The BOB & TOM Show - February 18, 2026

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show – February 18, 2026

Episode Overview

Today's episode of The BOB & TOM Show is a rollicking blend of comedy, witty banter, listener letters, and weird news headlines. The crew dives into timely topics such as Ash Wednesday traditions, creative code words for sex, peculiar historical contraceptives, bizarre animal-based beer additives, and the 2026 Winter Olympic Games. As always, the cast—Tom Griswold, Chick McGee, Josh Arnold, Christy Lee, Pat Godwin, Ace Cosby, and guest Jess Hooker—pepper the show with jokes, musical spoofs, and the sort of irreverent takes that have become their trademark.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Opening Comedy Song: "Monster Ash"

• [00:28] The show opens with Josh singing a parody about Frankenstein, Dracula, and their friend Leslie attending Ash Wednesday church service. The "monster ash" bit plays on both Ash Wednesday and the classic "Monster Mash" song, setting up a playful mood.
  • Quote: “On top of that, they didn't realize it was Ash Wednesday. And to their surprise, they got the ash. They got the monster ash.” —Josh Arnold

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2. Ash Wednesday Traditions and Catholic Humor

• [03:07] Tom asks Christy about dealing with ashes when she has bangs, leading to a riff on how priests administer ashes through hair.
  • Quote: “Underneath it, Moses comes out and parts them.” —Josh Arnold [03:24]
• [04:07] Discussion on where churches get their ashes, with speculation about burning palm fronds versus buying ashes at Catholic supply stores.
• [05:22] Christy reveals she's “outgrown the fasting requirements,” referencing Catholic exemptions for people over 59.

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3. Throat Blessing and Random Religious Practices

• [05:39] The crew wonders whether the “throat blessing” is an Ash Wednesday thing. Christy explains it's a separate ritual, and the group riffs on altar boy memories and the oddity of such practices.

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4. Weird News: Beer With Animal Semen

• [06:20] Tom returns to a recurring story: beer containing various animal semen (deer, horse), prompting jokes about animal husbandry experts and the “sommelier” for semen.
  • Quote: “Maybe that's a cow. That's a horse. They've worked with it so much.” —Chick McGee [06:50]

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5. Giving Something Up For Lent

• [08:10] Discussion about what people give up for Lent—desserts, booze, cursing. Josh jokes about the term 'Lent' and its linguistic confusion (“I can’t lend that day”).
• [09:00] Christy tells a story about golfing with her parish priest, who swears on the golf course but never at the pulpit.
  • Quote: “He would never say the GD word. Everything else was pretty much apparent.” —Christy Lee [09:33]

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6. Olympic Sports Chat

• [10:17] Chick and Tom cover Olympic highlights: ski jumping, two-man bobsled (the Germans swept), and figure skating. Chick highlights the expensive engineering of bobsleds.
• [11:12] More on “Penis-gate” (ski jumpers’ uniform controversies) and “Vagina-gate.” It’s clear the crew delights in all things slightly inappropriate.

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7. Ancient Contraceptives and Sexual Folklore

• [13:56] Tom brings up unusual contraceptives used throughout history: grapefruit, lemons, and crocodile dung (which Egyptians used as a barrier).
  • Quote: "You chew it, there’ll be no conception, because there's not a woman that'll get near you." —Tom Griswold [14:28]
• [40:21] They bring up weasel testicles tied to women’s legs in the Dark Ages to prevent pregnancy.
• [41:37] Ancient Greeks believed in jumping and sneezing after sex for contraception.

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8. Listener Letters: Code Words for Sex

• [23:42] The gang reads listener submissions about secret code words for sex—like “balancing the checkbook” or “making a tuna fish sandwich.”
  • Quote: “Apparently that was their sex code word. Now do you want to make a tuna fish sandwich?” —Tom Griswold [24:23]

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9. Childhood Memories: Cuss Jars and Paper Routes

• [09:51] Chick and Josh joke about cuss jars at home and “the hand” or “knuckle sandwich” discipline for cursing.
• [20:12] Nostalgic stories about being paperboys, putting newspapers in doors, and wage disputes. Tom recalls a classic story involving a set of twins and a paper route, hilariously derailed by the rest of the cast for being too obscure.

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10. Comics & Code Words in Relationships

• [23:42] Emails about sexy code words (tuna sandwiches, balancing the checkbook, “helping with the taxes”), leading to riffs about plausible deniability for kids overhearing.

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11. Random News: Gadgets, Gifts & Product Endorsements

• Aura digital photo frames: Multiple mentions and endorsements, with the cast joking about photos, storage, and family tech support. [52:57]
• TurtleBox Outdoor Speakers: Tom marvels at outdoor speaker tech and its place on ski slopes. [125:12]
• Hyundai Palisade Hybrid Plug: Christy gives a car review, extolling its range and interior features. [133:59]

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12. More Listener Letters and Running Gags

• Recounting Chick’s legendary “retirement” fake-out. [43:08]
• Repeated callbacks to “the twins” story and the hosts’ collective confusion.
• Banter about code words, ancient contraception, and bodily function humor (e.g., bathroom logistics for men and women).

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13. Musical Interludes & Parodies

• Hialeah Cocaine Songs: Pat Godwin performs two comedic songs about bales of cocaine washing up in Florida's Hialeah, to gospel-style music.
  • Quote: “Cocaine washed up on the shore in Hialeah, selling it on the streets is a bad idea…” —Pat Godwin [47:45], [157:42]
• White Castle Date Song: Pat spoofs romantic ballads with “Dates at White Castle” about the realities of low-budget romance.
  • Memorable line: "Onion breath kisses from your cheapskate boyfriend." —Pat Godwin [107:11]

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14. Odd Science: Genetics and Radioactive Pigs

• [159:04] Christy reports on radioactive pigs from Fukushima breeding with wild boar, becoming “super pigs” and fueling both jokes and genuine curiosity from the cast.

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15. Sexy Time with Ali Breen

• [136:30] Relationship columnist Ali Breen tackles questions about inappropriate wedding attire, mismatched libidos, paternity doubts, and whether weekly “happy ending” massages count as cheating.
  • Memorable exchange:
    • Ali: “He definitely gets them with happy endings.”
    • Chick: “Hey, hey, hey, this isn’t a laughing matter!” [146:06]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• The Monster Ash Parody [00:28–01:40]: Josh and Tom alternate on vocals; “They got the monster ash / Them out at mass.”
• On church ashes:
  • Tom: “Do you have to push your bangs aside, or does the priest do it?” [03:15]
  • Josh: “Underneath it, Moses comes out and parts them.” [03:24]
• On ancient contraceptives:
  • Tom: “The ancient Egyptians would shove a crocodile deficant quote up there.” [14:44]
  • Christy: “Right, that’ll keep me away.” [14:23]
• On Lent and code words:
  • Christy: “Church attendance—Is that in there?”
  • Tom: “Self-denial.” [08:16]
  • Chick: “You want any of this before I put it away?” [28:14]
• On Olympic controversies:
  • Chick: “More controversy in the ski jumping. You’ve heard of the so-called penis-gate…” [11:12]
  • Chick: “What would you do if one of the penis-gate participants drank a beer with horse semen in it?” [11:26]
• On bathrooms:
  • Jess: “I thought that you would use your sack like a hammer stomach to lay your whole package…” [102:19]
  • Tom: “When your nuts hit the water, it’s time to go.” [101:44]

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Important Timestamps

• 00:28–01:40 – "Monster Ash" song parody
• 03:07 – Ash Wednesday and hair logistics
• 05:22 – Lent exemptions
• 06:20 – Beer with various animal semen
• 09:00 – Christy’s swearing priest story
• 10:17 – Olympic coverage
• 13:56 – Ancient contraception (crocodile dung)
• 23:42 – Listener code words for sex
• 43:08 – Chick’s fake retirement and football card gift
• 47:45, 157:42 – Pat Godwin's "Cocaine washed up on the shore in Hialeah" song
• 52:57 – Digital photo frame discussion
• 107:11 – Pat Godwin’s “Dates at White Castle” song
• 136:30–151:47 – Sexy Time with Ali Breen
• 159:04 – Radioactive pigs segment

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Episode Tone & Energy

The show is an energetic, freewheeling mix of comedy, pop culture, nostalgia, and blue-collar wisdom. The cast constantly interrupts, riffs, and builds on each other's jokes, giving listeners the feeling of hanging out with a particularly sharp and mischievous group of friends. The tone is playful, irreverent, sometimes a little racy, but always inclusive and fast-paced.

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Final Thoughts & Highlights

• Religiosity & Humor: The cast demonstrates how you can discuss religion with levity and respect: “It’s not anti-Christian, there’s a certain religiosity to it, but not in a negative way.” —Tom Griswold [03:50]
• Grounded by Listeners: Listener letters provide some of the best material, from code words for sex to stories about cussing and parenting.
• Unapologetically Irreverent: The BOB & TOM crew pull no punches when it comes to bodily function humor, odd science stories, or poking fun at each other’s non sequiturs and memory lapses.
• Jingle/Parody Heavy: Pat Godwin and the team’s musical numbers remain a signature highlight.
• Recurring Gags: The "twins" paperboy story, code words, and increasingly absurd asides keep both cast and audience on their toes.

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For First-time Listeners

This episode captures the essence of the BOB & TOM Show: witty, inappropriate, and always a step away from complete chaos—but in the best possible way. The rapid pace, long-running inside jokes, and authentic camaraderie make even the oddest news stories into must-hear comedy.

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For feedback or to submit your own sexy code word:
Email: [e-mail]
Or find Ali Breen at ALLIBREEN on social media

Featured musical comedians on tour:
Catch Emo Phillips & Tim Cavanaugh at the Columbus Funny Bone, Summit City (Fort Wayne), and Toledo.

This summary skips commercials, intros, and outros; focus is squarely on the original, hilarious content.

Transcript

[Chick McGee]

It's the bob and tom show.

[Josh Arnold]

Frankenstein, Dracula and their friend Leslie decided one day to go to church. They found intriguing the things they'd hear. The phrase body and blood had really caught their ear. The blazing candles made Frankie nervous. The crucifix distracted Drac from the service. On top of that, they didn't realize it was Ash Wednesday. And to their surprise, they got the ash. They got the monster ash.

[Tom Griswold]

The monster ash.

[Josh Arnold]

Them out at mass.

[Tom Griswold]

The monster ash.

[Josh Arnold]

Right after Mardi grasped S Y U s, they caught them on Sarash. It turned out to be a miraculous day. The three all repented and changed their ways. Dracula gave up sucking for Lent.

[Tom Griswold]

The Cleveland Browns did it.

[Josh Arnold]

That would be an event. They got the monster ash.

[Tom Griswold]

The monster ash.

[Josh Arnold]

They wore them with panache. A search went back and asked for a mustache.

[Pat Godwin]

They got the ash.

[Josh Arnold]

They got them on mustache. Drac, you've got something on your forehead. Let me get it. No, but it's a smudge. Look in the mirror. No, you can't look in the mirror.

[Chick McGee]

Caught my hair in my headphones, man. That'll wake you up.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

And it kind of turned me off. It's the mom and Tom show.

[Josh Arnold]

It hasn't happened to me in a while.

[Chick McGee]

We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, last time it happened to me, it was right below my belt. You know something that the days of not having pubic hair I've missed with just. Just that one moment.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, Christy.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi there.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, man. I'm Chick McGee. And Tom licking on his wooden stirring straw is beverage ready? Stick.

[Tom Griswold]

Stirring sticks.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Stirring.

[Tom Griswold]

The best way to drink tea or coffee.

[Chick McGee]

It's off of those.

[Christy Lee]

Sucking the stick.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they absorb a little bit. It's.

[Chick McGee]

You're sucking that stick, huh?

[Tom Griswold]

There you go.

[Chick McGee]

You got good form over there. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. You know, see your lips wrapped around that was little Timmy Kavanaugh and I believe his brother in law, Toomey, Mike Toomey is doing the. The.

[Chick McGee]

That's exactly right.

[Tom Griswold]

Doing that great voice celebrating Ash Wednesday. So now, Christy, will you be getting your ashes today?

[Christy Lee]

This evening, I have.

[Tom Griswold]

Now I have a question for you. You have bangs.

[Christy Lee]

I push them aside.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you have to do that or.

[Christy Lee]

Does the priest do that like this.

[Josh Arnold]

Underneath it, Moses comes out and parts them.

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Excuse me one second.

[Pat Godwin]

Right out of the gate.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a joke that could appear in both Readers Reader's Digest and Playboy.

[Josh Arnold]

And guidepost. Yeah, it's rare you get the joke that is in Playboy and guideposts.

[Chick McGee]

It's fine.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, it's. It's not. It's not anti Christian.

[Chick McGee]

It's.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a certain religiosity to it, but not in a negative way.

[Josh Arnold]

Of course not.

[Tom Griswold]

God, I feel like I'm an English class. That's a great joke. No. So you have to hold your hair back.

[Christy Lee]

No, they'll go underneath it like that.

[Chick McGee]

Do they ever take their thumb and go psych. They get close to your forehead. Psych.

[Christy Lee]

No, Christy.

[Josh Arnold]

The ashes are from last year's palms, Palm Sunday. Who? And where do they do the burning? Where do they turn them into ashes?

[Christy Lee]

Do you know they had a fire.

[Josh Arnold]

Pit outside each church?

[Tom Griswold]

That's kind of cool.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know if that's how all churches do it, right?

[Tom Griswold]

There's probably a store.

[Christy Lee]

Where you can buy ashes.

[Tom Griswold]

No, there's a store.

[Christy Lee]

Catholic supply store right here.

[Tom Griswold]

Catholic supply store. I bet they have them by the jar.

[Chick McGee]

Palm fronds.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know about that.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, not every place. Not every place it's legal to have an outside fire, especially with fire danger all over the country.

[Pat Godwin]

Right.

[Christy Lee]

They may have a fireplace inside the church.

[Chick McGee]

I don't think we can have an open fire in this county.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I imagine you're right, because the.

[Tom Griswold]

Each.

[Josh Arnold]

Each church is probably different.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm just saying. I bet there's a place you can go online and have it by tomorrow. Oh, wait a minute.

[Christy Lee]

Maybe a little late.

[Tom Griswold]

You should have ordered yesterday. You're gonna have to go with the Benson and Hedges and Marlborough.

[Josh Arnold]

You can get them 50% off tomorrow.

[Tom Griswold]

50?

[Chick McGee]

Or you. You get them today, and it's a miracle.

[Tom Griswold]

There you go. Oh, anyway, that was a Tim Cavanaugh on Mike to me. The. The Ash Wednesday song monster. I was supposed to say something right away here, and I can't remember what it was.

[Christy Lee]

You know, I've. This is terrible to say. I've outgrown the fasting requirements.

[Chick McGee]

For what? Yeah, they worry about you if you.

[Christy Lee]

Don'T eat after you're over 59.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

They can't have our. We can't have our elders not eating.

[Pat Godwin]

What is the throat blessing? Does that happen this week, too?

[Christy Lee]

No, that's different. Oh, a throat plus, they take the.

[Pat Godwin]

I was an altar boy. We did that.

[Christy Lee]

And they do the throat blessing.

[Josh Arnold]

That's.

[Christy Lee]

I'll look that up.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a sickness thing, right?

[Christy Lee]

The blessing of the throat.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, speaking of Throats. Coming up today, I did a little research and I have an update on yesterday's.

[Chick McGee]

Don't you dare. Yesterday's controversial story mention anything about.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, no.

[Chick McGee]

Ale lager, horses. Nothing.

[Tom Griswold]

We have an update on the.

[Chick McGee]

No, we don't.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, we do. All right.

[Josh Arnold]

On the.

[Tom Griswold]

The beer that contained horse semen.

[Josh Arnold]

This is the update that Jess is making us a bash.

[Chick McGee]

Not the update.

[Tom Griswold]

It's. It's really quite interesting.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

They did. There are some variations on the.

[Chick McGee]

Everybody who believes that stand on your head.

[Tom Griswold]

The deer semen and the horse semen and the beer deer. We'll be getting to that.

[Chick McGee]

Do you think there's somebody out there who's an expert in animal husbandry and they can tell semen from different animals?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, my gosh.

[Chick McGee]

Maybe that's a cow. That's a horse.

[Tom Griswold]

They've worked with it so much viscosity, the color.

[Chick McGee]

Just by looking at.

[Pat Godwin]

Smell like a Simonier.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. Well, you two can go. You've already nailed the two best jokes of the morning. Just. There's no point in sticking around. It's not gonna get any better than that.

[Chick McGee]

You know, there's quite a test. There's quite a test for sommeliers. They go through.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, it's amazing.

[Chick McGee]

They are really. Oh, what's this? Oh, it's Okie. And no, it's not.

[Josh Arnold]

No, it isn't.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, Just say notes of a lot.

[Tom Griswold]

Hints of leather. No, notes of pretentiousness.

[Chick McGee]

Like old cracker Jacks. Okay. Just.

[Tom Griswold]

Geez, that would be great if he. If he. Everything that the sommelier referenced was so. Yes, yes. Your Kit Kat. That would be interesting with a hint of bird seed.

[Chick McGee]

You know they have white chocolate Kit Kats.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

What? How long has this been going on, man?

[Josh Arnold]

Pretty good.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I hurt your teeth. They're so good.

[Josh Arnold]

I've had the white chocolate peanut butter cup. The Reese's.

[Chick McGee]

Well, I have not had that one yet.

[Josh Arnold]

And it was way better than I thought it was going to be.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that a lint thing?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. For I give up the chocolate. The regular ones for lens. And I said, no, I'm actually not. I'm Christian, but not Catholic. I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

Does Lent start today?

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

So, like, right now it's already up and running.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

So have you decided what you're going to give up? No, I have.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

Self denial.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm just giving up.

[Chick McGee]

But you're not supposed to let anybody borrow anything from you, right?

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Chick McGee]

I can't Lent that day.

[Josh Arnold]

Exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, Jesus.

[Christy Lee]

You bring that up because I found a list what to give up for lunch.

[Josh Arnold]

Really?

[Christy Lee]

And the last one on the list.

[Tom Griswold]

The church attendance is that in there.

[Christy Lee]

It says give up. Giving up. Hang in there, buddy.

[Josh Arnold]

Giving up.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow, that's depressing.

[Pat Godwin]

Running out of stuff.

[Josh Arnold]

Stop quitting, essentially.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, exactly.

[Pat Godwin]

Usually desserts and stuff and booze.

[Christy Lee]

No, this is. This is more of things you can do rather than.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, thank you.

[Christy Lee]

Like give up complaining.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, there's a. There's a. Of all my Catholic friends, a bunch of them give up cursing.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

There's something about the Catholic faith that really creates foul mouths.

[Christy Lee]

I believe that. Yeah, I grew up with that.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you the one that has. Are you the one that was playing golf with your friend who was the priest that. What, Tell that story?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. So I was playing golf one time with our parish priest and he let out a big one.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, really?

[Christy Lee]

I looked at him and I went, what? He goes, I can't curse on the pulpit, but I can do it right here on the golf course. He would never say the GD word.

[Josh Arnold]

Sure.

[Christy Lee]

Everything else was pretty much apparent.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there you go.

[Christy Lee]

I reserve the right to do it on the golf course.

[Josh Arnold]

Even golf brings out the worst.

[Pat Godwin]

Like the big one. He said a big one?

[Christy Lee]

No, he didn't say the big one, but he still. I mean, it was pretty to come from your priest.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I told you this. We had a cuss jar when I was a kid, my mom and dad and I. And you had to put a dollar in every time you used a cuss word. It did not last long. They tried. Yeah, they tried.

[Josh Arnold]

My dad had a cuss hand. If any of us costly, you got.

[Tom Griswold]

To meet the hand up close. Okay, good.

[Chick McGee]

You're gonna meet the hand, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

A knuckle sandwich is what he would say.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, we have your letters. Certainly looking forward to that. A lot of exciting things going on in the world. Part of the. Did you watch any of the Olympics yesterday?

[Chick McGee]

I did. I find myself watching replays of the big hill and ski jumping. I just.

[Christy Lee]

It's amazing, actually.

[Chick McGee]

I watched the. The two man bob and we were. Had the gold there for a while and then it finished. One, two, three Germans.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, wow.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, those Germans. They know how to build a bobsled. You know those bobsleds they took cost like a F1 car. They're unbelievable. Yeah, they have wind tunnel tests and all sorts of stuff.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's really quite something.

[Josh Arnold]

Watch a lot of the short form figure skating. The girls.

[Chick McGee]

Yes. Blade Angels did not do very well last night.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, the Three.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Did any of them end up on the podium?

[Chick McGee]

No. Well, it's not done yet.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, it's not? Okay.

[Chick McGee]

They're like four. I forget which one is fourth and then. And we have eighth and 19th or something.

[Tom Griswold]

More controversy in the ski jumping. You've heard of the so called penis gate issue about the uniforms? There's another controversy involving a very small, tiny little amount of something.

[Josh Arnold]

Vagina gate.

[Chick McGee]

What would you do if one of the penis gate participants drank a beer with horse semen in it? Would you just lose your mind? Wow, that's something else. Right?

[Tom Griswold]

Great news story, but we have both of them coming up now.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, by the way, pat your throat. Blessing apparently was two weeks ago.

[Pat Godwin]

Two weeks ago.

[Josh Arnold]

It's a year of strep for you.

[Tom Griswold]

Right now. I want to remind you that our letter segment is on the way. You can reach us, Bob and [e-mail].

[Josh Arnold]

We have a letter from England today. One of our friends across the pond.

[Chick McGee]

Hello. Hello, Hello. All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Now I want to remind you about. This is kind of a French word, I guess. Rouge yet Rouge yet ready. What am I talking about? Well, it's R u g I E t. Getting rougy at ready involves your appearance in the bedroom. Sometimes the stresses of life can take away a certain something and perhaps you'd like to get that back. Well, for situations like that, doctors have come up with a bunch of treatments. I'm sure you've heard about them by now. And this is a really interesting, a new twist on it. It's called being rougy yet ready. What is rougiet? It is a next generation prescription treatment designed to help increase blood flow and prime your brain for arousal. It works with three ingredients in one. It's in like a mint. You stick it under your tongue, it absorbs quickly. Most men are ready for action in the bedroom in about 15 minutes. Stay in the moment, stay confident when the time is right. Over 150,000 men have already tried rougiette. Once again, it's R U G I E t. I keep spelling it for you because I want you to go to rug yet.com Bob and Tom to get more information. The way it works is you'll get there and you'll get connected to a doctor online and if you meet the requirements, bingo, you're in business and it will be shipped discreetly to your door. Once again, it's rougiet.com bobandtom r u g I e t. 15% off. By the way, if you use The Bob and Tom thing once again. R u G I e t rougiet.com bobandtom and it's time to take back your health. Time to feel confident in the bedroom. Individual results may vary. Rouge yet ready is a compounded prescription and therefore is not FDA approved. Find out about all the safety information by visiting rougiet.com once again r u g I e t rugier.com bobandtom a lot of exciting things going on. We're gonna hear from Chick Magee at the sports desk. We have a number of news stories involving seamen of various sorts.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

It's fascinating. I don't know why it's in the news. Plus I have an unusual. I did a little homework. An unusual history of contraception. Oh, quite interesting. Some of the things that were used over the years, for example grapefruit, lemon, something like that. Crocodile dung.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, that's totally. You know what that keep me away.

[Tom Griswold]

You chew it, you'll. There'll be no conception because there's not a woman that'll get near you. Oh, hey, there's crocodile dung breath.

[Christy Lee]

I was thinking the other crocodile dung.

[Tom Griswold]

D when you put it, wouldn't you.

[Christy Lee]

Put it up in there? So no guy would go, yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, wow. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

The ancient Egyptians would shove a crocodile deficant quote up there. This is from the BBC. To create a barrier to really want it.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

This says up there to create a barrier that ejaculate could not cross.

[Josh Arnold]

I like to think that it was a crocodile because the Egyptian men. Did you use crocodile dog? No, no, I just used my own. Well, that's not going to work, you idiot.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, boy.

[Tom Griswold]

You probably knocked her.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Josh Arnold]

Any dung ladies will work to keep a man away.

[Tom Griswold]

Who is the shaman that decided? Okay, these morons were so stupid. I'm going to tell him. Crocodile dung just so they have to run out near the river to get it. That's the other thing.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, he's a brave man. Did you, oh, did he come back with. With food? No, he brought back crocodile dung. Now he can get the old in out going. We'll be right back with more contraceptive news and your letters. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee Hello. With a snazzy drapery pull as a necklace. That was very nice.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you.

[Chick McGee]

Way to purpose that. Repurpose something.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Tom Griswold]

That does look like something. You'd walk in and you'd yank on it and a bell would ring or something.

[Chick McGee]

She'd look at you and go, take your pants off. Close the drapes. There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Close the drape.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace cosby. I'm chick mcgee. Hello, tom.

[Josh Arnold]

1 1. Airbnb. It was actually a bed and breakfast. It was really old bed and breakfast in the middle of Missouri somewhere. I was doing this comedy show, and that's where they put you up. And the toilet was one of those that had a flusher like that.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Josh Arnold]

It was on a long chain.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh. Like in the Godfather where the tank.

[Josh Arnold]

Is way up high and it was a box up high. And that's the only time I've ever used one of those.

[Chick McGee]

I'm sure there's some way you can get one of those installed now. Right.

[Christy Lee]

What's the purpose of that?

[Tom Griswold]

I assume it was the force of gravity having it on the. Must have been.

[Chick McGee]

And I bet it clogs less than. Although we had a story while you were gone. That Glacier Bay toilet can flush seven billiard balls.

[Christy Lee]

Why did you.

[Chick McGee]

Why did you tell him 7 billion.

[Pat Godwin]

Got to get those for the house.

[Chick McGee]

And there's. There's a video online if you'd like to watch it. It's really something.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, the guy that was pooping the billiard balls, is he okay now?

[Chick McGee]

They were actually. He feels a lot using billiards.

[Tom Griswold]

Boy, that. What a relief, huh?

[Josh Arnold]

Now we haven't.

[Tom Griswold]

When I have one like that, I gotta call somebody.

[Josh Arnold]

Unfortunately, he hasn't yet crapped out the racking triangle.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, coming up, we have.

[Chick McGee]

There's 16 more to go. Oh, my God.

[Tom Griswold]

Speaking of having things stuck, we have something coming up up in the world of beer pong, where something went amiss. You'll hear about that coming up. It eventually involved surgery.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So we'll find out about that.

[Chick McGee]

Emails from our listeners.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and top show. Tom mentioned he had an aura frame at his house.

[Tom Griswold]

Aura. Sure do.

[Chick McGee]

We love. I ordered one yesterday afternoon. I treated myself. I said, hey, well done. I'm gonna grab one of these. Tom said he had an aura frame before. It's in his house. Is possibly the aura frame set up at the receptionist desk where the waiting room is right off the gift shop? Love the show. That's Eric in Memphis, New York.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, man.

[Chick McGee]

There's a Memphis, New York.

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't know that.

[Chick McGee]

I did not know that.

[Tom Griswold]

No. You walk in my house. I've got a entrance from my garage into the house. You take a left turn and it's right there.

[Chick McGee]

People who live in a house don't ever use the front door. Have you noticed that?

[Christy Lee]

No, you're right.

[Chick McGee]

I never use my front door.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I use my garage door more.

[Chick McGee]

So absolutely.

[Christy Lee]

I get packages off the front porch. That's about it.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, and I'm running into a problem.

[Tom Griswold]

That's true, by the way. You're right. I agree with you.

[Josh Arnold]

By the way, Memphis, New York is where Elvis Mitchell lived. That's a joke.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, nice. For four people. I like Helva. Former. Former film critic at NPR at Elvis Mitchell.

[Chick McGee]

Here's the thing. When I get packages, sometimes they bring them up and I'm in a super ranch, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Super ranch.

[Chick McGee]

And there's a lower level where you pull into the garage, but then there's kind of an upper level where you go up a hill and there's a. There's my front porch. Well, they have started to put. Drop everything off the garage door down in the driveway.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't blame them.

[Chick McGee]

Instead of. Of course you wouldn't blame him because it's happening to me.

[Josh Arnold]

So now when you go to pull in, are there boxes in the way or.

[Chick McGee]

I'll get. I'll get something. Go out the front porch. You go. It's not. Now it's down laying in the driveway.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Thanks a lot.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you want him to come inside and open it for you?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

How it looks.

[Josh Arnold]

You're not being unreasonable.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, no. Everyone's hearing Tom is my best salesman. For him being insane, I'm just letting him run.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, why should they have to.

[Josh Arnold]

Run up your steps because you deliver them to the porch?

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

How many of you guys. I was a paper boy for years.

[Chick McGee]

Well, this is exactly the same.

[Josh Arnold]

You were a good paper boy.

[Tom Griswold]

You had to put them in the door.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, really?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Just throw from your bike.

[Chick McGee]

That's exactly what I'm saying. You didn't throw it in the driveway, did you? Confusing term as a paper boy.

[Tom Griswold]

We renegotiated and I said, this is bull crap. I'm gonna throw it in the.

[Josh Arnold]

And by the way, the tiny paperboy union.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Did that ever bother you? Oh, we were big. When I look back on how little money we made doing.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, sure, yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

It was pennies.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. I mean, it must have been nickels.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Dimes I do have one great paperboy story of all the years. I did it.

[Josh Arnold]

You lost your virginity to a girl.

[Pat Godwin]

Lady brought you.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I wit. No.

[Chick McGee]

You want to come in and collect?

[Tom Griswold]

I was.

[Chick McGee]

Close the door.

[Pat Godwin]

See what's on page six.

[Chick McGee]

Be sure and close the drinks.

[Tom Griswold]

It's pitch black early in the morning and you're all carrying these papers. And I was at. I. I actually. I know the names of these people, so I still remember them. We'll just call her Debbie S. And Debbie S. Was gifted early on in life.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

You know what I'm saying?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, sure. It reminds me of Debbie. Yabo.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, of course.

[Chick McGee]

Big hammers.

[Josh Arnold]

Is that where that came from?

[Tom Griswold]

And the. I'm trying to think of how you describe it. What are those? The boards jutting out from a house.

[Pat Godwin]

Running.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but with no canvas over it. Just the boards.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Like a pergola.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, like a pergola. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. This house was the last one on Duffield Road on the left, and there was a pergola. So I'm. And I'm walking underneath it. I put the paper at the front door. I'm walking underneath. It's whatever, six in the morning, and it's pitch black, and a guy jumps out the window onto the thing right in front of me.

[Josh Arnold]

That must have been terrifying.

[Tom Griswold]

Scared the living. And it was. And it was one of the twins whose names I also remember, but I won't say. And he looked at me and he goes, hey, guess what I just did.

[Chick McGee]

He said that?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. And then he ran off. He said he had. He had a. I guess. Ian. Debbie. Yeah. Yeah. But that scared the hell. Hella.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no. There's no way it didn't. Yeah. I would be horrified.

[Tom Griswold]

Every time I see one of those pergolas, I think about one of the twins. But whatever happened to those guys.

[Chick McGee]

But, you know, we have no knowledge of you just saying the twins, and.

[Josh Arnold]

We just kind of went, okay.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. When he says the twins. Oh, we all.

[Tom Griswold]

I should also point out, identical, so.

[Chick McGee]

And he's making it worse, so I'm not sure which one it was. Once again, Tom, your memories aren't everyone's memory.

[Tom Griswold]

Anyone doing a little bit of research could figure out who these two guys were.

[Chick McGee]

You remember the twins?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, let's. Let's move forward here.

[Pat Godwin]

Sarah's brothers.

[Tom Griswold]

I have a. I have a letter here. Oh, first off, real quick, we opened the show with a little Timmy Cavanaugh. He's going to be on stage tonight with Emo Phillips at the Columbus Funny Bone.

[Josh Arnold]

Nice.

[Tom Griswold]

He's also going to be at Fort Wayne at the Summit City Comedy Club and the Toledo Funny Bone all coming up. So be on the lookout for that for some great stuff. And we just got a letter yesterday about someone that had seen Tim and Emo and how funny. How funny they are. Emo is really a legend in the world of stand up comedy. Now we were talking yesterday about code words.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you have a code word if you're trying to get out of a situation or perhaps it's a sexy time? Do you have. Do you have something you might say, Right. And Chris, you said you do not. You don't have like a.

[Christy Lee]

Not really.

[Chick McGee]

Well, there's no one around there how. They don't have to speaking code.

[Christy Lee]

I think my husband said, hey, that was it.

[Chick McGee]

Get them legs in the air. Let's do this.

[Tom Griswold]

Mike from southern Oregon says, I work with a guy. He said his wife would make him a tuna fish sandwich for work and would tell us what it meant. Apparently that was their sex code word. Now do you want to make a tuna fish sandwich?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh. Or would he open his lunchbox? See that she prepared. And he went, oh, I'm getting laid tonight.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's what it was.

[Christy Lee]

That's the signal.

[Tom Griswold]

I see.

[Chick McGee]

That's a fun. That's fine.

[Christy Lee]

That is fun. That gives you something to look forward to.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Although when you get home.

[Pat Godwin]

Sandwich.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. When you get home and she's. Brentz. I'm sorry, baby, I had that for lunch.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no, that was from Steve, my side piece. I see. Well, Mike, I'm sorry I screwed this up. Mike enjoying his tuna fish sandwich.

[Josh Arnold]

Have you guys heard this? Venice writes in. What a cool name that is, by the way.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Josh Arnold]

He said he was talking to a coworker after a particularly long week, and he said, you're gonna go home and finish off a few cold beers without missing a beat. My co worker said, no, I'm gonna go home and play with the box my kids came in.

[Tom Griswold]

How about that?

[Chick McGee]

Tom?

[Josh Arnold]

That is. I have not heard that one.

[Tom Griswold]

Not at all objectifying.

[Chick McGee]

That gentleman has a way with words.

[Tom Griswold]

This says, this is from wow. Clap Saddle, anybody.

[Chick McGee]

It's the name of the city or the guy or the person.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, oh, that's his name.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Christy Lee]

Clap Saddle.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Is he one of the twins?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

Clap Saddle.

[Tom Griswold]

I have never heard that name. That's great. Mike says so.

[Chick McGee]

It's Mike Clapsadle.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. All right. There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. He has two names. It's a tradition in Western civilization.

[Pat Godwin]

Don't start with the last name.

[Chick McGee]

Did he kind of say, don't use my name?

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's just that he. He wrote his nickname in parentheses between the two, so I wasn't sure where I thought that was.

[Chick McGee]

What's his nickname?

[Tom Griswold]

Mike Clap.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, by Clap. Clap Saddle.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

They call him Clap.

[Tom Griswold]

They call him Clap.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, Clap.

[Christy Lee]

So his last name's Saddle?

[Tom Griswold]

No. Last name is Clap. Saddle.

[Josh Arnold]

Clap is short for Clap.

[Tom Griswold]

I. Who knows?

[Chick McGee]

Did you hit your head somewhere before you could. Of all the things you feel like you have to walk us through.

[Josh Arnold]

If you haven't yet hit your head, I volunteer.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, you all of a sudden just tell this dumbass story about you delivering papers on what? You know, it was one of the twins. We don't know who you're talking about.

[Pat Godwin]

I was under the pergol.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, you're in height when you're in high school and a guy jumps out in front of you from the above you while delivering papers.

[Chick McGee]

Not just any guy. One of the twins.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I mean, that's so. I never did know which one it was because they were identical twins. Did I tell you?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah, you told. Well, we all know.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm sorry, what is. What does Clap have to say?

[Tom Griswold]

He says, back to the topic of code words. He says, back when we had three young boys in the house, our. Our code word was kids, mom and I need to balance the checkbook.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, all right.

[Chick McGee]

That's pretty good.

[Tom Griswold]

And there's another one that's. That's very similar to that. Apparently, accounting is the. Is the way to go with. With this sort of code word thing when. When my wife and I want to do it. Right, right. Writes Adam from Defiance, Ohio.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, sure.

[Christy Lee]

My friend from grade schools from.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a college. There's a college there.

[Chick McGee]

No, nobody agrees with anybody there.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no, they don't.

[Tom Griswold]

That is kind of. Kind of a.

[Christy Lee]

Morning, Diane.

[Tom Griswold]

It's kind of a. I don't know. You drive into town, Defiance. All right? You just got an attitude. He goes, my wife, I would ask her if she wants to, quote, help me with our taxes.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

All right. Well, There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

1069. You know, you got your 1040. You see?

[Josh Arnold]

Is she easy?

[Tom Griswold]

That was Adam. Adam. I believe Josh is suggesting your wife.

[Josh Arnold]

I didn't suggest. I just asked.

[Chick McGee]

I have another phrase. Phrase I suggested for people to get laid at home. You want any of this before I put it away?

[Josh Arnold]

And then you created one Monday. Do you remember the one you created?

[Chick McGee]

I don't remember Monday.

[Josh Arnold]

Have a snow cone. In the backyard.

[Chick McGee]

That's what they're talking about. Hey, chick. Last night I got home and in my sexiest bedroom voice, I asked my wife, hey, you want to come eat a snow cone in the backyard? And she started laughing and asked, what the hell does that even mean? I told her, I have no clue. But it sounds dirty, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Right, Right. The answer is there is kind of no answer.

[Chick McGee]

And after we finished laughing, we proceeded to have sex each other. There you go. A happy ending. That's from Edward Ruprecht Ruprecht Monkey Boy in Albuquerque, New Mexico. There you go.

[Christy Lee]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, thank you very much. Now, how does one reach us?

[Christy Lee]

Christy Lee, Bob and Tom at bob and tom.com.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good. Thank you very much.

[Josh Arnold]

I have this letter from England we can get to.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, good. We've got a couple letters here too, right now.

[Josh Arnold]

You've already read a couple letters. I have one too.

[Tom Griswold]

I have a couple more letters. We want to come back and just do your letter from England. That's fine with me.

[Chick McGee]

And remember, we'll when we come back, we'll be back here when we return. But first we'll be here simply.

[Tom Griswold]

Will you be where you are?

[Chick McGee]

We all want that device. We all want peace of mind and quiet at home with your security system.

[Josh Arnold]

Sometimes you want quiet at work, boy, don't you?

[Chick McGee]

I'm a big fan of Simply Safe. I've had my units over 10 years, easy to set up at home. I did it myself and you can do it too. Plus we use Simplisafe here at the Bob and Tom studio. Traditional security systems only take action after somebody's already broken into your house and touching your stuff. That of course is way too late. SimpliSafe has active guard outdoor protection can help prevent break ins before they happen. AI powered cameras backed by live professional monitoring agents monitor your property and detect suspicious activity. If you have a lurker, somebody acting suspiciously, agents can see and talk to them in real time, turn on spotlights, even contact the police. All before they have a chance to get inside your home. No long term contracts or cancellation fees. Monitoring plans start about a dollar a day, 60 day satisfaction guarantee or your money back. And named best home security system by U.S. news and World Report. Five years in a row and ranked number one in customer service by both Newsweek and USA Today. Why wait? Protect your home today and enjoy 50% off. A new SimpliSafe system with professional monitoring. That's 50% off. Just go to simplisafetom.com that is simplisafetom.com for 50% off. There's no safe like Simplisafe.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much, Chick. Coming up, we have first dates and is it okay to go for fast food and a first date? Survey says we'll find out. Also, radioactive pigs in the news.

[Josh Arnold]

Whoa.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, kind of, kind of interesting. This is involving the Fukushima power plant, oh, about 15 years ago, went haywire. Yeah, well, that's a nice word. And we'll find out about what's happening with the. With the pigs that are apparently doing what pigs do and why it's so interesting right now. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Just gotta get a hold of us. Call, text or email. Get all the contact information you [e-mail]. this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee at the news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi there.

[Chick McGee]

Ace Cosby's here. Hey, I'm Chick McGee and hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, Chick McGee.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, sir.

[Tom Griswold]

People to hang on to things that we say on this show for the longest time.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Chick, in a rare event, complimented me on my grilled chicken.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, sure, yeah. He said it was great.

[Chick McGee]

I never will forget it.

[Tom Griswold]

Very simple recipe.

[Chick McGee]

Delicious.

[Tom Griswold]

Throw boneless, preferably boneless, chicken thighs, chicken breasts into a plastic bag. Throw in something as simple as Italian dressing from Wishbone. Marinate it for a while, grill them for many years. I heard that Tom made amazing grilled chicken marinated in Italian dressing. Sit this one out, Josh, because I.

[Josh Arnold]

Know my thoughts on this. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

You do not like marinade. You're anti marinade.

[Josh Arnold]

People who don't know how to grill correctly.

[Tom Griswold]

So my teenage boys are chicken nugget, fries and ketchup guys. However, I tried Tom's recipe. I couldn't eat any because the boys ate it all.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that's a huge win for a parent, isn't it?

[Christy Lee]

That is big.

[Tom Griswold]

The boys ate all the cheese chickens.

[Josh Arnold]

Nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Then she concludes, tom, you're like a broken clock occasionally. Right? Thank you. Thank you very much. I appreciate that.

[Josh Arnold]

I've heard more than one pediatrician say, let your kids whatever they want to eat.

[Chick McGee]

Just no kidding.

[Josh Arnold]

Because kids, in a way, what I mean is kids can be the pickiest eaters. Impossibly picky. They're just let them. Whatever they want to eat, just let them. So long as they're eating.

[Pat Godwin]

So true.

[Christy Lee]

Well, I was always taught when My kids were little, just keep presenting it like six times. But they may finally pick up the broccoli and eat it.

[Josh Arnold]

So congratulations to that guy. But this just goes. This also kind of proves my point that the palate of a child is. That's why you marinate.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't do it for.

[Chick McGee]

I see.

[Tom Griswold]

So you don't care for marinating.

[Josh Arnold]

I think it's for people who are. They don't know. Especially chicken. A properly grilled piece of plain chicken is delicious, but those who don't know how to do it have to use marinade.

[Pat Godwin]

What about a chicken piccata? You don't like a chicken piccata?

[Josh Arnold]

That's not necessarily a marinade so much as a sauce.

[Chick McGee]

It's a recipe.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, it is a sauce.

[Pat Godwin]

What's the difference?

[Josh Arnold]

Marinade goes first and it soaks in it.

[Chick McGee]

You ever have a cup of coffee with.

[Tom Griswold]

I hate that accent.

[Josh Arnold]

Coffee with a saucer. You want to hear from England?

[Announcer]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

This is coming from the uk.

[Josh Arnold]

This is coming from our friend Martin. He leaves. He lives in East Cheshire. England.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Beautiful country.

[Josh Arnold]

I Forgot that their zip codes are wacky over there. Numbers and letters.

[Chick McGee]

NW9843.

[Josh Arnold]

And their license plates are real long and.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Anywho, he says, I listened with great interest to yesterday's show about hot beef injection.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, hello.

[Josh Arnold]

I didn't know this. You know what? This is an ugly American moment for me. I didn't realize this reached across the pond. The phrase hot beef injection. I thought that was a primarily an American thing.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, so unfortunately, it's across the ocean. How sad.

[Josh Arnold]

Rabies hasn't made it to Hawaii, but hot beef injection has made it to Great Britain. Anyhow, during my senior year, my friends Dan, Bob and I decided to cook and sell beef burgers to raise money for charity.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Any profit we made was to go to good causes. As part of promoting the event, we put up posters around the school that said hot beef injection. And they were in seventh grade burgers for sale at lunchtime. One pound. It was the 90s, so prices were cheaper. Needless to say, the teachers quickly noticed, gave us a bullocking and took the posters down immediately. In the end, we made no profit. So nothing was raised for charity. Partly because the poster campaign got shut down by the teachers and partly because we ate a lot of the burgers ourselves.

[Tom Griswold]

Sounds like a good project.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. Love your show. Please send me a lot of merchandise.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, did the burgers cost a pound or were they one pound burger?

[Josh Arnold]

I bet they cost less than A pound. And they were going to make a little margin there.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Because it's a little bit confusing. You've got your pounds and your pounds.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I see.

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't understand when he said where the.

[Josh Arnold]

So one pound. I'm sorry, the burgers cost one pound.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

But I thought I said things were.

[Christy Lee]

You did.

[Chick McGee]

Cheaper than hot beef injection. Doesn't. Doesn't really lend itself to. Hey, you want a burger?

[Josh Arnold]

But that's seventh grade logic, isn't it?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

These silly lads were going, hey, yeah, we're gonna call this the hot beef injection.

[Tom Griswold]

I see. Now, once again, today is Ash Wednesday and Christie has already explained to us that. I was just asking the simple question because Christie has bangs and glasses. They just go underneath to access the. They forehead. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

So they have it down, they're quick.

[Tom Griswold]

And then what's the rule? You have to wear it all day long.

[Chick McGee]

You can't wash it off.

[Christy Lee]

They prefer that. Yeah, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

It's supposed to come off naturally.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

When you shower, it can come off because that's what something you would do, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Ex. Last year I was at Home Depot and I saw this guy and I said, oh, did you go to church and get your ashes today? And he goes, no, I'm a Baptist with furnace trouble.

[Josh Arnold]

So he was down there tinkering and my gosh, if it didn't.

[Christy Lee]

I know exactly what.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm a chimney sweep.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Jewish chimney sweep.

[Tom Griswold]

Didn't you, didn't you have to hire a chimney sweep last year?

[Josh Arnold]

Me? Yeah, years ago.

[Chick McGee]

I need to hire one.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, not a chimney sweep, but a chimney.

[Chick McGee]

Anybody. But Christie recommends somebody pointing and some.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, a friend of mine emailed me, goes, yeah, one of your guys on the show had a chimney sweep. Can you get me the person's name?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. Yeah, I can't find it. If you're listening, dude, I need your contact info.

[Tom Griswold]

I guess you've got a. This guy's got an older house and you got to check the inside of the chimney or something.

[Christy Lee]

Sure, absolutely. You should have cleaned out every year.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Every six months. I like to clean it out after every fire is what I do.

[Josh Arnold]

That seems real.

[Chick McGee]

Well, it goes along with when I. I change my oil. Every time I get gas, it's the same. I don't leave anything to chance. You know that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and Tom show, A couple of months ago, I shared a list of things that I have and don't have in common with all of you. I feel like I neglected Chick and Tom. So here we go. Chick I have in common. I also had a parent who used the word twiced instead of twice and not in common. I've never marred an Easter egg hunt with obscenities.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, for those who are not familiar with that story, Chick and his buddies. What did you do? Written messages inside Easter eggs.

[Chick McGee]

They wrapped up marshmallow eggs, the multicolored marshmallow eggs, and they put little strips of paper like fortune cookies. And they had. You've won $20 gift certificate. Well, back there, $5 gift certificate. A local merchant. And we put, your mother just won five rubbers or something like that.

[Josh Arnold]

And.

[Tom Griswold]

You distributed them in the park where the kids were.

[Chick McGee]

And it happened. The Easter egg hunt was Sunday morning, and it was in the paper Monday afternoon that my obscenities had marred an Easter egg.

[Tom Griswold]

And we have a copy of that paper. Someone actually dug that up somewhere.

[Chick McGee]

My attorney, Joe dug that up. Tom. In common.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I've also gotten to ride in the Goodyear blimp.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, cool.

[Chick McGee]

Not in common, I have a female friend who looks just like former Olympic snowboarder Shaun White.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Chick McGee]

However, I've never said to her, do you know that you look exactly like Shaun White?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. No, don't do that.

[Chick McGee]

Like you did at the waitress that we was serving us lunch one day and you said, do you know you look like NASCAR driver Jimmy Spencer?

[Tom Griswold]

I guess that wasn't really a compliment.

[Chick McGee]

Not really.

[Ali Breen]

And.

[Chick McGee]

And she quit. And no one's seen her since or heard from her.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. Sorry. Yeah, we gotta hold back. Not every idea is good. Now, earlier we were talking about ancient contraceptive methods. We discussed the Egyptians, who this is, I think, fairly well known, that they would use. Excuse me, crocodile dung.

[Chick McGee]

I've heard that before.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I think we mentioned.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, well, this is from the BBC. This is an article about odd forms of contraception.

[Chick McGee]

BBC.

[Tom Griswold]

In European. Excuse me, In Europe, in the Dark Ages, people believe that weasel's testicles strapped to a woman's leg would ward off unwanted pregnancy.

[Chick McGee]

Huh. How bizarre.

[Tom Griswold]

So would you have to have some kind of apparatus. Hey, honey, I'm kind of in the mood. I'll go get the weasel testicles. Can you find the testicle holder? Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

What?

[Christy Lee]

Whoa.

[Chick McGee]

What kind of conversation? Well, you know what does keep you from getting pregnant? Tie some weasel testicles around your ankle.

[Tom Griswold]

But again. Oh, really? Much like the crocodile dong, though, you have to get the weasel testicle.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's.

[Christy Lee]

Well, you know, there was some merchant that was real up to his knees in weasel testicles that was selling them.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's a good theory.

[Chick McGee]

I have newt and frog's heart and all sorts of stuff.

[Christy Lee]

You had a guy.

[Tom Griswold]

And again, you got all the people in China that still still want to get ground up. Whatever.

[Christy Lee]

Rhino.

[Tom Griswold]

Rhino horns and all that stuff.

[Josh Arnold]

That does work.

[Tom Griswold]

The ancient Greeks believed that jumping up and squatting up and down right after sexy time would stop the seed from entering a lady's uterus.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, you got to get it out.

[Josh Arnold]

I still kind of believe that.

[Chick McGee]

And that makes sense almost.

[Tom Griswold]

But you're also, at the end of the first round, you're supposed to sneeze to, quote, consolidate things. Got this, ladies. You jump up and down and then sneeze.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay?

[Tom Griswold]

Now, this didn't work, of course, until the 20th century when they developed Pepsi Cola.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Josh Arnold]

Shake one up and put it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But Diet Pepsi, though. You have twins. Isn't that odd? Very few people know that. When we come back.

[Chick McGee]

Just can't muster up a sneeze, though. You have to wait for it.

[Josh Arnold]

I know. Maybe they would use snuff or pepper.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but it's. It's squatting and sneezing. When we come back, we will be checking in with the sporting scene with Mr. McGee.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, we have more semen news of all things today and a great news story that's going to lead to a great song, one of my favorites from Pat Godwin. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Hoosier history, baby. Indiana goes undefeated and wins the national championship. Own the limited edition championship football. Call 800-345-2868. Now that's 800-345-2868. When they're gone, they're gone. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

At the news center, there's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Guitar and organ in hand, there's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi there.

[Chick McGee]

Ace Cosby's here. I am Chick McGee with a letter from a listener. Snail mail. Snail mail, actually. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

Yes. Dear Chick, this says, I hope this letter and the accompanying package find you. Well, I've been a listener of the show since around the late 90s. Earliest memories, laughing to the Mr. Obvious show. I've considered you, Chick, to be my favorite radio host personality. Everything from rants that annoy Tom to mental breakdowns. Naturally, I was very disappointed to learn of your upcoming retirement now here's what happened, okay. Before we. We always take a couple weeks at Christmas, right? Because we're all very religious. And every year, the last thing I say, I'm. I'm retiring. Thanks, everybody. And I seems more this year than ever people believed me that I was retiring because I've done it like four or five years in a row. So now I feel bad. This Joshua was disappointed, upset, and sent me a retirement gift.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Chick McGee]

So what do I do? Do I send the gift back or do I keep it?

[Tom Griswold]

No, I keep it. This is like a band doing its last tour.

[Chick McGee]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

And then they. The farewell tour. Then there's another farewell tour and it's.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, and we all get annoyed that we keep spending money on those farewell tours. Yes, Josh is going to be annoyed. You have to send that back.

[Chick McGee]

No, I think I'm.

[Tom Griswold]

What's the gift?

[Chick McGee]

Therefore, as a small token for the years of entertainment on your retirement, I give you a 2024 PSA graded sweet baby Jaden football trading card. Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

No, you can't send it back.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you for all the years of laughter Joshua Thompson. So thank you, Josh. And look at that. It's sealed in plastic twice.

[Tom Griswold]

That's one of your favorite players.

[Chick McGee]

And he is my favorite player for. Well, we'll see how he does this year. I might be screaming.

[Josh Arnold]

It's a very nice gift.

[Chick McGee]

Get rid of that loser.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay, we. I think so.

[Chick McGee]

Thanks again, Josh.

[Tom Griswold]

Now you realize, well, you know, he just has to retire. Oh, he can keep it if he quits.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, no.

[Pat Godwin]

What would I do then?

[Chick McGee]

Let's not do that. What else up with stuff every day. No more.

[Tom Griswold]

What now, Pat, we have a story coming up that leads to a different story. But I thought.

[Chick McGee]

All right, does it have to do with the twins?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Christy Lee]

And can you please leads to a song.

[Chick McGee]

Can you please explain the twins real quick? You never. The stuff you walk us through. Now you under. You're familiar with a shower?

[Tom Griswold]

You know, I did. I went to junior high school. Okay. With the among. There was a set of identical. There were a couple of. But there was a set of identical twins that I went to junior high school.

[Chick McGee]

And you just assume everyone knew who you were talking about?

[Tom Griswold]

No, but it didn't really matter. The story was I was delivering papers in the dark one morning and one of the twins jumped out of the window.

[Christy Lee]

Junior high.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no. This was in high school years later.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

But I recognized them.

[Christy Lee]

Gotcha.

[Tom Griswold]

The point is I was delivering papers and he jumped out of the window. The off the pergola whatever. Right in front of me, scared because he had just been servicing Debbie S. Who, I mean, talk about a bold move. Sleeping over at her parents house on a school night.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, he might have fallen asleep, accidentally wake up.

[Tom Griswold]

That was the story that I told an hour ago. But we have a story today coming out of Hialeah about a. About a van theft that fails. But that reminded me of another story because Hialeah is such a. Such a beautiful name. And there's a famous horse track there, of course. Oh, yeah. But this involved packages of cocaine washing up on shore in the Florida Keys.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, boy.

[Tom Griswold]

And.

[Chick McGee]

I mean, that's a genuine old boy. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Adam. Mr. Adam Hoffner, who was of course, from the Hoffner base family. Paul McCartney fans. You're welcome. He's a. Actually a spokesman for the Border Patrol. He told the Miami Herald that the packages that washed up on the. Is it Islam? How do you pronounce Islamorada? Islamorada. Shoreline weighed 2.4 pounds each. These were packages floating ashore as north as Hialeah, full of cocaine. And a total, by the way, of about 73 pounds of cocaine. And Pat, you have a tribute song.

[Pat Godwin]

To this church Wednesday. I'll put on my church voice.

[Chick McGee]

Here we go.

[Pat Godwin]

Ash Wednesday. Here we go. Cocaine washed upon the shore in Hialeah. Selling it on the streets is a bad idea. If you find it, call the cops asap. Cocaine, Washington. Perched upon the shores in Hia. Let's see if we can guess the rhyme and sing along.

[Chick McGee]

Here we go.

[Pat Godwin]

I met a girl in Key west named Maria Made love on the beach Got gonorrhea Ate a Cuban sandwich, Got diarrhea. Cocaine washed up on the shore in Hialeah. The masses ended going P piece.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, thank you very much. Happy Ash Wednesday.

[Chick McGee]

What happened? Coke in the boat.

[Christy Lee]

Coke in the boat. That's different.

[Chick McGee]

Coke in the boat.

[Tom Griswold]

You want to hear a little coke in the boat? Because we keep getting these stories about.

[Chick McGee]

I love coke in the boat.

[Tom Griswold]

About these floating bales of cocaine. By the way, I. Here's a stupid question. Why do the bales float? Float?

[Chick McGee]

Because they're packed properly and they're airtight.

[Tom Griswold]

And okay, if they sunk, it would.

[Chick McGee]

Be bad, like a boat.

[Christy Lee]

They wouldn't be able to find them.

[Chick McGee]

Then you need scuba divers.

[Tom Griswold]

But if you do find one, the key is to call the cops immediately.

[Chick McGee]

Not necessarily.

[Josh Arnold]

It's to walk away.

[Tom Griswold]

No, we had. We had the guy two weeks ago. Remember the guy we had the story we had two weeks ago where the guy found the thing of cocaine and decided to sell it.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And nothing happened.

[Chick McGee]

He lived happily in his retirement home.

[Tom Griswold]

His first client was from the. From the law. A very bad. Can you do a little coke of the boat to make chick happy?

[Chick McGee]

Of course, yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Here's a setup.

[Tom Griswold]

You be.

[Pat Godwin]

Let me get the moving. Oh, yeah. I got the groove now.

[Chick McGee]

There it is.

[Pat Godwin]

So we'd like to know where you got the cocaine. We'd like to know where you got the cocaine. There's coconut. Coconut boat. Maybe coconut boat will loot the boat all up. Coconut coke in a boat maybe coke in a boat. Coast Guard's watching you and will you learn Drug boats drag a little in the stern. Tourists found a stash in the Keys. Border Patrol makes these waters drug free. There's coke in the hull. So please explain Someone has the answer for this Cocaine.

[Josh Arnold]

So we'd like to know where you got the cocaine. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

We'd like to know where you're taking the cocaine. There's coconut. Coconut. Maybe coconut. Hand the boat over coconut. Coconut. Maybe coke can love what I'm talking. Coconut.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Now the other story was a headline. Florida Keys charter boat captain sold cocaine found at sea. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And nothing happened.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no, no, no. He was taken into custody. Oh. He sold the agent a kilogram of cocaine for $10,000. And that. We got a letter from somebody saying that's, that's too cheap.

[Chick McGee]

But then you want to move it.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't want to touch it.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, true.

[Chick McGee]

Can't he just say, I, I, I didn't know it was stolen. I don't know where it came.

[Tom Griswold]

No, the fact isn't. This isn't the fact that the cocaine is stolen. That's the problem. The fact that it's cocaine and it's.

[Chick McGee]

Illegal, you know, accepting. Buying stolen properties illegal.

[Christy Lee]

Did you know that?

[Josh Arnold]

It's not fair, is it?

[Chick McGee]

No, it's not fair at all.

[Christy Lee]

You don't know if it's stolen.

[Chick McGee]

I didn't know it was stolen.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, most florists sell roses on Valentine's Day out of the trunk of a car that have the word condolences on them.

[Chick McGee]

I'm talking TVs, used cars, things like that.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember the old. The old maintenance worker here?

[Chick McGee]

Yes, yes. He bought a TV out of the trunk of a car.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, Josh, this guy bought a.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah, I know.

[Tom Griswold]

TV out of the trunk of a car. And when he got home. Home. And opened it up, it was. There were two cinder blocks in there, right?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Whoops.

[Chick McGee]

Good old Charlie.

[Tom Griswold]

That'll learn. You all right?

[Chick McGee]

He's the one. He's the one who coined the term for his bedroom at home. The actual bed was called the Killing. The killing block. What do you think of that?

[Tom Griswold]

Ever you refer to. Do you have a name for your bed you call.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no, I don't have a name for the bed.

[Tom Griswold]

But a free solo something.

[Josh Arnold]

That's funny.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

My couch would be more okay. Yeah, I don't bother going upstairs for that.

[Chick McGee]

You like it on the couch?

[Tom Griswold]

That's a sad day when you go upstairs. When the urge hits, just look around for either anything like a paper towel, old T shirt, sock.

[Chick McGee]

Speaking of this, you have never told us how old you were. First time for you.

[Tom Griswold]

The gentleman never discusses it.

[Josh Arnold]

He doesn't tell sex or masturbation.

[Chick McGee]

I think you sex. 19. I was 19. You were same 19. Chrisy. You were like 30.

[Tom Griswold]

There you go. Right after you said I do.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, I was.

[Christy Lee]

I was 18.

[Tom Griswold]

Earlier on the show, Chick was talking about something he purchased yesterday because we were talking about it here.

[Chick McGee]

Aura frames.

[Tom Griswold]

The aura frame. This is one of my.

[Josh Arnold]

One. I got one for free.

[Chick McGee]

I'm.

[Tom Griswold]

You got one for free? So did I. I didn't get one for free. I bought mine.

[Josh Arnold]

Wait a minute.

[Chick McGee]

What I bought. My mom said you had to buy them.

[Tom Griswold]

They were passing them out for free.

[Josh Arnold]

Did he take your cash?

[Christy Lee]

I got one.

[Josh Arnold]

I got one.

[Chick McGee]

Tom, what'd you do with the money I gave you?

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't buy. Didn't get one.

[Chick McGee]

I won one. I bought one.

[Tom Griswold]

Excuse me. Decorum. We're talking about something called the aura frame. A U, R A. And it's an electronic gizmo. There's one right behind Josh. And this is so cool. When I found out about. There's a picture of two of my girls.

[Josh Arnold]

A Sears is behind me.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a second. Don't take that. Homemade. The aura frame, it's an electronic device and it's about the size of a regular piece of paper you'd find to write on. But it's a frame. It's a beautiful black frame. And inside, well, you program it. You just load on photographs. And there's a picture of somebody milking a cow right there.

[Chick McGee]

It's gotta be me or Josh.

[Tom Griswold]

And it just rotates photographs.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my gosh, is that me?

[Tom Griswold]

You can load this thing and give it to someone.

[Josh Arnold]

I like the cow, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Don't I look like a loveseat? What the hell?

[Tom Griswold]

The point here is the aura frame has unlimited storage, including videos. You can get one of these, load it up and you can load it anywhere. I loaded this one. In fact, Ms. Hooker's put a lot more pictures on it. I did. Did it while I was home, even though that thing was here. So it's through some kind of Internet magic that it works, and I highly recommend it. It's really fun. The Aura Frame. It's a U R a. Go to auraframes.com, by the way. Name number one by Wirecutter. And if you know wire cutter, it's hard to make them very happy. You can save on this gift by, in fact, 35 bucks by using our names. So for a limited time, go to auraframes.com and order the Carver Matte Frame. That's their bestseller. The code is Tom.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah, that's the one I got.

[Tom Griswold]

You got. You got the. The Carver Matte Frame.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Support our show, please, by mentioning the Bob and Tom show when you check out aura auraframes.com fill it full of photographs. It's just a terrific gift and you might want one for yourself.

[Chick McGee]

And I wrote down, yes, I do enjoy the Bob and Tom show, but the real treasure on that presentation is Chick McGee. He's the one.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, really?

[Chick McGee]

That really brings.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, well, perhaps I would not have.

[Josh Arnold]

Purchased one of these but for Chick McGee.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, photographs of chicks, but not included. You'll have to. He'll have to write him a nice letter to get one of those. Aura A U R Aura frames dot com. Tell them the Bob and Tom show sent you. Coming up, we have our lesson in history. We have a couple of odd semen stories in the news today of all.

[Chick McGee]

Random things skating on thin ice with this semen topic, pal.

[Tom Griswold]

It's not my fault.

[Chick McGee]

It absolutely is your. Your fault.

[Christy Lee]

Not your fault.

[Chick McGee]

You brought up a story from 15 years. No, 11 years ago, 2015.

[Tom Griswold]

First of all, it was. But it was an update.

[Chick McGee]

No, it wasn't.

[Christy Lee]

There was no update in it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, sometimes an update is so.

[Chick McGee]

So you're gonna say an update is when they come out with an update and say there's no update. That's an update.

[Tom Griswold]

I could update you on the Gettysburg Address, for example. I could say, it has not changed. That's weird.

[Chick McGee]

Somebody on Twitter.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what I appreciate?

[Tom Griswold]

I was talking to a historian friend of mine. You know, the Gettysburg Address. Etc, same verbiage.

[Chick McGee]

Somebody I checked yesterday, Twitter just bought the flag that draped Lincoln's casket, and it's in some restaurant in New York City that's been there for like 100. It's in the Lincoln room. Believe. Wow. Isn't that cool? Wow. Yeah. I don't know what they paid for it, but it will be reflected in your entree.

[Tom Griswold]

Since it wasn't a restaurant. Is there a tip involved?

[Chick McGee]

I'm sure. I hope so.

[Tom Griswold]

What did it go for? Is it say?

[Chick McGee]

It doesn't say.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, I'd like to know. When we come back, we'll have that information for you.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, we will.

[Tom Griswold]

Plus, we have a toucan on the loose. You ever see a toucan?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Looks like a crow swallowed a banana.

[Chick McGee]

See? You walk us through toucan, but you won't tell us who the hell the twins are. I've had it.

[Tom Griswold]

These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

It's tax season, and at Lifelock, we know you're tired of numbers, but here's.

[Tom Griswold]

A big one you need to hear.

[Josh Arnold]

Billions. That's the amount of money and refunds the IRS has flagged for possible identity fraud. Now, here's another big number. 100 million. That's how many data points Lifelock monitors every second. If your identity is stolen, we'll fix it. Guaranteed. One last big number. Save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com podcast for the threats you can't control.

[Tom Griswold]

Terms apply.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin. Hello. There's Jess Hooker.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby.

[Josh Arnold]

Howdy.

[Chick McGee]

I'm Chick McGee. I'm looking over. I did a little homework. I found the answer to the Abraham Lincoln flag that was on his casket. It was bought by Keene's Steakhouse on 36th and 6th.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, they make salad dressings in New York.

[Chick McGee]

And the flag cost half a million, $525,000. The flag will permanently be displayed in the restaurant's second floor Lincoln Room. Wow, look at that. So there you go. Maybe we could go to. We go to New York City.

[Tom Griswold]

This was a recent purchase?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, just now.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

It's amazing.

[Chick McGee]

We could go to Keens, have dinner.

[Tom Griswold]

Do a couple shots.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Inappropriate, I guess.

[Chick McGee]

You know how we do wear a top hat.

[Tom Griswold]

It is time to check in the sporting scene with Chick Magee. What's happening over there?

[Chick McGee]

Alyssa Lou is left to carry the hopes of the United States into the women's free skate.

[Josh Arnold]

She's good.

[Chick McGee]

The reigning world champ delivered a stellar short program featured a triple Lutz triple loop. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's 18 different moves. Yeah, I might have lost track. Hardest combination any woman tried last night.

[Josh Arnold]

It's baffling.

[Chick McGee]

However, she sat two points back of Japan's Amy Nakai and right behind Kaori Sakamoto on the leaderboard. However, the other Blade Angels not nearly as well. I. Isabel Levito in eighth place, and US champion Amber Glenn, 13th place, even after she landed a triple axel. So there you go.

[Ali Breen]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

And then only was able to do kind of like.

[Tom Griswold]

Was Lutz a guy?

[Josh Arnold]

Was I not?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, he. Josh was talking.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, sorry. No, no, it's all right. I'm sorry.

[Chick McGee]

He named the mood.

[Josh Arnold]

No, it's. It is. What I had to say isn't really important at all.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I want to hear.

[Josh Arnold]

What is funnier is just the fact that I was, like, mid. Word.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

That's really why.

[Chick McGee]

But yeah. And he really.

[Tom Griswold]

See, I don't know. I was putting sugar in my coffee.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know. Yeah, so that answers that question. He wasn't. He wasn't listening. I think we'd all be shocked because we know we lose him during the morning, but we'd be surprised. Sugar and dismayed at how often he really does.

[Christy Lee]

Maybe we should have a test at the end of every show to see how much he remembers.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that's funny. Oh. Oh, you know what, though? All of us.

[Chick McGee]

I have no idea.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I. I don't. I didn't watch any of the figure skating.

[Josh Arnold]

I do want to know swim meets. Does this happen at home?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, this only constantly. All the time.

[Pat Godwin]

Daddy, I was talking.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no. Everyone.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, this happened. This is just for Tom. A powerful avalanche struck the ski resort in Italy's Acosta Valley. We have video of this.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, gosh. These always scare me. Look at that. I mean, you see that coming from a mile away. You go, oh, should I just sit down?

[Chick McGee]

And skiers can be seen trying to escape at the last moment, but they are buried by the snow. Oh, there you go.

[Jess Hooker]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Who gave you that story?

[Chick McGee]

I. I. I gave me that story. What, you don't like avalanches?

[Josh Arnold]

Of all the. Of all the avalanche stories, that's the positive one.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And this video is unbelievably wonderful. Not. Not so much. It's a dog, A puppy dog. The other night, joining a cross country competition at the Olympics. There he goes. There's a. Evidently, there are dogs somewhere nearby in cages.

[Josh Arnold]

Now, that is a dog.

[Tom Griswold]

It looks just like a wolf.

[Chick McGee]

He does look like a wolf, though.

[Josh Arnold]

That's as close as a wolf As a dog can get.

[Ali Breen]

Wolf.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Might be a wolf hybrid. It might be, right.

[Josh Arnold]

It has to be.

[Jess Hooker]

That's insane.

[Tom Griswold]

Look at this. And there's a whole bunch of people standing around.

[Josh Arnold]

It's beautiful.

[Chick McGee]

And two guys running a ski in.

[Tom Griswold]

Cross country competition make you go faster.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what? I. Yeah, exactly. I was wondering if this could be considered cheating because if you go, hey, on my last lap, I'm gonna.

[Chick McGee]

I really need something. I need something to get. Get me the hell out of here. Unbelievable, man. Oh, boy. So there you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

You like dogs, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Sure.

[Josh Arnold]

We're winding down with the Olympics. I've had Winter Olympic fever the whole time.

[Christy Lee]

It's gonna be sad when it's over.

[Chick McGee]

Here's another skiing update for you, Tom. Lindsay Vaughn's crash has renewed pressure to rethink ski bindings, one of the oldest pieces of equipment in the sport.

[Josh Arnold]

What is it exactly?

[Chick McGee]

FIS and US Ski and snowboard leaders say a smart binding system is still in early development. Experts say a new algorithm them could sense loss of control and trigger a faster release than present systems. It could be based on the airbag system. It. That system is now required in speed ski skiing events.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

Where you rely on.

[Tom Griswold]

It's quite a feeling, though, when you're skiing and one of the skis falls off.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, it's got to be.

[Chick McGee]

Do you immediately ski in a circle?

[Tom Griswold]

No. Usually you ski into a snowdrift drift, ideally rather than a tree.

[Josh Arnold]

Does ski binding bind the two skis together or the ski to your foot.

[Tom Griswold]

The foot to your boot.

[Christy Lee]

Right to your boot.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. Yeah. And so they're saying, hey, if your ski can't fly off, you're about to bend your leg.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And the skis have little brakes on them now.

[Chick McGee]

Brakes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that when the ski falls off.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

They pop down. So the ski stops.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that's great.

[Tom Griswold]

But years ago.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, you'd have to chase it down.

[Tom Griswold]

The mountain years ago, go into the.

[Chick McGee]

Woods to find your ski.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you. You would wear these straps that would attach to the ski. And a friend of mine was just skiing in Japan, and the snow was so deep, they had to put those straps on because if. If your ski falls off and stops and goes, you can't find it.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, man.

[Tom Griswold]

So that would be. That would be kind of rough.

[Christy Lee]

How deep have you skied in?

[Tom Griswold]

How do you ski? Oh, yeah, but it's. I don't like. That's. A lot of people like that. Not me.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

I wouldn't think that would be fun.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I don't think it's fun, but some people love it.

[Pat Godwin]

If you go on a drift, is it safer than if you fall, like, just on the regular ice and snow?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

You feel like it would be, don't you?

[Chick McGee]

Right. It would cushion drift, a nice fluffy drift.

[Tom Griswold]

You want to have a little bit of slope when you fall. Kind of breaks your fall.

[Josh Arnold]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

If you're going really fast and fall in a flat area, it can really hurt.

[Chick McGee]

Have you ever fallen on skis and be surprised that you weren't hurt?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I've never been hurt.

[Josh Arnold]

Never been hurt. I'm with you, chick. Now, if I. If I fall, I take, like. It takes like, five seconds for me to go. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

She's on ground.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You mean like at your house?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

I fell backwards the other day because I'm not going to say why. And I landed on my tailbone on the stairs. I have had, like a little half step, and I was s. I. Well, I broken my tailbone.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

Let's see how this. And nothing.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what happens? You know what they do for you when you break your tailbone?

[Chick McGee]

What?

[Josh Arnold]

Nothing.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

You just have to let it be.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't they give you a donut?

[Chick McGee]

Nut you can't.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, but. But I mean, it's miserable, and I.

[Chick McGee]

Would think going to the bathroom, that process would be really. Ouch. Right?

[Josh Arnold]

Don't they give you a donut? Oh, jeez. No, no, no.

[Tom Griswold]

Not to eat.

[Chick McGee]

Just to sit on not to eat.

[Pat Godwin]

We know what you meant.

[Chick McGee]

Not to eat.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, sorry. I. I was confused.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm so sorry. You broke. You broke your ass. Would you like glazed?

[Josh Arnold]

You know.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, Josh, want a donut or a lollipop, little man?

[Christy Lee]

You keep.

[Chick McGee]

Keep breaking your tailbone. We can't keep giving you donuts. Come on. Every week.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe if you had a bigger ass, you wouldn't keep bringing it.

[Josh Arnold]

You know the name of the tailbone, right, Tom?

[Tom Griswold]

What's that?

[Christy Lee]

I do.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, the coccus coccyx. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Ironic, really.

[Chick McGee]

C O, C Y, X or something. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

As opposed to back dick.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, back dick.

[Christy Lee]

You heard him.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

Back it up up. In Australia, an Australian Austrian Olympic ski jumper has been disqualified for wearing oversized boots. According to the BBC ace Daniel Schofvening. Tsch.

[Jess Hooker]

Whoo.

[Chick McGee]

Had qualified for the ski jumping final when he was found to be wearing boots that were 4 millimeters larger than the rules permitted. So there's a guy with a tape measure measuring the boots.

[Tom Griswold]

I And I wanted to get an idea of.4 millimeters. That is I looked it up. That's the equivalent width of a standard pencil or. Or five stacked credit cards. And they gave this guy the boot. Ironically.

[Chick McGee]

So Fenig says in broken English, I used new shoes. He's from Austria.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, sir.

[Chick McGee]

I used no shoes and training, which, by the way, I wasn't very happy with. But I kept them anyway. Unfortunately, I was naive. I didn't measure. Extremely stupid of me. A lot of stress.

[Tom Griswold]

All these names in the Winter Olympics. They sound like good Bond villains.

[Josh Arnold]

There are some good ones.

[Tom Griswold]

What's this guy's name? Like Sloxlovich or something?

[Chick McGee]

Show T S C H O F E N I G I mean, that's nonsense.

[Tom Griswold]

Schlofenig.

[Chick McGee]

Meanwhile, Slovenia's Doman Previch went on to win the gold. Ran Nikaido of Japan. Silver. And Poland's Casper take home a sack picked up. He's sponsored by.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the guy's name.

[Chick McGee]

He's sponsored by White Castle. That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

T O M A S I.

[Chick McGee]

That'd be Tomasiak.

[Tom Griswold]

Tomasiak.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. But Casper and Annika Belshaw, disqualified from the women's large hill because her skis were more than 1cm too long. Just a silly centimeter.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Hulk, here's an obscure trivia question for you.

[Chick McGee]

Huh?

[Tom Griswold]

Do you remember a. When they used to advertise cigarettes on tv?

[Chick McGee]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

There was a brand that was famous for being a silly millimeter longer.

[Chick McGee]

That's why I said that.

[Josh Arnold]

What was that?

[Chick McGee]

Benson and Hedges.

[Tom Griswold]

No, Benson and hedges had the 100. The 100. And then. Then it wasn't Benson. Yeah. Then. Yeah, Benson and hedges had the 100. And they had the famous commercials where people would be walking around with a 100 millimeter cigarette and it would run into things. It was about how it was longer.

[Chick McGee]

They closed the elevator door.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

That's funny.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And then someone came out with one that was a silly millimeter longer. I think they had a jingle. And that, I believe, was Chesterfield's Silly Millimeter Long. I'll try to. Let me. During the break. I'll see if I can. If I can dig up the commercial. But yeah, you're right. That was the famous one with the. The. The Benson and Hedges with the door shutting and the. I missed the days of being able to advertise cigarettes. They were fun.

[Josh Arnold]

I'd like to know how they would do it now. Yeah, like how.

[Tom Griswold]

How?

[Josh Arnold]

If it would be.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that'd be like. The spin would be that it's healthier, you lose weight.

[Christy Lee]

You don't Eat as much.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. 4 out of 5. 4 out of 5 doctors recommend Camel filterless cigarettes or whatever the hell. Yeah. A Dr. Smoke.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. There's a famous picture of it. And he's got one of those mirrors on his head and this. I hate to be too obscure, but Pat and I are big fans of Eric Clapton and we. In fact, Pat and I flew to London to see Cream's final concert. There is a movie of the original Cream's last concert from the 60s. Remember this? There's a scene in that. And they're talking to Eric Clapton and the guy goes. He smokes to keep his weight down.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's what models would do.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Four out of five supermodels choose.

[Tom Griswold]

Then he went on a really good program, the heroin died diet, which I really thinned them out there for a while. Yeah. Eric, we're glad you're doing better, but. Yeah, I'll. We'll dig up silly millimeter.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, look what time it is. Stupid world record. Are you ready? A West Indian manatee.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

Known as. Known as Romeo, has been verified as the oldest manatee ever.

[Josh Arnold]

Really?

[Chick McGee]

The senior.

[Josh Arnold]

He's answering us.

[Christy Lee]

Okay. Is this in captivity or in the wild?

[Chick McGee]

The senior sea cow was born in the wild, but when he was found in the Miami area in 1957, he was thought to be between 2 and 5 years old.

[Josh Arnold]

Did you ever hear the Jim Gavigan bit about how manatees have to be insulted by the term sea cow?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, hey, there. A sea cow, A manatee, please.

[Tom Griswold]

Sea cow is body shaming. That's what they call a manatee, even when they're lady manatees.

[Chick McGee]

At the most conservative end of the spectrum, says our writer, means he's at least 71 in 2026.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

Prior to Romeo, the oldest mantee ever recognized by Guinness was known as Snooty. S N O O T Y. Snooty died at just over 69 years of age in 2017. So long lived. Long live. Yeah. Long live.

[Christy Lee]

Where does Romeo live?

[Tom Griswold]

Verona. In a.

[Chick McGee]

You can't call it living room.

[Tom Griswold]

I forget the name of the. They've moved them once.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, okay.

[Josh Arnold]

You think they live longer in the wild?

[Tom Griswold]

They must know.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

No.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, they do.

[Josh Arnold]

Not too many predators and stuff.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I heard that.

[Christy Lee]

I heard that backward.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they. But I think they lived maybe 40 max and.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

When they're at sea.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. When they're a killer whales living next to you.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. There are no predators in a zoo usually, but.

[Tom Griswold]

And it wasn't the Myth that. That they. The sailors would see them and they would think they were mermaids.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really old.

[Tom Griswold]

But there wouldn't be. They're not really attractive mermaids.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, Rubenesque. Rubens esque.

[Chick McGee]

Any. Any port in a storm, though.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, exactly.

[Christy Lee]

Romeo's living now in Fort Walton Beach, Florida.

[Tom Griswold]

Florida?

[Christy Lee]

Well, yes.

[Chick McGee]

What's his address?

[Christy Lee]

In Gulfarium Marine Adventure Parks. Manatee Cove.

[Chick McGee]

No, they have a post office box.

[Christy Lee]

I don't. I could probably look. Yeah, you probably should.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

So.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm sorry, this manatees. What'd you say, 71 years old?

[Chick McGee]

No, that was on his dad.

[Christy Lee]

He's 70.

[Chick McGee]

He's at least 71.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Probably Mrs. Being young and sexy. Well, don't we all?

[Josh Arnold]

He's probably enjoying some benefits of the age retirement.

[Chick McGee]

Elder statesman.

[Christy Lee]

Sure.

[Chick McGee]

Passing on his.

[Josh Arnold]

The younger man movie tickets cheaper.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they could be. This could be the villages of Manatee World. You don't know? Manatee Cove could be a hot place.

[Chick McGee]

Well, if the villages. Yeah, they're having sex in the hallway.

[Tom Griswold]

Manatee Viagra.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Coming up, we have radioactive pigs in the news. And we have more on the history of contraception and an unusual thing that happened to some guy playing beer pong. Be, beware, ladies and gentlemen. We'll get to that in just a second. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Even though we're not too much to look at, you can also watch the show on our YouTube channel.

[Tom Griswold]

Fishers.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

I like this guy. Yeah, that chick has a cigarette. Candy cigarette in his mouth.

[Announcer]

That's right.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

Is it okay? It's okay if I smoke here on the show? Is that all right?

[Tom Griswold]

The candy cigarettes?

[Josh Arnold]

At least you're asking.

[Chick McGee]

There's Christy Lee. She's at the news desk. There's Pat Godwin.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

Jess Hooker joins us.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There is Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Have you ever lit a cigarette for a woman?

[Chick McGee]

No, never have. I can't. I can't hold it. I can't. Anything. I can't do anything with it.

[Jess Hooker]

Looks good.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Makes you suave.

[Josh Arnold]

I never smoke, but I used to walk around with the Zippo.

[Chick McGee]

Is that right? To light them up. Nice. There's Ace Cosby for all my girl.

[Josh Arnold]

My lady friends with your.

[Tom Griswold]

Your Zippo open. Wait. Want some of this? Oh, there's Tom now. We were discussing the. Speaking of cigarettes, this is the perfect segue. Thank you chick. We were discussing an interesting thing. Just calm down. Here.

[Ali Breen]

Here.

[Tom Griswold]

This is going to all tie in. In the world of.

[Chick McGee]

Of skiing, an Austrian Olympic ski jumper been disqualified for wearing oversized boots. They were 4 millimeters larger than the rules permitted. And I. Offhand, it says a silly millimeter longer.

[Josh Arnold]

And that was apparently some old ad campaign.

[Chick McGee]

I'm old ad campaign.

[Tom Griswold]

Because Benson and Hedges came out with the one hundreds and that was it.

[Josh Arnold]

And those were slightly longer than a typical cigarette.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Okay, were they longer, thinner?

[Tom Griswold]

And they did a whole campaign where people. They'd get stuck in elevators and stuff, but then there was a silly millimeter longer 101. And I think they were Chesterfields. And I think this is the ad. I'm having a little trouble here. Let's see if this works.

[Christy Lee]

Well, I hope they'll both be very happy.

[Tom Griswold]

I will always cry at weddings.

[Chick McGee]

1 millimeter longer than the 100. 1 millimeter longer.

[Tom Griswold]

Must be a joke. I was the first guy who ever dated her.

[Chick McGee]

Doesn't look any longer.

[Tom Griswold]

Long.

[Jess Hooker]

And they're at a wedding.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, they're at a wedding. And the one guy goes, I was the first guy to do.

[Christy Lee]

What's that got to do. Do with us.

[Tom Griswold]

That was out of nowhere.

[Josh Arnold]

I've met that guy at a wedding before.

[Ali Breen]

Really?

[Chick McGee]

She screams and puts her legs in the air. How old does it have to be? You can barely recognize any sound coming out of that.

[Pat Godwin]

I know.

[Chick McGee]

You know what, though?

[Josh Arnold]

I originally or something, I thought it was older than labomba, but obviously not. Yeah, yeah, it sounds like.

[Chick McGee]

You think.

[Josh Arnold]

But it sounds like the 40s.

[Chick McGee]

You think of Richie Valens. Did he write La Bamba? Or is it. No, it's like an.

[Pat Godwin]

It's an old wedding song.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that commercial also, maybe it was. It says 1966. Benson and Hedges introduced the one hundreds. Those are still out there, right?

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

They'll make the long cigarettes.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, Everybody has a 100.

[Chick McGee]

Well, and then there's a called More.

[Tom Griswold]

They're.

[Chick McGee]

They're darker cigarette. M O R E is the name of the cigarette.

[Tom Griswold]

More.

[Chick McGee]

And it's like a darker cigarette and it's also long.

[Tom Griswold]

There was one, they had Virginia Slims, where your tumors look like 120s.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they were long.

[Jess Hooker]

Those were 120s.

[Tom Griswold]

Those were really long, man.

[Christy Lee]

And what was the other one? That was pink and white packaging. Yeah, I want to make a lot of cigarettes.

[Josh Arnold]

I want to make a parody commercial of like, a new Charleston's 1000. The thinnest longest cigarette has to have.

[Tom Griswold]

An apparatus Apparatus holding up the end of it. It's cantilever.

[Josh Arnold]

You have to wear like a headge with a string that goes to the tip.

[Tom Griswold]

I wonder. I wonder if it's not bad. Is there a country where it would be legal to advertise cigarettes still?

[Josh Arnold]

If anywhere, probably China, Japan. Just because smoking is so prevalent in those places.

[Chick McGee]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, I think.

[Tom Griswold]

I think Chinese per capita may be the highest.

[Josh Arnold]

And cheap cigarettes are cheap there.

[Tom Griswold]

And no filters. Right.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know about.

[Tom Griswold]

But it is a fair question. If they could advertise cigarettes today, what would they. What?

[Christy Lee]

They'd have to do the weight loss thing. They would have to do the model thing. Capri is what I'm thinking of. And Eve, remember those?

[Chick McGee]

Eve is like a douche, right?

[Christy Lee]

Well, they have Summer's Eve.

[Tom Griswold]

Summer's Eve is a douche.

[Chick McGee]

It is very different Summer's Eve.

[Christy Lee]

They have an Eve cigarette.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe they have a product that would do both.

[Chick McGee]

Be quiet, you two. It's a cigarette and a douche.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, look, she can make smoke rings.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I totally remember this. You guys would remember this if you saw it.

[Tom Griswold]

But I think the first one.

[Christy Lee]

You don't remember that?

[Josh Arnold]

I don't. The box is so artistic.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Which one is that?

[Christy Lee]

The Eve.

[Jess Hooker]

It's really pretty.

[Tom Griswold]

Was that marketed to women?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't remember that one.

[Tom Griswold]

And there is a famous story in advertising because obviously the Virginia Slims were marketed toward the ladies.

[Chick McGee]

Remember when they started sponsoring the. That tennis tournament?

[Tom Griswold]

Sure.

[Chick McGee]

That was big. That was a big damn deal.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. And of course, obviously in the auto. Auto racing, there were.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, Marlboro Marcus.

[Josh Arnold]

The Flintstones were familiar with that old cigarette campaign where the actual cartoon characters.

[Chick McGee]

Were talking about Winston. Tastes good.

[Josh Arnold]

Were there any other celebrity endorsements, like real people that were behind a certain brand?

[Tom Griswold]

I'm sure there were. Back there had.

[Chick McGee]

I can't remember.

[Josh Arnold]

Like you would see.

[Tom Griswold]

I remember reading articles that the cigarette companies would go to the Hollywood sets and drop off crates of cigarettes so that the actors would light them up in the movies.

[Josh Arnold]

I guess they would do that to people. Like to soldiers overseas too. All of a sudden a giant crate would show up and it would be cartons of cigarettes. Which I say, whatever.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, no joke.

[Jess Hooker]

That's how I made money in high school. I was one of the first ones to turn 18 in my friend group. And so everybody wanted to smoke.

[Josh Arnold]

Did you sell Lucy's or packs?

[Jess Hooker]

No. Whenever I would go in and buy a pack of cigarettes, somebody. I would charge them an extra Dollar on whatever it was.

[Tom Griswold]

Absolutely.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. And. Yeah, I made a lot of money.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, well, well, that's interesting.

[Chick McGee]

Here's the.

[Tom Griswold]

This is the classic. This is a real short thing. But these, these are the actual actors from the Flintstones.

[Chick McGee]

The Flintstones brought to you by Winston, America's best selling, best tasting filter cigarette. Winston. Tastes good. Like a cigarette. Sugar. Hey, Fred.

[Josh Arnold]

And Fred was smoking.

[Ali Breen]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Got a light, Fred?

[Josh Arnold]

So awesome. And now do you remember the lighters on the Flintstones?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, they.

[Josh Arnold]

It was like a Zippo.

[Chick McGee]

Was it a little. A little bird or something?

[Josh Arnold]

No, two sticks would run.

[Christy Lee]

That's right.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Josh Arnold]

They had the technology to make it right, but they still chose to have it be funny.

[Tom Griswold]

I used to love those. And the. The record player, that was the bird.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Put his head down in the dishwasher. The baby elephant with water coming out.

[Tom Griswold]

I just. But it's a fair question. What would they do to market them?

[Josh Arnold]

Would Sydney Sweeney be some. Smoking a cigarette?

[Pat Godwin]

Like to have a reckless person who didn't care. Sean Penn kind of guy.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Christy Lee]

Or John Mellencamp. You'd be a.

[Tom Griswold]

Like I said, Billy Bob Thornton. Yeah, right. Landman.

[Christy Lee]

I mean, see, they don't even need to do that because we all see it anyway.

[Josh Arnold]

Way. Smoking disappeared from television shows for about five years and then made a really big comeback.

[Tom Griswold]

But they have to put a warning.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I know. Now they do have warnings, which is funny. Smoking, language, violence. Smoking.

[Chick McGee]

The bright lights may cause seizures.

[Josh Arnold]

That makes sense. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Sexual situations.

[Tom Griswold]

I wonder if the. When the way they would market cigarettes, they obviously would pitch some toward ladies, etc.

[Josh Arnold]

Etc.

[Tom Griswold]

Etc. Etc.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, sure.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Influencers would be smoking in their videos.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, it's the same way they would do it. Alcohol. Right. Like the Mom Water or whatever those drinks are. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Mom.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait, wait, wait. What's Mom Water?

[Ali Breen]

It's.

[Jess Hooker]

It's like. Like a High Noon. Or it's like a juice Vodka in a can.

[Tom Griswold]

Like.

[Jess Hooker]

And it's in a thin can.

[Josh Arnold]

Is that a brand?

[Jess Hooker]

It's.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, yes.

[Jess Hooker]

It's. I don't know if it's Mom Water, but it's mom something.

[Josh Arnold]

That's funny.

[Christy Lee]

And then Mom Water.

[Tom Griswold]

It is Mom Water.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

And then they have ones that are named after women.

[Josh Arnold]

It's what a mom would call. It would say to a kid, give me one of mom's waters, Ashley.

[Christy Lee]

Or whatever.

[Jess Hooker]

It's all these names.

[Chick McGee]

MILF juice tastes best at the end of your driveway.

[Christy Lee]

Mom Water is the one that does that. They have the Karen that's Blueberry Lemon. Bad name. They have Linda, which is Blueberry Peach.

[Josh Arnold]

Funny. They're just very funny.

[Jess Hooker]

They're in skinny cans and they're pretty colors. Yeah. They would do cigarettes the exact same way.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Now in kissing, is it in Canada where they have to put a picture of a diseased lung on the pack of cigarettes?

[Jess Hooker]

I think so.

[Chick McGee]

I think England working.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know. How far away are they from putting a diseased liver on the side of a vodka bottle?

[Jess Hooker]

Honestly?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, I forget why we got here, but the show will be a silly millimeter long longer from now on. I wish we could get a better copy of the audio from that, but it was La Bamba.

[Josh Arnold]

Are there any condoms that.

[Christy Lee]

Market to women?

[Josh Arnold]

Silly.

[Chick McGee]

Half inch longer. Still cramped by your current condom. Check these babies, though.

[Tom Griswold]

What would they name them? There is one, right? I mean, now there's.

[Chick McGee]

I'd call it the Hog.

[Josh Arnold]

The Hog's good.

[Christy Lee]

Of course, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Kinda, yeah. You can't feel any. You can't feel nothing in any of them. Useless.

[Tom Griswold]

When we come back, we have Christy Lee. She's at her post at the Bob and Tom news desk with, of all things, two different seaman updates. Come on with this from the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Want to share a letter or comment? Our email is bob and tomobandtom.com come.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. There's Christy Lee with her drapery pole for Nexus. A necklace.

[Tom Griswold]

No, really, you hold that up for a second.

[Chick McGee]

It.

[Tom Griswold]

It looks like. It looks like you'd yank on them. You dank on them and then some.

[Chick McGee]

Bell would go, darling, are we going to have sex?

[Tom Griswold]

Cute.

[Chick McGee]

Well, close the drapes.

[Tom Griswold]

When men see tassels, they expect them to be spinning. Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Spinning. And there's Pat Godwin.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

He's seen some tassels. Yeah. There you go. There's Jess Hooker.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Elvira was one of the world's renowned tassel sp.

[Jess Hooker]

Really?

[Chick McGee]

No kidding.

[Josh Arnold]

Same direction, opposite direction.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Jess Hooker]

That's awesome.

[Josh Arnold]

Cassandra Peterson could really get those going.

[Chick McGee]

There's ace Cosby Chick McGee. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

That is an odd skill set.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

But I mean it. She did well with it.

[Christy Lee]

I mean, I. You'd have to be.

[Tom Griswold]

Was she a Professor Shoulders?

[Josh Arnold]

She was a dancer and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah. She.

[Chick McGee]

She was in a lot of interesting movies. I forget where I started.

[Josh Arnold]

She was friends with all the, like, Cheech and Chong and all those guys and Paul Reubens. They were really close.

[Chick McGee]

I want to say she was in like a Nicholson movie. Like an extra in one five Easy Pieces.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't something. She showed up in a lot of. Of very pretty and dated so many Hollywood, I think.

[Christy Lee]

Of course.

[Tom Griswold]

Who's the Tony Basil? Remember that song?

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Dude, I thought she was so cute.

[Tom Griswold]

She's at the end of Karen Black.

[Pat Godwin]

Tony Basil.

[Chick McGee]

I think Tony and Cassandra were friends, actually.

[Tom Griswold]

And she's in the. That weird scene at the end of Easy Rider.

[Josh Arnold]

Right. I had such a crush on her.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

On which one? Tony Basil.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Mickey, she's still out there.

[Josh Arnold]

I had a bigger crush on Elvira, but.

[Tom Griswold]

And you, you have your picture with her, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yes. I think I even put it on the aura frame.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, nice.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

All four of us, we have to check in. We have to check in with Christy Lee. You'll find her at the Bob and Tom news desk. What have we missed?

[Christy Lee]

Well, I guess we'll continue with our semen hunk.

[Josh Arnold]

Ah, that's a calendar that sells. Well.

[Chick McGee]

This is Joey. And look at that.

[Christy Lee]

Seaman Hunt, a New Zealander.

[Josh Arnold]

Are they Navy men or are they hunks?

[Chick McGee]

I think.

[Tom Griswold]

I brought this story out because there was some. I wanted to get some clarity on what happened yesterday, so I found a.

[Chick McGee]

Different source for once again, not an update.

[Christy Lee]

No, It's a New Zealand restaurant known for its stag infused beer also dabbled in other semen based beverages.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, the stag infused beer was a beer made with the semen from Deer.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

Green man pub in Wellington, New Zealand, caused a stir when it created an apple infused horse semen shot for the Monteith's Beer and Wild Food challenge. Chef Jason Varley said men have been less enthusiastic about the beverage.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Though one brave individual described the semen to be, quote, like custard.

[Josh Arnold]

Remember the guys who made. They made some booze out of. But the semen of German men. It was Jaeger. Mr. That didn't last long.

[Christy Lee]

No. And if that wasn't enough, she said the pub also offered syringes loaded with deer semen, kiwi liquor and yogurt.

[Chick McGee]

Syringes.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. So they would make a shot out of them.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, they do shots like that.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, they shoot them down your throat. Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

According to pub staff, the semen was sourced from. From Hannibal, a seven year old stag with impeccable credentials.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

The pub paid $300 for 20 vials of semen from Annabel Sick. And then he would they Would make shots from that. I wonder what they cost.

[Jess Hooker]

Is there a benefit. Is there a health benefit to this?

[Tom Griswold]

No, I think.

[Josh Arnold]

Wait, wait, wait a second, fellas.

[Pat Godwin]

It actually makes your throat horse.

[Tom Griswold]

I think some guy's going, well, if she'll do that.

[Chick McGee]

The benefits are many and varied. Great skin. I did a head shot one time in Beloit, Wisconsin. They sat you in a barber chair. There was a barber chair in the bar. And you flipped upside down kind of. And they would. The bartender would come over and pour. Shot down you. Oh, wow.

[Christy Lee]

From the bottles, like.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, they call them upside down margaritas.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But if. If there was a thing in which. If, like, who was one of the Kardashians, you know, went on, did a video going, well, you know, this moose semen is why my skin is so fresh. There'd be moose being milked for their semen from all over the world.

[Christy Lee]

Is that what you do? You milk your moose?

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not sure how you get.

[Chick McGee]

I love this joke. How do you milk a moose?

[Tom Griswold]

First moose in my head first. You give them a. Give him a cookie. If you give a mouse an hj, I love that. But that got me with this thing about the semen in the shots. I did a little more homework, and I got an update on this other story about semen in the news that. Christy, did I give that one to you?

[Christy Lee]

Yes. A Canadian jeweler making headlines for turning human semen into custom jewelry.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, I can see this. It's got a cloudy opaqueness to it, like an opal.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, it does.

[Christy Lee]

Artist Amanda Booth began her business creating keepsake pieces from breast milk, cremated remains and human hair. But her story went viral after she accepted requests to incorporate semen into wearable beads and trinkets.

[Tom Griswold]

This is your pearl necklace.

[Josh Arnold]

Real teardrop earrings? No, not tears.

[Christy Lee]

Here's how it works. Clients mail samples to her workshop where they're dehydrated, powdered, and blended into clay before being shaped into jewelry.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, did he go to Jared Kevin?

[Christy Lee]

The practice is legal. And while it remains a niche market, Booth continues to receive custom orders from customers in the US And Canada.

[Josh Arnold]

Would you. Would a woman like a guy to. Will she take a man's semen? Would she take my semen and make.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, first she'd have to put the sock into a. Some kind of a spinning device, a centrifuge.

[Chick McGee]

Now, you know he uses T shirts.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, sorry. I assume you have to. I assume you'd have to get a vial of some sort.

[Christy Lee]

Yes. And you send it to her.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. So she will make it out of your stuff?

[Christy Lee]

Yes. Says clients mail their samples in and they're dehydrated, powdered, and then mixed into the clay. So they're not going to look like wouldn't.

[Jess Hooker]

I mean, I've done this with breast milk.

[Josh Arnold]

You have?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, with my sister.

[Ali Breen]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Whoa.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. I babysat my. My niece when she was little, and so I had breast milk packets in the freezer all the time, and I was like, oh, I saw this. This was, I don't know, five years ago and sent it in that way. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

So you had them made for your sister?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. Just a ring.

[Josh Arnold]

What did she think?

[Jess Hooker]

She was flattered.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it does.

[Jess Hooker]

It looks like. Like a white rock kind of. I mean, but it has a beginning.

[Tom Griswold]

I missed the beginning. Whose breast milk was it?

[Christy Lee]

My sister's.

[Jess Hooker]

I would babysit my niece, so I had it.

[Josh Arnold]

You had access?

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Jess Hooker]

It's not like I had to go to the tap.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

So that's kind of sweet. I think it would. It would seem to me a little bit smutty for a guy to go, hey, your earrings. Guess what they're made of.

[Josh Arnold]

Doesn't it seem like something Jared Leto would do for his girlfriend or sort of weirdos?

[Chick McGee]

I'm on the round of drinking her breast milk.

[Jess Hooker]

So how would you feel if a woman did that with hers and had, like, cufflinks made or something, and she gave them to you? What would you do?

[Josh Arnold]

You know, I would sure pretend I liked them. You know what I mean? She went to a lot of work, and it's very.

[Tom Griswold]

I would say, where did I go wrong and get into this situation?

[Chick McGee]

But, you know, there are guys. That's a fetish.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, sure.

[Chick McGee]

Breast milk. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I've never had the opportunity.

[Tom Griswold]

So now let me. In the beginning of that story, it says that this lady started her business making stuff out of cremated remains.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, we've had those stories. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

How would you feel about that? Would you want to have a ring made of your dad?

[Jess Hooker]

I don't know.

[Pat Godwin]

It's way more common, isn't it?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

But I just think it's a little weird.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no. All of it is kind of weird.

[Jess Hooker]

But I think if somebody was gifting it to me, their heart would be in the right place.

[Josh Arnold]

Exactly. That's the thing.

[Jess Hooker]

And so. And I don't think, especially if I received that from a guy, I just. I would never tell anybody what it was.

[Josh Arnold]

And quite honestly, is it that much weirder for somebody to take cremated remains and make jewelry than it is to have a bowl on a mantle full of it.

[Tom Griswold]

They're wearing it instead of had David made into a butt plug.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, now we're. By the way, that wasn't a woman, was it?

[Chick McGee]

Now here's an example of us having fun and you going too far.

[Tom Griswold]

I. I would almost guarantee that's happened.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Well, you know, they.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, my God.

[Chick McGee]

They can custom make those.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

For you. You pour.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yeah. It.

[Chick McGee]

It's a foam in there. And get it made from a plaster.

[Jess Hooker]

It comes in a tube.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm old fashioned. I just like to have a, you know, a palm print of my kids.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah. Maybe in clay or plaster. Paris or whatever.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. Wow. So in any event, this lady does this.

[Ali Breen]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

I'm watching her videos and what they look like are just white beads. They don't even. I mean, she just takes the semen and like she does dehydrate it and pulverizes it and then mixes it into clay and then.

[Josh Arnold]

Not jazz hands.

[Chick McGee]

Pat, you got some vowel trouble.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that the origin of the term jazz?

[Pat Godwin]

Jazz.

[Tom Griswold]

What is the term? Jazz. Does that originate from the similar word.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that's interesting. Because jazz it up, probably, or even you're just sort of calculating notes out with your instrument.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know. I'll have to look it up.

[Chick McGee]

The word is actually jism.

[Josh Arnold]

Right. Comes from jism.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. And that was shortened.

[Tom Griswold]

I've got.

[Josh Arnold]

And every time I saw that Chisholm was showing on tv.

[Announcer]

Me too.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you. I always laugh.

[Josh Arnold]

In fact, I've never seen Chisholm to this day.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, the Western.

[Josh Arnold]

Right, right.

[Tom Griswold]

The Pee Wee Herman is Chisholm.

[Chick McGee]

Is that right?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, sorry. My fault. Well, now, what's coming up in the.

[Christy Lee]

News, Christy Lee, we're not going to talk about semen anymore. We're going to talk about an unfortunate beer pong incident. We have a story from Hialeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Second story from Hialeah.

[Christy Lee]

Well, we never got to the first story from. We just brought up an old story.

[Tom Griswold]

Can we sing the Hialeah song again? I love it. It's a sing along. I. I want to remind you that we also have Sexy time with Ali Breen. On the way, one of our favorite segments. You can send your letters to Ali A L L I B R E E N and tell us about your love troubles. And we have been very successful. I think we're have a special guest sitting in today. Is that correct, Ms. Hooker? Are you sitting in today in the segment?

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, me?

[Tom Griswold]

I think so. Yeah. Okay, good. Right, now I want to talk to you about rougette. I did not take French. I don't know much about it.

[Chick McGee]

Rug yet ready.

[Josh Arnold]

That's actually Latin.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it is?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. It means he will howl.

[Tom Griswold]

No kidding?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, it's, it's R U G I E T. Why am I mentioning this? Because as Chick says, rougiet ready. I think, let's just say the, the stresses of life sometimes can get to guys in the bedroom or just if you need a little bit of a boost. You've been hearing about all kinds of things in the last few years. And rougette is a compound and it's designed to help you get rid of some of that stress when you enter the bedroom to be ready to rock, if you will. Unlike other popular brands, Rouge yet ready is a next generation prescription treatment that's important to know and I'll tell you why in a second here. It's designed to prime your brain for arousal. It combines three ingredients in a mint. You pop the mint in your mouth under your tongue and so it absorbs very quickly. Most men are ready in about 15 minutes for action in the bedroom. If you know, if you can follow me here, you'll stay present and confident, knowing that the moment is right. Over 150,000 men have tried rouge yet. And even though it's Latin, I'm going to spell it because I don't know how to speak Latin or French. R U G I E T Rougiette and getting started. A simple rouge yet will connect you with a doctor online. And then if you are a candidate, the treatment will ship discreetly to your door. So for a limited time, here's what you do. You go to rougiette.com bobandtom and it's R U G I E T. Rougiet.com Bob and Tom get 15% off your order. That's rougiet.com Bob and Tom for 15% off. Please mention us when you get there. It'll help us out. It'll help you out too. Rougiette.com Bob and Tom R U G I E T Take back your health, gents. Individual results may vary, of course. Course. Rouge yet ready is a compounded prescription as I mentioned earlier, and you'll get hooked up with a doctor to see if you're a candidate. Not FDA approved. Find out all the safety information by visiting rougiette.com R U G I E T R U G I E T We'll come back with Christy Lee.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, nobody's gonna join Me. These are the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show Show.

[Chick McGee]

Back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast. From the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. the news desk, it's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Ready to go.

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jess Hooker.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

Who had some stunning information. Tom. We'll share that in a moment. There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi there.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Copper. Hello. I'm Chick Magee and. Go ahead. Tell them about the pie we're gonna have. Go ahead.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Jess Hooker]

I ordered huckleberry pie filling.

[Josh Arnold]

Whoa.

[Jess Hooker]

From Montana. And so I'm gonna make a pie.

[Josh Arnold]

Wonderful. We've all. We've been talking about Huckleberry and none of us have tried that pie.

[Tom Griswold]

Why was Huckleberry. We just had Huckleberry in the news.

[Ali Breen]

We did.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't remember what it was. Something was flavored Huckleberry.

[Josh Arnold]

What I remember is we had a letter and they were asking us if we have ever tried peanut butter and jelly with huckleberry.

[Tom Griswold]

That's it.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, there it is.

[Christy Lee]

This is also serendipitous. You know what today is?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you have a Huckleberry Hound's birthday.

[Christy Lee]

No, but.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my darling.

[Tom Griswold]

Date.

[Christy Lee]

Mark Twain's Adventures of Huckleberry Flynn was first produced. First produced. First published.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Christy Lee]

United States.

[Chick McGee]

Is it Huckle. Isn't it Huckleberry Flynn in Ireland?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

In like Flynn.

[Tom Griswold]

Boy. That would be a funny cartoon. It's. You've got Huckleberry Hound as Errol Flynn with a mustache. Cigarettes and. All right. Going after all the women and sword fighting and.

[Chick McGee]

And Getty Lee standing next to him. Tom Sawyer and Uncle Larry Flynn.

[Tom Griswold]

I was. I was skiing the other day and a guy had on a backpack.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

With a speaker in it.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Which he was jamming. Right.

[Tom Griswold]

And he was. I. It was. I suddenly I realized. Wait a minute. And he was playing. Playing the beginning of Tom Sawyer.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. By Rush.

[Tom Griswold]

And it was so cool. It was. Right. And I wasn't this guy.

[Josh Arnold]

Sort of.

[Christy Lee]

It didn't piss you off that you're trying to enjoy a peaceful sweet, by the way.

[Tom Griswold]

No. Not when he's playing Rush.

[Pat Godwin]

Are you in your butts? Are you in earbuds? Coming down the slopes?

[Tom Griswold]

No. No.

[Christy Lee]

You want to pay attention?

[Tom Griswold]

No, I gotta. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

I gotta.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't want to get hurt. I don't want to.

[Christy Lee]

So if that guy were. Had he been playing rap, you would have not had this reaction.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, he would have been in a snowboarder, and I would have tried to steer him into the trees. Once again, snowboarding is to ski or is what a. A bucket of diarrhea is to hollandaise sauce.

[Jess Hooker]

I have a big issue with speakers on the beach.

[Christy Lee]

Me too. I don't want to hear your music.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't either.

[Christy Lee]

I want to listen to the water.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't like it.

[Tom Griswold]

How about when someone pulls up and you hear that I have this wonderful huge bass?

[Chick McGee]

What do you think, Tom?

[Tom Griswold]

I think, I think, I think. I think that. I think probable cause, Frank.

[Christy Lee]

I think I feel sad for them. They're gonna lose their hearing at a very young age.

[Tom Griswold]

I've already lost mine.

[Josh Arnold]

So I feel like beach speakers.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Really stay within a five foot.

[Ali Breen]

Not.

[Jess Hooker]

No, not the speakers that are out there now.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

You know what I mean?

[Josh Arnold]

Like, I remember, you walk by and there'd be a radio every five feet and you wouldn't hear it. Sounded okay. Or whatever.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a new one out there. I'll have to look up the name of it. It's a. It's the size of a relatively small cooler. They have them all over where I was just skiing. And they are amazing.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. I didn't think about how well our heart rate.

[Christy Lee]

There are times when you just want quiet.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, cool.

[Tom Griswold]

Of course.

[Christy Lee]

I mean, you go to the resort.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't that what your husband says to you every day?

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Can you imagine? Oh, my God.

[Tom Griswold]

I just noticed that she's gotten so used to this.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It just rolls off of her.

[Christy Lee]

You know, I would love to see the word count on this show is how minus would be lower than all.

[Pat Godwin]

You know, she makes it.

[Tom Griswold]

Val. I love that idea.

[Pat Godwin]

We're talking about the breaks.

[Tom Griswold]

Word count.

[Chick McGee]

You know, there's some lunatic out there who's going to start counting our words. You wait and see.

[Tom Griswold]

There's probably an AI thing that'll do it.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and Tom Show. I don't think you were here for this topic, Tom. That's why I'm bringing it up. Please. Good morning, Bob and Tom Show. Please tell Jess Hooker thanks a lot. Now, every time I go to the bathroom for a major transaction, I look down trying to figure out how to going to lay my junk on the seat in front of me.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, this was really interesting.

[Jess Hooker]

What?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. You weren't here either, Christy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I, I.

[Jess Hooker]

So we were talking about the toilet that flushes 7. 7 billion and somebody said something about like, well, your stuff is hanging in there. I don't know what it was.

[Chick McGee]

You need an elongated bowl.

[Jess Hooker]

And I thought you guys let your junk hang in the toilet bowl while you're doing a major transaction. And everybody was like, yeah. And I thought, butt that you guys just kind of grabbed your sack from the bottom and pulled it up and then laid everything right there on the.

[Josh Arnold]

Rested it on the front rim.

[Chick McGee]

On the front rim.

[Christy Lee]

How big is yours?

[Josh Arnold]

That's exactly what we were fascinated by, was that. Oh, my God. The assumption. Because you, why would, you know?

[Jess Hooker]

Why would I know? But, yeah, I just. The thought of it hanging in the toilet bowl was really.

[Tom Griswold]

No, but it doesn't hit the water when it does. That's why Hemingway took himself out. When your nuts hit the water, it's time to go.

[Josh Arnold]

But Jess assumed.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

The poop would get too close to.

[Jess Hooker]

I did.

[Josh Arnold]

And it doesn't.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

I didn't know I did it.

[Chick McGee]

I'm sure there are some of our brethren. There are brethren out there that has a, Have a penis dangling in a toilet in the water.

[Tom Griswold]

I think they meant the sack, though. Right.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Jess Hooker]

I thought that you would use your sack as like a hammer stomach type thing to lay your, Bring your whole package.

[Tom Griswold]

And I thought I had absolutely no, no knowledge of the human body. Now I realize you're in the same league.

[Josh Arnold]

It's like this much space, especially with the elongated. And that's why it came up.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I guess that's.

[Christy Lee]

I guess if you had the small round.

[Jess Hooker]

I'm not good with proportions.

[Josh Arnold]

Even if you have the tiny small round.

[Christy Lee]

That's why John loves you.

[Josh Arnold]

You're not, you're not doing that. We're not, we're not resting our.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I, I, I was in an Airbnb over the weekend and one of the toilet facilities, I didn't, Wasn't really paying attention. You know how it was significantly lower?

[Jess Hooker]

Okay. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And you sit down and it's like that feeling when you're in a ladder and you start to fall.

[Christy Lee]

Whoa.

[Tom Griswold]

And it's smaller and like, it must have been like a little kitty toilet.

[Josh Arnold]

But, you know, that might have been good for you. It was sort of had sort of a squatty potty effect.

[Chick McGee]

Are you aware of the squatty potty potty?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, I am.

[Chick McGee]

Perhaps you need, need one?

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, I wasn't having any problems. It was just, it was, it was a foreign facility. Yeah, Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

A road trip, if you will.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. And then we got into the whole thing. Yesterday about the difficulties of. If you're wearing certain types of, say, for example, ski clothing, especially for the ladies, you've got to do it. You gotta.

[Christy Lee]

You gotta take everything off.

[Tom Griswold]

You got three layers and zippers.

[Jess Hooker]

That's a lot.

[Chick McGee]

What does one do in one skiing? How does one hold it? Avoid their vowels.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, if you're on a chairlift and the chairlift stops and is broken and you. That. That's one of the worst things of all time.

[Josh Arnold]

We can all relate to that.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the thing about me. Relatable, a man of the people.

[Jess Hooker]

Not even close.

[Tom Griswold]

Yesterday I almost had to move. I was watching. I was watching Finn swim meet, and the lady in front of me had the worst perfume. Oh, yeah. And it was just. I could taste it in my throat.

[Christy Lee]

I hate that.

[Jess Hooker]

I just had a situation like.

[Tom Griswold]

But there weren't. There weren't enough seats for me to.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

But then even after you leave, you can still taste it.

[Josh Arnold]

The worst.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Do you say something? I think you would say something.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no. What are you gonna say?

[Jess Hooker]

Hey, not too extreme.

[Tom Griswold]

Here's $3. Buy some better perfume. And it'd be just thick with no.

[Josh Arnold]

Reason to do it. It's a form of bullying.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Really?

[Pat Godwin]

I don't think they know you hate.

[Tom Griswold]

Perfume more than I do, do we?

[Josh Arnold]

You know, it's because. Yeah. Weird allergy to it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I'm sorry.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, let's.

[Pat Godwin]

Not that weird. It's annoying. That smell.

[Tom Griswold]

That kind of leads us to one of the news stories Christy has about. We talk about first dates a lot.

[Christy Lee]

A new survey finds nearly three and four men say they would take someone that's three and four to a fast food restaurant on a first date. Okay, the dating news.

[Josh Arnold]

I have reasons why it's a good idea.

[Chick McGee]

Let's go.

[Ali Breen]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And I do as well. Yeah. Have a whopper.

[Christy Lee]

The Dating News poll of 1500 US adults revealed 70% of singles overall say they would be open to a first date at a fast food restaurant. 40% of women said fast food dates seem low effort compared to just 20% of men who felt that way. Half of respondents said they prioritize vibes over cost when planning a first date.

[Tom Griswold]

I think that's if it's too formal and too fancy and you're all dressed up.

[Josh Arnold]

Up.

[Tom Griswold]

It's too much pressure.

[Christy Lee]

Many described low cost meetups as more relaxed and less pressured than traditional romantic dinners. Other popular budget friendly options included coffee shops, of course, and ice cream or dessert spots. Well, what about meeting in the middle. What about, like, your Applebees or, you know, those kind of restaurants?

[Tom Griswold]

How about. You want to go. How about in and out? No, that's me and you after our date at McDonald's.

[Josh Arnold]

Boy, if that guy. If she sticks around that guy.

[Chick McGee]

That's a sin. You stick around right here. I'm gonna go in the pharmacy and get some rubbers.

[Tom Griswold]

Just what I'm. Just what I'm looking for. I think it.

[Chick McGee]

Does the man always pay first date for the dinner?

[Josh Arnold]

I do.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I think so.

[Chick McGee]

I don't.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm just setting the romance tone.

[Tom Griswold]

What is that, Pat?

[Christy Lee]

That's his keyboard.

[Tom Griswold]

He's holding his guitar, I'm guessing. This is really throwing me. Are you playing that with your.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that's sustain, all right. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Ladies and gentlemen, Pat Godwin's playing two.

[Josh Arnold]

Instruments at the same time. He has both hands on his guitar, so that means he's playing that keyboard with only one finger. That's a talent.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm Dick, Oregon, the keyboard player.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm Dick Arachi.

[Chick McGee]

Sing it.

[Pat Godwin]

Dates at White Castle on the hours we spend Onion breath kisses from your cheapskate boyfriend Romance and sliders Bright lights in your man how you'll treasure those memories and those nights on the can I love you, you Yes, I love.

[Tom Griswold]

You.

[Pat Godwin]

I love you. To get your flute out oh, yeah, man. And then I'll do a poem. That is beautiful.

[Chick McGee]

My flute's sticking.

[Pat Godwin]

In the parking. In the parking lot Drink your wine Castle combos 549 impassioned lovers, wrestlers one want no carbs, skip the bun There's a thin line between lunch and hate so keep it simple On a first date Very nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, nice. Tribute to the Moody Boys. That was great. Playing the organ at the same. It's like Getty Lee hitting the foot pedals up on stage with a rush.

[Josh Arnold]

A fast food first date. I consider it not a first date, but a half date. Okay, that makes any sense because it has. No. What it has done for me is there's a. There's a natural in. You'll have a conversation with, like. Let's say you have a crush on a co worker.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a man. I had Taco Bell last night. Oh, what's your go to Taco Bell order? Oh, it's this.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, man.

[Josh Arnold]

Mine's this. You know what? We need to go to Taco Bell. You're in. It's your first time. You can. And it's. It feels so natural and relaxed.

[Tom Griswold]

Then you pick up a taco, hold it Sideways, lick it and go. This is me and you later.

[Pat Godwin]

What happened?

[Christy Lee]

What is wrong with you?

[Pat Godwin]

The dates over.

[Chick McGee]

See, that's another example of you going too far.

[Josh Arnold]

Once again, it's sort of because. Because Tom's angle on. On anything like that is always something like that.

[Jess Hooker]

The exact opposite of what he is in real life.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay, that is true.

[Tom Griswold]

I get it out while here. Now, would you. Would you. Then when you get to the Taco Bell, back to your real case, would you pay for it?

[Josh Arnold]

I would.

[Tom Griswold]

You'd go to the counter, go, I got this.

[Josh Arnold]

Yep. Yeah. And I'd even maybe make a joke, like, you know, I got this. That's right. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what I mean? Like, it's a big deal.

[Christy Lee]

Okay, I can see that scenario. But what if this is a person you've met on a dating app? You don't really know this person very well.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that's.

[Christy Lee]

And you go, all right, let's. I would love to meet up. How about meeting me at McDonald's?

[Josh Arnold]

Right, that's.

[Christy Lee]

Then is that a test date or is that.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know. In that case, a coffee dessert. I wonder.

[Tom Griswold]

Like the survey, I would assume number one would be coffee shops.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. That's usually a first date dap. A date app thing.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And I. There's one. One I go to where it must be in. Some people always seem to be there. I can tell they're all. Sometimes I'll be listening. You can kind of tell them the.

[Jess Hooker]

Farmers market is one too, where you see. Interesting, because you'll see, like, people standing at the entrance waiting. And then I'll watch and see them meet up, and it'll be like two or three different first dates.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm also a big fan of first dates. You drive separately. You ride separately.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I have an idea.

[Chick McGee]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

On this show, what would it be like if we did a show one time? Like I said, we'll say, for example, we're going to be doing our special baseball show in Cincinnati.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

What if we had someone on a first date come and sit down with us and we would sort of do a little bit of.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

You mean somebody on a last date?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

We might as well start there because that's where it's ending up.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't think we'd be helpful?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, gosh, no.

[Christy Lee]

Have you listened at 9, 10 and.

[Jess Hooker]

We'Re broadcasting from a bar at 6am yeah. So do you want that to be your first date experience?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, no, but I mean, if you said, hey, look.

[Christy Lee]

Gonna be part of a stunt.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, we got set up and we're gonna be. I think we'd be really good at it. You know, find out what this guy's interested in, what she's interested in.

[Christy Lee]

You know, another spot where I see a lot of that Panera Bread.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay, that sounds right.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what?

[Chick McGee]

I was.

[Pat Godwin]

I was taken to do paddle boats.

[Josh Arnold]

On a first date.

[Pat Godwin]

First date paddle boats.

[Josh Arnold]

You were taken?

[Jess Hooker]

You didn't even plan it.

[Pat Godwin]

No, no. I mean, I was asked to go on the first date night was paddle boats.

[Tom Griswold]

The ones that are like bicycles.

[Pat Godwin]

Exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

The first 20ft, that's like the.

[Chick McGee]

That's the.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the worst kind of boat ever.

[Josh Arnold]

The first 20ft of a paddle boat is fine. And then you go, oh, man, now.

[Christy Lee]

I got to get back.

[Chick McGee]

This has turned into a job.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. That's awful. Maybe go sailing where you can help each other with.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, everyone knows how to jump on a sailboat. Yes. And they go sailing and skiing and then go shopping.

[Pat Godwin]

The Airbnb.

[Tom Griswold]

That sounds like a pretty good time.

[Chick McGee]

Rodeo Drive a line.

[Josh Arnold]

We'll get a pet. Maybe go sailing.

[Jess Hooker]

I've never seen a paddle boat as a romantic activity. Like, if we were on the paddle boat, it was because we just stole some beers from our parents and we were taken off to the middle of the lake to chug them.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I.

[Chick McGee]

That's.

[Tom Griswold]

I agree. Paddleboat's awful.

[Chick McGee]

What about a paddle boat shaped like a duck or something?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Like, those are swans and stuff.

[Chick McGee]

They're cute.

[Tom Griswold]

It looks romantic in the movies to get on it and you're sweating and you're uncomfortable.

[Josh Arnold]

I would see people on dates do that all the time at a place I lived that had one of those lakes and there were swan shaped ones. Absolutely. But it looked. I would look at him and go, man, that sucks, man.

[Tom Griswold]

Hot, sweaty.

[Josh Arnold]

That's an old archetype, right, of the man in a rowboat taking.

[Chick McGee]

Playing the banjos.

[Tom Griswold]

But see, in the ride. In the ride rowboat, at least you're facing each other in theory. Whereas in the paddle boat, you're side by side. Yeah. And you're. Hey, you're not leg grab. You're not keeping up your.

[Josh Arnold]

I want. I don't want that. I want any date. I want the woman to be able to escape if she wants to. Don't you. Don't you want her to be able to go, you know what? This isn't for me. I'm out.

[Christy Lee]

Or don't you want to have an escape?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I want the woman to be as comfortable as possible.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

So that I can. So that my lies go over better.

[Tom Griswold]

Right, Right, right, right. Now, have you ever run a date? Said to her, hey, are you gonna eat that?

[Christy Lee]

All right, We've done our work here.

[Josh Arnold]

No, but I promise, I assure you this is completely true. I had the opposite happen.

[Jess Hooker]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Are you kidding?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. And she was a very fit woman. She was in great shape. She had a killer body. And she goes, are you gonna finish that? And she pointed to the baked potato jacket. It was just the skin.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, okay.

[Josh Arnold]

And I go, no. And she took it. And she took a ramekin of ranch and filled the potato skin.

[Jess Hooker]

Stop it.

[Tom Griswold]

And you said, I am.

[Chick McGee]

Completely honest. This girl's got everything.

[Tom Griswold]

First of all, who got the extra ramekin of ranch? I thought we were out.

[Josh Arnold]

I loved that it happened that she.

[Jess Hooker]

Was that comfortable doing it.

[Tom Griswold]

That's great. No, that really is great.

[Josh Arnold]

But if I do that on a date.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, no.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

There's a different vibe to it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Okay. Sorry. We have a lot of fun.

[Josh Arnold]

Didn't you? You really enjoyed.

[Christy Lee]

We have more date news coming up.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Right now. Now let's see. Where are we in life?

[Chick McGee]

I'm going to tell you about Simply Safe. Tom. That's right. You all. We all. Everybody wants peace of mind. It starts with knowing your home safe. Your compound where you play with your toys. That's why I trust Simply Safe. Been a big fan for over 10 years. Easy to set up at home. Even you Simply Safe here at the Bob and Tom studios. You know, traditional security systems only take action after somebody's already broken into your home. That is.

[Tom Griswold]

Is.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Too late. Simplisafe has active guard outdoor protection that can help prevent break ins before they happen. It's AI powered cameras backed by live professional monitoring agents monitor your property and detect suspicious activity. If someone's lurking around or acting suspiciously, the agents see and talk to them in real time. Activate spotlights and even contact the police. All before the lurker has a chance to get inside your home. Plus, Simply Safe. No long term contracts or cancellation fees. Monitoring plans start affordably at around a dollar a day and 60 day satisfaction guaranteed. Or your money back. And oh, by the way, named best home security system by U.S. news World Report for five years in a row and ranked number one in customer service among home security providers by both Newsweek and USA Today. And we've got a swell deal for you. Protect your home today and enjoy 50% off. A new Simplisafe system with professional monitoring. Go to simplisafetom.com that's simplisafetom.com and get 50% off your system. There's no safe like SimpliSafe.

[Tom Griswold]

Thanks very much, Chick. By the way, Emo Phillips and little Timmy Cavanaugh. Beginning tonight, they're going to be at the Columbus, Ohio Funny Bone. Then they'll be making stops at Summit City and Fort Wayne and the Toledo Funny Bone, all coming up in the next several days. A must see show. Emo is a legend in comedy and Tim is great. So check that out if you can. We're coming right Back to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom Show. Sponsored in part by Java House, the official coffee and refreshments of the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. In the O'Reilly Auto Part Arts Studios, there's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

Over there at the news desk, there's Pat Godwin.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

Jess Hooker's here.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold. Hi there. Ace Cosby. I'm Chick mcgee. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Chick mcgee.

[Chick McGee]

What have you got planned for us?

[Tom Griswold]

I. Oh, you want me to do a little bit of history for him.

[Christy Lee]

Well, that'd be good.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

Seems to be the.

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry. Someone asked me to do that and I forgot.

[Chick McGee]

Forgot? Yeah, it just. It just happened. But go ahead.

[Tom Griswold]

I got very busy yesterday. No.

[Jess Hooker]

And it's affecting you now.

[Chick McGee]

Are you kidding me?

[Tom Griswold]

Had to go to a swim meet.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, God.

[Jess Hooker]

Was it a public school?

[Chick McGee]

You should have heard him. Public school his first day.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yeah.

[Ali Breen]

He.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

His first day back. He. I'm behind. My exit was closed. Turned up my whole. Upside down. My whole day.

[Tom Griswold]

Closed it again today. Didn't bother putting a sign up.

[Christy Lee]

Why didn't you learn your lesson and go a different way?

[Tom Griswold]

Because I figured they'd put a sign up.

[Christy Lee]

It isn't the first time.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, well, it makes you think. Oh, they're gonna wise up. No. You thought they heard you.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a free way. If you're gonna close an exit, it might be nice to stick a sign up. That's all I'm saying.

[Josh Arnold]

When they close a road, Russ, they put up big signs. Like this one.

[Chick McGee]

Russ. Right here.

[Tom Griswold]

Dad.

[Chick McGee]

Man, oh, man.

[Josh Arnold]

50.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, what day. What day is today?

[Christy Lee]

February 18th.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, I've got my. Oh, did I show you my new calendar?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, God. Would you.

[Christy Lee]

For God's sake, what is it?

[Jess Hooker]

Did you.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a Today in History calendar.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, dude, that's a too long didn't read situation. That's so much info.

[Chick McGee]

Well, what's on?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's nothing.

[Josh Arnold]

Who didn't know what to get you for Christmas?

[Chick McGee]

And how did it get unwrapped and on your desk?

[Jess Hooker]

Well then it means they.

[Ali Breen]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Why is that the gift that made.

[Pat Godwin]

You don't open the other ones.

[Jess Hooker]

And that's from a kid.

[Chick McGee]

You've got a. An unbelievably wonderfully made miniature of an Almond Brothers guitar still in the fraking box over there. It's right here. And you unwrap here. There's two of them. Box ass jerk face. There's two. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm saving this for my birthday.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, you were given to it.

[Tom Griswold]

I unwrap the Dwayne Almond.

[Christy Lee]

What a lie.

[Chick McGee]

That's nice of you to save it Face.

[Josh Arnold]

Willpower.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey.

[Chick McGee]

His bald faced head and liar. That's what he is.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm sorry.

[Chick McGee]

I got my history.

[Josh Arnold]

It's March 4th.

[Tom Griswold]

I know. I can't find it today.

[Christy Lee]

You can't find Wednesday, February 18th. You've got it right there. You just tore the page.

[Tom Griswold]

No, but the piece of paper. This has only got one thing. It's about the first Academy awards.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that's interesting. Wings was best picture and.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, way too boring.

[Chick McGee]

But Wings has a great scene. The. The dolly scene.

[Josh Arnold]

Wings is incredible.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that the Howard Hughes?

[Josh Arnold]

It isn't, but it's similar. There's. There's. There are similar scenes.

[Chick McGee]

There's a scene in there where you think there's no way this could have been done in 1927 or whatever it was.

[Christy Lee]

Did you find it? I found it.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. But I thought. Didn't Howard Hughes make one of these?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, but it wasn't Wings.

[Tom Griswold]

What was it?

[Josh Arnold]

I don't remember what that was called.

[Chick McGee]

Hell from above or something like that.

[Pat Godwin]

Porky's.

[Tom Griswold]

What? Struts, Wheels, propellers. Okay, here.

[Josh Arnold]

Untrimmed nails.

[Tom Griswold]

You know this isn't.

[Chick McGee]

Let's question history.

[Christy Lee]

I have it right here.

[Josh Arnold]

I got. Okay, tell them Mark.

[Tom Griswold]

I've look at. There's a lot of paper around here.

[Chick McGee]

Well, I'm for someone who works so hard 24 hours a day on getting himself together. You are the most unorganized person on the face of the earth.

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry.

[Christy Lee]

Cluttered blue.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a good color on top. Very good. Dark gray.

[Jess Hooker]

Like that?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Matches.

[Christy Lee]

Is it gray or blue?

[Josh Arnold]

His power.

[Chick McGee]

Cerulean 1 match. Massive cerulean over there.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's a Sid Mashburn. Thank you.

[Christy Lee]

Of course now that's showing up on my Instagram.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, Sid. Okay.

[Chick McGee]

He puts out a nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay today in history.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, you know what I was reminded of yesterday? I totally forgot.

[Chick McGee]

I'll take anything. Yes, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

That in the movie mash, it was Duvall who played Frank Burns. Yeah, I totally forgot about that. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Josh Arnold]

Because who played him on the show? What was that actor name?

[Tom Griswold]

Larry Linville.

[Josh Arnold]

Larry Lynn. To me, that is Frank Burns. And I totally forgot it was Deval.

[Chick McGee]

Frank Burns eats worms.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, Larry. And Larry Linville was. And he's the. Who was the guy that quit first on the TV show, man?

[Josh Arnold]

BJ Honeycutt was second, right?

[Chick McGee]

Wayne Rogers.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

Well, he became a crazy real estate developer or something.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, so he made plenty of money.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, he used to. He used to be in one of the. The channels doing one of those business channels. Okay, today's February 18th. You named the first one.

[Jess Hooker]

What?

[Christy Lee]

The Huckleberry Finn thing.

[Tom Griswold]

Huckleberry Finn.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I heard it on the way in, I'm not gonna lie.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Why haven't they named a fish Huckleberry Finn? Wouldn't that be cute?

[Josh Arnold]

Every fish I catch now is called Huckleberry.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome, welcome.

[Josh Arnold]

Maybe Finn Wolfhard also. Let's do some.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's do some birthdays here. Okay, Here we go. Go. 1954. John Travolta.

[Chick McGee]

This is the worst feature.

[Josh Arnold]

I love John.

[Tom Griswold]

He's a terrific actor. And he is one misstep. Did you ever see that movie after he got super famous, he made Saturday Night Fever, then Grease. And then they did this movie where.

[Chick McGee]

El Ron Hubbard did the screenplay or something.

[Tom Griswold]

The one where he. He gets hooked up with Stallone. No, no, no. Lily.

[Chick McGee]

Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Lily Tomlin.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yes, I've seen the COVID of that, but I don't same.

[Chick McGee]

I've only moment to moment or moment.

[Tom Griswold]

That is really bad.

[Josh Arnold]

I've heard Staying Alive is awful.

[Pat Godwin]

That's the one.

[Josh Arnold]

I was the one Stallone directed. It's the sequel to Saturday. Yeah, it's not good, but man, he's all. He's great.

[Tom Griswold]

Happy birthday. Sybil Shepherd.

[Josh Arnold]

I always liked her too.

[Christy Lee]

Lighting.

[Jess Hooker]

Love, Maddie.

[Tom Griswold]

And great in the movie the Last Picture Show.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, sexy is all. Get out.

[Christy Lee]

I love. Very pretty.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a terrific movie.

[Josh Arnold]

She's frosty though, doesn't she? Kind of seem like she.

[Christy Lee]

You think?

[Chick McGee]

Do you know how many Sleep With Me?

[Tom Griswold]

One of my favorites. Born in 1920. Jack Palance.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, he's great.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember the.

[Christy Lee]

Doesn't he do the one arm push.

[Tom Griswold]

Up when he got the Academy Award. Very good, very good.

[Josh Arnold]

Do you remember his role that he won for that?

[Christy Lee]

Nope.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

Curly and City Slickers. Oh, an unlikely win, but a really well deserved.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

That's unusual.

[Tom Griswold]

And to be Curly and not be associated with the Three Stooges. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

In your brain, man. In your brain.

[Chick McGee]

I would love to see all the bells and whistles going on in your brain. Mention the Three Stooges.

[Tom Griswold]

I am a huge Shemp fan. 1930, astronomer Clyde Tombaugh discovered.

[Josh Arnold]

What, the Milky Way?

[Tom Griswold]

No. Pluto. He's got to be sad now.

[Christy Lee]

It's not even a planet.

[Tom Griswold]

They don't even call it a planet anymore. I don't buy it. It's still a planet to me. Me.

[Chick McGee]

But they're still, they're still, they still mention Pluto. It's like the farthest.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but it's a moon.

[Josh Arnold]

What do they call, like a sub planet?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's wrong. And they changed the name of the brontosaurus. I'm not buying any of that.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, God.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, he's on.

[Chick McGee]

You know, I'm sitting in the room and I've known him for 40 years and I don't know what he's talking about. What are you talking about?

[Tom Griswold]

The brontosaurus. No longer. They.

[Chick McGee]

It's a brachiosaurus. Well then why say brontosaurus?

[Tom Griswold]

It's millions of years old. You can't just change, change it.

[Chick McGee]

I think they can.

[Tom Griswold]

Finally, on this date, David Gilmore joins Pink Floyd. And a great moment in the world of music history.

[Chick McGee]

Rare, mysterious, not at all.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you so much.

[Chick McGee]

Wish you were here.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, we have news from the world of radioactive pigs.

[Chick McGee]

And we'll try to do today in history again.

[Tom Griswold]

And a great story about beer pong. And it does involve an X ray and an in surgical procedure, so be careful out there. These are the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

More of the show is on the way. You can find us on X at Bob and Tom or you can email us at Bob and tom. Bob and tom.com.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, they say you can't really appreciate the noise. Do you appreciate the silence?

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Are you happy with the way today's going? Uhhuh. Okay, there's Christy Lee at the news desk. There's Pat Godwin. Hey, there's Jess Hooker.

[Jess Hooker]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

There's Joshua M. Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

I had two hard boiled eggs and some dill pickles. In 45 minutes, the fart festival will begin.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, couldn't you have waited till you left?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Couldn't you. Ten more minutes.

[Chick McGee]

I'm Chick. Hello. Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

I was talking earlier about this outdoor speaker thing. I was. It's called a Turtle Box. Oh, okay.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Things have come out of nowhere, and now everybody has.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, they've got. They've got one called the Grande.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, that.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, it's like you're at a.

[Josh Arnold]

Concert, so when people can't stand you talking about your Yeti cooler anymore, you get a turtle box. Right now you have a whole new 45 minutes.

[Chick McGee]

Exactly.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

They're like 4.99 or something.

[Tom Griswold]

The Grande. 730 bucks.

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Josh Arnold]

But I bet they're amazing.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. The one I was using was the original Gen 3, they call it.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay, will you gift us each one of those?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, so you.

[Tom Griswold]

That one's. Yeah. That one's 430 bucks. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

So the answer is yes.

[Tom Griswold]

We can crank. Crank it up.

[Christy Lee]

What color did you have?

[Tom Griswold]

Get some Rush on a red.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, the red one.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's move forward here. We have Christy Lee at the news desk. We missed. Oh, you wanted me to finish. You won't really want me to finish today on History.

[Josh Arnold]

Christy, you're a rock fan.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Do you like Rush?

[Christy Lee]

They're okay. I don't. I'm not a. I'm not the typical woman. I've actually seen them in concert.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, okay.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And what was it like being surrounded by 15, 000 guys?

[Christy Lee]

That's exactly what I was gonna say. I was one of very few women there, but I don't seek it out. I don't listen.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, scared the hell.

[Pat Godwin]

I think.

[Christy Lee]

I was in Rock Jock, so I would.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. They're going on a tour this summer of.

[Chick McGee]

Of sorts.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Are you going to.

[Josh Arnold]

I would have loved to have seen the original six.

[Christy Lee]

Six.

[Josh Arnold]

Very early on.

[Chick McGee]

There was Rush plus three, remember?

[Tom Griswold]

Which sounds like they've got six guys up there. It does. Okay. Did you want me to finish the day in history?

[Christy Lee]

We. We want you to do whatever you want.

[Chick McGee]

Ask one more time. Ask us again.

[Tom Griswold]

1933. Happy birthday, Yoko Ono. She's getting up there.

[Josh Arnold]

That's her singing. That's her singing with Chuck Berry and John Lennon.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's a classic moment. What is that? Was it Merv Griffin? What was it?

[Pat Godwin]

No, it was Mike Douglas show in Philadelphia.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, man, that was rough.

[Josh Arnold]

They just turned her mic off.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, you had to.

[Tom Griswold]

Vanna White, born in 1957. Sure that she's dyslexic that's why she always walks to the wrong side. I made that up.

[Josh Arnold]

Boy, her job got real easy when all she had to do was point. Remember? She just have to physically turn.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, she doesn't do anything now.

[Christy Lee]

She just. Bing. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Dr. Dre. What is he, an orthopedic surgeon?

[Josh Arnold]

He is.

[Tom Griswold]

I see. I see. Happy birthday, dre. Born in 65.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, you're gonna call him Dre, huh?

[Tom Griswold]

Is that what you're supposed to do?

[Jess Hooker]

You can.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not sure who he is, but.

[Pat Godwin]

By the way, the best.

[Josh Arnold]

A mogul in the world.

[Pat Godwin]

Great producer. Good stuff.

[Chick McGee]

I think he gave us snoop, did he not? Yep.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

The Chronic.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's see. Levy and Bell.

[Chick McGee]

Football player, running back.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Famously quit for a year and never made the salary up.

[Tom Griswold]

You know his cousin, Taco?

[Josh Arnold]

Taco Bell. He's not even trying.

[Christy Lee]

No, he's not.

[Chick McGee]

How about. How about no? I need a ward. Ring my bell. I forgot. Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Gonna ring my bell.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. Didn't ask for that.

[Tom Griswold]

That'll pretty much cover it. I think we got everybody in there. I'm sorry. I couldn't find it earlier. Really? Christy Lee, what's happening over at the news desk?

[Christy Lee]

Well, you're talking about coolers. Coolers hold beer. That leads me to this. A 19 year old needed surgery after a beer pong accident.

[Tom Griswold]

Whoa.

[Christy Lee]

According to physicians in New York State, the young man came to the ER after accidentally ingesting a beer bottle.

[Chick McGee]

Cap.

[Christy Lee]

Cap. He's playing it wrong. He explained that while playing beer pong, the cap from a glass beer bottle had unknowingly fallen into his red Solo cup.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Which he then drank from.

[Josh Arnold]

Yikes.

[Christy Lee]

X rays showed a disc shaped object consistent with a metallic bottle cap lodged in the patient. Oh, I'm just reading what I.

[Tom Griswold]

This is from a medical journal.

[Chick McGee]

I know how to play the game through a bottle.

[Josh Arnold]

And it's not your fault.

[Tom Griswold]

Do we have the X ray? Put the X ray up there.

[Chick McGee]

That could be anything. It's just circling.

[Christy Lee]

Where in the hell is it?

[Tom Griswold]

It's. You can see that circular thing.

[Chick McGee]

Where?

[Josh Arnold]

Especially on the right. It's very faint. Yes, it's under his shirt or gown or whatever.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Oh, I see.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a.

[Christy Lee]

Due to the potential for damage or perforation.

[Josh Arnold]

Pointing right to it.

[Chick McGee]

Nope, don't see it. I don't have it.

[Christy Lee]

The man underwent an emergency rigid esophagus.

[Chick McGee]

That's a square. Is that square?

[Jess Hooker]

No, it's the. It's from the side.

[Tom Griswold]

You think that's pronounced that's it. Esophage.

[Christy Lee]

Esophagoscopy.

[Tom Griswold]

Very. That must be it.

[Christy Lee]

No, Esophagoscopy.

[Josh Arnold]

It's big Bird's friend, right?

[Christy Lee]

Esophagus.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Christy Lee]

Bird.

[Tom Griswold]

So what did they have like a.

[Chick McGee]

Did you see Oscar?

[Christy Lee]

They got the bottle like a tube.

[Tom Griswold]

With an alligator clip in the end.

[Chick McGee]

That is dead on for snuffle up.

[Tom Griswold]

That's good. You got to add that.

[Chick McGee]

Damn right.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, he had the. He had gorgeous eyelashes.

[Chick McGee]

Unbelievably long lost lashes. Is. It's common.

[Josh Arnold]

You even know who we're talking about?

[Chick McGee]

Snuffle up.

[Jess Hooker]

He's so annoyed right now.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, he doesn't like this at all.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no. I'm waiting for the.

[Chick McGee]

You know what. Plural.

[Josh Arnold]

Nothing can ever follow Taco Bell.

[Tom Griswold]

We can't close after reading ahead, waiting for any kind of assistance.

[Chick McGee]

That was a real hoot.

[Tom Griswold]

So why are you talking about. About snuffle.

[Chick McGee]

A golf. A lump of guy. That's your.

[Jess Hooker]

It sounds like the surgery.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Sounds just like never, so.

[Tom Griswold]

But I mean, how drunk do you have to be to be to swallow a bottle?

[Josh Arnold]

I don't think you have to be that drunk.

[Christy Lee]

Well, it says here, doctors noted in the case report, the patient last ingested alcohol 30 minutes prior to surgery and was mildly inebriated. And I. I think when you're playing beer pong, it hits the cup. You just pick it up and drink it. You don't.

[Ali Breen]

No, you don't look.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, you don't look.

[Tom Griswold]

And.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You know, plus you're probably drunk already.

[Tom Griswold]

Back in my day, it's. It's considered part of the worm. You just keep on swallowing. I gotta go get it taken out by Dr. You Big. It'll come through on its own.

[Jess Hooker]

All right.

[Josh Arnold]

If you go to a standard liquor store.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Are they selling tequila with worms in them?

[Pat Godwin]

No, no.

[Jess Hooker]

I haven't seen that in a long time.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I haven't seen it.

[Tom Griswold]

Why not?

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know.

[Pat Godwin]

We're not allowed to probably.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, there's probably some.

[Chick McGee]

Come on. It's the worm embargo of 1998.

[Jess Hooker]

You guys remember suckers? The tequila suckers that had the.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

And you can also just. Candy suckers. Scorpions.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Those are real.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Weird treats.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, good.

[Chick McGee]

Ever have a scorpion sucker?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Did you like the movie? I'm gonna get you, sucker.

[Josh Arnold]

I love that movie. At least I did when I was 14 or whatever. Right.

[Chick McGee]

And remember the Jim Brown movie he was in? Gun.

[Josh Arnold]

I never saw.

[Tom Griswold]

I wonder what that's about gun. Is it. Is it a rom com?

[Chick McGee]

Gone.

[Tom Griswold]

What's coming up, Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Coming up, we have Ali Breen. Oh, yeah. Sexy time.

[Josh Arnold]

More sex.

[Christy Lee]

Did you say more sex?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

With a special guest appearance by Jess Hooker.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I'm gonna be sitting in for Aussie for the next couple months.

[Tom Griswold]

Aussie's having a baby any day now.

[Chick McGee]

A baby? I don't know where that came from.

[Tom Griswold]

She learned how to have a baby from listening to this show.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, really?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. You think she needed our instruction? I don't think.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, no, she didn't, but the her man did.

[Ali Breen]

Oh, wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Clear on.

[Josh Arnold]

You just got to leave it in, Donnie.

[Jess Hooker]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

No, don't put rush your hair. Will you stop putting it on the curtains?

[Tom Griswold]

Just leave it in.

[Chick McGee]

What's that joke? I wiping on the curtain? She goes crazy. Remember that?

[Tom Griswold]

It's the guy golfing in Japan. He goes, what? What? What mean wrong hole.

[Chick McGee]

What mean wrong hole? Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Chick McGee]

That's a classic, everybody.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay, These are the worst at telling jokes.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, we've want to hear the real ver.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, hang on real quick. We've got. We've got this, cuz Jess is here.

[Tom Griswold]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

Now that's.

[Tom Griswold]

You're the one snoring, I'm yawning. And then Josh is.

[Jess Hooker]

That's your puke noise.

[Josh Arnold]

That's my brother John puking.

[Chick McGee]

And here's. This is all of them together.

[Tom Griswold]

That sounds like Jurassic Park.

[Chick McGee]

You tell me this ain't entertainment, I'll catch you.

[Tom Griswold]

That's. That's Taco Bell. Levy on's. Right now.

[Christy Lee]

I can't wait to get in my car.

[Tom Griswold]

But Christy Lee is our car girl. And she's also a Hyundai girl.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, I am.

[Tom Griswold]

I love some kind of hero drives a Hyundai.

[Christy Lee]

A Hyundai with a hybrid too. And I. You get a lot of gas miles. Do they call it gas mileage if you're using electricity?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Hyundai Palisade gets a. Interestingly enough, the range of some 619 miles, according to EPA estimates. That's a long way you can go from here to there and not have to worry about any problems in that field. If you were concerned about that, the hybrid also gets great gas mileage. And tell me more about the interior, Christina.

[Christy Lee]

Interior is wonderful.

[Ali Breen]

It's.

[Christy Lee]

They really care about driver company comfort. The seats are heated, they're air conditioned, they're a driver. Sports mode. There's the smart mode, there's the economy mode. It's just a great, great car. Yeah. Stocky comes with every car.

[Tom Griswold]

Now they. The motto of the Hyundai Palisade Hybrid is no cleats on the seats.

[Christy Lee]

That's because it's a seven seater and the two back seats are captain's chairs. So the third seat, you can walk.

[Tom Griswold]

Between those two seats to get to the back. You don't have to climb over them.

[Chick McGee]

Those are your captain's shells.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, I am your captain.

[Christy Lee]

It's got a lot of cargo space. If you don't need that third seat, you just hit a button and it goes cargo.

[Chick McGee]

Zoom, zoom.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, wait a minute. Does it make when you hit the button? What sound does it make?

[Chick McGee]

Does it.

[Tom Griswold]

Does it make. The sound goes. Yeah, that. That was one of the early models.

[Josh Arnold]

What sound is the. The Italian car make when a tire. Oh, never mind.

[Christy Lee]

Visit Hyundai USA.com or give them a call. 562-314-4603. That's 4603. For more details, Hyundai USA.com beautiful Palisade.

[Tom Griswold]

Hybrid with a range 619 miles.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm sorry. I saw one on the road yesterday and I was. That is a fine car.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

And I don't. Usually cars don't get my attention. And that one did.

[Tom Griswold]

It's Birdie and Christie's.

[Christy Lee]

Our car. Car girl. I love my honey.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, you have a little tiny car. Maybe you could fit it in the back of your Palisade.

[Christy Lee]

Maybe.

[Tom Griswold]

We are going to return with Sexy Time with Ali Breen to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. In the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, there's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

He's at the news desk. There's Pat Godwin.

[Josh Arnold]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jess Hooker. Hello, Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi, there.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick McGee. And here we go. We're gonna help the lovelorn people with love problems.

[Tom Griswold]

Help young lovers or old lovers and. Oh, there she is in her library outfit. It's the lovely Allie Breen.

[Ali Breen]

Back to the glasses. I tried upping the font, but I still need glasses. It's bad.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Oh, you look great. They're a little bit larger. Large. Unusually small head. No, I'm sorry. They look just fine. Ali Breen is our consultant. In the world of romance and people send you letters. They have love troubles. And you're asking us to help you help them. And we're happy to do so. What have you got for starters?

[Ali Breen]

Dear Ally, I invited my girlfriend to my sister's wedding and she Wore the shortest, most low cut dress I've ever seen. Even if it was a friend's wedding, this would have been a lot. But to a family wedding, My whole family made comments about it. To me, not to her. But if I say something to her, it'll probably make her feel uncomfortable around them. Right. What would you guys do?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, it's over.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, it's all over.

[Josh Arnold]

Say nothing. Forget it.

[Ali Breen]

Yeah, yeah, it happened.

[Jess Hooker]

If she wears something like that again, then you can address it.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I know, but is that kind of bad decision going to be happening over and over again?

[Josh Arnold]

That's the biggest you can kind of see. Say, hey, I think most people are going to be wearing.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, yes.

[Jess Hooker]

And before the next event, go, hey, have you picked out your outfit? Can I see it? Like and, and go from there.

[Tom Griswold]

But isn't it. Aren't there sort of rules? Aren't ladies at weddings supposed to not outshine the bride?

[Christy Lee]

Yes, of course.

[Josh Arnold]

Right. This was a mistake. But you don't need to talk about how the family said anything. Nothing.

[Jess Hooker]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

You'll ruin her.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I'm not sure, but they're always going to be saying that.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, she made a bad first impression.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's fine. That's okay. She can get past it.

[Ali Breen]

I guess it is also like a level of awareness. If he's worried that in general, in life she doesn't have that gear, that might be a problem. But what can you do until she does it again? I guess.

[Tom Griswold]

Did she look really hot in it? Oh, sorry.

[Ali Breen]

Sounds like it. Probably.

[Josh Arnold]

That's the thing. She wanted to look good and that's what she thought was.

[Tom Griswold]

But I mean, isn't. Doesn't everybody kind of know? You don't.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, yeah, but that's beside the point. This is. This is her.

[Tom Griswold]

She made that decision.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe she's a prostitute.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Josh Arnold]

Have you considered that. That she's a.

[Chick McGee]

She was talking about that.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you wear. Do you wear a very short leather skirt to a wedding? I don't think so.

[Jess Hooker]

It wasn't leather. You and you.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

You put the leather in.

[Chick McGee]

Would you wear a leather. Holding a snake around your neck with the tattoo in a, you know. Bourbon.

[Josh Arnold]

This segment is what Ally says and what Tom hears.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, totally.

[Josh Arnold]

Big, big mar.

[Ali Breen]

Yeah, Tom's got her in a ball gag.

[Jess Hooker]

The Tom Filter is.

[Chick McGee]

And then of course, when Tom. Next letter, please.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, no, we're.

[Josh Arnold]

No, he's never, he never says please.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, next.

[Chick McGee]

There it is.

[Ali Breen]

Does he say, I am starting to get serious with A guy. But we have totally different schedules.

[Chick McGee]

Schedules.

[Ali Breen]

So when I stay at his place, he's up at 6am and I like to sleep late. So he wakes me up early, we have morning sex and it's starting to feel like work. If I go to bed afterwards, then when he comes back in to wake me up again, he goes in for more sex. Help.

[Josh Arnold]

Help.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, no.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know. That's tough. I mean, you know when your schedules don't line up and.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And you're being with someone you don't like.

[Pat Godwin]

Read the room though.

[Chick McGee]

That's tough.

[Josh Arnold]

You know that maybe. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

A lot of us have schedules that don't match. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And that can be very tricky.

[Ali Breen]

It's crazy. I mean, he could just wait, couldn't he? If he goes back in for more when he wakes her up later, can he just wait to have the sex? Or do guys really need it when they wake up with that? You know, they don't get it.

[Chick McGee]

They'll have blue ball pain day. No, no.

[Josh Arnold]

That can go away in a minute. Yes.

[Jess Hooker]

That's not real.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no, no. Blue balls can be real. Regardless of what Chick McGee says.

[Chick McGee]

It's a fairy tale formed by a.

[Josh Arnold]

There are a holes that have used it as an excuse.

[Ali Breen]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

But it's also a real thing.

[Ali Breen]

Okay, wait. So if I wakes up that way wants to have sex but then doesn't.

[Josh Arnold]

No.

[Ali Breen]

Will you at like 11aM get there again or it's just he's not going.

[Josh Arnold]

To have blue balls from that.

[Christy Lee]

Your body just reabsorbs it. Right.

[Josh Arnold]

Or the only way blue balls happens is. And it's so funny that I've said that word so many times. I feel like there's a limit and I've crossed it, but is if you. If there's physical activity with both people and it's getting. And it's reaching, reaching, reaching to a point and that point doesn't occur.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

That's when I have had it.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, gotcha.

[Josh Arnold]

And there is a real physical distortion. Comfort. That being said, it's never a time to go, oh, you have to do.

[Chick McGee]

Something because you got to do something.

[Josh Arnold]

That's where chick argument is absolutely legit. It's that. No, it's never.

[Chick McGee]

That's your problem.

[Tom Griswold]

Is there an actual blue color?

[Josh Arnold]

No, they do not turn blue unless you're in an igloo.

[Tom Griswold]

I see it. I'm glad. The science. The science part of our show is kicked in. We can move on. Ali Breen is our guest. Allie is a Very fine stand up comedian. And she spells her name A, L, L, I, pause, B, R, E, E, N. And you can reach her on your favorite social media platform. Allie, what else have you got?

[Ali Breen]

Dear Allie, I started dating a girl I met on Tinder. And after two months, we had the conversation where we decided to be serious and exclusive. Now, a month and a half later, she found out that she's pregnant. And she said, It's a 5050 chance. It's my baby.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

All right.

[Ali Breen]

Seeing two people then. And I knew it. So I guess I can't really be upset if it turns out it's not mine. I don't know what to do.

[Josh Arnold]

Wait, I'm sorry, Ali. He did.

[Ali Breen]

What was that?

[Josh Arnold]

Did she. Did he say if it turns out it's not mine, or it turned out.

[Ali Breen]

If it turns out it's not mine? I don't know what to do. We've already talked about moving in together, and she says if we love each other, it shouldn't be important, and we're going to raise the kid no matter what. But I think that's expecting a lot, don't you? You.

[Christy Lee]

Wow.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. If that's your opinion and you don't want to raise someone else's kid, then yeah, get out.

[Josh Arnold]

Right. I mean, is she planning on telling the other guy also that. That would. That would come into play.

[Christy Lee]

Don't get a test and just think it's yours.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you get a test in vitro?

[Christy Lee]

Yes. Yeah, absolutely.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, you can.

[Ali Breen]

I.

[Tom Griswold]

Does that involve, like a needle amnio?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they.

[Jess Hooker]

It's a huge needle right in.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Tom Griswold]

Ouch.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Wait a minute. Wow. No, it's not you.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, exactly. There's no ounce for the guy.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I'm just saying. I'm being sympathetic to the lady. I can see why she wouldn't want to do that. Although that would sort of clarify things. They could do kind of like a. Like a dinner, a Jerry Springer dinner where, you know, she goes in advance and has the waiter come out and undo a tray and there's a little doll that says it's you, junior or something.

[Ali Breen]

Yeah. Instead of a gender reveal, a paternity reveal. Ye invite everyone over for.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a whole new.

[Tom Griswold]

You could do. You could do both. You could have a. Because when they do that amnio, they would be able to tell that also, right?

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

If they get that fluid and they could tell boy, girl, slash daddy who it is, etc.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Well, it's pink. There's a pink balloon and a black balloon. I Guess that answers. All right, that question.

[Chick McGee]

Very awkward.

[Tom Griswold]

I told you to go to the sperm bank uptown.

[Josh Arnold]

You think?

[Chick McGee]

Are you. Oh, my God. You're happy with that?

[Jess Hooker]

I'm gonna go next.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you, Jess.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you, Jess. You're Bob and Tom. Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Wow's just shaking her head.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I don't blame.

[Pat Godwin]

Start the next letter.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, sorry.

[Chick McGee]

My God.

[Ali Breen]

I mean, I guess it's so different. People do IVF all the time now and adopt kids. I mean, it doesn't have to be.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. The only thing that we don't know, it sounds. It kind of sounds like this guy doesn't want to be a dad unless.

[Jess Hooker]

He'S forced to be.

[Ali Breen]

Yes, exactly. Unless it's biologically.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, this does sound like this does. I can sort of see this movie with Jennifer Aniston.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Is there a scenario where 10 years ago she does like one of the guys more than the other and it doesn't matter who the father is, and she'll just marry the guy she likes better?

[Josh Arnold]

That's what it sounds like she wants to do. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Is that what she. Okay, yeah, I'd be more for that.

[Tom Griswold]

And do you invite the other guy to the wedding? The real dad? This really gets ugly, doesn't it?

[Ali Breen]

Yeah, it gets complicated.

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry. Okay, we can move on with Allie Breen. Once again. What have you got over there, Allie?

[Ali Breen]

Dear Allie, my husband occasionally gets sports massages, and he definitely gets them with happy endings.

[Josh Arnold]

You definitely go, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, hey, hey. This isn't a lie laughing matter.

[Ali Breen]

This is very serious. Yeah. So he's really getting happy ending massages. And she knows it. It sounds like. Yeah, but she said it didn't really bother me at first, but now it seems he's going back to the same person every time, and it's weekly. And isn't that more like cheating or he's creating a relationship with somebody.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, sounds like it.

[Jess Hooker]

100%.

[Tom Griswold]

As soon as he starts asking you to make more Japanese food, you're really in trouble.

[Jess Hooker]

Josh, you're giving a face like you don't agree.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no, I do agree. I, I, he is.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Enjoying the company of another woman once a week.

[Jess Hooker]

You said a husband. This is a husband. They're married husband.

[Ali Breen]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

And he admitted to her that he's doing this.

[Jess Hooker]

That's insane.

[Ali Breen]

I don't think he admitted it. No, it just sounds like she sensed it and now she realizes it's the same person all the time.

[Josh Arnold]

How do we know that he really is.

[Christy Lee]

But how does she. Yeah, because I go to the Same massage, the therapist every couple years.

[Josh Arnold]

Exactly. That's kind of important because they know what to work on week to week.

[Christy Lee]

Exactly.

[Ali Breen]

Also, what if it's just like a 70 year old Japanese woman who's really good at it, but there's still no, you know, emotional connection.

[Josh Arnold]

Literally release and nothing else.

[Ali Breen]

Yes. Yeah. It could be she's just got a good technique. I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

I'm guessing she's not 70.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. And when it hits the newspaper, when he's walking out one day and there are six cop cars and a few photographers and they find out he owns the. They find out he owns the New England Patriots.

[Ali Breen]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Wow.

[Ali Breen]

Man.

[Tom Griswold]

It has to be illegal, right?

[Christy Lee]

It is, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

But isn't it a victimless crime, though?

[Josh Arnold]

It is.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Ali Breen]

That's what you think.

[Christy Lee]

Ask Robert Kraft.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

So do we have an answer here?

[Ali Breen]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I say he keeps doing it until he absolutely can't stand it if he's.

[Christy Lee]

Getting a happy ending. I'm with you. Jesse's cheating.

[Josh Arnold]

You're right. Yeah. You got to find out if he's actually getting happy.

[Christy Lee]

Right. You should assume.

[Chick McGee]

What. What if the guy.

[Christy Lee]

That's for a couple's massage.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Not a massage.

[Ali Breen]

There we go.

[Chick McGee]

What if he has one of those high end, expensive dolls and he has a relationship.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, no. We're gonna start this.

[Chick McGee]

I'm just saying, is that cheating or is that just.

[Ali Breen]

It's becoming it, though, because people are falling in love with those dolls. They're falling in love with those dolls.

[Tom Griswold]

And they're falling in love with. There sure, sure is no. No shortage of mental illness in our culture.

[Ali Breen]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Got my dolly.

[Josh Arnold]

Underestimate the power of loneliness.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, I got. I got my dolly.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, let's move on. Ali Breen is our guest. The show is Sexy Time. What have you got?

[Ali Breen]

Dear Ally, my husband and I have really good sex after 21 years of marriage.

[Josh Arnold]

Good.

[Ali Breen]

But instead of foreplay, he. He just watches a bunch of porn before we have sex.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Ali Breen]

We're in our late 50s. 50s. So sorry, I came in. We're in our late 50s. Oh. So he said I should just be happy he's not on Viagra? I still think that's kind of insulting. He never used to have to watch porn first. Should I try to spice it up beforehand to do something, or does he just need this?

[Jess Hooker]

Does it take more?

[Tom Griswold]

What kind of porn is it? I mean, if it's gay porn, you got a problem because you're Steve in the middle of it.

[Josh Arnold]

If he wants you to put On a Mets cap. Wow.

[Ali Breen]

And a beard.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Ali Breen]

Oh, man.

[Christy Lee]

Invite her to watch it.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what I mean? It just doesn't sound like you're comfortable with this. That's the main thing, right?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Ali Breen]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So what does he do? Is he looking at his phone? And then he goes, okay, roll over. I'm ready, probably.

[Ali Breen]

I mean, somebody like, sounds like, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I think I would be more comfortable.

[Jess Hooker]

With him taking Viagra, to be honest.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, God, yes.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I would rather that. No, not at all.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, he. Yeah, that. His argument was flimsy immediately.

[Ali Breen]

Yeah, that's definitely the case. But I guess what he's saying is it's an aid no matter what, you know? So he's still not.

[Tom Griswold]

I wonder what the. What. What the nature of the erotic cinema that he's viewing up on that.

[Christy Lee]

That really bothers me.

[Josh Arnold]

What? All right, well, Tom, what if it is your just. It's just heterosexual sex.

[Chick McGee]

He's watching straight sex.

[Josh Arnold]

What would your answer be?

[Tom Griswold]

I'm guessing it's not.

[Christy Lee]

I'm guessing.

[Jess Hooker]

No, no, no, the assumption.

[Pat Godwin]

She's been married for 21 years.

[Tom Griswold]

You're.

[Chick McGee]

You're a smart guy. You got into an Ivy League. Why do you think I bl.

[Tom Griswold]

I bluff my wife?

[Chick McGee]

Why do you think it's not just straight sex?

[Jess Hooker]

Because he thinks the worst of everyone.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, Tommy.

[Tom Griswold]

This guy can't be focused on his own situation. He's got to have a fantasy going on.

[Ali Breen]

But there is an issue sometimes when guys watch porn that's like a very different looking person than their girlfriend.

[Tom Griswold]

True.

[Ali Breen]

Like, that does bother girls, you know?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Ali Breen]

So there's a point Tom's making. I don't know that it has to be gay porn, but, I.

[Chick McGee]

Mean, aren't.

[Josh Arnold]

Women being unreasonable, though, with wanting. If the guy is going to watch porn, they want them to watch women who look just like them. That's completely unreasonable.

[Jess Hooker]

I would think the opposite.

[Christy Lee]

Opposite?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

What do you mean?

[Jess Hooker]

I would want him to look at somebody who looked nothing like.

[Josh Arnold]

You're being reasonable.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, but that's not what goes on, right?

[Ali Breen]

Yeah. I think most women get offended by this.

[Josh Arnold]

No, but Ali brought it up that there are women who go, oh, you're looking at someone who doesn't look just like me. That means you're not attractive.

[Tom Griswold]

Someone who's thin and attractive.

[Josh Arnold]

Now they say that there's a problem.

[Christy Lee]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. You're coming back.

[Christy Lee]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

I like it.

[Tom Griswold]

I like it. Allie, we have to check out. Are you working this weekend? I see you're back in the City.

[Ali Breen]

I'm back in the city.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I'm back in the city.

[Pat Godwin]

Joe Walsh.

[Ali Breen]

I'm back at the Ned. It's a hotel show on Friday. Saturday I'm at Gotham. And then the first week of March, I'll be in Reno. I'll get the actual locations, but that should be fun to be back on the road.

[Josh Arnold]

Great.

[Tom Griswold]

All right. You do such a nice job. Thank you, Ally.

[Ali Breen]

Thank you, guys.

[Chick McGee]

Bye.

[Josh Arnold]

Ally.

[Tom Griswold]

Ally. You can reach Ally. A L L I B R E E. Nice. Send us your. Send us your love troubles right now. I want to talk about one of them. I just love this thing. It's called the aura frame, and there's one right behind Josh here in our studios. And it's a picture frame and the pictures rotate. You load it full of digital pictures and. And videos, by the way, unlimited capacity. We got a whole bunch of them on there. And I loaded a bunch on. I was at my house, this thing was over here. And it's all done via the Internet through the magic of electric electricity.

[Chick McGee]

I just got an email. Mine's on the way. That I ordered yesterday.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, nice.

[Tom Griswold]

The aura frame. And we've got a special deal for you if you're a Bob and Tom show listener. 35 bucks off the best selling carver mat frame, which is that one. And you just go to aura frames.com to find out what's going on. It's a U R aura frames dot com. 35 bucks off. If you mentioned the Bob and Tom show.

[Josh Arnold]

Carver Matt is the name of my butcher.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you, Matt. Known for.

[Chick McGee]

You. You know that's not very good, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Uhhuh.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

And Slicer Steve.

[Josh Arnold]

Is Slicer Steve any good shape?

[Chick McGee]

No, I don't think so. No.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's see. Butcher Ben. I don't know. Let's see. We have the carver. No. Nice. Now you're making me do it. The aura frame. These are. These are so cool. And you can put all kinds of pictures. Pictures on it. And they rotate. Maybe you have it on your desk. You can review your entire life.

[Chick McGee]

I'm telling you, you get the grandparents, your parents, this. As they see the grandkids a new picture every morning, they will rush to the aura frame to check out what they've got.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. You can show them the latest baby picture. Every morning they go into the office and oh, look, there's another picture. It's incredible. This is really a cool, cool gift. And once again, you go to auraframes.com. the code word is tom. I should point that out to get 35 bucks off that Carver format frame A U r a frames.com code word is Tom. Thank you very much for mentioning the Bob and Tom show when you check out. We're not going to check out. We're going to come right back. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Got a comment? To share, text us at 888-262-8661. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee at the News Center.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Bill Pat Godwin.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jess Hooker.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

Ace Cosby's here. Hey, I am Chick McGee.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Tom.

[Chick McGee]

What you doing over there, bud?

[Tom Griswold]

Just getting organized. Yes, Trying to get today in history for tomorrow ready for you.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, really?

[Chick McGee]

Is that right?

[Tom Griswold]

Debacle.

[Chick McGee]

Well, maybe we should do tomorrow in history today.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a great idea. I'm just saying that way people, people be ready.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I can tell you I got my calendar here.

[Josh Arnold]

When you have a daily calendar, it's bad luck to look at the day before.

[Christy Lee]

Go ahead.

[Tom Griswold]

It is not bad luck at all.

[Josh Arnold]

It's so much bad luck.

[Tom Griswold]

I'll just do one one item.

[Josh Arnold]

I can't listen to it.

[Tom Griswold]

I'll just give you hints then one.

[Chick McGee]

One item per page.

[Tom Griswold]

Imagine he's a television personality primarily talking to young folks. Chuck W. Wears a sweater. Kangaroo changes his shoes. Yeah, but you can't say who it is.

[Christy Lee]

Fred Rogers.

[Tom Griswold]

It's Fred Rogers. Mr. Rogers neighborhood premiered on tomorrow's date.

[Chick McGee]

67.

[Tom Griswold]

68. Very good.

[Christy Lee]

Wow.

[Josh Arnold]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

A great show. Did you see the movie with Tom Hanks?

[Josh Arnold]

I didn't. I saw the documentary, but I did not see the movie.

[Tom Griswold]

It's good. It's good.

[Chick McGee]

Is there the seamy underbelly of Mr. Rogers in the movie or not in the documentary?

[Josh Arnold]

That's kind of the whole point of the documentary was that he did not have to see me under guy. A great guy.

[Tom Griswold]

Great guy. Now it's time for us to check in with Christy Lee at the news. Have we missed anything?

[Christy Lee]

Man in H, Florida was arrested where? Hialeah, Florida.

[Tom Griswold]

Hialeah.

[Christy Lee]

Hialeah, Florida. Hialeah, Hialeah.

[Chick McGee]

Hiala hallela.

[Christy Lee]

He got stuck in a van that he was allegedly trying to steal.

[Chick McGee]

I'm stuck in the van.

[Christy Lee]

Home security footage captured the 26 year old pulling up in a car getting out, climbing into the back of a landscaping truck. WTVJ reports that when the owner of the van locked it to begin or. Yeah, locked in. Says locked it to. Looked into it before landscaping, the man started screaming for help. Responding officers freed the 26 year old and took him into custody. He was charged with burglary and criminal mischief. He told police he was handing out business cards when a dog chased him. He got scared and ran into the back of the truck.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a pretty good excuse. I'm not gonna buy it, but it's.

[Tom Griswold]

Not bad, but you gotta keep reading it. This really, really has a payo.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

The doorbell camera footage refuted his story. The homeowner explained that the landscaper refused to open the door until police arrived because, quote, there were machetes inside the truck and he could have used. He could have used. He could have just come out and hurt anybody. So they left him in there. Why would you have machete? Oh, landscape.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, sure.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, you gotta chop down in Florida.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Palm trees and stuff. Oh. Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So, Pat, can we. Can you do the song again?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, sure. About the cocaine.

[Tom Griswold]

Because Hialeah. We had Hialeah in the news earlier.

[Josh Arnold]

Boy, this is so sacrilegious.

[Tom Griswold]

I love this song.

[Christy Lee]

We started the show with it, end the show with it. I love it.

[Josh Arnold]

It was gospel songs, parody. Can't believe we're doing.

[Tom Griswold]

This.

[Pat Godwin]

Is I gotta do it?

[Tom Griswold]

Anyway, Pat does a lot of.

[Christy Lee]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Pat does a lot of comedy songs. This one is serious. It's about an incident involving a boat that tipped over and the cocaine floated onto the shores of Hialeah, Florida. The famous racetrack is right there.

[Chick McGee]

God, you're taking the setup to a whole new level.

[Pat Godwin]

Cocaine washed up on the shore in I. Selling it on the streets is a bad idea. If you find it, call the cops. A s a cocaine washed up on the shores in Hialeah I met a girl in Key west named Marie I'm.

[Chick McGee]

The only one, Marie.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm all alone with this song. I got gonorrhea, ate a Cuban sandwich and I got diarrhea. Cocaine washed up on the shore and highly. I'll sing this church on. I'll sing it at church on Sunday and.

[Chick McGee]

Hi.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm going to hell. It's Horiz.

[Josh Arnold]

That's at least a couple months in purgatory.

[Tom Griswold]

Right? Well, thank you very much, Pat. I appreciate you playing that for us.

[Josh Arnold]

Have you guys been to Hialeah? Sure.

[Christy Lee]

I have not.

[Josh Arnold]

Is it pretty nice?

[Chick McGee]

Really? I had a house there one night.

[Christy Lee]

Did you?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, you did? Oh, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Sounds like a beautiful place, doesn't It.

[Pat Godwin]

It's right next to me, right on.

[Christy Lee]

The Ocean Bay, whatever.

[Tom Griswold]

Suburban Miami, if you will.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, is that where it is? So it's south of Miami.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's what I said. I live out in the burbs. Oh, yeah, that's what I said.

[Christy Lee]

After the 2011 nuclear disaster at the Fukushima power plant.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that one.

[Christy Lee]

Residents were evacuated and some domestic pigs escaped from local farms.

[Chick McGee]

But they're just not right.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you, chick. Those pigs began breeding with native wild boar inside the AB abandoned evacuation zone.

[Chick McGee]

And now it's a super pig.

[Christy Lee]

With no new pigs introduced and very little human activity over the last 15 years, the region has effectively become a natural laboratory. The findings show that domestic pig genes dropped quickly across generations, more quickly than many scientists previously assumed. I don't know if they glow or not. It doesn't say that here.

[Chick McGee]

They have the capacity to speak.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, pig jeans. Can you get those at Lane Bryant?

[Pat Godwin]

What about mom jeans?

[Chick McGee]

I get more. I'd like more corn, please. What do pigs eat? Corn. What do you. Sloth.

[Josh Arnold]

They'll eat whatever you put in front of them.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember the movie where they eat the bodies?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

He's got to take the teeth out.

[Chick McGee]

Helps with the piggy's digestive system.

[Tom Griswold]

That is just scary, though. We were talking about Chernobyl and all the critters in there, they fence it off. But the wild boars. And I guess this is really interesting for scientists because they can find out how long it takes, as you mentioned, for the genes to cross over, for the pigs to go from being what we would consider to be the domesticated pigs to being these scary. Wild wild boars are creepy.

[Josh Arnold]

They are crazy, man.

[Tom Griswold]

Dangerous.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, they are dangerous.

[Chick McGee]

They dig up lawns and all sorts come out of the mountain.

[Josh Arnold]

And they're massive.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, those. They got those big spikes in their face.

[Christy Lee]

Tusks. Yeah, they're up.

[Chick McGee]

Like, they go up and ring people's doorbells and run into the dishes.

[Josh Arnold]

They're rascals.

[Tom Griswold]

And these radioactive ones you can get glow in the dark, bacon. Don't turn the lights on, Mom.

[Chick McGee]

I'm radioactive.

[Tom Griswold]

I love that song. These. These are the. You don't like that song? I'm ready. These are the Aurelioto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

This isn't your average podcast.

[Ali Breen]

Do you like party?

[Tom Griswold]

I do like a huge chug of tequila. The howler head whiskey bottle chug in front of Dana White.

[Ali Breen]

That was the first time we ever went to la.

[Tom Griswold]

We somehow got into a biddy party. What's the Elon Musk House party look like? My party generally have very high production value.

[Announcer]

This is Full Send.

[Tom Griswold]

I do want to do a lot more pranks.

[Ali Breen]

Bunch of different pranks.

[Tom Griswold]

Join the party.

[Chick McGee]

Jack Doherty in the house. Feeling good, man.

[Tom Griswold]

What are we going to talk about with Will Smith?

[Chick McGee]

I know what you're going to say.

[Tom Griswold]

Shout out to feel Vaughn.

[Josh Arnold]

It's been entertaining, dude.

[Announcer]

The Full Send podcast.

[Chick McGee]

Grab the boys, grab the beers.

[Josh Arnold]

Let's do it.

[Announcer]

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