The BOB & TOM Show - July 3, 2025

Summary

Podcast Summary: The BOB & TOM Show – July 3, 2025

Host: The BOB & TOM Show | Cumulus Podcast Network

The July 3, 2025 episode of The BOB & TOM Show delivered a blend of humor, insightful conversations, and engaging stories, staying true to its reputation for mixing comedy, talk, news, and sports. Below is a detailed summary capturing the episode's key segments, notable quotes, and discussions.

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1. Opening Segment: Family Mishaps and Fireworks

The show kicked off with a heartfelt yet humorous recounting of a family accident during a backyard fireworks display on Independence Day.

Tom shared:

"On Independence Day in an accident at our backyard fireworks display, my dad gave two thumbs up. Kaboom, kaboom, kaboom." ([00:37])

The incident resulted in injuries, including cuts and bruises to his mother and a broken finger for his father. The discussion touched on the aftermath, including unrecognized insurance visits and the community's response.

2. Household Habits and Humor

Tom and Christy delved into everyday topics like shopping preferences and personal hygiene routines, injecting humor into mundane tasks.

A notable exchange included:

• Christy: "I sprinkle Arm & Hammer. That's right. Ivory. So I use different kinds of toothpaste." ([05:04])
• Tom: "You'd be good because. What the price of things." ([05:02])

Their playful banter highlighted the differences in their shopping habits and personal routines, offering listeners relatable content infused with humor.

3. Comedy Spotlight: Patrick Keane

The show featured comedian Patrick Keane, who discussed his experiences with sports rivalries and cruise ship entertainment.

Notable Quote:

"It's tough though, because you have so many different elements on a cruise ship. You have retirees, you got young college kids. You've got the upside down pineapple people." ([15:17])

Patrick humorously addressed the diverse demographics on cruise ships, emphasizing the challenge of entertaining varied audiences.

4. Actor Insights: Billy Gardell and Drew Powell

Actors Billy Gardell and Drew Powell joined the studio, sharing anecdotes from their acting careers, including audition mishaps and the dynamics of returning to beloved shows like Malcolm in the Middle.

Drew Powell recounted:

"I hit eyeball. Like, I felt the gooshiness of my retina and I just yelled an expletive at the top of my lungs." ([150:09])

Their stories provided an insider's look into the entertainment industry, blending humor with personal experiences.

5. Retail Realities with Roy Wood Jr.

Roy Wood Jr., a veteran stand-up comedian, discussed the decline of personal interactions in retail environments. The conversation emphasized the loss of small talk and human connection in an increasingly automated shopping landscape.

Roy Wood Jr. stated:

"Just a regular Southern way. Well, how you doing? Oh, the catfish." ([72:09])

He highlighted the importance of casual conversations in maintaining social bonds, lamenting their absence in modern retail settings.

6. News Highlights and Health Discussions

The hosts addressed various news stories, blending serious topics with their signature humor:

• Cannabis and Sexual Health: Tom discussed a study linking regular cannabis use to reduced sexual function in men.

  Tom:

  "Cannabis users also struggled with sex, struggled with sexual esteem and elevated sexual related depression." ([17:18])

• Snake Bite Incident: A dramatic recounting of a man bitten by a snake in Brazil, emphasizing the dangers of wildlife interactions.

  Tom:

  "The incident occurred in Panital, Brazil, where the man was taken to the hospital for medical treatment." ([164:05])

7. Life Skills: "Things to Know by Age 18"

A recurring theme focused on essential life skills everyone should master by adulthood. The hosts and guests humorously debated various competencies, from changing a tire to packing a suitcase efficiently.

Christy emphasized:

"One, you can sew. We've got another question about this, this video and I asked this about a lot of these videos." ([132:23])

The segment provided both practical advice and comedic takes on the challenges of acquiring these skills.

8. Unique Segments and Listener Interactions

Throughout the episode, the show included unique segments like "Yachts for Tots" and stories from listeners about unusual incidents, such as a woman defecating in a beer cooler or a man fleeing a store ride in his Crocs.

Tom shared:

"Customers pay $6.60 to enter the shop where they have 60 seconds to snatch up any merchandise they like as quietly as they can." ([157:35])

These stories were discussed with a mix of amusement and disbelief, reflecting the show's ability to find humor in bizarre real-life events.

9. Closing Thoughts: Relationships and Social Norms

In the latter part of the show, discussions veered towards relationships, societal expectations, and personal anecdotes about dating and household dynamics.

Christy humorously remarked:

"Being independent and partying and getting on the ring. Audrey, have you ever shoplifted?" ([137:57])

These conversations underscored the show's blend of personal stories with broader social commentary.

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Conclusion

The July 3, 2025 episode of The BOB & TOM Show was a testament to its enduring appeal, combining humor with heartfelt stories and insightful discussions. From family mishaps and comedy insights to critical conversations about societal changes, the hosts and guests delivered an engaging and entertaining hour for listeners nationwide.

Notable Quotes:

• Tom: "Have some patience." ([86:00])
• Patrick Keane: "Like, I wanted to marry a big farm girl." ([14:29])
• Roy Wood Jr.: "We really underestimated how much small talk plays a role in keeping crazy people calm." ([72:09])

Listeners can subscribe to access the full, commercial-free VIP podcast at BobAndTom.com/VIP.

Transcript

[Tom]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today.

[Christy]

Smart choice.

[Tom]

Progressive loves to help people make smart choices. That's why they offer a tool called Auto Quote Explorer that allows you to compare your Progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies. So you save time on the research and can enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you. Give it a try after this [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates not available in all states or situations.

[Christy]

Prices vary based on how you buy. Now more than ever, Lowes knows you don't just want a low price. You want the lowest price. And with our lowest price guarantee, you can count on us for competitive prices on all your home improvement projects. If you find a qualifying lower price somewhere else on the same item, we'll match it. Lowe's. We help you save price match applies to same item current price at qualifying retailers. Exclusions and terms apply. Learn how we'll match price@lowe's.com lowest price guarantee. It's the Bob and Tom Show. He gave two thumbs up. Like Roger Ebert. Two thumbs up. On Independence Day in an accident at our backyard fireworks display, my dad gave two thumbs up. Kaboom, kaboom, kaboom. Our neighbor heard the screaming and ran out to his yard and got the finger from my dad. More than one. And gunpowder was found underneath dad's fingernails. Underneath a Chevrolet parked half a mile away. My dad always had my mother. My mother wrapped around his little finger. Tell us more. Well, that finger and my mom landed on the roof. She got cuts and bruises and shingles. Ouch. As dad recovered, visitors came by. His insurance man came and went unrecognized. Cause to my dad, everybody looked like good hands people. He can't do here's the church. He can't do here's the steeple. Except up to his second knuckle man. I'm hoping that his luck will be better next time. Have a safe, safe, safe, safe. Fourth, Fourth of July. Fourth of July. Just the way we rehearsed it. Hey, you guys, would you mind stop snapping your fingers? It makes my dad jealous. Good morning. Hello. From coast to coast, it's the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom, Bob and Tom, Bob and Tom. Many portions of the upcoming program have been pre recorded, meaning they've already happened and they're about to happen again. So where was I? Oh. Oh, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, we're glad to have you here. It's the Bob and Tom Show. All right. Check. Were you a Price is Right Fan. No. No. Really? Not really. Costco now sells full essentially full size Plinko boards.

[Tom]

Are you serious?

[Christy]

They're the official Plinko game. Oh my.

[Tom]

How much that set us back?

[Christy]

I believe it was 799. Oh. And yes, that will. We will be setting Tom back seven.

[Tom]

I say are we getting one?

[Christy]

I say I wasn't a Price is Right fan but my favorite games are Plinko and the yodeling Yodeling guy. Love yodeling. Yeah. Yeah. That's really good. That's a good game. I was a hole in one. One or two guy. Yes. Okay. Or two was always the. He would hit the right thing. I went to college with a bunch of pinkos. Is that something like that? A little bit. Okay. Okay. I don't know. I've. I've always hated that show. I've never watched. I don't know what Plinko means.

[Tom]

You don't?

[Christy]

Okay. I have no idea. Well.

[Tom]

And you have. Well, no. You would be good because. What the price of things.

[Christy]

I don't. I don't know the price of anything.

[Tom]

You shop all the time.

[Christy]

I don't pay attention. I couldn't tell you what eggs were gas. I would love to see Tom on the prices. I have. I have. And here we have grass toothpaste. Toothpaste is. I grew up on Pepsident. I learned a long time ago I can't the price of gas. I never look. There's nothing I can do about it. I'm not going to let it worry me. I just brush with. I sprinkle arm and hammer. That's right. Ivory. So I use. I have right now at least five different kinds of toothpaste in my drawer. And however I'm picking on Tom. But you and I are a brotherhood. A brotherhood of toothpaste in the mouth. Then you grab your brush into the shower weirdos and go to t. Right? Yeah. Nobody else uses my toothpaste so I don't have to worry about. And they'll brush in the shower. Yeah, absolutely. And sometimes. Sometimes. That is disgusting. Well, it's fun because you spit it on your urine and then it makes a little. Exactly. Right. And then when I'm in the shower with Tom, we interlay arms and we brush each other's teeth. That is adorbs. It sounds like a sex move is what it is. I want to brush my teeth. I feel like this is all leading to a very awkward conversation with a plumber. In 10 years you haven't been urinating and brushing your teeth down this. Those two tend to bond. I have to deal with this all the time.

[Tom]

Shower doors. Do you have shower doors on your shower?

[Christy]

Of course. Are they curtains? Do they slide or do they. No, no, it's a regular door. Okay. I.

[Tom]

Because there's a new trend.

[Christy]

Something else we have.

[Tom]

Not putting shower doors on your shower.

[Christy]

Oh, get the water all over the floor, though.

[Tom]

I made the mistake. I took a shower for the first time this morning in our new house.

[Christy]

Smelled so nasty.

[Tom]

But I don't have shower doors yet. The shower door is getting installed on Wednesday. But the design flaw that I made is the full length mirror in my closet shines right into the shower. So that's the first thing.

[Christy]

Yeah. In the morning.

[Tom]

That's not a good look.

[Christy]

Well, I'm your first cup of coffee. I'm Christie's husband, Andy, and apparently there's a problem with the house. Andy. Andy, I can't help but notice you're wearing a bolo tie every time. What is your nickname for Christy? Andy? Her. Yeah. And every time she. Every time she gets in the shower, evidently you can see her through a extensive series of mirrors.

[Tom]

Mirrors right there.

[Christy]

It's right there. That's like hotels that you sit down to go to the bathroom. And the mirrors right there. It's not a good look. Doesn't it get all steamed up?

[Tom]

I don't have showers. When the shower door gets installed, it'll steam up.

[Christy]

Does Andy stand there and pant while you're. No, I stand there and sleep.

[Tom]

It was the sleep.

[Christy]

I call it. The chore is what I call it. You ever had to answer the door wearing. Ever had to answer the door wearing a towel because your shower door set off your burglar alarm? No.

[Tom]

How does that happen?

[Christy]

Easy. The shower door set off the burglar. Another story. It was. It was. It was. This was three. Wait a minute. One, two, three. Four houses ago, I had a sliding glass door on the. On the shower. I hope to never say four houses ago. And that is the most. I was by myself.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Christy]

And I had a. There's a glass break alarm on the. On this particular house. I have one on mine too. Right. If you break the glass, the alarm goes off course.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Christy]

So the. When you. When. If you. I learned the hard way. When you shut that. When you shut that glass door, it goes. And it set off the alarm. I didn't. So I'm by myself. It's four in the morning. So I'm taking a shower. I get out of the shower and I look out and I said, oh, that's funny. Someone must have their Christmas lights on. And there were three cops in my driveway. I came downstairs. Hey, Tom, what's going on? Oh, I. I'm not so sure it was. It was the shower door. So it's not a glass break at all. It's a glass gang. And then it went off another time when I dropped the glass cover to my frying pan. Wow. What, man? Yeah, it was very sensitive that a friend of mine lives in that house. I better warn him. No way to live, boy. Yeah, next door to Tom's no way to live now. So, Christy, you took the first shower in your new house.

[Tom]

Yeah, it was awesome, too.

[Christy]

You never know how much room is in that thing. Is it a stand up?

[Tom]

It's huge.

[Christy]

So you can see you stand up for two people?

[Tom]

Yeah, you can put three or four.

[Christy]

How many nozzles you got in there?

[Tom]

With two. We have the rain shower one, and then the one on the.

[Christy]

You have the one that's like a microphone, so you can take it.

[Tom]

I chose not to add that.

[Christy]

Oh, that's the best.

[Tom]

I bought it, but I chose.

[Christy]

They.

[Tom]

They didn't put it on.

[Christy]

You put that on high and you get to get a good team. Burn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pressure washer.

[Tom]

No, I don't need that.

[Christy]

What do you hate orgasms.

[Tom]

Elsewhere.

[Christy]

You hate money and orgasm. Christy, when you were looking at your house before you bought it, did you turn on all the showers? No, that's a must. I know I would do that when I would rent. Are you testing the water pressure? Yes, I should have, but apparently we have to move now. The water pressure's low. A lot of pressure, Andy. But you've been in the house for two days. Yeah, I know. One day. Have you found a. Have you found a place you can get by yourself? Yeah, it's a hotel. Down. Have you started wondering which girder is the sturdiest? What rope would work best, really? You know, you don't really need a noose. That's the nice thing. Exposed beam ceilings. Can you tile a bowline? Oh, yeah. Over, under, around. Like the rabbit goes through the hole. Yeah, that's all you have to do. I'm an old sailor. Yeah, you don't need much rope either, really. All right. Yeah, we're getting requests for me to do that. Hey, welcome to the Best of the Bob and Tom Show. This is Christopher in the Bob and to studios. Coming up on the show today, Audrey Stewart plus Christie is pissed. Dustin Nickerson, the bird feeder. Nick Griffin, and lots More. But coming up next on this Bob and Tom Show. Morning, Patrick Keane and cruise ships. You'll hear all about that coming up next. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Foreign this episode brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Shifting a little money here, a little there, hoping it all works out well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can get a better budgeter and potentially lower your insurance bill too. You tell Progressive what you want to pay for car insurance and they'll help find you options within your budget. Try it [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Here's a segment with comedian Patrick Keane and some cruise ship talk. Hello, Tom. Yes. We'd be remiss if we didn't mention you. You laid on a reference just now to. I think we're alone now. Thank you, behavior.

[Tom]

Thank you. Nobody else got.

[Christy]

Isn't that from 50 songs? Not the Tiffany version.

[Tom]

Tommy James and the Sean.

[Christy]

I think we're alone now. Yes.

[Tom]

Great song.

[Christy]

I don't hate the Tiffany. What about Crystal Blue Persuade? That's not even, that's not even the best Tommy James. Money, money, money, you painfully unhip. What? Is it true that he M O N Y neutral New York sign wrote Mony Moni? That's absolutely true. Okay, very good. Our guest has no idea what's happening. Patrick Keane, handsome young man, stand up comedian is here with us in the studio. You are a Buckeye. You said you grew up in Toledo, Ohio? Yeah, you know, Toledo's border town, so there's a lot of Michiganistan fans, a lot of Wolverines. So the Friday before that game, all the schools, the kids dress in whichever one of those two. And it's funny because you like, you travel around the country, there's no other rivalry. Like, like I, you know, and then I went to high school in Southern California and people said, oh, usc, UCLA is just as big. I'm like, it doesn't touch no state. Michigan. Yeah. I mean, and Toledo was almost a Michigan town. That, that, that, Right? Battle, War. Yeah, yeah, that's right. We learned all about that. Oh, you did? Oh, okay. You're just talking about it last week there was an actual war. No, no blood was shed though. Is that correct? Did they pick off one guy? Maybe? Well, to give you an idea, there are Ohio State fans. As I'm talking to you right now that are. Yeah, we won the national championship, but we lost to Michigan. And they will not get over that until they can beat them. You wait and see. And they want the coach out. Yes. They talk. Yeah, he just won that. Shut up. Fire him. He can't beat Michigan. Patrick, we established the fact that you are a single male of a certain age. That's right. That's right. Single. No, I've never been married. You know, I. I'm not a. I'm not a father. Husband. I do have all the side effects. I'm tired, I'm out of shape. I don't have any money. Right. I yell at other people's children. So there you go. I'm like a dad. That sounds good, right? That's dead on.

[Tom]

Do you want to get married and have kids?

[Christy]

I don't know. That's a good point. I. Good question. I. I don't know. I think I'm old enough now to do the sugar daddy thing. Problem is, there's no sugar I haven't saved. Be like a sugar free daddy. Yeah. Blended. I mean, what. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Unequal. Yeah. These are all good. Now, you have been traveling the world, I understand. You are. You do the cruise ships on occasion. Yeah, a little of the cruise ships. It's tough though, because you have so many different elements on a cruise ship. Right. You have retirees, you got young college kids. You've got the upside down pineapple people. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. To get all them to laugh at the same thing. Not easy.

[Tom]

Not fun.

[Christy]

You know? I do. Yeah. I didn't know the upside down pineapple thing until recently on the door. Swingers.

[Tom]

Swingers.

[Christy]

Wow. That is. Yeah. I don't see you as being a big. No. A force in the swinger community. And also on the topic of pineapple, there's a restaurant I go to when I order a thing of fruit. I don't want 90 pineapples. Stop it. What do you want? I want raspberries, blueberries. The pineapple berries. What about melon? A nice melon occasionally, like mango or honeydew. You can have a little pineapple though, right? They're tea stinks. Oh, I gotta get him to switch to java. For the most part. Do you like the ships, Patrick? Yeah, yeah, yeah. For the most part. Other than the shows? Other than my shows, but yeah. No, you're traveling, you're eating endlessly. It's funny that you eat that they have those buffets because you'd think, like, you need to stay afloat. But you eat those buffets, the ship gets further, further. Go crazy. I had no idea it worked like that. Yeah. You leave as a ship, you come back to port as a submarine and you're not allowed to. What's the word?

[Tom]

Fratinize with the guests, hang out.

[Christy]

It depends on the actual. Yeah. Bang the help, I think is what. On carnival you can't bang the help. But do you have like a separate. Is there like a little nightclub just for the staff? Yes, there is a crew bar. And can you. Gray. Very gray area. And I think it's almost like you get punished if you get caught. Oh, just don't get caught. A lot of guys are real sneaky but about it. Yeah. Have you ever had a. Yeah. Doing. Doing some of the things that I've done. Yeah. Yeah. Naturally things happen, you know, on the high seas. Sure. Patrick. You can't stop loss international waters out there on the chop. Anything. Right. So some of these things are still perfectly legal. If you're right. 20 miles offshore, people know how to stand on the cameras. Yeah. Oh, say, speaking of offshore and illegal, did you see this marijuana survey? This is kind of an interesting story there. We like to look at these various studies. Cannabis in the news all the time now because it's legal and what is it, 20? I can never remember where it's legal anymore. But.

[Tom]

New study suggests cannabis use significantly reduces sexual function in men. Researchers found men who regularly use cannabis reported lower sexual satisfaction, lower sexual desire and more erectile dysfunction.

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Cannabis users also struggled with sex, struggled with sexual esteem and elevated sexual related depression. Chronic use has been linked to lower testosterone levels, vascular problems and disruptions in brain regions that regulate sexual function.

[Christy]

Interesting. I'm surprised they haven't come up with some way to counter that. Maybe like a combination of Cialis and thc. You know thc? Alice. Oh, you got it right there. Thc, Alice. It makes you. What? How do I word this? Delicately. I don't know how high and hard you ever. The old high, hard one. High and horny. You're. You're killing it, Josh. That's perfect. The. The Kush for your bush. There you go. Thank you. Something's coming. I mean, somebody know something? Is this. I don't smoke pot. Is this a thing though? I mean, is this like the equivalent of whiskey dick? I think this is more long term.

[Tom]

Oh, is it?

[Christy]

Yes, from what I've read it is. Yeah.

[Tom]

I am not a usual. I don't know because I've never.

[Christy]

So. Because so this.

[Tom]

I've never been with A man who uses a lot of marijuana and I've.

[Christy]

That you know of.

[Tom]

Well, that's true.

[Christy]

Andy has many secrets.

[Tom]

Oh, God. Andy's the last.

[Christy]

You mean the. To Captain? That's what we call him. Yeah. I mean, where is. Where is he? It's 4am Andy. You mean. Are you. Are you talking about Chief Big Bongum? Peace pipe. What'd you say? Josh, is. This is if you get super high. It doesn't mean that it might affect you then. But this is more long term. Use it over the long term.

[Tom]

Regular user like.

[Christy]

Right. Okay. It's not like Bong Dong or something. Might be a thing. He's got a new movie out, Mickey 17. It's really good. Oh, no, that's Bong. Who June or whatever. Yeah, sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, you're right. When you're right, you're right. Yeah. Robert Patterson, a great little actor. Our guest in the studio is the very handsome Patrick Keane. Patrick, you said your parents won from Michigan, one from Ohio. Yeah. Now you're living in Arizona. I'm living in Arizona. That I got all that. Are you of Irish heritage, I assume? With a name like that. Yeah, I grew up Irish. I'm not practicing anymore. Oh, okay. Put the bottle down. But yeah, yeah, yeah. When we used to like, you know, whenever our dad caught us drinking beer as kids, we were only punished if it was non alcoholic. You guys. Yeah, that's an Irish family. Oh, yeah. That's way. Oh, you're quite. We have a reputation to apply, you know. You kids are out of here. It's a well earned one. Now what you went to high school though, in San Diego? In Santa Margarita. Carson Palmer just got named our high school football coach out there. So he's. He's coaching our old high school team there and. Yeah. Raised in the suburbs. And a lot of suburban fathers, you guys know this. A lot of suburban fathers think their kids are going to the pros and it's not happening. And it's like, yeah, your son's in the wrong end zone pretending he's an airplane. You know, playing with. You know, playing with dandelions. I don't think he's gonna play in the NFL. My dad did his part. He was a big guy who's athletic. But if you want a son in the big leagues, you need to marry a big farm girl or a tough inner city girl or a big, tough South Pacific island woman. Absolutely. When you marry a sweet little Irish girl who likes musicals, your son might turn out to be a misshapen. Stand up comedian. Yeah, I see a. Very good. Very good for me. Thank you. Patrick Keane is our guest. I turn over that way.

[Tom]

Can I ask a question? What was your high school team name? The Santa Margarita Eagles.

[Christy]

Because there's mountains there and there's eagles.

[Tom]

Not the Pinot Grigio?

[Christy]

No, no. Oh, that would have been great. Yeah. Now, did you go to one of those LA high schools that had the outdoor lockers? Yeah, we had outdoor lockers, yeah. And now. No, that is so weird. It's like. And then they. Now the malls are that way in California in some place. Yeah. Cool. Every TV show. Don't they use the same school for every TV show? Like it, but so it's always as well. Tell me. I can record one show and watch another. I don't know what you're talking about when you say outdoor lockers. I don't get it. You had indoor lockers, right? You're a good Ohio boy, just like me. Inside here, of course. Oh yeah. Locks would freeze. Absolutely. Right. Yeah. All right. I had to wear a coat and tie all through high school.

[Tom]

Oh, speaking of that.

[Christy]

I bet you did you privilege. Sorry. My fault.

[Tom]

A new poll shows that wearing more dressy attire can give the average man a confidence boost.

[Christy]

Is that right?

[Tom]

Commissioned by Generation Tux, the Talker research survey of American men revealed that on the average man feels nearly 70% more confident when sporting their best suit or tuxedo.

[Christy]

70%, that's a huge amount. Could I. Could I racehorse. Could I once again say consider the source Generation Tux.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Christy]

First of all, great name. Oh, that is a great name. And this is obviously this is the season for tuxedo. Tuxedo rental is a big prom, weddings, everything. Yeah. Generation Tux sounds like the age you get hemorrhoids. Oh, he's part of Generation Tux. Yeah. If you've got that hemorrhoid if soothing cool.

[Tom]

Or after you've had a baby.

[Christy]

Is there an age component to roids? I think so. It's just everything's been around long enough. You ever had them? Gravity takes its toll. No, thankfully I have not that. Never had him. Joshi. No, I've had an anal fissure. Yes, I've had a anal fisher. Everybody get comfortable. I know a fisherman. Yeah, I'm an anal fisher. I like to put treble hooks up there. Now I had a. I don't know how I got the anal fisher. And I asked and. And they said happens pegging. I've never been pegged. I had a. I had a fistula on my tailbone. Oh, dear. That's. Would you like to hear about that? I hope they eased it in. I'm Count Fistula. It's an ingrown hair that they found when I was a senior in high school.

[Tom]

That had to hurt.

[Christy]

They had to sew me back up. I had two holes. Wow. Wow. Two holes. No way. We have to do Count Fistula for help. Okay, we can do that now. But. So the point of the survey is, if you're wearing fancier clothes, you. You behave better. I disagree.

[Tom]

You feel more confident.

[Christy]

I feel way less confident when I'm dressed up.

[Tom]

That's really surprising. 85% said they know the difference between a suit and a tuxedo. 15% of men don't know the difference.

[Christy]

That's. That's about right. I'm sure a lot of guys never have to get dressed up at all.

[Tom]

All right, one in five men admit they don't feel confident about knowing how to tie a necktie. And 50% said they cannot tie a bow tie. That's really hard.

[Christy]

I can't either. I'm not gonna try. I. I have a fake bow tie. Bow tie. Yes. I have a clip on bow tie. Yeah. Now, I don't own any clip on neckties, but you guys know I am a big proponent of them.

[Tom]

10 of the people surveyed do.

[Christy]

I am not. I don't know. You cannot tell the difference. When I went to high school, the first day there, they walk around and they grab your tie and yank it. And there was one guy had a fake tie on. Like the preppy bully. Worse. Oh, no, there isn't. Yeah, try. Try having no pubic hair. You wonder why I hate athletes. There you go. Hey, piglet, get over here. Yeah, I looked like Patrick Keane after he got out of the. Okay. The cold tub, you know? Okay. But, yeah, I can tie a regular tie, obviously. Sure, sure.

[Tom]

But not obviously. A lot of men can't. I bet.

[Christy]

I just had to wear one for something, and it took me five or six tries. I kept having the yes back part. A little too low. I was gonna say. I never nailed it. First time. Never ever. But I love it in the movies where the guy does that. Takes a pair of scissors and cuts it off. I got it. Now we're good. What is that, a Stooges movie? I don't think anybody. Yeah, Harpo. Mark. Oh, it's the best. What? Yeah, and of course, I have a couple of Jerry Garcia ties, which, of course, ties into our theme today, which is the song Dire Wolf. Yeah, let's get back to that.

[Tom]

Are you familiar with dire.

[Christy]

Hi. Welcome to hell. This is our theme song. Sorry. Patrick know this, Patrick? I don't know this one. Of course not. No one alive. Here's the hook right now. Don't murder me. Jerry Garcia and Robert Hunter wrote that one for the Grateful Dead. And the Dire Wolf is in the news because some corporation is doing the CRISPR genome splicing or whatever the hell is and they're creating new diet.

[Tom]

I think we are alone now, Josh.

[Christy]

Okay, sorry. So would you wear a clip on tie then, Josh? I. I don't. But I think we. I think they should be socially acceptable. They look. If you had a lineup of 10 guys and they're all wearing neckties, you could not pick out the guy who was wearing the clip on. You have a clip on ascot, is that correct? Yes, of course. Absolutely. That's from the Charles Nelson Riley line. It's in the same box as my cigarette holder.

[Tom]

Is anybody trying to smoking jacket?

[Christy]

Percy Dove tonsils is what I like to go by. Is there a contemporary actor that is trying to pull off the ascot? I don't think so. Peter Bogdanovich, the director did it a lot.

[Tom]

I think the ascot looks very cool.

[Christy]

Really?

[Tom]

Very European. Very cool.

[Christy]

Yeah. I've always wanted to look like Mr. Furley. Oh yeah. All in on the bender. Okay, Mr. Paul Lynd, while we have you here, I did have a question. What's your question? Where is the Sistine Chapel located? Right next to the 15th Chapel. That's Paul Lampard. Oh, Paul. Now you drove Paul in around Kenley Players, right? Columbus, Ohio. I drove him around. He had issues. Issues with drinking. So they didn't want to have him get another dui. So it was my job. Will you please tell the story of. There was an aroma and he. He claimed. And you can use the V word. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was. I was taking him. I got him off the plane and you got. You took him from the airport get him off on the plane. I'm sure that for you were a desperate actor. Well, just this one took him to this horrible Volkswagen. I had him and his partner and they had two dogs with them. And I drive them to Columbus across from the. The Neil house was. It was where the. The show was at. And there's a trailer behind the theater. And I get him in the trailer. It has been clean. Henry Winkler was there the week before. And it's filthy. It's just stuff everywhere. And he comes into the trailer and he goes, it Smells like vagina, I think. Coming up in just a couple of minutes, comedian Nick Griffin. He's one of our favorites. We'll have him coming up next. This is the Bob and Tom show. Welcome to AutoZone. What are you working on today? Hey, that's the spirit. Right now we're celebrating free with a free STP oil filter when you buy five quarts of oil. And free Duralast brake pads when you buy two rotors, like always. Free battery, testing, charging and recycling at every store. Celebrate free at AutoZone now through July 28th. Get in the zone. Auto zone restrictions apply. Have you always wanted to do voice impressions, but no one can figure out who you're supposed to be? Oh man, that just happened to me last weekend. I walked into a party, I said, my name is Bond, James Bond. I'll have a martini, shaken, not stirred. And they all just stared at me. Well, now you can learn directly from the master comedian and impressionist, Frank Caliendo. Hi, I'm Frank Caliendo. Or wait, wait, wait, wait. Maybe it's not Frank. Maybe it's me. Or Jeff Goldblum. Or maybe it's not. I'm joking. It really is me, Frank Caliendo. And I'm here to tell you about my amazing new program, the Voice Impersonator School of America. That's where I teach everyday people to do dead on impressions like Liam Neeson. I have a very particular set of skills and one of those skills is teaching people how to talk like Liam Neeson. Pretty neat, huh? Sure is, Frank. The Voice Impersonator School of America. Just listen to what this graduate has to say. I never was no good at doing impersonations until I went to Frank's school. But now, well, check this out. Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? You must be talking to me because I'm Robert De Niro in that one movie where I drive a cab. Are you talking to me? That was Robert De Niro. Pretty good, right? This school is a great investment and there's no risk. If you don't pass each Voice with a B plus or better, you get your money back. So far, Frank hasn't had to refund a single. Sure. Damn right. Heck, I'm thinking about getting my master's degree. Or as the Terminator Arnold Schwarzenegger would say, I will be back. That's an A plus, my friend. Don't delay. Classes are filling up fast. You can learn all 1000 voices from the man of a Thousand voices for just $20,000. That's only $20 per voice. Let's listen in on a classroom as Frank shares his gift with students. Okay, remember, the voice is deep and gravelly in the back of your throat. You are Al Pacino. Repeat after me. Hooah. Wow, that was amazing. Every single one of you gets an A. Okay, al Pacino was 628. Number 629. Repeat after me. Alrighty. Frank, you tell your mom and dad I said hello. Excuse me, Professor Caliendo? Yes? You have a question? Who was that supposed to be? That's Dennis, the guy who worked at the corner store in my neighborhood as a kid. Nice guy. A pluses all around. Number 630 is a good one. Ted Knight. Try this sporting. I want you in the golf course in five minutes. Chop, chop. Great. A plus for everyone. Now, number six. 31. Ted Knight's laugh. Wait, those count as two? Yes, yes. Ted Knight is one and Ted Knight's laugh is two. Maybe you should have signed up for math class, not voice impressions class. Hi, this is Morgan Freeman, as portrayed by my good friend Frank Caliendo. If I were really here. I tell you Frank's school is completely legit and I encourage everyone to enroll immediately. Tell them Morgan Freeman sent you. Morgan Freeman and all other celebrity voices are fake impersonations by celebrity voice impersonator Frank Caliento, who claims he's also a celebrity. Hey, I am a celebrity voice impersonator. School of America. Call now to enroll before any lawyers get wind of this. So call that number on your screen. There's probably no number on the screen because it's radio. I mean, make up a number, dial it. It'll probably be me. 444. Boom. Thank you very much. More of the Bob and Tom show now. Welcome back. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios. Here's a segment with one of our favorites, comedian Nick Griffin, and we'll move forward here. We do have Christy Lee. As you can hear and see what's happening.

[Tom]

A school in the UK is trying to help students get over their fear of making phone calls. According to the BBC, Nottingham College is running coaching sessions that help those suffering from so called telephobia. During the session, students practice etiquette and build confidence by role playing interviews. Attendees are also encouraged to call restaurants about their operating hours as well as stores to see if certain items are in stock. A recent survey of 2,000 people found nearly 70% of people aged 18 to 34 refer a text to a phone call, with 23% of the same age group saying they never pick up calls.

[Christy]

Wow. All right, man. Yeah, I, I don't get it.

[Tom]

Well, 16 year old student Donna told the BBC she was mostly anxious when the phone rang because it's normalized for our generation to be used to text messages. She's talking about her generation. So if the phone rings, she immediately thinks it's an emergency. And I could see that they trained them.

[Christy]

Right. Right. So the class is trying to get them to stop being afraid of the phone.

[Tom]

Right.

[Christy]

Do they do a thing about being afraid of the dentist? Yeah, that'd be helpful. It isn't the UK you see there. Oh, boy. You know what he's doing there? I. I can't let any of these stories go by about. At least. No, I have a child who had a job and, or. And they, they got sick and they're like, what do I do? And I go, oh, well, you just gotta call into work. And they go, what do you. How do I do that? And I go, you call, you call. They go like, like call, call. And I go, yeah, just call your boss and tell them you're sick.

[Tom]

Right.

[Christy]

They. They're like, I can't text them. And I go, well, they didn't have their number. I was like, no, just call the police. It two hours before they felt comfortable to work up the nerve to call and speak with someone else. Now, a lot of offices, it's a hotline, really. You call a number and you just say, hey, I'm not. This is Josh Arnold. I'm not coming in today. And then the person, when they get to work goes through.

[Tom]

Oh, that'd be great.

[Christy]

Yeah. So you don't have to.

[Tom]

You don't have to.

[Christy]

Yeah. So that's. There's no reason to have this course. No, these. These people will never all of a sudden start calling each other. They're already raised and trained. There was a new story I don't think we covered a couple weeks ago about how these new people interviewing over zoom don't want to be seen. What? Yeah, they're doing zoom interviews and they won't turn on their camera. Like, 25% of the people refuse to turn on their cameras for a Zoom interview. Oh, you're not hired. Yeah, no, that's exactly what I want. Yeah. Here. Interview over. Right, Next. Yeah. These are job interviews. Yeah.

[Tom]

Are they saying they don't want it because they don't want to be judged by the way they look?

[Christy]

That. I didn't get that far into it. They just said they were uncomfortable doing a. They would zoom, but not on camera. Yeah, they're probably using some kind of excuse involving being discriminated against, you know, because they're a booger eating. Oh, sorry. Interesting take.

[Tom]

You think you could hold the booger eating during an interview?

[Christy]

I don't. Wait, Nick Griffin, when was the last time you had a job interview? Oh God, I'm so sorry. Did you ever have a job? Yeah, when I lived in New York. Well, you know what my last job was? My last job was being a maid in la. No kidding? Yeah, it was called Made to Order. And you went to a home office in the morning and they gave you work orders and you would go to the various apartments. Sometimes there was a key under the mat, sometimes they were there and you would clean their house and you would wear like the maid outfit? Yes, I would wear the maid outfit. Oh, lovely. And that's how you met your first one. Complete cover for prostitution. That's what I was trying to get at. Right. Are you a good cleaner? I'm much better. I grew up with six brothers and sisters and I just. My parents weren't, you know, how do you control. How do you get six kids to clean their eyes? So I wasn't until I became a maid that I was a good. Now I'm my. Now my apartment is spotless. That's not a bad gig. You go and you're solitary. Yeah, yeah. I remember there was this one house though that. And I did it more than once where there was a little boy, he's probably like 5, and his mom would let him walk around with me as I'm doing the part and he'd go, no, you missed that. No, you missed that. Mommy missed that. Did you like it or hate it? I hated it. That's incredible. Sounds like a good premise for a movie. Yeah, A guy going to clean strangers houses. God, that's fun. That's cool.

[Tom]

I hate being there when someone's cleaning my house. I hate that.

[Christy]

Yeah, I. I could see that.

[Tom]

It's awkward. I don't feel either.

[Christy]

What, do they find stuff and.

[Tom]

No, but it's just. I feel like I'm in her way and it's just awkward and I mean. And she's like a family member I've had.

[Christy]

Oh yeah? Yeah. Apparently you do everything to avoid her.

[Tom]

It's not. I'm avoiding her. I've been to her daughter's wedding. I love her, but it's just. I feel like I'm in her way and I don't want to hurt. Going home, going.

[Christy]

Do you feel obligated to entertain her and engage her in conversation.

[Tom]

Yeah. Yes. I feel like I should be cleaning my own house.

[Christy]

Oh, my God. My dad one time hired a maid for my mother to help her out. But my mom cleaned for 24 hours straight before the woman came because she didn't want her to see how badly we lived, I guess. And so there was no point of hiring the maid. That's ridiculous. Yeah, it worked though. The end result was the same. House was clean. The job got done. Yeah, money. But you clean too.

[Tom]

I tend to pick up everything. Yes. And then we. My husband now starts the sheets before she gets there. And so we help her out a lot. But I still feel like now when you.

[Christy]

Just to clarify your husband.

[Tom]

What?

[Christy]

It starts the sheets in the washing machine. It doesn't soil them to give her something to do. Hey, how do you start those sheets? Hey, I left a fresh one in there for you. Get to work. Work. He's just a monster. Yeah. See that stainless Looks like mainland China, doesn't it? I'm pretty proud of it.

[Tom]

It's the farthest from the truth at my house. You know that.

[Christy]

Okay, so sorry. What else you've got over there?

[Tom]

This guy calls himself the world's most famous sperm donor and he says he plans to father 100 children by the end of this year. Mr. Kyle Gordy, who also refers to himself as, quote, CEO of sperm donating, offers both remote and in person or something.

[Christy]

Yeah, I mean, it does. Has no ring to it.

[Tom]

No, no, we didn't say it was creative. Remote and in person insemination is available for women looking to conceive.

[Christy]

Now, wait a minute.

[Tom]

All for free?

[Christy]

Does in person insemination mean actual intimacy? I doubt it. And he's. Oh, how generous. He's doing it for free. Yes. How nice of him.

[Tom]

The 32 year old has fathered 87 children so far, but learned that he's on track to hit 100 babies by the end of the year. Mr. Gordy told Jam Press it feels great to be a dad of so many children.

[Christy]

How many?

[Tom]

87 so far.

[Christy]

Dude, that guy's tie collection has to be on point. Wait till the child support knocks on the door. Exactly.

[Tom]

He says he's helped conceive all across the globe. The serial sperm donor said he plans to surpass Telegram founder Pavel Durov, who is reported to have at least 100 biological children. And this gentleman is currently on a 2025 donation world tour and jokes he might have a quote, child in each country by 2026.

[Christy]

This is an odd thing. There Was a character on one of the guys on 90 day. Fiance. Who? That was his job. He would go around and help out, you know, same sex couple. In other words, he would donate his sperm. But I mean, it's sometimes the natural way.

[Tom]

Oh, really?

[Christy]

Oh, the big, big chill style. And that's what caused the problem in his relationship. His fiance wouldn't hurt him to stop. Imagine that. Yeah, not an unreasonable.

[Tom]

Mr. Gordy said he's helped dozens of women conceived, but he also remains unlucky in love. Probably for that very reason.

[Christy]

No, probably because he calls it. What did he call himself? The CEO of sperm donated. Something Cool. If you're wearing a big I'm a sperm donor T shirt at the bars, the ladies aren't gonna go, hey, look, there's the guy with a female body inspector hat. I want to talk to that guy. I kind of have a sperm donor T shirt. You know what I mean? In a way.

[Tom]

That's right. You are a T shirt guy.

[Christy]

Oh, no. Lots more coming up next hour. Dustin Nickerson and Roy Wood Jr. But coming up next, Billy Gardell and our good friend Drew Powell. That's next. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom, if you went on a road trip and you didn't stop for a Big Mac or drop a crispy fry between the car seats or use your McDonald's bag as a place mat, then that wasn't a road trip. It was just a really long Drive. At participating McDonald's, you've got the Bob and Tom show. The best of the Bob and Tom Show. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Here is a segment with actors Billy Gardell and Drew Powell. We are joined this morning by, I think most people would say two of the biggest jerks out of Harvard. I mean, just. I don't understand why. Really, really difficult. Yeah. We're part of a trio, the Jerks. The Jerk Trio. Ladies and gentlemen, Billy Gardell, comedian and actor. Actor. Has joined us in the studio and talking to Billy and then an old friend of the show. He is actor. I almost said comedian. You're a very funny. He's actor. Drew Powell. And Drew is currently featured in a show that I'm actually watching called the Pit, which is not like the Pit and the Pendulum. It takes place in an emergency room. No, it isn't. Well, no, I didn't. That's the problem with the titles of some of this stuff. Unless you know what it's about. You don't know. I mean, the show, er. Oh, I get. It's about an emergency room. The pit. I. What is it, some kink fest? In any event, it's a great show. It's a great show and it takes place. Each episode of the show is one hour of real time. That's right. In an emergency room in Pittsburgh. It's incredible. I'm like four or five episodes in all I've seen is you are in the. In the waiting room bitching at everybody. And I. I have been told it gets worse. Yes, well, the. Yeah, it is an incredible show. It is awesome to be a part of. No, Wiley is the star. You might remember him from er. We were actually on another show on a show called Leverage in New Orleans. Great show. We had a lot of fun with that. He was acting in that in the morning and then writing for the Pit in the afternoon. And so that guy was doing double duty and he was telling me about it and he's like. I said, oh, man, this sounds pretty good. And he said, john Wells, who. Who did ER and the West Wing and Shameless and, you know, Scott Gemmell, who did the original er. I'm like, this sounds like this is going to be really good. And I said, you better get me in there. There you go. And I still had to audition, believe me. Now, what is it like? We have two actors in here and you guys have never met, but you immediately start comparing and all of a sudden, you know, certain guys, you know, how do I get on that? Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, I loved what you said, the last bit about how you. You and Lance would see each other, you know, every audition. Exactly. I have the same thing. For me, it was Eric Stonestreet who end and, oh, he's a great guy. You find your crew or whatever, it's your type, right? Yeah, there's just a room full of guys like. Exactly. Me and Eric were you guys, like five years down the road, but now today, in today's world, we were talking not too long ago, you audition. Just. You're in your kitchen with a. With a video camera. So you don't have that thing of seeing the same guy that looks kind of like you that can do the same thing, and I don't care for it. Do you like the phone audition? Because I believe you bring your energy into the room. Room. And I used to like that. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it's true, you've been great here today, but every time we get on the phone, it's just miserable stinks, right? Really? When you do an audition on the phone, it's right up there with, I'm eating olives, everybody. Hey, everybody, I'm eating olives. Okay, great. Yeah, no, I did one yesterday in my parents living room with my wife on the FaceTime. My wife's nothing, right? I need you to read this. That was the next question. So if your wife's doing it all of a sudden, does she become a director and go, wait, oh, that was a terrible thing. They're born. Let's try that again. We need some more hair and makeup over here. I've read sides. That's right. I know the terms. I was reading something. Comedian Greg Warren, he was auditioning. Love Greg. And he started yelling at me because I was really acting because, hey, you know you're not auditioning for this, right? You know what's funny, dude? Greg Warren. Warren was the original Molly. And I'll tell you how I got the audition for Mike and Molly. And I was working on my audition and I was in St. Louis and I was working a funny bone there and Greg was in town and I go, hey, man, can you come over and just read these sides with me and Greg, man? Dude, he treated it like wrestling practice. I'll be there at one o' clock. We're gonna go over these. Sally. I'm surprised he didn't come with a whistle. But he really, really, really, he helped me, man. We ran that thing till I knew it airtight. And I was so grateful because I was so prepared when I went out there. And then I guess about two years into Mike and Molly, they had me guest host the Late show for a week for Craig Ferguson. And I got to pick a few guests. And Greg was my first guest because I wanted him to come on and I wanted to say thank you. And also, you knew he wouldn't bring a date so there'd be more food. I can't be nice. Come on, we're hanging out. This is so much fun. We're hanging out with comedian and actor Billy Gardell and actor Dr. Powell.

[Tom]

I do have some news about the pit because season one just ended in the middle of April and HBO has already announced that season two will premiere in January of 2020.

[Christy]

Congrats, man. And by the way, Christy, you can't watch it.

[Tom]

I know, it's too bloody.

[Christy]

That's a nice deep breath before summer, right? Who wants to go to Hawaii? I have a question. Are you still going to be a patient? I don't know. Okay? I don't know. I don't know. It's. And they've. Not only have they Said that. They've actually said. What I read is that it's going to be 10 months in the future, moving on from last season, and it's going to be over the July 4th weekend because apparently they get a lot of action in the ER. July 4th. Listen, in Pittsburgh, July 4th, there's going to be some fireworks. I promise you. I promise you. I was actually. I told this story, not. I was having. I was at a fireworks event, and before the fireworks, I. It was like a buffet thing. And I sat down with a guy I didn't know that was an ER doc. He wasn't able to drink that night because his wife would later explain. Oh, yeah, he'll be sewing somebody's eye back in in about three hours. He's a dd, the designated doctor. Oh, man. Yeah, they'll get some. They'll get some. They'll get some action on July 4th. It's a great show. But now, two things. One, the beard looks good. Thank you. Thank you. A little more gray in it, thanks to that strike. And freaking Covid. Okay. It's been a rough. Because they say that the gray comes. Comes like six months later or a year later. I'm like, it's coming now. You are also working on the. The upgrade of. What is it? The reboot. Yeah, reboot. Sequel of Malcolm in the Middle. Oh, good. They did invite you back for that. Yeah. Excellent. And that's that. I just came from that. So I was in Vancouver, took the red eye so I could get here for the Pacers game. My beloved Pacers, which we won. And then it was. And you'll appreciate this, Billy. Like, I got my SAG card on that job. That was the job that I had the audition. I poked myself in the eye in the audition, literally. So I gotta tell the story real quick. So the. The line. I was Tough cadet auditioning for Tough Cadet Number two. And the line was, I'm looking down the hallway and I say, comet on the floor, ten hut. And this was at CBS Radford Studios. Right. Right down. I walked there from my little place where I was living. It's packed. The producers, the directors, the casting. It's in one of those tiny little rooms. Guys sitting on the edge of the couch. It's just packed. Nervous. I got my little army shirt on. This is gonna be. It's a big moment. And I say, coming on the floor, ten hut. And I. When I tell you, I hit eyeball. Like, I felt the gooshiness of my retina and I just yelled an expletive. At the top of my lungs, because there was no, like, trying to couch it. And so I'm. I'm down with my hand over my eye, and it's quiet for a minute, and then the laughter starts, and then it gets bigger, and then it gets bigger. And then a dude fell off the couch. They absolutely wet themselves laughing at me, probably. But I got the job. And what happens is you get Taft Hartley, and they say, well, we couldn't find anybody, so please let him in the union. And that's a big moment. I got Taft Hartley, too. On what show? Do you remember? I don't remember. It may have been King of Queens. That might have been the one, because that was my first. But I had a similar thing happen to me, but it was because it's like a weird thing happens while you get the job. I auditioned for Desperate Housewives one year, and I can see it. It was. It was all these muscular. Like, there was supposed to be an undercover detective, but he's supposed to be real handsome and rugged. Yeah. And I opened the door, you know, like the Michelin Man. And it's a room full of guys that look perfect. I'm like, you know what? I'm staying. Yeah. Yeah. And I was for. Somehow I got that part, and I ended up getting. I had a scene with Eva Longera, got the kisser to cover the bad guys. And it was great to just put all those muscle guys on him. Doesn't that feel good? It really did. It really did. I'm not usually a spiteful person, but, yeah, everybody looks like Clark Kent. I was reading this book about, let's just say, this very, very famous actor, and he was saying, no matter how good people are and how famous they are, actors are all the same. It'll always be. He was literally working with Lawrence Olivier, and he goes, I'm not sure I'm gonna get a gig after this. Yeah, the minute you rap. Absolutely. Well, it's over. Yeah. Dustin Hoffman said, the best part about being an actor is you're always running scared. And the worst part about being an actor is you're always running scared. It's the truth. So now, are you done with Malcolm in the Middle? Yeah, we finished. They're still going, but. So basically, it's 25 years on, and they're. They're. Everybody's back. I have to tell you, man, it was such an emotional experience. I was so surprised because we all came back back. I hadn't seen mostly people for 25 years. I just worked with Brian's daughter. Who's in the pit. She plays Mel King, the. You know, the one with the sister. And she was, she's, she's really. She's on the spectrum in the show. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. That's kind of what I'm implying. So it's, it's, it was, it was like everybody just kept hugging and crying and there's just. Because you don't get to do that in a show. No. And, you know, you don't get to come back 25 years later. In fact, Brian said it was me and there's two other cadets. We were in the military school and they said, you guys are the age I was when I was doing Malcolm in the Middle. Wow. It was like, whoa, this is full circle moment. And everybody picked up where they left off. The first thing, I walk in the set and I see Brian and Jane, Halen, Lois, like, making out in the corner. And everybody's trying not to be loud because we're all laughing so hard. It's. It's going to be great. Disney plus, did they bring Gary Anthony Williams back? Yeah, I just saw. He's a dear friend of mine. Oh, there you go. I'm so happy to hear that. I love that guy. Love that guy. Yeah, he's. He does. Who's. You do. Whose line as well with all those. He does, he does. Yeah. Yeah. And it's super talented. But we got him in Mike and Molly a couple times. Just a great guy. Our kids went to the same elementary school, so me and Gary. Yeah. During our unemployed phase, we were the guys picking our kids up. Nothing. Yeah, me either. All right, I'll see you at three. I've been there. Is there any. Would there ever be a Mike and Molly reboot? I don't know, man. I'd certainly be open to it. I think that's kind of a trend now, is to. Is most of the cast still. Yeah, we. We all have lunch about every month. Once a month we all get together and have. And we check in on each other's kids. And the gentleman who played. We're real close. I guess it would be like the father in law or whatever. What's his. What's his name, Mr. Man? Vince. Vince, yeah. The guy who talks like that. Yeah. He's not acting. That's. They found him in Buffalo. I just worked with him on Cooper's Bar. Cooper's. That's his thing. Right on. The greatest guy in the world. All you gotta do is ask him, Lou, what's bothering you today? I tell you, okay. Now, you know I'm not one to complain. Coming up in just a couple of minutes, another one of our good friends and regulars whenever he's around. Roy Wood, Jr. Coming up next. Close your eyes. Exhale. Feel your body relax. And let go of whatever you're carrying today.

[Tom]

Well, I'm letting go of the worry.

[Christy]

That I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class.

[Tom]

I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts.

[Christy]

Oh, my gosh, they're so fast. And breathe.

[Tom]

Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw.

[Christy]

The discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste.

[Tom]

Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order. 1-800-contacts.

[Christy]

She lives in the house right next to me I like to watch her from behind the tree she wears a miniskirt when she's cooking meals and vacuums the floor in stiletto heels she may be a mommy but she still looks hot she acts like a lady but I hope she's not I wanna tell her I should be her man I wanna take a ride in her minivan I'm in love he's in love with the MILF next door Give me half, half a chance and I bet I'll score the MILF and live next door she's the fantasy I've been searching for I'm in love he's in love with the MILF next door Every Saturday when the kids are gone she works in the yard with her bikini on I open the curtains and take a peek she smiles at me and my knees get weak she walks down the street and she's looking good She's a hit with the daddies in the neighborhood and down at the school all the teachers say she's got the hottest ass in the PTA I'm in love he's in love with the MILF now next door she's the MILF the MILF next door Give me half, half a chance and I bet I'll score She's the fantasy I've been searching for I'm in love he's in love with the MILF next door.

[Tom]

And this for my love is.

[Christy]

True I is for I'll be with you l is for Lots of luck F is for the fun we'll have I'm in love he's in love with the MILF next door Give me half, have a chance and I bet I all score with the MIL the MIL next door she's the fantasy I've been searching for I'm in love he's in love with the MILF next door. I'm in love. He's in love with the MILF next door. He's in love with the MILF next. He's. And a good morning. This is the best of the Bob and Tom Show. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios. Here's a segment with one of our good friends and Regulars, Roy Wood Jr. Hello, Tom. Hello, Chick McGee. Introduce our special guest, will you? Of course, I'm happy to. I'm just doing a little homework over here. We have a comedian, Roy Wood Jr. Joining us. Veteran stand up comedian, now a television guy and television guy. He's got a bunch of different hats that he wears on TV and he's a, he's a property. I think he's, he's a sought after property. That's a nice. Somebody wants to be in the Roy Wood Jr business. Except it's not Roy, which is weird. Well, I would, I would imagine that that only helps. The more distant he acts, the more they want him, man. We're going to talk to Roy in a matter of moments. But I was doing some homework during the break on. Well, I was talking. I just, I'm fascinated by the, these beautiful ships that are all over the world. But the United States, of course, has these incredible aircraft carriers, these instruments of death. Yes. Yeah, I'm glad we're there out there and thank you, warship.

[Tom]

They protect you.

[Christy]

But knowing that it's there keeps the bad guys from going away. I think, I think we're going to screw around with this country. Oh, wait a minute. You mean they've got planes on there that can annihilate us? Am I being a pinko pansy? Yeah, I'm sorry. But yeah, they're going to be these two, two aircraft carriers named. And they tend to name them after recent presidents. As a matter of fact, they have to have really cool nicknames because you, you know the way they are for. They have great nicknames for everybody. So it's got to be like the Billy or you know, the G Dub or something like that. It could be, could be. In any event, there is the USS Bill Clinton and there's also going to be the George W. Bush. There already is an H.W. bush. Why isn't there Herbert Hoover or the Coolidge? There probably has, but I googled this. This is really interesting. The first ship named Clinton was the USS Clinton, a Haskell class attack transport in the United States Navy in 1945. Haskell class. Oh, that sure is a beautiful airship. Mrs. Cleaver, little Eddie Haskell. It sure is a wonderful. But the. The original Clinton in the United States Navy. This is true. Was used as a target in 1984 for target practice, and they sank it. Which means that, by the way, there was no one on board. So technically, Monica Lewinsky is still the only one to go down on a Clinton, which I think is very appropriate. That's a long way to go. Well, we have Christy Lee at the SILAC Insurance news desk. And once again, Roy's new special is called Lonely Flowers. And, Roy, you're talking about your family, I gather. Got me obsessed with this. Now, Andrew Johnson has no Navy vessel named after him, which I think is fair, because if you're on the money, you don't get a ship. Or am I thinking about Andrew Jackson? I don't know. Listen, I worked at the Daily show eight years. They gotta know these things. Obama has nothing either. So, like, it's. It's weird. George Washington had eight ships. Ships. Wow. Eight. Yeah. To be fair, he was the first president. There was, like, no other guy to name stuff after you. Well, we got another ship. Well, are most of them Washington? Are most of them made of wood, like his teeth? 8. And Obama has none. Yeah, I'm not. Give him a submarine or something. They're not gonna give him an aircraft here. But does he swim? I don't. A fair joke. Hang on a second. It. Wait a minute. Hang on. Okay, I want to. You know, I can answer that. You can answer. If President Obama sw. I can. He has to be able to. Oh, because he graduated from. Because the college he went to. You have to be able to swim to graduate. I know, because I went there. Oh. Oh, that's a Columbia. Did you. I didn't. I missed that. All right. Yeah. It's a weird thing, but at the college I went to. I'm totally serious. You had to be able to swim to graduate. Let me ask you. Wow. When you were at Columbia and before you had a great. And you didn't have your swimming certificate or whatever you want to call it, did you think of a way to fake it so you could graduate? No, I know how to swim. Well, I'm just asking. It seems like something that you try to skirt the rules on to be able to do it, that you report to the gym, and they. Did you have a lot of classmates who were like, I've never done this. Absolutely, I did. And they were, like, nervous about it. You see, you're in New York City. Sure. But a lot of New Yorkers go to Columbia. It wasn't most. Mostly transplant. I know there are people from all over the place, but my one friend lived next door to me senior year. He did not know how to swim. He was. He was. He was from Queens and so he had to take swimming lessons.

[Tom]

Did they offer lessons?

[Christy]

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Get your ass in that water. Figure it out. It's like it's the same thing. There are a lot. There are a lot of. A lot of people that grow up in New York, New York City especially. Don't know how to drive. Oh, sure. Yeah. No license. Yeah. My brother. Was there a pool on campus? Yeah. Was there a swim team? That's a good. I don't. I don't think so. Columbia is not big on competitions on the field of athletics, are they? We happen to win the defensing championship. We didn't mean to. And we were favored by 10 points. Super bowl off. As for there not being a ship named after Obama, I wonder if there's a certain waiting period because they just did the George W. They just did George W. And they just did Clinton. Right. And they're going in order. What about Carter? What about Ford? What about. There's no Nixon. It's got to be a Nixon. The Ford is the class of. It's. That's. The entire class of aircraft carriers were called the Gerald R. Ford. Yeah. Seriously. I'm not. Oh. Oh. That's what I came from. I thought it came from like Henry Ford or something. Yeah. I thought Ford made him. Made him like they. They make. I don't know much. I'm just. This is all I know is what I'm reading in this. An escort on one line and a plane on the other line. And I don't know if. I don't know if there is a Nixon.

[Tom]

I could look this all up.

[Christy]

I am not a doc, so. My son is obsessed with aviation. Yeah. I didn't know this. Henry Ford tried to make airplanes for a while. There were Ford airplanes. That sounds a quick minute. Yeah. And then the depression happened and he had to fall back and just focus on cars again because the market had gotten weird. And then that's how Bowen and McDonnell Douglas like gotten again. How old's your son now? He's eight now. Man. We went. We went to space camp down in Huntsville. Shout out to Space Camp. Camp. Awesome. Where you. You spend the night and you do the whole astronaut training and stuff. And then the more I thought about it after I paid money and then you sleep in the actual. Like they have like barracks or whatever. And it's great for an eight year old, I bet. I'm 46. My spine is. There are better mattresses in jail. And that's not a joke because I've been. Well, you and Pat have something in common. What do you think? Uncomfortable. I'd like to see that Venn diagram of people who've been to space camp and jail. It's a three inch mattress with that weird. No urine can get through. What's the. What's the Billy Mays commercial where the guy's floating on a screen door? Flex seal. Flex seal. So Flex seal. It's a mattress coated in Flex Seal. And then you just wake up every day and for like 14 hours you walk around this beautiful campus and they teach you everything there is to know about space travel and blah, blah, blah. And then at the end of it, we're riding back to Birmingham to my mama's house, and I'm going, there's no space shuttle. Like, where are you? Like what? Like the. The waiting list for astronaut to do it. Like, astronaut is a job you use, you train. And then they go, you are an astronaut. Great. When do I get to do it? We do not know. Maybe never. Seriously. Right. Or. Or you are an astronaut and then you get to go up there and then you're stuck. Like those two that are up there. There's not enough conversation about the fact right now that there's two people stuck in space and they don't have an aircraft capable enough to go and get them.

[Tom]

Yep.

[Christy]

And we act like it's cool because, oh, they're on a space station. There's other people up there. They have. Just cause I have friends does mean that I'm not stranded. She. She did a spacewalk a couple days ago. Get out of the ca. Cap. Yeah.

[Tom]

Some fresh air.

[Christy]

Yeah. If I don't leave this capsule, I'm going to kill you. Okay. I'm going to go have a smoke.

[Tom]

Gerald Ford, by the way, does have an aircraft carrier.

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Christy]

Let's see. Oh, it's the USS Clumsy. Right?

[Tom]

Oh, thank you very much.

[Christy]

This is the latest. Here we go. The latest line of US carriers named after Gerald R. Ford. It was incredible athletes. There's a John F. Kennedy.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Christy]

Aircraft carrier. Anyway, yeah, they plug that leak in the John F. Kennedy and they have a hole in the house. We have any aircraft, thank you very much.

[Tom]

Named after women, huh?

[Christy]

But ironically, the John F. Kennedy is referred to as a her. Isn't that interesting? Yeah, they're all referred to as they. And I'm not kidding, they. In this press release, they say she will be done by. Yeah. Yeah. That's all. I mean, that's been. That's just. I have. I have a friend that's a maritime lawyer, and he. He'll be going, yeah, I've got a fly to so and so. And. And then, you know, the she went down, blah, blah, blah. And it's. It's always the she. Ladies and gentlemen. What Tom just said was, I have a friend who's a maritime lawyer. I do. Henry Billingsley is a maritime. Yeah, Bill Easley and I have a feud. And I didn't even know it started, but, by gosh, I'm gonna finish it. Okay, fine. Oh, really? Yeah. He looked at me and he talked to me for 10 seconds. He goes, well, I would never pick you for a jury. My ass, Billingsley. How about that? Wait a second. Let's be realistic. If you're a lawyer, would you pick you for a jury? God, no. No, I don't think. I take it seriously. We're ignoring our guests. Have you noticed that we're hanging out with comedian Roy Wood Jr. And I have not seen your special. It's called Lonely Flowers on Hulu. It just debuted, so you gotta. You gotta check it out this weekend. And I don't know. I haven't seen it, so I don't know much about it. But I did hear you talking briefly, briefly in another interview recently, and you. You picked up a topic that we've been talking about a lot, which is. I mentioned this earlier. For example, I had an aunt that was kind of lonely, and she would go out shopping and she'd go, well, I've got to go buy, you know, a new lamp. And she'd be gone all day, so she could go to 10 different stores so she could talk to human beings. Yeah, and I heard you. I just heard you briefly mention the. The. What do they call it? The self. Check out. Not a fan. Not a fan. Not a fan. We really underestimated how much small talk plays a role in keeping crazy people calm. You are just. You're so right about that. I. Look, I'm just saying, man, like the retail. When retail start. The degradation of retail in this country was the. The beginning of disconnect. Connection in our society. The idea of just. Hey, how you doing? How's it going? Your. Your waitress has twice the tables and has no time. I. I miss. Just a regular Southern way. Well, how you doing? Oh, the catfish. Well, let me tell you about the catfish. It's like that's gone. And now the only time you see a employee is when you do self checkout wrong. You want an employee to appease here, make a mistake and then the self checkout machine shoots a flare up to let everybody know you're stupid. And then the beacon light goes off. You don't know, please step aside, wait for an associate. You. Then the employee appears out of nowhere and then they're rude to you because you don't know how to do their job. Exactly. You scanned it wrong. That's the QR code. That ain't the barcode. Get out the way. It's not my fault, man. I don't, I don't like that. I, I really, I like, I joke about it, but I really do feel like having that friend. When you were in the store and this is my section. Let me know if you want to try on anything. And that's. It's gone. It is a ghost town. And if you are somebody who is disconnected and a lot of people in this country live alone, they ain't got no nobody. And that cashier might have been the one person outlook. I'm not. I'm the only. Am I the only person that felt like I liked it when the cashier would comment on my groceries as they came down the belt?

[Tom]

Oh, look what you're having for.

[Christy]

Oh, I like this flavor. Maybe they should program. Could they program the machines to do that? It's coming. I'm sure when you have your AI cashier bot that's going to be there in another two, three years. Years. It'll probably remind you of what. Hey, you probably are out of ketchup. You bought it six weeks ago.

[Tom]

Amazon does that.

[Christy]

Someone's having a party tonight. I had a cashier one time. I was, it was, I was trying a new health kick and so she scanned the celery and she scanned the salad mix and she scanned the radishes and she looked at me, she goes trying something different. Oh, geez. And she didn't know me. I'd never seen her. Good old fashioned fashion, folksy conversation. That's fantastic. Yeah. I throw an oatmeal cream pie on the bill, a couple boxes of Little Debbies. You know, you're, you're joking, but you're. There is a profound statement in there, which is I can just remember my aunt. She'd be gone all day and she'd go to 10 different places and come back with nothing. And it was all about just talking to people. There are very few places where you still get that? My son is. We talked about the planes. So we go get the die cast model planes, plains and we go to hobby shops. And the people who work in hobby shops have not left that building since 1983. They live there. And the, the attention to detail and conversation about the craft and what you're doing like that I just love, like that I still love and I still like buying condoms from gas stations. Oh, okay. Because there's no self checkout at a gas station. Like when you get and like condoms you have to ask for them. Most of the time they're back there like yeah, give me those.

[Tom]

Yeah, we have a story about that.

[Christy]

And then the guy brings them over. Oh yeah, man. Like every now and then when you buy condoms at a gas station, the cashier, especially if it's a male cashier, will just give you kind of a like a thumbs up. Like good luck soldier. That makes you feel good. We're talking with Roy Wood Jr. Roy Wood Jr. Is a longtime friend of the show show and his newest special is called oh, just get the condoms. Get the Vicks Vapor Rub. More of the best of the Bob and Tom show is on the way. Comedian Dustin Nickerson will be up next. Stand by, it's the Bob and Tom Show. Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited premium Wireless Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent.

[Tom]

To $15 per month required.

[Christy]

New customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks busy. Taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com Wanna take the expressway to Iowa Then I'm gonna ride the road from Iowa to Idaho Wish they built a highway from Idaho to I Hawaii oh, I know that you can fly But I'd rather dry aviation Ohio, Iowa the Hawaii highway Pleasant Ohio, Iowa it's the Ohio Idaho Hawaii highway I'm gonna buy me some pineapples when I'm in Hawaii and a pound of pineapple when I pass through Idaho Then I'll get an apple pie when I am in Iowa and a pallet of thermometers at the Costco in Ohio have some pineapple pie Apple apples, apple pie the pallet of thermometers on the Ohio, Iowa highway that's the Ohio, Iowa Hawaii highway Everybody. It's the Ohio, Iowa When I go to the dance and he puts my gums to sleep I can't feel my tongue and teeth and my lips feel like a piece of meat when he's firing up his drill bit and I'm drowning in my own spit I like to sing along with the hits like the Ohio, Iowa way It's the Ohio that's the end of the song. Glad you're back. This is the Bob and Tom Show. The best of the Bob and Tom Show. And this is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Here's a segment with comedic comedian Dustin Nickerson. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Top Show. We're all here in our places. Josh Arnold. Ace Cosby. Christy Lee. This has been Chick McGee speaking. Here's Tom to introduce our special guest. Would you love saying that? What? This has been Chick McGee speaking. This has been Chicken McGee speaking. Yes. I don't think I'd ever say it. Seriously. I hope. I hope I wouldn't. I hope I wouldn't work for somewhere that would make me do that, making a regular radio station. I'd lose my mind. In the studio, where we're going to be talking with comedian Dustin Nickerson. Hey, Dustin. Good to see you, sir. Hey, thanks for having me. It's an honor. Appreciate this. Now, Dustin, right off the bat, I gotta find out, are you a married guy, single guy? I'm married. I'm married with three children. Whoa. Yeah. Three old children. I have teenagers and a young. Yeah, three old children. How young is the youngest? Ten. Okay. Yeah. It's been pretty vague for eight years or so. They don't. They just. The birthdays just keep happening. It's crazy. You kind of lose interest, don't you? I do hate that. I know, like, when. Like. Like they're like, when's your daughter's birthday? I'm like, the youngest. I know that one. The. I don't. The middle. I don't know. But I can tell you when pitchers and catchers report. Just. Just a couple weeks. Yeah. Yeah, Exactly. Yeah. Well, I'm a Seattle Mariners fan. I'm very excited. What an exciting season we have ahead of us, so. Oh, yeah, I just had a birthday. One of my girls.

[Tom]

Yeah, you're. You didn't.

[Christy]

But two days ago. Yeah. But I can remember hers easily because it's my quarter birthday. Oh, okay. Wow. You. You keep track of quarter. I'm sure his daughters do. She's January 22nd and then I'm April 22nd. So that's. But then the rest of them, I got to really dig deep to remember them. Yeah, that is, that's, that's a lot of, a lot of self centeredness there. I love that. That's in a good way. I mean, that it said. She's like, I can't remember your birthday, but if you, if it's a quarter of mine. Yes. Then I'll remember yours. I love it. That's the same with me. I remember my middle kid because it's near mine. Because, you know, at the end of the day, it's about me. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Where's. Where are your comedy club dates, honey? Yeah, exactly. It's also important to know your own birthday in case you have to go into the hospital. I just had a little bit of surgery on Monday and I had to give my birthday about 50 times. Yeah. Yep. It's a little bit of. I just, I just did 40 this year before I hit 4. 40. And we did a birthday party and this is the last one that I get for a while, I think, because, like, birthdays are less significant. I've realized as you get older, like every. When you're young, you get. With our kids, we give them every year, 1, 2, 3, 4, and then 20s. You get like every five years, like 21. Cool. 25, you get a full brain. Congrats. 30, 35, 4, nobody cares till 50, 60, 70. And then I realized at 70, you get it every year again. Right. 71, like, oh, you're still alive. That's great. They're fad very quickly. They're fading very quick. We're speaking with comedian Dustin Nickerson. You're touring around. You're friends with our good friend comedian Greg Warren. Greg Warren, Yeah. He's a regular here. The, the Greg is. Greg and I met touring with Bergazi and he's, uh. Yeah, Nate's great. Or Nate's great. I don't know if you guys have heard of him. He's got a bright future. Keep an eye on that guy. Coming to a. An arena near you. Yeah. Nate first came in here, he was playing one of the small clubs and I just remember it was fascinating that his father is a magician.

[Tom]

Yes. His father's on tour right now, as a matter of fact.

[Christy]

I love it.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Christy]

I told, I was talking to Nate recently. I was like, I don't know where they're going to put you anymore. The venues are like, at a certain point, are we just going to put you in a Field. Like a Woodstock. Yeah, Like a Gettysburg Address. We don't actually build structures that can hold this amount of people. So just go over there and orate for a while. So. Yeah. But Greg's a friend and I'll see him in a couple weeks when I'm in St. Louis there. He's great. Very funny guy. And, you know, we don't really care for him. We just. I love to tell him that I, I, he has that wrestling isn't as impressive as he thinks it is. And, and it is a very impressive sport. But it irritates him and I enjoy that. Yeah. Good. Good. I've told him before that even wrestling at the college level is fake. Yeah. And he really gets your. And you're not saying it's not athletic. No. They have to know what they're doing so they don't get hurt. I virtually never fail to remind him that he has a cauliflower ear. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, how can you miss it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very. He wears the headphones. I ask him to take them off. Yeah. Well, it looks like he's wearing headphones, but he's not wearing it. Just hideous. It is upsetting. They wear it so proud. I have a question for you. Yeah. Is Dustin Nickerson your actual real name? Yes. Yeah, it is. But were your parents fans of Dustin Hoffman? So, yeah, that is. My mom wanted to name me Sterling and my dad cared about my future. My dad didn't want to create a boy named sue type situation, if you get that Johnny Cash reference. But it's. He pushed for Dustin and then my mom left when I was five, so thank goodness my dad really, you know, put his foot down on the name. So this happened to be a fun story. Glad I brought it up. Yeah. Because that's. It just. It's kind of an unusual name. But it did. I'd never heard it until, I guess, the movie the Graduate and. Oh, really? Dustin wasn't that widespread before Dustin Hoffman. It still isn't. I can't see anybody in Tom's crowd when he was a teenager being named Dustin or Dusty. I've grown up with Dustin's my whole life. I guess that's why I think it was one of those things Dustin Hoffman made famous.

[Tom]

I grew up with one too, so.

[Christy]

But I think Sterling, I mean, Sterling Hayden is the only nurse.

[Tom]

My nurse. My niece has a son named Sterling.

[Christy]

That's great. I think it's a cool name. My. When I, when naming children, which I've done many, many times. I Use the Supreme Court justice rule. Okay. You know what I'm saying? You want, you want, you want a, A name that's going to sound like it could be. Although that's. Oh, I see what you. Rapidly changing. But a Sterling Nickerson. That sounds absolutely like a Supreme Court justice. Yeah, that does have a bit of vibrance to it. And I'll change if it'll help sell these late shows. I'll do whatever it takes. Now, do you mind if I ask the names of your children? No, not at all. My, my children's names are Joel, Gloria and Claire. We wanted names that were unique, but not too unique. We weren't. And we're like weird out like the like era of parents. Like, my kid's name is Mist, you know, like, we wanted like something fairly in the normal range but like stood out a little bit. Not unlike a Dustin where you're like, I've seen it. I know how to pronounce it, you know, but at least there's. Hopefully there aren't. My wife's a Melissa and so that's. There are a million Melissa.

[Tom]

So Gloria is an interesting.

[Christy]

Those are great names. Gloria. Thank you. Appreciate that. Gloria was. Gloria was more unique when we lived in Seattle. And then we live 15 minutes from the Mexican border. More glorious down there. There's a lot more glorious.

[Tom]

Yeah, that's interesting.

[Christy]

And. And neck tech. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Well, let's say Gloria, actually. Yeah. We're coming back with more of the Bob and Tom Show. We're gonna talk about milkshakes and pedicures coming up next hour. But next segment, we're going to learn about Christie's bird feeder. You want to stick around for that? This is the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom from the award winning morning show on America's favorite radio station, the Ticket, the Musers, the podcast. So right now we're podc. No, not yet. He just put us into it. No, I was accidentally podcasting. We were for a second, but we're not now. Well, we want to. We want to start intentionally podcast. That was accidental. That was a false start. 3, 3, 2, 1. Every Wednesday, Junior Miller, George Dunham and Gordon Keith drop a new episode of the Musers the podcast. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. This is the best of the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back. Glad you're here. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Christy's got a problem with her bird feeder. Let's get the latest. Crispy is rapidly becoming our bird expert.

[Tom]

Oh, I got a new Bird feeder.

[Christy]

Yesterday I heard, buddy, is this. Someone stole your bird feeder?

[Tom]

The raccoon stole my bird feeder.

[Christy]

You know, mission accomplished. It's actually us. We come over every night and mess.

[Tom]

Well, now we have one with a camera in it. It's called the bird Buddy.

[Christy]

And I'm telling you. Have. Have you seen these cameras?

[Tom]

I received it as a gift yesterday.

[Christy]

Because obviously there are those eagles that have been getting.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Christy]

Publicity. You can have one at your house with a bird feeder that take unbelievable pictures of birds, like close ups. And it's a. It's amazing.

[Tom]

And it'll recognize the same bird and you can name it and it'll alert you on the phone. It'll go, tom, the cardinal is back and you can turn on your care.

[Christy]

I'm hoping to be pope someday, but I've been thinking about my papacy. You know, if you're sitting at home naming birds, waiting for you. Really? Larry? The blue jay? Yeah. You need to get out of the house. And that's coming from someone who likes to be at his house. Okay.

[Tom]

Yeah, I don't think I'll get that crazy.

[Christy]

Yes, you will. You're already there. Why wouldn't you? I hope so. You have it. I can't wait. Yeah. We've been telling you. Have you. Have you seen the movie with Steve? Is it Steve who I'm trying to. Steve Martin. Steve Martin.

[Tom]

No. Owen Wilson you're talking about.

[Christy]

Yeah, that's it. Owen Wilson, Jack Black, Steve Martin. And it's called. Is it called the Good Year? The big. The Big Year. Sorry. A Big Year is an actual thing in burger Bird watching.

[Tom]

Really?

[Christy]

I saw it serve years ago. It's really good. It's one of you might call it a small movie. It's not like huge independent. It's very good. Jack Black in the movie going, oh, it's a big gear. Yeah. Not as much. No. No. He's pretty gentle. No kidding. Yeah, his dad is Brian Dennehy. Oh, Jack can be really good. Do you see the movie where he plays the undertaker? I think. Yeah.

[Tom]

Very good, Bernie. Yeah.

[Christy]

Yeah, that's great. And in any event, let's move forward here.

[Tom]

Claim.

[Christy]

Yeah, this. We get letters on every topic here at the Bob and Tom program. And here's one I casually said the other day that I really wanted to visit Vietnam. Is this our letter segment? Yeah. Yes. All right. Didn't I just say that? No, you just started. Here's a letter that's not introducing a segment that's. That's slapped together at best. That's that's just plain sloppy.

[Tom]

Sloppy radio, sloppy broadcasting.

[Christy]

It's careless. Some might even say irresponsible. Yes. What about kids out there wanting to have their own radio show? Ladies and gentlemen, not in honor of the great Sly Stone. A little bit of everyday people. Boy, music just doesn't get better. It's even mixed well. It sounds great. The sentiment is as. As wonderful as anything. And. And then it switches to. To this. I can't do it. Yeah, ladies, you would try that at home. Yeah. He was a genius of Sly Stone. Sadly, if you have not heard, Mr. Stone has passed away at the age of 82. Mr. Stewart. That's his real name? Yes.

[Tom]

He had a child with B.B. king's daughter. I had no idea.

[Christy]

He flourished in the late 60s, early 70s. Yeah. Phoebe King is the. Oh, really? Baby And Phoebe. Well, baby's daughter Phoebe. Yeah. Is it possible for me to see BB's BB? I don't know, but have you seen pictures of Phoebe King? I have. Not Bibi's. Bibi's daughter Phoebe. What's your handle on cb? Phoebe? Cb? Oh, she released a cd. Phoebe and the bb. All right, stop it. I just changed the channel and I live here. This is giving the heebie jeebies. Oh, are we doing our letter segment? Dear Show. I haven't. I was gonna start with. Oh, okay, go ahead. Okay, well, I'll read mine after you read yours. You have a letter I had mentioned. There's a couple places I want to visit. Portugal is one of them.

[Tom]

Yeah, me too.

[Christy]

Go now and avoid the rush. And hey, take the month off. Yeah, that's what you say to us. Go fishing. I hope you're ready to play your song. In a second. Which one? Pick up your AI When I ask. I don't want you to act like we'd never talk. Talked about it. I don't want to. We didn't talk about it.

[Tom]

But we did.

[Christy]

We just talked about it. I thought he meant before. You gotta stop medicating. I love medication. The this is from a guy who is currently living in Saigon. What does he have to say about it? He loves it. There he goes. Please come visit. Most Americans think of Vietnam just as a war, not a country. The truth is, Vietnam's a great place, a rich history beyond the war. A very modern country now with an expanding economy and a bright future. The local people are very happy to have American tourists. So please, come visit. You guys could do the show. You'd start in the late afternoon.

[Tom]

Oh, that sounds good.

[Christy]

Cuz PS It's a long plane ride. Yeah, it's got. It is. And he sent a video made from his apartment. We can see the. The Saigon skyline. We'll have to get on this and get this posted. Wow. But yeah, thanks for the letter. We really appreciate it. From wherever you are now, our official beginning of the letter segment will begin now. Hello, show. Yeah, people are picking up on this. I saw a blimp over the weekend. Yeah, that's it. Okay. Does it say that's from Alan? Where is he? He says it's Al. Doesn't say because. Good writer. The good. The goodyear blimp is doing a whole bunch of ceremonial trips because it's the 1 100th anniversary.

[Tom]

Correct.

[Christy]

I can't think of a. Next to waiting for Larry the blue jay to stop by and my bird feeder talked to me. I can't think of a odder tub topic. Let's say, where's the blimp today? Let's say you're in a car with somebody else, which I know was rare for you because you like to be by yourself. If you're in the car with somebody else, you're driving down the street, you look up and see the blimp. Do you see anything? No. You don't go, oh, cool, there's a blimp. No. At the very least, when you go, oh, there's a. The blimp.

[Tom]

Oh, I point it out.

[Christy]

I think, oh, there's a blimp. I. I don't go, this is exciting. Right. There's the blimp. I don't do that like you would. I do because. Because you're insane. Yes. Yes. The love of life. That's what you have. This morning I drove in and went, oh, my God, look at the moon. That was incredible. I love it when there's. But it's not full. It's not full tonight. Tonight.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Christy]

Is it waxing now? If I had seen. If I had seen the blimp pass before the moon.

[Tom]

Oh, that would be.

[Christy]

I would have bought a lottery ticket because, as you know, that's good luck. 99. I have a moon indicator on my phone.

[Tom]

Yeah, very nice.

[Christy]

Why don't you go outside and take a picture, 99? I can do, boss. Leave your fob. Okay, here's. It says, dear philistines and Tom. Oh, whoa, whoa. What do you. Tom, we talked about things you should know by the age of 18, things you should be able to do, knowledge you should have. They included changing a tire and stuff like that. Well, this man, Dave from Appleton says my 20 year old daughter texted me that her car was out of blinker fluid. Her turn signal. Her turn signal rather was burned out.

[Tom]

Oh, I love it.

[Christy]

And doesn't it. When that happens it just stays on solid. Right. Isn't that. Isn't that. Oh, it will. Okay. The older cars. Depends what you're doing. So hopefully. Hey, if you're. If you're 20 and you've never had to deal with it. But I think the notion of this is. It sounds like something. God, absolutely. The notion of this article was. Chick, you weren't here for this. There are. It started with this woman named Catherine Johnson Martinco or Martine Co. I don't know how she pronounces her name. I think it was something like 12 skills. Everyone should know. And then she got this huge response. Response. But highlights would include driving a car and a boat, including a manual transmission. Right there. You've eliminated a lot of people. I like this one. Dancing decently enough to be able to participate at a wedding. I'm probably not going to be there. A lot of these were straight out of how to Win Friends and Influence People. Like they were ancient.

[Tom]

Yeah, they were.

[Christy]

How to darn a sock. Yeah.

[Tom]

Who needs to darn a sock?

[Christy]

How to write a thank you. That was absolutely on there.

[Tom]

Yeah. I call Amazon and order new socks.

[Christy]

No one. No one's that nice that you have new sock money.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Christy]

Oh, wow. Natural fibers too. I bet. Ordering from a menu with confidence, tipping appropriately. You don't do that. You never order from the menu. Occasionally I do. I often just ask. You burdened a server with your conversation. I also. We learned yesterday. Hey, we're going to be your favorite table. What do you recommend? What is that? To tattoo St. Vomit. Vomit. I always get my food first and it's the best at the table. Anybody ever tell you, bam, you look like Jack Ela. You know, with the lazy eye. I try. I try. When I do. When I do say that to people, I try to use dated references so they don't know. This is an absolutely true story. I never will stop telling it. We were at lunch. The server, a woman comes over and Tom announces to the table. Seventeen of us at least. Excuse me. I. He probably said something like sweetie or something because that's how he talks to women. Has anyone ever told you you look like NASCAR driver Jimmy Spencer? Which was not a compliment, but the resemblance was unbelievable. I'm not arguing the point. It was. The likeness was uncanny. I mean she could have been. But if she'd said that's my twin brother. I would have said, obviously, I swear. The next week, she. She had quit, and no one's seen her since. Actually, there was a very sad. He was with me at lunch. 1. He was with me at lunch with me at lunch one time and said to the waitress, do you know you have very unusual looks? I know he meant exotic. Yeah. Yep, I've heard him do it. Yeah, he's embarrassing. Coming up next, Christy is pissed, and not about her bird feeder. You'll get the details coming up next. This is the Bob and Tom Show, Little Diddy, about Josh and Chick McGee, two funny guys, have a few drinks and watch TV. Josh and Chick, big radio stars. Catch them every morning. Turn them on in your car. Oh, yeah. Sucking on hot dog mustard on about it. That's right. You got the movement movie tickets. Josh says he's got it. She can say, hey, Josh, what if we ever have a fight? Josh says, that'll be an awkward morning. All right. Oh, yeah. Their bromance lives on long after the thrill of Bob and time are gone. Well, I don't know about that. Oh, yeah, their bromance lives on. Chick drinks on the porch while Josh mows his new lawn. All right, rock on. Ow. More of the Bob and Tom Show. Now, this is Christopher here in the Bob and Tom studios. Boy, Christy is pissed about something. Let's get the details. I've got a technical question for you ladies. Christy Lee, in a matter of moments. This is a topic you have brought up before. Okay, I need a little. I need. Need a little bit of clarity on it. Yes. But I want to wait for Ms. Hooker to get here, and she is doing something that she always does for us, which is make delicious food. Food. And she has created, apparently, some dip in honor of the Super Bowl. We get. We get to try, so. I certainly am looking forward to that. Tom, I just learned something. A disparity between men and women in a way that I was told yesterday. Oh. Brain size. And I wanted to. Yes. My guys have. Guys have to be way small. Yeah. Christy, did you know that if you and I went to go get a pedicure today, they would charge me a little more than you.

[Tom]

I did not.

[Christy]

I was told that they charge more for men.

[Tom]

Why?

[Christy]

Because they have more work to do. Yes. The assumption is that it's more. Because we don't get them done as often.

[Tom]

Ah, it's.

[Christy]

Yeah, they're probably a little more. They're probably more unpleasant.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Christy]

Really?

[Tom]

I can see that.

[Christy]

Oh, it's almost hazard Pay now. Let me ask you this. I. This is. Is a haircut, obviously, for women. It's way more expensive. And every day I'll say to Kelly, oh, you got a haircut today. And she looks at me like, I. No, that. That. The word haircut is not used. It's. You get. My mom. My mom would always say, I got my hair done. But they do. They do more than just I say.

[Tom]

I got my haircut.

[Christy]

You do? Okay. I think Beyonce queen bee says, I got my hair. Did I believe. Oh, yeah.

[Tom]

Well, she got a blowout. What do you. I mean, what does she.

[Christy]

Yeah, that's. But, I mean, there's lots of different things that a lady. The ladies do. But, I mean, there's not the disparity in price. Oh. Is not complaining a lot, because women obviously have to spend a ton more money on stuff like that than guys do. But maybe it's like back in the day when a woman went to go buy a car. They can, you know, take advantage of them.

[Tom]

If we're going to talk about this subject that's interesting, though, there are some companies that, to this day, will not come out and give you an estimate if your husband isn't home. And I would like to say this. I would. That is bull, Christy.

[Christy]

That's insane.

[Tom]

And it. I've had this happen three times in the last two weeks.

[Christy]

Why is it. Was it because they don't want to have to explain it to you? Three times. Oh, to.

[Tom]

It's the most sexist, antiquated joke that is.

[Christy]

I can't.

[Tom]

I can't believe they do it, Christy.

[Christy]

I can't believe that. I would almost guarantee that's not company policy. It is.

[Tom]

I've asked and I have said to the. I said to the lady the other day, I go. I am beyond pissed right now because I can make decisions on my own.

[Christy]

And did she go, this is why we want to talk to the men. Yes. Women just go. Their tempers. Yeah. Boy. They're always just so.

[Tom]

No, it's. I am not. I could say names right now.

[Christy]

What if you're single woman.

[Tom]

If you're a. Well, they ask you that.

[Christy]

You're not. You're not allowed to get the service done.

[Tom]

Who's. Who's on the deed to your home? That's what she asked me.

[Christy]

Well, that might. They may need to know that. Why jump First national bank business. Women really shouldn't be owning homes.

[Tom]

Oh, my God, Josh.

[Christy]

Okay, now we're in trouble not putting your names on things.

[Tom]

Oh, I was so Mad. Still mad.

[Christy]

Okay, now we had an interesting topic I want to return to in just a few minutes. What happened to our fun show? Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. What happened? We were talking about the, the AVN Awards. This is the adult video news. So this is, this is the, the Organized Pornography Awards. Adult cinema, if you will. Sure, sure, sure. And do they still call it adult. It's adult video, I guess because it's digital and branding. Yeah. They're not going to change. Do they do. I'm, I'm, I've never watched them or whatever. Do they do like classic, like, do they go, you know, do they have like the Thalberg Award, like for the, the finest career time achievement? They do, yes. Yeah. I wonder who won this year, but they do. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. There's a hall of fame. There's a porno hall of fame. I don't know if there's a brick and mortar place that you can go, but there is a, an Avian hall of fame name. Yeah. Oh, wow. Gotta have Vanessa Del Rio in there. She's probably, she was probably a first ballot. I bet it's a lot more expensive to go if you want to go in the back door at the, There are hundreds of people in the AVN hall of Fame. Nina Hartley in there. She must be. Well, let's see. I'm sure it is. Nina Hartley actually does good work for couples. Nina Hartley is in. Wow. So we'll have to wait for Ms. Hooker before we can. Holy heck, there are. You have a song, Pat, you'll give me the look. Oh, no. I was Josh's porn. Not, not addiction, but I used to be your love for it. Yeah, in the past. So you get for the most blood. But, but, and I was asking you if, if. Let me. I guess this might be the proper word. Is the, the erotic cinema of that era a better trigger for you than contemporary erotica, if you will? I will always have an affinity for the stars, the porn stars that I watched during my formative years. And, and you mentioned that. I, I, I've always wondered. I know that I, maybe some psychiatrist out there has experienced this in which one of their clients or patients has to have their porno from a certain era and it has to be on a vcr. Sure. And you were saying that a certain sound you associated with. Oh, I'll, I'll. Oh, boy. Oh, yeah. Okay, here we go. Get buttered up. Get buttered up. It's a coming. The sound, the sound of the modem. That was the era when you discovered online porno. You had to. Well, that's what it was. Yeah, yeah, that's. It was new and I was of the age. When did, did the DVDs of porn get phased out? I think they followed pretty much the, yeah, the trend of streaming and anything got earlier to any type of any genre got earlier than any other. Now will that go away now that half the states in America have restrictions on.

[Tom]

On the age?

[Christy]

Yeah, they have. I forget how it works. I know, I.

[Tom]

You have to prove you're over 18.

[Christy]

You always had to. At the physical, physical stores. Oh, you do? Yeah, yeah. 14 year old couldn't go in and rent a porn. And what was the name of the store you used to go to? Spankies was one of them and Award Video was the other. Now Spanky's had like mainstream movies as well, right, or. No, these were both exclusively. Okay. Porn. Yeah. Ah, I did not know that. Now if, if you go to those used CD and DVD stores, do they typically have a erotic section, if you will? Oh, I have seen some where they do. Yeah. Yeah. Even stores like Remember Fries? There were only a few around the country, but they would have an adult section. I never told you guys this story, I don't think, but I know. And Pat, this, this could lead into your song. Is one night I was at before the open mic at the St. Louis Funny Bone. The porn spankies was pretty close to the Funny Bone. And so I went there first and I was renting some movies and there were two guys behind the counter and they were having a conversation. The one guy goes, yeah, I'm out of here in about an hour. And the guy goes, oh, what are you up to tonight? And he goes, me and my girlfriend are going to the St. Louis funny bone to watch some comedy. And I go, I'll, I, I'll see you there. Because I was on stage. Hey, I know that guy. Yeah, it was kind of a bummer.

[Tom]

Did you feel uncomfortable knowing he was in the audience?

[Christy]

No, I just went, whatever.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Christy]

Now, Pat, you got your guitar out. Yeah, that was a long time ago. That was, that was back in 97, way before Josh. Good stream. You'd have to go to Spanky's for a dirty tape or magazine. Down at the pawn shop he daft to drop oh yeah To a nasty rundown building off I65 down at the porn shop the creepy clerky smile down at the porn shop where's the big booty aisle? Down at the porn shop his mom has many concerns when she makes his returns down at the porn shop. Porn shop here. Looking around the place, Josh can believe his eyes. Videos of butts and boobies, every color, every size down at the pawn shop. Whip back in you where he took his pants off in the video Bo. We had guests over down at the porn shop. It ain't so discreet down at the porn shop. Your butcher's beating the meat. Josh won't leave the house, doesn't need a hooker spouse that had the porn shop. Poor shop. Thank you very much. What happens? I now I just go, there are way other. There are so many other things I could be I want to do as opposed to just.

[Tom]

Yeah. Desire reigns as we get older, Josh.

[Christy]

Yeah. And I think you go, oh, no, my time is limited on this earth. I'm going to try to get some things done. Now. I know that we have the Academy Awards coming up and this pornography award show, the avenue ends. You know, they getting up there and thanking their parents. They do. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom]

Yes.

[Christy]

Yeah. It's an industry, Tom. It is. And it's not as taboo as you. I mean it has to be fairly.

[Tom]

Awesome as you make it to be.

[Christy]

It's a multiple billion dollar business. Yeah, man. Saying the award ceremony, I'm just saying a guy up there in a tux going, I just want to thank everybody who helped me out with all hands on dick, our tribute to pt 69. And fellas, thank you very much. I mean, come on. Embarrassing. But it's only embarrassing to you. It's not to them. Do they have it? I watch it because of the. The categories I find very humorous. See, this is one of the cases where Ace actually is more schooled in the awards themselves because you've seen multiple. Yeah. Do they do the pre show? Do they have like them walking on the pink carpet? They've got. Who's the guy who's always on the radio? Red carpet. That'd be. You don't have Melissa Rivers. Yeah, Melissa Rivers on the pink carpet. They say, who are you wearing? Yeah. Also it is very much like, well, I guess at that thing. Who aren't you wearing or who are you almost wearing? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Well, coming up, I have a question that kind of revolves around this, but we'll get back to that in a few minutes. We go back to the SILAC insurance news desk with Christy Lee.

[Tom]

Who knew. But apparently well endowed men struggle with self esteem issues. Issues some say that most dream of having a large male member. Guys, but if you're in the group of the very well endowed Having a large penis can be more of a curse. Some well endowed men have shared their penis related relationship woes onto Reddit with users often offering their antidotes. Like three relationships I have had ended due at least in part because my mail member was too long.

[Christy]

That is a shame.

[Tom]

And saddest was when the woman I married said she enjoyed sex. Then about two months into the marriage admitted I was way too big and sex constantly hurt her.

[Christy]

That's awful.

[Tom]

That's horrible.

[Christy]

You want to be sexually compatible, right?

[Tom]

Other cited self esteem issues saying women are just shallow as men and will talk to your penis without bothering to make eye contact.

[Christy]

What?

[Tom]

Yeah. I don't believe that.

[Christy]

I don't understand.

[Tom]

And that they felt objectified by potential partners.

[Christy]

That's really interesting that guys. That guys have that they feel that way. The only downside I've always found was skinny dipping. Oh, that's what gets them. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom]

Like a rudder. Is it?

[Christy]

Or is it more of an anchor mistaken for an eel? That sort of thing. In fact, some of those blurry nessie photos are actually Tom. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom]

Other issues included needing to buy a larger pant size for the lower inseam.

[Christy]

And then stretching out the top of your sock. Oh, that's a shame.

[Tom]

And hot days being a problem.

[Christy]

Oh yeah. Boy, these hot days sure are night sweats. I wonder if there's a judge out there who back in the day when divorces had to be contested, some woman came in and said, your honor, I have to leave him because his male member is too large. That'll be when you go home and tell the wife you're not gonna believe what happened today. Lady walked in. My dad said while they were he was in the army, the drill sergeant was going around checking everybody's out uniforms, making sure they were all up to snuff and everything. And you could see one guy's bulge, he was so well endowed. And the drill sergeant for minutes just berated him for having too big of a.

[Tom]

Like he could control that.

[Christy]

Right. Right. What are you supposed to do? He's to supposed. That's how John Holmes was discovered in the army. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, I remember reading that there was. There's a. Interesting book about. He's the. He's the guy they based on Dirk Diggler. Now that you're back here, before we get to the appetizer here, I have a technical question for you. Okay. And this may reflect more on me. Sure. Than on you guys. We were looking at the photographs of Ms. Cox. Yes. What was her Name again.

[Tom]

Kendra.

[Christy]

Kendra Cox.

[Tom]

Both with K's.

[Christy]

Both chick and I went those boobs are fake.

[Tom]

They're real.

[Christy]

You insist that they're real. Yeah. Now neither of you ladies are would be considered flat chested. However I know you know women who might be right do flat chested women. The analogy would be two bald guys. Like where I always go that's a toupee. Do flat chested women always, always go those boobs are fake. In other words do they develop a I don't know. I don't know. I guess I don't care. Yeah. I don't. I don't care. It's only when you guys say it that I'm gonna call you out and go no, you're wrong. That's a fair question, Tom. But I don't think women no. I think women are way better at knowing if they're real or fake. Yeah.

[Tom]

And I think women who are flat chested if they wanted them they would get them. And they don't care.

[Christy]

Yeah. Yeah. They're not as. Yeah. But yeah. My. For example I watched the commercial for the super on the super bowl with Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan. Yes. Which is and it's really well done. I'm not going to spoil it. I thought it was great. I'm a fan. Meg looks great. But I did. I thought that the toupee that Mr. Crystal was wearing was really obvious because you lack hair. The first thing that your eye is drawn to. Exactly. That's my question. What you're not taking into an account is not all bald guys care. Are that worried about. They're not. They're not as well. I saw a still of Billy Crystal from that commercial. I would never have guessed. I wouldn't have either. I thought at first it was a dead muskrat on his head. But. But you know what?

[Tom]

Whenever. When I will always appreciate a beautiful.

[Christy]

Chest if I'm just like man, that's you. Good job. Those are great knockers and hammers. Yeah. But I mean I guess party bags. But yeah. I'm always but I know but I.

[Tom]

Don'T but I don't want them.

[Christy]

And you ladies are both perfectly acceptable in that realm. Help me get out of this chair. Is letting me die uncomfortable moment that I'm enjoying now. Coming up we have this. This is leading to this other story we have and I I had never heard of this can just give me.

[Tom]

The real BBL vampire breast lift.

[Christy]

There is a new thing out there I guess the vampire breast lift and it's approved by Whatever the fda. And it's, it's, it's a natural way.

[Tom]

To enhance your own.

[Christy]

Enhance boobs. And it's not like an exercise or fake thing on the Internet. One, you boob. We'll find out what that is all about. You can just not care for it. You don't have to comment. But it's gonna be. We're coming right back, so stand by. We're gonna learn about milkshakes, the protector and a summer penis, whatever that is. It's coming up next on the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back. More of the Bob and Tom Show. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios. We got a summer penis. Is that some kind of disease or something? Milkshakes and the protector. Coming up in this segment, going through some of our mail. What is it? That must be because a milkshake don't shake like that. What is it? What am I trying to say?

[Tom]

Brings all the boys.

[Christy]

Damn right. It's better than.

[Tom]

Than yours.

[Christy]

Better than. What does she mean by that? You're damn right.

[Tom]

What do you mean? What does she mean?

[Christy]

It gets back to my American male's fascination all of a sudden with the behind.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Christy]

It went from boobs to behind. Well, because of the Kardashians. Right. But doesn't build milkshake sort of ingest boobs. That's what I thought. I thought milkshake just.

[Tom]

That's her hips and she's shaking her ass.

[Christy]

Right, right. But I'm saying the presence of milk. Right, right. Oh, I. No, I don't. I, I get boob. I get bought out of milkshake as well.

[Tom]

No, but, but I, I get it. Obviously it's the source.

[Christy]

Yes.

[Tom]

Why wouldn't it be your breasts?

[Christy]

I don't know. Would you drink a milkshake made out of mother's milk? Human mother's milk? Any. Any human mother milk? I don't think so. I'm. Did you ever. Did you ever taste any of the milk that was available in your. Many, many, many children? You've had four a.

[Tom]

Into this.

[Christy]

Well, when you re.

[Tom]

When you reheat breast milk, if you've used a pump, you do usually put a little bit on your wrist and.

[Christy]

Then lick it off.

[Tom]

Probably. And yeah.

[Christy]

In an episode of Friends, one character describes it as tasting like cantaloupe. Would you say that's true? I don't think it's that sweet. Okay. No. Yeah.

[Tom]

I've never tasted.

[Christy]

I've never known friends to lie to me. I'm sorry. You know what is sweet, though?

[Tom]

Okay.

[Christy]

How about that pudding? So creepy. Got a chick. Did I. Did I give you the story about the. The new award in the NFL, or did I forget to give that to you? No, I chose not to read it. I chose the. Here's the thing. I. I talked with the Chick McGee board.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Christy]

Yeah. And they were unanimous. They said, don't do this story. Unanimous. Unanimous. I thought you'd like that story. It's a cash grab for an advertisement, but go. Go ahead. You think. Why? I don't understand. Well, what is it? Yeah.

[Tom]

Is it sponsored by somebody?

[Christy]

There's a new. You know, like, there's mvp, there's Rookie of the Year, Defensive Rookie of the Year. Now there's. What is it? Offensive Protector. Yeah, yeah. The. The name. I admit the name.

[Tom]

Offensive Protector.

[Christy]

Yeah. Brought to you by Armor All. Oh, come on. Whatever. No, I made up the Armor All. It's Wyman of the Year. The headline is NFL introducing Protector of the Year over award for the O line.

[Tom]

So that sounds weird. So you're protecting a quarterback. So.

[Christy]

So who's. In other words, which. Which lineman was great at protecting the quarterback and. All right, I can see him selling it to, say, the Trojan people. Right. Right there. See you. You're thinking advertisers, too. Oh, you got to make some money. Come on. And no one calls it.

[Tom]

Oh, yeah, the NFL. Struggling.

[Christy]

Anything about the NFL, by the way? Yeah. I think our friend just Saturday probably would have won that had they had that back in the day. Oh, yeah. Protector of the Year. You kidding me? Call it something better than that.

[Tom]

I don't like Protector of the Year.

[Christy]

Yeah. Like, you know, in college, there's the Outlander trope, and I don't know who it's named after, but it's the offensive lineman sector of the year. Sounds like something you would give to a Secret Service. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Bed Narrator Award, I think, is linebacker. Yeah, the name makes. They. I. They should name it after somebody. They should. Who was history's best. I think people would say John Hannah from the Patriots or something. So the Hannah. The Hannah really does have a nice ring to it. Yeah. All right. We fixed it. Yay. Or to maybe the. The. The PR dude that protects some guy from getting the terrible publicity he deserves for some horrible thing that he did. Oh. Kind of a spin doctor award. Oh, you say attack. I say it was a former love interest. Okay. She consented. She. She consented to me punching her in the face. You know that's right. She wanted to. She likes it. No, have you ever heard anything stupider than somebody saying that? And the response is, she liked it rough. Oh, boy. Don't you just want to. Is that right? Okay. Talking to. That'd be fun. To be shut down, shoved down an escalator. Maybe the cop that arrested me. Oh, uh, yeah, it'd be. That's a new award. I think it's kind of fun. Sorry. We'll move on.

[Tom]

Health experts warn that a phenomenon called summer penis is back in the news. You guys, it could be.

[Christy]

Is this like summer teeth?

[Tom]

That could worsen erectile dysfunction symptoms.

[Christy]

But this has been debunked.

[Tom]

Doctors are over. Donald Grant told the Daily Mail that hotter temperatures can make it more difficult for men to get or keep an erection for multiple reasons. Pat has a song including dehydration, fatigue and poison poor sleep. He added that rising temperatures tends to lead to an increase in alcohol consumption, which can also have an extremely negative impact on ED symptoms. Sure it's not called summer penis.

[Christy]

Yeah, no, you're right.

[Tom]

Whiskey. Yeah. I've never heard of summer penis. Well, it's a phenomenon, Jess, of men appearing to grow in the summer.

[Christy]

Summer penis had me a blast. I thought it was like cuffing, like the cuffing season.

[Tom]

I thought, like there's a penis season.

[Christy]

Like there's more penis to be had in the summer. I think it's just. I think it's in the winter when things are cold penis, you know? Is that Frank? You know what cuffing season is? Let's just get this over with, okay? Is that Frank? It is. Summer penis. Yeah. Gets big and strong in the sun and heat. Oh, it has. Thank you, Joe. It has more girth. Ladies, please keep it down. It has more girth. Something about the warmth. It expands the meat. It was nice and long. I had a Speedo on and took my girlfriend's hand. Two lovers and a summer penis. Dragon in the sand. I'm not done yet. A winter penis. There's a sad sight behind that fly. This is where? Under the pubic hair. Oh, he goes to die. My girlfriend longs for those August nights when he's at his angriest and meanest. Come back, come back. My summer penis. My summer penis. Ha. Thank you, ladies. Thank you, J. Frank. Thank you. You were there that night. You were beautiful. You're on the left side. Yeah. So it's. It's a heat related. But they're saying that you're outside more. You're going to get drunk and you're not going to be able to function. You're not going to be able to watch Function Function. I don't blame you for asking. You're not going to be able to.

[Tom]

I had a really funny Frank Sinatra live from like the 70s. I don't know, he was doing some show and he goes, yeah, I'm off the whiskey, I'm off the hard stuff. He goes, it's Mouton Cade for me. It's some kind of wine that I remember my mom having. And I was like, mutin Cade. I haven't heard that in a hundred years. And it was just so funny to hear him say, I'm off the hard stuff. Yeah, it's Mouton card for me. That's funny. Yeah, it's really funny.

[Christy]

I think of the Andy, stop drinking the Jack.

[Tom]

And it was all red wine that I remember Lamb Brusco when I was a kid.

[Christy]

That was. Is that the sweet. So nice on ice. Was that.

[Tom]

On ice?

[Christy]

So nice. We were a Boone's Farm family. Okay.

[Tom]

Strawberry Hill.

[Christy]

Strawberry Hill. I shoplifted Boons family. Why? It was. It was $3. Hey, times were tough. It was just. It was the thrill in his case. Well, thank you. We've covered everything. Is that correct?

[Tom]

That is not correct, Tom, but thank you. A man has been diagnosed with so called parrot chlamydia.

[Christy]

That's right.

[Tom]

After accidentally inhaling chicken droppings.

[Christy]

Inhaling chicken droppings?

[Tom]

According to a report in BMC Infectious Diseases.

[Christy]

Yeah, I like to huff in the coop.

[Tom]

The 26 year old was hospitalized in China.

[Christy]

I see.

[Tom]

With a lingering cough and persistent high fever.

[Christy]

Polly, why don't have antibiotic people in America? Don't get me.

[Tom]

Test showed he had psittacosis or parrot fever caused by chlamydia Siaki bacteria. Physicians reported the man had mistakenly inhaled chicken manure. Now okay, I've done a lot of crazy things in my day, but how do you mistakenly inhale chicken manure?

[Christy]

I'm assuming drinking was involved. It's white like cocaine.

[Tom]

Yeah. Oh, and for those of you who are going to this chlamydia is not the same as the sexually transmitted chlamydia.

[Christy]

Still.

[Tom]

But they are part of the same bacterial chlamydia is. Chlamydia is chlamydia.

[Christy]

Aren't men all carriers? Isn't that right? And it doesn't affect us. No, that's hpv. Yeah. Oh. So but it causes. It causes forgetfulness in men. You can actually really clearly see my hpv. I have hdpv. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom]

Is that more expensive?

[Christy]

It's high definition papillon.

[Tom]

My definition.

[Christy]

Mine's crazy, shaky and wild. It's. No, no, hang on. Be patient.

[Tom]

Everybody.

[Christy]

Everybody want to guess what it is? Is it hpdt? You'll see. What do I have? No, not the dts.

[Tom]

You have Attention Deficit syndrome.

[Christy]

Adhd, tv, pv. Well, there's too many letters. I can't even do my own joke, so I'm confused. So the parrots have. The parrots have chlamydia? Yeah. What's it called?

[Tom]

Chicken fever.

[Christy]

Bird fever. You got to boogie down. Hey, Josh, was this one of your show choir songs? Yes. Yes. Oh, you guys boogie. Did you do a dance to it? Do you have the hand at least the hand movements? I don't. I. I can try. Could you favor us with that, please? Well, hang on a second. Yeah. Oh, it's kind of. It's kind of like a. Kind of like a YMCA thing.

[Tom]

They were singing.

[Christy]

They were singing while they were moving. Did you ever do the YMCA song.

[Tom]

Spin around when you said going around?

[Christy]

I don't remember, but probably. We never did ymca. No. Their salt would have you spin.

[Tom]

I enjoy being a girl is what I did at state contest.

[Christy]

Yeah, I enjoy being a girl. That's good. A good song. I did that for talent show. Okay, Josh, since you're the one that loves grammar and you want to keep using semicolons. Well, I already use them. Spell the word chlamydia for me. K. No, you know it's not. I know, but I know what? He wanted to set me up. I will not be chl. I will not allow an insinuation.

[Tom]

CHL is correct.

[Christy]

A silent G, M, Y, D, I, A. Yep.

[Tom]

Very good chick.

[Christy]

Chlamydia also could be a girl's first namedia. Doesn't it sound like a name? I mean. Yeah, it does.

[Tom]

That's why I like the name Lydia. But I didn't want to name my daughter Lydia because I knew everybody would rhyme it with chlamydia.

[Christy]

No, Lydia the encyclopedia. And what happened? She got. Got it. Anyway, I wanted to name my daughter.

[Tom]

Naomi for the longest time, and then I recently learned that Naomi backwards is I moan.

[Christy]

I could have potentially named my daughter I Moan.

[Tom]

Hooker.

[Christy]

That would have. Yeah, that would have been bad. You get paid more. Yeah, she's really into. She loves me. We've got some more stuff coming up for you on the Bob and Tom show this morning. Yachts for tots and comedian Audrey Stewart coming up. Plus Grant's music and things to learn by the time you're 18. That's next here on the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back. This is the best of the Bob and Tom Show. Glad you're here. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. How about the segment about Grant's music? Talking about us, Grant? Well, let's find out. And things to learn by the time you're 18. We gotta catch up with a couple things here. Now, we wished happy birthday to Grant. What is he, five or six?

[Tom]

He's, he turned five today.

[Christy]

He wants to grow up to be a dj. Grant wants more? Well, no, but he, I, I asked, I asked Christy to correspond with Grant's mom because Valerie, he, he, he wants to be a DJ because he likes her show. And I was, was kind of curious what kind of music he was into. And you got the answer.

[Tom]

I do have the answer. She said anything from Here come the mummies. But especially Wiener man is his absolute favorite.

[Christy]

Great song.

[Tom]

And if we're talking like, I guess, other music. He's an old soul, loves Iron man and Low Rider.

[Christy]

Oh, those are both great for that ass. Yeah. What about Cisco Kid? Cisco Kids, I like that.

[Tom]

That's a good song.

[Christy]

Was a friend of mine. How about, how about the one I. I know you're not a big fan, but I am Eric, Eric Burden. Spill the wine. Spill the Wine. I love that. I love that girl. Because that song starts out with my favorite, I was Walking. Yes. Didn't war also do? Why Can't We Be Friends? Yeah, that's a good one. Those are all great. We gotta turn this little bit different too.

[Tom]

Why Can't We Be Friends? Sounds nothing like Lowrider.

[Christy]

I wonder if he likes hello Muda, hello Father. Probably considering you know, anybody loves. He must be a victim of reincarnation. If he likes hello Mother, hello Father. Can you. He's probably too young for that one, but he will like Papa Umau MAU by the. Probably by the Rivingtons. What five year old boy wouldn't love that? That's a great song. What can we write her back saying? Play Papa Umamau for him. It's by the Rivingtons. Are we gonna play the song he wants? I feel like a killjoy, but you know there are many other people listening other than Grant. You know that, right? Well, not only that, but the kid requested something and Tom goes, well, how about this? Yeah, he wants Wiener Man. He's five years old. What the hell does he know? No, he doesn't. Cut my dangly off, put it in the sauce. Well, let's, let's move forward and then we'll Get. We'll get back to the wiener man. I'm gonna eat my own quack if you don't be quiet.

[Tom]

I want to hear Pat sing a song.

[Christy]

Well, while he gets ready. This always takes 10 minutes. While you get ready. I gotta read this. I gotta read this. This letter. This comes to us from Don. Hello, Don. Unusual intro. He goes, hey, bag sniffers. Bag sniffer. Not sure how to take that. Snorting balls. Then he says, oh, that's what he means. Yes. Now I can't read the rest of it. If you're cool. If you cool, you send us an email. The only way you can send a message that you're cool without sending a message is just say, dear Show. Yeah, that's it. He says, while you were talking about the greatest band ever, the Ozark Mountain Daredevils. They're still touring after 52 years. Try their gin. Josh, you'll like this. It's made from Missouri botanicals, and it's the best. Oh, all right. Well, thank you, Don.

[Tom]

Make a French 75 with it this weekend.

[Christy]

Ozark Mountain Daredevils had a couple great songs. If you want to get to heaven. I love that Christy. That has the best harmonica solo, maybe. Did they do Jeff? What did you just say? No, they did. Yeah, they did. What did you say? About what?

[Tom]

I said, I will make a French 75 with that this weekend.

[Christy]

Can you. Can you do me a favor? Yeah, get in the program. Come on. What's drinking too much French 75? Fancy martini, right? No.

[Tom]

Well, it's gin Prosecco, and that's too much liquor. Club soda.

[Christy]

That's the only way I can function. If she makes me drink some lemon drunk or I am the better.

[Tom]

Some people put simple syrup in it. I don't care for that.

[Christy]

Hear that? That's all 24 hours a day at my house. Well, her house. It's been made clear.

[Tom]

No, it's our house now.

[Christy]

Okay. Now, Pat. Yeah. The topic is things everyone should know by the time they're 18. And we've had a couple good examples. Things, you know, I'd like to be able to drive a stick shift.

[Tom]

Here's a good one. Packing a suitcase efficiently, taking no more than necessary.

[Christy]

That's good. That's always overpack.

[Tom]

Do you really?

[Christy]

Oh, I'm a mess. Not me.

[Tom]

Absolutely not me.

[Christy]

I can do.

[Tom]

I can carry on and go to Europe. Go.

[Christy]

Now, some of these things we've learned that YouTube can be quite a help, right?

[Tom]

Huh? This one I don't think I could do. Cut up a Whole chicken into pieces.

[Christy]

Oh, what is that? Spatchcock? Yeah, Spatchcock's when you crush it down with a. With a cement block. Right.

[Tom]

Cleaning a fish. I can't do that either.

[Christy]

Josh. Why does Everybody, when they're 18, have. Have to do that?

[Tom]

I don't know.

[Christy]

What about scaling a fish, Josh? Sure. Perfect. Still reviewing. I really like this topic. Things you're supposed to know by the time you're 18. Any more good ones?

[Tom]

Well, Pat mentioned these. Change of tire, of course. Tie a tie. That's on here.

[Christy]

Can you tie a tie, Josh? Yeah. Yeah. I've never tried tying a bow tie, but I can. Absolutely. There are lots of shortcuts to tie in a tie. It looks really cool. I haven't tried it yet on there. Yeah. Oh, really?

[Tom]

So a button back on. Can y' all do that?

[Christy]

Yep. I can't anymore. I used to be able to.

[Tom]

You can't.

[Christy]

How do you lose the talent? I really do feel like if really in Helmec, we had to do it and I learned, and I don't feel like I could do it now. Maybe I could. I've got one of those little tomatoes. Yeah. My needles. You do? Absolutely. No, that's important. On a rainy Sunday afternoon, I'll just us. So I sew the dog's sweaters.

[Tom]

It does say contact a tailor or seamstress for more major repairs.

[Christy]

No, that's not necessary. No, I'm on a simplicity pattern right now just to die for.

[Tom]

That is very funny.

[Christy]

That is very funny. I don't. How many people got that? That's me. Okay.

[Tom]

Perform CPR or the Heimlich. That's very important.

[Christy]

One of our guys, Mike. Mark.

[Tom]

Yeah. Saved somebody just recently.

[Christy]

Like two weeks ago. Allegedly. I'm like the guy in a restaurant. Well, anybody could say that. There's no video proof of that.

[Tom]

Oh, you guys.

[Christy]

Oh, God, I hope that Josh is turning purple before someone comes up. Hey, I got a Heimlich. You know you're faking. It's a renowned liar on our staff. Okay.

[Tom]

Every 18 year old should be able to do laundry, read laundry labels, know when to hand one, wash iron fold.

[Christy]

Pat, can you do laundry?

[Tom]

Lint trap.

[Christy]

I mean, I have a washer that I've sort of figured out. I don't. I put the. Yeah. I put the whites in the hot and I. I use the cold for the colors. How do. But you do do laundry. I do. I. I'm sure you're fine. Washer and dryer there. H. You use it? Yeah, I prefer to Go down to the shirt place. Zips. Here in town, it's called Zips. Wait a minute. Hang on a second.

[Tom]

You take your laundry to a place and they do it for you?

[Christy]

Yeah, I prefer that. It's called Zips. You take. You dump a load in. Is that what you do down at Zips? See, you talk about a liar. Of course, he doesn't do his own laundry. No, I think he does socks and pants. Oh, sock. Oh, wow.

[Tom]

Oh, boy. Do your towels.

[Christy]

Learned that when you were 40, but they do. I meant to tell you guys, this zip is more than just a dry cleaner. The big. The big occurrence out of going to Aruba was the hotel room had an amazing iron. I couldn't believe it. Wow. I immediately ordered an exact copy on Amazon and I got it a couple days ago. This thing is amazing.

[Tom]

What makes it so cool?

[Christy]

It's just light. It's. It keeps temperature. I had an iron that if you held. If it didn't hold your mouth right, it would slip off of linen and cotton, and you'd hold your mouth right.

[Tom]

What are you doing?

[Christy]

It was a mess. It was just. I got a real important tip. I got a great iron now, man. Hotel irons, nice and light. I like. I like to use them. But if you're using them, do try them out on a towel first in.

[Tom]

Case there's rust or something on it.

[Christy]

Ever done the thing you take, you press that steam spray button, all of a sudden you've got this imprint on your white shirt. Yeah. It looks like a Japanese flag. Oh, boy. Well, the day of my comedy special, I burned my stage shirt. You did? On a hotel iron? Yeah. The kind of fabric. It was too hot. Big hole. Oh, okay, once again, more things you're supposed to know by the time you're 18.

[Tom]

What else do we want? Oh, this is one we were talking about with just the other day. Coil an extension cord or a long rope properly. Because there is a way to do that.

[Christy]

There are. There are handymen who lose their minds. Yep. If you don't. Actual real men construction. If you don't do that correctly, they get really upset.

[Tom]

They do.

[Christy]

You're gonna loosen the plug in it. We're gonna have to do her again, crap like that. If you're on a sailboat, you've got to make sure your lines are clean and naturally. Yeah, yeah, same thing. I mean, you could trip and they're life and death. On a sailboat. Very.

[Tom]

Check your oil and wiper fluid levels. Top off as needed.

[Christy]

That's important.

[Tom]

Get an Oil change and change your wipers. I don't change my well wipers.

[Christy]

I can change to change my. I. I found out on YouTube how to change my wipers.

[Tom]

Yeah, you're right. Create a simple menu plan. Grocery list. Nope, you can't do that.

[Christy]

No. You can't write a grocery list. No, not really. You know what I make for dinner? Lunch. It's a. It's a phone call. It's an app. Yeah.

[Tom]

Write a proper thank you card. That is an art. That's going away.

[Christy]

I told you. That was. That was one I was joking about, you know? Yeah, you're right. And here we are.

[Tom]

Pitch in. Doing dishes after a meal at someone's home.

[Christy]

Screw you. You have the invited meals. Yeah. You do the dishes. No, but if they're doing dishes, I can go in their bathroom and go through their medicine cabinet and see what I need. This is like, straight out of how to Make Friends and Influence People. This is so old school.

[Tom]

Unclog toilets and drains.

[Christy]

Well, unless you're at someone else's house, then you leave that for them. Right, Josh? That's right. You invited me over. I take a dump and ruin your toilet. You clean it up. No is how. This is how good your food. Never leave a man in the. Come out of the bathroom. And you point your thumb. You go, I wrecked that place in there. Good luck.

[Tom]

There's one. That's really stupid. Pack a lunch. Who can't pack a lunch?

[Christy]

I can't pack a lunch. I. My mom packed my lunch. I will never pack a lunch again. Because I had to. When I was in school, and I was embarrassed every day, I had to because everybody else bought their lunch. Cafeteria. Oh, and I had to steal money from old people before I could get lunch. I was on the free lunch program. Talk about being bullied. Hey, why are you bullying? I'm. I'm already very poor, and now you're gonna make fun of me for it.

[Tom]

Oh, Josh, can I take you out to lunch today?

[Christy]

No, I'm fine. Now we can tell. So they. So the way the program worked, they would let everyone know that you. I had to pull out a. It was a punch card. So I had to have. I carry with me, and I had to hand it. It to them, and they made it, you know, subtle. It was bright neon orange and like a DUI license plate from Ohio.

[Tom]

Here's one for you, Josh. Read a challenging book, cover to cover.

[Christy]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've done it.

[Tom]

I've done it. What's the most challenging book You've read probably Anna Karena.

[Christy]

That's a tough one. Yeah.

[Tom]

I can't even say it.

[Christy]

Challenging. You can't say the title.

[Tom]

I was so disappointed with that book.

[Christy]

Oh, my God. What are you talking about?

[Tom]

It was supposed to.

[Christy]

We gotta talk about my life. Life.

[Tom]

And it was not that challenging.

[Christy]

But, I mean, maybe you should have tried reading it in English. The original Russians. Real talk. Yeah. She had no idea. All these backwards letters. What the hell's going on here?

[Tom]

Get on a plane, train or bus and go somewhere on your own.

[Christy]

Her name was Ann. Karen. And then one of the things I don't think is on this list. This is not a joke. Someone told me that by the time a kid goes to college, you should be able to leave them in your home. House and leave for a week. And when you come back, the house is still intact.

[Tom]

Well, of course that doesn't happen.

[Christy]

I'm guessing. I'm just going to guess, but I don't think Tom ever had that happen. This is the shot in the dark.

[Tom]

All right. Okay.

[Christy]

Party at the Griswold. Yeah. I can't go into too much detail, but it's interesting, the number of times I've met the police. Oh, hi, Tom. We got a call. Yeah, I've been there.

[Tom]

And then the last one we'll do is turn off all plumbing and electrical breakers.

[Christy]

The only way I know how to do that. I don't know where my water shut off is. Oh, yeah. I'm surprised I know where my. I can shut it off at the water softener.

[Tom]

We did not either. We had to have handyman Mike come over last weekend to show.

[Christy]

Yeah, you gotta. You gotta know where that is. And you've got to know. I think it's out at the curb where the boxes are.

[Tom]

Curb.

[Christy]

Out to the curb? I think so. Yeah. The water shut off. That's really important. Some people. It's outside, they have to have this big key thing and. Yeah. And you gotta. You got. You got to know where the sump pump. If you have a. If depending on where you live or your house is, like all that stuff. Yeah. Walk through. You know, that's.

[Tom]

There's a lot. There are a lot more, but we've.

[Christy]

This is fun. And then there's also a list for, you know, old people do.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Christy]

I think it's very important when you reach the age of 50 that you have a drawer that has a series of old cell phones that no longer.

[Tom]

Work and the chargers and iPads and laptops and. Yeah.

[Christy]

How many iPads, MacBooks or whatever. Laptops, iPads that do you. Old phones do you have in drawer somewhere?

[Tom]

I have them in a box now because we're just moved and it's in a tote that's like this deep in this. I don't know what to do with them.

[Christy]

I thought I had have 10 of those. Oh, my God. Mix and match. Yeah. How many old routers do you have in a box? Oh, I do, I do utilize. Yeah. I had to go through like two or three routers for like, I liked. Yeah. Now this is really fun. I'm doing this a lot.

[Tom]

We have a lot more.

[Christy]

Okay, what else is coming up in the news?

[Tom]

We have a British Airways flight attendant loses it in business class.

[Christy]

Blimey.

[Tom]

Yeah, we have.

[Christy]

I can't believe we don't have this story every day. Flight attendant lose it.

[Tom]

You know, this one was working.

[Christy]

This is a really good one.

[Tom]

Right. A gender reveal at 30,000ft. Oh, and the man.

[Christy]

Hey, take a look at this. I think gender reveal, gender. Gender reveals are now illegal.

[Tom]

What?

[Christy]

Yeah, yeah. You have to let the kid decide when they're seven.

[Tom]

Oh, okay.

[Christy]

I'll tell you how to unclog a drain when I come back. The best unclogged drain. Liquid, liquid that I found.

[Tom]

Oh.

[Christy]

History of the world. It's amazing. Gasoline. I stand by it. Well, gasoline, you need a empty beer bottle, gasoline and a rag and you can unclog, you can unclog anything in two seconds. It's a Russian technique, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unbelievable. You want to have, you want to have one of those long lighters, though. Oh, yeah, that way. We're coming right back. Comedian Audrey Stewart is in studio in just a minute. Stand by. This is the Bob and Tom Show. More of the Bob and Tom show now. Welcome back. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Comedian Audrey Stewart joined us recently. Here's her segment. I am Josh Arnold and there's Tom and Tom. We are about to be introduced to a brand new guest to the show, Tom.

[Tom]

This is not how radio works, by the way.

[Christy]

No, no. This time with the microphone on. Yeah, I like that. You're good. I appreciated you wanting to give me my space and you know what I mean. Yeah. While you're trying to talk, I'm murmuring over here, welcome to the show. Audrey Stewart. Hey. Hi, Audrey. What's up? Lovely young comedian. And I just understand. I found out something very interesting. You don't know my son Willie, who's right over there, there. But you do know his girlfriend Yes, I know his girlfriend, Ray Robinson. We went to camp together. We're doing first and last name. Oh, yeah, sorry. Here's her address while we're. Robinson was her name. Ray Robinson.

[Tom]

I love it.

[Christy]

Sorry, Willie. No, it's okay. She's not the teacher. She's gonna get fired. It's fine. They're all good. I don't know if you know this. If you work for the government, dating me is illegal. I don't know if you guys. Yeah, you can't have that around, you know, Continuing the Pat Godwin heritage dating problem. Audrey, we don't know anything about you, so fill us in. Yeah. How tall are you? I'm. I'm 5. I thought I was 5 10, but recently they said 5 9, so I'm 5 9. Still a tall girl. I'm a Hoosier, born and raised, Indianapolis, Indiana. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Live in la. Now stand up comedian. Yeah. Now single. Dating, actually. Yeah. I'm dating a guy right now, which is great. I have no type. I dated a woman before him. I. Wow, that is really. And she is opening up. Well, you know, it's a radio.

[Tom]

Got a mic open?

[Christy]

Sure. Hey, whatever. Yeah, whatever. It's all about love. Does the guy know about the lady thing? Yeah, he knows about the lady thing. Yeah. I mean, they're two. He is like this like, jacked lumberjack kind of guy. And. And the girl I dated was like a very femme girl, but he knows about it because, like, I don't know, we'll be sitting together and when I dated my ex, I won't give her first and last name. Yeah, no, please. Yeah, right. With my ex, Ray Robinson, and I. Wow. That would be. That'd be really kind of problematic. Really? Eskimo comedians. Not this morning. Not again. We've been down that road. It was no fun for everybody. I don't know if you guys remember that morning, but a lot of winks and smokes and mirrors going on. So does your male companion feel obligated to be extraordinarily masculine? Yeah, I feel like he overdoes it sometimes. But we'll like. I don't know, I feel like he. It's not like it's an awkward thing in our relationship, but sometimes we'll be like, sitting on the kids couch and I'll be like, going through my Facebook and like, memories will pop up and it's like, that's how I came. I was like, I'll never date a guy, like, before I. And then that'll pop up and he'll see that and be like, what is this? I was like, oh, I don't know. Old times. Old times. Well, we are horrible. I don't mean it now. Yikes. Now you live in Los Angeles. I live in la. Have you. When you got out there to try to do comedy, were you doing non. Like, dramatic or, for example, like a day job, like a waitress or. I was. I had like seven different jobs all the time. I was a dog walker. I water flowers, nannying. I babysat a lot. That was the main thing is when I babysat. Okay. Yeah. You like, kids? Love kids. Oh, there you go. Kids are the best. But never, never a waitress. No, never a waitress. Would you be a good waitress, do you think? I think I'd be pretty bad. I'm really clumsy. I feel like I'd be a really bad. I would drop all her stuff all the. Immediately. Ray Robinson, this was a great last visit. Nice meeting you, Audrey. Let's go around the horn now. In. In LA are like. Are LA kids, like, weird to babysit? Do they have, like, different, like, snacks? Like, do they have, like. Yeah. Okay, so LA is so much different. I babysat a lot in Indiana, and the snacks were amazing. And then la, they'll be like, is Hubbard yourself to anything in the house? And then you open one of their cabinets. It's like an almond that has no salt on it, and you're like, what is this? Wait a minute. You've been to my house? And they also are very bougie. Like, one of the moms I babysat for, she, like, kept her breast milk in. In, like, the fridge, and I actually. I drank it. I drank her breast milk. Did you know it was breast milk? No, I didn't know at the time. But it was sweet. It was very good. It's very good. It was California, so it was probably almond. Yeah. Everything you're saying sounds like my house. Now that I figured that. Good. Tom, let's. I want to go around the horn here. Jobs you've had before this one. Ace, did you. You. You were doing radio in high school, right? Yeah, but I did a summer where I was working in the food service at a hospital delivering trays to the patient. But you didn't cook. You weren't a waiter. No, no, no. You'd be a great waiter. No, you'd. You'd just scare people. Oh, no. None of us think you're scary, Ace. Except Tom. I know, but we all. So, no, none of us are scaredy. You're a nice guy. I'm not Suggesting you're not intimidating. I've done things. Oh. You know. Now, Willie, you. You were a camp counselor. Yeah, I'm a big camp guy. Which. Those. Those job skills don't really translate to the real world. I guess. The one thing is you kind of have to be prepared for anything, you know, like the. The camp that I went to, I was there since I was like, bit a little. Little kid. And so my boss at one point was this guy that I like, looked up to, you know, he was the camp manager. And one time a kid went to the bathroom in his pants and on the floor and I had to clean it up. And I ran in like, his office when I was like 18, like, hey, Mark, I gotta get the key so I can clean up some. Some poop from a kid. And he got this, like, twinkle in his eye. Like, look at Willie G. He used to be the kid poop. And now he's cleaning up. Look at how grown up he is. And he threw me the keys. Nice. And thank you you for saying poo. Yeah, Audrey. Audrey. We say poop. Yeah, that's. Thank you very much. Patty G. You didn't. You were a dishwasher for one year at Sully's Oak and Bucket with Kenny Aronoff was the cook. We had the famous drummer. It's Kenny's birthday today.

[Tom]

Is it really?

[Christy]

Wow. Famous drummer Kenny Aof John Mellen. Together for a year, getting no work done and laughing. It was.

[Tom]

Did you guys write songs together?

[Christy]

No. Oh, no. I watched his band a lot though. I'd follow him around. He's in a band called Stream Winner before Melon Camp. Cool. He's the greatest. He is. He's a wonderful guy. He's got a book out there called Sex Drums and Rock and Roll.

[Tom]

Yes. Very good.

[Christy]

Oh, yes. Christy Lee, you worked at Arby's.

[Tom]

Yes. Welcome to Arby's. May take your order, please?

[Christy]

I think that's where you got your mic. Your mic technique. Sure.

[Tom]

Yeah. I worked in the hospital. Like ace I was in. I was a ward secretary in the emergency room at the now at Arby's.

[Christy]

Is it true that you'd give the time and temp and then on the 10 traffic. Yes.

[Tom]

Welcome to Arby's. It's cloudy skies, 32 degrees. What would you like today? I recommend a classic roast beef.

[Christy]

This does. I. Well, this does kind of translate. My last summer at camp, I just started doing standup the summer before and part of my job at camp was I would lead like sort of these, like they they were kind of like religious meetings, I guess. I don't want to call it church. We called it Crossfire. And so, like, you go and you talk, talk about, like, Jonah and the Whale or the Good Samaritan. And I would try to tell these stories and kind of be kind of funny and engaging. And one day after chapel, it didn't go very well. And I went to my boss and I was just like, yeah, I just feel like I kind of bombed up there. And she was like, you're not performing. Stand up. You're trying to teach a lesson. Get over yourself. I was gonna tell you about the resurrection, but I got the light, so you're gonna have to wait. It's a great story. Story. Some say the greatest, but, you know, it depends on your religious point of view. Christy. Lisa.

[Tom]

A man is seen writhing in pain after being bitten in the groin by a large snake. Videos of the incident show the man, right, arriving on the ground with the reptile latched onto his jeans. Another man tries to assist by placing a stick in the snake's mouth before pouring water over its head.

[Christy]

Say that very slowly placing a stick. Stick. Okay. Yeah.

[Tom]

The incident occurred. Get your mind out of the government.

[Christy]

That's what's going on. The stakes all over his, you know.

[Tom]

Yeah. Well, the incident occurred in Panital, Brazil, where the man was taken to the hospital, as you would expect, for medical treatment.

[Christy]

It's rough. I. I couldn't even watch it after it. Snakes, you know, latched on to him. Yeah, it's gotta suck. That's a big one.

[Tom]

A big one.

[Christy]

They're gonna make a move movie out of it. Well, they are. Yeah. Yeah. What's it called? Snakes on a wang. Okay. I mean, sometimes I feel like we're having a conversation and then I think he's trying to be funny now.

[Tom]

And then he does that.

[Christy]

I thought we were having a nice morning together. Who. Who are these snake people? Josh is a snake eye snakes. Now, would you ever handle your snake unclothed? No, no. If I. When I had a snake, I would not do that. There would be no occasion to.

[Tom]

Why would you.

[Christy]

Yeah, Britney Spears did. Yeah. She was scant in my mind. She doesn't have her own snake for this thing to. Oh, look, it's brethren.

[Tom]

What do you think the snakes are jealous of his snake?

[Christy]

Yeah, Snake on snake crime. We had an albino snake that my brother had that got out. Oh. And then no one ever found it. So it's like in the walls somewhere. And then the new owners came and I Was like, are we going to tell them about the snake that's growing in the walls? And they're like, no. Yeah.

[Tom]

That's not on the seller's disclosure form.

[Christy]

We get those stories all the time. It's usually in Australia and it'll be the apartment next door has a 25 foot deadly python or something slithering in the toilet. Oh, those are. Yeah, those are awful. When you guys lost the snake, how long did you look? Was it like a three day ordeal? I feel like it was like a week hunt. And then we were like, like, ah, it was a week. A week. Pause.

[Tom]

All right, you guys. I bet you didn't have any mice after that, though.

[Christy]

No. Yeah. No problems.

[Tom]

No mice.

[Christy]

You could hear it. Sometimes I feel like I would imagine the cold might have taken. Taken.

[Tom]

It depends on you. There are plenty of warm.

[Christy]

Has anybody seen the cat? How about the baby? I haven't heard from the baby. I have another question about this, this video and I, I asked this about a lot of these videos. Who's the guy while his buddy is screaming in pain with a snake attached to his groin? Who's the guy that manages to keep holding the camera? Oh, me. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if any of my friends or brothers bit in the groin by a snake, I'm.

[Tom]

Are you?

[Christy]

Absolutely. Yeah. Of course.

[Tom]

You guys are awful.

[Christy]

That's money. But, baby, if Christie, if a snake comes in here and bites me on the D. Yeah. And if you, If I look over and you're trying to help me and not videotaping, I'm furious with you. Really? Yeah. You're leaving money on the table. You got to document it. So then you can show the doctor the video later and you can show your friends and make fun of the person.

[Tom]

Okay. Is that going to make America's Funniest Home Video?

[Christy]

Well, maybe not the d. Oh, no. But in this case, he's wearing pants. But it's. It's clearly going through the jeans into that area.

[Tom]

Oh, my.

[Christy]

Was it a vest? Venomous snake.

[Tom]

Doesn't say what kind of snake it was.

[Christy]

One would hope not. It's. It's huge. It's got that going for it. Yeah. I think we have time for one more news story from Christy Lee.

[Tom]

A woman celebrating her 106th birthday says the key to longevity is chocolate.

[Christy]

Oh, really?

[Tom]

Edith Hill in Cygnus, England says her favorite chocolate bar is Cadbury Dairy Milk.

[Christy]

Well, the keto longevity for her probably, probably was not getting hit by a bomb during the blitzkrieg. That certainly there's. That I hid in the basement with all the chocolate. Yeah, I was down. I was down in the tube. I'll tell you what she did admit.

[Tom]

She will give any sweet treat a try though. Especially at Easter.

[Christy]

We always get these stories and it's always something different.

[Tom]

Yeah, it's either beer or.

[Christy]

The reason I live so long is because I killed most of my husbands quietly. That's why I stay away from men.

[Tom]

Now lives at the Aspen Lodged Care Home. The staff planning a special birthday celebration for her, including a double chocolate.

[Christy]

They burned me with cigarettes. Ma' am, we gotta help you. I long for the sweet release of one final sunset.

[Tom]

According to this, she said that not only is chocolate one of the secrets to a lot long life. She says being independent and partying and.

[Christy]

Getting on the ring. Audrey, do as we say, not as we do. By the way, you got to be careful on the radio. There's a lot of stuff you can't say just like wow. In England. That I'm of course referring to Spotted Dick, the dessert.

[Tom]

Very nice dessert.

[Christy]

Spotted Dick is a dessert here. Here in the. Here in the States it's a.

[Tom]

You find it in a can illness.

[Christy]

I think it's tertiary syphilis. I'll notice if you see in the pictures ever, she's holding two big chocolate bars but her mouth is closed. And all the shots of course because.

[Tom]

She'S in England, she's English and she has bad teeth.

[Christy]

Odds are there's probably not a lot of choppers in there that weren't important. A lot of choppers.

[Tom]

Yes. And a pop up store in Tokyo is letting customers pay to go into the store and shoplift.

[Christy]

I love this. Oh, this is fun.

[Tom]

Yes.

[Christy]

This is cool actually. So you can feel like you're doing something fun. Yeah.

[Tom]

Sora News 24 reports the shop called Toe, it's spelled T O H is drawing enough crowds to make four hour lines. Customers pay $6.60 to enter the shop where they have 60 seconds to snatch up any merchandise they like as quietly as they can.

[Christy]

Oh, I'd happily do this.

[Tom]

Decorated to resemble a type of black market, the store is outfitted with sensitive radio microphones. So if patrons make any excessive noise, their experience will end abruptly and they get nothing.

[Christy]

That's funny. See, so there's. There is something at stake. Yeah, yeah. Which I think is kind of funny.

[Tom]

There are thousands of items to steal, such as snacks, used books, clothing by Fruit of the Loom. Would that mean underwear, pillows and even mattresses. Can you imagine?

[Christy]

I was trying to steal. But the Interesting thing to me is if you try to keister something and get out. Yeah. There's an additional cleaning fee, which I think is. You don't get to keep it. Clean it and keep it. You're the one cleaning it. You've got a nice sleeve of Titleists there, sir. But we have some tongs and gloves, or we got to put it back in the show. Oh, my God. That's a really interesting. I wonder how that would work in the States. Do you think it would work? Yes, yes. It's a fun. That's a fun thing. But I think you should give people, like, 20 minutes and have, you know, guards walking around and.

[Tom]

But you have.

[Christy]

Well, that. Why. Why suck all the fun out of it? No, that's the fun part. You kind of sneak around. Oh, I see guards. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the guards could be fun. Yeah. If you could get caught, you know, it be really fun. What if they gave you a gun?

[Tom]

It's not the Purge, Willie.

[Christy]

The mattress is. Or Chicago. I just. I want to do an armed robbery, but I don't want to get in trouble, and I don't want to shoot anybody. I just want to hold it. And then I. At the end, I check it out, I check it back in, they go. Thank you, man. The problem with that is you might get shot. So 20 years. But what I really saying is this is a completely simulated thing, much like the shoplifting thing. Oh, right. Like, how much would you pay to be able to rob a bank, but it's all pretend. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's great. Yeah. I'd pay 350. $350. I would. People would do this. Yeah, I would pay. I would pay them 350 for $100 ATM transaction. Like, I just want.

[Tom]

I see what you're saying.

[Christy]

I want to go in there, hey, give me all the money. Bang, bang, bang. And then I just. I give him my PIN number. I just get 100 bucks, and then I'm out of there. I think that'd be fun. Audrey Stewart, have you ever shoplifted? Every girl I've ever met, a shoplifted. Well, I wish I could be the first to say no, but I. I did. I. When I was younger, the Blockbuster. Remember Blockbuster? The gumballs. I got some gumballs, like, in the pack, and I. I was like, start chewing it on the way out. And my mom's like, we didn't pay for those. And she was like, you need to go in there and apologize. And I was just like, I'm sorry for we'll wrap things up this morning. A segment about yachts for tots and crapping in a cooler. Oh, you got to stand by for that. It's next here on the Bob and Tom. The best of the Bob and Tom show here. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Let's wrap things up this morning with yachts for tots and crapping in a cooler. Now, earlier we were talking about helping rich people out because they kind of get the short end. Right. We're starting a charity called Yachts for Rich People. But then we thought, hey, let's start this even younger and, you know, pay it forward with the kids. So we came up with Yachts for tots. And they don't have to be rich. They can just be kids. That's right. As long as they get the yacht fever at an early age. They get the little sailor cap, like the captain's cap, like half war at the end. And one of those whistles, of course, whatever they do. Hey, Bob and Tom. I. I'm Andy and I'm the president of the Manhattan Yacht Club in Manhattan, Kansas. Oh, okay. I find Josh's attempt at humor rather off putting. Oh. Oh, boy. We are a refined people. I'm Michigan born, Colombian educated, and with summer homes in Deland. How dare you besmirch our prolific yacht club there. There was a misunderstanding here. I said I was taking on the role of one of the tots receiving a yacht. And I said, hey, I'm from Manhattan, Kansas. I was trying to think of the most landlocked area. It's a pretty landlocked area, but apparently I'm wrong. There's a yacht club there. Right? Because I was just saying, nothing sadder than a large yacht in a small pond. Nothing sadder. That's exactly what we did. Oh, sure, there are landmines the kids have to walk through, but. But really the most poignant sad is large boat on a small pond. There used to be a very, very small. It's not really even a lake. You know what I'm talking about?

[Tom]

I don't know. Go on.

[Christy]

There was a very large vessel. Vessel on it that quite literally couldn't start up and move.

[Tom]

Right.

[Christy]

They finally get. They moved it. It was embarrassing.

[Tom]

I remember seeing a cigarette boat. You know those real high speed boats on like a lake.

[Christy]

Yeah, I know. What are you doing? This wasn't a lake. It was really a pond. Yeah. I was like, what? What are they doing? How would you get it launched, if you will? How would you get that into the Water crane. I think it was very. It was really silly. Right, let's. Let's move forward. Here we have Christy Lee at the Silac insurance news desk. What have we missed?

[Tom]

A Pennsylvania woman has been arrested for allegedly defecating in a convenience store beer cooler.

[Christy]

Oh, well, you gotta go, you gotta go. Haven't we all? Yep.

[Tom]

An employee at Royal Farms location in Hanover, Pennsylvania, they say. Do you know where that is?

[Christy]

That's where the. 10 minutes from where I grew up.

[Tom]

Oh, really?

[Christy]

That's where the pretzels are.

[Tom]

The unknown woman had come in the previous day and defecated in the beer cave. Store security footage showed the suspect pushing a case of alcoholic beverages back on the shelf.

[Christy]

No, honey, I said take some Schlitz. This dog's for you.

[Tom]

Pulling her pants down and defecating on the shelves, then leaving.

[Christy]

Keep it from spoiling. What kind of sick.

[Tom]

Wait till you hear.

[Christy]

Don't they have a restroom there?

[Tom]

The woman identified as 47 year old Crystal, Crystal Gauss is the director of food and nutrition for a local school district.

[Christy]

Okay. Something.

[Tom]

And she was arrested on multiple charges including open lewdness, disorderly conduct and something that created a hazardous and physically offensive condition.

[Christy]

Yeah, there's got to be something else. What about drunk in public?

[Tom]

It doesn't say that she was drunk.

[Christy]

This must be some kind of revenge thing. You don't think it could have just been an emergency? An emergency? No. I would go in my pants first. Really? Yes. Well, that's disgusting. To clear the shelves. I mean.

[Tom]

Yeah, you gotta want it in an emergency.

[Christy]

I think you would just drop and squat. You wouldn't go. Well, maybe the shelf was ass height.

[Tom]

Oh, that's true.

[Christy]

Oh, there you go. Yeah. What? Yeah, that would. That would make sense. I don't want to be. I don't want to be with you during the. An emergency. Wait a second. Give me something aside. Go over there. It's. It's ass hide. I don't think I could do. Come here, son. I don't think I could do that anywhere but you know, in a toilet.

[Tom]

I know. I'm with you.

[Christy]

Oh, emergencies are emergencies. You guys know that I've. I've. In the lake. In the lake. Yeah, but if it's a. If it's a convenience store, they're undoubtedly going to have a couple of different restrooms.

[Tom]

Of course they would.

[Christy]

Is it possible because you did that in the lake that that's the only way now that you can have a satisfied. So you have to get and. Or at least live Next to why.

[Tom]

You fish all the time? Come on.

[Christy]

Just pooping. All right. And you keep. And you keep falling down. He does fall down a lot. Okay. Oh, I'll follow. Man, I'm a clumsy man. Slow fall, too. Oh, it's. It's excruciatingly slow.

[Tom]

A Missouri man who crashed his truck into and go store blames the incident on his Crocs.

[Christy]

Oh, I. I believe this. Sure. I do too.

[Tom]

I do too. If you drive with flip flops on, it's the same situation. Security footage showed the 60 year old Dale Hammett hitting the Springfield store and fleeing. He returned twice in the same truck, but didn't admit that he was the driver. Later he told police his Crocs got stuck on the pedal, causing him to accelerate into the building. He panicked and fled.

[Christy]

That seems right.

[Tom]

He was arrested and charged with leaving the scene of an accident and caused about 3,700, $100 in damage.

[Christy]

Yeah, I. I totally get this. Yeah, your shoes get.

[Tom]

Yeah, but would you flee the scene? You would just admit it.

[Christy]

Oh, right. Yeah. No.

[Tom]

Why would you?

[Christy]

Well, leave. Maybe he came. What? That's a fascinating theory. It was a common go. But his. His. Oh, he had an organ. Came and went. No, I'm. No. No. You know, turns out me. There's a movie about that ramming into buildings. It's called Crash. Yeah, not the. Not the Oscar winner, the other one. Right. What? Yeah, it's about people who are sexually turned on by automobile accidents being in them. And I had no idea. I apologize. It's a tough movie. It's not great. Okay, what's. His face is in it. That girl, the weirdo. Elias Cotes. Yes. Not a porn. No. Oh, okay. No. So this guy was charged with a crime.

[Tom]

Yes.

[Christy]

Because. Only because he fled, though.

[Tom]

Yes.

[Christy]

So if he stayed there, it would have been all right.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Christy]

He might have to pay a fine.

[Tom]

Insurance might have to cover it, but.

[Christy]

You know, I mean, wearing Crocs is a fashion crime, I think. Oh, really? They're really popular, man.

[Tom]

Very comfortable.

[Christy]

I thought in some states it is illegal to drive in flip flops. It should be. Yeah. It's not a safe thing to do. I've always heard illegal and bare feet. Right.

[Tom]

That's what I've heard too. Yeah.

[Christy]

Yeah. Pat, are you a Crocs guy? I am indeed. I will wear them to take the dog out. Yeah? Yeah. They're not bad. No, they're plastic. They clean well. My son likes them. All the kids wear the Crocs. Yeah. They are forced to wear socks with them at school. But they wear them different colors. My brother, my older brother and I over the weekend. You mean different color kids at his school? Yeah. What? Try to play along. Josh, what were you saying about you and your brother? We were talking about how kids dress these days. And I go, I, I never thought we'd be these dudes, man, complaining about what the youth is wearing. And boy, crocs, long socks, shorts, the shortest shorts. Boy, we would have got our asses kicked if we looked right. Yeah, five inch inseam for men's shorts is the style. Right? But he goes, My brother goes, but kids are just slobs now. Oh yeah, it's a totally different thing. There are no JE anymore or regular shirts, sweatpants, shorts, comfort. But I go, let's just stop being these guys. Let's just accept whatever's going on and stop. He's like, yeah, yeah, well we need to do that. Your damn hair is getting long. Right? Hey, short shorts, get off my lawn. I've never cared about what the kids and the clothes except the ones that the pants are, you know, falling off of. I've never gotten that. Oh yeah. Is that still a thing? Sure it is. I think so. Having your pants. Pants fall off is still a thing. It's not a comfortable, low riding or whatever they call it. I don't know what it, what it is, but yeah. A Utah woman say probable cause. Yes, you would.

[Tom]

Yeah you would.

[Christy]

Yeah you would. That's, that's true.

[Tom]

A Utah woman accused of leading police on a high speed pursuit allegedly called AAA after officers spiked her tire.

[Christy]

Well, you know, be a good ad for them. Hey, have you been chased by. How am I going to fix.

[Tom]

According to an affidavit, Utah highway patrol officer spotted the woman going 120mph on i70. Tried to pull her over, but she refused.

[Christy]

I had a buddy who did that, but he called double A.

[Tom]

Following a chase, troopers managed to take out the car's left tire with spikes. The woman would not get out of her car and about 40 minutes into the standoff, the driver called AAA to get her tire.

[Christy]

Hey, Spike. Yeah, Spike.

[Tom]

The company transferred the call to the police who transferred it to the troopers who were at the scene. At which point the woman was talked into exiting her vehicle. The 45 year old was then booked into the county jail.

[Christy]

120. Yeah, that's fast. Pretty fast. While she was. Then she was sitting in the car you said for.

[Tom]

Yeah, she was sitting there surrounded by police and calls AAA thinking they're gonna come fix her tire and she could drive.

[Christy]

I can't get out of the car, officer. I've got doordash on the way. Ye. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Jim Rome takes on sports. Why? Because you're not playing me with rapid fire. Takes ain't a lot to get to. And I'm not sure you're gonna like all of it. Honestly, I don't even care if you like all of it or not. I have a job to do. Scorching debates. On any given week, you have lots to beef about. Take advantage of a get up in here. He's the spitfire of sports. Smack. She's not my fault. We will get to all of that. The Jim Rome show podcast. Get up in here and we'll beef later on. Quote your beef. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. You've been warned.