The BOB & TOM Show - June 3, 2026

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show – June 3, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of The BOB & TOM Show delivers the trademark blend of irreverent comedy, conversational “news” segments, oddball discussions, sports, and listener letters. The show covers everything from hospital recovery stories and tattoo mishaps to penile and vaginal health tips as only BOB & TOM can — with plenty of laughter, friendly ribbing, pop culture references, and tangential asides. Jess Hooker joins the usual crew for the later segments, and there’s talk of classic cars, odd lawsuits at Outback Steakhouse, and a sologamist wedding. Not to be missed: digressions about Uber ratings, toothpaste debates, and the Big Bad John song universe.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Pat Godwin’s Rotator Cuff Surgery

• The show opens with updates on Pat Godwin’s recent shoulder surgery, comparing procedures across decades and sharing humorous anecdotes about post-op care (including nerve blockers, ice machines, and limitations on playing guitar).
• (“I had that same surgery almost ten years ago... I think they used a couple of blacksmith tools on me.” – Chick, [04:48])
• Listener letter jokes about “being careful the first time at himself” after shoulder surgery (Steve Austin reference). [07:45]

2. Comedy and Banter: Tattoos, Dressing Left or Right, and Sartorial Legends

• Tattoo MRI issues, barbed wire tattoos, and male “dressing left or right” spark a long riff about men’s underwear habits and a famous Lyndon Johnson tape about pocket sizes for “the long hole and nut sack.” [09:02–11:05]
• Jokes about 24-hour erections: “No, if we pushed it up against our belly, we’d never go anywhere.” – Tom, [09:22]

3. Sports Talk & Classic Songs with Sequels

• Sports news includes Stanley Cup updates, NBA Finals (Knicks vs Spurs), baseball outfield mishaps, and a notorious “off the head” home run.
• A playful exchange on classic “story” songs and sequels (“Big Bad John,” “Cajun Queen,” “Small Sad Sam” and the Motown connection, [24:14, 27:35, 30:46]).
• “You got to have a little bitty in there. It’s different. It’s like Biggie Smalls. Are you big or small?” – Chick, [38:48]

4. Listener Letters: Everyday Life, Toothpaste Debates & Funeral Desires

• Listeners write in about everyday routines, including brushing teeth in the shower and placing toothpaste directly in the mouth—an ongoing BOB & TOM debate. [19:36–21:54]
• Josh’s rotisserie grave idea: he wants to be buried on a spit so visitors can “spin” him posthumously, possibly for charity.
• “I’d be tied to some sort of spit-type device in my grave... so passersby could have me spin in my grave.” – Josh, [48:11]

5. Comedy on Hygiene and Health Advice

• Extended segments on penile reconstruction, foreskin-adding surgeries, and the odd subculture of “DIY” enhancement. (“That thing gets any more sensitive, it’s going to shoot off right now.” – Tom, [18:52])
• “Puslotti’s” and tongue-scraper jokes, blended with real user feedback on toothpaste tactics.
• Hilariously mansplained “vaginal health” segment, complete with groans from Christy Lee as the male hosts try to “educate” the women on changing out of wet swimsuits and the perils of yoga pants. [15:14, 91:29–92:32]
• “We’re going to teach you how to treat your vagina!” – Tom, [15:14]
• “Your vagina is a self-cleaning oven. You don’t need to add anything extra.” – Jess Hooker, [107:00]

6. Uber Ratings, Car Wash Rants, and Blue Antelopes

• Playful comparison of Uber passenger ratings among the cast (“I'm at a 4.96. No big deal,” [40:19]). Tom rages about car wash time limits and windshield cleaner stations at gas stations. [98:21–100:50]
• Discussion of animals being revived from extinction, specifically the “Blue Buck” antelope, and the questionable science and wisdom behind it. [157:24–160:07]

7. Outback Steakhouse Lawsuits

• Extended riff on two separate lawsuits: a woman allegedly slipping on mashed potatoes, and a man whose toilet collapsed beneath him, both at Outback Steakhouse. [146:02–149:16]
• “Don’t step in the mashed potatoes. That’s the lesson here.” – Tom, [149:17]

8. Classic Car Parade and Sologamy

• The world’s largest parade of classic cars on Route 66 is celebrated. [75:28]
• Loneliness, narcissism, and internet culture all mashed together: report of an OnlyFans model marrying herself in a $20k wedding gown (“sologamy”) for $50,000, likely a PR move but played for maximum comic value. [128:11–131:51]
• [Jess]: “She looks gorgeous. That’s borderline AI right there.” [129:42]

9. Rapid-Fire Pop Culture & Nostalgia

• Devo concert review, The Spud Boys, and other classic pop references collide with mentions of the Gong Show, The Monkees’ "monkeemobile," and Beatles trivia. [35:14, 111:53]
• "The Beatles didn’t really have a ‘car’ per se, but on the cover of Abbey Road there is... the fifth Beatle: the Volkswagen Bug." – Tom, [112:09]

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Notable Quotes and Moments

• “Can you make us do that right now?” – Chick egging on Tom about penile sensitivity, [19:08]
• “I take care of all that in my puslati’s class.” – Josh, [22:02]
• “If you hunt and find the toothpaste it will help you hunting and finding other things...” – Tom, [21:56]
• “Is Calcutta even in India?” – Ace, prompting a full table breakdown on Kolkata geography, [67:49]
• “My kids are going to have to put up with it. I'll never not sleep naked.” – Josh, on future parenting, [103:52]
• “Only you would call it a cowboy kit, you effing weirdo.” – Chick to Tom, [60:12]
• “The long hole and nut sack...” – Lyndon Johnson cited by Tom on suit tailoring, [11:03]
• “Are there any great, other great story songs that have a sequel that works?” – Tom, [39:04] (“Snoopy vs the Red Baron”—Chick)

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Highlighted Segments by Timestamp

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|---------| | [04:12]–[05:20] | Pat Godwin’s Shoulder Surgery & Modern Surgery Tangent | | [07:45] | Listener letter: Post-surgery male “self-care” warnings (Steve Austin gag) | | [09:02]–[11:05] | “Dressing left,” tailoring, and the famous Lyndon Johnson tape | | [12:06]–[13:10] | Friendship fix-ups and relationship misadventures | | [15:01] | Preview: "Summer tips for your vagina"—Mansplanation begins | | [18:02]–[19:00] | Foreskin “reconstruction”: weights, pulleys, HBO's John Wilson | | [19:36]–[21:54] | Listener letters: Toothpaste in the mouth, shower brushing | | [22:41]–[24:14] | Listener Stacy’s back-scratching spa pitch | | [27:35]–[38:13] | Big Bad John, Cajun Queen, Small Sad Sam—song sequels and sequels discussion | | [48:11] | Josh’s rotisserie grave: “Spin me in my grave” for charity | | [58:11]–[65:02] | Sports, outfield “off the head” home run, Stanley Cup stats, spurs, and parades | | [75:28]–[78:13] | Route 66 classic car world record: parade details, GTO nostalgia | | [91:29]–[93:05] | Extended “vaginal health” tips, as the men struggle to explain summer hygiene to Christy and Jess | | [98:21]–[100:50] | Car wash time limits and gas station windshield wiper fluid rant | | [146:02]–[149:16] | Outback Steakhouse lawsuits: Slipping in mashed potatoes and toilet collapse | | [157:24]–[160:07] | Reviving the “blue antelope” and science-adjacent skepticism | | [128:11]–[131:51] | Woman marries herself (“sologamy”), influencer culture, and incredulous reactions |

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Summary of Audience Value

This episode is packed with laughter, recurring BOB & TOM themes (cringe-worthy medical stories, weird lawsuits, bodily function humor, genuine interplay with listeners), and classic pop cultural riffs. With some genuinely thoughtful moments about relationships and self-esteem hidden amid the shtick, it’s great for regular listeners and accessible for newcomers who want to experience the show’s balance of odd facts, friendly camaraderie, and relentless joking.

Memorable moments include the “dressing left” debate with its presidential twist, the blow-by-blow of penile and vaginal “reconstruction,” listener rotisserie grave proposals, music nostalgia, and explorations of evolutionary science. All told, it’s a “classic” day in the wordy, pun-filled, raucous Bob and Tom universe.

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Note: Advertisements and sponsor messages have been omitted from this summary.

Transcript

[A]

It's the bob and tom show. Your man, He's Coming for your. He's going to get you. Attacking the weed of. Late at night when the bars are closing. Alcohol takes its toll. And the drinkers need their favorite vendor. A tasty Fritos hostage splendor Little man behind the car Police can't catch him cause he's way too smart.

[B]

The smell of mustard and a big

[A]

umbrel forever hunter man's got the perfect cover. He's coming for you. He's going to get you. Attack of the weed of man. He's coming for you. He's going to get you. Attacking the weed of man. Yeah. He wears off. Patient out in the streets. All the hunters want to sample the beats. He can't help but relish the fact the footlong keeps you coming back. Once you're feeling safe and cool.

[B]

That's when the wiener man makes his move.

[A]

You can't scream when your mouth is full. He's coming for you. He's gonna dance ya talking to wiener. He's coming for you. He's gonna get you. He's coming for you. He's come to get you. Attacking the we of man. He's coming for you. He's going to get you. Attacking the we of man. He's coming for you. He's going to get you. The wiener man attacking the wiener man. The wiener baby attacking the wiener man. Oh, there he goes. Here he comes. There he goes. The wiener man.

[B]

Wiener baby.

[A]

I'm a wiener baby. Hello, friends. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, it's the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the news desk.

[C]

Hello.

[A]

There's Josh Arnold.

[D]

Hi.

[A]

Hi. There's Ace Cosby.

[D]

Hello.

[A]

I'm Chick McGee with what Feels like a piece of sand in my eye. I'll be all right, though. Don't worry. I'll be fine. Hello, Tom. How are you?

[B]

Man, I feel like I've got an alert. Large nail behind my eye, pounding in.

[A]

You've been getting those. You might want to have that take.

[C]

You need a. You had a headache, now CAT scan on that head.

[A]

Yeah, I'm fine.

[C]

How about a CAT scan of CAT scans? How's our patient, Pat?

[B]

Pat is fine. He had shoulder surgery yesterday. I'm not sure if the nerve blockers have. If their powers have faded yet.

[A]

I feel somewhat guilty. I had that same surgery, like almost 10 years ago now. And obviously the game's changed since I had it.

[C]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah. I was horse and buggy. I think they used a couple of blacksmith Tools on me. Oh, yeah. Fix my shoulder. I don't know what. Yeah. And I felt, I, I didn't want to scare Pat, but I wanted to, you know, bust his balls a little bit, but. No, I'm sure he's going to be fine.

[B]

Yeah. He's got some big machine that's circulating cold water. I had near the, near the cast or whatever, or near the decision a sight. I, I assume they just poke a couple holes in you, right?

[C]

I don't know. I haven't had it done.

[A]

They had to poke a hole and they cut my tattoo on my right, my right gun. Oh. And it healed pretty nicely, actually.

[B]

I, One of the most interesting things I've heard lately, I guess it was Josh that was saying, was it if you go for a, Is it an MRI if you've had a fresh tattoo, they can't do it for a while.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. They want to wait a few weeks. That is fresh. Really?

[B]

Is that because is there metal in the ink or something?

[D]

Must be.

[A]

I, I, I don't know about tattoos that extensively, but, yeah, I was, I

[B]

was really surprised to hear that it

[D]

would hurt and that it could affect the tattoo itself.

[A]

Huh. And your arm could fall off.

[D]

Right.

[A]

Or the affected area of the tattoo.

[B]

We do have.

[C]

Maybe it would glow.

[A]

Do you think anybody has a tattoo right on their right on the dork and probably.

[D]

But boy, why would man, anyone agree to do it and absolutely.

[A]

I got this all the way around my gun and that, that kind of pain.

[B]

You. Did you get the barbed wire?

[A]

No, no, I got a.

[B]

Because I think that comes with a membership to my old gym.

[A]

A tribal decoration.

[C]

It was very, very popular thanks to Pam Anderson.

[B]

Is that what that's from?

[A]

That's right.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that over by now, the barbed wire thing?

[A]

Tommy Lee's my hero.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

So I had mayhem written on my stomach.

[C]

Yeah, There you go.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think none of us will forget that.

[C]

Nope.

[A]

Tommy and his dork. I tell you what, we do have

[B]

a back to a pat surgery.

[A]

Yes, Tom.

[B]

Now, the one thing is, we've mentioned that he won't be able to play guitar. It's his right arm, which is his strumming arm, if you will. He plays guitar in the traditional way a right handed man or woman would. But

[A]

want it to be clear, to be crystal clear.

[B]

I mean, it's kind of interesting because. Wow. One tends to be. Is the word dexterous, Josh. With the right hand when you're right handed. But with guitar playing, you're doing a lot of the Work with your left hand. But in any event, he won't be able to strum. So we're going to bring in some guest guitarists to work with him and let him also do some stuff one handed on the piano, which I think will be fun. But I do have this important letter here from Chad, who is someone who has experienced the same particular shoulder surgery. And again, much less invasive than it used to be. I talked to a doctor buddy of mine the other day about it because Pat was about to jump off a building.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So I tried to talk him off the ledge, back into the building itself. The Chad writes, please tell Pat to be careful the first time he's having at himself after the shoulder surgery. Titanium rods and mechanical hardware. He'll tear that thing clean off. Just ask Steve Austin. Yeah, well, do you know Steve Austin?

[C]

Was Christy Lee a six million dollar man?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Heck yeah.

[A]

A story much like that. Our friend Josh, you broke your right wrist.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

When you're so he. You learned.

[D]

I. I learned to go left and I never went back.

[A]

Yeah. During that process, I bet it's helped

[D]

my brain in some way. They say that if you can do different things with different hands.

[A]

Oh yeah, that's right.

[C]

Made you smarter, I bet. So despite what your mom told you. Yeah, exactly.

[D]

I may go blind mom, but I'm gonna get smarter.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

Do you.

[A]

I'll be able to prescribe my own glasses now.

[B]

You know the phrase to dress left?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

I don't think people use that much anymore.

[B]

Well, a lot of these people don't use anymore like their brains, but they're. There's the phrase exists out there, Christy, Are you familiar with that?

[C]

Yes, because I've sat in here a long time.

[A]

Yeah, that's the only reason I know it.

[C]

You know, I didn't grow up around

[B]

what I'm talking about. What it means is that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, walk us through.

[B]

Well, the. The male member tends to take sides. Yeah, it's much like politics at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

[C]

It doesn't just lay flat on your belly.

[B]

I know, I up. I've had Thanksgiving with a bunch of dicks in my life.

[D]

Wait, you think walking around our wieners go up?

[C]

Yeah, you could push it up against your belly.

[A]

That's interesting. No, no. If we push it up against our belly, we'd never go anywhere.

[B]

No, no, it's a hang down there gravity.

[A]

You'd see us humping mantles.

[D]

You know, I don't blame Christy for thinking we have 24 hour erections.

[A]

Y.

[B]

We sure act like that's what's called 10th grade.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, the one tends to dress to.

[C]

Yes. It's going to go one way or the other side.

[A]

Left or dress right.

[B]

Yeah, I. I noticed over the weekend with one particular pair of pants, I seem to be dressing the other way. I'm not sure what that means.

[C]

Maybe they're.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I've never given it much thought.

[D]

No, nor have I. And I. You guys know I am a grower, not a shower.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I. This has never been a worry addressed to the left or right of this.

[B]

Yes. Because when you have to get access, it changes which hand you use.

[D]

Well, you get access in a weird way.

[A]

Yeah. You go through. You use your fly and your underwear.

[C]

Let's face it, you're weird.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I just ask if anybody ever had this, has ever encountered. Anyone has ever encountered the dress left versus dress right dilemma.

[A]

I think the only people that does

[B]

it shift with age.

[A]

The tailor. An actual doing the alterations. Maybe he would mention it.

[B]

Which of course leads to the great.

[C]

Do they leave a little.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Well, there's a famous Linden Lyndon Johnson tape, LBJ Audio.

[B]

I mean, you think the Nixon White House tapes were cool, The LBJ tapes? He was a guy. He was a man of the people. There's a famous tape where he's. Where he's talking about having extra big pockets to hold his pocket knife. And that needs an extra skosh between. Between the legs for the long hole and nut sack.

[A]

Yeah, he's.

[B]

Yeah, those are both in the tape.

[A]

We should.

[B]

We'll have to dig that up if you don't believe me. Coming up, a little bit of a change. Ali brain sexy time. Moving to a special Thursday edition. Bill Engvall will be with our guest tomorrow. We were going to talk to him yesterday. We had a. A technical issue which I believe has been resolved. So we'll get. We'll get that organized. And a bunch of cool stuff coming up in the news, including something we were talking about just a few days ago involving sort of the. The sphere of people that one might be dating and how that might intersect with another sphere in your life. Remember we had the story from Ali Breen about the letter from the. What was it? The. This woman wanted to date her best friend's ex husband.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, there's a survey about that.

[A]

I think a courtesy call. You know, you. You check in with the ex. Hey, I'm going to be doing this

[D]

at the very least. Yeah.

[C]

Away from that.

[B]

Well, we had. There's an interesting survey about that.

[A]

How do you feel about the fix up, Tom? Do you. Have you benefited from a fix up? Do you participate in fixing some people up?

[B]

I have never really been fixed up, but I was part of one once that resulted in a marriage.

[A]

You were helping the couple. Evidently.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then it imploded.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Badly.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

Years later.

[A]

That wasn't the wedding. You and I were sitting next to each other.

[B]

No, no, no, no.

[A]

Ice cream truck rolled up during the vows. That was pretty good. Turkey in the. And Tom starts the shoulder thing. He starts chuckling and I started laughing. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Now we'll get to all this romance coming up. And your letters. We got a bunch of great letters today. I'm very pleased that we'll be reading these. Pleased? His punch. Yeah. But right now, let's talk about all those cameras over there in the hallway and in the front and outside. They're from Simply Safe.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

You know what they're doing.

[A]

Of course they are. That's right, Cameron. They're. They're camera all up and down the hallway. In the United States, there's a break in every 26 seconds. That means somewhere right now an intruder is getting close to your stuff and your compound. Traditional home security only tells you after a break. INS already happened. Talk about closing the barn door. That's too late. Simplisafe change and all that. Using advanced AI alerts. Simply Safe US based on live agents identify threats on your property and help deter them. The intruder never gets into your house. The crime stopped before it even starts. That's why I chose Simplisafe to secure my home and give me peace of mind. And we use it here at the Bob and Tom studios. And also simply say if there's no long term contracts, no lock INS or hidden cancellation fees, life happens. And if you need to change things up, Simplisafe understands no problem. You're not trapped in a contract. And monitoring and deterrence plans start at around a dollar a day. That's worth the peace of mind, the affordable pricing, and you can set it up yourself. I set my Simply Safe up a couple of times in less than a half hour. And you can experience the same peace of mind we do here at the studios and I do at my compound. We have teamed up with Simplisafe to offer this exclusive discount to Bob and Tom show listeners right now. Get 50 off your new Simply Safe system. All you have to do is visit simplisafetom.com one more time. That's half off. Just go to simplisafetom.com and remember, there's no safe like simply safe.

[B]

Coming up today in the Bob and Tom program, Ladies.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

We have summer tips for your vagina.

[A]

Some. Some summertime.

[B]

So this is from qualified physicians. And we also have fellas.

[C]

I'd be surprised to know that we are pretty much in tune with our vaginas.

[D]

I. I don't know. We are going to teach you how

[B]

to treat your vagina. We're going to, man.

[A]

Well, you know now.

[B]

Welcome to Mansplain the table.

[D]

The summer

[A]

across the sea. I love capital C. You're not going

[B]

to find any other radio show talking, singing about the summer quim.

[A]

You just leave that laid up against your belly, Right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, that's what I thought.

[B]

And also, this has nothing to do with the civil war, but the headline is foreskin reconstruction

[A]

Carpetbagger.

[B]

Wow, there's people. People are so nuts. That's the only reason we have this gig.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Just exploring the idiocy out there. Contemporary culture and everything else. That's all on the way. Plus, we'll find out about what's a blue antelope Right now. I'm going to tell you this.

[A]

You mean a blown.

[B]

No, no, A blue antelope. The O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios is where we are found. And this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[C]

Hey, there. I'm Paula Pan. I help people make the smartest money decisions possible. If you don't control your money, it controls you.

[B]

You're not in control of your finances and you have to look outside of yourself to live the life that you want. You're not in control of your life. Like, what is it that you actually want? Money should follow the dreams and goals because sometimes we make the dream and goal the money. And you've overworked yourself and you've exceeded what you've needed for the actual thing you want.

[D]

Sometimes we forget, like, what's the actual thing you want?

[C]

Afford anything. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Christy doing her nails.

[C]

Tom, I have a hangnail. Sorry.

[A]

She's at the news desk doing her now.

[B]

I'm sure she'll be doing a nice job. That was our break.

[A]

There's Josh Arnold.

[D]

When you have a hangnail, you don't use an emery board, Christy. You just pull on it. No, it goes all the Way up to your elbow. Well, that's. I mean, that's how I've done it.

[A]

Yeah. That's how I got that.

[C]

And isn't that the. The most painful thing for, like.

[D]

It's an exquisite pain.

[B]

Do you want the nuclear secrets?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I've heard a hangnail and pulling it out is just worse than childbirth.

[C]

I say that.

[B]

Yes. I wouldn't go quite that far.

[A]

That's what I heard. There's Ace Cosby. Huh. Chick. Hello, Tom.

[B]

Coming up, what might be worth. Worth. Excuse me. What might be worse is our story once again.

[A]

The Werthers are good, aren't they?

[B]

The headline once again is a Foreskin Reconstruction. Once again. This has nothing to do with the Civil War.

[D]

Anyway, you get the Silly Putty.

[B]

Have you ever read about this?

[A]

I'm curious.

[D]

I have.

[B]

Foreskin stuff.

[D]

It's why some parents have decided. I'm gonna let my child decide when they get old enough to. Whether or not they want their foreskin or not.

[A]

And there's a little mini documentary series on HBO called How to. With John Wilson, I think. And he lives in New York, and he tells you how to do, like, how to pick certain wines and done with the comedic slant. And he interviewed one guy that was stretching his foreskin out with the help of some weights and pulleys.

[B]

That's what this article mentions as he sleeps. Yeah.

[A]

And it goes up over. You need a headboard, but it goes up. Yeah. It's fascinating.

[B]

Yeah. I believe it's called mental illness. We'll explore that later on. Now, we do have a lot of letters to get to here.

[A]

Aren't you curious that if it is. That it adds to sexual satisfaction if you have a foreskin? Because people will have to be happy

[D]

with the decision my folks made for me, and I have what I have.

[A]

I'm gonna say the worst one I ever had was amazing.

[B]

This thing gets any more sensitive, it's gonna shoot off right now.

[C]

Oh, God.

[A]

I would like to see that.

[D]

That's the correct response.

[B]

I'm just saying no one can be happy with what they've got.

[A]

Can you make us do that right now?

[B]

I do.

[A]

No, I have to talk to it.

[B]

No, because I have mail that might make. Well, I got one that's going to make. Josh, I got. We have a new story coming up today that. It's one of my favorite topics that both Josh and I.

[A]

Well, let's. Let's get. Let's get through this first one. Okay. Dear Bob and Tom Show. I'm a truck driver. I listen on the app. My vision sucks without my contacts or glasses, and I brush my teeth in the shower.

[B]

And.

[A]

And Tom and Chick, your trick of putting toothpaste in the mouth is awesome. So much easier.

[D]

He tried it.

[A]

You guys are correct. P.S. sorry, Josh. That has been from Rupert, Idaho.

[D]

I like the guy. I like the folks who go, you know what? I'm gonna give this a shot. Yeah, I still haven't.

[C]

I haven't either.

[B]

He gave it a try again. If you're the only one that's using your toothpaste.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If you've got your own little area, why not just put it right in your mouth?

[D]

You know what? I'm gonna try it. Oh, what, though?

[A]

Tom has his own little area.

[D]

I have two. I have a toothpaste and then I have a toothpaste that goes on the toothpaste, so.

[B]

That's the thing. I didn't think.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

I didn't think you were that delicate.

[A]

You just blew my mind.

[B]

Toothpaste on the tooth.

[A]

Is it a polishing like.

[D]

Yeah, it's called. What is it? Smile Actives. And you put that on top of your regular toothpaste. So this might be more difficult for me.

[B]

Oh, that's from the Madison Avenue company.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[B]

Illinois.

[A]

New York. No. They have rumored to have nanobots in it. And they clean your teeth.

[D]

Yeah. They're like tiny robotic spiders.

[A]

Yeah, that's right. They clean your teeth.

[B]

I tend to be pretty brand loyal

[A]

to stuff I know. You know?

[B]

You.

[A]

Whatever your mom used when you were a kid, that's what you use now.

[B]

Except for some stuff that's generally true. Like my mom used Tide. I used Tide. I suppose if I read about it, I would find it different. Different detergent.

[C]

But your wife probably has a lot of influence over you now.

[B]

I'm sorry. She's in charge. I'll have to call her and ask. Yeah, but I rotate toothpaste. I've got like five different kinds in my drawer.

[D]

Do you ever use the samples that you get from the dentist office?

[B]

Yeah, sure.

[D]

Yeah, I do too.

[C]

Traveling.

[B]

Yeah. Those are great.

[C]

You don't use them when you travel or you use them at home?

[A]

I don't. That's funny you should mention I. I threw away like 30 the other day. I don't know. I just don't.

[C]

You.

[A]

I got a tube of two toothpaste.

[B]

In any event, everyone, I think Josh

[A]

has encouraged you ever since the pandemic. I'm a hoarder.

[B]

Try. Try the stuff that we suggest. Try sticking the tooth See, the best thing about doing it, Josh, is it gives your tongue a little rehearsal time. You put the toothpaste right in your mouth and you get a little. And if you. Then you've got to learn to segment it and take just the right amount.

[C]

Brush your tongue. You're supposed to.

[D]

Oh yeah.

[A]

If you hunt and find. And the toothpaste it will help you hunting and finding other things. Oh yeah.

[D]

I just. I. I take care of all that in my puslati's class.

[B]

Oh, you got in.

[D]

Oh, it was a long wait. Dude.

[A]

I was gonna say.

[D]

Yeah, that's like two year waiting.

[B]

Have you ever noticed the parking lot at that puslati's place? It's just a mess. You think people that have nice cars like that would know how to drive?

[A]

Does anyone have a Subarus? A tongue scraper? No, no.

[D]

I just use the brush with two. Yeah.

[B]

I don't have a tongue scraper thing too.

[D]

Yeah, people swear by those.

[A]

That's from Suckerville too, I think.

[B]

Let's see. We have Puss loddies.

[D]

Very similar.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This is a. I. I know you don't want to dwell on the same topic. I'll try to keep this brief.

[D]

I haven't scared.

[B]

This is from Stacy and I needed

[A]

to say it, but now I'm scared. I did.

[B]

Stacy writes.

[A]

I know the feeling.

[B]

Hello, favorite people.

[A]

Hello.

[B]

My husband loves my back and butt scratches so much, he thinks I should open it. Oh, I see. My husband loves my back scratches. I got it.

[A]

Oh, I was gonna say I like. I like a nice lady back.

[D]

Yeah, I get that.

[B]

Yeah, me too. That's what I thought it meant.

[D]

But little men's backs.

[C]

No, I love my back being attended to.

[B]

Yeah. So her husband. She scratches her husband's back and then she says and butt scratches. He thinks I should open a spa for back scratching only.

[D]

Nice. Please do it.

[A]

Yeah, but. But first turn her out on a corner to see if she likes it. Don't you think it's a heartbeat away from prostitution?

[B]

Okay. Being a back scratcher?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

No.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

I don't know. We might have to look at.

[A]

She's gonna fall in love with some guy. She scratches his back. It's a meet cute. Come on.

[B]

Stacy. Is she. She writes. Stacy from Chicago, Montana, Maryland, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Minnesota, Texas and Washington.

[C]

Well, she gets around.

[B]

What if she was a so called army brat?

[A]

Sounds like a prostitute to me.

[B]

Stacy, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have used your name.

[D]

I. We. I will happily try your back scratching spa.

[B]

Yeah, I Think that would be nice?

[A]

Hey, Stacy, you gotta prove it to me. Okay? You've got what it takes to scratch.

[B]

Okay. Now, occasionally we uncover classics that people are not familiar with on this program.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Occasionally.

[A]

And there's a reason in most cases why they're not familiar with.

[B]

I believe you were singing the praises of Jimmy Dean. I now, famous for the sausage, but a very fine entertainer.

[A]

Okay. And his more of a businessman, I think not.

[B]

In the beginning, he was an entertainer. He had his own TV show, the Jimmy Dean Show. Introduced the Muppets to.

[A]

He was television.

[B]

He had Ralph Them. I think that was the first, first major appearance of Muppets for any period of time on tv. In any event.

[A]

I think his name's Rolf, by the way.

[D]

It is, yeah.

[B]

Yeah. We had a little bit of an opportunity yesterday to play the song Big John, Big Bad Job. There we go.

[A]

Big Bad John. Who is it?

[B]

Big Bad John. And Josh was saying how much he loved this. I remember as a kid I had this record and I played it it over and over and over.

[D]

It's great.

[B]

It's got this kind of a life reaffirming thing about a guy sacrificing.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I think it's a horrific ending.

[D]

You guys have that, that, that sacrifice yourself for others thing. I absolutely do.

[A]

Yeah. But it's a rare instance, like when

[D]

they're like when I'm on a plane sitting next to the door and they go, will you be willing? I'm like, absolutely.

[A]

I say it, but I don't.

[D]

I don't mean.

[A]

I think. I think some of the flight attendants are on to me.

[B]

Did you see yesterday they had another guy try to open the door? Yeah.

[A]

What's up with that?

[B]

Yeah, this is why. This is why I say, and I want to go on record here. There should be the equivalent of a torpedo tube. On all airplanes. You take this douchebag, no trial, just you tie his hands up, stick him in the tube and drop them over Idaho, whatever.

[C]

Had U.S. marshals now on all planes. Is that not happening anymore?

[A]

I thought that always happened.

[B]

Oh, they. Oh, they, they secured this idiot.

[A]

Oh, yeah. A guy who hopped up and secured him, had a Jiu Jitsu T shirt on. And he turned out to be like a ninth degree. Yeah, a ninth degree black belt or something.

[C]

Is this the one that had to land in Madison or something on the way?

[B]

It was. No, this is the one. It was from Puerto Rico.

[A]

And all the other passengers were lining up and he kept going. I got him, man, I got him. Yeah, I got Him?

[D]

No, no, but. I know, but we all want to slap him in the face.

[B]

I want him in the torpedo tube. Drop them. Yeah, Just don't do it over an urban area. He might hit someone.

[D]

What are you screaming for, pal? You want it out?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Here you go.

[B]

Do you want to go in a cornfield or. Or would you rather go into a lake? Enjoy yourself in any. I'm off topic here. So we had Jimmy Dean and Big John, right? And then he became famous for his sausages. And there's a whole series. I mean, the great Paul Newman, great actor, humanitarian, and has a very fine spaghetti sauce.

[A]

It's just Paul Newman this come. He would not want you to say the great Paul Newman.

[B]

Well, he wouldn't, but he was great.

[A]

I mean. Well, you don't have to say it every time. It's kind of irritating.

[B]

You just. You just don't like Pullman because he's from Shaker Heights, where I'm from.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. As a matter of fact, you jaundice everything from northeast Ohio for me, and I didn't care for it to start with.

[B]

This comes to us from Evan. Evan is a farmer in Ohio. He goes, I'm a farmer in Ohio. I was listening to your show on my Raycon earbuds yesterday in my tractor.

[A]

All right.

[B]

I heard you play a little bit of the song Big John. A moment later, Tom was talking about the sequel to that song, and I got even more excited. Think I was finally going to get one of Tom's references. Although I was born in 1990. 1998, not 1888.

[C]

Like, nice.

[B]

I was preferred. Prepared for him to play the Cajun Queen.

[A]

I have by Jimmy Dean correspondence, much the same topic.

[B]

I was not aware that there was a sequel.

[A]

Big John does have a sequel written by Jimmy Dean. The song is called Cajun Queen. Big John's lover comes to the collapsed mine to revive him with her voodoo powers.

[D]

Oh, I must hear it.

[A]

He said, no, this is not a joke. That's Dan.

[B]

I had that must. It obviously wasn't a hit.

[A]

No, I. I never.

[B]

Big John was all over the radio

[A]

and never heard Cajun Queen.

[D]

So you played more of a parody response than a sequel.

[B]

Yeah, this guy was. Was hoping he would hear. Kate, I've got a copy of Cajun Queen here.

[A]

We can.

[B]

We can hear.

[D]

Really.

[B]

And I don't know what the result of the voodoo ladies visit was.

[D]

Well, they're usually effective.

[B]

You think so?

[A]

Well, he.

[D]

Oh, yeah. You don't mess with that.

[A]

She's trying to revive him Bring him back.

[B]

Here it is.

[A]

All right.

[D]

They played this in the Jimmy Dean commercials.

[A]

She kind of breezed into town from New Orleans and said, boys, I'm Big.

[B]

Big John's Cajun play. I didn't come here to argue or waste anybody's time. I just come to get my man from your dirty old mind. Cause he moves me.

[A]

Oh, now where you give up for old Queenie's gonna start. Cause I got a. Wow. There you go.

[B]

I want. I. We'll have to find out how it ends.

[A]

I like the. I like the harmonica.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Kind of a zydeco feel.

[B]

Yeah. But I don't want to. I want Big John to be down there.

[C]

Big John. You want him in the mine?

[D]

I'm with you. I kind of hope it doesn't work for her and she learns to live without him. Because that legend. You want the. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

The legend lives on. But I'm sorry. Back to our letter from our farmer friend Evan in Ohio. He said, I was prepared for Tom to play the Cajun Queen by Jimmy Dean, but sorely disappointed to hear Small Sad Sam.

[C]

Yeah, we all were.

[A]

Yeah. For some reason, you thought that was.

[B]

He goes, once again, I had never heard of it. And once again, Tom ruined my day. Thank you.

[D]

I get why you like that Tom. If you're a kid and you love Big Bad John, and then all of a sudden you find out somebody did a silly parody of it called Small Sad Sam.

[B]

And that's exactly the case because I was a kid and I thought it was really silly and dumb and here I'll play a little bit of it and. And I haven't heard this in many, many years. When we played a little yesterday, I realized it's genuinely awful. But here it is in theory.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

What happened here?

[A]

I'm Small sad Sam.

[B]

Here's a tale of a man who was puny and Weak stood 4 foot 6 in his stock and feet got a narrow in the shoulder and heavy in the waist Everything about him seemed to be misplaced Small sound. He slid in town one rainy night Running like a dog away from a fight he had a pretty big mouth for a guy his size and everything he said was a pack of lies all Sam.

[A]

Here they come. Ladies.

[D]

Yeah, ladies.

[C]

Oh, they didn't put them in there.

[D]

Girls.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

You know what?

[B]

Get to the point.

[A]

Whoever produced that, you know, they clicked on the mic. We're not going to get one better than that.

[D]

Make it sound thin and long and.

[B]

Yeah, you know what? That's on a compilation that was A Motown sign. What, from Motown?

[A]

Of all things, Barry Gordy should be embarrassed.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, it's on. It's on an album with all kinds of great artists. And then there's that thing. Yikes.

[A]

Small, sad Sam, but.

[B]

So I apologize to Evan. I. I just remembered that small, sad Sam was out there. I didn't realize how awful it was. What's coming up in sports?

[A]

We had game one of the Stanley cup last night. I'll give you a hint. Golden Knights take game one in Raleigh. No, it's a big hit tonight. Game one of the NBA Finals. Knicks and the Spurs. Would you take the spurs minus the six? I don't know. We have. They're playing in San Antonio tonight and are getting six. Yeah. And we had a home run awarded. Ball went off a guy's head.

[D]

Oh, that's funny.

[A]

Jose Canseco and WNBA action. And a statue has been taken down out of a sports hero, I guess.

[B]

Okay, what they learn about them,

[A]

you know, sometimes.

[B]

By the way, is there a warehouse

[A]

of people, People who fall in love? It's not necessarily convenient.

[B]

Every time they send them all to the same place?

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Right now, I want to talk about a little bit of weight loss. If you're looking to lose some serious weight and you're not interested in injecting yourself with something, how about a supplement that is designed to help you lose ten pounds or more? If you're just looking to lose a pound or two, this really isn't what it's designed for. It's from Brickhouse Nutrition. The physicians there developed something called Lean Lean, and they've had remarkable results. And this is part of an exercise and dietary program. But Lean is designed to lower your blood sugar, burn fat by converting it into energy, and curb your appetite, curb those cravings. So once again, lean, not for the casual dieter, but if you're serious about maybe getting rid of £10 or more. So you can get started with 20% off and free rush shipping if you act today. Courtesy of Brickhouse Nutrition. Lean is available. And just go to takelean.com enter the code tom for that discount. Once again, it's Take Lean. L e a n takelean.com the code is tom for that special discount. And once again, the extra fast rush shipping. This is a supplement. It's not an injection. Now, weight loss results, of course, are going to vary. These products and statements have not been evaluated by the fda. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat or cure or prevent any disease or any condition. Once again, It's a supplement. It's called Lean L E A N. Take lean.com. the code is Tom for that special discount and the rush shipping. Also coming up, another oddity at Outback Steakhouse. You remember the one where the guys, the guy claimed the toilet exploded on him.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

We got another oddity. An oddity at the Outback. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Hey, thanks for listening this morning. Got something to say?

[B]

Send us an email.

[A]

Bob and tomobandtom.com Mr. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[C]

Hi.

[A]

There's Josh Arnold.

[D]

Christy took me on a date last night. I did see the Spud Boys.

[A]

Tell me all about it. The what boys?

[D]

The Spud Boys.

[B]

We are Devo.

[E]

Yep.

[B]

I was Devo.

[D]

Wonderful. Excellent.

[C]

They were good.

[A]

Did they crack that whip?

[C]

Yeah, they cracked.

[D]

They gave the pass a slip.

[A]

Oh, I see.

[D]

Get satisfaction.

[A]

Remember that. Did they have like a girl or cross eyed in the video for Devo? That's what I always remember.

[D]

They had a lot of odd videos and stuff. Yeah.

[C]

And that's what I like about their show is the art direction is amazing. Yeah, yeah. They have a lot of fun videos to watch.

[A]

Hello, Tom, we are Devo.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

I.

[B]

We were talking. I'll wrap this topic up. We were talking about the Jimmy Dean song Big John, but please, Big Bad John. Yes, I'm sorry, Big Bad John. That was number one for five weeks. It was considered a quote unquote monster hit.

[C]

What year do we know?

[A]

I'm gonna say 60.

[D]

Yeah, a long time ago, I think across genres.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it did. And it was. What's interesting is a crossover. I was not aware that there was a sequel. The sequel, which we played a little bit of Cajun Queen. I found out the storyline. Yes, the Cajun Queen. And why are, why is it always Cajun Queen? Is because it sort of rhymes with New Orleans. Every song.

[A]

Cajun Queen, New Orleans.

[B]

Yeah. See, there was in any event, the Cajun Queen. She's some kind of voodoo princess. She goes down into the mine and she finds. No, I'm not making that up. They call her a voodoo princess.

[A]

No, no, no. You said voodoo.

[C]

I didn't say anything. Chicks.

[B]

That's why you're shaking your head. The point is she goes down in the mine, the collapsed mine, and she finds him alive.

[D]

I don't know how I feel about this.

[A]

Wait a minute. So he was alive when she got there.

[D]

Yeah, they're retrofitting me.

[B]

Then it says she kisses him and brings him back around. So I guess he's was unconscious. They emerge from the mind together to the amazement of the crowd. Then the song jumps in time. Big Bad John and the Cajun Queen return to New Orleans. They grow old together and have 110 grandchildren. Happy ending.

[C]

Oh God. It was a Mississippi Queen. Not the Cajun Queen.

[B]

The occasion queen shows up.

[D]

Asian queen's a real

[B]

Mississippi Queen. I love this.

[D]

By her.

[B]

By the great Fatsby. Oh yeah, that's what he called himself. Getting back to our storyline, they did, did two more sequels.

[D]

No kidding.

[B]

Yeah. And the first one, by the way, not really a hit. It got up to number 16. Whereas the first one was number one. Then they did another one that they did Little Bitty John and My Big John and they. Wait a minute. They really went off.

[C]

They're really trying to jump the shark.

[A]

There was a. There was a song called Little Bitty John.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Can you give me some background?

[B]

It says by the time they got around to Little bitty Big John the audience had largely lost interest in expanding the so called Big Bad John cinematic universe. Yeah, yeah.

[D]

They're Little bitty. Big John is funny that they still called him big even though he's a little bit.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Yeah. So but that was. That's the story on that.

[A]

You got to have. You gotta have a little bitty in there. It's different.

[D]

It's like Biggie Smalls. Which is it?

[A]

Biggie Small. Are you big or small Jumbo shrimp.

[B]

Are there any great, other great story songs that have a sequel that works well?

[A]

Snoopy and the Red Baron.

[D]

It's Judy's turn to cry kind of works. You know, it's the sequel to it's my party.

[A]

Oh yeah. Okay.

[B]

Turned out that was a party of all ladies.

[D]

Now it's Judy's turn.

[A]

Oh really? They're playing softball or something.

[C]

Oh God.

[D]

But other than that, story songs, I don't know. But there are some good sequels.

[B]

There was the great song Taxi by Harry Chapin.

[A]

Eight minutes long.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And then there's a sequel to it.

[B]

There is a sequel to that one.

[A]

There is public transportation. Get on the bus, Gus. Oh, 50 ways to leave your life.

[B]

I wonder what are the. One of the unfortunate things about Uber is that it doesn't. It doesn't have the. What's the word? The sort of the nice sound quality of taxi or cabbie or cab.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I don't think there's gonna be any great songs about.

[A]

No. Uber's in the lexicon. I mean.

[B]

No, no, no. It's not as poetic.

[C]

It's not something you would.

[D]

If I remember correctly, Mr. Pat Godwin had to rhyme it with the phrase lube her.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I may have been responsible for that.

[A]

Tom, have you checked your Uber passenger rating lately? Yeah, I'll share mine after going to Dallas. Yeah.

[C]

What'd you get?

[A]

I'm at a 4.96.

[D]

That seems a very, very respectable 4.98.

[A]

No, that's 4. 4.95.

[B]

I was at a. I was at a five.

[A]

You were at a perfect five.

[B]

And then that. That dick in Chicago that couldn't find where I was standing at a major intersection. He. I had to cancel it. I stood there for 45 minutes.

[A]

I canceled Uber in Dallas, and I. 4.9.

[C]

I'm a 4.95.

[A]

You're less.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Than me in so many ways.

[B]

Is that what you're saying?

[A]

Oh, well.

[D]

Always.

[A]

Go to your account and it pops right up.

[B]

My point was there weren't any. Your name, any Grayson. Any great songs with over. Uber just isn't as quite as romantic.

[D]

I'm a 4.71. Oh, I could care less.

[A]

You must. You must tell him, like, what it's gonna be, man.

[B]

Man, did you badmouth somebody?

[C]

No.

[D]

I'm sure it was probably some.

[A]

Huh.

[D]

Non white

[A]

who didn't.

[D]

Who didn't like being referred to as non white. Right, right. That happens a lot.

[B]

Really? You didn't enjoy the gibberish that he was? Well, I let them know I always talk to these.

[A]

Don't you check. No conversation. That's what I always do.

[B]

I always like to find out where they're from. And my last two guys were from Haiti. See?

[A]

You know what?

[B]

Hey. Welcome to America.

[A]

I bet you the people pick you up. Go. Oh, God. This guy wants a conversation and a show, and now I got to come

[B]

up with a story, find out interesting things about him.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Now we got it. Before we take a break here, I want to play just a little bit of this for you. I don't. I've never heard this, so hope it's okay. Here we go.

[A]

When he was 12 years old he

[B]

wore a 13 shoe a little bitty big John A little bitty big John he could do more work than a man could do A little bitty big

[D]

John I was hoping for something else, baby.

[B]

A little bitty big John Is that James?

[D]

Tell me that his mama was a Cajun Queen.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It doesn't sound like. Is that still Jimmy Dean?

[C]

It is.

[A]

That's what I thought. That's what I thought.

[D]

He had a polyp removed off of his.

[A]

And he was looking at the polyp. He goes, I'm gonna make sausage.

[D]

That's.

[B]

I wonder if they made a movie. Did they make a movie out of Big John? Big Bad John, the way they did? They made one about the Tallahatchie Bridge. Toss.

[A]

I went out in Georgia. Worst, worst, Worst song made into a movie. I say the Gambler by Kenny Ryan Rogers. Awful movie.

[D]

There were like. Aren't there, like, six of those?

[A]

Yes. The Gambler returns.

[C]

Really?

[A]

There goes the gambler.

[C]

I did not.

[D]

Gambler, gambler, gambler.

[B]

The gambler.

[A]

The gambler.

[B]

The gambler jumps off the Tallahatchee Bridge.

[A]

Die Hard with the Gambler. Remember that one?

[B]

Impregnating. Impregnating. Billy Joel. Wait a minute. Billy Joe. Sorry. We'll get back onto a topic that's interesting when we come Back to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob

[A]

and Tom show this morning. Get a look at today's show on our YouTube channel.

[B]

Thank you, Earl. I appreciate it.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. At the news desk, it's Christy Lee.

[C]

Hello.

[A]

There's Josh Arnold.

[D]

Hi, there.

[A]

Over there at the Sidekick desk, there's Ace Cosby. I am Chick Magee, and I've got a question for you. Hello, Tom, if you can hold on

[B]

to your question for just a second. We're holding on Communications from Mr. Godwin. All right, as you know, Patty G. Had surgery on his shoulder. What's it called again? Rotator cuff surgery or something.

[A]

That's it.

[B]

He goes. He sent me a picture and he's got his cpap. Is that what it's called? Thing on his face.

[A]

Wow. He's all hooked up to stuff.

[B]

Yeah. And then he's got his arm in this kind of fancy sling.

[D]

He's all hooked up up.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

He goes, hey, everybody, have a good show. The nerve block has worn off and all is fine.

[C]

Oh, good, Chick.

[B]

Things have improved. Thank you, everybody at Forte for fixing my shoulder. I can't wait to start playing guitar, piano and playing with myself again.

[D]

How nice.

[A]

Oh, yeah, Forte. That used to be specialties.

[D]

Yes, that's right. Yeah.

[B]

He goes, I can take my pus lotties classes again in about six weeks.

[D]

Wonderful.

[B]

I love and miss you. Always well, thank you.

[C]

Patty's doing well.

[A]

He really is listening.

[C]

Yeah, he is.

[B]

But apparently the meds have kicked in, so.

[D]

All right, well, my gosh, go to sleep.

[B]

And there's a picture of a cryo machine.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Vast vascularm.

[A]

It makes you cry.

[B]

And I guess this puts cold water through the sling, so. Okay.

[A]

Speeds healing, evidently.

[B]

All right, well, good luck, Pat. We'll see you here in a week or so with a guest guitarist for you to sing along to. Now you have a point. You want to.

[A]

I have a picture for you, Tom, if you would describe it to our listening audience. And I hope you're. Some of you watching on YouTube will see this. This is a picture of a sixth grade yearbook. Tom, can you.

[D]

I'm very happy about it.

[A]

Tell a. Tell me what? Different about this.

[B]

We begin at the top. There's about 10 pictures there on the typical class photographs, teachers included there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you've got. Yeah, you've got the lady with the bouffant. You've got the guy with the butch haircut.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

You've got the nice lady with the hair there on the right, down to the second row. That must be a coach there. Very handsome teacher.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Then you've got a golden retriever with a blue kerchief on.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

You've got. Must be the librarian. Then you've got.

[D]

Wait a minute.

[B]

There's a dog.

[A]

That is Kincaid the dog. This is from Aaron in Perrysburg, Ohio, near Toledo. We received our son's sixth grade yearbook. And looking through the faculty and staff portion, one picture in particular stood out. That's right. It's Kincaid the dog. Each of Harrysburg's the home of John Josh's favorite, the Toledo Funny Bone. Seven schools have a. Each school has a facility dog. Most are Goldens or yellow labs. They are professionally trained to meet assistance dogs international standards and are used for physical, emotional and cognitive support for students. That's great. It's a great program. And the dogs are all big sweeties.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Seeing this made me immediately think of Tom. I had to send it to you.

[B]

That's great.

[A]

Well, thank you, Aaron.

[D]

Mrs. Stevens, give me a. Give me a call.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

I think. What was her name? Mrs. Wedge. Well, I have the picture right here. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Well, that's fun.

[A]

Mrs. Wedge looks like a goer, doesn't she?

[C]

Look like

[D]

you're too busy looking at Mrs. Ste. Oh, Mrs. Mean, she's married.

[A]

Yeah, well.

[C]

Well, she could be divorced.

[D]

I'll blow that family Up.

[B]

Jim writes, hello, radio heroes. Apparently, the wrong.

[A]

Yes, wrong show.

[B]

My 3 year old asked his mom, hey, look at my leg. Elbow.

[D]

Funny.

[B]

I immediately thought of Tom.

[D]

I love that.

[B]

This is from Sholzburg, Wisconsin.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Home of Scholzburg cheese. Oh, is that a.

[C]

Never heard of it.

[D]

I'd like to try it.

[B]

I would like to try it. Jim, the next time you send a letter, please box up some cheese.

[D]

I've been enjoying some tillamook lately.

[C]

Oh, that's a good one.

[D]

That is good.

[C]

The white cheddar is really good. I might have some today.

[A]

Have you guys had the Jarlsberg dip?

[C]

No.

[A]

That's like Jarlsberg cheese and you dip a cracker in it. It's creamy.

[D]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

Sweet baby.

[D]

Wonderful.

[C]

What crack are you going with?

[B]

Dear Bob and Tom show. Dear kings and queens of the airwaves. What is this? What is this? After listening to Josh discuss his burial wishes.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

I think it's time for a new Bob and Tom TV series. Now, Josh, would you mind doing the thumbnail sketch of your burial?

[D]

I suggested that I be tied to some sort of spit type device in my grave, and it would have a handle that comes out of the ground so that passersby could have me make me spin in my grave.

[B]

Yes. Kind of a rotisserie.

[A]

Where did that come from? The term. Well, he's spinning in his earth.

[D]

Yeah. I don't know.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

Turning over in his grave.

[B]

I think it might have started with turning over.

[D]

Yeah. And then. And then it became he was turning over. So.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Adamantly.

[A]

That. You know, what I'm concerned most about is that one position for all that time. Because I. I get. I. I need.

[C]

You don't like to lay on your back.

[A]

I need to roll over.

[C]

All right.

[D]

Need a pillow between your legs?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, man. I can't. I can't do that. One position.

[B]

You can probably. Can you fit in that way sideways

[C]

on, like fetal maybe?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Because it.

[A]

Hang on. Fetal position. There's the answer.

[D]

S shaped coffins.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That's gonna be pricey. There's a lot of mitering and prices.

[A]

No, I won't care. I won't be here.

[B]

I bet somewhere, some way, some. Somebody had that done, but.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Back to our letter.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's time for the new Bob and Tom TV series. He has passed on, yet his mind keeps spinning. Josh Arnold is the rotisserie man.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Although he's been. This is Matt in Iowa writes. It may need a different title. People might think the show is about Josh waiting for chickens at the Walmart to finish cooking.

[A]

Yeah, I wonder where he got.

[B]

Are they famous for their.

[A]

I wonder where he got that sort of idea. Tom, where would. About Josh. Where would he get that?

[B]

I don't know. I. Does Walmart have a good rotisserie chicken?

[C]

Rotisserie chickens. But I don't know. I have not.

[D]

People rave about Costco.

[C]

Costco has one.

[B]

Okay, well, thank you very sure.

[C]

Sam's Club probably does.

[A]

Costco has a pretty good chicken tetrazini, too. Just eat it right out of it.

[C]

They do.

[A]

I had some cramping at one.

[D]

How much would you guys pay to spin me in my. My grave?

[C]

How much would we.

[D]

Because what I'm thinking is the money would go to, like, a favorite charity of mine. Like, you could put in 50 cents, spin me a couple times.

[C]

50 cents. You're selling yourself short. You need, like, 20 bucks. Everybody's got a 20.

[B]

You want a digital screen? Tipping would be and would be allowed. I think it starts. It starts at 20 or 25. But I want.

[C]

Everybody's easy because you don't have to make change.

[D]

I'm not looking to. I just want everybody to have the opportunity to do it.

[A]

And you should put a sign up there that says, tipping is not a city in China.

[D]

Oh, I like that a lot. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe a QR code.

[C]

Maybe five bucks.

[A]

Oh, there you go. Yeah. You need credit card. Ability to take credit cards. Yeah.

[B]

Now, let's see.

[D]

Where are we?

[B]

Okay, we got a couple things to get to here. Did you have another letter you wanted to get to?

[A]

Dear Bob and Tom show. This is from Brian in Iowa. And I. I recognize this syndrome. Poor Brian. This is the exact wording of his letter. It starts with, good morning, Josh.

[D]

Good morning.

[A]

Toothpaste, toothpaste, toothpaste, toothpaste, tdr, tdr. Tdr. That sounds like a sex move. Sounds like a sex move. That sounds like a sex move. And he wraps it up with, remember, they won't sell you a handgun if you're crying. Brian. And Iowa. He's obviously listening to our show and has finally had a nervous pregnancy.

[B]

Well, I then tell him to cover his ears for just a second.

[A]

Bless his heart.

[B]

Cover your ears for just a second.

[A]

Hang in there, Brian.

[B]

Are you familiar with the movie I love you to death?

[D]

I. I'm a very big fan of that movie. Bruce Willis, Kevin Klein. It's Tracy Lawrence Kasdan.

[A]

Oh, yes. And they can't kill him.

[D]

William Hurt, Keanu Reeves are the bumbling Hitman, Right?

[A]

Right.

[D]

Very funny movie. Joan Plow, Right. The wonderful Joan.

[C]

I've not seen this.

[A]

She a dame? She's got to be a dame.

[B]

She's deceased.

[D]

Oh, I hope she was dangerous.

[A]

She had dead dame.

[D]

She might be a dead Dane just recently.

[B]

This is from our friend Jack in Linden, Pennsylvania.

[A]

Last name Mahogoff.

[B]

He begins with. He begins with. My apologies to Josh. In the movie I love you to death, there is someone using the Tom and Chick toothpaste directly to the mouth method.

[A]

Really?

[B]

So there you go.

[D]

So there you go.

[B]

Josh, I know you don't approve. Do you recall this in the movie?

[D]

No.

[B]

I'm sure it's a key scene. Probably.

[D]

I don't know that it is.

[B]

Entire plot hinges on it, but there you go. So. Well, thank you very much for pointing that out, Jack. That is certainly some valuable information.

[D]

Oh, boy. I mean, we simply couldn't have gotten through the day without. And you would not without you, Jack,

[C]

sleep tonight without knowing that Joan Plowright actually is a dame. She became a Dame in 2004 by Queen Elizabeth.

[A]

Well, good. Is she alive?

[C]

No, she died in January of 2025.

[A]

So she is a dead dame.

[C]

Dead dame.

[B]

There is nothing like a dead dame.

[A]

Is that South Pacific? Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, there is nothing like a dame.

[A]

Okay. Well, this is Devo, my favorite Devo song, by the way.

[B]

Very nice.

[A]

Oh, yeah, and they didn't do that last night.

[D]

He did.

[A]

Oh, they did do that. Okay.

[D]

He wore a hat.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

He's got a job.

[A]

He wore a hat. Now, are you trying to do a one man show of. Who am I thinking, Harry Truman over there with your round glasses?

[D]

Yeah, they are a little round.

[A]

Those really fit your face.

[B]

These.

[A]

Don't lose those.

[B]

Yeah, I don't have to wear glasses except when I use this computer. And the ones that I use are broken. So these.

[A]

Very good.

[B]

I borrowed these from somebody. I believe these are probably from the Pat Godwin collect.

[A]

The person you borrowed them from, are they aware you borrowed them?

[B]

I have no idea.

[D]

They're stumbling out in the traffic.

[A]

Where are my glasses?

[B]

Coming up, we have news from the world of sports, including a world record. Heck, yeah. Okay. Okay, that's good.

[A]

Sorry, I get a little taste of rum here. I can't go on.

[B]

Good to know. Right, now I want to talk to you about that house you're living in. If you own that house. And let's just say your neighbor maybe sold his or her house or their house and you went, oh, my God, how much money did they get for that, that place because what's happened for whatever reason in the United States of America in the last five years, the average house has gone up between 40 and 50%. It depends of course on other factors in the last 10 years. If you've got a 10 year old place that you've been living in, it's probably worth twice as much as you paid for it. What does all this mean? Well, you don't have to sell your house to take advantage of the increase in the so called equity. You can grab that by doing a refi, refinance the place. And that's what they do at American Financing. This is their specialty. And you can find out in about 10 minutes if this could work for you and why would you want to do it? Well, a couple of reasons. You could lower your interest. You could get rid of, I should say, those high interest credit card bills that are sitting around getting bigger and bigger every month. You could put yourself in a, how about a new kitchen, I don't know, maybe a new car. It's your money. Do what you want with it. But lower that mortgage payment. The average client right now is dropping that payment by 800 bucks a month. They also have a special program in place right now that for some folks will actually put off two months worth of mortgage payments. So no upfront fees, no pressure. Just see if it works for you. Give them a call. 866-889-2611. Just remember, it's much easier to remember this than to remember that phone number I just flew by with. Go to american financing.net and do me a favor and put slash Bob and Tom so then that you heard about it from this show. Once Again, it's American financing.net Bob and Tom get the details. It might work for you. I don't know what your situation is, but this could be something, a way to get some cash and get your head above water here. It's American Financing.net NMLS 182334 NMLSConsumerAccess.org APR for rates in the five started 6.327% for well qualified borrowers. Call 866-889-2611. For details about credit costs and terms, visit American Financing.net BobandTom Average savings based on borrowers who save over $200.

[A]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Think hi think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. If you know what movie I'm talking about, we can be friends. There's Christy Lee at the news that desk.

[C]

Hi. And I don't. So we're not friends.

[A]

There's Josh Arnold.

[D]

Son, you got a panty on your head.

[A]

That's right. It's raising Arizona. There's Ace Cosby.

[D]

Hey, I knew that.

[A]

I'm Chick McGee. And hello, Tom.

[B]

Hello, Chick McGee. I think it's time to dip our toes into the world of sports.

[A]

All right.

[D]

Did you guys ever talk to the great Randall Tex Cobb? Did you ever have the opportunity to.

[A]

We did not. But he is wonderful in raising Arizona.

[D]

You guys familiar with that? That great character he always played a lumbering, just tough motorcycle guy, typically.

[A]

I don't know what's left to talk about. Price. What's a fair price?

[D]

Randall.

[A]

Text Randall Texcol.

[C]

Oh, I know who he is.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

NHL Stanley cup. First game last night, the finals. A lackluster third round of the NHL playoffs. Stanley cup final, though was everything and more that you'd want it to be. Vegas at Carolina last night and the Golden Knights beat the Hurricane. Let me tell you about the Hurricane. Five, four. Last night, Vegas winning in Raleigh. The Vegas. The Golden Knights fell two goals behind less than 13 minutes in. It was two nothing Carolina. And then obviously Vegas came roaring back.

[D]

I've never seen the movie Hollywood Nights. Oh, is that Robert Wool?

[A]

You mean with new bomb Turk? Of course I've seen Hollywood night.

[D]

I need to see it.

[A]

Yes, yes, absolutely. Stuart Pankins in it.

[D]

Oh, I love Stuart Pankin.

[A]

Yes, he goes along. Yeah, I think it's kind of like it's a better American Graffiti. I know, I know. I'll get some static.

[B]

Wait a minute.

[A]

In this part of the room. But yeah.

[B]

Is it?

[A]

I want to say Wolfman Jackson. That too, but maybe not. I don't.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

I do not.

[C]

I don't recall Hollywood Nights.

[A]

We can't be friends.

[B]

Wasn't it. Wasn't it K N I G H T s. Weren't they.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Was it some gang thing?

[A]

I think that was their high school. Hollywood. The nights. Hollywood night.

[B]

The West Hollywood nights. They're all they. They attack people and. And do give them fresh hairdos. Well, it gets their.

[D]

Some of the most violent slap fighting you'll ever see.

[A]

Have you ever eaten at Barney's Greenery in West Hollywood? That's a good. I have a good little rush. I'm sure it's game one tonight between the Knicks and the spurs in San Antonio. It's going 2, 2, 111 for this best.

[B]

Who is the current favorite?

[A]

Spurs. Right now minus six.

[C]

So you get for the whole thing,

[A]

you take that for tonight's game. You take the spurs minus the six. We'll see what happens after tonight's game. Dominant one game.

[D]

Have you ever had occasion to wear spurs?

[C]

Well, you have the hat.

[A]

Let me tell you something.

[B]

You know something that's funny because as a kid I always. Yeah, as a kid I had some kind of a little cowboy kit.

[D]

Right.

[B]

You know what it came with?

[A]

I bet you did.

[B]

Little lord fault you didn't have a little holster.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Little cat gun and it came with spurs.

[B]

And a cap gun and it came with a vest and spurs.

[A]

I'm almost certain that you're the only kid that called it a cowboy kit, you effing weirdo.

[D]

Do people who work with horses still wear spurs?

[C]

I would, I don't. I don't know.

[D]

Because they were meant to get the horse going, right, right, right.

[A]

I don't think you'd ever, ever need spurs with a good cowboy.

[B]

Yeah, the whole world of horse people, they. It's a whole different thing.

[D]

It's amazing.

[C]

And there are different kinds of horse people.

[D]

Sure, sure. But I mean any. Yeah.

[A]

Have you ever seen a male horse? You know what I mean?

[B]

Never forget the first one I saw. Yeah, it was central Lake Michigan. We were getting ready for the July 4th parade and it looked like the horsey in back of us had a seven foot broomstick.

[D]

Hilarious.

[B]

And of course being, you know, 12 year old boys, we lost our minds. Oh, yeah.

[D]

Couldn't believe how funny it was. Yeah. Always the highlight of any parade, seeing

[A]

a male horse or a male donkey.

[B]

With that, where were we? Oh, somehow we got from ice hockey to. I forget the, the Johnsons of.

[A]

Oh, I don't know.

[B]

I don't know about spurs. I'm sure there's. There are probably maybe out on the range, various types, I imagine there. It's an art form, I would think.

[D]

Try wearing some spurs at home and just see how long it takes for someone to notice. Are you wearing spurs?

[B]

Not even at home. I wear them to the mall.

[A]

Here's the thing.

[B]

Walking. Walk into Nordstrom's with your spurs on.

[A]

See, I like the sound of spurs, but I don't like wearing the spur.

[D]

The sound is that classic jangle. Yeah. If your husband were just wearing spurs one day, Christy, would you.

[C]

I would laugh.

[A]

Would you like to be ridden with him riding the spur?

[B]

I don't want to get wearing the spurs, baby. I'm gonna dig in.

[C]

Wow. You know, you can get 149 handcrafted spurs. Beautiful.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Are there any boots that come with spurs attached to them? Like they're. They're part of the boot? I don't actually.

[B]

I don't think so.

[A]

That would be cumbersome, at least.

[B]

Yeah. And also, apparently, Josh, you're not too far off, judging by what I'm looking at here. Some of these spurs are clearly not meant for use with horses, if you know what I'm saying.

[D]

I would think there's some novelty spurs that are.

[C]

These are not. These are only 36 bucks at Walmart. They're pretty nice. Look at that.

[D]

I'm getting some.

[A]

They fall apart.

[B]

So if you walk into a Walmart in any given town, they're going to

[D]

have a spurs section that may only be online.

[C]

I think they're online.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[C]

But still, I bet he'd get them in Texas. I bet they're Walmart.

[B]

Okay, well. Very nice.

[D]

Would they look good on my.

[C]

Brooks, do you have cowboy boots?

[D]

I don't own any cowboy boots. I've got hiking boots and I've got other kinds of boots.

[C]

I don't want your hiking boots.

[B]

That's funny.

[A]

My affection for shoes. I don't have any cowboy boots. I have.

[C]

And you're an Austin boy. You go to Texas a lot?

[A]

I'm not a boy anything. I'm a man. Okay.

[D]

What I understand true cowboy boots. And, Tommy, I think you can attest to this. Oh, yeah, That's a good. What, Four months of breaking in?

[B]

Yeah. You don't just throw those.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

It's like an hour a day.

[A]

And that's. I believe, cowboy boots cost a start at Iraq, right?

[C]

Really?

[A]

A thousand bucks? Yeah, I think so.

[B]

Well, now we can get away from hockey.

[A]

Now we got baseball. Last night, guess what happened. Los Angeles. Los Angeles Angels right fielder Joe Adele last night misplayed a fly ball into a home run off his head yet a play reminiscent on my head yet of Jose Canseco's embarrassing mistake off his head throwing. 33 years ago, Adele tried to catch up to TJ Boink, you know, and it's over the wall. And that is a home. Home run.

[D]

And this guy's defense, it looks like it goes right through. Oh, no, he does miss it. Absolutely.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He closes. He closes. He closes his glove a little too

[D]

early and it's way to the left.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And then it.

[A]

Yeah, it's way. It's way off.

[C]

That had to Give him a headache. Right.

[D]

That had to hurt.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Could not have felt good.

[C]

Come on.

[A]

He got ahead of it, right? And the ball. His gloves. Yeah. That was a T.J. rumfield's deep fly for the Rockies in the fourth inning. The ball grazed the outside of his glove before bouncing off his head over the wall for a solo home run. That's where the up stands up and does the circle thing with his finger.

[D]

Insult to injury.

[A]

Yes, sir. And he has to watch the guy trot around the bases. I believe we have Jose Canseco's a home run as well. Off his head.

[D]

This was a little more glorious. I feel it was Tink. I mean, that one.

[A]

Yeah. And. And Jose acts like he's hurt, which he might very well be at right on. 33 years ago. Oh, man. Long before high definition.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Against your Cleveland Indians, when Jose played for the Texas Rangers. I think we all. All remember that. Oh, the glory years, Jose. And the Rangers, wnba, last night, Atlanta, Washington, Golden State and Vegas, all winners. And there's a problem with a statue. I hope you guys don't have any problem with my statue. That will be where we.

[C]

Where are we erecting our statue?

[B]

No, the statue isn't the problem. Right here in front of.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Getting the TV to sit right in front of it. That you're going to be sitting. Watching.

[C]

Oh, he's going to be in a recliner.

[B]

Yeah. What you're saying it's gonna be like the Thinker, except he'll be staring at a telephone television.

[D]

You're making about my buddy.

[A]

I like that very much. As long as there's a tape of.

[C]

I thought you were going to be taxidermied in the lobby.

[A]

17. They won't let me do that. I checked out. You can't. Taxidermy. Taxidermy.

[D]

I found a guy.

[B]

Now, if you don't mind being. If you don't mind having it done in a small country on the Ivory coast, we can get this done for you.

[D]

That can get me done. But I did find a guy right here. Here in town.

[A]

The term the ivory.

[D]

The only. The only caveat is he has to make love to you first. After your.

[C]

I was gonna say before.

[A]

I mean, I'm. I'm past.

[D]

Or some people. Some artists will sign their. Their work. That's what he does with his. Finished. Taxidermied.

[A]

That's fine. Absolutely fine.

[C]

He'll be dead. You won't care.

[B]

How do you know? You think you don't know. What if you. You don't know what kind of post. You think consciousness. You might be having a coffin.

[C]

You're gonna remember that you're gonna be there.

[A]

Maybe. Maybe you're entirely conscious. You just can't move your muscles.

[D]

Oh, to be a sex mummy.

[B]

There's a movie.

[A]

Brendan Fraser is sex Mommy.

[B]

That guy can act.

[A]

A giant statue of soccer superstar Lionel Messi. You should see his room, it's just filthy. It was taken down. The statue is taken down in India on Monday. It was spotted swaying dangerously in the wind.

[D]

Oh, geez.

[A]

Hydraulic cranes and ropes were used to dismantle the 70 foot tall sculpture.

[B]

It's a good thing. It would have been very messy had it hit anybody.

[D]

More of that, please. All morning, no matter what.

[A]

This happened in Kolkata.

[D]

It was 30 meters tall. You go, Kolkata.

[C]

Kolkata

[A]

it is.

[B]

Lionel Messi.

[D]

No, I don't even know where Calcutta is.

[A]

Not Calcutta, It's Kolkata.

[D]

Is Calcutta even in India?

[A]

K O, L, K A T, A. I know.

[D]

I know too little about world geography.

[A]

Yeah, that's. I don't know.

[B]

That's. Of course they developed the delicatessen. Cold cuts. Yes, From Kolkata. New. New Delhi.

[D]

I'm sorry, I. I don't know. I can't understand what you're saying with that accent.

[A]

Col.

[D]

Thank you.

[B]

Near New Delhi. I'd like cold cuts from New Delhi.

[A]

We're gonna get.

[D]

We're gonna get rid of them yet.

[C]

Yeah, but the sad thing is we all go with him.

[B]

So the. So the statue.

[A]

I don't know if that's.

[B]

Do we have a picture of this statue by chance?

[D]

70ft high.

[B]

Look at the size of that thing. It's another. It's on a. It's being towed away in a flatbed truck.

[A]

And as statues go nowadays, looks nothing like Lionel Messi.

[B]

And you go with the Lionel, Not Lionel, like the train, Whatever. No, I think you're correct.

[A]

No, it is Lionel. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. That thing is huge.

[D]

It sure is.

[B]

It's. And is that supposed to. Is he supposed to be wearing a tunic?

[D]

No, it's a T shirt.

[B]

Is that a soccer jersey?

[E]

It looks.

[D]

Yeah, he's wearing shorts.

[E]

Shorts.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Down.

[A]

That's like four car. Okay, four car lengths tall, if you will.

[D]

They've got them all gullivered to the.

[B]

You know, that's funny.

[A]

It was swaying in the wind.

[D]

Oh, that was. I'm glad they took it down.

[A]

He got the World cup there and his.

[B]

Couldn't they just.

[A]

Right hand.

[B]

I mean, the Statue of Liberty doesn't fall over.

[C]

Maybe they should.

[B]

Maybe they need to get some better.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Why don't you guys get a bolt.

[C]

Bolt his feet. Now.

[B]

You need to hear in the US of A. That statue's staying up, up.

[A]

You know, here in the United States, it doesn't add length to your dick. You bring an automatic weapon to a deal for microprocessors in this country. Okay, coming up, no ticky, no washi.

[B]

Is that the end of sports?

[A]

The statue of Messi taken away on an open top flatbed truck. It's Kolkata. And I'm aware of Calcutta, but this is Kolkata, the capital. It's the capital of the West Bengal state.

[D]

Oh, I had no idea.

[A]

And I believe it is Bengal.

[D]

That's where all the Tigers are.

[A]

The Cincinnati Bengals.

[C]

You are correct.

[D]

Boy, oh, boy. They just threw it in the Ganges, I imagine.

[A]

I would think everything's thrown in the game. Like any stiff body, the Ganges has it.

[D]

Now it belongs to the Ganges.

[C]

It's now a fish hatchery.

[B]

Okay, well, thanks, Leo.

[A]

A reef, maybe. It's a living.

[B]

Give me the teaser. What's coming up in sports?

[A]

More of this Tom.

[D]

A donkey.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Is that a donkey?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Or is that a man being a donkey?

[A]

It. Oh, it might be a sound effect. I think it's a real.

[D]

It sounds like the guy who did sound effects on Prairie Home Companion.

[C]

Oh, God.

[B]

Poor guy. That poor guy lost his gig because Garrison. Garrison maybe may or not have copped a field. Yeah, what the hell happened there? That's bucks.

[A]

Just take the compliment.

[B]

Coming up, the. Coming up, the headline. Foreskin Reconstruction. This is nothing to do with the Civil War, okay?

[A]

Will you stop with civil war?

[D]

He means reenactment reconstruction.

[B]

No, I mean reconstruction.

[A]

Reconstruction during the Civil War.

[D]

Oh, oh, the actual historical reconstruction.

[B]

I crack open a book, for God's sake.

[D]

I'm sorry, I thought you're making a reenactment joke.

[B]

I'm going to be working with my dogs.

[D]

These.

[B]

These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Just gotta get a hold of us. Call, text or email. Get all the contact information you [e-mail]. this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[B]

Clues.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Thank O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. the news desk, it's Christy Lee.

[C]

Hello.

[A]

Jess Hooker joins us. Hello. There's Josh Arnold. Hi. No relation to Benedict. He's over there at the sidekick chair, there's Ace Cosby.

[D]

Hello.

[A]

I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom. I have a world record for you, evidently.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

But before we get to that, this just ends.

[D]

Tom, did you know I had a. I had a teacher. I was in grade school. I was fourth grade. And she was one of my favorite teachers of all time, Mrs. Chase. But when she first met me, she was doing roll call on the first day of school, and she goes, josh Arnold. And I was like. I raised my hand. And then she goes, arnold the pig from Green Acres. And the other students quickly started saying, arnold the pig. And I saw in her eyes, oh, no, what did I just do to this poor child?

[A]

So did that make it a. Okay. Kind of. When she was. Showed remorse, it.

[D]

It. You know what? It never caught on.

[A]

Oh, good.

[C]

So when you were in third grade,

[B]

you were a slender young man.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Had you not.

[D]

You weren't.

[B]

You weren't a chubby young.

[D]

No, I was a chubby kid. You know, it was weird. I would go back and forth like I was. I was like Rob Thomas in grade school. I would. Yeah, what is that with me?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

But in this case, I was in that time. I was chubby. But it did not catch on. It was almost like there was a collective unconscious of, no, we're not. We're not doing that.

[B]

That was nice. My favorite story of this ilk, there was a guy that I went to a school with. High school. I'm doing all boys high school. You know, coat and tie, the whole thing. And if my friend Clint is listening who went to school with me, he'll remember this one. There was a guy, everyone called him by his nickname, which was Boner. I can't give his last name, but his last name had a certain phallic ring to it.

[E]

Oh, okay.

[B]

So it would make sense.

[A]

His last name, Dickey.

[B]

Without any further guesses. You're very close. Okay. Just leave it right there.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But of course, the teachers did not refer to him as Boner.

[D]

Sure.

[B]

Except one time when one of the guys slipped, which just proved that. That behind. When the teachers were talking about the teachers. They were.

[C]

They know.

[A]

Teachers are people, too.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, they knew. I bet.

[D]

The class erupted.

[B]

Oh, God. One of the great moments of all time. I'm surprised it didn't make the yearbook, frankly. In any event, I'm. I'm not sure what. How Boner's doing these days. Well, he didn't graduate with us.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

There was a problem.

[E]

We had a boner at our school. It Was because his first sexual experience. I think the girl said something along the line of it was a little boner. And so it was lil boner. And then it was just boner. And it's. Now we're 45 and it's still boner.

[D]

Wow.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

And didn't you have a guy that.

[B]

Now how do you know that it wasn't meant to be? Like when you call, you know, a giant guy's nickname is Tiny.

[E]

Maybe. Maybe that's what it was. Yeah.

[B]

All guys. Curly. Maybe just in this guy's defense, since he's still out there.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Very.

[B]

Let's assume that.

[E]

Yeah. And I have a horrible memory.

[B]

Memory.

[E]

So maybe.

[A]

And didn't you go. Go to school with a guy who was allergic to.

[E]

Well, there was a kid who wore sweatpants to school every day and he told us it was because he was allergic to denim. And so we called him Gene.

[D]

That's very good.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Ever heard of that? Allergic to denim.

[E]

I don't think that was the case. Yeah.

[B]

It's all out there. Who knows? It's time now to check in with the sporting scene.

[A]

I have an amazing world record I think is going to please. I know is going to please Chris.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

But I am somewhat interested in this as well. Chick, if you would. Well, thank you. Stupid world record. I'm learning from Thomas. I don't need anybody to respond. That's right. You don't.

[D]

You're welcome.

[A]

A parade on Route 66. You go Route 66 or Route 66.

[C]

I say root.

[B]

Root. It's root in the song.

[A]

Route 66 in Oklahoma has broken the Guinness World record for the largest parade of classic cars.

[C]

Oh, my.

[A]

How about that? Tulsa's Route 66 Capitol Cruise Classic car centennial parade. Also the longest title beat the previous record of 2,491. 2491. The old record. 35 96. The new record.

[D]

A handy win.

[A]

And the event marked the 100th anniversary of. Of Route 66.

[D]

Cool.

[C]

I want to do that trip. I got. I don't know where the letter went.

[D]

More stoplights than you'd think.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

We received a letter from someone who went from Chicago to Oklahoma, I think, or something and said it was wonderful. Just even that part.

[D]

Cool that the.

[C]

The motels have all been redone and refurbished. Really cool. Yeah.

[A]

I think federal law. There has to be a stoplight every mile and a half.

[D]

No, there's a portion through St. Louis where to quote Chevy Chase. Roll them up. I see.

[B]

Did you see any? We couldn't find a picture that had the whole parade in it.

[C]

I'm trying to, I'm watching a video.

[A]

It's just the cars feature drivers from 42 states. And of course, we have 60.

[B]

Every once in a while, a non classic car creeps in there.

[C]

Yeah, I just saw that too.

[B]

I'm like, you know, it's like this really cool, you know, that's a Dodge, that's a Camaro. And there's no, wait a minute. There's a, there's a Kia Sorento.

[C]

There's a Pontiac something.

[A]

You'd be surprised how recently cars are considered classic cars.

[C]

Well, there's an old model T now.

[B]

It's old to get the special plate in this state.

[A]

25.

[C]

25 years.

[A]

Yeah. So 2001 Ford Mustang is a classic car. How's that make you feel?

[B]

I'd much rather have a. Oh, there's a Chevy. It was a Mustang. I'd much rather have, like when you hear the 68 convertible, it's like when

[D]

you hear the Red Hot Chili Peppers on a classic rock station.

[E]

Mark has a, has a classic car plate on his new car.

[A]

Is that right?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Huh.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

I did not know that.

[B]

What year is it?

[C]

It's a Camry from like.

[E]

Yeah, it's a Toyota.

[C]

Toyota camry from way back.

[E]

97 maybe.

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

You want to have like a 67 GTO?

[E]

Yeah, I, I, But I think it's funny that he got one.

[D]

Great.

[C]

A GTO just went by in the video. Oh, I thought of you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's so nice.

[C]

Oh, and there's some donkeys too. This looks like a fun trip.

[E]

That is a classic.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

Donkeys.

[D]

That's very classic. Yeah.

[C]

There were donkeys.

[A]

There are donkeys.

[C]

This is in Arizona. This is a different parade, but there are donkeys right in the middle of this.

[B]

Do they have. What are those things called? I'm. I've got a something cars. No, the things that the Transformers more

[D]

than meets the eye.

[B]

You know, the Transformers that turn into monsters and stuff.

[A]

You mean the Bumblebee?

[B]

Their cars?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Do they have like classic cars that turn into old timey monsters? Would that make sense?

[D]

Oh, that's funny.

[B]

So like, you'd have like a. Hey, how are ya?

[D]

Good to see you out there. Yeah.

[B]

Or do they ever do that? I don't know.

[D]

Maybe I've not. I'm not totally up on the Transformer universe. Yeah.

[B]

Now, one of the great classic cars, the Monster Mobile, the Dragula. Awesome.

[A]

You consider that that's a classic car.

[B]

And the Batmobile.

[C]

Those are novelty cars. That's a whole different genre.

[A]

What about the monkey mobile?

[B]

Awesome.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I think I had a model of the monkey.

[C]

Did you really?

[E]

What's the monkey mobile?

[A]

It was a. I don't know what car. Like a barracuda, I think something like

[C]

the band the Monkeys.

[E]

Okay, gotcha.

[C]

It was a Pontiac gto. Oh, there you modified. Yeah.

[E]

Do you remember the chicken car?

[D]

The what?

[E]

The chicken car.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Or is that just a local thing?

[B]

That's a local thing. The guy's got like a six foot chicken head on top of a limo.

[E]

My dad used to rent it and drive it for bachelorette park parties.

[B]

Like.

[A]

Yes.

[E]

Friends would pay him.

[A]

How about that?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, is the joke that. It's a big. Is that the gag?

[E]

I think that was.

[D]

Oh, you get your mind out of the gutter.

[B]

No, it's a giant chicken.

[D]

It's just disgusting.

[C]

Come on.

[D]

How your brain works.

[C]

Why are you talking about giant monkey mobile?

[D]

Funny.

[C]

Yeah. I didn't put a soft top on it.

[A]

Oh, yeah. That's fun, huh?

[B]

Know this?

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Something that you think something came out yesterday.

[D]

I eat my kicks on Route 66. Oh, mother. Kid tested. Mother approved.

[A]

And what.

[B]

Who was.

[A]

This is a TV show with George Maharis and Martin Milner.

[B]

Yeah. This is Nat King Cole. Travel My Way, Take the Highway.

[A]

That's the best.

[D]

Do today's kids know about Nat King Cole?

[B]

Six. Oh, my God. That guy can play.

[D]

That's fantastic.

[B]

Yeah. That was the great song. Roots. And it was a TV show, as you mentioned.

[D]

Was it any good?

[B]

Before my time. Looks cool.

[D]

Did it only take.

[C]

That's the first time I've ever heard

[A]

you say it was on the radio.

[B]

Then as a connoisseur of older television,

[E]

you made all of us do a double take.

[A]

Yeah. What? Before his time. A guy who. Like a guy who swears by Hank.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Has not. Before his time.

[B]

Route 6, the TV show Hank, which I loved as a kid. There's a terrific novel.

[D]

What'd you do?

[B]

I'm not kidding. There's a great book out there.

[A]

A novel about Hank.

[B]

Yeah, it's a very well written book. The guy that played Hank. Think was this a closeted gay gentleman who ends up getting brutally murdered in real life?

[E]

Okay.

[B]

And it's. It's really a great story and a terrific.

[D]

That is.

[B]

That's.

[C]

I'm calling you out on this fodder for comedy. You could have watched it.

[A]

The same thing happened to a murder

[D]

of a closeted man.

[B]

No, no, but he was. He was an actor and a jeweler. It was. It's a great story.

[A]

Bob Denver and Alan Hale, Jr.

[B]

Lover. Okay, coming up, we have. I'll try this on Ms. Hooker, since you guys don't know the headline is foreskin reconstruction. It has nothing to do with the Civil War. Do you get the reference?

[A]

Will you stop invoking the Civil War?

[C]

Yeah, I don't.

[A]

There's no need to do that.

[C]

There is no need. There's no connection.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yes, there is.

[C]

No, there's. Other than you reading foreskin blown off in the Civil War, which could have happened.

[A]

Wait a minute.

[B]

Let me. Let that. Let that simmer.

[A]

What happened? Boy, I got my foreskin blown up.

[D]

Brother against brother, and I. I lost my Silly Putty.

[A]

Clean off.

[B]

Still works, though. Just took off the foreskin.

[A]

Well, they made me something. I can pee out of

[B]

a pretty,

[D]

but it does the trick.

[B]

Thank you. Thank you, Johnny. Rebuild. Reconstructing. As in reconstructive surgery? Yes, on the foreskin. Not reconstruction, as in what you probably skipped in history along with everybody else in this room.

[A]

He's still talking.

[B]

Okay, fine. Welcome to the Bob and Tom Book Club. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning, even though we're not too much to look at. You can also watch the show on our YouTube channel.

[B]

Channel that'll tell you something.

[A]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. Christy Lee at the new desk.

[B]

Any car, any classic car you can have, regardless of price. What's it going to be? Let's go around the horn right now. Yeah.

[C]

I would buy my dad's car, which was a Studebaker Golden Hawk 1957.

[B]

Nice.

[C]

And it was on Bring a trailer last week and I came real close. It sold for 43. 5, but we just don't have any place to put it.

[B]

Well, I'm sure your dad would be really pleased that he wasn't meaningful enough for you.

[C]

Oh, it's gonna happen someday.

[B]

Get an extra garage. I'm sorry.

[C]

Where am I gonna get an extra garage? Drop it from the heavens. What the hell?

[B]

I'll call Mark. We'll build you one.

[A]

Honey, we need to move again.

[B]

Josh.

[A]

Arnold.

[B]

Any classic car.

[D]

Give me a Dodge Challenger. No kidding. Maybe from like a muscle car, like the McQueen era, that kind of thing.

[A]

Yeah. Hooker.

[E]

I've never considered it. I hate to be a downer, but, like, maybe like an old Pickup truck or something? Yeah, an old F150 and get like the wood side boards and stuff and. Yeah, I would want it to be functional.

[B]

Chick McGee.

[A]

I was just looking up. I wanted to be sure. I don't want an MG Midget. I want an mgb.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Which is a little bigger than.

[B]

Yeah, well, you can just go to a funeral home and get a casket and put wheels on it. Oh, okay.

[A]

But the way I drive, I mean, you know, I'd probably put seven miles

[C]

on a car a week.

[A]

Seven, seven, 800 miles on that. A year.

[B]

You know, every time I see the doordash guy go, you going to the chicks and I next?

[A]

That's right. They. They send me emails going, where you been, buddy?

[C]

Okay.

[B]

An early suv, like an Isuzu Trooper.

[D]

Two door Troopers.

[B]

Yeah, I had. I had one of those.

[C]

So what would you get?

[B]

Oh, boy, there's so many. Probably a GTO. Yeah, maybe early 70s GTO. Were you not convertible? Of course.

[A]

GTO stood for Go to Ohio. Did you. You.

[B]

I didn't know that.

[A]

Hear that?

[B]

Yeah, we called it the Goat before the word goat was ruined by Greatest Amy.

[A]

But I'm. I'm missing your insult.

[B]

Amy. Instead of saying mvp, they're saying goat, which I hate. There's a lot of.

[A]

Oh, you also hate Mount Rushmore too?

[B]

That phrase. Yeah, they stopped. That's kind of going on. That's kind of over.

[A]

Like the four greatest players.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

The mountain of Mount Rushmore.

[A]

Rushmore quarterbacks.

[B]

Yeah, that was real big. Big bro. There was. It had its shining moment. It's over, fortunately, but I think goat's gonna stick around for a while.

[E]

Yeah, goat applies to a lot of things, though.

[B]

But MVP was much better.

[A]

What about.

[B]

No, it didn't need to. It didn't need to be changed. They're changing things. They don't need to change.

[A]

What about mop? Most outstanding player? I think that fits them.

[B]

You associate a mop with toilet cleaning?

[C]

No. Mothers of preschoolers.

[E]

That's what I.

[C]

There's a mop club. Yeah.

[B]

All these. All these letters. I can't keep up.

[E]

Up.

[B]

Dtf.

[A]

You need to get.

[D]

You don't have to worry about.

[B]

Isn't that the defensive tackle? No.

[A]

You need to learn more letters. Asap.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Asap.

[B]

Now, is that guy. That guy who's. Is. Does he go by. Is it. What's his name? Like Wally? Asap or.

[A]

Huh?

[D]

Oh, Asap Rocky.

[B]

Oh, that's it. Yeah. Is it ASAP or is it. Is it ASAP Rocky?

[E]

It's asap, Rocky.

[B]

Asap. Okay. Sorry.

[A]

If I'm a wannabe rapper, my name's Wallace. I'm going with Wally. Asap. Wally.

[B]

I forget what it was. I'm sure he's very talented.

[C]

Wallet.

[E]

There's a wallet. That's a rapper.

[A]

Wale is a big Washington football team fan. He's. He's at the.

[B]

Okay. Well, have we completed what one was? I consider.

[A]

I'm wearing headphones. I hear myself.

[B]

Yeah, I couldn't care less.

[A]

Stomps.

[B]

Let's see now.

[A]

Yeah, this just in for Tom. There you go.

[B]

Do we have donkeys in the news?

[A]

I thought we did when they were yesterday. Donkey in the parade.

[C]

Well, there was a donkey in a classic car parade.

[A]

And what state was the donkey in?

[C]

Arizona.

[A]

Oh, I think Arizona has donkeys. Like the rest of the country has squirrels.

[C]

Or like Australia has kangaroos. They're just wild everywhere, man.

[A]

You hit a kangaroo, you know it. Okay.

[D]

You do it gets up and it punches your headlights out.

[A]

That's right. Oh, they instinctually start punching. Did you know that? And they can balance on their tail.

[D]

I forget what your. The amount was, but I once asked you how much you would pay to watch Tom box a kangaroo. It was an exorbitant amount that you.

[A]

A hundred thousand dollars.

[B]

Hey, if I get. I'll take it. Christy Lee, we've been talking about this foreskin reconstruction. Do you have the story?

[C]

It's becoming. No, I'm gonna say no. I'm kidding. Becoming a growing trend among some men who say they want greater sensitivity and a feeling of being whole again. Feeling the procedure divided amongst doctors. Some surgeons say the benefits are unproven and warn of risks including infection, scarring, wound healing problems, and changes in sensitivity. The surgery typically involves grafting skin from another part of your body onto the penis. Patients turn to DIY for skin renewal as well.

[B]

They do this chicken. And there was an online. There was a really long article.

[A]

I. I think it was in the New Yorker.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. The one in the New Yorker was about the penis extension movement. And you don't want to do that.

[A]

You wear. Believe me, you wear a series of weights.

[B]

This thing, this foreskin thing. Yeah, it's a series of weights.

[A]

The penis extension involves cutting a muscle, I think, or something, and. And kind of getting the penis away from the body so it appears longer.

[B]

All this.

[A]

All the stuff.

[B]

Stuff is horrific. Don't do it. And then. But this foreskin article, I would. They literally. I mean, they're taking, like, little weights and dangling them.

[E]

Yeah, man.

[C]

Gradually Stretching it until it covers the head of the penis. That's what they're doing with the skin on your penis. One major drawback is it can take months, even years to even see any progress. So good luck with that.

[B]

Yeah, save your money. Go to a psychiatrist. It should be pretty sensitive the way it is. A friend of mine's dad had to get circumcised as an adult. Oh, my friend.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah, he joined the army.

[C]

What's going on? Really? I was kidding.

[B]

My buddy. No, serious. I. My buddy Mal. His dad joined the. In World War II.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

Like 43 or 44. Yeah, they. They did. They. I don't know how if that was standard procedure, but in his case, they.

[D]

There were complications that could arise they didn't want arising on the battlefield.

[A]

Please, people want to know this. Tom, did anything happen to you after 1965? Anything at all?

[B]

Anything interesting? Yeah, no. This is my buddy from high school. But, yeah, his dad talked about. It was not. Not pleasant.

[D]

I had to have sucked.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, I would say, no, I'm not going to the army then. Fine. Thank you.

[B]

As Bob used to always say, I was circumcised when I was a little baby and I couldn't walk for two years. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It has its side effects, but this is a real thing. Guys are actually, you know, they stake

[A]

the babies out, right?

[D]

They what?

[A]

They stake them out when they circumcised.

[D]

I.

[E]

That's one of the most traumatic experiences is hearing my child, like, get circumcised.

[C]

Yeah, Yeah.

[D]

I mean, but better now than when they're.

[E]

I know, but still.

[B]

And it's. It. It varies, obviously, culture to culture, but this extension as an adult having the foreskin added. I have a friend who's on a list.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

For a transplant. Yeah. I don't know if. When you get your driver's license, you sign up, do you want to donate your eyes, your liver, your.

[A]

Don't you.

[B]

Penile tissue?

[A]

Aren't you working with an organization that donates?

[B]

Well, that. That's not just the. That's not the circumcision organization. It's like Locks of Love. It's just.

[A]

Just when you get Slightly.

[B]

Yeah, slightly Make a donation.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow. So now we have. Not only do we have penile news

[C]

today, this story really pisses me off.

[B]

I stumbled on this Christy, and I thought you ladies could weigh in.

[C]

Okay. Because this is something we have known since, like, sixth grade when we had the little videos that talk to us about our vaginas and how to take Care of them.

[D]

Well, let's see if it's something we know.

[C]

Health experts shared some. Some vaginal health tips. Douching with soda to survive the summer.

[D]

No, remember that.

[B]

Remember Pepsi, not Coke for birth control

[C]

or effervescent gynecologist spoke to thehealthy.com and said you should one change out of your wet swimsuit as soon as possible.

[E]

Yeah, that's the first thing I thought.

[C]

Warm. Most environments, of course, cause bacteria to grow. We all know that.

[B]

So you were always told that.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

You get all yeasty. Listen to these guys. They're like backup singers. Yes.

[B]

We're trying to mansplain vaginal healthcare and you guys are getting upset.

[C]

Change out sweaty yoga pants should do that, too.

[B]

Leave them on, girls.

[D]

No, nothing hotter. They can change into fresh pants.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Tom, you like a dirty.

[E]

All right.

[C]

Oh, come on.

[A]

Dirty.

[B]

Huge, huge fan of yoga pants. Dear God, I hope they never go away.

[D]

Yeah, but we're not saying get rid of yoga pants. We're saying change out of the sweaty ones.

[B]

Josh, I'm going to have to take you with me to go some iced tea. My iced tea place is right next to the place where all the ladies are putting on the yoga pants. You'll. You'll.

[D]

You'll.

[B]

You'll come around.

[D]

I'm aware. I hang out outside of curbs.

[A]

We can go somewhere and. We can go somewhere and watch them put on yoga pants.

[B]

No, no, no, no. They get all hot and sweaty, then they come to my iced tea place. They. Okay, there's a scent. Oh, it's awesome.

[A]

Oh, God.

[C]

Oh, you are crazy.

[D]

If you've ever smelled a yeast infection, it is not an awesome scent.

[B]

Ever.

[D]

Ever had a good.

[B]

Ever had a good hunk of sourdough bread with. It's nothing like a little garlic butter.

[A]

It's a mixture of cookies and battery acid.

[B]

When we come back, we'll help you with.

[D]

And you ladies will be quiet while we teach you about vaginas.

[C]

All right?

[A]

But first we want to teach you about memories. That's right. Photographic memories.

[B]

The aura frame. I. A friend of mine called me yesterday, and he said, I butt dialed you,

[D]

and then hung up.

[A]

Sorry, I didn't mean to call you, Tom. No, I. I. What? I did. Tom. I. He.

[B]

He said to me, you're. You are so excited about these aura frames. Do you really like them? And I went, are you kidding? I really love. I had. I. As soon as we started talking about these, I went out and bought one.

[A]

Are you crazy?

[B]

They're great. And I Think this is the future because the aura frame is one right behind Josh there. There's us with a Hugh Jackman. We got to add some new photos to.

[E]

We do. We have a lot to add.

[B]

And I could do it. That's the thing. You can add photographs to this thing. It's like an old fashioned slideshow without the sound.

[A]

You just put the pictures there in the back of the frame. Right. And then.

[B]

Yeah, it's funny, you could do it on your phone. So what? My particular friend that called me, he wants to get one for Father's Day for his dad. And then the idea is every couple days he'll, you know, his dad will go down to his office and there the frame will be and it'll be rotating through. Oh, there's a new picture. You can put videos on them. They're just great, you know, really is a terrific. What are you looking at? What's the photograph that you're laughing at? Okay. Is that me and the. When I'm dressed up like George Washington?

[A]

You know that guy who called Thomas telling his significant other. I. I just hope he doesn't answer. Maybe I'll leave a voicemail.

[B]

Hello?

[A]

Oh my God. Under his breath.

[B]

Where was I? Oh, I know. I was trying to tell everybody how cool the aura frame is.

[A]

You know, that's not fair because I've called Tom like two or three and he goes, yes, sir. Every time I call him, it's the same thing. Yes, sir. It's lovely.

[B]

You're in a special club. I almost never answer my phone.

[A]

Don't ever, don't ever not do that. I love it.

[B]

Okay, remember before the old days, when it was. When it was.

[A]

Hang on. What about the old days?

[B]

Christy's just itching to get back to her story about the vajayjay.

[C]

Oh, yeah, that's me.

[B]

And I do mean itching.

[C]

I am not itching.

[B]

Okay, let me explain how it works. You can preload an ORA frame, send it to your dad. We do get love letters about these all the time. And we have a free unlimited storage. You put as many photos or videos as you want on one of these babies. The Carver mat frame, that's the one we have here in the studio, is awesome. They make it easy to shop. By the way, I should point this out. The aura frame, named number one by wire cutter, you can save now on a bunch of different ones. Now they've, they've upped it here by going to. Going to auraframes.com Bob and Tom show listeners can knock 35 bucks off select frames with the code. Tom, this is a terrific gift. If I had three arms, I'd give it three thumbs up. A U R auraframes.com promo code is. Tom, this is the best gift for dads out there. And please do us a favor. Mention to the aura folks that you heard about it on the Bob and Tom show. We'd appreciate that. That. And then, of course, I have to go. Terms and conditions apply. What is going to apply is the joy that someone's going to get out of one of these babies. They're great. Now, coming up, we have more of a JJ talk. Christy and Hooker insist on enlightening us.

[C]

Yeah, we insist. All right.

[B]

Okay. And I understand you're going to both change into some hot, sweaty yoga pants.

[C]

I'm wearing yoga pants. You never notice.

[B]

Yeah, I can't see. All I can see you was from the belly button up where the desk was.

[A]

Did you see. Did you hear that? I'm wearing it. Yoga pants. You never notice.

[B]

What kind of pants am I wearing?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

See, you never notice.

[E]

Jeans.

[C]

You got on jeans. You always wear jeans.

[A]

You never wear sweatpants.

[B]

What kind of shoes am I wearing?

[C]

You're wearing boots. Those ski boots. Brown or black? I don't know. Black maybe. Because you're wearing black shirt.

[B]

Today's the black. You're welcome. Now we'll come back with that.

[A]

Also welcome.

[B]

Also we have. This is a really interesting thing. We had a letter about this a couple weeks ago. How would you feel if your best friend started dating your ex?

[D]

I'd be so too. I mean, I don't know.

[B]

We'll find out. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee at the news desk.

[C]

Happy to be here.

[A]

There's Jess Hooker.

[E]

Hi.

[A]

There's Josh Arnold.

[B]

My sincerity meter on the. Christy Lee's happy to be here.

[C]

I am happy to be here.

[B]

Hovering around a two out of ten.

[A]

There's Ace Cosby.

[C]

A little sleepy, but I'm okay.

[D]

I'm freezing in here. Chick.

[E]

Freezing.

[A]

I touched nothing.

[C]

I touched nothing.

[E]

No, I'm just so cold.

[B]

No, I honestly think there's. There's a guy somewhere in some strange City at 8:15 as a joke. Oh, no, he did. Whenever. Now I think it's at random.

[D]

It's unacceptable.

[E]

Yeah, I blame Met.

[B]

It's like the guy. It's like the guy at the car wash place when you do that. I love to go to the place where you wash it yourself. And you put the spray thing. Yeah, because. Because when you're spraying, you can't see the countdown meter because the meter's on the thing over there. You know what I'm talking about?

[C]

Nope.

[B]

You put in your credit card, you get seven minutes to wash your car. And they did a scientific study.

[C]

Minutes. That's not enough.

[B]

Of course not. That's the whole thing. Now, that used to be you could. You could, like, for two bucks, get yourself another four minutes or something. I just think there's actually some guy at their headquarters, at their national headquarters going, watch this. When it hits six, it goes down to four without you looking. And then later, he's got it all soaped up.

[D]

Turn it off.

[B]

That's what's happening with their air conditioning. There's some guy in an office somewhere watching the cameras on YouTube going, I'm gonna watch this.

[A]

Isn't it enough for you to go to a car wash place and. And run through the. You know, the car wash instead of actually hand washing it yourself in a

[B]

bay Kelly's car can't throw to the

[A]

car wash. Is that right?

[B]

It's got a rack on it that they can't. Won't go through.

[A]

So.

[B]

Okay. I wash it by hand. It's fun. I love washing cars.

[D]

Those. Those brushes, they're real liberal with the soap, and that could be fun. It just plops out of there.

[B]

Oh, yeah, Absolutely. That is a great observation.

[A]

Plop, plop.

[B]

What else in our culture is there way too much of radio? No, but you're right. That foam brush.

[D]

Yeah. That can be really great.

[B]

And then you'll pull in from the guy behind you, and there's six inches of foam there. It's like they just had to land a crashing plane at an airport, and they foam up the Runway.

[A]

Is it like Christmas when you find a little bit of time left on the wand when you pull in?

[D]

Oh, I bet.

[B]

I got to admit it. I'm a. A twofer. I.

[C]

What do you mean, a twofer?

[B]

I go, 14 minutes.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Why not? Why not?

[B]

I put the card in, and then that when it gets down to the bottom, I go back and do it again.

[D]

You know what we could get better at, though, as a society is the. The windshield washing stations at gas stations.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What is the odor?

[A]

They're almost. Well, they're almost always empty.

[D]

Yeah, they're almost always empty. Very. Like, mostly devoid of any kind of cleaning solution.

[B]

There's some weird odor.

[D]

Yes. I Think that's mostly dead bugs rotting in the still water.

[E]

Gross.

[D]

Yeah, I can get. We can get better at that.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Bugs on our windshields as we used to, though.

[D]

You're not.

[C]

No, I'm not.

[D]

Oh, I get it. Mine's a magnet.

[C]

Are you serious?

[D]

It looks like. It looks like I drove through a mustard fight.

[C]

Really?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm happy to hear that. Actually.

[B]

I like this notion of what is really insignificant in contemporary culture that we need to fix. And this is one of the things this is really. Doesn't really affect too much, but. Yeah, I agree with you.

[D]

Yeah, those can get better. I'd be willing to pay $0.03 more a gallon to have a permanent windshield wiper filler person.

[E]

Okay. You want an attendant.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

To always make sure that those are okay. I want to do it myself, but I want to make sure somebody is always on top of that.

[B]

Three cents a gallon is pretty pricey.

[D]

I'm willing to do it.

[A]

Well, the answer is what? We could all do better on airplanes.

[D]

True.

[A]

Come on. Fights. Yeah.

[B]

Again, I've told.

[A]

Trying to open the doors.

[B]

We take torpedo tube technology, which they've had since what, 1930 something. We put a torpedo tube on airplanes and one of these guys acts up. Like happened yesterday in the plane. Sir, you want to open the. You. He. This guy wanted to open the door, Right? We need a real you tie him up, put him in the tomato and then let him go.

[A]

We need a real solution. Not one of your comic book reasons.

[B]

No, no, this is. This is a real solution.

[A]

No, it's not. You can't kill people.

[B]

Yes, you can. We're not killing enough of them.

[D]

I think we need more flights. There are too many sold out flights. And I know it's a crazy expensive. And they're trying to. It's just. But you don't like to fly unacceptably crowded. You don't have to fly anywhere because of that.

[E]

Yeah, I saw the inside of a plane from the 70s. It was nuts. How much room there were like full seat width between each seat.

[D]

It's crazy.

[E]

Ashtrays, ashtrays, Lots of ashtrays.

[B]

Who are they kidding with the no smoking section of an airplane?

[E]

Yeah. I don't know.

[C]

They put everybody in the back in the smoking section. Remember that?

[B]

Like it's not gonna drift up front.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, come on. Well, so we've solved some interesting problems here. Now, when we last left you, you. We were trying to mansplain vaginal healthcare to the ladies. What is the source of this?

[C]

This is from thehealthy.com. they're gynecologists who we change your wet swimsuits. Change out of sweaty yoga pants. Now we're at Wear breathable underwear made from natural fibers. Every woman knows that.

[B]

Underwear with little lungs on it.

[C]

For God's sake.

[D]

That's right.

[C]

Cotton.

[A]

Cotton breeze. Tom.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Sleep naked. Here's one. Sleeping in the nude gives everything down there a chance to breathe.

[A]

All right, you have children running.

[B]

Wait a second. So now we've got a. Now we've got a tip.

[C]

I was always taught to sleep without underwear on. Ah, that gives it. And your nightgown. Yes, in your nightgown.

[D]

Like shorts are okay because they're loose

[C]

and probably my pajama pants are loose.

[B]

But Chick raises a good point that as soon as you have kids.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You realize you. You've got a right.

[A]

You can't.

[B]

You got to have underwear on.

[E]

Yeah. But she's saying no underpants, not bottomless. Yeah.

[C]

This is still covered. Yeah. This says sleep naked, but yeah, you're right. I never.

[B]

Because something comes up and all of a sudden there's a kid standing there staring at you. Well, I can't help you get a glass of water right now because daddy's naked. No, not going to. Not going to. Too awkward.

[A]

Daddy.

[D]

My kids are going to have to put up with it. I'll never notice. Not sleep naked.

[C]

And my husband sleeps naked too.

[B]

Well, Josh, here's what's going to happen.

[A]

Well, that's.

[B]

You're going to have. You're going to have a couple of seven year olds having a sleepover.

[D]

They'll learn to avert their eyes.

[B]

And then when the. When the police come to your house,

[D]

the police will learn to avert their eyes.

[A]

That's your house, isn't it?

[C]

Mr. A.R.

[B]

was at the refrigerator in the middle

[A]

of the night all naked. Mom.

[D]

I had a neighbor come over to my house the other day to bring me me. She cooked too much chicken and was offering me some chicken.

[B]

So she listens to the show and I was in.

[D]

No, she would. Trust me. She would never.

[B]

Thank you for the laugh.

[D]

I.

[E]

Love.

[A]

She genuinely piss him off.

[E]

She brought you chicken?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Chicken. Yeah.

[D]

And I was in my boxers.

[A]

Was it fried, Fried chicken or boiled?

[D]

I opened the door and I hood. I stood. I stood behind the door and I go, I'm in my boxers.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And she was like, okay. And then just still handed me the chicken.

[E]

Is she married?

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

And then she goes, are they the red ones or those striped ones you had on yesterday, I was just looking through my telescope.

[D]

I'd be shocked.

[C]

So when you're home alone, just like hanging out in the evening, you just wear boxers?

[D]

This was a Sunday morning, okay? Yeah, and where was I going with this?

[A]

So if you were going to church on Sunday morning, you wear your boxers.

[C]

No.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

No, you. Where you were going was. If you ever have kids, you say you're. You're always going to. And I'm saying you. You chica's right. You. You have to stop.

[D]

Did I do. Did I do the right thing or should I have taken the time to run upstairs?

[B]

No, you did the right thing.

[D]

Okay?

[E]

But I would have said, hey, I'm just wearing shorts. I wouldn't have said I was just in my underwear.

[B]

And the fact that you hid behind a screen door while shoving your crotch against the.

[D]

Not enough screening.

[B]

Maybe you should have gone for the.

[D]

I probably should.

[E]

You know what? We'll find out if she ever brings you anything ever again.

[B]

So how was the chicken? Yeah, how was the chicken?

[D]

Just delicious.

[B]

Oh, can you have her make some for us?

[D]

Oh, gosh, no, no, no.

[B]

She would never, never listen to the show.

[A]

She doesn't care for our kind.

[D]

No, I mean, I tell her I work for accounts receivable.

[A]

That's what I do. I'm an advertiser.

[B]

Was it fried chicken?

[D]

I'm sorry, no, it was grilled. Grilled. Delicious.

[E]

Nice.

[D]

Grilled chicken.

[B]

Okay, very good. Okay, I'm sorry, Christy. We're back to vaginal health. What'll you do?

[C]

Cleanse gently.

[E]

Yes, yes.

[A]

Scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub.

[B]

I think they recommend lava with pumice.

[D]

No.

[C]

Rinse regularly during the summer months. You should avoid using fragrant soaps or harsh products that can strip the vagina's natural protective oils and make irritation even worse.

[B]

What does this have to do with the summertime? Wouldn't this be kind of a year round activity?

[C]

That's why this is so ridiculous.

[E]

Somebody that doesn't have a vagina wrote this.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

What do you think?

[C]

Shave and wax wisely. Which is, of course.

[B]

I'm sorry, what now?

[C]

Shave and wax wisely?

[E]

Yeah, that's like. That's. The hair down there is protective. It's supposed to be there. Your vagina is a self cleaning oven. You don't need to add anything extra. Do anything.

[D]

You don't need to shave or wax.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

I shave.

[E]

No, I'm not saying you don't need need to. I'm just saying it's there for a reason. So is armpit hair.

[A]

Oh, come on. Filthy ugly. Just hair removal.

[B]

Go take some LSD and listen to the dead, you hippie chick with bushy, bushy armpits.

[C]

Hair removal.

[B]

I asked a friend of mine not too long ago, what do you miss? Both. What do you miss? What do you miss most about the 70s and early 80s? Went pubic hair.

[D]

Huh.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah, well, what am I saying?

[E]

A way to still have it.

[B]

There's some guys.

[E]

I keep it maintained.

[D]

I mean, did your friend.

[C]

Ladies, you should stay hydrated. Warmer weather can trigger more UTIs. So you're having more sex. Obviously they're sweatier.

[D]

You think moms aren't talking to their daughters as much about this stuff and the.

[C]

No, they are. This is just his way of wanting to talk about vaginas.

[D]

I see.

[C]

And then try a probiotic.

[E]

That's a big one too. That's good.

[C]

Yeah. Oral. Yeah.

[E]

Or just put some yogurt.

[A]

What about the amateur biotic?

[B]

Well, the. The thing about all this stuff, and I didn't give you the whole article, the next part of the article is about all of the. In fact, we've got another story that has the same theme, which is these. There is so much bad information on Tick Tock.

[C]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

And all of these social media places that. And people read them and they go, yeah, I'm supposed to bathe my vaginal cavity with Greek yogurt or some insane thing.

[D]

I get that.

[B]

But that's. That's for your. That's for your bunghole. I just read that yesterday on Tick Tock.

[D]

Make sure.

[B]

Yeah, I got the. I've got the apple. I've got the. The. The Greek yogurt applicator in my car.

[D]

Got a yogurt up my B hole.

[A]

I thought you supposed to take uncooked spaghetti and put it back there at this point. Then when it gets moist at this

[B]

point, the stuff that's out there, even the stuff that almost is a parody of things or is satirical, people are going to try it. It's so insane. Coming up, a little bit of a history lesson. Today's episode of the Ali Breen show will take place tomorrow.

[A]

Oh, she and London too busy.

[E]

She's at the French Open Open.

[C]

Of course she is.

[A]

Son of a guy. She robs banks is what she does.

[D]

Christy's a new shade of green dating.

[C]

Well, good for you.

[E]

This may be the new boyfriend she text yesterday. She goes, hey, guys, ended up in France for the French Open.

[D]

Boy, I'd rather be anywhere right else.

[E]

I'm gonna have to reschedule my segment. But I was just. I'm smiling.

[A]

I'm gonna have to go home.

[D]

Good for her. Christy says through gritted tea.

[C]

Oh, yeah, no, I have actually spoken with Ally.

[A]

You go, girl.

[C]

I think it's very great.

[D]

I'm so happy for you.

[B]

We just got it out. Okay, that'll be coming up tomorrow, but right now, I mean, that was full love. What have you got in your parade of cars over there?

[C]

Well, while the world watches the star at the FIFA World Cup, Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent.

[A]

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Hyundai.

[C]

Every day's a Hyundai. The future stars who are already turning heads at the age of 14. Because next doesn't wait for an invitation. And neither does Hyundai. Hyundai has always moved the future within reach. They did it when they made advanced safety standard on every vehicle and engineered EVs with ultra fast charging capability. And they're still doing it every day. Because the future isn't some far off concept. It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. I took a friend home last night and she got out of my car and she goes, wow, I really love your car. What are you driving? And I said, a Tucson hybrid. Thank you very much from Hyundai.

[B]

All right, thank you very much, Kristi Lee. Coming up, we're going to do some education, a little bit of history for. It's a good day in history.

[C]

Oh, good.

[B]

A lot of really exciting stuff.

[C]

June 3rd, huh? A lot of happen.

[B]

Yeah, it's a good day. If you have just something important today. Wait.

[A]

I'm skeptical.

[B]

You're not going to be able to squeeze it in.

[A]

What you think is what. John and Paul met today over a dinner of George Harrison or something. And Ringo was the waiter.

[D]

Moreno.

[B]

I'm going to pause for a moment. I want to do a little test here. We were talking about cool cars.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

And bands that are associated with cars. For example, the cars. I don't think the car. I don't think there was a car's car. That's a fair question, Josh.

[A]

The new night, the new 2026 candy.

[B]

Oh, the monkeys at the monkey mobile, etc.

[A]

Etc. He's still talking.

[B]

The. The Beatles didn't really have a car, per se, but on the COVID of Abbey Road there is. What,

[E]

a crosswalk?

[C]

There's a Volkswagen Bug.

[B]

There is a Volkswagen Bug. Or as I call it, the fifth Beetle. Thank you.

[D]

It was cute.

[B]

It was worth. It was worth the wait.

[A]

Yeah, why not?

[D]

I think.

[B]

Why not go for that. Why not?

[A]

You know what if. If I didn't have so much existing animosity. Yes, I. I would have heartily laughed.

[B]

I think Beatles, Beatles fans enjoy that.

[A]

One of the.

[B]

One of the. One of the most famous covers in the history of rock and roll.

[A]

Very, very good.

[B]

We are going to return to the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios and this will still be the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Want to share a letter or comment? Our email is Bob and [e-mail]

[B]

the Butler Campus Saturday night.

[A]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. At the news desk, it's Christy Lee.

[C]

Hi.

[A]

Dress for the docs.

[C]

Yeah, baby.

[A]

Gonna unload that ship later.

[C]

My favorite shirt. Stop it.

[B]

I like it look like a stevedore.

[A]

No, the. The vest.

[C]

Well, it's cold in here.

[E]

Yeah, it is freezing.

[A]

There's Jess Hooker.

[E]

Here I am.

[A]

There's Josh Arnold.

[D]

Hello. Sometimes you just got to be silly.

[A]

You have some of the qualities of an only child. Did you know that?

[D]

And you know what I think they are? Middle child.

[E]

Very similar.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. There's Ace Cosby. I'm only child, Chick McGee. And there's Tom. Hello, Tom. Tom. Of course. Horse had two brothers and a sister.

[E]

He's a baby.

[A]

He would play grab ass with his brothers when they were on vacation in Michigan.

[B]

Doesn't grab ass.

[A]

Yes.

[E]

Any oldest siblings in here?

[C]

I am.

[E]

You're an oldest?

[C]

Oh, yeah. I'm a firstborn.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Would you be clothed when you would jump around on your bed with it?

[D]

Well, it is troubling the things he and his brothers.

[E]

I know, but it's.

[D]

No.

[B]

Upstairs at the cottage, there was a big room. Room with four beds in it.

[A]

Huh. And you and your brother and my

[B]

mom would issue us a one one towel and one of those clips. What are they called? Clothes pins.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. The clippy kind that have the spring on them.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

The clippy clothes pins.

[D]

Yeah, the clippy kind of clothes pin with a spring on them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

As opposed to. Because they're the ones that just have the shaft and the.

[E]

That look like.

[A]

Yeah, they're split.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, yes. That's fair.

[B]

So. So you'd have your name on your clip and then you'd get issued a towel.

[A]

Towel.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

And so. And then you'd hang up the towel outside and then, you know, which was your towel.

[D]

The point is, I hate your child.

[B]

We'd be upstairs after swimming in Little Traverse Bay, like Michigan. Thank you very much.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you take your towel. I'll talk to you, Ms. Hooker, sure.

[D]

She doesn't want to hear.

[B]

And you put your towel around your neck like this, like a cape. And you use that as a clip. And then you become bear man. Oh, and then you jump right into little brothers going, it's bear man. And then you, you leap around bed to bed and they think you're an insane little brother. And eventually they take your towel and throw it out the window. You see, because the windows open to the outside.

[A]

You gotta walk us through windows. Okay, let's.

[B]

Let's move forward here, please. It's time for today in history. This is a good day. There we go. This is interesting. President John Adams, in the year 1800, famously moved into. What? Anyone know Bad John?

[A]

The White House.

[B]

No, not yet. It wasn't there. In New York City, Philadelphia, in Washington, D.C. he moved into a tavern, a

[D]

deluxe apartment in the sky. Oh, a tavern.

[A]

That's kind of.

[B]

I mean, that's pretty cool. Can you imagine the President being in a tavern? I think the only guy in Washington lives in a tavern now is that new guy that runs the FBI.

[D]

Must be some.

[C]

I don't know anything about that NPR

[D]

type joke in there somewhere.

[B]

It's pretty funny. In 1956, on this date, rock and roll was banned in Santa Cruz, California.

[A]

And it should still be banned.

[B]

And if you know anything about Santa

[C]

Cruz, hey, ho ho, that seems kind of weird.

[A]

Rock and roll has got to go.

[C]

They're not surf music.

[B]

Yeah, they have a pretty good time in San.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And this is. I. I wanted to see what. How did this happen? So I did a little homework yesterday. There was a band. This is true. 1956, the band that got rock and roll band was called Chuck Higgins and his Orchestra.

[D]

Oh boy, they were rocked, didn't they, man?

[A]

You mean Chuck? Rock and roll.

[B]

It doesn't really sound so, like, sad.

[D]

You wouldn't have made. You wouldn't believe it.

[B]

The band occurred reaction to a dance party. 200 teenagers had packed the Santa Cruz Civic Auditorium on a Saturday night. Yeah, they did for Chick. Excuse me. Chuck Higgins and his orchestra. They were a group from Los Angeles. They had a hit record called the Pachuco Hop. The Santa Cruz police. The Santa Cruz police entered the auditorium after midnight to check on the event.

[A]

Does this sound like a Christopher Guest movie?

[B]

It gets Funnier. According to Lt. Richard Overton, the crowd was, quote, engaged in suggestive, stimulating and tantalizing motions.

[D]

I see.

[B]

Induced by provocative rhythms of an all negro band.

[D]

So there are a few things that these folks were upset about.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Sadly, rock and Roll was at the bottom of the list.

[B]

They were moving and grew. I wonder if we can get a copy of the Pachuco Hop for tomorrow. Tomorrow?

[E]

I bet not.

[D]

I did the pizookie hop at BJ.

[B]

Let's see. This is interesting. In 1965, I did it with my brothers.

[A]

I know that.

[B]

I'll talk to Jason, our producer, about this because he's the only one interested in the space program besides me.

[A]

Because

[B]

the first American astronaut.

[D]

I don't think it's all vague. I know it is.

[B]

The first American astronaut walked in space.

[A]

Ed White.

[B]

Very good. Chick McGee. Ed White. And what's interesting is it's not really walking.

[A]

Well, no, it's floating.

[B]

More floating. Michael Jackson, moonwalk. Ed White. Space float.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

He was tethered to the craft.

[C]

If he wasn't.

[A]

I'm just saying.

[B]

Listen to this. He had a 25 foot tether and he was controlling his movements with a handheld oxygen jet propulsion gun.

[E]

But still, it's wild the things they can do.

[B]

Isn't that cool?

[E]

Yeah, but.

[A]

Oh dear, this to the.

[B]

Of course he was tethered.

[C]

He could not be tethered. He'd be float away.

[A]

George Clooney wasn't tethered.

[C]

And look what happened to him.

[A]

Sure, he got killed, but still.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

He was floating. A space floater, not a space dancer. All those early astronauts were white guys. They don't want to be embarrassed.

[C]

What?

[A]

The last. Edward White.

[B]

The last episode of Star Trek aired on this date in 1969. That's hard to believe that. I mean, it really became popular after that.

[A]

Yeah, some things are like that.

[B]

Boldly go into syndication. Oh, speaking of that thing, we have the birthday in 1906 of Josephine Baker. All right. You know, she was.

[D]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

Very distinguished.

[D]

Yeah, very.

[B]

The first black woman to star in a major motion picture. The siren of the tropics, it was called. The first black man to star in a major motion picture. Of course. Al Joel Wilson.

[D]

Ah, yes, of course.

[A]

That's, that's. That and other things you've said.

[B]

People learn to take a joke. Educate yourself. 1926. Happy birthday. 100th birthday today. The poet Allen Ginsburg, the famous beat poet.

[D]

We had to read all that. We had to read Howell in college.

[B]

Didn't you like reading Howell in high school though? Because you got to use the F word in front of the teacher.

[D]

We didn't get to read it in high school. I didn't read it until I was.

[A]

And you look, you impress me as someone who would go to A howl, a thon out in the woods with San Francisco Muffy and the Skakel. It was the.

[B]

It was the other poem, America, where he goes. Go f yourself with your atomic bomb or something.

[D]

Oh, well, I thought how it had its moments, but yeah, sure. I didn't read it until I was at university.

[B]

See, it's not like I. I'm not gonna grab it this afternoon, reread it.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Oh, this is good.

[A]

Orc or whatever.

[B]

It was Audio. I got audio on this one. This is for Ms. Hooker. Do you know what this song is?

[C]

I don't know what the song is.

[A]

Oh, some crap version that is not.

[E]

This isn't the original.

[A]

It's a bad version. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

There we go.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Charles Boots Randolph.

[B]

Yeah, that's right. Boots Randolph. Happy birthday. Born in 1927.

[A]

Why would I lie about his name? Name?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I mean, I could.

[B]

That really is. First name.

[A]

I don't know. Felix. Boots Randall.

[B]

Felix, Boots Randall.

[A]

At least I have your attention now.

[B]

Josh, you're familiar with that, primarily from Benny Hill, Right?

[D]

Absolutely.

[C]

Yeah. We all are, man.

[A]

I never.

[C]

No, I knew it.

[B]

You know why he was called Boots?

[E]

No.

[B]

Because he got so much of that bull.

[D]

What? Puss and Boots.

[C]

Push.

[A]

Yeah. Where's. Where's Felix? Waiting. And Pussy.

[D]

Boots got away.

[B]

1929. You know who this is, Ms. Hooker? Chuck Barris.

[E]

I didn't think you were gonna say Barris.

[B]

No, Chuck Barris. He was the Bears production host of the Gong Show.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

He was a TV producer. He was.

[E]

I feel like I've seen that in cursive at the end of a show.

[B]

Yeah. He was extremely awkward as a host. And the show was like, imagine he was the host. Imagine taking random homeless people and having. Having them try to do talented stuff.

[A]

The Gong Show.

[D]

We'll be back with more stuff.

[B]

Yeah,

[D]

but he was just, as Tom said, he wasn't good at it.

[C]

Wasn't he in the CIA or something?

[B]

That's a.

[D]

It's a really compelling story.

[C]

I have not seen that and I want to.

[B]

He wrote the song. Palisades Park. There's a movie.

[A]

Didn't George Clooney have a Dangerous Mind?

[E]

Sounds like he did a lot.

[D]

He also wrote. He wrote that book and then he wrote a good book called who is Art Deco? That's fun.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Happy birthday. 1967. Anderson Cooper.

[C]

Very good.

[D]

Like, was it Andy Cohen's birthday yesterday?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You think they call him and quite. Anderson Cooper? Andy every. Hey, Andy.

[D]

Those two are fun together.

[E]

They Are. They are fun together.

[D]

I know they're not a couple.

[E]

No, they're not. No. I mean like they're a friend couple. Yes, very much.

[B]

You, you like that giggling New Year's Eve thing that he does?

[D]

Oh, I think they have a great time. I don't watch it.

[E]

They're doing a. A Fourth of July eve very similar to.

[A]

Oh, because New Year's Eve.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think it takes away from the gravitas of being a newscaster.

[E]

No, I think it's fun to see people be human.

[B]

Can you imagine? Yeah, you'd want to see Walter Cronkite out there.

[D]

Oh, for people. Are you kidding me?

[E]

Wouldn't you love that? Wouldn't you?

[B]

Walter Cronkite. Walter Cronkite.

[D]

I saw him fake cry at Kennedy's death.

[A]

Why not?

[C]

Right.

[E]

Let's see the other end of the spectrum.

[B]

Boy, do you call your mail member Little Josh?

[D]

She? No. Why?

[B]

I'm wondering if Anderson Cooper calls his Mini Cooper.

[D]

I kind of hope so.

[A]

Keep.

[C]

Keep him with our kind of funny.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Once again, pre existing animosity toward you prohibits me from laughing.

[B]

That's his. I told you it was a great day in history.

[D]

Well, you lied.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Yeah. But we've got to get a copy of Chuck Higgins and his orchestra that got that Pacheco stall.

[D]

It's got to be hilarious.

[B]

And Santa Cruz would a few years later become sort of the.

[A]

I've never heard of Santa Cruz having this reputation.

[D]

Right. Is. Are there bands from there or something?

[B]

Oh, it's. Oh, it's. Isn't that the Banana Slugs? Isn't that the home of the University of California, Santa Cruz?

[A]

I think it is The Banana.

[D]

Oh, it's a party school.

[B]

Oh, it's. And it's. Yeah, some I know went there and it's. It's gorgeous. It's gorgeous.

[C]

Didn't Bob go there?

[B]

No, Bob went to.

[C]

You see, Santa Barbara. Where do you.

[B]

No, the one just south of that.

[A]

San Luis Obispo.

[B]

No, no, no.

[C]

I'm sorry.

[D]

Long Beach State.

[C]

Long beach day.

[B]

Yeah. Okay, now we are going to return to the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios and continue a vaginal talk.

[C]

No, we're done.

[B]

This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

More of the show is on the way.

[B]

You can find us on X at Bob and Tom or you can email

[A]

us at Bob and [e-mail]. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. You happy with that? We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee Hello, There's Jess Hooker. Hello, There's Josh Arnold.

[D]

Hello there.

[A]

Hello indeed. There's Ace Cosby. Hello. Hello. I'm Chick McGee and hello, Tom.

[B]

Hello, Chick. Coming up tomorrow with special special edition of Sexy Time with Ali Breen. Ali is apparently at the French Open and. But she'll be somewhere. We can talk to her tomorrow at the usual time. But we now check in with Christy Lee. We just finished reviewing women's health issues.

[C]

A new survey from Dating News suggests that dating a friend's ex is still a very touchy subject for many Americans.

[D]

This just in.

[C]

Yes. Among nearly 1500 adults surveyed, about 6, 6 in 10 say they would be bothered if a friend dated one of their former partners. Nearly half said their dating pool overlaps with their friends dating pool. And about 1 in 10 said that overlap happens frequently, frequently within their friend group.

[B]

Makes sense.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, those are the people that you know and see and talk to.

[E]

Have you ever dated someone and thought they are better suited for my friend and introduced him to your friend?

[D]

I haven't, but I could see that happening.

[E]

Yeah, I would do that. Yeah. Just going, you know what? You have way more in common with this girlfriend of mine. I think I should introduce you.

[B]

That's very much a Hallmark movie premise.

[E]

That's cute. Yeah, you could do that.

[C]

The survey also found.

[A]

Would that be a meet cute, Tom?

[B]

Yeah. You could arrange a meet cute in there.

[C]

Four in 10 people have passed on dating someone because that person had previously dated a friend or acquaintance. Still, the majority said they would not let that history stop them from pursuing a relationship. I guess the heart knows what the heart knows and wants what it wants. Right?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

We had that letter to Ali Breen. Was it last week or the week before? Remember this one where the, the. Let's see, she was, she was writing in to say that. Am I getting this right?

[C]

Her husband, her good. Her best friends, they were getting a divorce.

[B]

Right.

[D]

And the best friend left him. That was one of the key things.

[C]

And she was already dating someone else.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

And this woman wanted to pursue her husband. Ex husband.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. So her. So she wants to go after her best friend's soon to be former husband.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[D]

I have, I'm. I'm in the percentage. That is totally fine with all of this.

[E]

I think she should talk to her best friend about it first.

[A]

Yeah, I agree.

[D]

I mean, come on. Open communication is always healthy, but it doesn't bother me. It should. I don't know.

[A]

I know it's best just, just to stay home and keep Your mouth shut.

[D]

I mean that is.

[B]

Yeah, good point.

[A]

Keep your doors locked.

[C]

Yeah. Is that how you live in your life?

[A]

Get some loving dogs and you're set.

[C]

Door dash and a good doordash.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Isn't your philosophy.

[A]

Don't smirch my.

[B]

Your friends.

[A]

Girlfriends.

[B]

You treat them like they're your cousins. Cousins.

[E]

Oh okay.

[B]

That's so. Only do it in secret.

[A]

I was gonna say Chris.

[D]

I've made love to four of my cousins.

[C]

We've kissed.

[A]

Our cousins Christy and I have made out with our cousin.

[C]

Make out. I kiss. We were like 12. You know. You experiment.

[A]

I went to booby town and everything.

[C]

Really? Oh I didn't do that.

[D]

Okay, Appalachia,

[C]

here's a story.

[B]

You're going to where movie town comes to. Epstein.

[A]

Epstein Island. You know there are a lot of stores up here in Appalachia and here's one. It'll curl your toe.

[C]

A woman says she spent $50,000 to marry herself. Oh thank you know how much you love this.

[A]

I'm going to be kind to me. First I need to forgive myself.

[C]

Model and only fans creator Bonnie Lockett decided to organize the symbolic ceremony after being cheated on in the presence of close friends. Ms. Lockett wore a $20,000 designer wedding gown, recited vows to herself and slipped a 27000 pear shaped 3 carat yellow diamond ring onto her finger.

[E]

Holy hell.

[C]

The 38 year old told the New York Post. Quote I made the biggest commitment that anyone can make make to myself. It was one of the best days of my life.

[B]

Do we have the picture of the the father of the bride handing or the big black dildo?

[C]

What?

[D]

You know as one does she looks pretty.

[C]

I guarantee you as an influencer photo. You probably got the dress for free.

[D]

Man.

[E]

That's borderline AI right there.

[A]

Have a contest with yourself the economy of words and how. How many people you can insult culture.

[B]

The father of the bride has to walk the bride down the aisle and oh, she's British.

[D]

She did it in Ibiza.

[C]

Oh, nice huh?

[B]

It's Ibiza.

[A]

It's Ibiza.

[D]

Come on with that.

[B]

The Z is pronounced th. I'm sorry.

[D]

Not in my world.

[E]

She looks gorgeous.

[A]

That's like. What do you call those black and white horsey things? That's right. They're. That's exactly right.

[D]

Yeah. She's a knockout out. Yeah I you know she's an only fans model so a lot of this is just sort of silly pr.

[C]

Exactly.

[D]

Send me money.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Content.

[C]

All that money she spent.

[B]

What do you call those Those little.

[E]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

What are those like reverse golf ball holes called on a. On a dildo.

[C]

What?

[B]

The. The bumps. What are those called?

[A]

What? I don't think called anything.

[B]

Oh, those are sometimes.

[D]

Yeah, they'll say it's ribbed for your.

[B]

These are like little bumps.

[D]

I know, but that's still what they.

[B]

Okay, do you know what this means?

[A]

Why don't you say it again? Those are called Henry's.

[C]

You are so maddening something.

[D]

She's 38, okay?

[C]

She's old.

[D]

Just a guilt.

[A]

Yeah. Way old.

[B]

Josh, new word time.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Salogamy.

[D]

What is that now?

[B]

Sologamy. The practice.

[D]

Solo. Okay.

[B]

Oh, yeah. The practice of an individual marrying themselves. Gotcha you. It involves a symbolic ceremony meant to publicly declare a commitment to.

[D]

Well, at least you know what though?

[A]

At least you're not making fun of

[D]

it if you're going to do it. She did it the way. The only way I accepted it didn't look like she had any guests. She wasn't bothering anybody else. Yeah, she paid for it herself.

[B]

Wait till two months down the road she stops putting out to herself.

[D]

Yeah. Honeymoon's over.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

All right.

[B]

Lunatic pick.

[C]

According to my.

[B]

I had the wedding witnessed by my cat. Gun, please.

[D]

How come we don't. She's a hot, super hot chick.

[E]

Super hot.

[A]

And you know what?

[D]

We're not trying to contact her and talk to her. We're waiting for some dude to shoot basketball.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[D]

Talking to those guys every now and again. Can you throw us a bone and let us talk to lunatic hot chick.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You know, why aren't you we. In fairness maybe we can hook Josh up with this.

[B]

No, no, she can't. She's already married.

[D]

Yeah, I don't want to.

[B]

She married herself. He doesn't want to be a home wrecker.

[D]

Yeah, I'm not trying to.

[C]

Right. I don't want to be divorced.

[D]

Let's be honest.

[A]

As you would say. As you would say. Come on with that.

[B]

Well, I'm sorry, Christy. What's coming up?

[C]

Coming up.

[D]

We have only she had ridden the unicycle. Maybe we'll get her on the line

[A]

on while wearing stilts.

[B]

If this chicken juggle rings hills.

[A]

Let's get her on the show knows David Rush.

[B]

I want to hear her talking about how you I married myself. I picked out my china. Would you get this lady a gift?

[D]

Tom, this was no but I guarantee you all her followers only fans did get her.

[C]

I bet they gave her money. Yeah.

[D]

This was content.

[E]

Yes.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Okay, good. I hope this keeps people off the streets so I can get back to my destination quicker without having to get around them. Living real life.

[D]

Who would you rather have on the in the world? Him.

[E]

Right?

[D]

You think we want him on the

[A]

street around any day now he's going to cause a world record for traffic accident that you bound to happen.

[B]

No. Why don't we get a parade.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

World class narcissist like this lady.

[A]

It's not going to be his fault

[D]

fault but and careful there. You have your own radio show. Yeah. Let's not call other people narcissists.

[A]

You know what they.

[B]

You know what I'm going to love is when we come back with more of me.

[A]

But first let me tell you about Simply Safe. Tom, please do. You can keep yourself safe with yourself. That's right. Peace of mind. Traditional home security alerts you after a break in has already happened. And that is is way too late. Simplisafe changing all that. Using advanced AI alerts SimpliSafe US based live agents identify threats on your property and help deter them. The intruder never gets into your house to commit the crime. It stopped before it starts. And Simplisafe also has no long term contracts. No lock ins as they're called or hidden cancellation fees. Life happens. And if you need to change things up, no problem. Simply, Simply Safe does not trap you in a contract. And monitoring and deterrence plans start at around only a dollar a day. That's worth the peace of mind with Simplisafe and the setup experience. I did it in less than a half an hour and you can too. 1, 2, 3. I say it's 1, 2. The 3 is not even needed. It's that easy. And we'd like you to experience Simplisafe and have the same peace of mind I do. And we all do here at the Bob and Tom Show. We use Simplisafe are in the studio. Get a load of this. Simply Safe has an exclusive discount for Bob and Tom listeners only right now. Get 50% off your new Simply Safe system just by visiting simplisafetom.com that's half off. Go to simplisafetom.com there's no safe like Simply say.

[B]

Coming up we have the Blue Antelope in the news. You know what that is? It's kind of like a theebra, isn't it?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And we have another weird story coming out of the Outback Steakhouse. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee at the news desk.

[C]

Hello.

[A]

There's Jess Hooker.

[E]

Hello. Hi.

[A]

There's Josh Arnold.

[D]

Hello. Hi.

[A]

There's Ace Cosby. Hi. I'm Chick McGee and Tom, can you name this sound? Are you ready? Yeah.

[B]

Turn the music down. Go ahead. Oh, yeah, I can see it. It's a Slinky.

[A]

Well, now you can. Yeah. How about that? That's original metal Slinky, buddy.

[D]

Love it.

[B]

And you're doing the six, seven.

[A]

Well, your mother's bear. Everyone knows it's Slinky.

[B]

Is that their jingle?

[A]

Yeah. Something, something that everyone knows it's Slinky. It climbs, it walks downstairs. So I could never, like, get it to do.

[E]

Yeah, well, we're going to try it after the show.

[A]

See?

[B]

And that we. Once again, we had the world record set by a very fine young man and his family. The world record for the longest Slinky trip down the stairs. Oh, yeah, just a couple weeks ago.

[A]

Baskets and a guy on stilts.

[B]

Why, why don't you like these brilliant records?

[A]

Brilliant.

[B]

It's The Luxinger family. Dr. Joe Crystel and their five year old son.

[D]

I was just asking if you recognize the sound.

[B]

53 stairs. The world record for a Slinky.

[A]

Nowhere near the record that Ace Ventura set.

[D]

That's exactly right.

[A]

From the ashram. We all know it.

[B]

Otterbein Stadium in Westerville, Ohio. Very good. Very good.

[D]

Very, very good. Very good.

[B]

It's a fine record.

[A]

No one said ever. No one ever said, very good, very good. Only you.

[D]

There's only one other person that talks like him.

[A]

You know that. Oh, yeah, I know.

[C]

Who's that?

[D]

Don't you worry about it.

[A]

I'll tell you, okay? That's right.

[B]

Did Jesus speak English?

[D]

Oh, geez.

[C]

Oh, my God. That's. You're comparing yourself to Jesus?

[B]

Oh, Josh just did.

[E]

Look up savior complex.

[A]

You might notice. Messiah complex.

[B]

I'm sorry, Christy, what have you got over there?

[C]

We are going to continue with our survey questions. According to a new survey from my iq, many people feel they did not end up with the right person.

[D]

Oh, gosh, this makes me sad.

[A]

How many?

[C]

The poll of over 4,000 U.S. adults found that one in three believe they may have settled for their current partner.

[A]

33%.

[C]

One third of respondents admitted that they have felt they compromised when choosing their partner. 30% said they believe their own partner may have settled for them.

[D]

Oh, man.

[C]

Adults aged 25 to 34 were the most likely to report feelings of regret. Oh, that Must.

[A]

Buyer's remorse.

[C]

That's the divorce rate right there, with 40% admitting they had questioned whether they had chosen the right. Right person. Respondents aged 45 and over, least likely to say that they had settled.

[D]

How many were settled and how many were browbeaten into.

[A]

Yeah, that's a fair question. If. If you're a guy and you find yourself saying this, I. I guess we get married. Don't get married.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah. That's not.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you ever sit at a restaurant, look around at the couples and go, there's a settler over there.

[C]

Or they've just run out of things to talk about because they've been together so long.

[A]

There was a miserable, miserable, miserable.

[D]

I saw a couple, and I could hear them because they were in the booth next to me at a restaurant once, and they were old. And I genuinely almost got up and asked the man, would you prefer I kill her or you?

[C]

Right.

[D]

Because I know you pray for both.

[C]

Probably.

[E]

And chances are, it had been like that his whole life.

[D]

I mean, I wanted to look at her and go, you cannot do this to this man.

[A]

You. What do you think the stats are of faking your own death in relation? I. I say they're almost 100% of people who want our guides to get out of a relationship faking their own.

[E]

You see those stories more and more lately. Like the guy who started a whole new life in Australia.

[A]

Yep.

[E]

The other guy who pretended like he drowned while he was doubting.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

We're not denying that. It goes the other way, too, that women do it. Oh, that. I mean, women are stuck with just total.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Duds or douchebags or worse.

[B]

Or they just want to kill the guy because they're going to move on. Like the one that happened a couple weeks ago.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I mean, we all. We all kind of get it, right.

[C]

I never wanted to kill anyone here

[D]

just to off them.

[C]

No, no.

[A]

He yells at me because he loves me. You know, stuff like that.

[B]

Well, no, that's okay.

[E]

That's not what we were talking about.

[B]

Okay, Christy, what else you got over there?

[C]

Another poll. Americans are four times more likely to charge their phones than apply sunscreen every day. Well, duh.

[A]

Wait a minute. Are we supposed to put sunscreen on every day?

[C]

Yes, you are. Every single day.

[D]

Every day.

[C]

Every day.

[A]

I'm swarthy. I don't buy Nigerian.

[B]

Yeah, I'm not gonna do that, because then I'm gonna get that suntan lotion on my phone when I charge it.

[D]

So, Tropicana's survey. What Now?

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Researchers found about half of adults regularly forget to apply sunscreen. With only about 1 in 10 say they use it every day.

[D]

That's insane. To use it every day.

[A]

If you're buying sunscreen like deodorant, you got a problem?

[C]

No. Your dermatologist would say you should apply sunscreen to your face.

[D]

I don't trust. I trust the sun more than I do the chemicals.

[E]

I'm with you. I'm with you. I will. I won't. But there's so many makeup products that already have SPF in them, it's hard to find one that doesn't.

[C]

Now nearly a third say daily sunscreen seems unnecessary.

[D]

Yeah, of course.

[E]

My dermatologist said start putting it on your hands because when you drive all the time, you're exposed to the sun.

[B]

Yeah. I had to have some stuff done, and my dermatologist said the number one place is the arm below the elbow and the left arm, your forearm.

[A]

I know it's hard to believe with my genetic superiority, but I have a problem with sun exposure. I have to wear a cowboy.

[B]

It's funny because I do, too. Who's that jerk?

[A]

It's part of my cowboy kit. You haven't heard about his cowboy kit? Yes.

[E]

What's a cowboy kit?

[A]

Well, when he was.

[B]

They asked me if I had any spurs.

[E]

Okay, natural question, because I did start

[B]

wearing a cowboy hat when I walked my dogs because my doctor told me to.

[E]

Could you imagine what his neighbors say?

[D]

What else can we get his neighbor doctor to tell him?

[E]

I don't know.

[B]

But Chick asked me if I had any spurs when I was a little boy.

[A]

Yeah. If you talk too much, you die quicker.

[B]

How about that? You get. You get this box, and it's got a little cowboy hat and a. Sure. And a holster and a pistol and a cowboy kit.

[E]

It's a cowboy costume, you know.

[D]

You with doctors?

[B]

I honestly think. Chick I in, if memory serves. I honestly think it was called the Kit Carson.

[D]

Carson kit. Kit Carson Kit.

[B]

I know it was a Kit Carson kit, but I think it was Kit Carson.

[A]

I think you're right on that.

[B]

But, yeah, I. I do have a picture of Willie dressed as a cowboy. I've got to find it. Yeah, classic.

[D]

It's from last year.

[B]

He was doing an audition.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

For the Village People.

[A]

And all. All chaps are assless. Don't forget that. Yeah.

[C]

And despite years of warning about skin cancer, many young adults are still choosing a tan. In fact, Gen Z less concerned about developing skin cancer than older Americans. One in five young adults Said they have a tan. Having a tan is more important than avoiding skin cancer.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[D]

I think we're avoiding skin cancer by using less suntan lotion. I mean, that's just me.

[E]

I'm not saying therapy. I tan every day. I sit in the sun for at least 20 minutes every day.

[C]

Dermatologist Dr. Nealan Khan told the New York Times, young people are not smoking or drinking and are prioritizing sleep, hydration and exercise. But it's quote, unquote, concerning that. The concept of tanning is not part of that.

[A]

The anal glands of a house cat are beneficial.

[E]

Okay. I'm bringing back tanning beds and cigarettes. That's. This is that. That's what I'm doing this summer.

[A]

Hot damn.

[D]

You're gonna be the lady from there. Something about Mary.

[E]

I can't wait.

[B]

Remember the thing last year where the tanning bed shut and the person couldn't get out?

[A]

Oh, come on.

[E]

That's in a movie.

[C]

Tom.

[A]

That's not real.

[D]

What were skin cancer numbers 100 years ago?

[E]

They weren't.

[D]

See, something else is happening. No, and people were outside way more.

[A]

Right.

[E]

Do you think Native American people worry about skin cancer?

[B]

Yeah, but they have a much different complexion than you.

[C]

The prairie people were all covered up. If you notice, they had bonnets and long sleeves.

[A]

Yeah. What about prairie people?

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

That's why they didn't get cancer, sir.

[D]

I'm not something else.

[E]

But they weren't wearing sunglasses. That's a big one, too, that. The sunglasses block your body's ability to produce melanin and protect you from the sun.

[D]

Yes. Because your eyes would cue your body.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Hey, it's bright and sunny and.

[E]

Yeah, exactly.

[D]

Right.

[B]

So what? The point is they're saying Gen. Is it Gen Z or Gen X is doing Gen Z. Gen Z.

[E]

Is that our kids?

[C]

Yes.

[E]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

They're smoking and tanning at the same time. What is it again?

[C]

Drinking. Less drinking. But they're still tanning.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

You didn't even listen.

[D]

Nope.

[E]

Oh, a good tan puts you in a good mood.

[B]

Now, wait a minute. Hang on a second. No. A tan lines on a hot woman puts you in a good mood.

[D]

I do not. You guys know I'm anti tan line.

[E]

You're anti tan lines?

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

You're not. You like it?

[B]

100% fan is what you're big fan.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

All right.

[D]

To me, it looks like the boobs haven't gotten enough oxygen. Yes.

[A]

I love the tan lines. I love them.

[B]

No.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

I don't like them.

[E]

Do you remember the tan Sticker.

[D]

I do.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Sometimes hearts.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah. I like that.

[E]

Playboy bunny.

[D]

Yeah, I did like that.

[E]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[E]

It was like the introduction to the tattoo. Yeah.

[D]

Yes.

[E]

When you would go to a tanning bed, they would have stickers.

[B]

I would never go to a tanning.

[E]

I. I know. I'm going to walk you through it. Tom style. You can get a sticker, and usually you would put it on your hip.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

And then you would see how much sun you got during your tanning session when you peeled it off.

[A]

Right.

[E]

Oh.

[B]

So it's like if you were batiking. It's where the wax is. The dye doesn't go. Okay. I can make it a relatable.

[A]

Yeah. Because we were all batiking at one point.

[B]

You should do that. It's a blast.

[C]

A Virginia woman is suing Outback Steakhouse for one and a half million dollars.

[D]

Christy, you're playing with your hair like there's a cute boy in here.

[C]

I'm playing with my hair so I don't kill someone.

[A]

It couldn't possibly be me she's talking about.

[C]

After she says she slipped and fell on mashed potatoes inside one of their restaurants. Ms. Tracy Renshaw alleges that the incident occurred while she was dining with her family at an Outback Steakhouse in sterling, Virginia. The 56 year old claims that as she was walking to the restroom, she stepped on a slippery substance that appeared to be mashed potatoes and fell face first onto the floor.

[D]

That's funny as it is.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

As a result, Ms. Renshaw said she experienced significant pain, reduced ability to work, and ongoing medical costs.

[A]

I just hope a guy with a trombone was following her.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

The lawsuit accuses the restaurant of failing to maintain safe conditions for guests.

[D]

I don't care for this lady.

[E]

I'll take payment in the form of Bloomin Onions for life.

[C]

I slipped and fell at a restaurant. I didn't sue him.

[E]

Oh, it's an accident, right?

[C]

It was water on the floor. I mean, there's gonna be water sometimes. It was my.

[B]

Wouldn't you see the mashed potatoes, I would think. But we had this story. This reminded me of another story also in Florida. A man in Ocala is suing Outback Steakhouse over a toilet that, quote, shattered and collapsed beneath him. Mr. Michael Green filed the complaint over an incident incident at the chain's Ocala location.

[D]

I swear, I was just using the bathroom.

[A]

I did nothing wrong.

[B]

He says that the toilet in the handicapped stall shattered and collapsed beneath him, causing him to fall and causing severe bodily Injury due to my overactive bowels.

[A]

Meals on the toilet.

[B]

He's seeking damages exceeding $50,000. Oh. I mean, why would a toilet collapse? Would it?

[D]

Well, the doctor says I have heavier bones than most. That's brutal.

[A]

Yeah. Wow.

[D]

I wonder if it was one of those toilets that doesn't go to the ground, it's just attached to the wall.

[C]

That could be.

[A]

I bet.

[B]

So I wonder if it collapses counterclockwise at a Outback. Do you. When the toilets flush there, do they plumb them?

[D]

So it'd be fun if they did. Did.

[B]

That's actually. That's actually a myth, right?

[A]

Yeah, absolutely.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

That isn't the case if you're in Australia.

[C]

That doesn't happen.

[B]

No. Maybe they'll have to start putting the ouses at the outback.

[A]

You do.

[B]

What is it? I can't remember. Isn't the slogan no rules just right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

However, in Australia, you will find kangaroo dung in your driveway every now and then.

[B]

I see. How many calories. Calories are in a blooming onion.

[D]

It's something astounding.

[E]

I Bet it's like 3, 500.

[C]

All of them. Oh.

[B]

What do you think? They sure are delicious.

[A]

They're so good.

[D]

They are meant to be shared.

[E]

And you can't make one at home. It's just never the same.

[A]

That's sauce.

[C]

1920-1950 calories in a blooming onion. Yeah.

[D]

That's a day's work.

[B]

Wait a minute. This is doable.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You can eat a whole blooming onion by yourself.

[A]

Absolutely.

[C]

Absolutely no way.

[B]

On a good day.

[D]

Just don't use the toilet at the outback.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's the lesson here. Don't step in the mashed potatoes.

[A]

We need to know how much this guy weighed. That's a problem. Yeah.

[B]

Who knows? I mean, maybe it was a defective toilet. I don't know. And I've slipped on stuff. But I'm not suing him. But apparently this lady did a face plant after stepping in the mashed potatoes.

[D]

I bet she was impossible.

[B]

Anyway, she was creamed by the creamed potatoes. Josh. Her face. There's nothing there. Looks like a bloomin Onion. Josh.

[D]

I wish you wouldn't invoke my name during such attempts at comedy.

[A]

Yes, Just leave. Leave my name out of. Take my name out of your mouth.

[B]

Yeah. It doesn't say what kind of toilet it was for this other guy or.

[A]

I bet it was Universal Run.

[D]

It was an Australian standard.

[C]

Oh, probably.

[A]

Yeah. Workhorse of the industry.

[B]

Universal Rundle.

[A]

What about Toto?

[C]

Toto's A Toto's nice, but you don't see a lot of Totos in businesses, do you?

[D]

A tour, maybe. That's not a toilet. It's a publishing company.

[A]

No tours. They tore that ass up. I remember that.

[B]

They really need to use smoother porcelain, apparently. Now coming up, we have Blue Antelope. The Blue Antelope in the news, are you familiar with the Blue?

[C]

No.

[A]

Is that like a startup company?

[B]

It's part of an interesting phenomenon. Now there is a phenomenon in the world of economics, in the world of household economics, I guess in the world of house owning, I'll put it that way.

[A]

I make a difference. Pick one house. This can't be everything, can it?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

Almost every house in the US of A is worth more than it was five years ago.

[A]

I stand correct.

[B]

Maybe yours. Probably yours. If you have a house you've owned for 10 years, it's probably more than doubled in price. What does that mean for you? Well, you don't have to sell it to take advantage of the equity in your home. Maybe it depends on your circumstance. Obviously this is where American Financing comes in. If you want to take advantage of that and not sell your house, but just have some extra cash on hand, perhaps you want to pay off some of those high interest credit cards or maybe you want to fix up the kitchen. Whatever it might be, you might be a candidate for this. And the folks at American Financing are the experts. They can tell you in about 10 minutes if this might work for you. Their average client right now has reduced their mortgage payment by 800 bucks. They also have a program, while it lasts, in which you might find yourself going a couple months without paying a mortgage payment at all, which might help you get your head above water. Find out the details. No upfront fees are involved. There is no pressure. If you start today, you could actually delay two mortgage payments while that special situation is up and running. Running. Call American Financing and they'll give you all the information you need. And like I said, in just a few minutes. Their number is 866-88926 11. Hard to remember that when I rattle it off on the radio, but you can remember this. American financing.net and I'll ask you to do us a favor and go. American Financing.net BobandTom Once again, American Financing.net

[A]

NMLS 182334 NMLSConsumeraccess.org APR for rates in

[B]

the five started 6.327% for well qualified borrowers. Call 889-2611 for details. About credit costs and terms, visit American Financing.net Bob and Tom. Average savings based on borrowers who save over $200. Got a comment to share?

[A]

Text us at 888-262-8661. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[B]

A few minutes. See you there.

[A]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're at the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. You caught us. There's Christy Lee.

[C]

Hi.

[A]

There's Jess Hooker.

[E]

Hello.

[A]

There's Josh Arnold.

[D]

Hi.

[A]

There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick McGee. And Tom. All of a sudden, of course, we're coming back on the air. Becomes a flurry of activity.

[C]

Oh, I know.

[A]

Including blowing his nose. Has been added to shuffling away my nose and drinking. Getting a fluid.

[E]

And I like your computer glasses. Those are great. Good.

[C]

I know you're talking about them. Yeah. A lot better.

[E]

That's a good shape on you.

[D]

We told him you cut down on eye strain. That's important.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Now we have.

[A]

You look like a radio operator on a sub in 1943.

[D]

They look like a real nerd.

[B]

Dive.

[A]

Dive. They would call you. What's radio?

[B]

What's your favorite submarine movie?

[A]

The German one.

[B]

Run Silent, Run Deep.

[A]

Das Boot.

[B]

What's the one with Sean Connery?

[A]

So realist.

[D]

The Hunt for Red October.

[B]

I love that. That's a great movie.

[D]

Mine's Crimson Tide.

[A]

Wait a minute.

[C]

Favorite.

[A]

It's the Hunt for Red October.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

The regular.

[A]

Yeah, I had that in.

[D]

Now you can find the other one.

[A]

Totally wrong.

[B]

Well, that's a really unfortunate porn movie, Isn't it? October. Get a towel.

[A]

Totally. It's October, you know.

[E]

Oh, my gosh.

[C]

Science.

[B]

Would you rather have your body work that way?

[D]

Christy, what you get, you get every period done in one month.

[B]

Yeah, every year. It would just be a one month period.

[E]

100. Yeah.

[B]

Would you go for that?

[E]

I would. Yeah. I'd sign up for that today.

[C]

No, I wouldn't because I didn't have them on a regular basis. So I was very fortunate. Oh, yeah. Sorry about that.

[E]

I would.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Just like maybe like in the winter months, you know, just get it out of the way.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

All right.

[B]

That'd be interesting. I wonder what month everybody would choose.

[C]

I'm with her. I would like November.

[D]

Apparently, Jess is going for a real bitchy Christmas.

[A]

Another.

[B]

Another premise for a Hallmark movie.

[C]

Yeah. I'm glad those days are way.

[B]

Are you gonna be here Monday?

[D]

Me?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

No, I have a colonoscopy.

[E]

Oh. So you're off.

[D]

So I'll be experiencing a whole Other different type of pain in the ass.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Colonoscopy. Yeah.

[D]

The only time in the morning. No, I don't. I have to wake up at 2 and do my second. 2am and do my second. Which means I'll be up for an hour after that.

[E]

But you get it out of the way early in the morning and then that makes for good sleep the rest of the day.

[D]

That's what I was kind of thinking.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Twilight, I.

[D]

They suggest that I am just doing Twilight and not the full knockout.

[E]

That's how I've always done it. Yeah.

[B]

Now, what does that mean? Can that mean you're. Does that mean you're awake? Can you.

[D]

They talk Semi, apparently. Yeah. I don't know if I can communicate

[E]

per se, but the last time I was under Twilight, I. They didn't give me enough. Like, I was too. Like I was aware I was answering questions.

[C]

While they were doing your colonoscopy.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, man.

[E]

And so the guy. The guy said one of them was like, hey, she said she works on the Bob and Tom show. And the other guy goes, what does she do? And I said, I book guests. And they're like, give her more medicine like this.

[D]

So you're not supposed to be too coherent.

[C]

No.

[E]

You're supposed to be able to like, hey, we're going to move you. And you be aware, like, be helpful, like, just enough. But you shouldn't be answering questions.

[D]

This is my second colonoscopy. They knocked me out fully the first time.

[E]

Yeah. I've never. Yeah. I've always been Twilight.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

I'm colonoscopy.

[A]

I've had it both. And I prefer. Yeah. They. Them asking me questions. Oh, yeah, I prefer.

[D]

I kind of like to see the

[A]

camera half and half. Yeah.

[B]

Well, good luck with it.

[D]

Yeah, thanks.

[B]

This has been like, I guess a surgery week here in the Bob and Tom show.

[D]

Yeah. So Monday will tell us whether or

[A]

not supposedly do not miss Monday show show, despite the fact Josh won't be here, but Pat should be coming.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Pat will be back.

[A]

Coming back on Monday.

[D]

Right.

[C]

Is he gonna be wearing that thing, that crypto hydro?

[B]

He had the type of shoulder surgery that had. I think he has to wear a. What is it called? A sling that kind of sticks out.

[C]

Yeah, I know that, but I didn't know if he had the cuff that wraps around.

[D]

That would be great. If he had the cast with that bar that goes from the side.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

I'm gonna be helping him on the guitar. Guitar. We've been practicing.

[C]

Wow.

[E]

Yeah. So what's gonna happen? I'm gonna do a reach around type thing.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

And I'm gonna strum while he makes the chords. Makes the chords.

[B]

Oh, that'll be fun.

[D]

That's funny.

[E]

Yeah, we'll see.

[B]

That'll be great. And it's as it derails. I'm looking forward to that. Christy Lee, what do you got?

[C]

Before we go, scientists at Colossal Biosciences say they've been secretly.

[A]

We need a. We need a big name for South.

[C]

To bring back an extinct antelope that disappeared nearly 200 years ago.

[B]

We've been talking. This is the same company, we've been talking about them before.

[A]

Colossal.

[C]

They're going to attempt to resurrect the blue buck, a striking antelope with a blue gray coat that once roamed southern Africa.

[D]

At least they're starting with an antelope and not the T. Rex.

[C]

Yeah, the species went extinct around 1800 due to hunting habitat loss loss and competition with livestock. CEO Ben Lamb calls the project.

[A]

Come on.

[C]

That's his name. Reversing some of the sins of the past. Saying modern technology now makes it possible to undo an extinction that humans caused.

[D]

The sins of the past? Killing animals to eat?

[A]

Yeah, stuff like that.

[C]

Colossal already known for efforts to revive the woolly mammoth, the dodo and Tasmanian tiger. DNA from a museum specimen and plans to use a roan antelope as a surrogate mother.

[A]

Tom, we have the elusive dodo bird here with us. Would you care to talk to him?

[B]

Well, I. I'd like to ask some questions. You're a male dodo bird, I gather. Where were you last seen? Okay.

[D]

Really.

[B]

North herself. Okay, good. Good to know. Do you have a lady friend? I know I got a gentleman. Gentleman doesn't talk.

[D]

In our culture, love is love. That's all right.

[B]

Are you and your male friend setting up shop?

[D]

Oh, a boutique. That'll be lovely.

[A]

Don't. Don't.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

The old cherry. This is. I heard a scientist talking about this and they can't. They can make animals that might look sort of similar. Yeah, but if they don't have the actual DNA. They can't.

[C]

Well, they took the DNA out of the museum specimen.

[B]

Yeah, but.

[C]

What do you mean, yeah, but I.

[B]

This was. Scientist was saying. No, that they can make something that looks kind of like it.

[D]

What interview did he have to have?

[C]

Who knows?

[B]

They're not going to be able to recreate and bring back a woolly mammoth. It's going to be part elephant.

[D]

I thought they were closer to it

[E]

than we Thought because they have to put it in a mother of some

[B]

kind of look, they might be able to make something that looks like it.

[E]

But what did you say they're using as a surrogate?

[C]

An antelope. Oh, yeah, just another antelope.

[B]

Okay, well, I want to make sure they give this thing a bath. Make sure they just throw an antelope in blue dye and go. Look, we've recreated the blue antelope.

[A]

Give it a bath, then give it.

[B]

Do an IPO to raise a billion dollars. And by the way, has anybody seen Jurassic Park?

[E]

Park?

[B]

Even if they could do it, should they do it? That's always the famous question.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

We were so busy. Could we. We didn't.

[B]

Yeah. Should we? Exactly. So look for the. Look for the.

[D]

The blue buck.

[B]

The blue buck. Antelope. We misquoted. I bring back something important like the McChicken. Huh?

[D]

The McChicken.

[E]

It's still on the.

[B]

On the menu, but not for a dollar.

[D]

He's right about that.

[E]

Bring back the dollar.

[B]

Remember. Remember the dollar. Mcch. Chicken. I want to see that again.

[A]

I don't think there was ever a McChicken.

[E]

Yeah, there is.

[D]

Delicious.

[A]

Is there just a McChicken.

[E]

So good.

[B]

Sandwich.

[D]

Sandwich.

[E]

Hot mayonnaise. Hot lettuce.

[A]

It's not a McNugget.

[C]

No, like a big McNugget.

[A]

A big nugget.

[B]

Bring back my doggy. Elvis and Figsy and Belcher. Oh, yeah, that's what I want.

[D]

You think they want to come back and live with you?

[A]

Yeah. Pass on that.

[B]

That's cold.

[A]

High school.

[D]

That's right. Your dogs.

[B]

I just hope they use cold water in your colonoscopy.

[D]

Me, too.

[B]

Oh, that's cool. Dr. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Full send golf.

[B]

You guys know how much I really, really love golf.

[A]

Full send golf.

[C]

2v2.

[B]

Me and VOD versus Big John and Kyle. Oh, it feels good to be back on the links with the boys. Join the party on the golf course.

[C]

Back to golf in a big way. Now what?

[E]

Practice.

[B]

Let's go hit the range.

[D]

I was like, let's go to the range.

[A]

We are headed to the golf cart. Y. You want to golf with us?

[D]

No.

[C]

You don't play golf?

[A]

No. Try.

[B]

We got to break par. I'm very, very excited. You excited? Yes. Full send golf. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.