The BOB & TOM Show - June 16, 2026

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show – June 16, 2026: Episode Summary

Main Theme:
This episode delivers the classic Bob & Tom blend: comedy banter, quirky news and sports, listener letters, and live music. Highlights include the World Cup’s opening, hilarious takes on everyday life, odd news (cheese witches, goblin dating, laxatives tied to memory), and in-studio guest comedian Kelly Collette. As always, the crew riff on everything from flyswatters to power-washing to OnlyFans, keeping the morning lively, irreverent, and fun.

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Main Cast & Guest

• Tom, Chick McGee, Josh Arnold, Christy Lee, Ace Cosby, Pat Godwin
• Guest: Comedian Kelly Collette

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Key Segments & Insights

1. Cold Open & Studio Introductions

• [01:17] 'Smoking in Front of the Building' Song
  The crew breaks into a hilarious parody song about “smoking in front of the building.” The lyrics are a humorous look at the old days of smoke breaks.
  Memorable lyric:
  "Hacking, wheezing, barely breathing, choking, groaning. We love smoking..."
  *[02:49] "We smell like we've been camping."

• Introductions follow, with wardrobe jokes (the “crab” sweatshirt, body lice, and Christy Lee’s selective dating history).
  [05:26] Chick: “Do you remember—it was a skit...”
  Segues into discussions about googling people before dating them.

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2. Sports & World Cup Coverage

• [08:19] Sports Recap:
  Chick previews the World Cup:

  • Iran vs. New Zealand ended 2-2 at SoFi Stadium.
  • Iran’s team was unexpectedly sent back to Mexico immediately after the match.

  [08:56] Tom: “Maybe this will be part of it. Open up the Straits of Hormuz and…’okay, your guys can stay for the night.’”

• [09:21] Giant Soccer Ball on the Loose:

  • A promotional soccer ball (10-20 ft. high) rolls into LA traffic, becoming the crew’s “best thing connected with the World Cup.”
  • [09:57] Chick: “That is the best thing that’s happened in connection with the World Cup in my book.”

• [10:16] Demolition Derby Memories:
  Crew recalls demo derbies and childhood disappointments (“I wanted flipping cars, but I was 8.”).

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3. Listener Letters & Life’s Mundanities

[14:11] ‘Plover, Wisconsin’ Letters and Potato Masher

• Listener highlights Plover, WI, famous for its giant potato masher.
• Tom and Josh riff on underrated jobs: ice-cream scooper, barber-as-psychologist, and soda jerks.

[17:30] On Getting Haircuts & Conversing

• Christy: “That’s where you get all the gossip.”
• Chick: “My hair girl’s been doing this for seven years, so we kind of know each other.”

[18:19] Listeners Share Pet Pics

• Janet shares her Aussie doodle, Rebel, in a hat.
• Chick’s dog hates fireworks; Tom recommends THC-infused biscuits (with vet guidance).

[20:07] Movie & TV Recommendations

• Listeners compliment “Song Song Blue” (Hugh Jackman) and documentaries by Questlove about Earth, Wind & Fire and Sly Stone.

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4. Record-Setting and Odd News

[23:09] World Record Watch – David Rush

• David Rush, prolific record-holder, breaks new record (not juggling, but “harder than juggling”).
• His record: “Keep five balloons aloft for 1:14.89” ([76:15]).

[29:41] Classic Haywood Banks Fly Song

• “Looking at the world through fly’s eyes…” – an absurd and memorable musical interlude.

[31:58] Odd Science:

• New study: Common laxative (possibly magnesium-related) may improve memory.

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5. Goblin Dating, OnlyFans, and Loneliness Influencers

[97:58] Goblin-timacy

• New trend: On early dates, people reveal “goblin” traits/flaws to weed out incompatible matches.
• Christy: “The idea is, by exposing your inner goblin early on, you discourage partners who wouldn’t fit later.”
• Josh wonders if this is just an excuse for radical honesty on dates.

[108:31] OnlyFans Spending Stats

• U.S. spends $2.63 billion annually on OnlyFans.
• Top-spending cities: Atlanta (#1), Orlando (#2), Salt Lake City (#3), followed by Miami, Minneapolis, and others.
• Per capita leaders: DC, North Dakota, Nevada, Colorado, Illinois.
• Group jokes about possible gender and age breakdown.

[103:36] Loneliness Influencers

• Some social media creators document “living alone and having no friends,” normalizing and discussing isolation.
• Kelly Collette: “I’ve been doing this for months; didn’t know it was a thing!”
• Discussion about true friendship: “How many people would you take to the airport or help move?”

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6. Comedian Kelly Collette Joins In-Studio

[85:50] Introduction

• Nicknamed “Corky” as a youth; played soccer.

[86:43] On the World Cup:

• Kelly: “I love it. Especially women’s soccer—the men just dive and start crying.”

[91:13] On Relationships:

• Kelly shares a “jealousy” story:
  “What are you looking at? Her purse? You’ve been thinking of buying me a new purse?”
  Result: She got a new handbag.
• Discussion of high-end purses and reality TV (“Traders”).

[142:03] Home Life:

• Kelly discusses renovating her home, wallpaper, and the “good towels” vs. “bad towels” debate.

[154:39] Viral Story:

• Kelly recounts being slapped by a passerby on an e-bike, chasing him on foot, and how her viral video helped police catch him.

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7. Hilarious Anecdotes, Classic Riffs, and Generational Gaps

[34:14] 'Famous People Named After States'

• Dakota Fanning, Tennessee Ernie Ford, Georgia O’Keeffe, et al.
• The panel riffs on naming trends—later, a mom featured for naming all her kids after states ([150:04]).

[120:30] This Day in History

• Milestones: Geronimo’s 1829 birth, Stan Laurel, the first roller coaster (Coney Island 1884), FDR’s New Deal, Hitchcock’s Psycho (1960), the movie Grease premiere (1978).

[126:04] Cheese Witch Story

• Chicago “cheese witch” claims to predict the future using blocks of cheddar.
• Tom: “This is so stupid.”
• Kelly reveals she’s done palmistry/corporate palm readings for money—offers to cold read Pat’s hand.

[140:02] Black Rat Snakes

• Arkansas realtor refuses to show a house overrun with non-venomous snakes (“at least no rats!”).

[143:48] On Towels, Toilets, and Hot Towels

• The crew discusses the absurdity of “good” towels vs. “bad” towels.
• Tom: “Women buy towels for the non-bathing bathroom—totally nonabsorbent.”

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• [08:53] Tom on U.S.-Iran relations:
  “Maybe this will be part of it. Open up the Straits of Hormuz and—okay, your guys can stay for the night.”
• [17:30] Christy:
  “That’s where you get all the gossip. That’s where you get the tea.”
• [45:52] Josh (on Paul Revere and the Raiders’ ‘Good Thing’):
  “Somebody listened to Mick Jagger and went, I’m gonna do that.”
• [83:07] Christy:
  “I am not a fighter. I just shut up.”
  On dealing with relationship conflict.

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:17] Smoking song (“in front of the building”)
• [08:19] World Cup update: Iran-New Zealand
• [09:21] Runaway giant soccer ball story
• [14:11] Listener letters / potato masher
• [29:41] Haywood Banks “Fly’s Eyes” song
• [31:58] Laxatives and memory story teased
• [76:15] World Record: Five balloons aloft
• [85:50] Kelly Collette joins the show
• [97:58] Goblin-timacy (dating trend)
• [108:31] OnlyFans spending stats
• [126:04] Cheese witch segment
• [142:03] Kelly on renovating her house and towel rules
• [154:39] Kelly’s viral slap story

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Closing

Tone & Vibe:
The show is freewheeling, self-deprecating, and quick with callbacks (especially on topics Tom resents: World Cup soccer, demo derbies, towels, and flyswatters). It’s a classic example of the BOB & TOM formula: silly songs, sharp banter, semi-serious news, and the kind of everyday observations that reveal both the absurdity and fun of daily life.

For More:
Listeners are encouraged to check out Pat Godwin and Kelly Collette’s Dry Bar specials, available via promo codes on the app and website.

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End of summary.

Transcript

[A]

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[C]

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[B]

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[D]

It's the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

All right.

[D]

You ready for this?

[E]

We are ready.

[D]

Okay. Hey, Peter. Hey, Bob. What are you doing out here? Same thing you're doing. Got a light?

[F]

Oh.

[D]

We are smoking in front of the building.

[A]

We are standing, we are talking but mostly we are smoking we are smoking in front of the building.

[C]

Oh.

[D]

We are smoking in front of the building.

[A]

We are puffing, we are gagging we are happy because we're smoking we are smoking in front of the building.

[D]

Hacking, wheezing, barely breathing, Choking, groaning. We love smoking. I met a girl from another office She's a smoker just like me. Now we're dating and we're smoking. We're smoking in front of the building we are smoking in front of the

[A]

building and we smell like we've been camping.

[D]

It could be raining, it could be

[A]

snowing but we're smoking in front of the building.

[D]

Wheezing, barely breathing, choking.

[A]

CR.

[D]

I never was a smoker until I looked outside. They were smoking while I was working so now I'm smoking in front of the building. We are smoking in front of the building and the ashtrays are overflowing. We are smoking instead of working.

[A]

We are smoking in front of the building.

[D]

We are smoking in front of the building. We are standing, we are talking but mostly we are smoking. We are smoking in front of the

[A]

building Smoking in front of the building Smoking.

[D]

Oh, God. In front of the building. Hello. Come on in. Take off your skin. Rattle around in your bones from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. It's the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee.

[E]

Hey.

[D]

A nondescript black T shirt.

[E]

Yeah. I learned my lesson.

[D]

And a light jean jacket.

[A]

Very, very nice.

[D]

No crabs in sight. There's Pat Godwin.

[A]

You better explain that.

[D]

Yeah, we will. Hang on. There's Pat in his lovely shoulder sling.

[C]

Feels good.

[D]

It's gorgeous. There's Josh Arnold. Hello. Ace Cosby.

[B]

Hello.

[D]

I am Chick. Hello, Tom. Yeah. Yesterday, Christie had a. Interesting sweatshirt.

[A]

Had a big, giant crab on it.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So when you said no crabs visible, I didn't want people to think that she.

[E]

I don't have crabs.

[A]

So. Infested with crabs. And you saw them crawling over her.

[D]

Never had.

[E]

Never had crabs.

[D]

And you know how she got around.

[B]

Yeah. Am I wrong?

[D]

Come on.

[C]

Yeah. Dodged a bullet there, Chris.

[D]

Yeah. I mean, limousines and rock stars.

[A]

I mean, you got the possibility of head lice. Body license. There's all kinds of stuff out there.

[E]

I was selective.

[D]

Hey, Tom. She was selective.

[B]

She only slept with the D last.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

I.

[A]

But I would think that the Venn. The. Was it the Venn diagram of bass players and those with body lice would be. This is probably a pretty big common area, wouldn't you say?

[D]

Do you remember. And I don't know what show it was, but it was a skit, as they say on the. On the shows, a skit. And there was a girl meeting a man for the first time, and they were going to go out on a date, and he. She said, could I have your credit card, please? And he gave her a credit card, and she went over to her computer and ran a background check on her. But this was like in the 80s, so it was like, what the hell is she doing? But that's typical. Now, Real. Yeah.

[E]

Now we have a dating thing coming up, actually, that funny you bring that up?

[D]

Everybody in this room has been Googled the hell out of, I'll tell you that.

[A]

Well, good luck with it. We have a. We do have a. We do have a dating thing that.

[D]

You know what? I think you could be. You could be elected president with the slogan good luck with it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That sounded a bit dismissive.

[D]

That's right. Well, good luck with it.

[A]

Hey, the World Cup.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Good.

[D]

Good luck with it.

[E]

Are you tired? You look tired.

[A]

I am a little tired.

[D]

Wait till we get to the World Cup. He's gonna lose his mind. Lots. Lots of ties.

[A]

I can start with something positive.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Pat Godwin, the man with one arm. He has two arms, but one of them is in a sling following some pretty Serious shoulder surgery, but he can't play the guitar. So what's the plan for today, Pat a cappella.

[C]

I have like three or four things that I can sing with backing tracks

[D]

through the magic of recording.

[A]

Okay, we'll look forward to that. But got this nice letter here. I just watched past. Excuse me, I just watched Pat's Dry Bar comedy special. Now, this is a company called Dry Bar. They do these great family friendly specials. And pat filmed his 1987 and almost last year. Okay, but this is absolutely brilliant, writes Dave. Dave from Finley, Ohio.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

The songs, the interaction with the audience was great. Had me laughing start to finish. So that's great. If you want to watch this, there's a nine minute sort of a preview on YouTube. And if you want to watch the whole thing, go to the Dry Bar app and use the promo code, all caps Pat Godwin. You get a free month subscription. You can check it out.

[C]

Thank you, Tom.

[A]

So nice to have a very positive letter to start things off.

[C]

Approach with compliments.

[A]

Okay. But we'll see if we can get Pat to sing something for us, for us today. Now, do you want to give me a little sports preview, something exciting going on?

[D]

Well, of course. The World cup and Iran played at SoFi in Inglewood, California last night. A 22 tie with New Zealand. And surprisingly, coach Amir Hallowell Holland away, didn't say who ordered the Iranians to leave earlier than planned. Someone evidently went down to the locker room and said, you guys cannot stay in Cal. They had assumed they were going to stay in California for the night. They sent the Iranian team back to Mexico right after the game. They were not going to stay on American soil. And in spite of. According to reports, we've reached a deal with Iran.

[A]

Maybe this will be part of it.

[D]

Maybe it will be open up the

[A]

Straits of Hormuz and. Okay, your guys can stay for the night.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. Southern California, though, I mean, I don't

[A]

know, have some fun, right? Hit the streets of la, go to the beach.

[D]

They don't have that hot weather like that.

[A]

Yeah, there's a large population of folks from.

[D]

Sure.

[A]

Iran living in Los Angeles. And they were outside, some protesting, some. It's complicated but probably more interesting than an actual soccer game. But that's just me.

[D]

Now, also, also in the World cup, we had something not loose last night. I'm not sure where. This is one of the venues in the United States. It's a giant. They have a giant World cup soccer ball outside all the venues and one evidently got loose last night.

[B]

Oh, My.

[D]

There it is. Rolling into traffic. Ah, there it goes. Oh, man.

[A]

That thing is, what, like 20ft high?

[B]

Has to be in El Salvador.

[D]

It's. It's probably 10ft high.

[B]

It's just stormy night.

[C]

It's a little taller, Jones.

[D]

It's a little taller than the cars. It's rolling.

[A]

It's blowing down the street.

[B]

Yeah, it's awesome.

[D]

Look at that.

[A]

That is really cool.

[E]

You get to keep it.

[D]

That is the best thing that has happened in connection with the World cup in my book.

[A]

Can you imagine you're driving down the street and all of a sudden a gigantic ball comes at your car.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

At least it wouldn't hurt you. Just.

[A]

Well, you'd blind you for a second.

[D]

Don't they have something like demolition derby soccer?

[E]

What?

[D]

They have, like, cars on each side and they put a ball in the middle, a bigger ball, and they try. The cars go at it to try to knock it into a goal.

[A]

If they don't, they should.

[D]

I'm sure I didn't dream this. Whoa. Okay. I might have dreamed it, but that sounds very cool. Somebody will help me.

[E]

They still do demolition derbies?

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Figure eight.

[B]

I hope so. Seeing one of those as a kid was just.

[E]

Wasn't it so fun?

[B]

Although the. I don't know. The demolitions weren't as crazy as I wanted them to be.

[D]

Yes.

[E]

Do you want to blow up and stuff?

[B]

I mean, I wanted flipping cars, but I was 8.

[D]

They always chickened out and backed into each other because they ran in the front. They would disable their engine.

[B]

Yeah, right, right.

[D]

What the hell?

[A]

Oh, I had to emcee one. It was great. The figure eight thing, you emceed a demo? I did. Almost took out several people in the stands when they were doing a thing with the buses, and one of them, about half of them, went into the audience.

[E]

Really?

[A]

Oh, yeah. Fortunately, there was no one in that particular section.

[E]

Oh, my.

[A]

Yeah, it was. You don't want to be in the front row.

[E]

No, no.

[D]

Not for demolition derby.

[A]

Well, we'll get to your letters in a matter of moments. You can reach us, Bob and Tom Obandtom. We always love hearing from you, no matter what the topic. We can. We can. We'll take it on. Coming up, comedian Kelly Collette will be our in studio guest. Look forward to seeing Kelly once again. And how would you describe Ms. Collette?

[B]

Funny.

[D]

Very funny. Lady. Blonde.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Christy said pretty. I think we can say that.

[A]

Yeah, certainly. But now, is she attached? I can't remember.

[E]

Yeah, she had a boyfriend, remember?

[D]

Should we Be talking about this.

[A]

Okay. No, she.

[E]

You know what I remember about her the most? She's a very sweetheart. She saves senior dogs from shelters. That's so nice. That's what I want to do, Pat.

[D]

Maybe she'd save senior people. Senior people.

[C]

Maybe I need a good home after the surgery.

[F]

I do.

[D]

You take me home.

[A]

Someone that can bathe you, give you a sponge bath, feed you every night. Did you take a bath yesterday?

[C]

Shower. Yeah, this morning.

[A]

I don't understand.

[D]

Do you like to get some video on that? I mean, just from the waist up.

[A]

Do you tape a big bag over your arm?

[C]

Not at this point.

[E]

The.

[C]

The arthroscopic wounds have healed.

[A]

So you can get away.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[D]

You just got to take this sling off, but then getting it back on is kind of a process.

[C]

Yeah, that's a. By yourself?

[D]

Yeah. Yeah, it's a.

[A]

Do you have to have someone help you?

[C]

I have my son. He can bring one of these. These things around and Velcro it to my waist.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

All right.

[A]

You're doing everything with your left hand. Getting good at that.

[C]

Yeah, that's getting a little sore now, too. I got to be careful. I'll have that one done next week.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You start over compensating, and the next thing you know. That's hurt.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And then you're just doing it with your mouth. Get a chair with one of those straws.

[E]

I did not go there.

[A]

Well, we'll. We'll be right back with your letters from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Study and play. Come together on a Windows 11 PC. And for a limited time, college students get the best of both worlds. Get the unreal college deal. Everything you need to study and play with select Windows 11 PCs. Eligible students get a year of Microsoft 365 Premium and a year of Xbox game Pass ultimate with a custom color Xbox wireless controller. Learn [e-mail] studentoffer while supplies last ends June 30, terms at aka mscollegepc.

[D]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. the news desk, it's Christy Lee.

[E]

Hello.

[D]

There's Pat Godwin.

[C]

Hey, Chick.

[D]

He's at the music desk. There's Josh Arnold.

[C]

Hi. Hi.

[D]

There's Ace Cosby.

[E]

Hello.

[D]

Hello. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom. We have emails from our listeners.

[A]

Let's get to it. What do you got over there?

[D]

Good morning, Bob and Tom show. Hello, hello, hello. Thank you for making my drive to work tolerable. This is from Gene in Plover, Wisconsin.

[B]

We had plover yesterday.

[D]

Yeah, no kidding. Jill says. Just letting you know that. Plover, Wisconsin. I don't know how you missed. This has a huge potato masher on display in a field. It's located near Stevens Point. Do yourself a favor and plan a trip.

[E]

All right.

[D]

And I believe we have a picture of the giant potato masher.

[B]

Well, I've got to see that in person.

[D]

That is really something.

[A]

It is a. Yep. That's a giant. By the way, it also looks like it could be a cell phone tower.

[B]

Yeah. It looks like it can conduct some

[D]

sort of electricity or power if they. If they turn it upside down or with the mashing part on the ground, it could be a bike rack.

[C]

Don't you think?

[B]

Yes. And by the way, those still. I mean, that's when they invented that.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

They. They did it.

[D]

The guy said they still work. I've changed. I've changed the world. It doesn't get any better. Remember that. What. What did they do before the potato? Like a fork or something?

[B]

Maybe.

[A]

Man. Better than the ice cream scooper.

[B]

That's. Yeah. So much.

[A]

So much better than a spoon.

[B]

It absolutely is. By the way, that I think that

[A]

is one of the most underrated gigs for a teen. That is a tough job.

[D]

Ice cream scoop.

[A]

It's not just the scooping. It's the interpersonal.

[D]

What do they call them? Soda jerks?

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

Back in the day.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. But now you don't talk. The lady in front of you. Can I try the. Could I try the cookies and cream? And they got the little spoons.

[B]

It requires a ton of patience.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the ability to be kind of sticky all day.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Which I don't have that ability.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I would constantly be watching and then

[A]

every once in a while you see them. I got some ice cream today, and I don't know if it just came from Antarctica. This kid was really trying to get. Trying to get it loose. That's a tough job.

[E]

And big, strong right arm.

[D]

Yeah. Upper body strength.

[B]

Tom, do you prefer your ice cream scoops like at home with the trigger or minus the trigger?

[A]

The triggers.

[B]

For amateurs, the trigger doesn't always trigger. It doesn't always work.

[E]

I don't have a trigger.

[A]

Yeah, either do I. Yeah, I have a trigger for anger.

[E]

Yeah, we know.

[A]

It's a hair trigger.

[B]

I'll be honest, I don't have.

[D]

I'll go with Christy on that. You're telling us like we had no idea.

[B]

I don't have an ice cream scoop.

[C]

You don't need one. Microwave, 15 seconds. Right, chick?

[D]

You know what I do that you don't have?

[B]

Getting it from the container to the. Oh, wait. Or do you just take the core, like the little.

[C]

I just use a spoon after 15 seconds in the microwave.

[B]

But you put the microwave in. In the Ben and Jerry's thing.

[C]

I do, yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Then you eat the whole thing.

[D]

Absolutely.

[C]

Tiny little quartz.

[E]

Pampered Chef makes a really great ice cream scoop. And you shake it up and it.

[D]

I'm sorry, who's this Pampered Chef.

[E]

Pampered Chef heats up so you don't have to.

[A]

What do you mean it heats?

[B]

Well, that's nice.

[E]

It kind of like heats the scoop up so it's easier to get the ice cream out.

[B]

It's almost like one of those road flares. You kind of.

[A]

Was it radioactive? What's inside it? That can't be good.

[D]

It'll. It'll burn you.

[E]

Oh, God.

[B]

Be careful.

[A]

Anyway, my point is, I think that's one of those jobs that you often will be a teenage kid. That's a tough job. Yeah, underrated, so.

[B]

But I bet.

[A]

Fun man. No, if you're out there scooping, you

[E]

get free ice cream.

[A]

But again, we had this new story about the. The place in Los Angeles, the barber shop that now they're also doing psychology. Haircut people often have to be psychologists. They have to deal with all ticket brokers. And, well, in the case of certain barbers, they're also book.

[D]

But I mean, you need something to get you over the hump, you know, a little something something. Yeah, that's right.

[B]

Do you talk while getting your haircut, chick?

[D]

I don't care for it. But my saying, the girl who cuts my hair, she's been doing it for seven years, so we kind of know each other.

[B]

Yeah, I talk to her, but sure,

[E]

my hair guy and I are great friends.

[D]

Of course you are.

[E]

That's where you get all the gossip. That's where you get the team.

[B]

My least favorite thing.

[D]

So, anyway, now who's this again? Wow. Janet. She said okay. No, Dear Bob and Tom show.

[A]

Hmm.

[D]

Just thought you would like to see my new sweet little girl, Rebel in her brand new hat.

[E]

Oh, there's Rebel.

[D]

She's a year and a half old. Aussie doodle.

[A]

Oh, look at that hat.

[D]

That is a hell of a hat.

[A]

So it's kind Of a visor.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Which is even funnier.

[B]

It's almost a dog. A band visor. Like the back half is sort of bandana ish.

[E]

My dog would never sit still for that.

[D]

No kidding. No, no, I'm.

[A]

I'm with you. That would be off immediately.

[B]

We got to show her a picture of Rebel and she'll go, I need one of those.

[D]

My Aussie has it. She doesn't like fireworks, man. She hates fireworks. So we. I got her a wrap that she puts around her head and. And she looks like a seal, but I mean.

[B]

Oh, nice.

[A]

Does that work?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I talked to the vet and I got the THC infused biscuits.

[D]

Yeah, she has.

[A]

She has medication.

[D]

She has medication.

[B]

I would think THC would just make the fireworks better. Really, really cool.

[A]

Yeah. She looks up and she goes, woof. That's the equivalent of ah.

[E]

Sounded like somebody was shooting off a machine gun outside our house yesterday. Yeah. At night. I don't know if some kid got a hold of one of those strips of M80s. You know how they.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

And you take them and they just go. But it was scary. My dogs went crazy.

[A]

You know the things I have. They have a dog weight chart in the back. If your dog weighs 50 pounds or you give them so many of these supposedly to. It's an ain't kind of to help them with the fireworks. Check with the professional on this one. Talk to your vets, see what they say. Dear Bob and Tom show. Thanks for recommending the movie song Song Blue. It's currently on Netflix. Hugh Jackman is fantastic. It's a great story. Thank you, Dolores In South Carolina, Mr. Jackman, stop by our show Dolores to go to talk about.

[D]

Yes, Dolores. What does that rhyme with? Josh? Dolores.

[B]

Dolores.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

What else? Rhinosaurus.

[A]

Well, the famous. Maybe a dinosaur. The clitoris. Very rare.

[D]

Think about that. You're hard to find.

[A]

Bone free. Let's see now.

[B]

Bone free.

[A]

Oh, we go Patient Lisa. I am having rotator cuff surgery tomorrow.

[C]

Should we tell her, Jake?

[D]

No, it's fine.

[C]

You'll be great.

[A]

Oh, she's had it before. She says it sucks, but worth it.

[C]

So she's had one already?

[A]

Yeah. Must be the other arm. I don't know. What do you got over there?

[D]

Dear Bob and Tom show. The movie chick was referring to in the 80s. It's called better Off Dead.

[B]

I love Better Off Dead. What were you saying about it?

[D]

John Cusack goes on a date and the girl runs his credit.

[E]

Oh.

[D]

First thing. So I have not seen that. I don't particularly care for Mr. Kuzak,

[A]

speaking of things we've seen and I just heard about this other day. I just watched the Earth, Wind and Fire documentary on hbo Max.

[D]

I've heard that's great.

[A]

I have heard it's great. Also.

[D]

Questlove did it.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Questlove made it. No, I've got to check that out. There's a bunch. They're getting some really good documentaries out there.

[C]

The Slice Stone, the Quest Love did is great.

[A]

Right?

[D]

Wonderful.

[A]

Yeah. So, yeah. Some things to do in Stormy Weather. Watch some quality documentaries out there.

[D]

Dear Bob and Tom Show. This is from Radio professionals. Hello, Radio Professionals. And professionals is in quotes.

[A]

Yes, I would appreciate that.

[D]

That there's a county fair in Iowa that has a demolition derby using farm combine tractors.

[B]

Nice.

[D]

It is beyond wonderful. That's David. And Cedar Falls, Iowa.

[B]

That would see that fun.

[D]

Holy heck. I don't know how they would do that.

[A]

The contemporary combines are quite something.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Well, yeah. So. And they're computer guided.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

They're almost driverless guided and you know.

[A]

But I was talking to a friend of mine who is involved in the farming industry.

[E]

Really.

[A]

And he was saying that sometimes some of these contemporary, incredibly expensive combines, something will go wrong. And it's not like you can take a wrench and fix them yourself.

[B]

It's like cars.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's gotten really complicated and getting anybody out there to fix it can be rough. He said in one case they had to wait a month that this combine sitting in a field. Whoops. So if you get one, get the guarantee. Dear Bob and Tom Show. I recently was provided this for my fiance. We were getting the fixin for tacos. Oh, I see. We were getting the fixings ready for tacos and she said, you have any quesadilla skins? I will forever refer to tortillas as quesadilla skins. Drew and Boise, speaking of Boise, News coming out of Boise this morning.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Big news.

[D]

Hint at all.

[A]

World record.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Is that right?

[E]

David Rush.

[A]

Hey, that's right.

[D]

And I hear the world record. He said it's not juggling, but he says it's harder than juggling. It's more difficult.

[A]

It's one of those things that looks like you could. Anybody could do it. And it took him months and months and months of practice.

[D]

So what is this guy?

[E]

How does he make a living?

[D]

Hey, remember he.

[E]

Isn't he a teacher?

[A]

He's some kind of consultant, I think.

[E]

Okay,

[A]

here's another positive thing about Pat's Dry bar comedy special. Bring it on. That's good to see. Now Pat, what song can you actually do now without a guitar?

[C]

Well, I have backing tracks for about maybe 10 things. Like stuck in a car. I can do yoga pants. Greek physique. Oh, my gosh, the list just growing as we speak.

[D]

Unbelievable. Okay, well, this man's an entertainer.

[C]

Content creations. Oh, songs, dances.

[A]

Now I'd like to see you dance, Jeff.

[C]

Yeah, I'm a horrible dancer.

[A]

Jeff, Oscar came up with a hot dog recipe, you may recall.

[E]

30 seconds. Easy peasy.

[A]

Once again, it's. You want to go over the recipe?

[E]

Yeah. You just take a hot dog straight from the package, put it in a bun, put it in a paper towel, throw it in the microwave. 30 seconds, done.

[A]

It's amazing.

[E]

Yeah, and

[A]

I would have thought you had.

[E]

Look like you've never microwaved a hot dog in your life.

[D]

I just wish I had that excitement for the mundane. But to you, it's not mundane. It's the first time you're hearing him,

[B]

and yet he's still a miserable man. Yeah, that's the baffling.

[D]

Yes, just miserable.

[A]

Troy in Lawler, Iowa, said, if you want to kick it up a notch, add a slice of American cheese to the bun, put the hot dog on top of the cheese inside the bun, microwave, same procedure. P.S. this may be one of the fattest things I've ever done, and I don't care. Thank you, Troy.

[E]

It's not that fat.

[D]

I don't have cheese on hot dogs. I did it the other day. Towel inside the bun and then the hot dog. Oh, I know.

[B]

It all messed up. You'll get there.

[A]

You think Edison. You think Edison got it right the first time?

[D]

Of course not. He used all sorts of tungsten before he got to tungsten. All right.

[A]

Dear Bob and Tom show. My daughter, 2 years old, refers to flies as flying raisins.

[B]

So does my cat.

[A]

We get the raisin swatter off the top of the refrigerator when needed.

[D]

Does your cat eat flies in front of you?

[B]

Heartily.

[E]

My dog used to do. I had a dog that did that before.

[B]

She eats them, too. She likes to hold them in her mouth a little bit. That sensation must be pleasing.

[A]

No kidding.

[B]

I'm like, just eat it already. You're really grossing me out.

[E]

Yeah, but it's kind of handy, isn't it?

[B]

I love it.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Do you have a flyswatter handy?

[E]

Yes. On top of the refrigerator.

[A]

What is on top of. Is that standard?

[E]

Is that where everybody's is?

[B]

Oh, you know, it was when growing up, but mine is now in my garage.

[E]

Oh, no, mine's on Top of the refrigerator. Nope.

[B]

I. And I'm making a mistake because I open up my garage door, a bunch of flies fly in.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Every time I get the fly swatter.

[A]

Let's see now. I wonder how we could remedy that.

[B]

Right, Right.

[E]

Mine has a little cover on it, so it doesn't. You don't put the guts on your. Top of your refrigerator.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

A fly's water cover.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

This is it. Knitted?

[F]

No.

[A]

Sweet home.

[B]

It's a good idea.

[D]

From Pampered Chef.

[A]

Does it match the knit toilet seat cover you have?

[B]

No, you're right, Christy.

[E]

And it has a little thing at the bottom of it.

[A]

And I. I'm.

[B]

Are we a little surprised Tom doesn't have one?

[D]

Yeah, absolutely.

[E]

And a little pinch.

[D]

I don't know what I'm saying. I don't. I know what sirlo table is, so I asked. It's a high, high end kitchen. Snooty kitchen.

[C]

Excellent.

[D]

Yeah. Oh, they're very nice.

[B]

It's a brand.

[A]

Now, is your. Is your fly swatter one of those ones made out of screen door screen?

[E]

No, it's plastic.

[A]

Oh, it's plastic.

[D]

Aren't there electrified? Yeah, those are. There are electric fly swatter.

[E]

And the ones that kill the mosquitoes.

[D]

Don't they make guns that you shoot at the fly?

[B]

Yes. With salt?

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

What?

[D]

Those are fun.

[B]

Yeah, those are great.

[C]

No, I'm in.

[B]

Wait, you can get them at any Bass Pro.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

So what does it do with salt?

[B]

You'll find out at Christmas.

[A]

Yeah, but there aren't any flies in December.

[D]

Well, now I can't.

[B]

Well, you can hold on to it.

[D]

You got to play the waiting game, you ungrateful people.

[B]

You practice for three months, and then when the flies.

[A]

So are you shooting? Are you shooting salt all over your house?

[B]

I honestly don't have one.

[A]

So is it like a shotgun? I mean, is it. Or do you have to really have a handgun?

[D]

Idiot. It wouldn't be a shotgun.

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

But I mean, these. Does it put a spray of salt out, or do you have to really. Is it, like, precise?

[D]

Well, you got to be.

[E]

You got to hit the fly.

[B]

Cabela's or Bass Pro Run. I'll pick one up and we can. I'll bring it here. We can see, shoot each other.

[A]

It sounds like I'd let flies in just to do this.

[B]

The electrified ones.

[A]

My.

[B]

My friends and I used to see who could take it on the nose because they're powerful.

[E]

Are they?

[B]

Yeah. Ouch.

[E]

Huh?

[A]

Well, because flies are so disgusting.

[B]

Yeah. They're pretty gross.

[A]

I mean, because you know where they've been?

[E]

Sure.

[B]

Everywhere.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

They've been in your house, they're in the cat litter box.

[B]

And they throw up constantly. They do. Every. I heard somebody told me that every time they land they're puking, they're trying to look nice. It's how they digest.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Or something. Yeah.

[D]

They don't have a choice.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Bulimic flu.

[E]

Did you hear?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

America's next top fly.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, well, we have a tribute. A tribute to flies. This is one of the classics from Haywood Banks.

[D]

I'm looking at the world through fly's eyes.

[A]

Looking at the world through fly's eyes.

[D]

Looking at the world through flies eyes. And you can just buzz off. Well, I think I'll buzz in the. The front door.

[A]

I think I'll buzz around the back door screen.

[D]

I think I'll buzz around your face

[A]

and then I'll land on the ceiling.

[D]

Buzz buzz, buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz, buzz Soul fly. Well, I think I'll land on some horse manure. I think I'll land on the. The poop duur.

[B]

That's poop of the day.

[C]

Ch.

[D]

I think I'll land on a squash possum. And then I'll land on your potato salad.

[A]

Just washing up. Cuz I'm looking at the world through flies eyes.

[B]

Looking at the world through flies. Looking at the world through flies.

[D]

And you can just buzz off. And you can just buzz off.

[A]

Thank you very much. Haywood Banks.

[E]

I have some bad news for the pampered chef folks. They have discontinued the cult favorite. Super swatter is what they call it has an integrated dust pan and hidden tweezers. I've had this thing for probably 20 years.

[C]

That's why your chicken salad tastes so weird.

[D]

Oh, these are weird.

[E]

Awesome.

[A]

Okay, I'm looking at the bug salt, the. The fly swatter shooter. And you load it with salt and it's sort of splays out like a shotgun, whatever the word would be. And there's a nice scatter.

[D]

Scatter shot.

[A]

Scatters.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's a nice video.

[B]

And they go right down.

[E]

You have to clean up the salt everywhere.

[B]

Well, it's for outdoors.

[A]

Oh, this thing. They've got a guy in a chef suit having. He looks kind of like Heywood having a blast. Just pulverizing flies all over the food. This does look like a fun afternoon. And I don't think you could hurt anybody with it, but it sure looks like fun. It's the Bug, a salt is the one to look for out there. And I had no idea. Me either. This looks like a very, very fun thing to do. Coming up, we have your letters. We have Sporting News. We have an interesting story about a pilot that apparently was unlicensed, but it appears to me he did a pretty good job. And then this is a really odd thing from the world of science. A new study would suggest that certain types of laxatives actually improve your memory. So.

[D]

Laxatives.

[A]

Yeah, a very common laxative has in a study has something very helpful beside the laxative properties of.

[D]

Huh.

[E]

Huh.

[A]

So we'll find out about that. Something new in the world of dating.

[B]

Maybe it's magnesium related. Those are both good for brain and gut.

[A]

Okay, good. And then we have.

[D]

Yeah, maybe it's magnesium related. It's good for you.

[E]

And I need something.

[A]

We have an only fans study about what areas have the are spending the most cash on only fans.

[B]

Oh, geographic.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Kind of surprising and certain.

[D]

An area it looks like it pinpointed down to Josh's house. Is that what you're going to do?

[A]

No, I.

[B]

What we have to look for.

[A]

I hadn't thought of that at all

[D]

as the address right here.

[A]

Didn't you say you're. You're no longer. You don't look at only fans. Is that.

[B]

I mean I didn't much earlier on, but now for sure. No.

[D]

Yeah, okay. No, it's a young man's game, John.

[B]

That's exactly right.

[A]

Now those are some stats I'd like to see.

[E]

But first Christine, age of people that what are going to only fans.

[A]

Yeah, I'd like to see that breakdown.

[B]

None of the girls are created.

[E]

They're.

[B]

They're not on there anymore. It's all dudes like me who have six girls in their stable. Yeah.

[D]

Hey.

[B]

Yeah, my name's Melissa. Yeah, sure, I'll send you. Yeah, you can do stuff to my feet.

[D]

No kidding.

[B]

Oh yeah. Yeah. Wow.

[A]

Well now, Christy, I'll tell you what.

[E]

The world is watching. That's right. FIFA World Cup. And Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of stars. In fact, they're already turning heads some of these kids at the age of 14. Because next doesn't wait for an invitation. And neither does Hyundai. Hyundai has always moved the future within reach. They did it when they made advanced safety standard on every vehicle and engineered EVs with ultra fast charging capability. And they're still doing it every day. Because the future isn't some far off concept. It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA.

[A]

Thanks very much. Christy Lee, can you name anybody famous who is named after a state?

[B]

Tennessee Ernie Ford.

[A]

There you go. That's almost valid. Dakota Fanning

[D]

has to count.

[A]

No.

[D]

California.

[A]

No, I didn't say after an abbreviation of a state, Josh. I would have gone with Tennessee Williams

[B]

because that's actually his name.

[A]

Is that really? I was wondering if that was or if it was like Tennessee Ernie Ford because we have a woman in the news involving naming her kids after states, which is. And it's kind of a, kind of a soap opera story. Coming up, comedian Kelly Collette. When we come back, Pat Goddard. We're going to try to see if he can sing in spite of the shoulder. And don't forget about his dry bar special. I'll tell you how you can watch that. It's getting rave reviews. I'll tell you how you can watch Patty G. In concert when we return to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[D]

Hey, thanks for listening this morning.

[A]

Got something to say?

[D]

Send us an email. Bob and tomobandtom.com youm have one new message. Ring, ring, ring.

[E]

Translating. Disney and Pixar's Hoppers is now available on Disney.

[D]

You could say that again.

[E]

Critics are calling it Pixar's funniest movie ever. And a wildly entertaining ride.

[A]

Blizzard Potato.

[E]

It's certified fresh and verified hot.

[B]

Now we party.

[F]

This is incredible.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

I am clearing the rest of the day.

[E]

Disney and Pixar's Hoppers now available on Disney.

[A]

Rated pg. Serious money.

[D]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee at the news desk.

[E]

Hi.

[D]

There's Pat Godwin. Hey, Chick. Still on the men with that shoulder? There's Ace Cosby. There's Josh Arnold.

[B]

Hi there.

[D]

I'm Ace Cosby. I'm Ace Cosby. There's Tom Grizzle. Hello, Tom.

[A]

Now you got me thinking. I'm trying to remember the song Good thing.

[B]

Not the fine young cannabis.

[A]

No, not that one.

[D]

Good thing. Where have you gone? Or is that.

[B]

That's fine Young. Yeah.

[F]

Good, good.

[D]

I can't.

[A]

It's too early.

[C]

There's the voice.

[D]

That guy's kind of weird, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

It's got a kind of a. But no tooth in his mouth goes the same way, right? Yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah.

[E]

Very English.

[A]

I was walking the dogs yesterday and

[D]

middle, middle of the night or during

[A]

a normal time during the day

[E]

and

[A]

when you have earbuds in kind of like a hat on and people don't know you have earbuds.

[D]

They have a new AirPod that. And I'm not. This isn't a commercial, but it's noise canceling and it means business. Let me tell you what you can't hear. Nothing.

[A]

But my issue, My issue is. And you need to be able to hear cars coming and stuff, obviously, but.

[D]

Well, not with these.

[A]

People don't know that you have earbuds in.

[D]

Sure.

[A]

So there should be some kind of a thing you could put in your hat that would alert them.

[B]

Oh, like press. You know,

[A]

I can't hear you if. All right, you start talking to me. I need to turn.

[D]

Everybody follow my lead. Yes, Tom, that's a great idea. I'm thinking of a flexible rod with a pennant on the top.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So they know.

[D]

So they know. Yes, that's a great idea. I say you start doing that immediately.

[A]

Because I'll be walking the dogs and one of my neighbors will pull up, put their window down, and they look at me and start talking and I, I'm trying to figure out how to turn off my radio so I can hear them. Know what else has this problem? No, that's one of our listeners.

[E]

Your ear. Do I say this and get in trouble? But don't your earbuds, don't they play music and become a hearing aid like my brother in law's? Like he just clicks a button.

[A]

No, Well, I, I don't know. I gotta turn something off. No, I can't hear because I'm listening to something else.

[E]

I know. You just click a button and it goes to the.

[A]

Well, let someone have to show me where the button is.

[D]

I have no idea.

[B]

Well, the earbuds, I have, you remove one and the music stops.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[D]

That's what most people.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

And then if you just put it back in and it goes.

[D]

That's not what Tom's going to do. Tom's going to get the flexible rod pennant on the top of his head

[E]

to the back of his belt.

[D]

So people know when they, when they walk up. I'm airbud engaged.

[A]

I'm not available. I'm not available for.

[D]

Yes, for chit chat. That's a great idea.

[C]

Let me see the earbuds in.

[B]

I like a sign that just says not available for chitchat.

[D]

How long you live there? It's been a couple years yet. You think they're used to you over there yet?

[A]

I think so.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

For the, for some of the kids, I'm the crazy guy. I was always walking two white dogs

[B]

Were you listening to music?

[A]

Let's see. What was I listening to? No, I was listening to a podcast.

[D]

Amazing. About Frank Zappa. Retrospective of his life. It was hosted by Moon.

[A]

Never touched a drug.

[D]

You know, Never touched her.

[C]

Are they liquor?

[A]

Okay, I. I'm distracted because I'm trying to think of the song.

[D]

Dear Bob and Tom. Dear Bob and Tom Show.

[B]

So, Tom, yours goes good. Good, good, good.

[C]

Then you kind of just fall apart at the end.

[A]

What is that song? It's a big hit.

[C]

Sounds like a church.

[D]

You know? You know, God knows what it is. That's our problem.

[B]

I'm just gonna go ahead and Google. Good, good, good, good. Good thing.

[E]

I'm looking up good thing. And I just keep getting Feinyun candle.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

So I'm gonna. I'm gonna do it.

[E]

This predates Good Things by Dan and Shay.

[C]

No.

[D]

Oh, that. That's a good song.

[E]

Aloe Black.

[C]

No, no.

[E]

Forest Frank.

[C]

I don't think so.

[E]

Happy by Pharrell Williams.

[D]

No, no.

[A]

We'll move on. Do you have any ideas, Ace?

[B]

Is it new?

[A]

Oh, no, it's old. It's old.

[B]

It's like.

[A]

Please.

[D]

New for Tom would be early 1971. I think would be.

[A]

No, I've listened to a lot of new stuff.

[D]

I don't believe you.

[B]

Yeah, he's got the kids, the descendants.

[A]

Elizabeth McAlpine descendants. Great stuff.

[D]

I don't like that.

[B]

Parents.

[A]

Oh, well, I'll dig it up.

[E]

Paul Revere and the Raiders have a Good thing.

[A]

That's it.

[C]

Oh, that makes sense.

[A]

Underrated band.

[D]

Good thing. Paul Revere and the Raiders. Let's listen and see if it goes good.

[B]

And he said, big hit.

[A]

Good thing. Good, I believe, is the one of the lyrics.

[E]

Didn't he play, like, the front of a car or something?

[A]

Yeah, Paul Revere's organ was the front of an Edsel. In fact. Now, when we had Mark Lindsay. No, we had. Who was his name?

[F]

We.

[A]

We had Dick Clark in here.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And he was good friends with Paul Revere. And Paul Revere was a very original Paul Revere.

[D]

Yeah, he was very old.

[B]

Well, what did they call him? Like, America's young man or something? Because he was never oldest.

[E]

Teenage.

[D]

Thank you.

[A]

But. Yeah, Paul. But Paul Revere was, according to what's his face, Dick Clark was a great businessman. And Dick Clark was obviously a pretty good businessman too.

[E]

But Mark Lindsay was hot.

[A]

Yeah, but it was Mark Lindsey.

[D]

Paul.

[A]

We find Good Thing good. So I can at least be

[D]

justified

[A]

in my bringing it up.

[C]

They're looking for it in the Back.

[D]

Paul Revere was a little. A little chubby guy in the band, right?

[A]

No, blonde.

[E]

He was right out front.

[A]

Had a cool ponytail. They all dressed like.

[C]

I thought Mark Lindsay had the ponytail.

[E]

Mark Lindsay had a ponytail.

[A]

They dressed like Revolutionary War guys. Paul Revere was in the organ. Mark Lindsay was the front guy.

[E]

Did he have a ponytail?

[D]

It couldn't have been his real name. Paul Revere couldn't. That was not the guy's real name.

[B]

I'd be shocked.

[D]

I'd be real. I'd be real surprised.

[B]

I haven't even met a Revere.

[D]

No, never.

[B]

What happened to the Revere's?

[D]

What happened to that? And yet we continue to make silver and Revere wears.

[E]

Oh, my God. Paul Revere's real name, according to AI. Paul Revere. Dick Revere was his middle name.

[D]

Paul Dick.

[A]

Well, Paul Dick and the Raiders. I think that wouldn't really.

[B]

His middle name was Revere.

[E]

That's what it says.

[A]

Although Revere Dick would be a good gay porno guy more than Revere. I swallow it.

[D]

He said. He told me the tired. He said he was tired. This is what you get on the top.

[A]

Have you found the song yet?

[D]

Please God, I don't have it over here.

[B]

Oh, look. That could have been a quick find.

[E]

It was a huge hit.

[B]

To open up some old boxes.

[D]

Here we go.

[A]

Remember this chick?

[D]

Open your eyes, girl. Look at me, girl.

[A]

Admittedly, is possibly the worst vocal.

[B]

Somebody listened to Mick Jagger and went, I'm going to do that.

[A]

That's exactly.

[D]

I can do that.

[A]

You nailed it. But here comes the good good thing here, right?

[D]

Okay, stop it. I did not hear Good, good, good, good.

[A]

That's coming up. That's the hook.

[D]

That was the hook.

[A]

No, you just played the hook.

[D]

Ding dong.

[A]

Did you give me the right part, Jason? This better have good thing good or you might be looking for a gig here. Here we go.

[D]

Here we go again.

[A]

This is the. I'd forgotten what a terrible vocal this is. God, is. Is it coming up here?

[D]

Let. Got pretty good hook.

[B]

The bridge.

[D]

Nine more minutes.

[A]

It comes in right there with a Good Thing good.

[D]

No, it comes

[E]

out.

[B]

Idiots you think we are.

[C]

You cannot come.

[E]

Good Thing came out in 1966.

[D]

There's no part of that song that goes good, good, good, good, good thing.

[A]

He says good thing.

[D]

Admit it.

[A]

No, I you that Jason gave me the wrong part.

[D]

Let me ask you a question. Do you think this is still working on this? Is that what you think? Oh, yes, that's exactly.

[A]

Louie was not a debacle on the live album, he says plays a lot of bass. I proved it. I had in six months.

[C]

You proved it.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Eddie had.

[E]

I had to.

[A]

I had to purchase the vinyl. I had to go buy an antique vinyl record because it wasn't even streaming. When we come back, it'll be Good

[D]

Thing Good and World cup soccer action just for you, Tom. And we're gonna figure out. We need to figure out which one.

[A]

We're going to play, like 10 games and nobody scored.

[D]

This is going to be a long siege. So we need to figure out what World cup theme we're going

[A]

pretty good. Okay. I got Good Thing Good right here, I think. Hang on. They did it over there. Here we go. Wait, wait.

[C]

No, that went good. Good. The melody went up. You went all the way down on it.

[A]

I was quoting the lyrics.

[D]

You know what?

[B]

I am gonna give that to Tom.

[D]

But, yeah, I completely apologize, but I'd

[A]

forgotten how crappy that song was.

[B]

What a surprise for a huge hit.

[E]

It wasn't a huge hit.

[D]

I thought the hook was okay.

[B]

It's okay.

[D]

But him doing the Mick Jagger.

[A]

Yeah, you nailed it.

[B]

That's unfortunate.

[D]

Is that Mark Lindsay or is it.

[E]

No, that I think. I don't know.

[A]

Paul Revere. Did not. He did not.

[E]

That was Mark Lindsay.

[B]

There's Mark Lindsay.

[A]

That was one of those bands. That was Paul Revere and the Raiders. Then it was Paul Revere and the Raiders featuring Mark Lindsay. Then Mark Lindsay did. Is that Indian song And the Indian Reservation.

[E]

Yeah, I like that song.

[A]

I know Silver Bird didn't come and take. Didn't you have sexual congress with Mark Lindsay?

[E]

No, but I saw him in concert at one of those Happy Together tours.

[D]

Everybody thinks that. Everybody thinks you bang Mark Lindsay.

[C]

Did you meet him?

[D]

As a matter of fact.

[B]

Sexual.

[A]

Dad, sexual congress is much more elegant.

[E]

I've never met Mark.

[A]

And since the congress usually is screwing us. But seriously, we're coming right back.

[D]

Mark Russell greatest.

[A]

To the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show. Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob

[D]

and Tom show this morning. Get a look at today's show on our YouTube channel.

[A]

Tomorrow morning is knocking.

[E]

Stock your fridge now.

[F]

How about a creamy mocha Frappuccino drink?

[E]

Or a sweet vanilla smooth caramel, maybe? Or white chocolate mocha? Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits. Find Starbucks Frappuccino drinks wherever you buy your groceries.

[A]

Oh,

[D]

you caught us. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Thank O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your Car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Christy Lee at the news desk. Hi, there's Pat Godwin.

[C]

Hello.

[D]

There's Josh Arnold. Yes, there's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick McGee. I got it right that time. Hello, Tom. Hello, Chick McGee.

[E]

What was Paul Revere and the Raiders hit? What was their big hit?

[D]

Kicks.

[E]

Yeah, there was another one, right?

[B]

Those just keep getting harder to find.

[A]

Yeah, they had a bunch of. And they were on those afternoon rock and roll shows, and they were obviously not plugged in. They. They'd show them. The guitar player would be standing on a diving board.

[B]

Oh, sure. Yeah.

[A]

By the swimming pool with, you know, women doing the. Whatever. Is it the boogaloo or something? But they were great kicks.

[D]

Just like me. Let me. Him or me. Good thing.

[A]

Oh, see good things on there.

[D]

Yeah, that's on the. The hit list.

[A]

Huge hit.

[B]

Here it is.

[D]

We don't have to hear it again. Okay,

[A]

Beach Boys, then.

[C]

Very Beach Boys.

[D]

So they just. They just sat around and listened to. Listened to everybody else and.

[A]

Derivative.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, that was absolutely. A little. Little Brian Wilson Beach Boys thing.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Now, anyway. Yeah, but you're right, though, Christy. Paul Revere had his organ looked like a. Looked like the front of an Edsel.

[E]

I remember a mountain. American Bandstand. That's what I remember.

[D]

Okay, now I am. Oh, hungry Hungry for.

[E]

Oh, that was a good song.

[D]

But it's that Paul Revere and the Raiders biggest commercial hit, says here was Indian Reservation, credited simply to the Raiders. Is that released in 71. Number one on billboards.

[E]

I loved that song.

[D]

Six million copies.

[A]

Really?

[E]

Yeah. I know.

[B]

Cherokee people. That's a good song.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

We have a important birthday in the world of the native peoples of North America coming up today.

[E]

Oh, all right.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Really?

[A]

Would you like a little taste of today in history?

[B]

Why not?

[A]

Special Edition?

[D]

I'd like to see somebody try it. Stop you.

[A]

Yeah. This is kind of interesting. On this date in 1829, the great Apache leader Geronimo was born. We honor him today by doing a cannonball of the hotel pool or jumping out of airplanes.

[D]

Yeah, he jumped out of stuff a lot. Right. What was the.

[A]

What was the movie where the Adronimo jumps out of a plane and yet goes me,

[B]

I believe.

[A]

Yeah. It's Important Day. Geronimo. Great, great leader. I believe he's buried in, like, Beef Creek Cemetery or something. I'll have to double Beef Creek. Something like that.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't. Okay.

[D]

Beef Creek Cemetery sounds like a great stew maker.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Have you tried Beef Creeks Stew?

[A]

I'll have to double check on that. That's. I need to do a little more.

[E]

Ever make a steak in your house and your whole house smells like steak for the whole day?

[F]

Sure.

[E]

I did that last night. My air purifier went from 1 to 999. It was so bad.

[D]

Whoa.

[A]

Yes it is. I was right. It is the most famous burial of Geronimo. Is it Beef Creek Cemetery?

[E]

Where is Beef Creek Cemetery?

[A]

In Lawton, Oklahoma.

[D]

Are you saying beef like cattle or you're saying beetle beef?

[A]

Beef would like. Like cattle.

[B]

Like.

[A]

Like roast beef.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

The great Geronimo. Happy birthday.

[B]

Flowing au jus.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

I don't think he was of the

[D]

Jewish faith, but I've never done that. Not what I. I've ordered aju, but I've never done it.

[E]

You've never.

[C]

French dipping.

[D]

And I don't know why I put French fries. I'll have a French.

[A]

I just find it awkward. People may think it's A Jewish person

[D]

might be having lunch with you when you order aju.

[A]

I think once again he's.

[D]

He's.

[A]

I'll have a Ruben.

[D]

A little tired today. A little tired. That's what he is.

[B]

I understand that his friend Scott will text him.

[D]

It's okay. You know Scott.

[A]

Happy birthday. Phil Mickelson. Lefty.

[D]

He just got banned somewhere.

[E]

Yeah, San Diego.

[A]

Didn't they.

[D]

Something about a lady Didn't.

[E]

Inappropriate.

[A]

Didn't live golf just get dead?

[D]

I think it. If it hasn't, it will be getting dead soon. But he evidently inappropriate advance contact with

[E]

the female employee at the golf.

[D]

He was asked not to return. He was kicked out of his home club.

[B]

Come on, Phil.

[D]

Lefty. Come on.

[A]

Come on. There's 18 holes out there. Leave that one alone.

[D]

Once again, he's very.

[A]

Happy birthday, Tupac Shakur.

[B]

Ah.

[A]

Doesn't Tupac sound like a. Some kind of a lobbying group? Taxpayers United for Public Arts and Culture.

[D]

You mean like Tupac association? The super PACs and all that stuff?

[A]

Yeah. And while I'm at it, the first roller coaster in America opened on this date. And what year do you think the first roller coaster? Coney island was? The place.

[D]

1903.

[B]

Yeah. I was gonna say for that.

[C]

Huh?

[B]

First decade of 1900.

[A]

1884.

[D]

Yeah. We were way off.

[A]

I'll bet that was scarier than hell. Because you know, people were. They would obviously do a lot of train travel. But to see a train.

[D]

I wonder how many people.

[C]

What's the Oldest working roller coaster.

[D]

What's he trying to say?

[A]

I'm saying be terrifying.

[D]

Just let him.

[B]

Well, that train's got hills.

[A]

Yeah. I assume the technology was based on mining.

[B]

Yeah, I would think so.

[D]

What do you think they did to test the roller coaster in 1894?

[B]

Lost lives.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. Pumpkins in the seat. There were.

[A]

There were homeless dudes hanging out. New York.

[B]

There were Irish around.

[C]

So true.

[D]

No, no, I was.

[A]

I was trying to think of minority. You were the nice job. Way to soften that.

[D]

Tom said there were homeless dudes around.

[A]

Sure, he'll try anything. Give him. Give him a couple of drinks.

[D]

And remember, they got the homeless dude to pull the Rick Shaw. She really wants a joke.

[A]

Oh, here we go. Oh, should we. Should we finish history later? It looks like we're running out of time. We've got. There's a couple good ones. In fact, there's one that you'll love, Josh, Involving the cinema. We'll get to that later. As we continue. Now, what else is happening in sports? You want to give me a little preview again?

[D]

As one of our listeners has written in an email, it says. Dear Bob and Tom show. Good morning, Tom. Yes. Four soccer games, the World cup, four ties.

[A]

Thoughts again.

[D]

That's. That's for you. Oh, there is an interesting story. I haven't gotten to it yet, but. Dear Bob and Tom show. Don't. Don't sleep on the Netherlands. Do a search on the Netherlands. Thousands of fans follow the team to Dallas and they even shipped over a double decker bus painted in Netherlands colors orange.

[B]

That's fun.

[D]

And they filled the streets getting to the game all dressed in orange. And this is from Rico van der Heyden. That's cool. He's got to be.

[A]

I appreciate that others enjoy it. I just don't.

[D]

No, no, you don't. You've said people are acting like they're enjoying. You're the brave one to step up and say no.

[A]

Those are real fans. They think there are a lot of folks in America that are bandwagon jumpers thinking this is really exciting. And if they've sat through the four games yesterday and watched no scoring, maybe they'll join me in my.

[D]

And I believe stain. We've settled on this until I hear different.

[E]

Okay, I like this one.

[A]

That's a great song.

[D]

That's a great song.

[E]

You don't like Tears for Fears?

[B]

What the hell is wrong with me? I love Tears for Fears. I don't like that they cup there. Used it for his little soccer report.

[D]

Let me tell you Something, mister. This is as delicate as gossamer over here.

[C]

We are the one.

[A]

You keep the up. We're gonna tell people that your real name is Josh Arnold Dick, just like Paul Revere.

[B]

Dick.

[D]

Paul Revere Dick.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Tim Allen.

[D]

Dick Dick.

[E]

That's Tim Allen.

[A]

Tim Allen's real. His birth name. Tim is Tim Dick. Absolutely.

[D]

Tim Dick is Paul Revere. Dick's son.

[E]

Is his middle name Alan like Paul Revere's?

[A]

I believe so.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

I could all have to double check that. And Tim is a good friend of the show. And Tim is, of course, about to

[E]

make a lot of money

[A]

voicing Buzz Lightyear again and coming out this weekend, getting great reviews already.

[D]

Toy Story 19 this time.

[A]

Toy Story brings joy to a lot of people, much like your death will.

[E]

Oh, man.

[D]

Well, that seems a little.

[B]

It goes from 0 to 19.

[C]

You make fun of one side.

[D]

Have mashed it down.

[A]

I'm not putting around. You go.

[D]

Plus, it's kind of.

[A]

You go bad mouth and toy store. You're on my list, mister. Okay.

[D]

I don't know if I can stand.

[A]

You know, we had some really good shows a couple weeks ago. Maybe we just replay those. I've got to get home. I taped those four soccer games to watch. No one score for six hours.

[D]

That'll be good.

[C]

Good.

[B]

They scored. They just didn't win.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You said they were all tied at 004422.

[D]

They're all 1 00. They're 112 2.

[A]

Okay. Once again, I can put in soccer terms my interest in soccer in this tournament.

[D]

What am I doing? I'm not sure I'm talking to you. Go ahead.

[A]

The answer is nil. Okay, Sorry. Now, if your answer is a nil when it comes to what the hell am I going to do about my economic situation, here's something that might help you. You. American Financing specializes in helping folks that own their own homes, grabbing some of that equity. As you know, if you read about it, maybe you watched your neighbor sell their house and you went, the Johnson's got how much for that place? Because the price of the average house in America has gone up substantially. If you just Google that, you'll find out if you've owned your house for, like, five years, it's probably worth 30, 40% more than it was, at least on the market. Depends on the situation, obviously. It depends where it is, et cetera, et cetera. If you've owned your house for a decade, it may have doubled in value. You can take advantage of that without actually selling your house by Cashing in on some of that equity, that's the specialty of American financing. American Financing, they have salaried consultants. They're not gonna get you on the phone and give you the hard sell. And in about 10 minutes they can tell you if this might work for your situation. They'll get some numbers from you. They gave me these numbers. Right now their average client is saving about 800 bucks a month. So you do a refi, as they call it, refinance the place. No upfront fees, no pressure. And if you start today, they've got a special thing up and running where you could actually delay two mortgage payments. All this depends on your situation. I don't know what it is you do. Ask them. They'll help you out. American financing, you can call them. If you can remember the number 866-889-2611, I'd recommend just going to americanfinancing.net, do me a favor and do a slash, Bob and Tom, or tell them that's where you heard about it. That'll help us out. Once Again, it's American Financing.net NMLS 182334

[D]

NMLSConsumerAccess.org APR for rates in the five start at 6.327% for well qualified borrowers. Call 866-889-2611. For details about credit costs and terms,

[A]

visit American Financing.net BobandTom Average savings based on borrowers who save over $200.

[E]

Hey there. I'm Paula Pan. I help people make the smartest money decisions possible. If you don't control your money, it controls you.

[A]

If you're not in control, you have to look outside of yourself to live

[D]

the life that you want.

[A]

You're not in control. You're like, like, what is it that you actually want?

[C]

Money should follow the dreams and goals

[A]

because sometimes we make the dream and goal the money. And you've overworked yourself and you've exceeded what you've needed for the actual thing you want.

[B]

Sometimes we forget, like, what's the actual thing you want?

[E]

Afford anything. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[D]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios at the news desk, Christy Lee.

[E]

Yep, right here.

[D]

There's Pat Godwin.

[C]

Hello, Chick.

[D]

Hello, Pat. There's Josh Arnold.

[B]

You guys enjoying the year of the semi quincentennial?

[E]

Oh, is that what it is?

[B]

Yeah, that's it.

[D]

What do you mean, semi?

[A]

Semi? Is it something?

[B]

Yeah, semi quincentennial.

[D]

It's not quim Centennial.

[B]

No, but.

[C]

Or do.

[B]

It could be.

[A]

Got half sauce.

[D]

There's Ace Cosby. How long is Hef Christine.

[B]

And the semi. Quim is a Jimmy.

[D]

When did he die? Oh, semi. I'm Chick. Hello Tom. And it might be time for 2017.

[B]

It should be. It's a wild cup.

[A]

Why? No, that doesn't make sense.

[B]

It's not a wild cup. You're right. It is the World Cup. It's really stupid.

[D]

Now.

[B]

Here's the one I really effed up.

[D]

Here's the one that really doesn't make. This one doesn't make sense to me and I don't know why. We have a hero.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, is really. Oh, oh, here. Here you go.

[C]

That works.

[A]

That was a great song. Well, problematic ten years after.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Admittedly there are some lyrical issues, but there we go.

[D]

Remember how big that song was?

[E]

Number one song of that year.

[D]

My God, it was everywhere.

[E]

I remember that countdown like it was yesterday.

[A]

Yeah. I remember climbing down the ladder to turn it off.

[B]

We actually sang that in Sunday school.

[D]

And check Chuck Negron.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Higher in a kite singing that Rest in peace. He liked. He liked the dragon.

[A]

Tom, is that the heroine? The H. Oh, yeah, the H. Okay, Brandon, nice.

[D]

You know British say H H H

[A]

instead of H. Fascinating.

[C]

Okay,

[A]

now we have

[D]

as delicate as gossamer over here, people.

[A]

Okay, so are we gonna have a World cup update?

[D]

Yes, we are. The coach of Iran's World cup team says it was ordered to leave the United States. Don't come back. Okay. Added that last point. And to return to its training base in Mexico just a few hours after opening the game against New Zealand, where it ended in a 2, 2 draw. They said the Iranians were ordered to leave earlier than planned. The team had expected to spend the night in California. Little dancing, a little Nightline.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

The Iranians World cup cycle has been in upheaval, of course, since the US and Israel began a war, but didn't. February 28th. I thought we wrapped it up this morning.

[A]

This morning they're saying that they're going to have an agreement signed. This. Maybe that'll. It seems that we're just bad hosts.

[B]

No, this could have also been done semi for their safety.

[E]

Safety is what I was thinking too, because there were a lot of protesters and.

[D]

Yeah, but couldn't we prank them in the hotel? You know, I short sheet them and stuff and.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I mean, I'm more for that.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

A thousand paper cuts, you know what I mean?

[D]

That's right. Turn the reference Knows what?

[B]

But until ink is on paper, I don't think any.

[D]

I mean, I think anyhow tiny Cape Verde that you were making fun of yesterday day. Were.

[A]

Were you?

[D]

No, I think you were.

[A]

I just asked. I asked where it was. I never heard of it.

[B]

No, you said it was like an or something.

[A]

Yeah, I didn't. I. I thought. No, I said is it a restaurant? I. That's where I. There's a nice.

[D]

Mar. Is a fine restaurant here. I don't know if it's nationwide.

[B]

Not at all very local.

[A]

Maybe they have one in. Maybe they have one in Cape Cod.

[D]

They stunned the World cup world. In their debut heavily favored Spain, one of the two time top top favorites. Spain and Argentina scoreless nothing nothing draw yesterday.

[A]

That had to be exciting.

[D]

And their goaltender for Cape Verde, his name is Vha.

[E]

Oh, I like that.

[A]

Well, that sounds like a drug they'd be advertising in the evening.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

He's 40 years old. He denied Spain a gold and he has caught the Internet by storm. That's. What song is that? Oh, Venus.

[A]

Yeah. It's no. Good thing. For those of you that are just joining us, you want to hear a little bit? All of you and the Raiders. Here comes now.

[C]

Good thing.

[E]

New man. So we had to hear that and not.

[B]

I know.

[E]

Find young candles.

[B]

I don't want to live in a world where we choose to play that good thing over the fine young Candace.

[D]

Thank you, Laura.

[A]

Paul Revere and the Raiders, ladies and gentlemen.

[C]

1965.

[B]

This is a good song.

[D]

What happened?

[A]

What happens?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I think Leon Russell wrote a couple of their hits.

[D]

No. Yeah.

[C]

Really?

[A]

I think so. Live into Christmas.

[D]

Here we go. Oh, he says girl here.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And

[A]

this was their big hit.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Wasn't he from. I. Is he from Idaho?

[D]

Mark Lindsay.

[A]

No.

[B]

Paul Revere.

[D]

Paul Revere. Paul Revere wasn't the main guy. Mark Lindsay was the lead singer.

[A]

He. Name of the band.

[C]

He was those.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Well, just because his name's on it.

[D]

Yeah, but Paul Revere.

[A]

So it's like a Jay Gyles band thing.

[C]

Exactly.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Where Jay Gyles was the guitar guy and did nothing. Not Peter Wolf they could have replaced.

[B]

Like this show. Your name's on it, but you're the least needed.

[A]

I think so.

[D]

Yeah, that's.

[A]

That's correct. Yeah. We want to change it to the Josh Arnold.

[B]

No, we don't.

[A]

Well, didn't. We didn't. Wasn't it deterred by Christy Lee that Paul Revere's actual name at birth was Paul Revere? Dick. Dick.

[E]

Born in Harvard Nebraska.

[D]

Oh, well, you know, they call Harvard Nebraska, the Harvard of the Midwest.

[E]

He was known as being the idea man behind the band.

[B]

That's right.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Once again, when Dick Clark was in here, I don't know how he got talking about this. Probably one of my dumb ideas. And he was telling me that Paul Revere was this one of the great businessmen in the history of rock and roll.

[E]

Well, even though he was born in Nebraska, he was. Was really raised on a farm outside of Boise, Idaho.

[D]

There we go.

[E]

That's where the band came together.

[C]

Okay, now it's Sammy Hager, right? The best businessman. Who's the best?

[E]

He's a good one.

[C]

He's got to be up there.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Used to be Jimmy Buffett.

[B]

Jethro, or. I'm sorry, Ian Anderson.

[C]

Oh, it's the salmon.

[B]

Yeah, but no, that's Alice Cooper is as well.

[C]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah, they're.

[A]

Yeah, the salmon thing that Ian Anderson did from Jethro Troll. That's been over for a long time. Oh, I didn't know that. That didn't work.

[D]

Once again, the goalkeeper for Cape Verde, Vozina.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So is that a. Is that our World cup hunk? Is that it?

[D]

Well, actually, yes. Ivory coast beat Ecuador one nothing.

[E]

Oh, I saw that one.

[D]

Everything else, Sweden over Tunisia. We named the dog Indiana.

[B]

The World cup should just be countries who have an army of at least more than 40 dudes.

[C]

I had money.

[D]

Interesting guidelines. Sweden. Sweden, 5 to 1 over Tunisia, Spain and as we said, Verde, 00. Belgium and Egypt, 1 1.

[B]

Look at Tom.

[D]

Saudi and Uruguay. Or as Homer Simpson would say, saudi and you are gay. One goal apiece. And Iran and New Zealand, two games. Two goals apiece.

[A]

And they are predicting a baby boom. Remember that story we had about a baby boom? With all the World cup viewing and like I said, many times, at least somebody's scoring. Wow, these games got to be boring now.

[B]

If you like soccer. They're not.

[A]

I don't understand. Why is the clock going backwards? I don't get that.

[B]

Well, but you don't need to get it. You don't like it.

[A]

That's true.

[E]

And they add minutes, too. Did you know that?

[D]

There's extra.

[E]

Yeah, they always.

[D]

But nobody knows how much extra time.

[B]

Just the rest until the end.

[E]

Until the end.

[D]

It's a secret.

[B]

Yeah, but you don't care about it, so just shut up about it.

[A]

No, no, I've stated I don't care about it. And you guys keep talking about it.

[B]

When you keep stating you don't care about something.

[A]

I Enjoy hating things.

[D]

Josh, why do you think I hired chick boy? Ain't that the truth.

[A]

People don't appreciate how important it is to dislike things in this world.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Come on, let me hear you.

[D]

We Are the world.

[F]

Come on.

[B]

That's funny.

[A]

Okay, now that's. That's funny.

[B]

That's.

[A]

That's the first time that song's been any good.

[B]

Oh, am I the only one that actually enjoys We Are the World?

[E]

I like the. And I love the documentary. Did you watch.

[C]

I like the documentary, but the song's dreadful.

[E]

Oh, no.

[B]

Okay. Maybe you like it, though. I think maybe because I was seven.

[E]

Positive or.

[B]

You know, when we love to sing

[C]

it, it sounds like a jingle.

[A]

Now that we've done. Now that we've. Now that we've sacrificed 20 minutes of our time, we're going to go back to living in Beverly Hills, banging hookers and doing coke.

[C]

Coke. Yeah.

[B]

Good luck with that food thing.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

Sorry. Those folks are starving.

[A]

We really don't give a crap. I hate this. That song. I can't.

[D]

Is that Typoon? I think that might be.

[A]

It's an awful song.

[D]

Well, this story is.

[A]

Oh, sure. The sentiments.

[C]

It's no. Teach the world to sing

[D]

this. This especially for Josh Arnold.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

PCA of the Cubs. That's Pete Crow. Armstrong. You're right. Tom went into the Chicago Cubs record book next to hall of hall of Fame.

[B]

Slugger Simmons is inducted.

[D]

That's right. He hit for the cycle, got a single. It went to first base.

[A]

Did he get a Harley or a Rice lead off?

[D]

And he got thrown. Picked off first base. Just for you, Joe.

[F]

Josh.

[D]

Transfer quarterback Brendan Sorsby will not play for Texas Tech this fall. He's instead planning to enter the NFL supplemental draft on June 22. It ends an unprecedented legal fight over the college eligibility of a player who had acknowledged betting on college and pro sports. This guy when he was Indiana quarterback. At least 40 bets on the Hoosier football team.

[A]

Well, if you're betting on your own

[E]

team, you know, when you're the quarterback

[D]

and have control, and then you got

[A]

to win, you got to get those points on.

[E]

Maybe he voted. Maybe he bet that they'd lose.

[D]

According to reports, the wagers were. Those wagers were among 2,900 bets he made. Totally. Roughly $90,000.

[B]

At least.

[A]

He does have a problem. He's got a lot of free time.

[D]

But I was waiting for you. If he goes to the NFL, what team does he automatically go to?

[A]

Raiders.

[D]

That's exactly right. Okay. That's Exactly. Wow. That was science. Women's WM winner of the Archleester award. That was Minnesota and Golden State one last night and beloved duck named Marlon. Hey, Marlon, did you happen to see the most beautiful. God, it's marlin. Is it marlin? A beloved duck named Merlin has become the unofficial World cup mascot in Mexico. Images of Merlin.

[A]

We have a picture of Merlin the

[D]

duck parading through Mexico City wearing a Mexican national team jersey and socks. Quickly went viral on social media following.

[A]

Is this an actual duck? Oh my God. It is a duck.

[D]

It's a real duck.

[A]

Oh, he's so cute.

[D]

He's got a little suit on, little

[E]

shoes on a duck.

[D]

It's very careful.

[A]

Oh, that's great.

[D]

You know, my boy Bobcat owns a duck.

[E]

Yeah, he does.

[A]

I've seen a couple ducks.

[D]

Yeah, he loves ducks. The two year old duck is a familiar sight at events in the historic city center where he accompany his. He's with his owner Carla Gomez as she sells water and soft drinks. Merlin's newfound international fame.

[A]

Why Merlin?

[D]

He's a magic duck, I guess.

[A]

When is it like. Should be like El Cuaco or something.

[B]

I like El Cco.

[A]

I mean if it's a Mexican duck. Come on, Merlin. I mean it's nice that Merlin is a magician finally. But I mean El Quacko. I'd go to see. I'd go to see El Quack.

[B]

I would do. Unless he was a doctor.

[A]

Dr. Quacko.

[B]

Dr. El Quacko.

[A]

That's even funnier.

[D]

You're. Oh, here we go.

[A]

When you go to the proctologist, if you. Can you imagine if he had a little mascot. Hey, doctor, who's that? Why you had that duck over there in the corner. Oh, that's El Cue. I'm about to enter your El Cue. My index finger.

[B]

Oh, please don't.

[D]

She's doing something. I know that's wrong.

[A]

I'm sorry. So what. What's El Cue doing?

[D]

Getting a picture taken? He's becoming a viral sensation.

[B]

That's it.

[D]

It's a real. It's a real.

[E]

It was all over. The thing about. You did the right thing.

[A]

The thing about Merlin. I mean that name is so associated with wizardry, right?

[D]

In the great world of industry of wizardry.

[A]

No, but I'm saying if your name is Jeeves, for example, you're kind of typecast, right? Yeah, there's a thing. But Merlin's the same thing. Although I do have a acquaintance named Merlin who is incredibly gifted and brilliant, very smart.

[B]

So his first name is Merlin.

[A]

Yeah, and he's real bright.

[E]

Very rich.

[B]

Does he wear a tall, pointy hat?

[E]

No. He's an attractive young man. Just had a baby not too long ago.

[B]

Does the baby wear a tall point? Yes.

[A]

Absolutely.

[C]

Yes. What circles do you two run in?

[A]

It's a long story.

[E]

It's a long story.

[A]

Wait a minute. We'd have to put off that world record.

[D]

Well, okay, what's.

[A]

Is there a geographical location for that world record?

[D]

You said Boise, Idaho, I guess.

[A]

Boise. That must mean my buddy David Brush.

[D]

Must be.

[A]

And it's a good one.

[D]

Nope.

[A]

No, he's not. And the next time he does this record, we got to get him some. We could have him. Bob and Tom accoutrement.

[B]

He didn't even thank us for the balloons we gave. He did.

[A]

Yes, he did. This record may or may not involve balloons.

[D]

It does.

[A]

Also coming up, will taking laxatives help your memory?

[B]

Huh?

[D]

What if you forget to take them with your crap?

[A]

Then you'll forget where the toilet is. That'd be bad.

[B]

Hey, where am I? Where's my underwear? Foolish

[D]

bozinha.

[A]

Nice cap on it. We're coming Back to the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[D]

Just gotta get a hold of us. Call, text or email. Get all the contact information you [e-mail]. this is the Bob and Tom Show. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show with the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee at the news desk. There's Pat Godwin.

[C]

Hey, Chick.

[D]

Hey, man. There's Josh Arnold. What's up, sluts? All right. There's Ace Cosby.

[B]

Common greetings.

[E]

Speak for yourself.

[D]

I'm Chick McGee.

[E]

The days are over.

[B]

It's a compliment.

[A]

So you're acknowledging it?

[F]

No.

[E]

Are you for Tom? Yes, of course. Ian wants to believe that. Let him.

[D]

Hi, Tom. Guess what time it is.

[A]

Stupid World records.

[B]

History.

[A]

Slut time.

[D]

David Rash.

[A]

This is a great one.

[B]

Oh, it's not history. It's world records.

[D]

Has broken the Guinness World Record for the longest time to keep five balloon balloons aloft in the air.

[A]

And this is.

[E]

Oh, boy.

[A]

See, this is. This is the thing. This is where you guys. You think, okay, this has to be really easy. I could do this. Mr. Rush has a lengthy essay explaining how difficult this is. The.

[D]

What I'm thinking is the instrument has not been invented to measure my indifference. World record.

[E]

Especially something like this.

[D]

17 official attempts. Rush claimed the title by keeping the balloons aloft. Five of them. One minute and 14.89 seconds.

[E]

That's it.

[D]

Christie says that's it.

[A]

See?

[E]

One minute.

[A]

Because they're balloons. And as Mr. Rush explains, they can drift. They collide, they move.

[D]

Let him speak with his words.

[A]

Do you have him on the phone?

[D]

No. Rush says keeping the balloons in the air turned out to be far harder than juggling because balloons drift, collide, move unpredictably.

[A]

I said that.

[D]

Making them surprisingly difficult.

[E]

That's because you read along with them. We know how this works.

[A]

You're giving away my secrets.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. You're fooling all of us. His first official attempt, just 58 seconds. Just short of the 1 minute minimum required for a record.

[A]

Then he got the helium idea, made it much easier.

[E]

He. This record was. Had not been set before he.

[A]

Yeah, it had to be a minimum of a one minute.

[D]

I see.

[E]

Do we have video where we go.

[A]

Do we have any video? Oh, there we go. By the way, how do you. How would you feel if you were the guy who's trying to play his. Play a game of squash or handball and he's in there dicking around with balloons.

[E]

Sir, Sir.

[A]

Look at. He's running around, he's kicking. It's amazing. He's getting all hot and sweaty.

[E]

Oh, Jesus.

[D]

He got salt in his eye.

[A]

And it took him several months of practicing to learn to do this. It looks easy, but it's very difficult. Okay, but now see, if he had Bob and Tom balloons, then we'd be getting a little publicity out of this.

[B]

Yeah, but what makes you think he wants anything to do with us anymore?

[A]

Well, he. That's because you guys are constantly belittling his amazing, amazing accomplishments.

[D]

The man who he's working with five balloons. What are we supposed to do?

[B]

I think it looked kind of fun.

[A]

It does look fun.

[B]

Yeah. Would you try.

[A]

This would be great at a kids party. I lost the will to live.

[D]

Really looks kind of fun now.

[E]

We love your enthusiasm.

[A]

No, but wouldn't it be cool at a kid's party?

[B]

It's exhausting.

[A]

You get an extra piece of cake if you keep the balloons up for more than a minute and get a world record.

[D]

Come on. You know what? Your enthusiasm gets extra piece of cake. You know what your enthusiasm. Crying driving home. Yeah, that's what I get.

[B]

You.

[A]

What would you give them? You give them your only fans.

[B]

Pass word again.

[C]

He hasn't seen that years.

[A]

Well, let's. Is that sports?

[D]

If you. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

No more duck news.

[D]

No more Merlin the duck news. Merlin the Mexican duck.

[A]

Or as I like to call them, El Quacko. That was very exciting. Well, I thought we would give Patty G a chance to sing here. Pat Godwin's got a. Got a dry bar special, they call it.

[D]

Felix has got a saying now.

[A]

Now it's on YouTube and you can watch a preview of it. A nine minute preview. It's great. And then if you want to watch the whole thing on the house, what you do is you. You type in an all caps. Pat Godwin. How does that work, Pat?

[C]

All caps. Just like I said, Pat Godwin. That's the promo code. You get a free month subscription.

[B]

Website or app?

[A]

Yep. Just go to the dry bar app and.

[E]

Yeah, website or website.

[A]

Okay. Oh, that's nice to know. Now I thought since pet you can't play the guitar, we should explain.

[C]

So I got Larry Crane to play it nice.

[D]

He's good.

[C]

Johnny G. Troy Canette on the old.

[E]

They're all good.

[C]

Dan Clark on drums.

[E]

All of them.

[B]

Johnny Galecki. John E. G. Oh, John E. G. Okay.

[C]

John Mellencamp space.

[B]

Should have gotten Johnny Galecki.

[C]

That's pretty good. Yeah.

[B]

I don't know if he plays.

[C]

He doesn't play.

[E]

Johnny G is, but I would.

[B]

I like him.

[A]

In any event, you've had surgery. You can't place. You've got some instrumentation here and. Are you ready? Ready. Okay.

[E]

Here.

[A]

Here they come. This is a very fine band. This is going to be tough to keep up with, but we'll see how you do.

[B]

Here it is.

[C]

Tried to make her laugh Try to make a smile I only have another 500 miles. We're driving to her parents she knows I hate to go she's all ticked off and the traffic is slow we had a little spat had another fight she's still furious from late last night she's mad as hell Here come the tears when we finally get there she'll be counting my beers I'm stuck in a car with an angry woman Going on an eight hour drive like being trapped with bees in a bottle and it's an angry hive I'm driving a new ev but it's not a quiet ride no I'm stuck in a car with an angry woman on an eight hour drive Tried to make her laugh Tried to make a smile I only have another 400 miles. She's annoyed about something stupid I said she's getting real loud and her face is all red she's got a pissed off list her own top 10 never forget she's not all over again She's a ripping me a new one Talking some trash that spit on a windshield she's pounding the dash I'm stuck in a car with an angry woman on an eight hour drive like being pinned by a grizzly bear there's no chance that you survive I wish a tractor trailer hit me and I crawl out the other side no, I'm stuck in a car with an angry woman on an eight hour drive Life I tried to make her last Try to make a smile I only have another 300 miles 200 miles 100 miles stuck in a car with an angry woman on an eight hour drive

[E]

hey, man, that band's good.

[D]

They are good.

[E]

Wow.

[A]

We've all been there that long. Oh, really?

[E]

No.

[A]

You never got in the car with one of your. One of your lovers who's not happy about something?

[E]

Keep going there.

[A]

You're the one.

[B]

Yeah. What about one of your lovers?

[D]

Yeah, I mean, over the.

[B]

Over the course.

[E]

I am not a fighter, you know that.

[A]

No, but I mean, is that. You never gave anybody the silent treatment.

[E]

Oh, well, there's that that you're talking about fighting. I'm not. I just. Just shut up.

[A]

So you give him the silentry.

[E]

Don't you love that?

[D]

You give them the nothing. What's wrong? Nothing.

[E]

I'm fine.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Punish me. Be quiet. Yeah. Oh, boy, this hurts. This sure is terrible.

[A]

Oh, it's a shame.

[D]

Don't throw me in the brier.

[A]

It's a shame. It's a shame. I charge these earbuds and have this great book to read me.

[E]

When you're on a long drive, who gets. Who gets to listen? And do you get to listen to the car radio? Do you listen to books on tape? What do you. Does she pick or do you?

[A]

Sometimes we'll do a book, audio book together.

[E]

Huh?

[A]

That kind of thing.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Who picks the book?

[E]

She does.

[A]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[F]

Really.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

Why wouldn't you let her pick the book?

[A]

Because she's already picked one.

[B]

Boy, that's an interesting.

[A]

See what I did there?

[B]

I need a letter. Paper.

[A]

I said. Well, came out on top of my own terrible argument. Okay, but it's a trick.

[D]

I feel like we're at the end of something. I don't know, I'm not sure what it is.

[A]

This segment coming up, coming up, we have probably the dumbest story about cheese we've ever had. We have something that I'm already angry about just by. Just by seeing the name of it. It pisses me off. It's Gob Goblintimacy Goblin.

[B]

Timacy Goblin. To like sex among goblins.

[A]

No. That would be funnier.

[E]

That would be funnier.

[A]

It's a. It's a dating trend.

[B]

Oh, I love these. Dating.

[A]

It has singles revealing their imperfections to weed out.

[C]

Say it like that.

[A]

Oh, sorry.

[B]

Please.

[E]

It's a tease.

[F]

Yes.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[B]

Show, gobble. Intimacy. The proper. Yes.

[E]

We have influence.

[A]

I'm sure. I'm sure at major college campuses. They're reviewing this right now.

[B]

And we'll be joined by Kelly Collette.

[C]

Right.

[D]

All right.

[A]

Oh, that'll be good. Ah, it is the end of something. Thank you. Hang out with us, please. This is the. Well, first of all, we're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[D]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning, even though we're not too much to look at. You can also watch the show on our YouTube channel,

[A]

our Dr. Lantern, my man.

[D]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee at the news. Daniel.

[F]

Hi.

[D]

What are you doing? What'd you just put again? It looked like you put a gun away. What the hell? There's Pat Godwin.

[C]

Hey, Chick.

[F]

I know.

[D]

I didn't expect that. There's Josh Arnold. Hi. There's Ace Cosby.

[F]

Hello.

[D]

I'm Chick McGee and Tom. We have a special guest.

[A]

She is Ms. Kelly Collette, comedian.

[F]

Hi, guys.

[A]

Hey, Kelly. How are you? Casey.

[F]

Hi. Hi. Good to be here.

[A]

Is that your nickname, Casey?

[F]

I've been called that before. I think it's very cute.

[B]

Hey, See Masterpiece. That's your full nickname.

[E]

Oh, that's a barbecue sausage.

[F]

I was gonna say, is that a chicken brand? I like it.

[A]

Did you have a nickname as a kid?

[F]

Corky. Corky, yeah.

[A]

Oh, that's cool.

[F]

There were too many girls on my soccer team named Kelly, and they were like, you get to pick your own nickname. And I was like, corky.

[B]

All right.

[F]

Yeah. And then I went to high school, and I went with a bunch of girls from the soccer team. And then when they first raised my name for a. You know, I raised my hand for attendance, they said, kelly. And I said, here. And they go, that's your name. I go, you guys thought my name was Corky? For, like, eight years, you didn't know my real name, so I thought you

[D]

were cheating in baseball. Juiced your bat. That's what I thought.

[A]

So you're a soccer player. So are you. Are you a fan of the World Cup?

[F]

I am. I'm loving it. I love it. I love it.

[D]

There you go.

[A]

You And I are out.

[F]

You guys don't like it?

[B]

No, I do. Yeah, we do. He does.

[D]

I find a way to enjoy it every four years. Tom is. He has have a code. You hate the World Cup.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Not only that, but you. You might have an issue with Kelly because she's acting like she's enjoying it. And you.

[A]

I think people are faking it. I don't.

[F]

I like women's soccer way better. Cuz the men's team, they just dive and fall down and grab their knee and start crying.

[B]

Yeah. There need to be penalties like in hockey for that.

[F]

Yeah. They'll just like lay down for 30 minutes and realize they're not getting a call.

[B]

Can't stand.

[F]

They'll start dancing.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like those folks, you go to Disney World and someone hops out of a wheelchair and prances and they get. Wait a minute. This person isn't really hurt.

[B]

Not all ailments are seen.

[D]

That can't be happening as often as you say.

[A]

Oh, I think there's a place outside Disney World they sell fake canes and bandages to put on anything to avoid the lines. Well, okay. Sorry.

[D]

Don't you have one of those doohickeys, the fast pass when you go do that? Don't you?

[A]

Oh yeah, absolutely.

[D]

Well, of course.

[A]

Be an idiot.

[D]

Idiot.

[A]

I'm just saying.

[D]

Sorry. I don't want to be an idiot. I know you wish me dead.

[A]

Kelly.

[D]

We were.

[C]

We were lost, Chick.

[A]

Kelly.

[D]

Maybe when he hope he died.

[E]

Yeah, that was probably it.

[D]

I think it might have been it.

[B]

You think that was it?

[D]

That was it probably.

[A]

I think.

[D]

Hey, hey. Tom.

[A]

Out of context.

[D]

Bozina. Okay, go ahead.

[A]

Now that Bozina is one of the players, is that correct?

[D]

He's a goalkeeper. 40 year old goalie from King. Cape Verde. Cape verde held Spain to 000 games.

[A]

That's amazing.

[D]

Your thoughts on a 00 game in the World Cup?

[A]

I know. Spain is the first seed.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Neil.

[D]

Nil.

[A]

And I see I have learned a little bit about soccer. I know the terminology. For example, my interest in the World cup is nil. So you see I've incorporated.

[B]

If only that were true. Because you're. You clearly are interested.

[A]

No, I'm not.

[D]

I don't know the British announcers. When the game gets tied up, there's the equalizer.

[B]

Yes. I love that someone who's not interested doesn't bring it up every 10 seconds.

[D]

Seconds.

[A]

No, no. But you don't understand. I'm embracing my hatred of it.

[B]

Well, we would like you to be quiet.

[A]

Okay.

[F]

It sounds like you hate watch it. Like, I hate watch TV shows that I'm not into, but you, like, gotta finish the whole season.

[A]

No, I had it on in the background. My Kelly, my wife, was watching it and I. It was on and I looked up and I said, wow. I thought this was supposed to be sold out, and there were 90% empty seats in the middle.

[E]

Here we go again.

[A]

Did you see that yet? Did you see that on Friday night?

[F]

I didn't see that.

[B]

All the tickets were sold. They just weren't in their seats.

[E]

They weren't in their seats because they're rich people and they're hobnobbing.

[F]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it is.

[A]

Well, I mean, they were surprisingly empty.

[B]

Look at all these hobnobs.

[D]

All those empty seats at the World Cup.

[A]

Do we have a little.

[D]

I think we might have.

[B]

I mean, it was astounding. There were a ton of empty seats.

[F]

They probably just stuck in, like, LA traffic.

[A]

And that was the us, the USA playing. I mean, if it was, you know, Cape Nazareth and Cape Ver, whatever the hell it was.

[D]

The White coast, you know? Jesus Christ. Isn't the goal for Cape Nazareth? I didn't know.

[F]

Learn a new country during the World cup, too. Like, as an uneducated American who doesn't know geography, when they're like, the World cup is in Qatar. I'm like, excuse me, Qatar? Yeah. Didn't even know that was a place.

[A]

No, but that's one of the good things about it. You do learn about lesser countries and

[D]

you forgot the word far.

[A]

So we'll see what happens. It should be interesting. Interesting. Now.

[D]

Should be interesting.

[A]

Your name came up earlier.

[F]

Mine?

[A]

Yes. Oh, because we have a dating story and I was trying to remember. You're divorced.

[F]

Yes, I am.

[A]

And are we living in boyfriend land

[F]

or do we are? We are. And I found now that I have a boyfriend and not a husband, I get a little bit more jealous. Now, like, recently, we were having ice cream at a shop, and I thought he checked a girl out in front of me. And I was gonna get mad about it, but then I was like, I should be smart about this. So I just said, what are you looking at? Huh? Were you looking. Were you looking at her purse? Were you looking at her purse? Because you've been thinking about buying me a new purse. Is that what you were looking at? Were you looking at her handbag? Because you're gonna get me that nice purse. Was that. And guess what?

[E]

I got a new handbag. Locked.

[F]

Oh, yeah,

[A]

that is some great logic.

[F]

Yeah. Yeah, I've.

[A]

You've given every guy out there a

[F]

thing, a cheat code. I would. No, I was just looking at her shoes. Cuz they would look so cute on you. That's a. It's a good. It's a good.

[A]

That is good to know.

[F]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Wow. I never thought of that.

[F]

It's a little trick.

[E]

You better know your purses.

[F]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

You got to know which ones are.

[D]

I was going to say. Yeah, a new purse makes up for a lot depending.

[A]

I don't know anything about what's the

[C]

cool personnel, what's the coolest one.

[E]

Oh, boy.

[C]

What do you love Steph?

[E]

Well, it depends on what level we're talking.

[F]

Yeah, it depends on what? Sometimes I'll see something like, people will talk about these Armes bags.

[E]

The Hermes or the Birkin Birkins.

[F]

They're like $40,000. 45. I'm like, that's a car.

[E]

Exactly.

[F]

And I'm. And they're just walking around.

[D]

Better get busy, Tom.

[F]

With gum in it.

[B]

Pat, you're not allowed to look like that. You. You asked that question.

[D]

I know. I regret it. Wow.

[E]

Would you have never.

[F]

No. Would you ever buy your ladies a $40,000 purse or take this one, too?

[B]

I would have to make a certain amount of money.

[A]

I wouldn't know what it looked like. Is it obvious that it's really nice?

[E]

Well, probably. You may have bought one.

[F]

Yeah. Yeah. It kind of looks like a briefcase. That's probably why men buy it for their women. They're like, here, you do your business stuff in here.

[E]

Jason put up a picture of an Hermes Birkin bag.

[D]

And in the H E R M E S, it doesn't have a label

[F]

on it or anything.

[A]

Is this. I mentioned the other day, I was over at the mall and they had an armed guard in front of one of the.

[E]

Oh, Louis Vuitton. Yeah.

[B]

Stores. Oh, the mall I go to, many people are armed, but there's never a guard.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

There are plenty of pieces in the building.

[E]

There's a Birkin for you.

[F]

Yeah. Okay. I don't think they're that cute.

[A]

I wouldn't recognize that.

[B]

Yeah, it is. I mean, you look at you go, wow. How did they get that price point?

[F]

Those are huge. Used, right?

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

Those are old.

[E]

Yeah, those are used.

[A]

Are you kidding? No, they're all washed up and used that say $42,000.

[E]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[D]

And there's 1 999. That's a million dollar. No, that's. That's ridiculous. That must be a misprint.

[E]

There's also.

[D]

If you want a hundred million dollar. That's a billion dollars. What is that?

[B]

No, that's a hundred thousand.

[F]

Oh, you have to get on the waitlist.

[E]

Yeah, you have to get on a whale.

[A]

What is. What is the nationality of Mr. Ermes?

[E]

Hermes is a French designer.

[A]

Okay, I should have known. Now, as opposed to.

[E]

I have a couple scars.

[F]

Oh, the scarves are fabulous.

[E]

They're beautiful.

[A]

As opposed to Hermie Herm, who wants to be a dentist. Sure.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

But that's, you know, sorry, you caught me doing something I wasn't supposed to do. Gift for sure. Oh, yeah, that's.

[B]

Does it make up for it?

[E]

There's a. I don't care for.

[F]

Do you watch the TV show Traders?

[A]

No.

[F]

Oh, well. What? There were two people at the very end this last season. Spoiler alert. And yeah, he was lying the whole time. And she said, I'll forgive you on national TV if you buy me a Birkin bag. And he did.

[A]

Whoa.

[F]

So, yeah, you can. The ultimate trail Traders.

[E]

What's this?

[F]

Traders is the best show on tv.

[A]

Is this. This is not trading items.

[B]

No.

[F]

It's not Pokemon cards or anything.

[A]

Oh, it's Trace. Yeah.

[F]

It's like Big Brother mixed with Survivor mixed with, like that old school mafia card game where you would vote people out. I actually had a traitor's themed 40th birthday. That's how big of a dork I am.

[E]

Oh, my gosh.

[F]

And they voted me out first. I was the. It was my birthday party and they killed me off because none of them knew how to play the game and they thought they were doing something nice. They're like, now you can watch. And I was like, I wanted to play, but thanks, guys.

[A]

Now, a couple quick things here. We're gonna have some interesting news in the world of dating from Christy Lee coming up. Oh, also, I wanted to plug Pat's Dry bar comedy special one more time.

[C]

Thanks, Kelly.

[A]

And you can go to the Dry Bar website. And after a little bit of navigation, you can find yourself checking in with Patty G. It's got a couple hundred thousand views already, so check it out.

[B]

And Kelly has one as well.

[F]

I do.

[E]

All right.

[F]

I'm gonna be in Salt Lake City this weekend for shows after my Indianapolis show show on Thursday. But yeah, that's dry bar country out there.

[D]

All right.

[A]

That's where they filmed it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You can see Patty G. There. What else is coming up in the news? Christy Lee.

[E]

Also coming up, we have cities that spend the most time on Only fans. We have a mom who's named her kids after states. I don't know how you feel about that.

[D]

Alabama. Get in here.

[A]

It's kind of interesting, actually. There's a reason Rhode Island's just a tiny little thing. Can I work so hard my life. Can you think of. Once again, can you think of any famous people named after states?

[D]

Cal Ripken.

[A]

I told you, it doesn't count.

[E]

Alabama.

[F]

Barker.

[E]

Yeah. Dakota. Fanning.

[F]

Montgomery. No, that's a state.

[D]

Montgomery Ward.

[F]

That's not a state.

[D]

Ask me, this capital. Montgomery. Go ahead. I don't know.

[A]

What's the Montgomery?

[D]

I know it's a city.

[A]

City?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

That's what.

[F]

Just a kid named Florida. You gotta assume he's not gonna grow up.

[B]

What's this? Does flow rider count?

[D]

Fl.

[A]

George Washington.

[E]

Georgia.

[B]

There has to be Georgia.

[A]

Virginia, and as you said earlier, a Tennessee Ernie Ford.

[C]

Right.

[A]

And is Tennessee Williams. Was that his real name or was that also.

[B]

Oh, no, I think it. I'll have to look it up, but I think it was. Thomas.

[C]

You got your Jersey mic.

[E]

Sure makes a good sub.

[A]

Okay, very.

[B]

And his son, New Jersey.

[A]

They're not speaking.

[D]

And the great. The great song. What did. Delaware boys. Oh, I don't know. Alaska.

[A]

That's so awful.

[D]

Come on.

[A]

We'll have to get that for you. Coming up to you from the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[D]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts of service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Christy Lee at the news desk.

[E]

Hi.

[D]

Doing hand exercises, I guess.

[E]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't want arthritis in my fingers.

[D]

No, nobody wants it.

[C]

No. No.

[D]

There's Pat Godwin.

[C]

Hello.

[D]

There's Josh Arnold. Hi. Ace Cosby.

[B]

Hello.

[D]

I'm Chick and Tom. We have a special guest joining us in the studio.

[A]

Comedian Kelly Colette is here with us and she also has one of those dry bar comedy specials. I bring it up because Pat Godwin's is the latest just released. And you can find out more information on the website or download the app. There's even a nine minute preview you can watch. It's great stuff, Pat. Congratulations. But right now, I thought we would let Kelly weigh in on the latest in the dating scene in the world of news.

[E]

A new dating trend called Goblin Goblin Intimacy.

[B]

Goblintimacy.

[E]

Thank you. Has singles revealing their imperfections to weed out incompatible partners.

[D]

Oh, I like this.

[E]

This trend involves people deliberately, Josh, showing off their unpolished, fully authentic selves. Like me, with no makeup today, including floss, quirks and baggage on early dates.

[A]

So, Josh, you pick up this gal, she gets in the car, you immediately release excessive flatulence.

[B]

I don't. I mean, that seems extreme.

[A]

You turn the window thing off so she can't lower the window. This is. Yeah, this is me.

[E]

The idea is that by exposing your inner goblin early on, you will discourage partners who would never be the right fit in the line.

[A]

I like this because if someone would use the word goblin to Missy in front of me, I would immediately not want to ever speak to them.

[E]

Dating coach Damona Hoffman told USA Today that it's not surprising that radical honesty would become popular among some single tired of artifice and fakery. Sure, in an era of dating apps and artificial intelligence, I insist on it.

[B]

And I use those words in every first date.

[E]

Do you?

[B]

I will not put up with any fakery or Artemis.

[D]

By the way, six months is the maximum. Most people can fake a different self.

[E]

I thought it was a year.

[F]

I thought it was three months.

[B]

Who does that?

[D]

Six months. Six months and you know, people will tell you who they are. You just have to listen.

[B]

I can't be the exception there. You don't present yourselves as yourselves.

[D]

Oh, God, no. It's like a salesman.

[E]

A lot of people don't.

[D]

You're putting your best self out, put

[C]

a gloss on them.

[E]

And then when you do, people don't want to believe that that's really you because you were so great before.

[F]

At the six month mark, they're just like, okay, time to take this toupee off. Just have some big reveal of.

[A]

Well, I guess you might have figured out the alcoholism and the bad in bed thought thing.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

What else have I got?

[F]

I don't know. I don't know about showing everything right off the bat.

[B]

I mean, some things you don't need to.

[F]

Yeah. I feel like if they. The more you love them more, the more you accepting are of these little flaws. They're not going to get to the getting to know you love you part if you're just like, take me as

[A]

I am, I'm not working after six months. Oh, by the way, I have six kids.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, I think that never came up.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, still, you need some effort.

[F]

Effort. Yeah.

[B]

Right. You're not showing up in your sweatpants stained shirt.

[F]

It's a respect thing. I show. I show effort enough to put on a clean pair of Whatever.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I think a good example of this would be maybe on an early date, you do something that. I think you talked about this, Josh. You order some kind of food that's sort of funky where you have to, you know, chicken wings where you got to pick it up with your hands. And instead of going to some fancy place where you've.

[D]

Hmm.

[B]

No, that's not my technique. I don't know who that is, but I. I'm not against that order. What you want?

[D]

Yeah, I mean, that's fine if you're

[A]

doing something that's a little bit. Requires kind of a sense of humor to deal with.

[B]

Yeah, I.

[E]

Chicken wings.

[B]

For me. Maybe an honest. An honest thing. Goblintimate thing would be, you know, I have a. I have a Chucky doll. I have a Chucky and Tiffany doll, actually.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

And then maybe that's like a note to where maybe some would be like. That's weird.

[D]

And don't go in the shed. Whatever.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I have a full size Jason Voorhees in my shed.

[E]

Yeah, that I would be out.

[B]

Well, yeah, see, but that would be good because I would want the person who likes horror films.

[E]

Yes, exactly.

[F]

Also, you're playing with that feather like a French tickler dominatrix. So you can just bring that feather.

[B]

It's been a hard habit for me to break ever since I stopped being a domination.

[F]

Exactly. Gotta bring that on.

[A]

Now, Pat, would you say something like. By the way, you may have noticed I have my own parking space marked at the pawn shop.

[C]

Pawn shop. They have to pick me up at the apartment. So I pretty. Pretty sure they're aware of my situation.

[B]

What would one of Tom's goblintimate secrets be that he. You could. He. You could discuss on a.

[E]

He has to have control over everything.

[D]

No, I think I. I would maybe submit. He's insane. How about that?

[B]

If he. If he were to break out some

[A]

purell like sanitizer all the time.

[B]

Let's say he put ketchup on his plate and then immediately purelled his hands.

[F]

But that's like opposite of goblin goblins. Like bedrotting and sloppy and unwell. But that's like clean.

[D]

Right.

[B]

But it's.

[A]

It could be something that is potential flaw peculiar or something peculiar to the

[F]

other person and like expose your ick right away.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or you know, they can. And what were the. We had a news story about the ick. Yeah, the. Exactly. That was. That was the true use. Sorry. Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking. Is there something that I Might do that. Some people would find okay. Others would find incredibly off put.

[E]

Obviously there's somebody for everyone.

[D]

Cutting the elastic off the top of your socks. Too confining. You're paranoid.

[E]

You're paranoid of everything.

[C]

Your hem, jeans.

[B]

Neurotic. You are paranoid.

[D]

You walk around in the middle of the night, 3, 4am in the morning with the dogs lit up like a Christmas tree.

[A]

There's a guy right now that wasn't paranoid lying on a slab in some morgue. Should have been paranoid there, pal.

[D]

I just wish I could have met your Aunt Flo because she's the one who did all this imprinting and she needs smacked around a little bit. But thankfully she's died.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

He wished me dead earlier.

[B]

He did.

[D]

Thank you.

[E]

There's a new kind of influencer out there.

[B]

Oh, yay.

[E]

It's a loneliness influencer who is chronicling the solitary lifestyle and brags about having no friends.

[D]

Well, here I am again.

[E]

Part of a trend.

[B]

Used to be called incels.

[F]

Get ready with me to go nowhere.

[E]

They're part of a trend on social media where people who live alone share their routine to followers. One such creator, Pauline C E shares videos of herself getting ready for work, making food, tidying up, stroking her cat. With almost all, including the text pov, you live alone in in New York City and have no friends. She also shares positive messages about being alone while users write in her comments about how they resonate with her perspective or how it helped them to come to terms with their own loneliness.

[A]

Right.

[D]

Even Superman had a fortress of solitude. Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Is this about being lonely or about being alone? There's a huge distinction.

[E]

There's a big difference. I don't know. That's just how it's written.

[A]

So they come to terms with their loneliness by sharing?

[D]

By getting a friend. No, I don't.

[E]

Well, because then they get attention through social media.

[F]

I've been doing this for months. I don't know. I didn't know it was a thing that they branded. This is just my social media.

[A]

I think one of the ways you measure friendship. How many people would you take to the air? Airport.

[F]

Ah.

[A]

Get a phone call.

[D]

I need to write a short ass list.

[C]

Help move too. Is a big one.

[E]

Not anymore. I won't even help my kids move.

[D]

Yeah, I don't think anybody in this room. I know that.

[E]

You wouldn't take any of us to the airport.

[D]

Hell no.

[B]

What if we were on the same flight?

[D]

No, you get the bus or shoe leather express.

[A]

I think we've aged out of helping Somebody move.

[E]

Yes, but.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, we have the airport run.

[D]

Where were we. Where were we going? To do that movie. I looked at Josh. They said, you picking me up or am I picking you up? I'm driving low, Remember that? You said.

[B]

But I also knew how it worked.

[D]

Oh, yeah, yeah, sure, it was fun. It was a fun thing. He didn't wish me dead.

[A]

I wish I could remember what context that was in because it was so accurate.

[B]

What's that? The.

[C]

The death.

[A]

No, no, no. The. The wishing Chick dead. I'm forgetting how I did that.

[D]

It's just nice.

[B]

You said something would make everybody happy. Much like when Chick died.

[A]

Oh, okay. There, there. There we go. There we go. Josh.

[D]

Saying it makes it fun.

[A]

Yeah, I see. So. Loneliness.

[E]

Loneliness.

[A]

The lo. What are they? Loneliness, influence.

[B]

If it helps other people feel less lonely. Great, great.

[A]

Now, how many people do you think around here would you take to the airport? Josh, now this. You live probably 40 minutes from the airport.

[B]

Okay. Like in my circle of friends. Yeah. Most everybody that works here. I would.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I'd be. I'll be calling you Friday.

[B]

I mean, the. The resentment that would build inside me would be immeasurable, but I would do it.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Oh, it'd be voodoo time.

[A]

Yeah, that's a pretty good question.

[B]

No, I've started looking at things like that as opportunities.

[E]

Opportunities for what?

[C]

Growth.

[B]

Ask that person questions.

[F]

Maybe I. Captive audience.

[B]

Maybe there's. And this is true, this is an interesting many to many.

[D]

But here we go.

[B]

Maybe on the way to or from the airport, there's a new pond. I haven't fished and I can stop.

[A]

That's interesting. I like that.

[F]

That's not a metaphor.

[E]

No, he fishes.

[F]

Okay.

[D]

No, he would see if he. What pond he wants to wet his worm in.

[B]

That's.

[C]

That.

[B]

That's the metaphor.

[E]

You know what I find fascinating? We work together every single day for all these years and we've never been. I've been to Chick's house.

[A]

That's it.

[D]

Well, but it's been a while.

[E]

It's been a while. I've been to Oscar's house because he lives real close.

[D]

My house is close. For repairs.

[E]

Really?

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I've never been to any of your places. I've been to Pats.

[C]

You were there a month ago.

[D]

I thought you were at my house party. No. Nope.

[B]

You've been to the exterior of my house.

[A]

Well, that's because when I found out. When I found out that you had. You were buying a house.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You hadn't even moved in yet. And so it was a surprise. I had Amy make a cake that looked like your house. So I had to skulk around and take pictures of it.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

So I know where you live. I forget. I couldn't find it.

[E]

Now I think we should have a field trip day and go to each other's houses.

[B]

Shut up.

[D]

I just remembered. Pat Godwin stayed at my house. It was not my idea, but Pat stayed at my house. It was delightful.

[C]

Delightful.

[D]

And ate the dog's peanut butter.

[C]

I did not notice. It was delicious. It was.

[D]

Even though it was a big.

[C]

It was gritty.

[D]

It was a big jar of Jif. And on the red. The red top written in black Sharpie Dogs.

[A]

That's the one you used to.

[D]

For the dogs to stuff the. Put it on. Yeah.

[B]

I thought it was really stuffed first. And then ate the peanut butter.

[A]

I see. Well, Christy, what else you got over there?

[E]

OnlyFans has released data on how much money the country spent on its platform last year. Oh, by country, by cities. Oh, yeah.

[F]

This country.

[E]

Yeah. According to the site's metrics, the United States spends an estimated 2.63 billion annually on OnlyFans.

[D]

Billion.

[E]

2.63 billion.

[B]

How can I. What can I show on there? Are there. Are there women interested in my feedback? I know there'd be gay guys.

[D]

I'm going to tell you. Gay guys and ladies. Yeah.

[E]

You could make money.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

You're leaving money on the table.

[B]

I get pedicures.

[A]

I've never been on Only Fans. Do they limit it to non genitalia? No exposure.

[B]

You can have. You. You can make full.

[F]

I have an Only Fans comedy special. They put them out and.

[B]

Right.

[F]

And signing a contract. You have to be on the platform for six months. So I would just do writing sessions.

[B]

Yeah. You can do non sex things on OnlyFans. In fact, for a while. Right. For a while there they tried to lean into it.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

That we weren't just a sex thing. And then.

[F]

And then. Yeah. We did a comedy and people were like, take your shirt off. Come on, guys.

[E]

Out of the 167 cities included in the platform's data, what city do you think ranked number one? Number one. With residents spending nearly 26. $6.2 million.

[D]

Salt Lake City, Utah.

[E]

That's third.

[A]

That's a great guess, though.

[B]

I'm gonna say.

[D]

They're all pent up, man.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

And yeah.

[B]

It might be something like Des Moines. No.

[D]

Bakersfield, California. Sorry.

[E]

No.

[D]

You're not much of a proctor, you know that?

[A]

Yeah. We could Guess all day you'll never get Atlanta.

[E]

Georgia is number okay.

[B]

All right.

[C]

Yes.

[E]

Number two, Orlando, Florida.

[F]

Florida vibes.

[D]

Florida man. Yeah.

[E]

Number three, Salt Lake. Number four Miami. Number five, Minneapolis. Six is Cleveland. Seven Denver. Eight Seattle nine St. Louis ten Las Vegas.

[A]

What's interesting is I mean Salt Lake City is significantly smaller than Atlanta. So if on a. On a per capita basis there. There's a whole other list of per capita by state that's pretty interesting.

[E]

Yeah, by only. But this is per capita only fans spend. So what do you. Okay, so District of Columbia is number one.

[B]

Oh that a lot of money coming out of there. Okay.

[E]

North Dakota 2 Nevada. 3 Colorado 4 Illinois 5 Arizona. New Mexico. Washington, New Hampshire. California. Rounding them out.

[A]

All right, New Hampshire. I can't apply any logic to this. This, these numbers. Nothing.

[E]

What do you mean?

[A]

I'm not sure if it's really illustrative of anything except what's the correlation?

[F]

Right.

[A]

Yeah. There's no like oh, the Midwest. It does seem that the. I don't know. I. I just can't figure out any. Any reasonable assessment of what this means.

[F]

Well, Atlanta has all those strip clubs right. Magic City and all places. So maybe it's just a very sex positive place.

[E]

Even though Salt Lake City spent was number three on the spent the most Provo, Utah number four on the cities that spent the least on only fans.

[C]

Oh, all right, I could see that.

[E]

Just looky lose Sandy, Utah number three where Sandy.

[A]

This is the least spent on.

[F]

Oh yeah. Maybe people are on there and they're just not spending any money too like

[E]

you said that could be.

[F]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

Paradise, Nevada leads the cities that spent the least on onlyfans.

[A]

I'd be more interested in numbers of men that are spending money versus women.

[B]

I'm sure you could be 98% to 2%.

[A]

Yeah, I would think.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Almost exclusively men. I'd also like to see the age numbers. How does that skew? Are they getting. Do they get a lot of right. Older guys or.

[B]

Yeah, it's a younger.

[E]

Don't you think it's a younger platform?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

No, not spending money.

[E]

Oh yeah.

[D]

I'll have to.

[A]

I'll try to do a little more research. I did find this though. The 10 most poor. This is the list is described as the most porn engaged states. All right, but again it boy, what is that Arizona?

[D]

What is that based.

[B]

So most viewing minutes from.

[A]

Yeah, yeah but the problem with this number is it. It's not per capita. So obviously the bigger states. See the first three are California, New York, And Texas.

[E]

Ah, so three biggest.

[A]

But they do have it by genre, and this is disturbing. The most popular family in California porn is animated

[E]

anime shoe.

[F]

Is it a Disney?

[A]

Dominating. Dominating. The list of the top 10 is lesbian porn.

[D]

You know, a guy in high school had Charlie Brown and Lucy in a little comic. They were going at us boys when I was in high school.

[B]

That's how this still only cost 5 cents.

[D]

Yeah, something like that. She gave him advice.

[A]

You'll recall we had Dr. June Rynish on from the Kinsey Institute.

[B]

Oh, she doesn't look rinish.

[A]

And that's how very, very rhynish that was. That was the prominent. The dominant, rather type of porno. Whatever. 80 years ago they would. It would be parodies of, like, Dick Tracy and. And Charlie. Et cetera, et cetera.

[B]

The first porn I ever saw, my buddy Mike Russick's house. We were. It was like 10 of us neighborhood kids. Was called Little Often Annie. So that was based on an old comic strip. Least.

[D]

It was so unpleasant.

[A]

Little Annie Fanny or something. It was really stupid. And Playboy never funny.

[B]

She have no pupils, like. Like Little Orphan.

[D]

No, I mean, as cartoons go, she was pretty hot.

[B]

It was.

[A]

It was really sad.

[B]

Who's the hottest cartoon you've ever seen? What? What? I mean, you got your Jessica Rabbit.

[D]

Oh, yeah, yeah. It begins and ends.

[A]

I never like that.

[F]

Did you ever read Mad magazine? They always had those cartoons with the girls with the.

[A]

Yeah, but Mad was always real clean.

[B]

Yeah, but they had cleavage. Ladies.

[F]

So busty.

[D]

What is that? The Vargas.

[E]

Vargas girls.

[A]

That was Playboy.

[D]

Yeah, those were drawing.

[E]

Yeah, those are pretty.

[A]

They did a nice job in the top 10 in this porno survey. Lesbian porn is the dominant porn. In Georgia, it's ebony porn.

[E]

Ah, that makes sense.

[A]

Yeah. In Hawaii, it's Japanese porn. And in Florida. I'm not kidding, it's anal porn.

[F]

Oh, Florida.

[C]

Sometimes it can be hurty.

[E]

Coming up, we're gonna take a look at history.

[B]

Clean your ass.

[D]

Shave your crack. I believe. Believe Christy has something to tell us about Hyundai.

[E]

I don't want to transition.

[A]

I have a. I have. I have a palate cleanser.

[D]

I'm sorry. No, no, I've got one. Vozina.

[B]

Is that the beginning of I Dream of Genie?

[D]

I'm not. It might be.

[F]

Yes, master.

[A]

Coming up. Coming up, a real estate agent's absolute nightmare out of the state of Arkansas. But first, Christy, what are you doing over there?

[D]

That does sound like I. And then I think it's about to go into it.

[E]

Well, we're playing that because of the goalie. That is for what? World cup team?

[D]

Oh, it was Cape Verde.

[E]

Yes, Cape Verde, please. As folks watch the FIFA World cup and look at the stars that are coming around. They're turning heads at the age of 14. Already a brand new generation of talent. Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation. And neither does Hyundai. Hyundai's always moved the future within reach. They did it when they made advanced safety standard on every vehicle and they engineered their EVs with ultra fast charging capabilities.

[B]

I was engineering.

[E]

Thank you. They're still doing it every day. Because the future isn't some far off concept. It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA.

[A]

Thank you very much, FIFA. And coming up, a little bit of history. What did I say?

[B]

You said thank you very much, FIFA.

[F]

Different thing. You love the world.

[B]

We don't have FIFA money yet.

[D]

Look, I, I'm behind you 100.

[E]

What?

[D]

You're hating, but you gotta keep on it.

[E]

You can't be flip flopping FIFA money

[F]

if you love that.

[A]

FIFA.

[D]

There you go.

[A]

Coming up, we have the dumbest story about cheese you'll ever hear.

[B]

Now that's odd because we all tend to love cheese.

[A]

Yeah, but cheese grommet. It's really, really dumb. And we have. Will laxatives improve your memory? Memory? We're gonna find out what scientists say.

[D]

Good night.

[A]

I remember when I. I remember where the toilet is. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[D]

Want to share a letter or comment? Our email is bobandtomobandtom.com. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. At the news desk, it's Christy Lee.

[E]

Hello.

[D]

There's Pat Godwin.

[C]

Hey, Chick.

[D]

Hello, Josh Arnold.

[B]

Hey, Trickster.

[D]

There's Ace Cosby.

[B]

Howdy.

[D]

I'm Chick. Hello, Tom. We've got a guest today.

[A]

I look over there and I see the Lovely Kelly Collette AC masterpiece. Among other things. A Ms. Collette will be doing her stand up comedy in Omaha, Nebraska, coming up on the 15th of July at the Funny Bone. Then Des Moines. Funny Bone. Did I say Funny Boone?

[E]

You did.

[A]

Funny bone. Oh, you know Pat Boone. Not recognized for his great stand up. No, sorry. The Funny Bone in Des Moines, July 16th and then Dr. Grins in Grand Rapids, July 30th and 31st. She has joined us here in the studio. And did you ever take any history in school?

[F]

I love history.

[A]

Do you know?

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, then, then you should be good at this next segment. Maybe you can help one of my

[F]

favorites

[A]

now, do you know what you call the 250th birthday?

[F]

They it's not the center centennial.

[A]

Here's Josh was 100. Bicentennial was 200.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

This is the semi quincentennial.

[F]

Oh, I don't like that.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So is that half of five. I'm in favor of that half of 500, right?

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Quincentennial, right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It. It doesn't. Mouthful doesn't flow the way bicentennial did.

[F]

It took history, not Latin.

[D]

What are we going to do for the quincentennial top?

[A]

Maybe get Doug up.

[B]

You don't think your heads will be in jars in front of microphone somewhere?

[D]

Well, I certainly hope so.

[A]

Now we've already reviewed some birthdays on this date. For example, the birthday of the great Apache leader Geronimo, born in 1829 and we discovered buried in the famous Beef Creek Cemetery.

[D]

Oh, if it's famous, why have none of us ever heard of it?

[B]

We probably should have.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, is it our fault we have?

[F]

Might be.

[A]

Yeah. Born in 1890, Stan Laurel, the non fat genius. One of Laurel and Hardy. And we are. We already covered a lot of these. But let's get to the events in history. We mentioned this one briefly in 1884, the first roller coaster in America at Coney Island.

[F]

That was on the New York Times crossword like three days ago.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that had to be terrifying.

[B]

Oh, I'm sure I've never been to Coney island. Have you guys?

[E]

No, no, no.

[A]

It's like a regular park, but a lot dirtier.

[D]

But all the hot dogs have chili on them. I don't care for it.

[F]

You probably get hit in the face with a seagull if you're riding on that coaster.

[A]

This is a good one. On in 1935. 1935, the United States Congress accepted Franklin Delano Roosevelt. New deal.

[B]

Ah.

[A]

And I don't know if you remember this. He hosted it in the radio. The show was called let's Make a New Deal.

[F]

He said, what's the deal?

[A]

And Congress voted on door number two.

[B]

Every Hooverville will have.

[A]

And then chicken flakes in every pot.

[F]

Oh, you got a whammy.

[A]

And then he had. He had a nude deal with Eleanor Roosevelt. Isn't that nice? If she. If she was nude, she had to say something so he wouldn't wheel in the room. And look at that.

[B]

His pica just become a pop tent.

[F]

His cousin feel like history.

[A]

Yeah, they were distant cousins.

[B]

Yeah, but not distant enough, huh?

[A]

In 1960. Josh, this is for you in 1960, what Alfred Hitchcock movie made its debut?

[B]

1960. That would be Pasyko.

[A]

It certainly is Pasyko.

[B]

Remember, you were not admitted once the movie started. You had to wait for the next showing.

[D]

That's right.

[C]

True. Yeah.

[A]

And a little trivia fact that we just learned last week on this show.

[E]

I remember it. The Hershey syrup one.

[A]

It wasn't Hershey syrup.

[E]

Oh, it was.

[F]

Oh, in the shower with Janet.

[A]

The shower.

[E]

It was chocolate syrup.

[A]

It was Bosco.

[E]

Bosco, yes.

[A]

Which. Which I think was kind of a regional.

[E]

I've never heard of Bosco about it,

[A]

but yeah, it was Bosco.

[D]

I haven't seen Psycho in a while. Is it as slow as Vertigo is? Because I went to Vertigo.

[B]

It's not as slow as Vertig, but man, it's so good.

[F]

But the remake is slow. The Anne Heche one. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, it's almost shot for shot, as we know, but it's feels like

[F]

it's longer, I guess.

[D]

Yeah, maybe.

[B]

Yeah. There are slower moments. But I'm reading a book right now called Marion and the whole conceit is that Marian survived. She actually did not. Was not. And then what she does afterwards.

[D]

Oh, not bad.

[A]

Oh, the lady in the shower.

[B]

Yeah. Marion Crane. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, that's interesting. I think it kind of gave cross dressers a bad name.

[B]

Well, there is. Honestly there. That was like a legit argument.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

These days.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

A lot of hate.

[A]

But Tony Perkins son is a famous movie director.

[B]

Osgood Perkins.

[A]

Yeah. That's Tony Perkins son of all.

[F]

And Janet Lee's.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

In 1978, the play Grease opened up up on.

[E]

Oh, your favorite.

[F]

I literally had a dream about this last night.

[B]

I was in it. That's right.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

I was kicky.

[D]

78. The Broadway playoff. Yeah.

[E]

And you never saw that on Broadway.

[A]

Wait a minute. I wonder if that. If they.

[B]

Did you guys see my performance?

[A]

I think they mean must have heard in the movie.

[E]

The movie? Yeah.

[A]

In 78. Sorry. Ah, yeah. Where a bunch of 30 year olds were still in high school.

[E]

Olivia Newton John and John Travolta are just cutest. Could be.

[F]

But that woman who played Chacha who was like, I'm the best. No, that. The other one.

[C]

I'm the best.

[F]

Dance at St. Bernardet.

[E]

That's.

[F]

She looked like she was way older than everybody else.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

She was supposed to be like 15.

[A]

Yeah. I think they were all going for their GED. Speaking of movies, 1980, the Blues Brothers premiered in Chicago.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

Finally, two white guys getting credit for inventing the Blues.

[D]

I don't know if they

[A]

ever see the, the sequel.

[B]

I did see Blues Brothers 2000. Yes.

[A]

And it was the guest artists on in that were all tremendous.

[B]

Yeah. Especially the last act that the music is phenomenal.

[A]

They have so many great stars in that. So you got to hand it to Ackroyd for bringing, bringing people around to find out about a lot of the originations of soul music in the and

[B]

the blues or origins.

[A]

Yeah. What did I say?

[B]

Originations.

[A]

Originations.

[B]

It was embarrassing.

[A]

No, it's, I think it's, that's, that's the original Latin based on the. The premise that speaking and thinking at the same time is difficult.

[D]

Maybe radio is not for you.

[A]

I have said that forever. I can't do both at the same time. Coming up, we have, we have interesting story from the world of real estate. We also have a geographical kid naming and a bizarre story about the latest thing that witches are doing.

[B]

Oh, what are they up to?

[F]

I want to know.

[A]

You'll be quite.

[F]

I've got my newsletter yet.

[A]

They're using Swiffers now to fly and they are swifter, of course.

[D]

It's like a jet.

[A]

These are the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[D]

More of the show is on the way. You can find us on X and at Bob and Tom or you can email us at Bob and Tom. Bob and Tom dot com. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee at the news desk.

[E]

Hi.

[D]

Hi. There's Pat Godwin.

[C]

Hi, Chick.

[D]

Hello. There's Josh Arnold. Hi there, ape. There's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick. Hello, Tom. We got a guest.

[A]

She's the lovely Kelly Collette, comedian. She's sitting right over there by the chickster looking, looking so nice today.

[F]

Hello, Mrs. Doubtfire impression.

[A]

Great to have you here.

[B]

Is that you, you

[F]

puppets?

[A]

Now we have Christy Lee over there. I mentioned witches in the news. This is a really odd story.

[E]

A self proclaimed cheese witch in Chicago claims to be able to predict the future in a block of cheese.

[B]

Is that right?

[E]

A block of cheddar to be exact.

[D]

Oh, of course.

[E]

Well, yeah, yeah, of course. You don't want a block of Havarti.

[D]

There was one predictory of it would be cheddar.

[B]

Sure.

[E]

Ms. Jen Billock told the New York Post that she began reading the rind

[B]

Jen J. Billock

[E]

during the pandemic by adopting her tarot card reading skills to cheese. Is it divination yeah.

[B]

Oh, yes.

[E]

Wow. She said I googled weird ways to tell fortunes with food and found cheese. And it was the start of this

[B]

little love affair that.

[E]

As for her process. Ms. Billock, or Billock, wouldn't you think

[D]

if you could do this through cheese, you. It would just come to you. You wouldn't.

[E]

Yeah. You wouldn't have to look at it.

[B]

Not all witches are.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

Are born.

[D]

Some are made. Self made witches. Okay.

[F]

All right.

[E]

Ms. Bilock explained I will focus solely on the cheese. And then things starts coming in.

[B]

You know, there was a woman. All right, give me a second.

[D]

Okay.

[F]

He's having a premonition.

[B]

She worked on the beach, of course. Yeah. And she would make toasted sandwiches. She would make toasted food with American and cheddar on the beach.

[D]

You understand, right?

[B]

She was a grilled cheese sandwich.

[A]

She was in the beach. See, I buy that. I like the premise. I like the work you did to get there.

[D]

Tom's buying.

[E]

And you did it so quickly.

[A]

I enjoyed the punchline. The delivery may be a little rocky.

[D]

Grilled.

[A]

Yeah, maybe I had been a little swifter, a little quicker than. But I like it. Bring that back next year when the story comes back around.

[E]

Ms. Bilock explained I will focus solely on the cheese. And then things start coming in. Whatever I'm hearing in my head is the message. It's always loud and it's always. Always knows what it's doing. Clients booking in person or online readings also get to select their own cheese. Ms. Billock said each person gets four pieces of cheese per reading.

[A]

Oh, my God. This is so stupid.

[B]

No, no.

[E]

Each person gets four pieces of cheese per reading. And the first three represent the past, the present and the future. I read. I read those like a three card tarot spread.

[B]

Oh, sorry. I just ate my future.

[E]

The fourth cheese, cheese is used to answer questions or resolve a problem.

[B]

I'd like to do this.

[E]

Would you do this?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

What kind of cheese would you take?

[B]

I'd go cheddar, of course.

[E]

Don't go stress. It'll be full of questions.

[D]

In your story, she said it was cheddar, but then she said you can pick your cheese.

[E]

Pick your cheese.

[B]

I know what's going on there. Maybe you can choose from mild or sharp or white.

[E]

Oh, I like a New York cheddar. Is that white cheddar?

[D]

Nope, that's a New York cheddar.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

Are you a Gouda witch or a battle? I. I don't know. I. I could do it to a degree when I. I could predict for example, I'll be heavily constipated if I eat too much cheese. This is so stupid.

[B]

How do you know?

[F]

How much do you think it costs?

[E]

That's a great question. It doesn't say a lot of cheddar things.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know.

[F]

A cheese witch does sound like a delicious sandwich. So she has a future in branding.

[A]

Didn't. We had a story a couple weeks ago about people were getting plastic surgery so they could have a larger lifeline. Lifeline in their hand.

[B]

Yeah. That is cheating.

[C]

That.

[D]

That doesn't.

[A]

That.

[F]

I used to read poems, but literally, I googled how to do it, so I kind of feel a kinship with this lady.

[B]

Wow.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you know?

[F]

I did.

[E]

Yeah.

[F]

You have a. You have a lifeline. You have a heart line. You have a. You have a faith line. Some people have.

[A]

Did you do this for money or.

[F]

I did do it for money.

[A]

What did you charge?

[F]

I was like a flat rate for corporates. It was like, I don't know, like 300 bucks, I think, for a whole evening.

[B]

This is a palm reading. Is there a name for it?

[F]

Palm reading?

[B]

Oh, it is. It's not like palmologist.

[F]

Yeah. It's not like phonetics or anything like

[B]

that because phrenology is a scar.

[F]

Phrenology is a scar.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you could grab Godwin's hand and tell us a little something about him.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, I guess you can't lie if

[C]

you see something bad.

[B]

I'll be nuts if you tell me super long. Can you tell from here?

[F]

That is long. So you're. You're. I can see that your headline and your heart line are almost parallel, which means you probably think very logically as well as emotionally at the same time, I. You do have a faith line, but it only goes through your heart line.

[B]

Interesting.

[F]

So you. You believe that there's something guiding you with, you know, emotional decisions, but when it comes to logic, you like to take your own advice.

[A]

Oh, that is. That's vague enough that it would apply to anyone.

[F]

Yeah, it's kind of like cold reading, too. There's a lot of that. Like, people will tell you what you know a lot more, and you can. I mean, I saw a psychic when I was in New York last year, and she's like, you're. You're dealing with a difficult problem. I was like, first off, you. You probably say that to everybody. Yeah. And then she said she could cure me for 500. She didn't have any cheese, though.

[B]

Well, then you saw the wrong person.

[D]

A scam isn't Bugs Bunny the one who. Hey, you want your palm red? And he got the red paint out and slapped it on the.

[C]

So good.

[D]

Just a wonderful moment.

[E]

I'm rarely right, but palmistry is what that's called.

[F]

Oh, yeah, Palmistry. Yeah. I just use the street version.

[A]

And then if you have really smooth hands, it's Palmolive street.

[B]

Yes, yes.

[D]

Your dated brand.

[E]

No, you should have been in here during the break when he was trying to explain Johnny Mathis to our guest.

[D]

You know what? We're all used to you being this way. You have to show other people, you know, because that looks bad for us.

[A]

We were discussing. We are friends with a comedian who I think is really funny named Brad Upton.

[B]

Yeah, he's good.

[A]

Brad is a really nice man. And when he. He happened to have spent a chunk of his career opening for Johnny Mathis. And Johnny Mathis is. They used to call him. What an mor. Middle of the road singer.

[B]

I think he's got a great voice.

[A]

Yeah. And I think. I think Johnny Mathis may be damn near 90.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

He's.

[D]

He's in his 90s.

[A]

Is he really? Yeah.

[E]

And he's still performing, isn't he?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And I have an incredibly cool obscure trivia fact about Johnny Math.

[E]

Oh, Lord.

[D]

Can we.

[B]

All right, I'm writing down incredibly cool and then we're going to see exactly.

[D]

Fact.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Johnny Mathis. Oh, I know what it is. Was a track star Brad Upton.

[D]

Yeah, he was.

[A]

He was a track star when he was in high school in the 50s, I want to say, in greater San Francisco.

[D]

Uhhuh.

[A]

And I. I believe he had the California state high jump record and it's an astonishing height considering he was not doing the Fosberry flop.

[D]

That's got. That's got everything we hate all in one story.

[B]

I loathed the last 18 words fell out of his mouth.

[E]

Is any of that interesting to you?

[C]

Be honest.

[B]

You will be invited back if you.

[E]

Do you know what the Fosberry flop is?

[F]

No. Is it a dance?

[E]

See?

[A]

No. See, is it like the Blitz Creek Bop? The great.

[B]

Not nearly as good.

[A]

The great Dick Fosberry Grab a futonberries. Dick Fosberry invented Fosberries.

[B]

Taste like the way that.

[A]

The way that contemporary hijack. Every contemporary high jumper jumps the Fosberg. I can't.

[D]

You're making Josh vomit.

[B]

I'm sorry.

[A]

I'm dealing with morons. Every once in a while in the world, some one person will come up with something that revolutionizes a sport.

[B]

It ain't you.

[A]

Dick Fosberry revolutionized the high jump.

[D]

Get him.

[A]

He famously beat the great Wilt Chamberlain.

[B]

You know, he famously beat you,

[A]

not you, in a war of wit. Now, where was I?

[C]

Do you know.

[A]

Do you know who Will Chamberlain was?

[F]

Speak slowly and carry a big stick.

[E]

Do you know who Wilt Chamberlain is?

[F]

Walt Disney. I don't know.

[B]

No, that was the other Chamberlain.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Wilt Chamberlain was, along with Bill Russell, two of the greats in the history of the NBA. Will Chamberlain is also. He was, like, 7ft tall and banged 30,000 women in the course of his life.

[F]

Oh, now it's getting interesting.

[A]

Yeah, and he. Johnny Mathis, the singer, actually, Chamberlain. Why am I talking to these people?

[B]

That's what we started with. Why are you telling us this?

[A]

Because she was asking me about Brad Upton, and I mentioned the Johnny Mathis

[B]

connection off the air. And now you've poisoned the airway. Kelly knows the difference between what should be discussed off the air and what should be on the air.

[E]

This is on me. I brought it up.

[D]

This can't be happening.

[F]

No, I learned something.

[A]

Kelly, Colette. Kelly, Colette. You said. You said that you were a palmist. Is that it?

[F]

I was. Yeah. I also ran track, too. That's how Brad Upton and I kind of connected as well. Yeah. So.

[A]

No, that. Josh is a. Josh is a rosy palmist.

[F]

Oh, hairy palmist.

[C]

All that way.

[D]

Can't stop jacking.

[B]

I wonder I'm even here.

[E]

That's.

[A]

That's my favorite.

[C]

You have to knock one out right now.

[A]

I love that song.

[D]

I love that song.

[A]

I can't stop jacking.

[D]

Can't stop jacking.

[A]

Well, time now to. Time now to come back to earth.

[C]

Shall we?

[A]

Anybody want to parachute down with me? I want to talk to you about getting some money out of that house of yours. If you're a homeowner, your house is probably worth a lot more than it was just a few years ago. This is a thing that's happening all over the country, and perhaps maybe your neighbor sold their house and you went. The Johnsons got how much for that place? Are you kidding me? Well, you don't have to sell your house to take advantage of the fact that it's worth more. This is where refinancing comes in. And the specialists in this, It's a company called American Financing, and they can, in about 10 minutes, tell you whether or not they can do a refi on you and hand you a check so that you can use that money to pay off some credit card debt or buy A new car, whatever it might be. It's your money in your house. Give them a ring and see if they can help you out. They have no upfront fees, no pressure. They have salaried mortgage consultants that may be able to help you out. It depends on your situation, obviously. Give American financing a call at 866. Once again, excuse me, 866-889-2611 or just go to American financing dot net. They got a thing going right now that you might be able to put off two mortgage payments. And they say that right now their average client is saving about 800 bucks a month.

[C]

Month.

[A]

Having done a refi. So see what I'm talking about? Once again, it obviously depends on your circumstance, your location, et cetera, et cetera. But in just a few minutes, they can tell you if this might work for you. Do me a favor. When you go to americanfinancing.net, do a slash, Bob and Tom, so they know that we sent you. Once again, it's americanfinancing.net NMLS 182334 nmlsconsumeraccess.org

[D]

APR for rates in the five start at 6.327%. For well qualified borrowers. Call 866-889-2611. For details about credit costs and terms,

[A]

visit american financing.net average savings based on

[D]

borrowers who save over $200. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Thank O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee.

[E]

Hi.

[D]

Hi. She's at the news desk. There's Pat Godwin.

[C]

Hello.

[D]

There's Josh Arnold.

[B]

You know, when I was a kid, I always thought this was a fancy, fancy car thing. And I thought, I've made it. If my car does this. Yeah, the. When you start the car, the antenna comes up, the antenna goes down.

[D]

There's Ace Cosmo.

[F]

Okay.

[D]

I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom.

[B]

That's how I measured one's status in life.

[A]

Oh, that's so funny. I. I had a car that I had to get three separate antennas for.

[B]

Was it one of those telescoping things?

[A]

Because I'd forget to put it down going in the car.

[D]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Every time.

[B]

So there was a button that you could control. It wasn't just, gotcha.

[A]

Yeah, those were cool. Those were the days.

[D]

One, if you put it down, you couldn't hear the radio.

[A]

Any cars have antennas anymore?

[E]

Mine. My Figaro does.

[B]

Well, that's.

[E]

And it has the button. It goes. You have to push it.

[A]

That's an antique car, though. How old is that thing?

[E]

30 years.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, do any contemporary vehicles still have that?

[E]

I don't think so. They're all built in.

[A]

Who thought of that?

[D]

I think the. The suv. The canyon era Arrow. I think it has.

[E]

Canyon arrow.

[D]

Yeah, it's eight wheels wide, you know.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

I think they have the telescoping antenna.

[A]

I saw a guy drive by the day he had a car with three wheels.

[B]

Was it one of those?

[A]

One in the. One in the back. One in the back. Two in the front.

[B]

What the hell's that thing?

[E]

One in the back.

[B]

We've given away a few of those.

[A]

It looks really cool.

[B]

Yeah, those are wild.

[A]

It was a convertible. It was awesome.

[F]

They always listen to their music so loud, like they want everybody to know that they're coming.

[B]

Coming in those weird cars?

[F]

Yeah, in the weird car. They're like, hey, look at me. You know you can hear me. You can see.

[A]

I thought it was because it's so noisy when you drive, you got to have the music cranked up.

[E]

Well, there's that.

[A]

I see our guest, Kelly Colette. We've been enlightening her. A former. A former track star. And she expressed interest in the great singer Johnny Mathis.

[B]

Not really.

[C]

She didn't bring it up.

[F]

And I said, judge Joe Mathis.

[C]

Johnny Mathis, chances are you're going to jail.

[D]

Thank you, Joe. The hanging judge is what they call him.

[E]

It's like. It's like your dad tried to explain something to you.

[F]

He's telling me about his best friends growing up.

[D]

I got to do something. Dear Bob and Tom show. I'd like to let Chick know that stock car football is alive and well in northwest Pennsylvania. Demolition derbies huge around here as well. Trust me, it's a lifestyle filled with sleeveless shirts and bush light.

[B]

Oh, dude, that's right.

[A]

My alley.

[D]

This is Bill. Bill the bread man.

[E]

All right.

[B]

I also like Bill the bread man.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

And has he heard of the cheese witch relationship?

[D]

That's right.

[B]

They're like the key master and the. The gatekeeper. We can't get those.

[D]

DearBot Tom show, this is Dustin from Quincy, Illinois. Can we please bring back the discussion of Tom banging old from his mother's bridge? This happened when he was a young boy to the tomb of Johnny Mathis, his big.

[A]

Here we go.

[D]

Chances are.

[A]

Oh, this is the Live version. Johnny walks out on stage.

[F]

Chances are ever heard this is skyline Chili parody song.

[B]

What did they do with it?

[F]

Feeling good and ready. It's skyline time. Is it not the same thing?

[B]

Some. Most. A lot of regions don't even have have that.

[F]

I know. I've heard this song as a parody before.

[B]

Gotcha.

[A]

Yeah, Johnny has that kind of tremolo chances.

[D]

We gotta listen to the real bridge club.

[F]

I kind of do want to go into that.

[A]

Oh, I made it up. My mother was in a bridge club.

[D]

I did not make that up. Only entirely.

[A]

What are you talking about? Chick thinks that I was hovering under the table to check out Mrs. A's Bush.

[B]

Well, you got a name. I mean, the fact that you have a name tells us there was some trouble.

[E]

You said you were climbing under the table while your mother was having bridge club. You told us that maybe the one

[F]

make it up for loose change or whatever.

[D]

Hey, I'm good, but I'm not that good.

[A]

Come on. Enough about Johnny Mathis. We can move on.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, let's stop talking about Johnny Mathis.

[C]

How does that.

[B]

That's enough, everybody.

[F]

Welcome to the Johnny Mathis.

[D]

Just hold up.

[A]

I want to find out about Ms. Collette here. You got a boyfriend? You live with him or does he have his own place?

[F]

He's got a place, but I'm trying to fix mine up.

[A]

Do you have a house or an apartment?

[F]

I have a house. Yeah. And I'm in my, like, era of, like, I do gardening. I want a she shed now.

[B]

Nice.

[F]

But, like, I wasn't handy before. Like, a couple years ago, I tried to spruce everything up. I was really into wallpaper, and I tried to put it up on my own, but you guys, it's so much harder than you think. Inexpensive, okay? Because you got to buy the wallpaper, you got to buy the glue. But the most expensive thing they never even tell you is the divorce. Do you guys know that it's gonna cost you a lot of money because it turns out you like things lined up and he wants to see other people. You know,

[B]

classic wallpaper conundrum.

[F]

Classic TLC show situation.

[B]

Has wallpaper made a comeback?

[F]

It has.

[E]

Yes, it has. Yeah.

[F]

It's very possible.

[B]

Do you have wallpaper in your house?

[D]

Because yours is.

[B]

Your house is newer.

[A]

Yeah, a tiny little bit.

[B]

Sort of an accent in.

[A]

In the bathroom in Hart's room.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

A little bit big and like, she wants to move already.

[F]

My guess.

[E]

What do you mean she wants to move? Move houses?

[A]

No, she wants to change rooms.

[B]

Oh, that was so exciting when you were a kid, man. If you ever had the chance to

[F]

move room new me.

[A]

Yeah, that's not gonna.

[E]

We never had that opportunity. Wow. You have enough rooms that she can move around room.

[A]

Yeah, dude.

[E]

It did.

[F]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Well, you guys have said you've never been to each other's houses. Very fun.

[D]

And I'm not looking forward to anytime soon, I can tell you that. And it's just getting worse.

[A]

In fact, I've got to. I'm going to buy another. What are those things called? Those sprayer gizmos. Power washer.

[F]

Power washer.

[D]

Nope. Sprayer gizmo.

[A]

I got to get.

[D]

I want to be with you when you go into the big box. Hardware. I need a sprayer.

[A]

I bought one ready and it was no good, so I got rid of it. I'm going to buy a new one.

[B]

You're welcome to come do my driveway.

[A]

Okay. I'm.

[E]

Andy did all our walks, so I.

[A]

I borrowed one and did my driveway last week and it was just glorious.

[B]

Yeah. Come over.

[A]

Have you used a power washer?

[F]

I just bought one.

[A]

They're great.

[F]

Yeah, I got some paint off my house, so that's not good. Turns out you can't just spray anything.

[A]

Yeah, don't fall for that thing that they're always advertising on Instagram where the guy goes, these are going to be illegal. Suits the federal government. And you put it on your hose.

[D]

What do you got?

[F]

Silencer. What is it?

[E]

What the hell are you talking about?

[B]

I have seen that at.

[A]

It's a sprayer. And this. It's a total scam. I bought one. And when you get. Doesn't even have the link for your hose. I was so pissed you had to

[F]

send 900 to an African prince.

[D]

What did that cost you, honey? What did it cost?

[E]

Now we're all gonna get that ad. You know that.

[A]

No, it's. It's a total scam.

[B]

Was it one of those things that when you ordered it. I've done this too many times. All of a sudden you get an email saying your order has shipped from Paraguay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What the hell?

[D]

And it's like DHL is bringing it for some reason.

[A]

It's a total scam. And they. They German engineering. And then you. It's because they can't. You can't increase the water pressure. But it. But when you get it, it doesn't fit on a hose. You know, I thought then you have to go back and buy a couple.

[D]

Why can't you increase the water pressure? Talk to me.

[A]

Well, you can turn it into a mist. But if. Unless you have a power washer that has your engine.

[D]

But what if your house has low water pressure?

[A]

Well, that's. You talk to the water company.

[D]

Well, no, they won't do it. That's why I haven't paid my bill.

[B]

Show them. You show them.

[E]

Well, your water pressure will definitely change. Then. It has.

[A]

Have you ever used a genuinely good quality power washer?

[D]

Yes, I have it.

[A]

It is as satisfying.

[D]

I cut a banister in half.

[A]

You can cut your toe right off.

[D]

It's awesome power washer. And.

[F]

Well, how do these not have like instruction manual? I mean, I'm sure they do. How do they not have like childproof locks on? How am I allowed to have one? That's what I want to know.

[B]

I often think about that.

[F]

Who sold me this things that I

[B]

use that I'm like, no one should have ever let me get this.

[F]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Yeah. And yet we live in a culture in which if you buy a latch ladder, it has a legal disclaimer that goes down the entire side of the ladder.

[E]

There should be an age limit on ladders. You can't buy a ladder after the age of 45 or something.

[C]

That's a good cut off.

[E]

Yeah. Because they're scary.

[C]

Very dangerous.

[E]

Yes.

[F]

Escalator have it go up for you.

[A]

Now we have.

[E]

Speaking of homes.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[E]

A woman Sherlock Holmes. No, hold on. That was the wrong story. An Arkansas real estate was shocked to find a vacant home overrun by snakes.

[C]

Whoa.

[E]

Century 21 realtor Christopher White shared video onto social media of the home's exterior with snakes slithering about on the stoop through an electrical panel. And in between pipes feed your inner herpetologist along with a few reptiles. In the eaves post was captioned quote had to tell my buyer that I was absolutely not going to show this house.

[B]

These will all be out of here

[D]

by the time according to local coat of paint. You'll be

[E]

according to the local media outlet. KR K A R. Kark.

[D]

No, Noah is the general manager.

[E]

Snakes are non venomous black rat snakes which feed primarily on pests. Yeah, no, they're good to have like rats and mice. But that means the house is infested with rats.

[A]

No, no, no, it means it's not. Yeah, that's. That's the good news. They're.

[B]

They're not venomous.

[A]

No rats inside. That would be terrible. Terrifying.

[B]

Black rat snake's not gonna hurt you.

[A]

So there are probably little baby ones all over the house.

[E]

Oh, they're not. No.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

It doesn't mean that.

[A]

Sure it does.

[E]

No, it doesn't.

[A]

If there's lots of snakes, it means there's baby ones somewhere.

[B]

Oh, they're cute. They're like puppies.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

No, thank you.

[D]

Now, this is where their eyes.

[F]

I want to get St. Patrick's Day started.

[A]

Now, Kelly, you. You are not a mob. Is that correct?

[F]

No, no, not a mom.

[A]

Now, let me just ask. I want. You can answer these questions. If you don't, you have to leave. Do you have, like, a wish list of names should you become a mom?

[F]

Of course. And you say them and you reserve them, and you tell all your friends that you call dibs.

[A]

That's just a thing. Would you mind sharing a couple? If you were to have a little girl tomorrow, what would her name be?

[F]

Right now, the top name is Image. Imogen.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[F]

Because there was a children's book I loved when I was a kid. Imogen's Antlers. Very cute.

[A]

Imogene.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Imogene isn't always.

[B]

So would you go Imogene Coca, or would you go Imogen Poots?

[F]

I think Imogen Poots. What I like. Yeah, but, like, you could say it either way. I like that.

[E]

Is it spelled the same way?

[B]

No, I don't think so. Maybe some are.

[F]

Yeah. I like Elodie, which is, like, melody with an E. Elodie. Elodie.

[D]

Elodie. That doesn't sound like a. It's finished.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

You drop.

[D]

You're gonna.

[A]

You're gonna have to find a guy that really loves you.

[B]

Money in the Walt Disney World gift.

[F]

Child Services is like. We're gonna have to talk to you.

[D]

Two things. You asked her this question.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

And then what do we know if they're willing to share their name? You gotta go, yes, that's a great name. Regardless if it's Elodie or not. Okay.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

Come on.

[B]

Would you be cool with L or El for short?

[F]

Yeah. I think that's cute. I like Ellie better than Elle because whenever the last name is, I always think of the.

[B]

Oh, sure.

[F]

Like, if someone's like, oh, this is L. Arnold.

[B]

Right.

[F]

Like, it's the Arnold.

[A]

I see.

[F]

Here comes the Arnold.

[A]

Like our former president lbj.

[F]

Exactly. Well, yeah. I think girls typically think of girls names, and then guys.

[A]

Do you have boy stamps? You know, pick out.

[F]

He's. He's going to have to be a. He's going to have to transition.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I have a girl name question.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

My niece is named Savannah.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

If I wanted to name my daughter Samantha Is that too close?

[E]

No, no, that's not cute.

[C]

You're good. I say no, no, because I've always

[B]

liked girls named Sam. I think is really cute.

[E]

Yeah, no, that's fine.

[F]

Just don't name her Hannah.

[E]

Do they call Savannah Sam, Sav?

[B]

I call her Sav. Yeah.

[E]

My bonus son's girlfriend's name is Savannah. We call her Sav.

[A]

Now, we have an interesting story about naming a family here.

[E]

Yeah. A woman named her six children after states. Xavier Green Davis told the Today show that she wanted her kids to see themselves as something larger than their surface.

[D]

She get on the Today show and

[E]

gave them the names. Nevada, Montana, Indiana, Arizona, Missouri and Dakota. During periods when she was in and out of jail. She wanted the names to serve as a bond between the siblings and to remind them that they could build a different future for themselves.

[B]

Huh.

[D]

The center stage. It's Indiana.

[B]

Four of those I think are kind of nice.

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

Which four?

[A]

Missouri.

[F]

Not Missouri. It sounds like misery.

[A]

Exactly. That's not a good one.

[E]

Dakota obviously is used, so that's one. Sure.

[B]

I think Montana's nice.

[F]

Indiana's cool.

[E]

Arizona's not bad.

[B]

And. And Dakota, that'd be hard to raise.

[C]

Arizona, though.

[E]

Now she's 49, Ms. Davis, and living in North Carolina. She stands by her decision as all six graduates.

[B]

I stand by my choice.

[E]

Graduated from high school and each has pursued higher education or career path of their own. Her 26 year old daughter Montana told Today the Today show.

[D]

Please, someone help me.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

Not only did her mother's plan work, but she also plans on doing something similar with her own children someday. She said if not states, maybe cities.

[B]

Okay.

[F]

So she was in jail and she's like, these are the states I'm not allowed to travel to, so I'll visit them through my children's names.

[A]

And apparently all the dads left these United States ditching the lady. Oh, sorry. Well, now, once again, famous people whose first name is a state.

[B]

First name? Yeah.

[D]

Dak Prescott. A cowboy.

[E]

Oh, is he a Dakota?

[A]

Oh, is he? Oh, okay. There you go. That's a good one. Georgia o'. Keefe.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

There have to be a couple.

[F]

Virginia Wolf.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Georgia o'. Keefe. Everything's vagina.

[A]

Washington Irving.

[B]

Right.

[D]

Would count.

[F]

Would Carolina count as a name? Well, north or South.

[B]

Yeah, Carolina, but I can't think of a Carolina. Can you?

[F]

Carolina Herrera.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Who's that?

[E]

She's a fashion designer.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[F]

That's good. What about that famous Vermont McCheese? I don't know.

[B]

Right, right. Vermont McCheese. Was canceled.

[D]

And so we don't want to talk about Vermont. McCheese is Mayor McCheese first name. Right? Right. Yeah.

[A]

Everybody from the great state, Christy Lee,

[B]

Mayor McCheese was as corrupt as anybody.

[D]

Oh, that guy. Fingers wiggling behind his back all the time. How about a little something for the effort, he'd say.

[A]

Coming up, we have the connection scientists have discovered between laxatives and your memory. Kind of interesting.

[D]

Where did I put my laxative?

[A]

Now we'll find out if there is a connection. But right now, Kristi Lee, what's going on over there?

[E]

Well, all eyes are watching the stars at the FIFA World cup, as we know. And Hyundai has its eyes now on the next generation of talent. The future stars already turning heads at just the ripe old age of 14. Because next doesn't wait for an invitation. Neither does Hyundai. Hyundai's always moved the future within reach. They did it when they made advanced safety standard on every vehicle and they engineered their EVs with ultra fast charging capabilities. And they're still doing it every day because the future isn't some far off concept. It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA.

[A]

Thank you very much, Christy. Once again, laxatives and their connection to memory. This could be an important development.

[B]

Did you guys. My dad used to say, smooth move.

[A]

Excellent.

[D]

That's a classic.

[E]

That is a classic.

[A]

How about that?

[D]

Way to go.

[E]

Excellent. Bring it back.

[A]

Well, we'll find out why that's important when we return to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Got a comment to share?

[D]

Text us at 888-262-8661. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee at the news desk.

[E]

Hi.

[D]

There's Pat. Guys Godwin.

[C]

Hey, Chick.

[D]

Hello, Pat. There's Josh Arnold.

[C]

Hello.

[D]

There's Ace Cosby.

[F]

Hello.

[D]

I'm Chick McGee and Tom. We have a. I have a special guest in the studio.

[A]

Comedian Kelly Colette has joined us here in the studios.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

By the way, we were talking about that scam thing that goes on the end of your hose that doesn't have a coupler.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

You got burned, didn't you?

[A]

And as soon as what I say and the brake started, it popped on my computer.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

So don't fall for that one.

[B]

It's just a coincidence.

[D]

I wonder what word it went off of because you didn't say what the product was called. You just Said scam.

[F]

Oh, just. You rang? I'm back.

[D]

You know Tom. Guest comedian appearances on the Bob and Tom Show. Like Kelly. How about that? Sponsored by Lee's famous recipe chicken. Famous for a reason.

[A]

Speaking of famous, I'm trying to remember there was some weird viral video with you. Weren't you mugged or something?

[F]

Yeah. So the beginning of the month, I was assaulted by a guy who rode past me on an E bike and smacked me.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[F]

Was a. I. My immediate reaction was to take off my shoes and start chasing him.

[B]

Nice.

[F]

And called the cops. He ended up. He got arrested. He has nine counts of this now.

[A]

So he.

[E]

So he was like a serial slapper.

[D]

Hang on a second, hang on. What did you do to get exactly

[F]

what was I wearing?

[E]

I know.

[A]

Oh, so he slapped you in the butt.

[F]

He slapped me on the butt, but it was from behind, so I, you know, could have been a minor. Don't toot my own horn, you know, still got it like that, you know, he don't know. But yeah, he. I chased him and it was all a. Caught on camera. So I. I'm so petty. As soon as he hit me, I was like, I'm going to catch this guy whether it was on foot or on the Internet. So I went to the Internet, I posted the video, and they caught him with a couple hours. But, yeah, he's. He's done it to a lot of women and he. He keeps getting out and so now I've talked to the prosecutor. I'm being a real big loudmouth about it.

[B]

Really?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So he's working.

[B]

You know, you've never been able to take a compliment.

[A]

They did arrest him, though.

[F]

Yeah, they did. And then they let him out the next day and he's doing it again. But it went all the way to Australia. Like, the Daily Mail was going to pick it up. Like, I got Access Hollywood called me

[A]

and I was like, who made the video?

[F]

The video was a security camera on a building. I was walking by.

[D]

Wow.

[F]

And I was able to walk in and get it. And then the cops were like, hey, can we get a copy of that? And I'm like, do I work for the police now? Like, I'm the detective.

[B]

Yeah, you probably can get a copy of that.

[E]

Yeah, yeah, just ask. Like, I did. Yeah, exactly.

[F]

I had to do all the work. So, yeah, that's went super viral. And I got a lot of weird comments. A lot of women were like, you go, girl. Like, this sucks. I love how you took off your shoes and chased after him. And a lot of really bad comments, too.

[A]

That's awesome.

[E]

I was with you, girl. I loved that video. I was like, you go, girl.

[A]

Yeah, I haven't seen it, so we'll have to repost on our Instagram. Yeah, okay. It's on.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Very good. We're talking with comedian Kelly Colette now. We were talking about the fact that you own a home.

[F]

Yes.

[A]

And you have been doing some redecorating.

[F]

Yeah.

[B]

Are you.

[A]

I have some friends that, for example, when you go to their house, you have to take your shoes off.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Which I don't. I don't do that.

[F]

You know, not a shoe. It was always weird when you would go to your friend's house and they would have different roles or they would say fancy things, things, you know, I remember when I was a kid, I was spending the night at my friend's house, and her mom yelled up the stairs. She's like, when Kelly takes a shower, give her the good towels. Don't give her the bad towels. Give her the good towels. And I was like, the privilege. Like, you guys have so many towels. You can categorize them into good towels and bad towels. Like, you know what a bad towel in my house was? Jeans. Okay. You ever just have to dry yourself off with the clothes that you wore walking into the shower? So I'm pretty sure she was like, don't give her the ones that are under your brother's bed. Like, I'm pretty sure I know what

[A]

a bad cow is. That's probably a bad scratchy.

[F]

Exactly.

[E]

Worse when you get in the shower and you forgot to put the towel on the. On the hook, and you're like, ah, you got to walk across your bathroom to get a towel. I hate that.

[A]

Now, do you. At your current home. Home, do you have. In my trailer, in the, like, the parlor bathroom, if you will. Like, like, girls towels. You know what I'm talking about?

[D]

It is getting more difficult for him to speak with us, let alone the

[B]

towels that are not meant to be used.

[E]

I mean, guest towels. Yeah.

[A]

Do you have.

[F]

Yeah, I got fancy towels. You ain't allowed to touch them. Those are for loser towels, for looking. You know what I mean?

[A]

So if. If I were to go in your bathroom and wash my hands, is there an. A real towel to actually.

[F]

Yeah, yeah, you can have one.

[A]

Are they Marsh.

[B]

It's like, he can't fathom that you're an adult.

[F]

Yeah, well, I'm a comedian. You probably have to wash your hands with a coffee filter. You know, like, whatever. I had Lying around.

[E]

Do you provide the paper towel like the disposable guest towels?

[A]

Oh, that's nice.

[E]

That's what I have in my guest bathroom.

[B]

Those are nice.

[D]

Yeah, because that would say paper towels.

[E]

They're paper towels. You know, they've got designs or something on them and they're nice and you can throw them away.

[F]

I come. I come over to my guests with a hot glass towel, like on a flight right after they take a poo.

[A]

So I love hot.

[F]

I like to be waiting right outside.

[A]

I would love to have one of those hot towel machines.

[E]

You can get one.

[D]

Josh gave me one.

[A]

I don't. I don't have a spot for it, but I mean I. I'd like it back.

[D]

Have you ever. Hang on. Have you ever been more insulted in your life? Josh, did you hear what he just did? I'm going to have to get one of those. I,

[A]

I don't have a spot for

[C]

it, but I'm getting.

[D]

There's.

[A]

I hate this computer monitor on that. It's universally true. But I think women have a way of buying these towels for the. The, The. The non. You know what I'm saying? The bathroom your guest can go that are totally non absorbent. They have the absorbency of aluminum foil. But they, but they look pretty.

[F]

They're so pretty. I have one in my. My guest bathroom. It says you're allowed to go through phases and it's the phases of moon on it. It's very witchy. But it's like probably. It's probably the only thing you can read in my bathroom because I don't have reading material. So every guy that goes in there is probably like, huh, Just reading the towel over and over again like it's an affirmation.

[A]

You should do a tour of your house.

[D]

Didn't you have the Gettysburg Address over your toilet?

[A]

No.

[D]

Did I dream that? I'm pretty sure you used to to

[A]

the only thing in my bathroom over my.

[D]

Over in the Stalin's address on Mayday.

[A]

Master suite. Whatever. Whatever. Mass lyrics the Primary whatever the hell they're calling it now. I have a urinal in the bathroom and above that is a picture of my builder Mark as a joke. We leave there because it's funny. That's the only artwork in the bathroom,

[C]

as evidenced by the building.

[D]

Did you hear the raucous Ace?

[A]

You've used my house. And is there not a picture of Mark there?

[F]

Did you also pee on it? What is that? You're supposed to be like an aiming thing.

[A]

No, no, it's not it's not in the urinal itself, it's above it. So you look at him.

[B]

Oh, that would be funny.

[F]

Oh, full eye contact while you're peeing.

[A]

Yeah. Do you have artwork in your actual toilet room?

[F]

Of course. You have to have toilet. Funny toilet.

[A]

I mean. I mean the.

[D]

The room aliens, but back. What do you call your toilet room?

[A]

No, the room where the toilet is.

[D]

You mean the bathroom?

[A]

Well, no, I've got a separate room where the toilet is and then there's the bathroom.

[F]

Well, the ouse has a couple paint.

[D]

Well, in that case, I think it might be the water closet.

[E]

Water closet, yes.

[F]

Do have powder room written on the outside of it.

[B]

Oh, that's nice.

[F]

So it feels like people either want to go do coke in it or they know it. I'm fancy. Yeah.

[A]

Do you have a walk in closet? You okay?

[F]

I can walk into any closet I want. Listen, you can't tell me which closet to walk in, all right? I'm a small girl. I can fit anywhere. I do sort of.

[A]

Do you have artwork in there?

[F]

I have artwork in probably every nook of my house.

[D]

Oh, nice.

[F]

Yeah, I like all the walls kind of covered with inspiration.

[A]

Although, like little phrases.

[F]

No, I don't have any. I actually only have one artwork with words and it's the man in the arena. Roosevelt's famous speech. The man in the arena. It's a very comedian thing and I read it to comics before contests which Roosevelt, Franklin.

[A]

Teddy. Eleanor.

[F]

I think it's Teddy.

[B]

It is Teddy.

[A]

What does he say?

[F]

He says it is not the critic that matters. It is the man in the arena. The one whose brow is heavy with sweat. Who's trying. I'm paraphrasing.

[B]

It's essentially, if you're creating, critics can't. Yeah, they're not doing.

[F]

Because they can't do. They can't do what you do. You're the brave one. And anybody that criticizes you, they're just. They're not brave enough to do what you do.

[E]

They're jealous.

[F]

Yeah. They're just jealous of you.

[D]

Kelly.

[F]

This is my mom. Don't listen to them, Ms. Collette.

[A]

On the road stops will include Omaha, Iowa. It'll be Des Moines and Dr. Grins in Grand Rapids. All coming up now. We're going to say. Thanks for joining us.

[F]

Thank you so much. Indianapolis on Thursday. See you there, guys.

[A]

These are the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[D]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe. This is the Bob and Tom show. Full send Golf. You guys know how much I really, really love Golf. Full send Golf 2v2.

[A]

Me and VOD versus Big John and Kyle. Oh, it feels good to be back on the links with the boys. Join the party on the golf course. Back to golf in a big way.

[D]

Now what?

[F]

Practice.

[A]

Let's go hit the range.

[B]

I was like, let's go to the range.

[D]

We are headed to the golf cart, y'.

[B]

All.

[C]

You want to go for this?

[F]

No.

[E]

You don't play golf?

[C]

No. Try.

[A]

We gotta break par.

[D]

I'm very, very excited.

[F]

You excited?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Full send Golf.

[A]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform.