The BOB & TOM Show - January 10, 2025

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show - January 10, 2025: Comprehensive Summary

Host/Authors: The BOB & TOM Show | Cumulus Podcast Network

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1. Introduction and Early Banter

The episode kicks off with classic BOB & TOM humor, featuring playful exchanges about a fictional movie titled Shifting Gears starring Tim Allen and Kat Dennings. The hosts engage in light-hearted dialogues, showcasing their trademark comedic style.

Notable Quote:

• Tom Griswold [00:05]: "Dad, I'm broke and I need a place to stay until I figure out what the rest of my life looks like."

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2. Guest Spotlight: Comedian Nick Griffin

Nick Griffin, a seasoned stand-up comedian with appearances on The Tonight Show and Late Show with David Letterman, joins the studio. The hosts delve into his career trajectory, recent performances, and personal life challenges.

Key Points:

• Career Highlights: Nick discusses his multiple appearances on major talk shows and his upcoming YouTube special titled Absolutely Wonderful.
• Personal Life: He candidly shares struggles with maintaining relationships, highlighting the difficulties of dating in his 50s.
• Upcoming Performances: Nick is set to perform live at the famous Jukebox in Peoria tonight and tomorrow, along with other gigs in Massillon, Ohio, and Youngstown.

Notable Quotes:

• Nick Griffin [51:40]: "I still love her, though."
• Tom Griswold [84:25]: "Nick, we talked about that earlier. There's a reason Nick isn't in sales."

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3. Guest Spotlight: Comedian Jordan Jensen

Jordan Jensen, another talented comedian, shares insights into her unique family dynamics and experiences growing up with three mothers. The conversation explores her journey into comedy, personal anecdotes, and her life in New York.

Key Points:

• Family Background: Jordan explains living with three mothers, detailing how her parents' relationships evolved over time.
• Comedy Career: She discusses the challenges and triumphs of transitioning from a contractor to a stand-up comedian.
• Personal Stories: Jordan recounts humorous and touching stories, including interactions with her pet coyote and experiences with her father.

Notable Quotes:

• Jordan Jensen [71:00]: "If you remove a penis from the equation, you really get a lot of harmony."
• Tom Griswold [105:35]: "If someone wasn't. Didn't know what it was. What the hell's that?"

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4. News Highlights

a. Iguanas Falling in Florida

A bizarre weather phenomenon in Florida causes stunned iguanas to fall from trees during a cold snap. The hosts humorously discuss safety measures, such as wearing helmets to protect against these reptilian drop-offs.

Notable Quote:

• Tom Griswold [58:53]: "If you have an iguana in your tree, wear a helmet. That's all I'm going to say."

b. JetBlue Plane Incident

Authorities discover two decomposed bodies in the wheel wells of a JetBlue flight from Jamaica to New Jersey. The investigation remains ongoing as officials determine the duration the bodies remained on the plane.

Notable Quote:

• Nick Griffin [28:50]: "They were on a JetBlue aircraft. These guys were extraordinarily blue."

c. Sperm Donor Expands Reach

Kyle Gordy, a prolific sperm donor, aims to father 100 children by the end of the year. Operating both remotely and in person, Gordy's unconventional approach sparks discussions about the implications of widespread sperm donation.

Notable Quote:

• Ace Cosby [148:32]: "Someone's absolutely... somebody's running around with a sperm donor T-shirt."

d. Phone Phobia Among Youth

Nottingham College in the UK addresses telephobia among students by conducting coaching sessions that encourage making phone calls. This initiative responds to a survey indicating a preference for texting over voice communication among younger demographics.

Notable Quote:

• Ace Cosby [143:23]: "Nearly 70% of people aged 18 to 34 prefer a text to a phone call."

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5. Sports Update

The hosts provide a succinct update on recent sports events, focusing primarily on college football. Notre Dame's thrilling victory over Penn State in the Orange Bowl is highlighted, showcasing a last-second field goal that secured their 12th national title.

Notable Quote:

• Chuck [04:39]: "The last time I tried, that didn't go too well. Actually, I did win, but we could."

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6. Interactive Segment: NFL Picks Contest

The show features an NFL picks contest where listeners compete by selecting outcomes based on the spread. Rob Martin emerges as the week's winner, securing a $500 gift certificate from Steven Singer Jewelers.

Key Points:

• Contest Mechanics: Listeners pick teams based on the spread for various games.
• Winner Announcement: Rob Martin congratulates on his win and shares plans to use his prize for jewelry for his wife.

Notable Quote:

• Tom Griswold [116:59]: "Rob, congratulations. You won week 18."

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7. Comedic Stories and Personal Anecdotes

Throughout the episode, the hosts and guests share a plethora of humorous stories, ranging from identity theft songs penned by Pat Godwin to outrageous tales involving frozen iguanas and absurd shopping antics.

Notable Stories:

• Identity Theft Song: Pat Godwin performs an original song about the woes of identity theft, reflecting real-life frustrations.
• Frozen Iguana Encounter: Christy Lee narrates her experience dealing with a frozen iguana, emphasizing the unpredictability of wildlife in cold climates.

Notable Quote:

• Pat Godwin [20:09]:

  "Steal my identity
  My Social Security number is 209-52-6413
  Don't answer the phone. It's a collection agency."
  

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8. Upcoming Events and Promotions

The hosts announce numerous performances and special events, including:

• Comedy Shows:

  • Nick Griffin's performances at the Jukebox in Peoria and other venues in Ohio and Kentucky.
  • Heywood Banks' shows at Crackpots in Massillon and the Funny Farm in Youngstown.

• Special Show on February 21st:

  • A live broadcast from the Riverside Casino and Resort in Iowa, featuring Pat Godwin, Josh Arnold, Al Jackson, Jeff Oskay, and Tom Griswold.

Notable Promotion:

• Tom Griswold [157:08]:

  "Nick Griffin will be at the Jukebox, Peoria tonight and tomorrow for some great live comedy."
  

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9. Product Mentions (Skipped Advertisements)

While numerous ads for products like Raycon earbuds and Steven Singer Jewelers are interspersed throughout the episode, these segments have been intentionally excluded from the summary to focus on content-rich discussions.

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10. Conclusion

The episode wraps up with a final series of jokes, banter among the hosts, and reminders about upcoming shows and contests. The camaraderie and dynamic interactions underscore the enduring appeal of The BOB & TOM Show.

Notable Quote:

• Tom Griswold [163:45]:

  "You're a comedian Jordan Jensen, you have three moms, essentially."
  

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Overall Insights:

• The show masterfully blends humor with real-life stories, creating an engaging and relatable experience for listeners.
• Guest interactions provide depth, offering perspectives from seasoned comedians navigating personal and professional landscapes.
• The inclusion of bizarre news stories adds an unpredictable element, keeping the audience entertained and informed.

Disclaimer: This summary excludes advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content segments to present a focused overview of the episode's key discussions and highlights.

Transcript

[Tom Griswold]

Abc Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star in the new family comedy Shifting Gears.

[Josh Arnold]

Dad, I'm broke and I need a place to stay until I figure out.

[Jordan Jensen]

What the rest of my life looks like.

[Tom Griswold]

So a couple of days. I love it when his daughter moves back in. The last time you walked out that.

[Pat Godwin]

Door, you look back at me and.

[Tom Griswold]

Gave me a double bird.

[Josh Arnold]

I was 18. The double bird was how I ended all our conversations.

[Tom Griswold]

The wheels come off.

[Josh Arnold]

Can we try to talk to each other like rational adults?

[Tom Griswold]

Have you watched the news lately? That's not a thing anymore. New Wednesdays, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu. It's the Bob and Tom show. You love his plain speaking, straight shooting, no nonsense approach to solving callers problems. You tune in to his nationally syndicated talk show every day to hear the wise insight and savvy advice he gives to his callers. You see, caller, what you got there is a can opener. You use it to open cans. A can opener?

[Pat Godwin]

I never made the connection.

[Tom Griswold]

Thanks Mr. Obvious, you're a lifesaver. Yeah, that's what I'm here for, caller. He's Mr. Obvious, America's favorite answer man. There's not a situation that he can't handle with his sage like wisdom and his quick draw wit. Well, waste not, want not, call. Now Bob and Tom Productions is proud to present a side of Mr. Obvious you never heard before. Ah, I hit my head.

[Jordan Jensen]

Damn, that's smart.

[Tom Griswold]

Uh oh, was my mic on? Now you can hear for the first time the Mr. Obvious that the sensors didn't want you to hear. It's Mr. Obvious too hot for radio. Mr. Obvious, too hot for radio. We can't even play it for you in this computer. It's just you. Ha. So, Mr. Obvious, I can't figure out why it's not working. Oh, well, I can tell you why it's not working. Oh yeah? Why is that? It's because you're a stupid idiot, that's why it's not working, you dumb cut. John, you can't say that on the air. Look, I'm sorry, but what the. This dip doesn't even know how to operate his toaster. Come on, Bill, don't we have anyone screening these damn calls? All right, all right, settle down, John. Don't settle down, John me. And where the are those pictures I was supposed to see? Get down on the phone. If I don't get those pictures in here by 2:00, I'm gonna walk off this mother. You hear me, Bill? I'm not you I've got money. You know what that means, Bill? That means I've got enough money that I can say, too, Bill. Now give me some decent callers on the phone. These calls are ponderous, man. Ponderous. All right, John, we'll take care of it. And where's my orange smoothie?

[Jordan Jensen]

Damn, I asked for a cam orange.

[Tom Griswold]

Smoothie, like, 20 minutes ago, Mr. Obvious. Raw, uncut, uncensored. So you see my point, caller? No, No, I don't, Mr. Obvious. That's got to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I'm sorry. Wait a minute. What did you say, you piece of.

[Christy Lee]

You heard me.

[Tom Griswold]

Look, we've got caller id. I'm gonna have a couple of my gorillas down there getting medieval on your ass. How do you like that, Mr. Tuffy, huh? I'll make you think stupidest thing you ever heard. I'll be watching from my yacht while the cops are fishing your bloated carcass out of the river next week, pal. Hey, hey, look, take it easy, Mr. Obvious. I was just kidding. Oh, yeah? Just kidding, huh? Sounds like you just made the connection, right? You just made the connection, didn't you, Mother?

[Christy Lee]

Huh?

[Ace Cosby]

To order Mr.

[Tom Griswold]

Obvious too hot for radio call 1-800-eat. That's 1-800-eat. And so, Mr. Obvious, that was the last time I ever saw her alive. Aw, I'm sorry, caller. You've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a. Don't be a moron. Order your tapes today. Holy.

[Josh Arnold]

It's the Bob and Tom show here at the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. Heck of a morning planned today. There's Christy Lee at the SILAC news desk.

[Ace Cosby]

Hi, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

Pat Godwin's over at there.

[Pat Godwin]

Hello, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

Preparing some musical numbers for us. Jeff Osk across the way for Chick McGee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello, sir.

[Josh Arnold]

There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Josh Arnold, the I hate Steven singer.com sidekick chair. And there's Tom. Tom, how are you?

[Tom Griswold]

When you say preparing some musical numbers, are you going to choreograph them? I somehow. It somehow sounds like yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Being talked about. There were dancers in the green room.

[Pat Godwin]

Got it going on those big feathered kickball change, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, yes.

[Ace Cosby]

Feathered headdresses.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

I'll be the worst one. You know, me and my dancer.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you like the feathered headdress look?

[Ace Cosby]

Do you think. Well, the last showgirl's coming out today, and with Pamela Anderson, and that's a. There. Everybody's talking about it, but I think that's fabulous. The Las Vegas showgirl. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Ace Cosby]

Yes. What's wrong with you? You don't enjoy that?

[Josh Arnold]

I always think, oh, yeah, look at that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's a show girl. Yeah, that's gonna be a pain in the ass to get her in a cab.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, my God.

[Christy Lee]

The last time I was in Vegas, me and my friends went to the longest running daytime topless review.

[Ace Cosby]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

And oh my gosh, they haven't replaced the dancers since that opened in 43.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my gosh, it is. And like they have like two comedy guys of one's doing the pie to the face. I mean, it's.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I would have loved it.

[Christy Lee]

They haven't updated anything. But the best part was I. I tipped the cedar. I was like, oh, could we get some good seats? And I thought, I slipped him a 20. And I go to pay at the end of the night and I reach for my hundred dollar bill to pay for my drinks and I pull out a twenty. I had tipped him a hundred dollars to sit five feet away from eighty year old breasts. It was horrible.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. Yeah. What made you decide you wanted to do that in the first place?

[Christy Lee]

Well, I didn't realize the people were gonna be old. It was just a daytime topless review. Why wouldn't you want to go to the rest during the day?

[Tom Griswold]

I wouldn't actually.

[Josh Arnold]

These days they have the showgirls walking down the strip for photo ops.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, do they?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Ace Cosby]

Hey, there are some older breasts that still look good.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't deny that that whole look doesn't do it for me. That whole Vegas ridiculous.

[Christy Lee]

But they still had the big headdresses, but then like a liver spot.

[Tom Griswold]

Like it was weird, kind of a peacock thing. Yes. Oh, that's interesting.

[Christy Lee]

It was.

[Ace Cosby]

Will you go see the last show girl?

[Josh Arnold]

Me?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You said everyone's. I'd never heard of it until just now.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, I'm not surprised about that.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean. No, I know.

[Pat Godwin]

Getting good reviews.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, it is.

[Tom Griswold]

I haven't read the reviews either. What is it about?

[Ace Cosby]

It's about the last showgirl in Vegas. Pamela Anderson. It is about showgirls in Vegas. I. I don't know that it's your type of film.

[Josh Arnold]

Is that Jamie Lee Curtis also? Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Oh, okay. I'm sure it's politically correct. Very unexciting. Okay, I'll pass. We'll see. I had an idea for a new segment. Yeah, let's go through the papers on my desk right now.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, this will be fun.

[Tom Griswold]

I do. I've gotten kind of backed up Here I have all these. All this stuff going on here in no particular order. Would you like to do that?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Oh, right on top. Well, this is a good one. Coming up Friday, February 21st, we're going to be at the Riverside Casino and Resort doing this show starting at 5am local time from the Riverside Casino and Resort. This is going to be really cool. And then that evening, a special show with Patty G. Josh, Al Jackson and Jeff Oskay. And I'm going to be your host. Looks like it'll be fun. And once again, it's all being put on by 100.7, the fox and Cedar Rapids.

[Ace Cosby]

That'll be fun.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the top page. Okay, the next page is. Oh, the next page is the name of our winner from week 18 of the Bob and Tom pigskin. Pick them. That happens to be Rob Martin. Now, I don't know if we're going to talk to Rob today. Are we going to try to call him even though Chick's not here?

[Ace Cosby]

Why don't you let Jeff pick against him?

[Christy Lee]

Last time I tried, that didn't go too well. Actually, I did win, but we could.

[Tom Griswold]

We should certainly talk to Rob. Anyway. He was our winner of the I Hate stephensinger.com Stephen Singer Jewelers gift certificate.

[Ace Cosby]

Josh could pick against him.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, somebody will.

[Ace Cosby]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I want to get him on the phone just to say hi. We'll look at that. This. This is a request. Oh, okay. Someone wants to hear. This is unusual. They want to hear one of your stories, Pat.

[Pat Godwin]

A story?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they said, can Pat Godwin tell his story about the quote, stand up intro on the cruise ship.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, your music.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I know. What. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I see why this makes perfect sense.

[Pat Godwin]

I always come out to Sledgehammer.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, right.

[Pat Godwin]

Peter Gabriel's. It's just a wonderful piece of music. I do it in the Bob and Tom shows.

[Tom Griswold]

Sure.

[Ace Cosby]

Obvious.

[Pat Godwin]

So we were having problems.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a term. Just a terrific groove.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I love the song to begin with, but it's also just a perfect intro. And we were having some issues on the ship with some of the younger Serbian technicians. And there's a language barrier. The sound wasn't right, the lights weren't right, but you still have a job to do. So I wasn't complaining. But the. The head guy in the very last night, Drakkar, he comes to me and he says, I hear you're having problems. Lights and guitar not working and intro being wrong. I am here to correct all that. We make all that good tonight.

[Ace Cosby]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Now this is what you. You wanted to hear this, right? But you didn't get that.

[Pat Godwin]

I didn't get that, no. So he.

[Tom Griswold]

He.

[Pat Godwin]

We get the lighting right, which is. Was as important. And the guitar. It was very important. And that all went very well. I said, thank you so much. Now we work on intro. I said, you know what? Anything energetic. No. What do you want? You tell me. What do you want? I give it to you. And well, I like Sledgehammer, but if you could get it after that, the keyboard flourishes and just right when it kicks in, after keyboard flourishes kicks in, everything will be perfect. They introduce me and he plays if I had a Hammer, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Peter Paul.

[Josh Arnold]

And I walk up laughing.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm in a good mood. Throw me off. I laugh all the way up. I hit the stage and I look in the back and there he is at the soundboard with his thumb up. Everything.

[Ace Cosby]

Now did. You didn't acknowledge that on stage, did you?

[Pat Godwin]

No. It was so funny to me. I didn't have to. I was in such a great mood when I hit the stage, I couldn't stop. I said, that is so funny.

[Tom Griswold]

You have to wonder. Some of the audience is wondering, what. Why is this guy coming?

[Pat Godwin]

It was the look of satisfaction on his face.

[Tom Griswold]

I think the person who requested this must have done it because of the sad news that Peter Yarrow of Peter, Paul and Mary has died earlier this week. And. Yeah, that was one of their. One of their big hits. Wow, that's. Well, a great story pattern. It's an. It's an accent we're still allowed to use, I think.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

As we have. The Serbian liberation ships are full of accents.

[Pat Godwin]

It's all. All the workers are.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, sure, that's obvious.

[Pat Godwin]

They work really hard too.

[Tom Griswold]

And they speak English better than we speak. Whatever gibberish. It's a joke. You see. Very proud of them for. Well, that's coming up. We have a bunch of interesting things in the news. We're gonna do a quick review of some of the stuff we learned. But make a mental note if you are in near Cedar Rapids, that we're gonna be there with a special show coming up February 21st. Once again, the Riverside Casino and Resort. We just announced that yesterday. Right now, I want to announce this Valentine's Day just down the road. Of course, you can check that off your list right now. If you pay close attention, just go to I hate stevensinger.com. always talking about great jewelry from Steven Singer. He's the diamond expert. Real diamonds by the way. Always from Stephen Singer Jewelers. None of the stuff cooked up in a diamond oven or whatever the hell. Not exactly sure. But, but also Steven Singer has the real roses. And these are roses that last forever because they're dipped in 24 karat gold. He's done a whole series of them over the years. The newest one is called peacock teal and it's kind of a Caribbean feel, colorful with the leaves kind of in a pattern like a palette of 20 different shades. Very, very colorful. And it's a perfect gift. And it's 79 bucks. These things last forever. By the way, a long stemmed 24 Garrett carat gold dip rose with a full lifetime guarantee, of course. Stephen Singer, famous for free shipping and famous for his lifetime guarantee. You're going to be happy. If you're not, ship it back. That's free too. It's all about real diamonds and having a real good time once again, Valentine's Day down the road of peace. You can knock that off your checklist right now by going to ihatestevensinger.com that's ihatestevensinger.Com Josh is sitting in the Steven Singer Jewelers sidekick chair today. We expect a lot from you today, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

We're going to lean on you today.

[Josh Arnold]

Why is that?

[Tom Griswold]

Because I think it will annoy you and.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I didn't realize that was your goal.

[Tom Griswold]

It just may make things more fun, I think. Christy Lee, as I mentioned before at the SILAC insurance news desk with lots of interesting things coming up.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. That morning coffee could be really important.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. There's one of those scientific studies about. They come out about every two weeks now. Something either about coffee or wine. I'm waiting for the one that says the best way to lose weight is to eat coffee cake and smoke cigarettes, drink coffee and booze. That one hasn't come out yet. When it does, we'll lead the show with it. This is the Bob and Tom Show. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.

[Josh Arnold]

Do you ever think about switching insurance.

[Tom Griswold]

Companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy. Just drop in some details about yourself.

[Josh Arnold]

And see if you're eligible to save money.

[Tom Griswold]

When you bundle your home in auto policy, the process only takes minutes and it could mean hundreds more in your pocket.

[Pat Godwin]

Visit progressive.com after this episode to see.

[Tom Griswold]

If you could save Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates.

[Josh Arnold]

Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show here at the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios.

[Ace Cosby]

Wait a minute. How do you break a sledgehammer?

[Tom Griswold]

The thing falls off the top.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, the.

[Tom Griswold]

The metal part.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Wooden part, and then. Yeah. So I had to buy a new sledgehammer.

[Josh Arnold]

All right. That's always fun.

[Tom Griswold]

I got kind of a mini one.

[Ace Cosby]

It's kind of the theme of the show today.

[Josh Arnold]

More of a mallet.

[Tom Griswold]

It's. It's sort of a. Yeah. Mallet. Yeah. I. I have a gigantic sledgehammer. I still don't know where I put it.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, yeah. Boy, that's hard to, you know, misplace.

[Tom Griswold]

I know. That's why I walked around my garage and go, where's. This is what happens when you move. You know, three years down the road, you've moved. You haven't really done a full inventory. Wait a minute. I can't find my sledgehammer.

[Christy Lee]

Well, you'll love this, Tom. This week where I'm at, it snowed a lot. And I went to shovel my snow. I was like, oh, my shovel is in my barn. So I went to get the shovel out of the barn. My lock, frozen solid, cannot access my snow shovel.

[Ace Cosby]

Ooh.

[Christy Lee]

So now I have to either buy a pair of bolt cutters or a new snow shovel.

[Ace Cosby]

I think the snow shovel. Probably cheaper, wouldn't it be?

[Christy Lee]

I have no idea. I haven't.

[Tom Griswold]

If you can find one. Oh, yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, did you go find. Did you get a metal one? Yesterday you said you were in need of a new snow.

[Tom Griswold]

A new snow shovel. No, I didn't. I didn't. I've got to get another one. I've got one. Just. I need a. I need another one. And then my. I was talking to this guy that was helping me out, and he. He purchased a plow for his truck. He was so happy because he. He bought it three years ago. He'd only used it once, so. Because when you're kind of in one of those areas where sometimes it snows and sometimes it doesn't, you don't really.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, but does he have a real long drive, like a driveway?

[Tom Griswold]

He has a. Yeah, yeah. He's got a variant, and it was awesome truck.

[Josh Arnold]

That's cool.

[Tom Griswold]

You put this thing on, it just. It's sort of funny when you're going down the road and there's someone coming at you with a huge snowplow in the front. You think, should he swerve?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I am going to be dea. Dead.

[Josh Arnold]

I know they all have zones and area quadrants that they all work out or whatever, or that they all. But sometimes when I see them, I want to Go. Why don't you lower that. The road that you're on right now, real snowy. Go just lower.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, while you're here.

[Christy Lee]

Well, I always thought that the personal, like. But those are, you know, personal companies as opposed to city.

[Josh Arnold]

Right. Sometimes I even see the city ones. I'm like, but put that down.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, that's the worst.

[Tom Griswold]

I was talking to a friend of mine. He was going down a major thoroughfare and apparently it was garbage day.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, man.

[Tom Griswold]

And in this particular area of the city, you put your garbage cans right there on the tree lawn kind of. And then they've got that garbage truck that comes up and it has automatic. Automatic. Those two are. It's very efficient, very cool, very smart. Well, a lot of people apparently were putting their garbage cans kind of in the street because they didn't. Otherwise you would have had to dig up some snow to put your garbage can there. Yep. And he said it was. He was he. He followed the. He followed one of the big plows, was early in the morning. He felt he just one garbage can have another flying.

[Christy Lee]

How much fun would that be to be driving that plow just by the.

[Tom Griswold]

Way, in the nicest, oldest part of town. So in any way, check local listings. A lot of. A lot of cold in a lot.

[Ace Cosby]

Of places, oddly enough, Florida getting cold again.

[Tom Griswold]

We have a bizarre story. This happens every few years in Florida when it gets really cold, involving iguanas. We'll get to that coming up. And if you have an iguana in your tree, wear a helmet. That's all I'm going to say.

[Josh Arnold]

And maybe put a little tiny one on the iguanas. They're the ones following. Doing the sun something. I have.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I had not thought of that. Maybe that there, that could be a shark tank thing, the iguana helmet. You know, this only comes in handy every, every few years. Time now to review some of the stuff we learned on yesterday's show. And of course, this is brought to you by our friends at Hyundai. Those are some nice, nice cars.

[Ace Cosby]

I love mine.

[Tom Griswold]

You can buy a new Hyundai from the comfort of your new home at Amazon. Visit Hyundai USA.com for more details. And that's spelled H Y U N D A I. And they are making some nice, nice vehicles these days. Now, we learned a lot on yesterday's show. We had a great house band. Dane Clark in the band. We have links that if you had a chance to. If you didn't have a chance to hear some of that stuff, it's great. And they did a Terrific song with Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

That was fun.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it was a real highlight. And it's the true story of your desire in life to have someone steal your identity to cover your debt.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

And I sort of made a joke about it and when I wrote it in October, did on the show like a. Two verses of it. And then a month later, I actually had my identity stolen.

[Ace Cosby]

Ah, see? Manifested it.

[Pat Godwin]

So, like I said yesterday, I'm gonna write a song now called Win the Lottery.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe that will come. Well, I'm on my third credit card disaster of the year.

[Ace Cosby]

What?

[Pat Godwin]

I. I just had one two days ago. They got my number somehow. They have my. Yeah, they have my password.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, they nabbed you.

[Pat Godwin]

They got me.

[Tom Griswold]

So. Yeah, that was yesterday's delight.

[Pat Godwin]

We try to buy a meal or something simple or.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know what happened. It's. I. Then I'm on the phone with someone whose grasp of English is somewhat skeptical. You know what?

[Josh Arnold]

We're. We're blessed to be stolen from and not doing the stealing.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes button. Press 1 if you'd like to be someone who can speak in a comprehensible way. Let's see. We learned that Reader's Digest apparently steals their jokes from a Scott's. That's what. That was the theory. Why are we talking.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, look at Dace. I just noticed. Ace, you look good, man.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, you shaved.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, the beard's gone.

[Josh Arnold]

I had this bullet working, just.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, yeah, there's always that one.

[Josh Arnold]

Look at it.

[Tom Griswold]

Look at it this way.

[Pat Godwin]

I have one, too.

[Tom Griswold]

Ace. Ace. Many, many men have beards to hide their faces. You have such a handsome face. The beard is, you know, it just gets in the way. Wouldn't you agree, Christie?

[Ace Cosby]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I think Ace looks much better clean shaven.

[Josh Arnold]

He looks good both ways. Really?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, he does.

[Tom Griswold]

You guys are just afraid of him.

[Pat Godwin]

I like bearded Ace.

[Ace Cosby]

I like bearded Ace, too.

[Tom Griswold]

I did not like bearded Ace.

[Ace Cosby]

I know you didn't.

[Tom Griswold]

He looked like homeless Ace.

[Josh Arnold]

It wasn't a beard. I just didn't shave.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Ace Cosby]

It was a more dignified.

[Pat Godwin]

I did, too.

[Josh Arnold]

They call that a vacation beard. Yeah, I've heard that term. No, it looked like.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it looked like a kidnap victim beard. Like he was the CEO of some company and he. And he'd been taken prisoner.

[Josh Arnold]

How's it feel? Cooler. Yeah. A little colder, isn't it, when you shave? Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yesterday we had a really unusual story about some organization that took the time and trouble to find out the length of the male member, the average length in various countries. And you're sort of stereotypical thoughts may come true. If you read the results of the survey, which countries men allegedly have the largest male members. And I assume this was based on self reporting. I just can't imagine there was someone going around measuring people.

[Josh Arnold]

Sudan was the longest and the. The. In Thailand was the shortest.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah. And. And that led to a discussion in which Jess Hooker mentioned that she has in fact measured a male. I don't know how to word this. Delicate member.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. She was curious and she measured her partner's wiener.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And the answer was nine to ten.

[Josh Arnold]

Isn't that something?

[Tom Griswold]

That's what.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Her partner.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's what she said. At least the one that was made. I'm not sure where this.

[Josh Arnold]

Right. We don't know who it was, but it was.

[Nick Griffin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

At some point in her life, this took place.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. She may have said, you know what? I can't really do much with that and gotten rid of it or throw.

[Christy Lee]

It over her shoulder like a baby.

[Ace Cosby]

It does seem excessive.

[Pat Godwin]

No one needs that much.

[Ace Cosby]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

What a greedy bastard.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, do you remember? It was all. They also did it. They did the survey also reviewed girth.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes. And France was the girthiest, wasn't it?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Again. Again, I'm. I'm extraordinarily skeptical of this sort of thing.

[Pat Godwin]

I was in here. Where did my. Ireland. How did they do it?

[Tom Griswold]

Didn't come off.

[Pat Godwin]

Not even on the top 105.

[Ace Cosby]

We know.

[Christy Lee]

But it also wasn't on the smallest. So you're good.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

The.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. It wasn't.

[Ace Cosby]

I think the United States was 68th.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. The. The top. The largest, lengthwise, beginning with number one. Sudan. The Democratic Republic of the Congo. Ecuador. The Republic of the Congo. And I'm with you, Josh. I have no idea. There's two of them and Ghana. So that. My question is, does being near the equator have something to do with maybe. Yeah. And knowing nothing about science, I'm wondering if, from an evolutionary standpoint, since that's where man emerged. Right. Humanity emerged from what? I guess equatorial areas of the universe here.

[Christy Lee]

And I'm assuming when you went north.

[Tom Griswold]

Having a smaller one was more beneficial from an evolutionary. Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

I wanted to freeze and fall off.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Something happened.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. That's interesting.

[Christy Lee]

Now, this is angry, right?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Intumescent, if you will. You know the word tumescent?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember that. You don't know that mark.

[Christy Lee]

Well, I've heard you use it a thousand times, but I have no idea.

[Tom Griswold]

It's A. It's a delicate way to say boner if you follow it with the word member. A tumescent member or an angry one.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

But I have always loved the. The notion that there's a band called Tumescence that opens for Evanescent. God, that name just makes you want to start shooting. Could we give our band a more pretentious name? I'm sorry, the widest ones.

[Josh Arnold]

Wide, wide.

[Tom Griswold]

Widest.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Because otherwise Ireland does come up.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, we have the widest ones. Sometimes a little pink in the sunsh.

[Tom Griswold]

Number one, as you said. France, Netherlands, Ecuador.

[Ace Cosby]

A lot going on in Ecuador. They got a long one and a wide one.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, they. They're the winners in this.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they are. The Ch of Belgium 4th and then. Then Denmark. So. Yeah, that's interesting. That Belgium, that Netherlands. What is the. About width in that part of Western Europe?

[Ace Cosby]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's the cheese. Wouldn't that be funny? Wouldn't it be great if a scientist came and said, well, if you want more girth, eat more cheese. It's a trade off. Your bowels aren't going to move as much.

[Josh Arnold]

Heavy creams, any of that.

[Tom Griswold]

Sort of the. The smallest, as you mentioned, Josh, number one, Thailand, followed by North Korea, which explains their anger. Cambodia, Nepal and Miramar.

[Ace Cosby]

Formerly Burma.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, now that's. I mentioned that I've started a new program since United states came in 68th.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I'd like to get back to number one. You can see on my hat, Maba, make America big again.

[Ace Cosby]

I think the average for the United States was 5.57.

[Tom Griswold]

This is nonpartisan, by the way. Both Democrats and Republicans can have huge penises. I want everyone to know. Feel, feel free to join hands on both sides of the aisle.

[Josh Arnold]

Now that's the study we should.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's funny.

[Josh Arnold]

And then candidates could go, hey, you going to vote for the small pricked guy over here? You want old Louisville Slugger to be running things?

[Tom Griswold]

I'd also like to. There was a survey several years ago about who had the best parties at the conventions. Remember this? And like celebrations. Yeah. During the, like the Republican and the Democratic conventions, who had the better parties at night, huh? And I remember at the time it was the Democrats. Yes, I bet it may have switched.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

You tend to get the better bands at the Democratic.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

More musicians are more willing to go that way.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

You'll get a rolling.

[Pat Godwin]

Better music.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But I think maybe now you're gonna get people who are just more fun. They're not gonna get together and start sobbing. I didn't win. Let's see what else did. Oh, oh, by the way, bizarre update. Remember the story about the two dead bodies found inside the wheel well or whatever you call it, of the, of the JetBlue plane?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. That came from Jamaica.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

They were in the landing gear.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, now they think they may have been there for quite a while.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Because they were very decomposed. Oh. So they're not sure if it was just a one day. Because the plane went from like Jamaica, I think, to New Jersey or something.

[Ace Cosby]

JFK to Miami. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

That is such a nasty way to go. And that whole thing is just so grizzly.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, remember they are, they're flying at 38, 000ft.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

And what is it, 60 below at that temperature? I mean, at that altitude.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. Because, well, think about Everest isn't that high and you get up there and you're going to freeze to death. So yeah, I, they. There's an investigation going on. They don't know what happened, but it was on a JetBlue aircraft. These guys were extraordinarily blue. The oddest thing we learned yesterday was the history of graham crackers, which sounds boring. Who, you know, who cares about the origin of graham crackers? But it turns out much like. What was it? Was it Corn flakes?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. Kellogg's.

[Tom Griswold]

A guy whose name was Graham had a special dietary thing going. He was a vegetarian and believed that a whole grain diet would purify the body. And he thought that he invented a cracker that he thought would prevent people from masturbating.

[Ace Cosby]

We're having carnal lust.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Which is so odd.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

That's how Cracker Jacks were invented too.

[Tom Griswold]

I think the true.

[Ace Cosby]

I'm.

[Tom Griswold]

The only anti masturbation food I think is pizza, right?

[Ace Cosby]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Because then you're gonna keep playing World Warcraft and not grab your stick there. I'm just, just. Once again, this is random speculation. We were informed yesterday, do not eat your Christmas tree.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Which sounds incredibly ridiculous, but there had been a thing in Europe in which a town had posted recipes for using the pine needles to make a variety of soups and such. And it has since been suggested that many, many Christmas trees, real trees are sprayed with various pesticides and you could get really badly hurt if you, you could be poisoning yourself.

[Ace Cosby]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Also, if you are going to cook your Christmas tree and need to take the lights off first.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Ace Cosby]

I think that's a good advice.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Just a little. That's, that's a Suggestion for me. And then lastly yesterday we. I didn't see it at first, but Mr. Oskay did. There is a robot out there. This is called the Tesla robot.

[Christy Lee]

I think that's what it's called. It's by Tesla and it looks.

[Tom Griswold]

But it's a humanoid robot, meaning two arms, two legs ahead, a torso.

[Christy Lee]

It looks like it talks to you, it responds.

[Tom Griswold]

It's amazing.

[Christy Lee]

It's unbelievable.

[Tom Griswold]

And then. But there was a robot. This is. This is the week of the Consumer Electronics show in Las Vegas.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And it's. I don't know, I've been reading about it. So far I don't see any big.

[Ace Cosby]

Breakthroughs, but it's a lot of car stuff yesterday.

[Tom Griswold]

But the breakthrough stuff is probably stuff that we wouldn't even understand.

[Ace Cosby]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

But one of the things they were talking about was the AI powered robot vacuum cleaner that has an arm that will pick up your socks. And I mean, if you're that lazy, really, it's. But that's the big story. The Saros Z70 vacuum cleaner that it's designed to function, I guess as kind of a maid. And it's incredibly accurate though, buddy. Is it? Did I mention that it comes with a green card? It's manufactured overseas. And then you see the joke there. So if they can teach that thing to give birth and make a sandwich. Look out, ladies.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, with the robot, when I. Man, it would have to be so realistic.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, it took me a lot just to have sex with that one guy that looked like a lady. Yeah, he really looked like a lady.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up in sports, Notre Dame, big win. Yes, we'll hear about that. And the shoeing of the week picks. Chick should be back Monday.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, good.

[Tom Griswold]

He's a little bit under the weather. He's had a rough week, but he will be here. And I think we're going to talk to our winner from week 18, Rob Martin, coming up today. At some point right now, I'll remind you about the Raycon earbuds we were talking about. Great gifts for Valentine's Day. This is a good one. This is where you want to buy two. One for yourself and one for your lover. Is that okay to use the word lover?

[Ace Cosby]

Coming from you, I always love it.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you ever call your husband Andy your lover? Hey, lover.

[Ace Cosby]

Sometimes. But do you really?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I did that with my lady. Yeah, you do be like, how are you today, lover?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. In fact, I think I went to. I think last night I go, I'm gonna go to bed, lover.

[Josh Arnold]

My grandparents would do It. Yeah. Hey, Bob. Yes, lover? It was very sweet.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. How about Lovey?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that's kind of a Gilligan's Island.

[Tom Griswold]

Lovey. I wear my Raycon earbuds. Lovey. You're saying. Tom, you're off topic again. That'll happen. This is something new. The latest edition of the Raycon earbuds. 32 hour battery life and something called multi point connectivity. So maybe the two of you want to watch that thing while you're on the plane together. Well, now you can do it. Thank you. Raycon. These sound better than the ones that are at least twice as much. And they don't fall out of your ears. They've got the special. What are those called again? Christie Rubberized gizmos.

[Ace Cosby]

The gel tips.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you. They have gel tips. No, no, don't. Don't talk. Don't talk down to me. So they. They'll. You put them in so you're. They fit your ears. They're. It's like having different sizes of shoes. People have different size ear holes.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Is the word ear hole annoying or. No?

[Josh Arnold]

It sounds bad, but it's fine.

[Jordan Jensen]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. They also have their happiness guarantee. Raycon. Get the headphones. Get the earbuds. Today, 15% off site wide. Go to buyraycon.com Tom. That's buyraycon.com Tom. You'll thank me. We have a bunch of love letters from Ray fans of the Raycon earbuds. We're coming right back. We've got some cool stuff in the news, including their iguanas falling. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Reach us toll free at 1-888-bobtom1 [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show. If you need three new reasons to.

[Jordan Jensen]

Love Jack wraps at Jack in the.

[Tom Griswold]

Box even more, here they are. Chicken fajita, chicken Caesar and delicious. Starting at $3. Coincidentally, those are the same three reasons you should come to Jack in the.

[Jordan Jensen]

Box right now at Jack, every bite's a big deal.

[Tom Griswold]

I'll tell you all about them.

[Josh Arnold]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show here at the auto parts, the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. We're not just sponsored by any random auto parts. Hey, we're Sponsored by V. O'Reilly Auto Parts.

[Tom Griswold]

Just like the carburetor show, right? Right, Right.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, we're wheels. We're sponsored by today.

[Tom Griswold]

Today. Catalytic converter day. Got a letter here.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, please.

[Tom Griswold]

A Dear Bob and Tom Show. I was listening yesterday morning early in the show when Josh Arnold attempted to sing in the Cast member's name during the famous intro, Tom seemed to interrupt him the whole time.

[Ace Cosby]

Yep.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, it was one of those interesting things where you told me to do it, I started doing it and then you continuously told me how I was doing it incorrectly.

[Tom Griswold]

Pretty much like every other day. We'll have to try to institute that again.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

At some point. At some point soon. I'll give you some pointers as we go. No, we, I. We were talking about the hundredth anniversary of the Goodyear blimp.

[Ace Cosby]

Uh huh.

[Tom Griswold]

And I, I have been in the Goodyear blimp.

[Ace Cosby]

The blimp was part of the game last night. The Notre Dame game.

[Tom Griswold]

Notre Dame won by the way, by three.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. With 33 seconds left in the game at a game winning field goal after an interception.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

With 40 seconds left in insane celebration for those. It was. Yeah, I saw it for Notre Dame.

[Tom Griswold]

Speaking of the blimp, they're celebrating 100 years of the Goodyear blimp. And we've learned a little bit about blimps. There are about 25 left in the world. Think got this letter. Hey Tom, you were talking about the Goodyear blimp. A buddy of mine flies a blimp.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh really?

[Tom Griswold]

He was on the way back from a sporting event and he said, I'm going to fly over your house at the specified time. My friends and I all went outside and there he was flying over. He dipped down low, did a couple of circles around our neighborhood. It's an extremely rural area. He then texted me, quote, piss dump.

[Josh Arnold]

So that's what he was doing.

[Tom Griswold]

We eventually saw sort of a mist. He goes, it was just water. Ha ha ha. I don't know if I should believe him. He says, when we were in an older version of that blimp years ago and there was a funnel in the cabin area and if you were aloft, one would just go into the funnel and it would, I'm sure, dissipate into the atmosphere. Wow. I would assume that the new. I know there's. They've got a couple newer ones anyway. Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

They might have like a little.

[Tom Griswold]

They probably have some kind of an air airborne facility, I'm guessing. But be looking for their. The Goodyear blimp to celebrate 100 years. And they're going to go all over the country.

[Ace Cosby]

But we also learned they don't hold very many people. 14 tops. 12 with two pilots. And there is a weight issue, obviously.

[Tom Griswold]

And I, when I. When we got on the blimp, we went to a major airport and you get there and you get out of the car and it's enormous. The cabin is, is relatively small. It's like being in a sailboat kind of and it sways around. But the, the blimp part is just huge. And, and did you say you read that it costs 100 grand to fill it with helium? Wow. And there, there was a. Five or six years ago there was a helium shortage and they thought they were going to run out of it and then they found a big.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, did they?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they found a huge. I think it's. What is, is it in Texas. I think they found a giant helium.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh.

[Ace Cosby]

Party planners everywhere. Sigh of relief.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, they, they were. It's the same way they discovered fluoride. You ever hear that story?

[Ace Cosby]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

They discovered fluoride because there was a particular community where they had. The dentist reported almost no cavities. And it turned out that there was a, there was fluoride naturally in the water. And the same thing happened with this helium. There was a town in Texas, everybody talked with a really high voice.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh wow, wait a minute.

[Tom Griswold]

What the hell's going on?

[Ace Cosby]

And walked about 10ft off the ground.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they, and then they realized it's.

[Josh Arnold]

When they need a, like a helium fuel truck.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Ace Cosby]

That's funny.

[Christy Lee]

Trucks flying.

[Ace Cosby]

I don't know how they get the helium in the balloon. That's a great question, Ace.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know if they did they. I have no idea. Is it compressed or do they, Is it liquefied? You. This is anything involving science, you're asking the wrong guy.

[Ace Cosby]

I have no idea. We need to talk to a blimp.

[Tom Griswold]

I just think blimps are cool and I, I, it was really interesting being up at one and they're different from a balloon because they can, you can steer them and drive them and so be on the, be on the lookout. And once again my idea for the Cialis balloon or the Viagra balloon where it. You come out after the game and the blimp is at a 45 degree angle. Daddy, why is the blip like that? Well, apparently they took one. They took, they took the little, little blue pill. I'm not sure in sports. You want to mention that game again?

[Christy Lee]

Sure. Actually I have a quick 30 second sports report.

[Ace Cosby]

All right.

[Christy Lee]

Notre Dame won the Orange Bowl. The Vikings and Rams move are moving from LA to Arizona. The game. Who knows why Raiders fired their general.

[Josh Arnold]

Manager and coach the same week.

[Christy Lee]

And the St. Louis, St. Louis Blues be Anaheim over to you, Christy.

[Josh Arnold]

I think that was just for me that little last one.

[Tom Griswold]

Josh is, Josh is indeed the hockey fan. Yeah. Horrible, horrible fires in la. Terrible situation. But that's why they, they're moving that game.

[Christy Lee]

No, Notre Dame, they, they won a trip to play and the program's 12th national title after a thrill a minute 2724 victory over Penn State on Thursday night and the semifinal at the Orange bowl, the Fighting Irish defensive back Christian Gray snared Drew Allen's Drew Allers pass across the middle with 33 seconds left to set up a Mitch Jeters 41 year yard winner with seven seconds left.

[Josh Arnold]

And they must have been going. Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Well now, great college football game. We've got more Ohio State tonight and Texas. So that'll be the next semifinal showdown. That'll be a great game.

[Tom Griswold]

And we have the shoeing of the week coming up. I've just been informed we do have chicks picks. So we're going to talk with our winner who happens to be a Buckeye, by the way.

[Ace Cosby]

So I'm from Colorado.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I'm sorry, The week before, the week before was a Buckeye. The week before that was a Buckeye. Yeah, you're correct. He is from Colorado. So he may be a Texas fan. We'll find out when we talk to Rob Martin coming up later on this morning. Coming up, we have interesting news. If you have an iguana in your tree, we have an interesting story coming out of Florida about iguanas.

[Ace Cosby]

Love in the news today.

[Josh Arnold]

Good. A lot of what Love.

[Ace Cosby]

Love, love is in the air.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Ace Cosby]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

No, that I'm looking forward to hearing about it. Thank you, lover.

[Josh Arnold]

What the world needs now.

[Tom Griswold]

This is the Bob and Tom Show. Add to or continue the conversation. Check out the Bob and Tom show on Facebook. Get the [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show. Bravo TV star Lala Kent holds nothing.

[Christy Lee]

Back on the Give Them Lala podcast.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I have a very short fuse. Get to know the TV personality.

[Jordan Jensen]

I don't need to watch the show.

[Josh Arnold]

Because I get the real life version.

[Tom Griswold]

From relationships and motherhood.

[Ace Cosby]

Let me tell you something about breastfeeding.

[Tom Griswold]

To business and beyond. You are scared of failure so it.

[Jordan Jensen]

Prevents you from trying.

[Ace Cosby]

This is where we implement a big set of ovaries and then we obsess.

[Tom Griswold]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform, sea of Q95.

[Josh Arnold]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're here at the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee sitting at the Silac Insurance Company news desk.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello.

[Josh Arnold]

Great to see you, dear. There's Pat Godwin.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, you're not gonna mention her apres ski little sex kitten outfit?

[Josh Arnold]

She certainly. You look very cozy in a, you know, sort of a sweater.

[Ace Cosby]

You want a hug?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, of course.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you like the term sex kitten?

[Ace Cosby]

Sure, why not?

[Tom Griswold]

That's kind of a. That's kind of a. Playboy magazine, 1968.

[Ace Cosby]

I read sex Pat, which means I'm old and sex kitten become an old sex cat.

[Josh Arnold]

Sex cat.

[Tom Griswold]

Cougar.

[Ace Cosby]

Sex cat.

[Josh Arnold]

There's Jeff Oscar across the way. Cosby is there. Hey, I'm Josh Arnold at the I hate Stephensinger jewelers.com Sidekick chair reminding you it's a new year. That means a new rose. Steven Singer jewelers brand new 24 karat gold roses, peacock teal. It's very cool. Get it before they sell out. Exclusively ati hate stevensinger.com and Tom will tell you a little bit more about them later on. Tom, how are you? We have a very special guest with us.

[Tom Griswold]

Ah, the most handsome man in the room.

[Josh Arnold]

Indeed.

[Tom Griswold]

He is a comedian, Nick Griffin. Quiz time. Nick, do you know a peacock? Of course. Is the male. What is the female of that particular species? You know, bird is not the correct answer. The pea hen. Is that true?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

See you came here, you got educated.

[Nick Griffin]

I got a. I got a piece of info I could take with me.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. Nick Griffin.

[Ace Cosby]

Nick Griffin is.

[Tom Griswold]

Nick Griffin is a very fine stand up comedian. He will be at the Jukebox, the famous jukebox in Peoria coming up starting this evening. That'll be great. Speaking of being other places, we're going to be at a different place coming up Friday, February 21st, at this exact moment we will be in the Riverside Casino and Resort in Riverside, Iowa, courtesy of 100.7 the fox in cedar Rapids doing a special edition of this show. And then we'll do a show that evening with Patty G, Josh Arnold, Al Jackson and Jeff Oskay. And interestingly enough, during the morning show, our. What do they call it? Intro. Intro, yeah, interstitial, whatever that word means, Intro, outro. Will all be provided by Al Jackson.

[Ace Cosby]

He'll be the DJ of the day.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And yesterday we talked with Al and at some point he said he's got a line of shoes coming out.

[Josh Arnold]

How about that?

[Tom Griswold]

I.

[Ace Cosby]

Gotta do what you gotta do, right?

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, are there any comedians that have.

[Pat Godwin]

I don't think no.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, obviously a lot of athletes sure of it. I don't know. Air Leno. I, I don't. Who would be. Anyway, we'll find out what that's all about. But right now we're going to check in. Did you say you had one more sports story of interest?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Okay. You shot your sports wad.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah. I'm done. Over to you, Christy.

[Tom Griswold]

Nick, you originally hail from Kansas City.

[Nick Griffin]

I, I do, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Nick Griffin]

That's, that's, that's where I grew up.

[Tom Griswold]

But you've been living in New York a long time. Are you. Do you. Have you remained a Chiefs fan?

[Nick Griffin]

I have remained a Chiefs fan. I have, well, actually three brothers that are just insane Chiefs fans. Those kind you see at the games that are pounding on the, you know, the side of the. Of the whatever to make noise and just losing their minds. Their whole year depends on it. But I'm, I'm more of a mild fan. I mean, I love them, but I don't. I don't. It doesn't control my day.

[Ace Cosby]

Do you own a jersey?

[Nick Griffin]

No, I don't have a jersey.

[Ace Cosby]

You don't look like a jersey. I have a towel.

[Josh Arnold]

You're not a face painter.

[Nick Griffin]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

You have a. You have, you have a chief's towel.

[Nick Griffin]

Just a hand towel that my family say. Yeah, one of those ways.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. I was just envisioning you, not a beach. Getting out of the shower, throwing out a Kansas City Chief sarong and walking into your girlfriend's room and going, would you like to see the real chief?

[Josh Arnold]

Guess what? I have a sarong. No Raiders towels.

[Tom Griswold]

Full blown Raider. Like big size Raiders towels in beach towel. Oh, wow. What's interesting is they're on the beach right now. Raiders are going to be watching the playoffs not from the sideline, but from their living rooms on tv. If they're rebuilding or didn't they get rid of both their general manager and their. What?

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, this week? Yep.

[Ace Cosby]

They're gonna rebuild.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Now get rid of Garner. Good.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Well, they have my favorite player, Gardner Minshu, but he's was injured for most of the season.

[Nick Griffin]

He was a former cult.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, he was a former Eagle, former Jaguar.

[Ace Cosby]

He's been around.

[Tom Griswold]

Real, real colorful guy. Really fun guy. Now, Patty G yesterday played a song for us with a full band. I'd like to, if you don't mind hearing the acoustic version. Yeah. This is a song that we talk a lot about identity theft these days and that sort of thing. I know right now I'm dealing with a. One of those credit card things for the third time this year. You know that all of a sudden you get. Yes, you get that phone call, hey.

[Ace Cosby]

Did you buy a refrigerator in Manhattan? Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you buy a table tennis set in Saskatchewan? No. Oh, God, not this again. Well, but Pat, you've had some experiences in this and you have a song about it.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I just had it happen three days ago again. This is the third time this year for me to be hacked or stolen. So this was written like a month before all this happened. So maybe I shouldn't write about it. But I have already written about it.

[Josh Arnold]

Here we go.

[Pat Godwin]

People tell me hackers listen to all of us on a mobile phones Buy online and steal your info and get in your accounts at the savings loan My credit's bad I can't get a mortgage can't even finance a late model car I wouldn't mind someone taking my name Give me a brand new start so feel free to steal my identity Steal my idea Steal my identity My mom her maiden name's qwerty 1234 is my passcode My pet's name is Fido now you're in me look at all the stuff we owe I had three surgeries with insurance Two on the back, one for the heart they garnished my wages couldn't pay my deductible Take my name give me a brand new start Steal my identity My Social Security number is 209-52-6413 write it down Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah I steal my identity Let me tell you a little bit about myself My FICO score is 303 I'm a single dad paying child support one paycheck away from bankruptcy. So please steal my identity Steal my identity I beg you Na na na na na na na na no ira, no annuity, no nothing. N n n n n n the IRS is aud me. Don't answer the phone. It's a collection agency.

[Tom Griswold]

Steal my identity all right, thank you very much, Pat. I missed one of them. What was the last number in that Social Security number? 5?

[Josh Arnold]

3.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, thank you very much. Now we have comedian Nick Griffin in the studio with us. We'll talk with Nick, see what's going on in his life. Are. Are you currently living alone?

[Nick Griffin]

Guess who's getting married.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, my God. Really?

[Nick Griffin]

No.

[Ace Cosby]

My heart stopped.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you had me too wild. Now we got a lot to talk about here.

[Christy Lee]

I got myself. So, yeah, I got nervous because if Nick's getting married, my lady was going to be really upset. I hadn't asked her by now because she's a big Nick fan, so.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. Once again, Nick's on his way to the jukebox in Peoria for some great Live, stand up comedy.

[Christy Lee]

Shut up, Christy.

[Tom Griswold]

I was talking to Nick. Are you? Because I think last time you were here, you had separated from your lady friend, if you will.

[Ace Cosby]

A new friend?

[Nick Griffin]

Yeah. I.

[Tom Griswold]

There. Someone new?

[Nick Griffin]

Yeah. Oh, Going through some. A breakup now. And it's sad and embarrassing because I'm in my 50s and I supposed to be going through a break. Supposed to be getting divorced.

[Ace Cosby]

You're lucky. It's cheaper having a heart attack.

[Nick Griffin]

Something grown up.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, all those breakup songs are, you know, Taylor swift level, maybe 20s, 30s.

[Nick Griffin]

We went out for seven years, though. That's off and on. We had a breakup there for about six months and then we got back together, but my mom said, are you gonna still be friends?

[Jordan Jensen]

Yes.

[Nick Griffin]

We're gonna get together and giggle about how it all fell apart.

[Pat Godwin]

Over a warm beverage.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, but that's. That's so that's over. Over. You're not going to get back together?

[Nick Griffin]

No, we're not going to get back.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you still speak to this person at all?

[Nick Griffin]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

No reason to, I guess.

[Nick Griffin]

Yeah. I don't know. I just. It's so hard. Everything's so hard. Relationship, like, you know, one minute you're like, I'm in love. The next you're like, I gotta get out of this. And you get out of it. And you're like, oh, maybe I was just hungry.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, we'll. We'll cat up with making his love life, etc. Etc. What have you got? Coming up, Christy Lee?

[Ace Cosby]

Coming up. We do have love in the news. Have you ever thought about implanting a magnet in your skin so you could be stuck to your friend?

[Josh Arnold]

You know, I haven't. Boy.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Is this a new thing?

[Ace Cosby]

Apparently.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Josh Arnold]

What about when you walk by the fridge?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I mean, it's handy.

[Josh Arnold]

All of a sudden you can't get off the subway.

[Tom Griswold]

If you got kids, it's really handy.

[Ace Cosby]

Hey, I lose them.

[Tom Griswold]

I like. I like your daughter heart's work. How can you carry it on your body? Oh, well, I'm magnetized. We'll find out the answer to that question right now. Speaking of love, Stephen Singer Jewelers. Really? It really should be about love. His. You're supposed to go to I hate stevensinger.com, but you'll probably love Stephen Singer. I suggest that he change his. His website to Steven Singer Save My Ass dot com. But he didn't. It's still I hate stevensinger.com. what's it all about? It's about Valentine's Day. It's just down the road here and you could get yourself in trouble if you don't act now. Get this done. Stephen Singer, well, he's got, of course, diamonds. That's what his specialty is. I'm talking about bracelets, earrings. Of course, you can always upgrade and get full value from Steven Singer. He's got his famous lifetime guarantee. Also, he's got the roses. These aren't roses that wilt. These are those roses, 24 karat gold. They're dipped in it and then they're treated with special, special kind of enamel. And this year it's called the, the peacock teal. So imagine kind of the backside of a peacock, all those colorful kind of Caribbean colors there. It's a beautiful rose. And these things start at just 79 bucks. And there, of course, is that Steven Singer lifetime guarantees. You gotta look at one. Just take a, take a moment. Go to ihatestevensinger.com. don't accept a fake. Get the real thing from Steven Singer Jewelers. Don't forget about the diamonds. He's got those, too. In fact, one of those roses with a little, maybe a bracelet hanging from it. Oh, you're gonna, you're gonna write me a letter to thank me.

[Ace Cosby]

The At Last Bracelet. Highly recommend that one.

[Tom Griswold]

The At Last Bracelet. Another classic. I hate. Stephensinger.com. the famous guarantee. Free shipping. Of course, once again, just Visit [e-mail] Coming up, magnets and your love life. I can't wait to hear about that one. Also, we have iguanas in the news and they may be falling from the sky. We'll tell you why. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome to the Jungle Clones. It's the Jim Rome show podcast. The greatest and loyal fan base ever. You, the clones, it all starts with the jungle. We're in it to win it. And I'm in it to go as hard as I possibly can every day to make sure that you clone get the best possible product every single day. Day one, all in. Let's freaking go. The Jim Rome Show.

[Josh Arnold]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're here in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios proudly presenting to you. A heck of a show, aren't we?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, we are.

[Tom Griswold]

It's very nice, but we'll go around the horn here. Let's see, there's Ace Cosby. He got rid of the beard. Thank you, Ace. Very handsome man. Much better without the beard. Sorry about the bullying. This wasn't your thing. Again with the beard. You look kind of homeless and like you were sleeping under a bridge. Speaking of beards, there's a big bushy one over there. That's Jeff Oskay sitting in for Chick McGee today.

[Christy Lee]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

And Jeff will be part of our special show coming to the Riverside Casino and Resort in Riverside, Iowa, Friday, February 21st. It's going to be Mr. Oscar along with that guy over there, Pat Godwin. And we'll see. We'll be joined by Al Jackson and Josh Arnold. It's going to be a fun time. We're doing a special morning show that morning. All the details can be found at, at Riverside casino and resort.com and it's all courtesy of 100.7. That's 100.7 the fox in cedar Rapids. Christy Lee's right. There she is at the Silac Insurance news desk. A couple quick things. Joining us in the studio, veteran stand up comedian and apparently still single ladies. He is the very handsome Nick Griffin. And Nick is on his way to the jukebox in Peoria tonight and tomorrow.

[Nick Griffin]

That's right, two shows tomorrow, one show tonight.

[Tom Griswold]

And then while I'm at it, Heywood Banks is going to be in Massillon, Ohio at Crackpots with a kid, which makes it funnier. And then he'll be at the Funny Farm in Youngstown Saturday night. Heywood Banks live and in person. And let's see who else is out there. Oh, I know Kostaki is going to be at the White Squirrel Brewery in Bowling Green, Kentucky tonight and then in Evansville on Saturday at O'Brien Sports Bar. So some great comedy going on out there during this, this cold snap. Which leads us to Christy Lee and the cold snap in Florida causing a rather unusual problem.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, the residents there are being warned to prepare for falling iguanas amid the dropping temperatures.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't that in the Bible? Temperatures are the chapter where the iguanas.

[Ace Cosby]

Are falling to drop into the high 30s in Florida as a cold wave takes over the central and eastern United States. As a result, cold stunned iguanas may fall from trees where they sleep. The reptiles, which can be up to five feet long, that's as tall as I am and weigh up to £25, can actually hurt you if they fall on top of you. So as you said, everybody should wear a helmet in Florida.

[Josh Arnold]

It would be kind of a bummer to get hit in the head with a frozen 25 pound iguana.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Don't look up.

[Tom Griswold]

And you're not supposed to tail right through your eyes. You're supposed to leave Them alone. Right. You know, you don't put them in the microwave.

[Ace Cosby]

They remain breathing during this whole thing. They just shut down their bodily functions to a point where they can survive the cold for, you know, however long it takes to warm them back up.

[Tom Griswold]

Doesn't a frozen iguana sound like the worst thing on the ice cream truck? Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't understand why these aren't moving.

[Tom Griswold]

Or the frozen iguana. Sounds like a bad Tennessee Williams play.

[Christy Lee]

It sounds like a drink you'd get in the Caribbean.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I'll have the frozen iguana and a pina colada for the lady.

[Ace Cosby]

They usually do okay once it warms back up to about 50. So they'll be all right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but you don't want to get hit by one.

[Ace Cosby]

No, you don't.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe you should have, like, an iguana Brella, maybe.

[Josh Arnold]

Man, that could be an invention.

[Ace Cosby]

It'd have to be pretty strong, like Kevlar or something.

[Josh Arnold]

And maybe it cups upward. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

If nothing else, that would be such a great look. Like a reverse umbrella.

[Nick Griffin]

Why are you late, Fred? I got hit by an iguana.

[Josh Arnold]

I remember I saw you sort of run from one.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I hate them.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I know.

[Nick Griffin]

They're really creepy.

[Josh Arnold]

And I go, why are you. What are you doing? What are you so afraid of? And you describe them as snakes with legs.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I can't stand them. I was somewhere in the Caribbean once. In there. The. The locals, if you will, they had painted up the iguanas.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, wow.

[Tom Griswold]

I remember the. We were going on some, like, on this boat thing, and we went by this canal and there were all these iguanas on top of it. And they'd all been. They'd all been kind of graffitied.

[Josh Arnold]

Huh.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, do they iguanas like being painted?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Ace Cosby]

Did they ask first?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know. They could. They bite, right? I don't think.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's what I was going to ask. What is your fear? That the. Yeah, you just don't want it on you. You don't want it biting you.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't like lizards.

[Ace Cosby]

He doesn't like reptiles.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, but what's the fear? Is it. Are you scary?

[Pat Godwin]

I mean, they look like they'll bite.

[Josh Arnold]

You, but I'm not.

[Christy Lee]

Their tail whips are really hard.

[Josh Arnold]

I know.

[Christy Lee]

They hurt really bad.

[Josh Arnold]

They do, but I. I get scared. When you.

[Christy Lee]

I had two iguanas.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

My brother had two.

[Christy Lee]

I was so white trash.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

We had a couple growing up because we were also Caucasian garbage Yeah, they'll whip their tails.

[Christy Lee]

I mean, it'll. It'll cut you. Yeah, they can do some damage.

[Ace Cosby]

Did you have the green ones?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

What do you keep them in?

[Christy Lee]

I let mine free range around my apartment.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no way.

[Tom Griswold]

All right.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I would imagine they would eat bugs.

[Christy Lee]

I would stop at Wendy's every two days and get a garden salad with tomatoes and cucumbers and stuff and just set it on the floor, and they'd just eat out of the garden salad.

[Josh Arnold]

Was it always peeling?

[Tom Griswold]

I have a question. Were you ever able to get a woman in your apartment?

[Christy Lee]

No. Well, I only had one iguana, and I couldn't find it. I thought I escaped. So I put up some missing iguana posters around my apartment. And one morning I was going to work, and I come out and there was a paper box with a lid on it. And I took the lid off my iguanas in there. I dump it back in the apartment, I go to work. Two days later, I'm sitting there watching tv. My iguana is sitting on top my VCR where it normally sat because it was warm there. All of a sudden, another iguana walks out from behind the tv.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, how are you?

[Christy Lee]

And I'm like. And my lady friend goes, I didn't know you had two iguanas. I was like, I don't. And so apparently, one was hiding. Someone either caught one or felt bad. I lost one and gave me their iguana. And I had no idea because, surprisingly, they look a lot alike.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

And so, yeah, that's how I had two iguanas.

[Tom Griswold]

Whatever happened to them?

[Christy Lee]

I gave them to a roommate.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, okay.

[Christy Lee]

When I couldn't pay the rent, he goes, I bought those iguanas. I was like, they're yours?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You mean in trade?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. That's awesome.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I was a real dirtbag bag.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. How much is an iguana cost?

[Christy Lee]

Like 25 bucks? I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

50 bucks for rent. Must have been a nice place.

[Pat Godwin]

No, A lizard's a thousand dollars.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Whoa.

[Ace Cosby]

You could have gotten another one. We told you.

[Pat Godwin]

Now, they're typically 40.

[Tom Griswold]

And your lizard died, right? Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Over the holidays.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry.

[Josh Arnold]

Sorry to hear it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Nick, this is Pat's son. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Speedy.

[Josh Arnold]

Speedy.

[Pat Godwin]

He survived six years.

[Ace Cosby]

Leopard. Gecko, right?

[Pat Godwin]

Gecko, yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Beautiful animal, by the way.

[Pat Godwin]

Very nice.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Christy Lee]

In any event, on an iv.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

The cold weather in Florida, the iguanas.

[Ace Cosby]

Are falling from the trees.

[Tom Griswold]

Sounds like an old Carson bit. Hey, it's so cold in Florida. How cold is it? It's so cold, I had to rake up my iguanas. They're stunned in the ground. It's raining iguanas. It's. That's my favorite band, the raining Iguanas.

[Ace Cosby]

Speaking of cold, Colorado police say a driver following his GPS took a wrong turn and ended up stranded on a ski slope. According to the Summit County Sheriff's Office, skiers at the Keystone Ski Resort encountered the sedan parked in the snow. Officials said they found a note on the window from the driver explaining he took a wrong turn while following his GPS and somehow ended up stuck on the ski slope.

[Josh Arnold]

Yikes.

[Ace Cosby]

A tow truck was called, of course, to remove the vehicle safely and return it to his car.

[Tom Griswold]

And he had to pay 300 bucks for a lifting.

[Christy Lee]

Well, the snowboarders probably loved it. They were probably grinding off the bumpers and doing flips over the roof.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. By any chance, was the GPS in Colorado directing him to the weed dispensary? Maybe. They're usually not right there at the ski resort.

[Ace Cosby]

Do you notice a lot of marijuana smell on the slopes now?

[Tom Griswold]

You know I didn't. That's. It's an interesting thing that you're asking. No. And I was skiing in. Nick, I was skiing in Colorado a couple weeks ago and there are no dispensaries, at least that I'm aware of. Right. In the main Village. Village. But there's one right outside it. I know because we stopped there on the way. Someone in my. Someone in my party wanted to stop there and they went to the dis. It's interesting.

[Ace Cosby]

Did you go in?

[Tom Griswold]

No, No. I went to Starbucks. They went to the dispensary. So we each have our own poison.

[Josh Arnold]

Can you light up a cigarette?

[Tom Griswold]

It.

[Josh Arnold]

On the slopes.

[Tom Griswold]

I saw. It's funny you'd ask that too. I only saw three people smoking the whole time I was there.

[Josh Arnold]

But were any of them. You know when you get off the lift and you're at the top of the hill and you just want to look down road. Can you just smoke a cigarette?

[Tom Griswold]

You could.

[Josh Arnold]

You're allowed. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

You could. I didn't. I saw three people smoking the whole time I was there.

[Pat Godwin]

See any places where they could put the butts or they just throw them.

[Tom Griswold]

Out in the snow?

[Josh Arnold]

Right in the snow. It seems weird.

[Ace Cosby]

It does like a horrible thing to do, doesn't it?

[Nick Griffin]

With the.

[Tom Griswold]

With the weather in December, in early January, to take off your gloves and go through all that, to light a cigarette, you really gotta want it Comedian Nick Griffin.

[Josh Arnold]

Have you ever skied?

[Nick Griffin]

I did one time in Boise, Idaho, at the. I was working at the Funny Bone, and they took me up and what'd you think? I was miserable because everyone had to stop and help you. You know, I. It was. If I. You know, it was a thing you could just be good at, but I just kept falling and everyone had to stop. I was ruining everyone one's day.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, the first. The first couple days can be for God. But. Yeah, I saw only a couple people vaping, but very few people smoking.

[Ace Cosby]

I don't see people smoking much.

[Nick Griffin]

I don't either.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

When you see this in New York, when you're walking down the streets, you don't see a lot of smoking.

[Nick Griffin]

Some, but not like it used to be, obviously.

[Josh Arnold]

I always kind of like it.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, good for you.

[Josh Arnold]

Stick with it. Good for you. I just like the willful. You're just ignoring everything you know about it.

[Ace Cosby]

Literature, science, Die be damned.

[Josh Arnold]

What the hell.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a lot to be said for that. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

You see someone in the car, you're like, look at that.

[Josh Arnold]

Holy cow.

[Ace Cosby]

That's something you really don't.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

But when you do, you're like, whoa.

[Tom Griswold]

We were talking about this the other day. You'll be driving around and you stop at a stoplight. It's like, oh, my God, the marijuana smell.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. I play the who spoke in the marijuana game, trying to find.

[Nick Griffin]

Oh, my God. Well, on the other hand, New York, in terms of pot is just crazy.

[Ace Cosby]

Is it legal?

[Nick Griffin]

Everybody. Oh, yeah, everybody smokes. It's fine. But it's just. I. There was two guys smoking on the subway the other day, just smoking. You know, it's late at night and.

[Ace Cosby]

Wow.

[Nick Griffin]

They were.

[Pat Godwin]

Are you allowed to do that?

[Nick Griffin]

No, you're not. You're not allowed to do take your pants down either. But people do.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, two weeks ago, he said, hey, no more letting other passengers on fire.

[Josh Arnold]

Gets a little Thunderdomey.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Nick Griffin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know if anybody saw this last night, the Notre Dame one, by the way, but there was a situation in which people were heaving bottles.

[Nick Griffin]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I saw that they were throwing. Did you notice that? And then they did a close up. And it was a Michelob light.

[Nick Griffin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And I'm wondering, was that. Is that the latest thing in product placement? I mean, I was always surprised when they said this. Injury timeout, as this person's brain pan has just been shuffled.

[Josh Arnold]

We're gonna.

[Tom Griswold]

It's brought to you by.

[Nick Griffin]

It was a clear shot of Micheloblite.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I'm just wondering if that's. If they said, hey, hey, zoom in on that. They're one of our sponsors.

[Josh Arnold]

I would say of all the beer bottles thrown, Michelob Light is on the lower way low. Yeah, yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

It was Michelob Light or not Michelob Ultra.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, you're gonna get a Pabst bottle thrown at. But Michelob.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they at one point, the bottles.

[Josh Arnold]

When the Michelob bottles were really weirdly, sort of almost femininely shaped.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes. And their cans are still thin.

[Josh Arnold]

I love Michelob. I always do.

[Ace Cosby]

Me too.

[Tom Griswold]

Was it. Was it make room for. What was this jingle?

[Josh Arnold]

I don't remember, but I always thought it was so taste and even. I'll have a Mick Ultra now, too. What was I get made fun of?

[Tom Griswold]

What was it?

[Ace Cosby]

What was the shape for you?

[Nick Griffin]

Was it. What was the champagne of beers?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, Miller Highlight High Life. And it used to be the champagne of bottled beer.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. Miller High Life is back in a big way. Amongst my daughters are in their 20s. They both drink that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I got a refrigerator full of it.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, it's kind of cool.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I like it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I forget. I'm trying to think of the jingles. I know I. I can hum a lot of them and sing a bunch of them Hams. The beer refresher. Remember that one from the Water Best for brewing. Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So let's move forward here. We're speaking with our guest. He is comedian Nick Griffin. Nick is on his way to the famous jukebox in Peoria. And I think that's where Kostaki recorded his album.

[Nick Griffin]

He did.

[Tom Griswold]

And once again, Kostaki is not there tonight. He's at the White Squirrel Brewery in Bowling Green, Kentucky. And be sure to go see the show and tell him what your favorite football team is so he can make fun of it. Evansville, Saturday night for Castock yet O'Brien Sports Bar. But once again, Nick, tonight and tomorrow at the Jukebox in pr. What else is new in your life? You're living by yourself in New York City. Last time you were here, you said you were thinking of moving, but you're still in New York.

[Nick Griffin]

I'm still there. I don't know. I'm trying to be more positive. That it was a big goal this year.

[Josh Arnold]

Good.

[Nick Griffin]

Yeah. They say if you want to be more positive, you have to get rid of the negative people in your life. So I'm all alone now, but no one knows it.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you on the road most of the time?

[Nick Griffin]

I am, yeah. I had a pretty good year last Year, I probably did 30. 30, 32 weeks on the road, and. And then I just do sets in New York when I'm not. When I'm not doing that. You know, it's. But like I said, just trying to stay positive. I don't know. I. It's. I. I don't see many people, so I don't really. I have a sister who's a grandma, and I was thinking that you got to be positive when you're. You can't be a. A negative grandma. You can't be walking around going, geez, what's the point? You know, my cookies suck. This is doing with my grandma life.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, Christy Lee, what's going on over there?

[Ace Cosby]

Story of a Massachusetts couple going viral. They have honored their relationship with an unusual body modification. Sadie Rendell and her fiance, Hannah. Oh, Sadie is a guy up here. Oh, is it two girls? I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

It's two ladies.

[Ace Cosby]

Sadie Rendell and her fiance, Hannah Hansman, each have magnets implanted underneath their skin that connect when they touch. Ms. Rendell told Jam Press that they use the implants almost daily to connect with each other.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Ace Cosby]

She added, the magnets aren't painful to use or to the touch. If anything, you could forget it's there. And she said it's also a fun party trick.

[Tom Griswold]

So they're in there, like in their hand.

[Ace Cosby]

It doesn't say where they are.

[Josh Arnold]

It does.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's. Well, there's a photograph, and it looks like they're on the back of their hand.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, okay.

[Ace Cosby]

Okay. It cost a thousand dollars. I do know that. And it involves putting the magnet in a pocket in the skin using a needle. So it just slips underneath.

[Josh Arnold]

I guess back of the hand's not terribly inconvenient. You're sitting next to each other.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But it's not sexy. Put them in the nipples. Now we got a party going. I see you get Hannah and her sister, whatever her name is, here. You get those two together nipples, nipple to nipple. Now we're talking. Now we're talking. Party trick. Hey, girls, take off those tops. Let's see some lesbian action. I. It'd be also, as I said earlier, very handy if you have kids because you can have their artwork hanging from your nipples.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Does your. See, my refrigerator doesn't accept magnets.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, I don't have one of those.

[Josh Arnold]

I got lucky. Mine does. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So.

[Josh Arnold]

But yeah, so I've got a ton of refrigerator magnets.

[Tom Griswold]

You do?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Do you buy them when you go places like this?

[Josh Arnold]

I do. Like a Lot of those horror movie conventions. I buy, you know, I've got magnets sense of Freddie.

[Tom Griswold]

Ask Ms. Hooker. I think is the other room. Ask her. Have we ever done a Bob and Tom show refrigerator magnet?

[Josh Arnold]

I, I had some.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes, we did, years ago. Yeah, right.

[Josh Arnold]

They were like some of the first stuff I got from the Bob and Tom show before I worked the guitar shaped one and then the logo.

[Tom Griswold]

Really? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I wonder if we should we bring them back?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, man, we should bring a lot.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, we should back.

[Ace Cosby]

We're getting head shaking everywhere.

[Josh Arnold]

Look at that. You know, Jess has some right now.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, there we go. Okay, now on Nick Griffin, a comedian. I don't know if you have ever done any merch. I don't know, like, you like signed Prozac?

[Nick Griffin]

I'm not gonna respond to that.

[Ace Cosby]

You should not.

[Nick Griffin]

No, I, I used to sell my cd, but that's been about it. I, I haven't, haven't been a merch guy.

[Tom Griswold]

I, I can't really see you doing a hard sell.

[Nick Griffin]

Well, I'm not, yeah, that's the huge part of it. And yeah, just, I'm always worried. I read this, I read this about Todd Snyder, that he got punched once after a show when he was by his merch table. And so he doesn't go out to the merch table anymore. And I, I don't know why he.

[Ace Cosby]

Got punched, but Snyder's a nice guy.

[Nick Griffin]

He's a great guy.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, he's not particularly punchable.

[Nick Griffin]

And so I, I, I, I don't either. I blame Todd Snyder.

[Ace Cosby]

Fair enough.

[Tom Griswold]

The beer run guy. Yes. Thank you very much. Not the design.

[Ace Cosby]

Huh? Oh, yeah, there is a Todd Snyder.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there's a. I found that out there.

[Ace Cosby]

I thought, hey, check out some of his clothes, actually.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, if, if Al Jackson's doing shoes, maybe Todd Snyder has a line of shirts. Who knows? Coming up in the news, what have you got, Christy Lee?

[Ace Cosby]

Coming up, we have the school of Rock in an interesting way. We have the world's famous sperm donor. And that morning cup of Joe might be saving your life. We'll talk about that.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, good, because I'm having one right now. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning, even though we're not too much to look at. You can also watch the show on our YouTube channel for the Ruolph.

[Josh Arnold]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're here at the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Jeff Oskay's over there.

[Christy Lee]

Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts.

[Josh Arnold]

Thank you. Jeffrey, Christy, Pat, Ace. I'm Josh Arnold. There's Tom. And Tom. We have a very. One of our favorite people, really a.

[Tom Griswold]

Veteran of a lot of television work, especially the old Letterman show. He is comedian Nick Griffin. Nick has joined us in the studio. He will be in Peoria at the famous, famous jukebox coming up tonight and tomorrow he has a special. It's out there on YouTube. It's called Absolutely Wonderful.

[Nick Griffin]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

And it is absolutely wonderful indeed. And we've learned that Nick is once again on his own without girlfriend. Without.

[Nick Griffin]

I still love. Pardon me? I still love her though.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh yeah.

[Nick Griffin]

Well, I mean, you know, my buddy said how do you know you love her? I'm like, I don't know. What do I got to convince you to.

[Tom Griswold]

Has she moved on?

[Nick Griffin]

Yes, she has.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Sorry.

[Nick Griffin]

She's found another lover.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. Yeah, that'll.

[Nick Griffin]

But and that's hard. You know, I, my buddy said would you expect her to just stay home for the rest of her life? I said no, I didn't expect it. I wanted it.

[Tom Griswold]

That's nice. Now Christy Lee looks like she's in her apres ski outfit.

[Ace Cosby]

I've checked local listings but it's a little chilly here. Yes. Researchers say people who drink coffee in the morning have a lower risk of dying from cardiovascular disease compared to all day coffee drinkers and non coffee drinkers. So that cup of joe you're drinking might save your life someday. The head of the research project stated, quote, our findings indicate that it's not just whether you drink coffee or how much, but it's the time of day when you drink your coffee that's important.

[Josh Arnold]

Really.

[Ace Cosby]

Seems that jump start your metabolism or.

[Tom Griswold]

I wonder if it's maybe the people that are drinking coffee in the morning or active and working and getting up.

[Josh Arnold]

I know you always wonder if there's some other component that's.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

And I'd like to know with these studies if they mean caffeinated or decaf or if it matters.

[Tom Griswold]

It's caffeinated.

[Ace Cosby]

It's caffeinated.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. Because I stopped drinking caffeine after around 11am and then. But I will have a couple decaf in the afternoon.

[Tom Griswold]

Doesn't it seem like when you have a regular coffee at about 4 or 5 in the afternoon it's like sneaking cigarettes in high school school?

[Josh Arnold]

Kinda. Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And no one's gonna see me I'm getting a coffee.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, I'll do it on Friday or Saturday nights. I'm like, oh, yeah, this is the place.

[Tom Griswold]

The place I go a lot. They know me. So in the afternoons I'm going a decaf everyone. I'll kind of look around sometimes. No.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

You don't have trouble falling asleep if you drink coffee at 4 in the afternoon.

[Tom Griswold]

As you know, I can fall asleep anytime, anywhere. I could go to. I could be asleep in two minutes if I went into the other room. I have that ability.

[Ace Cosby]

I don't have that. I, that's not fair.

[Nick Griffin]

Yeah, I have tremendous difficulties.

[Tom Griswold]

Me too. Well, that's because I sleep for five hours, so I'm always exhausted.

[Pat Godwin]

I would kill for five.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, you don't even get five.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh my gosh.

[Pat Godwin]

I always think like I have to be somewhere at a plane or the radio or at my all moments.

[Ace Cosby]

You are full of anxiety.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I am.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, why do you say that?

[Tom Griswold]

Pat Godwin is going to be our headliner when we do our first show of the year. It'll be the Bob and Tom Show Comedy Tour with us. It's going to be, let's see, it'll be Pat Godwin, Josh Arnold, Al Jackson and Jeff Oskay. I'll be your host. It's going to be a special event Friday evening, February 21st at the Riverside Casino and Resort in Riverside, Iowa, brought to you by 100.7 the fox and cedar Rapids ticket info right now at Riverside casino and resort.com and we're going to have a couple special treats for you. I can't say exactly what they are, but be prepared. That's all I'm saying. Very excited about the show. While I'm at it, I did mention that Nick Griffin is tonight and tomorrow at the Jukebox in Peoria. Heywood Banks at Crackpots, Massillon, Ohio, tonight and the Funny Farm in Youngstown, a great spot on Saturday evening. Now let's get back to the the Silac Insurance news desk with Christy Lee.

[Ace Cosby]

The exciting world that we live in. I came in during the break. We were all talking. Some of us were talking about our teeth and jaws and going to the dentist. This is something. A Canadian student broke her jaw biting into a jawbreaker.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, what is that on the nose? What is that phrase?

[Ace Cosby]

Advertisement Javier Weissom and her friend had purchased the 3 inch Jawbreaker candy candies and began to eat them. She bit down and felt pain rippled through her jaw.

[Josh Arnold]

Yikes.

[Ace Cosby]

And her friend noticed that she had a chipped tooth the 19 year old went to the hospital where she'd learned she'd fractured her jaw which required surgery. She says it's traumatized her enough to avoid this candy for life. Yikes.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. You don't you. I mean we knew that early on as kids. You don't just bite into a jawbreaker.

[Ace Cosby]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I guess cotton candy in the future.

[Ace Cosby]

Well her I better jaws. I better mouse wired shut. Have you ever seen anybody that's had that done?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. Oh, a friend of mine, I had.

[Ace Cosby]

A friend in high school.

[Tom Griswold]

They had to. This is kind of cool. They had to take out a couple teeth. They were completely wired shot and they took out a couple teeth right down here in the front for a straw. And a straw. And then he had to carry wire cutters with him at all times in case he started to vomit. He'd have to cut the. He never did. But he'd have to in an emergency cut them so he could not. What would that you. You drown in your own.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Which is a pretty rock and roll way to go. Asphyxiating on your own vomit. Yeah, it's kind of rad.

[Ace Cosby]

Not with your mouth wires.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there's, but you know, there's a. You want your, you want your last thoughts to be the horrific odor slowly seeping out your teeth.

[Josh Arnold]

Happened to Bon Scott. Yeah. Oh, boy.

[Tom Griswold]

What's the, what's the line in where the guy dies swallowing someone else's vomit?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Spinal Tap. There it is. Okay.

[Nick Griffin]

Bill Hicks had a line whereas Keith Moon drowned in his own vomit. You know how much in a pool of his own vomit. Do you know how much you have to vomit to fill a pool?

[Tom Griswold]

That guy can party. Coming up, we're going to be visited with comedian Jordan Jensen. And also we have an interesting thing going on in the world of, of cell phones of contemporary culture that I was not aware of. Also remember the movie School of Rock?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Kind of a reunion.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, cool.

[Tom Griswold]

Just a few days ago. And we'll find out what that. What that's all about. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show. This is the Bob and Tom show. Text us at 888-26-2866. One more Bob and Tom next.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom show broadcasting from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. We're live. And there she is, my friends. Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance Company news desk.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi.

[Josh Arnold]

Pat Godwin's over there. Hey, Jeff. Oscar across the way. Howdy, Ace Cosby's there with a joke of the day coming up. I'm Josh Arnold of the I Hate stevensinger.com sidekick chair. There's Tom Dom. We have one of our not only favorite comedians, but favorite people with us this morning.

[Tom Griswold]

He's the very handsome comedian Nick Griffin. I always say that to get the ladies juiced up in case they want to go see him. He's at the Jukebox, Peoria, Illinois, USA tonight and tomorrow. And Nick is a veteran of the David Letterman show. How many did you do all together?

[Nick Griffin]

11.

[Tom Griswold]

11.

[Josh Arnold]

That's 11 more than I do did.

[Nick Griffin]

What were you just on the Tonight Show? I did it like, two.

[Josh Arnold]

Never heard of it. Yeah, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Great set.

[Nick Griffin]

It was interesting, too, because I. I tried to get on, like, three years earlier, and I couldn't get on. I just. They just didn't like the material. And I was at the Comedy Cellar one night just doing a set, and I had a decent set. It wasn't great, but it was decent. And I got off stage and this guy came running, running up to me going, hey, I really love the set. I. The booker from the Tonight Show. I'd love to get you on the show. Just send me your set that written out, and we'll try to figure something. It was just out of nowhere. It was one of those things where somebody important was sitting in the audience. That's awesome.

[Tom Griswold]

You were great. So you had to write it down.

[Nick Griffin]

Yeah, I just wanted it in. I guess it was for the lawyers.

[Josh Arnold]

That's fairly standard. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you type it on a computer? Did you write it by hand?

[Nick Griffin]

I typed. Typed it on the.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that's a professional.

[Christy Lee]

Did you do that in braille or did you.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I'm asking for a kind of question.

[Josh Arnold]

I think it's a good question because, you know, somebody is saying.

[Nick Griffin]

I was so stunned by that question.

[Tom Griswold]

I had to think about it because Nick, when. When he said it, if you were looking at him, he took his hand and he went like. He was writing and that. We had a funny story about that yesterday. Remember the bank robbery story? Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

A guy tried to rob a bank, and his note was so illegible that the clerk didn't know what he was trying to.

[Tom Griswold]

It was like right out of that Woody Allen movie you were telling me about.

[Ace Cosby]

The guy he left scurried out of there.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, that's hilarious. What is this word here? Gum. When you got a. What? Where? It was in California, Right.

[Ace Cosby]

I thought it was in Colorado.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, you're right. Here it is. Yeah. Colorado suspect wanted and failed bank robbery. Handed teller note that was illegible is the news story here. The teller struggled to read the note and apparently the man became frustrated and ran out of the bank. So what's next? Texting. Hand them your phone. No, no, no, no. Don't flip it over to the next page.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, that's what. Didn't Josh have that? You had the emoji joke about you're going to hand the phone with the emoji.

[Josh Arnold]

No, I believe Jeff.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

He'll just have like the bag of money and a gun.

[Ace Cosby]

Hold the phone out.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, just hold it out.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, that doesn't sound crazy. No.

[Pat Godwin]

I can see happening.

[Josh Arnold]

Somebody's absolutely.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, wow. Scary.

[Ace Cosby]

I wouldn't be surprised if it hasn't already happened.

[Tom Griswold]

Good point. Christy Lee once again at the SILAC insurance news desk. Coming up in a few minutes, we're going to meet comedian Jordan Jensen. But right now it's Christy with her apres ski look. I like that Christy.

[Ace Cosby]

Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

You look like a little snow bunny. Little sex kitten.

[Ace Cosby]

I do like skiing, I will say that. Really? Yeah. I haven't been in about six years, but I enjoy it a lot.

[Tom Griswold]

Me too. It's fun.

[Ace Cosby]

A new toaster shaped device may prove to be the future of phone charging. It's called the swip pit.

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Ace Cosby]

Or swipe pit. Do you think it's swipe or swip? SW I, P P I T T. Swip it.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Or they might. It might be swipe it real quick. Who knows?

[Ace Cosby]

It's making its debut at the CES Tech show out in Vegas. It has a hub with five fully charged batteries and a proprietary phone case system. And their phone is in the special case. You need to only drop it into the slot in the hub and it replaces your drain battery with a fully charged one in two seconds.

[Josh Arnold]

Two seconds.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. So I get it.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

So they're staying. Yeah, the things stay maintained. Okay.

[Ace Cosby]

It's got to be. Sweep it.

[Tom Griswold]

It's not. It's not charging your phone really. It's just replacing the battery.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, exactly. There. Those are charging in the hub.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, the batteries are already. So this thing, you just drop it in there like a toaster and then it just immediately pops back up with. It's got a fresh battery in it, which means the case is going to have to be really fat and heavy and thick.

[Ace Cosby]

The device apparently the first of its kind. The system expected to ship in June. Prices start at $450 for the hub. $120 for the cases.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

How. I mean, really, you need that?

[Ace Cosby]

I don't need demand for that.

[Josh Arnold]

No, but I bet there's a demand for it. There are people who let me live on their phones, so.

[Tom Griswold]

But even if you do.

[Josh Arnold]

But for work wise, I'm talking about.

[Tom Griswold]

So, I mean, you can have most of them, the newer ones now go. Certainly all day.

[Ace Cosby]

You're the one that's probably on your phone the most, I think. Do you get a full battery charge a day?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I mean, I. You know, on a plane, you know, whatever. Watching a movie, reading a book. Get there. You got many, many hours of time.

[Josh Arnold]

Mine's about three fourths of a day because I still have a 10. And they've already pumped in the viruses to make. Which is proven. I don't want to hear that charge.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, the. There's a picture of this thing. Yeah. It does look just like a toaster, but. Yeah, I see how it works the case. You've ever seen those. Those things you carry around that are like an auxiliary battery? I forget what they're called. I've got a couple of them.

[Ace Cosby]

Auxiliary battery.

[Tom Griswold]

Those are some of their. Yeah. Zip something or whatever. So that's what these are, in effect. So you just. It's. Instead of just carrying around an auxiliary battery for it, so you can charge it on the run, you're doing this thing. I wonder if you can also make toast with it.

[Josh Arnold]

That'd be cool if it cleans your phone at the same time. Like, you got a phone. Soaps. Yeah, which I use all the time.

[Ace Cosby]

Sterilizer, coffin type thing.

[Josh Arnold]

You put your phone in and it sterilizes.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, really?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

That's cool.

[Tom Griswold]

And then it's made in China. It takes all your information, sends it to the Chinese. Do you know that, Josh?

[Josh Arnold]

I have no doubt, but I'm still using it.

[Tom Griswold]

You see, Nick, we should explain. Josh has kind of a thing about.

[Josh Arnold]

That, but communist China being bad. I do.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah. Call me a weirdo.

[Tom Griswold]

So, okay, this thing. Yeah, this is. It's. This is not gonna fly.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, apparently they think it is.

[Tom Griswold]

It's not.

[Ace Cosby]

They're gonna start selling them in June.

[Tom Griswold]

How many people really need to charge their phone in two seconds?

[Ace Cosby]

I don't know, Tom. We'll find out.

[Tom Griswold]

And you've got to have this giant toaster to haul around with you.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no, no. It stays at home.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, it would stay at home.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

If you're on the road.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Your battery runs out on the road, then this is.

[Josh Arnold]

No, I think this will sell. And I just think we're in the minority. We don't use our phones.

[Tom Griswold]

Like a lot of people each put $100 down.

[Christy Lee]

For what?

[Tom Griswold]

To invest in this.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no, no, I have no interest in that.

[Tom Griswold]

I understand. It's best used, by the way, while standing in a bathtub like a toaster. Now, don't you. Do you want to tell Nick about your hot dog toaster?

[Josh Arnold]

I have a hot dog toaster, Nick. It looks like a traditional toaster. And you can put in. What is it? Because I got you guys some too. Is it four hot dogs and two buns or six? I think it's four and two. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But the hot dog's going vertically, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Heats them up.

[Christy Lee]

And it does nice work.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, it.

[Christy Lee]

My daughter took hers to college.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, good. Yeah, yeah. That's where it's fun. That's that kind of thing. Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's weird looking.

[Josh Arnold]

It looks like a toaster. I think it actually looks kind of classy.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Because the holes, they're right, right?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. That's how hot dogs are shaped.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I mean, someone was. If someone wasn't. Didn't know what it was. What the hell's that?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, they would probably go, what is that? Yeah, there you go.

[Christy Lee]

They're gonna hump it.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, it looks nice now that I see it. It does look.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, wow.

[Nick Griffin]

Yeah, it looks fun.

[Pat Godwin]

That's not bad.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, the bun's going in.

[Nick Griffin]

Is that literally it?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I've got the four. Yeah, I've got the four dogger. That's a two dogger there. But that is literally it.

[Christy Lee]

And just for the record, the buns actually just don't fit in it very well. You have to smush them to get them to go in the toaster.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

And then they don't pop out really.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, it's not an ideal apply.

[Tom Griswold]

It does. It does lead you to one of the classic hack jokes of all time. Why are there only eight buns when there are ten hot dogs?

[Josh Arnold]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Which I think were. Is that still a thing?

[Josh Arnold]

I. That the numbers are different?

[Christy Lee]

Well, now the hot dog people, they got smart now. Only ate hot dogs in a lot.

[Tom Griswold]

Of the packages with the same price.

[Christy Lee]

Exactly, exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Are you guys. I'm old enough to remember when they came out with bun length dogs.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, sure.

[Christy Lee]

Changed the industry.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, we all. There's a big celebration hot dog history.

[Ace Cosby]

Why didn't they just get together and make the bun fit the dog to begin with?

[Tom Griswold]

Chinese. Chinese.

[Josh Arnold]

It's conspiracy. They Were behind it for sure. Did you ever try the dogs with the chili inside back in the day? Man. It's. I do.

[Nick Griffin]

And cheese. They used to.

[Josh Arnold]

Right, right. Like when they came out and like a hot pocket. They were very hot.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, those were.

[Tom Griswold]

Do they still make them?

[Josh Arnold]

I've not seen them.

[Nick Griffin]

I haven't seen them either.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a lot of manufactured stuffs.

[Tom Griswold]

Do they still make the. Not. They're not cheese slices. Do they still make the peanut butter and jelly? Slight pre done slices.

[Ace Cosby]

I don't. I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Wasn't that a thing for a while?

[Ace Cosby]

It was. Yeah. They came like Velveeta slices or.

[Josh Arnold]

I knew the peanut butter.

[Ace Cosby]

I didn't realize.

[Josh Arnold]

Is a jelly slice much. Much like a fruit roll up or something. Something.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Probably you can still get goober the mixed.

[Nick Griffin]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

The peanut butter and jelly. Yeah. Which I. You know. No, thanks.

[Tom Griswold]

How lazy are you really? Someone in Madison. How lazy are Americans?

[Pat Godwin]

I'm uncrustable lazy but not Google the.

[Ace Cosby]

PJ squares is what they were called. They were discontinued.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

But the uncrustables amazing.

[Ace Cosby]

Are rocking huge.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a fine pro product. My son.

[Ace Cosby]

That's changed my kids lived on that.

[Pat Godwin]

Changed my life at home.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

We just had a big story about uncross.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they're big in the NFL, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

In the locker rooms.

[Josh Arnold]

By the way, somebody kind listener wrote in and said hey, the. The. Here's what you do with an uncrustable. Don't. Don't thaw it for 30 minutes on the counter. Put it frozen right in your toaster and you get it. I'm telling you it is perfect.

[Pat Godwin]

Incredible.

[Ace Cosby]

Are you serious?

[Pat Godwin]

That's Jimmy's favorite.

[Tom Griswold]

Myself.

[Josh Arnold]

The inside is still cold.

[Pat Godwin]

It's great.

[Josh Arnold]

But the outside is nice and warm and crisp. It's fantastic.

[Tom Griswold]

I love off label use of things.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Not drugs, but off label use of uncrustables. That's what this show is all about. Right now I want to tell you about those Raycon earbuds. We're getting love letters about the Raycons. Raycon earbuds are about half the price of those white ones that keep falling off on the floor. Falling out of your ears. The Raycons have a multitude of gel tips. Very good. So you can get them to fit your ears.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And They've also got 32 hours of battery life which is amazing if you're getting on a plane or getting more than a day. Thank you. Except. Except. Except if you're except if you're in Canada where it's Celsius.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Dear Tom, you dumbass, they have multi point connectivity so you can get together with somebody else and both listen to the same thing. Maybe you're watching a movie on the plane. They have active noise cancellation which means I see your lips moving, honey, but I don't hear anything. You can listen to whatever you want to. It's all about you and having fun and enjoying what you like to enjoy. Thank you. Raycon. And Raycon has something going on today that's rather interesting. 15% off the normal prices site wide. That would include then the over the ear headphones, the earbuds, et cetera, et cetera. So see what I'm talking about? Visitors visit buyraycon.com Tom Once again, that's buyraycon.com Tom the perfect gym buddy. Your Raycon earbuds. That way you don't have to hear the guy in the treadmill next to you jogging and farting. It's happened. Just saying. Okay. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Coming up, comedian Jordan Jensen will be joining us along with Nick Griffin. Nick on his way to the a jukebox in Peoria and Haywood at Crackpots in Massillon, Ohio tonight. And Heywood at the Funny Farm in Youngstown. Coming up on Saturday, Castocki Economopoulos, Bowling Green tonight at the White Squirrel Brewery. That was White Squirrel, not white Squirrel. And in Evansville Tomorrow night at O'Brien Sports Bar, this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're here at the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy, Jeff, Ace, myself Josh Arnold. And there's Tom. And Tom. We're joined by some terrific guests this morning.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

In the interview loft, veteran stand up comedian Nick Griffin. Nice head of hair. Always thought Nick looks like a private detective. And then we have with her Cossack hat on, she is Jordan Jensen, comedian, dog owner.

[Ace Cosby]

What's a Cossack hat?

[Josh Arnold]

Those Russian sort of. Yeah, it's similar.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

Giant teddy bear.

[Josh Arnold]

It is a nice giant teddy bear.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Looking great. And what's the name of your dog?

[Jordan Jensen]

Coyote.

[Tom Griswold]

Coyote. But Coyote's a she coyote.

[Jordan Jensen]

She's a. She's a girl. Yeah, we're both boy girls.

[Tom Griswold]

That's so nice. Sometimes Coyote just barked at me. Yeah, I was trying to be nice.

[Jordan Jensen]

It's because she wanted you to. She had the ball and you weren't.

[Tom Griswold]

Throwing it and she's like, oh, yeah, yeah, I see. I thought she'd Smell the my dogs on my shoes and get a, get a kick out of it and wonder what's going on. We have not met before, Jordan, and it's nice to see you. I know that you're a friend of Nick's.

[Jordan Jensen]

Jordan, how's it going?

[Nick Griffin]

It's going really, really well. They've been grilling me since I got here.

[Tom Griswold]

We're talking about Nick's love life.

[Jordan Jensen]

I'm always very curious about it. He talks about it on stage a bit, and I'm always wondering.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's complicated.

[Jordan Jensen]

Is it?

[Nick Griffin]

Well, yeah, it's just constantly not succeeding.

[Tom Griswold]

To kind of steal one of Nick's jokes. His love life is kind of like sweatpants, if that makes sense. Yeah, it's, you know, you see someone in sweatpants and it shouts failure.

[Nick Griffin]

Not trying.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but you've only been married once, is that correct?

[Nick Griffin]

That's correct. And I'm trying to avoid being divorced twice. So, yeah, that's, I just, I can't stop thinking that I would get divorced if I got married a second time.

[Jordan Jensen]

Do you date comics?

[Nick Griffin]

Never dated a comic in my life. I don't think I've ever made out with a comic.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Josh Arnold]

Huh?

[Tom Griswold]

Now's your chance. Yeah, no, I'm talking about. No, I was talking about him and Oscar.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Not only.

[Christy Lee]

I think Nick is handsome.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that'd be a double first.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Go gay and go comedy stomach now. Are you a single lady?

[Jordan Jensen]

I'm single.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. How's that going?

[Jordan Jensen]

It's, it's great. It's, you know, the only problem being single as a woman is people just try and make you unsingle a lot, and they give you lots of advice and they give you, you know, they, they constantly are being like this. If you just did that. I'm getting a lot of infographics sent to me.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, really?

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, you know, like the Instagram ones that are like, you deserve a love that is steady. And I'm like, dude, I'm eating dry Nesquik with a spoon right now. This is, you know what I mean? A lot of that, Lot of advice. Do you get advice as a man about being single?

[Nick Griffin]

I, I, I don't get advice, but I do get critiqued. And I'm too cynical and that. You can't think that way. And I, I'm like, but that's how I think. What do. I can't change my thinking.

[Jordan Jensen]

Do you have high standards?

[Nick Griffin]

I've been working. High standards. They got to be, I mean, not in apartments, but yeah, I guess in relationships? Yeah, I think I have. I think I do. I don't know. I just like who I like.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you like a woman who's interested in the stuff you're interested in? Oh, sure.

[Nick Griffin]

That's a huge help.

[Tom Griswold]

No wonder you can't find one.

[Nick Griffin]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ace Cosby]

It's me.

[Tom Griswold]

No, not kidding. Nick is interested in horror films, and I do.

[Nick Griffin]

I love horror.

[Jordan Jensen]

Me too.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, maybe we've made a love connection here, ladies and gentlemen.

[Nick Griffin]

I still haven't seen it. Josh over there has seen it and really liked it.

[Jordan Jensen]

It's very good.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, they loved it.

[Josh Arnold]

Robert Eggers can do no wrong in my book.

[Jordan Jensen]

A lot of tits. Sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, have you seen. Have you seen Disclaimer?

[Jordan Jensen]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

On Apple tv? A lot of everything. Have you seen it yet? Christy?

[Ace Cosby]

Not yet. I'm a little busy right now.

[Tom Griswold]

I thought you were gonna go. You were gonna.

[Jordan Jensen]

I'm.

[Ace Cosby]

I'm playing. I'm playing this weekend. I'll get to that, I promise.

[Tom Griswold]

And I'm telling you, you. Your husband's gonna call me.

[Nick Griffin]

Who's in Disclaimer?

[Ace Cosby]

I have no idea. I know any. All I know, Tom must have gotten laid because that's all he's talked about since.

[Tom Griswold]

Rude way to discuss it. It's a. It's actually a kind of a very serious serialized movie. Really? On Apple tv? I think it is.

[Ace Cosby]

But it's Caitlin Shed. In that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And she's amazing in anything, but she's terrific. It's. But it's a very complicated story, but there is a lot of. Of put it this way, it makes the movie. The scenes in Body Heat look like.

[Nick Griffin]

Oh, yeah. Body Heat was hot.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Well, this. This way. This is. This. Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

A lot of sex.

[Jordan Jensen]

Well, Apple TV is like, subscribing to a porn site. I mean, how hard it is to get on there. You gotta unsubscribe after a certain amount of time or you'll get malware.

[Tom Griswold]

Jordan Jensen is our guest. So you are. You're a single G. Where are you from?

[Jordan Jensen]

It's a. Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Home of Cornell University, of course.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, that's a pretty place.

[Tom Griswold]

Cayuga Lake. Are your. Were your parents professors? College professors.

[Jordan Jensen]

No way. Poor carpenters. They did go to Cornell.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, good.

[Jordan Jensen]

Which is cool. But. No, then they. My mom and dad were contractors together. My mom became a lesbian, which is crazy that my dad didn't know she was gay because they were contractors together.

[Christy Lee]

The tool belt didn't tip them off.

[Jordan Jensen]

Dude, there's, like, pictures of her pregnant with a mullet and A tool belt on. How did you not know? It's so crazy. They looked identical. Like, it's crazy. He was like, I got the only. I got the only straight girl on the rugby team. Like, no way. Crazy.

[Tom Griswold]

That's fantastic. That is so interesting.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Has. Has your. Are your parents still with us?

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, the. I have. So I have three moms. Dead dad.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

So my mom married Michelle, Michelle left my mom, and then Michelle got with Donna. So we view them all as, like, three moms, because lesbians, even though they break up, they stay together because they don't have the male evil gene. And then they. And then they collaborated on raising the children.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, nice.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, it turns out if you remove a penis from the equation, you really get a lot of, like, harmony.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

My lesbian friends. It's nothing but drama.

[Jordan Jensen]

It is drama, but there's always love. There's no sacrifice of the child. There's no. Your mother's a. Oh, I see what you're saying. You know what I mean? There's nothing like that.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

It's just a tribe of witches.

[Tom Griswold]

Is your mother still a contractor?

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

So you have a coven of mothers.

[Jordan Jensen]

I do.

[Tom Griswold]

I do.

[Jordan Jensen]

I do.

[Ace Cosby]

Do you have siblings?

[Jordan Jensen]

I do. I have a sister. I have a sister who's a real estate agent, which is awesome. Awesome. So I just bought a house from my sister. Now my mom is remodeling it right now. I wanted my mom's guys to remodel it, but she has sent Ithaca. Yeah, well, it's outside of Ithaca. It's, like, in farmland. It's sick. It's tiny, little 1840 brick.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Jordan Jensen]

It's haunted, for sure.

[Tom Griswold]

At what point did the. The situation emerge about your mom? How old were you?

[Jordan Jensen]

I must have been about seven. And she hooked up with my dentist, who was a woman. And I walked in on it.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Jordan Jensen]

And I thought that they were. I thought the dentist was trying to kill my mom.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh.

[Jordan Jensen]

I was like, why is. Why is she stabbing my mom with that space weapon?

[Tom Griswold]

A wrong cavity lady.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, it was a. It was one of those rabbit ones. Remember those rabbit ones?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

Those were crazy effective.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

They're still out there.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

Those are nuts. They went crazy.

[Tom Griswold]

That. Was your father still alive at the time?

[Jordan Jensen]

He was, yeah. He was very upset about it. Yeah. I think he was happier. I think when she first left him, he got. She got with hotter men than him, and he was really upset. So I think when she got with women, he was like, yeah, that's what?

[Tom Griswold]

It was.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember I found a whole bunch of his porn hidden under the tub. And I was like, what's this, Daddy? And he goes, that's your mother's lesbian porn. I was like, what? There's men and women kissing on it.

[Josh Arnold]

Under the tub, dude.

[Ace Cosby]

Like, interesting.

[Jordan Jensen]

Because he was a carpenter, so he had all these secret places.

[Josh Arnold]

That's amazing.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, yeah. Lots of secret places.

[Ace Cosby]

I love secret places and houses.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I do. I love that. Yeah. Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

One time he made me hide. He made me. He like. He was like, go put. We're building a house. Go get a toy to hide in it. That'll be like, your treasure. And I got a little teddy bear, and he put it in the house in the middle of the night. I went into his room and I was like, dad, dad, we gotta go get him out of there. So we had. We had to go in the middle of the night, open up the wall and pull my teddy bear out because I was worried about him being alone.

[Ace Cosby]

Are you gonna put secret places in your new house?

[Jordan Jensen]

There's already secret, very haunted, scary places that I would like there to be less of. You know what I mean? There's all those weird crawl spaces on the sides that have goblins in them. Yeah. So I've made my mom install a bunch of lights in there so that I can turn it on and make sure they're not in there. But I think everywhere is haunted. I think my hotel room's haunted right now.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, really?

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, I could feel it. It's too big. That's what it is. I live in New York. I'm used to living in a shoe box. Like, this room is way too big for me. There's ghosts, you know?

[Tom Griswold]

And we're speaking to comedian Jordan Jensen, by the way. I'll reintroduce her. Also hanging out with Nick Griffin. Nick on his way to Peoria's famous jukebox. It is famous tonight and tomorrow. And, Nick, you haven't been in New York?

[Nick Griffin]

I've been on the road a ton.

[Jordan Jensen]

Nice. How is it? Are you dying?

[Nick Griffin]

Yes.

[Jordan Jensen]

I know, dude. It's so crazy. One flight ages me.

[Tom Griswold]

Four years.

[Jordan Jensen]

It's unbelievable. No matter how short it is, I.

[Nick Griffin]

Don'T even get upset anymore on flights. I just close my eyes and just shake my head.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you read a book? Listen to music? Anything?

[Nick Griffin]

Well, I try to take the first flight out and the first flight back. So I'm usually kind of half asleep or asleep deep. But, yeah, I'll sit there and fiddle with my jokes and stuff or because.

[Tom Griswold]

I. I recently went. I went to Las Vegas to see the Eagles at the Sphere.

[Nick Griffin]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

On the way back, a guy sat next to me, got on the plane. No book, no headphones, nothing.

[Ace Cosby]

It just freaks Tom out that people.

[Josh Arnold]

Can just say, it's called Raw Dugging.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Nick Griffin]

Yeah. It's putty.

[Tom Griswold]

He was.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah. He was famous for that.

[Tom Griswold]

I was like, wait a minute. What are you.

[Ace Cosby]

You can just be.

[Tom Griswold]

No, that's boring.

[Jordan Jensen]

I am surrounded in things on the airplane. I have, like, nicotine zins. I have a book. I have another book that I'll never touch. I have a movie going. I. Usually what ends up happening is I have all that shit or all that stuff. Sorry. And then I'm watching the TV of the person next to me. That's what I do. I watch an entire movie on somebody else's screen that you can't hear, that I can't hear. But for some reason, because they're watching it. It's more interesting me.

[Tom Griswold]

What is your policy on seat back? No, no, no, that.

[Josh Arnold]

That's funny, though. But that. That is a question that comes up.

[Jordan Jensen]

If we all go back. It's. We're all having a good time.

[Tom Griswold]

No, but I mean, we were having this discussion off the air about the front. I. I think there are certain things that. Well, I mentioned that movie disclaimer.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That I was watching, and it. There's like seven episodes. We'd watched five, and I was wondering, maybe I can watch the last two on the plane back from skiing. And then I realized, wait a minute, this is really graphic. If they'd have any flashbacks, there's going to be a bunch of nudity that really isn't. I don't know who's going to be.

[Ace Cosby]

Not appropriate.

[Tom Griswold]

Not appropriate. I was telling this to someone and they said, oh, well, so and so. Doesn't care. He'll watch whatever. That's not.

[Josh Arnold]

It's Chick McGee.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

He will watch whatever he wants on there. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That's not fair.

[Ace Cosby]

We were watching Life's Not Fair, Tom. I don't know if you know that.

[Josh Arnold]

Jess Hooker and I were sitting next to him on a plane. He was watching Wolf of Wall Street. Oh, my gosh, that is insane nudity. Like, in some scenes, there was a.

[Jordan Jensen]

Doctor on their laptop watching, like, surgeries.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that's.

[Jordan Jensen]

And I was just passing out. I was just fainting behind them. And they had no idea. The brightness down on your screen. I was dying.

[Josh Arnold]

Now, Tom, that guy that was sitting next to you on the flight back from Vegas who seemingly was just sitting there. There's a maybe. There may have been a lot. He. He may have been trying to come up with alibis. If you're on the flight from Vegas, maybe your brain might be.

[Tom Griswold]

And then he ended up. He ended up watching me do. I was doing whatever. Connections and archived wordles.

[Josh Arnold]

Was he talking to you while you were.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. What's that there? Oh, this is. This is called. This is called connections and it's a game. And pretty soon these two go together. Oh, geez.

[Josh Arnold]

An over the shoulder phone game guy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Boom.

[Ace Cosby]

You left that part out. I know how much you love that.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, made me just nervous. The guy just sitting there the whole time, staring straight ahead.

[Jordan Jensen]

Was he watching the flight tracker? That's what's really weird when you see him.

[Tom Griswold]

No, he was just staring at nothing. No book. I. Wow. Yeah. I mean, I can't deal with it.

[Nick Griffin]

Yeah, I couldn't do that. That either.

[Jordan Jensen]

I wonder if he's super smart or super dumb, you know?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nick Griffin]

Then he doesn't have to. He doesn't need any more information.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, no, in life he's working on quantum physics.

[Tom Griswold]

Didn't have any hand luggage coming back from Vegas. No coat.

[Josh Arnold]

You may have been a hitman.

[Jordan Jensen]

Kill you.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, could be. Could be. Let's get back to our guest. She is a Jordan Jensen, comedian. You are prior to being a stand up comedian. Anything interesting in your life?

[Jordan Jensen]

I used to be because my parents were. I was also. Also a contractor.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, good.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Handy with tools.

[Jordan Jensen]

Handy with tools. Not a lesbian. How do you like that?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Jordan Jensen]

And then I started my own business in New York where I figured out that I could steal 100% of the lumber from Lowe's because I was a woman. And I would steal all of the lumber and then I would build people things and I would keep the money. And I've since had to go back and apologize to Lowe's.

[Josh Arnold]

Did they accept your apology?

[Jordan Jensen]

Turns out if you steal from a big enough corporation, when you make amends to them, they do just accept it. Yeah, they go, that's. They go, okay, great. Please leave here now.

[Josh Arnold]

We're glad you feel better. This is kind of a bummer for us now.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, but I used to just like build. I mean, if you're a woman and you go into Home Depot, you can leave carrying like a full table saw and they're like the door for you, my lady. It's crazy. It's crazy.

[Tom Griswold]

What are you best at? What's the Best thing you can build.

[Jordan Jensen]

I built houses, but I, I just can't do, like, furniture and, you know, small mitering crap.

[Tom Griswold]

You want the. You build the big stuff. Good for you.

[Jordan Jensen]

I like mason work. Yeah. And building. My dog really wants that ball.

[Ace Cosby]

I know I'm gonna have to climb up and this week we can't have this.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, this dog's just been.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

My God.

[Jordan Jensen]

It's crazy.

[Josh Arnold]

This is a professional radio.

[Jordan Jensen]

It's very.

[Tom Griswold]

I've been starting to figure something just grabbed my ankle. It's like, gonna go, oh, it's the dog. All of a sudden, it's a petting zoo.

[Jordan Jensen]

There's a feral. There's a feral quality that I bring to every room.

[Tom Griswold]

We will. We'll get back to the action here in just a second. Christy Lee is climbing over the journey of Natty Gan table and grabbing the doggy's little, little ball. A couple quick things. Nick Griffin, as I mentioned, Peoria, the Jukebox tonight and tomorrow, Kostaki, the White Squirrel Brewery, Bowling Green, Kentucky. Tonight at the Nevinsville O'Brien Sports Bar. Saturday night, Heywood Banks, Massillon, Ohio. Tonight at Crackpots with a K. And then tomorrow, Heywood's in Youngstown at the Funny Farm. Those will be some great shows with some great comedians. Hope you get a chance to see all of them now. Also, I'll remind you, we've got our show on the road coming up just around the corner. It'll be a Friday, a Friday night in February at the Riverside Casino and Resort with Pat Godwin. One. Hi, Pat. Hey, Josh Arnold. Hey, Josh. Hi, Al Jackson. Hey, Tom. And Jeff Oskay.

[Christy Lee]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

They're very good. We'll be doing our morning show from the casino, a special room there at the Riverside Casino and Resort, courtesy of 100.7 the Fox and Cedar Rapids. Hope to see you there. Details are posted at Riverside Casino and resort dot com. It will be, I guarantee, a lot of fun. Right now, I want to say hello to my buddy, Steven Singer. Steven Singer, jeweler. Something interesting going on right now. Valentine's Day is just down the road. This gives you an opportunity to fail. You must do something here or you're going to be in trouble. Don't believe her or him when they go. I don't really want anything for Val. Nope, nope. That's the devil talking. You got to get him something. I recommend diamonds. Jewelry is always a big plus. Steven Singer's got real diamonds. He's got the best. Also, he has these roses, the brand New one is called the Peacock teal rose. Kind of like peacock colors, kind of a Caribbean feel to it. And when I say roses, I mean real long stemmed roses dipped in 24 karat gold. And of course, a lifetime guarantee like everything at Steven Singer Jewelers. Free shipping as always, always complimentary. Once again, It's I hate stephensinger.com. don't accept fakes. Get the real thing. Steven singer. I hate stevensinger dot com. That's I hate stevensinger dotcom. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Become a Bob and Tom VIP and get your Bob and Tom fix 24. 7. Get all the info in the VIP [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom show special guest in just a moment.

[Josh Arnold]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show, here live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Tom, we have some wonderful guests with us this morning and I believe we're gonna have another one on the phone.

[Tom Griswold]

That's correct. With us in the studio, comedian Jordan Jensen. She's right over there. And then comedian Nick Griffin, he's over there, as you can see. Jeff, Oscar, of course is here with us at the Silac Insurance news desk. It's Christy Lee, Pat Godwin. Hi, Pat.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

We got a full, we got a full house here. And let's see, this is Tom's. Oh, Ace Cosby took the beard off. I think it looks great. Sol's beard, Ace. But right now we are not joined by Chick Magee. He has been sick all week, hoping to feel better by Monday. But he has submitted his picks. They've been given to you, Josh, is that correct?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, sir.

[Tom Griswold]

And we are joined by contestant Rob Martin, who was our winner week 18 in NFL action. Rob, can you hear me okay? Yes, sir. Though it sounds like you're right here. You're in Colorado. Colorado Springs. Are you a skier? I used to be. Not anymore. What happened? A little problem with the knee.

[Josh Arnold]

Ah, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't let that stop you, Rob. My knee blows and I skied. Just skate for 10 days. Well, Rob, congratulations. You won week 18. Week 18 with your, your picks. So you get to pick against Chick. Now Chick couldn't be here, so Josh is in his place. But he. These are the picks that Chick made and submitted via text. What have you got over there, Josh?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I've got chicks picks. Rob, do you have a particular team that you're a fan of?

[Christy Lee]

Of?

[Tom Griswold]

I am a fan of the Cowboys.

[Josh Arnold]

Ah, well, we don't have to worry About?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, no. And you know why they're called America's Team, right? Because they'll be home watching the super bowl with the rest of America. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's rough. And as you know, Chick is a huge Washington football club fan. Despises the Cowboys.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, but.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, I know.

[Josh Arnold]

Actually. Yes. Chick is actually taking Washington. They're getting plus three at Tampa Bay. And of course, Chick is picking his team. Rob, what do you say to that game?

[Tom Griswold]

That game? I'd be going with Chick on that one.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I like. I like the Washington team this year. They're good, young team.

[Josh Arnold]

Christie, your husband is a big Green Bay fan.

[Ace Cosby]

Go back.

[Tom Griswold]

Go.

[Josh Arnold]

Now the Eagles -4 versus Green Bay. Chicks going with Philadelphia.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Rob, you're.

[Tom Griswold]

Yep, I'm with. I'm with Chick on this one. Gotta go with the Eagles.

[Josh Arnold]

Why don't you two just get married?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Chargers minus three at Houston. Chick like San Diego.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I like the Texans in this one.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, okay. What are you saying here, Jason?

[Ace Cosby]

What's the spread on that?

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know. I'm actually guessing at these because all I have are the game lineups. The picks aren't even on here. The Ravens are minus 10 versus Pittsburgh. Yeah. It's for the hell of it. Chickpeak, Spittsburgh. There you go. What do you say, Rob?

[Tom Griswold]

I'm gonna go with the Ravens.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. All right. All right. Denver getting 10 versus Buffalo. Oddly enough, Chick picks the Arizona. Well, then I'll pick the Cowboys in that. Oh, yes. All right, fair enough. You know what? I like Buffalo. I'm actually going to pick Buffalo there.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, Buffalo's who I'd go with.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. And Minnesota. The Vikings getting. Oh, they. This is what Chick likes to say, minus a point and the hook. Tom, that's very nice point. Versus the Rams. What do you say there, Rob?

[Tom Griswold]

I would. I think the Vikings are the better team. The Rams have a lot in their mind, I would think, right now.

[Josh Arnold]

All right. Okay, cool. Well, wow. That's all pretty interesting. Rob, are you at work? Are you at home?

[Tom Griswold]

I'm at home getting ready for work.

[Josh Arnold]

Getting ready for work. What do you do?

[Tom Griswold]

I'm a senior buyer at a medical device manufacturing company.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, so you actually do the buying. Ah, so you buy. What have you bought recently?

[Tom Griswold]

Some kind of like. Like rectal thermometers. I don't know what.

[Josh Arnold]

Mri.

[Tom Griswold]

Nothing quite like that. Just all the parts to build the products that we. That we make for our customers. This is what they call serious business.

[Josh Arnold]

We have no business.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, yes. He has HR people, and he has to behave and be a real human being. Unlike what we do.

[Ace Cosby]

Correct.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you have a dog, Rob? I do not. Oh. Because our guest, one of our guests has a dog in the studio with us. She is Jordan. Do you have a cat? We used to. She passed not too long ago. Wow, this is really going well. How are your parents doing? Are they still with us? Hey, Tom, can I ask you a question? Of course. Hey, do you know what the socks said to the pants? Wait a minute. What did the socks say to the pants? I don't know. What's up, britches?

[Josh Arnold]

Rob's joke of the day, brought to you by sleep number.

[Ace Cosby]

Ac. Stealing your thunder.

[Josh Arnold]

Dude should have said underwear.

[Tom Griswold]

You know? You see, the joke there is. Never mind. Rob, thanks and congratulations. And you won yourself that $500 gift certificate from Steven Singer Jewelers. I hope you have something you can buy some nice jewelry for. Perhaps it's yourself. I don't know. I don't want to take any more chances here. No, it's going to be for my lovely wife, Donna. Okay, good. And she's still alive, thank God. Oh, you'd be amazed the mistakes I've made on the air, asking people stuff.

[Jordan Jensen]

Personal questions in the audience, the front row, the audience. The amount of times that I've been like, you guys are a beautiful couple. And they're like, this is my sister. I mean, I have pushed stuff. I have. I've. I've harassed people until finally they were like, it was a suicide. It ruined my life. And I'm like, great, we're happy you showed up to the show.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I. I really can't tell the whole story, but it does involve blindness and ice picks. Yeah. Yeah. I should never have asked. Rob, what a great pleasure speaking to you, sir. And congratulations.

[Josh Arnold]

And you as well.

[Tom Griswold]

And please get your knee fixed and go skiing again, for God's sake, here in Colorado. Thank you very much.

[Josh Arnold]

Thanks, Rob.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you, Rob.

[Josh Arnold]

Good man.

[Tom Griswold]

It went well. Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Circle your picks there, Josh. So we remember on Monday.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no, no.

[Tom Griswold]

Chick is over 500 against the spread, by the way, this season, so. And he'll post his real pics on his various social media platforms. You're welcome. Thank you. We have to go over to the news desk. We've got Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance News. What have we missed?

[Ace Cosby]

Police are calling the couple behind the heist Mr. Clean or Ms. Dookie. That's because they're looking for a man and woman in connection with a burglary at a Family Dollar store in Mulberry, Florida. The sheriff's office there says the man walked around the store gathering nearly $500 worth of cleaning items while the woman distracted employees by relieving herself by defecating on the floor.

[Josh Arnold]

That's not a bad misdirection.

[Ace Cosby]

And they fled in a white van.

[Josh Arnold]

That'll certainly.

[Nick Griffin]

I've got it.

[Ace Cosby]

An employee had to clean up the mess that the woman left behind. Sheriff's officials released images of the two suspects. Suspects. And asked if you recognize Mr. Clean or Ms. Dookie. Interesting information.

[Josh Arnold]

She's the dumper.

[Ace Cosby]

I know, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, They've got pretty good photographs.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, do they?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. That is. That is so rough. But I mean, Family Dollar, what do you expect? I mean, this isn't gonna happen at Nordstrom's.

[Ace Cosby]

You don't know that.

[Tom Griswold]

That you are such an elitist.

[Josh Arnold]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

You're just figuring this out?

[Josh Arnold]

That's what you took away from. Well, what are you expecting? Family Dollar.

[Tom Griswold]

But if I go into nursing. Woman taking a crap in the shoe department, I'm getting. I'm quitting the Norty Club.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, my gosh.

[Josh Arnold]

You would yell at her, hey, go back to Family Dollar.

[Tom Griswold]

This is not Nordstrom's behavior. They have a. They have a toilet here. What's wrong with you, Madam Ironic. The guy's stealing cleaning supplies.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

What a weird thing to steal.

[Ace Cosby]

But Josh is right. That is quite the. That's going to take your attention away from anything else.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah, but I. And I like that she went, hey, I got this, though.

[Christy Lee]

If I'm an employee at Family Dollar, and they're like, hey, you are. You now have to go clean that up. I'd be like, I am now an employee of the Dollar Tree. I'm not cleaning that up for what you're paying me.

[Josh Arnold]

A family dollar.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, is this. I'm not really familiar with these stories. Is that a higher level of.

[Ace Cosby]

I think they're pretty.

[Christy Lee]

It's about even.

[Josh Arnold]

Five below is just above.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

So they totally pee on the floor there, huh?

[Josh Arnold]

Absolutely.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, okay, Good to know. Thank you very much. We're gonna find out more about our guests in just a few minutes. I will point out the following Haywood Banks crackpots coming up tonight. And then the funny farm in Youngstown, Ohio, on Saturday. Crackpots is in Massillon, Ohio. And Heywood's gonna be our in studio guest in a couple of weeks. He's got a gig coming up right around here that'll be very interesting. And then I'll point out that Kostaki is at the White Squirrel Brewery in Bowling Green, Kentucky, tonight for some great stuff. And he's in Evansville Saturday night at O'Brien's Sports Bar. And Mr. Nick Griffin, very handsome man, single, looking for love. And he will be in Peoria at the Jukebox. Wouldn't it be great if Nick hooked up with somebody?

[Christy Lee]

Well, sure.

[Josh Arnold]

I always like when my buddies look up.

[Tom Griswold]

Six months from now, he calls up and you're not gonna believe this.

[Josh Arnold]

You think you're doing good, Wingman.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. This is classic.

[Josh Arnold]

And Jordan Jensen will be at Helium.

[Jordan Jensen]

In Indianapolis, Also single man. Do you hook up at shows ever?

[Nick Griffin]

Probably. God, since the 90s, 90s or something.

[Jordan Jensen]

It's too much. I'm sleepy.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Nick Griffin]

I want to go home.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. You've never hooked up with a guy after a show?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll find out. We'll find out. Once again, we're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Catch any part of the show you missed later today on our YouTube channel for some comedy tonight and tomorrow.

[Josh Arnold]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show here at the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. Isn't that right, Jeff? Oscar.

[Ace Cosby]

Wow.

[Christy Lee]

Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast. From the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts.

[Josh Arnold]

There's Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance Company news desk. Ace Cosby's across the way. Hey, Pat Godwin in the music room. Hello, I'm Josh Arnold at the I Hate stevensinger.com sidekick chair. And Tom, please introduce our wonderful guest this morning.

[Tom Griswold]

I'd rather not.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, let's just move forward.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, I will. Okay. Comedian Nick Griffin, a good friend of the show, one of the funniest guys we've ever had on the show. He's so good. And he's going to be live and in person in. In Peoria tonight at the jukebox and tomorrow night. So maybe take your as. As. As Jeff would say, take your layers, lady.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. And you know how I'm always saying.

[Tom Griswold]

That he always refers to his girlfriend as his lady? Oh, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Well, it just feels weird being 50 and saying my girlfriend, she's my lady.

[Tom Griswold]

But there's no. There's. At least in American English, there isn't a good word.

[Ace Cosby]

What do you say?

[Tom Griswold]

I love saying my girlfriend.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I think girlfriend is completely acceptable.

[Tom Griswold]

Hotter and cooler.

[Josh Arnold]

Why, 50 years older people would be offended by that.

[Tom Griswold]

Sounds younger.

[Ace Cosby]

Know, in your case.

[Tom Griswold]

But I was just so sorry. I wonder if she calls me her boyfriend.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, that's not what she calls.

[Jordan Jensen]

How do we feel about partner?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't like it. I don't like partner. It sounds too business like.

[Jordan Jensen]

Well, it reminds me of the lesbian.

[Josh Arnold]

You're in the business of love to.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but. No, but it's. I understand what you're coming through. You're trying to sell it that way, ace. But no, no. Well, my partner and I. I think.

[Ace Cosby]

If it says if you say partner, you're insinuating that it's a gay relationship. Right.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it started that way. Right, Right.

[Ace Cosby]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Now, comedian Jordan Jensen, you have three moms, essentially.

[Jordan Jensen]

Three moms.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

Not all in a partnership.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. Right, right.

[Tom Griswold]

And once again, you're.

[Jordan Jensen]

You're a blood pack.

[Tom Griswold]

Your mother. Your mother is a gay woman. And she is. Is she.

[Jordan Jensen]

She's single with two dogs. She's John with wick.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, so she's not married to any other ladies.

[Jordan Jensen]

No, no, she's done. She. She threw in the towel.

[Pat Godwin]

She had.

[Jordan Jensen]

She had so many women throughout her life. She's. She's sick of them. Now she just listens to YouTube.

[Tom Griswold]

We had an interesting story. Two women. I forget where it was. They. They're. They've gone viral for putting magnets in their hands.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. So they can always be connected.

[Tom Griswold]

So they. Quite literally, it's. This is like. What do you call it? The body modification.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes, exactly what you call it.

[Tom Griswold]

So they've each got, as I understand that, a magnet. I can't figure out if it's in the palm of their hand or the back of their.

[Ace Cosby]

Probably the back.

[Christy Lee]

So if they break up, do they have to turn the magnets around so they won't.

[Tom Griswold]

They'll repel. Yeah. Good question. Yeah.

[Nick Griffin]

And that was sitting there for the.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Nick Griffin]

Yeah. I just. I completely missed it. I'm turning in my card.

[Tom Griswold]

One of my. I. One of my favorite magnet stories. Not that I have a lot of them, but Chick McGee was not here. Remember the magnet story?

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, the degaussing story.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. This really cool magnet his dad brought home. Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

If you worked in. I'm way back in the TV business, when I worked in the television studio, they had these big degaussing magnets, and degaussing would.

[Tom Griswold]

You went up to the tv, you'd move stuff around.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, but it.

[Tom Griswold]

But it would permanently ruin the television show.

[Josh Arnold]

One of the perks of not having Chick here is we don't have to listen to his story.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, sorry. But I'm just wondering if these women took their magnets and went up to the television set, would it.

[Josh Arnold]

Exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

Couldn't that like, undo their.

[Ace Cosby]

They're not strong enough. There's.

[Tom Griswold]

Wouldn't it undo them. But would it be strong enough to undo their credit cards and stuff or their phone?

[Josh Arnold]

Could it mess up? I. It must not.

[Ace Cosby]

I wouldn't think so.

[Tom Griswold]

You think this. I don't think this is going to take off as a thing.

[Jordan Jensen]

There's some joke in here about chick magnet.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, there is.

[Jordan Jensen]

Just want to throw that in.

[Nick Griffin]

You guys do the math.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Thank you very much. What else do we need to know about Jordan Jensen, single lady, mother of a beautiful little doggy who's running around our studios.

[Jordan Jensen]

Y.

[Tom Griswold]

The little doggy's having a really good time.

[Jordan Jensen]

My poop somewhere.

[Josh Arnold]

That's all right. We. One of us usually does every dollar store.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you. Do you mind if I ask, are you dating? Is that a fair question?

[Jordan Jensen]

I'm. I'm not dating at the moment. I've been in like a on and off again relationship for like three years, which is really good for my health and sleep and rest and longevity in general. Oh, yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Nothing like walking on eggshells.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, no, I. I'm. I'm kind of done with dating. I tried the dating apps. It's a nightmare. You go there most of the time. It's somebody who's looks really good on screen but then is neurodivergent. The word I want to say is autistic, but I won't say it because we're on air and.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, thank goodness.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, and. And also I have to be. I have to date men that are more masculine than me because I'm so masculine, which they end up being. Republican or the meanest people you've ever met in your life or the dumbest people you've ever met in your life. And there's none. There's no masculine men in New York. It's all little NPR tech boys.

[Christy Lee]

No offense.

[Jordan Jensen]

No offense.

[Nick Griffin]

Sits here with his legs crossed.

[Jordan Jensen]

You consider yourself masc my hair right now? Yeah, totally. Really?

[Tom Griswold]

You think so?

[Jordan Jensen]

I have.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you have really long, beautiful hair.

[Jordan Jensen]

I have long, beautiful hair. Yeah, but. Yeah, but I'm very masculine. I love trucks. That's fine construction.

[Tom Griswold]

But I wouldn't refer to you. You certainly aren't butch looking. Is. Is your mom. Does she. Does she. Does she.

[Jordan Jensen]

She's Rambo. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

She affects the butch look.

[Jordan Jensen]

She literally wears a bandana like this direction around her head. Not behind the hair.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I see.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Do people sometimes think that you're gay?

[Jordan Jensen]

Every single person I've Men that I'm currently having sex.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

Will look up at me while we are having sex and say, are you gay? And I'm like, are you gay? Because you're the one having sex with a man.

[Tom Griswold]

This got very complicated and. Yeah. Okay, good, good. Now we need to check in with Christy Lee. She's right over there. You can see her. She's at the Silic Insurance news desk. Have we missed anything?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, we missed the story out of Missouri where they rescued an escaped monkey wearing a pink tutu recently. The Jefferson County Sheriff's Office said the unusually attired primate managed to open a door and escape from its home near the town of Otto. Are you familiar with Otto, Missouri?

[Josh Arnold]

No, but I'm very familiar with Jefferson County.

[Ace Cosby]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

I lived right on the border of St. Louis county and Jefferson.

[Ace Cosby]

The spider monkeys rock fights across. The spider monkey was spotted at a highway intersection where responding deputies surrounded the errant animal. Sheriff's officials said after careful negotiations and some coaxing, they were able to get close enough to go hands on with the subject and bring the bananas. Situation under control.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, having a little fun there?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, they are.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. Here's a picture.

[Ace Cosby]

Spider Man. Monkeys are so cute.

[Nick Griffin]

I've heard the word spider monkey for years. What does the spider monkey look like?

[Ace Cosby]

I'll show you a picture.

[Tom Griswold]

This thing is about the size of a cat. House cat, kind of.

[Jordan Jensen]

I think it's the Ace Ventura one.

[Josh Arnold]

They're similar, all right. Or it is.

[Nick Griffin]

It's been so long since I saw this venture. I don't. I can't. I don't know what that looks.

[Tom Griswold]

This little guy.

[Nick Griffin]

Thin.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yes.

[Ace Cosby]

There you go.

[Nick Griffin]

Oh, there. That's a spider monk. Oh, I see. Oh, it's a little. Yeah, I see that.

[Tom Griswold]

She's got a little two tone. I think the tutu probably is to cover the diaper. I'm guessing no, probably. That's much more attractive than a diaper.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, of course. Oh, it's so cute. Look at that little girl.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you imagine if your dog brought.

[Ace Cosby]

Him a spider monkey?

[Tom Griswold]

Encountered a spider monkey, it would flip out.

[Ace Cosby]

Did you see while we were on vacation, I think it was in California or something. Maybe Oakland. They pulled over a guy for a dui. He was in a Rolls Royce and he had a monkey, A spider monkey baby in his pocket. Pocket of his coat.

[Josh Arnold]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

This sounds like the beginning of a really bad movie.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Rolls Royce Spider Monkey in his pocket. Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

I saw a guy in Texas with a pet monkey, and it was like, sitting with them at the dinner table, and I was like, young enough that I walked up to him and I was like, what? Why do you have a monkey here? It was a Texas, and the monkey had a little diaper on and was playing with, like, forks. And he goes, the monkey tells the police, if I'm having a seizure.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow.

[Jordan Jensen]

And I was like, what does it say to the police?

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, officer, if you wouldn't mind.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, my owner's having a seizure and I would like some fruit. But then I realized that, like, if the cop picks up the phone and hears a monkey, it's probably like, oh, that's Richard, the guy who has seizures. Because there's a monkey on the line.

[Ace Cosby]

That is interesting. Do they run over and pull his arm and like.

[Jordan Jensen]

I don't know. I think it was. Was the same way how I say coyote is a service animal. You know what I mean?

[Josh Arnold]

Your dog?

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, I just want to have a monkey.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, there are seizure sensing dogs. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But probably real. Maybe he has little cards or something.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

That's interesting. We had. We had a helper monkey in here one day.

[Ace Cosby]

A capuchin. It was a capuchin.

[Tom Griswold]

We've been being trained for what, three years?

[Ace Cosby]

Yes, it was a service monkey. And it did help, you know, retrieve things from cabins, cabinets, and.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Nick Griffin]

Wow.

[Christy Lee]

How great would that be at the supermarket if they. To the high reach and stuff, you just called out the monkey, and it runs down the aisle, climbs up there and grabs your rice and beans. Wouldn't you rather.

[Tom Griswold]

Wouldn't you rather have that than a robot?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

All day long.

[Ace Cosby]

Absolutely.

[Tom Griswold]

Go to the grocery store, you have little monkey. I was a kid.

[Ace Cosby]

I look like a monkey at the grocery as I climb up the shelves to try to reach.

[Christy Lee]

See, you could you just call the service monkey, but.

[Ace Cosby]

Exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

You could go around the grocery store, a little monkey on your shoulder, and go, I want the Grape Nuts. And flies up.

[Ace Cosby]

I would love that.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, notice that all the healthy stuff is either way up or way down. Of course, they don't want you to get it. I see. Oh, so now, coming up, what have you got over there, Christy?

[Ace Cosby]

Well, speaking of monkeys, we have bananas in the news. We have an interesting story about college students and phone calls.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I didn't know that. There's a whole thing about not using the phone from people of a certain age now. It's like a thing.

[Josh Arnold]

Makes sense.

[Christy Lee]

That's My kids.

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't, I was not aware of this. Yeah, well, we'll find out. We'll find out all about it. Also, Pat, we got to get a song out of you.

[Pat Godwin]

Whatever you need.

[Tom Griswold]

What do you got?

[Pat Godwin]

I could do a song for Jordan.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe you can.

[Ace Cosby]

Sure.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, cool.

[Tom Griswold]

Wonderful. Jordan Jensen, our guest, will look forward to that. Certainly. Right now I want to remind you once again about the high quality of the Raycon earbuds. The Raycon earbuds cost about half as much, much as those little white ones that keep falling out of your ears. They've got gel tips that are adjustable. So there's an array of gel tips. You get the ones that fit your ears. And those Raycon earbuds aren't going to fall out. The new ones, 32 hours of battery life and we get love letters from folks that checked out the Raycon earbuds and bottom because they're so great. You go to buyraycon.com tom to get 15% off site wide. That's right. All day today, 15% off. That includes the over the ear headphones as well. So check out the earbuds with active noise cancellation and also something called multi point connectivity so that a couple of you could be in the plane both listening to the same movie while you're watching it with your earbuds on. Once again, Raycon's everyday earbuds available in a variety of colors. I forgot to mention that earlier. Then that would include blush violet.

[Ace Cosby]

The forest green is right there in front of Jordan.

[Tom Griswold]

There we go. Forest green, blue, et cetera, et cetera. Or get the good old fashioned ones in white like I have Raycon earbuds. Once again, it's byraycon.com Tom. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Heck of a morning so far, Tom. Great guests, a lot of fun.

[Tom Griswold]

Now for some schooling.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Gonna learn us something.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, in a way, yeah. We have two professional comedians in the studio here. Actually more than that technically, but guest comedians that are pros. Nick Griffin just on the Tonight show not too long ago.

[Nick Griffin]

Yeah, a couple months ago.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And then we have a Jordan Jensen. She is a very fine comedian and yet I always say the same thing. At the peak of his career, Tiger Wolf still occasionally had a swing coach needed, needed some, you know, needed some help. And we have for you right now a little lesson in how to do comedy from our Own ace Cosby. Here he is with his joke of the day, Jordan.

[Josh Arnold]

A little bit about myself. One thing I can't deal with is a deck of cards together. No, you certainly can't deal with that.

[Ace Cosby]

I had to think about that. It's brought to you by sleep number. That's right. The joke of the day by sleep number. Choose your ideal comfort on either side with the sleep number bed. The lowest price of the season. Right now in the top selling i8 smart bed can be found plus special financing. It's the best savings time and it's a limited time only offer. See your sleep number store or check out sleep number.com.

[Josh Arnold]

That was inspired by Josh because he sits there and plays with those cards you gave us.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes, he does.

[Tom Griswold]

I gave everyone decks of cards with my face and our faces and your face too. Is each individual pack? That's right. Very special.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, very special.

[Tom Griswold]

Have you had any good luck playing solitaire with those?

[Josh Arnold]

There's. I haven't played solitaire, but I just like to.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, because all you like playing with yourself. Sure. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

But usually it's with my penis to ejaculation.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that what you wanted?

[Pat Godwin]

That's what he wanted.

[Ace Cosby]

Exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

Now I know that Jordan has to. Jordan has to split, I believe very soon. Pat? Yeah. You told me you're working on a song about our guest, the lovely Jordan Jensen.

[Pat Godwin]

I want to do something just right for her. I'm a fan. Her clips have been popping up on the Internet and when she came in today, I said, oh, that's that person I love. She's so terrific. But I want to do something that's tailored to her though. I can imitate anybody. It's a useless talent.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Apparently I have no style of my own. Jordan, but who's your favorite singing person? Singing?

[Jordan Jensen]

I don't think I can say I have a favorite. I have been listening to a lot of Elton John recently. Just got into it.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay, here we go.

[Pat Godwin]

I'll do some Elton John for you. I got some.

[Ace Cosby]

Here we go.

[Pat Godwin]

Jordan wears a hat like the kgb. She calls a dog coyote or cuz she likes the name. He's pooping in the studio right now. And Jordan, Jordan's real funny. She's my new favorite. I didn't know it was her when she came.

[Ace Cosby]

All right.

[Jordan Jensen]

All right, guys. Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

Your morning favorite, all true facts. Yeah, except I hope the dog isn't pooping.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, she was. She was sniffing around. I was getting a little worried.

[Jordan Jensen]

We'll see. I got to take her out.

[Tom Griswold]

Has Anyone figured out why they circle before they go? No.

[Ace Cosby]

And boy, with the snow. Check local listings. It's really confusing for them. Have you noticed that?

[Jordan Jensen]

It's hilarious.

[Ace Cosby]

They don't know where to go.

[Tom Griswold]

And I carry, I carry around the bags and then you've got a dig. And so when you dig, get the poop, you also get a big handful of snow and you've got kind of the snowball. Snowball, ultimate weapon.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, yeah. Coyote sinks into the snow up to her butthole and then poops like it's on some sort of conveyor belt.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, you have to shovel a patch of snow on your yard so the dog can go, which is like this is. And then they still don't use it. They still try. Like you're saying. Yeah, a little. Butts are still sticking up in the air.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, Jordan, thanks for coming in. It was great seeing you.

[Jordan Jensen]

Thanks for having me.

[Nick Griffin]

Hi Jordan, thanks for bringing your doggy.

[Tom Griswold]

And we'll move forward here. We do have Christy Lee as you can hear and see, and she is at the SILAC insurance news desk. What's happening?

[Ace Cosby]

A school in the UK is trying to help students get over their fear of making phone calls. According to the BBC, Nottingham College is running coaching sessions that help those suffering from so called telephobia. During the sessions, students practice etiquette and build confidence by role playing interviews. Attendees are also encouraged to call restaurants about their operating hours as well as stores to see if certain items are in stock. A recent survey of 2,000 people found nearly 70% of people aged 18 to 34 refer a text to a phone call call, with 23% of the same age group saying they never pick up calls.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, man.

[Josh Arnold]

Duh.

[Tom Griswold]

I, I don't get it.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, 16 year old student Donna told the BBC she was mostly anxious when the phone rang because it's normalized for our generation to be used to text messages. She's talking about her generation. So if the phone rings she immediately thinks it's an emergency. And I could see that they trained themselves.

[Josh Arnold]

Right, Right.

[Tom Griswold]

So the class is trained trying to get them to stop being afraid of the phone.

[Ace Cosby]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Do they do a thing about being afraid of the dentist?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that'd be helpful.

[Tom Griswold]

It isn't the uk, you see.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh boy.

[Tom Griswold]

I, I can't let any of these stories go by about at least.

[Christy Lee]

No. I have a child who had a job and, or, and they, they got sick and they're like, what do I do? And I go, oh well, you just gotta call into work. And they go, what do you. How do I do that? And I go, you call, you call. They go, like, call, call? And I go, yeah, just call your boss and tell them you're sick.

[Ace Cosby]

Right?

[Christy Lee]

They're like, I can't text them. And I go, well, they didn't have their number. I was like, no, just call the police two hours before they felt comfortable to work up the nerve to call and speak with someone else.

[Josh Arnold]

Now, a lot of offices, it's a hotline, really. You call a number and you just say, hey, I'm not. This is Josh Arnold. Not coming in today. And then the person, when they get to work, goes through.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, that'd be great.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

So you don't have to.

[Ace Cosby]

You don't have to.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. So that's. There's no reason to have this course. No, these. These people will never all of a sudden start calling each other. They're already raised and trained.

[Christy Lee]

There was a new story I don't think we covered a couple weeks ago about how these new people interviewing over zoom don't want to be sitting.

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they're doing zoom interviews and they won't turn on their camera. Like, 25% of the people refuse to turn on their cameras for a zoom interview.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, you're not hired.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, no, that's exactly what I want.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Here. Interview over.

[Josh Arnold]

Right, Next. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

These are job interviews.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Are they saying they don't want it because they don't want to be judged by the way they look?

[Josh Arnold]

That. That.

[Christy Lee]

I didn't get that far into it. They just said they were uncomfortable doing a. They would zoom, but not on camera.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they're probably using some kind of excuse involving being discriminated against, you know, because they're a booger eating. Oh, sorry. Interesting take.

[Ace Cosby]

You think you could hold the booger eating during an interview?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't.

[Ace Cosby]

Just wait.

[Josh Arnold]

Nick Griffin, when was the last time you had a job interview?

[Nick Griffin]

Oh, God, I'm so sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you ever have a job?

[Nick Griffin]

Yeah, when I lived in New York. Well, you know what my last job was? My last job was being a maid in la.

[Josh Arnold]

No kidding?

[Nick Griffin]

Yeah, it was called Made to Order. And you went to a home office in the morning and they gave you work orders, and you would go to the various apartments. Sometimes there was a key under the mat, sometimes they were there, there. And you would clean their house and.

[Christy Lee]

You would wear, like, the maid outfit?

[Nick Griffin]

Yes, I would wear the maid outfit.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, lovely.

[Nick Griffin]

Complete cover for prostitution. That's what I was trying to get at.

[Tom Griswold]

Right. Are you a Good cleaner.

[Nick Griffin]

I'm much better. I grew up with six brothers and sisters and I just. My parents weren't. You know, how do you control. How do you get six kids to clean their eyes? So I wasn't until I became a maid that I was a good. Now I'm not. Now my apartment is spotless.

[Josh Arnold]

That's not a bad gig. You go and you're solitary. Yeah, yeah.

[Nick Griffin]

I remember there was this one house though that. And I did it more than once where there was a little boy, he's probably like 5, and his mom would let him walk around with me as I'm doing the. And he'd go, no, you missed that. No, you missed that. Mommy missed that. That.

[Josh Arnold]

Did you like it or hate it?

[Nick Griffin]

I hated it.

[Josh Arnold]

That's incredible.

[Tom Griswold]

Sounds like a good premise for a movie.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

A guy going to clean strangers houses. God, that's fun. That's cool.

[Ace Cosby]

I hate being there when someone's cleaning my house. I hate that.

[Nick Griffin]

Yeah, I. I can see that.

[Ace Cosby]

It's awkward. I don't feel either.

[Tom Griswold]

What do they find stuff and.

[Ace Cosby]

No, but it's just. I feel like I'm in her way and it's just awkward and I mean. And she's like a family member. I've.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh yeah, yeah. Apparently you do everything to avoid her.

[Tom Griswold]

It's not.

[Ace Cosby]

I'm avoiding her. I've been to her daughter's wedding. I love her, but it's just. I feel like I'm in her way and I don't want her going home going.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you feel obligated to entertain her and engage her in conversation, make it.

[Nick Griffin]

Easier on her and all that?

[Ace Cosby]

Yes. I feel like I should be cleaning my own house.

[Christy Lee]

Oh my. My dad one time hired a maid for my mother to. To help her out.

[Jordan Jensen]

Right.

[Christy Lee]

But my mom cleaned for 24 hours straight before the woman came because she didn't want her.

[Ace Cosby]

I do that.

[Christy Lee]

How badly we lived, I guess. And so there was no point of hiring. Hiring the maid.

[Josh Arnold]

Ridiculous.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it worked though. The end result was the same.

[Nick Griffin]

House was clean, the job got done.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

But you clean too.

[Ace Cosby]

I tend to pick up everything. Yes. And then we. My husband now starts the sheets before she gets there. And so we help her out a lot. But I still feel like now when you.

[Tom Griswold]

Just to clarify, your husband, what starts the sheets in the washing machine?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

It doesn't. Doesn't soil them. To give her something to do.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, honey, start those sheets.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, I left a fresh one in there for you.

[Christy Lee]

Get to work.

[Josh Arnold]

He's just a Monster.

[Tom Griswold]

See that Stainless. Looks like mainland China, doesn't it? I'm pretty proud of it.

[Ace Cosby]

It's the farthest from the truth at my house, you know that.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, so sorry. What else you've got over there?

[Ace Cosby]

This guy calls himself the world's most famous sperm donor and he says he plans to father 100 children by the end of this year. Mr. Kyle Gordy, who also refers to himself as quote, quote, CEO of Sperm Donating, offers both remote and in person or something.

[Nick Griffin]

Yeah, I mean it does. Has no ring to it.

[Ace Cosby]

No, no, we didn't say it was creative. Remote and in person insemination is available for women looking to conceive.

[Tom Griswold]

Now wait a minute.

[Ace Cosby]

All for free?

[Tom Griswold]

Does in person insemination mean actual intimacy? I doubt it.

[Josh Arnold]

And he's. Oh, how generous. He's doing it for free.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

How nice of him.

[Ace Cosby]

The 32 year old has fathered 87 children so far, but learned that he's on Track to hit 100 babies by the end of the year. Mr. Gordy told Jam Press it feels great to be a dad of so many children.

[Christy Lee]

How many?

[Ace Cosby]

87 so far.

[Christy Lee]

Dude, that guy's tie collection has to be on point.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait till the child support knocks on the door.

[Christy Lee]

Exactly.

[Ace Cosby]

He says he's helped conceive all across the globe. The serial sperm donor said he plans to surpass Telegram founders founder Pavel Durov who is reported to have at least 100 biological children. And this gentleman is currently on a 2025 donation world tour and jokes he might have a quote, child in each country by 2026.

[Josh Arnold]

This is an odd thing. There was a character on one of the guys on 90 Day Fiance who. That was his job. He would go around and help out, you know, same sex couple.

[Tom Griswold]

In other words, he would donate his sperm. But I mean it's sometimes in the natural way.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh really?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, the big, big chill style. And that's what caused the problem in his relationship. His fiance wouldn't hurt him to stop. Imagine that. Yeah, not. Not an unreasonable.

[Ace Cosby]

Mr. Gordy said he's helped dozens of women conceived, but he also remains unlucky in love. Probably for that very reason.

[Tom Griswold]

No, probably because he calls, what did he call himself? The CEO of Sperm donating.

[Josh Arnold]

Something cool.

[Tom Griswold]

If you're wearing a big I'm a sperm donor T shirt at the bars, the ladies aren't going to go, hey, look, there's the guy with a female body inspector hat. I want to talk to that guy.

[Josh Arnold]

I kind of have a sperm donor T shirt if you know what I.

[Tom Griswold]

Mean, in a way.

[Ace Cosby]

That's right. You are a T shirt guy.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no. When you call your.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

The sperminator or the. The sperm and tank something. Cool.

[Tom Griswold]

Cool. Wouldn't you just shut up and be cool about it and not walk around talking about how you crank it into test tubes all the time.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, that's a lot of kids.

[Tom Griswold]

That's some class.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I know there's some legal sign off so that you can't. They can't come after him for child support. You would think, but there was a famous case a few years back, lesbian couple did this. Yeah. They. The guy, they said, you're okay, you don't have to be. And then the court ruled that because they hadn't gone through some tech technical thing, he was.

[Ace Cosby]

They didn't do a medical procedure. They just used a turkey baster or.

[Tom Griswold]

Whatever and that he got called support. Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So look before you leap.

[Ace Cosby]

I guess members of the school of.

[Tom Griswold]

By the way, how do they. This real quick. How do they prevent those. The. The children that are the result from. Yeah. Hooking up.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, that's what I was gonna say. Well, how would you not, you know, hey, go down the road and you start dating somebody and just your half sister. Are we going to start having to have DNA tests before we get married now?

[Christy Lee]

Don't find out till after the baby. It just comes out. Eyes a little too close.

[Ace Cosby]

I mean, we've got the doctor.

[Tom Griswold]

Their third nose.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

That's like, hey, maybe we should do a dm.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, we have the doctors that have my son Flipper. You know, the infertility doctors that have been accused of.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Donating their own sperm. Yeah, there's a couple of cases like that.

[Jordan Jensen]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Interesting, interesting stuff.

[Ace Cosby]

Members of the School of Rock cast enjoyed a mini reunion after two of the film's actors got married recently.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, cool.

[Ace Cosby]

According to the New York Times, Angelo Maselli. Is that it? Ms. Ology and Caitlyn Hale bonded while working on the 2003 Jackson Black film when they were 10 years old. While there was no hint of crushes at the time and both left show business to pursue other careers, the Bear Connected in 2018 while attending schools in Florida and tied the knot earlier this month at a ceremony in New Jersey.

[Josh Arnold]

It's very sweet.

[Ace Cosby]

That was attended by nine of the movie's cast members. Ms. Hale's character was a backup singer named Marta, while Mr. I don't know how to say his last name, Missagha played Frankie, who is part of the band's Pint sized security detail. He is now a lawyer for TikTok where he works as music product counsel. Ms. Hale is an OBGYN. We were just talking about this sonographer. She does the ultrasounds.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, okay.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. By the way, Jack Black politely declined an invitation citing an ongoing film project, but was nice and generous with his words and definitely commented on it privately.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, this is a nice, happy story. Yeah, I was.

[Josh Arnold]

Great movie.

[Tom Griswold]

I was expecting School of Rock stars. Now only fans.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, you know Jack Black.

[Christy Lee]

Yay. Nay.

[Ace Cosby]

I like.

[Josh Arnold]

For me, I get a real kick out.

[Christy Lee]

I feel like he's doing too much.

[Tom Griswold]

You ever see he's terrific in a. What's the movie called? Where he's the.

[Josh Arnold]

Bernie.

[Tom Griswold]

Bernie.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, actually.

[Tom Griswold]

He'S a coroner or something. Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

That's based on a true story.

[Christy Lee]

That is a great.

[Tom Griswold]

And he's terrific.

[Christy Lee]

He is.

[Tom Griswold]

And he's not doing that, you know, wink at the camera shtick that he does. It's, it's. That's a terrific dramatic movie, Bernie. I haven't seen it. See it again right now. Once again to our quick reminder down the road that way, as you can see right in the distance there, that's Valentine's Day. So what can you do for Valentine's Day? Well, you can't go wrong with diamonds. That's where Steven Singer, of course, comes in. Real diamonds. Earthborne diamonds. Stephen Singer, Jewel Jewelers. Get all the details. That I hate. Stevensinger.com got a letter right here, by the way. Hey, Tom, I want to share this. I bought two of those Wicked roses from Stephen Singer for my wife's birthday on January 6th. She loved them. We saw the play in Chicago many moons ago and just watched the movie. Well, that was about Stephen's previous rose, the one that was kind of a little tribute to the movie Wicked and the stage play. Right now they've got the Peacock teal rose. What's this all about? Well, it's a real rose dipped in 24 karat gold. And then it's painted beautifully with very special paints. And it's called the Peacock teal Rose. Kind of a Caribbean island feel. And you can grab these roses, 79 bucks at Steven Singer Jewelers. By the way, shipping always free. Just go to ihatestevensinger.com and check them out. Of course, they also have lots of bracelets and earrings, necklaces, et cetera, et cetera. And Stephen, famous for his lifetime guarantee and you're gonna be happy. Get all the [e-mail] that's I hate stephensinger.com S T E V E N By the way, and knock off that Valentine's Day obligation right now. It's ihatestevensinger.com thank you very much, Stephen. We got comedian Nick Griffin in the studio with us. Nick is going to be live and in person in Peoria at the famous jukebox tonight. And tomorrow, Nick, fresh off the Tonight show, many appearances on Letterman. You can see him live and in person and enjoy some great live comedy. While I'm at it, don't forget that Heywood Banks will be in Massillon, Ohio, tonight and Youngstown coming up tomorrow night at the Funny Farm. But tonight it's crackpots and Massillon. We're coming right back. This is the Bob and Tom Show. For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom show contest rules, go to bobandtom.com or just scroll down to the bottom of the page and see contest rules. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy, Jeff, Ace, myself Josh Arnold. There's Tom Griswold. And we have a terrific guest this morning, Tom. We've had a couple.

[Tom Griswold]

Oaxaca Godwin's still back in the.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I forgot. I'm sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

Nuremberg room there.

[Josh Arnold]

I didn't mean to forget you there.

[Tom Griswold]

You're allowed to come back in now, Pat. This chair's over.

[Pat Godwin]

I'll be right in.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Pat Godwin]

I love it in there.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

I love having you in here.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, good. Now let's see. Where was I? Oh, that's Nick Griffin, comedian right there.

[Nick Griffin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Once again, recently on the Tonight show, done a whole bunch of Letterman shows over the course of a great career. And Nick is a very funny guy.

[Christy Lee]

You got a YouTube special out, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Nick Griffin]

Absolutely. Wonderful. On YouTube. Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Excellent.

[Christy Lee]

It's very good.

[Nick Griffin]

Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good.

[Ace Cosby]

My Patty G. They're selling that.

[Tom Griswold]

Nick, we talked about that earlier. There's a reason. Reason Nick isn't in sales. Patty G. Working on his comedy special. When are you filming that one?

[Pat Godwin]

February 8th in Provo.

[Tom Griswold]

In Provo, Utah.

[Josh Arnold]

Dry bar.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's called the Dry Bar.

[Pat Godwin]

Crazy clean. Real clean clean. Church clean.

[Nick Griffin]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

I got three minutes.

[Tom Griswold]

We're going to be doing a show. It won't be church clean, but it'll be fairly clean. Friday, February 21, at the Riverside Casino and Resort in Riverside, Iowa, courtesy of 100.7 the Fox and Cedar Rapids information at Riverside Casino and Resort.com and the that night we'll do a comedy show live. Live from the casino. It'll be. Let's see, Pat Godwin. Who's right there. Josh Arnold. Who's right there? Jeff Oskay. Who's right there? I'll be your host and special guest, Al Jackson. Well, thank you, Tom. You're welcome, Al.

[Josh Arnold]

He sounds like one of the Jacksons.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much. Time now to. Well, anything else we need to know about your life, Nick? Anything happening?

[Nick Griffin]

Well, I do have to get back into the. The dating field just to, you know, stay busy. But I'm scared. I'm not scared. I'm just. I've been dating for. You know, I've been dating for decades. I mean, that's amazing. Decades update. Hundreds of hours of. I could have learned an instrument by.

[Ace Cosby]

Now.

[Nick Griffin]

Or a language or something productive. But it's just harder when you're older to date, I think. You don't get to say some of those wonderful things you can say when you're young. You know, like, I've never felt this way before. I'm in my 50s. I felt this way before. So I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm.

[Nick Griffin]

I'm gonna just hang in there. I've almost given up, and I know we were talking about earlier. Jordan Jensen's mom had given up, and I feel like I'm close. I just. I wish there was a bar that I could go to that almost, you know, you're almost done. You know, you. I wish the Goodwill had a bar. That's what I'm looking for. Take some secondhand clothing in and then just see what happens.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, thank you, Nick. Once again, Nick will be at the Jukebox, Peoria tonight and tomorrow for some great live comedy. Time now to educate. I have no idea. What day is today?

[Ace Cosby]

Today's January 10th.

[Tom Griswold]

January 10th. Let's see if anything interesting happened on January 10th. Anybody have any ideas?

[Ace Cosby]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

You.

[Ace Cosby]

You've got the info over there?

[Tom Griswold]

No, I don't even really have it. Oh, here we go. Here we go. This is today in history. January 10th. Oh, this is good. This is something everybody gets wrong.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Born on this date in 1864. George Washington Carl Carver.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

He did not invent peanut butter. Remember how everyone thought that?

[Nick Griffin]

Of course I did.

[Tom Griswold]

He did. He did a lot of work with peanuts, but did not invent peanut butter. Let's see. Happy birthday. Oh, Frank Sinatra junior. Oh, young blue eyes.

[Josh Arnold]

The member of the board.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. Sadly gone on. You know, he's. He's already left us. Here we go. Rod Stewart, born in the state in 1945.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, he's still rocking it.

[Tom Griswold]

He's, he's touring this summer.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. Still got the rooster hair and everything.

[Tom Griswold]

The great Donald Fagan from Steely Dan, born in this state in 1948. If you ever get a chance to see Steely Dan, by all means, go see him, Mr. Fagan. He had to go into the hospital for a while, but I guess he's doing okay now. Now. But terrific. All those great records from Steely Dan. Okay, this is a trivia question for you, ace. Born in 1953. Pat Benatar. In what movie did they say she's affecting? The Pat Benatar look.

[Josh Arnold]

Past times Original.

[Tom Griswold]

That's right.

[Nick Griffin]

I would have gotten that.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That's great. On this date of 1950, Jerry Lee Lewis's Great Balls of Fire reaches number one in the UK. Cool. And then it was pretty much over after that, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, he did plenty. Yeah. Yeah. But you know, I don't think he got a ton of radio play.

[Tom Griswold]

And wasn't there some issue about marrying his.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, there were some questions. Romantic choices.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Seem to be in love. What am I? Who am I?

[Tom Griswold]

The Sopranos debuted on HBO, believe it or not, on this date in 1999.

[Josh Arnold]

One good episode. I can't believe.

[Ace Cosby]

I have never watched.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, you're missing out.

[Josh Arnold]

They're rerunning it on one of the HBOs.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, they are? Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's kind of like that. It's kind of like the Three Tenors, but the voices are higher. I. It's very, very good. I certainly would recommend it. I'll also recommend a couple of other things. Got some great comedy this weekend. Haywood Banks at Crackpots in Massillon, Ohio to tonight he's at the Funny Farm in Youngstown. Coming up on Saturday night, Castakia Kahna Mopoulos at the White Squirrel Brewery tonight in Bowling Green, Kentucky. Then Evansville, Indiana on Saturday night. O'Brien Sports Bar is the place to see Kostaki. And once again, Nick Griffin live and in person at the Jukebox in Peoria. And we're going to be live and in person at the Riverside casino and resort February 21st. It's a Friday night. Details on that can be found at Riverside Casino and Resort dot com. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is is the Bob and Tom Show. Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe.

[Ace Cosby]

Actor Michael Rosenbaum, he knows some of.

[Tom Griswold]

The most talented people in the business.

[Ace Cosby]

And now he's getting the inside story.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's get inside of Heather Grant. I can't look at, like, Boogie Nights and think you were a nerd. Johnny Knoxville. You think you're going to do another Jackass movie? What do your kids want? Dad's not going to do that. You got to be careful how you choose your heroes.

[Ace Cosby]

Hear from some of the most fascinating people in pop culture today.

[Tom Griswold]

Danny Trejo. You're a legend. Do you know you're a legend?

[Pat Godwin]

You can't be a legend having this much fun.

[Ace Cosby]

The inside of you podcast, follow and listen on your favorite platform.