The bOB & TOM Show - February 24, 2026

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast

Episode: The BOB & TOM Show – February 24, 2026
Host: The BOB & TOM Show (Cumulus Podcast Network)
Date: February 24, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of The BOB & TOM Show offers the full morning’s blend of comedy, pop culture banter, riffing on news headlines, and listener letters, all mixed with classic recurring bits and musical interludes. The cast covers everything from generational nostalgia to the nuances of modern relationships, with their signature irreverence, plenty of personal asides, and crowd-pleasing goofiness. Notable topics this round include wild chickens in Hawaii, new words in the Cambridge Dictionary, Gen Z's approach to romance, and the most disgusting news story in the show's history. Expect running gags about birthdays, parenthood, and “code words” for sex—plus advice on Hyundai cars from Christy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Classic Parody & Musical Comedy Kickoff

• (00:15–03:07) The show opens with one of their signature album parodies: “Kick Ass Cowbell.” The team riffs through a faux greatest hits collection, namechecking cowbell-laden classic rock tracks (“Mississippi Queen,” “Honky Tonk Women,” etc.), strewn with inside-joke banter and over-the-top fake commercials.
  • Notable moment: Smarmy ad-style voiceovers and the running “Clarence Cowbell” clown schtick.

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2. Morning Mayhem: Tom’s Rough Start

• (03:30–06:33) Tom details his comically hapless morning—struggling with a loaner car, a faulty garage door, a malfunctioning computer, and a dog with digestive issues. The group offers mock sympathy, turning his gripes into a running gag.
  • Quote: “Everything today, it’s been one of those days.” (Tom, 04:35)

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3. Cassette Nostalgia & Tech Throwbacks

• (03:07–12:11) The gang tumbles into a multi-generational nostalgia fest about cassettes, “cassingles,” rewinding tapes with pencils, and fixing broken tapes with scotch tape.
  • Quote: "Cassingles were what poor people bought when you couldn’t afford the whole tape." (Jeff, 07:38)
  • They muse on tech transitions: cassettes to CDs to digital, and the recent rebirth of film and cassettes (“Guardians of the Galaxy” shoutout).

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4. News Teasers & Offbeat Headlines

• (13:19–14:30, 17:01–17:50) Teased stories include:
  • Floating sauna gone adrift
  • Olympics viewership surge
  • Elephant birth control
  • Complicated/disgusting Kentucky news item (a running reference throughout that builds suspense)
  • Gen Z romance update
  • Cambridge Dictionary’s latest odd word additions

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5. Birthday Balloons & Parenting Asides

• (15:01–16:30) Tom preps for his daughter’s 10th birthday, describing the chaos of stuffing helium balloons into a car during windstorms and lamenting aging out of having a “kid under 10.”
  • Quote: "It's kind of sad. I don't think I have not had a child under 10 in 35 years." (Tom, 16:30)

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6. Parenting, Neighbors, & Home Birth Humor

• (17:01–18:22) The hosts riff on home births, animal births, and personal parenting quirks.
  • Home birthing a gorilla in a pool and a friend giving birth in a hot tub spiral into punchlines about midwifery and “sniffing baby heads.”

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7. Listener Letters: Food, Wildlife, & Products

• (19:06–23:54)
  • Fish sandwich debate (Filet-o-Fish vs. new entrants)
  • Listener from Cape Coral, FL describes the region’s cold-stunned iguana problem
  • Several write in about “Bloody Knuckles Hand Balm”
  • Snowstorm trucking tales and the rise of robotic snowplows
  • Roadkill themes emerge ("Can you eat it?")—a thread that will return!

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8. Animal Law, Chicken Stories, & Taste Tests

• (26:39–32:30) Legalization of chicken culling in Hawaii, listener stories about feral chickens, and discussions of the ethics and practicality of eating wild or “roadkill” animals.
  • Quote: "Can you eat a feral chicken? Are they…?" (Tom, 28:07)
  • Personal anecdotes about backyard chickens eating mice and the failures of "protector" roosters.

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9. Lawnmower & Robot Mower Chat

• (34:09–37:41) Reflections on mowing lawns, both therapeutic and as a means of spouse avoidance, plus fears about wild robotic mowers going rogue.
  • Quote: "He likes to put his headphones on and he can't hear the missus. Just a theory." (Tom, 36:50)

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10. Chicken in Culture: Stand-up & Parody Songs

• (39:46–42:16)
  • Stand-up bit from Jimmy Shubert on the existential wrongness of “egg and chicken” omelets
  • Parody: “Ghost Chickens in the Sky” (Sean Morey)

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11. Cambridge Dictionary: New Words Quiz

• (73:04–81:01)
  • The team reads out the newest dictionary entries, turns them into trivia, and riffs:
    • Musillette: The wire cage over a champagne cork
    • Aglet: Plastic tips of shoelaces
    • Tine: The prong of a fork
    • Ulage: The empty space in a container
    • Dongle: A computer attachment
  • Quote: “Doesn't that sound like—your uncle’s penis?” (Tom, 77:04)

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12. Gen Z, Sleep and Love Trends

• (94:35–97:54, 143:24–145:25)
  • A new survey shows Gen Z prioritizes sleep over sex; others over friends and hobbies, too. Discussed with a mix of fascination and mockery.
  • Sex, kissing, and “I love you” milestones: the “3-date rule,” timeline to engagement, and moving in.
  • Quote: “That’s Gen Lazy!” (Josh, 95:47)

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13. News Story: The Most Disgusting Ever

• (59:39–63:08)
  • After much buildup, the team finally reads the purportedly “worst story in show history,” about a man in Kentucky caught having sexual relations with a dead deer.
  • The story is handled with a mix of horror, gallows humor, and caution—worded delicately due to FCC concerns.
  • Quote: "I'm not going to read this guy's name because... this is just awful..." (Tom, 59:39)
  • Rapid-fire one-liners follow: “You’re supposed to mount them on the wall, not on the side of the road!” (Pat, 61:36)

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14. Code Words for Sex, Relationship Milestones

• (84:09–88:22, 142:21–143:16)
  • Listeners and hosts share their euphemisms and “code words” for sex—including GIF-swapping and phrases like “paint the barn.”
  • Quote: “Hey, do you want to paint the barn later?” (Jess Hooker, 88:33)

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15. Relationship Surveys & Advice

• (94:49–104:43, 106:25–107:56)
  • The group discusses survey results about timelines for romance: kissing, first sex, engagement, moving in, and buying a house.
  • Lively debate about blending families, meeting stepkids, and how/when to introduce pets.
  • Notable moment: Pat admits bringing his son on first dates for a free meal.

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16. Odd News: Floating Saunas, Naked Ambulance Chase

• (127:51–129:40, 132:16–134:56)
  • German tourists attempt to motorize a sauna on an ice floe—rescue ensues.
  • In Wisconsin, a naked man steals an ambulance with a patient inside, resulting in a police chase.

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17. Mentions: Hyundai Endorsements & Product Plugs

• (32:06–32:44, 150:37–151:39)
  • Christy espouses her love for Hyundai, and there are periodic ad-libs for the podcast’s sponsors (HelloFresh, SimpliSafe, O’Reilly Auto Parts).

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18. Pop Culture: Movie & Documentary Chatter

• (56:48–58:51, 120:00–121:13)
  • Brief discussion of anticipated Billy Preston and Elvis Presley documentaries, classic cameos, and Beatles trivia.

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19. Waffle Fries & Snack Preferences

• (153:11–158:03)
  • The group debates chip and fry styles (Doritos, pretzels, waffle fries), the science of the “radiator principle” (why waffle fries get cold fast), and the myth that all pasta shapes taste the same.
  • Quote: “I would always make the argument… different pasta tastes different.” (Tom, 157:31)

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20. Final Fun: Code Words, Lemon Diaphragms, & Animal News

• (160:15–161:12, 148:40–149:46)
  • They return to ancient contraception (using lemons and crocodile dung!) as part of a riff on the search for male birth control, ending on a doozy: “We're talking about a sour puss.”
  • Listener story about a four-eared kitten, with jokes about Q-tip budgets and being “ignored twice as much” by your cat.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Cassingles were what poor people bought when you couldn’t afford the whole tape." (Jeff, 07:38)
• “Everything today, it’s been one of those days.” (Tom, 04:35)
• "I just want to meet the first guy who found out you could eat chickens’ unborn." (Jimmy Shubert, 40:30)
• “I'm not going to read this guy's name because... this is just awful. This guy may have relatives..." (Tom, 59:39)
• "You're supposed to mount them on the wall, not on the side of the road." (Pat, 61:36)
• “Hey, do you want to paint the barn later?” (Jess Hooker, 88:33)
• “That’s Gen Lazy!” (Josh, 95:47)
• "Doesn't that sound like—your uncle’s penis?" (Tom, 77:04)
• “If anybody... There’s no way that you could out-drive me. No way.” (Christy, 159:44)
• "We're talking about a sour puss." (Tom riffing on the lemon diaphragm story, 161:04)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:15–03:07 – “Kick Ass Cowbell” parody & comedy opening
• 03:07–12:11 – Cassette nostalgia, “cassingles,” tech memories
• 15:01–16:30 – Tom’s balloon & kid birthday story
• 19:06–23:54 – Listener letters: food, wildlife, hand cream
• 26:39–32:30 – Wild chickens in Hawaii, feral animal debates
• 39:46–42:16 – Stand-up: Jimmy Shubert & “Ghost Chickens in the Sky”
• 59:39–63:08 – The infamous Kentucky "deceased deer" news story
• 73:04–81:01 – Cambridge Dictionary new words quiz
• 94:49–104:43 – Romance milestones: surveys, “three-date rule,” code words
• 127:51–129:40 – Floating sauna/ice floe rescue
• 132:16–134:56 – Naked ambulance theft chase (Wisconsin)
• 143:24–145:25 – Gen Z chooses sleep over sex
• 150:37–151:39 – Hyundai endorsement (Christy)
• 153:11–158:03 – Waffle fries & snack science debate

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Tone & Style

The podcast features the BOB & TOM Show’s trademark: a mix of smart-alecky, Midwestern jocularity, affectionate teasing, seamlessly segued news and bits, and fast-pivoting panel banter. The group navigates from serious (awful news stories, relationship change) to silly (cassette splicing, pet stories, weird law) with “dad joke” aplomb and wit.

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For New Listeners

If you’re new to the BOB & TOM Show, this episode encapsulates the program’s wide range: classic comedy bits, inventive musical parodies, news-from-the-weird, relatable “life is messy” stories (many at Tom’s expense), listener interaction, and playful disrespect for both current events and the limits of good taste. The hosts move fast, circle back on threads, and don’t shy away from the absurd or the risqué — making for a consistently lively, laughter-heavy experience.

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For more details, visit: bobandtom.com or catch commercial-free VIP episodes.

Transcript

[A]

It's the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom Records presents the ultimate Kick Ass collection. It's the greatest hits of the cowbell. You'll get em all. Mississippi Queen from Mountain. Honky Tonk Women from the Stones. Lowrider from war.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Down in the Corner from Cretins. Finally, rock's most underrated instrument steps up front. It's Kick Ass Cowbell, exclusively from Bob and Tom Records. You'll also get Alky the Clown's famous talking cowbell routine. Hey, how are you today, Clarence Cowbell. Oh, is that right?

[C]

Me too.

[A]

Hey, Clarence, you want to watch a cartoon?

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Me too.

[C]

Yeah, let's roll a cartoo.

[A]

Oh, God, I got a headache.

[E]

All right.

[F]

Roll the damn cards too.

[A]

Plus, you'll get the cowbell's greatest Olympic moments. It's Kick Ass Cowbell from Bob and Tom Records. This collection goes beyond any previous cowbell compilations featuring remixed classic tracks. Where we turn up the cowbell. It's LED Z. All it glitters is gold and she's buying a stairway. The Beatles yesterday

[D]

All my trouble Seem so far away.

[A]

Now it looks as though they're here to stay. You want cowbell? We got it. You'll be moved when you've heard this collection. Act now and get Rock's greatest bells. And whistles featuring Molly Hatchet, Steve miller, The Scorpions, And of course the theme to the Andy Griffiths show. It's Kickass Cowbell only from Bottom Tom Records. No cows were harmed making this record. Unless, of course, you caught the cheeseburgers we ate in the studio.

[C]

Ah, Wind of change for the Scorpions. I remember being a young lad and buying that single cassette. A CAS single, if you will.

[A]

Wow.

[D]

Didn't even have a B side.

[C]

I think there was another song on it. I could not tell you what it was.

[A]

Did you just keep rewinding it?

[C]

Yeah, y.

[A]

Remember those days. Rewinding. Okay. Sorry.

[C]

The Bob and Tom Show. There's Christy Lee at the news desk.

[D]

Hi.

[C]

Pat Godwin in the musical arena. Hello. I'm gonna say two, three years from now. Arenas for you, arenas for me. Oh, yeah.

[D]

Oh yeah. Take us all out on tour with you.

[C]

There's Jeff Oskay.

[E]

Hey, man.

[C]

Tay's Cosby across the way. Hello. I am Josh Arnold, and Tom is over there preparing a new. Is that a fresh roll of lint remover?

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Nice.

[A]

It comes with a white dog. When you get the dog to get the puppy, they hand you 4,000 lint removers. Just getting some dog hair off. Sorry.

[E]

Sure.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

Is wrestling with this thing now. Great to see you all. Thank you very much for coming. Okay.

[C]

Likewise.

[A]

Yeah, I'm completely discombobulated not driving my car.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Got a loaner.

[D]

And it's a car. It's not an suv.

[A]

I don't think I've driven a car in several years.

[D]

I pulled in the parking lot and I went, boy, this ought to be interesting.

[A]

I wish we had video of me trying to get out of it.

[C]

Oh, sure, yeah.

[A]

I'm so used to getting out of a suv, you put your leg down. Wait a minute. My knees too high. I need help here. Just everything today, it's been one of those days.

[D]

Oh, really?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

We'll get through it.

[D]

And you're sitting really low. Does that feel weird?

[A]

That was weird. The car thing was weird. I didn't have my garage door closed.

[C]

Oh, yeah, sure.

[A]

So I get out of the car to go close the garage and the siren goes off and the horn starts going. Apparently this car, if you get out with your key in the pocket, it starts honking the horn.

[D]

Why?

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

Yeah, I've had a car.

[A]

I guess that way no one can drive.

[C]

The car was still running, right?

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Yeah, the car was. You didn't say the car was still running.

[A]

Well, I didn't back out of my garage, turn the car off, walk back in the house to.

[D]

You didn't say you backed out of the garage. You just said you went to close the garage door. You could have pulled in the garage.

[A]

Well, I could have left the garage door closed, but then I wouldn't be able to drive out. You see my problem here? I was trying not to wake up the neighborhood with the car going.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Then I got here and the computer had done a whatever, rebooting thing and all of my show prep that I spent hours doing yesterday, gone.

[C]

That's why I don't do it.

[A]

Anyway, other than that. Oh, and did I mention that I had to get up at 2 o' clock in the morning because my dog walked up to me and gave me the look? So I went outside. I'm.

[C]

Oh, I thought he made love.

[D]

No, no, no, wait a minute.

[A]

It was.

[B]

It was.

[A]

It was rough.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm glad I got outside in time. There was an incident, but.

[C]

Yeah, your dogs are never not.

[D]

I don't know what you're feeding them.

[C]

Yeah, they are the illest, sickest dogs.

[A]

I gave him his regular stuff. I don't know what happened, but I got him out on time.

[D]

He's eating something somewhere.

[C]

Well, we know that he cleans the dishes in the dishwasher.

[D]

Well, that's true.

[A]

Yeah, of course he did. We had spaghetti last night. That couldn't be it. In any event, here I am, ready to go. Let's go.

[G]

Okay.

[A]

Let's rock. We have a story coming up this morning. We can't really read it as written, Christy. The more I think about involves the Kentucky guy. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. I don't know why you even gave it to me.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So disgusting.

[A]

Well, I. I can dance around it. Let me. I will get to it.

[E]

When I saw the headline yesterday, I thought it was like an onion.

[D]

Yeah, I did, too.

[C]

Really? No.

[B]

Yeah, it's real.

[A]

There's a. I think four different levels of. Of awfulness to it.

[D]

And why are we doing it?

[A]

I'm just.

[E]

Your first day, Christy.

[A]

I'm not writing a song for that. Everyone. Everyone will feel better about themselves, I think is what the reason.

[D]

Okay, that makes sense.

[A]

Okay. Now what else is happening? Everybody doing okay?

[E]

Did you ever own a single?

[D]

No.

[E]

A cassette single? Just one.

[A]

I know I don't. I owned a lot of cassettes.

[E]

Well, casingals were what poor people bought when you couldn't afford the whole tape.

[C]

399 instead of 899.

[E]

Yeah. I remember I had the. Into deep Back to the Hotel cassingle.

[C]

Nice.

[E]

And I wore the. I wore the ink off of it.

[D]

That's how often I never owned a single.

[A]

I had a. I. I would borrow records and record the monda cassettes.

[C]

Oh.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

So I had a lot of homemade albums, but I. I never bought a casingle.

[D]

Well, I think we were. You guys are just that much younger than us. By the time we could afford a whole album.

[E]

You could afford the 8.99.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

I love cassettes. I still have.

[D]

I still have cassettes.

[A]

Yeah, I still. I do. Yeah. And I have a boombox. What's. Is that okay to say boom box as opposed to ghetto blaster?

[C]

Well, now you've said the ones I have.

[A]

The one that has the. The duplicating. You can put a cassette in or make a copy of it. Yeah, I still have one of those.

[D]

Where is it?

[A]

It's at the shack.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, but when CDs came out, didn't you go, oh, this is way better? Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, but there was a transition period where it wasn't in the car, but I had a cassette player in my car. Sure. And then, I don't know. Can you still get a CD player in an automobile? Is that a thing?

[E]

I don't Know, I have one in mind.

[C]

I have one.

[A]

Do you? Yeah.

[D]

But, I mean, you guys have older cars.

[E]

I mean, like, well, it's only six years old. It's not like I'm driving a.02.

[A]

Like. And then there was a. The rebirth of the cassette when that movie Guardians of the Galaxy came out and the only cassette factory in America started cranking them out again.

[D]

Yep.

[C]

Well, all we asked was if you ever bought a casingal.

[A]

I'm trying to educate these.

[B]

Now we hear an hour later.

[A]

What was your casingo Was.

[C]

I had a bunch. I had a bunch. Yeah. Winds of. Winds of change. Scorpions.

[E]

Did you ever get in trouble? I would get in trouble because you would kind of like fast forward while the play was on so you could hear the next song. And I would get in trouble for pressing the buttons too quick, like hitting. Like, play, stop, play stop trying to find the song.

[A]

Oh, my.

[E]

You're gonna wear out that recorder. You're hitting those buttons too fast.

[C]

You would wear out the tape more.

[A]

So now, did you ever take a pencil.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And you'd spin the inner sprocket of the cassette to get it to catch up?

[E]

Yeah. That was cool.

[A]

Or it would rip and you'd take Scotch tape and fix it.

[C]

Never had to do that.

[A]

Oh, I had to do that all the time.

[D]

What?

[A]

You take the. The cassette. The tape would get caught in the machine. You'd pull it out and part of it would be missing. So you'd take scissors and cut the bads part part out and just splice it together with Scotch tape.

[D]

That worked?

[C]

Sure.

[A]

Absolutely.

[D]

I mean, I use splicing tape here.

[A]

Well, I. This is before I was.

[D]

But didn't it make a sound?

[A]

I'm not saying it necessarily rejoined at the right part.

[C]

Right, right. Yeah.

[A]

You know, it'd be. Do you feel. Yeah, those were great. I really liked it. I really liked the cassettes. And they had the. The head cleaner, which was the. You clean the heads on the cassette player with a special thing.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

That'll get you high special.

[A]

Oh, really?

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Did you huff that?

[E]

Well, I mean, that's what poppers are as. Head cleaner.

[A]

It's the same stuff.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Really? I'm very sure. I mean, when you have it, it feels the same.

[A]

Well, good to know what's coming up in the world of news and sports. Everybody, you got something for me?

[D]

Boy, do we. We have a whole bunch of stuff for you. Let's see. We have a floating sauna that was rescued. Because when your sauna's Floating. You got a problem? Yeah, yeah. Did you know that horses winnie but they whistle while they work?

