Jackie K]

Right. She wanted the nightmare tableau. And he knew exactly what I was talking about when I said that I.

[Tom Griswold]

Want to see something.

[Jackie K]

And she paid 100 bucks.

[Tom Griswold]

So did your dad ever settle on a funeral place?

[Jackie K]

He's just going to go to Mol, where we always go south, walking Wisconsin.

[Tom Griswold]

Not two pallbearers in a truck.

[Jackie K]

Strike him into the woods, call him day.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a good place.

[Jackie K]

Throw him in a lake. He hopes to put the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

[Maria Bamford]

You can get somebody off, kind of like off the beaten path. My dad died, and we. We. He died at a hospice unit, so. But my sister had wanted to have like a Irish wake or whatever at the house, but you can't get them deliver a dead body to your home.

[Jackie K]

Oh, well, it has to either stay where it is.

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah. Or you. Or it goes directly to the. The mortuary. So we. We got a guy and a guy had a flat bag of truck, and he got. Got my dad's little body, like. And we had to carry my dad's body back into the house. And at that point, he was very stiff, so it was like. It was like carrying a couch.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Maria Bamford]

And at one time. I don't know where I'm going with this story.

[Tom Griswold]

Just keep going. I'm loving it.

[Josh Arnold]

No, please continue.

[Maria Bamford]

We had to lift him. If we're like. He was clonking his head. Yeah. Scattered up.

[Jackie K]

Yeah.

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah. And poor.

[Tom Griswold]

Was he on a cot or something?

[Maria Bamford]

He was on a cot, and it was kind of a rolling thing. And Scott, the guy who had the car or the truck, he kind of looked at my husband was like, you're gonna help me take this in. And Scott's like, no.

[Tom Griswold]

The dead body.

[Maria Bamford]

The dead body. Yeah.

[Jackie K]

And I'm not.

[Maria Bamford]

I'm not weirded out by the dead. I don't. I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

You're unmoved.

[Maria Bamford]

I moved. I was standing with my dad.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you put him on the couch?

[Maria Bamford]

We put him on a bed. Put him on a bed. And then we covered him with, you know, so that he. I mean, he looked nice.

[Jackie K]

Yeah.

[Maria Bamford]

I look nice. And then. Then it's like everyone can see. I, I don't know. I thought that was really nice to be able to see the person that also that they're psychologically, that they're gone.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you put, put clothes on him?

[Willie G]

All right, come on, come on.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, I'm, I told you he.

[Jackie K]

Was wearing like my father was a never nude.

Never was he nude.

[Tom Griswold]

I, a friend of mine went to a recent one and it was at a very reputable, very large funeral home and he was on a sort of a slab with a, with a sheet, you know, just his head, head was exposed. Elderly gentleman, a slab cab. Yeah. I'm not kidding.

[Maria Bamford]

Oh, and that's because maybe they wanted to have a natural.

[Tom Griswold]

Who knows? Maybe it was, yeah, maybe they were gonna bury him in with Jackie.

Yeah. We are going to return. I'm surprised we're gonna be allowed to to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show sponsored in part by Java House.

[Tom Griswold]

The official coffee and refreshments of the Bob and Tom show show.

One up on a couple minutes.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom Show. Thanks so much for being here with us. We're live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee is at the Silac Insurance Company news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Hello, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

There's Willie G at the prize pick sports desk Man Pat Godwin's in the performance room.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello.

[Josh Arnold]

Ace Cosby's there. Hello, I'm Josh Arnold of the I hate Stephen Singer sidekick chair. And Tom, we're joined by a couple.

[Tom Griswold]

Of our favorite comedians joining us in the studio. I look over that way, I see Jackie K. Hello. Who is that? Rhymes with vacation, by the way.

[Jackie K]

Sure, sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Jackie, good to see you. During the break we were looking at your dad's paintings.

[Jackie K]

My father's paintings? Not quite. It's, he's an outsider.

[Maria Bamford]

He's an outsider.

[Jackie K]

He's an out, it's outsider painting. He's got, he's got acrylics. He's been painting for, he's 88. So yeah, he does, he, he does the whimsical stuff. He does. Was very popular.

[Christy Lee]

There's a pig series and a rooster.

[Tom Griswold]

Series and he lives in Milwaukee.

[Jackie K]

He lives our father who art in.

[Tom Griswold]

West Milwaukee and then Maria Bamford's husband is a high end painter, if you will.

[Jackie K]

Fine art.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's great stuff. Scott Marvel Cassidy, this is now. I highly recommend checking it out online.

[Christy Lee]

Is he a superhero?

[Maria Bamford]

Hero?

[Jackie K]

Yes.

[Maria Bamford]

Well, he is strong, strong stock.

[Tom Griswold]

Now when You're. When you're on the road.

Do you FaceTime with him every day to keep in touch, or do you get, like a little mental break?

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah, yeah, no, no. Yeah, yeah, totally. You gotta. You gotta understand, it's your friend, you know, your friends, hopefully, and you want to, you know.

[Tom Griswold]

Does he say, how was your show?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Maria Bamford]

Oh, God, yes. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And do you say, did you paint today?

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah, that's. I don't know how to ask that, because I know he painted.

[Tom Griswold]

Is he handy? Can he, like, also paint the kitchen?

[Maria Bamford]

Some. Some things? I. Yeah. Yes.

[Jackie K]

He knows how to fix.

[Maria Bamford]

He knows how to fix a thing or two. Yeah.

[Jackie K]

Didn't he used to paint?

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah, he used to do construction work. So.

[Tom Griswold]

So he doesn't just use oil and watercolors. He can do latex.

[Maria Bamford]

He can do latex. He can do.

[Tom Griswold]

Way around a roller.

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah, he can do paintings on the ceiling and gold leaf if he needed it. If he needed it.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, cool.

[Jackie K]

No one does.

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah, well, sometimes some people in Los Angeles decide to paint everything gold and then go, why is everything got to be about Armenians?

[Jackie K]

Why is there anything about my people?

[Tom Griswold]

Why has it got to come up?

[Maria Bamford]

It's like they were Saudi.

[Tom Griswold]

Jackie.

[Jackie K]

Everybody's doing good work with salads. Anybody asked me about the Middle East, I'm like, good work with salads.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, very nice. Now Christy Lee is at the news.

[Christy Lee]

Desk speaking of paint.

[Willie G]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. This is a good segue. The Pantone Color Institute has selected their shade of the year.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

2026.

[Tom Griswold]

This is a real thing. This is. And. But the reason I wanted to give you this story is I love terrible corporate writing. And this is. This is.

[Josh Arnold]

This.

[Tom Griswold]

This is such crap. And someone had to go to college to learn how to do this. Go ahead.

[Christy Lee]

The color of the year for 2026 is a shade of white, all right. Called Cloud Dancer, which sounds like a.

[Tom Griswold]

Horse, by the way.

[Christy Lee]

A billowy white imbued with serenity. Pant 111-4201. Cloud Dancer encourages true relaxation and focus, allowing the mind to wander and creativity to bring breathe, making room for innovation. Leotris Eisman, executive director of the Institute, told CNN that Cloud Dancer represents, quote, a calming influence in a friend in a frenetic.

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah, and that's just when you're huffing.

[Christy Lee]

Society rediscovering the value of measured consideration and quiet reflection.

[Tom Griswold]

That is such incredible craft.

[Josh Arnold]

Is it wandering or wonder?

[Christy Lee]

Wander.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Jackie K]

Let's take a look at this.

[Tom Griswold]

There's the. We have a post of the color of the year. Hey, listen, it's just Cloud Dancer.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I was way off.

[Christy Lee]

Is associated with new beginnings and signifies our desire for a fresh start.

[Tom Griswold]

So Pantona saying white is in. Finally my people get our day in the sun.

[Willie G]

You got to relax with that.

[Jackie K]

The best joke I heard about it, which I. This is. I have no conversation. All I have is other people's jokes and my own. So Gail Simone, great comic book writer, she said the new. The new color of the year is colonialism. They should have just called it colonialism. Gail Simone. Not me. Gail Simone.

[Tom Griswold]

The previous colors. I looked them up.

[Nick Weary]

Oh, good.

[Tom Griswold]

Anybody remember this year's color?

[Christy Lee]

Because this is the mocha one, the brown color, Right, Right.

[Josh Arnold]

Something gray, right?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, that was way back in 2021.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, way back.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. El faba green, Universal gray.

[Jackie K]

Something borrowed, Something blue.

[Christy Lee]

That was a blue.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it was blue a few years ago, and it was. But it's. It's the. It's always some. It's a classic blue.

[Jackie K]

It's so arbitrary. They're just like, hey, we're gonna put out a press release about.

[Tom Griswold]

And the flower. The flowery language.

[Christy Lee]

But Pantone is the, you know, industry standard. That's what everybody uses. I mean, if you're picking out color colors and you're doing artwork, P.J. i'm sure uses Pantone.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, sure, I understand the need for Pantone, but to declare the color of the year. Did ecru get snubbed again? Okay, here we go.

[Jackie K]

There's a board game. Pantone board game.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, is there really?

[Jackie K]

Yes. That is actually supposed to be. Was actually supposed to be quite fun. I have not played it.

[Maria Bamford]

Huh?

[Tom Griswold]

Here we go. They. When the year it was classic blue. They say classic blue is described as being gender.

[Josh Arnold]

Maybe they put that because they were worried about.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, because of the male female thing.

[Maria Bamford]

But about the other colors. Committing hate crimes.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. It's a. It's an epidemic.

[Tom Griswold]

The. The blue also has a, quote, reassuring presence and evokes a feeling of vast expanse.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Boy, that is just really not.

[Jackie K]

I. I also get that feeling when someone hands me a 20. So if anybody wants to create that feeling in my life.

Start handing me signals.

[Tom Griswold]

The color of the year. Thank you. Now the building we're in smells like chicken wings again. Oh, they brought more, which is a good thing. We're about to have some chicken wings.

[Maria Bamford]

Can you still sign up for to be in the contest.

Room? In the contest?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, we have a ch. Champion eater Mickey Sudo is in the green room about to enter. And so we're Gonna find out how that goes. Do you think you could eat a lot of wings?

[Maria Bamford]

I mean a five.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what? There is room in the country.

[Maria Bamford]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's exciting. Yeah. Because I gotta go night soon. I. I gotta go back to sleep. I can't believe we're still up.

[Jackie K]

I know. The show's at 7 tonight.

[Maria Bamford]

Oh, thank God.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, good. We want to thank, thank you ladies for coming by.

[Maria Bamford]

Thank you so much for having us.

[Tom Griswold]

You're always the best light.

[Christy Lee]

Very, very fun.

[Tom Griswold]

And check out Maria, check out Jackie. And also check out the father and husband artwork.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, it's very, it's very cool. We'll stick some links up to it. And we're going to come back with Mickey and Nick, Famous eaters. And Willie, we have wings if you'd like to try them. They're delightful. Yeah, that's, that's all coming around the corner right now. I want to talk a little bit about Better Help. The Bob and Tom show is sponsored by Better Help BetterHelp. BetterHelp is all about accessing therapy online. Some 30,000 therapists are working this way now and BetterHelp has served over 5 million people globally. They're rating from the folks that have used them 4.9 out of 5. This is all about live sessions, individual sessions that you can do with a professionally licensed therapist. And this December, maybe start a new tradition by taking care of yourself a little bit. Just hit possibly £250 and say the keyword BT show. That's pound sign and then 2, 5, 0, say the keyword BT show to find out information about better help. Once again, the keyword is BT Show. After calling £2 5 0. When we come back, it'll be time to talk about eating fast with our two guests. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. Live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, Christy Lees at the Silac Insurance Company news desk.

[Nick Weary]

Hello.

[Josh Arnold]

Willie G is at the prize pick sports desk. Good morning. Ace Cosby's there. Hey, I'm Josh Arnold of the I Hate Steven Singer Sidekick chair and Tom. We are joined by a couple of true champions in the world of competitive.

[Tom Griswold]

Eating for the second day in a row. Yes, you. We had Joey Chestnut in here. I know you folks are familiar with Mr. Chestnut. Now we have a lady who we've been reading about for years. I've never met Mickey before.

[Josh Arnold]

We finally get to meet her.

[Tom Griswold]

Mickey Sudo.

[Mickey Sudo]

Thanks for Having me.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi Mickey.

[Josh Arnold]

You're welcome. Thanks for being here.

[Tom Griswold]

And one might assume being a championship eater, that Mickey would be a woman of a certain size.

[Christy Lee]

I knew you were gonna say that.

[Tom Griswold]

And the exact opposite is true.

[Mickey Sudo]

I, you know, I thought I was in shape and then I met Nick, you know, but that's a whole different category.

[Tom Griswold]

Nick was, Nick Weary is here and Nick looks like.

I'm about to get hit by a machete.

[Willie G]

You're so jacked. You're wearing a hoodie and we can all tell how strong you are.

[Nick Weary]

I appreciate that. The secret is dozens of chicken wings.

[Tom Griswold]

And the, the hair choice is a bright red mohawk.

[Nick Weary]

Yeah, I think it fits with the, the, the game is going on tomorrow and usually it'll be the color of something to do with the contest that we're going to. And it's somewhat of a style choice, the mohawk and then somewhat a male pattern baldness, you know, easing towards the middle there.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh yeah. So Dick Nixon could have done that.

[Josh Arnold]

That would have been rare.

[Tom Griswold]

That would have been great. Oh, Henry, give me another bourbon and some chicken wings. And then let's drop a load on Nom.

Let's see now. Are you guys all eating at the same time? Is this one company competition?

[Mickey Sudo]

Absolutely. There'll be an undercard event where you'll have some semi pros eating deep dish pizza and then we. Our competition goes on at 3:30. And this is, I mean like every other contest on the professional circuit. Men and women compete alongside each other. So I'll be up against Joey and Nick.

[Tom Griswold]

Now am I correct in saying. And rarely I am I. You just defeated Joey in something recently, is that correct?

[Mickey Sudo]

I mean over. So I've been competing for, for about 14 years now. I don't know, I kind of lost track. But I mean over the years I've beat Joey at a handful of events. Wings are one of those equalizing foods because you're more up against the clock as opposed to your capacity. We run out of time as opposed to space. So yeah, beat Joey it wings and I hope to do it again tomorrow.

[Josh Arnold]

So you'll leave this competition hungry. Potentially.

[Mickey Sudo]

I've been known to sneak some wings after the competition on my own time.

[Willie G]

Any of that deep dish delay around back here guys, Little pepperoni.

[Tom Griswold]

So.

As I understand the way it works is they weigh the wings that you're going to get before and after so that the.

[Mickey Sudo]

Yeah, it's, it's based on displacement to make it fair because I might eat more wings in terms of number but Nick might eat them more cleanly. So to avoid any sort of controversy. Yeah, we weigh them.

[Tom Griswold]

Approximately how many do you anticipate? This is a 10 minute contest. Approximately how many do you think you'll eat?

[Nick Weary]

That's tough. You know, I, I think the winner will probably be somewhere in the 210 to 250 mark.

[Jackie K]

Whoa.

[Josh Arnold]

Now, Joey suggested he prefers the flats to the drummies. Do you guys feel the same?

[Nick Weary]

So in casual, leisurely day to day wing eating, I would say I prefer the flats definitely in contest. The drums I think have a little bit more weight to them. So if you can, if they're cooked well, they're warm, which I'm sure they're going to be tomorrow you can spin the drums. I think I'm a little bit faster with the drums than I am with the flats. But I think it's kind of a technique thing. What you prefer.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Joey demonstrated yesterday his technique with the flats that involves some thumb work. We've posted it on our various social media platforms. In slow motion. Do you, is are there like trade secrets here to do? Because you can't look at your competitor, right. Unless you look at film.

[Nick Weary]

I mean I suppose you could watch your competitor. You're probably not going to place very well if you're just watching, you know, watching to me. But like there's, I think everybody has their own technique. It's what. How are you going to be the most efficient? You know, some people I'm sure could be really good with a Sean Marion jump shot, so to speak. You're not going to change how he shoots the ball because it's pretty, pretty efficient. But most of us have a pretty similar technique with the flats of kind of like making a umbrella.

[Tom Griswold]

And are you going to be getting both flats and drummies?

[Nick Weary]

Yeah, we'll get both, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Do, do you attack them? Do you do one first and the other, do you alternate? What's the.

[Nick Weary]

I typically will look when they put. It's going to be a 25 pound tray they put in front of us and I'll look to see like what looks almost, you know, sometimes when you cook a wing it'll be, there'll be like exposed bone or something like that on a couple of them. I'll look for some of those or an easy one to start the competition with. Almost like starting with momentum. I have 10 more minutes of this insanity so I want to start on a good foot and then it's kind of just, you know, eating them, discarding the bones, moving on as quickly as you can. So for me, it's kind of where my hand lands the first couple. You'll probably. There's a conscious choice and then it's kind of just.

[Tom Griswold]

Just go as quickly as you can. Do you have to deposit the bones accurately in a particular vessel?

[Jackie K]

As.

[Nick Weary]

No, it's. It's back in the same bowl because it's going to be by displacement. So you'd like to it.

[Tom Griswold]

Do.

[Nick Weary]

Do it. I learned this the hard way and like at my first and second wing competitions, I was just chucking them back in there. But then you're playing the digging game.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Willie G]

In the graveyard o bone.

[Nick Weary]

So if you can discard them all towards one side and then it kind of just becomes a conveyor belt of. Of wing efficiency, so to speak. There's a. There's a strange science to this insanity is there is.

[Tom Griswold]

They do the same for the ribs when you do a rib thing.

[Nick Weary]

Yeah, it's really similar for the ribs. Ribs are bit a little bit easier because like at least most of the time the ribs we get in contest are pretty easy to clear and the tray will be filled up a little bit less. But yeah, same idea.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, just heave them behind your back. Yeah, it's a. Be smart. That's a lot of weight.

[Nick Weary]

It would take off if you just. One just mysteriously disappeared like down your shirt.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, we. We were told yesterday that there have been cheaters. There have been cheaters in competitive eating.

[Willie G]

No, this. This is an integrable organization. Don't even bring that into this. I mean, we've got two legs legends here, two geniuses. And you're gonna imply they're cheating over here.

[Nick Weary]

I'm sure there's been, you know, there's people. Anytime you put money on the line for anything, you know, money, belts, prestige, so to speak or.

[Tom Griswold]

No, the belts I understand in competitive eating have extra holes.

[Willie G]

Yeah.

[Nick Weary]

Just in case. They're highly adjusted. It's like my fanny pack. It fits right now, but I'm not. I'm gonna have to carry it.

[Tom Griswold]

We're talking with Nick Weary and Mickey Sudo about competitive eating. We talked with Joey Chester yesterday. Learned quite a bit.

Do you have different pre game you've got. Let's see, what is today? Friday. You got a little more than 24 hours to get ready. Are you not eating food? Are you drinking a lot of water? What are you doing to prepare?

[Mickey Sudo]

Mickey, it would probably be smart to minimize the solid foods, but you know, I always tell myself the winning number is going to be. I don't Know, maybe the equivalent of seven to ten pounds at the most. We're not going to hit capacity. So I kind of, I find it hard to, you know, stay disciplined and fast on the day before wings and ribs, you know, what is your.

[Tom Griswold]

You said, what is your capacity?

[Mickey Sudo]

I mean, if we were doing, say, poutine, where the winning number is going to be in the literal 20, 20 pound range, you know, I need every little square millimeter of space. But if I'm, you know, if the winning number is going to be somewhere between seven and ten pounds, which is still a lot of chicken wings, don't get me wrong. But I mean, you know, I don't need to eat £20 to win. So I, I just. What I'm saying is I love enjoying food on the day before contest when I can.

[Tom Griswold]

What is, what is your capacity? How do you know what your capacity is? Have you ever had it physically measured by a physician? I mean, is it like stats for a basketball team?

[Mickey Sudo]

I. That was not part of my regular physical, but I mean, some events that have tested my capacity, like, I. So I hold the world record in ice cream, which is 16 and a half pints in six minutes. So, I mean, that's over two gallons of just ice cream alone.

[Willie G]

What's the coolest sentence I've ever heard? I have the world record in ice cream. That's awesome.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you have a brain freeze to.

[Mickey Sudo]

Not a brain freeze, actually, that was at the Indiana State Fair, now that I think about it. But it was at the height of summer and I was freezing after the contest and I was just begging somebody to find a pot of coffee. And that turned out to be very difficult because it felt like my internal organs were like.

[Nick Weary]

You were 10.

[Tom Griswold]

Ice cream?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Willie G]

There's coffee at the state fair, but it is deep fried and it's not really gonna cool you down.

[Tom Griswold]

What flavor ice cream was it?

[Mickey Sudo]

Just vanilla. It was delicious.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's just say for the sake of the stupid argument, if they had given you that Neapolitan ice cream, which would you have eaten first?

[Mickey Sudo]

I am just pure chaos.

[Jackie K]

It just would have been.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, you wouldn't.

[Mickey Sudo]

Straight down.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Because the way to do it, of course, is you do chocolate and then vanilla and then strawberries so you don't have to finish it.

[Christy Lee]

That's your way of doing it. Not everyone dislikes strawberries.

[Willie G]

Did you see how the new people laughed and the rest of us rolled our eyes and got angry?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

If you could choose any food to eat in a competition, what is the one you'd want to do Nick more than any. If you. If this is the one I'm best at, what would that be? Oh, yeah.

[Mickey Sudo]

Best is different from what I enjoy.

[Tom Griswold]

It's different from another. Yeah. Another. What you think you would.

[Nick Weary]

The one I'm most proficient at are typically foods. I would say pistachios I was very good at. I won the first ever pistachio eating championship. They actually had to shell and eat my combination like PlayStation and bodybuilding calloused fingers. I think.

That. Or foods like Spam or pork roll in New Jersey. Foods that are maybe.

Local delicacies that are maybe a little bit tough on people. People's palates. I typically do well on those because that. When it's. If it just becomes a hey, this or fudge, this is going to be really uncomfortable and really strong tasting. I want to go into the deep water. That's where I'm going to succeed is when, like, this is maybe somewhat unpleasant for other people because the taste is so strong. That's where I want to take you because it's going to give me a better shot of winning.

[Maria Bamford]

Ah.

[Christy Lee]

Do you have weird taste buds, you think?

[Nick Weary]

No, I think I just have a high threshold for discomfort.

[Christy Lee]

Okay, fair enough.

[Nick Weary]

You really fit.

[Willie G]

Do you ever, after a competition, go into my fitness pal and you're like, well, 18 pounds of fudge the Spam.

[Nick Weary]

I did just to check the sodium and I think it was 56 grams.

[Tom Griswold]

Can they. I mean, you're eating so much food. I suppose they could. Technically you could weigh in and weigh out.

[Nick Weary]

That would be neat. You know, like instead of weighing the wings, just weigh the competitor. But the problem would be the, the liquid at that point, who consumed more liquid.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, it would.

[Nick Weary]

I imagine around 20 to 20 odd pounds is probably the most I've gained in 6 to 10 minutes.

[Christy Lee]

How long does it take to get rid of that? 20 pounds?

[Nick Weary]

24 to 48 hours, depending on the food. Like sweets hit you faster.

[Josh Arnold]

4 to 11 minutes.

I know that's my average.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, how long. How long before you're allowed to puke?

[Nick Weary]

I mean, that's tough, you know. I know know there's a lot of people, what they do after the contest is going to be their stuff. But for me personally, like, we will lose if we do, you know, if you lose it on stage.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you can't do that.

[Nick Weary]

You don't want to, like, have that. That reflex.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. You don't want to train your body.

[Nick Weary]

Yeah. Like, we all went to college with a guy who you knew if he took a drink, like he's going to lose it in the bushes.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Nick Weary]

You know, so for me personally, it's like we go out there, we get to eat these delicious foods and usually we have an hour, two hours of taking pictures, pictures and things like that after the contest. So you're walking around and like tomorrow there's going to be tens of thousands of people there and there's gonna be a bunch of people that just want to take pictures and you're gonna have. Tomorrow's not as bad because it's only gonna be, let's say 250 wings or something, but.

18 pounds of strawberry shortcake and you have to take pictures for two hours. Everyone's like, smile. Then of course, everyone's like, oh, I can't work my camera. I was just like, work. We're honestly, you're so appreciative that people pay to come out and watch you eat mass quantities of food and you get to raise money while doing it and travel all over the world. Like, it's. It's pretty cool. You don't mind taking those pictures. I actually enjoy it.

[Tom Griswold]

That is. That is the voice of Nick Weary, a competitive eater, along with Mickey Sudo. Josh, go ahead.

[Josh Arnold]

Do you schedule your travel days the day after a competition or will you wait an extra day or so so that you're not. If, when you do have to lose weight, as it were, you're not doing it on a plane?

[Mickey Sudo]

I don't know. I don't think we schedule our travel around. It's really just, you know, we've got a four year old at home, so it's. Our schedule's more determined by it, by him than I think how we feel.

[Josh Arnold]

You guys are a couple?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, we are married.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, right on.

[Christy Lee]

Did not know that.

[Mickey Sudo]

Oh, yeah, no, we actually met Mickey.

[Josh Arnold]

I'll stop sexting you.

[Nick Weary]

It's fine.

[Christy Lee]

I'm sorry.

[Mickey Sudo]

We actually met at the hotel gym on the morning of the hot dog eating contest. I mean, you know.

[Nick Weary]

It's. Yeah, she. She had already won four titles and she came up to me and I.

[Tom Griswold]

Was the new guy.

[Nick Weary]

She's like, hey, do you mind if I take a picture with you for like social media purposes? Because usually on contest stage, she's very reserved and focused. Some might say antisocial. She would say focused. So she did. She came up, took a picture. We didn't stay in touch for at all really, but we had. I, five months later, was putting together a team to eat 108 pound burger in New Jersey.

[Tom Griswold]

As you do.

[Nick Weary]

And yes, of course. And so like that was a really elaborate way to get a second date.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Nick Weary]

You know, so she was on that team and then we started kind of had a mutual friend that kept on telling us to, that we should see each other and we both said no for months.

[Mickey Sudo]

I just really didn't think competitive eating, especially for a woman was compatible with dating. It requires travel.

[Tom Griswold]

Nick, did you, did you have the same look at that point? Ish. Yeah.

[Willie G]

Yeah, Ish.

[Nick Weary]

I think I was like, I, I probably was. Hadn't aged as poorly at that point, but I was a little bit more charming, a little bit more jacked, you know.

[Tom Griswold]

So you, who won that day?

[Mickey Sudo]

So that was the, the hot dog eating contest. I, so I took home my fifth belt. At Nathan's.

[Nick Weary]

Yeah. Yeah. At Nathan's we, we eat separately.

[Mickey Sudo]

Yes. Hot dogs are the only competition where men and women compete separately.

[Tom Griswold]

That's weird. Yeah, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

You compete at home different ways.

[Nick Weary]

Like any, like, yeah. Watching any trivia shows and your child.

[Tom Griswold]

Your child is a.

[Mickey Sudo]

He's four and a half.

[Tom Griswold]

Four and a half.

[Mickey Sudo]

Yeah, he's a boy.

[Tom Griswold]

So this little guy must have. I said eat it.

[Nick Weary]

Yeah, he's, it's like the universe's crazy joke that he, he does have a very, very healthy appetite. With that said, we've done so much. I think he's been on 40 odd flights at this point. He's traveled with us a lot internationally and domestically. So the only thing he really does not like is probably peas and peppers. But other than that, he's eaten everything. Everything from like octopus jellyfish.

[Josh Arnold]

And he currently holds the dinosaur shaped chicken nugget.

[Nick Weary]

I will wreck him in dino nuggets.

Not letting him win no participation trophies.

[Tom Griswold]

In this house or hanging out with Mickey Sudo and Nick Weary and I do we, we have some wings in the building.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So we'll, we'll try them when we come. Come back. Couple quick things. I'll remind everybody. We got a cool contest going on with the NFL and that would involve picking some winners. And the prize is a Steven Singer jewelers gift card. Christy, tell me more about Stephen. What's he got going on?

[Christy Lee]

Well, you know, the holidays are here and Steven Singer, the I hate Stephen Singer guy, has the number one Christmas gift. Ladies love diamond earrings. Right? And the diamond studs are just a staple in your war wardrobe. They start at just $298 with Steven Singer gold diamond prices, highest in history. But Steven Singer's prices, same as last year. There's no better time to get that pair of diamond studs from Stephen Singer Jewelers. The Anita diamond studs, by the way, are eye flawless deer colorless and they have a lifetime trade in guarantee. That means if you buy studs this year and you want to upgrade next year, you can do that and you will get exactly what you paid towards that large larger pair. Go now to I hate stevensinger.com order with fast and free shipping and it'll arrive just in time for Christmas experience. The difference, it's Steven Singer Jewelers online at I hate stephensinger.com that's I hate.

[Tom Griswold]

Stevensinger.Com coming back with Mickey and Nick and wings. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Got a comment?

[Josh Arnold]

To share?

[Tom Griswold]

Text us at 8A8661. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey there, it's the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee is at the Silac Insurance Company news desk. Hey Joshy, there's Willie G at the prize pick sports desk.

[Willie G]

Hey man.

[Josh Arnold]

You can catch him this weekend at the Dayton Funny Bone tonight and tomorrow with Mr. Al Jackson. Ace Cosby's there. I'm Josh Arnold to the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair and Tom. We're joined by two wonderful people who have terrific skills that we, you know, guys like Willie, me, Ace. We all kind of consider ourselves amateurs.

[Tom Griswold]

At.

[Josh Arnold]

We can only hope to one day be as skilled as.

[Tom Griswold]

Hungry.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah, maybe I'm not hungry. Is that it? I'm not hungry enough. That can't be it.

[Tom Griswold]

From the world of competitive eating, the legendary Mickey Sudo and the number sixth ranked participant, if I have the facts correctly, Nick Weary and you guys are husband and wife. Yes. You have a young son. You said four and a half. I hope you gave him like a food related name.

Angus.

[Josh Arnold]

Angus is good.

[Tom Griswold]

Caesar Colby.

Pancake. No, wait a minute.

But you guys are going to be doing a thing tomorrow along with Joey Chestnut and the food in question, Wings. And Willie, you're quite the connoisseur of wings. I know that.

[Willie G]

I'm not really. I'm in it for the love of the game. You know I'm not.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, but you are a big wing fan.

[Willie G]

I love wing. I haven't. I was a kid, my older brother used to love him and I love him as a kid we go to this place and call Colorado and for an appetizer I'd get wings. And then for my main I get an order away.

[Mickey Sudo]

And for dessert, you guys wear rubber gloves.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no. Absolutely not.

[Mickey Sudo]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, because I would think. Because you'd. Well, I can. I'll tell the story here. You guys left a bunch of wings yesterday. So when I got off the air, I went and had lunch. I ate those. And I. Then I took the scrub brush.

[Christy Lee]

Of course you did.

[Tom Griswold]

And had to do my.

[Josh Arnold]

Because that's you.

[Christy Lee]

That's you.

[Josh Arnold]

That is you.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't want to be taking chicken bacteria or whatever.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my goodness.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. Yes. The bacteria doesn't cook off. You're right. My goodness.

[Tom Griswold]

So now I was just curious. I mean, it could be a lot easier to eat them with rubber gloves on.

[Nick Weary]

I need the feeling, like. Yeah, I need to feel that, like, even when I'm really particular about that. Yeah. Like, I. I even used to, when I lived in Connecticut, shovel the driveway with no gloves on because it's hard for me to do stuff with a. Without having, like, the feeling.

[Tom Griswold]

We should point out. You look like you swallowed a xylophone. You are, like.

[Christy Lee]

Very fit.

[Tom Griswold]

You.

[Josh Arnold]

Have you actually lost that contest?

[Tom Griswold]

You are the fittest human being I've ever seen in my life. Thank you.

[Mickey Sudo]

He's gonna double as security for tomorrow.

[Nick Weary]

Yeah, exactly. People just think I'm part of the. When we walk around through the airport and she's got her belts look. Oh, that must be your security guard.

[Tom Griswold]

That's got to be a good feeling.

[Willie G]

It is.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Nick Weary]

I know it is.

[Tom Griswold]

How much time are you in the gym every day?

[Nick Weary]

Usually about five to six days a week for only about, like, an hour and change. You know, each time it's a little bit less now.

[Tom Griswold]

So if I ask how much you lift, you're going to go all of it.

[Nick Weary]

Yeah, I know. Not quite as much as I used to, but.

[Willie G]

I'm sitting next to you. You have a muscle that I've never seen before. There's like a 7 on the side of your arm. It's like a Nike swoosh.

[Josh Arnold]

That. That is a muscle that heretofore, unbeknownst.

Unbeknownst to me as well.

[Willie G]

Really impressed, a little turned on. We gotta go.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you pick your hotels based on who has the best gym?

[Nick Weary]

I look to see if they have a gym occasionally, which is kind of nice at this point. Like, I used to compete in bodybuilding. That's where most of this comes from. I used to be the guy in the mankini, shaved on stage. Now it's more like a. Just part of who I am. Now it's just like a therapy thing. Going to the gym now. And I actually feel better if I. I train. If I don't train, I'm almost like. Like the Tin Man. Like, things starts to get kind of crazy.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, sure.

[Nick Weary]

So now I'm so used to, like, emotion is lotion kind of thing is just going in training, it puts me in a good head space.

[Tom Griswold]

Well.

[Nick Weary]

And it keeps me lean. And if I'm leaner and in better shape, I find that for the 6 to 12 minute contest, even though it's only 6 to 12 minutes, we are kind of pushing our body to. To its limit for six to 12 minutes. So I have more of a tolerance for this comfort. And I don't seem to get as uncomfortable as quickly. If I have less of a. A fat belt in my abdomen.

[Tom Griswold]

People, they're probably listening, going, oh, this guy must be really fat. And you're the exact opposite.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You see, I feel like the Tin Man. Wait till you're my age. When I walk around, I turn my neck. It's like opening a car door. Sound that I hear in my ears. It's a pleasure to meet you guys. And we do have some of those delightful wings that you'll be eating tomorrow.

[Josh Arnold]

How many people in the competition altogether?

[Nick Weary]

10.

[Tom Griswold]

Obviously, you can't trap trash talk during the event because you're eating right now. And Joey Chestnut was saying that there's a little bit of trash talking prior to.

[Mickey Sudo]

Y' all in good fun. Yeah, sure.

[Nick Weary]

Yeah, yeah, it's all in good fun. Like, Chestnut tries to have timeshares in people's heads sometimes, which is successful with some of the new people. But once, you know, it's just Chestnut being Chestnut.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. He referred to it as a mind screw.

[Nick Weary]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Radio friendly. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I like that.

[Mickey Sudo]

He's like the annoying older brother. I mean, we all, like, poke fun at each other. There's another competitor, Gideon OG Who'll be with us tomorrow. And the running joke is, like, he's great if he shows up and on time because he's missed way too many contests to count.

[Willie G]

Yeah.

[Nick Weary]

And you. And you get. It's such, like, a niche group of people that you get to know everybody really well, so you kind of know how to push their buttons and this, that, and the other. But, you know, for the most part, it's all in good fun. You know, for the six to 12 minutes we compete, like, I don't know you. It doesn't matter if you're Joey or her or, you know, my grandpa.

[Tom Griswold]

Tomorrow. How long you're eating? Is it 10 minutes?

[Nick Weary]

10 minutes? It's.

[Willie G]

Yeah.

[Nick Weary]

We're just competitors for those. Those 10 minutes. And then afterwards we can be friends again.

[Tom Griswold]

But for 10 minutes after two hours of taking photographs, trying not to have. Have your anus prolapse.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Nick Weary]

Yeah. That's a negative.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Okay.

[Nick Weary]

What do you wear typically? This is my bodybuilding posing.

[Christy Lee]

Trunks?

[Nick Weary]

No, usually just whatever's going to be comfortable. So tomorrow will probably be like a shirt. Shirt just like this. The Hermanaki wing eating shirt or sponsor shirt. I typically try to go like a size up.

[Maria Bamford]

Okay.

[Nick Weary]

You know, to allow for, like, expansion.

[Tom Griswold]

I was gonna say if that's a size up, your arms are about to explore. That's usually.

[Nick Weary]

The funny thing is it'll be big in the waist and kind of in the stomach. And then here it'll kind of be snuggy. Because they typically don't make. Most of the time in the U.S. they make shirts for, like, Danny DeVito, not people who are in, like, really good shape. So it's kind of hard to find. But this, like, this one's pretty comfy and it's a stretchy material. So that really helps. When we have shirts that are really snuggy. That's tough. Cause when you feel your stomach kind of pressing against the shirt, plus it'll be liquid. You're spilling on yourself. Like, I don't know about, like. I know, like Mickey. She'll go sometimes two sizes up in shirts, you know, with more capacity.

[Tom Griswold]

Is there a prize tomorrow?

[Mickey Sudo]

Yeah, there's a purse that we're competing for. A belt?

[Nick Weary]

Yeah, purse, belt. Eternal glory.

[Josh Arnold]

Is there money in the purse?

[Nick Weary]

Yes.

It'S a Dooney and Burke.

On the black markets.

[Willie G]

No, it's not a coach bag filled with ranch.

[Nick Weary]

Yeah, but there's that. There's a really awesome, like, Ale Emporium. Giant belt.

[Christy Lee]

Nice.

[Josh Arnold]

Sweet.

[Nick Weary]

Yeah, so that's. Those are. Those are really cool. We have a bunch of, like, belts hanging around the house. Most people have.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you wear them? Oh, do you have to. Can you go through security?

[Nick Weary]

Yeah, those are. That's interesting. You have to decide when you go back to the airport after the. The contest, if you want everybody to stop you and ask you. In my case, like, oh, so you're a mixed martial artist.

[Josh Arnold]

I was going to say.

Are you with wwe or.

[Nick Weary]

I get the wrestler and mixed martial artist thing. Sometimes they think she's a female boxer.

[Tom Griswold]

Fighter, something like that.

[Nick Weary]

A fighter, yeah.

[Willie G]

So the airport, I believe you're flying out of, they have a burger place that has a food challenge that you can do at the airport.

[Josh Arnold]

No way.

[Willie G]

Can you guys please do the competition.

[Tom Griswold]

Tomorrow if this is true.

[Mickey Sudo]

True.

[Tom Griswold]

Absolutely.

[Mickey Sudo]

You will find this.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, Mickey and Nick, it's great to see you guys. Thanks for stopping by. And once again, I need to point out Mickey is a beautiful woman and Nick is a is a jacked fit guy that looks like he could tear my head off while eating a wing on the side. So check out some photos. We'll post them on our various social media platforms. Also check out Maria Bamford stuff. She's great. Jackie Cash. And thanks so much for being on our guests. We got a bunch of cool videos out there, including a cool interview with Tim Allen. A lot of stuff lately. So if you get a chance this week and if it's cold where you are and you want to take a little break, you can spend some time looking at our social media. We certainly would appreciate it. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Check out the podcast that inspired Taylor Sheridan's latest series, Landman. There's a stretch of road in royal rich region of West Texas. This region of West Texas, known as the Permian Basin, is in the midst of the biggest oil boom in history. This is a story of roughnecks, billionaire wildcatters and wannabe dreamers. My name is Christian Wallace. From Texas Monthly and Imperative Entertainment, this is Boomtown. Boomtown. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.