The BOB & TOM Show - June 4, 2026

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show – June 6, 2026

Episode Overview

On June 6, 2026, The BOB & TOM Show brought its signature blend of comedy, current events, news, and guest interviews to listeners nationwide. This episode stands out for its engaging interviews with comedians Jim Gaffigan and Bill Engvall, lively banter among Bob, Tom, Chick, and Christy, and spirited discussions on topics ranging from odd world records to art world absurdities and pillow fighting as spontaneous foreplay. True to form, the show mixes laughs, nostalgia, irreverence, and thoughtful commentary as it bounces from sports and pop culture to wild listener mail, quirky news, and reflections on modern life.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

Opening Comedy & Banter

• The Legendary "Orange Barrels" Song ([01:15–03:03])
  • Chick McGee, Bill Engvall, and others lampoon America's summer road construction with the recurring tune. “Orange barrels, orange barrels, everywhere I see…” sets the tone for lighthearted nostalgia and ribbing.
  • “They have to pee in a portalette and their butt crack smiles at me.” – Chick McGee ([02:16])
• Morning Banter: "Walk of Shame" and Listener Mail ([03:29 – 08:00])
  • Delving into the “walk of shame” tradition; hosts volley personal stories of waking up in odd places. Christy: “Oh God, yeah.” Tom: “No such thing as a walk of shame. You wanted to do it.” ([03:54–04:00])
  • Bob recalls pre-GPS confusion and hangover navigation post-hookup ([04:19–05:33])
  • Letters from listeners cover everything from James Bond trivia to reflections on orange barrels.

News, Listener Mail & Quirky Science ([06:55–14:38])

• Listener Letters
  • Fans write in about brushing teeth and self-reflection in the mirror (“I prefer to lock eyes with myself...and think, what the hell am I doing with my life?” – listener Ethan, [10:45])
  • Odd scientific trends: “Did you know if you stick your tongue out and pretend to shake salt into your mouth, your brain tricks yourself into actually tasting the salt?” ([11:15])
  • Early mention of bizarre news: “There are a lot of new trends out there. We can blame the Internet for most of them, including this one involving sperm…” Bob, referencing ‘sperm races’ trend ([11:44])

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Interview Highlight: Jim Gaffigan

[14:43–32:14, main segment; additional references throughout]

• Setting: Gaffigan joins by video from JFK airport: “I am your roving reporter. I’m reporting from JFK, a beautiful airport...you ever notice everything in the airport is a little out of place?” ([14:53])
• On Family and Touring:
  • “All my kids…are home from college and there’s just so much drama…If my house were a neighborhood, it would be a bad neighborhood.” ([15:36–16:10])
• Father Time Bourbon:
  • Gaffigan discusses the limited-release bourbon he produces with a college friend: “It’s my...grandfather on the bottle...It’s just me and a buddy from college, and it’s an excuse for me to keep trying to drink bourbon.” ([17:01–18:34])
  • “It’s mainly available at fathertime-bourbon.com ... I sign every bottle.” ([31:08])
• On Standup, Parenting, and Material:
  • “This new tour is called the Everything Is Wonderful Tour. And because everything is wonderful. Right?” ([18:55])
  • “When I started stand up, I complained about my dad. Now I complain about my kids. Hopefully, I’ll complain about my grandchildren.” ([19:09])
• On Gardening:
  • “My fantasy is to write a book. One side is ‘How Bourbon Saved My Life’ and if you turn it upside down, ‘How Gardening Saved My Life.’” ([28:37])
  • “I have grapes, I have berries that the little critters in my yard love to eat, strawberries where I might get like four a year. It’s really a struggle…” ([21:51])
• On Kids & City Life:
  • “I do [keep a car in the city], and I pay for parking, which is what I probably paid for my first apartment.” ([21:14])
• Comedic Reflections:
  • Gaffigan riffs on the legacy of Sean Connery, Moonraker, and Roger Moore in James Bond films ([08:10–08:25])
• Memorable Quotes:
  • “Everything I do makes no sense. I have five kids. Makes no sense. I live in New York City. Makes no sense. I have a place in the suburbs where I have this huge garden. Makes no sense.” ([21:48])
• Notable Section Timestamps:
  • Gaffigan joins: [14:43]
  • Discussion on bourbon and whiskey business: [17:01]
  • Parenting, touring, and “Everything is Wonderful” tour: [18:55–19:55]
  • Gardening and “nerd” hobbies: [21:48–23:14]
  • Family, acting gigs, and college kids: [25:57–28:37]
  • Gaffigan signs off: [32:06]

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Regular Show Antics & Topical Discussions

Listener Letters & Light Debate ([37:16–44:31]):

• Sleep difficulties, pets waking hosts up, and why windshield wiper squeegee fluid is always empty except in northern Wisconsin (“Quick Trip stores in northern Wisconsin have liquid tubes running to the wiper fluid containers so it is never empty. They’re heated in the winter so they don’t freeze.” – [40:00])
• Nostalgia: classic cars, GTOs, and the power of not trading in a classic ride for a few hundred bucks ([43:26])

News, Sports, & Culture

• NBA Finals Highlights ([45:02–47:14]):
  • Knicks beat San Antonio in Game 1; spirited reflections on game announcer Mike Breen’s catchphrases (“razzle dazzle” & “BANG!”)
  • “If Dr. Buckets made 11,115 NBA distance shots in 24 hours, you’d have to say ‘bang’ like 11,000 times.” – Bob ([47:11])
• Sports Oddities:
  • Two British amateurs land back-to-back holes in one on the same golf hole ([70:55])
  • NBA fan runs onto the court during the game, gets tackled while taking a selfie ([48:37–49:00])

World Records and Weird News ([73:01–75:46])

• Clark County, Nevada, sets new record for largest blanket fort (14,103 sq. ft.)—hosts lament that it’s really “just a big tent,” not a real blanket fort ([74:46])

Food & Art Tangents, Cultural Debates

• Chocolate drink nostalgia (Bosco vs. Nestle’s Quik), “Moons Over My Hammy,” and classic American breakfast foods ([65:44])
• Art world lampoon: $6.24 million banana duct-taped to the wall goes missing (the infamous “Comedian” artwork). “When the atom bomb hits that gallery and there are people there, no loss.” – Tom ([128:39])
  • Listeners are left flabbergasted at the world of high art and recurring fruit-taping lawsuits. ([127:08–131:01])

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Interview Highlight: Bill Engvall

[136:30–147:52]

• Whereabouts & Lifestyle:
  • Bill is calling from Park City, UT, splitting time between Utah and Arizona: “We split time—when it gets too cold, we go down to Arizona; when it gets too hot, we come up to Park City.” ([136:57])
  • On skiing: “I don’t bounce anymore… I fell, and the amount of time it took me just to get upright again, I just went, you know what, I’m going to the bar.” ([137:12–137:37])
• Career & Comedy:
  • Bill’s upcoming shows: Belton, TX; Modesto, CA; Louisville, KY; Indianapolis, IN.
  • “I caught myself sitting in my living room watching Housewives of Salt Lake City—and I knew their names—that I had to get back out on the road.” ([138:27])
• Celebrity Recognition and Blue Collar Comedy:
  • “When I retired, my celebrity recognition probably went to a D. … A guy behind me said, ‘I think it’s Jeff Foxworthy.’” ([138:46–140:08])
• Nostalgia for Early Career:
  • “I was the house MC at this club. I learned from the greats like Seinfeld, Shanling, Kirkembaumer, and Rich Scheidner…” ([144:29])
  • Listeners learn that his in vitro fertilization bit is more than 35 years old, and his child from then is now 35. ([141:38])
• Dancing with the Stars:
  • “In the 13 weeks I was on there, I tore my groin, pulled my hamstring, and had to have my knee drained twice.” ([146:02–146:49])
  • “Do you now go dancing with your wife? ‘Like hell, no!’” ([146:56])
• Memorable Quote:
  • “A huge thank you to you guys... If it wasn't for them, I don't know I would be where I'm at today.” ([142:55])

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Running Jokes, Quotes & Memorable Moments

Pillow Fight as Foreplay ([75:35–77:59], [101:08–104:08], recurring)

• Tom advocates for spontaneous pillow fighting between spouses as an instant route to “frolicking”—met with skepticism (and hilarity) by the rest.
  • “I want you to, when he’s not expecting it, walk up to your husband and just do a haymaker to the face with a pillow. You’ll thank me later.” – Tom, ([75:47])
  • “I expect to get letters by Monday.” – Tom, on his pillow fight prediction ([77:10])
  • “That was way too real. He means this.” – Chick, noting Tom’s genuine obsession ([76:31])

Sperm Maxing, Goth Girl Spit, and Internet Weirdness ([86:43–87:54], [88:38])

• Christy: “Some men...are turning to so-called sperm maxing amid a growing discourse on the so-called manosphere about a perceived lack of male virility.”
• “Do not have sex with anyone who uses the word sperm maxing. We don’t need these people breeding.” – Bob, ([87:54])
• “The apparel company White Phosphor has created a new zero sugar beverage called Goth Girl Spit.” – Christy ([88:38])
• On eating bread with yeast from a frozen mummy: “No, because again, it might taste delicious, but it could—it’s cursed. You don’t mess with these mummies.” – Tom, ([92:47])

On Modern Convenience and Nostalgia

• Blanket forts and world records: “This is not a blanket fort. I’m sorry, Guinness, you’re wrong.” – Tom, ([75:27–75:31])
• Windshield wiper fluid: “Quick Trip stores in northern Wisconsin have liquid tubes running to the wiper fluid containers so it is never empty.” ([40:00])
• Uber lost and found: “Phones are number one. Because I would think everyone would have their phone in their hand or in their pocket.” – Chick ([160:59])

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jim Gaffigan on family drama ([15:36]):
  “If my house were a neighborhood, it would be a bad neighborhood.”

• Gaffigan on bourbon: ([17:01])
  “It’s just me and a buddy from college, and it’s an excuse for me to keep trying to drink bourbon.”

• Engvall on aging and skiing: ([137:12])
  “I don’t bounce anymore… when you fall, you just stay down.”

• Christy Lee, on Ozempic & libido: ([99:44])
  “One of the side effects can be a loss of desire… you’re just not horny anymore.”

• On outrageous art: ([128:39])
  “When the atom bomb hits that gallery when there are people there, no loss.” – Tom

• Pillow fight & sex: ([77:00])
  “If you hit Andy, if you hit him in any way... that is absolute invitation for mayhem of all sorts, primarily ending in a coitus.” – Tom

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening comedy & "Orange Barrels" ([01:15–03:03])
• Jim Gaffigan Interview ([14:43–32:14])
• NBA Finals/game banter ([45:02–47:14])
• Clark County blanket fort ([73:01–75:46])
• Bill Engvall Interview ([136:30–147:52])
• Uber Lost & Found, final wrap-up ([159:32–163:09])

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Episode Flow & Tone

The episode is fast-moving, punchy, and intentionally digressive. Topics leap from heartfelt (navigating fatherhood and middle age with Gaffigan) to the ridiculous (blanket fort world records, sperm “maxing,” chewing over the Mona Lisa’s bananas, and the relative merits of pillow fights as seduction). The hosts are unfiltered and self-aware, delighting in roasting one another (and their guests), weaving in personal anecdotes and listener stories, and balancing long-running in-jokes with fresh reflections on modern trends, trivia, and news.

Language/Tone:
Casual, irreverent, occasionally absurd; lots of friendly ribbing, zingers, and indulgence in nostalgic tangents. The hosts freely blend classic Midwestern radio sensibility with modern internet mockery, landing in a tone that's both timeless and up-to-the-minute.

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In Summary

This episode of The BOB & TOM Show (June 6, 2026) is a rollicking example of the show's enduring comedic chemistry and cultural relevance. While Jim Gaffigan and Bill Engvall deliver standout guest interviews, it’s the collective banter, improvisational wit, and the joy of sharing oddities both old and new that define the show’s appeal. From garden struggles and whiskey launches to banana art scandals and Uber oddities, the episode is a wild ride—ideal for fans craving a smart, unrestrained dose of comedic variety radio.

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Notable Segments to Check Out:

• [14:43]–[32:14] Jim Gaffigan’s interview (gardening, bourbon, family, standup)
• [75:35]–[77:59] The Great Pillow Fight Debate
• [136:30]–[147:52] Bill Engvall on aging, comedy, and Dancing with the Stars
• Odd news and listener letters peppered throughout

Memorable Quote:
“Parenting is a thankless task. And so, you know, some shout out for the parents is a nice thing, and it encourages drinking, which is always okay.”
– Jim Gaffigan ([31:40])

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For more, check out the full show or look for posted interview links on The BOB & TOM Show’s socials.

Transcript

[Tom Griswold]

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[Bob Kevoian]

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[Chick McGee]

It's the bob and tom show. Orange barrels, orange barrels Everywhere I see

[Bill Engvall]

orange barrels, orange barrels looking back at

[Chick McGee]

me look at Larry, Darrell and Darrell standing next to the orange barrel looking back at me they have signs that say slow down.

[Bill Engvall]

I drive 25 through town their faces are dark and dirty and brown Their

[Chick McGee]

look came back at me

[Bill Engvall]

Orange barrels,

[Chick McGee]

orange barrels Everywhere I see orange barrels, orange barrels why can't I be free? Look at Larry, Darrell and Darrell standing next to the orange barrel in their

[Bill Engvall]

orange vest apparel looking back at me

[Chick McGee]

they stand in their stinking sweat I

[Bill Engvall]

haven't seen them working yet they have

[Chick McGee]

to pee in a portalette and their

[Bill Engvall]

butt crack smiles at me

[Chick McGee]

if I could fly I'd leave this world behind and I'd free up my mind from this debris Any orange barrels looking back

[Bill Engvall]

at me

[Chick McGee]

Orange barrels, orange barrels Everywhere I see orange barrels, orange barrels looking back at me look at Larry, Darrell and Darrell standing next to the orange barrel in their best apparel. They piss off my girlfriend Carol, who's sitting next to me.

[Bill Engvall]

We drive through the rain and snow through orange barrels.

[Bob Kevoian]

Here we go.

[Tom Griswold]

Will the work get done?

[Bill Engvall]

Well, no one knows.

[Chick McGee]

It remains a mystery Orange barrels, orange barrels, orange barrels, orange barrels. Hey, good morning from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. It's.

[Christy Lee]

It's.

[Chick McGee]

It's the Bob and Tom Show. Correct me if I'm wrong, Tom, and I know you will. Christy's wearing the same clothes she wore yesterday.

[Bob Kevoian]

I just said that to her.

[Christy Lee]

No, different shirt, different pants.

[Chick McGee]

Did you spend the Night somewhere.

[Christy Lee]

No. With a pair of brown and white stripes. Yesterday. Today it's navy.

[Bob Kevoian]

The broadcast of shame.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You ever do the walk of shame?

[Christy Lee]

Shame, Chris? Oh, God, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

No such thing as a walk of shame.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

You wanted to do it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Give it up, girls.

[Chick McGee]

Everything's a good, good choice. Always. Hey, Josh. Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, can guys have walks of shame then? Sure, but you never hear about that.

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Bob Kevoian]

You're of a drive of shame.

[Christy Lee]

What do you mean?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't have any shame.

[Chick McGee]

I've heard of a drive through of shame where you order everything from Taco Bell. I've done that.

[Bob Kevoian]

I can't go into too many details here, but a long time ago, a pre gps. All I remember was waking up in a strange apartment.

[Christy Lee]

Didn't know where you were?

[Bob Kevoian]

No. With no one there.

[Chick McGee]

Nobody there.

[Bob Kevoian]

And it was one of those apartments that. It was like 40 miles west of a cornfield.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, boy.

[Bob Kevoian]

I remember getting my car, driving and thinking, am I going to ever see a sign, you know, corn, corn, corn, corn, corn, corn.

[Christy Lee]

Follow the sun. Is that how you got out?

[Bob Kevoian]

I was too hungover. I think I ended up in a different state.

[Chick McGee]

And you, you taught me how to do this in conversation. I can top that. You guys remember when I woke up somewhere, I didn't know where I was and I had to get out of there, if you know what I mean. And about five miles down the road, I realized I dropped my wallet on the floor at the apartment, so I had to go back. Hey, I dropped my wallet. Oh, sure. Here you go. Yeah. Oh, it was awful. Just. Just awful. Awful. Tom.

[Bob Kevoian]

Here's my number. 555.

[Chick McGee]

She just stopped calling last week.

[Bob Kevoian]

But, you know, you were that good.

[Chick McGee]

I'm kidding. No, no.

[Bob Kevoian]

Let's move forward here. Coming up, we may have a. A couple surprises today. Things are shifted around a little bit. We're going to do sexy time with Ali Breen today. I think we had a technical issue yesterday.

[Chick McGee]

Well, she was at the French Open. She was unreachable.

[Bob Kevoian]

She was. And then. Yeah, we were aiming to do something special in about 30, 40 minutes. We'll see.

[Chick McGee]

We're kind of.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's dependent on some airline issues, etc. Etc. So we'll certainly look forward to that.

[Chick McGee]

Airlines are pretty. I can't do it. I can't say. Reliable. I'm sorry.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, no, we'll do. So anyway, I'm kind of looking forward to that. We have also lots of mail.

[Chick McGee]

Big airlines have you scared. I can tell you don't want to say anything negative about them.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, it's not the airline. Never mind. I think it's an airport issue. We'll see. I'm not exactly certain. I haven't been fully briefed on. What.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, but if someone did fully brief you, would it take.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Would it really?

[Bob Kevoian]

Probably not.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's what I thought.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm very busy over here. Yes, sir, we have a. I've got some really good letters over here, some really good mail to start things off. And would you like to start?

[Chick McGee]

Well, I would like to tell you emails from our listeners around the world brought to you by Sleep Number Cool down and save on sleep numbers. Temperature solutions for a limited time, save up to $1,000 a rack on the Climate Collection mattresses. Check it out at Sleep number store or sleepnumber.com. dear Bob and Tom Show. I think Tom should be aware of this, although maybe he is and he just didn't mention it yesterday. Jimmy Dean. We were talking about Jimmy Dean and his sausage and Big Bad John evidently played the character Willard white in the 007 movie. Diamonds are Forever.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I. I have no remembrance of that.

[Bob Kevoian]

Was that the Roger Moore era?

[Chick McGee]

I don't. I've never seen Diamonds or Forever. Yeah, there you go.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know.

[Bob Kevoian]

I think it was one of the lesser Bond films for me. It starts and ends with Thunderball.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. You did not care for Roger Moore.

[Christy Lee]

You're a Sean Connery guy, right?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Yeah, but I don't. I don't even remember Diamonds or Forever. Remember the song?

[Chick McGee]

What about George Lazenby? I thought he was.

[Bob Kevoian]

That wasn't bad.

[Chick McGee]

Close.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, but. Yeah, I remember this one.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's the one with the Jill St. John and. And Connery and he goes to Vegas. Blofield is in it and. Yeah, I do remember this one.

[Christy Lee]

Forever is a Connery.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Does it literally go to outer space?

[Chick McGee]

No, no, that's Moonraker, Tom.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

I had a dog named Moonraker after that movie.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's a cool name for it.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, he ran away.

[Bob Kevoian]

Did you call him Mooney?

[Christy Lee]

No, I called him Moonraker Mooney. Back in the day. That was.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, a good point. Mooney. Stop showing your ass.

[Chick McGee]

Mooney.

[Christy Lee]

You don't hear about the Moonies anymore, do you?

[Chick McGee]

They used to marry people hundreds at a time.

[Christy Lee]

Remember that?

[Chick McGee]

Remember that time?

[Bob Kevoian]

They weren't the airport clowns, were they?

[Chick McGee]

No, that was Reverend Moon Krishnas. Yep.

[Bob Kevoian]

Who are the. Who are the Reverend. Who are the Christians? What happened to them?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, David Leisure left and Then it kind of just fell apart.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, one of the greatest.

[Christy Lee]

Mooney's had one of my favorite restaurants, too. They. Okay, they have ran a nice restaurant here.

[Tom Griswold]

They had good breakfast. Mooney's over Miami was very good. A nice sandwich.

[Chick McGee]

That is a good. That's a. You can't go wrong with that order.

[Christy Lee]

That's a Denny's place. Right.

[Tom Griswold]

And Mooney's moons over Miami. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Now, I love that they name their food like that.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. The Christians, they dominated, what, 700 airports there for a while. They had the mud thing on their head.

[Chick McGee]

Have you heard?

[Christy Lee]

The mud thing.

[Bob Kevoian]

Like a shaved head and then like some mud between the eyes. Remember, they'd have, like, that little. Remember that?

[Chick McGee]

No, you. You're desperately wanting one of them.

[Tom Griswold]

Saw them in real life.

[Chick McGee]

I only saw them in the movies to correct you. And we're not going to.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, they had like a. They'd make a little thing between their.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Above their eyebrows with mud.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, they would.

[Tom Griswold]

Some.

[Christy Lee]

You know, when I was 8 years old in a LA airport, that was the first time I'd ever flown.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

I was really good at evading them. It's amazing how far you can get by saying F off.

