The BOB & TOM Show - July 14, 2026

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast

Episode: July 14, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode delivers the usual BOB & TOM blend: fast-paced, punchy comedy, riffing on pop culture, weird news, and plenty of group banter. The gang covers everything from international oddities (Esperanto, raspberry sugar in space, Italian fake-English songs), odd bodily mishaps, and a “battle-of-the-sexes” game on gendered vocabulary, to stories of vacuum-based indecency and bison-related injuries. The tone stays gleefully irreverent and rapid-fire, with frequent tangents and running jokes.

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Key Discussion Points and Highlights

1. International Language & Accent Comedy

[05:00-08:00, 33:30-37:00]

• Chick and Tom poke fun at their failed foreign language attempts, leading to a riff on Esperanto:
  • “I just could never get a foreign language. I tried real hard." — Chick McGee [04:31]
  • “Some fanatical lunatics decided that the language was a problem…so they invented Esperanto. Which I think is about as popular as Klingon.” — Tom Griswold [05:13]
• The crew discusses the viral Italian pop song “Prisencolinensinainciusol” by Adriano Celentano, which is intentionally gibberish designed to sound like English to non-English speakers.
  • “The Italian pop star wrote the lyrics entirely in made up gibberish…to mimic American English.” — Chick McGee [06:57]

2. Raspberries, Diarrhea, and Pop Music

[11:15-14:10]

• Midwest outbreak of foodborne illness (cyclospora) tied to “explosive diarrhea.”
• The gang lightly argues about enjoying raspberries, leading to a digression about the band The Raspberries (“Go All the Way”) and trivia about member Eric Carmen’s hair.
  • “I don’t like raspberries.” — Chick McGee [11:59]
  • “Eric Carmen, brilliant songwriter, singer, and he always had great hair.” — Tom Griswold [12:17]

3. Home and Lifestyle Mishaps

[06:00-06:23, 12:09-15:00]

• Chick tells how he spilled gasoline on his shoe, leading to an absurd suggestion that he hire a “gas boy” or go electric to avoid future accidents.
• Discussion of a viral video: A tourist being flipped by a bison in Yellowstone—crowd is gleeful about the cartoonish nature of the accident.
  • “If you wanted to film a guy getting thrown by an animal, you’d have to do it a hundred times to get…it’s as funny—well, not for him, but…” — Tom Griswold [15:02]
• Update: The victim had several broken bones but is okay.

4. The Great Gender Knowledge Quiz

[20:38-27:00, 62:00-66:00]

• Jess Hooker quizzes the men on “things most women know, men don’t,” with hilarious results.
  • Sample Questions:
    • What’s a beauty blender? (“Foamy wedge or sponge to apply foundation.”)
    • What’s a money piece? (“Chunk of hair dyed a different color to frame the face.”)
    • What’s a diva cup? (“Menstrual cup alternative.”)
    • What’s a little black dress (LBD)?
  • The guys go the other way, challenging Jess on “boy terms” (Van Dyke, Louisville Slugger, Gojo hand cleaner, master cylinder, types of saws, king/jack studs in carpentry).
    • “I think you did better than I would. Not proud to say.” — Tom Griswold [66:56]
    • “Women pay attention more… Also, there’s a chance we’ve all heard ‘beauty blender’ 12 times and just never bothered to ask what it was.” — Jeff Oskay [67:06]

5. Sports Updates and Comedic Spin

[14:31, 31:49, 54:45, 78:53–81:44]

• Chick gives sports updates: Home Run Derby, World Cup semifinals, viral bison video, and a bear stealing a bag of golf clubs.
  • Home Run Derby: Jordan Walker (St. Louis) beats Kyle Schwarber with dramatic “overtime” home runs.
  • “Schwarber hit 11 homers…but Jordan Walker hit home runs in his last six swings…new rule…if you hit a home run, you get to keep going.” — Chick McGee [79:37]
• Discussion of stadium branding obscured for FIFA, and food hacks at sports events.

6. Musings on Backwards Hats, Cursing, and Masculinity

[08:23-10:08, 87:49-89:20]

• Tom rants that men with backwards hats are “99% dicks” based on a Bahamas encounter; Jess Hooker disagrees, finding it attractive.
  • “A guy’s got a backwards cap on—99%. He’s a dick.” — Tom Griswold [08:23]
• The group discusses favorite curse words of their fathers and use in music:
  • “My dad’s was goddamn… It was sparing, but when it hit, it hit.” — Ace Cosby [88:06]

7. Outrageous World Records and Bodily Mishaps

[96:32-99:14]

• The team reacts to David Rush’s new Guinness record: Running a marathon in 125 t-shirts. He almost overheated mid-race.
  • “My body had been overheating…dangerously close to total shutdown.” — Chick McGee (reading Rush’s account) [97:15]
  • “He looks like you could just walk over and knock him over!” — Tom Griswold [98:35]

8. Vacuum Cleaner & Sex: The Florida Incident

[103:48-106:57, 153:14-154:10]

• News story: Man in Kissimmee, FL, convicted for having sex with a vacuum cleaner outside a Disney-area resort.
• The crew riffs on possible names for the fetish, e.g., being a “VacJackian” or “Hooverian.”
  • “Would there be a name for that…like suction porn?” — Tom Griswold [153:40]

9. Odd Science & Space Discoveries

[155:55-157:40]

• Discovery: “Raspberry sugar” (erythrulose) found in dust clouds in the Milky Way, possibly suggesting the chemical building blocks of life exist elsewhere.
  • “This is the first sugar to be detected in interstellar space…suggests that life could develop [similarly elsewhere].” — Jess Hooker [157:06]

10. National Nude Day & Naturism

[138:23-143:41]

• It’s National Nude Day, originated in New Zealand. The gang debates naturist vs. nudist terminology and tells stories about invitations to perform standup at nudist colonies (“Nudes-a-Poppin’”).
  • “I’m more bothered by seeing other people naked than by me being naked.” — Chick McGee [143:25]

11. Japanese Horror: Lips Sewn Shut

[144:17-151:09]

• Bizarre news: Japanese woman arrested for sewing her roommate’s lips shut.
  • “Leaving the 42 year old unable to eat or speak.” — Jess Hooker [144:36]
  • Debate on whether it was a kidnapping or some strange mutual arrangement (“Wouldn’t you have to be anesthetized?”).

12. Additional Nuggets & Listener Letters

[27:27, 28:33, Throughout]

• Letters from fans, including one puzzled by Tom’s slurred speech—turns out playback speed on their device was set to 0.8x.
  • “Relieved you’re okay, Tom.” [29:16]
• Letter from James in New Zealand, “Thanks so much for your daily entertainment…I listen sometimes at ungodly hours in the morning.” [27:21]
• A series of digressions: Yacht parades, the origin of Chris Craft boats, game show challenges, construction site pranks (board stretcher, left-handed smoke shifter).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “If you wanted to film a guy getting thrown by an animal, you’d have to do it a hundred times to get…the way he’s completely splayed out…It’s as funny—well, not for him…”
  — Tom Griswold, on the viral bison video [15:02]

• “A guy’s got a backwards cap on—99%. He’s a dick.”
  — Tom Griswold, on hat fashion [08:23]

• “I don’t like raspberries.”
  — Chick McGee [11:59]

• “This is the first sugar detected in interstellar space…it suggests that life could develop in other worlds similarly to Earth.”
  — Jess Hooker [157:06]

• “He looks like the kid in Christmas Story with a big coat.”
  — Tom Griswold describing world record runner [98:38]

• “Would you go to a nude resort?”
  — Jess Hooker [142:44]
  — “Only to perform. Not to get naked.”
  — Jeff Oskay [142:59]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:15 – Cold open, international accents, song riffing
• 05:00 – Esperanto, failed language attempts
• 06:34 – Gasoline on shoes, “gas boy”
• 06:49 – “Fake” English pop song from Italy
• 11:15 – Cyclospora outbreak, explosive diarrhea
• 13:41 – Raspberry music & food debate
• 15:02 – Bison flips tourist, viral video commentary
• 20:38 – Women’s “secret knowledge” quiz
• 27:27 – Listener letters (incl. speed playback confusion)
• 31:49 – Sporting news: Home Run Derby, World Cup
• 52:04 – Alex Van Halen beer story
• 54:45 – World Cup finals, memorabilia, stadium branding
• 62:00 – Gender quiz: boy terms for Jess Hooker
• 78:53 – Bear steals golf bag, more sports stories
• 87:49 – Dad’s curse words & cursing in music
• 96:32 – David Rush’s “marathon in t-shirts” record
• 103:48 – Florida man/vacuum story
• 138:20 – National Nude Day, nudism origins
• 144:17 – Japanese “lips sewn shut” horror news
• 155:55 – Raspberry sugar in space story

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The Show in a Nutshell

This episode epitomizes BOB & TOM: irreverent, rapid banter, sprawling curiosity, and a relentless willingness to chase the weirdest rabbit holes. From international language jokes to bodily mishaps, gender games, and odd science, no subject is off limits. You get fast laughs, plenty of running inside jokes, and the sense that anything can and will be mocked—sometimes before it’s even out of someone’s mouth.

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Note:

Ads, sponsorships, and standard intros/outros were skipped in this summary per instructions. Enjoy the wild ride!

Transcript

[Chick McGee]

It's the bob and tom show.

[Tom Griswold]

Sup? This is one of my favorite tunes, by the way.

[Chick McGee]

You all set over there, Tom?

[Tom Griswold]

I beg your pardon. Who are you speaking to?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, it's that strange European accent. Quiet place.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm sorry. Your name, sir?

[Chick McGee]

Bonjour. Bonjour. Bonjour. Good morning, Mr. Bonjour. Oh, that's very funny.

[Tom Griswold]

Must be the chick, the funny one. Excuse me, darling. I hate to interrupt you, but there's something I must tell you. I will sing in a minute.

[Chick McGee]

Let it come around.

[Tom Griswold]

I will sing after the band comes around.

[Chick McGee]

It's the band's fault.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

If you find yourself in Holland,

[Jeff Oskay]

they'll

[Tom Griswold]

say to you, how Yamon. In France, they'll say, ferme la Gaulle. In Athens, you'll hear Scarmo. In Berlin, it's Hilton. See the schnauzer. In Jakarta, it's simply boncom. Let me translate for you, darling. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

[Chick McGee]

Coming around again.

[Tom Griswold]

Has there ever been a topic

[Jess Hooker]

on

[Tom Griswold]

which you don't expound? Has there ever been a moment when your mouth wasn't making a sound? Have you ever had the feeling that you might have said, enough? I am begging you, my darling. Shut up, shut up, shut up. Day or night, it does not matter. You still want to shoot the breeze? When I hear your constant chatter, I'm thinking, someone shoot me, Please,

[Chick McGee]

Maestro.

[Tom Griswold]

Now we. We are in the bedroom, so comfortably inclined, but the only intercourse we're having is the conversational kind. There's just one way to stop you from blabbering so much. Say hello to Mr. Johnson. Listen and shut up. Shut up, shut up, Shut up, shut up.

[Chick McGee]

Ah. Bravo. Ferme la douche. Yes. Mer chevalier.

[Jess Hooker]

Hey, there.

[Chick McGee]

Hi there. Ho there. I know I sound weird, but this is Chick honest from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. It's the Bob and Tom Show. Jess Hooker at the news desk.

[Ace Cosby]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

Ace Cosby's here.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Bonjour.

[Chick McGee]

Bonjour.

[Tom Griswold]

Hola.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

I just could never get a foreign language. I tried. I tried real hard.

[Tom Griswold]

I can't either.

[Chick McGee]

You hate it.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I can't do it.

[Jeff Oskay]

How are your Esperanto courses going?

[Chick McGee]

I. I'm not.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not sure I want to bring that back.

[Chick McGee]

Esperanto? Oh, yeah, and chisimbop and all that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Or you and I could just learn it, then we could talk about everybody.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that'd be cool. Yeah. There has to be an Esperado club somewhere.

[Jeff Oskay]

I guarantee it.

[Tom Griswold]

We can explain to Ms. Hooker, what we're talking about. Years ago, some fanatical lunatics decided that the language was a. Was a problem. And when starting wars, etc. Etc. So they thought, what if we had a common language?

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

So they came up with a language. They invented one called Esperanto.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Which I think is about as popular as Klingon,

[Jeff Oskay]

but I bet they were convinced. This will. This is the answer. This is what we'll do.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

The whole world will embrace this.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

As you. As you've often said, like the guy that invented the Velcro shoe. This is it for laces.

[Jeff Oskay]

Bye bye, laces.

[Chick McGee]

I'm gonna own the world.

[Tom Griswold]

I just. Again, I know that's. This doesn't seem like an interesting problem, but why didn't they take off? Is it just the look?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, I. And maybe the sound.

[Jess Hooker]

Sound? Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. I don't know. But I mean, but kids, old people, they've. They're fine with them.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean. And Chick's probably the first one. He's very conscious of the fashion of shoes and.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. I need to apologize. I had the. Every commuter's nightmare this morning. I shot. I stopped for gas and it came out of the hose and got on my shoe. So if you sound. If you smell gasoline, it's me.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, that's annoying. But no.

[Chick McGee]

I tried to rinse them off like three or four times.

[Jess Hooker]

You think you should stop going to the gas station. You have an incident every time you go, maybe.

[Chick McGee]

Maybe I should have someone.

[Jess Hooker]

You should have a gas boy.

[Chick McGee]

I need a gas boy. Oh, gas boy.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe go electric. That way the only accident will be one that'll kill you trying to plug it in.

[Chick McGee]

You think? There was a guy in Italy, a pop star, who made 1972, and I can't pronounce it, but the idea was he made this song that sounded like American, sounded like England English.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh.

[Chick McGee]

But it was just gibberish and it was crazy, crazy popular. What was the guy's name?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that's it, because I know.

[Chick McGee]

Adriano Colin Tenny Teneo, 1972 cult classic hit Prison calmly. Yeah. The Italian pop star wrote the lyrics entirely and made up gibberish. Designed specifically to mimic the rhythm and phonetic sound of American English.

[Tom Griswold]

When we do that all the time.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, when we do, we'll have a story out of China or Japan or Mexico or.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah, yeah. English speakers do it with different languages all the time. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And it. I mean, because there are certain sounds that you could. You do it. You go, okay. That's obviously supposed to be someone, you know, of Chinese origin or whatever. Usually meant in fun. Some people can't take a joke.

[Chick McGee]

Goodbye, accent.

[Tom Griswold]

Mostly foreigners. But what I did there. Do we have. Do we. Can we find this song?

[Chick McGee]

I'm sure we. I just. I just remember that, and I'm. We're gonna give Jason a chance to find it.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, good.

[Chick McGee]

Good.

[Tom Griswold]

In the meantime, a couple quick things. That. That's the live version of the song called Shut Up. Thank you, Colin from Cincinnati, who said, I see an irony that Tom wrote and sings the song Shut Up. Oh, I see.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, I see.

[Tom Griswold]

And then. Then to poke me. To poke me even more, he goes, I've got my backwards cap on. I hate that.

[Jess Hooker]

What makes you hate it? The people under it usually.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, guys. Got a backwards cap on. 99%. He's a dick.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, I think it's. It's one of the hottest things.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

I just. I don't get. I don't know what happened to Tom.

[Chick McGee]

Is that right?

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yeah. I think it's really hot when a guy turns his hat around. Maybe. I used to be some business.

[Jeff Oskay]

I used to be exclusively backwards hat guy.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Well, that's what Tom's. And I've always. You do it. Two things. That.

[Tom Griswold]

And catching.

[Chick McGee]

Catching baseball, catching softball.

[Ace Cosby]

Always.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know if you were here for my backwards hat story. No, this is.

[Chick McGee]

You've never worn your hat back?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, God, no. No, I was. I was in the Bahamas, and the girls and I are swimming, and it's kind of a resort, and so they're. They're sort of people about every 20ft.

[Jess Hooker]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

And you're in about three feet of water, whatever, just kind of lounging around. And a lot of people are drinking alcohol.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, they're holding, like, any. In any event.

[Chick McGee]

Nice.

[Tom Griswold]

There was a guy at the next spot over, and he was talking to three other people, and he was. Backwards hat guy.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, backwards hat guy. And it's obviously very sunny. And.

[Jess Hooker]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Every sentence had the F word in it.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

And it was so bad. I. We finally. I just went. We went down the beach. This, you know, this New Jersey prick.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Backwards hat. Okay, buddy, we get it. You know, the F word's great if. If you sparingly.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

This guy was so obnoxious, and he had his hat on backwards. And I had the joy the next day of seeing this douchebag with a huge arcing sunburn mark on his face.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

You know? Cause he had the hat with the.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

What do you call the half circle?

[Jess Hooker]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

So he had this ridiculous looking thing as he sat at breakfast.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

And I'm sure he ordered the effing eggs and the effing coffee, really. But he to me, epitomizes. And then he probably puts his sunglasses on backwards on the hat while he's eating.

[Jess Hooker]

Sure, sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Captain Douchebag.

[Jeff Oskay]

Right?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, yeah, I'm not a fan of

[Tom Griswold]

that either, but just odds are you

[Jeff Oskay]

don't want the hat going on there though.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, there's a lot of other things that if we remove the hat, that guy's still a dick.

[Tom Griswold]

Right, Exactly. Oh, that's just. But that's, that's just the. That's the neon sign going, you never

[Chick McGee]

want to talk to me, okay?

[Tom Griswold]

No matter what I do, I don't ever want to talk to that guy. And I'm sure people feel the same way about me and I'm fine because I don't want to talk to that me. But thank you for the request, Colin. I certainly appreciate that. Coming up, we have some great letters. I'm just astonished today. We've got so many good letters. We got a couple of updates. One of them about the bug that's going around. Yeah, I know that chickster. Maybe the. If you've heard about this, this what's the best way to put intestinal disorder, if you will.

[Chick McGee]

And it's apparently localized in the Midwest somehow. I'm not sure what that. What that means, but.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, it's not contagious. It's from person to person. It's foodborne.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

And it causes, as you can see in this headline. I didn't make this up. Explosive diarrhea.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah, that's right.

[Tom Griswold]

It's called cycloporiasis.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And let me tell you, if you get it bad, call your doctor because it can last, they say, up to

[Chick McGee]

six weeks and they can prescribe an antibiotic that eases it, but yeah, in

[Tom Griswold]

any event, there they suspect it's probably from bagged lettuce maybe or from raspberries. But they're saying wash your vegetables.

[Chick McGee]

I hate raspberries.

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Chick McGee]

I don't like raspberries.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I don't.

[Jess Hooker]

We have raspberries in the news.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that's right, we do. I forgot about that. That's funny, we do.

[Chick McGee]

What about the raspberries? Go all the way.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I love.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's a good one.

[Tom Griswold]

Great song.

[Chick McGee]

Larry. Carmen singing Go all the Way.

[Tom Griswold]

Eric Carmen, a brilliant songwriter, singer, and he always had great hair.

[Chick McGee]

Oh my, my God. No, he didn't always like a helmet. What are you not.

[Tom Griswold]

You're not a spare. With you. You back me up on this. Eric always looked great. A terrific headache. He went to high school with a friend of mine.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, then why was he all by himself? A man who looks so good.

[Chick McGee]

I'd like to hear. I'd like to hear Eric Carmen and Bob Welch do All by Myself.

[Tom Griswold]

That's gonna be tough because they're both deceased.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, Aaron. Oh, my, my.

[Jeff Oskay]

That sounds great.

[Tom Griswold]

A couple.

[Chick McGee]

You can't beat the intro, though, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, Wally Bryson on the guitar.

[Chick McGee]

Right. I think that's the only thing he's saying that didn't sound weird.

[Tom Griswold]

The circle. Wait till this kicks in. Give it just a second. You think it's doing something, and then it completely shifts.

[Chick McGee]

And then Eric sings.

[Tom Griswold]

Get ready. Wait a minute. We're shifting gears. Great song. In any event, you don't like eating raspberries on ice cream, maybe?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

A little raspberry preserves?

[Chick McGee]

No, I. I'll have to look at the. My canning section at home to see if I have raspberries canned.

[Jeff Oskay]

I love raspberry flavoring. I don't like the regular. Raspberries are hit and miss.

[Chick McGee]

I think they're very seedy.

[Jess Hooker]

They're very seedy.

[Chick McGee]

They're bumpy. Yeah. Is that the odd.

[Jeff Oskay]

They're kind of fuzzy, weird.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm just the opposite. I don't like the fake raspberry flavoring. Ah. I got. I had to get some Pedialyte, and it's raspberry flavored.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, that's no good, huh?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But I feel like a new man.

[Chick McGee]

You hungover? Oh, no. You had the thing.

[Tom Griswold]

I had the explosive diarrhea. I learned where Werner von Braun got the idea to launch rockets. But coming up, we have a one of a letter from one of the farthest away places on earth.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

Directed directly to this show.

