The BOB & TOM Show - February 21, 2025

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast – February 21, 2025

Hosted by The BOB & TOM Show team at the Riverside Casino and Golf Resort, Iowa

---

1. Introduction and Host Banter (00:45 - 03:40)

The show opens with the lively introduction of the BOB & TOM hosts—Tom Griswold, Christy Lee, Pat Godwin, Josh Arnold, Al Jackson, Chick McGee, and Jeff Oskay. Tom Griswold warmly welcomes the Iowa audience, setting an energetic tone for the morning.

Tom Griswold [00:45]:
"It's the Bob and Tom Show. Hello, Iowa. That's Tom Griswold. That's Christy Lee. That's Josh Arnold. I don't know who that is. That's Pat Godwin. There's Al Jackson. We have the Bob and Tom Show. Hi."

Pat Godwin arrives with a humorous reprimand, teasing the team about not engaging in more profitable or exciting activities like gambling or paying rent.

Pat Godwin [01:32]:
"You could be out there gambling. You could be paying rent right now."

2. Pat Godwin’s Injury Anecdote (03:40 - 08:00)

Pat shares a comical story about injuring himself at Home Depot while attempting to lift a heavy bag of ice melt, leading to an exaggerated groin injury. His reluctance to accept help from a young man adds to the humor.

Pat Godwin [01:55]:
"I injured myself at Home Depot that in. I really was unsure if I was going to make the show and I was going to be like, that's the oldest man excuse to not be able to do radio is I hurt myself picking up a bag of ice melt."

The hosts engage in playful banter about similar injuries, with Pat joking about his recent hernia surgery and the physical limitations it imposed.

Pat Godwin [03:39]:
"I had a hernia surgery a few weeks ago and I was not allowed to lift anything more than £10."

3. Travel Anecdotes and Roadside Sign Frustrations (08:00 - 15:00)

Tom and Pat recount their road trip to Iowa, highlighting various mishaps and humorous observations. A significant topic emerges: misleading roadside signs advertising amenities like McDonald's and Starbucks with inaccurate distance indicators, causing drivers to make unnecessary detours.

Pat Godwin [05:30]:
"There's a sign on the side of the road. It'll say, whatever. McDonald's Starbucks burger. And you get off 15 miles to the left. You get off at the exit, and you're looking around, and it's not there."

Al Jackson expresses strong opinions about these deceptive signage practices, calling them false advertising and lamenting the wasted time and resources for travelers.

Al Jackson [06:03]:
"It's false advertising. Because once you get off, especially once you fix your mind, like, I'm going to McDonald's. So now your body is in that mode."

The hosts humorously discuss the frustrations of navigating such misled signage, intertwining personal anecdotes with satire.

4. Sponsored Segment: BetterHelp Advertisement (15:04 - 16:17)

Pat introduces an advertisement for BetterHelp, emphasizing the ease and convenience of accessing online therapy. The detailed segment explains how listeners can sign up, be matched with therapists, and utilize various communication methods like video calls, phone calls, or texting.

Pat Godwin [15:14]:
"Find out what's going on. Work on yourself. Betterhelp.com btshow the betterhelp part..."

5. Sports News and Live Show Promotions (16:17 - 20:00)

Chick McGee delivers a sports update, highlighting Canada’s overtime victory over the United States in the Four Nations tournament, with a focus on Connor McDavid’s stellar performance.

Tom Griswold [16:17]:
"Connor McDavid of the Oilers, the most dominant offensive player in the NHL."

The segment transitions into promoting upcoming live shows at the Riverside Casino, encouraging listeners to attend and participate in the events.

6. Comedy Segment: Rape Talk and Risqué Humor (20:00 - 35:00)

The hosts delve into a comedic yet edgy segment discussing the riskiest and most dangerous sexual positions, inspired by a 1958 McCall’s magazine article titled “129 Ways to Get a Husband.” This segment blends humor with innuendo, leading to laughter and playful disapproval among the hosts.

Pat Godwin [14:07]:
"This is ladies how to get a husband in 1940. A big deal out of being raped."

The conversation continues with exaggerated jokes about the physical strains and potential injuries related to these positions, maintaining the show's humorous and irreverent style.

Josh Arnold [31:04]:
"Reverse cowgirl time. On a stair."

7. Sponsored Segment: Factor Meals Advertisement (35:00 - 18:18)

Chick McGee introduces Factor Meals, promoting their chef-made, dietitian-approved gourmet options. He describes the variety of meals tailored to different dietary preferences, emphasizing convenience for busy lifestyles.

Chick McGee [18:13]:
"Factor arrives fresh and fully prepared, perfect for any active, busy lifestyle."

Listeners are encouraged to visit the website and use a special code for discounts, seamlessly integrating the promotional message with the show's comedic flow.

8. Skits and Superhero Segment: 'Shirtless Girl' (40:00 - 75:00)

A series of comedic skits introduces the fictional superhero 'Shirtless Girl,' who boasts absurd powers and engages in exaggerated heroic acts. The hosts portray the superhero and interact with the live audience, blending satire with their humorous take on pop culture.

Tom Griswold [24:03]:
"This brings up an interesting topic. He. He. We currently trying to get him to stop going to see movies because without exception, he hates every movie ever made I could see."

These skits serve as comedic interludes, allowing the hosts to showcase their improvisational skills and engage the audience with lighthearted, over-the-top narratives.

9. 1958 McCall’s Magazine: "129 Ways to Get a Husband" Discussion (70:00 - 80:00)

Pat Godwin reads excerpts from the 1958 McCall’s magazine article, presenting outdated and humorous tips on how women could find a husband. The hosts humorously critique and mock the antiquated advice, contrasting it with modern dating practices.

Pat Godwin [73:35]:
"Ladies, don't be afraid to associate with more attractive girls. They may have left them overs."

Pat Godwin [75:25]:
"Ladies, stand in a corner and cry softly."

The segment is rich with historical context and satirical commentary, adding depth to the show’s humor by referencing past societal norms and expectations.

10. Recent News Stories and Comedy Interactions (80:00 - 150:00)

The hosts transition to various recent news stories, including a 120-year-old police docket from Casper, Wyoming, revealing early 20th-century arrests, and a story about professional mermaids facing harassment at aquariums. These segments are infused with the hosts' signature humor, providing comedic interpretations and engaging in witty discussions around the news.

Chick McGee [85:05]:
"A woman attacking a man with a garden hoe. We have beer down by river ho skank."

They also incorporate jokes and interactions around contemporary issues, maintaining a balance between topical content and comedic relief.

11. Conclusion and Farewell (150:00 - End)

The episode wraps up with final bits of humor, promotions for upcoming events, and another sponsored ad for BetterHelp. The hosts exchange playful banter, express gratitude to the live audience, and tease future content, ensuring listeners leave entertained and looking forward to upcoming episodes.

Mark [Last Segment]:
"Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom Show this morning. Catch any part of the show you missed later today on our YouTube channel."

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. Pat Godwin on Ice Melt Incident [01:55]:
   "I injured myself at Home Depot that in. I really was unsure if I was going to make the show..."

2. Pat Godwin on Misleading Road Signs [05:30]:
   "There's a sign on the side of the road. It'll say, whatever. McDonald's Starbucks burger..."

3. Josh Arnold on Reverse Cowgirl [31:04]:
   "Reverse cowgirl time. On a stair."

4. Pat Godwin on 1958 Dating Tips [73:35]:
   "Ladies, don't be afraid to associate with more attractive girls. They may have left them overs."

5. Pat Godwin Introducing BetterHelp [15:04]:
   "Find out what's going on. Work on yourself. Betterhelp.com btshow..."

Summary

The February 21, 2025, episode of The BOB & TOM Show exemplifies the show's hallmark blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and topical discussions. From comical injury stories and frustrating road trip experiences to edgy jokes about dangerous sexual positions and retro dating advice, the hosts maintain an engaging and entertaining atmosphere throughout the broadcast. Sponsored segments for BetterHelp and Factor Meals are seamlessly integrated, ensuring commercial messages complement the comedic flow without disrupting the listener experience. Interactive skits, particularly the 'Shirtless Girl' superhero narrative, add a dynamic and improvisational element, enhancing the show's lively nature. Additionally, the discussion of the 1958 McCall’s magazine article provides historical context, allowing the hosts to satirize past societal norms while connecting with modern audiences. The episode concludes with heartfelt interactions and promotional teasers, leaving listeners amused and eagerly anticipating future content.

Transcript

[Christy Lee]

This is a message from sponsor Intuit.

[Chick McGee]

TurboTax Taxes was getting frustrated by your forms. Now Taxes is uploading your forms with a snap. And a TurboTax expert will do your taxes for you. One who's backed by the latest tech which cross checks millions of data points for absolute accuracy. All of which makes it easy for you to get the most money back, guaranteed. Get an expert [e-mail] only available with TurboTax Live full service. Seek guaranteed [e-mail] guarantees.

[Tom Griswold]

It's the Bob and Tom Show. Hello, Iowa. That's Tom Griswold. That's Christy Lee. That's Josh Arnold. I don't know who that is. That's Pat Godwin. There's Al Jackson. We have the Bob and Tom Show. Hi.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey. Oh, wait a minute. How's it going? Hey. Hi. Hi, everybody. What are you doing in here? You could be out there gambling. You could be paying rent right now. Well, hello, everybody. Have you met everyone? Did I cheek you? Did some introductions there?

[Tom Griswold]

I think so.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay, good. Well, we are in Iowa and glad to be here.

[Tom Griswold]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up on that.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, okay. Did you have a rough time yesterday?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I'm not used to being, you know, the daughter in the first class flying and she works for the airline and I didn't do that yesterday for the first time in a while. I still don't know why, but here I am.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, it's good to see you.

[Tom Griswold]

How you doing, buddy? You all right?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you see who's here?

[Pat Godwin]

I see Al Jackson is here.

[Al Jackson]

I have been missing you guys. I am so happy to be. I. I guess I'll talk about it later in the show, but I injured myself at Home Depot that in. I really was unsure if I was going to make the show and I was going to be like, that's the oldest man excuse to not be able to do radio is I hurt myself picking up a bag of ice melt. So we will get to that.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, now, wait a minute. How big a bag was it, though?

[Al Jackson]

It was a big bag because I was like, I'm not going to cvs. This is a serious bag. And I already got dinged by the city for not, you know, taking care of my sidewalk, which I have some disputes with. And, yeah, I picked the bag up after this young man walked me over there and I think that my groin fell off. It hurt so bad. And I had too much pride to tell him I was hurt. So I just stood next to the bag and he wanted, he's like, do you need help? And I was like, no. And I just stood there and he was like, do you need another bag? I was like, I'm good. And he. He didn't walk away and I just stood next to the ice melt until it was so uncomfortable. He was like, well, if you need anything else. I was like, I just wanted to make sure you had your ice melt. That's all I'm going to do here. And I am. I made it. I didn't get the ice melt, so I'm probably going to get dinged by the city. I couldn't pick the bag up. I'm so hurt right now, but we're going to have a good time.

[Pat Godwin]

I know the feeling.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

I had a hernia surgery a few weeks ago and I was not allowed to lift anything more than £10.

[Tom Griswold]

It looked like he had a boner right around his navel. It was the weirdest thing.

[Josh Arnold]

OK. Couldn't lift anything over 10 pounds.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Pat Godwin]

So going to the bathroom is really tough.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I would imagine. Yeah. You and that giant hawk. Shut up about.

[Pat Godwin]

Do you have. Do you have. Think you got a hernia?

[Al Jackson]

I think that's probably what this is.

[Pat Godwin]

What it looks like. It looks like suddenly you've got a banana just below your navl going across. That's what. That's what that hernia looked like.

[Tom Griswold]

Going horizontal.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Like half of a tennis ball, but kind of elongated.

[Josh Arnold]

I can do that banana thing, but with some duct tape.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, everyone drive safe. Have a good time on the road.

[Chick McGee]

How was your adventure?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that's what we need to get to, thank you, Christy, is that Tom and Pat rode in one car and that had to be really something that.

[Chick McGee]

You want to take that.

[Tom Griswold]

Pat, how many stops did you make? The over under was 11 the first hour, about seven.

[Pat Godwin]

We stopped four times exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

Tell, tell us, Pat, what Tom said to you. A couple hours, no, three hours after you, we got off the air, ready to head to Iowa. What did Tom say? Before he could go get in the car? He was doing his emails.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yes, he said that. I said, tom, the way to get to a place is actually get in the car and drive. I'm doing some emails. He goes, I'll go home, take a shower, pack and I'll meet you at your place.

[Tom Griswold]

Go home, take a shower and pack.

[Jeff Oskay]

So we had a late start, but Tom's a fast driver now and he's a safe driver, but he has to pee a lot because he loves ice tea. About seven or eight in Two. Two hours.

[Tom Griswold]

Unbelievable.

[Al Jackson]

I think the bigger question for me is, where do you stop? Are you guys.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, here we go.

[Al Jackson]

He's very hotel.

[Tom Griswold]

He's particular. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. There's a. I do have an issue. I think we all know this. You're driving along the highway. You're not familiar with the area, and you see a sign on the side of the road. It'll say, whatever. McDonald's Starbucks burger. And you get off 15 miles to the left. You get off at the exit, and you're looking around, and it's not there. You got to go far. So that bothers me. There should be some kind of state or federal law. They can't put a sign up. It should have to say the distance.

[Al Jackson]

It's false advertising. Because once you get off, especially once you fix your mind, like, I'm going to McDonald's. So now your body is in that mode.

[Chick McGee]

Sure.

[Al Jackson]

And you get off, and it's like, got a four next to it. You're like, four miles one way for McDonald's. Now I'm gonna go to this town I don't want to go to, but I'm definitely going now. And so I definitely. Tom, I want you to run in 20, 28. We need that, because that's. That's lying to the American people.

[Pat Godwin]

Thing is, you know, it's like the launch codes have already been established and the keys have been turned. Your bowels are going, okay, okay, we got it.

[Chick McGee]

We have gas.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay. So I'm just saying.

[Tom Griswold]

Didn't have to use.

[Pat Godwin]

As a general rule, I go to either a McDonald's or a Starbucks or something. Establishment rather than a gas station I've never heard about.

[Chick McGee]

And you never heard of a place called Casey's, is that correct?

[Jeff Oskay]

We pulled into a case. He goes, casey's. What is this all about?

[Pat Godwin]

Judging ass. Judging by the aroma, I apparently followed Bigfoot into the toilet.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Then he goes, did you see that guy? I think he's Bigfoot. And all those tattoos.

[Pat Godwin]

It was more of an odor issue. Bigfoot stinks famously.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, he does. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

They say that. They say that bears smell so bad. You know? You know this Josh?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, you guys know I'm a renowned bear hunter.

[Chick McGee]

Why would Josh.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, it was a double major. It was bears and bad odors.

[Pat Godwin]

Right, Right. Hunters know, bears really, really stink in the wild. And Josh is. When he's out there looking for Bigfoot, you get. You get a whip.

[Angie Burnett]

Is that.

[Pat Godwin]

Is that a bear or just a bear? I almost ran out of gas. I forgot about gasoline.

[Jeff Oskay]

That Is true.

[Josh Arnold]

Forgot about gasoline.

[Tom Griswold]

Forgot about it.

[Chick McGee]

That's important.

[Tom Griswold]

Thought he was driving a hybrid.

[Jeff Oskay]

Evidently, we got to talk him.

[Al Jackson]

How is that possible?

[Pat Godwin]

It's real simple. I just suddenly looked down and we had that thing on that tells you. That tells you how far you have to go.

[Tom Griswold]

Now we kind of have the same car, but yours is, of course, a model or two up.

[Jeff Oskay]

Tom went 46 miles.

[Pat Godwin]

He can make it. It was. No, it said that we were.

[Tom Griswold]

There are all kinds of bells and whistles that go off.

[Pat Godwin]

It says I had 31 miles left of gas.

[Tom Griswold]

All right.

[Pat Godwin]

And then I looked at the other thing and it said the casino was 21 miles away. So I figured if this thing is slightly off, I'm going to be in a cornfield calling you guys, asking for gas. But we did find. We did find a gas station that. Some very low octane gas. So I expect my car to be knocking for the first time. I only put enough to get here.

[Tom Griswold]

You always put the high octane in.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yeah. You got it.

[Josh Arnold]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Is that right?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yeah.

[Al Jackson]

You have to.

[Jeff Oskay]

I thought no one did.

[Chick McGee]

No, you don't.

[Jeff Oskay]

No, no.

[Al Jackson]

Is that a scam?

[Jeff Oskay]

It has to be an absolute.

[Chick McGee]

My stepdad swore it was a scam.

[Pat Godwin]

Really? Anybody know anything about cars? You're supposed to put high test in, right?

[Tom Griswold]

High test.

[Chick McGee]

High test.

[Tom Griswold]

Does Anyone here under 70 know what the term is there anyone here under 70?

[Pat Godwin]

High test just sounds, you know, elite and something that I should have.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, it's just like when I see 93 or 91, I'm like, this is what my car wants. Like, you can feel your car going. Come on, give me the good stuff. It's like Tevis Regal for your car.

[Pat Godwin]

Sure. Absolutely.

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Pat Godwin]

So, yeah, I just forgot to put gas in it. But we're okay. We'll make. We made it.

[Tom Griswold]

I wish you would have run out of gas if somebody picked you up and raped you on the phone.

[Al Jackson]

You know that.

[Josh Arnold]

That does sound harsh.

[Pat Godwin]

But I. I do agree with him and by.

[Jeff Oskay]

Because I'm tired of having.

[Tom Griswold]

Pause. How many people agree with me because.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'm tired of having to do it.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, first of all, if that'd be quite a story.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, wait a minute. Did it get amorous in the car?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, we cuddled a bit. It was cold. I think he made it cold on purpose.

[Pat Godwin]

I think it would be if you're going to rape somebody in the side of the road.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

When it's this cold.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

You really want it.

[Josh Arnold]

You know.

[Jeff Oskay]

Sorry, folks.

[Al Jackson]

That's what you get with a public defender attorney. Like, look, I know it was illegal, but he really wanted it.

[Josh Arnold]

Right?

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Al Jackson]

It was really. I mean.

[Josh Arnold]

Your Honor, do you know how cold it was out there? It is kind of like when you see smokers outside. When it's three below, you go, boy, that guy's hooked.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, he needs.

[Tom Griswold]

He needs it. Just like having to rape somebody.

[Josh Arnold]

Right, right, right. Well, that's a lot of use of that word.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It really hits some here wrong.

[Josh Arnold]

It's very upsetting.

[Jeff Oskay]

Tom had never seen Peoria before. It was like, o. Peoria.

[Tom Griswold]

We came in on 74.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Whatever the hell. Yeah. And there's that. That skyline. Peoria. And.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, very nice.

[Chick McGee]

He's like, oh, my goodness, you've never been to Peoria.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's the Mark Twain Motel.

[Pat Godwin]

I saw the Mark Twain.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's exactly what I pointed out. What river would this be here that we're on?

[Josh Arnold]

It's a dummy. The Peoria River.

[Pat Godwin]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

So tired of being the smartest one up here.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I told him it was big money. The old.

[Josh Arnold]

Miss the old man.

[Tom Griswold]

The old man.

[Pat Godwin]

Is that. Is that what it's called? Really?

[Tom Griswold]

No. Mississippi's where we do. We did go over the Mississippi, but I forget where it was.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah. I'm curious to know, Tom. What was the last city that you went to and you had fun in?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, I was just in Vail a couple of weeks ago.

[Tom Griswold]

This brings up an interesting topic. He. He. We currently trying to get him to stop going to see movies because without exception, he hates every movie ever made I could see.

[Al Jackson]

I think Tom is one of those people that would go to a movie just to see what he didn't like.

[Tom Griswold]

And not only that, if a big blockbuster comes and it's a flop, I.

[Pat Godwin]

Love that it fails.

[Tom Griswold]

He is over the moon for like two or three weeks and will continually mention it off the air, even.

[Al Jackson]

What was the last movie you begrudgingly liked like?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, no, I. I enjoyed. What was the Bob Dylan movie?

[Jeff Oskay]

Complete Unknown.

[Pat Godwin]

That was very nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, and you like the Paul Giamatti movies?

[Pat Godwin]

Love that one.

[Jeff Oskay]

Sideways Holdovers Inside.

[Pat Godwin]

This weekend. I'm going to go squeeze in if I can. This weekend. Paddington 3.

[Al Jackson]

Is that about the bear?

[Chick McGee]

Yes. He loves that dance.

[Pat Godwin]

Are you serious? Paddington 2 should have won the Academy Award. Did you see it?

[Al Jackson]

No.

[Pat Godwin]

Hugh Grant. Anybody see Paddington 2? It's marvelous.

[Josh Arnold]

I hope while you're watching Paddington 3, you get raped.

[Tom Griswold]

You go up to get popcorn.

[Chick McGee]

I think buy a bear.

[Tom Griswold]

We got the fresh popcorn in the back. Come on back here. And then he just gives it to.

[Pat Godwin]

As Christy points out, the raping by the bear scene. That was stolen.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

From that other movie, the Revenant.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Why isn't someone put Paddington's head on that bear that rapes Dick Caprio? That would be great. Right?

[Chick McGee]

Wow. We're off.

[Pat Godwin]

Anybody want to go back to bed?

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay. We have a nice crowd. Here we are at the Riverside Casino.

[Tom Griswold]

I can't get over again how many people are here for this dumb thing. Thank you very much, my people.

[Al Jackson]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Coming up, we have Batman, the TV show. In the news, we have mermaid news.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh. Oh, they're real.

[Pat Godwin]

This is a really cool story. Ever been to one of those places where they have the big gigantic aquarium and the. And the mermaids are down in there?

[Tom Griswold]

Do you mean like a whorehouse?

[Pat Godwin]

No.

[Chick McGee]

You know, there's one in Florida.

[Tom Griswold]

What's it, Lake Witchy Watchy.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

You've seen that, right? They've got the mermaids.

[Tom Griswold]

Witchy. Witchy.

[Pat Godwin]

They interview one of these ladies.

[Tom Griswold]

They're cunnilingus. Crew Creek, something like that.

[Pat Godwin]

We have. We have the police docket from Casper, Wyoming, Roxanne, 120 years ago.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, we do.

[Pat Godwin]

Which is very. Which is exciting. We've got NASA news. We have nudity problems. And my favorite thing we have this morning is from 1958.

[Chick McGee]

Of course it is.

[Josh Arnold]

This tracks here.

[Tom Griswold]

Eisenhower is stepping down.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, it's 129 ways to get a husband. Oh, this is.

[Tom Griswold]

Tell me we're not going through every one.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, it's worth it. I'll give you one example.

[Al Jackson]

Give us one.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, sure.

[Josh Arnold]

No gag reflex.

[Pat Godwin]

Here we go. This is number 17.

[Tom Griswold]

It's very important.

[Pat Godwin]

This is ladies how to get a husband in 1940.

[Tom Griswold]

A big deal out of being raped.

[Chick McGee]

God, you guys, what this is. We're gonna come back and be a different show.

[Tom Griswold]

Here's just or no show.

[Pat Godwin]

Here's one of them, right? One of them is be friendly to ugly men.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, that's a great idea. Actually. Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

This is the way to.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Talk to his father about business and agree that his taxes are too high. Wait a second. I agree with that.

[Al Jackson]

These aren't wrong.

[Pat Godwin]

If he's rich, tell him you like his money. Your honesty will intrigue him.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's the ACDC money talks philosophy.

[Pat Godwin]

You think so?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah. Love me for the money, baby. Yes. You think I care?

[Pat Godwin]

On keeping with our positive theme. Here's one. Point out to him that the death rate of single men is twice that of Married men.

[Chick McGee]

That is true.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's good.

[Al Jackson]

Hot talk. It's death rate.

[Pat Godwin]

Put the fear of God in him. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I thought single women with no kids live longer too. Did I read that?

[Chick McGee]

Maybe.

[Tom Griswold]

I think so.

[Jeff Oskay]

Everybody would know.

[Tom Griswold]

Kids live longer.

[Pat Godwin]

You know why? Because they want to.

[Tom Griswold]

They're happy.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay. Right now, the Bob and Tom show is brought to you by BetterHelp. If you've been thinking about worrying about yourself and getting your head together, BetterHelp is a really interesting way to access therapy. And therapy can be a very good thing. But maybe you're a little nervous about going across town and sitting in an office with some guy or some lady and it's just a little awkward. Well, this takes the awkwardness out of it because it's done online. You go online, you fill out a questionnaire and you'll be hooked up with one of some 30,000 plus therapists. You can switch therapists, by the way, anytime. No additional fee. Then the therapy itself is done online. It's like a zoom call.

[Tom Griswold]

Al.

[Pat Godwin]

So your therapist is on the tv or you can just do it on the phone. You could even text back and forth. Although with my problems, I couldn't type that fast. The larger point here is you're accessing therapy in a more elegant way. So check that out. Find out what's going on. Work on yourself. Betterhelp.com btshow the btshow part. Well, knock 10 off your first month. That's better. Help. H E L P betterhelp.com btshow the supportion of the Bob and Tom show brought to you by BetterHelp. I know we have some sporting news. We're all gonna have to stand up and sing. Oh, Canada, I understand.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, Canada won the four nations thing last night in overtime. What was it? Four? Three, Something like that.

[Chick McGee]

Well, you're the sports director.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, sports director. Thanks, Christine. And you're the news director.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I know he does it.

[Tom Griswold]

And Tom can be on the radio, right? None of us know.

[Pat Godwin]

No, I can't be on the radio because I can't think and talk at the same time.

[Tom Griswold]

There it is.

[Pat Godwin]

We do have a special T shirt that we're selling here. And we're giving all the money to the Stead family Hospital, which is a cool thing. So buy a T shirt for yourself or somebody else. We also have them. I guess they're online, right? You can buy them online.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Bob and Tom.com and.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay, I really should know this, but I don't. But yeah, that's a cool thing. I can't believe this great crowd. Thank you so much for coming, and I promise.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, and coming up, we finished our.

[Pat Godwin]

First segment known as Rape Talk. That's over now.

[Tom Griswold]

And coming up, Paddington's getting blackmailed. That's a real story. I just sent it to Christy, so there you go.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay. It's all cool. Well, thank you very much. This is our, I guess, officially the O'Reilly Auto Parts Mobile studio. And this is the Bob and Tom Show. Ready to optimize your nutrition. This year, Factor has chef made gourmet meals that make eating well easy. They're dietitian approved and ready to heat and eat in two minutes. So you can fuel right and feel great no matter what life throws at you.

[Chick McGee]

Factor arrives fresh and fully prepared, perfect for any active, busy lifestyle. You could lose up to eight pounds in eight weeks with Factor Keto meals. Based on a randomized controlled clinical trial with Factor Keto. Results will vary depending on diet and exercise.

[Pat Godwin]

With 40 options across eight dietary preferences on the menu each week, it's easy to pick meals tailored to your goals. Choose from preferences like Calorie Smart, Protein plus, or Keto Factor can help you feel your best all day long with wholesome smoothies, breakfasts, grab and go snacks and more add ons.

[Chick McGee]

Reach your goals this year with ingredients you can trust and convenience that can't be beat.

[Pat Godwin]

Eat smart with Factor. Get [e-mail] Factor podcast and use the Code Factor podcast to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. That's Code factor [e-mail] factor podcast to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, good morning. Welcome back to the Math and Chop Show.

[Pat Godwin]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

We are in Riverside, Iowa at the Casino and Tiki Bar. Very exciting.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah, they have nice drinks over there.

[Tom Griswold]

That's me jamming.

[Pat Godwin]

We got our special dj, comedian Al Jackson. Ladies and gentlemen, we are on the big stage at the Riverside Casino. What a great place this is. Anybody have a chance to do any gambling yet?

[Chick McGee]

I did.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, Christy Lee, you hit the grabs table, didn't you?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

How'd it go?

[Chick McGee]

Three and out.

[Tom Griswold]

Three and out.

[Jeff Oskay]

How much you down, baby?

[Chick McGee]

$65.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, my.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'll loan you some money.

[Chick McGee]

Thanks.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, we get now your chicken. Turn that into 700 in 15 minutes.

[Tom Griswold]

Really take what you lost? What was it, 60?

[Chick McGee]

65? Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

65. Double that?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And bet it all and you win. You're right back in the money.

[Chick McGee]

I could go to the roulette. Do they have a roulette I didn't see a roulette, but I think they do okay. Yeah, yeah. Five dollar minimum on a crab stable. I was so excited.

[Tom Griswold]

I love that.

[Chick McGee]

I haven' that in years. But the best wasn't with me.

[Pat Godwin]

Al, what is this pulsating beat that I hear?

[Al Jackson]

This is called the King is Returned. And I wanted to ask everybody. I need a lucky number for roulette. I usually go with black. 22.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, that's.

[Chick McGee]

That's the number.

[Pat Godwin]

All right. I don't know. That black thing isn't working.

[Al Jackson]

You know, it's. We're coming. We're making a comeback. Tom, don't sleep 14.

[Jeff Oskay]

James Bond 14.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Tom, don't sleep on black.

[Pat Godwin]

I've got a great joke I could do. Okay, Al, take a seat. We gotta talk to you. All right, now. I gotta. I have a.

[Josh Arnold]

That's the nicest way I've ever heard somebody say Stop.

[Jeff Oskay]

Stop playing.

[Tom Griswold]

Turn that damn stuff down. Damn kids.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm still here in the tunes.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Does it fade out on its own or.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, Al has his.

[Jeff Oskay]

Have you done this before?

[Josh Arnold]

This was ill conceived.

[Pat Godwin]

No, Al, that is that known as your rig. Your. Your setup. Is that the. The.

[Al Jackson]

This is. This is my I tore my groin off rig. I have the big DJ and I couldn't carry it. Clearly I couldn't carry a bag of de icer. So there was no way I was bringing a DJ set. So we brought the mini.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay, but so. And Al's going to be our DJ today for the so called interstitial music. Interstitial sounds quite similar to interracial. So there's an awkwardness about saying that word.

[Josh Arnold]

Only when you do that is there any awkwardness.

[Tom Griswold]

You just really make it harder and harder for me to tell people I know you.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, we're glad to be here. We certainly are having fun.

[Al Jackson]

Now I'm just thinking about interracial porn and how many people are going to be looking for interstitial porn Air.

[Pat Godwin]

No, this is interest. Interstitial porn.

[Jeff Oskay]

He has a tag.

[Pat Godwin]

Would be like if on Netflix between shows. There was a brief pornographic movie.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, now remember, Al is a fan of ladies playful wrestling.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah. Well, it starts off playful, gets real mean. Yeah. Look, in life, they're winners and they're losers and. Yeah, that's. That was definitely a phase for me.

[Tom Griswold]

All right.

[Al Jackson]

I feel like I always gravitate. I just like ladies. So it always kind of comes back to just two ladies hanging out on a Friday night.

[Tom Griswold]

I love ladies.

[Pat Godwin]

Now, see, Chick and I Share this. We're both one at a time, people.

[Tom Griswold]

I can't play zone.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't want to go one on one.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, yeah. Did you guys hear more than one in real life? Al, have you ever had a situation in which there was more than one?

[Tom Griswold]

He's not going to tell us. Because he has.

[Al Jackson]

Okay, yeah, absolutely.

[Josh Arnold]

See, I can no longer go back to one on one. I.

[Pat Godwin]

It's.

[Josh Arnold]

I've gone so far.

[Chick McGee]

You got to have a crowd.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, y'all. Yeah. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Now, is it okay if one of the others is a boy?

[Al Jackson]

Hopefully a man over 18?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, I thought.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Al, Tom didn't mean to say boy.

[Josh Arnold]

But he did.

[Al Jackson]

That would have been better than the Catch a Predator boy.

[Pat Godwin]

So now we've got interstitial, interracial. This is really getting awkward. No, see, so you've actually been in a situation.

[Al Jackson]

He keeps calling it a situation. Like I got stuck on the elevator. No, we planned to be there. All of us.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. It's not a situation. The word is. Raddest thing ever.

[Tom Griswold]

Next to Christmas, greatest night of your.

[Jeff Oskay]

Life comes to mind.

[Tom Griswold]

The best thing.

[Al Jackson]

No.

[Pat Godwin]

Then you got more people talking and you got to try to listen twice.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you guys imagine hard enough for.

[Pat Godwin]

Me to fake listening to one person.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you imagine Tom in a three way?

[Chick McGee]

I can't imagine him in a one way.

[Josh Arnold]

No. Yeah. That is difficult.

[Al Jackson]

Things should be discussed ahead of time. I will say that. I know there's movies where it just seems like things kind of happen. But you should know. Like what? Everybody.

[Pat Godwin]

Is there like an order of orifices?

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, like, you know, okay, you're A, you're B. This is C. Oh, wait a minute. That's actually B.

[Al Jackson]

There's. There's a pre game I've seen online.

[Tom Griswold]

That the people are talking about four holes. Like it's a big deal. Yeah. Where the yeah are like.

[Josh Arnold]

What do you mean?

[Tom Griswold]

The.

[Pat Godwin]

The.

[Tom Griswold]

The thirsty girls will say, yeah, I do all four. Yeah. What is the fourth hoe? I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, if you guys don't know, I'm not gonna tell you.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, that's kind of what they mean. If it's your ear and it fits. Yikes.

[Tom Griswold]

I just.

[Josh Arnold]

I discovered it. You can only. You kind of discover it accidentally. Like the entrance to Hogwarts train station.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. It's a four and a half. Those of you that have read the book. For those of you those. I love those books. So here we are in Iowa. We're up a couple adventures. My curtains won't Close.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, they will. You have a button.

[Jeff Oskay]

There's a whole.

[Tom Griswold]

There's something.

[Chick McGee]

There's. There's a magic switch. Automatically. Yes, the switch within the room.

[Josh Arnold]

I was. I was able to pull mine manually. I'm serious.

[Pat Godwin]

No, but. Yeah, but the manual stick thing. Mine isn't attached. So what I'm saying is, if you go out far enough in the parking lot. Free show this morning.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Because my shower. My shower is a glass wall. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

There's a curtain for that, too. And there's a little thing in the bathroom that you hit.

[Pat Godwin]

And so the free show is unnecessary.

[Chick McGee]

No, there's no free show.

[Al Jackson]

Wait, who's in your room for the show?

[Pat Godwin]

No, if you're in the parking lot, people in the park into my room.

[Josh Arnold]

And I wouldn't say it was free. I was in the parking lot, fanning.

[Tom Griswold]

Ones out, make it rang.

[Pat Godwin]

And I am an old man. I admit it. So I get in the shower and I have the lights off because I didn't want to have the free show.

[Josh Arnold]

You stepped on your balls.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you have. Again, you have a shower where you can see in the shower from all points of the room?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, yeah. But the cool thing is.

[Tom Griswold]

Did he just say that and I missed it?

[Pat Godwin]

Yes, but. So the shower turns out over here, and there's no curtain. And then you walk in this little room, and then the shower's down there.

[Tom Griswold]

You walk in this.

[Pat Godwin]

You walk into the shower. I mean, it's a big shower.

[Chick McGee]

It's a big shower.

[Josh Arnold]

It's great. I love those.

[Pat Godwin]

But I. I had. I'd forgotten to pre open the soap. And the soap is wrapped in this plastic thing. I couldn't get it to open.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, well, I have some spring you need.

[Pat Godwin]

You need.

[Tom Griswold]

I have a picture now of you standing in the shower, wet, naked, trying to open a bar of soap.

[Chick McGee]

So I had to get in the dark.

[Pat Godwin]

I had to get out, go to my dopp kit, get my fingernail clippers.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my God.

[Pat Godwin]

To clip the side of the plastic, to open the soap.

[Chick McGee]

It's a wonder you can get dressed.

[Jeff Oskay]

Try some asper cream or something.

[Tom Griswold]

I swear to you, I did the exact same thing and managed to get it open just with my hand.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Did you get the lights on?

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't have to. And I left my lights.

[Jeff Oskay]

You know, you can squeeze from the bottom and it'll just pop right out, too.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah. There's a lot of ways to get around. Well, this is opening up soap.

[Tom Griswold]

The old road dome.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

The shortcuts. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Alas, there look for the little switch that has the arrows up and down. Those are the ones that close and open dark.

[Pat Godwin]

Ergo, not possible. Now, let's get.

[Chick McGee]

Why didn't you turn the light on? Who's in there with you?

[Pat Godwin]

The parking lot. I was.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you have someone in your room? Well, this is awkward and exciting.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

No, no.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you meet some road mong? What's going on? What's going on?

[Pat Godwin]

You know me.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you knocking them out up there?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, just some rando. No, I. No, I was concerned about some of.

[Josh Arnold]

These silos and smokestacks.

[Jeff Oskay]

Aren't you glad I gave you a ride?

[Tom Griswold]

I love you, Tom. You're my fav.

[Pat Godwin]

Is that a term? A smokestack lot?

[Josh Arnold]

No, those silos.

[Tom Griswold]

Silos and smoke stacks.

[Josh Arnold]

It's an Iowa thing.

[Pat Godwin]

Keep up. I think we need to get a song out of Bad God.

[Tom Griswold]

Somebody better do something.

[Jeff Oskay]

What kind of song?

[Chick McGee]

People are going to share.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's hear it for Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. Well, coming up, Pat, we have a. A news story about injuries that occur during intimate moments.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

And now, Al, I know that obviously, when you do these tag team things, I'm sure possibility of getting a serious injury is there. Yeah, there actually are injuries that take place. We've got a little list of them. Do you want to do the story, Christy, and we'll go from there?

[Chick McGee]

I don't have it.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay, then we'll get to it. We'll get to it.

[Al Jackson]

I bet you slipping and falling in the shower is the number one section.

[Chick McGee]

Sure, I would think.

[Josh Arnold]

I. I think it's reverse cowgirl.

[Pat Godwin]

That's correct.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Reverse cow it is.

[Tom Griswold]

Reverse cows are always dangerous and always number one in danger. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

And always just the hottest.

[Jeff Oskay]

It's best. It is worth a wonderful view.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah. But if she's got tattoos on her back, then you're just like, when did she get that? You know, I just start going down this weird thing like a parrot that's like.

[Tom Griswold]

So you've got far enough to the ultimate have congress with this woman, and you don't know that she has tattoos on her back.

[Al Jackson]

You do, but you don't see them that close. Time to analyze them.

[Tom Griswold]

All right. Yeah, but do you remember her name at any point?

[Al Jackson]

Absolutely not. Unless it's under the right.

[Pat Godwin]

Amber. Amber. Thank you for putting your name above your anus. Now I can remember to shout it out.

[Tom Griswold]

You know what Drew Hastings always said? You know, sometimes my love lasts until they walk all the way to the elevator.

[Pat Godwin]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

But you're.

[Pat Godwin]

But you You. If you found. If there was an offensive tattoo, it wouldn't bother you mid coitus, I assume?

[Al Jackson]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

What. What. What would.

[Josh Arnold]

She could have a David Duke tattoo.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I was gonna.

[Pat Godwin]

That's, you know, something he made that's more subtle than the direction I was trying.

[Tom Griswold]

Much plan.

[Pat Godwin]

I couldn't think of David Duke.

[Jeff Oskay]

Could you take the robe off first?

[Pat Godwin]

I was going to go with LESTER Maddox being 1960s dated, but David Duke's more of what, a late 80s dated?

[Josh Arnold]

I think so.

[Tom Griswold]

David Duke's had a lot of plastic surgery if you know.

[Al Jackson]

Has he really.

[Jeff Oskay]

He looks like Patty Duke.

[Tom Griswold]

It's an odd angle. I look like Patty Duke. Here's back Godwin song.

[Josh Arnold]

The glow up there's his tribute to David Duke. Go ahead.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's hear from Pat Godwin, everybody.

[Jeff Oskay]

I don't. I don't. Do we have the story? I think we're waiting, actually, with. The story is coming.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay, we'll get to it then in a couple of minutes.

[Jeff Oskay]

Not my fault.

[Chick McGee]

We just did the story.

[Al Jackson]

I think you did bring up something really interesting. Is there anything that could honestly stop you in the act? Like, anything that you could. Tom here. Could you say anything where you were.

[Pat Godwin]

Like, oh, we had a story a couple weeks ago in. Remember this one in Florida where they were flagrant delicto. In front of the.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, they're in front of the Wendy's.

[Pat Godwin]

In front of a Wendy's. And the police description.

[Tom Griswold]

They were picking up a baked potato, if you know what I mean by the.

[Pat Godwin]

Judging by the police description, once he put the light on him, the guy kept going.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

So that's.

[Al Jackson]

That means she's really hot.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Actually, Tom saw a picture of her and. And said, yes, she is hot.

[Jeff Oskay]

So there are many. There are many, many accidents in the boudoir.

[Chick McGee]

And I do have the story. You'd like me to read it?

[Tom Griswold]

Sure.

[Chick McGee]

All right.

[Josh Arnold]

In the boudoir. What about other parts of the body?

[Tom Griswold]

Give a tour in the boudoir.

[Jeff Oskay]

The sweet boudoir.

[Al Jackson]

The fourth hole.

[Pat Godwin]

Sweet.

[Tom Griswold]

That's number four.

[Chick McGee]

Missionary. Reverse missionary. And apparently doggy style is also very dangerous.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you get carried away.

[Chick McGee]

Is that what happens in.

[Tom Griswold]

You get farther away or the.

[Pat Godwin]

You know, the. The team scores a goal, you start. You start cheering.

[Tom Griswold]

Josh, you should really stay close.

[Pat Godwin]

You get across the room and really into you. But it is the third period. I'm the hockey game.

[Chick McGee]

According to an article in Men's Health magazine, there are sex positions that are kind of risky. One included the eager chef.

[Tom Griswold]

The eager what chef?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, let me Google that.

[Tom Griswold]

The eager chef.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, I've heard of the butler. Have you heard the butler?

[Al Jackson]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

The guy is behind doggy and he puts his hand behind his back. Like he's going to be. Because. So the camera can see he puts his hand behind his back.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh. What?

[Al Jackson]

That's very nice.

[Tom Griswold]

That's called.

[Chick McGee]

Called light.

[Al Jackson]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

No, we're going to have to get.

[Tom Griswold]

You guys can do that later if you like.

[Pat Godwin]

We're going to have to get back to this because what's the eager chef?

[Tom Griswold]

Give her the butler.

[Chick McGee]

We'll get back to.

[Pat Godwin]

We'll get back to the story. Chick McGee is in. Going to tell you about something right now, am I?

[Chick McGee]

No. Christine Tell you about. Oh, we're going to. We're going to have a song from Pat when we come back.

[Al Jackson]

James reading something he's enjoying as he's scrolling through porn in front of hundreds of people.

[Chick McGee]

He's looking at the.

[Tom Griswold]

That is so.

[Jeff Oskay]

Josh, put your pants on.

[Tom Griswold]

Hang on. Thursday, what term are we looking up?

[Chick McGee]

Eager Chef.

[Tom Griswold]

The eager Chef. What do you got, Josh, this position.

[Josh Arnold]

Involves the girl on the top of a table or a desk and you penetrating her while standing mostly on your toes.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's an. What you do here?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Right. You go over. Oh, no, you got to get up on the table.

[Chick McGee]

Depending on the location and the heights of both partners. Balance. Sit down, and the balance can be lost and someone could fall tiptoes.

[Tom Griswold]

That explains eager.

[Pat Godwin]

Could we move on? We're four minutes late.

[Josh Arnold]

No, we're not.

[Chick McGee]

No, we're not. We're right on time.

[Tom Griswold]

What's wrong with Christy? What do you think?

[Josh Arnold]

You're 70 years behind?

[Pat Godwin]

71.

[Chick McGee]

How many of you would like to get out of Iowa and join me in England, Scotland and Wales?

[Tom Griswold]

I can't wait to do that.

[Chick McGee]

Kiss my ass.

[Tom Griswold]

I would. No. You're going to come visit me.

[Chick McGee]

I am. You're going to live in Chelsea by then.

[Tom Griswold]

Damn right, I would.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. We're going to travel to England, Scotland and Wales. We'll see cities like London and Edinburgh, and we'll experience the best of Britain's rolling countryside. Thanks to Colette. That's right. Iconic landmarks of London, storybook villages of Oxford, Chester, and Shakespeare's Stratford upon Avon. Hello, Avon. You want to do this?

[Jeff Oskay]

No.

[Chick McGee]

The best part. Colette makes travel very easy and includes flights, meals, hotels, sightseeing, and local experiences. Your only job to have the time of your life.

[Al Jackson]

I can do that.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you. Don't miss your chance to see great bits Britain. I can't even talk today.

[Jeff Oskay]

Great Britain.