[A]

Yeah. This is a. That's a big story for some reason, some science about the nature of the Winnie of a horse.

[D]

We have a lot of love and romance stories today because we had a couple yesterday we didn't get.

[E]

I got some Olympic viewership numbers.

[D]

Oh, that's.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Were they up way. Oh, good.

[A]

I have an unusual story about elephant birth control.

[C]

Really?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Those are some. Those are some big diaphragms.

[C]

Yeah, that's got to be.

[A]

It's like the big frisbee. Remember that? The big black one, the platter. Okay, well, satellite dish. Yeah, yeah, we'll find out about that. We have other exciting things coming up today and. Oh, there is a surprise coming. Oh, I don't want to go into it too deeply, but yes, it.

[C]

A guest or food?

[A]

I can't say.

[B]

Oh, give us a guest.

[H]

I'm not going to give you any

[A]

kind of a hint. Okay, I'll let you figure it out. And we do have the most disgusting story in the history of the show.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, no.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

It's bad, Josh. I mean, it's really bad.

[A]

It's so bad, I don't even think I'm going to say the name of the guy.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Just on. Just on General. It's just so awful.

[C]

I look forward to hearing it.

[A]

This guy probably has brothers and sisters and relatives.

[C]

Something he did or something that happened to him?

[A]

Oh, no, no. Something he did.

[C]

Oh, well, all right.

[A]

If I could give you 100 guesses, you wouldn't get it.

[D]

No, you don't want to. If you guessed it, I would be really worried about you.

[A]

That's very terribly sick. That's all. That's all on the way. Including, we have a freak kitten out there, a vanished mother who's been found, but. And also a couple of new words from the Cambridge dictionary.

[C]

Ah, excellent.

[A]

They never fail. They never fail to irritate. Plus a Gen Z update. That's all on the way. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. There's nothing like fresh home cooked meals. And hello Fresh has made it easier than ever with recipes that feel good and tastes delicious night after night. And it's so easy to prepare the meals so the whole family can help out and make dinner especially good on those busy weeknights. That's right.

[C]

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[A]

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[C]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee's at the news desk.

[D]

Hi there.

[A]

Hi.

[C]

Matt Godwins across the way. Hello, there's Jeff Oskay.

[E]

Hey man.

[C]

Ace Cosby there. Hey, I'm Josh Arnold and there's Tom, who's admittedly had a, a bit of a shaky morning, but we're getting back on track. Yeah, I just noticed something in the green room.

[A]

Yes, what's that?

[C]

I'm assuming that you found in one of your pockets while you were in there one of the dog poop bags empty, but.

[A]

Oh, there's a dog poop bag in the floor.

[D]

No.

[C]

Well, near the coffee machine.

[A]

Oh, sorry. Yeah, I carry them around. It must have been in my pocket and fallen out.

[C]

Yeah, I was just grateful that it hadn't been used yet.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. They're biodegradable by the way.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. You get the good ones.

[A]

Yeah, they're.

[C]

Oh, they're very nice earthwise or something like that.

[A]

Yes, I'm a big fan. So I'm not in my own car because my car was getting serviced and then it was done at 5 o' clock and but they closed at 5:30 and I had a car full of balloons.

[D]

Oh sure, of course you do. Who wouldn't have a car for.

[A]

Well, it's Hart's birthday so I went to Michael's and I got and check local listing. There were about 80 mile an hour winds and you walk out of the store with all these balloons and the numbers 10 and helium and trying to get them into the back. It was topical. Yeah. Would have been a pretty good video. You try to get them all in and then they start flying out one.

[D]

So you get to get your car back tomorrow.

[A]

I get it today. It was done yesterday. I just couldn't get. I, I couldn't pull.

[D]

Now you're driving in the car with all the Balloons in the back. Could you see anything?

[A]

No, you can't see anything. That would have been great to get pulled over, sir. Well, I've got a. My daughter's having her 10th birthday tomorrow. Happy birthday her, by the way.

[D]

So did you decorate it so when she wakes up this morning.

[A]

Oh, it's usually Kelly did it.

[C]

It's.

[A]

It's unbelievable.

[C]

Oh, wonderful.

[D]

Nice.

[A]

That's great.

[C]

That's big, man. Double digits.

[D]

Sure.

[A]

It's kind of sad.

[C]

Oh, sure. For the. Yeah. But for her it's exciting.

[A]

I don't think.

[B]

Why is it sad?

[A]

Because I don't think I have not had a child under 10 in 35 years.

[B]

We'll get busy.

[E]

Yeah. It's not too late.

[D]

What are you doing?

[A]

Well, it's too late for that.

[C]

You're gonna steal Allsman's, aren't you?

[A]

I know. Has Ms. Hallsman had her baby?

[D]

Not yet. I checked in with her yesterday.

[A]

Well, it's. Today's the day. Okay. Okay.

[D]

Well, you know babies, they could come two weeks late if they want.

[C]

Well, I'm afraid to check in with her.

[D]

Why?

[C]

Last week when she was here, she was ready for that thing to be out and she was a little snappy.

[B]

Yeah, she was.

[D]

And you live closest. You're like her backyard neighbor.

[C]

Yeah, I know. I'm excited because I'll be able to go over there and sniff that baby's head.

[B]

You could help out. It's a home birth, right?

[C]

Yes. Yeah. I am the doula.

[A]

She's wisely going to a hospital.

[D]

Gorilla give birth in a pool the other day.

[C]

Oh, that's a weird neighborhood you live in.

[A]

Wow. Really?

[B]

Well, she did work with the zoo, so I did.

[D]

Not at our zoo. No, this was a different one. But it was a water birth for a gorilla. I didn't know they did such a thing.

[A]

Really?

[D]

They had it in a big pool. You know, like one of those big.

[A]

Just like. Just like in the forest.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, Just like a woman would do.

[E]

You know, one of my best friends had her baby in her hot tub on her back porch. And that baby was 11 pounds, 11 ounces. Natural?

[D]

No.

[E]

Into the hot tub on purpose.

[C]

That's rough.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Was there a suture involved later on?

[E]

No, I think. Not that I'm aware of. But yeah, she had the baby right there at her house. And now that kid's 19 years old.

[D]

11.

[A]

And mom is still limping.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

One piece was 10 something. But I'm sure it was medically assisted in a way. Like there was at Least an epidural

[D]

and probably an episiotomy.

[A]

Okay, these are big words. Let's just move forward here. We have to read your letters. We do this all the time on the show. And your letters, of course, are brought to you this morning by our friends at the Sleep Number Bed. I know, I'm a big fan. Do you want to tell me more about it?

[E]

I would, but I don't know anything.

[D]

A save on personalized comfort during Sleep Number's President's Day sale. Their best deals are on now. It's a limited time only at the sleep number or sleepnumber.com.

[C]

excellent.

[D]

I had a friend just buy a new Sleep Number bed and by golly, they gave me a whole bucks. Oh, you gave me $100 for referring them.

[C]

How about that?

[D]

I get to buy a new mattress topper. I'm very excited about that. Well, thank you, Sleep Number.

[C]

You know what else we're excited about, Tom?

[A]

What's that?

[C]

It's fish sandwich season.

[D]

Yeah, it is.

[C]

Oh, and we've been talking about our love of the filet o fish and how the double filet o fish is.

[A]

This is the McDonald's filet o fish.

[C]

Yeah. Well, Marjorie writes in with something that I was aware of and I've mentioned before, but it bears repeating that Arby's offers a King's Hawaiian Fish deluxe sandwich. I'm a big fan. I get it every year. And it's the fish sandwich on the King's Hawaiian bread.

[B]

I don't think that works. Does that work?

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

Because the bun's sweet and the fish is salty.

[D]

They'll be good.

[C]

That's why.

[A]

Delightful.

[C]

Yeah. Good stuff.

[A]

Good to know. Dear Bomb and Tom show writes Sean from Cape Coral, Florida. A lot of news stories about the iguana problem down here. Here in Cape Coral, our houses on one of the many canals, we have tons of iguanas that sun themselves in the seawall. I have found about 12 or 13 over the years in the yard under two big oak trees. I let them be until they snap out of the cold induced status. What happens is they get cold and they drop from the trees. They look dead. After four or five days of regular 70 plus degree temperatures, most of them are still around.

[D]

Sure.

[A]

They don't all sleep. Some just die. That's how the letter ends. And then we had the story about the iguana pizza.

[C]

That's the motto in a lot of nursing homes too. Not all sleeps. I'm just.

[A]

Okay, next. Who else has got a letter?

[D]

I have one. Dear Josh or chicken. Longtime listener. Name withheld. Something about Duke Cannon Hand Cream. I wasn't.

[A]

I got one too.

[D]

I was not aware of Duke Cannon Hand Cream. Must have talked about this while I was.

[C]

Yeah, Tom and Chick are big fans.

[A]

I.

[D]

Stuff is great. My hands are getting back to normal. Thank you so much. Longtime listener.

[A]

It's called Bloody Knuckles Hand Balm. And I've been having some problems and someone recommended this stuff and it's great.

[D]

Oh, really?

[A]

This is not an official commercial. It's fragrance free and it's not greasy. Oh, you'll have to try it. Yeah.

[D]

Well, this person is a big fan.

[A]

And Duke Cannon sounds like Sam Spade's assistant detective.

[C]

It's an awesome name.

[A]

It's. Yeah, but it's very good stuff. Funny enough, I have a letter about that too. I work in healthcare. We constantly have to use hand sanitizer, which is painful in the winter. I ordered the Duke Cannon Bloody Knuckles Hand Balm, and I love it. It's not greasy at all. Thank you.

[D]

Huh.

[A]

P.S. i went to the UK with Christy. I had so much fun. I signed up for Italy.

[D]

Who's that?

[A]

Lisa? Yes. Who this is, of course. Okay. Well, Lisa.

[D]

Oh, Lisa, that's so exciting. I'm glad you're coming with us.

[A]

And after the Olympics, I think Italy, among other things. Italy did great in the games, but it also just looked great. NBC did a terrific job. I imagine more people are gonna want to travel to Italy.

[D]

And if you were wanting to go on our trip, I know there's a wait list for fall. It looks like we may be looking at a trip in the spring.

[A]

Holy cow of this year.

[D]

Well, no, next year. 2020. Still. I mean, that's pretty exciting.

[C]

Very.

[A]

During the big snowstorm recently, I was stuck for three days at a truck stop. I sent several pics and videos home. We live in the North Carolina mountains. One video was a pickup with a plow attached clearing the parking lot. Two of the kids stayed with us last week while I was home. I'm a trucker. The Weather Channel showed the mess in the Northeast. My 7 year old grandson said, look, Papa, a big shovel truck.

[C]

Yeah, makes sense.

[A]

So I thought of Tom and his problem with words. Thank you for keeping an old truck driver entertained. This is from rj. Rj, I'm glad you're out there hauling stuff around for us. We certainly appreciate.

[D]

I had my annual homeowners meeting last night and apparently one of my neighbors and I wasn't able to talk to him at length. I really wanted to know about this sure has a robotic snowplow.

[C]

Oh, yeah. They're kind of like Roombas.

[D]

I guess it works. I mean, everyone in the neighborhood was talking about how cool this was. I had never heard of that before. I might, actually.

[A]

I've seen the robot lawnmowers.

[C]

Yeah. And I've only seen the robotic snowplows on video. I've never seen one in person.

[D]

Yeah, I haven't either. Now I'm gonna walk down there next to Noah and see if I can watch.

[A]

It's weird because he's got a long driveway. The cool thing with those robotic lawnmowers is you have to speak to them in Spanish.

[D]

Oh, really?

[A]

The damnedest thing. I'll explain how that works later, Pat.

[B]

No, I got it.

[A]

I know. You know.

[E]

Dear Bob and Tom show, I had to regain my composure While driving on i70 when you were playing the snoring, yawning, vomiting mashup.

[C]

It's a mess of noise.

[E]

I drive a semi, and anyone who could see me probably thought I was having a medical emergency. Tom's yawn sounds like the Mr. Fister moan on steroids. You guys are the best. Dan in Cincinnati.

[A]

Dan, can you explain? I was recording some commercials.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

And they left the mics on. I didn't. So that's a real yawn. Followed by. Is that. Hooker's snoring's first, I believe.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And then what's.

[E]

Here's the longer one, and that's real.

[C]

Now, that last one is me doing an impression of your brother. Of my brothers, or I throwing up because we're very loud.

[A]

But the beginning is hooker snoring, and that's legit.

[C]

You're young, and Tom's yawn is legit.

[D]

Right.

[A]

Now play it one more time. I want to see if how this compares to Mr. Fister. Okay, You. You heard the yawn. Now this is the Mr. Fister jingle. Hang on one second. I'm having a technical issue. This is the Mr. Fister jingle, Mr. Fisher.

[D]

Yeah. Very simple.

[E]

That's pretty cool.

[C]

It's almost like if you took that and if you put it in slow mo, we would get your yawn.

[A]

Yeah. That's Mike Mark, by the way, doing the Mr. Fister.

[E]

Right.

[A]

That's. He's a savant when it comes to the.

[B]

That is his finest impression.

[A]

He was also the one in Fart Right. Anal strips. Was that also. I can't remember.

[C]

And he's the Amazing Crisco's assistant.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, that's right.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

That's a true classic. Can we Play that anymore.

[C]

I forgot we played it within the last year.

[A]

Yeah, we'll have to dig that up. We had a lot of chicken stories in the news of late, and now

[D]

you discovered chicken strips for the first time, it seems like.

[A]

Oh, yeah. What was that?

[D]

Raising gains.

[A]

Amazing. My daughter said, let's go. I'd never even. Never been there. Yeah, I'd heard of it, but I guess that's a brand new one. And it's.

[C]

And you love it.

[A]

It was wonderful.

[C]

What sorority are you pledging?

[A]

Well, if it means eating that, I. I'll go for Kappa Capo. Something.

[C]

Why not? Yeah. There are three second. They may not do that.

[B]

Is it better than Chick Fil A?

[A]

They're both great. Oh, yeah, they're both great.

[D]

I love chocolate.

[A]

But it's open on Sunday. Oh. Oh, that's their. That's the trick there.

[C]

Just bring your own bun.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Because they don't have sandwiches. Freezing canes. It's just the tender.

[A]

No, but they had. They had Texas toast. You could take the Texas toast, make a sandwich. It was great. I know nothing about the place, but I loved it.

[D]

Well, I love Texas toast.

[A]

But we were talking about chickens because we had a story about it's now legal in Hawaii, I guess, to shoot the wild chickens.

[D]

Well, I have that right here.

[C]

Doesn't the story say kill? And we kind of. It doesn't say whether or not it has to be humanely allow residents to

[D]

kill feral chickens that have been plaguing communities for years. Early crowing and aggressive pecking are just some of the complaints Hawaiians have had with the pervasive fowl. While trapping efforts have proven expensive and unsuccessful. So the lawmakers have since introduced a chicken killing bill.

[C]

Chicken killing bill.

[A]

This comes to us from Edward listening on the Big Island, Hawaii. Thanks, Edward. Appreciate the fact that you're listening. So what I'm trying to figure out what time. So it's right after midnight, I guess, right?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

He goes. I listened to the podcast. I've been listening to you guys for 30 years. I live in Hawaii now, but I moved there from Ohio. The chickens are rampant here in the Big Island. We'll wake up in the middle of the night to those annoying cocks crowing as early as 2am we did not wait for the legislation you were reading about. If a rooster approaches our property, it meets its end via pellet gun. Then he puts in parentheses, josh with scope.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

This guy's taking it. That guy. That would be fun, Tom. What?

[D]

It'd be fun.

[A]

Yes. They're chickens, for God's sake.

[D]

Well, can you eat a feral chicken? Are they.

[A]

I don't know, but I'd be happy to shoot one. The chick. Oh, no. The chicken is not eaten. It's, quote, promptly buried, which is the hard part.

[C]

Does anybody else get the impression that Tom just really needs to shoot anyone this morning?

[D]

Yeah,

[C]

go ahead.

[A]

We only kill the males. We let the females roam. They're less annoying. We bury them almost immediately, which is hard because we hit rock very quickly. There's not a lot of soil here.

[C]

Oh, so they're not eating them or anything. They're just burying them.

[A]

And. And the females. Oh, this is interesting. They help eat the bugs. Cockroaches as large as your thumb and centipedes nearly a foot long.

[C]

You know, this is the side of Hawaii we rarely hear about.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I was talking to a friend of mine that was living there. I guess a jar of peanut butter, 16 bucks.

[C]

Oh, it's got.

[D]

That's the other thing. Living on an island, you have toward everything.

[A]

Yeah, but there's pluses and minuses.

[D]

Sure, sure.

[A]

He goes, you can cook feral chickens. Edward writes, you can cook feral chickens. They are gamey and tough. You have to slow cook them for hours, boil or stew and add a marinade that he puts perennial Josh. Not worth the effort, but possible. All right, well, aloha, Edward. I'm glad you're listening. On the big Island.

[E]

Yeah. It's amazing what a chicken will eat. Like there was a mouse loose in like our backyard and these chickens, One grabbed it and all of them go at it and they all just tore it to shreds and all ran in

[C]

different directions with the mouse.

[A]

And do you still have the chickens? You get run?

[E]

No, they all got eaten, but we had.

[D]

Did you eat them?

[E]

No, they all got eaten by just random animals throughout the foxes, coyotes. But we. We got a rooster to protect our chickens. Yeah, and that's what they don't like. You just think a rooster crows when the sun. No, a rooster crows anytime it senses danger. Oh, and our rooster was a chicken because it sensed danger all day long. Just all day, every day.

[A]

Dare I ask, is that the origin of the phrase chicken meaning to be cowardly?

[C]

Maybe. I don't know. Oh, yeah, it must be something. The chickens are skittish at least.

[E]

So the chickens were fine. The rooster was the worst purchase we ever made.

[A]

Isn't it true that if you take a fence and just have a straight like 20 foot fence and not a pen, just a fence and put the chicken Feet on one side and the chicken another. They can't figure out how to go around.

[E]

Oh, yeah, they're dumb. They're real, real, real dumb.

[A]

But delicious. I think we can all agree the eggs were great.

[D]

They were great.

[B]

I missed you very much.

[C]

There was a chicken that my brother and I lived in this place and there was a chicken that would just wander around and we didn't know where it came from. And one day my brother fed it chicken and then he gagged real bad and stopped the chicken.

[B]

Gagged.

[C]

Loved eating the chicken. And that grossed my brother out, who did. Grossed him out to where he was dry heaving. And then we just went inside.

[B]

The chicken gagged.

[A]

Good to know we're going to have a little chicken tribute when we come back. But first, a couple of quick things. Christie, big fan of the Hyundai.

[D]

Boy, am I.

[A]

Me too. And the There's a special event going on with Hyundai right now across the board with all kinds of different models on special pricing. A special pricing level right now. I want to remind you quickly of why the motto no cleats on the seats applies to Hyundai. It's because of the Hyundai Palisade hybrid with those captain's chairs for the backseat so the kids can get to the way back, as I like to call it, and they don't have to get mud all over the seats with their dirty cleats from soccer, etc. Etc. So tell me more, Christy, as someone, you've been driving a Hyundai for quite a while.

[D]

I've been driving a Hyundai hybrid for two years now. And I just love it. It's really, really nice for the driver as well, because there's a driver assist, there's a lane assist, so it keeps your car from going, like, into the other lane. It, like, knows. It's amazing. It's magic. Yeah. Hyundai hybrid. And you get so many miles per gallon or whatever.

[A]

It's an EPA estimate range.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Of 619 miles. And the MP, I think, I think it's close to 35.

[D]

35 miles. Yeah. It's incredible. It's wonderful.

[A]

And you don't have to plug it in.

[D]

No, that's a hybrid. It goes from gas to electric, and it knows when to do that and when not to do that.

