The BOB & TOM Show - January 1, 2026

Summary

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The BOB & TOM Show – January 1, 2026

Overview

This special New Year’s Day episode of The BOB & TOM Show delivers the show’s trademark blend of irreverent comedy, banter, music, news, and sports. The hosts—Tom Griswold, Bob Kevoian, Christy Lee, Josh Arnold, and regulars like Allie Breen and Pat Godwin—riff on New Year's Eve debauchery, Tom's adventures in Colorado, strange sports, the culture of skiing, modern slang, online dating, baby names, swearing parrots, orgy domes, alarm clock habits, and plenty more. The second half brings classic segments like "Sexy Time" with Allie Breen and "News We Failed to Mention" with Jeff Oskay, with detours into yodeling, jazz for cows, pet behavior, and offbeat listener letters. Expect quick-witted back-and-forths, comedic songs, and a dose of off-color, playful humor in keeping with the show's longstanding tradition.

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Main Segments & Key Discussion Points

1. New Year, New Hijinks: Parody Songs & Storytelling

• New Year’s Song Parody (00:49–03:08): The show kicks off with the whole gang improvising a bawdy parody of “Same Old Lang Syne,” depicting a tipsy, bittersweet New Year’s Eve reunion in a grocery store parking lot ("She puked and passed out in her car, so we decided, hey, let's leave." – Josh Arnold, 01:55).
• Return from the Holidays: The hosts catch up, ribbing Tom about his "adventurous" Colorado ski trip meals (pancakes, sushi). Bob jabs:

  "Did you have a great dinner? Anything jumps to mind?" – Bob (03:57) "Some pancakes, chicken noodle soup...some sushi." – Tom (04:08)

• Tom’s Sushi Experience: Tom colorfully describes a serious sushi chef ("This guy's got the whole samurai suit on...I can't wait for a chunk of his thumb to come off. This guy was great." – Tom, 04:49). Hilarity ensues as the group debates proper sushi bar etiquette, including chopstick holders and uniforms.

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Notable Quotes

“I was sitting right there in front of the guy…he had the whole suit on…every sushi restaurant so far, it sounds like every…” – Bob (04:27) “I can’t wait for a chunk of his thumb to come off. This guy was great.” – Tom (04:49)

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2. Skiing Oddities & Strange Sports (06:01–11:40)

• Tom introduces "ski joring," a wild Scandinavian sport involving skiers pulled by horses (or dogs, cars) at high speeds through courses studded with obstacles and hoops, prompting the group to riff about horse and snowboard accidents and whether reindeer "really exist."

  "They tow skiers by rope at speeds that can top 40 miles an hour." – Christy (07:31)

• History lessons mix with classic Bob & Tom banter and a debate over the pronunciation and origins of ski joring/skewering.
• Location color: "Leadville...Altitude 10,158 ft. Population under 3,000. But it’s cold there." – Tom (09:57)
• Comedy detour: Reindeer mythology, and why weird sports don’t make it to the Olympics.

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3. Sports, Slang & Online Dating (13:18–22:20)

• Confused sports lingo: The crew debates new terms like “70-piece” (70 points scored), “tuddies” (touchdowns), “nugs” (nuggets and marijuana), lampooning generational code words.

  “You don’t like tutty?...Everybody says tuddies who knows anything in the National Football League.” – Bob (13:40–15:45)

• Bathroom gadgetry: The comedians riff on phone usage and gaming in the bathroom (Bob’s “handheld game” for toilet use).
• Fast Food Mixology: Debate mixing favorite menu items via food delivery apps (“Double Dash”).
• Online Dating Study: Christy reports a study that online daters are perceived as “desperate” even among others who use dating apps.

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Notable Quotes

"I think they added that those who use online methods to find a partner are perceived to be at least somewhat deviant and undesirable." – Christy (19:36)

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4. Baby Names Going Extinct (22:42–26:47)

• Christy lists trending-down baby names (Michelle, Amanda, MacKenzie, Julius) and speculates on culture’s fickle relationship with names like Reagan, Brooklyn, Jaden, Blake, Karen, Judas, etc.

  "I would also think...you're probably not going to see Alexa and Siri...Karen...Judas has been out of favor for a while." – Tom (25:53)

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5. Parrots That Swear & Odd Crimes (27:02–31:05)

• A wildlife park’s efforts to curb a flock of foul-mouthed parrots (by re-integrating them with non-swearing parrots—"However, he admitted, or we could end up with 100 swearing parrots on our hands." – Christy, 27:59).
• Cops bust a woman with $2,500 in stolen Stanley cups (the viral reusable bottles), prompting nostalgic banter about old-school green Stanley thermoses.

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6. Yodeling, Jazz for Cows, & Burning Man Mishaps (31:56–41:41)

• Jessica’s Softball Throwback: Details how pitching and hitting matchups work in women’s college softball ("I've thrown a no-hitter." – Jessica, 32:50).
• Massive Dust Storm (“Haboob”): Christy and Josh recall Arizona sandstorms that halt travel; hilarity over meteorological terminology and its juvenile appeal.
• Burning Man Orgy Dome Destroyed: Gales (a "haboob") destroy the festival’s Orgy Dome, leading to risqué jokes about Burning Man’s “peace, love, and...orgy domes.” Quotes:

  "So the folks that went to Burning Man for the sex now have no choice but to do it in their own camp." – Tom (37:01) “It does look like a nice place...they have a purple wood motif.” – Bob (36:23)

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7. Getting Up, Dream Recurrence, Alarms & Sleep Habits (42:30–47:02)

• Morning routines: Tom and Josh discuss waking before alarms, recapturing dreams mid-wake, and whom they wake (or don't) when leaving for work.
• "What noise does your alarm make?" sparks a tangent on phone alarm PTSD.
• Traffic rant: Phones blamed for left-turn lane delays.

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8. Odd College Football Names & Cultural Naming Traditions (48:32–51:09)

• Tom and Bob trade favorite outrageous real-life football names (e.g., "Demon Clowney," "Crafanzo Thorpe," "Barkevious Mingo"), riffing on the poetry and comedy of sports nomenclature.
• Discussion of Catholic confirmation names and cultural naming customs.

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9. "Sexy Time" with Allie Breen: Advice, Mishaps, and Sex Toys (56:11–71:59)

• Allie Breen fields listener “love trouble” questions, with the crew dispensing comic (usually bad) advice. Topics include:
  • Dating a friend who allegedly sabotaged your prior relationship.
  • Kissing your wife's sister on New Year's.
  • Girlfriends who only want to use sex toys.
  • Boyfriends obsessed with OnlyFans and strip clubs.
• Notable quote: "Just pack your bag. Quit your job." – Bob (61:22), to the guy who kissed his wife’s sister.
• Tom’s PSA: Don’t “MacGyver” sex toys using power tools (“They attached a dildo to a Sawzall, and the adhesive failed—instant episiotomy.” – Tom, 65:01)

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10. Listener Letters, Wacky Vehicles & Jazz for Cows (74:11–79:47)

• Letters about car oddities: The L.L. Bean “Bootmobile,” the Wienermobile, and “banana mobile” inspire a dream of a giant novelty vehicle race.
• Iceland gets its first mosquitoes; jazz bands play for cows (“According to the BBC, the Smith Hills Open Farm hired local band the Dickens Sexy Beets to play for their dairy cows.” – Christy, 77:21).
• Groan-worthy “cow music” puns ensue (“Live at Herdland.” – Tom, 78:13)

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11. Pet News: Rabbit with Crocheted Ears & Bar-hopping Bears (79:20–81:41)

• A bunny born earless is given a crocheted pair (“So he could experience what it was like having ears, too.” – Christy, 79:55).
• A bear wanders into a Montana distillery, inspiring improvised “bear run” songs and bear puns.

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12. House Guests, Hospitality, and Tampon Analogies (88:01–91:43)

• Survey on house guests: How long is too long? ("House guests are like tampons. You shouldn't be using one for more than six days a month." – Tom, 90:22)

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13. "Failed to Mention News" with Jeff Oskay (140:59–144:55)

• Jeff Oskay delivers a run of news briefs with satirical “what you failed to mention” punchlines—dog eats $4,000 in cash, AI dog door, marijuana and working out, the town of "Poopinot," and more.

  “A man was arrested for taping fish to ATMs...What you failed to mention? Hey, carpe diem.” – Jeff (143:34)

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14. More Absurd News: Stolen Radio Towers & Pythons (148:22–164:33)

• Alabama radio station loses a 200-foot radio tower to thieves (“How the heck did that happen?” – Jessica, 148:28).
• 23-foot python swallows a woman whole in Indonesia, sparking jokes about vegetable gardens in snake country.

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15. Christy’s Weird Airbnb: Gyno Chairs as Decor (158:09–161:42)

• Tom needles Christy about her upcoming doctor’s appointment.
• Christy recounts a friend’s Airbnb full of antique medical equipment, including an actual gynecological table with stirrups in the living room.

  "You may have been staying at a lunatic’s house.” – Josh (160:39)

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16. Classic Bob & Tom: Musical Parodies, Songs, and Callers

• Songs: “Ohio-Iowa-Ohio-Highway,” “Drunken Uncle,” “Smoky Uncle,” and “Vocabulary Builder Upper” infomercial parody.
• Skilled yodeling, death metal Miss Chile, and the famous "George" name song.
• A call from regular listener Floyd offers homespun advice for Christy’s “trouble.”
• Classic Lord-of-the-banality ending: Floyd recommends “warm bath of Nips and Salts" for Christy’s “coach flute” (sinus issues) (162:31).

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Notable Quotes and Moments by Timestamp

01:55 – "Then she puked and passed out in her car, so we decided, hey, let's leave." – Josh Arnold

04:49 – "I kept...he's taking these hunks of fish and making these razor thin cuts. I can't wait for a chunk of his thumb to come off. This guy was great." – Tom Griswold

13:40 – "Instead of points, you say piece. You don’t like tutty? It’s way in." – Bob Kevoian

19:36 – "Those who use online methods to find a partner are perceived to be at least somewhat deviant and undesirable.” – Christy Lee

25:53 – "I would also think that names you’re probably not going to see much anymore…Alexa and Siri…Karen…Judas has been out of favor for a while." – Tom

27:59 – “However, he admitted, or we could end up with 100 swearing parrots on our hands.” – Christy Lee

37:01 – “So the folks that went to Burning Man for the sex now have no choice but to do it in their own camp.” – Tom Griswold

42:55 – “I’m unbelievably busy.” – Tom Griswold
“Busy with saying you’re busy.” – Bob Kevoian

61:22 – "Just pack your bag. Quit your job." – Bob Kevoian to a listener in a love triangle

65:01 – "They attached a dildo-esqe dildo to it [Sawzall]...the adhesive failed—instant episiotomy." – Tom Griswold

78:13 – "Live at Herdland." (jazz for cows) – Tom Griswold

90:22 – "House guests are like tampons. You shouldn't be using one for more than six days a month." – Tom Griswold

143:34 – "A man was arrested for taping fish to ATMs...what you failed to mention: Hey, carpe diem." – Jeff Oskay

158:00 – “This is a song called ‘Taint Misbehaving,’ about detailing someone's taint with a toothbrush and a Q-tip.” – Tom Griswold

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Additional Memorable Moments

• Tom’s fastidiousness: Tom’s neurotic routines (sleep, mouthwash, alarm sounds) and general bafflement at modern trends (slang, apps, pet names).
• Sex advice detours: Chuckle-worthy moments on “Sexy Time,” including stories about OnlyFans, decked-out sex toy collections, and a cautionary tale about homemade power tool sex machines.
• Running joke: Disdain and confusion about generational slang for sports and marijuana.
• Haboob: The glee over using the word “haboob” for dust storms.
• Listener interaction: Letters provoke bizarre yet familiar tangents about wacky cars, radio towers, animal hijinks, and more.
• Absurdity as foundation: Throughout the episode, even the ordinary is laced with deadpan absurdity—the sort of slightly naughty, "dad in a bar" energy that defines The BOB & TOM Show.

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For First-Time Listeners

You’ll find:

• Roasting of each other is frequent and affectionate.
• The tone stays light, self-deprecating, and droll—even when treading into risqué territory.
• No segment sticks around too long: the pace is fast, with constant pivots between topics and media (songs, letters, news, and ad parodies).
• Even recurring segments like "Sexy Time" take on a farcical slant far removed from standard radio fare.

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Segment Timestamps (highlights):

• 00:49 – Opening Song Parody: "Same Old Lang Syne"
• 06:03 – Ski-Joring and Skiing Oddities
• 13:18 – Modern Sports Slang, Tutty/Nugs
• 19:36 – Online Dating and Desperation Study
• 22:42 – Extinct Baby Names
• 27:02 – The Swearing Parrots Saga
• 31:56 – Jessica's Softball Pitching/Arizona Dust Storms
• 37:01 – Burning Man Orgy Dome Destroyed
• 42:30 – Alarm Clocks, Dream Recursion, Peeing At Night
• 48:32 – College Football Names and Cultural Traditions
• 56:11 – "Sexy Time" with Allie Breen
• 74:11 – Listener Letters: Bootmobile, Odd Vehicles, Cow Jazz
• 77:19 – Cows Treated to Jazz Concert
• 79:20 – The Earless Rabbit Gets Crocheted Ears
• 81:16 – Bears Visit Bars
• 88:01 – Hospitality Survey & Houseguest Analogies
• 140:59 – "News We Failed to Mention" with Jeff Oskay
• 148:22 – Stolen Radio Towers & More Oddities
• 158:09 – Christy’s Gynecology-Themed Airbnb Adventure
• 162:25 – Call from Floyd, Advice for Christy

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Final Remarks

This episode is a perfect primer for newcomers and a treat for longtime listeners: brimming with quick-fire jokes, musical bits, tangential riffs, absurdist news, risqué advice, and the unique camaraderie at the heart of The BOB & TOM Show.

Transcript

[Tom Griswold]

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[Bob Kevoian]

It's the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christy Lee]

Met our old lover at the grocery store.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't think she was wearing a bra the way she jiggled in the produce line. Those were the best melons we saw.

[Christy Lee]

She didn't recognize our faces at first.

[Tom Griswold]

Cause she was staring at our.

[Josh Arnold]

She asked us if we'd like to have a drink. We said, fine, we'll meet at 6. Sick we to have ourselves a drink or two. But couldn't find an open bar.

[Pat Godwin]

Got some malt liquor at the package.

[Tom Griswold]

Store and we did it in her car.

[Christy Lee]

We drank a toast. Two days gone by.

[Josh Arnold]

Drank a toast to New Year's Eve.

[Tom Griswold]

Then she puked and passed out in her car.

[Josh Arnold]

So we decided, hey, let's leave.

[Christy Lee]

The beer was empty.

[Tom Griswold]

Our tongues was tired.

[Josh Arnold]

Sunny really had to go.

[Tom Griswold]

We wanted her to have our phone.

[Josh Arnold]

Number so Sunny wrote it in the snow.

[Tom Griswold]

Just for a moment we were both alone.

[Josh Arnold]

And felt that old familiar pain.

[Tom Griswold]

Just then the babe came to and.

[Christy Lee]

Gave us a wink.

[Tom Griswold]

So we both climbed in again.

[Josh Arnold]

Happy New Year, Sunny.

[Tom Griswold]

Happy New Year, Nick.

[Allie Breen]

And Happy New Year to that babe in the Pinto.

[Tom Griswold]

Whatever your name might have been. Our phone number's right behind your bumper.

[Josh Arnold]

Written in the snow.

[Tom Griswold]

Give us a call sometime.

[Christy Lee]

Good morning. Hello.

[Bob Kevoian]

From coast to coast, it's the Bob and Tom Show. Many portions of the upcoming program have been pre recorded. Meaning they've already happened and they're about to happen again. So where was I?

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, we're glad to have you here. It's the Bob and Tom Show. Tom back in the saddle. Fresh from the slopes.

[Tom Griswold]

Little Colorado ski time.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's right. Did you have a great dinner? Yeah. Anything jumps to mind. Piece of meat, hunk of meat, Maybe some elk, caribou there in the mountains.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's see, I had some pancakes, chicken noodle soup one night and let's see, some sushi. That's about it.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, you know, you know how to party, don't you?

[Bob Kevoian]

You know how to live, don't you?

[Tom Griswold]

I was busy.

[Bob Kevoian]

I think you might I think you might eat less than. Christy just had a.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, went to this, a very serious sushi place, though.

[Christy Lee]

Very, very serious. How does it get very serious?

[Tom Griswold]

So I was sitting right there in front of the guy.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Sushi restaurant.

[Tom Griswold]

No, but. I know, but I mean, I'm right there. It's like at the bar.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, of course.

[Tom Griswold]

And this guy had the whole suit on and the whole deal, and he's the whole.

[Bob Kevoian]

Every sushi restaurant so far, it sounds like every.

[Tom Griswold]

I kept is. And he's taking these hunks of fish and he's making these razor thin cuts. I can't wait for a chunk of his thumb to come off. This guy was great.

[Josh Arnold]

Skilled. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And this guy. This guy, is he. I don't think he speaks any English.

[Christy Lee]

So did you think.

[Josh Arnold]

You would think that restaurant that you.

[Christy Lee]

Go to, they cut it up in the back and then bring it out to you. The chefs are always out front.

[Tom Griswold]

No, but I mean, I'm sitting right there, though, and this guy comes in.

[Bob Kevoian]

And he's sitting right there.

[Josh Arnold]

This.

[Tom Griswold]

This is a famous place. And then he. This guy bows and says something to you in Japanese.

[Bob Kevoian]

What is it? Nobu?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. No, it's a different one.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

I think it was called bufu.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, a lot of.

[Tom Griswold]

A lot of excuse.

[Josh Arnold]

You get the check and you go, boy, I feel like I've been boofed.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the truth. But it was good. Yeah, I'm doing some all protein stuff, so it's great. Skiing was great.

[Josh Arnold]

That's great.

[Tom Griswold]

Can't be good. And I got really badly sunburnt. I'm sorry.

[Christy Lee]

That's okay. I just.

[Bob Kevoian]

On the sun, I think you look fine. Great with color. I think you should do that more often.

[Tom Griswold]

I've got kind of a raccoon thing going.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, I don't know about that. You look fine.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, good. Well, thank you.

[Allie Breen]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Had a great time.

[Bob Kevoian]

You look fine.

[Tom Griswold]

Speaking of skiing, we have skiing in.

[Josh Arnold]

The sports kind of skiing in the sports.

[Bob Kevoian]

Skiing. Not just any skiing, Josh. Colorado Towns and now Tom. Tom Sports. Yes, just for Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I mean, we could hear about some assistant coach in the NFL and.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, that would be too far, too boring. Having something to do with.

[Tom Griswold]

Too common.

[Bob Kevoian]

I never heard of it.

[Tom Griswold]

ESPN changing its name to NFL Colorado.

[Bob Kevoian]

Town celebrated unusual sport called. You go ahead and do this, because I don't know what they want.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I believe this is a Scandinavian ski yoring. I think it. The J is probably silent. Ski oring.

[Bob Kevoian]

Ski Oring.

[Tom Griswold]

But it looks like ski joring with ski yoring.

[Bob Kevoian]

It combines skiing with the rodeo.

[Josh Arnold]

The rodeo.

[Bob Kevoian]

Try to put a ski on a horse. It's not easy.

[Christy Lee]

You ever tried riding?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no. The ski. The skis racing. And it's the boots that are a.

[Christy Lee]

They have to ride a horse with skis.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's. This is. Goes back more than 100 years.

[Bob Kevoian]

Competitions involve horses. Why have. Now, this is something none of us has ever heard of.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Competitions involve horses and sometimes dogs, snowmobiles, or even cars. All right, that sounds like a reputable competition. They tow skiers by rope at speeds that can top 40 miles an hour.

[Tom Griswold]

So imagine it's sort of like water skiing over. Except you're behind a horse as high as eight feet.

[Josh Arnold]

Behind a horse. Okay. Or a car, it sounds like. Or a snowmobile.

[Tom Griswold]

The horse is tougher, though, because if the horse, you know, stops, I.

[Josh Arnold]

Sure, yeah. Yeah. Well, defecates.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. You got to.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah. There you go.

[Josh Arnold]

You got.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello.

[Bob Kevoian]

Move.

[Tom Griswold]

Right, Hans.

[Bob Kevoian]

Skiers also maneuver around obstacles.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, he forgot his goggles. That's a bad day.

[Bob Kevoian]

They do. So you got poop in his face.

[Tom Griswold]

That's why. That's why.

[Bob Kevoian]

That would be funny.

[Tom Griswold]

I'd like to have one where you could lasso snowboarders. Take them down.

[Bob Kevoian]

Did you have any of those this weekend? Did you see any?

[Tom Griswold]

Of course, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Usually. Usually as they're running into skiers.

[Bob Kevoian]

I thought you. You went places where they. They didn't allow.

[Tom Griswold]

I'd love to see that, though.

[Bob Kevoian]

Skiers also maneuver around obstacles. They try to lance suspended hoops with a baton. Typically a ski pole that's cut in half, though. Competitions have a long history in Colorado towns, huh? Like, I believe it's Leadville.

[Tom Griswold]

Leadville.

[Bob Kevoian]

It is Leadville.

[Tom Griswold]

Leadville.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

It is very cold there.

[Bob Kevoian]

From the. Things you find interesting, it is derived from the Norwegian word skewering, meaning skydiving. It has nothing to do with that either.

[Josh Arnold]

Baffling story.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, it really. It really is. What a mess. This story is skoring. They used to do it behind reindeer. It says.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that's not skydiving. It's The Norwegian word means ski driving.

[Bob Kevoian]

Ski driving.

[Tom Griswold]

You can see why that it would.

[Josh Arnold]

Now that makes sense. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, that makes sense. Out of nothing else. Reindeer are. They don't really exist. They're just for Santa. Reindeer.

[Christy Lee]

Reindeer exists?

[Bob Kevoian]

No, I don't think so. Made its debut in Stockholm. Looking it up at the Nordic. Nordic Games of 1901.

[Tom Griswold]

1901 checks right.

[Josh Arnold]

They do not exist.

[Bob Kevoian]

Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

They don't have that at the Winter Games anymore.

[Josh Arnold]

Skewering? No, they don't.

[Tom Griswold]

Be kind of cool. I think I'd watch it be fun. Leadville, by the way. Altitude 10,158ft. Population under 3,000. But it's cold there.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is that right? Thank you, Tom. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Generally it's cold where people ski.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do you realize no one is interested in this but you? You know that?

[Tom Griswold]

How cool would it be to see some guy skiing behind a horse?

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, Bob and Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

And by the way, why didn't they call it Scodio? Wouldn't that be better?

[Josh Arnold]

I like the word combination.

[Tom Griswold]

Skiing and rodeo.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Dear Bob and Tom. Hey, you guys, you just don't get it. It's not like any other sushi restaurant. Tom, all caps, was sitting right there. You guys don't get it.

[Christy Lee]

Honestly.

[Josh Arnold]

Thank you. In Tom's defense, when you guys go to sushi restaurants, are you always sitting at the bar?

[Christy Lee]

I usually only sit at the bar if I'm by myself.

[Tom Griswold]

The place I go, there's only four seats at the bar. I never sit there. But I'm just saying, the guy was right there. And this guy was. This guy's. This guy's got the. This guy's got the whole samurai suit on.

[Josh Arnold]

That was our defense.

[Bob Kevoian]

So there are only four seats at the bar, but there are tables.

[Jessica Alsman]

Right.

[Bob Kevoian]

And what do you think is a samurai suit?

[Jessica Alsman]

And.

[Christy Lee]

And when you're sitting at a table at that sushi restaurant, do you not see the chef?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but I'm not. I'm not a foot and a half away from this guy with the machete about to cut his thumb off. AC's got a whole. Looks like he's. He's about to enter the ring. He's got the Thai belt and the special hat on.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. They always have some kind of uniform.

[Bob Kevoian]

Could you see his eyes? Could you see his whole face? If you can see his whole face, it's not a samurai.

[Josh Arnold]

Did he give you a sample piece of anything? Oftentimes they will.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Christy Lee]

Or they'll give you a special treat.

[Josh Arnold]

For sitting in there, kind of working on or.

[Tom Griswold]

Really? They got a really cool little tiny sculpture look, a little, like, about, like about an inch and a half high. What's this thing for? You know what?

[Josh Arnold]

It's for you.

[Tom Griswold]

Layers. You lay your sticks on.

[Christy Lee]

Sure.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. You're not.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

It's very disrespectful to put chopsticks on the table.

[Bob Kevoian]

I didn't know this.

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't. I didn't know any of this stuff.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah, those things are cool. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I wasn't there very well.

[Christy Lee]

You don't have your. You don't have a favorite sushi shop. Mine is Tanaka san. I love them.

[Josh Arnold]

Now. Now we're on the other side.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now we're in the pretentious minutiae.

[Josh Arnold]

You don't have a favorite sushi chef? No, I don't.

[Christopher]

Oh. Happy new year and welcome to the Bob and Tom show here on a Thursday. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Coming up today, Allie Breen, Jessica Alsman yodeling and scatting and news we failed to mention with Jeff Oskay. But coming up next on this Thursday morning, football terms and online dating. Come on back to that here on.

[Bob Kevoian]

The Bob and Tom Show.

[Christopher]

Welcome back to the best of the Bob and Tom show here on a Thursday in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs, get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Here's a segment about football terms and online dating coming up.

[Tom Griswold]

What have you got over there?

[Bob Kevoian]

We got sports. We got. We got the NBA. We got one guy with 70 piece last night. That's what the kids call it. Whoa. And then we had a guy with a 62 piece last night.

[Christy Lee]

They play any defense anymore?

[Bob Kevoian]

Now watch. Wait a minute.

[Christopher]

Hold on.

[Bob Kevoian]

I did that purposely. I'm just going to sit back and let him digest the term piece.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

That's better than 50 burger, I guess.

[Bob Kevoian]

What about you don't like 50 burger, you don't like 70, 62 piece? Whatever you want to call. Instead of points, you say peace. You don't like tutty? I don't study touchdown. Oh, yeah, three tutties you don't like.

[Christy Lee]

I never heard that.

[Bob Kevoian]

Tutties. It's. Oh, man, it's way in. It's way in. Daddy, you're missing it. If you're not saying tutty instead of.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not. I think you are not acknowledging you're.

[Bob Kevoian]

So far out of it you don't even know you're done.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. All right.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Toddy. Jesus.

[Christy Lee]

You know what he's gonna say. It sounds like.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, what? Like Teddy Todd, the famous mascot from.

[Bob Kevoian]

It'S only missing R for the turdy. How about call it a turkey?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. I'm sorry. Well, yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Had you ever heard peace before for points?

[Tom Griswold]

I have not.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Is it P, E, A C E or no?

[Bob Kevoian]

It's like a piece of pie.

[Josh Arnold]

Like a 12 piece bucket.

[Bob Kevoian]

Exactly. Or like nugs. 20 piece.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, whatever.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I defer to Christmas.

[Bob Kevoian]

I suppose you still say nuggets instead of nugs. Man, you're out of it.

[Tom Griswold]

Nugs.

[Bob Kevoian]

Nugs. Not nuts. Nugs.

[Tom Griswold]

Nugs.

[Josh Arnold]

Nugs can also be a marijuana term.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah, yeah, good. Nugs of tasty nuggets. Yeah, that's true.

[Tom Griswold]

This code language, it's getting so confusing.

[Josh Arnold]

Just code what it is.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

How would you like to get high with some marijuana?

[Tom Griswold]

You have another reason not to take your phone into the toilet?

[Bob Kevoian]

I don't think I could.

[Christy Lee]

I could do that without going to the. You can't go to the bathroom without your phone?

[Bob Kevoian]

I don't think so. Well, actually, I have a handheld game that I use in. Specifically designated for the bathroom.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Oh. Do you score any. Do you score any Tuds?

[Bob Kevoian]

It's Nuggs and Tuddy, not nuggie and Tuds.

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry, no. Who says tuddies?

[Bob Kevoian]

Everybody says tuddies. Who. Who knows anything in the National Football League.

[Josh Arnold]

I think there's a product out there called Teddies.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I hope it's an ass wiper or something. But I. I'm sorry.

[Bob Kevoian]

Although we were the first to come up with Teddy Todd, the wastewater treatment plant mascot.

[Christy Lee]

Mascot, yes, we were.

[Bob Kevoian]

That is.

[Tom Griswold]

They got a big suit and.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, I.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, I'm just getting myself sorted out over here, so.

[Christy Lee]

Do you have a bad day?

[Tom Griswold]

No, I'm just unbelievably busy.

[Bob Kevoian]

But he's not. He's not busy. I'm sorry. He's not. I'm. I'm blowing the lid off this, son. I'm telling you, he likes to say he's busy. He loves that. That's what you're busy with saying you're busy. I'm not speaking to you.

[Christy Lee]

The official Teddy fact sheet explains Teddy is a slang football term. The abbreviation of Touchdown td. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Used by everybody cool. And by the way, speaking of everybody cool, they put up a video yesterday of our boy Josh Arnold losing his mind during Greg Warren's report yesterday.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah?

[Bob Kevoian]

About the term or the fact evidently, that people are taking Cheddar bay biscuits from Red Lobster over to Chick Fil A and taking the. And making a new brand new sandwich. That was when you're in traffic and you look up, go. Come on. That to me, bra.

[Josh Arnold]

Very, very. We had fun. We got to eat a lot.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm a big fan. Of mixing.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes, go on.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no. Of the races. Primarily dating. No, no. I. Of fast food places.

[Christy Lee]

Yes. Like getting Your French fries one place, burger another.

[Tom Griswold]

Just depends on the mood you're in.

[Christy Lee]

Okay, there.

[Tom Griswold]

Felt like a whopper. But you really wanted some of those McDonald's french fries.

[Bob Kevoian]

See, that's the glory. The glory of the food delivery places is that you can double. Like, for instance, doordash. You double dash. You can double dash. You can order a burger from, let's say, Wendy's. And French fries, let's say from a.

[Christy Lee]

Day you got two people driving to your house.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. We're not spoiled because you don't know.

[Bob Kevoian]

Because I'm a king.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, that's right.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm having food delivered now.

[Tom Griswold]

We got into a lengthy discussion about Red Lobster.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, it's good.

[Tom Griswold]

Josh, you are a member?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, I am. I not only received the Fresh Catch, the. The weekly Red Lobster newsletter, but I also am a member of the club. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And then you have property at Cheddar Bay, is that correct? I do condo.

[Josh Arnold]

No, it's an actual lake house.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, nice.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good, very good, very good.

[Josh Arnold]

Now, I bought in early.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

Well, we have another online dating story we didn't get to yesterday.

[Tom Griswold]

What's that?

[Christy Lee]

Well, researchers say people who use online dating methods may come off as desperate to those who do not to try to meet people online.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's nothing wrong with desperation. We all get desperate.

[Pat Godwin]

I kind of agree with you.

[Christy Lee]

Participants completed a survey rating their impressions of the average user of eight different dating methods.

[Bob Kevoian]

Isn't that at the start of Must have Got Lost by Jay?

[Josh Arnold]

God.

[Bob Kevoian]

We all. We all get desperate at our time. You know, we all get death wit.

[Christy Lee]

Researchers said they were surprised to find that daters who use online methods continue to be regarded with suspicion and some disdain, even by individuals with experience using these methods.

[Tom Griswold]

Huh.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay, I missed something in the story.

[Tom Griswold]

So the story is saying if you're on a. On a dating website, it means you're. There must be something wrong with you. You can't get a date the normal way.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. You're perceived that way by other people.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm surprised that's still a stigma.

[Christy Lee]

I know, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

I think they added that those who use online methods to find a partner are perceived to be at least somewhat deviant and undesirable.

[Josh Arnold]

By who?

[Tom Griswold]

The people.

[Christy Lee]

By the people who don't use your websites.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the thing.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, yeah, I don't feel that way. And, I mean, I don't. Obviously, I'm not using one, but I.

[Christy Lee]

Know lots of people that have met online.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I married a Couple. I was. I was the officiant at a wedding.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, see?

[Tom Griswold]

Met on Bumble. They're still.

[Bob Kevoian]

Doesn't sound like clumsy people in love.

[Christy Lee]

Bumble.

[Tom Griswold]

Whoops.

[Christy Lee]

Fell into that relationship.

[Josh Arnold]

Spilled a soda on me and I knew that.

[Tom Griswold]

Then all of a sudden, butt stuff. He said it was an accident. I kind of liked He.

[Bob Kevoian]

He's on the butt stuff.

[Josh Arnold]

Discovered.

[Tom Griswold]

You knew that a Fresca was a good lube.

[Josh Arnold]

I would have never guessed Effervescent.

[Bob Kevoian]

Fresca, huh?

[Tom Griswold]

Now, are there porn apps, Josh?

[Christy Lee]

Porn?

[Josh Arnold]

What are you.

[Christy Lee]

You mean like pornhub?

[Josh Arnold]

I don't. You know, I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

That's like a website.

[Bob Kevoian]

You mean a subtle distinction between a site or an app?

[Josh Arnold]

Because even OnlyFans isn't an app. I don't know what it isn't. No, I don't know. What if there is a porn app or not. I mean.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I could look it up.

[Bob Kevoian]

I think a lot of the apps every now and then turn into porn.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Just curious. Well, let's move forward.

[Christy Lee]

I like your song that on your phone, you. Somebody's. You're sitting there and you open up and there's the big porn app.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know. I mean, I'm just asking. I don't obviously have one. I was just curious if that was a thing.

[Josh Arnold]

Maybe that's why it isn't.

[Tom Griswold]

It's right, because I'm learning about all kinds of new things. Like tuddies. That chick is insisting is.

[Bob Kevoian]

And peace. Instead of points, people say peace 770 piece.

[Tom Griswold]

I think that makes them cool.

[Josh Arnold]

It's like.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, I. I don't think it makes him cool, but it makes you old and crabby if you say things.

[Josh Arnold]

It sounded like it makes you cool. It sounded like he caught you smoking.

[Bob Kevoian]

I know.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, you think this makes you cool?

[Tom Griswold]

How many.

[Josh Arnold]

How many.

[Tom Griswold]

How many tuddies?

[Allie Breen]

That's right.

[Josh Arnold]

I know what's cool, Mr.

[Bob Kevoian]

I was cool before cool was cool.

[Tom Griswold]

How many tatties did Mr. Mahomes score?

[Christy Lee]

There are tons of porn apps, by the way. Pornhub has one.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, they do.

[Christy Lee]

XNXXX videos. Adult time.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Okay. We get. You don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, you asked.

[Tom Griswold]

I was just curious. I did. I thought Josh would have a handle on that.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no. I don't know the apps. I'll look at a website, but I. Stripper mobile. I. Stripper mobile?

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Huh.

[Pat Godwin]

What's that?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know. I'm not gonna click on it though. I can tell you that.

[Tom Griswold]

You'll be regretting that for the rest of your life.

[Josh Arnold]

T. Stripper mobile is when a girl strips to get some phone service.

[Tom Griswold]

We have an interesting news story about baby names.

[Christy Lee]

Baby naming experts say there are a handful of names at risk at going extinct.

[Josh Arnold]

Boy, do I not want to meet a baby naming expert.

[Christy Lee]

Parenting website Baby center curated a list of names that experienced the sharpest decline within the top 500.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hello, Baby Center. Can I help you? Yeah, I'm thinking you want to be connected with soiled diaper. Just a moment.

[Christy Lee]

Number 10, Michelle. Downed 129 spots. Number 9, Amanda. Down 131 spots. Number 8, Finley.

[Tom Griswold]

No, really.

[Christy Lee]

Down 144 spots.

[Tom Griswold]

I got a fin. She just turned 11 yesterday.

[Christy Lee]

Yep. McKenna, down 150 spots.

[Bob Kevoian]

What's going on here? Are these popular names now that are going extinct?

[Christy Lee]

They're going to, but then I released.

[Tom Griswold]

They just. They got very popular, apparently. And now they're dropping this.

[Christy Lee]

Reagan, down 161 spots.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that because of the movie the Exorcist? Wasn't that her name?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, but I don't think that people weren't naming their kids Reagan because of that.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe they found out.

[Christy Lee]

Number five, Charlie. Down 179 spots. I have a great niece named Charlie. Well, it's Charlie, but spelled different. Number four, Brooklyn. Down 182 spots.

[Tom Griswold]

That became real trendy.

[Christy Lee]

Number three, MacKenzie, losing 184 spots. Blake for a girl.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that's. I like that.

[Christy Lee]

I do, too, but I'm not. I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

You're Blake Lively.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, that's right. Duh.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

And then the number one name that experienced the sharpest decline within the top 500. Brook. Down 198 spots.

[Tom Griswold]

Ah, it's a good name. I like that name.

[Josh Arnold]

Sure.

[Christy Lee]

Here we go with the boys. Number 10, Clayton. Down 102. Bradley, 104.

[Josh Arnold]

What do you want? Bradley, come here.

[Bob Kevoian]

Time for your beating, Bradley.

[Christy Lee]

Ronan is down 104 spots. Nasser, down 114 spots.

[Josh Arnold]

Nasser?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Astronauts go down to Nasser.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, you work for NASA. How you know someone?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, Mr. Satellite Dish in the Backyard TV. Nasser.

[Christy Lee]

Number six, Brady. Down 114 spots. I have enough of your name. Brady Reed. Down 143 spots.

[Tom Griswold]

Are there a lot of Brady's, you suppose? In Tampa?

[Christy Lee]

Probably.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, there's a bunch.

[Tom Griswold]

The Brady Bunch.

[Christy Lee]

There's probably a lot of Brady's.

[Josh Arnold]

I thought I'd try to do something New England.

[Christy Lee]

Braden. Raiden. R A I D E N. Raiden. I've never seen that name.

[Tom Griswold]

That sounds like there's a whole trend of extra Jaden. Braden Raiden.

[Bob Kevoian]

Sounds like extra strength bug spray.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Number three, Johnny, down 150 spots.

[Bob Kevoian]

What? Who?

[Christy Lee]

Johnny.

[Bob Kevoian]

Johnny.

[Josh Arnold]

Johnny.

[Christy Lee]

Number two, Jaden, down 151 spots. And the number one boy name dropping the most, Julius, down 189 spots.

[Tom Griswold]

And again, I would also think that names you're probably not going to see much anymore. I would think Alexa and Siri.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And Karen. After all that, I don't know where that. Where that Karen thing started. I know Judas has been out of favor for a while.

[Bob Kevoian]

It Has?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

What, 20, 23 years?

[Josh Arnold]

I know a Jude, but that's obscure.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, that's a big one though, because it's.

[Tom Griswold]

But yeah, Judas I don't think is Hortense.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, you don't hear a lot of that.

[Tom Griswold]

Did Gertrude making a comeback?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

I can't imagine that it would. Gertrude.

[Tom Griswold]

Adolph is Dolph Lundgren's real name. Adolf, I don't know.

[Bob Kevoian]

You know, Sonny. Jurgen Jurgensen. Name is Adolf.

[Josh Arnold]

Adolf Jurgensen.

[Bob Kevoian]

Adolf Christian Jurgensen. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Boy, that is really a mouthful.

[Bob Kevoian]

Why? He went with Sonny.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Okay. All righty. I think this next story is. This is kind of a sequel to a story we had a couple years ago about the swearing parrots.

[Christy Lee]

Staff at a wildlife park are taking a high risk approach to tackling its parrots swearing problem. Rat. Lincolnshire Wildlife park made global headlines in 2020 after staff removed five African grey parrots from display for swearing at their visitors. Since that time, three more parrots have started to squawk expletives, prompting an urgent change in tactics.

[Josh Arnold]

Tom, don't you feel like they're.

[Christy Lee]

They've got to be teaching them and.

[Josh Arnold]

This has to be a tourist attraction.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Wouldn't it make it more appealing?

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, I would think.

[Josh Arnold]

You want to go see the cussing birds? Yes, very much so.

[Christy Lee]

Chief executive Steve Nichols is about to introduce them to the rest of the flocks to dilute their swearing.

[Josh Arnold]

You think there's a Penny Nichols out there? A woman named Penny Nichols. Penny, any thoughts on this?

[Tom Griswold]

You know something? Sadly, there probably is.

[Christy Lee]

It is hoped they will also copy more appropriate vocabulary. Vocabulary and noises from the remainder of the flock. Mr. Nichols said parents are flock parents. Parrots are flock creatures. They need to be with other parrots. The bigger the flock, the happier they are. However, he admitted, or we could end up with 100 swearing parrots on our hands. Only time will tell. That would be great.

[Josh Arnold]

Wonderful.

[Tom Griswold]

I had a friend of mine had A whatever. It was a cockatoo or whatever. And it would. It would imitate the dog. So the dog would leave the room and all of a sudden the pair would go. The dog would come flying in looking for a dog.

[Josh Arnold]

Christy, did you ever have a cockatoo?

[Bob Kevoian]

Or three or four?

[Christy Lee]

Never had.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Josh Arnold]

Not very accommodating, huh?

[Bob Kevoian]

Ice cold.

[Tom Griswold]

Christy. On a different note, these Stanley. It's weird to call them Stanley cups because it's not the Stanley cup from hockey. No, it's the thermos, like cups with the handle that are so popular.

[Bob Kevoian]

Why are you making this hard?

[Tom Griswold]

Because it's confusing.

[Christy Lee]

No, nobody's going to steal a million Stanley cups.

[Josh Arnold]

Lord, Stanley's Cup.

[Bob Kevoian]

When someone says a Stanley cup or a Stanley Thermos or stamp, whatever, in America, no one thinks of Stanley Cup.

[Tom Griswold]

I was clarifying it for those that didn't.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, why do I try?

[Christy Lee]

California police arrested a woman after finding $2,500 worth of stolen Stanley cups in her car.

[Bob Kevoian]

Five or six of them.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, they're pricey.

[Christy Lee]

According to police in Roseville, officers called out to a reported theft from a store where staff said they saw a woman.

[Christopher]

Hey.

[Christy Lee]

Taking a shopping cart full of Stanley water bottles without paying for them.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, we saw you take those without paying for them.

[Christy Lee]

An officer spotted the suspect's vehicle.

[Tom Griswold]

It was. It was in Roseville, Cal. If it had been, San Francis would have wrapped them for her. Lawless. You see, they. They encouraged shoplifting there.

[Christy Lee]

Police said the 23 year old Sacramento woman was taken into custody and a search of her car recovered 65 Stanley products valued at nearly $2,500.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

It's kind of a status symbol over.

[Christy Lee]

The Yeti, I guess. Yeah, it's because it's taken over.

[Pat Godwin]

It's more expensive.

[Josh Arnold]

I think so. I have one. It was gifted to me by Tom's girlfriend for being a good kisser.

[Christy Lee]

I do not have one.

[Josh Arnold]

She said, you're such a good kisser.

[Tom Griswold]

Here's your cup now.

[Pat Godwin]

Thanks for teaching Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

And then it's. She was trying to.

[Christy Lee]

It's really big with the kids.

[Tom Griswold]

She was trying to make it give Josh a little more class.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, really?

[Tom Griswold]

Which he immediately lost by drinking Mountain Dew diet out of it.

[Christy Lee]

All right.

[Josh Arnold]

It's a fine beverage, I happen to think.

[Christy Lee]

Don't you remember? Remember we were kids? The Stanley Thermos was the green thermos that your dad would take to work that had the silver cup on top. Do you know what I'm talking?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

With booze in it.

[Josh Arnold]

My dad sure sure.

[Christy Lee]

My dad did coffee, but okay. You can.

[Tom Griswold]

It's more of a. More of a flask, I think, Pat.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, are you still amazed by old pictures of those guys on girders opening those up?

[Tom Griswold]

I love that one.

[Josh Arnold]

The good guy at the top of the Empire State Building.

[Christopher]

Coming right back in just a few minutes. I don't know if you knew this or not, but Jessica Ulsman was a big softball. We'll find out about that coming up next here on the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show on this Thursday morning, the best of the Bob and Tom Show. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. The lovely Jessica Alsman joins us. We find out she was a big softball star.

[Bob Kevoian]

Tom getting himself arranged, pulling shirts.

[Tom Griswold]

I got all these. I got a question.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

You were a. Tom, you were a fine softball player, is that correct?

[Josh Arnold]

Indeed.

[Christy Lee]

A collegiate athlete.

[Tom Griswold]

Collegiate softball player. I was a little confused earlier. I thought that there Chick was saying there's going to be a professional women's softball league. It's going to be just baseball. Baseball, hardball. Sorry, baseball.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, baseball. Softballs are hard.

[Tom Griswold]

That's true.

[Christy Lee]

They are.

[Tom Griswold]

To further confuse the issue, in, in softball, is it more difficult for like a righty to hit off a lefty? Does it matter? Do they. Do they do the same kind of thing they do in baseball where they bring in the right hander, that sort of thing?

[Christy Lee]

It is because when you got a righty pitching to a righty, you can kind of jam them and it's harder to do that with a left handed.

[Josh Arnold]

So softball they will do. They use.

[Christy Lee]

But we don't switch us out because we don't have that many pitchers. I mean, at least where I played.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, okay.

[Christy Lee]

So if you had a deep line.

[Josh Arnold]

If you have the luxury. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. Okay. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, well, I'm interesting.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

You were a pitcher, right? Yeah, I've thrown a no hitter. There you go.

[Josh Arnold]

That's amazing. I was saying that those underhand pitches are so the speed is impressive, of course, but for me it's the control. I don't know how you maintain control while throwing underhand like that.

[Christy Lee]

Just practice.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, sure. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

It's just weird because you know, as soon as you release the ball as a pitcher, and I think anyone will tell you this, as soon as you let go, you know, if you've messed up and missed your target, like you know, if there's going to be a meatball coming right back, right face, right. And so there is like the cat like reflexes that you're always going to be able to stop it. Even though you're like, like really close or your body will stop it. Whether.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

I didn't know you used meatballs.

[Christy Lee]

You do?

[Bob Kevoian]

That's weird now. Well, I think I could pitch a game and not hit anybody.

[Pat Godwin]

I mean, that's what I was thinking.

[Bob Kevoian]

The big damn deal here. Good God. I could hit them on purpose, I tell you that. Well, that corner's mine.

[Tom Griswold]

We have Christy Lee. She's at the Silac Insurance news desk. We've missed a lot today. What's going on?

[Christy Lee]

A massive dust storm known as a haboob swept through the Phoenix area Monday evening.

[Josh Arnold]

I've been a part of one of these.

[Bob Kevoian]

I saw, I don't know, seven, eight reports on this dust storm.

[Christy Lee]

Never called it a haboob.

[Bob Kevoian]

Never heard the word haboo.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's the, that's the technical name. Never.

[Bob Kevoian]

Where they.

[Tom Griswold]

I heard it last night on the news.

[Bob Kevoian]

Where did you get this, Christy?

[Christy Lee]

The Associated Press.

[Bob Kevoian]

All right.

[Christy Lee]

The storm brought powerful winds blowing dust and sand across highways and neighborhoods. Visibility dropped quickly, forcing drivers to pull over and leading to reports of downed power lines. The Phoenix airport forced to briefly shut down. Meteorologists say haboobs form when thunderstorm downdrafts push air outward, kicking up dust across the desert. They're most common in Arizona during monsoon season.

[Josh Arnold]

The All Star game was out in Phoenix and I was out there with rolling springs and we saw that coming. It's like in the Brendan Fraser Mummy, that sandstorm coming. And we went, how is this going to work? And the next day we had to get our vehicles, the Rawlings branded vehicles washed and the lines of the car washes were literally hours long. It took us.

[Tom Griswold]

It looks like a special effect from a movie.

[Josh Arnold]

It was crazy.

[Jessica Alsman]

Was.

[Bob Kevoian]

Were you guys all aware that there's a monsoon season?

[Christy Lee]

I did not know.

[Bob Kevoian]

I thought it was all lovely and sunshine and a little hot sometimes.

[Tom Griswold]

Haboob is a, I believe of, of Arabic origin.

[Christy Lee]

I think sounds Arabic.

[Tom Griswold]

And it'd be hard to be a meteorologist and not start chuckling when you talk about, you know, haboob job.

[Josh Arnold]

Haboob job. I guess you wouldn't, you wouldn't really call it that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

On a related note, at Burning man in Nevada's Blackrock Desert, the powerful dust storm there destroyed the festival's so called orgy Dome. The structure, a long running fixture at the event where consenting adults could participate in group intimacy, was blown apart by the high winds. Photos show the framework collapsed in canvas Shredded by the storm organizers of the dome, which has been part of Burning man for decades.

[Josh Arnold]

Am you dust.

[Christy Lee]

I say they will not attempt to rebuild this year.

[Josh Arnold]

I didn't get to sleep with your wife.

[Bob Kevoian]

I gave you one job.

[Tom Griswold]

I told you shut the door when.

[Bob Kevoian]

You leave, didn't I?

[Josh Arnold]

Yep.

[Christy Lee]

Burning man does continue to happen as planned, though weather disruptions have affected camps and delayed some events. The festival began on the 24th and runs until September 1st.

[Josh Arnold]

Can I kiss your wife?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, there you go.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, it does look like a nice place.

[Josh Arnold]

Made out of wood. They're like purple wood couches.

[Bob Kevoian]

You gotta have a purple wood motif.

[Pat Godwin]

If you're gonna have an orgy dome down right here.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's right.

[Josh Arnold]

I want the polka dotted, one stripper.

[Christy Lee]

Pole in the center or whatever.

[Pat Godwin]

Got to get titillated before you start your.

[Bob Kevoian]

You go over there on that purple couch. Get that butt up in the air.

[Tom Griswold]

So that was the orgy dome.

[Christy Lee]

Is that. Yeah, barely.

[Pat Godwin]

That looks hot.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Sand always ruins sexual activity.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh certainly does.

[Christy Lee]

And splinters can make a pearl in there.

[Tom Griswold]

So the folks that went to Burning man for the sex now have no.

[Christy Lee]

Choice but oh, they have to do it in their own time.

[Bob Kevoian]

I thought it was like peace, love and understanding and enlightenment and music and.

[Tom Griswold]

Actually it says when did it turned.

[Bob Kevoian]

Into a sex palooza?

[Tom Griswold]

Organizers describe the quote orgy dome as a place to promote, and I'm quoting here, education about consent and the importance of its practice beyond intimate space. Why that's meaningless.

[Josh Arnold]

You consent, don't you?

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah. You consent me anywhere.

[Tom Griswold]

We're going to have a. We're going to have a throuple in the.

[Josh Arnold]

In.

[Tom Griswold]

In the teepee over here. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is it okay if I do that to you?

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, you'll heard her.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's.

[Tom Griswold]

I hooked up with her. The only the Burning man is my. My male members burning. A couple weeks ago, I caught the nail from that chick boy I like.

[Bob Kevoian]

Did you have that burning sensation?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

Pat Godwin's notion that there was a woman caught in the orgy tent during that sandstorm and a week later she pulled out a pearl.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, that kind of went right by.

[Pat Godwin]

A lot of mine do.

[Josh Arnold]

I'd love to go to Burning Man. My. My issue with it is the location kinda because apparently there's is one way out and you. It's like eight hours like almost literally to get out of there. So it's like bonnaroo. I'd have some trouble with that.

[Tom Griswold]

When do they set the burning Man? Isn't they set it on fire. Right. That's the. I would hope.

[Josh Arnold]

That would be, like, the last night.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that the beginning or at the end?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, at the end.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, no, no, Tom. They water it down. That's why they call it Burning Man.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I know.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, but it doesn't.

[Tom Griswold]

I was wondering if it was the beginning or the end of the show.

[Josh Arnold]

So it's the. That's. That's the grand finale. All right.

[Bob Kevoian]

How do you do anything after the thing burns? Isn't it, like 80ft tall or something?

[Pat Godwin]

There's a lot of nudity, too. I mean, girls are painted, but it's.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's a lot.

[Josh Arnold]

But I'd love to go. They have all kinds of arts and crafts and.

[Tom Griswold]

Arts and crafts. I didn't know there were arts and crafts. Now I'm going.

[Josh Arnold]

I love stuff.

[Tom Griswold]

Is there like. Like, velvet paintings of Jesus? Do they have. Do they have Jesus shaking hands with Elvis?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I guarantee you, you get, like, a velvet it. Morrison.

[Tom Griswold]

I love the doors.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I was gonna get you one.

[Pat Godwin]

You can make your own pottery. Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, go talk to some hippie chick who makes her own bracelets.

[Tom Griswold]

Do they have the one where Jesus is telling Jim Morrison he's going to hell because of that thing about his mom?

[Josh Arnold]

I'd like to think that there's somebody on there on site that will paint whatever you ask them to.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, God. They'll paint it. All right.

[Josh Arnold]

Sounds very nice.

[Pat Godwin]

You bring the money. They'll paint it.

[Josh Arnold]

I'll get a nice God's eye.

[Bob Kevoian]

Have you seen the candles that are about. They look like a Pringle can, and they're like Dolly Parton.

[Josh Arnold]

Almost.

[Bob Kevoian]

Whoever you'd want.

[Christy Lee]

They're like a religious.

[Josh Arnold]

Who do you want? I'll get you one.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, no kidding?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

What do you want?

[Bob Kevoian]

So I can have it at home?

[Josh Arnold]

Done.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, Tom, that would be a great gift for next year for Christmas.

[Bob Kevoian]

The Tom. What do they call those? Like a votive kit? No, those are too big.

[Josh Arnold]

All kinds of good food, you know, Go to the grilled eggplant at Burning Me.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, they have big Montana beef sandwiches, too, don't they?

[Tom Griswold]

But the orgy dome is going to reopen next year, they say.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, maybe. Yeah. They're hoping to rebuild by next year. Not this year, though.

[Bob Kevoian]

You'd be a fool to go this year.

[Tom Griswold]

When you get an invitation to an orgy, is it a plus one situation?

[Bob Kevoian]

I think it's implied.

[Christy Lee]

That's a great question.

[Tom Griswold]

Or do you.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's absolutely implied.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. That is. Okay, good. Do you RSVP No.

[Pat Godwin]

You don't pee?

[Tom Griswold]

No. Okay, good.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what? I bet they have a burning Man. What looms. Would you like to see? Like. Oh, a team of loomers.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Create, you know, the yarn in between the strings there and they brush them all down.

[Tom Griswold]

So you're telling me they have arts and crafts?

[Bob Kevoian]

Absolutely. I bet you can pick your loom material, whatever rug you would like.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Can I get a little naugahide here?

[Bob Kevoian]

A little jute right here?

[Josh Arnold]

Absolutely.

[Tom Griswold]

J, U T E. It's like.

[Bob Kevoian]

Like a. It's like a twiny hemp.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Cotton type fiber.

[Tom Griswold]

You could get one of those. What are they, macrame things.

[Bob Kevoian]

I bet you're up to your armpits and macrame plants.

[Josh Arnold]

From what I understand, it's a miles.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jessica Alsman]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good.

[Josh Arnold]

I'd love it.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good.

[Christy Lee]

Prayer candles.

[Josh Arnold]

I can't believe you guys wouldn't pray.

[Tom Griswold]

That's where the habu, the haboob hit in Burning Man. And was that a separate haboob?

[Christy Lee]

It was a separate haboob, I believe.

[Tom Griswold]

What's on the hubbub about they're separating haboobs now? I remember last time I saw boobs, my cousin Sharon jumped in the trampoline. Look at that. Boobs on there.

[Josh Arnold]

I wasn't covered in dust.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you know that?

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, Dicky, do you know our cousin.

[Tom Griswold]

Daryl is coming over tonight?

[Josh Arnold]

No, but he's a dropper in her.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, he doesn't call, he just goes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, how's it going? I hate that about it.

[Tom Griswold]

Let me see how boobs again, gentlemen.

[Christopher]

Coming up next hour here on the Bob and Tom show, some listener letters and more with the lovely Allie Breen. But next, getting out of bed and college football names on the way. Next on the Bob and Tom Show. This is the Bob and Tom show on a New Year's Day. Welcome. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Happy New Year to all of you. Here's a segment about getting out of bed and college football names at the.

[Bob Kevoian]

Silac Insurance news desk, it's Christy Lee.

[Tom Griswold]

Is your bed made?

[Christy Lee]

No, I. I don't know. There was a man in it when I left.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, really? What was his name?

[Christy Lee]

Andy.

[Tom Griswold]

How do you know?

[Bob Kevoian]

Now let's switch live to the handy.

[Josh Arnold]

It's written in his underwear.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's so nice and quiet here right now. There's Pat Godwin.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, Chick with two dogs.

[Bob Kevoian]

Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi.

[Bob Kevoian]

Ace Cosby.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, Chick.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you wake him up before you leave?

[Christy Lee]

No, he gets up when I leave.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, right as you're leaving.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, his. His alarm goes off right at 5.

[Tom Griswold]

Does he give you a. Did you speak at all or.

[Christy Lee]

Not very often. Usually I'm out before his alarm goes off.

[Tom Griswold]

Not even a quick hello and a quick kiss on the cheek.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, hear that, Tom? Hear that?

[Pat Godwin]

He pretends he's asleep.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I got a countdown from 100. I got up, I got a pee bad, but I'm not getting up. I'm not moving.

[Bob Kevoian]

He's got it set up as soon as I garage door hit cement the.

[Tom Griswold]

Disco lights, I creep around like a cat burglar. And occasionally Kelly will do the zombie walk and walk by me. And if I even go, hi, good morning, I get nothing.

[Christy Lee]

Well, she actually gets up.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no, no, no. If she. Only if she has to be or something. No, no. And it's. It's rare, but every once in a while in the middle of the night, like two ships passing, there's no, hey, how's it going? If I say anything, she's. Because she's as the ability to. I guess it's sleepwalk, people.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Where you get up, you don't really wake up.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, I did what you do the other night. I woke up, was having an interesting dream. Woke up, peed, went back to bed. Right back into that dream.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. That is. I. I am. That is one of my only talents.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

So. So envious.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. It happens to me every now and again. It's rare.

[Tom Griswold]

Especially if it's a great dream.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. This was like a cool. I was in like, a weird place, so. It was fun.

[Tom Griswold]

It was like a woman.

[Josh Arnold]

It was like trap.

[Pat Godwin]

What A Pizza Hut.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, wow, another county heard from.

[Christy Lee]

I don't ever get up in the middle of the night to pee, though.

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Christy Lee]

I don't.

[Bob Kevoian]

You are Psalms. Prostate. Okay.

[Christy Lee]

Well, that's true.

[Bob Kevoian]

Count your blessing.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Like a grapefruit.

[Tom Griswold]

I. I don't know what my record is, but last night might have been pretty close.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

The amount of times.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I had this medical procedure yesterday where they infuse you with a bunch of liquid.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, my God. Every hour it's. Look at the clock.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, great.

[Tom Griswold]

One o'cl clock. And then you go in there and you wrangle the thing and get going.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wrangle the thing.

[Tom Griswold]

And I usually. If I get up in the middle of the night, I have this mouthwash. Huh.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

And I'll go and do a slug of it. And then. Because, you know, you wake up in the middle of the night. Your mouth.

[Christopher]

Wait a minute.

[Josh Arnold]

Do you.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do you attempt docking in the middle of the night?

[Pat Godwin]

Just getting ready for an encounter.

[Tom Griswold]

So far, I'm. Oh, for 8, 000. That's never. No, I just. You tell her.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, no, baby, this is a dream.

[Christy Lee]

You never had sex before you came to work?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, that's the best.

[Bob Kevoian]

You gotta knock it out.

[Tom Griswold]

You know what time I get up.

[Bob Kevoian]

Knock it out, baby, I know what.

[Christy Lee]

Time you get up.

[Tom Griswold]

That's not. That's not happening.

[Pat Godwin]

Do you guys have a big, big bed?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Are you like, I see your bed looking almost identically to Liberace bed. I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

I have a sleep number. Bed. Whatever the big one's called.

[Josh Arnold]

Cuddle or.

[Tom Griswold]

I guess cuddle. Or you're all by yourself. Yourself.

[Pat Godwin]

Do you. How do you sleep?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I go to bed before she does.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Away before. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

So she sneaks in and she doesn't wake you up?

[Tom Griswold]

No, she. I don't wake up.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I. But when I get up, I'm tiptoeing around because I don't want to wake up the dog.

[Pat Godwin]

Does she wake up when you tiptoe around?

[Bob Kevoian]

Do you still. Do you still snore?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Bob Kevoian]

You used to get fan mail from the airport. I know that. For the loudness.

[Tom Griswold]

You snore.

[Pat Godwin]

You snored hard up on vacation.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I've lost, whatever, £50. So with it goes the snoring, apparently. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

All right.

[Josh Arnold]

If you wake up at, let's say, an hour before your alarm is going to go off and you really have to pee, do you go ahead and get up and pee?

[Bob Kevoian]

I thought you were going to say go ahead and piss the bed.

[Pat Godwin]

I don't get it. I wait.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, sometimes I wait, too. And that last hour is not great sleep. No, it's.

[Pat Godwin]

You sit there.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. See, I've learned. No, it's worth getting up and getting rid of it and then going back to bed. What percentage of the time, Josh, do you wake up before your alarm goes off?

[Josh Arnold]

85, 90.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm right there, too.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, 100.

[Pat Godwin]

100 for me, too.

[Bob Kevoian]

I can't remember the last time my alarm woke me up.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my alarm woke me up this morning.

[Tom Griswold]

What kind of a noise does it make?

[Bob Kevoian]

I don't know.

[Christy Lee]

Whatever's on here.

[Bob Kevoian]

The alarm from Apple. You've got, like, whatever Apple tells us to do.

[Josh Arnold]

Ever hear it in a movie and it makes you sick to your stomach?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

It scares me. I know.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, I gotta get up.

[Josh Arnold]

Wait a minute.

[Tom Griswold]

And one Thing you'll never hear in this show. I hate it when you're listening to something and there's all of a sudden there's a siren and you think it's. You think it's behind you and you're looking for the ambulance. Oh, it's douchebags. And the radio. We're doing it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

I've gotten jumpier at horns.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

If somebody, if somebody anywhere on the road honks a horn, I am flinching and I get mad. What do you need your horn for?

[Tom Griswold]

And I would like to have some kind of stats on when you're at one of those left turn only lanes and it's one of those lights that it's going to be. Be left turn for about 10 seconds.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Stay off your phone.

[Tom Griswold]

And it goes. You realize the person in front of you is texting.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. Yellow used to mean yield. Now it means grab your phone.

[Pat Godwin]

It's insane out there. Everybody's on the phone.

[Jessica Alsman]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

My alarm is on the default. Whatever that radial is.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Don't they have. Do they have one that's. That speaks to you?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, sure, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

One that goes. Chris Christie, wake up.

[Christy Lee]

God.

[Pat Godwin]

These phones are practically like, like mini computers.

[Tom Griswold]

Really.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what?

[Bob Kevoian]

You know what, Pat?

[Allie Breen]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's almost like they're their own computer.

[Tom Griswold]

Now. Yesterday in the show, my favorite segment, Chick McGee dug up a list of.

[Bob Kevoian]

This season's odd college football names. And they're interesting. College football name.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, and in the history of sports, even like you look at baseball names from days gone by and there's poetry there. I mean, some of them are so beautiful. They're so unusual. Some of the ones in college football this year are just tremendous. Amazon, Little John Tree, Boba Laid. Or it might be Babalade, I don't know. Demon Clowney. And he is related to Jadavian Clown, he says. What did he say? Cousin. You know, a guy named. Memorable factor.

[Christy Lee]

Going to mess with a guy named Demon, are you?

[Tom Griswold]

I guess not, no. But they go back. I decided to come up with a list of some of the great names from back in the day in the NFL. And there are some really great ones. How about this one? Crafon. Zo Thorpe.

[Josh Arnold]

Crafon. So I heard that in my life. That's amazing.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, your favorite, Favorite name from 60s 70s NFL is Green Bay Packer running back Turdell Middleton.

[Tom Griswold]

Now you remember. But you remember Fair Hooker, right?

[Bob Kevoian]

Fair Hooker. Cleveland Browns, I think number 44.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Which reminds me, I think we have just. Is just Hooker coming in today. I think so.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. I think so.

[Tom Griswold]

Look forward to that. No relation to Fair Hooker. I don't think Hooker is her married.

[Christy Lee]

Married name. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. So we'll have to find out if. If there's any relation there. But just some great names. We'll review some of those on the way. Barkevius Mango.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's recently. He might still be in the league.

[Tom Griswold]

Just some beautiful names out there in every sport.

[Josh Arnold]

What was that first one? Cronza.

[Tom Griswold]

Lowers. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Thorpe.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And it is C R A P.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it starts with.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it is C. It's C R A P. H O, N, S O. I'm assuming it's Phf. I assume it's Crafonzo, not Crap Hanso.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I hope they.

[Tom Griswold]

And judging by his athletic skills, we're gonna call him Crafonzo because we like our teeth.

[Pat Godwin]

Irish people keep it easy with the names. We just use the same ones. It's Mary, it's Jimmy, it's.

[Christy Lee]

Well, no, you've got some Phineas and.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I wonder what. What major culture has the same names the most? It might be Mexico. That's why you always see, like they'll have four names.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah. Double nicknames and stuff. I'm sorry, Double middle names.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Because there are so many that, you know, I have this. I don't know.

[Christy Lee]

And a lot of them might be religious because in Catholicism you get a name when you get confirmed. So they may add that.

[Tom Griswold]

You got an extra name.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, what is it?

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, it's a Catholic thing, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Confirmation.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Your confirmation name is Marie.

[Tom Griswold]

Marie.

[Bob Kevoian]

Sweet Marie.

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't know that.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. You get a new name. You get it. You get to add a confirmation name now.

[Tom Griswold]

Joseph Patrick Godwin. Do you have an extra name?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Martin.

[Tom Griswold]

Martin Marty.

[Bob Kevoian]

The one man party.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Wait a minute. You picked Martin?

[Pat Godwin]

I think I picked it.

[Tom Griswold]

You get to pick it?

[Allie Breen]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah. When we got confirmed, it was different. It was like you were in second grade, so, you know.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm surprised you didn't go something like Ringo. One of the Beatles.

[Pat Godwin]

No, my parents had to. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh. There are limitations. You can't go with something cool.

[Christy Lee]

It has to be a saint.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, that's what it was.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

It has to be a saint named after a Lutheran. Martin Luther, of course.

[Tom Griswold]

Very, very good. We're fully aware.

[Pat Godwin]

Our religion changed every year when we were kids.

[Josh Arnold]

Remember when I was confirmed, I picked my. My name based off a St. Bernard.

[Tom Griswold]

That's nice.

[Josh Arnold]

Very, very good.

[Bob Kevoian]

I like it. Is Saint Bernard the Saint of puppy dogs.

[Josh Arnold]

Big old doggies.

[Bob Kevoian]

Big old dog.

[Josh Arnold]

Big old good boys and girls.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, big old drunk dogs.

[Christopher]

We are coming right back on this Thursday morning, more of the Bob and Tom show with Sexy Time and Ally Breen. It's next on the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

George bush, george burns, george jones, george benson, george c. Sc george reeves, george wallace, george hallis, george washington, george washington carver. George gold. George. Now you totally confused me here. George jefferson, george jetson, george picard, george harrison, boy george by george. George of the jungle, george straight, chris george linda day, george. George patton, phyllis george. George custer, george mcclellan, george foster, george martin, george thorogood. George carlin, george hamilton, george raft, george jessel, tallulah gorge, susan george, curious george, georgie porgy, george clinton, george siegel, george mcgovern, jeff george. George lindsey, george sanford brown, george lucas, george mccrae, george schultz, george michan, gorgeous george, gorgeous george jr. Everybody.

[Bob Kevoian]

George orwell.

[Josh Arnold]

George went, whoever the hell tom said. George gomel, george michael, george foreman, chuck george, a guy you used to go to high school with. Georgetown. George naismith. See, that's the guy that george will. George montgomery, george steinbrenner. Georgie fain, george from mice and men. George allen, george rogers. George the gipper. George gershwin. George gervin, machine gun kelly. His name was george. George the harius. George kennedy, george brett, george mitchell, george stephanopoulos. Chief dan. George. George blanda. George ruthers clark. Now let's throw in some of these new ones. George plimpton. Let's put george plimpton in here five times. George plimpton.

[Bob Kevoian]

George.

[Josh Arnold]

George pimpton. George pimpton. George pimpton.

[Tom Griswold]

How about george liberace's brother?

[Josh Arnold]

Quit writing us letters, george. We put you in the damn song.

[Tom Griswold]

George clooney.

[Josh Arnold]

George clooney.

[Tom Griswold]

George liberace.

[Josh Arnold]

George liberace's brother.

[Tom Griswold]

Chicken george.

[Josh Arnold]

Chicken george.

[Tom Griswold]

George chicaris.

[Josh Arnold]

George chicaris.

[Tom Griswold]

Know who he was?

[Josh Arnold]

No, I do not.

[Tom Griswold]

He was bernardo in the west side story. Remember him? All I remember.

[Josh Arnold]

Some girl named maria was in there. Ah, I see.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you forgot. You gotta add george jacaris.

[Bob Kevoian]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

And do you have babe ruth in there?

[Josh Arnold]

George herman.

[Bob Kevoian]

Ruth.

[Josh Arnold]

You people are making me sound stupid. Tell you what let's do. Let's go to the south and get some southern comedian and bring him up to indiana and make him look like an idiot. And george is on my mind.

[Tom Griswold]

Bravo.

[Christopher]

This is the best of the Bob and Tom show on a New Year's Day morning. Welcome. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Another segment with the lovely Ali Breen and Sexy Time.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, hello.

[Bob Kevoian]

We're back. Let's talk about sex, baby.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, let's do it.

[Christy Lee]

You and me.

[Tom Griswold]

Sexy Time. And there she is.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hit it.

[Tom Griswold]

She's the.

[Allie Breen]

Hi, guys.

[Tom Griswold]

She's the. The goddess of sexy time. She's the lovely Ally Breen. How tall are you? Ali.

[Allie Breen]

Yes. How tall am I?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Allie Breen]

Is that what you said? Almost five six.

[Tom Griswold]

Five foot, six inches of love. Yeah. She's the blonde bombshell, Ali Brown brain.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

She is our sex authority.

[Bob Kevoian]

Apparently we've taken a time machine back into 1968.

[Tom Griswold]

How would you like to be introduced, Ali? Would you?

[Allie Breen]

I like the Sexy Time intro. You usually give me that down low Sexy Time voice.

[Tom Griswold]

Ladies and gentlemen, from her.

[Bob Kevoian]

Thanks a lot, Ally.

[Tom Griswold]

From her. From her love pad in New York City, Ally, it's Sexy Time with Ali Breen.

[Josh Arnold]

This is a little inside comedy, but are you still often introduced? Let's say there's eight comedians on one show and you're the only female. Is it our next comedian is a female. That still happens.

[Allie Breen]

Oh, that still happens also because now people are so much prouder of having a female on the show because it's kind of mandatory, so they really need to point it out.

[Tom Griswold]

I think they're going to kind of figure it out when you walk out.

[Josh Arnold]

Exactly.

[Allie Breen]

You would imagine.

[Josh Arnold]

Amazing.

[Allie Breen]

But it's supposedly a big deal on a. Kyle, Are you guys ready for a lady?

[Josh Arnold]

Can you believe we let them on stage.

[Pat Godwin]

Now?

[Tom Griswold]

Do you ever get hit on after shows that. By guys that.

[Allie Breen]

It's happened, but it's pretty rare. I think guys get hit on a lot after shows. Women, not so much. I don't know that it's very attractive to be an opinionated woman up there with a microphone.

[Tom Griswold]

Have you ever been hit on by an. Another woman?

[Allie Breen]

I. I mean, not related to comedy, but in real life. I have.

[Tom Griswold]

How'd that go?

[Allie Breen]

I've had a. A few incidents.

[Bob Kevoian]

You know how it goes. It's none of your business is how it goes.

[Pat Godwin]

No, I'm.

[Allie Breen]

I've been hit on by a couple before. That's a real weird one.

[Josh Arnold]

That is. That happened to me. That is interesting. Yeah.

[Allie Breen]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

That's really flattering.

[Allie Breen]

Yeah. Yeah, that's true.

[Christy Lee]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, now Allie will be receiving your letters if you want to send them to her. It's a L L I B R E E N on all social media platforms and ask us to help you with your love troubles. What have we got for starters?

[Allie Breen]

All right. This first one's kind of a soap opera. Dear Allie, I went through a devastating breakup last year when I asked my girlfriend to marry me and she said no. We broke up when our lease ended a month later, and a mutual friend of ours comforted me through it, and we ended up dating. Now I just found out that this friend of ours was telling my ex that I wasn't the one for her and that we shouldn't rush into marriage and should take a little break. So she actually caused my breakup.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Allie Breen]

I thought I was now falling in love with her, but now I'm pretty upset and confused. Although I'd be devastated if it ended. What should I do?

[Josh Arnold]

You're wrong that that woman did not cause your breakup. If you guys were meant to be together, you. You would have gotten past whatever she was saying. She was just telling her friend, hey, I don't. This isn't right. And she was probably telling her friend something that her friend knew but didn't want to admit.

[Christy Lee]

Or was she trying to steal the guy away from her friend?

[Tom Griswold]

This is kind of a gas. Gaslighting thing, I think.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't think it's any of that.

[Christy Lee]

I liked a guy, my friend couldn't convince me not to exact.

[Josh Arnold]

Exactly.

[Christy Lee]

Unless it's like, I caught him cheating, blah, blah, blah.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, you guys like to think cynically, and that's exactly correct.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Unfortunately, you're void of that quality.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Thank goodness you're on solid ground.

[Josh Arnold]

I am above any cynicism.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's exactly right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. This is complicated. I. I don't know enough to know.

[Allie Breen]

Both things could be true. I mean, she tried to cause the breakup, but it wouldn't have taken if the girl was actually in love with this guy.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Bob Kevoian]

And if he really like. Like the new girl, there's nothing that could happen that he.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wouldn't, you know, stay with her if he really liked her.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe this. End this. See, this sounds like one of those Dear Penthouse letters that ends in a three way.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, they all get together and they're.

[Tom Griswold]

They all get together.

[Allie Breen]

Yeah. Which is suggested even as a joke, probably.

[Tom Griswold]

It's not gonna happen.

[Allie Breen]

Throw it out there.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, let's move on. What else have we got?

[Allie Breen]

Dear Ally, for New Year's this year, we went to my wife's sister's house. My wife had too much to drink and she went to lay down early. Early. When midnight struck, I ended up kissing her sister, which was supposed to be.

[Bob Kevoian]

A peck, but it ended up being.

[Allie Breen]

A pretty long, intimate kiss.

[Bob Kevoian]

It Ended.

[Allie Breen]

Now I can't stop thinking about it. Neither one of us have talked about it since. But our friends saw it happen. And so do I need to tell my wife or should I talk to her sister?

[Christy Lee]

What do I do? You are 24 days late telling your wife. Right.

[Josh Arnold]

Just pack your bag. Yeah. Quit your job.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. There's some really good gigs up in Alaska right now.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, you can change names real easy.

[Christy Lee]

Another state.

[Josh Arnold]

Go work on an oil rig.

[Christy Lee]

Off.

[Josh Arnold]

The coast of Texas.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's right. Work for the. The Doomsday Clock people.

[Josh Arnold]

They're looking.

[Bob Kevoian]

I understand.

[Josh Arnold]

Man, oh man, you are screwed in a way. You've. You're free to, you know, you. You've. You've wiped this late. Clean yourself out. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Just.

[Bob Kevoian]

Just go. Not only your wife, the whole family.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, exactly. You. In one fell swoop. Sure.

[Bob Kevoian]

If you were trying, it's genius. Beautiful move.

[Christy Lee]

The only thing that saves you is that everybody saw it. So you weren't hiding it. So maybe that's the one for you.

[Josh Arnold]

In a way. In a way, I see what you're saying. It wasn't that they were trying to get away.

[Bob Kevoian]

Everybody saw it. How does his wife not know about it already?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah, I know. That's the thing.

[Bob Kevoian]

And she's. She's just waiting to pounce.

[Christy Lee]

I couldn't wait to tell the wife. I'm like, did you see what your husband did?

[Josh Arnold]

You.

[Christy Lee]

You didn't see it.

[Tom Griswold]

You were asleep.

[Christy Lee]

But this is what happened.

[Josh Arnold]

Jeez.

[Bob Kevoian]

Not asleep.

[Tom Griswold]

Passed out.

[Josh Arnold]

So she deserves what happened. The wife deserves.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, you are king of blame the victim, aren't you? You really are. That's what you go to same. It's her own damn fault.

[Josh Arnold]

Should have gone easy on the snobs.

[Tom Griswold]

Should have taken a problem taking a sharpie and draw on some big van rainy right in her face. And she wakes up, happy New Year. Oh, I'm so hungover.

[Josh Arnold]

Huh?

[Tom Griswold]

Your sister tastes better than you. I got news.

[Jessica Alsman]

Right?

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

We've done no work here that's worked any well. This is very effective. Let's try something else. What have you got? Ally?

[Allie Breen]

Dear Ally, my. My girlfriend always wants to use toys in bed. I'm okay with it once in a while, but it makes sex seem dirtier and less intimate.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Allie Breen]

Is it a sign that I should pay attention to that? She never wants non batter operated sex with me.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, we don't know enough. Is she. Is he being involved at all?

[Christy Lee]

I mean, like with the toys too?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Allie Breen]

She's just making him Watch.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, Leroy, hit the on switch. I. I don't know. People. People like what they like.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Just be thankful that you. She's getting off.

[Tom Griswold]

You at least get to observe.

[Allie Breen]

I mean, maybe not all the time. Maybe there should be a designated.

[Tom Griswold]

I put it on cruise control. I'm gonna go watch the game. Good luck. This is a question for our. What's our toy? Our sex toy lady.

[Christy Lee]

Dr. Sadie.

[Tom Griswold]

Dr. Sadie Allen.

[Christy Lee]

Katie would promote the toy part, I would think. Not the intimacy part.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, she would argue that the intimacy is part. It's all part of it.

[Christy Lee]

It's all together. But I can see where he's coming from. He's got a move.

[Josh Arnold]

She needs it. You're not gonna. She won't get off unless she has the toys. So you can try it without it.

[Tom Griswold]

Try getting something really exotic that like requires you to use both hands just to hold it. All right, I'm gonna. As soon as we're done, I'm gonna go tear up the patio.

[Christy Lee]

Oh my goodness. Like a jackhammer.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's a jackhammer. The Jack hundred with the special ladies attachment.

[Allie Breen]

What if she's like do this all the time, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Bite on my wallet while I use this on Ally.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm going to tell you a very quick true story. Someone here may back me up. This is an actual thing. You can google it. Do you know what. Do you know what a Sawzall is? No, what's it. What's the. Is it a recipe?

[Josh Arnold]

Reciprocal reciprocating.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, you're not going to tell it.

[Tom Griswold]

I'll just give part. It's a saw that back and forth it goes. It moves back and forth. Yeah.

[Allie Breen]

Oh, that each person has an end of.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no, not that one.

[Josh Arnold]

It's like a very strong electric knife that you might carve a turkey with.

[Christy Lee]

That's a very good example.

[Tom Griswold]

Like a handheld.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

We had a news story about someone who had one of those and they. They attached a dildo esque dildo to it.

[Josh Arnold]

Good lord.

[Tom Griswold]

All right. You following me so far?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And during the action.

[Tom Griswold]

And during the action. And by the way, they. They affixed it to an actual blade.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So but unfortunately during the action the. I guess the adhesive failed and.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that was instant episiotomy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it was pretty rare. So the point is, if you're going to do something like that, maybe get store bought rather than MacGyvering a dildo. That's just. That's today's public service. You're welcome. Let's move on.

[Allie Breen]

That sounds like the porn version of the Saw movie.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, it is horrible, but it's real. It actually just awful.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, back to Ellie. What else you got?

[Josh Arnold]

You feel good sharing that with Ally? Ruining her day?

[Tom Griswold]

No, it was a public service announcement. Okay, don't MacGyver sex toys.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Okay. Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, we took the iron. We didn't realize that we. We bypassed the safety switch and.

[Allie Breen]

Oh, God. All right, yeah. Wipe that out of our mind. Dear Ellie, I am dating a guy online who has taken me on the most exciting dates I've ever been on.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Allie Breen]

We've traveled almost every weekend together. And when he's at my. He'll treat me and all my friends to dinners and going out to clubs, etc. I finally realized my friend mentioned I've never been to his place. He says it's because it's very boring and he wants to keep things exciting with me. What's going on? My friends say he's married, but I've talked to him at all hours of the night, so I don't see how that's possible.

[Christy Lee]

Huh. Do they live in the same city? Do they.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe he lives with his mom.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, maybe, you know.

[Allie Breen]

Oh, that's interesting.

[Christy Lee]

Have a lot of extra money. Yeah, if he's.

[Tom Griswold]

If he's spending all this money, he's apparently got it.

[Josh Arnold]

What's the problem now? He does. He doesn't want.

[Tom Griswold]

He doesn't want her to come to his place.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

So she's never seen where he lives.

[Christy Lee]

She thinks he's married.

[Josh Arnold]

Gotcha.

[Tom Griswold]

But didn't you say it's.

[Allie Breen]

But they go away every weekend. I don't know if they're from the same town. You're right.

[Tom Griswold]

It sounds like they live in different places. Yeah, maybe he lives in a really.

[Christy Lee]

Boring place, but he's exciting himself. You know, like, shouldn't that be enough?

[Josh Arnold]

What?

[Christy Lee]

Are you asking us for something?

[Josh Arnold]

Talk to him.

[Christy Lee]

He is hiding something.

[Josh Arnold]

Leave us alone.

[Allie Breen]

No, she said.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that.

[Allie Breen]

He said it's just because it's boring. She should air tag him.

[Christy Lee]

Well, obviously.

[Allie Breen]

Throw an air tag on him and.

[Christy Lee]

See what's going on. Air tag him?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait.

[Josh Arnold]

Don't act like you don't love that idea.

[Christy Lee]

I do not.

[Tom Griswold]

Josh has a great idea. Kids, Josh has a great idea. The new Ann Landers column. Hey, don't ask us any questions. Mind your own business. Stop writing me.

[Josh Arnold]

What do you want from us? How are we supposed to know what this guy's thinking or where he lives? Talk to him. Next. Yeah, that wouldn't be a very effective column.

[Tom Griswold]

This is kind of a cool mystery. I'm kind of wondering what's going on.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, maybe he does live at home. I like that scenario.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe he lives with it, like I.

[Christy Lee]

Said, and he's embarrassed because he's living with his parents again or something.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but maybe, you know, maybe his mom has something weird going on and.

[Allie Breen]

What if she's actually dating a 16 year old who lives at home?

[Christy Lee]

He's just pretending he's really mature for his age.

[Tom Griswold]

What just happened?

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, I don't know why you have to make it sexier story.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, next.

[Allie Breen]

Dear Ally, my girlfriend pays all the bills and fully supports me. She often doesn't want to have sex and if I push the issue, she starts to bring that up that I don't contribute. I told her those two things shouldn't be related. And if the genders were reversed, I'd get in trouble for basically trying to equate sex with money. What should I do?

[Josh Arnold]

Break up with this person?

[Christy Lee]

Yes, pretty much.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, my guess is she's probably exhausted from having two jobs to support your pathetic ass.

[Christy Lee]

Now why is she supporting him?

[Josh Arnold]

We don't know. He could be on. He could really be looking for jobs. We don't know.

[Christy Lee]

He could be a writer.

[Tom Griswold]

Not looking real hard. You've been around lately. You can't wait. You can't walk into a building without a help wanted sign.

[Christy Lee]

You got to try harder to seducer. It sounds like if you're not working, you've got more time on your hands to make it, you know, fancy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you got all day to MacGyver something to find that thing.

[Allie Breen]

Yeah. Figure it out.

[Josh Arnold]

Do a dish. Something, something to show. Get a job. We don't know anything about it. No, but we do know that you're following chick's advice. Use sex as a way.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah. You have to.

[Pat Godwin]

Always.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's right.

[Josh Arnold]

Sorry to hear it.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Good luck.

[Josh Arnold]

Sucks to be you. Now leave us alone one more time.

[Tom Griswold]

Stop writing us letters. Ali Breen is our guest. A L L I B R E E N on the variety of social media platforms.

[Christy Lee]

Letters. We won't have a second.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, of course, that's sort of. What else?

[Bob Kevoian]

We barely have one now.

[Pat Godwin]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

What else have we? Go ahead.

[Allie Breen]

Dear Ally, my boyfriend used to be obsessed with porn and is now obsessed with only fans. The porn thing didn't bother me, but the only fans thing has him interacting with girls in a way that I consider cheating. He says there's no difference. He also goes to Strip clubs. And that's way more intimate. And I'm just acting crazy. Who is correct here?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, that's. I think only fans is more intimate if you're actually.

[Allie Breen]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Communicating back and forth. If you're just watching tv, they don't know you.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Christy Lee]

They're like, anyone that's watching. Good for you.

[Josh Arnold]

I think that's a fair point. But. But rest assured, there have been some recent articles about only fans that are showing that he's not talking to the girl.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, that's true.

[Josh Arnold]

Talking to a dude in a cubicle.

[Jessica Alsman]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

And.

[Bob Kevoian]

More.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you got any more menthols? Yeah, I got a hot one online, too.

[Josh Arnold]

Right. This guy keeps tipping me. I got to keep pretending I'm this chick. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

He's one of these morons. I think these women actually like him. That's the problem.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, he may even be into it. He may not. You know, he. But yeah, I don't.

[Bob Kevoian]

But if she's this upset about it, you're right. You should probably talk about.

[Tom Griswold]

Does he have a job?

[Josh Arnold]

He should respect it.

[Tom Griswold]

At least if he's got a job, he's better than the last loser.

[Bob Kevoian]

Right.

[Allie Breen]

Also, if she was okay with him going to strip clubs. That is more. I mean, you're actually interacting with the person at a strip club.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

It sounds like she didn't like the strip clubs either, though, right?

[Josh Arnold]

That sounded neutral, but yeah, it did.

[Allie Breen]

Sound like that was part of the. That's okay.

[Christy Lee]

The only fans really bothers. I'm with Josh, though. I don't think that's a problem because I don't think a lot of those.

[Allie Breen]

Talking to the real person.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Might be nice to.

[Josh Arnold]

Because remember, Ali, when you start yours. The guys will actually be talking to me.

[Allie Breen]

Exactly. People might actually subscribe to talk to you, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

Wait a minute.

[Allie Breen]

After hearing this, I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

All right, so just pictures of you. Yeah. Look at Ali talk to Josh.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, would the guys. Then would they be talking to you about the pictures of Ally?

[Christy Lee]

I could talk about anything.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, they would be saying, hi, Ally, how are you today? And I would write back, I'm great. I just bought some new high heels. That kind of thing. Would you like to see pictures? And if they go, yes, here's 10 bucks. I'd have to quickly text Ali, quick, send me pictures of your high heels.

[Tom Griswold]

And Ally, you said there is one comedian who is doing only fans.

[Allie Breen]

Oh, I'm sure there's a few, but there's one that I know.

[Tom Griswold]

How's it going?

[Allie Breen]

Only fans that's she's making so much money.

[Tom Griswold]

Is she posing in provocative poses with no clothes on or.

[Allie Breen]

Oh, yeah, I think she goes full out. For sure. Yeah. Because she has jokes about how everyone has seen every part of her in the crowd. Pretty much.

[Tom Griswold]

This is an open mic.

[Pat Godwin]

It's Roseanne.

[Allie Breen]

You know comedy shows that are all naked comedy shows. Have you guys seen those? They have those in New York.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no kidding.

[Christy Lee]

They have all.

[Allie Breen]

Have you never seen that, Josh?

[Josh Arnold]

No. We've talked to comedians who've done nudist colony shows, but never an actual nude show like in New York City.

[Christy Lee]

And at the nudist places, they have the option. Right, but these people are nude on stage.

[Allie Breen]

They're nude on stage.

[Christy Lee]

The audience nude as well? Is the audience nude as well?

[Allie Breen]

No, no, no.

[Josh Arnold]

I actually did go. It was a bad. It was Louie Anderson. I wish I had. Wish I'd gone a different time.

[Bob Kevoian]

That was a while ago.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow. You had a couple years ago. Yeah, yeah, it was. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Notice you have bad teeth. Of course, you never. Staring at his sack on the way.

[Christopher]

In just a couple of minutes, another segment here on the Bob and Tom Show. Listener letters and a cow concert.

[Tom Griswold]

Come on back for that here on.

[Christopher]

The Bob and Tom Show. This is the best of the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. The gang is back in here live on Monday morning. Here's a listener letters segment, plus an L.L. bean Club car and a cow concert.

[Christy Lee]

I know this isn't where we do our letter segment, but we missed a letter that I think we need to.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I got a bunch of Woody. Go ahead.

[Christy Lee]

This is from Sean. Sean says, good morning, idiots. And Christy Lee.

[Josh Arnold]

Hello.

[Christy Lee]

I know how Tom loves a good wacky car. In New Hartford, New York, the new L.L. bean is having a grand opening. Big fan of the L.L. bean store.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Christy Lee]

They have the Bootmobile on site.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that sounds fun.

[Christy Lee]

Seen the boot mobile? It's probably in your email. Tom.

[Josh Arnold]

Kick ass.

[Christy Lee]

Spectacular, right?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you, Sean, for sharing.

[Tom Griswold]

Could we get all those vehicles together just once?

[Christy Lee]

That would be fun and have a race.

[Tom Griswold]

The wiener mobile we are working on. Do we have any luck with the banana guy? We're trying to get the banana mobile here.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

And that's the one where the. The. How do I describe this? It's like in a. Like in a biplane where the pilots up front and the passenger is right behind them. Yeah, but it's a giant banana. It's street legal.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, okay, I get the wiener mobile. The banana. The boot mobile.

[Christy Lee]

Familiar with the Bootmobile? This is pretty cool.

[Josh Arnold]

That is cool.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you, Sean.

[Tom Griswold]

They're all. They're all wonderful. Yeah. Have we finished our science segment today?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, we have finished our science segment.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, let's. Let's go ahead. What else have you got over there?

[Christy Lee]

Iceland has long been one of the rare places on Earth. Earth without mosquitoes. But mosquitoes have just been found for the very first time, I'm sure.

[Josh Arnold]

Climatologists.

[Tom Griswold]

I think it's actually. I think it's not. THEY SING. It's from a boat.

[Josh Arnold]

The clouds are dying.

[Christy Lee]

Matthias Alfonso, an entomologist, said three mosquitoes, two females and one male, were spotted around 20 miles north of Reynkovic.

[Josh Arnold]

They're just vacation.

[Tom Griswold]

He slaps it. No, no, there's only two left now.

[Christy Lee]

How do they know they didn't see the same one twice? He said their presence could indicate a recent introduction to the country, possibly via ships or containers. But more monitoring in the spring would be necessary to determine if they've spread further.

[Tom Griswold]

So they didn't get fooled by that Greenland Iceland thing?

[Christy Lee]

Apparently.

[Josh Arnold]

Apparently not. Well, they got fooled a little. They were all wearing little parkas, so it made them easier to spot.

[Tom Griswold]

When I was. I remember being in school and hearing the Greenland ice and thing, and I thought they were putting me on.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, then when you heard that it was.

[Christy Lee]

Ashley, I'm with you.

[Tom Griswold]

I thought they were going to. Tom is gullible enough to believe this. Everybody pretend this is the way it really happened.

[Josh Arnold]

Was it a Viking thing? Yes. Wasn't it? I believe to keep them from being attacked. Yeah, they switched.

[Christy Lee]

Makes sense.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

I mean, you're not gonna be able to pull that up on the. On the computer to see if they're telling me.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, like, here's what I like. What's his name? Like Epstein Island. I would have named it Snake Island. That way. That way. That'll keep the cops away and everybody else don't go there at Snake Island. Oh, gee, that's scary.

[Christy Lee]

A farm in the uk, as she said, really treated its cows to a jazz concert.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, how nice.

[Christy Lee]

According to the BBC, the Smith Hills Open Farm hired local band the Dickens Sexy Beets to play for their dairy cows.

[Pat Godwin]

They thought they were being booed, though. Did you hear the players?

[Christy Lee]

I did not know because it was.

[Pat Godwin]

Moo and they thought it was boo.

[Tom Griswold]

Then what happened?

[Christy Lee]

John Percival said they've been a captive audience because they don't get away from us, but they seem to like it. He added one or Two of them even had a taste of my trumpet, so they'll need a good cleaning when I'll get home.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Apparently, it's all about the cows. You don't oat milk when it comes to jazz.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a live album.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah. For you Miles Davis fans, they covered that kind of moo.

[Christy Lee]

I thought you were gonna say they're in the moo.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a cold train. It's a Coltrane thing. Live at Herdland. Any jazz fans out there? That was Coltrane, you see? Oh, no. John Caltrain, they call it.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Of course, as my musician friends would say. Well, look, a gig is a gig. Even though you're playing for the Cows.

[Josh Arnold]

Why were they doing it?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

The. The Cows. Like Moozik, anybody? Pat, come on.

[Bob Kevoian]

I. I can't help you. Huh?

[Tom Griswold]

What would you have played for them? Well, Rhythm Bulls.

[Josh Arnold]

I think I would have. Maybe a little Glenn Miller. Maybe some in the Mood.

[Christy Lee]

I just said that.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, you did?

[Josh Arnold]

When did you say it?

[Christy Lee]

Never mind.

[Josh Arnold]

I think you thought it.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, no, she said it.

[Christy Lee]

No, I said it.

[Tom Griswold]

The beauty of playing for Cows, it's the. The only time the audience appreciates a base.

[Christy Lee]

Hey. A bunny born without ears received a crocheted pair to help him blend in with his siblings.

[Tom Griswold]

Do we have the picture of this thing? This is hilarious.

[Christy Lee]

The little baby rabbit named Van Guff or Van Gogh was born at Smith Hills Open Farm in Bolton, England, where they had the damn band. Apparently, these people are in the news a lot. He was the only one of his litter without ears, so farmers wanted to make him replacements. Caitlin, a spokesperson for Smith Hills Open Farm, told the news service W swns. We crocheted him some ears for fun so that he could experience what it was like having ears, too. He only wears them for a short time when the farmers are there to supervise.

[Tom Griswold]

If we have a photo, look at the little guy. He looks like a guinea pig until they put the ears on him. But I'm envisioning a situation in which all the buddies are out in the yard, and he looks around going, hey, guys. Where you all.

[Bob Kevoian]

Where are you?

[Tom Griswold]

Y' all going? Because they hear a coyote coming. He's going, hey, what are you guys afraid of?

[Josh Arnold]

Or he does that thing where he's like, man, I sure hate that stupid coyote. Always. He's right behind me. Look at how cute that thing is. Pretty cute. Especially without the ears.

[Pat Godwin]

I think that's better.

[Jessica Alsman]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, little guy.

[Josh Arnold]

I love him.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they'll just keep him As a pet. Right. Even though he's dead?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, you would hope so.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Well. And is he even.

[Christy Lee]

And is he deaf?

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Christy Lee]

Good question.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. No, I'd say just the ear flaps that are.

[Josh Arnold]

What do you.

[Tom Griswold]

The ear flaps that are missing?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. He's so cute.

[Josh Arnold]

Him's a sweethead.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Does he. You think he's being ostracized by the other rabbits?

[Josh Arnold]

Maybe.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, look who's wearing a hat.

[Josh Arnold]

It's not Easter, you idiot. Boy, oh, boy. Well, worked for Steve Martin, didn't it?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. Yeah, looks just like that.

[Christy Lee]

A surprise visitor stopped by a downtown Bozeman watering hole this week. A black bear wandered through the outdoor seating area of Bozeman Spirits Distillery.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, how are you?

[Christy Lee]

Security footage shows the animal strolling past the patio tables before trotting across Main street and then disappearing into a nearby lot. The distillery posted the video online, joking that the bear was just looking for some huckleberry vodka to have back at his den for the winter. Wildlife officials say it's another remark reminder, though, that even in the heart of town, Montana is still bear country.

[Josh Arnold]

Ah.

[Tom Griswold]

I wrote a song.

[Josh Arnold]

You did?

[Tom Griswold]

B with an A and an A and an R. Bear run.

[Josh Arnold]

Bear run.

[Tom Griswold]

All you need is a grizzly. I gotta work on that.

[Josh Arnold]

It's a lion and tiger.

[Tom Griswold]

Bears.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my.

[Tom Griswold]

We can work on that, man. You know the old bear joke? The bear walks into a bar. Bear walks into barn and go, let me get a. And the bartender says, why the big pause?

[Josh Arnold]

I've never heard that one before. I love it.

[Tom Griswold]

See the hesitation there? Why, like, get me a. Never mind.

[Bob Kevoian]

Long pause.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, see? Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Pause. Oh, you would go long pause. That joke I heard was long, but they're not.

[Tom Griswold]

He doesn't have long, but has big paws. Why the big paws?

[Christy Lee]

Long paws.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm going big.

[Tom Griswold]

They're huge.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm going big.

[Bob Kevoian]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. If we're going to be that way, I have a criticism of your song, Pat.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, many do. So just jump on board.

[Tom Griswold]

Dear, dear. I have a criticism. Dear Bob and Tom show. I heard Mr. Godwin's song about being well hung. That was a great song, by the way. A parody of the Judy Garland Bye Bye Birdie, Bye Bye Birdie song. Put on happy face. Apparently there's the. Is the phrase in there Hung like a hamster?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Pat, out of curiosity, I Googled hamster genitalia. By the way, I don't know who this guy is, but, sir, when the FBI work. When the FBI comes to your house and they. They look, you've been looking up hamsters, and I tell you, that's got to be a crime in some state. He goes, I came across this. Male hamsters have disproportionately large testicles.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah. Those photos are out there, aren't they? They are, yeah. Yeah. Just a big old bag on the back of a hamster. Big old bag.

[Christy Lee]

People are looking at hamster balls.

[Josh Arnold]

You can't miss them. You are trying to look. Exactly. It was kind of a meme type thing.

[Tom Griswold]

Apparently there's a thing like, you know, some fireman runs into a burning house to rescue a kid and go, that guy's got hamster balls. Is that taken off yet?

[Josh Arnold]

But the song is about Peni, not balls.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. And you also have to use some poetic license to get hamster to rhyme with Daniel, sir.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. That was so good. Can we have you play that again in a couple minutes? I love.

[Bob Kevoian]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, it's good working with you, Josh.

[Tom Griswold]

No, when we come back, we're gonna have. I'm just gonna throw out random words, and we'll allow Josh to opine. Two minutes for each. For each one.

[Josh Arnold]

I love that.

[Christy Lee]

Josh would be great.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's try it real quick.

[Allie Breen]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

First word.

[Josh Arnold]

A time.

[Tom Griswold]

Long alarm clock. Go.

[Josh Arnold]

Boy, don't you hate alarm clocks? Wake you up in the morning. Sometimes they go off on a TV show and it makes you sick to your stomach. That was a good 20 seconds.

[Christopher]

Coming up next here on the Bob and Tom Show, Josh and his house cleaner and Duke Tomato and the Power Trio. But next, two Coke cans. What? You'll find out on the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christopher]

Happy New year from all of us here at the bottom.

[Tom Griswold]

Tom Show.

[Christopher]

This is Christopher speaking. The gang again is back in here on Monday morning with some live stuff. Well, we have two Coke cans. You put them together, and what do you get? Let's find out.

[Tom Griswold]

We have a kind of a sports update, I think. I think Chick wasn't here for the first part of this story.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Matt Khalil, who played for the Minnesota Vikings.

[Bob Kevoian]

I was not here for this story.

[Christy Lee]

His wife divorced. Ex wife. Yeah. Well, his. Yeah, ex wife.

[Tom Griswold]

I've got the quote. She said he was like, two Coke cans on top of each other, maybe a third, implying the size of his male member was.

[Josh Arnold]

That's 24 ounces.

[Christy Lee]

That's like the size of a Pringles. Can we just. We kind of determined three.

[Bob Kevoian]

Three Coke cans, 36 ounces.

[Christy Lee]

Yep. Well, guess what? Cam soda has offered Matt Khalil $300,000 to showcase his member online as part of its big confidence campaign.

[Josh Arnold]

You not just take that.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, you take it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Talk about leaving money on the table.

[Josh Arnold]

Show the world your d. Who cares?

[Bob Kevoian]

No one cares.

[Christy Lee]

Cam Soda Vice president Darren Parker said, quote, this campaign celebrates men who can laugh at themselves, turn viral moments into imp.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah, I know. If I were hung like a Pringles, can I. I. I would just laugh at myself.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, silly.

[Josh Arnold]

The ability to laugh at oneself.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hello, Eddie. May I see it?

[Tom Griswold]

He. He has.

[Bob Kevoian]

Since.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't have it in front of me, but I remember another story. It said that he has since remarried and I believe has a child.

[Christy Lee]

Well.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, I guess.

[Christy Lee]

I'm sure it works.

[Bob Kevoian]

It probably doesn't even have to.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm just guessing, by the way, that his new wife apparently has quite the cup holder.

[Josh Arnold]

So to speak.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, to continue the. To continue the analogy. You see, he's got a Coke.

[Josh Arnold]

She's built like a Stanley down there.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow, man, that's. But I. You can see why he wouldn't do it.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, I. I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

As a kid, I mean.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, okay.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, he does.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

But who cares?

[Pat Godwin]

Kids go to college.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

And a Pat was offered money because. Now, Pat, you were offered some cash because yours looks. Looks like a line of Coke.

[Pat Godwin]

It may be short, but it's thin. Yeah, it's a line of Coke.

[Josh Arnold]

And so pale, apparently.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, well, a line of Coke. I'm so sorry. You're the one that has the song Greek physique. Don't.

[Pat Godwin]

I know. I'm with you on this one.

[Josh Arnold]

That was funny. The narrator isn't always the writer.

[Bob Kevoian]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's a story about somebody else.

[Pat Godwin]

Badge of Courage, local color. It's called when you haven't really done that or been.

[Tom Griswold]

So we had a. We had a Johnny Tremaine reference last week. Now we're doing Red Badge of Courage.

[Pat Godwin]

He never actually was in the war.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, God.

[Bob Kevoian]

Ever read Touchdown for Tommy Boy? That's a great book.

[Josh Arnold]

Is it a good one?

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, that's a good one. He scores a touchdown.

[Josh Arnold]

I remember the mouse and the motorcycle. Remember that one?

[Bob Kevoian]

That's a great one.

[Josh Arnold]

A little mouse that rode a motorcycle.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wow.

[Josh Arnold]

Who doesn't want to read that?

[Bob Kevoian]

I want to read it. I want to see the mouse.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. Let's get back to Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk. What have we missed?

[Christy Lee]

The new poll reveals how long the average American's hospitality, typically weekly lasts, according to the Talker research survey. Of 2,000 U.S. adults, folks believe a guest is overstaying their welcome if they stay longer than. How many days?

[Josh Arnold]

Three.

[Christy Lee]

Five and a half, six days.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, you would have a guest at your house five and a half days?

[Bob Kevoian]

It's not me said. How much would I would think?

[Christy Lee]

Respondents said their children are able to stay for 10 days and parents have an eight day grace period before it becomes an important position. Girls, if you're listening, you're welcome to stay as long as you want in. Laws, however, are only welcome for five days. A third of respondents said that they drop hints to motivate their guests to leave.

[Tom Griswold]

Like not flushing the toilet.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do you have a.

[Tom Griswold]

In their room?

[Bob Kevoian]

Do you have a policy in place?

[Tom Griswold]

No, I just think.

[Christy Lee]

Do you have a lot of guests?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, yeah. But I mean. But I won't. I hate staying at anyone's house.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's a.

[Pat Godwin]

It's a bed and breakfast.

[Christy Lee]

Have you ever even been there?

[Bob Kevoian]

No.

[Christy Lee]

Me either.

[Tom Griswold]

No. Well, I mean, Josh, more than welcome to stay.

[Josh Arnold]

No, Ace, I've been there.

[Tom Griswold]

There you go. Now, I don't like staying in other people.

[Christopher]

You know, Don't.

[Bob Kevoian]

Don't mistake fear for friendship.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay, here's my friend.

[Tom Griswold]

The.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm sure that's the way.

[Tom Griswold]

Tom, do you like staying at other people's houses?

[Christy Lee]

Not particularly. I feel like I'm in the way all the time.

[Tom Griswold]

Even toward the end. I'd go to my mom's house. I'd stay at a hotel.

[Christy Lee]

But I. I like having guests.

[Josh Arnold]

Now you won't even stay at your mom's house.

[Christy Lee]

Why not stay at your mom's?

[Pat Godwin]

She's no longer with us. There's no house?

[Tom Griswold]

No, but I mean, crazy if.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hello, welcome.

[Christy Lee]

Even your old house, you're like.

[Tom Griswold]

I would stay there occasionally, but I. I really like being in a hotel and having. Especially when you've got kids running around.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, I'd never.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I see. It wasn't just you.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, No, I would love that. You don't.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I like having guests. I just don't like being one.

[Christy Lee]

Okay. Hosting can be a lot of work.

[Tom Griswold]

And if you're there after six days. Come on. That's unless someone makes it very clear that you want them there.

[Christy Lee]

While hosting can be a lot of work, 55 of Americans surveyed believe the work that goes into it is absolutely worth it.

[Josh Arnold]

Sure.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Boy, they were on. They're wrong.

[Tom Griswold]

I think the analogy would be house guests are like tampons.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

You shouldn't be using one for more than six days a month.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. You don't what those fair in. In laws. Toxic shock they call it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. I would never stay at anyone's house that I know. Never anyone, ever.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I like staying at my brothers because then I wake up and the nieces and nephews are there.

[Christy Lee]

I love having my kids home, but.

[Josh Arnold]

I also like staying at a hotel.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Your own kids.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That's different. What did they say? What was the. For an adult children.

[Christy Lee]

What was the adult children? 10 days. Parents have an 8 day grace period before it becomes an inf composition.

[Tom Griswold]

But in today's world, a lot of times they're moving back in.

[Allie Breen]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Like the Italians do.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, like the Italians.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm sorry, I kind of lost the thread.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a famous cultural thing in Italy.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, it's also a famous cultural thing with Asians, with. Yeah, the Jewish faith. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's an Italian thing.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wait a minute.

[Josh Arnold]

What?

[Pat Godwin]

Very Irish to go in your mom's basement.

[Bob Kevoian]

Let's shine a little light on this. Now, what is your contention? The Italian people are the only ones.

[Tom Griswold]

We had a new story about this a few years ago. Italian men is what Italian men tend to live at their parents house until they get married and that the age of that is going up and up and up and it's a bit.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is that right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, we did. We had a news story about.

[Christy Lee]

I can tell he's right about. I do.

[Josh Arnold]

That's just different from moving out and then moving back in with your family to never leave with them.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, mom, we got chicken or what?

[Tom Griswold]

Exactly.

[Christy Lee]

You have a song for us, Pat?

[Pat Godwin]

Tom asked me to favor you guys with a tune that kind of relate. Relates to this. At Thanksgiving and only 17 the cherry Cokes. Don't tell our folks our rum and grenadine. You know who's responsible for our inebriation? Dad's younger brother, drunk at every occasion. Drunken uncle pisses off your mom. The one who buys you beer for your senior prom. Drunken uncle, an uncle sick on the.

[Josh Arnold]

Side of the road.

[Pat Godwin]

Christmas day, spent the night hugging the commode. Christmas day, spent the night hugging the commode. I'm an uncle now and have lots of nephews and nieces. I give them a sip of beer and they love me all to pieces. I sing them silly songs, tell them dirty jokes I give them a shot on New Year's Eve and say please don't tell your folks, hey. Drunk and uncle one in every family.

[Bob Kevoian]

The trio brothers.

[Pat Godwin]

The odds are one in three. My brother chimneys a judge, Jack's a PhD with bloodshot eyes. I realized the drunken uncle's.

[Josh Arnold]

Be with bloodshot eyes. He realized the drunken uncle's.

[Pat Godwin]

Thank you, Josh.

[Tom Griswold]

Drunk.

[Bob Kevoian]

Drunken uncle.

[Pat Godwin]

Drunk and uncle.

[Bob Kevoian]

Drunken uncle.

[Pat Godwin]

When he's on the blast I fall into the cake and grab your mother's ass. Drunk and uncle. I think I'm real funny. But no one laughs when they lend me a grand and never get back their money.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no one laughs when they lend them a grand and never get back their money.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, he's better, Joe. I always forget to do that. Yeah, that's. It is. It is the season for the drunken uncle to come over and.

[Christy Lee]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

Slip the kids the. The key to the liquor cabinet. There's also the thing that Thanksgiving where certain people wander off about an hour before mealtime. We're going for a walk.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I. This happens at his house. Of course.

[Christy Lee]

What are you talking about?

[Josh Arnold]

We've all met Willie. He's going on let's go get high before dinner.

[Jessica Alsman]

You there.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

So Willie told me that Thanksgiving dinner. You guys always did do a walk before dinner.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. That's smoky.

[Bob Kevoian]

And that's when Willie would say that. Yeah. You know, fire up a fatty and get relaxed.

[Tom Griswold]

Was I want. Wasn't it? I. I don't know for sure. Was it Benjamin Franklin that said something like guests are like fish? After three days, they're beginning to smell something to that effect.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm not too sure.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Benjamin Franklin is somewhat of a busy body. Okay. But I mean, keep your nose out of my business. He sure did.

[Josh Arnold]

Man.

[Bob Kevoian]

Worst president we ever.

[Tom Griswold]

But I like his money. What's the longest someone stayed at your place?

[Christy Lee]

Not including children?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, boy. Probably a week.

[Tom Griswold]

A week?

[Jessica Alsman]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

My Uncle Joe came. Yeah. For probably a week.

[Tom Griswold]

That go well?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. He's great.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now, is this the Uncle Joe that was moving kind of slow at the junction? At the junction.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. That's okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's what I thought.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Petticoat Junction.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Day.

[Pat Godwin]

We're high at the holidays and only 17. The gummy bears and brownie squares are filled with THC. You know who is responsible for our intoxication? Dad's younger brother.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi.

[Pat Godwin]

At every occasion. Smokey uncle in our Porta Pie. Mom is really pissed. She says, look at that bastard's eyes. Yeah. Smoky Uncle Manny's real fried. Every 20 minutes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

He goes to smoke outside.

[Tom Griswold]

A little sequel. Thank you.

[Christopher]

Coming back in just a minute with Duke Tomato and the Power Trio in the building. It's coming up next on the Bob and Tom show.

[Bob Kevoian]

Following is a paid advertisement for the Joe Jefferson Vocabulary Builder Upper. The Bob and Tom show does not endorse this product nor any claims made by Jeff Joseph or anyone affiliated with him.

[Tom Griswold]

Here's something new from the creator of the Joe Johnson Memory System. Hello, I'm Jack Johnson. I get letters from thousands of happy customers who have used my memory system.

[Josh Arnold]

To improve their memory.

[Tom Griswold]

I get faxes, emails, phone calls and I even get thousands of letters from happy customers all of whom have used my memory system to improve their memories remembering ability. But are you beware that people often judgment you based upon the size of your vocabulary?

[Pat Godwin]

It's true if you have a teensy.

[Tom Griswold]

Weensy vocabulary, people might exhume that you are some kind of diseducated Mormon. That's why I have come up with this new thing that I call the Jeff Johnson Vocabulary Builder Upper. Yes, the Jerry Jenkins Vocabulary Builder Upper can make you seem intelligence.

[Josh Arnold]

Does it work?

[Tom Griswold]

Just listen to these ceremonials.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's right Joe. My vocabulary used to be small.

[Josh Arnold]

I only used a fracture of the.

[Tom Griswold]

Words and phrases available in the English language.

[Bob Kevoian]

Then I recovered the Jim Johansen Vocabulary Builder Upper and increased my vocabulary significantly.

[Tom Griswold]

In fact, I'm now up for a demotion at work.

[Bob Kevoian]

Thanks Jake Jamison.

[Christy Lee]

I had yet to furnish college when I relapsed that my vocabulary was very very not large. I was strangling with my classes when I heard about the John Jennings Vocabulary Builder up. In just a few weeks I had learned 800 new words and their defecations.

[Josh Arnold]

Thanks Jimmy Jackson.

[Bob Kevoian]

Ever since I took the Jan Jenner Vocabulary Builder Upper curse, I've been able to have really deep conversations with my friends and my co workers I work with at work. It's also helped me with my clienteles during meetings I sound way more classier.

[Tom Griswold]

Than I used to.

[Bob Kevoian]

They often ask me if I intended.

[Tom Griswold]

One of them extensive Ivy League universals.

[Josh Arnold]

Believe it or not, I didn't.

[Bob Kevoian]

Jake Jorgensen, you're a genius.

[Tom Griswold]

The Jacob Johanson Vocabulary Builder Upper is way more successful than any other program. In fact, I'll garnish it works or my name's not Jack Jilson. Don't just take my word for it. I've gathered this group of recent graduals to get their assertment. What do you satisfactory customs have to say?

[Bob Kevoian]

Thanks James.

[Tom Griswold]

You're welcome. My Vocabulary Builder Upper is my best ideal ever. In fact I am so condiment that.

[Josh Arnold]

It will work for you.

[Tom Griswold]

I will offer a 30 day money back thingy.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

If you do not learn at least 200 new words in 30 days.

[Josh Arnold]

I will give you a deplete refund.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember, you too can impale your friends vocabulary and build up your self extreme. You too can enchant your position in your company and receive the ignition you.

[Josh Arnold]

Reserve for your debilities.

[Tom Griswold]

Call for the Jackie Jackson vocabulary builder upper today. Okay, That's a take, Mr. Jensen. Great, thanks. Hey, did this micrometer sound okay?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, it was fine.

[Bob Kevoian]

To order the Josh Jacobs vocabulary builder upper, pick up that thing you talk into and call 1-800- what's the word I'm looking for? Thanks, J.

[Christopher]

More of the best of the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Duke Tomato and the Power Trio are in the house.

[Tom Griswold]

We are having some special guests watching us this morning. And we've got Duke Tomato and the boys live. And we just heard from the Steven Singer Singers in honor of Mr. Singer being here. Fun morning and I am enjoyed the flute that Jay Young was playing that's been added to the Steven Singer song.

[Josh Arnold]

And that guy's good. Get any woodwind or brass in front of him. He knows what to do.

[Tom Griswold]

That's very nice. Very nice. And we're gonna get a song out of Duke in a matter of moments.

[Bob Kevoian]

Just try and keep his mouth off Duke.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's take a short break. We'll get a song out of you in just a few minutes. Okay?

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm going to do this next world record in the sports cast under protest.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Bob Kevoian]

You will. It will be coming. It will become obvious almost immediately what my problem is with this. There are many, many problems with this world record. Okay, here we go. Stupid world record. A Polish woman.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Has broken the Guinness world record for the longest duration full body contact with ice. Katz. Can't. Can't hang on.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm gonna hang ill. Yeah, I'm gonna get it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Katazinia.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, but I don't feel anything.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. No, it's.

[Christy Lee]

Huh.

[Tom Griswold]

It's Qatar Zinnia. There's an.

[Christy Lee]

Are there?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Jacobowska.

[Tom Griswold]

The J is. The J is pronounced like a Y.

[Bob Kevoian]

Stood submerged to her neck.

[Tom Griswold]

Katarzinia Yakoboiska stood submerged to her neck.

[Bob Kevoian]

And ice for 3:06:45 to a chance achieve the record.

[Tom Griswold]

Her husband's name is Dick. Is in you.

[Josh Arnold]

Steven, behave yourself.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm just reporting to the story. What was her name? That's a little known fact in that news story.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, thank you. According to Guinness, this record has only been achieved by men in the past.

[Tom Griswold]

Good for her.

[Bob Kevoian]

The male record is held by. Oh, for the love.

[Tom Griswold]

That. Another Polish person, Kristoff Gajevsky.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, there's. There's another syllable in Kristoff.

[Tom Griswold]

It's. There's a. There's an Associated Press pronouncer there.

[Bob Kevoian]

Christisoft, kaji.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Ky.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's.

[Tom Griswold]

Y, E, V, G. You know.

[Bob Kevoian]

There'S a J in it.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, that's why. And police.

[Christy Lee]

Police.

[Josh Arnold]

That's the official language. Please.

[Bob Kevoian]

Please.

[Tom Griswold]

So this lady is essentially standing in ice water.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. That's tough.

[Tom Griswold]

Just her face sticking out and she's. By the way, she is extremely attractive.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, that makes it not over. Not. Not overweight at all.

[Josh Arnold]

Right, well.

[Tom Griswold]

And she was.

[Christy Lee]

I can't see because she's only from.

[Tom Griswold]

Her neck, but she was tested for both performance and has. In his experiencing drugs and having witches boobs.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah, Those can get real cold.

[Bob Kevoian]

And the tin bra. She was wearing a tin bra?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And. And her husband Dick goes in you.

[Bob Kevoian]

Why?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it's plural now. Oh, sorry.

[Josh Arnold]

She's very accommodating.

[Bob Kevoian]

What is that dvd?

[Christy Lee]

Dvda.

[Josh Arnold]

Why are witch's boobs.

[Christy Lee]

So we have a guess. I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

Aren't they swinging over a bubbling cauldron most of the time? I think that some of that steel.

[Tom Griswold]

Where that came from, you have to look into that.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

And isn't there a brass monkey involved in that thing?

[Josh Arnold]

Brass monkey? That funky monkey.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't. Isn't there temperature related to a brass monkey's.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, some yard art. That is a brass monkey. And he has testicles. And if it reaches a certain. No, like, they go off a certain air temperature. The testicles fall off the monkey. They do, yes.

[Josh Arnold]

I hope so.

[Bob Kevoian]

That absolutely exists. I think I saw it like a Sky Mall catalog.

[Christy Lee]

I think I'm looking that up.

[Josh Arnold]

Is that one shark tank? Wasn't it?

[Tom Griswold]

Is there some kind of witches?

[Josh Arnold]

For those reasons, I think, Lori, I.

[Bob Kevoian]

Have my golden ticket just for you. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So that happens.

[Bob Kevoian]

So why don't they have a witch with a tin bra you can put out in your yard?

[Tom Griswold]

Who knows? In any event, this lady has the world record, so congratulations.

[Bob Kevoian]

Look up decorative monkey.

[Christy Lee]

I am. There's tons of monkey.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wouldn't it.

[Tom Griswold]

Wouldn't there be a danger that you would die standing in ice water for three hours?

[Christy Lee]

I would think.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm sure she was regulated. They were regulating something while she was doing it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Regulators mound up.

[Christy Lee]

But how would they do that? That would.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I thought they didn't allow records where you could potentially die.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, that's not the case at all. Guinness is taking names.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you remember the one a couple years ago?

[Bob Kevoian]

They love cheating. Dad.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you remember the world. They were having the World Sauna Competition.

[Christy Lee]

And they had to quit doing that one.

[Tom Griswold]

That's because one of the guy. Well, the guy that won. He kind of won.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, he died.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, he cooked his liver.

[Tom Griswold]

He was still in there.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember this?

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

The guy literally baked.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, no, that's. You can't. You don't win if you die.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh. You have to be breathing.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. I think. You have to be alive. You lose.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, this is. This is just the opposite.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Any update on the brass monkey decorative yard art? I want. I'm. Somebody's gonna make this for me. I know that.

[Christy Lee]

So. See, you made that up.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, let's. Let's.

[Bob Kevoian]

Pretty good lie, though.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that sports?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes, that's sports.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much.

[Christy Lee]

This is what you perceive when we go.

[Bob Kevoian]

Whatever you do, always be a good sport.

[Christy Lee]

Christy, a Reddit user going viral after claiming their flight was delayed due to a passenger's excessive flatulence. Yep. The alleged incident occurred on an American Airlines flight.

[Josh Arnold]

Wasn't me this time.

[Christy Lee]

From Phoenix to Austin. Following the boarding process, they overheard a man loudly say, quote, you thought that was rude. Well, what about this smell? And farted.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

He's letting him have it, apparently.

[Tom Griswold]

I was reading about this.

[Christy Lee]

Can I finish the guy?

[Tom Griswold]

This all started, I guess, just. This is. This is one of my pet peeves. The people got on the plane with a bunch of food, and the food really stunk. The guy in like a.

[Bob Kevoian]

Like a teriyaki chicken. Subway with extra onions or.

[Josh Arnold]

So people complained. And he said, if you think that's rude.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

There was allegedly.

[Christy Lee]

There was a back and forth between the person dubbed Fartman and several other passengers before flight attendants stepped in and the plane began preparing for takeoff. The user wrote, the plane suddenly stopped on the Runway. The pilot announced they would be returning to the gate.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Christy Lee]

A flight attendant informed man he would have to get off the plane, to the relief of the other passengers.

[Josh Arnold]

A playwright. Got one. Didn't hear it.

[Jessica Alsman]

Thank you.

[Christy Lee]

The incident, about half an hour?

[Bob Kevoian]

Don't think so.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, you've got to do those back to back as quick as you can.

[Bob Kevoian]

I. I think it'll cut it off because they're both kind of short, so it'll go.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Thank you very much. Next.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm so happy.

[Tom Griswold]

I wonder if the. If the masks would come down. Is that.

[Josh Arnold]

No I don't think.

[Tom Griswold]

Are those triggered by, I think just.

[Josh Arnold]

The lack of oxygen. Ye.

[Tom Griswold]

Got a couple technical questions. As it happens, we do happen to have Stephen Singer in the studio with us from ihatestevensinger.com because Mr. Singer is not just a professional jeweler, he is a newsmaker. Made the news last week when you made a, I guess a proposal, if you will, to Taylor Swift and her boyfriend, Mr. Kelsey, that you suggested the possibility of a ring that you have designed and actually possessed that is worth $1 million. Correct. Got a letter. Okay. Now first of all, I'm not all that conversant with the language of jewelry.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, we've noticed.

[Tom Griswold]

Although in my day, I.

[Bob Kevoian]

In my day you've purchased some.

[Tom Griswold]

We purchased some. The point being, you mentioned the side diamonds on the diamond engagement rings.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

This particular one we designed has a one main stone and two side stones that match it.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Okay. For me a side stone would be like Mick Taylor. Right. The Rolling Stone.

[Josh Arnold]

That is silly.

[Tom Griswold]

But got this letter, Stephen. It says Mr. Singer may want to upgrade those side diamonds because apparently the ring should cost 3 months salary. Travis makes 14.3 million a year just from the NFL. That doesn't include all his side endorsements. So now is. What is that whole thing about the so many months? What is that? Where did it come from? You want the truth or the.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, I want a big lie.

[Tom Griswold]

The myth and then the truth. The Beers who used to control 80% of the world's rough diamonds made up an advertising slogan that you should spend two months salary should be that which should be your guide. So whatever two month salary, it was just made up. It's. It's like advertising agents in the 50s and 60s said breakfast most important meal of the day. It's complete nonsense. It's just an advertising myth that they made up and based on people that used to work on a farm like that. So the two months breakfast important.

[Josh Arnold]

And the female orgasm, all myths?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, not all those, but just some of them. But yes. So it, but it's a, it's a fine guide. And if you use that, then Taylor Swift would have to spend like 10 times this. I mean, mean, it's. I think she, she made over a billion billion dollars or something like that. Well, she doesn't buy her own engagement guy salary.

[Christy Lee]

Right, the guy.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, even his salary would be. We'd have to, we'd have to go up there. This is downsizing for her. But yeah, that's true.

[Christy Lee]

She doesn't like gaudy. That'd Be gaudy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there's. There comes a point where enough is enough. It's really the thought that counts, Right?

[Christy Lee]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, this is right up there with Bell's ring and J. Lo's ring.

[Josh Arnold]

Apparently, it's not the thought that counts.

[Christy Lee]

What is it?

[Josh Arnold]

Because, Christy, you were saying that most women would be upset if they were given an engagement ring that the man acquired for free.

[Christy Lee]

So it's not the thought you gotta have.

[Tom Griswold]

Some women wanted to hurt a little bit. Time to squeeze in another quick news story. Christy, what do you got?

[Christy Lee]

A man who paid more than $15,000 to transform himself into a dog has opened up about being sad about the misconception around him becoming a dog.

[Tom Griswold]

Dog.

[Christy Lee]

The man from Japan calls himself Toko. He says he has spent a staggering 2 million yen or about $15,000 on a full size human collie costume, so he could look like his favorite breed of canine and fulfill his lifelong ambition of becoming a dog.

[Josh Arnold]

Really?

[Christy Lee]

However, Toko has shared the reality behind that journey, admitting that he gets upset when trolls do judge him. He says he feared coming out in real life because of the reaction he gets and said, quote, I rarely tell my friends because I'm afraid they will think I'm weird.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, we've just posted a photograph of.

[Bob Kevoian]

That is something.

[Josh Arnold]

It's very realistic.

[Tom Griswold]

It looks like a stuffed collie.

[Josh Arnold]

Sure.

[Christy Lee]

Here's a video of him rolling around and doing trees.

[Josh Arnold]

When he's, like, moving and stuff, it looks. At first glance, you'd go, oh, there's a dog.

[Tom Griswold]

Is this guy a midget or something? How's he get into that concert?

[Bob Kevoian]

Hang on a second.

[Tom Griswold]

What the hell is going on? What?

[Bob Kevoian]

Stevenson. He brings up a good point. What the hell is going on here?

[Josh Arnold]

Smaller man.

[Tom Griswold]

But I don't.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, he's not a puppy.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, I think the weird. The weird part is he takes himself so seriously just to do the right thing, he got himself neutered.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that's good. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

If you see this video, I mean, he's scratching at the door.

[Bob Kevoian]

He's got to be humping, right? That would have to be the. The number one.

[Christy Lee]

He's not humping.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, yeah. Later on in the video, his master comes up and whacks him the face with a newspaper because he pooped in the living room.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, your bucket list, though, if you're going to be a dog, and let's say that's bucket list item number one, Right. Number two, it would have to be humping. Humping something, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. And you know, he's crapping in the yard.

[Bob Kevoian]

What is he trying to get in?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, he's trying to get in there. He's drinking. Oh, he's drinking a soda.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah, soda.

[Christy Lee]

Sir.

[Bob Kevoian]

He's got a. He's got a cherry Coke there, it looks like. What's.

[Tom Griswold]

What's going on?

[Josh Arnold]

He doesn't get to have that.

[Tom Griswold]

This is crazy. Okay, are there any pictures of the guy when he does?

[Christy Lee]

No, he says he won't show his face because he doesn't want people at his workplace to know that he does this at home.

[Bob Kevoian]

So is that a suit he had made or is it a carcass?

[Tom Griswold]

$15,000.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, he had it made. $15,000.

[Josh Arnold]

It's not a carcass. Rick Baker, actually, the Oscar winner. Rick Baker made it.

[Allie Breen]

I remember.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, the werewolf movie with David Naughton.

[Tom Griswold]

When they.

[Bob Kevoian]

When he turned into. I lost my mind. This guy's actually turning into a dog.

[Christy Lee]

He actually goes on walks with his. They'll put a leash on him, and he'll go for a walk, all right?

[Josh Arnold]

I don't want to hear about him until he's down.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's exactly what the other dogs are saying.

[Tom Griswold]

All right?

[Bob Kevoian]

What the hell is this?

[Tom Griswold]

Does he lift his leg when he.

[Christy Lee]

Is out on the walk?

[Tom Griswold]

What's going on there?

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, why did the boy dogs do the. The with their back feet when they get done using the bathroom, and the girl dogs don't?

[Tom Griswold]

It depends dog to dog.

[Bob Kevoian]

I have never had a dog that did the. With their back feet. Try to butter you that with his back feet.

[Tom Griswold]

No, he does it at night in the bed. He goes like crazy, like the Three Stooges. Like, he's doing, like, the Curly Shuffle. Yeah, he goes like crazy. And then I read online, it's that dogs do that before they go to sleep. They. They, like, are getting the.

[Bob Kevoian]

The.

[Tom Griswold]

Their space ready, and he goes bananas. You look. He's doing the Curly Shuffle every night, but not when he goes to the bathroom.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's beautiful.

[Tom Griswold]

This guy, I'm guessing, is a bachelor. I don't know.

[Christy Lee]

I would. It doesn't go into that, but I would.

[Josh Arnold]

Look, you're gonna be judged, sir. You just gotta not. You gotta not worry about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just shake it off, like when you're wet.

[Christy Lee]

Speaking of dogs, do you ever wonder what your dog likes to watch on television?

[Josh Arnold]

No, no, never.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm certain of. They like exactly what I like.

[Christy Lee]

Well, according to a study published recently in the journal Applied Animal Behavior, your science, dogs are most engaged when watching videos that Feature other dogs. Other animals. Exactly.

[Bob Kevoian]

Isn't there a scene in the fabulous movie Scrooge where Robert Mitchum plays the TV executive?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And he tells Bill Murray, you know what we need to do? We've got the numbers back. There's an amazing number of cats watching television.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

What we need is a private detective with a ball of string that he holds.

[Josh Arnold]

Maybe that's his gimmick.

[Bob Kevoian]

He says that's his gimmick. So he holds it in front of the tv.

[Josh Arnold]

He insists that they put mice in the Christmas carol so cats will watch. And then it cuts to a shot of a mouse in the Christmas Carol, and the cat's going crazy. He's like, see? Proofs is.

[Bob Kevoian]

There you go. Homerun.

[Christy Lee]

This study is part of an overall effort to develop better ways to check canine vision, which we talked about yesterday, I believe, which researchers say is sorely lacking in veterinary medicine. My dogs go ballistic when other animals come on the television.

[Bob Kevoian]

Really?

[Christy Lee]

They'll jump at the tv. It's incredible. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Bob Kevoian]

Mine do not care.

[Christy Lee]

But then I have another dog. The boy dog likes to watch football. He'll follow the game.

[Josh Arnold]

My cat likes to watch hockey.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

She just loves how the puck goes.

[Christy Lee]

Around her head moves.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, now, if you have a girl pet, they're gonna like to watch the cheerleaders and whatever. Whatever sport you're watching, not the actual sport.

[Josh Arnold]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

They look for what they are.

[Bob Kevoian]

You can identify with the cheerleaders.

[Tom Griswold]

My boy dogs. Right now I've got the two girl dogs on the boy dog. My boy dog likes to watch soap operas.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Because of all the.

[Christopher]

We're gonna hear next about how Josh is nervous about his house cleaner. It's coming up next. This is the Bob and Tom. Welcome back to the Best of the Bob and Tom Show. This is Christopher speaking from the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs, get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Apparently Josh in this segment is nervous about his house cleaner. Let's get the details.

[Tom Griswold]

There's Patty G. Willie G. I'm Thomas, graduate of Mrs. Batzer's dancing.

[Josh Arnold]

I love that so much.

[Tom Griswold]

I hope somebody out there that else went there that week.

[Josh Arnold]

Wouldn't that be great to hear from.

[Tom Griswold]

Them every once in a while? I'll get. I'll talk about something and I'll get a letter. I talked about my camp. I went to a different camp than Willie. And I hear from Guys that went to camp. Hey, Owenta. On Torch Lake all the time.

[Bob Kevoian]

Please, please.

[Josh Arnold]

On Torch Lake, no less.

[Pat Godwin]

Made up.

[Tom Griswold]

That had to been gorgeous, beautiful lake.

[Bob Kevoian]

I in the world.

[Tom Griswold]

A comedian. Buddy of mine went to camp. Hey, Winter. And when he told me, I could not believe it.

[Bob Kevoian]

A guy in Chicag ago.

[Allie Breen]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yesterday, Willie got a. Got a letter from.

[Josh Arnold]

It was from someone, a woman that.

[Tom Griswold]

Works in a different state with the guy that I got my first golden retriever from. Talk about a small world.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Did your dad have a dog named Elvis? And his chick will tell you. Elvis, the greatest golden retriever ever. Along with Mrs. Gibbs. Mrs. Gibbs.

[Josh Arnold]

They're both dead, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they're both dead.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, mine. It's unexplained death.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that was where we're going.

[Josh Arnold]

I just wanted to ask if they were okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, well, that's fine. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Mysterious circumstances.

[Tom Griswold]

Now I leave the house. So during the break, I walk in here, and Josh is whining.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I'm.

[Tom Griswold]

Because I have made arrangements for.

[Bob Kevoian]

You've made arrangements?

[Josh Arnold]

This is not true at all. He gave me her phone number.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, I made arrangements for Josh to find somewhere out of your house.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

I talked about how my shower was in pretty rough shape, and I couldn't stand the whining.

[Tom Griswold]

This is at a whining. We have Erica go clean.

[Bob Kevoian]

You gave him a phone number. You didn't arrange for anything, Right?

[Josh Arnold]

So he got me the number. I call. Or she. Actually, you know what? She got in touch with me before I could even call her. She had heard, and she said on.

[Tom Griswold]

My phone, I can do share contact. Do you think that's. And I figured there was all the whining I was getting from Josh. If I gave her the number, she'd probably get a hold of you. And she did. She did, because she is proactive.

[Josh Arnold]

She's very proactive.

[Tom Griswold]

You've been stalling on this. Your shower, which is like a petri dish for some Spiro Keat festival.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, you're not wrong. Yeah, it's.

[Tom Griswold]

She's gonna have to go in there with a hazmat suit and a chisel to get all the.

[Josh Arnold]

She's got her work chisel, if you.

[Tom Griswold]

Will, off of the chisel and chisel.

[Josh Arnold]

That's what my concern is, is I.

[Tom Griswold]

Don'T like someone in your house when you're not there.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm just. I'm. I'm uncomfortable. Today's the first day that she's gonna be cleaning the house, and I'm a little uncomfortable.

[Tom Griswold]

What Is she gonna. Did you warn her about any of the dummies? And you have various, like, puppets at your house?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no, none of that. None of that will be. I have an office where those are, and she does not have to go in there.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you tell her that?

[Josh Arnold]

I will, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Did you clean before she got there?

[Josh Arnold]

See, I started to, and I went, what am I doing? But I also am embarrassed by, like, my bathroom mirror. It's got. It's mostly toothpaste. Toothpaste, yeah. That's not.

[Tom Griswold]

That's not.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, right.

[Josh Arnold]

Take that, Josh.

[Tom Griswold]

I yell, josh is singing.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, I've got rhythm.

[Tom Griswold]

This is crutch. Toothpaste.

[Josh Arnold]

And then, you know, she has to sweep up my leg hair on the bathroom floor.

[Pat Godwin]

Why is your leg hair.

[Josh Arnold]

I. I. My legs shed, like, shaving or something? My legs shed like a.

[Tom Griswold]

No. Is it. Did you stop? Is there, like, a Maginot line of shaving when you get down there?

[Josh Arnold]

My legs.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

No, I don't shave my legs.

[Christy Lee]

He said they shed. Do you not listen?

[Josh Arnold]

No, he doesn't listen. He hears what he wants to hear. Right now, he just heard me say cupcakes and porn.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's exactly what he's in. Porno.

[Josh Arnold]

I've always been fascinated by people who tidy up their house before the house cleaner comes over or tidy up their hotel room before the folks do that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I think it's kind of standard. I think that's what you want to make sure. For instance, if you were to deposit any in a tissue or a Kleenex.

[Josh Arnold]

They can deal with that if it's in the small trash can.

[Tom Griswold]

But don't leave it on the counter for him. Don't leave it on the table for him. I know a guy, you know, Andy Andrew. When he goes to a hotel, he's a touring musician. He will tip the maid to not clean the room and then get a key to the cleaning area so he can do it himself. Oh, my God.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, that's. Yeah. I mean, that's a whole other.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, he's.

[Christy Lee]

He's ocd, but that's another thing.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm pretty sure he's just doing that.

[Josh Arnold]

To avoid getting a smoking fee, though. So you do know Andy. You know Andy.

[Tom Griswold]

Throw him under the bus.

[Josh Arnold]

You're right. So, yeah, I'm a little nerd. I mean, it's just. I don't want to be, you know, she has to judge some things.

[Tom Griswold]

Of course she does.

[Josh Arnold]

It's good.

[Pat Godwin]

She did My Place Wednesday, and so there.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, first of all, there you go.

[Christy Lee]

So wait a minute.

[Tom Griswold]

She's clean. Godwin's place, Willie's place. Therefore, she's obviously house cleaning money.

[Christy Lee]

Come on.

[Josh Arnold]

Did he pay for it?

[Pat Godwin]

Is that of your business?

[Josh Arnold]

I'm. I'll tell you this. I am paying for my own. I know you are.

[Pat Godwin]

Pat didn't.

[Josh Arnold]

I am.

[Pat Godwin]

I am, actually.

[Bob Kevoian]

This is an outrage.

[Josh Arnold]

It's fine. I'm making 22. 5 a year. Look, here's the deal.

[Bob Kevoian]

And that's each and every year.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no, wait a minute. That's. That's. That's not. You got to take out the taxes.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, that's true.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, man.

[Tom Griswold]

By the way, do you guys tip Josh after every show? I give him about 20 bucks after I go.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yes. You do tip me.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

As I understand, it's. Yeah. Tradition.

[Christy Lee]

I had no idea.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

If you ruined this for me.

[Bob Kevoian]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

See, why are you nervous?

[Pat Godwin]

This.

[Tom Griswold]

This woman is not going to be going through. I can only.

[Josh Arnold]

And also, what if I.

[Tom Griswold]

What is in your drawers?

[Christy Lee]

She's not going to go through your drawers.

[Tom Griswold]

Of course she is.

[Pat Godwin]

I asked her to go through mine.

[Tom Griswold]

What's in. What's in the. Do you have a bed stand, if you will?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I have like three of. I have a dresser. And then I have two nightstands by.

[Tom Griswold]

On either side of the bed. Is there anything unusual in them that you'd be ashamed of?

[Josh Arnold]

Now, in one of my. In my tall dresser, there is a. What I call my doctor Sadie Allen Allison drawer. She comes in every now and again to this show and she teaches us about.

[Tom Griswold]

She has these so called marital aids. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

And she's given me quite a few. And they are in a drawer.

[Tom Griswold]

And I shall know which drawer that is, obviously because you have the 220 line hooked up. Hooked up to the side of the bureau. So you can keep the intruder 9,000 charged.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

And then. And then there's the. These. There's the drum of lubricant with. With the pump top.

[Josh Arnold]

No, I need the friction. You know that.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm sure she's used to all this.

[Josh Arnold]

So she's gonna be.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

But I've also. Tell me if I'm being a total monster here. I have. There are like three things that need cleaning that aren't very obvious. And I'm not gonna tell her about them. I want to see if she gets to them. Oh, it's a test. I'm sure the test.

[Bob Kevoian]

Quality.

[Josh Arnold]

Quality.

[Bob Kevoian]

Quality control.

[Josh Arnold]

I like it. Right. No, tell her.

[Christy Lee]

Now. She's probably hearing this and she's gonna Go over. I hope so.

[Josh Arnold]

I hope she is.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, are you like in the movie where the lady walks in, brings a step ladder, puts on a white glove, and climbs above the oven and sticks her hand? Look at this. There's dirt here.

[Josh Arnold]

Wait a minute. Yeah. I'm not supposed to walk through the house afterwards and go, I see. You missed.

[Allie Breen]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Although it's tricky to clean the oven. What I do, I turn it on, let it preheat, stick my head in.

[Josh Arnold]

There, and then I just start scrub.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

If it's gas.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you'll be fine. Just tell her what you want done.

[Josh Arnold]

I just. I want her to be as nervous as I am about it.

[Tom Griswold]

Why?

[Pat Godwin]

It's very relaxed, very nice, very sweet.

[Tom Griswold]

You're gonna be okay.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm gonna have to leave. I'm gonna go. Hey, look, here's all the cleaner.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah. I can't stay there either.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, boy.

[Tom Griswold]

Where are you gonna go?

[Josh Arnold]

I might just sit in my car.

[Tom Griswold]

You know what I do, I find.

[Bob Kevoian]

Absolutely what I do.

[Tom Griswold]

I wish that I was productive and.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hardworking as I pretended to be when.

[Josh Arnold]

Somebody was doing something in my house.

[Bob Kevoian]

Somebody's over there.

[Josh Arnold]

I had some guys putting together my bed frame. I'm just typing away like I'm working really hard. I'm doing nothing. You're exactly right.

[Bob Kevoian]

You can't just sit on the couch and stare. Like you.

[Josh Arnold]

Nor anytime a tradesman comes over or whatever. I'm.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, man.

[Josh Arnold]

Just looking at these spreadsheets over here. I'm just typing in 4-2069-over- again on Excel.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hilarious.

[Josh Arnold]

You don't know about the spreadsheets. Oh, boy. I try to do manly things when there are. When I think there are manlier men in my house.

[Tom Griswold]

So what kind of manly things do you do?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I got to go in the garage, and I got to make sure.

[Pat Godwin]

All the charge your sex toys.

[Josh Arnold]

I just got to unfold this ladder. Yep. Okay.

[Christy Lee]

Still got to get up in my attic, check out some stuff.

[Josh Arnold]

Sometimes I'll mess around with my lures. I'll, like, just take one off of a pole. That it does. And then just switch them out.

[Tom Griswold]

Tying some flies with your delicate fingers.

[Bob Kevoian]

Could you excuse me for a minute?

[Josh Arnold]

I'm gonna go to the garage, do some curls with Miller highlight eggs.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do you go right home if they're cleaning your house?

[Tom Griswold]

Pardon me?

[Bob Kevoian]

You do. You go, right? I mean, you go walk around while they're in the house cleaning, sure. Boy, I don't.

[Josh Arnold]

And part of me, I went, all right, I can sit on my Porch and read. No, no, I can't. I'm not gonna be able to focus knowing that somebody's in there doing what I should be doing.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you afraid they're gonna find something?

[Josh Arnold]

No, I'm not afraid of that.

[Christy Lee]

I'm with you on that. It makes you feel guilty.

[Josh Arnold]

I guess I do feel a little guilty.

[Bob Kevoian]

Where's Your Friday the 13th or Halloween mannequin? Where's. Is it in a closet or something?

[Josh Arnold]

Jason. The mannequin is not. Is Jason. Right. It's in my shed. It's my security. My full size. Oh, yeah. If you open my shed. Oh, you will. You'll scream. Standing right there.

[Christy Lee]

Is he holding a knife?

[Josh Arnold]

No, no, he's just standing there.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. It's enough he's in the mask.

[Josh Arnold]

Chucky and Tiffany. Chucky's bride. Of course. Of course. They are in my office.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, good. Well, I. We'll get a full report tomorrow.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. What time is she arriving today?

[Josh Arnold]

Right after. Right after the show. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Of course.

[Bob Kevoian]

So you got to find something to do after.

[Josh Arnold]

She said she has to clean Willie's place, and then. Then we'll come over to mine.

[Tom Griswold]

How nice.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, so Pat Godwin has someone who cleans his house. I can't believe every couple weeks I can't get over.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I mean, you know, think about it.

[Christy Lee]

You're such a good friend. There.

[Tom Griswold]

See me there?

[Josh Arnold]

And he has a good friend.

[Pat Godwin]

Cost me $300.

[Tom Griswold]

Hellacious $300. I don't know.

[Bob Kevoian]

Feces.

[Tom Griswold]

When we come back.

[Christopher]

We have lots more coming up next hour. Christie's apartment. And failed to mention news with Jeff. Okay, but next, yodeling and stuff. Scatting. Don't want to miss that. Come on back. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show here on a Thursday. This is Christopher speaking. We have some good stuff this hour. This segment is. Has some yodeling and scatting in it. And we'll talk about Madame Curie.

[Josh Arnold]

How are you today, Tom?

[Tom Griswold]

Doing great. I'm just doing a little bit of homework work here. We had this weird story about someone at Purdue University. Apparently a young man, covered head to toe in peanut butter, roaming the campus, and people are concerned about allergy dangers.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, you know, it turns out he just got arrested, this guy.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, he did.

[Jessica Alsman]

He did.

[Pat Godwin]

PB&J walking.

[Josh Arnold]

I like it. I bet he will. Skippy, bail.

[Christy Lee]

Here we go.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, boy.

[Pat Godwin]

He's.

[Josh Arnold]

This guy's nuts. Yeah. Huh?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, chunky.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

He's in a jam. Okay. So sorry.

[Christy Lee]

No, you're not.

[Tom Griswold]

It's hilarious. By the way, this is completely off any topic. Yeah, I was doing some homework here. Madame Curie, it's her birthday. Born in 1867. Mary. Mary Curie, the famous scientist. You know she is?

[Pat Godwin]

Sure, we all know.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't.

[Pat Godwin]

You don't?

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

Wait, what's her name?

[Tom Griswold]

Madame Curie, famous scientist, pioneering research and radioactivity.

[Josh Arnold]

Invented the curio cabinet.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, no, but anyway, I thought I remembered this. So I've been looking around and it's true. She was buried in a lead lined coffin because of lingering radioactivity. In fact, all of her papers, even her cookbooks, her scientific notebooks and paper papers, everything is so radioactive. They're stored in lead lined boxes in the bibliotake national in France.

[Jessica Alsman]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

So who is she? You didn't tell me.

[Tom Griswold]

She is the pioneering research in radioactivity.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, okay.

[Josh Arnold]

I had no idea.

[Tom Griswold]

A great scientist and I. I thought I'd heard that and that is just so weird.

[Christy Lee]

That is weird.

[Tom Griswold]

Yikes. In any event, we'll get back to the reality of what's happening here. Christy Lee is at the SILAC Insurance news desk. What have you got over there?

[Christy Lee]

Officials in Switzerland are seeking United nations recognition for yodeling. The Swiss government is petitioning the UN cultural agency UNESCO to include the tradition of yodeling on its list of intangible cultural heritage. Nadja Ras, a professor at Lucerne University of Applied Sciences and Arts, explained that while yodeling exists in neighboring Austria, Germany and Italy, Swiss. This yodeling is distinctive because of its vocal technique.

[Tom Griswold]

Texas.

[Christy Lee]

Texas.

[Tom Griswold]

What? You ever heard Hank Williams?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Yodels. No, sorry.

[Christy Lee]

The Swiss government says at least 12,000 yodelers take part throughout about 780 groups of the Swiss Yodeling Association. That's a lot of yodelers.

[Tom Griswold]

Does anybody care if the UN recognizes yodeling? This is something I would think maybe, I don't know, maybe a little work on that Gaza thing.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah. I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

There seem to be more important things to deal with right now. We'd like to make the. The holes in Swiss cheese get an award. If that's the case, shouldn't America get an award for scatting?

[Christy Lee]

Scatting?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Did we start that?

[Pat Godwin]

We absolutely did. With jazz? Yeah, sure.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a great jazz thing. You know, one of the great scatters of all time. Ella Fitzgerald.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you want to hear our yodeling? Huh?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I do.

[Tom Griswold]

This comes to Us from a couple years ago, we were talking about yodeling, of all things. And we actually. You'll hear the world champion lady. Lady yodeler. Here we go.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay, I've got Major League Baseball. And I thought that today we could have some special music underneath for Major League Baseball. Major League Baseball. This is from Chick's audio collection. This is the CD that I'm listening to in my car right now.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's very, very Mark McGuire. Mark McGuire's assault on.

[Tom Griswold]

Excuse me, could you.

[Josh Arnold]

What the hell is that?

[Tom Griswold]

Lower.

[Christy Lee]

What is that?

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, maybe you don't know about Australia's Queen of Yodeland.

[Christy Lee]

No, I don't. What's her name?

[Bob Kevoian]

Mary Schneider.

[Christy Lee]

Mary Schneider.

[Tom Griswold]

So this is a. Are there songs that we'd recognize, you mean?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

For example.

[Bob Kevoian]

For example, the fabulous. The fabulous Pier Get Sweet.

[Tom Griswold]

Where does the yodeling come in?

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, you can't just go ahead and start yodeling right away.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, that is.

[Tom Griswold]

Man, timing is ever.

[Bob Kevoian]

That was very nicely done.

[Christy Lee]

What? Define jodeling.

[Tom Griswold]

Could we move on?

[Pat Godwin]

Is that a switch to head voice rather quickly?

[Bob Kevoian]

I think it should be. Wait a minute.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's end with this.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, whatever you do.

[Tom Griswold]

Sounds like the CDs stuck.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, this is new too. This is a different one.

[Tom Griswold]

This is the end of number one. Oh. Oh, it's kicking in.

[Bob Kevoian]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Had enough?

[Christy Lee]

I've had enough.

[Tom Griswold]

She's still alive.

[Christy Lee]

Is she really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Mary Schneider, she's from Australia. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

I didn't know Australia was known for yodeling.

[Pat Godwin]

I didn't know either. Maybe the Swiss Alps, I thought. Ah, Heidi from the Alps.

[Tom Griswold]

I think that may be her cultural background. She's not an indigenous. What is it called?

[Christy Lee]

Australian. Aboriginal.

[Tom Griswold]

Aboriginal. Australian, I think. But it just shows that it's okay to, you know.

[Christy Lee]

Have you ever yodeled?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

In the valley, in the canyon.

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't realize we were going down vulgar road.

[Pat Godwin]

That's what we're all thinking.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I'm in here.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. So, I mean, it's got. I. I don't know. Do you think yodeling is cool? No.

[Christy Lee]

No. Do you think yodeling is cool?

[Tom Griswold]

I went to. You know how my. I was educated. Where I went. It was Yod Yodi whom. Very, very formal. My, my. My schooling. The benefits of, you know.

[Pat Godwin]

Jewel does a little yodeling. She's the most modern person, I think, to do it.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, yeah, she does.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Ace. I bet I know what you're going to say.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, wait a minute.

[Bob Kevoian]

My kid.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a famous rock song with Yo. Right.

[Pat Godwin]

They open the intro.

[Tom Griswold]

What is that again?

[Josh Arnold]

Hocus Pocus.

[Tom Griswold]

Hocus Pocus.

[Josh Arnold]

But no, there was a kid who went around to Walmart's yodeling. Oh, yeah, that little cowboy kid.

[Pat Godwin]

That was good.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, he was yodeling all over the Walmarts.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, there's a. There, like I said, there's a kind of a western thing for yodeling with, you know, Hank Williams, etc. Etc. Yeah, I can. I can find that. Nobody was the band. The band was focus and the song was Hocus Pocus. I think this is it here.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

This was a big hit.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Who would have thought? You imagine being the engineer the first day they walk in. By the way, we're going to be yodeling, playing Hell's Waiting Room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here. Oh, oh, now, Headbanger. Oh, that was a great song.

[Christy Lee]

It was a great song.

[Pat Godwin]

Does a guy from the band do the yodeling or they hire out?

[Tom Griswold]

A fair question. I don't know.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

But that had to be weird though. They. The musicians walk in and the guy goes, hey, this is a great studio. We had Deep Purple in here last week. What are you guys gonna do? We're gonna yodel. Oh, let me go. Let me go.

[Josh Arnold]

Roll. Solid number.

[Tom Griswold]

I wanna. I gotta sit through this, but that's cool. So it just shows kind of.

[Christy Lee]

On a same note, a Miss World Chili contestant. Is it Chile or. Chile has gone viral after showing off her heavy metal vocals during a beauty pageant. According to Revolver magazine, Chilean model and singer Ignatia Fernandez took to the stage with guitarist Carlos Palma from her band Decisis to put on a death metal performance at the this year's Miss Mundo Chile pageant. Their performance resulted in a standing ovation and pushed Ms. Fernandez into the final round of 20 contestants. Ms. Mundo Chile will be crowned this Sunday. I believe we have.

[Tom Griswold]

We have some audio.

[Josh Arnold]

She's gorgeous.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, she is beautiful. I've got a little bit of audio. This is in the competition to become Miss Chile. Just wait a second. Here it comes.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God. Oh, that's a woman.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Does she identify as a woman?

[Tom Griswold]

She's. We have a picture of her. She's absolutely.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, goodness.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, she's beautiful.

[Josh Arnold]

What a smoke show.

[Tom Griswold]

That's her. That's her.

[Christy Lee]

Heavy metal Josh would be.

[Bob Kevoian]

Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm. Oh, my goodness.

[Christy Lee]

It says everything for him. Yikes.

[Tom Griswold]

I'd watch her performance on mute, but.

[Christy Lee]

I can't believe that voice comes out of that woman.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I Was going to ask a stupid question. Is it, is she singing quote unquote in Spanish or English?

[Pat Godwin]

Probably Spanish.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean do any of those would be Spanish?

[Christy Lee]

She's in Chile.

[Tom Griswold]

I, I don't know. I'm just saying you can't tell because that the vocalization of that particular sphere of music is. So the word I'm looking for is what? Crappy? I mean, come on, you've heard some of those bands.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It just sounds like someone going.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, Josh.

[Pat Godwin]

I think he'd disagree with it. Josh would disagree.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, the true fans have to read the lyrics, I guess to know what they're saying.

[Christy Lee]

Jason's a fan too.

[Pat Godwin]

He doesn't have to read the lyrics.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Really? Okay. Well I, I mean as Jackson Brown once said when he was asked why he didn't put the lyrics on his album, said because if you can't hear them, why are you singing songs? So in the case of this.

[Christopher]

Well, Jeff Oscar appears in the next segment as well. News we failed to mention. Come on back for that. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Bob Kevoian]

Bob and Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Wanna take the expressway from Ohio to Iowa Then I'm gonna ride the road from Iowa to Idaho Wish they build.

[Bob Kevoian]

A fire highway from Idaho to Ahawaii.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I know that you can fly But I'd rather dry ev.

[Bob Kevoian]

On the Ohio Idwa Hawaii highway Plessy Ohio Iowa. It's the Ohio Iowa the o Hawaii.

[Christy Lee]

Highway.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm gonna buy me some pineapples when I'm in Hawaii and a pound of pineapples when I pass through Idaho Then I'll get an apple Apple pies when I am in Iowa and a pallet of thermometers at the Costco in Ohio have some pineapple pie apples apple pie pallet thermometers on the Ohio Iowa highway that's the Ohio Iowa.

[Josh Arnold]

Everybody It's.

[Bob Kevoian]

The Ohio I owe the oi Highway When I go to the dentist and he puts my gums to sleep I can't feel my tongue and teeth and my lips feel like a piece of meat when he's firing up his drill bit and I'm drowning in my own spit I like to sing along with the hits like the Ohio. Here's the ohio I o. Here's the Ohio.

[Josh Arnold]

That's the end of the song.

[Christopher]

Welcome back to more of the Bob and Tom show. The best of the Bob and Tom Show. The gang is back in here live next Monday morning. This is Christopher. In the meantime, speaking from the Bob and Tom studios, failed to mention news with Jeff Oskay.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, it's now time for. Are you still drinking beer?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I'm sorry, am I on?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi, everybody.

[Tom Griswold]

Look up at the big screen. There's Oscar.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is he still drinking beer? He still works here.

[Josh Arnold]

Right. Okay, cracked open a cold one. Well, it's more of a lukewarm. Yeah, yeah. I gotta pick up the kids from school.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, time for news we failed to mention.

[Josh Arnold]

That's right. We give you a lot of the news each week, Tom, but we don't give you all the news. So I'm here to give you the news that we failed to mention. Now here's Jeff Oskay with what you.

[Tom Griswold]

Failed to mention news.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm excited. We have a new sponsor at the news desk this week. Larry's Loan Sharking. You need money quick and your family don't trust you. Give Larry the loan shark a call. Whether it's 20 bucks or $20,000, Larry's loan sharking will have you looking over your shoulder for the foreseeable future. There's no money they want. Loan ya. That's Larry's Loan Sharky. Hey, we had a dog that ate $4,000 in cash.

[Jessica Alsman]

Ooh.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, you failed to mention. That's nothing. A friend of mine had a dog eat $8,000 in socks. Actually, it was just two socks. That's what it costs to have them removed from their stuff.

[Bob Kevoian]

Been there, been there.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, you're the friend. There's a new AI dog door that can recognize your pet and keep out unwanted visitors. What you failed to mention. I need one of these for my front door to keep out my kids friends. Oh, Sticky Timmy's here. He can wait on the front porch for you.

[Bob Kevoian]

Sticky Timmy.

[Josh Arnold]

A mom discovered a dangerous snake in her child's underwear drawer. What you failed to mention. Kid, you're doing it all wrong. You're supposed to hide your weed in your underwear drawer, not your dangerous snakes. Get it right, you dummy. Studies show that smoking marijuana makes working out more enjoyable. What you failed to mention. Last time I tried doing that, Planet Fitness just called the cops on me.

[Jessica Alsman]

I like this casual approach.

[Josh Arnold]

He's been adopting this. Oh, I've given up a long time.

[Bob Kevoian]

I like. Yeah, it's like around a fireplace with Jevoske.

[Josh Arnold]

I kind of wish all news was like this. That's right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

The town council has decided to rename Poopinot Court. A very unfortunate street name. What? You failed to mention its new name, Poopinot Place.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes, sir.

[Josh Arnold]

A man was arrested for taping fish to ATMs all over town. What you failed to mention. Hey, carpe diem.

[Tom Griswold]

Seize the fish.

[Josh Arnold]

Right, Carp?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, right.

[Josh Arnold]

Bathroom mirrors are being removed from schools in Florida. Well, you failed to mention. Yeah, just toss them over there with the books.

[Tom Griswold]

Are they flammable?

[Josh Arnold]

A woman who was throwing away her trash, fell into the dumpster, was then compacted multiple times and still lived. What you failed to mention in five years, we'll see her on the show Hoarders. She's never throwing another thing away ever, ever again. And finally, thank God, residents in one quiet New York neighborhood have been dealing with several instances of fecal matter raining from the sky and hitting several of their homes. What you failed to mention. Authorities are blaming either plane flying overhead or the farmer down the street's new trevichet. New Trevor. Nope, still didn't help it. I'm Jeff Oz guy, and this has been the news I wished I wouldn't have mentioned.

[Tom Griswold]

Now he mentioned the. What was it? The.

[Bob Kevoian]

The.

[Tom Griswold]

The. The place. They changed the name. That unfortunate name, Poopinot. But you just had the story about the Licking Hole Brewery. Yes, in Goochland, Virginia.

[Jessica Alsman]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Then, Pat, you sang a song and you mentioned many of the towns with unusual names.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And I'd never of heard. Heard of the one that was prominent in that, which was a Dick Shooter, Idaho. Yeah, I looked it up and I'll tell you what, this is a gorgeous part of the country. I'm looking at a photograph of the Dick Shooter Creek.

[Bob Kevoian]

There is something about Idaho where the atmosphere, it seems crisper and cleaner.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know what it is. Yeah, there's this Dick Shooter Creek flows south and cuts a narrow, deep gorge through a rolling plateau. Just gorgeous.

[Josh Arnold]

Have you seen Dick Shooter Geyser? It's that a.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that one of your erotic films?

[Bob Kevoian]

Old Faithful. Right?

[Josh Arnold]

That's. Oh, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you know I was reading this article about the. Because I know you're a big cook. The best fried baloney sandwich.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And it's from a place, I'm not kidding, called Waldo, Ohio.

[Jessica Alsman]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

And I said to myself, where's Waldo in Ohio, huh?

[Jessica Alsman]

I've never had fried bologna.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Jessica Alsman]

Do you guys?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

So it's. It's worth a stop.

[Tom Griswold]

Little mustard on there.

[Jessica Alsman]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

It's delicious.

[Jessica Alsman]

Do you toast your bread?

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, you can. Yeah, you can. I've had it both ways. I think I like the plain. Just white bread. Wonder white bread. And I go mayonnaise. I don't go mustard.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

There's A few local restaurants too that serve fried baloney sandwiches. Real thick cut. Delicious.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh yeah, it's the GNR Tavern on Marion street in Waldo, Ohio just off Route 23.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wow.

[Josh Arnold]

Sounds good.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a nice photo. It looks, it's almost like a burger. It's a big thick.

[Bob Kevoian]

Looks like a.

[Tom Griswold]

Looks like a 3 quarter inch thick slice of bologna.

[Josh Arnold]

Yummy.

[Tom Griswold]

Looks very nice. Looks just, just delicious. But how about that? Nominated for the best fried bologna in the world.

[Jessica Alsman]

Maybe I'll make a road trip.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, sounds good.

[Josh Arnold]

You ever heard baloney referred to as is hot dog pancakes?

[Jessica Alsman]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

That's funny.

[Jessica Alsman]

Flat. Flat hot dogs. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hot dog pancakes. Is that right?

[Tom Griswold]

And you know how to keep them from doming up, don't you?

[Jessica Alsman]

I don't. You don't?

[Allie Breen]

I don't.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Yes you do.

[Jessica Alsman]

I've never fried baloney. I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

He does his story every few months.

[Tom Griswold]

It's been 17 months as I, I mark it over here.

[Bob Kevoian]

Have you met the grateful Ace Cosby? Yeah. Yeah. There he is.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, so you've got your circular baloney.

[Jessica Alsman]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

You make a slice north, south, east and west about.

[Jessica Alsman]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Our bologna is the best three quarters of an inch.

[Jessica Alsman]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

That'll prevent it from doming up.

[Jessica Alsman]

Good to know.

[Tom Griswold]

It's incredibly handy that way. It's evenly.

[Jessica Alsman]

Appreciate it. Thank you. That's how it's done, Ace.

[Josh Arnold]

I like when it domes up.

[Jessica Alsman]

Oh, you do?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, it's cool.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm going to say Waldo's like an hour hour 15 north of Columbus on Route 23, which is high street.

[Josh Arnold]

Yep.

[Christy Lee]

You guys want to go with me?

[Jessica Alsman]

We all go together.

[Josh Arnold]

Sounds great.

[Tom Griswold]

GNR Tavern.

[Bob Kevoian]

Get us some baloney jam to some.

[Tom Griswold]

Guns and Roses the whole way.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, I think we have to.

[Bob Kevoian]

Heck yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Now we return to the news desk. There's Jess Hooker sitting in for Christy Lee. What's happening over that way?

[Jessica Alsman]

The owner of an Alabama radio station says thieves have stolen his 200 foot tall radio tower.

[Josh Arnold]

How the heck did that happen?

[Jessica Alsman]

Brett Elmore, owner of wjlx.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, the XX Rocks, X, Rox, jlx.

[Tom Griswold]

Roc rocks, Jalax rocks and Jasper.

[Bob Kevoian]

Jasper rocks.

[Josh Arnold]

Sir, we know. We're just. We're just trying to figure out what happened to your radio. We get it, but who? Did you see anyone?

[Bob Kevoian]

Where's our tower?

[Jessica Alsman]

He told AL.com that he was informed of the theft when landscapers went to clean up the area. A small transmitter building had also been vandalized and the transmitter was taken.

[Tom Griswold]

Kind of hard to broadcast. No Transmitter. No.

[Josh Arnold]

Tower.

[Tom Griswold]

Tower.

[Jessica Alsman]

No.

[Bob Kevoian]

I could be kicked off the air right now about the landscapers coming in to report.

[Josh Arnold]

Please don't. Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much.

[Christy Lee]

I know.

[Tom Griswold]

I know what your lame joke's gonna be.

[Jessica Alsman]

Elmore said it's one thing to break into the building and steal the transmitter, but it's another thing to steal the 200 foot tower.

[Josh Arnold]

That's really a feat.

[Jessica Alsman]

Yeah, the tower.

[Tom Griswold]

I know. The motive, obviously.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Bob Kevoian]

What was the motive?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, some hill. Jack's gonna put that in his trailer next door to his trailer so he can pick up the big game this weekend.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, no. And somebody's getting married and they wanted to be confident in a good, good reception.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, yes.

[Jessica Alsman]

The tower was for the station's AM.

[Bob Kevoian]

Site, AMX X rocks on the A.

[Josh Arnold]

We know, sir. We're just looking for the culprits.

[Bob Kevoian]

Rocket ax.

[Josh Arnold]

You're very.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe they're making a joke jungle gym out of it for the kids.

[Jessica Alsman]

Maybe.

[Tom Griswold]

Tall one.

[Jessica Alsman]

Obviously the station is not on the air at this time.

[Bob Kevoian]

How are you going to fence that?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, what are you doing? How, what, what?

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe they tipped it over to put a new light on it.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that is how they change, though.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's an idea. You'd need a really long or really tall truck, wouldn't you, to steal a radio antenna?

[Jessica Alsman]

I think so.

[Christy Lee]

Holy hell, you could just drag it.

[Tom Griswold]

You get some 200 foot rural Alabama AM. I'm guessing it probably.

[Bob Kevoian]

How long was it missing before someone noticed?

[Tom Griswold]

A lot of very old country music.

[Josh Arnold]

I bet it's awesome.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I. I do.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, I'm a part time gal.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's a good.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, the part time guy. Oh, well, hell, that's a hit I like.

[Jessica Alsman]

Oh, that's not real.

[Bob Kevoian]

No.

[Jessica Alsman]

Nice job.

[Tom Griswold]

It is a hit. What else you got?

[Bob Kevoian]

Our time, baby.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, this is good.

[Bob Kevoian]

And on socially.

[Tom Griswold]

All along the radio tower.

[Bob Kevoian]

All along the radio tower with my part time boy and my part time guy.

[Christy Lee]

All right, take it there.

[Bob Kevoian]

Take it, Pat.

[Pat Godwin]

He's a part time. We're the part time guy.

[Tom Griswold]

Keep this up, you're both gonna be next.

[Jessica Alsman]

A new study suggests that people who go to church are more. More likely to have a satisfying sex life.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, that's because they're all lined up with the Lord.

[Jessica Alsman]

Researchers found that strongly religious individuals are typically more content with their bedroom activities than those who are not religious or who are into casual sex.

[Josh Arnold]

Gotcha.

[Jessica Alsman]

The team, a team from the University of Exeter, adds that there really is some truth in the saying quality over quantity. While religious people in the study typically had less sex than others. The sex they are having is leaving them more fulfilled than those engaging in casual encounters with multiple people.

[Josh Arnold]

Very nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that because it's dirtier?

[Jessica Alsman]

You mean religious sex is dirtier?

[Josh Arnold]

Is that what you think I'm asking?

[Jessica Alsman]

I don't know. I mean, I. I don't you think.

[Josh Arnold]

The study would say that?

[Jessica Alsman]

Oh, I think maybe it's more fulfilling because they're staying married to the same person and they're. They're learning about each other, pleasing each other. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I think that's screaming out oh God at the right time.

[Josh Arnold]

Appreciating the blessing that is sexual enjoyment.

[Jessica Alsman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Bob Kevoian]

Thankful being.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Grateful. Yeah. No, I didn't want you on your knees to pray. Your misunderstanding.

[Josh Arnold]

We'll leave it to you to turn this beautiful story into something you know.

[Bob Kevoian]

It was a beautiful story until you tried.

[Tom Griswold]

I think it's nice. Sex in churches. That's fine. Just don't block the aisle. People might be trying to get sure.

[Jessica Alsman]

They'Re not having sex.

[Pat Godwin]

They're not in the actual church.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I misunderstood. Sorry.

[Jessica Alsman]

No, no, no. They don't have a room designated for godly sex.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that reminds me of something. Oh, Mr. Godwin, yesterday you missed this story. It was a business that has a designated room for self pleasure, which I just thought was such an odd, odd thing to have. And then it was pointed out that a lot of businesses have such a room, but it's not official.

[Jessica Alsman]

Oh, Pat missed one. What happened here that we.

[Christy Lee]

The.

[Jessica Alsman]

The discovery.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Do you want to explain? Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah. Pat, we found your.

[Pat Godwin]

Guitar pick.

[Josh Arnold]

No, your other. The other thing you use.

[Tom Griswold]

Pat. The place is Erica Lust Films. She has announced that they have a. A special room for their employees.

[Jessica Alsman]

Yeah, the office. The office has its own dedicated space in the form of a small intimate chapel, which we thought that was a strange word.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Although now we find out it's more pleasurable.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Jessica Alsman]

Yeah. Complete with a bed and a mirror and warm lighting to help get you in the mood as well as screen.

[Josh Arnold]

You ever wanted to watch yourself. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Patrick B. Patrick B. Yeah.

[Jessica Alsman]

Isn't. Aren't mirrors on the ceiling? Isn't that a thing for some couples.

[Josh Arnold]

But I don't know about just the master.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Jessica Alsman]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You need a squeegee, Al.

[Josh Arnold]

It had been a while.

[Jessica Alsman]

Lust swears by the masturbation break, saying when we feel good, we do good work.

[Bob Kevoian]

I mean, they are.

[Josh Arnold]

That is also a porn company, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jessica Alsman]

So they're just gonna lean that way.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, and you know, there's one dissatisfied employee. Oh, great. Josh gets to go take a masturbation break. But I can't smoke.

[Pat Godwin]

There is a room here for the. That the masturbation.

[Jessica Alsman]

There is. And we found. So when I was putting away some supplies in the men's room, we. I've discovered that there was a. What is that called? I don't need a sleeve.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, there was a penile.

[Tom Griswold]

Some kind of reception. It looks like four hockey pucks stacked up together.

[Josh Arnold]

Hole on both end.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

You know, and you can tie it up or loosen it up.

[Tom Griswold]

You pointed out that you. I didn't realize it was in there, but there's a cabinet in there.

[Jessica Alsman]

Yeah, There's a drawer in the bottom and a par.

[Tom Griswold]

Apparently you said that if that was in there with a bunch of lube, you discovered it a year ago. But now the lube's all used up.

[Jessica Alsman]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

What does that tell you? Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is that the problem?

[Josh Arnold]

A couple of us did and insinuate that it may have been yours, but then we found out that it was definitely Jeff. Oscar's.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, I have my own performance room, so.

[Bob Kevoian]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

They called the Jerkatier.

[Bob Kevoian]

He might be going at it right now. Right below the arch.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Jessica Alsman]

What's the weirdest place you've ever done that?

[Josh Arnold]

Self?

[Bob Kevoian]

Myself.

[Jessica Alsman]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Nowhere.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, the first thing that comes to mind for me is the shower of a bed and breakfast.

[Tom Griswold]

Another reason why I don't want to stay at a bed and breakfast. Or as I call it, staying at somebody else's house.

[Bob Kevoian]

I felt. I felt squirmy mentioning a hotel in another town. You trumped me.

[Josh Arnold]

They were.

[Tom Griswold]

Hurry up. I can smell the poached eggs coming.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hi. Up to see the ground dog.

[Jessica Alsman]

I imagine it being one of those showers, or the showers in the bed and breakfast being really small, like the. Where your elbows touch on each side.

[Tom Griswold]

It was with a curtain instead of a glass door.

[Josh Arnold]

I. They had a removable shower head. And I didn't realize that those aren't bad for dudes also.

[Jessica Alsman]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Jessica Alsman]

I didn't know that was a thing either.

[Bob Kevoian]

Where do you. Where do you put the shower head?

[Josh Arnold]

I focused mostly on the taint.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is that right?

[Josh Arnold]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Could we change this up?

[Bob Kevoian]

No, I don't. No. We're just getting to the good.

[Josh Arnold]

It was rad.

[Bob Kevoian]

No kidding.

[Jessica Alsman]

Which setting?

[Bob Kevoian]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

I.

[Josh Arnold]

It was. It wasn't too powerful, but it was enough to know it was there. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

The blender equivalent of puree.

[Josh Arnold]

Man, it felt real good. Really? Really finished. Hard.

[Bob Kevoian]

You've always said that.

[Tom Griswold]

I assumed that that was also the case during the event.

[Bob Kevoian]

Just a bundle of nerves.

[Tom Griswold]

Probably should take a break. I'll remind everybody that.

[Bob Kevoian]

Tell them you fouled their shower head.

[Josh Arnold]

No. Went down, ate their breakfast and left.

[Christopher]

We're gonna wind things up. Coming up in just a minute, we're gonna find out about Christy's apartment and one of my faves. Floyd calls in. It's coming up next on the Bob and Tom Show.

[Bob Kevoian]

Bob and Tom.

[Christopher]

You're with the Bob and Tom Show. The best of the Bob and Tom show here on a Thursday morning. This is Christopher and the Bob and Tom Studio Studios. This segment discusses Christie's apartment. And then Floyd calls in Chick McGee.

[Tom Griswold]

I think he's gonna start dancing. This is a song called Taint Misbehaving. It's about detailing someone's taint with. No, no, it's not too brush in a Q tip.

[Bob Kevoian]

Leave my tape alone.

[Tom Griswold]

Haven't you seen the video? Aren't you supposed to leave by Tate alone?

[Bob Kevoian]

Massage the perineum before childbirth just in case of that episiotomy.

[Tom Griswold]

You want to detail.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, you don't want that.

[Tom Griswold]

Thanks very much. That's Ace. That's Chick, that's Josh. That would be the boys in the room. This is Tom. That's singer, songwriter Todd Snider. And the lady of the house is Christy Lee.

[Pat Godwin]

Chris.

[Tom Griswold]

Chris is going to be leaving earlier. Another pregnancy test?

[Christy Lee]

No, I do have a doctor's appointment, but it has nothing to do with pregnancy. I do have to leave early.

[Bob Kevoian]

What's it all about?

[Tom Griswold]

Gyno 91 1.

[Christy Lee]

Ah, yeah, that's it. I got a little trouble.

[Bob Kevoian]

You got a little trouble?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah. Dealing with a little something.

[Bob Kevoian]

This discharge.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you now, do you shower hard.

[Christy Lee]

Enough time getting dates? I don't need this.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you like to go home and take a shower before you go to the doctor?

[Christy Lee]

I don't have time today. Well, my appointment's at 10:15.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, how much probing is going to be happening? Do you have any idea?

[Christy Lee]

I don't think they're going to doing any probing.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you think doctors. I have a real quick question. Do you think doctors get a new tool like everybody? For example, you say you're a carpenter, you get some new tool and you go, I gotta try this out today. Do you think doctors ever do that?

[Josh Arnold]

I bet. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, it's Monday. Oh my God. They delivered the Ramstein 9000. Who do we have coming in today?

[Bob Kevoian]

You think that the specium looks like a duck? You make it talk.

[Christy Lee]

Thanks for coming here today. This is mine.

[Tom Griswold]

We have optically correct speculum.

[Christy Lee]

It's not an. It's not a gynecological appointment.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

Okay. So I forgot to tell you this.

[Bob Kevoian]

What other. What other doctor do women. Ladies go see?

[Christy Lee]

I have a regular boobs.

[Josh Arnold]

Is it your boob doctor?

[Tom Griswold]

All right, boys grow up.

[Bob Kevoian]

Butt doctor.

[Josh Arnold]

Women have a separate doctor for their boobs, right? No, Just a boob dot.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I have my mammogram. Everything's fine. So I had a friend last weekend. We were at the. I was at the wedding in New York.

[Bob Kevoian]

Tell us everything.

[Christy Lee]

No, but my girlfriend.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you hurt your arm diving for the bouquet?

[Christy Lee]

No, I did not.

[Bob Kevoian]

He told me that off the air.

[Josh Arnold]

And he goes, can you.

[Bob Kevoian]

Can I say that? I'm sure she'll laugh at it.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Initially.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. I was not involved in the bouquet talk.

[Tom Griswold]

Initially.

[Christy Lee]

Well, Airbnb and my girlfriend's Airbnb. You walked in the living room, and there was an old doctor's chair.

[Bob Kevoian]

Table doctor.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi.

[Christy Lee]

But it was, like, sit in this old table. Yeah. And it had the stirrups. The stirrups.

[Tom Griswold]

A gynecological table. An antique.

[Bob Kevoian]

The whole thing.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

In the Airbnb.

[Bob Kevoian]

It was some. It was a decorator's choice.

[Josh Arnold]

You may have been staying at a lunatic's house.

[Tom Griswold]

And I'm thinking, who has that in their.

[Bob Kevoian]

What?

[Josh Arnold]

Really?

[Christy Lee]

God is my witness.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey.

[Tom Griswold]

While you're in the foyer.

[Bob Kevoian]

A quick Pap smear.

[Tom Griswold]

Mrs. McGill.

[Christy Lee]

Exactly. Someone chose to put that in their home.

[Josh Arnold]

Weird.

[Christy Lee]

It was weird. It was very weird. They had no television, but they had that.

[Tom Griswold]

Why didn't you?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, they don't need a television. They've got that show.

[Bob Kevoian]

Assume you stand and stare at the chair for about an hour.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, look. The hell is that Leave it to Beavers on again? How did you not take a selfie with this thing?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know. I was. You know, because I don't think like that, and I was in a hurry, and I was getting ready for the wedding and. But I was.

[Bob Kevoian]

Did it go with the general decor there. Was there other. Were there other odd choices or, like, guillotine?

[Christy Lee]

There were all kinds of antique tools, like, all over the walls.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

You were staying at Leather Faces.

[Christopher]

That's right.

[Christy Lee]

I wasn't staying there. Colette was staying there. I would not have stayed. It was kind of creepy. Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Did you sit in the chair? Did you try it?

[Christy Lee]

I did. Her dad did. But I did not.

[Tom Griswold]

Great.

[Bob Kevoian]

The whole thing. Put his feet up in the stirrups?

[Christy Lee]

No, no, no. He just kind of.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, my lady parts. I'm a pretty lady.

[Christy Lee]

And.

[Tom Griswold]

Could you get the water pick?

[Bob Kevoian]

I've got some Gl leaning to do. I feel dirty.

[Christy Lee]

I apologize. Steve, you're a wonderful man. Very distinguished. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, boy. Hello, Bob and Tom show.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, fellas.

[Bob Kevoian]

I've enjoyed your kind old 911.

[Josh Arnold]

You're welcome. I just tuned in and heard Christie's kindly got a touch of the coach flute.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, evidently she's going to get her looked at though.

[Josh Arnold]

Of the year with the pollen count being what it is.

[Tom Griswold]

That'll do it every time.

[Josh Arnold]

Just tell you take your warm bath of nips and salts.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Bob Kevoian]

Good advice. Thank you, Floyd.

[Tom Griswold]

That was really helpful. Let's squeeze in a quick, quick. A quick news story. Christy, what's going on over there?

[Christy Lee]

A 23 foot long python swallowed a woman in central Indonesia.

[Josh Arnold]

We're doing this story, huh?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

This is crazy. She went out to look at her garden, right?

[Christy Lee]

It's a victim. 54 year old WA Tiba went missing while checking her vegetable garden, as Josh mentioned.

[Tom Griswold]

But here's the thing. She did it in the middle of the night.

[Christy Lee]

She did it on Thursday evening. I don't know if that's the middle of the night.

[Bob Kevoian]

I think even as. As limited as my motion is, the older I could avoid a python. You don't really like have cat like reflexes.

[Christy Lee]

No, they're very fast.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do they?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah. When they strike, they lay in a waist, they immediately wrap.

[Tom Griswold]

They have like 50 teeth and they grab you, then they wrap around you. They 50. They got a ton. Yeah, they all. The picture I saw yesterday, I was reading about this thing. It's terrifying.

[Christy Lee]

On Friday, her family went to look for her at the garden but found only her belongings, including sandals and a flashlight. The family and the villagers launched a search for the woman and found the snake with a bloated belly about 50 yards from where her belongings were found.

[Bob Kevoian]

Having a mint, they killed the sn.

[Tom Griswold]

It gets worse.

[Christy Lee]

Carried it to the village where they cut open the body and found Ms. Tibbett still intact with all her clothing and alive. She was swallowed first from her head.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, wow. So what do you do? You suffocate. What would you do?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, before. Before the eating even began, I bet.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you got squeezed in heart attack, you suffocate and then the.

[Christopher]

The.

[Tom Griswold]

They say this is extremely rare, that humans are almost never.

[Christy Lee]

Reports of humans being killed by pythons are extremely rare. As Tom said, in the wild they're known to e. Pigs and other mammals. This victim's garden was about a half a mile from her home and located in a rocky area with caves and cliffs believed to contain many snakes.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, Doris, where are you gonna put the garden this year? I thought I'd put it a mile from here, where the snakes live. Things you don't order on a first date. You're also a single man, as is Todd. Perhaps you can both weigh in.

[Josh Arnold]

Ribs would be. That's a. No. No on a first date. Messy.

[Tom Griswold]

Why?

[Christy Lee]

Because you're met. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

And then the rib.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't like to grab the rib, stick it in their end first, and go, this is me and you later. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Anything you can.

[Bob Kevoian]

Like a breadstick and a dip.

[Josh Arnold]

Who do you think I'm on a date with? Why would I do that? I mean, I would. If I were going to do anything. I'd put two ribs together and stick my tongue between.

[Tom Griswold]

Something. No, what would. What would you get on a. Where would you go on a first date, Josh?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, rest. Restaurant wise. Well, I would ask her.

[Christy Lee]

What. What if she.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

If she wasn't in the mood for anything in particular. Didn't have a specific.

[Allie Breen]

Maybe.

[Josh Arnold]

I think sushi's a fun first date.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Yeah. I think if you go.

[Tom Griswold]

If you go to the sushi place Christy and I go to, the good news is you can grow a beard while you're there.

[Bob Kevoian]

Why don't find out a large place is the best.

[Josh Arnold]

Why don't you go.

[Tom Griswold]

If things aren't. If things aren't going well, though, you're in trouble. Because it's usually an hour before they harvest the fish.

[Christy Lee]

I have a new one, too, because I.

[Tom Griswold]

So you go to a sushi place?

[Bob Kevoian]

Maybe.

[Jessica Alsman]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Or just something kind of. I don't know, like a. Not a. Not a chain. I tend to stay away from chains.

[Tom Griswold]

On a first date Now, Todd, being a rock star, being out there on the bus and everything, I imagine make.

[Christy Lee]

It sound so romantic.

[Tom Griswold]

First date. First date's over. A first date.

[Bob Kevoian]

A first date over before you.

[Tom Griswold]

A first date for Todd probably involves, I think Elvis left half a sandwich in the mini bar. If you're hungry when you're done, let yourself out.

[Christy Lee]

If you're hungry when you're done. Did you hear that?

[Bob Kevoian]

Be working up an appetite.

[Christy Lee]

It's the.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what? What? Honey, you earned yourself a sandwich.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's right.

[Josh Arnold]

Half a sandwich.

[Tom Griswold]

This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christy Lee]

Bob and Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

The United States Soccer Federation presents the U.S. soccer Podcast.

[Josh Arnold]

My name is David Goss and I'm joined by my co host, Megan Kleinenberg.

[Christy Lee]

Everything up until this point has been an outside look at the World cup and now we're giving people an inside look. It is just total pressure cooker.

[Josh Arnold]

Watching flags come out of little plastic balls is like the epitome of everything that I love. And the World cup is everything. It's why I became a soccer fan.

[Tom Griswold]

The U.S. soccer Podcast. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.