The BOB & TOM Show - January 5, 2026

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show – January 5, 2026

Host: The BOB & TOM Show Crew
Episode Theme: Return from Holiday – Comedy, Vacation Recaps, Life’s Oddities, New Year’s Resolutions, and Hilarious News

---

Overview

The January 5th, 2026 episode of The BOB & TOM Show marks the crew’s lively return from holiday break. The show blends classic BOB & TOM mischief—irreverent banter, comic songs, and listener letters—with recaps of everyone’s vacations, reflections on modern annoyances, and an abundance of odd and outrageous news stories. Highlights include post-holiday routines, culinary confessions, robust debates on the merits of beards, a running battle over a new office refrigerator, and an extensive exploration of the weirdest medical reports and human behaviors. New Year’s resolutions are exchanged with humorous skepticism, and the crew plunges headfirst into the absurd with their signature wit.

---

Main Topics & Segments

1. Opening Comedy Song: "Internet Porn"

[00:32-02:57]

• A musical parody lampoons the evolution of adult entertainment, blending clever wordplay and raunchy exaggerations.
• Notable line:
  B: "Internet porn. Girl on girl on girl on girl on girl on guy on sheep... When you're given so much to choose from, who has time to sleep?"

---

2. Back from Vacation: Recap & Banter

[03:08-07:18]

• The crew shares holiday maladies, beard status, and light-hearted morbidity about funeral grooming choices:
  A: "Pat, Josh, what do you think? Keep the beards in the casket or you clean shaven?"
  C: "Oh, beard, beard."
• Christy Lee relishes her staycation, stirring a brief ode to the pleasures of homebody life and the universal pull of 'home':
  A/Seinfeld: "When you're home, you want to go out. Then when you're out, all you want is to go home."

---

3. Annoyances in Modern Hospitality, Salt, & Sweeteners

[09:03-11:19]

• Tom laments new restaurant and coffee shop "policies"—no salt on tables, missing preferred artificial sweeteners, and performative pepper grinders:
  D: "You gotta go to these coffee shops and they only have whatever it is… tree hugging crap. Let me decide!"

---

4. New Year’s Eves Recap & Irish Traditions

[12:00-13:44]

• Crew members share ("unimpressive") bedtimes for NYE.
• Pat Godwin introduces an Irish tradition:
  F: "A dark-haired person has to go outside at midnight with coins, then bring good luck in for the new year."

---

5. Travel Tribulations: TSA & Security Tales

[07:18-08:48, 75:41-76:08]

• Tales of repeated TSA pat-downs, suspicion for flying solo with children, and frustrations with PreCheck.
• A: "This guy was really in there. Maybe just maybe guys like you?"

---

6. Return to Work: The Joys of a New Refrigerator

[09:03-11:01, 49:00-52:59]

• The arrival of a new break room fridge is met with over-the-top celebration, including a breakroom fridge origin debate and tales of garage fridges, with Christy boasting her "convenience store" setup at home.

---

7. Gifts & Mini Guitars: Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame

[17:42-19:19]

• Christmas gift exchange: miniature guitars inspired by legendary artists.
• Tom shows off his set, while Christy delays opening hers, leading to playful teasing.

---

8. Comedy Club Adventures

[19:24-20:13]

• Josh visits St. Louis’ "Funny Bone" for open mic night – is introduced as "another comedy legend."
• Nikki Glaser reportedly kills with her Golden Globes set.

---

9. Listener Mailbag & Recurring Characters

[20:21-23:29]

• Letters highlight show references like "Horvath" and recount past holiday guests.
• Listeners note how on-air comments (e.g., Rossignol ski boots) impact real-world shopping.

---

10. TV & Movie Recommendations

[06:02-06:38, 28:04-29:44, 41:38-41:48]

• Crew reviews streaming picks:
  • Blackbird ("really well done, gruesome")
  • The Beast in Me with Matthew Rhys ("the best")
  • Landman featuring Jerry Jones as himself ("shockingly good acting!")
• Movie/TV review banter includes tales of bad skiing vacations and the importance of car choice among characters.

---

11. Holiday Food Confessions

[36:09-37:19]

• Vacation gluttony tales:
  • Cookie dough waffle and "diet of a toddler": C: "I ate like a toddler."
  • Baba Ganoush discovery: D: "I guess everybody else has tried baba ganoush…I loved it!"

---

12. New Year’s Resolutions

[124:23-129:32]

• Crew shares quirky, realistic resolutions:
  • Chick: No “audibles” with his outfit; whatever is out gets worn.
  • Tom: Lays out underwear so it’s always “steppable.”
  • Christy: Vows to say “no” more often; protect personal time.
  • Pat: Five-minute daily gym cold plunges & pickleball.

---

13. Absurd News Roundup & Running Gags

a) NFL & Sports News

[29:44–31:12, 42:23–43:54, 64:23–65:07]

• Chiefs moving from Missouri to Kansas ("Paris of the Plains, City of Fountains").
• AFC/NFC playoffs set – "whole new world" with perennial favorites missing.

b) Circumcision Deaths in South Africa

[130:45–132:23]

• 41 deaths after initiation ceremonies.
• Dives into cultural nuances and the tragic consequences of illegal clinics.

c) China’s Tax on Birth Control

[132:27–135:30]

• Discussing China’s 13% tax on condoms & contraceptives to boost falling birth rates.
• Comparison with Japanese birthrate policies and ‘love education.’

d) Lobster Heist & Costco

[138:04–139:24]

• $400,000 in frozen lobsters stolen.
• The crew riffs on how one fences that much lobster.
• D: "Costco's boiling mad!"

e) Waymo Car Intruder

[146:27–149:14]

• Woman finds a man hiding in the trunk/bay of an autonomous car in LA.
• Discussion leads to how modern cars allow trunk escape and safety features.

f) Wallaby on the Loose

[149:58–151:03]

• A repeat-offender wallaby is found at Walmart—discussion veers to kangaroo biology and pouches.

g) Foreign Objects in the Human Body (Rectum Segment)

[96:08–122:57]

• Annual tradition: bizarre and dangerous items found in ER over the past year, including aerosol cans, dryer sheets, baton, pasta, light bulbs, wine stopper, dildos, penny, marbles, and more.
• Multiple speakers with one-liners throughout:
  • C: "Wouldn't even the most primitive of minds go, this is not going to come out?" [105:48]
  • F (song spoof): "I didn’t put it up my rectum, so how it got there, doctor, is a mystery." [121:35]

---

14. Music, Sex, and the Brain

[80:24–81:30]

• New research: Listening to favorite music activates the same brain regions as sex and food, sometimes even causing physical chills.
  E: "[It] affects the brain’s opioid system—music can evoke intense pleasure, sometimes as pleasant chills."

---

15. Miscellaneous Entertaining Tangents

- Car Wash Joy

[89:28–91:14]
Lengthy, joyous discussion about the satisfying sensory experience of automatic car washes and associated childhood fears, ending with Tom’s car wash rituals:
D: "I’ll get in the car wash and have to complete Wordle before I get out."

- Beard Debates

[85:05–87:42]
Panel discussion: “Does every man look better with a beard?” Opinions divided.
A: “Every guy looks better in a beard.”
D: “Not true! …I just don’t think it’s Ace's look.”

- Listener Letters

Interspersed throughout, readers call in with stories about dogs, ski gear shortages, and more.

---

16. Historical Miscellany

[155:33–161:19]

• Highlights of January 5th in history: divorce in 1643, the “Great Frost” of 1709, Bonnie & Clyde’s meeting in 1930, debut of Pepe Le Pew, and the rise of the safety razor.
• Sugarhill Gang’s "Rappers Delight" discussed as the first mainstream hip hop hit: D: “A lot of the people that created it didn't get the money."

---

Notable Quotes

• "Internet porn. When you're given so much to choose from, who has time to sleep?" (B, [00:52])
• "There’s a conspiracy…I love real cream." (D, [09:36])
• "When you're home, you want to go out. Then when you're out, you just want to go home." (A/Seinfeld, [07:10])
• "You gotta go to these coffee shops and they only have whatever it is…tree hugging crap. Let me decide!" (D, [10:03])
• "No, but my son had to go outside and come in because he’s the only dark headed person, our family tradition." (F, [12:08])
• "What is it about me that I keep getting the full...pat down?" (D, [75:41])
• "That magnificent bastard is right there…The fridge part’s on top, the freezer on the bottom…" (A, [49:35])
• "Cookie dough waffle…what am I doing? If a baby had money!" (C, [36:33])
• "Every guy looks better in a beard." (A, [86:14])
• "So is 400,000 bucks just one truckload of lobster? … Costco’s boiling mad." (D, [138:33], [138:49])

---

Memorable Moments & Humor Highlights

• Celebrating the new office refrigerator as if it were a SpaceX launch.
• The infamous “foreign objects” rectum list—complete with an original song parody.
  F (singing): "I didn’t put it up my rectum, so how it got there, doctor, is a mystery." [121:35]
• Listeners blame Tom for ski gear shortages by hyping Rossignol boots.
• Banter about Kansas City Chiefs’ state loyalty and confusion over sports geography ("Paris of the Plains, City of Fountains").
• Pat’s account of Irish coin-and-shot traditions for New Year’s—bewildering everyone else.
• The “cookie dough waffle” and “I ate like a toddler” sequence.
• Historical detours: Bonnie & Clyde, Pepe Le Pew’s cancellation, safety razors, and more.

---

Timestamps of Key Segments

• Opening Song: "Internet Porn" – [00:32–02:57]
• Vacation Recaps & Sick Leave – [03:08–07:18]
• Annoyed Rants (Salt/Pepper/Sweetener) – [09:03–11:19]
• New Year’s Eve & Irish Traditions – [12:00–13:44]
• TSA Pat-Down Stories – [07:18–08:48], [75:41–76:08]
• New Refrigerator Segment – [49:00–52:59]
• Comedy Club Adventures – [19:24–20:13]
• Listener Letter Highlights – [20:21–23:29], [21:39, 25:24]
• Sports Relocation & Chiefs News – [29:44–31:12], [42:23–43:54], [64:23–65:07]
• Foreign Objects in Rectums Segment – [96:08–122:57]
• Circumcision Deaths – [130:45–132:23]
• Chinese Birth Control Taxation – [132:27–135:30]
• Lobster Heist – [138:04–139:24]
• Waymo Car Intruder – [146:27–149:14]
• Wallaby on the Loose – [149:58–151:03]
• Music and Brain Pleasure – [80:24–81:30]
• Historical Segment – [155:33–161:19]

---

Tone & Style

• Playful, irreverent, and quick-witted
• Classic Bob & Tom “riffing” as well as sincere personal anecdotes
• Occasional blue humor and edgy jokes, balanced by warm camaraderie

---

Summary

This episode encapsulates the spirit of The BOB & TOM Show: equal parts riotous, absurd, and relatable. From tales of TSA intimacy to fridge adoration, offbeat holiday traditions, and jaw-droppingly weird ER reports, the crew’s warmth and camaraderie invite listeners to laugh at life’s unpredictability. Classic comedy grounds the show while present-day quirks—like self-driving car mishaps, New Year’s resolutions, and televised DJ complaints—provide a pulse on contemporary life. The show closes with the message that while you can’t control the weather, or the odds of ending up on a TSA watchlist, you can always depend on the Bob & Tom crew’s raucous return to the airwaves.

---

Listen if you: Love stand-up, irreverent news, oddball humor, and a peek into the weirdness of everyday American life, all delivered by radio’s most seasoned creative improv team.

Transcript

[A]

It's the bob and tom show.

[B]

Back in the not too distant past when I would need a quick repast or a temporary break from my agenda. Off to the bedroom I would head pull out the Playboy from neath bed and sneak a peek at all the portraits of Pudenda. My alternatives were slim. If I tried to find another source for sin, I'd have to hang out with the losers in the back room of my local video. But last month I finally made the call. I got a brand new cable modem installed and it opened up the floodgates on a whole new universe of Internet porn. Internet porn Roman orgy scenes. Internet porn Dominatrix queens. Internet porn. Girl on girl on girl on girl on girl on guy on sheep. Internet porn. Gross anatomy. Internet porn. Pam and Tommy Lee. Internet porn. When you're given so much to choose from, who has time to sleep? Honestly, honey, I don't know how the link got on there. After my girlfriend goes to sleep, then I get out of bed and down the hall I creep so I can hunker down and wallow in depravity until 3 or 4. You'll always find me in that same tableau, silhouetted by my monitor's warm glow and absorbing all the bounty from the a cornucopia of Internet porn. Internet porn. Barely legal teens. Internet porn. Naughty figurines. Internet. Geriatric German grandmas spanking Spanish men. Internet porn. Erotic Asian art. Internet porn. Guys with extra parts. Internet. I don't think I'm ever going to see the sun again. Internet. Pornmelonlove.com Internet. There's my neighbor's mom.

[C]

Internet.

[B]

Born bikers wearing diapers, chasing nurses dressed like Smurfs. Internet Born maison et clevage. Internet. Born en de trois menage. Internet. Every kind of smut from every corner of the earth.

[A]

All right, shut up. Shut up. Everybody. Shut up. We got a show to do. We got a show to do. Are you happy to be back?

[D]

Yes, sir.

[A]

One out of six. It's not bad. What is that, 20%? Hello. It's the Bob and Tom show in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[E]

Hi, chick.

[A]

She's at the Silac Insurance news desk. Forgot how microphones work. Yep. There's Pat Godwin.

[D]

Hello.

[A]

Let me tell you how microphones work. Here's Josh Arnold.

[F]

Hi.

[A]

He's at the I Hate Steven Singer Sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby. Hello. Oh, Ace is scruffy just the way Tom likes him.

[E]

He is scruffy.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I'm how long were you held, Captain? Damn it, I'm telling you, don't listen to him. I think it looks good, but that's mine.

[D]

I saw our engineer, Eddie had been sick for most of his vacation, and he also has.

[E]

Oh, he has scruff.

[D]

Scruff.

[E]

Oh, I haven't seen him.

[A]

Yeah, I was sick. Don't I get a shout out? Did you hear how debilitated I am?

[E]

How sick were you?

[A]

Oh, I. I almost died.

[E]

Well, you didn't reach out to anyone. I would have made you chicken soup.

[A]

Oh, God, no. I'd never reach out to anybody.

[D]

Well, the good thing is that your. Your. Your beard is fully in there. So if you had died, you look okay in the casket.

[A]

I would think so.

[D]

The ace would just look like, you.

[A]

Know, I hadn't thought about run.

[D]

Run over in an alley.

[A]

Let's see. Pat, Josh, what do you think? You keep the beards in the casket or you clean shaven?

[C]

Oh, beard, beard.

[F]

You got to be coughing.

[E]

Ready? Yeah, you.

[C]

You always walk around coughing. Ready?

[A]

I like. I like. Where. God, this. Yeah, I. I keep the beard in the coffin. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

I think it would startle people if you didn't.

[A]

Yeah, you would replace. Oh, he looks so nice, doesn't he? Until. Where the hell's his beard right now?

[C]

Let me ask you this. If they do shave you and they cut you, do you want them to.

[D]

Put a little styptic pencil or toilet paper or stitches? Does it bleed?

[E]

Well, no.

[A]

By the way, I didn't know I talked about this. My dad in the casket, they did something wrong with his mouth. It was. It was off.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, like it was when they. They saw it from the inside. And then fold your face back up. Something like that. I don't know.

[D]

Well, we'll take our ninth caller for casket talk.

[E]

People are like, boy, I'm glad you guys are back.

[D]

Has anybody watched the.

[A]

Your mom.

[D]

There's a thing, I think it's called Blackbird.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Where the guy goes to prison. And if you did, you watched that thing.

[E]

I know what you're talking about.

[D]

Yeah, it's really well done. But there's a. This porg. Well, he's a. Turns out to be a serial killer, but as a kid, he digs up graves and steals jewels from the casket.

[A]

I'm sorry, initially, when you started this story, did you say this poor guy?

[D]

Yeah, I watched it on the plane, so. But yeah, it's really gruesome.

[A]

I got a show, Netflix. You know how you go on Netflix, and every time they say, hey, you would like. And the picture comes up, hey, you would like the beast in me with our boy Matthew Reese.

[D]

Yeah, I saw the whole thing.

[A]

Have you seen the whole thing? Don't tell me anything about it. It's the best, right? It's pretty good.

[D]

Can I just say one thing? This won't hurt your.

[A]

I bet it will. No, but go ahead.

[D]

Claire drives the same car you do.

[A]

I know. Well, he's got the M, though. I think I've heard it pulling away. He's got your model, but.

[D]

Yeah, but you know.

[A]

Yes, he drives around.

[D]

These guys got the rocket, but yeah, that's the.

[A]

He's pretty good. Yeah, he's great.

[D]

We'll hope everybody had a good time.

[A]

Suck.

[D]

Sorry you were sick, chick. Christy, I know. You stayed home, right?

[A]

I did staycation.

[E]

I did nothing. I read a lot of books.

[D]

Could you do me a favor? Could you write an essay about why it's great to just stay home and read? Just tool around the house. Amazing. Not go everywhere.

[A]

I'm going to credit this to Seinfeld, but I. Probably someone else can. I. I don't know. But he said, you know, when you're home, you want, hey, let's go out. Then when you're out, what are you thinking?

[E]

I want to go home.

[A]

I just want to go home.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

I worked all my life to build this house and we're leaving.

[E]

Kind of exactly how I felt.

[D]

Yeah. Now I got to figure out what it is. I've gone through TSA four times. The last three times full pat down, taken to the side, even with TSA prechecked. Remove the shoes.

[C]

I'd like to think I have something to do with this.

[D]

I don't know what list I'm on.

[F]

It's your T shirt. TSA sucks T shirt.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

No, no. They were very polite, but I mean, the fat B. TSA at the Denver Airport, I got the whole. Put this foot forward, put this foot back, that foot forward. Okay. I'm going to be feeling here. Do you want to go to a private area for me to do this? Like what? Yeah, that's three times out of four. I don't know if there must be.

[E]

Something on your boarding pass. Did you look? Is there a special mark?

[D]

I don't know. They don't look at your boarding.

[A]

Wait a minute, That's.

[E]

Oh, that's true.

[A]

That's the thing, that there's no mark. That's how you're marked.

[E]

Oh, really?

[D]

Oh, no, no. When you. When you're at that. With that Stage of. They don't know who. I thought. Who knows. I don't know what it is. I. I mean, obviously I'm fairly suspicious. A man traveling with his several children. Usually those are the guys that are the lunatic bombers.

[A]

Well, talk about a perfect disguise, I guess.

[D]

I don't know.

[A]

The golden retriever is a bomb. You don't know.

[D]

I mean, this. This last. Would he. He could tell. He could tell I was circumcised. This guy was really in there.

[E]

Maybe you get off a vibe.

[D]

I get. Who knows?

[E]

Yeah, maybe just maybe guys like you.

[A]

Maybe just like the cut.

[D]

But I've got the TSA PreCheck. Yes, but I had to remove my shoes, which I thought that was.

[A]

You know, there's another one now. Clear. You got clear?

[E]

I try. Well, we don't have clear at our airport.

[A]

Not at our airport. But yeah. I mean, Austin, he just. Yeah, right through. Clear.

[D]

Okay. I don't know. I mean, I'm fine. I'm done. Just take my belt off.

[A]

But the big news. We're back from vacation. Have you been to the break room?

[C]

Hell, yeah.

[A]

Oh, you got it.

[F]

Amazing.

[A]

Spend some time. The new fridge is here.

[D]

Have a refrigerator. The door opens the correct way and.

[C]

It really is cool.

[A]

It's really.

[D]

Yeah, it's not. Yeah, it's nice. The cream was chilled. That's right. It's real American cream from real American cows, ladies and gentlemen.

[C]

And it was.

[A]

Did you upset a dairy farmer at some time and you're. This is all trying to fix that situation. There must be something going on.

[D]

I love real cream. And by the way, there's a conspiracy.

[A]

Okay. How long were you at work before you wanted to go home? Nine minutes.

[D]

I'm tired of going to places now. For example, a lot of restaurants no longer have salt and pepper on the table. That pisses me off.

[A]

All right.

[D]

The other thing is you can't. You go. You got to go to these coffee shops and they only have whatever it is. What's the fake. They don't have the fake sugar that I like. They don't have Splenda.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

They don't have Equal. They have some tree hugging crap. Let me decide if I want to. If I want to put stuff in.

[A]

My coffee, if I want to hug a tree. Let me decide.

[C]

Right.

[D]

But yeah. What is this thing with no salt?

[E]

Bring your own. Just bring your little pack.

[D]

It's kind of inconvenient, trying to tell you. Yeah, well, they're not okay.

[E]

If you ask for salt, they don't.

[D]

Bring it to you, I suppose it's probably going to come in a carafe with some kind of. I did. Just annoying. Why can't I have my Splenda or my equal?

[C]

Do you like a pepper grinder? Do you like a gentleman who comes.

[D]

Over and as a general rule, no. I mean, I appreciate the offer, but I typically don't do it. And that became a thing several years ago. Remember that? They started getting larger and larger and pretty soon three guys would bring it over like they were portaging a canoe. Would you like some pepper?

[C]

I didn't notice that. Just because I. I don't dine at places. I haven't had that offered to me in decades, probably.

[D]

I'm just saying what is. If you know what I'm talking about.

[E]

You know, I know exactly what you're talking about. And I also almost reached out to you on vacation because your favorite restaurant's changing.

[D]

I saw. I was there yesterday.

[E]

I thought, oh my gosh, what's Tom gonna do now? What are you gonna do?

[C]

Hey, the McRib will be back.

[D]

Thank you, Josh. Well, these things are all good. We have lots to get to.

[A]

They are all good, but.

[D]

So, Christy, you had your. The classic staycation.

[E]

Yeah, it was great. Kids came home, stayed about 10 days and then they left.

[D]

Wait a minute. I take it back.

[A]

I bet that was a joy when they left.

[E]

No, it was good. It was good.

[C]

Good.

[E]

They were in and out a lot.

[A]

How long were they there when you. So what do you guys think about.

[E]

Leaving a couple days? Start on 29th of December? No.

[D]

Okay, now I want to go in the room real quick. We have time for this. What time did you go to bed on New Year's Eve, Ace?

[C]

Eleven.

[D]

Eleven. Okay, Chick.

[A]

7:30, 8:00', clock, something like that.

[D]

Pat, were you doing 1205?

[F]

I had a son who had. He had to go outside and come in because he's the only dark headed person. Our family tradition.

[C]

Yes. Yes.

[A]

What the hell am I.

[F]

This is an Irish thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

What kind of Irish.

[F]

A dark haired person has.

[A]

I love that.

[F]

Yeah. So he goes out as five of.

[A]

Did you consult the bones before you sent them outside?

[D]

What do you have toal now? He carries. He's a dark person. Have to carry a little.

[A]

Wait a minute.

[C]

What?

[A]

No, he's dark haired. He has to carry a dark haired.

[D]

I.

[A]

Sorry, what did you think he said?

[E]

He said dark person.

[D]

Oh, did I?

[E]

That's what he thinks.

[C]

No, you did not.

[E]

That's what I heard.

[D]

I've never heard of this crazy tradition.

[F]

Yeah, you go out with coins.

[A]

Okay, you go out with coins only if you're dark headed and you put.

[F]

Them under the mat.

[C]

What mat?

[F]

There's I. We have a welcome mat at the apartment.

[C]

Compliment.

[D]

So then the next day is Santa. Santa Claus pick them up in lieu of cookies?

[F]

Well, no, it's January 1st. Santa's retired by that.

[C]

Oh, he better be resting.

[D]

Yeah, I heard he was staying. Staying at Christie's house with the kids so he could eat their food.

[F]

See, I did this for my grandma because I was the only dark haired person in our family. I have redhead sisters and brothers and my dad is a red beard. So I was the one I'd spend New Year's Eve party.

[E]

Did you do a DNA test?

[F]

No, not yet, but I will.

[E]

Dark hair?

[A]

Oh, I don't know.

[E]

Everybody else is redhead.

[A]

I think we know.

[D]

I need to know more about your tradition. I didn't know that.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

Christy, what time did you go to bed?

[E]

Went to bed at 9. My husband went to the Rose bowl, got up and went on a 5am flight, went to the game in Pasadena, got on the red eye and flew home.

[F]

Wow.

[E]

Yeah, he and his son.

[D]

Great game.

[E]

Oh, it was.

[A]

Yeah, if you're a Hoosier fan.

[E]

Yeah, but he had a great time.

[D]

Josh. New Year's eve.

[C]

Oh boy. 11 or so. Because the fireworks woke me up just shortly after I fell asleep.

[E]

What time did you go to bed?

[D]

10 of 10.

[E]

Ah.

[A]

Oh, I believe you chuckled at me for 7 or 8 o'. Clock.

[E]

10 of 10 is pretty good for you.

[D]

Yeah, well, you know, I figured it's the new year, started taking place in London, England. I'm okay with it. Yeah. Okay. Well, now we have a lot of interesting things happening. Glad to be back. This portion of the Bob and Tom Show. Hey, thanks. It's brought to you by Homeserve Homeserv, sponsoring the Bob and Tom Show. Now let's see, you protect your, your health, you got health insurance, you got your car insurance, maybe even have your your phone insured, maybe even your dog. But what about your house? Probably your biggest investment. And when things go wrong, they can hit fast. Anybody here ever gotten that phone call while at work? Hey, you've got a flood. You know what I'm talking about. Things can happen to your house and a lot of day to day wear and tear is not covered by your insurance. Things like minor plumbing failures, H vac breakdowns, electrical stuff. Sometimes you need help fast. Homeserve is like a subscription for your house for as little as $4, 99 cents a month. They've got your back. Repairs that you need to have done immediately. HomeServe is a 24. 7 hotline, so you can schedule a repair right away. Choose a plan that fits your needs. There's a bunch of different options here. So if you've ever had that surprise septic line blow, that happened to me many years ago. Not pleasant. Protect your home systems and your wallet with HomeServe. All kinds of repairs are covered. Find out which ones they are and which plan suits you the best by going to homeserve.com and find that right plan. Once again, it's homeserve.com it's not available everywhere, so see if you're eligible. Most plans, like I said, 499 to 1199amonth for that first year terms of plan coverage, repairs. Get all the [e-mail] we are coming back. We have Christy Lee at the news desk. A lot of interesting things going on out there, including in the world of sports. We have lobsters in the news.

[A]

Everybody get out. There's a lobster loose.

[D]

We have circumcision in the news. Lobster claws not involved.

[C]

Oh, I was hoping that was the same.

[D]

Oh, yeah, wouldn't that be great? And of course, there's lots of lists to begin the year that they know. Oh, hey, this is what happened in 2025. We have the list of the most puzzling foreign objects found in human rectums. My emergency room offices. I know you've been waiting for it. We'll get to that. Coming up from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[G]

Most people don't realize how much of their personal information is being bought and sold every day. Data brokers are making billions, pulling details about you from public records and the Internet, then packaging and selling it, usually without your consent. That's how your information lands in the hands of scammers, spammers and even stalkers. It's why you get endless robocalls and why ads seem to follow you everywhere. That's where Aura comes in. Aura actively removes your data from broker sites and keeps it off. They also instantly alert you if your information shows up in a breach or on the dark web. But Aura goes beyond data protection. With one app, you get a vpn, antivirus, password manager, spam, call protection, dark web monitoring, and even up to $5 million in identity theft insurance. All backed by 24. 7 US based fraud support. Other companies might sell just credit monitoring or just a vpn. Aura gives you all of it together at the same price competitors charge for just one service. Start your free trial [e-mail] Secure. Protect yourself [e-mail] Secure.

[A]

Welcome back to the Bob and Top Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts People at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee.

[E]

Hi. I'm unwrapping my Christmas present.

[A]

Oh, good. Yeah, they came. They came the same the last Friday we were here. They came that afternoon.

[D]

So these are these beautiful little miniature.

[A]

Guitars, mini guitars from the Rock Roll hall of Fame. There's Pat Godwin.

[F]

Hey, Chick.

[A]

There's Josh Arnold.

[C]

Hi.

[A]

There's Ace Cosby.

[E]

We lost a boat.

[A]

I'm Chick McGee at the Prize pick sports desk. Yeah, I gave Josh on our gift exchange Sound garden.

[C]

Yes, sir.

[A]

Guitar and I gave Ace Kiss guitar and I got Christie. Peter Frampton's Phoenix guitar.

[D]

We talked with Peter Frampton just a couple weeks ago, and he had that guitar. He had the guitar sitting right there.

[A]

Now, from what I understand, she's already broken it.

[C]

Am I supposed to steal that for a while?

[A]

Throw it out into a burning plane and then. Yeah, that's the legend. I gave Pat Clapton's guitar, and Tom got two because he's Tom. A couple of Dwayne Allman's guitars. All right.

[D]

And they're all. Have to open them up. They're under this.

[A]

From what I've heard.

[E]

I haven't even opened yours yet.

[D]

I was doing show prep.

[E]

They say he got his later. He didn't get his the same.

[D]

They just got here a minute ago.

[A]

No, I gave him one. No, I gave him him the same way. Are we still on today? Anyway.

[D]

Well, thank you.

[A]

You're welcome. I know he's not gonna thank you. He won't unwrap him. I won't. Keep an eye on that over there, Josh.

[D]

I'll unwrap them in a minute. I got things to do now. We have to get to some letters this. This morning. And we've been on vacation.

[A]

We're all back, we're all ready to go.

[D]

And both Pat and Christy just stayed home.

[F]

Yeah, it was nice.

[A]

I just stayed home.

[D]

Ace, you go anywhere?

[A]

No.

[D]

Well, Josh, just me and you. The Lewis and Clark.

[E]

Where'd you go, Josh? St. Louis.

[D]

Yes.

[E]

Nice.

[C]

Yeah, I had a terrific family.

[A]

Weren't you on stage somewhere? Yeah. Did I see that?

[C]

Oh, I don't know. Were there pictures?

[A]

Yeah. At the Bone.

[C]

What is it?

[A]

The bone. You were at the Bone?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Greg, Nikki and I went to the St. Louis Funny Bone Open Bike and gave everybody there a treat.

[E]

Wow.

[C]

I was brought on stage as quote, another comedy legend is here tonight.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

That'S great.

[C]

Proceeded to go up and do a bunch of new stuff that was hit and miss.

[A]

That's all right.

[C]

Exactly.

[D]

Did Nikki Glaser do new stuff too? Was she.

[C]

She did her Golden Globes set.

[D]

Oh, okay, cool.

[C]

And I can give you. There's no way she's not going to kill. It's. Yeah.

[E]

Great.

[D]

Well, that's cool.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Now let's see. Oh, we have big news coming out of the state of Missouri today.

[A]

It's in sports. I still don't understand. I don't know how they let it happen, but we'll talk about it. Here's a letter from a listener. Dear Bob and Tom show, the quarterback for Navy's last name is Horvath.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[D]

I had a buddy named.

[A]

Thanks to you guys. Talking about a Horvath.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Multiple times on the show. Every night. Every time they say his name. I heard Horbath. Love the show. Thanks a lot, Tom. Dear Bob and Tom show chick, I'm pissed at you. Well, all right. Get in line. You neglected your duties and let down an entire audience. It says Tom's sister was on the phone. One of our surprise special holiday guests. We had Tom and Tom's sister and her boyfriend Andy.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Huh.

[A]

He was my boyfriend. Tom's sister was on the phone. You did not ask about Tom's childhood maid? I believe the, the stout German woman whose name I can't remember right now. Of course it's Paula. Please check. Try to focus on your job. We expect better from you moving forward. That's from Jimmy and Valpo.

[D]

I think Paula may have been born in the. The 1800s. I have to double check.

[C]

Man, that's amazing.

[A]

She was a stout German woman.

[D]

She was. Yeah. She was quite old when I was little, so.

[A]

And you. And you're old now, so.

[D]

Yeah. Boy, if she's alive, that's, that's, that's a medical miracle.

[A]

When she was. If she's alive now, she looked 80 at 19. Like that. Right.

[D]

Is there anyone alive now that was born in the 1800s?

[C]

I. I can't imagine.

[D]

You have to be 127.

[A]

Yeah, I think the last person died not that long ago.

[C]

Maybe in some small Japanese village or whatever. Well, that's where they.

[D]

It's not Hiroshima.

[C]

Oh. That's why I went with Small.

[D]

Why, he was a voyage, not rebuilding Metropolis. Miss me, didn't you?

[A]

Not only that, but our listeners missed you. Dear Bob, a top show. Welcome back. It's been a long two weeks. I hope you had a great time shushing around Vale. Tom, the only thing I wanted for Christmas was Rossignol leather boots.

[C]

Oh.

[E]

Like Tom wears.

[A]

But because you keep running your trap about them on your show, they're sold out across the free world. Yeah, I got Weathertech floor mats. Not that that's not a fine product. I love those. Wonderful.

[C]

Those are great.

[A]

But thanks a lot, Tom. All good. Happy New Year. Hope to see you in Toledo soon.

[D]

Did not do a lot of shushing. That's from Greg at Vail.

[A]

Yeah, I heard you talking.

[E]

No snow.

[A]

Because I know better than to ask you questions. Yeah, evidently. Well, bad snow and not a lot of runs open.

[D]

Put it this way, the. The skiing was terrible, but at least the lines were long. Yeah, it was. I. Barely any of it was open. It was.

[E]

I'm sorry.

[D]

Awful. So. But if you want to duplicate this, even if you're not a skier, I can explain how to do it.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Here's what you do. Christy.

[E]

Yep.

[D]

It's very important that you do this exactly as I tell you.

[E]

Okay. I'm writing it down.

[D]

Take your entire vacation budget, and then you borrow the same amount, so you've got double. And then you have it all in the form of cash. Cash.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Now, then, you're going to need some lighter fluid. Wait a minute. Hear me out of this.

[H]

Okay.

[D]

And a nice, safe place to do this. And a shredder.

[E]

No.

[D]

Take all your money. You shred it, spray it with lighter fluid, and then ignite it, and then inhale the fumes. There's your.

[E]

There's your vacation.

[D]

There's your vacation.

[A]

No, well, there wouldn't be any snow.

[D]

Right.

[A]

Because there were bad snow.

[D]

Very little. Very little.

[E]

The last verified person.

[D]

Crowded.

[E]

Oh, was it really? Well, they don't have all the runs open. Then it's, you know, you're gonna have a lot of lines, I guess.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

So, yeah, we had friends that were in Park City.

[D]

In Utah?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

No, Park City in Southern California.

[E]

But she said they had snow one day, and then the next day. Day it was windy and rainy at the top of the mountain, so it was all ice when she got up there. And it took two and a half hours for her to get down one run because she was. It was so horrif. Horrifying.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

We had a good time anyway, though.

[E]

Well, that's Good you had the family. That's what matters, right? Yeah. Family, family.

[D]

Learn some new new card game.

[E]

Oh, what, What'd you learn? Euchre.

[C]

Go fish.

[A]

I if he says five card stud, I'm leaving.

[D]

King's corner or something.

[E]

I don't know that one.

[A]

Who?

[D]

Yeah, I I I don't. I'm terrible at cards anyways.

[A]

King's corner.

[D]

Yeah, something like that.

[E]

Did you enjoy it?

[D]

Yeah, it's fun.

[E]

Good.

[A]

You played cards.

[D]

When you're playing with a nine year old that cheats.

[F]

Oh, yeah. That's tough.

[A]

Yeah, well, you can tell them stuff now. Go ahead, bet at all. That's what I Mr. Vegas. That's what I do.

[E]

All right. The last verified person born in the 1800s was Emma Morano, an Italian woman who died in April of 2017 at the age of 170. 17, wow.

[C]

It's a good run.

[A]

That is one dry mess, isn't it, huh?

[E]

She looks like a man.

[D]

Okay, here's something really random.

[A]

Oh, good.

[D]

And I don't know anything. I was walking by a television set while on vacation.

[A]

I'll try to.

[D]

I don't know what show this was. It was some news show.

[E]

All right.

[A]

And Darius, Anything better than you? Just naturally, it's you with very little information.

[D]

Darius Rucker.

[E]

Sure.

[D]

I'm a huge fan.

[E]

Right.

[D]

Lead singer of Hootie and the Blowfish. Also, he's got a bunch of great country songs.

[C]

He and Kevin Reaver were a duo for a while.

[D]

Rucker and Reaver. So it was.

[A]

There's Darius Rucker at a club in Chinatown. Didn't they? I thought maybe.

[D]

And I don't know anything about this, except it was Darius Rucker and it looked like he was doing a solo gig at an airport or something.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that's what he's doing now. Yeah.

[E]

No, he did. He pulled out his guitar, some busking.

[A]

Right?

[E]

Yeah. And he was entertaining.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

But did you see this?

[E]

I did see it.

[D]

Did you see what he was wearing?

[E]

I didn't pay attention. What was he?

[D]

He was wearing a Dick the Bruiser T shirt.

[C]

Nice.

[E]

Oh, I didn't notice that.

[D]

Dick the Bruiser. A friend of the show, the late Dick the Bruiser. Been in here as many times.

[C]

You guys had Dick the Bruiser in here?

[A]

Absolutely.

[E]

He lived, right? What? He didn't live very far.

[D]

But I couldn't believe that.

[A]

I can't it a lot, Josh.

[C]

So I don't know.

[D]

What, like a lot? I'm not sure what Darius was doing, but I just read his Book a few months ago. It's pretty good. He's got interesting. Very interesting guy, but a very cool guy if he's got a dick. So I know I went online to see if I can get myself a dick.

[A]

You know, if you're talking about someone called Dick the Bruiser and you just say, got a dick? You probably shouldn't cut that.

[D]

If you're not familiar with Mr. Bruiser, one of the legends of. Legends of Wrestling in the. In the 50s and 60s and 70s.

[C]

Talk about him all the time.

[A]

Letter over there, pal.

[D]

Let's see. Has Pat written the Josh Arnold Hobo song? I don't know.

[C]

Yeah, we've done a couple, haven't we?

[F]

We've done a couple versions of it, yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

And then. I don't know why this. All these letters about hobos. They must have played the Hobo segment while we were gone. Iowa hosts the Hobo convention in Brit, Iowa every year in August.

[C]

We actually had a story about. We did a story about it.

[D]

And hobos are.

[C]

By choice, wanderers, Vagabonds.

[A]

And they're not homeless.

[C]

Yeah, no, they're just out on the.

[A]

They don't have a house or something.

[C]

Oh, right.

[E]

The.

[C]

The Unhoused.

[A]

The Unhoused, yes. That awful movie that Josh loved.

[C]

I did love that. Nomadland.

[A]

Yeah. Francis McDonald.

[D]

Oh, it's great.

[E]

Any movies over the holiday?

[D]

No, but I watched a show that. Well, I mean, I'm glad you brought this up, because I wanted to ask. Chick, did you watch Landman at all?

[A]

I haven't. They're all. Are they all down or.

[E]

I haven't.

[F]

They're all out now.

[A]

They're all out now. I started.

[D]

I watched the first season.

[A]

Oh, first season. Okay.

[D]

The reason I'm bringing this up is there is a cameo appearance by one of your favorites, Jerry Jones of the Dallas Cowboys.

[A]

Oh, he's. And is he amazing?

[D]

He is wonderful.

[A]

He can. He acted. The pants. Yeah. I mean, out of that. I was unbelievable.

[D]

I didn't know it was coming.

[A]

I get chills thinking about.

[D]

I didn't know. I did not know it was coming. There's a scene in which Jerry Jones was playing Jerry Jones, and I did not know this was gonna happen. And then at first I thought, is that. Wait, that really is Jerry Jones? And he's great.

[A]

He's amazing himself.

[F]

No, but, I mean, it's shockingly good, though.

[D]

I agree. Usually people, when they play themselves. Ever seen, like, Pride of the Yankees and Babe Ruth is as stiff as Canoe Paddle? Yeah, Jerry Jones was great in that is fine.

[C]

And.

[A]

Pride of the Yankees. Give me the ball. Give me the ball, boy. Or something. Whatever he says.

[D]

And is that Jerry Jones? I assume that's his real life story, right?

[A]

I would imagine. Don't forget, I. I still hate all things Cowboys.

[D]

Okay. Jerry was.

[A]

He was great, but he was great on that show.

[D]

Terrific. And quite the mooc. That's a very unusual show. I'm a huge Billy Bob Thornton fan. Boy, can he smoke a cigarette?

[E]

Yeah, he can.

[D]

Well, that guy, you can just tell. He probably. I could just see him going, can we do another take? I want to light up another Marlboro Red. He's really. He's really enjoying him. Well, coming up in sports, what have you got over there?

[A]

The NFC. The NFL playoff picture is all set. Steelers, 1 1. The north last night beating the Ravens 26, 24 because the Ravens missed a field goal with time expired. The Las Vegas Raiders are on the clock for the NFL draft. They'll have the first pick coming up in April. And the Kansas City Chiefs.

[D]

Does that mean what I think it means?

[A]

What they want. They want Mendoza. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. If I was, I'd pull an Elway. If I was Mendoza, I'm like, I'm not going to the Raiders or the Jets. Go ahead. Thanks.

[E]

Can you play another year of college?

[D]

He'd probably make more money.

[A]

I don't think he came with two years at Cal, and I don't think he has any eligibility. Kansas City Chiefs are leaving Missouri.

[E]

What?

[A]

They're going to Kansas. Across the river. They done deal.

[D]

And I. Josh, no offense, but I had to do a little homework.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

I had no idea that Kansas City, Missouri was the bigger of the two.

[A]

Oh, like.

[D]

No, it's by leaps and bounds.

[A]

You didn't know Kansas City, Missouri was bigger than Kansas City, Kansas.

[D]

And I didn't really know that Kansas City Chiefs were in Missouri. I never thought about it much.

[C]

Oh, gotcha.

[D]

They were in Kansas with Kansas City.

[E]

You've been there.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So what?

[D]

I wasn't paying attention.

[I]

So what?

[D]

He says.

[A]

You know, more things change.

[F]

You've been there so long.

[A]

More they stay the same.

[F]

People are listening.

[A]

Can we talk about the new refrigerator when we come back?

[D]

Sure we can.

[A]

I can't wait to go take another look at her.

[D]

Have you. Have you seen.

[A]

Spend Some time?

[C]

It looks like a demo fridge the.

[A]

Way it's all amazing.

[D]

Have you seen Ms. Hooker yet today?

[A]

I have not.

[D]

It looks like she. Remember that movie Love story with Ally McGraw and Ryan O'? Neill?

[A]

McGraw, yeah. Go ahead.

[D]

She looks like she walked out. She's all preppied up. Looks great. She looks so sweet and happy. It's great.

[A]

What the hell's she doing here? Hell of a disguise.

[D]

This portion of the Bob and Tom show is brought to you by our buddies at Java House.

[A]

Java House.

[D]

The heart of every business, of course, is the break room. We have got a new refrigerator in our break room inside that. And it's designed by. Intelligently designed. So the refrigerator part's on top, and the lesser used freezer is on the bottom. And inside that refrigerator is, of course, delightful real American cream to put in.

[E]

Your Java House coffee.

[A]

That's right.

[D]

For Java. Actually, in this case, this is Java House tea. A little bit of cream in your tea. Very good.

[C]

Very interesting.

[D]

You know what I'm talking about.

[A]

Whiskey in your water, sugar in your tea.

[D]

Keeping everybody happy in this office. You can imagine the difficulties here. We have all kinds of stuff there, thanks to Java House. We've got your coffees and we've got your tea, and Java House has a bunch of great stuff for your office. Help me with this, Christy. What else can people do with their office with Java House?

[E]

Well, of course you can get a peel and podcast of the energy drink which we love so much. We also have the hydration drinks that the Arctic Freeze and the orange that I love. And the lattes.

[C]

Wait a minute.

[E]

What did you get? More Arctic Freeze?

[D]

No, someone stole my last one. Look, I'm shaking the box.

[E]

I didn't do it. And it's hot cocoa time. So don't forget that great Java House hot cocoa. And if we talked about how they make great espresso martinis. Oh, we probably shouldn't talk about that at work, should we?

[D]

One of the great things you can do with your Java House, you take the. You peel in a pod. We learned this one. You pour it over ice cream. Delightful.

[E]

Aha. Java House dot com. All your break room needs in a whole variety of easy peel and pour pods. Coffees, teas, fancy coffees, lattes, espressos, and more. Go ahead, Tom, tell them about it.

[D]

Well, the thing about Java House is you don't need a machine. You just take the little pod, peel it off, and add the hot water, cold water, ice, whatever you want to do. And I was hoping to drink some more liquid science, which I do. I. I do one of these every morning with electrolytes and vitamins. It's delightful. But I literally. I'm not joking. My box was emptied while I was gone. Someone's been Sneaking around here.

[E]

Shop@java house.com the official beverage service of the Bob and Tom Show.

[D]

Thank you very much. In the news, circumcision's gone wrong.

[A]

I got circumcised. Josh. I couldn't walk for three years. I got circumcised as a baby. See, I don't know who this comic is, but I love him.

[C]

I pay big money.

[A]

Big money special.

[D]

We will return with Refrigerator Talk. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[J]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom Show. Sponsored in part by Java House, the official coffee and refreshments of the Bob and Tom Show.

[I]

Most people don't realize how much of their personal information is being bought and sold every day. Data brokers are making billions pulling details about you from public records and the Internet, then packaging and selling it, usually without your consent. That's how your information lands in the hands of scammers, spammers, even stalkers. It's why you get endless robocalls and why ads seem to follow you everywhere. That's where Aura comes in. Aura actively removes your data from broker sites and keeps it off. They also instantly alert you if your information shows up in a breach or on the dark web. But Aura goes beyond data protection. With one app, you get a vpn, antivirus, password manager, spam call protection, dark web monitoring, and even up to $5 million in identity. The insurance, all backed by 247 US based fraud support. Other companies might sell just credit monitoring or just a vpn. Aura gives you all of it together at the same price competitors charge for just one service. Start your free trial [e-mail] Secure. Protect yourself [e-mail] Secure.

[A]

Just a quick tip for you young broadcasters out there. Be careful what you choose to eat during a commercial break. Peppermint. Peppermint. No, peanut butter chick. Okay. Peanut butter.

[D]

I can see why you make that mistake. They taste so similar. My new peanut butter mouth.

[A]

Never effing mind. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[C]

Hi.

[A]

She's at the SILAC Insurance news desk. There's Pat Godwin.

[C]

Hello.

[A]

There's Josh Arnold.

[C]

I ate so much garbage over there.

[A]

Oh, me too.

[E]

So did I. That's what it's about, Josh.

[C]

I mean, come on.

[A]

So good.

[C]

It was insane.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Comfort food. It was all one morning.

[C]

I had a cookie dough waffle.

[E]

You took cookie dough and made a waffle out of it.

[C]

It was a waffle.

[A]

It Was so good with like balled.

[C]

Up cookie dough just dropped all over it and chocolate syrup all over. Like, what the hell am I doing? I'm. If, If a baby had money.

[D]

I do.

[A]

I, I noticed I eat like a.

[C]

Toddler, more or less every now and then.

[D]

Yeah. But there's something about being on vacation. I tried something new that I. I guess everybody else has tried baba ganoush.

[C]

Oh, I've never had it. Yeah. How was it?

[D]

It was great.

[C]

What is it exactly?

[D]

It was like, I don't know, it was kind of like a hump flavored hummus with pita bread. And it was so good. I got another one.

[A]

They always ask.

[E]

I think it's eggplant.

[F]

It's like an eggplant.

[D]

What it is.

[A]

But when I order my heroes, they always ask me if I want baba ganoush.

[D]

And I say, but isn't baba ganoush the name of some Catskills? Isn't that a little joke?

[C]

It seems like it would absolutely be.

[D]

Hey, I'm opening for baba ganoush now. Before we move on, I've got a. I have never heard of this thing Pat Godwin talked about on New Year's Eve. What is this again?

[F]

Before New Year's like five of my grandmother would send me out because I was the only dark haired person in our family. And I'd go and hang out at my grandmother's all night and I would put, I put pennies on her windowsill. And when after like 1201, 1202, after the ball dropped, whatever the countdown, I would then come in and she would greet me. Irish people would greet me with a shot and even. And as a kid. Yeah.

[C]

So this is a, an Irish tradition. You send the darkest haired person out?

[F]

Yes.

[E]

Where did the pennies come in?

[F]

I have no idea. I guess for prosperity maybe, you know.

[D]

But they're giving kids a shot.

[F]

Well, I mean, if you're in your teens, you would get a shot or I think it was a glass of wine.

[A]

The only sherry or something like this I've heard of is the cabbage and the corned beef. Oh, yeah. And you put a dime in it. And if you get the portion that has the dime in it and you don't swallow it and die.

[F]

That makes sense.

[D]

Break your tooth.

[A]

It's good luck for the coming year.

[C]

Wow.

[D]

News to me.

[C]

Have any New Year Eve's New Year's Eve traditions besides that?

[E]

No, sorry.

[C]

My dad and I used to do, we would have pickled herring.

[H]

Really?

[C]

Yeah. Every New Year's Eve and he. I was the only one brave enough to eat it with him.

[E]

Huh. And do you like it?

[C]

I do like it, yes.

[F]

Is that something his mom and dad started?

[C]

I don't know.

[D]

That was their cookie dough sprinkled on top.

[J]

No.

[C]

No. That may have been the healthiest thing I've had in the last month.

[A]

You know, I don't remember which wife it was, but one of the mother in laws had pickled herring all the time at the holidays. Yeah, it just laid out and it was. Smelled bad. It was just laid out like a. Yeah, like not your.

[D]

Not your mother in law.

[A]

Yeah, like. Like a charcuterie board.

[E]

So did you do that this year? Did you continue. Have you continued his tradition?

[C]

I saw it in the store and bought it. Yeah. And I hadn't done it for years and I went, oh, my. You know, my dad and I used to do that.

[E]

Nice.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

All right, well, now we have a lot to get to here with Mr. McGee over there.

[A]

Dear Bob and Tom Show. Hey, Josh.

[C]

Hi.

[A]

Did you watch the Hallmark movie Christmas at the Catnip Cafe?

[C]

I did. Really? I did, yeah.

[A]

And did you eat Biscuit and Gravy and watch?

[C]

I did not eat. Well, first off, the way that's written, I didn't eat my cats.

[A]

I'm sorry, hang on a second. I misread this. Did you Biscuit and Gravy watch the Hallmark movie?

[D]

Oh, okay.

[C]

I don't think they watched it per se, but they were there.

[D]

Oh, which one is this one?

[C]

It's new this year. Yeah.

[D]

Does it involve a small town where someone comes back from the big city and someone's about to leave? At the end they're gonna stay home and there's a big party.

[E]

Have you been to one of these cat cafes, Tom?

[D]

No.

[E]

Where they have cats running around?

[A]

Is that what it is? The cat cafe has cats running around?

[E]

There was one in Edinburgh. It was unbelievable.

[D]

Are those legal in the United States?

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, I believe there's one here. Really? So. Yeah, but in most towns, aren't they.

[A]

Worried about the cats stealing people's breaths?

[C]

Well, that's if you fall asleep. And many people aren't falling.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Aren't falling asleep?

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

Did anybody see the Michelle Pfeiffer Dennis Leary Christmas movie?

[E]

I did.

[D]

That is terrible.

[C]

You mean, oh, what fun.

[F]

Is that what it was?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. And it's oh, period. What?

[E]

Couldn't believe where she went on the game show. Was that.

[F]

No.

[E]

Oh, this is a different one then.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[C]

It was. It's heart was in the right place.

[F]

Did you watch the whole thing?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Wasn't she in Scarface?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

How the mighty have fallen.

[E]

What was the one she was in? Where she had the Christmas movie. Oh, what fun. Maybe that is it. I thought she went on a game show.

[F]

Well, I only watched half of it, so maybe that happened in the second half.

[D]

Yeah, I see. Well, let's move forward here.

[A]

One more letter. Hang on. Dear Bob and Tom show. Hi. My dog, Curtis Lowe was so happy bringing this to me over the holidays.

[C]

I love a dog with a first and last name. Who doesn't?

[A]

Curtis.

[D]

After the Skynyrd song.

[A]

Gotta be there. I don't think there's another Curtis Lowe is there. He came to my door and I brought this inside. So I got a quick picture and.

[E]

Aw.

[C]

Oh, geez.

[A]

There he is.

[F]

That's a cycle of life right there.

[D]

That's a whole dead squirrel, isn't it?

[A]

That's a whole one.

[C]

Do we know if it's dead? Does the letter say?

[D]

Oh, yeah. It had to be dead.

[A]

He is dead. Yes, Squirrel was. The squirrel had. Was de lifed.

[C]

Yeah. There's some rigor in that tail, isn't there?

[D]

Oh, boy.

[A]

Now that you pointed out, there sure is.

[C]

But he's a handsome boy.

[A]

Oh, he's a good boy. He's so. He's so a nice little.

[D]

Little Curtis Low. The dog.

[C]

I brought you something for the holidays.

[A]

He looks like Curtis Lowe, doesn't he?

[D]

Long snout, cute little guy. Dappled. Well, give me the sports preview.

[A]

NFL playoff picture is all set. Steelers make it last night beating the Ravens. Or the Ravens beat themselves. Might miss it. A kick. 44 yard field goal. Time expiring Ravens abyss. Steelers advance. A lot of surprises in the NFL playoffs. No Kansas City Chiefs. No. Any more Perennial. It's a whole new world, Josh.

[C]

A whole new world.

[A]

The Raiders are on the clock.

[C]

They're going to have a new fantastic point of view. Oh, sorry.

[A]

They're going to have the first pick in the upcoming NFL draft. Let's see. Falcons, this is Black Monday, you know. Morning, Ace. This is Black Monday and already the Falcons have fired Raheem Morris and Terry Fontenot, their coach and general manager. We'll see who else fired.

[D]

But look at the Colts that announced they are keeping.

[A]

The Colts announced they are keeping Chris Ballard and Shane Steichen. And the Kansas City Chiefs will also announce their movement across the river to. We'll have some grandmother's house. What?

[E]

Across the river, through the woods to grandmother's house.

[A]

I don't know about that. You want to shut the girl up while I'm trying to do stuff over here and we'll have some fun facts about Kansas City, Kansas.

[E]

All right.

[D]

All right.

[A]

They call it the Paris of the planes, you know. Yes, they do.

[D]

I was not aware of that.

[A]

I, I never have referred to it that way, but that's.

[E]

Do they have an Eiffel Tower?

[A]

That's what my. It's. There's a reason it says. That's what my buddy Google says. Oh, good.

[D]

We'll find out Paris of the plane. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[J]

More of the show is on the way. You can find us on X at Bob and Tom or you can email us at Bob and Tom at Bob and tom dot com.

[D]

Get ready for the Rush with Max Crosby. It's time. Don't miss the behind the scenes moments.

[A]

Everyone'S talking about, regardless of what they say. I'll take the fine. I don't care.

[D]

All pro defensive end Max Crosby takes you beyond the field with exclusive insights.

[A]

I could say this because I've played them.

[D]

This is the Rush.

[A]

You guys already know what time it is. It was fire.

[D]

And we'll be right back on the pod and we'll be talking about it next week. The Rush with the Max Crosby Follow. And listen on your favorite platform.

[A]

I can't stand it. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Yeah, I know it's a long show.

[D]

She's full of nothing. I got it right there.

[A]

O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[E]

Hi.

[A]

She's at the Silac Insurance news desk. There's Pat Godwin.

[C]

Hello.

[A]

There's Jess Hooker.

[H]

Hello.

[A]

There's Josh Arnold.

[C]

Hi.

[A]

He's at the I hate Steven Singer, sidekick, chairman. There's Ace Cosby. Hello. I'm Chick McGee at the Prize pick sports desk. Hello, Tom. How are you, buddy?

[D]

I've got a really weird letter.

[A]

I'd love to hear it.

[D]

I don't know.

[A]

I'd love you to read something word for word instead of going off script.

[D]

Dear Bob and Tom Show. Yeah, I have found a gem. An old comedy show with Timothy Spall, Tim Healy and Kevin Whatley.

[C]

Okay. A lot of British guys.

[D]

It's from 1983. It's called Alf Wietersehen Pett. I don't know what the.

[C]

All right.

[D]

It's a group of Brits that go to work for a construction company in Germany.

[C]

Cool.

[D]

The payroll is brought to the site by a company man known as Herr Pfister in German Translated translates to Mr. Pfister, Mr. Fister.

[A]

Mr. Fister.

[C]

How about that?

[D]

I kept waiting for the groan when they called him Mr. Pfister. Well, thank you, Mr. Johnson, for taking the time and trouble to write. Now I look up across the way and I see Ally McGraw from the movie Love Story has walked into.

[A]

I get more of a Harry Potter vibe offer because if you know any thing about Harry Potter, the. The colors are like Washington football team.

[H]

Is that what it is? Yeah.

[A]

Maroon and gold.

[D]

Just Hooker has a.

[F]

Like a.

[A]

And he's.

[D]

Layers of clothing.

[H]

I took my jacket off and then I looked through the window and I saw Christy and I had the same shirt on.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[H]

So I just kept my. I just kept my.

[D]

You didn't opt to take the shirt off.

[A]

Get it, Judge Boobs.

[C]

Please, please don't drag me into your sophomore fil.

[A]

I do love guys trying to be funny and say get it all the time. I do. I do like that.

[D]

You look very nice. Are those new glasses?

[H]

They are new glasses, yeah.

[D]

Cool.

[H]

Yeah, I've been wearing the big frames and I switched, so.

[A]

Ah.

[C]

Do you like them?

[H]

I like them. Yeah. Different.

[C]

Nice. Yeah.

[D]

Those look very studious.

[C]

When you wear glasses ever. And this is for everybody in the room. Do you want to see the glasses or do you prefer to not?

[E]

You know what I'm saying?

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

The outside of the frame.

[C]

My dad always insisted he got the biggest glasses that you could ever buy because he didn't want to see the frames at all.

[D]

Those Harry Carey things. Wow.

[E]

But after while you don't notice the frame, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

No, it's your brain. Your stupid brain.

[C]

Yeah, man. Brains are dumb.

[D]

Now let's move forward here. We're going to get to the world of sports. What's happening?

[A]

I had another letter.

[E]

Oh.

[A]

Dear Bob at Tom show. Sorry to bother you so soon after vacation. On your last episode last year, Tom plots about why he thinks pancakes are superior to waffles. Clearly you've forgotten that in the Grizz verse, uncooked pasta dough doesn't have a flavor until given a shape. And of course the flavor is specific to the shape given and no two shapes taste the same.

[D]

That's correct. Okay, now that's very scientific and absolutely correct.

[A]

And. But in following along with this, Brian from Delaware says, eggs, flour and milk in a bowl. The bowl contains every possible flavor until poured into respective cooking device, waffle iron or a skillet. A spaghetti noodle tastes different than macaroni. Flapjack tastes different than a waffle yes, Correct. That's.

[C]

I like somebody who goes with flapjack.

[E]

Yeah, I do, too.

[A]

I do. I. Can we bring back flapjack?

[D]

I just might just prefer the taste of pancakes. But I. I understand that the ingredients are the same, but there's a certain something about pancakes.

[A]

Oh, and please let Jess Hooker know that I do know the difference between pancakes and waffles. I'm just doing this because Tom's insane. That's Brian in Delaware. Thank you, Brian, very much.

[D]

I mean, it's Waffle House, not Pancake House.

[A]

Now, the big news here at the.

[E]

They have an international house, but is.

[D]

There an American one? No.

[A]

Big news here at the bottom. Tom show. We got a new refrigerator. And boy, behind the scenes, things are humming.

[C]

Big thumbs up from everybody.

[A]

People are spending time. They're going, hey, where'd you get it? Wow, this is amazing.

[D]

There's a. For a couple of reasons. Well, the number one, the way the refrigerator. It was next to a closet with a pantry closet, and it opened the wrong way.

[C]

Well, I see it. It didn't open the wrong way. It's not. It wasn't the refrigerator's fault there.

[A]

That magnificent bastard is right there.

[H]

And also all refrigerators usually. Well, I thought all refrigerators had the option to change the handle.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

That one didn't.

[H]

So we tried to change the hand. You can't. Yeah.

[D]

But the beauty of this one is the refrigerator parts the top two thirds. The other one that had the freezer on top, which we didn't really have much use for.

[A]

Well, and that was packed.

[C]

It was always.

[A]

That tells you how it is, how old the fruit.

[H]

He just doesn't use it.

[E]

You don't open the fridge.

[C]

Well, modern refrigerators went back to way old school style of having the freezer on the bottom. Yeah.

[D]

Because you use it less the average person. So in any event, it's a big win. Thank you for organized.

[C]

Is that why they're on the bottom? They don't. They didn't put the. They didn't go, hey, you know what? Freezers stay. We use this much less energy when the freezer's on the bottom.

[D]

Because I think it's because people tend to use the. Unless you're at an ice cream store.

[C]

You use the refrigerator because of a less thing.

[H]

Huh.

[E]

I don't know.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Interesting. Yeah. I like it, though.

[H]

Yeah, it was. It was a tough find.

[C]

Well, thanks for doing that.

[H]

Yeah. With Tom's specifications and the size of the spot where it had to go. But we got it.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Thank you very Much for that.

[H]

You're welcome.

[D]

Doing your homework? I hope you have a nice refrigerator at your place too.

[H]

I didn't ask the people that own the building if I could switch out the refrigerator. So wait a minute.

[A]

You mean where's the old. Where's the old refrigerator?

[H]

It's gone. They took it for 45. They'll take the older.

[E]

Worth it.

[C]

That is worth it.

[H]

Yeah. Yeah. So that's what we did.

[A]

We've broken our lease, and I feel.

[H]

Like we're gonna be in trouble. It's on me.

[C]

I just put my old one in my backyard and let the neighbor kids play with it.

[D]

Yeah, but at first you throw in.

[F]

The pile for a week.

[A]

Now, what state do you think has the most refrigerators in garages?

[C]

Oh, gosh, it's gotta be Midwest, probably.

[A]

Yeah, gotta be Midwest.

[E]

But isn't it a garage to put it in or we would have done that.

[A]

You don't have a garage?

[E]

No, we don't hear, oh, yeah, that's true. We couldn't put it in the garage.

[D]

We could put it in the front porch.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

That would have been worth it for one day. Yes, because we have a new. The new. The new general manager walks in. There's a refrigerator in the port.

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't see a lot of carports.

[E]

No, you don't.

[H]

Really.

[C]

That's a brave move.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

The carport fridge.

[H]

Well, we are in the season where you can store food outside right now, so.

[D]

Yeah, that way the coyotes can get.

[E]

Do you have a garage fridge?

[C]

No, no, I don't have the room right now, so I wish I could.

[A]

Yeah, I have a garage fridge. You have a garage fridge?

[E]

I do, but it's in the laundry room, so technically it's not in the garage.

[H]

Well, that's not a mud room fridge.

[D]

But you chick. You live by yourself.

[C]

Yeah, I was gonna say, I'm also one man. I don't require.

[H]

Right.

[E]

You don't.

[A]

Oh, no, There's. There's nothing in the garage fridge, but it's there.

[D]

Is it running?

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

I should take a picture.

[A]

Hello.

[E]

My husband has all the. It looks like a convenience store with the little racks with all the cans that move from. Oh, yeah.

[C]

I love that.

[E]

The kids love it. They call it the convenience store. That's right, the convenience store.

[C]

Do you have one, Tom?

[D]

No.

[A]

I don't see you. I don't see you having a garage for you. I don't see that.

[D]

I kind of do, but it's inside.

[H]

See, it's in a butler's Pantry.

[A]

Yeah, it's for the down. It's for the downstairs health.

[C]

Oh, sure. Yeah.

[D]

I have a second. I have a second.

[A]

The gift shop's not gonna open itself.

[D]

In my old house. I have a garage fridge, but I don't need one. I've got one in the other room. Pretty handy.

[E]

Yeah, it is, Andy.

[D]

There we go. What's coming up in sports now?

[A]

We're back to coming up now. Okay. NFL. NFL Wild card weekend is all set. Some say the greatest weekend in the NFL. I'm not among that number. Kansas City Chiefs are moving to Kansas City, Missouri. The city of Fountains. The city of Fountains and the Paris and the Plains.

[D]

So wait a minute.

[A]

Thanks a lot. Kansas City, Missouri. We're moving.

[D]

So Kansas City, Kansas, is the city of Fountains.

[A]

Kansas City, Kansas. The city of Fountains, Paris of the Plains and the birthplace of innovations like M M's candy and the Happy Meal.

[C]

Oh, who knew?

[H]

Okay.

[A]

While also being a barbecue capital with historic trails starting at landmarks like the World War I Museum and the Country Club Plaza.

[D]

I think a lot of people are going to be shocked that the Kansas City Chiefs weren't playing in Kansas. I didn't know.

[A]

I don't think a lot of people's the word you want, but were you.

[D]

Aware of that, Ms. Hooker? Yeah, I was okay, I guess. Just never interested me very much.

[C]

Boy, when they move that stadium, that's going to be a big tractor trailer.

[E]

Yeah, right. How are they going to do that?

[D]

I heard that. Mahomes, he said, I can't help you move. My knee hurts.

[A]

Here's the thing. Haven't you. Answer this question, yes or no. Don't elaborate. Haven't you been to a Kansas City Chiefs game?

[D]

I have.

[A]

At Arrowhead?

[D]

I have. Yeah.

[A]

Did you think you were in Kansas or pay attention? Didn't pay attention.

[D]

Got in the plane, got in the cab, went to the game, never asked.

[A]

Where I was, no idea.

[D]

Didn't care.

[C]

That's all right. It's so close.

[A]

It's not all right. He's insane, actually.

[C]

What am I talking about? It's as close as St. Louis is to Illinois.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

And you know that's in Missouri, right.

[A]

Nobody thinks St. Louis. But there is a but.

[C]

It isn't called Illinois City. So I guess that is.

[H]

That's true.

[A]

But there is an East St. Louis. Illinois, right? Yes. Yeah. Yes. East or St. Louis? No, no.

[C]

East St. Louis is absolutely in Illinois. So.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What are they doing there in Missouri?

[A]

They do naughty stuff.

[G]

Yeah.

[E]

Why don't they just keep the city in the one state, right.

[A]

They shouldn't be allowed to say Kansas City, Kansas, and have them right next to each other. You don't go to.

[D]

You don't go to Detroit.

[A]

You're not telling me you're a businessman.

[D]

It's Windsor. Other side. You got to give it a different name. You're not.

[A]

You're not telling me that Businesses get Kansas mail all the time. Met from Missouri. You know they do.

[F]

And they got crazy little women there. I don't know if I want to go.

[C]

They sure do.

[A]

Right? I heard you're going to get. You're going to get you one as well.

[F]

I might get me one.

[A]

All right.

[D]

Now, is that song about Miss the Missouri or the Kansas?

[F]

I don't know. Now.

[D]

Confused. You could be looking around the wrong state the whole time. No wonder you're by yourself.

[C]

I know crazy little women here. They're hunting yards that way.

[D]

So how much money is exchanging hands.

[A]

For them to move to Billions. And they are going to have an indoor. An indoor stadium.

[C]

How did Missouri go?

[A]

I don't care for.

[C]

Yeah, we don't. How did they not just try to do their best? I don't know that revenue.

[D]

Yeah, Well, I imagine that the. I don't know the circumstance. Yeah, either do I. I would imagine someone's else is paying for it. That seems to be the NFL way.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I'm a billionaire. Why don't you tax poor people to pay for it? Coming up, we have more Sporting News.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

We have the annual list of things found in human rectums in emergency rooms.

[A]

One of your favorite times.

[D]

What if that'll happen in the new season of the Pit? I love that show.

[A]

It starts like this week.

[D]

Yeah. Season two is about to start.

[A]

Really?

[D]

Yeah. Have you seen it, Pat?

[F]

Oh, yeah, I loved it.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah. I just love that show. Now, also coming up, Christy, what do you give me a little teaser over there?

[E]

Also, we have. Listening to your favorite music is akin to having sex, according to this story.

[D]

Really?

[A]

Either really great music or really, really rotten sex.

[E]

One of the two, right.

[D]

I. I encountered one of the things. I was on a ski trip, and they have. They have these. I don't know why. At the base of the mountain at the Juan Godo, they have this dj.

[H]

Oh, really? Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

He's incredibly punchable.

[D]

Yeah, it's the typical DJ where they're standing there with a computer throwing their arm up like this the whole time, you know, pretending to touch buttons and adjust stuff.

[C]

They are.

[D]

They played a version of Dolly of Dolly Parton. Nine to five, with a really heavy bass track added to it.

[C]

Nice.

[D]

I'm not kidding. I recorded it saying the old Chick McGee line. I'm surprised they're playing this here. I thought it was playing in hell. I'm spending all of my vacation money. There's no snow, there are too many people, everyone's pissed off, and now I've got this douchebag playing Dolly Parton with too much bass.

[C]

I'm not a big proponent of, like, Schadenfreude, but the more I hear about his vacation, the happier I'm becoming.

[A]

I can't imagine. Did your kids want you to make more snow.

[E]

Daddy?

[F]

They have a good time, the kids.

[D]

We had a great time. We were, but we didn't. We. My one daughter maybe skied three hours. I mean, for. In a whole week.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, you go on a ski trip, you want more.

[H]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. It was off. Like I said, the skiing was awful. The skiing was terrible, but at least the lines were long.

[E]

And you had a dj. I mean, if the one place you go to ski to get away, to enjoy the nature and the quiet. Yeah, what the hell?

[C]

I don't know. To me, that's on brand. No douchebags that go to ski resorts. Wispy goatees, and they're freezing their ass.

[A]

Cigarette holders.

[D]

As the two lines converge to get in the chairlift, I look up and see Josh and go, go. He can go by himself.

[A]

Oh, he wouldn't get on with it. Wouldn't get on the ski lift with you.

[C]

It's not reinforced enough is what he's saying.

[D]

He probably would have been. You probably would have been a snowboarder.

[C]

No, a slatter. I'm. I'm every bit of sledder.

[F]

Lounge bar.

[A]

Want to go to commercial there, Clowney?

[D]

Yeah. Ask me about snowboarding and how much I hate them. Yeah. Right now, thanks to HomeServe for sponsoring the Bob and Tom Show. You protect your health. You've got insurance. You got car insurance. Maybe you've got insurance on your dog. I recommend that. Or on your phone. What about your house? You may have some kinds of home insurance, but doesn't cover a lot of the important little stuff like the plumbing failures, maybe an H VAC breakdown, electrical systems going out on you, and you've got. I know. I've had the experience of getting a phone call here at work while on the radio going, there's three inches of water in your basement and it's still going up. That was two houses ago, but I've been there and sometimes you really need to act fast. This is where HomeServe comes in. For as little as $4.99 a month, they've got your back. Repairs, like I said, can hit fast of all kinds. And what HomeServe can do for you, it's. Well, it's a 24. 7 hotline. So you can start that repair process. So when you get that surprise septic leak or something else going wrong, you can get a call and get some action. Have something happen real quick for you. So protect your home systems in your wallet. With HomeServe. It will cover. Well, there's a bunch of different plans. They start, like I said, at $4.99 a month and just go to homeserve.com and find the plan that's right for you. That's homeserve.com it's not available everywhere. See if it's available where you live. Most plans range from 4.99to $11.99 a month. For that first year, terms apply and what is covered. Find out all the details. See which one suits you homeserve.com where you can get all the details. We have coming up, more news from the world of sports. We have a little surprise on one of those automatic Waymo cars. Kind of a. Kind of a shot.

[E]

Not a baby this time.

[D]

Yeah, you'll see what it was. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Don't have anything to say. You caught us. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[E]

Hello.

[A]

At the Silac insurance news desk, there's Pat Godwin.

[F]

Hey, Chick.

[A]

There's Jess Hooker.

[G]

Hi.

[A]

Who bought our new refrigerator. We're eternally grateful. It's amazing. From the. It's called manufactures a summit.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, near as I can tell, that's.

[C]

Your top of the. The heap there.

[A]

Yeah. Workhorse of the industry.

[C]

You're paramount.

[D]

The peak. The top. The apex. Okay, keep going.

[A]

The nipple of. He's at the I hate Steven Singer's sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby. Ace has his abducted beard look. Tom would say, I think it looks great. I think it looks great too.

[D]

We need to hold it up. A newspaper for proof of Life.

[A]

I'm Chick McGee, prize pick.

[D]

It's not your look, Ace. Trust me. No, it'll be. Everyone's afraid of you except for me.

[C]

No. Oh, my God. That was. That was as fascinating a glimpse of.

[F]

That man Psychologist microscope into his brain.

[A]

Man the projection, he really believes that.

[D]

Anyway, Ace, with that look, it looks like you should be doing this.

[H]

Okay.

[C]

I don't think we're now to play that until after.

[D]

Oh, sorry.

[F]

Yeah, that's.

[C]

Sorry.

[A]

Aaron Rodgers and the Pittsburgh Steelers sent Lamar Jackson the Ravens home for the playoffs. The Panthers, at 8 and 9, are NFC south champions. Don't ask me. And for the. The Broncos, AFC's number one seed. And in the NFC, it's the Seattle Seahawks. Steelers won last night, 26, 24. Tyler Loop of the Ravens missed a 44. 44 yard field goal wide. Boy, that was a bad song. How was that popular?

[E]

Simpler time back, you know, that was.

[A]

They. That was from. I don't know if they got a song from Alleyhoop, but they. That was a play in the NFL, I think. Yeah. Ya Tittle would.

[D]

That's his name, by the way.

[A]

Mr. Giants and Ya Ya Tittle Yelbert.

[D]

One of the most famous photographs in the history of the NFL is YA Tittle on his knees, bleeding bald head, bloodstream. Neil Brenner.

[C]

Look, nobody likes a bloody tittle.

[D]

Oh, I bet there are people who do that.

[A]

You call it the.

[C]

Did you run a marathon?

[A]

You'd call it the corner fade. Now, was I. Was I talking?

[D]

Yes, it was.

[C]

And then basketball went. Hey, we want that alley.

[A]

Yeah, they use the alley. Anyway. Where am I? Oh, the Raiders are on the clock. They get the first pick in the NL and they are looking at. They are looking at Heisman Doza as their quarterback.

[E]

Why wouldn't they?

[A]

Or may. Well, they could always continue the live Geno Smith, but who knows? I, you know, I don't know what's going on there. The Giants defeated Cowboys 34, 7 yet 17 yesterday, ensuring the Raiders have the worst record at 2. And what was it? 3 and 14. 2 and 15.

[C]

They won yesterday.

[A]

Okay, they're 3 and 14. The Falcons have fired Raheem Morris and general manager Terry Fontenot as Black Monday begins. More coaches certainly on the way. So, Saturday wild card weekend. Rams at the Panthers, packers at the Bears, eight o'. Clock. Yeah. Stinks on ice, man.

[C]

I kind of like it.

[B]

Really funny papers we all know.

[A]

I like that guy. You should sing a real song.

[D]

I hear that he lives way back.

[A]

A long time ago.

[D]

That was a what, a cartoon about cavemen or something?

[A]

Yeah. You know how funny that can be?

[D]

And D.C. did all right. It's. It's the Hollywood Argyles, Johnny Hart. Argyle's a type of sock, isn't it?

[E]

Or a sweater.

[H]

It's a pattern Pattern.

[A]

Yeah, okay. Necessarily. A sock sweater.

[E]

Right.

[D]

I'm asking. I don't know. I don't know what Argyle.

[H]

We know.

[A]

Insist on talking about things you don't know about. Where was I? Packers at the Bears Saturday night, Bills at the Jags, Niners at the Eagles. Chargers at the Patriots on Sunday. And then Monday night. Monday night, Texans at the Steelers. I'll have definite thoughts about that stuff. All that stuff. Coming up on Thursday. The Kansas City Chiefs have announced that the team will leave Arrowhead Stadium. They are going across the river to Kansas City, Kansas. A new dome stadium is going to be built across the Kansas Missouri border. The Chiefs intend their $3 billion stadium project to be built in Kansas City, Kansas, near the Kansas Speedway, the retail district in Kansas known as the Legends. What? And you wrote it. Ding a lane. No, I.

[D]

But I Honestly, I did not know.

[A]

That Kansas is the Paris.

[D]

I know nothing about Kansas City.

[E]

Well, why.

[C]

You should spend a little time there. It's good.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

They have great barbecue, right?

[C]

Killer.

[D]

Yeah, but I mean, which one?

[C]

Well, it's the.

[D]

Is the barbecue. Is the barbecue in Kansas City, Kansas, better than in.

[E]

That.

[D]

In Missouri?

[E]

Is it different?

[C]

Oh, I see what you're saying.

[A]

Kansas City barbecue.

[C]

Yes. I think my. I think, technically, my favorite barbecue restaurant in Kansas City is on the Kansas side.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

But there's. Yeah.

[D]

So is there a rivalry there?

[C]

Oh, you mean Kansas City, Kansas and Cam. KU and Mizzou. They. That's a big rivalry. But Mizzou's not in Kansas City.

[D]

Is there a difference? Like in retail sales tax or property taxes? Is there a.

[C]

Probably there must be.

[D]

Okay, well, so long, Chiefs.

[E]

Well, just going across the bridge. So, like.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Changing the name and moving out there.

[D]

Is just some old.

[E]

I guess they are moving out of state.

[C]

They're not my team anymore.

[D]

They're probably naming the stadium after that whore Taylor's left. I tell you what, she ruined the team. Oh, sir.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

That man, he's all his se. Going on and masculinity. All what?

[C]

Sir, we need you to leave this library.

[A]

I don't know the fairies. Here's the thing.

[D]

See, I know what happened.

[A]

Obviously, in retrospect, I should have interrupted it right now. I know that, but I don't know what I.

[C]

Now, I'm sure you're familiar with Kansas City. As mentioned in blazing.

[E]

The first thing I saw.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right.

[C]

Do you think they just picked a city out of a hat? It's perfect because there wasn't. I don't think that's a thing. Like it wasn't a saying.

[A]

No, no, of course not until they made it a saying.

[C]

Right, right.

[A]

That Sudeika says one of the horrible bosses. That's not in a movie. It is now.

[C]

Or something like that.

[A]

Now, sports for Tom only. That's what I've decided. New Year. That's what I'm going to refer to these okay. Half ass stories. Tom from Sports. From Tom's eyes. Brazilian fashion model Giselle Bunchen. You remember Jizzy?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Has married Jiu Jitsu instructor Joaquim Valente.

[E]

Wow.

[C]

I, I, I don't. This is something I don't care about at all.

[A]

But I am.

[D]

See, that's the key here.

[C]

For some reason, this strikes me as too soon entered my mind.

[E]

They have a kid.

[H]

They've been together.

[C]

Yeah, see, that's the thing. I pay so little attention to me. She and Tom broke up last week.

[A]

Right?

[E]

How many years?

[A]

The couple's married on December 3rd during a small ceremony at their home. It comes a little after over three years after Jizzy and Tom were divorced following 13 years of marriage. They were together 13 years.

[C]

All right, well, they. Fine.

[D]

Hey, you know, and I know that Tom Brady's kids really like this guy.

[C]

Okay?

[D]

He kisses better than their dad.

[A]

Yeah. He won't get it.

[D]

We'll never get over.

[C]

I will say this. I think it's rude to have a wedding in the around the holidays. I agree. I think it's.

[E]

A lot of people do it.

[C]

I know. I go to one in two weeks and I'm man.

[D]

Oh, two weeks.

[E]

I mean, two weeks is past the holiday.

[C]

No, no, no. I want, I want two months.

[A]

Josh.

[D]

Going to a wedding is like me being around reptiles. I'm terrified. Josh is.

[C]

I am pretty furious.

[D]

Commit a holic.

[C]

It's a Sunday.

[E]

A Sunday?

[C]

Yeah, before Martin Luther King for some.

[D]

Is there a game? Is there a game on that day?

[E]

No.

[C]

Oh, that's probably one of the reasons too.

[D]

I wonder if anybody's ever been to a wedding where there's a game on the thing during the ceremony.

[E]

We all were at a wedding when that happened. Don't you remember? You were there.

[C]

Wait a minute.

[D]

Sorry again. I'm not one to talk, but.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

No, no. No weddings in December or January.

[H]

I've been to multiple New Year's Eve weddings.

[C]

Yeah, that's rude.

[H]

Oh yeah. I, yeah, I'm not a fan.

[D]

Now, New Year's Eve. Well, this year.

[H]

Yeah. Wedding on New Year's eve.

[D]

This year, July 4th is a Saturday.

[H]

Yes.

[D]

And it's also the 250th.

[A]

You and this.

[H]

There's a lot of Saturday holidays.

[D]

But I mean do you think, do you think a lot of people get married on that July 4th?

[A]

I don't think it's going to be as big a deal as you think. It's going to be the 250th anniversary. Are you kidding? No, I'm not kidding. I'm serious. It's my thought.

[D]

Now do you guys remember the bicentennial minute?

[A]

Yes. Yeah, I don't ours or the one on CBS or whatever.

[D]

I, I think that's during the seven 1976 celebrating the 200th year. They did the, this, these little historic historical based minutes.

[C]

Oh, now you're a bicentennial minute.

[D]

A little bit of history.

[H]

Okay.

[A]

Brought to you by Scott on 60 Minutes.

[C]

They did this.

[A]

No, no.

[D]

All over just at random.

[A]

You know how you see the NBC. The more you know NBC, the more you know.

[E]

Popped up on tv.

[C]

I just already know kind of thing I would.

[D]

I wonder if they'll do that again. Something celebrating 250. It's a big deal.

[A]

I can't imagine why I hadn't thought about it. I don't know if it's because I.

[D]

Maybe or I just maybe after the Olympics I'll be.

[C]

Well, you have already moved to England. Here you are besmirching our country's 250th.

[A]

I'm out of here, baby.

[D]

Now, I don't know the answer to this question. There was a big problem because of the tariffs and all the fireworks come from China and the tariffs were so high because they have to order the fireworks for July 4th like months ago. So I don't know what the deal it's sure this is gonna be the biggest fireworks ever, don't you think?

[H]

I think it'll be the same, Tom.

[E]

I do too.

[A]

I think it'll be the same.

[H]

I mean I'm excited.

[E]

Wait a minute.

[D]

I gotta let you. Dear Tom, you're correct. The fireworks will last an extra half hour.

[A]

Thank you.

[D]

Oh, it's a big deal. What country do you guys live in?

[C]

You know what happens if the fireworks last an extra half hour, right?

[H]

What?

[C]

More pickpocketing. I mean it's going to be.

[H]

Oh, that's right.

[A]

You remember the pickpast.

[D]

Absolutely true.

[A]

People looking up at fireworks, they're not paying attention to their back pocket.

[D]

I bet they're. There are thieves rounding up youngsters, training them to be pickpockets for this big July 4th celebration.

[A]

You know what? I know it was only two weeks ago.

[H]

It's a pyramid scheme.

[A]

But you're. You're crazier than. I remember thinking the same thing. And I thought some of it was your just playing, but I don't think that's the case.

[D]

No, I like. I like flying to an expensive ski resort and sitting inside watching tv cuz there's no snow.

[A]

Getting a program.

[C]

How hard would he be laughing? If that was one of our videos.

[E]

Y.

[C]

If we. If we went to the Bahamas and.

[G]

There was a hurricane.

[C]

Hurricane. The laughter.

[H]

Did you guys play any board games? Did you do other stuff?

[D]

Yeah, put. We worked on a puzzle.

[H]

Yeah.

[D]

Walked around a lot.

[H]

Things you could do at home. Is that why you're upset?

[D]

Oh no.

[C]

It was like an eight thousand dollar puzzle.

[F]

We had more snow here.

[A]

Eight grand a day.

[D]

Like I said, the skiing was terrible, but at least the lines were long. Oh God, Jimmy.

[C]

Vacation sex.

[D]

A gentleman would never discuss such things.

[C]

That's a yes.

[H]

I thought you went back to this resort because it was less crowded. Like it. Didn't you choose this one a couple years ago? Because it. No, no, no, no.

[D]

It's just. It's a gigantic mountain and. But none. Almost none of it was open.

[C]

It was certainly not crowded with snow.

[E]

It was like 65 in Denver one day. And I went, wow. Tom must not be getting snow where he is either.

[D]

Yeah.

[H]

So we're supposed to have more snow this season than we've ever had.

[E]

It's not over.

[D]

She did by the way.

[E]

Cross your fingers.

[D]

Semi off topic. You see the Farmer's Almanac? This is the last one ever.

[E]

Yeah, done.

[C]

They're done.

[A]

Is that because of the popularity the Farmers Almanac, you think?

[D]

I think someone realized that it was a scam.

[C]

Well, I think it was onto something enjoyable.

[A]

It's got to be a cold winter because the worms are woollier.

[C]

You guys then Ben Franklin start the Farmers Almond night.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Poor John's or something.

[C]

Was he in the White House?

[A]

Poor Richard.

[C]

Poor Richard.

[D]

But it's done. This is it. So grab that collectible copy.

[C]

If you had one, maybe you would have seen this year would have been poor snow.

[D]

If it says that. If it says don't go skiing in Colorado, I will take it all back.

[F]

You knew weeks ahead of time it was going to be bad, right? You were telling us.

[A]

I.

[D]

We. I paid for the thing in August.

[C]

Yeah. What are you gonna do?

[D]

Yeah. Oh, well.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Well, at least I got felt up by the tsa.

[E]

Yeah, there you go.

[D]

I don't know what it is about me that I keep getting the full.

[C]

They want to touch you. Yeah, the full everything.

[D]

I'm on some list. I don't know what I did. I'm traveling with this beautiful woman and these children, but I'm gonna bomb the plane. Okay, good.

[H]

It might be saying things like that, that.

[A]

Oh, okay. Maybe your thoughts on Kansas City rant.

[E]

On the Philadelphia woman. So, you know, okay.

[D]

Could be. Who knows? We'll move ahead. What's coming up in sports?

[A]

Nothing.

[D]

Okay, good. We have then we have. I know we have some fine quality comedy about dying while being circumcised. I saw this while I was on vacation and I saved it.

[A]

Somebody died?

[D]

Oh, a whole bunch.

[H]

A whole bunch of death.

[D]

Yep.

[C]

Many died.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Now, wait a minute. This wasn't like.

[H]

This wasn't.

[C]

A house exploded when they were having a circumcision.

[A]

Because of the circumcision.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

They died.

[D]

Yeah. You'll find out what happened.

[C]

We gotta stop going to this guy, huh?

[D]

We'll find out when we return to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[J]

Got a comment to share? Text us at 888-262-86611. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee.

[E]

Hello.

[A]

She's at the Silac Insurance news desk. There's Pat Godwin.

[F]

Hey, Chick.

[A]

There's Jesse.

[H]

Hello.

[A]

There's Josh Arnold. Hello. The I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby.

[C]

Hello.

[A]

I'm Chick McGee at the Prize pick sports desk. Tom has a hair in his mouth.

[D]

At least I got one. One near my head.

[A]

Do you remember how you ended the. The year last year, Tom? You told us you had working on some resolutions, huh? Do you remember that? Yeah. Do you remember the whole thing?

[F]

You know what you said?

[A]

Well, it went a little something like this.

[D]

I guess the big thing is fitness goals. I have some fitness goals.

[C]

Oh, yeah? What's that?

[D]

What it was I'm gonna fit this wiener in your sister.

[E]

Yeah. That was the last thing we heard before.

[D]

Completely forgot about that.

[E]

Oh, how'd that go?

[C]

It was awesome.

[A]

Anybody's sister?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

A couple weeks.

[C]

Well, the implication. It was one of our receptors.

[A]

Sister.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Somebody who has a sister, what's gonna matter?

[E]

Yeah.

[H]

We have Good luck.

[A]

Yeah. Wow.

[D]

It wasn't any of those.

[F]

I got three.

[D]

You have no sisters, Josh, do you?

[C]

No.

[D]

Christy, you got one.

[E]

Yep.

[D]

Ms. Hooker, I have two. Okay.

[H]

They're 30 and 29.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

I like older women.

[A]

Well played, my friend. Well played.

[C]

Very nice. I'm sorry, I don't have any sisters. I just have three gay brothers.

[A]

Are they from Kansas City?

[D]

Now, all this talk about how I didn't realize that the Kansas City Chiefs played in Missouri. I got this, dear. The Kansas City Airport is in Missouri. Okay.

[C]

I mean, it is Kansas City, Missouri. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

But there's a Kansas City, Kansas.

[F]

Sure.

[D]

And the Chiefs are moving over there.

[C]

Yeah. How about that?

[A]

Dear Bob and Tom Show. I'm a native of St. Louis, Missouri. St. Peter's sure. I'm not a big fan of Kansas. When news broke of the Chiefs moving to Kansas, I happened upon the following article that I've enclosed entitled Armpit of Kansas, Kansas City, Kansas. I was so happy to see this article. I bought a print from the Wall Street Journal. Don't let the Kansas fans sway you. It is a bad move. That's Luke.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, we don't know the specifics and details and everything, but it's the.

[A]

Paris of the plains. It's the. The city of fountains.

[H]

Let's go. Let's road trip.

[C]

I've been many times. I enjoy it.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Is that right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Sanjay's not there, Right? Sausage, the other way.

[C]

Yeah. That's St. Louis.

[D]

Sage is the East St. Louis.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[D]

So. And that's in Illinois, right? Sure.

[E]

Paris of porn.

[C]

That is the Frankfurt of filth.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay. Well, it's time for us to segue over to the news desk. Is that correct?

[E]

Yes. Listening to your favorite music activates the same parts of the brain as food and sex, according to new research. The study showed that listening to music we like most affects the function of the brain cell opioid system. Researchers explained that music can evoke intense pleasure, sometimes experienced physically as pleasant chills.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[D]

So music is the essence of it. Is music great Music is like great sex.

[H]

Yeah.

[E]

That's what they're kind of saying that.

[D]

We like the Strokes so much.

[C]

Yes.

[H]

The Scissor Sisters.

[C]

I'll defend that. Scissor Sisters Hit all day. Yeah.

[A]

I will do.

[C]

Album.

[A]

I'm not. I'm unfamiliar.

[E]

I'm not familiar with it.

[D]

Very good.

[F]

You'd like it. It's wonderful.

[D]

I'm not too familiar.

[A]

I was watching the hall of Fame induction for this year. It's On Hulu and saw Stevie Wonder doing the Sliced alone. Sliced alone.

[D]

Sliced on Twisted Shy away.

[A]

I knew that comment had legs. No, but Salt and Pepper were inducted. I had. No, I. I hadn't. I was aware of her. But you know, they. Everybody says Salt and Pepper, but it's Peppa. Peppa. Peppa. But Spinderella.

[H]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Is a big part of that band.

[C]

Oh, there would be no Salt and Pepper without Spinderella.

[A]

She was on stage.

[H]

Yeah, she's the DJ that always.

[A]

I believe they.

[C]

Some say she is the chick McGee too. Cinderella is a. Yeah, Spinderella cut it up one time.

[A]

That's what they said. And she pointed and started.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You remember Push It, Salt and Peppa.

[C]

You ever sing hole to this bull S instead of Push It?

[A]

Oh, no. It's fun.

[C]

It's fun.

[A]

You know, I'm going to now.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I won't do it out loud. Yeah. Not like right now.

[D]

That'd be an interesting compilation of.

[C]

Of songs that young boys have ruined.

[D]

Yeah. What's the. What's the one where they. They go get. Get.

[F]

That's the mon.

[D]

Yeah, that. That. That's why I miss those great compilations. They would always have some hook and songs that groups have ruined all together.

[H]

Did they do something during Sweet Carolina?

[E]

Yes.

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Well, that's the most famous.

[G]

Yeah.

[E]

Okay.

[F]

So good. So good that repeat.

[A]

So. Yeah. So good.

[D]

And I have not. I have been gone, so I have not had a chance to see Song Song Blue. Our favorite person on earth, Hugh Jackman.

[A]

Oh, he was.

[D]

When he was in whatever.

[A]

You know, that cuts a. That cuts a wide swap. Favorite person on earth is Hugh Jackman.

[D]

How was the movie?

[E]

It was great. You'll enjoy it.

[D]

Did you see it, Josh?

[C]

Yes, I thought it was great.

[A]

Oh, good.

[D]

I'll really check it out this week.

[C]

Had a good time.

[D]

All right. It's about a Neil Diamond, I guess impersonator or interpreter.

[C]

Interpreter. Yes.

[E]

Tribute, if you will.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Kate Hudson is award worthy. If only. She's great.

[E]

Right?

[C]

But her Wisconsin accent is dead on.

[H]

Oh, right. It's awesome.

[E]

You know what? I thought the same thing. I go, how did she do that?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Well, give me the teaser. Christy, what's coming up?

[E]

Coming up, we still have those 41 guys who had problem with their circumstances decision.

[C]

41, huh? You think 41? You're thinking what guy? Three or four? You know what?

[A]

Wait a minute.

[C]

We're going somewhere else.

[A]

Are all 41 dead?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, God damn.

[E]

That's more than a problem.

[C]

Krueger.

[D]

Doing?

[E]

Oh, no. There's no rabbi involved.

[A]

What the hell?

[D]

I'm Dr. Dick Cutter.

[A]

No. After 25. Let's stop that. Yeah.

[C]

That's a serial killer.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

That's not a mo.

[D]

We'll find out about circumcisions gone wrong when we return to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[J]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Yep, we're here. We're live. Deal with it. It. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[E]

Hey.

[A]

Hey, yourself.

[E]

Hey.

[A]

She's at the Silac Insurance news desk. There's Pat Godwin. Hello. We simply must get a picture of Christy and Jess back to back or twinning or. Or hug or hugging or something as.

[C]

They'Re easy on their way to the.

[D]

Mime convention, both wearing the way to the Foot Locker horrible horizontal stripes.

[A]

Yes. There's Josh Arnold. He's the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby and his glorious beard. Oh, I wish let that go. Just. Just, just let.

[E]

That is nice.

[D]

It's awful.

[A]

See? That's a girl.

[C]

Looks younger.

[D]

Yeah, no, he doesn't.

[E]

He looks like they.

[D]

Looks like they found him in an alley where I used to be somebody.

[H]

So did you stop shaving after we left? Was that your last day? And when will you shave again?

[E]

Probably today.

[F]

The Raiders win.

[A]

Well, if you're gonna wait.

[D]

If you're gonna wait for the Raiders to win, he's gonna be Ace Van Winkle.

[A]

He's gonna have I used to be somebody.

[F]

Yeah, that's what we heard.

[D]

That's what I heard. I just don't think it's his look.

[C]

Aces look is whatever he wants.

[A]

I think a beard. I don't know when this happened. I don't know why it's the case, but it's an absolute fact. Every guy on the planet Earth. Earth looks better in a beard.

[H]

Jason cough sets would not look.

[E]

My husband wouldn't.

[H]

No, I don't.

[A]

I disagree.

[D]

No, no, not true.

[E]

No.

[H]

Mark. Allison. You think Mark would look better with a beard?

[A]

Okay, Allison's a weirdo, but yeah.

[D]

I mean, I don't know. I. I don't agree. I just don't think it's aces.

[A]

When you had a beard. The Van Dyke Go goatee or whatever the hell it was, it was wonderful.

[H]

It wasn't a full beard.

[A]

Gorgeous.

[E]

That did make you look cool, though.

[D]

Josh looks great with the beard.

[C]

Thank you. My winter's beard.

[D]

Now, when do you cut that thing back?

[C]

This will probably. Boy, March, April, something like that.

[D]

And you have that thing where from the lip down, it's white.

[C]

That's right.

[D]

And everyone. It's kind of like a skunk.

[A]

How does it know?

[C]

It is very skunk.

[E]

It's so extinguished.

[H]

It's so even where it comes down that women. Cause that.

[A]

That.

[H]

That there's.

[C]

I the only. I've heard you say that.

[H]

Oh, okay.

[D]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What? Is it a.

[H]

No.

[D]

Oh, is this like a juices thing?

[E]

Yes.

[F]

Now.

[C]

Oh, it tracks.

[H]

It does.

[A]

Well, I don't know if it's true.

[C]

Or not, but it does.

[A]

Wait a minute.

[D]

Okay, so it's either women or gravy.

[A]

No, but what does it say? My beard. I'm. It's entirely gray. What does that mean? You're a rubbing my face.

[F]

Enchilada out there.

[A]

I'm. I'm pulling it around my ears. Tom, wouldn't every woman's bush look like.

[C]

A Stell Getty's wig?

[H]

That's true.

[A]

Absolutely.

[D]

You know something? I'll bet no one's ever said that. No one's gonna say, josh, Josh Dush stole my line.

[A]

No. Is Estelle Yeti still alive?

[D]

That isn't.

[C]

Oh, she was the youngest, but she was the first to go.

[A]

That's weird.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Betty White hung in there.

[C]

Betty White introduced her to a bear because she was big with animals, and my gosh, if it didn't tear us down.

[A]

There you go, Tom. Here's that Scissor Sister song that Jess and Josh were talking about.

[C]

Christy loves it.

[A]

If you pat back me up on.

[F]

This, I. I know you're gonna say.

[A]

I thought this sounded like Elton John. Yes. Tumbleweed connection.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

That's why I think I like it.

[D]

Is this recent?

[C]

No, 1520.

[F]

At least 1520.

[A]

Am I right?

[E]

I've never heard this before.

[A]

Early Elton John.

[D]

Yeah.

[H]

It's fun.

[D]

Why was it on your mind you had said.

[C]

Maybe I listened to the Strokes because I'm a. You know, one of your clever little asides there, Jason.

[E]

Are you saying that came out in 2022 or 2022 years ago?

[C]

That's a good one.

[D]

I've never heard that.

[E]

I haven't either.

[C]

It's because it's. It's that kind of throwback.

[A]

It's.

[C]

It was so.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

They're friends with Elton John, too. They Admit the connection.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh yeah. Oh, cool.

[D]

Yeah. Okay. Now we can move forward. We were learning that what was it that music is. How does. What was the connection between music and.

[C]

All it is is it hits the same part of the brain. Good food and sex. That opioid.

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Center.

[A]

Unless you're in a loveless relationship, of course.

[C]

Right, of course.

[H]

Like how you feel when you go through the car wash.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

Yes.

[H]

There you go.

[A]

There you go.

[F]

Everyone's got some.

[A]

Have you ever played with yourself? Just admit it.

[D]

No, but I do. I, I.

[A]

You've thought about it.

[D]

No, no, I will. I will get in the car wash. Yep. And then I have to complete wordle by the time I get up.

[E]

Glad you said wordle.

[C]

Oh, see I look. I appreciate.

[D]

Or the New York Times mini. I gotta get it done.

[E]

I thought you enjoyed just the calm.

[C]

That's the thing. I appreciate that you do that, but I. I really would prefer you to sit back and enjoy.

[E]

Right. The sloshing and the hot water.

[D]

Why did so it's all happening.

[C]

Oh, I talked to myself.

[H]

You think it's sexy?

[E]

Oh, I think it's very sexy. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, I have like a. I talked to myself. Oh my God. What are these guys doing?

[A]

You know what I. Slappies.

[C]

Get out of here. Slappies.

[E]

They look like octopus chili roller.

[C]

You can't roll over my car.

[A]

Don't you love the. The ones car wash that has the muppets everywhere and they're tattered Elmo like a half melted coconut. They haven't paid any of the licensing fees.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, I'm a huge fan. I love going through car wash. I don't know what it is.

[H]

I can't go anymore. It makes me so car sick.

[C]

Car sick?

[H]

Yeah, I can't go.

[C]

Interesting.

[H]

Yeah, it's. Yeah, I get really.

[C]

What if you close your eyes.

[H]

No, because I still. There's something else. I don't know. I've tried. I've tried all of it.

[A]

What about this? Why do they. I feel like when you go to the car wash, it's crowded. They cram you in. I don't like it right behind you.

[E]

I don't like that.

[A]

I want my wash. Yeah, I don't want half his wash and half the.

[E]

Guy wash my dry and not half a dry.

[C]

In fact, I'm willing to wait way longer for me to be the only one in there.

[H]

Keep waving me. I'm not coming.

[D]

I'm concerned that I'm going to ram the guy, right? Yes, Ram the guy in front of me.

[A]

Me.

[E]

Exactly.

[A]

Tom, if I waved, would you come?

[H]

All right.

[A]

But anyway, I've done this. I've feigned acting. I have trouble with my vehicle.

[E]

For some reason.

[A]

I can't go. I can't. I can't go forward. I don't know what the problem. And I do this. I put my hands out.

[C]

I've gotten out of my vehicle. Gone. What's that you're saying?

[A]

That's right.

[C]

Just to slow it up.

[D]

I just want the mirror back.

[E]

Yeah. Well, what. Why'd they get rid of that?

[C]

I think it's because there was a certain part of the day where it was lasering.

[D]

See, with the mirror, you can see where your tire was going.

[E]

Exactly.

[D]

Instead of them pointing. Yeah, but there must be some reason.

[A]

And there must be horrible damage when you hit it wrong on the inside backside of your tire.

[E]

And you've heard that before, right?

[C]

Do you all get a little nervous when the end of the car wash, you have to go from neutral to drive? You're like, oh, gosh, I'm gonna forget.

[E]

Yeah.

[H]

I'm gonna forget how to do it.

[E]

And I have to put my brake on, and then it's going to hold up everybody.

[D]

You have to tap the brake. Yeah.

[C]

Actually shut this thing down.

[A]

And the cars we drive. And evidently the serial killer and the beast in me drives.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

That. That you. Neutral is a trick to get into. Yeah, it really is.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, it's a little.

[D]

If you don't know how to. It's a very odd little switch.

[C]

Pers.

[A]

That's when I. I'm having trouble with my family. I don't know what's happening.

[C]

What a fun. What a nice little blessing.

[D]

A car wash.

[E]

I love it.

[A]

Yes, sir.

[E]

That's the greatest monthly payment I have.

[C]

Now, Ace, you have a window that is not totally functioning. It's got the.

[D]

What is it celebrating its third anniversary?

[E]

He hasn't had a car wash in three years.

[C]

Can you not. I guess you just can't take it through.

[D]

You couldn't take it through a car wash.

[C]

It's a good seal on it. Oh, have you tried?

[E]

I have not done that.

[C]

I'll pay for the car wash if you try.

[A]

If. If we can put a camera in the back.

[E]

When those little octopus tentacles go through his back.

[A]

Back seat. They're sticking their heads in the window.

[C]

I mean the slappies. Silly Slappies.

[E]

Do your dogs like the car wash?

[D]

No.

[E]

Oh, my dog doesn't either. Not one of them. Frankie doesn't.

[C]

Did you ever have kids that were frightened by it?

[E]

No.

[H]

Yeah, my brother was. And so our aunts and uncles would take us through just to mess with him.

[A]

Just to mess with him.

[H]

Make him cry.

[D]

Well, still. Still writes letters from prison remembering the good old car wash day. Well, now let's move forward here. And give me the teaser. What's coming up.

[E]

Well, we still have our circumcision story to get.

[A]

41 dead.

[E]

$100,000 worth of love. Lobster's been stolen. We have a woman who found something very interesting in a waymo. And man, those are another runaway wallaby.

[A]

I don't care for the waymos. You go to Austin every. It seems like every 10th car is a waymo. I guess waymo is. That's their hub or some dumb thing really odd.

[E]

And you never gotten one.

[A]

I haven't gotten. I might. I might. Yeah.

[C]

You got to give it a shot.

[A]

Can you take awaymo through a car way was.

[E]

I don't think so.

[D]

But the way mode be perfect for you.

[A]

Why is that?

[D]

There's no human being in it. It's everything you love about life. No one else around but you.

[A]

Pretty good. Yeah.

[C]

Have you ever considered that maybe, you know, chick doesn't care to talk to us, right? Yeah. But out in the world.

[A]

Let me tell you something. I've got stuff going on, baby. I can't think of any of them right now, but.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. Okay. Plus, coming up, circumcision's gone very wrong. And 41 dead.

[A]

I said that.

[D]

One of the classic. We get lists every year. This is the return of the. A lot of people interested in emergency rooms because of the. Because of the great television series the Pit, which is returning for season two. I can't wait.

[A]

They better get. This is just my opinion. I know everyone loves a pit. I am. I am among that number. But I thought it could have been a lot better.

[C]

What?

[A]

They had room to go. Yep.

[C]

I liked it a lot standing by that it could have been some little less socio political chat about how awful men are, but that's just mine.

[E]

I'll tell you this about the pit. I was on the studio lot recently in LA when they were filming. They have the.

[A]

How is your pilot coming?

[E]

All right. They have the greatest barbecue setup. This huge outdoor. The guy was cooking and had a smoker. That's awesome. Wow.

[D]

The barbecue pit.

[A]

Who would have known?

[E]

Exactly.

[A]

Barbecue pit from Kansas City, Kansas. It's the barbecue pit.

[E]

I really wanted to go over there and eat because it was right across from the commissary thing where you were, you know, dropped off at the tour, but.

[D]

Well, we have the 2025 list from emergency rooms all across America of things found inside human rectums.

[E]

Oh, boy. Well, notice I was at the bottom of my stack. Yeah.

[C]

So to speak.

[D]

Among them, an aerosol can.

[A]

What did happen to the picture we had of the guy that had a light bulb in his. Let's go back there.

[D]

That's a legit X ray. That's from like, you know, pre Photoshop.

[C]

Well, an aerosol can is. Wow, that is really something.

[E]

That's girthy.

[C]

Boy, let me tell you, the environment.

[A]

Say what you want about people from Kansas City, but that's a man. Okay, this isn't necessarily.

[C]

Is that what we're saying? That's what Tom told me.

[A]

Watch Blazing Saddles.

[D]

Right now, this portion of the Bob and Time show is brought to you by our friends at Java House. Yeah, it is the hub of any workplace. We call it the green room here and they call it the coffee room.

[E]

And Jess has to stock it up for us. Don't you, Jess?

[H]

I do.

[E]

And it's easy now because she doesn't have to go to the store and buy 18 different things for our us. We can just go to Javahouse.com and get everything we need.

[D]

Ah, the break room. Yeah, the break room stalker.

[E]

Yeah, that's.

[D]

Well, keeping everybody happy. Not easy, especially around here. You can only imagine. Yeah, we have various coffees, teas.

[E]

Right.

[D]

Someone stole. See my little box of liquid science I keep right here? Yeah, my la. I had like two left during the vacation. Someone drank them.

[F]

They were delicious.

[D]

It's peel and pour. There are little, little guys. Just peel the top off and pour it and you can make yourself coffee, tea, hot chocolate, etc. Etc. And you can check it all out at Java House by going to java house.com next time you're doing some stuff online. Java House has all the break room stuff that you could use in the form of little pods. Like I said, tea, coffee, lattes, espressos, et cetera, et cetera. And the best part, your break room, you can have hot and cold. So also we recommend it on ice cream. You just take one of these little pods, peel it off, pour it on some vanilla ice cream. I would recommend that highly. Visit javahouse.com to see what we're talking about. Java House, the official beverage service of the Bob and Tom Show. It could transform your office. And you know how hard it is to keep everybody happy at the office. And you can see how unsuccessful we've been, at least in terms of a Psychological health. But in terms of coffee and tea, Java House can help you out. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Hey, good morning. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[E]

Hello.

[A]

She's at the Silac Insurance news desk. There's Pat Godwin.

[C]

Hello.

[A]

Jess Hooker.

[E]

Hi.

[A]

There's Josh Arnold.

[C]

Hello there.

[A]

Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick Magee at the Prize Picks sports desk. Hello, Tom.

[D]

Josh, how many public urinals do you suppose you use during the vacation?

[C]

Oh, that's a good question.

[A]

That's a good question. Crazy brother. Yes.

[C]

I'm gonna say eight.

[E]

Whoa.

[C]

Maybe more. Now, let me.

[D]

Because you were out of town.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

So the, the place you were visiting, were you staying at one of your brother's houses?

[C]

No, I stayed at a hotel, so. Boy, let me tell you something, too. A hotel breakfast buffet on Christmas morning. Really something. That is a yummy. That is a hodgepodge of humanity.

[D]

Somewhat depressing.

[C]

Was it, you know, was there kind.

[A]

Of Christmas music playing on the muzak?

[C]

Yes.

[E]

Any little kids? Were there?

[D]

No.

[C]

There were. There were families, of course, dressed up and ready to go celebrate Christmas with the families that they came to that town to visit. There were the guys like me who just. Just alone and eating and maybe had nowhere to go.

[F]

Was it continental or hot? Do you have a hot breakfast?

[C]

Hot. Hot. Yeah, I guess the hotel tell. Yeah, sure.

[D]

How do the tears. How do the tears taste in the syrup?

[E]

Did they change the batter to red and green? So your pancakes are at least colorful.

[C]

Not that I know.

[E]

A waffle iron. Because they usually have a waffle iron.

[C]

Yeah, the food was fine, but it was just. It's an interesting mix of people. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I. I would rather not do it.

[A]

Again.

[C]

But my family, all. It's all Christmas Eve. That's the. That's.

[H]

Oh, okay.

[C]

So Christmas Day, there's not much. Yeah. Yeah.

[H]

So did you just go home after that?

[C]

You know, I was gonna stay in St. Louis for like, another day or two.

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

And I ate breakfast in the hotel, and then I went up my room and sat in the chair for like half an hour, and then I went, I'm going home.

[A]

All right.

[D]

Don't you love that, though? Every once in a while you're thinking, you know something, I'm going home a day early.

[C]

So I called the front desk and I said, hey, I'm booked through, you know, Saturday, but if I leave now, will You. And they were like, we won't charge you. It was like, okay, I'm. I'm just. So you guys know, I. I am leaving now.

[H]

Were you the sad gentleman sitting in the corner earlier? We won't charge you.

[A]

We noticed that.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

We thought this was coming. We posted.

[D]

We've posted photographs of you.

[F]

What did your family think? That you were leaving early.

[C]

I had already. All the family commitments were done.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[C]

But in my head, I was like, you know what? I haven't. There are some of my favorite restaurants I haven't been to in a while. I'll call this friend. I'll call that friend. And I hadn't done any of that yet.

[D]

And so.

[C]

But. So I was like, I'm out of.

[E]

Here, and it's Christmas Day. They all probably have plans anyway.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And so I. I'll tell you what, driving the highways on Christmas Day are.

[A]

It's.

[C]

That's the best time to drive.

[D]

What are the airlines? I didn't fly. I flew the day after. Are the airlines pretty light on Christmas?

[C]

I don't know.

[H]

No, they're not, because we usually fly Christmas afternoon, evening, and it's really nice that we didn't do it this year. Yeah, I'm glad.

[D]

Cool. All right, well, now it's time to check in with the striped lady over there. Wait a minute. They both had stripes.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Christy Lee's over there. What's going on?

[E]

Well, we're gonna get to the story that makes you happiest. The website known as Defector has compiled a list of the most puzzling foreign objects that get stuck in people's rectums in 2025.

[C]

Boy, this is. We already heard reports. We heard aerosol can.

[E]

Yeah. Using reports from the US Consumer Product Safety Commission's database of emergency room visits, the site enlists these following items. Lubricant bottle.

[D]

Well, that makes sense.

[C]

Well, you're supposed to take it out of the bottle.

[E]

Yeah. You're not supposed to.

[D]

Yeah, but I mean, presumably one would open it, lube things up and then.

[C]

Lube and.

[D]

Doesn't it say anything? Lube and shove. Repeat.

[A]

That's good.

[D]

I don't know.

[E]

An enema bottle.

[F]

Well, there you go.

[E]

That's supposed to go there, right?

[D]

Well, no, it's the nozzle.

[C]

Yeah, the nozzle, but has anybody ever done that?

[D]

No.

[E]

No.

[A]

The whole bottle?

[C]

No.

[D]

Professionally, by a. When I was a kid at a hospital situation.

[C]

Oh, you had a blockage of some kind.

[D]

Yeah. I don't know. They didn't know they were doing A test?

[C]

Oh.

[A]

See how you were seeing if you fell for it mean or titled or anything like that?

[D]

No, no, they knew what that was from.

[A]

Why did you have an enema when you were a kid?

[D]

I had to have a. It was a nuclear medicine department of St. Luke's Hospital.

[E]

Jesus.

[D]

It was someone. I don't know what. I'm serious.

[E]

Are you radioactive?

[D]

I. I've always wondered if that's.

[E]

That's ever messed you up.

[D]

I mean, I was like. I was in like a third grade or something.

[C]

You're like, swallow barium or something.

[D]

That's my only enema experience.

[A]

Were you low on boron or something? Is that what happened?

[D]

You ever had an enema?

[A]

Yeah, I've had one. Well, I remember I wanted the suppository last time I was in. I thought they were going to give me one. They said no, no, they just handed me the suppository.

[D]

Did they give you a glove?

[E]

No. Yeah, I didn't.

[G]

Yourself.

[A]

You know how they give you a pill and there was a little paper cup. They gave me. They gave me a story and a.

[C]

Little paper cup and I request the suppository. What was the other option?

[A]

I don't know if there was another option.

[C]

Okay. Were you kind of looking forward to somebody having to do that?

[A]

I wasn't looking forward to it, but I thought that was the procedure.

[C]

I would have thought so.

[A]

Someone.

[D]

Don't they have to give you a glove? I mean, seriously, it's your own, but shove it.

[A]

No, but I wash my hands after.

[E]

Use a glove when you wipe your butt.

[C]

He probably does.

[H]

Yeah, he probably.

[A]

I bet you do. You're a gloved wiper.

[D]

If they had gloves on the wall, like in the pit, I would anyway. I use. I put a glove on when I put it.

[A]

No, it's that old. They don't want you to go home until you.

[H]

Right.

[A]

You have to go have a movement. And did you know one of those.

[C]

Gloves on when he gets gas?

[E]

Yes, he's talked about that.

[A]

I'm sure he does.

[D]

Oh, those nozzles are filthy. You seen the people touching them?

[E]

Getting back to our list, screws and nails.

[D]

These are found inside human rectums?

[E]

Yes. Patient states, quote, he put a baseball in his rectum to see what it felt like.

[C]

Wow. Rough day in mud.

[D]

And there is no joy in Mudville. Mighty Casey has struck out, man. Thank you, Josh.

[C]

Very good baseball.

[D]

How could you? I mean, that would be. But wouldn't you. Wouldn't even the most primitive of minds go, this is not Going to come.

[A]

Out the most primitive of mines.

[D]

I mean, a chimp wouldn't do that. Screws and nails. Yeah.

[C]

I actually knew a buddy who was into that. He went to the store and he bought some screws and nails. The guy said, oh, what are you gonna use these for? He said, I'm gonna. I'm gonna put them. Put them up my butt. The guy says, well, with tax, these will be $4. And he goes, tax? What do you think I am, the.

[A]

Classic I'm not a pervert?

[D]

For a second I was buying into. That's really odd.

[A]

Well, there's no. You want the kind you push in with a finger.

[D]

Hammer. With a thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Very good. Very good.

[E]

Tom mentioned the aerosol can earlier, but which kind?

[H]

I mean, like, there's. There's spray paint and then there's, like, silly string. Like, that's smaller.

[D]

Is that aerosol or is that a pumpkin spray? Now, Josh, your problem with putting the aerosol can up your butt.

[C]

That's a bit bad for the environment.

[D]

There you go. Very good. Or there's a Freon. What's in there?

[E]

There's the travel size. Hairspray.

[C]

Sure.

[E]

There's. You can go a lot of sizes.

[D]

So you're justifying it.

[E]

Travel size would be a lot easier. Yeah. To do.

[D]

But still a very bad idea.

[E]

A dog chew toy. Not sure exactly which one. This one is weird. Dryer sheet.

[A]

That's gotta be a cog.

[E]

A dryer sheet.

[H]

You want to be fresh.

[D]

And wouldn't that gather and poop out?

[E]

I wouldn't. I don't know.

[C]

I bet it was an odor thing. They went, hey, I have some ass odor.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

And why have you tried dryer sheet?

[E]

You just put it in your underwear. You didn't have to stick it up your butt.

[H]

Well, maybe that's where it started. Worked its way up there.

[E]

Here's one. Was feeling constipated for two days and took the base piece of his beard clippers and wrapped it in a plastic baggie, inserted it into the rectum and it got stuck is what they told the emergency room.

[D]

I'd like to see if there's a correlation between these events and certain levels of intoxication.

[H]

Was it on?

[D]

Don't you know what I'm gonna say?

[E]

Yeah, get the vibrating.

[H]

Yeah.

[D]

Mostly people have to be drunk or high.

[C]

Don't you think we're way horny and just trying to figure things out?

[H]

Or miserable if he's trying to relieve himself.

[C]

Do you buy the constipation story?

[H]

Maybe.

[C]

I don't you're right, we don't.

[D]

Clippers with beard clippers.

[C]

I mean.

[D]

So would you do a quick inventory and let's see, what could I do? Tweezers are too small, aerosol can too big. Oh, the beard clipper. Well, now, what should I put on here? The four or the five? Which guy do I.

[E]

Why don't you just try a dokalax or whatever it's called. Dukalax or whatever.

[D]

Because this isn't about being constipated. This is about something else.

[E]

Here's another one. A baton.

[A]

On a relay team.

[C]

At some point you're gonna pass that to me.

[A]

No, I think.

[D]

Isn't this the kind you twirl?

[E]

Yeah, I would assume. Yeah.

[D]

Oh, well, those would be long enough to pull out, right? I mean, if you get that whole.

[C]

Thing in there, well, we can remove it from your butt or your mouth. That's very big baton, sir.

[A]

What about the rubber covering? What of the.

[H]

What about the streamers?

[A]

Well, that's just festive.

[E]

A hair tie. Okay, that's weird.

[C]

Maybe he was trying to tie off his own hemorrhoid.

[D]

Oh, people do that.

[E]

That's true.

[C]

Isn't that something?

[E]

Here's a quote. Concerned about if he still had a small vibrator in his rectum that his girlfriend placed in there on Friday.

[C]

Hey, Doc, I was just curious.

[A]

Hi. Yeah. Oh, I'm fine.

[D]

Other.

[A]

Well, I last thing. Oh, oh, yeah, he got.

[C]

Is there anything else before I go? Yeah, you know what?

[A]

I do have a question.

[C]

He columboed it.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Beside the actual reason he called right at the end.

[D]

Oh, beside the headache. I forgot. I was searching my bedroom. Look through the sheets.

[A]

I can't sit down.

[C]

Is there still a tiny vibrator in my book? My girlfriend jammed up there.

[D]

Can you put your ear down there and listen?

[E]

A turkey baster.

[C]

Okay, makes sense.

[D]

Let's see.

[E]

But. But they're.

[D]

Yeah. Where do you do you push it all the way at the end there.

[E]

That's if you do, you've got serious.

[D]

Maybe I wonder if the rubber. The squishy part separated. Oh, what do you call that? The bulb.

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

If the bulb came.

[D]

I wonder if the guy stuck it in and then. Wait a minute. All of a sudden.

[C]

Or maybe he was trying to get something out of there like one of those little baby ear.

[D]

Oh, so you think. Oh, see, he was putting in to remove the previous thing that he'd put in there.

[H]

Like another mouse sucker.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Are these almost exclusive?

[A]

What is that joke? What are you putting up There now. Oh, he's going in to get the other thing I put.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

It doesn't say, but are these primarily men?

[E]

It doesn't say.

[C]

Must be. If women want something up there, all they need to do is ask.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You will oblige them.

[D]

Once again. These are items found inside human rectums in emergency rooms across the. The. This great country of ours, courtesy of the U.S. consumer Product Safety Community.

[A]

Three pages.

[D]

It's a long show.

[H]

Is there anything fun?

[D]

Yes. How about this one?

[A]

Keep going.

[D]

There's a good one coming up.

[E]

Which one do you want?

[D]

The corn cob holder.

[E]

Oh, yeah. Holder.

[A]

Corn cob. Holder.

[C]

Tines out, right?

[E]

Oh, I think they mean the actual. They mean the actual corn. Little desk. The little dish that you put your corn cob in.

[C]

Oh, they don't mean the knifey or the needly things.

[E]

You think?

[H]

I don't know.

[A]

Or maybe they had them on the corn cob and it came off. Oh, boy.

[C]

Oh, boy.

[A]

Right.

[E]

Eyeglasses.

[A]

Eyeglasses. And my ass is near sighted. Yeah. Can you.

[C]

You know, I should really switch the context.

[A]

Hey, I don't care who you know.

[D]

You know, the doctor says that reminds me of that great song, Brown Eyed Girl. You ever hear Jimmy Buffett's version of that? Very nice.

[E]

We have more coming up.

[C]

Eyeglasses.

[D]

That is weird.

[C]

Maybe that stem feels.

[E]

Well, there is a girl. Because I do have a woman's quote in here.

[D]

Oh, what is it?

[E]

Possible rectal foreign body. She reports placing a small vibrator in her rectum. She does not remember removing it and cannot find it. I've looked everywhere you say, Chick, about the rectum.

[A]

It's a vacuum. Yeah, stuff. Stuff goes in there. If you lose, you got to have a string on it or it ain't coming out. And that's the sound it makes. Absolutely. So when it comes out, see now what?

[D]

Chick, McGee, you have your sports picks coming up, is that correct?

[A]

Thursday. Yeah. Playoff tradition. And whether you're starting a new routine or breaking player pick, making player picks for the first time, trying something new can be hard. But in life and on price picks, it always feels good to be right. High play, high pressure playoff matchups. Starting this weekend, elite hoops action every night. Action never stops. And on price picks, you simply pick two to six players more or less on their stat projections and submit your lineup. It's just that easy. They also have early payouts. If your lineup gets off to a hot start, you now have the option to cash out those winnings before the game. Even finishes. You can find community on prize picks. You can share prize picks with your friends and copy lineups from winners with a single click. Copy lineups you like or use them as inspiration for your own picks on the new social feed feature. Don't miss any of the action this season with prize picks. Where it's good to be right. Download the prize picks app today. Use the code tom and you get $50 bonus credit instantly in lineups when you play $5. That's code Tom. Prizepix. Get $50 bonus credit instantly in lineubs when you play $5. That'S 10 times your return. Prize picks. It's good to be right. Must be present in certain states. Visit prizepix.com for restrictions and details.

[D]

Thank you very much. A Coming up, what things have other people put up the old keister. Look around this room. What would you want to do?

[E]

What do you mean?

[C]

Are you asking us if we.

[D]

Oh, right in front of your face. Josh, you got that microphone. You could talk out your ass. Would you do that anyway?

[C]

Yeah, pretty much.

[D]

You missed me, didn't you? These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom show show.

[J]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Catch any part of the show you missed later today on our YouTube channel.

[D]

Next season.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. In the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios, there's Christy Lee.

[E]

Hi, Chick.

[A]

There's Pat Godwin. Hello. Jess Hooker.

[H]

Hello.

[A]

Josh Arnold.

[C]

Hi.

[A]

Ace Cosby.

[C]

Hello.

[A]

I'm Chick McGee at the Prize pick sports desk low Tom.

[D]

Hello. Chick Magie. We were in the middle of a scientific inquiry.

[E]

Yep.

[D]

Involving things in your bottom the. Yeah.

[A]

But to be foreign objects.

[E]

Foreign objects in 2025 that were removed in emergency this.

[D]

The source on this is the u. S. Consumer product safety commission survey of emergency rooms.

[E]

Right.

[D]

And very odd things people shove up the old keister.

[E]

For example, simple plastic cleanser bottle with the liquid still in it.

[D]

Well, that way you can clean up if you kind of. You kind of. How would you sort of. What's that called when you kind of squirt the kind of spritz. Yeah, I know, but I mean when you. When you use the muscles down there like a kegel exercise.

[H]

Yeah.

[D]

There. I feel a little squirt.

[A]

Ah. Huh.

[E]

Patient reports he slipped in the shower and a shampoo bottle went up to his rectum.

[C]

Isn't that a shame? Who hasn't been there? Yeah.

[A]

Million one shot.

[E]

Well, this patient states when he was in the shower he was bored Placed a shampoo bottle into his rectum.

[H]

At least he's honest.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Wonder what brand.

[C]

Ass and shoulders.

[F]

Gee, your butt smells terrific.

[C]

Selson Brown.

[A]

We could go on forever.

[C]

Yeah, we sure could.

[E]

A dental pick.

[D]

What is he going to do? Shove, rinse, repeat.

[A]

Do they still make Sels and blue?

[C]

I don't know.

[H]

Sure they do. Yeah, they do.

[E]

A dental pick. Whatever. Is that.

[C]

Oh, like a water pick.

[H]

Like trying to detail in there. I don't know.

[D]

Yeah, that would.

[C]

I mean, it's essentially a bidet.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, like a water picker.

[D]

Do they mean like one of these.

[E]

Or do they mean like a pick like Tom has?

[H]

Oh, like to pick your teeth. Like a toothpick.

[D]

Yeah, these things. Like this is, I don't know, plastic toothpick.

[C]

Like a flosser type deal.

[E]

A wine stopper. That makes sense. Plug it out.

[A]

Well, you're just asking to lose it in your butt.

[D]

Boy, do they get it out with a corkscrew.

[H]

Yeah.

[D]

How do they get this stuff out anyway? Do they?

[E]

They don't go into that.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

Yeah, it was the guy with the light bulb. Did we get to that one? Yeah.

[F]

Classic.

[E]

Yeah, he's. He.

[D]

But that's got to be incredibly dangerous. That glass breaks, you're gonna be, you.

[C]

Know, if you have an idea, the light bulb goes over your head. Maybe if you have a bad idea, it shows up in your ass.

[E]

Yeah, he said he inserted a light bulb into his rectum this morning with the glass side first. And due to the suction effect that chick is so mentioned, the bulb got sucked up.

[D]

You know what?

[H]

It could have been a refrigerator light bulb.

[D]

Okay. I just hope for the sake of the environment it was an led.

[E]

Here's one. Patient said they'd gone out with wife last night, had too many drinks.

[C]

I went out with wife last night.

[E]

Went home drunk. Wife inserted rubbery sex toy into a rectum. Unable to remove move. That age old story. I love a highlighter.

[A]

Well, that almost seems reasonable.

[E]

The yellow. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

After a lot of these and easy.

[A]

To find an aerosol can or a highlighter.

[E]

Highlighter or an invisible marker. Pretty much the same, I guess. Circumference, if you will. A lot of dildos. We have a 7 inch. We have an 18 inch. We have a 24.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

The 24 is only $3 more than the 17. So that's your best value.

[D]

The 18.

[E]

18 and a 24.

[D]

Does it disappear in there?

[A]

You don't want to buy the 13 then wish you bought the 17.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

Think about that.

[E]

The cat Headed vibrator. What is that?

[C]

I don't know.

[H]

I don't know. But somebody look it up.

[A]

Cat head vibrator.

[C]

My Google search is already.

[E]

Is it like the rabbit it kind of thing?

[D]

Yeah, I think it's probably just got it.

[H]

Probably ribbed.

[C]

Cat headed vibrator, you say?

[E]

Yeah, that's what it's like a cat head biscuit. A magic wand toy.

[D]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[H]

Well, your kids aren't going to want to play with that again.

[E]

Marbles.

[D]

More than one.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

They still make marbles?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Boulders. They make boulders. They call them boulders. Right. The bigger marbles. Remember those? Those.

[E]

Oh, I do, yeah. They were about that big around.

[A]

Yeah, like quarter. Like a 50 cent piece size.

[D]

It's almost a fair question. Do kids still play with marbles?

[A]

I don't. I can't imagine they would with video games out there.

[E]

Probably not. How about a film canister? Where'd you find one of those?

[A]

First of all, boy, you mean like.

[H]

Oh, like this?

[E]

That's old school.

[A]

Was it Christopher Nolan in the 70 millimeter? What are you talking about There.

[E]

A battery powered light. All right. A penny.

[A]

A penny.

[C]

You know you can only do that.

[A]

Although that would be funny. Swallow a knife and you. Crap.

[D]

That's a trick.

[A]

I'd like to see that. I'll be honest.

[E]

Okay, this is going to make you clench. Coat hanger was found inside his ans. He inserted the hanger during sexual activity. It's a plastic one though. He cut off the outside of the hangar so he could drive to the er.

[A]

Well, you'd have to. Yeah, let's not get ridiculous.

[D]

You can't get your pants out if you've got.

[H]

Oh my God.

[D]

Hanger hanging out your ass.

[C]

Hang.

[E]

Oh my God.

[A]

Why couldn't he get it out? Did the maybe use the hook? The hook must have been inside.

[E]

A sandal.

[A]

Like a wreath. One of those with. With the beer bottles. Opener on the. In the sole or whatever. One of those.

[D]

I think the weirdest one that I think Ms. Hooker will enjoy.

[H]

Oh, okay.

[D]

Uncooked pasta.

[E]

Yeah, I saw that one.

[A]

What?

[E]

Wouldn't that just break off? It wouldn't.

[C]

Well, what do you go with?

[E]

You've got to go with the big ones.

[C]

The nice penne or a nice fettuccine.

[E]

Bigger than that. I'm thinking the tube ones.

[C]

Oh, sure.

[D]

You can't. You can't cook.

[E]

Getting.

[D]

I mean it would be like playing pool with a rope.

[A]

No.

[C]

Yeah, that's very difficult to get a cooked noodle into your sphincter.

[E]

But you have to be like a rigatoni. Right?

[A]

I would think the pasta would.

[D]

Wouldn't it, eventually soften up and just.

[A]

Yeah, the moisture. The moisture would.

[H]

It is warm up there.

[E]

Piece of nose hair trimmer. Which piece?

[F]

The tip.

[C]

I don't know, because I'm going all of it.

[D]

We can probably wrap it up, I.

[C]

Think, you know, the. The guy that had the sandal in his ass, it was particularly embarrassing because he was also wearing socks. And that's just the faux pas.

[E]

Pat, do you have a song for us?

[F]

Battery, candle wax, chest piece, beads of glass, pen, pencil, comb kit, a five string banjo, apple stems, apple core and apple watch. An Apple store. Rusty old microphone, pair of Sony headphones. Didn't put it up my rectum. So how it got there, Doctor, is a mystery. The X ray did detect them. I must have sat on it accidentally. Plastic fork, metal spoon, wax, straw, super glue, lightsaber, venti cup, Ariana Grande, iPhone 17. Kennedy's vaccine, a bat, rapid fist, queen.

[D]

A ring from Liberace.

[F]

I didn't put it up my rack. So how it got there, Doctor, is a mystery. The X ray did detect them. I must have sat on it accidentally. Goes on and on from here up your rear.

[D]

Oh, there's one. Did you see this one? A corn cob pipe.

[E]

I did see that, but you cut me off.

[C]

Yeah, a corn cob pipe, olive oil.

[A]

And Popeye going at it.

[C]

Frosty went, you know, I don't need that back.

[D]

No, he melted. He was in there with him. All they saw was a puddle of top.

[C]

At one point, the guy turned around. Hey, where'd you go?

[A]

Oh, don't cry. I'll be back someday.

[C]

Happy birthday.

[D]

A set of Allen wrenches.

[C]

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

[D]

Isn't that one of those tools? You've got like 30 of them at your house.

[E]

Isn't one of them enough? Why would you put a whole set in there?

[C]

Oh, you got the little different sizes, but. Oh, you mean for the ass.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

By the way, metric. Was yours metric or.

[A]

Never mind, man.

[D]

What's coming up in the news, Christy Lee?

[E]

Well, if that didn't make you happy, how about $400,000 worth of lobsters stolen?

[D]

We haven't done our circumcision story.

[E]

I didn't. I was. I was just trying to hide it.

[A]

Just to backtrack. 41 dead.

[E]

I didn't want to go from rectums to circumcisions that quickly.

[F]

Yeah, you need a buffer.

[E]

Thank you.

[D]

There you go.

[H]

There you go.

[C]

Thank you.

[D]

Well, we have Interesting news about contraceptive activities in China.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, all right.

[D]

Kind of. Kind of fascinating. It's all happening here in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[J]

Add to or continue the conversation. Check out the Bob and Tom show on Facebook. Get the [e-mail]. this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[E]

Hey, Chick.

[A]

There's Pat Godwin. Hello, Jess Hooker. Hi, Josh Arnold.

[C]

Hi, there.

[A]

He's the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick mcgee at the Prize Picks sports desk. Hello, Tom.

[D]

Hello, Chick McGee. Good seeing you guys. Hope everybody had a nice break. Break. We're back.

[C]

Yes, you, too.

[D]

2026 is here to stay. Can't go back.

[A]

Nope.

[C]

Never go back.

[A]

Haven't figured out time travel yet.

[E]

Nope.

[D]

We're moving forward. We have Christy Lee over there.

[E]

Did you make any resolutions?

[A]

Well, I. I think he.

[E]

Well, okay. Beside.

[A]

Didn'T you may. I'm waiting for it.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

I'm sorry. I didn't. I meant, did you. You.

[D]

Did you decide anything you're gonna.

[E]

I like to look forward to doing more good things. Maybe.

[A]

Oh, boy. This is going to sound weird. And I don't. I don't know why I'm sharing it, but here we go. I made New Year's resolution. No more audibles.

[E]

What do you mean?

[A]

When I get up in the morning, I have my clothes out.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And like, four times out of five, I'll. I'll switch it up.

[E]

Really?

[A]

I. I don't want to. Yeah. So I put something back and I. This year, no more audibles. Whatever's out, I'm gonna wear.

[E]

That's what you're gonna wear?

[A]

Yep. Interesting. How exciting is that?

[C]

Hey, whatever. Whatever.

[A]

Yep. Because I can figure out for the audible. Maybe I'll use that tomorrow. See, you know what?

[E]

I.

[D]

That, that does interest me because I usually have all my stuff out, too.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I like that.

[H]

Wow.

[A]

Although, as Josh pointed out to us in a. Well, mean way, get your underwear out of the drawer and put it out. Yeah, it just sits there in the drawer. Why. Why don't you just get it down to the drawer in the morning? I don't do it that way.

[D]

Way not.

[A]

Same for the socks.

[C]

You know, I don't remember saying that, but.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Oh. It really made an impression, you know? You know that one other morning when he told me words have different meanings and yeah, it's the same thing.

[C]

I see. No, I respect.

[A]

I talk through that every week.

[C]

Yeah, any. Anybody's morning ritual. Do what you got to do.

[H]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

I'm. I just get up, get a dress and get out.

[A]

I do my. I also, I started something at 25 and going to continue on 26. The hillbilly cold plunge.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I. I get in the hot shower as hot as I can stand it. I take care of business then get out and stand in the bathroom.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

Oh, it's terrifying. No, no towel. Just stand there. Just drip all over your floor in my glorious own. Yes.

[D]

I mean, do you.

[A]

Yeah, no, I have a towel.

[D]

Do you have a radio or TV going? I mean, you just are just standing.

[A]

I have some jams going. I'll. I'll come out of the shower. I listen to salt and pepper Morning.

[C]

That'll get you going.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Are your dogs standing real good?

[A]

Oh, yeah, they're guarding me. They're helping me.

[E]

Do you have music on in the morning?

[D]

No, no, no tv.

[E]

What do you.

[D]

No, no, no. I'm quiet as him, but I. I dry off with a towel. Cuz I'm an American with. Glad the western civilization is perfect.

[A]

I'd like to stand there for a bit.

[F]

Well, air dry is very healthy in the cold.

[A]

Yeah, it gets your blood.

[C]

How long would you say?

[A]

30, 45 minutes? No, no, five minutes. I try to go five minutes.

[C]

That's pretty good. That's really good.

[A]

Really cold.

[D]

I don't have that kind of time. Now, for example, my underwear, I have set in such a way that I can pick it up and the front part is facing front automatically so I can step right into it.

[A]

Gosh. I'm beginning to understand what you were trying to tell us all those months ago.

[C]

Tom, have you reached a point with.

[A]

Your age where you're going to get.

[C]

Some help nowhere you do you. Can you still put your underwear on standing up?

[D]

Of course.

[C]

Okay. All right.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Well, I'm 40.

[D]

You have to sit.

[H]

No, like one.

[C]

I don't have to sit, but there are times where I. My foot kind of misses. I hit the waistband and I think I'm dead.

[A]

I have almost. I've almost flipped myself over. Yeah, absolutely.

[D]

Maybe it's the pilates, but my, my level of underwear coordination is pretty good.

[C]

Yeah. I've gotten to the point where I just can't rush it. I have to focus on.

[D]

Kelly's asleep. I am creeping around.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I'm trying to be very. I don't want to Wake up the dogs either.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

If they're up, I'm never looking.

[A]

Well, let me tell you, the dogs.

[E]

Look at me and go.

[A]

The dogs know you're awake. They're just not getting up.

[E]

They don't want to get up.

[D]

It goes for retriever. He'd rather just sneak past. I'm taking a nap. It's cold out there.

[E]

Right.

[D]

But, yeah, no, I've got everything laid down.

[C]

All right.

[A]

I can't put, I can't put socks on standing up. I don't know what. That's crazy good, right?

[C]

Yeah, that's, that's good core balance.

[A]

Yeah. Whole thing.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Can you.

[D]

Yeah, of course.

[E]

You can put on socks at a time.

[H]

There's no way in hell. There is no way in hell that you're putting on one sock at a time.

[A]

Well, remember, though, standing up, his socks.

[C]

Are he, he scissors. The tops are loose. Yeah. So they're very loose.

[D]

I do all that, but I, and I. Oh, my God. But I like, I like to have a chick. Makes a good point here calling. Usually, I've got. Okay, I'm gonna wear one of these 12 black shirts, right? One of these 12 pairs of jeans. But every once. Well, I will do an audible. Wait a minute. I'm gonna wear a thinner one today.

[A]

Exactly.

[D]

All right.

[A]

Exactly.

[H]

Do you ever lay out, like, a risky outfit? Like something that you're afraid we're gonna make fun of? Well, no, you call the audible.

[E]

Oh, the.

[A]

I, I, I got different jeans, and these aren't as dark as I normally wear.

[E]

Oh, God, they're awful.

[A]

See, that's what I was expecting.

[D]

Let me say, stand up.

[H]

Are those fake hems on the side?

[A]

What? I don't think so.

[C]

I bet they're not awful. They're not awful.

[H]

No, I was joking. I was just, you know, I was joking.

[D]

Very nice. Very nice.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Well, that's your New Year's. And so, Pat, do you have a New Year's resolution?

[F]

Yeah, I mean, I'm just getting real healthy and going to the gym every day. Doing the cold plunge for five minutes at the gym.

[A]

Honestly. Cold plunge?

[D]

Yeah, 40 degrees.

[A]

Every day.

[D]

Doing every day.

[F]

I've just, I've just kept it, Kept at it, you know.

[C]

Very good.

[F]

No breaks during our vacation. Every day, a little pickle ball, a little cold plunge, little weight training, strength training. Yeah.

[H]

Good.

[C]

That's great.

[D]

Okay, Christy, you're just going to be good to people.

[E]

Well, I'm also. This, this is gonna sound, I'm gonna say no more often. I, I protect Your time. Yes, I gotta.

[D]

You're saying no more often.

[H]

Yeah.

[D]

You know about this.

[A]

She went over with it.

[E]

Accepting invitations.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[H]

Yeah.

[D]

Makes sense.

[G]

Yeah.

[D]

Very good.

[E]

Say I do.

[C]

Remember, everybody, make your resolutions. And if. If you. You drop the ball one day, you don't have to wait until next year. You can pick it up later that day or tomorrow.

[H]

Keep practicing, whatever.

[E]

Yeah, and get out of my way at the gym.

[C]

And stay out of Christie's way at the gym.

[D]

All right.

[C]

She's a bully here in the hallways, and she's a bully at the gym.

[A]

Oh, such a bully.

[E]

January's a tough month.

[D]

We've been talking about circumcision all day. We probably should get to the story.

[E]

41 young men have died as a result of circumcision procedures in South Africa. According to ABC News, the deadly procedures were part of a traditional initiation ceremonies which are practiced by various ethnic groups throughout Africa.

[C]

Well, time for the circumcisions. Get the machine gun.

[E]

The laws for initiation schools to be registered with authorities. But this is not stopped the proliferation of illegal initiation schools where many of the deaths are reported.

[D]

How do you talk these guys into this? These are adults.

[E]

I deep. I did a deep dive on this. And these schools are required by. Apparently the parents send their kids there. And because they're so expensive, a lot of these illegal ones pop up. But here's the deal. According to the story, the young men are advised not to drink any water after the circumcision to heal faster. And that's part of the problem.

[C]

I mean, is this. Do we care?

[E]

Yes, people are dying unnecessarily.

[C]

Yeah, but aren't these. Aren't they in the middle of nowhere? I mean, if it wasn't this, it would have been a cheetah anyway.

[E]

Hasn't anybody told.

[A]

Coconut falling on their head.

[C]

Who knows?

[E]

They can do circumcision as infants. They don't have to wait till they're almost adults.

[A]

Well, there's probably some.

[D]

It's bones.

[A]

Ritual, whatever some witch doctor saying, essentially. Yeah, this and that.

[C]

We don't.

[D]

Crappy way to bring in the new year. Well, we're going to lop off the tip of your.

[C]

Peter. Yeah. I mean, they weren't going to be men of industry.

[A]

Great thinkers.

[D]

I guess the one guy's really, really happy, though, because he heard that. Because he gets to keep all the tips. And there's no tax on them anymore. If you heard. I don't know about that.

[E]

Speaking of taxes, the Chinese government is now taxing condoms and birth Control drugs in a bid to spur the country's declining birth rate.

[C]

You know, China, you have a history.

[A]

Where sticking your nose for a while.

[C]

There, people were kind of afraid to have kids.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Particularly of a potato one. Sex.

[E]

Yeah. Especially if you had a girl.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. And now you're wondering why you have to. All right.

[E]

Chinese officials removed a three decade old tax exemption on contraceptives, which now incur a tax of 13%. The move comes after China's population fell for a third consecutive year in 2024.

[D]

They want people to have kids.

[E]

Yep. A series of so called fertility friendly measures in 2024 have been instituted, such as urging colleges and universities to provide so called love education.

[C]

Love education?

[A]

Yes.

[E]

To portray marriage, love, fertility and family in a positive light.

[C]

Well, yeah, that's. That's a nice thing, but come on, I.

[D]

So this is a complete reversal.

[E]

Yeah, complete.

[D]

So what? Japan. Same thing right there.

[E]

Japan's having problems as well, but love education.

[D]

So that they're just. In other words, it's sexy time. They're showing them how this thing works.

[A]

Yeah. Do people really need that much instruction?

[D]

Maybe they do.

[H]

There's some culture where your mom watches you have sex for the first time if you're a boy to make sure that you're doing it right. I'm not kidding. Like the mom's like, I have to make sure the first time that you're doing it that you're doing it correctly.

[A]

Huh.

[H]

And then she critiques him.

[C]

Him.

[H]

And then that way he knows how to do it.

[E]

Right.

[C]

And you imagine.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

Now I know what. Now I know what happened to Jim Morrison.

[E]

Well, they used to do that, obviously in the. The English would do it with queens and kings to make sure that everything was intact.

[H]

Everything.

[E]

Yes, they did that. And then they would watch on their. On the night of. To make sure they were consummated. That the marriage was consummated.

[C]

Yes. Yes. Terrific. Rogering.

[D]

As I say, Prince.

[C]

No, no, no, no, no.

[D]

With the lady. The lady. Not, not, not with, not with Clyde.

[C]

Leave Clyde be.

[D]

Just for now. I know you had a nice time at Eton, but those days are gone.

[A]

Man.

[D]

Well, yes.

[C]

I wonder if. If it's also here in the US if a population has declined in the last year.

[H]

Yes.

[C]

Because we've done plenty of stories and we've all heard about kids aren't as interested in dating and family life and schools are closing.

[A]

Less alcohol being drank.

[C]

Schools are closed.

[D]

Yeah. Because there aren't as many kids.

[E]

I did not know that.

[A]

I didn't I've heard this.

[D]

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[A]

So something we can panic about.

[C]

Schools are close. We don't have enough children, so we have to close the school.

[A]

What are you saying?

[D]

Yeah, they're a school district. There aren't enough kids anymore.

[A]

I'm sorry. Excuse me, Professor Harebrained. What are we.

[D]

What are you saying? Wow. Schools are close, but the point of the story is that the next. The next massive Covid like thing will become sexually transmitted. Is that what I'm hearing? Those wacky Chinese. Hey, you make me want to.

[A]

Want to have a cup of coffee.

[C]

Oh, good.

[D]

You know what we're doing here? We have asked the folks at Java House to help us out in our coffee room. We call it the green room here. And we have all kinds of coffee in there and not to mention tea and energy drinks like this one right here. They are little pods. It's from Java House. You can revolutionize the coffee room at your workplace. You got a pod over there, Christy? There you go.

[E]

I sure do. This one is the Ted's famous white peach green tea cold brew. These are good, aren't they? You just peel and pour and pour it.

[D]

You don't need a machine of any kind. Our break room is full of different things from Java House. I'm having the tea myself. I know Josh is a fan of the hot cocoa, but you've got your lattes and various exotic coffees and teas as well. Get the details by visiting javahouse.com. they've got all your break room needs. And it's all, like I said, easy. You peel and pour. You don't have to have a machine. And that would include things like lattes, espressos, etc. The best part, all your break room needs are on hand. All you need is hot and cold water. So don't have a break room breakdown shop at Java house. Go to javahouse.com tell them the Bob and Tom show sent you. Java House, the official beverage service of the Bob and Tom Show. Coming up, a lobster heist and a surprise. Waymo and a wallaby. A couple of wallabies on the loose. We'll find out where they are and what's going to happen to you. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[E]

Hello.

[A]

She's at the Silac Insurance news desk. There's Pat Godwin.

[F]

Hey, chick.

[A]

There's Jeff.

[H]

Hello.

[A]

There's Josh Arnold.

[I]

Hi there.

[A]

He's the I8. Steven Singer, Sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby.

[C]

Howdy.

[A]

I'm Chick mcgee at the Prize Pick sports desk. Hello, Tom.

[D]

Hello, Chick. Christy. What else you got?

[E]

Over there, a freight company says thieves.

[A]

What does the freight company say?

[F]

That was good.

[E]

They've stole $400,000 worth of lobster that was headed to Costco.

[A]

Yeah, they did.

[E]

Dylan Rexing, the president in Chief, chief executive of Rexing Companies, said the complex scheme involved the perp impersonating a truck driver as they picked up the shipment from a cold storage center in Towton, Massachusetts.

[D]

So is 400,000 bucks is one truckload of lobster.

[E]

The shipment of lobsters, which were not alive, was destined for Costco warehouses in Minnesota and Illinois, but it has since vanished. So apparently, it was just one truck. Mr. Rexing said the FBI is investigating.

[G]

Investigating?

[D]

They're trying to find a truck full of clarified butter.

[C]

Yes. The accompanying.

[A]

Objective. Delicious.

[D]

Costco's boiling mad. How do you get rid of 4,000 bucks worth of frozen lobster? What do you. How do you fence that exactly?

[E]

In a parking lot somewhere. Yeah.

[C]

Stolen lobsters.

[F]

Is that just the tails, Jess? Obviously.

[C]

What do you think?

[H]

No, that's a full lobster, right?

[E]

I don't know. They were frozen. Are they?

[C]

Could be claws, could be tails.

[H]

Yeah, it could be all of it.

[A]

Well, we could speculate all day.

[D]

As long as the. As long as the Costco hot dogs are safe, we're okay. Boy, they are good.

[A]

A Costco pizza.

[E]

Never had it.

[A]

Oh, it's so good.

[E]

Is it really?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Tell you what. There's always a crowd.

[E]

There is always a crowd.

[A]

You got. You have to. Wait, There's a line.

[E]

Well, now they have that automated system where you have to. I. I'm confused. Okay.

[D]

Now, the lobster. The lobster guy in this room is Pat Godwin.

[F]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

That's his big thing, right?

[F]

That's his big thing.

[A]

Is that what you got your son for Christmas? Your lobster?

[F]

No, but New Year's Eve, we did that.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, no.

[C]

Oh, you did.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

Very nice.

[F]

King crab claws. Boy, they're proud of them.

[H]

Yeah. Yes.

[F]

Cooked them at home. Yeah.

[H]

Just steamed them.

[D]

Yeah.

[I]

Delicious.

[F]

Sort of.

[C]

Extra stolen lobsters. Finally, the lobsters are pinched two time, I think.

[A]

Two time. At least one time.

[D]

Well worth the wait.

[A]

Two time. Head coach of the year, Cleveland LeBron. Kevin Stefanski has been fired. I'm Stefanski, Cleveland, Starting over. Sorry, Tom.

[E]

Sorry, Tom.

[A]

Your Browns fired the head man?

[C]

Or do you like this news?

[D]

I don't know. I Don't know. I wonder. Do you always blame the coach when everybody. Sometimes when you're plagued by injuries and terrible decisions that other people have made.

[E]

Down the years before, somebody's got to be held responsible.

[D]

Right. Okay.

[A]

For instance, if we wanted to fire some people around here, I mean, who would. Who would you start with?

[D]

I mean. Oh, hang on a sec. I gotta get my list.

[A]

That's what I thought.

[C]

I don't know.

[F]

That is an evolving list.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. Whatever changes.

[A]

I've always said. I've always said when. If the show doesn't succeed. Well, if the show succeeds, it's Tom's fault. If it fails, it's my fault. Fault. I've always said that. And there's something.

[C]

Tom says that, too.

[A]

I am sure he does. Yes. Well, you know why.

[D]

So, Pat, I have a question for you. I'm to get back to the lobster.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Did. I didn't understand. Did you make the lobsters at home or did you go out and eat them at the. At a restaurant?

[F]

I did it at home. Everything at home this time. Yeah. Lobster tails and the king crab.

[A]

So does your apartment smell like old seafood now?

[H]

An old mermaid. Is that what you.

[A]

I was gonna go with some sort of of.

[D]

I knew you were going with something.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

In the history of going to. I have never once ever ordered something where it says market price. You ever done that?

[C]

Yeah, I never have either.

[D]

I haven't either, because, you know it's going to be ridiculous.

[E]

Well, I. I mean, if you ever. Anytime you order lobster, it's going to say market price.

[D]

No, I don't. I.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

I've never had lobster at a restaurant in my life.

[F]

Crab is ridiculous price. Once.

[A]

You've never had lobster?

[D]

No. Yeah, no, I'm. I've had it at home. I've never. The only. That's not true. I forgot there was a place in Maine. Oh.

[E]

Lobster roll.

[A]

Tom Wolf and I were there.

[D]

I forgot they had.

[C]

This was pre. Bonfire vanity.

[A]

You know, Tom. My name. My name's Tom. Oh, that's amazing.

[D]

Lobster pizza.

[H]

What?

[A]

I bet that's good.

[C]

I have had it at Red Lobster.

[D]

Yeah, this was. I. I just. It was delicious, but. Yeah, but because you. When you. Whenever you see it for anything where it says market price, it's always scary.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

So in this case. How did you word it, Josh, with the big lobster heist? What happened again?

[C]

This was a rare case where the lobsters were pinched.

[D]

Oh, I love that.

[F]

Funnier the second time, I think.

[A]

You know what? I'd like to agree with my friend Pat. Hilarious. He second time around. Even better, man.

[C]

I saw a lobster in a tank the other day. He must have been trying to remember something. He was clearly a forgetful lobster because he had a rubber band around his clothes.

[A]

Well, maybe he's trying to lose some weight.

[D]

Do any of the stores still. I haven't seen one of those in a while. The store that I used to go to that had the lobster tank folded.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

When I was a kid.

[C]

God.

[A]

I ironically. Laundromat when I was a kid. When I was a kid, Tom said, I love the lobster tank.

[C]

I'm with. I still do.

[D]

Really?

[C]

Yes, absolutely. I always take a look.

[H]

I always thought you still have it at Red Lobster.

[F]

I do indeed.

[C]

Now these days, it's a little sadder. There's only like two.

[D]

Oh, it's true.

[F]

It is, yeah.

[E]

Can you still pick the lobster, though, out of the tank?

[F]

You can do whatever you want. You're the guy with them.

[D]

No, they don't feed them. Right.

[C]

They must do something.

[A]

They're alive somehow.

[F]

They don't see them at a table.

[D]

Claude, Table for two, Claude. Very nice.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

But I guess the average person doesn't really care about a stolen lobster thing. I mean, if it were the folks at Costco Ranch Dressing.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

Would you buy lobster off a truck in a parking lot or the side of the room like you would flowers?

[D]

No, no, no.

[C]

I bet they're fine, in fact, if you're wonderful. Particularly New England. I bet they're incredible.

[H]

Oh, yeah. Probably.

[D]

Do they have stands in New England like it's. They like sweet corn.

[C]

They do.

[A]

Oh, they're everywhere.

[D]

They go to a farmer's market, and there's a guy with.

[A]

They have lobster out on the. Out on the table, and you take a penny, leave a pen, and you just grab a lobster.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Take it to your car.

[C]

Have you ever check. Have you ever ordered the full lobster?

[A]

Yeah, we did that in the Bahamas one year.

[C]

Wow. Yeah. I've never done it.

[A]

It was the biggest one. It was on display. I got that one. It was ridiculous.

[E]

Christine, were you so hard to open and clean it out?

[D]

Were you at that event? I went to an event a few years ago. Were you there with. They. It was crazy seafood thing, and they gave everybody these huge gloves. And you.

[E]

I've gone to a lobster event. Yes.

[D]

And.

[E]

And for the opera.

[C]

The hammers and the pliers.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

The whole thing and everything. Yes, I've done that.

[H]

That's fun.

[D]

That was fun.

[A]

You have them break them up in the kitchen. For you, don't you? That's what I do.

[D]

No, this was this. The whole thing about this was they gave you all the tools and everybody was doing it together.

[A]

It was fun.

[C]

So that is an option.

[A]

Oh, yeah. They bring to your table?

[C]

Sure.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely.

[D]

How do you feel about the mud vein? You like to suck it out with a straw or just wipe it down?

[A]

You just are mystified by poop, aren't you?

[C]

Loves poop.

[A]

Loves.

[E]

I didn't talk about poop for two weeks.

[A]

Not that long ago, we had a list of everything stuck in butt.

[D]

Two hours.

[A]

That's like the things that are going on in the world. Here we are.

[C]

I am just realizing there. I don't think I discussed poop.

[E]

No, not any of us.

[H]

No.

[C]

That is really.

[H]

Nobody.

[C]

We're so you.

[D]

I mean, day.

[C]

Inundated.

[D]

I know, Inundated. Covered in poop. Let's move on.

[H]

He didn't talk about it for two weeks either.

[C]

You think.

[A]

He doesn't get away?

[C]

I bet whoever he was on the ski lift with, he went, wouldn't it be funny if I pooped up?

[E]

I bet.

[D]

Really well, more poop than there is snow.

[E]

Authorities in Los Angeles say a woman bound a man hiding inside the trunk of a Waymo car.

[A]

Hey, how you doing?

[E]

You recall that Waymos are driverless.

[C]

This is horrifying.

[E]

Video shared on Tick Tock shows the vehicle pulling up to the curb. But when the doors open, a man can be seen inside tucked behind the back seat in the trunk area.

[A]

Let me ask you this.

[C]

You want to close that? I'm sleeping.

[A]

The Waymo people thought of, I think, something. The word snows. Is that a problem for the Waymo cars?

[D]

I mean, typically, I think if there's someone hiding in the. The back of a vehicle, they have good intentions. Let's give them the benefit of the doubt.

[A]

That's.

[D]

That's pretty standard.

[C]

But if you're unhoused, as they say, right. Sleeping in a trunk, not. Not a terrible idea.

[F]

No.

[E]

It's warm.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

No, I guess you don't necessarily get.

[F]

To choose where you're going or you.

[C]

Don'T get to choose where you're going or when you get out or if you get out.

[E]

The woman recording the video called 911. And later in the clip, officers are seen detaining the man.

[C]

Or do a lot of trunks these days. Do they have a. Do they have a way for a person?

[D]

They do.

[E]

Oh, yeah. Yeah, we could get in the.

[H]

Yeah, we could get in a trunk right now and there's an emergency release.

[C]

Oh, that's so fun.

[D]

I didn't know that.

[E]

Oh yeah.

[D]

I would have spent that week at the airport.

[A]

You know what? Let's put Tom in the trunk and see if he can get out.

[D]

I didn't really.

[A]

Yeah.

[H]

Yeah. It's a T shaped. You can pull it with your fingers.

[D]

But I. I haven't had a car with a trunk in.

[H]

Right.

[D]

30 years.

[H]

Yeah. You could crawl over the back seat.

[D]

All I have are SUVs.

[H]

Yeah.

[E]

It was not clear how the man got into the driverless car.

[D]

When's the last time you had a car?

[C]

Car. It's been a while. Yeah.

[A]

Automakers aren't making them anymore.

[E]

Right.

[A]

Except for very few exceptions.

[H]

I had one.

[A]

Sedans are out, baby.

[E]

We have one. We have a sedan.

[D]

You do?

[A]

Okay, let me guess. It's like a Mercury marquee or something.

[D]

No, it's. Marcus, you illiterate or it's just a giant Mercedes.

[A]

Giant. Tom Griswold and Tom Wolf. That you would know them. All right.

[E]

It's an older Mercedes.

[C]

So this guy was arrested.

[E]

It doesn't say whether he was arrested.

[A]

How dare you get us back on track.

[E]

Called the incident unacceptable and said it was making changes to address it.

[D]

So what? So the guy probably got into the Waymo and then somehow got back in before the next customer came home.

[H]

I mean, he didn't attack her.

[A]

He didn't do anything.

[D]

But still, would you be comfortable knowing that there was a guy in the back seat?

[E]

No.

[D]

Breathing heavy.

[C]

Can you imagine if you were sitting in a Waymo by yourself and you heard someone else sneeze?

[H]

No.

[D]

Yeah. Now isn't there a Mr. Oski was saying that when he was on. Isn't there. You can get. Always get out right? In a Waymo.

[E]

There's a. I thought Jeff couldn't get out of his.

[C]

Well, he rolled his windows down to make sure no matter what happened.

[H]

Yeah, he got nervous about that. Yeah.

[C]

Because they're in San Francisco. Right. Are a lot of people. People doing Lombard street in them? Because that's a good way to do it.

[D]

Boy.

[H]

I guess.

[D]

Is that the. That's the big strainer.

[C]

The crazy curvy.

[A]

Is that Vince Lombardi Street?

[C]

What is Lombard.

[A]

Lombard.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Sorry.

[D]

Okay. Well, let's push on. Chrissy, what else have you got?

[C]

Vince?

[E]

A runaway wallaby was found in the parking lot of a New Jersey Walmart store. Lots of Love Farm reported that the wallaby named Rex was captured in the Williamstown Walmart on Tuesday night. The farm noted that this was Rex's second trip to Walmart.

[C]

I like this name Rex because of course it reminds us of our buddy Chad Daniels.

[A]

Joke.

[H]

Yes.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[C]

Kangaroo should be called Tyrannosaurus deer.

[D]

But see this, There's a lesson here. Well, if you're gonna go to the store.

[H]

Yeah.

[D]

Always make a list.

[E]

Oh, because he forgot something. He had to go back.

[D]

Well, I had to go back before he got caught.

[C]

Do you check every kangaroo and or wallaby for shoplifting when they leave a store?

[A]

Well, you'd have to.

[D]

And did we determine that only the females.

[E]

Only the females have a pouch.

[H]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[A]

The way nature intended. Woman's in charge of the babies and that's.

[H]

And that's that. And the baby grows in that pouch. It's not inside of her.

[E]

Right?

[D]

Right.

[E]

Yeah. It's in the pouch. She can take it out the baby.

[C]

It's never ever inside of her.

[H]

It's never ever inside of her.

[A]

No, look it up.

[C]

No, I mean I'm not doubting you. I just.

[H]

No, I think it's. It's the. The gestation is external. I think it's in the pouch.

[A]

Yeah, that's.

[C]

So does the guy.

[H]

Man, if I'm making that up.

[F]

You're making what does the guy open.

[A]

The pouch and complete into just dumps it in.

[C]

I did that once to a woman's person. She was not happy.

[A]

That's the only thing you can relate to too. Was a nice burst too.

[C]

Katie Spade.

[A]

Kate Spade.

[D]

Wow. We now. Now we're going to have to do some homework.

[H]

I don't know. I can't remember if it's true.

[F]

Okay.

[E]

Do you want me to tell you?

[H]

Is it true?

[E]

The gestation period for kangaroo is very short. 33 to 44 days depending on the kangaroo rats. Resulting in tiny underdeveloped newborns that crawl into the pouch to continue developing on a te. But yeah. So they're very tiny like so the.

[D]

Original depos you will. The seed does not go into the pouch.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

No.

[D]

Ergo the lady was upset when you.

[C]

Did it to her purse.

[D]

Yes, I would have ordered it more delicately.

[A]

I bet the kangaroos do it doggy style too. You know all the animals can't do it doggy style.

[H]

Their tails are in the way.

[A]

They find a way.

[C]

Yeah, but if they do it missionary just looks like a game of rock em sock em robots. They must get their fists up.

[A]

And speaking of that, what's kangaroos and boxes? All the kangaroos box.

[F]

They get a portia Box.

[E]

Jess, this is fascinating. The newborn the size of a jelly bean. And after birth, immediately the little joey crawls unassisted up the mother's fur into her pouch.

[D]

So are they Joey's, even if they're ladies?

[E]

Yes.

[D]

So Joey Heatherton versus Joey Bishop.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Once again, as fresh as today's headlines, Joey Bishop and Joey Ashley Heatherton. Can you hear the cacophonous thundering to Google right now?

[C]

How much would you pay to watch Tom box a kangaroo? Are we talking thousands?

[A]

I'd have to do it twice because I'd be laughing so hard the first time.

[C]

Would you pay $5,000?

[A]

Absolutely.

[D]

Okay. No, thank you.

[A]

And I pay your $5,000 so we can enjoy it together.

[D]

Right now, I want to say hello and thanks to Homestead for sponsoring the Bob and Tom Show. You protect your health. You got health insurance. I hope you protect your car. You've got car insurance. Maybe you've got insurance on your phone or even on your dog, which, by the way, I highly recommend. What about your house? What about that giant investment? You might have insurance, but does it cover the little stuff? The stuff that can really drive you nuts, like a burst pipe in your plumbing system, H vac breakdowns, et cetera, et cetera? This is where HomeServe comes in. It's like a subscription for your house. For as little as $4.99 a month, they've got your back. So when those weird repairs hit out of nowhere and suddenly you've got that leak in the septic system or something's buzzing in the ceiling and there are sparks coming out, you don't want to have to wait around. HomeServe has a 24. 7 hotline, so you can schedule that repair and choose a plan that works for you. And there are a whole bunch of different ones. And get all the details by going to homeserve.com so you can help protect all those systems in your house and protect your wallet, too. Use HomeServe and you'll check out what exactly repairs are covered, et cetera, et cetera. The plan start at just 499amonth. Once again, you visit homeserve.com and find the plan that's right for you. That's homeserve.com not available everywhere. See if you can get it where you live. Most plans, like I said, range from $4.99 a month to $11.99 a month for the first year. Year Terms of Plan Covered Repairs Details homeserve.com Coming up, a little bit of history for you and more from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[J]

This is the Bob and Tom Show. Reach us toll free at 1-88-8-BOB, Tom1 [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[E]

Hey, Chick.

[A]

Hey, there's Pat Godwin. Hello. Hey, there's Jess Hooker. Hi, Josh Arnold.

[C]

Hello.

[A]

He's at the I hate Stephen Singer, sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick mcgee at the Prize Picks sports desk. Hello, Tom.

[D]

Want to go through a little bit of history?

[A]

Certainly could.

[D]

This is something I think Ms. Hooker won. Ms. Hook. Hooker might get this one. In 1980, the first. This is considered to be the first hip hop top 40 hit. The sugar Hill Gang.

[H]

You remember the song, something about a ride or a roller coaster? Does that sound right?

[E]

No.

[A]

Or maybe a hotel.

[H]

Oh, Hotel Motel. But that's not the name of the song.

[D]

No, but here. Here's a little bit.

[A]

Does this go all the way to the wonder Mike part? I like My name is One to Mike.

[D]

Yeah. It's a really interesting background to that song.

[A]

Yes. Please tell us.

[D]

A lot of the people that created it didn't get the money.

[H]

Oh.

[D]

But it's. It's. It's based on a tune from what? From Chic, right?

[A]

I think so, yeah.

[D]

The Rift.

[H]

I remember they re released. Released it in. When I was in high school. They did in the late 90s, and my mom knew every word, and I was like, oh, my gosh, this is so embarrassing.

[D]

Yeah. I would be rappers delight, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'd be they. But when I did, I'd answer the request line and it was always, play Hotel Motel.

[H]

Just like that.

[D]

Yep. Okay.

[A]

Not. Not nearly enough flavor for me.

[D]

Not enough street for you. Play Hotel Motel.

[A]

There it is.

[D]

Okay. You want to hear a little bit more of it? Here we go.

[A]

If your girl starts acting up, then.

[E]

You take a friend.

[C]

I say, skip. I remember that. Fellas, if you're unhappy with this, your.

[A]

Current relationship, go to find her friend. Yes, she's got a friend.

[F]

That always works out.

[H]

That's a great song for the roller rink.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[H]

So good.

[D]

And the taking a friend up notion also appears in a classic from the Allman Brothers.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[D]

Your sister Lucille said she'd want to go, I think.

[E]

No idea what you're talking.

[A]

Of course not. No one does. No one does. He's on an island.

[E]

What song is that in?

[D]

Baby, do you want to go? The. The notion. If she doesn't want to go with him. If she doesn't want to go with him, he's going to take her sister Lucille.

[A]

Josh brings a good point. What else happened this day in history?

[C]

Well, that maybe everyone would enjoy.

[A]

Let's see now.

[D]

Yes. Oh, this is good, Chick.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Stand by.

[A]

Okay, standing by.

[D]

Christy.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Stand by. Bad. Standby. Okay, Dom. Standby. The first record of a legal divorce in the American colonies took place in 1643.

[E]

Whoa.

[A]

Are we supposed to know who it is?

[D]

No, but I mean, that's the been.

[H]

Around for a long time.

[A]

Divorces.

[E]

What she do?

[D]

Well, he tried. She tried. He tried to have her put on trial as a witch. That didn't work. But she was able to visit the slaves every other Saturday.

[C]

I see.

[H]

Well, of all the places, at least.

[C]

You found the comedy.

[A]

Wow. You can't breathe.

[D]

Okay, sorry. Who knows what happened on this date in 1709?

[E]

1709?

[D]

In Europe.

[E]

In Europe.

[A]

Yeah, it was the famous Benjamin Franklin.

[D]

Was more the great frost of 1709.

[E]

Oh, boy. How'd we miss that?

[C]

Well, it affected the wine.

[E]

The great Frost. The great frost wasn't even a blizzard. It was just a frost.

[D]

Yeah, that seemed weird.

[A]

I don't know. Why do I don't think when am I gonna to. I gotta do something with my life.

[D]

Great Frost. That's what it was called.

[C]

But that is when they said, hey, how's the mini wheat harvest this year? And they said, you'll be happy to.

[D]

Know the great Frost.

[C]

There are now two kinds.

[D]

Okay, Ms. Hooker.

[H]

Yes.

[D]

Mr. Parker meets Mrs. Barrow. Oh, yeah. On this date in 1930. Who am I talk about?

[H]

Oh, I don't know.

[D]

But Pat, you know this one.

[F]

Bonnie and Clyde.

[D]

Bonnie and Clyde. Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow.

[H]

Did not know that.

[C]

Just evil.

[D]

Yeah, horrible.

[A]

Yeah, nothing like Warren Beatty and Faye.

[D]

You once had a nickname for your car.

[H]

Oh, man, I. I did.

[D]

I thought you. Who named their car? Oh, Christy, I know you have a car with a name.

[E]

Yeah, not Bonnie and Clyde though.

[D]

No, but. Or you're a little car figgy.

[A]

What does that have to do with.

[D]

What we're talking about? Because I mean, if you.

[A]

Are you listening to a different show.

[D]

If you saw the movie, you've got.

[A]

Something else in your headphones.

[D]

Saw the movie Bing. Clyde. He referred to his car as wheels.

[H]

All of these thoughts are connected in his head.

[E]

What?

[D]

Yeah, wheels barrel.

[A]

That's what you got from the body and Clyde, hold on.

[F]

That Chick you missed.

[A]

No, no, that was amazing. Wheels barrel.

[C]

So it was all a joke, but.

[F]

He forgot to say.

[C]

He had the post joke conversation.

[D]

How about this one? Okay. 1945.

[C]

That's what happens when you fall skiing and there's no snow. You hit rocks and grass.

[D]

1945.

[C]

This.

[D]

This is one of my very favorite cartoons. Odor O D O R O D. Odorable Kitty. It's a Pepe Le Pew debuted.

[C]

That is great. And it's where the he mistakes the cat for a skunk and vice versa.

[D]

Oh, just classic stuff. And this is the one they pulled, right?

[C]

Yes. They no longer forgetting the ending apparently, when she starts chasing him, right?

[D]

Yeah, it is. It was me too'd out of existence apparently a few years ago. Let's see. On this date. This is one of your best impressions in Chick McGee. In 1996, Dolphins coach Don Shula returned.

[A]

Shuler, I'm on the competition committee. You told me a bit old man.

[D]

And no one's gone undefeated since.

[A]

Yeah, isn't that great?

[D]

Okay, how about this one? This is an easy one for you, Christy Lee.

[A]

All right.

[D]

Happy birthday to King. That's his name, not his. Not his designation.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

King Gillette. Famous for what?

[E]

He developed the razor.

[D]

The safety razor. Born in 1855.

[C]

Wow, that's been around longer than I would have thought.

[D]

All right, Ms. Hooker. 1914. Happy birthday. George Reeves.

[H]

George Reeves, Superman's dad.

[A]

Close.

[D]

You're actually George Reeves was the actor who played the. In the black and white, 50s and color.

[A]

At some point.

[D]

Yes, you know, George Rees.

[E]

Huh.

[D]

And then he famously jumped out a.

[C]

Window or something or was maybe thrown.

[A]

Or shot himself in the head.

[C]

Yeah, I'm not quite sure exactly what happened.

[D]

George Rift. Michael o', Donoghue, a famous writer from snl. Born in the state.

[A]

He's the one who fed a Wolverine. Your fingertips to the Wolverines.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

The first skit on sketch ever on Saturday Night Live.

[C]

I want to feed.

[D]

Okay, thank you. Thank you so much.

[A]

Fingertips to the Wolverines.

[D]

More coming. These are the Aurelioto parts studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[J]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show, sponsored in part by Java House. The official coffee and refreshments of the Bob and Tom Show.

[D]

Hey, I'm Chris Van Fleet, host of the number one podcast Insight with Chris Van Fleet. On the show, I sit down with the biggest names in pro wrestling, sports, film and beyond. These are real long form conversations that go behind the scenes and beyond the headlines with people like John Cena. The Undertaker, Cody Rhodes and more. We talk mindset, motivation and what it takes to succeed. This is insight with Chris Family. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.