[A]

Pretty amazing way to find out about us. To talk to people that know what they're talking about. Not just happy drivers. Go to Hyundai USA.com or head out to your Hyundai dealer. Once again, a very special event they're doing right now with all kinds of different models of the Hyundai you can even call them 562-314-4603 to find the nearest dealer and to find out about the great vehicles from Hyundai. Now, coming up, we have a special chicken tribute. I'll be happy to report we have two different unusual things. One of them applies to the story Josh just told. You'll see in a minute. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[I]

Just gotta get ahold of us. Call, text, or email. Get all the contact information you [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[C]

Hi there, it's the Bob and Tom Show. Thank you so much for being with us. We're live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. And Christy Lee, you're sitting at the news desk, aren't you?

[D]

I'm so happy to be here today. Josh Arnold.

[C]

There's Pat Godwin.

[B]

Thrilled to be here, too, Josh.

[C]

All right, Jeff. Oskar, what about you?

[E]

Yeah, I'm here.

[C]

Yeah, man. Yeah. Ace Cosby. Pleased. Very pleased. Pleased to see you. I'm Josh Arnold, grateful as always. And there's Tommy.

[D]

Hello.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I'm, yeah, I'm a little. Once again, discombobulated. So tell me more about this. You were telling me you went to a meeting last night of your homeowners association, and somebody has a.

[D]

A robotic snowplow.

[A]

And it, whatever it uses, is it gps?

[D]

I. That's all I heard. And everybody was like, can you have your robot come over and do my driveway next time we snows? So I don't know how I'm. I'm gonna look into it, though.

[A]

So it's the same thing as a Roomba, I would assume, except the Roomba bumps into walls.

[D]

Yeah. So how would it know when you're driving? Well, maybe when it hits grass or

[A]

a wall, maybe there's a. I know they make those dog collars now that are on gps, right?

[E]

Which, yeah.

[C]

There may be little poles you put or whatever.

[B]

And sensors have the snow get in the way of that sensor.

[C]

I don't know how it works like

[B]

it does in a car.

[C]

I've only seen videos, and it's pretty cool. And some of those robot lawnmowers.

[D]

There it is.

[A]

There's a video of it.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

At that.

[E]

It looks like they're about $5,000.

[A]

Yeah, well, that one's currently plowing one inch of snow.

[C]

Right.

[A]

It's not that impressive.

[C]

It's tiny bulldozers.

[D]

It's $5,000.

[A]

Exactly.

[D]

Good job, Jeff.

[A]

Now, the. One of my neighbors has the. What Is it the Yarbo? Yeah, the Roomba equivalent of the. Of the lawnmower. And much like when I was a kid when I would cut the grass, the Roomba lawnmower has a Roomba lawnmower that follows it. That's the dad. And it shouts out where he misses spots and sends him back out there before he can go watch some good black and white television. It's amazing. They think of.

[C]

Really.

[A]

They do think of everything.

[C]

Your lines are crooked.

[B]

I love cutting grass. Anybody else?

[E]

Oh, yeah, my gosh.

[C]

I do.

[A]

Rotary mower or the kind. Rotary. The kind that went like a helicopter.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

As opposed to the kind. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I had the other kind of.

[B]

I couldn't hear my parents argue. It was the. It was great. Not even joking.

[C]

Yeah, I bet.

[A]

I'll. I'll be delicate and I'll. I'll semi tell this story. This is the truth. I know someone who is a man of considerable means.

[C]

Okay, I'm out.

[A]

He has a. He has an. It's kind of a house, but it's sort of a. What's the word I'm looking for?

[E]

Estate.

[A]

Estate, yeah, you might call it that. Mansion. Very. Not a mansion, just a nice house. But it's got a lot of land and a lot of grass. And this guy could. He could afford to hire people to cut it with scissors, but he. He does it himself. And I am convinced he does it because he likes to put his headphones on and he can't hear. He can't hear the misses. Just a theory. He really enjoys it.

[C]

My mom always loved mowing the lawn too. Probably for the same reasons you're talking about. Yeah, my four boys won't shut the hell up. Their father's yelling.

[D]

I've never gotten to mow on a riding lawnmower. Have you?

[C]

No.

[E]

Come on over. I'll let you take the John Deere out.

[D]

Really?

[E]

Yeah, Have a spin.

[A]

The ones that have the. That you steer with the poles.

[D]

Zero turn.

[E]

Yeah, that's.

[A]

Those scare me because you'll be driving your car and you'll see somebody and they're. They're going. Are they gonna. Are they gonna stop? Because they'll go right to the edge of the street, spin around. Yeah, they've got it down. I'm always afraid I'm gonna get the rookie that hits the wrong thing. And all of a sudden I've got a dead guy in the. On my hood and a grass stain on my sunroof.

[E]

Well, that's what's scary about the. The robot lawnmowers like, what if your WI fi goes out or whatever and that thing just takes off down the street with that blade going a hour just across.

[A]

It probably has pets and everything. It probably has some kind of shut off. Shut off. That neutralizes. I don't know.

[D]

This thing will clear up to 12 inches of snow, it says. That's amazing.

[A]

Wow. Interesting.

[E]

$5,000. You can hire a guy a lot.

[C]

Yeah, that's. I could go to the neighbor kid who does it on my street, and for $5,000, he's. I own him until he's 80.

[A]

Yeah. Which I like. I used to love shoveling driveway and I still do.

[D]

But you guys have no idea because you don't know when we moved our driveway. Well, Jeff.

[E]

Oh, your driveway is treacherous.

[D]

It's horrible.

[E]

It's like driving up a mountain in Colorado.

[D]

Yeah, it's bad.

[A]

Oh, does it have at the bottom one of those escape things?

[E]

It should. It should.

[A]

That always scares me when I'm driving on i70 in Colorado and it's got all those shoots in case your brakes.

[E]

So I run off.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I grew up, so that's all it is.

[A]

Now we were talking about chickens. You got a nice letter from Edward, who listens to our show in from the big island in Hawaii. Thanks, Edward. We appreciate your letting us know about the chickens. And he, on a regular basis, pellet guns the chickens to death. And there's just been legislation. Apparently now it's legal.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

To. To pick off the chickens, take them out. And then you told a story, Josh, about your brother feeding some chickens some chicken.

[C]

Yeah, it was an experiment that backfired on him. We had this chicken outside our house, and he grabbed some fried chicken that we had and he took some pieces and he threw it at the chicken. And lo and behold, the chicken started eating it. And it bummed us out. My brother dry heaved and we went inside and we just were kind of ashamed and horrified.

[A]

Well, now, having stated that, I want to play the following. This is a good friend of the show. You'll hear who it is in just a second. Jimmy Shubert is our guest.

[F]

I'll tell you, something happened to me the other day. I was in this diner getting breakfast, and I look at the menu. I guess they got a menu called a protein scramble. And I'm looking at it, and basically it's an egg omelette with chicken meat in it, which is wrong. I mean, you don't take the eggs out of the chicken and then cook the chicken and put it in the Eggs. Okay, that's too much chicken. I don't know who's back there cooking

[A]

some kind of poultry.

[F]

Cereal killer? Some barnyard strangler? That's an omelet that spans two generations.

[B]

That's wrong.

[F]

That's not breakfast. That's a vendetta, you know, that's like taking a hamburger and dipping into your milk. You don't do it. It's not kosher. You got to separate some things. You know what I mean?

[A]

That's not breakfast. It's offense.

[F]

What do you got against the chicken? I feel. I feel bad for the chicken, you

[G]

know what I mean?

[F]

I. I just want to meet the guy who. The first guy who found out that you could eat the chickens unborn, you know, Cuz you got to figure, you know, the mom's chicken, sitting on the eggs, going, finally, I. I've always wanted. Hey, what are you doing?

[C]

Where you go with my babies?

[B]

What is it, a fried pan? You sick bastard.

[F]

You know, the poor chicken, I feel so. I feel sorry for him. But you know, we have to eat, you know.

[A]

Yeah, I guess we do.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

But I prefer mobile food myself. I mean, I prefer food that's had to make it in the world just like I have. I mean, if I want to eat food, I prefer food that doesn't come from the ground, you know, because vegetables, you know, they suck the nutrients from the mud.

[C]

Would you eat mud?

[B]

No.

[A]

No.

[F]

Then why eat the middleman? You know, God made animals slow enough to catch. He obviously intended for us to eat them. Besides that, what's the fun in hunting a vegetable anymore? I can sneak up on a carrot. Some of that stuff's not even food. Celery.

[E]

That's not food.

[F]

That's like dental floss trapped inside of carbohydrates. I was reading about celery. There's four calories in a stick of celery. Takes your body six calories to process a stuck of celery. You could kill yourself eating celery. That's not food. That's slow suic.

[A]

Thank you very much, Jimmy, Jimmy shoe the chicken and the eating the chicken. And we'd be remiss if we didn't feature this. This great song about. About chickens. A chicken farmer went out one dark and windy day. By the coop he rested as he went along his way. And all at once a rotten egg hit him in the eye. It was a sight he dreaded. Ghost chickens in the sky.

[C]

The farmer had raised chickens since he

[A]

was 24, working for the colonel for 30 years or more. Killing all those chickens and sending them to fry. Now they want revenge. Ghost chickens in the sky, everybody. And shiny. Their eyes were burning red. They had no meat or feathers. These chickens were dead. They picked a farmer up and he died by the claw. They cooked them extra crispy and ate them with coleslaw. Everybody, Sean Morris and the classic ghost chickens in the sky. When we come back, more of your letters. You can reach us, Bob and [e-mail] we are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Thank you, Joe, who helped me out at O'Reilly's on Sunday. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[I]

Who's your history, baby? Indiana goes undefeated and wins the national championship. Own the limited edition championship football call 800-345-2868. Now that's 800-34528. 868. When they're gone, they're gone. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[C]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom Show. You found us. Why not hang out with us for a while? We sure appreciate it. We're live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee at the news desk.

[D]

Hi.

[C]

Pat Godwin's there.

[E]

Hello.

[C]

Jeff Oskay sitting at the sports desk.

[E]

Hey, man.

[C]

Ace Cosby running things. Howdy.

[E]

Hi, Ace.

[C]

I'm Josh Arnold at the sidekick chair. And there's Captain, our captain, Tom Crispin.

[A]

Thank you. I have an unusual request here.

[C]

Oh, what bit of mine would they like to hear?

[A]

It's. This comes to us, by the way, from Springfield, Missouri. Oregon.

[C]

Oregon. Okay.

[A]

Many Springfields, as we know. I had some downtime at work. I decided to clean my desk of debris and other dirt and dust. I work at a wood shop. Sounds great.

[C]

Smells good. Smells good there. I guarantee it.

[A]

I got my entire desk clean and wiped down, including my keyboard and monitor. Then I proceeded to spit my soda pop all over it, including my clean desk and computer. Why, Jeff Oskay.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm gonna ask you to repeat this, Jeff, without doing, attempting to do the joke. This involves llamas. If you could set this up for everybody. I wasn't here when you did this, but I have since heard what happened. What's the status of this again now?

[E]

So this is one of the first jokes I ever wrote. I'm not proud of it, but it's something I did. I was doing some reading about bin Laden, trying to figure out why he's such a jerk. Bin Laden has nine wives. With those nine wives, he had 49 children for each son his wife bore him, he would buy her 5 llama as a gift for each daughter's wife bore him, he would buy her one llama. I was like, well, that explains her right there. That guy has to deal with a whole hella lot of Osama baby mama llama drama.

[C]

Very good. Very nice. It's fun. Yeah. Yes. And it would work. Get a laugh.

[A]

Not a lot of fun bin Laden stuff.

[D]

No, no.

[C]

Yeah, you're right.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

That's what we do here.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Is that what we do?

[A]

Fun with unfortunate topics? Take last hour. My lawnmower stereotype joke. I thought it was amusing. No one else did. Okay, we'll just move forward from that. Christy Lee is at the news desk, but Mr. Oskar is sitting in for Chick Magee over there.

[E]

Oh, man, we got some Olympic numbers back. This was the most watched winter game since 2014 with a 90% increase over Beijing.

[D]

Whoa.

[E]

Average 23.5 million viewers in the US making it the most watched winter game. Six 2014 viewership numbers for the US two to one hockey over time are still out and not expected until later.

[C]

Okay. Yeah, because that's. People are going to be interested.

[D]

I bet everyone was watching that. It was Sunday. No. What else was there to watch?

[C]

Yeah, but on the west coast, you had to get up so early to watch it. I don't know. No, but you're right. I mean, a big event.

[D]

We were in the car watching it on our phone. I don't know if that would be picked up by whatever you.

[A]

In the Eastern time zone. You were on vacation, right? Yeah. Time zones always are critical, and that may be one of the reasons, because the last one was where? China.

[D]

Yeah, Beijing.

[A]

You know?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

God knows. I don't know what time it is there. I know what year it is. 58, 19.

[D]

Well, you fit right in 1958.

[A]

Yeah. It's fun.

[E]

Speaking of the Olympic skier, Lindsey Vaughn says surgery saved her from having her left leg amputated.

[C]

Amazing.

[E]

Following her crash at the Olympics, Ms. Vaughn said her injuries went far beyond a complex tibia fracture she initially revealed after clipping a gate and sailing off course just 13 seconds into her run.

[C]

While going, what, what, 80 miles per hour or 60? What was it?

[E]

Yeah. The 41 year old credited Dr. Tom Hackett, an orthopedic surgeon who works with Ms. Vaughn and team. Dr. Hackett.

[C]

Tom.

[A]

Yeah, apparently he's a genius.

[E]

He conducted a fasciotomy to salvage her leg. She's now confined to a wheelchair. Estimates that it will take about a year for her bones and her left Leg to heal. Then she'll be able to have the ACL surgery.

[C]

Wow.

[D]

She has more pins and more rods in her leg. If you've seen.

[A]

There's a photograph.

[D]

If you have seen the.

[A]

Yeah. My. My friend Ed, who is a. X rays.

[D]

It's a.

[A]

My friend actually grew up in Italy and he's a great skier and he's also an orthopedic surgeon. He said he'd never seen whatever you call that apparatus holding her leg together. He'd never seen one. He said, I built a hundred of those. I've never seen one that big. Big. And that'll aberrant.

[D]

Well, she doesn't have that anymore because she's had six surgeries. But. Yeah, that's kind of good news.

[A]

Bad news.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Because they were going to take her leg off and she'd been cast to play Heather Mills in the Paul McCartney.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, which is, you know, good casting. But now what is, you know, who's gonna get that role now?

[A]

Apologize for the very odd things.

[D]

Yeah. Very odd.

[A]

Cpap that again. What you're doing here is you're taking something horrific and making it amusing. No, no. You're attempting to let me.

[C]

Are Paul and Heather still together?

[A]

No, no, no. He's got a wonderful wife.

[C]

So it was Linda and then Heather and now.

[A]

Yes, It's.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

Karen.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

Gotcha.

[D]

Nancy. Her name is Nancy.

[C]

Who was the hottest of the three, I think.

[B]

Well, Nancy's very attractive.

[D]

Nancy's a beautiful. Heather was very smart, very rich.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

She runs a. She ran a freight company or something, didn't she?

[B]

Or what?

[D]

Yeah, I'm not kidding. Her family. East coast family that.

[C]

Well, Paul's coming in tomorrow. We can just ask him.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you suppose I was probably. I shouldn't say this.

[B]

Come on.

[D]

Yeah, you probably shouldn't.

[B]

You already started.

[E]

Nope.

[A]

Lindsey Vaughn. I mean, she. Couldn't she fly back over there and compete in the Paralympics?

[C]

Not yet.

[E]

Yeah, well, she says she has no regrets. And she says her ACL played no role in the crash.

[C]

Right. Which is fine.

[A]

I mean, I was told that's correct.

[C]

What? Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

If you were like, a basketball player, apparently, that sideways motion would be much more difficult and dangerous.

[D]

Look at that.

[C]

What are you looking. It's crazy.

[D]

I mean, she has more rods and pins in her leg than bone. It's.

[B]

She has more rods in her than.

[D]

Look at that.

[B]

Madonna on a Saturday.

[A]

Tiger woods at a Denny's.

[E]

The Los Angeles Lakers have honored Coach Pat Riley with a statue Outside their downtown arena, the eight foot likeness of the hall of Fame coach is wearing one of his famed Giorgio Armani suits and will stand between statues of Kareem Abdul Jabbar and Josh's favorite player, Magic Johnson.

[A]

Did you apparently. Have you seen the statue?

[D]

No, I have not.

[A]

Apparently it's somewhat controversial.

[D]

Why?

[C]

Because it's 8ft tall and Pat was not.

[D]

I was going to say that. It says lifelike. I'm like, was. He wasn't 8ft.

[A]

There's some controversy about. Does it really look like him?

[D]

Oh, all sculptures go through this, don't they?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, from afar. I'm looking at it from afar. I would go, that's Pat Riley.

[E]

Yeah. They got the hair slipped.

[D]

Totally looks like him.

[C]

Did he eventually start getting his suits for free? That did. The Armani people go, just send him some.

[B]

I think older Pat Riley doesn't look like Pat Riley.

[E]

Yeah. No, I. Wait, that's him.

[A]

Yeah, that's Kenny Rogers. I mean, looks like the beard.

[C]

I think it's a cool statue.

[D]

I do, too.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Is he making a fist?

[B]

Yeah, he is, yeah.

[A]

Oh, he's standing, though.

[C]

He's doing. It's. You know what it look. You know what it looks like? He kind of looks like he's going to Olay at the end of the day. He's got one hand on his hip

[D]

and like a flamingo dance.

[E]

Yes. Okay.

[A]

Coming up in the news, Christy Lee, what have you got over there?

[D]

Coming up, we have a story that we may or may not do because it's so awful.

[C]

I insist on hearing.

[A]

Yeah, I'll do it. Because I've. I've been thinking about ways I can get around not saying there's. There are ways to kind of say what's happening without being too. Being too.

[B]

I can't wait for this. There's no way you're gonna dance around.

[A]

I can use words.

[D]

You are worse than any of them.

[B]

You're gonna.

[A]

I am an expert on this.

[B]

Wait.

[A]

I was told by the president of the network that. That I. He told the New York Times. Ask Tom. He knows how to do this sort of thing. I'm serious. This one's pretty delicate.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And it's really gross.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But I think it's important to get out.

[G]

Why?

[A]

People need to know what's going on out there.

[C]

Yes. Yes.

[A]

This is the kind of thing that explains what's happening in our world, kind of.

[D]

On a related note, is roadkill legal to eat?

[A]

Yes. We have that, you know, that varies state to state. And there's a couple of really dangerous things about eating certain types of dead animals.

[C]

You know, we may be in an area where it's legal. It doesn't affect me whatsoever.

[B]

I'm fine with the business.

[D]

I have a Kroger by my house,

[B]

Fresh Market right down the street.

[A]

The good news is that Ms. Hooker's not here for me to go. Hey, on the way in here today, I saw a possum. Right now I want to tell you about Simplisafe. Our Simplisafe story is pretty interesting. Before Simplisafe was an advertiser, Chick Magee walked in here one morning. He goes, you're not going to believe this. I installed my own security system over the weekend. Took me half an hour. Chick Magee has since become sort of an Expert. He's got 11 cameras in his particular setup. That's a lot. We have Simplisafe. In fact, right here. Here at the Bob and Tom studios. Simplisafe is terrific. It's easy to install. If you don't want to install it yourself, they're happy to hook you up with someone to install it for you. Among other things, Simplisafe features something they call active. Active guard, outdoor protection. This is an option you can get. And the idea here is you've got AI powered cameras backed up by live professional monitoring agents that can check things out. And if someone is lurking or acting suspicious on your property, the agents can actually talk to them and say, get out or the police are on the way. We see you. They can of course call the cops. So SimpliSafe has this feature. And also I should point out, no long term contracts, no cancellation fees. The monitoring plans start affordably at about a buck a day. And SimpleLife features a 60 day satisfaction guarantee. Your money back. This is kind of interesting. Don't believe me? Believe. For example, U.S. news and World Report, five years in a row named best home security system, name number one in customer service by USA Today and Newsweek. So check it out. Why wait? Protect your home today and Enjoy a staggering 50% off. A new SimpliSafe system with professional monitoring. That's SimpliSafeTom.com to get that 50% off. Once again, SimpliSafeTom.com and remember, there's no safe like Simplisafe. You'll breathe easier knowing that your stuff is being protected even when you're not around. Coming up, we also have an interesting one of those surveys. Once again, Gen Z, which if you're in Gen Z or what, like between

[D]

my kids age 23, 14 to 30.