[Chick McGee]

Great. Thank you, Pat. Great Britain with me. Call Colette at 800-581-8942 or visit bobandom.comtrip to learn more. That number again, 800-581-8942 or Visit bobandtom.comtrip Get your passports ready and join me. It's gonna be a great time. Thank you.

[Pat Godwin]

Thank you very much. Christy Lee, this is the beautiful O'Reilly Auto Parts Mobile studio at the Riverside Casino in Iowa. And this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Mark]

For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom show contest rules, go to bobandtom.com contest rules or just scroll down to the bottom of the page and see contest rules. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Al Jackson]

Get the Angel REEF special at McDonald's. Now, let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course.

[Pat Godwin]

And don't forget the fries and the drinks.

[Tom Griswold]

Sound good?

[Pat Godwin]

I participate in restaurants for a limited time.

[Chick McGee]

Hi.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi.

[Pat Godwin]

Hi.

[Al Jackson]

Hi.

[Tom Griswold]

Welcome back to the mom and Tom Show. We are in Riverside, Iowa, at the Riverside Casino.

[Pat Godwin]

Riverside Casino and Golf resort, thanks to 100.7 the fox. And we got a, a great crowd here. Good morning. Hello.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, good people.

[Pat Godwin]

The home of high test gasoline. Should I have gotten Ethel?

[Tom Griswold]

Ethel High Test. Yeah, that's another saying from the old days. Regular Ethel High Test. I think ethyl and high test were the same thing. I think.

[Pat Godwin]

And this is sexy music from our dj, comedian Al Jackson, ladies and gentlemen. And Al Jackson will be on stage with us tonight here at the Riverside Casino and Golf Resort. And then right then Saturday night, you're. Where are you going to be?

[Al Jackson]

The jukebox in Peoria.

[Pat Godwin]

Shout out the jukebox in Peoria. Legendary comedy club.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, sir.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, that'll be.

[Tom Griswold]

Sadly, the, the adult entertainment complex. Closed jukebox, but the dirt track's still.

[Jeff Oskay]

There, right across the street.

[Tom Griswold]

Yep.

[Chick McGee]

Not a lot of action this time of year.

[Tom Griswold]

Good club, lot of character.

[Chick McGee]

Not at, not at the dirt track.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, thanks very much. Let's see who's who here. Christy Lee is at the Mobile Silac Insurance news desk. We have Al Jackson joining us in the interview loft.

[Tom Griswold]

Action Jackson.

[Pat Godwin]

And Pat Godwin is here. Pat was going to play a song for us. We need to kind of talk about why we're doing this particular bit of music. Christy, what have you.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, we were talking about an article that lists some of the riskiest sex positions. We talked about the eager chef.

[Pat Godwin]

I saw the risk is probably. Is with someone else's wife.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that. That would be bad. There's the Swiss ball blitz. I don't know if you've heard of that one.

[Josh Arnold]

It's. It's a Swiss ball.

[Chick McGee]

Very good, gentlemen.

[Tom Griswold]

Ready? Steve.

[Pat Godwin]

Steve. Andy. Okay. All right. I'm into chicks here. I don't want to be.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's go.

[Chick McGee]

This involves an exercise ball and squats. You just. Yeah, it does figure out the rest. All right, there's the Stairway to Heaven. We've talked about this before.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Wait, what's that?

[Chick McGee]

The receiver in the driver's seat facing away. Except the giver is seated on stairs.

[Josh Arnold]

The giver sears.

[Tom Griswold]

Unless.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. It's reverse cowgirl. On the stairs.

[Chick McGee]

On the stairs.

[Tom Griswold]

Unless they're carpeted. Is uncomfortable.

[Pat Godwin]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

That hardwooded back.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I don't think that that's kind of where you want it.

[Pat Godwin]

You lost me here.

[Tom Griswold]

Full carpets on stairs anymore.

[Josh Arnold]

It's reverse cowgirl time. On a stair.

[Chick McGee]

On a staircase.

[Pat Godwin]

Why?

[Chick McGee]

Never done it on the stairs.

[Tom Griswold]

Still, you're on the stairs.

[Pat Godwin]

You don't have a bed.

[Al Jackson]

The stairs are like, the least sexy place to do it, I think.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. Especially. Especially if the kids room's up there.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Griswold]

Tom. Have you ever had sex without your pants around your ankles ever?

[Pat Godwin]

That's called Ivy League style.

[Tom Griswold]

I know it is.

[Pat Godwin]

In honor of my classical education.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. That you.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't want to brag, but I have done Stairway to Heaven.

[Chick McGee]

Have you?

[Tom Griswold]

All right.

[Josh Arnold]

The problem was it was on an escalator and we had to keep.

[Tom Griswold]

That would be a fly in the ordinary yelling at people.

[Al Jackson]

What are you looking at? You freaks go to the Gap.

[Chick McGee]

Would you like to serenade us, bats?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

These are sexual accidents that happen.

[Chick McGee]

Sure you can.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Hold on a second.

[Jeff Oskay]

Al's lover girl jumped on top. They went at it for what seemed like he rolled her over and heard a pop. His poor penis was dark and inflamed. He broke it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Looks like an eggplant. He broke it. Cracked penis. It's on fire. Situation dire. Bruised vagina. It's all blue. Maybe a two foreign objects. Heart attacks in the sack. That's what can happen. Reverse cowgirl. I'm an eager chef for you, baby. I'll eat up your buffet.

[Pat Godwin]

Thank you very much.

[Jeff Oskay]

Awkward opening. I apologize. I can't read.

[Chick McGee]

It's not just the reverse cowgirl. The cowgirl lean back is also very dangerous.

[Tom Griswold]

Whoa.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, the cowgirl leanback is pretty awesome.

[Chick McGee]

It can lead to hyperextension of the male member caused by too frequent or intensive downward pressure on the shaft.

[Al Jackson]

I know somebody that happened to.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, really?

[Al Jackson]

I really do. And it was a girl I liked, but we never hooked up. But then she got with a guy, and she told me years later that that happened, and he. They had to get, like, surgery, and it, like, mentally messed her up. But, yeah, like, I think with that, whenever you got the.

[Pat Godwin]

The guy was the one injured, though, right?

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, yeah. She came down wrong. And it was really.

[Tom Griswold]

Has anyone out there ever broken their penis?

[Pat Godwin]

Just the ladies. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I, I, I got to be painful. Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

I think.

[Pat Godwin]

What was the first one called? The Chef's Delight?

[Chick McGee]

The Eager Chef. The Eager Chef.

[Tom Griswold]

The Eager Chef. The butler.

[Pat Godwin]

I know who's. So who plays the chef in that one?

[Tom Griswold]

The guy.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Because he's up on tippy toes.

[Chick McGee]

The lady's on a bench.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Or a table. And he's on his tippy toes. And. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So.

[Pat Godwin]

And if it goes well, then, Christy, you'd say, my compliments to the chef.

[Chick McGee]

There you go. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much.

[Pat Godwin]

Thank you very much.

[Tom Griswold]

He thanks himself all the time.

[Pat Godwin]

Who does all this weird stuff.

[Al Jackson]

Doggy style.

[Josh Arnold]

Human beings.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, Tom. That sexual.

[Tom Griswold]

If there was ever a doubt that Tom is the person that you're hearing on the radio, there's your proof.

[Josh Arnold]

We haven't really talked about anything that that's.

[Al Jackson]

That.

[Chick McGee]

No, I mean this time.

[Pat Godwin]

But do you have to announce it? I mean, okay, by the way. No.

[Chick McGee]

Do you ever have.

[Pat Godwin]

We're gonna do the, you know, curly shuffle, back door bounce, whatever.

[Chick McGee]

You don't get swept up in the moment, in the passion and.

[Pat Godwin]

But I'm sitting around naming all as.

[Tom Griswold]

Far as I can tell. I mean, 6, 37 tonight, I can fit you in.

[Al Jackson]

Well, that was my question. Do you, do you ever schedule sex? They say you should schedule stuff that's important to you.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I don't think I ever had.

[Josh Arnold]

That's exactly right. We actually had therapist. A story about a therapist saying, hey, you should schedule sex so you have.

[Chick McGee]

Something to look forward to. Wednesday.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. The problem is we had a schedule, and we were in the produce section of Whole Foods. But, hey, look, the schedule's. The schedule.

[Al Jackson]

Got. Stick to it.

[Pat Godwin]

Grab the carrots, baby.

[Josh Arnold]

The watch doesn't lie, baby.

[Tom Griswold]

Get that skirt up over your head. Let's go.

[Pat Godwin]

So, Al, are you telling me you schedule this?

[Al Jackson]

I don't schedule it, but I'll tell my girl, like, hey, I'm going to get at you tonight.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm Going to get at more of a threat.

[Chick McGee]

Sounds like a threat.

[Tom Griswold]

Do me this favorite look at Christy.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And say, hey, I'm gonna get at you tonight. As sincerely as you can. And action.

[Pat Godwin]

Now, do I have to put a little sauce on it like we're hoping? Okay, baby, I'm gonna get at you tonight. That work?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, actually that's better than I thought it would be.

[Josh Arnold]

Christy is slipping out of her chair.

[Jeff Oskay]

That was so hot.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Pat Godwin]

If I tried that at home, I'd be locked out of my own house.

[Chick McGee]

Would you really?

[Tom Griswold]

If Tom and Christy hooked up the first break of the show, Tom would be.

[Josh Arnold]

Christy.

[Tom Griswold]

I. I really can't look at you. I don't. Next.

[Pat Godwin]

I understand why you're standing.

[Tom Griswold]

I tore that up.

[Pat Godwin]

I want to get. I want to get back to Al if this orgy.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

So is this like a planned thing after a show? You hooked up with three ladies.

[Al Jackson]

I had. Can we talk openly? I had one in Puerto Rico that was some Bacardi 151 fueled. That was years ago. But then as you. Well, it was just. We were just young kids and we were all real drunk and yeah, it. It worked out. But you have to have. There was a mix of, I would say straight women and bisexual. Like you need.

[Pat Godwin]

I know that bisexual people that can.

[Al Jackson]

Play all time qb, you know, they can. She was with. With the ladies and the men and she can kind of be a go between.

[Pat Godwin]

And with all the Bacardi. Was Big Al functioning?

[Al Jackson]

He was, but there have been times that he wasn't. It was. There was one devastating time where he really let me down after a strip club. I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

He really let you down. Every.

[Al Jackson]

I think every man, if we're speaking frankly, has had a situation where you finally get at your dream girl. Like your dream girl, like the one that you're like, oh my God, I can't believe she likes me. And we went to a strip club. We party up and we came back and he wasn't doing anything.

[Pat Godwin]

WD they call it? Yeah. He whiskey.

[Al Jackson]

There was nothing or pressure as.

[Angie Burnett]

As well.

[Al Jackson]

I think there was that too because it was just like I should not be with a girl that's beautiful. And yeah, he never. He never came back. I wish this story. It's like Shawshank. I wish I could tell you that it.

[Chick McGee]

She never came back either.

[Al Jackson]

Well, not really. Like I wrote her a couple times and she wrote her. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Wrote. Oh not road.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah. I tried to.

[Josh Arnold]

I get that soft thing off me.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, how's things going? Noodle Dick.

[Pat Godwin]

Is that a last? No, it's, it's dick noodle. Sorry. We're going to come back with it.

[Tom Griswold]

Shouldn't pull with a rope.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes, well, we'll come back.

[Josh Arnold]

Al mentioned bisexual. You know, I, I, I should, I've never told you guys this, but I do consider myself bisexual. If I can't have sex for free, I buy it.

[Pat Godwin]

I thought I meant you did it on a Schwinn. Now when we come back, we have, we'll get another song out of Mr. Godwin. We have Batman news. We have tips from 1958 ladies on how to find a husband.

[Tom Griswold]

Do we have a world record coming up?

[Pat Godwin]

I can find one.

[Tom Griswold]

No. I mean, no, no. God, no.

[Jeff Oskay]

No, no.

[Chick McGee]

That's okay. We don't, we're good. All right.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay. We have a really, some really cool stuff. We have mermaids in the news. We have some sporting news. But I, I want to say a special thanks to everybody who came out to the Riverside Casino. We got a big show tonight and.

[Tom Griswold]

Look at those, look at all those people.

[Chick McGee]

I know, it's crazy.

[Josh Arnold]

We sure love you.

[Pat Godwin]

Awesome.

[Chick McGee]

How many of you are going to be here tonight? Wow. There's going to be a lot of napping going on.

[Tom Griswold]

It's going to get real dirty.

[Pat Godwin]

I think after this discussion, many of you will probably try some of the experimental positions.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, today.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, there you go.

[Pat Godwin]

Tell me some guy's going to come down tonight with a cast in his groin. I tried the thing Al Jackson did. Broke it. We'll find out what's going on. Going on. We certainly appreciate you being here. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Mobile studios and this is the Bob and Tom show.

[Mark]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe.

[Chick McGee]

My dad works in B2B marketing.

[Jeff Oskay]

He came by my school for career.

[Josh Arnold]

Day and said he was a big roas man.

[Pat Godwin]

Then he told everyone how much he.

[Josh Arnold]

Loved calculating his return on ads spend.

[Chick McGee]

My friends still laugh at me to this day.

[Tom Griswold]

Not everyone gets B2B but with LinkedIn.

[Pat Godwin]

You'Ll be able to reach people who do get a hundred dollar credit on your next ad campaign. Go to LinkedIn.com results to claim your credit.

[Tom Griswold]

That's LinkedIn.com results. Terms and conditions apply.

[Pat Godwin]

LinkedIn the place to be.

[Tom Griswold]

To be. Good morning. Welcome back. The Riverside Casino, Riverside, Iowa. We are on the road. It is the Bob and Tom show.

[Pat Godwin]

This is sexy music from our DJ Al J.

[Al Jackson]

Little surprise Chef action in the room tonight. Yeah, baby.

[Tom Griswold]

That's right. Eager, eager, chef. And surprise.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. Now, Al, is. You keep this rig in your bedroom so you can play the sexy music for your girl.

[Al Jackson]

Oh, yeah. It hooks up the video camera, baby.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Is. Is this music one of your creations?

[Al Jackson]

It is. I had my friend come in and sing on this track and I made the. The background.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, really? Your friend came in and sang?

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, my friend. That's what we call her.

[Tom Griswold]

Your. Your expectation and suppositions about Al's life is probably many and varied and I just like to.

[Al Jackson]

Oh, Tom, here's the sexy French part.

[Pat Godwin]

Is that real French?

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, it's my call of story.

[Pat Godwin]

Now where. How do you. Do you speak French?

[Al Jackson]

No, my co host from dbl, Tori, the blonde, she speaks French and Italian.

[Pat Godwin]

Huh. Is that her voice?

[Al Jackson]

That's my other friend singing.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, nice.

[Al Jackson]

Lots of friends.

[Pat Godwin]

This is. You know what they're saying?

[Al Jackson]

I have no idea.

[Pat Godwin]

Probably they're saying in French, put that away. Go cut the grass. Get your hands off my awesome ass. Okay, so. I don't know. Well, we have.

[Tom Griswold]

We're back with more stuff, right, Tom?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, we have a lot to get to. Yeah, I thought we'd do something contemporary like talk about the.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that would be like talk about.

[Pat Godwin]

The Batman TV show from the 60s because this interesting article came out about it. Anybody familiar with Batman from the 60s and anybody remember who played Robin? Anyone? There we go. I heard it.

[Jeff Oskay]

Burt Ward over here.

[Tom Griswold]

Yep. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Christy, do you have the story?

[Chick McGee]

Adam west and his co stars reportedly participated in orgies in between filming on the set of the 60s era TV show Batman.

[Josh Arnold]

Holy bukkake, Batman.

[Tom Griswold]

And I guess there was a problem or. The legend is that Bert was too big for and they had trouble covering him up to fit him in the suit.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, yeah. Allegedly, Burt Ward was so well hung.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

That they had to have a, like a, you know, mammoth cod piece to hold things down. Things back.

[Al Jackson]

What a compliment.

[Josh Arnold]

They had to go with a sturgeon piece.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. Now here, this is. This is true. This.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's true. That's a bigger fish.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. This is an obscure fact I learned as a kid reading comic books. Do you know what the outfit is that Robin wore? I. This is not. I'm not. Anybody know?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

No, it is a jerkin. Literally, it's called a jerkin.

[Josh Arnold]

Not the whole outfit. It's just the jacket.

[Pat Godwin]

The jacket, it's called. And then now. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you sure the jacket's not called the ejaculate it.

[Pat Godwin]

No, that's. That's one of those short jackets that Eisenhower.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Like Robin wear.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. No, it's a jerkin.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Burt Ward, who played Robin in the show, said of his late co star Adam west, introduced me to the wildest sexual debauchery you can imagine.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

We often found that women were banging on our windows while we were bedded down with other women.

[Josh Arnold]

Been there. Birch.

[Tom Griswold]

Yep. Check my room out today, about 3:30 night.

[Chick McGee]

We're talking about wild times in the dressing rooms on the set, between the shots in the lunch wagon. And if I have to be honest with you, we became like sexual vampires.

[Tom Griswold]

Matter of fact, Josh and I call it the lunch wagon. Here it comes. The lunch wagon.

[Pat Godwin]

Quick Robin. The bat plug.

[Al Jackson]

I. I wonder even though there's more you in theory there's. There's more sex available to you because there's all the websites, all the apps. You can meet people in real life. It seems like the 60s 70s and mid to late 80s was when you could actually have the most sex.

[Josh Arnold]

It's because people knew when to keep. They shut up about it.

[Chick McGee]

You're right.

[Al Jackson]

Keep your mouth. Yeah. This went down. We don't need to write a blog a 10 year retrospective about. Should we have done that?

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, look who fell asleep in my bed.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I have a Christine McGee.

[Pat Godwin]

What the hell.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

With grapes and Miller Light.

[Pat Godwin]

No, do you remember. Do you remember the TV show Christy?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, did you hear Christy?

[Pat Godwin]

I hear. I'm trying to.

[Tom Griswold]

I've got all your names. I hear you.

[Pat Godwin]

I hear you.

[Tom Griswold]

I hear you.

[Chick McGee]

Of course I remember the show Christy. I loved.

[Pat Godwin]

Remember how they. They would cut away and they would have the words.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. They would have the Bam Bam Biff.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

For this they'd have like splat.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember it said Batman with the Batman logo and then it said in color.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. Wow, that's great. I was reading further in this and it. They started talking about Larry Hagman. Remember Larry Hagman from Dallas?

[Tom Griswold]

Larry.

[Chick McGee]

Larry Hagman was.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, Dallas. And dream of Genie.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I dream of Genie.

[Pat Godwin]

And he apparently took LSD on the set. Remember this story by dream of Genie or Dallas? I guess he was. He was quite the experimental.

[Tom Griswold]

He was a.

[Josh Arnold]

Who dosed junior.

[Tom Griswold]

He was ant passionately anti smoking. Remember he had a little handheld fan he'd carry around with him and get.

[Pat Godwin]

He was a former smoker.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, but I heard he liked to get after, didn't he? Wasn't he a drinker though?

[Jeff Oskay]

Raging alcoholic.

[Al Jackson]

Interesting.

[Pat Godwin]

Do you know and this I just.

[Jeff Oskay]

Seen at the meetings.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you remember who his mom was?

[Jeff Oskay]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Larry Hagman's mom.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, in real life. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Peter Pan.

[Pat Godwin]

Mary.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, Mary Martin played Peter Pan on Broadway back in the 1850s.

[Pat Godwin]

By this account. This says, this says Larry Hagman took a great deal of acid he talked about during the making of I Dream of Genie one time defecating all over a dressing room.

[Chick McGee]

There we go.

[Pat Godwin]

So I guess the joke would be heavy. Who shat Junior?

[Al Jackson]

My thing is the all over. Why not just in one place?

[Pat Godwin]

I don't know.

[Al Jackson]

You've made.

[Tom Griswold]

Why make a real mess.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

You know, the walls don't need to come into this.

[Tom Griswold]

You're right.

[Pat Godwin]

I think it's time for us to head over to the sports desk.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that couldn't be farther from the truth.

[Pat Godwin]

Is there anything of interest over there?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, we had the four nations playoff last night.

[Josh Arnold]

Bravo to the NHL for that whole thing.

[Tom Griswold]

It was a lot of fan interact, people loving it. Connor McDavid of the Oilers, the most dominant offensive player in the NHL. One of the biggest stars. Massive numbers highlight real plays. His career still been missing though that signature moment until last night. He scored the game winning goal in overtime. And the Four nations face off to give Canada a 32 win over the United States in bass it.

[Pat Godwin]

See this is breaking up the season like this because you objected to the one that the NBA did.

[Tom Griswold]

What do you mean? The all star game? No.

[Pat Godwin]

Where they broke up the season with.

[Tom Griswold]

That President's cup or what?

[Pat Godwin]

I think that's really smart because let's face it, the NBA plays too many games. It's like NASCAR does too many races and it becomes boring. There's nothing interesting anymore. Okay, they're playing again tonight. Blah blah blah.

[Tom Griswold]

They're not going to come off the.

[Pat Godwin]

82 games of course but by doing that mid season tournament that it's kind of fun.

[Tom Griswold]

I think they should do. I like it it. I think they should do this. Different basketball in the NBA. Yeah. Like Slovenia and Italy and some other countries that I can't name right now.

[Pat Godwin]

You know it is semi international now.

[Tom Griswold]

China.

[Josh Arnold]

But no true basketball fans or hockey fans feel like the seasons are too long. That's the thing, that's. I don't get bored.

[Chick McGee]

Do you think the NFL football season's too long?

[Tom Griswold]

Every game is important in the NFL.

[Pat Godwin]

And there should be.

[Tom Griswold]

Every single game is important.

[Al Jackson]

I think the Browns would object to that.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

After the fourth game we're like we're good here.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you guys enjoy my sweet baby Jaden Daniels playing Football this year, huh? Yeah, you did, Ballin. I will kill every one of you.

[Jeff Oskay]

That was an arousing cheer.

[Tom Griswold]

That was lukewarm at best.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. Wow, that was sad. We are in Iowa.

[Tom Griswold]

And that's four.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, that's sports.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay, good. Good to know. Oh, thank you. We have lots of other stuff coming.

[Al Jackson]

That's the way we wrap sports with Christy going. That's it.

[Tom Griswold]

Every day.

[Chick McGee]

Every day.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes, it was Jesus.

[Pat Godwin]

Coming up, once again, we have ladies for you. How to get a husband. Ladies from 1958. Just tips on what you should do to get a husband. This is from McCall's magazine.

[Tom Griswold]

McCall's, is that still.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that.

[Pat Godwin]

I don't know. But it was in 1958. Here's just one of the tips when traveling. Stay at small hotels where it's easier to meet strangers. This sounds like you're getting set up to be raped.

[Josh Arnold]

You know it didn't work out for Janet Lee.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, we got raped in again.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I did.

[Tom Griswold]

There we go again.

[Al Jackson]

Why does the size of the hotel help you meet strangers or not? I never. That's never been a problem.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

They're there or they're not. You want the. The biggest hotel bar you can find.

[Pat Godwin]

That's the 1950Choice election for all 1958. There might be some living limitations.

[Al Jackson]

I know. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Which hotels you could go to?

[Al Jackson]

Well, there was a book that told me where I could stay. Tough. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, look, it's not my fault.

[Al Jackson]

Tom does have a point. You can take it out. It wasn't his call.

[Tom Griswold]

You hear the rumbling in the crowd, the shock.

[Pat Godwin]

The people can't face reality.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, hey, one more sports story. Victor Wembanyana might be out for the season. He's got a blood clot in his shoulder.

[Josh Arnold]

Not Vicky. Vicky Wemwem.

[Tom Griswold]

Vicky, Vicki W is injured. They found it after the office, their game. And the only thing that saved his life was that his shoulder is so far away, it's like eight feet from his heart or he would have been. There was a problem.

[Pat Godwin]

He's a tall. He's a tall man.

[Al Jackson]

That's a big deal.

[Tom Griswold]

Very, very.

[Al Jackson]

Is it going to affect his career, are they saying?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know about that. Certainly the seat.

[Pat Godwin]

I see.

[Tom Griswold]

Let me tell you about Simply Safe. We trust Simply Safe and we use it here at the Bob and Tom studios. That's right. And the mobile studios. We've got our Simply Safe cameras set up to take pictures. Pictures of everybody here in the audience at Riverside Iowa. That booed Jaden Daniels. Traditional security systems only take action after somebody has already broken in and that is closing the barn door. Well, simply say it's active guard. Outdoor protection helps prevent break ins before they happen. They have AI powered cameras backed by live professional monitoring agents and monitor your property and detect suspicious activity. If there's a lurker outside lurking and acting suspiciously and lurking agents can see and talk to that lurker in real time, activate spotlights and even contact the police. All before they have a chance to get inside your home. That's the idea, isn't it? It's not a good idea. No long term contracts either or cancellation fees and monitoring plans. Start around a dollar a day 60 day satisfaction guarantee. Oh, take your love back. Name best home security system by U.S. news World Report for five years in a row and listen to this deal. Visit simplisafetom.com to claim 50 off. A new system with a professional monitoring plan and your first month free. That's simply safe. Tom.com 50 off. There's no safe like simply say.

[Pat Godwin]

Just a real quick footnote to the Batman story. Did you read this next line?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Adam west did once turn up at what he described as an orgy in Hollywood with Frank Gorshin. Do you remember who Frank Gorshin was?

[Josh Arnold]

Sure.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

The Riddler.

[Pat Godwin]

The Riddler.

[Jeff Oskay]

Precious.

[Al Jackson]

Get out of here. The whole cast is inside.

[Pat Godwin]

An orgy with the Riddler. Hey Batman, Riddle me this. How come I'm always the last one on the train? That's.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, you want to go first?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, you want to go first before.

[Al Jackson]

Not at all.

[Pat Godwin]

Things get swampy.

[Jeff Oskay]

Caesar Romero lurking in a corner.

[Pat Godwin]

We are in the Mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom show.

[Josh Arnold]

I can say to my new Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, find a keto friendly restaurant nearby and text it to Beth and Steve.

[Josh Arnold]

And it does without me lifting a finger so I can get in more.

[Pat Godwin]

Squats anywhere I can.

[Tom Griswold]

1, 2, 3. Well, that's be cash or credit.

[Josh Arnold]

Credit.

[Pat Godwin]

4 Galaxy S25 Ultra.

[Al Jackson]

The AI companion that does the heavy lifting. So you can do you get [e-mail].

[Pat Godwin]

Compatible with select apps. Requires Google Gemini account. Results may vary based on input. Check responses for accuracy.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, good morning. Hello. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show on the road in Riverside, Iowa. The magnificent Riverside casino and golf club.

[Chick McGee]

Current temperature 00 outside. Yeah. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Well that'll happen winter, you know, now we're happy to be here. We've got our friend Al Jackson Is our DJ today. And Al is going to be in Peoria Saturday night.

[Tom Griswold]

He's on the ones and twos.

[Pat Godwin]

Tom, what does that mean?

[Tom Griswold]

The volume. The numbers on the volume. They say that's the ones and the two.

[Pat Godwin]

What if you want a louder?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you can turn it up louder.

[Pat Godwin]

But that's when you're unlike the threes.

[Tom Griswold]

You would want it to be the 1, 2, 3, all the numbers. See? And that would be cumbersome.

[Pat Godwin]

Now, what is this, Al?

[Al Jackson]

This is called the heroine. And wins in the end. It's about my mom.

[Jeff Oskay]

Heroin?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, heroin. Not heroin. The drug?

[Al Jackson]

Yes. Not the fun kind. Yes.

[Chick McGee]

His mother is his arrow.

[Pat Godwin]

Worry about her.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, that's where they got the name for heroin. You know, hero in a bottle from the Bear Corporation. I'm not joking.

[Al Jackson]

Are you serious?

[Tom Griswold]

Yep.

[Chick McGee]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yikes. I did not know Bear Aspirin. It's those guys. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, okay. Well, good to know from Germany. Now it's time to change gears here because Pat has a song he wants to do.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, hey, that's. That's exciting.

[Pat Godwin]

We are once again in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Mobile Studios.

[Tom Griswold]

Who wants to hear a song from Pat Godwin? Everybody.

[Pat Godwin]

Now, Pat, is this. Does this involve a news story of any kind?

[Jeff Oskay]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Thought you were gonna say, does this involve a noose?

[Jeff Oskay]

We were taught we have a theme going that we didn't plan on. And the theme, I think, is sex.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes, Al, we were talking about it. Are you a fan of what's called the breakup sex or the makeup sex?

[Pat Godwin]

Sex.

[Al Jackson]

I think it's important. I am a huge, huge fan.

[Tom Griswold]

Break up to make up. That's all we do.

[Jeff Oskay]

And how about the crowd?

[Chick McGee]

You do the breakup sex.

[Tom Griswold]

You love me, then are you into.

[Jeff Oskay]

The makeup sex or the breakup sex?

[Tom Griswold]

It's a game for two.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I thought it was for Fool.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, a fool.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, what song is that?

[Tom Griswold]

Break up the makeup out of Stylistic.

[Chick McGee]

You don't know that song?

[Tom Griswold]

What's wrong with you?

[Pat Godwin]

I missed it. I don't know. I. I'm not aware of the star list.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you aware of the Spinners? Anybody like that?

[Josh Arnold]

Pat Godwin, ladies and gentlemen.

[Tom Griswold]

Nobody likes you, Josh.

[Jeff Oskay]

Break up. Have sex with me. Make up. Make up. Have sex with me. Break up. We've yelled until we're hoarse. We're headed for divorce. Our marriage is over. We hate each other. But first, some intercourse.

[Al Jackson]

Make up.

[Jeff Oskay]

Have sex with me. Break up. Have sex with me. Then screw me in court. Break up.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

See, I freeze at the end.

[Pat Godwin]

Very Nice.

[Chick McGee]

Write what you know. Right, Patty?

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Jeff Oskay]

What you know. Oh, I do know.

[Pat Godwin]

Now, we have completed our sports broadcast. Is that correct?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Never did the backslide. Tom, what about you? You?

[Pat Godwin]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

In all the time you've been divorced.

[Pat Godwin]

No, no. Come on.

[Al Jackson]

Wait. What's the backside? The going back for one more.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Backslide y'all didn't get. Yeah. I can't. I will say there's a little fun fact. My son was conceived on the last. The last time we ever did.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, really?

[Al Jackson]

It was meant to be. I have no beef with that. I feel like you let the universe do what it's going to do. Anyway, that was. We had a great beginning, not great middle. And then on the end, we had our beautiful son. And then that was it. Never again. Yeah. Shout out. Shout out. Baby Ford.

[Tom Griswold]

By applause. Who's done the backslide with an A? Anybody?

[Pat Godwin]

They're not going to do it.

[Chick McGee]

They're not going to do it with their current person sitting there and say.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, that's a good point.

[Chick McGee]

Especially last week.

[Pat Godwin]

What a dumb question.

[Jeff Oskay]

Who is having an affair right now?

[Tom Griswold]

By applause.

[Pat Godwin]

By applause.

[Tom Griswold]

Who has fallen out of love with her? Who they're with today? Anybody at all?

[Al Jackson]

By applause. Is this the last good memory you're gonna have?

[Pat Godwin]

Who's checked out some other chick in the room and said, man, I wish I were going down with her tonight?

[Tom Griswold]

Remember when Chick asked that question? That's when I knew I didn't love you anymore.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay, let's. Let's try to give the ladies some help here. No.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah, we need help.

[Tom Griswold]

They look to you, Tom.

[Pat Godwin]

No, I'm. I. This is a time machine right here. This is a.

[Chick McGee]

No, you are a time machine.

[Jeff Oskay]

Look in the mirror.

[Tom Griswold]

This is gonna be. Where did you find this and who gave it to you? And I need to talk to them.

[Pat Godwin]

1958. Son of A. McCall's magazine. The headline is 129 Ways to Get a Husband. It's a lot.

[Chick McGee]

What if they don't want.

[Tom Griswold]

What is he?

[Pat Godwin]

I know they hadn't written I am Woman with Helen Ready, blah, blah.

[Tom Griswold]

Are we going to go through all of of them?

[Pat Godwin]

No. Some of these are fun.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Go back to your hometown for a visit. The wild kid next door may have become a very eligible bachelor while you were away.

[Josh Arnold]

That still happens via social media.

[Pat Godwin]

Now it sounds like a Hallmark movie.

[Al Jackson]

Oh, sounds like a beat cube. There is.

[Chick McGee]

Well, I mean, my husband and I knew each other in high school and didn't see each other for years, and here we are Married. So it happens.

[Pat Godwin]

For now.

[Tom Griswold]

See what you did?

[Chick McGee]

For now.

[Pat Godwin]

See what you did.

[Tom Griswold]

She's talking. Talking. What are you thinking?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I said I know we could all. We have to fire some bullets, but we're not going to. Once again, this is how to find a husband. Oh, this is. Some of these are so sad.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, share them instead of reading them to yourself.

[Jeff Oskay]

Pause again.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm sorry. This one says, this is just carry a hat box.

[Tom Griswold]

Yep. Yeah, that's another.

[Chick McGee]

That's timely.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a classic rude.

[Josh Arnold]

I won't talk to a woman unless she's carrying a hat box.

[Al Jackson]

Wait, is that code for something?

[Tom Griswold]

Boy, she is hot. I don't have any hat box. Josh. I'm out.

[Josh Arnold]

See ya.

[Tom Griswold]

Hit the bricks.

[Chick McGee]

By applause. Who in this room has a hat box?

[Al Jackson]

I. I do.

[Josh Arnold]

Who in this room has a. Whoa, whoa.

[Pat Godwin]

Al.

[Jeff Oskay]

Is a hat box.

[Chick McGee]

Wait, Al, you have a hat box?

[Josh Arnold]

I have no doubt that's where he.

[Pat Godwin]

Keeps the strap on.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, look.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no. Al, yes or no, do you have a hat with a feather in it?

[Al Jackson]

I have a hat where a feather could be placed.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, yeah, that's.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, yeah. So, I mean, I did get a hat. I got a custom made hat, but I did learn. I think this might be where the hat boxing comes in. I was in South Carolina visiting my mom and Montez, her husband, a couple weeks ago, and he told me, it's old school back in the day, if you wanted to say, like, I'm with Christy Lee, but I want to tell the room without telling the room. When I walk in, I give Christy Lee my hat and like, it's a very Southern tradition where she holds your hat. Almost like a, a high school girl would wear your varsity jacket. And it's a way to, like, let the room know, like, she's spoken for fellas. Like backup. That's my lady. So I wonder if the hat box is just like. You're like, hey, this hat box is empty, fellas. I need something to fill this box.

[Pat Godwin]

Fellas, I think I'll fill your box.

[Tom Griswold]

I think we should talk more about.

[Pat Godwin]

I've got 10,000 junior tongues want to swim up to your uterus.

[Tom Griswold]

I think we should talk more about. Your stepfather's named Montez.

[Al Jackson]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Is he the coolest guy on earth or what?

[Al Jackson]

He is. Honestly, if you made a. A Hallmark movie about a Southern gentleman and you wrote him like I've written for television, you would get notes back saying, this character is not believed. Believable. He is. He is so old school. He's like when a woman walks in, he stands up. You know, he's like. He knows. Cursing it like he's old school South Carolina. Like a. A gentleman in a way. Like, that guy doesn't really exist anymore. Like, he's.

[Chick McGee]

Does he dress up every day?

[Al Jackson]

Every day.

[Pat Godwin]

Your dad and my dad had some similarities. My dad on. On his day off, would put on a coat and tie. Oh, my dad every Saturday, coat and tie.

[Tom Griswold]

What differences did they have, Tom?

[Pat Godwin]

They were both. They were both attorneys.

[Tom Griswold]

Huh? Those are similarities.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah. Keep going.

[Pat Godwin]

They were both Browns fans.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, both Brown fans?

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Brown.

[Pat Godwin]

Brown. The team. Yeah. Ridiculous.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my gosh.

[Al Jackson]

My dad was. I don't think my dad ever wore anything that most people would consider, like, leisure might. The far.

[Pat Godwin]

The.

[Al Jackson]

The worst he would get is he would wear a white V neck T shirt with slacks and loafers with no socks. That was my dad's uniform.

[Pat Godwin]

My father never owned a pair of.

[Tom Griswold]

Jeans that was casual.

[Pat Godwin]

And he would. And did your dad call them dungarees?

[Al Jackson]

He did not. He did not call them dungarees. I've never. Only the Lee dungarees. I remember those commercials, and I was like, what is a dungaree?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, remember Buddy Lee? Wasn't that the spokesman for lead? A little cartoon character?

[Al Jackson]

I kind of remember Buddy.

[Tom Griswold]

Buddy. Never mind.

[Chick McGee]

Josh, are you having fun yet?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I'm good. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, here we go.

[Pat Godwin]

Josh. Josh. More ways. More ways to meet a man.

[Josh Arnold]

Sure.

[Pat Godwin]

From 1958. Get a dog and walk it.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that's a. That's current.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, That's a good one.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's absolutely.

[Pat Godwin]

Now this one.

[Al Jackson]

Gotta meet everybody with a dog. That's the part that stinks.

[Chick McGee]

Well, there's that. Yeah. Everybody wants to see your dog.

[Al Jackson]

I don't want to do that.

[Pat Godwin]

Have your car break down at strategic places.

[Chick McGee]

How do you do that?

[Jeff Oskay]

That didn't work.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, Bundy used to do that.

[Josh Arnold]

He's not kidding.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

He would. He would put a fake cast on his arm and he had a. A van, and he would put a sofa out on the. Well, that's.

[Pat Godwin]

And they do that in the movie.

[Tom Griswold]

Out on the sidewalk. And someone would. Hey, can I give you a hand with that? Oh, that'd be great. Thank you. Knock on the head.

[Josh Arnold]

In other words. It worked.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, it worked. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Once again, this is from 1958. How to find a man. Ladies attend night school, take courses. Men like.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. You know, man courses.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Like Hammer.

[Josh Arnold]

Sorry, Betty, I have to go to small engine repair.

[Pat Godwin]

You know, Christy, I want you to read this one. Column two, number six. What does that say?

[Chick McGee]

Column two, number six.

[Jeff Oskay]

Careful.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my God. Read the obituaries to find eligible widowers. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I can't believe I'm saying this. That's a great idea.

[Chick McGee]

Well, we've all seen in the movies where the ladies show up with the casseroles.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, why wouldn't you go to a rogue funeral just to meet people? Right?

[Chick McGee]

You could.

[Al Jackson]

You could say.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I was early on in this life. We were.

[Chick McGee]

We worked together.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, God, that's awful.

[Tom Griswold]

And you're the widow.

[Al Jackson]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

Would you like to go see a movie?

[Pat Godwin]

Too soon.

[Tom Griswold]

I can wait till after the burial.

[Pat Godwin]

Once Again, this is 1958. How to pick up a man. Ladies, sit on a park bench and feed the pigeons.

[Al Jackson]

Rockies trainer.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you say sit?

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He said sit. Take a bicycle trip through Europe.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, I'd like to do that. And I would not want to meet anyone at all.

[Pat Godwin]

No, this says become a nurse or an airline stewardess. These have very high marriage rates.

[Josh Arnold]

Really?

[Jeff Oskay]

I married a nurse.

[Josh Arnold]

You did.

[Tom Griswold]

Cold hard fact. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Volunteer for jury duty?

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You want to marry the criminal? What the heck?

[Pat Godwin]

Can you volunteer for jury duty?

[Al Jackson]

No, probably not, I think.

[Josh Arnold]

Do you want the person who volunteers for jury duty? Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I could spot a guilty guy a mile away. Pick me now.

[Pat Godwin]

Here, Christy, this. Listen to this one.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Once again, how to find a man. Ladies, don't be afraid to associate with more attractive girls. They may have left them overs.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah. Be the wing girl.

[Al Jackson]

I look. I totally agree, because I've hung out with dudes that are much better. My roommate when I lived in Miami was a good looking dude and he brought girls around. And he was definitely the looks of us. But I could make him laugh so I could get a couple. Like, hey, look, my penis has very poor eyesight. It. I'm that with whatever.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, you know, so you'd get the. I better be careful how I word this.

[Al Jackson]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. The. The. The lesser of the.

[Al Jackson]

It wouldn't even be the lesser. It's just like if three girls come over, they like him. He can only take one. Hopefully. Now, I like mods. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay. This also suggests ladies, to find a man in 1958, drop the handkerchief. That still works. Oh, oh.

[Chick McGee]

We all saw. What was that movie? Legally Blonde where she drops the pen and does the ladies. You know what I'm talking about, Right.

[Pat Godwin]

If you're going to drop the handkerchief, don't blow your nose into it and then drop yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Madam, you seem to have misplaced your snot rag.

[Al Jackson]

That's really what it is.

[Chick McGee]

But you were just supposed to go to the grocery store and meet somebody in the produce.

[Pat Godwin]

Here's one. Christy. Stand in a corner and cry softly.

[Tom Griswold]

And you know what?

[Josh Arnold]

Say what you want.

[Tom Griswold]

That turns me off, you know. Yeah, I. And I will find you.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I like my girls to look like they're at the end of Blair Witch.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes. Chances are good a man will come over to find out. What.

[Tom Griswold]

What's the PTSD stand for? Patty. Okay, let's do this.

[Pat Godwin]

Now, here's one you can do here today, ladies, if you're single today, if you're at a hotel, have the bellboy page you.

[Josh Arnold]

That's interesting.

[Tom Griswold]

The bell boys.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no, that's not gonna happen.

[Pat Godwin]

But I mean, do you go to the front, you know. Ms. Clark, please report to the lobby.

[Chick McGee]

So what, I mean, have all these guys are gonna stay in the lobby?

[Josh Arnold]

No, they're all gonna look at you. Back in the day, they would all.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, and you do it like it's Miss. Oh, she's available, right. Perhaps don't wear pants. And they might.

[Chick McGee]

They'll notice.

[Pat Godwin]

That's provocative.

[Al Jackson]

I bet she send the bellboy up to your room. Yeah, like old school style. Like that's got to be a way to meet some.

[Pat Godwin]

Then you're just going to meet the bell boy. You want to meet one of the dudes running around in the bell boys.

[Tom Griswold]

I think nine out of ten can arrange for a prostitute, I believe.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, we learned that from you, didn't we?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, you know that straight on.

[Al Jackson]

Eddie Sincere.

[Pat Godwin]

That's right. Eddie Sincere, my man. I remember.

[Tom Griswold]

Even Al is tired of your story.

[Al Jackson]

No, I love that. I love that story. And it's just like that's. It's one of the best names. If I could change my DJ name, it might be DJ Eddie Sincere.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I was. I was a bellboy at a Holiday Inn at 271 in Chagrin Boulevard.

[Al Jackson]

Yes. Where I was a bus boy at that same.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm sorry, I fell asleep between 271 Boulevard.

[Pat Godwin]

I was 16 years old and a guy, one of the salesmen, he had his room and he said, can you get me a woman? We don't have that service here, sir. Last time I was here, I got one who gave it to.

[Tom Griswold]

And he described was this guy from the old west. Can you get me a woman? And I like to take a bath later.

[Pat Godwin]

I was just a little boy with.

[Tom Griswold]

A fresh oats from a horse and.

[Pat Godwin]

He described the bellman that got him and said, oh, that said, he's sincere and Eddie was a gentleman.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, we have the top 10 ways to pick up a woman from this decade. Okay, these suggestions are from this decade made, not 1950.

[Pat Godwin]

Eddie Sincere kept a bottle of booze in the bucket in the jamboard. He had a good time. I hope you're having a good time.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you having a good time? Yeah. Damn right you are. What'd you pay to get in here?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I know. And when we come back, we'll get another song out of Patty G. We'll find out what's going on with Al Jackson. Al is going to be in Peoria at the Duke Box Saturday night and on stage tonight.

[Tom Griswold]

Here.

[Pat Godwin]

Right here. Riverside. Thank you very much.

[Tom Griswold]

Are we sold out tonight? Do you know that? Are we sold out?

[Pat Godwin]

I think maybe we got a good crowd here already. If they all come.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you so much for being here so early.

[Pat Godwin]

We do have a special T shirt on honor of this event, by the way. And we're selling the shirt here. We're also selling it on our website. And all the money is going to go to the Stead family hospital.

[Tom Griswold]

We're going to give away a damn poster. Don't forget about the damn poster.

[Pat Godwin]

It's a fine poster.

[Tom Griswold]

That damn posterior.

[Pat Godwin]

Good. In your bathroom or your living room. And we're coming right back. This is the mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio, and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Mark]

Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Get a look at today's show on our YouTube channel.

[Pat Godwin]

No one knows music like Rolling Stone. Senior writer Brian Hyatt talks the biggest music news from the biggest stars.