[Chick McGee]

Huh?

[Tom Griswold]

It's pretty cool. Got some sporting news on the way.

[Chick McGee]

Yep. Home run derby last night. That was interesting. And World cup continues today in Dallas. And where else are they playing?

[Tom Griswold]

Atlanta.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Tomorrow, though, right?

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

What else was I going to mention?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, we.

[Tom Griswold]

We have a video. The guy in Yellowstone that gets flipped by the bison. We have not only that video, but our commentary about the video posted on our social media.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

It is. It's so funny. I don't know if you've seen this thing.

[Jeff Oskay]

I wonder if anybody's been able to interview him yet.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, he's got apparently several broken bones.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I was gonna say. Is he okay? Yeah, he's okay.

[Jeff Oskay]

He is okay.

[Tom Griswold]

But it's. It's. If you wanted to film a guy getting thrown by an animal, you'd have to do it a hundred times to get the way he's completely splayed out and just does a flip. It's as funny. I mean, not for him, but.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, this was at the state park. Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

I would have laughed longer if this guy deserved it. This guy didn't deserve.

[Jess Hooker]

I know it's.

[Jeff Oskay]

But still, buddy, it's cartoonish.

[Tom Griswold]

Anyways, we've got it. We've got a version of it posted on our social media. I highly recommend. And then what's coming up in the news world?

[Jess Hooker]

Santa Congress. It's that time of year.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah, they gotta get all set.

[Chick McGee]

This is when they bid for malls around the country. This is a great documentary that. What's the name of the wrestler who does.

[Jeff Oskay]

Mick Foley.

[Chick McGee]

Mick Foley, yeah. Did a documentary about Santa Clauses and covered this convention. It's amazing.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, well, this portion of the Bob and Top show brought to you by American Financing. I've been talking about this for a month or two now. What's going on is if you've obviously, inflation way up again and gas is expensive, food way up, but if you've been using your credit cards, which a lot of people have been, and you've got a lot of credit card debt, here's one way to alleviate that issue. That's grab some of the equity in your house. If you've owned your house for five years, it's probably worth about 30 to 40% more, depends on your situation. Obviously, if you've owned your house for 10 years, it's probably doubled in value. So it might pay for you to refinance the thing and grab some of that cash and use it. Now, according to American Financing, their average client is saving 800 bucks a month by using their equity. So you should certainly look into this if that's your situation by going to americanfinancing.net. no upfront fees, by the way. No pressure. They have a salaried staff of mortgage consultants that can walk you through this in about 10 minutes. So visit American Financing at 866-889-2611. That's 866-889-2611. Easy to remember this. Go to American Financing. And as a favor to this show, put slash, Bob and Tom. That's American Financing.net Bob, Bob and Tom. Once again, American Financing.net NMLS 182334 NMLSConsumeraccess.org Average savings based on borrowers who save over $200.

[Bob Kevoian]

Jim Rome takes on sports.

[Tom Griswold]

I will always have a complicated relationship with this game, but people evolve. So do sports. Do not make me regret this. Do not make me devolve back to that guy that so many clones wish that I still was. And do not embarrass the entire country.

[Bob Kevoian]

I can go back.

[Tom Griswold]

I can get there fast. Lose tonight and you got a real problem. Do not blow it.

[Bob Kevoian]

The Jim Rome show podcast.

[Tom Griswold]

You've been warned.

[Jeff Oskay]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Jess Hooker at the news desk.

[Ace Cosby]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Joshua Arnold.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby. Hello. I'm Chick McGee, limping along. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

You missed it.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Ms. Hooker, yesterday came in all girly girl. It was really cool.

[Chick McGee]

Girly girl.

[Tom Griswold]

She's the chameleon of.

[Chick McGee]

I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on this. Yes, go ahead.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm gonna be kind here. I think I can say safely you were kind of a tomboy.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I would say so. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And sometimes you come in here tomboyish, like today.

[Jess Hooker]

Right. And we also said that, like today. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, look, I have a dress. It looks like you're wearing a blue jean shirt. You're gonna go change your oil.

[Jeff Oskay]

This guy. She's got makeup and jewelry and.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, look at that tomboy.

[Jeff Oskay]

This is the one of the least tomboys she's ever looked at.

[Bob Kevoian]

The haircut.

[Tom Griswold]

She looks like a little boy.

[Chick McGee]

No, she.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jess Hooker]

I have my hair folded up. All right.

[Jeff Oskay]

A beautiful clip in the back.

[Chick McGee]

You don't.

[Jess Hooker]

You don't see, but you think yesterday I looked more girlish than you.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes, Yesterday you look more girly. Today I do, too. And that is inarguable.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you could take the wrong side.

[Jess Hooker]

I had a quarter zip on Chick yesterday.

[Jeff Oskay]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

And my hair was down. It was a little wavy. But the quarter zip was pink and white striped, so therefore, more girly.

[Tom Griswold]

And this is a blue denim. Like I said, it looks like you're gonna go change your oil.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Which is fine. You look very pretty.

[Jeff Oskay]

I. We just need the listeners to know that what Tom is saying is inaccurate. That's all we need.

[Chick McGee]

You know, but I. I think it needs to be said that what he's saying is accurate to him.

[Jeff Oskay]

Right. There's no doubt about that.

[Chick McGee]

No doubt.

[Tom Griswold]

This was meant to be a compliment.

[Jeff Oskay]

We're not saying. You're being insulting. You're being wrong.

[Chick McGee]

How many times have you used that phrase? Among other people.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, my God, it's constant.

[Chick McGee]

I'm sorry, this. This was meant to be a compliment. She's in her car crying. What's going on?

[Jeff Oskay]

This was so wrong. All I said was she looked like Bubba Smith.

[Chick McGee]

Good Lord. Michigan State alum. Amazing football player.

[Tom Griswold]

So I was bringing this up because I was sort of trying to get to this topic that Ms. Hooker brought up, which is.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yeah, Chick missed this.

[Tom Griswold]

Chick missed this. And I. And I think, of all people, Chick, maybe I'm gonna have fun. I think Chick will be good at this.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes, I do too.

[Tom Griswold]

And do you want to give him the overview here?

[Chick McGee]

I'm about half, so go ahead.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay, so these are questions that most women or girls know the answers to that men probably won't.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, okay.

[Jeff Oskay]

We averaged 20.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oscar, me, Ace and Tom.

[Chick McGee]

Well, you know how in touch I am with my female side. You know that.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

Do you know what a beauty blender is?

[Chick McGee]

A beauty blender.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you get this one, John?

[Jeff Oskay]

No, Oscar did.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

A beauty blender, like a brush to blend your makeup into.

[Tom Griswold]

Very close.

[Jess Hooker]

Very close. It's the, it's the foamy like wedge that you use or.

[Chick McGee]

Like a sponge.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, like a sponge. Yeah. To put your foundation on.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. So you're close.

[Jeff Oskay]

Very.

[Chick McGee]

I'm gonna, I'm gonna.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll give you.

[Chick McGee]

I'm gonna give that.

[Jeff Oskay]

The rest of us went like an appliance. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Well, I think that's the trick though. Probably.

[Jess Hooker]

Do you know what a water line is?

[Chick McGee]

A water line. Damn.

[Tom Griswold]

I still don't understand this one. Something about your eyeballs.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. I actually lined my water line this morning.

[Jeff Oskay]

You know who has naturally lined? Greg Warren. He gets accused of using something on his water.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. And I think it's because his lashes are so thick. It looks like.

[Tom Griswold]

Is this the lower part of your eyelid?

[Jess Hooker]

It's the lid right under your eyelashes. Oh, yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Mr. Carbonell kind of has that too. A dark water line.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, that's a waterline.

[Chick McGee]

I did not know that.

[Jeff Oskay]

No idea.

[Jess Hooker]

I think the, the big one was. Do you know what a money piece is?

[Chick McGee]

A money piece.

[Tom Griswold]

Now this one, Kelly, my wife didn't know it.

[Jess Hooker]

She didn't.

[Tom Griswold]

But yeah, my 10, my 13 year old daughter Finn knew right away.

[Chick McGee]

Money piece.

[Jess Hooker]

Money piece.

[Tom Griswold]

And apparently it is a thing.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And it's a thing. Begin. It got very popular with an app with a female athlete not too long ago.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, once you. It's described you. You'll. You've seen it a thousand times.

[Chick McGee]

Other than a piece of jewelry, a girl, the most prized piece of jewelry. I can't. I can't think of it.

[Jess Hooker]

No. But that is a good guess. It is actually. It is a very specific chunk of hair that's been dyed or colored different than the rest of your hair.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

And it usually frames your face or it's in your fringe or something like that.

[Chick McGee]

I was watching. I was watching a show that a woman said, you. You messed up my money piece or something.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And to me, I thought it was a prostitute because you get your side piece.

[Chick McGee]

A money piece.

[Ace Cosby]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Makes sense.

[Chick McGee]

Your tomboy piece.

[Tom Griswold]

I've got one I know he'll get.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Diva cup diva.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that's the. That's the alternative to menstrual cycle. You wear that instead of.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And every woman. Because I've been doing this quiz now to everybody I've run into, every woman has gotten this one right away. The what is an lbd.

[Chick McGee]

Lbd.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

And every woman pretty much has one.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. It's kind of signature.

[Chick McGee]

I have no idea.

[Ace Cosby]

I.

[Jeff Oskay]

We didn't either. Oscar did know dirty. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Say little black dress.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

And then. Then we went.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Every woman always says they have to have a little black dress in their.

[Tom Griswold]

And then your name was brought up with reference to this. What is an everything shower?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that's my super Shower Saturday.

[Tom Griswold]

That's your super Shower Saturday?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I love my super Shower Saturday. I don't do it every Saturday, but. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And then I know you'll get. Well, I don't know if you'll get this one. A claw clip.

[Chick McGee]

A claw clip. Is it for your hair? I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's one of those.

[Jess Hooker]

Big one in right now.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's one of those things. You can turn it into a pterodactyl and go, hello.

[Chick McGee]

That's right, Tom, you can.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you know what purple shampoo is?

[Chick McGee]

Purple shampoo. I don't.

[Jeff Oskay]

I don't remember if any of us got it.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't think so. Purple shampoo is a what if you dye your hair or something? It takes.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, it's like a neutralizer because you can. That guy wrote in and said he uses it for his gray hair, right? Yeah. So if you have like bleach, blonde hair, gray hair, it will keep your hair from getting brass.

[Tom Griswold]

Every woman I've run that one by. Okay. They all got purple shampoo immediately. This One I wouldn't have gotten. I should have, but I didn't. What is colostrum?

[Chick McGee]

Colostrum. I know this.

[Jeff Oskay]

This is exactly what I went through.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

It's like it's some sort of health and beauty aid. No, no, no, no. It's like it comes in a jar.

[Jess Hooker]

No.

[Jeff Oskay]

Kind of.

[Tom Griswold]

It comes in a boob.

[Jeff Oskay]

It comes in a jug.

[Jess Hooker]

It's a side chick's, actually. Not wrong. Colostrum comes as a supplement now that you can, like, take. And it comes with your protein. And because it's good for your face,

[Tom Griswold]

your hair and nails and stuff in nature. It exists how?

[Jess Hooker]

In breast milk. It's the very nutrient dense, almost clear substance that comes in before your actual milk does.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

And we had a great letter from a guy yesterday when his wife had given birth, and they were talking to the breastfeeding consultant, and she explained the whole colostrum thing. He referred to. What is it that he referred to? Her boobs as? Her colostrumy bags.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Jeff Oskay]

She didn't care for that.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I can imagine.

[Jeff Oskay]

Right, right.

[Tom Griswold]

What is a kitten heel?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that's a tiny little heel on a shoe. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Okay. And then I want to say Kim

[Chick McGee]

Novak wears kitten heels.

[Jeff Oskay]

I don't know why.

[Tom Griswold]

What options are square, almond, round, stiletto, or coffin shaped?

[Chick McGee]

What are they again?

[Tom Griswold]

Square, almond, round, stiletto, or coffin shaped?

[Chick McGee]

Well, those are. They have to be heels, right?

[Jeff Oskay]

No, they're not heels.

[Jess Hooker]

They're not.

[Chick McGee]

Well, almonds are eyes. No.

[Tom Griswold]

Every woman. I've done every single one got this one right away.

[Jeff Oskay]

I knew this one.

[Tom Griswold]

It's nails.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

And Josh knew it because he likes. Apparently.

[Jeff Oskay]

I love fingernails.

[Chick McGee]

And I. I have all those at home.

[Jeff Oskay]

And when I get my pedicures, I often listen to what's going on.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Ah. So you pick color, Correct. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And we have. We'll. We'll have several more of these. And we're getting a number of.

[Jeff Oskay]

We.

[Tom Griswold]

We did some alternate versions going the other direction.

[Chick McGee]

Oh. For girls, they asked boy terms.

[Jeff Oskay]

Some are pretty good.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And we'll get to those coming up. But right now it's time to read our letters. And this is a great one. It's short, but the origin is. What's so fun about this one? This comes to us from James in New Zealand.

[Chick McGee]

Holy heck. He goes, you can't get to New Zealand.

[Jeff Oskay]

Jimmy the Kiwi, they call him.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's the middle of winter here in New Zealand. But I want to say thanks so much for your ongoing going. Daily entertainment. I listen to the show every day, sometimes at ungodly hours in the morning. I'm looking forward to my visit to the USA in September so I can listen to your show at normal times. Thanks again from the bottom of the world, James. Now, I'm going to ask you. You'll need a pencil for this quiz.

[Jeff Oskay]

All right?

[Tom Griswold]

I want you to try to pronounce this guy's last name. Okay? It's G I, S B O R,

[Jeff Oskay]

N E. G I, S B O R, N E. I was going to say Gisborne.

[Chick McGee]

Gisborne.

[Jeff Oskay]

I mean, I know you want. I know what you want.

[Chick McGee]

I will say Jizbourne just for you.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, G I A N T is giant.

[Jeff Oskay]

Sure.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So it's obviously Jizzborne. James Jizbourne. It's got.

[Chick McGee]

If that's gig. That's what makes you happy.

[Tom Griswold]

It does. Jizbourne, I hope we made you happy.

[Jeff Oskay]

Let's see. What do you do, James? Yeah. You would go Giselle and not Gazelle.

[Tom Griswold]

I appear to be getting writer and writer.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and Tom show. The other day I was out mowing my lawn with my earbuds in and listening to Bob and Tom podcast. I was partly listening and mowing, and Tom was speaking at length. And it crept into my consciousness that he seemed to be slurring his syllables and hesitating just a bit. I didn't notice anyone else having this problem, so I became very concerned that Tom might be having a stroke or be sick in some way. I felt so helpless to do anything. It would have happened if you. He might have suffered a stroke a couple days before you did the show. Then another thought struck me. I pulled out my phone and realized I had my playback set at 0.8 times. So I guess it's my brain set at 0.5x. Relieved you're okay, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

That is so dead on. I'm. I was out on a long walk with the dogs. The exact same thing happened to me. Now I was listening to another. I was listening to a podcast, and I thought, my God, I don't know

[Chick McGee]

how they can change. But I had it happen to me.

[Tom Griswold]

This lady is drunk. And I thought, why are they letting her talk? It's so embarrassing. And then I. Exactly the same thing. I had slowed it down. That's. Thank you, sir. I appreciate your. Because try that. And it does make you sound like you're a little tipsy. Now, we have a lot of other great letters if you want to reach us with your letter. It's Bob and tomobandtom.com we're searching for the audio that chick referenced earlier. We'll see if we can find that.

[Chick McGee]

We got our best man on it.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, Right now I want to remind you that Christy Lee has taken a short vacation. And while she's on vacation, she took something with her. She took her car with her, her Hyundai that she loves. And you could love one, too. It's the Hyundai getaway sales event and it's happening right now. They like to say it's a deal. So right it almost feels wrong. Right now you can get great deals on Hyundai's most popular models, including the adventure ready SUVs like the Hyundai Santa Fe or the Santa Fe hybrid. Christie, by the way, has the hybrid famous for great gas mileage, the Tucson or the Tucson hybrid. And then there's Hyundai's bold and stylish Elantra with the latest in all tech stuff and the all electric Ioniq 5 or Ioniq 9. So check it out at your local Hyundai dealer and be part of the special event where you get away, you get away with a great deal. How about that? It's the Hyundai getaway sales event. Or visit HyundaiUSA.com to get all the details. Well, thank you very much, Hyundai. Also coming up on today's show, a little bit of an update on that snake story from yesterday, which chick is as is as creepy as they come loose Cobras with the Viper, whatever they're

[Jeff Oskay]

called somewhere in this studio right now, a cobra. Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Also, we have a feature that I always hate. New words from the Cambridge dictionary that I typically find annoying. And a lot of other delightful stories on the way, including some sporting news and a bizarre story out of Japan that is reminiscent of a horror movie. Oh, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't that crazy?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you'll see what we're talking about. Oh, and a dog rescue, which is a sweet story, but it's a dog rescue that involves reefer. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Bob Kevoian]

Want to share a letter or comment? Our email is bob and tomobandtom.com tomorrow morning is knocking.

[Jess Hooker]

Stock your fridge now.

[Tom Griswold]

How about a creamy mocha Frappuccino drink or a sweet vanilla smooth caramel maybe,

[Chick McGee]

or white chocolate Moza?

[Jess Hooker]

Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits.

[Tom Griswold]

Find Starbucks Frappuccino drinks wherever you buy your groceries.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Jess Hooker at the news desk. Hello.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hi there.

[Chick McGee]

Hi. There's Ace Cosby.

[Jeff Oskay]

Howdy.

[Chick McGee]

Howdy do. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Chick McGee. Hello. Hello to our friend Mr. Jizbourne in New Zealand.

[Jeff Oskay]

Our new friend, James Gisborne. A good man, James.

[Chick McGee]

Come on by or you know, you know me in my. My TV watching. There's a. It's New Zealand. They've shoot at New Zealand and it's located. The show actually takes place in New Zealand. It's called the Broken Wood Mysteries. Oh, it's really good. It's really good.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. That I really do.

[Chick McGee]

I understand they did something about the Lord of the Rings in New Zealand, but I'm not sure I really do.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the one place I would like to.

[Chick McGee]

To go.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

I mean it looks insane. Yeah, it just gorgeous.

[Jess Hooker]

Lush.

[Chick McGee]

Is it lush?

[Jeff Oskay]

Quite. Quite lush, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And you need a lot of time

[Chick McGee]

because it takes like what, 38 hours to get there for me.

[Tom Griswold]

I remember it took me 36 hours to get back from the Bahamas. Well, but that's a long story. I'm not going to do again. Let's get back to our letters, shall we?

[Chick McGee]

But you are. We were talking earlier about the Italian song in 1972 that they made up to sound like English speaking. The way they hear it. That make any sense?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, the way for example, when I would tell that story about the Asian women sitting behind me when I went to see the Broadway show with Hugh Jackman.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

It's burned in my brain.

[Tom Griswold]

And the. No, this is true though. During the intermission I heard the. The woman of Asian heritage or whatever.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

I probably couple of ladies on vacation from some Asian country and I just.

[Chick McGee]

I just heard they were speaking their

[Tom Griswold]

language and I hear it sounded to me like Ting Tong Ting Wolfman. What's it called? Wolverine.

[Jess Hooker]

Wolverine, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Ching tongting Wolverine.

[Jess Hooker]

Right, so.

[Tom Griswold]

So that's rough.

[Chick McGee]

Isn't that rough?

[Jeff Oskay]

So rough.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Well that's.

[Tom Griswold]

But that's the reality. That's how it sounded.

[Chick McGee]

Well, anyway, this is Adrian.

[Tom Griswold]

This is them doing this.

[Chick McGee]

This is a solo artist. Adriano.

[Jeff Oskay]

I mean there really was a way to explain the song without going down

[Chick McGee]

that I don't think so.

[Jeff Oskay]

I know you don't.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm just guy doing.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not going to be offended by this guy because I've got a sense of humor.

[Jeff Oskay]

Offended.

[Chick McGee]

Either I just. Adriano Celentano or Calantano. C E L E N T A N O.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's go with Selly here.

[Chick McGee]

Here we go. This is what it sounds like. He's not singing yet. Here we Go.

[Jeff Oskay]

Perfect.

[Jess Hooker]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

It's brilliant.

[Jeff Oskay]

Brilliant.

[Tom Griswold]

It sounds just. It sounds.

[Jeff Oskay]

It sounds like you are officially brain dead.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, thank you. You don't think it sounds just like English?

[Jeff Oskay]

I totally get why they think this would be English.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Ace Cosby]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

But I mean, it's better than. If it's better than me doing.

[Jess Hooker]

I hope somebody is.

[Bob Kevoian]

Beat that.

[Tom Griswold]

Beat that argument.

[Jeff Oskay]

I don't. I'm not gonna have to beat any argument, but I'm telling you this. I'm not going to meetings.

[Chick McGee]

You know, I don't think I'm gonna have to worry about missing work anymore.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, well, that's a wild song.

[Jess Hooker]

I wonder who he listened to. You know what I mean? Like, who was he imitating?

[Chick McGee]

He threw in that.

[Jeff Oskay]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Whatever it sound. It could be.

[Jeff Oskay]

There may have been a baby in there, too.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So funny. Nice horn section.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah,

[Jeff Oskay]

No, it reminds me of is. There's a little bit of that in there. There's a little bit of I gotcha.

[Jess Hooker]

Huh? Huh. Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

In fact, it's all Tarantino songs. It's like Tarantino hasn't used that yet.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You should send that to him. What is the name of it again, please?

[Chick McGee]

You. I have no idea, Tom. Here's the spelling and it's a long word, but it's also gibberish, by the way. PR P R I S E N, C O L, I, N. Yeah. S I N A I N C L, U, S O, L. Oh,

[Jeff Oskay]

yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That sounds like a very bad thing to get at the doctor's office. Well, it's going to fall off. What you've got for Salamino.

[Chick McGee]

Time now for our brand new hitbound song here at the moment top show, it's Prison Hungry.

[Jeff Oskay]

We can either cut it off or in three weeks it'll fall off.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, because I. I'm of the school. Accents can be funny. It's not necessarily demeaning you.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'm with you.

[Tom Griswold]

And this whole thing about you can't do that. It's got an accent.

[Jeff Oskay]

But I'm also. I also see why it might be problematic.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it's because the whiny woke. Okay. Because I've never seen an Indian guy that works at a 7:11.

[Jeff Oskay]

I look, you know what side of the wire I sit on.

[Jess Hooker]

You know what it sounds like to me? It sounds like when you think you know the words to a song and then you try to sing it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

You actually don't know the words at all. So you're hitting like all the end of the.

[Tom Griswold]

And we've talked. We have Talked to major artists, and I remember John Mellencamp, who's got a really good sense of humor on a given day. And I can remember John going, oh, yeah, I forget the words to my songs all the time.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

And you just kind of go, but that's probably how scatting was invented.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

They just forgot the lyrics. And. But also, if you ever noticed that there are certain songs where you only know. You only know the chorus.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. There's a lot of songs like that. There's a Black Crow song like that. What is a hard handle.

[Chick McGee]

Yes. Maybe a hard handle.

[Tom Griswold]

And there are a lot of them in which the actual sort of intent and the lyrics are not what you think they are.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Only because you're singing the chorus.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

That'd be like Born in the USA By Springsteen. There are certain songs that. Oh, what? That really isn't about what you might be thinking.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a song called Along Comes Mary by the association and so fast. And the lyrics are a terrible. And baby. Incomprehensible.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But everyone knows. And then along comes Mary. Yeah, but the first part is. It sounds just like this guy.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Four meets Function, though in there. Your mind is a mess. Things. There's a lot of noise up there. And Along Comes Mary.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

And it's all.

[Chick McGee]

Oh. So it works on two levels.

[Jeff Oskay]

So it's. Exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

Every time I think that I'm the only one who's lonely, someone calls on me. Then it says something, but you know the lyrics.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it's because, you know, I like to study the association. I'm a big fan. They're on tour, by the way. I've heard they are happy together, too.

[Jeff Oskay]

That song's pretty good.

[Chick McGee]

It's not bad, right?

[Jeff Oskay]

It's got a weird vibe to it. And it works.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you know that that song Along Comes Mary was actually banned by some radio stations because they thought it was a marijuana reference?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, no, I didn't.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

And actually, I take it back. I was referring to the Italian thing.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, nice.

[Jeff Oskay]

But I like this.

[Ace Cosby]

This.

[Tom Griswold]

This is cool. Now you'll get the first line, Hand claps. The second one is incomprehensible.

[Chick McGee]

You like hand claps?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Jess Hooker]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Here's the one you won't get.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I got no idea.

[Tom Griswold]

Everybody knows that part. Something about chickens and pickles. Chickens and pickles? Memory.

[Jeff Oskay]

Chick Fil A got their inspiration from it.

[Chick McGee]

Chicken salad.

[Tom Griswold]

And it's a terrific song. But again, it's.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, you're. You could be A Japanese speaker. Hear that? And probably get as much out of it as I do. So there we go. Well, that's a great, great find. Chick. The. I want to dig into that guy and see what the story on that is. We've got a lot, a lot of letters here. You can reach us, Bob and tomobandtom.com. i'll remind you of a couple quick things. The store is closed.

[Jess Hooker]

The store's closed.

[Tom Griswold]

Our pop up store is closed. I hope you got some cool shirts. They'll be in your mailbox soon. Also, we had a story yesterday about this grandpa who got flipped over by a bison. And I'm sorry, it's.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, he was a grandpa. I didn't hear, I didn't see that

[Jess Hooker]

his grandson was with him. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

And now they're saying he protected his grandson.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, good.

[Chick McGee]

Is he okay?

[Jeff Oskay]

Broken femur. A couple other things.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Breaking a femur is rough.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

A friend of mine broke his femur in a motorcycle crash. And his doctor later told him, usually most people I see in here with a broken femur are corpses.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Because to get that kind of. That kind of a blow to the,

[Chick McGee]

you know, your bedside manager, I think

[Tom Griswold]

he meant it like, hey, you're lucky you're alive.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

But he had had an issue with this motorcycle. In any event, we got a funny video that shows the original video done by a very fine photographer with our commentary on our social media. I highly, highly recommend it. We're going to return to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Bob Kevoian]

More of the show is on the way. You can find us on X at Bob and Tom or you can email us at Bob and Tom at Bob and tom dot com.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Jess Hooker at the news desk.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello, Jeff.

[Chick McGee]

Oscar's walked in.

[Ace Cosby]

Hey, buddy.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, man. There's Josh Arnold.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hi there.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby.

[Jeff Oskay]

Welcome back.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you. I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, my God. I.

[Chick McGee]

What's happened now?

[Tom Griswold]

I have seen the light.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, is this the thing Jess Looker found?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Ace Cosby]

It's cool.

[Tom Griswold]

This is. I'm. Without words, a guy. This must be a handmade Jet Ski. Handmade out of real mahogany. So it looks like an old Chris Craft.

[Chick McGee]

Right?

[Tom Griswold]

The beautiful, beautiful. What is. What movie has a cool Chris Craft in it? That's recent.

[Jeff Oskay]

Maybe they don't. Does the talented Mr. Ripley?

[Chick McGee]

Maybe that's like that. That sounds right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. There's some sailing in that, though. The Chris Crafts. Are those the. The boats that they have that. That great sound, the engines and. Yeah, the wooden and laminated mahogany.

[Jess Hooker]

Real sexy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they're cool. Yeah. There was one that was hanging from the ceiling of a bar we used

[Chick McGee]

to all go to.

[Jeff Oskay]

We gotta ice that.

[Tom Griswold]

And well, they. When they closed the bar up, they sold that thing for some serious money, I bet. But this guy, apparently, I don't know if he made it. It's a. He's asking $22,500 for a mahogany F12 jet ski. That is really cool looking.

[Jeff Oskay]

And that's a chunk of change, but, man, he could ask for more because that's a one of a kind. I mean, you're not. You have that on the lake. No one else has that.

[Tom Griswold]

I wonder if he's got some electronic device that gives it that Chris Craft

[Jeff Oskay]

sound, which is one of your finest impressions.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, that's exactly what they sound like. Just amazing.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there's a. I know people collect them. There are beautiful boats. Yes, beautiful.

[Jeff Oskay]

I've never been on one.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, they're super cool.

[Jeff Oskay]

And the next time, because every now and again, one will come by the COVID that my brother's lake house is in. Hey, can I just. Will you spin me around the COVID a little bit?

[Tom Griswold]

There's one up in Harbor Springs you can actually get on and they take in a little.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, cool.

[Chick McGee]

You'll see it during a Kennedy retro.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Some sort of.

[Jess Hooker]

Does your lake do this? Our lake used to do this where it would be a Sunday boat parade.

[Ace Cosby]

We do a Fourth of July boat parade. And it was led by six Chris Craft this year.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

That's awesome.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, nice.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

All the Chris Craft. And then it's followed by a bunch of really ratty pun dudes. Like hundreds of ratty pun.

[Jess Hooker]

That's fine.

[Tom Griswold]

Does anyone else know where Chris Craft came into some media play?

[Chick McGee]

I think you should qualify this in your mind where it came in to media play in one of.

[Tom Griswold]

One of the most important events in contemporary culture, Chris Kraft was one of the head guys at NASA.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

So that always go. And now we go to Chris Kraft.

[Chick McGee]

I don't remember that being a name of a guy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And I remember the truax guy, but I don't remember Chris Craft.

[Jeff Oskay]

Chris Craft.

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry.

[Chick McGee]

Did he have anything to do with inventing the boat?

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no, no. They just happened to be his name. Just named him Chris Kraft.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, all right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Which is. Which is kind of cool. Okay, now we have to get to our letters here.

[Jeff Oskay]

It's like having a newscaster named Carmen Gia.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that'd be all right.

[Jeff Oskay]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

What a Carmen gear is.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a.

[Jess Hooker]

Is this a boy question? Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a. It was a. I think it's a Volkswagen.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Bug, but with a cool Italian body on it.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

They're really sharp. My neighbor had one.

[Chick McGee]

Does Albert Brooks ride drive one of those in modern romance?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, I don't remember. Is that what he said?

[Chick McGee]

He keeps going by her house and at Carmen. I think maybe not.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they're really cool. I just saw one of the day, but I don't know if they still make them.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'll have to look it up from Tel Aviv. I'm Carmen Gia.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, now let's go.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not sure that's worth.

[Chick McGee]

Let's go.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I see. I see. Okay.

[Jeff Oskay]

A traveling course.

[Chick McGee]

Sports. Here's Ford Explorer.

[Tom Griswold]

Here we go.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, there it is.

[Tom Griswold]

This is a Chris Crab.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's awesome.

[Tom Griswold]

Automobile engine.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. You can smell it right? I can smell it right now.

[Tom Griswold]

And it was. And it was an inboard engine.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

So it wasn't like you could pull it up or.

[Jess Hooker]

Well, a true ski boat.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, back in the day.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, even the nicest others. I was. When I was in the Bahamas, the guy at the next boat over when we. The guy that took us out, he had four outboard motors in line.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh.

[Jess Hooker]

I mean, on the ocean. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, they're cool.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, it's a lot easier to access them when they're right there.

[Chick McGee]

Didn't Harley Davidson copyright their. The sound of their bike or something like that?

[Tom Griswold]

I think they did.

[Chick McGee]

Is that right?

[Ace Cosby]

Can you play that again for me?

[Tom Griswold]

Sure.

[Ace Cosby]

Like, I swear that sounded like the beginning of a Van Halen song.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah, it does. The drums.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, that's funny.

[Jeff Oskay]

You could eat. You can put that in.

[Chick McGee]

Hot for teacher.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That's just. Oh, just awesome.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But in any event, I. I've completely derailed the show because you guys sent me a picture of a. Yeah. Mahogany jet ski.

[Jess Hooker]

I follow an account that redoes boat. Like, refurbishes old boats and stuff and just. Yeah. When I retire, that's what like, Doc buys or something.

[Tom Griswold]

And didn't your dad, Jeffrey, build a wooden boat?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, it's. The sailboat is in the backyard masked up waiting for the. Our lift to get done on the dock to bring it up. And the whole inside of his. He did in my home was It a kit? No, he. He just.

[Jess Hooker]

His dad's some kind of like.

[Ace Cosby]

So he didn't built it.

[Tom Griswold]

Is he gonna. How do you get the proper sales?

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, the sales came in. He already ordered those. And we should be sailing by fall.

[Chick McGee]

Cool.

[Jeff Oskay]

Make sure you get video of that launch, man.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, I will. Because I'm hoping it same.

[Chick McGee]

Thanks, Tom.

[Ace Cosby]

I would love to see my father fail just once.

[Chick McGee]

True father.

[Tom Griswold]

See, now we're seeing what's happening. His father is a brilliant engineer.

[Chick McGee]

The cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon. Start your Chris Craft again.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, hang on a second. I gotta get the thing over. Here we go. Chris Craft.

[Jess Hooker]

That's awesome.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, this is as cool as the amongst.

[Chick McGee]

Pretty good.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, nice. Never had one lesson. Oh, Alex Van Halen.

[Chick McGee]

I don't think he did.

[Jess Hooker]

And this guy's got one arm.

[Ace Cosby]

No, no, that's the deaf.

[Tom Griswold]

That's Def Leppard. Oh, this is a.

[Chick McGee]

That's deaf. Defl. Well, we know he can do that.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Eddie, I always like to the breaks down and I love this part.

[Tom Griswold]

There you go.

[Jess Hooker]

That's so fun.

[Tom Griswold]

Shifts gears. Just like the song we played earlier from the Raspberries.

[Chick McGee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, the way you think it's going one way, then it shifts gears.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I do. The Cranberries are there.

[Tom Griswold]

No, the Raspberries and the Cranberries are two different bands.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, I know, sir. It's Cranberries. But the Cranberries do that a lot in their songs. Yeah, the beginnings and then it's 180.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I do love that. It's like that Uga Chaka song you were talking about before. Has that Uga Chaka Ooga.

[Jeff Oskay]

What is this?

[Tom Griswold]

It turns into. Turns into a real song. It's really funny. You ever heard my Alex Van Halen story?

[Jess Hooker]

I bet I have. But I'll hear it again.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Van Halen was in town doing. They were doing two shows and I'd gone to the first one. And then they asked Bob and I to go to this drum clinic with Alex Van Halen.

[Jess Hooker]

That's cool.

[Tom Griswold]

And it was at a local music store that sadly is gone. And we got there and the place was just packed, all guys. And they. They just had a small table. It would be a. A four top at a restaurant. Give you an idea of how big it was. Just in the middle of the room.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And everyone's in there and Bob and I are there and Alex Van Halen comes in. He was an incredibly nice guy. Just he could. I. I always will say One of the nicest guys in the rock and roll I've ever met. And he's been in the studio a couple times also. But anyway, Bob and I, we literally starts. We're standing on this table and Alex gets up there with us and he's answering questions and stuff. And a guy hands him a Heineken in a bottle.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Alex puts it in his mouth like this.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Puts his arms out, right, Like a cross. And then throws his head back, drains the beer. The crowd goes berserk. And then when we. I asked him privately, I said, hey, I'm not trying to be a dick, but I saw your show last night. You guys were great, but your opening band was awful. And he goes, oh, yeah, we do that on purpose. We leave the lights up and have a crappy band open for us so we can sell more T shirts. Those were the days, huh?

[Jess Hooker]

That's a good story.

[Chick McGee]

Kind of makes sense.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And I. I believe he's a non drinker now.

[Jeff Oskay]

Is.

[Ace Cosby]

Is that why you bring me to open for you? Josh?

[Jeff Oskay]

What do we have going on in sports?

[Tom Griswold]

But Alex has a pretty good book out there, by the way.

[Jess Hooker]

I read it.

[Tom Griswold]

I read it last year.

[Jess Hooker]

That's fun. I wish I had a party trick like that. The beer thing, something.

[Tom Griswold]

You can do that. Do you drink alcohol anymore?

[Jess Hooker]

I do, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, go for it.

[Jess Hooker]

Back on the wagon or off the. I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you want me to get. You want me to. I could get some Heinekens delivered here today.

[Jess Hooker]

We could. We could. I could learn how to do that. I bet. Well, I could go to Gunner's studio if you Heineken.

[Tom Griswold]

If you did that. Yeah, With a bottle.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you know how many hits we would get on our social media?

[Jeff Oskay]

You gotta practice with water.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, probably. Yeah. Chick can do it with a water bottle.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Maybe he opens his throat and I'm the same.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm the same way. I would barf immediately.

[Chick McGee]

I gotta throw it like a trombone.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, I'm with you.

[Chick McGee]

Yep.

[Jeff Oskay]

Today I bonged a 40. I was a true hero. Are you. Yeah. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, my God.

[Jeff Oskay]

Three and a third beers or whatever.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Did that hit you?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, but I could.

[Chick McGee]

I could that.

[Jeff Oskay]

You know what? That was probably a sir dude night.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

He probably made an appearance later because that was. That was a quarter of the way there.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Would you be willing to do that?

[Jess Hooker]

I'd be willing to try. I'll practice and I'll. Let's.

[Tom Griswold]

I'd be concerned about your driving Home. So could we do it with a non alcoholic beer?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So you'd be able to function. I. That'd be. I mean, people would go. They'd lose their minds.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't know if I could do it though, because. So you have to. You're. I'm you.

[Tom Griswold]

No hands.

[Jess Hooker]

No hands.

[Tom Griswold]

You've got the bottle in your mouth

[Chick McGee]

and you got to hold it with your teeth.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's the hardest part.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, that's what I'm thinking.

[Tom Griswold]

The hardest part is holding your head back and swallowing without spitting out the bottle.

[Jeff Oskay]

Not for me.

[Ace Cosby]

The.

[Jeff Oskay]

The hardest part is lifting it. I always. It's always a weird thing.

[Tom Griswold]

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention something about. You're probably used to having something about that size crammed in your throat.

[Ace Cosby]

All right.

[Jess Hooker]

He is talking to Josh, by the way.

[Jeff Oskay]

Not since your dad passed away.

[Chick McGee]

Hang on a second. Are we. Are we close to a. Is this coming. Are we coming into focus on a jack squad this morning? Is that what we're doing? The show really did pick up when you said.

[Tom Griswold]

I hope my sister's listening. Hi, Jan. Yeah, see, what Josh is implying is knowing that this is awesome. The Griswold. In the Griswold tradition, my dad often called the choker. Polio didn't keep him down. Four kids that man had.

[Jeff Oskay]

He didn't need a cane. I'll tell you what's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, he could have walked with leg number three. This show's taking a weird turn.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I didn't do it.

[Tom Griswold]

We've only gone through three letters. We haven't even gotten to sports. No, this may be one of those shows where you even never get there.

[Chick McGee]

That's all right.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you give me the sports preview?

[Chick McGee]

We've got World cup action today at Jerry World in Arlington. France and Spain for hair from France. We are from Spain.

[Tom Griswold]

And are they the one and two? Yeah, essentially they're.

[Chick McGee]

Well, Argentina, France, Spain, all the favorites have made it in the final four. The top four, England, somewhat of a surprise. England and Argentina tomorrow, both these games at 1500.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, sure, that.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. You got your fifth. I think it's three o' clock Eastern. Not tomorrow in Atlanta or the Falcons play. So we'll see how those go. And then Sunday at Giants Jets Stadium, you'll have your World cup championship.

[Tom Griswold]

And we had a story, it was a couple days ago, that they're gonna take. What is it? A 1 inch squares or something of the turf.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And encase it in plastic and Sell it for like 400, was it 400 bucks?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

They're sold out and they've already sold it out.

[Chick McGee]

And do you know that, what was it? 50, 50.1 million viewers for USA and Belgium and it's the number one sporting event, non NFL sporting event in the history of United States.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And I want to say you're talking. England is kind of the underdog going into this, but they're, they haven't won it since I think, what, 66.

[Chick McGee]

66.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that'd be pretty cool. Yeah, that would be very cool.

[Jeff Oskay]

I invited the Beckham suite, but I don't know.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, yeah, that'll be very nice. We'll posh be.

[Chick McGee]

You should go here.

[Jeff Oskay]

We have hot dogs and we have.

[Jess Hooker]

That's right.

[Chick McGee]

I'm David Beckham. I know. I'm a amazingly handsome guy.

[Tom Griswold]

Do they have hot dogs or would they have.

[Chick McGee]

I have tattoos.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes. I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

And if you've seen my underwear ad,

[Tom Griswold]

my gosh, what is.

[Chick McGee]

This is my voice.

[Jess Hooker]

What is it?

[Tom Griswold]

Bangers and mash.

[Chick McGee]

Bangers and mash. A little bubbles and squeak. Yeah. The full English.

[Tom Griswold]

Those of you don't think this show's weird, it's your own fault. Prove it. Right now. I want to say hello to the doctors at Brick House Nutrition. They've got a new weight loss program. It does not involve an injection. You don't have to take an EpiPen and cram it in your stomach. It's about losing weight with a supplement called Lean L E A N. And Lean is designed to help you lose weight. It's not for the casual dieter. Lean is designed for those that want to lose 10 pounds or more. They've had some remarkable results. This might work for you. You want to read about it and find out about it and check it out. Lean is shown to lower your blood sugar, burn fat, converting it into energy and curb your appetite, curb those crazings, those cravings. Excuse me. And it's designed for frustrated dieters that want to make it happen. So this could be your opportunity. You can get started with 20% off and free rush shipping so you can add Brickhouse Nutrition's Lean to your healthy diet and exercise program. The details, get [e-mail] Enter the code Tom, by the way, for that 20% discount. Once again, it's Tom is the so called promo code to get the discount. Take Lean L E A N Take lean dot com. Weight loss results, of course, are going to vary. These products and statements haven't Been evaluated by the fda. Lean is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease or condition. Check it out. It might be just the thing for you for some serious weight loss. Take lean.com. coming up, we have, I don't know if you remember the story we did it about a guy that was having intimate relations with his vacuum cleaner in Kissimmee, Florida. He's, he's been, he can't be the only guy. Yeah. I mean, were you here for the great, great lopping off of the genital story?

[Chick McGee]

I don't think so.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it's, oh, no, no, I was okay in his garage. Yeah. See this guy, see with the vacuum thing, at least you can do it again.

[Jeff Oskay]

Right, right.

[Tom Griswold]

But yeah, that guy, we won't be hearing about him again.

[Chick McGee]

These are industrial shop vacs though that have a blade inside that chopped off. Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Read the box carefully before.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. Yeah. Look, look before you leap. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Jess Hooker at the news desk.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jeff Oskay. Hey, man. Hey, there's Josh Arnold.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hi there.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby. Hello, hello. Indeed I am Chick and hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Chick Magee.

[Chick McGee]

And we were talking about the World Cup. France and Spain this afternoon at 3 o' clock from Dallas and tomorrow at 3 o' clock these times eastern England and Argentina from Atlanta, Mercedes Benz Stadium. But did you know that they FIFA. There's evidently a Mercedes Benz logo on all the seats and the Mercedes Benz in the Atlantis and they made them go black electric tape over all because Mercedes did not pay anything.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you can't, they couldn't call it so far.

[Chick McGee]

Fifas are a stickler for an.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh man, we won all the money.

[Chick McGee]

That's their motto.

[Tom Griswold]

But we didn't do a, do some games in Vegas Fever.

[Chick McGee]

We were making fun of David Beckham and his high voice. Well, this is, honestly, this is actually David Beckham.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, I was very lucky to

[Jeff Oskay]

have a career that lasted for 22 years. That's Daniel Red played for some of the best clubs.

[Chick McGee]

That's Harry Potter.

[Ace Cosby]

The best players and on of the

[Jeff Oskay]

best managers in the world.

[Ace Cosby]

So I had a, I had a very long career.

[Chick McGee]

But you know, I wouldn't say it's a relief. It just.

[Jeff Oskay]

I knew it was the right time to.

[Ace Cosby]

To finish.

[Chick McGee]

That's right. And get tattoos and.

[Tom Griswold]

You ever see that movie Bend it like Beckham.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's a good movie.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. That's a testament of the human spirit

[Tom Griswold]

is what that movie dispose. Posh Spice ever said that to her side piece as she took a grip. Took a grip of maybe not. Okay, sorry.

[Chick McGee]

How about Posh Spice, wherever she is now, she's. What is the word? Glowering at someone.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't know. I think

[Tom Griswold]

she's on the. The Mount Rushmore of arresting bitch face.

[Jess Hooker]

If you watch the documentary, they're. They're a fun couple.

[Jeff Oskay]

No, I bet.

[Jess Hooker]

I. Yes, I'm happy to hear it. Yes, they.

[Ace Cosby]

They.

[Jess Hooker]

They have a sense of humor.

[Jeff Oskay]

But I think. I think even Posh would admit she has resting bitch face.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, that's just her look.

[Bob Kevoian]

Right.

[Jeff Oskay]

Right. Yeah. Right. Some people can't help it.

[Chick McGee]

This is Posh laughing out loud.

[Jeff Oskay]

We're in public.

[Chick McGee]

British now.

[Tom Griswold]

You were giving us the test of things that. That The.

[Chick McGee]

The girl terms for boys. No, that's not right.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. It's just terms that women would know that men wouldn't necessarily know.

[Tom Griswold]

It was fun. It's a good test. And I've been giving it to ladies for the last several days.

[Jess Hooker]

I'm sure they love that.

[Chick McGee]

We'd like to apologize.

[Jeff Oskay]

Mansplaining.

[Bob Kevoian]

Every. Every.

[Jeff Oskay]

Every inch of the way.

[Tom Griswold]

I like to mansplain, you know, things like periods.

[Jeff Oskay]

Now just what mansplaining is. Is when a guy.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. But now we've had. This is a letter from Derek and he wants to go the other direction.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Okay, we'll ask you. This is stuff that I assume guys know. We'll see how you guys do.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

What is a Van Dyke?

[Jess Hooker]

It is. It is facial hair. And I believe. I believe it's. Is it. Is it the bottom of a goatee or is it a full go?

[Tom Griswold]

Actually, it is the full. It's the goatee with a mustache.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay, so the bottom is.

[Tom Griswold]

The term goatee is misused all the time.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Jeff Oskay]

Just think of a goat with that.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay, Gotcha.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

And so that's with the mustache and the goatee.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the vandas. You got it.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, so the mustache and the goatee is not a goatee. No, it's a Van Dyke.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

I didn't even know.

[Jeff Oskay]

But. But popular culture.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, how about this one? A bowler derby and a cowboy are. What?

[Jess Hooker]

They're all hats.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Jeff Oskay]

So have you ever heard that these women. I remember learning this in a couple psych classes. That it used to be a Freudian thing that women with ponytails had penis envy. That was a sign of penis envy.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, okay.

[Jeff Oskay]

So do guys with Van Dykes have vagina envy?

[Chick McGee]

That would certainly line up with psychological principles. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I had a college professor that. Absolutely. He totally said that.

[Jeff Oskay]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

That. He said that if men with facial hair like that. That's exactly what that's.

[Jeff Oskay]

But he believed he was serious.

[Ace Cosby]

I sported one of those for like four years.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, dude.

[Tom Griswold]

He meant it was an invitation to.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, you got down like that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that you.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, you turn your hat around.

[Tom Griswold]

You like to have the boys. No, no.

[Jess Hooker]

He thought.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, that was who? That's insane.

[Ace Cosby]

Right?

[Jeff Oskay]

Right.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. I think you'll get this one because once again, you're kind of a tomboy.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that fair?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. I wish there was a more mature term for it now though. You know what I mean? Like Tom woman. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, look, my name is Tom. What do you got? You got your Uncle Tom Tom. You're peeping Tom. Yeah, your tomboy.

[Chick McGee]

None of them are hip hop Tom Griswold.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there you go.

[Jeff Oskay]

Tommy rot. Are you familiar with that phrase?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, you're not?

[Tom Griswold]

I need a new. A new terrible one.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that's like Balderdash, right?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. Tommy Rod just means nonsense.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, then that does fit me. Okay. Circular and miter are types of what, saws.

[Chick McGee]

Very good.

[Tom Griswold]

What is a master cylinder?

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, a master cylinder. I don't know. Is it. Is it pipe? Is it.

[Tom Griswold]

It's car related.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, it's car.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll accept that. Brake fluid reservoir perhaps.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay, this is.

[Tom Griswold]

This is an easy one.

[Chick McGee]

Don't conversationally a break because you don't know what a master cylinder is.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know any of these.

[Jeff Oskay]

And by the way, it's primary cylinder now.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I appreciate that joke very much. What is a Louisville Slugger?

[Jess Hooker]

It's a baseball bat.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that. That's an easy one. What is the best selling brand of charcoal?

[Jess Hooker]

The best selling brand of charcoal.

[Jeff Oskay]

I could only guess.

[Ace Cosby]

I only know one brand.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'm going Kingsford.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I would. I would say so.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Is that what he says?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

I wonder though, if for ladies if their most popular would be matchlight because it's easier to start.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, maybe because we can't start a charcoal grill.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, that's right.

[Jess Hooker]

I can't.

[Jeff Oskay]

I have trouble sometimes.

[Jess Hooker]

No, I only use Charcoal? Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, really?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And do you think that the match light makes your food taste different than if you light it in another manner

[Ace Cosby]

or if you gotta let that burn off?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

You absolutely want to throw the dogs on right after.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's. I've. That's been my experience.

[Jess Hooker]

I have that.

[Tom Griswold]

This tastes like petroleum.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't use lighter fluids. Fluid.

[Ace Cosby]

Do you have the chimney?

[Jess Hooker]

I do, yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's the better way to go.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. And it's more time consuming, but it's fine. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

What is Go Joe Gojo?

[Chick McGee]

I only know this because I was on the road with the comedy tour for a long time.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yeah. I don't know what Gojo is.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a hand cleaner.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oftentimes a Supro cherry.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. I know exactly what this.

[Tom Griswold]

Like putting your hand into Crisco.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, it's got sand in it and stuff.

[Chick McGee]

The truck stops all have them. I love the bathroom. There it is.

[Jeff Oskay]

Anytime I see it, I'm very pleased.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll come up with some more questions for you. Did very well.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay. Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

I wouldn't have. I think you did better than I would. Not proud to say.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, that's the thing. Women pay attention more. Also, there's a chance we all.

[Chick McGee]

I have a.

[Jeff Oskay]

There's a chance. We all have heard Beauty Blender 12 times in our. In our lives and just never ever bothered to ask what it was.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

This is from Broderick in Mokena, Illinois. M O K E N A. Yeah. My dad's been a general contractor all my life. Question for the women. Okay. What am I referring to when I talk about a jack stud and a king stud? Oh, I got no idea.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, Tom's a king stud, I'm a jack stud.

[Tom Griswold]

You got the first half of that right.

[Jeff Oskay]

No, meaning I, I jack.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't know. I. I think of a stud in a wall and so I assume it has to do with carpentry and it's. Yeah, yeah. Framing. Sure.

[Jeff Oskay]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

It's very. Yeah. Kings. A king stud gets cut to the height of the wall.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Whereas a jack stud gets cut to just above top of window or door height.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, okay.

[Chick McGee]

The jack stud then gets nailed to the king stud to support the header above.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's good that he wrote. Because yesterday was it yesterday we were talking about the stretcher.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, the board stretcher.

[Tom Griswold]

The board stretcher.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yes. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

We had a letter from a guy

[Ace Cosby]

I got sent to the truck.

[Chick McGee]

The board.

[Tom Griswold]

The board stretcher.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is that.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the gag they do the first day on the job site.

[Ace Cosby]

Dude, I was in that hot trailer for 45 minutes.

[Jeff Oskay]

Stretcher at Six Flags. My first day working in one of the food stands. They sent me around the park to different restaurants looking for a left handed smoke shifter.

[Chick McGee]

Is that right?

[Tom Griswold]

Don't you hate gags like that?

[Jess Hooker]

That's so funny.

[Ace Cosby]

How many did you get through before?

[Jeff Oskay]

And what they would do is they would call ahead to the next stand and go, hey, tell them to go to this. So I went around the whole park for about an hour and a half. They were like, usually we send people out for the bacon stretcher. They just look bored out, but bacon in.

[Tom Griswold]

Now this is a different type of quiz, okay. And I would flunk this one completely. It's video game jargon.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, oh, I'm out. Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Anybody?

[Jeff Oskay]

Let's try it. I got no idea if it's nes.

[Tom Griswold]

I might have some afk.

[Ace Cosby]

Away from controller.

[Tom Griswold]

Or wait, away from keyboard.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, oh, keyboard. There you go. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Hp

[Chick McGee]

Hewlett Packard.

[Tom Griswold]

Hit points.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, hit points.

[Tom Griswold]

Dot, Department of transportation damage over time. Oh, yeah. These are all impossible. Unless you're.

[Jess Hooker]

I mean. Yeah, kids know.

[Chick McGee]

Damn kids.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, how about this one side quest maybe.

[Ace Cosby]

I don't know.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hey, we got to kill the dragon, but we also want to get as many gold coins as we can.

[Tom Griswold]

A task taken on the side. In real life, it means getting distracted by an unrelated errand or mini adventure.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, they're calling it a side quest summer, so.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, okay.

[Jess Hooker]

Find as as many little adventures as you can throughout live life. Yeah, I know.

[Tom Griswold]

What do you call it? Smelling the grass or healing the.

[Jess Hooker]

Touching the grass.

[Tom Griswold]

Touching. Touching the grass.

[Jess Hooker]

Grass. Yeah, touching the grass.

[Jeff Oskay]

You can even just say touch grass. Touch grass.

[Tom Griswold]

Or in Jeff's case, smoke grass.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. Hey, we gotta touch it.

[Jeff Oskay]

Touch it with my lips.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, we have a little bit of cannabis in the news. Cannabis meets canine.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming. Coming up in the news. And also we have some sporting news on the way. Your letters. You can reach us, Bob [e-mail]. we've got a very cool video posted of this one guy getting flipped over.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

By the. By the buffalo.

[Chick McGee]

Bison.

[Tom Griswold]

By the bison. Excuse me. Bison are what we all call buffaloes, right? That's what's on the coin and everything. Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Is this a guy question for women? So you, you're. You're. A child is standing next to you and you are about to use a stud finder. What's the first thing you do?

[Jess Hooker]

A child is standing. Oh, a guy would Take it and beep it over himself.

[Tom Griswold]

Even at the store door.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, always.

[Jeff Oskay]

And it doesn't. It can also be wife or girlfriend.

[Jess Hooker]

Right, Right. Yeah, yeah. Every single time.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. It is an absolute class.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Very.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'll never not do it.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do it when I'm alone.

[Jess Hooker]

The other one is when you have tongs.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Barbecuing. What do you got to do before you barbecue?

[Jeff Oskay]

A couple clacks.

[Jess Hooker]

You gotta click.

[Jeff Oskay]

Otherwise you're a robot. That's how we find out who the aliens are.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Nah, he didn't do stud finder joke for penis. You put it on your penis.

[Jeff Oskay]

You can get up and you can put it on anywhere.

[Chick McGee]

Like I'm the stud.

[Tom Griswold]

I did it wrong. No more anal probing for you. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Bob Kevoian]

Got a comment to share? Text us at 888-262-8661. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Jess Hooker at the news desk.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jeff Oskay.

[Ace Cosby]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

Hi. There's Josh Arnold, my man. Oh, there's Ace Cosby. Hello. Hello. Hello. I'm Chick. Tom, you're on.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Nice to have you back. We've been going through a lot of mail. I have a stack of it here, if you. If you don't mind. Just a couple more.

[Chick McGee]

Has Jess heard your new voice that you're doing, by the way, that you. I think you debuted it last. You wanted to have your girlfriend in this scenario. You were asking the plastic surgeon for the largest breast implant. Do you remember this?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Give it a big ones.

[Jess Hooker]

That guy.

[Chick McGee]

You remember that guy?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Doc.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Well, one more time. Here you go, Tom.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Give it a big ones.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

The same guy who, after a birth will. Hey, Duck, how about a couple extra stitches? Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You know what I mean?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I was. We had the news story.

[Chick McGee]

Well, I'm gonna have trouble looking at that. Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

Breast implant surgery has declined drastically in Russia.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

And the news story was that women are selling. Once they remove the fake breasts, they're. They're being sold on whatever the Russian equivalent of ebay is. And so we got factory seconds.

[Chick McGee]

Essentially.

[Tom Griswold]

We got talking, which apparently is not legal in the United States.

[Jess Hooker]

I would guess not.

[Tom Griswold]

I have been told what. But. And I was. I was making the comment because I just come from my vacation in the Bahamas and.

[Chick McGee]

Huh.

[Tom Griswold]

There are ladies if you're going to do that, that's fine.

[Jess Hooker]

Right?

[Tom Griswold]

Whatever you want to do is okay with me, but you don't have to go watermelon.

[Jess Hooker]

You don't.

[Tom Griswold]

When you can go. No softball, whatever, you know?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I had implants and I had the smallest that you could get because it wasn't necessary to have the biggest one.

[Tom Griswold]

But the guy that I was trying to do there was the guy that takes his wife there. He's wearing his gold chains and his sweatsuit so he can get on an airplane and say, yeah, give it the big ones. Yeah, no, that guy. Okay, great, buddy. I dropped my fake Rolex.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hey, who's paying for him? Dell.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, that guy.

[Jess Hooker]

I knew a doctor that wouldn't let the husband in the office. Yeah, yeah. Like, no, you can wait in the waiting room. And that's as far as it goes. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, when they take them out, do they empty the. Do they put like a straw in or something a little more sophisticated, Empty out the fluid, then remove the sack?

[Jess Hooker]

No, it's a. It's about an inch cut. And they pull the entire sack with the fluid in it out of the sack?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you keep it?

[Jess Hooker]

No, I did not keep it.

[Tom Griswold]

You didn't wrap them up, give them to your husband? Hey, for old time's sake. These are all reasonable questions.

[Jess Hooker]

No, I didn't know. No, I didn't do anything like that. Yeah, I let them dispose of them properly, however they would.

[Jeff Oskay]

Sure, yeah. Whatever it takes.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. And no, never look back. I'm fine.

[Tom Griswold]

I think they. I think they resell them. They. For those. Ever see those people that rest their elbow on. Rest their wrist on something when they're using a computer?

[Jess Hooker]

The mouse.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. The carpal tunnel.

[Tom Griswold]

The carpal tunnel. We. What did we hear? How much were they?

[Chick McGee]

2500, I think, off the rack.

[Tom Griswold]

To buy those.

[Jess Hooker]

To buy the second hand ones?

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, to buy the new ones.

[Jess Hooker]

Brand new in America right now.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Like 18 to 2200.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's not the surgery, that's the.

[Jess Hooker]

Just the implants. Yeah. Okay, that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds right.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you remember how much the surgery was?

[Jess Hooker]

I had some other things done, but I think that surgery was like five to six thousand dollars with everything. Anesthesiologist, you know, recovery, medication, other things.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, that's inexpensive.

[Tom Griswold]

Kleenex for your husband. Kleenex for your husband to cry.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes. Right.

[Ace Cosby]

Do you think they could take the used ones and use them for cornhole? You could. That'd be good.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

I. I don't I don't know. I don't know how sturdy they are.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Jeff Oskay]

Will they eventually pop?

[Jess Hooker]

Will they pop?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't know what the.

[Tom Griswold]

What's inside them?

[Jess Hooker]

Well, when I had mine done, silicone had been outlawed for a long time, I think. Does that sound right? And all breast implants were saline, but, like, within the month.

[Tom Griswold]

Little Christopher Cross.

[Jess Hooker]

I might be saying it backwards, but one of them was. Was illegal. And then it became legal again.

[Jeff Oskay]

Gotcha.

[Jess Hooker]

And. But I still went with the saline.

[Jeff Oskay]

Were yours under the tissue or above?

[Jess Hooker]

Mine were above the tissue.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, above the tissue. We did have a lot of the muscle.

[Jeff Oskay]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

We did have a letter from a guy that when. I guess when his wife had them removed, he put them in the freezer.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And I guess whatever his. Those or hers were made of.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Would not freeze all the way.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

So it was really good for, like. Like, if. You know, if your kid gets hit with a baseball in the face, this thing molds to your face. So there we go.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a nice way to recycle. And how did we get to boob talk?

[Chick McGee]

I don't know, but I was going to say saline doesn't freeze, but then I thought, well, you tell that to the Titanic. So I guess salt water does.

[Tom Griswold]

Once again, raising a good point. A couple more letters, ladies and gentlemen.

[Ace Cosby]

Go.

[Tom Griswold]

Dear Bob and Tom. My daughter was planting some yard work and said to her husband she needs a yard spoon. Her husband said, you mean a shovel.

[Jeff Oskay]

Ah, the old yard spoon.

[Jess Hooker]

That's a good one.

[Tom Griswold]

This is another letter from Kermit, Texas.

[Jess Hooker]

Ah.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you imagine if you're from Kermit, Texas, every time you tell somebody that, they immediately do.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, ho, Kermit, Texas.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

What's green? It smells like Miss Piggy.

[Jeff Oskay]

But pork is what it is.

[Chick McGee]

Is it pork?

[Jeff Oskay]

No, no, no. It's What's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's great. Kermit's finger.

[Chick McGee]

Kermit's finger. Yeah. Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

And the Muppet Universe, They're. They're a couple somewhat, right? Yeah, yeah. A pig and a frog.

[Jeff Oskay]

They got married at the end of Muppets Take Manhattan. Very touching ceremony.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, really?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Where'd they get. Where did they honeymoon?

[Jeff Oskay]

They honeymooned in Tahiti. Oh, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

But Kermit knows she's a real pig, right?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes. In fact, in Tahiti, it was dangerous because all the locals were trying to put her on a spit.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, on that note, let's shift gears and head to the sports page with

[Chick McGee]

Chick Begee last night, Jordan Walker. Silence. The Philadelphia Boobirds. You know how they can boo in Philly? They enjoy it. They practice lustily. One would say, oh, my gosh. Jordan Walker chased down Philly slugger Kyle Schwarby. I was kind of. Of cheering for Schwarby last night. The final round of the Home Run Derby and Jordan Walker becoming the first St. Louis cardinal to win the Home Run Derby. Schwarber hit 11 homers during his 15 swing turn in the final round. But Jordan Walker hit home runs in his last six swings. He hadn't gotten. What was it, seven, I think, in his initial swing. But the new rule this year was on your last swing, if you hit a home run, you get to keep going.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

So he get had like six overtime, if you will, home runs to win.

[Jeff Oskay]

There are purists out there going, he didn't.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah. You know that.

[Tom Griswold]

Why are they changing the rules?

[Jeff Oskay]

That's what the MLB's M.O. is these days.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, switch it up.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And by the way, Schwarber will be on the All Star lineup tonight at the bank in Philadelphia. He'll be leading off for the National League. Shohei Otani, the designated hitter, he has a boo boo on his belt. Elbow, I think, or something. So he's. He's not going to be in the. Not going to be in the All Star.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's a bummer.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. A lot of injuries break out this time.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I've got a framer. Sand on my. A golfer on a British Columbia course captured a video of a bear stealing a bag of golf clubs. Footage posted shows the bear taking a golf bag off a parked cart.

[Jeff Oskay]

Maybe he needed more iron in his diet.

[Chick McGee]

Golden Eagle.

[Jeff Oskay]

I was kind of hoping you wouldn't laugh because the silence was already beautiful.

[Tom Griswold]

That's what I was. That's what I was laughing at.

[Chick McGee]

This was at the Golden Eagle Golf Club in Pitt Meadows and dragged the golf bag off the course. The video follows the bears. It takes the bag into the woods.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's funny.

[Chick McGee]

Where a second bear was waiting. Gee, Yogi, I don't know how to

[Jeff Oskay]

caddy for a second bear.

[Chick McGee]

What's that?

[Jeff Oskay]

All you think the guy looked at his caddy and went, you're gonna go get that?

[Chick McGee]

I want to get out there. That's why. That's why you get 10% or whatever.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, yeah. I'm not tipping you for nothing.

[Tom Griswold]

It's kind of scary.

[Jeff Oskay]

Boy, that would be seeing a bear

[Chick McGee]

in person out in the wilderness. That would not go well in a

[Tom Griswold]

couple and they're really. They're.

[Jeff Oskay]

I've only seen black bear. And they're not massive.

[Chick McGee]

They're.

[Tom Griswold]

We had the story. I don't know if you're here for this last week where the. The kids out in the yard and a bear comes into the yard and their dog goes out and chases it away.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, the husky.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But they're there. One showed up not too far from where I grew up. And it's not. It's, you know, classic suburbs.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But a bear showed up behind a Trader Joe's in Pepper Pike, Ohio.

[Chick McGee]

It's the eco tone.

[Jeff Oskay]

Tom, I can't imagine. And I believe you have, but I can't imagine seeing a grizzly in the world.

[Jess Hooker]

No, no, no, no.

[Tom Griswold]

And that's. Yeah. Now, speaking of seeing things in the wild, we posted the video of the guy getting flipped by the bison in Yellowstone with our commentary. I highly recommend it. We really got a lot of joy out of this poor guy.

[Jeff Oskay]

He flings like.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

It's crazy.

[Tom Griswold]

It's like he's a doll.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And he gets some height just. I heard, except for the Russian judges, he got all tense.

[Chick McGee]

The bison just flips his neck just ever so slightly.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

But the guy stays, like completely X shaped the whole.

[Jeff Oskay]

He's a kimbo the whole time.

[Tom Griswold]

As Josh said, I believe. Or maybe it was Jeffrey said. He's doing the Freddy up there.

[Ace Cosby]

He definitely looks like.

[Jeff Oskay]

I wanted to do a relatable Oscar.

[Tom Griswold]

Not.

[Jeff Oskay]

Don't.

[Chick McGee]

You're playing to your audience.

[Tom Griswold]

We're gonna come right back. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Bob Kevoian]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, really?

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Jess Hooker at the news desk.

[Jess Hooker]

Here I am.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jeff Hoskay.

[Jess Hooker]

Hi.

[Tom Griswold]

How's that?

[Chick McGee]

That's interesting.

[Jeff Oskay]

Giving us his best. David Schwimmer. Yes, Tom.

[Jess Hooker]

What the hell was that?

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick mcgee. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Chick mcgee.

[Chick McGee]

Hi.

[Tom Griswold]

We are touching our toes, dipping our toes, I should say, into the world of sports. What else is happening?

[Chick McGee]

Bicycle race known as the Tour de Donut took place in Illinois over.

[Jeff Oskay]

The Hooker just looked right at me.

[Jess Hooker]

I did not.

[Ace Cosby]

It kind of did.

[Chick McGee]

The race involves contestants cycling 34 miles with opportunities to decrease the rider's time by five minutes. For every donut they eat, decrease the rider's time, so.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, I get this.

[Tom Griswold]

So say 34 miles. Say it. Say it took you an hour. For each donut you eat, you knock off five minutes.

[Jeff Oskay]

I see.

[Tom Griswold]

So it would be possible technically for you to actually do this in minus 10 minutes.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, well, if you put away two dozen donuts.

[Jess Hooker]

Get on a bike.

[Chick McGee]

Another tour to donut race is scheduled to take place in Troy, Ohio, the tri Cities. I'm sure you're all aware. Pick with Troy Covington in August. There's also a shorter race called the mini donut.

[Jeff Oskay]

And I would hope they would only eat mini donuts then.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, your hostess.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, those are so good.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, I. I looked this up. A Krispy Kreme glazed donut is about 200 calories.

[Jeff Oskay]

Okay, that seems low biking.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that does seem low biking. 34 miles typically burns about 2,000 calories, which means you could eat 10 donuts and break even. There you go, boy.

[Jeff Oskay]

10 glazed donuts. Not saying I couldn't do it, but my body would be mad.

[Jess Hooker]

That much sugar, though.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, dude, do you have to stop and eat it or can you, like, slide the donuts onto, like, your brake handle?

[Jeff Oskay]

That's the way.

[Tom Griswold]

Just pull them off.

[Ace Cosby]

You're driving.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, see, we're all nearsighted. Oscar's got 2020 vision.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes, he does.

[Tom Griswold]

I also, I also looked this up. I was trying to think of donuts named after cities like your Bismarck, Boston cream.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yep. Boston cream is number one. Bismarck is on the. In the top five. A Berliner, which of course leads to the whole jfk. Ich ein Berliner story. Have you ever heard of a New Yorker donut?

[Jeff Oskay]

No. What is it?

[Tom Griswold]

A large rectangular yeast donut.

[Jeff Oskay]

Huh?

[Tom Griswold]

I've. I've, I've seen one, but I didn't know it was called.

[Ace Cosby]

What's a Berliner?

[Chick McGee]

A Berliner had to be a jelly donut, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Is. Oh, yeah, it's a round jelly donut. Oh, okay.

[Ace Cosby]

I've never heard that before.

[Jeff Oskay]

I had only heard it from the Kennedy thing. I've never liked, like, ordered one at a bakery.

[Tom Griswold]

There's the famous story that it's apocryphal that he actually said, I am a jelly donut while in Berlin. JFK said, I am a citizen of Berlin.

[Chick McGee]

Berliner. Which man. Yeah,

[Tom Griswold]

There's a Pershing. A cinnamon roll donut hybrid I have had that night.

[Jeff Oskay]

I love them.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes.

[Jess Hooker]

Cinnamon roll donut.

[Tom Griswold]

That does sound.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's what Krispy Kreme has. When you get the cinnamon roll, it's a Persian.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, okay.

[Ace Cosby]

Huh.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And of course, Boston cream, as you indicated. Number one.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, that's my favorite.

[Tom Griswold]

The tour de donut.

[Chick McGee]

I've heard. Boston cream pie. I've never heard.

[Jeff Oskay]

I know I don't like. To me, it's a custard donut and it's a Boston cream pie. I don't want.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

But, yeah, but it is number one on this list.

[Jeff Oskay]

No, I know I've. And I've. I've had to order Boston cream.

[Chick McGee]

And you and I really differ as far as cream filled donuts.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. You want. You want cream. I want custard.

[Jess Hooker]

I want custard all the way. Yep. I'm with you.

[Chick McGee]

Cannot, I say cannot abide custard because the word turd is in there, but

[Jeff Oskay]

so is cuss, and that's fun thing to do.

[Chick McGee]

That's true.

[Tom Griswold]

So it's an effing.

[Jeff Oskay]

Did you guys grow up with cuss or curse?

[Jess Hooker]

Cuss.

[Jeff Oskay]

We were always cuss.

[Jess Hooker]

It was always cuss.

[Chick McGee]

We had a cuss jar.

[Jeff Oskay]

He said a cuss word.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. He said a custom.

[Tom Griswold]

I. I curse.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, I know, I know, I know.

[Tom Griswold]

People is. I don't know if that's regional.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'm not sure, but maybe just family to family.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Maybe the hoity toity.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I think that that's what it was. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I see. Okay, let's go around the horn.

[Tom Griswold]

Favorite curse word of your father? Oh, I. I've inherited my dad's favorite.

[Chick McGee]

I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

The gd.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. I didn't. My dad didn't curse around us very much.

[Jeff Oskay]

I know There wasn't a lot of it.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

No, I was gonna say. Yeah. He never.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, it was sparing yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

My dad was terrifying enough without having to curse. Just the look.

[Jeff Oskay]

Pretty much.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. My dad would just look at me and I'd cry. Yeah. Yeah. If I were in trouble.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm the only one. Your dad a badass Vietnam combat veteran?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

But again, I don't think he needed. There was never. I mean, he would every now and again, but not. It was not prevalent.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. I don't know. I sob is kind of my go to. Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

You know, now that I think about it, from holding the flashlight while he was working on the car, he would say damn it a few times.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

He would let the A.

[Ace Cosby]

Damn it fly.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I was hoping for something more colorful.

[Ace Cosby]

Damn it. That lights in my eye, boy. Move it.

[Chick McGee]

What's your father's favorite cuss word.

[Tom Griswold]

G.D. g.D. Combination.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Jeff Oskay]

That was. I could get away with almost anything but that one.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. That was a no go in our house.

[Jeff Oskay]

I still am uncomfortable with it.

[Jess Hooker]

I like it, though, when it hit.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, I know.

[Ace Cosby]

I know.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Especially, like, in songs. Like, there are certain songs that use it.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, man. That's used so well. But I just get nervous that my mom's gonna. In the back of my head. That's one of the best GDS ever.

[Tom Griswold]

G. Damn it.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

What is that? Les McCann and Eddie Harris. Know what we're talking about.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it's.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's a cool tune.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's live, I think. The Montreux Jazz Festival, sometime in the.

[Jeff Oskay]

Maybe there's a Weezer song that starts with it, too. That's just awesome.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Gd. Those half Japanese girls do it to me every time. The song is called El Scorcho. It's a. It's a great song to listen to in the heat.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, what are the best.

[Chick McGee]

This.

[Tom Griswold]

This does lead to kind of an interesting topic. The best songs that have what would be considered curse words in them. Who are you? By the who, of course.

[Chick McGee]

They kind of slipped that in there.

[Jeff Oskay]

I would. I always. I couldn't believe Hair of the Dog got radio play when I was. When I was 12 or 13.

[Chick McGee]

Now you're messing.

[Jeff Oskay]

How are they playing?

[Ace Cosby]

Oh. As a kid, the first time I heard Play Guitar by John Mellencamp and

[Tom Griswold]

forget all about that macho blank.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. I was like, oh, my God.

[Tom Griswold]

That was an inside joke here. In fact, when John was in here one time, we played it for him.

[Jeff Oskay]

Them.

[Tom Griswold]

In those days, if you wanted something to play in reverse, you literally took the tape and you. You cut it where the word macho s word was, and you turned it around.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's where the phrase ish came from. Like, oh, that's my ish.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

So we would. And it sounded like, macho tish. Forget about all that macho tish. And it was really funny because. And it kept the rhythm. Right, right. Because. Because when you. When you would beep something back in the day, if you'd put beeps where the curse words were, which, by the way, I spent an entire day beeping Sam Kinison's first album. And that's how I became kind of friends with him, because I. It was. What was it called? Hotter than Hell or something. And it was on. I think it was on Warner Brothers. Whatever it was. They sent us the. The vinyl.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And we couldn't play anything on the air, so I took the record, recorded it, and then you would you. For every bit you'd cut out, you'd put in a exact same length of tape except with a beep tone on it. Okay, so that's how we did it back in the day. Now you can do it in two minutes. Computer. But I did it and someone heard about it, some guy in Toledo. And I sent it to him. And then Sam Kinison heard about it and he was so pleased because the record company hadn't bothered to do it, but now he was getting a bunch of airplay, so.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, that's cool.

[Chick McGee]

There's that Melon Camp song.

[Tom Griswold]

The great Larry Crane. Yeah, that's. But what are the songs? Because you got your macho Tish. You've got the who Jet Airliner.

[Jeff Oskay]

I don't know about you.

[Chick McGee]

Really?

[Jeff Oskay]

That funky S Going down in the City. Sometimes you'd hear that version, sometimes you wouldn't. What about that? But I appreciate everybody doubting and there's no. No, no, no.

[Tom Griswold]

I couldn't remember which song. I would never doubt you.

[Chick McGee]

It's Stones. Dead man.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. You can make a dead man arrive. Yeah, I. I actually heard one yesterday.

[Chick McGee]

Curse word.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

There is a current big hit. God, I forget the name of the song. The guy that did Season of the Sticks, whatever it was Noah Khan. Noah Khan has a song that.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

You're into all that. What? You're into all that Something S word.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, when he does it, it's like. Oh, it's almost like a three year old cursing. Oh, isn't that cute?

[Tom Griswold]

I heard a version of it on the regular radio yesterday and they had. He'd flipped. He changed the lyrics. So there's. There's an alternate version of it that's. That's been softened so for.

[Jeff Oskay]

For.

[Tom Griswold]

I guess. I don't know if that's.

[Chick McGee]

For.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know what. Yeah, if stations are playing it or not. But I heard the, the alternate version of it. I know we're forgetting a couple big ones, but we'll. I'll. I'll explore that when we come back. What else is coming up in sports,

[Chick McGee]

We've got the world record when we come back. Oh, with what's his face again.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, you mean my hero, David Rush.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

This is a good. This one almost got him in the hospital. Very soon. Next time, very soon.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

Moratorium on David rush.

[Chick McGee]

No, no.

[Jess Hooker]

30 days.

[Tom Griswold]

There's no moratorium out of World Records. I love this man. Right now it's Time to hear. Hear about nhtsa.

[Chick McGee]

That's right. Dear Bob at Tom show, thank you for the NHTSA announcement. It's important to drive with safety in mind and within the speed limit. However, you should add to your NHTSA announcement. You should recommend people lock their cars when unattended. That way you won't have Tom Griswold sitting in your parked car. That's David in Cedar Falls, Iowa. Look, he's with the program.

[Tom Griswold]

He knows the guy last week. The guy. The car looks just like mine, Chick.

[Jeff Oskay]

You should have heard it, dude. Everyone else's fault but his.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Oh, I can't. I absolutely know what exactly what it sounded like.

[Tom Griswold]

My car was right next to it. It was after we had lunch, Jeff.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

There was a car, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, like yours. Same color, different model, but similar.

[Chick McGee]

Different model.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it was actually. It was the one you have.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, well, thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

Five.

[Ace Cosby]

The lesser one.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, it's the two less. Oh, I'm reminded most morning, you know, and it's. You don't stop speeding because a sharp turn could take you by surprise. Another car could jump out in front of you. A truck could break suddenly. A cyclist could be on the road ahead. A pedestrian could be walking to doggy. And your foot on the gas might lead to a tragedy. You may not think any of these things could happen to you, but you won't see them coming until they do. When you're speeding, you don't have time to. Course correct. You don't have time to stop. So slow down, obey the law and help keep everyone around you safe. Speeding catches up with you. Paid for by nhtsa.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much, nhtsa. We certainly appreciate reminding us to be careful out there. We're going to return to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Jess Hooker at the news desk. Hello, there's Jeff Osk.

[Ace Cosby]

Hi, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Hi, Jeff. There's Josh Arnold.

[Jeff Oskay]

This is closed circuit, but I'm gonna be laughing all day, Chick. And you going the money high.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's right. There's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

It's like weaving what I do.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a tapestry of disconnected thoughts. It's like connected.

[Chick McGee]

It's like weaving, but every now and then you stab yourself with the machine.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

It gets in the loom, you start

[Tom Griswold]

a thread and it runs out.

[Jeff Oskay]

Right, right. It happens. To all of it. It's one of my favorite things.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. You think you're going somewhere and you're not.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Again, this is because I can't think and talk at the same time. Probably chose.

[Jeff Oskay]

It would be no fun.

[Tom Griswold]

Probably chose the wrong career.

[Jeff Oskay]

Be no fun if you could.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, look at this. Here we go. Stupid world record David Rush has brought. Broken the Guinness World record for the most T shirts worn during a marathon.

[Jeff Oskay]

He picked the wrong time of year

[Tom Griswold]

for this, and it. It almost takes him out.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, geez.

[Tom Griswold]

We have a picture of this.

[Chick McGee]

To beat the previous record of 100, Mr. David Rush donned 125 shirts for the famous Idaho Potato Marathon. Wow. Race day at the famous Idaho Potato Marathon. A reminder that you can prepare for everything except the unexpected. What? I started the race with a team of support runners. But by mile 19, the situation had shifted from a record attempt to a medical emergency.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, no.

[Chick McGee]

My body had been overheating, holding so much heat that I couldn't hold down food or energy gels. My stomach had knotted into a ball of nausea, and I was dangerously close.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay, that's too many words.

[Jeff Oskay]

You're not a poet.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Let it go.

[Tom Griswold]

The guy almost loses his life here.

[Chick McGee]

Come on.

[Jeff Oskay]

He's well enough to compose stanza.

[Jess Hooker]

Look.

[Chick McGee]

That.

[Jess Hooker]

That small type. Full page about this.

[Chick McGee]

We ran out of ice. We had lost our second pack of electrolytes.

[Tom Griswold]

Hope they didn't run out of nipple tape.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's got to be heavy on the nips.

[Chick McGee]

My muscles were on the verge of total shutdown. I started to hallucinate, but snow covered hills. I made that part up. I had to veer off the course onto a nearby golf course. Patrick, One of my support runners. This is still going.

[Jess Hooker]

I can't.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Sprinted into the pro shop to beg for emergency ice.

[Jess Hooker]

I need a bullet and a gun.

[Chick McGee]

That I was the only reason I didn't end up in the hospital.

[Jeff Oskay]

Also didn't even go to the hospital.

[Chick McGee]

Hospital. I rushed. I finished. All this drama for not five hours. 54 minutes. 50.

[Tom Griswold]

He finishes. He's got the record.

[Jeff Oskay]

So he even did it.

[Tom Griswold]

125 shirts.

[Jeff Oskay]

He looks. He looks hilarious.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

He looks like you could just walk over and knock him over.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. He looks like the kid in the Christmas story. Kind of play with a big coat.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Very funny.

[Ace Cosby]

All right.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well. Glad he's okay. And glad he got the record.

[Chick McGee]

But.

[Jeff Oskay]

But leave us alone for a little bit.

[Jess Hooker]

Bit.

[Jeff Oskay]

He doesn't ask for this.

[Ace Cosby]

No.

[Jess Hooker]

At all. No.

[Chick McGee]

It looks like.

[Tom Griswold]

It kind of looks like If Humpty Dumpty decided to get in shape. Well, I'm gonna decide. I'm gonna finally go out there and get in shape.

[Chick McGee]

That's a.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a good look.

[Jeff Oskay]

And he opted for what looked to be generic T shirts.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

You know, hold out for a sponsor. Yeah, why not?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Bob and Tom sure would have looked nice.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, pay him.

[Tom Griswold]

That's what I would tell me.

[Chick McGee]

I'd be happy to.

[Jess Hooker]

You pay him.

[Ace Cosby]

No, I'll put on a bunch of shirts.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, are. Are we going to do your debearding on the air?

[Jeff Oskay]

No, he made that pretty clear. Yes.

[Ace Cosby]

He did it last time.

[Chick McGee]

No, this is my favorite part about Tom. He'll ask you to do something like this and you know, flat. No.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Then he keeps coming. Poor Jeff.

[Jeff Oskay]

All Jeff.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you notice how I did it?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I said, we are going to do your deer beating.

[Jeff Oskay]

Deer beating. Now I will watch a deer beating.

[Ace Cosby]

I'm in on that.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry.

[Chick McGee]

He comes back in. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

No, Jeffrey said he's. I'm gonna get rid of.

[Jeff Oskay]

It's my fault.

[Ace Cosby]

I said I was gonna trim my beard.

[Jess Hooker]

And what has Chick taught us? I know you don't talk about anything personal in this room, so how are

[Tom Griswold]

you gonna do it? Do you have one of those clippers with a guard on it?

[Jess Hooker]

How are you gonna do.

[Jeff Oskay]

Again? This is that classic. The man thinks we are incapable.

[Jess Hooker]

How do you shave every morning? That's exactly what.

[Tom Griswold]

You're not going down to the skin, are you?

[Ace Cosby]

I'm going pretty close.

[Jeff Oskay]

Really?

[Jess Hooker]

No. No guard.

[Ace Cosby]

Not on the neck.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you use scissors?

[Ace Cosby]

I'll start with scissors and then work my way to a nice trimmer.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't you have one of those, like, dog trimmers that you use?

[Chick McGee]

I know Tom's wanting to ask this. Do you do this at your home? You have electricity in your home? Is that how you do this?

[Jeff Oskay]

I do have a. I do have clippers, but I would start with scissors as well.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes.

[Jess Hooker]

You always start with scissors.

[Chick McGee]

It gets bushy enough, right?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, okay. Well. And you have an extraordinarily bushy beard.

[Jeff Oskay]

I think it looks great.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm really getting used to it.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, I.

[Jeff Oskay]

It's got hot, you know, it's hot. It's a little hot. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

He's only had it for six years. I'm really getting used to it.

[Chick McGee]

And I'm gonna say good things take time. He's only looked like this ever since I've known him.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, by the way, this is kind of funny, but this is. There's a comedy event that Willie G. And Jeff Oskay.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Are doing in Nashville, Indiana.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And I don't know how it happened, but the poster, I think they aied it.

[Jeff Oskay]

I mean, Willie's picture is absolutely.

[Ace Cosby]

AI.

[Tom Griswold]

It looks nothing like him. No baffle.

[Bob Kevoian]

No.

[Jess Hooker]

From here. From here it does, right?

[Jeff Oskay]

Right. From a distance.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. I wouldn't. He's my son. I wouldn't recognize him.

[Ace Cosby]

Willie has submitted and updated headshot, and the flyer has been updated.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Jeff Oskay]

So what did Willie say about it?

[Ace Cosby]

He didn't. I was like, hey, is that you on the poster? He goes, I don't think so.

[Chick McGee]

It's.

[Tom Griswold]

It's Saturday night at the Story Inn in Nashville, Indiana.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't want to throw Wilbur under the bus, but usually when these things happen, the comedy club has asked for a head shot multiple times. And then they go, we'll just make our own.

[Tom Griswold]

And then the one of Jeff, your eyes are blurred out, and that's how I look.

[Jeff Oskay]

What he means is the hat is kind of covering your eyes.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You can't see your. I think it looks kind of.

[Jess Hooker]

That's. That's Jeff's. Like the final miles of forest gump running across the country.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

That's full hair, full beard.

[Jeff Oskay]

Pretty tired.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, how about this?

[Chick McGee]

And then I'll just stop.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, hear me out on this. What about doing what Josh did and going through a series of facial hair?

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, I could do that.

[Tom Griswold]

Like. Like you come in with.

[Chick McGee]

I love the civil war look you had there for a little bit. Like the connecting.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

The sideburns go up to the mustache.

[Jess Hooker]

Look at Jeff's mustache. That mustache is crazy.

[Jeff Oskay]

It's gonna look great if you went to Jesco. Mustache or even, you know, stubble and just mustache.

[Ace Cosby]

It's very Polish. It's a very Polish mustache. Mustache.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

So that's very.

[Jeff Oskay]

It's a Polish mustache in that it's on your chin. A goatee is called a Polish mustache.

[Tom Griswold]

I like that joke very much. Yeah, you could do it. You could do anything. You could do a badass Fu Manchu.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, I could do a Hulk Hogan.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, we'll see.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'm.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm certainly looking forward. Is this transition going to take place before your big show Saturday?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, it'll be a great show. Come out. I'm. I'm actually opening for Willie. I'm trying a bunch of new stuff, so I will bomb for about 30 minutes, I doubt it up, and bring it home.

[Jess Hooker]

Not true.

[Jeff Oskay]

It'll be great.

[Tom Griswold]

It'll be a great show. Now, I believe is that completed our sports broadcast?

[Chick McGee]

Yes, sir.

[Tom Griswold]

That means we turn to Ms. Hooker sitting in for Christy Lee at the Bob and Tom news desk. What's happening over there?

[Jess Hooker]

A man from Florida was found guilty of having sex with a vacuum cleaner.

[Jeff Oskay]

This is a victimless crime, isn't it?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

[Jess Hooker]

Hold on.

[Tom Griswold]

There's more to it.

[Jess Hooker]

The event took place outside a home near Disney World.

[Jeff Oskay]

Okay, outside? Yeah, you gotta do that inside, pal.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Mr. Kevin Westerholt entered a no contest plea to indecent exposure in connection with the incident at the Windsor Hills Resort in Kissimmee. Oh, so he was at a resort? Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Where'd he get a vacuum at a resort?

[Jess Hooker]

On the maid cart.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, he had to. He had to chloroform the housekeeper.

[Tom Griswold]

Guy's 51 years old. Oh, yeah, but he's still. He's still really potent.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, he. He impregnated the vacuum cleaner. They're expecting a Dyson, a Dai. Son.

[Jeff Oskay]

Son.

[Chick McGee]

A Dyson son or Dyson.

[Tom Griswold]

How about this one?

[Chick McGee]

Hoover?

[Tom Griswold]

I hardly knew her.

[Jeff Oskay]

No, I'm going to go with a little better no, thank you to both.

[Jess Hooker]

According to police, Mr. Westerholt had been caught naked from the waist down.

[Chick McGee]

How's it going?

[Jess Hooker]

Seen pleasuring himself with a vacuum cleaner in broad daylight.

[Jeff Oskay]

So that's the problem, obviously. The hose, the extension.

[Ace Cosby]

Right.

[Jess Hooker]

A detective said he continued to penetrate the handheld section of the vacuum before using it to. To suction his testicles for further sexual gratification.

[Jeff Oskay]

Okay, so he's got his wiener in the handle part.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Jeff Oskay]

And then the hose is attached to his nuts. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And you didn't want to do the story.

[Jeff Oskay]

I know. I never said that. That's unbelievable.

[Ace Cosby]

Do you think he was just detailing his undercarriage?

[Jess Hooker]

Maybe. It's been a sweaty day at the park.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, I think we're all missing the plus side here. Easy cleanup.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that's true.

[Tom Griswold]

Kind of shock vac.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, it's a wet drag or something, I would think.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, I've used a. That could. Couldn't that turn your nuts into taffy?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, I'd be terrified.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, that's too much.

[Jeff Oskay]

There's too much suction.

[Chick McGee]

Too much. There's too much of what you like.

[Tom Griswold]

And he's. He's out there in public doing this with this shop vac up his Nazi.

[Jess Hooker]

The 51 year old was sentenced to 12 months probation. Fined $271 and must undergo a psychosexual evaluation within the next month.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh.

[Jeff Oskay]

Six other vacuums have come out and accused.

[Tom Griswold]

He's not going to run.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, he's out.

[Tom Griswold]

I would have shouted, get a room.

[Chick McGee]

Get a room.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's the best of the three.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know. I had really high hopes for either. Expecting a Dyson?

[Ace Cosby]

What about this? I think I can do worse. Sticking your thing into a vacuum like that is taking a lot of Kirby risk.

[Jeff Oskay]

Kirby risk?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's the full. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Kirby is a famous vacuum.

[Chick McGee]

I think they combined with another.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, right.

[Jeff Oskay]

I guess I can even picture the.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, Kirby risk.

[Jess Hooker]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

You know the fact that we're talking about it in this way. How.

[Tom Griswold]

What is the other. What's. Oh, the flow be.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. Remember that.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, the haircut thing, the sucking cut. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

It sucks while it cuts.

[Tom Griswold]

Would that. Does that. Would that have a receptacle that would work for this?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, I'd be so nervous about the blade part.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there's blades in there. Never mind. Sorry.

[Chick McGee]

You know what? You know what cutting is, right?

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't realize that's how that work.

[Ace Cosby]

I've never used a flow like a little circumcision machine.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't want to get a little.

[Jeff Oskay]

Never had a flow job.

[Tom Griswold]

Dear Bob and Tom, I took your idea and did a flow be down there. Oh, no, I didn't realize. Blades in there.

[Jeff Oskay]

Mazel tov.

[Tom Griswold]

Yikes. Yeah, the. The home circumcision kit.

[Jess Hooker]

Did you guys ever try to give yourself a hickey with the vacuum cleaner?

[Bob Kevoian]

No.

[Chick McGee]

You know, I'm going to say yes. I think I do sort of remember. Remember that?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh really?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I think I did.

[Jeff Oskay]

I guess it works, huh?

[Jess Hooker]

I don't know. Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Did it work?

[Chick McGee]

A little bit? Yeah, I guess.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh yeah. No, I never, never did do that.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, let's push forward here. What else have you got over there?

[Chick McGee]

Being an only child is no picnic, I can tell you that.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh yeah. My brothers and I just gave each other hickey.

[Chick McGee]

I was lucky enough roller skating in the basement. Sure, you guys, you got each other.

[Jess Hooker]

An international study has discovered that people naturally tend to walk to the left. Researchers observe that when a group of people is asked to walk, whether in an enclosed or completely open space, there is a slight tendency to move in a clockwise direction.

[Jeff Oskay]

Interesting.

[Tom Griswold]

This is really, really interesting.

[Ace Cosby]

I agree with this.

[Chick McGee]

I don't think it. I think it's. I, they've. I think we are on the right side. We're right side walkers. And like in England, I Think they're left sidewalkers? No, but they mean the same way the cars go is how they walk.

[Tom Griswold]

They studied. They studied large groups of people at stadiums and stuff.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And they. They tend to veer.

[Jeff Oskay]

So you're right in that if you're walking one way and I'm walking the other, we will pick the lane that we drive in.

[Chick McGee]

Right, right, right.

[Jeff Oskay]

But as a person's walking straight, they tend to veer to the left is what I'm saying.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Seems odd.

[Ace Cosby]

I'm deaf in my left ear, so I always have people on my right when I'm walking. And they will walk me into a wall.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Like, eventually, like, I'm like, give me some room.

[Jeff Oskay]

Have you ever had going left either somebody in a relationship you're with. You're with somebody in a relationship or a friend where they're off from where you veer.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Jeff Oskay]

And you end up bumping into each other four times in half an hour. You're like, what are we doing?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Take your kids to the grocery store.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

That's where that happens. Happens.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Whenever I walk with Kelly, I'm always constantly running into her.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

But like, what do you. You never walk straight, man. You're like a ping ball down the hallway just bouncing off the.

[Tom Griswold]

I can't focus. I admit it. Yeah. But I think this is a fascinating story.

[Chick McGee]

You walk like Groucho and duck soup. Like, kind of. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Any explanation given, though this slight predisposition is small at an individual level, its effect is amplified with large groups of people. And influence has influences how crowds spontaneously organize themselves.

[Jeff Oskay]

Weird.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I have a variation on this study. I've mentioned this before. I don't know exactly what it is, but when you're in one of those left turn only lanes.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Where the light is going to stay green to go left for about three seconds.

[Jess Hooker]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

The guy in front somehow is looking at his phone. By the time he looks up, it's just gone yellow, red. Then he goes. And you have to sit there through the cycle again.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, that just happened to me the other day. And I chased that person down and told him what I thought of the next slide.

[Jess Hooker]

You are. Talk about somebody that's gonna get shot.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. You. You have to.

[Jess Hooker]

Your road rage is out of control.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, this has become a thing because everyone's staring at their phones at the red light.

[Jess Hooker]

But also, we learned recently from Josh, this is called an Indiana left. Left.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay. So this is an Indiana thing, apparently, where you will veer out in after. When waiting for it to turn red. But you're out in the middle of the lane, correct?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

And then after the light has turned yellow or red, you go. And then maybe two more cars right through the red.

[Jeff Oskay]

And then the oncoming and those not from Indiana go. Only a holes do that.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You. You can't do more than one.

[Jess Hooker]

No.

[Jeff Oskay]

You can't even do one legally.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. You probably shouldn't be in the middle of the intersection.

[Ace Cosby]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

That's what you're supposed to do.

[Jeff Oskay]

No, it's not what you're supposed to do.

[Jess Hooker]

Watches stay behind the White House.

[Ace Cosby]

What you're supposed to do.

[Jeff Oskay]

You are.

[Ace Cosby]

You creep.

[Tom Griswold]

I had no idea. Must be from a more enlightened place. I.

[Chick McGee]

It's Ohio, Tom. I do the same thing. I had.

[Tom Griswold]

I had no idea. But it's interesting that this. I want to see what comes out of this people walking left thing. It really is kind of funny when they observe large crowds and they're kind of going to the. I wonder if fish do that.

[Jeff Oskay]

If they swim to the left a little bit.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. I. I really have trouble talking to you sometimes, you know that? As I get older, I'll tell you what fish do.

[Tom Griswold]

People ain't right.

[Chick McGee]

I was watching t. People ain't right.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, what's coming up in the news?

[Jess Hooker]

Raspberry sugar in space. We have a couple of sweet dog stories. And the world Santa Congress. We have to Visit that story.

[Chick McGee]

Mr. Speaker, I'd like to talk on behalf of my esteemed colleague Chris Kringle. There should be more than three hoes. For what?

[Tom Griswold]

A lot of hoes.

[Chick McGee]

I'm married to five.

[Jess Hooker]

Ho ho.

[Chick McGee]

Ho ho ho is what I prefer right now.

[Tom Griswold]

I want to talk to you about your money. Inflation up again. Yikes. Things are getting pretty costly out there. Maybe you're looking for some extra cash. This is where American Financing comes in. If you're paying a lot of interest on credit cards, leaning on those things to get through times right now, it may be worth experimenting a little bit by doing something interesting, which would be refinancing your place. If you own your own house, you can do a refi. You just might find that some of that equity is now in your pocket. This is what they do at American Financing, and they've been saving their customers, on average, 800 bucks a month. So see what's possible. Find out about what's going on at American Financing. No upfront fees, no pressure. They have salary based consultants that can walk you through this in about 10 minutes. Because if your house is say, five years old. It's probably valued at about 30 to 40% more than it was five years ago. 10 years ago. Well, that house is probably worth double. So see if you can take advantage of that. No pressure, no. No commitment. Just give them a call, see what they say. It might work for you, depending on your circumstance. Obviously, it's American financing. 866-889-2611. Do me a favor and go to American financing.net easier to remember, certainly. American financing.net and do a slash Bob and Tom, so they know that we sent you. Once Again, it's American financing.net NMLS 182334 NM Average savings based on borrowers who save over $200.

[Bob Kevoian]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Catch any part of the show you missed later Today on our YouTube channel?

[Tom Griswold]

You're welcome.

[Jess Hooker]

Well, thank you.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Jess Hooker at the news desk.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jeff Hoskins. Okay.

[Ace Cosby]

Howdy.

[Chick McGee]

Howdy do. There's Josh Arnold.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

Ace Cosby. Hello. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom. You know, I'm over here at the NHTSA sports desk. Chick McGee at the sports desk. Brought to you by NHTSA Speeding catches up with you. Slow down.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. My gosh. What are you. What do you got to rush home to get on your phone?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Relax.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much. Now, we were checking in with Jess Hooker. As you know, Ms. Hooker is a very fine cook. I walked in there. I, I'd gone to get some iced tea. I came back, you guys were talking about your microwave cooking.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And some of the very odd things you, you asked.

[Chick McGee]

He's bringing it on the air. He's gonna mention it on the air.

[Jess Hooker]

I made a. I made a chicken biscuit for breakfast earlier, and I was telling Jeffy how skip the microwave and use the air fryer. It's, it's a lot better that way.

[Jeff Oskay]

All right.

[Ace Cosby]

Smells delicious.

[Tom Griswold]

But you do use a microwave on occasion here.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't have a microwave at home.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, really?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. And it's honest. It's, it's, it's not some hippie crap. It's actually more. I have a small kitchen, and most of the things that I can do, I can do with the oven and the stovetop, and it's fine in the early.

[Tom Griswold]

I remember the, the early days of the microwave. A chick will back me up.

[Chick McGee]

There we go.

[Tom Griswold]

They were, they were. I mean, yeah, I know.

[Jess Hooker]

People thought crazy things.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Because you get irradiated if you stood near the thing.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, we. We didn't stand in front of the microwave.

[Tom Griswold]

Now you put in the popcorn. You just put your face right by the glass and stare at it. But I was trying to tell you that one of the first microwave cookbooks was written. Was written by the great Richard Deacon.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

The famous actor from the Dick Van Dyke Show.

[Jess Hooker]

Who was he on? Dick Van Dyke?

[Jeff Oskay]

Like the bald guy?

[Tom Griswold]

Mel Cooley.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

He was great on that show.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

But he's an expert chef.

[Jess Hooker]

All right. Wait, he was an expert chef or he wrote a book about microwave food?

[Chick McGee]

Well, I.

[Tom Griswold]

He was a very fine cook.

[Chick McGee]

He weighed 500 pounds. Of course he was an expert.

[Tom Griswold]

He's great. And he was also on Leave it to Beaver. But yeah, Richard Deacon.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Sadly, gone.

[Ace Cosby]

He wrote the very first one.

[Tom Griswold]

He worked early on. He was a.

[Jeff Oskay]

Why are you asking follow up questions?

[Tom Griswold]

There you go, right there.

[Jeff Oskay]

Here.

[Tom Griswold]

Richard Deacon's Microwave Cookery.

[Jeff Oskay]

There's a couple.

[Jess Hooker]

That's not even possible to cook in the microwave.

[Jeff Oskay]

There's a cherry pie, Cherry's jubilee or whatever the hell.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

In the microwave.

[Bob Kevoian]

Right.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the magic of Richard Deacon, my friend.

[Jess Hooker]

Show me a Dixie paper plate.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

With some nacho chips and shredded cheese on top.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's ridiculous. I. In a metal dish. Oh, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

That's not.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a serving dishevel.

[Chick McGee]

We'll just move on. Your sock pick. Deacon,

[Tom Griswold]

one of the great characters in the history of sitcoms. Now we have. And you've ever heard someone says they have the full Mel Coulee?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I hear you say it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You're the only one ever said it's

[Tom Griswold]

a common parlance among certain sophisticated people.

[Jess Hooker]

Actually, I think I heard it actually on Seinfeld recently on an episode I watched, Jerry or George, one says the Mel Couley. They really do. Honestly.

[Chick McGee]

All right, well, maybe.

[Jess Hooker]

Well, no, I think so.

[Chick McGee]

That's one.

[Tom Griswold]

As I like to say, the. The benefits of a classical education.

[Jeff Oskay]

Which you stole from Die Hard.

[Tom Griswold]

Of course I didn't steal it. I referenced.

[Jeff Oskay]

Is from Die Hard. Yeah. What?

[Chick McGee]

Alan Rickman says it to Yippee Kaye.

[Tom Griswold]

My favorite line of diaries.

[Jeff Oskay]

When he.

[Tom Griswold]

When he. He makes up all of the organizations that he's affiliated with. Oh, the Revolutionary Guard, blah, blah. He just rattles them off.

[Chick McGee]

The guy they eventually kill in the office.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that guy.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

The cokehead.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Is that who you're.

[Tom Griswold]

No, he's talking to him and he makes up all those names yeah, yeah. And the cokehead guy was.

[Chick McGee]

Here we go.

[Tom Griswold]

He was in breaking Break. No. Yeah. Breaking away. He's the frat boy.

[Chick McGee]

Huh?

[Tom Griswold]

There you go.

[Jeff Oskay]

The world's great paperclip stacker of all time.

[Tom Griswold]

You guys know that you brought up obscure stuff. I just.

[Jess Hooker]

We're talking about biscuits. All. We're talking. That's it. Microwave biscuits.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

All right. How about a dog story? A dog was rescued from Britain's tallest mountain after apparently eating discarded cannabis.

[Jeff Oskay]

And that is a terrible cookbook. How to microwave your dog. I think it only sold like four copies.

[Tom Griswold]

Was the dog's name Biscuit

[Jess Hooker]

dog trainer Christina Bloomy?

[Jeff Oskay]

My mom calls it Bloomies.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. B L U H M E. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

What happened to her?

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, you guys don't think that's funny?

[Jeff Oskay]

I do.

[Jess Hooker]

Geez, are you all the dumb names you make me read Tom. And I say Christina blew me.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh yeah. When was that? Yeah, see, that's the.

[Ace Cosby]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I should have had one of the fellas read that.

[Chick McGee]

You just need a little help.

[Tom Griswold]

That doesn't really work.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'm sorry. What was her name?

[Jess Hooker]

Christina Bloomy.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, was it your birthday?

[Jess Hooker]

I mean.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

We just is right.

[Tom Griswold]

We should have jumped all over the. It is Blu.

[Chick McGee]

H and me sitting here waiting for a bus. You're right.

[Tom Griswold]

You think it's Blummy?

[Jess Hooker]

I don't.

[Jeff Oskay]

No. She said bloomy, never.

[Jess Hooker]

Never with you would it be that

[Chick McGee]

it could be Bloom.

[Jess Hooker]

So that's how I read it originally was Bloom.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, but it is Blu.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, that is funny. Jesse went, I bet it's Bloom. But I know what he wants. And you delivered and we sat here.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I thought the fellas would pick up on it.

[Jeff Oskay]

Our bad.

[Tom Griswold]

Later I wrote Ms. Bloomy.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, why didn't you make her a

[Ace Cosby]

missing

[Tom Griswold]

Then it would stop.

[Jess Hooker]

Christina Blumey was halfway up Mount Ben Nevis in Scotland.

[Tom Griswold]

By the way, what a weird name for a mountain.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, that's what's weird in this story.

[Jeff Oskay]

Did you see?

[Jess Hooker]

I swear to God, it's only Tuesday.

[Chick McGee]

I know. Try 40 years with us. I know. I'm very aware.

[Jess Hooker]

She was halfway up the mountain with her black Labrador named Tokyo and he collapsed on the trail. Oh no. Yeah. Volunteers with the mountain rescue team happened to be in the area where they were able to carry the 55 pound dog down a 4044413 foot peak on a stretcher.

[Jeff Oskay]

Don't take your dog on that height.

[Jess Hooker]

That's too high.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, but what's weird. Keep reading. This is the Weird part coming up.

[Jess Hooker]

Ms. Bloomy said veterinarians believe Tokyo had ingested cannabis left on the trail, but she has made a full recovery.

[Tom Griswold]

So that's what I don't understand.

[Chick McGee]

Who would leave it on the trail?

[Tom Griswold]

Why are people throwing away their cannabis all over the.

[Jess Hooker]

I wonder if a mountain ranger was coming. They just threw it, get rid of it. I don't know.

[Jeff Oskay]

Fell out or.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Potheads don't always think logically.

[Jess Hooker]

Well, here's the thing. So when you are grinding up marijuana and you tap out your grinder or you tap out your one hitter, they could eat that, right?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, but that's not.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. You wouldn't think it would be too much like, for a dog that big.

[Ace Cosby]

For a dog that big, it had to eat.

[Jeff Oskay]

Maybe they were in gummy form.

[Ace Cosby]

You know what if it was a package of gummies that fell out?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

That would totally.

[Tom Griswold]

That was. We had a thing. Veterinarians, I want to say, in Colorado had gone to some length to get people not to leave gummies.

[Jess Hooker]

You gotta lock it up or a

[Tom Griswold]

dog could get at them.

[Jeff Oskay]

Them or a child.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, well, I know that they have to.

[Chick McGee]

Or me, I'm trying to quit. Or they.

[Tom Griswold]

They make them. So they're not. You're not supposed to make them, I guess, attractive colors so they look like real candy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

I was at the comedy club the other day and a friend of ours, David Brooks, had a handful of gummies Gummy bears, right?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

And. And I said, what do you got over there? And he said, I got gummy bears. I was like, let me get one of those. And I popped two in my mouth and I went, hey, man, are these gummy bears legit or is this safe to eat? I was terrified for a split second that I had had marijuana gummy bears and didn't ask. And he was like, God, I would never do that.

[Tom Griswold]

You're not getting dosed like back in the early days of the grateful day?

[Bob Kevoian]

No.

[Jess Hooker]

He was like, I would never do that to you. Yeah. He's a wonderful guy. Great gummy bears.

[Tom Griswold]

And he has one of my favorite jokes of all time. Yes. I. I won't. I won't try to give it justice. I can't do it. But it's one of my favorite jokes.

[Chick McGee]

What kind of a man's carrying around gummy bears?

[Jess Hooker]

He was hungry. Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

What are you gonna do? He wanted a snack.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Well, what. How are you gonna get filled up on a gummy bear? I've had three and I might have four chick.

[Tom Griswold]

I Don't know if you had the same experience, but we. We both chick and I. I have. One of my two dogs is terrified of thunder and. And of fireworks.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Y. And I got. It's their dog biscuits, but they're thc.

[Jess Hooker]

Cbd probably. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That's.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, wait.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I'm sorry.

[Chick McGee]

Mellower out.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But to mellow out the dog.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Does it help?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Good.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Have you tried any?

[Tom Griswold]

Me?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, I wouldn't eat a dog biscuit. B. I don't take drugs anymore. I retired.

[Chick McGee]

I don't take drugs anymore. I don't take them any less.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

At that point.

[Tom Griswold]

But I remember there was a warning about not. And you'd always see that jackass. It. You'd go to some event. There's some guy giving his dog beer

[Chick McGee]

or something blowing smoke in their face.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And unfortunately those people can't be shot. But that's. Loosen up the laws a little bit.

[Chick McGee]

Poor little.

[Tom Griswold]

Do we have a picture of this little doggie?

[Chick McGee]

It's a 55 pound Labrador.

[Tom Griswold]

He's a little dog. He's a good boy.

[Jess Hooker]

Black lab named Tokyo.

[Tom Griswold]

Love those black labs laps. Nice soft ears.

[Chick McGee]

If you don't have a lab, get a golden.

[Tom Griswold]

Take a black lab. No, you. When you take a black lab, you put your hands over their ears or fold them back like this. And they think I'm a seal. They look just like seals.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, my God bless. Look, look at her head. Look at her eyes.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, man.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, she's high.

[Tom Griswold]

Looks like Willie when I picked him up from that fish show a few years ago. Poor little doggy.

[Chick McGee]

I'm moving, but my legs aren't doing anything.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'm flying.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, he's probably thinking, I sure am walking slow. Do you think dogs think they're flying by the way, when they stick their head out a car window?

[Jess Hooker]

I hope so.

[Chick McGee]

Have you had a gummy bear this morning?

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, we have. Do you know that today is a national special day?

[Jess Hooker]

I do know. Are we gonna celebrate?

[Chick McGee]

Is it Flag Day?

[Tom Griswold]

It's National Nude Day.

[Chick McGee]

National Nude Day.

[Tom Griswold]

It's for nudists.

[Jeff Oskay]

Nudie Magazine Day. Nudie Magazine Day.

[Tom Griswold]

National Nudist Day. We'll get to that when we return to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Bob Kevoian]

Add to or continue the conversation. Check out the Bob and Tom show on Facebook. Get the [e-mail]. this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Thank O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Jess Hooker at the news desk.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jeff Oskay.

[Ace Cosby]

Hey, man.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, there's Josh Arnold.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby. Hey, man, I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Chick McGee. We just had a story about a. It was a black lab, a Labrador retriever was going up the biggest mountain with a crew in. In England and apparently got a hold of some cannabis products and they had to carry the dog down the hill. It had to have been gummies. That's the only thing that makes sense. Yeah, they said someone must have just thrown them away.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, or it fell out of their backpack.

[Jeff Oskay]

Right?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Poor little guy. But, and again, I did get.

[Jess Hooker]

Get.

[Tom Griswold]

As I mentioned, this. What is it?

[Ace Cosby]

The.

[Tom Griswold]

The cdb.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Infused dog biscuits for my one dog that is frightened by thunder.

[Chick McGee]

Well, you let him hear Charlie Daniels, man.

[Bob Kevoian]

What.

[Chick McGee]

What are you talking about?

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, IBCD is.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. What's it called?

[Jeff Oskay]

Cbd.

[Tom Griswold]

Whatever it is, you're fine. Yeah, it's all drugged out. And my, my. I knew something was wrong when the doorbell rang and someone delivered a large pizza with sausages.

[Jeff Oskay]

Could only be one person.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I went over to Mr. Mr. Fletcher.

[Chick McGee]

How did he dial the phone?

[Tom Griswold]

And I said, fletcher, did you order. Did you order this cheese pizza with sausages? And he said yes.

[Ace Cosby]

Was he in watching the wizard of Oz time to the Dark side of the Moon.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes. That's a good high.

[Tom Griswold]

Then he goes, I got a sober up before my. A good high before my flying lessons. What? Okay, let's go back to the news desk with Jess Hooker sitting in for Chrissy Lee. What's going on?

[Jess Hooker]

On dozens of Santas, Mrs. Clauses and elves from around the world gathered in Denmark for the annual World Santa Claus Congress. Ah, the event which marks its 70th anniversary next year. Which means this year would be. That's how Tom wrote it. Again with it marks the 70th anniversary this year.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Jess Hooker]

So Tom doesn't want us to say 69. The gathering offers a chance for professional Santa to swap stories, compare beards, sharpen

[Jeff Oskay]

their craft and have filthiest Santa or ever.

[Chick McGee]

No, I had this one kid. You're not going to believe it.

[Ace Cosby]

I want to go to the elf party. That's where the real fun.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, boy.

[Jess Hooker]

It's like the band kids.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

They also compete in contests before the Christmas rush. So I'm guessing whatever Santas have to go through to be good Santa Clauses.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, good. Yeah. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

The pack.

[Tom Griswold]

Wonder how diverse it is.

[Jeff Oskay]

Probably somewhat.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

You've got your black Santas and your.

[Tom Griswold]

You know what they call Santa Claus in England?

[Jeff Oskay]

Father Christmas.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Is that it?

[Jeff Oskay]

You want to say brother Christmas?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah. More than anything. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Every.

[Chick McGee]

Every Christmas season. Brother Christmas. No.

[Jeff Oskay]

Ace, Is it funny they said no.

[Tom Griswold]

That doesn't mean he speaks for all folks of his ill.

[Chick McGee]

Let's turn down about 30% on the folks as well.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay?

[Chick McGee]

Can we. Can we do that?

[Ace Cosby]

I have a question.

[Tom Griswold]

I have a technical question.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. What do you call a group of Santas?

[Jeff Oskay]

H. What would you guys go with?

[Jess Hooker]

A jolly.

[Jeff Oskay]

A jol.

[Tom Griswold]

I like that.

[Ace Cosby]

That's good. Jolly wins.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

A clause of Santa. No, a jingle of Santa's.

[Jeff Oskay]

Jingle is okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I think jolly's great. You nailed that. Good for you.

[Jeff Oskay]

We're going to take that and hang it right on the fridge.

[Chick McGee]

That's right. Isn't that nice? Like a real person.

[Jeff Oskay]

You said word. Words that I enjoy.

[Chick McGee]

I've never been more surprised.

[Jeff Oskay]

You simply. Kindness just doesn't come naturally to you.

[Chick McGee]

Doesn't live there. It certainly doesn't.

[Tom Griswold]

A beard of Santa's. A belly of Santa's. What? I think a jolly is genius.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay, good.

[Jeff Oskay]

Very good. Look at that jolly of Santas. And they're all just smoking. And I'd like to think that the actual Santa zooms in. Welcome all my sisters. This year I obviously can't be at every shopping mall.

[Tom Griswold]

And yeah, that'd be a great scene in a movie where someone is being in a chase scene and they run into a hotel and everyone there is Santa.

[Jeff Oskay]

That would be fun. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you suppose they stay in character the whole time?

[Jess Hooker]

No, I think this is where. Where it's safe for them to be themselves.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it is.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

You know what? I bet the real Santa does go

[Tom Griswold]

a lot of her, but no one knows he's there.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, it's like the Undercover boss of.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh.

[Jeff Oskay]

Holiday season.

[Chick McGee]

I'm guessing a lot of shop talk, though. Probably.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, probably.

[Tom Griswold]

I bet they get more done with the congress of Santas than we do in archive.

[Jeff Oskay]

I have no doubt they're willing to reach across the aisle to the elves

[Chick McGee]

and probably have products aimed at the Santa. Now how hot waterproof pants.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you like your Mrs. Claus's to be frumpy or do you like the hot Mrs. Claus?

[Jeff Oskay]

I like a. I'm gonna say milfy Mrs. Claus. So not necessarily frumpy. But I don't want a 26 year old Mrs. Claus.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I agree.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

I think that Josh and I should do middle age Mr. And Mrs. Claus this year.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, that's. Yeah, let's do it.

[Jess Hooker]

Let's do that. Yeah, that's fine. Fun. Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Because I'm. Yeah, I'm starting to gray.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a good idea.

[Jeff Oskay]

That'll be fun.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll look forward to that.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. We can start charging people now. They can book us.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And then, then we could have someone from our staff be an elf.

[Jess Hooker]

Jeff has an elf outfit.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, yeah. I'll be the elf.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, he already has.

[Chick McGee]

Where did you get an elf outfit?

[Jess Hooker]

We have a picture. You don't remember this?

[Jeff Oskay]

I don't either.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Jeff Oskay]

What were you doing?

[Ace Cosby]

I was an elf on a shelf.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, I do remember. Yes. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay. I'll get the picture at the break. We can put it up.

[Tom Griswold]

What else is going on?

[Jess Hooker]

Well, let's see. An increasing number of civil wedding ceremonies in Ecuador are including pets as official witnesses.

[Chick McGee]

Is that right?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. The change follows the country's recent authorization of pet friendly weddings. Recognizing the important role that companion animals play in many modern families, their new

[Jeff Oskay]

cat president signed this.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, right. And the dog secretary of State and.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

What the hell.

[Jess Hooker]

Most other countries in Latin America still require human witnesses for civil weddings.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that seems like.

[Ace Cosby]

Hey, your. Your best man's over there humping your father in law's leg.

[Tom Griswold]

If anyone objects to this marriage, lift your leg or forever hold your pee. Are your dogs leg lifters or do they crouch?

[Chick McGee]

Both of them like catchers? They crouch.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, but they're both girls.

[Chick McGee]

But they're, I think girls. Dogs do that, right?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, most girls. I've never seen a girl dog lift its leg, but I have seen a boy dog crouch.

[Jess Hooker]

Our boy dog crouches.

[Jeff Oskay]

Gotcha.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And I neither one of them, none of the dogs I've ever had do that. Scooching away at the ground at the end. They. No, none of them do that.

[Jess Hooker]

I like to cover their.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, both mine do that.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

When they're finished with their serious business, do they know how much they've got stored? Like if you go on a three mile walk with your dog and after two and a half miles he stops and he still got some in there. I'm wondering, are they doling it out?

[Ace Cosby]

My dog the other day took a three crap walk.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, wow.

[Ace Cosby]

And I was furious.

[Jeff Oskay]

Wow.

[Ace Cosby]

Like. And the worst part was I wasn't even three minutes into the walk when the first one came. It was one of those debating going back.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

And dropping.

[Jess Hooker]

Dropping it off because it's so close.

[Ace Cosby]

I was like, okay, well, I got one done. No, two more on a one mile walk. Like, it was like, like saving it up for me as like showing me

[Jeff Oskay]

who's boss with P. I do think they dole it out.

[Tom Griswold]

That's what I was. I was thinking of P. I always take at least four bags.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

They just have learned you don't have

[Jeff Oskay]

to bag the pe.

[Chick McGee]

No, you don't have to pick.

[Tom Griswold]

But I'm. I'm trying. You're trying to get back to the Europe.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, I have my bags on a. Like a. A reel on my leash. And you pull them off. So I have like 300 bags with

[Tom Griswold]

me at all times until you don't do. You go out and all of a sudden.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Everything runs out. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And then you're. You're three miles from your house and.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, Jeff plans ahead, I'm sure.

[Tom Griswold]

I got caught up the other day.

[Chick McGee]

Of course you.

[Tom Griswold]

You did.

[Chick McGee]

You forgot the dog when he went

[Jess Hooker]

out for a walk.

[Chick McGee]

I was doing out here, so what was I doing?

[Tom Griswold]

So what I did was I took. Because you can't use the same bag because it's already. You've already tied it off. So I just took the top of the bag and used that and gripped

[Jess Hooker]

it and carried it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And it leaked out. So when I got home, I had to take a toothbrush and clean my nails.

[Jess Hooker]

No, what you do is, is you. You tie a knot. Knot at the bag and then you have the start of another bag.

[Tom Griswold]

No, you don't though, because you can't turn it inside out. See, it's complicated. No, my.

[Chick McGee]

My Australian shepherd, she had a 1 minute 32 second urination the other day.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, my gosh.

[Chick McGee]

That was way too long. Right. That, that, that checked. Yeah. I need to have her.

[Tom Griswold]

Has she been inside for 12 hours?

[Chick McGee]

No. That much?

[Bob Kevoian]

No.

[Ace Cosby]

You gotta let her out more than

[Jeff Oskay]

once every two days.

[Chick McGee]

Maybe I should. Maybe that's what the problem is.

[Jeff Oskay]

Stop giving her big.

[Chick McGee]

But, you know, she's a good girl. She held it. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Good for her.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, on a different note, let's talk about nutrition. Brick House nutrition. Their team of physicians has come up with a weight loss program. By program, I mean it's a supplement. It's called Lean. This is not an injectable lean. L E A N. The studied ingredients in Lean have been shown to help lower your blood sugar. The idea burned fat, convert it to energy Curb your appetite. Curb those cravings. You are not as hungry. Lean is not for the casual dieter, by the way. This is for someone that wants to lose 10 pounds or more. You can get started with 20% off and a free rush shipping if you act today. It's takelean.com that's L E A N takelean.com Enter the code Tom for the discount and the aforementioned rush shipping. Once again, the promo code [e-mail] Weight loss results, of course, are going to vary. These products and statements have not been evaluated by the fda. And Lean is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease or condition. It's about weight loss. It's a supplement and it's called Lean L E A N. Visit [e-mail] now. We're going to be right back. Coming up, we have an unusual thing in the world of perhaps aliens in outer space. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios at the news desk. It's Jess Hooker.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jeff Oskay.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Yes. There's Josh Arnold.

[Jeff Oskay]

Did you guys have some of the cheesecake in the green room?

[Ace Cosby]

What?

[Chick McGee]

We have what?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, there's none. I was lying to you all just now.

[Chick McGee]

Ah, there's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick mcgee. You sold it very well, though, acting. Ah, hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm an actor. It's good to see you. Let's move forward here in the world of news. Jess Hooker sitting in for Christy Lee. What else is happening today?

[Jess Hooker]

July 14th is National Nude Day.

[Jeff Oskay]

It is?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. The holiday, which has its origins in New Zealand, is designated to promote the naturist movement.

[Chick McGee]

All right, what's with New Zealand today, huh?

[Tom Griswold]

And I don't know. I don't approve. I don't approve of this naturist word.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, I prefer naturalist for the naked people and naturist for people who like to be in nature.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I prefer nudist.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, I do, too. You're right. If I had to choose, I would go nudist. There's no shame in that. There's not calling them nudists.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

The earliest recorded organized nudist club in the Western sense was established in 1891 in British India and was called the Fellowship of the Naked Trust.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, I like that very much.

[Tom Griswold]

The fact that it has fellowship in it. This sounds like, okay, you know, a little ass pounding Going on.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, at least you kept it subtle.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

What I was gonna say. So let's dial it down.

[Jeff Oskay]

So the Fellowship of the Ring. When you watch that movie Gandalf and His Money with the Hobbits.

[Chick McGee]

Is that what I'm. Billboard

[Jess Hooker]

Nudism found its true cultural powerhouse in Germany in the late 1890s, spreading throughout Europe and the US in the early 20th century.

[Chick McGee]

I have beer on my schwein sticker Bend.

[Jess Hooker]

Your Herman Franklin was a noted.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hey, Benny, you want to get dressed, pal?

[Jess Hooker]

And would reportedly take air baths in the nude by the open windows of his room.

[Chick McGee]

He was our 12th president.

[Tom Griswold]

So if you're going to celebrate National Nude Day, probably for the most people do it after work.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Although can you go into your boss's office office and go, I am a nudist and I would find it discriminatory if on National Nude Day you did not allow me to work at my cubicle nude to celebrate.

[Tom Griswold]

I think only. I think only if it's your religion. I think if you say it's part of my religion that we have to be nude every Tuesday, then you're going to suddenly get civil rights guys on your side.

[Jess Hooker]

There's a dress code and you signed a contract.

[Jeff Oskay]

What if it's very, very casual, But

[Tom Griswold]

I think the religious aspect of it would supersede some earth born dress code.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes, I was.

[Tom Griswold]

My Lord, My Lord, My Lord says I got to be nude on Tuesdays. That's fine.

[Jess Hooker]

No. Have you. You've been to a nudist colony or you guys were invited maybe?

[Chick McGee]

We were invited many times.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

To host a. It's called Nudes of Popping.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, my gosh.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. And I do you. You actually. I have not stand up there.

[Tom Griswold]

No, No, I never have.

[Jess Hooker]

But Pat did. Did Pat do it?

[Jeff Oskay]

Pat did do one and then DJ Dangler, comedian.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Jeff Oskay]

Friend of ours did it and he actually did it in the new.

[Chick McGee]

And they give you the choice of being naked or not as you're performing. But I know. Thank you very much. I. I'm not that comfortable seeing other people naked.

[Jeff Oskay]

No.

[Ace Cosby]

One of the first porn mags I ever saw had a thing from nudes.

[Chick McGee]

A poppin Nudes A pop.

[Ace Cosby]

And as 12 year old Jeff, I was like, one of these days I'm

[Jeff Oskay]

going to be there.

[Ace Cosby]

I'm going to go to noon because it's near here.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, I had no idea of that.

[Chick McGee]

I don't think it's. I don't think it's two hours away.

[Jeff Oskay]

It's not Too far from anywhere. It really.

[Ace Cosby]

It's actually right by my lake house.

[Jess Hooker]

Is it really?

[Ace Cosby]

It's not far.

[Jess Hooker]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

Look how happy he is.

[Tom Griswold]

I know.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh no.

[Ace Cosby]

I'm a never nude.

[Jeff Oskay]

Have you ever been to nudes? A flopping. It's a naked belly flop contest. Oh, I would funny as a either.

[Jess Hooker]

That'd be painful.

[Chick McGee]

You rupture yourself.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, it is national Nude day, so make note of it. Do you think it was wise to do it in the heat of the summer? I mean.

[Chick McGee]

Well, you don't want to do it on Christmas Eve, do you?

[Jeff Oskay]

I mean, fall or spring maybe or something.

[Tom Griswold]

I would think maybe.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, look what happened to Rush with all his T shirts. You want to go the opposite?

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Okay. He almost died.

[Tom Griswold]

So it's like sweaty ass day.

[Jess Hooker]

Have you ever been to a nude resort?

[Jeff Oskay]

I just watched Tom said it. I just watched Jake McGee yawn and shake his head

[Ace Cosby]

no. Have you?

[Jess Hooker]

No. I would just. Would you go. Would you go to a nude resort?

[Jeff Oskay]

I would maybe perform at one. Yeah. But I wouldn't get naked.

[Jess Hooker]

You wouldn't?

[Jeff Oskay]

No. I'm not as brave.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I hear things about a towel is very important.

[Jeff Oskay]

I guess almost mandatory sit down everywhere.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Someone was. Maybe it was Godwin is telling us about the nude cruise.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

And yeah, the idea had to carry a towel around to sit on. So you don't, you know, you don't want to.

[Jess Hooker]

So you're more bothered by seeing other people naked than by you being naked.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I'm bothered by both.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Very much so. Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Are the towels white?

[Jess Hooker]

Oh man.

[Jeff Oskay]

And skid mark to hell.

[Ace Cosby]

Is that what you're.

[Chick McGee]

You wanna. Would you rather have it make you happy with like an off brown?

[Tom Griswold]

Just saying. You go the black.

[Jeff Oskay]

Most people know how to wipe.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, I'll bet someone listening right now as a has a tale of a nudist cruise gone wrong.

[Jeff Oskay]

That is always a weird day. It happens once every, I don't know, five months where you. You've left the house and 45 minutes later you go. You know, I could have done a better job.

[Chick McGee]

I should have.

[Jeff Oskay]

What happened?

[Chick McGee]

I should have paid attention.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

This is why you got the bidet.

[Chick McGee]

Take some time.

[Tom Griswold]

Home field advantage.

[Chick McGee]

Right?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, let's move forward here, Ms. Hooker. What else have you got over there?

[Jess Hooker]

This is a little disturbing. A woman in Japan has been arrested for allegedly sewing her roommate's lips shut. Police in Koga said 49 year old Masey Sakurai had used a needle and thread to sew shut the lips of the woman she was living with.

[Chick McGee]

This is rough.

[Jess Hooker]

Leaving the 42 year old unable to eat or speak.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, those lips.

[Chick McGee]

Josh looking to Tom for approval.

[Jeff Oskay]

Didn't get it.

[Chick McGee]

Didn't get it. How that would hurt. She must have been. They must have knocked her out.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, somebody's a good sleeper.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

They. She.

[Tom Griswold]

You're right, Chick. She must. Must have been knocked out.

[Jess Hooker]

Japan Today reports that the victim escaped the following day.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome to Japan.

[Jess Hooker]

Today she escaped the following day and ran to a nearby shop where she handed employees a note reading. Please help me. Okay. I don't want to be a jerk here, but like, couldn't you just get a pair of scissors and. And snip your lips open?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes, but maybe it takes if you're

[Tom Griswold]

being held prisoner, which is what it sounds like.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. This sounds terrible.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, was it because her roommate was talking too much?

[Jess Hooker]

I don't know. Following Ms. Sakurai's arrest that they are investigating the motive and circumstances behind the assault?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

What would she do if she had really bad gas?

[Chick McGee]

What?

[Jess Hooker]

So her butt shut.

[Tom Griswold]

So her butt shut.

[Jeff Oskay]

I see. So if it. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Didn't we have a story of somebody super glued their ass cheeks together or something? I thought we had a story.

[Jess Hooker]

A woman. Woman had found out her husband was cheating and she sewed his ass cheeks together.

[Chick McGee]

Yes or no?

[Jess Hooker]

Super glued him.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Super glued him. Oh boy.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, and then we had that guy two weeks ago who didn't have a condom and tried to use super glue.

[Jess Hooker]

What?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. He's not alive.

[Jeff Oskay]

Killed him. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

How does it kill you?

[Jeff Oskay]

We just did the story I missed

[Ace Cosby]

the week before last. Sorry.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. I must have missed it.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, he died.

[Chick McGee]

I guess I also missed the dead part.

[Jeff Oskay]

Right. I did too.

[Ace Cosby]

Or, or maybe that was left out of the article.

[Chick McGee]

That sounds more like that.

[Tom Griswold]

That may have been an edit.

[Chick McGee]

This is really, really funny. And we don't want to say he's dead because we're laughing.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, so I, I. You have to wonder, is this, this thing in Japan? So the one roommate sews the other one's mouth shut?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you think it could be part of a, like, dominatrix thing?

[Jess Hooker]

Maybe. I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Because the problem would be your safe word. Can't be.

[Chick McGee]

So didn't the gimp.

[Jess Hooker]

That wouldn't work.

[Chick McGee]

Didn't the gimp from a Pulp Fiction had a. Have a hood with a padlock zipper across his mouth?

[Jeff Oskay]

Definitely the zipper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who do you think that guy was.

[Ace Cosby]

Man, 25 dies after using super glue to seal his penis shut instead of a condom in a drug fueled romp with his girlfriend.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay. So it wasn't from the glue.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. The drugs may have had something. Yeah, hence. Hence the edit that was made.

[Chick McGee]

Well, but like I always thought romp was reserved for like an Annette funeral movie. Frankie and Annette, they're on a beach time romp. No, this is a drug fueled romp. Wow.

[Jess Hooker]

No. So he would. He like didn't absorb the glue and that's what killed the him. Right. Or maybe that is.

[Ace Cosby]

That's.

[Jeff Oskay]

I.

[Ace Cosby]

That's how I understood it. But I could be wrong.

[Jeff Oskay]

Craziness.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

But we have the story of the guy before who chopped the whole thing off and he lived. Yeah, that's crazy.

[Tom Griswold]

Here's the version we read on the air from Yahoo. And it. We had the death end there.

[Jeff Oskay]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

It said a man has died after using a strong glue to quote, seal his penis because he didn't have a condom.

[Jeff Oskay]

Did we get to this? Maybe we didn't get to it.

[Ace Cosby]

I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

Remember?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, here's the story.

[Chick McGee]

Somebody stealing their penis.

[Tom Griswold]

His name was Salman Mirza. S A L M N. Like Salman Rushdie. Salman Mirza, 25, had reunited with his ex fiance for what they describe as a drug fueled romp at a hotel. He decided to slather the epoxy adhesive on his genitals to avoid getting her pregnant. An untamed police source said the pair were known to mix whitener with the epoxy to inhale for a quote unquote kick.

[Jeff Oskay]

That sounds like that's the issue there.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

He's survived by his younger brother Elmer. Man, he sealed his male member with.

[Jess Hooker]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that stupid?

[Jeff Oskay]

Very.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, do you remember this?

[Ace Cosby]

We had a new story deal with the baby.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you remember the news story? This was more than a decade ago. Company was developing a. A condom like device that was actually a liquid that was poured on the member.

[Jeff Oskay]

No way.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

And it formed a.

[Chick McGee]

Sounds familiar.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Like a magic shell for your wiener.

[Chick McGee]

Exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't. I don't think it ever took off. I'll see if I can dig up the store.

[Chick McGee]

Sounds like something Wiley Coyote would buy from Acme.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And I'd be concerned about what. What temperature does one.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, that's true too. I mean if you've ever poured hot wax on anything like that, that hurts.

[Tom Griswold]

If you're pouring hot wax on that, by the way, that's a very specific weird thing to do. Call you call a psychiatrist.

[Jeff Oskay]

You've been on Real Sex at some. Some.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, burned the house down when I was. Hi, Dick Fryer.

[Chick McGee]

I'm your host, Dick Fryer.

[Tom Griswold]

Dick Fryer, I'm your host for the show Weird stuff that people do with their male members. Do we have anything else coming up in the news? Are we just. All. Have we just.

[Jess Hooker]

No more wiener news.

[Jeff Oskay]

That Mouthstone Shut story is nuts.

[Tom Griswold]

I know, but wouldn't you have to be either Anesthetized?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes, but it sounds like she was captive, so maybe she was even. Yeah, it said while she was sleeping, though, didn't it?

[Jess Hooker]

It did.

[Ace Cosby]

Hell of a sleeper.

[Jeff Oskay]

He must have been out.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't there some movie where they do that?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Nope. It does. It doesn't say she was asleep.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, okay. I mean, she may have been a prisoner of some sort.

[Chick McGee]

Well, how do you hold.

[Jeff Oskay]

I thought they were roommates.

[Chick McGee]

Put her head.

[Jess Hooker]

They are roommates.

[Jeff Oskay]

But it also says she escaped.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm wondering if it was a. A dominatrix thing.

[Jeff Oskay]

Thing.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

I'm going to put your head in a vice if you don't stop squirming around.

[Tom Griswold]

But, I mean, sewing the lip shut would really hurt.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, that's got to be very, very painful.

[Jess Hooker]

Yikes.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. I guess she. But according to what I read, she's okay.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, she is.

[Tom Griswold]

She's doing so.

[Jess Hooker]

She's okay.

[Jeff Oskay]

And she's hanging on by a thread. See?

[Tom Griswold]

So. So thread. This is what we do here.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, I know.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. It's not what we do. Okay,

[Jeff Oskay]

we'll come back to it. Let's put a pin in it for now.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay? What do you got over there, Chick?

[Chick McGee]

Ah, when you speed while driving, do I have to remind you you have less time to react to whatever comes across your path? A sharp turn could take you by surprise. Another car could turn out in front of you. A truck could break, suddenly injuring you and the other driver. A cyclist could enter the road ahead, or a pedestrian could be walking their dog. And your foot on the gas might lead to a tragedy. You may not think any of these things could happen to you, but you won't see them coming until they happen. And that's too late. When you're speeding, you don't have time to. Course correct. You don't have time to stop. And it only takes an instant for disaster to strike. The speed limit isn't just there to protect you. It's there to protect your passengers, other drivers, cyclists, pedestrians, and everyone who shares the road. So slow down. Obey the Law help keep everyone around you safe. Speeding does catch up with you. Paid for by Nitza.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you, Nitza. So the guy that did this to his male member with the crazy glue. Yeah, he. He did die eventually. Yeah, but he did, you know, he was able to do some stuff and he said to his girlfriend, hey baby, I'm stuck on you. Little Huey Lewis for that

[Ace Cosby]

Lewis for that ass.

[Tom Griswold]

These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Bob Kevoian]

This is the Bob and Tom Show. Reach us toll free at 1-888-bobtom1 [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. The O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. At the Newsdale desk. It's Jess Hooker.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jeff. Jeff. Oscar. Yeah, yeah. There's Josh Arnold.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick McGee. Hello. Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

I got a question.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, we got answers.

[Tom Griswold]

You had the news story about this guy in Kissimmee, Florida, the vacuum cleaner. He's in his front yard apparently or whatever with a vacuum cleaner in the front yard.

[Jess Hooker]

He was in a resort near Disney World and he.

[Tom Griswold]

And he. He plea. He was pleading guilty to using the vacuum cleaner to. He was having sex with a vacuum cleaner.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Kind of not what we expected, but

[Tom Griswold]

would there be a name for that? I was.

[Chick McGee]

What?

[Jeff Oskay]

Maybe.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, like someone who does that there. That. That peculiar fetish, if you will like suction porn or.

[Jeff Oskay]

You have any suggestions?

[Tom Griswold]

I'm thinking, I don't know what are the most famous vacuum.

[Jess Hooker]

Like a. Oh, so it's just vacuums. Not all appliances, I think.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Abyssalist.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, you could. It could be. Well, he's Abyssalist.

[Chick McGee]

A Kirby file. Aren't Kirby's the one that handed down between generations? Yeah, you can. You can replace the motor in them, I guess.

[Tom Griswold]

You know a. Well, I mean, Hoover. It's already right there. A Hooverist. A vacuumist.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hooverian.

[Chick McGee]

They say Hoover the Hoover the carpet in England.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, I like Hooverian.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that. That sounds too much like Dr. Seuss, I think.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

A Jack Vacian.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Or would it be Vac. Jackian?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, I'm gonna go vac Jackie.

[Tom Griswold]

He's a well known vac Jackie.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, really?

[Tom Griswold]

Is that near Armenian?

[Chick McGee]

No, no, no.

[Tom Griswold]

Now we have some space news that's really kind of cool.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yes, we do.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, I think it's cool.

[Chick McGee]

Are we going back to the moon again?

[Jess Hooker]

Scientists have detected a so called raspberry sugar on dust clouds in the Milky Way. Ah, yes. Erythorulose, a simple sugar naturally found in raspberries, is used in fake tanning lotions. Also was found in an enormous cloud of dust and gas in our galaxy.

[Jeff Oskay]

It's. And this stuff is found in fake tanning lotions.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Our president has just said, go there now.

[Chick McGee]

Let's go get it.

[Jess Hooker]

A simple sugar appears to be produced through chemical reactions on tiny interstellar dust grains.

[Jeff Oskay]

Weird.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Huh?

[Tom Griswold]

And they can tell this. And the significance is. This could mean life. Life could be getting. Created it out there.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Then we got to leave it be. I mean, we can't mess with that at all. How far away do we know? Way out there in the Milky Way.

[Jess Hooker]

Way out there in the Milky Way.

[Jeff Oskay]

It's in our galaxy.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

They don't.

[Jess Hooker]

They don't give an address.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, I'd never heard of. I mean, this is. I. Have you guys ever heard of. I've never heard of raspberry sugar.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, what this just means is it's the sugar found in raspberries.

[Chick McGee]

It sounds like something you find at a farmer's market.

[Jess Hooker]

It's a simple sugar that's in the raspberry. Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Sounds like a Bruno Mars song.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jess Hooker]

It does.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, there was a raspberry beret, wasn't there? That was Prince. There's a Watermelon sugar song by Harry Styles. Harry Styles.

[Jeff Oskay]

Now, is watermelon sugar a euphemism?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Are they trying to say something maybe

[Jeff Oskay]

like Mountain Dew kind of thing?

[Jess Hooker]

That good? Good. No.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

You've never heard Mountain Dew?

[Jess Hooker]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, more like a Southern tuna restaurant.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, Mountain Dew.

[Tom Griswold]

Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew would be a testicular, am I correct?

[Jeff Oskay]

No, I have heard it used as.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Jess Hooker]

Shake the dew off the lily.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, vaginals accretions. Well, that's. A doctor could say that we're all adults. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Jeff Oskay]

I didn't say put. It

[Chick McGee]

could have easily said.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, okay.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

So red raspberry sugar, huh?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Spain center for Astrobiology said this is the very first sugar to be detected in interstellar space. Sugar. And it suggests that life could develop in other worlds in a similar fashion to what it did on Earth.

[Chick McGee]

Thanks for calling Spain Astrobiology. Please hold. We don't get many calls. That's kind of a cool story.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's not exactly like aliens with 12 arms and one eye, but it's. It's kind of a sweet story.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

It is a deep story, pretty much by definition.

[Chick McGee]

Remember what Hawking said, though, when they show up, they're not going to be here to go, hey, we love you guys. That's not going to happen.

[Jess Hooker]

They're already here.

[Chick McGee]

They need. Yeah, they need something.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you More raspberry sugar?

[Chick McGee]

I guess.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

By the way, are you. Is anyone else. Did anyone else watch the. I think. Is it Netflix that had the. Or maybe it was Apple TV with sugar.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, the. What's the name? What's that guy's name? He's in. In Bruges. Colin Farrell.

[Tom Griswold]

Colin Farrell.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it. It looks in the beginning like it's a traditional private. Private eye guy, well dressed, drives an incredibly cool car. And then it takes a very weird turn. I won't spoil it for you.

[Jess Hooker]

But okay.

[Tom Griswold]

To me taking it out of the genre, if you will.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

But no one saw it. Seen any of it. I can't believe they brought. Brought up season two back. But they just did. So. So now what's the best show you're watching right now, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

I don't. Best is a hard term. I just wrapped up Star City on Apple tv. I really enjoyed that, but I could see some people wouldn't care for that. I just started Beef Season two on Netflix.

[Ace Cosby]

Is season two good, man?

[Chick McGee]

It's odd.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. But I give Oscar Isaac a white I really like.

[Jeff Oskay]

I know that's on one of the streaming platforms.

[Chick McGee]

Where's the beef, Don? Netflix.

[Jeff Oskay]

Ah, thank you.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, you're welcome.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you.

[Jeff Oskay]

A little Clara Peller.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's right. Just telling you when that.

[Tom Griswold]

Do a little trivia there.

[Chick McGee]

When that commercial started and she looked and looked. Looks around and where's the be.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, America lost their mind.

[Chick McGee]

I laughed for hours.

[Jeff Oskay]

I was a kid. And that's all we said. Oh, yeah, that.

[Tom Griswold]

That was up George didn't George Bush.

[Chick McGee]

The. The older. Why is the beef? And whatever he was.

[Tom Griswold]

I think so.

[Chick McGee]

I think he did not gone. Where's the B.

[Jess Hooker]

Is.

[Tom Griswold]

Is there one of those right now? There was the 67 thing for a while.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh.

[Jeff Oskay]

But like an advertising slogan that has really caught the.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, man.

[Tom Griswold]

Have you ever said to a woman, one of these ladies you were encountering. Josh.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, God.

[Tom Griswold]

What's in your wallet?

[Chick McGee]

In mine.

[Tom Griswold]

I've got this rubber.

[Jeff Oskay]

You know, I haven't said that.

[Chick McGee]

I do. I do find it oddly funny when you say rubber, though. I don't know what it is, but I like it.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, thanks very much. A couple quick things. Willie G will be here Thursday and Friday, I think, and he's gonna be in Nashville, Indiana with Jeff Oskay special show with the old mill. The Story Inn.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, do we have the photograph of Jeffrey you were gonna show? Are we saving that for tomorrow?

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, no, we can show it real quick.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, there it is.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, that.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

That's my first headshot.

[Tom Griswold]

Decided to get stoned just from the tail picture.

[Chick McGee]

Where the hell are you looking?

[Ace Cosby]

100% sober in that picture.

[Tom Griswold]

I would never have recognized you.

[Chick McGee]

What the hell are you looking at?

[Tom Griswold]

You got a lot of dippity do in your hair.

[Jess Hooker]

Looks just like his son.

[Jeff Oskay]

I didn't know you were in St. Elmo's Fire.

[Chick McGee]

You are a brat pack.

[Tom Griswold]

And you got the T shirt with the sport coat.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

And an earring that was.

[Jeff Oskay]

This is a joke for no one, but it's. You look like you're in a Jay McInery.

[Chick McGee]

No. Yeah. Bright lights.

[Tom Griswold]

You can't tell if the sleeves are rolled up on the sport coat.

[Jess Hooker]

How old are you there?

[Ace Cosby]

That was my first headshot, so. That was 20 years ago. Nice. I was about 75 pounds lighter and 34 years old. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

You look kind of like.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, Tom Holtz a little bit.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, that's exactly right. Tom Holtz from Animal House.

[Jeff Oskay]

He's the Amadeus and.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Terrific actor. I think he's a producer now. Really good actor. Well, now, thank you so much for joining us. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Bob Kevoian]

For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom show contest rules, go to bobandtom. Com Contest rules. Or just scroll down to the bottom of the page and see contest rules. This is the Bob and Tom Show.