Transcript

Tom Griswold (0:16)

It's the bob and tom show. To be honest, I'd never heard of the first bank that treats you like your Tom Griswold.

Josh Arnold (0:27)

This man came in and said he'd.

Chick McGee (0:29)

Never heard of the first bank that treats you like your Tom Griswold.

Tom Griswold (0:33)

I wanted to make a deposit, but.

Josh Arnold (0:34)

I had a million things to do.

Tom Griswold (0:35)

That day, so I didn't want to.

Josh Arnold (0:37)

Spend a long time waiting in line.

Tom Griswold (0:39)

Behind a douchebag without proper identification.

Chick McGee (0:44)

Loser.

Tom Griswold (0:45)

Trying to open a checking account with 20 bucks.

Chick McGee (0:48)

We could tell he was a very.

Tom Griswold (0:50)

Busy and important customer, so we led.

Chick McGee (0:53)

Him straight to our VIP banking teller, but he refused.

Tom Griswold (0:57)

I told the morons that I'd rather eat a raw turd than have to sit and listen to their pathetic little pitch about money market funds, CDs or squirrel Christmas accounts. Oh, I told them I just walk up to the drive thru atm. Thank you very much.

Chick McGee (1:12)

The man was about to go out.

Tom Griswold (1:13)

To use the atm, but we pointed.

Chick McGee (1:15)

Out the armored car in the parking lot.

Tom Griswold (1:18)

Luckily, the manager spotted a terribly dangerous situation. There was an army car at the back. Statistically, you know, nine out of ten bank robberies happen when these security vehicles are around. At the same time, I noticed there was a tanker truck filling the tanks at the gas station across the street. This was the perfect storm. The man seemed rather nervous, paranoid and.

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show – February 12, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of The BOB & TOM Show continues its signature mix of comedy, conversational banter, pop-culture riffing, oddball news, and sports talk. On this February 12th broadcast, the crew welcomes comedians Jeff Bodart and Al Jackson, celebrates upcoming live events (e.g. the “Jeff Comedy Jam”), reacts to listener letters, and riffs on everything from Olympic sports and viral trends to pet clean-ups and medical oddities. The tone swings from playful sarcasm to earnest camaraderie, zipping between anecdotes, quirky news stories, and memorable comedy bits.

Featured Participants

Hosts – Tom Griswold, Chick McGee, Josh Arnold, Jess Hooker, Pat Godwin, Ace Cosby
Guests – Comedians Jeff Bodart and Al Jackson

Episode Highlights & Notable Segments

1. Comedic “Bank” Cold Open (00:16–02:34)

The show opens with a satirical sketch about “The First Bank That Treats You Like Your Tom Griswold,” poking fun at VIP banking and customer paranoia.
- “I told the morons that I’d rather eat a raw turd than have to sit and listen to their pathetic little pitch…” — Tom Griswold [00:57]
Includes recurring riffing between Tom, Josh, and Chick, setting the self-deprecating tone that runs through the episode.

2. Introducing the Lineup & Studio Banter (03:15–08:02)

The hosts perform their trademark chaotic roll call, poke fun at each other’s habits (lint-rolling a mouse pad, Chick’s “tech dandruff,” etc.).
Guest comedians for the day are announced: Jeff Bodart (“Bo Dart” joke) and Al Jackson.

Notable Quotes

“Watching you talk to Jeff Bodart is one of my favorite things… you have zero respect for him…” — Josh Arnold [04:41]
“First time he came in here… his boss said ‘You’re going to get fired if you do that.’ And he did it anyway.” — Chick McGee [05:16]

3. Live Comedy Events & Nostalgia (05:44–08:15)

Upcoming shows: Jeff Bodart, Jeff Oskay, and the "Jeff Comedy Jam" at Castle Finn Winery; Pat Godwin and Willie G. at Simplicity in Evansville, IN.
Nostalgic conversation about 1970s sunken living rooms and “pit” sofas, segueing into childhood roller-skate tales.

Memorable Exchange

“My father would be upstairs thinking he had four gay sons… Larry Badass, two tours of Nam, combat veteran. ‘I wanted to fight for people’s freedom, but not this, not this.’” — Chick & Josh, on Josh's roller-skating childhood [08:29]

4. Olympics, World Records & Sports Talk (09:03–11:11)

Uncomfortable watching the luge: “Imagine lying on the floor on your back, another woman lies down on top of you, and then you go 90 miles per hour.” — Chick [09:16]
Discussion of Olympic coverage, drone cameras, and complaints about “loud drones.”
- “Jeez, you big pussy. Change the channel.” — Chick [11:18]

5. Listener Emails – Anecdotes & Arguments (19:41–26:01)

Chick recounts a painful experience entering a daughter’s swim meet due to lack of cash (and discovering a turd in the men’s room: coned-off, left for janitors!).
- “As God is my witness, there is a huge turd on the ground… just coned off…” — Chick [23:59]
Debate about parents being charged for their own kids’ school events, culminating in a round of sarcastic economic logic.

Notable Listener Email

A listener shares a cherished PB&J, Lay’s chips, and Coors lunch tradition while fly fishing with family [25:27].

6. Quirky News Stories (& a Song): Urine, Turds, Zoo Dung, and Valentine’s (28:23–30:08, 138:43–141:15)

Multiple scatological stories:
- A listener pees near a rattlesnake (28:28).
- "Zoo Dung" for Valentine's Day: Maryland Zoo fundraiser lets you name a pile of animal poop after your ex ($5, certificate included).
  - “It kinda says more about you than the person you’re naming the dung after.” — Chick [140:27]
Extended riffing: recurring observations on the show’s attraction to bodily function humor.

7. Pat Godwin’s “Deny, Deny, Deny” Song (38:18–40:43)

Pat leads a new comedy song riffing on the futility of cheaters covering their tracks with increasingly absurd denials.
- “If you want to be a cheater, go out of state to meet her… deny, deny, deny…” — Pat Godwin [38:38]
The song inspires a group singalong, with the crew delighting in the escalating chorus.

8. Tech & Password Frustrations (42:40–46:53)

Rant about tech overload and the ridiculousness of passwords/security questions — including irreverent question-answer combos.
- “For favorite historical figure, I put Vlad the Impaler… and for favorite movie star, I put Jenna Jameson.” — Listener “Sean” [43:47]
Tangent about "Do Not Resuscitate" tattoos and medical alert tips.

9. Olympic Sports, Figure Skating, & Ball Injuries (57:07–66:46)

Olympic results recap — focus on figure skating coverage, Johnny Weir’s commentary, and comical observations.
- “What if we just called him Richard Button?” — Tom, on figure skater Dick Button [62:05]
“Internal testicular bleeding” for a cricket player leads to stunned male empathy and juvenile puns.

10. World Records: Extreme Trapeze & David Rush (68:31–77:07)

German acrobat Marlene Koepka performs a trapeze act from 10,698 feet, jumping with a parachute.
- “She’s gotta have a cute corpse when they go to get it.” — Chick [71:11].
David Rush regains his world record for balancing a chair on his chin (1 hour, 20 minutes, 30 seconds).
- “You couldn’t balance a chair on your chin for 10 seconds.” — Chick [75:57]

11. Snoring, Pet Messes, and Listener Advice (78:21–80:10)

Jess Hooker plays a “mystery sound” — her own thunderous, healthy snoring.
- “That is Three Stooges level snoring.” — Chick [79:46]
Tom shares a trick for cleaning up dog vomit with paper plates, igniting exchanges about animal messes and cat hairballs.

12. Relationships, Breakups, and Bodily Functions (135:12–157:27)

Naming dung after exes leads to banter about gender differences in breakups:
- “What do guys do to get over women? Murder. Drink.” — Josh Arnold [141:23]
Josh recounts waking his girlfriend with a deadly fart: “Silent, but the smell was so bad it woke her up.” [136:14]
Pat debuts a bitter breakup song, “The EX Got the House and My 401K,” in the spirit of Greg Kihn’s classic [156:12]
- “She took me to court, cut me down to size, with a fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa!” — Pat Godwin [156:18]

13. Offbeat Medical News: Spray-on Bleeding Stopper & Drinking Urine (137:16–146:11)

New spray-on powder instantly seals wounds — likened to “Flex Seal for the human body.”
Woman claims drinking her own urine and using it as a beauty treatment has “reprogrammed her gut” and improved her skin.
- “I loop most days — peeing in a cup and drinking it fresh…” — Jess Hooker (reading article) [145:33]

14. Absurd Relationships & Inanimate Love (149:04–150:33)

The infamous “Eiffel Tower marriage” is over; objectum sexual woman divorces Paris’s famous structure, moves on to a new “relationship.”
- “She married the Eiffel Tower… Come on.” — Chick [149:35]

Comedy Features, Show Lore, and Inside Jokes

Inside “Song” Bits: Recurring singalong to Pat Godwin’s parody and original songs.
Recurring Product Plugs: Steven Singer gold-dipped roses for Valentine’s, Aura digital frames, “Rougiet” bedroom supplement — all worked comedically into the flow.
Podcast/YouTube Gags: Members reference their own comedy specials, studio sleep footage, and friendly roasting.

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

“I told the morons I’d rather eat a raw turd…” — Tom Griswold [00:57]
“Watching you talk to Jeff Bodart is one of my favorite things… zero respect…” — Josh Arnold [04:41]
“I want a new lure… just sinks to the bottom.” — Chick sings (on Huey Lewis fly fishing trivia) [27:01]
“She married the Eiffel Tower… Come on.” — Chick McGee [149:35]
“Silent, but the smell was so bad it woke her up.” — Josh Arnold [136:14]
“If you want to be a cheater, go out of state to meet her… deny, deny, deny…” — Pat Godwin [38:38]
“What do guys do to get over women? Murder. Drink.” — Josh Arnold [141:23]
“You couldn’t balance a chair on your chin for 10 seconds.” — Chick McGee [75:57]
“That is Three Stooges level snoring.” — Chick McGee [79:46]
“She took me to court, cut me down to size, with a fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa!” — Pat Godwin [156:18]

Key Timestamps for Memorable Segments

[00:16] – “First Bank That Treats You Like Your Tom Griswold” sketch
[04:41] – Jeff Bodart roast, “Zero respect”
[09:16] – Luge description and Olympics coverage
[23:59] – “Huge turd on the ground” / coned-off swim meet story
[38:18] – Debut of “Deny, Deny, Deny” song
[43:47] – “Vlad the Impaler / Jenna Jameson” password joke
[75:15] – David Rush’s chair-balance world record
[79:46] – Jess Hooker mystery snore audio
[136:14] – Josh’s “silent but deadly” fart story
[141:23] – “What do guys do to get over women?” (Murder, drink.)
[149:35] – Woman divorces Eiffel Tower
[156:18] – Pat’s “Breakup Song”

Episode Themes & Tone

Tone: Fast-paced, irreverent, and jam-packed with laughter, the hosts and guests mercilessly roast themselves (and each other), riff on everyday absurdities, and weave in listener interaction.
Themes: Navigating life’s oddities, the constant comedy of everyday mishaps, the universality of embarrassment and scatological gags, and finding humor even in the world’s weirdest headlines.

For New Listeners

This episode is a quintessential BOB & TOM experience — a loud, quick-witted blend of topical jokes, nostalgic bits, odd news, and warm banter that never lingers too long before zipping to the next punchline or bizarre story. There’s something for fans of classic sketch, stand-up sensibility, and spontaneous real-life antics — just be prepared for plenty of bathroom humor and affectionate ribbing, sometimes all at once.

wavePod

The BOB & TOM Show- February 12. 2026