[Al Jackson]

Almost everyone is teaming up on Drake. It's like Drake versus the world.

[Angie Burnett]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

You first met Prince. You were driving for him before you were drumming for him. That's correct.

[Pat Godwin]

Steven Wonder.

[Chick McGee]

You kind of have to understand how.

[Mark]

Stevie began white radio. That's where the money was.

[Pat Godwin]

That's what still is.

[Chick McGee]

You know what I'm saying?

[Pat Godwin]

Rolling Stone music. Now follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in Riverside, Iowa, at the Riverside Casino Golf Club and Eatery. Hello, Tom, Christy, Pat, Josh, Al Jackson here on the Ones and the Twos.

[Chick McGee]

Love it.

[Pat Godwin]

Al Jackson is our DJ today. These are the mobile O'Reilly Parts Studios.

[Tom Griswold]

O'Reilly Auto Parts.

[Pat Godwin]

What did I say?

[Tom Griswold]

O'Reilly Parts.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, sorry. I'm. This is. I'm being distracted by this sexy music.

[Chick McGee]

It is pretty sexy yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

I'll plays this in the bedroom.

[Tom Griswold]

Al plays this in the bedroom.

[Al Jackson]

Do you guys play sex during music?

[Chick McGee]

Ever play sex during music or music during sex?

[Al Jackson]

Play sex during music?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. The other way around is awkward at a concert venue.

[Tom Griswold]

He said what he meant and he meant what he said.

[Al Jackson]

That's right. I'm sticking to it. I don't. I don't like music.

[Chick McGee]

I don't either. It's distracting.

[Josh Arnold]

I want the natural. Faps and glucks.

[Pat Godwin]

And I'm familiar. I'm familiar with the facts. The glux. Is this dissapping? Oh, oh, I'm sorry I asked.

[Tom Griswold]

Can I ask follow up question? How are you spelling that? G L, U K. Gluk and F A, P. Yes. Faps.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

All right.

[Josh Arnold]

Just like they sound.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's your new album, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Faps and Glocks.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, it's not a bad title.

[Pat Godwin]

It'd be a good morning show.

[Tom Griswold]

Faps and Glocks.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm fap.

[Tom Griswold]

I done it. Sound like a sex move.

[Pat Godwin]

Time now to visit. We have a visitor coming in. I've been. I have been told.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, we do.

[Tom Griswold]

Hot damn.

[Pat Godwin]

We're going to be joined by Ed Septic.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, Eddie.

[Al Jackson]

Eddie's here.

[Tom Griswold]

All right. We're buddy.

[Angie Burnett]

Yeah, I'm AD Septic. You guys may have heard of me. I'm the plumber that don't give a flush. I'll bang your pipes. Not your wife, but maybe your wife. Oh, man, it's great to be here. I love coming to the casino. Who loves coming to the casino?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Angie Burnett]

Oh, man. Only thing I don't like about coming to the casino, I always got a buddy who's like, hey, man, here's 50 bucks. Will you put on red? Or here's 20 bucks, will you put on number 20? It's like, sure. But I'll tell you right now, you lost. A better bet would be, I'm going to take your money, spend it at the strip club. I'll be honest. I've had some low points.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Angie Burnett]

When I was low on my money, Josh, what I used to do, I just tell people I was going to the casino.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh.

[Angie Burnett]

I'm like, hey, man, I'm going to the casino. You want me to place a bet? Only 100 bucks. Come on, double down you. I'd run into him like a month later. They're like, hey, man, how was the casino? I'm like, the casino? Oh, yeah, not good for you. I'll tell you, I'm going back this afternoon. If you want to try to double down. Well, I better. I better mosey. I got a 10:30 down at the Smith house.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Angie Burnett]

That septic tank ain't gonna suck itself.

[Pat Godwin]

That's septic. Ladies and gentlemen, once again, we are in Riverside, Iowa, at the beautiful Casino in Golf Resort. And thanks to 100.7 the fox, we're on the road. We got a big live show tonight. Yes, sir, comedian Al Jackson. We've got. Let's see. And Josh Arnold's gonna be there, Pat. God, this is going to be fun. Well, we have a lot going on now, Pat. We have another song coming out of you. I understand. Fairly soon, but.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, you got to work today. Didn't we tell you?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, I'm just gonna hang.

[Pat Godwin]

I want to get back just one more time to this list of how to pick up a man in 1958. Because I don't understand a couple of these. Okay, this one is weird to me. This is once again from McCall's magazine, 1958. Ladies, when you're out to dinner with him, order your steak rare. What does that mean?

[Chick McGee]

I have no idea.

[Al Jackson]

Like, you're. Like, you're kind of a meat eater, right? You're a lady, but you're not too prissy about it. I guess that's what you're trying to get at.

[Josh Arnold]

That means if she'll swallow a little blood, she'll swallow other things.

[Pat Godwin]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, here's the updated list. Increase your daily encounters and meet new people. That is as lame as anything this sounds. Yeah. More or less common sense.

[Pat Godwin]

How about this one? To counter that, change the shade of your stockings and be sure to keep the seams straight.

[Josh Arnold]

Very important. Very important.

[Pat Godwin]

Do they make stockings with seams anymore?

[Chick McGee]

Yes, they do, but you have to look for them.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. How many ladies have at the Goodwill pantyhose in their drawer?

[Pat Godwin]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

Right. Now, see, not a big. Not a big.

[Pat Godwin]

Not a lot.

[Chick McGee]

Not a lot. Not a big seller anymore.

[Al Jackson]

I felt like that defined my childhood was like the pantyhose that came in the egg.

[Chick McGee]

Sure.

[Al Jackson]

Legs that was around my house everywhere. And I just don't see them anymore.

[Tom Griswold]

They still sell them legs and Kotex and all that stuff.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. Wait, what?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah. Hot water bottles.

[Tom Griswold]

Try. Try online dating. Well, you might be reluctant to for dating apps to find a wife. Online research shows that the increase of online dating services could be stronger. Marriages are a result from dating services.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay, here's one once again from 1958. Use the ashtray. Don't crush out your Cigarettes and coffee cups.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that sounds like a dirty, dirty waitress.

[Pat Godwin]

I want a well done steak in the coffee. There you go. Okay. Classic. What do you got go to?

[Tom Griswold]

Go to church or a religious gathering. A nice place to meet nice people. Josh, your thoughts?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, if you're both of a certain religious philosophy, of course. That sounds good.

[Pat Godwin]

Or fake it.

[Al Jackson]

That.

[Josh Arnold]

I wouldn't recommend that.

[Pat Godwin]

I believe this as long as I can get under your shirt.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you take it far enough to go ahead and convert hurt?

[Chick McGee]

Some do.

[Pat Godwin]

Now, see, some of these may be dated. I'm going to read this verbatim, see if you agree. This is once again from 1958. Double date with a gay, happy married couple. Let him see what it's like.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Al Jackson]

When they're saying gay, are they saying a happy.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Saying a happy couple. In 1958, you didn't go out with.

[Tom Griswold]

Double date with an angry black couple. How about that? How about do that?

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, that might work, though. You'd be like, look, honey, we have our problems, but we're not yelling.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, exactly like that.

[Tom Griswold]

Start a new hobby or activity.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Al Jackson]

You know what? That's where we are with. There's a lot of people doing, like, adult kickball and adult volleyball leagues. I didn't understand who would do that. Pickleball, right? People meet like that.

[Chick McGee]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

How about this one? Ask his mother for her recipes.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah, you went over the.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's cool.

[Pat Godwin]

So it's Chef, Chef Boyardee in the can. Delightful. Mildred, you are really a good cook.

[Chick McGee]

Well, your mom made it for you.

[Tom Griswold]

Accept invitations to weddings. It says here it's a great place to meet. Forever mate.

[Josh Arnold]

It says forever mate.

[Pat Godwin]

Forever mate.

[Al Jackson]

I think weddings. Weddings, weirdly, are more hookup spots than they are actual, like, let's get together weddings, everybody. It's an open bar, so let's, like, stop that. We're gonna ever see each other after this. This is. Everyone's blacked out.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

So, like, we're having fun tonight.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Here's one. When strolling with him, don't insist on stopping at every store window.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that is.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, women be stopping.

[Jeff Oskay]

I love you. I'll marry you right there in the spot.

[Tom Griswold]

And finally on my list, go back to school.

[Pat Godwin]

School.

[Chick McGee]

Go back to school.

[Tom Griswold]

A study by Facebook shows that 28 of married Facebook users found their spouses while attending college and furthering their education.

[Pat Godwin]

You know, okay, here's one you can do here. I don't get this one either. Go stand by a river.

[Al Jackson]

That sounds like an insult in the 1700s.

[Tom Griswold]

Why don't you? Why now? Thou should standeth by a river.

[Josh Arnold]

I have met plenty of lovely river skanks.

[Chick McGee]

Do you carry a fishing pole or something, or are you just standing there?

[Tom Griswold]

I met a very nice man in a van down by the river.

[Chick McGee]

What do you say? By a river.

[Jeff Oskay]

River skank.

[Pat Godwin]

Here's one for you from 1958. Ladies, resist the urge to make him over. Pause, dash before marriage, that is.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, you gotta wait till you got them tied down, man.

[Josh Arnold]

Anybody else just get a chill down their spine? That felt weird.

[Tom Griswold]

I think that's the closest I'll ever get to actual witchcraft. Did you hear that?

[Pat Godwin]

I think now, now, I think they've gone off the deep end on this one. This is literally what it says. Number 114, stow away on a battleship.

[Chick McGee]

No way.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, look, look, you're gonna get laid a lot.

[Chick McGee]

You're not gonna get married.

[Pat Godwin]

Not to mention. Not to mention burial at sea.

[Josh Arnold]

Jeez.

[Pat Godwin]

Skank overboard. Court bow coming up. Christy, what have we got over there?

[Chick McGee]

Well, we're gonna stay in the olden days because we have the antique police docket from Casper, Wyoming. This is kind of interesting, actually, from 1904, what they were arresting folks for. We have a woman attacking a man with a garden hoe. We have beer down by river ho skank. And we have a beer spill that might lead to a song with Pack. God.

[Jeff Oskay]

A spill song again.

[Tom Griswold]

Hot dog.

[Chick McGee]

You know what? We love the spill song.

[Pat Godwin]

All right, we have audience participation coming up in a matter of moments. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Mark]

There's more of the show coming up. Book your next vacation with Christy Lee and Colette. Visit England, Scotland and Wales this September 28th. Visit bobandtom.com for details. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Welcome back. The Bob and Tom show on location in beautiful Riverside, Iowa, at the Riverside Casino and Golf Resort. Yeah, Tom and Christy and Pat and Josh and Al Jackson's here, and I'm Chick. Good morning.

[Pat Godwin]

We're not going to play around to golf today because it's zero. That's Fahrenheit balls at freeze. Yeah, it's. It's great. Happy to be here.

[Chick McGee]

All the balls.

[Tom Griswold]

All the balls at Freeze.

[Pat Godwin]

Got a little. Got a little action over there with. With Al Jackson.

[Al Jackson]

Yes, sir.

[Pat Godwin]

Do you have a DJ name, Al?

[Al Jackson]

Yes, it's. I may unblock you. That's how I feel about a lot of my friends. I'm like, I may Unblock you. There it is.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, I may unblock you.

[Tom Griswold]

That's nice.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay.

[Al Jackson]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

I got my pick up on that. No, I pick up on that.

[Tom Griswold]

I pick up on that.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, that's how we hipsters talk. Is that how you talk, my man? 50 grand.

[Al Jackson]

One more time, Tom, do you want to talk to the crowd about any word that I've taught you that you really feel like you would use in your regular life?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, this is a good question. Let me think about it, which is.

[Tom Griswold]

What you say, my man. 50 grand. A lot. That really.

[Al Jackson]

That one really locked in there.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, it sure did.

[Pat Godwin]

Now, what is again, A thought.

[Josh Arnold]

That hoe over there.

[Tom Griswold]

Hoe over there.

[Pat Godwin]

Thought.

[Tom Griswold]

Thought.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. So one might say in the lobby. Well, we have a lovely crowd here. Have you checked out that thought?

[Tom Griswold]

What about. What about the term fam? What up, fam? That's. That's a big one.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I can't believe you don't use that.

[Pat Godwin]

That the one referencing your coterie of chums.

[Al Jackson]

Oh, coterie of chum.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Don't you guys wonder why you just.

[Tom Griswold]

Don'T tune in Monday morning? And Tom's going, well, they're. They're all gone. It's just me.

[Chick McGee]

We all stayed in Iowa.

[Pat Godwin]

And you're suggesting that your.

[Tom Griswold]

Your fam is short for family? Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Your group, they're like. They're like family freak.

[Tom Griswold]

You. Right?

[Pat Godwin]

Okay. So, Josh, I'll make you more comfortable by going, good morning, fam.

[Josh Arnold]

Morning to you.

[Pat Godwin]

This is just it. Well, I think it's time to get a song out of Pat.

[Tom Griswold]

Here we go.

[Pat Godwin]

But I understand we need to. It has to be prompted by a news story. Is that correct, everybody?

[Josh Arnold]

That is often how this works.

[Tom Griswold]

Cross your fingers for a highway spill. Here we go.

[Chick McGee]

Officials in Florida say an overturning semi spilled 44, 000 pounds of beer, which is a weird way to describe that. I think AI wrote that story. 44,000 pounds of beer, that is. Yeah. This happened on i75 near Tampa. The tractor trailer driveway.

[Tom Griswold]

It was near Tampa.

[Pat Godwin]

Down there.

[Josh Arnold]

Near Tampa, Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Was it near Tampa?

[Josh Arnold]

There was an accident in Tampa.

[Chick McGee]

God, I hate all of them. You know that.

[Pat Godwin]

Do you wear a TM Pix?

[Jeff Oskay]

Was it close to Tampa?

[Chick McGee]

No, I don't have to do that.

[Tom Griswold]

When I'm on my period, I wear a camp.

[Josh Arnold]

I had to buy a TM packs in Tampa for my period.

[Tom Griswold]

It was horrible.

[Pat Godwin]

That was. These boys are in my fam.

[Jeff Oskay]

I think someone tampered with it.

[Pat Godwin]

My Pampers have been tampered.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, who's wearing Pampers?

[Jeff Oskay]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Aces upon cases of bush and Budweiser. Were bush strewn on the grass?

[Pat Godwin]

No, that, sir. We had a case of Bush in Puerto Rico.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah. Well, yeah. I'm from Ohio, so, like, I'm from. I used to go drink at places where bush light was on draft, like. Yeah, that. Labats. Like, there's. It's so interesting how regional different beers are.

[Pat Godwin]

What's the biggest beer in Iowa?

[Josh Arnold]

I knew I was among friends. That is legitimately my favorite beer.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. No kidding.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

That's what you drink when you're fishing with the bros.

[Al Jackson]

Yes, I do.

[Jeff Oskay]

And the lake skanks.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. What are the. One of the lake skanks like?

[Pat Godwin]

Although I don't drink, I. I like a nice light bush.

[Tom Griswold]

My applause. Who has a big bush?

[Josh Arnold]

Just a massive be.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, you can't tell where your waist.

[Pat Godwin]

Be honest. Come on.

[Chick McGee]

Come on.

[Pat Godwin]

Like, I don't know what to do first.

[Jeff Oskay]

Put on.

[Josh Arnold]

Put on the condom or grab the machete.

[Tom Griswold]

Either way. Either way. Oh, it's happening, but we've got to decide.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm sorry. So. So we have a lot of beer spilled in Tampa.

[Chick McGee]

Tampa. You got a song.

[Pat Godwin]

Good thing about ping fours.

[Jeff Oskay]

So a truck has spilled some beer. And we always do it running. Gag or tired writing, Josh?

[Pat Godwin]

Both.

[Jeff Oskay]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Bingo.

[Jeff Oskay]

We do this. So here we go. Little America for your ass.

[Pat Godwin]

No need to be crass.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Think about a piece of ass walking down the road. Oh, it's been a while. I got a hit me load Speaking loads I'm hauling bush and Bud Light took a turn too fast and I blew the light. He actually didn't, but that. That rhymes. Florida highway. That's the way the song goes. There's a pause.

[Pat Godwin]

If you're gonna rhyme like that, have a joke in there.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. That was plenty of room to put it.

[Pat Godwin]

Put some material. It could have been a gag, like maybe camp or something. Anything funny?

[Jeff Oskay]

All right. Are we ready?

[Chick McGee]

Feels good, doesn't it?

[Pat Godwin]

Wake me up. No, no, go ahead, K. Listen, there's a.

[Jeff Oskay]

There is a pause there in the song. There's no need for words there.

[Pat Godwin]

Jokes. I hope we'll get more coffee.

[Chick McGee]

Coffee.

[Jeff Oskay]

Florida highway soaked in suds there's cans and cases Pissed off faces and wasted buds. My voice is nice there.

[Josh Arnold]

You sounded very good. Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

My boss is gonna blow. I know.

[Josh Arnold]

We had time to admire your voice because we weren't laughing.

[Pat Godwin]

Funny words would be nice.

[Jeff Oskay]

You've had me do this 30 million times. I've run out of jokes.

[Pat Godwin]

Clearly evident to everyone here, judging by the stone silence.

[Jeff Oskay]

Because I have speeding tickets and parking fines. Doc worker said I reeked of wine, took a breathalyzer. I'm in the clear. But wow, what about all this wasted beer? Wasted beer. All that wasted brew. IPAs too.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, room for joke.

[Jeff Oskay]

When I'm stuck, you know what I do? I go to Josh Little scatting.

[Josh Arnold]

Bad God.

[Jeff Oskay]

When everybody. Everybody, Josh Arnold. Thanks for saving my ass.

[Pat Godwin]

Like to send out all the. The radios that have been turned off to save.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'm moving to Tampa.

[Pat Godwin]

One of the highlights last night.

[Al Jackson]

I got your back.

[Pat Godwin]

God Godwin and I get here and the two of us walk into the main lobby and this guy comes up, he goes, hey, Tom. He goes, is that Ace, the Pat Godwin? Yes. You know, I know it's radio and everything, anything. But you know, some things I have.

[Jeff Oskay]

Done in a tanning.

[Pat Godwin]

Some things just aren't clear to people.

[Angie Burnett]

Really?

[Pat Godwin]

Yes, absolutely.

[Chick McGee]

A lot of people don't watch on YouTube. They don't know.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay, interesting. All right.

[Al Jackson]

I think at some point over the 30 years, you would pick up that Ace is an African American.

[Chick McGee]

You would think perhaps.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, no, I just meant that Ace is so much taller than Pat Al Jackson.

[Josh Arnold]

Always the race thing, just ridiculous.

[Al Jackson]

I built my career on it.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm making an innocent height comment.

[Pat Godwin]

Ace is a very tough. Speaking of Ace, are you ready for the Ace Cosby joke of the day? Here he is with his joke of the day.

[Josh Arnold]

A chance.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, look, it can't get any worse.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, Ace, what's brown and sounds like a bell? What's brown and sounds like a bell? I don't know. Ace, what dung that was.

[Jeff Oskay]

Maybe I should sing.

[Josh Arnold]

They love it, Ace.

[Pat Godwin]

They love it. Maybe you should have gone D d.

[Tom Griswold]

You're getting a.

[Chick McGee]

Aces joke of the day brought to you by Sleep numbers Sleep better together. Check out the sleep number store near you or sleep number.com for a limited time. Some of their beds are 50% off.

[Tom Griswold]

And a big round of applause for Christy. She did that from memory. Wasn't reading.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I forgot the copy. Sorry, Ace.

[Tom Griswold]

Totally extemporaneous.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Thank you very much. Now, coming up, we have exciting news also. Christy is going to do kind of a cool thing this fall. She's going to be your tour guide if you want to take a nice trip to Europe.

[Chick McGee]

Yes. It's going to be so much fun. We're going to go to the UK. Yep. September 28th. Tom, you're exactly right. We're going to Go to England, Scotland and Wales with my good friends at Colette Travel. You'll get to see London, Edinburgh, Oxford, Chester. Chick's apartment.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, check this out, Christy. There's a picture of you and the QR code.

[Chick McGee]

Look at that.

[Tom Griswold]

Andy, get your phones.

[Chick McGee]

Where's Andy?

[Tom Griswold]

Take a picture.

[Chick McGee]

Is Andy going?

[Pat Godwin]

Actually, there's a nude shot of Andy.

[Jeff Oskay]

If you use the QR code, he's going to stand.

[Pat Godwin]

No, it's tasteful.

[Tom Griswold]

It's husband is backstage. And all of us, totally unprompted. We didn't plan it. We all went up to Andy and goes. We all say, hey, Andy, how you doing? We're. We're thinking of you. Good job, buddy.

[Chick McGee]

You hang in there, all right?

[Tom Griswold]

Hang in there, Andy.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, why don't you go on vacation with Andy and I? Colette makes travel easy, including flights, meals, hotels, sightseeing and local experiences. All you have to do is have the time of your life. Don't miss your chance to see Great Britain with me. Call Colette 800-581-8942 or visit bobandom.comtrip to learn more. That number again. 800-581-8942 or Visit bobandom.com/trip. It's going to be great. It's going to be a wonderful time in fall.

[Pat Godwin]

Now, if you think that last bit derailed, wait till you see what's coming up.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, boy.

[Pat Godwin]

People say, is your show really live? You bet it is. Oh, we would have edited most of this out already. When we come back, we are live, as a matter of fact, in Iowa at the beautiful Riverside Casino and Golf Resort. It's a great spot, a beautiful hotel, a great casino. We're calling it the portable O'Reilly Auto Parts Mobile Studio. And this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

We are in Riverside, Iowa, at the Riverside Casino and Golf Resort. It is the Bob and Tom show, live on the scene with news, live, local and late breaking.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, we got the more soulful, sexy time with Al Jackson. Ladies and gentlemen, Tom.

[Al Jackson]

What's my DJ name? Let's see if you remember.

[Pat Godwin]

I want to break you. No, no. Give me a second. No, I. You know, I want to block you. No, I'm gonna unblock you.

[Tom Griswold]

I may.

[Al Jackson]

I. I feel like you should be yelling this at me at dinner. I may unblock you.

[Pat Godwin]

I may unblock you.

[Al Jackson]

There you go.

[Pat Godwin]

There you go. I may. Is it. Is it ime? Is that your first name?

[Al Jackson]

I may do that for you, Tom.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay.

[Al Jackson]

I would never block you, Tom. I Love you, my brother from another mother.

[Pat Godwin]

I think that's very kind of you.

[Tom Griswold]

That's right.

[Pat Godwin]

Now, Al is going to be doing stand up comedy with us tonight right here on this stage in Iowa. This is a great room. We are in the beautiful Riverside Casino and Golf Resort. It's a great day here. A terrific crowd. So happy to be here.

[Tom Griswold]

This is suite number seven, I believe.

[Pat Godwin]

And we will also let you know Al is going to be at the Jukebox Comedy Club. Is that correct?

[Al Jackson]

Yes, sir.

[Pat Godwin]

That's coming up Saturday night.

[Al Jackson]

Two shows.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay, two shows. Thank you very much. Now we are on stage with Pat Godwin. And Pat decided he'd like to do another song. I understand this is abused again.

[Chick McGee]

I was searching, watching during the break. I had a feeling the song was coming up. I don't know why.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you hear when Tom said we have Pat Godwin here to do it? And somebody laughing like they're. They're watching Jerry Lewis Somehow Pat Godwin mocking me.

[Pat Godwin]

I think so, Pat, that previous song, you got all the chords right, all the notes.

[Jeff Oskay]

I was in tune.

[Pat Godwin]

The notes were good.

[Al Jackson]

Mostly you're singing, Pat, I want you to shut them up. They've been talking a little bit. I want. I want you to show them who Pat Godwin is. Right now I got nothing. Okay, something.

[Pat Godwin]

Something robust that the audience can sing along.

[Jeff Oskay]

Would you like.

[Chick McGee]

Colombian authorities looking for two fishermen lost at sea ended up recovering four and a half tons of cocaine in a semi submersible.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

The Colombian navy said they've been conducting a search and rescue operation for the two men in a canoe type boat when they came upon the cocaine estimated at $137 million.

[Jeff Oskay]

You guys ready?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

It's an instrumental.

[Jeff Oskay]

It's an intro.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, God.

[Jeff Oskay]

So we'd like to know you got the cooking.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, we like the new world.

[Jeff Oskay]

You got the cocaine? There's coconut boat, coconut boat maybe coconut boat we'll look the boat over. Coconut, coconut, maybe coconut. Coast guards watching you. When will you learn? Drug boats drag a little in the stern. Tourists found a stash in the Keys. Border patrol makes these waters drug free. There's coke in the hull. So please explain. Someone has to answer for this cocaine.

[Tom Griswold]

We'd like to do it.

[Jeff Oskay]

You got the cocaine?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, we'd like to do it.

[Jeff Oskay]

Al, is that good?

[Al Jackson]

That's really good.

[Jeff Oskay]

You got to cook, do with it.

[Tom Griswold]

So what I like to do away.

[Al Jackson]

You got the. The cocaine.

[Jeff Oskay]

You do better, like nowhere.

[Al Jackson]

You got the cocaine.

[Jeff Oskay]

Coconut, coconut.

[Pat Godwin]

Patty G. Yes, that's right.

[Chick McGee]

Pete, it's become your stairway to heaven.

[Pat Godwin]

Has apparently that I can't help but notice you kind of turned on bedroom. Al.

[Chick McGee]

I like that.

[Al Jackson]

I did. You know what? I. Look, I just love that song.

[Pat Godwin]

I'll just leave it at that.

[Al Jackson]

That I just really, you know, Pat, they were making fun. You were just like, let me pull out my stairway to heaven. And you let them know that there's always cocaine.

[Jeff Oskay]

Let me bring up.

[Al Jackson]

And there is always cocaine on a boat.

[Jeff Oskay]

Let me bring up my.

[Al Jackson]

You might not have access to it, but it's on the boat.

[Jeff Oskay]

It's always on the boat.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, it's always on the boat.

[Jeff Oskay]

You may have to look for harvest on the boat.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, it's there.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Now, Al, you have been. You are currently with a lady friend.

[Al Jackson]

I am.

[Pat Godwin]

How do you describe her? Is she your paramore?

[Al Jackson]

She is, yeah. She's my.

[Josh Arnold]

She's my girl.

[Pat Godwin]

She's your girl. I like that.

[Josh Arnold]

I like that.

[Pat Godwin]

Because it's a complicated world we live in.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

My sister, for example, is a woman of a certain age, as is her, quote, boyfriend. Right. But it seems odd to have someone who could be considered semi elderly. You know, the English language doesn't really have a lot of words, but. So you refer to her as your girl.

[Al Jackson]

My girl or. I do like lady. I like lady. When it comes to old school R B songs like you. Oh, my lady. I like that.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Classy. And it's like. It could. It. It provides, like a lot. You don't have to be married to be somebody's lady.

[Pat Godwin]

And then the stick song lady. And yet there's also a stick song with. They say, come with me last lads.

[Al Jackson]

Oh.

[Pat Godwin]

You ever call your friends your lads?

[Al Jackson]

Never.

[Pat Godwin]

That sounds like you're in newsboys of some sort on stage.

[Al Jackson]

There's something in my head and I can't. We talked about it earlier and I can't stop thinking about it. Going back to orgies.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Or orgies. Once again, you're the only one, I guess, on. On stage that is participated in an orgy.

[Tom Griswold]

When does it go from a three way to an orgy? Where is that?

[Chick McGee]

I think when you have more than three people.

[Tom Griswold]

Right. Is that right?

[Pat Godwin]

Four.

[Tom Griswold]

Is four an orgy?

[Chick McGee]

I don't know.

[Pat Godwin]

I think three would be an orgy.

[Chick McGee]

No, that's a thing.

[Josh Arnold]

I think there have to be at least two couples to be an orgy.

[Al Jackson]

But then it's just two couples. I thought an orgy had to be five or more.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, maybe, Maybe. All right.

[Chick McGee]

That might be right.

[Pat Godwin]

But that's a. That's a lot of thank you notes.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey. Hey, Josh. Tom, when finds himself in an orgy, always sends a thank you note afterwards.

[Josh Arnold]

It's one of the reasons he keeps. Be. Keeps being reinvited.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Then I'm gonna have to call my assistant Amy and say, look, Amy, I got the names of all the people at the rg. We need to write them thank you notes. And do we have any extra hats, you know, like that?

[Tom Griswold]

You should really like, come up with some sort of wild task for Amy that's totally made up and see how far.

[Chick McGee]

You ought to buy Amy her own private island because she's gonna need to go there.

[Pat Godwin]

No, I should probably get her a good lawyer because she's going to kill me. She'll need to have a defense.

[Jeff Oskay]

Jesus.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm sorry, Al. So you're Orgies is the topic.

[Al Jackson]

Yes. When is an orgy officially over? Because it's done for everybody at different times.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, it's kind of like an orgy is kind of like a Monopoly game. It.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Kind of never ending is.

[Tom Griswold]

Never ends. Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Well, at some point you have to go home or rehydrate.

[Tom Griswold]

Right. Right.

[Al Jackson]

But there's.

[Pat Godwin]

I would assume probably if there's a lot of flushing, maybe it's time to go bathe and go.

[Tom Griswold]

I know in my case.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

After the first cycle.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Interest wanes.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Wouldn't you say?

[Pat Godwin]

Perhaps a good nap at a football game.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what I think in orgy ends when somebody turns. Turns the light on.

[Al Jackson]

I think you're right.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

Have you ever been in a strip club and.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

When it closes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

And all the lights come on and you go, my life has to change.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I. I can't keep doing that.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

I can't. You can't stay here. That sort of thing.

[Tom Griswold]

Go home. You can't stay here. Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah. Light does a lot.

[Pat Godwin]

I want to. I want to put a cap on. Helping the ladies here find a husband.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Let's one time just calm down here. This. Because this one is really inappropriate. This is from 1958. Make your home comfortable for your future man. Have large ashtrays and comfortable chairs.

[Chick McGee]

Again, back 1958, that was important.

[Pat Godwin]

But here's one that's really inappropriate. If your mother is fat, tell him you take after your father.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that's just. That's the smart thing.

[Pat Godwin]

If he's. If. If your father is fat to tell him you're adopted.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, geez.

[Pat Godwin]

That is just really mean.

[Josh Arnold]

I remember I went to a Date's house. And her mother was very, very fat.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

And I said, please tell me you take after your father. And she said, I do. And then she showed me her penis.

[Jeff Oskay]

You know, you're a dead ring. Ladies and gentlemen, Josh Arnold.

[Pat Godwin]

Applause break.

[Tom Griswold]

He'll be back. He'll be back.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay. And. Oh boy, that was on the set of that movie. Conclave. Time to move on. We have Christy Lee, Best picture.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, Best picture, Best picture.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know. I think Brutalist is going to beat him out. Nope, we'll see.

[Pat Godwin]

You guys like mermaids?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I like mermaids.

[Tom Griswold]

What is it with you and the mermaids?

[Al Jackson]

That sounds like a question from a creepy uncle.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

I bought you some new outfits.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's a weird segment at Thanksgiving.

[Tom Griswold]

You look. You boys, girls like mermaids. Here, pull my toe.

[Pat Godwin]

That's exactly the problem. I just found this story. I want to read it. Chris, I. I don't have it for you. I'm sorry. It says.

[Chick McGee]

What's new?

[Pat Godwin]

Just, it says women who work as professional mermaids at theme parks and aquariums are saying that they are increasingly besieged by the inappropriate attention by people. Well, they call them. They call them MTs.

[Chick McGee]

What do they expect?

[Tom Griswold]

It's like a Hooters waitress getting upset. What are you looking at?

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Pat Godwin]

32 year old Ms. Stephanie Norman, who performs full time as a mermaid, explains she faces sexual harassment and even stalking.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, that's a problem.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

She quotes a man came up to her and said, I love to watch you swim. You're delicious. Even without any tartar sauce. I'll bet.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, God.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's not a bad line.

[Tom Griswold]

That is an amazingly wonderful line.

[Jeff Oskay]

I like malt vinegar.

[Tom Griswold]

But let me tell you something. That guy knows what he's doing.

[Pat Godwin]

Then he said, then he said to her, real mermaids don't wear tops.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's aggressive.

[Al Jackson]

Look, I'm not trying to seem non progressive, but when you sign up to be a mermaid, you are signing up, up exclusively for and only for merverts.

[Chick McGee]

Al's right.

[Al Jackson]

Because Hooters, yeah, you can say, of course they're going to be guys, but Hooters, they're people bring their kids there. You could go with your girl. The fight is on. Ufc, the games, wings, there's stuff other than the. With, with mermaids, there's only creeps. That's the only space they have is to go. Go there and be creeps. And technically I'm on the creep side of it.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, yeah, I see what you're saying. Because if you are A murvert. You have to be where the mermaids are.

[Chick McGee]

Sure.

[Pat Godwin]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

That's your thing.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, that's the only.

[Josh Arnold]

But I'm sure these women think they're going to be performing for kids and families and stuff. They don't necessarily think they're going to be performing for Murphy, which is my new favorite word.

[Pat Godwin]

I love it. Now, if you're going to be stuck on an island, this the classic island.

[Tom Griswold]

With a deserted desert. Deserted island.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. Would you want a mermaid that was fished from the top up, waist up or waist down?

[Tom Griswold]

That's what I was going to ask. There has to be.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'll go waist down.

[Tom Griswold]

There has to be. In a standard mermaid, there has to be some sort of orifice.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

On the southern part. There has to be.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm going waist down, too.

[Pat Godwin]

Don't you want.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, waist down.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. You want the fish from the waist?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you can.

[Pat Godwin]

Because they're used. Kind of used to that anyway.

[Tom Griswold]

You can always put some bat in the upper. Upper deck. That's fine.

[Chick McGee]

Nice. Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Wait, you're saying you want fish from the waist down?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, that's the classic.

[Josh Arnold]

Because I want to be able to if I'm talking to her. Because, look, it's not all about sex on a desert island.

[Jeff Oskay]

You have about communication.

[Pat Godwin]

You have to eat.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't want to watch a giant fish head eat.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's just under the table. You don't even see that.

[Tom Griswold]

You know what? And Josh.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah? I like.

[Tom Griswold]

I like a nice kiss every now and then.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't want to kiss a fish.

[Al Jackson]

Fish face.

[Jeff Oskay]

No. I want to make out with a face.

[Tom Griswold]

I have.

[Josh Arnold]

I have French to bass and it's not that great.

[Pat Godwin]

Have you ever. You ever.

[Tom Griswold]

I think push comes to shove, I could have sex with the bottom part of a fish.

[Pat Godwin]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

But I wouldn't want to. I'd like to get some fish on the mouth.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Pat Godwin]

No way. You ever just like kissing like half a can of sardines and. Ah, that's what she's like.

[Chick McGee]

I. I'm sorry.

[Jeff Oskay]

I love sardines.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you hear that, Tom?

[Chick McGee]

Yes. Oh, he's so proud of me.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm trying to make you realize what it would be like to.

[Josh Arnold]

But what would you choose?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, you may have a good point because you could speak.

[Jeff Oskay]

Answer the question.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

You guys are crazy.

[Josh Arnold]

If I'm getting a Finn job, I want to look at a pretty face.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you.

[Al Jackson]

Close your eyes and imagine whatever you want. I don't want to look at. Get any part. Fish so I'm going to close my eyes anyway. So I want the body to be dope.

[Chick McGee]

Close your eyes, fish head.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, I want a human body waist.

[Josh Arnold]

Up, so you're not. There are no boobs either. It's all fish.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, but what's going.

[Chick McGee]

What's southern to the southern at the waist down?

[Pat Godwin]

Just these giant gill.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, you know, gills.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, you got gills now we both.

[Tom Griswold]

And you know, the standard mermaid is, you know that fin on the bottom. It's going to knock stuff off your end table and everything. It's going to be a mess.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah. We all saw splash.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, all right. So, Christy, how about you a merman?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I would. I would definitely go fish bottom. Fish, waist down. Yeah, yeah, I see the abs.

[Tom Griswold]

What if. Then he would not have a pee pee.

[Chick McGee]

He's got a mouth, doesn't he?

[Pat Godwin]

It's not like it's going to change.

[Jeff Oskay]

The O. I'm going to need a little fish head tonight.

[Al Jackson]

That was the most gangster thing Christie ever said.

[Pat Godwin]

And again, it's.

[Tom Griswold]

Anybody want any fish head?

[Josh Arnold]

I instinctively turned my hat around.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

And once again, it's not going to change the embarrassed blushing, everybody.

[Tom Griswold]

Christy's blushing.

[Pat Godwin]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Ah.

[Pat Godwin]

Now, after this, we all may need a little bit of therapy. Yeah, that's, of course, that's where our friends come in. At Better Help, the Bob and Tom show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it is.

[Pat Godwin]

It's all about accessing therapy in a much more elegant way, in an easier way. If you've been thinking about therapy and it might be too awkward to go sit in a room with a therapist and you're nervous about it this way. The therapy is done online. You fill out a questionnaire online. You'll be matched with one of some 30,000 plus therapists. And more than 5 million people are participating in this particular program. It's called BetterHelp. And the way it works is the therapy is done online so you can do it like it's a zoom call so you can see the therapist. You can do it like a phone call if you don't want to be looking at anybody, or you can do it texting back and forth if that's the way you want to do it. It's all about flexibility. Find out all the information by going to betterhelp.com btshow. The btshow part will get you 10% off your first month. If you've been thinking about therapy, this is a great way to try it and give yourself a little bit of a break. Find out what's going on. Start feeling better about things. Betterhelp.com btshow that's betterhelp. H E L P betterhelp.com btshow this portion of the Bob and Tom show is brought to you by BetterHelp. We've got a lot of cool stuff coming up, including a little surprise. I'm not going to tell you what it is. You'll find out. I'll remind you that we do have a cool T shirt in honor of our broadcast today that will benefit the Stead Family Hospital right here in Iowa, which is super cool. So please be part of it. Go online, you can buy the shirts there. And we have a bunch of them up obviously right here at the Riverside Casino and Golf Resort. We are in the Mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Mark]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Catch any part of the show show you missed later Today on our YouTube channel.

[Tom Griswold]

We're back. We are in Riverside, Iowa at the beautiful Riverside Casino and Golf Resort. Bob and Tom live. Hello, Tom. All right.

[Pat Godwin]

It's great to be here in the mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee at the Silac insurance news desk.

[Chick McGee]

Hi.

[Pat Godwin]

You say annuity, I say annuity. We've just been learning about mermaids and mermen. Got a letter from, from a mermaid. Dear Bob and Tom, the worst part about sex with a mermaid is the crabs.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, sure.

[Pat Godwin]

And then, yeah, mermaids private areas smell like the land.

[Josh Arnold]

Why do they call it the land, Tom?

[Pat Godwin]

Because it's near to see. Oh boy. I'm sorry about that. Let's just move forward here. We have Pat Godwin here with us. We got a big show tonight with Patty G, Josh Jeff on Osuke, yours truly, Chick McGee.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey.

[Pat Godwin]

And Al Jackson, who's right there, comedian Al Jackson, veteran stand up comedian, former school teacher and a former television guy in Europe on the BBC. Television guy, kids show host.

[Chick McGee]

And is he gonna learn you some new words today?

[Pat Godwin]

Perhaps. And Al is also going to be on stage stage Saturday night at the Jukebox Comedy Club. It'll be two shows on Saturday, but he'll be here tonight in Iowa.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Now what, what do we have going on Al over there? You got, you got, you got your, got your DJ rig. Wait a minute. Is, is Al's mic working?

[Al Jackson]

All right? Yeah, I was, you know that, that last song, uh, it's called uh, the Hip Hop Lounge.

[Chick McGee]

I like on the Death.

[Al Jackson]

Death Star.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Because I feel like the death Star first of all, there were some black Star troopers.

[Pat Godwin]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

There had a Storm. Stormtrooper.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah. There had to be a lounge that they hung out in. There had to be a black lounge on the Star. On the Death Star. And that's where.

[Pat Godwin]

So is. Is the cafeteria on a starship like it is in high school, where all the black dudes are over there and.

[Josh Arnold]

The white people are maybe your high school.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Al Jackson]

Tom just calls that the good old days.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Kings separated.

[Josh Arnold]

He asked it like we all experienced, right?

[Chick McGee]

Exactly.

[Al Jackson]

Boy, Tom's like, we can go back there. I'm just.

[Josh Arnold]

No, I'm just noodling here.

[Al Jackson]

I'm just throwing stuff against the wall, you know? Yeah, no, it's my. My high school was every. It was more like whether you played sports or not, that was like. I. I think how a lot of high schools break down is like what you're into. Which if you think about how life works, is kind of what happens eventually.

[Chick McGee]

Band people with the band people, the soccer people.

[Tom Griswold]

Football team called a band.

[Pat Godwin]

Freaks.

[Chick McGee]

Did they.

[Tom Griswold]

That's what we said.

[Jeff Oskay]

Theater folks stuck together, right?

[Chick McGee]

Yes, they did.

[Pat Godwin]

Now, Al, do you have a favorite blaxploitation movie?

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, it was almost a parody of blaxploitation movies, but I'm gonna get you, sucker.

[Josh Arnold]

Real funny.

[Al Jackson]

Was it? It had so many just like famous black actors. Actors. And it was really just like. Almost like it put a. A cap on that period. But it was. It was funny and kind of stupid, but at the same time it said something about black cinema.

[Josh Arnold]

That was Keenan Wayne's before In Living Color, wasn't it?

[Al Jackson]

Yes. And just like listening to the. They talked about that movie. They shot that movie with no permits in la, so they were just running around shooting scenes and then fleeing the scene before there was arrested. So, I mean, it's really. It's like the way. It's almost like the Wild, Wild west before everything became.

[Pat Godwin]

What's it called again?

[Al Jackson]

I'm going to get you, sucker.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm going to get you, sucker.

[Josh Arnold]

Get and git.

[Al Jackson]

I get.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes, I'm going to get you, sucker.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, there you go.

[Pat Godwin]

I'll have to watch.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, try it again.

[Josh Arnold]

It's really funny.

[Al Jackson]

I don't think you can watch it before you can say it.

[Chick McGee]

Put a.

[Tom Griswold]

Put a little more. Put a little more stank on it.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I'm going to get you, sucker.

[Jeff Oskay]

More stink, not less.

[Tom Griswold]

That's pretty good.

[Al Jackson]

You're just like. You're getting very weird at the end of it. Yeah, you're Starting good. And then at the end.

[Tom Griswold]

Sucker.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm gonna get you, sucker.

[Josh Arnold]

That was pretty good.

[Chick McGee]

That was pretty good.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Leave it at that.

[Pat Godwin]

You always get that debate, you know, Ginger vs. Marianne, referencing Gilligan's Island. God, I like to do Shaft, the classic, wouldn't you say?

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Pat Godwin]

Superfly and Superfly.

[Al Jackson]

Oh.

[Pat Godwin]

But I always. To me, the best soundtrack is Trouble Man.

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Pat Godwin]

Marvin Gaye. No.

[Tom Griswold]

The best soundtrack, Superfly.

[Chick McGee]

Superfly.

[Pat Godwin]

Curtis Mayfield.

[Al Jackson]

I. I think Superfly soundtrack show people that there's. There's points where the soundtrack can really overshadow the movie to the point where very few people talk about the movie. Most people talk about the soundtrack.

[Chick McGee]

Everybody has the album.

[Pat Godwin]

But you know what bothered me about it? That era, if you're of a certain age, the song Freddy's Dead. That's a spoiler alert.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. You know, he's dead.

[Pat Godwin]

You go to the movie while Freddy's dead. I've been hearing the song on the radio for two weeks.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, Chick, what's your favorite Black Sports Nation movie?

[Pat Godwin]

What is it?

[Al Jackson]

Well, Chick, you are.

[Tom Griswold]

You're one of us, 3%. What is it?

[Al Jackson]

Cameroonian.

[Tom Griswold]

Cameroonian.

[Al Jackson]

How do I know?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, Camaron Room.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's the name just comes out of you.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't have my. My favorite movie of that genre, Black Gun Black with Jim Brown and Martin Landau.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, how'd you miss that one?

[Pat Godwin]

I might miss that.

[Al Jackson]

What's the premise of that movie? I'm. I have to know.

[Tom Griswold]

Life is good for Jim Brown. Not only does he live in a nice LA mansion with his beautiful girlfriend, Brenda Sykes, he also converted it into one of the most happening clubs in the city.

[Josh Arnold]

Is that right?

[Tom Griswold]

But life isn't as good for his little brother, Scotty.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

A troubled Vietnam vet involved with a group of black militants. When Scotty and the radicals rob a gambling parlor owned by the mob, the gangsters strike back. And Scotty, well, has to ask big brother Black Gun for help.

[Pat Godwin]

Number 32.

[Al Jackson]

Well, that's the best big brother to have, is the black gun one.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

When Italian gangsters want to kill you, you're like, do I ask my brother Josh, or do I ask big brother Black Gun? Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

You're gonna go for it. Yeah. A time now to check in with our news lady. She's Christy Lee.

[Chick McGee]

Speaking of arrests, a rare 120-year-old police docket from Casper, Wyoming, reveals some of the things people got put up for over a century ago or were fined for Arrested. The dockets include daily incidents, arrests and other activities. Some include Reckless horse riding. Oh, with a four dollar fine.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Which converts to about $142.

[Al Jackson]

I bet you that was a lot in the 18.

[Chick McGee]

Sure. Four bucks. And keeping a house of prostitution. That would cost you a hundred dollar fine. That's over $3,500.

[Tom Griswold]

How much was the blowy back then?

[Chick McGee]

I don't know. Quarter, $0.05?

[Tom Griswold]

Quarter.

[Jeff Oskay]

Probably a nickel. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Two chickens.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, what I'm doing is I how I cornered the market is I, I.

[Pat Godwin]

A nickel a blow is.

[Tom Griswold]

It's about volume, Chris.

[Pat Godwin]

Volume. Is the reckless horse on the menu at the house of prostitution? It sounds like a sex move.

[Al Jackson]

It really does. It sounds like a strange strip club.

[Chick McGee]

The reckless horse.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

You want to go to the Spearmint Rhino? No, no.

[Al Jackson]

Reckless.

[Pat Godwin]

Do they make a. A saddle with a cup holder? Any horse people here?

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, the issue is that it would spill.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. You'd have to have a top on it.

[Tom Griswold]

No matter how securely you and you.

[Jeff Oskay]

Do the steeple chase, you're gonna lose some fluid.

[Chick McGee]

Jump, jump. It's gonna go.

[Pat Godwin]

Everyone's running around with those. The. These so called Stanley's. Do you have a Stanley at your house, Al?

[Al Jackson]

I do not have a Stanley.

[Pat Godwin]

You have kids though?

[Al Jackson]

Yes, my. My youngest son, he has a Spike Lee. He was into the stand.

[Pat Godwin]

I like that joke very much. A handful of folks out there enjoyed it with me.

[Al Jackson]

I dug it.

[Tom Griswold]

I liked it. Yeah, well, it was a crazy those especially Spike Lee joint. No. Yeah, that doesn't help either.

[Al Jackson]

Tom. Favorite Spike Lee movie Go.

[Tom Griswold]

He can't name one.

[Al Jackson]

You have to be able to name one.

[Pat Godwin]

You know, I can't watch do the right Thing.

[Tom Griswold]

There you go.

[Al Jackson]

All right.

[Pat Godwin]

Very cool.

[Tom Griswold]

That's gonna be second.

[Chick McGee]

What's the first one?

[Tom Griswold]

Malcolm X, man.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, I like do the right Thing too, but they could have turned the radio down.

[Tom Griswold]

Right?

[Josh Arnold]

I think if they adjust her the.

[Al Jackson]

Radio, the cool thing would do the right thing is it's. It's not completely. What I loved about that movie is it wasn't just the black people were right and the Italian folks were wrong. There was a thing where they were like, why don't you have black people in your move in your pizza parlor? And. And Danielle was like, this is my pizza parlor.

[Tom Griswold]

I have.

[Al Jackson]

And I could see both sides.

[Josh Arnold]

I thought it was like that's why it's so good.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, it's really like.

[Pat Godwin]

It's a.

[Al Jackson]

It's a well done movie. Mine was his. One of his first ones. Ones that she's gotta have it. Not a lot of people saw it. It's in black and white. It's almost like a student film.

[Josh Arnold]

Baby, baby, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Al Jackson]

It's like such. It's got a we. He. Spike Lee plays this weird kind of character. And I, I don't know. That's exactly what.

[Josh Arnold]

I love that movie.

[Al Jackson]

You have to watch the movie. Everybody's looking at us in stunned silence. I didn't see this being a big she's gotta have it crowd.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

But they're the best. The best thing about the 80s, and I will say this about all the movies we were talking about Mannequin and Splash Off. Right. They were still random. And, like, everything wasn't a Marvel movie. And it was just like a weird movie about a woman that can't get out of the water. Like, who walked in and pitched alf.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Like, walked into an executive's office. Like, there's an alien from melmac living in. He eats cats.

[Pat Godwin]

I love that. I love that show.

[Al Jackson]

Random.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. Coming up, we're going to check in with news we may have missed with news we failed to mention with Mr. Jeff, Oscar comedian who will be joining us also on stage tonight at the Riverside Casino and Golf Resort. We are in the Mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Mark]

Just got to get a hold of us. Call, fax, mail or email. Get all the contact information, information you [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, welcome back to Riverside, Iowa. It's the Bob and Tom show at the Riverside Casino and Golf Resort with many, many fine Iowans here this morning. Right.

[Pat Godwin]

And a big crowd.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

We're calling it the mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios with Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance News Desk. Hi there. Hello, Christy. Comedian Al Jackson is also functioning as our DJ this morning.

[Al Jackson]

The ones is the twos. Yes, sir.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. Is that, is that commonplace? The ones and twos, Al?

[Tom Griswold]

I think it's kind of unhip now, isn't it?

[Al Jackson]

I think you can call it the ones and twos. As long as you got a turntable in front of you, you're good to go.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. All right.

[Pat Godwin]

Was that a phrase that you would still use, the ones and twos?

[Al Jackson]

I think it's more like classic hip hop, but I'm old, so. Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay. Now you, you mentioned that when you referencing your lady friend, you refer to her as your girl.

[Al Jackson]

My lady, my babe, my boo.

[Pat Godwin]

Now, if, if, if you're talking to, if you're talking to your mother, Would you say, hey, we're going to be coming to town, I'll be bringing the Mrs.

[Chick McGee]

The Mrs. Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Formality. Like when you got to that point in your relationship, you're like, oh, this is my lady. It's my girl. I'm bringing her. She knows.

[Tom Griswold]

Huh?

[Chick McGee]

Well, your mom just got married recently.

[Al Jackson]

She did? To Montez.

[Chick McGee]

Yes. Cool.

[Pat Godwin]

But you would reference her as the Mrs. Yeah. That seems kind of old fashioned. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I think a lawyer could take that. And they're common law. You might be. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

I think in Colorado. I already. Colorado has a lot of, like, very, like, old West.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, really?

[Al Jackson]

Yeah. I think, like, the common law in Colorado is like a couple months. Yeah. It's like, wow. Yeah. I learned that the hard way. Oh, wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, I remember.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that's the empty apartment.

[Angie Burnett]

Yes.

[Al Jackson]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

She took the ceiling fan.

[Al Jackson]

She literally took the ceiling fan. Yeah, I swear. Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that.

[Pat Godwin]

And are you sure you didn't do anything?

[Al Jackson]

I promise, bro. I promise.

[Jeff Oskay]

We always do something. What'd you do? What'd you do, Al?

[Al Jackson]

You know, like, we've all been with somebody where you're like, I don't think that they're processing things completely, you know, that's a nice way to say, like, we've all. I think we've all been crazy in relationships and we've all been with somebody that's lost their mind. And I watched somebody, like, lose their mind during the pandemic, and I was like, I don't know how to get out of this and there's no playbook. And so I just ran and that worked. But then she stole my ceiling fans. So life is about trade offs. People deal with it.

[Pat Godwin]

What a weird. So she had to get up on a ladder and undo the.

[Chick McGee]

She had to hire somebody to do that.

[Jeff Oskay]

I would say she got in her broom. Right?

[Al Jackson]

You know what I. You know what I think she did?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, sniper. The sniper. They know you.

[Al Jackson]

I told you I believe in you, bro. Honestly, I think she went on Facebook, Marketplace, and did the like, if you can carry it, you can have it. Because I didn't realize till, like three months later she stole my heavy bag. And that had like 60 pounds of cement in it. Like, Like, I know.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

I think she just hired dudes, like, if you can carry. And just, like, have people going through my house like an open house. But as long as she's not in there, life is good people. Whoa. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. That's very nice.

[Al Jackson]

Tom said, that's very nice. Moving on. Thanks for listening, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

She's a true friend.

[Pat Godwin]

No, it's nice that Al.

[Al Jackson]

For you.

[Pat Godwin]

It's nice that Al.

[Tom Griswold]

That's good to hear.

[Pat Godwin]

It's nice that Al is now. He became a free man.

[Al Jackson]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Found the right woman and immediately got into another relationship.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's a smart move.

[Chick McGee]

That's what Al does.

[Al Jackson]

You know what I. You know what I realized? And I am. I told you. I think this is a result of being with around women on my panel for so many years. One of my hosts taught me, like, life is like water. So you can't say, well, I just had a bad relationship, so the next one's going to be bad. It's totally random. So I was just like, yo, I had a bad girl who knows about this one, and she ended up being real dope.

[Pat Godwin]

So how did you keep your heart open? I'm hip to the real dope thing.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, have you ever had the real dope?

[Pat Godwin]

He's not suggesting that she was. You know.

[Tom Griswold]

There'S a big difference between the real dope and the fake dope, I'll tell you that.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, there is. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Fake stuff.

[Pat Godwin]

Is. Is marijuana legal in Iowa?

[Tom Griswold]

Would you like some?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, certainly. Smell a lot of it in the elevator.

[Chick McGee]

Well, we went through Illinois.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Apparently a lot of people. Yeah. Brought it over.

[Tom Griswold]

Haven't you heard that I owe a lot pot to Iowa Pot? You've never heard that?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Very, very. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Very good. Well, are we going to have our special guest at this point?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know where Jason is. At some point, we're gonna have.

[Chick McGee]

There he is.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, there we go. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Jeff Oskay joins us. Jeffrey, good to see you. Jeff.

[Angie Burnett]

Hey, thanks for having me, Iowa. Bob and Tom, welcome. I'm Jeff Hoskay. We give you a lot of the news. We don't give you all the news. So I'm here to give you the news that we failed to mention. Did you see this?

[Chick McGee]

What? Play along.

[Pat Godwin]

Did you see this?

[Tom Griswold]

Did you notice this? Did you read this?

[Angie Burnett]

Kadova is launching new chip pants that have bags of Kadoba chips hanging from them.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yes.

[Angie Burnett]

Well, you failed to mention I've chipped my pants before, but that was after eating at Taco Bell.

[Tom Griswold]

You ever chip your pants, Tom?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, Joe, I have chipped my pants.

[Tom Griswold]

What was that?

[Jeff Oskay]

Put money in the Accenture.

[Pat Godwin]

That's the Taco Bell dog talking. Taco Bell dog is from Mexico.

[Angie Burnett]

A couple was arrested after fornicating on the sidewalk in front of a Wendy's.

[Tom Griswold]

Yep.

[Angie Burnett]

Well, you failed to Mention.

[Pat Godwin]

Quick.

[Angie Burnett]

Wendy, cover your eyes with your pigtails.

[Al Jackson]

I can't. I'm pulling them.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh. You ever pull a pigtail? Yeah. All right, all right.

[Angie Burnett]

A plane. A plane crashed upon landing and flipped upside down. All 80 passengers survived, but 18 had to go to the hospital.

[Pat Godwin]

What?

[Angie Burnett]

You failed to mention. I think we know which 18 people didn't have their phones on air. Airplane mode.

[Pat Godwin]

Too soon.

[Al Jackson]

Too soon.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's a big deal.

[Angie Burnett]

How about this? But you failed to mention. Obviously, 18 people for. Failed to put their tray tables up.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Angie Burnett]

Okay. Screw it.

[Al Jackson]

Next.

[Angie Burnett]

New legislation here in Iowa has been put forth making it illegal to pet a shark after a lady had her hand pit off at the Blue Zoo Aquarium. Did you guys see that? What? You failed to mention. Don't worry, Iowans. The French of flounder exhibit. Still.

[Josh Arnold]

Still.

[Angie Burnett]

And still work.

[Chick McGee]

French of flounder.

[Angie Burnett]

You don't have that at your zy.

[Al Jackson]

No.

[Pat Godwin]

All right.

[Angie Burnett]

Oh, there's a new spa treatment where women are getting salmon sperm facials.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Angie Burnett]

What? You failed to mention. Thus making all the other fish in the sea very, very jealous. And a few husbands.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, what's wrong with our sperm?

[Angie Burnett]

And finally, there's a new medical procedure for ladies called labia puffing.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Angie Burnett]

Labia puffing.

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Angie Burnett]

You failed to mention. How exciting. Ladies, now you can turn that camel toe of yours into a moose knuckle overnight. I've been Jeff Askay. This has been the news today.

[Pat Godwin]

Labia puffing.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

We talked about the way he said it, too.

[Chick McGee]

Labia puffing.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. As opposed to huffing, which would be.

[Tom Griswold]

I. I get the feeling we're going back to some sort of odor. That's what I thought.

[Pat Godwin]

Christy Lee is at the Silence Insurance news desk. Do we have time for one more story?

[Chick McGee]

Models and artists are in an uproar after an East London community center banned nudity from a life drawing class. Art teacher Tony Swan was asked to reschedule his daytime life drawing class at the Hampstead Community center to the evening or clothe the models as it was being held between two children's sessions.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, then, yes, Tony. Tony Swan, huh?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

He was forced to move to a new venue after neither option proved popular with participants. By the way, he told the Sunday Times, quote, the class has been running for 30 years. And in that time, no children have been outraged, no parents have been outraged. I don't know the problem.

[Al Jackson]

Well, I think I'm on Mr. Swan's side on this time.

[Josh Arnold]

Really?

[Al Jackson]

Yes, absolutely.

[Chick McGee]

It's an art class.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

But it's between grown naked people.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, but you don't want it between finger painting and, you know, hip hop dancing class for the kids.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Al Jackson]

Look, those kids are about to enter the world. They need to know what's going on. Sometimes people are painting some naked dudes in the middle of the day. That's right. I feel like you can just accept that. You'll be. Kids are sponges. They absorb and accept the world as we give it to them and stop curating the world. And I think these kids would be like, hey, sometimes you're gonna get some.

[Pat Godwin]

Perv walking up to one of them going, you want to trace my genitals?

[Al Jackson]

I don't know if that. Oh, this part of the art class package.

[Tom Griswold]

But this is what? Stunned silence.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

I heard some audible gasps.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. You want to trace my genitals.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm just saying it's not appropriate for this class to be held there.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no. More live models Illustrate how bad it is.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Live food bottles. Perhaps dead nude models would be better.

[Chick McGee]

Did you ever have to take a class like that where you had to draw someone?

[Pat Godwin]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Or did anybody ever model for one?

[Al Jackson]

I've never.

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Al Jackson]

I did have a discussion with a friend of mine. Have you ever been to an event where they're trying to be fancy and artistic and they're naked people with leaves on them and the food is on top of them? Have you ever been to one of them?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, I went to this, like, rich guys, like, art opening.

[Tom Griswold]

And was this at Diddy's?

[Al Jackson]

This was not. I wanted to talk to her.

[Tom Griswold]

It's okay.

[Al Jackson]

Not according to. It's not okay.

[Chick McGee]

Did you eat food off of people?

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, it's sushi.

[Chick McGee]

No, it isn't.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, actually, it was a hot dog, but after the sun came out on Linda, everything tasted like.

[Al Jackson]

This was not. This was not my jam. But it just. They were trying to be very artistic and, like, have people. It was like a woman with leaves on her.

[Pat Godwin]

Do you say something to her?

[Al Jackson]

I wanted to, but I don't think they were allowed to say anything. I think they're like. You know those people on the street that, like, look like Superman but they're frozen. She wasn't allowed to talk, but I wanted to be like, who booked this?

[Tom Griswold]

I've seen the. I. I wouldn't have any, like, with a fruit tray or something. I think I would be okay.

[Pat Godwin]

No, it's so dehumanized.

[Tom Griswold]

That would be fun.

[Jeff Oskay]

Maybe some grapes.

[Al Jackson]

I think it wasn't. It was. It was more like they Were trying to be artistic, but it just missed Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

This is the same thing as like a dwarf toss. The dwarfs are working, they're making money. These women who are naked, they have. You can eat off the top, but they're making money.

[Pat Godwin]

Now do you draw the line at naked dwarfs? I guess it would have to be a smaller party.

[Al Jackson]

I like that that was.

[Tom Griswold]

Or a smaller meal.

[Al Jackson]

I think obviously that was Chick's reason for like why it should be. But it's like. It's like the dwarf toss though. We shouldn't bring that up. That's horrible. Right? That was his like go to of as to why this should be up any dwarf.

[Pat Godwin]

They're upset about those being outlawed again. Dehumanizing. It's awful.

[Chick McGee]

You know, we have to.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay, I'm sorry.

[Josh Arnold]

I can't wait to leave.

[Pat Godwin]

We have a good show coming up tonight on stage right here.

[Tom Griswold]

Not like now. Tonight's show's gonna be good.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay. Okay. Now what's happening over there?

[Tom Griswold]

Simply safe is traditional security systems only take action from someone after they've already broken into your house. And that is way too late. Simply saves active guard. Outdoor protection can help prevent break ins before they happen. AI powered cameras backed by live professional monitoring agents monitor your property and detect suspicious activity. If somebody's lurking around or acting suspiciously and you know, playing grab ass in the backyard agency and talk to them in real time and they can turn on spotlights, even contact the police all before they have a chance to get inside your home. And that's what it's all about. No long term contracts or cancellation fees. Monitoring plants start around a dollar a day, 60 days satisfaction guarantee or your money back. And Simplisafe named best home security system by U.S. news & World Report for five years in a row. And all you have to do is visit simplisafetom.com and claim 50% off. That's half with the professional monitoring plan and your first month free. That's simplisafetom.com There is no safe like Simplisafe.

[Pat Godwin]

Thank you very much, Chick McGee. Coming up, our special audience participation segment. Unrehearsed. This will go off the rails. I guarantee it. There's. There's no way this is gonna work.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't even have a script and I'm in it, so.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, me neither. This. I have no hope.

[Jeff Oskay]

I have a song. I don't know the chords.

[Tom Griswold]

Exciting.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay. We are once again in the mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. We are at the beautiful Riverside Casino and Golf Resort in Iowa. With a bunch of great Iowa folks here. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We are back in Riverside, Iowa, the Riverside Casino and Golf Resort.

[Pat Godwin]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

With about 300 of our closest friends.

[Pat Godwin]

It's great to be here at the Riverside Casino and Golf Resort in the heart of Iowa. And it's about one degree outside right now.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I got big news.

[Pat Godwin]

What's that?

[Chick McGee]

We're up to three.

[Pat Godwin]

All right.

[Jeff Oskay]

Balmy.

[Pat Godwin]

And as the wind blows across the plains.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

We introduce some special guests. We're going to try this. This may or may not work. By the way, the sounds you're hearing emanating from the rig of comedian Al Jackson, who is also known as the dj. Wait a minute. Don't tell me. I'm going to block you that close.

[Al Jackson]

That sounded like a threat. I may unblock you.

[Pat Godwin]

I may unblock. Yeah, give it a little. Give it a little sauce there. I may. I may. A little stank, as they say.

[Al Jackson]

Sauce stank on it.

[Pat Godwin]

Stank. The same thing. Now we're going to try something that requires audience participation. And I believe we have pulled from the audience lady. Oh, there she is. Okay. This is Angie Burnett.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's hear it for Angie.

[Pat Godwin]

Angie's got a. Oh, a spangly shirt on and a bright red jacket.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Hi, Angie. Hello. It's good to see you. And we're going to get you all fixed up with some headphones, and you're going to be a part of this little skit, if you will. This has never been performed live before, which the audience will soon figure out very quickly. Patty G. Is on the keyboards. You want to give us a sample? You guys hear that?

[Tom Griswold]

You guys hear that?

[Pat Godwin]

Want to make sure? Okay, Very good. Thank you, Pat. Sounds good. And then now, does Al know his part for this? Does Al have his.

[Tom Griswold]

I think so.

[Al Jackson]

Got it, bro.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay, very good, Very good. And then we have a Mike Mark from our staff as a. Hello, Iowa.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, Mark.

[Pat Godwin]

A Mark is the bad guy as a bonus voice. And let's meet Angie. Angie, are you an Iowan?

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

But I live in northern Missouri now.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, very good, Very good.

[Christy Lee]

But I grew up in Iowa.

[Al Jackson]

Do you call it no mo?

[Christy Lee]

No, they call me. They call me an Iowa.

[Al Jackson]

No Mo.

[Tom Griswold]

A what?

[Christy Lee]

They call me an Iowan.

[Josh Arnold]

Ah.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay. Do you have any unusual things about your life you'd like to tell us about? Any.

[Christy Lee]

I'm the one that sent in the email with my hot farmer boyfriend tonight.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that's right. Angie, we remember.

[Tom Griswold]

Is your hot farmer Boyfriend here?

[Christy Lee]

No, he couldn't come to that till tonight. He's got chores.

[Tom Griswold]

Farmer plow the field.

[Pat Godwin]

What. What does he grow?

[Christy Lee]

He has a lot of cattle.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, cattle. Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, so he doesn't get a lot of time off.

[Tom Griswold]

Herd of cattle. Like a hundred?

[Christy Lee]

More like two or three hundred.

[Jeff Oskay]

Wow, that's Yellowstone.

[Pat Godwin]

Does he wear cowboy hats?

[Christy Lee]

No, he wears a ball cap.

[Pat Godwin]

Wears a ball cap. Okay, that's fine. I'm just. Does it have a seed company on it? No. You ever. Have you ever had seed on your.

[Josh Arnold]

Sue him, Angie.

[Chick McGee]

Bad hose.

[Josh Arnold]

I want you to sue the balls off so I'm.

[Tom Griswold]

So he can't walk anymore.

[Pat Godwin]

Angie, are you a person that is employed in some. Some field?

[Christy Lee]

In health care.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, good for you.

[Christy Lee]

I've been in health. Worked in health care for over 20 years.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you prescribe?

[Christy Lee]

I am. Was a certified pharmacy tech chick. So I know a lot about drugs.

[Pat Godwin]

Be thrown. Love.

[Tom Griswold]

Exciting and new.

[Christy Lee]

I'm your insurance gal if you have any issues.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay. I'm looking for to a. A Calis Metamucil weekend.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that sounds like fun, doesn't it?

[Pat Godwin]

Really coming in. Going.

[Tom Griswold]

Looking forward to it.

[Pat Godwin]

Is that, is that how you're supposed to take the Cialis? A little bit of Metamucil?

[Tom Griswold]

Looking forward to it.

[Pat Godwin]

Maybe some topical Viagra powder. Now, Angie, you have been chosen to portray someone in this skit. They've told you what your part is? Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I have one more question. Angie, are you drunk? Okay. You're awfully happy.

[Al Jackson]

Some people are just like that.

[Tom Griswold]

My experience. It's my experience this happy you got to be drunk. Okay, go ahead.

[Pat Godwin]

Is your farmer boyfriend listening?

[Christy Lee]

No, I don't think so.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay, so we'll have to get him a tape.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I'll show.

[Pat Godwin]

We can record this. What? May I ask what his first name is?

[Christy Lee]

Darren.

[Pat Godwin]

Farmer Darren.

[Tom Griswold]

Darren number one or Darren number two?

[Chick McGee]

Gotta go with the OG now on.

[Pat Godwin]

These cows that he has. Are these turned into steaks?

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

So that the rule is you don't name them, right?

[Christy Lee]

Not always.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, you name some of them.

[Josh Arnold]

Sometimes the cows you make love to, want to be able to call them something.

[Tom Griswold]

Right? There it is right now. Drunk with one of his cows, telling I can't believe she's on that radio.

[Josh Arnold]

You're such a good listener, Brenda.

[Tom Griswold]

Not like Angie.

[Pat Godwin]

Angie, Angie.

[Christy Lee]

Anyway, there's a reason we eat them.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I'm a big fan. I, I, trust me. Had a nice steak last night. Now, let's move forward here. I believe this starts with Chick McGee. Go ahead, Chick.

[Tom Griswold]

New this season on the Bob and Tom Television Network. Look up in the sky.

[Pat Godwin]

It's my line.

[Chick McGee]

No, it's not.

[Josh Arnold]

Clearly marked.

[Chick McGee]

Mark.

[Jeff Oskay]

Mark.

[Chick McGee]

Mark. It does say Tom on him.

[Pat Godwin]

Crossed it out.

[Josh Arnold]

Let's start over.

[Chick McGee]

Crossed it out. Put your own name on there.

[Jeff Oskay]

You should have been a lawyer.

[Pat Godwin]

God, I did.

[Tom Griswold]

Nobody likes you.

[Pat Godwin]

Nobody.

[Tom Griswold]

You can't.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Jason. Hey, look. Seed on your cap. Start over.

[Chick McGee]

All right, who's gonna do it? Mark or Tom?

[Pat Godwin]

Let.

[Al Jackson]

No, no, no, no.

[Pat Godwin]

Mark. Oh, is. Itis my line.

[Al Jackson]

Go ahead.

[Tom Griswold]

New this season on the Bottom Town Television Network.

[Pat Godwin]

Look up in the sky.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a bird.

[Pat Godwin]

It's a plane.

[Josh Arnold]

It's the biggest set of jugs I've ever seen.

[Jeff Oskay]

It's Shirtless Girl Posing as a topless dancer Showing off her facts. No one knows her secret till she takes off Respects. She's Shirtless Girl She's Shirtless Girl with their special powers she gives the bad guys fits she don't use no gun she stops them with her. Oh, don't say it. She's Shirtless Guy She's Shirtless Girl.

[Tom Griswold]

Working in the chemistry lab one day, sophomore year, nothing seemed amiss. But that night, an amazing transformation took place. And the next morning, young Debbie Abbo woke up to find.

[Christy Lee]

My goodness. I'm huge. I must dedicate these to fighting evil.

[Tom Griswold]

Little did Debbie know that years before on the planet Lactoid, a planet whose gravity was causing it to sag dangerously toward the sun, her father, Major Yaddo and mother Teton sent their infant daughter Areola, rocketing through the Milky Way to Earth, knowing one day she'd become Shirtless Girl, keeping the city of Metopolis sick.

[Mark]

Okay, nobody move.

[Pat Godwin]

Hand over all the money. It's Shirtless Girl.

[Christy Lee]

Not so fast, bad guy.

[Al Jackson]

Oh yeah, like some dame is gonna.

[Christy Lee]

Get a load of these.

[Tom Griswold]

Uh huh.

[Pat Godwin]

I can't run away. Slide whistle.

[Tom Griswold]

I can't even walk that. Thanks, Shirtless Girl.

[Christy Lee]

You're welcome, citizens.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, don't.

[Josh Arnold]

Sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

Along with her fellow superheroines, Wonder Bra Woman, Bikini Spider Woman, the Flash and the green horny Shirtless Girl form the Legion of Super Hooters. That's loud. I love that so much.

[Christy Lee]

Look, it's the cat signal. Some boob must need help. I better call my teenage bosom buddy a cup and head to the wet cave.

[Pat Godwin]

I know.

[Christy Lee]

I'll use the hooter scooter.

[Chick McGee]

I told them I could to do that.

[Pat Godwin]

And once again, Shirtless Girl, you kept my.

[Tom Griswold]

I know it says you. You stole it.

[Chick McGee]

He did Not.

[Pat Godwin]

It's okay.

[Josh Arnold]

He's the Mayor now. He's the Mayor.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

And once again, Shirtless Girl.

[Tom Griswold]

There you go.

[Pat Godwin]

You kept Metopolis safe and warm and snug and soft and bouncy and tasty, tasty, tasty.

[Jeff Oskay]

You're improvising now.

[Josh Arnold]

All right, Chicken Shoreline Lickety split.

[Tom Griswold]

Come again next week for another.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no, not yet.

[Pat Godwin]

Defeating our common enemy, the Jiggler. We are grateful. Thank you, Shirtless Girl.

[Al Jackson]

Yay.

[Christy Lee]

You're welcome, citizen. Don't touch those.

[Josh Arnold]

Sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

Come again next week for another titillating adventure of Shirtless Girl.

[Jeff Oskay]

Shirtless Girl is on next week. You can watch her here if you're watching somewhere else. You must be a queer. Shirtless. You see, in my script, you're not supposed to say.

[Josh Arnold]

We weren't supposed to say queer.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you hear? Nothing wrong.

[Josh Arnold]

Why would you say queer when we weren't supposed to say it?

[Tom Griswold]

Did you hear, Tom?

[Pat Godwin]

I think there are queer people that like Shirtless Girls.

[Tom Griswold]

I said. Said.

[Pat Godwin]

It's okay with me.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you hear, Tom, when I said Shirtless Girl? He jumped right in.

[Pat Godwin]

Shirtless Girl.

[Jeff Oskay]

Shirtless Girl.

[Tom Griswold]

Shirtless Girl. Only on the Bob and Tom Television Network.

[Pat Godwin]

And for those listening on the radio. For those listening on the radio. And you, Angie, did the open coat flash for Darren? Thank you.

[Jeff Oskay]

What a train wreck.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

We knew that was gonna happen. Pass.

[Pat Godwin]

That was good, Angie.

[Josh Arnold]

Thank you. To you and your boobs.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, you're welcome.

[Josh Arnold]

We certainly appreciate it.

[Pat Godwin]

So, Angie, do you work at a pharmacy?

[Christy Lee]

No, I work at a clinic. Clinic?

[Pat Godwin]

A clinic.

[Josh Arnold]

I need you to check out. It burns a little.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Are you familiar with a shanker?

[Jeff Oskay]

What kind of clinic?

[Christy Lee]

It's for mental health.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'll see you.

[Pat Godwin]

You came to the right place. I hope you brought a van.

[Tom Griswold]

Good Lord. There's not a judge alive that would say no. This guy should be. You have to take them way to the hospital.

[Pat Godwin]

I see. What else is happening in your life? Anything exciting? Is.

[Al Jackson]

Are you.

[Pat Godwin]

Are you and your. Are you and your farmer boyfriend going to get hitched as they say on the ranch?

[Christy Lee]

I doubt it.

[Pat Godwin]

I see whatever you're in.

[Tom Griswold]

You.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, no, I.

[Jeff Oskay]

You love him?

[Christy Lee]

I'm happy just the way it is.

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Pat Godwin]

Good for you.

[Tom Griswold]

If he asked you to marry him, would you.

[Chick McGee]

Wow. Put it on the spot.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm waiting.

[Pat Godwin]

How would you describe him? Is he tall, short, mustache, beard?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, no, he's a big tall man, like 6, 5, 6, 6, 6, 5, 6, 6. He has a nice beard, like Josh Like Josh.

[Jeff Oskay]

How about his. A Johnson? Does he have a nice johnson?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. Is he well pat? Please.

[Jeff Oskay]

You said queer.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Josh said well.

[Pat Godwin]

No, not Jerry said well dicked.

[Tom Griswold]

You didn't say anything to him at all?

[Josh Arnold]

Just want to know if the man is well dick.

[Pat Godwin]

Is that phrase well dicked?

[Jeff Oskay]

It is now.

[Pat Godwin]

I have never heard that. Not only is, I may have created.

[Tom Griswold]

It, but I'm kind of sure we're not supposed to say it.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay.

[Al Jackson]

Oh, I'm definitely sure.

[Pat Godwin]

Let me talk. Let me talk to Al Jackson.

[Josh Arnold]

Well weaned.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, boy, Al.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, are you done with Angie?

[Pat Godwin]

No, she can my part. Want to participate in this in your sphere, Al?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, in other words, you're black.

[Tom Griswold]

In your blackness, Al.

[Josh Arnold]

You'Re unlike me.

[Pat Godwin]

Al, you're a monster.

[Tom Griswold]

You are really a monster.

[Pat Godwin]

Al speaks a different language than I.

[Jeff Oskay]

Do, you know, it's called English.

[Chick McGee]

Everyone does.

[Pat Godwin]

I mean the racism brat. No, no, I mean, I'm talking about the slang terms that Al is an extra expert in. What is the. Is there a current slang term that one of your ilk would use rather than what?

[Al Jackson]

What is my ilk?

[Chick McGee]

What is wrong with you today?

[Pat Godwin]

I'm saying it's a fair question.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, let me tell you about Raycon.

[Pat Godwin]

And I'm not well dicked. I think is. Is there.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, Raycon's everyday earbuds are the perfect partner.

[Al Jackson]

I wanted to answer the question.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, go ahead, Go ahead, Al.

[Al Jackson]

Wait, what was the question for my ilk?

[Pat Godwin]

Is there a slang term one might use for that region, genitalia wise?

[Al Jackson]

Oh, besides packing?

[Tom Griswold]

Packing?

[Al Jackson]

Oh, I think that would be like the general like. Yeah, he's packing.

[Pat Godwin]

He's packing.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay.

[Jeff Oskay]

Is he.

[Tom Griswold]

He bringing it or was that in the high school? We said that he's bringing the wood. Yeah, well, we just said he's bringing it now.

[Pat Godwin]

So we've established that Darren is tall, bearded and packing. Is that correct?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Now you feel better. And I hope he's hip enough to get the packing thing.

[Tom Griswold]

Does he look like any, like, major television star or a movie star or anything like that?

[Christy Lee]

He sounds like Sam Elliott right there.

[Pat Godwin]

No wonder you love him. Now, is he going to send us some free steaks?

[Tom Griswold]

You got to land that. That fella. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Lock that down.

[Pat Godwin]

Does he get his own steaks?

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Right off the cow.

[Pat Godwin]

He takes him and gets the. Gets the. The cattle rendered. Is that the word they use? And then he. Then you get some free steaks? Yes. Oh, cool.

[Tom Griswold]

She. I'll talk for her. She doesn't want to talk to you anymore.

[Josh Arnold]

Neither does Al.

[Chick McGee]

Neither did any.

[Josh Arnold]

I said, do I?

[Al Jackson]

But Loader does.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm real close to leaving.

[Pat Godwin]

But Al's girls here, as soon as the show's over, he's going to be unpacking. That's.

[Tom Griswold]

That's Raycon earbuds.

[Chick McGee]

Now you could listen to something else.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, like some smooth jazz. Raycon's latest model. Better than ever. 32 hour battery life. You know, they're very cool. Multi point connectivity, two devices at once. Raycon's quick charge function. 10 minutes of charge, 90 minutes of battery. And they also come with active noise cancellation. Hard to find at this price point. Raycon's everyday earbuds, available in swell colors. Blush violet, royal blue, forest green, even limited edition rose gold. Hard to find. And if you don't love them, they offer a 30 day happiness guarantee return policy. So go to buyraycon.com Tom right now. Get up to 20% off site wide. 20% off everything on Raycon's website, including 20% off all headphones too. When you go to buyraycon.come Tom. That's byron.com Tom.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, thank you very much. Let's hear it for Angie Burdette. You did such a good job, Angie. And you have nice teeth.

[Chick McGee]

Oh my God. We'll be back. Cheers.

[Tom Griswold]

Really nice teeth.

[Josh Arnold]

Maybe it should be illegal for you to speak.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, it should be. Keep talking. It will be.

[Pat Godwin]

They're nice and bright. They're not like buckers or anything. Okay. We are in The Movable Portable O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios at the beautiful Riverside Casino and Golf Resort. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Mark]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning even though we're not too much to look at. You can also watch the show on our YouTube channel.

[Tom Griswold]

Welcome back to the Bob and Todd show one more time. We're in Riverside, Iowa at the Riverside Casino and Golf resort with about 400 of our closest Iowans. Hello, Tom. How are you, buddy?

[Pat Godwin]

Hello, Chick McGee. This is the portable O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. Happy to be here with Christy Lee at the SILAC Insurance news desk. And I know Jeff Oskay does the famous feature news we failed to mention. Now, we started off the show today with a news story from the medical field, of course, about the most dangerous and riskiest positions in the world of intimacy. Sex. Yes, I think sexuality. And Al Jackson. Do you want to join us here on the day? It's comedian Al Jackson, ladies and gentlemen. Al will be on stage with us tonight and Then Al will be in Peoria at the famous jukebox comedy club on Saturday evening.

[Al Jackson]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Christy, you mentioned the eager chef.

[Chick McGee]

I did.

[Pat Godwin]

As a position, the so called Swiss ball blitz.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, Swiss ball blitz. We didn't really talk about that one. That was the exercise ball. No, these was involved.

[Tom Griswold]

These are sex moves.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, but they do cause injuries. That's where they.

[Pat Godwin]

Now this. Did you mention the butter churner?

[Chick McGee]

I did not get that far. You go ahead mention that.

[Pat Godwin]

I mean, to me, the butter churner sounds like a solo event.

[Chick McGee]

It does.

[Josh Arnold]

Is this similar. I imagine this is similar to the pile driver.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, what?

[Josh Arnold]

So she is on her kind of upper back with her legs up in the air and then the guy is. So it's.

[Chick McGee]

Please show us.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, okay.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Without. Without going into any detail.

[Al Jackson]

Any detail. He's.

[Chick McGee]

I think he just showed.

[Pat Godwin]

This is. Yeah. That particular move is a troublesome. How about this one? These. The so called po. Pogo stick. Stick.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, the pogo stick. Up and down.

[Pat Godwin]

Really dangerous.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Pogo stick.

[Chick McGee]

Yes. I think you have to hold her up, if you know what I mean.

[Josh Arnold]

That's just missionary. But you have a pogo stick up your.

[Tom Griswold]

That's right. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

That's gonna hurt.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, that's really quite.

[Chick McGee]

Which end is in there?

[Pat Godwin]

You may need some suturing. Why don't we just switch topics and go right to Today in History?

[Chick McGee]

What say?

[Tom Griswold]

Time now for Today in History.

[Chick McGee]

Are you putting clips in your ear again?

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Time now for Today in History. Here's Tom.

[Chick McGee]

I got February 21st.

[Pat Godwin]

21St. I've got a fun fact. And you guys know this because I've mentioned it before. But I want to see if Al Jackson knows this.

[Tom Griswold]

Someone of his ilk would know it of your hue, of your shade.

[Al Jackson]

And that's no shade.

[Tom Griswold]

That's no shade at all.

[Pat Godwin]

You've ever. Have you ever taken Alka Seltzer?

[Al Jackson]

Absolutely. I grew up in a house with an old black dad. That's all that was in there was Alka Seltzer and Pepto. Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Really? Yeah. I have never really. And I've had. I've had headaches. Trust me, I've never taken Alka Seltzer.

[Al Jackson]

I don't take it for headaches. I always took it for like, if you felt.

[Chick McGee]

Felt sick, that was that stomach.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. But this is hungover. An actual fact from the world of advertising.

[Tom Griswold]

Absolute fact. From the world of advertising.

[Pat Godwin]

Alka Seltzer introduced the slogan plop, plop, fizz, fizz. Why?

[Chick McGee]

I know why.

[Tom Griswold]

On on this date, at least.

[Al Jackson]

Yes, because you dropped them in there and that's the sound it makes.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, but there's a reason they did it. Yeah. The company wanted people to use two tablets so they. It would sell more.

[Al Jackson]

That is brilliant. Yeah, absolutely worked. Someone never knew that.

[Tom Griswold]

Some would say devious.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, there's that.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

I've never. You know what? If I just had one Alka Seltzer, I wouldn't use it. I'd be like, I need two. Or. That's the magic combination they got me.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, they have. They have a cold medicine that's very good.

[Al Jackson]

That's what I use. Alkala, Cold and Flu. That's.

[Josh Arnold]

It's really effective if you get it.

[Al Jackson]

Right when you know that time when you're still lying to yourself, when you know you're about to get sick and you're like, I think I'm okay. If you take it right. Then you're good after that. It doesn't really work that well, but right then, shout out.

[Pat Godwin]

Remember, all medical advice from this program is fake and not working.

[Al Jackson]

And from a man in attraction.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay. Happy birthday, Rue McClanahan. You know who that is?

[Chick McGee]

Christine Golden Girls, of course.

[Al Jackson]

One of the sexiest women that's ever been on television. No discussion.

[Tom Griswold]

Nope.

[Al Jackson]

She was like, my first introduction to, like, a sassy, sexy woman like the Blanche Devereaux man. She used to turn me on just because she was so sexual. I was like, oh, look, go get it. Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

She was a horny old bag.

[Al Jackson]

Her and Mona. Remember Mona from who's the Boss? Who's the boss?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, she.

[Chick McGee]

The redhead.

[Tom Griswold]

Mona reminded me of an old silent movie queen.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, I'm with you.

[Tom Griswold]

Was slowly melting.

[Pat Godwin]

Helmet home. Now, Al, around your place when you were growing up.

[Jeff Oskay]

Around your place.

[Al Jackson]

Oh, no.

[Pat Godwin]

Your home when you were growing.

[Tom Griswold]

You, Al, grew up, you know, in.

[Pat Godwin]

An entirely different 2,000 yards neighborhood. 2,000 yards and one set of railroad tracks.

[Al Jackson]

Tom thinks home was like a piece of cardboard where I break dance all the time.

[Pat Godwin]

Alan. I actually grew up very close to one.

[Tom Griswold]

And this is always playing in the background.

[Josh Arnold]

When you were raised, raised by Nell Card, did you.

[Pat Godwin]

Al. Did your father.

[Tom Griswold]

You and Alfonso Rivero, did your father.

[Pat Godwin]

Have any quote unquote, girly magazines hidden anywhere?

[Al Jackson]

No, my dad was not that. You know, we've talked about my dad. My dad famously. Best story ever about my dad hated strip clubs and had to get a contract signed there. He was a lawyer and a stripper tried to sit on his lap, and my dad famously stared at her and goes, no, no. Everybody said it just. And my. I know everybody's like your dad, my dad, that was not his jam. So no, no. Girly magazine now.

[Pat Godwin]

So then my. The corollary to this is, did you. What girly magazines did you acquire?

[Al Jackson]

I found out that a family member had more Playboys in their basements than. Than everybody in this audience has ever owned in their life. That is.

[Josh Arnold]

You've mentioned your grandma before.

[Al Jackson]

Sadly, you're not that far off. So that's why I, that's why I paused because I was like, did I? But yes, I had a family member that just. They collect. They were still in the plastic. They literally collected them.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, wow.

[Al Jackson]

And yeah, they had they. The Vanessa Williams one when she came like, they collected Playboy. So I had access to a lot of them, but I had to find ones that were already open so I could get them in and out.

[Pat Godwin]

Interesting.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Now, are you aware that there was a African American version of Playboy? This is not a joke.

[Al Jackson]

I think maybe from just the corner store because you could just see the name.

[Pat Godwin]

It was called, you know what was called Black Tail.

[Al Jackson]

Can I say that it was called.

[Pat Godwin]

There one called Player.

[Al Jackson]

Oh.

[Pat Godwin]

Which before it became a hip hop up. He's a Player.

[Tom Griswold]

And was it put out by Playboy?

[Pat Godwin]

No, no. But I mean it was a. A nudie magazine. I'm sure they had interviews that was focused. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

To African American.

[Pat Godwin]

It's kind of interesting.

[Al Jackson]

It is.

[Pat Godwin]

I was. And I was just wondering because you talk about getting.

[Josh Arnold]

We are off the air.

[Chick McGee]

We are, by the way. We're way over.

[Tom Griswold]

We were off the air.

[Jeff Oskay]

We're gonna be off the air too.

[Pat Godwin]

I was gonna wish Alan Rickman a happy birthday.

[Chick McGee]

Happy birthday, Alan Rickman.

[Pat Godwin]

What do you mean he's dead?

[Chick McGee]

He is dead.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay, now we want to say hello and goodbye to everybody here. Thanks for coming out to the riverside.

[Tom Griswold]

And Happy Thanksgiving and have a better valentine.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Mark]

For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom show contest rules, go to bob and tom.comcont-rules or just scroll down to the bottom the bottom of the page and see contest rules. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Pat Godwin]

Are you ready for football?

[Josh Arnold]

Let's go.

[Pat Godwin]

Truly ready for football.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Are you screaming for football?

[Josh Arnold]

What the hell is happening?

[Pat Godwin]

Dreaming for football. Good times. Eating, sleeping, crafting, parenting, naming your pets and preparing for football.

[Josh Arnold]

That sort of stuff happened.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, my goodness.

[Pat Godwin]

Are you dancing?

[Mark]

Jonesing.

[Pat Godwin]

Mahomesing for football.

[Josh Arnold]

That's what I'm looking forward to.

[Tom Griswold]

Good.

[Pat Godwin]

Then you are ready for football with the Rich Eisen show podcast.

[Al Jackson]

They're ready.

[Mark]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform.