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Tom Griswold
This episode brought to you by Progressive Insurance.
Chick McGee
Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Shifting a little money here, a little.
Tom Griswold
There, hoping it all works out? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can get a better budgeter and potentially lower your insurance bill too. You tell Progressive what you want to pay for car insurance and they'll help find you options within your budget. Try it today@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.
Jess Hooker
On WhatsApp, no one can see or hear your personal messages. Whether it's a voice call message or sending a password to WhatsApp, it's all just this. So whether you're sharing the streaming password in the family chat or trading those late night voice messages that could basically become a podcast, your personal messages stay between you, your friends and your family. No one else, not even us. WhatsApp message privately with everyone.
Jeff Oskay
It's the Bob and Tom Show.
Tom Griswold
I'm gonna tie you up Feel free to sing along I'm gonna tie you.
Josh Arnold
Up Gotta feel for it, yeah that.
Chick McGee
Sexy little number you're wearing has got you looking mighty fine well, I got a different number for you, baby.
Tom Griswold
I.
Jeff Oskay
Want to tie you up very unscathed.
Tom Griswold
I'm gonna tie you up oh, do.
Chick McGee
We have to take it down Fulgur Road?
Tom Griswold
Good Lord.
Chick McGee
How about little Tom Waits? You wanna hear Tom waits?
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Oh, Mr. Waits just passed out.
Chick McGee
Wake up, Tom.
Tom Griswold
Take your time.
Chick McGee
Are you all right?
Tom Griswold
Take your time. Take your time.
Chick McGee
Duke and his band, they sure sound fine. This is a happy ain't one of.
Jess Hooker
Mine.
Tom Griswold
Lord Henry I want to tie you up.
Jeff Oskay
I want my tie you.
Chick McGee
Up the sad little hobo going to tie you up I want to tie you up the lonely old maid I.
Tom Griswold
Want to tie you up.
Jeff Oskay
I guess Tom Griswold appearance here.
Chick McGee
Oh, should we do a Tom Griswold verse?
Tom Griswold
That'd be good, I think. Oh, this is new.
Chick McGee
I've been preparing a verse. I'll sing it right here. Actually, I'll come back within a minute. I've got a million things to do.
Jeff Oskay
I'm not really ready.
Chick McGee
I'm sorry. Christy, what do we have?
Tom Griswold
All right, now.
Jeff Oskay
Just a man.
Chick McGee
I wanna tie you up Just the.
Jeff Oskay
Men who are larger than average I.
Tom Griswold
Wanna tie you up with this.
Jeff Oskay
Just.
Jess Hooker
The men who are great liars.
Jeff Oskay
Duke.
Tom Griswold
Tomato in the palm tree.
Jeff Oskay
Hey, good morning from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Stud. The Bob and Tom Show. Jess Hooker at the Silac Insurance news desk.
Jess Hooker
Hello.
Jeff Oskay
Hello.
Tom Griswold
Indeed.
Jeff Oskay
There's Jeff Oskay. Hey, buddy. There's Josh Arnold.
Chick McGee
No.
Jess Hooker
Oh, no.
Chick McGee
We're all off to a terrible start.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, my God, there's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick mcgee. Hello, Tom. How are you?
Tom Griswold
I'm in great shape. Got a new thing I'm doing. Doing?
Jeff Oskay
I don't believe you. Tell us about it because you're in trouble with some of the staff.
Chick McGee
But go ahead and tell us about it, stud.
Tom Griswold
I'm coming in a new way. Oh, coming into work after coming in the same way for the last three years. That's not true.
Jeff Oskay
That's not true at all.
Tom Griswold
Yes, it is.
Jeff Oskay
You always switch up. No matter where you've been living. You. You've told me that you never take the same way two days in a row.
Tom Griswold
This is different though. I'm in my new house, you remember, I've been there for a couple of years.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Tom Griswold
Very exciting couple of years. Figured out a new way to come in, which I think. Well, I think we're all looking for a way to.
Jeff Oskay
New way to come anyway.
Tom Griswold
To come. Videos.
Jeff Oskay
Okay.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, it's brilliant. I got to hand it to myself. Instead of waiting at really long red lights, I found a way to go in which I can take right on reds and then a left at the next side street. It's amazing.
Chick McGee
Does it save time?
Tom Griswold
I don't care. It's just I hate sitting at red lights that hour of the morning. I'm always afraid some guy's gonna come up with a gun and stick it in my head at the intersection.
Jeff Oskay
I really have to hand it to myself.
Jess Hooker
I like it.
Tom Griswold
It's fun.
Jeff Oskay
What a swollen.
Chick McGee
Was today the first day for this?
Tom Griswold
Oh, no, no. This is day four of this.
Chick McGee
Oh, okay. So this has been a good week of it.
Tom Griswold
You see, the freeway way that I don't ordinarily come is now closed off.
Chick McGee
Sure. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
They're doing a three year freeway rebuild.
Josh Arnold
Well, if you do take the exit ahead of time, they now send you down of what I like to call a concrete luge for your car where you have about 6 inches on each side from destroying your car.
Chick McGee
I like it.
Josh Arnold
Oh, it's terrifying to me. I hope I don't sneeze.
Tom Griswold
If you get off. If you get off one exit earlier, the southbound one is now a chicane. So they've got. I don't know what they're doing there.
Jeff Oskay
I hate progress.
Chick McGee
That thing you're talking about, Jeff, I've often thought, what if a car breaks down in there?
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Jess Hooker
You're done.
Chick McGee
It's. It's bedlam.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, yeah.
Tom Griswold
It's concrete walls on both sides. You've got about six. Yeah, I. What would a wider vehicle even be able to go through that?
Chick McGee
I have seen a semi go through.
Tom Griswold
Wow, that's some good driving.
Chick McGee
Yeah. I don't know if there were sparks or not.
Josh Arnold
I have a tiny car and it feels like it is like I'm just gonna wreck it any moment.
Tom Griswold
Don't worry, it's only another six months. So in any event, I'm in a good mood now. I can tell. Ms. Hooker, something's happened to you. What's the matter?
Jess Hooker
I. I was up late. I. I was. I was hanging out with the commission last night. Yeah.
Chick McGee
Michael Chickless?
Jess Hooker
No, Commissioner of the wnba.
Jeff Oskay
There you go.
Jess Hooker
I met her at a party last night and we. We hit it off.
Chick McGee
You have that I partied last night voice.
Jess Hooker
I did that.
Jeff Oskay
Kathy Engelbert.
Chick McGee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jess Hooker
She's super nice. Just started talking. She came up to me and we were. She was like, hey, what do you do? And I was like, I'm an accountant.
Tom Griswold
Never tell them.
Jeff Oskay
That's right.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, yeah. And so I. I was talking to her and I was like, oh, oh, wait, this is. This is the commissioner. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, it was cool. Had a blast.
Chick McGee
Good.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, we have a little bit of that in the world of sports.
Jeff Oskay
Yes. Caitlin Clark is expected. Is injured and will not participate in any of the.
Tom Griswold
Even the three point thing.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, the all star activities.
Jess Hooker
She's gonna coach.
Jeff Oskay
She will coach from the bench, but she will not physically participate.
Chick McGee
Whatever she has to do, man.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, it's got a nice.
Jeff Oskay
Here certainly.
Tom Griswold
Just to open up the show. Dear Bob and Tom show. I was behind an old guy riding a big Harley hog. His turn signal was on forever. And I thought, wow, even old bikers leave on their turn signal. Because we know that's kind of.
Jeff Oskay
You don't leave your turn signal on, do you?
Tom Griswold
I'm pretty good about that.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Tom Griswold
My car has a pretty noisy clicker thing.
Jeff Oskay
I found a way. It's a hack, but I found a way to turn my turn signal clicker down. Oh, the volume of it goes down. Oh, yeah.
Tom Griswold
Is that how.
Jeff Oskay
I can't tell you if I feel like if I tell you, I will. I'll be on some list.
Tom Griswold
No, I don't want to.
Jeff Oskay
Bavarian motor work.
Tom Griswold
I need it up there to remind me. Okay. Let's just get right to it. Dear Bob and Tom show. You make my mornings more bearable during my deliveries all morning. My wife and I were on a little vacation a couple weeks ago. We loaded up the horses and we learned how to work them with cattle and how to communicate with our horses. That sounds like a great, great fun time. On the way there, you guys were talking about why the front naughty of a woman is sometimes called a beaver. We found out, of course, it was originally named for a male beard. My wife turned to me and said, I like your beaver. Reaching over and scratching my beard.
Chick McGee
Oh.
Tom Griswold
Now we're in bed and she randomly leans over and grabs my beard and says, you have a nice beaver.
Chick McGee
Well, how about that?
Tom Griswold
That's sweet.
Chick McGee
We sparked some romance.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
And then the line. Ms. Hooker, do you know what movie has the line nice Beaver?
Jess Hooker
I don't.
Tom Griswold
And it involves Priscilla Presley.
Jeff Oskay
You're gonna have to brush up on that.
Jess Hooker
Naked Gun.
Jeff Oskay
The late light lesbian thing you're gonna have.
Jess Hooker
Oh, yeah, brush up on terminology, all that beaver stuff.
Tom Griswold
You know, it's. It's in the. In the movie is the Naked Gun Where?
Jeff Oskay
I don't know.
Tom Griswold
Up on the ladder?
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, it's in one of the Naked Guns. I'm Part one. One. Is it?
Chick McGee
Nice beaver. Thank you. I just had it stuffed.
Tom Griswold
And then she pulls a beaver off the shelf.
Jeff Oskay
Is there anything funnier that she comes off those platform heels and she's like, 2ft tall. I don't know. It just gets me every time.
Tom Griswold
And what's the title of the new one that's coming?
Chick McGee
They're just calling it the Naked Gun.
Tom Griswold
Okay. Yeah, it's got a great ad, great trailer. What do you. Whatever you call trailer? Preview with a O.J. simpson joke in it, believe it or not. Too soon?
Chick McGee
I. I don't know, but no way.
Jeff Oskay
Is that considered too soon. Well, Jess, had something happen in the break room. I think that concerns you.
Jess Hooker
Wanna wait or should I bring it up now?
Jeff Oskay
I think you should bring it up now because this is his pride and joy so far.
Jess Hooker
Hey, buddy. Look what I found.
Tom Griswold
Oh, my, my.
Chick McGee
Almost like a carafe type thing. You have your tea in there? Normally.
Jess Hooker
So, Tom, last week sometime, he was like. Like, it's gone. It's stolen. It broke.
Tom Griswold
My iced tea picture was missing.
Jeff Oskay
Somebody broke it. I think I put it in the dishwasher. It broke. I don't know what happened.
Jess Hooker
No, somebody washed it and then put it away in the cabinet.
Tom Griswold
No.
Chick McGee
How dare I know?
Tom Griswold
Goes in my place over here. In the meantime, Michael, I've got a new one. Yeah, that's Heavier. Well, they're good. And I got two.
Jess Hooker
Now you have two.
Josh Arnold
Okay, so it was where it was supposed to.
Tom Griswold
No, no, it's supposed to be in my space.
Chick McGee
I forgot he has two. We don't know which one to pee in.
Jeff Oskay
Does he not remind you of Humphrey Bogart in the Cane Mutiny, or is it. Is it just me? I don't know. Tea, pictures. That's why I had him tea.
Tom Griswold
That's right.
Jeff Oskay
Tea, pictures.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Strawberries. Yeah.
Chick McGee
Strawberry tea. I don't care for it.
Jeff Oskay
I don't care for it. What happened to my picture? Where's my world famous.
Tom Griswold
Got some terminology here for. I did a little research yester.
Jess Hooker
Okay.
Tom Griswold
Do you know what the Altar of Venus is?
Jess Hooker
I don't.
Jeff Oskay
Mars.
Jess Hooker
It sounds fun.
Jeff Oskay
Women are from. Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Isn't that right, Kai?
Tom Griswold
You're getting close. The Altar of Venus was a term they. That. What is it? Lexicographers, I believe is the term was a slang term for the vagina.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
In. In. In the 1500s.
Jeff Oskay
What's it called?
Tom Griswold
The Altar of Venus.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, yeah.
Tom Griswold
Kind of. Kind of odd, giving it kind of a religious thing.
Jess Hooker
Well, some men.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Worship.
Tom Griswold
Worship it.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
And in some cases, sweet. Sweet should be worshiped. Right.
Chick McGee
Venus, one of the most beloved of goddesses.
Jeff Oskay
Hot.
Tom Griswold
And we have hot goddesses. Coming up, a great story about a bunch of monks.
Jeff Oskay
A bunch of monks.
Tom Griswold
And I'm not sure what you call a group of monks. A. There's probably a technical term like a pod of monks.
Jeff Oskay
Conclave or.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, probably. Yeah, that's a good one. A bunch of monks who are in trouble and they had to get. Is the word demonked.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
We have the story coming up.
Jeff Oskay
Defrocked.
Tom Griswold
It involves.
Jess Hooker
It's kind of sad.
Tom Griswold
Oh, I think it's great.
Jess Hooker
No, they were disrobed.
Tom Griswold
Oh, that's the word. Disrobed.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Well, they were disrobed because they got disrobed by a lady.
Chick McGee
Oh, my.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, their vow of celibacy.
Jeff Oskay
Well, some. Sometimes all those vows have to go out to win.
Tom Griswold
You get a good look at the Altar of Venus. Somehow that idea of going and meditating for six hours. I don't know. What do you think, Roy? I'm gonna go sit for six hours by myself and just get lost in my thoughts. Or I can, as Steven Tyler says, go down on a muffin, I believe is the term. Something like that. Coming up, we have more terms for that area. We have some great letters. Always a pleasure to hear from you and some exciting stuff in the world of news and sports.
Jeff Oskay
We've got something especially for Tom this morning. And if you know anything about Tom, if you're a tomophile, he likes to do something interesting and odd to his socks. And finally, there's a manufacturer who meets his needs.
Chick McGee
Wow.
Jeff Oskay
Believe it or not.
Tom Griswold
And we have a crypto, not currency, but Crypto the superdog update, which is really fun.
Jeff Oskay
I guess he's entirely cgi. Did I read that right?
Tom Griswold
That's correct.
Chick McGee
My gosh, that's good cgi.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, there's no.
Chick McGee
I didn't see the movie, but the trailer. I thought that was a dog.
Jeff Oskay
It's unbelievable. Yeah, unbelievable.
Tom Griswold
But it's crypto's doing something good in the real world.
Jeff Oskay
He's a good boy.
Tom Griswold
Of course he's a good boy. This is his favorite thing.
Jeff Oskay
He's a super goo.
Tom Griswold
Just when you're petting me right there, that's my favorite spot. I'm gonna wag my tail and move my paw like I'm doing it.
Jeff Oskay
He'd bite your leg off, right?
Tom Griswold
Your dog do that thing where you, you're giving your dog a little chest rubbing. Your dog's moving his paw like he's doing it. Taking all the credit. Right now I want to give some credit to our friends at Simply Safe.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, that's right. Simply Safe let you feel safe and a peace of mind. What Simplisafe gives you a system that works to prevent break in before it ever happens. And we use Simplisafe here at the Bob and Tom studios. Most security systems only take action after somebody breaks in and that is way too late. Simplisafe has active guard outdoor protection that helps stop break ins before they occur. With AI powered cameras and live monitoring agents, Simplisafe detect suspicious activity around your property. And if someone is lurking, agents can talk to that lurker in real time, turn on spotlights, can call the police, proactively deterring crime before it starts. No contracts, no hidden fees. 4 million plus Americans trust SimpliSafe. I do. You should too. Monitoring plans start around a dollar a day and a 60 day money back guarantee. And this deal is amazing. Visit simplisafetom.com right now and claim 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan to get your first month free. That's SimpliSafe. Tom.com There is no safe like simply say.
Tom Griswold
Coming up on possible name for the hang down. We have an interesting challenge out there. A lot of good responses to that thing. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in.
Chick McGee
Full, owning a home and more.
Tom Griswold
Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it.
Chick McGee
So your dollar goes a long way.
Tom Griswold
Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance, Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates.
Josh Arnold
Potential savings will vary.
Chick McGee
Not available in all states or situations.
Jeff Oskay
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Jess Hooker. There's Jeff Hoskay, Josh Arnold, Ace Cosby. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Time now for letters, letters from listeners brought to you by Hyundai. The Hyundai getaway sales event going on now. Get deals so right it almost feels wrong. Don't miss out. Visit your local Hyundai dealer today. Do you have any letters over there, Tom?
Tom Griswold
Oh, I do. Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, right.
Tom Griswold
Trying to find out what you call a group of monks. I just asked about that.
Jeff Oskay
Well, I know they attend a monkery to become holy. I'm pretty sure that's.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, but there's also. There's another name for that, too.
Jeff Oskay
It's not a monkey.
Tom Griswold
I thought it was a cloister.
Josh Arnold
No, belfry.
Tom Griswold
That's where the bats are.
Josh Arnold
A cave of monk.
Jeff Oskay
You think they get around late at night? They play poker. I bet they do.
Chick McGee
Maybe some kind of game.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, like Rummy Cube or something.
Tom Griswold
Yes, I think it's probably a lot of butt play.
Chick McGee
Oh, well, my man's theory.
Jeff Oskay
We're gonna be. Are we gonna be. We're gonna be real here.
Tom Griswold
Oh, sorry.
Jeff Oskay
What the hell, man?
Tom Griswold
Let's sit around with a bunch of guys all the time. No cell phones, no tv.
Jeff Oskay
So instead of playing poker or maybe Rummy Cube, you want to play with your buddy's ass, Is that what you're saying?
Tom Griswold
No, that's. I just got it. I'm suspect of all monks.
Jeff Oskay
Why is that? When did monks get a bad guy?
Chick McGee
I don't know that a monk has ever affected my life in any way.
Tom Griswold
It's the ultimate in.
Jeff Oskay
Okay, this will be an amazing sentence. Go ahead. Monks are the ultimate.
Tom Griswold
The taking the joy out of everything and.
Chick McGee
No, they're kidding.
Jess Hooker
The opposite.
Tom Griswold
Yes.
Chick McGee
They're on an eternal quest for some sort of higher peace.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. For Nirvana.
Tom Griswold
Be here now, Nirvana. Go get the album and jam out a little bit.
Jeff Oskay
When you realize everything is perfect, you'll throw your head back and laugh. That's a monk. Come on.
Chick McGee
You were a monk for Ozzy.
Tom Griswold
That's what. I've dressed like a monk once for an Ozzy osbourne concert for 10 minutes. But that was. And I don't know. I just. I'm always suspect of all that, that whole thing.
Josh Arnold
My favorite monk, Tony Shalhoub. Everton.
Chick McGee
Yeah. You got to be number one.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. We have big monk news coming up.
Jeff Oskay
He was monk all the time. Except they had a different assistant.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Bitty shrank.
Tom Griswold
It's really amongst her, like the ultimate. And passive aggressive.
Jeff Oskay
Is that right?
Tom Griswold
Yeah. No, no, no, no. Go ahead. You do whatever you want. I'm gonna sit here and think.
Josh Arnold
No, some of these, like, Tibetan monks have fought in wars. And I mean, they're.
Chick McGee
They're. They were like, yeah.
Josh Arnold
Horrible sops.
Tom Griswold
Oh, not these guys in the news. They're just sitting around doing nothing.
Chick McGee
Can we get a name for a group of them?
Tom Griswold
Some of them make one. No, there isn't one.
Jeff Oskay
One.
Josh Arnold
Oh.
Jeff Oskay
Oh.
Tom Griswold
It's. Oh. This says there's not a widely recognized collective noun, like there is for a pot of whales or a murder of crows. H. So suggestions? You could say an order of monks sometimes.
Chick McGee
Ah, okay.
Tom Griswold
But I don't know, you could make one up. A hum of monks. What's that? A mantra of monks. But we'll get to our monk hunk, if you will. Coming up.
Jeff Oskay
That's all right.
Chick McGee
A madrigal of monks.
Tom Griswold
Oh, that's good. I like that very much. What have you got over there?
Jeff Oskay
Dear Bob and Tom show. Hey, Josh. Being a logo file.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Jeff Oskay
I'm surprised you did not provide this correction. A masseuse is the word for females that perform massages. A masseur is the male who performs massages.
Chick McGee
Sure. Yeah. I don't know. I must not have felt the need to.
Jeff Oskay
Robert sends us that from Turlock, California.
Tom Griswold
All right.
Jeff Oskay
Yep.
Tom Griswold
What is it again now?
Jeff Oskay
Because we had Bruce the masseuse Goes for your.
Chick McGee
But why would I ever ruin Bruce the masseuse?
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, that's. It's beautiful.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah. So it can't. Bruce the masseur doesn't have quite the.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Is there one that. Is there a masseur rhyme?
Jeff Oskay
I can't think of a name that rhymes with monsieur.
Chick McGee
But there are men out there that have monsieur allure.
Tom Griswold
Oh, what if it's a French guy? Monsieur.
Chick McGee
I think that that works. Monsieur.
Jeff Oskay
He's not very well known. He's obscure.
Chick McGee
Yes.
Jeff Oskay
Anything.
Chick McGee
Sure.
Jeff Oskay
Dear Bob and top show, I only get to Listen. For about an hour and a half a day. That's far too lucky. SOB we need. We need all. Every minute, every day. You guys had me going last week. I'm in my work van. I actually believe that Josh had quit. Oh, that's Vern in Grand Island.
Chick McGee
You guys must have talked a lot about that chick.
Tom Griswold
Mentioned it. God's.
Jeff Oskay
No, I don't. I don't think every intro.
Chick McGee
I quit.
Jeff Oskay
We had you on recording saying you'd quit.
Chick McGee
Right?
Jeff Oskay
I was just reporting.
Tom Griswold
We had a. I forget how we got into this discussion, but we were talking about the famous Hollywood people and others that are well known for their endowment in the front naughty area. And you mentioned a chick. Something called factory air.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Which is a street term.
Jeff Oskay
Evidently, That's. That's desired.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. When a woman stands up naked and you look at her from the back, there's a space between her thighs. Upper.
Jeff Oskay
I don't think that's. That's the case. I. I'd say in most men. What do you think, Josh?
Chick McGee
What's that?
Jeff Oskay
Factory air.
Tom Griswold
But that most men have it.
Jeff Oskay
No, Most men don't desire that much anymore. Don't they? Isn't thick in. And.
Chick McGee
Oh, sure, thick. Thick thighs save lives.
Jeff Oskay
But either way, the.
Tom Griswold
The. The factory air is the term. And I forget who suggested. Is there a term for a male. From the backside you can see where you can see the day. The front dangle from the back. And we were looking for the proper term. And what was the one you liked the most, Josh? The landing gear.
Chick McGee
Landing gear is real good. We had Clapper.
Jess Hooker
We had Gut Wrench.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Clapper. I didn't. I didn't pick up on Clapper because Clapper is the thing that the. Hang down in a bell.
Chick McGee
Right.
Tom Griswold
I was thinking of the electric thing where you go like this and your lights go off. They still. Is that still a thing?
Chick McGee
I hope so.
Jeff Oskay
Sure.
Tom Griswold
Keith suggests the kickstand.
Chick McGee
Oh, yeah. I've actually heard that for wiener before. But in this case, just using it for seeing it from the back.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
The zipper jammer.
Chick McGee
It'll jam a zipper.
Jeff Oskay
All right.
Tom Griswold
Zipper Jammer. Sounds like some kind of hit song for kids.
Jeff Oskay
I think we're getting in the weeds, though, now. Just for big dorks instead of ones you can see from.
Jess Hooker
James says to stick with the automotive theme. Call it the stick shift. Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
How about that?
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
You could get. You can buy. Can't you buy eight balls to put on top of your shifter in your car?
Chick McGee
Yeah, I always kind of wanted to do that.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah. Right.
Tom Griswold
That's what we determined was that 7% of Americans can drive a stick.
Chick McGee
Boy, that's low.
Tom Griswold
It's very low.
Jess Hooker
Everybody in here can, right?
Jeff Oskay
Yep.
Tom Griswold
I can't.
Josh Arnold
I'm gonna order one now for my stick.
Jeff Oskay
That's fun. An eight ball.
Chick McGee
I didn't know you still have a manual.
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah.
Tom Griswold
Nice.
Jess Hooker
That's fun.
Chick McGee
What do you want to drive it every now and again?
Jeff Oskay
We got three on the tree there. What do you got?
Josh Arnold
Five.
Jeff Oskay
Five speed.
Josh Arnold
Simple five speed.
Tom Griswold
Oh, nice.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, that's fun.
Jess Hooker
It is fun.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. One of our guys, Noah, just got a. He bought a. He like, wasn't he? 2004 BMW convertible.
Jeff Oskay
He was on a photo shoot and just bought a car.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, yeah. This guy's said, I want to get rid of this car. It's. It's gorgeous. Yeah, it's a beautiful convertible BMW.
Chick McGee
Cool.
Tom Griswold
Five speed.
Chick McGee
And he's a tinkerer, that Noah. Does he.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, he's gonna. He's gonna do it all himself.
Chick McGee
Okay, cool.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, he's one of those guys.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, yeah.
Tom Griswold
We're gonna take the flange with the bad. And he's got it all down.
Josh Arnold
10 bucks for an eight ball shifter.
Jess Hooker
Can you get other ones?
Josh Arnold
Other numbers?
Jess Hooker
No, other, like other toppers.
Tom Griswold
Decorative topper.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, look, look.
Jess Hooker
There's one with a goldfish in it or something.
Tom Griswold
I imagine the other numbers probably fairly obscure. We're out of all stripes. We do have a solid two.
Chick McGee
Maybe a cue ball. I've seen a skull.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, a crystal skull.
Chick McGee
Maybe you can get the amber. The mosquito in amber.
Jess Hooker
Oh, yeah.
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah.
Chick McGee
That would be nerdy.
Tom Griswold
This may end the discussion of what we need to name the hang down. Okay, this is very good. This comes to us from Bob in beautiful Colorado Springs regarding a name for the rear view of a hanging man's male member tail hook. Think of landing your jet on an aircraft carrier. Use your imagination.
Chick McGee
Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jess Hooker
Okay.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, that's. And that is as cool and dangerous as anything that humankind can do well. Are you kidding?
Jeff Oskay
They know what they're doing. They train endlessly.
Tom Griswold
Well, sure they do, but it's super badass.
Jeff Oskay
I bet they're doing it with their eyes shut.
Tom Griswold
I doubt it. I would be gripping my rectum. That's all the powers of my ass.
Jeff Oskay
You don't do it. Do you really think provided some sort of frightening experience. You actually crap your pants?
Chick McGee
Can you imagine being that scared that your bowels immediately kick in? I don't think you go from not Having to go at all to crapping yourself.
Jeff Oskay
Avid psychiatrist said that that's the most trained response in human is the potty training and that you would die first before messing your pants. Of course, you're different about everything.
Tom Griswold
I don't know.
Jeff Oskay
You've done it a couple times.
Tom Griswold
I think it's kind of an expression. I'm not sure it actually happens in the real world. There may be cases in which it does.
Chick McGee
I. I think it might come from the animal world. Really? More so. More so than humans.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. I remember reading about some guy that is a response to being mugged. He did that and the mug. And the mugger ran away.
Jeff Oskay
Was it a self defense class or something where he. This is how you get out of this?
Tom Griswold
No, no, in reality. Did it.
Josh Arnold
When I got robbed, I peed myself. I fell on the ground and peed myself.
Chick McGee
Yeah, urinating, I think is way more common.
Josh Arnold
In that instance, like my legs just gave out. My urinated all over myself.
Tom Griswold
I didn't. Tell me the story of getting robbed.
Josh Arnold
I was like 19. I was coming out of a pool hall after playing some games and the guy didn't like the fact that I had won and put a gun to my head and asked for his money back. And I just fell on like, my legs just gave out and I just fell onto the parking lot and peed myself. And he ran my pockets and took all.
Chick McGee
I don't blame you at all.
Josh Arnold
Laid there crying for about an hour.
Chick McGee
Well, sure. Yeah, I do like that. He put the gun to your head and asked for the money back. May I please have that money back? Yeah, like I'm pressing a gun.
Josh Arnold
My. My entire body just stopped.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Yeah, it's a defense thing.
Tom Griswold
Did he think you were somehow cheating or he was just. He was just not gonna allow.
Josh Arnold
No, he just didn't, like, lose a couple hundred bucks.
Jeff Oskay
Are you ever a victim of gunplay, Tom? Anybody point a gun at you?
Tom Griswold
No. Knife?
Jeff Oskay
That's surprising.
Chick McGee
Well, I freak out if somebody points.
Jeff Oskay
A rubber band at me.
Tom Griswold
Morning. Morningside Park, New York City, Manhattan.
Jeff Oskay
Was it a mugging guy with a knife?
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
They mugged you? What'd they take?
Tom Griswold
Nothing. I ran away.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, that's right. You were a cross country star.
Tom Griswold
That's right.
Jeff Oskay
God.
Josh Arnold
Did you do the. What's that? And then take off that way or did.
Tom Griswold
You know, I, you know.
Jeff Oskay
Hey, look at the grouse.
Tom Griswold
There's not. Not a lot of thinking. You just take off?
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
I was. I was shouting and then the guy quit after a while. What'd you shout, Just screaming. I don't know. I don't remember. I'm a college student. Go get this ruffian off my ass.
Jess Hooker
Masher.
Tom Griswold
He's a masher. If you'd like to send us a letter, how would one go about doing that, Josh?
Chick McGee
Oh.
Tom Griswold
You compose it first and then you address it to Bob and tom@bobandtom.com.
Jeff Oskay
That'S right.
Tom Griswold
Sorry for the curveball.
Josh Arnold
No, no.
Chick McGee
I must not have been paying the proper amount of tension in your mind that you felt like you had to throw that to me.
Jeff Oskay
This is from Sarah. Dear Bob and Tom, show love. You guys have so many letters I've sent to you, but none are read. I'll try it again. You were talking about peacocks today and you said that peacocks have fancy feathers. She go, one might say peacocks wear a fancy vest. It's a John Wayne reference. What we've always.
Tom Griswold
And what movie is that from?
Jeff Oskay
El Dorado, I think. Or real. There are two movies, John Wayne movies that are identical. Just the. The cast changes. One's Dean Martin, one's Ricky Nelson. It's. It's. It's kind of confusing.
Tom Griswold
Do you have the audio?
Jeff Oskay
I do not.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Jeff Oskay
I have this. That help anything?
Tom Griswold
No, it does not. Now, coming up in sports, you got a little headline for me?
Jeff Oskay
I do. Pittsburgh Steelers. J.T. watt got paid. And the price of, uh, playing football as keeps going up for Micah Parsons and the Cowboys. Caitlin Clark has announced she is not going to take. She will not be taking participation. It's not going to be playing in the NBA all star game or the three point contest tonight.
Chick McGee
You got it.
Jeff Oskay
British Open. Thank you. I appreciate that. British Open is underway. Oh, and we have some, hopefully some pictures from the fashion show they held last night for the wnba. Oh, the ladies were showing out and showing up or whatever they. They say.
Tom Griswold
Were you there?
Jess Hooker
I wasn't at the fashion show, no. They didn't have booze there.
Tom Griswold
Ah.
Jeff Oskay
If she had been fashion show, the headline would have been Bob and Tom Newswoman ruins fashion show. Where's the booze?
Tom Griswold
Well, perhaps you need a break. Maybe a break from work, maybe a break from your family. Maybe a break in your head. That's where counsel comes in. That's where therapy can be so important. If it's work stress, family stress, love stress, whatever it might be, there's a great way now to access therapy. It's called better help. And the elegant part of better help is the therapy is done online. It's kind of like a zoom call or you can even do it without a camera going. You can just make it a phone call. But some 30,000 plus therapists are participating in this. More than 5 million people have been served globally by BetterHelp. Get all the information@betterhelp.com BTShow listen to this. Their app store rating 4.9 out of 5 with nearly 2 million reviews. So they're clearly helping a lot of people. Once again, it's about the convenience of being able to do talk therapy by not having to go across town and get into an office and then feel weird about breaking up with your therapist because it's done online. So you've got kind of one little, one less hurdle to deal with. And if you've been thinking about it, here's a good reason to maybe give it a shot. BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with, by the way, a diverse. What's the word I'm looking for, sort of sphere of expertise. So if you got a particular problem and you want to focus on that, they'll try to fix you up with someone that knows a lot about that particular issue. You can switch therapists anytime. No additional fees are involved. Get all the information and knock 10% off your first month by going to betterhelp.com btshow that's betterhelp. H E L P betterhelp.com btshow also coming up today, we have cool dogs in the news, including the superdog crypto and a real dog. Plus, here's something I was not aware of coming up in the news. Hymen rejuvenation. I don't know if you knew about that, but ladies, it's not just nostalgia anymore. You can get the old hymen back.
Chick McGee
If you're not the spokesman for it. What are they doing?
Jeff Oskay
I'm Tom Griswold.
Tom Griswold
Isn't that a Justin Timberlake song?
Jeff Oskay
Do you miss? You miss your hyman?
Tom Griswold
Bring, bring hyman back. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Jeff Oskay
Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning even though we're not too much to look at.
Josh Arnold
You can also watch the show on.
Tom Griswold
Our YouTube channel, get in the zone.
Jeff Oskay
AutoZone.
Chick McGee
Welcome to AutoZone.
Tom Griswold
What are you working on today?
Chick McGee
Hey, that's the spirit.
Tom Griswold
Right now we're celebrating free with a.
Chick McGee
Free STP oil filter when you buy.
Tom Griswold
Five quarts of oil.
Chick McGee
And free Duralast brake pads when you buy two rotors like always.
Tom Griswold
Free battery, testing, charging and recycling at every store.
Chick McGee
Celebrate free at Autozone now through July 28th. Get in the zone. Auto zone restrictions apply.
Tom Griswold
Milk. I want to drink.
Jeff Oskay
Hey, good morning. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Jess Hooker.
Jess Hooker
Hi.
Jeff Oskay
There's Jeff Oskay.
Chick McGee
Hi.
Jeff Oskay
There's Josh Arnold.
Chick McGee
Hi there.
Jeff Oskay
Ace Cosby's here. Hi, I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom. How are you, sir?
Tom Griswold
I'm great.
Jeff Oskay
Good.
Tom Griswold
Got a big Friday. A lot of. A lot of action happening.
Jeff Oskay
Well, as you've told us many times, weekends are brutal.
Tom Griswold
We know that they can be.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah. Yeah.
Jess Hooker
So is this a good Friday or just a busy Friday?
Tom Griswold
A good one. I got a lot all good stuff happening for me today.
Chick McGee
All right.
Jeff Oskay
All right.
Chick McGee
All good things.
Jess Hooker
You're taking all of us to lunch?
Tom Griswold
I, I would love to, but I'm, I've done. I've got other plans.
Jeff Oskay
Nothing you can let us in on.
Tom Griswold
Nothing. Nothing. Interesting. I'm getting a haircut.
Jess Hooker
Oh, nice.
Tom Griswold
Well, go ahead and then go ahead. Something like that's gonna take three minutes. I, I'm used to.
Jeff Oskay
I have a follow up. Why, why would you get. Erica, I told you, grow your, Grow it out. Have be ponytail bald guy. You. It's, it's waiting for you. You know, they may clip on ponytail.
Tom Griswold
Oh, I know that. Yeah.
Chick McGee
I don't know if this is necessarily considered clickbait, but I saw a headline that said Jeff Bezos grows hair out. Did you see this? And I clicked on it. I looked at the picture and it's just, it's like if Patrick Stewart grew his hair out. Like, it's not. It's just a small band of hair.
Tom Griswold
It's always. It's the, it's what they used to call the full Mel Coulee.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
I guess that part of. I read this and some of this is true and some of it, some I'm probably getting wrong. But evidently men always have hair around the fringe. Nobody ever loses hair unless there's some sort of medical condition.
Chick McGee
Gotcha.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah. You never go bald around your ears. You always have that hair.
Chick McGee
Interesting.
Tom Griswold
But if you think that it's possible that there's a chemical that's going to regrow your hair, look at all these billionaires that are completely bald. They don't choose that. If there was a way to grow hair, as I've said before, Bezos would look Like Mo Howard of the Three Stooges. He would have a ton of hair.
Jeff Oskay
Evidently Chinese are making vast improvements in glues, I guess, or something. Their hair pieces look amazing, but apparently.
Tom Griswold
There'S some gene splicing crisper thing that they're gonna, in theory, eventually be able to get your hair all back.
Jeff Oskay
Could you say gene splicing crispr?
Tom Griswold
It's called. It's. The technology is called Crispr. I'm weird. Yes. I'm serious.
Jeff Oskay
Somebody was looking in their refrigerator and thinking, I wonder what I'm gonna name that. It's the crispr.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, I. It's. I know. That's the one term I've stumbled on it. I'm sure there's someone listening that actually knows what they're talking about.
Chick McGee
But.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, maybe one of these days.
Chick McGee
I don't know if I'm interested or not. I just don't worry about it.
Tom Griswold
Well, one of the things that they do have, one of the pill things, the main side effect is impotence.
Chick McGee
Oh, yeah.
Tom Griswold
Sexual dysfunction. Well, let's see. You know, though, hey, you're the Mohoward of the Dick Lim.
Jeff Oskay
That's an interesting. Would you rather full head of glorious actual natural hair or never get a narration?
Tom Griswold
Hey, look, once you've had a bunch of kids like me, you really stop caring about the hair. I just really don't care anymore.
Chick McGee
Yeah, yeah.
Tom Griswold
If this is how you're gonna evaluate me, good luck. Have fun.
Jeff Oskay
Well, you evaluate. You gave yourself praise just earlier this morning about the wonderful alternate route you've come up with to get to work.
Tom Griswold
Of course you're missing. Missing the big picture.
Jeff Oskay
Of course I am. Yes. And what is the big picture?
Tom Griswold
I tend to get into a rut.
Jeff Oskay
Ruts are fine.
Tom Griswold
I will eat. I will eat at the same place all the time. I will.
Jeff Oskay
That's true.
Tom Griswold
Every time I go to Target, I park in the exact same area.
Jeff Oskay
Well, that's. That's a sense.
Tom Griswold
I'm not going to change that up because that's the only way I can find my car. If I switch places, I'll never remember where it is.
Chick McGee
Funny you say that. I do that too. Places I go to regularly. I park in the same area.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, yeah, but I. I would. I come into work the same way every day, and now I'm being forced to come a different way. And now I'm really mixing it up.
Jess Hooker
Well, good for you.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, it's all side streets.
Jess Hooker
Just some people call that a hyper fixation. Like when you eat the same meal or go to the Same restaurant or do the same things for X amount of time and then.
Jeff Oskay
And then you find something else.
Jess Hooker
You find something.
Chick McGee
You'll find. Most geniuses do that.
Jess Hooker
Oh, okay.
Chick McGee
Oh, yeah.
Tom Griswold
Who thought. Who would have thought of that? Now we are moving forward here on the Bob and Tom program and I believe we are going to. Are we checking in on the sports page?
Jeff Oskay
Yes, we are. Pittsburgh Steelers have made star defensive end linebacker T.J. what? Or as we like to say here on the Bob and Tom Show. T.J. what?
Chick McGee
Yeah, a little. Some Little John for that.
Jeff Oskay
Little John, that's right.
Chick McGee
T.J. what is he related to J.J. at all?
Jeff Oskay
It's his brother. Oh, what is Highest paid NFL.
Tom Griswold
What does that sound? I don't understand.
Chick McGee
Lil Jon is famous. He's a rapper. He's famous for that. Making that.
Jeff Oskay
That noise, you remember, from the window to the wall.
Tom Griswold
I don't know anything about hip hop.
Chick McGee
Yin Yang Twins. Yeah, but he'll be featured on songs. I bet he gets paid.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, yeah.
Chick McGee
He's like the Michael Buffer sort of.
Jeff Oskay
He's kind of the Michael McDonald of the rap world.
Tom Griswold
They bring him in and he just says the wor.
Chick McGee
I mean, it's one of his trademarks.
Josh Arnold
That and his.
Jeff Oskay
Okay, yeah, there you go. See, it's more than what. It's also okay.
Tom Griswold
God, what a great. What a life you get to lead when you've got a skill that is so non skilled.
Josh Arnold
He's actually. He graduated from like an Ivy League school with a degree in marketing.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, well, apparently that's.
Josh Arnold
He's very smart.
Tom Griswold
Good game.
Chick McGee
Yeah. And fun. Man. I don't know. I don't know. I have never done a deep dive into his.
Tom Griswold
What's his name again?
Chick McGee
His history. Really.
Jeff Oskay
Little John. Like Robin Hood, Little John.
Chick McGee
He's right up my alley when it comes to hip. I'm a crunk guy.
Tom Griswold
Is it J O N or J O H N?
Chick McGee
Jon, right?
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
How about this? That's him.
Tom Griswold
Okay. All right. All right. I. I have a headache.
Jeff Oskay
Wait a minute. Try, say. You say tj.
Tom Griswold
TJ What? Okay, I like that. That's as much of him as I can stand or want to know about. Good luck to him.
Jeff Oskay
Three year deal. $41 million.
Tom Griswold
For what?
Jeff Oskay
For.
Chick McGee
Yeah, what? I'd like to hear Lil John do a cover of that. Remember that? I Ain't Got a Man.
Jeff Oskay
Clarence Frogman Henry.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, he could do I Ain't Got Nobody. That is. That's a great, great song.
Jeff Oskay
Got a brother. Hey. Ladies and gentlemen, Clarence Frogman Henry. I ain't got any money I ain't got a border.
Chick McGee
So odd. But the music.
Jeff Oskay
Tom likes this.
Tom Griswold
Oh, to the music is great.
Jeff Oskay
Sure.
Tom Griswold
This swings.
Jeff Oskay
He's a lonely boy. Here we go.
Tom Griswold
The thing about this, you got to really credit. I'm sure when this guy went in there to the recording studio and said, here's what I'm gonna do, that someone rolled their eyes and went, all right, well, I guess we get paid today. And then all of a sudden this thing comes out. It's got that magic.
Chick McGee
Yeah. I've always assumed it was. This guy was screwing around at 3am after the gigs, and they were like, you got to record it. You got to.
Tom Griswold
And that's. There's a whole history of. Of joke. Random ideas. Yeah. In the world of rock, the most famous one is the Bachman Turner Overdrive where they did the Stutter.
Chick McGee
Ain't seen nothing yet.
Tom Griswold
Ain't seen nothing yet, baby.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
That was done as a joke.
Jeff Oskay
Was it somebody's brother?
Tom Griswold
Yeah, it was. I think one of their. Their road manager or something had a stutter and as a gag, they did that for him.
Chick McGee
As a gag.
Tom Griswold
Not.
Chick McGee
Not a cruel insult.
Jeff Oskay
No, it was just a fun joke.
Chick McGee
Look what we did first we would.
Jeff Oskay
Do around here, hey, Stutter.
Chick McGee
I don't think he like. What do you mean he doesn't like it? We did it for him.
Jeff Oskay
You ain't seen nothing yet.
Tom Griswold
But then look what happened. So it's kind of a nice tribute to the guy.
Jeff Oskay
Ladies and gentlemen, what you've heard are quotes from a bully.
Tom Griswold
You'Re embracing.
Jeff Oskay
I'm missing the larger point again, is what I thought.
Tom Griswold
No, I would expect that.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Coming up, we have Hyman Restoration in the news. Ladies, just in case you want to get. What's the word? Hymenized? Or is that a cleaner that does dry cleaning?
Jeff Oskay
The ladies talk. Think about that. Do they sit around wishing? I wish. My head. My.
Chick McGee
And by the way, ladies, I don't think a lot of guys do either. No, they don't go, man, I sure wish she had her.
Tom Griswold
I think there. I think there are certain. I think there are certain fascist cultures that have a big thing about that, you know, when they're.
Chick McGee
Oh, right, right.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
My.
Tom Griswold
You know, the women and they can't expose any part of their body.
Chick McGee
Yeah, that's terrible.
Tom Griswold
But it's like it's the fourth century. Once again, we report from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Jeff Oskay
Want to share a letter or comment? Our email is Bob and Tom Bob.
Tom Griswold
And Tom.com if you're an IT or security pro, managing devices, identities and applications can feel overwhelming and risky. Tralica by 1Password helps conquer SAS sprawl and shadow it by discovering every app your team uses, managed or not. Their pre built app profiles assess risk, manage access and optimum speed. And with one Password you can simplify.