[Chick McGee]

No, that. That mud was blessed by.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, sure. It was. From the parking lot by the Hertz. Rent a Car. Got this nice letter from Ethan in Kansas.

[Chick McGee]

Carry On Highway.

[Bob Kevoian]

And this is not on the topic you think it's on. It's. It's on an ancillary. The wizard of Oz. No, no. We've been talking a lot about toothpaste. This is really not about that. He goes, you guys have been discussing toothpaste dispensing methods. We've kind of reviewed that. We're done. What I want to know is, where are you looking while brushing your teeth? This is a really good question. He goes, I prefer to lock eyes with myself in the mirror and think, what the hell am I doing with my life?

[Chick McGee]

Really?

[Bob Kevoian]

Thank you, Ethan.

[Christy Lee]

I'm usually too asleep to worry.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's a nice thought.

[Chick McGee]

That kind of goes with our companion letter yesterday. That they won't sell you a gun if you're crying.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah,

[Chick McGee]

the same. The same flavor, if you will.

[Christy Lee]

This is kind of on the same topic. Oh, Tom, I was listening to yesterday's show and heard you shake salt directly into your mouth.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Did you know this is from Nick in Michigan? Or actually northern New York? He says, but I'm at Michigan. Did you know if you stick your tongue out and pretend to shake salt into your mouth, your Brain tricks yourself into actually tasting the salt.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't do this,

[Chick McGee]

Tom. I say do it right now and report to us.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, I'll have to have some potato chips or something that needs some salt, which we'll get to.

[Chick McGee]

Man, I like salt.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Now we salt and fat.

[Bob Kevoian]

We have a really odd. A new. There are a lot of new trends out there. We can blame the Internet for most of them, including this one involving sperm

[Chick McGee]

and the sperm races.

[Bob Kevoian]

The sperm of the. Of the human male.

[Christy Lee]

Well, yeah, that's what we.

[Tom Griswold]

As opposed to the sperm of the human female.

[Chick McGee]

Human female.

[Bob Kevoian]

As opposed to the sperm of, say, a. A champion racehorse.

[Christy Lee]

Okay, fair enough.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it was the male part that actually kind of just made us laugh.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, real stupid.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, if you're not familiar with female sperm, you just haven't read enough books.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, is that right? You know what? I haven't read that book.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that would. That would explain squirters, I guess. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, in any event, we do have a sperm update.

[Chick McGee]

I like order, Tom, where you live. It's kind of like getting a receipt right away.

[Bob Kevoian]

A couple of great guests today. Bill Langvall and another possible surprise guest coming up in about 30 minutes, I think. Don't want to. Don't want to. Don't want to spoil it by saying who it is.

[Christy Lee]

You know how to do math.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, wow. In about 10 minutes. We better take a quick break here. Christy, tell me, how did you get to work today?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, how did I get to work today in my beautiful Hyundai? You know, it's the FIFA World cup time, kids. Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent. While the world watches the stars at FIFA, these future stars are already turning heads at age 14 because next doesn't wait for an invitation. And neither does Hyundai. Hyundai's always moved the future within reach. They did it when they made advanced safety standard on every vehicle and engineered EVs with ultra fast charging capability. And they're still doing it every day. Because the future is not some far off concept. It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, thank you very much, Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

I should be doing those TV bumps. Next starts now.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, that's good.

[Christy Lee]

I love those.

[Chick McGee]

Previously on Blue Bloods.

[Bob Kevoian]

Coming up soon on this show, possible special guest. I'm very excited about this. Up next, I was reading that wrong. That's a 20, not a 40.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Where is Daredevil? I'm right here. Don't miss the return of Marvel Television's Daredevil Born Again.

[Ally Breen]

So what's next?

[Chick McGee]

I feel liberated.

[Bob Kevoian]

We're gonna take this city back over medicated in an all new season. Now streaming only on Disney plus. They're hunting us. It's time we started hunting them.

[Chick McGee]

I can work with them. This should be tons of fun. Marvel Television's Daredevil Born Again now streaming

[Bob Kevoian]

only on Disney plus.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee is at the news desk. Hello, there's Josh Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi there.

[Chick McGee]

Ace Cosby's here. Hello, I am Chick McGee. Hello, Tom. A special guest.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes, I think it's all worked out. Joining us on the big screen from parts unknown, possibly an airport, it's the wonderful man, the great comedian Jim Gaffigan. Hey, Jim, where are you?

[Jim Gaffigan]

I am, I am your roving reporter. I'm reporting from jfk, a beautiful airport that, you know, everything in the airport is a little out of place. You ever notice that? Like, you just walk into the gate and you beep, beep, and there's a golf cart behind you. Like, why is there a golf cart in the airport? Like, am I, I'm sorry, am I, are you playing through? You know, am I in the fairway?

[Bob Kevoian]

Jim, I was just looking at your schedule. You are everywhere this summer. You're going all over the place. A bunch of dates coming up in California. Have you looked at this schedule? You're going to be out of gas here pretty soon. You're going to be.

[Jim Gaffigan]

No, it's, it's a mistake. But my kids are home, so I had to, you know, all my kids, you know, they, they, they, you know, they, I had one graduate college and, and you know, they're home from college and they're just, they're back and there's just so much drama that'. House. There's conflict and drama and it's like if my house were a neighborhood, it would be a bad neighborhood. Like, I wouldn't recommend going there at night because it is, there's a lot of drama there.

[Christy Lee]

Who's tending your garden while you're gone?

[Jim Gaffigan]

I know, that's the scary thing, right? I'm going on this, this 10 day run and as any gardener knows, it's like, you want, you know, it's nice to go on trips and I have to pay for all these unemployed people that live with me. But I also, my garden, it's, it's very exciting. And I understand some people listening don't consider gardening manly, but gardening is something I enjoy doing while my husband plays golf.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Bob Kevoian]

By the way, Jim, I keep this by my side. It's my bottle of Father Time Precious Batch Kentucky Straight bourbon whiskey from Mr. Gaffigan. Now, are you still in this business?

[Jim Gaffigan]

I am. We have. Our latest release is the Caboose. I'm not sure which one you have there. Is that firstborn or.

[Bob Kevoian]

This is the one. Yeah. This is Firstborn edition with the picture of your dad on the phone on the COVID On the. On the bottle, I should say.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah, yeah, That's. It's my. It's actually my grandfather, but, you know, me, my dad, my grandfather. There's. The genetic pool. Was not. There was not a lot of variety there.

[Bob Kevoian]

I was gonna say that looks. It looks just like you. It is scary.

[Jim Gaffigan]

And, you know, my youngest kid looks like me, and I'm like, I feel. I feel sorry for the poor guy and. But he's a smart kid, so he'll be able to overcome the weakness when it comes to appearance. Hopefully. But yes. So that is. You know, we have the fifth edition, and, you know, I know that, you know, there's a lot of bourbon fans out there, and there's probably people looking for a Father's Day gift. And obviously, Father Time is a perfect gift for Father's Day. It's mainly [e-mail]. you know, we're not a big brand. It's just me and a buddy from college, and it's an excuse for me to keep trying to drink bourbon. You know, it's kind of. It's. It's kind of like this whole thing prepping me to go to aa, I guess, is what you would call it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, I. I saw your last live show, and I would say a solid, hilarious, maybe 20 minutes on the origins of bourbon. And I learned a lot, and I laughed a lot. It was very interesting. Are you still doing a bourbon hunk on this new tour? And just. By the way, does this new tour have a name?

[Jim Gaffigan]

This new tour is called the Everything Is Wonderful Tour. And because everything is wonderful. Right? Laughing already because everything's just wonderful. You know, I. Actually, most of the bourbon stuff I did in a. In a. In a mini kind of YouTube set called Live from Old Forester. I shot it in Louisville, and it's. It's also available on all the audio platform. I'm. I would say this hour of material, I'm mainly complaining about my kids in different ways. There's a lot of things to complain about. The great irony is when I started stand up, I complained about my dad. This is how long I've been doing. I complained about my dad and now I complain about my kids and my. Hopefully I'll get to the point where I can complain about my grandchildren. You know what I mean?

[Bob Kevoian]

What is the age of your youngest?

[Jim Gaffigan]

My youngest is 13, my eldest is 22. And there's just, you know, there's. I understand it's developmentally appropriate for them to challenge boundaries, but they're stealing my stuff. That's what I don't like. There's a lot of just burglary occurring and I wake up, I'm like, that's my coat. Why is my 16 year old in my blue jeans? Where are my socks? Why am I sticking this gun in my mouth? It's just a never ending thing.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now you live in New York City. Do your kids have any desire to drive and are they driving?

[Jim Gaffigan]

It is interesting. You know, it was such a pivotal point of my teenage life was getting the driver's license. But it varies, you know, my eldest is a big driver, but you know, my 20 year old and 16 year old, they really, they're just not that interested in driving. And in some ways I'm kind of like, that's okay, that's okay. Because in New York that's okay. You know, I'm not saying they're, you know, bad drivers, but they'd probably be bad drivers.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do you keep a car in the city?

[Jim Gaffigan]

I do, I do. And I pay for parking, which is what I probably paid for my first apartment. It was, it's just there's. There makes no. Everything I do. Makes no sense. I, you know, I have five kids. Makes no sense. I live in New York City. Makes no sense. I have a place in the suburbs where I have this huge garden. Makes no sense. Because I travel. It's. Everything I do. Makes no sense. But that's, you know, I'm a pale guy, I can't go outside. That makes no sense either.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. What are you growing, may I ask?

[Jim Gaffigan]

You know, I, you know, being from Indiana, I feel compelled to grow corn. But I'm in the Northeast and it never really works. I mean, we get a couple dinners out of it, but a lot of shishito peppers, you know, But I pretty much grow everything. Like, I have grapes, I have berries that the little critters in my yard love to eat, strawberries, where I might get like four a year. You know, it's really a struggle, but it's, you know, like you look I spend a lot of time on social media because I'm a winner, right? Looking at reels. And every other gardener looks, knows exactly what they're doing. You know, like they go to their raised bed and you just see like, just a bounty of produce. I go to my raised bread. It looks like it's like Sarajevo in the early 80s. It makes, it makes no sense because I do try. I have a compost. I'm too afraid to get bees. But like I, you know, I wanna, I'm a total nerd when it comes to that, you know, I don't know if I can convince my wife I'd love to get chickens, but again, I travel too much, you know.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, one of our guys did the chicken thing. You don't want to do it.

[Jim Gaffigan]

You'll be, you'll be smelly, right?

[Christy Lee]

Well, the raccoons like to eat them

[Chick McGee]

and the coyotes and the chickens almost refuse to die sometimes running around headless and bloody.

[Bob Kevoian]

And then all your, all your friends don't want any more of your eggs. And it ends up costing you about $300 per egg. But, hey, Jim's here. Tell him we're not here. I don't want any more eggs. Heywood Banks has chickens. He always brings me eggs.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Oh, that's fun.

[Bob Kevoian]

In the world of.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I mean, it is, it's fun. The first time he brings you eggs and then you're like, I'm at work. What am I going to do with these eggs?

[Bob Kevoian]

Jim Gaffigan is our guest. Jim is on a major 10 day tour. He'll be beginning in Highland, California this evening. Then lots of other stops in, including Redding. Coming up on next Monday, Bend, Oregon on June 9th. What's a beautiful spot? Reno, Nevada, June 12th. Then San Francisco for a couple nights coming up. And then Toledo, Ohio. The next leg is, begins in Toledo with the Toledo zoo Amphitheater on July 16th. That'll be a great show. Then the 18th, it'll be. It'll be St. Louis. Are you going to be driving when you're around here? Are you going to drive through the Midwest or. You do have to fly everywhere.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I'm going to. I'm probably going to do. The most difficult thing I could do is, you know, I think it's. Yeah, it's a lot of flights. You know, like I'm going to. I have a show outside of Minneapolis. I have a, you know, Toledo. I have a show in St. Louis. It's just. But I love it. I'm grateful for it, but it is kind of, you know, As I sit in this booth in the airport, it's just, you don't want to be recognized by a TSA worker, not because of your comedy, but because they see you so often. Oh, hey, you.

[Bob Kevoian]

Jim Gaffigan is our guest. Did you get back to Indiana to where you grew up much?

[Jim Gaffigan]

I. You know, I haven't. I. You know, we. We always go back to the Chicagoland area, usually around Christmas, but. And usually during the summer, I try and get back. It's just so beautiful up there. But I haven't been back for a while. I gotta figure it out. You know, some of it is I've got this place that I just, you know, once you have a place that's nice, and I've got my garden, I'm. I'm less likely to want to go on trips, you know, but I do have my family come. My, My. My family comes one weekend, and then my wife's family comes another weekend. And, you know, I just drink bourbon. That's what I do.

[Bob Kevoian]

We're speaking. We're speaking with the comedian Jim Gaffigan. Any acting gigs in the offing?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Well, I am. Right now. I'm the Gilded age. I'm playing Grover Cleveland, really. You know, just doing a couple episodes on there and then. But otherwise, I mean, there's, you know, my short term memory. I don't know if it's just alcoholism or narcissism, but I can't remember anything. But I would say, yeah, you know, there's always some things in the air, and then, you know, like, I'll do a Bob's Burgers episode here and there. But, you know, I really rely on my creative fulfillment coming from stand up, and that's just, you know, I'm just so grateful that I can go out there and do these shows and. And it's. It's so awesome because I've, you know, I'm often returning to places I've been multiple times. So, like, people. I'm doing a show outside of Fresno, and so people will be coming back having seen me, you know, a handful of times, and they've seen what I'm complaining about at different moments in my life. It's a special thing we can share.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now you're a child graduating from college. Any career plans yet?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Well, she majored in classics, which is classic, you know, and the job opportunities for people that have, like, a minor in Latin is not huge. It's so interesting because, you know, I studied finance and tell diarrhea jokes, so,

[Ally Breen]

you know,

[Jim Gaffigan]

my daughter wants to be an actor, and I'm like, you know, you have to support it. And I also grew up in a family where no one was in the entertainment industry, and so I want to support it, but it is. I think it's possibly the worst time to go into acting. But you. You want to encourage someone to explore their Dre. You know what I mean?

[Bob Kevoian]

Does she. Does she speak classical Greek?

[Bill Engvall]

She.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I think she did. Latin was. You know, you have to take a language, and it was Latin, which is, as you know, a dead language.

[Bob Kevoian]

Not all that handy for traveling.

[Chick McGee]

Better than forklift.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Not really. Really?

[Bob Kevoian]

Once again, we're speaking with comedian Jim Gaffigan. You got a whole bunch of hats you wear. Author, an amateur farmer. I somehow feel that there'll be a whole gardening hunk coming up in a year or so with all, you know.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah, I would love to. I mean, my fantasy is to write a book. I've never really talked about this, but, like, a book where, like, one side is, like, how Bourbon Saved My Life, and then if you turn it Upside down, you know, like, there's books that go two different ways. You turn it Upside down is how gardening saved my life, you know, because they are completely different hobbies. But my kids make fun of me because during the summer, I'm always talking about my garden, and I'm like, here, you have to try this. I grew a cucumber, and my kids are like, that's great, dad. And so those are my two passions. So I would love to do something about gardening. It's a great community. That's the gardening community. Because it's just, you know, it's a certain mental illness being a gardener, Right? You're just out there playing in the mud.

[Chick McGee]

There are a lot of.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I love it.

[Bob Kevoian]

There are a lot of especially English rock stars that are very big gardeners.

[Jim Gaffigan]

The English love gardens, Right? There is something. There's a connection there. And the, you know, the. You know, there's different zones for gardening. So, like, I think England, it's like I'm more of a vegetable guy because I'm a macho guy. You know, I like real vegetables. But, like, the English, they're so into gardening, and they have some of the. The, you know, not ideal climate for it kind of limits what they can grow. It's not like, you know, San Diego, where you can grow just about anything. You know what I mean? It's like they're obsessed with gardening. And it's like people in the Philippines and Hawaii are, like, just throwing seeds out windows and growing forests you know.

[Bob Kevoian]

You know what I mean?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Of course. Of all the Beatles. By the way, for those that want to know, George Harrison was the gardener.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Oh, he was, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

When the Beatles broke up, he spent the next several years gardening. Seriously, that famous shot of him on All Things Must Pass in front of the big mansion, he would go out with the gardening crew every day for 12 hours for years. It just. Jim, it's always a great pleasure. I always appreciate the fact that you're kind enough to keep calling us in spite of your great success. We hope to see you soon live. And lots of shows on the way. We'll stick a link up. If you go to Jim Gaffigan's website, could you give me the. The name of the place to get Father Time bourbon again? What is it?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Yeah, that's Fathertime. One word-bounbon.com. because it is. It's pretty much. It's just sold online. I mean, there's a rare example here and there where it's available in stores, which is great, but it's mainly available online, and it really is a fun gift. I. I sign every bottle. So, you know, and it's a great gift for high school graduates. You know,

[Chick McGee]

that's right.

[Jim Gaffigan]

The whole idea of Father Time is about how parents, you know, the tagline is a father's joy is earned. But really, you know, as you know, Tom, you've got a bunch of kids. It's like parenting is a thankless task. And so, you know, you know, kind of some shout out for the parents is a nice thing, and it encourages drinking, which is always okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, thank you, Jim. Jim Gaffigan on tour. Do not miss him live. The man is just brilliant and obviously just a joy to be around. Thank you, sir.

[Chick McGee]

Have a great father.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Thanks, you guys, for having me.

[Christy Lee]

Gardening. I. I'm. And his. His son at, when it's harvest time, does great little videos about what they've harvested, and I just enjoy it very much.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's always funny if you read about these English rock stars, you know, you're thinking, oh, they're going to be like, Jeff Beck, for example, spent all of his time of toying with hot rods. But a lot of these guys, you'll. Well, he's not available to record. He's in his garden. And as Gaffigan pointed out, it's the soil there is not all that friendly.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, you need a hobby. That's what you need.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, a hobby. A garden, maybe A garden.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

How about that?

[Christy Lee]

You don't like gardening?

[Bob Kevoian]

No, I just don't have the time.

[Chick McGee]

Grow beefsteak tomatoes.

[Christy Lee]

See, that's why you get a hobby, because you create the time or your hobby.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, I'll tell you what, one of my hobbies kind of is taking pictures, which leads us right to this. Another great Father's Day gift is the Aura frame. A U R A. These are terrific. Like I said the other day, a friend of mine called and said, is that really as cool as you say it is? And it is. There's one right behind Josh. We keep it in the studio. The Aura frame is an electric frame. It's a very, how would you describe it? A simple, classic looking picture frame.

[Christy Lee]

Well, that was a night me and Jess. There's a photograph, Wisconsin or Appleton, Wisconsin,

[Bob Kevoian]

and it'll cycle through a bunch of photographs and videos. And the really cool thing about this is, and the reason it's a great Father's Day gift and the reason we encourage people to get it for Mother's Day is once you give it to, say, your dad, if he lives in a different, you know, whatever, different part of town, different state, whatever, you can load photographs on it, whatever you want remotely. And it's really simple. I even can do it. So now the beauty of that is instead of just sending someone a phone, a little like a photo they can look at on their phone, they can see it in all of its glory on this beautiful frame. The aura frames, they've got a special thing going right now. It's by the way, it's been named number one by wire cutter. So you don't have to believe me. Visit auraframes.com aura and take a look. For a limited time, Bob and Tom show listeners can get 35 bucks off select frames if you use the code TOM. So they've expanded the number of options that you have to get that great savings. This is a terrific gift. I like to say if I had three arms, I'd give this three thumbs up. Aura auraframes.com Unlimited video and photographs. You can load it, as I said, remotely. And you can support our show by mentioning the Bob and Tom show when you check out aura oraframes.com A Great Father's Day gift. Coming up, we have more of your letters. Also, we have sexy time with Ali Breen on the way today and another great comedian, Bill Engvall. We'll be talking to Bill today. So a lot to look forward to. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and

[Chick McGee]

Tom show this morning.

[Bob Kevoian]

Catch any part of the show you bring missed. Later Today on our YouTube channel, there's a new way to Sweetgreen Meat Wraps Handheld, hearty and made for life on the move. With bold, chef crafted flavors, fresh ingredients

[Jim Gaffigan]

and over 40 grams of protein, they're

[Bob Kevoian]

built to satisfy without slowing you down. Try wraps today in the app [e-mail] available at all participating locations. Show it close.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Christy Lee at the Newsdale.

[Christy Lee]

Howdy.

[Chick McGee]

How do you do? There's Josh Arnold.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

Hello. There's Ace Cosby. Hey, Pat Godwin on assignment. I am Chick. Hello, Tom.

[Bob Kevoian]

I think he's on his back.

[Christy Lee]

How's he doing? Have you heard from him?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, recovering from what is it called, rotator cuff surgery.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

So he's got a little machine that's pumping cold water through his. The speed healing thing. Yeah. Helping him out. So he says he's going to be back Monday, but he can't play guitar for a couple months. So I think he'll be doing some a cappella stuff. We'll have some guest guitar players here, etc. Etc. Just got off the the Zoom line, if you will, with the Blower with comedian Jim Gaffigan on tour. Got a bunch of stops in California, then he'll be swinging through the Midwest. But it's always a great pleasure to talk to Jim.

[Tom Griswold]

Never to be missed. He's a riot, an absolute riot.

[Bob Kevoian]

And he does have his own bourbon Father time. And I was kind of laughing about it. I thought that was his dad. It does look, it looks just like Jim. It's his grandfather.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, they all look. I'll look alike.

[Christy Lee]

And his his youngest son does look just like him.

[Bob Kevoian]

Does he really?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That's why the again is in his last name. Ah, gas. Again.

[Chick McGee]

Again.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now time to get to our letters,

[Chick McGee]

emails from our listeners brought to you by sleep number cool down and save on sleep numbers temperature solutions for a lim. Save up to a thousand dollars on the climate collection mattresses. Check it out at a sleep number store or on your computer [e-mail].

[Bob Kevoian]

had an argument with my sleep number bed this morning.

[Tom Griswold]

Who won the sleep number bed is way smarter.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, absolutely. It was. It was saying to me it keeps track of all. Stay here.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, man.

[Bob Kevoian]

You're having a great sleep don't do that.

[Chick McGee]

Stay here.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, then, yeah, you did win the argument, but you lost the morning.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Oh, it was nice.

[Chick McGee]

You know what they say. You guys must get up so early. You probably get used to that. Nope, that's.

[Tom Griswold]

That's probably. What is it? Was that the biggest fallacy of.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Always looking for a nap. That's me.

[Christy Lee]

And in the summer, it's really hard because it's 9:30 and it's still light outside.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Try having a bunch of kids having a pool party 20ft from your ear. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. I'm going deaf.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Isn't that how it's timed?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. You know who loves it? My dog. One of my. My big dog. He hovers around me. I'll be in my office. I'll be in my office doing some stuff, getting ready for this.

[Chick McGee]

All right?

[Bob Kevoian]

And he'll. He kind of looks at me like, hey, look, I know the sun's still out, but could we go catch a few worms? He follows me into the bedroom, plops down, and I wake up an hour later, and he's right next to me.

[Christy Lee]

How old is he?

[Bob Kevoian]

He's four.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, four.

[Bob Kevoian]

He's a very good. He argues with me a lot.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, yeah, he's gonna push. Push.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now. He claims he's taking flying lessons.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, is that right?

[Bob Kevoian]

So, really? And he goes, can you drive me to the airport? So why can't you drive to the airport? Because I'm a dog. I can't drive. He's really confused. This first letter here.

[Chick McGee]

He's slowly descending into madness right in front of.

[Christy Lee]

I know. I'm watching it.

[Bob Kevoian]

This letter. I think. I think Josh brought this up, that one of the profoundly lacking things in our culture is the quality of the windshield wiper fluid that is available at gas stations.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, the windshield cleaner.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, the squeegee. And 90% of the time, there's no fluid in them.

[Chick McGee]

It's free for all. I guess they haven't found a way to pay charge for it. I think sometimes they're bone dry. Oh, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And there's often when it's a terrible smell, which you think might be dead bugs.

[Tom Griswold]

I think that's part of it. I think it's just not. Yeah, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

You're taking awful.

[Chick McGee]

I've had the. The squeegee in the bin. Both has. It's been empty for a very long time because you pick the squeegee up and dust comes out of it. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Amazing.

[Chick McGee]

Unbelievable.

[Bob Kevoian]

Here we go. This comes to us from northern Wisconsin. And Nate, who lives in Rice Lake, he says quick trip stores, that's K W I K. Quick trip stores in northern Wisconsin have liquid tubes running to the wiper fluid containers so it is never empty. They're heated in the winter so they don't freeze.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow, that's great.

[Chick McGee]

See, they're so far ahead of us.

[Bob Kevoian]

I get my gas there. If I knew that.

[Chick McGee]

Absolutely. Unfortunately, we don't have a quick trip around here.

[Bob Kevoian]

Let's get the quick trip people to get down here. Or whoever, Whoever makes these. These heated things.

[Christy Lee]

Let's get them in all the gas stations everywhere.

[Bob Kevoian]

Get them in my gas station.

[Christy Lee]

You just go to one.

[Bob Kevoian]

You know me, I've. There's three I go to.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Three, depending on what neighborhood I'm in.

[Chick McGee]

So these three have been checked out by you, is that right?

[Bob Kevoian]

I just. I'm used to them. I know how everything works.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

The one place it's, you know, you. You describe that restaurant is sorry to bother you, Right? Yeah. The one place it's sorry to bother you. Ever heard of a broom?

[Chick McGee]

They're. They're in control. They know it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Remember when they used to keep them clean and nice?

[Chick McGee]

They got something we need. They know it.

[Christy Lee]

What are you talking about? You just. Just pull up, put gas in and drive off. What do you need a broom for?

[Bob Kevoian]

They need one to clean the. Clean up the place.

[Christy Lee]

Are you pump screens?

[Chick McGee]

Are you going in while you're degassing?

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, no.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, the outside is that filthy?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Tom, do you put gas in your car and as it's filling up, you go into the convenience store shop? Are you sure?

[Christy Lee]

I got yelled at for doing that once.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, I don't. I stand there and make phone calls or do wordle or whatever.

[Christy Lee]

You're not supposed to be on your phone.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes, you are. That's a myth. That's. That was.

[Chick McGee]

And he's the one who's warned us forever about one of those exploding a gas station exploding like all the action movies. That's.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's an urban legend.

[Chick McGee]

The cell phone thing.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. That your cell phone is going to ring and it's going to explode while you're gassing.

[Chick McGee]

What about the smoking cigarettes? What about that?

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, smoking a cigarette while gassing up your car, that's. That's just pure stupidity. But anyway, I'm sorry. Do you have another letter? We have to.

[Chick McGee]

We've got two letters, believe it or not. Same. Same topic. Hello, Bob and Tom show, longtime listener. Unfortunately, I was not able to listen to the all all of yesterday's show. Any chance you could update me on Dr. Buckets and the world record attempt? And I follow that up with this. Tom is going to be insufferable. Today crew doctor Buckets, the last story on CBS News.

[Bob Kevoian]

Absolutely.

[Chick McGee]

That's Custer, South Dakota.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, nice morning, John.

[Bob Kevoian]

Dr. Buckets is the nickname of Ryan Martin. Yes, of Mr. Ryan Martin, basketball ace who just set a world record. He was 20, 24 hours shooting, NBA length, three pointers. And was it 15,000 or something? Yeah, Just amazing.

[Christy Lee]

Because of us, we may have gotten him on CBS News.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, but he was on. He was on the network news last evening.

[Christy Lee]

I have a story for you, Tom. This is from Stephanie in Smith Center, Kansas. My dad bought a GTO way back in 1964. The first year they were made.

[Bob Kevoian]

Nice.

[Christy Lee]

If not for that car, I may not be here because it caught my mom's eye. They got married. They had a family. You know how this works. Well, they needed a family car. So he went to trade in his GTO for an Oldsmobile family friendly vehicle. The dealer offered him $350 as a trade in. His dad reconsidered, kept the GTO. He is now 83 and still owns.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, nice.

[Christy Lee]

He takes it for a drive every once in a while to get the cobwebs out. Isn't that amazing?

[Bob Kevoian]

That's America, buddy.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Freedom gto.

[Christy Lee]

Good for you.

[Bob Kevoian]

Open highway.

[Chick McGee]

That is the epitome of a car salesman story. I'll give you $300 for that GTO

[Bob Kevoian]

or a lifetime of joy. Okay. That's a great letter. Thank you. I were to come back. We got more of your letters. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Add to or continue the conversation. Check out the Bob and Tom show on Facebook.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Get the link [e-mail] this is the

[Bob Kevoian]

Bob and Tom Show. Every act of change begins with a neighbor. When neighbors connect through the Feeding America Network, small actions ripple into lasting impact. Feeding America, led by neighbors give now to end [e-mail]

[Chick McGee]

hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios at the news desk. It's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Bill Engvall]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom. We had an NBA Finals game one

[Bob Kevoian]

last night and we'll get to that comeback victory in just a second.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. I'm sure there's something more important.

[Bob Kevoian]

I just want to Say, we spoke with Jim Gaffigan.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, you're right.

[Bob Kevoian]

A few minutes ago. And I was just checking some. If you go to his website, he's got all the dates coming up, and he's heading to California as we speak. We talked to him. He was at the airport in New York at jfk. His bourbon is called Father Time, and the newest batch is now available and it can be sent most places. There are certain states that are somewhat restrictive in this sort of thing, but if you just go to the website, there's a little bar on the top. You can click on that. It'll tell you how to get the special Father Time whiskey. The first, I guess four versions of it are all sold out. So the newest one is called the Caboose. So bourbon fans and Father's Day fans might be a fun thing to do. It's also got Jim's schedule there, so he was great. We'll. We'll post that interview on our various places so you can check it out if you missed it. Now, were you going to get to the sporting scene already?

[Chick McGee]

No. Game one last night, the Knicks, 105 95, winners of game one in San Antonio against Vicky Wembanyama and the San Antonio Victor Wembanyana had 26 points and 12 rebounds. I keep wanting to say Vicki, Vicky, one more. Sure. And I'm. I think I'm gonna say that for now.

[Tom Griswold]

Catching on across the world.

[Chick McGee]

Why the hell not? However, two things ABC announcer Mike Breen did say last night. Tom. Razzle dazzle. Oh, that's just for you. Huh?

[Bob Kevoian]

And that's usually a football term.

[Chick McGee]

And you know, he's got. His signature is bang. I don't know.

[Christy Lee]

Really.

[Tom Griswold]

How often does he say it?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, wow.

[Christy Lee]

Does he really?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, bang. He hits somebody hits a shot. I don't.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Speaking of.

[Chick McGee]

I guess it's an easy catchphrase to remember.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. It's like he wasn't with Ryan Martin, Dr. Buckets over the weekend because he would have said bang more than 11,000 times. That's right. Dr. Buckets made 11,115 NBA distance shots in 24 hours, getting the world record. We spoke to Mr. Ryan Martin, but he's now a doctor. Dr. Buckets.

[Chick McGee]

And you would think that would be the end of it.

[Bob Kevoian]

That was the final story on the CBS Evening News last week.

[Chick McGee]

The Lute News.

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry, you're watching Lewd News.

[Bob Kevoian]

You know something? I would watch that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, me too.

[Bob Kevoian]

Didn't they do like semi naked weather or something like in Mexico?

[Christy Lee]

Don't they have in Mexico, though.

[Chick McGee]

No, presenters are just universion. The weather girls are. Ah, holy hell.

[Bob Kevoian]

Isn't the weather. Isn't the weather pretty much the same every day?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, yeah, hot, but they're like laughably gorgeous.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, you should. You should watch the. Yeah, yeah, you should. Well, I don't know if he. He'd care for them or not.

[Tom Griswold]

They are curvy.

[Chick McGee]

They're curvy.

[Tom Griswold]

And by that I mean 135 pounds.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Am I normal?

[Chick McGee]

I'm sure they're lovely, that 98 pound.

[Bob Kevoian]

Very lovely.

[Chick McGee]

Also other folks here and you know what happened. We have video of it. Some fan tried to run out of the court and get a selfie with Victor Wembanyama during the game.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, look at this.

[Chick McGee]

He's being guarded by the Knicks. Mitchell Robinson. Here he comes. That's the security guy with your back to you. That's him taking the selfie. And.

[Tom Griswold]

And he's taking selfies as he's being sort of tackled.

[Christy Lee]

What a jerk.

[Chick McGee]

And Victor Wembanyama said, I haven't seen anything like that since a bat flew onto the court. And you guys remember San Antonio spurs. Their basketball facility is next to a massive local bat colony that houses over 50 million bats. And they do have bats in the arena from time to time.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm out.

[Chick McGee]

And you know what that means if we talk about bats. Zowie. Wham, bam,

[Tom Griswold]

zoink.

[Chick McGee]

They start singing here any minute. There he is. Oh, my gosh. And right at the bottom, it said in color.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I think it's got any old pas that were standing around.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that was recorded.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I think it was unbelievable.

[Bob Kevoian]

I forgot when it was. It might have been yesterday. I was. I just thought of something Josh said that made me laugh. I kind of forgot what we were talking about and. Oh, we were. We were talking about the. The, I think Route 66 and the old roadside motels.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Get your kicks.

[Bob Kevoian]

And you mentioned the free hbo.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Color tv. Free hbo.

[Bob Kevoian]

Those were different times.

[Christy Lee]

The massage beds,

[Tom Griswold]

I never. I've never had the pleasure of. You

[Christy Lee]

didn't they have the vibrating beds when we were in Kansas or wherever we were on that trip.

[Chick McGee]

I remember doing a vibrating bed one time. And I think it is where.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And those are also things. I've only seen them in movies.

[Chick McGee]

I still can't get over the fact that you can sign in on their tv. Your Netflix account, your Hulu account. Just like being home. It's unbelievable.

[Tom Griswold]

Not enough hotels are doing that.

[Chick McGee]

No, they they. Yeah, they should make those all available.

[Bob Kevoian]

What was it? A quarter?

[Christy Lee]

Yep.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, for the vibrating bed, I think a quarter for three minutes or something

[Christy Lee]

like that,

[Chick McGee]

I think.

[Bob Kevoian]

And I was. I remember I saw him when I was a little kid and it never dawned on me. Now I. Thinking back. And now I know what they were for.

[Christy Lee]

What were they for?

[Bob Kevoian]

You know, the lonely salesman with a copy of Swank.

[Chick McGee]

I don't think that would enhance masturbatory,

[Tom Griswold]

but I think for me it would distract me a little bit.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, I think. I think it was for the lonely salesman who back hurt and wanted to get a mattress.

[Chick McGee]

What we found out quite accidentally on this show was that. And I had no idea about this wayward salesman would leave pornographic material under the mattress for the next wayward salesman.

[Tom Griswold]

That's something.

[Chick McGee]

And there was quite a cache, if you will. Cache of adult entertainment in the mattress.

[Bob Kevoian]

Remember that we get.

[Chick McGee]

Every week we get two or three people. Yeah, I've seen it. I had never.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Never aware of it.

[Bob Kevoian]

It. And one can only imagine the titles. And they were. I imagine they were the lesser. It wasn't like Playboy and Penthouse. It was, you know, D Cup issue. Swank.

[Tom Griswold]

There had been some wild.

[Chick McGee]

But play. Yeah, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Would you leave notes or to your brethren or was it just understood that.

[Chick McGee]

I think it was just understood. And you.

[Bob Kevoian]

You don't want to.

[Chick McGee]

You turned a good deed for your next. Your brother traveler out there on the road.

[Bob Kevoian]

Since you were kind enough to play Batman, the Batman theme, I think we'd be remiss if we didn't remember this classic.

[Chick McGee]

First there was the smash hit of the century which propelled the lackluster film career of Michael Keaton to new heights. Batman. And now in his big screen debut, War and Peace is Buttman.

[Christy Lee]

Miss you, commissioner.

[Chick McGee]

Go down. Yes, I'll talk to my sidekick, the boy wonder. Batman may have Dick Grayson as Robin, but I have Dick Brownson as Swallow. A criminal villain is loose. Swallow to the butt pole. Alfred. Yes, Mr. Buttman, sir? Polish these butt poles, Swallow. And I can't go down on a limp butt pole.

[Bob Kevoian]

My apologies, sir. I assumed incorrectly that one could enter your hideout as easily as Batman entered the Batcave.

[Chick McGee]

To the butt cave, Swallow. Meanwhile, back in the butt cave, who is terrorizing the gerbils of Gotham City? Uncle.

[Christy Lee]

Get it out.

[Chick McGee]

Swallow. Oh, Swallow. It can't be the Riddler.

[Bob Kevoian]

I knocked him off with the butter rain. You throw it from the front door. But it always goes in the back door. It's the butt phone.

[Christy Lee]

Did you get that?

[Bob Kevoian]

Some ass keeps calling.

[Chick McGee]

You'll thrill to the criminal escapades of Jack Nicholson as the poker.

[Bob Kevoian]

Where does he get all of those wonderful boys?

[Chick McGee]

The famous critics are raging about this blockbuster. Gene Shallet of NBC.

[Bob Kevoian]

This movie is sensational. Non stop excitement. The action is literally shout down your

[Chick McGee]

throat and Siskel and Ebert say two thumbs up buck man. The long awaited Buttman now showing at a blows theater or general cinema near you. Enjoy it in sensoroid. Sound register to win the original Buttmobile. An immaculately cared for brown Ford probe equipped with ejection seats.

[Bob Kevoian]

Haven't dusted that one off for quite some time.

[Chick McGee]

More coming up about the game one of the NBA finals last night. Knicks get the win in San Antonio. 105.95.

[Christy Lee]

That kid needs a big timeout. You can't do that.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, for running on the court.

[Bob Kevoian]

I have a question about that. This kid runs out in the court middle of the game. Can they confiscate his phone?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

I don't think so. But he can be and probably has been or will be banned for life NBA games.

[Christy Lee]

I'm sure that will happen.

[Bob Kevoian]

Could he be arrested? Is that considered trespassing?

[Tom Griswold]

What needs to happen is the social media companies have to say we're not. You are now off of this platform. This will never happen by the way. But that's what should happen because that guy can still post and get 2 million views.

[Christy Lee]

Right? And that's what's going to happen.

[Chick McGee]

That would cut him off at the knee.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you have to. But, but they'll never do it.

[Bob Kevoian]

But I'm wondering, I mean, could security take his phone and just. Okay, give me the phone. Boom. Click. And.

[Christy Lee]

And delete and delete the pictures.

[Tom Griswold]

They should be able to. But I, I mean.

[Bob Kevoian]

But then could he sue them?

[Tom Griswold]

Probably.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, well.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay, There we go. How about burning him at the stake out front?

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

You could be too hard.

[Chick McGee]

You could do that if somebody was broken into your home. But don't you have. You need Simplisafe. The do it yourself design it yourself home security system that is changing the game. Traditional home security only alerts you after a break. Ins already happened. The guy's in there touching your stuff. That's too late. SimpliSafe change and all that. Using advanced AI alert. SimpliSafe US based live agents identify threats on your property and deter them so the intruder never gets into your house in the first place. The crime is stopped even before it starts. And plus with Simplisafe, no long term contracts, no lock ins, as they're called, or hidden cancellation fees. Life happens. And if you need to change things up, change things up. SimpliSafe understands you're not trapped in a contract. And monitoring and deterrence plans start at around a dollar a day. That's affordable pricing only with SimpliSafe to give you peace of mind. And it's easy to set up your own system. I did it in around a half hour. And right now you have a special deal. Just because you know us, you can experience the same peace of mind we do here at the Bob and Tom studios and I do at home. It's the SimpliSafe exclusive discount for Bob and Tom listeners only. You get 50% off your new system just for visiting simplisafetom.com that's half [e-mail] and remember, there's no safe like simply say, that's correct.

[Bob Kevoian]

Thank you very much. We use it right here at the Bob and Tom Show. Coming up, we're gonna have a special edition of Sexy Time with Ali Breen. Also, we'll talk with comedian Bill Angvall. We had a chance to talk with Jim Gaffigan an hour ago. We'll be posting that on our social media. Great, great fun, Great interview. And don't forget, Jim has that cool bourbon out there. Go to his website. It's called Father Time. Make a nice Father's Day gift. And we got some other cool Father's Day ideas for you here in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey there.

[Christy Lee]

I'm Paula Pan. I help people make the smartest money decisions possible. If you don't control your money, it controls you.

[Bob Kevoian]

You're not in control of your finances and you have to look outside of yourself to live the life that you want. You're not in control of your life. Like, what is it that you actually want?

[Jim Gaffigan]

Money should follow the dreams and goals because sometimes we make the dream and goal the money. And you've overworked yourself and you've exceeded what you've needed for the actual thing you want. Sometimes we forget, like, what's the actual thing you want?

[Christy Lee]

Afford anything. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Christy Lee at the news desk. Howdy, there's Josh Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Mike isn't on there it is. It is now, though, isn't it?

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Fox One on vacation. There's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom. How are you?

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, Pat really isn't on vacation. He's recovering from major.

[Chick McGee]

Well, is he on surgery? Sleeping? That's what I do on my vacation.

[Bob Kevoian]

I. I don't know. He's probably.

[Tom Griswold]

He's on vac.

[Bob Kevoian]

A little bit of pain. Coming up, A one of those bizarre stories about. About yeast and. Well, you mean remember the one we had about the. They can. They were brewing beer based on, you know, using the vaginal swabs of.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Really, really hot chicks. Yeah, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Just. But this one's weird. Really odd.

[Tom Griswold]

Odder than that.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Bob Kevoian]

I mean.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, well, Mommy's involved.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. A real mummy. Real mummy.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That's gross.

[Bob Kevoian]

Long dead.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And before that, fun topic last night. Game one, Knicks take it in San Antonio 105, 95 against Vicki Vicky Wem. Wem. And the San Antonio Spurs. And did you know that big segment of the spurs fan base are nuns?

[Tom Griswold]

Is that right?

[Chick McGee]

You heard me.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, they're right there.

[Chick McGee]

Victor Wembanyama got blessed by nuns before the game. And I think we have. Quick. Quick. There he is in their courtside. The salesian Sisters of St John Bosco have been supporting the spurs for decades.

[Bob Kevoian]

Remember the commercial for the. Because Bosco was a chocolate drink, like quick.

[Chick McGee]

Very syrup Bosco.

[Christy Lee]

I don't remember Bosco.

[Bob Kevoian]

It was my favorite commercial of all time as a kid.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

I thought Moscow was East Coast.

[Bob Kevoian]

And so the guy. This guy takes a balloon and every kid's fantasy, he takes a. Just a regular handheld balloon and he starts floating up and he floats up several stories and I guess the kid opens the window and he goes, what? No, Bosco. And he pops the balloon.

[Christy Lee]

Huh? Guy falls, falls to his death.

[Bob Kevoian]

Falls to a tragic death. Yeah, I think they cut it before he splatters down.

[Christy Lee]

I'm just happy to see nuns in their habits. You don't see that very much anymore.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, the special uniforms.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they usually a lot of them. A nice cardigan sweater and a nice baby blue skirt.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's because they kick the habit.

[Christy Lee]

It just depends on what order you're in.

[Bob Kevoian]

But I'm with you, Christy. I this. I like to go to a restaurant, know who's working there. Yeah, I don't want them sitting down next to me where I bear shorts.

[Chick McGee]

Eh?

[Christy Lee]

Do you have your waiter sit down next to you a lot?

[Bob Kevoian]

No, but I mean, you've been to Those places.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

You can't tell who works there.

[Chick McGee]

You know, you. You invite that sort sort of thing, though. You yakking, you running your mouth.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm interested in them as people, but I.

[Christy Lee]

That's why I never wear a red polo shirt and khakis to Target. Because then people think you work there.

[Bob Kevoian]

I've been approached a couple times at Home Depot wearing a khaki shirt.

[Chick McGee]

And you don't tell them.

[Christy Lee]

You should get one of those.

[Chick McGee]

You don't tell them any. You should get an orange vest.

[Bob Kevoian]

I told you. A couple years ago, I helped some lady buy Christmas lights. I spent 45 minutes with her.

[Chick McGee]

See, once again.

[Bob Kevoian]

But I worked.

[Chick McGee]

There you are.

[Bob Kevoian]

She was a sweet old lady. Getting my big Christmas lights. Fan. I was here.

[Chick McGee]

No, ma', am, we don't have Tom Griswold working here. Boys, take her away now.

[Bob Kevoian]

So these are the. The Holy sisters of Bosco. I have the Bosco commercial for. Would you like to hear it?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I can't wait.

[Tom Griswold]

Turn it up.

[Christy Lee]

Hear that?

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. Sorry. Excuse me. We'll start it over. Sorry, was that too loud? No, no. Here we go.

[Christy Lee]

Together with the twist.

[Chick McGee]

Bosco Nova Pu.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, I. It was a chocolate drink. I. I was that regional, though.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I don't think you must have been the most western of it.

[Christy Lee]

I didn't.

[Chick McGee]

I. I don't remember. Bosco's. As always. Nestle quick.

[Tom Griswold]

I had to look it up when I saw it referenced on a Seinfeld episode once.

[Chick McGee]

Absolutely. Yep.

[Bob Kevoian]

So. I'm sorry. So these nuns, they're Their courtside and they.

[Chick McGee]

They blessed Victor Wembanyama. But it didn't work. Did not. The big guys might be a Knicks fan. I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe if he hadn't been blessed, he would have broke his leg. We don't know what that blessing did.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, wow. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Just because he didn't win doesn't mean the blessing didn't take.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that fantasy.

[Bob Kevoian]

Maybe. Maybe Jesus likes the show. Then came Bronson.

[Chick McGee]

So Jalen Brunson.

[Bob Kevoian]

Mr. Brunson had 30.

[Chick McGee]

Yep.

[Bob Kevoian]

The next. Maybe he's favoring him.

[Chick McGee]

They call him Captain Clutch. Now.

[Bob Kevoian]

Way things are going, I wouldn't think that God has much time to spend watching basketball. He's got a lot to fix right now.

[Chick McGee]

And, oh, by the way, this is

[Tom Griswold]

just his job to fix anything. I think he.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, he just lets it go loose.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, it's not really how it works, but why would I bother talking to you about it?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's true. This video is for Josh and Josh alone. Back. Earlier in the week at the Urumqi Botanical Garden in Xinjiang. Walla walla walla Bing Bing Bang, China. A robot was performing on Children's Day and accidentally kicked a kid in the.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, no.

[Chick McGee]

There he is wearing a blue wig. Now hang in there. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Boom.

[Chick McGee]

And the kid goes down.

[Tom Griswold]

These things have to be stopped.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's a.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a roundhouse kick.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And it. It's a. But it's a dancing humanoid robot.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Perfectly.

[Bob Kevoian]

And the dancing is going great.

[Chick McGee]

Whoa. I gotta back off.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I. I messed up.

[Tom Griswold]

Immediately dismantled.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, it should be me. Bad.

[Bob Kevoian]

And the. The blue fright wig is disturbing.

[Chick McGee]

Somebody thought that would. I don't make it more human.

[Tom Griswold]

What are you gonna do? The robot found a box of wigs. He went, hey, this will be fun.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay, here we go. Bosco is a very popular chocolate syrup and chocolate milk drink mix.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Through the 1960s.

[Christy Lee]

You can still buy it. I found it on Amazon. They still make it.

[Bob Kevoian]

I just remember the commercial.

[Tom Griswold]

Riddled with silverfish.

[Bob Kevoian]

It was introduced. It was introduced in Camden, New Jersey, in 1928 and became famous through radio and television ads aimed at children. And here's something that. Josh, this is gonna make this whole thing worth it for you.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm skeptical.

[Christy Lee]

As you should be.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. If I'm right, I want you to stand up and come over here and

[Tom Griswold]

shake my hand like you would. Let me shake your hand.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I tried to have him touch my cold hand yesterday. I was cold and he was like.

[Tom Griswold]

He recoiled physically.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, he physically and internally recorded as a movie buff. Amazing.

[Bob Kevoian]

I would say if you had. If you went to the. The average movie buff and said, what are the 10 most famous scenes in the history of cinema? This is one of them. It's the shower scene from the movie Psycho. And this says Bosco was famously used as the fake blood in the shower scene in the movie Psycho.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I knew it was chocolate syrup.

[Bob Kevoian]

I didn't know it was because it looked convincing as a black and white film.

[Chick McGee]

I have never gotten an effective mix with syrup as opposed to powder.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I'm. I completely. I'm the opposite.

[Christy Lee]

I agree with Chick. I think it's because we were. Well, I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Was syrup always was better for clumpy? No, it doesn't. No. I guess I just did it right.

[Bob Kevoian]

The syrup was better if you were making hot chocolate.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Is your implication we were doing it wrong?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I know you two, and I guarantee this is what happened.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

You didn't you didn't. There wasn't enough patience involved in you

[Chick McGee]

probably being a fat kid. I was like, give me that chocolate.

[Tom Griswold]

And I was so fat that I needed it. Perfect.

[Bob Kevoian]

Did you ever mess with it?

[Christy Lee]

I was a fat kid too.

[Bob Kevoian]

Did you ever take Nestle Square?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

You put it in a glass of milk.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Bob Kevoian]

And then you add two teaspoons of sugar.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Gosh, no.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Chick McGee]

I'm.

[Bob Kevoian]

Maybe it was just me.

[Chick McGee]

I didn't.

[Tom Griswold]

How. You have both your feet still.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's amazing, isn't it?

[Chick McGee]

I'm sad that I didn't.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. My intake of sugar and salt was just amazing.

[Christy Lee]

It is.

[Chick McGee]

Back in the day, you know, there's a school of thought. You should stay away from all white powder cocaine. This story is just for time.

[Bob Kevoian]

By the way, one more thing to. To underscore what you said earlier. George Costanza's ATM pin on Seinfeld was Bosco.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And as Christy pointed out, Kramer figured it out. It's still sold through Bosco World.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

So I'd like a Bosco T shirt. That'd be fun, right?

[Christy Lee]

They're kind of cute.

[Chick McGee]

Long sleeve, please.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's a very colorful. Each letter is a different color. It's a very nice.

[Chick McGee]

No kissing.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

You're boycotting short sleeves altogether.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

If I can help it. As a matter of fact, I will wear a short sleeve with a long sleeve under it.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's pretty hip.

[Chick McGee]

It's just my affectation.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's nice.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

This story.

[Bob Kevoian]

You needed a new one just for Tom.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you. Argentina is drawing a big crowd wherever it goes as it prepares for the World Cup. Tom. That's right. Fans gathered outside the Kansas City hotel housing the Argentinian team. Hundreds of reporters attended their first Open training session yesterday. Argentina will begin their title defense against Algeria on June 16th at Arrowhead.

[Tom Griswold]

Shouldn't we do just. Just countries that matter, Coach?

[Chick McGee]

Lyon. Well, Argentina probably, but Algeria doesn't have favorites for the.

[Bob Kevoian]

What? What.

[Chick McGee]

What are you doing here, Tom? What's the problem?

[Tom Griswold]

I wonder. What does he suggest?

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just. Preparing to watch a World cup game after three hours. One zip.

[Chick McGee]

But that gives us an opportunity to play all the World cup intros that we have. And then we have.

[Bob Kevoian]

I like this one. Could you play them at volume? What are you playing those through?

[Tom Griswold]

The way you two have your system set up. It's. It's not good for any other of your co workers or listeners.

[Christy Lee]

No,

[Tom Griswold]

I have to have these special Headphones. And I have to have this volume control at this maximum level.

[Chick McGee]

And who cares if the people on

[Tom Griswold]

the radio listening can actually enjoy it or not? It's all for me

[Christy Lee]

now.

[Tom Griswold]

This one's too loud.

[Christy Lee]

These are always too loud because he can't hear.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, this is. This is on Eddie, not me.

[Christy Lee]

No, it's not on Eddie.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, I didn't consider that.

[Chick McGee]

I think.

[Christy Lee]

Josh, you have a slider, you can.

[Chick McGee]

Josh is going Monday to get a. What is it?

[Tom Griswold]

Colon hospital.

[Chick McGee]

You should have a CAT scan while you're there.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

He didn't like that one at all?

[Chick McGee]

No, hated it. A pair of British golfers have landed back to back holes in one on the same hole.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, if it was.

[Bob Kevoian]

In other words, two guys are playing.

[Tom Griswold]

In other words,

[Chick McGee]

explain it.

[Christy Lee]

We don't know what that meant.

[Bob Kevoian]

So It's a par three. Guy number one gets up, gets a hole in one. Guy number two gets up, gets a hole in 1.

[Christy Lee]

Amazing. Amazing.

[Tom Griswold]

Wake me when this happens on a par six.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

David Lewis.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's.

[Tom Griswold]

That's an interesting hole.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

David Lewis, 64, and Rob Davis, 67. I don't know what their ages have to do with anything. Both sank their shots on the 107 yard.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God. That's a chip shot.

[Chick McGee]

Fifteenth hole and still. Royal Liverpool Golf Club. That's like a putt putt.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. What wedges did they use?

[Christy Lee]

Right, Exactly.

[Bob Kevoian]

So what? It's still. You got to get it in the hole.

[Chick McGee]

The chances are. You ready? The chances of two amateur golfers achieving back to back holes in one on the same hole are around 1 in 156 million. Now that's like you have 156 million chances and it can only happen one time.

[Bob Kevoian]

You know, this is kind of cool. I mean, does this make them Eskimo brothers?

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Bob Kevoian]

Two balls, same hole.

[Tom Griswold]

When you put it that way, maybe that's four balls.

[Bob Kevoian]

Don't ask him what brothers are Christy?

[Tom Griswold]

No, ask Willie and Sam.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, but they're already brothers, so that doesn't count.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, it still counts.

[Chick McGee]

I think it's.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm teasing. I have no idea if they. It's when two guys sleep with the same girl.

[Chick McGee]

Oh.

[Bob Kevoian]

Not necessarily at the same time.

[Tom Griswold]

Right, right, right. They just have that in common. Okay, so Baskimo sisters could happen, too.

[Christy Lee]

Gotcha.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm sure you and your friends have some sort of.

[Chick McGee]

Sure.

[Christy Lee]

Down the line.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

World record.

[Chick McGee]

Everybody got that? Clark County, Nevada, has broken the Guinness World Record. Oh, you're not. You're not going to be upset at anything after this. Clark County, Nevada has broken the Guinness world record for the largest blanket fort.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Bob Kevoian]

Blanket fort?

[Tom Griswold]

You know, I'm immediately on board.

[Christy Lee]

So I. I love a blanket fort.

[Tom Griswold]

I do too.

[Bob Kevoian]

My 10 year old just made one the other night and it involved all the cushions on the cushions from the couch.

[Chick McGee]

Nowhere near the record. Officials announced they achieved the record with a blanket fort measuring 14,103 square feet.

[Bob Kevoian]

Think about that.

[Chick McGee]

Think about that.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's. That's a house.

[Tom Griswold]

Would you make them, Chick?

[Christy Lee]

14,000 square feet is bigger than my house.

[Chick McGee]

There's three houses.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't that. That really tells you something, doesn't it? Well, that's half a house.

[Bob Kevoian]

Get up early, work hard. Maybe someday bother some people.

[Chick McGee]

Constructed at the Desert Breeze Community Center. What do we know about the Desert Breeze Community Center? At least it's a dry heat they take. There's a bus that leaves for the casino three times a day.

[Bob Kevoian]

You can imagine what they used for structural integrity. I'm assuming.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, it should be like any other couch fort. It should be. Or a blanket for. It should be chairs.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Or couch cushions.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

I was thinking the effluent of teenage boys.

[Tom Griswold]

It could be what you coat the blankets and.

[Chick McGee]

What are you saying? Who are you getting us in trouble with now? Thank God you got up early and worked hard. It was constructed with hundreds of sheets, binder clips, tent structures, rope, pipe and other materials.

[Tom Griswold]

None of that counts for a blanket for fort.

[Chick McGee]

It was a fully enclosed blanket fort.

[Christy Lee]

There it is.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, it's boring.

[Christy Lee]

It looks like a big tent.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you can see those tents. It looks like outside any Californian city

[Bob Kevoian]

or a clan rally.

[Tom Griswold]

In fact, I saw one of those in Bloomington, Indiana.

[Bob Kevoian]

Not too long ago. That is.

[Chick McGee]

You're right.

[Bob Kevoian]

I hadn't seen a photograph. That's really boring.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, this is like the. When the car dealers get together, the 10 is up.

[Bob Kevoian]

Come on out.

[Chick McGee]

Make. Make your deal.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Yikes.

[Tom Griswold]

That is boring.

[Bob Kevoian]

I thought it was blankets and pillows and.

[Tom Griswold]

Right. No, this is not. These are essentially tents. They just used sheets instead of real stuff.

[Bob Kevoian]

And obviously it's being supported. They must have like tent poles.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's what he said. Pipes.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm out.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. This is not a blanket fort. I'm sorry, Guinness, you're wrong.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, not even. Not even worthy of having a pillow fight to celebrate.

[Christy Lee]

Nope.

[Bob Kevoian]

When's the last time you had a good pillow fight, Christy?

[Chick McGee]

And just your panties?

[Christy Lee]

College. I don't know.

[Bob Kevoian]

I've got a thing for you. This weekend.

[Chick McGee]

I know it.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

This weekend.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

I want you to. When he's not expecting it, walk up to your husband and just. Just do a haymaker to the face with a pillow. You'll thank me later.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. You try that at home. See what happens.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm not gonna throw with him. I'm just saying it'll. It might lead to something.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

But in fairness.

[Chick McGee]

Is that what you want?

[Tom Griswold]

Do you think it would lead to something if you got home and your wife hit you in the face with a pillow, like a haymaker, as you put it? Would you then go, may I now take you to the bedroom?

[Chick McGee]

Let's go do it?

[Bob Kevoian]

That might be great. Now, if I did it to her, I'd be looking for an apartment this afternoon.

[Christy Lee]

Right. But you think that would.

[Bob Kevoian]

I also scope out one near the house.

[Christy Lee]

You think that's considered foreplay?

[Bob Kevoian]

Absolutely.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Chick McGee]

Okay. That. People listening. That was way too real. He means this.

[Tom Griswold]

That's really.

[Bob Kevoian]

If you.

[Chick McGee]

If you really does.

[Bob Kevoian]

If you hit Andy, if you hit

[Chick McGee]

him in any way, like, he's.

[Bob Kevoian]

He's brushing his teeth, he puts the toothbrush down, you whack him with a pillow, you might as well. That is absolute invitation for mayhem of all sorts, primarily ending in a coitus. And, you know, the old. In, out.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Young men out there listening. If some. If you are brushing your teeth and the woman hits you with a pillow, that is not necessarily an invite to sex.

[Bob Kevoian]

I expect to get. I. I expect to get letters by Monday.

[Chick McGee]

Could be abuse or.

[Christy Lee]

Or she's mad at you or something

[Tom Griswold]

now.

[Christy Lee]

I don't think I've ever hit anybody with a pillow. Well, I mean, I don't.

[Chick McGee]

Have you ever hit anybody with a pillow?

[Christy Lee]

Of course.

[Tom Griswold]

Pillow fights were fun.

[Bob Kevoian]

I have brothers and a sister. Are you kidding?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, what am I saying? Of course. You guys had naked pillow fights when you were.

[Bob Kevoian]

You betcha. Oh. And then eventually their feathers flying and the pillowcases are off.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, boy. We never got to that.

[Bob Kevoian]

Did you have feather pillows?

[Tom Griswold]

I doubt it.

[Bob Kevoian]

I was gonna say those chunks of foam were coming off of my pillow,

[Tom Griswold]

but we also would.

[Chick McGee]

He doesn't say that.

[Tom Griswold]

No. I mean, that's. Yeah. No at all. My pillow. He very clearly pillow. That's part of the accent.

[Chick McGee]

Absolutely.

[Bob Kevoian]

Did he learn to pronounce that in prison? We're gonna come right back.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, Russell Wilson.

[Tom Griswold]

Everybody has a pass. Tom.

[Chick McGee]

Russell Wilson's going into tv. Another reason to avoid pregame shows.

[Tom Griswold]

Two sports brands.

[Chick McGee]

Russell and Wilson. That's right.

[Bob Kevoian]

We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Jim Gaffigan]

This is the Bob and Tom Show. Reach us toll free at 1-888-bobtom1 [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christy Lee]

Tomorrow morning is knocking. Stock your fridge now. How about a creamy mocha Frappuccino drink? Or a sweet vanilla smooth caramel maybe? Or white chocolate mocha. Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits. Find Starbucks Frappuccino drinks wherever you buy

[Bob Kevoian]

your groceries, clues, box office.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. That's what a breath sounds like. Here's Christy Lee at the news dash.

[Tom Griswold]

You know what the. Well, if. If I had been given the. The. Shut up. I would have been able to get it out.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold. There's Ace.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm sorry, what was that?

[Chick McGee]

No, no, no. And the reason he was quiet just then, he was augering indoor snow.

[Tom Griswold]

He's really having an eye.

[Bob Kevoian]

So I am using a Kleenex.

[Chick McGee]

Good God.

[Bob Kevoian]

This is radio. If you'd shut up.

[Tom Griswold]

Working in the cold.

[Christy Lee]

How deep does your nose go?

[Chick McGee]

How deep is your nose? How deep is your.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm not sure, but it's running.

[Chick McGee]

I really want. Remember, if your nose runs, your feet smell. You're upside down.

[Bob Kevoian]

Never heard that.

[Christy Lee]

Well, that either.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now, what else is happening in the world of sports? We have.

[Chick McGee]

So Russell Wilson retired. Russell the Love Muscle. He's going to be on cbs, the pregame show. Just another reason to stay away from all the pregame shows.

[Bob Kevoian]

And as you. And as you pointed out, Russell Wilson.

[Tom Griswold]

Two sports brands.

[Bob Kevoian]

Two sports brands.

[Tom Griswold]

Little on the nose there.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Is he. Is he Russell Spalding Wilson?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, wait a minute.

[Bob Kevoian]

No. He's Russell Voight.

[Chick McGee]

I love that Voight. Once again, the 60s. You're just killing it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Are the Voight people no longer prominent in the sports industry?

[Chick McGee]

Prominent?

[Tom Griswold]

Boy, they may still make a volleyball or something. Something.

[Christy Lee]

Let's look.

[Tom Griswold]

I have no idea.

[Bob Kevoian]

My go to.

[Chick McGee]

Here's a list of people who are upset that Russell Wilson is retiring.

[Bob Kevoian]

Thank you.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. That's the entire.

[Tom Griswold]

He's done. Voit and Scott Pelley will be playing golf.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Soccer balls, volleyballs and sports gear. They're still out there.

[Chick McGee]

There you go. They have.

[Christy Lee]

There you go.

[Chick McGee]

A hearty 1/2 of 1% of the market.

[Christy Lee]

What do you do? I sell balls for voice.

[Bob Kevoian]

What the. Quality balls. Could we move so that we have completed the sportscast?

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Don't be upset.

[Tom Griswold]

In fact, I was looking at chick. He was smiling.

[Chick McGee]

I just can't get over. You have a very. I put my finger on it, a presidential look about you with those new glasses. I see you behind the. The Resolute.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

And making decisions.

[Tom Griswold]

I know. I. They're still kind of throwing me a little bit, even though I think they look pretty good.

[Chick McGee]

Is it called the Resolute?

[Tom Griswold]

Although they're a little close. Have you noticed that they're at least closer than his other.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, they're not as wide.

[Tom Griswold]

So it kind of reminds me of when you were a kid and you would try on Mr. Potato Heads glasses. Very close.

[Chick McGee]

A little bit.

[Bob Kevoian]

I have to wear these only when I'm here for this computer, so. But the ones I had are no good.

[Chick McGee]

So they're good for eye strain and they're very becoming. As a matter of fact, I'll be

[Tom Griswold]

honestly, Tom, they do look pretty good.

[Bob Kevoian]

This is, I think this is, I think the finest Kroger $12 specs.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Haven't you found that that's sometimes the case?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. You don't have to spend a lot of money.

[Chick McGee]

Never.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, well, now you get what you

[Tom Griswold]

like in the great outdoors where Aykroyd's trying to get his lighter going and he goes, Man, 50 bucks for a lighter and it won't light. And then Candy pulls up a Bic and he lights it. Immediately goes 99 cents. Sometimes that's the case.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now, Christy, we have a. An unusual arrest in the news. I bring it up because he's giving

[Chick McGee]

you a setup here.

[Bob Kevoian]

It involves a microwave. And I thought this was very special because there was an event in this building that is somewhat reminiscent of this

[Christy Lee]

police officer was arrested for allegedly drawing his weapon on a colleague who had microwaved fish. According to the arrest warrant, the detective, Michael Dibias, DBAs, DBSI, probably Ted's boy. He was at police headquarters in Myrtle Beach, Florida. Myrtle Beach, Florida, when he got into a dispute with a patrolman about warming up fish in the microwave, causing an odor in the office. During the confrontation, the detective allegedly drew his department issued handgun and pointed it at the other officer.

[Tom Griswold]

That's funny.

[Christy Lee]

The 46 year old was arrested for pointing and presenting a firearm at a person.

[Tom Griswold]

I do that all the time. If I were a cop, all I would do is jokingly point my gun at people.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's why you're not a cop.

[Tom Griswold]

I know, I know. It's why you failed out of the academy.

[Chick McGee]

You better laugh or I'm gonna shoot you.

[Bob Kevoian]

But now you want to explain the incident Here you are not similar at

[Christy Lee]

the time, were you?

[Tom Griswold]

I microwaved COD here in the green room and it really did.

[Chick McGee]

Oh. Smell up the whole building.

[Tom Griswold]

The whole building and fans had to be brought in. Yeah, it was bad because I had successfully been microwaving salmon and it was not offensive. And then I had COD one night and I did that and it was a mistake.

[Christy Lee]

And you learned from your mistake.

[Tom Griswold]

I did. And you guys had to suffer. It was a lesson for me, but just punishment for you guys. And I apologize.

[Chick McGee]

It used to be the biggest mistake ever made this building.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Well, now popcorn to the goose. Has.

[Bob Kevoian]

I have a question about this.

[Christy Lee]

I have a question about this too, because.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, there's no. There is no that.

[Christy Lee]

There's no Myrtle Beach, Florida Beach, South Carolina. Yeah, they.

[Bob Kevoian]

I have my question though is, do you think there's more to this story?

[Christy Lee]

They had. They had a beef before history.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. I mean, do you think the guy starts cooking the fish, it stinks.

[Chick McGee]

And banging his wife?

[Christy Lee]

Maybe.

[Bill Engvall]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

The other guy said, what's the matter? Remind you too much of your wife? That's, that's what I'm.

[Tom Griswold]

Would that cause you to pull your gun?

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, first of all, I'm not a cop, so I'm not carrying.

[Tom Griswold]

I know, but you carry a gun.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, well,

[Chick McGee]

he doesn't want people to know that.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, sorry. Can you imagine him nervously having a gun on him?

[Christy Lee]

He'd be like Barney Fox.

[Bob Kevoian]

This is all very funny.

[Chick McGee]

It hit the ground and shoot him in the ankle.

[Tom Griswold]

The gas station.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm just saying there had to be. There had to be more to it. Coming up. Chris Lee, what have you got over there?

[Christy Lee]

Coming up, we have sperm maxing in the news. We have frozen mummy guts.

[Chick McGee]

I'm sorry, what was that?

[Christy Lee]

And goth girl spit all coming your way.

[Chick McGee]

You say sperm maxing?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes, it's one of the one. Did that start maxing? Yeah, the maxing seems like within the

[Tom Griswold]

last six months or so.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm really glad it's here because when I hear someone use it, I know I don't have to talk to them because I know they are douchebagging. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

For a complete copy of the Bob

[Bob Kevoian]

and Tom show contest rules, go to

[Jim Gaffigan]

bobandtom.com

[Bob Kevoian]

or just scroll down to the bottom of the page and see contest rules.

[Jim Gaffigan]

This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios at the news desk. It's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

Hello. There's Josh Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi there.

[Chick McGee]

Hi there. There's Ace Cosby.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Abby.

[Chick McGee]

Aha. I'm chicken. Hello, Tom.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hello, Chick McGee. Coming up, a special edition of Sexy Time with Ally Breen in just a few minutes. Also, comedian Bill Langvall will be joining us a little bit later today. Certainly looking forward to that. We spoke with Jim Gaffigan earlier this morning. Great talking to Jim. If you go to his website, you can find out about all of his stops coming up, including Toledo and a bunch of spots in California and Bend, Oregon. And Jim also has that great bourbon out there. You can grab that on his website. Father Time, it's called. And the newest batch is the only one still available. The first four batches all sold out. Be a nice Father's Day gift. Christy Lee is at the Bob and Tom news desk. What else is happening over there?

[Christy Lee]

Well, some men out there apparently are worried about their fertility and are turning to so called sperm maxing amid a growing discourse on the so called manosphere about a perceived lack of male virility.

[Bob Kevoian]

See, right away. I'm with you, Josh. You hear manosphere and anything maxing, I'm out.

[Christy Lee]

Some social media users are trying to increase the quality and quantity of their sperm through a variety of techniques.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

You know, manosphere speaks to me.

[Christy Lee]

Does it? Are you in?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, it's being used to marginalize men.

[Christy Lee]

Are you in the manosphere?

[Chick McGee]

I might be.

[Christy Lee]

Okay. Some sperm maxing methods are straightforward, such as getting more sleep and eating a balanced diet. We all know how important that is. Others, like eating raw garlic and dipping one's testicles in ice water, are not backed by science.

[Bob Kevoian]

You know the guy that, the guy that posted that, you know, he was just kidding and thought, watch this.

[Christy Lee]

If you're eating raw garlic, you're not going to be having sex, so I don't know how you're going to procreate. Health experts told the Guardian that while fertility rates are declining, the concept is being used to misinform people about men's health and take advantage of people online. Who would have thought?

[Bob Kevoian]

Attention, ladies. Do not have sex with anyone who uses the word sperm maxing. We don't need these people breeding. What are the other maxing things we've had lately?

[Christy Lee]

Looks look maxing.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, that's where it started.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's the first time I heard it was looks maxing, but we had another one too. I just.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, we just had one.

[Christy Lee]

It was men related too, wasn't it?

[Chick McGee]

Like, ah, well, I never heard looks maxing.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. You may have been out when we

[Chick McGee]

talked about putting makeup on or something.

[Tom Griswold]

It's actually even kind of worse. It's like guys who would literally break their jaws so that they grow back.

[Christy Lee]

Okay, so they have a different look.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, got it.

[Christy Lee]

Maxing their look. The apparel company White Phosphor has created a new zero sugar beverage called goth girl spit. They announced the collaboration with Echelon Energy drinks on social media.

[Chick McGee]

Is that right?

[Christy Lee]

It included an image of a refrigerator full of energy drinks featuring a cartoon drawing of a salivating goth girl. The company added, quote, real goth girl spit was only used for testing purposes only.

[Tom Griswold]

Ah.

[Christy Lee]

This product does not contain actual goth girl spit. It was on sale May 28. They already sold out.

[Bob Kevoian]

This is different than the emo girl tears. Yeah, that does. That does have genuine, genuine sadness right there in the bottle. I think for an extra 50 bucks, they'll baby bird it into your mouth.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Come here, honey.

[Christy Lee]

What's the difference between an emo girl and a goth girl?

[Tom Griswold]

Goth emo is a little bit more downtrodden, whereas goth is more of a celebration of dark, dark darkness.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you.

[Chick McGee]

Things like that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

The black nails. Gothic is the heavy, heavy eye makeup. I mean, what did. What are we. The other day we had. Oh, we had foot juice. Remember that?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah. That was at a recent.

[Bob Kevoian]

It was a live event. The ladies were put. They were putting their. Their feet in buckets.

[Christy Lee]

An anime convention.

[Bob Kevoian]

People were coming up and then drinking the.

[Chick McGee]

Remember it? I can't get over it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, by the way, correction on the. The story about the cop pulling the gun on his fellow cop. Yeah, because he was microwaving fish and stinking up the. Everything about that story you read is correct. However, it was Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. It was a typo indicating an error indicating it was in Florida.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

By the way, this. This version of the story also points out that the officer who drew his gun on his fellow officer has been fired.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, that might. Yeah, that might get you fired. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

But, yeah, and I. Again, there has to be more to the story than just the smell of a fish.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

So.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. Sorry.

[Christy Lee]

Scientists have taken yeast found in the guts of a frozen mummy and used it to make sourdough bread.

[Tom Griswold]

Yikes.

[Chick McGee]

No, thank you.

[Christy Lee]

Following a recent analysis of the 15, 300 year old remains of Otezi the Iceman, researchers found evidence that both ancient and modern microbial life remain active in his well preserved body. A researcher by the name of Mohammed Sirhan said soon after discovering Oz body.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, this Guy Lee Harvey. Sirhan Sarhan.

[Christy Lee]

Mohammed Sirhan.

[Chick McGee]

His last name is Sirhan Sarhan. Well, maybe that's like.

[Tom Griswold]

It's always awkward when he's in a place with an echo.

[Chick McGee]

Maybe that's like Brown or Johnson.

[Christy Lee]

Loretta's body harbored cold adapted yeast. The team wondered if they could use it for bread. Initial efforts did not work.

[Tom Griswold]

Good way to get cursed.

[Christy Lee]

But after three months, Dr. Sirhan said, we had a very, very good sourdough.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. There's other. You can. You can make your own yeast.

[Bob Kevoian]

This guy, they spell it O, E, T, Z, I.

[Christy Lee]

Let's see.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, he was found by hikers in the Italian Alps in 1971.

[Christy Lee]

So you've probably seen a picture of him. You just don't remember it because it is a pretty famous mummified person.

[Tom Griswold]

Was it John Lone? Didn't he play Iceman?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, there's a photograph.

[Chick McGee]

That's a great movie by.

[Tom Griswold]

That is a good movie.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's the photograph of it. It looks like a shriveled up.

[Tom Griswold]

He looks like the Crypt Keeper.

[Chick McGee]

He looks like a balloon of a person that's been blown up too many times.

[Christy Lee]

I know, it looks like it's.

[Bob Kevoian]

Run it by me again. I don't quite understand.

[Chick McGee]

There's no Encino Man.

[Tom Griswold]

So there's yeast growing in the guts there.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

And so they just scraped some of those and made the. Instead of starting their own yeast, they used that.

[Christy Lee]

Would you eat that?

[Tom Griswold]

No, because again, it might taste delicious, but it could. It's cursed. You don't mess with these mummies.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, because we had the. They can make a beer also, right?

[Christy Lee]

Sure.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeast. Yes, because we had the story of the. The. What was it? The beer from the mommy parts.

[Christy Lee]

The vaginal flora of some born actress or something.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. So I don't know. Oh, here it is.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, you don't like mommy parts. That's a shame.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, I'm thinking about making bread from this guy's

[Tom Griswold]

parts and kind of gag there and.

[Bob Kevoian]

And here we go. An Internet model says she's part of a project create a beer using her vaginal yeast. The Polish brewery called the order of Yanni.

[Chick McGee]

Huh?

[Bob Kevoian]

Is using a vaginal smear to brew.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, the caps go on the top,

[Bob Kevoian]

by the way. Of course, she has an only fans account.

[Chick McGee]

So. So we can get a picture of her.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'll have to look it up.

[Chick McGee]

What's her name again? Yanni?

[Bob Kevoian]

No, her. Her name is Caitlin Siragusa. Oh, oh, like remember the great Tony. Yeah, same spelling. Caitlyn. She's out there with a beer made of her veg habs. Smear blue ribbon. You talk about bush beer.

[Chick McGee]

Pabst. Is that named after the guy who did the first one? Pabst Pap smear.

[Christy Lee]

It's.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's a good question. Did Dr. Pap invent that Smear?

[Chick McGee]

Pap smear. Maybe you were pre med, Tom?

[Bob Kevoian]

I don't know. I'm guessing.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I think I'm gonna look it up right now.

[Bob Kevoian]

But Pabst is a little bit different.

[Chick McGee]

Different, right.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, yeah, I don't know if Pat.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah. It originated in the 1920s with a Greek physician by the name of Dr. Georgios.

[Bob Kevoian]

Glad they went with just the Pat.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, me too. But he would pronounce it.

[Bob Kevoian]

No one would get one. It would be too complicated.

[Chick McGee]

Happy schmear.

[Bob Kevoian]

Thank you very much. Now, tell me what you got. Coming up. I think we're talking.

[Christy Lee]

We have Ally, I believe.

[Chick McGee]

Oh.

[Bob Kevoian]

Or new section time.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I think so.

[Chick McGee]

That sounds weird when you say it that way.

[Bob Kevoian]

Sexy time.

[Chick McGee]

No, you.

[Bob Kevoian]

You say sexy time. Valley Breen. Coming up next, special edition. Also, comedian Bill Engvall on the way.

[Chick McGee]

Man, you do that to me and ask me to a pillow fight, and I'm yours.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, boy, I can't wait. Everybody's talking about weight loss these days and those injections. I just saw one of those commercials last night. Who was it?

[Chick McGee]

Not.

[Bob Kevoian]

Not Shaq. Oh, Charles Barkley, I think it was. He stabs himself with a thing and it's. It's an injectable GLP one. Brick House Nutrition has an alternative to that. It's not a. Not a weight loss injection. It's a weight loss supplement. It's called Lean L E A N. And they've been getting some remarkable results. Lean is not designed for those that want to lose just a pound or two. Lean is designed for if you want to lose some serious weight, 10 pounds or more. The idea is that Lean has been shown to lower your blood sugar, burn fat by converting it into energy, and curb your appetite and curb your. Curb your cravings. So give it a shot. It's called Lean L E A N. And you can get started with a 20% off. A special deal thanks to the Bob and Tom Show. Free rush shipping so you can find out what's going on very quickly. Brickhouse Nutrition's lean. It's part of a healthy diet and exercise program. To get it, you go to takelean.com, enter the code Tom for the discount. That's Take Lean L E a n. Takelean.com promo code tomkelean.com Weight loss results, of course, are going to vary. These products and statements have not been evaluated by the fda. And these products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease or condition. The idea is to use this as a supplement for a diet program and a exercise program. Get the [e-mail] Coming up, sexy time with Ali Breen. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Top Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts from. For all your car care needs, get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

She's at the news desk. There's Jessica Halsman. Hello. There's Josh Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Just polished off a bowl of Carn checks. Good stuff there.

[Christy Lee]

I need them dry.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that hits the spot. Yeah. Milk. Far too much flavor. There's Ace Cosby.

[Bill Engvall]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

I'm Chief McGee. Hello, Tom.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm like a. Like a dry Corn Chex to make you want to sandpaper your tongue.

[Christy Lee]

You can't. Corn. Check.

[Chick McGee]

Raisin Bran and Honey Nut Cheerios together. You can't beat it. I don't know why more people don't make this weekend.

[Bob Kevoian]

We have to try the. The special new Dairy Queen. Apparently, it's the. You can dip it in. What was it?

[Christy Lee]

Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

[Bob Kevoian]

Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Ctc, baby.

[Bob Kevoian]

I gotta. I gotta try that now. We're trying to get hooked up. We hooked up with that. There we go. Oh, she's back in the US Of A. International traveler. Allie Breen has joined us. Allie, just. You were at the French Open yesterday.

[Ally Breen]

I was, yes. It was really fun. It was crazy weather, though. It was sunny and then we had a hailstorm right at the end of the third match.

[Bob Kevoian]

Whoa. I know. The previous week it was 95 degrees in Paris. Was it still really hot?

[Ally Breen]

No, it was like 75 or something at the hottest. And then, yeah, hailstorm. It was like intermittent rain. So they have a cover for the court, but there are a few little, like, open areas where it's raining inside on the people in the upper deck. It was crazy.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, you're back in the usa.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

And it's time for the show. Sexy time in which people are kind enough to write letters asking for us to help them with their love troubles. They can reach you at A L L I B R E E N Ally Breen. What have you got for us today?

[Ally Breen]

Dear Allie, My girlfriend went on Ozempic and she looks great. And we're having way more fun in life. We go out a lot, and she's getting attention from other men, which turns her on. But when we go home, our sex life hasn't increased at all. We have sex once a week, and I try for more, but no luck. Is this a sign she's gonna leave me?

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. We really.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's a lot going on here.

[Tom Griswold]

We really jumped to the worst possible scenario there.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, he did. Whoa.

[Bob Kevoian]

So is the implication here that. That they were having more sex prior to her using Ozempic?

[Chick McGee]

I don't think so.

[Ally Breen]

I think the same amount of sex.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I was gonna say, because I've done a deep dive on a lot of this weight loss drug stuff, and one of the side effects can be a loss of desire. Sexual desire. I mean, sexual. They don't. You don't have that. You're just not horny anymore. So I don't know what I'm trying to say here. Kind of like having a baby.

[Chick McGee]

You're like, I never want to have sex again.

[Tom Griswold]

You lose your libido.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you. That's what I'm.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wait a second. Altman just. You just had a baby a couple weeks ago, right?

[Chick McGee]

It was three months ago, but it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, it seems like. Seems like two weeks.

[Christy Lee]

You don't ever want to have sex again? I'm. I don't even know what's going on

[Chick McGee]

down there right now.

[Bob Kevoian]

Nothing's going to go in there because nothing's coming out.

[Christy Lee]

Pretty much, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

After. After what came out? I'm done, right? Is that what you're saying?

[Christy Lee]

Pretty much.

[Chick McGee]

A little scary, but no, for her,

[Christy Lee]

it just seems like she enjoys the attention from other guys.

[Chick McGee]

Couldn't you try role playing? Maybe that would. Oh, spice it up.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe.

[Ally Breen]

There we go.

[Christy Lee]

Maybe once a week's just enough for her. I mean, that's.

[Tom Griswold]

So. What. What does he do then? Just.

[Christy Lee]

He learned to live with it, or

[Chick McGee]

have we done that? One of the surveys we. The average number of times, the average couple do it in a week.

[Tom Griswold]

I think the last time we did it was five. And we all kind of went, whoa,

[Christy Lee]

that's five in a week.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. The last time we talked about it,

[Chick McGee]

I thought it was three.

[Tom Griswold]

That's where we sort of landed. Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

I think maybe he should go. You're looking great. Thanks to these OIC injections. And now it's time for the old beef injection.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe that would increase your sex life.

[Chick McGee]

And then you know what you hit her with a pillow.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now, Ally, I was making the following suggestion to Christie.

[Chick McGee]

No, it wasn't as. You were absolutely guaranteeing this, and it means sex. Go ahead.

[Bob Kevoian]

Let's just say. Let's just say Christie's husband, Andy, is brushing his teeth.

[Tom Griswold]

Teeth.

[Ally Breen]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And he finishes. It's. It's. This is in the evening, presumably right before bed. Yeah, it's right before bedtime. And he puts on the toothbrush and Christy whacks him with a pillow. This is going to lead to frolicking

[Chick McGee]

much worse than I remember.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's going to be fun. And the next thing you know, they're going to be engaged.

[Ally Breen]

No, I think he's like, why'd you do that?

[Tom Griswold]

You're exactly right.

[Chick McGee]

What the hell's wrong with you?

[Tom Griswold]

What's happening?

[Ally Breen]

Yeah, what?

[Tom Griswold]

This is sort of classic Tom behavior, where he likes something. It's very obvious when we were talking about it earlier that he loves this. Loves?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Ally Breen]

He has some image in his head

[Tom Griswold]

of what's gonna happen and therefore assumes this is just how life is.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, I mean, it's a lot better than. You put down the toothbrush and someone walks in. Did you see what just happened on the news? You're not gonna believe who.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, nobody's arguing.

[Christy Lee]

That's better than. Of course it's better than that. But all you'd have to. I mean, you don't have to hit him with a pillow.

[Chick McGee]

This gets back to my. Your memories, your experiences aren't everyone's, and you just assume they are. Everybody went to camp. Everybody had oil paintings made of themselves when they were six. Everybody.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Father.

[Chick McGee]

Also, Ally works for the Supreme Court. Everybody.

[Tom Griswold]

You've been in a pillow fight at some point in your life, Ally.

[Ally Breen]

Oh, yes, definitely.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you ever get to the point where the pillows burst open and feathers were flying everywhere?

[Bob Kevoian]

Of course. Never.

[Christy Lee]

Of course.

[Tom Griswold]

See? Did you hear Tom? Of course.

[Christy Lee]

Because it happens in the movies.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, no. Because my mom bought quality bedding.

[Tom Griswold]

He grew up in an episode of Facts of Life.

[Christy Lee]

If your mother bought Quality Betting, they

[Chick McGee]

wouldn't terribly, automatically assumes Allie did because he has this somehow this romantic version of Allie.

[Ally Breen]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

It's like, of course, Ally.

[Bob Kevoian]

Ally, if this new, whatever, French boyfriend of yours. Don't you think it'd be really hot if you were in. You're in some fancy hotel, you're in the Four Seasons with this guy in Jamaica, and all of a sudden you brush your teeth, you get whacked with a pillow.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, again, you're Phrasing it wrong. It's not. Don't you think it would be really hot? What you mean is that would be hot. If somebody did that to me, I would find that.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay, Ally, your assignment for. When are you going to see. What's this guy's name again? Frederico?

[Ally Breen]

Cyrus.

[Bob Kevoian]

Cyrus.

[Chick McGee]

Cyrus. You're dating former Secretary of State Cyrus Vance.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

And you can say Cyrus as many times. It's forever for Rico.

[Bob Kevoian]

So you whack Cyrus with a pillow.

[Ally Breen]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Let me know what happens.

[Ally Breen]

Yeah. He's gonna be so confused. He's gonna be like, are we five? What's happening? Why are you trying to start a pillow?

[Bob Kevoian]

And then you say, no, you are a seven, monsieur.

[Chick McGee]

So you like the French accent too?

[Bob Kevoian]

I thought he was French. No, Switzerland's French. Same thing. They just surrender her quicker.

[Chick McGee]

You know what? Right when you write your rights.

[Bob Kevoian]

Let's get to our next letter. This one didn't work.

[Tom Griswold]

This one.

[Chick McGee]

This letter's broken.

[Bob Kevoian]

We can't help you, lady.

[Tom Griswold]

Lady. It was a man. All right.

[Chick McGee]

Lady. We can't help you, lady.

[Christy Lee]

Poor Ally youy don't listen to anything anybody does anymore.

[Chick McGee]

You just don't listen.

[Tom Griswold]

He's made it very clear he's not interested in any of us anymore.

[Bob Kevoian]

Funny person.

[Chick McGee]

No, it's him. And the. And the sun goes around him.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm going to be getting letters from guys that have gotten these pillow fights. They're going to thank me.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank me.

[Ally Breen]

Yeah. Tom thinks he's starting a trend. It's going to be a new romantic thing that's happening.

[Bob Kevoian]

It'll be. It'll be called pillow fight maxing. We were talking about this maxing stuff. The latest one, by the way, Ali, is. What is it? Sperm maxing. We had fiber maxing, looks maxing, protein maxing and ball maxing. This is the new phrase in the Internet.

[Ally Breen]

Wow. Wait, what's sperm maxing? There's trying to just increase your voice.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes, because us. What is it? Sperm.

[Christy Lee]

Male gorillas.

[Bob Kevoian]

Sperm counts are way down internationally for some reason, but.

[Ally Breen]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Guys are being told to dip their sacks in ice water by morons on the Internet. I'm sorry. Okay, well, let's forward. What have we got? Ally?

[Ally Breen]

Dear Ally, I met a guy on Hinge and we got really serious after two months. Occasionally I can't get a hold of him from like 4pm on and he'll just say he took a nap or went to bed early with the ringer off. But it worries me a little bit. We're deaf. He's Definitely protective of his phone when we're together. And I've never been able to glance and see who he's texting or what's going on. And it's always face down on a table or couch when I'm with him. How big of a red flag is this big?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

He's home with his family after 4pm, right?

[Ally Breen]

Yeah. I mean, like wife and kids.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. If they got serious after two months, I call that love bombing quickly. And yeah, if he's hiding things, that. That's crazy.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, we don't know that he's actually hiding anything. That's just.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, but if you're not available after 4 o', clock, surely you could reach him at 5.

[Tom Griswold]

You would think he would go. You would think he would say, like, hey, I'll talk to you tomorrow. I'm gonna go to bed early. He'd be proactive.

[Bob Kevoian]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

I sleep 16 hours a day, but

[Tom Griswold]

I'm a phone down guy. And no matter where I'm at.

[Ally Breen]

Oh, interesting.

[Tom Griswold]

Because I don't. I got so used to putting it face down so that if it goes off while I'm here at work, it doesn't distract me. And also, if I'm at dinner with people, I always just keep my phone down.

[Bob Kevoian]

You're supposed to want to be able to protect the glass.

[Tom Griswold]

And I also. That's also.

[Bob Kevoian]

You're supposed to put it down to protect the glass.

[Tom Griswold]

That was also a fear of mine was that. That I was protecting him or I felt like I was protecting it more by keeping it down.

[Chick McGee]

So.

[Tom Griswold]

But that's something. But that's something I explain when I am with people.

[Christy Lee]

You're not hiding.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no.

[Bob Kevoian]

We seem to get a lot of letters with the same theme, which is, yeah, I want to get a hold of his phone and look at this phone and blah, blah, blah.

[Tom Griswold]

Anyone I'm in a relationship with. I always say, anytime you want to look at my phone, just ask me and I will hand it to you.

[Chick McGee]

You.

[Tom Griswold]

Because I don't care.

[Bob Kevoian]

You make suggestions. How so once they get on your phone, if you want to see some really hot pictures.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. Go to my. Go to the folder marked playtime.

[Ally Breen]

Josh, has any girl ever taken you up on that? Has any girl ever been like, show me your phone?

[Tom Griswold]

They haven't. No.

[Chick McGee]

Go to the folder marked Pillow fight Hot.

[Bob Kevoian]

Let's get to our next letter. We're speaking with comedian Ally Breen, and I'll spell it for you because you want to reach her, of course. A L L I B R E E N. Allie is a New York City based international comedian and she is the host of Sexy Time. What else have you got, Allie?

[Ally Breen]

Dear Allie, I'm a stepmom to two high schoolers and their mom has full custody. We have them on the weekends and the kids swear openly, wear tiny crop tops and short, short skirts. I'm pretty sure the oldest is drinking. I want to reprimand them, but my husband said it'll just start a war. What would you guys do here?

[Chick McGee]

They're not your kids, right?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Don't mess with it.

[Christy Lee]

This is a tough one.

[Tom Griswold]

You.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, I think all these. Right. Hey, look.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I know, but at least talk to him and have him try to get something done.

[Ally Breen]

I mean, maybe lean in, be like, I'm not your mom. Go get tattoos. Let's push this further.

[Christy Lee]

Right?

[Chick McGee]

Let's put you on the pill. Let's go.

[Bob Kevoian]

Go get down.

[Christy Lee]

Let's show mommy and let's all get matching tattoos. Yeah, that be good.

[Bob Kevoian]

We can't fix this one.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, that's a tough. That's a.

[Bob Kevoian]

Let's move on.

[Ally Breen]

This one's okay. Broad question. Dear Ally, Does a woman want a man with a great body and small penis or an average body or bad body and large penis?

[Tom Griswold]

This is a great question. What do you think, Ally? What's your preference?

[Ally Breen]

I think everything has to be like proportionate. I think I like a pretty good body. It doesn't have to be great. And also pretty good penis. It doesn't have to be huge.

[Chick McGee]

Pretty good penis.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, but let's go ahead and just stick with this strict scenario. There are two men in front of you and you have to choose one. One what you consider to be a terrible body but a great looking wiener, or the other, great body but a small, almost useless.

[Christy Lee]

Is it that small that it's useless?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I, you know. Okay, so which. What are you going for?

[Ally Breen]

That's really hard, actually. I mean,

[Chick McGee]

it's not really. Never really.

[Tom Griswold]

I should say useless. You can have. Yeah, you'll be able to have sex with either, but.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Ally Breen]

I need it to be really hard, so I don't know how to.

[Bob Kevoian]

Does the personality come in at all?

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's just not in this case.

[Ally Breen]

Just if it's your significant other. I'd maybe say not great body, good penis, really big is the problem because I don't care about really big.

[Christy Lee]

Not really big either.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that can be a negative, can't it?

[Christy Lee]

Yes, it can.

[Tom Griswold]

I've had many complaints.

[Chick McGee]

Explains a lot. I don't Think it matters how big

[Bob Kevoian]

it is if they don't know how

[Christy Lee]

to use it either? You know what I mean? Like, cool.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, we're getting too many factors involved here. Like.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, right. So it's just these parameters that the. The letter writer has laid out.

[Bob Kevoian]

And wasn't the assumption back in the day that it was vulgar being large and all the Greek statues were small?

[Tom Griswold]

Because it's considered gauche, which is hilarious. Look at that. Look at that guy's huge rod.

[Bob Kevoian]

Look at that. Adonis, like, slave with the huge rod. You don't like him, do you, sweetie? That's vulgar.

[Tom Griswold]

And after Labor Day.

[Chick McGee]

Hello. Hello.

[Bob Kevoian]

We have time for one more letter. Ally, what have you got?

[Ally Breen]

Dear Allie, I caught my husband sending flirty texts with a co worker. He says it's his work wife and it's kind of a joke and nothing's ever gone past the text. If I told him, that's still cheating and still a violation. Oh, my cats are at my camera and still a violation. I said that he has to stop, and he said, they're just friends and I'm overreacting. What should I do?

[Tom Griswold]

Ah, man, he. If you. If you really want him to stop and you told him that he should, he should stop.

[Bob Kevoian]

What is the nature of the texts?

[Christy Lee]

Are they flirty?

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay, then that's a problem.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's not cheating, though. He's just flirting.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, cool. That. You know, I mean, but that is

[Ally Breen]

the precursor, kind of.

[Tom Griswold]

Sure, I get that.

[Bob Kevoian]

And if it's done in a way that it could be perceived as being.

[Tom Griswold]

But one of the problems, a joke is potentially that you went to him and said you are cheating. And he. That's where he said, I'm over. You're overreacting. I agree with him. But he needs to stop if you're not cool with it or he needs to tell you that he stopped. Yeah, let's.

[Ally Breen]

Let's be honest.

[Chick McGee]

That's right. You know, don't ever shortchange an argument when you just lie.

[Tom Griswold]

Exactly. Yeah, that's real easy. Okay, honey, I. I won't do that anymore.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, sir.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now, Allie. Allie's holding her big black pussycat. Ally, are you working in the city this weekend?

[Ally Breen]

Yes, I will be at the Comic Strip tonight, and I'm going to be at Sheba's speakeasy this weekend.

[Bob Kevoian]

Then are you going to be in the United States of America for any length of time or are you going back to Switzerland?

[Ally Breen]

Yes, I'll be in the USA until the end of the month. I don't think I'm going back.

[Tom Griswold]

You should hear the conversation around here, Elliot. They're more concerned about where you are than they are their own children.

[Christy Lee]

Tom, he lives in London and I

[Chick McGee]

just want to say that, that Christy is really happy for you with you trying you traveling around the globe at a moment's notice. She's very happy

[Bob Kevoian]

during. I did a little research during this, during our interview with you, and apparently and the Swiss consider a pillow to the back of the head one of the most erotic.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, is that right?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes, I think.

[Christy Lee]

No, they just.

[Chick McGee]

Once again, the Internet can verify any harebrained scheme. You want to come up, I want

[Bob Kevoian]

you to wrap Federico in the back of the head with this. Yes. Does he smoke Galois? What are those things?

[Ally Breen]

Reaction?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Bob Kevoian]

Does he smoke American cigarettes?

[Chick McGee]

He smokes Players.

[Ally Breen]

No, he, like everyone else, evades vapes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, he vapes. Yeah. Well, get ready to read an iron lung.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, geez.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay, Ally, we'll see you.

[Ally Breen]

Bye.

[Tom Griswold]

Guys, I think she's gonna stop calling.

[Chick McGee]

I can't call today. My husband's on the lung today. Can't be left alone.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, we rented. He only has it from 10 to 2.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Bob Kevoian]

We gotta wheel it.

[Chick McGee]

We're on a long sharing.

[Bob Kevoian]

Gotta wheel it next door right now. I want to ask you a question. Do you have a substantial amount of credit card debt you'd like to get rid of?

[Chick McGee]

Why would I answer any question from you?

[Bob Kevoian]

You raise a good point. If you want to get rid of that credit card debt, one of the things you might do if you own your house, it's probably worth a lot more than it was just a few years ago. You can actually get some of that cash out of that house without selling it. If you refinance it, you can take advantage of the massive rise in the value of homes in America. A 10 year old house is probably worth about double what you paid for it if you. If you bought it 10 years ago. If you bought a house five years ago, they say between 30, 40, 50% more values. This is where American Financing comes in. What the folks at American Financing do is they set up a refi that'll lower your mortgage, depending on your situation. And you can also take some cash out and use it for whatever you want to use it for. So there's no upfront fees. I should point that out. No pressure, but in about 10 minutes they can let you know if this might work for you. They've got a program going on right now that can actually delay two mortgage payments. So you can get your head above water. Perhaps their average client right now is saving about 800 bucks a month on their mortgage. Obviously, all this depends on the numbers you're dealing with with your own situation. But just take a few minutes, no pressure, and see if this might fit your situation. American Financing.net is the place you can call them. If you can remember the number, 866-889-2611. I would just urge you to go to the website and then you can get them all dialed up that way. AmericanFinancing.net NMLS 182334 NMLSConsumerAccess.org APR for rates in the five started 6.327%. For well, qualified borrowers, call 866-889-2611. For and terms, visit American financing.net Bob and Tom, average savings based on borrowers who save over $200.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Hey, thanks for listening this morning.

[Bob Kevoian]

Got something to say? Send us an email.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Bob and Tom, Bob and Tom dot com.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. Chrissy Lee at the news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jessica Alsman. Hi.

[Ally Breen]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi, Trickster.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, man. There's Ace Cosby.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey.

[Chick McGee]

Hello. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hello, Chick. I'm just doing some homework over.

[Christy Lee]

Doing your history.

[Bill Engvall]

Well, I don't understand.

[Christy Lee]

It's June 4th.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, we have to do that. I was just trying to read about this, this mummy that they made. The, they made the sourdough bread from the. I, I don't understand how that, I don't understand how that works. And then there's this thing that they made this, this, this beer out of the lady's vaginal swab.

[Christy Lee]

That's.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yikes. Okay, I'm sorry. It is, it is time for today in history. Is that correct? Yeah, I'm looking it up.

[Chick McGee]

I got. You're looking it up right now?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, here it is.

[Chick McGee]

What would you tell me? My God, man.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, Christy. Yeah, we can do this in a few minutes. I just noticed this June 5th is national old Maids Day.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I have that story coming up.

[Tom Griswold]

Old Maids Day.

[Christy Lee]

Old Maids Day, the game. No, actual Old Maids for women who never married.

[Chick McGee]

What is, what is there an age limit for old. What would that be, Krista, what do you think?

[Christy Lee]

Well, according to an article from June 4, 1982, this gathering of Old Maids Day, which started in 1948, they ranged from 75 years old down to an age where hope still flickered is how they.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, so like, 75 all the way down to 29, maybe.

[Christy Lee]

If you're still thinking that it might happen.

[Tom Griswold]

Does a maiden become a maid? Is it like. Is it like.

[Christy Lee]

So if you've never.

[Tom Griswold]

I know this isn't the case, but if it's like, you're a maiden until you're 35 and then you're a maid, I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

You start perimenopause and it's over.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Bob Kevoian]

I think it's become. I think you become an old maid when your last cat died. Guys.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that would be an old man.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, you just keep them reproducing.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you would think. Because they are cat factories.

[Christy Lee]

Mary and Richard, we might as well do this now. Marion Richards, who held the first Old maids Day in 1948, reportedly created it in honor of old maids and their community. They off what they can. They contribute to their communities and to

[Chick McGee]

their families and how rotten and awful men are.

[Christy Lee]

And they had hoped. She had hoped that it would be as popular as Mother's Day. So we'd have Mother's Day. Old Maids.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I see.

[Bob Kevoian]

Isn't that. That really isn't a compliment.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I was gonna say, was it sort of an attempt to make it more.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Make it less of a stigma?

[Christy Lee]

Yes. You had an old maid in your life, didn't you?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, my aunt. Yes, my. My aunt.

[Tom Griswold]

Would she refer to herself as an old maid?

[Bob Kevoian]

No, but I think it would be insulting of. Hey, it's Old maid's day.

[Chick McGee]

Or would she refer to herself as a lesbian?

[Bob Kevoian]

Man, I don't think she.

[Tom Griswold]

They were trying to own it.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

They were trying to take the power back.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, but think about it. Hey, I hear you're a mother. Hey, I hear you're an old maid.

[Tom Griswold]

I know it, dude.

[Chick McGee]

Right?

[Christy Lee]

Is that the same as spinster? Yeah, Old Maid, which I know where spinster comes from.

[Bob Kevoian]

Spinster is a classier way to do it. And there's no good card game,

[Bill Engvall]

old

[Bob Kevoian]

mate or go fish.

[Chick McGee]

Aren't there, like, crazy wonderful characters in Old Maid, Like Billy Goat or something?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, really?

[Bob Kevoian]

I think so. God, I haven't played that in age. Okay, it's time for today in history. Sorry. Oh, this is a good one. It just shows how important a good name is. In 1896, Henry Ford drove his first automobile. It wasn't called a car. It wasn't called an automobile. Anybody remember what it was called?

[Chick McGee]

A horseless carriage.

[Bob Kevoian]

Nope.

[Tom Griswold]

That would have been my guess.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, me too.

[Bob Kevoian]

It was called a quadricycle.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I love it. Love it.

[Bob Kevoian]

A quadricycle. That didn't stick, fortunately. And this is. It's a famous episode because four young punks stole his hubcaps. That very first. That very first ride. 1974. Chick McGee, you'll remember this 10 cent beer night at a Cleveland Indians game.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Good old Cleveland. They never disappointed. Right.

[Bob Kevoian]

They had to forfeit the game.

[Chick McGee]

And was that the same night they had mini bat night?

[Bob Kevoian]

No, but that would have been real bad.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. I mean, it was awful to start with, but there were 10 cent beer night and there were people who shouldn't have been drinking beer.

[Bob Kevoian]

Drinking beer.

[Tom Griswold]

Document. We need an ESPN.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, 30 for 30.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

They.

[Bob Kevoian]

It says here umpire Nestor Shylock.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Yep.

[Bob Kevoian]

Was struck in the head by a seat that someone threw.

[Chick McGee]

I plainly remember him calling games.

[Bob Kevoian]

They stopped the game in the ninth inning and ruled it a forfeit. Yep. The guy's name was Nestor Shylock.

[Chick McGee]

Absolutely.

[Christy Lee]

What a name.

[Bob Kevoian]

Probably didn't demand a pound of flesh.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Bob Kevoian]

From one of the. This is a famous. Anybody remember this? 1976. It's been called, quote, the Gig that changed the world. 40 people were in the audience to watch the newly formed band, the Sex Pistols play at the Lesser Free Trade hall in Manchester, England.

[Tom Griswold]

I think wasn't it a case of the right people with enough influence were there watching that?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Among them, Morrissey. Oh, well, two guys from the Buzzcocks. Peter Hook from Joy Division.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Like it started a whole thing. I guess they didn't have influence. Influence at the time, but they were inspired.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

How were the Buzzcocks not more popular?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know enough about them either. If I've heard a song, I may not even know it. I should check them out.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, I mean, if. If you've heard. What was it? God Save the Queen. I think instead of. It shouldn't be called. It should be called the Night They Decided Being Able to Play the Instruments Wasn't Important.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, there's a certain. Yeah. Talking to you about punk is.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. We don't need it, you know.

[Bob Kevoian]

Born in the USA released by Bruce Springsteen on this date in 1984.

[Chick McGee]

That's the same mouth who thinks Zap is a genius.

[Bob Kevoian]

Much more popular than Bryan Adams Born in Canada album.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That didn't fly. I mean, even in Canada, they weren't all that interested.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Let's do some birthdays here. I love this guy. Bruce Dern.

[Tom Griswold]

He's fantastic. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

He's the father of Laura.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Bruce is a great actor. He's Been in all kinds.

[Chick McGee]

And also the father of Trevor Lawrence, the quarterback for the Jacksonville Jaguars.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, I could see that.

[Tom Griswold]

Look it up.

[Bob Kevoian]

Let's see. Oh, this guy's Great. Born in 1956. Keith David.

[Tom Griswold]

He is great.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I just watched that. He was an officer and a gentleman, right?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Good actor.

[Chick McGee]

He does voice.

[Tom Griswold]

No, that's David Keith.

[Christy Lee]

I'm confused. Yeah, sorry.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. David Keith is the white guy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And Officer David's the black dude.

[Tom Griswold]

Something about Mary. He's Marky Post. He's the dad.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

He's voiceover king.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. He. Something with Emilio and Charlie Sheen.

[Tom Griswold]

Men at Work.

[Chick McGee]

Men at Work.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

The president. Rick and Morty. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And he's. They live From S. From SNL.

[Bob Kevoian]

Happy Birthday. 1969. Horatio Sands. This is true, by the way. It's not here, but I've read somewhere that after he got SNL he was in an improv group and after he left, they called it Sans Horatio.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't that something?

[Bob Kevoian]

No, really, that's not a joke.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

It would have gotten an appropriate laugh had it been one. We'll skip this guy. He's in trouble.

[Chick McGee]

Which guy's that? I want to know. Come on, we're adults.

[Bob Kevoian]

Russell Brand.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, what'd he do?

[Chick McGee]

Well, we all know he's recently.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, he's.

[Chick McGee]

He took a few liberties. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Evidently, Angelina Jolie was born in this date in 1975.

[Chick McGee]

There's a weirdo. You see her kisses her brother.

[Bob Kevoian]

Gee, many Christmas and then never forget that 1981. Happy birthday, friend of the show, T.J. miller.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, he was here recently and

[Bob Kevoian]

then I don't know this guy. 1990. Evan. Oh, I see. Evan Spiegel. The. Not the catalog, but the co founder of Snapchat.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, he's doing all right.

[Chick McGee]

They're Spiegel.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. For those that think Facebook requires too many words. If you want to just be quick.

[Tom Griswold]

Do people like Snapchat still? I.

[Christy Lee]

My kids still use it occasionally.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I think they have like their own group, like a small group of friends that they snap with.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now. What do you got? Coming up, Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Coming up, we have Bazooka and Lee Leaf. Do you think it's a bazooka or a leaf blower? We'll find out. Oh, and I have a story that is going to infuriate you.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

About the art world.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I love this. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah. This thing is still out there.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. And Josh hates it. Also, we were going to talk about something we never got to last week. The fully electric Ferrari and the pet translator.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's super cool. Yeah, I don't believe it for a second.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, it'd be great.

[Chick McGee]

Well, they can really translate cats, though. They hate you.

[Tom Griswold]

They really hate you.

[Chick McGee]

That cat hates you.

[Bob Kevoian]

We're coming right Back to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning.

[Bob Kevoian]

Get a look at today's show on our YouTube channel. Pass. Thank you.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. At the news desk, it's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, there's Josh Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Having fun?

[Chick McGee]

You really are.

[Christy Lee]

I could spoil that.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, Josh, I love you.

[Tom Griswold]

I love you, too.

[Chick McGee]

All right, back. Yeah, there's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hello, Chick McGee.

[Tom Griswold]

I love. I love Tom.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, that's very nice.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I love Tom.

[Bob Kevoian]

Coming up, we're gonna talk, and I

[Chick McGee]

think we all love Christie.

[Tom Griswold]

Absolutely.

[Chick McGee]

Christy.

[Tom Griswold]

I. I love you.

[Bob Kevoian]

We are all getting excited to speak with a comedian, Bill Engvall.

[Tom Griswold]

I love Bill Engvall.

[Bob Kevoian]

In a few minutes, we'll have to

[Chick McGee]

ask Bill if he's into pillow fighting.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, now, we were lucky enough to speak with Jim Gaffigan earlier this morning. He's got a bunch of shows coming up, and you can visit his website. Found out about his bourbon that is dedicated to his grandfather. And you could make a nice Father's Day gift out of that. But Bill Engvall coming up. But right now, we are watching Christy Lee. She's sitting over there at the news desk. What's going on?

[Christy Lee]

A French museum says someone has stolen the famous Tongue Banana artwork. Oh, the comedian taped to one of its walls. Exactly.

[Chick McGee]

Wonderful.

[Christy Lee]

The banana was reported missing by a security guard over the weekend. Makes up part of Italian artists Maurizio Catalan's controversial artwork known as Josh Said Comedian. The museum said it has since filed a complaint with the relevant authorities against persons unknown. It added, quote, that the perishable component of the work has been replaced and the work has been restored to its original presentation as quickly as possible.

[Bob Kevoian]

Isn't this.

[Christy Lee]

It's taped to the wall, right?

[Bob Kevoian]

It's a piece of duct tape taping a banana to the wall.

[Tom Griswold]

Brilliant.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Just a work of genius.

[Chick McGee]

Do you remember the Bic banana was the yellow pen, and Mel Brooks did the voiceover for it. The big banana.

[Tom Griswold]

Did it have a curve to it?

[Chick McGee]

No, yellow.

[Bob Kevoian]

But somebody bought this famous banana tape to the wall. Wasn't it in Miami?

[Christy Lee]

It was in Miami. At the Art Basel Miami Art Fair.

[Chick McGee]

And it was a crazy price, wasn't it?

[Christy Lee]

Mm, yeah, it was $6.24 million.

[Tom Griswold]

That's hilarious. I mean it's just wonderful.

[Bob Kevoian]

So does.

[Christy Lee]

It was Justin Sun, a Chinese collector and founder of a cryptocurrency platform, acquired comedian. Like I said, 6.24 million at auction. And then ate the banana. Do you remember that?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't. Yeah, but you know, wow, man.

[Bob Kevoian]

When atom bomb hits that gallery when there are people there, no loss.

[Tom Griswold]

Ever been to us? Have you ever heard. Yeah, yeah. Like there are starving artists out there and you sometimes you look at the, you know, the so called starving artists and you look at their work and you go, that's pretty damn good. How do they feel about the guy who duct tape a banana? Are they able to defend that?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know how. I'm not. I mean, I like to. I know people in the art world.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Christy Lee]

And I wish that I understood it better.

[Tom Griswold]

You've got to invite me to one of those galas. I mean, I will just take.

[Bob Kevoian]

I understand that. The. When someone steals a. The banana art thing. The, the. The police code is 4011. That's a. That's a joke for anybody that ever shops for bananas.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, is that the code?

[Bob Kevoian]

You didn't know the code for bananas? No, Tom, that's universal across the United States.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Christy Lee]

I just looked.

[Chick McGee]

You don't know that it's not top of mind. No, I'm sure it is the same code.

[Bob Kevoian]

Ace. You knew that.

[Tom Griswold]

Certainly not when you said that a few months ago. I like. I gotta double check that.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, 4001 1.

[Christy Lee]

Okay. At all grocery stores.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

All right.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's the sticker.

[Christy Lee]

I always just look up the little pictures. It says banana.

[Chick McGee]

That makes sense.

[Bob Kevoian]

I don't look up the pictures because I can read.

[Tom Griswold]

I am not memorizing any produce codes ever.

[Chick McGee]

I mean, let alone let it be the backbone for a stand up set. Well, I'm gonna hit him with the banana Hunk, Massachusetts.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now my question is, is. So this guy supposedly owns this. So does it tour around? And then does the curator of the museum just every day go out and put a new banana there and tape it up there?

[Christy Lee]

I would assume it sounds like when

[Tom Griswold]

maybe it's so rotten it's not gonna stay up with the tape anymore.

[Chick McGee]

They change it out unless the exhibit moves to Denmark and then they expect that sort of thing.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, is stealing this even a crime?

[Chick McGee]

A 6.24 million dollar crime.

[Tom Griswold]

He just owns the concept.

[Christy Lee]

That's it.

[Tom Griswold]

Right?

[Bob Kevoian]

It's A banana tape.

[Tom Griswold]

The man himself ate it.

[Christy Lee]

I'll tape a banana to your wall for a million. I don't need 6.24 million.

[Chick McGee]

I'll do it for 500,000 and you'll never hear from me again. All right. Maybe I didn't mean that. Hang on a second.

[Tom Griswold]

This is where. Man. One of the biggest arguments I ever had in my life was it was me versus an art professor about this kind of thing. So I'd like to say I won, but I flunked.

[Chick McGee]

I have. I've always wondered. I. I think. I kind of think I know what good music is. I think I know what movie good movies are. But I cannot appreciate fine art. I just can't.

[Tom Griswold]

And I've taken classes.

[Chick McGee]

And I have tried. I tried.

[Tom Griswold]

Yep.

[Bob Kevoian]

This wouldn't exist without the. The criticism. This only exists because people write about it and talk about it.

[Christy Lee]

Apparently this Catalan guy successfully defended a lawsuit from another fruit taping artist.

[Tom Griswold]

Fruit taping artist.

[Christy Lee]

Accusing him of copyright infringement. Yes.

[Chick McGee]

He's a thief. He's a thief is what he is.

[Bob Kevoian]

What if he stapled it instead of taped it?

[Tom Griswold]

Brilliant.

[Bob Kevoian]

Brilliant is a genius.

[Tom Griswold]

A whole new technique.

[Christy Lee]

The gallery owner who exhibited the original at.

[Bill Engvall]

At.

[Christy Lee]

At the basel called it a symbol of global trade. So.

[Tom Griswold]

How about that?

[Bob Kevoian]

I hope it only. It only exists because the criticism exists. What else is going on over there?

[Christy Lee]

Massachusetts police were called to investigate a report of a man wielding a bazooka.

[Bob Kevoian]

Whoa.

[Christy Lee]

The Bridgewater police department said officers responded to the call following a brief conversation with a landscaper at the scene concluded the caller had mistaken the guy's leaf blower for a bazooka.

[Tom Griswold]

All right. That guy. The caller. The complainer needs to be put in jail for a week.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know if they've ever seen a handheld rocket launcher, but it doesn't look anything like a leaf blower.

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Bob Kevoian]

Or sound like one.

[Chick McGee]

And I think they do that on purpose. Probably to make it very different from a rocket launcher.

[Christy Lee]

Lt. Scott Hiles that police are trained to treat suspicious sightings even the more dubious ones.

[Chick McGee]

Wait a minute. What's his last name?

[Christy Lee]

Hile. H I L E. As a. If they could be legitimate. Because, quote, you never know.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, if you see something, say something. I guess Better.

[Chick McGee]

I'm just gonna say that you see

[Bob Kevoian]

a guy with a leaf blower. I know what his name was. Bazooka. Bazooka Jose.

[Ally Breen]

Oh.

[Chick McGee]

It wasn't Bazooka Joe.

[Tom Griswold]

Couldn't possibly.

[Chick McGee]

Bazooka Jose. Because they were working on the lawn Tom Just gave me the tell me I'm wrong motion.

[Tom Griswold]

They said they had a brief conversation because it doesn't take too long to say no. Comprende?

[Chick McGee]

Exactly.

[Bob Kevoian]

So the guy that made the phone call, obviously stoned or old.

[Chick McGee]

Or just old.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, come on.

[Chick McGee]

A leaf blower?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you know, a concerned senior citizen thinks they.

[Chick McGee]

Absolutely.

[Bob Kevoian]

So maybe it was one of those backpack leaf blowers. So it looks kind of like the things that the guys carry around in Ghostbusters.

[Chick McGee]

I stopped that Esteban right in his track.

[Bob Kevoian]

Please tell you Bazooka Jose.

[Chick McGee]

Bazooka Jose. I got him. I stopped that damn rocket.

[Bob Kevoian]

Was it Bazooka Gum that had the. Did they have the guy that had the scarf pulled over his face?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that was. Was p. Oh, we always get.

[Tom Griswold]

We learned that that guy's name wasn't.

[Bob Kevoian]

Pud is the other guy.

[Chick McGee]

Pud is. Well, who's Bazooka Joe then?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, he was the guy with the striped shirt.

[Chick McGee]

Are you sure?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You want to bet your life on it?

[Tom Griswold]

My life.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wasn't that Wal. Wasn't that Waldo?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

What about Waldo?

[Christy Lee]

Where is Waldo?

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, right now, Christy, tell me about you got some new information about those beautiful cars you drive?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I love my Hyundai. And you know, as the world turns their eyes on the stars of the FIFA World cup, please tell me when

[Chick McGee]

you get into your Hyundai and start it, you go, Hyundai, Hyundai, Hyundai.

[Tom Griswold]

What do you. Go ahead, Christy.

[Christy Lee]

Hyundai will be looking at the next generation of talent because the future stars are already turning heads at the age of 14. Because next doesn't wait for an invitation. And neither does Hyundai. Hyundai has always moved the future within reach. They did it when they made advanced safety standard on every vehicle and engineered their EVs with ultra fast charging capability. And they're still doing it every day. Because the future isn't some far off concept. It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA.

[Bob Kevoian]

Thank you. Ah, FIFA. Thank you very much, Christy Lee. Coming up, we're gonna try to get hooked up up with comedian Bill Engvall,

[Chick McGee]

and we're going to tell you how much we love World cup soccer.

[Tom Griswold]

Right, Tom?

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, I'm glad you're enjoying it. I.

[Christy Lee]

Plenty of other things hasn't started yet.

[Chick McGee]

No, we're enjoying the.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, I don't care about.

[Tom Griswold]

I go home and go right to sleep just so I can wake up and it'll be day closer to the World Cup.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, Nine more sleeps.

[Bob Kevoian]

Am I the only one that admits I don't care? I think I am.

[Tom Griswold]

Admits Again with that.

[Bob Kevoian]

These are the AELI Auto Part studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee at the news desk. Hello, Josh. Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Whatever he does, I. I appreciate and respect your plight.

[Chick McGee]

There's a Ace cosby on Chick McGee. Yes. I was telling everybody about the tininess of my ear canals. I have to use the smallest bud in the earbud.

[Christy Lee]

Choice received. No sympathy.

[Chick McGee]

No sympathy.

[Tom Griswold]

All.

[Chick McGee]

As a matter of fact, he almost.

[Tom Griswold]

Your ear canals are so thin, you have to use lowercase Q tips.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, very nice.

[Chick McGee]

He made fun of me to my face about it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now, is this. Are we our hookup? Hookup. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, there we go.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, we've been getting the electronics sorted out here, and we finally have comedian Bill Engvall joining us. And I can see him on the big screen in our room.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi, Bill.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, Bill.

[Bob Kevoian]

We got it hooked up finally.

[Bill Engvall]

Oh, yeah, we. We finally. We bypassed. Technology is going to be the death of all of us, by the way. So just be ready.

[Bob Kevoian]

I see. Now, where are you exactly? Are you home?

[Bill Engvall]

Yes, I'm in Park City, Utah, right now. And we. We've gotten. I've become that guy. We. We split time between. When it gets too cold, we go down to Arizona. When it gets too hot, we come up to Park City.

[Bob Kevoian]

So do you ski?

[Bill Engvall]

Used to. I don't bounce anymore.

[Bob Kevoian]

So really, when you. When you fall, you just stay down.

[Bill Engvall]

I'm gonna tell you that this is a true story.

[Chick McGee]

I was.

[Bill Engvall]

My wife and I, Gail, who's been with me forever, we went skiing a couple years ago and I fell. And it wasn't even a bad fall, but the amount of time it took me just to get upright again, I just went, you know what? I'm going to the bar. And I'm never skiing again.

[Christy Lee]

Him. Fair enough.

[Chick McGee]

I'm still trying.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm still out there doing it. I was trying to remember. You grew up in Texas, right? And where. Where exactly in Texas were you?

[Bill Engvall]

Born in Galveston, but spent most of my time in the. In the Dallas Fort Worth area.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay. And I notice you've got a show coming up. It says Belton, Texas.

[Bill Engvall]

Yes, we're going to be doing Belton, Texas in. On Friday the 13th, I think.

[Bob Kevoian]

And then Saturday the 14th, Modesto, California.

[Bill Engvall]

I'm hitting all the hotspots, buddy, all of them.

[Bob Kevoian]

And then Louisville coming up on the 26th at the Louisville Palace Theater. And then Indy at the famous Murat Theater coming up on the 27th. So a little Mini tour going on. Last time we talked, I thought you said you were quitting, you were retiring. Calling it, oh, it's over. But not. No, you're out there.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bill Engvall]

Well, here's what happened. In hindsight, I probably should have just taken a break. But the. I knew when I caught myself sitting in my living room watching TV and I was watching Housewives of Salt Lake City and I knew their names, that I had to get back out on the road.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, that's a good song.

[Bill Engvall]

The. It was. I just. You know, it was funny because when we were doing the Blue Collar tour with the guys, I would say we were probably B plus, A minus listers. You know how Hollywood says A listers. B listers. Once we. When I retired, my celebrity recognition probably went to a D. Just because people forget about you. And one story I was going to tell you is that I was flying through Dallas Fort Worth Airport, and I hadn't had anything to eat all day. So I stopped at one of these little chicken shack places in the airport, and there was an older woman and a younger girl working the counter. And I walked up, and the older lady goes, oh, my God, I can't believe you're right in front of me. And I was like, hi, could I just get a chicken sandwich? She goes, I am one of your biggest fans. And she turns to the younger girl, she goes, do you know who this is? And the little girl, she goes, no. And I go, hey, it's okay. Can I just get a sandwich? And she goes, oh, I can't believe you don't know who this is. He was on the Bill Ingvald Show. He's on Tim Allen's show. He's on Foxworthy Show. She said, you know who this. She goes, I'm sorry, I don't watch much tv. Well, by this time, a line has started to form behind me, and I hear somebody in line behind me go, who is it? And the guy right behind me goes, I think it's Jeff Foxworthy,

[Bob Kevoian]

but he would just have the mustache.

[Bill Engvall]

Yeah, I can't compete with the mustache on him. He's the king of mustache. Him. Him and Sam Elliott. I don't know who would win the first place prize.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, boy, that's a tough one.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, well, I know.

[Bill Engvall]

Wouldn't that be a good mustache off. Who has the best mustache? Mustache Foxworthy or.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, that is. There's a couple. There's a couple other good ones out there. Magnum PI Tom seller.

[Bill Engvall]

Yeah. Yeah, that was a good one.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's.

[Bill Engvall]

That's you don't find too many women in that competition.

[Christy Lee]

No, not really.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no. There are a couple. You have to go to Sicily.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Or find somebody post menopausal.

[Bill Engvall]

Yeah, exactly.

[Bob Kevoian]

We're speaking with comedian Bill Langvall. He was part of the original Blue Collar Comedy Tour. We've talked to pretty much everybody. We haven't talked to Ron in a while, but we've talked to everybody else. Do you, do you are. I think he was in LA for a while. Do you talk to everybody else on a regular basis?

[Bill Engvall]

Not really. There's, you know, once in a while I'll get a text, like from Dan or. But everybody's got their lives going on now. And, you know, it's funny, I was thinking when I was calling in today, yesterday, when we had the issue that I remember being on your show decades ago, and I did the in vitro fertilization bit.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, that's famous. Butter in the corn. I remember the whole thing.

[Bill Engvall]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's, it's, we've, every once in a while we'll dig it up because you, you were doing the in vitro and

[Christy Lee]

how old's your child?

[Bill Engvall]

Could you send it to me? Because I can put it in the show again.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. How old are, how old are the kids now?

[Bill Engvall]

Wow. Let's see. My daughter's 40 and my son's 35.

[Christy Lee]

Wow.

[Bill Engvall]

So in vitro baby's 35 years old.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Bill Engvall]

Yeah. That is a wow.

[Christy Lee]

That is a wow.

[Bill Engvall]

And Gail's still with me. I can't believe after this many years, it's, we, we've, we're doing this, a retirement thing. We decided that we were both going to come up with ideas for stuff to do together, you know, because we had made it through Covid, so I didn't think it was gonna be that big a deal. So she said, well, why don't we start. We'll, we'll play golf because we both enjoy playing golf and, you know, when you both suck, golf's fun. But when one of you starts getting much better, it's not so much fun anymore. And in the short time I was retired, I watched my wife get three hole in ones on the same hole.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Bill Engvall]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bill Engvall]

So we're split up now.

[Bob Kevoian]

Bill Engvall is our guest, doing a tour, stopping in Belton, Texas, Modesto, California, Louisville and Indianapolis. And then. Are you going to keep going for the rest of the summer? You're taking the rest of the summer off?

[Bill Engvall]

No, I'm, you know what? I, I, I, I gotta be honest with you. I Missed. I missed stand up for the time I was retired. I really found myself missing it and is. I'm just gonna keep working. As long as people keep showing up, I'll be there. You know, it's, it's. And by the way, a huge thank you to you guys. I was telling somebody the other day about the Bob and Tom show, and I said if it wasn't for them, I don't know I would be where I'm at today. You guys, you guys were so supportive of me. And I remember freezing to death walking to that little tiny studio radio station some mornings, and you guys were always there for me, and I just wanted you to know I appreciate it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, you're very welcome. The little tiny studio is still in the same building. The building's about 10 times bigger, our studio.

[Bill Engvall]

Oh, really?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, it's still here. The first time you came here, I think that little studio was so small, if I'm not mistaken, you had to stand up. We didn't have enough chairs. The comedian would stand there.

[Chick McGee]

Well.

[Bill Engvall]

And from the outside, it looked like a World War II armory bait bunker.

[Chick McGee]

You know, it was just.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, yeah, it was a classy joint.

[Bill Engvall]

I'm looking forward to coming back to India. I always had such great times in Indy. And it's. It's going to be a lot of fun to come, bring back some new material. You're gonna do some stuff, some classics.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do you remember when you were first starting out, was there a piece that you did that, that used. Remember that was the first one. You went, oh, wait a minute, this is gonna work. I might be able to keep doing this.

[Bill Engvall]

You know, probably the very first bit I ever did. I didn't even have any material. I was. I was working as a DJ in a nightclub. And let's just say that I played a lot of AC DC and Van Halen. It was, you know, and you. You would hear, you know, good. Gentlemen, get out your wallets. Here come Cheyenne, you know, So I remember though, we. When they opened up this comedy club just down the road, my friend who was the bouncer at the disco I was working at said, let's go down to amateur night and watch. I said, all right, whatever. And I had a. I didn't have. They. After a few rounds of liquid encouragement went through us, they talked me into going on stage and I just did. I literally improv a bit about a girl in a disco on Quaaludes, and. And people were laughing and I remember thinking, wow, this is kind of cool. And then, you know, But I had the best deal. I was. I was the house MC at this club. And I learned from the greats like Seinfeld and Shanling and Kirkenbauer and Rich Scheidener and all these guys, and they taught me how to put together an act. And it was off to the races. And ever since then, I've. That's been. My only mistress is stand up.

[Bob Kevoian]

You missed Cheyenne, though, huh? You know what?

[Bill Engvall]

She was a gamer. I gotta give her that

[Christy Lee]

moves for Dancing with the Stars. That's what I always wanted to know. You were great.

[Bill Engvall]

You know what's funny, Chris? I would. When they. When they called, when Dancing with the Stars called me, they said, we want you to be on the show. I literally said, well, yeah, I could judge that. There was no reason to think they wanted me on the show. And I remember thinking, oh, my God, is this where my career's gone? And then Miguel, who's always looking out for me, says, you know, I think you ought to do it. And so I did and got to the finals. Was on 13 weeks in front of 13 million people a week. And I, you know, I don't think people realize how brutal that show is. You know, I think in the short term, the 13 weeks I was on there, I tore my groin, pulled my hamstring and had to have my knee drained twice.

[Christy Lee]

H. So you're not still dancing?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

You engaged somebody.

[Jim Gaffigan]

That was.

[Bill Engvall]

That's the question. People like, do you now do you go dancing with your wife? Like, hell no.

[Bob Kevoian]

You did great, though.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, you were awesome.

[Bill Engvall]

I just wish. I wish they.

[Bob Kevoian]

We.

[Bill Engvall]

We could have done. There was two dances I wish that we could have done, but they weren't considered ballroom. And one was the. The two step and the other one was the white guy prom dance. You know, where the foot goes in front of the other one.

[Bob Kevoian]

Y. Oh, well. But that Cheyenne. Cheyenne could dance. Thank you, Bill. Bill Langvall coming up. Belton, Texas, Modesto, California, Louisville, Indy, and also some shows coming up. I just noticed this. In August and October, you're going to be back in Texas, up in Minnesota and Kansas, all over the place. Bill has a website that'll tell you all about where he's going to be and what he's done. Thank you very much, Bill.

[Bill Engvall]

See you again. And thank. And I truly meant that from the heart. Thank you again for all you've done for me. Thank you.

[Ally Breen]

You.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's always a great pleasure.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Former Texan, now living in beautiful Park City, Utah.

[Christy Lee]

He was a fan favorite on Dancing with the Stars. Man, he almost won that. Yeah, it was great.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, that was great.

[Chick McGee]

You ever skied at Park City?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah?

[Christy Lee]

Beautiful place.

[Chick McGee]

Good snow. Is that what a skier would say? Good.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. The snow in Utah is some of the best in the world.

[Chick McGee]

Now, what makes it powdery?

[Bob Kevoian]

It's very dry.

[Chick McGee]

Very dry. Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

All right. Hear that, Josh? Very dry, dry powder.

[Christy Lee]

Did you guys go skiing? Have you.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Never skied?

[Christy Lee]

Never?

[Chick McGee]

I. What is it? Apresky?

[Bob Kevoian]

You'd like the apresky.

[Chick McGee]

I sit at the fireplace. Fireplace in the bar. No, no, I. Whatever a shot is, is that I have a special name at the ski Chalet.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm a sweater.

[Christy Lee]

Are you?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, get me on the sled.

[Christy Lee]

All right.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'd like to see a sled down the mountains in Park City.

[Tom Griswold]

I do it. Love it.

[Bob Kevoian]

You probably hit 100 miles an hour before you get.

[Chick McGee]

After watching the bobsled and the luge and the skeleton. Wouldn't you like to do that at maybe go to Lake Placid? Don't they have that?

[Tom Griswold]

I'd love that.

[Chick McGee]

I think there's one in Wisconsin that's

[Bob Kevoian]

open a lot where civilians get to

[Chick McGee]

go down the bobsled run. Absolutely.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a milder.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that would be fun. You're not going 80 miles an hour.

[Bob Kevoian]

So you're just doing like the last 100ft.

[Christy Lee]

Are you laying on your back or laying face first?

[Chick McGee]

It's up to you, really. I think.

[Bob Kevoian]

So do it on a cafeteria tray like the old days. Christy Lee is at the Bob and Tom news desk. What else you got over there?

[Christy Lee]

Ferrari has unveiled its first fully electric car, the Eve. It's an EV model dubbed Lucha Italian for light.

[Chick McGee]

Oh.

[Christy Lee]

It will be the luxury sports car maker's first ever five seater. It will run with a Ferrari made electric motor on each wheel, helping the car hit 60 miles per hour in around two and a half seconds.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know.

[Christy Lee]

What would you pay for an electric Ferrari?

[Tom Griswold]

I wouldn't.

[Christy Lee]

Quarter of a million $640,000.

[Chick McGee]

Wow. That's down payment.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

The day after they released this, their stock tanked.

[Christy Lee]

It's expected to become available in the US sometime in the second quarter of 2020.

[Chick McGee]

Don't you agree, Tom, that when they get it down, and they will. I don't know when, but it's soon that you get off at an exit on an interstate and can recharge your car just like you get.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, sure, absolutely.

[Chick McGee]

Get a tank of gas, that's when it'll go through the roof. It. It'll take that same amount of time.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm wondering if they'll even have them in the highways themselves. Much like you can just set your phone on a certain thing and it charges.

[Chick McGee]

Right. Right.

[Tom Griswold]

It's charging as you're going.

[Chick McGee]

That's a great idea.

[Tom Griswold]

Some kind of strips under there.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

I just don't know if Ferrari is the way to go because apparently this was. Is. Has been met with almost exclusively negative criticism. Criticism.

[Christy Lee]

Just because they're an Italian luxury car maker and they shouldn't be doing ev.

[Bob Kevoian]

They should do whatever they want. I mean I don't. They're going to be some beautiful luxury evs and there already are some. But.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah there are.

[Bob Kevoian]

I know. Like I said they're. They're.

[Chick McGee]

Oh that's a cool look.

[Bob Kevoian]

They're stock tanked.

[Christy Lee]

See I'm not a fan of those colors.

[Chick McGee]

That's the first Ferrari I've seen that I. I kind of like.

[Christy Lee]

Really.

[Chick McGee]

I don't like that blue.

[Tom Griswold]

Like it looks like a reasonable vehicle.

[Christy Lee]

That's why you could. Yeah. Functional five seater. You don't have the bat wings to get in.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. I don't want to. I don't want to have to climb

[Christy Lee]

down onto the ground.

[Chick McGee]

I have enough trouble. I have enough trouble getting the baby car.

[Bob Kevoian]

640000 it better come with a guy named Luigi that rides around with you to fix it every time.

[Chick McGee]

What else do you want to Mr. Chick. Thank you Luigi. I'm Italian. I can do this. Thank you Luigi.

[Christy Lee]

A Chinese company claims its so called pet translator is approaching a 95% accuracy.

[Chick McGee]

No kidding.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I doubt it.

[Christy Lee]

Ming Xi Yaoi recently launched pre orders for its AI powered $118 pet transfer.

[Chick McGee]

Well that her name sounds like a something a pet would say.

[Christy Lee]

Which is worn on the animal's collar to interpret its sounds and behavior in real time.

[Bob Kevoian]

Interpret it into English.

[Christy Lee]

I would think it would be Chinese if it's Chinese.

[Bob Kevoian]

So that's not gonna really help much. Well I found out what my dog said to me yesterday. He said I'm sure you guys.

[Chick McGee]

I'm sure you guys have seen sound

[Tom Griswold]

like a native speaker. Didn't he.

[Chick McGee]

Many times received 10,000 disinterested aside that you bring to the show is a home run every time. No. You've seen the dogs who. Who put their paws on a word.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

And they dad, where's dad? Stuff like that. They really know.

[Bob Kevoian]

Know. Well they know certain things but backyard.

[Christy Lee]

I got a dog that knows way too much backyard.

[Chick McGee]

My Australian shepherd is doing my taxes.

[Bob Kevoian]

You get home and your dogs walked up to Andy. Christy bought more clothes online this afternoon. What?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You didn't hear from me?

[Chick McGee]

Be careful, she's going to hit you with a pillow.

[Christy Lee]

Well, this one will find food no matter where it is too. In my briefcase, basically. That was in the kitchen.

[Tom Griswold]

A woman with a briefcase. Oh, sorry.

[Chick McGee]

What's in there? Like pantyhose and a brush?

[Christy Lee]

No, I do have a brush.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, but I mean the dogs.

[Christy Lee]

But I had chocolate covered almonds. Ate the whole bag.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, they can smell them.

[Christy Lee]

Of course they were in the bag.

[Bob Kevoian]

Doesn't matter. So this interpreter thing they say there. It's on a pre sale right now.

[Christy Lee]

They've already sold 10,000 of them.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is there a demo? I would like to see a demonstration.

[Tom Griswold]

I know this is just silly. So it's gonna. The dog will bark and then this thing will go. More dinner, please.

[Chick McGee]

You know what's silly and what's the perfect crime are the fortune tellers who can read your dog's mind. You know, how the hell do you check that? Well, I don't think she's really saying that. Oh, my God, she is.

[Bob Kevoian]

What was it? Didn't they make a movie about that?

[Chick McGee]

Did they?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, the Horse Whisperer is based on.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, no. I mean, wasn't there one where the. The principal actress was a dog mind reader or something?

[Tom Griswold]

That's funny. Yeah, I hope it was a comedy of some sort. And she was.

[Chick McGee]

I hope so too.

[Bob Kevoian]

Anyway, yeah, I. This.

[Christy Lee]

I'm trying to find a video of it or something, but.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, here's one though. This is from South Korea.

[Chick McGee]

The.

[Bob Kevoian]

The dog is saying, don't eat me for lunch. Pretty accurate. Apparently not. Well,

[Chick McGee]

Don't eat. Don't eat me for lunch. You hear that, doc? Don't eat me for lunch. Tommy, you over there?

[Bob Kevoian]

What's going on now? We were mentioning Father's Day. There's a countdown. It's not that far away. And here's a great idea for a gift. The aura frame. Once again. Aura. Aura frames. You get [e-mail] we got one right in here, right behind Josh. I've got one at my fact. There's a picture of me with Jeff Foxworthy. The way it works, it's like a slideshow without that sound or a video show. You can load unlimited videos and photographs on the aura frame and you can do it remotely. This is why it's a great gift for those dads out there. You can send one to your dad wherever he May be. And when he gets up in the morning, walks into his office, walks into the kitchen, wherever the thing is, you got a new photograph on there you posted for them. It'll rotate through all those photographs. The way you set it up is it's done, like I said, remotely. The one we have here, any one of us in this room, we have the code. We could put any photographs on it we want. So it's a terrific gift. We get love letters about the aura frame. Now, it's been named number one by wirecutter, which should tell you something, something. And download the Aura app and text photos straight to the frame anytime you want. By the way, it reached number one in the app store on Christmas day last year. So that tells you something right now I want you to do this. Go to auraframes.com and make that one stop for your dad and you can get a limited offer, limited time offer, I should say. Bob and Tom show listeners get $35 off select frame if you use the code my name Tom. Once again, number one by wirecutter. And it was the number one app downloaded on Christmas day. That's how popular these things are. They really are great. Once again, 35 bucks off with the code [e-mail] and it's a U R auraframes.com and support our show by mentioning you heard about it on the Bob and Tom show. Terms and conditions apply. These are great frames. They come in various sizes and I think you'll have a lot of fun with it. And another know dads everywhere and moms will love it. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Just gotta get a hold of us.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Call, text or email. Get all the contact information you [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. At the news desk, it's Christy Lee. Hello, there's Josh Arnold. Hello, there's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick Magee. And yes, I'm a small ear canal sufferer. That's a shame.

[Christy Lee]

Did you just discover this yesterday? Really?

[Chick McGee]

I was in the airport when I went to Dallas and I thought, these earbuds are gonna fall out of my ear. And I thought, maybe you need a different size. And sure enough, I ordered new earbud covers. And the smallest, the smallest in the package fits my ear, Tom. I have to live with that.

[Bill Engvall]

Now

[Chick McGee]

what, what would you do? Would you face your.

[Bob Kevoian]

I googled it and apparently the. The disability, the small Ear canals are compensated with a larger rectal cavity.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, is that. I thought you were going to go with intellect. Yeah. Or intellectual. But. But, no, I have a bigger ass. Or as Christie so kindly put, a B hole. And she's laughing.

[Tom Griswold]

She is, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

She's really enjoying herself.

[Chick McGee]

She hasn't laughed like that in a long time.

[Christy Lee]

I'm sad that I said that.

[Tom Griswold]

And therefore, if it's larger, it's therefore more accommodating, I think, is what Tom.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that's what he means. Yeah. Sometimes two at once. No, waiting is what you have. Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Sorry. On a different note, are you. We did things in a different order today. We had a great chat with Jim Gaffigan this morning. Early.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, we did.

[Bob Kevoian]

This morning. We'll post that on our social media. We had Ali Breen with an early Thursday edition of Sexy Time. We talked with Bill Engvall. He's got a little tour going out there. Al Jackson unable to call today. He's traveling. Al's going to be at Dr. Grins in Grand Rapids coming up tonight, Friday and Saturday.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, fun.

[Bob Kevoian]

For some great live comedy.

[Chick McGee]

Dr. Grin sounds like Al Jackson, some bad guy in a scary movie. Dr. Grin will get you.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Don't you think?

[Bob Kevoian]

I agree. Now, we were talking about the Ferrari. Okay, The Ferrari. The new electric Ferrari. Their stock dropped 8% the day after they announced it, and once again, it's 640,000. I think it's kind of cool looking, but 640,000 bucks.

[Chick McGee]

I hope there's another color, but knowing Ferrari, there's not.

[Christy Lee]

I hope there's a Ferrari red.

[Bob Kevoian]

Come on, come on. Yeah, but for 640. I heard you get the undercoating.

[Tom Griswold]

Ah, that's good. They throw that.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. So. And the special paint treatment. They.

[Chick McGee]

He's never done this before.

[Bob Kevoian]

Christy, what have you got over there?

[Christy Lee]

Well, we have this list of Uber lost and found, but should I save it for tomorrow? And punt and go.

[Bob Kevoian]

This is always fun. There's always. There's always great.

[Bill Engvall]

Just.

[Bob Kevoian]

Just give us a couple highlights.

[Christy Lee]

The top five most commonly forgotten items on the Uber Lost and Found Index include number five.

[Chick McGee]

It's got to be a cell phone.

[Christy Lee]

Headphones.

[Chick McGee]

Number five, headphones. Okay. All right.

[Christy Lee]

I probably. Earbuds are in that.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Four keys. Number three, luggage. Oh, forgot my luggage.

[Chick McGee]

I fell on my keys.

[Christy Lee]

Number two, wallet. Number one is the phone.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah, that's. I mean, that's the obvious stuff.

[Christy Lee]

Some of the most unusual items found, dentures with two teeth. That's called a bridge, isn't it?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Breast milk.

[Chick McGee]

Huh.

[Christy Lee]

An ankle monitor.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I think they might have left that behind on purpose.

[Christy Lee]

420 donuts.

[Chick McGee]

See?

[Bob Kevoian]

How do you forget you've got 420 donuts?

[Chick McGee]

Does that work out to so many dozen? How many? 400.

[Christy Lee]

420 divided by 12 is.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I'll get you there. Hang on.

[Christy Lee]

Gold mouth grills.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay, that makes sense.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, a lot.

[Chick McGee]

I'm gonna get me a grill.

[Christy Lee]

Live fish, a 75 gallon fish tank, 35 dozen donuts. Wow.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wouldn't the driver notice if you loaded a 75 gallon empty fish tank in the car that when you get out, you want to take it with you?

[Christy Lee]

You would think I'm surprised.

[Chick McGee]

Phones are number one. Because I would think everyone would have their phone in their hand or in their pocket.

[Christy Lee]

Well, I have my phone in my hand because I make sure the Uber driver is going where he's supposed to go. Do you do that?

[Chick McGee]

I do the same thing. Yeah, absolutely.

[Bob Kevoian]

Usually when you get out of an Uber, you tip right away, right?

[Chick McGee]

I do not tip right away.

[Christy Lee]

I do.

[Chick McGee]

I keep them guessing. Sometimes the next day. 4.96 is my rating.

[Bob Kevoian]

I can't believe you've got a higher number than I do. Oh yeah, and you wait a day to tip.

[Tom Griswold]

I can't believe you guys care.

[Chick McGee]

Well said. The guy with the lowest in the. In the room.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, 4.7 gives a.

[Christy Lee]

Well, we're gonna get picked up before you do. That's what it means.

[Bob Kevoian]

I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't even.

[Christy Lee]

You don't think they look at that before they pick you up?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, they look, buddy.

[Tom Griswold]

I think I care what an Uber driver thinks.

[Christy Lee]

You do if you're standing in the rain waiting for a car.

[Tom Griswold]

That doesn't happen to me. I'm a grown person who drives myself around. I make decent decisions.

[Bob Kevoian]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

So we're a bunch of losers.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, kinda.

[Chick McGee]

He brings up a good point. Sometimes if I'm going through an especially difficult time and I have to make a decision, I will call the Uber. I say just take me around the downtown or whatever. And then I ask him what would he do? And that's how I my the toughest.

[Tom Griswold]

That's right.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

You guys rely on the. On strangers and I don't.

[Chick McGee]

Should I take responsibility for that? We'll review some.

[Tom Griswold]

Shoulder my own burdens.

[Bob Kevoian]

Funny things that have been left on Ubers. Now there's one that I'm. I can't believe this guy left this behind. A textured photo of a rhinestone. Jesus.

[Chick McGee]

We had a picture of Jesus in our house when I was a kid. Hit.

[Tom Griswold]

Huh?

[Chick McGee]

Right above the tv. It was a decoupage on a stump.

[Jim Gaffigan]

It was a. Oh, one of those.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Cross section of a tree.

[Tom Griswold]

I've seen those. I've never seen one with. With the Jesus on it.

[Chick McGee]

And there was a clock on it and the caption was Jesus Christ, look at the time.

[Tom Griswold]

So isn't that something?

[Chick McGee]

What do you think? Classy mom for leading act.

[Bob Kevoian]

You got that day, Gopa Jesus. You got two hillbilly things in the same item. Pretty nice.

[Tom Griswold]

We are Jesus is for hillbillies. That's what we're leaving you on today.

[Chick McGee]

That's what we're doing.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, boy.

[Chick McGee]

Aren't you something?

[Tom Griswold]

Graham Platner over there.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Give the pope a decoupage. Jesus. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and

[Bob Kevoian]

Tom show this morning even though we're not.

[Chick McGee]

Not too much to look at.

[Jim Gaffigan]

You can also watch the show on our YouTube channel.

[Bob Kevoian]

Full send golf.

[Chick McGee]

You guys know how much I really, really love Golf. Full send Golf 2v2.

[Bob Kevoian]

Me and VOD versus Big John and Kyle. Oh, it feels good to be back on the lengths with the boys. Join the party on the golf course.

[Christy Lee]

Back to golf in a big way.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now what?

[Chick McGee]

Practice.

[Bob Kevoian]

Let's go hit the range. I was like, let's go to the range.

[Chick McGee]

We are headed to the golf cart.

[Bob Kevoian]

Y you want to go for this?

[Jim Gaffigan]

No.

[Christy Lee]

You don't play golf?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Bob Kevoian]

Try.

[Chick McGee]

We gotta break par.

[Jim Gaffigan]

I'm very, very excited.

[Chick McGee]

You excited?

[Bill Engvall]

Yes.

[Jim Gaffigan]

Full send golf.

[Bob Kevoian]

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