[A]

Ish.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Gen Z, according to the headline, prefers sleep to sex.

[C]

Oh, all right.

[B]

That's gen lazy.

[C]

You know, boomers might also. That might be the one thing they have.

[A]

Yeah, we'll find out what that's all about. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[D]

You gonna tell us?

[C]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show. Live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee's at the news desk.

[D]

Hi, Josh Arnold.

[C]

Ah, yes. There's Pat Godwin.

[B]

Joseph Patrick Godwin.

[C]

There's Joseph Patrick Godwin. Godwin.

[D]

Joshua Matthew.

[C]

There's Jeffrey Aloysius Osu.

[E]

That's right.

[C]

There's Ace Cosby.

[D]

It's Preston. Ace Cosby.

[B]

Is it Preston?

[C]

Are you trying to use out at him? Are you trying to see the look on your face.

[B]

He's not happy.

[C]

Rarely does Ace get mad, especially on a day when Chick's not here. And I'm Josh Arnold.

[D]

There's Time Gr, one of his best friends.

[A]

There is a documentary coming out about the great Billy Preston.

[D]

Yeah, I heard about that yesterday.

[A]

I'm very can't wait to see it. Billy Preston, sometimes called the fifth Beatle, brilliant musician, played with the Stones and had a bunch of great hits. Nothing from nothing. At least nothing.

[D]

Are you gonna go see Epic, the new Elvis Presley documentary?

[A]

I am.

[D]

I am too. I'm excited.

[C]

I'm hoping it lasts because it's in like two theaters regionally and.

[A]

Yeah, and the whole point is to see it in the theater.

[C]

Exactly.

[D]

And in imax. I think that's why they're trying to push it.

[B]

Will it be on laserdisc?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Because I wonder, will it go around in circles?

[C]

Oh, man.

[A]

Oh, no. You're talking about the Billy Preston one. So your joke, your joke was 30 seconds too late. They were talking about the elements.

[B]

I was over here.

[D]

Why did you do that?

[B]

I was over here. Construction, Constructing my joke and I wasn't paying attention.

[A]

That's what I do all morning long, not pay attention. There's also another highly well reviewed, I should say documentary coming out about Greg Allman. So some good stuff. But the Billy. Billy Preston.

[D]

That'll go straight.

[A]

I saw Billy Preston.

[C]

Oh, you did?

[A]

I saw Billy Preston in concert. He was great keyboard. And I.

[C]

Wasn't he the first SNL musical guest?

[D]

I think you might be right.

[A]

And he wore. I, I kid you not. He had. And I found out. I didn't know at the time. I did not know that it was a wig he had a fro that was. I mean, it was a halo. It was just huge. And he was. He was so great.

[C]

He's one of those musicians. I knew that Nothing from Nothing song. And it wasn't until I was a. Not that long ago. I mean, I was in my 30s when I found out he was black.

[D]

Oh, really?

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. I always assumed that was like one of those. Because there were so many white guys that sounded like black dudes kind of in music then that I just thought he was one of those.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And man, was I angry. Can you imagine

[A]

like chick's mom when

[D]

she said Charlie Pry.

[A]

Charlie Pry.

[C]

There is some ugliness out there.

[A]

Yeah, he. He played. I saw him also, I. Rango star.

[D]

Didn't he play with his band?

[A]

He played with the Stones.

[C]

God, that's gonna be a good documentary.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Lee's all over Let It Be, you know.

[A]

Yeah. And the movie Let It Be, obviously. That's great. So I. I've lost my place. Where. What were we talking? Okay. Do you want me to try to do this story that I say it's almost impossible to do?

[C]

Yes, I. I'm quite eager to hear how. Because you guys are really saying this.

[D]

Should I give it to you right along with them to see what?

[C]

No, I want to be surprised.

[B]

Buckle up.

[A]

Okay. I'm not going to read this guy's name because.

[C]

Well, does he deserve to be shamed?

[A]

No one. I mean, this is just awful. This guy may have relatives and.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Why this is just kind of hard to get to. This guy is. Well, this. This occurred to the Commonwealth of Kentucky.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I'll. I'll leave it at that. I'm not going to say exactly where. A Kentucky man is in custody for allegedly having deeply personal relations with a deceased deer

[D]

on the side of the road, witnessed by people.

[A]

According to the criminal citation, a motorist reported witnessing, quote, a man. And then I'll let you fill in that blank with a dead deer.

[C]

Now, before I know if this is gross or not, was it a boy or a girl deer?

[A]

It's interesting you'd ask that because as you know, for the most part, in the world of deer, only the males have antlers. There are some exceptions, but responding officers found the 32 year old suspect. We'll call him Mr. XYZ. Well, then this gets a little too detailed. It involves the location of his trousers.

[C]

Now, was it Ivy League style?

[A]

Yes. That's all you need to know. Thank you. That's it.

[C]

Which means his trousers were just around his Ankles.

[A]

Yes. And then it gets really gross. There's things about deer hair.

[B]

It's already gross.

[D]

It is real gross.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, you can get Lyme disease this week.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. It in. This goes into way too much detail. I'm not going to give you any more of it, Bambi.

[B]

Thank you, Bambi.

[C]

I. I enjoyed that very much.

[A]

Yeah. Thank you, Pat. I was just going to say. For God's sake, mister, get a room.

[E]

You're supposed to mount them on the

[A]

wall, not on the side of the road. Yeah, you're. There's one thing. There's. You can get horny. You're not supposed to get antlery.

[C]

This is. This is terrible.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

If you want.

[A]

You go to a taxidermist if you want to stuff a deer, you know?

[C]

Right. Do we know. Stone cold sober.

[A]

They don't.

[D]

That doesn't say that again from his

[E]

mug shot, I'm gonna say he hasn't been sober since he was, like, 11.

[A]

I guess when the cops came up to me, went, doe. And they said, no, but these are all good jokes.

[C]

Oh, no.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't like it when someone mixes necrophilia with beasties. Reality. I just want to say that is just. That's not right. Yeah.

[C]

Come on.

[D]

How do you stumble on that?

[A]

The guy was right at the side of the road.

[D]

I know, but did he walk down the street and go, oh, there's a dead deer.

[C]

I know. Was he driving and he slammed on.

[A]

I wonder if he hit it.

[D]

Did he kill us?

[B]

The guy wanted some. White tail is what he wanted.

[C]

Yeah, apparently. Boy, oh, boy.

[A]

I'm guessing, if I had to speculate, do you think this is a. Do you think this might be a meth thing?

[E]

Oh, it looks like this guy does all of the drugs.

[D]

I hope he's not sober. I honestly hope he's not.

[A]

Well, and then again, it was. It was a male deer. So now his friends are gonna mock him.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I. This pork. This guy's obviously needs some very serious psycho.

[C]

That.

[A]

Psychotherapy. I don't know what.

[D]

Real.

[C]

That's real. Real.

[A]

The reason I want to read that is. Aren't you glad when you woke up this morning, you said to yourself, you know, I think I'm gonna go have a nice sandwich for lunch.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Maybe drive my nice car, go to work, see my friends, look at some silly stuff on Instagram. I'm not gonna go out looking for carcasses that I can have a love relation type things with this month.

[B]

Go to work and see your friends. Do you have a second job?

[A]

These are all fair questions, Pat. We're still talking about the Elvis movie. Now, that led me to also hand Christy a story.

[D]

Several states will let anybody take home and consume dead animals they find on the side of the road. Overall, though, laws vary state by state. And while most small animals can be picked up and taken home to eat, larger animals might require a permit.

[E]

For example, I thought you were gonna say a chainsaw

[D]

to take a bear found on the road in Tennessee.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

You must first get permission and a kill tag from a wildlife resource officer.

[E]

Again, I thought you were going to say RFK Jr.

[A]

I had a state cop when I lived up in Harbor Springs. One of the. I knew a couple guys that were cops, and this one, state cops said he pulled a guy over that had had a calf lashed to the back of his car, and the guy said, I thought it was a deer. Officer. You know, people, people. Little veal, as opposed to venison. Sorry.

[D]

In 2021, Wyoming made it legal for people to take roadkill home to eat, including mule deer, elk, and pronghorn antelope.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Animals that are legally allowed for consumption, however, may pose health risks, according to the Emerging Pathogens Institute.

[A]

There's a fun place. Hey, I got into college. Where are you going? Oh, I'm going to the Emerging Pathogens Institute. Daria.

[C]

Now majoring in pinworms.

[D]

Apparently, armadillos carry a high risk among game animals, as that species is known to be the only non human species to carry Mycobacterium laprae, the bacteria that causes leprosy.

[C]

Yeah, but they're fun to eat. Those are the fortune cookies of road deal.

[A]

Those things creep me out.

[D]

Get through this.

[A]

Armadillos. And they're. They're going farther north and east, right? Yikes. Yeah, they are weird. What about. Okay, there are certain states that's legal to eat them. Is it always legal if you wanted to, to make them, like, into hats?

[C]

Oh, yeah. I don't know if you need a kill tag or a license.

[A]

Can you. Like, if you come across a deer, can you say, I'm just going to make it a jacket?

[C]

I bet that's also state to state. Yeah, probably.

[E]

I just got a roadkill cookbook. It's called Grill to Grill.

[C]

Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[F]

Pretty good.

[E]

Yeah, that's pretty good.

[D]

Written by Ted Nugent.

[C]

Yeah, you wouldn't like it.

[E]

Lots of marinating

[A]

you could do. What is the band? Is it Motley Crue? Girls. Girls. Girls.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Grills, Grills, Grills. Nice I'm stalling here because Pat looks like he's contemplating something. Have you. Have you prepared something for us? Yeah.

[B]

It's called Roadkill in California.

[D]

Oh.

[B]

On a jammed LA freeway Dead squirrels everywhere. Warm smell of exhaust pipes rising up through the air up ahead by the exit frozen in the headlights. Could be a deer, could be a bear or someone's dinner. Tonight we're eating roadkill in California

[C]

Daddy

[B]

brings home the meat that he scraped off the street Grilling up roadkill in California any time of day. Armadillo filet. Oh, eating roadkill in California. It's a lovely day for salmonella and then you just end it right there. Because I was halfway through writing it and I. I stopped.

[C]

All right. I like this behind the music.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, people ask me why I wanted to. To end with such a strong message because I just stopped.

[A]

Do you think the average person who wants to eat roadkill is concerned about the legality roadkill?

[C]

No, probably not.

[D]

No. Really hungry.

[A]

I don't know.

[E]

This.

[C]

This guy who made love to the dead deer is. This is really awesome.

[D]

I don't think making.

[C]

I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.

[A]

I'm guessing he didn't take him. I'm guessing a non consensual just based on the fact that, you know, it's a deer and everything.

[B]

I think maybe lust.

[C]

I want you guys to in your minds go down the list of words I could have used why I may have chosen. He didn't show up.

[B]

He didn't show up with flowers and chocolates.

[D]

Right. Didn't take her.

[A]

I would say. I would say I'm having the most intimate kind of relations one can.

[C]

I mean, that's. That also sounds very sweet.

[A]

Sorry. Yeah, it's just.

[C]

There's no way to put it.

[A]

Yeah, it's just. Just off again. Just be glad you don't have that particular. That peculiar. That peculiar proclivity. Yeah, yeah. You don't want to be that guy.

[C]

I mean, you don't have a hand, sir. You're telling me your hand isn't better than a dead deer? Are you kidding me?

[B]

Do you think he was a twisted furry, so to speak?

[C]

Like I. You know, you got to wonder if there was what I. I think had to be so historically something is that. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I'd like to see what kind of DV this guy had back in the day. Imagine he was very disappointed when he got the movie the Deer Hunter.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

But he's super turned on by Old Yeller.

[C]

Man, oh man.

[E]

Yeah. Just the end.

[C]

He was kicked out. He went to Disney World. He was kicked out of the country Bears. They didn't say why, but we can imagine.

[B]

I thought they were hairy dudes.

[A]

By the way, are the country bears gone?

[D]

They were redoing that, weren't they?

[C]

I think they're trying to make them better.

[D]

Oh, are they?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like better animatronics or whatever.

[A]

Okay, okay. Yeah.

[C]

Who doesn't love a jug band? Who's a. Who are bears?

[D]

I know, right?

[A]

I hope they don't care. I was just there, but I forgot

[C]

to look for them.

[A]

And of course, I could never get my kids to go to the hall of Presidents. My favorite thing at Disney World.

[D]

There's got to be something. You rode something, right?

[A]

Oh, we did. I had a great time. We were there for two days. But I, I, I always go to the hall of Presidents.

[B]

Technology has gotten, has that gotten better?

[C]

Yeah, those animatronics have gotten a little better.

[A]

But I mean, the rides now are unbelievable. The one, the one that's the Avatar

[D]

thing, my favorite one.

[A]

That is great. Just, that's nuts.

[D]

That thing feels like it's breathing underneath you. It's like, oh, my God.

[A]

Okay, what's coming up in the news? Christy Lee?

[D]

Coming up, we're going to have a lot more love in the air because we're not going to talk about guys having sexual tear. We have something about couples, a lot of love stories. Gen Z rules to romance. We have how long Americans think couples should be together before having sex, getting married.

[A]

Did we do the male birth control thing?

[D]

We didn't do the male birth control. We have modern dating in the news.

[E]

I also have a Mr. Rush update. David Rush.

[C]

Oh, no kidding.

[A]

Oh, cool.

[E]

World record.

[A]

Yeah, I'm hoping. Okay, good. We'll get to that when we return to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[I]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning, even though we're not too much to look look at. You can also watch the show on our YouTube channel.

[C]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee's at the news desk. She promises no more news like the news we recently had about it.

[D]

And if you missed it, a gentleman

[C]

looking for love in all the wrong places.

[A]

I mean, it's wrong. Like on five. I think I said on four levels.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

At least.

[A]

Okay. We don't need to review it.

[C]

There's Pat Godwin. Hello, Jeff. Oscar's over there.

[E]

Hello, America.

[C]

Jeff and I are going to a boat show in a couple days. Tom, please give us your credit card. There's. I'm Josh Arnold, and there's Tom.

[A]

This is a bunch of fishing stuff. Of course it's a boat show.

[C]

Yeah, they do have a bunch of fish.

[A]

You've been talking about your dream boat. You. You want to get a. A fishing boat, though, right?

[C]

At some point, yeah. You know what? I need to strengthen my core, because if I'm gonna be standing with one foot on a trolling motor, though, for hours, I need. I need a stronger back and center.

[D]

You can't sit and do that. You can't sit.

[C]

You can, but I prefer to stand.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Coming up, we have not a trolling motor, but an outboard motor in the news.

[C]

Really?

[A]

In a bizarre way, a man didn't

[C]

make love to that, did he?

[D]

No, no, no.

[C]

You got to be really desperate to be Evan Rude.

[D]

Oh, we're talking about the naked guy.

[A]

Yeah. No, no, no. We're talking about the. The sauna thing.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Okay. I want to do a little quiz here, kind of clear the air of that awful story we just did.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

I don't know if I'm pronouncing this right, but I want. I would. By the way, I would not have known the answer to this. I'll tell you in advance because we have coming up some new words that have been added to the dictionary. Cambridge dictionary, that always make me irritated, but these are legit words. Do you know what a musillette is?

[C]

Semi familiar? No.

[A]

The person who is most likely to know this in the room would be Christy Lee.

[D]

A musselet. Spell it.

[A]

M U, S E L E, T.

[B]

Is it a part of a house?

[A]

No, no, it's the thing on a bottle of champagne. That metal thing?

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Oh, the wire cage that goes around.

[A]

It's great.

[C]

That's a great word.

[D]

That is a great word. I did not know the name of that.

[A]

Yeah, I would never have gotten that.

[C]

You can really annoy people at parties, but. Well, let me just handle the musette here.

[A]

If someone says that, you just want to punch him in the face.

[C]

I love doing stuff like that because it does. It really does anger people.

[A]

Now, Pat Godwin, this is an easy one. Oh, boy.

[B]

Now I'm nervous.

[A]

Do you know what an aglet is?

[C]

Sure.

[B]

It's that thing on the. The end of the shoelace.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Very good, Very good.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Don't you have an aglet maker?

[A]

Yes, I, I. Yes, I. I do. I. I ordered that. I Haven't used it yet, but I got a little. You'll never use aglet making kit.

[D]

There's no way you'll.

[A]

Because I want to. The. The cords in my jacket are framed.

[C]

I would have got that wrong. I didn't know that's what that was. Because the only time I would ever hear that word is when I was walking home from school and guys in their cars would drive by.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

I never knew why they were calling me that.

[A]

Okay, this is an Easy one. Mr. Oskar, you know what a tine is? T I, N E. Can I get

[E]

the country of origin?

[A]

It's an English word.

[E]

A tine.

[C]

Like, they often come in fours.

[D]

Yes.

[E]

Right. Like the thing on your fork.

[H]

Yes.

[A]

Very good, very good. I would have.

[E]

Christy, you just applauded. Like I'm slow.

[A]

Good job, buddy.

[B]

Look who's learning now.

[D]

Jeff does wordle every day. He's very smart.

[A]

Wow. Eulage. You know what that means?

[D]

Eulage?

[E]

No.

[D]

Something to do with death.

[A]

I've never heard this. This is a good word to know. It's the amount that a container lacks of being full.

[C]

Oh, interesting. So there's. When you open a bag of chips, there's a fair amount of ulage between

[A]

the chips, and now there's a lot more ulage than there used to be.

[C]

Yes. Shrinkflation.

[A]

Yes.

[E]

I just learned this the other day. Did you know it's not they in your chip bag? It's nitrogen in there, not oxygen.

[C]

Really?

[E]

Yeah. I had no idea. Apparently, if there's oxygen in there, your chips will go stale.

[D]

Oh, that makes sense.

[E]

So they put nitrogen in the chip box. I never. I never knew.

[C]

I just assumed it was air in the factory. Yeah, that sounds delicious.

[A]

What happened to the nitrogen car thing?

[D]

What do you mean?

[A]

Tires. Remember that? Two years ago?

[E]

Oh, they still overcharge people for that.

[A]

That was. That was a real big deal.

[D]

They put nitrogen in your tires instead

[A]

of air, and they wouldn't.

[E]

It's supposed to hold up better in the cold.

[A]

Yeah, the air pressure.

[D]

Oh, it doesn't compound.

[A]

Is that still a thing I have?

[D]

Probably that I just go put air in my tires.

[A]

Sounds like the kind of thing I should be doing because it's complicated, difficult.

[C]

That might be the undercoating of tires. Although I. Some of that undercoating actually does look pretty good.

[A]

Okay, this is the one I just learned. Dongle. You know what that is, Pat?

[B]

I do know a dongle. I pass.

[C]

I believe this is the. Isn't this part of a bell?

[A]

The dongle. Is a device that plugs into a computer on bells.

[C]

Dell. I meant Dell.

[A]

Any pocket sized device that connects to a computer, like an SD card or a bluetooth connector, is referred to as a dongle.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Doesn't that sound like.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Like dong. Yes.

[A]

No, but I mean like your uncle's penis.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Well, it's not what my uncle called his.

[B]

Bringing back some bad memories.

[C]

My uncle called his. Tell your parents and you'll be in trouble.

[A]

I didn't think this could go wrong. I was. I was wrong.

[B]

Uncle Bad touch.

[A]

I just got this one in a crossword puzzle, so I'm glad I knew it. Ace. Do you know what a pip is? Don't say Gladys Knight.

[C]

I'm gonna say hair. Cousins.

[A]

Those are the dots on playing cards are on. Like a. On dice. Those are called the pips.

[D]

Oh, really?

[E]

Oh, speaking of dice.

[D]

Yes.

[E]

Can I do this?

[A]

Yeah, that's how we're getting to this.

[C]

Oh, you're hickory dickory.

[E]

This chick was. David Rush has broken the Guinness world record for the fastest time to stack 20 dice into two towers with a team of.

[D]

Of four.

[A]

Do we have a video of this, Christopher? Okay, here we go.

[D]

Here we go. Okay, so too many cooks. Okay, 20 dice.

[C]

Mr.

[E]

Rush, along with his brother, sister in law, and a family friend, broke the previous record.

[A]

Wait a minute. It was a technical issue.

[C]

Jeff. You wouldn't have seen this because you were reading from the paper.

[B]

It's not your fault, Jeff. But something happened.

[A]

Christopher is watching porno.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Christ watches softcore porn.

[C]

He accidentally. The video switched to something. What is he doing?

[A]

Whoever that was, she was really. Wow. I'm sorry. So it's four people and they're 20.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, there we go.

[D]

And you can see stacking.

[A]

So there we go.

[C]

Not easy to do.

[D]

Apparently not.

[C]

But I think it's harder with all those people.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You got to get each. Everybody's got to be in the right place at the right time.

[C]

I hate it.

[E]

So it was his brother, sister in law and a family friend broke the previous record of 11.39 seconds for a final time of 10.16 seconds. This attempt took place on Mr. Rush's birthday.

[A]

Happy birthday, David. I'm a big fan.

[C]

That's how he chose to spend. Yeah.

[A]

Isn't it nice that there are people nerdier than people that play Dungeons and Dragons? They make dungeons and Dragons people look really cool.

[C]

And I say that one looks frustrating.

[A]

One of my sons plays it all the time.

[C]

Oh, yeah?

[A]

Yeah. So that's cool. Congratulations to David Rush. As you know, I'm a huge fan. He was kind enough to call us.

[D]

Yes, he was.

[A]

Or so ago. And David, I think he has the record for the most records held now concurrently in this. In this moment. Yeah. At present, if you will.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. I think. Well, no, it's complicated.

[D]

He has a lot.

[A]

Okay, now we.

[D]

He just has a lot.

[A]

We transfer the microphone back over to Christy Lee. What's going on over there?

[D]

Well, you're talking about words. The Cambridge dictionary has added a few new phrases.

[C]

All right. Right.

[D]

Okay. Norwegian Life Cleaning.

[A]

Hate.

[E]

Oh, boy.

[C]

What could this be?

[B]

I know what that is.

[E]

Right?

[D]

I don't know. Do you?

[B]

I think.

[C]

What. What is your. Your guess, Pat?

[B]

My guess is at the end of someone's life, maybe they get rid of stuff so it's easier on their kids.

[D]

Yep, that's exactly right.

[C]

Why is it Norwegian, do you think?

[D]

I don't know. Maybe.

[B]

I think they started the whole trend.

[G]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, I thought. What happened to that?

[A]

Maria Quando, whatever her name was.

[D]

Maria Quando. That's just organizing your life. That doesn't have to do with being near your end of your life so your family doesn't have to deal with yourself.

[A]

Isn't her whole thing throw away if

[D]

it doesn't bring you joy? Does this bring you joy? It doesn't bring you joy.

[B]

Throw it away down to two guitars.

[A]

What brings me joy is not having to follow Marie Quando.

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

She didn't bring me joy, so I turned it off.

[A]

Norwegian life Cleaning.

[D]

Just the practice of gradually reducing your possessions as you get older to make your life more comfortable and make things easier for your family after you got on.

[C]

Okay, okay.

[A]

So they're. They're rebranding minimalism.

[D]

Okay. This is something that I do. This next one. House burping. Do you know what that is?

[C]

Yeah, it's a queef. Oh, it isn't.

[D]

I do that occasionally, too, but that has nothing to do.

[A]

Well, you just made some guy to pull.

[E]

I know what's on the highlight show tonight. Check out our YouTube channel, House Burp.

[D]

Yes. I think you may do this and don't even know it's just airing out your house.

[A]

Why do they call it burping?

[D]

But even in cold weather, to let fresh air in. Just to give it a. I. I do this.

[C]

If it's.

[E]

Let's say.

[D]

I don't know.

[C]

Let's say it gets below 10 degrees.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I will do this once a day where I go to my. The door, going to my deck, and I open it up and just stand there and get a blast of cold air and then I close it. Clothed sometimes?

[B]

No, dude, it's good for you.

[C]

And I always have to hope that Alman in Iran lives.

[A]

Wouldn't that be great? He's being cuffed. Get him a blanket.

[B]

That'll put someone in labor.

[C]

Yeah, I like that feeling.

[D]

I, I like to air out. Air out the house a lot. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I did it the other day last week listings when it was like 68.

[C]

But I will never call it house burping.

[D]

No.

[A]

Do you go up to your H VAC unit and pat it and go there, there you're doing your. Yeah, hold your shoulder up against the house. Burping. In other words, airing out your house with some fresh air. Right.

[E]

Silly.

[D]

Burping out the old.

[A]

Okay, but these are now in the dictionary.

[D]

Cambridge dictionary.

[A]

Okay. Okay, good. Certainly good to know. Coming up, a little bit of history for you. We have an interesting story about a kind of, of a freaky little kitty cat that has something unusual about it. Does he need a home now they're lined up to adopt this little guy. We have a surfing in the news. It has a happy ending. There's no sharks involved this time. And a bizarre story that will involve an outboard motor and an ice floe.

[D]

Yep.

[E]

Huh.

[A]

Sounds like a cartoon.

[E]

That sounds fun.

[A]

Yeah. We, we are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[I]

Want to share a letter or comment? Is Bob and [e-mail]

[C]

Benjamin it is. There's. Well, before I get into individuals, I'll tell you who we are. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Tom and I were having a conversation and I forgot that we also have a job to do. Forgive me. Like you guys. Don't mess up at your work. You listeners out there. Anyway, we're live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio videos. I could have used a little help for my co workers. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

[A]

We enjoy watching you on the skewer.

[C]

There's Christy Lee at the news desk.

[D]

Hi, Josh.

[C]

Pat Godwin's there.

[E]

Hello.

[C]

Jess Hooker has joined us.

[G]

Hi.

[C]

Hi, Jess. There's Jeff Oskay.

[E]

Yeah, man.

[C]

Ace Cosby's there. Hey, Josh. I am Josh Arnold. And there's Tom. Tommy. Tommy Griswold.

[A]

I'm over here. Thank you very much. I was just looking at my calendar thing here.

[D]

Yeah, what do you got today?

[A]

I got this, this tearaway calendar thing.

[C]

Oh, a daily.

[A]

Yeah. With today in history. And I was Just looking at it because I've got to get prepared for this.

[D]

How many days are you behind?

[A]

It's very funny. I just threw off several.

[D]

Who knows you better than your co

[A]

workers Tommy, Elton John and Freddie Mercury on this date in 1998.

[C]

I have a guess.

[A]

Don't go any further.

[C]

We got it.

[A]

Ellen John and Freddie Mercury were kned by Queen Elizabeth. So there were we three queens would be the. Never mind. I'll. We'll get to that coming up. But.

[B]

And they both went.

[A]

Ouch. Handy. Handy. Let's see now, where were we? Oh, I know. I wanted to read a couple letters because we have talked about code words when it comes to intimate moments where you. You want to say to someone, are you interested in this particular regular activity

[D]

when I go snuggle or something?

[B]

Activity?

[A]

Dear Bob and Tom show.

[C]

Huh.

[A]

Regarding words and phrases for sexy time and code words. We don't have one. What happens is my wife will text me an extremely graphic gift file of what is going to happen later.

[C]

I wonder if it's of her. If it's a gift that. That's often like a. From a movie or. Yeah, I wonder if it's of her because you can make your own gifts.

[G]

Yeah, you can.

[A]

Really?

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I imagine it's probably from a movie. But then he says he does the same thing.

[C]

So what. What small clip or scene from a movie would you send to your significant other to let them.

[A]

Oh, it's easy.

[D]

I know it's.

[A]

It's the scene where the guy throws the chair through the window in Body Heat.

[C]

Okay, so that part is where you'll go, okay, I. That's. She'll know.

[A]

It's kind of. It's like an invitation.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Have you seen the movie

[B]

Tom's Girlfriend?

[A]

That's a fair question for me.

[C]

I would send a gif of Catwoman straddling Michelle Pfeiffer, Catwoman straddling Michael Keaton, Batman and licking him from his chin to his nose. That would be the. You're about to get rocked.

[D]

Wow, that's pretty good.

[A]

Pat with a speed. Someone at an atm.

[B]

Oh, that makes me hot money flowing out of an atm. I can pay my rent,

[A]

Christy.

[D]

Oh, I. I don't know. Have I thought about it?

[A]

We can make up. We can make up fun ones. How about behind the scenes at the wizard of Oz?

[C]

How about a goose stoop being sucked into the. The giant straw in Willy Wonka?

[D]

He would like that.

[A]

How about that?

[B]

The upside down kiss in Spider Man.

[C]

Oh, that is sexy as hell.

[D]

Sexy.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Ms. Hooker, you care to. Care to weigh in? You don't have to. By the way, I love this virginal white thing you've got going today.

[G]

You guys, it is just a cream colored sweater.

[D]

I know. That is all it is.

[B]

Did you say cream covered?

[D]

Cream colored.

[E]

I'm not speaking to you, by the way.

[G]

I'm not speaking to you.

[C]

You're mad.

[G]

To make you know why I'm mad

[B]

at you, I have no idea.

[G]

Yesterday we were in a group text, and I said.

[B]

And you were there for half the conversation.

[G]

Pat Godwin's left the conversation.

[C]

Oh, that's right. It was a group text. Jess was letting us know that you got us some tickets to a boat show.

[G]

Yes.

[C]

And letting Jeff. Pat and I know. And all of a sudden, Pat. Pat has left the COVID When I

[G]

said, does anybody have Rob Haney's contact information?

[B]

And then someone had it. And you are. You already got it. I left.

[A]

Could we move on?

[C]

Apparently, that's what Pat was.

[A]

I do love the boat show. I'm a huge fan. Yeah.

[G]

Well, you can have Pat's take it.

[A]

Oh, thank you.

[C]

Oh, no, I already. I have somebody who.

[G]

Okay.

[C]

But I do need your credit card to take.

[A]

Okay.

[G]

I'm a movie.

[A]

So in other words, your. Your significant other.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

If he. If it's sexy time, would he. Would you send him a. Or. And you're in the mood. Would you send him something from a mood?

[G]

We. We have a phrase that. So we would not send gifts.

[C]

Okay. And you don't have to share the phrase with us, but.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Is it. Is the word pounding in it?

[G]

No, it's very. It's. I don't mind. It's silly. It's something that started when we were in high school.

[C]

It's.

[G]

Hey, do you want to paint the barn later?

[B]

That's fantastic.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Is there an origin story behind this?

[G]

We used to make out behind an old.

[D]

Old farm barn.

[C]

And, you know. Yeah.

[G]

And so then, like, it.

[A]

Kind of like it was.

[G]

It was like an abandoned barn. So it was like at the end of an old lane.

[C]

Oh, yeah. After you slop the pigs. Yeah.

[B]

What does barn do?

[C]

Pigs isn't a bad coat.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

That's not.

[A]

No. Jeffrey, do you have one?

[E]

No, I. What was yours again? Where they throw.

[A]

Yeah. The scene in the movie Body Heat. William Hurt. They go back to the mansion and the great music from John Barry is playing, and William Hurt picks up a piece of porch furniture and throws it through the glass window where Kathleen Turner is covered in glass Looking super hot. What they don't show the next day is when the handyman came over. And then he also did Kathleen Turner.

[E]

Well, that's what I was gonna say. Apparently have never been with someone who's thrown a chair through your front window because it's not as sexy as you would think.

[C]

No, no.

[A]

I'd have to fix it. I know I didn't it.

[E]

Go get the direction killer for me.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[E]

There was no sex Tom.

[C]

Currently.

[B]

Do you have any kind of subtle code with your lady?

[A]

Not at all.

[B]

Like a wink and nod.

[A]

No, I can't wink and you know that hard.

[G]

You can't wink.

[A]

I have to get really focused.

[D]

Okay, watch this.

[A]

Here we go.

[D]

Here we go. Yeah, he has to move his whole head.

[A]

I the whole I wink and winkings. I find it so disturbing. Burbing.

[G]

Well, okay.

[A]

If someone waits at me.

[C]

No, Christie's good at it.

[G]

Very good.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It's just the key is just to

[C]

kind of do it without very subtle.

[A]

I find it, it's a come hither. Horrifying.

[E]

Have you ever accidentally winked at someone and you're like I want that back like a stranger.

[D]

Like I did it to a waiter the other day and I was like

[C]

if I'm making kind of a subtle joke and I wink or whatever, I, I, I am hoping it comes across is completely there's non threatening. It's just a guy just being like almost because I'm of the age now where if I'm talking to a 25 year old who's checking me, like literally

[B]

checking you checking me out.

[A]

He means catching the check.

[C]

And I, they don't take check Venmo sometimes. And I, I, you know, making kind of a joke. And I wink. I hope they go that is a dad just being, you know, that kind of thing. Not. Oh, that's a creep trying to hit on.

[A]

I perceive winking as being creepy.

[G]

I feel that way about when people stick their tongues out at kids.

[C]

Kids.

[G]

Yeah, like, like a baby. Like, you know, like.

[C]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[A]

Who's the singer that's doing that all the time right now?

[B]

Miley Cyrus.

[C]

Yeah, but she's doing it out of awkward.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I hate this.

[C]

Oh, I, I have a collage in my phone.

[D]

You can send a gift.

[C]

It's just a file. It says mc this one I like.

[A]

And I, I'll try to read this properly this time. Mike in Southern Oregon. The, the I'll just tell you the essence of this is when the guy, he brings his lunch in a, you know Pail to the shop, whatever. Yeah, of course, when he opens it up, if there's a tuna sandwich in there, that means that and whole the night, big fun.

[G]

That's subtle.

[D]

No plans that far in advance.

[C]

Well, I guess that's better than a poorly constructed roast beef.

[A]

Like a loose roast beef sandwich with

[B]

the meat look, the meat outside the

[A]

look, it's, it's, it's steakums.

[C]

Oh, I know what's happening tonight.

[A]

Well, send us your code words.

[D]

Like to hear your love making that far in advance that you would know in the morning. Does she like leave you.

[A]

I'm just reading the letters.

[D]

Does she leave you a note by the counter every morning that says, hey, tonight's your night or talking about Tom directly?

[G]

No, no, I think, do I think doing that on occasion. The anticipation throughout the day is fun.

[B]

That's adorable.

[G]

Yeah. But no, not all the time. Not every single time.

[B]

How about when you're served with papers? Is that a sign?

[D]

Well, you know what that's a sign of? You're not getting it.

[C]

Oh, well, you're getting screwed in one way or another.

[A]

Well, now, did we polish off our sportscast, Is that correct?

[E]

Yes, sir.

[A]

Okay, good. We have Christy Lee over there at the news desk. What's coming up?

[D]

Coming up, we're going to continue this love romance deal. We have breakthrough in male birth control. We have Gen Z's rules to romance. We have one mistake you're making in dating and how long Americans think couples should be together before doing it.

[C]

It you want to do it.

[A]

This is interesting. Is that, do they break that down by age groups?

[D]

We'll find out.

[C]

You do me and then I'll do you.

[B]

Is it 10 minutes?

[C]

10 minutes.

[A]

Maybe 10 minutes after the Venmo has been accepted.

[D]

It does not break it down into age groups.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Just as Americans.

[A]

So we like to tell other people what to do.

[D]

Yeah, we do.

[A]

And I'd like your opinion on this too, Christy. Well, these various questions about how long should one wait for various activities.

[D]

It's a three date rule.

[A]

Is it one of the thing in there, buying a house? Yes, that's.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[D]

Buying a house is on here too. Yeah. Buying a home together, getting married, having sex. We'll talk about all of that.

[A]

Okay, Very good. I'm looking forward to it. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[C]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios having a heck of a morning. Thank you for joining us. There's Christy Lee at the news desk. Josh, there's Pat Godwin.

[B]

Hi, Josh.

[C]

Jess Hooker's there.

[G]

Hello, Jeff.

[C]

Oscar across the way.

[E]

Yes, sir.

[C]

As is Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Josh Arnold. And Tom. We're talking romance this morning, which is a nice change of pace.

[A]

Love. And unfortunately, one of the news stories was about romance with a dead deer at the side of the.

[D]

All right, you didn't have to bring that up.

[C]

Love is love. Let's not judge.

[D]

New survey from the organization known as as YouGov explores how long Americans think couples should be together before they hit major milestones in their relationships, like having sex, getting married, and buying a home.

[C]

Just Americans. We have no age.

[D]

No age. That's all I got.

[C]

That's fine.

[D]

Two thirds of U.S. adults say the minimum amount of a time a person should be seeing someone before the first kiss is

[C]

two weeks.

[D]

No more than a month. Very good.

[A]

What?

[C]

Okay, so first kiss. Less than a month.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

One third said less than a week.

[C]

Oh.

[D]

When was your. With your current partner? When was your first kiss? First date.

[G]

No.

[B]

At least go for the cheek and see what happens.

[D]

Do you really. First date.

[C]

Cheek?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Face, cheek.

[F]

No.

[G]

Turn around, lady.

[A]

Yeah. No, no joke, Josh.

[C]

Turn around.

[A]

Well, that's awkward. Yeah. I was reading I'm supposed to kiss your butt. The hell you talking.

[D]

Give a hug on the first date. You don't.

[B]

What?

[G]

You absolutely hug.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

You know what? I. Oh, boy. Oh, here we go. This has. This has worked for me.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

At the beginning of a first date, I. I'll go. Hey, look, I'm just gonna get it. Get this out of the way. Way. I do not kiss on first dates.

[D]

Oh.

[C]

And more often than not, I kiss on.

[D]

Do you go to them or. They're coming to you.

[B]

Oh, they're coming.

[D]

They're coming to you.

[A]

That's interesting.

[G]

That's a challenge. Yes. Yeah.

[D]

They're like, hey, I can get him to kiss on the first day.

[G]

That's great.

[D]

30.

[A]

Do you remember the Nick Griffin story? The great comedian Nick Griffin, one of the best people out there. Nick decided he was doing a lot of Internet dating. Do you remember this?

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

This is cool.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And funny. Describe what he did. Go ahead.

[C]

He decided that he was gonna go in for a kiss no matter what. On every first. Yeah.

[A]

No matter if it was going well.

[B]

Just roll the dice.

[C]

Nick is not a creep. He's not like. And he's not. He's certainly not, like, an aggressive sort of threatening guy.

[A]

Very handsome guy.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. For sure.

[A]

And Brilliant, brilliant writer, but.

[C]

And sweet and very quiet.

[A]

Quiet, though.

[C]

Thoughtful. Yeah. So it's funny that he chose to do that. I don't remember what he said. Did he say that it went well? Most.

[D]

No. He said like one time he was in the parking lot at a coffee shop or something, 9am and he smashes this woman's lips and she was like,

[A]

it's like 10:00am Yeah, I think it was really early in the morning.

[D]

It was really early. It was. Yeah.

[B]

You don't do it in the morning on a first.

[E]

So, Josh, you trick the. Well, you don't trick the girl into the first kiss. Are you the same guy who is. Is like, oh, I can't achieve that way when it comes to another thing. So that they are like, oh, I'm going to show you.

[G]

That's very common.

[C]

I think I. Yes.

[A]

Would you leave it right there?

[D]

What do you think? The. How long should it be before you have sex?

[E]

Well.

[C]

Well, you know, what's the average American think? Is that a time period or like a.

[D]

In months.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah, three.

[C]

Three months.

[D]

30% believe couples should hold off from having sex for two to seven months, while 20% said between a week and a month.

[A]

Okay, so wait a second, hold on a second. So 30% said. Was 20. So what about the other 50?

[D]

I don't know. The other 50 probably are.

[C]

They were too busy.

[A]

Yeah, they were too busy banging it out to answer the survey.

[B]

The first day. I thought it was three dates.

[D]

Three dates. Three date rule. Yeah, well, maybe your dates span.

[C]

What was month?

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

[A]

What was the. What was the shaving rule? I'm sorry? A shaving shave, Shaving your legs rule. What was that?

[D]

Yeah, you don't shave your legs if you're going on a date. So you're not tempted to have sex.

[C]

Now that only works for the woman to keep herself from doing it, right?

[A]

Oh, I think you're right.

[C]

I can't have sex with you, sir. I didn't shave my legs. Legs. You think that's going to stop? Says every guy. By the way, it's not Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, pet. It's breakfast, lunch, dinner.

[D]

Are you turned off by a woman who has sex with you on the first date?

[C]

No, I think that's a misconception.

[E]

Yeah, I'm with mine ten and a half years later. No, honestly, I. I thought it was going to be my first and only one night stand and it just last.

[C]

I've never understood. If I have sex with you on the first date, you won't respect Me in the morning. I don't respect you right now. Yeah, you're out with me. I lost all respect for you when you said yes. I think you'd be surprised at how actually you'll go up in my estimation.

[D]

Over 40% of respondents believe couples should wait between two and seven months before saying I love you. You. Which comes first, I love you or the sex?

[C]

I bet in most instances, definitely. Which might be backwards.

[B]

You know, I'm and I love you on the first date.

[A]

Guy

[E]

fall hard.

[A]

You're like. Aren't you? Like three hot breaths in and, hey,

[C]

nice place you got. I love you.

[A]

You want to meet my son?

[E]

Can I move in?

[C]

Hey, Jimmy, come meet your mom.

[D]

That's a tough one. And do you say it first?

[C]

Well, I. It varies, doesn't it? If you feel it, you know, if you're really feeling it, you can say it. How you feel.

[A]

Should we grab the Nick Griffin piece that actually mentions that?

[C]

Yeah. Oh, for sure, yeah.

[D]

Boy, Nick really fits the story.

[B]

This is his wheelhouse.

[D]

20 Believe that you should wait at least eight months before saying I love you. Half the people are married by then. Half of Americans think an engagement should come no sooner than a year after dating.

[C]

Christy, you're teased a lot, unfairly, for having multiple ex husbands at this point.

[D]

I'm proud of it.

[C]

No, I mean, life is life. But you. What is the shortest between a first date and getting engaged for you?

[D]

My first husband.

[A]

Happened how long?

[D]

Well, I think we had been dating a few months, and then we got married within nine months of knowing each other.

[C]

Boy.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Hotter than a pepper spread.

[A]

And not even knocked up.

[D]

No. I wanted to buy a house. I needed this credit.

[C]

Oh, good for you.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, yes, that's a new one. New one. To add to the good for you. The list.

[B]

I got married in three months.

[D]

I was 20. I didn't have any credit.

[E]

Wait, beginning from the day you met her, you were married three months later?

[B]

Yeah, we did a radio trip down to Jamaica. I met her. We were married three months later.

[A]

Later. Which one is this? One or two?

[B]

That was Kim 3.

[D]

Kim.

[A]

Kim 3? Yeah.

[B]

Or Kim Chi. I'm not quite sure.

[A]

I think Kim3 smelled better than Kim G. 10%.

[D]

Feel that.

[A]

Get a whiff of that stuff.

[D]

An engagement shouldn't come until three years after you've been dating.

[C]

I'm closer to that.

[E]

I. I say 12.

[D]

12 years?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

How long you been.

[E]

10 and a half.

[D]

Well, Aussie was 12. Wasn't she close?

[C]

She was older than that.

[B]

All those chicken hormones.

[D]

70% of those polled think couples should be together for at least a year before getting engaged. 20% said, you should wait three years before taking that step. All right, let's see. 40% of Americans said it's better to move in together before marriage.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

30% said it's better to do this after getting married.

[G]

Married.

[D]

I say wait until you've been married eight months before he moves in. That's what we did.

[B]

I say separate residences.

[D]

I tried that, Pat.

[A]

Didn't work.

[D]

Yeah, half said people should be together a minimum of two years before buying a home together. Now, is that being married, or is that just. Would you buy a house with someone you weren't married to? Oh, wait a minute. What am I asking?

[H]

Well.

[A]

Well, I don't think you want to ask that.

[D]

I mean, that's. That is. How long do you have? That's a tough thing.

[C]

Are there any other. Because I'd like to know how long you can be with somebody who has kids. How long do you have to be their stepdad before you can hit them?

[A]

Thanks, Josh.

[C]

Jeff.

[E]

Six months. I've never hit mine, but I yell at them like they're my kids.

[A]

Do they respond with, you're not my real dad?

[E]

Oh, if they did, they would. Oh, yeah, I know. I pay all the bills.

[C]

I'm nothing like your world. I was dating a girl and her son. We got along great, but her son. We were in the living room. She was getting ready for work. He and I were in the living room, and he was getting on the back of the couch and then jumping onto the floor and doing this repeatedly. And she came in and she got goes, you're just gonna let him jump off the couch like that? And I didn't say anything. And she went back to getting ready for work. He gets up on the back of the couch, jumps on the ground. I go, knock it off. She comes in. She goes, how dare you yell at myself.

[A]

Yeah, see, that's gonna happen.

[D]

Well, that was gonna be my next question. How long are you dating someone before you meet the kids? Pat can't answer.

[C]

Yeah, whatever.

[A]

Pat, you take Jimmy with you, right?

[B]

Oh, he goes on all dates.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

Does he?

[B]

It's a free meal. She's buying.

[E]

See, to me, that's an after I say I love you.

[D]

Oh, absolutely.

[E]

Like that. Like, I have to know. Yeah, I have to know that we're in it for the long haul before you meet my kid.

[D]

Exactly. That's what I feel, too.

[A]

I see now we have more dating stuff, but. Oh, go ahead.

[D]

This is another one. As a single mom, never ever did I have someone spend the night while my kids were there. Ever.

[E]

Yeah, you guys set that time for 3:30 in the morning and get up and out before they wake up?

[D]

No, I wouldn't even. I'm. No, I mean it was either. You know, we had split schedules. So on days off, that's when. Yeah.

[A]

How about meeting your dog?

[D]

Meeting your dog?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

At what point do you let them meet your dog? It's gotta be right away, right?

[E]

Yeah. Because the dog will tell you.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

If you don't get along with my dog, we're out.

[A]

This is not gonna. And this is not gonna work.

[B]

You never snuck in a back bedroom while the kids are downstairs?

[C]

Stairs?

[E]

No.

[A]

Nothing.

[G]

Wow.

[D]

No, I was real adamant about that.

[A]

That's pretty good.

[B]

That's pretty cool.

[E]

Apparently Pat has.

[D]

Apparently, yeah.

[B]

I was a little fuzzled too.

[F]

Open on.

[D]

50% said couples should be together for at least two years before having a child.

[C]

H. All right.

[D]

Sometimes you don't have a choice.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. And how do you feel about having sex before marriage?

[A]

Oh, so what's the survey says?

[C]

What?

[D]

30% said it's better for a couple to have sex before getting married. 30% said you should wait till after marriage to have sex. 40% said it didn't matter.

[A]

Again, that middle ground is the people who are too busy having sex to fill out the survey.

[D]

Yeah, I think all those people are having fun. The rest of them are. Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

How many said you leave the envelope of cash on the dresser before the act? And how many said you give it to her after the.

[B]

I think after.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

What do you do now?

[A]

Do you use one of those semi. Semi clear envelopes so they can see that it looks like a C note in there?

[B]

You put 100 on top of the just magazines.

[C]

Magazines, yeah, exactly. Why is Art Link letter on this

[D]

if you're already married? Did we talk about the shared bedtime thing?

[A]

Thing.

[D]

Did we talk about that?

[A]

If not, go ahead, read it again.

[D]

A new survey suggests the secret to a happy marriage might be as simple as going to bed at the same time. Talker research pulled 2,000 married Americans and found the. On the average, a couple has an 80 minute bedtime gap between the time one goes to bed and then the other one several times a week.

[A]

This is not fair for us because virtually all of us had have an odd situation in which we get up. I mean, I got up this morning before 2:30.

[D]

Well, you're a freak.

[G]

You don't count.

[D]

You don't count.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[D]

The rest of us.

[G]

No, the rest of us do count.

[A]

You, my Jeffrey, what you get. You got here like at 4. What time do you get up?

[E]

No, I, I get up at 4 and I'm here at like 4:40.

[A]

Okay. Does. Does your girl friend whatever going to bed at 4:40?

[E]

Yeah, no, she's. She's sleeps till 11.

[B]

It's. It's 3:30am for me and my son is still up, so.

[A]

So.

[C]

Oh, that's a problem.

[G]

School nights.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yes, but he goes to bed. He's supposed to go to bed at 11 on school nights, but he has 11.

[G]

11.

[E]

Ours is 11.

[B]

I'm the good dad,

[E]

by the way.

[A]

Pat. I've got a good bail bondsman. I'll get.

[D]

My husband and I go to bed at the same time and he gets up as I'm leaving at five.

[A]

That's a rarity, I think.

[D]

I know it is.

[G]

My husband lays down with me and then when I fall asleep, he gets back up and then comes back to bed at 11.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Do you wake up when he gets back to bed?

[G]

No, no, not usually. I mean, maybe little, but not really.

[C]

Now my husband, I mean boyfriend. I mean,

[D]

couples are reported being very happy.

[A]

So that gift from Brokeback Mountain is the one you. Sorry.

[D]

Said they go to bed together about four times a week compared to just once a week for less happy couples. What time do you go to bed?

[A]

Ideally 8:30.

[D]

And what time does Kelly go to bed? You don't know because you're asleep.

[B]

He doesn't know.

[C]

And she does not wake you up when she slides into bed.

[A]

If she were to get into bed and it'd be a miracle. Do trampoline. Do trampoline stunts and then have the dog start barking. I would not wake up.

[C]

Okay, that's good.

[B]

Usually in a different time zone.

[A]

That's for a funny pet.

[D]

Coordinated bedtimes were also linked to better sleep with 40 saying that they sleep better with their partner in the bed.

[C]

I wish I did, man.

[G]

I do.

[D]

I don't.

[C]

Oh, yeah. You like?

[G]

Oh, my husband's out of town and I had nightmares last night. I was scared to death.

[C]

It was.

[A]

It was.

[G]

It was horrible. It was so bad.

[F]

You could have called me.

[G]

I could have called you.

[C]

I.

[A]

Of late, one of my dogs now is discovered that once everybody's asleep, he can climb up.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes. I'll feel that hot breath on my face thinking, oh. And I look up and there's a large white golden retriever Staring at me. Hi. What you doing?

[D]

Yeah. Both of our friends.

[A]

I've had enough sleep. Let's go out. That was this morning at 2:00am but this thing about going to bed at the same time, then there's also the factor of kids. Sure. When you have. Getting them to go to bed. I mean, the human. Human being. And there's a famous study in one, which I think it was In France, whatever. 100 years ago, they did a thing where they put people in a cave, Remember this? And they see what would happen.

[D]

Circadian rhythms.

[A]

And you don't. For whatever reason, you always want to stay awake, like, an extra hour, and pretty soon you get completely off yourself.

[D]

Yeah. Huh.

[A]

So it's. It's sort of natural to want. That's why your son Pat wants to stay up.

[B]

Yeah, he does.

[A]

He doesn't really have to because he's. You're up, you're running, you're thinking, you're feeling great. Great. Why go to bed? It really throws everything off.

[D]

Yeah. But sleep is so important. It's like one of the number one things you need.

[A]

This is why I'm so screwed up. I don't get any. No. But I like having her right there. I do love that. I like.

[C]

Oh, that's good.

[A]

I'm with you on that one. Just having her there is great.

[C]

Now Jess and Pat have the kind of relationship where I could honestly see Jess calling Pat and going, I need a sleeping buddy. And you could go over there and she would just spoon you.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And that's it.

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

I just. I just throw my leg over his hip until I fall asleep.

[D]

Then you can. Come on, man. Men and women can't just be friends like that.

[C]

Oh, I'm not saying Pat wouldn't want to immediately. I'm saying.

[D]

Jazz, I know Pat really well. I don't think he would.

[H]

What?

[B]

I'm very. I'm very sweet.

[D]

Can you imagine if your husband. Hey, Pat's gonna come spend the night while you're gone.

[G]

Oh, there's been times that Pat and I have been on the phone on a Saturday morning, and my husband's like,

[D]

you've got to be kidding.

[C]

Just because of the giggling?

[G]

Yes.

[A]

It's just.

[G]

You would think I was on the phone with a girlfriend.

[C]

Right, Right.

[G]

Well,

[A]

it's close now.

[C]

I, like.

[A]

Do you know. Are you the one that has the friend that has the two separate elaborate bedrooms with the separate closets? Was that.

[D]

I have a friend who has two separate houses. Houses. She's. They're right next door to Each other. And they have. They have a sidewalk in between the two. They are. They've been together over 10 years now.

[C]

It's not for everybody, but I bet they are that.

[D]

And they're building a home in Michigan for retiring.

[C]

For her boyfriend. And it's really.

[A]

That's a good idea. Yeah.

[D]

Torch Lake, they're actually building very close to Walloon Lake. They're building a home up there.

[A]

And so this guy's a billionaire.

[D]

Separately, they're built. Building two separate homes again, connected by a walkway. Let's just talk.

[G]

There's Jennifer Tilly, and her husband or partner are the same way, like, right next door. She wakes up every morning, walks over to his house. They have their coffee, they have their breakfast.

[C]

Like, I love Jennifer Tilly.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I really do.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

But waking up to that voice could be a little challenging.

[A]

I wonder if he wanted. I wonder if they have. With separate houses, because I'm guessing that the lady will still come over to the guy's house and start rearranging stuff, walk into his office and go, those papers, I don't want to see you put those away.

[C]

I just recently heard a story about Wayne Gretzky, and there were buddies hanging out with Wayne, and they went out to the garage, and there were all these boxes out there. And he go, what are in these boxes? And Wayne goes, I don't know. And he started opening up. He's like, oh, here's my MVP trophy. Here's my. His wife would love him have any

[D]

of that in the house.

[C]

So if Wayo can't have. Yeah, that's pretty funny.

[A]

Do you have any of your awards posted at your house hosted?

[D]

I have the Marconis on a bookshelf. Yeah, that's cool.

[A]

I think mine are in Sam's space.

[D]

You don't have those up in your house?

[A]

I don't have anything up in my house.

[B]

I have it in my place.

[D]

Why don't you have them in your office?

[A]

There's not room. I have other stuff I've got to put in there. Coming up, we have.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

Coming up, we have a little history lesson for you. It's very exciting today.

[C]

And do we have a surprise?

[E]

You.

[C]

You threatened us with one.

[A]

It's here.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, the cake, Jess. Yeah, it was just the cake.

[A]

Well, that's not a surprise anymore.

[D]

We saw the cake.

[B]

Ate it an hour ago.

[A]

You did?

[G]

Yeah, it was for Aaron's birthday. It was his makeup gift.

[A]

It was referred to as AA.

[G]

Oh, sorry.

[A]

AA's birthday. So we got him a nice cake. AA is our newest staff member. He's a great guy. And it's. Is it alcohol free?

[E]

It is.

[G]

I didn't know.

[B]

It's an AA cake.

[D]

Yes, it is. Yes.

[C]

Ace is shaking his head no. Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Very good.

[A]

Right now, I want to talk about cars again because we've determined that. Let me ask you this, Ms. Hooker. How many cars do you think you've owned outright, right, since you were 16?

[G]

Oh, since I was 16. Probably 5.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

See, that's. That's Christy. First three years, Christie has own work. We've determined more than anybody else in this room.

[D]

I literally bought a car one time, drove it for a month, saw another car I liked better. Same model, same make, different color, traded it. I love that new one.

[G]

I love that you did that.

[A]

No, it was stupid.

[D]

I was.

[A]

Yeah, I bought a. I. I one time bought a car over the phone. I've been driving. Yeah, I've been driving the same model for. While the guy calls up and goes, hey, we got the brand new. Blah, blah, blah. So I got it, and I hated it so much, I turned it in a couple. It was all. Everything was on a touchscreen. I hated.

[D]

You know what? You're not gonna hate a Hyundai.

[A]

That's what I'm talking about. You've had all these cars, Christy, but your favorite is the Hyundai. Tell me more.

[D]

I love it. I've had mine for two years. The hybrid is amazing. The Hyundai Palisade hybrid will get you about 619 miles on one tank. So that's a quite a bit of range. And it will hold seven quite comfortably. A very beautiful interior.

[A]

And the cool trick is this is kind of funny. They call it no cleats in the seats. When I was a kid, we had the classic station wagon, which in the back seat would face backwards. Remember those days?

[D]

Oh, that gets you sick when you did that.

[A]

No, I loved that. And I famously threw the shoes out of the back window when I was a kid and somewhere near Toledo on the way to Harbor Springs.

[D]

Were you mad?

[A]

No. I was a kid. I said, hey, this will be funny. I heave my shoes out. That's one of my parents favorite stories. The point is to then. And then contemporary vehicles that have that third seat, you have to climb over the second seat because they don't have a door in the way back. So what they've done at Hyundai is they put captain's chairs for the back seats. So you get two there, and then you can walk between the chairs to get to the back seats. So no cleats on the seats. Thank you, Hyundai.

[D]

Yes, the Hyundai Palisade hybrid is a beautiful vehicle. And if you want more information on it, all you have to do is visit HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-4006,03 for more details. Hyundai USA.com and I think they're having a great sales event going on right now. You might want to check it out.

[A]

And it's not just the Palisade.

[D]

No.

[A]

Whole bunch of great, whole bunch of great vehicles. When we come back, a little bit of history lesson for you. Always exciting. Plus, we have another naked guy in the news. This one's really cool. He's naked. He's committing a felony. There are other people involved. This is really exciting. And oh, by the way, it's in Wisconsin. So kind of chilly, don't you think, to be naked right now? Now that'll all be coming up from these studios, the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Thanks again to Joe for helping me out at O'Reilly's on Sunday. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[I]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show, sponsored in part by Java House, the official coffee and refreshments of the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Nobody drew.

[C]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Thank O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee at the news desk.

[D]

Hi.

[C]

Pat Godwin's over there.

[E]

Hello.

[C]

Next to Jess Hooker.

[G]

Hello.

[C]

Jeff Osborne across from me. I am Josh Arnold. There's Ace Cosby. And there's Tom. Tom, what are you looking at?

[A]

This is my new calendar with the, with today in History on it.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

The thing is it's only got one event on it.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

So, but I, I'm gonna go to the Today in History calendar online that I have here.

[C]

I see. If you'd like to learn us a little about history. Today in history.

[A]

Give me just a second. As I told you, my computer failed this morning.

[C]

That's fine.

[D]

I've February 20th.

[C]

I was talking to while you were looking.

[A]

Well, thank you very much. I appreciate that.

[C]

I'm talking while Tom's looking.

[A]

Today is the birthday of hart Griswold, age 10. My youngest child.

[C]

Happy birthday, heart.

[A]

And I think this is the first time in like 36 years I haven't had a child under 10.

[G]

Good job.

[D]

Get to work.

[A]

We had that discussion last evening.

[D]

Oh, did you?

[A]

And it was met with disdain. Yeah. It might be somewhat irresponsible at my age to have another one.

[D]

Is that what you were told?

[A]

No, no, I just figured that out myself.

[D]

Wasn't there some famous actor? Tony Curtis had a kid at like 80 something, didn't he? Oh, yeah, a lot of them do.

[E]

Pacino has a kid.

[D]

Yeah, right.

[G]

Yeah, just recently.

[A]

He's like a two year old and he's what, 80 something? Oh, yeah, yeah, that's 83. I don't think you'll be seeing him at the high school graduation.

[E]

Well, they can buy their diapers together, so it works.

[A]

Happy birthday. Oh, this is a tough one. Josh, you might know this. I'll give you a buck if you do.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Born in 1786. The creator of Grimm's Fairy Tales. Remember his first name?

[C]

It eludes me.

[A]

Yeah, I would never have gotten it either. Wilhelm.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

What if they called him Willie?

[C]

Willie? Willie Graham,

[A]

good storyteller, terrible babysitter. Yeah, I would think.

[C]

Scared the hell out of the children.

[A]

Twilight Zone for kids. Very fine actor. Abe vagoda, born in 1921. Yeah. Yes, famously still alive. Great. In the Godfather.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

He's still alive.

[A]

No, but he. He lived to be damn near a hundred.

[E]

Yeah. Last time I was in New York, I got on the elevator and the door opens and it's him and his wife walking. Walk in.

[C]

I was like, oh, my gosh, Barney Miller.

[E]

And he goes, I. That's not my name. But he lived in the hotel. Him and his wife lived in the hotel that I was staying in. And I ran into him like five times and they asked me about my trip every time. He was wonderful.

[C]

That's awesome.

[A]

Terrific.

[E]

And he's big. He's a big guy. His wife's tiny, like Chris.

[A]

I've always wanted to live in a hotel. Yes. I would too.

[G]

I would do it.

[A]

I'm serious. I would think it'd be great.

[C]

You?

[A]

Yeah, it just be so much fun.

[G]

What?

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[C]

I mean, we're talking a nice thing. It's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Admittedly, it'd be the Four Seasons, where

[C]

it would feel like a.

[D]

You lived in a hotel?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

I live park right in front.

[C]

And it was.

[E]

That was a motel.

[C]

Man, it got old real quick.

[B]

In Wilbur, Pennsylvania. I lived there for like three months. The hotel Sterling.

[A]

Yeah. Was it not sterling silver? No. Oh, let's see. Where were we? Happy birthday. Edward James Almost, born in 1947 from. What's. Was he Miami Vice?

[C]

Yep. He was.

[B]

Started off in that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Wow. Was he like a bad guy who kept.

[E]

Oh, is he the one with the face.

[D]

Weird face marks. Yeah, pop marks.

[C]

Stand and deliver. Yeah, that movie.

[A]

And yeah, he's Happy Birthday Steve Jobs, the creator of one of the main guy at Apple for a long, long time. Billy Zane, great actor. Have you seen the thing where he's doing Brando?

[C]

He looks just like him. It's. It's crazy.

[G]

It is weird.

[A]

Probably most famous for what, Titanic. But yeah, the brand. Is the Brando thing out yet?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. And the reviews for the movie aren't good, but the reviews for him are stellar.

[H]

Okay.

[A]

Sadly, he's gone, but Mitch Hedberg. This was Mitch's birthday. Mitch was in the show several times.

[C]

Jeff, did you ever meet him?

[E]

No, I was a huge fan.

[C]

Yeah, I never did either. Oh, cool.

[A]

Yeah, he's in here.

[D]

She was there a couple of times. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Bur Biggs has a great story about an encounter. He was working with Mitch and Mitch had something happen and Big said, I kind of go up and do Mitch's act for 10 minutes until Mitch came back. Let's see now. On this date in history. That's too sad. We'll skip that. I mentioned this one. I had this earlier. Elton John knighted by Queen Elizabeth along with Freddie Mercury. Once again, three Queens. We Three Queens. Wasn't that a song?

[C]

We Three kings of Orient.

[D]

Yes, that's the Christmas version.

[A]

The spring version is We Three, We Three Queens. That'll do it. For our history lesson coming up, we have outboard motors in the news. News in a very cool way, kind of. And once again, nobody drowned. Important to know.

[C]

Nobody was chopped up.

[D]

No, teasing is just.

[A]

I think it's. It's a great teaser. What are you, an Evan Root person? Or Johnson or Mercury?

[D]

I've never owned a boat. I don't even know.

[C]

She's crazy about a Mercury.

[A]

Ah, thank you, Josh. And Pat, you've got another song for us. I understand.

[B]

I do have it, yes.

[A]

Okay, good. We'll start.

[B]

A text from the accent.

[C]

Well, you.

[A]

No. Doesn't she know not to bother you?

[D]

Listen, doesn't she know?

[C]

No, she doesn't. Oh, of course. And we kind of beg Pat to not have. Go to airport mode or whatever. Airplane mode while in here, but he.

[B]

Airport mode.

[A]

You don't need to. Look, we, We. We put you down enough in here. You don't have to have someone doing it from the outside world. So it's hard enough just with us beating you up. We're going to continue to do that from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[I]

More of the show is on the way. You can find us on xobandtom or you can email us at Bob and Tom. Bob and Tom dot com.

[C]

Hi there. It's the Bob and Tom show, live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Boy, we're ready for spring in this room. We just spent six minutes talking about lake life. Yeah, we're looking forward to a nice spring. There's Christy Lee at the news desk. Hi, Pat Godwin there.

[E]

Hello.

[C]

Jess Hooker next to him.

[G]

Hi.

[C]

Hi. Jeff Oskay.

[E]

Hey, man.

[C]

There's Ace Cosby.

[A]

Hello.

[C]

I am Josh Arnold. And there's Tom.

[A]

We're going to a boat show this weekend and we got a boat story coming up. Kind of. Okay, kind of. Sort of a weird one.

[D]

But first.

[A]

But well, before we get to that, I earlier I made an unpleasant joke and I, I, I received some mail about it.

[C]

Oh, you did?

[A]

I'd like to not apologize the, well, Lindsey Vaughn, who I'm a huge fan and you know that I've been speaking very highly of her. And she came out and said that she almost lost her leg. It was so serious. And they've, they've give that story over there. There.

[E]

Yeah. Thank goodness. To the orthopedic surgeon. He did a fasciitis of me and salvaged her leg so it didn't have to be amputated.

[A]

And it's got all kinds of pins

[E]

and rods, but she has to wait a year for it to heal so they can do the ACL surgery.

[G]

That's true.

[C]

She's got a long road ahead of her, but.

[D]

Yeah, she does.

[C]

She's a warrior.

[A]

Yeah. And I made the point that it was good news, bad news because she was, if she'd lost the leg, she had been cast as Heather Mills in the Paul McCartney store.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[H]

Okay.

[D]

See, famously so you get more male.

[A]

Yeah. Now, do you know the name? Someone asked what is Paul McCartney's been married three times.

[C]

Yeah, I was asking it. Linda and then Heather and now Nancy.

[B]

Nancy.

[A]

Nancy, yeah.

[C]

With a smiling face.

[A]

Well, her name is Nancy, but actually her name was McGill. She called herself Lil, but everyone knows her is Nancy.

[G]

What is that a song?

[B]

Is that a lyric from Rocky Raccoon?

[A]

Oh, her name was McGill. You don't know that.

[G]

No, I don't.

[A]

That fine joke was wasted on all of you.

[C]

Oh, yes. Yeah, there we go.

[A]

Am I getting a yes from Christopher and the glad. Thank you very much, sir.

[B]

Her name was McGill, but she called Herself, Lil.

[A]

But everyone knew her as Nancy.

[C]

I like that one.

[G]

Yeah, that's cute.

[A]

Rocky Raccoon. I love that song.

[C]

Yeah, I like that song, too. I didn't. I. Obviously not enough to know the lyrics.

[D]

Right? I just knew Rocky Raccoon.

[A]

Okay. It's important to know everything about the Beatles. Just ask me and Pat or my husband.

[D]

Thank you.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Oh, God.

[A]

He'll know that one.

[D]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, he'll know that one.

[A]

And, no, I'm not looking forward to the. They're making four movies about the. Have you seen this?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yes.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't want it.

[G]

No.

[A]

It's like. It was like when Kiss made the solo album. So I don't want that.

[D]

You don't want that?

[A]

No, no.

[D]

Earlier, we were talking about love and marriage and, you know, all that kind of stuff. We have a letter. I met my husband on the third night we made love. I asked him to marry me on the eighth day. And his response was, I have nothing else to do with the rest of my life. We've been married 33 years or 31 years now. So. Thank you, Chris from Rock Island. Yeah. Isn't that a sweet story?

[A]

Well, thank you very much.

[D]

Some people do find love at first sight. Do you believe in love in first sight?

[A]

On a first date? This is from dd oh, it's okay. It's a guy. It's Douglas. Sorry. I was on a first date where a couple of times we had a little awkward silence and my date asked, what you thinking? That worked to propel the conversation forward. Turned out to be a great date. At the end of the night, I walked her to her car and said, ask me what I'm thinking now. She did, and I said, I'm thinking about how much I want to kiss you right now.

[C]

This is pretty good.

[G]

This is good.

[A]

That was over 30 years ago. It still works every time.

[D]

Oh, that's sweet.

[A]

Thank you, Doug. In Cincinnati.

[C]

That's very nice.

[D]

Does it still work with the same woman, or is he cheating?

[E]

What do you mean?

[B]

Works every time.

[A]

Sorry, Doug. They. They, of course, took that the wrong way. Now, I've been talking about.

[C]

Wait a second. I have a letter here.

[A]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[B]

I didn't.

[C]

Gary. Gary wrote in. He said, I'm okay with sex before marriage as long as it doesn't delay the ceremony.

[D]

I think he's right.

[C]

You have guests there. They want to.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

They got cake. They want to eat. Sure. Okay, good. I've been talking about outboard motors.

[D]

Swedish authorities say a Group of German tourists that were trying to build a floating sauna needed to be rescued from an ice flow.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

The five dwarfs were attempting to create their own motor driven sauna when the swell from a passing passenger ferry broke the piece of ice they were on and left them stranded in the waters near Stockholm.

[C]

So how did this work?

[D]

The fairy. Super confusing the fairies crew rescued four people, followed by the fifth, who stayed longer to pack up their equipment. Follow me here. This is what they were using. They had a sauna. They had a motorized saw, a standup paddle board, a GoPro, and an outboard motor.

[C]

So they wanted the sauna to be mobile.

[G]

Yes.

[A]

And okay, they were on an ice floe.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And the idea, I guess, was you. You use the saw to. Eventually when you get the thing set up, you would saw the ice flow off. So you could.

[D]

Then you could just drive it around.

[A]

Yeah. So how you affix the motor to the ice flow would be kind of tricky, but I guess they'd figured that out.

[D]

I thought they were fixing the motor to the paddle board with the sauna on it. That would make the most sense. Right.

[A]

The paddleboard wouldn't support a sauna, would it?

[D]

If it was sitting on an ice floe. And then you attach it to the back of the.

[A]

Oh, I see, I see. Okay. So the sauna's on top of the paddleboard and the paddle board's on top

[C]

of the ice flow.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow, this is really complicated. This. See, to me, this is like a cartoon.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's funny, you know, where the cartoon guy puts the, you know, puts the outboard motor on the ice flow, starts driving around.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

But what went wrong here?

[D]

It broke off.

[A]

Broke off before they got ready they

[D]

could get it done.

[A]

And that they. And so they had the ferry come and rescue them.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Then the one guy goes, I can't get in the boat yet. I got to get my Evan Rudolph the thing.

[D]

Well, you don't want to lose it.

[C]

Yeah. No, you don't.

[A]

You know what you call that when you have a outboard motor on an ice float?

[C]

What?

[A]

That's a Fjord F150.

[C]

Oh, who knew? I mean, fjords are in the area.

[D]

Yeah. Don't give them credit.

[A]

They don't have them in Sweden.

[C]

Well, they're not in the water. I mean, a fjord is not.

[D]

Fjord is in an ice woe.

[A]

It's a Fjord F150.

[C]

You know what? I appreciate your perseverance.

[D]

Firefighters in Oregon rescued a surfer who was stranded at the base of a cliff. Nescucha Rural Fire Protection District said crews were dispatched to Cape Kawanda beach to help two surfers that had gotten caught in a rip current. One was able to make it back to shore, but the other was pushed toward a rock cliff and was unable to climb up on his own.

[C]

That sucks.

[D]

They had to rebel down and assist the surfer up the cliff. Here you go.

[A]

Gotta hand it to these, these rescue crews. I know, that's amazing. The guys got to the rappelling line and all that other stuff going down

[D]

there to get him. Yeah.

[A]

So I understand why the surfer couldn't swim back out.

[C]

Rip current.

[D]

It was a rip current.

[E]

Yeah, it was bad.

[C]

Kept pushing him into the.

[A]

It had to be kind of embarrassing.

[D]

Have you ever been caught in a rip current scare?

[A]

No, I mean. I mean the surfers have kind of a code. They don't wear life jackets.

[C]

They're badasses and, well, they're idiots.

[D]

Well, there's that.

[A]

Yeah. Now I'm back to this. I just noticed something about this. The people with the Fjord 150.

[C]

Oh, geez. Yes.

[A]

I didn't realize they were tourists. So they really had no idea what they were doing.

[G]

Right.

[C]

See, I like this kind of thing. I like when ingenuity, when maybe a group of people who are out to have fun and maybe little booze gets involved and idiocy abounds.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. They were German tourists. So I wonder if they were wearing those cool suits.

[D]

What?

[A]

You know, the ones with the leather pants and the.

[C]

Oh, and leader hosen.

[A]

Leader hose.

[B]

Cool suits. I thought we were going back earlier

[A]

in time drinking those, you know, stop. 80 ounce beers.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Be careful when you say those old Germans in those cool suits.

[B]

We weren't thinking.

[E]

We were.

[A]

You're talking about sour. Sorry, that's not what I meant. I meant the ones for drinking, you know, the leather shorts. I'm sorry I brought it up. Now what's coming up, Christy?

[D]

Oh, we have time for this. Authorities in Wisconsin say a naked guy stole an ambulance with a patient inside. Wluk reports two paramedics were attempting or were attending rather to a patient in Wisconsin rapids when a 37 year old man who'd been evading law enforcement climbed into the driver's seat of the ambulance.

[A]

So the guy's naked?

[D]

Yeah. Paramedics were unable to stop the guy before he took off, leading police on an 18 mile pursuit.

[E]

Wow.

[D]

After two failed attempts to deploy tire deflation devices, a third successfully disabled the ambulance. Ambulance. The suspect, who is not wearing clothes, was taken into Custody on numerous charges. The patient, by the way, was not injured during the ordeal. I hope he's okay.

[C]

Oh, he was already dead. Thank goodness. Yeah, no kidding.

[B]

What's he thinking back there? Where are we going?

[C]

What the hell's going on over there?

[A]

How much is this gonna cost me? Do I have to pay for this thing? How crazy. Yeah, this has to be a man meth thing.

[C]

Man, there's something going on.

[A]

It's Wisconsin in the winter. Naked. Wow. Do they leave the ambulances running, do you suppose you pop the siren. Is it obvious when you get into an ambulance, which button is the siren?

[D]

I have never been in an ambulance in my life.

[A]

I've been in one, but I've never driven one. Yeah, because like is like a big red button you press and it says siren.

[C]

I don't know if it's obvious or not.

[A]

Probably is. Yeah, because if you pop the siren on, hey, you can just keep going.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

As you approach every light, they're gonna. Do the ambulances trigger those lights to go red. Do they have some kind of radio device?

[C]

I don't think so at all. No. In fact, there's. They're supposed to. I. I had somebody, a police officer told me that technically ambulances can be pulled over for speeding. They can you imagine being the police?

[A]

How about the guy in the back?

[C]

You know how fast you were going? You know how many. You know how soon that guy is to die back there?

[E]

Wow.

[A]

Man, I thought.

[E]

I thought there was. And maybe it's state by state, but I believe there are some. And maybe not ambulance. I think it's fire trucks will trigger the lights ahead.

[D]

I do think a fire truck can do that.

[C]

Well, that's a good thing.

[A]

I know in Wisconsin it's a requirement that if you're being taken in an ambulance, no matter what the speed is, you have to go to a Culver's drive through.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's exactly.

[A]

Because those are so delicious.

[D]

They are. I'll have a butter burger, please.

[C]

Boy, what's with the people who paint ambulances? Are they all morons? The word ambulance is always back up.

[D]

Isn't that crazy?

[B]

I mean, just move the stencil, we

[E]

get a non dyslexic painter in here.

[C]

I guess not all idiots.

[A]

It'd be really funny though if someone did it upside down. For an unusual version of dyslexia. Right. Now I want to remind you that Chick Magee walked in here about a decade ago and on Monday and he said, hey, over the weekend I installed a security system at my house. That was the first time I'd heard about Simplisafe. We've been talking about it ever since. And Simplisafe has been getting more popular and better. Simplisafe now has a bunch of really cool stuff. You can install it yourself. By the way. You pick what system you need. Need. You know, do you need cameras over here? Do you need an alarm on that window? Smoke detectors, carbon monoxide detectors, et cetera, et cetera. Simplisafe can get you hooked up. And by the way, if you don't want to install yourself, they're happy to install it for you. Get all the [e-mail] and by the way, Simplisafe has something relatively new. They're calling it Active Guard Outdoor Protection. And this is the latest thing involving AI and cameras that actually will detect lurkers outside your house or your business, wherever you have it set up. And they can actually then live attendance professionals are monitoring your house and they'll say, hey, they can go. They can say, hey, burglar, get out of the way. I'm sure they're probably a little more direct than that. There might be something a little more threatening coming from them. But the idea being that this is going to help you protect your stuff. And by the way, with Simplisafe, no long term contracts, no cancellation fees, these monitoring plans, there's a whole bunch of different ones. They started just about a buck a day. They have a 60 day satisfaction guarantee or your money back. And Listen to this one. U.S. news enrolled report five years in a row has named Simplisafe the best home security system. It's also ranked number one in customer service by USA Today and Newsweek. So why wait? Protect your home today and Enjoy a staggering 50% off the new SimpliSafe system with professional monitoring. All the details are posted for [e-mail] once again, 50% off today. That's simplisafetom.com we've got it right here. We got a bunch of cameras right here in our studios from Simplisafe. And there's no safe like Simplisafe. Coming up, we're going to return to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios where we have a mother who was missing, has been found and a little kitty cat in the news, a sweet little, little kitty cat. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, it's the Bob and Tom Show.

[C]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show. Live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee at the news desk.

[D]

Hi.

[C]

Pat Godwin's there.

[E]

Hello.

[C]

Jess Hooker.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

Across the way.

[G]

Hello.

[C]

Next to Jeff Oskay. Yes. Ace Cosby. Hey, how the heck are you? I'm Josh Arnold. Thank you so much for joining us. There's Tom.

[A]

Hello. Thank you for joining us. And thanks,

[D]

Josh. You're doing a hell of a job today.

[E]

Thank you.

[C]

I, I, I think Tom was just thrown by the fact that I didn't stutter that time.

[D]

No, you did. Great job.

[C]

His brain went well, somebody has to stutter. Then he did.

[A]

We can't act like we're professionals here. Now, where were we? Oh, we were talking with Chris Lee with the news. But earlier we were talking about this survey. Survey says about how long you're supposed to wait before the first kiss, etc, etc, etc. One of the things was how long before you say I love you? And I. It reminded me of a famous piece from Nick Griffin, one of my favorite comedians. And Nick's a very handsome guy.

[C]

He is a silver fox, isn't he?

[A]

Yeah, he is and sure is just a great joke writer.

[C]

Writer.

[A]

He had that famous story about going on Letterman and I think he did Letterman about a dozen times. Yeah, but one time he went on Letterman and partway into his bit, his act, he just forgot it. He just stood and stared at the

[C]

audience and everybody was super cool and they edited in a way and he got back, but man, what a nightmare.

[A]

Yeah, that's the one. But he's a great stand up. Always goes. Anyways, this is the first time he was ever on our show. So, Nick, let's start with the basics. Are you a married guy?

[H]

No, I just got divorced.

[A]

Sorry to hear about that.

[H]

It's okay. Lots of people get divorced. Nothing to be ashamed of. So many people get divorced these days that now it's the people that stay married. That really seems strange, you know, 25 years. Oh my God.

[A]

What happened?

[E]

That's true.

[H]

Don't you know you can get out of it?

[A]

Haven't you heard?

[C]

What's the deal, dude?

[H]

We only lasted three years.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[H]

Yeah, three years. We were supposed to be together until one of us died. I never even had a fever. You gotta reevaluate yourself after you get divorced. You people been anyone here?

[E]

Anyone?

[H]

Quite a few you're looking at. There it is. This will make you feel better, Einstein. Got divorced.

[A]

He did, yeah.

[H]

Did you know that Albert Einstein, arguably the most intelligent man who ever lived, got divorced? They should tell you that before you get married. Shouldn't be, do you love her? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with her? It should be, do you think you're smarter than Einstein?

[E]

It's brilliant.

[H]

The point is that marriage is hard. No one tells you how hard it's going to be. It's, you know, they slip it into the ceremony at the last second during the vows, you know, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poor. But at that point, what are you gonna say?

[A]

Whoa, whoa.

[H]

How sick and poor is this broad gonna get? Like, barfing and charging stuff.

[A]

Nick Griffin is our guest comedian. Nick Griffin, how long ago has it been since you got the divorce?

[H]

It was about three years ago.

[A]

Oh, so you're dating then?

[H]

I guess, kind of, you know, not. Nothing serious. I don't want to. You know what I don't want to do? I don't want to say I love you anymore.

[E]

Just.

[H]

I hate that first. I love you. That's the worst first time you ever tell a woman you love her. If they like you, they want to hear it. And when they hear it that first

[A]

time, something comes over them.

[H]

You know, their eyes get all wide, get that diabolical grin on their face. You can almost feel them sense saying, excellent. It's all falling into place, you know? And once you say I love you the first time, get ready to say it forever. You're on the love side now. There's no going back. There's no. Talk to you later, honey. See you tomorrow. It's I love you every. Every night before bed, every single phone call, she's got to say it. You gotta say it. You know, you're like the two generals turning the keys at the same time. I love you, Nikki. Yeah, I know. You told me yesterday. I believed you. Aren't you gonna say you love me? I did two hours ago. We have Alzheimer's. Write it down.

[A]

Nick Griffin, one the of classics, dead on. Thank you very much. We were talking about that. The phrase I love you. Yes, but we were also talking about having separate bedrooms. Yes, and code words. Or even having separate houses.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

This comes to us from Chris in Kentucky. He says me and my wife don't go to bed at the same time. I have to get up at 3am she doesn't have to get up till Sunday 7 on those nights she comes to, quote, tuck me in. That's our code word.

[C]

Oh, very nice.

[D]

Now, that's nice.

[A]

Can I tuck you in? There we go. That's a sweet, happy one.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

What was your code word again to painting the barn?

[G]

Yeah, you want to paint the barn later?

[A]

You want to paint the barn? Does he ever say, I'm a little out of paint?

[G]

No.

[C]

Really? Do you ever say, right now we just have red paint?

[A]

Yeah, I was gonna say that.

[D]

Yeah.

[G]

For weather reasons, we're gonna have to wait a week.

[C]

Okay, Be prepared. Now every live show we do, some creep. You want to go paint the barn, Jess?

[G]

Yeah. I can't say anything.

[D]

A new survey out there shows Gen Zers are prioritizing a good night's sleep over sex.

[A]

All right?

[D]

According to the pool of 2,000 young people conducted by Edu Birdie, 70% said quality sleep is more important than sexual max.

[A]

So it's Gen Z. Yeah. How come Gen Z is always getting all the publicity?

[D]

Maybe because they take the surveys. I don't know.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Seems like every week it's a Gen Z, sir. Now, this Gen Z is what?

[D]

Like, technically, I think it's up until, like, 30.

[C]

Maybe we ask this once a week. I'm gonna print it out.

[D]

Yes, we're have a charge because I

[C]

can't remember it either.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

So I know.

[G]

I'm Gen X. I'm Gen X. Jeff is.

[A]

Okay, here it is. Wait a minute.

[D]

I'm a baby boomer.

[A]

According to this, okay, Gen Z is born between 97 and 2012. So.

[D]

Yeah, so my kids are both Gen Z.

[A]

15 to 30 is.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, we've. But we've learned that sex is not terribly important to Gen Zers, so this makes sense.

[D]

The other things Gen Z put before sex include a stable job, 65% success, whatever. You want to define that at. At 60%.

[C]

Well, that is vague as anything.

[D]

I know, right? Friends, 50% alone time, 45% friends before sex. Yeah, that's weird. And hobbies. 40%.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Like, my friends, we all just understood if sex were ever an option. It doesn't matter.

[G]

What.

[A]

Yeah, no one was unsupportive in your case. It's your hobby.

[C]

Also.

[A]

That throws the whole survey off.

[C]

I mean, so what are you gonna do, huh? I'm just trying to add something.

[G]

There are times that my husband and I would prioritize sleep. Like we have nap dates. Like, hey, you want to meet for a nap date later? Like we.

[C]

And that's not a euphemism for anything.

[G]

No, it's not.

[F]

I heard you say that.

[B]

I thought that was code.

[G]

No, it's not. No, it's. It's just like. Hey, it's been a long week. Let's take a nap.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

40% of Gen Z said they've experimented sexually including role playing, but that seems normal.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

Hooking up in public. They apparently don't do that either.

[C]

Love it.

[D]

Do you like it? Oh, that's right. You do that.

[G]

He takes PDA to a whole nother level.

[D]

Remember he likes to have sex in the parking lot.

[B]

Dangerous sex.

[D]

Sexing at. Sexting at work and sharing explicit photos online. 20% of Gen Zers say they do that.

[C]

Boy, that's low. Yeah.

[E]

What?

[A]

Sexting from work you mean?

[C]

Or. Yeah, everything.

[D]

She just said we're sharing photos online. I thought that was the age group

[C]

that I mean, I guess they learned from. Yeah, the millennials. Hey, everybody can see everything.

[A]

Yeah. That's gonna cross your path again someday.

[D]

Well, this could help. Baby. A new breakthrough could finally unlock male birth control. Scientists at Michigan State University have uncovered the so called molecular switch.

[B]

Let me see that story.

[D]

That gives sperm the energy they need to dash to that egg and fertilize it. Baby. Researchers plan to continue investigating how sperm rely on different fuel sources in order to help develop a non hormonal birth control control for men.

[C]

Yeah. And this denies them those that fuel to get moving. Yeah.

[A]

So this gonna. They're not swimming.

[C]

Yeah. No, no.

[D]

They're just casually walking.

[C]

They're in the lazy river.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

They prescribe 15 minutes of the view that'll ruin any sperm.

[C]

I'm not gonna have you disparage one of the finer toes.

[D]

They're in trouble.

[C]

Just because they're women with opinions doesn't mean we have have to be upset

[E]

about or listen to them or watch.

[D]

If he was in trouble for the equal time law, they're being investigated by the fcc.

[C]

That's essentially that.

[A]

I thought the equal time got rid of that. I thought that went away.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I'm just telling you what I read. Did you not read that too?

[G]

I thought they were in trouble. I didn't read what the articles. What is. Can you tell me what it is?

[D]

Well, like if you're talking about Republicans, you got to talk about Democrats. You gotta talk.

[C]

Maybe for television it's. I know for radio it went away, but I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, I mean if you listen to

[C]

the AM radio, maybe TV's different, but

[D]

again, yeah, I don't know.

[C]

I mean that's fine, whatever, whatever. But my problem is you've got two stand up comedians on that panel. Who's just so cold. There's not a lot of humor. No 00 laughs like ladies have a good time every now and again.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean it's Joy Behar who I guarantee I. I've pat. Did you ever see her stand up?

[B]

She worked all the time in the east coast.

[E]

Very funny.

[C]

It was funny.

[B]

Real funny.

[C]

Okay. Yeah. I mean what happened be funny.

[G]

I always look.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Every now and again. Why not just have a. Why not have Nacho day on the View? You know what I mean?

[A]

Something a little lighter.

[D]

Jimmy Fallon.

[B]

Yeah. You can't have play some games.

[A]

Some jello wrestling.

[C]

Even the last 10 minutes of every whatever. Yeah. The jello wrestling.

[A]

Maybe they're still a little too old for that.

[D]

A four eared kitten is melting hearts all over the Internet.

[C]

I gotta look up a picture of this.

[D]

Owner Stephanie Brown told Newsweek she's currently fostering the seven month old kitten named Dobby who was born with a genetic mutation that causes him to have double ear flaps lapse. Delighted by his uniqueness, Ms. Brown shared photos of her kitten online where he quickly became a sensation. She told WVTM that this is. There is now a list of people hoping to adopt Dobby. Ms. Brown said the extra ears do not adversely affect the kitten and his hearing is normal. The newfound viral fame has helped Ms. Brown fund the dental surgery that Dobby needs. So apparently.

[A]

Do we have pictures?

[C]

Almost looks like a goat. Because it looks like two ears and then two little horns.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Coming out. Oh, it's pretty sweet.

[D]

There we go.

[C]

Oh, that's. I must be looking at a different four year cabinet but the same thing. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

Oh, that's scary.

[A]

Yeah. That one has like regular ears and then like little. Little, little ears kind of right in front of the ears.

[C]

Pretty sweet.

[B]

Looks like a gremlin.

[C]

Of course you're. It does double your Q tip budget so that's unfortunate.

[A]

Do they call people that wear hearing aids fore ears?

[C]

Oh man.

[A]

They call people with glasses.

[C]

What? That's funny. I don't know. Do they call you for you?

[A]

I don't know. This is fun. I know your cat can ignore you twice as much. That's the beauty of cute little fell.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I'm glad he's finding home.

[A]

I just saw a three legged dog the other day.

[C]

I love that this guy was.

[A]

This guy was doing great. Had no idea he was missing a leg.

[D]

Not they don't.

[C]

Animals are amazing. People are too. I mean but yeah. I just love it.

[A]

I see.

[E]

I've never seen a three legged person

[A]

well, to the gym. Well, thank you very much. Now, we've been talking about cars a lot lately and Christie's our car girl.

[D]

I was trying to count up how many cars I've owned. It's well over 20. Well over.

[A]

How many of them were manual transmissions?

[D]

1, 2, 3, 4. 4, 4.

[A]

Wow. Now, Jeffrey, you have a manual right now, don't you?

[E]

I do. Low five speed.

[A]

That's nice. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't had, I haven't had a manual transmission for a while. They're hard to get now.

[D]

They are very hard.

[A]

But in the world of great contemporary vehicles, Christy, currently driving the Hyundai.

[D]

Yes. And my Hyundai is an automatic. And it is so fun to drive and you will love it. The Hyundai Palisade hybrid has, has a 619 mile EPA estimated range. That is a lot of mileage. That's like almost 35 miles per gallon.

[A]

And their motto is no cleats on the seats because you can access that way back seat by walking between the rear seats. Because they're captain's chairs.

[D]

Yep. Seven passengers and they ride in comfort. It's a beautiful vehicle. You're going to love it. How do we find out more about the Hyundai Palisade?

[A]

Tommy, you go to HyundaiUSA.com or call 564-4603. Hyundai also, just by chance is having a special sales event. It is going on right now. Find out about the Hyundai Palisade and the rest of their great vehicles this week and check out some great values on the Hyundai line of vehicles right now. Hyundai USA.com for more information about the Palisade, et cetera, et cetera. We're coming right Back to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[I]

Got a comment to share? Text us at 888-8661. This is the Bob and Tom show.

[C]

Hi there. It's the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee's at the news desk.

[D]

Hi.

[C]

Receiving some correspondence. There's Pat Godwin.

[E]

Hello.

[C]

Next to Jess Hooker. Hello, Jess. I thought you had a cigar in your mouth just now.

[G]

I know. I can't help it. I just pretending like I was smoking this Slim Jim.

[C]

That's another code word. There's Jeff Oste Ace Cosby there. I'm Josh Arnold.

[A]

And there's Tom smoking a Slim Jim. Okay. Thank you very much.

[C]

Snap it to a Slim Jim.

[D]

I don't think I've ever had a Slim Jim. I've never had beef jerky in my life.

[A]

Is that what Slim Jims are no behind. Beef jerky is different than a slim. A Slim Jim.

[C]

Yeah, they are different.

[D]

Slim Jim.

[G]

A Slim jib is a beef stick, usually really processed.

[E]

It's like jerky with a lot of chemicals.

[D]

Ah, okay.

[C]

They're fantastic.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Beef stick injection.

[D]

Real salty.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, I'd love them then.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

To try one.

[A]

What was the thing we had yesterday about. Oh, I know what it was. It was a study that said that smoking marijuana will give one the munchies.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And they actually did a scientific study of this.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

And the number one snack that everybody went for was.

[G]

Was. What was it?

[D]

Beef jerky.

[A]

Beef jerky.

[C]

Which is really interesting to all of us because.

[D]

No.

[C]

We've all, at the very least been around really high people. And if you take them to a convenience store, they're not grabbing beef jerk.

[D]

No, they're not.

[A]

But when they did the study, they had all kinds of snacks there for them and.

[E]

Right.

[A]

The fact that they were immediately hungry wasn't a surprise. Right.

[D]

Well, by the way, they got to go low carb because they're eating all that food because they got the munch.

[E]

Well, another thing could be if they're providing the snacks, like beef jerky. If you're a stoner, that's way too. Exactly. It costs way too much.

[C]

You can spend as much as you want on beef jerky.

[E]

I can get like a huge bag of Doritos for 5 bucks or I can get 2 ounces of beef jerky for 37. So I go with the Doritos.

[C]

I was also wondering if that entered into the decision making of, oh, it's free. I'm taking the jerky.

[A]

This was a study by Washington State University and the University of California, Calgary. So apparently, if they're smoking that Canadian pot, by all accounts, that's apparently significantly stronger.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And do you. I know that you. You are imbiber and in the. In the. In the realm of cannabis is what is your go to snack? Chips or pretzels or.

[E]

Yeah, probably chips. Chips or. Or an everything bagel.

[G]

Do you have that symptom? Like, I know that there was a time where I was getting high regularly and I would weigh 500 pounds if I still smoked weed, because I immediately

[E]

want to eat not far away from it.

[C]

What. What chip do you go to first?

[E]

Dorito.

[C]

Yeah, like a nacho cheese.

[E]

Standard nacho cheese. Dorito.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Man, those are good. Good choice.

[C]

That's a perfect choice.

[G]

The highest thing I ever did was that, like I said, there would be times where I Planned on getting so high that I knew I wouldn't be able to finish making the food that I wanted to make. So I would start it. Started smoking, and then. Yeah, and then it.

[A]

That's how you get the Boy Scout merit badge. And pop. If you want to get that merit badge, the trick is you make the. Make the munchies prior to getting really stoned.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, preparation.

[G]

Yes, I. I did prepare a lot.

[A]

Your. Your chip. Your go to chip high or not would be what, Josh boy.

[C]

Doritos. Nacho cheese. That is way up there.

[G]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm also a pretzel guy.

[D]

Me, too.

[C]

Rods, dude, I love them all. If I. If I had to choose a favorite, it would be the. The pretzel chips. Like the flat.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[H]

Oh, okay.

[D]

Yeah, those are good.

[A]

Yeah, I love those.

[C]

Those are great.

[G]

I love the waffle pretzel.

[C]

I do, too. The Snyders of Hanover.

[G]

Yes.

[C]

They. They make. All of. Those are great.

[D]

You don't like a nice peanut butter or almond butter stuffed pretzel?

[C]

Oh, I like.

[B]

Those are good.

[C]

I like them, but, I don't know.

[D]

Nuggets.

[C]

Oh, yeah. I like a plain pretzel more.

[E]

What's your munchie there, Christy, when you get high?

[D]

I don't.

[E]

I mean, if you ever got high.

[D]

If I got high. I'm a big corn chip guy. Girl. Blue. I like the blue corn. Corn chips or tortilla chips. Yeah.

[A]

What do they call the grid Fries? French fries. Waffle fries. How do they make those?

[B]

With waffle batter?

[G]

No, it's a. It's a specific kind of cutter.

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

That you just slide them.

[A]

But, I mean, are those. Do they grind up the potatoes? Was like, for.

[C]

No, it is a kind of slicer.

[D]

It's just a slicer. And then they deep fry.

[C]

I can get you one if you want.

[A]

No, no, no, no. I don't approve of them.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[E]

I'm with you.

[D]

Is that too much? I don't care for.

[C]

I said something the other day that I hadn't realized, and when he said it, it was like, oh, yeah, you're exactly right about the waffle fry.

[D]

What'd you say?

[C]

How fast they get cold? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, properly through the middle.

[A]

It's the principle of the radiator.

[C]

Yeah, exactly, exactly. But they were. But they. They're great.

[A]

Christy. Looking at me like I'm crazy. The waffle fry has too much exposure to air.

[D]

Oh, I see.

[C]

So it is going to get colder faster. Oh, yeah.

[A]

And see, and I would always make the Argument. And the only one that agrees with me ON this is Ms. Hooker, that different pastas taste different.

[D]

That is a lie.

[A]

Different shapes.

[D]

None of us agree.

[C]

No, keep your dignity. Let him have the money.

[D]

None of us agree with you on that. All pasta is made with the same three ingredients the same way.

[A]

Pasta tastes different.

[D]

No, it tastes different with what you put on it.

[A]

No, a big fat pasta tastes different than, like, those little skinny ones because

[G]

of the texture and the amount of flour that you're getting in each bite.

[C]

Yes.

[G]

I could see where it would vary.

[A]

Thus, ergo, you agree.

[G]

No, I don't.

[A]

If you disagree, it'd be a jeer

[C]

that, you know, we.

[A]

No, but I. I don't like the waffle fries. I'm sorry.

[C]

It's okay.

[D]

I don't like fries either. I'm with you.

[A]

And I hate. And I hate steak fries. And Bob is the one that by. He made the best explanation for that. The steak fries. Too much potato.

[C]

Yeah, and I disagree on that, but, yeah.

[G]

There's a time and a place for a steak fry.

[C]

There's a time and a place for almost every.

[G]

When do you have the waffle fry?

[D]

One chick fil. A chick fil. A mistake is this.

[C]

I appreciate your opinion. I disagree. I respectfully disagree.

[E]

I don't mind if I get it in house. The waffle fry.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

But if you have it.

[A]

It's freezing.

[E]

It's rude.

[A]

Oh, they are cold. You know the radiator principle. I'm talking about.

[D]

Christy, I. I assume you're talking about heat in a radiator, but.

[A]

No, but if you. If you take. If you take. Ever see something on, like, a machine where they have some flange coming out that has all kinds of layers on it, and so the heat is dissipated very quickly because there are a lot of areas exposed to the metal surfaces? Okay, I'm trying to not to be too.

[D]

What the hell are you talking. We're talking.

[A]

It's a matter. It's physics.

[D]

Waffle fries.

[A]

Okay. It's the same principle, though.

[C]

Is this leading to a joke or just more boring?

[A]

No, no, this is leading to more boring. I would think that a discussion of French fries, you'd be riveted. I was.

[C]

And then you turned it into industrial steel. I was.

[A]

Was trying to explain. I was trying to explain physics to the girls.

[D]

I know how.

[C]

You may as well try to. You may as well explain driving a truck to a spider.

[A]

How come Octav. Or driving a truck to a woman. Now his feathers are.

[B]

Now his feathers are ruffled.

[D]

Over here, I will drive a semi up your ass.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

If anybody.

[D]

There's no way that you could out drive me. No way.

[C]

I believe it. I do too, for some reason. I also think Jess would take to a system semi quicker than the rest of us.

[A]

Okay. Sorry.

[D]

I did. We went to over there to the driving school. I loved semi. I didn't realize they had those seats

[G]

to jump on the hydraulics.

[A]

We were talking about. We'll change the subject here. I don't want Josh to be too bored. We were talking about contraception and apparently Michigan State University is on the way to developing the male contraceptive they're trying. Yeah, I discussed a little bit of this last week. I found a thing, the weirdest forms of contraception. This is from the BBC, the British Broadcasting Company. One of them I discussed last week was crocodile dung. The ancient Egyptians would shove crocodile dung quote up there to create a berry quote, a barrier quote that ejaculate could not cross.

[D]

Not gonna get near it.

[C]

Yeah, it's gonna work.

[G]

Yeah.

[A]

Doesn't that sound like a book? Well, I guess ejaculate could not cross.

[C]

It would not, could not cross the dun

[A]

Casanova. The famous Casanova was a fan of lemons.

[D]

Yeah, I've always heard that one where

[A]

a lemon half with the pulp removed was inserted.

[D]

It's like a diaphragm.

[C]

We're talking about a sour puss.

[A]

On that note, all is redeemed. You're forgiven. Thank you very much for joining us. We'd love to hear from you. Don't forget to email us about whatever's on your mind. What's your code word? Do you want to sleep in a separate room? What's happening in your your life? Please tell us. Bob and Tom. Bob and Tom.com. these are the beautiful O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. And this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[I]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe. This is the Bob and Tom Show. This isn't your average podcast.

[E]

Do you like party?

[A]

I do like a huge chug of tequila.

[E]

The howler head whiskey bottle chug in

[D]

front of Dana White.

[A]

That was the first time we ever went to la. We somehow got into a biddy party. What's the Elon Musk house party look like? My party's generally a very high production value.

[I]

This is full send.

[A]

I do want to do a lot more pranks.

[D]

Bunch of different pranks.

[A]

Join the party.

[D]

Jack Doherty in the house.

[A]

Feeling good, man. What are we going to talk about with Will Smith?

[I]

I know what you're going to say.

[A]

Shout out to Theo Von it's been entertaining, dude. The full send podcast got the boys. Grab the P.S. let's do it.

[I]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform.