The BOB & TOM Show - June 2, 2026

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show – June 2, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of The BOB & TOM Show continues the show's signature blend of comedy, topical discussions, sports updates, listener interactions, and playful banter among the hosts. June 2nd’s program features the return of “Dr. Buckets” (Ryan Martin), a world-record-setting basketball shooter, commentary on recent major sports trades, quirky world records, cultural trends, light raunch, and ongoing conversations around listener letters. Notably, scheduled guest comedian Bill Engvall is rescheduled due to technical issues, and there are memorable detours into everything from toothpaste techniques to therapy donkeys.

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Main Segments and Key Discussions

1. "Hello Dare" Parody and Musical Comedy (00:22 – 02:23)

• The show opens with a musical parody sketch, "The Best of Hello Dare," spoofing popular songs with the catchphrase "Hello Dare" and featuring imagined duets with iconic artists like Pink Floyd, Willie Nelson, and a cameo from Michigan J. Frog.
  • [00:54] A: “Hello, Dare. You too.”
  • [02:19] C (as Michigan J. Frog): “Hello, my baby, hello my honey, hello there.”

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2. Sports Roundup & Dr. Buckets World Record Anticipation (03:16 – 05:15, 29:02–31:10)

• Discussion on Dr. Buckets, a basketball coach from Maine, who attempts to break the world record for NBA three-pointers made in 24 hours.
• The show teases his upcoming appearance and recaps his prior half-court shot records (272 made in one hour at 33% success rate).
• Major NFL trades: Myles Garrett to the Rams, AJ Brown to the Patriots; Stanley Cup and NBA Finals preview.
  • [03:23] B: "Dr. Buckets is the guy... who went out to set the world record for most three-pointers—NBA level—in 24 hours."
  • [05:21] A: "...Blockbuster trades yesterday in the NFL. Myles Garrett finally gets out of Cleveland, baby!"

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3. Personal Stories & Comedy Interludes (06:02–08:22, 10:00+)

• Tom recounts misadventures at home, attributing a flooded laundry room to his dog turning on a faucet.
• Lighthearted speculation about "guy code" and the “mystery of what men do when out late.”
• Banter about survey averages for sexual partners and “acceptable” numbers to share.
  • [08:15] A: “I've always heard the rule's five. You say five?”
  • [08:23] B: "That is not the answer that they came up with."

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4. Pop Culture, Listener Letters & Oddball News (12:19–28:37, 33:58–49:01)

• Extended musings on musical trivia, famous moments in rock (like The Who's Keith Moon passing out and a fan finishing the set), and the reality of appliance brands in hotels.
• Listener mail on controversial topics: toothpaste technique (squeezing directly into mouth), wild grooming habits, and the utility of “Super Balls” in baseball training.
  • [17:25] D: “Tom, your argument for doing this insane step—putting toothpaste directly in your mouth—no, it does not!”
  • [24:39] B (reading): "...It tastes like how Band-Aids smell mixed with gasoline and burning car oil." –Emily on the Chicago Malort tradition

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5. World Records & Viral Oddities (58:26–66:51)

• Two records get center stage:
  • Marilyn Monroe Lookalike Gathering: Over 1,037 people in Palm Springs dress as Marilyn to celebrate her 100th birthday.
    • [58:59] B: “It’s mostly guys. What? … All you need is a white dress and a blonde wig.”
  • Takeout Order Memorization: “Big John” Fisher recites 40 takeaway menu items from memory in 30 seconds—a new Guinness World Record.
    • [61:15] A: “Is he after Dr. Buckets?”

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6. Featured Interview: Dr. Buckets—Ryan Martin (97:00–104:34)

• Ryan discusses breaking the world record for most NBA three-pointers in 24 hours: 11,115 makes.
• Describes mechanics: “Needed to make one every 7 seconds”; rotating teams of ball-feeders; swollen wrist post-event.
  • [97:44] A: “Most NBA threes made in 24 hours ... made 11,115.”
  • [98:59] B: “What, so you got the record?”
  • [99:06] C: “Well, we don’t know if he’s distinguished, we may have a losing record!”
• Listener letters and hosts jokingly debate if such skills translate to actual basketball games.
• Technical glitches lead to minor interruptions, but the hosts champion Ryan’s achievement and brainstorm endorsement opportunities (see: “Swiffer/Spliffer” jokes).
• Attributed quote, [98:59] B: “What, so you got the record?”

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7. Listener Interaction & Life Observations (e.g., Therapy Donkeys, Breakup Stories) (108:04–110:23, 136:44–140:12)

• News on the use of donkeys as “therapy animals” in a French hospital; expanded animal therapy with goats, chickens, rabbits.
  • [108:09] D: “I have a picture of me sitting on [a donkey], like two years old, sitting on his back. He was a sweet little donkey.”
• Tales of relationship breakups escalating into property destruction with an excavator.
  • [124:47] D: “She didn’t expect him to literally bring the house down… using a construction excavator.”

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8. Modern Trends & Lexicon Updates (127:01–133:01)

• Hosts explore new dating terms:
  • Ghost Lighting: Disappearing (ghosting) and then popping back in as if nothing happened – gaslighting the recipient into thinking it’s normal.
  • Wildflowering: Noncommittal dating, letting things “grow organically.”
  • [128:09] B: “Ghost lighting…you tell them nothing happened, what’s your problem?”
• Cambridge Dictionary entries for 2026: “Dusking” (enjoying sunsets as relaxation), “Cozy Cardio” (gentle, comfy exercise), “Hot span” (period in life one is both healthy and attractive).
  • [132:04] D: “Hot span. The number of years that you can expect to remain both healthy and physically attractive in your life.”

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9. Classic Banter: Haircuts, Therapy & Masculinity (141:15–147:14)

• Discussion on “hairapy”—barbershops doubling as informal therapy sessions.
• Hosts reflect on the unique trust people build with their hair stylists and why barbershops historically serve as informal community therapists.
  • [142:49] D: “It makes it harder to break up with your…hair stylist too, because you become such, you know, close friends.”

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10. Closing: Technical Glitches, Episode Recap, and Humor on Mona Lisa Conspiracies (149:15–157:27)

• Rescheduling Bill Engvall after technical issues.
• Recap of Dr. Buckets, sports news.
• Theorizing if the real Mona Lisa is ever on display; speculation about "fake" art in museums and jokes about fakes in governments and professional sports.
  • [155:01] C: “I have a conspiracy theory no one has seen the actual Mona Lisa in about 75 years.”
  • [158:00] A: “You think that’s the real spirit of St. Louis?”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Dr. Buckets’ achievement:
  • [98:00] B: “What, so you got the record?”
  • [98:52] C: “Were they cheering or staying silent?”
  • [98:59] B: “This is great. I just love stuff like this.”
• Comedy on toothpaste habits:
  • [17:25] D: “Tom, your argument for doing this insane step—putting toothpaste directly into your mouth—no, it does not!”
• Listener Email on Malört:
  • [24:39] B (reads Emily): “It tastes like how Band Aids smell mixed with gasoline and burning car oil.”
• On breaking up and excavators:
  • [124:47] D: “She didn’t expect him to literally bring the house down … using a construction excavator.”
• On therapy donkeys:
  • [108:09] D: “I have a picture of me sitting on… like two years old, sitting on his back. He’s a sweet little donkey.”
• Modern dating lexicon:
  • [127:14] D: “Ghost lighting… a portmanteau of ghosting and gaslighting.”
  • [128:41] C: “Are we boyfriend and girlfriend? We are wildflowering.”
• Art conspiracy:
  • [155:01] C: “I have a conspiracy theory…no one has seen the actual Mona Lisa in about 75 years.”
• On hotel Q-Tips:
  • [25:27] B: “Even the nicest hotels don't use name brand Q-tips… There must be some hotel procurement company that refuses to deal with the Q-tip brand people.”

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Engaging & Unique Segments

• Listener Mail: Many listeners wrote in on previously discussed topics, like toothpaste “direct to mouth” and toothpaste habits, Malört drinking rituals, and quirky license plates. [17:25-25:01]
• “Best of Hello Dare”: The show’s knack for musical parody is displayed through “Hello Dare,” spoofing genres and musical icons. [00:22–02:23]
• Cultural Commentary: The hosts riff on modern dating (“ghost lighting,” “wildflowering”), and propose tongue-in-cheek conspiracy theories about fake art in world museums. [129:07–133:43, 155:01–158:00]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:22–02:23: “Hello Dare” parody intro
• 03:16–05:15: Sports preview and Dr. Buckets introduction
• 08:15–08:23: Sexual partners survey quips
• 12:19–13:19: Who-Scott Halpin rock story, music history debate
• 17:25–25:01: Toothpaste method debate, listener email, Malört segment
• 33:58–49:01: Listener mail—childhood games, food quirks, baseball training, Salt habits
• 58:26–66:51: Marilyn Monroe lookalike record, Takeout memorization world record
• 97:00–104:34: Full Dr. Buckets (Ryan Martin) interview
• 108:04–110:23: Therapy donkeys & animal therapy news
• 124:47–126:44: Divorce property destruction story
• 127:01–133:01: Modern dating lexicon explanations: ghost lighting, wildflowering, hot span
• 142:49–147:14: Haircut “therapy” debate, masculinity in barbershops
• 155:01–157:27: Mona Lisa conspiracy, “fake” art speculation

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Conclusion

This episode exemplifies The BOB & TOM Show’s fast-paced blend of satire, topical news, zany observational comedy, and listener involvement. The highlights include an in-depth chat with world-record shooter Ryan “Dr. Buckets” Martin, lots of playful barbs among the hosts, explorations of contemporary culture (from therapy donkeys to ghost lighting), and the usual irrepressible energy. Listeners seeking both laughs and an engaging survey of American life—sport, music, sexuality, and pop culture oddities—will find much to enjoy in this installment.

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For further details, guest info, or to listen to the full episode, visit The BOB & TOM Show or subscribe via your preferred podcast platform.

Transcript

[A]

It's the bob and tom show.

[B]

We recently asked Bob and Tom show listeners, do you want more hello Dare or have you had enough? The answer was a unanimous no more hello Dare.

[C]

What? Hello, Dare. What?

[B]

Excuse me, I think you're reading that wrong. There's not a comma there. They said no more.

[A]

Shut up and mind your own business.

[B]

Get out of here. It's the best of hello Dare Volume two. With even more rock from legends like Pink Floyd.

[A]

Hello, Dare. You too.

[C]

Hello there.

[B]

We've even paired Marty Allen up with early rockers like Ricky Nelson.

[A]

Hello, Mary Lou.

[C]

Hello there.

[B]

The Big Bopper.

[C]

Hello, baby, hello there.

[B]

But the hello Dare craze isn't limited to just one music genre. This Willie Nelson country classic just got a whole lot more classier. Hello, Wall. Hello there. And this catchy Broadway hit is even catchier with this catchy catchphrase.

[A]

Hello, Dolly.

[C]

Hello there.

[B]

Wow. Now what would you pay? Well, it doesn't matter. It's not available in stores or anywhere else. But as an added bonus, we'll throw in this incredible duet with everyone's favorite amphibious crooner, Michigan J. Frog. Take it away, Michigan J. Frog, and go.

[A]

You little.

[B]

It's the best of hello There, Volume

[A]

two only, from Bob and Tom Records.

[B]

Hot dog.

[C]

Hello, my baby hello, my honey hello there.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

Well, well, Tom.

[C]

What?

[A]

We've always dreame of just me and you.

[B]

Oh, wait a second.

[A]

Hey, Chrisy, how are you?

[D]

I. I can leave.

[A]

Prove it. No, wait a minute. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. See? I said studs. Yeah, it's the Bob and Tom Show.

[D]

They're funny.

[A]

Christy Lee at the news desk. Hi, there's Josh Arnold.

[C]

Hello.

[A]

Hello. There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick McGee. Tom, I'm really looking forward to one of our guests this morning. Well, well, both of them, but especially that first one has. Has my curiosity peaked. Ah, yes.

[B]

Coming up, Dr. Buckets. That's right, will be our guest.

[A]

Went to bucket school to become a doctor.

[B]

Dr. Buckets is the guy that yesterday, or I guess beginning Sunday, went out to set the world record for the most three pointers. NBA level three pointers in 24 hours. We'll find out if he did it. All right, this is the guy we spoke to. He has the world record for the most half court shots.

[A]

He does? Yeah.

[B]

Oh, he's unbelievable. He did. I think he was shooting 33% from half court. Well, he's a basketball coach in the great state of Maine. Looking forward to talking to Dr.

[A]

Hot. A hotbed for hoops.

[B]

Hey, what's that? The fact that he's so good it doesn't matter where he's from.

[D]

Good point.

[B]

We will talk with Dr. Buckets. I'm looking forward to it. And I don't know if he got the record. I'm hoping he did.

[A]

You know, Stephen King played forward for his high school basketball team in Maine.

[B]

I. I doubt.

[A]

No, that's a lie.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Stephen King is one of the most famous residents of the great state of Maine. But.

[A]

Oh, yeah, they call him Ste.

[B]

Oh, that's fine.

[D]

Do you think he would call us if he didn't make the record?

[B]

We called him. Oh, so we called.

[A]

Wait a minute. We. We sought Dr. Buckets out.

[B]

We called his people.

[A]

Okay, Dr. Buckets has people? Yeah.

[B]

Are you kidding? He's got to have people feeding him

[A]

the ball or an automatic return under the hoop. Either way.

[B]

No, no. He's got a whole crew there.

[A]

Did he have T shirts and stuff? Dr. Baucus?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Doctor.

[B]

This is why he's calling.

[A]

We're gonna copyright.

[B]

Okay. But it's very exciting. We had a great chat with him a couple weeks ago when he. With respect to another record, but this is his latest. We'll look forward to that in the world of sports. Any other sports previews over there?

[D]

We also have another great guest, Bill Engvall. You don't want to talk about him.

[B]

Oh, just saw that. Bill Engvall will be joining us.

[A]

Here's your sign.

[B]

There's your sign. It's right there on that sign.

[A]

Blockbuster trades yesterday. The NFL. Miles Garrett finally gets out of Cleveland, baby. Go. He is Los Angeles Ram. And AJ Brown gets out of Philly. He's now a New England Patriot. Draft picks and such are involved. Stanley Cup Game 1, Vegas at Carolina tonight and a couple of world records. And a bedtime set for New York area children because the Knicks are in the finals. There you go.

[B]

Yeah. Well, the game is what? It's 8:30?

[A]

8:00 Eastern time.

[B]

Okay. It's not too late. Well, depending on your time zone, I guess.

[A]

Right. Too late for. Too late for me. I need my beauty.

[B]

Well, of course. Of course. Who doesn't?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I didn't get any. But now.

[D]

Okay, wait a minute. You didn't get any sleep last night?

[A]

I'm really curious as to what happened. You told me what happened. But I. I really need you to explain it to me. Like, I know this will be a stretch for you, but make believe I'm really stupid and I Can't understand.

[B]

I got home fairly late. Okay, nobody at the house.

[A]

Nobody at the house. All right.

[B]

I walk in and it looked. It appeared at first that one of the dogs had peed all over the rug in the hallway.

[A]

And I thought that, okay, seems like

[B]

a lot of urine. But I immediately took the dogs out that I came back and it turned out that there's a faucet on a low level in the laundry room that one of the dogs had turned on.

[D]

So how does your dog turn on a faucet?

[B]

It's.

[D]

You have a. You have a dog bath, don't you?

[B]

No, no, it's one of those faucets that. It's not a turn, it's a. It's a lever.

[A]

Yeah, sure.

[B]

And the way it. Somehow he got up there and hit it. And I hadn't noticed that it was running. So that was a one hour cleanup.

[A]

There's viral video of dogs turning on kitchen faucets. All sorts.

[B]

Well, yeah, that's.

[D]

Oh.

[B]

So. And in any event, I. I had a ordeal of getting the thing up and mopping and everything else, but I'm fine now.

[D]

Okay, so it took you all night?

[B]

No, I'd got. Already gotten home an hour and a half late and then it's very boring. But I'm sorry.

[A]

Were you out?

[B]

Lack of sleep.

[A]

Were you out partying? Is that what you were doing?

[B]

No, I can't explain what I was doing.

[A]

Oh, okay. Fair enough.

[D]

All right.

[A]

You know what?

[D]

I love the mystery time.

[A]

No, no. Guys don't ask what other guys are doing. They just say okay.

[D]

Oh, really?

[A]

That's right.

[D]

Is that a code thing?

[A]

Guy code? Yep.

[B]

Coming up. Speaking of the guy code, we have a survey about sexual partners. How many have you had? How many will you admit to having? And there's a little math equation involved here.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

In which how many of you subtract depending on who you're talking to, or add. So we'll be. We'll be getting to that. This.

[A]

I've always heard the rules. Five. You say five?

[D]

Yep.

[A]

The answer is five, no matter what the real answer is.

[B]

Is this for both? For both men and women?

[A]

I think so. Why not?

[B]

That is not the answer that they came up with.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

According to the survey, and I'm not going to quiz you on your particular numbers. Wouldn't be fair.

[A]

Oh, too many to count.

[B]

You know, there is one aspect of it, of the survey that I find really disturbing, and it involves your cell phone and information that one might be putting on a cell phone. Well, not Again, we'll get into that. Naughty pictures plus your letters. No, it doesn't involve photographs. It involves information that people are apparently putting on their cell phones, which I find rather disturbing. The latest in the therapy involves donkeys. We'll be getting to that.

[A]

I think everybody should be in therapy.

[D]

Me too.

[A]

That should be a federal law. One, one, one time a week. Everybody really is gonna pay for that. You got your be a government subsidy.

[B]

Okay, good.

[A]

You know, do everything else. Why not?

[B]

We have a Marilyn Monroe celebration I think you're gonna enjoy. And do you remember the famous story about the band the who? I think it was in San Francisco. Remember this? And their drum and Keith Moon passed out.

[C]

Nope.

[B]

Remember the story, Ace? And they. And. And Townsend goes, can anybody out there play the drums? And a kid from the audience came up and finished the set. Well, I'll dig up the story. It's kind of a famous story in the history of rock and roll. And a similar event happened at a different type of music recently.

[A]

I saw the story.

[B]

Yeah. Where a guy stepped up. I mean, can you imagine? You're at a concert and someone gets out, sorry, Mr. Clapton couldn't make us anybody play guitar. But the Keith Moon stories, I thought. I thought everybody had heard about that one. It was obviously many years ago, but we'll be exploring that right now. I want to explore your finances, if you don't mind. In today's uncertain economy, who knows what's going on out there? But the one oddity that's happening is the price of housing has skyrocketed, which also means if you already own your house, it may be worth a lot more than it was a few years ago. I did a little research. The average house is worth between 40 and 50% more than it was here in the United States about five years ago. That number, if you have owned a house for 10 years, it may have doubled in value, if not gone up even more. But you don't have to sell your house to take advantage of that. You can refinance it and grab some of that equity and use it for whatever you want. That might be paying off those high interest credit cards or putting in a new kitchen, maybe adding a garage, whatever it could be. You might want to talk to the folks at American Financing about grabbing some of that cash. By the way, they have no upfront fees at American Financing. No pressure salespeople. And if you start today, they have a special program that could even delay two mortgage payments. This all depends on your specific situation. It'll take them about 10 minutes to walk through your situation and they can tell you whether or not this might work for you. So give them a ring. Once again, the company is known as American Financing and you can call them up at 866-889-2611 or visit them@american financing.net do me a favor and do a slash. Bob and Tom. So you go to american financing.net Bob and Tom and they'll talk to you and see if this might work for you as a way to refinance your property and grab some cash to do with whatever you want. Once again, your house is probably worth a lot more than it was five years ago. So maybe one of your neighbors sold their house and you thought, my God, they sure got a lot of money for that thing. Get the details from american financing.net nmls182334 nmlsconsumeraccess.org APR for rates in the 5 started 6.327% for well qualified borrowers. Call 866-889-2611. For details about credit costs and terms, visit american financing.net bobandtom Average savings based on borrowers who save over $200.

[A]

We are not men. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee's at the news desk.

[D]

Hello again.

[A]

With the kerchief wrapped recklessly around her neck.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

Yes, there's Josh Arnold.

[D]

Yes, I'm an old lady and I'm hiding my neck is what people think when they that's what they send to me on social media.

[A]

Tom, you're my witness. How did that happen? I There's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick. Hello, Tom. You go ahead, you try. Give it a shot, Tom.

[D]

I don't care.

[B]

You mean people on social media that

[A]

have nothing to do negative attention? I don't know what. Go ahead.

[B]

Maybe they can get famous and afford a window for the basement of their

[A]

parents house they're living in.

[B]

I mentioned something a few minutes ago. We have a story coming up about a musical concert in which someone took ill and they had to bring someone from the audience. I mentioned the who story. None of you guys were familiar with it. This happened many years ago in November of 73.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Well, no, this is one of the most famous stories in rock.

[D]

I was in middle school.

[B]

I thought you would have done your brushed up brush up in your music history. They were at the famous Cow palace where our buddy Peter Frampton recorded part

[A]

of Frampton Member of San Francisco Society Mr. Peter Frampton. Yeah.

[B]

And Keith Moon passed out mid show. And Pete Townsend of the who said can anybody play the drums? And this guy named Scott Halpin, 19 years old. His friends kind of shoved him up to the front and he got up there and finished the show with Roger Daltrey and Pete Townsend.

[A]

You know, there are odds are that Scott Halpin's not alive anymore.

[D]

Yeah, probably

[B]

you're correct, sadly.

[A]

Oh, he just died.

[B]

Nobody. Oh, he's deceased.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Did he go on to music greatness?

[B]

He was a musician and artist. Oh. But it's kind of a famous story in the history of rock. And there's video of it and it's pretty funny. Townsend gets up, can anybody play the drum? We had another story like this last year. I forget what it was. Where someone had to from the audience came up and. And rescued a show. But we have another story coming up today about a similar thing. Not in the world of rock.

[D]

No.

[A]

Oh, you mean like in the world of stand up comedy or something? Anybody? Anybody here got 10 minutes and somebody comes up?

[B]

Well, there's this. Mike Birbiglia has a story about that.

[D]

What?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Bur Biggs has a story. Well, yeah, I'll brush up on it

[D]

before I. I had a dream last

[B]

night yet he had to stand up. He had to run up in the middle of somebody's set and still 10 minutes. And then the guy came.

[D]

Oh, I know what you're talking about.

[B]

You know who that was? Speaking of deceased people. Okay, that's why I don't.

[D]

I had a dream you, me, Chick, Josh and Andy Kindler were on a comedy tour together.

[A]

Kindler?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

That'd be a. That'd be a good, good hang.

[D]

It was pretty fun. It was funny.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I don't know why I was dreaming about Andy Kindler, but I can tell you why. Why?

[B]

That man's hot.

[A]

Why wouldn't you, you know. No, he's kind of right up your alley.

[B]

Yeah, he's a karate dude and he plays guitar.

[A]

Nerdy. Cool.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Very good guitar player. Great comedian.

[A]

Amazing guitar player. He's very quiet about that.

[B]

Oh yeah, And I forget which martial art.

[A]

He's but one of them Krav Maga or something.

[B]

He's very good. Time to hit the mailbag here.

[A]

Hit the old mailbag. Tom and I.

[B]

My first letter says. I can't wait to hear that Dr. Buckets is going to be on your show. Dr. Buckets, the basketball AC.

[A]

Don't anybody go anywhere Dr. Buckets today to see.

[B]

Did he. Did he in fact Set a new record for 24 hours of three point shooting.

[A]

For the purposes of this conversation, I'm going to say yes.

[B]

Well, have you checked it already?

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Why would I check it?

[B]

You guys appreciate nothing. Guy comes and guys comes. A guy comes in and sits for one of the great rock drummers of all time, who's, by the way, passed out. One of the descriptions was they think that Keith Moon took an elephant tranquilizer. He'd done like this was. I want to say, I don't have the story.

[A]

He was famous for taking whatever people would give him.

[B]

Yeah. And that's why he's not alive. But it was the first of the Quadrophenia tour. It was one of the first shows.

[A]

Well, that explains it. That never really got off the ground. The quadraphonic sound. Right.

[B]

Quadrophenia was a band. It was the post Tommy who never.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Yeah, but. Yeah, I'm with you there. That wasn't.

[A]

The magic stereo was enough. Tommy was just like 3D TV hasn't caught on HD's.

[B]

Well, quadraphonic is a whole different thing. Just a similar word. Never mind. Let's just get.

[D]

Your toothpaste thing has caught the world

[A]

by storm, Caught the nation's imagination.

[D]

Yes. We have a couple letters here. This is from William Henry.

[A]

William Henry Harrison.

[D]

It just says William Henry.

[A]

All right.

[D]

Catching up on last week's show and the Colgate thing is driving me crazy. Tom, your argument for doing this insane step saves a step. Putting a toothpaste directly in your mouth. No, it does not. Normal people put paste on toothbrush, insert toothbrush in mouth. Done. You jam toothpaste in tube in mouth, squeeze like a child yogurt tube, insert bear toothbrush in mouth, dig around for the paste, scatter throughout your mouth. Done.

[B]

Oh, no, no. They're skipping the tongue action.

[D]

Whatever.

[B]

Check toothpaste and mouth and then a little tongue action.

[D]

Barry.

[A]

Also, when I squirt the toothpaste in my mouth, I like to go, oh, yeah, a little of that.

[B]

Remember the letter we had from the blind guy yesterday?

[D]

Okay, that makes sense. Barry says, okay, you guys, do you squirt ketchup into your mouth and then put your french fries in?

[B]

I do on occasion.

[C]

No way do you do that.

[B]

I've been known to do that. I have done the following.

[A]

I've done ketchup, I've done mayonnaise. Have not done mustard. I don't know why, but I. I have absolutely.

[B]

I have done this salt shaker head back.

[A]

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[B]

Potato chips, French fries.

[A]

Whatever.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Tom Saltz is.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

He's worse than me with salt again.

[B]

This chick and I have been discussing this for years. This is how we've always brushed our teeth.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

But because no one else uses my toothpaste or my toothbrush, so I'm just saving a step. And then this became a big story because. Who was it?

[A]

Bryce Harper.

[B]

Bryce Harper, the baseball player put a video of him doing this up and

[A]

it's suddenly he put a tick tock up of him doing it now.

[D]

Well, he was with no shirt on, and that's what people were looking at. They weren't looking at how he brushed his teeth.

[B]

Well, you're looking at.

[A]

Obviously you like to camp out in that chest, huh? All right.

[B]

We did have a letter from a blind guy that said that's how he does it.

[D]

Yeah, I know, but that makes sense. But you're not blind.

[B]

It doesn't make sense to fumble around looking for the. It's just the brush. Just a simple step. Okay.

[A]

Now, I also move my head when I brush my hair.

[D]

Do you?

[A]

I don't move the brush.

[C]

You keep it stationary.

[A]

That's right. Well, I just hold the brush.

[B]

That does create a new level of idiocy.

[A]

Why? That's why I've always done it.

[B]

Do you comb your pubes?

[A]

Do I comb my pubes? No, I just let them. I just let them go.

[B]

I like to put a little gel down there and part them in the middle and do a Great Gatsby thing. I am way behind that 20s era haircut where they had.

[D]

Yikes.

[C]

Yeah, I'm that lovely.

[A]

I'm way behind in tending my pubes. I need.

[D]

Are they long?

[A]

A little. True. Yeah, they're kind of out of control. No, really, I like to keep a nice house, but yeah.

[B]

Do you. Do you process them?

[A]

I don't know what you mean by

[B]

that word, but like Chuck Berry, famously in. In the 50s, there was a unfortunate fashion trend in which they used to call it the process.

[A]

Process.

[B]

Certain people of various ethnicities would straighten their hair.

[A]

That's why I was being evasive.

[B]

And I suppose if you were really desperate, you could do that down there. I understand it's quite painful. The chemicals are quite.

[D]

Chemicals down there by your junk?

[B]

No, it's hot. Okay.

[A]

Dear Bob and Tom show. This is for Josh. Soup. Herb balls, Josh. I believe I'll take the soup.

[C]

Oh, all right.

[A]

Say Super Bowl. Josh said he liked to buy the Super Bowl.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Did any other kid do that?

[C]

I would have.

[A]

If I'd have thought of it, I would have tried to buy the Super Bowl. They came in as I was.

[B]

Are they still a thing peak the Super Bowl?

[C]

I don't know. I haven't seen one in a long time.

[A]

I know. I. I think they were all kinds of sizes now. And I know Sammy Sosa used to use the Super Bowl. I know that. Used to train with one. Okay, well, you got all of that one. They'd say, oh, yeah, it's gonna land in Milwaukee. That's right.

[D]

With an aluminum bat. Can you imagine that tingle?

[B]

We have some interesting baseball news coming up today about some of the speeds of some of the pitches. Can you imagine if they let major league guys use an aluminum bat?

[D]

No.

[C]

Oh, there'd be devs.

[B]

Yeah, they'd kill somebody. Yeah, it would be.

[A]

Well, you know, they have the exit speed now for home runs. It's like 117 miles an hour. They can put the radar gun on. On the ball as it leaves the bat. It's pretty fascinating. That's fascinating.

[D]

You're trying to catch him in the bleachers.

[A]

You see the difference between that and Dr. Buckets?

[B]

Why don't you appreciate the skill level of Dr. Buckets?

[A]

He's a magician. There's a trick to what he's doing.

[D]

No, there's no defense.

[A]

Why isn't he playing in the.

[C]

Christy's right about that.

[A]

NBA. I mean, there's no defense.

[B]

There's no defense in archery either. But you.

[D]

That's a totally different no, but you

[B]

appreciate someone who can get 50 bullseyes in a row who taught you how to argue. Another winner.

[A]

The fur bearing trout argument. Go ahead.

[D]

His dad was.

[B]

You don't think it's impressive?

[C]

I think what. What Dr. Buckets does is impressive. I just. I mean, we have gone nuts with it.

[A]

There has been coverage.

[C]

No, but you enjoy your conversation with him. We can.

[D]

Chick.

[C]

We can sit back, think about this

[A]

and enjoy my diet Pepsi. Yeah.

[B]

What was his record for the most free throws in a row? Do we remember that?

[A]

Of course not.

[C]

I mean, that's not something you keep top of mind.

[A]

And damn it, you. You admit right now you don't have that top.

[C]

Right? Right.

[A]

You had to look it up.

[B]

No, I was asking you guys. I thought maybe you'd remember. Yesterday we had a discussion about Malort slash Malort.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

Which is a beverage very popular in Chicago. What is it? Is it a Swedish liqueur, well known

[A]

for its hideous taste?

[B]

It's kind of a rite of passage.

[A]

It's on brand for Chicago Yeah, and they're trying.

[B]

They're going to. Sometime soon they're going to set. Try to set the record for the most people doing a shot. And this, this is something you throw back. And apparently it has a terrible aftertaste. Ms. Hooker said there was. What was it called? The Chicago something.

[A]

Chicago handshake.

[B]

The Chicago handshake.

[A]

That's an old style at Wrigley.

[B]

And apparently it has a terrible taste and an even worse aftertaste.

[D]

No, thanks.

[B]

As a Chicago resident, I consume.

[A]

Have you had any thing in your mouth? That was a awful aftertaste, Tom.

[B]

Yeah, that hot dog, that vegan hot dog we had last week, that wasn't very good.

[A]

Yeah, I was.

[C]

That was terrible. I think Chick was looking for something else, but I was looking for that.

[A]

That clown that you took back. The girl from the circus and the clown.

[D]

Don't tell that story again.

[B]

Oh, cowboy.

[D]

Thank you.

[C]

That had a terrible during taste in it.

[B]

Yeah,

[A]

during. There was an odor before, during and after.

[D]

The odor affect the taste of you know what?

[B]

Of everything.

[D]

Of everything. You know what, it smells bad, but it doesn't really taste bad. But in your mind, you know what?

[A]

It didn't affect his performance. He went right ahead.

[C]

Man's a champ.

[B]

There may have been vomiting involved.

[A]

Oh, really?

[C]

You know what it does? The record doesn't count.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, is that like when dated?

[A]

That's right. If you refund, if you barfed, that's

[C]

like an eating contest.

[B]

This comes to us from Emily.

[A]

You get points for the orgasm.

[B]

Chicago. I have consumed a lot of malort. I hated it. It really is a rite of passage. It tastes like how band aids smell mixed with gasoline and burning car oil.

[A]

Okay, I. I like the way bandits

[C]

love it, but I don't want to taste that.

[A]

Yeah, that's true.

[B]

The way band aids smell.

[C]

I love the smell of band aids too.

[A]

And why can't we get brand name band aids here?

[C]

I don't know who decided to. Who skipped out on the 35 cents?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, come on, Tom. Why can't we get regular. Buy us some band aids, Tom.

[D]

Fabrically ones. You know what I'm talking about.

[C]

Band Aid brand bandit.

[D]

Yes. Fabric.

[B]

Here's something incredible.

[A]

Don't cheap out pretentious.

[B]

That I will, I will. Say, you guys have stayed in a nice hotel, right?

[C]

Certainly.

[B]

I mean like a really nice hotel.

[A]

I pinched my pennies. Yes.

[B]

Have you ever noticed that even the nicest hotels don't use name brand Q tips?

[A]

Yep.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

And there is some off brand. I don't know who it is that's conning.

[D]

It's just wrapped around a wooden stick.

[B]

The Four Seasons has these Q tips.

[C]

I think whoever that sales rep is has charisma to boot.

[B]

Yes. Because every hotel, I don't know, they're awful. There must be some hotel procurement company that refuses to deal with the. With the Q tip brand people.

[A]

I just landed the Waldorf tomorrow. The Astoria.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what these are? These are name brand Q tips.

[A]

Q tip. Q tips, yeah.

[B]

Is this Johnson and Johnson or whoever made. Whoever makes this. They're great.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

And I love the big warning. Don't put them in your ear. Right.

[D]

Just on the outside of your ear.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know what it is about these hotels.

[C]

I think they should flimsy as all get out.

[B]

A good hotel should have a thing saying we use real Q tips.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I'd be happy to do a commercial for the Q tip people.

[C]

Hbo, color tv.

[A]

Real Q tips right there on the side.

[B]

Do you remember the days when you'd see a roadside hotel? Free hbo?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

That dates us.

[D]

When was the last time you stayed in a roadside motel?

[C]

Not as long ago as you might think.

[D]

Oh, really?

[B]

When we went to Dallas for that convention?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Remember, I couldn't fly because I. Oh,

[D]

that's right, you spent.

[B]

I'd had eye surgery. I had to drive there and I stayed in Texarkana. The funniest thing to me was I got there really late and I walked across the street to Waffle House. I'd never been to Waffle House. I was really pissed that they didn't have pancakes. But I got up the next morning and I realized I was the only vehicle in the parking lot that wasn't a pickup truck. The only one.

[D]

Well, people were working.

[B]

Hey, welcome to Texas. It was awesome.

[A]

Did that hotel have a razor blade disposal in the wall?

[B]

No, it wasn't that old. Really?

[D]

I really want to do Route 66 and stay in those motels along the way. Like in like Arizona.

[B]

You can smell where I think Allen Ginsburg got jack hair.

[D]

We should really cool.

[A]

I'll do that as a road trip. Build camaraderie.

[D]

That's the last time we were. I was in a roadside motel when we did the road trip when we were in Kansas or somewhere.

[A]

Somewhere.

[D]

Yeah. That was a creepy movie.

[A]

That hotel had razor blade storage in the wall. I tell you that awful.

[B]

So every once in a while, someone must be tearing down one of those hotels and they take away the drywall and there's 30 old razors if you don't know, if you don't know what we're talking about. The razor blades that were two, they were two sided.

[D]

Don't you have one over there you

[C]

don't usually keep before Disposable razors.

[A]

Really?

[D]

Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that you. There'd be a little slot, it would just fall between the studs and go down into the wall behind the plaster.

[A]

That's another good salesman who thought that was a good idea. But I guess.

[B]

Well, the idea was they didn't want you to throw them in a waste basket so that when they're emptying mouth they'd slice their hand open.

[A]

Huh. All right.

[B]

I mean when you have a disposable razor, don't you put the little cap back on before you throw in the garbage?

[D]

No, I, it's, I, I don't have a cap.

[A]

I haven't had a disposable razor since.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Keith Moon passed out at the concert.

[B]

You don't than shaving your.

[D]

Do you use electric right around here?

[A]

I use a nice blade.

[D]

Gotcha.

[B]

Okay. Well, coming up once again we're going to talk with Ryan Martin, internationally known as Dr. Buckets, the world's greatest basketball shooter.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Also comedian.

[A]

Apologies to Reggie Miller.

[B]

Comedian Bill Langvall will also be defense. Yes, I know. And as I said before, it's a different skill.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

The man is an expert basketball shooter. Well, I mean we should do again as in the, in the sport of archery, there's no defense.

[A]

How about this? You're starting a basketball team. Are you going to pick Reggie or Dr. Buckets with your first.

[B]

I heard that Dr. Buckets has some really good D. Is that right? So this may be a, this may be a push.

[A]

I hope Reggie doesn't hear about this.

[D]

Okay, we're going to switch from basketball to soccer. You know the world is gearing up to watch all the stars at the FIFA World Cup.

[A]

That's right.

[D]

Hyundai has its eyes on that next generation of talent. The future stars who are already turning heads at the age of 14. Because next doesn't wait for an invitation. And neither does Hyundai. Hyundai has always moved the future within reach. They did it when they made advanced safety standard on every vehicle and engineered EVs with ultra fast charging capability. And they're still doing it every day. Because the future isn't some far off concept. It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA.

[B]

Thank you very much, Hyundai. Thank you, Christy Lee. Coming up, your letters, including on the subject of back scratching, which came up yesterday. And we have a little bit of information.

[A]

I don't know if he's too embarrassed to say this, but I know Josh Arnold is a big, a big fan of getting his back scratched.

[C]

Love it. Yeah. Not too embarrassed at all.

[B]

And then this letter actually is an inquiry for you involving something I haven't heard of in the realm of back scratching. We'll find out what on earth that could be. Also coming up, we have interesting news from the world of sports. So the Cleveland Browns have made a major trade. So they may actually get worse, if that's possible.

[A]

I like the trade for the Browns getting rid of their best player, Miles Garrett's 30. I mean, they get Jared Verse. Come on. Okay, we'll see. Can you get some draft picks? All right.

[B]

That and of course, the legendary Dr. Buckets will be joining us here in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Want to share a letter or comment? Our email is Bob and Tom.

[B]

Bob and Tom.com buckets.

[A]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Christy Lee at the news desk.

[D]

Hi.

[A]

There's Josh Arnold.

[C]

Hello.

[A]

Hello. There's Ace Cosby. Hello. Hello. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.

[B]

Hello, Chick McGee. Right now, Pat Godwin getting set to have his shoulder operated on.

[D]

How many times has he texted you

[B]

the morning he maybe have been in touch.

[C]

You got this, Patty?

[B]

Yeah, it's gonna be fine.

[D]

I sent him a text last night.

[B]

I talked with a doctor, a doctor buddy of mine that does this. And he said they've made so many advances in this procedure, he's gonna be fine. But I have a nice letter about it from Brandon. Kind enough to write us. He says a native lager somewhere in the glass mountains of Oregon. Oh, he goes, dear Show, I work in the forest. Listen to you guys on the app. Sometimes on Spotify, sometimes on the FM dial. Pat Godwin should be fine. I have six titanium pins holding both my rotator cuffs together.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

I'm reading here verbatim. I can rip a cigarette and drive a manual diesel pickup, all one armed while still logging.

[C]

Nice.

[B]

Also, fish hunt and harpoon. The big ones.

[D]

All right.

[B]

Never did strum the old guitar, though. Oh, of course. I was a wee lad, not a geriatric old man like that.

[A]

You know what else I bet he can See, he can see the forest for the tree.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

This guy sounds like a badass. Well, thank you, Brandon, and, well, Pat, good luck.

[D]

He's got the best doctor.

[B]

He'll be fine.

[D]

He'll be great.

[B]

So he's going to take the rest of the week off. He intends to come in here next week. I urged him not to, but we'll see. And he can't play the guitar for whatever, six, eight weeks.

[D]

What are you gonna do, just sit here?

[B]

Well, we're gonna bring in guest guitar players.

[D]

He can sing acapella. He's got that kind of.

[A]

When he comes back, I'm gonna get a big box of popcorn and just watch the fun.

[C]

The guy's good for five or six sniper lines, too.

[D]

Yeah, he's funny.

[B]

Yeah, it'll be fine.

[C]

He's got this. He's more than just a guitar.

[B]

And he can also play the keyboard with his left hand.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So you can play the good.

[D]

Well, no, we love you, Pat.

[A]

He plays both of them one time every now and then.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Guitar and the key.

[B]

Yeah. Well, he won't be doing that.

[A]

No.

[B]

Now, let's get back to the mailbag. What have you got over there?

[A]

Dear Bob and Tom Show. We were talking about woodpeckers.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I got a woodpecker at my house, and he's kind of become a member of the family. If I don't hear him on Saturday or Sunday, I get worried.

[D]

I read yesterday they recognize people and voices, and they start to get comfortable around you.

[A]

Oh, come on.

[D]

I'm. They're smart, these pilated woodpeckers.

[A]

Woodpeckers will also peck on something that makes a loud noise when mating.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Is that. Do you have that?

[B]

I got the same sentiment here. Yeah. I mentioned yesterday. I've got a woodpecker at my house.

[A]

Knock, knock, knock. How about it? Knock, knock, knock.

[B]

What is it? The pergola thing? That wooden thing that the ivy's growing on? Yeah. He's attacking that.

[C]

Ah. So maybe there's not bugs in it. Maybe he's just mating.

[B]

Yeah, that's what this says. The same thing. Woodpeckers hang in your house to signal other woodpeckers they want a mate and warning other males to stay away.

[A]

He's just on the first course. He's just having a salad, by the

[B]

way, in the spring, it's illegal to kill woodpeckers.

[D]

I said that yesterday. They're federally protected.

[A]

I'd like to think there's a woodpecker described as a. Disguised as a Lawmaker in some of these state senates. Oh, I'd like to make it illegal to kill woodpeckers. Oh, that's my ironclad stance.

[C]

I think we should listen to the. Wait a second. And then they rip open the trench coat.

[A]

That's right. There he is.

[C]

Now, knocking isn't always woodpeckers, remember? That's also how Sasquatch communicate.

[D]

Oh, is it?

[C]

They knock on.

[D]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[B]

Morse code kind of thing.

[C]

Something similar. Yeah, they're still studying it.

[D]

I'll be darn.

[A]

That was in that movie Sasquatch Sunset.

[C]

It shows them knocking.

[A]

It shows them knocking. Yes. That's how Mr. And Mrs. Sasquatch met. As I. Oh. Oh, yeah. They were meat cute.

[B]

Yesterday you were discussing Joshua, discussing how you enjoy having your back scratched.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

This comes to us from Jason in Columbus. Josh asked if anyone would pay for an hour's worth of back scratching. I have trouble sleeping. I found a channel on YouTube called Scratcher Girls. And then I. Don't you have to explain this next part to me?

[A]

Should you be.

[B]

It's. It's an ASMR channel.

[C]

Just means audio. Some sort of audio stimulation so you can hear the scratching going on.

[B]

Oh, I see. From a company in Miami, Florida. People go and have their backs scratched.

[D]

Huh?

[B]

They actually go on tour and set up at farmers markets. And you can pay five or ten for five or ten minute sessions.

[C]

Oh, nice.

[B]

It's relaxing to watch. I would totally go and pay to have my back scratched. How about that?

[A]

I haven't done it yet, but I would go to the massage in the airports. Yeah, go have a quick massage before you get on head and shoulders. Get on a plane. Yeah.

[B]

I think it's awkward, though, because people can see you.

[A]

Well, no, your head. You don't know they can see your head's bare.

[D]

Yeah, I've done that before, actually. You just get in the little cradle

[A]

chair and it'd probably be embarrassing for me because I always have full release.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

That's like me during my shoe shine.

[A]

That's exactly.

[C]

Oh, boy. Yeah. That poor guy's right down there.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Shine him up. Shine them up. I see. Okay.

[B]

What else have you got over there?

[A]

Dear Bob and Tom show greetings. I was just in Marquette, Michigan, this weekend for a wedding. While at the hotel, my partner and I went to the Jacuzzi. There was an older couple that joined us. The husband was the spitting image of actor Peter Patrick Stewart. I had to fight my inner Tom and not Say, do you know you look exactly like Patrick Stewart? It was very difficult, but I managed. Has anyone else had to fight their inner Tom to get past a social faux pas? I bet there are people who invoke your Tom made me do this.

[C]

Patrick Stewart's not insulting.

[A]

Yeah. He's considered sexy, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Absolutely sexy, man.

[B]

Someone said to you, you. You kind of resemble Ernest Hemingway. Would you be insulted?

[A]

No.

[B]

Yeah, there you go.

[A]

Other. Well, depending on timing. When. When I look like Ernest Hemingway, of course. I. Yeah.

[B]

Never mind. I should have thought. I should have thought of somebody else. I knew it.

[D]

George Clooney. That's.

[B]

Knew it. Now, what's coming up in the world of sports?

[A]

We've got the NBA playoffs starting tomorrow night. The NHL Stanley cup starting tonight. We had blockbuster trades in the NFL yesterday. Miles Garrett. I thought it was a. I thought it was a prank when it came across my timeline, but Miles Garrett is officially a Los Angeles Ram. And AJ Brown is officially a New England patriot and a couple of world. World records.

[B]

You asked me the other day if I'd ever been pulled over or the last time I'd been pulled over. And I was pulled over several years ago with my bright lights on. And in my defense, I was coming out of a very wooded area where suddenly there's nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. And then a giant car dealer and.

[A]

And they pulled you over for having your brights on.

[B]

Yeah. And then. But so we got a letter here. I'm a former deputy sheriff and yes, you can get pulled over for running your bright lights. Not only are you blinding people coming the opposite direction, but they're also a good indicator of intoxication or a stolen vehicle.

[A]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[B]

Because the way they break the ignition of some cars, it automatically makes the headlight stay on bright.

[C]

Oh, interesting.

[B]

Since the switch is that is in the column handle. I'm not sure if that's still the case. Contemporary cars, but that's interesting. Thank you, Mark. Have you ever heard of this place, Josh? Battlefield, Missouri.

[A]

No, Battlefield, Missouri.

[B]

Yeah. Well, thank you very much.

[C]

Look up where that is.

[A]

Have we covered this topic? If you're in a self driving Tesla and you're intoxicated, can you get a.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Dui if you're the only person in the car and it's taking you home.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, you can.

[D]

That happen in Florida?

[B]

Yeah, we've had this. Well, I don't know if it's universal, but. Yeah.

[A]

Really? But I'm not driving.

[B]

I just talked to a guy the other day that Came from Detroit all the way to his house without touching the steering wheel.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Did it park for him and everything?

[B]

Well, I, I, who knows?

[A]

But did it park like I do or run into the side of the garage?

[D]

I did that the other day.

[A]

Come on, it's fine.

[B]

Yeah, I, I enjoy driving.

[A]

So do I.

[B]

But we're gonna be the last generation that gets to do it.

[A]

You're gonna not, you're not gonna give up driving easily.

[B]

Enjoy.

[A]

You're gonna have to be made probably

[B]

by a judge 25 years from now if you want to drive. You'll have to pay more, I think, for insurance. That's just my guess. They're gonna say they want you to hook into the system.

[A]

You know, my insurance, they, and I, I said, yeah, go ahead. They have a tracker on my. And it shows where I go, how often I go, what speed I traveled. And then if I'm, if I'm, you associate with, if I'm a decent driver.

[D]

How many put a tracker in your car?

[A]

How many wars I pick up? No, they just know.

[D]

How do they know?

[A]

They're in the insurance company. And then I get phone. If I behave especially nicely, I get a discount on my insurance.

[D]

Oh, well, look at you.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Very fancy now.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Also coming up in the world of news, Christy Lee.

[D]

Coming up, we have donkeys used as therapy. We have a musician who steps up for somebody that got sick.

[A]

Have you, have you seen the viral videos of the donkeys evidently are incredibly affectionate and they get attached to their owners. Oh, donkeys.

[D]

Yeah, they're great.

[A]

And they mourn and, and they celebrate when they see their owner again. It's wild. It's like they're people.

[D]

And sadly, we've all been here. A relationship breaks up and sometimes there's some destruction that follows.

[A]

We'll talk about that being like clothes being cut up.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Yearbooks being burned.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

You guys have had that happen.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[B]

It can get worse. Dinghies allegedly tipping over, you know.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Jars of change thrown out into the street, stuff like that.

[D]

Grills put out to the trash.

[B]

You didn't, you didn't set his clothes on fire, did you?

[D]

Me? No, I just threw them out.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Yard, but it was raining.

[B]

Very good.

[A]

Oh, I, I still maintain she killed the dogs. That's all I'm saying. Okay.

[B]

Once again, we'll be returning with some of these pleasant stories to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

More of the show is on the way.

[B]

You can find us on X at Bob and Tomorrow. Or you can email us at bob&tomobandtom.com Holiday World Tickets

[A]

welcome back to the Bob and Tom show in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios at the News Center. It's Christy Lee. Hello. There's Jeff Osu.

[C]

Hey, man.

[A]

Hey. Is that a bowling shirt or is that just a casual shirt or is

[C]

that just a. I think it's just

[D]

a casual very nice shirt.

[A]

School vintage. Is that vintage or did you buy that? No. Okay. There's Josh Arnold. Hi. Hi there. There's Ace Cosby.

[C]

Howdy.

[A]

I'm Chick. Hello. Tom. We got a couple letters left.

[B]

Me too. I got one over here. Just getting excited about our conversation coming up in about an hour with Dr. Buckets.

[A]

Yeah. Please include Jeff in the Dr. The Dr. Buckets today. Yeah.

[D]

Aren't you lucky?

[C]

Oh, my goodness.

[A]

Have you ever been a. Okay.

[C]

Do you realize a long break also.

[B]

What was it? What was it in. In one hour he sank. What was it? 220 half court shots. You guys couldn't sink three.

[D]

I don't want.

[C]

Right. But that's fine.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

God. The lack of appreciation of skill in our culture.

[C]

I think we are appropriately. We have appropriately treated this man. We've treated this man act appropriately.

[A]

Like a carnival act.

[C]

We went. Oh, yeah, man. That's that. That takes some talent and skill and practice.

[A]

There's no difference. That was it between this and making a shot on riding a donkey. It's the same thing.

[C]

You're trying to get invited to his house.

[D]

I know.

[A]

Yeah. You want to be his manager, for God's sake.

[D]

You want to go to Maine that badly?

[B]

You know, this time of year. Maine's gorgeous.

[A]

All right. Get a cabin up there.

[C]

Yeah, that would be nice, actually. Maybe we should lock it all down. We should go see this guy the next time he does one of these.

[B]

Meet the great Stephen King. Are you kidding? I love that this gets to our next letter. This is from Autumn.

[A]

Could have sworn I was talking, but go ahead.

[B]

Autumn is from the Commonwealth of Kentucky.

[D]

Oh.

[B]

As she points out, 12 year veteran softball coach.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Snark, please.

[A]

Why would I snark? I was watching the softball.

[C]

I'm not going to make any snarky comments. I don't want to piss off her girlfriend.

[A]

College World Series. I don't want her to drive over me in a Subaru.

[C]

Those broads.

[B]

Yeah, he's back.

[C]

Sick or husky on me.

[B]

I was. I was watching. I told you this yesterday. I was watching some of that softball what you said.

[C]

How.

[B]

How fast Are those balls coming at

[A]

you 70 miles an hour underhand?

[B]

And they're hard and they're huge.

[C]

How they have control, that's what's always baffled me.

[A]

And evidently the mechanics of throwing underhand. There's no wear and tear on your arm whatsoever.

[B]

And that. But that swinging motion. They do it. It's almost cartoon like.

[C]

That's crazy.

[D]

Wasn't Ali a pitcher? She can answer all these questions. She was a.

[B]

She's a catcher. She's got that kid.

[A]

Hey. Oh, she has been having. Had to have some sort of say.

[C]

Got it right in the Verge.

[A]

Yeah. Bang. That's where the babies.

[B]

So, Autumn, baby maker, once again, I apologize for everything that's happened since I read your name. Hit her in the baby.

[C]

She knows who she's writing.

[B]

A softball coach. 12 years the fields were being aerated, resulting in plugs of dirt that the size of my thumb everywhere. They did this to my lawn.

[A]

Is this a good thing to do?

[D]

Looks like goose poop all over your yard.

[A]

You get your lawn aerated. Is that some sort of code for something?

[C]

No. In a lesbian world.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why don't you come in here and aerate my lawn?

[C]

Right.

[B]

There's no point reading the letter anymore.

[A]

Really?

[B]

No. We've lost it all.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

You think Autumn doesn't know the show she wrote to any listener. Anybody who writes this show should expect nothing but the worst.

[D]

Right? Exactly.

[B]

The problem. When my lawn gets aerated, one of my dogs thinks they're little.

[A]

They eat it.

[B]

They think they're like little miniature Twinkies. So I've got to make sure I get, in any event, back to the aerated lawn.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I showed it to the girls and explained why it was being done at the outfield. Would be real nice in a couple of weeks. A few weeks later, the grass was looking really good.

[C]

And that's another euphemism.

[A]

Look at my grass. Oh, I know. You've been spending some time.

[B]

Oh, really? Let's see.

[A]

Nicely quaffed.

[B]

One of my outfitters came in with a dirt plug and said, the grass looks good, but when all these dirt plugs go away, I said, honey, that's goose poop.

[C]

Oh, no.

[D]

Whoa.

[A]

They do look like dirt plugs.

[B]

Good times.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

P.S. i want to know what Josh's kitties look like. I enjoy the biscuit and gravy updates.

[C]

Oh, thanks. Yeah. They're on Instagram.

[A]

Oh, they are? Yeah, Absolutely.

[B]

Okay, well, biscuit and gravy, the kitty cats with Josh. You have a letter over there, sir.

[A]

Dear Bob, And Tom show you brought up the license plate TRD lvr. Ever since, that's all I can see when I see a Toyota Land Cruiser

[B]

is we thought it was turd lover, right? It turns out Toyota TRD is some exotic Toyota Research M series, BMW or something recreational.

[A]

I don't know. I was driving over the weekend. Every time I saw one I would chuckle to myself. She finally asked, what is so damn funny? I told her the situation. She shot me a look and started to laugh herself. That night I got out of the shower, opened the bathroom door and said to her, you want some of this? Before I put it away. And she looked at me and said, damn straight.

[C]

Oh, these letters have just become a greatest hits of the last three months.

[A]

Love you guys. Johnny and Ten.

[C]

They're now. Okay, TRD is done. Anybody who's attempting to write the show, the toothpaste thing is done.

[A]

Wait a minute, I'm making a list.

[C]

Okay, yeah, okay. We simply won't read them. We have to make some kind of parameters here or I'm going to blow my brains out.

[B]

Aren't you glad that you are no longer just doing stand up comedy?

[C]

No, it's a totally different thing. I know you're gonna try to make this comparison.

[B]

It doesn't work because you would do the same jokes, totally different night after night.

[C]

No, it is. It's quite different. Not even worth discussing.

[B]

You could get up in front of people, go, well, I was going to do my hunk about my legs. The man's not even listening to me. But I'm bored with it.

[A]

You're not listening?

[C]

No, he's not interested in what any of us say. Yeah, which is why we keep talking about the effing toothpaste.

[B]

I didn't bring it up.

[D]

Christy, did you ask for letters?

[B]

Well, I guess we're moving on. What have you got over there, chick?

[C]

I doubt we are.

[A]

Cleveland Browns are trading Miles Garrett. Good name. That's like a private detective name waiting to happen. Miles Garrett two time AP NFL defensive player of the year. Oh, he's very good. He's the member of the Los Angeles Rams. This morning The Browns traded 30 year old pass rusher for Jared Verse and some draft picks. Garrett demanded a trade at the end of the 24 season, but signed a four year contract extension last March with a total value of 204.8 mil. That made him the highest paid non quarterback in NFL his history. The contract also included a no trade clause and the Eagles have traded star wide receiver and malcontent AJ Brown to the New England Patriots. As part of the deal, the Eagles get a first round pick and a 27 fifth round pick. AJ will be reunited with his first NFL coach, Mike Vrabel, who played under Vrabel for three seasons when he was head coach of the Titans.

[B]

Brable's playing over some lady in a hot tub, right?

[A]

I don't have the proper music. Oh, yeah. Today Mike and Diana.

[B]

He's probably glad that someone else is getting symbolicity for a couple of days. Anything to take the camera off him for.

[D]

I saw you. I saw an article yesterday. I'm not going to mention the woman's name, but she is exposing that a lot of female reporters are sleeping with people to get stories. Oh, I know. I was like, come on.

[A]

You know, I hope that's not true. It can't be true. And not a rumor.

[D]

I know.

[A]

Vicious.

[D]

As somebody who worked in the sports business a long time ago, that would never even come up ever.

[C]

Boy, I didn't even know that was an option. People want to know some things about this show.

[B]

You want the inside story? I'll get in. First I gotta get inside you.

[A]

First I gotta get inside you.

[C]

There's a chance somebody has said that.

[D]

That's a line.

[A]

Were you trying to clean that up before you said that?

[B]

That was relatively. I mean, I think one could look at being inside someone as a. As a. Metaphysically inside their head as not. As opposed to penetration. You're not helping this Miles Gareth. Isn't he the best defensive player in the league?

[A]

Yeah, but he's 30 and the Browns are getting 30.

[D]

Paul.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Dispose the other guys in the Browns as he was leaving the locker room

[A]

said, take me with you.

[C]

He might.

[A]

He might have. You know, that's. The rumors are that's Deshaun Watson's team now. You know he's going to be the starting quarterback as we look ahead. You Browns fans. Well, I'm sorry, but that's the way it's going to be. Evidently. WNBA last night. Dallas and Minnesota win NHL Stanley cup tonight Vegas very, very at Carolina. These are the finals. Tom, who you like? Who's favorite in this, Vegas or Carolina?

[B]

I told you I was rooting for Montreal because my Canadian college roommate. But can. They're gone.

[A]

I think Carolina might be. Might be favorite.

[C]

They.

[A]

They've had a pretty good postseason. And New York City Mayor Zoran Mandami has officially repealed bedtime for the city students during the NBA Finals. The mayor was joined by a group of students earlier this week to sign an executive order that repeals bedtime so the kids could stay up late to watch the Knicks.

[B]

Did you see the Prescott?

[C]

No, it's summer school, kids. They weren't going to bed early.

[A]

Around. Did you see the press around the clock?

[D]

No, I didn't.

[B]

Yeah, there's a bunch of kids there with them.

[A]

And game one of the finals tomorrow,

[B]

Dami said you don't have to go to bed early. And then he said they're gonna have to eat vegetables for dinner, and then they're going to impose Sharia law. And then he taught him the. How to sing the International.

[A]

Okay, kids,

[B]

everybody's saying, come on, don't

[A]

do as I do. Do as I said.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

What's yours is mine. Give me all your stuff.

[C]

1.

[A]

Some of the lyrics is, give me all your stuff.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[C]

It was way ahead of its time, right?

[A]

It preferred to stuff and stuff.

[B]

This guy's a socialist, doesn't believe in private property.

[A]

The kids signed it with their handprint. That's adorable.

[C]

Is this something cities will typically do? Just a fun PR deal?

[A]

Yeah. I think. Though the smaller cities, I think would be.

[B]

They usually do. They usually do the stupid trade.

[D]

What?

[C]

Oh, yeah. The mayors.

[A]

What New York's known for, which is

[B]

San Antonio, will trade Mexican immigrants for Puerto Rican immigrants. It's in New York.

[A]

So once again, we could all learn from this section of the show.

[B]

Oh, calm down.

[C]

Everybody said immigrants, not illegal. What am I doing? Son of a. I can't defend the man.

[A]

Well, it's just like Santa. No, it's not. Wait a minute. We'll have. These are just jokes on Marilyn Monroe. And we'll also have a.

[B]

See the pictures of this thing, this Merle Monroe thing.

[A]

It's Marilyn Monroe.

[D]

Monroe.

[C]

We don't even know what it is yet.

[B]

No, it was her birthday yesterday.

[D]

Her hundredth.

[C]

She would have been 100. Jeffy, were you a fan or. I mean, when you look back at

[A]

pictures of her, I mean, had she been alive, would you tag her now being 100.

[C]

Being 100.

[A]

Being 100.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Not hot. Dry.

[B]

Tom, I think they did. Hey, I'm just ignoring.

[C]

That was too much, wasn't it?

[B]

That sounds like a drink. I'd like a dry Maryland.

[A]

And once again, we've hit a new high or new low in a world record. Okay, I can't even give you a hint.

[B]

Coming up, stupid comedian Bill Langvall will be joining us. Also coming up, Dr. Buckets himself, Ryan Martin, basketball.

[A]

Don't go anywhere, Ace.

[B]

A guy who turned down my dream job. He was actually offered a place in the Washington Generals to tour with the Harlem Globetrotters. You would, you suppose they ride on the same bus?

[A]

What?

[C]

Well, I'm just gonna write this joke down.

[A]

I don't think, I don't think where the Globetrotters are concerned, we should probably talk about the. Let's just move on. Chrissy, what sort of news stories do you have? Thank you. Sorry. What do you got over there? I gotta, I gotta do trends and

[D]

we have new Cambridge dictionary.

[A]

Oh, that's good. Yeah, sure.

[D]

Ozzy Osbourne in the news still dead, right?

[B]

Yeah. They're putting them to work.

[D]

Yeah, they are.

[B]

All right, now everybody's talking about weight loss, specifically talking about injections to lose weight. Brick House Nutrition has a different idea, but this is only for people that want to lose 10 pounds or more. It's a weight loss supplement called Lean. And the physicians at Brickhouse Nutrition have been studying this and it's designed to burn fat, convert it into energy and mainly curb your appetite and curb those cravings so you're not as hungry. Lean is not for the casual dieter with just a few pounds to lose. The doctors at Brickhouse Nutrition created Lean for frustrated dieters that want to lose 10 pounds or more. And it's not an injectable. I'm not sure if I made that clear. Lean is a supplement part of a regular diet and exercise program. Get all the information by visiting the [e-mail] and by the way, if you enter my name, Tom, you'll get a very special 20% discount. Once again, it's takelean.com the code word is Tom. Once [e-mail] Weight loss. Of course, results are going to vary. These products and statements have not been evaluated by the fda. And these products are not intended to diagnose street, cure or prevent any disease or condition. Coming up, we have news and sports, more of your letters. You can reach us, Bob and tomobandtom.com we also have a interesting thing in the world of of human sexuality and how many partners have you had and by state, which states partner, which women and men in which states have had the most number of sexual encounters? The results are, I think astonishing and yet inaccurate. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Top Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Christy Lee at the news desk.

[D]

Yes, sir. Hello.

[A]

Yes, there's Jeff Oscar.

[C]

Hey, man.

[A]

Hey, there's Josh Arnold.

[C]

Hello.

[A]

And Ace Cosby. It's a. Hello. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.

[B]

Hello, Chick McGee. We're going to visit the sports page at this point.

[A]

Yes, we do. And right off the bat. Stupid. World record. More than 1,000 people gathered in Palm Springs, California to set the record for the most people dressed as Marilyn Monroe in celebration of what would have been the late star's 100th birthday. Birthday. A total of 1037 Maryland look alikes helped beat the previous record of 254 set in Australia in 2020.

[B]

It's mostly guys. What?

[C]

Yeah, I would think it might be a fun drag thing to do.

[A]

Yeah, see, but shouldn't there be some sort of guidelines? I mean.

[C]

Yeah, that one dressed in the caskets. A little tacky.

[B]

How about that guy? That guy there on the left. I don't want to see what happens when he stands over that subway. Great. Look at his hairy sack.

[A]

I mean, how little. How little resemblance counts as it appears.

[B]

All you need is a white dress and a blonde wig.

[D]

Yes, that's it.

[B]

Pretty much it.

[C]

But, oh, some have the towels on their head.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

I forget what that's from. Wow. How about that?

[B]

Where was this?

[A]

Palm Springs, California.

[C]

Is that where the big Marilyn Monroe.

[A]

It is.

[C]

Statue.

[B]

Oh, that's right.

[A]

You could stand underneath her.

[C]

Yeah, there was some trouble. Some people had some problems with it.

[A]

Oh, yeah, you essentially walk under her skirt. Yeah, walk right under.

[D]

What do you look like under there?

[C]

Well, it's got one of those. It's on the hot days, it has one of those misters. That's what's a little weird.

[D]

And in Palm Springs, it's always hot. We know that.

[A]

Cooling station.

[B]

Anybody dress up as Joe DiMaggio or Arthur Miller? Miller, Artie.

[D]

Arthur Miller.

[B]

That'd be. That'd be kind of cool. That's kind of a. I would say, if I were the judge, two Arthur Millers equals one Monroe. So you can count it. Joe DiMaggio counts as a full Monroe. Arthur Miller two, and then JFK three.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that. That's how you would rank her lovers. No, no.

[B]

In terms of counting with respect to the world record, I think it's. It's fair to say.

[A]

I see.

[B]

So who knows?

[A]

And we've got one more. Oh, stupid world record. They're not gonna believe it. A gentleman who calls himself Big John has broken the Guinness World Record for the most Takeaway to go orders memorized in 30 seconds.

[D]

When is his interview?

[A]

Is he after Dr. Buckets?

[B]

Dr. Buckets is a skilled athlete during

[A]

appearance on Guinness World Records podcast. Guinness has a podcast? Big John, whose real name is John Fisher, managed to rattle off a total of 40 menu items in the assigned time limit.

[C]

Thomas is the same restaurant. Or could he just go Big Mac Burrito Supreme? Big Montana.

[B]

I'd like the number one. The number two. The number three.

[A]

Emma Salt, the adjudicator for Guinness.

[C]

Her religion has nothing to do with it.

[A]

Witness the feat and confirm that Fisher as the title holder right on the spot. The new record especially fitting for John Fisher. He rose to online fame for eating Chinese to go orders. Oh, yeah, that's how he.

[D]

How does that make you famous?

[C]

Is he a famous. What's that called? Mukbang.

[D]

Oh, where they. People watch you eat?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, I didn't know that was a. Is that like an unboxing but with food?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

That's interesting.

[D]

Big Korean thing, isn't it?

[C]

Yeah. Some sort of Asian.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What would you be most. I still willing to recite, for example.

[A]

Oh, I don't know, man.

[B]

You could do what, like Freddy Krueger movies?

[C]

Yeah, I could probably recite horror movies, but you'd even want to narrow it down of the 80s of the slashers.

[B]

Or Christie could do who like Indy 500 drivers.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Chick could do quarterbacks for the Washington Redskins.

[A]

I could do numbers for the. Oh, that'd be pretty good for Washington. Over the years, they would.

[C]

They would name the player and you'd give the number.

[A]

Yeah, I would think.

[C]

Yeah, because if they didn't give the player or anything, it was just you

[A]

going, give me the number. Yeah, I go 5, 19.

[C]

My God, he's right.

[A]

83. 49 with Bobby Mitchell. 44. Riggins. Of course. 81 was Art Monk.

[B]

See?

[A]

7 was 11's Mark Rippin.

[D]

Yeah, but don't they change every year?

[A]

Some of them do, some of them don't.

[B]

Oh, what are the retired numbers?

[A]

Sammy Ball Jurgensen. I think Cliff Battles is retired. Let's see. Bobby Mitchell, retired. 49.

[B]

I could recite the Love song of J. Alfred Prufrock.

[C]

You can.

[A]

I think 20. That would be Darryl Green. 28.

[D]

Okay, for us. Unlearned. What the hell is that?

[C]

We have the world's most renowned T.S. eliot.

[A]

And by the way, for those of you needing to catch up on your sleep, it's Tom Griswold and he's going to. What is it? Recite in the room.

[B]

The Women come and go. Talking of Michelangelo.

[C]

Dirty claws. Dirty claws.

[B]

What's the part about the claws? Can you imagine if you were the heiress to T.S. eliot, and all of a sudden they come out with that stage play cats, and you're a billionaire. Just money rolling in, man.

[C]

That'd be awesome.

[A]

People in cat suits.

[B]

Yeah. That. You had pretty much nothing to do with it.

[A]

We.

[C]

We still don't know really how this. What this guy's. There were no parameters.

[B]

I think they must have shown him a menu and he had 30 seconds to memorize it.

[A]

No, no, you're assuming an awful lot

[D]

how it was presented.

[A]

No.

[C]

Yeah, I don't know how this works.

[A]

He recited 40 in the allotted time, and it doesn't give how much time he had. He might have had a whole afternoon to come up with 40, I don't know.

[C]

And we don't know if it was one restaurant or multiple.

[A]

Right.

[C]

All right, all right.

[A]

Well, I think it's interesting that in England they call it takeaway instead of to go.

[B]

The most takeaway dishes memorized in 30 seconds. So I assume they had to give him a menu and say, here, 30 seconds. Then he's. How many? You remember?

[A]

Well, okay.

[C]

Oh, so we only had 30 seconds to memorize. Yeah, yeah. Not 30 seconds to rattle them off.

[A]

No, no. You got crab rangoon. You got egg rolls.

[C]

You got broccoli with beef, broccoli with snow peas, broccoli with chicken, broccoli with. I mean, you don't have to memorize anything if you're talking Chinese restaurants. They're all the same happy family. Yeah. We all have that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

General sos. Yep. Yep.

[A]

I think we have a.

[B]

Has anybody ever done the 24 hour duck thing?

[C]

No, I never. Have you?

[B]

No, I've always wanted to do it.

[C]

Gotta be delicious.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You have to pre order a day in advance.

[A]

I think we have a picture of Big John, I'm being told.

[C]

Big, bad John. Oh, he's a big man.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, there he is. Wow. That poor bastard has to interview him and act like he's interested.

[C]

Big John's the tiny guy. That'd be awesome. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. The guy on the left does look like a radio, personally.

[B]

Looks like a happy guy, a big

[C]

dude all together, doesn't he?

[A]

He's five bills, man.

[B]

Look at that guy.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

You think?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

He's got to hover carefully to hit the hole. When he goes. That's a lot of butt.

[C]

He sits down on his cement toy.

[A]

What is it? He hauls ass. It takes him a Couple weeks when

[C]

he sits around the house.

[B]

Big John.

[C]

I like him. I like Big John. Looked like he was.

[B]

Looks like a happy guy.

[A]

Rare Earth had a song called Big John. One of my favorites.

[C]

I only remember Big Bad John. Yeah.

[B]

You don't remember. That was a Jimmy Dean. Big Bad John.

[A]

Big Badge song.

[C]

As a kid was different. I could. I would wear. I couldn't get enough of it. That was one that I recorded off the radio.

[A]

No kidding. Big Bad John. Would you skate around in the basement singing?

[C]

Not to that one. We only had our record player down there.

[A]

That's right. There's Josh Arnold, brave man.

[B]

Big Bad John. Remember the sequel?

[C]

I don't.

[B]

What?

[A]

Dead John?

[B]

No, this isn't a joke. There was a.

[A]

Come on.

[C]

How did I not know the sequel?

[D]

There's a sequel?

[B]

It would not. It wasn't as. It was a response. You know what I'm saying?

[D]

Well, there was a story song, so I don't remember. What happened to John in the story?

[A]

Well, he. He held the mine open, so he saved.

[B]

Yeah. The mine was collapsing and he held it up. And down below lies a big, big man because he got buried.

[A]

But he.

[C]

Yeah, he sacrificed himself.

[A]

Dead, Dead. Big John.

[C]

Huge bones down there.

[B]

This came out after Big John. I'm not. This is not. Let me see if I can get this to work.

[C]

Big Bad. Was it Jimmy Dean as well?

[B]

No.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

No, it's.

[A]

Was it Tennessee Urban Ford?

[B]

Oh, this isn't it.

[C]

Very different.

[B]

This is. This is a much better song. This is Sam and Dave. Sorry?

[A]

A little taste of Sam and Dave.

[C]

Is it a kind of a parrot? Small Sand Sam Here's a tale of

[B]

a man who was puny and Weak stood 4 foot 6 in his stocking feet Got a narrow in the shoulder and heavy in the waist Everything about him seemed to be misplaced Small Sam. Small sad Sam.

[D]

I've never heard that.

[A]

Not Big Bad John, but Small Sad Sam.

[B]

Just lame.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Really having a little fun there with the.

[B]

But just not good.

[C]

No. It doesn't sound very good.

[A]

What do you mean? I think it was. Sounds good.

[B]

Yeah. The arrangement stinks. The melody's awful. The story apparently only gets worse.

[A]

The story only gets worse.

[B]

God knows why. I remember Small sad. Sad.

[D]

Yeah. I don't know why you would. Bless your heart.

[B]

Yeah, well, I'm. I don't want to make everyone suffer along and listen to that.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

That's Bobby Kaylee, I believe.

[A]

Small Sadist.

[C]

Now, is that Jimmy Dean who did Big Bad John? The sausage baron as well.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Isn't that something? Renaissance man.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. He had his fingers and all.

[D]

I'm a go to for Jimmy Dean. Are you? If you were eating sausage.

[C]

Oh, I think it's a fine product.

[A]

Jimmy Dean had a variety show on Saturday nights on ABC for the longest.

[B]

And you know who he introduced?

[A]

The Muppets, I believe. Rolf the dog.

[B]

Oh, that was the Muppets big debut in network television.

[A]

That's exactly right.

[B]

The dog. And he became kind of a lesser figure in the Muppet world.

[D]

Ralph the dog.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

I would say he was a fixture for sure.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But.

[C]

But he was not. He didn't have main character energy.

[B]

He didn't have that.

[A]

He didn't have big Muppet energy.

[B]

He wasn't Big Bird, big dog energy.

[A]

Although it was Henson who was doing Ralph the Dog. Yeah, yeah.

[D]

They're offering tours now at the Henson Puppet Factory.

[C]

I'd love it.

[D]

Yeah. I thought of you when I saw the story.

[A]

I thought, man, that's a movie waiting.

[C]

I wanted to be a puppeteer for a haunted Muppet.

[A]

So did I.

[C]

Had no idea how to get into it, so I just went, well, you didn't have a sock. Oh, I had puppets. Yeah, I had puppets.

[A]

Hang on a second. How dare you belittle our dream of being a puppet man.

[C]

I had Crunchy the sock. Not again, Josh.

[D]

Wait a second.

[A]

I can't.

[B]

I hate this.

[A]

I'm choking on it.

[B]

Godwin's brother is a very good puppeteer.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

He's been on Broadway and he's. He's worked with Henson and the whole thing. His brother James. Speaking of Pat, right now, as we speak, he's on the operating table, probably having just a glorious sleep.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Don't you think right about now?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Michael Jackson had the right idea there.

[A]

Yeah. He got a good night's sleep in the beginning there.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

That'll detach his arm completely. To fix. Get in there and then put it back on.

[A]

Well, that's the only way you get it right.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Yeah. Well, that's the tricky part of the operation.

[B]

Make sure you don't mix them up, you know, you don't know. How are things going? Great.

[A]

Yeah. That has two thumbs.

[B]

Never mind. Coming up, comedian Bill Engvall. Coming up, Ryan Martin, known as Dr. Buckets.

[A]

Yes, sir.

[B]

Perhaps the greatest basketball shooter in history.

[A]

Amazing.

[B]

He's worked. He worked on a new world record over the weekend. Did he make it? We'll find out from the NBA level. Three pointer, 24 hours worth of shooting. How many did he make? And did he break the world record? This is a guy who has the world record for the most half court shots in an hour. That was something like 230 or something. It's amazing. This guy's an incredible shot. We're gonna talk to him.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

One of my personal heroes, along with David. David Rush, he's Dr. Buckets.

[A]

Oh, now he's a personal hero.

[B]

Oh, okay. The man's a really. We'll be doing that from here. The O'Reilly Auto Part Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show. Got a comment to share?

[A]

Text us at 888-262-8661. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Straighten up. I got time to laugh. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee at the news desk.

[D]

Flying right.

[A]

There you go. There's Jeff Oskay.

[C]

Yeah, man, how are you?

[A]

Not, not too bad. There's Josh Arnold.

[C]

I saw bagels. Who brought those in?

[A]

I don't know. There. I think I brought him in.

[C]

Oh, that was nice of you, Tom.

[A]

It's Bagel King. I believe I recognize the cream cheese. There's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick Magee. Hello, Tom.

[C]

Well, thank you for the bagels.

[B]

The king of bagels.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now we were talking about Jimmy Dean, the sausage king. But Mr. Oscar, you were not aware that he had a variety show, but he had a huge hit with the song Big Bad John.

[C]

Yeah, I'd never heard it before.

[B]

It's one of those talk singers. It's a great story. Do you have. Do you have a little bit of it over there?

[A]

I think it's the Jordan Ayers, isn't it, backing them up?

[B]

Big Bad John.

[A]

I believe so.

[C]

That's an important tale. An important tale that needs to be told.

[A]

Actually, we have the. This is an introduction.

[C]

Mr. Randy Watson.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

What was that movie like? Welcome to the Five and Dime. Jimmy Dean.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Remember that?

[D]

Yes.

[C]

What was that? I remember being on HBO when I was a kid and I just remember thinking it was gonna be so boring.

[A]

And I remember someone like, looking back, it's been 30 years since welcome to the Five and Die.

[D]

I'm like, what, 1982?

[A]

I didn't see it the first time. What are you talking about?

[C]

I missed that.

[A]

I missed it totally.

[C]

So how do you get into sausage? Like, and was he into sausage first or was he first musician first? Okay, so maybe he was the George Foreman of his time. Oh, yeah. Somebody. They just went to and who famously

[B]

turned down the George Foreman. Someone approached him.

[C]

Hulk Hogan, wasn't it? Yeah.

[B]

Somebody else was approached.

[A]

Yeah, I think it is in the Hulk Hogan documentary.

[B]

And he turned it down.

[D]

Come Back to the Five and Dime was about James Dean, not Jimmy Da.

[B]

That Eagle song.

[D]

The main story is set in 17.

[B]

I like your sausage Lean.

[D]

It's a group of super fans reunite for the 20th anniversary of the death of James D. Maybe we should all watch it doesn't get very good reviews. 86 shares in it.

[A]

Yeah. There you go. That's all you need to know.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Well, let's head over to the news desk. Christy, what have you got over there?

[D]

A recent survey reveals how many sexual partners the average American has had in their lifetime.

[A]

Can I guess?

[D]

According to bespoke surgical poll of 2,200 people.

[A]

Well, how truthful are they being? You got to take that into consideration.

[D]

Okay. The average lifetime sexual partners number.

[A]

I'm going to say 17.

[D]

Okay. Jeff, you've seen the story.

[C]

Yeah, I know the answer. I'm going to say eight.

[D]

That's the only people that can play 20. Is the number.

[C]

Your closest one going over.

[A]

Thank you. I'm ready to play the YOLO game.

[D]

However, they tell romantic partners they have had closer to nine.

[A]

Whenever I'm asked, I always say five. I think that's. I've always heard that that's the answer you should give. It's not too flashy, but you're. You're not a monk. Okay.

[C]

Are you over. Are you over 100?

[A]

Me?

[D]

Oh, my God,

[A]

no, of course not.

[D]

Are you?

[C]

I'm gonna say no.

[D]

Not Jeff.

[C]

Oh, I'm not even in double digits. I'm. I'm at three because I'm counting your exes.

[A]

Actually, in my defense, unless I was married to you, I didn't have sex with you.

[C]

Yeah. Oh, yes.

[A]

That's what. That's the run I was on. Boy, I broke myself. That. Thank God.

[D]

Nearly three.

[B]

And these are people that are. They're. They're saying this about themselves.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

The accuracy of this is they've already admitted that they're liars.

[D]

Nearly three in 10 respondents admit they have intentionally lowered the number of partners they share with others. So, yeah, we talked about those who intentionally lower their body count are subtracting an average of how many partners.

[C]

There's more than 50%. If they go from 20 to 9.

[A]

30.

[D]

26.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

So wait a minute. So they're saying.

[D]

So if they say 10, they've actually had 36.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Now, Tom, I know that you're a gentleman and you don't like to talk about these things. Things. But did you see him in New York city in the 70s?

[D]

Hell, I didn't need to do that. I saw him in Broad Ripple.

[A]

He had hot and cold running women 24 hours a day, my man.

[C]

Yeah, but could he close the deal you think he closed?

[A]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[D]

All right. Rhode island reported the highest average number of sexual partners at 72.

[B]

Just give the answer.

[D]

52.2.

[C]

This is nothing else to do in Rhode Island. Each other.

[B]

I'm very skeptical of these.

[C]

Who do you think? Do you think guys lie up and women lie down?

[D]

Yes.

[C]

When it comes to numbers, yeah.

[D]

I think.

[B]

I think that women certainly this would indicate that they are. They go down. You don't want to.

[A]

And isn't it sad that the more partners a woman has, the more she's considered.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Promiscuous. And a guy's not.

[C]

I've always felt for women in that respect. I hate it. I don't. I don't like terms like walker and shame.

[B]

And that's.

[C]

And that's.

[B]

And that's. That's a discussion you. You have prior to betting them.

[C]

Oh, what numbers?

[B]

You know, you say prior to hitting on them to go to bed, you say, I think it's a shame that the way you have to lower your number. Hey, hey, hey.

[C]

My secrets are my secrets.

[A]

That's right.

[D]

Highest averages go to.

[A]

As we mentioned, I use the term round healed. I like to know that I'm a man about town.

[D]

Rhode Island, Arkansas, New Hampshire. Now. Now the lowest average. Utah at 9.3 partners followed by.

[B]

That's because they can't drink coffee to get them drunk.

[D]

South Dakota.

[A]

What's happening?

[C]

What?

[D]

Michigan is low. I'm surprised.

[B]

These are ridiculous.

[C]

Well, it's freezing. You don't want to take your clothes off. You know.

[A]

You know, Tom's right. These are ridiculous. Where did we come up with this survey?

[D]

Gee, I don't know.

[C]

I don't. I think if it's an anonymous survey, I bet people are more honest.

[A]

Absolutely.

[C]

They have nothing to lose.

[A]

I think this survey's dead on.

[D]

One in five respondents admitted they have kept a literal list of their sexual partners, whether mentally, physically, or somewhere in the notes app on their phone.

[B]

That, to me, is hilarious.

[A]

20%.

[C]

I've known a couple ladies who do that.

[D]

What?

[C]

Yeah. You did it?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

How did you do it? Writing in, like, my journal. You had a journal of women? No, my life. Oh, okay. Okay.

[D]

And then we had I'm sorry, but

[C]

was one page devoted to a list?

[D]

Wow. And then we had the board. Remember the guy that had written everything on the wall?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

That was. We had that reason.

[C]

Why would you. Why did you decide to make that list? I was bad with names, so in case you went back. Interesting.

[A]

Have you.

[B]

In contemporary tech with contemporary technology. Have you transferred this to your phone?

[C]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

You still have it? Yes. Would you be willing to post a photo of it outside? Is it a scroll? Would anyone, and I'm talking primarily those you've worked with for decades, recognize any of the names?

[D]

I would probably.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, I have no interest in doing that.

[D]

Me either.

[B]

No, I put it on your phone. I guess maybe that's a. More. More for younger folks, I guess. I don't know.

[D]

Is it. I don't know. Does it make some people feel more macho or something if they look at their list and go, oh, look, did

[B]

you have to check it?

[C]

The two I knew were both women and they, like, had, like, little, like, marks next to it, depending on, like,

[A]

oh, size or something.

[C]

No, it was more like if they had a good time or if the, like.

[D]

Range.

[C]

Yeah, they had, like, little codes next to each name as.

[B]

What do you think? I mean, if you've been with. If you've been with three threes, should that count as one nine?

[C]

No, no, I get. I like what you're doing, but. Yeah, but no, the.

[B]

Because obviously you can raise your numbers up if you're sure.

[A]

Yeah, well, that shouldn't be. No, three stays a three, no matter how many sevens you got around it.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I bet threes are better in bed than nines.

[D]

They're rightful threes.

[A]

Threes are into enthusiasm makes.

[C]

That's what I go for. I like it.

[B]

It cost you more on dessert money.

[C]

So you equate numbers with weight?

[A]

Yeah, the lower the number, the fatter the woman.

[B]

Sorry. Coming up, we're gonna talk with Dr. Buckets, the world's greatest.

[A]

No.

[B]

Basketball shooter.

[A]

His T shirt says, one of the world's greatest basketball shooters.

[B]

Yes, he certainly is among the.

[A]

Evidently, he's aware of Reggie and Steph Curry, I think.

[B]

Well, that's also. Comedian Bill Engvall will be joining us today here in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for

[B]

you on our YouTube channel.

[A]

Watch and subscribe. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Yes. Howdy, there's Jeff Hosking.

[C]

Hi, Chick.

[A]

Hi there's. Josh Arnold.

[D]

Hello.

[A]

Hello. There's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick. Pat. On. Pat Godwin on assignment on the.

[B]

On the operating table is what he's on. Hello, Tom right now getting his shoulder operated on. By the way, his.

[D]

Yeah. Dry bar special.

[B]

Dry bar special comes out on Friday, I believe sometime this week.

[C]

Looking forward to it.

[B]

We'll let you know. And he'll be back here. He thinks he'll be back here next Monday. We'll see. Ms. Odit's gonna be a little bit of a difficult recovery. Can't play guitar for a couple of months. Probably he'll have his arm.

[A]

Not gonna feel like I'm in a

[B]

special special sling thing that sticks out from his body.

[C]

But after that he'll be rocking. Yeah, he'll be able to. Pete Townsend. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Identity crisis is the name of his dry bar special. Comes out Friday.

[C]

Nice. Whenever you get surgery on your arm to help play guitar better, it's known as Tommy James surgery.

[B]

Oh, Dr. Shondell, of course.

[A]

No, instead of Tommy John surgery.

[B]

Tommy James and the Shondells.

[A]

John the pitcher for the Doors. Christie.

[C]

I don't even know if Tommy James played guitar. It's the closest musician name I know.

[A]

He had amazing hair.

[D]

Crimson and Clover. One of my favorites.

[A]

No, no, you're right. Crimson and Kroger.

[B]

Yeah, Crimson and Kroger. Now, speaking of musicians, we have a good interesting story in the world of music in which someone got called up from the audience.

[D]

A concert in Sydney, Australia got an unexpected hero when an audience member stepped in to replace a sick, sick pianist. During a performance of Music from La La Land. Composer Justin Hurwitz told the crowd to. The orchestra's keyboardist told the crowd that the orchestra's keyboardist had suddenly fallen ill and asked if there was someone in the audience who could step in. 21 year old sterling NASA volunteered. Despite having to sight read difficult music and improvise at times, NASA successfully performed with the orchestra and earned a standing ovation from the audience. And thanks from Mr. Hurwitz.

[A]

What does the audience know?

[C]

All faked.

[B]

Yeah, that's a great plant.

[C]

Yeah. This was just to get publicity.

[A]

I'm surprised it wasn't Ryan Gosling. Oh, look who's here.

[C]

I enjoyed La La Land.

[D]

I did too.

[A]

I have not seen it yet.

[D]

What?

[A]

Even though I love Ryan and I am, I like the Emma Stone.

[D]

It's fun.

[B]

Well, this is a stage play. What am I?

[C]

It was a movie one. It almost won Best Picture.

[B]

No, I know that, but what I don't Understand? Is this a stage play version of it?

[C]

Oh, it sounds like it's an orchestra doing the soundtrack.

[D]

Soundtrack?

[C]

You know, you'll have your, oh, John Williams tributes.

[D]

But there is. I mean, La La Land has a lot of singing and dancing.

[B]

I saw the movie.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Did you like the. Did you like La La Land as much? Less than or more than west side Story?

[B]

It's in its own category.

[C]

Tom's answer has to be he liked it less than west side Story, loves everything.

[B]

I just can't believe you guys have never heard of the famous story where Pete Townsend in 1973 had to get a drummer up there when Keith Moon collapsed.

[A]

We still haven't heard about it.

[D]

No.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

It's a famous story. A guy from the crowd named Scott Halpin got up there and played drums for the. And I mean, what a cool thing that would be to get up there and your, your heroes, Pete Townsend, Roger Daltrey, John Entwistle are up there and you're playing the drums for him. Well, Keith Moons, they just drag Moon

[C]

off the stage or did they let him sort of be passed out there? He collapsed and so they left him.

[B]

I think they took him probably to a hospital.

[C]

It would have been so much cooler if they just left him there.

[D]

That's rock and roll, man.

[B]

I believe he did the first part of the show and then collapsed. One account suggested he may have been given a horse tranquilizer.

[A]

Well, I mean, Quailude. Yeah.

[C]

Moon didn't like to be sober.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. But so then we had another one of these last year where somebody from the audience got up and when someone from a band collapsed.

[C]

I've got to ask somebody from the Muppets. I've always wondered if Animal was based off Keith Moon.

[A]

Oh, some.

[C]

There's a slight resemblance. And he's just such a madman.

[B]

I've always thought that too. I assume that's a. That's a gift.

[D]

Speaking of music, Ozzy Osbourne will be recreated as a life sized AI powered avatar.

[A]

Can't we just wait? Wait a minute.

[D]

Well, his family announced they've partnered with tech companies Hyperreal and Proto Hologram, or Hologram to create an avatar of the late rocker.

[C]

I think Ozzy would think this was pretty cool. I, I like. I kind of like it.

[D]

Hyper Room or Hyperreal claims the life sized avatar will be a able to have conversations with fans, move, speak and respond as Ozzy would.

[C]

So it's not just on stage and we'll begin.

[B]

It's not just Ozzy singing. You'll be able to.

[C]

That's odd.

[A]

Sounds like money grubbing. Sharon.

[D]

It'll. They will appear on interactive touch screens. That'll be.

[B]

Rest in peace while we cash in on your death. Okay.

[D]

In yet to be disclosed locations in the US And UK later this year,

[C]

I want you guys all to know I've signed contracts with hologram companies for everyone in this building. Even if I go first.

[A]

That's interesting.

[C]

Yeah. My brothers get your hologram.

[A]

That's some good lawyers.

[C]

Oh, man.

[D]

The Guardian reports the announcement was met with backlash from fans who stated what you said. Disrespectful and distasteful.

[A]

Odd.

[C]

I thought it was just gonna be a purely stage thing and. And go out on kind of ethereal and weird and. Yeah.

[D]

Jack Osborne responded to the controversy saying the avatar is, quote, gonna be tasteful.

[C]

Well, sure.

[D]

He added, it's really cool and something I think my dad would be into.

[A]

My mommy's never wrong.

[C]

And Sharon said she's bringing back Ozfest, so. Oh, great. I'm very happy to hear that. I loved Ozfest.

[B]

No, that's cool, man.

[C]

I had some fun times at Ozfest. Yeah.

[D]

So are they gonna bring Ozzy's avatar out to sing during Ozfest?

[C]

I would hope so. Or maybe he could go in between acts or.

[A]

Hello, and welcome to Ozfest. Yes. It doesn't even sound like I am Ozzy Osbourne. Bark at the moon.

[C]

Please behave yourselves.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

And throw your trash in the proper receptacle.

[A]

Think of your neighbors.

[C]

It's wonderful to be here in Nebraska.

[A]

One of my favorite states has always been Idaho.

[C]

One of my favorite states has always been Des Moines.

[A]

There you go, man.

[B]

Well, Sharon Osborne turned him around.

[A]

Don't you dare defend her.

[C]

I have. I don't know enough of. They always seemed loving to me. I don't know.

[B]

Way before she was famous, my sister knew her, and she sorted Ozzy out and got him.

[C]

He sure seemed in love with her.

[B]

Yeah. And because Ozzy was a mess. So she really did get him sorted out. And then, oddly enough, has become famous in her own right. But obviously very bright. It just seems a little weird that. I mean, I don't know, you can interact with it.

[A]

That's awesome.

[B]

Isn't the kiss thing getting ready to start next year with the. The holograms, the kiss avatars? I don't know. Would you want to go see that?

[D]

Nope. Well, kiss in my day.

[B]

Well, we've had. We've had Ozzy. We've had Ozzy here in the studio a couple times. And famously, we were interviewing him on the phone once and it was in the later stages of Ozzy's life and he was having trouble getting the words out. So you guys all ditched me. Yep.

[A]

Well, if you listen to that interview, it was hard not to ditch it.

[B]

So I was struggling, trying to keep going.

[A]

I thought you were doing a wonderful job.

[B]

It was quite hard to understand him.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

However, when the interview was over.

[C]

This is the only time you're upset that nobody else talked during an interview.

[D]

Yeah,

[A]

one and only. You guys want to hold it down?

[B]

The dean took the liberty of taking the actual Ozzy Osbourne audio. This is really Ozzy. And you'll. You'll enjoy. This is a very short little piece featuring the real Ozzy Osbourne, born paparazzi pizza.

[C]

Can I take your order? Yeah,

[A]

I'm in the color. Okay.

[C]

Allow.

[A]

Allow me to go on. And we just got to the mad

[C]

monk meat lover, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Going to about 45 minutes.

[A]

I've always loved cruel, low hanging fruit.

[C]

I don't. You don't treat Aussie that way.

[B]

And I remember the one time he was here and someone knocked on the back door and they wanted to know if Ozzy had left anything in it. He'd left an ashtray full of cigarettes. So that young lady somewhere has a jar with Ozzy's cigarette butts in it.

[C]

Nice.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

So, fans, I forgot to tell you. A few weeks ago, maybe last week, I was in a person's home and they had the beanbag ashtray. I took a picture of it.

[C]

Oh, nice.

[D]

Yes. I couldn't believe it. We had just been talking about them. Yeah.

[C]

And the beanbag aristocrats.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Explain it to me again. It's.

[D]

It's a small bean baggish. And then the top has got like brass of an ashtray. I have a picture of it. I do.

[A]

You guys Remember when McDonald's had ashtrays?

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

With a little M in the middle. Yeah.

[C]

I wonder if you could still get those. I'd love a case of those.

[A]

I would think so.

[B]

Oh, sure. I remember those. Well, you can still smoke in Vegas, right? Yeah. When I was there last time. There are people smoking everywhere.

[D]

Really? I think they have areas of the casino that are smoking. Right. I don't know.

[B]

Maybe they've settled those little tin ashtrays there.

[A]

I love those.

[B]

You do?

[C]

Yeah. The little McDonald's 10 Ashes. Yeah. Those were great.

[A]

Yeah, I know. They sent all this styrofoam McDonald's, the Quarter Pounders and Big Macs. Styrofoam boxes and they switched to paper here, but they sent all the Styrofoam boxes to Spain. I remember. Wow. In Barcelona for the Olympics. They have everywhere with styrofoam boxes.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah. Good to know. Coming up, we're going to talk with Ryan Martin, Button doctor Buckets, one of the finest basketball shooters on earth. We'll certainly look forward to that. Right now, I want to talk to you about American Financing your house. Once again, I've told you this. It's worth a lot more than it was just a few years ago. Most houses have gone up between 40 and 50% in the last five years, maybe doubled in value in the last 10 years. So you're sitting on what could be a lot of extra cash. You don't have to sell your house to take advantage of that. You can do a refi and pull that equity out and at the same time perhaps save some money on your mortgage. The average client at American Financing is saving about 800 bucks a month on that mortgage payment. So see if this suits your situation by giving them a call and checking in with them in about 10 minutes. They have salary based consultants that can walk you through the procedure and this process might help you. So no upfront fees are involved, no pressure. Just check in with american financing.net for more information or call them up. 866-889-2611. Once again, it's american financing.net do a slash, Bob and Tom. So they know that we sent you. That'd be very helpful for us. Once Again, it's American Financing.net NMLS 182334 NMLSConsumerAccess.org APR for rates in the five started 6.327% for well qualified borrowers. Call 866-88-9-2611. For details about credit costs and terms, visit American Financing.net BobandTom Average savings based on borrowers who save over $200.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee at the news desk. Hi, there's Jeff Oscar.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

That's right. There's Josh Arnold. Hi, there's Ace Cosby.

[C]

Hello.

[A]

Pat Godwin on assignment. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.

[B]

And I think we're to be rejoined, if I'm not mistaken, with Dr. Buckets Dr. Buckets, a distinguished basketball shooter. In a matter of moments, I believe we're going to getting the former Mr. Buckets.

[C]

That's what you sound like, producer man.

[B]

Did that come over the radio?

[A]

Oh, yeah, that was our producer.

[B]

I thought that was supposed to just

[C]

be in my headphones while we wait real quick. I splurged the other day. You guys have the. You can get the car wash unlimited.

[D]

Sure, absolutely.

[C]

I finally got it. Yeah, man. 14 times yesterday I went through. After about the seventh time they stopped waving at you. They're just like, oh, okay, come on through.

[B]

Don't think it'd be a fun day to go to all the locations of that place.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And wash your car at each one.

[A]

What?

[D]

Well, there are quite a few.

[A]

You absolutely have thought of that.

[C]

What's the most you've done in one day? Oh, probably four and four different locations.

[B]

Depends if. If your car got all dirty or muddy or whatever. Man. It rained. You want to get rid of the water spots?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I got the. I got the inside. Now where they wipe it out.

[D]

Sure.

[B]

Okay, I think we're ready now. We have. There we go.

[C]

There he is.

[A]

Look at that shirt.

[B]

Hey, Ryan. How are you, sir?

[A]

Hey, good.

[C]

How are you? We didn't know he was good looking too.

[B]

Ryan Martin is a distinguished basketball coach from the great state of Maine. And we spoke to him a couple weeks ago when the Guinness World Record people revisited one of his records. The most basketball half court shots made in one hour. Ryan, what was that number again?

[A]

272.

[B]

And you shot it? I figured it was about 33%.

[A]

Yeah, it was actually exactly 33, I think. Eight hundred and twenty eight shots.

[B]

That's unbelievable. In an hour.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

That is absolutely great. And you've got that world record. But now over the weekend, you did a new world record. Can you tell us about it?

[A]

Yeah. That was the most NBA threes made in 24 hours. So it was like you had to make one every seven seconds was the average. So I made 11,115.

[C]

So you did it.

[B]

What, so you got the record.

[A]

Got the record, yeah.

[C]

Well, congratulations.

[D]

Can you lift your arm over your head now?

[C]

It's pretty bad.

[A]

My wrist is all swollen. That's pretty bad. Wow.

[B]

Well, good for you. Now can you tell us how does it work? Do you have guys feeding you the ball every seven seconds?

[A]

Yeah, so no, because I needed to make one every seven seconds. So I was taking shots faster than that because I shot 79. So I was trying to take shots probably every four or five seconds. Also, I took a couple few minute breaks, too. But, yeah, I had three different groups come in. One group came in for the first seven hours, another camera for the next seven hours. Next seven hours in the last three hours was just a combined effort where everyone was pretty much there for the last three hours. And then the students from my school came in for the last hour.

[C]

Were they cheering or staying silent?

[A]

No, they were cheering. It was loud. It was awesome.

[C]

Oh, good.

[B]

This is great. I just love stuff like this. Our guest is Dr. Buckets. He is Ryan Martin, a distinguished basketball coach and a good player.

[C]

Well, we don't know if he's distinguished. We may have a losing record.

[D]

Oh, geez.

[C]

Why don't we ask the man?

[B]

Ryan, both my parents at one point were teachers, and my mom was a gym teacher, so I have nothing but respect for you.

[C]

I respect him, too, but I respect those with a winning record more.

[B]

How'd your team do last year, Ryan?

[A]

I'm actually. I'm not coaching anymore.

[B]

Oh, see, you made him quit, Josh,

[A]

we were. We had a 500 record.

[B]

Oh.

[D]

He was average.

[C]

I noticed behind you, you have a picture that says in the hoop. And it's a basketball. It's a drawn picture, but, I mean, it looks like a child. Hey, I. Hey. I sent that to him. I'm just glad he hung it up.

[A]

Yeah, one of the students at my school.

[C]

Very cool.

[B]

Now, is it? Did I get this right? You were offered a gig with the Washington Generals to take on the Harlem Globetrotters on a nightly basis?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, that was right when I was done playing professionally in Canada.

[C]

Ryan. Tom cannot believe that.

[B]

How could you turn that down? That's my dream job.

[A]

Yeah, that would have been. I don't know. I would have a hard time letting the Harlem Gold Cars win every game.

[B]

Yeah, I probably would have been the bench. Talk about defeat. Hey, Coach. Coach, we're losing again. For God's sake, put me in.

[C]

Did you get some sleep yesterday, Ryan?

[A]

I laid down. I didn't really sleep that well, but my body's pretty sore. But it definitely felt good. That felt good to lay down.

[B]

Now, were the. Is there someone physically there from Guinness or you just have to set up a bunch of cameras and stuff to get a record?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. They gave you the guidelines to follow. So we had to have three different camera angles. And then. Yeah, there's other things you need to do, too. You need to measure the hoop to make sure it's 10ft. You need to measure the line make sure it's the NBA three point line distance. And you need to measure the psi and all the basketballs that we use too.

[B]

Oh, you don't want to deflate gate thing going on.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Do you shoot from the exact same spot every time or did you mix it up a little bit?

[A]

No, I stayed in the same spot the whole time.

[B]

Where is your spot, may I ask?

[A]

I was pretty top of the key. It was just the easiest,

[B]

you know. Now, how many times did you hit the billboard? The billboard? Sorry, the backboard.

[A]

The backboard. Let's do backboard first. I don't think.

[B]

Yeah, no. Okay, good, good. Okay.

[D]

This is a swisher.

[B]

I'm just asking.

[A]

Well, no, if you hit the backboard, you got to call it.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Gotta say, slop. Yeah.

[B]

Now, is there, is there going to be some way to cash in on this?

[A]

Like monetize it, you mean?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Monetize.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I, I don't, I'm not actually funny. Someone just sent me a text. I haven't even. I just saw it. They said you need to find a way to monetize this. So I don't know. I, I. Right.

[C]

Oh, got a connection issue.

[B]

Oh, nuts. We just, just, just. We got to the money part.

[C]

We lost. That's that public school WI fi.

[D]

Okay, there he is.

[B]

We lost you for a second, Ryan. Now, you just mentioned he was a swisher. Do you think, what's that floor thing called?

[D]

Is that a swifter.

[B]

Yeah. So Swiffer. He'd be the perfect spokesperson.

[D]

The Swisher. Swiffer.

[C]

That's not bad. Cleaning the court before.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. There's your commercial.

[B]

And they just show one three pointer after another.

[C]

Or a mouthwash. You could swish it around.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, we're trying to make you some money here, Ryan.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

Are you still teaching? Have you, have you retired from the, the school life?

[C]

Another communication.

[A]

Two weeks left in school. This, this year.

[B]

I said we lost you there. I'm sorry, what was your answer? It keeps freezing. Oh, I'm sorry. This is no good for us. Once again, we were speaking with Ryan Martin, Dr. Buckets, who just got the new world record. He also has, I should point out, the record for the most free throws in an hour. A staggering 2,494. That is an approved Guinness world record. The most threes in an hour. 15:27. The most NBA threes in an hour. 11:42. And you just heard him say that he has the most NBA 3s in 24 hours. 11,115.

[C]

Crazy.

[B]

The previous record was about 10,703.

[D]

That's great.

[B]

So some amazing records. Ryan, can you hear us again?

[A]

Yeah, I can hear.

[B]

Okay. Is there. Is there another. Is there another record attempt on the way of any sort that you haven't conquered yet?

[A]

I want the most threes and free throws and half court shots made in a minute. Those are my. My next.

[C]

Oh, in a minute, man.

[B]

Well, what. What is the. Do you know the current record?

[A]

It's nine half court shots. It's 33 NBA threes and 67 free throws. Wow.

[B]

In practice. Have you ever beaten any of them? I'm sorry, we just lost you. I said in practice. Have you ever beaten any of those records?

[A]

I've done the threes and I've made. I've made 33.

[B]

Okay. I'm sorry we seem to be having a breakup problem, but. Hey, Ryan, listen, it's been cool talking to you. Congratulations. I hope you figure out a cool way to monetize this.

[A]

Yeah, thanks for having me. Appreciate it.

[B]

Oh, of course. Congratulations. It's a really cool thing you're doing. I think it's great. Well, we really had a great time talking.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Impressive.

[B]

Okay. See you, Ryan. Sorry about the technical issues.

[C]

He seems like a great guy.

[B]

And. And as you pointed out, the super handsome dude. Yeah, that was a little bonus.

[C]

Some guys have all the luck.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And he can shoot a bastion.

[B]

Gosh.

[A]

How about that?

[B]

But those are.

[D]

Some guys have all the fame.

[B]

I know it's radio, but when he held up his arm.

[C]

It looks hurt.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it was really swollen just above the wrist.

[C]

His forearm looks like a bicep. Like it was popeyed out.

[B]

It looked like you when everything kicked in about ninth grade and you saw your first Playboy.

[C]

I mean, people didn't see me for weeks. Came out like a fiddler crab.

[A]

Can't stop. I can't stop.

[B]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

Maybe there's a world record for this. How many shots I get. 30 seconds.

[B]

You got your first three pointer.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Across the bedroom.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Well, actually, this may be the weirdest tie in ever.

[A]

I hit the ceiling with that one.

[B]

Speaking of fiddler crabs, did you just say that at random?

[C]

No, I did. I.

[A]

Because.

[C]

Because they have the one giant claw and then the one tiny.

[B]

We have. We have fiddler crabs in the news.

[C]

What?

[D]

We do?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

As Chick would say, psychic comedy continues.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

The annual spectacle. Remember we talked about this a couple years ago? This is a big deal in Japan at the Miwasaki Coast.

[A]

Who? Wasaki?

[C]

Well, then Iwasaki me pay money.

[A]

And by the way, I can memorize your takeout order. Okay?

[B]

Did I not print this for you, Chris?

[C]

No.

[B]

Well, thousands of fiddler crabs emerge from the burrows.

[C]

Fiddle about, fiddle about.

[B]

In the exposed tidal flats. Did you get any of the video of this?

[C]

Jason?

[B]

This is really something. This happened.

[C]

The one those crabs, Christmas Island. Have you ever seen that? Where the just. It seems like millions take over that.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

The male crabs perform what is described here as a synchronized dance.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Raising and lowering their oversized claws.

[C]

And size really does matter to those crab ladies.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

The bigger the fiddler. Yeah.

[B]

Scientists don't know why the crabs do this dance. They believe it may help attract mates.

[D]

Well, of course. Why else would they do it? And they're not in jazzercise class.

[A]

The bigger the crabs, the more soft they are.

[C]

The bigger that one claw.

[D]

Wouldn't that be funny if there was one lady in the front?

[B]

Because I thought we had the video pincer. I haven't seen that many crabs since Daytona beach, spring break, 1973. Crabs, you see?

[C]

Who's got the truck butter?

[B]

Where's Miss Dirty Leg?

[A]

1973, Miss Dirty Leg. You got a problem?

[B]

No. Coming up, a little bit of history for you. Also a divorce gone wrong.

[C]

What else? They stayed married.

[D]

No, definitely not.

[B]

And therapy donkeys. Therapy donkeys in the news.

[A]

I'm telling you, donkeys are so lovable.

[D]

We had a donkey when I was a little baby kid.

[C]

You did?

[D]

My grandparents had it. Yeah, Jack, it wasn't.

[B]

There's a lot to this.

[D]

I have a picture of me sitting on like two years old, sitting on his back. He's a sweet little donkey.

[B]

You've seen the therapy dogs that they take around to nursing homes and stuff into hospitals. It's great. Same thing. Except they're donkeys.

[C]

Huh.

[B]

A little bit more difficult to take them to a nursing home.

[D]

Well, they have many donkeys.

[C]

My daughter. For their finals, they brought in miniature horse horses for the kids to pet. Look at Jeff's face.

[A]

That was a bad choice.

[C]

Well, I mean, did you make it through your finals without ponies to pound? That has gotten to be a big thing where. Yeah, our kids, they're too stressed out from the tests. Well, then drop out. Yeah. It's high school if you can't make it through that. Not that difficult.

[B]

Maybe we'll get some pictures of the fiddler crabs.

[A]

Can I tell you about Simplisafe, Tom?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

The up to date home security system.

[C]

Will it keep the fiddler crabs away Absolutely.

[A]

I guarantee it. And they will pin you. Don't let a fiddler crab pin to you. It would be bad. Simply Safe has advanced AI alerts US based live agents identify threats on your property and help deter those threats. The intruder never gets inside your house. The crime has stopped before it even starts. That's why I have Simplisafe. And we have it here at the Bob and Tom Studios and SimpliSafe. A bonus. No long term contracts with Simplisafe. No lock ins or hidden cancellation fees. Life happens. And if you need to change things up, no problem. You're not trapped in a contract with Simplisafe. And affordable pricing, monitoring and deterrence plans starting at around a dollar a day. And that is worth the peace of mind knowing you can leave your home for vacation. If you hear a weird noise at night, you are protected. And we've got a special deal for you. We want you to experience the same peace of mind we all do. Which is why we've partnered with SimpliSafe to offer an exclusive discount to Bob and Tom listeners right now. Get 50% off your new system. Just visit simplisafetom.com and boom, half off with Simply Safe. That's simplisafetom.com. there is no safe like Simply Safe.

[B]

Coming up, we have inventions in the news. Very exciting stuff. We have. Do you know who built the first swimming pool at the White House?

[D]

No, who?

[A]

Richard Nixon.

[C]

Hoover.

[B]

No. Nixon famously covered it up and put a bowling alley in.

[A]

Right.

[D]

Truman and Hoover.

[C]

Damned it. Oh yeah, I get him confused.

[A]

Fdr. FDR put a pool in because he could, couldn't swim very well. They couldn't get the chair and the.

[B]

Well, you, you have the right answer but the wrong sentiment and of course the wrong facts. Yes, it is. It is fdr. Well, well, once again, you're my, your favorite president that went by his initials.

[A]

Harry Truman. Ht. No.

[C]

Oh, everybody knows.

[B]

You got, you got your, you got your fdr, you got your jfk, you got your lbj. And LBJ is obviously your favorite. If you're south of the border. LBJ, 40 pesos. We are in.

[A]

I don't get that.

[B]

You see, L means the. And then bj. I'll explain how do. When a man loves a woman very much.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Thanks for listening to the Bob and

[A]

Tom show this morning.

[B]

Catch any part of the show you

[A]

missed later today on our YouTube channel,

[B]

Other University.

[A]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom. Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee at the news desk.

[D]

Hello.

[A]

There's Jeff. Oscar.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Or as I call him, J. O.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

Yeah. There's Josh Arnold. There's Ace Cosby.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

You're stretching out your muscle. Josh, you okay?

[C]

Acting. Oh,

[A]

See, Chrissy was doing some of that in the break room.

[D]

My back is.

[A]

She's got a stitch in her side.

[D]

Yeah. Stitching my back.

[C]

I got a thing right here.

[A]

You know, we could all walk on your back, see if that would help.

[D]

No, it sounds like.

[C]

Tom, we are all due for your idea of having a masseuse.

[D]

Yes, yes.

[A]

Come to the station, buy us a massage.

[C]

Tom.

[B]

Well, the thing would be, you know,

[A]

they've got the massage like Ubers. You can order one and they'll come to the house. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I know the guy that invented that.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

They. We could get a massage table and then we could put the microphone underneath.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, no. I recommend we just let that person go get a massage.

[A]

You'd hear a lot of this. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah,

[B]

I know what I'd hear.

[A]

I. I've completed.

[B]

I would. I would give you. I would give you a list of words you can't use.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

They would include several words that start with a C. Do you.

[D]

Do you get massages?

[B]

Not very often.

[D]

You know, strike me as someone who doesn't like to be touched.

[A]

He needs massage. He needs therapy. He needs a lot of stuff that he's not. He needs to relax.

[B]

I need to win the lottery.

[C]

To win the lottery.

[B]

Okay, it's time now for a little history. Let's get you guys smarter.

[A]

Get us smart.

[B]

Tom, you can be smart, too.

[A]

Okay. Can I guess?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Wendell Wilkie.

[C]

Is Wendell Wilkie in the history. No.

[A]

Is a presidential candidate in there?

[B]

No. The first thing in here. 1835 P.T. barnum.

[D]

Oh, he's a circus guy.

[B]

First tour of the United States.

[A]

There's a soccer ball in every Bennett movie.

[B]

The Greatest show on Earth.

[A]

Incredibly historically accurate. Accurate.

[C]

Yes. Yeah, yeah. He was a swell guy, by all accounts.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Unbelievably wonderful man.

[B]

Some. Very bad.

[D]

That's the elephants.

[B]

Very bad. Very bad elephant story.

[C]

I liked the Greatest Showman more than I thought I was going. I thought I was just gonna be miserable watching it.

[B]

And I love. I loved it, too.

[C]

I actually enjoyed it.

[B]

And he's our best friend, Hugh Jackman.

[A]

I watched it and I did. I did a lot of this. A lot of pausing, a lot of.

[B]

Have you Seen the sheep going to the bathroom? The sheep, Detective?

[D]

No. Have you?

[B]

No. And I was. That was my only thing I wanted to do last weekend.

[A]

And he gets killed right away.

[C]

Well, yeah. My kids told me they solved the case, so they ruined it for me. No point in seeing it now. Yeah, Those punks. Because it is a murder mystery. Spoiler alert.

[B]

Alexander Graham Bell on this date made the first sound transmission in 1875.

[D]

He's in there everywhere.

[C]

It was this.

[A]

It's like a good. Isn't it a good thing his last name wasn't Horowitz. Yeah. Answer the Horowitz there, will you? Or we call it the Bell phone Pack.

[C]

Horowitz.

[A]

The Bell Company.

[B]

There's the Bell Telephone Company.

[A]

Bell Telephone Company.

[C]

I thought I was just named after a southern lady.

[B]

Horowitz the first. The first phone call is very famous. The guy answered, said, I want to talk to you about an extended warranty. No, they didn't. We have.

[A]

Watson, come here. I want.

[B]

I have the recordings right here.

[A]

I really can't hear that.

[C]

Mary had a type of. Everywhere that Mary went, I would get a visa. It's simply the most problematic thing we've absolutely.

[D]

I'm sorry.

[B]

That's Thomas Edison and that isn't Graham Bell.

[A]

Tom is one to say there's no defending that.

[B]

This is like the Die my head. I mixed up Michelangelo and da Vinci. Sorry. Okay, here we go. Here we go. This is on this date in 1896, Guglielmo Marconi patented the radio spinning in his grave.

[D]

And I went to all that trouble

[B]

for this in 1896. And then three weeks later, Casey Casem had his first countdown. And now here's a dedication.

[C]

You know what I just realized when I'm. I am going to be buried. That's what I'd like. When I'm.

[A]

No kidding.

[C]

Yeah. And I'm going to have it so that I'm on some sort of like spit so that I'm constantly spinning in my crate. I wonder if they like it.

[B]

I wonder if they can set you up with it.

[C]

Probably.

[D]

Well, how would you keep it spinning? Your battery's going to run out.

[C]

Or would it be better if I had a crank like this crank that kind of came out of the ground.

[D]

People could spin you.

[C]

Passerbys could spin you. That's probably the better way to do it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, that'd be fun.

[C]

Could you make it? So it also has a place where you put the penny and it stretches the penny as you turn the crack.

[A]

I love those machines.

[C]

And I'm gonna have a recording of a muffled.

[B]

And the first words spoken on the radio.

[A]

First words I spoke in the original funnel.

[B]

Mary had a type of.

[C]

And everywhere that Mary went, I would get a piece of that.

[B]

I mean, just.

[A]

Just filthy.

[C]

It's. He's a child with a noisy toy.

[A]

Yeah, we just heard it and he

[C]

had to hear it again.

[A]

He's just laughing like it's something funny.

[B]

Look at him. Sorry. We discussed this earlier. Fdr, the one of the three famous. I guess. Were there any other three letter presidents? You've got your fdr, your jfk, your lbj. Is that it?

[C]

I mean, that seems to be the top three there with the.

[A]

I don't. I don't.

[B]

Triple H. Not the wrestler, but Hubert Humphrey. But he didn't win.

[A]

No, he.

[C]

What was his middle name?

[D]

Hubert H. Humphrey.

[A]

Henry.

[C]

It really was three H's Humber, wasn't it?

[D]

Huber.

[B]

Hubris.

[A]

You know, it was. Remember the Vikings used to play at Hubert H. Humphrey? Metrodome?

[B]

Oh, on this date in 1935, the great Babe Ruth retired.

[C]

Well, what did FDR do?

[B]

Oh, I'm sorry. He built the first swimming pool inside the White House.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

They won't leave us hanging.

[B]

No, I told you that. Ten minutes get wet. It did. His blanket.

[D]

It's a ratio. Is. Is the H and Hubert.

[A]

Hubert Humphrey. Horatio Humphrey.

[D]

Yes. Hhh.

[A]

Boy elbow.

[B]

Yeah. Before FDR built the swimming pool, he would just use Taft's tub as a lap pool. See? You see, Taft was a big fat guy.

[A]

It was called Taft's tub.

[B]

This is. I don't know if you remember this, Chrissy. You will in 18. Excuse me. 1981, Barbara Walters famously asked Katharine Hepburn what.

[D]

What kind of tree she would be or something. Yeah.

[B]

How did she get away with being well done, Barbara?

[D]

My God.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

What kind of tree would you be?

[A]

Well, actually, she said, what kind of twee would you be?

[D]

I'd be a weeping willow.

[A]

I think they pair that kind of money. She'd be able to pronounce all the consonants. Apparently not.

[B]

What would you be, Josh?

[C]

A cypress.

[D]

Oh, I love those.

[C]

Sometimes they're in lakes and bass tend to congregate around them.

[B]

Oh, nice. I thought you'd say an oak.

[C]

I mean, honestly, I would be a Joshua tree, wouldn't I?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I'd be a weeping willow. I just sway with the birds.

[C]

What Christie just said.

[A]

That's right. I didn't hear it. I didn't care.

[C]

Why? Why oak hard.

[A]

You're trying to tell us you have an Erection.

[B]

Oh, God, I'm sorry. Let's see now. Oh, happy birthday, Martha Washington. By the way, she was not the first first lady, but she was the

[A]

first first lady to have splinters in her mouth. Right?

[B]

They didn't. The term first lady was not used until years later.

[C]

No, I see.

[A]

She had splinters in her hooves.

[B]

Yeah. Now, in 1740. In 1740, the birthday of Marquis de Sade.

[A]

Oh, he was.

[B]

But I think technically it should be pronounced the Marquis de Charde.

[C]

Yes, it should.

[B]

I've seen that singer. That's. That's isn't how you pronounce that in English.

[A]

Is there a better song than Smooth Operator?

[D]

I don't think so.

[C]

The answer is yes. But it's a great song.

[B]

No, great song.

[C]

It's the greatest song ever written.

[A]

But you got to get the right cut. You got to get the one with the long intro.

[D]

I like that one.

[A]

Yeah, you don't want to get the one with a short intro. That one's no good.

[C]

Oh, I also like that there. This is no ordinary love

[A]

that stinks on ice.

[B]

See now, Charlie Watts, the drummer of the Rolling Stones, born on this date in 1941.

[A]

Charlie sound good tonight, ain't he?

[B]

That's a quote from the album. Get your yayas out. Thank you.

[D]

Does it bother you that we know everything you're gonna say before you say it? No.

[B]

No. I think it's interesting. That chick would quote the famous line where Mick Jagger says, I'm quoting you. Charlie's good tonight, ain't he? From the Madison Square Garden concert that has been preserved in history. Whereas he denied that he knew the famous story about the who. And that drummer kid, of course I knew. And then he asked if he was now dead, which he is. Which I could.

[A]

I could start agreeing with everything you say. Right you are, Tom, tell him more. I could do that if you want.

[B]

Happy birthday, Andy Cohen, the gay friend for women shut ins that can't have their real gay friends.

[A]

A true entertainer.

[C]

Guy seems very affable. And what'd he do to you, fellow St. Louis?

[B]

Oh, really?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Can't even do a magic trick.

[B]

He just sits there. That's about it for the interview. This guy's interesting. Zachary Kinto. Oh, he's a Star Trek guy.

[A]

Yeah. Or one of Spock's kids or something.

[B]

Oh, this is good. Fabrizio Moretti. Anybody know Fabio from Melly Vanilli, drummer for the Strokes.

[A]

Oh, same thing.

[B]

I think I'm gonna go see the

[A]

Strokes this summer if you stop saying the Strokes.

[C]

Go get in line.

[D]

Now, when are you going to see them?

[B]

And Red at Red Rocks you will

[A]

be have no trouble getting tickets.

[B]

That is aftermarket stuff.

[C]

I can't see them again. I saw them at a venue called Mississippi Nights in St. Louis and it was. I can't go to a larger place now.

[B]

I saw them at a tiny little venue too.

[C]

Yeah, that's how I want to remember seeing the Strokes.

[B]

The drunkest I've ever seen anyone on stage.

[C]

I'm a big fan, man. I love them.

[A]

So the. So what you remember about the Strokes in concert was the lead singer was

[B]

drunk on stage, the roadies had to come out and try to find the microphone.

[A]

Now, albeit, that is, he dropped. That certainly is.

[C]

I saw that happened at a Stevie

[A]

wondercom apart part of rock and roll, certainly. But don't you think they should get down to making music?

[B]

Oh, the music was great too, but about three quarters of the way in. Anyone who's at the same show will remember. I'm not kidding. It was a great show. I understand he's sobered up quite a bit.

[A]

I've never tried to like a group more than I've tried to like the Strokes.

[C]

Oh, they didn't take.

[A]

I can't do it.

[C]

That's okay.

[A]

I like them.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Okay, now I listen to them and my left side goes numb.

[B]

Coming up, comedian Bill Engvall will be joining us. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Add to or continue the conversation. Check out the Bob and Tom show on Facebook.

[A]

Get the [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[B]

Steak.

[A]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios.

[D]

We're professional. Brock.

[A]

There's Christy Lee. Here's Javasque.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

That's right, man. Doing the jazz thing. There's, there's Josh Arnold.

[C]

How we doing? Nighthawks.

[A]

Yeah. There's Ace Cosby. I am Chick. Hello, Tom.

[B]

A little side from Niles.

[C]

If he sounds kind of blue.

[A]

Yeah. It's because he's kind of.

[C]

That was from kind of.

[A]

Yeah. What movie? It's got to be the thing you do where Glenn Howard goes.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Dj. Yeah. They go and promote their album because.

[D]

Yeah, that's a great movie.

[C]

That is a gem.

[D]

So fun.

[B]

Christy Lee is at the Bob and Tom news desk. What's. What's happening over there?

[D]

Well, this is a sad story in a way. 48 year old Eric Peraza, his wife told Him. Their marriage was over. Recently, she'd filed for divorce. She didn't exactly expect the positive reaction, but she also didn't expect him to literally bring the house down. Yes. After a night of drinking, the man, using a construction excavator, partially demolished his own property, took off the whole back. If you haven't seen this, this. This is pretty amazing.

[C]

Look at that.

[A]

Whoa.

[D]

Look at that. Yeah.

[B]

And am I correct in saying other soon to be ex wife and kids were in the house?

[D]

Other family members were inside the home at the time. The Pennsylvania man is now facing charges for trying to destroy his home with the excavator.

[C]

I mean, it's just a. The covered porch. Yeah.

[D]

He was a. Charged with recklessly endangering another person, creating a catastrophe and disorderly conduct.

[A]

Creating a catastrophe.

[C]

Boy, wouldn't I love to have that on my record. Wouldn't that be great?

[A]

Josh. Hi. Thanks for coming in. Now, it says here that you created a catastrophe back in 2026.

[C]

That's right.

[D]

That's a category, apparently in Pennsylvania. Yeah. I don't know if it's.

[B]

He wanted. He wanted a trial separation. He was going to begin by separating the porch from the house, separating the library.

[A]

You know, that's. I've been that angry, but I've never acted on it. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. There's a fine line, isn't there?

[A]

Holy heck.

[B]

Drunk and operating a.

[D]

Where do you get an excavator?

[C]

Oh, you can rent one. I can have you one here in

[B]

an hour and a half.

[C]

Chrissy.

[D]

Really?

[A]

Absolutely.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Let's get drunk and drive it around.

[A]

We'll do shots in the bucket.

[D]

Cause a catastrophe.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Yes. Yeah.

[B]

Talk about a home wrecker. You see the hood?

[C]

Me and my backhoe will show this hoe.

[B]

Huh?

[C]

Yeah. What are you gonna do with that? Yeah.

[A]

There's no coming back.

[B]

He probably didn't put it together that he's gonna still have keeping. You got to keep making the payments.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

You're not divorced yet.

[C]

I hope he gets the house on the divorce. He has to deal with that.

[B]

Either way, those payments aren't gonna. They're not going to go away.

[D]

Maybe they're going to start dating again. We have new dating trends out there. Have you heard about this? There are new terms to describe the current landscape of modern dating according to USA Today. One is ghost lighting.

[C]

Ghost lighting. We know ghosting.

[D]

Yes. Ghost lighting is a portmanteau of ghosting and gaslighting. Ghost lighters drop all communication only to reinitiate contact later, often without any Accountability. As if nothing ever happened.

[C]

Yeah, I see. So you ghost somebody, meaning you cut off all contact, you don't reply, and then a few months later you just. Hey, so you want to go get lunch?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

That's dirt baggy.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

What are you talking about? Everything's fine. What are you talking about?

[C]

I've done it in my past. I've done it. Yep.

[B]

But where's the gaslighting aspect of it

[A]

where you tell them nothing happened? What's your problem?

[C]

You act like.

[B]

Yeah, you know, as a. Gaslighting means you're. You're saying that they are inferior and you're trying to cut.

[C]

No, that's not. Gaslighting is.

[D]

No, no.

[C]

Whatever it is, they're saying you kind of go, no, no, that's not what really happened.

[A]

That's not what happened.

[C]

So this is denying that you ever ghosted them? In a way.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[D]

Yeah. Another term cropping up on social media is wild flowering. You want to take a stab at that one?

[B]

Deflowering them in the woods.

[C]

Is that it?

[A]

Okay, I have a. It's listening to Tom Petty's least favorite album.

[D]

No, no. It's often associated with dating freely, taking things slowly, embracing spontaneity and allowing a relationship to bloom organically.

[C]

You know what this sounds. This is. I've also done this. So are we. What are we. Are we boyfriend and girlfriend? We are wildflowering. We are letting things grow organically. No reason to label anything dear.

[D]

One criticism of wildflowering is that if taken too far, it can become an excuse to avoid commitment.

[C]

That's right.

[D]

What should happen? Showed us an example of or clear communication. Supporters argue that simply a healthier way to date without any. Any unnecessary pressure.

[C]

Honestly, I totally get that and agree with that, but I could see where this would drive some people crazy. You just don't want to commit. All right, let's move on. I'm getting the. I guess the heebie jeebies.

[B]

Ghost. What is it ghost lighting?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

We were talking about wildflower.

[C]

We'll never have to use these terms. These are social media. Younger people.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, do I. I don't believe anyone uses them at all.

[D]

Oh, I. I believe.

[C]

I mean, I don't think they're.

[B]

Hey, were you ghost lit? What? Okay. It's too confusing. I don't know.

[C]

I feel like Christy told us the word. We even gave examples of it.

[B]

My prom date D. 30 years ago.

[A]

I saw her.

[B]

It was like she was a ghost lit. Was I? Once again, she's dead.

[C]

You chose. You know what? In this case, it's not that you weren't listening. You. You simply chose not.

[B]

That's correct. We have more words we have to learn.

[D]

New phrases from The Cambridge Dictionary. 2026.

[C]

I like these.

[D]

They've updated their database. Three new phrases for us. Dusking. Do you know what that is?

[A]

I don't.

[D]

Practice of watching daylight turn to darkness is a form of relaxation.

[B]

Watching the sunset. I think it's got a new definition.

[C]

Dusky.

[A]

Wait a minute. That sounds kind of nice. It does. But watching a sunset?

[D]

Yes.

[C]

When this isn't a new concept at all.

[B]

We don't need a word.

[D]

How about cozy cardio?

[C]

What's that?

[D]

Gentle cardio exercise done in a relaxing, comfortable place as a way to enhance wellness rather than to increase fitness. Okay, I need an example.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. What would it be?

[A]

What is it?

[D]

What is cozy cardio?

[B]

Eating potato chips with the stereo on. I don't know.

[D]

Well, that wouldn't be a cardio exercise.

[C]

Laying back your lazy boy multiple times.

[A]

I can't help but think you're trying to say something else, Tom.

[B]

I'm saying no one has ever used this word in their life.

[D]

Would it be just sounds like some stroll down the nature path or something? Or.

[C]

I typed in cozy cardio example, but I'm waiting for the Internet to click on.

[D]

Yeah, we're having some Internet trouble here today, apparently. Hot span.

[C]

P, A, N. Yep.

[B]

Hot what?

[D]

Hot span.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You're having a great time with the ladies? Unexpectedly.

[D]

Nope.

[C]

Is that the. What they call the thigh gap?

[D]

Nope.

[C]

And she had a nice hot span.

[A]

I might have called it factory air.

[D]

Yeah, no, this is the number of years that you can expect to remain both healthy and physically attractive in your life.

[C]

Oh, okay. So that's their hot span. That's the span of time where they are hot.

[D]

Yeah. We've all missed ours.

[C]

I don't think so.

[A]

We're out of ours.

[C]

Okay, well, I think I'm hotter now than I was when I was 35. Yeah, that's right.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know.

[D]

You were pretty hot.

[C]

But you once called me a three. Do you remember that? But it was on a scale of one to four.

[D]

Yeah, thank you.

[C]

No, it was not, Christy.

[D]

Well, now you're a nine.

[A]

A three. Well, now. No. Now you're a liar. My God, woman.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[B]

So.

[D]

No, no, no.

[C]

You're cozy cardio. Here's an example. Watching a movie while you're walking on the treadmill.

[D]

Oh, okay. I can see again.

[B]

No one's ever Going to use that phrase?

[D]

No.

[C]

Apparently it's quite popular on TikTok. So we. Again, yeah, you're right. We wouldn't be aware.

[D]

Does anyone in here have a TikTok account?

[A]

You do. I don't.

[D]

Jeff does.

[C]

China's got enough of my influence.

[D]

Yeah. I tried like for a minute and I was like, this will waste my life.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Coming up, we're gonna hook up with comedian Bill Engvall in a matter of, in a matter of moments. I look, certainly, look forward to that right now. I want to remind you, Father's Day, it's coming up and we had so much, so much good luck with the aura frame for Mother's Day. We were actually getting fan letters. The aura frame is a really cool device. It looks like a picture frame and inside it the pictures rotate electronically. You can put as many photos as you want. You can preload it with as many photos and videos as you like. There's an aura frame right behind.

[D]

Oh, there was one of your two best friends, Hugh Jackman and Pat Godwin, but now it's Chick and the pope. And the pope or something.

[A]

Oh, and me and Washington football in

[C]

a very fat tom. Well, you need to talk more about when you were fat.

[A]

He was really low dressed as the pope there.

[C]

Two popes, I think. Yeah, that's right.

[A]

You got a real belly there.

[C]

How does he get away with being fat?

[A]

He just. Well, that's when he called me fat all the time.

[C]

What was that about?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Look at that picture right there. Oh, you just missed it. The point is the aura frame a U R A. How about that is a great gift for Father's Day. You can add photos anywhere, anytime. You don't have to be with the frame to do it. So you can give it to your dad if he lives in a different state. You can send him some cool photos all the time. Moms and dads love these. I do too. Download the free Aura app and text photos straight to the frame, wherever you might be. By the way, it's a top rated app once again named number one by wire cutter. And again you get all the information about it if you go to auraframes.com and again it's a U R. Aura makes it easy to shop for dads this time of year. Number one by wirecutter. Like I said, for a limited time, Bob and Tom show listeners get 35 bucks off select frames with the code Tom. That's a U R A frames dot com. The promo code. My name Tom. Support us by mentioning the Bob and Tom showing you checkout, if you will. It is a terrific gift.

[C]

We're taking away your access to it. I mean, there are photos of just nothing.

[A]

Yeah, they're really hard.

[B]

Hooker, I think did that.

[C]

Not that of that one.

[A]

I. It's the. The weird photos are all you. Well, here's a picture of some stray.

[C]

I mean, some of them are just like the floor.

[A]

Yes, that's one of your floor.

[B]

There's a skinny chick with the porno mustache.

[A]

Oh, come on, Tom.

[B]

I didn't put that up there.

[A]

You let me put the mustache.

[B]

You guys just get the code. You can add any pictures you want.

[C]

I do. I've had the code before. You had the code.

[B]

What'd you put on there?

[C]

There are some gravy photos.

[D]

Yes, there are.

[B]

Your little kitty gravy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That's very nice. Coming up, we're going to talk with comedian Bill Engvall.

[C]

I'll not be submissive.

[B]

When we return. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee at the news. Tess.

[D]

Hi.

[A]

There's Jeff. Oscar. Let's go, let's go. There's Josh Arnold.

[C]

Hi.

[A]

There's Ace Cosby.

[C]

I'm ready. Boy, these gentlemen are set.

[A]

Chick. Hello, Tom.

[B]

Hello, Chick Magade. Once again, we had a news story about a guy at a show. The. The was the piano player or something got sick and they. The guy, they said, can anyone in the audience play? And he gets up there and saves the day.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Which reminded me of the famous story of the who where Keith Moon passed out.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Did you know this?

[D]

What?

[B]

In 1985, the Johnny Carson show, the guest that they had scheduled hurt his hand and Carson said, is there anybody in the audience that can play the piano? Can anybody play piano? Remember this story?

[D]

No.

[B]

A guy named David Toiley, wearing a T shirt and flip flops went up and played Memory from Cats and launched a music career.

[C]

Huh?

[A]

No kidding.

[B]

I've seen the video. He's great. He gets up there. He really nails it. So there you go.

[C]

Josh, if there was a comic who was halfway through a set and he got sick and needed someone to come up and cover for him, is there a comic that you know well enough that you could go up and finish his set for him? His set or her set? Right. Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Greg Warren, maybe.

[C]

But Greg turns his act over so quickly that I. I could do some of the greatest hits. Of Greg. God, when I could maybe, you know, Jeff, I don't think I could do yours. I don't know all your material, but like, you know enough. You could do like 20 minutes to close out the show. Right? But I. Yeah, yeah, I guess I would say mine. I could do Mitch Hedberg, but he's. Oh, okay.

[B]

Well, you know, that's what Bur Bigs had to do.

[C]

That or Mitch Hedberg.

[B]

Mike Birbiglia was working with Mitch and Mitch halfway through the set, had to. Got off, had an issue and Mike

[C]

went up and finished his set.

[B]

He joked and then he. Mike did some material waiting and then Mitch came back up on stage.

[C]

Oh, yeah, he didn't do Mitch's acting. Oh, okay.

[B]

Yeah, he. He was standing. He was standing by by chance and got up there and did that. Is that.

[C]

Is that the day you fell in love with Mike Rubickley?

[B]

Oh, I love Michael.

[C]

No, I know, but you are. You do have gay feelings.

[B]

He's got. He's got dreamy eyes.

[C]

He does. He's not wrong. No, he's. Yeah, he's a good looking guy.

[A]

You've noticed.

[B]

Now, Christy, why don't you do a news story while we wait for Bill here?

[D]

Patients at a French mental health hospital are finding.

[C]

Why is that? Why ain't. There's something about that. That's very funny.

[D]

They're finding help through the facility's therapy, donkeys. Staff at the Villa Hospital say that while more research is needed, the animal therapy program appears to help improve emotional regulation, communication, social interaction and self esteem. Participants are usually paired with a donkey, Nono Pitou, Oscar, Manalo, or Malraux, who then walk around with and care for them during specific sessions.

[C]

Those are all characters from Les Mis, are they? I have no idea.

[D]

Oh, I believed you.

[A]

I would have said Tom, Jerry, Groucho and Harpo.

[D]

The program has also expanded to include guinea pigs, chickens, doves, goats, turtles and rabbits. Healthcare providers say they're seeing the improvements that animal therapy is having on their patients.

[B]

Makes sense, right?

[C]

Yeah, it does make sense.

[B]

You spend some time around a. J. Jackass, you start feeling good.

[C]

I don't know. I tend to get worse.

[D]

I'd rather spend time with animals than most people.

[C]

Do they not have dogs over? Like, isn't there an easier animal to tout around the. The hospital than a. Yeah, I think

[A]

there's a video right now of a golden retriever going up and down the aisle of an airplane and everybody's petting him. Oh, that's nice. He's never Been happier. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And they're all, you know, chilling out.

[B]

I think it's great. It's animal therapy. It just makes sense. I, I don't get the, you know, yoga with snakes thing that we had

[A]

that story and did we have yoga with snakes?

[C]

We've had all kinds of animals with

[B]

it, but I think it started with goats.

[D]

Puppies.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I remember yoga with puppies. That's going to mean a lot of urine and poop.

[C]

Still went way better than the bear yoga.

[A]

Yeah, Yeah.

[C]

A couple missing limbs there.

[A]

Scat is much bigger.

[D]

A barber shop in West Hollywood, California, is combining haircuts and therapy to offer fabulous hairby.

[C]

Are there hairstylists in West Hollywood?

[A]

I think there might be. Over there. Barney's Beanery. I think.

[D]

Spike Eldib, a barber at Entourage, told CBSLA that sometimes the barber's chair feels more like a therapy couch, with regular customers opening up, talking, and asking for advice.

[A]

I think that does that.

[B]

That's universally true, though.

[D]

Women do it all the time.

[C]

I don't want any chatter when I'm getting my haircut. Really? No talking at all?

[B]

Really?

[C]

Pay attention. Pay attention to what? Ask me any questions. Nothing.

[D]

I've been going to the same massage therapist for over 30 years, and she just, she, well, 10 years ago, she got certified as a therapist.

[C]

Wow.

[D]

So now I get double duty. It's great. So I can talk while I'm being massaged. It's awesome.

[C]

Way to ruin your massage.

[D]

I knew you were gonna say that.

[B]

What about. I mean, I, I, for example, I think sometimes, especially you'll have some elderly lady or gent that the only person they get to talk to is the person cutting their hair.

[D]

Of course. That's ad.

[B]

Well, that's, I'm sorry, Josh.

[A]

I know that you cripplingly sad.

[B]

You walk in and get all bossy and cut my hair.

[C]

Do you talk when you get your hair cut? I mean, I, I, I mean, of course he does 30 seconds, but you probably, probably don't even have. You sit. Yeah.

[D]

And then you're.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, you're done. I'm gonna, I'm gonna charge you full.

[B]

All right, so welcome to the new podcast, the Pot Calling the Kettle Black.

[C]

He's not wrong. My haircuts are about four minutes.

[B]

But I think a lot of, a lot of people that cut hair. That's really part of the. Yes, I think part of the appeal isn't necessarily how great the hair is done. It's the conversation.

[D]

And, and it makes it harder to break up with your. There. With your hair stylist, too, because you become such, you know, close friends and do you think.

[A]

Do you think hairstylists hear more? Masseuses hear more on a therapy level, or prostitutes here more? Huh?

[D]

That's a good question. I'm gonna go with hairstylists.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Spike recently decided to formalize the supportive conversations that have long been happening in barbershops and launched Hairby.

[C]

Spike has to be an ironic name for a West Hollywood hairstylist.

[D]

Many barbers and entourage are now being counseled.

[A]

My. My partner Fist and I were talking about this, and he was noticing the same thing.

[D]

They're being counseled on intentional listening with the hope of helping men overcome mental health barriers and support from barbers that they trust.

[B]

Don't you think?

[A]

Intentional listening to us.

[B]

If therapy was done with something, if they paired it with something a little more masculine, like you go to a therapist and you chop wood together.

[C]

Oh, that'd be cool.

[B]

I mean, I'm not joking.

[C]

No. I think that would help.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. You guys, apparently none of you have ever chopped wood. It's a hard.

[A]

No. It does suck.

[B]

Yeah. But I get you're doing something manly.

[C]

Right? Right? It is hard.

[D]

It is very hard.

[C]

But it's. It's. I get that.

[B]

As opposed to a guy running his hands through your hair and saying, jeffrey, you have dreamy eyes. What's underneath that beard?

[D]

How do you know that's what he's saying?

[C]

It's what he's saying. That's what I pay for. Will you let a guy cut your hair? No. Yeah, same.

[A]

No. Really?

[C]

Yeah. I won't have it.

[D]

Come on, you guys.

[C]

And I'm not particularly homophobic. I just don't.

[B]

Just specifically homophobic, generally. Just in the case of.

[C]

I don't think a man does as good a job. That's why I agree. There's something about it. I don't know. Thanks.

[D]

I have a male hairstylist. He's great.

[C]

No, I know.

[D]

Straight.

[C]

But you're also talking about you're a woman.

[A]

Oh, he's. He's straight.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

I'm not saying I'm right in this. I just don't want a guy. I definitely don't want a guy washing my hair. Same.

[D]

Oh.

[C]

Which is what I'm paying for. There's nothing better than having a woman wash your hair. I'm right. I'm right. I'm right there with you.

[B]

Wait a minute. There is something better. Jeff will tell you about it off the air.

[C]

I don't. The haircut is 10% of the hair visibility.

[A]

I skip the hair wash. What? Each and every time.

[D]

What? I don't know.

[A]

I don't care for it.

[C]

Interesting. Is it because you feel like your collar is getting wet even though it isn't?

[A]

It feels like I don't want to be touched.

[D]

And now they have massage chair. So you're massaged while you're in there getting your hair washed?

[C]

Well, maybe at La Daz, but not this.

[A]

Well, that must be the snooty. You know what I mean?

[B]

But so I'm a little unclear this particular place. Are these licensed therapists and licensed hair people?

[C]

It sounds like maybe they're working on it.

[D]

Are you talking about my hairstylist?

[B]

The new story. It was. What did they call it? Hairy hairpy.

[D]

I don't know that they're licensed, but they're being counseled on intentional listening to help men.

[B]

Okay. Because it would be weird tipping your therapist.

[C]

Oh, yeah, that would be weird.

[B]

That was a good session. By the way. I threw in an extra 25% for you today, Doc.

[A]

Shouldn't there be a haircut place or a therapy place? No. Maybe a spa?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

The Snooty Ant.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Shouldn't there be.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Every now and again, the. The a. The light goes out, so you just see.

[B]

Oh, it's new.

[A]

Very elite. You know what I mean? Kind of like nothing. Bundt cakes, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Sorry to bother you.

[B]

No, I think it's. I'm just curious if these are licensed therapists.

[C]

I think it'd be weird talking about your feelings while they're doing a straight razor shave on your neck.

[D]

Yeah, I don't think you talk guys like.

[C]

Here. I'm gonna do you a favor.

[D]

Yeah?

[C]

Yeah. Nick, you deep. It sounds like things are bad.

[A]

Do therapists have to be licensed or they just. They are just capable of listening and you get along with them or they

[D]

have to be licensed?

[B]

I believe there's a light. I think it probably would depend on the state, like a. I don't think if your barber is prescribing Xanax, it may not be legal.

[D]

Well, that's a psychiatrist. That's a different thing.

[A]

If he can prescribe now, wouldn't you.

[B]

You have a little background in this. Aren't a lot of barbershops? Especially back in the day? Wasn't there a lot of gambling and stuff going on?

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Get anything at the barbershop?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Including syphilis? Yeah.

[B]

Okay. We're going to take a short break and come back with comedian Bill Langvall, I've just been given the signal.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

So we certainly will look forward to that. And right now I'll remind you about Brick House. Thank you very much. Brick House nutrition, it's mighty, mighty. I'm gonna let it all hang out. Brick House is actually, but not as

[A]

much as there was hanging out.

[B]

Brick House is all about physicians and they have worked on a special project called Lean. And the idea of lean is it's not a, it's not an injectable. Lean is a special weight loss supplement and it's designed for those that want to lose 10 pounds or more. So it's not for the casual losing of a pound or two. It's designed to burn fat. Lean is designed to curb your appetite and curb those cravings so you're not as hungry and lean as part of an exercise and dietary program. Find out about it by visiting takelean.com and by the way, you can get 20% off if you mention my name. The code is Tom. Once again, it's takelean.com 20% off with free rush shipping. So you can find out what Brickhouse Nutrition has going on in the world of weight loss. Lean. It's a healthy weight loss program. It is not an injectable, once again, designed to reduce your cravings, et cetera, et cetera. Takelean.com, the code is Tom Weight Loss. Results will vary, of course. These products and statements have not been evaluated by the fda. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease or condition. If you're interested, find out more [e-mail] these are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. We're coming back with Bill Engvall. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

This is the Bob and Tom Show. Reach us toll free at 1am 888.

[B]

Bob.

[A]

Tom1 or@bob and tom.com this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[C]

Ah, your mic wasn't even on.

[A]

Welcome back.

[B]

Well, I'm trying to deal with a technical issue show.

[A]

We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Chrissy Lee at the news desk.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

There's Jeff. Oscar, what's up, sir? Being all Oscar. There's, there's Josh Arnold. There's Ace Cosby, slings and arrows dealing

[D]

with a technical issue. What? Your tea wouldn't work.

[B]

I'm might be what it is.

[A]

Yeah, you know, he's. I had to do this tea. Well, I'll, I get around to being on the show here in a minute. Go ahead. You're on.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Opine.

[A]

What happened to Bill Engvall?

[B]

We have a technical issue.

[A]

What did you do? We have make a match.

[D]

No.

[C]

Why'd you piss off Bill Hankville? He's a nice guy. He's hard to make mad.

[B]

You beat everything. Let's see. No, I did nothing.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

We have a. We have a Internet issue of some sort.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

So we will talk to him Thursday. We've moved it to Thursday.

[A]

Gotta pay the bill.

[B]

Fortunately, we were able to get Dr. Buckets in. For those of you that missed it, it'll be probably getting millions of hits on the various Bob and Tom social media pages. Dr. Buckets once again set the new world record for the most three pointers. NBA three pointers. And broke his arm in 24 hours. It's a staggering feat. I would tell you the stats, but I misplaced them all trying to do something else. I was expecting other things to be happening at this point in the program.

[C]

Sure, sure.

[B]

Excuses are your own, Christina.

[A]

The last person you can blame is yourself. Because you're doing the work. Nobody's gonna outwork you down.

[B]

Yeah, I. I can mention that Bill Engville will be in Louisville.

[C]

Nice.

[B]

Coming up Friday, June 26th, he's going to be in Modesto. Sunday, June 14th.

[C]

Where's that? California.

[B]

Oh, beautiful Modesto. But right now we're going to check in with Christy Lee. She's over at the news desk. What have we missed, Christy?

[D]

Taylor Swift is dropping a new song for the upcoming Toy Story 5 movie.

[B]

I should pick it up.

[D]

Your kids will be really happy.

[A]

The new song does not care for the term dropping.

[D]

I don't care.

[A]

I know.

[B]

It's so insider. Hippie.

[D]

No, it's what everybody says.

[A]

Everybody knows what everyone says. Stop being insider.

[C]

It is an industry term, but it's become widespread.

[A]

Yes, absolutely.

[B]

How about that's being released the new song.

[D]

I knew it. I knew you will land this Friday. Fans speculated a Swift Toy Story collaboration was in the works after the singer known for leaving Easter eggs hired a possible and or hinted at a possible announcement recently.

[A]

Does it with a vampire accent.

[D]

Oh, that's neat.

[A]

I knew it was you. I knew you. You tell me.

[C]

I had a mouthful of coffee.

[A]

Wouldn't be big a big hit. It's silly.

[C]

I can explicably.

[B]

I think it'd be cool to have a vampire in Toy Story Story though. Little toy. Little toy vampire.

[C]

But there really wasn't a famous vampire toy, was there? Unfortunately.

[B]

You could invent one.

[A]

Did you See the. Did you see the trailer where Wallace. What's the guy? Sean Dinosaur. He says the kid gets a iPad and he goes extinction. Not again.

[B]

Oh, that's.

[A]

Yeah, that's brilliant.

[B]

Okay, Here we go. Dr. Buckets.

[C]

Oh, boy.

[D]

Oh my God.

[B]

This is amazing. You saw his arm, it was all swollen.

[A]

Yeah, he made. I can get my arm swollen like that. I'll just shove it in the car door. And you're gonna go on and on about me.

[B]

In 24 hours he sank 11, 115, three pointers. And you're not impressed?

[A]

No. He wasted time.

[B]

No, he didn't.

[A]

But he could have been helping people. He was helping.

[C]

Who knows how many pickup games he ruined.

[B]

Yeah, by being terrific.

[A]

We can't. We can't let you in the gym. Dr. Buckets is in there bullying the court, feeding his ego.

[B]

Imagine there are quite a few empty courts in Maine this time of year.

[D]

The Louvre announced it has selected the architects that will design the museum's one billion dollar expansion.

[C]

A billion dollars?

[D]

Yep. It includes a new exclusive exhibition space that would allow the crowds to see Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa while skipping the rest of the collection. Where's this at the Louvre in Paris.

[B]

There's so many people go to see it every day.

[D]

They wanted to put it off by itself.

[C]

Yeah, but a billion dollars?

[D]

So that's for the whole thing. They had that issue with security, remember? They have to kind of.

[B]

100 million is for the smoking room.

[D]

A team of French, German and American architects were chosen for the ambitious project which will expand the capacity of the Louvre by 3 million visit visitors a year.

[A]

They are having people just walk off with prized works of art over there.

[C]

I thought the. The new pin the ear on the Van Gogh exhibit was a little tacky for the kids. Yeah. Why are they doing that? Yeah, come on.

[A]

Well, better than pin the year on the Picasso with the year beyond his. Yeah.

[C]

No matter where you put it, you'd win.

[A]

Yeah, so long as it wasn't on

[C]

the side the of of his head.

[A]

The last place you.

[C]

I. I have a conspiracy theory that no one has seen the actual Mona Lisa in about 75 years.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

You think when it was stolen. You think that. I don't even think it's a fake.

[C]

I think I. I just think there's

[B]

no way they is the real one in a vault somewhere.

[A]

Yeah, I. They put the fake one back up. I bet when it was stolen they said we can't have this happen.

[C]

I bet most artwork you see is not.

[D]

No, What? No, I do.

[A]

No, at least 95.

[C]

Because they could easily get away with it.

[A]

95%.

[D]

No.

[A]

You could have stopped, push the Mona Lisa down your pants and walked out with it. It was so small. Right.

[B]

You can't get that close.

[C]

And when you reach a certain status, you. There is another museum that you go and you actually see the real stuff.

[A]

That's right. You know how you get that weird mail every now and then about investing or whatever that you. Yeah, same thing.

[D]

Where is this museum?

[B]

Epstein Island.

[A]

Oh,

[C]

it's since been moved.

[A]

It used to be on Epstein.

[C]

Right, right.

[A]

Look how happy he is you got to mention Epstein again.

[C]

No, there. There's some artwork on Epstein Island. The Blind Faith cover.

[D]

I was gonna.

[C]

There's a whole.

[D]

I was gonna say paint my.

[C]

There's a whole copper tone.

[A]

I was just. The copper tone ads for the year.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Could they do that copper tone thing today?

[C]

The copper tone thing is not sexual at all, of course.

[B]

But I mean, with.

[A]

It's a cute little thing with the right guy. I bet it is.

[C]

Which, I mean. Well, then put that guy down today. No trial, nothing. Oh, there should be a test. Hey, what do you think of that copper tone head? You know, I kind of. You're dead. We do not need you.

[A]

10 lines.

[B]

Lines on a preteen.

[A]

And who is that? Ain't that Jennifer Aniston when she was a kid? Right? The Coppertone.

[C]

Oh, is it really?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, I didn't know.

[B]

That's a lie.

[D]

No, that's not true.

[A]

I have to tell everybody that was a lie.

[B]

I have to. Well, now Humphrey Bogart was the kid in the baby food.

[A]

Oh, I heard that. Yeah.

[C]

Do you guys think there's any possibility that I'm right? That you're not seeing?

[A]

No, I believe you 100%. No, it makes sense. Why take the chance?

[C]

Exactly. There's no reason to take the chance.

[A]

And the average Joe six pack or what's the name? Pierre Wine cooler.

[B]

Oh, yes. Yeah, the famous Pierre Wine cooler.

[A]

You can't tell the difference between the real Mona Lisa and the faux Mona

[D]

Lisa, but you would lose all credibility as your art. As an art museum.

[C]

But they're not. No one will ever find out, right?

[A]

No.

[B]

Someone would leak it.

[D]

Somebody would say, no way.

[C]

Those people are summarily killed.

[B]

Oh. So are you composing a Dan Brown book?

[C]

I think there's more to. I just, like, when celebrities have, like, expensive jewelry, they have fakes made that they wear out. Yeah. I could see them doing the same thing. A lot of things. Yeah. With artwork. The Smithsonian is half fake.

[D]

God, you guys.

[A]

Yeah, and it's okay.

[B]

And this is also true in the NFL.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[B]

Those are the real players. Those aren't the real players. Okay, absolutely.

[C]

Some cases.

[A]

And that's not the real, real spirit of St. Louis.

[C]

You know, there are multiple slightly small world leaders. Like there's not just one Kim Jong Un.

[A]

Oh, there's like five or four of them. Yeah. But there. Those are easy to duplicate.

[B]

You want to expand on that? Or even unfortunately we.

[C]

I should have said macro.

[B]

Yeah, maybe.

[A]

Well, yeah. Do you think Pierre Winecoller can tell the difference?

[C]

Or I. You know what?

[A]

There's a real macro.

[C]

Do you think there really is a good chance that there are three Putin's? I do.

[A]

I. Absolutely. Yes.

[D]

So are you the fake chick McGee?

[A]

No, no, I'm him. Believe me.

[D]

Really?

[A]

Either that or I'm wearing his underwear. Hello.

[C]

No, the fake chick McGee was a 2000 to 2012.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. 2012 passed away.

[C]

And so then you had to come back.

[A]

I had to step back in. I was living fine in Maine with Dr. Buckets. I coached him up well.

[B]

Once again, Dr. Buckets. Should we get talk to him again tomorrow since we can get a better Internet connection?

[A]

I. I can't imagine man be for a little. Leave him alone.

[B]

And again his. His right arm. Arm completely swollen.

[C]

Gigantic. I wonder if that's his whacking arm. We should have asked him.

[A]

Yeah, he looks like the elephant man on that arm.

[C]

You think it was his whacking arm?

[A]

You think he played with himself with that?

[B]

I know that you like to do things that you can relate to. And you see a swollen arm. You think about yourself in the 8th grade and then the 9th grade as if you had the 10th grade. Very special summer at the hall. Always camp.

[A]

That what you're telling me? I've never touched my penis. I've never had to.

[B]

You know when they. When the guy from Amazon says I can't believe you're getting more Vaseline.

[A]

This is.

[C]

Shut up, Kurt. Drive your little van

[A]

business.

[B]

We'll hook up with comedian Bill Engvall Thursday instead. We. We'll fix our little problem here. But we can't fix us.

[A]

I'll fix your. You fix your problem. Now light this candle.

[B]

There are certain things we just can't fix. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom show contest rules, go to bobandtom.com contest rules or just scroll down to the bottom of the page and see contest rules.

[A]

This is the Bob and Tom show.

[C]

Full send Golf.

[A]

You guys know how much I really, really love Golf. Full send Golf 2v2.

[C]

Me and VOD versus Big John and Kyle a while.

[B]

Oh, it feels good to be back on the links with the boys. Join the party on the golf course.

[D]

Back to golf in a big way.

[B]

Now what?

[A]

Practice.

[B]

Let's go. Let's hit the range.

[C]

I was like, let's go to the range.

[A]

We are headed to the golf cart, y'.

[C]

All.

[A]

You want to golf with us?

[C]

No.

[D]

You don't play golf?

[A]

No.

[B]

Try. We gotta break par. I'm very, very excited. You excited?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Full send golf. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.