The BOB & TOM Show – January 1, 2026
Overview
This special New Year’s Day episode of The BOB & TOM Show delivers the show’s trademark blend of irreverent comedy, banter, music, news, and sports. The hosts—Tom Griswold, Bob Kevoian, Christy Lee, Josh Arnold, and regulars like Allie Breen and Pat Godwin—riff on New Year's Eve debauchery, Tom's adventures in Colorado, strange sports, the culture of skiing, modern slang, online dating, baby names, swearing parrots, orgy domes, alarm clock habits, and plenty more. The second half brings classic segments like "Sexy Time" with Allie Breen and "News We Failed to Mention" with Jeff Oskay, with detours into yodeling, jazz for cows, pet behavior, and offbeat listener letters. Expect quick-witted back-and-forths, comedic songs, and a dose of off-color, playful humor in keeping with the show's longstanding tradition.
Main Segments & Key Discussion Points
1. New Year, New Hijinks: Parody Songs & Storytelling
- New Year’s Song Parody (00:49–03:08): The show kicks off with the whole gang improvising a bawdy parody of “Same Old Lang Syne,” depicting a tipsy, bittersweet New Year’s Eve reunion in a grocery store parking lot ("She puked and passed out in her car, so we decided, hey, let's leave." – Josh Arnold, 01:55).
- Return from the Holidays: The hosts catch up, ribbing Tom about his "adventurous" Colorado ski trip meals (pancakes, sushi). Bob jabs:
"Did you have a great dinner? Anything jumps to mind?" – Bob (03:57) "Some pancakes, chicken noodle soup...some sushi." – Tom (04:08)
- Tom’s Sushi Experience: Tom colorfully describes a serious sushi chef ("This guy's got the whole samurai suit on...I can't wait for a chunk of his thumb to come off. This guy was great." – Tom, 04:49). Hilarity ensues as the group debates proper sushi bar etiquette, including chopstick holders and uniforms.
Notable Quotes
“I was sitting right there in front of the guy…he had the whole suit on…every sushi restaurant so far, it sounds like every…” – Bob (04:27) “I can’t wait for a chunk of his thumb to come off. This guy was great.” – Tom (04:49)
2. Skiing Oddities & Strange Sports (06:01–11:40)
- Tom introduces "ski joring," a wild Scandinavian sport involving skiers pulled by horses (or dogs, cars) at high speeds through courses studded with obstacles and hoops, prompting the group to riff about horse and snowboard accidents and whether reindeer "really exist."
"They tow skiers by rope at speeds that can top 40 miles an hour." – Christy (07:31)
- History lessons mix with classic Bob & Tom banter and a debate over the pronunciation and origins of ski joring/skewering.
- Location color: "Leadville...Altitude 10,158 ft. Population under 3,000. But it’s cold there." – Tom (09:57)
- Comedy detour: Reindeer mythology, and why weird sports don’t make it to the Olympics.
3. Sports, Slang & Online Dating (13:18–22:20)
- Confused sports lingo: The crew debates new terms like “70-piece” (70 points scored), “tuddies” (touchdowns), “nugs” (nuggets and marijuana), lampooning generational code words.
“You don’t like tutty?...Everybody says tuddies who knows anything in the National Football League.” – Bob (13:40–15:45)
- Bathroom gadgetry: The comedians riff on phone usage and gaming in the bathroom (Bob’s “handheld game” for toilet use).
- Fast Food Mixology: Debate mixing favorite menu items via food delivery apps (“Double Dash”).
- Online Dating Study: Christy reports a study that online daters are perceived as “desperate” even among others who use dating apps.
Notable Quotes
"I think they added that those who use online methods to find a partner are perceived to be at least somewhat deviant and undesirable." – Christy (19:36)
4. Baby Names Going Extinct (22:42–26:47)
- Christy lists trending-down baby names (Michelle, Amanda, MacKenzie, Julius) and speculates on culture’s fickle relationship with names like Reagan, Brooklyn, Jaden, Blake, Karen, Judas, etc.
"I would also think...you're probably not going to see Alexa and Siri...Karen...Judas has been out of favor for a while." – Tom (25:53)
5. Parrots That Swear & Odd Crimes (27:02–31:05)
- A wildlife park’s efforts to curb a flock of foul-mouthed parrots (by re-integrating them with non-swearing parrots—"However, he admitted, or we could end up with 100 swearing parrots on our hands." – Christy, 27:59).
- Cops bust a woman with $2,500 in stolen Stanley cups (the viral reusable bottles), prompting nostalgic banter about old-school green Stanley thermoses.
6. Yodeling, Jazz for Cows, & Burning Man Mishaps (31:56–41:41)
- Jessica’s Softball Throwback: Details how pitching and hitting matchups work in women’s college softball ("I've thrown a no-hitter." – Jessica, 32:50).
- Massive Dust Storm (“Haboob”): Christy and Josh recall Arizona sandstorms that halt travel; hilarity over meteorological terminology and its juvenile appeal.
- Burning Man Orgy Dome Destroyed: Gales (a "haboob") destroy the festival’s Orgy Dome, leading to risqué jokes about Burning Man’s “peace, love, and...orgy domes.” Quotes:
"So the folks that went to Burning Man for the sex now have no choice but to do it in their own camp." – Tom (37:01) “It does look like a nice place...they have a purple wood motif.” – Bob (36:23)
7. Getting Up, Dream Recurrence, Alarms & Sleep Habits (42:30–47:02)
- Morning routines: Tom and Josh discuss waking before alarms, recapturing dreams mid-wake, and whom they wake (or don't) when leaving for work.
- "What noise does your alarm make?" sparks a tangent on phone alarm PTSD.
- Traffic rant: Phones blamed for left-turn lane delays.
8. Odd College Football Names & Cultural Naming Traditions (48:32–51:09)
- Tom and Bob trade favorite outrageous real-life football names (e.g., "Demon Clowney," "Crafanzo Thorpe," "Barkevious Mingo"), riffing on the poetry and comedy of sports nomenclature.
- Discussion of Catholic confirmation names and cultural naming customs.
9. "Sexy Time" with Allie Breen: Advice, Mishaps, and Sex Toys (56:11–71:59)
- Allie Breen fields listener “love trouble” questions, with the crew dispensing comic (usually bad) advice. Topics include:
- Dating a friend who allegedly sabotaged your prior relationship.
- Kissing your wife's sister on New Year's.
- Girlfriends who only want to use sex toys.
- Boyfriends obsessed with OnlyFans and strip clubs.
- Notable quote: "Just pack your bag. Quit your job." – Bob (61:22), to the guy who kissed his wife’s sister.
- Tom’s PSA: Don’t “MacGyver” sex toys using power tools (“They attached a dildo to a Sawzall, and the adhesive failed—instant episiotomy.” – Tom, 65:01)
10. Listener Letters, Wacky Vehicles & Jazz for Cows (74:11–79:47)
- Letters about car oddities: The L.L. Bean “Bootmobile,” the Wienermobile, and “banana mobile” inspire a dream of a giant novelty vehicle race.
- Iceland gets its first mosquitoes; jazz bands play for cows (“According to the BBC, the Smith Hills Open Farm hired local band the Dickens Sexy Beets to play for their dairy cows.” – Christy, 77:21).
- Groan-worthy “cow music” puns ensue (“Live at Herdland.” – Tom, 78:13)
11. Pet News: Rabbit with Crocheted Ears & Bar-hopping Bears (79:20–81:41)
- A bunny born earless is given a crocheted pair (“So he could experience what it was like having ears, too.” – Christy, 79:55).
- A bear wanders into a Montana distillery, inspiring improvised “bear run” songs and bear puns.
12. House Guests, Hospitality, and Tampon Analogies (88:01–91:43)
- Survey on house guests: How long is too long? ("House guests are like tampons. You shouldn't be using one for more than six days a month." – Tom, 90:22)
13. "Failed to Mention News" with Jeff Oskay (140:59–144:55)
- Jeff Oskay delivers a run of news briefs with satirical “what you failed to mention” punchlines—dog eats $4,000 in cash, AI dog door, marijuana and working out, the town of "Poopinot," and more.
“A man was arrested for taping fish to ATMs...What you failed to mention? Hey, carpe diem.” – Jeff (143:34)
14. More Absurd News: Stolen Radio Towers & Pythons (148:22–164:33)
- Alabama radio station loses a 200-foot radio tower to thieves (“How the heck did that happen?” – Jessica, 148:28).
- 23-foot python swallows a woman whole in Indonesia, sparking jokes about vegetable gardens in snake country.
15. Christy’s Weird Airbnb: Gyno Chairs as Decor (158:09–161:42)
- Tom needles Christy about her upcoming doctor’s appointment.
- Christy recounts a friend’s Airbnb full of antique medical equipment, including an actual gynecological table with stirrups in the living room.
"You may have been staying at a lunatic’s house.” – Josh (160:39)
16. Classic Bob & Tom: Musical Parodies, Songs, and Callers
- Songs: “Ohio-Iowa-Ohio-Highway,” “Drunken Uncle,” “Smoky Uncle,” and “Vocabulary Builder Upper” infomercial parody.
- Skilled yodeling, death metal Miss Chile, and the famous "George" name song.
- A call from regular listener Floyd offers homespun advice for Christy’s “trouble.”
- Classic Lord-of-the-banality ending: Floyd recommends “warm bath of Nips and Salts" for Christy’s “coach flute” (sinus issues) (162:31).
Notable Quotes and Moments by Timestamp
01:55 – "Then she puked and passed out in her car, so we decided, hey, let's leave." – Josh Arnold
04:49 – "I kept...he's taking these hunks of fish and making these razor thin cuts. I can't wait for a chunk of his thumb to come off. This guy was great." – Tom Griswold
13:40 – "Instead of points, you say piece. You don’t like tutty? It’s way in." – Bob Kevoian
19:36 – "Those who use online methods to find a partner are perceived to be at least somewhat deviant and undesirable.” – Christy Lee
25:53 – "I would also think that names you’re probably not going to see much anymore…Alexa and Siri…Karen…Judas has been out of favor for a while." – Tom
27:59 – “However, he admitted, or we could end up with 100 swearing parrots on our hands.” – Christy Lee
37:01 – “So the folks that went to Burning Man for the sex now have no choice but to do it in their own camp.” – Tom Griswold
42:55 – “I’m unbelievably busy.” – Tom Griswold
“Busy with saying you’re busy.” – Bob Kevoian
61:22 – "Just pack your bag. Quit your job." – Bob Kevoian to a listener in a love triangle
65:01 – "They attached a dildo-esqe dildo to it [Sawzall]...the adhesive failed—instant episiotomy." – Tom Griswold
78:13 – "Live at Herdland." (jazz for cows) – Tom Griswold
90:22 – "House guests are like tampons. You shouldn't be using one for more than six days a month." – Tom Griswold
143:34 – "A man was arrested for taping fish to ATMs...what you failed to mention: Hey, carpe diem." – Jeff Oskay
158:00 – “This is a song called ‘Taint Misbehaving,’ about detailing someone's taint with a toothbrush and a Q-tip.” – Tom Griswold
Additional Memorable Moments
- Tom’s fastidiousness: Tom’s neurotic routines (sleep, mouthwash, alarm sounds) and general bafflement at modern trends (slang, apps, pet names).
- Sex advice detours: Chuckle-worthy moments on “Sexy Time,” including stories about OnlyFans, decked-out sex toy collections, and a cautionary tale about homemade power tool sex machines.
- Running joke: Disdain and confusion about generational slang for sports and marijuana.
- Haboob: The glee over using the word “haboob” for dust storms.
- Listener interaction: Letters provoke bizarre yet familiar tangents about wacky cars, radio towers, animal hijinks, and more.
- Absurdity as foundation: Throughout the episode, even the ordinary is laced with deadpan absurdity—the sort of slightly naughty, "dad in a bar" energy that defines The BOB & TOM Show.
For First-Time Listeners
You’ll find:
- Roasting of each other is frequent and affectionate.
- The tone stays light, self-deprecating, and droll—even when treading into risqué territory.
- No segment sticks around too long: the pace is fast, with constant pivots between topics and media (songs, letters, news, and ad parodies).
- Even recurring segments like "Sexy Time" take on a farcical slant far removed from standard radio fare.
Segment Timestamps (highlights):
- 00:49 – Opening Song Parody: "Same Old Lang Syne"
- 06:03 – Ski-Joring and Skiing Oddities
- 13:18 – Modern Sports Slang, Tutty/Nugs
- 19:36 – Online Dating and Desperation Study
- 22:42 – Extinct Baby Names
- 27:02 – The Swearing Parrots Saga
- 31:56 – Jessica's Softball Pitching/Arizona Dust Storms
- 37:01 – Burning Man Orgy Dome Destroyed
- 42:30 – Alarm Clocks, Dream Recursion, Peeing At Night
- 48:32 – College Football Names and Cultural Traditions
- 56:11 – "Sexy Time" with Allie Breen
- 74:11 – Listener Letters: Bootmobile, Odd Vehicles, Cow Jazz
- 77:19 – Cows Treated to Jazz Concert
- 79:20 – The Earless Rabbit Gets Crocheted Ears
- 81:16 – Bears Visit Bars
- 88:01 – Hospitality Survey & Houseguest Analogies
- 140:59 – "News We Failed to Mention" with Jeff Oskay
- 148:22 – Stolen Radio Towers & More Oddities
- 158:09 – Christy’s Gynecology-Themed Airbnb Adventure
- 162:25 – Call from Floyd, Advice for Christy
Final Remarks
This episode is a perfect primer for newcomers and a treat for longtime listeners: brimming with quick-fire jokes, musical bits, tangential riffs, absurdist news, risqué advice, and the unique camaraderie at the heart of The BOB & TOM Show.