Chick McGee
Onboarding, offboarding and compliance with essential centralized.
Tom Griswold
System of record at reduced costs by eliminating unused licenses. Take the first step in better security for your team. Learn more at 1Password.com special offer that's 1Password.com special offer all lowercase.
Jeff Oskay
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. At the SILAC Insurance news desk, it's Jess Hooker.
Tom Griswold
Hi.
Jeff Oskay
There's Jeff Oskay.
Josh Arnold
That's right.
Jeff Oskay
Josh Arnold.
Chick McGee
Hi there.
Jeff Oskay
Ace Cosby's here. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom.
Tom Griswold
Hello, Chick McGee. It's good to see you, sir.
Jeff Oskay
We got one more letter here if you'd like.
Tom Griswold
I do, I'd like. What does it say here?
Jeff Oskay
Bob and Tom show good morning, perfectly sane individuals.
Chick McGee
Oh, that's the wrong show.
Jeff Oskay
I think so. This is from Mike. My morning commute is about 15 minutes. I do most of my listening in the evening as a VIP member. Well, thank you, Mike. You were talking about sending K as a response text.
Chick McGee
Yes. Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Instead of. Okay. Or spelling.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, that's. I don't know why that bothers me, but I mean, everything bothers me. So I guess it.
Chick McGee
I think it's only for girls to.
Jeff Oskay
Send a K back and forth. Mike says, my wife and I both hate receiving or sending K, so we try not to do it. However, we have started to use it as a passive aggressive message indicating that we're mad. Don't forget going to the grocery store.
Tom Griswold
That's the whole thing. The whole thing about this realm in our culture. It's just. You were just saying yesterday, Chick, that you. You. You read every message and wonder. Okay, what do they really mean?
Jeff Oskay
Oh, yeah. No, I put the inflection right in there in my brain. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
What are you doing this week?
Jess Hooker
And for years do that with just text.
Jeff Oskay
What are you doing?
Tom Griswold
Don't get. Don't get too deep into the swamp here.
Jeff Oskay
I've done it with this.
Tom Griswold
I don't want him to slash his wrist until 10.
Jeff Oskay
That's cause why I'm alone.
Tom Griswold
Okay, but. But yeah. We have been saying forever that there needs to be a sarcasm font. So you would know.
Jeff Oskay
Mike has stumbled upon something though. He says if my wife sends me a K, I send her a banana emoji.
Chick McGee
Potassium.
Jeff Oskay
That's right. Banana's a good source of potassium. And the symbol for potassium.
Tom Griswold
K. K. No, now we're getting high school chemistry involved. Now, Osu said yesterday he hates getting the thumbs up emoji, and we all.
Jeff Oskay
Sent him a thumbs up emoji.
Tom Griswold
He sent me something yesterday. I sent him thumbs up. Ellipsis. I mean, and I spelled out thumbs up.
Josh Arnold
He double thumbed up me.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, that's a thing. And there's so much. There's so many codes. And I don't understand. I don't get. I don't understand what the references are.
Chick McGee
I think when it comes to texting, people should take everything at face value.
Tom Griswold
You just read it straight.
Chick McGee
Yeah. I mean, context is everything. Just if we have a. If we have, like, italicized text that suggests sarcasm, people are going to lose. We've already lost context enough in this culture. Yeah, we're going to lose it even more if we have to spoon feed everything we say to people.
Tom Griswold
Not to mention driving off the road even more. You know, pedestrian and bicyclists getting eliminated every day because of morons texting while driving. Oh, sorry. I didn't see the guy on the bike. Once again, coming up, hymen replacement surgery. What if it's a transplant thing?
Chick McGee
Oh, there are donors.
Jeff Oskay
What? I hope they're, you know. Oh, my gosh.
Tom Griswold
Go over to the nunnery.
Jeff Oskay
Are there pig hymens are there? Do they get them from pigs or something?
Chick McGee
We'll have to find turned calamari.
Tom Griswold
It's coming up in the news.
Jeff Oskay
Major League Baseball had the Home Run Derby, the All Star Game this past week, and one of the stars. It's the year of the Big Dumper. That's right. Cal Raleigh, the Mariners catcher, won the Home Run Derby and is known as the Big Dumper. And during the home run contest, he had his father, Daddy Dumper, pitching to him. And baby Dumper was catching his little brother. Well, now Cal has teamed up with a company called Honey Bucket, a leader in portable sanitation services. Honey Bucket proud to announce a new partnership with Mariners catcher and fan favorite, All Star, Cal Raleigh, known as the Big Dumper. These are Porta Johns that have the big sign of the Big Dumper. And there he is with his proudly standing by his Honey Bucket.
Chick McGee
Oh, he's got a Honey bucket hat.
Jeff Oskay
Sure. Go his shirt.
Tom Griswold
Wow.
Jeff Oskay
So when you think of going to a Porta John, think of the Big Dumper.
Tom Griswold
Wow. That had to Be a big check.
Jeff Oskay
Is I would think.
Jess Hooker
I don't know if it's just the. The way that the picture's taken, but that guy's hands look huge.
Chick McGee
No, they are. They. I guarantee they are.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, they are.
Jess Hooker
That's.
Tom Griswold
You're right.
Jeff Oskay
He's probably got an 11 inch hand. He's a catcher.
Tom Griswold
Good.
Chick McGee
Yeah, exactly.
Tom Griswold
That looks freakish.
Chick McGee
Yeah, that's the. Those are the hands you want to catch her to have.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Chick McGee
I challenge anybody to get a brand new catcher's mitt and try to close it all the way.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, yeah.
Tom Griswold
But that guy's high school girlfriend could barely walk on a Monday.
Chick McGee
I like that. Finally a guy is making money because of his big ass.
Jeff Oskay
Yes. He has a big. He's the big dumper.
Chick McGee
Women have been able to cash out on their asses for years.
Tom Griswold
I'm sure someone had probably approached the Kardashians about a Porta Jet Porta John. But you think so?
Chick McGee
I mean, that would just because nobody wants to think about women pooping. I mean, nobody wants to. Nobody wants to think about men pooping.
Tom Griswold
I think you could if you did a only fans just of Kardashians pooping. That'd be huge.
Chick McGee
I think you're right. But that's a niche. I mean, what I'm saying is in Martin, in the world of niche.
Jeff Oskay
Sorry, are you sorry?
Tom Griswold
No, not really. Not really. Not at all.
Chick McGee
You shouldn't be. That's completely acceptable.
Tom Griswold
This is great. We're. Tom spoke about the small number of people who can drive a stick shift. We were talking about one of the guys from the show. Noah bought this really cool like Tooth was a 2004 BMW convertible.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Got a great deal on it and it's so nice. But it's a five speed. And we were mentioning the fact that not everybody can drive one. We had some kind of stat. It was something like 7% of Americans can drive a stick.
Jess Hooker
Stick.
Tom Griswold
He goes. They should refer to the stick shift as the millennial anti theft device.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Because we always get those stories about carjackings that don't succeed because they get in the car and realize they don't know how to drive a stick.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
If you're going to be a carjacker, for God's sake. Do you do. Do your own.
Josh Arnold
I've seen window stickers on cars that say it's a manual, don't try to steal it or something.
Chick McGee
That probably saves them a window.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, yeah.
Jeff Oskay
I've never seen that.
Tom Griswold
Do you remember there was a thing I don't think it's happening anymore. There was a thing a few years ago in which you could purchase what looked like. It looked like someone had already stolen your radio. It was a thing that velcroed onto your dashboard that had wires coming out of it.
Jess Hooker
That's fun.
Chick McGee
What. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
They were, they were real big in Chicago.
Chick McGee
I've also seen the opposite where you could just take the. We all saw that. The face off and so it looked like there was nothing there.
Josh Arnold
I love that.
Jeff Oskay
Remember the days when you would. That would have a handle on you would lock your car up and pull it out of the dash and take the radio with you. Yeah. So people wouldn't steal it.
Tom Griswold
I was as you know, a couple weeks ago I had the good fortune to be in London, England. And I was walking down Bond street and there was a street, Bond Street. There was. This is completely true. There was a Range Rover. Very nice, elaborate, beautiful car. A Range Rover with the club.
Chick McGee
Oh nice.
Tom Griswold
You know that thing, this. I look and there's one of those bright yellow like. Wow, that's weird. You don't see those much anymore but I guess they're really effective. And a lot of those cars. I have heard some of the high end cars now are fairly easy to steal. They can do it with a computer.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
And they can somehow access the starting mechanism and unlock them.
Josh Arnold
Well I mean the club is useless now that once they came out with battery powered grinders.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Your, your, your catalytic converters and your clubs are no longer.
Tom Griswold
But I mean it's going to slow down the, the semi pro car thief. One think especially if you're on a big busy public street, if you see a guy leaning into a car with a grinder. Aren't you going to.
Jess Hooker
And I'm not gonna say anything.
Chick McGee
How hard are you laughing? The first minute you're speeding away in a stolen car. Cheering, whooping and hollering.
Jeff Oskay
Gotta be exhilarating.
Tom Griswold
Conversely, that first hour in prison.
Chick McGee
Right, right.
Tom Griswold
Biting a pillow and being vigorously sodomized.
Chick McGee
You get, you get the car started and you peel off and you are. You're speeding. You, you are.
Josh Arnold
Oh yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Now how many, how often does that, that sodomy take place in prison? It's like 100 of the inmates or 50%. Do you know?
Tom Griswold
I think it just depends.
Jeff Oskay
You make, you make it sound.
Tom Griswold
It depends how honey bronzed and desirable you are.
Chick McGee
I bet it's more consensual than we think.
Jeff Oskay
Salute.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Not for everybody.
Jeff Oskay
It's a nice time, I would think.
Chick McGee
But I bet they. There are just deals made.
Jess Hooker
Sure.
Chick McGee
All right, yeah. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours, so to speak.
Tom Griswold
Okay, fine. Well, no need to pursue that.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Chick McGee
What do you mean? That's like your favorite topic.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Scare straight would be car thieves. What's coming up in sports?
Jeff Oskay
Tom and his socks and some other things soon.
Tom Griswold
Okay. And we do have, believe it or not, from the world of silence. From the world of science.
Chick McGee
Science.
Tom Griswold
This is amazing. There. I didn't. I was not aware of this. There has been a long standing belief that the creature known as the sloth was incapable of passing gas.
Jeff Oskay
That's right. I cannot fart.
Tom Griswold
Well, they scientists have proven this. And first of all, I'd like to get a hold of the scientists that got this grant because if you can. Honey, if you can write something up where someone gives you tens of thousands of dollars to investigate sloth flatulence. You have a way with words.
Chick McGee
Did they prove one way or the other? Yeah, okay.
Tom Griswold
They did. They've got video of sloth farts.
Chick McGee
Oh.
Tom Griswold
Coming up in the news.
Jeff Oskay
I want to see that.
Chick McGee
That's a really.
Tom Griswold
You know, some stations are talking about Jeffrey Epstein's client list. We're talking about sloth. I'm going to stay here.
Jeff Oskay
Farted on.
Tom Griswold
Plus we have Hyman replacement. And a daredevil takes his last jump.
Chick McGee
Oh, I hope because of retirement.
Tom Griswold
No.
Chick McGee
Forced retirement.
Tom Griswold
The RIP does not stand for retirement in this place. I'll tell you what, once again I turn to Chick McGee because I see him right there. Talking about those great Raycon earbuds.
Jeff Oskay
Raycon's everyday earbuds. A perfect summer accessory. Whether you're going hard at the gym, you're taking a phone call, you're a mover, a shaker, relaxing to your favorite music. Raycon's everyday earbuds are your summer accessory. And the latest model is better than ever. 32 hour battery life, multipoint connectivity. You can pair two devices at once. And Raycon's quick charge function, 10 minutes of charging, 90 minutes of battery. They also come with active noise cancellation. Raycon started just half the price of other premium audio brands. And they come in all the colors. And Raycon has a 30 day happiness guarantee return policy. Go to buyraycon.com Tom and get 15% off Raycon's best selling everyday earbuds right now. Buyraycon.com Tom 15% off their best selling everyday earbuds one more time. Buyraycon.com/ Tom, once again, how's your hymen?
Tom Griswold
Do women ever greet each other that way.
Jeff Oskay
How's your hymen?
Tom Griswold
Like the way guys go, hey, how's it hanging? Do you ever walk up to lady friends and go, hey, how's the hyman?
Jeff Oskay
Don't you wish you had your hyman?
Tom Griswold
Well, we have hyman replacement in the news, believe it or not. Apparently it's a thing and it's out there. We're of course, going to cover it. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show.
Jeff Oskay
Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways.
Tom Griswold
To tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back.
Jeff Oskay
So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal.
Tom Griswold
So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment.
Jess Hooker
Of $45 for a three month plan equivalent to $15 per month. Required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks busy. Taxes and fees extra c mintmobile.com.
Jeff Oskay
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. There's Jess Hooker and Jeff Oskay, Josh Arnold, Ace Cosby. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. I'm Chick and I have a special announcement just for Tom. Hello, Tom.
Tom Griswold
Oh, yeah, go ahead.
Jeff Oskay
These are called H.J. the letters H.J.
Tom Griswold
Check.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Soft top, soft op. Soft top socks. And here's their claim. Our soft soft talk. Soft top socks will sort out your sock drawer in quick order. The ultimate comfort sock for men. It stays in place with no elastic, no unsightly marks and ideal for those with circulatory problems. Or just a man doesn't like having a python attached to his ankle.
Tom Griswold
That's me. Yeah. I like to, I often take my socks and just cut the top inch off of them.
Josh Arnold
Often.
Jeff Oskay
I think you do it to all your.
Tom Griswold
I didn't do it today. Yeah, no, but I get that. What's the name of them again? Soft. What is it?
Jeff Oskay
H.J.
Tom Griswold
Hold on.
Jeff Oskay
Like hand soft drive.
Chick McGee
Yes.
Tom Griswold
Hand drive, soft top. Nice. Nice. A rare, a rare recovery.
Jeff Oskay
They're all. They seem. They seem.
Chick McGee
Oh, they're for girls.
Jeff Oskay
A little bit dandy for you. But they're, there's some colors there. They're cool.
Tom Griswold
I don't mind having colored socks.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Or socks of color.
Jeff Oskay
That's right.
Chick McGee
Queer than a football bat. That's nice.
Tom Griswold
We'll have to try those out.
Jeff Oskay
You would. You won't have to cut the top on. They don't have any elastic. I don't know how they stay up.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, I don't have any circulatory problems. It's just. I just don't like the.
Jeff Oskay
That.
Tom Griswold
That gripping feeling on my ankles.
Jeff Oskay
Is that right?
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Ever anybody grip your ankles, Ms. Hooker?
Jess Hooker
Oh, yeah.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. You like that?
Jess Hooker
Yeah, I do, actually.
Tom Griswold
By the way, you don't have to answer any of these horrible questions.
Jess Hooker
I was. I was actually. I was looking something up and wasn't listening. But. Yeah, no, we were talking about the term fuzzy. If it means stoned, if it. No, if it means there's marijuana. Somebody implied that the. That the. That the food was fuzzy.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Meaning there's marijuana.
Jess Hooker
There's marijuana in it because the texture changes sometimes.
Jeff Oskay
Oh.
Jess Hooker
And that's why they would refer to it.
Chick McGee
But I looked it up. I couldn't find anything. Oh, you did?
Jess Hooker
I did.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Jess Hooker
Yeah. Yeah. And they just said because of the texture change. That's why sometimes people refer to it as fuzzy.
Tom Griswold
No, so wait a minute, I'm confused. So if someone says, hey, those cookies are fuzzy, that doesn't mean there's pot in them.
Jess Hooker
It does, because the pot would change the texture.
Tom Griswold
I see. Okay.
Chick McGee
Well, if you were to give cookies to somebody who, let's say doesn't. Isn't versed in the world of cooked weed.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Chick McGee
For lack of a better. Don't just say, hey, those cookies are fuzzy. Say, oh, there's pot in those. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
You don't wanna.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, yeah.
Josh Arnold
These are weed cookies. Be careful.
Jess Hooker
Yes.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
By the way, there was a great light in that TV show. Your. Is it called Our Friends and Neighbors or your Friends and Neighbors? The one with.
Jeff Oskay
I don't know. I haven't.
Tom Griswold
The one with John Hamm.
Jess Hooker
Oh, yeah.
Tom Griswold
There's a scene at some hen party, if you will, and there's ladies passing around these brownies. These. These are, you know, whatever. Marijuana brownies. And the one lady goes, but are they gluten free?
Chick McGee
Oh, that's funny.
Tom Griswold
Great line.
Chick McGee
Whatever happened to special? I always heard, yeah, those are special brownies.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, you're right. You don't just do that to people. They just always bother me about the great. Backstage at Grateful Dead concerts. They would. They would just. What do they call it? Dosing people without telling them.
Chick McGee
Oh, my gosh. Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
That's irresponsible. So what that is.
Jess Hooker
I've had people ask me to make food and put weed in it. And so I bought these little tiny. They're. I don't know, maybe a half inch. And it just has a weed leaf on it. Marijuana leaf. And I just stick it on there that way.
Chick McGee
Smart.
Jess Hooker
Yeah. Hey, heads up.
Tom Griswold
Really?
Josh Arnold
That's cool.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Let people know.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
That is amazing that that's out there.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
By the way, in my defense, earlier, God knows why, we were talking about Jeff Bezos growing his hair back.
Chick McGee
I saw, I saw a new stuff.
Tom Griswold
But I had read an article about they may have a way. It's something involving gene splicing or some really complicated science stuff I don't understand.
Jeff Oskay
So it's a real thing, but they.
Tom Griswold
Use the word crispr, and crispr is a. It stands for clustered regularly interspaced, short palindromic repeats, which is, is a. Something about the genomes or something. It's a complicated science, but that really is the term. Huh.
Jess Hooker
Every time you say that, I think of like a, like what? I want a Diet Coke, a good Diet Coke, and you get a crispy Diet Coke. That's what I always think.
Chick McGee
Yes, yes. A good cola should be crisp.
Jess Hooker
It could.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Jess Hooker
Everyone wanted good.
Tom Griswold
And I'm with Chick. I think of that lettuce thing in my refrigerator, the crisper.
Chick McGee
Have you heard Diet Coke referred to as a fridge cigarette?
Jess Hooker
I have.
Tom Griswold
What?
Jess Hooker
That's, that's what, Yes. I live with someone who drinks Diet Coke only exclusively Diet Coke, and somebody said, that's like a fridge cigarette. And I. It's hilarious.
Chick McGee
It's like a term that's kind of taken off a little bit, like, oh, man, I eat my fridge cigarette. It's like you take a quick Diet.
Jess Hooker
Coke break, and it's, it's addictive and it suffices something.
Tom Griswold
That's brilliant because in our culture, I think people tend to smoke the same brand of cigarette. Typically.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
But also they tend to drink the same soft drink over and over and over. Chick McGee, I give you Chick Magee. Pepsi.
Jeff Oskay
I had pepsi.
Tom Griswold
And then Mr. Oski, aren't you a Mountain Dew guy?
Josh Arnold
Yep.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Jess Hooker
You drink other pop, though, right?
Chick McGee
You go to a restaurant and look, this rarely happens, but you go to a restaurant, they go, we don't have Mountain Dough Mountain Dew, but we have Mellow Yellow.
Josh Arnold
Oh, I, I, if I'm out, I'm not drinking Mountain Dew. Like, I just have one in the morning to get the ear. Yeah, I just have a Coke.
Chick McGee
Oh, okay.
Josh Arnold
When I'm out.
Chick McGee
Gotcha.
Jess Hooker
Sorry.
Chick McGee
Gotcha.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Now will you go, Will you accept the Diet Coke, Chick?
Jeff Oskay
Oh, yeah, absolutely. Actually, I prefer fountain Diet Coke over fountain Diet Pepsi.
Chick McGee
Gotcha. Yes. I'm kind of with you because there's a syrup thing there.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah. And I don't know why that. Because Diet Coke is a bit popular. More popular than Pepsi. So I don't know if that.
Tom Griswold
I don't know much about science, and I'm not a doctor, but I have found this to be true. If you are not feeling well and you go to McDonald's and get a fountain Coke, it will take. It'll get rid of your headache. I. I always. I can't prove this scientifically.
Chick McGee
No, no, I'm with you.
Jess Hooker
That's another thing that's online right now is people who have migraines that say they will go to McDonald's and get a Diet Coke for that reason.
Tom Griswold
It's the fountain.
Jess Hooker
I don't know if it's something about it.
Jeff Oskay
I see.
Tom Griswold
Maybe it's just the psychology of the group. Group thing.
Chick McGee
But I think a fountain. A fountain Coke for a hangover for me was a must.
Jess Hooker
Oh, yes, absolutely.
Jeff Oskay
Fountain, Diet Coke, a large fry, and a double cheeseburger. Oh, that'll do it. That'll absolutely do it.
Jess Hooker
I might need that right now.
Chick McGee
I really want that.
Jeff Oskay
I can't stand it. I want it so bad.
Tom Griswold
I think. I think you could make money if you could do a business. Hear me out on this. If you're on a freeway in the middle of nowhere, you could have a sign pull over a thousand yards ahead, McDonald's french fry refills drive by. Just slow down to 15 miles an hour. You throw the money out the window. We'll throw them in your car. Because when you stop at McDonald's and you're a long journey, you always want, like, one more bunch of fries, man. Because wouldn't that be great? Just slow down to five miles an hour. Yes, sir. You just heave the French fries in the bags right in there.
Chick McGee
Joey Wednesday. My youngest brother worked at McDonald's for a couple years, and he said that the reason the Coke is so good there is because the Coke people come out and calibrate the machines.
Jess Hooker
Yes.
Chick McGee
So they make sure it's.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Nice.
Tom Griswold
Well, I'm glad we're solving some of the serious problems in the world. Remember the great dog hack? The one guy had, he couldn't get his dog to get in the car because his dog always thought he was going to the vet. He thought he's gonna get shots or whatever. So he took the dog, put him in the car, took him to McDonald's, got him some fries, took him home, put him in the car, went to McDonald's, got some fries. The dog now can't wait to get in the car now.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Tom Griswold
The beauty of that is you, of course, get to eat half the fries by law. Oh, yeah, we all know that. I'm sorry, have we interrupted our sportscast?
Jeff Oskay
No, we've wrapped up sports.
Tom Griswold
Oh, we have. Okay. I thought we had a world record.
Josh Arnold
Record?
Jeff Oskay
No, we did not have a world record. I was not handed a world record. Do you have a world record over there?
Jess Hooker
I might have one of my stack. I haven't gone through it yet.
Tom Griswold
I do. It's. It involves a dog. The headline is Dog turns passion for removing bottle caps into world record. Did I not print that for you?
Jeff Oskay
What?
Tom Griswold
Oh, okay, I'm sorry.
Chick McGee
You didn't. Well, this is good for the dog's mouth or it's not harmful.
Jeff Oskay
Bottle caps.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, it's here. Here's the story. This is from the Guinness World Record, people. Dachshund from Texas. I'm laughing already.
Chick McGee
Yes.
Jeff Oskay
Huh.
Chick McGee
Because the dachshund with a cowboy hat's very fine.
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah. Maybe a little sheriff vest with the.
Tom Griswold
Oh, God, that's huge.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, and the vest.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Because cowboys love dachshunds. I don't know if you know that.
Tom Griswold
They do.
Chick McGee
Their advice was always get a long little doggie.
Josh Arnold
Exactly.
Chick McGee
So, yeah. Yeah. That's a classic.
Tom Griswold
You just came up with that?
Chick McGee
No, that's an old joke.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, that's a very good. That is really good.
Jeff Oskay
Some might say hack.
Tom Griswold
Oh, I know. That's a. That is one great joke that's in the Reader's Digestion. Reader's Digest hall of Fame. A four year old dachshund, by the way, named Jerry. Now, it's in Texas, so I assume it's after Jerry Jones. I don't know. He popped 11 plastic caps off of empty water bottles to claim the title. And I've seen the video. I don't know if you can find this, Jason. Oh, here we go. So this lady throws an empty water bottle.
Jeff Oskay
What do you mean, pop? Pops the cap off.
Tom Griswold
Watch now.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, but have they been open previously?
Chick McGee
They're empty.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, they're empty.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Okay, so they. They're not sealed.
Tom Griswold
So the dog puts his paw on the bottle.
Jeff Oskay
Okay.
Tom Griswold
As you'll be able to see, I think this is kind of going in slow motion. This little dachshund puts his paw on the bottle and reaches down with his mouth and pops the cap off. And that, for some reason wasn't working. Over there.
Chick McGee
But we'll get somebody better.
Tom Griswold
The owner is named. The owner. She has a beautiful name. Safia Priya Eswaran.
Chick McGee
It's a ridiculous name.
Tom Griswold
I'm not sure what the. I don't know what color.
Chick McGee
Say, try to hide your xenophobia by saying she has a beautiful name.
Tom Griswold
No, no. Yeah, I of course would never get associated with lyrically.
Jeff Oskay
It's not in my house, but.
Chick McGee
All right, so there he is.
Tom Griswold
He's biting.
Jeff Oskay
He's biting the cap off.
Tom Griswold
But he's. It's the world record. But he. The fact he puts his left paw. You don't think that's hilarious?
Jeff Oskay
I do like the way he. When he just throw. Throws him down. He's very.
Chick McGee
He's furious.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Give me his little tails wagon. What a cutie pie. God, those are such beautiful.
Jeff Oskay
There's Sadie right there. You like?
Chick McGee
He's got like Doberman colors.
Tom Griswold
Yes, I have, I have changed my. I now I love all dogs now. I, I used to not like smaller dogs, but there's.
Jeff Oskay
I like smaller dogs. I don't care for dachshunds. Oh, I don't know why.
Chick McGee
You can see his wiener there. Did you guys see that?
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, I know. They have their, their, their butt and their wiener on display. I don't. I want to see.
Tom Griswold
They're not shy little guys.
Jeff Oskay
Give me a modest and I think I'd have it. But not one of these. Hey, look at my butt. Here's my.
Chick McGee
You like what you see there, pal?
Jeff Oskay
Like this. Feed me while I drag my across your carpet. Sweet little guy. You looking at me now?
Tom Griswold
Anyway, that's just, that's fun.
Jeff Oskay
Just by the way there's a spilled bottled water everywhere. Thanks a lot.
Chick McGee
That's way safer than I. For some reason I pictured like a non twist off beer being opened by. By a dog.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, he's opening Coronas.
Chick McGee
Y.
Jeff Oskay
There's gotta be brutal.
Tom Griswold
You know, there's some guy that's tried to train a dog open a beer.
Jeff Oskay
A massive dog can bite a beer and it opens. Absolutely.
Tom Griswold
Probably not safe.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
What a cutie little guy. If you're just joining us, hello. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show. Ms. Jess Hooker is sitting in for Christy Lee today and we got a stack of mail and a stack of news stories. Why don't we do a little bit of news here?
Chick McGee
I wish I had a stack.
Tom Griswold
Do you want to. Do you want to continue the dog thing with a story about crypto?
Jess Hooker
Oh, okay.
Tom Griswold
Not the Currency. But Crypto, the Superman's dog. And when I was a kid, I used to read Superman all the time and occasionally crypto would show up. But I don't think he had been in any of the movies until the new one.
Jeff Oskay
That's right.
Jess Hooker
Now, Crypto, the canine star of James Gunn Superman, has helped create a surge in dog adoption interests. According to the dog training app Wolfs.
Tom Griswold
W O O F Z. Yes, you gotta love that.
Chick McGee
Not gonna be confused with the dating app Wolfs. I mean, there's a lot of. No, thanks.
Tom Griswold
It's almost impossible to get your hand to sweep the right way.
Jeff Oskay
We thought it was going to be wolves or swipe left. We didn't decide which.
Jess Hooker
But Google searches for adopted dog near me jumped up 513 after the opening weekend of Superman.
Chick McGee
They really think it's related. Interesting.
Jess Hooker
Yeah. Specific searches for rescue dog adoption near me rose 163.
Chick McGee
How about that?
Tom Griswold
And there's apparently on various social media things that for the Superman movie, they have the link.
Jess Hooker
Oh, good, that's nice.
Tom Griswold
But I heard an interview with him with Mr. Gunn, and apparently this is all based on the dog. Crypto in the movie is kind of based on a dog that he adopted that tore his house to shreds. Oh, yeah, it's everything. So.
Jeff Oskay
But the movie. The dog in the movie doesn't exist. Well, right.
Tom Griswold
It's a. It's a movie, you see. And.
Chick McGee
You mean they did not use a real dog in the movie?
Jeff Oskay
Right.
Tom Griswold
All cgf.
Chick McGee
Well, it looks like a damn real dog, doesn't it?
Tom Griswold
And apparently partly based on his dog. But it looks kind of like crypto from the old comic books.
Chick McGee
Was crypto in the old comic books also sent from Krypton?
Tom Griswold
Yeah, like, how did I forget the backstory?
Jeff Oskay
Okay, well, I think when they sent the capsule with the baby in it, they sent another capsule with a puppy. With the puppy.
Tom Griswold
There was also Supergirl and.
Jeff Oskay
Right.
Tom Griswold
There was Super Girl.
Jeff Oskay
And actually, now that I think about it, there was never any explanation how Supergirl and Superboy and all the. I think there was the others got here. But very elaborate for Superman, but nothing for.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, in the movie, the dog is a terror also. But then of course, helps Superman and that's fun. He trains him. Because this is horrible. Because he's the man of heel.
Chick McGee
Hey, that is horrible.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, I warned you. You could have. You could have turned your ears off, but you didn't get along.
Jeff Oskay
Little doy.
Chick McGee
Yeah, that's looking pretty good now, isn't it?
Jeff Oskay
That really sounding good.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. No, if you Google capes for dogs. Oh, I bet the sad thing is you can get.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Jess Hooker
Oh, yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, I bet that takes off.
Chick McGee
How many cryptos are we going to see trick or treating this year?
Tom Griswold
Now, crypto the dog. Am I correct in saying crypto the dog is with a K?
Jess Hooker
Yes, it is.
Tom Griswold
And cryptocurrency is with a C. That is correct.
Jeff Oskay
Yes.
Chick McGee
And it's been fun. My crypto. I've enjoyed watching, I bet.
Jess Hooker
Yeah. That's awesome.
Tom Griswold
I heard a really interesting conversation yesterday.
Chick McGee
Overheard it, like, at a restaurant or.
Jeff Oskay
No, I was eavesdropping again.
Tom Griswold
I wasn't even. I was at the Apple Store getting a pair ahead of those headphones for my daughter.
Jeff Oskay
Why don't you get an apartment in that building so you can just run down to the Apple Store every day?
Tom Griswold
So it's a long story. Anyway, the two. Two of the guys that worked there were talking, and I got to be kind of careful how I word this, but one of them was involved in a situation in which someone had. Was deceased.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Jeff Oskay
And their explanations are always much worse than what they were talking about.
Tom Griswold
I've already ruined it. I have already said it wrong. How did.
Chick McGee
One of the.
Tom Griswold
Someone had come into the store and told this guy the story that they had the phone of the deceased person, and they knew that this person had a bunch of crypto on that phone.
Chick McGee
Oh, yeah. How can I access it?
Tom Griswold
And how can I access. And they can't. No, they can't get it. So he goes. And then he was telling the guy with him, and I was standing right there. They get this all the time. Wow. People come in going, hey, so and so died. I've got the laptop. I can't get back into it.
Jess Hooker
It.
Tom Griswold
But it's become a bigger issue when they know that someone was in. Had. Whatever it could be tens of thousands of dollars.
Jeff Oskay
Hundreds of thousands.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. In crypto. But I don't have the code to even open up the phone.
Chick McGee
Huh. So you have to look into that.
Jess Hooker
Make sure you have that.
Chick McGee
Somebody.
Jess Hooker
Somebody has it.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Jess Hooker
Just leave me sign up for that job.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah. All your passwords. Yeah, it'd be fine.
Tom Griswold
We already know his password.
Jeff Oskay
I'll take care of you.
Jess Hooker
Pizza. Pizza. Pizza.
Chick McGee
No, that was my old password. Jess.
Tom Griswold
No, it's Mom 69. Okay. See, I know you're thinking, it can't get worse.
Chick McGee
It's mine.
Tom Griswold
But, see, it can get along. That's what this show is all about.
Chick McGee
My mom's first name, 69. You'd have to know that.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Jeff Oskay
Sorry, Betty 69.
Tom Griswold
All right.
Chick McGee
That was my grandma.
Jeff Oskay
Oh.
Tom Griswold
Now we are going to push on. When we get back, I bet their.
Jeff Oskay
Grandmas are like 69.
Tom Griswold
Sure.
Jess Hooker
Stop it.
Jeff Oskay
Absolutely right.
Chick McGee
Yeah, I bet there are. But there are grandpas who insist on it.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, don't you think so?
Tom Griswold
I'm sure Granny likes it a lot more now that Uncle Clarence has no teeth.
Jeff Oskay
Well, or.
Chick McGee
Or vice versa.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, or aunt. Aunt Agnes doesn't have any teeth.
Tom Griswold
You know, Agnes and Clarence hooked up.
Jeff Oskay
Oh.
Tom Griswold
After Gertie died. I had no idea.
Jeff Oskay
Hang on, hang on.
Chick McGee
Google grandparents 69ing right now.
Jeff Oskay
Okay, here we go.
Tom Griswold
How do we get on vulgar road again? I don't know. I blame myself.
Chick McGee
Look at Oscar.
Tom Griswold
He's got his hand in his face. Sorry.
Jess Hooker
You guys are making my hangover worse.
Tom Griswold
Okay. All right. Excuse me. Coming up.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, my God.
Tom Griswold
Coming up. We're going to return here. So when we get back, we'll be here. I hope you are too. In the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show.
Jeff Oskay
More of the show is on the way.
Tom Griswold
You can find us on xobandtom or.
Jeff Oskay
You can email us at bobandtomobandtom.com.
Tom Griswold
Close your eyes.
Jess Hooker
Exhale. Feel your body relax. And let go of whatever you're carrying today. Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts.
Tom Griswold
In time for this class.
Jess Hooker
I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh my gosh, they're so fast. And breathe. Sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry.
Tom Griswold
Namaste. Visit 1-800contacts.com today to save on your first order, 1-800-contacts. I'll tell you more later.
Jeff Oskay
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. At the SILAC Insurance news desk, it's Jess Hooker. Hi, there's Jeff Osk.
Josh Arnold
Hey, man.
Jeff Oskay
Josh Arnold is here. Hello. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Ace. I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom. How are you doing?
Tom Griswold
Great question for you, Ms. Hooker.
Jess Hooker
Yes, go.
Tom Griswold
We. You were talking earlier about this. We were talking about crypto. The dog and Superman.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
And the. There was. They mentioned a website was called like woof Woofs. Wolf. Z with a Z. W O F Z.
Jess Hooker
Yes.
Tom Griswold
Kind of fun.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
And people I guess are inquiring. Inquiring rather about dog adoptions etc etc because of enjoying the movie Superman with crypto.
Chick McGee
Glad to hear it.
Tom Griswold
Is the term wolf referencing a man still a thing that guy's a wolf. Meaning kind of a.
Chick McGee
Like a womanizing.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Remember the cartoon? Cartoon? The wolf would be wearing a zoot suit.
Jess Hooker
Yes.
Tom Griswold
And smoking.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
That's still a thing. I'll stay open.
Jess Hooker
That guy, he's.
Tom Griswold
He's a wolf.
Chick McGee
Wolf.
Jess Hooker
Okay. But it's a womanizer.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
A guy who chases women.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, pretty much.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Harney and may have gone away predatory.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, I just. I think Creep. That's the word.
Jeff Oskay
This is the term. Wolf is where they got this for the cartoons.
Chick McGee
Do you remember the movie the Mask with Jim Carrey?
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Chick McGee
And he's sitting there and then Cameron Diaz comes out and his head turns into a wolf head and he's.
Jess Hooker
I do. There you go. That makes sense. Yeah. That's funny.
Chick McGee
No, there's a great song by Whiskey Myers called the Wolf that is just so badass. It's awesome.
Tom Griswold
As opposed to Hungry like the Wolf.
Chick McGee
I like that one, but I prefer who knows. Yeah, yeah.
Tom Griswold
What do you like about it?
Chick McGee
He says the Whiskey Myers one.
Tom Griswold
No, no, the other one.
Chick McGee
Oh, I. Well, you know me. I'm a Duran Duran fan.
Jeff Oskay
So I realized. Please, please tell me now.
Tom Griswold
Oh, please. I can see over right over there. That would be just hooker. And what she's doing is yawning. She's sleepy. But she's gonna pass some news along from the Silac Insurance news desk. Can we get to this story about the hymens? I find this. Absolutely.
Jess Hooker
Oh, okay, sure. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
We're not talking about the great restaurant Hyman's in Charleston, South Carolina.
Jess Hooker
This is very different. A Texas only fan star says she wants to restore her hymen and return to her Mormon roots.
Chick McGee
Oh, I see. All right.
Jess Hooker
Ms. Holly Jane claims she was kicked out of her church when they found out about her adult work.
Tom Griswold
By the way, Mormon roots. I don't know if you're aware of this, but on the Jimmy Fallon show.
Jess Hooker
Yes.
Tom Griswold
When Questlove is unable to come in and he takes a vacation, the Mormon roots is the band. It's a bunch of white guys. I'm sorry, back to you.
Jess Hooker
Ms. Jane says that she's had an epiphany since then. The 42 year old mother of three told Jam Press, I had a moment in prayer where I felt God speak to me saying, you are not broken. Go and be restored.
Tom Griswold
Okay, so she's gonna restore her hymen.
Jess Hooker
I'm not doing this to undo my past, but to honor how far I've come.
Chick McGee
Hey, do whatever, you guys.
Tom Griswold
I think she's doing it to get more people on Only fans.
Chick McGee
Well, it sounds to me like she's.
Jess Hooker
Gonna quit that she now plans to undergo a hymenoplasty.
Tom Griswold
Who isn't.
Jess Hooker
Also known as a hymen repair, in which the surgeon sews together the torn edges of a woman's hymen with dissolvable stitches.
Chick McGee
I mean, I don't think she has to go this far. I think she can just.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Change and follow whatever life she'd like to. But, boy.
Tom Griswold
I'm suspect that this is.
Chick McGee
That she's being sincere.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
I mean, this isn't this all about getting more people to go to her Only fans page.
Chick McGee
And I said, really? If she's doing all this, that would tell me she's quitting all that?
Jess Hooker
Yeah, that's the assumption. But I don't know.
Chick McGee
I mean, if she's using this sort of life changing thing as an excuse to get people to go to her porn site, my gosh, shame on you.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, but.
Tom Griswold
And no one has a hymen after having three kids anyway.
Jeff Oskay
Exactly.
Chick McGee
I mean, you can lose it by riding a bicycle. There's no reason for us to mansplain hymens.
Jess Hooker
But yes, I'm enjoying it. Go home.
Chick McGee
They're often. They are often lost outside of sex.
Tom Griswold
Yes, there was restoration. Except I know when Godwin was in jail, he had to have his rectal hymen a resound.
Jeff Oskay
That's not what you mean. You mean the ol. Ac. Yeah, well, this would be like a.
Tom Griswold
Man wanting to ask Jerry.
Jeff Oskay
Reclaim their foreskin, Right?
Chick McGee
Yeah. There are people out there that want to do that too.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Jess Hooker
Can you do that?
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, there's like a system of weights and pulleys you can hook yourself up to.
Jess Hooker
It's not an.
Jeff Oskay
Some guy invented something that goes over a headboard while you're sleeping that stretches you out and.
Chick McGee
Holy cow.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, I think it was in Mental Illness Monthly. How do I.
Jeff Oskay
Well, I mean, of course, someone with an open mind, like Tom.
Chick McGee
Right. Probably wouldn't.
Tom Griswold
Wouldn't be, Doc.
Jeff Oskay
I'd like to get much use.
Tom Griswold
This is insane.
Chick McGee
Yeah, this. I don't think this girl. I hope somebody advises her. Hey, you don't have. Have to do that surgery.
Tom Griswold
I. Again, I think it's a money grab.
Jeff Oskay
Okay.
Chick McGee
I sure hope not.
Jeff Oskay
Which is crazier, Hyman restoration or foreskin reclamation?
Tom Griswold
Oh, well, that's. They're. They're both in the same level of idiocy.
Chick McGee
I'm not calling them idiots or mental.
Tom Griswold
It's like saying, who's a Better guitar player Jeff Beck or Stevie Ray Vaughan. They're both great. Which.
Jeff Oskay
Well, that means that both Hyman and For. Is it great? What are you talking about?
Tom Griswold
Wait a minute. Bad analogy? No, I just. It's ridiculous.
Jeff Oskay
Is it the fact that it deals with sex?
Tom Griswold
No. The fact that you're going public with something like this and this is all this is narcissistic money grab idiot.
Chick McGee
I hope not. I hope the best for her.
Jeff Oskay
Well, I mean, we have to remember that Tom's biggest fear is not death. It's the things that people will find after he dies. He doesn't want to be embarrassed.
Tom Griswold
You're talking about my high mood collection.
Jeff Oskay
After. After he's passed away. That's his big deal.
Chick McGee
If.
Jeff Oskay
Please, I have a box.
Tom Griswold
Well, Jess, you're the only one in the room. Who's this one experienced? The Hyman?
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Your thoughts on this? Do you think this is crazy?
Jess Hooker
I, I. To each their own, I guess. If. Yeah, if this is what you feel like you have to do.
Chick McGee
Can't you have a spiritual rebirth without getting the surgery?
Jess Hooker
I think you can, but maybe for some people, they need. Need the tangible action.
Chick McGee
Sure, I suppose.
Tom Griswold
Why can't a psychiatrist say, excuse me, ma', am, you're nuts?
Chick McGee
Yeah, because that's not necessarily appropriate in the situation she made. There may be zero mental illness here.
Jeff Oskay
And how constructive is that? That's why you're not a therapist.
Tom Griswold
The therapist goes, well, then she's not going to come back next year.
Jeff Oskay
Look, Josh, you're insane and there's nothing I can do for you.
Tom Griswold
Sure. That's happened.
Jess Hooker
There's. Yeah, there's some people that do need to hear that, though.
Jeff Oskay
That's malpractice.
Chick McGee
Wouldn't that be malpractice?
Tom Griswold
Okay. Okay, so I'm sorry. Coming up. What have you got over there?
Jess Hooker
We've got a sex toy heist at Walmart.
Jeff Oskay
All right, we're going in. We're going to steal $4,000 worth of dildos and then we're going to. It's a caper movie.
Tom Griswold
They have sex toys at Walmart.
Jess Hooker
They do. Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
With. Well, we put.
Tom Griswold
Kevin, Are they in the sporting goods section? Where do they put them?
Jess Hooker
They're next to the tampons.
Tom Griswold
Oh, really?
Jess Hooker
Yeah. Honest, huh? Yeah, there's some. Some sex. There's lube and some sexual aids.
Jeff Oskay
And they're called family planning or something. I think that's the section. Or something like that.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, yeah, something like that.
Chick McGee
Wow.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, it's in the same aisle as.
Tom Griswold
And there was a A heist.
Jess Hooker
There's a heist.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Jeff Oskay
Kevin Hart's gonna be in the movie. Oh, dildo heist. It's gonna make a million.
Tom Griswold
This lady, the previous lady is going to be Hyman. Heist.
Jeff Oskay
Officer, they stole my Hyman. Clearly you're insane.
Tom Griswold
That's all coming up. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Got a text us at 888-262-8661. This is the Bob and Tom show at blinds.com it's not just about window treatments. It's about you. Your style, your space, your way. Whether you DIY or want the pros to handle it all, you'll have the confidence of knowing it's done right. From free expert design help to our 100% satisfaction guarantee, everything we do is made to fit your life and your windows.
Jeff Oskay
Because@blinds.com the only thing we treat better.
Tom Griswold
Than windows is you. Visit blinds.com now for up to 50% off with minimum purchase plus a professional measure at no cost. Rules and restrictions apply.
Jeff Oskay
Hey, welcome Back to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. It's the Bob and Tom show with Jess Hooker at the Silac Insurance news desk. Hi, there's Jevoske.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Hello, Josh, Arnold.
Chick McGee
Hi there.
Jeff Oskay
Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick Magee. We're in the studios of O'Reilly Auto Parts. Hello, Tom.
Tom Griswold
Learning a lot of new stuff today.
Jeff Oskay
Many, many things.
Tom Griswold
Learned the word hymenoplasty for this lady who.
Jeff Oskay
That doesn't seem right.
Tom Griswold
She wants.
Jeff Oskay
What is it? There's an ostomy.
Tom Griswold
Well, there's a rhinoplasty I believe is a nose job, right?
Jeff Oskay
No, but there's an ostomy and an ectomy. And ectomy is taking something away, right?
Tom Griswold
Appendectomy, taking your appendix.
Chick McGee
Right. I think plasty is reforming or rebuilding.
Tom Griswold
Okay, ergo plastic surgery. But the hymenoplasty. Yes, I am talking down to him. Look what I'm dealing with.
Jeff Oskay
The I'm alone.
Tom Griswold
I don't know if you've heard the hymenoplasty. This lady is a Mormon.
Jeff Oskay
This lady's a.
Tom Griswold
Well, I think that goes without saying. She's so called. She's described as an only fans star from Texas.
Jeff Oskay
Well, maybe she is.
Tom Griswold
And we saw a photograph of her and she's wearing a. What would you describe. How is that lingerie, Mr. Rossi?
Josh Arnold
Like a lingerie outfit?
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
And not only that, but it's a basic lingerie outfit. Wouldn't you Agree. Tom, of course, immediately eyeballed it as a swimsuit.
Chick McGee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Josh Arnold
It had a garter belt.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
And he called it.
Jeff Oskay
I don't know where you're swimming, but I want to join you.
Chick McGee
Yeah, no kidding.
Jeff Oskay
Holy hell.
Tom Griswold
But again, she. This. I. For her to say this is getting back to her religious roots to have her Hyman replaced after having three kids. I think this is a money grab because there'll be people on Only Fans that find this somehow attractive.
Jess Hooker
Well, we'll see.
Chick McGee
If she's honest. If she's honest, that Only Fans account is done. Right now. It's not accessible.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Otherwise, my gosh. Yeah. Hey. See the new hymen I got for my religion? Oh, geez.
Tom Griswold
But it's not a transplant. It's hers. It's just been kind of refurbished.
Jess Hooker
I didn't know that's how that worked like that. That's. I. I guess I thought when it was broken it just goes away.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Jess Hooker
I don't know. Yeah. It's not.
Chick McGee
It kind of snaps and then dissolves.
Jess Hooker
Dissolves.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, it does.
Jess Hooker
Like.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Like flapping around there for years. Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
I.
Tom Griswold
This whole thing is, I think fake.
Jeff Oskay
Well, that's. I understand it. It flaps around and you got to get up in there and keep pushing it back.
Tom Griswold
Thanks. Thanks. You know, we could do a.
Jeff Oskay
We're trying to.
Tom Griswold
We should write a book as men of how we perceive the human anatomy.
Jeff Oskay
Yes.
Tom Griswold
Because I know so little about it.
Chick McGee
Well, look at the. The Hyman is essentially that small plastic ring below a bottle cap.
Jeff Oskay
Right.
Chick McGee
And you take that off. Try putting that back on.
Jeff Oskay
It's not.
Chick McGee
It's not that easy.
Tom Griswold
What did you learn that while you're trying to poison stuff that's sealed for your protection?
Chick McGee
No poison, but.
Tom Griswold
Okay. It's time to move forward Here at the Silac Insurance news desk. It's. It's the very sleepy Jess Hooker.
Josh Arnold
It is.
Jess Hooker
A man in Florida has been arrested for his alleged involvement in a pair of sex toy heists. According to police, 40 year old Jeffrey Laforge took a variety of adult toys from Walmart in South Pasadena on two separate occasions.
Tom Griswold
So again, I didn't realize Walmart sold old dildos.
Chick McGee
How graphic are they?
Jess Hooker
They're not. It's like a little like the mini bullet. And there's things. Yeah.
Chick McGee
So some of the more discreet.
Tom Griswold
Look at the name of this thing though.
Jess Hooker
Yeah. So the. The police report details the stolen goods worth $280. They include a so called tush toy.
Jeff Oskay
Oh.
Jess Hooker
An oral stroker and Something and something called the Love honey mon ami. G spot suction vibrator, mon ami.
Tom Griswold
It's French.
Jess Hooker
Oh, I don't. Sorry.
Chick McGee
What does monami mean?
Jeff Oskay
Loved one. Right. Yeah, a friend of mine.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. The Love Honeymoon ami. G spot suction vibrator. And it says. It's. This is in the police report.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, that's.
Tom Griswold
But keep. The next line is the one that kills me. So, so far, this guy's stolen an.
Chick McGee
Oral stroker, and I'm looking those up.
Tom Griswold
A tush toy. But the Love honey moan on me. G spot suction vibrator. And.
Jess Hooker
And the man is also accused of stealing a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.
Chick McGee
Hey, I get that. Oh, no.
Jess Hooker
Peanut butter ice cream. Ice cream. Sorry.
Tom Griswold
I mean, the guy's planning a very specific type of party.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, yeah, he was arrested for felony theft.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Jess Hooker
Did you find the.
Chick McGee
Yeah, they kind of look like a Kong ball. They're nothing.
Jeff Oskay
What?
Chick McGee
It's. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Which one?
Chick McGee
The oral stroker.
Josh Arnold
Do you put peanut butter on the.
Tom Griswold
Inside just like you do for your dog? Maybe you put a Reese's. A little bit of Reese's ice cream. It's gonna be kind of cold, honey.
Chick McGee
It doesn't have, like, you know, anatomically correct.
Jess Hooker
Will you look up the Love honey mon ami?
Chick McGee
Look up. I've got it saved.
Jess Hooker
She spot suction vibrator.
Josh Arnold
Well, you gotta get the ice cream. That way the kids are distracted while you're in the bedroom using your new sex toys.
Tom Griswold
That or the guy has a sweet tooth.
Jess Hooker
Ice cream for dinner again? Yeah, that's right.
Jeff Oskay
I'm a huge bubba.
Tom Griswold
Did you find it?
Chick McGee
No, I don't know how to spell Mona, Mi or whatever M, O, N. New word.
Tom Griswold
Am I right?
Jess Hooker
Yes.
Tom Griswold
Maybe.
Jess Hooker
Yes.
Chick McGee
Oh, like love.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Chick McGee
Love honey.
Tom Griswold
The Love honey G spot suction vibrator.
Jess Hooker
Ah, it sounds like a mouthful. Does it look like it?
Chick McGee
No, I'm not finding it anywhere.
Jess Hooker
Oh, okay.
Chick McGee
Yeah, sorry.
Tom Griswold
I'm afraid to Google it. I don't want to get on some list.
Jess Hooker
Oh, you're on a list.
Chick McGee
I'm on 75 lists.
Tom Griswold
Wow.
Chick McGee
Love honeymoon. Oh, here we go.
Tom Griswold
Go.
Chick McGee
It looks like a fl. Oh, we've seen these. We've had these.
Jess Hooker
Oh, that is. Yeah.
Chick McGee
Oh, so the one I'm seeing, it.
Jess Hooker
Looks like a rose there. Yes.
Chick McGee
So, yeah, that's the couple's massager there.
Jeff Oskay
Seven speeds and passes.
Chick McGee
The pleasure air rose 10 intensity levels. And it really is just for that.
Tom Griswold
Looks like. That looks like a version of that thing. When you've got a little kid and you put that thing in their nose and it sucks the boogers out.
Chick McGee
Yeah, without the stem, I guess.
Tom Griswold
Wow.
Chick McGee
No, this just sucks the old.
Jeff Oskay
Wouldn't you like to have one of those as an adult to suck the boogers out of your nose?
Jess Hooker
You can use.
Chick McGee
Oh, I love using my fingers.
Jess Hooker
They're not exclusive to babies.
Tom Griswold
It's just hard to explain. Right next to the tweezers, I've got my booger sucker.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Ever get a booger you can't get. You reach way up in there, you know, the base of your brain, of course.
Tom Griswold
You know, I like. I like sex toys. Back in the farm, I used to. He's put a corn cob in the microwave. A 1978 issue of Beaver. Huh?
Jeff Oskay
You know what you need is put a calf's liver in the microwave, heat it up just so you got to be careful.
Tom Griswold
You know that corn cob goes, don't you? You got a keister that maybe to really get the.
Jeff Oskay
You got a keister that baby.
Tom Griswold
Well, again, I did not know that. We're learning a lot. I know Walmart had sex toys.
Chick McGee
Yeah, I'd heard Target did.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Chick McGee
So I guess Walmart went, hey, why?
Jess Hooker
Like I said, there might be five different items.
Chick McGee
Sam Walton spinning in his grave, isn't he?
Tom Griswold
Yeah, he probably wouldn't have allowed that.
Chick McGee
Yeah, yeah, there's a chance.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. You pad your order when you get the.
Jeff Oskay
What?
Tom Griswold
If you're going to Walmart and buy a sex toy, would you. Oh, get some things. Things to distract. Unless you.
Jeff Oskay
But you know what?
Chick McGee
Padding your order at Walmart is kind of the. That's what you do at Walmart.
Jeff Oskay
You get some cheese balls and ginger snap cookies and. Yeah, yeah.
Tom Griswold
But of course, the. What's the classic trope? You've got like eight items up there and you're kind of embarrassed about it. And they can't scan. Oh, yeah, they can't scan the dildo and the Vaseline. They do a price check.
Chick McGee
Price check on the episiotomy maker.
Jeff Oskay
And that's that great joke. Do you want the kind of push in with your finger or pound in with a hammer. Right. Tampons or tacks?
Chick McGee
There's tax involved.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tom Griswold
There's a joke in there somewhere.
Jeff Oskay
There is.
Tom Griswold
You'll have to read. Refurbish that.
Jeff Oskay
Write it yourself at home.
Tom Griswold
Okay, thank you very much. What's coming up in the news?
Jess Hooker
You can't have sex after hair transplant apparently, or your head will blow up.
Tom Griswold
Well, this is.
Jeff Oskay
It's a little late to get this kind of feedback.
Tom Griswold
I believe they. I think there's a time frame.
Jeff Oskay
Oh.
Tom Griswold
Much the way there is with heart surgery.
Jess Hooker
Yes.
Tom Griswold
I think Chick and I are both aware of this.
Jeff Oskay
Did he give you the speech that he gave me? No.
Tom Griswold
But you. This. You did this way before Schimmel did it.
Jeff Oskay
I said you have to wait six weeks to have sex with your wife.
Tom Griswold
Your doctor told you this.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah. But eight weeks for it would have sex with anybody else.
Chick McGee
Right.
Jeff Oskay
And the. The old battle ax is sitting right there.
Chick McGee
Thanks a lot, Doc. They have to tell you that. Isn't that crazy?
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
You have to wonder if that's like a great inside cardiologist gag.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
I got him with whatever they're called cardiac surgeons. Go. Okay, here's what do you do.
Jess Hooker
Watch me.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
When the old lady's sitting there, what you do is you say to the.
Jeff Oskay
Guy, in the doctor's defense, it didn't take much to me piss her off. What is it? Is it Gaffigan? No, it's. What's his face. He was just here. The bald guy who's a firefighter. Dyer. Dyer said the thing that pisses his wife off. As near as I can tell, it's oxygen.
Tom Griswold
Well, thanks for mentioning Dave Dyer. Great comedian. Dave is going to be at the Roxy in Rochester, Michigan tonight. Tonight only.
Jeff Oskay
What do you think of that?
Tom Griswold
That's cool. While I'm at it, Joe Dombrowski is going to be at the funny bone in St. Louis tonight and tomorrow.
Jeff Oskay
That dude hilarious. Go up to him and tell him you heard him on the Bob and Tom show. It really freaks him out.
Tom Griswold
Oh, yeah. And then he's going to be at Comedy Off Broadway, the great club in Lexington, Kentucky. Coming up August 23rd and 24th forth. That is a Friday Saturday. And I know Pat McGann is going to be in here Monday morning, but he'll be at the Helium Comedy Club at Indy Saturday and Sunday of this weekend. I think we've covered almost everybody. Not quite. But some of our friends that are out there doing some great stuff. Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. Of course. Patty g. Is at McCurdy's in Sarasota, Florida. What is tonight, tomorrow and Sunday. So go see Pat. He's got a great live show. And be sure to request something he doesn't play. I'd recommend orange barrels.
Jeff Oskay
Just keep yelling orange toast.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, toast orange barrel. Once again, we turned to Chick Magee for some life saving advice.
Jeff Oskay
Simply safe. How would you like peace of mind? Oh, that's a big enchilada. But not with Simplisafe. It's a system that works to prevent a break in from ever happening at your compound. I trust Simplisafe to protect my home. And you should too. For decades now and we use Simplisafe here at the Bob and Tom studios. Most security systems only take action after someone's already in your house.
Tom Griswold
Simply say we're now getting letters. By the way, we said should we have our Simplisafe cameras put posted on the Internet?
Jeff Oskay
People would love it.
Tom Griswold
And of course people want to do that.
Jeff Oskay
Of course they do. Simplisafe has active guard outdoor protection, help stop break ins before they happen. AI powered cameras, live monitoring agents detect suspicious activity and they can talk to the lurkers in real time. Turn on spotlights, call the police.
Tom Griswold
Peace.
Jeff Oskay
Proactively deterring crime before it starts. No contracts, no hidden fees. 4 million plus Americas Americans trust simply safe. And right now, your special deal because you know us. Go to simplisafetom.com and get 50% off a new system system with a professional monitoring plan and your first month free. Half off. First month free. Simplisafetom.com there's no safe like simply safe.
Tom Griswold
Thank you very much, Chick Magee. Coming up from the news desk, it'll be the semi sleepy Jess Hooker talking about a weird story about science and sloths. It's hard to say sloths with a dry mouth. We have an odd science investigation of flatulence and the common sloth.
Jeff Oskay
Canned sloths and koalas make.
Chick McGee
Oh my gosh.
Tom Griswold
The answer would be a hard no.
Jeff Oskay
I don't know.
Tom Griswold
Also, we have a kiss cam. Something has gone wrong with a kiss cam at a Coldplay show that's. I'm not sure if it's funny or it's tragic or I've never seen a.
Chick McGee
Kiss cam during a concert. That's fun.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, that is odd.
Jess Hooker
Yeah. These people obviously didn't know there was one.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Oh, really?
Tom Griswold
You'll find out why when we come Back to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios where this is the Bob and Town.
Jeff Oskay
Show.
Tom Griswold
From the award winning morning show on America's favorite radio station, the Ticket, the musers, the podcast.
Jeff Oskay
So right now we're podcasting? No, not yet. He just put us into it.
Tom Griswold
No, I was accidentally podcasting.
Jeff Oskay
We were for a second, but we're not now. Well, we want to. We want to start intentionally podcast. That was accidental. That was a false start. 3, 3, 2, 1.
Tom Griswold
Every Wednesday, Junior Miller, George Dunham and Gordon Keith drop a new episode of of the Musers the podcast. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.
Jeff Oskay
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Top show. I don't know what's. What's going on here in the studio, but I feel like reminds me of high school football in November in central Ohio where you're freezing. You're blowing on your hands because there's a 20 mile an hour, 30 degree wind blowing. Blowing through your helmet. Did you mess with the air conditioning?
Tom Griswold
I did not touch it.
Jess Hooker
What's it say?
Josh Arnold
58, 69.
Chick McGee
Oh, I mean it does feel much lower than that.
Jeff Oskay
It feels real cold, but evidently not.
Chick McGee
No, no, you're right. It's freezing in here.
Jeff Oskay
Jess Hooker, Jeff Oscar, Josh Arnold, Ace Cosby. We're all here in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Hello, Tom.
Tom Griswold
Hello, Chick.
Jeff Oskay
Were you here?
Tom Griswold
Ms. Hooker, for the dumb story we had earlier this week about this, you'd.
Jess Hooker
Have to be more specific.
Tom Griswold
I know. No, this one was dumb. Some. I think it was some British scientist said that if you put yogurt.
Jess Hooker
Yes.
Tom Griswold
On your. On your windows it will help cool your in the summer. Help keep the heat out.
Jess Hooker
Yes.
Jeff Oskay
What is that joke that you smeared on your back door? What isn't there.
Chick McGee
Tom did that joke.
Jeff Oskay
That's what I thought.
Tom Griswold
No, no, the joke. I forgot. I made a joke. Yeah. If, if, if you want to keep the sun out of your back door, you use Greek yogurt. Thank you. Thank you. Because you know the Greeks, nothing but play.
Jeff Oskay
That's right.
Tom Griswold
Why would anyone think of something that stupid?
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Wouldn't it be really expensive to cover your windows in yogurt?
Chick McGee
Number one? I think so. It's not that cheap.
Tom Griswold
And then I guess if you want to. I forget. Was it in England? I can't even remember where I brought it up.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, just close your curtains.
Chick McGee
I mean anything else is fine. Fine yogurt.
Jeff Oskay
What does putting aluminum foil on the windows do? Like the king. Remember the king?
Tom Griswold
Well, it keeps all the light out.
Jeff Oskay
It keeps all the light out, but it keeps.
Chick McGee
Keeps the government from reading your thoughts.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, we all know that.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
I didn't take. I didn't think of that angle.
Tom Griswold
Do you. I have one of those aluminum kind of things in my car, the windshield.
Jeff Oskay
I know you do.
Tom Griswold
Those are those work really well?
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
How long does it take you to put it in the windshield Each and every time. Because I see you having to get out of the car, going to the back where it is.
Tom Griswold
Unfurl it.
Jeff Oskay
You. You can't unfurl it before you get sweating.
Chick McGee
So Bad.
Tom Griswold
Oh, yeah, I've kind of got it down. There is one they make that. It.
Jeff Oskay
Well, they have cartoon characters on them.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. But there's. There's. There's one they make that. It's actually two different ones. And it's. It's got some kind of spring thing. You pop it out and it like. Kind of like an umbrella real quick.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
My favorite one is the Bert Nurney or on.
Jess Hooker
They're driving the cars.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, it was like they're driving the car.
Chick McGee
Oh, yeah. And Ernie's giving bird roadhood.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, that's.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, Yeah.
Jess Hooker
I love that episode.
Jeff Oskay
That was a very special Sesame Street.
Chick McGee
And people wonder why their funding was pulled.
Tom Griswold
It was a doctor. Dr. Ben Roberts of Lowbrow University in the UK is the one said spray.
Jeff Oskay
Did you say Low Brow University?
Tom Griswold
Lowborough.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, okay.
Tom Griswold
Which I've never heard of. Must be one of the lesser universities.
Jeff Oskay
I've never heard of it. I must be for average people.
Tom Griswold
But if you want to. Anyway, this suggest. I suppose you could do with your car too.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Instead of. Instead of having a winter again, very expensive, but maybe they have a lot.
Jess Hooker
Of extra yogurt over there.
Chick McGee
And like. Chick said it for a while there. It's got to smell bad.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, yeah.
Jess Hooker
Until it's dry.
Chick McGee
And then you need a yogurt.
Tom Griswold
And don't use that activa stuff or the birds are going to crap all over your car. That is one thing. I'm sorry.
Josh Arnold
I tried it. The fruit kept smearing on my windows.
Jess Hooker
How'd that go?
Josh Arnold
It didn't work.
Tom Griswold
Jess Hooker sitting in for Christy Lee and she's sitting right there at the SILAC Insurance news desk. What's happening?
Chick McGee
Boy, Jess, what a comedic foil you are. I tried it. The fruit kept smearing on the windows. How'd that go?
Josh Arnold
That was the proper response to that dumbass joke. You nailed it, Jess.
Jeff Oskay
Does anybody eat the fruit cocktail cups anymore? Like in the cup?
Tom Griswold
No.
Chick McGee
It's like high school. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jeff Oskay
No, it's like a high. A high school cafeteria staple.
Jess Hooker
It's just sugar.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, it's a ghastly soap. Syrup.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Chick McGee
I mean, I loved it when I was a kid. Now it would probably gag me, but.
Jeff Oskay
It'D be too sweet. You think?
Jess Hooker
Yeah, I like the real stuff.
Tom Griswold
And it's. They're all soft and gooey. Do you ever eat those peaches that are in the can?
Jess Hooker
I love.
Chick McGee
I don't mind those. I don't get them, but I don't mind them.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Is it peaches in the can. A pornographic film probably. Yeah.
Jess Hooker
Okay.
Jeff Oskay
There's an actress named Peaches, of course, likes it in the can.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Chick McGee
You know, I love it in the can.
Tom Griswold
It doesn't necessarily like it. She just says that so she can.
Chick McGee
What can you imagine? Preview a classy.
Jeff Oskay
I like it.
Josh Arnold
Any.
Chick McGee
Do you think any woman in the last year has looked at their. Their man and said, yeah, I really want it in the can.
Tom Griswold
So.
Jeff Oskay
So.
Tom Griswold
So he hauls her by her hair into the bathroom.
Jeff Oskay
Honey, you know how to talk to me. Oh, you're such a lady.
Tom Griswold
That be a great show. You tour the country trying find. To find bad dirty talk.
Chick McGee
Right, right, right.
Tom Griswold
Just that people didn't quite get it right.
Jeff Oskay
In the. In the panties your mother laid out for you.
Chick McGee
Right, right.
Tom Griswold
Sorry. Where were we? Oh, we were asking Ms. Hooker if she wanted to participate.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, I'll read a story for you. A kiss cam moment broadcast at Coldplay's Boston concert is going viral after apparently exposing a couple's affair. The video captured at Gillette Stadium shows the camera panning to a blonde woman with a man embracing her from behind. Mind. Oh, it's. I'm. It's not like that. It's like he just has his hands around her waist.
Tom Griswold
Oh, okay.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
This thing is everywhere.
Jess Hooker
It's insane. As they realize that they are on the big screen, the woman covers her face with her hands and the man ducks down out of frame completely. Jason, do you have this? Oh, this is rough.
Josh Arnold
This is great.
Tom Griswold
And then.
Jess Hooker
Okay, that's them. And look how big it is.
Tom Griswold
They're on the kiss cam and he immediately gets down and. And hides. She turns her back and then as.
Jess Hooker
The funniest part is, her friend on the left is going, oh, you guys are so screwed.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, you guys are busted.
Tom Griswold
And.
Chick McGee
Well, wait a minute. Didn't the guy stand back up and he had his arms up in the air and he was pointing and.
Tom Griswold
No, that was the guy next to him, I think.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, I don't. I don't think.
Chick McGee
Look at the shirts. They're the exact same.
Tom Griswold
Oh, is it? Okay, wait a minute. Hanko. The guy goes down. He's hiding.
Jeff Oskay
They're hiding.
Chick McGee
Oh, no, you're right. It's a different blue shirt guy. That guy. Guy comes. That guy comes in the frame. Yeah.
Jess Hooker
Waves.
Chick McGee
So they.
Tom Griswold
So the guy's hiding. The woman turns around and then.
Chick McGee
So they definitely don't want to be seen.
Jess Hooker
Well, and then Mr. Mr. Martin. Chris Martin jokes. Either they're having an affair or they're just very shy.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Jess Hooker
That's calls him out on camera. After the clip spread across all social media platforms, Internet sleuths identified the man as Astronomer. CEO.
Tom Griswold
That's a company called Astronomer.
Chick McGee
Okay, Internet.
Tom Griswold
He's not an astronomer.
Chick McGee
I'd like to meet an Internet sleuth. Just a loser.
Jess Hooker
I've met a couple. His name is Andy Byron, and the woman is Kristen Cabot, the company's head of hr.
Jeff Oskay
Whoa. Well, there you go.
Tom Griswold
Well, the issue is he apparently is.
Jess Hooker
Yeah. The New York Post. Mr. Byron appears to be married to Megan kerrigan Byron, while Ms. Cabot is divorced.
Chick McGee
Way to go, Internet.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Chick McGee
I know these people shouldn't be having an affair if they are, but you've destroyed some lives. Well done.
Jeff Oskay
But why, if you're.
Tom Griswold
That.
Jeff Oskay
If you're worried about being seen that much, why would you go to a Coldplay concert?
Jess Hooker
Who has a kiss cam at a. At a concert?
Tom Griswold
No, but also, here's the other aspect of this. If you go to any concert or any football game or whatever, you're going to see people. You know, I went to. And this is pretentious. I'm sorry. I went to a concert in London two weeks ago. My sister lives over there.
Jess Hooker
There.
Jeff Oskay
Yes, you did. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
London, England. Sitting 50ft away from me are people who live maybe a mile from my house.
Jess Hooker
Right.
Jeff Oskay
Right around the corner.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Kelly walks over. Hey, that's. We're in a different country.
Chick McGee
At a concert, the 1% are going to be.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Going to one percenter thing.
Jeff Oskay
Tend to gravitate to 1 percenters. That's part of it.
Tom Griswold
Josh, I'm sure if you go to. What. What's your favorite band again? Although they wear the cans on their head.
Chick McGee
Cans on their head.
Jeff Oskay
They wear masks.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Who is it again?
Chick McGee
Slipknot is one of my favorite.
Tom Griswold
Slipknot. So let's say you go to see Slipknot in Fresno, California.
Jeff Oskay
Right. It's not London, England.
Tom Griswold
It's perfectly possible. It's perfectly pos. Possible that you're going to run into someone from your pizza party group.
Jeff Oskay
From your pizza party. Oh, good Lord, man.
Tom Griswold
Sorry. Should I have said it's Onanism Club? Okay, let's see.
Jeff Oskay
You know, I don't think Onanism gets enough respect. You keep to yourself, okay? I'm not bothering anybody.
Tom Griswold
It's got a one. It's got a one in it. Am I making my point, though? If you go into a public place.
Jeff Oskay
Would it do us any good if we told you you're not making your point? I don't.
Chick McGee
It just makes Me sick.
Jeff Oskay
No.
Tom Griswold
If you're. This guy's having an illicit affair, would you go anywhere in public where there are thousands of people? Odds are you're gonna see somebody or they're gonna see you.
Chick McGee
Yeah, but they're kind of behind every. I mean, I don't know, they're being fairly discreet. I just don't like the state of the world that the Internet jumped on this and so called Internet sleuths looked who these people were. You know how hard that must have been to not have any names at all and somehow.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Do you think go outside and live a life.
Tom Griswold
No, but I. This is happening. Anything to. I think right now. Anything that's distracting from the endless political crap.
Chick McGee
Well, it's easy to not listen to that and not do stuff like this.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
It did take some effort to look up their name.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Jess Hooker
Oh, and people were all over it. And hits on the Astronomer website went up 513%.
Tom Griswold
And the company's like a billion dollar.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, yeah, 1.2 billion. Doesn't it say that his AI and.
Tom Griswold
Data company didn't his wife immediately shut down all her social media?
Jess Hooker
Yeah, she did.
Josh Arnold
She took his day. She took her last name off of everything.
Chick McGee
And you guys know all this stuff? Yeah, man. So you took the time to read Internet Sleuth Because.
Tom Griswold
Because I'd rather read about this than about the. The Jeffrey Epstein client.
Chick McGee
You don't have to either, is what I'm saying.
Josh Arnold
It's not.
Chick McGee
They're not mutually exclusive.
Jeff Oskay
If you don't try it, go home and watch bugged bunny cartoons like I do.
Tom Griswold
So what you're saying, Josh, is this guy's on the Epstein client list I can't wait to get my hands on.
Jeff Oskay
Do you think. Do you think if the Internet wasn't what the Internet is, that there'd still be cameras everywhere? Like there are maybe.
Tom Griswold
Yes.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Really?
Tom Griswold
Definitely.
Chick McGee
But I just don't like the. It just appeals to that part of human nature that's so ugly.
Jess Hooker
Yes.
Chick McGee
Celebrate the pain of these people now and gossiping and. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tom Griswold
I just feel bad this is going to ruin Cold War play for both of them.
Chick McGee
Yeah, you're right.
Tom Griswold
It's such great music. And now it's. That's. That's been ruling.
Chick McGee
Never get to enjoy yellow again.
Tom Griswold
Oh, yeah.
Josh Arnold
I just want to know what excuse he gave his wife. Like where he was that night. Like how he got to go to a Coldplay concert without her.
Jess Hooker
Oh, well, that's. That's.
Josh Arnold
It's not like you can be like Me and the boys are gonna go check out.
Chick McGee
I think in this case it was probably because they were co workers.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, I bet it was.
Chick McGee
You guys said maybe they were out.
Jess Hooker
Of town, maybe they're not from the area, you know.
Chick McGee
Hey, we got the company box.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, yeah.
Tom Griswold
HR stands for hot rear.
Jeff Oskay
I remember. I remember hearing this for the first time. I just. It's just h. Great song.
Chick McGee
Yeah. This whole album, I love. Oh, yeah, Yeah. I don't care who I. I know people hate Coldplay. Oh, these poor.
Josh Arnold
These things.
Tom Griswold
But yeah, this is the word. It ruined it for these people just.
Josh Arnold
Going to be crying to the song. Yeah.
Chick McGee
You know what? I hope they get married. If they are having an affair, I hope. And they love each other, I hope they go, you know what? Thank you, world.
Josh Arnold
This is.
Chick McGee
This is the kick in the pants we needed to.
Tom Griswold
Wouldn't it be great if. What if the stock in this company skyrockets and she. She has half and cashes out quickly every.
Jess Hooker
This.
Tom Griswold
Everyone's a winner here.
Jeff Oskay
And in five years, they. They and anybody else want to have an affair so we can goose the stock price.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, that's what I'm. That's what I think.
Chick McGee
And Chris Martin officiates the wedding.
Jess Hooker
Yeah. Oh, that'd be funny if people start making these plants, you know, and.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, yeah.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
So help me here. How do you. How did somebody figure out who this guy was? Yeah, how in the hell do they use.
Chick McGee
You know what?
Tom Griswold
I bet it was facial recognition technology potentially. And.
Chick McGee
But I. I bet somebody else went, I know who that is. And then they.
Josh Arnold
They posted it. And then that.
Jeff Oskay
I. I follow this. It's called Indie Film is. And they put up trailers all the time on Instagram and you'll see in the comments. Can somebody tell me what the name of this movie is? And it's instantly like 50 people. It's this. So probably what they did is, does anybody know who these two people are? Boom, bam, boom.
Josh Arnold
Well, she's also an HR director, so there's a handful of people who hate.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, good point.
Josh Arnold
Who are probably reveling in this. Oh, this will teach you to write me up.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, but not here. Our HR lady. Very hot.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, and she's.
Chick McGee
Giant boobs.
Josh Arnold
She flirts a lot.
Chick McGee
Yeah, more than you would think.
Jeff Oskay
That's odd, right?
Chick McGee
She touched me over my pants.
Jeff Oskay
It's like Doctor's kids.
Tom Griswold
We really should point out that we don't have an HR lady in the building. All fiction. So fix you Coldplay. Now, will there be a lot of follow up on this story or probably. Let's hope nothing sad happens.
Chick McGee
No, I hope it's.
Jess Hooker
Somehow it just goes away.
Jeff Oskay
They're going to be on the morning shows here in a little while, probably.
Chick McGee
Well, they may as well cash out now.
Tom Griswold
And there have been stories of the kiss cam where it focuses on a couple and their brother and sister.
Jess Hooker
Those are funny. Yeah. And they'll say like that's my brother. They'll lip it.
Tom Griswold
And yeah, I do the. At like these sporting events. Do the people know that there's a camera person right there or these cameras way across the way.
Jess Hooker
Some of them are.
Chick McGee
You can tell the kiss cams are typically kind of far away way. But the people finding the couples study them for a little bit. Like they'll. They'll watch, they'll see. Oh yeah, they're kind of seem to be a couple.
Tom Griswold
The potential lawsuit that I see is the one. And I don't know how many stadiums do this, but where they. They put some celebrity up there on the screen. The photograph of a celebrity, a lookalike. And then they'll search the audience for the lookalike. I could see potential problems.
Chick McGee
Problems, maybe, but man, they're very wise.
Jess Hooker
To stick with the cartoon characters and that way it.
Chick McGee
Yeah, they don't always. But that is better.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, yeah.
Tom Griswold
I saw one that had a. Probably, I can't even say the nature of the issue.
Jess Hooker
Oh, oh.
Chick McGee
I've seen some where it's like they're doing the cast of Pulp Fiction, let's say, and they go to Samuel L. Jackson and they just find a black guy.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, yeah.
Tom Griswold
That's more. That's more or less what I look nothing like situation. I'm talking about. That's exactly what. Okay. I wonder, do they. Do they cover that potential liability on the ticket? Does it say if we embarrass the living hell out of you on the kiss cam, your.
Jeff Oskay
Your image and likeness may be used during the.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Playing of the.
Tom Griswold
Maybe. Maybe it is in there. Well, right now I want to remind you about Better Help. The Bomb and Tom show is sponsored by Better Help. And this is a really interesting thing. It's all about seeking therapy. Therapy and therapy can be extraordinarily important, of course. And whatever kind of stress you may be dealing with, therapy might be helpful. Talk therapy and could be stress at the workplace. It could be stress in your romantic life, stress in your families, financial stress, whatever. It might be. Often talking to someone who is wise and schooled in the world of this sort of thing could be helpful for you. And that's what BetterHelp is all about. It's about accessing therapy online. And when I say accessing, it's not just hooking up with a therapist because it's doing the therapy itself online. So it's kind of like a zoom call or a phone call if you want, or even texting back and forth. That's what it's about. And the way to find out more about it is to go to betterhelp.com I would recommend going to betterhelp.com BTShow because that'll knock 10% off the fee for the first month. And I should point this out too. BetterHelp is the largest online therapy provider in the world. Over 30,000 therapists have served over 5 million people just in the last few years. And this is also interesting. Their app store rating is a staggering 4.9 out of 5 from nearly 2 million reviews. So they got something going that people seem to like. And if you've been thinking about therapy, here's the way to go, perhaps for you. And the therapy is done online, like I said, so you can do it at your convenience, where you want to be so you don't have to drop, drive here or there or get on the bus. You can do it in your, in your backyard, sitting on the porch or wherever you want. You can do it at work. Whatever works for you. Once again, it's better help. H e l p betterhelp.com BTShow Coming up, we will return to the Silac Insurance News Desk. We have a bizarre science story about sloths. I really can, I can barely say that word, sloth. You know, those weird double clawed weirdo things and they are weird and they're flatulence. It's incredibly odd, huh? We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Jeff Oskay
Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for.
Josh Arnold
You on our YouTube channel.
Jeff Oskay
Watch and subscribe. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show.
Tom Griswold
What?
Jeff Oskay
I said welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Thank O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Jess and Josh and Ace. I'm Chick and I believe.
Tom Griswold
On the.
Jeff Oskay
Big screen, I think so. There he is.
Tom Griswold
Oh, it's Jeff Oskar in the other building. Where are you, Jeff?
Josh Arnold
I'm Here at the failed Dimension news desk. That's right, it's Friday, which means we give you a lot of the news each week. We don't give you all the news. So I'm here to give you the news that we failed to mention.
Jeff Oskay
Here's Jeff Oskay with failed to mention news.
Josh Arnold
And today we actually only have one story. It's more of a rant. As we discussed last week, Chuck E. Cheese is opening an adult version. No kids allowed. Chuck E. Cheese. Well, you failed to mention. That's right. They're opening an adult Chuck E. Cheese. I guess there's not enough fighting at the regular one, so they're opening a bunch of adult only. Chuck E. Cheese's. Currently. The police get called so often to Chuck E. Cheese, they should just open a substation in the lobby. It's so common. You should be allowed to apply your winning game tickets towards your parents bail if they want to save a bunch of hassle at the new adult Chuck E. Cheese. Install an MMA cage in lieu of the ball pit. Plus, you can't have an adult ball pit. People will be banging under the ball. If you're gonna have an adult Chuck E. Cheese, make the name more mature as well. Call it Charles E. Cheeses. At Charles E. Cheese's, they're replacing the Chuck E. Cheese Band with an animatronic burlesque show which will be very popular with the roller derby crowd. How great would it be if the adult Chuck E. Cheese is the exact opposite of the kids? Chuck E. Cheese. It's all respectable. No fights. Super classic. Come to find out, it was the kids that were ruining it all along. See, parenting brings out the worst in people. I can tell you this. I never once had the slightest inkling to hurt a child before I became a parent. It's crazy. Wait till you hear some kid call your kid dumb or stupid for the first time. It takes every ounce of energy not to jump in and roast a toddler. Gouge. Well, at least he's potty trained in a week. You're still wearing pull ups, you jackass. Jordan the Jackass. That's what we're calling you from now on.
Jess Hooker
Look.
Josh Arnold
Jordan the Jackass just peed his pull ups. Oh, quit crying, you big baby. As a parent, it's hard to watch your kid get pushed or cut in line or hit in the head by a rogue skeeball without not wanting to drop kick a third grader right in his stupid little freckled face. And since you can't do that, you start looking to see who this stupid kids parents are. Oh, big surprise. They're over at a table paying no attention to their little demon seed. Probably pontificating on what face tattoo to get next. Or how much this big beautiful new bill's going to affect their EBT funds. Anyway, that's why you have so many fights at Chuck E. Cheese. Maybe with the adult Charles E. Cheeses. Everyone will be so damn happy they're away from the kids. It's gonna be all smiling, flowing beer and high five. It's amazing how great things can be without any kids there. Ruining the adults fun like usual. People will be laughing, playing skeeball, chasing each other through the jungle gym. They can have adult prizes. You turn your tickets in for 6,000 tickets gets your drunk ass a ride home in an Uber. 10,000 tickets gets you a new flesh like light. A hundred thousand tickets gets you a handy behind the Chuck E. Cheese dumpster by one of the animatronic burlesque robots. Yeah, you know what? This adult Chuck E. Cheese may not be the dumpster fire we're all anticipating. And I'm here for it. I've been Jeff O.
Chick McGee
And this was what you failed to mention Jeff.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, maybe a car.
Tom Griswold
Here, here.
Jeff Oskay
Carlos for fromage or something.
Tom Griswold
I mean a classier name.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, yeah.
Tom Griswold
Well, speaking of Chucks, we've got a bizarre story about King Charles.
Jess Hooker
Oh, we do.
Tom Griswold
A couple of them actually. We talked about this yesterday. King Charles, technically, and this is kind of a tradition in the uk. King Charles is the Sultan of swans. Yeah, he's the proper owner of all the swans in England.
Jeff Oskay
Does he have to, do he have to feed the swans?
Tom Griswold
Well, they, they do an annual swan census. And it's a swan upping. Yeah, they call it the swan upping. And I believe today is the last day. I think.
Jeff Oskay
How do you up a swan or count a swan or keep track of swan? They all look alike. Right? Am I in trouble for saying that?
Tom Griswold
Here we go.
Jess Hooker
One of King Charles less known titles is Senior of Swans.
Chick McGee
It should be Sultan of Swan. Chick.
Jeff Oskay
You're right. Right, right.
Jess Hooker
Lord of the Swans. According to ancient lore, the king owns all members of the mute swan species found in Britain's open waters.
Jeff Oskay
Mute. I like the sound of that. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
What sound?
Jeff Oskay
Right.
Jess Hooker
Are they usually loud?
Jeff Oskay
I, I, I, I think swan. I hear swan. I think trumpet.
Chick McGee
Oh yeah, yeah.
Jeff Oskay
The trumpeting of swans.
Jess Hooker
Not like a peacock.
Jeff Oskay
No, no, no, not that.
Jess Hooker
Swans.
Tom Griswold
That.
Jeff Oskay
No.
Jess Hooker
And King Charles annual swan census is up and running on the River Thames. The annual five day census of swans is known as the swan upping.
Tom Griswold
That's what it's called.
Chick McGee
All right. Yeah. But the upping sounded like it was, you know, by AI. Last two sentences were essentially the same.
Jess Hooker
Every year. Every year. A team of carefully selected oarsmen.
Jeff Oskay
Oh.
Jess Hooker
Called Swan Upper. Locate the swans on the stretch of the Tims and check them for signs of disease or injury.
Jeff Oskay
I get the feeling this is a put on for everybody and they just.
Jess Hooker
Maybe it's just fine. Yeah, yeah.
Tom Griswold
They got a bigger crew of guys and ladies that go out there and they wrangle the swans and people like.
Chick McGee
To see them all.
Jess Hooker
The census continues until today, as Tom said, traveling from Sunbury on the outskirts of London to Abingdon, 80 miles upstream. Wow. That's a big stretch.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah. How many Swans in that 80 mile stretch, Tom, do you think?
Chick McGee
Oh, my gosh. That's a good question.
Jeff Oskay
Thousands.
Chick McGee
Yes.
Tom Griswold
I'm gonna say yes. There was a number and it was not that many. They're. They're kind of. They're kind of rare now. They're actually protected. You can't hunt them or eat them anymore.
Jess Hooker
No. When a family is spotted, they shout all up. And the boats surround the birds, marking them and checking them for signs of disease or injury.
Jeff Oskay
Hey, what'd we do? Hey. Hey.
Chick McGee
How's this?
Jeff Oskay
We got no problem.
Chick McGee
Unlawful search and seizure.
Jeff Oskay
Tell me. I want my attorney.
Jess Hooker
The census tradition dates back to the 12th century when swans were considered an important food for royal banquets and feasts. While swans are now legally protected from hunting, they do face threats of disease, pollution, vandalism and cruelty.
Jeff Oskay
What is it about I. Chicken. No problem. I'd even eat a duck. I think maybe a Cornish game hen.
Chick McGee
Yes.
Jeff Oskay
And I don't want any part of a swan.
Chick McGee
I'm not interested in eating swan either. No.
Tom Griswold
Because they're elephants. Elegant. And they. They're sort of symbolic of purity and.
Chick McGee
Are they jerks?
Jess Hooker
I think they're jerks.
Chick McGee
I've heard they were jerks, but swans.
Jeff Oskay
Are generally jerks is what I've heard.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, but they, but I don't think we. We perceive them as something special. It's like a. Like a white dove. Would you eat dove?
Jess Hooker
If I was hungry enough.
Chick McGee
Squab.
Jeff Oskay
Squab? Yeah. I don't think.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Is pigeons.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Maybe that is pigeon squab.
Tom Griswold
I suppose. Like maybe King Charles is on a pretty tough day and Camilla's looking for some action and he goes to tell you what I. Not tonight, baby. It's the swan census and I'm Kind of. I don't know, kind of stressed.
Chick McGee
I'm a little worried about the numbers. I'm sorry. I'm just. I can't get out of my head.
Jeff Oskay
You think he calls her Millie? I bet he does.
Chick McGee
Yeah. I would hope so.
Jeff Oskay
Although we. We always. We go back to him learning how to talk dirty. Remember this?
Tom Griswold
Oh, God. The famous phone call. Yes, I want to be your TAM partner.
Jess Hooker
That's what he said.
Tom Griswold
Yes.
Jeff Oskay
What he said. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
They've got. They tapped his phone and he's trying to talk dirty to Camila.
Chick McGee
During the time of your month, when your uterine wall is sloughing off, I want to be inserted into you and become that.
Tom Griswold
That part's somewhat fictional, but the part about.
Chick McGee
But that's essentially what he said.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, that would be a great punk rock song. I want to be your tampon.
Jeff Oskay
I want to be. I want to be tampon. Isn't that.
Chick McGee
I want to be your cow.
Tom Griswold
You're doing. You're doing. I want to be sedated by the Ramon. Coming up, we have more King Charles news and other and other delights from the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Jeff Oskay
Become a Bob and Tom VIP and get your Bob and Tom Fix 24. 7. Get all the info in the VIP area@bob and tom.com. hey, welcome back to the Bob and Top Show. At the SILAC Insurance news desk. It's Jess Hooker. It's me. There's Jeff Oskay.
Josh Arnold
Hey, man.
Jeff Oskay
There's Josh Arnold.
Chick McGee
Hi.
Jeff Oskay
Ace Cosby. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.
Tom Griswold
Hello, Chick McGee. We were just talking about something called the swan upping, in which case an image. Right. Rather, King Charles has a crew this time of year. They go up and down the River Thames and they count the swans.
Jeff Oskay
Counting birds.
Tom Griswold
Kind of a fun tradition. And they're checking to make sure the swans are healthy. Doesn't swan uppers sound like some weird underground drug?
Jess Hooker
It does, man.
Tom Griswold
It's like two of those swan uppers. Tell you what, man.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, man.
Jess Hooker
Make your neck real long.
Tom Griswold
It was really good.
Jeff Oskay
But I got the long neck. That's right. I can look over a wall.
Tom Griswold
It sounds like a sex move, doesn't it? I gave her the old long neck. The reason I bring it up is because we have another prince. I keep saying Prince, I'm sorry. Forgive me, King Charles. Sorry.
Chick McGee
Don't worry about. It'll be dead soon.
Tom Griswold
King Charles is in the news.
Jeff Oskay
I think he will. His mom and dad both lived 109 or something, right?
Tom Griswold
Maybe dealing with some illnesses, but thank you for bringing that up.
Chick McGee
Like it matters to you. You hate the royal family.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, you do. You hate all the royals.
Tom Griswold
I don't hate them.
Chick McGee
I don't know why I thought that. I think it was the time you said, I hate them.
Josh Arnold
Why would we like them?
Jeff Oskay
That's why we got it.
Josh Arnold
They're just despicable people.
Jeff Oskay
That's not true. They're going to be my king and queen, whoever it is.
Josh Arnold
By the time I heard, we hated them enough to kind of fight a war against.
Tom Griswold
In any event, it was just a misunderstanding. He's in the news also because of. Do we have a copy of this portrait? This is interesting.
Jeff Oskay
Again with the big hands.
Jess Hooker
No. An AI powered humanoid robot has painted a portrait of King Charles.
Chick McGee
Oh, my gosh. How does it look?
Jess Hooker
I don't know. According. There we go. Oh, that's kind of cool.
Chick McGee
It's pretty good.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, that's. That's cool.
Tom Griswold
What's it.
Jeff Oskay
It looks like he's being hit by lightning.
Chick McGee
Yes.
Tom Griswold
It looks like someone did a nice portrait of them in the. Then they kind of smeared it with mayonnaise.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, it doesn't look like that.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. What's that about? White crap all over the thing.
Chick McGee
Like some sort of accent highlight sort of hits it.
Jess Hooker
Makes it pop.
Chick McGee
It does look like Freddy Krueger a little bit. A little Skin looks awful.
Jess Hooker
According to Sky News, the oil on canvas painting titled Algorithm King was created, by the way, is called a Female Robot Art artist.
Chick McGee
A female robot.
Jess Hooker
Female.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. And I was wondering why.
Chick McGee
Yeah. How does that come.
Tom Griswold
Because they call. When these. The humanoid robots differ from. I mean, it's obviously they. They have arms and legs and.
Chick McGee
Does it have a vagina?
Tom Griswold
That's. I'm.
Jeff Oskay
Answer him.
Jess Hooker
Her name is I. Da.
Chick McGee
Huh?
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Ida.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, Ida, I guess.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. I think it's different. I think. I believe they probably pronounce it, I'm guessing Ida. Yeah, like Ida, but it's AI. Like artificial intelligence, I think.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Jess Hooker
Like a lowercase I. Oh, it could be Aida.
Tom Griswold
Like the opera.
Chick McGee
Right?
Jeff Oskay
That's like.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Jess Hooker
Oh, okay.
Tom Griswold
In any event, the title Algorithm King is enough to make me immediately stop reading.
Chick McGee
Oh, okay.
Jeff Oskay
A guy out there named Albert Gorithm.
Chick McGee
I sure hope so.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Chick McGee
I'm Goriv Algorithm. Who could ask for anything more.
Tom Griswold
I was hoping they'd have a video of this robot painting the thing.
Chick McGee
Yeah, I'd like to see that too.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, the robot has cameras where her eyes would be and a robot arm.
Jeff Oskay
Hey, just one.
Chick McGee
Well, it was. It was in an accident.
Tom Griswold
It was a verdun.
Josh Arnold
Did you see the painting?
Chick McGee
It.
Josh Arnold
Did you see the painting? It did. Of Prince Andrew and Epstein?
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. It's been mischievous.
Chick McGee
Crayon.
Josh Arnold
I can't find it.
Jess Hooker
I can't find it.
Josh Arnold
No, it's gone.
Chick McGee
It was a finger painting.
Jeff Oskay
At least a chalk drawing on a sidewalk.
Jess Hooker
Okay.
Jeff Oskay
Hey, did your mom and dad ever tell you this? Don't put your hand out of the car while we're driving because your arm might go home in another car. Did they ever tell you that?
Tom Griswold
All the time.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Absolutely.
Tom Griswold
Every time I see someone with their arm dangling out, I think that's gonna get knocked off.
Chick McGee
Do you remember the movie the Hand with Michael Caine? And that happens to him, and then the hand searches for him.
Jess Hooker
Yes.
Jeff Oskay
No way I remember this. Is it Michael Caine's hand?
Chick McGee
Yeah. Oliver Stone wrote it.
Jeff Oskay
No way. I've got to check that out. What's a big joke about Michael Caine? All these movies. My friend videotaped his wedding. Michael Caine was in it.
Tom Griswold
Well, I wonder if they'll do one of Camilla.
Jess Hooker
Maybe the robot painted a portrait of Queen Elizabeth II to celebrate the monarch's platinum jubilee in 2022.
Chick McGee
Oh, so this is a sort of.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, this thing, this robot. The world's first ultra realistic robot artist is what they're calling it.
Jeff Oskay
Ultra realistic.
Jess Hooker
Ultra.
Tom Griswold
All I can find is a picture. The portrait. Oh, yikes.
Chick McGee
Of the queen.
Tom Griswold
One of the queen is really bad.
Jess Hooker
Well, she was. She was her first one. She was practicing. Get better. She was.
Jeff Oskay
And the queen was a handsome woman at best, you know?
Jess Hooker
Is that an insult? Yeah, it is an insult. She's a handsome woman.
Tom Griswold
It's implying masculine looking.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, but some guys are into that, I guess.
Chick McGee
I guess guys like the.
Jeff Oskay
The big hands and.
Chick McGee
Oh, yeah, Adam's apple.
Tom Griswold
Who's Caitlin? Who's Caitlyn Jenner dating?
Chick McGee
I mean, who is Kayla Jenner dating?
Jess Hooker
I. I don't know.
Chick McGee
You got mano.
Tom Griswold
Handsome.
Jess Hooker
She's on my nerves.
Jeff Oskay
Is she?
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Is that her pronoun? She is that. Are we sure about that?
Jess Hooker
Yeah, they. Whatever.
Tom Griswold
Let's move forward. Here we are once again talking. Sitting in for Christy Lee.
Jess Hooker
Yeah. Story. Police in Thailand arrested a woman who allegedly seduced and blackmailed Buddhist monks. Thai monks are members of The Theraveda sect, which requires them to be celibate and refrain from even touching women.
Jeff Oskay
Whoa.
Jess Hooker
The Royal Thai Police Central investigation bureau said they found several monks had transferred large amounts of money into Ms. Willowan Mswat after she was.
Jeff Oskay
Wait a minute.
Jess Hooker
Yes, after she initiated romantic relationships with them.
Jeff Oskay
What's her name?
Tom Griswold
Willowan is her first name. Her last name is M. Switch.
Jeff Oskay
I heard twat in there somewhere.
Jess Hooker
You would.
Chick McGee
Because you wanted to.
Tom Griswold
It's.
Jeff Oskay
And when you hear Thai police, do you hear someone in your head asking you, what spicy would you like.
Tom Griswold
So.
Jeff Oskay
Hot or Thai hot or.
Tom Griswold
This sect of. The sect of monks is not supposed to even touch a woman, and she's been getting tens of thousands of dollars from each one of them.
Chick McGee
Why the police get involved?
Jess Hooker
Her bank account received around $11.9 million in the past three years, but most of the funds were spent gambling websites. The woman, said to be in her 30s, faces charges including extortion, money laundering, and receiving stolen goods. At least nine abbots and a senior monk were involved in the scandal and have been disrobed and cast out of the monkhood.
Chick McGee
Okay, but. But what they did technically isn't illegal. The monks.
Jess Hooker
No, no, no, no, no, no. It just. Yeah. They're not monks.
Chick McGee
She's in trouble for other things.
Jess Hooker
Yes.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Jess Hooker
Yes.
Tom Griswold
I just like the fact that they. It's disrobed. As if one was disbarred or.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Or undressed.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Not only verbally undressed. Undressed.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Snatch the condom from my hand, grasshopper. She's. Apparently she's got quite a good line because she's got a whole bunch of these guys. And why. Where did all these monks get all the money?
Josh Arnold
That's what I'm wondering. Like the. Did she. Did she give him. Did they give her, like, shekels or whatever they donated?
Tom Griswold
No. It's $11 million, right?
Jeff Oskay
Oh, no. I think a monk. $100,000 a year job. I think they don't have any expenses.
Jess Hooker
That's entry level.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, that's entry level.
Chick McGee
And overhead is nothing. I mean, those buildings have been around forever.
Tom Griswold
Do they have wi fi in those monk.
Chick McGee
I don't know.
Jess Hooker
They must.
Jeff Oskay
I'm sure they do. Yes. But they don't make a big deal out of it.
Tom Griswold
And is it a monkey? What do we decide?
Jeff Oskay
It was called a. I. I made.
Jess Hooker
Abby.
Jeff Oskay
I made up monkery.
Chick McGee
It's not a barrel of monks.
Josh Arnold
I like that.
Tom Griswold
Do you suppose. Don't you suppose that. No. Attack. Tagging. That. Of course monks are famous for Monks are famous for jumping on the bed. Of course.
Jeff Oskay
I can't breathe.
Tom Griswold
Even monk who. What is confusion? What? Confucius say, monk. Even monk with higher consciousness can't resist a nice pair of naked jugs.
Chick McGee
I believe that is a direct question.
Jeff Oskay
Does that tell you anything? Everything you need to know about a man, even as a monk? Yeah. I'll pay you $500,000. Take a look at your cans. Let's go.
Tom Griswold
But the fact that it's so many of them that have fallen for this lady.
Jeff Oskay
Does it say how many, like tens of thousands or.
Chick McGee
No, this.
Jess Hooker
In this story, it's 30. No, like nine. It says nine Abbots, a senior monk and. But $11.9 million. It can't just be from those.
Chick McGee
No, the story suggests it's not.
Tom Griswold
Here's a different version of the story from the Associated Press. It says at least nine monks.
Jess Hooker
Okay.
Tom Griswold
Does it mention Abbott is an abbot, a type of monk?
Jess Hooker
It must be.
Tom Griswold
Is it like a hierarchy of monks?
Jeff Oskay
No, I think it's a junior monk.
Tom Griswold
Monk.
Chick McGee
Oh, okay.
Jeff Oskay
Because it said Abbott's and senior monk.
Jess Hooker
It did.
Chick McGee
Yeah, it did.
Jeff Oskay
There.
Chick McGee
So maybe they're. Yeah. Sort of like cardinals to a pope.
Jeff Oskay
No, it goes freshman, sophomore, Abbott, senior.
Chick McGee
Oh, okay.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah. They don't use. They don't use junior because it'd be.
Tom Griswold
Worth hiring 10 of these guys and then having a concert with Elvis Costello. You'd have Abbotson Costello tonight.
Chick McGee
It would be worth it.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, just for.
Chick McGee
Oh, wait, Chick.
Tom Griswold
I hurt myself.
Josh Arnold
And Abbott is a monk who serves as the head of the monastery.
Jeff Oskay
He's the head.
Tom Griswold
Oh, so she's getting the big guys.
Chick McGee
Yeah, I guess. Okay, so that's different.
Josh Arnold
Like top dog.
Chick McGee
Different diocese, then.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Different monasteries. She must be a good.
Tom Griswold
Oh, I see.
Jeff Oskay
You should see the number she put up.
Tom Griswold
Okay, here's why the. Now I can see the cops are involved. It's this says the case involves putting a spotlight on large sums of money that have been donated to the temples. So there. I wonder. I wonder if that's, like a tax thing.
Chick McGee
Interesting.
Tom Griswold
Over there. God knows how that works.
Jeff Oskay
One for the Lord and one for me. One for me.
Tom Griswold
But again, just shows the allure of that thing you're carrying around.
Chick McGee
Yeah, no kidding. Got a lot of power, ladies you can use. Irresponsible.
Jeff Oskay
Leaving money on the table. Ladies. If you're not blackmailing, killing somebody.
Tom Griswold
Okay, step up.
Jess Hooker
I know. If I didn't have a family.
Tom Griswold
And these are. This says these are Buddhists.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Are all monks Buddhist or aren't there?
Jeff Oskay
I Think so? Yeah, baby Buddhist. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Another Trappist monks, they primarily deal in beavers and raccoons.
Jeff Oskay
What about the Trapper Keeper? Anything? Raycons everyday earbuds. That's what all your better monks listen to when they're their, their reading their mantra out loud. That's right. That's right. Raycon's latest model. Better than ever. 32 hour battery life. Meditating is the word I wanted. And multi point connectivity and maybe you're a monk and meditates. Put, put your Raycon everyday earbuds in. They also have a quick charge function. 10 minutes of charging, 90 minutes of battery. And at this price point, Raycon has active noise cancellation. Yes, that is surprising. And Raycon has a 30 day happiness guarantee return policy. Go to buyraycon.com Tom that's buyraycon.com Tom. And get 15% off Raycon's best selling everyday earbuds right now. 15% off@buyraycon.com Tom.
Tom Griswold
Thank you very much. I didn't know this. I'm just looking it up here. There's monks of all strings stripes out there.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Tom Griswold
You've got your Sikh, you've got your Hindu Christian monks, Buddhist monks. Yeah. But in this case, these are the Buddhist guys. So apparently the Buddhists like the booty. The back door.
Jeff Oskay
I love blues. Tom Griswold. That's, it's my favorite character. I like the booty.
Chick McGee
Coming up, there was a blues guy who was in one of those abbeys.
Jeff Oskay
Really?
Chick McGee
Yeah. Felonious Monk.
Tom Griswold
Kind of a jazz guy.
Chick McGee
Oh, sorry.
Tom Griswold
The effort needs to be awarded.
Jeff Oskay
Yes. That's the important thing. He's trying.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. Josh, how'd that work out for you?
Tom Griswold
Now Ms. Hooker has been, she's announced it this morning. She was exhausted.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
She had a very rough night. She was useful and she's gotten through three hours, hours and 15 minutes of the show. It's almost over.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, I'm having it. I had a great time last night. I'm having a great time this morning.
Tom Griswold
You're right in the edge of you putting your head down and just going to sleep.
Jess Hooker
I'm, I have a couch in my office that will be utilized.
Jeff Oskay
Kaboom.
Tom Griswold
Okay. All right, well, we'll, we'll be back. We're not going to utilize anything except.
Jeff Oskay
Sound asleep right now.
Tom Griswold
Okay, good. When we return, most likely we'll be right here in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom show show.
Jeff Oskay
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're at the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs, get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. You know what time it is, Tom?
Tom Griswold
What's that?
Jeff Oskay
That's right. Today in history 3. Let's dive right in. July 18th, this date. These people were born, these people died.
Chick McGee
These events occurred and we lived our lives.
Tom Griswold
Okay, let me see.
Chick McGee
I got a world keeps on spinning.
Tom Griswold
Oh, wow.
Jeff Oskay
In greased grooves.
Tom Griswold
Oh, this is an easy1.
Jeff Oskay
Okay.
Tom Griswold
64 AD the famous fire in Rome.
Chick McGee
Rome is burning.
Tom Griswold
Remember who the emperor was?
Chick McGee
Cicero.
Jeff Oskay
Nero. Right, yeah.
Chick McGee
Nero who?
Jeff Oskay
He fiddled while. Remember?
Tom Griswold
Famous.
Chick McGee
I don't remember. I was not alive.
Tom Griswold
Oh, okay.
Jeff Oskay
I'm not that old.
Josh Arnold
How'd it burn? Like isn't everything made from stone?
Tom Griswold
I know.
Chick McGee
How did that fire continue?
Jeff Oskay
I think it was livestock that was burning.
Josh Arnold
Oh my goodness.
Chick McGee
Yeah, they were running around by the.
Tom Griswold
Way, when the fire started. You know, you have to do if you have a fire in those days what you have to grab your phone and dial ix.
Jeff Oskay
No, no, no.
Tom Griswold
Ix. I, I.
Jeff Oskay
No, no, it's ix. Ix. Ix. Wouldn't it be 999? Oh, no, that's England. I'm sorry.
Tom Griswold
Wait a minute. This is. I. I don't know if they do the 911 or the 999. That's a fair question.
Jeff Oskay
England is 999.
Tom Griswold
I don't know.
Jeff Oskay
So what does Rome do?
Tom Griswold
What is in Italy?
Jeff Oskay
I know.
Tom Griswold
Don't know. Okay, here's a good one.
Jeff Oskay
Douglas Corrigan, a inventor of the laminate floor.
Tom Griswold
Crossed the Atlantic in 1938 in an airplane cardboard box.
Jeff Oskay
Much different.
Tom Griswold
Oh, nickname was wrong way Corrigan.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, yeah.
Chick McGee
He was trying to cross the Pacific.
Jeff Oskay
Well that, that's totally turned around.
Tom Griswold
That's the gag. He claimed he was heading back to California and then he and he landed. He goes to Ireland.
Jeff Oskay
I guess I was upside down.
Tom Griswold
Let's see now. Oh, this is interesting. 1940, FDR nominated for a third term.
Jeff Oskay
In the foxtrot salsa rub Lombada. The forbidden dance. Anything. He was a great dancer.
Chick McGee
The three legged races. His partner claimed he was quote not helpful.
Tom Griswold
You're through. Now mocking a man who I was.
Jeff Oskay
Carrying him the whole time.
Tom Griswold
Of the most important men in the world.
Chick McGee
The fact that he had polio mocking a near dictator.
Jeff Oskay
Yes, I am fine with that stuff.
Chick McGee
He had to do mocking the man who invented Social Security that saving your not gonna be there. I'm paying you to something that doesn't exist. When I need it.
Tom Griswold
Okay, fine. My favorite FDR thing though. Did you hear this last week? Hooker? He. He was the first president to actually go through the Panama Canal.
Jess Hooker
Oh, okay.
Tom Griswold
You know, you got the.
Jeff Oskay
Is that really something for you?
Tom Griswold
Yeah, because he did. He did it on a jet ski. I think it's awesome.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, no, I. I don't think the.
Chick McGee
He had the blanket in his lap.
Jeff Oskay
No, the Panama Canal, it didn't exist before he went through it, so of course he was the first one.
Josh Arnold
That's right.
Chick McGee
I'd like to know who the last president to go through the Pan. Pan. Pan where?
Jeff Oskay
Huh? I don't know. It's not, it's not your kind comedy. It's just your general attitude that's killing today.
Tom Griswold
I wonder if he's the only one ever, because that's got to be a. That's got to be a long siege. You got to sit through a bunch of locks and it's hotter than hell and there are mosquitoes.
Jeff Oskay
Well, that's the deal. You got to get up to the level or down to the level, because it's not even over there.
Tom Griswold
One of the great songs of all time released on this date in 1994. Aliyah by a Kiss from a Rose by Seal.
Chick McGee
Ah, Part of the Batman Forever soundtrack.
Jeff Oskay
Don't care for that one.
Tom Griswold
You don't like that song?
Chick McGee
I like that one.
Jeff Oskay
I don't like. I can't think of a song by Seal. I care.
Chick McGee
Crazy. You don't like crazy?
Jeff Oskay
I like crazy. But I think Alanis did a version of that I like much better.
Chick McGee
I have to hear it.
Tom Griswold
How about this?
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Now this is, this is interesting because this name has been co opted and kind of over overtaken. In 1895, George Kelly was born. Oh, the gangster. Machine Gun Kelly known. He became known as Machine Gun Kelly. Now of those of a certain generation, just know the rap artist well known as Machine Gun Kelly. Yeah, but the original rap though, right?
Josh Arnold
Not anymore.
Chick McGee
Yeah, he's now gone to rock kind of Blink 182.
Josh Arnold
Ish.
Jess Hooker
Megan Fox's husband. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chick McGee
That's gotta be.
Jess Hooker
That's all. Yeah. That's what he should be known for.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
How many men want to sleep with me?
Chick McGee
Don't you know how many women want.
Jeff Oskay
To sleep with me?
Chick McGee
Let's just bang.
Tom Griswold
Mg. Mgk. I'm mgk.
Jeff Oskay
And now let's go to the Kelly household. That's right.
Tom Griswold
Now there's also a very good song by James Taylor called Machine Gun Kelly.
Jeff Oskay
I'm not familiar with that we've all heard of it. Yeah, but I'm aware, aware of the.
Tom Griswold
Song that I haven't heard about Machine Gun Kelly. It's a good song. What?
Chick McGee
What if he has no business singing about gangsters?
Tom Griswold
What?
Chick McGee
He's one of the biggest vocal on the planet. He shouldn't be singing about badass.
Tom Griswold
That's your problem with his artistry.
Jeff Oskay
Hi, welcome to the Bob and Tom show. Our guest today we'll be talking with well known vocal James.
Tom Griswold
He's a great singer.
Chick McGee
Not. But sticking your state of your. Your lane there, James.
Tom Griswold
I think it's a joke.
Jeff Oskay
But he's.
Tom Griswold
Trying to get the point across.
Jeff Oskay
What is it? Yeah, what is he saying with this song?
Tom Griswold
Right. I think I recall.
Jeff Oskay
I think you're giving it the gravitas it doesn't deserve.
Tom Griswold
I remember I haven't heard it in a while but I think he starts out with. This is not a time for levity. This is the story of Machine Gun Kelly. Okay, well move on. How about Red Skelton, comedian born in 1913 in this state.
Jeff Oskay
And may God bless.
Chick McGee
He was a sweet man. Right.
Jeff Oskay
I watched when I was a little kid every. Every Monday.
Tom Griswold
I always thought his name was Red Skeleton. Of course.
Chick McGee
Oh sure, sure.
Tom Griswold
Why wouldn't you?
Chick McGee
Clem Caddidle Hopper.
Tom Griswold
Clem.
Jeff Oskay
And I can't remember that. He also played a sheriff. I can't remember any of the names of the other characters.
Tom Griswold
He did a bunch of this one. There's a typo here. I'm not sure.
Jeff Oskay
Freddie the freeloader.
Chick McGee
Oh yeah.
Tom Griswold
1918. Nelson Mandela, of course. Famous for the wrestling move. The full movie Nelson. Yes, very good.
Jeff Oskay
He has.
Jess Hooker
And the Mandela effect a couple times.
Tom Griswold
John Glenn the astronaut.
Chick McGee
Alleged.
Tom Griswold
Alleged astronaut.
Chick McGee
Isn't he the guy. Is he the guy that punched the dude for.
Tom Griswold
No, that's Buzz Ald.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Tom Griswold
Buzz Alden punched a guy that said you weren't really on the moon.
Jeff Oskay
Yes, that's Buzz the Nut.
Tom Griswold
I love that.
Jeff Oskay
Buzz also says he. He believes in UFOs and aliens.
Chick McGee
Well, maybe he saw something know.
Jeff Oskay
Well I just.
Chick McGee
He's been closer than we have.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
He'S a little off.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. John Glenn read about some of the things he did in Korea and stuff. This guy was balls of steel. Wow.
Jeff Oskay
He's the only astronaut whose son was also in the right stuff. Scott. Scott Glenn.
Chick McGee
Oh, that's right. Some screamed nepotism.
Jeff Oskay
But a nepo baby.
Tom Griswold
1929. Happy birthday, Dick button. Look at that. Doesn't the dick button sound like a kind of the male equivalent of The. Never mind.
Chick McGee
Oh, oh, yes, I see what you're saying. Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, the clitoris. Yeah, yeah, you're right.
Jess Hooker
Oh, I thought it was when it just looked like a button. Like that's how.
Tom Griswold
Oh.
Chick McGee
Oh my God.
Tom Griswold
So small.
Jeff Oskay
Cute as a button.
Tom Griswold
You don't want to hear that.
Chick McGee
No, no.
Tom Griswold
The word cute. You don't really want to. Yeah, you never want to hear that.
Chick McGee
You don't want to.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, you want it. It has to be.
Chick McGee
You want a girl, look at it go.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, yeah.
Chick McGee
An Audi.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
You want to have scary, scary names.
Jeff Oskay
You don't want to hear cute. You don't want to hear perfect.
Jess Hooker
Perfect for me. It's for me there at the end. That implies we're such liars.
Jeff Oskay
Tininess.
Chick McGee
Yeah, okay, you said that to me, that I was perfect for you.
Jeff Oskay
But I'm. Honey, I meant that.
Tom Griswold
All right, all right. Well, that'll cover it for today.
Chick McGee
We've ruined it.
Josh Arnold
Sounded so.
Tom Griswold
Time to move on. We have Jess Hooker sitting in for Christy Lee at the SILAC Insurance news desk. What else is happening?
Jess Hooker
A 32 year old man has told doctors his scalp blew up like a balloon after he ignored post op advice and engaged in sexual activity soon after undergoing hair transplants.
Jeff Oskay
What?
Jess Hooker
Mr. Reuben Owen told SWNS that it looked as though his face had been stung by a hundred be. Doctors assured him that the swelling would go down. Medical professionals emphasize that a hair transplant recovery protocol typically advise patients to avoid strenuous activity, including sex, for at least one week post surgery to prevent complications.
Chick McGee
Boy, try call your wife strenuous activity. See how that goes.
Jeff Oskay
Are you ready? You want to go have a strenuous activity? What do you want?
Tom Griswold
So this guy got cocky. Literally.
Chick McGee
Silence would have been better.
Tom Griswold
This guy's a real ass. He's a so called influencer, it says.
Chick McGee
Oh really?
Tom Griswold
I think he just did this so he'd get more attention.
Jeff Oskay
Did you ever look at hair transplants, implants, anything like that? No.
Chick McGee
Did anybody ever approach you saying, hey.
Tom Griswold
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jeff Oskay
I know you're familiar with a couple of. I mean I know a couple guys and I'm sworn to secrecy, but a couple guys who have had, had it.
Chick McGee
Done and I, I do too, with mixed results.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah. And the one guy I know, it's looks amazing and there are a couple others like that.
Chick McGee
You wonder if the one person followed the rules and.
Tom Griswold
But it used to be, it used to look like baby doll hair, you know, little clumps everywhere. They've got it down now.
Chick McGee
Yeah, Yeah.
Tom Griswold
I just don't have any interest in doing gonna I and this article. Were you at that signing event where the guy came up and his face was. We were. We were signing albums one day and this guy came up and he. It looked. He. It looked like all the blood in his head had just rushed into his face and he was all swollen and he said he had just had a hair transplant the day before, but he wanted to come and.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, wow.
Tom Griswold
I don't think it usually is that bad. This guy had a really bad reaction.
Jeff Oskay
I understand it can't be painful.
Jess Hooker
Very painful.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
But hey, you know, whatever you're into, it's okay with me. But I'm surprised looking at this guy. When it says he had sex, he doesn't indicate it was with anybody else. I'm just guessing.
Jess Hooker
Real ugly.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
I gotta look at my new hair in there. I can't get.
Tom Griswold
Oh boy.
Jeff Oskay
I can't keep my hands off this game.
Tom Griswold
This guy must have great game. He's able to. Okay. And he's also got a terrible haircut even.
Jess Hooker
Or he pays for it.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Okay. I'm sorry. We have time for one more story. What do you got over there?
Jess Hooker
An unusual service is gaining popularity in Japan. One that allows people to rent grandmothers by the hour.
Chick McGee
Huh.
Jess Hooker
The company operates a branch known as OK Apache.
Tom Griswold
Now this is. By the way, the grandmothers are being rented for which grandmotherly thing? Yeah. Not. This is not like. What do you call it? A guilf.
Jeff Oskay
It's right. It's not. Not sex.
Jess Hooker
No, no. This offers. The service offers a roster of approximately 100 women between the ages of 60 and 94.
Tom Griswold
So she can come over and. And tell your wife that she's doing everything wrong.
Josh Arnold
Yes.
Jess Hooker
Yes.
Tom Griswold
You know, give the. Give the kid a card with a dollar in it.
Jess Hooker
It's actually helpful. For a base fee of about US$23 per hour, these rental grandma may be called upon to teach cooking, share historical knowledge, babysit, write with elegant penmanship.
Chick McGee
I love this.
Jess Hooker
Or even mediate sensitive family matters.
Chick McGee
I hope this takes off in the States.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, I would love this.
Chick McGee
Because let's be honest, Jess. Most of your generation of women, they don't know how to make a good pie.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Chick McGee
You want a real good pie for.
Jess Hooker
Whatever reason there it's not. Yeah, yeah.
Jeff Oskay
How did that happen? That, that, that segment, it just skipped over.
Chick McGee
All of a sudden they went, no, we're not interested in learning. I can't.
Jess Hooker
No. I'd rather make millions of dollars on only fans than bank, you jerks.
Chick McGee
If I came in with a pair of shorts that needed my button re. Sewn. Could you do it?
Jess Hooker
Yes.
Chick McGee
But you are. See, you're. You're the right example.
Jess Hooker
I. But I. I love. I love those dudes. Stereotypically female things. I enjoy. Enjoy that. Yeah.
Chick McGee
As you should.
Jeff Oskay
We need more.
Tom Griswold
Although you could make. You could make more money with an only fans page entitled My Pie.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Back me up on this charge. You broads, though, should do that, right? Yeah. Right.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Chick McGee
It's a pleasure to serve.
Jeff Oskay
Thank you for your service.
Tom Griswold
This is. This is this Japanese thing. There was another story about you can. You can almost. You can rent a variety of. Of people.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Right.
Jeff Oskay
Huh?
Tom Griswold
Yeah. You can rent like young men or. Yeah. To be your pal.
Chick McGee
Oh, right, right.
Tom Griswold
And things are very different there. And there's also a catastrophically. I'm sorry. Catastrophically low birth rate.
Jess Hooker
Yes.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. In Japan right now. And they. It's gonna. It's skewing the. What do you call it, like the Social Security system because there's no one paying in.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
There aren't enough young people. People and.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
And also. Don't they. Is that true that there's a disproportionate number of centenarians or was that.
Jess Hooker
Oh, I don't know.
Tom Griswold
I think that was.
Josh Arnold
I thought so.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. There were more old people then. I think that might have been dispr.
Chick McGee
In any event, I like this kind of thing, though. I. Wouldn't you like to rent a grandpa who could come over and show you.
Josh Arnold
How to say a bunch of racist stuff.
Jeff Oskay
While he's teaching you how to whittle?
Tom Griswold
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Josh Arnold
If these grandmas are anything like my grandma, the first half of the time is just her making you feel guilty for not renting her more often. Yeah, well, your brother rents me three times a week. I haven't seen you in a month.
Jess Hooker
Well, a lot of grandmas here would be. It'd be a lot of smoking cigarettes and drinking box wine. So I do like Tom's.
Chick McGee
Tom's notion, though, that you rent the grandma and she walks in and. Oh, I see somebody's been too busy to dust. Yeah, those little digs.
Tom Griswold
Oh, really? You're going to wear that?
Jeff Oskay
Wow. What a brave choice.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, that's. That's lovely.
Chick McGee
Oh, doing something different with your hair. Well, I suppose you aren't looking for a man.
Jeff Oskay
You're a very pretty girl. You shouldn't try to be.
Chick McGee
Mothers can cut, can't they?
Tom Griswold
I wonder if you can get maybe. Could you rent two grandmas and have them get into a fight with each other.
Jeff Oskay
Right, Right, grandma.
Jess Hooker
Yeah. Like when you have both of your mother in laws over.
Tom Griswold
Do you mind if I use the word bitch in front of her? The way you always do talking about her.
Jeff Oskay
What about grandma fights? That'd be all right.
Chick McGee
Would you take part MMA if I said, hey Chick, I'm having a party, I want everybody to chip in $25. I'm having two grandmothers come over to fight in the yard.
Tom Griswold
Yes. Essentially do that. But these grand grandmas are, you know, 37.
Jeff Oskay
I would, I would go a little extra four grandmas and have an elimination round and then the two champs square off in the championship bout.
Tom Griswold
This is a question. I don't have an answer to this. Do you suppose because everything we do now there's a rating? You take an Uber ride, you get rated.
Chick McGee
Sure.
Tom Griswold
You go to, you buy a car, you get 50 things in the next week about how did you like our service with blah blah, blah. Do you. I would assume that there's a rating thing for the grandma.
Chick McGee
Absolutely.
Jess Hooker
I hope so.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
You know, how did you like Myrtle?
Jeff Oskay
That's right.
Tom Griswold
Next time, five star rating. Yeah. She loved your hard candy. Thank you. Well, right now it's time to check in with Mr. McGee across the way to find out about the security system we have right here in the studio.
Jeff Oskay
That's right. It's called Simplisafe and it will give you peace of mind. Simplisafe is a system that works to prevent a break in from ever happening in the first place. And as Tom said, we use Simplisafe here at the Bob and Sound studios. Most security systems only take action after somebody's already broken into your home and touching yourself. But Simplisafe has new active guard outdoor protection that helps stop break ins before they happen. With their AI powered cameras and live monitoring agents, they detect suspicious activity around your property. And if you have a lurk lurker, someone's lurking. Agents can talk to lurker in real time, turn on spotlights and can call the police proactively deterring crime before it starts. No contracts, no hidden fees. And 4 million plus Americans trust SimpliSafe. Go to simplisafetom.com right now and claim 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan. Plan and get your first month free half off first month free at simply safe. Tom.com There is no safe like Simply Safe.
Tom Griswold
Thank you very much, Chick B. We're coming right Back to the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. It's The Bomb and Tom Show.
Jeff Oskay
Want to share something? Send us an email.
Tom Griswold
Bob and tom@bobandtom.com this is the Bob and Tom Show.
Jeff Oskay
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. There's Jess Hooker at the Silac Insurance news desk. Hi, there's Jeff Oskay.
Josh Arnold
Hey, man.
Jeff Oskay
Hey, there's Josh Arnold.
Chick McGee
Hi.
Jeff Oskay
Ace Cosby's here. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. I'm Chick. Hello. Tom.
Tom Griswold
Reading about this rent a Grandmother thing. In Japan, it says the rented grandmothers are often used to mediate family disputes. That's. That'd be weird.
Chick McGee
That is weird.
Tom Griswold
It says teaching, teaching, teaching how to cook, teaching penmanship, and baby doing babysitting. But also mediating family disputes.
Chick McGee
Yeah, maybe. Maybe. Sometimes the best voice is an outside voice.
Tom Griswold
It says sometimes people use rental grandmothers to be present when breaking up with a boyfriend.
Chick McGee
Weird. I wonder if that's a cultural thing.
Jess Hooker
Emotional events.
Josh Arnold
Now, do Japanese still teach cursive at their schools?
Tom Griswold
Very good. I like that. I like that question very much.
Jeff Oskay
How do they know how to make all those symbols right? Man, oh, man. We've only got 26. Right? But they.
Tom Griswold
Remember I told you about that guy, that squiggle.
Jeff Oskay
Squiggle?
Tom Griswold
The Vietnamese guy that was texting in front of me?
Jeff Oskay
Yes.
Tom Griswold
His fingers flying.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Each one of those characters is actually like three characters together. It's a word or, or a phrase even, so.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, really?
Chick McGee
At least in Korean. And okay, that's how. Yeah, because I had to learn how to write some.
Jeff Oskay
No kidding.
Tom Griswold
By the way, this is the. The grandmother place here. They've also got a rental place you can rent middle aged men for, quote, conversation, mentorship or to run errands. I wonder if you can rent to own.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, I wonder if you.
Tom Griswold
Probably not.
Chick McGee
I think most of the world tried to put a stop to that.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, sorry.
Jeff Oskay
Thanks for bringing it up. I think Lincoln.
Tom Griswold
Okay. Sorry. Just asking. Japan. I don't know what the rules are. They never been there. Oh, we gotta. We gotta say.
Jeff Oskay
You know, somebody walked through guilt for you, right?
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
What? It was. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
Okay.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
I'm just checking.
Tom Griswold
Well, no, because the story says rent a grandma. It's not right.
Jeff Oskay
It's not for sex.
Tom Griswold
No.
Jess Hooker
Are you. You're obsessed with it. Do you want a grandma for sex?
Jeff Oskay
I might. I might want a grandma for sex. Yeah, like a guilt.
Tom Griswold
You wanted to dress up in like old fashioned grandma.
Jeff Oskay
Just like the Granny Clampett and the Tweety Birds owner. The grandma that owns Tweety Bird. From the Bugs Bunny cartoon.
Chick McGee
You want her to.
Jeff Oskay
Yep.
Chick McGee
To do you while a. A pie is cooling on a windowsill.
Jeff Oskay
That's exactly right.
Tom Griswold
Now we have to get Tweety Bird.
Jeff Oskay
Said, I thought I saw a cheeky cheek or whatever. And then. Okay.
Tom Griswold
We have a death in the news.
Jeff Oskay
Death.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. I'm trying to. Trying to get the tone a little more respectful in here.
Jess Hooker
All right.
Jeff Oskay
The drummer of the assistant bartender for the Allman Brothers. Myron passed away.
Tom Griswold
First of all. Myron could keep a beat.
Jeff Oskay
I'll tell you what. It was a hell of a drum. I'm not disputing that.
Tom Griswold
Butch Truck's okay, but Myon is the guy that, you know, JMO could barely keep. Oh, yeah, no. Felix Baumgartner. You know who that is? Chick?
Jeff Oskay
The only person who ever fell at the speed of sound or something like that.
Tom Griswold
The first guy. Felix Baumgartner, famous daredevil.
Jeff Oskay
Yep. He. He caught on fire, he was falling so fast.
Jess Hooker
Actually, he died in a crash in Italy.
Chick McGee
Holy cow.
Tom Griswold
He died on a stunt over the weekend.
Josh Arnold
Oh, he did?
Chick McGee
How old is this Felix Baumgartner?
Jess Hooker
56.
Chick McGee
Oh, man.
Jess Hooker
He was paragliding and he struck the side of a swimming pool in the coastal city of Porto Saint El Padido.
Chick McGee
He crashed into a swimming pool?
Jess Hooker
That's what it says.
Tom Griswold
It says in the side of a swimming pool, which is kind of weird.
Chick McGee
Did it ruin the game of Marco Polo?
Jeff Oskay
Yes.
Tom Griswold
He'S the guy you remember. He was like, wearing like an astronaut suit. He jumped out, jumped off out of the balloon and he.
Jeff Oskay
They have video. He just falls out of where he was. I don't know how high it was. I want to say like 70,000ft or something.
Tom Griswold
Says it was in New Mexico. He reached speeds of over 840 miles an hour.
Chick McGee
My gosh. And his body held up.
Jeff Oskay
It held up. And. Well, he was smoking when he landed, but not a cigarette. His body.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
And then taken out by an above ground pool.
Tom Griswold
Wow.
Jeff Oskay
Well, here's the thing. We called him. I said, hey, Felix, watch our pool.
Chick McGee
Of course, Grandma made a great. She quipped so fast. It's raining, man. Hallelujah. Oh, yeah.
Tom Griswold
I said, we should have had him do a cannonball. That would have been a big one.
Jeff Oskay
I tell grandma. But he missed.
Tom Griswold
Missed the water and all.
Jeff Oskay
Take off on that standup comedy, granny.
Jess Hooker
That's right.
Jeff Oskay
Be great at it.
Tom Griswold
Well, I guess he died what he loved doing.
Jeff Oskay
Yep. Hitting his head on the side of a pool.
Tom Griswold
What he probably loved. Loved when was landing. Okay. Anyway, he was the big Red Bull guy.
Chick McGee
Oh, okay.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, he owned a big Red Bull?
Tom Griswold
No, no, he was. No, he was that. Well, they're one of their guys. Oh, Red Bull gives you wings.
Chick McGee
And I don't take them away.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, barely. Right at the last minute, they collapse. Okay, well, thank you very much. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Jeff Oskay
Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Catch any part of the show you missed?
Tom Griswold
Later Today on our YouTube channel, Jim Rome takes on sports. Why? Because you're not playing me with rapid fire takes and a lot to get to and I'm not sure you're gonna.
Jeff Oskay
Like all of it.
Tom Griswold
Honestly, I don't even care if you like all of it or not. I have a job to do. Scorching debates on any given week, you have lots to beef about, take advantage of. But get up in here.
Jeff Oskay
He's the spitfire of sports. Smack.
Tom Griswold
She's not my fault. We will get to all of that. The Jim Rome show podcast. Get up in here and we'll beef later on. Quote your beef. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. You've been warned.
The BOB & TOM Show - July 18, 2025: Detailed Episode Summary
Hosted by The BOB & TOM Show | Cumulus Podcast Network
The episode begins with humorous exchanges between hosts Tom Griswold and Chick McGee, interspersed with sponsor messages for Progressive Insurance and WhatsApp. Tom introduces Progressive’s "Name Your Price" tool, highlighting its benefits for budgeting car insurance.
Notable Quote:
Tom shares his experience of altering his daily commute due to a three-year freeway overhaul. He humorously describes his new route, which involves taking right turns on red lights and making left turns at side streets to avoid long red light waits. The hosts discuss the challenges and humorous risks associated with the new route, including a "concrete luge" and chicanes.
Notable Quotes:
Jess Hooker recounts meeting Kathy Engelbert, the Commissioner of the WNBA, at a party. She describes the encounter and their conversation, highlighting Jess’s genuine interest and rapport with Kathy.
Notable Quote:
The hosts delve into the historical terminology surrounding female anatomy, referencing the "Altar of Venus," a 1500s slang term for the vagina. This segues into a playful discussion about collective nouns for monks, with suggestions like "madrigal of monks" and "a hum of monks." The conversation highlights the humorous and inventive nature of group naming.
Notable Quotes:
Various listener letters are read and discussed, including humorous takes on terms for male genitalia. The hosts invent creative and amusing terms such as "landing gear" and "folgur road" for parts like the penis, blending automotive themes with anatomy.
Notable Quotes:
Jess Hooker reports on how the character Crypto from the new Superman movie has spurred a significant increase in dog adoption interest. According to the dog training app Wolfs, Google searches for "adopted dog near me" surged by 513% following the movie's opening weekend.
Notable Quote:
The hosts discuss a controversial story about a woman from Texas seeking hymen replacement surgery to return to her Mormon roots after leaving her OnlyFans career. The conversation touches on the societal pressures and cultural implications of such procedures, with the hosts expressing skepticism about her motives.
Notable Quotes:
Jess Hooker narrates a bizarre incident where a 40-year-old man in South Pasadena, Florida, was arrested for stealing sex toys from Walmart on two separate occasions. The heist included items like oral strokers and G-spot suction vibrators, along with a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, indicating a peculiar motive behind the thefts.
Notable Quotes:
The hosts explore the unique service in Japan where individuals can rent grandmothers by the hour. These rental grandmothers assist with cooking, babysitting, writing with elegant penmanship, and even mediating family disputes. The concept is discussed with amusement and intrigue, pondering its practicality and cultural significance.
Notable Quotes:
The hosts touch upon historical events and notable deaths, including the passing of Myron, the drummer for the Allman Brothers. They also discuss King Charles’s role in the annual "swan upping" on the River Thames, a centuries-old tradition involving the census of swans.
Notable Quotes:
Throughout the episode, sponsors such as 1Password, Simplisafe, and Raycon earbuds are promoted. These advertisements are seamlessly integrated into the conversation, highlighting their features and special offers.
Notable Quotes:
As the show concludes, the hosts recap upcoming topics, including the buzz around sloths and their flatulence, and a humorous take on a kiss cam incident at a Coldplay concert that revealed an affair between company employees. The episode wraps up with continuous banter and lighthearted jokes, maintaining the show's signature comedic style.
Notable Quotes:
This episode of The BOB & TOM Show combines humor, listener interactions, and a mix of bizarre and interesting news stories. From quirky services like rent-a-grandmother in Japan to the influence of a fictional dog on real-life dog adoptions, the show delivers a blend of entertainment and information with the hosts' characteristic wit and banter.
Listeners who missed this episode can subscribe to The BOB & TOM Show for more engaging content, comedy, news, and sports updates every weekday morning from 6 to 10 AM EST.