The BOB & TOM Show - January 8, 2026

Summary

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The BOB & TOM Show – January 8, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of The BOB & TOM Show delivers the show’s signature blend of comedy, banter, and light debate among the crew. Broadcast from the O’Reilly Auto Parts Studios, the cast kicks the year off with stories of awkward New Year greetings, shoe-shining mishaps, license plate debacles, sports talk, bizarre news, and ongoing debates about daily habits and pop culture. Highlights include a hilarious digression about the appropriate length of New Year salutations, a running gag about dishwashers, and recurring commentary on generational references.

Main Cast:

• Tom Griswold (B)
• Chick McGee (A)
• Christy Lee (D)
• Josh Arnold (E)
• Willie Griswold (C)
• Ace Cosby (F)

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Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Show Open & Song Parody

• [00:16–02:48] The episode opens with a comedic musical number “I’ll Never Smoke Weed with Willie Again,” spoofing Willie Nelson. The crew jokes about meeting Willie Nelson and the pitfalls of trying to keep up with celebrities.
• Tom and Chick recount personal encounters with Willie Nelson, leading to funny confusion over braids vs. pigtails.

Memorable Quote:
“Don’t knock it till you tried it. Well, I’ve tried it, my friend. And I’ll never smoke weed with Willie again.” – Song Parody [00:30]

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2. Happy New Year Debate

• [03:38–05:14] The team dives into a spirited debate about how late is too late to wish someone a "Happy New Year," with generational and cultural tangents.
• Tom insists first-week greetings are acceptable, while others heckle him.
• Jokes about alternative cultural holidays and Tom’s love of stretching the rules.

Memorable Quote:
“My rules are the good ones and the correct ones… If you haven’t seen the person, you can ~still~ say ‘Happy New Year.’” – Tom [03:54]

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3. Generational Clashes & Reference Gaps

• Throughout episode, notably [23:38–24:06] Young listener Nate emails the show, highlighting the vast generational gap in references.
  “Tom, never change. You bring chaos just by being you.” – Listener Nate [24:06]

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4. Chick’s Shoeshine Kit “Wells Fargo Moment”

• [10:00–13:22] & [15:08–16:26]
  Tom excitedly orders a shoeshine kit, describing the anticipation as his “Wells Fargo moment” – a Music Man reference lost on much of the team and listeners.
  Colleagues poke fun at his old-fashioned hobbies and lack of online shopping skills.

Memorable Quote:
“I am currently having a Wells Fargo moment because I ordered a shoeshine kit... I can’t wait for it to come in!” – Tom [10:13]

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5. Personal Habits & Miscellaneous Debates

• Standing vs. Sitting (Socks/Shoes): [20:25–21:40]
  Debate erupts on whether to sit or stand to put on socks and shoes. Willie admits to the “flamingo” one-legged style.

• Dishwasher/Appliance Overkill: [69:14–74:53]
  Tom reveals he has four dishwashers, sparking jokes about extravagance, water waste, and why no one is allowed at his home.

Memorable Quotes:
“I do the dishes by hand and then put them in the dishwasher… and then turn it on.” – Tom [70:16]
“You think there are just TWO, pal? You’re a fool.” – Willie [69:33]

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6. Orifice Week & ER Objects

• [24:33–27:27]
  The gang discusses a national emergency room survey on foreign objects found in bodies, recounting highlights from “Orifice Week.” Ridiculous speculation and bad puns ensue.

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7. Vanity License Plate Rejections

• [94:32–112:55]
  Comic uproar over the Indiana BMV’s list of rejected vanity plates, including “FART CAR,” “BUTT STUFF,” and “ASS ITCH.”
  Patterns explored about committees vetting submissions, with the team riffing on the best, worst, and most absurd rejected plates.

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8. Sports, Beards & Looks

• [18:27–19:38], [36:52–38:36], [124:29–126:46]
  Chick delivers sports picks; debate ensues over Ace Cosby’s beard, and Tom’s policing of colleagues’ looks escalates into playful outrage.

Memorable Quote:
“I have to look at him.” – Tom, about Ace’s beard [37:52]

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9. Wild & Bizarre News Stories

• Big Penis Lawsuit: [45:20–47:59, 46:03–50:55, 76:03–77:33]
  Former NFL tackle Matt Kalil sues his ex-wife over public comments about his (allegedly) enormous anatomy. The team riffs on the implications, ridicule, and the logistics of a “two Coke cans” claim.

• Florida Man & Gun in Breast Implant: [101:06–105:47]
  A man is arrested for concealing a gun in a silicone bra insert while wearing lingerie on a construction site. This unleashes puns about “.38 Double D” and inspires Pat Godwin’s song “Every Night a Different Lady.”

• Mermaid Wannabe: [105:53–106:36]
  News story of a woman arrested after swimming nude in a neighbor's pond, claiming she was trying to be a mermaid.

• Horse in Target: [157:32–158:55]
  Viral video: man rides a horse through a Target store, with obligatory defecation. Crew debates whether this is “Walmart behavior.”

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10. Pop Culture and Food Hot Takes

• Anaconda Movie Review: [86:19–88:58]
  Josh reviews the comedic reboot of “Anaconda,” praises Jack Black, and the cast reminisces about 90s horror camp.

• Falling Out with Sushi: [62:39–64:08]
  Tom announces he’s “over” sushi, causing further food debates and questions about culinary phases.

• Seven-Layer Dip, Cheerios, and Childhood Cereal: [61:48–69:14]
  Banter covers party food preferences, black olives, and Tom’s indulgence in massive cereal boxes for his daughter.

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11. Callipygian & Modern Slang with Al Jackson

• [127:55–138:29]
  Weekly slang lesson: “callipygian” (having shapely buttocks).
  The crew riffs on the nuances of appreciating derrieres, “Edward Forty Hands,” and the confusion around 40 oz drinks.

Quote:
“So you’d say, have you seen Dolores over there? She is quite callipygian.” – Tom [135:10]

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12. Sexy Time with Ali Breen (Relationship Advice)

• [140:08–152:17]
  Ali Breen joins the show for relationship Q&A. Topics include:
• “Discount New Year’s Date” – is a post-holiday celebration acceptable?
• Work crush honesty gone wrong
• Flirty best friends and house guests
• Vetting “open relationships” for truth and harm minimization
• Cooking, food habits, and resentment in cohabitation

Notable Moment:
“The chicken must be SO hot if he’s even thinking about writing into the show.” – Willie, on a difficult girlfriend letter [144:02]

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13. Today in History & Nostalgia

• [116:12–123:44] Covers Elvis’s birthday, Stephen Hawking’s love life, David Bowie’s oddities, and chick’s NFL trivia throwbacks.

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Notable Quotes & Funny Exchanges by Timestamp

• [03:54] Tom: "My rules are the good ones and the correct ones. If you haven't seen the person, you can still say Happy New Year."
• [10:13] Tom: "I am currently having a Wells Fargo moment because I ordered a shoeshine kit… I can't wait for it to come in!"
• [23:46] Listener Nate: "A man who makes reference to things almost 60 years older than my parents decides to be the voice of fashion and what's popular. Tom, never change."
• [37:52] Tom: "I have to look at him." [On Ace's beard]
• [46:27] A: "She said, quote, two Coke cans on top of each other, maybe even a third." [about Matt Kalil]
• [69:14] Willie: "You think there are just TWO [dishwashers], pal? You're a fool."
• [94:32] B: "They obviously rejected 'fart car.'"
• [135:10] Tom: "So would one say, 'Have you seen Dolores over there? She is quite callipygian'?"
• [144:02] Willie: "This chicken must be SO hot if he's even thinking about writing into the show."
• [157:00] B: "Usually drones are in the news bombing somebody… It's kind of cool, though, the drone doing something nice."

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Start | End | |------------------------------|----------|----------| | Willie Nelson Song Parody | 00:16 | 02:48 | | New Year Greeting Debate | 03:38 | 05:14 | | Shoeshine Kit Story | 10:00 | 13:22 | | Emails & Generational Gaps | 23:38 | 24:06 | | Vanity Plate Rejections | 94:32 | 112:55 | | Relationship Advice (Ali Breen) | 140:03 | 152:17 | | Sports Picks with Chick | 124:29 | 126:46 | | Big Anatomy Lawsuit | 45:20 | 50:55 | | Callipygian Slang Lesson | 127:55 | 138:29 | | Bizarre News/Fla Man Gun | 101:06 | 105:47 |

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Tone and Style

The show maintains its trademark blend of sarcastic, good-natured ribbing; lighthearted nostalgia; and a fondness for pop culture references both old and new. Hosts and guests embrace self-deprecation and riff on each other’s quirks, with a strong sense of camaraderie underpinned by frequent generational digs.

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For New Listeners

You’ll get a hearty sampler of Bob & Tom’s comedy—deadpan debates, outrageous stories, musical parodies, errant tangents, and affectionate mockery. The January 8, 2026 episode is packed with personalities, quick pivots, and running jokes, making it a representative slice of this classic American ensemble radio show.

Transcript

[A]

It's the bob and tom show.

[B]

I always heard that his herb was top shelf. I just could not wait to find out for myself.

[C]

Don't knock it till you tried it. Well, I've tried it, my friend. And I'll never smoke weed with Willie again.

[B]

I learned a hard lesson in a small Texas town.

[C]

He fired up a fat boy and he passed him around.

[B]

The last words I spoke before they tucked me in.

[C]

I'll never smoke weed with Willie again. I'll never smoke weed with Willie again. My party's all over before it begins. You can pour me some old whiskey river, my friend. But I'll never smoke weed with Willie again.

[B]

I hopped on his old bus, the Honeysuckle Road.

[C]

The party was Vegas. It was after the show, alone in.

[B]

The front lounge, just me and him.

[C]

With one parting puff, Grim Creek sat in. I'll never smoke weed with Willie again. My party's all over before it begins. You can pour me some old whiskey river, my friend. But I'll never smoke weed with Willie again.

[B]

Now we're passing the guitar. Telling good jokes.

[C]

I know ones are coming. Cause I'm smelling smoke.

[B]

No, I do not partake. I just let it pass by With.

[C]

A smile on my face and a great contact high. I'll never smoke weed Willie again. My party's all over before it began. You can pour me some old whiskey river, my friend. But I'll never smoke weed with Willie again.

[B]

In the fetal position with drool on my chin.

[C]

I messed up and smoke weed with Willie again.

[A]

Good morning. Hang on. Got problems. I got a marker stuck under my mic stand. Hang on a second.

[B]

Okay. Am I going to take over? You got this.

[A]

Son of a. It's the Bob and Tom show. We're in O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Oh, really, O'Reilly? Oh, really, O'Reilly, they can have that.

[B]

Oh, good.

[A]

You're gonna have to. I'll give them to that.

[B]

I'll give them to it for free.

[A]

Hello, Christy.

[D]

Hi, Chick.

[A]

She's the SILAC Insurance news desk.

[B]

They've already got the. Ooh, more of an ow. Yeah.

[A]

Ow. That's what you want. Yeah. There's Pat Godwin. Hello. There's Josh Arnold, Ace Cosby. Willie Griswold in the house.

[C]

Hey, man. Good to see you guys. Happy New Year, y'.

[A]

All. Happy New Year, indeed.

[B]

Oh, wait a minute. This is a sore point. Willie, it's too late.

[C]

It's too late.

[B]

No, it's not. Here's the thing. No, this is the rule of thumb.

[A]

No, it's I have my rules. You have your rules. I have my rules.

[B]

I know, but my rules are the good ones and the correct ones. If you see. Haven't seen someone in the New year, you can say happy New Year. I don't think so.

[E]

Especially I think within the first week. Yes, yes.

[A]

Is it the first week?

[B]

Yeah, man, I just. Not, man, it's not first month. I reviewed this with a disinterested third party who probably also was uninterested since I was speaking with her and she said, yes, you can. If you haven't seen the person, you can still say Happy New Year.

[E]

So in May, if you haven't seen them until May.

[B]

Yeah, I suppose if you want to get technical, Josh, you can do.

[A]

That's our breads and butters.

[B]

I think the seasonality of it is such that I would say a couple of weeks in and then by that time it's.

[A]

That sounds a little fuzzy.

[E]

It's not. If you haven't seen them, it's a couple of weeks.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, but I mean, I wouldn't say to you happy New Year, because I've already seen you in the New Year.

[A]

Yeah, well, no, that would sound insane.

[B]

Now, let's say you were of some alternate cultural faith or religion.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Let's get into that. Because you've got the Chinese New Year coming up, right?

[D]

Yeah, end of the month.

[B]

So I suppose if you're of Chinese heritage, it might be a tradition in your family to say the equivalent of Happy New Year. I'm not sure. There's a number of different New Years.

[A]

They're not going to know what you're saying anyway. Whatever. Whatever gibberish they're speaking, sure. I can't do it.

[E]

No, no, it's not.

[A]

God, no.

[B]

They say you said.

[E]

Look, I don't.

[B]

I don't even play ping pong.

[F]

Yes.

[A]

Kimchi.

[E]

Want to.

[A]

Want a bang bang? Yes.

[C]

See a Happy New Year.

[E]

Let's not be offensive.

[C]

Show some text.

[A]

We're right up on the line hammering it, aren't we?

[B]

Okay, so did you get the. The marker out of your ass? What was going on over there?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, the marker stuck underneath my.

[B]

Okay, very good. We began with a classic. Toby, Keith, Scotty, Emrick and smoking weed with Willie. Not you, Willie. No, the another Willie.

[A]

Willie Nelson. The statue in Austin. Willie Nelson? Yeah, that Willie Nelson.

[B]

The great Willie Nelson.

[A]

Great Willie Griswold.

[C]

Oh, no, you can have that one. Willie Nelson. He's way better than me.

[A]

Well, you're not over yet, though. Willie's kind of, you know, I'm still. You can't get much greater.

[B]

I met. I met Willie.

[A]

He's got his feet up, ringing the bell. You know, he does.

[B]

The first time I met Willie Nelson, ladies and gentlemen, true story. I was at an event. I forget the nature of it, but I was kind of in the corner. This guy taps me in the shoulder, turns around and goes, hi, I'm Willie Nelson.

[A]

Hi, I'm Willow Nelson.

[B]

You kind of want to go. No kidding. He sort of has his own look.

[A]

Well, but I know you, though. And if you had. If Willie had walked up to you, he didn't even say introduce himself or anything. Rudest man.

[B]

Oh, he was great.

[A]

What a jerk Willie Nelson is.

[C]

So he knew who you were and walked right up.

[B]

It was. It's a long story with some event.

[C]

Was he braids?

[B]

No, he was pigtails. He was. He was pigtails. Yes.

[A]

Okay. I like the pigtails. I've been thinking. I've been thinking of going with that.

[B]

Wait a minute. Hang on a second. I'm unclear on this. I guess they were. There were two braids coming down his chest.

[D]

That's a braid.

[B]

What's a pigtail?

[E]

Those are like the side of the.

[D]

They just are.

[C]

No, I thought.

[A]

I thought pig. What?

[D]

Tails. Like, this is a big deal.

[A]

God, I'm so stupid.

[B]

Oh, not great. Oh, I don't think he does that right. No, Willie does the braids.

[D]

Yeah. Not braided.

[B]

Now, I will go on record as saying. And I've said and mentioned this before also, the worst hair choice in the history of rock and roll. Yeah. Was when Ringo, on one of his tours, had a. A. Whatever he called it a pigtail coming straight out of the top of his head. Remember this look that he tried to pull off?

[E]

Remember that?

[B]

For a little bit.

[C]

I think that you have so many hits. You do so many drugs, you sleep with so many women. You're like, hey, let's do the weird top of the head ponytail thing now. Let's mix it up.

[B]

This year, I think it's that Ringo is such a great guy and such a cool guy. No one's gonna say, ringo, you look ridiculous.

[A]

Ninjas have hair like that off the top.

[C]

That is true. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

They'll swing that sometimes.

[A]

I was backstage.

[E]

Yeah. He had some kind of Asian persuasion.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Moment.

[A]

Yeah. There's an Asian there somewhere.

[B]

Really?

[A]

I don't have any live for.

[B]

Let's just go for it. Yeah.

[A]

Mash it down.

[B]

No, but, you know. You know, they're big. That was. There was that Big Asian movement in. In rock there for a while. What, the band? Oh, yeah, the band Asia. All these, all these guys.

[C]

Song turning Japanese. So there's.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I shouldn't have given him more evidence. Actually, I don't remember.

[B]

Remember Sting would come out wearing some kind of sarong?

[A]

No, never.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. If you look up Sting on the Synchronicity tour, he. I remember I saw him. He came out wearing some kind of karate.

[A]

Now that was a police tour. That was a Sting tour.

[B]

Well, what are the solo tours? He wears a tux. I don't know.

[A]

I think he does like a T shirt. Muscle shirt. Guys fit. He's fit as you would think.

[B]

There was a whole eastern thing going on in rock and Ringo thought, I'm gonna have my. Don't remember that hair coming out of the top of my head. And no one said, hey, Ringo, you look ridiculous. He must have been. That must have been. That must have been in the drinking days. Yeah.

[E]

Isn't there a chance that he also liked it and the people around him liked it?

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

No.

[B]

If I walked in here.

[E]

Well, that.

[A]

Come on. If you have enough people kissing your ass that they would come up. My God, Tom, that top not coming out. There's no hair there. And then all of a sudden, right in the middle.

[B]

It's beautiful.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You think you look cool in those leather shoes that you wear and those Doc Martens that you wear.

[A]

Yeah, those are ridiculous.

[B]

These are not Doc Martens.

[A]

You look like. You look like a clown on the slope.

[B]

There you go. That's a French flag. Because these are Rossignols, the great ski company from France.

[A]

Never.

[B]

Those that know, those that don't are inferior.

[E]

Ah, it's good to be inferior.

[A]

In the past, that's where I would jump in with a stupid comment. But that, that awfulness of Tom just kind of filled up the room. I like that.

[C]

What'd you wear on vacation the most? Shoe wise?

[D]

Those.

[C]

Would you go with those like every day?

[D]

Warm.

[B]

Every day they're warm and they're waterproof. That's why you wear them for. They're an apres ski thing.

[C]

Did you get them all mucky and.

[A]

No, it was.

[C]

You didn't have a good.

[B]

I must say I. I did. I. I am having a Wells Fargo moment.

[C]

Want to rob a bank?

[B]

No, no, not, not.

[A]

Well, he's telling me something about music man.

[B]

Thank you. Chick in Broadway classic that I saw.

[A]

Son of a bitch.

[B]

He is our best friend in. Recently. Wolverine was in it.

[E]

You can't remember his name? Don't don't remind him.

[B]

I'm so tight with you, I call him Wolverine.

[A]

Oh, yeah, we heard that story.

[B]

I went to see the Broadway show Music Man. Well, there's a great scene where the Wells Fargo wagon is coming. You'll recall in the movie, the great Ron Howard portrays the little kid who's got his trumpet coming in.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's all about the anticipation of this. It's an important moment. It's a metaphor for looking forward to things in life. I am currently having a Wells Fargo moment because I ordered a shoe shine kit. What? Yeah, I can't wait for it to come in. It's got, like, three kinds of shoe polish brushes.

[A]

Those ridiculous shoes you're wearing are capable of receiving a shine.

[B]

Do you have a shoeshine kit?

[A]

I don't.

[B]

I. I used to have one.

[D]

You have a little box you're gonna put your foot on.

[E]

Look at your shine box.

[A]

Please tell me you gotta shine box. You're going to hire a guy.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

To shine your shoes.

[C]

I think that's half of the fun for you. Of the shoe shine. Is that some man?

[E]

Ace, tell him. No, now.

[A]

We'Ll just skip right to the end.

[C]

No, I. I actually shine. Coming over.

[A]

Let me tell you something. May shine a shoe look like mirrors.

[B]

You see your face I love. I love doing. So I shined bare shoes over the weekend, but then I realized I needed a better kit.

[A]

You sound like. You sound like you're insane. Hey, I shine my shoes over the weekend. What do you think?

[B]

Don't you like doing small tasks where you'll compost something?

[A]

No, I do. I don't.

[B]

So, anyway, I got it. I've got a shoeshine kit coming. Josh, I'll talk to you. Yeah, several brushes and I was going.

[E]

To say you meant an Amazon prime moment, but no, no, you can only get a shoeshine kit from Wells Fargo.

[B]

Yeah. Who's been out of the delivery business since the twenties. I am trying.

[A]

Yeah. Wells Fargo doesn't even know what the hell you're talking about. There is a.

[B]

There is a but. It's a Wells Fargo moment in the Music Man. It's the. It's that the whole point of that story is the anticipation.

[C]

We get it.

[B]

Something coming.

[C]

Yeah, you're doing that thing where you get more focused on being right than being funny or interesting.

[B]

Wait, no, no, no.

[E]

Hold on.

[B]

That's. That's correct.

[A]

Out of the mouths of babes. Okay.

[C]

You get really stuck on this a lot of the time where you. Sometimes you try to prove a point you'll give an ex. And we already. We know we already.

[A]

And you.

[F]

Oh, good.

[C]

Think I. I had Jason dig up that B side from Steely Dan earlier. And then one knows how good. Everyone. This is better than Asia. I'll say that.

[E]

Right.

[A]

And then four weeks later. See, I told you he said this.

[B]

Oh, well, first of all, Willie, you're correct. There are several B sides from Steely Dan better than the song Asia, I think there's no argument there.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

St. Louis, too.

[A]

What do you got there? You got the Cal Causa shoeshine kit, the Mars with a Z, the Stone and Clark. What is your order?

[B]

I'm not sure. I haven't got it yet.

[D]

Did you get the box or just the.

[A]

You're so excited about this kit, you don't know what kind you ordered?

[C]

Well, I'll have to look it up.

[B]

No, I ordered it Locke. Several days ago. I thought it came last night, but it was something else.

[E]

You don't know exactly what. Is there a chance you just went to Google, typed in shoeshine kit, and got up and went. It's on a trailer.

[A]

There is absolutely that chance. Or I love the Internet computer that's.

[E]

Not even turned on. We just. Shoe shine.

[C]

What I did whispered it to Hearts Alexa. It was just a regular radio. Shouted it to the stars.

[A]

I thought.

[B]

I thought I had it two days ago. I thought it had come in because there was a great big box. It turned out. You see this. This kind of gum here?

[E]

Yeah. I like.

[B]

I like this kind of. Yeah. Well, I ordered four of these. What? I got.

[A]

Good job, buddy.

[B]

Oh, no, no. I got a box that you could fit eight basketballs in. I have enough of this stuff for the rest of my life.

[D]

You know, you need to read the. Fine.

[B]

I'm busy.

[D]

Put.

[A]

Look at the total.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Is this what usually I have.

[B]

I have.

[C]

I got four sticks of gum. It cost me $2,000. The price of gum.

[B]

I have several hundred sticks of gum in my closet.

[E]

Well, that's a good kind.

[B]

It is.

[E]

I'll take a couple packs.

[C]

Yeah. Sugar free.

[B]

Or it's a watermelon flavor. Delightful.

[A]

Watermelon.

[B]

In any event, I think now that I've established the Wells Fargo moment, and really this is a cultural touchstone for many of us.

[C]

Again, you're just justifying the use of that term. We don't need that. We're fine with that.

[A]

Now we know how you are. You say that stuff all the time.

[E]

Excited for you.

[B]

I'm not gonna call it an Amazon moment because I don't support Bezos and his big wedding. Okay?

[A]

I do. Because I like stuff getting delivered. And you shut your hole. Okay.

[B]

Okay. Well, I'll tell you what. During this next break, we're going to convene in the coffee room. We call it the green room. What do they call it? A lot of businesses?

[D]

A break room, I guess.

[B]

Is the term canteen no longer used?

[D]

I've never heard canteen.

[A]

That sounds like a music man term. They're all down at the canteen.

[B]

Hey, Sergeant Bilco, we'll meet you at the canteen. Where was I? At our green room. We are served by our fine friends at Java House. Java House, the official beverage service of the Bob and Tom show. They can clean up your canteen or your green room or your break room too. You don't want to go in there. Well, there's 40 people in there. They're all in line at the Keurig machine out here. Because with Java House you just peel and pour. You take one of these little guys and someone took my last one over here that I keep in the room. There you go. Christie's got one over there. These little pods. You peel and you pour. Which one's that?

[D]

This is the hibiscus lightly sweet tea.

[B]

And it's a very pretty color. They also, of course, have hot chocolate lattes. What else am I? Hydration drinks, energy drinks, tea, coffee, whatever you want. All kinds of different versions. Cold brew, et cetera, et cetera. Java house. Go to Javahouse.com. see what I'm talking about? And like I say, this is revolutionizing the break room at many an office and also at your home. And we have discovered something that Java House doesn't even know about. Java House.

[D]

What?

[B]

Vanilla ice cream and a Java House pod. Friday evening about 9 o', clock, the game's half over. Things are going really well. It's ice cream time with Java House. This is a little sidelight. They don't know about this. Just letting them know you have your little Wells Fargo moment with Java House. You can have that Wells Fargo moment by going to Javahouse.com and ordering a bunch of cool fancy coffees. Lattes and coffees and teas. It is the official beverage service of the Bob and Tom Show. You're probably having a Wells Fargo moment right now saying, what's going to happen when we come back? Are you what you're anticipating?

[A]

Are you. Are you familiar with the term blithering idiot?

[D]

Welcome back. We have a 24 year old weighing in on Tom and what he's talking about right now.

[A]

We're up to our hips in emails.

[B]

And is the term. Is the term blethering ever used before anything else besides?

[A]

I don't think so. They go hand in hand.

[E]

They really do go together.

[B]

Well, I. I acknowledge that. That. Coming up, a special edition of sexy time with Ali Breen.

[A]

Oh, nice of her to finally call us.

[B]

And then, of course, it's.

[A]

It's her world. We're just paying around. It's fine.

[B]

She missed it yesterday. Apparently. She was in bed.

[A]

Probably stupid, stupid woman.

[B]

Probably with some hustler. We'll find out what was going.

[A]

She was in bed with a hustler.

[B]

We will return, probably a jiggle to the O'Reilly Auto. Excuse me. We'll return to the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and John show. Get ready for the rush with Max Crosby. It's time. Don't miss the behind the scenes moments.

[A]

Everyone'S talking about, regardless of what they say. I'll take the fine. I don't care. All pro defensive end Max Crosby takes.

[B]

You beyond the field with exclusive insights.

[A]

I could say this because I've played them.

[B]

This is the rush.

[A]

You guys already know what time it is. It was fire.

[B]

And we'll be right back on the pod and we'll be talking about it next week. The Rush will with Max Crosby, follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[A]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Thank O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee.

[B]

Hi.

[D]

Chick.

[A]

Mickey with a monogrammed sweater like Laverne on Laverne and Shirley.

[F]

What is that?

[D]

Not mine, though.

[A]

Oh, is it the designer guy?

[D]

Yes. Ralph Grandon.

[A]

Polo by Crampton.

[E]

Yes. To the moon collector.

[A]

There's Pat Godwin.

[D]

Hello.

[A]

There's Willie Griswold.

[C]

Hey, man, what's up?

[A]

There's Josh Arnold. I hate Steven Singer, sidekick, chair man. There's Ace Cosby, still rocking the beard. Congratulations. Big fan.

[B]

Yeah. Not a fan. I'm gonna be honest, Ace. No one is. No one has the guts to tell you the truth.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

Not your look. It's not his look.

[C]

You think of all people in this building that are being lied to, you think Ace is the guy that we're all doing that.

[B]

Yes, I do. It's not his look. I'm sorry.

[E]

His look is whatever he wants it to be.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

But there are bad looks. We've already discussed Ringo with the weird hair. That was a bad look for him in your mind.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't think it looked that bad.

[B]

Really? Yeah. Okay, if I get you a wig with a. With a ponytail sticking straight up, you'd wear it?

[A]

Sure. Hell yeah.

[B]

Okay, now we were talking about my adventures on Amazon.

[A]

Oh, God.

[B]

I got the warned mine. Black shoe polish.

[A]

What?

[B]

I got a shoe shine kit.

[A]

Why Warmine. What?

[B]

It's called Vern. Vern Mind. Apparently you asked me what kind it was. Oh, look at this. Three different kinds of polish, four brushes. It looks very exciting.

[E]

How about that? Where do you do it?

[B]

At my house?

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Living room, on the rug.

[A]

On the cream rug?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

The laundry room, which I also call the dog room. You know, I'll do it in there.

[E]

You put the shoes on or you put them on your hands.

[B]

Oh, on my hands.

[A]

Now you stand up when you put your socks on. Do you? Of course. Can you stand and put your shoes on at the same time? You have to sit down and put your shoes on?

[B]

Yes, I can stand up and put my shoes on. What do you think? Not infirm.

[E]

Willie, do you sit down to put your socks on or do you stand to put your socks on?

[A]

On.

[C]

I stand kind of the flamingo look kind of thing. Yeah, I mean, I, I'm. Guys, I'm so weird. I, I.

[E]

You're fine.

[A]

I thought that a lot of me.

[C]

But you're with a Griswold for so long. Yeah, you do impress impressioned onto you.

[A]

Yeah, I just have never. I never heard of people standing and put their socks on. I don't know.

[D]

Do you stand and tie your shoe too, like you stand like a flamingo?

[B]

No, no, no. I go over to a chair and put my foot up on the chair. Typically, yeah. I mean, I co.

[E]

I'll accept putting your foot up on the chair.

[B]

Yeah. I just don't.

[D]

He just said he didn't have a chair to sit down.

[C]

Yeah, you said you had no chair yesterday.

[A]

And I bet you use the chair a little for the socks too.

[C]

Make love in that chair he watches from.

[B]

There's a bench in there. But I don't sit on it to put my socks on. All right. I, I have some coordination.

[A]

I don't sit on my bench to put my socks on.

[C]

I stand judgment and disdain that.

[E]

I applaud you for the Pilates moves you have to do to do that.

[B]

It's got some good balance. And by the way, when I mentioned the fact that I hit the wrong button and now have Several dozen cases of extra bubble gum. Whatever the stuff is. I have nothing against Mr. Bezos. Just want you to know I just thought that wedding. That wedding was a little excessive.

[E]

I kind of knew we were. You were joking.

[B]

Well, the wedding. The wedding was a little excessive. I just want to say in his defense, he got all the money back with the cash bar, so that is good. Yeah, he was able to. He was able to pay.

[A]

Sounds like Bezos reached out DiCaprio walking.

[E]

Up to that bar. That'll be $4.

[C]

The drinks are cheap, too.

[B]

It was in Italy. It would have been in lira. What happened to euros? Oh, we gave up on those. That's 7 billion lira for two.

[E]

Oh, his yacht isn't considered U.S. territory.

[B]

I believe it's Venezuelan.

[E]

It might be.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

And tropical.

[B]

That one, isn't it?

[C]

That's a good time for everybody.

[B]

I guess it's time for your letters. A couple quick things I want to mention. Willie G. And Kevin Boseman.

[C]

Hey.

[B]

Are going to be at the Helium Comedy Club in Indy. Greg Hahn is going to be at the Comedy Club of Lawrence, Kansas, starting tonight. And then a good friend of the show, Tim Allen, the great actor. And. And Tim is going to be doing a standup show at the Morrison center in Boise, Idaho, coming up this Saturday night. That's going to be really cool.

[A]

Data days up there in Boise.

[B]

Now, we do have letters. Do you want to start or you want me to go?

[A]

Emails. Emails from our listeners brought to you by Sleep number. Enjoy personalized comfort for better, better sleep night after night. And it's the Buy More, Save More event. Save on bases, pillows and more only at Sleep number or sleep number dot com. Yes, Christy.

[D]

This is from Nate in Green Bay. Howdy, gang. As a 24 year old, a lot of what Tom references makes absolutely no sense to me.

[A]

I can't imagine Nate.

[D]

So I love the fact that a man who makes reference to things that are almost 60 years older than my parents has decided to be the voice of fashion and what is popular. Yeah, Tom, never change. You bring chaos just by being you. And I'm here for it.

[B]

Nate, I recommend that you watch the movie the Music Man.

[C]

Write that down, Nate.

[B]

It's a classic. Oh, my God. It's. It'll. That will outlive Nate and Nate's children.

[D]

Nate's high school probably did the music man good.

[B]

That's some quality music, Nate.

[C]

That was great writing, by the way. 60 years older than my parents. Oh, my goodness, you just nailed that.

[B]

Now, we have been discussing Willie You've missed that.

[A]

We.

[B]

This has been orifice week on the Bob and Tom Show.

[C]

Oh, man, Sorry I missed that because.

[B]

What is it? The Consumer Safety Council or something of the United States. They do a survey of all ERs emergency rooms all over the country. And each year they release information about emergency rooms. And the essence of it was we spent a day on each major orifice.

[C]

Isn't this whole day, this is just like a big massive HIPAA violation. Right. We're just telling everybody. Well, people are getting stuck back there.

[E]

They're not giving name.

[C]

Be much funnier.

[B]

Yes. If I were president, we'd be getting some names.

[C]

Barbie all stuck in rectum dash. 43 year old engineer in Lawrence, Kansas.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. With his full name Darnell Stephen Parnell Johnson Jr. Yeah. Had a Barbie doll stuck up his ass. The significance of this is, let's see, day one was rectums.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Day two, vaginas. And yesterday was. They call it sounding, Is that correct?

[E]

Yes, Certain things into the male penis.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And now isn't sounding. Christy said, like on riverboats. Isn't that where. Where Samuel Clemens got the name Mark Twain? Wow. Yeah.

[E]

They measured.

[A]

They would measure riverboats and Mark Twain. Samuel Clement.

[B]

I suppose someone's ever been literary enough while abusing their penis to Mark Twain as they shove a number two pencil in.

[C]

That's the weirdest thing anyone's ever said. That's an odd thing to say.

[E]

I mean, do we have a fourth altitude? No.

[B]

We have letters though about them. Oh, we had yesterday during penis day. Writes Brian Monticello up to say the penis. Is it Monticello or Monticello, Indiana?

[C]

I think it's Monticello.

[D]

Monticello.

[A]

Okay, that sounds right.

[B]

Hey, Brian, he said one of the items you mentioned was an Allen wrench. Remember this?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And an Allen wrench. As far as I know, most of them, they tend to have through an Allen wrench.

[A]

Please, dear God, explain this to me. Thank you very much.

[E]

When one pictures an Allen wrench, they picture the L shaped.

[B]

An L shape.

[C]

Yeah, the thing you get with IKEA furniture.

[D]

Right, right.

[E]

And they're Allen wrench drill bits and stuff.

[B]

Okay, so. But I was curious as to how one could get an L shaped thing into the.

[A]

Well, they wouldn't put that end in first, would they? Or maybe they would.

[B]

If. If they just popped in the long end and the. The L shaped part was they could pull it out. This thing was stuck in there.

[A]

Had to be sensible sounding.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Safe sounding.

[C]

That also acts like a handle. But I Think you do that. Then you get excited. This is how George Harrison gets the top knot. Then you switch it around the other way. You gotta, you gotta figure it out, Chick.

[E]

Some men even call it sound sounding.

[B]

Yes, the larger point.

[A]

Sound safe.

[B]

Brian, obviously a man who's familiar with tools said Tom, don't you. Don't you understand? There's a perfectly good explanation. The man was using the Allen wrench to tighten his nuts.

[E]

I like it.

[B]

Thank you, Brian. It's very obvious.

[C]

Good time. One of those hard to reach.

[B]

Bazooka.

[A]

Joe sent that in.

[B]

This next one involves something else I was upset about. The American Kennel Club has identified three new so called breeds of dogs.

[C]

Oh yeah, I saw this. Did you get mad about the Russian one?

[A]

I got mad about all of them.

[D]

They got mad at all of them.

[B]

How about some real dogs? Dogs that people have not in a. Well, a dog in 1714 was designed to help the slaves catch muskrats.

[F]

Okay?

[B]

No, that's how they all are. Why not have like a labradoodle or a dog that somebody has that Westminster show should be required to do best mutt in show. That would be. Wouldn't that be.

[D]

That would be fun.

[B]

Wouldn't that be great?

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Now for the shouldn't exist category.

[A]

God's mistake. Here he comes.

[C]

Look at that. That is an abomination there, Derek.

[B]

But one of them, as I don't have the story in front of me, but I recall one of them was in fact fact the. One of the new recognized breeds is the Teddy Roosevelt. Right.

[E]

And I think as cute as anything. I love it.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

I kind of look like a Jack Russell. What was the name of the dog that Patton had? He had like in the movie.

[B]

Is that a bull terrier?

[A]

Yeah, I think maybe it was that. What's accurate or not?

[B]

What's the, the Budweiser dog?

[A]

I think it was Spuds. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Spuds was a bull terrier. And I, I at one point was looking at one of those and the breeder said she wouldn't sell them to anyone with kids. So take that for what it's worth.

[A]

Because some reason they think they're delicious.

[B]

The bull terriers think kids are listening.

[A]

They must be on us.

[B]

In any event, the bull terrier, the whatever. I'm sorry, the, the Teddy Roosevelt. Was it a terrier?

[D]

Teddy Roosevelt Terrier, Correct.

[B]

Okay, there's a picture.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

It looks like a little Jack Ross.

[C]

But it doesn't look like Teddy Roosevelt's at all. It doesn't have a Mustache.

[D]

I know it doesn't have glasses.

[C]

No glasses.

[E]

But apparently it has Teddy's spirit. It likes hunting.

[B]

And I guess I heard that if you. If you shoot one, they can continue and finish their speech.

[E]

It ran the NYPD for a while.

[B]

I of course, came up with a distant cousin of that, of course, is the Franklin Roosevelt Terrier.

[C]

Don't. Don't is a double down. He's just doing it for your benefit. You're kidding me. He's gonna do it for you.

[B]

Jimmy was kind enough to write dear Tom, of course you failed to mention with the Franklin Roosevelt Terrier. By the way, if you have one, you will need a ramp at your house. The Franklin Roosevelt area is best known for the difficulties of house training. It. It's famous for its fireside shats.

[C]

Yeah, you know what?

[B]

That was worth it, Jimmy.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

I didn't see it coming.

[B]

You're my new favorite listener.

[C]

That was great. We can all agree that was awesome.

[B]

My nostrils are filling with snow.

[D]

My nose is audio.

[A]

It was lost on me and I don't know why.

[D]

All right.

[E]

Just saying it just now didn't make you.

[F]

No.

[C]

Not even a bigger laugh with you?

[A]

So not even a smile?

[C]

No, I'm a huge fan of it. I gotta tell you.

[A]

Okay. All right.

[B]

Can you image you're sitting there with your ears.

[A]

Oh, yeah, walk me through it. This will help.

[B]

You're your place.

[A]

So I'm there by my fire.

[B]

Do you have a gas. Do you have a gas fire or do you have the real law?

[A]

Real wood, real fire.

[C]

He reeks of a real logs guy.

[A]

Yeah, I'm out there chopping.

[B]

You've spent some time. You got the firewood and the fire fireplace. You got your smoking jacket on. Got your smoking jacket on. You're probably eating a couple of gummies or, you know, entering the Twilight zone. And your little. Your little Franklin.

[A]

Drugs or alcohol. Okay, then your little.

[B]

Your little Teddy Roosevelt Terrier.

[A]

I've thrown up on myself.

[B]

Also walks in and he goes, where's the Franklin Roosevelt Terrier? And he comes in and gets in the famous crouch and drops a deuce right in front of the fireplace. You got a little fireside chat.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Take a swig your burger.

[A]

Still not even a smirk for me.

[B]

You suck the life out of at the end. Well, I'm. I never.

[A]

Dear Bob and Tom show. This one goes. Hello, lights of my life.

[D]

Oh.

[F]

Oh.

[A]

Just wanted to send in this photo I found of Josh's stepdad's car. Couldn't believe he it was in Lincoln, Nebraska.

[B]

Oh, man.

[C]

Man.

[E]

And it says Rich on the license.

[A]

Damn right it does.

[B]

That's the name of your mom's husband?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

What kind of car is that? A. An Excalibur?

[A]

I don't know.

[E]

I mean, it looks like that ZZ top kind of.

[A]

Oh, yeah, the Eliminator. I know y' all love a good car, so please school us on this making model. She's asking what.

[E]

The hood ornament. What is that? Is that.

[B]

I can't see it.

[D]

Like a restaurant. Like they've put it. They've.

[C]

Yeah, it looks like it's.

[B]

It's a two seater convertible.

[C]

It looks like a backwards truck.

[B]

Truck.

[C]

Does that make sense?

[A]

A little bit.

[C]

Like the back.

[D]

Yeah, I see what you said.

[C]

That is cool.

[B]

Oh, but that's a blast to drive. Is that.

[D]

I don't know what that is.

[B]

The front piece is. It looks like the Rolls Royce Wings.

[C]

But that's way too big.

[E]

They are huge.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I bet that is a Roll Eagle. Tom, that's not a Rolls.

[B]

It's the ornament.

[E]

It looks like something Rolls.

[D]

Ish.

[B]

Custom.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Cool. But it's got Rich for the restaurant. For the plate. What state's it from? I can't see.

[C]

Colorado.

[A]

Nope. Thank you for the Colorado license plate, but this is from Lincoln, Nebraska. That' surgery lives.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I couldn't make it through the madness without you. All right, well, you're welcome.

[B]

You'd have to really only have one. One person in the car if you wanted to fit a pair of skis in there.

[D]

Oh, God.

[C]

I don't think that's what they're worried about.

[B]

You're in Colorado. You're not gonna go skiing.

[A]

Did you hit your head when you came in this morning?

[B]

I heard they got plenty of snow as soon as I left.

[A]

Thanks.

[E]

No, that person is so rich, they just go to the top of the mountain and get on somebody's back and.

[A]

Say, I had a wonderful time.

[B]

Carry me down, kud.

[A]

And speaking of betting if there's snow or not, how about prize picks? Tom? It always feels good to be right. High pressure Playoff matchups every weekend. Basketball almost every night. Action never stops. College football final four starts tonight. Prize picks. You simply pick two to six players more or less on their stat projections. Submit your lineup, and it's just that easy. For instance, in football action this week, you could add Aaron Rodgers to get more than 149.5 passing yards, and Caleb Williams to throw more than 0.5 passing touchdowns. Yeah, that sounds pretty good. If your lineup gets off to a hot start, get a load of this. You have the option to cash out those winnings before the game even finishes. I'm guessing you can't do that with your own bookmaker. Find community on Prize Picks to copy lineups you like or use them as inspiration for your own picks with the new Social Feed feature. Don't miss any of the season action this season with Prize Picks where it's good to be right. Download the Prize Picks app today. Use the Code Tom and get $50 bonus credit instantly in lineups when you play. Five dollars. That's code Tom on prize picks. 50 bucks bonus credit instantly in lineups when YOU play. Five bucks prize picks. It's good to be right. Must be present in certain states. Visit pricepix.com for restrictions and details.

[B]

Yeah, and by the way, that is an Excalibur. Look at this. I just found, I found another one here online. So that's, yeah, pretty cool.

[A]

What's the name of the car company or the model of the car?

[B]

I believe it was a, Is it a Ford Excalibur? Is it a, I don't know. I just, I just googled Excalibur and there's a picture one looks just like that. So, but very cool looking. All right, two seater pipes coming out of the front. Very nice. Now when we come back, we have more of your letters. And coming up in sports, of course.

[A]

We have NBA trade. Last night. I guess it was something Washington wanted in Atlanta. Wanted. I had, I had my found. Found myself scratching my head when I heard. Heard what went on. College football starts tonight. Final Four Fiesta bowl in Glendale, Arizona.

[B]

Did you pick those?

[A]

I did not and will not. And we'll be back.

[B]

Jason, are you cooking chicken? I, I, I, I smell chicken.

[A]

Oh, don't insult me, Tom. Gosh, don't do that. I don't know what I do.

[C]

Do you hear how legitimately upset he is?

[A]

Right, Right.

[C]

He's so mad.

[A]

Oh, call me.

[B]

We didn't lose him till 9 o' clock yesterday.

[A]

Go shat by the fireplace.

[E]

Anyway, that's a Norman Rockwell painting.

[B]

The kids, the two kids looking through the window.

[C]

Look at Uncle Chick.

[B]

These are the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Hey, thanks for listening this morning. Got something to say, send us an email. Bob and Tom. Bob and Tom. Dot com.

[B]

Well, that's my lucky day.

[A]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[D]

Hi, Chick.

[A]

Hi There's Pat Godwin.

[C]

Hello, Chick.

[A]

Willie Griswold, my man. Yes, indeed. There's Josh Arnold at the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair, asking you to.

[E]

Remind her of that in love sunset vacation feeling with Steven Singer's brand new sunset set. 24 karat gold dipped rose exclusively and only @I hate stephensinger.com.

[A]

And there's Ace. And that's right, ladies, he still has the beard. So hang in there. I'm Chick McGee at the Prize pick sports desk. Hello, Tom.

[B]

Now, are we gonna get a decision from Ace or is just gonna come in one day and have the beard.

[A]

Gone or considering it his face? It's his life.

[E]

Yeah, and you also know how Ace operates. You. You suggest that he might. He should maybe do something that won't happen. I say that with a certain amount of. Because I'm. I have a similar thing, so.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Oh, yeah, dude.

[B]

Now, in case they're doing a stage production of Sanford and Son and they need a new Grady, I think that's the look.

[C]

It's a cool look. And especially with the quarters.

[E]

Thank you, Willie.

[C]

You kind of look like an NFL defensive coordinator.

[E]

Does that make sense that we all legitimately like.

[C]

Yeah, we like it.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Hang on a second.

[E]

What did you coat till itches?

[A]

What did you say, Christy?

[D]

I don't know what I said.

[A]

Did you say. Who cares?

[D]

Who cares?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You seem the only one to be concerned.

[D]

Ace be Ace.

[C]

And also, I don't know if you realize this Ace's appearance. It's none of your business, but I.

[B]

Have to look at him.

[E]

You understand?

[C]

Willie, you just don't get it.

[D]

No. You never look at Ace.

[E]

You know what, Tom?

[D]

I'm surprised you know, that he has exactly.

[E]

No, I. I want to thank Tom for trying to protect us from. From poor aesthetics. I never looked at it that way.

[A]

You know what?

[E]

Now I understand.

[A]

We've all been there. What the hell's going on with this guy? Stay out of my field of vision.

[B]

I mean, if Chrissy went back to the look where she had the. All the frizzy curls. Yeah, I'd say something.

[D]

Well, I won't do that, so you don't have to worry.

[A]

The Jerry Maguire kid.

[D]

Well, that was even short. That was real short.

[B]

Your hair looks great now.

[D]

I miss that same way for 50 years now.

[C]

Now looks great now.

[A]

Me too.

[E]

You had a perm for a while.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You're such a jerk. The way you talk.

[D]

I don't care.

[A]

I dress the same way I did in junior year in high school. I Swear.

[D]

Yeah. I put up a picture yesterday on Instagram to promote something and it's 10 years old and I kept getting all this. Man, you look great. This is awesome. Yeah, because it's a 10 year old picture, but.

[B]

Well, let's. Let's move forward here.

[A]

Dear Bob and Tom show.

[B]

Okay, what do you got?

[A]

Dear Imbeciles.

[E]

Hi.

[C]

That's nice.

[A]

As an avid listener. Oh, this is Yvonne from which. What you talking about, Kansas? Oh, she's an avid listener. There are times I wish you could all step back and listen to the conversations you were talking about. It's clear to me you're so involved, you don't really hear what is being said and what you're saying.

[C]

I've told dad for years, you got to listen to the show.

[B]

I acknowledge that we would be.

[A]

I don't know if we'd be any better if you'd start listening.

[B]

Oh, no, I'm busy over here.

[A]

Anyway, the case with the electric shave commercial.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Yesterday you hunted down and played It's Clear from what's Being Said said that the product in the commercial. The product is not an aftershave. And she's correct.

[B]

Yes. It's a pre shave.

[A]

You put it on to stiffens the beard.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

I had asked if it was an.

[B]

Aftershave, but as I recall, it has a lot of scent to it. Willie, you ever heard the jingle for.

[C]

Electric shave for the Bob and Tom bit or the real.

[B]

No, the real one. I think this is this Terry Bradshaw. Here it is. Real quick.

[C]

Here is make your beard stand up.

[A]

Make your razor shave man with electric shade.

[C]

You learn pretty fast for a football player.

[A]

The other voice, according to another email we received, is Cliff Stout, who was a backup quarterback for Pittsburgh.

[C]

Wait, by the way, did that say football play? Is that ad so old? Terry Bradshaw was playing football?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

You asked me if I've ever heard a commercial from when Terry Bradshaw was tearing up afc.

[A]

But you don't understand, Willie. We've been talking about Wells Fargo delivering packages and the Music man movie and play.

[E]

You're right.

[F]

You're right.

[A]

So Terry Bradshaw playing football is just yesterday.

[F]

That's rough.

[B]

That's relatively contemporary.

[C]

I haven't seen you guys for a few weeks. I forgot what time it was.

[F]

I get it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

What time is it? Thank you.

[A]

Yvonne. Continues. A spritz cookie.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Is indeed a cookie pressed out from a cookie press. Traditionally, it's has an almond flavor to it. Courtesy almond flavoring. Many of us baby boomers had moms who had the Miro cookie press kit.

[E]

Really?

[A]

I've never heard of that.

[D]

Yeah, Mama made cookies.

[A]

M I R R O.

[C]

Dad, you like a kit. Does that make you excited?

[B]

Yeah, but I mean, what this is referencing is a news story yesterday about gravestones that have recipes on them.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

And a woman has compiled a book of recipes from the grave. It's. And she's tried the recipes. It got permissions of the families.

[F]

And you know what?

[C]

That's good because those recipes, they're probably concise. It's not like the ones online. When you look them up and, oh, it's a cool spring day. It always reminds me of.

[D]

Oh, yeah, they're very concise.

[C]

They're not a grandmother.

[D]

You gotta go quick, jump to recipe. That's what you do.

[B]

Yeah, it's.

[D]

That would be funny.

[B]

What's the name of that book?

[C]

That's how I died in the first place.

[D]

Yeah. The book is called To Die for A Cookbook of gravestone recipes.

[B]

And Ms. Hooker is going to be grabbing a copy of the book and making one of those dishes for Cookbook us. We recently tried my mom, my late mother's delightful, delightful rolls.

[C]

Oh, her sweet rolls.

[B]

Oh, they're fantastic.

[C]

If I ate one of those, I would cry a million percent.

[B]

They're so good. But, yeah, it's great. A great legacy in the world of cooking.

[E]

I want you to know that we had a lot of them. Willie and I threw them into the street.

[B]

Want to cry some more? You go.

[C]

Not for me.

[E]

No, dude, they were.

[C]

They were amazing. They're crazy.

[E]

I took six home. I just. Yeah, I did.

[C]

Dude, the leftover one, you microwave it like four seconds.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

What?

[E]

Your dad.

[C]

Milk. Four seconds. Gosh, I. He bugs me so much. But I am exactly like him, aren't I?

[E]

I hate that. I just.

[C]

Yeah, but it's okay.

[A]

No, no, no. Yeah.

[B]

Now, coming up, we have some sporting news. We have some more of your letters. You can reach us, Bob and tomobandtom.com Exciting things going on in the world of sports and news today, including a. An odd arrest in Florida, but a bizarre story involving Matt Khalil.

[C]

Oh, yeah, the ex football player with the double coke can.

[B]

Yes. And the size of. The size of his male member became public domain or something.

[A]

Why would you be ashamed of that? He's upset.

[B]

I know he's upset. And he's actually suing. So we're going to find out this headline in sports.

[A]

Ready?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Listen to me. We'll cover it during the sport. Listen to this sentence. Peacock Audio enhancements will allow fans to mute announcers and adjust crowd noise during sports broadcast to the each in particular viewer. Specific viewer. How exactly?

[B]

Oh, I. I guess you'll go into on the screen and select which one you want.

[C]

They're calling it Al Michaels. See you later.

[A]

That's probably. Yeah. Or. What do you mean?

[D]

I think people lose their jobs after that because they'll look at the.

[C]

No kidding.

[B]

Yeah, well, they're already doing stats.

[C]

Also, I love Al Michaels. He's a legend.

[E]

Wait, wait. They can't start doing that to this show.

[A]

Hey, Josh. Yeah, they can, as long as it mutes Scott Hansen. I'm.

[E]

I'm going to meet so many people. Yeah, I was listening to Godwin yesterday. God damn it.

[C]

You know, the show is more confusing when I can't hear you, but it is better. You know, you miss a lot of the words and a lot of the context, but boy, oh, boy, do not have to hear your dumb voice. People write that in.

[A]

Chick must be sick again, huh?

[B]

But you like to sometimes watch a game and then have the local radio.

[A]

Oh, you have to. Yeah.

[B]

If you're true fan announcers on. Yeah. And you can do that with a number of things, which is cool. We'll get to all these stories. I'm very excited about all of them.

[A]

Good luck, everybody.

[B]

Also, we have a naked lady in the news, which is always fun. We got cool news involving drones and dogs. It's all happening right here at the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, where this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Get a look at today's show on our YouTube channel, full of sports. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[D]

Hello, Chick.

[A]

She's at the Silac Insurance news desk. There's Pat Godwin.

[C]

Hey, Chick.

[A]

There's Willie Griswold.

[C]

Hey, good morning.

[A]

There's Josh Arnold.

[E]

Hi.

[A]

At the I hate Stephen Singer sidekick chair, there's Ace Cosby. Abby. I'm Chick McGee at the Prize Picks sports desk. And here's our leader, Tom Griswold. Hello, Tom.

[B]

Hello, Chick McGee.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Coming up, we have a news story about a guy who's upset that his former wife went on a podcast and discussed the massive genitalia that he allegedly sports. And he's not happy about it. So we'll find out about that.

[E]

I get this.

[A]

We can find out about that right?

[B]

Right now. But we got our letters to Keep reading. You.

[A]

You're the one who's muddied the water. This guy's penis is on everybody's mind now.

[B]

I feel like I need to do it. Really. So that's. That's the teaser.

[A]

Former NFL offensive tackle Matt Khalil. I think he went to usc. I'm not sure. Is suing his ex wife, Haley, for sharing intimate details about his manhood.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The lawsuit stems from Haley's appearance on a Twitch livestream with Marlon Garcia. I'm Marlon Garcia. Where she implied that the size of his genitalia was a primary factor in the party's divorce.

[E]

It has to be a curse.

[A]

It has to be a negative.

[E]

It's been described as two Coke cans.

[B]

Oh, yeah. What do they say? Exactly.

[A]

She said, quote, two Coke cans on top of each other, maybe even a third.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[B]

That's.

[E]

No woman.

[D]

You can't handle that.

[B]

I mean, but he's suing because he's. Keep reading.

[A]

The lawsuit states his ex wife's invasive commentary ruined Khalil's attempt at keeping out of the public eye and has led to an influx of disturbing messages on social media.

[E]

I have no doubt.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

He's 36 years old and requesting a jury trial in damages of over $75,000.

[C]

I mean, just how many women and gay men sending him videos of them with a Coke can in their mouth.

[A]

Oh, that's.

[C]

Oh, yeah, that's too much. No, it's. I'm saying the fellas are having a good time sending them to him.

[B]

But didn't he. Wait a second. I remember this guy. Then he. After this came out, somebody offered him one of the. I think I'll have to find the story. Remember this? Somebody offered him, like, pornhub or something to pose.

[E]

Oh, really?

[B]

Here it is. Here it is.

[E]

Maybe cam soda.

[C]

I think it actually was cam soda.

[B]

An adorable. This says an adult cam site has sent former Minnesota Vikings offensive tackle Matt Khalil an offer to pose. You're right. It's Cam soda. Extended a $300,000 offer to Mr. Khalil to showcase his member online as part of a campaign called the Big Confidence Campaign. He obviously didn't accept that offer.

[D]

Obviously not.

[B]

He wants a. What does he want? 75,000.

[A]

75K.

[B]

So he's turning down 300?

[A]

Seems wrong.

[C]

Well, and also, isn't this just going to make people talk about it more like we're talking about it again? Because he's suing. If he did nothing, we would just let this go.

[D]

Exactly.

[E]

Don't you kind of want to sue your ex wife no matter what.

[A]

I know I do. I want to sue all of them.

[C]

Also, it'd be pretty cool to have court documents that say how big your penis is that are publicly available and.

[A]

Carry it around with you when you go to the bars.

[C]

Yeah, it's nice.

[A]

Hey, excuse me. Can I buy you a drink? Check this out.

[D]

It's not a.

[B]

Don't they have to do something called discovery in a trial like this?

[E]

Well, he just whips out exhibit D, right?

[D]

It's a show and tell, baby. That's all it is.

[A]

How about them apples, huh?

[B]

Or maybe he could cut a deal with Pepsi. Yeah, or Gatorade.

[E]

Right? He should show up on a Super Bowl.

[B]

Come on.

[E]

I like to think that in court for just. For no reason, he has to whip it out and then they. They have him try on a glove. I don't know what to tell you.

[D]

Married the guy knowing it wasn't going to get smaller. I.

[C]

Come on, that's funny. She's like, I can fix them.

[D]

Yeah, right.

[B]

I mean, there's also the possibility that she's making this all up.

[E]

True.

[B]

Well, but, I mean, that's quite a.

[A]

Gambit, if you will.

[B]

But on the other hand, isn't this like someone saying, well, he's got great taste, impeccable style, and he's a terrific dancer? You know what I'm saying? It's not. There's a positive spin to this slightly, but I.

[E]

Again, that's a curse that big of a penis, Trust me.

[A]

But yeah.

[B]

Josh, as you know from the meetings, it's supposed to be anonymous cannabis, you know, D A?

[A]

Oh, boy.

[E]

Well, we'll see. I'm nowhere near three Coke ends.

[D]

Who wants to.

[E]

I'm a Red Bull. Maybe.

[B]

Ever seen those mini Sprites?

[A]

Half a Red Bull cut in half.

[C]

Like a Foster is one of the thick ones.

[B]

Oh. Oh, wow.

[D]

That's about what it would be, I would think, if it's double a Coke can.

[C]

I thought it was stacked on top. Almost three.

[D]

I thought it was whipped.

[E]

No, no, no, she said stack.

[B]

Well, still, a Coke can is. That's a lot of girth. Yeah, she.

[F]

She.

[B]

The exact. I got the exact quote here. Two Coke cans on top of each other.

[D]

Thank you, comma.

[B]

Maybe a third. Okay, so that's free. Yes.

[E]

It's not far from that bat barrel. You're right.

[A]

From about. From about there. You think?

[E]

What are you supposed to do with that?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

What are you doing? I don't know.

[E]

Even as a guy, she could do anything. You're like, oh, I still feel barely anything.

[D]

I can't handle that.

[A]

I can do one of my sounds.

[C]

Ready?

[D]

Yep.

[C]

That is a good sound.

[E]

That was that guy taking his pants off.

[A]

That's right. Sorry, hon.

[B]

Okay, back to our letters. We'll return to the sports page in just a moment.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Let's see now.

[A]

Dear Bob and Tom Show.

[B]

Oh, go ahead.

[A]

Good morning, legends.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

As a young man, I bartended in a large nightclub. And during slow times, I would practice tying cherry stems into knots. Used to using only my tongue, I got good enough that I could tie four to five knots in one stem.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

After mastering that, I started using three stems and taught myself how to tie them all together into the shape of a poodle.

[E]

The wife of the nightclub owner took an interest in me.

[A]

The ladies loved it. That's Steve and Springfield, Mo.

[B]

How about that? We were talking about that because. Because an apple stem was one of the things removed from male members in an emergency room.

[A]

Dear.

[B]

This comes to us from Northwood, Iowa. Second generation listener Bob.

[E]

We've had some great shows there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He said, oh, he lives in Northwoods.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Southwoods is really a little. Little bad.

[E]

We know where you. We. We see your colors.

[A]

I'm just saying. Go ahead, Tom Sink. I'm serious.

[C]

Look at him.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

How's he know about Southwoods, Iowa? Go ahead, read the.

[B]

Let meant Eastwood. That's where the nice houses are. Tom's interview with Gary Dick was awesome. We have a link to that, I think, on our social media. Gary Dick did a nice interview. We had fun talking about the early days of the show and stuff. He goes. I loved hearing the stories about the origins of the show. It led me to Christy Lee's interview with Gary.

[D]

Oh, thank you.

[B]

I enjoyed hearing how the legendary Christy Lee got started in broadcasting. Sting. That's nice.

[D]

Nice.

[B]

Did you. When did you do that? A year ago.

[D]

Oh, gosh. It's been a couple years ago.

[B]

Okay, well, I didn't. So that's out there, too. We'll have.

[D]

I don't promote myself.

[B]

We'll have to find that and link that.

[E]

So when I turn 91, he'll interview me.

[D]

Ouch.

[A]

He still hasn't interviewed me.

[E]

It's because you're not 91 yet.

[D]

Neither am I.

[B]

He does the ladies at 80. You know that.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

Sports coming up. Tom.

[C]

It's good to see you guys again, man.

[F]

This is fun.

[B]

No, it's a fun. It's a fun interview. And I'd like to see the one with Christie. That'll be cool. Some behind the scenes stuff, some great stories about.

[A]

I'd like to see him lose everything is what I'd like to see.

[E]

He'll call you.

[A]

No, I hope he does. I'm not answering. I ain't answering.

[B]

Will, would you like me to make a call for you?

[A]

No, no, no. Especially no.

[B]

Didn't you.

[A]

Tom said I had to call you. So what's like working with. No.

[B]

Did. Did. Did you get into the hall of fame for your high school finally?

[A]

What do you mean finally? I was in the first class.

[C]

First class ballot.

[D]

I was the one you had to.

[E]

Oh, sorry, I'm not in there.

[D]

You're not?

[E]

No.

[A]

I'm not in the hall of fame that you two are in, though. And Bob.

[B]

No, Christy, are you in the high school hall of fame finally? They.

[D]

Yes, they did. Finally.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's not a sore point.

[D]

It's an honor.

[B]

Okay. Are you in your high school hall?

[C]

I'm in the case there are 11 and a football team when I was a sophomore, but that's it.

[B]

I really don't have a thing like prowess as a guitarist.

[C]

Not yet.

[B]

A lot of life left in me.

[D]

Do they have a hall of fame? I mean, a wall of fame?

[C]

I don't know. To be honest with you, I don't think so.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. My high school does not have a hall of fame.

[E]

They keep telling you.

[B]

You mean. I mean, if I were to go back, there's a.

[D]

Well, the way you tell me. Imagine the way you talk. Everybody would be on it.

[E]

Well, distinguished.

[A]

How many supreme.

[D]

Everybody's distinguished.

[A]

Supreme Court justices went to your high school? Dozens.

[B]

Sure. Several now. Well, let's move forward here. What is it? Can you give me the sports teaser?

[A]

I'm not sure. Yes. The college football playoffs are down to the final Four Fiesta bowl tonight. Oh, Mish and Miami. We'll see how that happens.

[D]

And then tomorrow on that.

[A]

What is it? Ole Miss getting six.

[D]

Really?

[A]

Five and a half. Six.

[B]

You're not. You're not officially not picking?

[A]

No, I'm not.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

No. I'm leaving the kids. Leave the kids alone.

[B]

Okay, now, can you quietly pick one just for me?

[A]

No. No. What do you mean? What would that entail? Just I. I tell you in the.

[B]

Hallway and you say it out loud right now. But I. We're not going to tell anybody.

[D]

Oh, God.

[E]

Isn't that.

[B]

Cuz. I know you're. I know you're leaning. You're leaning toward.

[A]

We're on the air clown.

[B]

Giving up the points.

[A]

Okay, Indiana's Going to be the national. National champions.

[G]

You're right.

[B]

It's bold.

[A]

Oregon's losing. Oregon's lost their running back, I guess.

[D]

Yeah, they did. That was.

[A]

But that wouldn't have helped. Indiana's someone. My boy Joel Clatt made this point. I saw it yesterday. He said if this was a different logo, so it was the Ohio State or Michigan or Georgia or Alabama, this would be considered one of the greatest college football teams ever assembled.

[B]

Really.

[A]

And because Indiana and the Indiana. That's a basketball school and that's the.

[D]

Reason we have that reputation.

[B]

Now. Are you going to go to. Your husband is going to.

[D]

He's not going to my Miami. He says.

[B]

Right now, watch this, watch this. What if he says you get to go with him?

[D]

No, I. I don't want to go. Want to go?

[C]

Why not?

[D]

I want. Because this is his thing. Even though I went to Indiana for a while, this is his thing.

[E]

You hear that? Wives out there across America, son.

[D]

He and his son enjoy it. They have a great time.

[E]

Let your guy have his thing.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Why don't you buy tickets to Miami right there?

[D]

Now, why would I do that?

[B]

As a present. You could. I mean, what a.

[A]

You can always cash him in, but you're not going to have to because you're going to need them next Monday.

[B]

Oh, it'll be fun.

[A]

The 19th, I think it is.

[D]

Yeah, it's the 19th.

[A]

All right.

[E]

Her husband loves her. She doesn't have to constantly buy one's love.

[C]

Got chilly in here.

[E]

I know this is a tough concept.

[A]

You know, you know, it. It warms my heart to realize when that comes, taking care of Tom is in rock hard hands. Well done, Josh. Well done, Josh.

[C]

That was awesome.

[A]

Well, thank you very much.

[B]

I could say that. If you've got a house, buy that.

[A]

Woman some home serve.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

That'll shut her trap.

[B]

Home serve. What's it all about? Well, at Cena, you've got insurance on your car. You've got insurance probably on your phone, maybe even on your dog. And you got home insurance. But that doesn't cover the little stuff. The stuff that could really be destructive, like a pipe bursting, that kind of thing, or the electricity going out. And all of a sudden your. Your box over there has got sparks.

[A]

Coming out of it.

[B]

This is where homeserve comes in. Owning a home is a lot of fun, but sometimes those days happen where it's not much fun. Homeowners insurance doesn't cover lots of stuff and especially stuff that you need to get done quick, like those broken pipes. We've all been through this and maybe an H vac problem at the wrong time. So find out what HomeServe can do for you. Basically, we're talking about that 24. 7 hotline. Get somebody over there to start doing that fixing as fast as possible. And HomeServe, the price is amazing. It begins at just $4.99 a month with 4.5 million customers. There are rating 4.8 out of 5 post repair rating an A plus from the Better Business Bureau. So this is the real deal. And again, quite a value. Anyone who's had to deal with, like I said, a burst water pipe or in my case a backing up septic system three houses ago, that was rough. But when you've got HomeServe, you've got somebody over there very quickly to help you out. So find out the details. Go to homeserve.com Like I said, plans start at just $4.99 a month so you can protect your home systems and your wallet. HomeServe find out what repairs are covered. See a plan that's right for you. HomeServe.com not available everywhere so see if you're eligible. Most plans, like I said, start at just 499amonth, going up to just under 12 bucks a month for the first year. Terms of plan covered repairs homeserve.com Remember that 4.8 out of 5 post repair rating in the A plus from the Better Business Bureau. That tells you something, makes it worth that. Visit to homeserve.com we'd love to get more letters from you. Bob and [e-mail] Special edition of Sexy Time with Ali Breen coming up today. Plus comedian Al Jackson. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Hello, Tom.

[B]

Hello, Chick McGee. Just going over some paperwork here, of.

[A]

Course, doing a little homework.

[B]

Interesting things going on. We've got Greg Hahn at the comedy club in Lawrence, Kansas. Larry K coming up starting tonight, celebrating.

[A]

The Chiefs playing in Kansas.

[E]

Yeah, probably are. Y won't be far from Lawrence at all.

[B]

Tim Allen in Boise, Idaho coming up.

[A]

This weekend, potato days in full swing.

[B]

Is it potato days? Okay, let's, let's, are we going to get over to the sports page? What do you got over there?

[A]

Trey Young's time with the Hawks is over. This is a trade that in any sport when they announce announced it on SportsCenter and it was late and when I saw it, but I almost fell asleep during the announcement, I could care less.

[C]

Yeah, this is not the Luca trade.

[A]

No.

[B]

Pretty boring.

[A]

Certainly isn't. Trey Young traded from the Hawks to the Wizards for a package including veteran CJ McCollum. Did that change your life?

[B]

No.

[A]

No, I didn't think it.

[E]

And the Wizards is nerdy, isn't it?

[F]

It is.

[C]

When I heard the trade, I confused it with the Magic. Why are there two magic themed basketball teams?

[A]

Well, the Washington Wizards used to be the Bullets.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Well, the Baltimore Bullets and I mean, evidently that's kind of a. Yeah, that's.

[E]

That's sort of. But it's also a kind of a strong name.

[A]

Yes.

[E]

And certainly the Bullets.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

The Naples. Unlike the Naples Napalm Philly. There's not really much of an association. Association with.

[A]

Too exact.

[D]

You don't think of wizards being in D.C. do you?

[A]

Well, they do some fun stuff up there on Capitol Hill.

[C]

Like magic.

[B]

My tax money. My tax money disappears.

[A]

Like magic.

[D]

Well, there's that. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. College Football playoff semifinal. We're in the final four tonight. The Fiesta Bowl. It'll be a game like no other. Number six seed, Mississippi, number 10 Miami will play in the national championship game following a battle of teams left out of the college football playoffs a year ago.

[E]

Chick, where are you on a seven layer dip?

[B]

What? Love.

[D]

You don't love a seven layer dip?

[A]

Absolutely.

[D]

Tom doesn't know what.

[C]

Get the olives out of there. Make it six. Get the olives out.

[D]

I'm totally with you, Willie.

[E]

I'm no longer as anti black olive as I used to be.

[A]

Can we put them on the side?

[E]

I'm going to agree with you on that.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Well, I hope someone didn't go under a bridge halfway through that. That sentence.

[A]

So anyway, he said, trying to change the topic.

[C]

Finally, I did get tempted by the devil.

[B]

Last night.

[C]

We were at a sushi restaurant. My nine year old sister goes, why does this guacamole look so weird?

[A]

It was wasabi.

[C]

And I go, you got to try the guacamole. Think of. And she didn't do it. It was. But yeah, I was tempted by the devil, man.

[B]

She. She takes no prisoner. She was giving it back to Willie. Big time Sushi again.

[D]

That's nice. You haven't had that for a while. Yeah.

[B]

And I realized why I didn't really like it anymore. I'm over it.

[C]

You're over sushi?

[D]

How can you.

[A]

That's a little sad, but I think it's time to.

[E]

Have you guys ever bailed on a food just.

[A]

Yeah, but he does this all the time.

[D]

All the time.

[A]

And I I'm trying to break through the clutter in your mind because I know some people can. Can actually make an impression on you. And you remember things they say, like for instance, a stray waiter, you know, a guy at a gas station.

[C]

A guy that sold you a car 20 years ago.

[A]

Yeah, sure, yeah. But you're. You're going, honey, you're going to run out of food to eat.

[B]

Okay, I'm just. I'm just.

[A]

You need protein.

[C]

Well, it's because you get fixated. You get fixated on one thing.

[D]

Yes. Have you gone all the time.

[C]

What's the last day you've gone without eating salmon? Three months, four months ago.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

You know, I enjoy some salmon.

[E]

Yeah, man.

[A]

Yeah, some.

[C]

But you're gonna outdo salmon. You're gonna lose sushi. Then you're gonna lose cooked sushi. You're gonna lose salmon. I mean, you're gonna be screws down.

[D]

Yeah. You're gonna turn pink.

[E]

You don't think you'll find something else?

[F]

You won't find.

[E]

You'll find something else.

[B]

I'm. I'm on a chicken phase right now.

[E]

All right. The year of the chicken.

[B]

This is the year of the chicken.

[E]

That's right.

[C]

Like a roaster chicken. What kind of chicken?

[B]

All kinds of chicken. I like it cooked and you don't like it.

[C]

Chicken sushi there. I hate that raw chicken. Oh, yeah, that chicken sashimi. That's good stuff.

[B]

See, what they should have done last night is you take those sushi. Sushi rolls.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Deep fry them and bring them back. Then we'll talk. They do that.

[D]

They do that.

[C]

They do it at sushi places. We went to a nice sushi place. Go to a non nice one, they'll stuff it with cream cheese and deep fry it.

[D]

Well, that rock and roll. Roll.

[C]

Exactly. That's good.

[D]

That's deep fried.

[B]

Okay, fine.

[A]

I'm just.

[E]

Either way, it's okay to be.

[C]

I'm over it.

[A]

I don't know. Salmon is. Is that you consider that rock solid, safe to eat.

[B]

My doctor tells me that's. That's what.

[A]

No kidding?

[B]

What is that stuff? Omega 3. I'm low on my own. The only thing I didn't pass in my physical was my Omega 3 level, whatever the hell that means.

[E]

Salmon will absolute.

[B]

Can I take the pills? He goes, no, no, no, no supplements. Eat more salmon.

[C]

Have the diet of a bear.

[B]

That should help. Go in a river.

[D]

Go out there and stand out.

[A]

You know what is.

[B]

You know, you guys got me hooked up with the wind cooker. I Mean the air fryer. The air fryer.

[E]

Fried salmon last night.

[B]

That's the way to do the salmon.

[E]

Oh, yeah, fantastic.

[A]

However, minutes, don't tell them that bears eat salmon because bears, for the most part, are fat. And you know how it hates fat.

[C]

Hates fat people.

[E]

How much salmon you have to eat to become fat off of it, man.

[A]

Like, like.

[B]

I'm trying, I'm trying.

[C]

And Josh, that's the thing. Bears don't have any portion control.

[B]

It's a shame, right?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I'll just have one more sandwich. This is my bear voice. Oh, I gotta go.

[E]

Where are the woods?

[D]

There's their bear voice.

[E]

Oh, that answers that question.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

Oh, you know how I like the. The. The Charman. The Charman commercials with the bear family and the little baby bears that mom and dad at the breakfast table. And here he's eating salmon flakes. But there's a new one. A little baby bear comes home from work holding his algebra book over his butt because he has little flecks of toilet paper, a lesser toilet paper on his behind.

[E]

Oh, he's a little embarrassed.

[A]

Yeah, he was embarrassed. But Charmin Strong.

[B]

You assume that started with a bunch of, I'm sure, guys sitting around a table in Madison Avenue ad guys going, well, what do we associate with crapping the most? Bears, sir. They go in the woods.

[A]

Yeah, they go in the woods.

[B]

Johnson, that's brilliant.

[A]

Let's make a baby bear.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Red bears and blue bears.

[B]

I see. What else is there?

[A]

Was I. Let's see. Indiana, three and a half point favorite Friday night, and Miami, a three point favorite tonight.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I think both games take the favorite and give the points.

[E]

You must have loved the song Miami when Will Smith did it, because it was also Big Willie style.

[C]

I love that song so much.

[E]

Yeah, yeah. And where you live, you were living in.

[C]

Are you kidding me? I was in my bedroom after school playing in a boombox, standing alone in my underwear. Heat bringing the heat. Yeah, I mean, south beach bringing the heat. Dude, I was Big Willie style.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

I was such a fan of Will Smith. Still am. He's a likable guy. Maybe you hear stuff about him now. Well, a couple things sound like sort of a, you know, a really intentional psychopath, but boy, did I love Big Willy style.

[D]

Where is the Fiesta Bowl? I'm not.

[A]

Glendale, Arizona, where the Cardinals play.

[B]

You know, back in my day, they.

[C]

Called it the party bowl, but now we got to change everything, don't we?

[B]

Oh, yeah, it's a fiesta.

[E]

That's what made me think of seven layer dip.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

I would want it served in the Fiesta Bowl.

[D]

We had a fiesta last night. Mexico.

[A]

We did. Mexico.

[B]

I'm not sure exactly why, but I don't even know what that is.

[D]

Of course you don't.

[B]

Seven layer dip.

[E]

Essentially all the ingredients of your. Your good tacos, burritos. It's. It's a Mexican.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What do we got, like a refried bean there? Sour cream, guac, lettuce.

[E]

Is it on a plate usually like a casserole dish or a bowl.

[D]

Right.

[B]

You dip chips into it.

[E]

Absolutely. And you go all the way to the bottom and you get all those, all the layers. It's like eating a taco.

[C]

So you wouldn't like it because it involves friends and sharing. So it's not. You have to be around other people.

[E]

I'm against those things.

[B]

I love that chick, and I should both go there.

[A]

Then let's do it.

[D]

I said, he doesn't like to go to a party. And that's.

[C]

Look at that.

[B]

I'm. I am so out. I wouldn't touch that at all.

[E]

Oh, that's interesting because you love the ideas of walking tacos and.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know the. Yeah. What are those? Those. Those are olives.

[D]

Black olives. I can't do.

[B]

Those are tires.

[E]

I thought they were old Cheerios.

[C]

They turned the old Cheerios in the jar.

[A]

They lower cholesterol and they turn black.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

Cheerios at home.

[E]

Not in a long, long time. And I think they're a fine cereal, particularly the honey nut.

[C]

And they have like a. It's like a weird, like, Honey nut.

[D]

Cheerios are like crack.

[C]

They're so good. They're so good, you know, I mean, they're probably not as good as crack.

[D]

Right out of the box.

[C]

Crack's pretty good, by the way, I'd.

[B]

Like to say so. I have at my home a. A box of Cheerios. Because my daughter. Heart her. Her every night if she doesn't eat what Kelly and I make. Usually. Kelly, she's allowed to have Cheerios?

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

You're doing her no favors.

[B]

Oh, no. I was the same. I was Rice Krispies.

[A]

Indulging misbehavior. I will give you. Here's exhibit A, sitting next to me. This is what you're going to end up with.

[C]

No, I grew up under a different regime. Things are crazy now. Things are crazy now.

[B]

I have no doubt the boxes.

[C]

I grew up in Cuba in, like, the 40s. Now it's Cuba and it's the Bay of Pigs right now. Stuff's going crazy over there. You guys, you had no idea what's happening.

[B]

The size of some of the cereal boxes. They're gigantic.

[D]

You don't have to buy them that big.

[C]

Oh, can I tell you guys the thing he complained about? He goes, yeah, things have been really hard lately. The dishwasher in the parlor broken?

[A]

The parlor.

[B]

It's not. It's a pantry, you know, And I.

[A]

Go down deep, down deep. I think we all knew there were quotes like that happening.

[B]

It's the one in the pantry.

[A]

It's really dishwasher. Wonderful.

[C]

It's getting so crazy.

[F]

Just.

[E]

I mean, for me, honestly. Honestly, it is the. It's the other dishwasher. Like that kind of. What?

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Two.

[C]

Oh, you think there's just two, pal? You're a fool. You're a fool if you think there's two.

[D]

How many dishwashers? Dishwashers?

[A]

Four or he likes dishwashers.

[E]

Do you live in a chili? Why are there four dishwashers?

[A]

That does seem to be even dishwashers, even for a family of four.

[B]

There are two in the kitchen. Two in the kitchen, One in the pantry, then one in the pool.

[E]

I mean, that's really suck. What? See, where I grew up, the pool was the dishwasher.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

But the one in the pantry has been broken since July.

[C]

Dishes in the pantry.

[B]

First of all, I do the dishes by hand every night, and then I get them completely clean, then put them in the dishwasher, and then turn it on. Can we.

[E]

I'd like to learn more about this, because what are the. Multiple dishwashers?

[D]

Yeah, what are they for?

[C]

Well, one's for fine china, one's for the daily glasses.

[B]

Do you have a.

[E]

Is there a reason?

[D]

Yeah. Why?

[B]

Yeah, I just like avenue.

[E]

That is really. You know what.

[D]

But you don't allow them to do their job.

[B]

Yes, I do. They sterilize the stuff.

[E]

I'm simultaneously, like, furious and confused, but also, like, I. I can't wait. Yeah, I can't. I have to get myself what I would.

[B]

If I ever build another house, I'm gonna have. I'm gonna have.

[C]

Don't build another house.

[B]

I'm gonna have a laundry room with at least two washing machines and two dryers and a giant area for dry hanging.

[C]

Don't you already have two washing machines?

[B]

One of them's upstairs. I don't want to go up.

[C]

Oh, it isn't that one, bro.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

I'm considering line drying this spring and summer.

[A]

It's funny.

[E]

I really think.

[C]

I love that for you, I line Dry.

[B]

I line dry all my jeans.

[D]

You hang them outside on a clothesline?

[B]

No, I hang them inside.

[D]

Well, that's what.

[E]

Yeah, I want them billowing in the wind.

[A]

They get fluffy and those are.

[B]

They're. Never mind. I don't want to break my resolution. I'm not gonna say a word.

[C]

Is your resolution no fat jokes or.

[E]

Yeah, that's been his resolution for, like, the last seven years.

[B]

I'm not gonna use the word jeans or spinnaker.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Maybe the mast sale, something.

[B]

You're going for a little sailing joke there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Say hi to my friends on little Travers Bay.

[C]

It's, you know, good. Good practicing restraint there, by the way.

[E]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Way to not mention spinnaker.

[D]

So now we know why you've never allowed us to come to your home. Because we would make fun of all these things.

[E]

Four dishwashers.

[D]

Four.

[A]

Well, I thought it was because he just didn't really like it.

[D]

He doesn't.

[E]

I've spent a significant amount of my life with no dishwasher. You tell me too apartments.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

So I'm paying myself back.

[E]

You know what I like.

[B]

Haven't you ever made, like, you have people over and you've got, like, you got. You know, you put, like, big pots and you've got the spaghetti strainer and then. Oh, that fills that one.

[E]

Yeah, but it's always fills that.

[C]

Not every day is Thanksgiving. You don't operate a restaurant.

[A]

Welcome home.

[C]

Every day is Thanksgiving.

[B]

The other thing is, I will run it with almost nothing in it because I hate having dirty dishes. Yeah. I don't like it. I don't like to walk, get home and. Oh, there's like. Like four plates and a glass in the sink.

[D]

Why don't they just put them in the dishwasher?

[A]

Right.

[B]

Yeah. And you turn it on.

[E]

I really wait until it's full.

[B]

No.

[E]

Why do we fullish?

[D]

We wait till it's almost full.

[B]

Oh, no, no. You don't get them clean. Too crowded. I don't know. No, it's like the same thing with people living in New York City. They're filthy because there are too many of them in confined areas. But you get out to the country, and you've got honest Americans that bathe. Thank you.

[D]

Oh, this is from Kent.

[C]

What are you. Are you a city elitist or.

[A]

Now you're a big. What?

[B]

I mean.

[C]

I mean, just the lack of he's whatever.

[E]

Is the most offensive at the time.

[F]

Yes.

[C]

You're so hard to pinpoint. I'm your son. I should get you at Least Ken.

[D]

From Joplin, Missouri said, you know, I'm glad you guys are back, but have you ever thought about doing a segment where Kelly comes in maybe once every couple weeks and gives a behind the scenes look?

[B]

Oh, that's a terrible idea, you filthy animal. That would be.

[D]

At Tom's life. Behind the scenes means. Yeah.

[E]

We would either laugh harder than we've ever laughed or just be so sad.

[C]

I think we'd laugh. It'd be funny for finally he'd shut.

[A]

Up in this room.

[E]

Was he quiet around?

[C]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[A]

No way to live.

[D]

Boy.

[B]

Well, I've got to get that other dishwasher fixed.

[A]

Yeah. It's being down to three. I don't know how.

[C]

You're best specialist for each dishwasher, don't you? Four different things.

[D]

It's amazing that you have this beautiful brand new home and things are always breaking. It's like you have more people working on your house.

[B]

I guess so.

[C]

Also, you said you want to go to his place.

[F]

You have to call.

[C]

There's so many. You walk in, there's a girl with a clip. Hi. What's your appointment?

[B]

Come on in.

[C]

There's an iPad that you sign in on. You sit in a waiting room. It's crazy. It's like going to the White House.

[E]

We make fun of him, but he is responsible for 20% of the GDP of this state.

[D]

That's true.

[E]

He keeps a lot of people alone.

[C]

And 50% of the water waste in the state as well.

[B]

Well, let's move forward here.

[A]

Coming up in sports, let's take a break.

[D]

We won't make fun of you anymore.

[B]

No, no. I'm, I'm join. Maybe I've got to find out the name of that dishwasher so I can get that part. Been waiting since July.

[C]

The name of the dishwasher. It's just a guy. It's a guy that's arm's broken so he can't.

[E]

It's Felipe.

[A]

There's an old joke about that.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show, sponsored in part by Java House. The official coffee and refreshments of the Bob and Tom Show.

[B]

You could do. You could go tonight. Never mind.

[A]

Smartly done. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[D]

Hi, Trish.

[A]

At the Silac Insurance news desk, there's Pat Godwin.

[D]

Hello.

[A]

Willie Griswold is here.

[F]

Dude.

[A]

And there's Josh Arnold.

[E]

Hey, Trickster.

[A]

The I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick mcgee at the prize pick sports desk. Hello, Tom.

[B]

Hello, Chick McGee. Been reviewing some of the fun stuff going on in sports.

[A]

Would you like to go to Japan?

[B]

Not yet. I just had a weird story about. Was it Matt Khalil?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

We had this story like a month ago. His ex. Ex wife was on some podcast and referenced his male member suggesting it was the size of two Coke cans.

[C]

It wasn't a podcast. It was a twitch stream, which is much worse than a podcast.

[D]

What's a twitch stream?

[E]

Dumb new thing they talk while they're playing games typically.

[C]

Not necessarily. There's also IRL streams, which is just like a day in the life. You're like walking around.

[B]

It's.

[E]

I. Oh, right. Yes, I ate.

[C]

I hate all of it.

[F]

It's so.

[E]

People are making real money on it.

[C]

They are.

[D]

It's.

[C]

I don't hate it. It's just new and it confuses me.

[E]

I'm with you.

[B]

It confuses you. So it was a twitch stream with, let's see. Oh, Marlon Garcia and Haley Khalil. I guess so. This is Mr. Khalil's ex wife and for some reason she's talking about one of the reasons she got divorced is because he was so well hung, to be blunt.

[D]

Right.

[B]

But apparently I guess he was so well hungry Hong that he would frequently just line up during what his NFL career and his penis would be called off sides. So that is a. That is a. That is a large member. There is.

[C]

I was curious why he brought the story back.

[B]

I'm glad.

[C]

You know, offsides is why he often.

[B]

Has to run backwards. That is a big, big. But he's suing now his ex wife because he. For damages of some sort. He doesn't have a prayer to win this because he's a public figure anyway.

[E]

Right.

[A]

I think that could be argued.

[B]

But what a great. That'll be so much fun in court. As you say, they'll have to show the various exhibits during discussion.

[E]

Oh yeah. He'll whip out exhibit D. Exhibit D.

[C]

Just crushes that little microphone.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Hung jury. Hung jury, of course. Good.

[E]

Very good.

[B]

If you want a jury of his peers, it'll have to be a hung jury. Right. But seriously, thank you very much. Chick Magee's at the real sports desk. What's happening?

[A]

A 12 year old boy in Japan planning to quit school to pursue an E sports career. According to the South China Morning Post. I think I've left my subscription lapse on that one. The young gamer who goes by TARU T A R O U spoke sports. There's controversy after announcing that he would not attend secondary school to instead become a professional gamer. The pre teen started gaming at the age of three. Wrote that the decision is the result of a year long discussion with my family in school.

[E]

Oh yeah, must be shot. I couldn't have had a year long discuss.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I, I couldn't have put that sentence together when I was 12. Well I've looked at many aspects of it.

[E]

Yeah. No way.

[A]

The boy's father told reporters he supports his son's choice.

[E]

There's a lot of money in it.

[B]

I guess but you got people right now they're taking 12 year olds down to Florida to. They take, pull them out of school and put them in those professional schools where all they do is play tennis.

[D]

Right. Baseball and. Yeah, yeah. So basketball.

[B]

They do it all pretty much the same thing. Think about all the wasted time you spent in school. God, I look back and go geez, what a walk. The crap that they put me through, wasted.

[C]

When I look back on all the.

[B]

Crap I learned in high school. Little Paul Simon for you. No, but really I kind of get it. Sure he'll be.

[E]

Yeah, I do too.

[B]

He'll be a one dimensional, you know, robot as a human being.

[E]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[B]

He'll be a smart making some good.

[E]

Cash smelly virgin for the rest of his life, but still. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

He'll buy a penthouse apartment and have it redone so it looks like his parents basement, you know.

[E]

Oh sure, yeah, yeah.

[C]

I play video games all the time. I'm terrible at them. I waste time. Doesn't help me at all, but I love it. This guy, he's gonna get paid doing something he loves. That's pretty cool.

[E]

It's great.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But he won't be able to do a lot of the fundamental stuff that is like. Well, we have a story coming up about all the kids who can't tell time.

[D]

Oh yeah, yes.

[B]

I'm not kidding. That's a serious thing going on right now in New York City. They, they're, well, they're all filthy in.

[A]

New York City is what I've heard.

[B]

Yeah, I remember that.

[D]

Where do you see, where do you see analog clocks anymore? Except for you, right behind me. Me, that's.

[B]

I'm a big fan.

[D]

I know you are.

[A]

No, no, no, no no no no. If you would put it like that, that would be good but you can't and Won't and look down and criticize. Digital clock.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, I, I do. I've gotten had to use. Like, we're here right now. I'm. Look, I understand. My entire life goes in our hours based on this show, so I know, like, we got a break coming up here in a couple minutes and I gotta.

[D]

So when you go home, do you do the same thing? I can't.

[A]

He. I have no doubt he talks exactly the way he does here.

[C]

Honey, it was kind of rude that you did a Java house ad halfway through, but it was a life read.

[A]

Right. After I go check in with the kids and I see their homework, we'll come back and have dinner, all right?

[B]

Oh, I'd like to do a teaser about dinner.

[D]

I.

[B]

We got some broccoli coming.

[A]

By the way, that fourth dishwasher still broken? I'm not sure what's going to have done that, but we'll be right back.

[B]

But I, I, I like wearing a regular watch. I, I don't like a digital watch.

[A]

You know, and if you like wearing a regular watch, could you keep it to yourself at any point?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't say anything about it.

[A]

I mean, you just did.

[B]

Well, in this context, it was brought up. I. Do you wear a watch, Josh?

[E]

I don't.

[B]

Do you, do you have an analog clock at your home?

[E]

I, I do, yes.

[B]

Is your alarm clock analog?

[A]

I'm sitting.

[E]

No, it's my phone.

[A]

I'm feeling bad now because one of my things is that I like. I like really giant wall clocks.

[E]

I do too.

[A]

Mine, I have a, I have one of those clocks, but it, it's in wood, but it's four feet across. And that's my favorite thing.

[D]

Me too.

[A]

It's hanging on the wall. It's not digital. A little battery in the back.

[B]

At my old house, I had an analog clock in my shirt.

[D]

Shower.

[B]

It was Willie's shower.

[A]

Whoa. Quit bragging.

[B]

Yeah, but I, I don't anymore.

[E]

No, no. Does anybody own a grandfather clock?

[D]

I do.

[E]

Is it loud?

[D]

Yes. Right outside our bedroom door.

[C]

Does it do like the check in every hour like a church?

[D]

Yes. And, and on the 15, so every quarter hour. It makes it.

[A]

So you've. How long have you been in this house?

[D]

We move in in April, so.

[A]

Okay, so you got what, like 20 minutes sleep?

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

Why don't just have a baby?

[B]

No, no, no. You need to. Do you need to get a grandmother clock? Yeah, it's the same thing, but no dong.

[E]

Because grandmother.

[C]

I like that. I'm mad at you right now. So I didn't laugh. But I do like that you kind.

[D]

Of get used to it, actually. And it's kind of nice because if you're not around a clock and it, you know at the top of the hour when it counts its little bells, you know what time it is? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I count.

[A]

Spoken like a woman who's being driven insane by a grandfather class. I know when it's an hour and a quarter and a half hour and.

[E]

Oh, it's counting its little bells.

[D]

I know you hate grandfather clocks.

[B]

I do.

[D]

They're forever. I love it.

[B]

Do you wear a watch?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Is it a digital or regular?

[D]

It's. It's an apple watch, but I keep it on the analog.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

The face. I've tried to wear a watch a thousand times.

[E]

Yeah, man.

[A]

Never been able to do it.

[D]

I can't go without that one.

[B]

If I don't have one on, I feel weird.

[C]

Yeah, I love them. I like one.

[A]

Got my phone. Look at my phone.

[D]

Is yours analog or digital?

[C]

I have the digital, but I have the analog face.

[D]

Right.

[B]

Like, yeah, okay. But in any event, coming up, a story about New York City children. Can't tell time with an analog.

[E]

Also, people have been wondering if I've seen the new Anaconda movie. I saw it yesterday. I'll come back with my review.

[B]

Exciting.

[D]

Yeah. I was excited to find out because I asked you about.

[B]

That is just snake dad big.

[E]

The snakes on that is big.

[A]

Why does it sound so much worse coming from him?

[C]

I got the ch because he doesn't work.

[E]

Terrified me.

[B]

When we come back, if we can make it, we will be in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Just gotta get a hold of us. Call, text or email. Get all the contact information you [e-mail]. this is the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Thank O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee.

[D]

Hi, Chick.

[A]

She's at the Silac insurance news desk working over here. She is right. And she stuff down. Yeah, she sure is. I got 12 bucks says she's making dinner reservations. I like those shoes.

[B]

Those shoes are the best that you were looking at.

[E]

They're beautiful.

[A]

There's Pat Godwin. Hey, there's Willie Griswold, my man. There's Josh Arnold.

[E]

Hi.

[A]

I hate it. I hate When Josh makes a comment, a comment about me, and he's dead on.

[E]

What did I do?

[A]

Well, the comedy thing.

[E]

We were on break, but we all kind of share that.

[A]

I think it's like.

[D]

I think we've been around it so much.

[A]

I think it's like a baker who makes cakes all his life. If I have another cake, I'm gonna.

[C]

Go scream, oh, you took an edible, and then it didn't kick in. And then you took two, and then. Whoa, Crazy. I see that one more time.

[A]

There's Ace Cosby still with the beard. Ladies, I'm Chick McGee and hello, Tom.

[B]

I don't know about the beard.

[C]

I like that. What was that noise you made prior to saying that?

[B]

I'm just evaluating Chick's comment that the ladies are going to dig Ace with the beard. I'm not seeing.

[D]

Are they digging them?

[E]

Ladies love Ace. You're not lady.

[A]

I know.

[B]

That's. That's correct.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

And he almost went with lla. Ladies love A.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

LL Cool.

[E]

LL Cool A. LL Cool A. I love that.

[B]

So really lovely.

[E]

Did you ever talk to LL Cool J, Ace? No. Because you've talked to many, many other black people.

[A]

Okay, I don't care. That's comedy. Yeah, I like that.

[B]

I feel the same way.

[E]

Because it.

[C]

Makes me laugh so much.

[E]

Well, speaking of LL Cool J, he was a hip hop performer, like Ice Cube.

[C]

Yes, yes.

[A]

There you go.

[F]

You know that.

[E]

You guys know that anaconda from 1997 or whatever is one of my favorite movies.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

And who know which who's in Anaconda?

[E]

Oh, it's a stacked cast, my friend. You got JLo, you got Owen Wilson, Eric Stoltz, John Voight, Ice Cube.

[A]

John Vo.

[C]

Yeah, he's doing some crazy accent.

[A]

John voice.

[E]

He's chewing the scenery more than the snake.

[C]

What a weird man.

[D]

97 1.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay, the original, and I'm sorry, this.

[A]

Might not be popular, but aren't we about done with Jack Black?

[C]

Oh, you.

[E]

I'm not.

[A]

Can't we take a breath?

[C]

Never.

[E]

Never. I get what you. What you're saying, but I'm not.

[A]

Well, you're the school of rock.

[C]

There was a video on the promotional tour where it's him and Paul Rudd being interviewed. Haven't seen the movie. Watched every bit of press for it. Yeah, and him and B R, they're thinking of a Nickelback song, and he can't remember it. Interviewer asked another question, and then it just cuts back to Jack. He just sings Nickelback and gets all the words wrong.

[E]

This Is how you.

[C]

Yeah, I watched it three times, ear to ear the whole time. He's a joy machine, that man.

[B]

He's also a terrific actor. What's that movie where he plays the coroner?

[E]

Whatever.

[C]

I think is Polka King, maybe the Bob Roberts movie when he was a kid. He's great in that. I just love him.

[E]

I do, too.

[D]

So this current version.

[B]

Okay, who's in the current version of Anaconda? Is this Anaconda 3 or just telling.

[E]

Well, there were from the original franchise. There were about five of them. Only. Only Anaconda, Hunt for the Blood or Orchid went to theaters. The rest were all like sci fi originals, that kind of thing. All right, well, they decided, apparently Sony took pitches from like 50 or 60 different writing teams on a new Anaconda. And these guys went in with, hey, we want to make a comedy where these best friends decide they're going to remake Anaconda and then they encounter a real anaconda in the wilds. And Sony said, we're doing it. So they got Jack Black, Paul Rudd, Steve Zahn, the adorable Tandy Newton, who's just wonderful. And they did it. And I saw the critics are. It's got like a 46 on Rotten Tomatoes. They're saying it's not very funny and not very scary and all this stuff. And they're right. But I smiled the whole time. Yeah, I really enjoyed myself.

[D]

Oh, good.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

And the famous line in the first.

[E]

One is ice cube. They unfurl a snakeskin that's like a sleeping bag, and I ice cube exclaims. It stakes out there. It's big. And it's one of my favorite lines of all time.

[B]

Now, does that line recur in this?

[D]

I was going to ask.

[E]

I don't want to spoil anything.

[C]

Oh, okay, cool. I'll check it out.

[E]

Yeah, yeah, it's fun. It's fun. So. And I did laugh out loud. Good. Eight times. So I got my money's worth.

[B]

How big do the anacondas get?

[E]

I mean, massive.

[F]

Massive.

[E]

Like those hoppers that hang off of New York City apartment buildings.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

Right, right. Yeah. Well described. Yes, that's exactly right.

[B]

Those are called hoppers.

[E]

Yeah. Those shoots that you threw. Yeah, Yeah.

[B]

I didn't know those were called hoppers.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, it made you realize what he was talking about, right? Yeah.

[B]

No, no, that's great, though. That's a new word for me, the hopper.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

How odd.

[B]

I thought a hopper was that thing on game shows.

[A]

I think that spins.

[B]

It has little spins.

[E]

That is also A hopper?

[A]

Yeah, I think the tube goes down to the hopper. Hopper. Maybe we're not going to spend an hour talking about.

[B]

Yeah, okay.

[E]

It's a fun one.

[B]

Okay, good.

[E]

Some good cameos too.

[B]

All right, back to sports.

[A]

That does mean back to sports. Oh, that's my. That's what? Stupid world record. Listen to this.

[B]

I hate this one.

[A]

A Bulgarian school.

[C]

Thanks for giving it a shot. Should we just skip it or what do you think?

[E]

Say not one word.

[B]

Even said.

[C]

I hate this one.

[B]

This is really dumb.

[A]

Wow. I don't think this has ever happened.

[E]

How do do you agree with Tom?

[C]

Oh yeah. We're just playing stupid world records. Of course it's dumb.

[A]

Yeah. This Bulgarian school has achieved Guinness world record for the longest gratitude and manifestation event.

[E]

Oh, I love this stuff. No, I. Now I know why you don't like it.

[B]

Gratitude and manifestation event.

[A]

Happy Life. Kidding me. They earned the title after hosting a live transformational broadcast for 25 hours.

[B]

What's it called again?

[A]

Happy Life Academy.

[B]

All right.

[D]

There.

[B]

The Happy Life account. What is this for four year olds?

[A]

The event.

[D]

You could use a little happy.

[B]

I'm doing just fine.

[C]

He's got four dishwashers.

[B]

I did go to.

[C]

I, I, I. Yeah, but he's pissed off about it because one doesn't work.

[B]

No, I literally went to four dishwashers.

[A]

Making all the decisions.

[B]

Happy Day Nursery School. Happy Day Academy.

[A]

The event focused on gratitude practices, guided reflection and manife station oriented. Such crap educational sessions.

[E]

I wish it was the Happy Days Nursery School and it was just tiny fonces.

[C]

They all have leather jackets on. I, I thought you were gonna say other characters. I think they're just the fonts. I just want 20 kids and leather jackets. Gosh, that'd be funny. Hey, you gotta do that. Let's get some kids leather jackets, put them in a room, see what happens.

[B]

So some adjudicator had to sit through this?

[E]

His religion has nothing to do.

[B]

Watch out. Some adjudicator sits through this thing for 24 hours of happy gratitude. I bet he was really a lot of gratitude when it was over. Thank you.

[E]

You don't practice gratitude, you know, you don't have like, you have your gratitude a day mantra.

[D]

You don't have your gratitude.

[C]

I'm so grateful that three out of my four dishwashers work. You don't say that to yourself in the morning.

[B]

No, because I'm pissed that the one doesn't work in the pantry.

[D]

See, you should look at it the other way.

[E]

The school might be for you.

[D]

Yes, it's just as easy to take. Talk yourself into positive thoughts as it is.

[A]

God, shut up.

[E]

Do you practice gratitude because you're kind of. You're a mindful, as they say.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, I get into a.

[B]

Groove and you forget about. You come back to it, you know?

[D]

I do every night. Yes, I do my gratitudes every night.

[A]

How about that?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

What do you do? How do you do that?

[D]

Prayers. I mean, you know, you have a candle or something. No, I don't have a candle.

[B]

You take your clothes off, get in the lotus position, slow down.

[E]

I do my attitude every night. I get from the mirror and go.

[A]

Oh, no, you didn't.

[C]

That is sassy.

[E]

He's my man.

[D]

Yeah, I like you sassy.

[A]

He is my man.

[B]

You get in front of a full length mirror, do the vag where you pull it, tuck it in and go, if only I were a lady.

[E]

I haven't done that in a while.

[B]

Grab your boobs and go juggle them.

[E]

And it wasn't if only I were a lady. It was, let's just see. Sorry.

[C]

That was very funny, but I was a little stuck up on grab your boobs and go juggle them.

[D]

Yes, that's what he said.

[C]

Were you aiming for jiggle and you went with juggle. What happened there?

[B]

No, no, you juggle them, remember? Did you know the George of the Jungle thing?

[E]

You don't?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh, Christy, would you please explain this?

[D]

George of the Jungle was a cartoon that we grew up with.

[C]

Familiar with that?

[D]

Yeah, yeah. And the song. Yes, he thinks that's the perfect song to.

[B]

No, this is. I don't. I didn't invent this.

[D]

And we did have some lady come. Didn't she come in here or. She sent us an email and said that she come in. I don't think she came in. She sent us an email and talked about it.

[B]

It's a. Yeah. A naked lady sings the George of.

[D]

The Jungle theme and it gets her come online.

[B]

Well, extraordinarily naked and. And is. Is rotating, if you will, or lifting. It's kind of like the 6, 7. Like the 6, 7. Motion.

[A]

Extraordinary.

[C]

Oh, that was so funny. We were hanging on veil and someone goes, yeah, what is 67? He goes, it's some crazy thing. Kids say it, then they pretend to juggle.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

George, George, George of the Jungle. Watch out for that tree. Hit that tree.

[B]

It's the tree.

[A]

It's great.

[C]

He hits the tree.

[A]

See, that's my big gray peanut loving doggy.

[E]

You probably grew up with the Brendan Frasier Film.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Big fan of that, man. Big fan of that.

[B]

Yeah, he's great. But it's kind of a naked thing where the lady pumps him up and down to the tune of George of the Jungle. Yeah, we learned that here in the Bob and Tom Show. Coming up, we have news in the world of horses. We have more rejected license plates, this time from the state of Indiana. A couple of them I don't get.

[D]

Oh, really?

[B]

I mean, obviously they rejected fart car.

[E]

Which is a real shame.

[A]

Fart car.

[C]

That would make so many people's day. If you're in traffic, you're having a bad one, you're sad, you look up fart car, you smile.

[A]

Fart car would look. Lift spirits. Yes, yes.

[B]

Okay, help me with this one. W, A, N, N, A. Wanna.

[A]

Yep.

[D]

Wanna mate?

[B]

M letter, M numeral 8.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Wanna mate?

[C]

Want to do it?

[D]

Want to do it? Wanna mate?

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

I can understand. Well, yeah, you're the one who only.

[D]

Yeah, you're the one that mates.

[B]

Yeah. But I mean, I love to make for production purposes. N o, H, O. 35.

[C]

No, H, O. No hoes.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

What's the 35 for stand for?

[D]

Well, sometimes you have an S. You have to kind of. People use numbers instead of letters.

[A]

No hoes.

[E]

Hey, listen, I saw you hoes looking at my car. Did you see the license plate? Back off.

[F]

What do you.

[A]

What is that guy thinking when he goes in and says, hey, can I get no hose for a license?

[C]

We used to kind of say that instead of like a sausage fest. And I'd be like, yeah, man, that party. No hoes. God, I was terrible. That was a real thing. Me and my friend.

[E]

You're a young boy, huge idiot. Yeah, we were all worse.

[C]

Still here.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

But is there a committee in each one of these states where they get together and look over the vanity plate request?

[C]

Yeah, they get their big ass bummers in town to get into a room.

[D]

Absolutely.

[C]

Hey, want people to have fun? How about no.

[E]

No hoes.

[B]

Well, coming up, we have a special edition of Sexy Time with Ali Breen. Look forward to that. Of course, we also have a guy arrested in Florida. Not gonna say too much about in advance, but it does involve falsies and weapons. For real, as they say. Right now, we're talking about cars a lot on the show. Earlier today, we were talking about the Excalibur line of cars that came out a while back.

[D]

Not practical.

[B]

Yeah. But kind of a collectible. This car is the best.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Christie is our Hyundai lady.

[D]

Oh, absolutely.

[B]

Something really Cool. Coming out from Hyundai, it's the Palisade Hybrid. A staggering stat on this range of up to 600 plus miles. Now, it's got a spacious interior, of course.

[D]

Yeah. You can get seven, I think eight. I don't know if it has a bench in the middle, but yeah, it's an amazing automobile. And with the hybrid function, it uses gas and an electric motor, electric battery, so you get great gas mileage. I mean, it's unbelievable.

[B]

And I think a lot of people were kind of afraid to go with an EV because of the range, but like I said, 600 plus miles on this baby because of course, it also takes regular gasoline.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

And Christy Lee's been behind the wheel and you're a fan.

[D]

Yeah. For the last two years, I've been a real big fan of my Hyundai. And I know you will be, too. Hyundai Palisade Hybrid. Check it out. It's so much more than your average suv. And Hyundai usa dot com.

[B]

They rejected my suggestion, which was when you start the car, it sings Palisade Park.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

It does not do running Palisade Park. And they said, no, that's a stupid idea. So I guess I will just have to try.

[D]

Will you give them the phone number, please?

[B]

Okay, sure. You can call Hyundai and say, I'd like one of your fine vehicles. And could you put the song Palisades park into the starter murder?

[D]

Don't do that.

[B]

It's Hyundai USA.com. or you can go 562-314-4603 for more detail. Details. It's Hyundai USA.com. find out about the great Palisade hybrid with that huge range of 600 plus miles. Coming up, a song from Pat Godwin. I swear we are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[D]

Hello.

[A]

She's at the Silac Insurance news desk. There's Pat Godwin.

[C]

Hey, chicken.

[B]

Need a song. We have a plan.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Did you tell her the thing? The. The which?

[A]

There's Willie Griswold. Hey, good morning, Josh Arnold.

[E]

Hello.

[A]

He's at the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby.

[E]

Hey, chick.

[A]

I'm Chick McGee. Hello. At the Price Pick sports desk. Hello, Tom.

[B]

Okay, Christina, your husband is big fan of iu. Indiana University.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

He's going to that game in Atlanta. Is it the Mercedes dome? What?

[D]

It leaves tomorrow morning bright and early when I leave for Work.

[B]

You and I both know a professional makeup artist. If. What if we could hire this art? I mean, I'd be happy to pay for this.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Would he do.

[D]

No.

[B]

His face in bright red two faced style, like right down the middle?

[D]

I don't think so.

[B]

He's not. Not a true fan then. Okay.

[D]

Oh, is that your definition?

[B]

Oh, if it comes to potential humiliation, yes.

[C]

You think that's fun and then when you drink beer, it tastes like face paint. It's never a good idea.

[D]

He's not a beer drinker, though. He doesn't.

[B]

Oh, then all the more reason to go for it.

[D]

Bourbon. Yes.

[B]

Can we spot him in the stands?

[D]

Oh, I'm sure he'll be wearing a red sweatshirt.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

And it probably says Indiana on it.

[B]

That was the problem with the Oklahoma game.

[C]

The Alabama game?

[D]

You mean the Alabama.

[B]

Excuse me? Yeah, sorry. The Alabama game.

[D]

Everybody was red and white.

[B]

Yeah, like who's who here?

[C]

Also, in the Big Ten, there's like what, seven teams that are red and white? Maryland, Rutgers, iu, Wisconsin, Ohio State.

[D]

It's going to be pretty interesting. Oregon obviously is a lot farther from Atlanta than Indiana is.

[E]

So, Christy, did your husband graduate from IU or is he just a fan?

[D]

No, he went there. He was a manager for the football team.

[A]

Well, the. Well, the Rose bowl with it. That was so. Such an IU crowd.

[D]

8020.

[A]

Yeah, at least.

[B]

Why was that?

[D]

I don't know.

[C]

Now when you say manager, your. Your husband was a manager for the football team. He brought the towels and the water to the place.

[D]

I don't know what. What he did, all right?

[B]

He was a senior in college.

[D]

No, would you stop?

[A]

Just answer the question, man.

[D]

I do Hoosier.

[A]

Odd. Oddly uncomfortable. But I do love it when Christy gets mad at Pat.

[D]

And then my bonus son. His son went to IU and graduated from IU as well, so.

[C]

Oh, Hoosiers.

[B]

It'll be fun. We'll see what happens. Now Pat's itching to play a song. He told you. What's that's related to. To do a story. Okay.

[D]

He sure did. And this was the story. Authorities in Florida have arrested a man smartly.

[A]

Once again, smartly. Done. Team people don't even know we're doing this.

[D]

After finding him on a construction site wearing lingerie.

[B]

Where I start over. I'm lost.

[D]

A Florida man arrested after being found on his construction site wearing lingerie with a firearm concealed inside a silicon breast implant.

[E]

Oh, we.

[D]

According to the Polk County Sheriff's Office, 39 year old Matthew Zakari Zakarnio was seen putting on a red lace bra in G string as deputies approached him. When deputies ordered him to stop, the man removed the items instead, revealing a handgun hidden behind one of the silicon breast inserts that he'd been holding.

[C]

Keep your eyes up here. You pull it out.

[D]

Following his arrest, the man reportedly claimed that he was on his way to a costume party.

[B]

Whoa.

[D]

Okay. He now faces multiple charges, as you can imagine.

[E]

Very strange.

[D]

Really strange.

[B]

That's not a.38. This is a.38 double D. All right, tootsie, put your hands up.

[D]

What? What the hell is going on here?

[B]

That is weird.

[C]

What, a guy can't have a fun.

[D]

Oh, there he is.

[C]

Can't have a good time? Put a bra and bring a gun around? That's.

[E]

Take a look at that guy.

[B]

Now. I wonder. This is a dumb question, but I.

[A]

How pretty?

[B]

I know they make all kinds of holsters.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

You know, for.

[D]

They have a bra holster.

[B]

That was my question.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Do they really?

[D]

It'd be for a little gun, though.

[B]

So does it go right there by the boob or is it on the side?

[D]

I don't know. I don't have one.

[E]

I mean, the gun's weird looking. It almost looks like a 3D printed type.

[C]

It does looks like a taser almost.

[E]

I. I like the lock of wig. We can see in the left corner.

[B]

Wow, that is really.

[D]

Bless his heart.

[B]

Was he planning some kind of a crime or was he just.

[E]

I'd be nervous, nervous around him. I wouldn't trust myself.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Maybe they should have. Now the mug shot that we have, he's not wearing the wig or anything anymore.

[E]

Right.

[B]

What is the protocol on that?

[C]

Yeah, you take the wig off before the mug shot.

[E]

I'm actually going to take both.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, they should.

[B]

And then is there any police department.

[C]

When they go, okay, face me now turn to the side. And now let's do a fun one. You know, they put a little bunny ears behind.

[D]

There are a couple different.

[B]

Hilarious.

[D]

Couple different bra holsters, if you will. One goes in the center and one does go on the side.

[C]

Gosh, that is so.

[E]

I know that.

[C]

I'm a boob guy and you guys know that, and I don't know why. That's the hottest thing I've ever heard of. A gun right between the boobs.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Oh, you like it?

[C]

I love it. So let's see.

[B]

Let me see this.

[A]

Oh, boy.

[D]

I don't know if you can see that.

[C]

Tom from I hate the things I'm gonna Google. After today's show, that's bad for me.

[E]

Angela, White gun for those in the know.

[B]

Is that some famous porno girl?

[C]

And Josh nailed it, by the way. I mean, just right up my alley. Oh, heavy natural boobs and foreign dark hair. Get out of here.

[D]

Can you see that? Better get out of here.

[C]

Take my money.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

How weird.

[A]

Cool.

[B]

Why would a guy be in a construction site? Is he gonna shoot some construction worker that does a cat call? Hey, gorgeous. Nice ass.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Boom.

[C]

Doesn't he work at the construction site?

[B]

It said.

[D]

It didn't say that. Well, finding him on a construction site, I don't know if he worked there.

[C]

You wrap up work, you know, you're with your pals, you're at the site, you're probably drinking a little bit, you.

[A]

Got a party to go.

[B]

Go to.

[A]

You have to.

[C]

You have your gun with you.

[B]

Who's having a costume party now?

[D]

I know.

[C]

You know what?

[A]

Fair.

[D]

It's Florida.

[B]

Okay, well, you don't have to wait.

[A]

For Halloween to have a costume party.

[E]

Oh, Pat, do you have a song for Clay often?

[A]

That's right. That guy dressed up like the FTD florist guy was amazing.

[C]

You ready?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I am a boo guy, too, Willie. And a different kind of ladies, man, Everybody. Every night a different late day Every night it's a different chick Every night and the morning, baby who is it tonight, Baby, take your pick. Every night a different woman I'm having me such a mighty good time Friends wonder what the hell I'm doing I tell them variety is the spice of life so many girls I forget One night's a blonde, the next a brunette I put on a wig I cinch my dress real tight and I'm a different lady here and now Every night I'm a different lady. Thank you very much.

[B]

And Pat, you don't even have to change your name.

[C]

I don't?

[B]

How convenient.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, thank you very much, Pat. We return to the news desk with Christy Lee.

[D]

What else is happening in Louisiana? A woman has been arrested for swimming nude in her neighbor's pond. Says she was attempting to be a mermaid.

[B]

Of course she was.

[D]

KTV reports that the Union Parish Sheriff's deputies were responded to a residence in Marion where a naked woman was found swimming in a pond on the property. The 41 year old initially refused to leave the pond, allegedly stating she was, quote, trying to be a mermaid.

[B]

That's the first sign that she's a lunatic.

[C]

I do love someone saying that like it's a totally reasonable thing to say. Like, excuse me. I'm so sorry, you guys. I was just trying to be a mermaid.

[E]

You understand.

[D]

Yeah. She did eventually get out of the Pond. Pond. And was arrested on multiple charges.

[B]

So when she gets out, then that's when they know she's naked.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, do they blanket her? Oh, that's what they do.

[E]

Probably.

[A]

Of course, one of those silver blankets or whatever.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Here, come on.

[D]

Maybe her clothes were laying nearby.

[A]

Let's go to the ambulance. Goofy. Come on. There we go.

[E]

Right this way, Ariel.

[A]

A whole new world. Yeah.

[F]

There we go.

[B]

I guess you grew your legs back, huh? Okay.

[D]

A man in China has been fired for taking frequent and uncessively long bathroom breaks.

[A]

Well, now, wait a minute. What. What is considered frequent?

[D]

Well, a man sued his former company for illegal termination, claiming he suffered from hemorrhoids.

[B]

Oh.

[D]

The company, however, submitted surveillance footage showing the frequency and duration of the man's trips to the bank bathroom. In one month, he reportedly took 14 toilet breaks, with the longest lasting four hours.

[E]

Well, that's why he has hemorrhoids.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which came first, though? Him. Getting him. What? Yeah.

[E]

What does come first?

[D]

Four hours?

[E]

The piles.

[B]

Well, I. I know why.

[D]

Why?

[B]

I don't. In Mandarin Chinese, there's like 50, 000 different symbols.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So doing wordle as a I.

[A]

So.

[E]

Yeah, he's got.

[B]

You really got to think before you knew it was going to be a wordle. Four hours. Come on.

[D]

Yeah. Somebody doesn't want to work.

[B]

It sounds like.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

And if you're pushing for four hours, you're going to have the roids, as you suggest.

[C]

Man, 14 hours or 14 breaks in a month, though. Doesn't seem unreasonable.

[D]

Not at all.

[E]

Oh, it wasn't per day.

[D]

No, it said a month.

[C]

Oh, that's.

[E]

It's just how long they are.

[C]

That's like every other day or whatever.

[E]

Right. Well, maybe in China, though. I don't know.

[B]

Someone's gonna make these phones. Come on. Okay.

[E]

You know, he's. He's not wrong, but he's wrong in.

[D]

The way he says.

[C]

No, he's not.

[E]

He's not factually incorrect. No, but he's wrong.

[B]

Okay. I teased the bmv, the Bureau of.

[E]

Motor Vehicles, which most places is called the Department of motor Vehicles.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. Not here.

[E]

I'm against it. It's dmv because it messes up comedy bits.

[C]

It does. You have to pick one.

[E]

I know. It's 70.

[B]

You know, the same thing with, like, DNR for Department of Natural Resources. Some states do some alternate version.

[E]

They Do. I don't care.

[B]

I think the states rights thing's gone too far. I want one uniform code for the entire country.

[C]

Yeah, I'm fine with that.

[B]

And I want everyone to work the same clothes.

[D]

I'm shocked that in this story from the state of Indiana, among 700 requests that they denied for personalized license plate.

[E]

Oh, 700.

[B]

Yeah, read a couple of them. The first one's obvious.

[E]

Yeah, I mean, that should be. That should be. They should say no to that. Just based on. That's over.

[B]

Seven. How many six, seven plays got through before that became a thing?

[A]

You can get anything on a license plate frame though, right? And put that on your car.

[F]

Or is that.

[E]

Yeah, probably.

[A]

I think so. That'd be.

[E]

We've all seen. Really offensive.

[B]

Yeah, well, it depends if you live in a state that requires a license plate up front. Some don't.

[D]

Well, no, no, he's talking about the frame that goes around.

[B]

Oh, that thing. Oh, okay. Sure.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Poopy was one that was said, nope, can't do that, Poopy.

[C]

I mean, I am a child, but yeah, when I heard it, I did giggle a little bit.

[D]

Right. Okay. I'm okay. This one is B, O O B1, 3S.

[B]

The.

[C]

The calculator in school. It's 8008135 and you turn it upside down says, boobies. What a great time that is.

[E]

How about.

[B]

How about this one? This was turned up. T, N, Y, space, P, E, E.

[D]

Who wants to advertise that?

[E]

Or maybe poor Tony Peen couldn't get his vanity plate.

[C]

It's a hard life.

[B]

It's probably on a Corvette or some kind of like that.

[F]

Right?

[C]

Making a joke.

[D]

This one's kind of interesting. F, A F O space, 2am that is.

[E]

I don't get it.

[C]

F around and find out.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

What?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. That's a popular one, I think.

[A]

The Olympics gymnastics team, that was their down low.

[D]

Oh, really?

[A]

Motto. Yeah. The last time they won gold, it was f around and find out.

[B]

Yeah, what does it mean? Well, we'll explain.

[A]

What do you mean, what's it mean? So go ahead, keep messing around. Yeah, go ahead. I'll smack you in the face before you know it.

[D]

F around. You know what the F stands for?

[E]

If I said, hey, it bothers me when you kick me in the shins and you go, I'm gonna keep kicking you in the shins, you know, F around and find out. See what happens if you.

[A]

Okay, Nice.

[B]

Okay, what's the 2am for that?

[E]

I don't know.

[C]

That is kind of odd. Like I'll come beat you up at 2am kind of thing. So the bar is closed.

[A]

I think it's nice to make an appointment. I mean, sure, sure.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

How about this one? Btt. Oh, I just got it. Never mind.

[E]

Oh, you do not say it.

[D]

It's btt. Stff.

[E]

Btt. Oh, butt stuff.

[B]

Yeah, it's butt stuff. I didn't.

[A]

Hilarious right away.

[D]

What about P Town?

[C]

Did you say PND or bnd?

[B]

Oh, pound town.

[D]

I was rejected.

[C]

I thought it was like penis and D town. I'm gonna send you to both. It's too much penis.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Too crazy.

[B]

Yeah. T much peen. They also got.

[D]

Why is snow420 bad drug reference.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, but the snow doesn't make. It's probably anything. I assume they probably have a blanket. No. 420 probably. I'm guessing. So who knows.

[D]

But this one's kind of funny. A 55 space.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

One. Tch.

[E]

Ass itch.

[D]

I think that's kind of funny. Yeah.

[B]

But hey, it's a nice. Really got a nice car there, Dave. And your plate says Ass Itch.

[E]

Yeah. I'm president of Dude White.

[D]

That would not make you giggle if you saw that.

[B]

I can't imagine some young lady going, well, I've met this new guy. He's really great.

[D]

Maybe he's married and his wife's got a good sense of humor.

[B]

You don't know his nickname is ass itch.

[E]

Vanity plate can. Can really tell a father a lot about the boy picking up their daughter.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Ass itch is here. Looks like we're going to that movie, honey. And sitting three rows behind. Yeah.

[B]

Last week it was butt Captain.

[A]

Ahoy.

[B]

There seems to be a theme here. No wonder Susie can't focus. It's cool. Coming up, a special edition of Sexy Time.

[A]

Why can't Susie Focus special edition of.

[B]

Sexy Time with Ali Breen. We always look forward to talking with Ali right now. Stephen Singer, willing to say special thanks. Thanks to Stephen for helping us out all football season with those great e gift cards. Thanks again. Steven. Steven Singer Jewelers. He's the guy. The. I hate Steven Singer guy. He's got a bunch of stuff going on, including of course, something new for Valentine's Day. He's already got it up and running. Every year he takes those great roses, dips them in real gold and gives them a special name. There's always a different kind of color coordinated thing that they do this year. A really good one. I really like this idea. It's kind of A sunset feel. It's called the brand new. It's Stephen Singer's brand new Sunset 24 Karat Gold dipped rose. Get that, that feeling of love while you're at a at on the beach. The sun is setting kind of orange into pink.

[D]

It's kind of an ombre thing. It's really pretty.

[B]

Visit it and visit it. Visit Stephen Singer and see what's going on. Check out the whole inventory by going to I Hate Stephen Sing. Every year he does it. This is a new one, Steven's famous gold dip roses. They're real roses dipped in pure 24 karat gold guaranteed to last a lifetime. And Steven Singer can make your Valentine's Day shopping very simple because it's a click away. It's just a click away as the Rolling Stones used to say. I hate stevensinger.com. fast and free shipping. And of course, the famous Stephen Singer. Gary guarantee you can always, you can also always upgrade that jewelry if you got something, maybe you got some nice earrings last year, you want to make them even bigger, you can do that and get your full value. Read all the details, find out all about it by visiting our friend Stephen at I hate Stephen Singer dot com. Coming up, we have, as I mentioned, a little bit of history for you and a little bit of Ali Breen and a little bit of comedian Al Jackson and we got horses on the loose. We'll find out where. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning even though we're not too much to look at. You can also watch the show on our YouTube channel.

[B]

Up next week.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Thank O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Auto Parts. At the Silac Insurance news desk, it's Christy Lee.

[D]

Hello.

[A]

There's Pat Godwin.

[C]

Hey, Chick.

[A]

There's Willie Griswold.

[B]

Hey, man.

[A]

There's Josh Arnold.

[E]

Hello.

[A]

Ace Cosby.

[E]

Hello.

[A]

And I'm Chick McGee at the Prize pick sports desk. Hello, Tom.

[B]

Hello, Chick McGee. We should probably squeeze in some history.

[D]

Oh, yeah, we probably should, but.

[B]

Okay. I haven't looked at this. Let's see what's going on today. Oh, this is cool. Cool. It's Elvis's birthday. Oh, wow. ELVIS. Born in 1935. So would he be 91?

[D]

Gosh.

[B]

And if you were shaking his hips These days they'd be artificial hips, that's for sure.

[A]

Yes, they certainly would be.

[B]

What was the Quantity of poop? 39.

[A]

I heard 16 pounds.

[B]

16?

[A]

I was going to say 16, but I thought that sounded.

[E]

What do you get?

[B]

A dead guy next to the toilet pushing too hard.

[A]

The seeds. Okay.

[B]

Do you suppose they have that, the bathroom at the Graceland kind of cordoned off or. They do have off.

[D]

Oh, you've been there, haven't you?

[C]

Yeah, I've been there twice.

[B]

Did you go upstairs? You're not allowed upstairs.

[C]

Yeah, people would take insensitive pictures. Yeah, they make jokes, too. You walk by, oh, smells like someone died in there. Because someone did die in the gallery. Okay, good.

[B]

Stephen Hawking. Happy birthday. Born in 1942, didn't he? Isn't he showing up in all the Epstein stuff now? Yeah, yeah.

[E]

He liked the ladies and I'm not saying that he did anything wrong in that. I have no idea. But he liked the ladies and he.

[D]

Was not afraid to talk about that.

[E]

Right?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Wasn't he, like, cheating on his wife? Yeah, but the guy can barely move. And, I mean, that's a.

[A]

Or can he?

[C]

Look, I'm human.

[D]

He was moving something because.

[A]

Hey, baby, how about it?

[D]

Maybe he had a special device on that wheelchair that you could sit on or something.

[A]

Hubba hubba.

[C]

Oh, yeah. He's a genius.

[E]

Go go Gadget.

[B]

And you didn't want to do Today in History.

[E]

I never said I.

[B]

One of my favorite, favorite human beings. Robbie Krieger from the Doors. Born in the state in 1946.

[A]

I really admire him. He hasn't said anything about being in the Doors for a long time.

[C]

He's going to talk about the guitar lick from the song Love Me Two times.

[A]

Yeah. Am I right? Lonnie Mack. We all know Lonnie Mack.

[B]

Lonnie Mac. It's the first time Lonnie ever picked up a bass.

[A]

It's amazing.

[B]

Scary good.

[A]

Josh.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

His nickname is Freddy Krieger.

[A]

That's how.

[B]

Yes, that's how scary he is. I don't know. He's got. Actually, he has a great book about the Doors. It's a really good one. Now, David Bowie, born in 1947.

[C]

He's a weird guy.

[B]

Yeah, he's an odd guy.

[A]

He is a odd guy.

[E]

He is. And I. I love. Huge fan.

[B]

Yeah, we.

[E]

Him as a person.

[B]

We had an opportunity to speak with him. It was really fun.

[A]

I'm sorry, I Forgot.

[B]

Who's this Mr. David Bowie. We talked to him and. Well, good friend of the show. Peter Frampton. We'll. We'll go credit.

[A]

You know what?

[B]

I was helping to rescue his career.

[A]

I. I read the. The older I get, honestly, the more I like David boy. And I never thought that would happen with anybody. You know what I'm trying to say? Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Why are all rockstars nerds? He sings about space. Robert Plant sings about Lord of the Rings.

[E]

Yeah, they're all nerds. A lot of nerd stuff.

[C]

Yeah, it's weird boy.

[B]

Real fashionista, real art guy.

[D]

I loved him.

[B]

And did you meet him?

[D]

Suffragette City, One of my favorite songs.

[B]

My brother worked with him for time.

[G]

A long.

[C]

A little bit there. Did have some puppets for him. Oh, that's cool, guys.

[A]

You mean like Muppets?

[C]

He did them in a couple videos.

[B]

Yeah, we were talking to. Boy, one of the cool. You know that song, Walk in the Wild side? That Lou Reed tune at the end? There's that really cool sax, that saxophone thing. That was. That album was produced by Mick Ronson and David Bowie. And that was Bowie's, like, music teacher from high school or something. And when the guy came into the session, he didn't recognize him because Bowie had the weirdo hair with the weirdo hair, the red mullet. And he didn't know.

[E]

Different last name.

[B]

He didn't know it was Dave Jones from back in school. But yeah, Peter Frampton. We'll talk. We'll talk about how that he was kind of at a lull in his career and Bowie hired him to be his guitarist when he went out.

[D]

Peter's dad had some condition when he.

[B]

Went out on tour. Yeah. Peter's dad was the art teacher.

[D]

Right.

[B]

That. Both those guys. They've been. Anyway, sad. Try. Let's see now. Oh, this is the lady from. Born in 1987. The Wicked Lady, Cynthia.

[C]

Man, she can sing, can't she?

[A]

She's got a. She's got a Motown album out. That's really.

[D]

Oh, I bet that is.

[E]

Pipes.

[A]

I. I don't care for the songs from Wicked, but those. I. I like those.

[B]

She's Lou Ferrigno's sister. You've ever.

[A]

She's in the movie Bad Day because she's green.

[B]

She's green. I've seen her.

[C]

I didn't get.

[B]

I did not get.

[D]

Josh, if you just said Mark Ruffalo or whatever, wasn't he the Hulk?

[B]

Bad Day.

[A]

Bad Day at the Royale.

[E]

I like that flip.

[A]

Yeah, she's in that. It's really. That's cool to watch.

[E]

Yeah, it is worth a watch.

[B]

Let's see now in. Oh, here's a good one. In 1904, Pope Pius X. Not 12.

[A]

He was better than ever.

[B]

12. Pope Pius X banned low cut dresses in the presence of churchmen.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

You don't want to tempt them.

[B]

I see a lot of rabbis went, who? Now we get them.

[E]

Now we get those skirts.

[A]

What'd they say?

[C]

It's a good joke for a holy man.

[A]

Holy man, Are you a holy man?

[B]

Thy Dan Are you holy man?

[A]

Don't do it without your fez on.

[B]

I love that song. 1993, Michael Jordan scored his 20,000th career point.

[D]

Ah.

[B]

Hey, pass the ball. Man.

[D]

He was good.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

What? What a selfish player.

[B]

No, this is the last one. I want, I want to see if Chick knows this. Huge news for the then Washington Redskins at the time in 2008. What happened on this date?

[C]

2008, he knows this. This broke his heart.

[A]

2008, they signed Jeff George.

[B]

No.

[E]

Oh, in the middle of January essentially fire Joe Gibbs.

[A]

Oh, they hired Joe back? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[B]

Joe retired in 2008 for the second.

[A]

So when did they. Well, that would break. Yes, I guess I would break my. I don't remember that date. I don't remember the date he came back, so.

[B]

And who would have thought he's gone on to an incredible second career.

[A]

Well, this is the universe telling me that I need to share with you that rumors are John Harbaugh could be the next head coach of the Washington Commanders.

[D]

Really?

[B]

How do you feel about that?

[A]

That'd be fine with me.

[E]

Is he going to accept the salary they offer him or is he going to play Harbaugh?

[B]

He tried that yesterday, Willie.

[C]

I'm such a fan of it.

[A]

You know what?

[E]

Better today.

[B]

Here's something.

[E]

Something. Hated it.

[A]

I'm so dumb.

[C]

For me, it was kind of a thinker. I mean it was right.

[A]

Here's the thing about me. Hated it yesterday. Love it.

[C]

I feel the same way.

[A]

Pretty good time, am I right, Pat?

[C]

It's like old spaghetti. It's better the next day. Sometimes you got to just lay your guard down and let love in your heart and just enjoy that joke. It's a good time, folks.

[B]

I, I, I have to agree, Pat.

[E]

Interesting.

[B]

It didn't work yesterday.

[A]

I don't care if I just. If he wants to play hardball, that's fine with me.

[B]

As long as He Somehow over 24 hours, it turned into kind of a dad joke.

[E]

Oh, it's every bit of dad joke.

[B]

Yeah. And somehow it gained a little bit of traction all Right now by discussing it like this, it's lost it all.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And all the fun is faded.

[C]

We beat it into the ground, didn't we?

[B]

This chapter of the Bob and Tom show is entitled all the Fun has Faded.

[D]

We're going to bring the fun back. Next break, though, without Jackson.

[B]

We're going to Jackson. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Want to share a letter or comment? Our email is Bob and Tom. Bob and tom.comales hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios at the SILAC Insurance news desk. It's Christy Lee.

[D]

Hello, Chick.

[A]

Hi. There's Pat Godwin.

[C]

Hey, Chick.

[B]

Hey.

[F]

Hey.

[A]

There's Willie Griswold.

[B]

Hey, man.

[A]

Hello. There's Josh Arnold.

[E]

Hi.

[A]

Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick mcgee at the prize pick sports desk. Hello, Tom.

[B]

Hello, Chick. McGee. Good to see you.

[D]

Sir.

[A]

Yes, sir.

[B]

Your picks for the NFL are posted, is that correct?

[A]

On Instagram.

[B]

Okay. Now we also have.

[A]

I could run it down real quick if you'd like. Yeah.

[B]

I'd like you to. Yes. As a matter of.

[E]

Well, we're joined by a guest.

[F]

I didn't know to hear the picks, too, but thank you, Josh, for, for advocating on my behalf.

[D]

Of course.

[F]

Yes. Thank you.

[A]

Chicago, I like them. And to pick them against Green Bay.

[F]

Yeah, absolutely.

[A]

Carolina plus the 10 versus the Rams.

[F]

Sure.

[C]

Huge.

[F]

Absolutely.

[A]

That's a big number. Sunday, three games, Philly minus the three versus San Francisco. I think Jaylen Carter's. I think Jalen Carter is going to wear Brock pie for a hat a couple times. You wait and see.

[F]

I think that's a fair.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

If they can't block him, the game's over. You'll be able to tell in the first two series.

[A]

Yep. Chargers plus three versus New England. Who had the Pat. Patriots hadn't played anybody all season. Think about that.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

All right.

[A]

No, they haven't. They're not winning record stuff like that.

[F]

Chick. I agree. I feel like the Patriots, it just like you look at it and you're like, I get it. Like when you go to an art exhibit and it's supposed to be this really deep thing and you're just like, I get it. But I just don't see it. It's not for me. That's how I'm with the Patriots this year. I just, just don't think. I don't think they're ready yet. I see all the pieces. They got the quarterback. Nice running back But I don't think they're ready yet. Great coach.

[A]

And I picked these guys for the super bowl like five weeks ago, and everything changed. I like Jacksonville over Buffalo. The Jaguars, a home underdog, getting two. I think they're going to blow the Bills out.

[D]

Really?

[A]

I really do. The Bills don't have much of a defense. I don't. The Bills don't have much of a defense.

[B]

Last time a bill got blown out like that, it was Monica Lewinsky.

[E]

That's exactly right.

[F]

You could update that with Belichick.

[A]

We can't. We can't have an adult conversation.

[D]

No, we can't.

[A]

We just can't. And Monday night, Houston, minus the three at Pittsburgh. Oh, it's going to be a long, long, long, long night for aa. Aa, Aaron Rodgers and the Pittsburgh Steelers.

[B]

But I want. I want AA to keep going.

[C]

Come on.

[A]

I don't think so, brother.

[F]

I do not think that realistic.

[B]

I don't care. I don't. I don't like realistic. I like the. The older guy doing great.

[A]

Texans have probably the best defense in the league.

[B]

Okay. Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Well, no, Al, I like the look today. You've got. I like those glasses.

[A]

A turtleneck.

[B]

Turtleneck? Yeah.

[E]

You. You hiding a hickey.

[F]

You know what, Josh? It's even worse than this. And I was wondering. I was like, I don't even know an organic way to get into this conversation. And you got. You literally just brought it up, Tom. So here we go. Go. Am I the only one listen, like. Yes. Anybody in that studio or anybody listening that just puts on whatever clothes are right in front of him?

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

Like, I really don't lay out my clothes. It's just like I. I brush my teeth, I change my T shirt, and this was the shirt that was there, and I put it on. But I'll do that throughout the day. So I'll have three. I'm like a low budget JLo. Like, it's three costume changes, but they're not, like, big ones. I just put clothes on rather than hanging them up.

[B]

Is that a dickie or a. Is that a full turtleneck?

[F]

Oh, it's a turtleneck. What? I. You know, Tom, I got this. Don't make me get the blue one. I got this in a bunch of different colors you get when you and every guy in that room is wearing the exact same thing that I always see them wearing every time I've seen for the last. We all pick an outfit and we just wear it.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

And so this is my. I just get the same shirt in five colors, the same. This black shirt. I have it in gray. It looks just like the one Willie has on. Where all those same guy, you know.

[B]

Now I can't wear a turtleneck.

[E]

You don't care for them.

[D]

You don't like things around your neck.

[B]

No, I can't even wear a T shirt.

[F]

He's scared about not even up in Vail. I heard you were up in Vail. I did shows in Steamboat and I thought about you because I did shows at the top of the mountain, so it was at 10,000ft, and you sent me a bunch of pictures of. Of the kiddos skiing. Willie, your dad loves you. And he still sends me pictures of you. And I think it's a. It's a beautiful thing.

[A]

It's adorable.

[B]

You had more snow and Steamboat than we had and Vale.

[F]

I know that we had so much snow that, like, coming over the past. Like, I. I was in my girlfriend's Kia and there's that moment where you as a dude, like, you have your pride. But I was like, do I need to pull over and wait for, like, a real man in case I need to get, like, dragged out of the snow? It was really, really snowing. But it, it, it, like. I heard you didn't have the same problem in veil.

[B]

No, no, no. We. Well, the skiing was terrible, but at least the lines were long. You see, that's not a good thing. Lines now. But I do like your glasses, Al. Thank you, John. John Lennon, 1968.

[E]

It's good.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

Pick you up a pair on Nico and Joe Lee on my shop on Etsy. Yeah.

[B]

Sell them.

[A]

Oh, really? Well, that's.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Now, are those real glasses? Do they. Is there a prescription to those or is this just a look?

[F]

There is. Yeah. No, they're real glasses. Just find a pair of frames you like and then just go. Go put your prescriptions in them. You don't have to be just bound to whatever LensCrafter says. I hope they're not a sponsor.

[A]

Talk about closing the barn door after the horse is way down the road.

[B]

Now, for those that can't see, Al is you're holding a mic in your hand, kind of like you're doing your standup show.

[D]

That's.

[A]

I like.

[F]

I just realized I like it better. I mean, as long as I try and keep my hand steady so the. The sound doesn't go anywhere.

[B]

Everywhere.

[F]

But I just think I'm more familiar with this than just a fixed microphone. I'm not a drive time sports guy. I wish I was in another life but, yeah, I like it like this.

[B]

Now, the purpose of this segment every week is to enlighten me into some of the new, you. One might say street terms, if you will, slang that's out there. Do you have any words for me to see if I can identify them or learn them?

[F]

Tom, I'm offended at that question. Of course I do. And I had to come with a word word this week that I had no clue what it meant. And I would go on a strong, strong branch and say, nobody in that room does. Tom, what does the. If I describe somebody as callipygian, what. What am I saying about them? Callipygian. I'll spell it. C, A, L, L, I, P, Y, G, I, A, N. Callipidian.

[B]

A basketball coach.

[C]

Yeah, it sounds like I was going to say like a defensive coordinator in college. That's Eric Calipigian. He's from that Saban coaching streak.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that. Is that a real term? Calan.

[F]

It is.

[A]

It's.

[F]

There is a dictionary definition.

[B]

Wow. Calibrate. Is that. Is it measuring there that this person's good at?

[D]

Measuring?

[B]

Assessing other people?

[E]

Measuring birds.

[B]

What I do is I go down.

[C]

I measure the birds.

[B]

Christy, that makes more sense than my idea. I. I give up. What does it mean?

[F]

It just means you have a nicely shaped buttocks. Oh, so you just say that girl. Man, that person over there is caliphygian. I said that person rather than just that girl because I found out, like, in the last, like, three years of my life that girls look at butts. I had no idea. Yeah, I had no idea.

[C]

That's why they go to baseball games.

[E]

Exactly. Women love that.

[C]

Yeah, they're checking out that nice double.

[D]

Yeah, they are.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And where did you encounter that word? Did somebody use it?

[F]

There's a rapper named E40 who's known for breaking out a lot of different slang, and I just. When I hear something, I just write it down.

[E]

Yeah, I've enjoyed a 40 of E, but I've never heard E40.

[C]

Dad's a big E40 guy. He loves the thin face area.

[F]

Willie, what was your first? Mine was woodchuck. Did you guys have that. That apple? It's like. Yeah, hard apple Cider. It's a lot of cider.

[C]

Old English.

[E]

Yeah, Old English was my first 40.

[C]

Yeah. I was, you know, 17. I went to a private school, but me and my friends listen to Biggie Smalls. There was a big 40 face for us.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Or warhead. Sometimes you'd call them.

[B]

What are you talking about? I'm completely lost.

[C]

40 ounces. One bottle.

[B]

Oh, okay. No, no, I've never.

[E]

You've never done the worker Edward forty hands. Did you ever do that?

[C]

Yeah, where you tape it?

[E]

We never did it, but who the.

[A]

Hell thought of that?

[B]

What is it?

[F]

Tom has to guess what it is.

[E]

Okay.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Obviously it's a takeoff on Edward scissors hands. You have to. You have to drink 40. No, wait a minute. That would be too many. 1040s. Is that what you have to do?

[E]

No, you. You're.

[B]

You're.

[E]

If I were going to do it, I would have somebody duct tape essentially two 40s, one in each hand.

[B]

Right.

[E]

And I couldn't let. They would not be removed until they were finished empty. So I had to. Had to go throughout the party with. And so that means if I had to go to the bathroom, I might need assistance or go in the pool.

[B]

Yeah. And these 40s are full of. What is this? A malt. Malt liquor.

[E]

So it's essentially seven beers.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, God.

[E]

I was the hero of a party when I bonged a 41 time.

[C]

That's awesome.

[E]

They. I mean that.

[C]

Josh, I wish I knew you when you were cool.

[B]

I was a huge bummer chicken on.

[D]

Your dad when he was cool. He was fun.

[C]

I've heard a lot of stories and.

[B]

Boy, I was never that cool.

[D]

You did a beer bong in Daytona beach, didn't you?

[B]

I. If I did, I was on LSD because I don't remember it.

[E]

Well, that's cool.

[B]

I died. No, I never did that.

[C]

They just chug.

[F]

I did one of those. Do you know in Cancun, like, they have those tourist trap bars and, you know, they'll do that thing where they walk around the bar with like, just like some kind of cheap knockoff liqueur and they pour it straight down your throat. I'm like, with like a con.

[C]

I got sexually assaulted by a guy with a whistle. He smacks you. He grabs your ass. It's crazy.

[F]

Yes. Like, grabs your head and shakes it.

[A]

Whistle.

[E]

Yes, you're right. She grabs your head, you become the mixer.

[A]

What?

[F]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Then you get hard, everyone freaks out.

[A]

You're. You're having a good time, everybody else upset.

[E]

You're right. They were always the hottest chicks.

[D]

Yes.

[F]

They were always smoking. One time I did that, and she poured it and it just did that weird thing where it just went right down the wrong pipe and it came right back up. Like a seventh grade science project. Like, immediately party daytime drinking over.

[C]

You never feel less cool than you have to Cough in front of a hot girl.

[F]

Such a. Oh, man. And she's like, you okay, we have a Shirley Temple back here and a cot for you to lay on.

[B]

Now. Alright, well, before we go to. To tie this up in a neat bow here, I want to try to use the word caliphygian in a sentence because I'm not sure I've got it.

[A]

Please.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

So would one say, in the tradition of babies got back, if you will, would one say, have you seen Dolores over there? She is quite callipygian. Is that the correct.

[E]

You know, yes.

[F]

And I'm gonna say something that I want to see if any dude in.

[E]

There can back me up.

[D]

Go ahead.

[F]

Like you play certain cities and towns and just like, you know, a bunch of folks come out to the show and like every once in a while they'll be like an older woman and she couldn't be kind of, you know, not trying to get anywhere with her style. Just chilling out with her man. And she just has a fatty.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Like, it's just like, it's the only. She's not trying to show it off. She's not wearing yoga pants. It's just like. Cause at first you go, does that woman have a fatty?

[D]

Like that?

[F]

And then you have to like make sure you're not on a bad angle because you're on a bar stool and you don't want to. You don't want to just throw that term around. Like, when you say something like that, it needs to mean something. And then like, you're just like, oh my. That retired school teacher has like. It's weird. Just some people just have. It's just amazing.

[C]

And they don't oftentimes.

[F]

They often acknowledge it.

[E]

They are teachers. And in my head I go, you don't know what you're doing to those boys. She doesn't have any clue. Really.

[F]

So you think she doesn't have any clue.

[B]

J.

[E]

Some did. Some did. You're right.

[B]

Yeah. This is an attractive buttocks.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

But a little beefier than. Is that correct? Yeah.

[F]

Well, you know, the beef's got to be there.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Just trying to get this in my head because I think, I think yoga pants certainly have emphasized the callipygian aspects of contemporary culture.

[F]

I feel like yoga pants are cheating. I feel like I got to be the guy to say it. They're skin tight. Yeah. I mean, yeah, yeah. Of course.

[D]

A little surprise left.

[F]

But you know what it is with most dudes? It's when you catch an egg, when she's not even wearing anything tight. Just like a sundress and like, she turns and you just get the whole, like, silhouette of the. That's the sexy thing. I'd rather that over a bikini. It's just the idea. One of my. My old podcast partner Corinne, she says, like, do advice for men. She was like, if you have an eight pack, don't have your shirt off in your, in your profile. Like your Tinder profile. Like, we can tell you have a nice body. We want to think about it. So I think, I know it goes both ways, but I, I definitely like a little left of the imagination.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, thank you very much, Al. Al Jackson joining us.

[F]

I just feel like I filled out an only fans pointed in the right direction.

[A]

Our representative will contact you.

[B]

Callipygian. Glad to learn that term. Thank you very much, Al. Are you on the road anytime soon?

[F]

No, I'm off for the next couple weeks, so I'm straight chilling. So do me a favor, if you are so inclined, go to my Etsy page, Nico and Jolie, and pick out some shoes or glasses for your loved one. Ain't over yet. Keep it going.

[B]

Okay. Perhaps you could develop a line of the equivalent of butt falsies, the Al Jackson Calipian line where ladies need a little more dairy air. Ask Al.

[A]

Yeah, I'm.

[F]

Dude, from your lips to God's ears. I'm that could. You know, I'm ready for a career change. Let's do it.

[B]

Okay, good. Thanks, Al. I love you. We have a break room if you. Right over there. We call it the green room here. It is, in fact, green. And the beauty of our green room is it is now being serviced by the official beverage service of the Bob and Tom show. Java House. What is Java House all about? Well, it's about streamlining the entire production of coffee, tea, hydration drinks, energy drinks, et cetera, et cetera. Java House has developed a brand new system revolutionizing the world of coffee, et cetera, with little pods there. Christie's holding one up.

[D]

This is the hibiscus tea.

[B]

You're making one for yourself right now?

[D]

I am making one.

[B]

Just peel off the top, pour it in there. And as they say in Spain, that's in France, avoila. In Spain, they say, there it is, El coffee. I probably should have gone with French to begin with. It's Java House. So make your break room even better at work by finding out what's happening at Java House by going to Javahouse.com. they've got a whole variety of stuff that's all peel and pour. You don't need any more machinery. Coffee, tea, fancy coffee, lattes, espressos, No X. Ladies and gentlemen, espressos and more. And the best part, you all you need is hot water or cold water, whatever you're into. Shop right now, Java house dot com. Tell them the Bob and Tom show sent you. Java House is the official beverage service of the Bob and Tom Show. Coming up, special edition of Sexy Time with Ali Breen. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. In the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, there's Christy Lee.

[D]

Hey, Chick McGee.

[A]

There's Jessica Alsman.

[C]

Hi.

[A]

There's Willie Griswold.

[B]

Hey, man.

[A]

Josh Arnold. Hello, Ace Cosby.

[E]

Howdy.

[A]

I'm Chick McGee and hello Tom. Maybe today will be the day that we solve someone's love problem.

[D]

Maybe.

[B]

Hello, Chick Maggie. And there she, she is. It's comedian Ali Breen joining us from New York City. Yesterday at this time, we were. Allie. We had to stall for 20 minutes. We couldn't find you.

[G]

Oh, my God. I was like New Year, New Me. And then I set the alarm for 8:45pm and slept right through it.

[A]

A.m. p.m. That'll kill you.

[G]

Oh, my God.

[A]

That and volume control. Oh, evil mistresses.

[B]

Quite the difference. Joining us the studio, it's. It's Jessica Alsman. The. The pregnant lady. I guess we can put it that way. Is that okay? I'm feeling so hefty. When is, when does Junior do what is the story? Less than seven weeks, February 24th.

[A]

Isn't that a John Cena commercial? Hefty, hefty, hefty, wimpy, wimpy, wimpy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

She's having a girl. So it's not a Junior.

[E]

Junior?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Don't some people do that?

[D]

A Junior.

[B]

Don't some ladies name their kid after themselves?

[D]

Him, like Jessica Jr? That sounds.

[B]

Hey, J.J. i like J.J. though.

[D]

It's fun.

[B]

Jessica Jr. Is kind of cool.

[A]

You know who's a partier? Double J. That Double J brings it.

[D]

All right.

[B]

So cool. Well, can I do a couple quick questions? Yeah, Ms.

[G]

Absolutely.

[B]

Yes or no question. You don't have to. You don't have to give me any more information. Okay. Yes or no? You obviously, you know, know it's a girl.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

You see, because you said that. Do you know in your. Do you have a first and middle name planned? Yes.

[A]

On the first name.

[D]

Middle name is undecided.

[B]

Okay. Do you need help Here. Sure.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

No, the answer is no.

[A]

No, the answer is always new. No, it's gonna be like.

[E]

In fact, the answer was yes. You already have a middle name.

[A]

It's going to be Melissa Fergum. All if you'd like that. I thought. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Now are using a family names from you and your man or are you.

[D]

We're trying to.

[B]

Okay. Is the first name that you don't have to say out loud. Is that from the family tree?

[D]

Not at all. I don't think I can even find.

[B]

Now I know you pretty well. Is it. Is. Is it Adam Sandler? It's not. Okay, because you're a big fan.

[D]

Is it a Star Trek name? No, but no Star Wars. You're getting close though. Uhhuh.

[B]

You know, Sandler would be a cool name.

[D]

I do like that, but it wouldn't work.

[G]

Something sci fi.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

Call her Annie, but it's short for Anakin.

[B]

Oh. If it was a guy, it probably would have been Anakin.

[A]

Oh, no. Said no.

[C]

You gotta finish that series, by the way, because Anakin goes a little bit nuts.

[B]

You could. You could name a girl Sandler. That'd be a cool name.

[G]

Except that is cute.

[A]

The last name's Alexander.

[D]

Xander Alexander.

[B]

Okay, take it back.

[A]

Take it back. Is.

[E]

There's kind of a Julia Gulia.

[D]

Sorry.

[A]

What a.

[B]

What a stupid idea.

[A]

Candor. Alexander. I wish I was named Double J.

[B]

Well, Ally, the way this show works is you read us letters and we try to help people with their love lives. What have you got for us? Here we go.

[G]

Dear Ally, I didn't want to take my girlfriend out for New Year's because it's overpriced and a drunken mess. I told her we'd celebrate on January 2 instead, and she got really upset and said I wasn't valuing her if I wanted to take her out for a discount New Year's date. I didn't mean that at all. I just thought it would be more fun for both of us. So she went out with her friends instead and said I forced her to kiss someone else on New Year's.

[B]

Oh.

[G]

Then she got mad and canceled our date. Do I need to make this up to her or will she get over it?

[E]

You need to break up with her?

[A]

Yeah, immediately, if not sooner.

[C]

She's got to be so hot if he's even thinking about writing into the show. She has to be so hot.

[A]

Here's what you do.

[B]

You. You can fix this. You. You can fix.

[E]

No, you're free. Why do you want to fix this.

[A]

You're out back heaven for little favors. It's a happy accident. Ever hear that?

[B]

I think he sounds kind of cheap.

[E]

No, he doesn't. It was. Had nothing to do with cheapness.

[D]

He sounds pragmatic.

[G]

Yeah, he doesn't want.

[A]

It was a little something to do with cheapness.

[B]

She wanted to go out on New Year's Eve and.

[E]

And it sucks. I get it.

[B]

I owe. Me too. I hate New Year's Eve. I went to bed. I went to bed at like 9:30. I wanted to go skiing the next day. No, but I. But I mean, he needs to. This is what she wanted. He needs to do like he could recreate a little New Year's Eve party. Have some fun.

[E]

This is not worth it, man.

[B]

Get her a bottle of champagne and some roses and say, hey, next New Year's Eve, here's what we're gonna do.

[A]

He's trying to buy love. Hear him?

[D]

That's all he knows.

[B]

Willie already pointed out the fact that.

[C]

This chicken hot she must be.

[G]

That's probably true if he's still in the game.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. There's a cat behind you.

[D]

Ellie's playing chess.

[C]

Oh, knock a piece over, cat. Come on, help us all out.

[A]

I'd give $5,000 for that to crap. Right? That would be the best thing in my life.

[B]

Oh, wouldn't that be terrific? Well, let's move on, Ellie. Let's get to our next letter.

[A]

What? Do you know how the cat tail kind of vibrates when they're going at it? Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[G]

Dear Ally, my husband told me he has a work crush after I was bugging him for a long time about a girl. Really kept talking about that I thought he liked. He said, however, that I didn't have anything to worry about because she would never date or pay any attention to him. Which didn't make me feel any better.

[B]

Yeah, that's the wrong answer, you idiot.

[G]

Yeah, exactly, followed by oh, don't.

[A]

Don't be silly.

[G]

Yeah, yeah. She'd never pay attention to me. You're all, I'm all yours. Do I let this be or do I let him know how much he hurt me with that?

[A]

Guys are dumb.

[B]

He really didn't know what he was saying.

[E]

He didn't. He didn't.

[D]

He was trying to reassure you, that's how.

[E]

In fact, that tells. He's not doing anything with her. He's too dumb.

[B]

And she clearly doesn't want anything to.

[D]

Do with him either. So I wouldn't worry about.

[E]

You have nothing to worry about. But you're going to because you're a woman.

[D]

Do we make things up in our heads?

[G]

What would rather be with this girl? It sounds like.

[E]

Do women make things up in their heads?

[D]

Yeah. Is that what you're thinking?

[E]

Have you ever met you all women?

[D]

We connect the dots.

[A]

It's fine.

[E]

Dots that aren't even there.

[C]

You guys create a story like you're Tolkien. Dude, it is crazy.

[B]

Okay, let's move on. Ally, what else we got?

[G]

Dear Ally, my best friend is really flirty with my girlfriend, my sister, my mom, pretty much everybody. It's kind of fun and funny when we're all hanging out together, but I honestly don't trust him to be alone with any of them. I've seen too many weird rom coms. He is now moving and he needs a place to stay for three weeks until his new lease starts. And he asked to stay with me, but I'm super worried about this. What do I say?

[E]

Who is this guy?

[B]

Is this from. Is this from his buddy? Is this from another dude?

[G]

His best friend. So it's his best friend. And when she. They hang out together, he like jokingly flirts with whoever's around. His sister, his mom, his girlfriend. But now he actually wants to stay with him and he's worried he's going to make a move on someone.

[B]

It sounds like.

[A]

Oh, you still live with your mom.

[B]

That's cute.

[F]

Is that it?

[E]

Yeah.

[G]

I don't know how much the moms. Yeah, good point.

[C]

I mean, contextually.

[G]

Also sounds like he lives with the whole family.

[C]

Good. And it sounds like his mom is also super hot.

[D]

She must be a looker.

[E]

Let your friend bang your mom.

[A]

Be happy for him.

[E]

That was a big deal. It's not like you're going to.

[D]

Dear.

[B]

Dear Oedipus junior. Yeah, I'm confused. Why would his. His moving in with this dude get him to be. I don't know. Makes no sense to me. Okay, yeah.

[G]

He's saying if he's always around, he doesn't mind the flirtiness, but if he's not going to be around, which if this guy stays with him for a couple weeks, he's not always going to be around, you know?

[E]

Man, do I have to quit my job to make sure you don't bang my sister?

[B]

Yeah, my mom's still crying about you dumping her and you're going after her sis. Yeah. Okay, let's move on. We have time for two more letters. What do we got?

[A]

Wow.

[G]

Dear Ally, I met a guy who's really cool. Married, but in an open relationship. As long as they don't flaunt it. Meaning he hasn't and isn't planning on telling her anything about me. I'm okay with a fun non committal relationship, but how do I know he's telling the truth about the wife actually being okay with it? I don't want to end up on Dateline, I guess.

[D]

Give her a call. Yeah.

[B]

Can you get a permission slip signed?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

That's a. That's an interesting angle on this.

[E]

What you do. You sleep with him and then you. But you have to bang his wife for safety, you know what I'm saying? So just sleep with both of them.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Play both sides.

[B]

Yeah, that's an interesting.

[D]

In an open relationship.

[E]

You're in an open relationship.

[D]

No, I'm not. Far from.

[B]

Oh, so you're. The point of this letter. She needs to be assured that this is indeed an open relationship.

[E]

Yeah, I think so.

[G]

And that the wife's not going to show up and stab her to death.

[E]

I don't know how you find out that.

[D]

That's a great question. I never thought about that.

[C]

As long as you don't flaunt it line. What a great way to just be cheating and to lie about it, right?

[D]

Yeah.

[G]

Like I can't tell because she doesn't want to know. So, yeah.

[D]

My gosh, this sounds like a lie made up by a man.

[E]

It does, yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And you know what we say? Said you guys are good at telling tales. We're also pretty good at lying.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I think you are being scammed.

[E]

Women make up stories in their heads. Men shout them out loud.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, we have time for our one more letter. We're talking with comedian Ali Breen. A L, L, I, B, R, E, E, N. I spell it out for you because you can find her on a variety of social media platforms. And what have we got? Ally for our final letter.

[G]

Dear Allie, I moved in with my boyfriend and it's been great. I've been cooking dinner while he goes shopping and does the dishes. Lately though, before dinner he started snacking on chips and candy and stuff like that and will only eat a little.

[A]

Bit of what I made.

[G]

I got really upset and he told me now he's feeling like he's living with his mom who used to make him eat whatever she made. So on top of me cooking for hours and him not caring, he also turned it around and is now mad that I'm upset about it. Crazy, right?

[C]

Or no, you're upset at him for spoiling his dinner. I mean, you do sound like a mom in that regard.

[E]

Right.

[D]

You're off the hook.

[B]

You don't have to cook so much.

[D]

Yeah, just.

[G]

Yes, I would be psyched.

[F]

Exactly.

[G]

Let's cook out a couple times a week.

[B]

Yeah, stop cooking completely.

[D]

Here's your bologna sandwich.

[B]

If you want it for dinner. Here's a bag. Here's a bag of bread and some bologna. Make it yourself. Enjoy the chicken chips. And he probably will continue to do that. Of course, then you've got to eat that.

[D]

No, you make yourself dinner.

[B]

Really? You think that would work? You make yourself a nice dinner. And by the way, no spaghetti for you.

[D]

Well, you didn't want spaghetti. Remember?

[C]

You like, you filled up on you.

[G]

Yeah. You only ate two bites of it.

[D]

You could have a meeting on Sundays and say, what would you like for dinner this week? And then plan out the dinners and then you won't be surprised.

[A]

That sounds so exciting.

[B]

That doesn't sound at all momly.

[C]

Like, here's a good solution. Throw away all of his snacks. Throw away everything that he loves. Then he only relies on you, and then he'll resent you.

[B]

There you go.

[C]

Is that good?

[B]

Problem solved.

[E]

If he's still eating, you shut up about this.

[B]

I always love that phrase. What's eating you? Well, apparently, this guy. Well, thank you very much. Thanks, Allie. Are you working this weekend in the city?

[G]

Yes, I'm going to be at Sheba's speakeasy this weekend. And actually, there were a bunch of Bob and Talk fans over the weekend there, which is very rare in New York City. So they said, you know, great things about everybody. It was fun to see them and hang out.

[B]

All right, well, thanks, Allie. Once again, A L L I B R E E N on your favorite social media platform. You're looking great, Ali. Thank you.

[D]

You, too.

[B]

Bye, guys. Now, coming up, we have a variety of interesting things, I can assure you. But right now, I want to remind you about my buddy, Stephen Singer. He was so great during the football Steven Singer jewelers providing those $500 e gift cards for all of our winners. The contest is over. We had a whole bunch of winners, and we certainly appreciate it and hope you had a lot of fun with it, but Stephen Singer's looking ahead. I like this guy. He's going, hey, we got Valentine's Day just around the corner, and every year these sell out. So we're kind of getting on it a little bit early. I'm talking about the gold difference roses. Some people collect them. They've got every one from the history of Stephen Singer. This year it's a new one. Christy was just showing it to me. We don't actually have the physical rose in our building yet. We'll get one soon. It's the new sunset rose. What am I talking about? I'm talking about a gold dipped real rose that will last forever. Dipped in 24 karat gold. And it's the Sunset Series this year. You can check it out and see what it looks like by going to I hates to stevensinger.com that'll match my Sunrise, sunrise, sunset.

[E]

Sunrise, sunset.

[A]

Have you ever felt more alone than right now?

[E]

Yes. I thought maybe my teammates would join me.

[A]

We.

[B]

We tried to sing along.

[C]

I just didn't get tired.

[A]

I'm so tired.

[D]

You saw Fiddler on the Roof?

[B]

Come on.

[C]

No, I didn't see Fiddler on the Roof.

[D]

You didn't.

[C]

More of a rent kid.

[B]

I'm sorry. Back to. We'll leave Tevye over there. Stephen Singer. It's guaranteed to last a lifetime. I'm talking about the gold dip rose. The Sunset Series is here. Steven Singer makes Valentine's Day shopping easy by the way, ladies and gentlemen. He also has some very nice bracelets, earrings, necklaces, etc, etc and he's got his famous guarantee. And you can always upgrade with Steven Singer. Get the details. The sunset rose is the one that's happening right now. Just out and brand new. I hate stevensinger.com of course. Famous for his fast and free shipping. Stephen Singer Jewelers. That I hate stevensinger.com Coming up, we have, well, a guy that is involved. Well, it's a. It's a happy story about a dog.

[A]

Oh, good.

[B]

Another. Another. Another sweet story about a dog rescue that involves something that usually involved in the world of destruction.

[D]

Oh.

[B]

Anybody got any clues? Okay, good. We're in the Aali Auto Part studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom Show. Sponsored in part by Java House. The official coffee and refreshments of the Bob and Tom show room.

[C]

So a little man would fit in great there.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Is he a little guy? Is he a little. You caught us. We're back. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. It's the Boba Tom Ford Show. There's Christy Lee.

[D]

Hi.

[A]

There's Jessica Alsman. Hey, there's Willie Griswold.

[B]

Hey, my man.

[A]

Hello, Josh Arnold.

[E]

I got the blues.

[A]

So there's Ace Cosby. Lord, I'm down. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.

[B]

I'm doing just great over here. Thank you for asking.

[A]

I Did.

[B]

Okay, we have Christy Lee Bobatom, news desk. Christy, what's happening?

[D]

The runaway golden retriever's been rescued with.

[A]

That's impossible.

[B]

Run.

[A]

A golden dream.

[D]

No, it's the help of a drone. After escaping onto the New Jersey Turnpike.

[A]

Golden retrievers just want to be near you. What did they do?

[D]

Well, this is a different dog. Final victory Animal rescue said the nine year old golden retriever named Abby was on her way from a South Carolina shelter to Maine when she and a van full of other dogs stopped at a service area in East Brunswick.

[A]

Okay, now here's what we're going to do. You distract the gods.

[D]

The dog's handlers were letting them take a bathroom break when Abby ran off. Volunteers with the New Jersey based unmanned search and rescue drone team responded.

[A]

There's a company.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

On demand drone search team. Yeah.

[D]

Cool. They managed to locate Abby in a wooded area about 15 miles from where she initially escaped.

[B]

Think about that.

[D]

She had on a tracking collar, which was amazing. And they were able to track her using her collar. She's now back in South Carolina and will be adopted by the Columbia, a family that had been fostered.

[B]

They'll be able to do that to us soon.

[E]

Track us.

[D]

Vaccine. Right.

[E]

Well, I don't prescribe to that conspiracy, Christy, but.

[B]

Oh, yeah, we're all. We're all on the screen.

[A]

What is the cars that drive on water. They got those.

[D]

Oh, they do.

[B]

Kind of cool, though. The drone doing something nice.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Usually drones are in the news bombing somebody.

[C]

That is true.

[A]

So, yeah.

[C]

When did the drone freak the dog out? Dog seems so scared, so skittish.

[D]

That was a frisbee.

[E]

A giant frisbee.

[B]

Hey, Abby, fetch.

[D]

The man's going. Oh, I'm sorry.

[B]

No, it's just a sweet story.

[D]

Yeah, I'm glad Abby's gonna have a nice home in Columbia. Great city, probably.

[B]

The drone probably flew over two guys in suits digging a big hole with.

[E]

A. Oh, a Jersey.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

Drone saw some things.

[B]

Big, big weird sack of something over there in the corner.

[D]

A man is going viral after taking his horse through a Target store. Video on social media shows Stephen Harmon show with two people riding a horse through the store to the delight of customers and the chagrin of employees.

[B]

This is wrong. This is Walmart behavior at one part. This is not Target.

[D]

At one part. In the video, the animal even defecates on the floor.

[C]

I mean, come on.

[A]

Well, it's all coming to focus, right?

[E]

Look at how big that smile is.

[D]

Look at him laughing. Staff repeatedly asked the pair to Leave before they eventually exit the store. By the way, the video, which included a hashtag prank, was viewed over 5 million times on TikTok prank.

[B]

I hope this doesn't start a trend. I love Target. I don't want to go in there and have a bunch of horse manure. Come on.

[E]

I wouldn't, wouldn't I? Like. I'd like to see a Target horse.

[B]

Really?

[E]

It's exciting.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I would even want to take a dump. That'd be fine.

[C]

I know.

[E]

I'm kind of. That's what you.

[F]

That's.

[E]

Yeah, that's fine.

[C]

You gotta buy, like socks and orange juice and then you see a horse. That's a great time. That's a fun Tuesday.

[B]

You think? What did you say? 5 million people have already watched this.

[D]

Yeah. Oh, there it is. Oh, it's a nice palomino.

[B]

Oh, it's a beautiful horse. Looks like Mr. Red. I take it all back.

[E]

There they go.

[D]

Got a duck.

[B]

Are there two people on that?

[D]

Yes, I said two people.

[C]

One's wearing a cowboy hat.

[B]

It's.

[C]

This is my favorite thing I've ever seen.

[E]

Oh, they're having a great time.

[A]

Oh, they went right. They went right by the dollar bargains.

[E]

You're right. That takes willpower, man.

[C]

You don't have basket for Halloween.

[A]

You stop there. That's the story.

[E]

I like.

[B]

They just went by some lady. She was completely non plussed. Just. There's a horse and there's a horse.

[A]

Now.

[B]

Now there are people running the employees, of course.

[A]

Look at that caliper.

[E]

There was some of the poop, I think. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, that's just a scuff.

[B]

Okay, I'm sorry. Let's. Let's move forward here.

[A]

Oh, you do.

[B]

I don't approve.

[D]

Do we still have time for this?

[E]

I don't know.

[B]

What is it?

[D]

A smartphone ban in New York City schools, exposing an unexpected problem. Many of the students cannot read the traditional clock.

[B]

Let's cover this tomorrow because I've got a. This really bugs me.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

But I always thought that smartphones, they would go. They would go in your locker at school or something. Do you have them at your desk? Is that in general the whole thing?

[B]

Yeah, but that's fascinating. A lot of schools are getting wise and getting. They're stolen them elsewhere so they can get a little bit of concentration from the students not being able to tell time. Do you remember the story we had out of England about that they were doing exams and all they had were analog clocks in the room and some of the kids didn't have. They had no idea what time.

[C]

They're crazy over there. I'm not going to listen to somebody that calls 7:30. Half seven.

[A]

They drive on the other side of the road. They're insane. Okay.

[E]

Backwards culture.

[B]

All right, well, we'll find out about that and many more exciting things that are coming up, including tomorrow. Walrus penis in headline news.

[E]

Oh, I thought it was something Jess Hooker was making for.

[D]

I'm out.

[B]

We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Got a comment?

[B]

To share?

[A]

Text us at 888-262-8661. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[C]

The United States Soccer Federation presents the U.S. soccer Podcast.

[F]

My name is David Goss and I'm.

[E]

Joined by my co host, Megan Kleinenberg.

[D]

Everything up until this point has been an outside look at the World cup, and now we're giving people an inside look. It is just total pressure cooker.

[F]

Watching flags come out of little plastic.

[E]

Balls is like the epitome of everything that I love. And the World cup is everything.

[F]

It's why I became a soccer fan.

[B]

The U.S. soccer Podcast.

[C]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform.