The BOB & TOM Show - March 13, 2025

Summary

Summary of "The BOB & TOM Show - March 13, 2025"

The BOB & TOM Show continues its tradition of blending comedy, talk, news, and sports, delivering an engaging and entertaining episode on March 13, 2025. Hosted by Tom Griswold and Chick McGee, with contributions from Josh Arnold, Christy Lee, Pat Godwin, Willie Griswold, Sam Miller, and Al Jackson, the show offers a mix of humorous banter, listener interactions, and light-hearted discussions on various topics.

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1. Relationship Jokes and Musical Parodies

The episode opens with the hosts engaging in playful banter about personal relationships, utilizing song lyrics as comedic metaphors. They humorously reference Glen Campbell’s "Rhinestone Cowboy," weaving in exaggerated anecdotes about ex-girlfriends.

Notable Quote:

• Tom Griswold [03:20]: "Should have put that in a 55 gallon barrel."

---

2. Smoking Habits and Pet Waste Issues

A recurring theme revolves around smoking alternatives and the frustrations of managing pet waste. The hosts discuss nicotine pouches like Zyn and share amusing stories about encountering dog poop during walks.

Notable Quote:

• Sam Miller [05:34]: "One of my favorite dog poop stories, and I've done a lot of them."

Anecdote Highlight: Tom recounts an encounter with a man unwilling to manage his Great Dane's waste at a pizza place, leading to a comical confrontation.

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3. Supermarket Psychology: The Sad Banana Study

Christy Lee introduces an interesting study on supermarket marketing tactics, revealing that single bananas with sad faces saw a 60% increase in sales. The hosts debate the ethics and effectiveness of such emotional marketing strategies.

Notable Quote:

• Christy Lee [90:57]: "The study titled anthropomorphic Sad expressions reduce waste of Single Imperfect food."

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4. Listener Letters and Comedy Segments

A listener named Brian from Dayton writes about struggling with the time change and humorously requests Ace Cosby to inform him when it's "time to rock." The hosts create a playful segment around this theme, incorporating the concept of a "rock clock."

Notable Quote:

• Brian’s Letter [35:29]: "Ace Cosby tell me when it's time to rock?"

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5. Unique Sandwich Combinations and Food Stories

The hosts delve into quirky sandwich combinations, sharing personal favorites like peanut butter and bologna or peanut butter with dill pickles. They laugh over their family’s unconventional eating habits and explore the origins of these odd pairings.

Notable Quote:

• Tom Griswold [52:17]: "My favorite sandwich is peanut butter and bologna. Also, Peanut butter and dill pickles."

---

6. Guest Interview: Sam Miller’s Prison Comedy Performances

Comedian Sam Miller joins the show to discuss his unique experiences performing comedy in prisons. He shares a gripping story about encountering a serial killer inmate, highlighting the challenges and unexpected moments of humor in such environments.

Notable Quote:

• Sam Miller [114:34]: "...but I'm in a conversation with this dude, and I'm thinking about, like, this is the most awful of all human beings."

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7. Technology and Lifestyle Segments

The discussion shifts to technology’s role in entertainment, particularly Metallica’s upcoming VR concert experience through Apple Vision Pro. The hosts speculate humorously about the integration of technology in live performances.

Notable Quote:

• Christy Lee [122:39]: "Metallica's show is going to be delivered in an immersive concert experience on VR and AR headsets."

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8. Mental Health and Identity Theft Alerts

Christy Lee reports on a concerning rise in identity theft phishing scams, warning listeners about malicious "smishing" texts that threaten fake unpaid toll fees. The hosts emphasize the importance of vigilance and immediate deletion of such messages.

Notable Quote:

• Christy Lee [147:02]: "People who receive these so-called smishing texts should delete them immediately."

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9. News Stories and Funny Incidents

The show covers various humorous and unusual news stories, including:

• A Pennsylvania man attempting to smuggle a live turtle in his pants, leading to his arrest.
• Discussions about the discontinuation of physical encyclopedias and the shift to digital resources.
• An amusing exchange over slang terms like "tldr" (too long; didn't read) and their implications in modern communication.

Notable Quote:

• Sam Miller [157:02]: "...I had a turtle in my pants wrapped in a blue towel."

---

10. Closing Comedy Bits and Additional Stories

As the episode nears its end, the hosts continue with light-hearted jokes and interactions, including Chuck Norris jokes and humorous takes on everyday mishaps. They also discuss their upcoming shows in Peoria's famous Jukebox Comedy Club, blending promotional content seamlessly with comedy.

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Conclusion

"The BOB & TOM Show - March 13, 2025" exemplifies the show's signature blend of humor, relatable stories, and engaging discussions. From quirky food combinations and smoking habits to insightful comments on supermarket psychology and technology in entertainment, the hosts deliver a rich and entertaining episode. Listener interactions and guest stories add depth, making the show both informative and amusing for long-time fans and newcomers alike.

The inclusion of notable quotes with timestamps provides a glimpse into the show's comedic style, capturing the essence of The BOB & TOM Show as a staple of morning entertainment.

Transcript

[Tom Griswold]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.

[Josh Arnold]

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[Tom Griswold]

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[Josh Arnold]

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[Tom Griswold]

The process only takes minutes and it could mean hundreds more in your pocket. Visit progressive.com after this episode to see if you could save Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates.

[Josh Arnold]

Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.

[Christy Lee]

This is a message from sponsor Intuit. TurboTax Taxes was getting frustrated by your forms. Now Taxes is uploading your forms with a snap. And a TurboTax expert will do your taxes for you. One who's backed by the latest tech which cross checks millions of data points for absolute accuracy. All of which makes it easy for you to get the most money back guaranteed. Get an expert [e-mail] only available with TurboTax Live full service. Seek guaranteed [e-mail] guarantees it's the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, pally.

[Chick McGee]

It looks like your girls have dumped us.

[Tom Griswold]

They're taking speed too. Dean.

[Chick McGee]

Baby, blow me a kiss as you're leaving Blow me oh, a kiss right now.

[Tom Griswold]

Cause if you're gonna leave me, hon.

[Chick McGee]

Whoa, I'll surely miss the way you Blow me blow me a kiss Come on and blow me Blow a kiss.

[Tom Griswold]

Like you mean it Blow me a kiss goodbye.

[Chick McGee]

I really can't remember anything as hard as this. So don't blow me, blow me a.

[Tom Griswold]

Kiss.

[Chick McGee]

Some things in life are hard to swallow.

[Tom Griswold]

She couldn't take it all, Dean.

[Sam Miller]

She couldn't handle everything.

[Tom Griswold]

Kidding. You monster.

[Chick McGee]

But if she comes back tomorrow, I'll be shooting my wad.

[Tom Griswold]

Find flowers and a ring, Honey Blow me a kiss as you're leaving Blow me, oh, kiss as you go and always think about me as you're going.

[Josh Arnold]

Down your list Blow me, blow me.

[Chick McGee]

A kiss oh, yeah I'll miss her.

[Tom Griswold]

Arms and her elbows he'll miss her legs so tall I'll miss her neck and her shoulders But I'll miss her head most of all go down, boys.

[Chick McGee]

Mr. Royce Campbell on guitar, ladies and gentlemen. I loved it when he sang Rhinestone Cowboy, didn't you, pally?

[Tom Griswold]

That was Glen Campbell.

[Chick McGee]

Blow a kiss as you're leaving baby Blow me a kiss as you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Here'S the big finished D.

[Chick McGee]

And if you wanna come home, honey, hey, that's.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay Just grab ahold of this and.

[Chick McGee]

Baby, blow me Baby, won't you blow me Blow me again Are you proud of yourself with that performance.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm sorry. I. I don't know what happened.

[Chick McGee]

Always makes me.

[Tom Griswold]

I lost my place.

[Chick McGee]

Laugh loudly. Good morning. It's the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Whoa, whoa. Who?

[Chick McGee]

Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

Hello.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hello, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi there.

[Chick McGee]

Hello. Ace Cosby. And look at this. Willie Griswold's here.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, man.

[Chick McGee]

Good to see you guys.

[Josh Arnold]

Hello.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, y'all.

[Chick McGee]

I'm Chick McGee. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, and here is Tom Griswold. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Yay.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you bring your smokes? I don't know if you told Willie you're gonna start smoking.

[Chick McGee]

I got. I got one cigarette here.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, nice.

[Chick McGee]

Who gave you the dart? I think Bad Boy Ben.

[Josh Arnold]

Bad Boy Ben gave me that.

[Chick McGee]

Boy Ben gave me that. Gave me a dart.

[Josh Arnold]

He'll smoke.

[Tom Griswold]

Is Bad Boy Ben still on the smokes? Oh, yeah, I think he does.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, he does.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Bad Boy Ben.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, you gotta kind of respect it.

[Chick McGee]

We're calling him Bad Boy Ben because he's possibly the sweetest man alive.

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't know he was on the smokes, though.

[Josh Arnold]

First off, he's a total grouch.

[Tom Griswold]

Second, well, he's never been. What now?

[Chick McGee]

I see him out back all the time.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. Oh, so I don't go out back.

[Christy Lee]

Well, haven't you. He kind of smells when he walks in sometimes.

[Tom Griswold]

You're saying he smells like smoking?

[Christy Lee]

Like he smells like smoke?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, he smells like smoke.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

That's the only reason I knew that he was still smoking.

[Willie Griswold]

One of the great pleasures of smoking is other people not knowing you're smoking. It's. You kind of want to sneak out back. You kind of want to go hide by an air conditioner. There's something lovely about it.

[Christy Lee]

That's the.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the whole thing and theme of that song, smoking in front of the building. And it's not as common as it used to be, but it used to be you drive around the freeway and you'd see you go by these office complexes, and there'd be 10 people outside, and they become friends, they become a club.

[Christy Lee]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, I mean, can you have, like, a Zinn club? That's got to be pretty boring. There you go. You got one in.

[Willie Griswold]

There's a version of that. I've been at a bar and someone sees me from, like, a table away, be like, hey, dude, I don't want to bug you. Can I get one of those Zins. Are those wintergreen? You go, oh, yeah, take one, man. It's, it's. It's less social than, you know, having a smoke outside, but wintergreen.

[Tom Griswold]

Is this the menthol?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. There's spearmint. There's all kinds of flavors.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they're flavor.

[Willie Griswold]

It's like gum.

[Chick McGee]

It's like any other chocolate.

[Tom Griswold]

Anyone see a conspiracy going on here?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, they haven't gotten to cotton candy yet.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you. That's my logic.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Right. Now, you're familiar with the street I live on. I live on a dead end street. And metaphorically, about once every. About once every couple weeks, I'll take a little broom and a dustpan and maybe a little rake and I'll go down the street picking up garbage because it drives me crazy. I can't stand littering.

[Christy Lee]

Why are people on your street littering? They know better.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, here's the thing.

[Josh Arnold]

I go to history. Just a litter.

[Tom Griswold]

I couldn't figure out why I was finding so many white cigarette filters.

[Willie Griswold]

There's ends.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And then I was talking.

[Chick McGee]

I have never heard this word before.

[Tom Griswold]

Then I.

[Christy Lee]

It's the thing that I do, isn't it, Zyn?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

You guys have seen me do it.

[Tom Griswold]

Nope.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah, you see, a million times.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it's. It's like a. I didn't realize.

[Chick McGee]

It's a pouch thing with a nicotine delivery system.

[Willie Griswold]

You put it. Right now. I have one in right now. It's in between my teeth and my.

[Tom Griswold]

But if I were to go on my street right now, I would find 25 of them. And I thought they were filters from cigarettes at first. And then someone's explaining others. So the dog. People walk dogs in my street because there's no traffic. It's a dead end. So all the. Some of. One of the dog walkers has a real serious Zen habit.

[Christy Lee]

Gotcha.

[Tom Griswold]

And then occasionally I'll find a cigarette butt, also a white cigarette filter. So I don't know what brand is white as opposed to Parliament. Okay. But the. It's kind of bothering me. Then there are the people that don't pick up the dog poop.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Do you pick other people's dog poop?

[Tom Griswold]

If I have a. Yeah. If I've got an extra bag, which I usually do look forward to some.

[Chick McGee]

Time later this year. I've got this headache and fever. I'm not sure what it is. They tell me it's caused by dog poop. I'm not sure. Will you be careful, please?

[Tom Griswold]

No, you put. Here's the thing. You Know how you would. You have the dog bags, don't you? You put the bag around your hand, you pick up the poop and you.

[Chick McGee]

Pull it in reverse.

[Tom Griswold]

But the worst thing is when you've got a massive dog movement. You take the bag out, go like this, and your hand goes through it. Then you're going, okay, now what am I gonna do here? You gotta. Yeah, it's happened, but one of my favorite dog poop stories, and I've done a lot of them.

[Christy Lee]

What? Go ahead.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a really nice pizza place south of where I live. You've been there? Yeah, but they have four or five tables outside on the sidewalk. And when it's nice out and the.

[Christy Lee]

Dogs can go, yeah, sure.

[Tom Griswold]

And so I'm. This is. Honest to God, dude, this guy's got a Great Dane.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, no.

[Tom Griswold]

He's walking this dog and he has. He's holding. He's done the right thing. Somewhere around the corner, his dog is pooped and he's got about a bowling ball bag worth of poop in his hand and he's holding it like this way out in front of his face. And then he stops and starts chatting right in front of me. Eating pizza. Hey, could you scoot down there?

[Chick McGee]

Who was eating a pizza?

[Tom Griswold]

Me.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Me and the girls were eating a pizza place called Napoli's. Very nice place.

[Christy Lee]

Very nice.

[Tom Griswold]

This guy. Hey, look, if you've got it, I appreciate you picking up your dog, pooping your giant lovely Great Dane go down the street.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

The chat right here. In any event. So I learned about the Zinn filter.

[Willie Griswold]

Not a filter.

[Tom Griswold]

Littering my neighborhood. They look like little white filters. Right?

[Josh Arnold]

There's a little pouch.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, pouch. It's a. It's a nicotine delivery. Nicotine delivery system.

[Tom Griswold]

Which is fine. It's. It's probably. Are they cheaper than the gum?

[Willie Griswold]

They're about the same price as the gum. They're. It's. It's how I quit vaping and now I'm trying to quit that with the lozenges. Then I'll quit those with gum. It's a never ending circle of just switching products.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you miss smelling like cigarettes? No, not at all.

[Willie Griswold]

It's one of my favorite things.

[Pat Godwin]

I.

[Willie Griswold]

Man, I can't even think about that. I used to just rica cigs all the time.

[Chick McGee]

I was picking up this. You know my story. I've never ever even tried to smoke a cigarette. And I will be honest with.

[Sam Miller]

I get.

[Chick McGee]

I get wigged out holding a cigarette.

[Christy Lee]

Let's go outside and let you Try it. Just. Well, just.

[Chick McGee]

No, I don't want to. It wigs me out. I don't know what it is. I can't even being an adult, I've had the marijuana. I've had an edible every now and then, but I've tried to do the cigarette, the marijuana cigarette.

[Tom Griswold]

Can't do it.

[Chick McGee]

The closest I can get, if someone blows the smoke in my mouth, that's about it.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

I can't. I can't put something in my mouth and suck on it.

[Tom Griswold]

You've been around the block a few times.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I've been around the block.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not gonna pick you. I'm not gonna pick up. You've been around the block, bought two houses and given them away.

[Chick McGee]

That's the second day in a row you've talked to me about me selling a home for a dollar because of a divorce agreement. Will you stop it, please?

[Christy Lee]

You shouldn't be throwing stones.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, no kidding. But. No, my question is, have you ever dated or married a woman that smoked cigarettes?

[Chick McGee]

Absolutely.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

But I. But when I was a kid, I'm gonna say Till I was 30. I always thought, that's a disgusting habit. I'd never. And then, you know, you get hit in the head with whatever you feel, and then the next thing you know.

[Tom Griswold]

Ain't that a kick in the head? Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Josh, are you. You ever. You know one of these ladies that you frequent?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, I have.

[Tom Griswold]

Smokers.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Yeah. Some past girlfriends have been smokers.

[Tom Griswold]

And any. Any response to that at all?

[Josh Arnold]

Any response to that at all? Yeah, it didn't bother me too much. Yeah, I was. Yeah. Like, Chick said, you've. You fall in love or whatever, are you, like, the person and are you.

[Tom Griswold]

Willing to go out and buy them cigarettes?

[Josh Arnold]

I was not willing to do that. Now, if she. What I'm saying is, like, for Christmas, I always thought, oh, maybe I'll get her a carton as, like, a stocking stuffer. And then I went, no, I don't really want to contribute to her demise.

[Chick McGee]

Well, you know, the big. The big question that is if you go to the drugstore and get her tampons, whatever she needs for her cycle, that's. That's love, you know, because that's kind of a bear. But I never had a problem with that.

[Josh Arnold]

I never had a problem with that either.

[Chick McGee]

Absolutely not.

[Christy Lee]

Tom knows.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Not anymore. I mean, I had to do it not too long ago, and it was one of those things where you're on. You're doing the FaceTime.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Standing. Well, there's 300 kinds of these things.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You know. So which one is it? I. The kind I had to buy is some. Really? It's like OCD or something. What are they called?

[Chick McGee]

That can't be the name. That can't possibly be the name of a tampon.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not sure what the C stood for.

[Chick McGee]

The ocd.

[Tom Griswold]

Ovulating, whatever. I'm totally serious. I had to go to three different CVS's to find them. The guy goes, well, these are real popular. We don't have any. And I went, drove around town and then when I finally found a place that had them, I bought all of them. So there's some lady out there. I bought the gun leaking right now. And it's my fault.

[Chick McGee]

There's somebody. Some lady out there leaking right now.

[Tom Griswold]

Ace, have you ever bought cigarettes for one of your lady friends?

[Josh Arnold]

I have. Really?

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, we'll be.

[Josh Arnold]

We'll be somewhere, she'll say, stop and get some cigarettes and I'll stop.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Do you find that the ladies who smoke a little bit, do you make her pay easier? Oh, my. No, they are.

[Pat Godwin]

They are.

[Josh Arnold]

And the women I've dated who smoked, you couldn't tell.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. For the most part, I don't feel like I could either. Maybe I did at the time.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that speaks to a big deal. The. The love thing and the smells. Yeah. I say they because you're. Here's a fact. Your gas, your farts, if you will. Man, I hate that word. Don't smell bad to you, am I correct?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no, no. I've had a couple that I declare my own.

[Chick McGee]

I'll talk to you people.

[Willie Griswold]

There are exceptions, but.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, the same exception. If you are in a relationship with someone, they think you don't notice it. I don't know what it is. There's place in your brain.

[Tom Griswold]

There are certain moments of pass and passion. She could say, look, I've got explosive diarrhea.

[Chick McGee]

You'd go, I'm not talking about in a moment of passion. I'm just. Real relationship.

[Tom Griswold]

It's practically losers.

[Chick McGee]

Tom, tell us about Silac, will you?

[Tom Griswold]

Tom, Anything a chore to be around. Our friends at Silac are happy to sponsor the Christy Lee news desk. By the way, Christy, congratulations. When you leave on safari tomorrow. I love that look.

[Chick McGee]

You do look like. We're going to call to you for a live report from what is one of those Indiana Jones countries that they.

[Christy Lee]

Go to, like, like Zambia.

[Chick McGee]

Zambia. Christie, our reporter in Zambia, famous for the bamboo Pyramid.

[Tom Griswold]

It's three feet high. Where was I? Oh, I know. Civil unrest in Zambia are. Maybe your parents said one of those things where they get to retire, they get the gold watches. Thank you for working here your whole life. You know, we liked you so much, we're going to keep paying you and that's not happened for any of us anymore. I don't think this is where something called an annuity comes in. Who are the experts on annuities? Well, everybody knows that. It's the Silanac Insurance Company. It's all about setting yourself up so you can relax today knowing that tomorrow when it is retirement time, you'll still be receiving payments on a regular basis. You can even have them put, put it directly in your bank account. You can have them send a check if you like. Holding up that check, looking in the mirror and going, ha. Money. Well, that's the old whole thing here. It's all about feeling great about yourself in the future. Silec, they're the experts. Don't ask me. Are you kidding? Go to silec.s I l a c I n s dot com. Get yourself set for the future. Be thinking smart. In fact, we've made this so easy. You can actually go to bobandtom.com, peruse around looking cool stuff and you'll see Chick Magee introducing you to the Silac Insurance company and how it's going to work.

[Chick McGee]

That's me at the mailbox.

[Tom Griswold]

That's right. It's bobandtom.com or a silacins.com, the Silac Insurance Company. The experts on annuities. Coming up, we have some great stuff in the news. We have the weirdest story about a tactic that's that they're discovering at grocery stores that may make you buy something interesting. It's from. It's a. I love stuff like this. It's a psychological study that is really, really interesting.

[Chick McGee]

There's a field grocery store. That's not the proper term. Grocery store science and casino science and all that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And menu science.

[Chick McGee]

Yep. Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

What is it?

[Chick McGee]

They've got control of our brains, Josh.

[Tom Griswold]

On a two page menu, people always order the thing on the right page halfway down. I think it's this. Anyway, there's grocery store science. It's actually kind of cool. We have a very special dedication coming up in just a few minutes. In just a few minutes featuring something. Yes, very dated but really cool. Request and dedication coming up now. It is. Can you do that voice for me.

[Josh Arnold]

When we do it Casey. Casey.

[Tom Griswold]

That's who that was. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought it was Clem Caddlehopper. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christy Lee]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today.

[Tom Griswold]

Smart Choice.

[Christy Lee]

Progressive loves to help people make smart choices. That's why they offer a tool called Auto Quote Explorer that allows you to compare your progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies so you save time on the research and can enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you. Give it a try after this [e-mail], progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates not.

[Tom Griswold]

Available in all states or situations.

[Christy Lee]

Prices vary based on how you buy.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christie's here. Josh Arnold, Pat Godwin, Ace Cosby, Willie Griswold in the house.

[Willie Griswold]

What's up, guys?

[Chick McGee]

The kids still say that in the house?

[Willie Griswold]

Oh, yeah, they say it all the time.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, that's what I thought.

[Tom Griswold]

Word up.

[Chick McGee]

No, I think that's Cameo, which is a great song.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. And corn did a wonderful cover up.

[Chick McGee]

They, they, when they go right at the start. They've got me.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

For four minutes. I love it. Have you ever heard Cameo the word up?

[Tom Griswold]

I, I doubt it.

[Christy Lee]

I doubt it.

[Josh Arnold]

And then how about this chick? Here's my impression of.

[Tom Griswold]

Ow.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much.

[Josh Arnold]

Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

Ow.

[Josh Arnold]

Ow.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You like?

[Josh Arnold]

You like?

[Tom Griswold]

No, that's stolen. Well, that's. Wow.

[Pat Godwin]

Is that it?

[Josh Arnold]

What?

[Chick McGee]

I don't know who first did the wow, but it's, it should be in the Rock Players.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't it the Ohio Players?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, they say.

[Chick McGee]

Well, don't, I don't, I don't know definitively. Absolutely. It was the Ohio Players.

[Tom Griswold]

I think it was O'Reilly Auto Parts. Ow.

[Chick McGee]

Well, they are a sponsor and that would be a nice, tidy tie in, but I'm not sure really.

[Tom Griswold]

So you're denying my tie in. You're saying O'Reilly Auto Parts didn't invent the. Ow.

[Sam Miller]

Oh, here it comes.

[Chick McGee]

Here it comes.

[Tom Griswold]

Ow. I like it. That was it. That all I heard was feedback.

[Christy Lee]

You've heard this before, right?

[Chick McGee]

They're whistling. You've heard this before.

[Pat Godwin]

Great baseline.

[Tom Griswold]

I've never heard.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, wait till it starts.

[Chick McGee]

You've heard it. Prince Ish. Yeah, More staying the time around the world.

[Josh Arnold]

Weird thing for show.

[Tom Griswold]

I've never heard. Oh, wait a minute.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, now that you've heard this part.

[Tom Griswold]

I, I, I have never Heard this. Right?

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Christy Lee]

You're kidding me.

[Josh Arnold]

Now that you've.

[Tom Griswold]

What is this called?

[Christy Lee]

Word up.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's word up.

[Josh Arnold]

Now that you've heard a little bit of it, would you go give that a listen?

[Chick McGee]

Would you go to a concert and.

[Josh Arnold]

Go, you know what? I want to hear the rest of it.

[Christy Lee]

Would you climb down the ladder, walk.

[Josh Arnold]

The dog, Put the earbuds that wet your appetite?

[Tom Griswold]

I could sort of maybe see my little girls dancing to it.

[Chick McGee]

You can't deny that your head went a little. Started to bob a little bit.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it definitely is Prince.

[Josh Arnold]

Like, what year was that?

[Chick McGee]

Ah, I'm gonna say 80s.

[Christy Lee]

I'll look it up.

[Tom Griswold]

But I've heard the phrase word up. Sure. And. And then it just went to word. Right.

[Chick McGee]

I forgot the up.

[Tom Griswold]

So what does it mean? I never could quite figure it out. I asked Al about it recently.

[Josh Arnold]

It doesn't matter.

[Pat Godwin]

It's about a feel.

[Willie Griswold]

It can mean cool.

[Tom Griswold]

It can mean. Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Did you everyone hear him say he asked Al recently?

[Christy Lee]

1986. Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, man, I thought. I thought it was earlier than people.

[Tom Griswold]

Think it is, so. Has many meanings.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

It's art. It could mean many, many different things to many different people.

[Tom Griswold]

Word. Yeah, Word.

[Chick McGee]

That worked. Okay.

[Christy Lee]

I spent some time with the King's music list yesterday. Yeah, King Charles. It's pretty. It's kind of interesting because he, like, talks in between every record and has, like, a little story.

[Chick McGee]

Are you kidding? He's done being a dj.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, it's. It's kind of interesting.

[Chick McGee]

How have we not heard this princess died?

[Pat Godwin]

I was fighting.

[Christy Lee]

He did not say that.

[Tom Griswold]

You know.

[Chick McGee]

You know, you have to get up and you're early in the morning, and your dress is not there in the room with you just yet, and you're not sure what to do.

[Tom Griswold]

And your footman says, I don't have any rubber gloves for the enema. Is it okay if we go bareback, your highness?

[Josh Arnold]

That, my friends, is a true highway to hell.

[Christy Lee]

But I think, honestly, it made him more human to me because talking about meeting Bob Marley and going to Jamaica and.

[Chick McGee]

And smoking the ganja.

[Christy Lee]

He did not say that, but I was hoping.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that what you call a split?

[Pat Godwin]

You know, there was a law. Large fireplace. And I thought, wouldn't it be nice? Beach Boys.

[Chick McGee]

He does.

[Christy Lee]

He talks about every. Why he's picked the Kylie Minogue song, why he picked Locomotion. And he said, couldn't you get up and dance to this? It's got a nice beat. I mean, it's pretty.

[Chick McGee]

And of course, every now and then I miss my mother. The queen talked about she was my best friend. Speaking of Queen.

[Christy Lee]

I found myself very entertained while at Eton.

[Tom Griswold]

I decided to like Lou Reed. Take a walk in the wild side, you know, what goes where. Right, Steve? A little bit of royal sodomy.

[Willie Griswold]

Does he do ads? No, he doesn't do ads.

[Christy Lee]

No, no, he doesn't do ads.

[Chick McGee]

Oh.

[Willie Griswold]

I really want him to, like, be doing a dude's wife commercial halfway through.

[Christy Lee]

At least I only I got to listen to about a.

[Josh Arnold]

If you want the most qualified candidates, zip recruiter.

[Chick McGee]

If you weren't born into privilege.

[Christy Lee]

But I honestly expected it to be, oh, here's King Charles playlist. Because we, you know, played a little bit at the beginning where he's talking about why he picked the songs. So I just expected the songs to just roll through like you do on Spotify. But no, he talks every song and there's a story.

[Pat Godwin]

What kind of pop music does he love?

[Christy Lee]

He played Locomotion and he.

[Tom Griswold]

Which version?

[Christy Lee]

He played Kylie Minogues because she did.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that the song? The Locomotion? Come on, baby.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know who Kylie Minogue is.

[Christy Lee]

She's Australian. Is it?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

New Zealand. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

One of those. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Down there somewhere.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. I also don't know Natalie Imbruglia.

[Sam Miller]

Right.

[Willie Griswold]

I also don't know who she is. But you don't have to say it like you're offended by it.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm just saying because I hear this Locomotion. I'm either thinking either the original or maybe the Grand Funk version. You know, you don't like the Grand Funk.

[Chick McGee]

Should have put that in a 55 gallon barrel.

[Tom Griswold]

I think it's fair.

[Josh Arnold]

It's got to be one of the more ream. Because there was another one in the 80s and 90s.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Carole King.

[Josh Arnold]

Is that right?

[Tom Griswold]

I think she wrote it.

[Chick McGee]

Do you remember how upset you were? You heard the Doobie Brothers Real Love and you insisted someone was playing the organ with their feet.

[Willie Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Same thing in Grand Funk's Locomotive.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no, chick, I. I'm with you on this. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it rocks.

[Sam Miller]

Ooh.

[Tom Griswold]

Word.

[Chick McGee]

What'd you say?

[Tom Griswold]

Word. Okay. All right. Thank you very much.

[Pat Godwin]

This is one of the finer moments of the 80s.

[Chick McGee]

You know, my mother loved Cameo.

[Pat Godwin]

I used to bang Camilla to this.

[Chick McGee]

I wish I was your. Never mind.

[Christy Lee]

But, you know, he played a Millie Smalls song from the 60s. I don't know if you remember her.

[Chick McGee]

Who's Millie Smalls?

[Christy Lee]

She doesn't. As soon as I heard the song, I knew who she was. It was called Millie Smalls. Yeah, she's Jamaican as well.

[Tom Griswold]

I. I don't know. I don't know that one.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, God. My Boy Lollipop.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh. Oh, God, I hate that song.

[Christy Lee]

He played that.

[Tom Griswold]

Why?

[Chick McGee]

I wanna. I wanna hear him jocking it up.

[Christy Lee]

Because he said he'd met Millie Smith. He was one of her. He goes. But when. That trip to Jamaica.

[Tom Griswold]

He must have been. He must have been 12.

[Josh Arnold]

It's called my Boy Lollipop.

[Tom Griswold]

It is. Oh, my God. You make my heart go giddy up.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yes, but it's not lollipop.

[Tom Griswold]

Lollipop.

[Chick McGee]

It is.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no, I. I know.

[Chick McGee]

When you said damn songs were there with lollipops.

[Josh Arnold]

Far too many.

[Chick McGee]

2, 2, 3.

[Willie Griswold]

Beatles. 90 of songs are about lollipops.

[Tom Griswold]

You make my heart go giddy up.

[Chick McGee]

What a great vocal. No one said ever.

[Willie Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

All right. Before my Super D. Now take your finger. Take your finger.

[Tom Griswold]

Ah, there we go.

[Christy Lee]

So he went from Bob Marley into that, into Kylie Minogue, into my grandmother loved 20s and 30s music, which is one of my favorites. And then he goes into some.

[Tom Griswold]

That was her last.

[Chick McGee]

That was her last request before I killed her. Sometimes kings. His grandmother.

[Tom Griswold]

Didn't she live to be a hundred something? Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

One hundred and something.

[Tom Griswold]

She's beloved.

[Josh Arnold]

I heard her mumble through the pillow.

[Chick McGee]

Something about breathe deep, the gathering glue.

[Josh Arnold]

Something about Glenn Miller.

[Christy Lee]

Talked about the big band orchestras.

[Tom Griswold]

He went down in a plane. Of course I went down on.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, yes, we know you think Charles is gay. We get it.

[Josh Arnold]

Hold me by the ears, Brian.

[Tom Griswold]

No, remember that this is true. This sounds like it's not. But during the whole they. The whole thing about him wanting. He wrote that poem or something to Camila, but he wanted to be her tampon.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

No, that's real. I'm not making that conversation.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, that was before Intercepted.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean that when it comes to sort of.

[Josh Arnold]

Your lollipop is still playing.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, sorry. Is it still there? Oh, yeah. I can't. My hearing is terrible.

[Josh Arnold]

That doesn't mean you have to be bad with the equipment.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it does now. John. Josh, you're something.

[Pat Godwin]

Turn the headphones off.

[Tom Griswold]

Josh, you're something of a poet.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Real quick, wouldn't you say that if. No matter what kind of thing you're trying to get across, saying I love you, like I could be your tampon. Yeah, not really a good way to.

[Josh Arnold]

What rhymes with crammer?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, let's see. Kotex. No, hard to rhyme that.

[Josh Arnold]

I've got It. In the days of York.

[Willie Griswold]

This is a guy. He's never had to be sexy his whole life.

[Christy Lee]

That's right.

[Willie Griswold]

He's never had to work, really. Especially with his words with women.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, true.

[Christy Lee]

That's true.

[Tom Griswold]

But actually, that gig he has is he has to do.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, it's.

[Tom Griswold]

He really does have to. You got to appear lots of places and gotta.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Although I'm about ready to vomit when I saw the latest People magazine with.

[Christy Lee]

No, not Meghan Markle.

[Tom Griswold]

Meghan Markle.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, you actually looked at that?

[Tom Griswold]

No, it was sitting on a table. I walked by. Why is she in the news again?

[Chick McGee]

She's got a new show out, right?

[Christy Lee]

New Netflix. Of course she does.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

It's like a Martha Stewart. She's just teaching you how to cook.

[Chick McGee]

I think she would. Would have been an okay actress had all that not happened. She was okay in suits. Yeah, she was fine in suits. And then you.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, I think. I think being a good actress makes you worthy.

[Chick McGee]

Then when her name shows up in the credits, her royal suck. Father or something change.

[Christy Lee]

She did.

[Willie Griswold]

Is that what it is?

[Tom Griswold]

The Duchess of the Princess of Snatchelina.

[Christy Lee]

She changed her last name to Sutton Sussex.

[Chick McGee]

What?

[Christy Lee]

She changed her last name to Sussex.

[Chick McGee]

It says Megan Sussex.

[Willie Griswold]

Don't people do that when they get married, though?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but if you do your reading, if you go back, their real name is, like, Mountbatten. No, no, it's like Hindenburg.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, well, if you want to get.

[Josh Arnold]

Into that, you know, I would change my name if it were Hindenburg also.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, it's.

[Chick McGee]

No, the Russians are. And the King of England were brothers or something. If you're gonna go back that far.

[Tom Griswold]

It'S something Hitleresque anyway.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my Lord.

[Tom Griswold]

They changed their name.

[Christy Lee]

I'm not a fan. We all know that.

[Tom Griswold]

I remember the name of the tampons I had to buy. Christy Ob O B Tampons.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they're applicatorless.

[Chick McGee]

Not obes.

[Tom Griswold]

Whatever they are. They were.

[Chick McGee]

You mean Obi Topping of the Indiana Pacers? Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But, yeah, they're hard to find.

[Chick McGee]

I'm over top of OB tampons because he.

[Willie Griswold]

Obi's known for dunking. They have to do a video where. There you go, dunking a huge tampon.

[Chick McGee]

He jumps, he stays up.

[Willie Griswold]

Baby, let me take care of you gals.

[Tom Griswold]

So, yeah, I was out there. You're talking about how embarrassing it could be to have to go buy tampons. It was okay.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, you got daughters. You're gonna be doing it again soon.

[Chick McGee]

You Might want to put a tampon concession in. In the basement.

[Tom Griswold]

Think about. I've been doing it for a long time.

[Chick McGee]

Step right up. Get your tampons. Get your tampons here.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's right.

[Christy Lee]

Never mind.

[Tom Griswold]

You ever had to go, no, that.

[Pat Godwin]

Wasn'T a joke for the air.

[Tom Griswold]

You ever had to buy tampons for your lady friend Pat?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, of course.

[Tom Griswold]

You're not too embarrassed?

[Josh Arnold]

Nah, there really is nothing embarrassing about it. Just gonna self check.

[Tom Griswold]

No, but it's finding the mace. You walk in there and there's this array of devices and had to buy some for myself.

[Josh Arnold]

I know, but no woman just sends a guide to the store and goes get tampons. No, they are telling you what to get.

[Christy Lee]

Right. We're not just gonna use any. There are a lot of different sizes. There are a lot of different colors.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that's for sure.

[Chick McGee]

What's the old joke? What do you want? The kind you push in with your thumb or the kind you pound in with a hammer? What is that joke? Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

What is the setup? Yeah, that's a good joke.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, come on. This woman's looking for tampons.

[Josh Arnold]

There's a tax is the thing.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

I, I, I, I will dig it up. We have to get. Wait a minute. Look at the time. We have to get this mail coming up here real quick.

[Chick McGee]

Here's Tom talking about tampons.

[Tom Griswold]

I guess tampon makes.

[Pat Godwin]

Makes its own gravy.

[Christy Lee]

Makes its own gravy.

[Tom Griswold]

What is the context of that?

[Chick McGee]

Tampon makes its own gravy is what it says.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't want to know the context. It's better without it.

[Chick McGee]

Are we on to the letters? Oh, no.

[Christy Lee]

But I want to say something really quickly.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, Lord.

[Christy Lee]

We've been talking about King Charles and Britain and everything. We all know that I'm going to take a trip to the British. Yeah. See the British landscapes coming up this fall. And if you've had any inclination of thinking about joining us, we're gonna. I'm gonna host a special live Zoom presentation this afternoon at 4:00 Eastern Daylight Time. And we'll give you all the information you need. There's no.

[Tom Griswold]

Where are you gonna be?

[Christy Lee]

I'm probably gonna be sitting on my porch outside.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no. Where do you find it? Online?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, at Bob.

[Pat Godwin]

He was direct directing you.

[Christy Lee]

You can go to bobandom.com trip and you'll find out all the information. But join me at 4:00. Doesn't cost nothing to find out more information.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good. A very special dedication comes coming up. Oh yeah, very excited about that. But first I want to remind you about the best way to listen to this program is of course on those Raycon earbuds.

[Chick McGee]

That's right, Raycon's everyday earbuds. They're even more. They're even more better. Christy, have you heard active noise cancellation at Raycon capable of drowning out the most maddening of sounds? Raycon's everyday earbuds, your quieting sidekick for the gym, work or phone calls. Offering premium audio that goes where you go. And there's nothing worse than really going after it in a big time workout and one of your earbuds falling out of you. It throws your whole workout routine off. Not with Raycons. And the latest model is better than ever. The 32 hour battery life and multi point connectivity that lets you pair with two devices at once. Raycon's quick charge function has 10 minutes of charging, they yield 90 minutes of battery. And Raycons start about half the price of other premium audio brands with similar features. Raycon's everyday earbuds come in a massive vibrant colors and some collector colors like rose gold. And if you don't love Raycons, they have a 30 day happiness guarantee return policy, something I've never heard of. Go to buyraycon.com tom today we get love letters all the time about it. You get 20% off the best selling everyday earbuds. That's buyraycon.com Tom thank you very much.

[Tom Griswold]

Chick Magee. Coming up, one of the shortest, funniest letters we've ever gotten. I'm very pleased with this one. I think you'll like it very much. I'll remind you a couple quick things. Willie G. And Sam Miller on the road Peoria Friday and Saturday night. That's going to be great at the Jukebox Comedy Club that's coming up this weekend. And we have some great stuff coming up in the new. Is there any sports?

[Chick McGee]

There is. We've got a hole in one at the fifth major. They call it the Players Championship, but it wasn't by a competing player. It's pretty interesting.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, okay.

[Chick McGee]

All in one. All right.

[Tom Griswold]

And and other exciting things in the news. And we are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Sam Miller]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe, listeners.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you looking for a shortcut to better auto insurance for you? Something that takes all the research off Your plate. Something that's easy, Something that matches you at lower rates. Something genius.

[Josh Arnold]

That's where NerdWallet comes in.

[Tom Griswold]

These nerds have already done the work for you. Just answer a few questions and ta da.

[Josh Arnold]

You'll be matched with top insurance providers in your area.

[Tom Griswold]

Find the right rate for you [e-mail].

[Josh Arnold]

After all, using NerdWallet is more than just smart.

[Tom Griswold]

It's genius.

[Josh Arnold]

Not all applicants will qualify for the lowest monthly payments. NerdWallet Insurance Services, Inc. CA resident license number OK. 92033.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Josh Arnold, Ace Cosby, Christy Lee, Pat Godwin, Willie Griswold's here. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, a very special request from someone. A really sweet, nice request. Before we get to it, a couple of quick letters. This one may be one of my favorite short letters.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, it's letters, Tom. Tom, do you have a letter?

[Pat Godwin]

I like it.

[Willie Griswold]

Give this one a severance.

[Chick McGee]

You know how to samba? This is a samba.

[Christy Lee]

Samba doesn't.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean this to me. I. I just see Jack Lemmon walking into a New York City apartment, lighting up a cigarette, making a martini.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, isn't that great?

[Tom Griswold]

Hot blonde comes in and. Oh, this is great. Now.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, go ahead.

[Tom Griswold]

Dear radio personalities, the word personality in quotes. I'm not sure how to take that, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, you know what? I'm gonna give this listener the benefit of the doubt.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, then it becomes one of the best letters of all time. It's from Brian. He writes. Like several of you, I've been struggling with the recent time change. Yeah, I was whining about that the other day. In order to help me correct the time on my clocks, can you please have Ace Cosby tell me when it's time to rock? I just. Ace, cod. You want to handle that? Is it time to rock?

[Josh Arnold]

There's only one way to rock.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, okay. Yeah, I guess we'll be getting the time on that later.

[Chick McGee]

All he had to say was, it's time.

[Willie Griswold]

It was confusing.

[Chick McGee]

No, it's always confusing. If you like being muddled, talk to Ace. No, no.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I think Tom's on. Clearly not time to rock.

[Pat Godwin]

He would have told us he wasn't ready yet.

[Tom Griswold]

No one's ready, right?

[Pat Godwin]

It's not time to rock.

[Chick McGee]

I think it might be time. Are you ready to rock?

[Pat Godwin]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Well, I think Ace has no idea what it's like.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, for those about to rock, we salute you again. Still clearly not time.

[Tom Griswold]

Wouldn't it be great to. You. You called that. Remember that?

[Chick McGee]

How is he getting laughs for that?

[Tom Griswold]

Remember the old thing you'd call that number to be? The Naval Observatory, Blah, blah, blah.

[Chick McGee]

The official time is United States Naval Observatory Master clock.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, that's all fine, but we're not. I mean, look, we. We consulted the rock clock.

[Tom Griswold]

It's not time to rock.

[Josh Arnold]

No, he would tell us.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, we actually have another letter that kind of references when it's time to rock.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no. You'll be. You're needed for this one.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, I'm here. I'm your man.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm a listener who drives a truck. I certainly enjoy it, at least for a while. When Chick McGee would introduce Leonard Skynyrd on the program.

[Chick McGee]

Well, 20 seconds of hey, put Skynyrd back up on your button bar.

[Tom Griswold]

Thought it's not up there.

[Chick McGee]

No, this is where Skynyrd used to.

[Josh Arnold]

Be.

[Chick McGee]

A little different.

[Tom Griswold]

So then Ace is right. Because clearly it is not time to rock.

[Chick McGee]

It's not time to rock.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

Although we could play this if you want to rock.

[Tom Griswold]

This is not time to rock either.

[Christy Lee]

This is fun.

[Tom Griswold]

It's kind of rock.

[Chick McGee]

It rocks. It rocks.

[Tom Griswold]

This is not rock.

[Josh Arnold]

We can do the corn version. Yeah, it's. It's surprisingly faithful to this one.

[Christy Lee]

Is it really?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I don't care for corn because there. Ares backwards.

[Tom Griswold]

There you go. Now we're talking with Skynyrd. Is it time to rock?

[Josh Arnold]

It's not time.

[Tom Griswold]

Still. Kyler. Sorry.

[Chick McGee]

It's not. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Not time to rock. Kyler writes, your show's off the rails like a redneck who is 12 bush lights deep.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I. I'm often that I agree.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Yesterday we had a letter from. During the Ali Breen segment, Tom, where this gentleman was mad because he took his girlfriend to a strip club. Willie. And she got topless. And he didn't care for this.

[Pat Godwin]

Why?

[Willie Griswold]

It's.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

Mad because of more boobs.

[Josh Arnold]

Right. Right. Well, I don't think he liked the idea of his friend.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, his girlfriend and his buddies were with him.

[Willie Griswold]

Okay, I guess that makes sense, I think. But.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, we have a letter here that says, at my 50th birthday party, our son's girlfriend wanted to go to a strip club. Several of us. So that's the girlfriend. She said, I want you to take me. All you guys take me to a strip club. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait, this is from the dad.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. Of the Sun.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Several of us piled into a van. This is so fun.

[Willie Griswold]

They gotta make a Playlist on the.

[Josh Arnold]

Way they do because there was an hour to get there.

[Chick McGee]

One of my son's girlfriends gotta take her top off. Let's go.

[Josh Arnold]

So they drove an hour. It was late. We got a seat at the front of the stage. Oh, they were ready.

[Chick McGee]

Sure he did.

[Josh Arnold]

About 15 minutes into the night, a dancer coaxed my son's girlfriend into exposing her ample breasts. Ample, yes. This happened several times. When we walked out, the bouncers told my son, you better marry that girl. She is now Tom, our daughter in law.

[Pat Godwin]

What a sweet smile.

[Tom Griswold]

I wonder if they brought that up as one of the toasts at the wedding. Hey, Zelda, take them off. Let's show the ladies. Come on, come on.

[Josh Arnold]

Don't be shy tonight.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, Granny hasn't seen a firm pair in 20 years. She's been playing soccer with her nipples since 79.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, boy.

[Josh Arnold]

Christy, if your husband's dad saw your boobs, wouldn't you think that was odd?

[Christy Lee]

Yes, I would be very uncomfortable every time I saw him again. Really weird.

[Chick McGee]

Well, what if that's. You haven't been married very long? What if that's some sort of tradition in this wacky family you're married into?

[Tom Griswold]

Wouldn't it involve a ghost?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I was being hypothetical.

[Christy Lee]

Clearly.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Ye certainly.

[Chick McGee]

So much for yes and. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, now I want to play a very special request. This comes to us from Sarah, longtime listener, first time emailer.

[Josh Arnold]

Is it Starship Sarah?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, another crap song.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. This is about for her grandma. And her grandma is Mary. And Mary worked here many years ago as our receptionist. She was the sweetest, nicest lady.

[Christy Lee]

I loved Mary.

[Tom Griswold]

I just. Oh, she was the best. Now, I want to preface this by saying Mary was a woman of a certain age.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And congratulations to Mary. She's 95 years old now, and she's been living independently. She's about to move to assisted living. And I know that my mom did that when she was in her 90s and she loved it. So I bet Mary's gonna be going to a really fun place. But I want to explain something. When you work in this building, you are a potential victim at any moment, right, you can be grabbed and they'll say, hey, could you come in here and do this voice for us? So, Mary, you know, it just struck.

[Chick McGee]

Me that when Mary worked here, we all thought she was old, she was our age. That we are right now.

[Tom Griswold]

I just said a woman of a certain age. I have class and style.

[Chick McGee]

I can't. I can't go forward.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, this. This involves a certain Era of music, the sort of Seattle sound, the grunge thing. And the woman who portrays the mother in this is. Is the lovely Mary.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, cool.

[Willie Griswold]

Mother.

[Tom Griswold]

And in her honor, I want to play this. I know she's gonna have a great time when she moves on. 95 years of age. A lovely woman. Always been a good moves into the new place.

[Chick McGee]

I'm so sorry, Negative Jason. I was gonna say something, but I'm trying to be nice today.

[Tom Griswold]

Now we have to edit this thing. Let's get right to it. But this may be a little bit dated.

[Chick McGee]

Push the button.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, here. Here it comes.

[Chick McGee]

You're 20 something, living at home with your folks. And that liberal arts degree didn't quite pan out like you were hoping. You're young, you're hip, but you're going nowhere. And lately, you're having trouble going at all. Hey, mom, can you toss me up.

[Tom Griswold]

A copy of my Spin magazine?

[Chick McGee]

I'm gonna be in here a while. Gee, honey, I didn't know you were up yet. It's only noon.

[Josh Arnold]

Come on, Mom.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm really constipated in here.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I've got something for that, honey.

[Al Jackson]

Please, Mom.

[Chick McGee]

Wait just a minute. Mom.

[Tom Griswold]

He needs a laxative.

[Chick McGee]

All right, but your Haley's MO Won't cut it with today's suburban, trendy, angry young man. He needs new Generation Xlax. Generation Xlax. Generation XLax. When no matter how hard you try, you just can't give a.

[Willie Griswold]

Hey, Mom, I'm still in here.

[Chick McGee]

Honey, why don't you take some Generation X xlax, huh? Honey, it says right here on the bottle. Four out of five doctors surveyed said that if your pearl jammed up, Generation XLAX will lollapaloosen your bowel. Come on, Mom. I've seen the Generation XLax commercial on MTV. They say it's leaving a whole generation unplugged. That's right, Mom. Reality bites. When you're all bound up with Generation xlax, your bowels will be slacker just like your son. Hey, honey, there's a premium offer here on the bottle. Let's see. Fifteen minutes after taking Generation xlax, you'll be hearing splashing pumpkins.

[Pat Godwin]

Mom, I think it's Smashing Pumpkins.

[Chick McGee]

What's this about counting corn? That's counting Pros, Mom. Generation XLax. When no matter how hard you. You just can't give a sh T. Or Take one.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, it's me, Irish rock superstar Bono. If you're just sitting there but you still haven't found what you're looking for, try Generation Ex Lax. And you too can have a BM. Wow, mom, thanks.

[Pat Godwin]

Generation XLax really works, which is more than I do. Anyway.

[Tom Griswold]

What a great feeling.

[Pat Godwin]

Kind of like Nirvana.

[Chick McGee]

Honey, light a match, please. I don't think that smells like teen spirit. Generation X Lax on the drugstore shelf in the distinctive plaid flannel bottle with the cap on backwards.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much. Sending that out to Mary.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, bravo, Mary.

[Willie Griswold]

Take that, all you young Gen X kids.

[Pat Godwin]

Enjoy your new place.

[Tom Griswold]

That is just. It's so many dated references.

[Josh Arnold]

So wonderful.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

And the bottle impression just.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

I didn't know he was from Liverpool.

[Tom Griswold]

That's what he was affecting. All right.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Willie Griswold]

Sunday, Bloody Sunday.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. Oh, God, that's just funny. Mary, best of luck. You're gonna have a great time.

[Pat Godwin]

Sounds adorable.

[Tom Griswold]

At your new place. And once again, if you ever enter and someone says, hey, could you read this? Don't do it, very bad things could happen. She. Great. Now, coming up, we have a lot of fun things, including a great thing about what's happening at your favorite grocery store. Also, a gigantic egg is in the news. And with prices these days, who doesn't want a big egg? We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Sam Miller]

Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Get a look at today's show on our YouTube YouTube channel.

[Tom Griswold]

Check engine light on. Take the guesswork out of your Check.

[Chick McGee]

Engine light with O'Reilly Variscan. It's free and provides a report with.

[Tom Griswold]

Solutions based on over 650 million vehicle scans verified by ASE certified master technicians. And if you need help, we can recommend a shop for you. Ask for O'Reilly Veriscan today.

[Sam Miller]

O'Reilly Auto Parts.

[Tom Griswold]

Why?

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the SILAC Insurance news desk. Hi, there's Pat Godwin.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Willie Griswold here today. There's. Hey, there's Josh Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Chicky.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby.

[Josh Arnold]

It's time to say hello.

[Pat Godwin]

Darn, that close.

[Josh Arnold]

That is the rock clock speaking. He's to let us know when it's time to rock.

[Chick McGee]

Once again, I insist. Someone tell me what you're laughing at. I have to know. Mr. Lamb wrote us a letter to know.

[Willie Griswold]

Here's what I. I'm laughing because he's like a weird rock riddler and he speaks. And these. It's kind of like Confucius. They don't really make sense.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Willie Griswold]

There's a general theme, but there's no real Narrative or.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, Tom, how are you? What's going on over there?

[Tom Griswold]

Ace Cosby is Buddha. We had a letter from Mr. Lamb saying he is like me.

[Chick McGee]

He's Robert Lamb.

[Tom Griswold]

No, this. Brian Lamb.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, Brian Lamb.

[Tom Griswold]

Wally Lamb.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, it's Brian Lamb. Sorry, Wally.

[Tom Griswold]

Who's Wally Lamb?

[Josh Arnold]

Author of She's Come Undone.

[Tom Griswold]

The song?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no, no. The book.

[Tom Griswold]

I love that song.

[Josh Arnold]

I do, too.

[Tom Griswold]

She's Come.

[Pat Godwin]

What book is so much better.

[Tom Griswold]

What's better?

[Pat Godwin]

Read the book first. It's much better.

[Josh Arnold]

This is totally my fault. No, I.

[Tom Griswold]

There was a thread going and you just cut it. It's okay. No one. No, no, no one appreciates a lack of linear thought more than I do.

[Josh Arnold]

Tangled it up real bad and then cut it.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, okay. Then set it on fire and then.

[Josh Arnold]

Garroted ourselves with it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. No, the song by the Guess who Undone. Brilliant song. Short, sweet, great. No, Mr. Lamb wrote us saying he's confused about the time zone thing. With the time and the changes and the things. And he wanted. He wanted Ace Cosby to let him know when it. When it is time to rock.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

And thus far, it's not right.

[Josh Arnold]

The rock clock will tell.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So at what will he just break in at some random point saying it's time to rock?

[Josh Arnold]

I think we can trust that Ace will break in at some random point and let us know when it's done.

[Pat Godwin]

He's the rock climb clock.

[Tom Griswold]

When he goes crazy, who's he going to shoot first?

[Josh Arnold]

Ace?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You think Ace is going to. I'm going to get shot first. But you think he's going to go crazy?

[Tom Griswold]

My question.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't think Ace will go crazy.

[Christy Lee]

I don't think he's the one that's going to go crazy first.

[Tom Griswold]

Who is? Oh, be weird. If you did Christie, it would.

[Josh Arnold]

But would anybody blame her? Yeah. Right.

[Willie Griswold]

Anyway.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, she's a case dismissed, waiting to happen. Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

Any of you guys in this room, you could snap one day. I'd go, yeah, I get it. That makes sense.

[Christy Lee]

Why not? I really don't need to die yet.

[Tom Griswold]

I can abs.

[Willie Griswold]

All of you have complete justification to come in here and just tear the TVs off the wall, rip the mics out. I'd get it.

[Christy Lee]

Wouldn't that be hysterical?

[Tom Griswold]

Actually, it'd be fine. By the way, if you want to, we were traveling in time earlier. We played that generation XLAX piece.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

If you want to travel in time, you go to the back of this building.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

And they still have those. What do you call the Big TV sets. The big, square, boxy ones.

[Christy Lee]

Monitors.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that a vtr?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, crt.

[Tom Griswold]

Crt, yeah, the ones. Yeah, the ones that are the size. Yeah. There's a couple of them hanging, like, remember, in a sports bar in 19.

[Chick McGee]

The what?

[Josh Arnold]

We got to throw them off the roof.

[Pat Godwin]

Rock and roll.

[Christy Lee]

We can play it again.

[Tom Griswold]

We throw TVs off.

[Chick McGee]

It had to be time to rock.

[Tom Griswold]

Is it time to rock?

[Josh Arnold]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, Very, very helpful.

[Josh Arnold]

And by the way, you don't have to say no.

[Chick McGee]

I can't.

[Josh Arnold]

You just say nothing, and we know it isn't time.

[Chick McGee]

This can't continue all morning after.

[Tom Griswold]

Jot has to stop. If he says nothing, that'll really derail the show. Again, no. Okay, let's get back to our letters. Love you guys. I'm a truck driver.

[Chick McGee]

Did you say it was letter time?

[Tom Griswold]

This is too mellow for letter time.

[Christy Lee]

It's perfect.

[Tom Griswold]

We need mellow. This is more like we're not rocking yet. This is news to make a to do list by. Let's see. Go clean the refrigerator. Yeah. Buy tampons for Zelda, my girlfriend.

[Chick McGee]

Wipe my prints off everything. Yeah, go ahead.

[Tom Griswold]

Love you guys. You make my mornings fly by. Oh, I loved it when Chick first started playing Skinner. Also, that's when the joke was funny. Then Josh said something.

[Chick McGee]

It might be time to rock. I went ahead and did it.

[Tom Griswold]

Ace.

[Chick McGee]

No, I know it's not okay. Ace is shaking his head. He's a legend in radio, and he's shaking his head no. Everybody got that.

[Tom Griswold]

Josh said something about chugging a Bud Light and jumping into a quarry.

[Josh Arnold]

Jumping off the dock. Yes. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I spit my coffee out. By the way, Joshua and Willie need to tour. I love it when you're together on the show.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, very nice. Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much, Matt.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, I guess I'm just chopped liver.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I guess you apparently.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Booked something else on the date I reserved.

[Willie Griswold]

No. When me, Pat and Josh do a show together, we play this really fun game where I go way too long. And then Josh has to do less time so Pat could do the time.

[Tom Griswold]

That he has to do.

[Willie Griswold]

Then everyone screams at each other.

[Josh Arnold]

I call it Between Two Divas.

[Pat Godwin]

I call it every time you perform, you go too long.

[Willie Griswold]

I never mean to. I do it every single time.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, here we go.

[Chick McGee]

But the important part is he doesn't mean to. Okay, come on.

[Tom Griswold]

This is. Do you guys ever eat weird combinations on a sandwich?

[Josh Arnold]

Okay, I'd like to hear what this person.

[Tom Griswold]

For example, my favorite sandwich is peanut butter and bologna. Also, Peanut butter and dill pickles. Have a good day. My dad used to always eat peanut butter and bacon on toast.

[Pat Godwin]

That sounds good.

[Christy Lee]

That sounds really good.

[Tom Griswold]

It's actually wonderful. That saltiness of the.

[Chick McGee]

Wait. Who did that?

[Tom Griswold]

My dad.

[Chick McGee]

Your dad.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you have any unusual family?

[Chick McGee]

I understand. I understand peanut butter and pickle a little bit. Because they're cucumbers. Right? That might be something.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I might try that.

[Chick McGee]

The bologna thing.

[Tom Griswold]

This is in the wake of yesterday's big story about the pickle juice. And I have been. I was told yesterday by somebody that that pickle juice thing on the sidelines is great. I'm sure that it's really good.

[Christy Lee]

Don't like pickles.

[Tom Griswold]

But apparently it's great for athletes.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, they're all electrolytes.

[Chick McGee]

They have pickle Joe, pickle juice push ups. Like Creamsicles.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And who is it? The Clawson people are coming out with a drink.

[Christy Lee]

You can buy a six pack of.

[Tom Griswold]

It of pickle juice. Do you drink that cold or warm?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

I would think it's a big bar thing.

[Pat Godwin]

Pickleball. Jameson.

[Tom Griswold]

Pickleback.

[Josh Arnold]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Was that your drink of choice?

[Pat Godwin]

No.

[Christy Lee]

All of them.

[Josh Arnold]

Done.

[Tom Griswold]

Now.

[Chick McGee]

Is your mouth watering?

[Tom Griswold]

Back in the day. Back in the day. What was your drink of choice?

[Pat Godwin]

Double Jameson. And I would nurse a beer.

[Tom Griswold]

Double Jameson. Do you throw it back?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

That's how you get there.

[Tom Griswold]

Quick.

[Josh Arnold]

I love those.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I put the song how you remind me on the jukebox and then I have one of those. It's a Nickelback. Pickleback. It's pretty great.

[Tom Griswold]

Bravo. You don't think that redeems him from.

[Josh Arnold]

And then I. I take the shot and I throw it on the ground and I leave. And everybody just cheers and cheers.

[Pat Godwin]

I like you. I said sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

This is.

[Christy Lee]

You have heard that song. Man.

[Pat Godwin]

You see a photo on the wall.

[Tom Griswold]

Look at that photograph. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I punch it and I leave.

[Tom Griswold]

And everybody Nickelback. For some reason that I don't understand became okay.

[Christy Lee]

I like.

[Josh Arnold]

I. I agree. Tom. I. I think they rock pretty hard.

[Chick McGee]

Disagree.

[Tom Griswold]

They're certainly okay. They're not. They became the go to terrible band when they're right.

[Christy Lee]

It wasn't fair.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

It was kind of a fun punchline for a while.

[Pat Godwin]

I like that rock star song.

[Christy Lee]

Me too.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Exactly. That was fun.

[Chick McGee]

What you gonna do?

[Pat Godwin]

I liked it.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a.

[Chick McGee]

That's a heartbeat away from Dicky Goodman and Mr. Jaws. What you gonna do? Mr.

[Josh Arnold]

Jaws it. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. I like it too. I'm with you.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I just. It's for some reason that became the go to.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Bad band.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

And Nickelback and Dane Cook took a beating for about five years. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

One day. Never do to anybody.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I think it's just because these. These folks get so popular that people go, oh, we need to knock them down.

[Christy Lee]

Exactly.

[Pat Godwin]

The American way.

[Christy Lee]

People love to hate.

[Tom Griswold]

I see. Oh, we know that.

[Pat Godwin]

I have the number one album now and people are just.

[Josh Arnold]

I saw that your apartment was spray paint.

[Tom Griswold]

I know.

[Chick McGee]

I know.

[Josh Arnold]

It's out of control. Bad. I. I have a name for your next album.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Because of the dog. Apartment Poo.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay, let me think it through.

[Tom Griswold]

Apparently it's not time to rock.

[Christy Lee]

Apparently not.

[Josh Arnold]

Or joke.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't you guys. This is your.

[Christy Lee]

All of your faults.

[Josh Arnold]

You are right, chick.

[Chick McGee]

That he's unlawful locked.

[Josh Arnold]

Whatever he's talking.

[Tom Griswold]

Get comfortable.

[Chick McGee]

It's gonna be crap like this all morning.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm enjoying it.

[Chick McGee]

Apartment poo.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, if you're gonna.

[Chick McGee]

Instead of hotel pool.

[Tom Griswold]

Get it. Watch this. Oh, I didn't get the connection. Of course his dog craps.

[Josh Arnold]

Every day he talks about it.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know. But the current album is hotel pool.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And this would be apartment pool.

[Pat Godwin]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

I got it. And it still wasn't funny.

[Tom Griswold]

I got it. I prefer poop to poop. Pooh is Winnie. Poop is dog crap.

[Pat Godwin]

See, he hates the word poo.

[Josh Arnold]

We argue about this every time.

[Chick McGee]

I do. Like Winnie the Pooh.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, if you were stepping in. In poop.

[Chick McGee]

Happy Wednesday. Poo.

[Tom Griswold]

You'd be better off. At least if you had your orange insoles on because you wouldn't be hurting your back.

[Josh Arnold]

I think you're right. I think you're absolutely right. I would go, ah. Because it would be poop in the shoe, but orange insoles in the shoe. You see?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, we see.

[Josh Arnold]

Thank. Thank you. You want to hear about them? If you work on your feet all day, any day, you're putting stress on that body. Look, maybe you have some knee pain, back pain, hip pain. It could be because of your feet and that poor foundation you have due to that tiny flimsy liner inside your current shoe that's giving you zero support. Get rid of those and throw in some orange insoles. They offer arch support and a deep heel cup that work better to support your body, giving you better alignment and therefore alleviating the pain that you have. Orange insoles. Just released their brand new orange sport insole. It's the most athletic shoes lack true support. Whether you're walking, running, training, just moving around. You know how it is. Orange Sport can help you keep your body aligned so you can perform your best. They feature the new and exclusive O foam technology. This stuff's incredible. It's a thin, athletic profile for top performers. They offer three times the durability and 40% more energy return. So you're not gonna be wasting your energy out there. Find the right orange insole for you and every shoe. Work boots, dress shoes, sneakers, clown shoes, you name it. There's no cutting required. These insoles are true to size. They include sizes 15 and up. Horseshoes not yet included. They're developing, yeah. R D is on it.

[Tom Griswold]

How about sand sandals?

[Josh Arnold]

Sandals. If they can not yet.

[Tom Griswold]

Go to.

[Josh Arnold]

Orangeinsouls.Com today for free shipping. Plus, orange insoles come with a 60 day. We want you to be happy. Guarantee. That's orangeinsoles.com. feel better. Do more. They may just really help you with that discomfort.

[Tom Griswold]

People concentrate too much on the outside of their shoes. Hey, are those the flying Jordan brother? Fancy pantsy? No, no. It's the inside that count ounce. Get your orange insoles. And don't. And don't come to me telling Michael Jordan.

[Chick McGee]

Michael Jordan has a brother. Yeah, you said Jordan brother.

[Willie Griswold]

You gotta slow down, man.

[Chick McGee]

What were you trying to say over there?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, his brother, River. River. All right.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. I stand completely redeemed.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, There's a couple songs about him. Is It Time to Rock? Okay, thanks very much, Willie G. And our guest coming up, Sam Miller on the road, Peoria, the famous jukebox. It'll be a great time. Coming up Friday and Saturday. We've got bananas in the news. We've got some cool stuff coming out of the news.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, we got another letter too.

[Tom Griswold]

And we got another Chuck Norris joke I hadn't heard before.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, big fan of the Chuck Norris joke.

[Tom Griswold]

Please send us all your Chuck Norris jokes. I love them. And something I've been saying for years has finally made the news.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no.

[Tom Griswold]

Right again. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, and this is the Bob and Tom Show. This episode is brought to you by Lifelock.

[Pat Godwin]

It's tax season and we're all a.

[Tom Griswold]

Bit tired of numbers, but here's one you need to $16.5 billion. That's how much the IRS flagged for possible identity fraud last year. Now, here's a good number. 100 million. That's how many data points Lifelock monitors every second. Second. If your identity is stolen, they'll fix it, guaranteed. Save up to 40% your first [e-mail] podcast terms apply.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. I've come to the end of me. Good morning, everyone. There's Christy Lee. There's Pat Godwin. Willie Griswold's here. Hey, there's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

Ace Cosby in that joke of the week on the way. Time or the day?

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Josh Arnold]

Time is on my side.

[Chick McGee]

I'm Chick McGee. And here's. Here's Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

That's your fault.

[Pat Godwin]

No, no.

[Josh Arnold]

Chick is the only one not to blame.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know what to do with that.

[Josh Arnold]

He encouraged us not to encourage Ace.

[Tom Griswold]

And then it's like, stuff that, like.

[Willie Griswold]

A homeless guy in a video game says, like when you walk up, too. Time is of the essence.

[Pat Godwin]

That guy's crazy.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't care for that Rolling Stones time song.

[Chick McGee]

No, I don't either. There's a lot of Stone songs. Which one?

[Tom Griswold]

Time. Yeah, that's a turd.

[Chick McGee]

It's 19th nervous breakdown.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay, so I'm not alone.

[Tom Griswold]

Ruby Tuesday. Dreadful.

[Josh Arnold]

I love 19th Nervous Breakdown.

[Pat Godwin]

I like Waiting on a Friend. I like that.

[Tom Griswold]

Hate that stoner's answer anthem. I love it. Worst video ever made.

[Pat Godwin]

I like throwing St. Mark's Place.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

How do you feel about Keith?

[Tom Griswold]

Can you give me 10 minutes to make a video for MTV? Sure. I'll smoke.

[Chick McGee]

No, no. Keith sings through and through. That's a good one.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Willie Griswold]

I love Sympathy for the Devil.

[Josh Arnold]

Of course.

[Willie Griswold]

Allow me to introduce myself. If I heard that for the first time today, I don't think I would like it. Like, knowing the context of the song, does that make sense?

[Josh Arnold]

Sense?

[Willie Griswold]

It just sounds that part. I have to get through that part.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a good one. Angie is the worst song.

[Chick McGee]

Don't mind Angie.

[Tom Griswold]

I climb down the ladder. I'm painting a house. Angie comes on. I don't care what it is. I'm down the ladder. Turn it off.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, hey, look, it's another letter.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you ready?

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Letter time. Yesterday, you folks were talking about Lancelot Link. Secret champ.

[Tom Griswold]

I had never seen it. It's amazing. They have these chimpanzees.

[Josh Arnold]

They're wearing suits, fake mustaches, and Stu. Unbelievable.

[Christy Lee]

Smoking chopsticks better than I do.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And I'm sure that the. The backstory or behind the scenes has to be horrific and terrible for these.

[Chick McGee]

Animals, but do we have a picture of Lance Link? I think. I don't know if Willie's aware of this show or not.

[Christy Lee]

Are you. Are you aware of Lancelot Links?

[Willie Griswold]

You got to tell me Everything about it is.

[Tom Griswold]

It.

[Chick McGee]

It's a Saturday morning.

[Tom Griswold]

Real chimpanzees.

[Christy Lee]

It was 1972.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a chimpanzee driving a car, wearing a.

[Willie Griswold]

That's all I need.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, it's.

[Willie Griswold]

I'll watch the whole show.

[Chick McGee]

Well, Jay in Boise says. Well, I immediately had to Google the show and I found episodes on YouTube. I'm a tow truck driver in Boise, Idaho, and found myself setting my phone on the dash watching Lancelot link secret chip.

[Josh Arnold]

I. I knew. I knew that's what tow truck drivers are doing while you wait four hours.

[Chick McGee]

I got into so much much when. When I get out of my truck, I pause the show so I didn't miss the storyline.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Lancelot link secret chip.

[Willie Griswold]

You really got to follow the show. Otherwise, you have no idea.

[Josh Arnold]

Arc is, Is really dense.

[Christy Lee]

It was. It's unbelievable. They have all. Every character is a real live gym banzee.

[Willie Griswold]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But I mean, you can imagine they had to do 300 takes.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Probably like lot of cattle.

[Christy Lee]

I think it was a lot of bananas. And they were having fun.

[Josh Arnold]

I think it was reverse engineered.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, they would film them, then write a script.

[Josh Arnold]

I think, kind in a way.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

The thing where the chimp is. Is literally using chopsticks and eating. I mean, how do they teach a chimp to.

[Christy Lee]

They're very smart.

[Pat Godwin]

They got glue in their hands. Baby.

[Christy Lee]

No, because you. I mean, if you see was pretty incredible.

[Pat Godwin]

I can't hear.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, there are many things you can for facts. After yesterday, I can't discuss that on the air. Pat will no longer be allowed to speak around me.

[Pat Godwin]

One mistake.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Okay. Let's just move forward. Not going to tell the story.

[Chick McGee]

Dear people.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Good Thursday morning to you. My name's Sean. I'm from Oklahoma City. And can you tell me the names of the Bob and Tom radio show crew? True. Evidently they don't know.

[Christy Lee]

I think he's being.

[Josh Arnold]

I think this is a joke based on the fact that you did yesterday and then Tom did immediately afterwards. There's apparently a reason.

[Chick McGee]

Is this sarcasm? I was looking on the bright side. That's what I get for being optimistic.

[Pat Godwin]

I repeated it one time.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. No, I repeated. It's a technical issue.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. I, I, we really need that to be explained to us because we're. We simply don't believe you.

[Tom Griswold]

You're. You're. No, no.

[Pat Godwin]

Doctor.

[Willie Griswold]

If he wants you to shut up, he'll say that it's. You don't understand it or there's a lawyer involved.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Christy Lee]

If you're gonna do that. Just don't have Chick do it.

[Josh Arnold]

Exactly.

[Christy Lee]

It makes zero sense.

[Chick McGee]

You can't do this show without Chick.

[Tom Griswold]

Hang on a second.

[Chick McGee]

What the hell's going on?

[Christy Lee]

You still get to speak.

[Tom Griswold]

Try doing it and see. Do it your way. Go ahead, introduce everybody.

[Chick McGee]

Well, I can't do it without the music.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, a man needs his tools.

[Pat Godwin]

It's a time to rock.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, what the hell is this?

[Tom Griswold]

The music. Is the music coming?

[Josh Arnold]

This Philip Glass.

[Chick McGee]

Is this something you produced?

[Willie Griswold]

It comes in slow.

[Tom Griswold]

I think it kicks in at 10 seconds.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. It must be the music. My reflex.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, the timing actually works out here.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. Hey, good.

[Chick McGee]

There's Chrissy at the Silac Insurance news desk. There's Pat Godwin causing trouble. There's Willie Griswold.

[Willie Griswold]

Good morning.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

That's Ace Cosby. And that joke of the day is coming up. Huh? You are my buddy. All right, I'm Chick McGee and here's Tom Griswold.

[Tom Griswold]

If you're just joining us, welcome to the Bob and Tom show. We're coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Chick McGee is sitting right over there. You can see him. And Chick McGee is at the orangeinsouls.com sports desk.

[Chick McGee]

Let's do this.

[Tom Griswold]

Forgot to say that. And then Josh Arnold, of course, is sitting right over there. Ace Cosby has the sleep number joke of the day on the way. Willie G. Is here in the studio with us. This is Tom speaking. And did I get everybody covered? Oh, Christy Lee, of course, is at.

[Christy Lee]

The Silac Insurance and Pat Godwin.

[Tom Griswold]

I already said Pat.

[Chick McGee]

Well, you're on. I already said everybody. But you said everybody.

[Pat Godwin]

What's the point in repeating it?

[Tom Griswold]

Because these segments are separated in a different version of the program which any idiot would have figured out if they'd been at the meeting. Okay, let's move forward.

[Josh Arnold]

What we just did isn't really what happened.

[Chick McGee]

See what you really. You got a. Hundreds of fans at Tokyo's airport lined up 10 deep hoping to catch a glimpse of show. Hey, Ohtani. As he arrived to Tokyo. But they saw nothing of the Dodgers superstar. What they did see was a 40 meter long, about 130 foot temporary white wall to shield the players in case they came through the arrival area to keep them from prying eyes of fans.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, come on.

[Chick McGee]

The Cubs exited the same way when they arrived late Wednesday night there in Tokyo for the two game set over there in Japan that sorry. Tokyo, March 18th. March 19th?

[Tom Griswold]

Didn't guns n Roses do that at Farm Aid? They make them build a wall so they could walk in the hallway.

[Sam Miller]

That's not quite true.

[Josh Arnold]

They just separated themselves from the.

[Tom Griswold]

Everyone okay. All right. I just remember appearing. They had to build a wall for them or something.

[Josh Arnold]

If you were on a big bill at a festival and somebody went, hey, Axl Rose wants to be left alone, wouldn't you go, terrific?

[Chick McGee]

So what you're saying is I don't have to put up with actual. Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

They want their own green room. Great.

[Chick McGee]

There's already been a hole in one at TPC Sawgrass down there in fla. Before the first round of the Players Championship Tees off later today. Or it might have started teeing off already. Column or cow Was caddy one of the favorites. Jj Jackovac hit an ace.

[Tom Griswold]

Boy, doesn't Jackovac sound like a new thing?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Not only can it clean my room, it can get me off.

[Josh Arnold]

It sucks the carpet and then you.

[Tom Griswold]

It's Jackovac.

[Chick McGee]

I gotta. I gotta admit, I did not really read this carefully enough to realize his last name was Jackovac. I would have.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Josh Arnold]

Anyway, well, you ought to know by.

[Chick McGee]

Now, he's the caddy. And I believe we have a video of him hitting his hole in one, and the place went bananas. Jackavaca notched an ace during the caddy competition yesterday. Jackavac and other caddies playing a closest to the pin event on hole number 17 at the stadium course. He stepped into the tee box. His shot landed just beyond the hole, spun back into the cup. It's in the hole there.

[Josh Arnold]

Tee box. Awesome.

[Tom Griswold]

There's.

[Chick McGee]

There's.

[Christy Lee]

Over the water.

[Josh Arnold]

There he goes over the water.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you're right, Christy.

[Chick McGee]

That's hard.

[Josh Arnold]

What is that? Over the water?

[Chick McGee]

Bang.

[Tom Griswold]

That's over the water, Josh. Not everyone can see it, so we're trying to do the.

[Josh Arnold]

If you can't see it, we're going to say it six times.

[Pat Godwin]

Just so you know, it's a radio show.

[Josh Arnold]

We're watching videos.

[Tom Griswold]

That's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Somebody may just tuned in. Somebody may have just tuned in. Somebody may have just tuned in.

[Willie Griswold]

You got to say our names again, quick.

[Pat Godwin]

I forgot my name.

[Tom Griswold]

That's fine.

[Josh Arnold]

That's fine, isn't it, Tom? Yeah, that's pretty rad.

[Chick McGee]

I think you're doing a great job.

[Christy Lee]

I didn't say a word during that. I. I just want to get.

[Tom Griswold]

I just want to get the Jack you back. Now, is that.

[Pat Godwin]

Does that have.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that a. Batteries or is it one of those things you plug into your computer?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, usb. Typically that's the way to go.

[Willie Griswold]

Like a vape.

[Chick McGee]

And remember our story from yesterday? The naughty baseball caps?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. Oh. Have you shown these to Willie? These are the best.

[Chick McGee]

I believe we have a picture of the. The most.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you have a close up?

[Chick McGee]

Unbelievable. Obscene of offender. The Texas. Texas Rangers hat. It was pulled from New Eras teams and the Rangers team store. It's evidently vulgar slang.

[Tom Griswold]

There it is.

[Chick McGee]

The Texas Rangers didn't waste much time discontinuing the sale of these hats. Inadvertently emblazoned with the Spanish vulgarity for breasts on a woman.

[Tom Griswold]

And again. What are these called? Over stamp. What is the.

[Chick McGee]

They're called New Era released a line of Shadow hats is what it's called. Designed for every Major League baseball team. I'm just reading it. Right?

[Tom Griswold]

Don't read it, explain.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I didn't write that.

[Tom Griswold]

That makes no sense. No one calls shadow.

[Chick McGee]

Got me? They stop selling. My point is there are. What. What do you think's happened now in this? That their hats are no longer available.

[Tom Griswold]

They're probably on eBay for $100,000. Nope.

[Chick McGee]

They're on eBay for $1,000. That's right. One person sold those for $1,500. Another one for 1300. Approximately a 2120% return on their investment.

[Tom Griswold]

Explain that here. The Athletic explains it. They're overlap hats.

[Josh Arnold]

Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

In which the franchise logo. On top of the franchise logo they put the so called word mark. So they put the Texas.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, they put Texas on the hat. And then they put the logo, the T over the.

[Tom Griswold]

And so it happens to land over the X so it looks like it says the Spanish language vulgarity for. Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

[Chick McGee]

But that's not the only problem. That's not the only problem. The hat that had a problem. The Astro was a problem.

[Tom Griswold]

One of them said a hobby.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, that was a problem.

[Josh Arnold]

Astros inadvertently said that. What was the other one?

[Tom Griswold]

I forgot?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, anals.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, that's the Angels.

[Josh Arnold]

Kind of looks like.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, that's pretty much on nose, right? California. A lot of anuses.

[Josh Arnold]

Anals in the outfield.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, sure. Oh, anus in the outfield.

[Josh Arnold]

Right. Anals in the outfield.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, anal's in the outfield. I like that very, very much. Yeah. So they're now on ebay. Why don't they just keep selling them?

[Josh Arnold]

I know, they're crazy. Just.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know why.

[Tom Griswold]

Why pull them from the store?

[Josh Arnold]

No one's complaining about that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they're funny.

[Chick McGee]

Matthew Stafford revealed that former Rams star and some say the most dominant defensive end that's ever played now retired Aaron Donald once made a make a Wish recipient vomit.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no.

[Chick McGee]

Mr. Stafford shared a story on the New Heights podcast with Jason and Travis Kelsey, saying the high school age kid wanted to be with Aaron. Aaron Donald for a day. Made his dream come true. Thankfully, this kid at that point had kind of beaten the odds, had beaten the cancer and he had, I believe he was really on the mend. But Donald invited the kid to work out with him, Mr. Matt Stafford recalled. I look over and Donald is ripping curls. Well, what's the, what's the words? He's ripping curls out and next thing you know, this kid is puking in the trash can.

[Josh Arnold]

It was a tough workout.

[Chick McGee]

Kyle Frazier was the make a wish recipient from that day. And later tweete he'll never forget his training session with Aaron Dunn.

[Josh Arnold]

Down goes Frazier, huh?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, nice.

[Chick McGee]

He's currently the make a whisk kid. Kyle Frazier, he's an offensive lineman at Georgia Southern College.

[Josh Arnold]

That's all amazing. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So he beat the cancer and now he's a great athlete.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

If you see. I went and looked up the picture, this kid, he's not a kid. He's, you know, he's pretty big.

[Josh Arnold]

Sure, sure.

[Chick McGee]

So, but that's, there are big kids.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a great size.

[Chick McGee]

He's a kid.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there you go. But I mean, he's like still growing.

[Josh Arnold]

17 and, and good, good on Donald. That's a great thing.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. So a happy, a nice, a nice happy ending. But. Yeah. Puking in the, puking in the locker room.

[Josh Arnold]

Have you ever puked working out? Well, like in your football days.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So yours was dry heaving.

[Chick McGee]

Like, I grew up in a farm area, a lot of fine. So there were grain silos everywhere. And we would, we would. Our practice field was next to us and you'd go, go, go back behind the silo and you'd drive back on the field.

[Tom Griswold]

The smell of silage.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that can get.

[Tom Griswold]

That is, that is bad.

[Christy Lee]

I throw up, you're gone. I'm not going back to you to work out painters that make me throw up. No.

[Tom Griswold]

Running cross country, you'd have occasionally have to, you know, avoid, avoid the puke puddle. And every once in a while, you'd be getting behind a guy.

[Chick McGee]

Once again, Tom's chosen sport was the sport that everyone chooses for punishment.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Run a thousand laps.

[Josh Arnold]

Tough.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Oh, well, I'm Glad. This is a great story. I'm glad this kid's doing, doing so well.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

A little known fact about Chick McGee coming up, a secret fact I don't share with everyone. Oh, it has to do with today's world record.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay, it's coming up.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, we got, it's a. We got doggies in the news and a very unusual story about how you're being manipulated at the grocery store.

[Josh Arnold]

I knew it. I knew it.

[Chick McGee]

That's all they want is my money.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, okay. Oh, that's.

[Chick McGee]

They're making enough money they don't need to charge me for these all gratin potatoes.

[Tom Griswold]

A couple, a couple quick points here. Let's see now, coming up, comedian Sam Miller will be joining us. Sam and Willie G are on their way to Peoria's famous Jukebox Comedy Club for some shows Friday and Saturday. Pat Godwin's album, are we still hovering at number one?

[Pat Godwin]

We are at number one.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good. The album is called Hotel Pool.

[Christy Lee]

Will we hear a song from you today? No.

[Tom Griswold]

It's part one. It's part one of the trilogy. Hotel Pool, Apartment Poop, and what's the third one gonna be? I know it's gonna be called. It's Time to Rock with Pat God. Strictly Strictly instrumentals. One of the great comedy albums of all time. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Sam Miller]

There's more of the show coming up. Book your next vacation with Christy Lee and Colette. Visit England, Scotland and Wales this September 28th. Visit bobandtom.com for details. This is the Bob and Tom show. No Contest Wrestling, where O'Shea Jackson Jr. And TJ Jefferson bring their hot takes with the biggest names in the game. Ladies and gentlemen, Bron Breakker.

[Tom Griswold]

Welcome to the My aspirations in life.

[Chick McGee]

I always wanted to be a WWE superstar.

[Sam Miller]

The prodigy Roxanne Perez. I gotta talk about the hugger cosplay.

[Christy Lee]

I mean, it was perfect, wasn't it?

[Tom Griswold]

La Knight?

[Sam Miller]

What am I doing here? I can retire.

[Pat Godwin]

See, everybody.

[Sam Miller]

The no Contest Wrestling Podcast, part of the Rich Eisen Podcast Network. Follow and listen on your favorite platform Tuesday.

[Tom Griswold]

Good night.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Hello, Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello, Chick Miggy.

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin. Hey, Chick. There's Willie Griswold.

[Willie Griswold]

What's up, man?

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Chick.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby. Time to make the donuts. They're time to make the donuts. I'm Chick McGee at the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Chick McGee. It's great to see you guys.

[Chick McGee]

Got our world record coming up and.

[Tom Griswold]

Got another Chuck Norris joke.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

And I've asked people, please send me your shuck, Doris. I love them. I love them more than anything.

[Josh Arnold]

Let me break my headphones.

[Willie Griswold]

A message board in 2008.

[Josh Arnold]

We've been trying to tell.

[Tom Griswold]

Tell them it really has been.

[Chick McGee]

Really has been.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, you don't like Chuck Norris jokes.

[Josh Arnold]

No, I do hate them. I do like them. But, yeah, way loud.

[Chick McGee]

That might have been real good.

[Josh Arnold]

But we've gotten to the point, Willie, where all the only response we can get. Oh, yeah, Chuck Norris.

[Willie Griswold]

Yo Mama. They've all got, you know.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, how about that?

[Chick McGee]

Yo Mama's so fat. How about that? Do those.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, look, look. Stupid world.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a minute, wait a minute. I'm getting something in my headphones. Apparently, there's something coming in on the satellite. Can you look at the big screen?

[Chick McGee]

It's Ed Septic. That's right. Ed Septic here. AKA your wife's favorite plumber.

[Josh Arnold]

AKA Coach Tony Plungy. AKA Captain Plunge Poo. Captain Plunge a poo. I'm back from vacation and at your service. I was down in the Dominican Republic.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, wow.

[Josh Arnold]

Ye rough. I'd never been to a Turd World country before.

[Chick McGee]

First thing, there's signs everywhere.

[Josh Arnold]

Don't flush your used toilet paper.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Though I found out if you give it a good eight or nine flushes, it'll go down. Yeah, I got tired of folding it.

[Chick McGee]

Up and putting in my back pocket.

[Josh Arnold]

Man, that place was a real crap hole. At least in Jamaica they let you smoke weed. They have the decency to get you high enough that you don't notice all the poverty on your ride to and from the resort.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's good.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah, that can be tricky, man.

[Josh Arnold]

The roads in the Dominican are crazy. The food's just not good. The only good thing about the Dominican are all the big booty babes on the beach. Man, they got a shelf that could.

[Chick McGee]

Hold three to four elf.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, Willie.

[Josh Arnold]

They got an ass that'll swallow up a G string in their head. Hand a glass of Riesling.

[Willie Griswold]

Tell me all about it.

[Josh Arnold]

Good Lord, they got so much junk. They got two trunks.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Josh Arnold]

They got junks in both they trunks.

[Tom Griswold]

Big, big ass. Oh, man.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, Bob and Tom, I gotta run. That's Yolanda, my new Dominican girlfriend, beeping in, so I'm gonna head out.

[Sam Miller]

Nice.

[Josh Arnold]

Don't forget all the whole month. St. Patrick's Day special.

[Tom Griswold]

Special.

[Josh Arnold]

92.99. I'll come out and clean your drains.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, wow.

[Josh Arnold]

For 192.99 I'll do your wife while you watch.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a deal.

[Josh Arnold]

Boy, that's quite a. Quite a sale.

[Tom Griswold]

And septic. You must have gotten really high. Well, speaking of St. Patrick's Day.

[Christy Lee]

Yes?

[Tom Griswold]

We haven't a heard a song from Patty G. Do you have a St. Patrick's Day tribute?

[Pat Godwin]

I think I might have a St. Patrick's Day.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I'm sorry. I knew. Who were you? You?

[Pat Godwin]

I am.

[Chick McGee]

You might know that Pat's Irish. Have you ever heard anything about that?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. Patio furniture.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's all I can think of.

[Josh Arnold]

Normally play outdoors.

[Pat Godwin]

St. Patrick. I'm trying to start here. Check.

[Josh Arnold]

Aren't you Patty Cash?

[Pat Godwin]

Patty Cash?

[Willie Griswold]

That's right.

[Pat Godwin]

Works much better. You cut me off guard the entire St. Patrick's days for amateurs. Supposes market calendars. I am not even Irish. And you don't know how to drink. I am a dumb professional when it comes to drinking alcohol. I take St. Patty's Day off. Cause for me the whole day stinks. You're wearing a stupid T shirt that says Kiss me. I myself. But your name is Vicky Plushinski and your beer's a stupid green. St. Patrick's days for amateurs. So back off Jack and Kramit.

[Tom Griswold]

Sir.

[Pat Godwin]

I like to pace myself. No one here knows how to drink. I party hard out here and I only drink brown beer. And I take St. Patty's days off. Cause I'm in rehab. Oh, the clink.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much.

[Pat Godwin]

Thank you very much.

[Tom Griswold]

Patty Cash. Very good. Nice to see you. Now, I believe we were in the middle of something resembling a sports cast, but we have our world record. I've asked for Chuck Norris jokes.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much.

[Willie Griswold]

We can just all walk out, right?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, we could.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, this is a quick one.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

All right. Dear Bob and Tom. First of all, I'm sorry. Writes corporation. Knowing that no one will like this joke but me. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. Now they're simply known as the Islands.

[Josh Arnold]

There you go. Yeah, how about that?

[Willie Griswold]

An eighth grader told me that at the lunch table. Yes, that's real. I'm not trying to be mean. I remember the day when I learned that joke.

[Josh Arnold]

If only you'd done that before you read it. And we're also an epis marching. Corey.

[Willie Griswold]

No, I appreciate you writing in.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Corey's simply doing what Tom asked.

[Chick McGee]

There's the world record.

[Josh Arnold]

Thank you.

[Chick McGee]

Hundreds of wiener dogs.

[Tom Griswold]

A. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I am scared of wiener dogs.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Chick McGee]

I. They wig me out.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Chick McGee]

I'd rather cigarettes and wiener dogs.

[Christy Lee]

But you're okay with corgi?

[Chick McGee]

With corgis? I'm okay with. I'm pretty much okay with every other. Every other dog that's walking around.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you like the little. The miniature dachshunds?

[Chick McGee]

No, I don't like the longhead dachshund.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh no.

[Chick McGee]

I don't like any of the cocktail dachshund.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a minute.

[Christy Lee]

Wait a minute.

[Tom Griswold]

How about the ones that they dress up in? The little hot dog suits you can get for them?

[Chick McGee]

That'd probably be the closest. That's very funny. I can see their. Their pointy snouts, I think.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, they're so smooth.

[Chick McGee]

It reminds me of my first wife. Pointy snout.

[Tom Griswold]

Yikes.

[Chick McGee]

Hatchet face. 897 dachshunds. Or do you say dachshunds? Okay. They took part in the.

[Tom Griswold]

That's.

[Josh Arnold]

That's.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a valid question.

[Chick McGee]

Successful record attempt in the town dedicated to the breed. The medieval town and UNESCO world heritage site is home to the Dackel Museum. Dackel meaning dachshund. The biggest sausage celebrity in attendance at this event was a gigantic parade float in the shape of a black dachshund wearing lederhosen. When asked why they started the parade, it was his husband Oliver Storr said he wanted to try and bring some joy to people. People in trying times. So they celebrate the dachshund.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

World's largest dachshund wall.

[Tom Griswold]

You call a group of dachshunds.

[Christy Lee]

What do you call them?

[Tom Griswold]

A schnitzel.

[Christy Lee]

I didn't know that.

[Chick McGee]

Only that. What is schnitzel? Isn't it like a veal?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, very good.

[Josh Arnold]

It is good.

[Tom Griswold]

Nice little. Little fried and.

[Chick McGee]

But doesn't schnitzel sound like a pastry?

[Christy Lee]

It does.

[Chick McGee]

Like a cream filled strudel.

[Tom Griswold]

Strudel's the pastry. Schnitzel is the. Is the delicious pounded meat.

[Josh Arnold]

And the benzel is the doughy. Yeah, that's good. Right? Right.

[Chick McGee]

Now what's a Bismarck?

[Josh Arnold]

A Bismarck. The beatboxer is a Long john, isn't it?

[Chick McGee]

It's a long job.

[Tom Griswold]

I just got lost.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh yeah.

[Chick McGee]

What about Bismarckie Beatboxer?

[Josh Arnold]

I love biz Markey.

[Chick McGee]

You got what I did? He did.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm completely lost.

[Chick McGee]

Did he die?

[Josh Arnold]

I believe Bismarck.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Now there were 800 and so and.

[Chick McGee]

So docs almost 900.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, but there were A thousand buns. Isn't that always the way?

[Chick McGee]

Now there's some quality.

[Willie Griswold]

Is somebody gonna fix it?

[Tom Griswold]

Breaking up a hack concept like that and making it funnier. Congratulations. 900 wiener dogs.

[Chick McGee]

But a thousand, the largest dachshund walk.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you see this?

[Chick McGee]

You ever tried to eat a schnitzel?

[Tom Griswold]

Huh? Wow. They're sweet looking little doggies.

[Chick McGee]

Sure, they're Hounds of the devil.

[Christy Lee]

I like the long haired ones.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow, there's some complicated names in this story.

[Christy Lee]

It's German.

[Tom Griswold]

Seppi Kublek.

[Josh Arnold]

Weird name for a dog.

[Chick McGee]

Yo yo, Sepi.

[Christy Lee]

That is weird name for a dog. I agree.

[Chick McGee]

Seppy, did you leave the stove on?

[Tom Griswold]

His husband, Oliver Storrs with a Z.

[Chick McGee]

Well, if you say the words with this type accent, they're German.

[Tom Griswold]

You talk like this.

[Josh Arnold]

There are two dachshunds.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a minute. German, Swedish.

[Josh Arnold]

Two dachshunds in my family. My brother Jeff and his family have two dachshunds and they're kind of furry named.

[Christy Lee]

They're long haired ones.

[Josh Arnold]

Mocha and spookums.

[Tom Griswold]

Anyone? You know something? It's break time.

[Pat Godwin]

All right.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh yeah, those are their names.

[Tom Griswold]

One of them is white and one is black.

[Josh Arnold]

No way.

[Chick McGee]

Lunatic.

[Pat Godwin]

Way to go, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

Not my. They're very cute. They better be.

[Chick McGee]

We'll be back with more from the Bob and Tom show as we're experiencing technical difficulties. We'll be right back. Tom, take us to break, shall we?

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry.

[Josh Arnold]

Please.

[Pat Godwin]

I need this job.

[Chick McGee]

I will be right.

[Tom Griswold]

We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Sam Miller]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Catch any part of the show you missed later today on our YouTube channel?

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the SILAC Insurance news desk. There's Pat Godwin. Hello. There's Willie Griswold.

[Josh Arnold]

Good morning.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Ace Cosby. Joke of the day coming up. Or did I?

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's coming up, guys.

[Chick McGee]

Coming up. Yeah, I'm Chick McGee at the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. I've got one more ladder here, actually.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's hear it.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, guys. Love listening to you as I drive into work every morning.

[Josh Arnold]

Thank you.

[Chick McGee]

This must be some sort of military situation. I thought you'd get a kick out of knowing that when you started playing Word up by Cameo earlier year I was driving through the security guards on my base. She started dancing and said it was a great way to Start her morning.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. In other words, instead of listening to this show, she should go listen to word up. Is that what you're saying?

[Christy Lee]

Well, don't encourage people not to listen.

[Josh Arnold]

We were the guard.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, the guard heard it on our show, and that's what she said.

[Willie Griswold]

I like to imagine that guard going, hey, what are you listening to? And then he goes, oh, the Bob and Tom Show. And she's expecting more of word up.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. To whatever we have going on. Jeez.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

I have a letter from Brian in Dayton. Bob and Tom Show. Hi, Christy. Well, hi, Brian. When I got married, my wife surprised me when she put peanut butter on a hot dog. Oh, I thought she was nuts till I tried it. I eat hot dogs like this quite often. She said it was called a Wisconsin hot dog.

[Chick McGee]

Huh.

[Christy Lee]

I've never heard of such a thing, but all right, Brian.

[Pat Godwin]

Was she blindfolded?

[Josh Arnold]

Why do you ask that?

[Pat Godwin]

Because maybe the peanut butter was.

[Tom Griswold]

Pat's doing his own show. No, seriously now. What is that in English? How does that joke work in English?

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know.

[Pat Godwin]

I bombed.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, you put peanut butter on.

[Christy Lee]

Lottie says he eats grilled cheese sandwiches with sweet and midget pickles in the. In the side of them, and it's the greatest thing ever. A little.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I've heard of that.

[Josh Arnold]

Pickle dwarfs, please.

[Tom Griswold]

And we had. I told you. My dad did peanut butter and bacon. And our first letter right. Did peanut butter and bologna, which Baloney is pretty close to a hot dog.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, true.

[Josh Arnold]

It's a hot dog pancake. Did you know that I get.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, I'm thinking. Oh, you mean. I mean, baloney is. Baloney is a hot dog pancake. Thank you.

[Chick McGee]

I've never heard the. The Wisconsin angle for it.

[Christy Lee]

I haven't either.

[Chick McGee]

And I've spent a lot of time in Wisconsin. Never heard that. I heard a Minnesota hot dish. That's like a protein and any.

[Tom Griswold]

You ever have a Cleveland steamer?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, Tom.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, I have.

[Josh Arnold]

Right to poop.

[Chick McGee]

I certainly have.

[Christy Lee]

I certainly shut him up.

[Chick McGee]

You wouldn't.

[Tom Griswold]

You wouldn't need one of those, would you?

[Chick McGee]

You ever give somebody a peanut butter hot dog in a blindfold?

[Willie Griswold]

You ever do that?

[Tom Griswold]

Nice call back.

[Chick McGee]

You ever do that?

[Tom Griswold]

You ever wonder what a hot brown is?

[Josh Arnold]

Those are good.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Open faced sandwich with gravy and ton.

[Josh Arnold]

Of cheese stuff and chucky hot brown.

[Willie Griswold]

That was a minute at the Brown Hotel, Right? That's the lore behind it. I'm staying at the Brown Hotel for a wedding next weekend. I think I'm gonna Eat one day of the.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

It's impossible to eat just one.

[Willie Griswold]

Sweaty on the dance floor.

[Josh Arnold]

Diarrhea on the dance floor.

[Chick McGee]

Ask them if they serve blumpkins too. Ask them.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, they may.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Blumpkins are in season.

[Tom Griswold]

I see. By the way, earlier this morning we played a special tribute. Did anyone notice that Mary said the Smashing Pumpkins?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I did.

[Tom Griswold]

God, that made me laugh. Made me smile so sweet. Now, Pat, you got your guitar out. I assume you have a song for us.

[Pat Godwin]

We were talking about Hot Browns. I was trying to think if I remember the chord changes.

[Tom Griswold]

To what?

[Josh Arnold]

He has a song, he has a tribute. So the question becomes to killing me softly.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you remember the chord changes?

[Pat Godwin]

I could give it a shot. I may screw it up. You guys will all heck of me. Heckle me.

[Josh Arnold]

I'll heckle you for saying hecka.

[Chick McGee]

I'm gonna heckle you and heckle you.

[Christy Lee]

Do you need a n?

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

3, 2, 1.

[Josh Arnold]

Do it again.

[Tom Griswold]

3, 2.

[Pat Godwin]

Hot brown supper in the city Turkey bacon, ham but don't look pretty Lots of gravy, Not a little bit. It's a favorite of the Louisville city Gravy all around Slices of bread Large piece of turkey bigger than your head but at night your tummy aches Lay down that hot brown bakes Come on, go all night Squeeze those cheeks real tight It's a bummer it ain't pretty after supper in the city I just wasted your time no, we love that. Give it a shot. Just pick up the guitar.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that sounded nice there in the beginning. Let's. Let's move on. We have Christy, Christy Lee at the Silac insurance news desk. What's happening?

[Christy Lee]

Well, we've been talking about food. Let's stay with that topic. Researchers say shoppers can be made to feel sorry for single banana bananas and tend to buy them.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, not. No way. What?

[Chick McGee]

A banana all alone.

[Christy Lee]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

Now listen to this. This is a scientific experiment. This is fascinating.

[Christy Lee]

They placed a sign in front of a banana bearing a frown and the message, quote, we are sad singles and want to be bought as well.

[Josh Arnold]

This doesn't count at all.

[Christy Lee]

They also tested a non empathetic sign that simply labeled the fruit as singles wanting to be bought. Shoppers appeared to be moved by the emotional sign, with sales in single bananas increasing nearly 60% compared to the new rigged study.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah, this is dumb.

[Christy Lee]

The study titled anthropomorphic Sad expressions reduce waste of Single Imperfect food. And it was published in the journal Psychology and Marketing.

[Josh Arnold]

You don't think it's fashionable because most grocery stores don't do this. Yeah. They don't display that way.

[Willie Griswold]

Also, if this is an issue, just take the single bananas and then put them at the coffee shop. In the grocery store. Like, why do.

[Tom Griswold]

What's.

[Willie Griswold]

They're going to be fine.

[Tom Griswold]

No, but the point is, they're. You're. They're anthropomorphizing it. In other words, it's like a little smiley face.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's. I'm gonna put this in terms you'd understand.

[Josh Arnold]

Please.

[Tom Griswold]

You're walking in the grocery store to be insulted. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Frozen pizza with a frowny.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no.

[Chick McGee]

You're eating a dar of chocolate.

[Tom Griswold]

No, there's a. There's a single slice of pizza with a smiley face saying, I need a home. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

There's no way I would just. Oh, look, a slice of pizza. Let me get that home.

[Tom Griswold]

Sw. Stomach. No, I mean, I think this is really interesting. It's a controlled experiment. They did the same thing with just a sign saying single bananas.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Same price. But when the single banana has a little frown on it.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. They're tugging at your heartstring.

[Tom Griswold]

They sell 60% more. There are bananas, for God's sake.

[Christy Lee]

I think they're.

[Chick McGee]

I think they're manipulating the scenario too much, the signage, and that's the whole point. Well, I don't know.

[Sam Miller]

I don't think.

[Christy Lee]

What's wrong with buying a single banana?

[Tom Griswold]

I thought it was a great story. And for you guys, apparently, it lacks appeal. Well.

[Christy Lee]

Well, we got.

[Josh Arnold]

We got some effort out of it. I mean, he put pen to paper there.

[Pat Godwin]

Greg Honda drum is what he did.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe they should try this on the dating apps. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

What a sad, lonely person.

[Josh Arnold]

A person with a frowny face going, I'm sad and single.

[Willie Griswold]

You kind of do the opposite. You kind of make them happy.

[Pat Godwin]

Hubris.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. You don't. You don't put something. If I don't get a little action, it's over.

[Pat Godwin]

No. A lot of line.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Guy sitting there next to a 9 millimeter on the table.

[Christy Lee]

Jeez, Tom.

[Willie Griswold]

Look, if you say no, this is it for me. Okay?

[Josh Arnold]

You understand that, right? You put that in your bio.

[Tom Griswold]

Which way is. Yes. Sweeping right or left?

[Willie Griswold]

Not sweeping. It's so funny watching. You've.

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Willie Griswold]

We've been talking about Tinder since 2011.

[Chick McGee]

Swiping.

[Tom Griswold]

Swiping. Right.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

There you go. You want janitor's meat?

[Pat Godwin]

My name is Tony.

[Tom Griswold]

I work at a grade school.

[Josh Arnold]

I've been looking for a little love.

[Chick McGee]

Charge 100.

[Tom Griswold]

Trouble has anybody started. Has anybody started a fake dating site with like, something like that? Probably where janitors meet and just see what would happen. Be sweet. Oh, well, so sorry. I thought the banana thing was fascinating. Yeah, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

You often think lame stories are fascinating.

[Chick McGee]

This isn't a new thing.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, no, but I mean, you're manipulated at the grocery store. They have all kinds of tricks.

[Josh Arnold]

But what we're arguing is you're not. That you're not often manipulated in this way at all. Most grocery stores don't put up.

[Christy Lee]

They don't do that.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah, I think it would be if it was a little bit more sinister. It's what I. I was expecting.

[Tom Griswold]

So let's. Let's say they had one of those.

[Chick McGee]

Is too overt for me.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's say they have one of those samples. Things where you're walking down the. The hall, down the aisle, and there's some super hot woman. Would you like a sample of, you know, new diarrhea juice? Look at her.

[Willie Griswold]

You gotta think for a second.

[Josh Arnold]

His point is. His point is that the product is so bad.

[Willie Griswold]

I understand that.

[Tom Griswold]

I under.

[Willie Griswold]

But I think just go for like a brand.

[Chick McGee]

But I don't think that has anything to do with the product. It's the hot woman.

[Josh Arnold]

Right. That's what. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

So if. If. If an ugly woman is selling the best grape juice you've ever had.

[Willie Griswold]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

And a hot woman selling diarrhea juice.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Diarrhea juice will sell more still.

[Josh Arnold]

Ch. I'm going, grape juice, right. I'm. I'm drinking the grape juice and I'm looking at the diarrhea woman going, you're hot. I beat the sis.

[Tom Griswold]

And then Pat goes, how come there's no booze in this?

[Josh Arnold]

And then Pat goes, how come there's no boo Boo?

[Tom Griswold]

You're.

[Willie Griswold]

You are in rare air today. You're being mean to everyone.

[Chick McGee]

Somehow he's missed me. I don't know what.

[Christy Lee]

Chicks might.

[Tom Griswold]

My new cigarette buddy.

[Chick McGee]

I like to think we're smoking together out back.

[Josh Arnold]

On his way in this morning went, ah, hell with it. I'm burning every.

[Pat Godwin]

These guys have been on my ass all week.

[Tom Griswold]

You know what?

[Josh Arnold]

I take it more than I get. I'm.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm done. I'm sick of it. Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

Got booze, pizza, my kids coming in.

[Tom Griswold]

Who cares?

[Josh Arnold]

Let's do.

[Chick McGee]

Let me tell you about Simply Safe. Can I like some peace of mind? That's. That's where Simply Safe comes in. We also trust Simplisafe here at the Bob and Tom studios. We got cameras all over the place. Checking, seeing who's here and what they're doing to each other. Make sure everything's okay.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Peace of mind. Am I right? Traditional security systems only take action after someone's already broken into your home. That's too late. SimpliSafe has active guard outdoor protection help prevent. Prevent break ins before they happen. AI powered cameras backed by live professional monitoring agents monitor your property and detect suspicious activity. If someone's lurking around and acting suspicious, agents see and talk to them in real time. Activate spotlights and even contact the police. All before they have a chance to get inside your house. No long term contracts or cancellation fees. Monitoring plans is simplisafe start affordably around a dollar a day 60 day satisfaction guarantee or your money back. So visit simplisafetom.com and listen to this deal. 50% off a new system right now with a professional monitoring plan and your first month free. Just go to simplisafetom.com to take advantage. There's no safe like Simplisafe.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much, SimpliSafe. And we do have it right here in the studio. There's, there's a Big Ben smoking a. What do you call it? Smoking a.

[Josh Arnold]

A dart.

[Tom Griswold]

A dart. Yeah. Now that these are tobacco cigarettes, is that correct? Yes. So a so called joint is not a dart?

[Willie Griswold]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. What's that called?

[Chick McGee]

Joint. Joint.

[Tom Griswold]

A joint is still a valid term.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

Join a J. A Jefferson.

[Tom Griswold]

A Jefferson. Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

Let's go. Let's go rip a T.J. let's do this.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know who said it first. I think it was Josh who said that Tom reminds us all of an alien who just got to. And he's desperately trying to act like a human being. Oh, I understand what a dart is. I absolutely do. Now was that still a joint?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I have a joke I'm not going to tell.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

It would be bringing Thomas Jefferson into the joint smoking realm. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts.

[Chick McGee]

I want to hear it.

[Tom Griswold]

This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk. Hey, there's Josh Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Willie Griswold's here.

[Willie Griswold]

My man.

[Chick McGee]

Ace Cosby. And the joke of the day on the way, I just rhymed. Tom, did you pick that up?

[Sam Miller]

Oh, no.

[Tom Griswold]

I was trying to get my phone to work properly.

[Chick McGee]

All right, sir. Seems like the place to do it. I'm Chick McGee at the Originsouls.com sports desk. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. And Tom, we have a special guest as you're.

[Tom Griswold]

We're going to meet our guest in a second. I just want. I have a complaint. I'm tired of my phone updating against my will.

[Chick McGee]

Okie doke.

[Tom Griswold]

Anybody have this happen over the weekend? All of a sudden I turn on my phone and all the emails in a different order and everything's all screwed up.

[Josh Arnold]

My email is a complete mess right now.

[Tom Griswold]

What the hell? What the hell have they done?

[Willie Griswold]

There is. There's a little button you can click so it does not auto update. I'll push that for you.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

I. Mine doesn't update unless I tell it to, however, saying that I told it to update. And my email's still a mess.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So I don't know what happened. Anyways, so I walk in here and it's. It's. My phone is bossing me around.

[Chick McGee]

They're trying to shove AI down our throat.

[Sam Miller]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, this is. And this is why I got rid of the Apple watch. I got really tired of being told, stand up. Watch around.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, just every.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, no, I'm not gonna do that.

[Christy Lee]

Stand up.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't need to be bossed around. Now we do have a guest in the studio. I can't help but notice him because he's gigantic.

[Christy Lee]

Nice.

[Sam Miller]

Right out the gate.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

This is radio. I mean, what are you, like 6, 5, 800? I mean, excuse me, sorry. No, no, that's not. That's mean.

[Josh Arnold]

Sir, are you £800? No, no, no, no, no, you're not, you're not.

[Sam Miller]

I'm Discovery Channel Big, not tlc.

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Sam Miller's with you.

[Sam Miller]

Are you.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you three bills? Is that fair?

[Sam Miller]

I'm £360.

[Tom Griswold]

£360. Okay, so I was almost halfway wrong.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know that people look at you, Sam, and go, oh, there's a fat guy. I think they go, there's a big guy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, exactly.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, but I am fat too, and I don't care.

[Josh Arnold]

But you're sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Sure. You look like you could be a. A retired lineman from the NFL. NFL who owns a pizza franchise?

[Sam Miller]

Indeed.

[Tom Griswold]

If I had a ruin at the end.

[Willie Griswold]

Just say a compliment, you monster.

[Tom Griswold]

He's a very funny man. He's got tattoos and he's got a good head of hair.

[Sam Miller]

I'm just happy to be here. I don't really have that great of a head of hair.

[Tom Griswold]

I see. I was lying.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, to Tom and I. That's a great headache.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Same Here.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Very, very good. Sam Miller on the road indeed. Sam and Willie G. Peoria, the famous Jukebox Comedy club. Friday, Saturday. If you miss those shows and you're in Peoria, what are you doing? Yeah, there's got to be something to do.

[Chick McGee]

Besides, some might say just go to Peoria to see the show.

[Tom Griswold]

There we go. That's. That's my.

[Christy Lee]

Worth the drive.

[Sam Miller]

You'll have a great time. You got that. And you got the museum with all the bulldozers. That's.

[Josh Arnold]

They have a bulldozer museum?

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, they have the Caterpillar Museum.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, cool.

[Chick McGee]

Well, why didn't you say so?

[Josh Arnold]

And you got to go now to see the Caterpillar Museum because in a few months, it'll be the Butterfly museum. Did you guys know that? Yes. I'm getting a thumbs down from Chick McGee.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, I think. I think that should be your closer. So goodbye.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that's a far different opinion, Josh.

[Willie Griswold]

During the setup, I understood what you were going for.

[Tom Griswold]

Me, too.

[Willie Griswold]

I smiled immediately.

[Josh Arnold]

I loved where it was going.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, we all saw it coming.

[Christy Lee]

We all saw it coming.

[Pat Godwin]

No, no, no.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm with Willie, though. I saw it coming about, why didn't I think of that? That's so, so clever and yet obvious. It's a great joke.

[Josh Arnold]

Very kind.

[Tom Griswold]

There's probably a sign in the lobby of that place.

[Josh Arnold]

I.

[Tom Griswold]

Three more weeks before we become.

[Josh Arnold]

When I told the joke, I didn't expect this much analysis. I kind of hoped it would just go away.

[Chick McGee]

That's your mistake. You should have known that he was gonna do this. He's still doing it. Back to town.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. And I. So I walked in the room. I was late once again, getting in here for some reason. I'm. Occasionally I'll be late during the breaks. Usually I'm having some high level conference with. And I walk in the room and I hear Sam talking. Talking. And he says, all I heard was the phrase, I think we're gonna share a CPAP machine. All I know about the CPAP machine is Mr. Godwin has to use one. This is that Aqua Lung thing you breathe at night or something?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, yeah. Sleep apnea.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, now you have one of those.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And you take it on the road.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, I do. I hate it. And. But I can't now. If I don't use it, I wake up with a sore throat because I'm not used to snoring.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Sam Miller]

So I'm kind of like. I've kind of built my own prison.

[Josh Arnold]

Are you sleeping better?

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, I sleep Great. I'm not.

[Tom Griswold]

How big? This is like the size of like a football.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you were going to make a joke about how I needed a giant cpap.

[Josh Arnold]

What do you use for a cpap?

[Tom Griswold]

A. I envision it as making like a whack and a whack and a whack and a whack and a whack and a sound.

[Sam Miller]

It's pretty quiet. Sometimes it slips off and it kind of squeaks. It'll be like. And I'm not a fan of that.

[Chick McGee]

I can tell you this. We weren't a fan of what you just did. I can't imagine the real thing. My God.

[Sam Miller]

My wife was talking about my snoring for a long time. And, yeah, I went in. I. I don't know if I've ever talked about this on here, but I had like 30 minutes. I stopped breathing 24 times. And that's what the lady told me. But it's funny because I felt like I was being attacked, so I threw it back at her. I was like. I started breathing 24 times, too.

[Tom Griswold]

This is. Oh, you had one of those sleep tests.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you do that at your house or do they. You have to, man.

[Sam Miller]

I did an in home one and they were like, yeah, you got sleep apnea. And it's like, well, duh. Like, I, I. My wife's like, you stop breathing all the time. And I'm like, so I knew I had sleep apnea. I take a sleep apnea test at home. They're like, you got sleep apnea? I take the sleep apnea test to the doctor and they're like, you need to go see a sleep specialist. All right. And then they're like, you got sleep apnea? I'm like, thanks.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sam Miller]

My third time.

[Tom Griswold]

So now does this thing strap to your face?

[Sam Miller]

It does. I'm not a fan of how it feels, but I fall asleep so quick now because I have a clear. How long's the hose know?

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, can you roll over?

[Sam Miller]

Oh, yeah, Yeah. I could wrap it around my neck if I wanted for that to sound like that.

[Josh Arnold]

Night so dark. Trouble with the wife. Sleep really well. And so one day I'll have the deepest sleep you could ever imagine.

[Tom Griswold]

Does your. You ever wake up and your wife's got her feet on your chest and she's pulling on the cord?

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, like cinching me down like a big. No, no, no. She's. She's a bigger fan of the CPAP than I am. And also the first time I Got up to work. I woke up and I was like, oh, yeah. Like I remember this. Like I just woke up and I was like, I'm okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Sam Miller]

You get used to waking up tired, feeling bad.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's nice. Well, I'm glad it's working out for you.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe you can get an endorsement.

[Sam Miller]

I could.

[Tom Griswold]

What's the name of your CPAP company?

[Sam Miller]

I don't know. Then maybe they should talk to me and say it on air.

[Josh Arnold]

Don't mention it. T paid.

[Tom Griswold]

Sam. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Godwin's trying to get a free new one. What's it called? Phillips.

[Pat Godwin]

You probably have the Phillips.

[Christy Lee]

But do they offer you different brands or do they just give you one?

[Pat Godwin]

Well, the insurance paid for.

[Josh Arnold]

For my Phillips.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, insurance paid. Insurance paid for mine.

[Josh Arnold]

I got the flathead.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Pat Godwin]

Clap on that one.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there you go.

[Willie Griswold]

Rules.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Pat Godwin]

He is the king of comedy.

[Josh Arnold]

That's not true.

[Tom Griswold]

Now I want to bring Chick back into the discussion.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, sir.

[Tom Griswold]

Because the other day I went out of my way to do something special for you guys and no one's noticed it. But behind Willie is a copy of the poster we made for Iowa.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

And I had to do a second version of it because Chick didn't like his photograph in the first one. So I went and had another one replayed.

[Chick McGee]

No one liked the photograph of me in the first one. Everyone said I looked like Mimi from the Drew Carey show.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

Now you can understand my trouble.

[Tom Griswold]

I spent $54 to get that done. Right there behind you. See, it's got the newer picture of you where you look like the host of a late night horror movie show. But I think it's nice.

[Chick McGee]

Idiotic. Nevermind. I like. Yes, you post for that.

[Tom Griswold]

I did that just for you.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, you did.

[Tom Griswold]

You're not gonna. And the one in the hallway. Same deal. Okay, now you've got the preferred Chick McGee picture.

[Chick McGee]

What am I?

[Tom Griswold]

No one else wanted it remade, but I did it for you.

[Josh Arnold]

If.

[Willie Griswold]

As long as we're doing this, that is the photo that I don't like being used.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I hate mine.

[Willie Griswold]

That's the one shaved all day. I mean, no, we did a whole new reshoot for it.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no, as long as we're doing this, that's a poster for a show we had a month ago.

[Chick McGee]

That's kind of way over.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but we're doing a new version for our trip to Toledo.

[Chick McGee]

Are we doing. Am I doing the Mimi photo or the new photo?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I'll do the new photo. But now I'm gonna have to get a list. I'll have to send the staff a letter. Who wants PJ to have to do a new photograph of you?

[Christy Lee]

Are we doing the full body ones like we talked about earlier? Because no. And I never got together.

[Willie Griswold]

Sorry I have to be here for this, Sam. I feel like when I was a kid, kid, my friend had to come to family therapy one day. This feels a little bit intimate right now.

[Sam Miller]

I'm just taking it that actually now we'll move on.

[Tom Griswold]

But I speaking of those shows, we are going to be in Cincinnati and Toledo coming up this month. Thursday, March 27, Opening Day, Cincinnati Reds will be at Smoke Justice, Covington, Kentucky, 6am we're going to have a great time brought to you by Field of Dreams Whiskey Company. And then the next day, Friday, March 28, Glass City center, downtown Toledo, brought to you by Frickers and Field of Dreams Whiskey. It'll be fun. Right now, if you're just joining us, thank you very much. You've missed a lot. It's the Bob and Tom program. We're coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios.

[Chick McGee]

As a matter of fact, we don't know if it's, if it's time yet.

[Josh Arnold]

Sam miller, We've been waiting all morning to find out when exactly is it time to rock? And we have the Rock Clock here with us.

[Tom Griswold]

Is it time? Time to rock?

[Josh Arnold]

No.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, okay.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Sam Miller]

No time to rock.

[Josh Arnold]

That was not according to the Rock.

[Chick McGee]

Once again, you are out of your element, pal.

[Christy Lee]

Welcome.

[Tom Griswold]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom program. Now let's meet our guest once again. He is comedian Sam Miller. Sam is a large fellow. How tall are you?

[Sam Miller]

Six. Six.

[Tom Griswold]

Six, six. And how much do you weigh?

[Sam Miller]

360 pounds.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, you, I mean, you carry it well.

[Sam Miller]

I love being big. Sometimes I like it when old lad help in grocery stores.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. Cuz it's really easy. And they're so happy. Like, yeah, I was, like I was already up here.

[Christy Lee]

I'm one of those ladies.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I love that you're on the road. Any unusual gigs of late since we last saw you, any unusual spots for you?

[Sam Miller]

So you guys know my history with recovery. I've been cleaning sober 16 years. Got in a lot of trouble.

[Tom Griswold]

I've been. What was your, what was your drink of choice?

[Sam Miller]

Matthew, of course. I've been doing comedy in a lot of prisons, so I've done four prison shows.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Sam Miller]

It's been good for the most part. There was a weird one so usually when I perform in prisons, it's for folks that are short timers. They're doing less than a year left on their sentence. I did one for life sentence. Folks that aren't getting out, way different vibe. And I was incarcerated some back in the day, so I know the score. Anyway, I did this show at the prison, and I don't want to say what prison it is, you know, I don't want to get in trouble, but I do this show at this prison. It's going really well. So my material, a lot of my material is about criminality, incarceration. They don't like those jokes. But what they love is my jokes about big women. That's what unites the inmates of America. Really. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I. I learned that. But anyway, there was a guy in the back. Okay. I've never told this story before, but there's a guy in the back who is being weird. All the other inmates are having a good time after the show. I'm hanging out. We're being friendly. It's nice. This guy comes up to me and he goes, hey. And I was like, you talk weird, you know? He goes, I really liked your jokes. And I was like, thanks, man. And he goes, do you know who I am? And I was like, no. He goes, I'm a bit of a celebrity. My. Myself.

[Josh Arnold]

Is that right?

[Sam Miller]

And my heart, like, started to drop. And then he just straight up told me. He goes, I was a serial killer.

[Josh Arnold]

Whoa.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Sam Miller]

And I found out who it was after the fact and all this stuff. But in that moment, like, I love, like, Silence of the Lambs, Mind Hunter, all these, like, serial killer shows, in that moment, I was like, never again. Never again. I'm done with all of it. But here's the thing, though. I am in a conversation with this dude, and I'm thinking about, like, this is like, the most awful of all human beings.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Sam Miller]

In front of me. Right. But I'm in a conversation with him and he told me that goes, I was a serial killer. And I looked at him and I was like, looks like you're doing a lot better now.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. What do you say?

[Sam Miller]

Exactly.

[Christy Lee]

You're done.

[Chick McGee]

So how's that going?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Geez.

[Josh Arnold]

Did you look him up afterwards?

[Sam Miller]

I did, and it sucks. And the reason why I did. And it sucks. He sucks.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Sam Miller]

You know, I. Like I said, I know some guys that are heavy. I've done some stuff that I'm pretty ashamed of. I was never, like, violent violent.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Sam Miller]

Like, I got in some fights and stuff. Like, that, but that's different. And it was funny because even the other inmates, they're not messing with that dude, like, because he's weirdo. Like, he's. He's off brand, you know, so.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you say which joke of mine was your favorite?

[Sam Miller]

You know, this is the thing about it, right. Like I said, none of the other inmates were hanging out with him. He was in the corner by himself the whole show. He didn't laugh at anything. Smiled at me the whole time.

[Chick McGee]

Right, because that's exactly the way I think it should go.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Sam Miller]

Because I think the whole time he was waiting to walk up to me and tell me that, man. And that's the reason I don't tell people who he was, because he can. He can kick rocks. He's not on Bob and Tom. I am.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah, no.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sam Miller]

You know, like, I'm not. I'm not gonna. Like, I'm not gonna give this guy press.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. We had a very similar experience. We played softball against the hardcore women's prison. We did it on the air one.

[Sam Miller]

Oh, that's awesome. Awesome.

[Tom Griswold]

And do you remember what happened?

[Christy Lee]

I wasn't there. This was before me.

[Josh Arnold]

You got hit on by Eileen Warnos, didn't you?

[Chick McGee]

Boy, what a crab.

[Tom Griswold]

But it was very similar experience. One of the. One of the ladies, it turned out, was part of a famous murder. And. And I had. I had hurt when they came up. You know who this is? No. The same deal. And it's. That's very creepy.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. And I think it really bummed me out because I love performing in prisons. Like. Yeah, it's. It's. It's wonderful to me. I recently did a. A Valentine's Day thing, and it was inmates that had their wives there. And I had been in that prison before, and they're introducing me to their wives and, like, it's the coolest.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Sam Miller]

That's nice vibe. Yeah, it's amazing.

[Tom Griswold]

Was it conjugal day or something?

[Sam Miller]

No, it's just like they have. Because these are all like. This is like. These are mostly like drug offenders, like, pretty minor.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, so they're. They're on their way out.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Sam Miller]

This wasn't the place with the.

[Tom Griswold]

I see. With the. The serial killer.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, with the serial killer. Yeah. And I. You know what's weird is I hesitate to even tell that story because I don't want people. Because it's not really like that. That was a one time.

[Tom Griswold]

Sure, sure.

[Josh Arnold]

So it shouldn't stop you from doing other prisons.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Sam Miller]

God, no. I'm Gonna do it even more. I love performing in prisons. And also the cool thing is, is you can perform in the afternoon because they're there. They're there.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sam Miller]

You don't have to wait for people to get off of work.

[Tom Griswold]

They were giving me the light, then suddenly it dimmed. That's pretty good. That's the last time I do a midnight show.

[Chick McGee]

Are you at a loud prison right now? Do you need to have some peace and quiet? Maybe you need Raycons Everyday Earbuds.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, nice.

[Chick McGee]

How about that? Raycons has active noise cancellation. It can drown out the most maddening of sounds. Raycon's Everyday Earbuds are your quieting sidekick for the gym, work or phone calls. Offering premium audio that goes where you go. And Raycon's latest model, better than ever. 32 hour battery life, multipoint connectivity lets you pair with two devices at once. And Raycon's quick charge function, 10 minutes of charging, 90 minutes of battery. And Raycon's half the price of other premium audio brands with similar features. If you don't love them, they offer a 30 day happiness guarantee return policy. Go to buyraycon.com tom that's buyraycon.com/tom. And get 20 off the best selling Everyday Earbuds brought to you by Raycon. That's buyraycon.com Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

I've been trying to find this all day.

[Christy Lee]

Oh my God.

[Tom Griswold]

Playing with your iPad.

[Sam Miller]

Time to rock.

[Christy Lee]

Good time to rock. Ace.

[Tom Griswold]

She got similar Melissa Etheridge and similar features.

[Chick McGee]

We agree on this.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't like this tune?

[Christy Lee]

That's a great song.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's a great.

[Chick McGee]

I was joking with her. She got mad at me. I will never listen.

[Tom Griswold]

Terrific song. Similar features by Melissa Ether. Double thumbs up.

[Josh Arnold]

Now you just wanted to find that.

[Pat Godwin]

What happened?

[Christy Lee]

Because he says.

[Josh Arnold]

Thank you. Okay, sorry.

[Chick McGee]

Similar features.

[Tom Griswold]

And every time he says that I think of that. Great song.

[Josh Arnold]

Thank you. Sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

Then I tried to find it and just by mistake for a change, I hit the wrong button.

[Chick McGee]

I don't think that happened at all. You're listening to the Bob and Tom Show. We're experiencing technical difficulties.

[Josh Arnold]

We'll be right back.

[Christy Lee]

Stay tuned.

[Tom Griswold]

I want to mention that Sam Miller and Willie G. Tomorrow night and Saturday night Peoria at the famous Jukebox Comedy club. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Sam Miller]

Just got to get a hold of us. Call fax, mail or email. Get all the contact information you [e-mail] this is the Bob at Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

The shows.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Josh Arnold's here. Christy Lee, Ace Cosby, Willie Griswold. I'm chick@the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. Hello, Tom. Don't we have a special guest?

[Tom Griswold]

We do, and I want to treat our guests to something fun in a matter of moments. We do have to check in with Christy Lee at the SILAC Insurance news desk at some point because we have some very exciting things happening in the news. We are joined by comedian Sam Miller.

[Sam Miller]

Hey.

[Tom Griswold]

A guy from the great Northwest, Olympia, Washington. Where'd you go to high school?

[Sam Miller]

A couple. Couple places.

[Tom Griswold]

You were the Fighting Watts.

[Sam Miller]

We were the Trailblazers. Yeah. And I don't remember the other mascots. I don't remember high school that much at all, really. I got my ged.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, I got expelled. But here's the thing. I'm one of 50 notable alumni from. They had a 50th anniversary anniversary. I won a 50 notable alumni thing from Timberline High School.

[Josh Arnold]

The school that expelled you?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Sam Miller]

So there's three people that won that dropped out, and I am the only one who got expelled and won that thing they like. It's a comeback story.

[Josh Arnold]

It is a comeback.

[Tom Griswold]

I have a quick question. What are the reunions like for your GED class?

[Sam Miller]

I have not been invited. I think, I think we have those in jail, actually.

[Tom Griswold]

Sam Miller is our guest. Recently did a bunch of gigs in prisons. Kind of nice of you to entertain the folks. Have you strictly done the men's prisons or.

[Sam Miller]

I haven't done a woman's prison. I'm sure that's coming up. There are those, you know, it's one of those things where, like, you start, you work one prison, before you know it, they're all reaching out.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no kidding.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, yeah, because it's the, you know, you have the Department of Corrections. They run the prisons. And I've done that one.

[Christy Lee]

And how much entertainment do they. They do.

[Sam Miller]

Not a lot. It depends, you know, it depends a lot of times, like, it's outside funding that allows it to happen. So the show I did in some of the prisons were sponsored by colleges and stuff, like law departments and stuff.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, interesting.

[Josh Arnold]

Would you ever do an album like Johnny Cash?

[Sam Miller]

You know, I think that's just been done a lot. I. I'm into it.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Like comedy album.

[Sam Miller]

What's his name? He did the crowd work special at the prison. And I would actually. My Idea. It's kind of a wild card move would be I would like to go into a prison and do like a stand up comedy workshop and teach inmates how to do comedy and then release.

[Christy Lee]

That and then do like an open mic night.

[Josh Arnold]

Man, that's a great idea, Sam.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Actually Metallica played prison a few years ago.

[Christy Lee]

Metallica's in the news today, Ace.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, well then we can, we can make a good segue there. Before we get back to Sam. What's Metallica doing now?

[Christy Lee]

They're bringing their performance from Mexico City straight to viewers face. Thanks to Apple Vision Pro, Metallica's show is going to be delivered in an immersive concert experience on VAR and VR headsets. Friday, March 14th. Filmed during the sold out finale of their M72 World Tour last year, you will have a 180 degree high definition viewing experience and immersive spatial audio. The concert experience features the band's iconic hits, of course Whiplash One and Enter Sandman. Apple built a custom stage layout featuring 14 of their immersive video cameras, including some that moved around the stage. If you do not own one of the $3,500 headsets, which is all Metallica fans. Yeah, you could, you can book a Vision Pro demo to experience Metallica's performance at your local Apple store.

[Tom Griswold]

I did read about this. I mean, it's so authentic. You put the headset on and the show starts 45 minutes late. You have to go buy a $150 T shirt and a $20 Coke. Very realistic.

[Chick McGee]

I think the Coke would be more than that.

[Sam Miller]

Who's gonna pour beer on me?

[Tom Griswold]

Are you a fan, Josh? Do you like the Metallica?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I do, I do.

[Tom Griswold]

Sam, you?

[Sam Miller]

I'm on the fence. I was just remembering when you were reading that story though, that when I was in jail, there was. Somebody had done graffiti and wrote Metallica, but they spelled it wrong. I was like, I still gotta stop getting locked.

[Josh Arnold]

That means it's time to rock. Little Pantera.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I like their Unplugged album. Was that guy being tortured? What's going on with him?

[Josh Arnold]

Good stuff.

[Pat Godwin]

People love it.

[Tom Griswold]

No, people are drunk now. Let's talk to Sam. Sam, you mentioned that the fellas in the prisons, they, they loved your jokes about the big girls.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You are a big fellow, you.

[Sam Miller]

I am Indeed.

[Tom Griswold]

You're like 6, 5, 6, 6, 300 something big, man. And not fat, just big. This is maybe too personal. Is your wife a woman of size?

[Sam Miller]

She is. And I have no problem talking about that. And I Love other big women. And too, I am a faithful fella. But it's always exciting anytime I'm touring in the Midwest, you know, I was just in Kansas City. I am a faithful man. However, if I wasn't high target environment. There are a lot. Yeah, a lot of big women. I know there's big women out here. I know there's big people in the Midwest. I know there are. Because all the toilets are loose. That's how, you know, we all got a little right off to them. That's how, you know you're in big people country.

[Willie Griswold]

You can kind of move it like a dj, you know, you got.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, it's got that gap in the, you know, just smiling at you, you know.

[Tom Griswold]

Good to know.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, that and the ruts in the grocery store. You know what I'm talking about? They get those little ruts, you'll spill something and it pools in the middle.

[Josh Arnold]

I never noticed.

[Tom Griswold]

That's fascinating. We're talking with Sam Miller, comedian, or also hanging out with Willie G. Patty, the G Twins. And we've got Christy Lee right over there at the Silac Insurance News. Let's squeeze a new story. And you got another one for me?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. The wife of Ghost Adventure star Aaron Goodwin has been arrested for allegedly trying to hire a hitman to have him killed. Did you hear about this?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. This story's insane, man.

[Christy Lee]

Victoria Goodman taken into custody on charges of solicitation to commit murder and conspiracy to commit murder. A police alleged. Ms. Goodwin, or Mrs. Goodwin aimed to have her husband killed while he was filming his ghost hunting show with Zach Bagans. A great show, by the way. Couple married in August of 2022 at Disneyland's Haunted Mansion. I didn't know that was an option.

[Josh Arnold]

And the poor guy claims he goes, I thought we were in a happy marriage.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, he was shocked, wasn't he?

[Josh Arnold]

And he, you know the show Chris, and I'm a fan of it as well. He's a sweetheart.

[Christy Lee]

He is.

[Tom Griswold]

Like, this is the one where they have the microphones and they go in scary places listening for ghost sounds.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. They have cameras. Yeah. All kinds of taps.

[Chick McGee]

So she.

[Tom Griswold]

She's been arrested for actually plotting this guy's death.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. She was communicating with an inmate in a Florida prison after about getting out of her marriage and apparently set aside $11,515 to pay the alleged hitman.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the going rate.

[Christy Lee]

It seems cheap.

[Willie Griswold]

Well, there's service fees.

[Tom Griswold]

I was gonna say.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

How does it. Why isn't it like a 11k? Why is their extra.

[Christy Lee]

Police learned of the alleged plot after corrections officers found and seized the inmate's contraband phone at his Florida prison. She, of course, has denied the alleged rule and the murder for hire plot.

[Sam Miller]

But man, that's a smooth talker. To be in prison and be like, I know your husband's famous, but what about me?

[Tom Griswold]

That is creepy.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. She says she was just exact. Like she was, you know. Cause she was texting things like am I a bad person for wanting him dead and not just breaking up with him. And she was like, well, I was just sort of speaking figuratively. The cops are like, I don't know that you were not if you offer.

[Christy Lee]

Money and put a dollar on it.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, exactly. And sent the would be killer the guy's schedule, the shooting schedule. He's gonna be at these spots at this time, right?

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, yeah. It's like hypothetically, if I was to give you 11,000 dol. $500 to kill him on Tuesday.

[Tom Griswold]

And by the way, here's his location.

[Sam Miller]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that is.

[Josh Arnold]

Poor guy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Well, thank you very much. We got a lot of action coming up. Very excited about it. I do want to mention we have.

[Christy Lee]

Al Jackson coming up.

[Tom Griswold]

We got Willie G. We can cancel that. And we got Sam Miller coming up at the jukebox in Peoria where Al Jackson was just playing a few weeks ago.

[Christy Lee]

Go see.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll be back with the boys. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Sam Miller]

This is the Bob and Tom show. Text us at 888-262-866. One more Bob and Tom next.

[Tom Griswold]

Pleasure.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. At the Silac Insurance news desk, it's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

There's Willie Griswold. Hey, there's Josh Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Ace Cosby's here. Another successful joke of the day. I'm Chick McGee. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. And Tom, we have a special guest.

[Tom Griswold]

A couple of them joining us in the studio. We have the big man. He is comedian Sam Miller. We are going to be joined on the satellite, I think by comedian Al Jackson. There we go, Alfred. You know, look how relaxed he is. He's in a big red chair just sitting back, back.

[Al Jackson]

I won the award for the weirdest camera shot of the day. I. It looks like the camera that's in a waiting room when you're at some kind of facility to see a friend. Yeah, it's. I, I had Richard Jefferson on my pod yesterday. So I Adjusted the shot for a guy that was 69, but then he sat in this tiny chair next to me, so. So I didn't get a chance to rearrange my shots. So this is. This is what happens when a regular person sits in an NBA player's chair.

[Tom Griswold]

Cool. Wow. How'd the interview go?

[Al Jackson]

It was really cool. He came in to call the Nuggets game yesterday, so he is best friends with my podcast partner from Survivor. They've been best friends since they were kids. And, yeah, so he's in town and they hung out and he was like, oh, do. Your PA was like, okay, let me change everything in my house.

[Tom Griswold]

So now, how does one hear this podcast? Comedian Al Jackson.

[Al Jackson]

You can just go to My safe word is more. It's on my Instagram and it's. You can't. If you can find me, you can find My safe word is More. So please check it out. It's doing great and the support is overwhelming. Tom, I appreciate it. Survivor fans. I didn't realize Survivor people are their own. Own community. I don't watch the show, but it's. It's a borderline cult.

[Tom Griswold]

It's beautiful.

[Sam Miller]

So we.

[Chick McGee]

We were really into the very first season. Remember that?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

The whole show. We lost our minds about it.

[Sam Miller]

Jeff.

[Tom Griswold]

It was 26 years ago until.

[Chick McGee]

What was the problem? I remember the last big challenge for the Survivors.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember Carvin Idol.

[Chick McGee]

Carbon Idol?

[Tom Griswold]

No, I still like. Yeah. Jeff Probst. That show, I think, has been. Is it 26. Six years? Maybe.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know. Their seasons and years are different.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, sometimes there's two, but I think.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I think there's like 50 episodes, but I think it went on the air. I think it went on there either in 99 or 2000.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. I think it's 26 seasons, and Jeff.

[Tom Griswold]

Probst looks exactly the same as he did then. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

He does not age.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. So, yeah, I always like talking to him. One of the guys.

[Al Jackson]

Are there survivors that have died from natural causes? It's been on that long?

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Richard Hatch died. Did.

[Josh Arnold]

No, it was a different Richard Hatch. Yeah, because we. I. I swore he did, too. No, and it turned out to be a different guy.

[Tom Griswold]

He won the first one. The guy that was his compadre is deceased. The older fellow.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, okay.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, Rudy. Somebody remember that?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's exactly his name. Now, Al, interestingly enough, our guests. Well, Sam Miller and then Willie G. Is here. They're going to be heading to Peoria's Jukebox Comedy Club.

[Sam Miller]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And the, the echoes of laughter from when you were there will still be floating around the air. You were just there a month ago.

[Al Jackson]

I, I, I can't tell you how much I love that club. And Josh Arnold was like, it's a club that you will never forget. And I was like, what is he talking about? And I went there and just. The owner, Dan. Dan is such a passionate comedy fan.

[Josh Arnold]

We love him.

[Al Jackson]

He loves comedy.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Al Jackson]

So many people say they love comedy. He loves comedy. You can just feel it. I've never done a club like that. You guys are going to love it.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, it's unique and fun and wonderful and odd and, yeah, he's, he's great.

[Sam Miller]

On my second time, and the first time was, was, was special.

[Tom Griswold]

I know. Our guest, Sam Miller, is fresh from his prison tour, Al, which is interesting. That's so cool. And I don't mean like a tour like he was in as an inmate, although that.

[Chick McGee]

Not this time.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. To clarify, have you ever played a prison, Al?

[Al Jackson]

No, I didn't. I thought you had to be, like, super famous. Like, think James Brown or somebody would go play a prison.

[Chick McGee]

Or Johnny Cage.

[Josh Arnold]

No.

[Al Jackson]

Richard Pryor did a few. I didn't know you.

[Josh Arnold]

You could do it.

[Al Jackson]

It was a comic.

[Tom Griswold]

Is there somebody that books a tour?

[Chick McGee]

I was just gonna, I was just gonna say it's, it's Josh's old comedy. Oh, you're working a prison. Who books that?

[Sam Miller]

I don't, I don't headline the A level prisons. I do B and C.

[Tom Griswold]

Again, a lot of inside comedy.

[Chick McGee]

Do you think there's a prison called the Palace? Well, someday you'll get to the Palace.

[Al Jackson]

Your mom is crying when you're performing there.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

I would imagine that all prisons have their own inside lingo, much the way this show does. Every business has inside stuff. And that's why Al calls. I should point this out to Sam. You may find this hard to believe, Sam. Al is trying to make me even hipper by getting me tuned into the current lingo.

[Sam Miller]

Is there any room.

[Tom Griswold]

I know I can know exactly what you're thinking? So, Al, what is our word today that I need to learn?

[Al Jackson]

Tom. There are certain words that I look up and I'm like, oh, that's interesting. I'll ask Tom about that. And then there are certain times when somebody hits you with slang, and your face shows that you clearly don't know what it means, and you can tell that person is like, oh, you're of a certain age. That happened to me. So I'm Going to put it back to you and see if you know what this means. Tom, what does Diva down mean?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, presumably diva meaning someone who's difficult to work with, thinks a lot of themselves. Hey, but the down aspect of it.

[Christy Lee]

I almost said Pat, but I didn't.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. So if, if like Pat would say God, when unprepared for something is sr. Diva down.

[Chick McGee]

Diva down. Down.

[Tom Griswold]

Can't get the lyrics out. What is, is that correct?

[Al Jackson]

That, that's pretty close. Yeah, you pulled it out. Willie, do you know what that means?

[Tom Griswold]

That.

[Al Jackson]

That's how I would take it. It just means that like, oh, that kind of, that didn't work.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah, I've never heard it like that ever.

[Pat Godwin]

No.

[Willie Griswold]

Diva down.

[Tom Griswold]

How would you use it, Al?

[Al Jackson]

Oh, just like when you would go, you know, we were going to go to the outdoor concert. We've been ready at the end of the summer. We were waiting for it. We get there and to park, it's $250. So we just turned around and left. Diva down. It's just like, obviously I only have heard girls say it to other people. I've never heard a man use it.

[Christy Lee]

But that's, I'm sorry, I kind of think maybe, and I may be on a limb here, but that might have to do with RuPaul's Drag Race a little bit. Yeah, cuz Diva down happens a lot on that show. Like it gets down on there.

[Sam Miller]

That's what I was thinking. Like a, like a drunk lady walking in here.

[Christy Lee]

Well, and they fall, they do fall when they're performing sometimes.

[Chick McGee]

And ah, I'm surprised they don't fall more often.

[Al Jackson]

How is the origin?

[Christy Lee]

It might be.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I have never watched that.

[Christy Lee]

Really? Oh, it's so good.

[Willie Griswold]

Or like betting for rich children being like, oh my God, Heart and Finn got the diva down. You guys, you gotta. Yeah, it's cozy, man.

[Josh Arnold]

I try. I went for the trifecta, but glittery tiara lost. That's great.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, I, I, it really changed my life when I realize like when there's 20 year olds that look at me like I'm a seasoned old man and I'm like, oh, I still feel young, but yeah, slang words like deeper down. I'm like, oh, it's happening.

[Christy Lee]

We all do.

[Al Jackson]

The process is occurring.

[Christy Lee]

I'll feel young.

[Tom Griswold]

In that case, it's just a matter of watching that one show, I guess.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, maybe.

[Tom Griswold]

And since there are so many shows out there, it's almost impossible to keep track of what's happening. Prison lingo. Did you learn anything when you were in the show in stir. Is that still a thing?

[Sam Miller]

I never heard that upstate. That's a thing right now from, like, my dad. The. I didn't mean to sound like that. I was just thinking about one that I've never heard since I got out, but have you ever heard anybody referred to as a truck? That man's a truck. No, a dump truck. Have you heard that before?

[Al Jackson]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Jackson, does it no mean something you can discuss on the radio?

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, it's totally. Yeah. It's just someone who's bad at a game or something. So you play dominoes with a partner, and I would be winning, but I got freaking. These guys a truck, you know, like.

[Josh Arnold]

He'S messing me up.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, he's messing me up. I've heard truck over here.

[Chick McGee]

During football in the NFL, you get trucks. You get run over, you know?

[Sam Miller]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Trying to tackle a guy over you. He got trucked.

[Al Jackson]

I love that. Yeah, I could. I could see that.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Just like something that's uncontrollable because in a. Especially in a game like Domino's, you need your partner to be able to read you.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

And it can cost you the game if they're just messing up. So. Yeah, I could see. That's cool.

[Sam Miller]

That's.

[Al Jackson]

I like the simple ones.

[Tom Griswold]

I just read an article about slaying and what one of the terms was trucking, and they had this really lame description of what trucking meant. It's based on that cartoon from years ago.

[Christy Lee]

The big guy with the big foot.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what trucking.

[Christy Lee]

I watched a documentary on that guy. What was his name?

[Josh Arnold]

Our crumb. You guys want to hear my new favorite text slang?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Jess Hooker taught a handful of us this yesterday. She was telling us that this was sent to her and she didn't know what it meant. Do you guys know tldr?

[Sam Miller]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I think it's so funny in that it's as rude a thing as you can text somebody, I think.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

She said she wrote this text. Do you know what it is? Al? No, no, no. She sent her sister this text and she got TLDR back. And she goes, what does that mean?

[Tom Griswold]

It means, is it till later or something?

[Josh Arnold]

It means too long. Didn't read. I have decided I don't care how long the text is, that I get pretty good. In fact, the shorter, the better.

[Sam Miller]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

And I'm just writing back tldr.

[Sam Miller]

I write really long posts on my social media, and people will be in the comments. They're like, tldr But I really like your comedy.

[Josh Arnold]

It's so funny to let the person they took the time to let you know. That was too long. I didn't realize I couldn't possibly be bothered.

[Tom Griswold]

What is it? What is. What is the best source to catch up on all this stuff?

[Josh Arnold]

Kids?

[Christy Lee]

Yep.

[Josh Arnold]

I think.

[Sam Miller]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

My nieces and nephew.

[Al Jackson]

You just hang out with kids?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

There's no, you know, magazine or handbook for it. I'm sorry. I know that's what you want.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, not because they show up in crossword puzzles all. But this will be in a crossword puzzle next week. And you're like, what the hell is this?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And then now. Now. That's a good one, though. Too long. Didn't read.

[Josh Arnold]

So funny.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a. That's a good one. Well, good to know. Oh, hey, look at the time. Al, we'll look forward to talking to you again soon, kids.

[Al Jackson]

I love y'all so much.

[Tom Griswold]

Good.

[Al Jackson]

Good to see y'all.

[Pat Godwin]

Love y'all.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, we gotta move forward here in life, and I gotta check in with Josh about his feet. They okay?

[Josh Arnold]

They are okay because I've got the orange insoles in my friends. That's right. If you work on your feet all day, you're putting stress on your body. I'm talking to you farmers, doctors, teachers, servers. If you're walking around in shoes that have tiny flimsy liners inside them, well, guess what? You're getting zero support. You might be experiencing back pain, hip pain, knee pain. A lot of that stuff starts from the ground up. You need better support. And that's where orange insoles come in. They offer arch support and a deep heel cup that work better to help alleviate all your aches and pains almost.

[Tom Griswold]

No matter who you are. With the exception of maybe swimmers.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, they did come out with orange flippers, but they decided that the market was not responding.

[Christy Lee]

Not a lot of call for it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

So if you need some further support for your body, check out orange insoles. And athletes, listen up. They just released the brand new Orange sport inside. I don't know if you know this, but most athletic shoes lack true support. Whether you're walking, running, training, just moving around, Orange sport will help keep your body aligned so you can perform your best. The thing that differentiates the orange sport from the regular insole, they feature this new and exclusive O foam technology. It has a thin athletic profile and it offers three times the durability and 40% more energy return. Find the right orange insole for go toorangeinsouls.com. you'll whether you're wearing work boots, dress shoes, sneakers, you name it. There's no cutting required. Also, they come true to size, so you can keep those scissors in your scissor dryer. Go to originsouls.com today for free shipping. Plus, orange insoles come with a 60 day. We want you to be happy guarantee. That's orangeinsouls.com, feel better, do more.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, we have more embarrassing things to show job for in the news. Willie G. Sam Miller, Patty G. At all. And we are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Everybody's here. Josh and Ace Christy, Willie Griswold. I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom. We have a special guest, Pat Godwin. Who?

[Christy Lee]

Well, Pat Godwin. Don't forget him.

[Chick McGee]

We're fighting. We are not fighting.

[Josh Arnold]

That's what you guys are fighting about, whether or not you're fighting.

[Chick McGee]

I understood we were fighting.

[Pat Godwin]

What happened?

[Tom Griswold]

It's not joining us the studio. I like to call him the Big Man.

[Chick McGee]

Well, never mind.

[Tom Griswold]

He is a comedian. Sam Miller.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, before you call somebody a big man, you should ask them if they like being called the big man. Because sometimes big men do big men things and beat you up.

[Chick McGee]

You forgot the word easily.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, these are all possible.

[Sam Miller]

I haven't put my hands on anybody in like a year or two.

[Willie Griswold]

I gotta say, buddy, that's not enough time. Yeah, you gotta separate it a little.

[Tom Griswold]

Decade would be a nice word, Sam. Okay, what is it again? 6.

[Sam Miller]

6. 6, 360.

[Tom Griswold]

6, 6, 360. Wow, that's. That's a big fella.

[Josh Arnold]

He's a hunk of gristle, huh?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but not.

[Sam Miller]

You should see my. My boss body stuff is crazy.

[Josh Arnold]

What do you mean?

[Sam Miller]

Like poops, farts, Everything I do, even my yawns are impressive. It's like.

[Willie Griswold]

This weekend, Sam and I are sharing an Airbnb. I'm gonna treat it like a nature show.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

I'm gonna film it. I'm gonna see what the big Guy's up to.

[Christy Lee]

That's like staying with a bear.

[Sam Miller]

I. I sleepwalk and I sleep do other stuff.

[Pat Godwin]

I know what you're talking about.

[Sam Miller]

I'm a sleep hugger.

[Tom Griswold]

I think it's time for a song from Pat Godwin. Pat's got the number one album out there right now in the world of comedy. It's called Hotel Pool. Pat, we haven't heard much from you today. I know you're.

[Chick McGee]

Holy hell, that sounds great.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, it does.

[Tom Griswold]

Basking in the glory of your album. But how about a song?

[Pat Godwin]

We have Sam Miller. You don't need a song from me, Bunny. Sam in the sobriety. He was in jail, now he's free like big girls with big old Te's boy. You don't need a song from me. All right.

[Josh Arnold]

He's blushing.

[Pat Godwin]

This comedy will bring you euphoria. He and Willie are in. And Peoria. You don't need a song from me.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you, Pat. Nice plug for your gig this weekend in Peoria.

[Sam Miller]

I think I just peaked. A song about the rest of my life is going to be down now.

[Tom Griswold]

You've got your arms splayed out. I can't help but notice a lot of ink, as they say, a lot of ink. Any recent tattoos or are these all old?

[Sam Miller]

I got one. One on the. My left calf. It's a strange one I showed Christy yesterday.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, it's pretty funny.

[Sam Miller]

It's like a cartoon knife and a cartoon gun and they're angry at each other and the gun is holding a knife and the knife is holding a gun. Oh, so it's a. It's a gun that brought a knife to a knife fight and a knife that brought a gun to a gunfight.

[Christy Lee]

And it's in a Looney Tunes style cartoon esque.

[Chick McGee]

I see.

[Tom Griswold]

And you stop smoking pot.

[Sam Miller]

I've had this idea. Idea. You know, a lot of times people are like, oh. They're like, you get a tattoo and it's like, what's that mean? Oh, it's like, this is for my grandma. Like, she had. She had the nose thing or something and.

[Josh Arnold]

Cocaine habit.

[Chick McGee]

Some people call it a nose thing.

[Tom Griswold]

Grandma blow. No, not that kind.

[Sam Miller]

This tattoo means. It doesn't mean anything. I just thought it was. I just thought it was like a.

[Josh Arnold]

Sort of a poignant comment on societal violence.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or, oh, it's a knife with a gun and a gun with a knife.

[Tom Griswold]

Or the lunatic ideas of a madman. Well, can we take a picture of it and post it?

[Sam Miller]

Indeed you can.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. I'd like to do that. Once again, hanging out with Sam Miller. But, Sam, I know you're an experienced comedian and you have lived a. Let's just say a colorful life.

[Sam Miller]

I have indeed.

[Tom Griswold]

I think that's fair. You've been in jail, you've been in rehab. You are successfully sober for quite some time now. Congratulations on that. Certainly. But that doesn't mean that you know everything about comedy. Even Tiger woods has, takes, has a swing coach.

[Chick McGee]

You know, when you do this, even Ace. I know, shakes his head at like, what the hell is he talking?

[Tom Griswold]

As Christy once said, what if someone's listening to the show for the first time and they're, they said, I'm going to give it five minutes and they've already quit?

[Willie Griswold]

I think there's several people listening for the last time.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Okay. Very good here. Here we go, ladies and gentlemen, Gentlemen. Ace, who's that sexy man with a deep voice?

[Al Jackson]

Ace Cosby.

[Tom Griswold]

Here he is with his joke of the day.

[Josh Arnold]

Now yesterday, Josh, you were talking about cremation. Yeah, my, my aunt passed. Oh, ramen. She was cremated. We put her remains in an hourglass. She joins us now every family game night. I like that joke.

[Christy Lee]

Brought to you by Sleep Number Sleep better together. Save 40% on the new Sleep Number special edition Smart Bed. It's for a limited time and exclusively at a Sleep Number store.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much, Christy Lee. If you're just joining us, we are here in the Bob and Tom program in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Now, I got a letter.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

We were talking about embarrassing things. Sometimes you're sent out to buy things. This all started with a discussion of would you go out and buy, say, your lady friend her cigarettes? If you don't smoke, would you buy her tam. Tampons.

[Josh Arnold]

Happily, by her tampons.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Dear Bob and Tom, as my mother aged, she needed adult diapers.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, sure.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And she would ask me on occasion to go get them. And as any good son, of course I would.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

However, if the lady at the checkout was young and pretty, I would always repeatedly make comments like, wow, I hope these are the size my mother needs. Yeah, I guess this is the size my mother wants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That, that would be rough. You want to just pass along. Unless, I mean, I suppose if you're, you know, very open person, that's where.

[Christy Lee]

Delivery comes in handy. Yeah, I would have them delivered if.

[Josh Arnold]

You were wearing them. No.

[Christy Lee]

Well, yeah, but I mean, even when my mother was in that situation, I had them delivered.

[Tom Griswold]

So would it be wrong to say to the clerk, hey, she's about your size, what size adult typers you wear?

[Christy Lee]

I wouldn't say that.

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

See, I, you go, you look like a hero to whoever's checking you out. But every store from hardware stores to drugstores have self checkouts.

[Tom Griswold]

Nobody.

[Christy Lee]

You don't have to talk to anybody.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But if you're standing there hovering over.

[Christy Lee]

The adult diaper section, somebody Suggested to me, because once again, I'm moving that you use adult diapers to pack your plates in. You, you can, you know, put them in and then fold them over like that. And I, I kind of embarrassed to even try it because I don't want to go buy adult diapers.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, newspaper works just fine. Bubble wrap.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, but you can't pee in newspaper.

[Josh Arnold]

You can't.

[Tom Griswold]

Thanks for one with peace.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, you can.

[Chick McGee]

You can.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Is that going to hamstring the comedy world? We don't have cashiers anymore. Is that going to. I was talking with a cashier the other day. How about that? Like that? No.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Sam Miller]

I am terrible with cashiers. I have such a hard time with, like, small talk. I'll always say something like really heavy. You know, I can't help it. I was, I was at a cashier one time and I had listened to a podcast by an astronaut and there's this astronaut, he does these podcasts and he's very depressed. Yeah, he's a sad astronaut. And they asked him and they were like, what's the first thing you notice when you leave Earth? And he goes, how thin the atmosphere is. It's like a sheet. And that's what I told the cashier. She's like, how's your day going? I was like, this astronaut said the atmosphere is a sheet.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That weirded her out.

[Chick McGee]

I don't mess you up.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Now let's get back to the Silac Insurance news desk with Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Doctors warn that they have been seeing an uptick in patients who've been mistakenly fingernail glued, gluing and crazy gluing their eyes shut. This is.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no.

[Christy Lee]

The confusion often arises because some glue bottles and eye drop containers can be of similar size and shape.

[Tom Griswold]

I've been saying this forever.

[Christy Lee]

Dr. Richard Davidson, an ophthalmologist with UC Health, told KUSA.

[Chick McGee]

If you can't navigate, yes, holder of.

[Josh Arnold]

Glue, you deserve this.

[Tom Griswold]

Which is which?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, the problem is we can't read the label. Green can happen. Are the able. You're able.

[Chick McGee]

I'm not going to use a 12 foot long reaching stick. Exactly.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm gonna look at it.

[Tom Griswold]

These are both glue.

[Christy Lee]

If you're using eye drops, you can't see very well.

[Josh Arnold]

Silly.

[Chick McGee]

Why do you have two tubes of glue? The white one's the ear drop.

[Tom Griswold]

This is the eye drop also.

[Josh Arnold]

Who keeps their glue next to their eye drop?

[Christy Lee]

That's a good point.

[Willie Griswold]

Crazy over there does.

[Christy Lee]

By the way, the doctor said mix ups are not likely to cause permanent damage, but can be painful and require medical attention.

[Josh Arnold]

You deserve it. You deserve it.

[Tom Griswold]

I think. Okay, I think part of this is who. Who uses eye drops? Answer Stone. Stoners. Yeah. Ergo the error.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't think that's.

[Tom Griswold]

I think Dr. Is saying they're getting an uptick. I just think they need to do something to change the packaging. It's the same way when you go to the gas station, they've got a different hose for diesel. They need to have like, all eyedrops should be square or something.

[Sam Miller]

You know when you go to like the gas station and they have like a coffee cup connected to the key. That's what we should do with your eye drops is like have like a. Oh, a stuffed animal or something.

[Chick McGee]

I'm more concerned that you always use glue to help your wounds heal. And that's why you have. How many. How many tubes, for lack of a better term of glue, do you have over there?

[Tom Griswold]

Only two in this drawer. You understand that what we now call crazy glue was invented? Yes, I think it was during the Korean war to instantly seal wound.

[Willie Griswold]

Do you understand, though that you're not in the demilitarized zone right now?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You're not at war, you are not in country, you're not in combat.

[Josh Arnold]

Guys, don't yell at Tom for the glue he has. I want him to accidentally seal his eye shut and his mouth.

[Chick McGee]

Did you see what Chick did?

[Tom Griswold]

Remember a couple of years ago, he's.

[Willie Griswold]

Always sticking himself with glue. And then a couple years ago, he ripped a bunch of his skin off with glue.

[Josh Arnold]

And then he goes, it must have been on the table. Somebody didn't wipe the table down the right way.

[Tom Griswold]

You mean this scar?

[Willie Griswold]

Yes, that's from over blue.

[Christy Lee]

Well, an Indiana University dental school employee has been arrested after allegedly stealing nearly $160,000 in gold from fillings. According to WXIN IU police were alerted in early March about an audit that revealed a fraudulent ordering scheme within the school. The 33 year old suspect, Michael Frazier, is accused of ordering gold alloy dental products at least 34 times since 2020 and taking them for himself.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

He later confessed to the scam, telling officers he sold the dental supplies for cash at a gold buying store in Avon, Indiana.

[Chick McGee]

And the sign gave me the idea. Cash for gold.

[Christy Lee]

He faces charges of felony fraud and theft.

[Tom Griswold]

Does this guy look like a rapper?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know. Why?

[Josh Arnold]

Because of the grills. The gold grills?

[Tom Griswold]

The gold grand grill in front?

[Josh Arnold]

No, he's selling it. He's not using it.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Be much, much funnier if he had all gold teeth.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. We could play that great Steely Dan song. Oh, what? Steel your gold teeth.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

Right, Chick, you're on board for this? For the day.

[Chick McGee]

I am not on board for your gold teeth.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't like that song?

[Christy Lee]

Your Gold Teeth is a song?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

By the great Steely Dan.

[Christy Lee]

Not familiar with. Anybody else is.

[Tom Griswold]

I have a question. Is William Devane still alive?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

But I just saw somebody else was doing his gold commercial the other day.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, that's wrong.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that's sad. Yeah. Oh.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Slightly younger man.

[Chick McGee]

Well, maybe Devane got, you know, too big for his britches. You never know.

[Sam Miller]

Steely Dan's too heavy for me. I'm more of an aluminum Dan.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Sam knows where he is.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Are you aware of the origin of the name Steely Dan? I am not.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, but please, Boris.

[Sam Miller]

I mean, I don't know, now.

[Chick McGee]

Adventures and boy.

[Willie Griswold]

Of a condom or something. It's something relatively naughty.

[Tom Griswold]

It's the name of a dildo.

[Willie Griswold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

In the William. In the William Burroughs novel.

[Josh Arnold]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

I. Naked Lunch. Yeah. Seriously, that's where they got the name.

[Sam Miller]

Of that tells me Naked Lunch isn't as cool as it sounds.

[Willie Griswold]

Yeah, it sounds really cool, but it's probably boring.

[Josh Arnold]

It's impenetrable and annoying.

[Tom Griswold]

Actually, I'm gonna write this novel.

[Josh Arnold]

Last thing I want someone to read. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Actually, you might enjoy it. It's about a lot of the things you've been through.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, you like it?

[Tom Griswold]

No, I said he must.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I'm not.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm not a former typewriter has an anus.

[Chick McGee]

That's.

[Tom Griswold]

That's.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, I gotta do that. I'm a talking book guy. And audiobooks. Yeah, you're not supposed to call him Talking Book.

[Josh Arnold]

You are a talking book guy.

[Willie Griswold]

It took me a while to even.

[Josh Arnold]

Realize what you're shooting for.

[Pat Godwin]

That's a speedy one.

[Josh Arnold]

You said I would think you were a popup book guy.

[Sam Miller]

You guys about.

[Chick McGee]

That was a great album.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, we call them audiobooks, but talking.

[Willie Griswold]

Book sounds like a magical thing in Harry Potter that comes awake and it reads to you.

[Tom Griswold]

And, yes, I. I'm trying to sleep. Talking. It's time to move back to the news desk with Christy Lee. It's the Silac Insurance news desk.

[Christy Lee]

The FBI has issued a warning to be aware of malicious phishing text messages. We've been talking about this for weeks. According to a new report from Palo Alto Networks, unit 42, cybercriminals have registered over 10,000 domains to fuel a new wave of attacks targeting iPhone and Android users throughout the U.S. some may have already encountered the toll road scam text threatening users with bogus unpaid toll fees. The messages entice you to reveal personal and or financial information information including credit or debit card and account information. The feds say people who receive these so called smishing texts should delete them immediately.

[Tom Griswold]

We all got them.

[Christy Lee]

Oh yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Recently when we were in.

[Sam Miller]

Over in Iowa the next day yesterday.

[Christy Lee]

Did you.

[Tom Griswold]

Here's the thing though. What about the real ones? You know, there's. I got a legit one from Illinois a couple years ago.

[Willie Griswold]

They send them in the mail.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. They're not. You're not gonna get attacked, right.

[Sam Miller]

I told my mom, never click on a link. Go find them. You know what I mean? If they're like, oh, this is a tool receipt from Iowa. You know, and it's like, well, I was in Iowa. I'm gonna go to the Iowa dot.

[Josh Arnold]

Right, right. And you put in.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And a lot of scams, especially of older people.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, sadly.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I think what we need to do is find the people doing this and then burn them at the stake publicly and say, hey, if you do this, you're gonna be set on fire every Friday night. It is the worst.

[Josh Arnold]

Sounds about right.

[Tom Griswold]

Actually, they're. I mean, they're really getting a lot of. A friend of mine's mom who was in her 90s, got scammed by one of these. Not too.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, but she didn't need all that money.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yes, she did.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know about that. What's the worst that happens? She can't pay for her medicine and then she passes away.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. She's 90.

[Pat Godwin]

She's very close.

[Sam Miller]

Make room.

[Chick McGee]

Greatest Generation.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah. On your way out anyway.

[Tom Griswold]

Move over. Give me the money. Okay. Thanks for building our.

[Chick McGee]

Can I tell you about Simply Safe?

[Tom Griswold]

Please do.

[Chick McGee]

That's right. We've got Simplisafe here at the Bob and Tom studios. We trust Simply Safe to keep track of everyone. How would you like to have a Josh Arnold wandering around your place of business?

[Josh Arnold]

That's why even I don't want a Josh Arnold in my house.

[Chick McGee]

You're darn right. Traditional security systems only take action after somebody's already broken in. And that is too late. Simplisafe has active guard outdoor protection. Can help prevent break ins before they happen. AI powered cameras backed by live professional monitoring agents monitor your property and detect suspicious activity. If someone's lurking around or acting suspiciously. Agents see and talk to them in real time, activate spotlights, can even call the police. All before they have the chance to get inside your home. And with SimpliSafe, there's no long term contracts or cancellation fees. And monitoring plans start affordably at around a dollar a day. And SimpleLife has that 60 day satisfaction guarantee or your money back. Plus get a load of this deal we've got for you. Go to simplisafetom.com and claim 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and your first month free. That's SimpliSafe. Tom.com there's no save like simply safe.

[Tom Griswold]

We were talking about slang terms. I don't think the FBI is going to the term smishing. I don't see that taking on.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, isn't phishing enough?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I would think.

[Chick McGee]

I think it's already taken.

[Christy Lee]

I think it's sms.

[Sam Miller]

Sms, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

That's where they get smishing.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I got you. As opposed to the email.

[Chick McGee]

Right, right, right.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't like it.

[Sam Miller]

Speaking of ticks, I just want to.

[Chick McGee]

Let you guys know, Tom, we don't have enough time in the day to go over the things you don't like.

[Tom Griswold]

Smishing sounds like a porno move. You seen that new movie? And she's getting smished. She walks.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

For a week.

[Sam Miller]

I just got a text from my wife and all it says in all caps aluminum. Dan, shut up. So I'm happy my wife's listening.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi Brit.

[Pat Godwin]

I love you.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, if she wants to go buy any aluminum. Dan elms the tariffs now 25 O'Reilly Auto Parts is where we are. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Sam Miller]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Even though we're not too much to look at. You can also watch the show on our YouTube channel. Wrong joss. Weird too.

[Josh Arnold]

I say dryer. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

He also says firey. Fire.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

He doesn't say talking book.

[Chick McGee]

And Harney. You know, superstitions on talking book. That's a great album. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. There's Christy Lee, Pat Godwin, Josh Arnold, Ace Cosby, Willie Griswold. I'm Chick. Hello. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and here's Tom. We have a special guest.

[Tom Griswold]

We do.

[Chick McGee]

We.

[Tom Griswold]

Comedian Sam Miller is here with us. Talk with Sam in just a second. Got a couple things we gotta, we've gotta do here of import. For example. We're gonna be hitting the road. We got shows coming up In Cincinnati and Toledo. And we are gonna have some special shirts that will be selling.

[Chick McGee]

When is that?

[Tom Griswold]

It's this month and end of March.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Thursday, March 27th.

[Josh Arnold]

What day?

[Tom Griswold]

Thursday, March 27th. Pat will be at Smoke Justice, Covington, Kentucky.

[Chick McGee]

I think that might be Elton Johnson John's birthday. March 27th. Along in there somewhere.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, well, that'll change everything.

[Chick McGee]

That's right. Well, you shop early because that'll be. Stores will be packed.

[Willie Griswold]

We'll be in the Queen City.

[Tom Griswold]

That's right. Thank you, Willie.

[Pat Godwin]

Willie.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you, Willie. I expect more out of you than that.

[Tom Griswold]

Celebrating Major League Baseball. And then. And then Friday, March 28, we'll be celebrating the famous Toledo Mud Hens at Glass City center live broadcast. Each of those mornings, we'll have some fun. So details coming up. And we'll have some T shirts we're selling. They'll benefit the Great Cincinnati Children's hospital and Ronald McDonald House in Toledo. So that'll be fun. In the meantime, we have Christy Lee at the SILAC Insurance news desk. We need one more story out of you, Christy.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, what do you want, Tom?

[Tom Griswold]

Tell me.

[Josh Arnold]

Whatever's on top there.

[Chick McGee]

Can we just be honest? Just slap something together, make something up.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Willie Griswold]

Honestly. Read a cake.

[Christy Lee]

Federal authorities say a Pennsylvania man going through security at a New Jersey airport.

[Chick McGee]

Not that one.

[Christy Lee]

Was found trying to smuggle a live turtle in his pants.

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. The TSA said the anomaly was detected by a body scanner at. Finally, a body scanner guy goes, hey, wait, I got something.

[Chick McGee]

I think I had like three or four of those turtles when I was a kid. Those little teeny tiny turtles used to get the dime store. I bet I buy three or four of those.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Wow.

[Chick McGee]

You get some mustard? They were so good.

[Josh Arnold]

I had four of them, but I.

[Chick McGee]

Had to get rid of them.

[Josh Arnold]

I put them, I flushed them down the toilet. And then they encountered this tube of ooze.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

And they started messing around in it. And then they became Teenage Mutant.

[Chick McGee]

Ninja Turtles.

[Christy Lee]

This happened in Newark, where a TSA officer conducted a pat down on the man, determined he had something concealed in the groin area.

[Josh Arnold]

Heroes in the half shell. Turtle power.

[Chick McGee]

Is that a turtle in your pants or are you happy? Why would you.

[Christy Lee]

The man reached into his pants. The 5 inch long turtle wrapped in a blue towel.

[Tom Griswold]

Hope, he said, ta da.

[Christy Lee]

The turtle was confiscated. Not clear if the turtle was the man's pet or why he had it in his pants.

[Sam Miller]

I don't know why the turtle needs a towel. It's like, are you modest?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Got a shell.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I know a woman who used to sneak turtles in her pants. Yeah, Box turtles.

[Tom Griswold]

It was a snapper. He was having a pretty good day there. Pat. And Pat may have rescued that show.

[Chick McGee]

You like those? Those turtle candies are pretty good, right?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

No kidding. Don't care for the turtles.

[Sam Miller]

I laughed so hard at that turtle joke, I got a little bit lightheaded. And that's a problem with me somewhere.

[Tom Griswold]

You ever had a turtle head on an airplane, Christy?

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Josh Arnold]

You know.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no, thank you, Jim. Yeah, the old turtle head. That seat belt sign's on. You're going. Look, I.

[Chick McGee]

Well, someone kicked the music machine. It sounds.

[Christy Lee]

I have no idea what he's talking about.

[Josh Arnold]

A piece of poop is already coming out.

[Chick McGee]

Prairie dogging turtle head, poking his head out. You know, one of those.

[Tom Griswold]

Now answer the question. Can you play the music?

[Chick McGee]

Are we doing this now? Is that.

[Tom Griswold]

Go ahead.

[Chick McGee]

We don't react well to change March 13th. Here's Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow, I didn't know this guy was born that early. 19. 1911. The birthday of L. Ron Hubbard, which of course means the Ron Hubbard in Spanish.

[Josh Arnold]

That's exactly right.

[Tom Griswold]

His mother, of course.

[Chick McGee]

Several great documentaries on Scientology.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know anything about this guy.

[Chick McGee]

Mother Hubbard.

[Tom Griswold]

He's responsible for the great Mission Impossible movies with Tom Cruise, so it's okay with me.

[Chick McGee]

Is that right?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't. Aren't there rumors that he's been frozen?

[Josh Arnold]

Tom Cruise?

[Chick McGee]

No, L. Ron Hubbard. I think he's emotionally unavailable. You mean.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, yeah, yeah, I've heard the rumor that his body's.

[Josh Arnold]

I read an L. Ron Hubbard. I've read a couple of his books. Not the Scientology stuff, but, like, Battlefield Earth and. Cool.

[Tom Griswold]

Cool, yeah. Enough to start a cult.

[Josh Arnold]

I could see where. Why people went. Oh, yeah, I'll listen to what this.

[Chick McGee]

You know what? Just for fun, let's check in next week. Let's keep an eye on your text for the next 24 to 36 hours, all right? And see what happens.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, my phone has turned into a copy of Dianetics.

[Tom Griswold]

Ah. Tldr.

[Chick McGee]

Holy hell.

[Tom Griswold]

Happy birthday. Oh, great actor, William H. Macy. Not to be confused with Bill Macy.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Who was on Maude.

[Christy Lee]

Right?

[Chick McGee]

And there's Maude.

[Christy Lee]

He had a mustache, didn't he? He did, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

William H. Macy's famous for what?

[Chick McGee]

Fargo.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there you go. Oh, I know this guy. The rapper Common.

[Christy Lee]

You know him?

[Tom Griswold]

Really? Yeah, because my high school had an area named after him. Most. Most high schools. I have no idea.

[Chick McGee]

Go. Go check out a movie called Smok Commons in that. Yeah, it's a pretty good movie. It holds up pretty well.

[Tom Griswold]

Actor Emile Hirsch.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, he's good.

[Christy Lee]

Very good.

[Chick McGee]

He's probably my top five Emiles.

[Josh Arnold]

Ah, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Zola.

[Chick McGee]

Nope. Don't care for him.

[Tom Griswold]

What other ones are there?

[Willie Griswold]

Snl.

[Tom Griswold]

He's great. Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Meal free.

[Pat Godwin]

There's no free a meal.

[Chick McGee]

It's been a long.

[Josh Arnold]

There's no such thing as a free a meal.

[Christy Lee]

Sniper.

[Tom Griswold]

There you go. Thank you, Pat. Redeeming yourself.

[Chick McGee]

Thank God you hung around.

[Tom Griswold]

On this date in 2012, Encyclopedia announced they're not going to print the encyclopedia anymore. No kidding.

[Chick McGee]

And no one said anything?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they read about it on what.

[Josh Arnold]

Do kids sit on now when they steal cars?

[Tom Griswold]

That's right. There are no phone books.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, no phone books, no encyclopedia. Encyclopedias.

[Tom Griswold]

Get on that smaller car report back with I want to hear what that's.

[Chick McGee]

Wrap it up, Clowney.

[Tom Griswold]

Sure. Sam Miller, Willie G. Friday night, Saturday night, Peoria's famous jukebox Comedy club. We are in the Aurelioto part studio. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Sam Miller]

For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom show contest rules, go to bob and tom.com contest rules. Or just scroll down down to the bottom of the page and see contest rules. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Jim Rome takes on sports.

[Tom Griswold]

Why? Because you're not playing me with rapid fire takes. Y'all went from the super bowl straight to the toilet bowl. He's not over the NFL. The NFL is over him. Scorching debates, all the good, all the bad, all the ups, all the downs. He's the spitfire of sports.

[Sam Miller]

Smack.

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry for what I said because was appropriate when I said it, but I.

[Josh Arnold]

Can'T say it anymore.

[Tom Griswold]

Dude, you are killing the game.

[Chick McGee]

The Jim Rome show podcast.

[Tom Griswold]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform.