The BOB & TOM Show - July 7, 2025

Summary

Podcast Summary: The BOB & TOM Show – July 7, 2025

Hosts: The BOB & TOM Show, Chick McGee, Pat Godwin, Willie Griswold, Ace Cosby
Guest: Comedian and Firefighter Dave Dyer
Location: O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios
Duration: Approximately 2 hours and 85 minutes

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1. Opening Conversations and Travel Anecdotes

The show kicks off with the hosts sharing personal experiences from recent travels. Tom discusses his trip to London over the Fourth of July weekend, highlighting both enjoyable moments and peculiar incidents.

• Tom (05:13): “I was in London for the 4th of July weekend. You were absolutely incredible. Had a great time. But I do have one odd story.”

2. The Philadelphia TSA Incident

A significant portion of the episode revolves around Tom’s frustrating encounter with TSA agents at Philadelphia Airport. He recounts walking into a men’s restroom where he noticed a man sitting “side saddle” on the toilet, sparking humorous yet baffling discussions among the hosts.

• Tom (05:52): “I walk into the men's room and... I see a guy sitting side saddle on the toilet.”
• Willie Griswold (07:05): “Maybe this person was just so used to sitting side saddle in their bad apartments that now in public they have to do this.”
• Chick McGee (08:30): “Tom, come on. You meant to look.”

The group humorously speculates on the man’s unusual posture, suggesting everything from physical constraints to secret codes, but ultimately agrees it was an odd sight.

3. Guest Segment: Comedian and Firefighter Dave Dyer

Dave Dyer joins the show to discuss his dual roles as a comedian and firefighter. He shares insights into his routine, including his participation in charity events like the "Stop, Drop, and Laugh" fundraiser at the Reese Theater in Plymouth, Indiana.

• Dave Dyer (84:07): “One of the best things that's ever happened in my life is talking to first-grade kids about fire safety.”

The conversation flows into humorous exchanges about firefighting techniques, tattoo stories, and the challenges of balancing his two professions.

4. Music and Entertainment Updates

The hosts transition to discussing major music events from the weekend, focusing on Ozzy Osbourne's final performance and Oasis reuniting for a tour.

• Josh Arnold (149:00): “Ozzy Osbourne gave his final live performance at a hometown show for 40,000 fans.”
• Tom (149:10): “They walked up holding hands, which was very sweet.”

The discussion highlights Ozzy’s battle with Parkinson’s and the emotional significance of his last performance with original Black Sabbath members. Additionally, the reunion of Oasis in Cardiff, Wales, marks a nostalgic moment for fans.

5. Hot Dog Eating Contest Highlights

The show covers updates from Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contest, celebrating Joey Chestnut's impressive victory.

• Tom (49:30): “Joey Chestnut reclaimed his title as Nathan's famous Fourth of July hot dog eating contest. Organized gluttony.”
• Willie Griswold (50:21): “He's killing the competition.”

Joey consumes 70½ hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes, securing his 17th mustard belt. The hosts humorously debate the caloric intake and physical toll of such feats.

6. Chuck E. Cheese’s New Adult Arcade

An intriguing segment discusses Chuck E. Cheese’s latest venture, “Chuck’s Arcade,” aimed at adults. The hosts speculate on its features, comparing it to existing adult-oriented entertainment venues like Dave & Buster’s.

• Chick McGee (118:36): “Raycon's Everyday Earbuds... You can enjoy premium audio wherever you go.”

The conversation includes speculations about potential features, such as returning animatronic bands and expanded game offerings, blending nostalgia with modern gaming trends.

7. Bizarre Medical Stories

Tom shares shocking medical news about an unusual case where a man had a live eel removed from his abdomen, sparking a mix of horror and humor among the hosts.

• Josh Arnold (130:04): “Do you think they sterilize those bins?”
• Tom (134:03): “Man puts eel and butt to relieve constipation.”

The discussion delves into cultural practices and the lengths some might go to alleviate medical issues, all while maintaining the show’s signature comedic tone.

8. Fire Safety and Community Engagement

Dave Dyer emphasizes the importance of fire safety education, recounting his experiences teaching first-grade students and the rewarding moments that come with it.

• Dave Dyer (141:15): “One of the best things that's ever happened in my life is talking to first-grade kids about fire safety.”

The segment highlights community outreach and the vital role firefighters play beyond battling fires, fostering a sense of responsibility and care for public well-being.

9. Tattoo and Personal Stories

The hosts engage in a lighthearted discussion about tattoos, their meanings, and personal stories behind them. Dave reveals his own tattoos and the intentions (or lack thereof) behind their designs.

• Dave Dyer (126:27): “This one right here is an arrow. In the shaft of the arrow says forward.”
• Tom (141:35): “He was a big, Fatty... fed up of it.”

The conversation merges humor with genuine reflections on personal expression and the permanence of tattoos, resonating with listeners who appreciate candid storytelling.

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Conclusion

The July 7, 2025, episode of The BOB & TOM Show offers a blend of humorous banter, personal anecdotes, insightful discussions, and engaging updates on music and entertainment. From Tom's bewildering TSA experience to Dave Dyer's heartfelt community efforts, the hosts maintain their characteristic blend of comedy and relatability. Listeners are treated to a rich tapestry of stories that entertain while occasionally provoking thought, all encapsulated within the lively atmosphere of the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios.

Notable Quotes:

• Tom (05:14): “But I do have one odd story.”
• Willie Griswold (07:05): “Maybe this person was just so used to sitting side saddle in their bad apartments that now in public they have to do this.”
• Dave Dyer (141:15): “One of the best things that's ever happened in my life is talking to first-grade kids about fire safety.”
• Tom (49:30): “Joey Chestnut reclaimed his title as Nathan's famous Fourth of July hot dog eating contest. Organized gluttony.”
• Chick McGee (118:36): “Raycon's Everyday Earbuds... You can enjoy premium audio wherever you go.”

---

Note: Timestamps correspond to the transcript provided and are indicative of where the notable quotes and discussions occur within the episode.

Transcript

[Tom]

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[Josh]

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[Tom]

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[Chick]

It'S the Bob and Tom Show. King Chuck.

[Pat]

Charles was a young prince he never thought he'd be king finally ruling England at the age of 73 King Chuck the Queen was his mama Lucky Chuck she used the Oxford comma Born in the royal palace Hands never callous King Chuck now that his mama's gone I hope he doesn't fail what exactly did he do as the fancy Prince of Wales? King Chuck his teeth and ears look big and funny.

[Willie]

Will they fit on.

[Pat]

Stamps and money or if the royal palace hands never callous King Chuck.

[Willie]

The.

[Pat]

Queen she had her corgis Prince Andrew had his orgies he's wild that brother and King Chuck on Epstein Island Duke got reign dad Prince Harry moved from good out to Hollywood King Chuck Charles loves the polo ponies and dressing up for ceremony he wears a kilt Please don't stare he's not wearing underwear finally gets to rule cause he's got the family jewels King Chump he married Diana they had a castle and a villa but all the time he dreamed about the homely one Camilla couldn't wait to get his hands on Corny Chuck oh no. Said he'd like to be her tampon Royal palace has the royal palace he's so old it won't be long have to write another song King.

[Chick]

Hello agitator What? What's your favorite potato? Tom that's right. Agitator welcome. Hello to the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom]

I was gonna say French fries, but.

[Chick]

I like French fries.

[Tom]

What's wrong with maybe Mashed.

[Chick]

What's wrong with steak fries?

[Tom]

As Bob would say, too much potato.

[Chick]

Way too much.

[Tom]

And I entirely agree he's not wrong.

[Chick]

Christy Lee. At the Silac Insurance news desk, there's Pat Godwin.

[Pat]

Hello.

[Chick]

He's full of it. There's Willie Griswold.

[Willie]

Hey, man, good to see you.

[Chick]

Over there, for Josh Arnold, who has finally quit, I. There's Ace. I'm a chick. And here's Tom. Hello. So today we're going to look back on Josh Arnold and celebrate him and wish him. Wish him well.

[Pat]

Eight years.

[Chick]

What a run.

[Willie]

I have a feeling not if, but when Josh quits, he's going to make it very well known. I think he's going to have a lot of fun on air.

[Tom]

I'll do it on social media, too. The question is, where is he going to drop the deuce? My desk.

[Chick]

Remember when Homer quit the nuclear One of the episodes, he went into Mr. Burns desk, told him he quit, and he went out, got in his car, drove across the bridge and threw dynamite out and blew up the bridge. I guess he burned his bridge there.

[Tom]

Symbolic. Really?

[Chick]

Exactly. Yeah, exactly.

[Tom]

Oh, it's great to be back in the United States of America.

[Chick]

Yes, Tom. Boy, are your arms tired, right?

[Tom]

Long weekend, but they're brutal. It's amazing the world we live in. I mean, I know it's obvious, but it's just amazing. I was in London for the 4th of July weekend.

[Chick]

Sure.

[Tom]

You were absolutely incredible. Had a great time. I'll tell you about it. But I do have one odd story. Pat, you're from the Philadelphia area.

[Pat]

I am indeed.

[Tom]

Live there for many, many years. I flew American Airlines. They were fantastic. They were wonderful. Everything was great. But apparently Philly's one of their big hubs. I guess I flew back. I flew back through Philadelphia, which was great, but I. I get to the airport, and if you. When you fly internationally, typically you. You. You go and you get your bag, if you have one, and then you have to go back into security.

[Chick]

Mm.

[Tom]

Apparently, the people that work TSA in Philadelphia are very unhappy. Wow. What an unpleasant bunch. They are. But that isn't the story.

[Josh]

Oh.

[Tom]

So walk into the men's room.

[Chick]

All right.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Tom]

And you know, the doors in the stalls, they leave about a foot, so you can kind of. I walk in, and I see a guy sitting side saddle on the toilet.

[Chick]

Ah.

[Tom]

So I don't know.

[Chick]

I don't think that's proper etiquette to.

[Josh]

Be looking at somebody else's stall.

[Chick]

I peep into the stall.

[Tom]

I'M I'm just. I'm just walking in. I'm going to the urinal area. I'm walking in, I look and I notice.

[Chick]

So your eye is drawn to the.

[Tom]

Gap in the door this guy's wearing. They were. They were fairly bright athletic shoes and they were this way. So the guy is sitting sideways on the toilet.

[Chick]

Well, maybe that's the way he does it.

[Pat]

Philly style.

[Tom]

Is that. Is that. Is that what that is? Is there something I haven't been told? I've Philadelphia many times. It's a beautiful place.

[Josh]

Maybe the crack in his butt goes the other way.

[Willie]

You don't never know. Yeah, you never know.

[Tom]

Oh, is he suffering from side crack on that?

[Willie]

I'm just kind of a bigger guy. I got long knees and I'm way about 250. I've lived in two apartments where the bathroom was so small I had to sit sidesaddle.

[Josh]

There you go. So maybe his knees hit the door.

[Willie]

Maybe this person was just so used to sitting side saddle in their bad apartments that now in public they have to do this.

[Tom]

But that kind of thing freaks me out. So then I went to the farthest urinal, quickly peed and then left.

[Willie]

Did you think it was some weird pickup thing?

[Tom]

All I could think of. Ye chick, you'll. Maybe you can help me here. Who was the guy, who was the politician? And he famously had a wide stance. Claimed he had. Yeah, he claimed he had a quote, wide stance. And apparently he was trying to pick up boys or something. And they had the number. Boys.

[Chick]

They had the number of the stall. Like it was like M39 or something. And people were going and checking it out, I guess.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Chick]

Getting their picture taken.

[Willie]

Taking a picture like it's the house from breaking.

[Chick]

Yeah, yeah, same thing.

[Tom]

Hey, here I am at the stall. You know, the stall tourist. If anyone has an explanation. Willie, you could be right.

[Willie]

I mean, I don't know. I was kind of just being silly in the moment, but yeah, maybe you get used to something. Maybe he had a really bad sort of explosive situation and you know, they have the bar in the handicap stalls. Maybe he was grabbing on.

[Tom]

Maybe that could be. I don't know. I just. It just. I looked down. I didn't mean to look. I just walked in and. Oh, that's weird.

[Chick]

Tom, come on. You meant to look.

[Tom]

No, I didn't. I just.

[Chick]

Is that your thing? Is that what you get off on? You go into strange restrooms?

[Tom]

Maybe it's just the international things. Remember I told you my story of in the Toronto Airport, where I walked in the men's room and there was a guy with his pants down on the floor, standing and urinating like a. You know, like a four year old boy would do.

[Chick]

You mean like I do. Only I. I have the good sense to go in a stall so they can't see that my pants are down around my ankles.

[Tom]

I mean, I walk in and there I'm looking at, you know, some. Well, I would just say some guy's ass. I won't go into any shading.

[Josh]

It was Larry Craig that was arrested.

[Tom]

Okay, I forgot about it.

[Chick]

That doesn't sound right.

[Josh]

It doesn't sound right, does it?

[Chick]

I guess Google don't lie.

[Tom]

Anyway, had a great time in the uk.

[Josh]

You see your sister?

[Tom]

I saw my sister, Andy. She's doing.

[Chick]

When did you find. When did Jan realize you had left her home? Because she would be talking.

[Josh]

I love you, Jan. Don't listen.

[Tom]

Got a nice dog, A girl dog named Charlie. It was, it was, it was really nice.

[Chick]

I've told the kid you, if you have a baby, it's got to be Charlie. Gotta be man. Boy or girl. Preferably a girl Charlie.

[Tom]

This was a dog Charlie.

[Chick]

Well, Tom, you're talking about London. Hi, Tom, this is from Graham. Ah, just a quick hello for me. Graham, Tom. We met at the Hyde Park British summertime show. It was great to meet you and I hope you and your family had a great time. Oh, do you remember, by the way.

[Pat]

Do you remember meeting Graham?

[Tom]

Yeah, I do, I do.

[Chick]

He's not done. Remember we were talking about fantastic cars. I drive an Aston Martin dbx.

[Tom]

Oh my gosh.

[Chick]

And it's Aston Martin racing green.

[Tom]

Oh, nice.

[Chick]

What do you think, Tom?

[Tom]

Wow, Very nice.

[Chick]

You, you, you, you, you elitist. Even over 6 find each other wherever you go.

[Pat]

He recogn.

[Tom]

We were.

[Chick]

We were. He smelled your elitism.

[Willie]

Did he know about the show or did you give him the email and.

[Pat]

See he has a Bob and Tom hat on?

[Tom]

No, no, we were about. Yeah, Brexit, actually. We're talking about Formula One.

[Pat]

Oh, that's good for babies.

[Tom]

Not. And by the way, the movie Silverstone was that weekend.

[Josh]

Did you go?

[Tom]

Yeah, the movie. No, I was, I went. I did other things, but the movie was prom. Yeah, there were people that were there for Wimbledon. There were people that were there for something at Wembley. There were something called bst. Hyde park, which is where I went.

[Chick]

Bts, that's mom and Tom show.

[Tom]

Huge, huge. Concerts. High, huge. I mean, look like Woodstock five nights in a row.

[Josh]

So Graham Was just sitting there. And you just started talking to the guy or did you know him or.

[Tom]

Yeah, we were. No, we were just talking.

[Willie]

I mean, that part's not that odd. On the craziest part about the airport story where he saw the guy pooping sideways. I'm just shocked that he didn't check in with him right there. Hey, excuse me, sir. Why are you sitting this way?

[Tom]

Oh, no, I'm sure it was some weirdo.

[Pat]

Weirdo?

[Chick]

Oh, there. There's no doubt he was a weirdo. Absolutely.

[Tom]

I've never. I've seen a lot in my life. I've been around the block a time or two. The guy was sitting side saddle.

[Josh]

Well, you don't know.

[Pat]

He may have been large. Right, Willie?

[Willie]

He could have been a big guy.

[Josh]

Maybe he had a cyst on his butt or something. He couldn't sit the regular one.

[Chick]

Did you think he might have. He might have had a boil. Okay.

[Tom]

So wait a minute.

[Chick]

So you're saying cheek.

[Tom]

So you're saying if he sits sideways.

[Josh]

If it's on the. Right. On the crack part.

[Tom]

Oh, and I didn't look to see if it was a full.

[Chick]

Wait a minute. Hold it.

[Tom]

Let's wait a minute. No. Did I send you. Chick, Did I send you the picture of the square toilet?

[Chick]

Yes, you did. I loved it.

[Tom]

My hotel.

[Chick]

The toilet seat looks like a Wendy's hamburger.

[Josh]

Are you serious?

[Chick]

Square.

[Tom]

I will. I'm not kidding.

[Pat]

Square.

[Chick]

Yes, square. Square.

[Tom]

Square. They. They drive on the other side of the street and the toilets are square?

[Chick]

Yep.

[Pat]

That's crazy.

[Tom]

We can.

[Chick]

You know what? And I saw that picture. I thought, they're up to something over there. They drive on the wrong side of the road. They have square toilets. Something's going on.

[Tom]

Yeah. I think it's one of those things where design takes over. What is it? Form should follow function. I think this is function. Yeah. All form and no functions. A square toilet seat. Yeah, I ran into a couple of those. Well, we'll get to the. For the fun times we had. Willie, how was Cincinnati over the weekend.

[Willie]

Man, Cincy was great. Thank you, guys. Folks that came out to the shows, it was awesome. There's nothing. There's no punishment like doing comedy on fourth of July in the Midwest. There's not in Cincinnati. There's so much to do on a beautiful summer day. Summer night. There's Reds games. You can go to concerts, backyard barbecues, the pool. And folks came out to hang out with me and Al Jackson and this guy Dusty. I forgot his last name. He was the Host. But it was just killer, man. It was so fun. I had a blast.

[Tom]

Oh, good.

[Chick]

Oh, Dusty Booty.

[Willie]

It was not Dusty Booty, but I genuinely. I got such a kick out of that. It took me by surprise. I'm laughing right now.

[Chick]

It's gonna be Dusty Booty.

[Tom]

That'd be one awful porn name. I'm assume that would be.

[Chick]

Well, for mature audience. A very old woman. Yeah. Dusty Booty.

[Tom]

Is there such a thing as great granny?

[Chick]

Don't they have. There's a go to old guy, right? Isn't there like a golden.

[Josh]

Like a porn old?

[Chick]

Yeah, he's like 65, 70.

[Tom]

And is this the equivalent of the Golden Bachelor?

[Chick]

I think so.

[Tom]

The golden porno star.

[Chick]

Yeah. And he. He evidently brings it.

[Willie]

I guess he was like a NASCAR shirt with a big Viagra on the back. Lets everybody know why he's there, how he's doing it.

[Tom]

That probably is not a bad idea.

[Josh]

No.

[Tom]

Yeah. By the way, I've mentioned this before. It always bugs me whenever they talk about stuff. They always mention porn star.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

What about the. What about the regular. The working actors of the porn world? They don't get the. You know what I'm saying? They're all so and so.

[Josh]

They're all stars.

[Tom]

Yeah, they're on porn stars. I mean, what. You know, they're. There are very fine working actors in this world.

[Willie]

I think a lot of people online, and I know you're not familiar with this, dad, but a lot of people online are pretty into the amateur stuff nowadays, so.

[Josh]

Really?

[Willie]

Your point? I think you were just being silly when you said it, but there's some. Some truth to it. A lot of the amateurs are really rising now with things like only fansly.

[Chick]

Who had the. What comedian had the. Thank goodness for amateur porn. I learned how to spell amateur. Remember that? Ama. And then I'm lost.

[Josh]

When do you make the big crossover from amateur to porn star?

[Chick]

I don't know. Your first check, I think.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Chick]

Depends on how much money you make. I think $3,000 and up is your pro.

[Tom]

I learned how to spell epilogue watching the Fugitive.

[Chick]

I learned FBI, they also had an epilogue.

[Tom]

The Fugitive. The Fugitive. Yeah. There you go.

[Chick]

There you go. There you go. They're waiting for it. Well, I got it. I gotta take care of this fugitive. They are waiting for it.

[Pat]

The people have been waiting 10 minutes.

[Chick]

Jake.

[Willie]

We gotta get the Fugitive.

[Chick]

You know, I heard that on my Raycon everyday earbuds. Did you know that?

[Tom]

I bet it sounded great with all those horns.

[Chick]

Oh, my gosh, Big horns. Raycon's everyday earbuds, the latest model, better than ever. 32 hour battery life, multi point connectivity. You compare two devices at once and Raycon's quick charge function. Just 10 minutes of charging and you get 90 minutes of battery. And Raycon also has that active noise cancellation, not something you'll find at this price point.

[Tom]

Raycon has it and by the way, great for traveling. And if I could interrupt for one second, don't forget the Raycon full headphones for the kids. They're gonna, you're gonna thank me. They're in the backseat of the car watching whatever it is they're watching and you're enjoying peace and quiet. Back to you.

[Chick]

Raycon offers a 30 day happiness guarantee return policy. All you have to do to get a swell deal and swell Raycon headphones go to buyraycon.com tom and get 15% off Raycon's best selling everyday earbuds. Right Now Raycon offering 15% off their best selling everyday earbuds, but [e-mail] Tom that's buyraycon.com Tom.

[Tom]

Thank you very much. Coming up, lots of interesting things going on in the world of news and sports. Oh, yeah, we got a Joey Chestnut update, we got an Ozzy Osbourne update, an Oasis update, a Chuck E. Cheese update.

[Josh]

Did you see Ozzy while you were in London?

[Tom]

No, that was, he was up in Birmingham. Oh.

[Chick]

But excruciatingly sad.

[Tom]

Yeah, we'll find out.

[Willie]

It was, it was cool that he got to go out one last time, but man, it's not.

[Chick]

But did he go out or was he placed?

[Tom]

Yeah, oh, it was my cab driver.

[Chick]

Oh.

[Tom]

Talked about it a lot.

[Josh]

Did he really?

[Tom]

On the way to the airport yesterday.

[Chick]

That's what you get when you.

[Tom]

No, no, we had a nice chat. But all these things are coming up and they're coming from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios where this remains the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee, Pat Godwin, Willie Griswold, Ace Cosby. I'm Chick mcgee. We're in the o'reilly Auto Parts Studios. Think o'reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts of service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Hello. Tom on keyboards.

[Josh]

Mom, are you on London time? Are you still.

[Tom]

No, not really. I mean I was, I was only over there for three days.

[Josh]

Yeah, you could have stayed longer. You're allowed.

[Chick]

No, that's the only way to do it. Really?

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Chick]

Make your vacation More hectic than your normal life?

[Pat]

Yeah, just travel, travel, travel.

[Tom]

I didn't have to fly the plane. It was quite relaxing.

[Chick]

I really sleep on a plane pretty well. It's. It's real strange once you get. Once you get sleeping on the plane down you. It's. That's 75% of the battle.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Tom]

If. Yeah. On the way there. So you, you leave in the early evening and you arrive there and it's morning. Right. So it's. What is it? Yeah, it was fine. It was, it was good. Had a nice time.

[Chick]

Did you have shrimp and. Shrimp? Shrimp, shrimp, Fish and chips?

[Tom]

Shrimp.

[Chick]

Did you have mushy peas?

[Tom]

I did not have any mushrooms.

[Chick]

Did you have sticky toffee pudding?

[Tom]

Not have sticky toffee pudding.

[Pat]

Did you have a good meal? Good English meal?

[Willie]

The only picture from a restaurant they sent us was they went to get coffee.

[Josh]

That was it.

[Willie]

That was it. Yeah, that I saw.

[Tom]

Oh, I forgot. Yeah, I did. I, you know something? I forgot about it now. I had, I did get fish and chips.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

And the fish. And the fish had a. Had a head with a lot of teeth and the tail.

[Chick]

Yeah, you sent me that.

[Tom]

It's.

[Chick]

That was terrifying.

[Tom]

Yeah, it was a big teeth. Was like a 8 inch, 10 inch long fish and it was. And curled around and it was biting its own tail. Yeah, that's true. With its tail and its mouth chomped down on it. I forgot about it.

[Pat]

Was it tasty?

[Tom]

It was good. A lot of bones. Gotta eat around the bones.

[Chick]

Dim bones.

[Tom]

Yeah. And of course you can't. Not even the English can ruin a French fry. It was delightful.

[Chick]

Did you see Olivia Colman or Nicola Walker or Idris Elba, maybe Jenny, I got her. Or any of those big time British stars?

[Tom]

No, I saw Dame Judy.

[Pat]

You see any Dame Judy?

[Josh]

Dame Judy Dengs?

[Tom]

No, I saw a bunch of great American singers.

[Chick]

Did you see any of them damn dames? No.

[Josh]

Great American singers. Like Oasis. Did you go to the Oasis?

[Tom]

No, they're not American. I saw Gracie Abrams, who's terrific.

[Willie]

She's great.

[Chick]

Very good.

[Tom]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, tremendous. And then I saw, let's see, Noah Khan, who is tremendous. You can tell he kind of came up from the clubs because he, he and he was. They were both so happy to be there. They were so. He. But he was talking to the audience like it was a nightclub and I don't. It was in Hyde Park. The sound guys, amazing sound. You could. It was just. He could chat to the audience and you could hear every word he said.

[Chick]

So this Comedian, fresh faced, full of optimism and ready to go. Huh?

[Tom]

Comedian.

[Chick]

Yeah, I thought.

[Josh]

Yeah, he's a musician.

[Chick]

Oh.

[Tom]

Oh, sorry if I said comedian. Yeah, I thought you said comedian. He's very funny, though. Very funny guy. He's great and I've heard of him.

[Josh]

I guess I better.

[Willie]

His most popular song is called Stick Season, I think. Yes.

[Tom]

Thank you.

[Pat]

He's got a song called Home Sick, Dial Drunk.

[Willie]

He's killer, man.

[Tom]

Dial Drunk. Dial Drunk is huge. Season of the Sticks, I believe is number one in the world.

[Pat]

Yeah, it's a great song.

[Josh]

I don't listen to pop music much anymore. Kids are gone, Bob. Burlington Coat Factory. Love that.

[Chick]

Oh, so this was. So the little girls, they liked. Yeah, no, that's their.

[Tom]

And I went to see. I'd never even. I honestly, I'd never heard of her. What's her name? I don't know. Sabrina Carpenter.

[Josh]

Oh, my God, she's huge. Now I've heard of her.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Did you go to the alternative part of Hyde Park?

[Tom]

What's that?

[Pat]

Hyde Park. I'll be. I'll be behind the tree. No, I love that.

[Tom]

Jeff. No, there were. I. It was anything. It was just. It was just me and a hundred thousand people table. It was huge. I'd been there before to a concert. I saw the Great Humble Pie with Peter Frampton and Grand Funk Railroad when I was in high school there.

[Chick]

What was the portalette situation? How was that?

[Tom]

Oh, they were those.

[Chick]

That's how you judge a outdoor concert there.

[Tom]

It's. They're all the. They're like the giant trailers. They're cleaner than this building.

[Chick]

Like six, six, seven holders.

[Tom]

Oh, no, like 40.

[Chick]

40 holders.

[Tom]

Yeah, it's a. They're huge trailers.

[Chick]

Never heard of such a thing.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Chick]

Wow.

[Tom]

It was great.

[Chick]

All right.

[Tom]

Really, really well done. They have big screens the size of.

[Chick]

Of football field.

[Tom]

Of outdoor movie theaters back in. Of drive in theaters back in the day. They've got, you know, five of them.

[Chick]

Did you go to Harrods?

[Pat]

You got to go to Harrods.

[Tom]

I did not do any shopping.

[Chick]

Well, then you didn't know.

[Tom]

Not buy anything. Much to the dismay, apparently, of the coming back to America. And as an. As an American can be. Really? Yeah. They were really pissing.

[Chick]

If I've done a lot of tsa, I see you coming at me. I'm thinking, nobody can be this white and safe. This guy is up to something. That's what I'm thinking.

[Pat]

We're at war with them. Don't remember.

[Tom]

You know, the English were fine. They still, they were great coming back to America. Both the customs guy was a. Was pissy and the. And the TSA lady was a total bitch in Philadelphia.

[Chick]

Well, me, my buddy Maury and I went to Canada. I told you that. We went into Canada, and Maury said, this is this guy's first visit to Canada. And the Canadian border guards goes, what's the matter? Don't you like us? And that. And then we went back to the usa, and he couldn't have been pissier. It was just a jerk, huh? What'd you do? Yeah, you didn't catch any fish, huh? Well, I better check anyway. Open your trunk.

[Tom]

Why'd you go to England? I said, well, I was trying to foment revolution and have the English take over our country. Maybe it's 250 years too late, sir.

[Josh]

But I asked you that. Why'd you go to London?

[Tom]

Yeah, why'd you go to England? Real pissy.

[Willie]

I mean, they're working hard, they got a tough job. It's.

[Tom]

And then when I got up there, there's one person going, go to anyone with a green light. Walk up and with the green light, no, don't come here. You got a giant green light, you incredible ass. So I go to the next guy, I'm like, what the hell? Wasn't even crowded and they were being dicks. But the woman at ts, the tsa, they've got to start posting the rules. I get up there, everything has to go in your. Everything has to go in your suitcase, Tom.

[Chick]

It's Thunderdome. There are no rules.

[Willie]

No, it is. I'm actually with him on this one because every airport has different ones. Shoes off, belts off. If you walk up there, you put your shoes in the thing, and the guy goes, hey, excuse me. Your shoes stay on this time.

[Pat]

Oh, do they?

[Willie]

And I go, hey, you know what? You work here. I don't work here exactly. Actually, I don't go to TSA every day.

[Tom]

If you put.

[Willie]

You gotta get a little uniformity. Put em up.

[Josh]

Well, and you're. No offense, but you're of a certain age where you don't have to take your shoes off anymore.

[Tom]

No, but no, I got. Everything has to go in your suitcase. I said, I gotta put my phone in my suitcase. No. Then she reaches behind her because there were no bins or anything, and she gives me this, like, filthy dog bowl that goes in here. As Willie says, hey, I don't work here. I don't know where you keep your dog bowls for the phones. I'm imagining 99% of the people that come through TSA are carrying one. Maybe you should have them out here where we can see them. And I noticed that you and your five friends are all sitting on your gigantic fat asses, not doing anything but talking. Maybe you could.

[Chick]

Sincere wasn't fat, was he?

[Tom]

No, she. Okay, she is a fat.

[Pat]

Nothing worse than a fat woman.

[Willie]

Take it easy, man. Dog bowls and phones was such a.

[Pat]

Good time travel with Papa.

[Chick]

It was crazy. Hey, Chunkles, could you get off your ass and come over here? I don't know how.

[Tom]

Chocolate Chuckles doesn't cover it.

[Chick]

Really?

[Tom]

Oh, yeah. Bigger than Sean put down the c.

[Willie]

God forbid a woman weigh more than 110.

[Chick]

Three, four bills.

[Tom]

Oh, three minimum.

[Chick]

Three bill minimum.

[Tom]

I'm sorry, I'm not causing you to work. I take you away from your break. I'm just saying, how about some uniformity? Maybe a couple of signs, I don't care. But other than that, it was fine. Then I. Then of course, I went to go urinate and there was a guy once again in the stall. Side sale saddle. I still can. I still can't very. Why would anyone be sitting like this on a toilet? That makes no sense.

[Chick]

I tell you what, I start that way today. From now on, good, you're gonna side channel. Even at home, you never know.

[Tom]

Isn't that called an English saddle?

[Pat]

It's not the.

[Chick]

No, an English. A full English is a br. They have a full English breakfast, don't they?

[Tom]

No, but I mean, didn't.

[Josh]

To write English is not sidestep.

[Tom]

Okay, didn't the ladies right side?

[Josh]

Yes, they did.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Chick]

They didn't want their who on the saddle, right?

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Josh]

No, they wore skirts. They couldn't.

[Chick]

No, no, no.

[Pat]

Did she go side settle?

[Josh]

I don't know. I wasn't there.

[Pat]

I would be too busy giving away my patio.

[Chick]

You know what? You don't have to look very far to find a smart ass in this room, do you?

[Josh]

No, you don't.

[Chick]

Holy hell. Can't we have a conversation like those people on Landman? Those. Those cowboys. They. Nobody says yes or no. Is that oil? Is that pump ready to go? Well, if it wasn't, it wouldn't be out there. How about yes or no, you dick. Just tell us what to do.

[Tom]

That's all I ask.

[Chick]

Is it gonna rain today? Oh, eventually.

[Tom]

The TSA here, lovely and very nice. I don't know what. I don't know what happened in Philadelphia that everybody's so pissy, but I thought it was the city of brotherly love.

[Pat]

Well, it's only one section.

[Tom]

I must have missed something in the news.

[Chick]

Isn't that sarcastic? The brotherly love thing? I thought it is at this point. Yeah.

[Tom]

Apparently. Yeah. If you're just joining us.

[Chick]

Hello.

[Tom]

How are you? Thanks. Thanks. Thanks for being.

[Chick]

If you're a. An overweight TSA agent, though.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Chick]

You can move. We don't want you.

[Tom]

If you're that fat in Philadelphia that everything goes in your suitcase, sir.

[Willie]

You gotta relax, man.

[Chick]

You gotta relax.

[Tom]

And I, you know. Well, how about some bins? The way everyone else has it, you know, you can put your stuff in the bin and. Do I just. Because they were behind her, because she was busy chatting with her other fat friends. Probably talk about what they're gonna do for their next break.

[Chick]

No, no, no. They're talking about food. No, they're talking about food.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Chick]

Have you seen the automatic bins where you just set the. And then.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Chick]

Sucks them back into the. Yeah, they don't have to touch the bins anymore.

[Josh]

Yeah, but then you have to stand there. It's so. That's confusing because the new system, you have to stand there and wait till your bin goes all the way through before you can move it. It's confusing.

[Tom]

I'm just saying. Just post some rules, will you? That's all I ask.

[Chick]

Yeah, but you've been. You've been known to miss a sign. Yeah, there was no sign.

[Tom]

Everyone was confused.

[Dave Dyer]

Everyone.

[Chick]

Everyone was completely.

[Tom]

Typically. I mean, most places you walk up to tsa, and there are the bins right there.

[Josh]

Right. I agree.

[Chick]

You couldn't see the bins for that fat.

[Pat]

That's the problem.

[Tom]

And then she throws the filthy dog food bowl. Put your phone in there. I don't want to put my phone in there. I gotta touch that thing.

[Chick]

Filthy dog food.

[Tom]

What you do, poop in it and just wipe it out with a Kleenex?

[Chick]

Cat might have used it to crap in.

[Josh]

Do you think they sterilize those bins.

[Pat]

Each time long enough the way it is?

[Josh]

God, it would take forever.

[Tom]

No, this was the dog food bowl she gave. You know.

[Josh]

I know.

[Tom]

I'm not kidding. I didn't get a bin. I got a dog food.

[Josh]

No, those bowls are everywhere. They have them with all tsa.

[Tom]

This one looks like she wiped an elephant's ass with it and then threw it down at me.

[Pat]

That's where she had her cereal.

[Chick]

Yeah, that's protocol. And, hey, Artie, is this been elephant's ass yet? It's not ready for the line then, is it?

[Willie]

I was so happy you Know my dad, this guy, he doesn't get out enough and he gets so stressed out with work. And I'm so glad he's final.

[Tom]

He's going to go.

[Willie]

He's going to see his sister. How great is this? How was the weekend? How is Jan?

[Pat]

Great.

[Willie]

But I got to talk about this big gal at TSA just gets fired up, man.

[Tom]

I'm just.

[Chick]

I don't think that's what he said. He said fat bitch.

[Willie]

So I think when you say it's a good time. I don't think I want to say that on here. I got enough problems, that is. I don't need a video of me saying fat bitch on YouTube.

[Josh]

I still do. Now.

[Dave Dyer]

I got it happened.

[Tom]

I still want an explanation of the guy pooping sideways.

[Pat]

I really think there's people that do it and they'll get. They're going to write us right now.

[Chick]

Sure.

[Willie]

I like my theory. I like my theory. He was having a big movement. He needed to hold on to the bar by the toilet.

[Tom]

Wow.

[Josh]

Needs to hold on.

[Willie]

I don't know. He'd been on a road motorcycle.

[Tom]

He got it. That's relief, though. I bet that guy felt great. Yeah.

[Chick]

You know, there's a time though, right before the relief that you don't know if you're gonna make it.

[Tom]

Coming up in the news today, we have. This is unbelievable. We have another story involving a radical cure for constipation.

[Willie]

Radical like crazy or radical like skateboarding?

[Tom]

Radical crazy cool. And nearly killed the guy.

[Chick]

Does it involve a live animal?

[Tom]

Yes, it does.

[Chick]

Are you kidding? No, I was joking.

[Tom]

It's not the first time. It's.

[Chick]

It's.

[Tom]

It's a. It's a part of a certain culture in Asia. It's one of the. What is it like a myth?

[Chick]

And now they're doing it for real.

[Tom]

Yeah, it's not good. Well, we'll get to that. Coming up, we also have news about Ozzy. We have news about Oasis and their reunion tour getting off. We have Wimbledon coming up in the world of sports. So a bunch of stuff that happened in the UK over the weekend. Right now it's time to check in with Chick Magee to find out about Simply Safe.

[Chick]

And you can find out about peace of mind. Simplisafe. Simplisafe is a system that works to prevent break ins from ever happening in the first place. I trust Simplisafe to protect my compound. Have for years. And you should too. It's about security that is proactive, not just reactive. We use Simplisafe here at the Bob and Tom show, most security systems only take action after somebody's already broken in and in your house. SimpliSafe has new active guard outdoor protection that helps stop break ins before they happen. SimpliSafe has AI powered cameras and live monitoring agents that detect suspicious activity around your property. And if someone's lurking, there's a lurker, agents talk to them in real time. They can turn on spotlights and they even call police, proactively deterring crime before it even starts. No contracts, no hidden fees with simply safe. And it was named best home security system of 2025 by CNET. 4 million plus Americans trust SimpliSafe and their monitoring plans start around a dollar a day with a 60 day money back guarantee. Visit simplisafetom.com and claim this amazing offer. 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and your first month [e-mail] Remember, there's no safe like SimpliSafe.

[Tom]

Thank you, Chick Magee. When we come back, we'll get to a few letters. We'll discuss our various Fourth of July adventures. If you had one, by all means, get to us. Bob and tomobandtom.com from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is the Bob and Tom. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Pat]

Reach us toll free at 1-888-bobtom1 [e-mail].

[Chick]

This is the Bob and Tom Show. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Willie Griswold, Pat Godwin, there's Christy Lee, Ace Cosby. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.

[Tom]

Closed circuit. Hello to Rob.

[Chick]

Hey, Rob.

[Tom]

Rob, glad you're doing well. We appreciate you and I'm glad that everything's working out for you. Longtime listener dealing with a little bit of adversity. But hey, it's going great. I'm glad you're going to be healthy and happy. From Tilden, Nebraska. Thanks for listening, Rob, and hang in there. We're on your side, of course, and hope you're doing great. Now we have other letters with lots of other topics. Chick Magee, do you have one over there?

[Chick]

I do have. Dear Tom, Good morning, Bob and top Show. I went to my grandson's T ball game on Saturday but left early. No scoreboard. Now, Tom, would you care to explain how the scoreboard has become top of mind for Bob and Tom show listeners?

[Tom]

I was just saying that in the world of contemporary professionals, and now be.

[Chick]

Fair, you weren't Just saying. You were simply amazed.

[Pat]

Oh, you couldn't believe it.

[Chick]

Scoreboard and everything.

[Tom]

The quality. We're so used to what we've got now. You forget, for example, I went to a concert in Hyde Park, London, over the weekend, and the level of video and sound is amazing. We've come to expect it. You know, they. They have gigantic screens, and you can see everything, and the sound quality is amazing. But back in the day, you go to see a band and they'd be. They'd have their amps on stage, no PA and it just. It was a different world. And you'd go to a ball game and the scoreboard had the score, and that was it. Now the scoreboard has got everything.

[Willie]

I think they found.

[Tom]

Go ahead.

[Willie]

The bigger the scoreboard is, the more room for advertisements.

[Josh]

Right, that's true. But they've had this for 40 years. 30 years.

[Tom]

Not at the level they have it now.

[Pat]

Tom went to a WNBA game and came back and told us. You can't believe they have a scoreboard.

[Tom]

No, that is not what it's like. You can't believe.

[Chick]

No, that is exactly.

[Tom]

No, you can't believe the quality. The scoreboard they do. They're playing. Put it this way.

[Josh]

I can remember videos.

[Tom]

I remember the. In the early days, 30 years ago, of the big screens in stadiums. It was like an Etch A Sketch, you know, the pixels were a little better. Square foot. No, they were. You could. Oh, there's a shadow there now. It's so amazing. And they've got all different stats, and they're. It's great. And I'm asking, how soon are we going to have the. The floor at an NBA game, be electric and show all kinds of ads and whatever? I think that's going to be next. They can do that now.

[Pat]

Yeah, but that distracts the player, so.

[Tom]

No, no, it would be.

[Josh]

It would be just on tv.

[Pat]

Oh, I see what you're saying.

[Tom]

No. Or they could only do it during breaks. Who knows? All right, they're gonna do it. It's like, for years, they said, oh, they're never going to put advertisements on the jerseys. Oh, yeah, Wait till the checks start coming in. But yes. So I'm sorry. So your friend had to leave the. The game because there wasn't a quality scoreboard?

[Chick]

No scoreboard. Tom. He had to leave. Yep. Had it. I don't blame him.

[Tom]

All right, now back to the letters. I think I'll save this for when Josh gets back. Got this from the text line. I had the same experience at the Philadelphia Airport coming back in from Spain. Exactly. I felt like I didn't belong in my own country. Yeah.

[Chick]

There.

[Tom]

I don't know why they're so pissy. There's my passport. I was just doing a little bit of travel.

[Chick]

You should have heard what he was talking about off here in the break room during the commercials. Yeah, he's still really mad.

[Tom]

Yeah, I. Again, I. When I went through TSA in Philadelphia, they were really rude and crappy to me and everybody else. I. All you have to do is tell us what you want us to do. Folks.

[Willie]

Do you think is. Are you. Are we doing this right now? Do you think someone's gonna hear this and call you personally? Going, Tom, I'm so sorry. I can speak for tsa, Philly. We can clear this up today.

[Tom]

I can clear it up. Get rid of fat ass and get someone there who's got some manners. Maybe put a sign up. Going.

[Chick]

Now, wait a minute. Hang on. Willie might be on to something. How about like a thousand bucks is a sorry? Why not? You know, apologies come in the form of dollars as far as I'm concerned.

[Tom]

Yeah, I couldn't agree more.

[Chick]

All right.

[Tom]

All right, now.

[Chick]

Dear Tom. Yes, I thought you might like this guy. He. I think he is cool, says Susan. He's on a baseball team called the Texas Tailgaters and they play the Banana Land, which is the most famous, most popular live event in the history of the world. You know what Banana Land is? They all have fun and they have different rules for baseball and the Savannah Bananas. The Savannah Bananas, of course. Well, there's a guy on the Texas Tailgaters who bats on a unicycle. And he runs to first base on the unicycle.

[Tom]

And that leads to a story.

[Chick]

There you go.

[Tom]

In the news, we have a story about Red Panda.

[Josh]

Oh, yeah?

[Chick]

What is the animal?

[Tom]

The Red Panda?

[Chick]

No, no, the.

[Willie]

The electric halftime performer.

[Chick]

Isn't she an elder, kind of popular Halftime performer? Red Panda fractured a wrist after a fall during a WNBA game. Red Panda, whose real name is. Wrong.

[Tom]

New R O, N G. Wrong. That's. I mean, that's her name. I'm not saying. You got it right.

[Pat]

You got it right.

[Tom]

Wrong.

[Chick]

All of a sudden I'm in a Costello bit.

[Tom]

No, no, you got. You got Miss. You got Miss Wrong, right?

[Chick]

Well, what's her name?

[Tom]

Wrong.

[Chick]

I'm asking you what her name is.

[Willie]

Ross, stop chastising me. I need to know.

[Chick]

She fell off her eight foot tall unicycle and crashed to the court during halftime of the WNBA Commissioners cup, which the Indiana Fever won, pounding the Minnesota Lynx, by the way.

[Tom]

And I spotted this story on the international news wire while on an airplane flying over the.

[Josh]

Oh, it was a big story. I saw it over the weekend, too. Yeah. Everybody was talking about Red Panda.

[Chick]

I. I. Evidently, Red Panda makes a living. I guess she's great.

[Josh]

She's very.

[Chick]

Whatever you learn.

[Tom]

She's beloved. And Caitlyn came out. Caitlyn came out to help her. Yeah.

[Chick]

This might be the single saddest sentence in entertainment. Red Pandas. Agent Patrick Figley. I say Mr. Figley said the fall. Figly said it was caused by part of a unicycle being damaged during transit. We're gonna find restitution. I can assure you that.

[Josh]

Probably the lady in Philadelphia's fault.

[Chick]

That's fat in Philly dropped her unicycle.

[Josh]

Buzzing in her left pedal.

[Chick]

Boy, oh, boy.

[Tom]

Yeah. Skip Bayless accused this lady of faking it, by the way. Oh, yeah. All the drama.

[Willie]

That is such a good joke. Is that a joke or is that real?

[Tom]

That's a joke.

[Willie]

I just can't know because he is such a jerk. I can't tell.

[Tom]

Every time, everybody goes fake.

[Chick]

Fake. I don't understand why people are listening. He's not on any show now. He's just online, I guess, on his.

[Tom]

Anyway, anyway, it's. She's beloved, and I'm a huge fan of the halftime shows and the scoreboards. Yes.

[Chick]

Which way you going? Beloved or beloved, which way you going?

[Tom]

I. I. Beloved, I guess they're both fine. I don't really give it much thought.

[Chick]

All right.

[Tom]

Oh, wait a minute.

[Josh]

Ellen DeGeneres says she does a great bit about it in her special Beloved and.

[Willie]

Beloved.

[Chick]

Oh, yeah, Right.

[Josh]

Yep. Sure does. What you got, Dex?

[Tom]

What's going on? No, I'm. My new thing is WhatsApp.

[Josh]

Oh, God.

[Tom]

Why are you on.

[Pat]

What?

[Willie]

Who do you think's gonna steal your messages?

[Tom]

No, no, no.

[Josh]

That's because you can.

[Tom]

It's WhatsApp. WhatsApp is for overseas and for cheating.

[Chick]

Yeah, it really is.

[Tom]

What is the difference?

[Willie]

No, there's no difference, you guys. You got to be smarter than that. If you're gonna cheat, you cheat in, like, a Words with Friends or a chess app. Something that has a messaging feature but you don't think of as a messaging feature. Well, that's where you want to go.

[Chick]

I'm gonna go ahead and ask him. Are you seeing a woman? Yes or no? It's a simple question.

[Tom]

To communicate with my nieces, Daisy and Poppy. And Jan and Andrew. I have to do it on WhatsApp.

[Pat]

That works too.

[Tom]

You can't do it on. You can if you do it with an American texting service. They'll get it three weeks later.

[Pat]

Travel overseas.

[Tom]

Trust me.

[Chick]

That's right. It's got to go up to the satellite and add another continent, so.

[Tom]

Well, no, I. I couldn't. No, it was. Actually, I'm glad I switched over because I had indicated, you know, where I was going to be arriving, blah, blah, blah, that none of them got the messages.

[Chick]

Well, you know who. Yeah, that.

[Tom]

That'll.

[Chick]

So I'm just the fat lady in Philly.

[Tom]

We gotta get a name for her, Jesse.

[Willie]

Anything to stop saying Fat B. I'm leaning toward Denise.

[Chick]

How about that?

[Pat]

She Steak Susie.

[Dave Dyer]

Sorry.

[Willie]

Denise was really good, but she's good Susie.

[Chick]

That's good.

[Willie]

That was inspired.

[Tom]

I think you would need something more elaborate. That will be Extra Whiz.

[Chick]

Cheesesteak. Chauncey.

[Willie]

Look at old Extra Whiz over there.

[Tom]

Maybe like Crampolina.

[Pat]

We'll get Extra Whiz at the tsa.

[Tom]

Might be your name. We'll catch up with all these things. We have more letters from you coming up from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Thanks for listening.

[Pat]

Portions of the show brought to you by Champion Windows. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the SILAC Insurance news desk. There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat]

Hello, Chick.

[Chick]

Willie Griswold here. There's Ace Cosby. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. I'm Chick McGee. Dave Dyer here later this morning. Ah, hey, much, much later. I'm Chick McGee and we're busting balls. Come on. Hello, Tom.

[Tom]

Hello, Chick McGee. It's great to be back. Great to be back in the usa. We had big weekends all over the place. Pat, did you have anything exciting happen to you over the weekend? Fireworks?

[Pat]

Oh, no, no. I recorded with Alan for four days in a row. Had a blast. Now, pickleball. I played pickleball.

[Chick]

You played pickleball? Yeah.

[Willie]

Was there a scoreboard?

[Pat]

There was a huge scoreboard. Amazing.

[Tom]

Replaying your shots.

[Pat]

Playing my shots.

[Tom]

Was the scoreboard replaying? You'd have a good shot.

[Chick]

Did you play pickleball to hopefully become romantically connected with someone? Playing.

[Pat]

I was trying to reconnect with someone I was romantically involved with and play a little pickleball.

[Chick]

Reconnect.

[Pat]

Get back on track. Had a blast.

[Tom]

So in the next. The Next part.

[Pat]

Hold a hamstring.

[Chick]

Pull the hamster.

[Tom]

Anything else get pulled?

[Pat]

Either your pork.

[Tom]

My pork got pulled.

[Pat]

Barbecue. When that barbecue. We had nowhere to eat it because someone stole my porch. But the porch furniture.

[Josh]

But you are so full of it.

[Willie]

I love it.

[Tom]

Let's move forward here.

[Pat]

Well, we can't. Christy took.

[Tom]

Let's see. Where were we? Oh, we were. Are we entering the world of sports? Is that what's happening?

[Chick]

Yes, we're entering. We're walking right through the front door. Carlos. Escape from Alcaraz has stretched his Wimbledon winning streak. Skein, if you will, to 18 matches. Return to the quarters. He pursues his third title in a row at the All England Club. Alcaraz beat number 14, a Russian man. 6, 7, 6, 3.

[Tom]

At least give it a. Give it a shot. Like Kalichko.

[Chick]

Andre.

[Tom]

Klits. Klitsky.

[Chick]

Hang on, bruh. Rubber.

[Tom]

Rub. Rubber.

[Chick]

Robert Andre. Rubber Dubba. And now let's get to our favorites, the women.

[Tom]

Yep.

[Chick]

Taylor Fritz against number 17, Karen Koch.

[Willie]

Gotta be careful with that one.

[Chick]

Off. And top rank. Arena Sabalenka against Anastasia Pussy. Pavli. Yeah, yeah. Chink. Pav. Pavli. Yachenka.

[Tom]

Yachank. Chank. Emk. Right.

[Chick]

And Laura Singman. Sigmund. Laura Sigmund, who says it's her mom's fault. All reached the women's quarter. And during the Wimbledon Championships, fans, every now and then, they, of course, have a Pimms. That's a beer. In England, the Pimms. I'll have a Pims and.

[Tom]

Oh, Pims Cop.

[Chick]

They also have, really, a beer, a glass of champagne, as it is customary, part of the courtside experience. According to an Australian umpire, John Bloom warned the crowd against popping the bottle during the match. And it's gone viral as the most British announcement people have ever heard. Here's what it sounded like at Wimbledon.

[Tom]

Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, if you could avoid.

[Willie]

Opening bottles of champagne, the players are about to serve.

[Tom]

Come on. I love that it's warm. It's the most Wimbledon warning you've ever heard. Please, one more time.

[Chick]

Listen for the pop, the very plain pop of champagne right at the beginning there.

[Josh]

Oh, I love it.

[Tom]

Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, if you could avoid.

[Willie]

Opening bottles of champagne when the players.

[Chick]

Are about to serve.

[Tom]

Oh, come on. I love that it's warm. It's the most Wimbledon warning you've ever heard. That's hilarious.

[Josh]

Mine is.

[Tom]

It's warm.

[Josh]

Yeah, that's going to cool you off. A nice cold glass of champagne.

[Chick]

You sh. Your home. I'm Drinking champagne.

[Josh]

Was it hot in England?

[Chick]

Not 110.

[Tom]

No, not too bad.

[Chick]

I.

[Tom]

It. It had been extremely hot. I know in Paris. It was over 100 degrees last week.

[Chick]

You know where it did get hot, though?

[Josh]

Where?

[Chick]

TSA in Philly. Oh yeah. Got real.

[Pat]

Got heated.

[Chick]

What'd she say to you? Put it in there. And threw the. The dirty dog bowl.

[Tom]

Everything has to go in your suitcase.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

What do you. So I've got to put my phone in there now here's.

[Josh]

We.

[Willie]

None of us have. We haven't brought this up at all. Is there any chance he's completely in the wrong in this situation?

[Pat]

Of course.

[Willie]

Is he on the phone while he's walking through?

[Chick]

No, no, no.

[Tom]

Sorry.

[Willie]

I'm on WhatsApp. Texting Janny, you don't know you're.

[Tom]

No, I'm. I there. Anyone witnessing? They all. Everyone looked at each other like what the hell?

[Chick]

Judging that by how upset he is. I. I think this woman was and a touch rude.

[Tom]

There were no. And then they threw the dog ball at me. Your phone goes in there. Okay.

[Chick]

I threw it out.

[Tom]

Put it in there. If there'd been one sitting here, maybe a bin or something. I don't know. Why.

[Chick]

Why couldn't you see the dog bowls?

[Tom]

Because they were behind her big fat ass. And the 303 employees, none of whom were doing anything.

[Chick]

So.

[Tom]

By the way, PIMS is a Pimm's cup.

[Chick]

There you go.

[Tom]

Is a. It's not a beer.

[Chick]

It's okay.

[Tom]

The signature cocktail.

[Chick]

Got it right.

[Tom]

Lemonade.

[Chick]

Manager Dave Martinez and general manager Mike Rizzo have been fired by the Washington Nationals after their sixth consecutive losing season. What? Why did they wait so long? And Kevin Durant, he got traded again. Houston Rockets official and it's in a record setting deal got approved by the NBA yesterday as part of a seven team transaction.

[Josh]

Oh my goodness.

[Chick]

Who wants to hear all the details?

[Willie]

Oh, please, let's do it.

[Chick]

Me either.

[Tom]

Really?

[Chick]

Okay. It involved Phoenix, Houston, Atlanta, Minnesota, Golden State, Brooklyn and the Lakers. It includes a total of 13 players. The headline moves include Durant going to Houston from Phoenix, the Rockets sending Jalen Green and Dylan Brooks to the Suns. And the Rockets getting Clint Capella who hates instruments from middle initial A. That's right, hates the instrument. WNBA yesterday, Vegas, Minnesota and Seattle winning. And on the 4th of July, Joey Chestnut reclaimed his title as Nathan's famous fourth of July hot dog eatin contest. Organized gluttony. Joey consumed 70 and a half hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes win his 17th mustard belt he's 41 years old. He fell short of the all time record he set in 20. 2176. Hot dogs and buns. Yeah, Wieners. And he was.

[Tom]

He said he was going to go for the record this year.

[Chick]

Yeah, I wish I ate a couple more, Joey said to the crowd.

[Tom]

But he. He slaughtered the competition.

[Chick]

I'll be back next year.

[Tom]

They couldn't catch up just on this. Couldn't catch up.

[Chick]

Thank you.

[Tom]

Couldn't catch up. You see?

[Pat]

We relished it.

[Tom]

You relish that joke.

[Chick]

Can we. Can we listen to you thank yourself again because you hit the drum anyway. I didn't touch anything. Defending champ in the women's division, Mickey sudo, won her 11th title. She ate 33 hot dogs.

[Tom]

Vastly inferior. That's crazy.

[Willie]

I went to a Cubs game last week, I ate three hot dogs and I got a headache immediately. It's a lot of sodium. It's a lot going on once you get past three.

[Chick]

Sodium and the nitrogen.

[Tom]

I did. I did the math on this. Based on. I think this is fair. 300 calories for the average hot dog. That means that Joey consumed over 21,000 calories of hot dogs in 10 minutes.

[Chick]

How was he not weighing like the TSA lady in Philly? Why doesn't he weigh 500. 500 pounds?

[Josh]

Because he probably doesn't eat for the rest of the week.

[Tom]

And he's a nice gentleman. He's a nice guy. As opposed to that. Okay, sorry. Now, how do you think the parties are after the Nathan's. After the Nathan's thing? Because they can't all go. Well, you want to go get something to eat? Hey, you want to go for a couple of beers?

[Josh]

I bet he doesn't party after.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Chick]

How much time has to pass before it's legitimate to bomb? To vomit? I forget, but there is instead of vomit. Yeah. I think there is a time you can vomit it.

[Pat]

Yeah, I think he would.

[Tom]

I don't think he does.

[Chick]

I. I would.

[Pat]

21, 000 calories of nitrates and salt.

[Willie]

That's got to be crazy.

[Tom]

I have a suggestion for them if they want to. To make a little bit of extra money.

[Chick]

Oh, okay.

[Tom]

Hear me out on this.

[Chick]

Okay?

[Tom]

Now, what do they do during the super bowl when it looks like they're going to win? They do. What do they do to the coach?

[Pat]

Gatorade.

[Tom]

Yeah, they dump Gatorade all over them, Right? Pepto Bismol, maybe?

[Chick]

Yeah, why not? Ketchup or mustard or.

[Tom]

Well, whoever would pay. In other words, whoever's going to pay for it. All right, so if the Pepto Bismol people. And this is a great. This is a million dollar idea.

[Chick]

You know what the mood you're in, I'm going to go, yes, it is a million dollar idea.

[Tom]

You're right. I'm telling you, next year, if they did that and didn't say anything and then dumped a giant thing of Pepto Bismol on them, that story would be everywhere.

[Willie]

Yeah, it's a good idea.

[Tom]

Again, the Joey Chestnut story. I'm on the airplane international news wire. There it is right there in one of the lead stories in sports, right after the thing about Wimbledon and Jennifer Klitsky, whatever her name was. So there you go. Well, congratulations, Joey, good friend of the show. Well, Joey.

[Chick]

And then Nathan's Hot Dogs. Always the number one because there's. Other than baseball, there's nothing else going on.

[Tom]

But as. And as you said, though, there was a. To use your English.

[Chick]

Yes.

[Tom]

Controversy.

[Chick]

Controversy.

[Tom]

Oh, I see, yes. You emphasize the trial, the.

[Chick]

The champagne court.

[Tom]

Oh, no, no, the controversy was that. Am I getting this right? In the previous year, he didn't do it because he had a deal with some vegetarian.

[Josh]

Oh, you're talking about Joey Chestnut.

[Willie]

Yeah, he was with Impossible Foods Hot Dogs.

[Josh]

He had to get back in.

[Tom]

So he's back.

[Chick]

So it's in the saddle again.

[Tom]

Yes, I see. Because he's back in the. In the big leagues again. So we'll look forward to seeing Joey here in the studios. Now, coming up, do we have more sports?

[Chick]

We'll see.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Chick]

I like to surprise.

[Tom]

So what we're gonna do when we come back, we'll have what we come back with. Is that what you're saying?

[Chick]

And then we'll do that as soon as we return.

[Tom]

Okay, so when we get back here, we'll be here again, Right? Okay, we're trying to clarify this. But first. But first, a word about better help. This is a. This is a great program. It's. It's a way to access therapy online can be extraordinarily helpful. Maybe you have workplace stress. I look around here every once in a while. I can see people. They got their emails piling up. They're worried about the one meeting a month we have. I don't want to go to the meeting. So maybe. Maybe you're stressed out for other reasons. Perhaps the constant criticism.

[Chick]

Just because I'm a little overweight. Tom yells, being fat ass.

[Tom]

Okay, the larger point here. Okay, the larger point here is therapy can be extraordinarily helpful. Whatever issue you might want to talk about. And the best way to access therapy is kind of newer. It's been around for several years. And the, the beauty of this is the therapy's done online. So you can do it with your phone, wherever you want to be or you can do it with your laptop, whatever it might be to access it. And the largest online therapy provider in the world is betterhelp. They have a variety of mental health care professionals with, by the way, diverse variety of areas of expertise. So if you want to talk about a particular thing, they'll try to hook you up with someone. By the way, if that doesn't work out, you can switch therapists anytime. No additional fees are involved. Unwind from work if you will, among other things. With better help, Bob and Tom show listeners can get 10% off their first month by going to betterhelp.com BTShow that's BetterHelp. H E L P betterhelp.com BT show get rid of the stigma. It's okay to get counsel, to get, to get therapy. To talk to someone can be extraordinarily helpful. Once again, better help H E L P betterhelp.com BT show coming up, we have a very fine guest. Firefighter Comedian Dave Dyer will be joining us. Also, updates on Ozzy, updates on Oasis, and updates on Are you left handed? Interesting lefty news coming up from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Willie Griswold, Pat Godwin, Christy Lee, Ace Cosby. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Gun. Get the parts and service you need fast. From the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. This has been Chick McGee speaking and Tom is in his basement over there. I don't know if you guys knew this or not, but here in the studio, I'm right back, Tom has a lower level, a lower level that he goes to and he, he's looking around obviously to make the studio a little colder than it already.

[Tom]

My, my iced tea pitcher is missing. I think it, I may had broken the dishwasher. I don't know.

[Chick]

Or maybe somebody got tired of hearing you clank around the hallways and maybe a conscientious employee threw it out into the parking lot.

[Josh]

Did you do that?

[Tom]

Me?

[Chick]

Yeah. Oh, I said conscientious employee.

[Pat]

Oh, I made that clear.

[Chick]

I made that clear.

[Tom]

We learned a lot this morning. It's been already, it's been a good show. We got A lot going on. Coming up, comedian Dave Dyer will be joining us here in the studio. Willie's here, Pat's here, Christie's here. I'm here, Ace is here. And There's a chick McGee.

[Josh]

When again, there's a.

[Willie]

There's a switch on the TSA people call.

[Josh]

You know, there is a switch.

[Chick]

Sorry.

[Josh]

Put it on vibrate.

[Chick]

I want you to know that if any of you have your phone on, you'll be dealt with. Interrupting the show quickly and severely. We're on the air.

[Josh]

People not know your working right now.

[Pat]

Oh, hang on a second day doing radio.

[Chick]

Explain already.

[Tom]

Did you say hang on a second?

[Willie]

Were you stopping us from criticizing you.

[Chick]

For your phone being on?

[Tom]

Sorry. I was on a plane for 16 hours yesterday. I'm a little bit.

[Chick]

Nobody cares.

[Tom]

Jet lagged.

[Josh]

16 hours? No, you were traveling for 16 hours.

[Tom]

Yeah. No, I left the hotel. It would have been seven.

[Josh]

Yeah, but you weren't on a.

[Chick]

The lady.

[Tom]

It would have been two in the morning here when I left.

[Chick]

The lady at tsa. Starting to come into clearer focus the longer you talk. I, I almost understand.

[Pat]

I'm siding with her now.

[Tom]

I get her very, very comfortable. Thank you. American. Yes. And her some more food so she can get fatter so no one can see what the signs say.

[Chick]

Oh, my God. She was blocking the sign.

[Tom]

There were no signs. I'm just saying. Saying for God's block, people, you know, we're all confused. We don't work. As Willie said, I don't work at tsa. And every. So everyone seems like they all make up their own rules. So shoes on, shoes off, hats on, hats off. Everything has to go in.

[Chick]

I'm not messing with my hat.

[Tom]

Everything has to go in your bag. Whatever.

[Pat]

We've all flown with a comedian who refuses to take his shoes off. Oh, yeah, that's a lot of fun.

[Tom]

Really.

[Josh]

You know who that is?

[Tom]

Hastings?

[Josh]

Yes.

[Tom]

God, what an idiot.

[Pat]

I'm not taking my shoes off.

[Chick]

I was standing right behind him on the tsa. Guys, do you have anything in your pocket that we should be aware of? And he said, drew, quick as anything, whatever you could find.

[Willie]

If you're buying someone Atlanta TSA and they start yelling about the Constitution, it's going to take you a longer time to get through.

[Tom]

This is against my right now. Once again, I was in the Philadelphia airport and I after dealing with the incredibly rude immigration guy. Welcome back to your country. I'm going to be all pissy about letting you back in. Okay. But I had to go to the bathroom and I walked in. I told you this before I could see. As I walked in, I wasn't looking, but I couldn't help but notice there was a guy sitting side saddle on a toilet. I still don't understand this. Willie, I think, may have the best explanation. He was in the pooping position, if you will, but facing the side because his feet were clearly. Yes, in your thought. Willie is one.

[Willie]

I think he's holding the bar that's there for folks that need it. He's holding the bar. He's bracing for dear life so he can do his business again. I don't know. I got pushed into even having this theory. I didn't want to have this theory.

[Josh]

I know it.

[Willie]

But Psycho started talking, so now we got to figure something out. I think he's holding it. He's pretending that it's a little. It's like a little.

[Josh]

Maybe he was doing squats.

[Willie]

Vroom, vroom. Could have been doing squats.

[Josh]

Yeah. You don't know. He could have been working out.

[Pat]

Could you tell if he was a large man?

[Tom]

Was he a. I didn't stick around.

[Chick]

He wasn't a big fat bitch, was he? Was he a big fat.

[Josh]

Did it smell bad?

[Tom]

I. I hastened. I peed as quickly as possible. And then.

[Chick]

Are you ever in the men's room and there's just deafening gas sounds coming from one of the stalls?

[Tom]

Yeah. I'll tell you what, though. I had to do.

[Chick]

You laugh.

[Tom]

I had something I haven't done in years. I actually was. I had to do a major transaction on the plane.

[Chick]

Oh, no one does that. I am in the presence of. Of greatness. I don't know how you did that.

[Tom]

And then, of course, the one thing you want to happen is you don't want to be in there. And all of a sudden you hear, we've got the seat belt tied on now, and. Oh, God, who cares?

[Josh]

You got time.

[Pat]

That's called dropping a Doucet Lodge.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Tom]

You don't want to be in there sitting down. And all of a sudden. Because you read about these things where the planes drop 10,000ft.

[Josh]

Yeah, that'd be a bad.

[Tom]

People are scraped off the ceiling. You don't want to be mid transaction. But. So I sat down and I don't know what. I didn't touch anything. I sat down and it flushed itself while I was sitting there. I thought I was going to get sucked out of the plane because it ejects it, right? Just. It just shoots it up the side.

[Chick]

Didn't you hear about that? Didn't you hear about that one guy? His anus prolapse from the suction of the toilet on one of those American Airlines prolapsed anus. Yep. Right out. Right.

[Pat]

Are you saying it ejects it? I never knew that. Was it ejected.

[Josh]

I don't know what it does. I don't want to know.

[Tom]

That's what trains used to do.

[Pat]

Oh.

[Tom]

Ever been riding an old train and you'd flush it and you could see the tracks going by?

[Chick]

Oh, yeah, that's true. Jump out onto the tracks.

[Josh]

Are you serious?

[Tom]

Absolutely.

[Willie]

You guys grew up in the Old West. That's real.

[Josh]

I didn't know that.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Chick]

I was a schoolmarm.

[Tom]

But, yeah. Doing a major transit. And then, of course, you're concerned. Okay, now when I come out of this bathroom. Bathroom. Because there's going to be someone waiting in line.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom]

No, you don't want to make eye contact. You're going to be. The guy that you're going to be so worried about. Wrecked the bathroom. Hey. Yeah. The guy in. The guy in 5A.

[Chick]

Have you ever done that on a plane? Come out of the bathroom and go. Do not go in there.

[Tom]

Do that. Unfortunately, since the seat belt light was on then, I. I didn't want to get scolded by the. The flight attendant.

[Chick]

Have you ever been told, you ask, can I. Even though the seat belt lights on, you ask, can I go to the restroom? And they say, no, I've.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick]

Most of the time they say yes, but I had. I've had someone say no.

[Josh]

Oh, really?

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

They were great, though. American Airlines love you. It was tremendous. Great flight.

[Chick]

That was great.

[Tom]

They were terrific.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Every aspect of it was wonderful.

[Chick]

What about the TSA in Philadelphia?

[Tom]

Oh, once again, she had a problem. And again, the immigration. Come on.

[Chick]

God.

[Tom]

I. They were just.

[Josh]

Global entry.

[Chick]

That's what you need.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Chick]

You got to drive like 200 miles to get it.

[Tom]

But.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

All I know is I presented a fresh, clean American passport with my photograph on it. Why'd you leave the country? Well, of course, I'm trying to foment a revolution. Of course. Declaring unity and love.

[Pat]

Smart, Alex.

[Tom]

Great Britain.

[Pat]

I did that once.

[Tom]

No, I didn't.

[Josh]

What, no sense of humor?

[Chick]

What would have been okay for them to say as you came back into.

[Tom]

The country, welcome home. Just nothing. You don't have to say. Don't. Just get. Get old man. Why you. Why'd you go out of the country? I don't know. Maybe to see relatives. Last time I checked, it was still legal.

[Pat]

I.

[Willie]

They ask you that every time. And they ask everybody that. It's not just you. They say, hey, what were you doing over there? Business or pleasure?

[Tom]

Didn't say it like that. He said it real mean.

[Pat]

He said real mean.

[Willie]

Yes, and you would know.

[Chick]

He said it real mean.

[Pat]

It hurt my feelings.

[Tom]

The last time.

[Willie]

Like you're ratting to your teacher.

[Tom]

The last time I came in that. The last time. Remember this? I told you this story. The last time I came back in, the guy started laughing. I was coming in from the Bahamas, and the guy looked at my passport and he goes, sir, this is the worst passport photo I have ever seen. I'm gonna bring it in. In that photograph, I look darker than Ace.

[Chick]

I thought you. I thought it went the other way and you were pale like the guy from Bill and Ted.

[Tom]

I'll bring in the old passport.

[Pat]

How's the new photo? Glamour shot?

[Tom]

Oh, the new photo is amazing. My buddy Sean took it at FedEx.

[Chick]

Gorgeous.

[Pat]

He did the lighting.

[Chick]

Sean does a fine work.

[Tom]

Sean's a master.

[Chick]

He's amazing.

[Tom]

He's my main man.

[Josh]

He's your best friend.

[Pat]

Now, are you wearing a hat in the photo?

[Tom]

No. No. You can't wear a hat in the photo. But you. You can't wear. Well, I forget. Well, a mask you can't wear. White shirts you have to wear. I don't know.

[Josh]

In my white back?

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Pat]

White background on ski masks.

[Chick]

Do you remember Bobtat's driver's license he wore. Yeah, he wore the really bad toupee. And they let him keep it. He insisted on that. That was his hair. And it's. I think it's still. Right now. It's still on his driver's license. Yeah.

[Tom]

See, that's just eventually going to get you in trouble.

[Chick]

Oh, sure.

[Tom]

Yeah. You're going to get pulled over and suddenly you're going to get frisked. They're going to do an anal search and.

[Chick]

Yeah, because when you get pulled over on the highway, they start with your ass every time. What's wrong with you?

[Pat]

How many drinks have you had? Well, let's just check your ass.

[Chick]

Well, you can do the breathalyzer. You could. But the most accurate reading, right.

[Pat]

You don't refuse the shoot.

[Tom]

Now, you were talking about Wimbledon.

[Chick]

Yes, I was.

[Tom]

And you mentioned the Pim's Cup.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

This says it's the British answer to sangria.

[Chick]

There you go.

[Tom]

Do you remember when sangria was everywhere?

[Chick]

Is that r. Sangria?

[Pat]

Red wine.

[Willie]

Wine and fruit.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Was that a thing? Parties for you in college?

[Willie]

No. We learned about it in Spanish class, and we did an alcoholic version of it in Spanish class when I was like, in like eighth grade.

[Tom]

That used to be every party you'd go to. The sangria was a big, big deal.

[Willie]

You know, we did in college. It was called jungle juice, and it was ever clear. Mixed with orange juice, pineapple juice. My face. You had squirt the soda, squirt to it, and then half a bottle of grenadine. That will get the job done, boys.

[Pat]

That get you there fast.

[Josh]

Pim Scop. Isn't Pimm's like a citrus liqueur or something? Yeah.

[Tom]

Up. Yeah, it says it's. It's like gin.

[Josh]

Very. It's very British.

[Chick]

Yeah, don't you mix that up in the bathtub, what you were mixing up?

[Willie]

No, we would do. We would just get like a big. Like we, like someone would have like all their summer clothes in a big crate. We'd take that, we'd wash it out with a hose, and we just dump a bunch of stuff in there. It was fun, man.

[Tom]

This says Pim's number one cup. The base spirit is gin. Herbal, citrusy, slightly spiced. 25% at ABV, invented by James Pitt.

[Chick]

Wait a minute.

[Tom]

Yes.

[Pat]

AB.

[Chick]

What's the percentage?

[Tom]

25%.

[Willie]

Oh, that'll get the job done.

[Chick]

Yeah, that's a lot.

[Willie]

A little less than wine.

[Tom]

And the other thing at Wimbledon is the strawberries and cream. Cream, right.

[Willie]

I do not know.

[Josh]

And champagne, apparently.

[Tom]

Oh, oh, wait a minute. I got a story for you. I forgot about this one.

[Chick]

Okay.

[Tom]

Walk out of my hotel. Walk 50ft to the right. And there was a great smoothie place next to that was a. A coffee place.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Now, I want to see if Christy, you'll remember this. Do you remember civet coffee?

[Josh]

Oh, yeah. With the cat.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Where they digest the coffee beans and then poop them out and they make coffee from it.

[Tom]

They have.

[Josh]

Did you have it?

[Tom]

They had civet coffee. And once again, if you. This, you're going to have to look it up because you're not going to believe me. The civet is some kind of cat. And I think it's in, I don't know, somewhere South America, Asia, whatever.

[Josh]

America, but whatever.

[Tom]

And they feed. They force feed these beans to these animals. They poop them out, which allegedly takes away the bitterness, I think.

[Josh]

Yeah, allegedly.

[Tom]

And then they make. They make coffee out of it. So.

[Josh]

And did you try it?

[Tom]

No, we tried it here one morning. It. But it was extremely expensive.

[Chick]

But I think I remember it being just a Touch bitter.

[Tom]

I thought, well, that's. It's supposed to take the bitters. It's just one of those pretentious things that no one really would ever do that.

[Willie]

But that's why I'm surprised you didn't try it and love it because you're like.

[Tom]

So I was. But I got talking to the barista. They have a coffee there and I can probably find the menu. They have a coffee there that is. It was like £690 per cup. It's the most. They said. The guy goes, this is the most expensive coffee in the world. Oh. And I said, does anyone ever get. He goes, yeah, guy got one this morning. They make a little pot of it. And he goes, I got. He said, I got to try it. It's nothing.

[Pat]

How much a cup?

[Tom]

600. I think it was 600. I think it was 697 pounds.

[Willie]

697 pounds. How is it not working at the Philadelphia airport? Yeah, my goodness.

[Josh]

But I mean, that's a fat cup of coffee.

[Tom]

That's like. Like a thousand bucks.

[Josh]

That's like a thousand dollars.

[Chick]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom]

I. The guy. It was, it's. He goes, it's just one of those, you know, ridiculous things.

[Josh]

Wow.

[Tom]

It was. And also it's one of those things with the. That street. You walk down the street and there's a murdered out Ferrari.

[Josh]

Yeah. Well, you were stay. Never mind. You were staying in a very nice area.

[Tom]

Staying in Mayfair. Right. Because I want to be able to walk to Hyde Park.

[Josh]

Yeah, there's a very nice area.

[Chick]

And what is Hyde park again, Pat? What is that?

[Pat]

Well, there's an alternative area. I'll be behind the tree.

[Chick]

That's what I thought.

[Tom]

Yeah. I'll pull up the menu for this place. Place. If you want to buy a thousand dollar cup of coffee, you can do it. It's amazing.

[Pat]

Where did we stay when we went?

[Tom]

I forget. I don't remember.

[Pat]

Delightful.

[Tom]

This place was significantly nicer.

[Chick]

What is Pat like to travel with Tom? I just think he was incredibly organized.

[Tom]

Nobody to go, terribly nervous.

[Pat]

Bad flyer.

[Tom]

Bad flyer.

[Willie]

You're bad passenger. One of them. I was driving Pat to a show in Iowa and I went five over to pass a guy that was going slow.

[Pat]

He goes, go the speed limit, please. Don't care. Shut up.

[Willie]

You're getting there safe, man.

[Pat]

The worst. Like, I'm a bad passenger. I'm a bad flyer.

[Chick]

You're a bad person all around.

[Pat]

Horrible, man.

[Chick]

You're a big. You ever know that? You know, why aren't you at the tsa in Philly. Huh.

[Pat]

We flew there. I'd flown in from Washington. Tom picked me up. We go to London, and then I wake up. I had no idea where I was, you know, Right. I look out the window, and it was Mary Poppins. Poppins. I was like. It was all these old English. I went, where the hell? I'm in England. It was like old chimneys.

[Tom]

What the hell? Oh, and here's something that I had noticed. This is really smart. They have in big letters imprinted on the. On the streets, at the corners. Which way you're supposed to look.

[Chick]

Oh, because.

[Tom]

Yeah, because they're driving the other side. It's kind of backwards. So if you're used to looking left. So sometimes it'll say, look left, look right. Right. Very handy.

[Willie]

Those actually aren't there all the time. They heard you were coming, and they quickly installed them.

[Tom]

I need them.

[Chick]

We're going to have 39 accidents every hour if we don't get these signs changed for Tom. Yeah.

[Tom]

Had a great time. Weekend in England. Not weekend in New England, like your Barry Manilow song. Oh, speaking of songs, Pat, you got something coming up? I do.

[Chick]

I hope.

[Tom]

Okay, well, I've got a. I've got a treat for you.

[Chick]

I think optimism is high.

[Tom]

Now, if anyone, by the way, can explain why the guy was sitting on the toilet side saddle, let me know, and I. And I will post on a different toilet note the photograph of the toilet in my hotel room. And it was indeed rectangular.

[Chick]

I say we get a picture of you on the toilet here. We. You don't have to take your pants down. Just sit on the toilet side.

[Tom]

Well, I'm taking my pants.

[Pat]

Oh, he's got to take his pants for the photo. Was your toilet please clean for the photo?

[Tom]

Of course.

[Pat]

Okay. You got to make sure.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Pat]

People will analyze that.

[Tom]

Yeah. This place was. This is kind of.

[Chick]

Didn't you tell me you.

[Tom]

You.

[Chick]

A major transaction going over and coming back?

[Tom]

No, no, no, no. Twice, though, coming back.

[Chick]

Twice. Twice in the. In the tour.

[Tom]

I had tried to time everything so I. I wouldn't have to do that, but unfortunately, yeah, I. It was really on my level of anxiety. I'm not an anxious flyer, but I. If. If I have to poop on the.

[Pat]

Plane, all that Welsh rarebit and then.

[Tom]

But everything. That seat belt sign would come out. I'd go, oh, yeah, I don't want to get trapped here.

[Chick]

Did you have Spotted Dick while you were over there?

[Pat]

He got it when he came back.

[Chick]

I'll be behind the couch.

[Tom]

Those aren't zits.

[Chick]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom]

What is.

[Willie]

Come on, man, spot it.

[Tom]

Spot a dick. As a dessert, it was like a pudding. What is it again?

[Pat]

I think it is.

[Chick]

I don't.

[Tom]

I've never.

[Josh]

It comes in. It comes in a can. I know that.

[Pat]

You can make your own pudding.

[Chick]

It prefers to come in a can. I know that.

[Tom]

This is another unusual thing. If you ordered a coffee and you asked for cream and sugar every single time I did, they would always go, we have milk, which is nice. In other words, they made a effort to point out, it's not cream, it's going to be milk. That's cool.

[Pat]

And what was your response? I asked for creamy fat.

[Chick]

Look, look, lady, I'm on a roll. I just came from Philly, okay? You want to mess with me some more?

[Tom]

With your bad attitude, you should work at the Philadelphia airport.

[Chick]

Boy, oh, boy.

[Tom]

Well, on that note, coming up, we'll be joined by comedian Dave Dyer, who also happens to be a fireman in the great state of Michigan. He's got a special charity gig coming up, so he's making a charity appearance on our program. We got music coming up from Patty G. Updates on Oasis, Ozzy Osbourne in Birmingham. The last, he says the last time he's going to perform.

[Josh]

Well, after you see it, I would.

[Tom]

We have a headline that has. Has the phrase genitals crushed in it.

[Chick]

Gross.

[Tom]

Yikes. Yeah, well, the only good part of the story is it was at least in a BMW.

[Chick]

I got hit in the genitals with a football helmet during practice. One time this guy got hit with a BMW thought I was gonna die.

[Tom]

Again, a large automobile in the balls. That's all coming up from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios where this is the Bob and Tom Show. For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom show contest rules, go to bobandtom.com contest-rules or just scroll down to the bottom of the page page and see contest rules. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk. Yo, there's Pat Godwin.

[Pat]

Hello.

[Chick]

Willie Griswold is there. I'm in. And in case you haven't heard, Josh Arnold quit. And these were. These were his last words on the show.

[Dave Dyer]

Quit.

[Chick]

There's Ace cosby. I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom.

[Tom]

Hello, Chick McGee. Great to be back in the USA. Now, did you go see any fireworks? I did not because I saw fireworks in London.

[Chick]

I heard plenty. How do they. How do they present the 4th of July in London? As if. As if they came out on top.

[Tom]

It was just. It was just. It was inadvertent. At the end of the day. Noah Khan show. The they shot some off. It was incredibly cool. At Hyde Park, London.

[Chick]

I had not done this before. Well, Joey's my standard Australian shepherd's three years old and I finally got it together to go to the vet and get her some. Some pills for the fireworks. And man, I'm not going to tell you what they gave. I'll tell you guys off the air, but I don't want to share it on the air.

[Tom]

And were they minty when you took them?

[Chick]

I have not taken them yet. But let me tell you something.

[Tom]

They're suppositories.

[Chick]

This little puppy dog could care less, man.

[Tom]

Really?

[Chick]

Fireworks. I don't care. Shoot him out of my ass. That sounds great.

[Tom]

It was. It is The D& CBD stand for doggy.

[Chick]

She is laying in the middle of the floor right now.

[Willie]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom]

High af.

[Willie]

I'm pretty sure me and Joey, I had a pretty similar thing going on. Spring of 2016. Just tell her to be careful. Make sure she weans off.

[Chick]

Oh, well, I'm getting. Yeah, I'm watching her.

[Tom]

Is that one of those Internet things? Haf high is F. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chick]

No.

[Tom]

I know. AF is whatever. High as.

[Chick]

Okay.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Chick]

Okay.

[Tom]

Very good. So your doggy was okay last year?

[Chick]

She was good. Yeah, she's fine. She's wonderful now. So.

[Tom]

Okay, cool. But you didn't go see any live fireworks.

[Chick]

I did not.

[Tom]

Mr. Godwin, did you?

[Pat]

In the bedroom. Fireworks in the bedroom.

[Willie]

My man.

[Chick]

Are you a bird and beaver?

[Pat]

Elvis Presley.

[Chick]

Elvis Presley.

[Pat]

Backseat limo. Didn't know camera was on.

[Tom]

Fireworks. Fireworks in the back. Better. No, no, no. Were they lady fingers or were they M80s?

[Chick]

Did you have sex with a man?

[Pat]

I'll be behind the bottle. Rocket.

[Chick]

Yes or no. And it's okay if you did, buddy.

[Tom]

I love you.

[Willie]

I got to see some fireworks. Driving into town last night, the Morgan County Fair had some fireworks and there.

[Tom]

Was a storm brewing last night. Yes.

[Willie]

And I saw fireworks and like thunder at the same time.

[Josh]

You mean lightning.

[Tom]

Yes.

[Willie]

Thank you very much. Thank you very much. I'm 32. I'm never going to get that right. I'm never going to nail that one one. It was very creepy. The fireworks and thunder looks like stranger things.

[Josh]

That sounds kind of cool.

[Willie]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Are they. A lot of places now are doing July 4th pretty much whenever they feel like.

[Josh]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom]

There were a bunch of them the previous weekend.

[Josh]

Right.

[Tom]

Is that. Because the companies that do it, you get a. It's a better fee if you're not doing it on the 4th or you.

[Josh]

Can'T book them because they're too many.

[Chick]

Oh, there you go.

[Josh]

I don't know.

[Tom]

And I know the big deal we mentioned the. This before next year is.

[Chick]

You mentioned this before. You're eaten up by it already. I can't imagine next.

[Tom]

No, because it's a huge deal. Because next year is the 250th, right?

[Chick]

No, 300 would be the big deal. Just like 200 was the big deal.

[Tom]

And it's. What is it? It's not like sesquicentennial. There's some weird word that you'll never use again.

[Josh]

But it's on a Saturday.

[Tom]

It's on a Saturday. And they were saying because of that deuce and a half, the celebrations are going to be even bigger. But the big question is, are they going to resolve the tax issue with China? Because all these fireworks companies need to order their stuff now. And if there's going to be a 50% tax on it, they're not going to. It's complicated. But I don't know if that's been resolved in the last few weeks, but it should be a huge celebration next year. 250 years of America.

[Chick]

So you didn't get a chance. Because I know you used to be a proponent of having your own fireworks in your own yard.

[Tom]

I'm a fan, and you would. But I did pound pipe into the ground. I was in England, so I didn't, you know, didn't do anything.

[Pat]

Is that how Willie grew up with fireworks from your dad?

[Willie]

I was telling somebody the story the other day. It was so weird. He made such an event out of it. He wore glasses. One year, he wore a big welder's mask. And then, yeah, he would run around with a blowtorch. He said that made him more safe, but it's seemingly less safe, I think. Running around with an active blowtorch.

[Tom]

No, because you. This way. This. The fuse takes it seriously. Yeah. If you walk up with one of those punks or whatever. Your gun. Is it lit? Is it lit?

[Pat]

It.

[Tom]

You hit it with one of those Burns O Matic torches.

[Willie]

The weird thing is, growing up, I thought this was regular. It wasn't until I was like, 12, my buddies came over for this, and they're like, oh, my, your dad is a psycho. And I was like, I don't know yet. But now it's been confirmed.

[Tom]

And I built a mortar launcher out of PCV Yeah.

[Chick]

You did pvc.

[Pat]

Where?

[Tom]

What is it? Pvc.

[Josh]

Pvc.

[Tom]

That plastic. That white plastic.

[Chick]

Polyvinyl chloride.

[Tom]

Yeah. Whatever it is. You could. You drop those balls one year and they shoot off. Off school.

[Chick]

Was Willie that age where he went with you to the fireworks that you were wondering. Wow, there's all these parking spaces. I don't know what. What the. This is great. And you were there the wrong day for the fourth of July fireworks.

[Tom]

That's correct.

[Chick]

And Willie was.

[Tom]

I think Willie might have been at camp that year. But no, I. I drove over. Right across the street, actually, where they have great fireworks every year.

[Chick]

And on the 4th of July, usually.

[Tom]

It'S hard to park. I was going to park here and walk over.

[Willie]

Yeah, of course I was at camp. I was trying to stay away from a madman with a torch and welder's mask.

[Chick]

Come out here.

[Tom]

Right now. Yeah, they. They did the fireworks on a different night. That was a couple years ago. Yeah, absolutely.

[Josh]

That's when it started for you, that you went.

[Chick]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom]

Now you got to check.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Chick]

Well, you don't. You don't see the logic in, like, if the fourth of July is on a Thursday, They. They probably just have them on Saturday night.

[Tom]

Right. But again, Willie said some places that him. 4th of July this year was Friday. Some places did him on Sunday.

[Willie]

I think that was maybe a county fair situation. Maybe the last day of the county fair. It was cool, man.

[Tom]

I love them. I love them live. I love to see him. I think it's great. Don't care about it. But what. What was your classic. Your daughter's story that you. You finally bonded with her?

[Chick]

She was like, nine or ten. It's fourth of July, Elle. Do you want to go out and see the fireworks? And she got this, like, scrunch your face up. Aren't those on television? And I said, yes. Yes, they are, honey.

[Pat]

No.

[Chick]

Sure are.

[Pat]

No paternity tests.

[Chick]

And you are my daughter. Yeah, you're darn right.

[Tom]

They don't work on tv.

[Chick]

Let's relax. No, I'm not a. I'm not a fireworks guy. And I don't understand people who are fireworks people.

[Josh]

I don't see one firework. You've seen them all, right.

[Tom]

Yeah. Are you all just lesser people?

[Pat]

No.

[Tom]

You don't enjoy the.

[Josh]

I mean, seriously.

[Chick]

True.

[Josh]

They kind of all. They're just.

[Chick]

No, but they. Hey, there's the red flower.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I hope this gets a little more exciting at the end.

[Chick]

I like it.

[Tom]

All of a sudden, you hear that sound, and you think, like you're. You're here in the Mekong Delta. Incoming.

[Chick]

Oh, there's a flash of light.

[Tom]

Kirby, get the bar.

[Chick]

Here comes the boom. I love that big boom.

[Willie]

Oh, the finale.

[Tom]

Look at this. Red, white.

[Chick]

Are you all communists?

[Willie]

God, no. I honestly, I like fireworks. I'm just teaming up with them. It's more fun to go against you okay? Yeah, it's way more fun. Get you fired up, make you yell again.

[Tom]

I'm just saying, next year, July 4th, Saturday night, it's going to break all kinds of records. Fireworks, booze sales.

[Willie]

Are they going to give us Friday or Monday off if it's on a Saturday?

[Josh]

I don't know.

[Willie]

Because I like it when it falls on a weekday.

[Josh]

Friday, Monday.

[Tom]

That'd be nice.

[Chick]

I don't know how we got Thursday off this year. Yeah.

[Josh]

Oh, I know.

[Willie]

Because the big man had to trust.

[Chick]

Going to let you.

[Tom]

I'm not going to let you drive this ship without me here to steer it back to deep water.

[Chick]

Oh, yeah, we know. We did it for.

[Willie]

Remember that month. It was awesome.

[Chick]

I can drown. I can drown anybody.

[Tom]

Well, is that sports?

[Chick]

Yeah, oddly enough, it is. I'm tired. Aren't you tired?

[Josh]

I'm tired.

[Tom]

Coming up, a bizarre alt version of Chuck E. Cheese is on the way.

[Willie]

Hey, it's Mickey.

[Tom]

Rats.

[Chick]

Come on by.

[Tom]

Well, it's.

[Chick]

That's.

[Tom]

You're kind of right. We have something that I'm surprised. Doesn't happen a lot more often. Let's just say you're a. You own a swimming pool.

[Chick]

I own a swimming pool.

[Tom]

And you've got a naked stranger in it one afternoon. What do you do?

[Josh]

Well, I'll offer him a towel.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Chick]

Is it a guy stranger?

[Tom]

What do you think? I'm gonna say big, Fatty?

[Pat]

Fatty, Fatty.

[Chick]

Depending on what this bitch weighs.

[Willie]

How much water have they displaced from the pool?

[Pat]

Is there water?

[Tom]

We're gonna find out what happens to naked guy.

[Josh]

Okay.

[Tom]

In your swimming pool. When we come Back to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios where this is the Bob and Tom show.

[Chick]

Hey, thanks for listening this morning.

[Tom]

Got something to say? Send us an email Bob and [e-mail] Super Center.

[Chick]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. Christy Lee at the Silac insurance news desk.

[Josh]

Hello.

[Chick]

There's Pat Godwin in. Hello. Willie Griswold.

[Tom]

Hey, man.

[Chick]

We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Ace Cosby. I'm Jake McGee and Tom. We have a very special guest joining.

[Tom]

Us in the studio. Yes, comedian, firefighter, Mr. Dave Dyer has.

[Chick]

Joined us in the studio.

[Tom]

A professional firefighter.

[Dave Dyer]

Yes.

[Tom]

As well as a comedian. And how are things going at the firehouse?

[Dave Dyer]

Things have been good.

[Tom]

We.

[Dave Dyer]

We escape the 4th of July without any major stuff that happened.

[Chick]

Nice.

[Tom]

So. Yeah, yeah, the fourth of July. Probably a big night for you guys.

[Dave Dyer]

Last year we had a very big structure fire in the fourth of July of somebody disposing of fireworks that weren't quite out yet.

[Tom]

O yikes. Yeah. Yeah. I. I had dinner one time with a guy that was an ER doc the on 4th of July evening and he was getting ready to go to work where he knew he'd be sewing someone's eyeball back in and that sort of thing. Yeah. So it can be serious business.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Now I just got back thread.

[Chick]

Do you use to sew an eyeball.

[Willie]

Back in fishing line?

[Tom]

Oh yeah.

[Chick]

Something really like a 20 pound test.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Chick]

Okay.

[Tom]

Yeah. Now we. There were some incidents for me over the weekend. I took. I took a trip to England and back. It's amazing. Nice the contemporary world we live in. You can go places and come back. So it's great.

[Pat]

Yeah, they're called. They're called planes.

[Tom]

I mean you get to go place, then you get to come back. Right.

[Chick]

You see, See, that's my problem with going place, you guys. Well, why don't you go more places? I go. Well, when I go more places, all I want to do is go back home. So why I cut out the middleman.

[Tom]

But that's not. You actually want to go to England?

[Chick]

Yes, I do. I'm going to stay. Yes, it's going to happen.

[Willie]

I cannot wait.

[Chick]

Oh, yeah.

[Willie]

I. I love you. I want you around.

[Chick]

No, no, no.

[Willie]

But for your own sake, when you book that one.

[Chick]

Where's Chick? Oh my God, he did it.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Josh]

Is it hard to do that?

[Tom]

That?

[Chick]

What do you mean?

[Josh]

To become an. An English citizen.

[Chick]

Not if you have enough cash. You can do anything. Am I right, Tom?

[Tom]

You can stay underground?

[Chick]

You damn right I can. What?

[Tom]

Oh, sure.

[Chick]

Underground.

[Tom]

Oh, yeah. You don't have to. You take a trip there and just don't tell them. You just don't leave.

[Chick]

You know, guy can.

[Pat]

Just don't leave.

[Chick]

Fix me up a passport. My name and all the.

[Tom]

Not about a passport, but I know a guy that once you get there can keep you there talking to anything.

[Josh]

Really?

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

He knows.

[Chick]

I like. I like this more and more now.

[Tom]

Mr. Mister. I'm sure you've experienced many things as a firefighter. You come across odd things. So I'm at the Philadelphia airport on My way back.

[Willie]

We were just getting the show rolling.

[Tom]

A fire. No. Okay.

[Chick]

He was hot, though.

[Tom]

Yeah. Yeah. So American Airlines love them. Thank you very much. The greatest at wonderful, wonderful flights. But I. I had to pee. You know how that is.

[Pat]

Sure.

[Tom]

And so I walk into that. Once I get through, you'd be being not very welcome to back into my own country and get through TSA again. I go to walk into this giant men's room.

[Dave Dyer]

Okay.

[Tom]

And as I'm walking in, the urinals are apparently around the back. And I see. You can see the. There's like a foot high space in the stalls. And I see a guy sitting. Side saddle. I can just see his feet and they're facing that way. Oh, so he's like this on the toilet. Right. So. So now I. I don't know what this means. I've never seen this. I was wondering if it was some kind of weird code, like. Like.

[Dave Dyer]

Oh, like, join me in here.

[Tom]

Remember the. Remember the famous story where the guy had the wide stance? The politician? Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here we go. This comes to us from.

[Chick]

Wait a minute. There is somebody who's gonna. It is a code.

[Pat]

We have a sidewinder, people.

[Tom]

Oh, a sidewinder.

[Chick]

You filthy sidewinder.

[Tom]

Wouldn't that be. Wouldn't that be a great nickname name? Yeah. And they call me Sidewinder. Why is that? Oh, because when I crap, I go sideways. Okay. Now, Christie, I think, theorized perhaps his gluteal cleft went the other way, perpendicular to the standard American gluteal cleft. In other words, he'd have like a sideways. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah.

[Chick]

None of his pants.

[Tom]

Yeah, yeah, that'd be very. He goes. I'm thinking that the side saddle gent in the men's room was possibly using the toilet paper dispenser as a phone stand while watching videos while he was in the fac. I wouldn't doubt that.

[Pat]

I don't doubt that at all.

[Tom]

Yeah, yeah. That's just disgusting. Great.

[Dave Dyer]

I think we have it figured out.

[Josh]

Or he was doing something else. Watching.

[Pat]

Oh.

[Tom]

Oh, no.

[Dave Dyer]

Nobody watches.

[Tom]

Is this chapter called Jacket and Philly?

[Chick]

Maybe he was playing with himself in public.

[Tom]

That's even worse. In the stench of a men's room in an airport.

[Josh]

It's private. You've got the door closed.

[Chick]

You're the freak. Going around looking through the little crack. I'm not.

[Tom]

I'm not.

[Chick]

There's.

[Tom]

It was like a saying.

[Chick]

No, you're saying you went into the men's room and there was no way you could avoid it.

[Tom]

No. Yes. I'm walking in, there's a stall straight ahead and you can see like there's a foot long gap at the bottom of the stall door. And I see this guy's shoes are facing the other way.

[Willie]

Did you bend over at all?

[Tom]

Did you?

[Willie]

I don't believe I walked away.

[Tom]

I walked to the farthest urinal to get as far away from this freak as possible.

[Chick]

Freak.

[Tom]

You know, I don't know. I don't know the Philadelphia area. I don't know what kind of things going on.

[Josh]

Maybe he had a long layover. Gotta take care.

[Chick]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

Lonely looking at his phone. I'll bet.

[Dave Dyer]

Are you sure it was an actual human? Could have been a mannequin somebody put.

[Chick]

On there.

[Tom]

Just yet. Just to get people in and out of the bathroom quickly.

[Dave Dyer]

You know, that gag would have worked if you put him the right way.

[Tom]

Let's see now. Dear Bob and Tom show, you said you saw the guy sitting sideways in the toilet. Is it possible that he had just eaten an entire sweet potato pie and was bracing himself yourself? This gets back to Pat's song.

[Chick]

Oh, sure.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Great to have you in the studio, Willie. Thank you. Brian from Ohio. These are all interesting theories.

[Willie]

I don't know, maybe the toilet paper sometimes, like if there's a phone up there, there's a surface. So maybe, maybe he was eating a sandwich, he just set it there.

[Chick]

Oh, you're gonna set a sandwich there.

[Willie]

You set a sandwich there and then you turn over, you have a little French dip, you dip it in your shoe, go to town.

[Josh]

I think, I think the watching video thing, I think the guys nailed it.

[Willie]

Yeah, I think that's it. So.

[Pat]

But wouldn't you.

[Josh]

And I'm sorry, but have you ever.

[Pat]

Seen the face front though and put it on the back of the toilet?

[Josh]

Well, then your feet would be backwards and then people are going to think.

[Dave Dyer]

Oh, I think it'd fall off easier that way though.

[Tom]

But I mean if it was sitting on the roll, it could. And first of all, people that are using that are. They're the. The amount of whatever it is. E Coli is going to be a factor.

[Chick]

I think E Coli is the last of his.

[Tom]

There's some guy walk around with a terrible case of pink eye this morning.

[Chick]

Just saying. Yeah, we got a couple emails for you, Tom. Hello, Bob. And top show. Listening to Tom's TSA rant this morning was fantastic. No better way to start a Monday. Good to see Willie in the studio this morning. You guys rock.

[Tom]

That's from Kyle. And God. God bless the people who work at the tsa. I'm just saying, the one.

[Chick]

The one in Philadelphia, one gal.

[Tom]

The TSA needs. They need some standards. They need signs. Dave. I walk up to this place and she goes, you gotta put. You gotta put everything in your suitcase. My phone. Then she turns around and throws this dog bowl. No, put it in there. Yeah, well, I'm sorry, ma'. Am. I should have just pulled one out of my ass, because I. How did I know? Right? Why don't you put these where people can see them?

[Chick]

You're being truthful about her tone and.

[Tom]

Absolutely. She was a total bitch.

[Josh]

And you don't know that. You can't take your phone through, of.

[Tom]

Course, but usually you put it in a bin or a tray and they're right there for you. Right.

[Josh]

Okay.

[Tom]

And then. And then I think it's perfectly legitimate to say shoes on or off.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Dave Dyer]

So you want large signs with a large font saying, do this.

[Tom]

Yes.

[Willie]

They can put them.

[Tom]

And put them in 50 languages, whatever they have to. Or have someone politely say, by the way, signs.

[Pat]

That's a lot of signs. 50 languages.

[Tom]

Well, what does this.

[Chick]

Aren't there. Aren't there signs up there already? Why couldn't you see those?

[Willie]

There's not a lot of signs.

[Tom]

I.

[Willie]

With them.

[Tom]

There were none.

[Willie]

There aren't.

[Josh]

Usually they have somebody yelling instructions and.

[Tom]

And the shoe. The shoe thing. Thing. I get it. I understand it. And. And here, the lady, when she went through, they took one of those. Those wands, and they did a whole thing with her shoes. I don't know what that was all about. I guess. I don't know. So who knows? I'm just.

[Josh]

She was wearing steel toed.

[Pat]

Maybe there are magic shoes.

[Tom]

You know, one.

[Josh]

One more.

[Chick]

Hang on, Dear Tom, they're TSA out there. That big. There you go.

[Josh]

Another guy speaking. This is Marcus in Sedona, Arizona. I need to speak for Josh in his absence. For years, Josh has been a champion for human rights in the TSA line every single time. He even begins to suggest maybe we could be treated like humans instead of cattle. Tom jumps him and accuses him of being un American and hating air travel in general.

[Tom]

That's true. He does.

[Josh]

And now you've had the same experience.

[Tom]

I got the bad. The bad lady.

[Pat]

You got a bad lady.

[Chick]

You like your pilots. You like your flight.

[Tom]

I know. I love flying. It was great.

[Josh]

Josh is now vent. Vindicated. Thank you, Marcus.

[Tom]

No, I just. One bad apple doesn't spoil the whole bunch. Although the Three guys behind her who appeared to be doing absolutely nothing. They could have.

[Pat]

Looking at X rays.

[Tom]

No, they were. No, no, there were three guys behind her doing nothing. They could have maybe taken one of those bowls and put it out there for the people who need it. Right. And by the way, could you possibly clean that thing? It looked like it been used to. They were working plug up an elephant's ass.

[Willie]

Fourth of July weekend, man. You're not going to give them a.

[Tom]

Little bit of a. There was nobody there. It was me and no one else.

[Dave Dyer]

They probably go in shifts. Yeah, you, you came upon that woman.

[Tom]

Boom.

[Dave Dyer]

She taps out. The next guy comes up, they're all gonna be, oh, I'm sure she's right.

[Tom]

Tap out. You gotta get more food in that body.

[Willie]

You gotta take it.

[Chick]

You can't maintain that way.

[Tom]

20 minutes since your last cheesesteak.

[Chick]

Eating about every 40 minutes. Yeah.

[Tom]

Oh, wait a minute.

[Josh]

What?

[Tom]

Break time.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Chick]

Okay.

[Tom]

Dave Dyer's joined us in the studio. Dave. Well, we can't talk to you now, but thanks for coming. Yep, you got it.

[Dave Dyer]

Thank you for having me.

[Pat]

Good to see you.

[Josh]

It's always good.

[Tom]

He's gonna be at the the Rees Reese or Rhees Theater in Plymouth, Indiana. Oh, for the Stop Drop and Laugh fundraising event for the fire department. That's cool.

[Dave Dyer]

Yep.

[Tom]

That's nice. The Reese theatre. Go to rheesetheatre.org to find out more information. You'll also be at the Roxy in Rochester, Michigan on Friday, July 18th. Saturday the 12th is when you'll be at the Riis Theater in Plymouth. We're going to come back and find out what's the latest with you and what's happening. How much the shaving thing is happening and what parts of your body are clean and what aren't you. Got it.

[Dave Dyer]

I'm ready for for it.

[Tom]

Because you'll notice he's got a shaved head now and he got rid of the. He got rid of the mustache. Did the porn industry.

[Chick]

I love the mustache.

[Dave Dyer]

Porn industry was great.

[Tom]

But I'll explain. Okay, good. Looking forward to that. Once again, Dave Dyer is our in studio guest. That's Chick McGee across the.

[Chick]

Yes, it is. And I'll tell you about simply safe. What's feeling safe at home really mean to you? Used to be good locks and maybe an alarm that make a lot of noise if somebody broke in. But we all know true security is more a system that works to prevent that break in from ever happening in the first place. And that's where Simplisafe comes in. We even use it here at the Bob and Tom studios. Most security systems only take action after somebody's already broken in. Simplisafe has new active guard outdoor protection helps stop break ins before they happen. With AI powered cameras and live monitoring, agents detect suspicious activity around your property. If someone's lurking, agents talk to them in real time, turn on spotlights and can call the police. Proactively deterring crime before it starts. No contracts, no hidden fees. And in simply safe name, best home security system of 2025 by CNET. Monitoring plans start around a dollar a day, 60 day money back guaranteed. So go to simplisafetom.com and do we have a deal for you? 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and you get your first month free. That's simplisafetom.com first month free and 50, 50 off. There's no safe like simply say thank.

[Tom]

You very much, Chick McGee, we got a song coming out of Mr. Godwin. Etc. Etc. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee, Pat Godwin, Willie Griswold, Ace Cosby. I'm Chick. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Hello, Tom. We have a special guest.

[Tom]

He is comedian David Dyer. Dave also is a fireman.

[Chick]

Yep.

[Tom]

And you said you had a good fourth of July. No structure fires to deal with?

[Dave Dyer]

Major. No structure fires. We had one trash can on fire.

[Willie]

Nice.

[Dave Dyer]

That was it.

[Josh]

The homeowner put that out?

[Dave Dyer]

No. Well, the homeowner called and said, hey, my, my trash can at the end of my driveway is on fire. So we went just. With the water can. You pull out the water can? That's a can job.

[Chick]

They call a can job?

[Dave Dyer]

Yeah, it's a can job. You pull the water can out and you got to take, you know, a pick or something. You got to separate all the trash, make sure nothing else is burning in there.

[Tom]

Can chop. Sounds like something more expensive. Something more expensive in Vegas.

[Chick]

I tried to. I tried to. This is Andy to Christy, Christy's husband. I tried to talk Christie into the can. John.

[Dave Dyer]

Yeah.

[Chick]

On. On our honeymoon. Yeah.

[Tom]

That's going to be at least a diamond watch.

[Chick]

Yeah, well, I don't know. I'm gonna try again. Don't tell her to bite the pillow.

[Tom]

Okay. I'm sorry.

[Dave Dyer]

Take the pain.

[Tom]

Dave Dyer is gonna be doing a charity event at the Reese Theater in Plymouth, Indiana. The Stop, Drop and Laugh fundraiser for the fire department? Yep.

[Dave Dyer]

For the Plymouth volunteer fire Department.

[Tom]

And everything going okay with.

[Dave Dyer]

Everything's good with fire.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Okay. I notice you're. You have a different look. Last time you were here, you had this. This huge porno mustache.

[Dave Dyer]

Yeah, I did.

[Tom]

Gave you a lot of grief about it. But you've shaved the head, shaved the stash.

[Dave Dyer]

I have here the thing. Everything is so gray now that the salt and pepper from the mustache is now mostly salt. And I was telling Willie earlier, I did an experiment just a few weeks back. I said to my wife, I'm gonna grow everything out for a month and see what happens.

[Tom]

Oh, the beard, the whole deal.

[Dave Dyer]

Well, not. I can't do the beard because of fire, but I can do the mustache and I can do the hair. Let's see. I want to see how gray it is. I lasted eight days and I looked 93. And so I said, that's it. It's gone. It's just all gone on. We're going Buddhist. Face is clean. Everything's tight. It's the only way I can get by under 60.

[Tom]

I see.

[Dave Dyer]

Looking under 60.

[Tom]

Now the. Because you're a fireman, obviously you can't have a beard because you have to wear the face mask.

[Dave Dyer]

Yep, our mask.

[Tom]

But you can have a stash.

[Dave Dyer]

You can have a mustache as long as it doesn't impede that seal.

[Tom]

You've got to have that.

[Dave Dyer]

You got your face mask on. Your SCBA Self contained breathing Apparatus.

[Josh]

Very nice.

[Dave Dyer]

You have to make a seal on your face so you can breathe, so you can't have a beard.

[Josh]

Okay. So you noticed that he didn't have a mustache. Did you notice that your son doesn't have his?

[Willie]

We had a whole dinner together in Chicago.

[Josh]

He never.

[Willie]

He gave me hell about that mustache for months. Ended the dinner. It was about an hour. It was lovely dinner. It was great. Thanks for taking me on, pop. I go, he didn't say anything with the mustache. And he goes, oh, my God, I am so unobservant, aren't I? He didn't notice. My sister had a nose ring for two years. That was so funny. He tried to yell, you cannot have a nose ring.

[Tom]

You're my daughter. Daughter.

[Willie]

She's. I've had this for two years.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Wow.

[Chick]

Yeah, it's amazing.

[Pat]

Sally or Lucy, who has the nose ring?

[Willie]

Lucy had one.

[Tom]

Oh, Sally.

[Willie]

She'll get one in three weeks.

[Josh]

I'm sure as soon as she gets to college.

[Willie]

She's 18.

[Tom]

She's already snuck a tattoo. I know that.

[Josh]

Oh, she snuck a tattoo.

[Tom]

Yeah. And coming up tomorrow, I think there's an interesting article about tattoos and how they're misinterpreted by people.

[Josh]

What does that mean?

[Tom]

Yeah. And then the other day at lunch, Finn, who's 12 go, goes, now, can I get a tattoo, Daddy? And I said this. She. Then she actually goes to. She looks at Kelly and she goes, daddy said if I get a tattoo, he's taking me out of the will.

[Willie]

You're still using that line.

[Tom]

And I. I went, first of all, how do you even know about the will?

[Pat]

Well, Kelly tells me.

[Dave Dyer]

Mind your peas.

[Tom]

And kids. Yes. I think the fact marked in the calendar, the fact that she talked about the. The fact that it's. It's framed in the hallway when you walk in.

[Chick]

But in Kelly's defense, she refers to it as when the ship comes in.

[Tom]

What? She said, sure, of course. Yeah.

[Chick]

Things will be great then, by God.

[Pat]

And then just you wait.

[Tom]

And then.

[Chick]

And then just you wait, Finn.

[Tom]

Once again, she's 12 years old, in all sincerity goes, is that true? So, yeah. But no, I. I did not notice Will. He'd gotten rid of the stamp. But I think. I think it looks good without the stash.

[Pat]

Thanks.

[Tom]

I don't look good.

[Dave Dyer]

You look clean.

[Chick]

I don't know what to do with a person who refers to it as the stash. Yeah.

[Josh]

And why did you get rid of it?

[Willie]

It was just the classic. I was trying to shave and kind of trim it up, and then you mess up one part, and then you gotta try to even it out.

[Chick]

Been there.

[Dave Dyer]

That's why I told you I gave you some advice. You never trim the mustache with anything electrical.

[Willie]

Dave, I had the scissors, and I just didn't use it. It was one of those things where I was like, no, I can get this real. It was like. It was 11pm I shouldn't even have been doing it minutes.

[Dave Dyer]

I gouged mine countless times, jerking my head with an electric razor.

[Chick]

And what's that?

[Dave Dyer]

And just a big gouge out.

[Chick]

Next thing you know, you got the Hitler.

[Willie]

Yes, that's it. No, you try to even it out. You try to even it out.

[Tom]

Oh, now you can't do combo with the Hitler. Two things. Two things. One, I. I sent a picture of the square toilet in my hotel room. I sent it to Jason so you can get that posted on our social media.

[Chick]

There it is.

[Tom]

There you go. Look.

[Chick]

You tell me that doesn't look like a Wendy's hamburger.

[Tom]

That's. That's the toilet hotel.

[Dave Dyer]

You know what? Now I feel like I have to go and I want to try It.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Yeah. Isn't that weird?

[Willie]

It's like a Minecraft again.

[Tom]

I think it's what's the old architectural form follows function. In this case it's just. No.

[Dave Dyer]

Was it comfortable?

[Tom]

I think I sat on it once. I saved most of my activity for the airplane ride home, unfortunately.

[Dave Dyer]

Oh, that's nice. For the.

[Tom]

I almost got sucked into the toilet when it's flushed itself with me sitting there. Boy, that's an unnatural enema. But part two, I texted chick from the airport because I saw something that was so amazing. I, I, I could not get a picture of it. A guy walked by me at the airport.

[Chick]

Oh yeah. You said this and you did. I did not. Yeah, you didn't send.

[Tom]

I'm not kidding. He had a Hitler mustache and he was wearing a Hawaiian shirt, right? Oh that he had the classic look at. I mean Nazis need vacation too.

[Pat]

Yeah. They get a halt, they get a whole month.

[Willie]

I'm pretty sure the weather's nice in ARG this time of year.

[Chick]

Sure. Yeah.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Is that where your Nazis on vacation? I love that.

[Tom]

I mean isn't that, isn't that sort of the, the one thing that is, is really should never come back.

[Dave Dyer]

That particular Hawaiian shirts or that mustache?

[Tom]

Both.

[Chick]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Willie]

I think they try to balance each other out though. I think that if you have that, if you have the mustache, then you have the Hawaiian shirt to go. Hey, by the way, I have this. It's not for the big reason.

[Dave Dyer]

I'm taking the week off from hating everybody. I know I can't get rid of.

[Pat]

That discussion, but I'm on vacation.

[Dave Dyer]

Their shirt says open minded, but I.

[Tom]

I, as soon as I saw it, I, I wanted to double back and get a picture of the guy somehow.

[Chick]

Yeah, but the mustache says mass murderer. The Hawaiian shirt says. Yeah, last.

[Tom]

Yeah, we're gonna play some Jimmy Buffett song. Yeah. Who are these people? Yeah. I mean, come on. Okay, I'm sorry, I'm getting off track here.

[Chick]

Let's talk chaplain was first though, right? He had the mustache.

[Dave Dyer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Willie]

I thought that he did it for the great Dictator to make fun of Hitler.

[Chick]

No, he had it.

[Pat]

No, he had it all.

[Tom]

Was, Wasn't that called, was that called the toothbrush? Am I right?

[Chick]

I think it was.

[Dave Dyer]

Yeah, I think it is.

[Chick]

Yep. Yep, you're right.

[Tom]

As opposed to. But still, I mean there are certain things that you just don't want ever to come back.

[Willie]

No, I, I used to have a really cool haircut. Kind of short on the sides Little fade. And then Kim Jong Un just ripped it. Yeah, I can't have it anymore.

[Josh]

And your dad.

[Tom]

That is not a good look. Well, let's talk to Mr. David Dyer.

[Chick]

Yes.

[Tom]

A fireman, comedian, and let's see. Married guy, married guy, two adult daughters. Is that right?

[Dave Dyer]

I have two daughters. Yep, yep.

[Tom]

They're still married.

[Dave Dyer]

32 years now.

[Chick]

Wow, 32 years. Don't you know good and get out of it?

[Dave Dyer]

I know, I know. It's very expensive to get out of it. I love my wife. I love my wife, but you ever see these people? I saw a guy on tv, the people get so intention dramatic about their marriage. This guy's like, listen, I love my wife so much. I hope I go first. I hope I go first. You know, I can't imagine being on this planet for a minute without her. And I'm like, not me, man.

[Tom]

Again. I don't want to go first.

[Dave Dyer]

I love my wife. I love my wife. I do not want my wife to die, but if she does, there's a whole lot of stuff I get to do again. She hates roller coaster. I will be leaving the funeral and driving straight to Cedar Point if anybody wants to go. I'm getting sausage on my pizza again. And I'm wearing my Crocs and my bibs in public. Janice should have taken better care of yourself, honey.

[Chick]

I think that guy with the Hitler.

[Willie]

Mustache and the Hawaiian shirt, I don't think he's evil. I think that he's just freshly divorced and he has some opportunities that he.

[Tom]

Didn'T have a few years.

[Dave Dyer]

Always wanted this. Always, always wanted.

[Tom]

Sieg aloha, baby.

[Willie]

I have to do that.

[Pat]

Sausage on my pizza.

[Dave Dyer]

I'm getting sausage on my pizza again.

[Tom]

Oh, okay.

[Dave Dyer]

A whole lot of possibilities.

[Tom]

Have you thought about the. Have you thought about the. What you're going to say at the funeral? Is that.

[Dave Dyer]

What about Janice? Yeah, Other people step in. I've already said everything.

[Pat]

At least that's what she said.

[Dave Dyer]

Yeah, just go to the act maybe.

[Tom]

Maybe take your act and have chat. Gtp. Write a quick summary. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Josh]

GPT.

[Tom]

What did I say?

[Josh]

Gtp.

[Tom]

Sorry, That's a Trans Am.

[Chick]

Right.

[Tom]

If you're just joining us. Hello. Thanks for joining us. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Let's see, there's Ace, there's Willie, there's comedian Dave Dyer, Chick McGee, Pat. God, when we haven't heard a song from yet. And Christy Lee is at the Bob and Tom News.

[Pat]

I could do a Tribute to Dave.

[Chick]

Okay.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Chick]

Dave Dyer.

[Pat]

Yeah. Well, like Springsteen's first dragon.

[Tom]

Love it.

[Pat]

Of.

[Dave Dyer]

Nobody ever sings of I'm on fire.

[Pat]

It would be perfect for Dave since you're.

[Tom]

Since you're a fireman. You're. You're firefighter.

[Pat]

This is the first draft of this.

[Willie]

Sounds good, man. I'm sure it'll be great.

[Pat]

Breaking up leaves after school Burning in a P with diesel fuel oh, no Flames getting higher O I'm on fire My wife left me alone Think I'll make chicken while she's not home oh, no, I spilled the fryer. The house is on fire.

[Dave Dyer]

Hey, I got a story about something like this. Can I tell it?

[Tom]

Sure. Yep.

[Dave Dyer]

We had. You know, there's a. In the township I live in, there's a pretty strict ordinance about being able to burn stuff on your property.

[Tom]

Right.

[Dave Dyer]

I hear. Here it is. Now, take this down, Patty. You have to be 100ft away from your own structure. First of all, this is just to get a permit to be able to burn on your property. You got to be 100ft away from your own structure with some kind of form of extinguishment, whether it's an extinguisher, garden hose, whatever. You got to be 300ft from the road. You got to be 500ft from a structure owned by somebody else else. And we got a call about 10:30 at night in this neighborhood. This guy was burning a bunch of stuff in his backyard, and these neighbors all around him were just furious. And they're like, he's burning stuff. So we go there, and he saw us go down the street. He saw us coming. So he put it out with a hose and everything. And I come in the backyard, and the guy goes, I said, hey, were you burning stuff back here? Meanwhile, there's a pile of stuff that's smoking.

[Chick]

It's not fire anymore.

[Dave Dyer]

And I said, were you burning stuff back here? And he's sweating profusely. He goes, no, I just. A little thing. I just put. I just put it out. He's all out of breath. I said, why are you sweating so much? He goes, I got bronchitis. I'm like, I don't think that's a symptom. So I said, man, you got to put this out. You know, I told him the whole parameters and everything like that, but he just. He. And he had, like. It almost looked like he was playing the part Dick Van Dyke plays in Mary Poppins.

[Tom]

There's.

[Dave Dyer]

There's charred stuff all over his face. I said, man, you got you got charged stuff all over your face.

[Tom]

Do I?

[Dave Dyer]

I'm like, yeah, you do. So you can't do anymore now? I can't write him a citation, but if they do it again, then we can call the sheriff's department and they can do this.

[Tom]

So you can't have a bonfire in your backyard?

[Dave Dyer]

No. Well, no, you can have. There's like a. There's. There's a measurement. It's got to be, like, 18 inches high. You can have, like, a fire pit, like a recreational fire pit, but you just burn a big pile of brush. No, you got to get a permit for that.

[Tom]

Okay, so good. Good to know. Yeah. Thank you very much. Dave Dyer, fireman, slash comedian. And once again, Dave's doing a charity gig for the Reese. The Reese Theater in Plymouth, Indiana. Yep. To raise money for Stop, Drop, and Laugh.

[Chick]

That's the one with peanut butter in the inside, right? It is. You know, it's going to be this.

[Dave Dyer]

Saturday, I'll tell you.

[Tom]

Well, that's. That's great. Now, Christy, what's coming up in the world of news?

[Josh]

Uh, coming up, we have a lot of music news. We have Ozzy Osbourne in the news. We have Oasis in the news news. We have a Chuck E. Cheese story that's very interesting. And Pope Leo's boyhood home is back in the news. We have an update on that.

[Chick]

You know, they sell beer, Chuck E. Cheese, but you can only get two at a time. I know.

[Josh]

Well, that could be changing, Chick.

[Chick]

I hope so. No matter how much you argue with them, they'll only give you two at a time.

[Josh]

And speaking of cheese, does cheese give you nightmares? We'll talk about that.

[Tom]

That's interesting. We'll look forward to that story. And. And more. More coming up from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, the Bob and Tom Show. Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning.

[Pat]

Get a look at today's show on our YouTube channel.

[Tom]

Coming up.

[Chick]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show, Christy. Pat, would you care to share your conversation?

[Pat]

We're going to be very close.

[Josh]

Florida at the same time next week. I had no idea.

[Willie]

The girls are having issues this morning.

[Josh]

And now he wants me to take him to dinner.

[Chick]

Here's the thing.

[Pat]

I didn't say anything about dinner.

[Tom]

I said a lunch.

[Pat]

And what's Dutch and he could pay for himself.

[Josh]

Nobody.

[Tom]

Nobody goes. Nobody goes. Well, I'm gonna be my teenage son. I'm gonna be in Orlando. Nothing to do there. Are you kidding? You've got Universal Studios videos, Disney World.

[Pat]

You got a nice, cool hotel room and a pool and him on his iPad.

[Chick]

Christy, honey, this is Andy.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Chick]

Now, while we're in Florida, if you feel the need to go out with your friend Pat for six, seven weeks. Absolutely. That's absolutely fine with me.

[Tom]

You can find something to do.

[Chick]

I'll find. I'll. I'll struggle.

[Josh]

Actually, I do have a girlfriend in that same city, so maybe I will.

[Chick]

Come up super hot. Oh, okay.

[Tom]

Wait a minute. Are you trying to fix Pat up?

[Pat]

No, he's. No, she's not.

[Tom]

No, no.

[Josh]

I could see her, and still, I.

[Tom]

Just got the look.

[Chick]

Hey. Hey. Remind me not to give you the nuclear coach. How did you not pick up on that and then announced it?

[Tom]

We need to have, like, a sign in here. Mr. Dyer, you work. You're. As a. You're a fireman. You know, you walk into a business, and it'll say, it's been 376 days since our last accident.

[Dave Dyer]

Right.

[Tom]

I need to walk in here and know if Pat is seeing his girlfriend or not.

[Pat]

So I'd walk in.

[Dave Dyer]

Some kind of indication.

[Pat]

Either just made it 100 worse.

[Willie]

The sign. The sign would not help you at all.

[Chick]

Well, I know what you mean, though, Tom. Every day he's in there complaining.

[Tom]

Let'S.

[Pat]

Turn my phone off.

[Josh]

You know what? So actually, this is actually listening, because they are totally.

[Tom]

She's listening. This is actually. This is actually pretty funny. My sister Jan, who knows Pat, and. And Andrew, we went up to see him in. In. In Faversham in England. And Andy.

[Chick]

Andrew.

[Tom]

Andy. I don't want to get confused with Christie's Andy. In any event, are you married to him? She was asking how you were doing, and then she said, is he seeing someone? And Kelly said, oh, Pat has a lovely girlfriend.

[Pat]

Oh, well, I do.

[Tom]

Well, now, then. Then she said, but he's not allowed at our house because his son broke my favorite lamp. That's true.

[Pat]

Jimmy was five. Like your kids never broke anything. He ruined a whole basement with his ass one time.

[Tom]

Rem.

[Willie]

Pat, I'm barely loud in the house either, so me and you are on the same list, pal. I gotta send an email three weeks ahead of time. Get it approved, go to a notary.

[Tom]

It's very difficult now, to be fair. To be fair here. If we had a thing indicating what your girlfriend status was, and we could also have a thing about chick's mood. So you could walk in here. This is what he does.

[Willie]

And then he gaslights us into thinking that we're.

[Chick]

Why do you think that I'm moody. What have I ever done?

[Tom]

Let's get back to our guest, shall we? Oh, first of all. So Willie takes me to this place for dinner in Chicago. Yeah.

[Willie]

Club Lucky. Good pasta.

[Chick]

Oh, you're gonna have whacked Lucky. And then he goes.

[Tom]

He goes. He goes. See that. That table over there? I think those guys are all made men. I took one look and went, yes. They.

[Willie]

I walked inside, guys. It felt like that scene in Goodfellas where they're walking through the kitchen. It was just crazy. There was just too many Italians is.

[Chick]

All I gotta say.

[Pat]

Did you go to the bathroom? There was a gun taped up.

[Willie]

No, it was just cool. There was just red wine flowing. There was calamari all around. I felt like I was in, like, this big Irish weirdo. Big Irish English. Yeah, it was. It was cool in there, man, though, I loved it up there.

[Tom]

Good food. It was great. Now we have to talk to our guest. Mr. Dyer, I'm. I'm trying to think of it. And don't tell me you are involved in some weird cult, like, exercise thing. Wait a minute. Don't tell me.

[Chick]

Weird cult like exercise.

[Tom]

It involves throwing tires around.

[Josh]

I know.

[Tom]

What's it called?

[Josh]

CrossFit.

[Tom]

CrossFit. Okay.

[Dave Dyer]

Well, I have not been since the pandemic, but I still work out quite a bit.

[Tom]

Great.

[Dave Dyer]

And I did. A couple years ago, I did a program, I don't know if anybody's heard of it, called 75 hard. Is anybody?

[Willie]

Yes.

[Pat]

You and I were talking about it.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Dave Dyer]

Okay, so here's what it is. For 75 days, you have to pick some kind of a meal plan nutrient. They don't care what it is. But no cheat days. For 75 days, two workouts a day, 45 minutes, each of which one of them has to be outside.

[Tom]

Yep.

[Dave Dyer]

You take a progress picture of yourself. You read 10 pages of a book. You drink a gallon of water.

[Chick]

Water.

[Dave Dyer]

And no alcohol for 75 days.

[Pat]

What?

[Dave Dyer]

Yes. And let me. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something, Pat. If. If you stick to this thing and you don't stray, at the end of those 75 days, you will have throngs of people letting you know what a miserable piece of crap you've been.

[Tom]

For.

[Dave Dyer]

The last two and a half months.

[Willie]

Dave, you look great. Have a beer.

[Dave Dyer]

People say things like, we like fat Dave a whole lot better.

[Tom]

Oh, that's funny.

[Dave Dyer]

But here. Here's the thing about the fitness stuff. There's days, you know? Now at the age of 56, there's days, you Go into the gym. You're like, I just. I don't even want to be here. I don't even know if it's worth it.

[Tom]

It just.

[Dave Dyer]

And those are the days that I think about my Aunt Helen, because my Aunt Helen smoked two packs of Viceroy cigarettes a day.

[Willie]

Nice.

[Dave Dyer]

Drank a bottle of gin by 6pm and still lived to be 89 years old.

[Chick]

Wow.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Dave Dyer]

Now, let's say, conservatively, Helen started smoking. Smoking at the age of 20. That's 69 years of two packs a day. That is 1 million 7, 400 cigarettes. Oh, wow. Now, you factor in. They say that every cigarette takes 11 minutes off your life. So if you roll that into the mix.

[Tom]

Oh.

[Josh]

Oh, God.

[Dave Dyer]

If Aunt Helen had never smoked, she might have lived to be 463 years old. She would have outlived her pet Greenland shark. That's how old she was.

[Willie]

That was like one of those SAT word problem.

[Josh]

Yeah, it was.

[Tom]

That's great.

[Chick]

Wow.

[Tom]

Viceroy.

[Chick]

Just the hard numbers. Yeah. Wow.

[Tom]

I did notice this when I was in England for the weekend. A lot of smoking. Oh, yeah. Outside.

[Dave Dyer]

They're still at it.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Oh, really?

[Josh]

All over you.

[Tom]

And I just read that in Paris. I'm sorry. All over France. I think it was last week or the week before. It's now illegal to smoke even outside if there are kids around, so you can't smoke on a beach. The only exception are outsourced outdoor cafes days in Paris. Yes. And they said. They said the French are way up there per capita for adult smokers.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Like China, I believe, is a very strong number one. Very strong.

[Chick]

Very strong. But big gap to number two.

[Tom]

Yeah. But your aunt would be very comfortable.

[Dave Dyer]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom]

You used.

[Dave Dyer]

There was a standing rule if you had to get a hold of Aunt Helen for something, don't call after 6pm because she was smashed and she would swear at you and. And stuff like that.

[Chick]

So.

[Willie]

Dude, that's living, man.

[Chick]

So.

[Dave Dyer]

So, yeah, 6pm that bottle of gin was gone and she was hammered.

[Tom]

The rest.

[Pat]

That's a lot of booze. A bottle.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Dave Dyer]

89. That's a woman made a Kevlar, for gosh sakes.

[Tom]

Now, our guest is comedian Dave Dyer, and Dave is doing a charity project at a place called the Reese Theater in Plymouth, Indiana. Coming up, it's the Stop, Drop and Laugh fundraiser event for the fire department. That's going to be Saturday evening, July 12th. Then you'll be at the Roxy in Rochester, Michigan, Friday, July 18. A couple of interesting things going on there. Time now to check in with Christy Lee at the. Are you still over there? I can see you from here. She, of course, is at the SILAC Insurance news desk.

[Josh]

Well, we've been teasing this, but Chuck E. Cheese is opening a spin off arcade for adults. That's right. The company described the new venture, dubbed Chuck's Arcade, as a modern day love letter to the games and people who made Chuck E. Cheese great. It will include a mix of nostalgic arcade games like Donkey Kong and Mortal Kombat, as well as newer titles like Halo and Connect four Hoops.

[Willie]

Oh, cool.

[Josh]

Each arcade is overseen by one of the chain's iconic animatronic characters, including Chuck E. Cheese himself. Ten locations are opening at major malls across the US with more locations planned. The current locations include St. Petersburg Floor, Florida, Trumbull, Connecticut, Oklahoma City in Tulsa, Oklahoma, Victor, New York, Buford, Georgia, El Paso, Texas, Nassau and Salem, New Hampshire, and St. Louis, Missouri.

[Tom]

So it's what? It's Chuck's Cheese.

[Josh]

Chuck's Arcade.

[Tom]

Oh, Chuck's Arcade.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Tom]

And you're gonna have the big guys walking around in the suits.

[Josh]

That said, animatronic icons will be available. Yes. No, because I don't know if they're in the suits.

[Tom]

I hope they bring back the band.

[Chick]

It's all on video now.

[Tom]

Yeah, I love. But I love the band, the Puppet Giant puppet band.

[Josh]

Would it be like them playing Led Zeppelin or something?

[Tom]

No, I think it'd be more grungy. Yeah. For that era. Yeah. That'll be fun.

[Dave Dyer]

I mean, sound garden.

[Tom]

How does that differ from like Dave and Busters?

[Josh]

I don't think it does.

[Willie]

I think it's pretty similar. Yeah.

[Chick]

Well, Dave and Busters I think has bowling and more adult games, don't they?

[Tom]

I mean, Chuck doesn't have bowling, but Chucky, Chucky has. They have skee ball. I love, love playing skeeball there.

[Pat]

Yeah, I like that too.

[Chick]

Don't you have your own balls, Tom Ski?

[Tom]

No, I bring a. They're in a.

[Pat]

You have your own sk.

[Chick]

Yeah, they see him coming. You don't want to bat with him. Don't. Don't do it.

[Tom]

That'll be interesting. I wonder if that'll fly.

[Josh]

I don't know.

[Willie]

Yeah, I go, sounds like a good time.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Josh]

It's for you. That's.

[Willie]

I went to an arcade like a month ago for my little sister's birthday party. It wasn't. It was for my older sister's birthday party. She turned 33 who played mini golf. But I brought my little sister with me. We connect four hoops you shoot into a, a basketball hoop, you try to land, you got to do four in a row. I don't want to brag you guys. I kicked hearts ass. She could not keep up with me.

[Josh]

She's nine.

[Willie]

She doesn't have the Connect4 mindset that I do or my shot. I got a good follow through on that thing. I was going to let her win and I go no. She's got to learning lesson someday.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Tom]

I, I do love playing skeeball.

[Dave Dyer]

I do too. I love it.

[Chick]

I'm not your number one game there at the Chuck E. Cheese.

[Tom]

Yes. Not like whack a mole and I'll let them all loosen and then I'll play skeeball for an hour.

[Josh]

But have you ever played a video game?

[Tom]

Not really.

[Pat]

Guy for a while, right?

[Tom]

I played Pac man years and years ago.

[Chick]

He's very modest. He was the number two ranked Ms. Pac man player in the midwestern United States.

[Josh]

Wow.

[Tom]

In the early, in the early days you could memorize the thing. I'm sure it's much more sophisticated. The answer is no.

[Josh]

Okay.

[Willie]

When I was a kid, one time you told me you were the Pac Man King of Harlem. That's a direct quote from you.

[Tom]

No. Pat Pacman, King of Harbor Springs, Michigan.

[Dave Dyer]

Totally different.

[Tom]

There's a very big difference between Harbor Springs, Michigan and Harlem.

[Josh]

Is there?

[Tom]

Yes.

[Dave Dyer]

Oh yeah.

[Tom]

Oh. And in many, many ways.

[Willie]

Huge.

[Tom]

Yes. If, if a Martian came down here, they'd immediately make a quick observation. They wouldn't mistake one for the other. Let's see now. Oh, I know we had to say a special greeting from our friends at Raycon.

[Chick]

Raycons Everyday earbuds. That's right. Right. You can enjoy premium audio wherever you go. Maybe you're out at the gym. Maybe you're in Harbor Springs, Michigan. Maybe you're taking phone calls or relaxing to your favorite music while you're feesh. Or as my mother would say, while you're feeshing. Raycon's latest model is better than ever with 32 hour battery life, multi point connectivity, two devices at once. And Raycon has a quick charge function. 10 minutes of charging, 90 minutes of battery. They also come with active noise cancellation. Raycon start about half the price of other premium audio brands. And Raycons come in a variety of vibrant colors. Royal blue, Force green, bluish violet, cool mint, deep red. And raycons has that 30 day happiness guarantee return policy. So go to buyraycon.com tom today and get 15% off the already low price of Raycon's best selling everyday earbuds right now. 15% off off the best selling everyday [e-mail] Tom that's buyraycon.com Tom thank you very much, Chickster.

[Tom]

Don't forget the over the ear headphones from Raycon. They're great, especially if you're traveling with the kids. That'll keep them nice and quiet. And as they get plugged into their iPads, et cetera, et cetera, I highly recommend it. Coming up, we have some exciting stuff in the news, including a very bizarre way to perhaps get rid of constipation. You're gonna have to get a critter to help you. You'll find out. We are in the O'Reilly's Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Pat]

Add to or continue the conversation.

[Tom]

Check out the Bob and Tom show on Facebook.

[Pat]

Get the [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the SILAC insurance news desk.

[Josh]

Hello.

[Chick]

There's Pat. Hey, Willie Griswold. Good morning, Ace Cosby. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.

[Tom]

I have a question.

[Chick]

Yes.

[Tom]

We have comedian Dave Dyer here with us. Yep. And we've been talking to Dave. And you are a professional firefighter. I am as well as a stand up comedian. Yeah, we were talking about this Chuck's Arcade. I'm just reading about it over here. It's the Chuck E. Cheese people are gonna come out with. They've got I guess 10 of them set up. It's an adult version of Chuck E. Cheese. I'm trying to figure out if they're gonna bring the band back.

[Josh]

Yeah, I can't find that. I just that just because remember this is said iconic animatronic characters.

[Dave Dyer]

It's gotta be it because I mean that's a staple.

[Tom]

I can't get rid of it. I loved the band and they got, they got rid of it.

[Chick]

There is a document documentary about Chuck E. Cheese and the all the animatronic characters are still in like some warehouse in New Jersey.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Dave Dyer]

Did you see this?

[Tom]

Did you see that behind the Music about the Chuck E. Cheese band?

[Willie]

I missed that one.

[Chick]

Oh yeah.

[Tom]

It was the same thing. Drugs. Yeah. Women, you know. Oh yeah.

[Pat]

Come back.

[Chick]

Provolone cheese.

[Tom]

Oh yeah. And then you know, of course The. You know, I think the guitar player ran off with the organ player. Wife or something. It was. It was pretty nice.

[Dave Dyer]

40 different drummers.

[Tom]

Yeah. I forget which one. Munch, I think, was the one that could get you.

[Chick]

All right, good to know. And I had a buddy named Munch.

[Tom]

What is. It was a Jasper T. Jowls, wasn't that.

[Chick]

That was a hound dog, I think.

[Tom]

Yeah. Okay.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

I have a question I'm. I don't know the answer to. This was Discovery Zone, the place where you had the tunnels you climbed in? What?

[Willie]

I think so.

[Josh]

Oh, I know what you're talking about. Where they had the big ball pits. And then they'd have.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Dave Dyer]

Almost like a habit trail.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Dave Dyer]

Set up, right?

[Tom]

Yeah. Human.

[Dave Dyer]

And. And then you couldn't find your kid. And then they'd come.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Dave Dyer]

One of the cubes that had a big window. And you're like, all right, there she is.

[Tom]

I love that place. That was cool. Yep. I got a little claustrophobic up in.

[Chick]

There, but what do you think it would have been?

[Dave Dyer]

I think you were supposed to be.

[Tom]

I think that was the discovery.

[Josh]

I don't think you were supposed to be up there for the kids, like.

[Dave Dyer]

Confined spaces, training for the.

[Chick]

You went into the tubes.

[Tom]

Why haven't you confront.

[Chick]

I'm not supposed to do that.

[Tom]

You confront some kid and say, hey, buddy, I'm going this way.

[Dave Dyer]

There's a weight limit on those tubes.

[Chick]

Oh, yeah, there is.

[Dave Dyer]

Those joints aren't, like, welded.

[Chick]

You know who wasn't allowed in the Discovery Zone, too?

[Josh]

I know.

[Chick]

That fat Philly. I'll tell you that.

[Tom]

That fat and Philly.

[Chick]

That's right.

[Tom]

Okay, well, now you gotta listen every.

[Chick]

Minute or you're lost. Okay.

[Tom]

Yeah, well, we're. We're hanging out with a comedian, David Dyer, a professional fireman. Let's see now, what else are you. What else are you up to? We talked about your wife. She's doing okay.

[Dave Dyer]

She's doing good. I tell you what, she's doing better now. Let's me tell you why you're out of town.

[Chick]

No, go ahead.

[Dave Dyer]

Have you guys noticed the way the algorithm, you know, affects your life, tries to steer you in different directions? There was a short while back where. I don't know where it came from, but anytime I got onto my YouTube page, my feed was full of hot Colombian women riding horses.

[Chick]

Okay.

[Tom]

Wow.

[Willie]

Okay.

[Pat]

That's pretty specific.

[Dave Dyer]

I will say, since then, I've been become a very big fan of that, but I don't know where it came from. The only Thing I can figure out is that the algorithm was taking a look at what I was watching and said, this guy hasn't touched his wife in ages. Let's throw some Latina equestrians out there and see what happens.

[Willie]

You can only watch so many motorcycle repair videos until they recommend other things.

[Dave Dyer]

Now it's work worked. I've become much friskier. The problem is Janice can't figure out why I bought her a saddle for Mother's Day.

[Tom]

Now, I noticed you got the cat, you got the tattoo there on the left arms.

[Dave Dyer]

I have nine tattoos. They've all backfired.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Dave Dyer]

None of them has. Has meant what it was supposed to. This one right here is an arrow. In the shaft of the arrow says forward. Now I got that as a positive message to send to my girls. I'm like, look at. This is the only direction this family moves in. We only go, go forward. Since getting this, my oldest daughter's moved back home twice. So I'm gonna get one over here for the next time that says reverse.

[Tom]

Yeah, I. I'll have to find it. There's a. A tattoo story I was reading on the plane about tattoos sending the wrong message. People are.

[Chick]

I.

[Tom]

These guys. This bothers everybody. I will ask people if their tattoos will. All the time. Yeah, yeah, I'll say that's cool. What does that mean? What is it? What's the, you know, what was the idea behind that? And sometimes they've got great stories. Yeah. Sometimes while I was at the mall and everybody else was getting a daisy or whatever. And there's no meaning to it, but I like the ones that have some kind of profound meaning.

[Dave Dyer]

I have one on my right shoulder, which is from a Picasso sketch called the Matador. And it's. There's a few different versions of it. And there's one where the Matador is putting the. I think they're called the picadills or whatever in the. In the shoulder boulders. And the whole reason I got it, this is how deep I was at this point. I. I got it because I thought, you know, stand up comedy, it's like bull fighting, you know, I'm like fighting the crowd, you know?

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Dave Dyer]

And every now and then you gotta stab them.

[Tom]

You gotta.

[Dave Dyer]

And then you get to a point we realize, well, you're never gonna get everybody, you know, it's just not everybody's gonna like you. So this tattoo means absolutely nothing.

[Tom]

Now Chick's got some nice tattoos. No, no.

[Chick]

I hate people with tattoos. I've. I think it's filthy. I think it's a bad habit. I don't know why. Yeah, I do. I think I have nine. I lost track.

[Tom]

Do you officially have the new team?

[Chick]

No, I will not.

[Tom]

You're not going to put the commanders on there?

[Chick]

I might get a W, but I. No, I don't think I will actually. No, it's the Washington football team.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Chick]

It's as far as I'm going.

[Tom]

We had this story earlier in the year that tramp stamps are making a comeback.

[Willie]

Isn't that nice?

[Chick]

Are they? Oh, Tom, would you get a tramp stamp please? Can we have it like photoshopped to make it look like you've got a tramp stamp? Like a long. Like a longhorn steer With. With emerging.

[Tom]

Emerging from the gluteal cleft. No, no, no.

[Chick]

From a longhorn. One over each ass cheek. Because he.

[Willie]

The thing is though, he's so pretentious. He would get a tramp stamp of like Ernest Hemingway or something.

[Chick]

Well, he wouldn't get a cool one. He just ruined the whole thing.

[Pat]

Immovable feast.

[Chick]

He didn't say ass crack. He said gluteal cleft.

[Tom]

So I could go do the classic put a T on one butt cheek and an M on the other. Bend over and spell Tom.

[Dave Dyer]

Ah.

[Chick]

You know what?

[Dave Dyer]

That tells me you've thought about this. You've spent energy on it.

[Tom]

According to Ms. Melissa Martel, a Cleveland, Ohio based tattoo artist artist, the tramp stamp is making a comeback. Cool. It says the so called lower back tattoos. The tramp stamp, popular in the 90s, are having a quote renaissance. More of her clients are requesting this young women looking to embrace the once controversial moniker the butthead. What do you think? The butt hat.

[Chick]

I like that.

[Tom]

I think it makes kind of a statement.

[Chick]

Gas cap.

[Tom]

I think it says I'm easy. Go for it.

[Josh]

Is that what it says?

[Tom]

I think so.

[Pat]

Well, that's what it means.

[Chick]

What? What do you think if you see somebody with a tramp stamp and they smoke cigarettes?

[Tom]

Oh, you're. You're.

[Pat]

And they have a drink.

[Tom]

They have a drink.

[Dave Dyer]

You got a good chance.

[Chick]

Boom.

[Tom]

Yeah. She's probably carrying condoms.

[Chick]

Oh yeah.

[Josh]

Oh my gosh.

[Chick]

Her nickname. Cinch for the whole team.

[Josh]

Speaking of the butt.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Uhoh.

[Chick]

Talk to me.

[Josh]

Doctors in Vietnam say they removed a live eel from a man's abdomen.

[Chick]

Okay.

[Josh]

The 34 year old was admitted to the Hiha District Medical center with Hiha Hospital.

[Chick]

Can I help you?

[Josh]

With severe abdominal cramps. An X ray revealed a foreign body in his abdomen as well as some.

[Chick]

Spicy food for lunch. Well, I shoved an eel in my ass.

[Tom]

But these stories is. These people never admit it.

[Josh]

No.

[Tom]

The doctors have to get surprised.

[Chick]

It's a million to one shot, doc. I fell on an eel.

[Josh]

He also had an intestinal perforation and peritonitis.

[Tom]

Oh yeah?

[Chick]

Well, the eel doesn't want to go in there. He's gonna start biting.

[Josh]

Operated on the patient and discovered subsequently it removed the four foot long eel. Not four foot foot long eel. Sorry. The patient stabilized after surgery. Could not provide, as Tom said, a clear answer as to how the eel wound up in his abdomen.

[Chick]

I do anything to hear him say, you got me.

[Josh]

Physicians suspect the animal crawled from the man's anus to his colon, bit through the intestine and entered his abdomen.

[Willie]

I mean it's kind of a one way road down there.

[Josh]

Yeah, right.

[Willie]

For him to go.

[Tom]

It's rough.

[Josh]

Gosh.

[Tom]

And so I, I. We had a similar story. So I went back to look at that one and in that case, it apparently is a. There was a thing in that culture that. Here's the headline. Man puts eel and butt to relieve constipation.

[Josh]

Oh, that'll do it.

[Tom]

And apparently this is a. What you like. An old, old remedy.

[Dave Dyer]

Thousands of years they've been doing it.

[Chick]

An old wives tale, I guess.

[Tom]

But yeah, and I'm not kidding.

[Chick]

We had a friend who heal or.

[Pat]

I'm sorry.

[Chick]

Thank you. We had a jump in the gun.

[Tom]

Wait a second. Can you introduce yourself to our guest, Dave Dyer.

[Pat]

I thought my recording was off.

[Tom]

Hey, stay on.

[Pat]

Who knew?

[Chick]

Who are you, buddy?

[Pat]

Oh, I'm Luigi. Accusatory. My girlfriend Gina. Statutory. She's asleeping at all. Anyway, let's sing about this.

[Chick]

How is 11th grade Virginia? So going well, she's in the college. Oh, okay.

[Pat]

Please.

[Tom]

So. So the guy's got a. The guy has this eel in inside his intestines. It's disgusting. I'm sorry.

[Pat]

One of the nurses starts to squeal when they found a big eel that's amore. How could he not have feel alive swimming eel that's amore. Did he fish too? It grew, could not poke through. Oh, it was a glory. Impatience say. Came up the other way. And he's sticking to his story.

[Chick]

Everybody.

[Pat]

See you later, firefighter.

[Tom]

And here's another one. This is from the Straits Times. S T R A I T S. I'm not sure which straits these are. Are not the Mackinaw Straits.

[Chick]

Oh, something in Michigan, I'm sure.

[Tom]

A 30 year old man from the country of India, an Indian national. It says Was hospitalized for severe abdominal pain. He inserted a large eel into his anus. During emergency surgery, they discovered a 26 inch long eel had bitten through his rectum and colon to get to the abdominal cavity. Doctors also extracted a lemon at the same time.

[Chick]

Huh.

[Dave Dyer]

Yeah.

[Josh]

You gotta feed your eel.

[Pat]

Put some lemon on that eel.

[Tom]

It's pretty good, I think. Yeah. I think everyone knows. Yeah. What do you call that? Not a spritz. What's that Little peel of an eel. Of a zest. A zest? Yes. You want to put a little zest when you cram an eel up.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Wow.

[Willie]

Hey, when life gives you lemons, shove them somewhere.

[Tom]

It's just bizarre. But apparently this and this, this says doctors think that some young men have a tendency to do this for unusual sensations using sex toys.

[Chick]

Unusual.

[Tom]

And also, also an old wives tale about clearing up constipation.

[Chick]

We had a friend who used hot dogs.

[Tom]

That was for hemorrhoids.

[Chick]

Cure or help. Hemorrhoid. Well, it's kind of the same cure or help avenue. Yeah, he swore by it. Yeah.

[Tom]

His doctor would have him place frozen hot dogs in that area. Oh wow.

[Chick]

Back in there.

[Tom]

Then he would clearly mark them when he put them in the refrigerator, which for what purpose? It's like I have at my house. The peanut butter for the dogs. Very clearly marked. Yeah, that can be a problem. Well, we're hanging out with a comedian, David Dyer. He's here with us. We'll talk with David, find out what's going on with him. We have more music coming up from Patty G. I hope and lots of other delights, including this, the Baba Tom show sponsored by BetterHelp. Let's give this a good positive spin. Seeking therapy is a good thing. And maybe you're at work and the emails are piling up, you're stressed out, it's summertime, you got to get some. So much pressure. This is where therapy and good counsel can be extraordinarily helpful. And the largest online therapy provider in the world is a company called Better Help. And what do they do? Well, they hook you up with a therapist and the therapy is done online. So you can do it like a zoom call. You can do it like a regular phone call. You could even do a texting back and forth. It's up to you. And by the way, millions of people, 5 million people have been served globally by BetterHelp. Over 30,000 therapists are now working with Better Help. So what you want to do is check them out and find out, for example, their app store rating 4.9 out of 5. So then they've got more than a million reviews. So check this out. If you've been thinking about therapy and one of the hurdles is finding someone and then get going across town to see them and all that stuff, this makes it a lot easier for somebody that can be very important. So get all the [e-mail] add the/BT show that'll knock 10% off your first month. So once again, it's betterhelp.com BTShow and I should mention this, they have, have mental health professionals with a very diverse variety of, of expert fields of expertise. So if there's something very specific that you need to discuss, they can help you and steer you in the direction of someone who is an expert at that. And if that person doesn't work out, there's no fee for switching it up. So better help H e l p betterhelp.com btshow get rid of that stigma. It's okay to talk to a therapist. In fact, it can be extraordinarily really helpful. So we'd like you to check it out. BetterHelp.com BT show coming up, an odd story about Pope Leo. Good kind of, kind of cool news, actually. Yeah. And then on a different note, this poor guy had an encounter with a BMW. Very nice automobiles, certainly, and very nice motorcycles. Unfortunately, he got one into the groin area. We'll, we'll see what happened. The word crushed is in the headline. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Truck Show.

[Chick]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the SILAC Insurance news desk. Hi, there's Pat Godwin.

[Pat]

Hello.

[Chick]

Willie Griswold.

[Willie]

What's up, man?

[Chick]

We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. I'm Chick McGee stretching it out. Ace Cosby's here. And also, Tom, we have a special guest.

[Tom]

Batman is comedian Dave Dyer. David is also a firefighter. Professional firefighter. Firefighter. And I know you're doing a special benefit project coming up to benefit the the firehouse and the folks at, in Plymouth, Indiana, at the Reese Theater. Coming up. Is that, that's this Saturday?

[Dave Dyer]

This Saturday, yeah.

[Tom]

Wow. That'll be great. Looking forward now, what else is going on in your life? Do now when you're, when you're at the firehouse, obviously there's downtime, right? Sure. Yeah. Do you cook?

[Dave Dyer]

A little bit. There's just, we're very small fire department, so there's just two of us on duty all the time. We have paid on calls who come to the scene and everything like that. So there's just two of us at the firehouse. So it's a lot of microwave meals, you know that. Frozen pieces. I know, I just killed it for you.

[Chick]

I'm sorry.

[Josh]

You're supposed to have.

[Dave Dyer]

No, listen, okay, I'll lie to you.

[Tom]

We have ribs.

[Dave Dyer]

We got a whole spread pasta. There's tons of food left over because there's only two of us. But we make.

[Tom]

But I mean, wouldn't you have time to learn how to be a really good cook? Yeah, well.

[Dave Dyer]

Or train to save lives. That's the other thing.

[Chick]

Do with your time.

[Dave Dyer]

No, we don't. They don't allow that anymore. Well, at least on new fire stations they don't. No. OSHA I think came down and no more poles. No more poles. I don't think cuz you can get hurt. For gosh sakes.

[Tom]

A chick and I have both gone down a fire pole.

[Chick]

Sure did.

[Tom]

There's a fire house not too far from here. We were able to go down.

[Dave Dyer]

Yeah, well, the. The existing ones I. They still use, but I don't think. And I. And someone can correct me if they want. I don't think OSHA allows you to put new ones in. If you're building a new well, you.

[Josh]

Can hurt an ankle running downstairs.

[Dave Dyer]

Sure you can.

[Pat]

Come on.

[Tom]

I think it was the fact that the guy above you with all the equipment on is going to land on your head, right? Yeah.

[Dave Dyer]

Squish you.

[Chick]

There's no.

[Dave Dyer]

It's a squish factor that we're talking.

[Chick]

Do you want to talk to. Do you want to say hi to the other firemen that's with you all the time or is it just one guy?

[Dave Dyer]

Or just one guy.

[Chick]

Rotate.

[Dave Dyer]

Well, I could get into the weeds during the day. Our chief is there. So it's me and the chief respond. Then he goes home at 4:30. One of our paid on calls could be Derek.

[Pat]

Who's the most fun?

[Tom]

I have a question. They're all fun now. Do. Do you have a matching tattoo to any of them?

[Dave Dyer]

No, no, no, no.

[Tom]

Are you the only one that has tattoos?

[Dave Dyer]

No, I think a couple other guys have a few tattoos. No, no sleeves. None of the guys have sleeves.

[Chick]

That's a commitment.

[Dave Dyer]

Yeah, it's a lot of commitment. A lot of money.

[Tom]

Oh, you mean the tattoo, the sleeve.

[Dave Dyer]

No, we're sleeveless in our shirts.

[Pat]

We're gonna sing some hair.

[Dave Dyer]

We work on buys and tries a lot.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Chick]

To make.

[Tom]

Do you have a little gym There, do you.

[Dave Dyer]

I have a few pieces of equipment that I'll. I just bring some stuff in sandbags.

[Chick]

So when there's just the two of you there, you go out to the gym and pump each other. Is that what you. Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

Make a little pasta dish, wine.

[Tom]

Now on the count.

[Dave Dyer]

Guys are not coming on the department, I can tell you that. Tell you what you're not going to do in your next career.

[Tom]

Now, I know on the, on the calendar you were telling me you were posing for this calendar with the firemen from your district and you're holding like a coffee cup right there in front of the action. Sure.

[Dave Dyer]

The action. It's 24 ounce or two.

[Tom]

Oh, nice.

[Pat]

So it's just the two of you have a whole year to fill.

[Tom]

Yes.

[Pat]

The two of you.

[Dave Dyer]

Yes. Let me tell you. Let me tell you a little story.

[Tom]

Fire.

[Dave Dyer]

This is one of the. One of my. Truly, one of my favorite things about being a firefighter is in October in Michigan, we go to schools and talk to the kids about fire safety and we go through all the stuff, you know, how to keep themselves safe. Safe in the event. And one of the things we do is we tell them when they're in the bedroom, few things. It's very important you keep your door closed, you know, to keep the smoke and the fire out. And then we tell them to find soft stuff in their bedroom to put at the bottom of the door in case there's smoke.

[Chick]

So that I have.

[Dave Dyer]

And then we also tell them if they can get their window open, to throw some toys out. Because we're always walking around the structure and if we see toys on the ground, we're going to know there's somebody.

[Tom]

Up in that room.

[Dave Dyer]

And so we go through everything and we go back and review. And I'm talking to a class of first grade kids. It's one of the best things that's ever happened in my life. And I'm reviewing the bedroom stuff and I'm like I said, are we sleeping with our bedroom doors open and closed? Closed. What are we putting at the bottom of the door to keep smoke out? Soft stick stuff. I said, what are we throwing out the window?

[Chick]

Toys.

[Dave Dyer]

And there's a little kid in the.

[Tom]

Back of the room.

[Dave Dyer]

First grader looks at the kid next to him and goes, I'm throwing all.

[Tom]

My crap out that window.

[Dave Dyer]

That right there is your valedictorian. Smartest kid in the room. I'm throwing everything.

[Josh]

Yeah, I don't want nothing.

[Tom]

Yeah, that kid's going to have his own tech company 20 years from now.

[Chick]

Little Billy Gates.

[Tom]

Oh, that's great. Well, we have Christy Lee at the SILAC Insurance news desk. What else is happening?

[Josh]

We had some big news over the weekend in the entertainment world. Ozzy Osbourne gave his final live performance at a hometown show for 40,000 fans. The original lineup of Mr. Osborne's band, you'll all recall, is Black Sabbath performed at Villa Park Soccer stadium in their home city of Birmingham, England, July 5. The 76 year old, who's been diagnosed with Parkinson's, sang from a black throne that rose from under the stage. The band ended a short set with Paranoid, one of its most famous songs. He was joined for the first time in 20 years by bandmates Tony Iommi, Geezer Butler and Bill Ward.

[Chick]

Wow.

[Tom]

All of them the original sabs.

[Josh]

Yeah, the original sabs.

[Tom]

And he's. He has stated that this is his last. Well, so we'll see. Yeah, but it was a big deal.

[Pat]

Yeah, it was a big deal.

[Dave Dyer]

By Short Set. How many songs?

[Tom]

I got the set list right here.

[Chick]

Oh, okay. Oh, you do?

[Tom]

Yeah, he did some solo stuff. He did. I don't know. Mr. Crowley, suicide solution, Mama I'm Coming Home, and Crazy Train.

[Chick]

That's a good one.

[Tom]

Then he went into War Pigs, Nib, Iron man, and Paranoid.

[Josh]

Well, that's not a. That's a pretty good set.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Josh]

That's a short. I thought you meant like three songs.

[Tom]

Broke it up.

[Josh]

Oh, they break it up.

[Chick]

Oh, no.

[Willie]

That was. You nailed that. I know you can sing like that.

[Chick]

You were right there.

[Willie]

You're in the pocket, man.

[Pat]

Oh, now, Mama, I'm coming home. His mom's not alive, right?

[Willie]

No.

[Chick]

Oh, God, no. She'd be 190. Yeah.

[Josh]

Well, he's coming home to the Big mama.

[Chick]

Big mama, Big dad.

[Tom]

I have. Apparently a lot of the stuff that was on YouTube has been played pulled, so I haven't. I tried.

[Chick]

Oh, I bet they're going to package it somehow. I don't know how.

[Tom]

Did you see any of it?

[Chick]

I did not.

[Tom]

Okay. Yes. I don't know if it was any good. So here's a notice saying videos pulled down because of a ppv. What does that mean?

[Willie]

A pay per view.

[Josh]

Oh, oh, they're going to put it on pay per view.

[Willie]

Man, I hate how fast I got that. I've spent a little too much time on Only Fans. I think I nailed that real quick.

[Chick]

Want to see, see, want to see more of me?

[Willie]

I get the PPP PPV pov, which is the pay per view point. Look, she's just right there in the room with me.

[Chick]

Chick. That's right.

[Willie]

Good time listening right now. I shouldn't have said that.

[Chick]

She loves you.

[Pat]

Is she live or is that a. I'm sorry.

[Willie]

No. Yeah, she's.

[Chick]

She's.

[Pat]

No, I don't mean alive. I mean she live while she's.

[Willie]

Oh, no, it's not live.

[Pat]

It's a pre.

[Willie]

Recorded.

[Pat]

Pre recorded?

[Chick]

What are you like dead women? What are you talking about?

[Pat]

I didn't say that.

[Tom]

Mr. Day. Dave Dyer. I want to play something for you. There's. I don't. Does this give the backstory? Does the whole story. This is just the phone call. Okay. There's a story behind this.

[Josh]

Ozzy was visiting.

[Tom]

This. This may be a little redundant. We were talking with. Ozzy's been in the studio with us a couple times.

[Willie]

Okay.

[Tom]

But the last time we talked to him, it was on the. It was on like a satellite phone thing so we couldn't see him. And it was extremely difficult to understand him. And everyone else in the room was laughing and.

[Chick]

That's not true.

[Josh]

Yeah, it was.

[Chick]

I was crying. I was laughing so hard.

[Tom]

Yeah. I remember Bob.

[Dave Dyer]

He went to the next step.

[Tom]

Bob actually ducked down below the desk there. Couldn't take it because he. He could not stop laughing. Because I would ask a question and then it was just total gibberish.

[Chick]

Yep.

[Tom]

And I would pick up a lot. Sometimes I'd pick up a little bit. But it was kind of hard to do an interview because there was no sort of conversational component. Because I had no idea what he was.

[Chick]

There were no words.

[Pat]

Did he know why you were laughing?

[Tom]

No, but we were. Oh, so these guys were trying to.

[Chick]

We were every man for himself is what we were doing.

[Tom]

So we. And then I think. Does this explain the whole thing? No. Okay, I'll explain it. And then. So Dean took the recording. So all of the words you hear in the following piece are really Ozzy Osmo.

[Dave Dyer]

Okay, good.

[Tom]

None of that's fake. But the setup. Etc is. Is fake. But the. The voice of Ozzy is the actual Ozzy Osbourne. And here we go.

[Chick]

Paparazzi pizza. Can I take your order? Yeah. Okay. And we just got to the mad monk Meatlobber, right?

[Tom]

Yeah. Gonna be about 45 minutes. Meatlobby. There you go.

[Josh]

That was the interview of Ulta.

[Tom]

That's a great moment.

[Willie]

Mark.

[Tom]

Nailed that. But. And then do you remember the other thing? One time he was here. Ace. I know you'll remember this. And they used to allow smoking in the studio. And Ozzy was smoking cigarettes the whole time. And when he left, someone came and knocked him there and said, can I have his ashtray and cigarettes?

[Dave Dyer]

Oh, really?

[Tom]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. And we gave him to some. They're probably out there. They're probably on ebay somewhere. Yeah. Yeah. So.

[Dave Dyer]

But yeah, I wonder what they went for.

[Tom]

And the other thing that was interesting was sometimes when you have. Let's just say, for example, Dave, you were a big rock star.

[Chick]

Okay.

[Tom]

And then you do those. Those identifiers where it's, you know, hey, hi, this is Dave Dyer, and I love the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

And, you know. But you. You hand him a piece of papers. Hey, would you mind reading these? And, you know, plug the show and with Ozzy. I went in there and I forget who the engineer was. Was it you? I. I don't remember. I forget. No. I forget who was recording. I. They don't let me touch anything.

[Dave Dyer]

But they were going to have him do some of these.

[Tom]

I don't. I think it was pre Mark. It doesn't matter. But whoever it was, you know, I hand Ozzy the piece of paper.

[Chick]

You know, hi, this is Ozzy Osbourne, you know, and.

[Tom]

And his. And his road guy goes, this isn't going to work. He. He can't really read.

[Chick]

So he goes, he can't really read.

[Josh]

Can't really read.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Willie]

So he's too busy rocking to read.

[Tom]

Yeah. Willie, there's your.

[Chick]

He's got a. He's got a rock.

[Tom]

Willie's got her new children's book. There you go.

[Josh]

It's great.

[Tom]

And don't get me wrong, Azie was really sweet, a really nice guy.

[Josh]

He was sweet and.

[Tom]

But he. So he goes, well, to do what we had do to go. Literally. I'm not kidding. Repeat after me. Hi, I'm Azie Osbo. We probably have that somewhere. I should dig up that tape. I don't know if it's in there, Jason. I'll have to find it. Listen.

[Willie]

Go listen to War Pigs when you drive home. It's the greatest.

[Chick]

That's.

[Willie]

The singing on it is incredible.

[Tom]

Singing's amazing.

[Willie]

Let's try to remember him that way, not by being a bumbling illiterate.

[Chick]

I want to know what he's doing now. No, just listen to the music and enjoy. Enjoy it. I do the same thing with Elton John. I don't go past Caribou. Yes.

[Tom]

And Geezer wrote the lyrics.

[Chick]

Whatever, man.

[Tom]

Great.

[Chick]

I like the song. I don't care who wrote it or what equipment they were using. Or what the barometric pressure was outside the studio. I just enjoy the song.

[Josh]

And also over the weekend, Oasis ended a 16 year hiatus, kicking off a reunion tour in Cardiff, Wales.

[Chick]

You got reasonable young men playing.

[Josh]

And traveled to the Welsh capital from around the world to witness the band's first performance since its acrimonious split in 2009. Oasis returned to the stage amid a deafening roar from a crowd of over 60,000. They walked up holding hands, which was very sweet. I saw that. Yes. I saw a video of them backstage.

[Tom]

They came kind of arm and arm.

[Chick]

What would you do if they, much like you and your brothers, they came out on stage just wearing towels around their neck, totally naked, playing Bear Man.

[Tom]

Now you got to explain to Mr. Dyer.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Up at the Cottage Cottage in Michigan. Northern Michigan. Northern Michigan. Right there. Right there by Five Mile Creek. Right on Lake Michigan. Beautiful view up there and lots of money. We did not have a, a clothes dryer at the time. Okay, so you'd hang stuff up. Sure. So we reach issued a top towel and then you'd get a clothespin with your name on it.

[Chick]

Yeah.

[Tom]

And then when you were, when you were done swimming, you'd go outside and you'd hang up your towel. Okay. So we discovered that if you took your towel and put it around your neck and put the clothespin here, you could become a superhero, right?

[Chick]

Sure.

[Tom]

The superhero was Bear Man. I would become Bear man and terrorize my brothers.

[Josh]

Because you were naked?

[Tom]

Because you're naked, you're upstairs, you take your suit off and you're naked.

[Josh]

Were your brothers.

[Dave Dyer]

How did you threaten to terrorize them? That's what I want to know. Because I was actually naked.

[Tom]

I was like a 10 year old boy and they were significantly older, much more mature, and I'm running around going Bear man and diving on them.

[Chick]

I got.

[Tom]

That's what brothers do. Naked.

[Willie]

That's not what brothers do, Man. I had brothers growing up.

[Dave Dyer]

I love how you said you were issued a towel. Like you guys were all lined up like you. Tom, here's your towel.

[Tom]

Oh, no, I was. You only got the one.

[Chick]

This is your towel. There are many like it, but this one is yours.

[Josh]

Did you have different colors? Like each one of you had a different color?

[Tom]

No, no, they were rotating on it. I preferred the striped ones. The, the, the red, black and white.

[Dave Dyer]

Stripes make you look less.

[Pat]

Fat.

[Chick]

Right.

[Dave Dyer]

He was a fat kid with stripes.

[Chick]

Do real trip. I know there are pictures of.

[Dave Dyer]

I should have worn stripes.

[Chick]

Not only is my mustache awful, but Tom weighed like 3, 400 pounds I've done at one point.

[Dave Dyer]

What's your top weight ever, Tom?

[Tom]

Probably 230, maybe.

[Dave Dyer]

Yeah, 260 for me.

[Chick]

He's got chunky Man. Chunky?

[Josh]

When did Tom ever get chunky?

[Pat]

Well, there's some photos.

[Chick]

That one without Junior in there looks chunky.

[Tom]

Okay, but I wasn't bare man then.

[Chick]

No. Oh, God.

[Josh]

Oh, God.

[Dave Dyer]

Your weapon was gone all of this time.

[Josh]

I thought all your brothers were bare Man. Just you?

[Chick]

Yeah. That's kind of how you presented.

[Josh]

Presented it like all three.

[Dave Dyer]

That would be bare men.

[Tom]

Yeah. See, they were significantly older.

[Josh]

That's why I always thought it was.

[Pat]

Why we always thought it was creepy.

[Chick]

Did they threaten, as they should have?

[Tom]

Did they threaten.

[Chick]

Threatened to beat your ass if you wouldn't stop?

[Tom]

Oh, yeah. The greatest beating I ever got in my life. Did you have brothers, Dave?

[Dave Dyer]

I had three older brothers. I was a brute. I was a contusion. Until they all moved out.

[Tom]

You. I can. You can prove this? When you go, do you ever see your brothers?

[Dave Dyer]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Okay, here's what you do. Say one of your brothers is having a major transaction on a toilet. Okay.

[Willie]

This is crazy, too. This is crazy, too.

[Chick]

I gotta do that.

[Tom]

Go ahead.

[Chick]

Keep this as an adult.

[Tom]

So he's sitting there and then you walk in and pee between his legs.

[Dave Dyer]

Never done that. Criminal.

[Willie]

I mean, it's so homoerotic and incestuous.

[Chick]

CPS will be at the door and so hot. Oh, my God. I can't stand it. Pat, am I right?

[Tom]

Has that ever happened to you?

[Pat]

No.

[Josh]

No.

[Dave Dyer]

We had. Listen to this. This was the. The idiotic design of the upstairs bathroom that my parents put in at one of our houses. We four boys, always playing tricks on each other, always beating each other up. We had a very long bathroom and the toilet was at the far end of the bathroom. So without fail, when the other guy was doing number two, you unlocked the door and you kept the door open. Just left the door open. There's nothing they could do.

[Willie]

That's a regular brother story.

[Pat]

They can't get up.

[Chick]

That, you're right, is a regular, normal brother.

[Pat]

That's a prank.

[Dave Dyer]

And then we went to the bathroom on them. There you go.

[Chick]

All right. It gets a little weird at the end, but not as weird as this erotic simulation over here.

[Willie]

We did crazy pranks. We kiss each other on the lips all the time. Just classic boys.

[Dave Dyer]

No tongues till you're 18.

[Tom]

Everybody.

[Pat]

Very strict rule.

[Tom]

Everybody. Funny things at camp that maybe orgasms, loses.

[Chick]

Okay, here we go.

[Tom]

Because, as you know, I had a house Built. My friend Mark built this great house I live in now. And the. My only concession, the only thing that I got. You know, I wanted two things. I wanted a round dining room table.

[Chick]

Sure.

[Tom]

Didn't get it. And I wanted a urinal.

[Chick]

Urinal.

[Dave Dyer]

I'd love a urinal in the home.

[Tom]

I have a year. Love it.

[Dave Dyer]

My act's not that funny, so I don't have one.

[Pat]

I'd love patio furniture, but.

[Tom]

Stop it.

[Josh]

I'm not gonna talk to you.

[Tom]

Okay, well, time now to check in with Chick McGee. Across the way.

[Chick]

Simply Safe. The do it yourself design it yourself home security system. And the system that works to protect prevent that break into your home from ever happening in the first place. That's why you like. I should trust Simplisafe to give you peace of mind. We even use Simplisafe here at the Bob and Tom studios. With the cameras and the security system. Simplisafe has new active guard outdoor protection that helps stop break ins before they happen. They have AI powered cameras and live monitoring agents that detect suspicious activity around your property if someone's lurking. Lurkers are the worst. Worst agents can talk to that lurker in real time, turn on spotlights and call the police. Proactively deterring crime before it starts. No contracts, no hidden fees. And name best home security system of 2025 by CNET. And monitoring plants start around a dollar a day and 4 million plus Americans trust Simply Safe. And you should too. Plus they have a 60 day money back guarantee. And this deal we have for you. Visit simplisafetom.com and claim 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and get your first month free. That's simplisafetom.com 50% off, first month free. There's no safe like Simplisafe.

[Tom]

Thank you very much, Chick. We're coming right back. When we get back, we'll still be here. So if you're coming back with us, we'll be doing what we're doing then. Is that clear? Okay. Good. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. And this is the Bob and Tom Show. Just gotta get ahold of us. Call, text or email, mail all the.

[Pat]

Contact information you [e-mail]. this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom]

You're on theater.

[Chick]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee over there at the SILAC Insurance news desk. Yep, there's Pat Godwin.

[Pat]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick]

There's Willie Griswold.

[Willie]

I'm touching all Josh's stuff.

[Chick]

Add up, baby.

[Tom]

A lot of stuff over here.

[Chick]

You recall, of course, that Josh.

[Tom]

I quit.

[Chick]

Josh quit.

[Tom]

There.

[Chick]

Ace Cosby. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Here's Tom with our special guest.

[Tom]

He is a comedian, Dave Dyer. David Dyer is going to be at the Reese Theater R E E S in Plymouth, Indiana. It's a benefit. Stop, Drop and Laugh. Great name for it. Yeah. It's a benefit for the fire department there. Yep. Nice fundraiser. And Dave is, in fact, a professional firefighter as well as a comedian. He'll also be. That's by the way, did I mention this?

[Dave Dyer]

This Saturday, that's this Saturday, the 12th.

[Tom]

And then almost a week later, July 18th, a Friday, you'll be at the Roxy in Rochester, Michigan. Yep. Great venue. Okay. Now, ordinarily, I forget to do today in history, and I did today as well.

[Chick]

However, I thought, but you know, it's today in history, Tom, we could do it right now. No.

[Tom]

Well, I thought we could review some of the stuff we may have missed over the long weekend in history because. Because what of these presents? Something that I've always found interesting. Okay. And actually, two things tie together. Does anyone remember the birthday of Otto Frederick Roeder? Anyone?

[Chick]

Huh?

[Tom]

No?

[Chick]

How do you spell rotor?

[Tom]

R, O, H, W E, D D E, R. He is. He's referenced almost constantly in, in the world today because A, it's his birthday. Birthday. But B, the product that he invented was first introduced on this date in history.

[Josh]

On what date? This date.

[Tom]

Today in 1928, sliced bread sold for the first time.

[Chick]

Whoa. No kidding.

[Dave Dyer]

I saw something interesting about this, but go ahead.

[Tom]

No, no, because you still hear that, that phrase, this is the best, greatest thing since sliced bread. Wow, that's. I, that's still a reference floating around out there. I so congratulations, Otto, on your brilliant invention.

[Pat]

Before that, take a knife to a.

[Tom]

Loaf of bread back in the day, I guess you took an axe and.

[Josh]

I think they had knives.

[Chick]

No, they didn't.

[Dave Dyer]

Do you want to know? I, I, I actually read a thing about this and why it was so hugely helpful is back then families had more kids and it was very timec consuming for whoever was the homemaker, whether it was the mom or their dad, to make a bunch of sandwiches and cut stuff off and the amount of time that it saved moms getting meals together and stuff like that was, was.

[Tom]

So this bread thing was Actually needed.

[Dave Dyer]

Yeah, well hell.

[Chick]

Ah, got it needed.

[Willie]

We'll do that.

[Pat]

Hey Nead, they saved a lot of dough.

[Willie]

O okay.

[Tom]

I have a question here. Ringo Starr, born in 1940.

[Josh]

85 today.

[Tom]

Wow. Have you ever seen the Mexican cover band that does Beatle songs with the drummer Gringo Star?

[Willie]

Thank God I didn't laugh. I. I was tired of the last one. But I did like that. So I'm sorry I didn't laugh back in.

[Chick]

Is everyone hearing Dyer and his kiss ass laugh?

[Dave Dyer]

Is that what I'm doing? I'm a Ringo fan.

[Tom]

Hey, me too.

[Chick]

Hey.

[Tom]

Hey.

[Chick]

Oh, hey.

[Tom]

I've got blisters on my finger, senor.

[Chick]

Is that right?

[Willie]

He had to deeply inside. Slightly problematic, but yeah, it's a reference.

[Tom]

To a famous Ringo statement. I'm a big fan. Great drummer. Does somebody out there think of a dog named Bingo Star? I hope so. Wouldn't that be a good dog name?

[Chick]

I'd be a good. Yeah. Bingo.

[Tom]

Bingo Star. Call him by his full name name at all times.

[Josh]

Hey, Bingo Star, get over here.

[Tom]

Yeah. Happy birthday to our good friend, the great comedian Jim Gaffigan, who has a bunch of kids. He's got his own bourbon out there. Yep. He's a terrific actor and he's on tour here and there. Hope to see him again. He'll be in our studio I believe coming up in a few months. He's going to be stopping by. Now here's an interesting one. I did not know this.

[Chick]

I did not know this.

[Tom]

I mean this is truly amazing.

[Chick]

Yes.

[Tom]

In 1456. And the date is important. Joan of Arc was retried and acquitted.

[Chick]

Whoa.

[Tom]

Now the problem with this is.

[Chick]

Yeah, yeah, right.

[Tom]

She'd been already executed 25 years earlier.

[Chick]

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.

[Tom]

So.

[Chick]

And that also invented the word whoops. Did you know that?

[Tom]

Yeah. So she's got a lot of famous quotes. She was. She was already Joan of Ash, not. Not of Arc. At that point. It was kind of in abstention, if you will. Yeah, poor, poor thing. And I'm getting the signal there for Mesa. Thank you so much. Dave Dyer once again, Dave Dyer. A Reese Theater. Coming up Plymouth, Indiana, July 12. That's this Saturday for a nice benefit project. Congratulations Dave. Always a great pleasure. You were very good today. Thank you. And we are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show.

[Tom]

Sponsored in part by by Java House. The official coffee and refreshments of the Bob and Tom Show. Jim Rome takes on sports. Why? Because you're not playing me with rapid fire. Takes and a lot to get to, and I'm not sure you're gonna like all of it. Honestly, I don't even care if you.

[Chick]

Like all of it or not.

[Tom]

I have a job to do. Scorching debates on any given week, you have lots to beef about. Take advantage of. But get up in here.

[Chick]

He's the spitfire of sports smack.

[Tom]

She's not my fault. We will get to all all of that.

[Chick]

The Jim Rome show podcast.

[Tom]

Get up in here and we'll beef later on. What's your beef? Follow and listen on your favorite platform. You've been warned.