The BOB & TOM Show - February 23, 2026

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show – February 23, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of The BOB & TOM Show offers listeners the show’s signature blend of comedy, talk, news, and sports. Featuring Tom Griswold, Josh Arnold, Christy Lee, Pat Godwin, Jeff Oskay, and Ace Cosby, the team dives deep into relatable workplace mishaps, the latest Olympic hockey triumphs, travel disruptions, food debates, listener letters, and comedic takes on recent headlines. The guest segment features comedian Mort Burke, adding more levity and insight to an already lively broadcast.

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Key Discussion Points & Segment Highlights

1. Kicking off Monday: Musical Antics & Relatable Blues

• Segment: [00:23 – 03:23]
• Bob Kevoian opens with a parody song about “one of those days” gone awry—spilled coffee, flat tires, grumpy bosses—anchoring the show's comedic tone.
• Song chorus: “It’s a great day for me to whoop somebody’s ass.”
  • "You might get cold-cocked if you cross my path..." – Bob Kevoian
• Josh Arnold: “Ah, that's a good Monday theme, isn't it?” [03:23]
• The crew launches into banter about cold weather, work woes, and eastern blizzard news.

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2. Storms, Airport Chaos & TSA Woes

• Segment: [04:10 – 06:20]
• Christy Lee shares personal travel disruption stories amid the northeast blizzard.
• Discussion about TSA PreCheck and government shutdowns, with Tom venting:
  • "Every time they suspend the government, they should not just suspend the pay of Congress and senators. They should confiscate it." – Tom Griswold [05:36]
• Light ribbing about political consistency before moving into lighter subjects.

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3. Olympic Hockey Fever

• Segment: [06:22 – 08:13 | [48:49]**
• Celebration of USA men’s hockey gold over Canada, drawing passionate reactions and anecdotes from Josh Arnold:
  • “I didn’t sit. I was standing, pacing a few times… full body chills… and then tears.” – Josh Arnold [07:16]
• Listener Heather writes in about Olympic pride.

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4. Blue Laws, Food Laws & Weekend Nostalgia

• Segment: [08:13 – 11:27]
• Panel discusses “blue laws” restricting Sunday sales of alcohol and vehicles, and Jeff Oskay’s discovery that he couldn’t buy booze before noon on Sunday.
• Tom reminisces about growing up with Grocery stores closed on Sundays.
  • “We can’t buy cars on Sunday here. Check local listings.” – Christy Lee [08:47]
• Food-related quirks: pigs-in-a-blanket, gas station gourmet, and Chick-fil-A drive-through tales.

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5. Olympics Tech, TV References & Guest Previews

• Segment: [09:43 – 13:37]
• Applauding NBC’s Olympic coverage tech: drones and rail cameras.
• Obscure TV history: Tom quizzes the room on "Burke’s Law" in anticipation of guest Mort Burke.
  • “The guy was a man of means... but his hobby was being a cop.” – Tom Griswold [10:15]
• Christy Lee’s extensive car history teased ahead of a Hyundai ad.

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6. Daily Quirks: Eating in Bed, Hot Dog Math & Fast Food Hot Takes

• Segment: [17:35 – 26:07]
• Letter from a NY police officer triggers a debate on annual hot dog consumption (from 3 to 110 a year).
  • “[How many hot dogs?] I’d say in my case, maybe a dozen.” – Tom Griswold [18:24]
• Pat Godwin confesses to zero in 2026: “Zero. Not a hot dog this year.” [18:55]
• Comic riff: gas station gastronomy, Raising Cane’s chicken, and the merits of boneless wings.

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7. Slime in the House & Art Supply Challenges

• Segment: [26:07 – 30:10 | [35:29]**
• Tom shares his kids’ “slime” craze and the perils of making it at home. Christy tips using craft store butcher paper for household messes.

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8. Letters: Dogs in Bathrooms & Comedic Mishaps

• Segment: [24:02 – 25:22]
• Listener John writes about dogs “protecting you from predators” in the bathroom.
• Jeff Oskay’s dog gets into green paint; Tom’s epic slime cleanup escalates.

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9. The SWAG Procedure: News of the Weird

• Segment: [11:26 – 14:40 | 67:51 – 75:10]
• What’s SWAG? Tom humorously uncovers it as the “Schaefer Width and Girth” procedure, involving penile fillers.
  • “When they name something after you… you’d want to be named after an artificial procedure to expand penises?” – Tom Griswold [68:45]
• Hilarity ensues as the team debates cost, maintenance (“like buying a condo”), and the peculiar sculpting process.

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10. Food Law Litigation: The “Boneless Wings” Lawsuit

• Segment: [39:41 – 43:32]
• Buffalo Wild Wings taken to court for “boneless wings” being breast meat. Judge rules “reasonable consumers” aren’t fooled.
• Pat Godwin's song parody: “Wings are still wings if the sauce ain’t from Buffalo.” [41:36]
• Compares to Pringles-vs-chip legal precedent.

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11. Listener Letters & Crowd Wisdom

• Segment: [27:36 – 28:33 | 56:15 – 63:27]
• Themes: church band puns, new slang for “swag,” seeking daily entertainment, cognitive puzzles, and even stories of accidental ruined hotel room sinks from hair dyeing.

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12. Cannabis, Cognition & The Munchies

• Segment: [87:14 – 98:35]
• News item: moderate cannabis use linked to some improved brain health – met with skepticism.
  • “Someone who uses the phrase cannabinoid receptors doesn’t smoke pot.” – Tom Griswold [89:36]
• Mr. Obvious News: “Munchies are real.” Study finds beef jerky is the #1 cannabis craving, not chocolate or chips.
  • “Must be that Canadian weed.” – Tom Griswold [98:33]

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13. Guest Interview: Comedian Mort Burke

• Segment: [125:31 – 138:26]
• Plug for new special "There's Beauty In It All" (YouTube).
• Comedic banter on bidet brands, family dysfunction (“my dad gave me an ounce of gold, like a formally abusive pirate!”), and the perils of LA living.
• On personal growth: “It’s a standup special... but also has some emotion, is emotive in a way.” – Mort Burke [128:24]
• Light-hearted quiz about “Burke’s Law.”
• Mort discusses 17 years sober and loving his wife’s laugh.

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14. Armpit Hair Hoax & Food Mishaps

• Segment: [142:53 – 145:42]
• Australian family plants armpit hair in food to avoid paying bill; panel disgusted by the scam.
• Tales from food service: Tom’s story of the infamous “band-aid in the food” and the pain of serving at “the monster” table.
• Pizzeria serves “ancient Roman” pizza with fermented spinach juice and duck nuts. Debate over pizza toppings erupts: BBQ, pineapple, or iguana?

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15. Relationship Milestones & Modern Dating

• Segment: [138:36 – 139:13]
• Teased: how long couples should wait before sex, marriage, buying a house together.

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16. World Records, Historical Trivia, & Daily Life

• Segment: [61:22 – 67:09 | 103:27 – 111:20]
• Maltese chocolatier builds world’s longest chocolate train (181 feet!).
• Tom quizzes cast on W.E.B. Du Bois (correctly pronounced "Du Boys"), Victor Fleming’s “Wizard of Oz” and “Gone with the Wind,” and Phil Collins’ love for Alamo memorabilia.

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17. Dumb Crook & Assault by Pickle Jar

• Segment: [154:49 – 163:14]
• Florida man caught burgling a landscaping van—stuck inside until police arrive (with deadly machete potential).
• Woman hits boyfriend with pickle jar during an argument.
  • “Hitting someone with pickles isn’t code, is it?” – Tom Griswold [162:14]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Government Shutdowns:
  “They should not just suspend the pay of Congress and senators. They should confiscate it.” – Tom Griswold [05:36]

• Olympics Hockey Win:
  “Full body chills... and then tears.” – Josh Arnold [07:29]

• On Penile Fillers:
  “You’re going to feel a small prick. And the patient says, so are you, Doc. That’s why I came here.” – Tom Griswold [73:09]

• On “Boneless Wings” Lawsuit:
  “Wings are still wings if the sauce ain’t from Buffalo.” – Pat Godwin, song lyric [41:36]

• On LA Living:
  “Yeah, I sage my cats. You gotta swallow crystals every day...” – Mort Burke [135:53]

• Ancient Roman Pizza:
  “Duck nuts. Those can’t be easy to get out.” – Josh Arnold [147:11]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Parody song open: 00:23 – 03:23
• Olympic hockey discussion: 06:22 – 08:13 & 48:49 – 53:54
• Boneless wings lawsuit: 39:41 – 43:32
• Penile SWAG procedure: 67:51 – 75:10
• Comedian Mort Burke interview: 125:31 – 138:26
• Mr. Obvious segment: 99:54 – 103:18
• Chocolate train world record: 61:22 – 65:26
• Armpit hair food scam: 142:53 – 145:42

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Overall Tone & Style

True to the BOB & TOM Show’s freewheeling, irreverent tone, this episode features rapid-fire comedy, self-deprecation, goofy puns, news-of-the-weird, and plenty of playful ribbing among friends. The cast’s chemistry shines—especially in digressive tales of parenting, travel, sports, and modern life. The guest segment with Mort Burke blends standup smartness with open, approachable charm. Throughout, callers’ letters and listener interactions keep the episode grounded in the show’s longtime community appeal.

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Summary

This BOB & TOM Show episode is a classic blend of wry humor, relatable life mishaps, trenchant sports banter, weird news, and comedic commentary on America’s everyday absurdities. With notable music moments, memorable one-liners, and a standout guest deep-dive, it’s quintessential listening for fans old and new—proof that mornings are better when they don’t take themselves too seriously.

Transcript

[Tom Griswold]

It's the bob and tom show.

[Bob Kevoian]

Have you ever had one of those days when nothing goes right? Your wife starts bitching bout whatever it was she was bitching about last night? So you escape into the bathroom just to sit there on your throne. But after you finish your business, the toilet paper's gone. Well, it's a great day

[Jeff Oskay]

for me

[Bob Kevoian]

to whoop somebody's ass. It's a bad day so you better get off my back. You might get cold cocked if you cross my path. Cause it's a great day for me to whoop somebody's ass. Well, I was running late for work so I poured me some coffee to go. And just before I had a flat tie, I spilled it all over my clothes. When the highway patrolman pulled up I thought that help was on the way. But when he saw the tire tool in my hand, he shot me with pepper spray. Well, it's a great day for me to whoop somebody ass. It's a bad day so you better get off my back. You might get cold cocked if you cross my path. Cause it's a great day. Y' all can sing it if you want to. For me to whoop somebody's ass. When I finally made it to work, I was 15 minutes late. I told my boss about the flat tire, but he fired me anyway. So here I am out in the parking lot, just waiting by his Corvette. I'm gonna give him a goodbye present that he never will forget. Let's sign it together. Cause it's a great day for me to whoop somebody's ass. It's a bad. So you better get off my back. You might get cold cocked if you cross my path. Cause it's a great day for me to whoop somebody's ass.

[Josh Arnold]

Ah, that's a good Monday theme, isn't it?

[Tom Griswold]

Let's kick some ass.

[Josh Arnold]

Not quite ready for the week. Well, you better be because we're here. That's right, ladies, it's the Bob and Tom Show. There's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

How are you, my dear?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, peachy.

[Josh Arnold]

Pat Godwin over there.

[Pat Godwin]

Hello, Joshy.

[Josh Arnold]

Jeff Oskay.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hey, buddy.

[Josh Arnold]

Chick actually came in this morning, looked at us, went no, thanks, and went home. Yeah, there's Ace Cosby.

[Tom Griswold]

It actually happened.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm Josh Arnold.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I followed him in.

[Josh Arnold]

There's Tom Griswold.

[Tom Griswold]

Can I see my breath or is it freezing?

[Pat Godwin]

It's cold.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, boy.

[Josh Arnold]

I look at you now. You are bundled up.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know what's going on.

[Christy Lee]

It's cold outside. Of you. Love you. Look, check local listings. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And I want to say hello to all of our friends in the east coast. And we'll be talking to you tomorrow. In two feet of snow. What's going on?

[Josh Arnold]

When does that hit?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, it's hitting one to three inches every hour right now.

[Jeff Oskay]

My brother was out in New York visiting my niece who attends college in New York, and he couldn't get a flight back yesterday, so he had to rent a car and drive 12 hours throughout the night to avoid the blizzard.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow.

[Jeff Oskay]

So I hope he. He should be coming in town right about now.

[Tom Griswold]

A lot of flights canceled.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I was at the airport yesterday. It was not a pleasant sight. Yeah, it was. We were trying to get some kids on a plane. It's a long story, but, yeah, it's. It was. It's a mess out there on the northeast coast.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, and I did see that TSA PreCheck is temporarily suspended.

[Christy Lee]

No, they changed her up. They. Yes. And I got to the airport because I had heard about that, and they were running, and he said. And then there was announcement later, about four hours later, that they had prematurely announced that Global entry is suspended. So if you're waiting for your Global Entry interview, you're gonna have to wait a little longer.

[Tom Griswold]

Or if you're having sex with a foreigner.

[Josh Arnold]

I saw that headline. The TSA PreCheck was like, good, good. Let those people come back to the Hoi Po.

[Christy Lee]

You know what I immediately thought? I immediately thought, what are they? Congressman or every. They all are. Precheck.

[Josh Arnold]

That's right. They all got to stand in line.

[Christy Lee]

No, they're not.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, now, see, my point is, every time they suspend the government, they should not just suspend the pay of Congress and senators. They should confiscate it. They should not be getting paid. Whenever they do this BS where they. The government suspending.

[Christy Lee]

They are getting paid, aren't they? The government shut down. They get paid.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, the congressman and the senator, they get paid.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't want to do.

[Tom Griswold]

They shouldn't get it refunded. It should be gone.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, no, that's the first thing that you.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, at times 10. So this BS of we're shutting down the government. I've really had it with this. We have no more consistency anymore. Tariff. No tariff. Tariff. Tariff times 10. No tariff.

[Christy Lee]

Tariff.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, hey.

[Tom Griswold]

Make up your mind.

[Josh Arnold]

We're not that show, all right? We have other things.

[Tom Griswold]

Just make up your mind. I don't care.

[Josh Arnold]

We have other things to talk about, like USA Hockey.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, my gosh. How Exciting. Was that?

[Josh Arnold]

Very exciting.

[Christy Lee]

I even watched it in the car because we couldn't. I mean, it was like, I can't turn this off, Josh.

[Pat Godwin]

I get it now. I get it. That's exciting.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, you also saw one of the greatest games ever in history because. Yeah, you have the best of the best on both teams. So it's. That just doesn't happen.

[Tom Griswold]

One guy will be visiting the dentist today.

[Josh Arnold]

No, he won't. That's a source of pride.

[Tom Griswold]

Dear Bob and Time show writes Heather.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi, Heather.

[Tom Griswold]

I want to reach out and say what an incredible Olympics it's been. The coverage was awesome. Being in the West Coast, I woke up at 4:30am to catch the men's hockey gold medal round. I was so proud of the Olympians. I even cried during the national anthem.

[Josh Arnold]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

I could hear Josh yelling his lungs out during the game.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I was. I didn't sit. I was standing, pacing a few times. A lot of. Yeah. Some yelling.

[Christy Lee]

When they hit that overtime shot, it was like goose hairs.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Full body chills.

[Pat Godwin]

And then.

[Josh Arnold]

And then tears. Yeah. Because. For a few reasons.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

To mention, I imagine alcohol sales early on Sunday morning in several spots were substantially. Which really hasn't happened since the NFL was. They only had a couple of weeks off and now get the booze out. It's a big game early Sunday morning.

[Jeff Oskay]

Did you know you can't buy alcohol until noon on Sunday here?

[Tom Griswold]

Depends where you live.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, here. Right where. Where I live. I found out yesterday at 7:30 in the morning at Meijer that they will not allow you to buy alcohol.

[Christy Lee]

No. It's been that way for a long time.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, really?

[Christy Lee]

Ye. Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'm like, how am I supposed to watch hockey?

[Tom Griswold]

It's interesting because it's different and every state's got their own. Their own ODD rules.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Blue. Because normally during the week, I can buy alcohol coming in in the morning here. It's the only way I make it through my day. But on Sunday, you got to wait till noon.

[Tom Griswold]

When I was growing up, grocery stores couldn't be open on Sundays and they couldn't be open after like 6 o' clock in the evening.

[Josh Arnold]

What? Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Blue laws, they called them. Absolutely that stuff. I remember. I remember when I moved to Florida when I was in my early 20s, I moved to Florida for several years. I could not get over the fact that grocery stores were open at night and on Sundays. Like, what. What's happening here?

[Christy Lee]

Well, there's. We can't buy cars on Sunday here. Check local listings.

[Tom Griswold]

True.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. That's part of. That's a blue law.

[Pat Godwin]

You can't buy a car on a Sunday.

[Jeff Oskay]

No.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, unless you know a guy.

[Mort Burke]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Car lots are closed on Sunday.

[Tom Griswold]

The title may be for legal reasons.

[Christy Lee]

It's a law.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I didn't know it was a law. I thought that was just a choice.

[Jeff Oskay]

That.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. Because you'd have a deal that would be open if.

[Josh Arnold]

Gotcha. Yeah, exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

There'd be, you know. Hi, I'm open on Sunday. No.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

By the way, Heather, thank you for taking the time to write and congratulations. What a great Olympics. The coverage, absolutely amazing.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, well done to all involved.

[Tom Griswold]

Those drones are as cool as can be. Following the skiers and everything else. Just. Just absolutely great.

[Josh Arnold]

Also, have you seen those crazy cameras on the tracks? Like, they're. They're literally on tracks. And zoom.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Zip.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Those things are cool.

[Tom Griswold]

It was just. Just great all around. Now, coming up on the show today will be joined by comedian Mort Burke,

[Josh Arnold]

one of my best buddies.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Mort Burke]

Cool.

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't know that. Are you familiar with the TV show Burke's Law?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, boy, that was. I am aware of it, but I've

[Tom Griswold]

never seen Incredibly obscure. And then it. Then its final season. I believe it changed to Amos Burke, Secret Agent or something like that.

[Christy Lee]

Wow.

[Josh Arnold]

Who was Burke?

[Tom Griswold]

Burke's Law was a show in which the premise was simple. The guy was a man of means. Millionaire, I think he drove a Rolls Royce around, but his hobby was being a cop.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Is you a bit of a stretch, right?

[Pat Godwin]

I thought it was Delta Burke.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no. But yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Gerald McCraney knows about Burke's Law, doesn't he?

[Pat Godwin]

She can't touch anything on the plate.

[Tom Griswold]

When he calls, we'll see if he remembers the show. I know it's very obscure.

[Josh Arnold]

He's a little younger than me. He won't. But he may be aware of it.

[Christy Lee]

Is he aware that his name is Death in French?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, there's no. There's no E or apostrophe.

[Christy Lee]

Well, Mort.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay, well, petite Mort, we call him.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll check in with all these things. Interesting. Patently. You've got a song for us. I'm very excited about this. We do have more chicken news. Chickens in the news, both alive and grilled for your dining and dancing pleasure on the way today. Also, we have news about an assault involving an unusual weapon. Has anybody heard of the. By the way, in a different note, the swag procedure?

[Josh Arnold]

No, I have not.

[Tom Griswold]

No. Well, we were actually talking about it. I didn't know the name of It. We were talking about it a few weeks ago in reference to the Olympics. It involves the male member.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

And remember that whole thing with the hyaluronic acid?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And it was the. The ski jumpers were allegedly having their male members increased just so they could try their pants on, and then they would shrink back to normal or something, and they would be able to get some crazy.

[Jeff Oskay]

Am I correct that your son Willie has the word swag tattooed on the inside of his lip?

[Josh Arnold]

Correct.

[Christy Lee]

That is true, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

What does it stand for?

[Jeff Oskay]

Bad choices in life? I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

You don't give him enough crap.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the deeper meaning of it. But what does it stand for? I appreciate that.

[Pat Godwin]

How much trouble did he get when he showed up with that?

[Christy Lee]

I bet he didn't.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I didn't know about it until a couple years ago. Oh, isn't it wearing off?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, Right now it just says ag. And isn't that unfortunate?

[Christy Lee]

He knows nothing about growing corn.

[Tom Griswold]

We all get or something.

[Josh Arnold]

No, I don't know. Is that where swag came from?

[Jeff Oskay]

Huh?

[Tom Griswold]

In this case, I'm gonna wake them up. Swag stands for the Shaffer width and girth procedure.

[Josh Arnold]

Who knew?

[Tom Griswold]

And who would name it at. Well, anyway, we'll find out about all these things. Right now, I want to talk to our car girl. That's right. It's Christy Lee. And Christie is. She's had. We decided. We did a little math on this. Christie's had more cars than any of us in the course of our lifetimes. You used to be a new car every year, girl.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I know. Not anymore.

[Tom Griswold]

My next door neighbor was that way growing up.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. First of all, I got in debt a lot. And secondly, I was very impressed because

[Tom Griswold]

Mr. Osher always had a brand new car.

[Christy Lee]

Mr. Osher was rich. I was not. I just would read.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not sure he was rich. He just kept the payment going. That was the way that worked. But now I have a Hyundai.

[Christy Lee]

A Hyundai hybrid, and you can't get me out of it. I've had it two years. They even called and asked me, please, we'd love to buy your car back. We'll give you a deal on a new one. I go, nope. I love it.

[Tom Griswold]

The world needs a hero. One man, one car, one lady. The challenge in style. And Hyundai has answered that, because that hero can drive all the kids to soccer practice in the beautiful new Hyundai Palisade hybrid. And by the way, an EPA estimated 619 miles of range on the Hyundai Palisade hybrid, which is amazing. And I joked about driving to soccer practice because it has when I was a kid, we had the station wagon with the back seat. And then the way back, we called it the way back. But and then those days, to get to the way back, he opened up what is now called a hatchback because the seat faced the other way. Remember those days? Those days are gone. And as someone who's had a way back for a long time, the problem was to get to the way back, you had to climb over the back, which meant that the backseat was full of mud. Well, Hyundai has the motto no cleats in the seats because the back seat is actually two seats. It's captain's chairs.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

So the kids can get in those chairs ago. I am the captain. Drive me to Dairy Queen.

[Christy Lee]

It's a beautiful interior. It's a wonderful driving machine. And you're gonna miss out if you don't have a Hyundai Palisade hybrid.

[Tom Griswold]

And like I said, 619 EPA estimated range, which is amazing. Get the details visit HyundaiUSA.com or visit your local Hyundai dealer. Give it a drive and you could even get information by calling 562-31-4603. Hyundai the Hyundai USA.com website will help you out looking around and seeing what's happening with that vehicle. And we appreciate your doing that. Now what we're going to do is come right back with your letters. You can reach us, Bob and tomobandtom.com and I want to say a special lot. Oh, to Joe. Hello, Joe at O'Reilly Auto Parts. He helped me out yesterday doing a bunch of stuff. Had to get a bunch of stuff for my car. Thank you, Joe at O'Reilly Auto Parts. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show. There's nothing like fresh home cooked meals. And HelloFresh has made it easier than ever with recipes that feel good and taste delicious night after night. And it's so easy to prepare the meals so the whole family can help out and make dinner especially good on those busy weeknights.

[Josh Arnold]

That's right. And you can choose from more than 100 recipes every week, including cuisine from around the world and meals that help you beat the winter blues.

[Tom Griswold]

You can taste the quality when it comes to hellofresh.

[Mort Burke]

Feel great with wholesome ingredients like sustainably

[Tom Griswold]

sourced seafood and 100% antibiotic and hormone free chicken. Or treat yourself with new grass fed steak ribeye. We use HelloFresh at the Bob and Tom show and you should, too, because when dinner tastes good, Nothing hits like home cooking. Go to hellofresh.com bobandtom10fm to get 10 free meals and a free Zwilling knife. A $144 on your third box offer valid while supplies last. Free meals applied as discount on first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show coming at you live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee's over there.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Josh Arnold]

Pat Godwin.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hello.

[Josh Arnold]

Had a coming off a great show Saturday night.

[Pat Godwin]

That was fun.

[Josh Arnold]

Ohio.

[Pat Godwin]

Northern Ohio. They love you guys.

[Josh Arnold]

We love them. Yeah, they love you, Patty. There's Jeff Os. Yeah. Ace Cosby across the way. Hello, I'm Josh Arnold. And there's Tommy.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello. Time to check your pulse. It's Monday. You okay? Okay, good.

[Josh Arnold]

Doing well. Doing well. How about your pulse?

[Christy Lee]

Did you see the sign this morning on your way in that you're.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, I'm taking a different route.

[Christy Lee]

Your exit's going to be closed for the next three days.

[Tom Griswold]

I've given up, okay? My. My main entrance has been closed for three and a half years now. I've just given up. Why even put a freeway in if you're never going to be able to use it?

[Christy Lee]

So then I said that, and then Jeff goes, yeah, I went that way this morning. It was open. So, you know.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, who cares? We're all we are as the people paying for the roads. Dear Bob and Tom, this comes to us from an officer of the law.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, what I do.

[Tom Griswold]

This is from upstate New York. I'm going to read this as written. I don't want. I'm not trying to cast any aspersions, okay? I'm a police officer in upstate New York, not a state cop. Those guys are dicks. There must be some rivalry between the state police and the softball matches. Local authorities, probably. We were having one of our many philosophical conversations when the topic of hot dogs came up.

[Jeff Oskay]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

How many hot dogs can you eat in a calendar year? Or do you eat.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, calendar year.

[Tom Griswold]

Everyone had to estimate. Estimate. The lowest we had was three. The highest, 110. Whoa.

[Josh Arnold]

How does. I wonder what that person does.

[Tom Griswold]

That would be one every three days.

[Christy Lee]

A lot of baseball games, I guess.

[Tom Griswold]

What would you say? I'd say in my case, maybe a dozen.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's. I'm honestly around a dozen.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe. Maybe 20.

[Christy Lee]

I would say about five.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm zero this year.

[Josh Arnold]

Zero.

[Christy Lee]

Really? No hot dogs?

[Tom Griswold]

No. Piggy the pigs in a blanket thing?

[Pat Godwin]

What do you mean, no?

[Tom Griswold]

Those count as hot dogs?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. You said pigs in A blanket. I'm thinking east coast pigs, hot dogs

[Christy Lee]

in a crescent roll. Is that what you're.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Not a hot dog this year.

[Jeff Oskay]

No, Jeff, I've had two Coney dogs this year.

[Josh Arnold]

Now you're talking 20, 26. Yes. Now, Pat, how many did you have? 20, 25.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Zero.

[Josh Arnold]

Zero in that.

[Jeff Oskay]

Okay. Oh, for the whole year.

[Christy Lee]

2025.

[Tom Griswold]

I'd like to apologize.

[Jeff Oskay]

Someone's doing better.

[Tom Griswold]

I do apologize to Oscar Meyer and the hot dog people.

[Pat Godwin]

No, I love.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I wouldn't buy Oscar Meyer anyway. I'm a ballpark man.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, really?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. I don't mind Oscar Meyer, but I'm a ballpark man.

[Tom Griswold]

I'll ratio. You got the. You take the ballpark. The ballpark mobile. I'll take the wiener mobile.

[Josh Arnold]

You'll win because there is no ball.

[Tom Griswold]

That's right, because it's a lesser product.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'm a Nathan's guy.

[Josh Arnold]

Those are good, too. Yeah, Applegate's also one of my.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, thank you, Officer. Be careful out there. Now, we have. We were discussing eating in bed, which I do not approve of.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

No, Hot dogs are pretty good food. Real quick, Tom, for cops. It's. It's fairly perfect.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you ever eat the ones that are on that rotating thing in the.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

I've never had one of those. I'm. I just don't know how long they've been.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't judge people for getting them, but I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I'm. I'm concerned.

[Christy Lee]

What are you concerned about?

[Josh Arnold]

Now, most gas stations now have a pretty good system where you can tell, you know, these are cooking. Yeah, these are ready.

[Pat Godwin]

They're throwing things away.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. The turnover is high.

[Jeff Oskay]

They have a chicken Toronto, which is like a little mini roll up with chicken and cheese in the morning at one of the local gas stations. Two for like $2. They're phenomenal. Now, around 11:30, you're going to want to be around a portalette, but other than that, they are fire. Yeah, nice to know.

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't.

[Christy Lee]

When was the last time you had food from a gas station?

[Tom Griswold]

Never. They're.

[Josh Arnold]

They've got really. It's changed so much better.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

The Wawa. You've been to a Wawa. You saw it.

[Tom Griswold]

That was delightful.

[Josh Arnold]

Your wawas, your quick trips, your get go.

[Pat Godwin]

They have up their games.

[Tom Griswold]

I almost never eat fast food. Over the weekend, two of my girls, for some reason, we were at this place, in the nearest place to eat, we went to raising. Raising canes.

[Josh Arnold]

Little girls love raising.

[Tom Griswold]

It was. So do big boys. I loved it.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

It was great.

[Jeff Oskay]

Glad you enjoyed that.

[Tom Griswold]

Is it like the chicken. The chicken box. Whatever. I didn't. I'm not sure what else they have, but they were great.

[Josh Arnold]

No, they're business models based on. That's what they have. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It was tremendous.

[Jeff Oskay]

And a bunch of great sauces.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I. And I had never been there. I will be going back.

[Christy Lee]

I've never been there either.

[Tom Griswold]

It's great.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I went to Abel's and it was closed.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Oh yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, you kill somebody.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, we like to do our biblical jokes early because for those getting up for their vesper.

[Jeff Oskay]

Whatever.

[Tom Griswold]

Where was I? Oh, I was discussing eating. I do not approve of room service. I hate room service. I would never eat in bed. I don't want eating in bed at home.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Dear Bob and Tom show. You were talking about eating in bed. My boyfriend and I were in London recently. This is from Alicia in.

[Josh Arnold]

Did you have some spotted dick?

[Tom Griswold]

Charleston, South Carolina? Spotted dick, of course, is a. A dessert.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh no, I'm in a freckled penis.

[Pat Godwin]

He wasn't talking spotted dick.

[Christy Lee]

You guys get freckles on your penis?

[Josh Arnold]

Sure have you leave him out in the sun.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. I have a couple liver spots. Ye.

[Tom Griswold]

I've lost my place. Oh, here we go. My boyfriend was eating chocolate in bed one night. We apparently lost one in the sheets.

[Christy Lee]

Oh no.

[Tom Griswold]

When we were checking out the next morning, we found the carnage. He left a note for the housekeeper that said, I swear it's chocolate, not poop. Not poop with a ten pound note. I couldn't make eye contact with the sweet lady pushing the cleaner cart in the hall as we left.

[Pat Godwin]

Can you imagine what they've seen?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

A ten pound nose. Pretty good. That's close to 20 bucks, so.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Not bad.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But as long as she understands what it is and what it isn't.

[Josh Arnold]

Because they've seen everything, you know, they've seen real poop.

[Christy Lee]

Oh yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And then Pat used to say when you used to dye your hair, you would always do it at hotels.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

The ruined.

[Pat Godwin]

No matter how you try to keep it clean.

[Tom Griswold]

Never. Yeah, I see, I see.

[Josh Arnold]

Didn't you say you had done that at a particular. Because you know, on the road you hit the same hotels and eventually there was a sign up.

[Pat Godwin]

Howard Johnson's in. In Evansville.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

If you.

[Pat Godwin]

If you use hair dye at this hotel, you'll be charged 500.

[Josh Arnold]

How did it feel knowing you were the cause of A sign?

[Jeff Oskay]

No. When I walked up to the counter and saw it, I pointed it out to Pat. I was like, look, they know we're

[Pat Godwin]

coming the year before.

[Announcer]

It wasn't there.

[Pat Godwin]

What did it say exactly? Do you remember?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, it says. It said, no hair dyeing in the sink. You will be charged for, like, please stop doing that or something.

[Pat Godwin]

Please stop doing that. Pat Godwin.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. Everything but his picture.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. Well, hello. Thanks for joining us. This is the Bob and Tom program. We are currently reading your letters. You can reach us, Bob and tomobandtom.com. who else has a letter over there? Do I have them all?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, I have one. The reason dogs follow you into the bathroom. I brought this up, I think last week, that my dogs always go to the bathroom with me and watch you is because you watch them while they're going and they want to return the favor. Well, this is from John. John. I don't think that's exactly right. I have always heard they do that to protect you. They are trying to protect you from predators because you're in a vulnerable position and that's why they sit in the bathroom with you. Have you known that?

[Tom Griswold]

I just assume they. Because I have a theory.

[Christy Lee]

They like the smell.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I think dogs don't smell the way we do. Qualitatively, I think dogs smell quantitatively. So the more something stinks for them, the better it is. This is very unscientific, like most of my thinking, you know what I'm saying? Because you'll be walking your dog and there'll be something really offensive, and they walk up and just huff it, and you're kind of going, oh, my God. Yeah. I'm not sure if it's an odor thing or just a companionship thing.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know. I always thought it was just because they knew I was a captive audience.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I prefer to think. I prefer to think my dogs consider me God when I do things like make it light. Oh, look, I hit the switch, let there be light. They go, wow, that guy is great. How does he do this stuff?

[Jeff Oskay]

I, over the weekend, dropped a tube of green acrylic paint on the floor, and I was unaware that I dropped a tube of green acrylic paint on the floor until one of my dogs came up and they are decorated for St. Patrick's Day. Pause the face just from ear to mouth.

[Tom Griswold]

Did they walk around and get it on the floor?

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, on their dog bed is now green and both their paws are front paws are dying green and their entire

[Tom Griswold]

mouth is Wondering about my rock and roll lifestyle. Saturday night, let's see who I had. There were several people at my house. Friends of. Friends of the. Friends of terrorists.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, no.

[Tom Griswold]

And at one point, I spent an hour cleaning. I didn't realize that the slime stuff was still a thing. Oh, yeah, that was the thing a decade ago.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

And you go, I went to Target and you buy Elmer's glue and, and what's like the stuff for your eyes, the sale. You buy the saline stuff, you buy Elmer's glue and, and then they make the slime. Well, I mean, it was just all over. I mean, I, I, and then I had to go get Drano and it just, it really just escalates because I. There's all this goop going down the sink and I'm going.

[Pat Godwin]

You didn't do the slime inside, did you?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they were inside, but I mean,

[Pat Godwin]

not in the house.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, in the house.

[Pat Godwin]

Was Kelly home?

[Tom Griswold]

She was busy doing something else. But that's, I mean, that stuff really makes a mess.

[Jeff Oskay]

It does not come out of carpet either.

[Tom Griswold]

And then the next day they have these. What are softball sized things of slime that they're, It's.

[Christy Lee]

What do they do with it?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

Just play with it.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, it was a big thing many years ago.

[Christy Lee]

I remember that.

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't realize it's back.

[Jeff Oskay]

Huh.

[Tom Griswold]

So, yeah. Remember at one point it was so big, a few years ago they had a display where they had all the stuff right there and what do they call it? An end cap.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

At Target.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I had to go to like three different spots of Target to get it. And I don't work. It was very exciting and it's hard to get out of anything now. Any more letters over there?

[Christy Lee]

Do I have all the rest from Dorsey? This is Dorsey and Brian. I don't know if that's Brian, Texas. I don't know. Dear radio Royalty, why, thank you very much. I play in our church band. I played the drums. And after our set, the pastor went into his message and kept using the word scattered. Every time I whispered, should be after the third time, I got the look.

[Tom Griswold]

My wife, I imagine.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you, Dorsey.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, comedian Mort Burke and I will quiz him on the TV show Burke's Law.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay, but he will not know.

[Tom Griswold]

Starring Gene Berry.

[Christy Lee]

Ouch.

[Jeff Oskay]

Tom, we got a letter about swag. This is for Mick. It says Tom. In the technical engineering field, SWAG stands for scientific wild ass guests.

[Josh Arnold]

I like it.

[Christy Lee]

I do too.

[Jeff Oskay]

And in the marketing world, SWAG is free giveaways or free branded merchandise.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, it's stuff and or s word we all get. Isn't that what it stands for?

[Josh Arnold]

I wonder which came first though. If people are calling it swag and then somebody cleverly came up with that, I think. Or if.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, good question. Yeah. Because we talk about passing out swag here. In this case, Swag comes from Dr. David Schaefer and it involves a procedure that is getting more popular, God knows why, involving the male member. It is the so called swag procedure to increase I. Primarily the girth. There's a real weird element to this. What's that movie where the lady's playing with the. Oh, ghost. Remember the movie where there's that whole scene where they're at the potter's. At the Potter Potter's wheel.

[Josh Arnold]

Of course.

[Tom Griswold]

Famous scene.

[Josh Arnold]

Very sexy. Well, the Righteous Brothers playing.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. This, this injection.

[Christy Lee]

Are we gonna just do the story?

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no. I just want to give a little hint after they as part of it, the, that you have to, you have to sort of sculpt it with your

[Christy Lee]

hands to mold it. What shape would you make?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. So this leads, this leads to all kinds of options.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. Balloon artist in there.

[Tom Griswold]

Why did they call you. Why do they call you Dick Shovel?

[Josh Arnold]

Funny you'd ask better than my brother Poodle Dick.

[Tom Griswold]

One thing about this show, you're going to hear phrases that have just been invented that have never been stated stated before. Now we'd love to hear from you once again, Bob and [e-mail] in the world of sports. You mentioned the, the gold medals for both the men and the women in the world of hockey.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

So exciting.

[Tom Griswold]

Great job with the. Great job by NBC with the Olympics. I wish they'd last another week. The Paralympics are coming up, so there'll be, there'll be some more great visuals and great athletes out there to. To be watching. And then the next. Where are the next Winter Games? Does anybody know the next. The Summer Games are in Los Angeles.

[Jeff Oskay]

Australia.

[Christy Lee]

Australia.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, they're trying something different.

[Tom Griswold]

No snow.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. It'll be in July. Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, they're really mixing it up.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, thank you very much.

[Christy Lee]

I'm gonna find out.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Right now I want to tell you about Simply Safe. We've been talking about Simply Safe before we were technically talking about it. I remember one day Chick Magee walked in, he goes, you're not going to believe what I did this weekend. I put in my own security system. Took me half an hour. Simply Safe has been around For a while. And it's getting better every year. And it keeps getting voted number one by USA Today and Newsweek and lots of other authorities. Traditional security systems only take action kind of after the. After it's too late. But SimpliSafe has something called active guard outdoor protection that can help prevent break ins before they even happen. They have AI powered cameras backed up by live professional monitoring plans with agents that are watching what's going on. When suspicious activity takes place, they can call the cops. They could also go, hey, you, we see you. The cops are on the way. They can actually talk to the alleged perp, if you will. By the way, Simplisafe, no long term contracts or cancellation fees. Some of these monitoring plans start as low as a buck a day. And it's kind of important to know that with Simplisafe, you sort of pick out what you need for your place. Do you need. Do you need carbon monoxide detectors, fire alarms, do you need the windows alarmed, et cetera, et cetera? A lot of the stuff you can just do yourself. And one of the keys is all the great cameras that they have. I think Chick has the record for all of us. I want to say he has 11 cameras. Once again, simply safe, ranked number one in service. Find out all the details by visiting simplisafetom.com I mention that because you can protect your home today and Enjoy a staggering 50% off a new SimpliSafe system with SimpliSafeTom.com so use my name, it'll save you half. Remember, there's no safe like SimpliSafe. Read the reviews, people. People just love Simplisafe. In fact, I'm looking right at a Simplisafe camera right now here in our studios. Coming up, we have Christy Lee at the news desk. We have unusual news today. I love it when it's kind of the Mr. Obvious of science. The headline here is the munchies are real.

[Christy Lee]

I could have told you that.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, a bunch of scientists convinced someone to give him some money to find out if the. I'm not sure if this was. I wonder if the money came from Taco Bell or Jack in the Box. I'm at White Castle. Munch. The munchies are real. We'll find out about that. Also, armpit hair in the news. Are you ever shave yours? No.

[Josh Arnold]

I'll occasionally trim mine.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Jeff Oskay]

Really.

[Josh Arnold]

It's nice, huh? Real nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Christy, your thoughts?

[Christy Lee]

I shaved my armpit hair. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

When did you start doing that?

[Christy Lee]

14, maybe 13. 20.

[Josh Arnold]

14. How long was it, Josh?

[Tom Griswold]

Have you ever done any horizontal dancing with a young lady who was very hairy armpits?

[Josh Arnold]

Not at the time, no. But there were times where she would go a while and it would. You could see it.

[Tom Griswold]

Did it bother you?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Yeah, I didn't really. I wasn't a fan.

[Tom Griswold]

Petty G. Let me talk to my lawyer.

[Pat Godwin]

He thinks he has.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, Jeffrey, I know the answer is yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

I've dated some hippies.

[Christy Lee]

I'm not surprised.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, we'll find out about why. Why armpit hair is in the news today. We'll also learn about the SWAG procedure. Fellas, if you are feeling inadequate, we'll try to try to help you out in that capacity. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Catch any part of the show you missed later today on our YouTube channel.

[Christy Lee]

What would you do if your online

[Tom Griswold]

store converted 36% more shoppers?

[Christy Lee]

You could take 36% more vacation.

[Tom Griswold]

Another pina colada.

[Mort Burke]

Yes, please.

[Christy Lee]

Open a new retail location with 36% more square feet.

[Tom Griswold]

Fantastic.

[Christy Lee]

Hire 36% more help.

[Tom Griswold]

You're hired. And you're hired.

[Christy Lee]

Shopify has the world's best converting checkout up to 36% better than other e commerce platforms.

[Tom Griswold]

What you do with those extra sales is up to you.

[Christy Lee]

Switch to Shopify [e-mail] listen and get a $1 trial.

[Tom Griswold]

Shopify.com listen.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee's here.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Josh Arnold]

As is Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

There's Jeff Oskay.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hey, man.

[Josh Arnold]

Ace Cosby. Howdy. I'm Josh Arnold. And there's Tom. Tom, I trust you at a terrific weekend.

[Tom Griswold]

I did. Attention all parents. Times have changed and I mentioned earlier that a couple of my girls were doing the. The making slime. All right, Which I think is now approaching its second decade of ruining things for parents. And you make it with what you make it with. What is it again? Elmer's Glue. Yes, I stuff saline. Yeah, whatever. That's. I don't have contacts. We could do a whole show one day of taking good songs and turning them into bad commercials. But for Christopher Cross, for saline solution, in any event, one of the problems of contemporary culture is I don't have any newspaper anymore at my house because I get all my. I get all my newspapers. I get about 20 of them, but I get them on my phone. So I know for my parakeet, I Put an iPad, I was gonna say, underneath the.

[Christy Lee]

You don't own a bird.

[Tom Griswold]

So, yeah, so I. I went, quite literally, I went to Michael's three times this weekend buying stuff for other projects. But I got those big rolls of

[Christy Lee]

white paper that you can just pour. Pull over.

[Tom Griswold]

That was my next question. I've got to get some of those.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, that's what I used to do when I had the kids at home.

[Josh Arnold]

They're really helpful.

[Christy Lee]

Very helpful.

[Tom Griswold]

Because I used to take newspapers and, and painters tape and I. I'd cover the table with that and then all hell could break loose and everything was okay.

[Christy Lee]

You can buy that in bulk. It's like a big white.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, you can get. Bring it whatever color you want.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, whatever.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm on a first day basis with several people at Michael's, I'm sure.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, nice.

[Christy Lee]

Then they could help you with that.

[Tom Griswold]

They were great. By the way, I. I've two flights of balloons for various birthdays this week. It's great. And the helium short this week. Heart.

[Christy Lee]

Ah, that's what you're making.

[Tom Griswold]

Heart turns 10. Kelly. Kelly turns 32.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow.

[Christy Lee]

This week. Nice. That was nicely done.

[Josh Arnold]

That's pretty rad, man.

[Christy Lee]

Did you get her a present?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I did. Well, now, let me put it this way. I swear to God, this. This is true. As you know, there happens to be, as we speak, a gigantic storm hitting the east Coast.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not going to say what it is, but this may delay comes from Philadelphia.

[Josh Arnold]

Does it?

[Christy Lee]

She's flying out of New York.

[Tom Griswold]

Might be coming out of the northern area of the east coast. We'll see.

[Josh Arnold]

But I hate blizzards.

[Christy Lee]

Well, Maine lobsters.

[Tom Griswold]

I could use a lobster today.

[Christy Lee]

Wouldn't that be great?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Golden Corral. You can add a lobster to your buffet for 7.99.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

I saw the commercial yesterday.

[Pat Godwin]

They have lobster now.

[Christy Lee]

I've never been to a Golden Corral.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's actually, I also mentioned crab meat. I took a couple of girls this weekend and we were in sort of a busy area and it was Saturday night. We wanted to grab something to eat. And right by the parking lot there was a place called Raising Canes, I believe. I had never been there. I know.

[Josh Arnold]

We're just kind of laughing because it's. It's wildly popular. It's better.

[Tom Griswold]

And I can see why.

[Josh Arnold]

But in Tom's defense, new to our area.

[Tom Griswold]

It was great. I am if I will happily endorse. It was delicious.

[Pat Godwin]

And they're only open on Sunday. Isn't that weird?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, they saw.

[Tom Griswold]

They saw a hole in the market, and I. All I know is I got a box, and in the box was delicious chicken fingers.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

And they. I'm not sure what their. What their thing is, but they were great.

[Jeff Oskay]

Did you get the Texas toast with it?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, that's. That's a good slice of bread.

[Christy Lee]

I am so happy you're eating, like, real food.

[Josh Arnold]

You're a true sorority girl.

[Tom Griswold]

And then, of course, I just spent yesterday fasting.

[Christy Lee]

I know, because I figured.

[Josh Arnold]

And the old joke, how do you get a sorority girl to go down on you? Dunk it in raising cane sauce.

[Tom Griswold]

I had no idea.

[Josh Arnold]

Josh.

[Christy Lee]

Okay, Josh, I'm going to take you aside off the air.

[Tom Griswold]

So. So the reason I bring this up again is, is we had an odd story. Did you grab this? I printed it for you, Christy.

[Christy Lee]

Buffalo Wild Wings. Yeah. And Illinois judges ruled that boneless chicken wings are still wings, quote, unquote. Amin Haleem of Chicago filed a lawsuit against Buffalo Wild Wings way back in 2023, arguing that the chain deceives its customers by labeling products as boneless wings when the chain instead uses breast meat, which is cheaper.

[Jeff Oskay]

This has got to go all the way up to the Supreme Court, Judge. Not like this ruling.

[Christy Lee]

John J. Tharp Jr. Dismissed Mr. Haleem's claim, saying in his ruling that a reasonable consumer would not think that boneless wings were made of wing meat. He added, quote, despite his best efforts, Mr. Haleem did not, quote, unquote, drum up enough factual allegations.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't you hate it when judges start doing the pun thing?

[Christy Lee]

Mr. Haleem can amend his claim to try to prove he suffered economic injury, but Judge Tharp said it's unlikely to be persuasive. He has until March 20 to file a complaint.

[Tom Griswold]

But, see, I think that the logic I would have used would be as follows. Now they're saying that they're boneless wings. This guy's saying they're not really wings.

[Christy Lee]

Right?

[Tom Griswold]

They're not, but. Yeah, but, Ace, you call it a boner, but there's no bone in it. Am I right?

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

Speak for yourself.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, no, man. I broke mine. And it. It felt like a bone broke.

[Josh Arnold]

I bet it did. I bet it did. Yeah. You had to actually kind of do some stuff, didn't you? Like, go to the hospital? Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That had to be incredibly embarrassing.

[Christy Lee]

Did they split it with Popsicle?

[Jeff Oskay]

I mean, it's never embarrassing when you're getting something.

[Pat Godwin]

Reverse cowgirl.

[Mort Burke]

What?

[Pat Godwin]

Got you?

[Jeff Oskay]

No straight missionary, no sitting on the couch lap.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you didn't want to miss the hockey game.

[Jeff Oskay]

Did you see the school?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, Pat, you said you have a tribute to chicken wings.

[Pat Godwin]

A man should be w w over their wings he claimed their boneless wings are they have breast meat and other assorted things the judge says the case nest no meat on its bones Chicken fingers aren't fingers the case has to go Wings are still wings if the sauce ain't from Buffalo Wings was on in the 90s and my favorite favorite show, his favorite show it starred two brothers one named Brian Tim Daly was Joe Steadfast Joe the mechanic was funny and left after six seasons the show was still great, so I don't know the reasons Wings was still wings Even when Thomas Hayden Church had to go

[Josh Arnold]

he played low

[Pat Godwin]

yes, he did.

[Josh Arnold]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Pat Godwin]

The Beatles broke up and Paul started a band named Wings o Wings he put his wife in the group Even though she couldn't play or sing jet but band on the run Wings is still good, don't you know Even though his old lady couldn't play the piano and wings are still wings Even though Linda couldn't hold a note Wings are still wings if the sauce ain't from Bubba

[Tom Griswold]

don't you know band with the runs. Thank you very much. Patty G. Little tribute to wings. That was lovely. Thank you. Thank you. Now, coming up, we have some sporting news.

[Christy Lee]

So you don't like boneless chicken wings? Is that what I'm hearing?

[Josh Arnold]

No, I want us fingers tenders.

[Christy Lee]

No, they're not.

[Jeff Oskay]

They're chunks. Yeah, they're chicken chunks.

[Josh Arnold]

That's what they should call chicken chunks.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I mean, chicken chunks. For example, the most famous case like this is the potato chip case.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

They cannot call Pringles potato chips.

[Christy Lee]

I know, Chris.

[Tom Griswold]

They're whatever they're called. Crisps.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, Potato crisps.

[Tom Griswold]

But that went to court. But. Yeah, but in this case, I. The judge ruled.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That they can still call them wings.

[Christy Lee]

I don't like to deal with the bone. I like them boneless.

[Tom Griswold]

But they're not really wings. That's the point. It's ground up breast meat.

[Christy Lee]

That's all right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But I think it's. This is gonna end up at the Supreme Court. Yeah, It'll be interesting to see what happens. I just can't see those guys. They pass around a plate of wings at the court. They all put bibs over their black robes.

[Jeff Oskay]

You can just wipe it on the black robe.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, Clarence, come on. Easy on the sauce, buddy. I gotta have some over here.

[Josh Arnold]

What's that on your coat?

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, we have some sporting news. Comedian Mort Burke will be joining us. We have a penile news, and once again, my favorite headline of the day. Quote, the munchies are real. Thank you, science. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Add to or continue the conversation. Check out the Bob and Tom show on Facebook. Get the [e-mail]. this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

We heard you. Nine years of bring back the snack wrap and you've won. But maybe you should have asked for more. Say hello to the Hot honey snack wrap. Now you've really won. Go to McDonald's and get it while you can. Fly.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, my gosh. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. There's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hi, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

We are live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. I haven't looked over at Tom. Is he mad?

[Christy Lee]

No, he has no idea.

[Pat Godwin]

How you doing, Josh?

[Josh Arnold]

There's Jeff Oski.

[Jeff Oskay]

We're very live.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, Ace Cosby's over there. Hello, I am Josh Arnold waking up. And there is Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Good morning. Hello. Good evening. Whatever's happening in your life now. I. I had another incident over the weekend.

[Josh Arnold]

Tell us all about it, slick.

[Tom Griswold]

I came into the living room. I was the only one home at the time. And my little dog was. The little one, not the big one. Was chewing on one of those cube squishy things. I don't know what these are. They're floating around my house.

[Josh Arnold]

Is it meant to be a dog toy or squishmallow?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, no, it's. I know it's not a dog toy.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

But of course.

[Christy Lee]

Squishy thing. Was it a makeup brush?

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's some kind of a. A like a stress reliever or something. All right. I don't know what they're for.

[Pat Godwin]

Two words

[Tom Griswold]

here. Yes. In the house and in the. By the carpet. By. In the living room. And whatever was inside was like a. A glittery gluey paste. So that's all over the carpet and all over his. All over. All over his face.

[Pat Godwin]

Kelly. Is Kelly home?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, you better.

[Tom Griswold]

I recently invested in one of these miniature carpet cleaning.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, the Bissell Green Machine, baby.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. And then you spray it with steam.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, I have that.

[Tom Griswold]

And then I've got fans on everything else. But my concern is. So then I'm thinking, okay, this dog is probably gonna have some kind of a seizure from eating toxic glitter goop. So I kept an eye on him. He seems to be fine. Yeah, I'm anticipating today. It'd be when I get home, there'll be some kind of very glittery turd emerging.

[Josh Arnold]

Did Johnny Weir take a crap here?

[Tom Griswold]

And by the way, did you see yesterday that outfit he had on?

[Josh Arnold]

I didn't.

[Tom Griswold]

That was a bold statement.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I'll have to check it out. They're always bold.

[Tom Griswold]

They're all bold.

[Christy Lee]

Did you see him at the airport? How many suitcases he had, I've never seen.

[Pat Godwin]

They're called valises.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

I've never seen anything like it. All hard sighted. There must have been.

[Jeff Oskay]

I begin to think that he's gay. He's great.

[Christy Lee]

Onto something.

[Tom Griswold]

He's great. Whatever. It just. It was so funny. The thing he had yesterday was I. I couldn't even figure out what it was. It was. It was sort of like this oddly shaped, weird.

[Josh Arnold]

I love it. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not sure you could sit in that thing. It looked like it was stiff.

[Josh Arnold]

The thing about what? He always seems comfortable, no matter how bizarre. Whatever it is. It's like, oh, no, that totally fits. That totally works for you.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Not many people could pull it off. And Johnny does.

[Tom Griswold]

It's the same reason. The same reason they have Snoop. Yeah. Putting a little bit of pizzazz in whatever's happening at the Olympics. Always very funny. We're going to check in briefly. Jeff Oskay sitting in for Chick Magee. Are there anything else of interest? I mean.

[Jeff Oskay]

Team USA defeated Canada for the first men's hockey gold at the Olympics since 1980.

[Christy Lee]

That's right.

[Jeff Oskay]

U.S. beat Canada 2 to 1 after Jack Hughes scored less than two minutes into overtime during the gold medal final. The win marks the nation's third men's title at the games and his first since the Miracle on Ice in 1980. 46 years to the day.

[Tom Griswold]

They're making a movie of this, are they? It's called a Miracle on Ice 2 electric boogaloo.

[Josh Arnold]

I look forward to it.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know if you're. If you remember the classic.

[Josh Arnold]

He's treading on maritime.

[Tom Griswold]

A break and.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Breaking part two. Electric Boogaloo. Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Do you remember? Name one person. Name one person for breaking. This is.

[Josh Arnold]

This is so transparent. Okay, here.

[Tom Griswold]

If you. I had to Google.

[Jeff Oskay]

If you can Google and I'll give you a hint. The name's very close to someone you love.

[Tom Griswold]

It's not Kelly Clarkson.

[Jeff Oskay]

It is Kelly.

[Tom Griswold]

I had to Google.

[Christy Lee]

It's not Kelly Clarkson though.

[Josh Arnold]

And what are they trying to save in Part two? Do you remember that? The community center.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's right. That's right. Which one Was your favorite turbo or ozone?

[Josh Arnold]

You know what's weird about so. So breaking comes out in, what, 84 or 83, something like that. And it's this monster hit that no one saw coming. And then they crapped out the second one in, like six months.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh. And it's garbage.

[Tom Griswold]

There are some that feel much like The Godfather Part 2, the Electric Boogaloo. Breakin 2 is the superior film, I believe. I believe Roger. I believe Roger Ebert weighed in on that.

[Christy Lee]

I have got to say, I've not seen either of them.

[Josh Arnold]

You're fine. You're fine.

[Pat Godwin]

Who did star? Was it the curly headed guy from American Idol or something? Was it one of those guys?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, no, no. Kelly Clarkson has nothing to do with it.

[Josh Arnold]

She has nothing to do with it.

[Jeff Oskay]

No, just the girl's name. The white girl who goes to save the inner city dance troupe is named Kelly. That movie. We had hardwood floors growing up. I don't mean to brag, but we had hardwood floors. And so we took a can of pledge and just pledged the hardwood floor so that we could backspin and stuff.

[Josh Arnold]

Sure.

[Jeff Oskay]

Except for that Friday night. We always had movie night, and mom's coming in with a big tray of popcorn in her stocking feet, and she hit that pledge floor, and it was one of those where the feet come up as high as your head and then go. We were not allowed to pledge the hardwood floors.

[Josh Arnold]

Were you, like, why couldn't it have been dad? It had to be Mom.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you do much breakdancing?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, I wanted to. I had no coordination. I was just spinning around on my back.

[Tom Griswold]

No. And breakdancing that has been eliminated from the Olympics. They're not going to do it again. Is that correct?

[Josh Arnold]

They decided that before they even did it.

[Jeff Oskay]

Could you break dance, Josh?

[Josh Arnold]

No. But I remember we had a meeting in school. They had, like, an assembly with breakdancers. This was in. We were in grade school, and the breakdancers also had some, like, positive message or whatever. And then they. They. But they had to explain to us, please do not attempt head spins on your own. You can. Many people have broken their necks, and we were all scared to death. Like, they came right out and said, you will break your neck if you try.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jeff Oskay]

Could you ever do the caterpillar thing on the ground where you.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, one point.

[Jeff Oskay]

I can see you doing that at a party now.

[Josh Arnold]

I would just break ribs. I wouldn't be a caterpillar so much as a slug.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you just keep going. I'm enjoying this. Yeah. So the Breakdancing is out.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Yeah. That was going to be a one time thing.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

What was it called? Like a spectator sport or something they had a title for?

[Josh Arnold]

I thought it was athletic as hell.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I thought it was wild.

[Mort Burke]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't see that as a really much of a sport, as difficult as it may be to do.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But so the hockey. The hockey team, big winners.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. Mr. Hughes lost a couple teeth.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. When did he get that hockey stick to the face? At what point of the game that happened?

[Josh Arnold]

I think the third period.

[Christy Lee]

Was it during the third period? Okay. Because we were.

[Josh Arnold]

And Ken. Yeah, they got the high stick and then Ken had to go to the box.

[Tom Griswold]

But you heard the interview with him where he said, I'm super stoked.

[Josh Arnold]

Pretty much. You.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, you.

[Josh Arnold]

But he. I don't think he lost the teeth in the, in the game. He just had a bloody lip from the high stick. Oh, that's just him without his bridge or whatever.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, he's lost him before is what you're saying.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, they have.

[Tom Griswold]

This is boring and I apologize. They have a thing now, when you get your teeth knocked out, they can. A friend of mine was the trainer for a hockey team and they've got these kits now if the tooth comes out, they put this special stuff on it. They shove it back in and sometimes it'll stick.

[Christy Lee]

It'll reroute.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. So it's. Most of the guys are wearing mouth guards, but even so.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah. When you train like. Like Hughes brothers did, you're gonna break teeth and break.

[Christy Lee]

I don't think you're gonna get a mouth guard's gonna protect you from us.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you think they had more people watching the hockey game because of heated rivalry? Yep.

[Josh Arnold]

Maybe.

[Tom Griswold]

You do?

[Christy Lee]

I do. I think it's a whole new legion of fans. You have a lot of young women out there who are now watching hockey personally. That's my.

[Tom Griswold]

Think they were watching that and going, this really isn't gay enough.

[Josh Arnold]

Maybe. I mean, if you're watching hockey because you watched. Because you like a show about two gay guys who play hockey, you're not probably not gonna like hockey.

[Tom Griswold]

That's sort of my point.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

And these guys are. The guys on Heated Rivalry are really pretty. I mean, they don't look like they don't have their teeth missing. And you know, like some of the.

[Tom Griswold]

If you want to see real Huggy, watch Slap Shot, one of the great movies of all time. Coming up, we have a dumb crook in the news. We always have lots of these. Also we have A world record for you. We have an assault involving an unusual object. We have a couple of drunks in the news. Of course, we have a little history for you and armpit hair in the news. You'll want to hear about this. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, welcome to the Bob and Tom show, live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. We sure appreciate you being here with us. There's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Josh Arnold]

Pat Godwin's there.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

Jeff, Osu, across the way.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hey, man. How are you?

[Josh Arnold]

I'm good, man. Ace Cosby there. Hello. I am Josh Arnold and Tom. I had one of those nights last night where I woke up every hour and then, like, looking at my clock, seeing how much more time I had to sleep.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Sometimes that just that. I guess that happens normally for me on a Sunday night.

[Christy Lee]

Does it?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Not every Sunday night, but, man, if

[Christy Lee]

I fall asleep right now, I get four hours. If I fall asleep. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

So. Well, I was asleep, and then I would wake up and.

[Tom Griswold]

Where's your clock?

[Josh Arnold]

My phone, next to my bed stand.

[Tom Griswold]

So do you have to click on my bed stand?

[Josh Arnold]

No, it's on a very low setting to where I can just lift it. And it's very dim, but I can

[Tom Griswold]

see the time because I used to have one of those bat signal clocks.

[Josh Arnold]

Right up on your ceiling.

[Tom Griswold]

It was on the ceiling.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Which I loved because I could just kind of roll over. Oh, this is great. I get the sleep for that. Somehow. Got lost.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. And apparently they don't make them anymore.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Yeah, that's what someone told me. Who's sleeping in that room with me?

[Christy Lee]

Was it very bright? Is it a bright light?

[Pat Godwin]

No. You can see it, though.

[Tom Griswold]

It's not too bright. It literally projects onto the ceiling.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I know, but it would not keep you up. It wouldn't.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I don't know. The Princess and the Pea was overly awakened. Now I have a. Now I have, like, the lowest light, but I don't. I don't have to reach and touch something. It's. It's. If I. Yeah. Move my head over, I can see

[Christy Lee]

what time I have to touch my phone to light it up. Light it up. Yeah. I bought a. I bought one, but even on the lowest setting, it's still too bright.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, you're so sensitive.

[Christy Lee]

I just don't like a lot of light in my room.

[Jeff Oskay]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

I say that. And I have no curtains, so I'm not weird.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I know you don't have any curtains. How do you think we're able to

[Pat Godwin]

install them as we age? We want less light in the bedroom.

[Mort Burke]

That's true.

[Josh Arnold]

I guess I'm Odd man because I sleep with TV on, so.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I could never do that. Never.

[Josh Arnold]

So that. Yeah, you got that light going the whole time.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

That's why you don't sleep well, because your brain never shuts off. No, no.

[Tom Griswold]

And you can get your TV to stay on. Mine keep turning off every time I walk around the corner. Are you still watching this? Hey, give me a break here. I cannot figure out how to turn.

[Christy Lee]

Why do you have TV Ghosts? I can't figure that out.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know, but it's really bothering me now. You walk out of a room, 10 minutes later, you're back. Are you still watching over the weekend,

[Christy Lee]

Tom, I traveled to do a surprise birthday party for a friend's husband.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, I saw this. I was like, oh, Tom would love that.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, I saw it too.

[Christy Lee]

The theme was abba, so we all dressed up like abba. The funny thing was. And it was so cute.

[Tom Griswold]

How do you do that?

[Christy Lee]

How do you do that? You buy costumes on Amazon and we.

[Pat Godwin]

Bottoms.

[Tom Griswold]

What does ABBA dress like?

[Christy Lee]

The 70s disco stuff, like flowing pants. And it was very fun. I know you would have hated it.

[Pat Godwin]

White, silver. A lot of fun stuff.

[Christy Lee]

But one of the young kids. There were some young kids there, because he has young kids in their 20s. I don't mean young, young. They all went out to the bars and they left their abba, some of their ABBA gear on, and that was a huge hit. People were buying them shots all the time, all night long. So, see, there are fans of. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

There are people who eat their own turds. It doesn't mean I'm gonna have to do it.

[Christy Lee]

And my friend. My friend whose birthday it was, you'd love this. He's Swedish, so somebody. I don't know why, but they got him a Viking helmet that holds two beer cans.

[Jeff Oskay]

I would like that.

[Christy Lee]

It was a party. We had a great time. Yeah. But. Yeah, you would have hated the ABBA party.

[Tom Griswold]

You're correct.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm sorry. It's okay not to like them.

[Christy Lee]

Would you have not dressed up at all? Would you have worn away?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I would have been happy to dress up.

[Christy Lee]

You should have seen Andy.

[Tom Griswold]

Were they playing? Were they playing the music?

[Pat Godwin]

Andy was dressed as abba.

[Christy Lee]

He was. He got dressed up. Not well, I mean, as one with abba.

[Tom Griswold]

He must really love you. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, that is. That is what Definite do for love.

[Christy Lee]

I have not. I will not post the picture. I don't know.

[Pat Godwin]

Please.

[Josh Arnold]

Those are some chilling words, isn't it? Hey, we gotta go to my friend's birthday party.

[Tom Griswold]

Why?

[Josh Arnold]

You know what? I don't know if I love you.

[Pat Godwin]

Now, I have seen Andy's picture, Christie's husband as abba, and it's not bad. But you don't want to post it.

[Christy Lee]

No, I don't think I want to post it.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, it's funny.

[Christy Lee]

It was. I've never seen him with that much hair.

[Josh Arnold]

He's a great. He's a great sport.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

He's a buzz cut kind of guy, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, well.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, it was.

[Josh Arnold]

Gosh darn it. Being drugged.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, man.

[Tom Griswold]

I'd want to be drugged whenever.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I did mean drag, but, yeah, you would want to be drunk.

[Tom Griswold]

Any Thorazine? Could I see the seating chart? I'd like the electric chair.

[Christy Lee]

That's why we got. We don't hang out out at this place. Because you guys are no fun.

[Josh Arnold]

I know. I know, man. I.

[Tom Griswold]

There are certain things I'm just not going to get on the bandwagon. I don't. I don't care for their music. I don't wanna. I know.

[Christy Lee]

It's cool.

[Pat Godwin]

Was it a real ABBA party?

[Christy Lee]

What do you mean?

[Pat Godwin]

Was there an ounce of coke in the back bedroom?

[Christy Lee]

No, sadly, there was no coke. Those days are over, you know, And

[Josh Arnold]

I have therapy today and thank goodness, because I'm gonna have to ask. Hey. When one of my friends talks about how she had her husband. Her husband had to go to this birthday party. I wanted to run into the hills. I can't even listen to people talk about relationship stuff. Fly, Fly to the party. I understand, but I.

[Christy Lee]

No, yeah, we had. It was a destination party.

[Josh Arnold]

Talking about how he had people over, and I almost had a panic attack.

[Christy Lee]

Have you ever had people over to your home? Like, oh, stop, stop, stop.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, me and Jimmy.

[Jeff Oskay]

Jimmy and I. I don't have people at my house.

[Josh Arnold]

It's not that bad, but it's.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, no, no.

[Tom Griswold]

We have. Do we have any more sporting news? I know we have a.

[Jeff Oskay]

We got. We got one of these stupid World record.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, boy.

[Jeff Oskay]

A Maltese chocolatier has broken his third Guinness World Record title by creating the world's longest chocolate sculpture.

[Josh Arnold]

Longest.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

This could go. This could get gross really quick.

[Jeff Oskay]

Andrew Farrugia crafted an ornate steam engine train measuring 181ft and 3 inches long. Toy shield, record time.

[Christy Lee]

Gorgeous.

[Tom Griswold]

It is. As detailed, that is. And it's huge.

[Josh Arnold]

It's like those trains you'll see at zoos or malls.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

This is even more ornate and it.

[Pat Godwin]

But it looks incredible.

[Jeff Oskay]

The creation is composed of one locomotive and 22 carriages each weighing up to 352 pounds and fully made of Belgian chocolate. Guinness notes the record breaking train is longer than the length of the an Olympic swimming pool. And not far off the wingspan of a 747 jumbo jet.

[Christy Lee]

What did they do with the chocolate after it was.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, they. They all leave pictures.

[Christy Lee]

Imagine all these kids running.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, they orphans. No, that train. The next stop is diabetes station.

[Josh Arnold]

A lot of wheelchair ramps.

[Mort Burke]

It is.

[Tom Griswold]

It is really elaborate. It's beautiful and huge. So Guinness then requires the sculpture be something sort of ornate and not just. You couldn't. For example. We couldn't do one that's a foot longer. That's just a big snake.

[Josh Arnold]

Right?

[Tom Griswold]

Right. We can claim it was a bowel movement dinosaur. That is something to see.

[Josh Arnold]

Now what. What would you first take a bite out of?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, that's a great question.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm going caboose.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh yeah, You're a. You're a caboose eater. Might want to run that by your therapist. I had a dream. I'm not sure what that means exactly, but

[Josh Arnold]

you had a dream about this

[Pat Godwin]

chocolate going dark chocolate going in a tunnel. I wonder what that's about.

[Tom Griswold]

Gay.

[Jeff Oskay]

How fun would it be when they're done with this to be one of the people with like a sledgehammer that gets to come in and break this thing apart?

[Christy Lee]

I'm serious. I wonder what they do. I mean, they melt it.

[Jeff Oskay]

The main train is as tall as a person.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Like, it's hard.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you. How long can it sit there before it would start getting infested with bugs?

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know. Yeah, that's a good question. Because the ants. Once the ants hear about this, these

[Pat Godwin]

young kids eat the caboose now, right?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, they started the caboose.

[Christy Lee]

They don't get pregnant.

[Josh Arnold]

Can you imagine if you were an ant and there was like a wheat thin on the sidewalk? You're like, hey guys, look what I found. And then another one shows up and goes. You're never gonna believe it.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a 300 foot chocolate train and

[Pat Godwin]

it comes to you.

[Tom Griswold]

Call every call everybody. You know Willy Wonka has public transportation. Wow.

[Pat Godwin]

That's insane.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. That was super cool.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, thank you.

[Christy Lee]

That was cool. You actually win on the.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

That wins for the whole year.

[Tom Griswold]

I. When you see it. Because at first I'm thinking, you know, come on. But it's. They can't eat it.

[Christy Lee]

Why?

[Josh Arnold]

It'd be a shame kind of not to.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, you sort of have to.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but I mean, usually when they do these food related records, it's always some, you know, they send it to an important food bank.

[Josh Arnold]

Right, right.

[Tom Griswold]

Someone doing something really great. I mean, are you gonna go? Hey, fellas, raise your hand if you have teeth. Okay. For those of you that don't, we're gonna melt them of the chocolate for you and, and pour it over your gruel here at the food bank. I like the fact that he's. They describe him as a Maltese chocolatier, which makes me wonder, can you get the Maltese Falcon in chocolate?

[Josh Arnold]

Maybe he's just a man. He's just a man from Malta. Well, it's an unanswerable question.

[Pat Godwin]

Malted chocolate milk maybe.

[Tom Griswold]

When I was in college, Falcon. When I was in college, I had. I had a copy of the Maltese Falcon on my desk.

[Christy Lee]

Of course you did.

[Josh Arnold]

It's full size.

[Christy Lee]

Why?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, and a replica.

[Tom Griswold]

A replica because it's one of the great movies of all time.

[Christy Lee]

All right. You know, if you ever seen Girls did that impress.

[Josh Arnold]

I had a replica of John Houston sitting in my. Hey, how are you?

[Tom Griswold]

There we go. Oh, my God. There is. There is a chocolate. Thank you, Chris. Christopher found that.

[Josh Arnold]

How about that?

[Tom Griswold]

If you're looking for a gift for me for Easter, it's right there.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, you wouldn't eat it.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I could put it in my house for 20 minutes until Kelly got home. Why star chocolate bird in your office?

[Pat Godwin]

Why is there slime on the carpet?

[Tom Griswold]

I'd have to. I'd have to bring it here. Isn't that beautiful?

[Josh Arnold]

It's like Sally Field coming home to Mrs. Robin Williams. The beginning of Mrs. Doubtfire.

[Pat Godwin]

It's like Michael Keaton and Mr. Mom.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, do you remember who. Who Humphrey Bogart portrays in the Maltese Falcon?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know that I've ever seen the Maltese Falcon.

[Tom Griswold]

You haven't lived. It's great. Okay, Sam Spade.

[Christy Lee]

Sam Spade.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, my God. It's a great movie. Okay, Sydney Greenstreet. Peter. Peter Laurie.

[Christy Lee]

I like Peter Laurie.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I like that.

[Tom Griswold]

He fat man. If you've seen the Falcon, okay, He's

[Christy Lee]

one of a kind, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. Now we switch gears here and we head over to the news desk where you'll find Christy Lee and her really kind of sexy black and white checked lumberjill.

[Christy Lee]

I appreciate all of that because I've had very little sleep And.

[Josh Arnold]

And a turtleneck. What's that?

[Jeff Oskay]

Hiding?

[Tom Griswold]

Abba Dabba do. Is it ABBA or abba?

[Christy Lee]

It's abba.

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry.

[Christy Lee]

God,

[Tom Griswold]

beat that in. I just can't. I dislike it so much I can't remember.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I know. No, I wish I did.

[Josh Arnold]

Do you like getting hickeys?

[Christy Lee]

No. I only had one in my entire life and it was like eighth grade or something.

[Josh Arnold]

Who gave it to you? Do you remember your first name of the boy who gave it to you?

[Christy Lee]

Alan.

[Tom Griswold]

Alan.

[Josh Arnold]

I love memories like that.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, he's probably listening.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, Alan. Good for you, buddy.

[Christy Lee]

A New York City based plastic surgeon is so called swag procedure. Promised to give you guys an enlarged penis. Dr. David Schaffer calls. Boy, there's a name.

[Tom Griswold]

What's his name?

[Christy Lee]

Schaefer calls S. Or Schaeffer calls S. H A F E R O.

[Josh Arnold]

Sounds like British slang for testicles, doesn't it?

[Christy Lee]

Time out. There was no space between Dr. Schaeffer and Kohls, so I just thought it was one name. Dr. Schaefer.

[Tom Griswold]

Dr. Schaefer calls.

[Christy Lee]

That's weird. I wonder how that happened.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I'm looking at the same thing. It doesn't. I have a space there.

[Pat Godwin]

You know what? He does not.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, I do. Josh, come here. You can be my witness.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no, that's all right.

[Tom Griswold]

Dr. David Schaefer calls his unusual offering

[Christy Lee]

the swag procedure which stands for Shaffer width and girth.

[Tom Griswold]

Now I have a question.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah?

[Tom Griswold]

When they name something after you.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. This isn't bad. I don't think you should be embarrassed by this. Really?

[Tom Griswold]

You'd want to be named after an artificial procedure to expand penises?

[Josh Arnold]

Kinda, yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

I had it done on my. On my. On my testicles. I got myself a swag bag.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, very nice. Now I disagree though. It should. It should be swig because the and should not be in an acronym.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, you're right.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know why we.

[Tom Griswold]

But acronyms are often forced or they'll skip words.

[Josh Arnold]

I know, it's not fair.

[Tom Griswold]

By the way, excuse me for one second. This relates to the Olympics in a way, because I had never heard of this. Is it pronounced hyaluronic acid?

[Christy Lee]

Hyaluronic acid. They put it into the male member.

[Tom Griswold]

And this was the whole thing with the ski jumpers. The ski jumpers were doing it so they could get the baggier pants.

[Christy Lee]

Yes. Hyaluronic acid is what they use in filler for ladies faces like Juvederm, that kind of stuff.

[Tom Griswold]

No need to bring religion into this he is right.

[Christy Lee]

He told the New York Post Dr. Schaeffer that they use the stiffest form of the hyaluronic acid for the filler patient.

[Tom Griswold]

Of course they do.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Why would you want the non stiff?

[Josh Arnold]

I'll have the jello.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Why do they call you Gumby Dick?

[Jeff Oskay]

Do they, like, go in from the side or do they go in from the top hole?

[Christy Lee]

I have no idea. But patients are advised to mold the filler in their penis in the day post injection so that it remains smooth.

[Tom Griswold]

See, this is where I'm seeing that scene in Ghost where she's.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Griswold]

So you're supposed to stuff your shaft.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. To keep it smooth. You're also discouraging.

[Tom Griswold]

This cannot be a good idea.

[Christy Lee]

You're also discouraged from having penetrative sex so as to not push the filler to the base because that would look.

[Tom Griswold]

Whoa. That'd be hilarious.

[Josh Arnold]

Here comes old Pyramid Ween.

[Tom Griswold]

So why do they call you a bell dog?

[Jeff Oskay]

You know those. The rings they put on the bats for the batting?

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Christy Lee]

What would you pay for a swag procedure?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I'm going $1,500.

[Christy Lee]

Dr. Shaver charges 10 to $20,000 with maintenance injections costing about half that amount.

[Tom Griswold]

So it's like buying a condo. You gotta pay a maintenance fee?

[Christy Lee]

Yes. I don't know how often you have to get the maintenance injection. I know with filler, it's about every

[Josh Arnold]

six months, so probably the same.

[Christy Lee]

Probably because filler gets in, it dissolves into your. You know.

[Tom Griswold]

But this. This. This only adds. What is it? Width and girth. Not length, not length. Right, right.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Doesn't width and girth sound like a law firm advertising on tv?

[Josh Arnold]

Have you been banned from buffets? Were you unable to fit on the roller coaster at the Cedar Point? There's money waiting for you.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, fatty.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, fatty.

[Christy Lee]

He goes right there.

[Tom Griswold]

So when they. When they inject this stuff, I assume it has to be a really thick needle, right?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, because it's not.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, because to me, this sounds like you're. It sounds like something you'd have in a caulking gun.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. It's not that thick.

[Josh Arnold]

I've had a gamma globulin shot before, and that's, you know, it's got to be similar. And that needle wasn't as thick.

[Tom Griswold]

I had a thing in my knee. What is that? You know, with a. Before I had knee surgery, they like a month.

[Christy Lee]

Steroids.

[Tom Griswold]

Two months before. No. What's. Whatever it's called Cartilage no, but it was. The needle was like a straw. And the guy goes, this is gonna hurt a little bit.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Looking at it, I think so.

[Tom Griswold]

Because, let's face it, needle technology is amazing these days. You know, a glid phlebotomist don't even know that they're in your vein.

[Christy Lee]

But, yeah, ask any woman who's gone through fertility issues, too. Those progesterone shots are not fun either with this thing.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, it has to be if it's putting a. Like a heavy, viscous goop into your male.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know how heavy and viscous. I would like to see. Like I said, I've never had filler.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. Send your pictures to Christy if you've had it done.

[Tom Griswold]

And, of course, the conversation. I think we've established this historically. Typically goes, the doctor says to the patient, you're going to feel a small prick. And the patient says, so are you, Doc. That's why I came here. This is primarily done by certain ethnicities, is it not?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know. Why are you looking at me?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that's why it's popular in Miami. And okay, just.

[Christy Lee]

Just check.

[Josh Arnold]

Who knows what awful rabbit hole he wants to jump.

[Tom Griswold]

I'd like to. I think the. The maintenance fee thing is the funniest part.

[Christy Lee]

This is in New York City. That's far from Miami, so, yeah, a

[Tom Griswold]

lot of foreigners live in there

[Josh Arnold]

and running it. Send your letters, too.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't want my tax dollars having to pay for this guy's flabby dong. That's all I'm saying. I know he's a socialist, but for God's sake, we'll try to get the show back on track.

[Jeff Oskay]

Like, when it goes away, do you then have loose skin? Like somebody who's lost weight?

[Christy Lee]

Stretched it out. I don't think.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, you don't really have loose skin. I mean, think about how much the penis fluctuates.

[Tom Griswold]

I think. I bet it would stay. What's the thing, Christy, that ladies do primarily? I think ladies with the. The lip thing where it looks.

[Christy Lee]

That's filler. That's exactly what we're talking about.

[Tom Griswold]

Does that go away? Is that the same.

[Christy Lee]

It will go away after some time. That's why they have to keep getting.

[Pat Godwin]

Can it stay away?

[Christy Lee]

Well, you could.

[Pat Godwin]

It's hideous.

[Christy Lee]

Some people like it. My lips are gone.

[Tom Griswold]

I remember one of the moms at the school where my kids go, and I hadn't seen her for a while, and I saw her, and I wasn't sure what she'd had more work done. Her boobs or her lips looked like she'd been hit in the face with a canoe paddle. It was not particularly attractive.

[Christy Lee]

It was very popular for a long time. I don't know a lot of women that do that as much anymore, you know.

[Pat Godwin]

I still see it.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Now coming up, what have you got over there, Christy?

[Christy Lee]

Coming up, we're going to talk about cannabis in a couple of different ways. And yes, the munchies are real kids. Also, armpit hair in the news today in a very bizarre way and how to keep your brain from declining. We'll have some stories about that.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, good. Because I know I have listening to

[Tom Griswold]

this program, of course, you having some declines of brain decline.

[Pat Godwin]

Don't notice it.

[Josh Arnold]

My words badly.

[Tom Griswold]

Hal, are you okay? Hal?

[Jeff Oskay]

Mary had a little.

[Tom Griswold]

We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

This is the Bob and Tom Show. Reach us toll free at 1-888-bobtom1 [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

Residence Day savings are happening now at the Home Depot with up to 40% off select appliances looking to upgrade your fridge. Check out LG's newest model serving up ice in all kinds of cubed crushed craft ice and now new mini craft ice straight from the dispenser. From cold brew to fizzy favorites, these refrigerators will have you entertaining like a pro. Shop president's day savings and get up to 40% off plus free delivery on select appliances like LG at the home Depot. Free delivery on appliance purchases of $1,498 or more offer valid February 5th through the 25th, US only. See store online for details.

[Tom Griswold]

Fairgrounds.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Thank you so much for choosing to be here with us. There's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Josh Arnold]

Josh Arnold, Pat Godwin's there. Hello. Jeff Oskay across the way.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hello, America.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. And beyond. Yeah, there's Ace Cosby. Hello, world. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Now we get, we get email from all over the world. We haven't gotten any from extraterrestrials.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, there's a chance, though, isn't there?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Josh Arnold]

They're listening.

[Christy Lee]

It goes out into the.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. No wonder, no wonder they haven't landed near here. We had a weird thing happen at the dinner table the other night.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. What happened?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, Christy has beautiful hair.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, kind.

[Jeff Oskay]

Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

You, you always have great color. It just looks great.

[Christy Lee]

And I don't Color my hair, by the way.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't. Yeah. And then Pat Godwin has a nice head of hair. Pat used to color his hair. We were talking about that.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And you stopped dyeing your hair a couple years ago.

[Pat Godwin]

And now I'm a silver fox.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And in your. Your television special, which was just released over the weekend, Is that correct?

[Pat Godwin]

On Saturday.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Your Dry Bar special. Where do people find that at dry bar?

[Pat Godwin]

YouTube comedy has all that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Excellent. You go to YouTube and Pat Godwin, Dry Bar.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Now, do you have the dark hair in that?

[Josh Arnold]

No, I have white hair.

[Pat Godwin]

But I'm fat.

[Tom Griswold]

It was like, what, 40 pounds ago, right? Yeah. Okay. But no, it's great stuff. Great music.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But you no longer dye your hair. You don't dye your beard, Jeffrey. You don't dye your hair. No, Ace, you don't.

[Jeff Oskay]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

Same. No.

[Christy Lee]

No dying in here.

[Tom Griswold]

And the reason I bring it up, my hair has turned white hair. It's probably from having children, but. So we're sitting at dinner.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And Finn goes, hey, dad, maybe you should get low lights.

[Christy Lee]

Low lights is when they darken.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I didn't say, what are low lights?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they'll darken your hair a little bit.

[Tom Griswold]

But I said, can you imagine the mocking? If I were to walk in with, like, dark Elvis sideburns and low lights, I would never hear the end of it. The whole show would be telling me

[Christy Lee]

how I'd like to see that.

[Tom Griswold]

Do people do this?

[Christy Lee]

People do low lights? Absolutely.

[Josh Arnold]

My dad did it to his mustache once when he was. He was in his 60s, and he showed up to an improv show I was doing with, you know, he came to watch, and his mustache was jet black, and it hadn't been for decades. And before I could say, he goes, I know, I know. He goes, the box said to leave it on for, like, an hour or whatever. And he goes, I did it. And nothing happened. Like, I guess you're supposed to wait a little bit. He goes, so I did it again.

[Tom Griswold]

This is like the guy eating. Eating.

[Jeff Oskay]

What are they, the edibles.

[Tom Griswold]

The edibles, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

It's always the same story. Well, I took one, didn't feel it, I think for an hour. Took another one. One. And that ended up in the prone position in a sewer.

[Josh Arnold]

But I. I loved that he didn't shave it off.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

He was like, I can't shave my mustache. I just have to wait until this.

[Tom Griswold]

I had a good friend who. A terrific guitar player, and I was doing a show intro, and I Remember, I was. It was at the fairgrounds. I remember walking down and. And looking around. Ah, look at the nice rides. I'll have to do these after the. And this. He walked up and he had this full wig on that he'd never had before. And I didn't know if I should say something. You know, what do you do?

[Christy Lee]

You don't say anything.

[Josh Arnold]

I think you have every right to, but, you know, oh, hey, by the way, I like the new look. Any something like that is totally fine.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's cool.

[Christy Lee]

That's cool. Without pointing out, hey, what's on your head?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I mean, it did look like. It did look like three pieces of brown cabbage had been repositioned.

[Josh Arnold]

Even if you don't like it, you can always go, so, how do you like the new look? You can ask them how. That way it's like, hey, I know what's going on here. I'm not a moron, and you. And I don't want you to be uncomfortable, so how about we just open this up?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I said that, so you would have said.

[Josh Arnold]

I would have said, hey, so how are you liking the new look? Yes. Yes. If one of my friends. Somebody I know, or even an acquaintance that I know decently. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

So do you ask technical questions like, do you sleep in that? Or do you have a. Do you have a. Like a skull in your closet?

[Josh Arnold]

If you even want. If you really want to, you can even say, hey, you know what? I'm considering doing what you're doing, and I have some questions. If you really want answers, you can bring it on to you.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

And if they're like, what are you talking about? Then you go, well, you're a maniac. And now we're not even.

[Tom Griswold]

See, that's the other thing. They're. They're acting like it's right, you know,

[Pat Godwin]

the wig on stage, but not off stage.

[Josh Arnold]

No kidding. Yeah. Now, would he allow people in his dressing room, do you think, to see him without it?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, he didn't care. He wore it on stage. He didn't wear it off stage.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Just Burt Reynolds talked about it all the time.

[Pat Godwin]

His wig.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, he would mention it on occasion. And he's in the movie Deliverance. That was, I think, the first thing where he didn't wear it. Great movie, by the way, if you've never seen it.

[Christy Lee]

I have seen that one.

[Tom Griswold]

You've seen Deliverance?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Great stuff, huh?

[Josh Arnold]

Not as many laughs as.

[Christy Lee]

Not a lot of laughs. You're right about that.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's Smokey.

[Christy Lee]

Plus, I don't ever want to get in a canoe.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, they don't. They should have done outtakes for Deliverance like they did with Smoking the Bandit and Cannonball Run.

[Christy Lee]

I love smoking the Bandit. I saw that in the theater not too long ago. A couple years now.

[Josh Arnold]

Isn't that a fun one?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah,

[Josh Arnold]

that's one of those movies where the idea is one sentence long and it's surprisingly funny. You gotta get that beer from here to here.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the pitch. Okay, we're gonna check in with Christy Lee at the Bob and Tom news desk. What's happening?

[Christy Lee]

New research out there suggests that crossword puzzles protect brain health and older adults better than exercise. Huh. Scientists at Georgetown University discovered that physical activity on its own had no significant effect on the rate of cognitive decline in middle aged and older adults. What did matter was whether people were reading, doing word games, staying mentally engaged, and mixing up their daily routines with a variety of different activities. So that would include maybe a daily walk. But make sure you do this. Gives you a stamp of approval for your damn wordle. I know, I know.

[Tom Griswold]

I do. I try to do a lot. Lot of crosswords too, but. Yeah, I. I'm kind of concerned because I know Jeff. Oscar, for example, does not do. He does wordle. We talk about it all the time. But he doesn't do it in the weekends.

[Jeff Oskay]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Which I think he does just to make me angry.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So I come in. I come in. Well, yesterday, my daughter. Coach, I got wordle in three. What? I got it in five. She's 13. What's happening here? But I.

[Christy Lee]

Words.

[Tom Griswold]

But I take it so seriously. I haven't missed it for a while. And if I do, I get. Get really mad at myself.

[Christy Lee]

Why do you take it so seriously?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know. It's. That's why I've got to talk to a doctor about it.

[Christy Lee]

I have an addictive personality.

[Jeff Oskay]

I have a question for you guys. How do you feel about this? So I was on a plane not too long ago, and the man next to me, grown man in a suit, was doing a seek and find in a book of seek and finds.

[Christy Lee]

I love seek and find, so.

[Tom Griswold]

And I. I get the circle.

[Jeff Oskay]

The words, a bunch of. Yeah, you circle and they're backwards and four year olds do.

[Josh Arnold]

I get it, man. You're not. If somebody handed you a highlights magazine and you were like, hey, do this so you can find you.

[Jeff Oskay]

Maybe if I was high at home, but not in public, on a plane, in front of other grown adults, But

[Tom Griswold]

I think this is.

[Josh Arnold]

I have a theory about this guy.

[Tom Griswold]

This is what this is about though. This cognitive exercise is good for you.

[Josh Arnold]

Anything. Maybe to get his mind off a flight. There's a chance that that guy just needed something simple.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Otherwise he was going to jump out of his head.

[Christy Lee]

I wonder what the difference is because I am addict. Not addicted, but like flying. Last night I use. I do Sudoku or whatever it's called. I like the numbers over the letters.

[Josh Arnold]

Ah, yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's a respectable game for an adult.

[Tom Griswold]

I think you've nailed it. I bet it was to take his mind off flying and. But at the point of this psychological study is that this is really good for your brain to be doing stuff like this instead of just sitting, watching TV all the time.

[Josh Arnold]

Absolutely. Now some doctors have to be going, oh, geez, still take a daily walk, please. Old people.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh yeah. You gotta do both. Lift some weights, etc.

[Christy Lee]

Absolutely.

[Tom Griswold]

I wonder if people, you know, Will. Shorts. We've talked to Will, of course, Puzzle editor of the New York Times, etc. Etc. I wonder if people get so mad at him. I'd love to see his mail. People that like Cross. I remember I got really pissed when they had the. The answer was for microphones. The answer was Mike. M I K E. That's wrong. That's wrong. It's M I C. It is M I C. And I thought, am I going to be the dick that writes him a letter?

[Josh Arnold]

I saw M I K E and a really well respected award winning novel.

[Christy Lee]

As in reference to a microphone.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. And I'm wondering if there's been some switch because that thing saw ten editors and so.

[Jeff Oskay]

I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm with you. It's Mic.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But I could only imagine how funny the letters he would get would be.

[Christy Lee]

That's supposed to be mit.

[Josh Arnold]

Will.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm gonna come get you.

[Christy Lee]

Coming up. Oh, sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

The problem is I'm getting that way.

[Christy Lee]

That's the thing I was gonna say. Yeah. Don't throw that. That too far.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Coming up, we have cannabis in the news. And we have Taco Bell in the news.

[Josh Arnold]

And Jess has brought in cannabis and Taco Bell for us to try. Delicious. Real weird.

[Tom Griswold]

We have what I call Mr. Obvious News. When you see this headline, I. I often wonder who's on these committees that awards these people hundreds of thousands of dollars to do things that are so incredibly obvious. And we'll tell you what. We'll have a little episode of the Mr. Obvious show as well. That's a Good reason to stick around. To the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios where this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show, sponsored in part by Java House, the official coffee and refreshments of the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

Welcome to the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Thank you for joining us. There's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Josh Arnold]

Brad Godwin's there.

[Pat Godwin]

Hello.

[Josh Arnold]

Jeff Oskay. How are you?

[Jeff Oskay]

Hey, man.

[Josh Arnold]

Ace Cosby's across the way.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm Josh Arnold and Tom, I know the Olympics are over, but congratulations to all involved. It was a wonderful presentation done by NBC and all of the their affiliates

[Tom Griswold]

and Paralympics up now.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's gonna be cool too.

[Tom Griswold]

They'll keep, they'll keep the facility up and running. And you say the next Winter Games

[Christy Lee]

are in French Alps. Why don't we do the show from there?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

The cool thing is we'd be done by six in the morning and then.

[Josh Arnold]

Is it 2034? They're in salt Lake.

[Christy Lee]

Yep, that's exactly right. Salt Lake City.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm going to start saving up now to get to go to one of those hockey games. Wouldn't that be fun?

[Christy Lee]

It would be fun.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That'll be cool.

[Jeff Oskay]

Did your daughters like the, the figure skating girl, what's her name? Christie?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, my daughter was super into that

[Tom Griswold]

with the multi grade hair. How do you do that, by the way?

[Christy Lee]

Oh my gosh, Tom. I think it's just, it's pretty.

[Tom Griswold]

Spray paint. No, no, no.

[Josh Arnold]

I saw the ha. Dress her on TV doing. She's adorable and she's so skilled.

[Jeff Oskay]

Right. And she had a great story about coming back and you know, she skates

[Christy Lee]

because she loves it, not because she really wanted.

[Tom Griswold]

It was just she's not in the back room vomiting.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Did you guys watch do they call it the gala? What do they call that? The, the show that they do Saturday night.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Closing ceremonies.

[Josh Arnold]

No, the just like figure skaters.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Jeff Oskay]

It kind of just came out and had fun.

[Josh Arnold]

That is so great because the pressure is off of them. You can just see what they do and that was cool.

[Christy Lee]

Do they tour like the gymnasts do after the Olympics?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, I would actually go.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I think that'd be fun.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I agree. That'll be fun. Now we have Christy Lee at the news desk. Have we missed anything?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah. We were talking about crossword puzzles and how they're better for your brain. A new study suggests cannabis in middle aged and older adults might be linked to Healthier brain aging.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm skeptical.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's right,

[Tom Griswold]

I am. I find this to be.

[Christy Lee]

Researchers found adults 40 to 77 who used cannabis tended to have larger volumes in key brain regions, particularly area rich in cannabinoid receptors, along with stronger connection between those regions.

[Josh Arnold]

Brought to you by the Willie Nelson Foundation.

[Tom Griswold]

Someone who uses the phrase cannabinoid receptors doesn't smoke pot. Okay, I'm just. I'm just saying this. What is it? Does it help you sit through a fish concert?

[Christy Lee]

Cannibal users. Cannibal users. Did you hear me say that? That's a. Cannibal users. Cannabis users also scored better on six of nine cognitive tests, including memory.

[Tom Griswold]

Which one of these has Jerry Garcia in it?

[Christy Lee]

Memory, reasoning and executive function.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

This goes against everything we've heard. All the other science, especially with memory

[Christy Lee]

researcher Dr. Anika Gua.

[Tom Griswold]

Right now I'm really skeptical.

[Christy Lee]

Noted that aging is typically associated with brain shrinkage or atrophy, which can increase dementia. The strong results, though, were seen in moderate users. By the way, they stress that more study is needed and say future research may also examine psychedelic mushrooms.

[Jeff Oskay]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Huh.

[Christy Lee]

So I was in the liquor store the other day and this is in Florida, not here. So I don't know. Check local, state. There was a can of THC and mushrooms. It was a drink that combined the two of them. That didn't seem like a good idea.

[Pat Godwin]

You're in Florida?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

What?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, it was like.

[Jeff Oskay]

It was like a. I'm surprised it didn't have bath salts in it.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So is it.

[Christy Lee]

It was right.

[Tom Griswold]

Psychedelic mushrooms or.

[Christy Lee]

It was right next to the like vodka seltzers, you know, like the white claws and stuff.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't all that stuff going to be illegal in a year?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't there some weird legislation that's going to make all the state to state

[Christy Lee]

or is that a federal law?

[Jeff Oskay]

I think it's federal.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, is it?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Unlike the Delta 8 type stuff on the fake weed, basically.

[Tom Griswold]

But it's going to put, I mean, thousands of people out of work and it's going to close all those stores. I've read.

[Christy Lee]

But I was shocked to see those together. I thought. I was tempted, I got to tell you, but I didn't buy any.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Been a long time, but it might have been fun.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you were on a trip.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I was on a trip.

[Tom Griswold]

Might as well make it. Make it out of me.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, no, man. I think anyone who has ever talked to an old hippie knows this is bull crap. I know?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. I mean, I love old hippies.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, they're fun, but I'm not going to them for facts and knowledge.

[Josh Arnold]

No, I really don't feel like if I handed them them a quiz that they're gonna get more answers right than non.

[Tom Griswold]

Old hippie is the answer Beavis and Butthead? No.

[Christy Lee]

Do you have a song, Pat?

[Pat Godwin]

Do you want to hear my cute little weed song? Yeah, you know you like it.

[Christy Lee]

I do.

[Josh Arnold]

All right, here we go.

[Pat Godwin]

I was able to do this up in Ohio where it's legal. Oh, it went over great. Here we go.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Sing along if you want to. Everywhere I go it smells like weed at the grocery store it's guaranteed Even standing in line at the dmv Everywhere I go it smells like weed. You know it does on the way to work it's that reefer I smell. I smell pot hot at my hotel Ganjas in the air on every street at the gym and my church smells like weed. I went to Tacoma, there was a marijuana Roma, Sanibel and Captiva oh, you know it smells like cannabis sativa Smells like cannabis sativa On a plane ride home it reeks of weed. The tsa, they all agreed My suitcase smells like stems and seeds Everywhere I go it smells like weed. My hair and my clothes smell smell like weed. Maybe I shouldn't smoke so much weed.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much, Pat. Very nice. Coming up, we have a part two

[Christy Lee]

of our weed hunk of our marijuana hunk.

[Jeff Oskay]

Ah.

[Tom Griswold]

Which I'm saying is from the Mr. Obvious Institute, when you hear this story. And we're also going to feature an episode of the famous Mr. Obvious show coming up in just a second. Now, Christy Lee is well known as a car girl. We determined that she's had more automobiles than all the rest of us over the years. And your current automobile, the one that you love so much, the Hyundai. And I bring it up because the Hyundai getaway sales event up and running right now. Great deals on Hyundai's most popular models, including the suv, Hyundai Santa Fe or Santa Fe hybrid.

[Christy Lee]

Or my favorite it the one I currently drive, the Tucson hybrid or the Tucson. And don't forget that bold and stylish Elantra, loaded with the latest tech. And over the weekend, I did have an Uber and they were driving the Ionic 5, which was really cool. It's an all electric vehicle. And if you want even bigger one, go with the Ionic nine.

[Josh Arnold]

Isn't it Ionic?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Doesn't it sound like a band, though?

[Christy Lee]

Ionic 5.

[Tom Griswold]

The Ionic 5.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Get to your local Hyundai dealer and get away with a deal you'll love during the Hyundai getaway sales event. Where do they find that?

[Tom Griswold]

Tom, I was just trying to think of a joke here. I thought of the ionic pentameter.

[Josh Arnold]

Boy, we're really getting.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll do a sonnet, 14 lines, 10 words each.

[Christy Lee]

You don't have to do any of that. Just go to Hyundai USA.com for all the details and make way to the Hyundai getaway sales event.

[Tom Griswold]

All right. And Christy, a big fan, I really am. We've been talking a lot about the Hyundai Palisade hybrid and the amazing range and that cool captain's chair thing so you can get to the way back. No cleats in the seats. Check out all this stuff by going to HyundaiUSA.com or just head over to your local Hyundai dealer and take a test drive. See if that feels good on you when you get behind the wheel. Should be fun. Now, coming up, a little bit of Mr. Obvious for you coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Also coming up, comedian Morris Fort Burke. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Hello to Joe, by the way, at O'Reilly, who helped me out yesterday. Thank you, Joe.

[Christy Lee]

Hi, Joe.

[Tom Griswold]

And this still is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey there. It's the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. We appreciate you being here. There's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Well, hi. Josh Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi.

[Josh Arnold]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

Jeff Oskay over there.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hello.

[Josh Arnold]

There's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Josh Arnold. And Tom Lot going on this early in the week.

[Tom Griswold]

Indeed.

[Josh Arnold]

Talking weed.

[Jeff Oskay]

Speaking of which, I just got a letter. It says perhaps the suit wearing passenger sitting next to Oscar was doing search and find word puzzles to take his mind off the bearded homeless man wreaking a pot in the seat next to him. Now that is a thought.

[Tom Griswold]

Once again, we were talking about word games and how they are apparently associated with keeping your cognitive facilities functioning.

[Josh Arnold]

You got to work out those brain muscles.

[Tom Griswold]

And then we had a news story that I'm very skeptical of in which they were saying marijuana use can expand your brain moderate.

[Christy Lee]

And I would like to know what that moderate definition is.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. What is the three cups of coffee a day of weed, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But we had another one, another study that I think I this I call this is from the Mr. Obvious Institute. You got it over there.

[Christy Lee]

Scientists say the munchies are not just imaginary, but a real cognitive response to cannabis use.

[Josh Arnold]

Really?

[Christy Lee]

Researchers at Washington State University and the University of Calgary discovered that human participants who used marijuana during the experiment ate significantly more food. Study leader Kerry Cutler noted that though participants had a wide variety of snacks to choose from, the number one thing intoxicated people gravitated toward was. Anybody want to get. Yes, Tom.

[Josh Arnold]

I was going to say chips, taco.

[Christy Lee]

Beef jerky.

[Josh Arnold]

No way. Yeah, I've never.

[Christy Lee]

She added that water was also high on the list of desirable items.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, well,

[Tom Griswold]

again, science marches on.

[Christy Lee]

Scientists hope the research can help patients who suffer from lack of appetite due to disorders or treatments like in the medical field, like chemotherapy. The study was published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay, so there was a reason they. They did this stuff.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, I got you. They found that of all the food options, spanning carbohydrates to protein to fatty snack foods, some appealed more than others. Beef jerky was number one. Honestly, I would have thought chocolate chips. Chocolate chips and then Rice Krispie treats, things like that would have been right up there. But no, beef jerky was what people went to.

[Josh Arnold]

That's interesting.

[Christy Lee]

That is interesting.

[Tom Griswold]

Must be that Canadian weed.

[Christy Lee]

Must be the salt.

[Josh Arnold]

Why is that?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, they said it was University of Calgary. Isn't Canadian weed considered the Rolls Royce of Jeff?

[Josh Arnold]

Really?

[Jeff Oskay]

I think so.

[Josh Arnold]

How do they. What's different about it? Do they.

[Jeff Oskay]

I think they just have better soil growing conditions.

[Christy Lee]

It is interesting, but.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, again, it's the Mr. Obvious Institute. Really? That the munchies are real.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I don't know that anybody was arguing.

[Jeff Oskay]

I've never seen any hippie though go for like. They usually go for like combos or. I've never seen them go for a bag of Jack links.

[Josh Arnold]

Exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

But I mean when I say the Mr. Iverson Institute. A friend of mine was dealing with some pretty serious, pretty serious issues and involving chemotherapy and stuff. And, and he. The only thing that was helping him was pot. So you know, who knows? But. So then that was 10 years ago. Pre. Semi. Legalization. But speaking of the Mr. IAS institute, I thought it would be time, based on certain things that are happening in the world around us, to feature this exciting episode of the Mr. Obvious Show. Well, you'll see why it's appropriate to be playing this right now.

[Pat Godwin]

Hello, welcome to Mr.

[Mort Burke]

Obvious Show. I am your host, Mr. Obvious.

[Jeff Oskay]

Let's a take.

[Mort Burke]

Take a call Mr. Obvious Show.

[J]

Hello, is this Mr.

[Tom Griswold]

Obvious?

[Mort Burke]

Speaking.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi, Mr.

[J]

Obvious, longtime listener, first time caller.

[Mort Burke]

Huh?

[Tom Griswold]

Please, how may I help?

[J]

Well, Mr. Obvious, I bought this cabin. It's up there in Frigid Falls, Minnesota.

[Mort Burke]

Oh yeah, Good for You?

[J]

Oh, it's, it's fabulous. I got it, got it back in early December and man, it was just perfect.

[Mort Burke]

I.

[J]

This cabin, I mean, this is my lifelong dream, you know.

[Mort Burke]

Do I detect a note of sorrow in your voice, caller?

[J]

Man, you are some kind of perceptive.

[Mort Burke]

Did something happen to your cabin, caller, please.

[J]

Well, yeah, I guess you could say that, Mr.

[Tom Griswold]

Obvious.

[Mort Burke]

Uh huh.

[J]

Somebody stole it.

[Mort Burke]

Someone stole your entire cabin?

[J]

Oh, apparently so, Mr. Obvious. I couldn't believe it. I went back up there this last weekend and it was gone.

[Mort Burke]

Now caller, there must be some sort of logical explanation. An entire cabin can't just disappear.

[J]

Well, I wouldn't think so, but I sure as heck can't figure it out. Mr.

[Mort Burke]

Obvious. Caller, don't take offense, but are you sure you remember where your cabin is located?

[J]

Oh yes sir, Mr. Obvious, I'm real good with directions. I don't know if you know this, I was, I was a navigator in the war.

[Mort Burke]

Which war, caller?

[J]

You know, the big one, the one against West Vietnam. Collar Yamasdrops.

[Mort Burke]

That was North. North Vietnam.

[J]

I guess that explains lack of anti aircraft.

[Mort Burke]

Please, back to the cabin. Caller, you went back to Minnesota this weekend, right?

[Jeff Oskay]

Right.

[Mort Burke]

And your cabin was gone.

[Josh Arnold]

Exactly.

[Mort Burke]

Did you talk to anyone up there who might have seen anything?

[J]

Well, I talked to one guy, he was out boating. He said he didn't see a thing.

[Mort Burke]

You said boating, right? Is there a lake where your cabin is located?

[J]

Oh yes sir, Mr. Obvious.

[Mort Burke]

Caller, did you fish at your cabin when you were there in February?

[J]

Oh, I sure did, Mr. O.

[Tom Griswold]

It was great.

[J]

Caught me a big old mess of fish.

[Tom Griswold]

You did, huh?

[J]

Oh yeah, all I did, I cut a hole right there in the floor of my cabin. There was fish swimming down there, all over the place. It was great.

[Mort Burke]

Caller, you cut a hole in the floor of your cabin, dropped a line and caught a fish.

[J]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[Mort Burke]

Caller, did you see the lake in February?

[J]

You know, that's the weird part, Mr. Obvious, I didn't even know there was a lake there, you know, in February.

[Mort Burke]

Yeah, yeah. Caller, how big was this cabin of yours?

[J]

Oh, it was pretty small, Just, just room for me and you know, maybe one other guy, but not much else.

[Mort Burke]

Got a theory, caller?

[Tom Griswold]

What's that?

[Mort Burke]

You know where your stupid cabin is?

[J]

Well, no, that's why I was calling. You figure out where some would have taken my cabin?

[Mort Burke]

It's at the bottom of the lake. Caller, you had a nice fishy cabin. You didn't cut a hole in the floor of the cabin, for Pete's sake. You Cut a hole in the ice the cab was sitting on. When the ice melted, your cabin sank.

[Christy Lee]

It sank.

[Mort Burke]

It sank.

[J]

So what are you saying? Like it was built on a quicksand?

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's warmer weather.

[Mort Burke]

Water melted. Your cabin's at the bottom of the lake. You were supposed to drag it off the ice when the weather started getting warmer.

[J]

Ice fishing cabin.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[J]

I never made the connection.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[J]

Man, that's a shame. I. I just bought a brand new living room suit for the place.

[Mort Burke]

Join us again next time.

[J]

Not to even mention the big screen

[Mort Burke]

TV on the Mr. Obvious Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Goodbye. It's always a great pleasure here in the Bob and Tom program. Now perhaps it's time to get a little history going. What do you think?

[Christy Lee]

Think?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Why not?

[Christy Lee]

Sure, why not?

[Tom Griswold]

And today is February something. Okay. I'm actually going to teach you something.

[Christy Lee]

It's February 23rd, right?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

We like to learn.

[Tom Griswold]

This is one of those things. One of those names I've been seeing most of my life and I never knew how to pronounce it. And it's always one of those things. So I finally did a little bit of homework.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

W E, B. Du.

[Josh Arnold]

Du. Block.

[Christy Lee]

Dubois.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

What do they say?

[Tom Griswold]

It's technically phonetically, correctly to pronounce it. W, E, B.

[Josh Arnold]

Du Bois.

[Tom Griswold]

Du Bois.

[Josh Arnold]

Huh? Du Bois.

[Tom Griswold]

Rhymes with really interesting. Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

And what did he do exactly?

[Tom Griswold]

He's the French Spider man.

[Josh Arnold]

Isn't that something? Web?

[Tom Griswold]

W, E, B. It's Dubois. He did a bunch of great stuff, including founded the naacp, which can be a little awkward these days because it

[Christy Lee]

stands for national association of Colored People.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, the fact. Yeah, that phrase is. I'm surprised they don't switch it around and make it to naa.

[Josh Arnold]

You hate when people do that. You don't want changes.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, the good news is by calling it that, the Hulk was able to join up.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. Yeah. And those people from Avatar.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. And Smurfs.

[Josh Arnold]

They're all in there.

[Tom Griswold]

Is everybody scared yet? We did learn something.

[Christy Lee]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

Du Bois. All right. Okay. Very good.

[Josh Arnold]

I remember learning about him. I obviously didn't remember what I learned, but he was always. And particularly in February.

[Tom Griswold]

I thought it was a hip hop band, really. WEB And Du Bois.

[Josh Arnold]

Du Bois. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's do this one. Oh, I forgot to mention why I was mentioning it. Happy birthday.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

A great. A great man. Born in 1868. My God, can you imagine the crap he had to deal with? How about this one? Happy birthday to Christy. This is in quiz form. Born in 1889. Victor Fleming. Anyone? Any Victor Fleming.

[Christy Lee]

Fleming's great, great grandfather.

[Tom Griswold]

Thinking about Peggy these days. Apparently the director of, among other things, the wizard of Oz.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I knew that. Did you know that?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Did he direct Gone with the Wind?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

One of two, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Something like that. Yeah,

[Tom Griswold]

but that had to be a lot of fun, you know, 300 drunk little people running around.

[Josh Arnold]

There are no little people in Gone with the Wind.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, that's my favorite part.

[Jeff Oskay]

Part.

[Pat Godwin]

Some babies, didn't they?

[Tom Griswold]

Frankly, I don't give a damn.

[Josh Arnold]

That's Gone with the Breeze because it doesn't take as strong.

[Tom Griswold]

You know what the name Victor Fleming means?

[Christy Lee]

Victor Fleming?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, it. Winner of mucus. Ah, that's the translation.

[Josh Arnold]

Winner.

[Pat Godwin]

Winner.

[Josh Arnold]

Victor,

[Tom Griswold]

I told you you were going to be learning a lot of stuff. Let's see. Oh, Peter Fonda. Happy birthday. Born in 1940. No longer with us.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, Peter Fonda. Oh, no, that's Henry Fonda all right.

[Pat Godwin]

That wrong too.

[Tom Griswold]

Famous for Easy Rider among many other great movie.

[Josh Arnold]

Yuli's Gold. Did you ever see that Beekeeper? Yeah, that's a cool movie.

[Tom Griswold]

And he was in. God, what was it called?

[Christy Lee]

One Golden Pond.

[Tom Griswold]

No, one of those Tammy. Like Tammy and the Doctor or something. One of those. Those crappy 60s thing.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, Debbie Reynolds. Those. Yeah, those Tammy movies.

[Christy Lee]

We're talking about Peter fonda. Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

1951. Okay, this is for you. You'll know this. You'll know this one. Ed Jones, born in 1951. Had a nickname. Too Tall Ed. Too Tall Jones. Six Foot Nine.

[Christy Lee]

Heck, I knew that.

[Tom Griswold]

In the NFL. Of course. Of course, if he were in the NBA, he'd be Ed. Average height. Ed Sam. Just as tall as everybody else. This one I didn't know. Born in 1960. Naruhito, anybody?

[Christy Lee]

Was he the emperor of Japan?

[Tom Griswold]

Very good, very good. Christy. Did you know that or just guess?

[Christy Lee]

No, I knew that.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I thought it was one of the Pokemon guys.

[Pat Godwin]

I thought he's an unknown.

[Tom Griswold]

Boy, have you got the. You got the Naruhito guy. Nice.

[Christy Lee]

He thought he was an Oingo.

[Tom Griswold]

I like a. I like an hour.

[Pat Godwin]

I just wanted to say. Oh, and

[Tom Griswold]

Christy, I'm going to give you a softball here.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, boy.

[Tom Griswold]

Born in 1965. Kristen Davis.

[Christy Lee]

Kristen Davis. Oh, she was in Sex in the City.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

You know, I've only watched one episode

[Josh Arnold]

and what was her lucky name?

[Christy Lee]

Her character's name was Number three. I know it wasn't Samantha. I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

She's actually my least favorite. There's something about her character that Bothers me.

[Jeff Oskay]

Which one is she?

[Josh Arnold]

She is not Samantha Miranda or what?

[Tom Griswold]

Dark hair?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Is it Charlotte?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

How many episodes of that did you watch?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, I've seen Ellen Mullah.

[Josh Arnold]

What? Yeah, you've seen them all of sad.

[Tom Griswold]

So obviously you had to be with the new seasons.

[Jeff Oskay]

No notable.

[Tom Griswold]

You were the woman that made you watch it.

[Josh Arnold]

No, not at all. I. I just knew women watched them

[Tom Griswold]

and so I wanted to be able to converse with them.

[Josh Arnold]

Absolutely. It worked. I remember I went to see the Sex and the City movie. The first one by myself. Nobody I knew wanted to go. And I walked up to the box office and there were a bunch of movies out. And I go, one for Sex and the City, please. And the girl looked at me and she goes, you know, the movie Wanted starts at the same time, which is like an action movie. And I go, yeah, no, I want to see Sex in the City. And then the first laugh line in that movie, I laughed out loud. And it was. I was the only guy in there with like 70 women.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, nice.

[Josh Arnold]

And I was sitting in the back. I laughed out loud and half of the audience turned and looked at me. We didn't know there was a guy in here. I like that movie. The second one, I did not care for this latest.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, it's. I only made it through two episodes.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Same.

[Christy Lee]

Is Sarah Jessica Parker in that one. The reboot.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Jeff Oskay]

And somehow it went more woke.

[Josh Arnold]

I just think that was possible. Same.

[Christy Lee]

Are you kidding?

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Horrible.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Born on this date in 1965. Michael Dell.

[Pat Godwin]

Michael.

[Christy Lee]

Michael Dell.

[Pat Godwin]

Computer mag.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Like, no, no. Famous farmer.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, farmer.

[Josh Arnold]

Farmer named Adele and Farmer in the Dell.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, God. But that was his love. The farmer in the dell. Don't make fun of incredibly rich people. Let's see. Oh, this is a good one.

[Josh Arnold]

Do we know who Michael Dell was?

[Tom Griswold]

The computer guy. Sorry.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Pat was right. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I thought you were making a joke. You were making a joke and you got lucky.

[Christy Lee]

He just doesn't know who he is,

[Pat Godwin]

so he's saying, I got lucky.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Born in 1981. He played Olaf and Frozen.

[Josh Arnold]

Josh Gad.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Good job.

[Josh Arnold]

And he'll be.

[Tom Griswold]

Not his real name. It's real.

[Christy Lee]

No, Josh Gad Is dad flies.

[Tom Griswold]

No, his real first name is Chad.

[Josh Arnold]

Chad Gad. How about that?

[Jeff Oskay]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

That made him mad. Is Vlad Gad.

[Josh Arnold]

He's behind Spaceballs 2 coming out soon. He is.

[Pat Godwin]

His name is fading. It's only a fed.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I'm glad.

[Tom Griswold]

1983. Happy birthday. Emily Blunt.

[Christy Lee]

No, I like her I have a poem

[Tom Griswold]

involved. Bundt cake. Okay, let's move on here. What happened? Oh, this is important. 1455, Mr. Oskay.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, great.

[Tom Griswold]

Who printed his first Bible? 1455?

[Josh Arnold]

King James.

[Tom Griswold]

No. Good guess.

[Josh Arnold]

I would have guessed that, too.

[Christy Lee]

No, not Gideon's Bible.

[Pat Godwin]

1455.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. This is famous. Come on.

[Christy Lee]

You guys know this king?

[Tom Griswold]

His. I'll tell you what. I'll give you a hint. His great, great, great, great, great grandson, I believe was in one of the Police Academy movies.

[Pat Godwin]

First.

[Jeff Oskay]

Gutenberg. Yes. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Steve Gutenberg.

[Jeff Oskay]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

His great, great. It was Johannes Gutenberg.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Printed his. Printed the Bible. That. That's. Isn't that like the first use of the printing press?

[Josh Arnold]

I think so, but the ink was

[Pat Godwin]

still expensive even back then.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, wasn't it? You might as well just buy a new printing press.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. Yeah. You got. He got the one done and had to go buy a print. 18. Has anybody ever been to this place? 1836, the start of the battle of the Alamo.

[Christy Lee]

I have.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You ever seen it?

[Josh Arnold]

I have.

[Tom Griswold]

It is surprisingly small.

[Christy Lee]

Small? It's like a little Taco Bell.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's. It.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

You.

[Tom Griswold]

You think it's going to be this

[Josh Arnold]

huge fortress and it's weird. It' surrounded by gas stations, building chicken.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. But it's cool. It's a good tour.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. The.

[Josh Arnold]

Go to the basement and.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you know who this is? Maybe. I don't. Maybe Ace will know this. Do you know who the world's expert in the Alamo is?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Griswold]

One of them.

[Pat Godwin]

Billy Bob.

[Christy Lee]

Billy Bob Thornton?

[Tom Griswold]

Nobody?

[Josh Arnold]

No idea.

[Tom Griswold]

Phil Collins.

[Jeff Oskay]

How did you not know that? Ace, how did you know that?

[Josh Arnold]

In fact, that was the original lyrics of Al Alamo. I don't know why they change. They changed it because the rental car place sued him.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

At the end of the tour, they go. That's all. At the end of the tour, they sing.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. In that movie they had some m. Fake dialogue where the guy goes. So before we start shooting the tunnel to get out of here. They finished building that. See, Christy, there was no. There was.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And the only reason.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

The rental car place is still there, which is weird. The Alamo, Isn't it?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I remember.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's see. That's pretty much it. Oh. In 1999, Eminem released the famous Slim Shady. Love it.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah. I do, too.

[Josh Arnold]

Slim Shady ep. Is that what it's called?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that was wall to wall.

[Tom Griswold]

I know.

[Christy Lee]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

He seemed pretty angry for a guy.

[Pat Godwin]

It was funny.

[Tom Griswold]

Named after kind of A fun candy coated chocolate.

[Josh Arnold]

You know why he's called Eminem?

[Tom Griswold]

Because his name is Marshall something. Mathers.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, exactly. Very good.

[Tom Griswold]

And he's Jerry Mather's cousin. Leave it to Beaver.

[Christy Lee]

People know that he grew up in a trailer park. He's a trailer.

[Tom Griswold]

I think I'm correct. I think Phil Collins owns more Alamo memorabilia than anybody. What? Because I read books? I mean, you guys should educate yourself.

[Josh Arnold]

I love those. Kids are boxing that up as we speak. I don't have to worry about it in three weeks away. So they have to deal with it.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm a huge Phil Collins fan.

[Pat Godwin]

Clean up at the end.

[Josh Arnold]

You're telling me the reaper's not breathing down his neck?

[Pat Godwin]

You don't leave all that stuff for your children.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Josh Arnold]

I can love them and still look at him and go, jeez.

[Tom Griswold]

Tick tock.

[Pat Godwin]

Who wants the Alamo man?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, God, I could be wrong. Let's see now. I want to remind you that your house is much like the Alamo. You want to protect it better than they did. That's why you want to get simply saved. If they didn't simply save at the Alamo.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, they may have been just before

[Tom Griswold]

those guys showed up. And go, we see you go back,

[Josh Arnold]

we're calling the cops.

[Tom Griswold]

Simply say, we've been talking about it for a long time. Chick brought it to our attention years ago. He came in one Monday morning and he goes, hey, over the weekend I put in a security system and he did it himself. And Simplisafe is designed so that you can do it yourself if you want. He now has a staggering 11 cameras. He has a board to control this. It looks like he's showing the Olympics. He's got everything on camera. We have it right here in our studio with a bunch of cameras and traditional security systems. They're kind of like, well, we'll help you after the. After the horse is out of the barn. The idea with Simplisafe now, they have a bunch of cool stuff, including something in which they, I guess they call it active guard outdoor protection. They can see what's on camera. They've got guys watching it that can alert the police and also alert the would be perps, if you will, and say, hey, by the way, you're on camera, we see you if there's someone lurking out there and they can prevent them and pretty much get them to get the hell out of there. No long term contracts with Simplisafe. No cancellation fees. Monitoring plans start affordably at about a buck a day. And once Again, you can install it yourself. Find out all the options that you've got by going to simplisafetom.com and by the way, something really interesting going on today. 50% off. A new SimpliSafe system with professional [e-mail] Once again, it's simplisafetom.com. there's no safe like SimpliSafe. Coming up. Christy, what do you got over there?

[Christy Lee]

Coming up, we're going to talk about Taco Bell in an interesting way. We also have armpit hair in the news and one mistake you might be making in modern dating.

[Josh Arnold]

1.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I defer to you. We have. We'll have a good solid being honest. 10 minutes. Also coming up, I'm looking forward to talking to Camille, comedian and actor Mort Burke. That'll be fun. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom show contest rules, go to bob&tom.comcont contest-rules or just scroll down to the bottom of the page and see contest rules. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

Yo, it's the Bob and Tom Show. How the heck are you? We're live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Josh Arnold]

Matt Godwin's there.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

Jeff Oskay across the way. What up, dog? Yeah, there's Ace Cosby. Howdy. I'm Josh Arnold. Tom, what do you have for us?

[Tom Griswold]

I got a couple quick letters.

[Christy Lee]

First I have to do the Tom was right dance.

[Josh Arnold]

I guess Tom was right. Okay.

[Christy Lee]

Bill Collins, the British musician has become obsessed with with Battle of the Alamo, and he did that at a very young age. So he has a huge personal Alamo collection.

[Josh Arnold]

I didn't doubt him. I just had no idea.

[Christy Lee]

His fascination started after watching peewee John Wayne Alamo movie, Davy Crockett.

[Tom Griswold]

Apparently, he had. I think he may have donated it.

[Christy Lee]

Over several decades, he amassed an extensive private collection of historical artifacts, letters, weapons, relics, documents and other items connected with the 1830s battle and the broader Texas revolution.

[Tom Griswold]

How about that?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, he donated it to the to Texas and now it's on public.

[Pat Godwin]

Every tour he would take, he would steal something put in his pocket.

[Christy Lee]

So we doubted you and I apologize.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I don't know why I know that. I remember. But Phil Collins has a really interesting life. Yeah, he was as a kid, he was in Oliver. Oliver.

[Pat Godwin]

He's in hard days now, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Great. That was the genesis of his career.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, nice.

[Josh Arnold]

Actually, I guess Genesis Was the genesis of his career.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good. No, I love Phil Kel. Another letter here.

[Josh Arnold]

Even that music he did for that Tarzan cartoon is good.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. He's one of. Apparently one of the wealthiest musicians of all time. Wow.

[Christy Lee]

I like his daughter, Lily Collins. She's a great little actress. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Huh.

[Pat Godwin]

What's she.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, she's in that French show.

[Josh Arnold]

Yep.

[Christy Lee]

Emily in Paris.

[Tom Griswold]

Emily in Paris. I was mentioning earlier that in my previous home I had one of those alarm clocks. I'd call it the bat signal that projected the time up onto the ceiling.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Which I really liked because that way you don't have to reach and grab your phone and look. And it was Dear Bob and Tom show writes John. Hey, Tom, you can get those projection alarm clocks at Menards. You can even order one online.

[Josh Arnold]

John, when. When Tom had suggested earlier that they no longer make those, that was something he was told.

[Christy Lee]

Told by his.

[Josh Arnold]

By his.

[Pat Godwin]

So he wouldn't get one.

[Josh Arnold]

It's a joke.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. That topic just came up this weekend again about the clock and the ceiling. I love that.

[Pat Godwin]

That's what I have. That's what I use.

[Tom Griswold]

You still have one. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

He lives alone.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's right.

[Pat Godwin]

I can do whatever I want.

[Tom Griswold]

And it's glorious that way. On your deathbed, at least you'll know what time it is.

[Pat Godwin]

I'll be alone and I'll know when I go.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, you won't be alone. Don't worry about.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, don't you People always say, boy, you know, I'm so afraid to die alone. Like, don't you prefer to die? Do you really want to be in a room full of people going, oh God, look horrible. I'm dying. Please do something. I know. I just pooped.

[Tom Griswold]

This is awful.

[Josh Arnold]

I want to make sure my family is surrounded.

[Pat Godwin]

I just want to be able to say more morphine by myself.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's go back over to the news and stuff.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

You're making it worse.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, now I feel bad that you're sad.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, God. Could you just maybe throw on some movies with Groucho marks?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, please.

[Tom Griswold]

Something to cheer me up.

[Pat Godwin]

You couldn't look worse than your whole life than now. That's how they remember you.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, boy. Christy, what else you got?

[Christy Lee]

A man in Florida was arrested for DUI after allegedly falling asleep in a Taco Bell drive thru. According to Florida Highway Patrol, state trooper who was in the drive thru line of a Lee County Taco Bell reported that the car in front of him failed to move forward. Do I talk about the wrong place? After activating an air horn and a siren. Without getting a response. The trooper checked on the driver and found him asleep at the wheel. Authorities proceeded to wake up 21 year old Evan Joseph Valeno. He was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence. Authorities added that his breath alcohol level measured approximately twice the legal limit. Falling asleep in a car can be a really scary thing. Oh, there's Evan. Decent looking kid.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, just a friend of mine too much who in recovery. He's been in AA for years and he's doing great. But he said his bottom because in AA meetings I guess you can talk about. This is when I knew I really needed help. He was in a drive through and he got tired of waiting for the food and so he thought it would be a good idea to just continually ram the person in front of him.

[Pat Godwin]

That's a bottle.

[Josh Arnold]

And that's when he went, okay, this is no longer something I should be

[Tom Griswold]

doing there I am now at Chick Fil A. They're so good at the drive thru they would have just had him. Hey, scoot over, I'll drive you home. Yeah, that is such a great drive through.

[Christy Lee]

But you had a story. Do you want to talk about that? Where you fell asleep recently in your car.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. But not sober though, you mean?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, you were sober. It wasn't a dui.

[Josh Arnold]

But you just, you know, you're getting

[Pat Godwin]

old when you're on the line to pick up your son and you nod off for like a minute and they're banging on your door sir. And then the guy goes, I thought you were dead.

[Josh Arnold]

That's so. Because that's.

[Pat Godwin]

No, I'm an old father.

[Josh Arnold]

That's the perf. Like what was it, 2:53pm? Something like that. Like that is perfect. Fall asleep in your car time.

[Christy Lee]

And you've been.

[Tom Griswold]

You've been awake since three in the morning. Exactly. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Like that is.

[Christy Lee]

You're absolutely right. That two to three hour is when you want to take a nap on this schedule.

[Josh Arnold]

That's so funny.

[Pat Godwin]

But the I thought you were dead part was cruel. Yeah, that's what happened to you with them waking you up in like a. Waiting for your kids.

[Christy Lee]

It happened to him at a radio show.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I was. Yeah, I was. And it was a cop banging on the window. It was a cop and I. Oh, sorry officer, I've been up for a while. Then he recognized me.

[Christy Lee]

Fortunately he thought he was dead.

[Tom Griswold]

He thought. He goes, I thought you were dead.

[Josh Arnold]

I thought you were dead. I love shirtless girl, by the way.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, comedian Matt Burke will be our guest. Mort, what did I say?

[Josh Arnold]

Matt couldn't make it, so we had to book.

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry, Mort.

[Josh Arnold]

He's a twin. He's a.

[Tom Griswold]

His brother Matt. Brother Matt.

[Josh Arnold]

We can maybe. Yeah, he's. What's the non identical called?

[Tom Griswold]

Fraternal.

[Josh Arnold]

Fraternal.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Order of the Police.

[Christy Lee]

Are you serious? He is a twin?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, is his twin a lady or a gent?

[Josh Arnold]

Gent.

[Christy Lee]

Is his name Matt? That would be funny.

[Tom Griswold]

It'd be perfect.

[Josh Arnold]

I cannot remember his name. It's not Matt, okay? He's like a buddy of mine. I can't remember his name.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll look forward to talking to him. And I'm gonna. Once again, we have a quiz for him. Him.

[Christy Lee]

Huh.

[Tom Griswold]

Involving the name Burke.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

And I predict it's not going to go well. That's. That's all I'm going to say. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Hey, thanks for listening this morning. Got something to say? Send us an email. Bob and tomobandtom.com

[Josh Arnold]

hey, it's the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee over there.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

At the news desk, there's Pat Goff.

[Pat Godwin]

Hello, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

Jeff Oskay across the way. And we have one of my favorite people and a great comedian coming up. Jeff, Tell us a little bit about it.

[Jeff Oskay]

Guest comedian appearances on the Bob and Tom show are sponsored by Lee's famous recipe chicken. Famous for a reason.

[Josh Arnold]

That's exactly right. Love me some Lee's. Ace Cosby. I'm Josh Arnold and Tom. We're joined by, like I said before, a good buddy of mine and I haven't seen him in a while and I'm thrilled to be looking at his

[Tom Griswold]

incredible head of hair. God, we hate you. Look at that. Look at that. It's unbelievable. He is comedian Mort Burke. Now, Mort, before we talk to you, we have a quiz.

[Josh Arnold]

Tom has a quiz.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, we're not a part of this. I want to see if you recognize this. Can you hear that?

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Yeah, it's.

[Tom Griswold]

It's music. Very identified as music.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You know what that is?

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

You're going to have to fill me in, man.

[Tom Griswold]

It's good, isn't it though?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, it's pretty.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Yeah, it sounds.

[Jeff Oskay]

It's beautiful.

[Josh Arnold]

If you had to guess the arrow, what would you guess, Mort? I'm going to go 60s.

[Tom Griswold]

Nice horns. Y.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Nice horns.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah. You should know this. I'm kind of embarrassed for you. More that. Of course, that of Course versus the theme to Burke's Law starring Gene Berry the Great. Yeah.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

If you, if you would have played the full 11 minutes of it.

[Josh Arnold]

Are you familiar with that show?

[Jeff Oskay]

No.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Burke's Law. No, no, that's my. That's what my. That's my ex calls the. My restraining order.

[Tom Griswold]

But I don't really. That was my brother's. My older brother's favorite show. It started Gene Berry as Amos Burke. He was a wealthy cop. He was an actual. He was an LA cop that he was chauffeured around in a Rolls Royce. I can imagine the real cops. The real cops in LA would probably be going. Yeah, yeah, right, right, right.

[Pat Godwin]

You know, your interview is unique.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Was. Does this show manage to be. Was this on the air before television.

[Josh Arnold]

Out there?

[Tom Griswold]

1963. And by the way, funny enough, I think it was after like three seasons, they changed it to Amos Burke, Secret Agent because of, because of all of this.

[Christy Lee]

Could we get.

[Pat Godwin]

He worked with a guy named Andrew, but that was problematic.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah, that was it.

[Tom Griswold]

I just thought. I just figured if my name were Burke, I would know about Burke's Law.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Good to be here. Kind of.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, sorry, we hadn't heard of it either.

[Tom Griswold]

So Mark Burke is a comedian. He's got a new comedy special called There's Beauty In It All. You can find it on YouTube, I understand. Featuring a cameo from the late Gene Berry.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Yeah, that's true.

[Tom Griswold]

He's.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Yeah, he does. He does the opener, actually.

[Tom Griswold]

He opens now. You go. You go way back. So tell me about the. What's. What is this? This is a pure standup. What's happening in this special?

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Yeah, yeah, it's. It's a stand up special for sure. You know, Josh, we've been doing comedy for a long time, Josh and I. We started back at Old Gas last square in St. Louis, Missouri in the late 50s, when Bob Newhart was the most exciting man we'd ever seen. And women all of a sudden can vote, which Josh was furious about. So, you know, with the special man, I just. I've seen so much comedy and it's so easy to be cynical, you know, and, and mean. It's so easy to say Josh has a terrible body and, you know, mor looks like the kid they trafficked to Bill Gates. For some reason, he wanted one that looked like him for some reason, you know, and so I just, I came around this idea of like, I think what's. What's actually, there's no more edgy, you know, and I wanted to see if I could make A special that was hilarious but also had. Was meaningful a little bit. It had some emotion, like was emotive in a way. So I think it's really hilarious. And it's also. I'm taking big swings. I think it's kind of.

[Josh Arnold]

That's cuz I you say that. And I have seen the special. You sent me an early. And. And I thought it failed at both those things. You tried to.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. But I think trying to be profound and failing is, is an important thing in our culture that it lacks.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

If, if it would have been the 50s and this would have been a TV show about a cop, it would have been 40 seasons.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Now again, I, I complimented you on your. A stellar head of hair. Are we dying that or is that strictly you, your, your color?

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

No, this is a wig. This is a full wig. That is not this. Yeah, it was over five grand. I was just coming to embarrass everybody on the show.

[Tom Griswold]

Now you mentioned your ex. Are you currently married?

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Yeah, yeah, I'm married right now. My. It's great. I love it. My wife got.

[Josh Arnold]

Does she like when you say right now?

[Pat Godwin]

Right now.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Yeah. We'll see how we feel by the end of the day. But so this morning. Morning. So far we're enjoying it. And she got up a day recently. So I am bi now, which is cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You didn't know, but didn't know about all those nerves back there. No.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

I sat down and I immediately was like, I'm ready to experiment. Number one. Number one weapon in the gay agenda. Good work, boys. Hats off.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, did you know you may not be aware of this, but your buddy. Buddy, Your buddy sitting right there, Josh Arnold, has an aftermarket bidet on his toilet.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I've got one too, man. I'm with you.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

You're absolutely. It was. It's a million percent the move. I'm ashamed of who I used to be. I was off filthy.

[Josh Arnold]

Which one do you have? I have Poseidon's finger.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Yeah. Yeah, I have. The Ocean's Regret is what

[Tom Griswold]

I, I, I'm looking at one called the Fireman's Friend. It's the only one that requires a seat belt. We're speaking with comedian Mort Burke and I have not met Mort prior to this. You have a great cartoon voice.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Oh, thanks.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, you got a really enthusiastic, happy. You could portray like a flea or something.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

All right, hurtful.

[Pat Godwin]

You could portray a flea.

[Tom Griswold]

No, you know what I mean?

[Christy Lee]

You really.

[Tom Griswold]

No, he sounds like he's got this happy Cartoony.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. You could see him being like a. A cricket or something, popping around going, come on, fellas, we can make.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Seems like you guys were trying to invent a new way to emasculate people.

[Tom Griswold]

We've been perfecting this for years.

[Josh Arnold]

Mort, your wife is a voice actress or actor, right?

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Yeah, yeah, she is. She's way more successful than I am. What are we doing, you guys?

[Tom Griswold]

So she doesn't make a cameo in your new special called There's Beauty?

[Josh Arnold]

I think you can hear her laugh. I believe I've heard her. Her laugh in the. At the special.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

She does have an incredible laugh.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

I married her because she's got a really beautiful laugh.

[Tom Griswold]

So it's. So it's going well, though.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Yeah, it's amazing.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you have any kids?

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

No kids. I did go back to visit my family, though, recently in St. Louis, where I'm from, and I was doing, you know, I love them. Of course, we got a little dysfunction. So I was. I was doing. I was figuring out ways to, like, going on the Internet, trying to find out how you set boundaries and stuff. And they were like, the Internet was like, be careful because you have a dysfunctional family. They might try to do gift giving to get you back into the fold. So I show up. My dad gave me an ounce of gold, like. Like a formally abusive pirate. I was like, did you murder Strange McDuck? What is. Who's dealing in the bloom right now?

[Jeff Oskay]

You know?

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Yeah. So then I had. I had an ounce of gold, and I didn't know what to do with it because I'm not a coal miner. So I was like, okay. I. So I called a cash for gold place. Have you guys ever encountered. Oh, yeah, it was unbelievable. He sounded like he was doing a racist impression of a gypsy.

[Tom Griswold]

I know.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

He goes, hello.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

I have some gold to sell it.

[Bob Kevoian]

He goes, you have.

[Christy Lee]

Have gold?

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

I was like, yeah, I have gold. He goes, m gold. That's three M's.

[Tom Griswold]

Gold.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

I was like, I'm not going to give you this gold because it's very clear you're going to have to, like, give it back to a warlock for your freedom or something. I don't know what is happening. Cash or gold plates? So what? I don't know. It's.

[Tom Griswold]

It's good.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

I. I love those guys, but they're. It's also the funniest text I've ever received. Was sent to me by my mom and she said, texted me, sorry for your whole childhood.

[Josh Arnold]

She had just been thinking, yeah, yeah,

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

I was like that's a phone call actually. I really appreciate. You gotta dial. You can't send me that and follow it with like a thumbs up emoji, you know.

[Tom Griswold]

Our guest is comedian Mort Burke and it's all about positivity and his. His new special is called There's Beauty in It. All available now, I should say on YouTube. I have not seen it yet, Joshua. And you said you already gave it a look. See?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Loved it. Yes. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And you guys go way back, doing a lot of improv.

[Josh Arnold]

20 plus years. We go back. Yeah. We did a bunch of improv, a bunch of sketch together and. Yeah. Great times.

[Tom Griswold]

So. Well, yeah. Now, have you seen Mort, have you seen Josh's stand up lately?

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Yeah, I mean, he sent me his last special. I really thought it was mediocre.

[Tom Griswold]

Now did he, did he send you the vinyl or. Because I, I had, when Josh made his, his record, I, I had it put on, on vinyl.

[Pat Godwin]

It's a lot warmer sounding.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It brings out the laughter. Yeah, but you got to really turn her up. Yeah, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I did not send Mort of vinyl. I, I will, I will.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you have any left?

[Josh Arnold]

I've got like four left and one of them has your name on it, man.

[Christy Lee]

Mine is framed. Framed and hanging in our family room.

[Tom Griswold]

Very nice. I didn't even get one and I paid for it.

[Jeff Oskay]

What the hell's going on?

[Josh Arnold]

For you too.

[Tom Griswold]

Now you're down to two.

[Josh Arnold]

That's all right. I don't even have a record player, so I can get rid of them.

[Tom Griswold]

So Mark Burke is our guest. How long you been living in the greater Los Angeles Ellis area?

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

I've been here 15 years.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. No, are there any, do you have any LA like habits?

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Yeah, I sage my cats.

[Josh Arnold]

That's important. Hell yeah.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Yeah, you gotta do it. You gotta do it. You gotta swallow crystals every day. It's all, it's a whole thing. Hemp dream catchers, that's. You get those at the DMV out here now.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you a, are you an avid cannabis user?

[Josh Arnold]

Loser.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

No, no. You know what? I'm 17 years sober, Bob. And if you.

[Josh Arnold]

That's Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Drunks always get me mixed up with Bob.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

All right, sorry, Sorry, Jess. So sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

So I, I, I heard this term recently, the so called California sober, which I guess is. It kind of is a moving target. It can be they only smoke pot or. But you're sober sober.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Yeah, I'm sober sober. California is sober. Now is when you just do ketamine at the office.

[Tom Griswold]

Let me Ask you this just to get a little nostalgic. What was your drink of choice?

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Oh, I loved. I loved a whiskey I liked. I went through a heavy one of those. Man, it's been so long. What's the breakfast drink?

[Christy Lee]

That Mimosa screwdriver. Oh, Bloody Mary.

[Mort Burke]

Mary.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Bloody Marys.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

I went through a heavy Bloody Mary face.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Really?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a shame because if you've seen today's Bloody Marys, they have like a Thanksgiving table stuck to a thing of celery in them. If you've seen.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah, that's crazy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, some of these places go nuts.

[Josh Arnold]

Like a skewer of shrimp and buffalo wings and.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's so joke.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I know. And a John Candy bobblehead.

[Pat Godwin]

I used to get a special.

[Tom Griswold]

And you can get a. Can't you get a so called virgin Bloody Mary?

[Christy Lee]

Yes, you can.

[Tom Griswold]

Which somehow seems sacrilegious, implying that she wasn't a virgin. Oh, sorry. It's not my fault. I didn't invent the thing. Mark Burke's new special is called There's Beauty In It All. And what a great pleasure talking to you. I can tell you're a really cool guy. Want it? Can't wait to see the special.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Thanks so much for having me, you guys.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, you're funny.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

I love the show. I love being here.

[Tom Griswold]

Can I say I can't see the T shirt? Exactly. What is that? Is that.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

It's a bunch of hippie trash.

[Josh Arnold]

Is it De La Soul?

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

All their.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Their. Their music's back on. It was offline forever because of all the sampling issues, but all their stuff is. So go listen to De La Soul.

[J]

I recommend it.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, Very good, Very good. Thanks, Mort. Hope to see us in the studio sometime soon.

[Josh Arnold]

Soon.

[Christy Lee]

What a pleasure.

[Mort Burke (guest voice)]

Thanks, guys.

[Josh Arnold]

See you more. Love you, buddy.

[Tom Griswold]

Nice guy. God, that guy's voice is so funny. Just made me laugh.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah, He's. He's a character.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Let's see now. Coming up. Christy, what have you got over there?

[Christy Lee]

Coming up, we're going to talk about armpit hair in a restaurant. One of the mistakes you might be making in modern dating and how long Americans think couples should be together before having sex, getting married and buying a home to together. Okay, now, not relationship issues.

[Tom Griswold]

Not necessarily all three of them.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

So you can buy a home with her while still not having sex. Not having sex with her.

[Christy Lee]

Yes. You want to talk about that?

[Tom Griswold]

You'd like to explore that? Pat, you want to take this one right now? I want to Once again cite the following Hyundai, our car girl right there, Christy Lee. We determined that she has owned significantly more cars than the rest of us have. Yeah. Over the course of time. And you're currently a big fan of the Hyundai. I am a big fan of the Hyundai Palisade Hybrid. One of the interesting things about it, an EPA estimated 619 miles of range. Also the famous motto, no cleats on the seats because you can seat seven. But that way, back seat, you can access it without climbing over the back seat because it's got those two captain's chairs. And that way your kids can sit in the back and point at their eyes and go, daddy, I am the captain. If they've seen that movie about nevermind the Hyundai, the Palisade Hybrid. Also, they've got some other stuff going on at Hyundai. Like what?

[Christy Lee]

CHRISTY Lee, the other great things at Hyundai usa. And I'll tell you what, if you've never checked out their products, you need to do it right now. They're having that great sales event and there are a lot of other wonderful models. I happen to drive the Tucson Hybrid and I cannot recommend the Hyundai products. They are enough because they are so great. The interiors, the comfort for the driver, for the passengers, it, it'll just make you want to never get out of your car.

[Tom Griswold]

They've also got the electric Ionic 5 and the Ioniq 9.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, those are fun.

[Tom Griswold]

They sound like cool bands.

[Christy Lee]

And if you've seen them, they look like space cars. They're kind of like a space age look. They're really cool. Visit HyundaiUSA.com for all the details or call 562-314-4603. They'll talk to you, I promise. And that's Hyundai USA.com. all the details are right there. Hyundai USA.com great car, great people. You'll love it.

[Tom Griswold]

And if you're poetry minded, they have the Ionic pentameter. You have to buy five of them at a time.

[Jeff Oskay]

But

[Tom Griswold]

we're gonna come right back and try to rescue the show. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom Show. Thank you for joining us. We're live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee's at the news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Ah, you got me.

[Josh Arnold]

Pat Godwin's with his guitar and organ.

[Pat Godwin]

Hello.

[Josh Arnold]

There's Jeff Oskay with his Oregon.

[Christy Lee]

That's right.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm Josh Arnold. There's Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Thanks very much. We just had a nice conversation with comedian Mort Burke. Looking forward to checking out his Comedy Special on YouTube. It's called There's Beauty In It All. He's got two specials. Is the other one still floating around?

[Josh Arnold]

It is, yeah. Yep. I forget the name of it, but it's out there.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, good.

[Josh Arnold]

Also on YouTube.

[Tom Griswold]

He was fun talking to him. I really enjoyed that.

[Josh Arnold]

Very funny.

[Tom Griswold]

Speaking of concerts, Pat Godwin's finally they've released your Dry bar comedy special.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, there was a live stream on Saturday night, so when the. There's maybe some kind of official release, so it just gets a little murky there.

[Tom Griswold]

So is it out there right now?

[Christy Lee]

Out there now?

[Pat Godwin]

I don't think it's out there right now. I just found out.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

I don't know what to tell you. Don't look at me.

[Josh Arnold]

Tom's face. I mean, if looks could kill.

[Tom Griswold]

So I've been plugging this.

[Pat Godwin]

You're not the only one.

[Tom Griswold]

One. Okay, well, if you want to see Pad guy, you have to wait for him to schedule his next show.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what?

[Pat Godwin]

Shows are all scheduled. It's just not the drive.

[Josh Arnold]

I almost lied to him earlier, but, man, I watched it. It was so good. Can you imagine if I asked?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, we'll. We'll figure out what's going on, and then we'll get back to you. In the meantime, Christy said something about armpit hair. You've never been that girl, have you?

[Christy Lee]

No, never. God, no.

[Tom Griswold]

You'd never been.

[Christy Lee]

Plus, I'm. I have blonde hair anyway, so I don't even know if I'd let it go, how long it would get, or. I never was a hairy person. Does that make sense? I've just never had a lot of hair.

[Tom Griswold]

Does anyone, like, braid it, like Grateful Dead fans?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Old hippie chicks? You like old hippie chicks, right, Josh?

[Josh Arnold]

Who doesn't?

[Christy Lee]

What's wrong with an old hippie chick?

[Tom Griswold]

Let's see. Aroma.

[Pat Godwin]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

Stevie Nick's count.

[Pat Godwin]

There's Rivers.

[Christy Lee]

Stevie Nicks is an old hippie chick.

[Josh Arnold]

I'd make out with her witchy ass. Oh, yeah, and.

[Christy Lee]

And the rest of her, too.

[Josh Arnold]

If that goes well, then, yeah, maybe I'll move up to the mouse.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah. Two minutes of her. Two minutes of her talking about her crystals and her aura and be out the door.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Okay. An Australian chef is warning fellow restaurant owners after a family allegedly planted armpit hair in their food to avoid paying a $600 bill.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, man.

[Christy Lee]

Neil Nolan, head chef at Pony in the rocks, told 7News the group ordered some of the restaurant's most expensive items, including a four pound tomahawk steak.

[Tom Griswold]

Tomahawk steak. Those are great.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they are.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a four pounder.

[Christy Lee]

That's a big steak.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. You're gonna have to split that, I hope.

[Christy Lee]

After finishing the meal, they complained about hair in the food and caused a scene. Management waived the bill to prevent further confrontation. But security footage later appeared to show a man pulling a hair from under his arm and placing it on his plate. Nolan says another nearby restaurant was targeted the same way, prompting him to share the video and to warn others.

[Josh Arnold]

A scum. Scumbag.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they're making a TV show out of it. Oh. Call it the Pit. Oh, wait a minute. That's already taken. Sorry. That's so gross. Wouldn't you go for pubes anyway? Way.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, armpit hair look enough like pubes.

[Christy Lee]

How would you pull a pube out sitting at the table?

[Tom Griswold]

What's. That's the thing. You put your napkin down and

[Christy Lee]

that's a little more difficult.

[Tom Griswold]

Josh's case. Just picking his teeth.

[Jeff Oskay]

I was a server at a, like,

[Josh Arnold]

the Hirsute Ladies

[Jeff Oskay]

at a. Like a national steakhouse chain, right? And we had a guy who, uh, came in about every two weeks. He would order a porterhouse, he would eat the entire porterhouse, and he would complain and get a porterhouse to go and have his meal comped every two weeks.

[Josh Arnold]

So.

[Jeff Oskay]

And they just did it because they

[Christy Lee]

didn't want to deal with it.

[Jeff Oskay]

To deal with it.

[Josh Arnold]

Gosh, man.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I. When I was working at the restaurant, we had a legitimate complaint. We had a table we called the Monster, Okay. Because it was a 12 seater.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And it was always, you know, huge pain and blah, blah, blah, blah. So. And the monster was right in the middle of the restaurant. And one day this lady started screaming. She pulled a half bloody band aid out of her mouth. I still remember the name of the idiot from the kitchen. Oh, that was stupid because you're supposed to put those little. Little, like, rubbers.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Finger. Yeah. Finger Con Condoms, man. You're familiar with those?

[Pat Godwin]

Of course. That's all it fits. They're called Pinky.

[Josh Arnold]

I got a pack of Pinkies.

[Tom Griswold]

But, I mean, that was the worst.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'm assuming they ate for free, though.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, God, yeah, it was for the next year.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Just awful, man.

[Christy Lee]

A Budapest pizzeria is serving a limited pizza that uses only ingredients ancient Romans could have eaten.

[Josh Arnold]

All right, all right.

[Christy Lee]

Okay. In 2023, archaeologists uncover the Pompeii fresco of a topped flatbread, and that inspired founder Joseph Zara to research Roman cooking. He and his team used an ancient cookbook to list period ingredients. And they came up with this pizza. Now it doesn't have tomatoes or mozzarella. The team actually even had to change the dough since Romans lacked modern water systems. Jess, listen up. They used fermented spinach juice to help the dough rise, topped it with olives, olive paste, fish sauce, duck nuts, ricotta and grape reduction.

[Josh Arnold]

Duck nuts. Those can't be easy to get out.

[Pat Godwin]

Can't fill up on those tiny little things.

[Christy Lee]

I paused on purpose. There was a comma. Yeah, that does not sound like a flatbread pizza. I would like to try.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'd try it. That sounds good. Minus the duck nuts. I would like everything.

[Josh Arnold]

It is Roman. So it did come with a Caesar salad. Oh, that's nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much. By the way, that reminds me of this story we had, the thing about the iguana pizza.

[Christy Lee]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

A couple weeks ago, because of all the weird temperatures, the iguanas are falling from the.

[Christy Lee]

That's going to happen again. When I was down in Florida, supposed to get to 39 in the morning

[Tom Griswold]

and that was some guy. Oh, here it is. At Buck's Coal Fired Pizza, which, by the way, sounds great. This guy created the so called everglade pizza using the cold stunned iguanas. And again, they're not supposed to be in Florida. They're. What do they call? Invasive.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

But I guess when it gets cold, they drop from the trees. They're not dead. But in any event, this guy was cutting them up and nobody killed him first. Good point. 1500 calls for iguana pizza, man. However, he also got some complaints. People were complaining to the health department apartment.

[Josh Arnold]

I would imagine so.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know why. Why?

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, if they. If they. It depends.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they're free range.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know.

[Jeff Oskay]

Right. But out of a dumpster at Arby's, like, who knows what they've been doing.

[Josh Arnold]

Let's say they use the tail meat. Don't you just need the one lizard? Because it can keep growing it back much cheaper.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. You can only serve it every six months.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Would you rather have iguana pizza or pizza with pineapple? Pineapple on it.

[Josh Arnold]

Z, you're talking to the wrong guy. I don't mind the pineapple.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hawaiian pizza.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't get it often, but I don't mind it.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. I'm not a fan.

[Christy Lee]

You're not a fan?

[Jeff Oskay]

But have you tried it with a barbecue base instead of a pizza sauce base?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, that's good.

[Tom Griswold]

I have had a barbecue pizza. That is very good.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm out.

[Christy Lee]

Barbecue sauce pizza you don't like.

[Josh Arnold]

I've never had a good. In my opinion, a good barbecue sauce pizza. So, though, maybe one of you could point me in the right direction.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'm gonna make.

[Christy Lee]

What about a red pepper sauce? That's my new favorite.

[Josh Arnold]

Just a marinara guy. Just give me that tomato. I don't want your. I certainly don't want pesto.

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, gosh darn it. Get that out of here.

[Pat Godwin]

That's terrible. And, Christy, when you go to Italy, just order the margarita pizza, and they're gonna get angry.

[Christy Lee]

I love it.

[Jeff Oskay]

It's the best.

[Josh Arnold]

No, I do love that margarita pizza is. It has the salt on the crust. Oh, my gosh.

[Pat Godwin]

They sing to you.

[Christy Lee]

And the whole big basil leaves.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you get. I know that you're going to Italy. In fact, your trip is sold out.

[Christy Lee]

We have a wait list.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Watching the Olympics, didn't you just want to go get in a plane and fly to Cortina, do some skiing? Yeah, I just. It made me really want to go back to Italy.

[Christy Lee]

Of all.

[Tom Griswold]

I wonder. I wonder if there'll be a bump in tourism this summer from all the people that saw how beautiful Italy was.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know how many more people could be there after I was there last summer.

[Tom Griswold]

A lot.

[Christy Lee]

A lot of people.

[Pat Godwin]

A lot of people.

[Christy Lee]

A lot of people.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Well, it looked great. And again, Bravo, NBC. Great coverage. They did such a good job. And I. I get. The technology is getting even better. Pretty soon, I don't know, they're going to somehow have a camera in the puck.

[Josh Arnold]

That would be cool.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, how soon will there be a camera in the football?

[Christy Lee]

You keep saying that.

[Tom Griswold]

What would you have thought, that that's

[Christy Lee]

going to alter the way the football flies? I would.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, maybe not even for just demonstration purposes.

[Christy Lee]

Well, that maybe, but sure.

[Tom Griswold]

It's going to be confusing when the picture keeps spinning around.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But they'll probably have seizures. Some software that. Some software that takes the spinning picture and somehow.

[Christy Lee]

It would be kind of cool, though, to see the trajectory of a ball from the ball's perspective, wouldn't it?

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, as it was seeing the. Okay, there's Pat Godlin with the piece.

[Christy Lee]

It a little bit.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, Christy, what's coming up?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know what's coming up. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't give up.

[Christy Lee]

I'm not giving up. I haven't given up. We have an interesting assault with a woman. Got Angry at her, her boyfriend and threw something at him. We'll talk about that. Oh, hey, it looks like we're closer to getting some more astronauts on the moon. Did you see that? They aced the launch test the other day, so they're looking at mid March.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, they're going, they're not going to land. They're going to destroy.

[Christy Lee]

Well, we're just going to go.

[Tom Griswold]

They're going to go around it, right?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, we've already done that.

[Pat Godwin]

We were on the moon in 69, weren't we?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, we did it last I checked.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean if you're gonna go land

[Tom Griswold]

and walk around a little bit, they're gonna eventually go. They gotta clean up. Can you imagine how dirty it is?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, it's gotta be filthy. Dusty. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

There. Yeah. Right now I want to remind you that you gotta protect your house, right? You want it to be safe. That's where Chick McGee comes in. Chick walked in here many years ago on a Monday morning and said, hey. Over the weekend I installed a security system myself. Took me less than an hour. Simply saying that was the early days of Simplisafe. Simplisafe has gotten better and better. Traditional security systems take action after the horses left the barn, if you will. That can be too late. Simplisafe, among other many options, they have active guard outdoor protection to prevent break ins before they happen. If there's somebody lurking outside your house, AI cameras will spot them and they can actually go on and say, hey, get out of here. We got, got the cops on the way. So they've got spotlights, cameras, et cetera, et cetera. Simplisafe. You can even install it yourself, by the way. Simplisafe, no long term contracts, no cancellation fees. Monitoring plans start affordably at about a buck a day. There of course, is a 60 day satisfaction guarantee from Simplisafe. If you don't like it, send it back. Simplisafe has been named the best home security system by U.S. news and World Report. Five year old in a row. Also ranked number one in customer service among home security providers by both Newsweek and USA Today. See what I'm talking about? Visit the website, look around, see what they can do for you. Simplisafetom.com I suggest you do it that way because you'll save a staggering 50% on a new SimpliSafe system with professional monitoring. That's simplisafetom.com. there's no safe safe like simply safe. In the words of Teddy Roosevelt. Oh, wait a minute, no, General MacArthur these are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. That's how I keep the tanks running. And this is We Shall Return. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Get a look at today's show on our YouTube channel.

[Jeff Oskay]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Coming to you live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. Those sitting across from me, the lovely Josh Arnold.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Jeff Oskay]

There's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Jeff Oskay]

Pat Godwin.

[Josh Arnold]

Hello.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'm Jeff.

[Josh Arnold]

Oscar.

[Jeff Oskay]

There's Ace Cosby.

[Josh Arnold]

Hello.

[Jeff Oskay]

And there he is, the man among men, Mr. Tom Gr.

[Tom Griswold]

The man among ladies. You've been to my house.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

Where you look. Chicks.

[Christy Lee]

Hat.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you have your guitar? No. I can see it.

[Pat Godwin]

I lost it.

[Tom Griswold]

We had a news story that I of some interest. I think we were talking about this earlier today. We had the one about the boneless wings. You had a very nice song about that.

[Christy Lee]

Do you want to go with the stuck in the van guy?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

A man in Hialeah, Florida was arrested after he got stuck in the van he was allegedly trying to steal. Home security footage captured the 26 year old pulling up in a car. Car getting out, climbing into the back of a landscaping truck. WTVJ reports that when the owner of the van locked it to begin landscaping, I'm going to say looked into it before to begin landscaping, he saw the guy and started screaming for help. Responding officers freed the 26 year old and took him into custody. I don't know how he got locked in, but he was charged with burglary and criminal mischief.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, the best part of the story

[Christy Lee]

is, is this part. The suspect told police that he was handing out business cards when a dog chased him. He got scared and ran into the truck for safety. However, there are doorbell cams everywhere. And of course, that footage refuted his story.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but then there's more.

[Christy Lee]

Yes. And then the homeowner, Nursey Toledo, explained that the landscaper refused to open the door until police arrived due to the fact that there were machetes inside the truck and he could have just come out and hurt anybody. So he left them in.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that makes sense.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

He could have come out swinging, hanging.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. This guy's a landscaper. They got some stuff they got to

[Josh Arnold]

cut back, especially in Florida.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, Machetes in there and sorry.

[Jeff Oskay]

Close.

[Tom Griswold]

Lucky they got him out because he couldn't have done that.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

In the van. Yeah. I, a friend of mine is, is a landscaper and this is. He had a thing where they caught a guy was Trying to drive off with their truck with one of the. One of them was out in the lawn. They were going to drive off with this very expensive, exotic lawnmower man.

[Jeff Oskay]

But there's a really funny video online. Like two weeks ago, a bunch of roofers were up on a roof and a car backed in and they're all up on the roof and they pop the trunk and they're loading tools off the ground into their trunk. And everyone up on the roof starts throwing hammers, no kidding, nail guns at these people. They're shooting, shooting nail guns at him. And they finally had to jump back in the car and speed off. It was amazing people.

[Tom Griswold]

Now they were stuck in a van. The purpose?

[Pat Godwin]

Stuck in a van. You ever been stuck in a van?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh.

[Pat Godwin]

You ever been stuck in a car?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

I have.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Pat Godwin]

Tried to make her laugh tried to make her smile I only have another 500 miles. We're driving to her parents she knows I hate to go she's all ticked off and the traffic is slow we had a little spat had another fight she's still furious Only last night she's mad as hell Here come the tears when we finally get there should be counting my beers I'm stuck, stuck in a car with an angry woman on an eight hour drive like being trapped with bees in a bottle and it's an angry hive I'm driving a new ev but it's not a quiet ride no I'm stuck in a car with an angry woman on an eight hour drive Tried to make her laugh, tried to make her smile I only have another 400. She's annoyed about something stupid I said she's getting real loud and her face is all red she's got a pissed off list her own top 10 never forget she's mad all over again She's a ripping me a new one Talking something trash to spit on the windshield she's pounding the dash I'm stuck, stuck in a car with an angry woman on an eight hour drive like being pinned by a grizzly bear there's no chance that you survive I wish a tractor trailer hit me and I'd crawl out the other side no I'm stuck in a car with an angry woman on an eight hour drive I tried to make her laugh Tried to make her smile I only have another 300100 miles 200 miles 100 miles I'm stuck in a car with an angry woman on an eight hour drive

[Christy Lee]

yeah, that

[Tom Griswold]

is kind of a. Kind of a hairy Chapin feel.

[Jeff Oskay]

Sure it is that is my favorite song of yours. Maybe it relates to my life at times, but I don't know if I ever told you I had a car that. What? I was doing a New Year's Eve gig and I had written with my girlfriend. I get a call the next morning from my. My best friend. We shared a double. He lived on one half, I lived on the other. We both had maroon piece of crap cars. And he calls up, he goes, hey, man, I got locked in your car last night. And trying to get. He thought it was his car and he got locked in it. And so he's like, I kind of had to kick out a window to get out. I've done some damage to your car. And I'm driving up to my house and I see the top of the car door bent out on the driver's side, my. In the inside of the doors, laying in the street with a bunch of cables. Apparently he had gone to a bar and walked home drunk. And they called him up and they go, hey, you didn't pay your tab. You need to come back and pay your tab. He got in the wrong car, drunk off of spot, put the key in, broke the key in the ignition, and then kicked out all of. He did $4,700 worth of damage to

[Christy Lee]

a car worth a thousand.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah. And. And so I just had to drive it like that for the next. And when it would rain, it would puddle through my window. And the.

[Tom Griswold]

Did he ever pay you?

[Jeff Oskay]

No, we didn't have money back then,

[Tom Griswold]

but does he have money now?

[Jeff Oskay]

I would think actually he does with interest.

[Tom Griswold]

It's my time before.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

But he kicked vent. My steering wheel was bent, and I go, what happened? He goes, I was trapped. And he's like 6, 8. So he just started kicking

[Christy Lee]

the door.

[Jeff Oskay]

He somehow had locked himself in it.

[Tom Griswold]

And.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's. That's drunk. When you lock yourself in a car,

[Jeff Oskay]

the drunk part was it wasn't till the next morning he realized it was my car and not his. Yeah, he thought he had done that to his own car.

[Christy Lee]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

So he lucked out. I think the moral of the story is. And also, it's better for soc that he wasn't driving.

[Jeff Oskay]

Exactly. That was the best thing that happened, was he couldn't drive.

[Tom Griswold]

Did he? I know he didn't pay you. Did he pay his tab?

[Jeff Oskay]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, let me get some interest going.

[Christy Lee]

Speaking of angry, a woman from Florida facing felony charges over an alleged assault with a pickle jar. 32 year old Kaylin Blaine began arguing with her 34 year old boyfriend when he accused her of making a mess in their apartment. She allegedly grabbed a glass pickle jar she had been snacking from and hit him on the top of the head. Responding officers noted that the victim had a knot on the top.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a minute. We have a picture of her. She's on.

[Christy Lee]

Consistent with this statement.

[Tom Griswold]

Pretty.

[Christy Lee]

While pickles and pickle juice were scattered across the apartment, she was arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Hitting someone with pickles isn't code.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no.

[Tom Griswold]

This is like the opposite of that thing in the Titanic because. Yeah, because in this case the iceberg hit him.

[Jeff Oskay]

You see the iceberg lettuce.

[Christy Lee]

We cannot leave on that iceberg is a lettuce.

[Tom Griswold]

It's not a pickle? No.

[Jeff Oskay]

How about.

[Josh Arnold]

Is it?

[Pat Godwin]

No.

[Jeff Oskay]

You've picked a brine. Time to hit me, Lucille. Is that worse?

[Josh Arnold]

None of this is acceptable.

[Tom Griswold]

How many of you see in her picture she doesn't look like a sour puss? All right.

[Pat Godwin]

She's a big deal though.

[Josh Arnold]

I get mad, but these sort of jokes are our bread and butter. That's funny. That's a type of pickle. Thank you, Ace. I think we gotta end on that.

[Tom Griswold]

So icebergs aren't pickles?

[Josh Arnold]

Not at all. If they are, we had never.

[Pat Godwin]

There's no such thing as a nice iceberg pickle.

[Christy Lee]

Have you heard of an iceberg pickle?

[Tom Griswold]

That's why I said it.

[Pat Godwin]

We all make mistakes.

[Tom Griswold]

How do you cut it?

[Josh Arnold]

Thank you for joining us.

[Tom Griswold]

These are the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. I'm at a pickle. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Announcer]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show, sponsored in part by Java House, the official coffee and refreshments of the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a world where legends race across city skylines. Romance blossoms in glittering ballrooms. And there's magic around every corner. It's a world known to many as Great Britain. You've seen the action on screen. Now visit the real star of the show. Visit Great Britain. To discover more, go to tripadvisor.com Great Britain.