The BOB & TOM Show - March 13, 2026

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast – March 13, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of The BOB & TOM Show is a true blend of comedy, irreverent talk, listener letters, music, and offbeat news and sports. Broadcasting live on a Friday (dubbed "Fry Yay"), the hosts and their regular guests roam through topics like celebrity gossip, pet names, tipping culture, classic sitcoms, trivial controversies, and plenty of musical tangents. With their signature quick wit, light roasting, and friendly banter, the cast provides a fast-paced and laughter-filled morning for listeners.

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Main Discussion Themes & Segments

1. Musical Comedy & Morning Banter

• Opening Song: The show kicks off with a humorous (and slightly dark) revenge song by Haywood Banks about plotting mischief while someone sleeps. [00:25–02:25]
• Mood Setting: The crew greets each other and listeners, noting the "Friday" vibe and poking fun at the way people celebrate the end of the workweek. [02:27–03:40]
• Color Talk: “Titty pink” as a color comes up, leading to jokes about paint colors and Christy Lee’s outfit. [02:50–03:05]

“It's Christy Lee, in the vision in titty pink.” — Host A, [02:50]

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2. Celebrity Gossip: The Morrissey Incident

• Story Recap: Morrissey canceled a concert in Valencia, Spain due to sleep deprivation from city festivities disturbing him overnight. The cast debates whether his cancellation is justified or “diva/douche” behavior.
• Divided Room: Tom thinks it’s weak and inconsiderate to fans, while Josh and others empathize with the need for rest.
• Notable Quotes:

“He’s such an ass. He’s a talentless version of Brian Ferry!”
— Host B [04:12] "Morrissey said he was suffering from sleep deprivation, disturbed during the night by loud music and megaphone announcements that were audible from inside his hotel room."
— Host D [04:38]

• Mockery: Tom continues to criticize Morrissey's alleged need "a year to recover" and his distinctive hairstyle. [06:11 onward]

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3. Nostalgic Technology Talk

• TV Chairs in Old Bus Stations: An aside about coin-operated TV chairs at bus stations, and whether you could still get a signal. [08:09–08:56]

“Wouldn’t that be a great gift for somebody who's hard to buy for—a pay-as-you-go TV?”
— Host A [09:05]

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4. Music Tangents & British Accents

• Wang Chung & Musical Eponymy: Discussion about bands with songs named after themselves, and the "eponymous" concept. The hosts sample and critique Wang Chung’s “Space Junk” and “Dance Hall Days” live.
• British-Accented Songs: Spirited debate about which hit songs show the most obvious UK accents (e.g., The Proclaimers, Blur's “Parklife,” The Kinks, Pet Shop Boys' “West End Girls”).

“Which is the most ‘English’ accent song that was a hit?”
— Host F [33:54] “Penny Lane!”
— Various, [42:06]

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5. Listener Letters: Comedy, Pets, and Childhood Memories

• Letters Section: The show routinely breaks for listener emails, sparking tangents about:
  • Eating Oreos (with and without lactose intolerance)
  • Childhood neighbors
  • Chinchillas as pets (Christy Lee once had a chinchilla for nearly 20 years)
  • Buying a house with bird droppings everywhere
  • Nostalgic vinyl records on cereal boxes
  • ASMR and odd “audio erotica” on old magazine records
  • The “tingle moment” of first sexual awakening (e.g., Marilyn Monroe, Tanya Tucker on Hee Haw)
  • Listener favorite comedians and weird pet names
  • Catty banter about staff relaxation and favorite pieces of furniture [22:28–25:14; 76:31–77:03; 81:41–83:44]

“I think everyone here in the studio would agree on this except you. You seem fixated on hair...”
— Host A, ribbing Host B’s criticism of Morrissey [10:20]

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6. Food, Snack, and Pet Peeve Debates

• Favorite Snacks: Elaborate instructions are given on how to enhance cookies & cream ice cream by adding crushed Oreos.
• PB&J & Buttered Crackers: Intense debate over slice order in PB&J, and which side of a saltine to butter (salt side up or down). [63:00–65:16]
• Tipping Culture: Riffing on how random businesses (like vending machines and vet clinics) now expect digital tips, with JJ Watt’s poll about tipping for self-service food. [84:04–86:40]

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7. Sports & Entertainment Crossovers

• Big 12 Tournament Floor Fiasco: The Big 12 basketball tournament switched from a high-tech, slippery glass LED floor to traditional hardwood due to player complaints. [102:25–103:34]
• NBA and NHL Tech: Speculation about the future of digital video courts and in-game tech, including the dream of a football camera inside the ball. [104:05–105:07]
• Classic TV Guest Stars: Nostalgia trip for Gilligan’s Island stars appearing on ALF, crossovers like Batman & Green Hornet, and the limitations of their superpowers. [48:06–49:41]
• Unique NFL Stories: Kyler Murray’s journey as a newly-minted Minnesota Viking is discussed, with recurring jokes about his height (peewee league photo) and name spelling. [107:49–108:53]

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8. Pet Names & Puppy Advice

• Popular Puppy Names: Top 10 include Luna, Daisy, Lucy, Charlie, Milo, Cooper, Teddy, Bella, Penny, and Willow. Advice: Pick two-syllable, distinctive names not sounding like commands. [145:00–149:36]

“Avoid names that rhyme with sit, stay, or down... can cause confusion during training.”
— Christy Lee [147:52]

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9. Health, Wellness, and Funny Science Stories

• Multivitamins & Aging: A recent study suggests daily multivitamins may slow biological aging, sparking debate about supplement efficacy and adult use of Flintstones vitamins. [134:47–136:33]
• Viral Misinfo: Coconut Oil as Lube: Doctors warn against using coconut oil as sexual lubricant due to risks for vaginal health and weakened condoms.
  • Notable doctor quote: “It will wreck your vagina and weaken condoms.” [150:04]

“Ladies, it will wreck your vagina.”
— Dr. Kate McLean (via Christy Lee) [150:04]

• Rage-Baiting Trends: Jess and Josh explain the trend of posting fake life-hacks (like using odd foods as lube) just to garner engagement and monetize outrage. [153:09–153:45]

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10. Animal Celebrity & Viral News

• Pig Instagram Star: A Vietnamese pot-bellied pig named Merlin breaks the Guinness World Record with 1.1 million Instagram followers. The segment launches into playful jokes about animal celebrity, who’s making money off the pig—and Instagram-famous animal owners. [108:53–113:01]

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11. Tipping, Service, and Community Culture

• Restaurant Tipping: The shows dives deep into the modern tipping dilemma—why self-service stations ask for gratuity, the psychology of up-front tips, stories from food service work.
• Audience Tips to Stand-Up Comics: Pat and Josh share stories about receiving direct cash tips (and, in Josh’s case, even selling his boxer shorts to a couple), and muse about fan culture. [95:52–98:34]

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12. "Hear Me Out" Unconventional Crushes

• Oddball Attractions: Listeners and cast share their odd celebrity crushes (“hear me out” style)—from O.J. Simpson (pre-scandal) and Jim Belushi to cartoon characters like Jessica Rabbit. [118:44–121:41]

“I was wild about Rachel Ray… is that unconventional?”
— Josh Arnold [119:44]

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13. Odds and Ends, Classic B&T Tangents

• Bus Route and Neighborhood Rants: Tom rails against a “needless” new city bus route that’s ruined his commute, leading to jokes about “driving through the hood” and neighborhood geography. [70:39–71:09; 79:08–80:10]
• Classic Jokes: They return to a favorite Sinatra tipping story and other “legendary” anecdotes. [101:29–102:07]

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14. Today in History & Pop Culture

• L. Ron Hubbard’s Birthday: Leads to riffs about Scientology, famous “lapsed” religions, and William H. Macy vs. Bill Macy. [161:08–163:29]
• TV Debuts: “TJ Hooker” debuted in 1982; various TV trivia follows.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

Morrissey Debate

• “He’s such an ass. He’s a talentless version of Brian Ferry!” — Host B [04:12]
• “He is quoted by the Associated Press as saying it’ll take him a year to recover from one bad night of sleep.” — Host B [11:06]

On Coconut Oil as Lube

• “It’ll wreck your vagina and weaken condoms.” — Dr. Kate McLean, via Christy Lee [150:04]
• “Don’t use garlic, yogurt, vinegar, essential oils, hydrogen peroxide, or DIY douches down there, either.” — Dr. McLean [151:59]

On Naming Dogs

• “Two syllables hit the sweet spot for canine communication… Avoid rhymes with sit, stay, or down.” — Christy Lee [147:52]

Tips and Standup

• “Someone offered to buy my boxers at a show—for $300. They were laundered, not game-worn.” — Josh Arnold [97:15]

Friday Traditions

• “Happy Fry yay! …Does that mean you get lucky on Fridays?” — Host A, reading listener letter [44:02–44:55]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:25 – 02:25: Haywood Banks revenge song
• 04:01 – 06:45: Morrissey sleep/cancellation debate
• 08:09 – 08:56: Coin-op TV chair nostalgia
• 13:03 – 13:54: Dogs and cheeseburgers comedy
• 22:28 – 25:14: Christy’s chinchilla story
• 33:54 – 35:07: Songs with heavy British accents
• 63:00 – 65:16: The buttered saltine controversy
• 84:04 – 86:40: Tipping kiosk quandaries, JJ Watt poll
• 102:25 – 103:34: Big 12 changes tournament floor
• 108:53 – 113:01: Viral pig breaks Instagram record
• 150:04 – 153:45: Coconut oil lubricant myth-busting

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Tone, Style & Cast

The cast’s tone is irreverent, quick-witted, and heavily sarcastic—with a focus on back-and-forth needling and digressive riffing, but always returning to their main “bit” or segment. The regular cast includes:

• Tom (the cerebral curmudgeon/instigator)
• Chick McGee (sports, dry one-liners)
• Christy Lee (news, warm and practical)
• Josh Arnold (comic, lighthearted, frequent self-roaster)
• Ace Cosby (easygoing, music and culture references)
• Pat Godwin (music, song parodies)
• Frequent guests like Jess Hooker

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a classic sample of The BOB & TOM Show’s appeal: layered bits, inside jokes, sometimes juvenile but sharp writing, genuine chemistry, and a refusal to treat any topic too seriously. If you want a bit of pop culture, sports, pet advice, trivia, and a lot of hearty laughs for your Friday morning drive, this is your show.

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For New Listeners

You’ll fit right in even without knowing every in-joke, as the show’s topics are relatable and fun. Come for the jokes—and maybe leave with a new puppy name, a tip for avoiding coconut oil, and a reminder to tip your delivery person (and possibly your favorite morning DJs).

Transcript

[A]

It's the bob and tom show.

[B]

Okay, here we go.

[C]

You can be mean to me but mean as you want to be. Just say anything that you like. You can be nasty and catty and cruel and unusual. Twist my nose with your fingers. Trip me while I carry liquids. But as you pin me down my arm's down on the ground. As your spit drips into my face Deep in the back of your mind Remember at some point you'll have to fall asleep.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And when you fall asleep into your room I'll creep. Did something move in the dark neath your bed? And then a voice you hear calling out loud and clear. A voice that is your own. A voice that's saying. Things that one can do With Bengate Nair and super glue. A package of indelible dye. Why would a guy such as I ever buy indelible dye? Blue as the sky. Don't ask me why. This catalog I found Sells roaches by the pound. Millipedes, Centipedes too They say the meek shall inherit because they stay up late and change the will. And when you fall asleep into your room I'll creep. Did something move in the dark neath your bed? And then a voice you hear it's calling loud and clear. A voice that is your own. A voice that's saying

[B]

that's all I have.

[A]

I love that. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios as we celebrate Fry Yay. It's the Bob and Tom Show

[D]

Friday

[A]

in a vision in titty pink. It's Christy Lee.

[B]

Now you gotta spell that. T I, D, Y. T, I, D, D, Y.

[A]

It's a color.

[B]

It is a color. It's. Look it up. I think you can go to Sherwin Williams. Get that.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

For your walls.

[A]

There's. Hey, Josh. Arnold.

[E]

Hi there.

[A]

My favorite flannel that he wears. Red.

[D]

There.

[A]

There's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.

[B]

Or a little bit of Haywood Banks. Yeah, it's nice to hear that. I love that song.

[D]

Me, too.

[B]

About revenge. Let's see now. I look around the room and I see everyone looks healthy and happy. It is Friday. We don't join the. Don't do that.

[F]

I like Friday.

[B]

Do you really know your hat backwards and just become a total douche?

[E]

Well, not.

[B]

Why.

[G]

Why.

[A]

Why is that? Why you. I react that way.

[B]

I hear that. I realize this is a person I don't need to talk to. Okay. Let's just move right on.

[A]

There's a. You know the guides on the various televisions or they have There's a program that says Friday, and they call it welcome Friday.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

I think it's one of the Today shows or something.

[B]

The channel I won't have to watch.

[D]

Okay, Douches. Did you see the Morrissey Story this morning?

[B]

Oh, y.

[H]

My favorite.

[B]

Oh, Pat and I, we had an argument about it.

[A]

Is Morrissey Douche.

[D]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Oh, he's such an ass. He's a talentless version of Brian Ferry, one of the great. Who I love from Roxy.

[D]

Yeah, I'm a big fan.

[F]

There's a great album by the Smiths.

[E]

I totally agree. What did Morrissey do?

[D]

Oh, well, he called off a concert in Valencia after festivities in the city kept him awake all night and he couldn't sleep. It disturbed his sleep. Oh, yes.

[B]

He's a.

[E]

Seems like it might be diva Douchebag.

[D]

Morrissey said he was suffering from sleep deprivation, disturbed during the night by loud music and megaphone announcements that were audible from inside his hotel room.

[E]

So he wants to be able to give the people the best show he can.

[H]

Oh, come on.

[B]

He just only gets publicity for douche moves like this.

[F]

Well, he canceled.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Yes, he canceled.

[F]

He's ruined forever, he says.

[A]

What about the people who bought tickets?

[E]

Well, they'll be able to see him when he's in a better place.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

The only.

[H]

Yeah.

[D]

Like Paris, I believe.

[A]

I think I'm going to side with Josh on this.

[H]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

I mean, you need your rest. We. You of all people, Tom, know that this sounds like.

[B]

I never get any rest.

[A]

That sounds like something I do.

[B]

But I don't quit. I don't not show up.

[A]

Yeah, but you tell us to not show up all the time.

[B]

He's one of these guys that only exists because rock critics liked him. And people like to read about him

[E]

and go, see, man. Have you heard how soon is Now?

[D]

He does have some great music.

[A]

I think you're putting a lot more importance on rock critics than they.

[B]

Oh, that's for sure.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Other than Lester Bangs, can you name any?

[B]

Oh, Robert Crisco. He's not. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah. His family.

[B]

But Pat and I decided we wouldn't do that story because not enough people know who Morrissey is.

[D]

Oh, come on.

[B]

When have you heard one of his songs? On the radio? Radio?

[D]

Well, he. People know him as the lead singer of the Smiths.

[B]

I don't think so.

[E]

It's okay. They do. They do.

[D]

They do.

[B]

Just because I still think he's a douchebag.

[E]

Because he was not feeling well and he had to oh, you.

[B]

You traveled all the way across the country to come see me and bought tickets and got a hotel room.

[E]

That's where.

[B]

Eric Clapton.

[E]

I like to hear your response. If he. If he had a rough night and he couldn't perform the next day, I'd like to hear how.

[B]

Yeah.

[H]

What would you say?

[B]

Yeah, let's just hope he's back on the H.

[A]

Well, there's a Clapton.

[B]

Those heroin. Yours were good, right, Eric?

[A]

There's a Clapton documentary flying out around there. It's wonderful.

[F]

12 bar blues.

[A]

I don't know. Something like that. It's really good.

[B]

Well, yeah. I got to decide if I'm gonna go see Aaron.

[A]

Including a video of the. The heroin. Heroin years on stage and sweating, cursing at the audience and.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, he was pretty rough at the concert for Bangladesh.

[F]

They had to get him stuff.

[D]

Oh, really?

[F]

He didn't get dope sick?

[B]

Yeah, sad, sad. But he's doing great now.

[F]

Now, why didn't Morrissey just nap in the afternoon? The show would have been at night the next day.

[D]

I don't know.

[B]

Maybe he hadn't gotten any publicity for being a douchebag in a few years.

[A]

Yeah, but you.

[E]

I feel for him. The man lives to be on stage and he couldn't do what he loves.

[B]

I think he lives there. Get new haircuts.

[A]

I knew this was you throw the curve off. You never miss work, even at the expense of your co workers making them sick when you come in.

[B]

That's right.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

If you were up all night, you'd be here.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

That's the kind of guy you are.

[B]

You'd be you. I've actually done that.

[A]

Telling us all about it.

[B]

That is the. By the way, staying up all night and trying to do anything. Never remember that sometimes in college, I mean, pulling a so called all nighter doesn't. Doesn't work.

[E]

No. I think I did it once and went, oh, well, that was idiotic.

[F]

Kills you.

[A]

My first job, Welch, West Virginia. We stayed up. I was so excited to be on the radio. I stayed up all night one night and the only place that was open in Welch was the bus station. So we went down there and had dinner and it was great. In the middle of the night. It was all right.

[B]

There was. There was a period of time they

[A]

had TVs with a quarter. You put a quarter in them and they'll.

[E]

No way.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Could we get one of those?

[D]

A TV chair?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

It was a TV chair. There has to be a warehouse in New Jersey full of Those things?

[E]

Yes.

[B]

For those that don't know. Have you never seen one? Oh, it's. It was like those built those desks sometimes that you'd go to school and they'd have. Some of them would have the desk that had the. The chair attached to them.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

This was a chair with a TV attached. Black and white. And yet how long did the quarter last?

[A]

For like 12 and a half minutes or something.

[B]

And would a TV of that era still pick up a signal?

[A]

I don't.

[B]

Are there enough television stations that have a. I don't think broadcast signal anymore?

[A]

No. You'd have to get a converter or something. I would.

[B]

Wouldn't that be a great thing? They want to come over and watch the game.

[A]

They come over.

[F]

You're great on terminal tv.

[A]

That'd be a great gift for somebody who's hard to buy for. Get them a pay as you go tv.

[B]

Some dude who's super rich and he's got. He's got like a movie theater in his basement. You give him one of those.

[A]

Beautiful.

[B]

That'd be kind of cool.

[E]

That would be kind of fun.

[B]

So anyway, so we decided not to do the Morrissey story.

[D]

Yeah. Sorry.

[E]

Yeah, that's good. I think it would just cause disagreement.

[D]

Yeah, I was. I wasn't in on that. Privy.

[A]

Of course. Hindsight's 20 20.

[B]

Okay. He literally said it'll take me a year to recover.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Okay. Hang on. I was on Josh's side.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Now wait a minute.

[D]

That is the quality associated Breast story that I had. See, it's kind of short. Did not have that.

[B]

Okay.

[F]

I read what Tom said though.

[B]

Yeah. The 66 year old singer said his night was quote, an indescribable hell.

[E]

Oh, man.

[B]

Of course, you can't describe it. You can'. Write lyrics either. He added, it'll take me one year to recover. And that is an understatement. Where can I get my stupid haircut again?

[E]

I don't think he said that last part.

[B]

Okay. He didn't.

[A]

He's a stupid about his haircut.

[F]

It's a cool haircut.

[D]

I don't know what he's.

[A]

Would you agree?

[F]

And his lyrics aren't stupid. Have you not heard Meat is Murder?

[B]

Profound. I think everyone TS Elliot rolled over his grave.

[A]

I think everyone here in the studio would agree on this except you. You seem fixated on hair. You mention it quite often.

[B]

I'm just saying I think he's one of these artists whose haircut is more important than his band. Let's just move forward this is why

[A]

he's. He's on Graham Norton all the time. That's a British talk show. He's great.

[B]

Yes. I say I'd open my mouth, but it's full of semen.

[D]

Oh, gee. What?

[E]

He may be right about that.

[A]

Well, that. That.

[E]

It does kind of look like that

[A]

is at least an incident.

[B]

But I'm so. I'm so effete. It's my own.

[E]

I need my body to reabsorb it so that I don't lose any of my essence.

[B]

It'll take a year to recover. He is quoted. He is quoted by the Associated Press as saying it'll take him a year to recover from one bad night of sleep.

[E]

Feel bad for.

[B]

Come on, man up, will you, Mandrake?

[A]

It's our essence.

[B]

Oh, nice quote. This has been a nice break here.

[F]

I have a letter. Tom is right. I have never heard of Morrison.

[B]

Yes. I just don't think it's a band that gets a lot of airplay. But even the Smith. So we'll move forward again. Pat and I talked about this at 4 o' clock this morning. Pat goes, are you gonna do the Morrison story? No, no. No one knows who he is and I hate him. And it would be. It'll come off wrong.

[F]

Where.

[E]

Where was he that he had to cancel this concert?

[D]

He was in Valencia, but he drove from Milan. He drove from Milan all the way to Valencia.

[A]

Valencia.

[E]

Tired.

[A]

Valencia, number one export.

[D]

Oranges. Oranges, of course. In Spain.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

No kidding.

[A]

Oh, yeah. They're up to their armpits.

[E]

Sweet. Valencia oranges.

[B]

Sweet.

[A]

Sweet.

[F]

I could have taken a train to Spain. Because the train in Spain stays mainly

[A]

on the track I'd never been.

[B]

But I take it back. I'd rather listen to a Morrissey album than hear Pat.

[F]

That's actually a Morrissey lyric. I was quoting a lyric.

[A]

I've never been to Spain, but I kind of. I don't know why.

[B]

I don't like that song.

[A]

I love.

[B]

Okay, let's. No, I don't. I'm sorry.

[A]

They say the ladies are insane there.

[B]

Let's move forward.

[A]

They sure know how to use it.

[B]

I've got. There's a funny thing that happened. I was looking at this one story this morning. We have the top 10 puppy names. There's. There's a very weird correspondence between puppy names and my kids names. Did you notice that, Pat, rather unusually, and other members of my.

[A]

Talk to your dogs just like you do your kids. Like you do your dog. There's no. Your. Your significant other. You. Hi, Sweetie.

[B]

How are you, baby?

[A]

Same thing?

[B]

No, my dog pushes back, especially the big one.

[A]

What do you mean, pushes back?

[B]

I'll say, good morning. And he'll go, what's so good about it? What do you mean? He goes, I'm hungry. You didn't give me breakfast this morning.

[A]

You hear that?

[B]

Then he goes, what are you talking about? I'll say. Then he says, I'm supposed to be eating more cheeseburgers. What? Then I'll say, really? I'll go, yes. No lettuce, no tomato. It's very specific about that when it comes. Do you have one of those dogs? They have the ability. You could give a dog a Big Mac and suddenly there's this chewing, and then all of a sudden all the lettuce and tomato comes out. Or a Burger King burger with tomato. It's an art form really. It's like when you take a. A prune and eat it and you're able to spit the pit out. Dogs somehow gonna get rid of the lettuce. I'm sorry. It's time not to talk about. To our. To our car girl. Yes, the girl in the pink with the scarf. Looking great today. I thought you were good. Did you get your bangs cut?

[D]

I got my whole hair. All of the hairs cut.

[A]

And today it's not Hyundai. It's Hanier. Oh, is it Hanye?

[B]

Wow. Could you go fire yourself?

[A]

What's the matter?

[D]

The Hanye getaway sand.

[B]

Don't do this.

[A]

She's on board.

[D]

Has a deal that you are not going to regret. That's right. You can get great deals on their most popular models at Hyundai, including the adventure ready SUVs like the Hyundai Santa Fe or Santa Fe hybrid, the Tucson or my favorite in the car I drive every single day, my Tucson hybrid. Plus there's Hyundai's bold and stylish Elantra for those of you who like the sedan. And it's loaded with the latest in gear. I'll tell you what, it's like a rocket ship. Or the.

[B]

They have the snow button.

[D]

Yeah, my car has a snow button.

[B]

I don't want to get you confused, by the way, because it would as cool as it would be if you press the button and it made it snow inside the car. It doesn't.

[D]

No, it doesn't. It goes into snow mode so you have great traction.

[A]

That would be badass if that was an option.

[B]

Can you imagine?

[D]

My car has sports.

[B]

You could. You could make health. You press the rain button and all of a sudden your car's all wet.

[A]

Inside.

[B]

They don't. They don't do that.

[D]

No, they do not for a reason.

[B]

I'm guessing.

[A]

You ever push a button and make it all wet inside? Ever do that?

[D]

Right button.

[B]

If you push it, it will edit that out. Could we move forward, please?

[A]

What happened?

[D]

The all electric Ionic 5 or the Ionic 9 is just waiting for you at Hyundai. So get to your local Hyundai dealer. Get away with a deal you'll love during the Hyundai getaway sales event. That's Hyundai USA.com for all the details.

[B]

Hyundai USA.com coming up, puppy names and other important news stories. Sports, we do have sporting news. We have a scientific study of the O face if you will.

[A]

Show her my old face.

[B]

Yeah. This is kind of interesting actually. We have a important frivolous lawsuit and a judge I'd like to thank. Also coming up, there's a viral thing out there about a lubricant for the boudoir and they, they quote a gynecologist with an emphatic don't do this. Wait till you hear the verbiage that she uses.

[A]

Is it motor oil?

[B]

No, but I mean a little bit of 30 weight in a jam, I'm guessing. Or you could use would be a very bad idea. I don't know much about biology, but I'm guessing introducing STP into your ass probably is not smart.

[A]

And in sports. So when is a basketball game not a basketball game? When they don't have a floor. That's right. We'll talk about it. Okay. All right.

[B]

We are going to talk about that right here in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios where this will be the Bob and Tom Show. Did you know Fast Growing Trees is America's largest and most trusted online nursery with thousands of trees and plants and over 2 million happy customers. They have all the plants your yard or home needs, including fruit trees, privacy trees, shrubs and house plants, all grown with care and guaranteed to arrive healthy.

[E]

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[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee at the news desk.

[D]

Hello, Chick.

[A]

Pat Godwin is here. There's Josh Arnold.

[G]

Hi.

[A]

There's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick McGee at TheOrangensouls.com Sports Daz. Hello, Tom.

[B]

Hello, Chick McGee. Let's get to some Bob and Tom

[A]

mail emails from our listeners brought to you by Hyundai. Get into the Hyundai getaway sales event and get away with a deal. So right it almost feels wrong. Visit Hyundai USA.com for details. And that is on your computer.

[B]

Could we do a thing where if one Hyundai every year comes with Christy Lee for a day, we'd have to talk some random. Some random winner.

[D]

Sure. I'll ride around in a Christy.

[B]

She'll read news to you as you drive to work.

[A]

Well, there would have to be, there would have to be some sort of compensation package for Christie.

[B]

We'll talk to him. We have something we call Thomisms on occasion where I can't remember what a word is and I just throw it out there. This just arrived. I just heard a British person refer to Oreos as chocolate sandwich biscuits. I kind of like that. I say, do you have any of

[E]

those chocolate sandwich biscuits?

[B]

Delightful. But the best thing to do with Oreos, of course, is crush them and put them on ice cream.

[A]

Yep.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

Is there any argument there?

[A]

You get the cookies and cream ice cream, you take it home, you melt it a little in the microwave, then you get your package of Oreos, hit them with a hammer, and then sprinkle all of them.

[B]

This is the whole package?

[A]

Whole package.

[B]

Okay. And how much ice cream we starting with?

[A]

A quart gallon.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. And if you don't finish that before you go to bed, you can't go to bed. Boy.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

That is going to be good.

[E]

That would be crippling diarrhea for me.

[B]

Really?

[E]

Oh, like stomach pains beyond belief.

[B]

Really? You have an unusual gut.

[E]

I do.

[B]

We should point that out. I'm not trying to be mean here. You.

[E]

But you were until you said you weren't trying to one, aren't you?

[B]

I think one could interpret that as being mean. And I didn't want them to. You have some. You have some digestive issues.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Aren't you on record of saying you will not tolerate lactose?

[E]

Depends on what it is. In that case, no, there would be no tolerance.

[B]

Now, my neighbor growing up, Mr. Osher.

[A]

Yeah, sure.

[B]

I didn't. I'm not sure. Great guy. Yeah, great guy.

[A]

Apparently Billy Osha robbed a bank, didn't he?

[B]

No, he didn't.

[F]

Stop it.

[B]

Oh, God. He's a wonderful guy.

[A]

What's he doing now?

[B]

Yeah, probably calling his lawyer presidential. The point is, his dad, apparently if he. If he drank chocolate milk, would have excessive flatulence, as I was.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Well, you gotta. You must plan for that then.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hey, Tom's. Tommy's spending the night. Dad, you want to load up on the chocolate milk? I would, absolutely.

[B]

And then when they remodeled their house, he gave me their shade lounge because I loved it so much and I had it forever.

[A]

I see.

[D]

It was the indoor one or outdoor?

[B]

Indoor. It was the greatest piece of furniture I've ever had. I wish I still had it. I mean, I had it for years.

[E]

That's nice.

[A]

I see you.

[B]

He knew that I. He knew that I loved it, so he gave it to me.

[D]

Was it velvet?

[B]

No, no, it was just. It was this upholstered shade lounge. God, it was great.

[E]

But he could have gas problems.

[B]

Well, he. I'm sure A's. You raise a good point. I'm sure that it had been. Now that I think about it.

[A]

I see you.

[D]

A hole in his upholstery.

[A]

I see you on the chaise petting a very small dog and.

[B]

No, I've always.

[E]

I've always come in.

[B]

Always had big dogs. Until recently.

[A]

Please come in. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Petting a large dog.

[A]

I'm Percy Dove, tonsil and top. Please come in.

[D]

I just like to visualize you relaxing. That probably hasn't happened since you got rid of the Chase Lounge.

[B]

That's it. You figured it out. Time to get over the other side. A shade?

[D]

Yes, in my bedroom. But it's velvet green.

[B]

A shade is like a chair with a built in hassle.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, walk us through that.

[B]

Not everyone knows what a shade. Maybe the people don't know who.

[E]

Have you guys heard the song Shay's Long by the by Wet Leg?

[D]

No, I haven't heard.

[E]

On the Shays Long. On the Shays Long. On the Shays Long. All day long. On the Shays Long. Yeah, that's essentially the chorus.

[A]

Now, what leg is that the original lineup?

[E]

It is, yeah. Yeah. They're very new.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

[B]

Do you have a letter over there?

[A]

I do. Tom. Dear Bob and Tom show. Hello, radio legends. Over the years, you've all done so many great things for me. This is Nick in Oregon. Oh, sure, Nick, you introduced me to a lot of great comedians. Last weekend, my group of friends and I decided to actually leave our suburban bubble and drive a whopping 20 minutes to Portland to see Chad Daniels. Oh, good.

[E]

That's a good decision.

[A]

Yep. He was fantastic. I've also heard you all hint at coming to Boise at some point. I'll be coming there probably in my off hours. I don't know if it's organized as a group outing or not.

[E]

Would you drive from Oregon to Boise?

[A]

Huh?

[D]

When are you going?

[A]

That's none of your business. I will gladly drive six hours to Boise or one hour plane flight to see you guys.

[B]

All right, thank you very much.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

If you're traveling today, by the way, a little parenthetical note. Tim Cavanaugh tonight, he'll be at the. It's a special benefit for the Wausau School Foundation. If you happen to be in Wausau, he's gonna do a special show at the Jefferson Street Inn. So that's some fun stuff with the little Timmy Cavanaugh.

[A]

Is that on Jefferson Street? It is. Yeah, yeah. Yes, yes.

[B]

We have another letter over there. Christy Lee.

[D]

Yeah, I do. Longtime listener, first time emailer. This is Emily. Said she was watching the show on YouTube and noticed my cute Justin Chillin mug, which I have every day. She said it made her smile and immediately think of her animal critter creature loving daughter who lives in Germany with her husband and they're currently stationed there in the U.S. army. She said she went online immediately, bought the mug and sent it to her with a little note telling her that her mama was thinking of her. Yes, thank you for your service and that's very sweetest.

[A]

Guest listeners, Christy has a Just Chin Chillin.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Mug.

[B]

Oh, good.

[D]

One of our listeners sent me.

[B]

This is because you used to have a pet chinchilla.

[D]

I did, Emma.

[B]

We voted and decided the best type of chinchilla is the coat.

[A]

No, I will never forget this.

[D]

I want another one.

[A]

The three of us, long ago, we're all standing in the break room during commercials and Christy comes in and goes, well, well, I've decided to pull the trigger on the chinchilla. And she walks out of the room and Tom and I are standing There. And Tom goes. This is gonna be good.

[B]

How long did that thing live?

[D]

She lived almost 20 years.

[B]

And it took over your dining room, am I correct?

[D]

Yeah. Then when we moved, she was in the family room. She likes to be around people. She liked to be.

[A]

Really? You. You knew that how?

[D]

Pardon?

[A]

Would he wag his tail or.

[D]

Well, no, she's just. They're creatures that like to be a part of. Actually, they like to be in pairs or a pack and. I know.

[A]

Kidding.

[B]

Like a pillow that breathes.

[E]

I consider myself lucky to have met Emma.

[D]

Yeah, she's very.

[F]

Are they cuddlers? They like.

[D]

She wasn't.

[A]

You know, they don't.

[D]

They can be.

[A]

They don't. You're not supposed to. They can't get wet. No, they cannot get wet in volcanic ash.

[E]

Yeah, bet.

[B]

Didn't you know a girl like that? Oh, yeah.

[D]

A couple that can make a mess, by the way.

[A]

I bet it can. And it's not inexpensive.

[B]

I like a girl and I'm done with her. I got a mop to pelvic floor.

[E]

You know, we gotta stop letting Tyrone in.

[A]

Like, who is that guy? Is it Tyrone? Have we named him?

[D]

I have a friend. Baby chinchillas right now. And I want one, so.

[B]

Oh, good. Yeah, great. Yeah. By the way, wait a minute. Andy's calling. Yeah, his lawyer.

[A]

We must start the Tyrone minute. Absolutely.

[E]

I bet it'll last as long as this show.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, right.

[B]

And another thing, we've been talking for some reason about meteorites and space junk because there was a. Last weekend there was a really cool meteor thing that flew over northern Europe, right?

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

There's a lot of video of it. It's really neat.

[D]

And dumped into a house in Germany.

[E]

Saw a bunch of meteors on the news flying over Beirut. I mean, there must have been like.

[F]

Oh my God, one after the other.

[A]

Yeah, really? And they were good size too. You could see them when they hit the ground.

[D]

Right. Well, well, well.

[B]

Dude, he boating yesterday.

[A]

Oh, that's right. Hey, Wang Chung has a song called Space Junk. Well, pretty good as I recall.

[B]

This is from Mark. In Greensburg, Kansas, we have what is billed as the world's largest palasite meteorite. It was on display when a tornado wiped out most of the town. However, since it weighs over a thousand pounds, be honest, all the tornado could do was knock it off its stand. Oh, I'm trying to be do something worse than what Josh just did.

[A]

Now, the. What. What's it called again?

[B]

It is called a palasite meteorite.

[A]

Can we go See that Tonight, the palasite meteorite.

[E]

You want to go to the Palisade tonight? I know this is just going to cause a fight.

[A]

It just feels right.

[E]

Well, we might.

[A]

That'd be such a sight. We could take a flight.

[B]

We're throwing a near rhyme light. You said what a life.

[F]

Light is what I said.

[D]

He said light.

[B]

Oh, sorry.

[F]

You're the one with the hearing issues, apparently.

[A]

But you're the one with the speaking issues.

[E]

Don't be contrite.

[D]

You're the one with the attitude issues.

[B]

So why would it be. What?

[A]

I have an attitude?

[E]

I thought he said what a delight. Which would have counted.

[B]

Oh, that would have been a good.

[F]

Oh, now we have a fight.

[B]

Okay, he already said that. Okay.

[E]

Nobody understands your plight now.

[A]

Oh, here we go. Wang Chung. And it's space junk. Oh, yeah, this is good. That's got a long intro you're not gonna like.

[B]

Let's skip the intro.

[E]

Double it.

[B]

Can't you move ahead?

[D]

Oh, oh, yeah.

[F]

Gonna feel it.

[B]

Wait a minute.

[A]

How about that?

[B]

I've already kicked the accelerator in a little bit. I'm going about three miles an hour faster when this thing kicks in.

[A]

Wang Chung. Donnie Wang and Keith Chung. Is that a lot of this?

[B]

Do you have any idea how much longer this goes?

[A]

Nine minutes.

[B]

Nice vocal.

[E]

It's just like, relatively speaking, newer Wang

[G]

Chung,

[A]

I think it is. Yeah. From 97, it says.

[E]

Wow. I didn't. I thought they kind of called it quits.

[A]

Right.

[B]

89 isn't their big hit. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

After they got everyone to Wang Chung, I thought they packed it up. Yeah.

[B]

What is the word? Eponymous.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Where your song is the same as the song title, is the same as your brand name.

[E]

But then they had dance all days.

[B]

That was a good one.

[D]

That was a good one.

[A]

Oh, I loved it.

[E]

Let's go.

[A]

I like Wang Chun.

[B]

That sounds good.

[F]

Yeah, it does sound good.

[A]

You know, I don't recommend bad songs. Okay.

[B]

I thought it was good.

[A]

Damn right it is.

[B]

In any event, we continue our discussion about space junk. We did that. That one last. Was it Saturday morning? Early Saturday, early Sunday. It hit some guy's house.

[F]

Yeah. In Germany.

[B]

And didn't kill anybody, fortunately, because there's nobody in the room at the time.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And then the. That satellite fell down a couple days ago.

[D]

But that was into the Pacific Ocean, they think.

[E]

Satellite fall down, go boom.

[B]

And what was. Remember, like the odds. I think the odds were something like 1 in 2400 that it would hit somebody.

[E]

Yeah. I think 4200. And that's 2.

[B]

Yeah, I bet. To me, it's not quite. Get a helmet, do you.

[A]

Are you still standing by your statement that there are thousands of pieces of space junk that are going to fall to Earth eventually?

[B]

There are probably tens of thousands of pieces. Tens of thousands Junk. And most of them will. Will on their way into the Earth's atmosphere. They'll disintegrate.

[A]

Well, that's not what you said, everyone.

[B]

Yeah, but they're concerned that one of these days one might hit an airplane. One of the larger ones.

[A]

Well, it would have to be larger.

[B]

Yeah. There's a lot of junk floating around in space, and they're very concerned that it might hit one like this. The. The Sky Lab or whatever. What's the one. That's the lump of the space.

[D]

International Space Station, you know, that could

[B]

do a lot of damage.

[A]

Our atmosphere is a harsh m. When it's. You're entering it, it just eats you up.

[E]

I wasn't worried about space junk until I saw the movie Gravity. When a tiny piece of space junk really,

[A]

man.

[E]

Really changes the whole.

[A]

And then they fool you and think that. Spoiler alert. Clooney's still alive. He's not.

[E]

Oh, for God's sake.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[B]

Oh, yeah. That pissed me off.

[E]

Spoiler alert. And not give the people time.

[F]

No, no, you.

[B]

When a movie does a crap move like that, you can't.

[E]

No, you can't.

[A]

Thank you, Tom.

[D]

Oh, boy.

[E]

Ruiners. I work with ruiners.

[B]

Like in the Nixon movie. They have him say something Nixon never said. Come on, you can't do that.

[E]

It's not a spoiler alert. That's just. That's just.

[A]

I've never been.

[B]

That's just lying.

[A]

I've never been more terrified in a movie, though.

[E]

Just go watch the Frost Nixon interviews.

[B]

See, I didn't spoil it because I wasn't gonna say the name of the movie.

[A]

And. Well, what do you think?

[E]

The Frost talking to an a hole.

[D]

Can't we all just get along?

[F]

Not on Friday.

[A]

Shut up over there.

[B]

Just say Friday and I'll punch you.

[D]

I'm not gonna say it.

[A]

You know, Wang Chungle put smile on our. All our faces.

[B]

That's a cool wave.

[A]

A hint. I like space junk. We're talking about space junk. Yeah.

[F]

Cool riff.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, it is. But I mean, I.

[F]

We're here learning about.

[A]

Wait a minute.

[D]

And you learned about what?

[A]

Would you consider Wang Chung's hit? Wang Chung's. Wang Chung. Wang Chung's hit Everybody.

[D]

Wang Chung.

[F]

I hope Dance all Day is not The Wang Chun.

[A]

You know, it's actually.

[E]

Everybody have fun tonight.

[A]

Keith Chung was Connie Chung's uncle.

[B]

No kidding.

[D]

Yeah. There was a guy that was in a band here that ended up being the drummer for Wang Chung.

[A]

No kidding.

[B]

I'm trying to find a little Wang Chung for you, Lil Wayne.

[F]

Well, you cannot find that. Oh, there it is.

[E]

Here's Dance All Day.

[A]

Are you playing that, too? We both hit it at the same time.

[B]

Are you playing?

[A]

I, I'm not. I. Stop mine.

[B]

Yeah. This is a great song.

[D]

Take your baby by the hand in

[A]

face craze gaze Take your baby by the hand.

[B]

Oh, great. You know what's cool about this to me, Josh, is when sometimes you can tell a singer is English.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

A lot of times you can. You know what I'm saying? With an English accent. That, that you can kind of hear that there.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

I assume he's English, but if he's not, he's.

[E]

If he's not, I would have thought he was.

[A]

He's Asian. English. Yeah.

[B]

Look at the beauty of this stupid remark is it erases the dumb stuff you and I said already.

[A]

That's right.

[E]

Or is it just that pile up. I've always wondered.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

I think one.

[A]

No, no, it piles up like garbage.

[B]

No, no, one really offensive of stupid remark erases the ones that preceded.

[A]

Okay, all right.

[E]

I, I. You know what? I hope.

[B]

Haven't you ever seen a press conference in Washington? I'll make him forget that.

[F]

What's the most English accent song that was a hit with a huge boy?

[D]

That's a question.

[B]

That is a great question, Pat.

[A]

Proclaimers. Aren't they. That's Scottish, thick with accents.

[E]

Well, it's very thick. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

That's the same island.

[B]

That would be a good. Yeah, which I'm.

[E]

That one that's certainly up there.

[B]

Then you get into that Dick Van Dyke, awful Cockney accent.

[E]

Yeah, but not that Dick Van Dyke's not British.

[A]

Dick Van Dyke, totally loaded in Mary Poppins.

[E]

He readily doesn't remember a day.

[A]

He readily admits it. Yeah.

[B]

And I get this. I guess they encouraged him to go full Cockney. And it's.

[E]

I think it's fun.

[A]

It's fine.

[E]

Yeah, he wasn't trying to.

[B]

But that's different. I'm just. But your question is a good one. In what songs can you tell?

[F]

Mostly those guys, like, sang after American singers. They were imitating America.

[D]

According to AI Park, Life by Blur is widely considered to have the most stereotypical British accent.

[E]

It's so Benny.

[D]

I mean, Phil Daniels. Spoken word cockney delivery.

[E]

Yeah, I mean, it's. It barely counts because I like the Blur.

[B]

Irish.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

There any Van Morrison songs?

[D]

Where you Lazy Sunday by the Small Faces is on here. A well Respected man by the Kinks.

[B]

Oh, there you go.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Kinks are great. Okay.

[A]

Well.

[B]

Oh, look at the time. Oh, look at what's coming up.

[A]

Look at the Crows sports. And the Big 12 having trouble with their basketball floor. It was bound to happen. And the Iranian soccer team not playing. Got a gotta talking to Shay Gilgis Alexander broke a record of Wilt Chamberlains last night. That's not the sex.

[B]

Great comedian.

[A]

And, oh, no, that's Shane Gillis.

[B]

Does anybody notice that?

[A]

Every time I. Kyler Murray is at last a Viking.

[E]

I don't think it hurts either of those men.

[B]

Yeah, they're both great. Can't argue with that. Right now I want to talk about your feet. Still got him?

[D]

Yep.

[B]

Good.

[D]

I checked.

[B]

Want to. Want to keep them comfortable. In fact, I wish I could hold up the set of orange insoles that I had right behind me. Except I. I took them home to put them in my new shoes.

[E]

Well, you're doing the right thing.

[A]

You stole them from yourself.

[B]

I really think we're supposed to have them posted back there.

[D]

Sorry.

[E]

That's okay. You're actually using them how you're supposed to. Because you know how it is, Tom. Those boots, they can get uncomfortable. And then you start feeling that discomfort in your knees, your ankles, your hips, all the way up to the top of your skull. That's right. Everything's related, my friends. The head bones connection.

[A]

That's right. Hips don't lie.

[B]

I'm sorry. I was doing something else. I didn't mean to leave you hanging. Oh, you're so. You're so right.

[E]

Origins deliver rigid arch support that don't collapse with. By the. By the time you get to lunch, think about those liners you have in your shoes, those loose lasagna noodles. Just not helping you at all. You might as well.

[A]

Disgusting.

[E]

Put a couple flapjacks in your shoes and see if that helps. You might have a snack later.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

With a deep heel cup, they cradle your heel and absorb shock naturally. And they help maintain alignment. Cradle feet and legs. Fatigue. They don't fatigue nearly as much. They reduce stress on the knees, hips, and lower back. And they're durable enough, as Tom knows, for boots, even work boots. And they're comfortable enough. Comfortable enough. Rather sorry, for everyday wear. They're built for real people who do real jobs, like stand on concrete all day directing forklifts. And you forklift number four over there to the that shelf. And then you forklifts a C maybe you're working retail.

[B]

You're on your feet all day. That lady that comes in that talks to you for an hour and a half and never buys anything. Your feet start hurting, wishing you could put that one boot right up to her cheek.

[E]

You might not have that with orange insoles.

[B]

Oh, sorry.

[E]

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[B]

What was the pause there? Were you congratulating yourself?

[A]

Oh, don't you even start. You have entire conversations with yourself. Well, thank you very much. Well, thank you very much.

[B]

I'm sorry. I was talking to myself. I didn't hear you.

[A]

I know.

[E]

Be sure to use promo code Bob and Tom and check out to receive $5 off your total order plus free shipping in the USA. Originsouls.com promo code Bob and Tom. Give them a try. I think they're going to really help you out with a lot of those.

[B]

They're great. You'll walk a lot better and you'll your feet when you go to bed aren't going to be going help after an achy day. Coming up, songs with English accents I found. I can't believe we didn't think of these two. They're like top of mind. When we return to these lovely places, what would be the, what is this called? Oh, the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. That's so nice in here. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[I]

Hey, thanks for listening this morning. Got something to say? Send us an email. Bob and tomobandtom.com okay, let's be honest.

[B]

Phone plans are now ridiculously expensive. If you're tired of spending crazy money on high wireless bills, bogus fees and so called free perks that cost you more in the long run, it might be time to ditch big wireless. Hey, give a premium wireless plan from mint mobile for 15 bucks a month a try.

[D]

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[A]

I feel like it's my fault. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Thank O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Christy Lee at the news desk.

[D]

Hello.

[A]

Pat Godwin in his very expensive hoodie. Yes. Got his hands on his organization. There's Josh Arnold.

[E]

Hi there.

[A]

Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick McGee at the sports desk. A pig coming up.

[E]

Really?

[A]

In sports? Not my pig, not my farm. Right. Isn't that a saying now?

[B]

Oh, what?

[D]

I haven't heard that.

[A]

Not my pig, not my farm.

[B]

I don't know what that means.

[A]

You don't? It's not my. It's not my problem.

[E]

Not my pig, not my farm.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Okay, I get that.

[A]

You've never heard that?

[B]

No.

[A]

You got to get out more. And I don't get out because I

[B]

don't know enough pig owners. I don't know. The point is we were talking about finest people. We were talking about what songs in English have the most obvious English accent.

[A]

Right? You had an English accent. You were singing in Swahili. We wouldn't know.

[E]

No, but I mean, a lot of.

[B]

There are a lot of bands you just don't know.

[E]

I mean, I mean, there are American bands that sound like they're British.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Well, that's why the Grand Funk did a song we're an American band because everyone thought they were from English England.

[E]

Oh, really?

[B]

For some reason they did. Yeah, that's what they wrote. We're an American band. Anyway,

[A]

came in and saved him or something, right?

[B]

Oh, God, Pat, you'll get this one, I think. Oh, a song. You can tell their English. Penny Lane.

[F]

Oh, sure, yeah.

[B]

What's the one line that full of fishing finger pie? Oh, yeah. Well, that's English slang. I didn't mean the way they pronounce it.

[A]

Who did.

[B]

Who did?

[A]

Penny Lane.

[B]

Another costume.

[F]

You know, customer.

[B]

Yeah. Pink Floyd. Another brick in the wall.

[E]

Yeah, but I was. I. That came to mind. But I wasn't going to count it because it's almost talking. Yeah. And yelling.

[B]

How about David Bowie? Space Oddity?

[F]

Absolutely.

[E]

Ground control.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

That's kind of little Anthony Newley tooth from now.

[B]

Do. Do the Bee Gees ever betray any of the Australian stuff or the British stuff that's in there? Not really. Okay.

[F]

I think so.

[A]

It's.

[B]

It's interesting, though. And we were talking about Wang Chung and other delights this morning.

[A]

Song, Dennis Wine. Keith Chung. Unbelievable.

[B]

You know, we're gonna get a letter.

[E]

By who? Keith Chung? I hope so.

[A]

I hope so.

[B]

It's not Keith Chung. It's Trevor Chung. Keith, now do you know why they're

[F]

really called Wang Chung?

[A]

No joke. No.

[E]

You know.

[B]

Yeah. It's involved the picking up a guitar and going up and down.

[A]

Throw water on this.

[B]

You want to show it?

[F]

Yeah, sure.

[B]

Demonstrate it for us on the keyboard.

[E]

It's a move.

[F]

It's a ch. Oh, down and up.

[E]

Who did. Was that a familiar term or did they invent it?

[F]

I think they invented it. Oh, I never heard it before.

[B]

Just like hubastank. We found out that that's just an invented.

[F]

I thought it was control to nature.

[B]

That was a chunk, not a wine.

[F]

You're right. David had the wing.

[B]

Okay, we have time for one letter before we have to take a short break. What have you got over there?

[A]

Dear Bob and Top show this morning Chick started by saying, happy Friday. I've used this term for several years now. I wake up, get ready for work, walk downstairs and tell my wife, happy Friday.

[B]

I hope she kicks you in the

[A]

nuts, because I know what's coming when I get home. I go to work, come home and change out a ba. Then I say. Then I send my wife an eggplant emoji.

[E]

Oh, that means wiener.

[A]

Within a minute, she responds to the bedroom, and I get what I call a friay. It is the best part of ending my week. This has gone on for years. I think my wife likes me. That is from that sweet Steve K. Thank you, Steve.

[D]

Is that what your Fridays are like, Tom?

[B]

No.

[F]

Sex on Demand.

[B]

Does he get any butt?

[A]

Yay.

[D]

What?

[F]

Nay, nay.

[A]

No, that's just like. Yeah, I can't just call a butt. We could have been ash, I guess

[D]

for a little afternoon delights on Fridays while the kids are at school.

[A]

Yeah. You can't keep her off of here.

[B]

Yeah, that's right. Coming up, we have. We have more of your letters.

[F]

Do you like afternoon unconscious?

[E]

Are you a day deal?

[F]

Yeah, loving the day.

[B]

Everybody in my house but me and the dogs.

[A]

You make love to your dog?

[B]

No, I see that. I knew that would be misinterpreted. Coming up up, we have delightful news stories including apparently we have pigs in the world. Record news.

[A]

Not my pig, not my farm.

[B]

Okay. We have a very interesting frivolous lawsuit and puppy names and weirdly enough, in the top 10 puppies. Several of our members of my family.

[A]

Big fan of people names for puppies. This is my dog. It's my dog, Steve.

[B]

We have a cool smuggling story that does not involve the. What do they call, Call it the pocket purse. What's that called?

[D]

That's, that'll work.

[E]

Oh, yeah. Prison purse.

[B]

Prison purse. Sorry. And taking vitamins to live longer. They may be helping. We're going to tell you about that.

[A]

Oh, that's, that's good news. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. And we have a. A nice thing coming up about Red Fox. Red Fox, you big dummy. Thank you very much.

[A]

You're welcome.

[B]

On cue. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[I]

Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Get a look at Today's on our YouTube channel.

[B]

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[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There is Christy Lee.

[H]

Hi.

[A]

At the news center.

[D]

I was just looking at the weather.

[A]

All right, sir, there's Pat Godwin.

[F]

Hey, Chick.

[A]

There's Josh Arnold.

[E]

Hi there.

[A]

Ace Cosby. Chick. Hey indeed. I'm Chick. And hello@the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. Hello, Tom.

[B]

Hello, Chick McGee. Did you want to get to some more letters or do you want to dive in head first into sports 1.

[A]

One more letter that Might spark some conversation. Hello, gang.

[E]

Hi there.

[A]

A short while back, y' all talked about the various guest stars on Gilligan's Island. What you failed to look into was the reverse. In season two, episode two of ALF. In 1989, the surviving cast of Gilligan's island guest starred on the ALF show. Oh, and I just saw I think Roseanne Barr show like three or four of the Gilligan's Island. They were. They were playing the Roseanne shows.

[B]

Are there any left?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Tina Louise.

[D]

Yeah, she's alive.

[A]

Tina is still. She's it right Creaking around. Oh yeah. I think Don Wells too did. Did. I just thought you guys would like to know that I love alf. He says.

[B]

I used to love that show too.

[D]

So does Ace. It's his favorite.

[E]

Why were the Gilligan folks on alf? You remember? I do not.

[B]

This is as if they needed.

[A]

Well, he's a really good reason Gilligan any. They're Hollywood royalty.

[B]

Don't you love a very special you know, Chicago Fire meets the guys from Chicago Cops. Whatever the hell is. Oh, wow. I wasn't gonna watch.

[A]

But didn't you lose your mind when the Green Hornet was on the. On Batman? I lost my mind.

[E]

Crossover shows could be really cool.

[B]

I never understood what were the Green Hornets powers.

[A]

Well, he had a.

[D]

Yes, he was green. I don't know.

[B]

I never got into him as a kid. The comic was what does he do?

[A]

He had Cato knew. Yeah. Bruce Lee knew karate. Yeah.

[B]

What if the.

[E]

The green. He was just a disguised guy. Right. He didn't really have superpowers.

[A]

He was also.

[B]

Yeah, but Batman had cool stuff like the bat signal. He didn't have some stupid ring like he was the pope.

[E]

Right. There was nothing supernatural with either Batman

[D]

or the so green Hornets ring didn't do anything.

[E]

You know, there's new Green Lantern had the ring.

[B]

Oh, wait a minute. Oh, I forgot what's. What are the green. What were the Green Lanterns.

[E]

I forget exactly.

[F]

He had something in his ring so

[B]

the Green Lantern now. So what you're saying is the Green Lantern and the Green Hornet did one of those crossover shows.

[E]

It would be as boring as I was it for.

[B]

Was it for St. Patrick's Day?

[E]

You know, I didn't care for any either.

[A]

There's a new green liner coming out, man.

[D]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They haven't learned their lessons that superhero movies are terrible. They're going to keep making them.

[D]

I have a letter.

[B]

Well, I got another their. Did you know that one time Wang Chung saying background vocals on the song Kung Fu Fighting.

[E]

I had no idea.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

They hit Wang Chung Kong.

[B]

Wow. It's a very rare library.

[E]

Little brown rice, extra bamboo shoots.

[B]

It's a very mild, though rare, live recording.

[A]

Get the pork Wang.

[B]

What does your letter say?

[D]

Good morning, radio voices who talk on the radio in the morning. Morning Chick was talking about how birds don't control where they go to the bathroom.

[A]

That's right.

[D]

Years ago, my wife and I bought a home. The previous owners had birds that they let fly freely around the house. There was bird crap everywhere.

[E]

Why'd you buy the home?

[D]

On the curtain rod and door sills.

[B]

Oh, you always love that group.

[A]

You always blame the messenger.

[D]

Why'd they buy the house? They probably got a hell of a deal.

[E]

Yeah, don't complain about the bird poop. You either got the deal deal with the bird poop or you bought a house that wasn't a deal and it's covered in bird poop.

[D]

Needless to say, there was a lot

[A]

of things thrown out of you defending Morrissey. I won't have it.

[B]

I assume that.

[D]

Thank you, Ray.

[B]

And Mr. That had to have been. When you buy a house, typically one has it inspected.

[D]

Oh yeah, that came up in an interview. Well, you probably knew when you walked in.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Either the previous owner had a soft serve ice cream machine or there is

[E]

a chance that when they've looked at the house and decided to buy it, it the bird wasn't there. And then the homeowner still had a couple weeks in the house before the actual.

[A]

There you go.

[E]

I said there's a chance. I didn't say that's what happened.

[A]

He might. He might be losing.

[E]

Be careful.

[B]

Okay, we'll flip a coin. Flip a coin. Winner gets to put it. Give him the last straw.

[A]

Tails.

[B]

Dear Bob and Tom show. You guys were talking about. About records on cereal boxes.

[E]

No, we weren't. Oh, yes we were. A couple weeks ago. I took it too far. Sorry.

[B]

Yeah, there were. There were a bunch of them and they would be sort of built into the back of them and they were.

[D]

Usually they had color on them like blue or yellow.

[A]

And they were finally perforated. You pop them out.

[B]

Didn't kiss kiss. Had a cereal or something and they had a little vine. They were.

[E]

Oh yeah, God of thunder flakes.

[A]

They were.

[B]

They were real cheesy.

[A]

It wasn't the slip blood in there or something.

[B]

Right, Mr. We'll just call him. He's got an unusual name, so we'll just call him Mr. S from Cross Lanes, West Virginia.

[E]

Oh, I bet that's beautiful.

[A]

Is it Stinkhammer? I know where Cross Lane is. I used to drive through.

[B]

David, I'd like to apologize, Mr. Stink. I don't know how his name. I don't know how Chick knew your last name was Stinkhammer. He nailed it.

[A]

From Cross Lane.

[B]

Yeah. The Stink Hammers in Cross Lanes, West Virginia. The reason I didn't want to give those minds, he goes. Back in the day, I got my hands on a magazine called High Society. There was a tear off 45 RPM vinyl.

[D]

Wasn't that a dirty magazine?

[A]

Yeah, it was a soft, softer gentleman's. Yeah.

[D]

Society.

[B]

Yeah. I'm not so sure. Either way, they call strip clubs gentlemen, women's clubs. It's that kind of thing.

[A]

I think it was an all of a companion. The magazine to Leg show, if you remember that.

[B]

I mean, there were some that were a little more subtle as opposed to say, Beaver Hunt Club International D Cup issue. Beaver Hunt. Not really. A lot of. A lot of subtlety there.

[A]

I like show.

[B]

Apparently there was a 45 vinyl. Then he's. I'll quote. Okay, David, what's his name? Stinkhouse.

[A]

Stink Hammer, Stink Camera.

[B]

For lack of a better term. A lady slurping down a Big Gulp.

[D]

Oh, man.

[E]

That's what the album was.

[A]

You know what? Stinkhammer can turn a phrase. Can he?

[B]

I. That's what? I don't know. I'm weird. Maybe that was just the intro.

[E]

Guys get off the first erotic asmr.

[D]

Like the audio.

[B]

Who knows? That is weird. Thank you, David.

[A]

And I'll record that. We'll put it on the back of a cereal box.

[E]

And there are women making can. Like. I mean, first off, ASMR has other. It's not just pornographic. What's that mean? ASMR is sounds. So if you like the particular sound of somebody speaking softly.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[E]

You will use it to relax.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

But there's also sexual asmr. No, for pornographic reasons. Where you'll. If a woman is slurping on something.

[D]

Yes.

[E]

And they'll get off to it.

[D]

Okay. I have not heard of that.

[E]

It's not for me.

[A]

How about you checked into a hotel and the couple in the next room are going at it and you're standing at the wall playing with yourself. You've never done that?

[E]

I've never joined in, per se. Because I. I think I always am amused. I'm not turned on.

[A]

It's very, very hot.

[E]

I always cheer them on.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Get it, get it. That Morrissey guy be going, I can't do a show. Tomorrow. You're keeping me up.

[E]

So, a call back from an hour ago.

[B]

It was probably more than an hour ago. And you're welcome. Dear Bob and Tom show, our friend Ramon in Orlando. Right. Morrissey is an INS prick.

[E]

Oh, we have. We have no doubt.

[A]

Holy hell. I think. I think that's a given.

[B]

Once again, he was in the news for not doing a concert because he couldn't sleep the night before.

[E]

I feel for him.

[G]

Yeah, it's tough.

[B]

Yeah. I don't. Okay.

[A]

Tough out here for Pam.

[B]

Dear Bob and Tom Show. This is. This is nice, and this is fortuitous because I was just about to start talking about the aura, Frank.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Well, I can get this. Can you explain the aura frame, Christy?

[D]

Yeah, the aura frame is right behind Josh. It's a beautiful 8 by 10 frame. But the interesting part about the aura frame is you fill it with pictures from anywhere in the world, and it will be like, as Tom says, a moving slideshow. You get to see your grandkids. You get to see.

[B]

I wrote the aura frame, people. And I said, is there any way you could put a chip in there that would make it make the sound effect of slides, like, back in the day that.

[D]

Yeah, you can also put videos on it, which is really cool, too.

[E]

Will you please not bother them?

[B]

But wouldn't that be funny if they did that just so Grandpa's gonna understand? Oh, I see. It's a slideshow.

[A]

Where's the projector? Yeah, yeah. You talk about Grandpa as if he's not you. Okay.

[B]

I embrace the classics.

[D]

And you get unlimited storage, which means you can keep putting pictures on there.

[B]

Okay, this gets. This is quite literally a random letter that was handed to me, like, an hour ago. I didn't look at my stack of letters. My now adult sons pooled their resources for my Christmas present this year. They were so excited to have me open the gift they sure I would love. They thought they'd have to explain the whole concept to me, their baby boomer mom. As I pulled back the wrapping paper and I saw the box, I went, aura. It's an aura frame. I'm so excited. You know about aura frames, they said. I said, I sure do. The Bob and Tom show has been talking about. About them. They finally had respect for the show that I have loved forever. Oh, there's a picture of Josh back in the old days in high school.

[A]

Yeah. Back in the day when he worked at Mickey Finn's playing piano and the banjo.

[B]

What outfit was that, Josh?

[E]

That was my show choir outfit. Yeah, I Was a member of Premiere.

[A]

That's right. Not just any show, but it does.

[B]

It looks like you're about to do it. Like Mickey Finn songs. What a nice letter. Thank you, Julie in Rochester, Minnesota.

[D]

Enjoy, Julie.

[B]

A big fan of the aura frame. So back to the point of this thing is if you. You can knock. What is it, 35 bucks off?

[D]

That's right. For a limited time, Bob and Tom listeners can get 35 off their best selling carver mat frame with the code Tom. That's a U R A frames.com use promo code Tom. And of course, doesn't hurt to mention the Bob and Tom show at checkout.

[B]

These things are really cool. I. When we first started talking about them, I bought one. And it's. When you walk into my house, if you go through the garage door, it's right there showing cool slides, even some pictures of you guys.

[A]

I doubt that.

[D]

She doesn't allow that.

[F]

She's not gonna allow that.

[B]

They're kind of.

[E]

Kelly likes me.

[B]

They're like once removed pictures of you guys. Like, for example, there's a picture of one of our posters that you guys are on.

[A]

Get it?

[E]

I see.

[B]

I. I don't have the technological skill to delete that part of the.

[D]

I think the cool thing about aura frames is you can load it before you give it to someone. You can put all the pictures on it, which would be really cool.

[B]

And you can keep loading it from a distance. So this. The. The boys. This lady's sons can send her stuff. Hey, mom, look what we did last night.

[E]

Yeah, and when there's an inevitable divorce in the family, you can delete those photos of that.

[D]

You don't have to rip the pictures.

[B]

Is that. Is that the last one straw? I know we're close. What do you think?

[A]

Yeah, we got another break or two.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[E]

You know where you guys beat me up.

[B]

Pat, we need to write a song called this is your pink slip. You know, just for. For people of a certain age. They understand what that means.

[A]

We haven't mentioned that. It's Friday the 13th.

[B]

What is this?

[A]

Josh knows this. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Is this from the. I've never seen one of these movies.

[A]

What?

[B]

Which one is this? Which bad guys in the. This one.

[E]

Jason Voorhees.

[D]

I haven't seen.

[B]

What does he. Does he stab people or.

[E]

Oh, he really machetes them up.

[B]

Yeah, okay.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

What is the term when you're afraid of Friday the 13th? Isn't it.

[A]

Starba pivia?

[E]

Starba labia?

[A]

No, no, that's starve my Labia.

[E]

It's feed a cold Starvalabia.

[A]

No, you got to feed that to feed the lady. Never forget.

[B]

Well, I think the last straw has finally arrived.

[A]

Feed me, Seymour. Feed me.

[B]

Oh, God. We're gonna try to fix everything up. We may need some help here. These remain the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. And thanks for joining us. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[D]

What would you do if your online

[H]

store converted 36% more shoppers? You could take 36% more vacation.

[B]

Another pina colada.

[A]

Yes, please.

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Open a new retail location with 36% more square feet.

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Fantastic.

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Hire 36% more help.

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You're hired.

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And you're hired.

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Switch to Shopify [e-mail] listen.

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[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Top Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Thank O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee.

[D]

Hi, Chick.

[A]

She's at the news desk. Hello, There's Pat Godwin.

[F]

Hey, Chick.

[A]

Hello. There's Josh Arnold Chickster. Hey, man. There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I am Chick McGee at the Originsouls.com sports desk.

[B]

Got a little something for you.

[A]

Hello, Tom.

[B]

Are you ready?

[D]

Yep.

[H]

Got it.

[A]

All right. Yep. That's it.

[E]

Everybody.

[B]

Wang Chung tonight. Oh, it's such good stuff. Okay, we were talking about Wang Chung earlier today and a lot of other unusual great things in the world of music. But right now we turn to the sports page with Chick McGee.

[A]

Well, first, dear Bob and Tom show, another email from our listeners brought to you by Hyundai. I heard you talking about a contest where Christy Lee will drive around in my Hyundai with me.

[B]

I was thinking we should talk to the Hyundai people. And one person annually would get Christie as their personal newscaster.

[E]

You know, you haven't asked Christy about this.

[D]

What if I got to I drive them? That would be even better.

[B]

Well, we're not. There might be.

[E]

Apparently, she's on board.

[B]

Yeah, if you drive them, there may be liability issues.

[F]

What time of day?

[B]

It'd be the morning. It would be a morning show. And.

[D]

Oh, we do the news from their car.

[B]

Yeah, we do the news. This is a great idea.

[A]

Rick says, while I would love to have such a beautiful passenger princess in the car with me. I just had one question. Can you please verify if she'll be talking the whole time?

[D]

Is that Rick? Is that.

[A]

Just kidding. Love you, jk. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah, that's.

[A]

Isn't that sweet, Rick? It is Rick.

[B]

R. I c. We got an update on something.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

We like to talk about the important things going on right now in the world.

[E]

Oh, yes.

[B]

It's.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Especially involving food. And there are certain protocols when it comes to food. For example, Josh, when you make a peanut butter and jelly.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

You want to give me the order? Things go in.

[A]

Oh, go on the.

[B]

Or the order, whatever.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

Okay. Yeah, Nothing special. I. I typically do peanut butter first, jelly second.

[B]

Does the jelly go on the bread directly or on top of the peanut butter? Then you do the squish.

[E]

Okay. One side. One piece of bread is peanut butter, one piece of bread is jelly.

[B]

That's fairly standard.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, I'll tell you this. I put peanut butter first and then jelly a dollop. And then I do the squish. I don't spread the jelly.

[E]

I am also a knife and spoon man. I do not spoon. Some people use the knife for the peanut butter and then the knife for the jelly. I don't do that.

[A]

No kidding.

[B]

Yeah. That can be damaging. I agree. Now, this involves something we did not know about yesterday, which is the saltine cracker issue.

[E]

Oh, yes. Christy and I have had buttered saltines.

[D]

Yes, we have.

[E]

And enjoy them very much.

[B]

But now, I'm not familiar with the buttered saltine, but if we take that as a given, the question was, do you put the butter on the salt side?

[D]

Salt side.

[B]

You do?

[D]

Yes.

[E]

As do I. But one man's wife. Wife did the opposite.

[A]

Our.

[B]

Our friend in the. Up the Upper peninsula of Michigan. He and his wife disagree about this.

[D]

Oh, really?

[B]

She says you put the butter on the bottom side of the cracker on the salted side on your tongue. So when you eat it, you get the salt before you get the butter.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

I mean, I. I get what she's doing. Yeah.

[B]

I. Sorry, sir. I agree with her.

[E]

So you're going to do that? If you were to do it?

[B]

If I were to do it, yeah. That way you get the. The salt.

[D]

So what about tuna? Like, if you have a tuna out of the pack it. Do you put it on the salt side of the cracker or on the.

[E]

I would always. Whatever it is, I would put on the top.

[D]

So do I. Josh, I'm with you. I had tuna yesterday on saltis, which is.

[B]

I hate to agree with you. I do agree with that.

[E]

I have a new way of eating tuna salad.

[D]

I don't eat the salad. I just eat the tuna.

[E]

Oh, yeah, you're right. You're not adding mayonnaise or anything like that.

[B]

Chrissy, what is. There's a new way to eat tuna salad.

[E]

I get those tiny cukes, those mini cucumbers, and I use that as, like, a dipping deal.

[B]

Yeah, I don't do that because I. I just feel it's like eating veal. The cute little cucumbers never had time to have a full life, you know, they never got to go to the prom. Never got to be cool, as Neil Young would say.

[D]

Tom has to skin his cucumbers, too. You know that, right?

[E]

I didn't.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

You peel your cucumbers, like, with a. Like a potato peel.

[B]

No, I don't. Kelly does it.

[A]

He does not care for cucumber hide.

[E]

Is it because you don't like the hide?

[B]

No, no. It's just the thing. We do that. That's our little appetizer every night. Night.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

That's a nice cucumbers.

[E]

It's refreshing.

[B]

Little cucumber discs with little paprika or something.

[A]

Does anyone ever say, this is me and you later, and lick the. Lick the cucumber.

[B]

No, the cucumber, they're. They're little. They're in discs. You take the cucumber and you slice it.

[D]

Of course, you don't put them on.

[B]

I deep throat the thing before we cut it.

[D]

It's not going to make hummus on it or anything. Just plain cucumbers.

[F]

You and Kelly playing cucumber?

[A]

What did you. Did you guys run out of money? Is that what happened?

[F]

You could have come to me.

[B]

It's healthy. Okay. Well, thank you. I hope things are going well up for you in the. Up beautiful country.

[A]

You purse.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Do you eat the skin on your baked potato?

[B]

So I do.

[D]

Do you eat the skin on your apples?

[B]

No.

[A]

I know you peel your apples.

[D]

Yeah, he won't eat the skin on apples either.

[A]

Do you salt your apples? No, I salt my apples.

[D]

Do you really?

[A]

When I. On the rare occasion I'll have an

[B]

apple, I do salt my potato chips and popcorn.

[A]

I know you do.

[B]

They're already.

[A]

And I am right there with you, bro.

[E]

I desalt pretzels. You guys would probably be furious at me if you saw me eat a soft pretzel.

[A]

It's beyond furious. Are you sitting here?

[B]

Are you allowed to vote? Yeah. Doesn't that take away your scrape? Your rights as An American.

[A]

Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Communist party doing that kind of thing?

[E]

I am here on my own volition.

[B]

Your father, two tours of combat duty in Vietnam, and he let you take the salt off pretzels. He would be ashamed for those pretzels.

[E]

My great grandfather died in the salt mines of Eurasia. Oh, really?

[B]

The salt mines of Eurasia.

[E]

What.

[B]

What area. What would the designation of that area be now in today's geography?

[E]

It no longer exists. Back then it was named P. And now it's really. Yeah. But now it's somewhere near the Hafar region.

[A]

I see.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[B]

I see.

[A]

Oh, the pins it down. Well, why didn't you say so?

[F]

So you take a. A knife and scrape it off or you suck.

[E]

It's my hands. If I. If it's. If it's overly pretzel, though.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree.

[E]

Did I say overly pretzel?

[B]

Yeah, but I mean overly salt.

[E]

I myself am overly pretzel. But if my pretzel is overly salted,

[D]

sometimes you can get them without. They'll ask you, do you want salt?

[E]

And I say no. Yeah, I know. I know.

[B]

Who does that?

[D]

A lot of concession stands will do that.

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

Because they salt them after they're warm and you can spritz them.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

I used to make soft pretzels.

[D]

Oh, at the theater.

[E]

Oh, yes.

[D]

When you're in the movie.

[E]

When I was in the cinema business. Trick to it, the correct amount of dampness. Yes.

[D]

Oh, to put the salt on.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Because they do they come frozen or how do they come.

[E]

Oh, they come frozen, baby. But nobody at the movie theater was. Nobody going there ever thought, you know, I bet they freshly roll those.

[B]

A chick will back me up on this. There used to be a movie theater here that made the popcorn fresh on site. And I got to know the manager of the theater, and there'd be occasions where I would go in there, just get the popcorn and take it to a different movie theater that had the movie I wanted to see. The chain was sold, and the big corporate guys came in and got rid of the fresh popcorn. So sad.

[D]

And we'll look at that theater now.

[A]

Yeah, there's almost. I just keep walking. Well, today is going to close, I would think.

[B]

No, it is.

[D]

It is.

[B]

They're turning it into comed. Dear Bob and Tom show. I've listened to your show. Whoa. This. This goes way back, nearly 50 years. By the way, Josh was talking about the perfect morning. Oh, this was great. Josh was explaining. He knew he was Gonna have a good day. Because he had just the right amount of milk for the last bit of cereal.

[A]

Yes, it's gonna be a great day.

[E]

I also this morning nothing like that happened. But I chose, I'm choosing to have a a great day.

[A]

It's up to you.

[D]

I said that this morning on the way to you.

[B]

I had the opposite today. I decided to go a different way to work today.

[G]

Okay.

[B]

And I parenthetically I should point out I can't go the normal way because they've been fixing the freeway for three and a half years and now my exit's closed.

[A]

But stop complaining about.

[B]

No, there should be a limit. They start shooting people after the three year limit.

[E]

Hard working men working.

[B]

Oh yeah, they're working hard. But I don't know who planned this thing.

[E]

Crooks and criminals.

[B]

But no, no. Some guy.

[A]

Some guy must be criminals.

[B]

Kickbacks, a huge kickback. In any event, I missed every light. And one of them because they put in a stupid bus system that no one rides on is a five minute wait.

[E]

Oh, so you missed every green. You got all reds, all red all morning long, so.

[B]

But I'm gonna be okay.

[A]

There are citizens depend on that bus line.

[B]

They could have purchased a Rolls Royce for every person who's ridden that bus line since they put it in.

[D]

Told you time and time again, there's a way you can come to work that you hit no lights but one, maybe two from where you live.

[A]

He doesn't go that way. He thinks it's dangerous on Allisonville.

[E]

You know what happened? Six months from now he's going to accidentally discover that route.

[D]

I know.

[E]

And tell you all about

[D]

flashing lights. It's great. You never stop.

[B]

I took, I drove through the hood this morning.

[D]

Did you really?

[B]

To get down there.

[E]

First off, our producer's losing his mind. He just stood up laughing so hard he almost. It was like deaf comedy.

[A]

Now wait a minute. Let us just a second walk us through that. You drove through the hood.

[E]

There a chance he, he, I think he thinks my neighborhood is.

[A]

I think he might think you live in a hood.

[D]

Of course he does.

[A]

I live in this hood, sort of. So that's the only thing that gets me off the hood.

[E]

Hoods don't usually have chilies,

[B]

so.

[A]

Oh yeah, you, yeah, you've got.

[B]

My point is, Olive Garden, in spite of missing every light and I really did, I, I, I came here that I'm going to have a good day.

[E]

Oh, good, good.

[D]

I said I was going to say something nice to each and every one of you.

[B]

Today.

[D]

I'll get to that.

[F]

I'm waiting.

[B]

What is that going to start?

[A]

You ain't got to me yet.

[D]

I know it's coming.

[B]

Whatever this letter comes to us from. From Mr. Wilson.

[E]

Oh, Mr. Wilson.

[B]

And this is. This is a really good thing to have happen. He goes, I had the perfect sequence of timing last year. Evening.

[A]

I'll see what you started.

[B]

Just as my steaks were done, the propane ran out.

[E]

Oh, that's big.

[B]

Whoa. Oh, that's nice. You're pulling the meat off the grill. Because. Have you ever had it? They're. They're like half raw and the propane runs out.

[E]

I'll be right back.

[A]

You gotta have backup propane. You simply must.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. That's depending what kind of grill you've got. Absolutely, man.

[E]

That's. That's great.

[B]

But. Yeah. Congratulations, Ryan. That is really nice. Nice. You deserve it. I hope those steaks were good. I hope they were from our friends at Omaha Steaks.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

Who is this?

[B]

Ryan. Ryan, yeah.

[A]

That bastard.

[E]

Oh, you're still mad at Ryan?

[A]

He doesn't know how to cook a steak. No, I was over there. He overcooks them. They look like shoe leather when they go.

[E]

Oh, man.

[A]

How's that steak treating you? Same as always, Ryan.

[B]

You know something?

[E]

Well, you would ask for medium well plus, and he didn't know.

[A]

Yeah, that plus thing, I think medium rare.

[B]

That's a Christie Lee.

[E]

What I'm saying is, his order was,

[D]

I don't do it anymore. You guys have ruined that for me.

[B]

And I. And I love the way they make them when. And you said, like a medium rare, please. Then they insist. They've been told they have to describe it for you.

[A]

Is it. Is there a plus now?

[G]

No.

[A]

Or did you start that?

[D]

I don't know. I'd always. I'd heard it. I just like between medium rare and medium.

[A]

To me, medium rare. Medium rare is the only way to order.

[D]

I know.

[B]

Now, wait a minute. Want to prove your point wrong, Ace? How do you order your steak?

[E]

No pink.

[B]

No pink.

[D]

Well done.

[A]

Well, if that doesn't scream medium rare, I don't know what I thought you

[B]

were going to say. Cultural stereotype.

[E]

Let him have it.

[B]

Just let it go.

[E]

None of us are here

[F]

for himself right now.

[A]

Are you still upset by tipping those iPads they whip around? Well, evidently the National Football League's wheel weighing in on it now they are tipping.

[E]

Oh, I hope every ticket you buy at the box office, they turn that around.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, well, that. That's. That's interesting.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Well, thank you very much.

[A]

Ever hear of jj? What?

[D]

Sure.

[A]

That's right. He's talking about it. Okay.

[B]

Oh, I see. Okay. We'll certainly look forward to that. If you'd like to send us a letter, Christy Lee, tell. Tell folks how they do that.

[D]

That's easy. You go to bob and tomtom.com.

[A]

i'm still waiting for my nice thing.

[D]

Chick, I really love that jacket you're wearing. It's a very nice color for you.

[E]

That's about a material.

[A]

My jacket.

[D]

You chose the jacket. That means you have good taste.

[B]

I won't be in that. Wait a minute. But you chose this job so that

[A]

I didn't have anywhere else to go.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All those divorces.

[B]

What's coming up in sports?

[A]

My God. What's coming up in sports? The Big 12 and that big. I got your Big 12 LED floor that they had.

[E]

I got you.

[A]

Well, you know, it went over like a lead balloon. Oh, an led. There's been an update on the. The TV floor, if you will.

[B]

I think those are. That's the future.

[A]

You might change your tune after this.

[B]

Well, they can just have it go off during the. During the breaks. Right.

[D]

Just play the game. If I want to watch a video,

[A]

my favorite part of it. It is extra, but my favorite if there's a slam dunk. Dunk the. The key, if you will. Under the lane, under the basket.

[H]

It.

[A]

It shatters like glass. It looks like it's shattered.

[E]

That's fun.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're going to do anything.

[E]

NBA needs all those smoke and mirrors because the game.

[B]

Yeah, well, there's that.

[A]

Well, until they get to the playoffs. That's true.

[B]

I told you how to fix the NBA. Only play the winning team each night. You're going to see some action.

[A]

Kyler Murray is now a Minnesota Viking. The more things change, the more they stay the same. I'll explain.

[B]

Explain that they can teach him how to spell Tyler. Kyler.

[D]

It's Kyler.

[B]

I know. Spelled it wrong.

[E]

Yeah. Your name's Tyler and you spell it with a K. It's a typo.

[A]

The best you can do is to Kyler. To Kyler. You think Kyler lives in the hood? Your thoughts, Tom?

[E]

I drove for the hood the other day.

[B]

I did.

[E]

He actually won Nordstrom rack.

[A]

He said that.

[D]

I know.

[A]

Hey, I drove through the hood today.

[D]

He doesn't go below 62nd Street. Let's face it.

[B]

I did this morning. What a mistake. There's probably some. Still some guy waiting for that light to go green and that bus system,

[A]

no one uses it.

[B]

I would have taken an illegal left, but there were. There were four other people stranded at the light.

[A]

The time you come to, all bets are off. You. You drive on the sidewalk if you want.

[B]

That's what I say.

[A]

Yeah.

[H]

Out.

[B]

We had. Do we have time? Nope. We don't have time for this letter. When we come back, we're gonna have to squeeze in one more letter.

[D]

All right.

[B]

What's the last thing you squeeze, Christy?

[E]

Go.

[D]

A lemon.

[A]

Oh, a lemon.

[E]

Very nice.

[A]

Till the juice ran down your leg.

[D]

No, it wasn't there. It was on my fish.

[B]

Wait, wait, hold on. I. I don't know what she said, but whatever.

[A]

It was. Tuna.

[B]

Pull it back in. You didn't mean to say that.

[A]

We are.

[B]

We are apologizing at the same time. We say hello and thank you. Thank you. These are the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[I]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom Show. Sponsored in part by Java House. The official coffee and refreshments of the Bob and Tom Show.

[D]

Tired of partisan noise?

[B]

America's more divided than ever. But independent Americans is adding light to contrast all that heat.

[D]

Independent Americans. Daily news with army veteran Paul Reichoff.

[B]

Pressing issues of the day with leaders who are shaping what America will be in the future. We're going to bring the righteous media five eyes. Independence, integrity, information, inspiration and impact.

[D]

Join the movement. Independent Americans from Believe, follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[A]

That's what you mean when you say that. Welcome back.

[B]

What do I mean?

[E]

Ancillary.

[B]

Thank you very much.

[D]

Isn't that an artery?

[B]

Yes, yes.

[A]

Ephemeral. Ephemeral.

[E]

It's like if they just appear, right?

[B]

Yes, that's the thing. They come out of nowhere. I'm trying to go. You go to use the men's room and these ancillary human beings are blocking the doors.

[A]

That was me. Damn it.

[B]

What are you doing in there?

[A]

I'm not waiting for a bus much, but I'm. I was urinating. I was fixing my hair. I was.

[D]

This hair looks very nice today.

[A]

I just reapplying my lips stick things that I do.

[B]

Are you wearing a T shirt?

[A]

Well, yeah, I've got a shirt and a shirt. I always wear two shirts just in case one breaks.

[B]

That's very nice. Kind of like a low cut turtleneck.

[A]

No, not at all. It's a crew.

[D]

It's like a crew neck T shirt.

[A]

It's a crew neck. Tom.

[B]

What does that mean?

[D]

Oh, my Lord.

[A]

Never mind. Christy Lee's at the News desk. Oh, my God, there's Pat Godwin. You should talk to Pat about his. His hoodie. Evidently, it's very expensive.

[F]

It's extremely expensive.

[D]

He told me it looks just like a regular hoodie that you.

[A]

What's it made out of? Is it. Is it cashmere?

[D]

Good. American. Is that it?

[H]

American?

[F]

No, no, it's a Valiante.

[D]

Oh, really?

[B]

That's the one they make for the. The rappers that are really rich.

[F]

It is a very exciting.

[E]

That is the thing about hoodies. A 300 hoodie looks like a dollar twenty.

[D]

Thank you, Josh.

[F]

How does that feel?

[A]

Oh, oh. We have this to address real quick.

[B]

Guy drove through the hood this morning. Never do it again.

[D]

You didn't drive through the hood?

[B]

Depends on your definition of speaking of hoodies. I drove through the hood this morning.

[E]

It sounds like he's thought it's the beginning of a joke because it almost sounds like he says guy drove through the. Guy throw.

[A]

Guy drove through the hood.

[B]

No, I'll never. I'll never go that way again. I'm. Lesson learned.

[D]

Okay, sorry. Fair enough.

[E]

Roll them up.

[A]

And I used to live where he st. Right in the heart of the hood.

[D]

I know. So would I.

[A]

Just like boing.

[E]

Yeah, we. Everybody kind and you don't live that

[A]

far from the hood.

[B]

Damn it.

[D]

That's true. If you're calling, that's like a couple blocks. What are you, a mile? If that.

[E]

No, that. I imagine that the gate in his neighborhood opens and he sees hood.

[B]

No, that was my old neighborhood. There's no gate in this.

[A]

There's no gate, but.

[E]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Now my old one. That was the case. Yeah, that was. It was.

[E]

That must be why I'm picturing.

[B]

Yeah, that. That was 2,000 yards south. You're. You're in trouble.

[F]

Didn't it used to be called the boondocks? Down in the boondocks.

[D]

Oh, J.D. souther, didn't he?

[F]

Across the tracks.

[B]

J.D.

[A]

southern.

[B]

Down in the Billy Joe Royal. Yeah. Let's move forward.

[A]

Down in the boondocks. Ah.

[B]

Do we have any more letters? Are we going to finally get to the sporting scene?

[A]

Dear Bob and Tom show. Pet Shop Boys, West End Girls. Most. Most English sounding song.

[E]

It is varying.

[A]

Justin came up with.

[B]

Yeah, we were trying to think of staple. What music. When someone is singing, you can tell they're from England or in Scotland or Ireland.

[A]

And if you haven't seen Michael Sheen and Matthew Reese sing in the car. Pet Shop Boys, West End Girls. It's you.

[B]

You.

[A]

It's worth a visit.

[E]

It is very Good. That'll brighten your day.

[A]

Yeah, that's right.

[B]

Dear Bob and Tom, here's Western

[G]

boys.

[A]

I don't hear. That's probably the most English, so I don't. Never mind. Yeah.

[E]

When he starts doing that.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Talk.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Singing stuff.

[A]

How much have you got?

[B]

Yeah, There you go. There you go. This is from Brian from Sacramento, California.

[A]

Oh, the sack.

[B]

The first time I ever got that tingling feeling down below. I think, Josh, you'd mentioned that yesterday. I forget the context, but we were. Yeah.

[D]

When you saw a picture of somebody, you got that first.

[A]

Oh, you knew you were a boy.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You knew you were a boy.

[D]

Oh, Marilyn Monroe standing over the great.

[E]

That is a moment where every young man kind of go, this is an

[B]

interesting thing to me because usually I'm the one that forgets what I said. But this is what Josh actually forgot what he said. And you remembered the exact context.

[D]

It's amazing, isn't it?

[B]

That is amazing.

[D]

A lot better sleep.

[B]

This is a great topic. The first time you got that tingling feeling.

[E]

Yeah. That. That Marilyn Row thing was not the first time, but it was just one of those. Oh, my gosh.

[B]

That is this. This is from Brian, as I mentioned. He goes. One side of my grandparents, they would watch Lawrence West Elk.

[E]

All right.

[B]

The other side would watch Hee Haw. The first time I got that tingling feeling. Tanya Tucker was on Hee Haw wearing all black leather. I nearly passed out. So she was very hot.

[E]

Oh, she was.

[B]

I haven't seen her lately.

[D]

Delta dawn, you think?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

So what? Do you remember the first time that you got that tingling.

[E]

Oh, gosh.

[A]

Gosh, man.

[E]

No.

[B]

Looking at Charles Atlas in the back

[E]

of a comic book, you know, that. That alarmed me for a second.

[F]

But no tingle.

[A]

Right. But Annette Funicello, Mickey Mouse Club, and her. Her can really? Yeah.

[F]

Elizabeth Montgomery on the final season.

[A]

So hot.

[E]

Yeah,

[B]

I remember it.

[F]

No bra. Final season.

[A]

Is that right?

[E]

That's awesome, Pat. Yep.

[A]

That was the substitute Darren.

[D]

Yeah. He didn't.

[B]

It wouldn't have mattered which Darren it was. Neither one of them would have gone after Elizabeth Montgomery.

[E]

Oh, were they both of a persuasion?

[F]

That is not true.

[A]

As Acton

[D]

turned on my I Dream of genie. I love that genie thing. I thought that was a cool deal.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I wanted to be a genie in a boy.

[A]

I didn't realize they didn't show her naval.

[B]

Yeah. Was there a feminist perspective on that show, do you think?

[A]

Oh, there. There would have to be.

[D]

Well, she did kind of control him.

[B]

Yeah. The premise was he had her in a bottle but the real thing was she was controlling everything.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Which is pretty much analogous to. Wait a minute.

[D]

You better stop talking.

[A]

Hey. Hey, Tom. No way to live, boy.

[B]

I'm sorry.

[A]

From the NFL Tipping prompts pop up everywhere and according to Jay jj, what he's asked his followers what they would do in the following scenario. You order at a counter, find your own table, fill your own coffee, get your own food when a buzzer goes off. But then you face an iPad screen 20, 25, 30% or some other amount and 20% has already been pre selected. What's your move? Watt asks. It drew more than 4 million views. I tip simply because I know that servers live in poverty. Watt, one participant in the survey said,

[D]

but so sound like they're servers though

[A]

another person said, with your vast wealth, you should tip. JJ former Houston Texas defensive end, three time NFL defensive player of the year, says, I obviously tip. There are no servers in this situation. Which is why I asked the question.

[B]

Well, of course. Then do the tips go to the folks making the food?

[D]

I would hope.

[A]

I don't know where they go, man.

[B]

Yeah, I mean I always, I took takeout last night. I always tip for the person that brings it up front.

[D]

And I tip on takeout too.

[B]

Yeah, I mean there are times I remember the one thing that was I thought was the most outrageous was the guy that went to the vet veterinarian's office and picked up their dog and it was like 700 bucks and they flipped it around and you want to give a tip. But then someone explained that to me. It's probably because that place also does dog Washington.

[F]

That's exactly right.

[B]

And you could tip the dog. That makes sense. But I don't think you took groomer. Yeah, you tip the groomer, but I don't think you necessarily would tip. Not that we don't appreciate the work of the veterinarian, but I think they would build it in. You wouldn't go to the doctor and hey, thanks for taking out my gallbladder. Here's the next to 300 for the

[D]

yeah, I think people are pretty happy with what they're paying. It's enough.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. What do you think about this statement from one of JJ Watts listeners? Mandatory tipping both reflects and encourages the continuing use of entitlement culture and decline of meritocracy.

[B]

Your thoughts? Wow, somebody took social studies.

[E]

I mean they ruined their own point by writing it like that. If you say, hey, I really feel like mandatory tipping has hurt work ethic among you know, I would agree it does not Reward, work ethic. Ethic. Yeah, but to write it like that is just.

[B]

You get into whole thing about, well, why don't they just pay him more?

[A]

Voluntary tipping can foster empathy, but forced tipping often breeds resentment.

[E]

Sure, yeah. Tip when you can, if you want.

[G]

That's all.

[E]

That's, Those are the rules.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Remember the great scene of the movie, the apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz?

[A]

No one remembers. No one remembers.

[B]

They go to the family summer camp.

[A]

Trust me.

[B]

Yo, but that's a great, the guy takes a like a $50 bill, rips it in half, gives the kid half and he goes, take care of me this summer. I'll give you the other half also

[E]

if you're that guy.

[B]

Oh, it's, it's meant to be.

[E]

Right, right, right.

[A]

Even 50 bucks then was cheap.

[B]

Oh, no.

[E]

I remember joking with my dad one time ago. I'm gonna lie out or lay out like eight $1 bills and I'm gonna look at the server and go, every time you make a mistake, I take one of these away. And he goes, don't ever do that. I go, I would not ever do that.

[D]

You know, they're, they're rounding up bills now because we don't have pennies being made anymore. Did you see that?

[B]

Which is fine.

[A]

But yeah, I don't care about that.

[B]

There's. Now they're concerned there may be lawsuits from some a holes.

[A]

That we don't have pennies.

[B]

No.

[D]

That you're automatically rounding up.

[B]

They rounded up from like 2 cents to 5. Isn't the thing going to be they'll round it down? Yeah, if they're going to round it down if it's, if it's like 18, but they'll round it up if it's 19 or I, I don't know.

[D]

It was confusing.

[B]

You can't win.

[D]

I know.

[B]

Yeah. So let's move forward here. Is that sports?

[A]

More sports coming up.

[B]

Okay. Okay. Thank you very much.

[A]

It sounds so hopeful when you say is that sports? Well, yeah.

[B]

Do we have a treatment coming from the back a little bit later on?

[D]

Yes, we do.

[B]

Okay, good. I'm certainly looking forward to that. Here in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[I]

Just gotta get a hold of us. Call, text or email. Get all the contact information you [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show. Square up a new podcast from Andre Berto.

[A]

What's going on, man? It's Andre Berto, two time world champ

[I]

behind the scenes of life as a professional Boxer People want to see more.

[A]

They want to see who you are as a fighter. Like I said, the time is now. I really wanted to do that. Sit down from a fighter's perspective.

[I]

Find out what it really means to be a fighter inside and outside the ring.

[B]

This fight game is such a roller coaster.

[A]

Square up, follow, and listen on your favorite platform.

[B]

Let's go. Loving everything.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We got to talk about Josh. I just. Just was reminded of something. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[D]

Hi, Chick.

[A]

There's Pat Godwin. Hello. There's Jess Hooker.

[D]

Hi.

[A]

Do we have food coming in or something?

[H]

No, but I do have something. I have a question for you guys.

[B]

You look great today.

[E]

Thanks.

[H]

I feel good.

[B]

Your hair looks good.

[A]

Isn't she perky AF. Look at that.

[B]

The thing is, with Ms. Hooker, almost every day there's a new hair thing going on.

[H]

You're not the only person. Person that said that. That I look different almost every time.

[B]

Yeah. And it really does transform your look. And I. I never point out when it's not wonderful.

[H]

No, honey, you do. You don't have to say anything. You make it very clear.

[B]

You look really nice today.

[H]

Thank you.

[A]

Hi, Ace. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.

[B]

And could I just ask. No, sure. Ms. Hooker has also worked in food service.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

As have I. I was a cook at a restaurant for a couple years before. You're a woodworker.

[A]

Magic. You send this back. Well, the cook says you're obviously never been exposed to a book.

[B]

What.

[A]

What does that.

[B]

It was really working in restaurants was the greatest. It was so much fun.

[H]

Sets you up.

[B]

And in those days, the cooks we didn't get. If they got lots of tips, we certainly didn't get any of them. And there are places now where they share them. But there was a thing we. Chick was just talking about in which JJ Watt.

[A]

No, it's jj. What?

[B]

Post a question about tipping. Because it's gotten to the point where now most places, they have the machine, they turn it around, and you know what? The. The screen. Right. And they've got the tips. You just. It's fine.

[E]

By the way. He was just asking JJ Watts as charitable as they. So, you know, he.

[A]

I just went to our favorite seafood place and I got two. Two containers out of the cold case right there by the register. Put them up on the. The scale. The guy rang him up and whipped the thing around, and I. I feel like I have to tip. So I tipped.

[H]

I Didn't know they still whipped around. Most of them are just like, just facing you all the time.

[B]

But there are so many. I did one last night where you do the thing and then. Then they hand you a traditional paper, you have to sign the bill or

[D]

they hand you the little handheld thing that you fill it out.

[B]

Yeah. That to me is germ city. I hate that.

[A]

You don't want to touch that.

[B]

No, no.

[E]

Especially at like cvs.

[H]

Yeah.

[E]

When the pharmacies have some community keypad you have to use. I'm like here in.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Patient zero.

[B]

Yeah. Typhoid Mary. Didn't want to get near this one.

[H]

That's where they should have those finger condoms just sitting.

[B]

So the one I go to. The one I go to does have hand sanitizer.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

But did you know in your cases of working at restaurants and stuff, did you ever. Were you ever in a tipping capacity job? Yeah.

[H]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

You were a waitress.

[H]

Yeah, I was a waitress. Like I would do the lunch shift and then I would do private dinners with. And that's a very different element.

[E]

Our tips built into those.

[H]

Yes, they are. And then usually you'd get more tips because these are private dinners and people are loaded at the end of the night. Like they are, they. They bring alcohol and it's a good time. And yeah, it's, it's.

[E]

There you go. Top.

[H]

Yeah, but we. So I was not that last part.

[B]

I was listening to this. You ever heard the show Freakonomics?

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

And they were talking about a persuasion and stuff. And they, they. There was a great story about this high end waiter. And see if you buy this, what he would do is. And he would usually go say there was a table of eight and it was a nice restaurant. He would usually, when one of the women would order, he would say, oh, kind of look around going, I don't think you want to get that. That you know, or, or like, you know, tonight that real. There's. Oh, and then, and then the psychology is they would think, oh, this waiter's

[H]

on our side, really taking care of us.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. This guy, he's. He's watching out for us.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And then, you know, maybe persuade you to buy it.

[H]

I like that. I, I think a power move too is tipping before walking in and going, hey, I know you're going to take really good care of us tonight. Here's this.

[B]

Really.

[H]

And it's a motivator. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I like that a lot, lot.

[B]

That's interesting. But how can you do that? So that has to be A cash tip then?

[D]

Because you don't know how much your bill's gonna be.

[H]

No, no. And it's not anything crazy.

[A]

It's like a two, you know, some kind of an idea.

[H]

And then usually they would tip you the rest at the end of the evening. Yeah, but like, that goes towards your.

[B]

Now, do you think the. The great people that are delivering packages to us, and I'm a huge fan, and I'll always say, hey, do you. Do you want a Coke or do you want to come in? And, you know, can I get. No, I mean, every once in a while, some go, yeah, and I'll go in. I' who else did.

[A]

Ed Gein. I'm just saying invite people into their

[B]

home, they don't get tipped. Whereas back in the day, you can on Amazon.

[D]

If you go to the. My package was great. And then you fill out those little things, they will get a tip for that.

[H]

No kidding.

[B]

But do they know it's. But they don't know it's from you.

[H]

Well, why do you need the credit?

[D]

Yeah, why do you need the credit?

[B]

Because I want. I want to do it because I was a paper boy for many, many years.

[A]

You were a gratitude hunter, is what you.

[B]

When I was a paper boy, I would know who the big tippers were, and I'd make sure that their paper was inside the door. The door was properly shut. I didn't slam it.

[A]

How do I get people to put my packages on the front porch instead of down by the garage door that I sometimes run over them when I leave?

[B]

You tip them. Maybe that would work. I didn't know that. I did not know that. That was a.

[H]

You have to, like, walk up a hill to get to your front porch.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

No.

[H]

That's a pain in the ass. They should leave it right there.

[E]

But it's still his front porch. That's where the packages go.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

I actually put a table out on my front porch so that there was something stand. Well, no, like a little side table so they can put the packages.

[A]

Well, that destroys the whole look of the house.

[D]

Oh, it's. It's an outdoor table.

[B]

It's an eyesore, by the way.

[A]

Is there a.

[B]

Is there. Is there a repository for all the pictures they take of.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Your packages sitting on you, the ones

[A]

that are just a total blur. I love those pictures. I laugh so hard. This guy's really working. Oh, man. There. There he goes.

[B]

Is there a way you can put people in. In them?

[F]

Like.

[B]

Like you're photobombing the guy at Fedex in any event, the tipping thing has gotten out of hand either. The day I was at a vending machine and it asked for a tip. Really? That seems.

[E]

It's gotten out of hand.

[B]

That sort of defines.

[A]

Would you like a 20 or 25 tip?

[B]

Do you remember the best tip you ever got? Did you ever get like one outrageously great tip? Yeah, yeah.

[H]

Yes, I did. I got a. It was 250 bucks.

[B]

The tip.

[H]

The tip was. But the dinner was. It was not a cheap dinner and it was a lot of work. And like I said, it was a personal dinner and it was at someone's home. I was serving.

[B]

Oh, nice.

[H]

Yeah.

[E]

So you know about what that percentage ended up being?

[H]

35.

[E]

Okay.

[H]

Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's kind. And I mean. Yeah, more than kind, but you cook

[F]

it too or just serve it.

[H]

I just served it.

[F]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[H]

And you know, did you have to

[B]

split that with the chef?

[H]

Entertainment with me too, you know, like I. Yeah, yeah. I didn't have to split it. It was just me.

[A]

I was serving a family nappy rejoinder every now and then.

[H]

Dinner and a show when I'm there,

[F]

a couple of quips. You didn't dance though, did you?

[A]

No.

[H]

No dancing? No, dad. That's way extra.

[B]

Okay.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

Now, Josh.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

In the world of stand up comedy.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

You toured for many years as a stand up. A Pat Godwin. You guys both still do great stand up.

[F]

Thank you.

[B]

Have you.

[A]

This is gonna sound plays right into my question.

[B]

Have you ever gotten a tip? Not from the club owner, say, but if you ever had someone from the audience come up and go, great show.

[F]

And we were just talking about this and.

[B]

Yes.

[F]

It happens a lot.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah. And it's very generous. It's completely unnecessary.

[B]

I have never heard of that either.

[D]

And I heard him talking about it in the break room.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

What? You forget that Josh not only got a tip, but someone bought his boxer brie boxers for 300 used boxers.

[H]

Or they click clean or laundered.

[E]

They were laundered. They didn't come for like off my body.

[H]

Okay.

[E]

It was this person said they were coming to the show and they would like to buy a pair of my boxers. And I said, I'll have them for you.

[H]

Was it a guy or girl?

[E]

It was a couple. Oh, yeah. It was mostly the wife. The husband didn't seem too thrilled by it.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

He was standing behind. I remember. I was there.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

But there was talk of them being put in some sort of shadow box and displayed in their home kind of A funny thing.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Sweet.

[B]

What is that all about?

[H]

Kind of.

[A]

You're a cuck.

[B]

Do they do that to every comedian?

[E]

I don't think so. I think no. No, of course.

[H]

Just me collecting comedians underpants.

[B]

I do. I don't understand what the point.

[D]

They're big fans.

[E]

It started on the air. I said, I'm gonna start selling my underpants.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah. So they were fans.

[B]

I think they'd want him game worn, frankly.

[E]

You know, I think in the exchange I said, hey, I'm not to going gonna. I'll go ahead and wash these.

[F]

Yeah.

[E]

So it was agreed upon. I don't think there was disappointment when they didn't.

[F]

And she.

[B]

If they're not game worn, the sun tea really isn't gonna do it.

[E]

Well, true. It's gonna be a milder tea.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

It's not gonna have the kick that you want.

[E]

Right, right.

[B]

Not gonna have the. The zing, the zip, the pizzazz.

[F]

And they. And she actually brought gifts for everybody too.

[E]

Very generous people.

[F]

Nice little letters that she would.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Wonderful people. On a totally different note, that has nothing to do with this. We've been working on a special T shirt we're going to be doing opening day Cincinnati. I'm very excited. Have you seen the shirt? It's great.

[H]

Yeah, I've seen your shirt.

[B]

It's got a. It's got a really obscure thing on it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

We're doing a special show. Special shirt for Cincinnati.

[A]

It's some sort of secret. Don't poo poo, poopoo poo.

[B]

The money goes to a great charity.

[A]

Oh, you didn't tell me that.

[B]

Called Brave Guy Gowns that they sew little superhero costumes for kids that. Little kids that are in the hospital. It's terrific charity. Even if you don't buy the shirt, you can make it. We have it. We'll set it up so you can make a donation.

[H]

You can do that actually right now.

[B]

We got that going.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

We don't have a picture of the shirt yet, do we? Just finished it yesterday.

[A]

You know what I found is my reds jacket. It's a replica of a 1942 or 1939 Cincinnati Red Jacket that is navy blue. Blue with a reds.

[H]

Oh, that's cool.

[A]

A reds logo on the brass.

[B]

It's not red.

[A]

No, it's. That's what they are. Yeah.

[B]

Cool.

[A]

I don't think red had been invented yet in 1939. Yeah, that's right.

[B]

Yeah. The commies didn't hit here till. What was it?

[D]

Why weren't they the Cincinnati blues.

[A]

63.

[B]

60. 63 commies. Okay. The point is we got this really cool shirt. We'll be getting a picture of it up there pretty soon. It'll be available when we get there, of course, at. We're going to be doing it from a place called Smokejust Us and it'll be available on our website. And it's. There's. It's a really cool thing and there's a really funny, obscure reference on the shirt. I'll wait for someone to figure it out.

[A]

Was it in the sample that you sent us yesterday?

[E]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, but you had.

[A]

I don't, I didn't.

[B]

You'd. It was in very small type. You'd have to really go way up and blow it up.

[H]

It's. Don't worry about it, man. Don't worry about it.

[A]

Not. It's really not worth. Yeah, you're going to be very disappointed.

[B]

It's incredibly cool and hip.

[H]

It is cool.

[B]

And those that get it will know

[H]

it's kind of throwback vintage Y, right? Yeah.

[E]

But the shirt looks great.

[G]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, that's all coming up and hey, Christy, how come you're doing this so late?

[D]

Doing what so late?

[B]

The sad.

[D]

It's not my fault you won't shut up. Hey, it's the Hyundai Getaway Sales Event going on now because you can get a great deal on their most popular model models, including the Tucson or my favorite, the Tucson hybrid. Need something just a tad bit bigger. How about the Hyundai Santa Fe or Santa Fe hybrid? And then of course there's the wonderful sedan, the Elantra, that's loaded with all the latest bells and whistles. And the electric Ionic 5 and Ioniq 9 are available as well. Get down to your local Hyundai dealer and get a deal you're gonna love. It's called the Hyundai Hyundai Getaway Sales Event going on now. Visit HyundaiUSA.com for all the details. That's Hyundai USA.com not any Hyundai.

[A]

It's hun. Yay. That's what you'll say when you drive a Hyundai.

[B]

Oh, I see you're applauding it. Since we're so late, I'll feel free to tell the story. You know the famous Sinatra tip story. Sinatra was a.

[A]

Who's Sinatra?

[B]

Frank Sinatra. Famous, famously great tipper. You probably know the story. Pat Sinatra said to this bellman, or bellboy, whatever he said, what's the biggest tip you ever got? And a hundred dollars, sir. So Frank hands him 200 bucks and he's walking away. Said, by the way, who gave you the 100 bucks. You did, Mr. Sinatra. Duke him, Jilly. Thank you very much. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

I just saw snow showers.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Shut up. It's the Bob and Tom Show. The O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee at the news desk.

[D]

Hello.

[A]

There's Pat Godwin.

[G]

Hello.

[A]

There's Jess Hooker. Hello. Hello. Josh Arnold. Hello.

[E]

And Happy Friday the 13th all.

[A]

Yes. There's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick McGee. And we're in Sportsland. Ready? The Big 12 Conference is ditching their slip. They say the players say slippery new glass floor.

[E]

Ah.

[A]

For a hardwood court for the final two days of the tournament. In a statement last night, Big 12 commissioner Brett York said, after consultation with the coaches of our four semifinal basketball teams, I've decided that in order to provide our student athletes with the greatest level of comfort on a huge stadium stage, we will transition to a hardwood court for the remainder of the tournament.

[E]

So hard.

[A]

There has been rumors that the floor is slick. A couple of people that have no serious injuries yet, but last night slipped it.

[D]

And I like a traditional hardwood for his ankle.

[A]

But this is the extra kind of coverage you're going to see for basketball to hopefully, hopefully regenerate their ratings. They. They don't have great ratings that much anymore. The NBA's looking at a down, down year. Yeah.

[B]

Well.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's hard to motivate guys when they're all making 100 million bucks a year. It doesn't matter if they win or lose.

[A]

Have you seen the TV court where they can be all you take. They take an iPad and you can.

[B]

That's great.

[A]

Put, put up on the court. Whatever. Whatever team. Whatever. Yeah.

[E]

I mean pregame and between periods there. What do they call them, quarters or

[A]

halves in college basketball? Two halves.

[E]

It is now.

[B]

Would they eventually. They couldn't they do something with ice and pocky.

[A]

Well, they, they've done that with ice for a long time.

[B]

They.

[A]

There's some sort of video presentation on the ice. I think they can a lot of

[E]

times the, the, the above lights.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Well, shine stuff on the ice. And then on TV broadcasts, they can put whatever they want on the ice, but in terms of actually underneath it. Underneath it.

[B]

That'd be really cool. Like, you look like a guy trying to get out.

[E]

Yeah. There's no LED type stuff underneath yet. I don't know how they do it.

[A]

You know, a guy trying to get out of the ice. That reminds me when I was A kid, a friend of mine, again, he went through the.

[B]

Okay. Happened. Now, are they going to be able to get a camera in the football? I think it's going to happen.

[A]

No, there's no need for it.

[E]

There is no need and there's.

[B]

No, no, no. You don't understand. There's a lot of things we don't need in our culture that we get anyway.

[E]

Yeah, but that's not. There's no demand for it.

[B]

Oh, yes, there is.

[E]

Why? What's the demand for the.

[B]

I want to see it.

[E]

I think you don't.

[A]

Yes, I do. No, you'll see it and you'll go, oh, yeah, that's great.

[E]

Yeah. It will not enhance the.

[B]

You don't think it would be incredibly

[E]

cool pool once, maybe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like in golf, you see the ball going up.

[A]

What do you envision? They already.

[E]

Exactly. They already simulate that.

[A]

They. They shouldn't cover golf shots the way they do. They follow the ball up in the air. That's real stupid.

[B]

Oh, it's not as great.

[A]

Yeah. Sid it.

[E]

You know what we're doing.

[A]

I am so fake mad about this. I can't stand it.

[B]

No, it'd be really cool if they

[E]

were also talking to a guy who

[A]

barely watches sport and he just thinks he's.

[B]

That's why I don't watch. They don't have a camera on.

[A]

I was listening to ESPN the other night. Evidently, the Dallas Cowboys are going to be making some moves later. Is that right?

[B]

I would never say that. I would never listen to that crap at night anyway.

[A]

Hey. President Donald Trump says he doesn't think it'd be appropriate for the Iranian soccer team to attend this year's World Cup. He said last night, for their own life and safety, as reasons the team members should not attend the US Co host alongside Mexico and Canada, the World Cup. So the FIFA president, Gianni Infantino. Tiny little baby Infantino. Infantino says that President Trump assured him Iranian players and coaches would be welcome despite the war that is broken.

[E]

How many teams are there?

[B]

I'm not sure.

[E]

I'll look it up. 12.

[A]

Is it 12?

[H]

I have no idea.

[A]

Half dozen. They have to qualify. And then you get your teams. Thank you, Josh.

[D]

And let's look it up.

[A]

Here we go.

[B]

I don't care.

[A]

Wnba. Well, if you'd like to know, why don't you look it up?

[D]

I thought Iran said they weren't coming to the World cup, but I. I

[A]

don't think they are, but I. The women defected. Australia, right? Yes.

[D]

Wow.

[B]

One of them did.

[A]

The women well, they, like.

[E]

They need to stay there for a little bit. Australia.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

The WNBA and their players.

[E]

Come on.

[D]

I would leave, too. Yeah, yeah. 48 teams are in the World Cup.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Four dozen.

[D]

48.

[B]

Thank you. Next.

[A]

This is your fault.

[E]

Why? I'm not the one who did the story.

[A]

The WNBA and its players union. You've not met for 16 hours during a third straight day of negotiations. New collective bargaining agreement. This is.

[E]

I have questions, but I won't ask

[A]

a can of worms.

[B]

They want a percentage of the gross and they're offering a percentage of the net.

[A]

Doesn't explain. He doesn't know what he's talking about.

[B]

That's exactly.

[A]

Do we have.

[B]

Anyone who's read anything would know that?

[D]

Oh, God, here we go.

[A]

Minnesota Vikings have signed Kyler Murray. They focused their latest quarterback search on the shortest quarterback ever, the first overall pick from the 2019 draft released by the Cardinals. And you'll see him here at practice. There he is the other day.

[E]

That's a child.

[D]

That is a child.

[A]

That's actually Kyler Murray. As when he played peewee football. He was on the bike. Isn't that cute?

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

His head looks gigantic.

[A]

A lot of people. Yeah. You know that's a helmet. That's not his head.

[B]

Oh, so his head's not that big?

[D]

No.

[B]

Okay. Sir can't even spell Thailand.

[E]

What was that story? Oh, here's a picture of a kid.

[H]

He's going to the Vikings.

[A]

That guy is Kyler Murray. Now, he grew up and he's a quarterback in the NFL. And when he was playing in peewee football, as I explained earlier, he wore the Vikings. He played for the Vikings.

[E]

Oh, so it's just some weird.

[B]

So, yeah, the odds are like a 1 in 36 or whatever.

[E]

Isn't that something?

[F]

So cute.

[A]

Wait a minute. I'm getting a message. Oh, yeah, I have to message. Yeah, I. I know. I'm getting ready to leave. Hang on. Oh, geez. Here we go. Are you ready? Stupid. Something erased and not what I was a pig that'll do has achieved the Guinness World Record for the most followers on Instagram.

[B]

Which one of the Kardashians is it?

[A]

Swine. Oh, I have a joke.

[E]

Please do not smirch America's and Armenia's sweethearts.

[B]

Oh, yes.

[A]

They could have you bought and shipped out of the country. The pig's name?

[D]

I don't know.

[H]

What is it?

[A]

Have a guess.

[E]

Parky Swiny?

[D]

Paulie Porky Paul.

[A]

What did you guess? Bacon Swiny.

[E]

That's right.

[A]

Are you pouting?

[B]

How I love you. How I love you, my dear old swin.

[A]

Swiney.

[B]

What is P's name?

[A]

Merlin.

[D]

Merlin.

[A]

I never would have got a mini Vietnamese pot bellied pig. Who goes by Merlin the pig online.

[B]

They didn't know it. Charlie. Oh, okay.

[E]

Charlie the Vietnamese pig. Dress him up in black pajamas.

[A]

Charles is definitely in charge here in the record title. After 1.1 million followers on Instagram.

[E]

Adopted Accounting for taste.

[A]

Adopted by Mina. It's Ali.

[D]

How much money are they making off of the pig?

[H]

A lot.

[B]

Merlin.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, this is. So they have dogs that do this. Merlin can communicate his wants and needs using customizable voice recorded buttons.

[E]

Those are fun.

[A]

Those are great.

[B]

Great.

[A]

If you see the. Where's dad? Where's dad? Yeah.

[B]

They have their own Merlin. They have their own social media.

[E]

Who's that?

[B]

Pigs. Yeah. Instam.

[E]

Wow. Man.

[F]

I'm longest vacuum ever.

[B]

I got a wow from.

[A]

That was a. That was a Guinness world record.

[F]

You just set the record.

[A]

Longest vacuum ever. Oh my insta hammer. Damn.

[B]

Do we have a video of this pig? Do we. Can we see this thing?

[A]

There he is. Oh, he's hideous.

[D]

That is ugly.

[B]

His head is too big.

[E]

He's wearing a beanie with a propeller on.

[D]

Yeah, sure is.

[H]

Yeah.

[D]

Clearly.

[H]

This is about the pig.

[E]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

There's a girl wearing. If that. If that. Hey, there's skirt or any shorter. She has to hide her.

[H]

Look at that.

[B]

The JJ with her hand.

[D]

There's.

[A]

There's two pigs in that picture.

[E]

Guys.

[H]

Not at all.

[A]

Are you kidding me?

[B]

She's very hot. That's.

[A]

Look at that mouth. I can't give you change for a 10.

[H]

You don't know if she's 12 or 30.

[F]

That's true.

[E]

We should shut up.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

Thank you guys. From the bottom of our human and piggy hearts. Obviously. Couldn't have done it this without you. We're forever grateful for your consistent love and support. I'm surprised support wasn't spelled with a dollar sign. That's what I.

[B]

That pig's bringing home the bacon.

[A]

You're setting records.

[E]

I'm jealous. Don't you wish you were having as much fun as he is?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Where he is.

[D]

I would.

[A]

Look at him. The sun is shining where he is. My God.

[F]

Like that we'd be crying.

[A]

He's laughing so hard.

[D]

Its own little world.

[A]

He's still out. Unbelievable.

[E]

I get why it has a million followers. It's a cute little animal.

[F]

It's what?

[B]

And people have nothing better to do in their lives because the world's perfect.

[A]

Ah, yeah.

[B]

I'm going to kick back.

[D]

Wouldn't you rather look at that?

[A]

Absolutely.

[E]

That's why it's so popular.

[D]

That's why Punch is so popular.

[E]

It's a nice rest.

[B]

Does the woman in that picture have like an Instagram thing of her own? I'm a guess. I don't know.

[A]

Maybe she should shows her

[D]

she doesn't need one. She has a million followers.

[H]

Only hands.

[D]

Hunch the monkey. Little monkey in Japan.

[B]

Oh, God, yeah, I'm over that one.

[D]

Oh, it's everywhere. Everywhere.

[H]

I haven't watched it yet.

[A]

The girls following Punch the Monkey.

[B]

I hope not. I know I'm a failure as a father in many ways, but if that's the latest, I'm going on the basement with a scarf and end it all.

[F]

A scarf? That's not going to hold.

[A]

Hang on, hang on. I've been. He has a plan which alarms me.

[E]

How many knots are in that scarf?

[A]

You like to shove things in your body.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

That scarf. You're in a safe place. Talk to us.

[B]

Is that sports?

[A]

Yes, Tom.

[B]

Okay, thank you very much.

[A]

It is sports.

[B]

Very enlightening.

[A]

And Remember, there are 48 team.

[E]

I forgot. I forgot the golden rule.

[B]

Monday we'll be asking you to pay close attention to men's college basketball because we're going to have our special competition courtesy of orange insoles. Some serious cash at stake. Get the details. It'll be a bracketology selection Sunday and

[A]

then the Games start Tuesday. 182 teams in the shirt.

[B]

So that means that are we going to. Every year we get that thing. Remember that. What is it? What is the name of that firm? It's like Christmas Grace and. And party. It's like Christmas Grace and buzzkill. And it's always. The economy is going to go bad because.

[D]

Nothing to do with the tournament this

[B]

year because people are watching. People are watching basketball. Yeah, they're watching basketball to get away from gas prices.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, Christy, give me the teaser. What do you got going on?

[D]

Coming up, we're going to talk about puppies. Who doesn't don't love puppy.

[E]

I hate him.

[A]

I had a puppy. I called him swiney.

[D]

We'll also touch on the orgasm. We're going to talk about.

[B]

We're going to touch orgasms.

[D]

Yes, we're going to touch orgasms. And we have red Fox in the news today, you big dummy.

[B]

Yeah, I love red fox. Oh, do you see? Sadly, I believe Demand Wilson just passed away.

[A]

I like a year at two years ago while.

[B]

Oh, it's been A while.

[H]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, I just found out about it. Sorry to hear that. I love.

[A]

Why didn't you believe me when I said it's been a while? Because Ace knows. Because he's black and demand is black.

[E]

No, I look like Brady.

[A]

That's exactly what you think that is.

[E]

I. I think you're right.

[A]

I think I'm exactly right on this.

[B]

Yes, that's it. No, it's because Ace watches more bad television than you do. Although that's almost impossible.

[A]

Jess, I don't know if you heard this earlier, but Tom had this guy comment.

[B]

I drove through the hood this morning.

[H]

I know. And it's nowhere near the hood.

[D]

I know. We know. In his mind it is.

[A]

And don't get him started on that. That needless bus route that he has to navigate around.

[B]

They put a bus line in. They could have bought a Rolls Royce for every human being that's ever ridden it.

[A]

He's so far removed from Joe Six Pack. Really?

[H]

Really.

[B]

Right now I want to talk to you if. Even if you're Joe Six back, I want to talk to you right now.

[A]

Especially you're Joe.

[B]

If you have gotten your credit cards, maybe those that the debt you have on your credit cards gotten out of hand, are you aware that they're charging you an incredible interest rate on those things? Usually it's like 20 plus percent. So if you've built up a huge debt on those and you're thinking, well, every time I get my paycheck, it all goes to pay that off. Well, here's a interesting solution. Let's just say you own a house, you probably have a lot of equity in that, especially now because the average house in the United States has gone way up in value in the last five or six years. So what you can do is take advantage of that equity. And some folks that'll be happy to help you do that are the folks at American Financing. And the idea is to take some of the equity in your house, pay off the credit cards with a refi, find out all the details by talking to the folks that know how this works. Once again, American financing.net and you can even go to Americanfinancing.net BobandTom and they've done some number crunching and they're saying right now their average savings is about 800 bucks a month. And they can also do a thing, depending on when you get involved, that could even delay two mortgage payments. So help yourself get back out. I guess get out of being underwater. By visiting our friends at American Financing. You can even call them 866-889-260 11 that's American Financing.net Bob and Tom NMLS 182334 nmlsconsumeraccess.org APR for rates in the 5 start at 6.196%. For well qualified borrowers, call 866-889-2611. For details about credit costs and terms, visit American Financing.net BobandTom thanks for listening

[I]

to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Even though we're not too much to look at. You can also watch the show on our YouTube. YouTube channel.

[A]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. There's Josh Arnold.

[E]

Hi there.

[A]

There's Pat Godwin. Hello. Hey, look, there's Christy lee.

[D]

Hey, Chick McGee.

[A]

There's Ace Cosby.

[E]

Howdy.

[A]

I am Chick McGee and Tom. Jess Hooker is here and she has a question for the room. I believe I do. What do you think of that?

[B]

Go, go ahead. I had a fact I wanted to get wedged in here, but do you

[H]

want to do that instead?

[B]

Real quick, just real quick. Demond Wilson, the very fine actor. He see, he, he just died January 30, but say it's like two years ago. But his first name, real first name was Grady, Grady Demond Wilson. And of course, Ace was portraying Grady on our show for a couple months there with that beard.

[A]

You're still going with that?

[B]

Oh, yeah, absolutely. It's separated at birth. Your, your fact. You want to dummy. Thank you very much. Your fact.

[H]

No, my question is, so there's this thing on social media right now and it's, it's a hear me out take. Okay.

[E]

Yeah.

[H]

And so it's the question rotating right now is what is your most unconventional crush or attraction? Like, for example, mine, I have two. Jim Belushi's one.

[E]

Okay.

[H]

And that's palatable for mine most. My other one is O.J. simpson.

[E]

Okay.

[H]

So it might be controversial. It might be odd.

[E]

You can't help it. You find him handsome.

[H]

I do. And I like his voice. And, you know, he was a funny guy, you know, outside of the other things.

[E]

Well, sure, yeah.

[H]

The murder. But yeah.

[E]

Nordberg the great.

[H]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Nordberg.

[H]

So do you guys have. And maybe this is, maybe you guys think about this over the weekend.

[B]

Unconventional. Is that the.

[H]

Yeah. Or, or, or most people would be like, oh, horrified.

[A]

Most people can't, can't explain it.

[H]

Yeah. You can't just hear me out there.

[B]

But it has to be a romantic,

[H]

just like you're attracted.

[E]

Is this considered unconventional? One of my, I I am wildly attracted to Rachel Ray.

[H]

No, that's not because she's.

[A]

No, she's.

[H]

But I think one that might be

[A]

a lot of people.

[B]

I think she's. She's really. Okay.

[E]

So that's not.

[B]

She looks really nice.

[E]

So I need to keep thinking here.

[H]

Maybe like, like a cartoon character or an animal or something like that. Something that's.

[E]

I've always wanted to make love to an orca. Is that weird?

[B]

A love.

[F]

No, it's unconventional.

[D]

That is unconventional, by the way.

[B]

Good luck with that.

[H]

But like maybe somebody that's.

[E]

That's how I want to go.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

Just maybe you're sexually attracted to Sandra Bernhardt.

[E]

I kind of was.

[A]

No kidding.

[E]

When I, when there. When I was younger, I didn't. I didn't know anything about her.

[H]

Right.

[E]

And she was in Hudson Hall Hawk.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[E]

And I was kind of like, oh man, I. I kind of think that chick's hot.

[H]

Yeah.

[D]

Wasn't she in Playboy?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, famously.

[B]

Yeah, they. And that was come somewhat controversial because she was not conventional. Was conventionally good.

[D]

What is whatever good looking look like your normal bunny.

[E]

I think she was also maybe messing around with Madonna in that Truth or Dare movie.

[H]

Yeah.

[E]

And there was like. I thought that was hot too.

[A]

Oh, now you have, you have the, the girl. Girl attraction.

[E]

No, but I. No, not really. I don't. Cuz to me it's a party that I wasn't invited to and so I don't. I want to be welcomed.

[A]

Right.

[B]

These are all interesting. Pat, do you have a unconventional.

[H]

Maybe someone that's not your type? You could think of it that way.

[A]

We wouldn't think it's your type. But you're attracted to like.

[H]

Don't you. Don't you think Jessica Rabbit is hot?

[E]

Absolutely.

[A]

Yeah.

[H]

Okay, that's. That would.

[E]

Lola Bunny, I think is hot.

[H]

Okay.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[E]

Now I'm not saying I would.

[H]

No.

[E]

Use them as material, if you know what I mean.

[B]

That has to be a very particular fetish.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

And it's out there, but it's not.

[B]

It is.

[H]

Oh yeah.

[E]

My gosh.

[D]

Anime is big.

[E]

What do they call that?

[D]

Hente number one porn.

[A]

Remember Wayne in Wayne's World? He was attracted to Bugs Bunny when Bugs was dressed up like a girl.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

A lot of makeup.

[D]

Oh, with a lipstick.

[B]

No. Christy, do you have a. I can't gent.

[A]

That is.

[B]

I'm.

[D]

I'll have to think about this.

[H]

Yeah.

[D]

I have no idea.

[B]

Like the Hulk.

[D]

Oh, not the Hulk. What about you?

[B]

No, I'M trying to. This is as you said, maybe I'll have to take the weekend to think about it. Yeah, yeah.

[H]

We can come back to it.

[A]

It seems to me like you, you like. Weren't you attracted to Twiggy? Didn't you meet Twiggy when you were no youngster?

[B]

No, but there's a connection, a personal connection. I've actually met. Met her, but yeah, not at all. Not at all attractive.

[H]

His would be like what he calls a dirty leg. Like, like a hippie type chick. Like if there's someone like that in that vein, that.

[B]

Excuse me.

[A]

Mystic Whis world. Can you.

[B]

What is this? What is this? I'm not living in Victorian England.

[A]

No. They would come up and try to big money and you go, well, like.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that's it.

[A]

Don't clean yourself up and get in

[H]

the back seat like Janis Joplin. Would you do. Okay.

[E]

I, I. Yeah, okay.

[H]

Yeah, yeah, that would be one.

[E]

Yeah. I like this Patty Smith.

[H]

Oh, another unconventional.

[A]

What did you think when she wasn't that an album cover with her Patty with an eye.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Harry Armpit. Right.

[B]

Well, that's a famous album cover because it was taken by Robert Mapleton.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

She was best friends with him, but that's actually a good book.

[A]

Didn't the hairy armpit put you off?

[B]

No, no, the awful music put me off. She was covering a Bruce Springsteen song for her only hit. I'm sorry.

[A]

That's her now.

[B]

You know what time it is. I know it's time to look at the big screen, I think. Oh, no, we're not gonna look at the big screen.

[E]

Okay, well, we have to wait. Okay, well, the man's got a certain bit that takes a certain amount of time. I wasn't in here. Did the producer come in at one point and say, hey, next we have.

[H]

Yes. I didn't know that. You did.

[B]

Sorry.

[E]

No, it's not your fault. It's that man's fault.

[B]

Oh, okay. You know, Damon Wilson's first name is

[A]

by the way, Brady. I have told the powers that be. It started the wheels are in motion. That whatever you have over there to mention locally and you know what I mean, they're going to put it my workstation from now on and your workstation just in case case on the rare happening that you're not here when the show starts.

[H]

You just motivated him to be on time.

[A]

I know.

[E]

I, I like that. He's, he's, he's finally bossing it up.

[B]

I was dealing with an electronic problem in the other room.

[A]

No, you weren't.

[B]

Yes, I was.

[A]

Embracing this whole.

[B]

I have a witness. There was a technical issue with the coffee machine.

[A]

Who wouldn't. You'd lie. And everybody here switches swear to it.

[F]

By the way, are you taking a month for your attraction? You're going to take a month and then answer.

[B]

What?

[A]

Why?

[H]

Why a month?

[F]

Because you asked him what he was unconventionally attracted to and he said he. That would. He'd have to take some time.

[E]

Here's one. Here's another one of mine. Delta Burke.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[H]

Nice. She's pretty.

[B]

Yeah, she is.

[E]

Ace, you don't like a heavier white woman.

[D]

Wow. Well, she's not blonde.

[E]

Oh, Christy, you're racist.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I was being smart. What?

[B]

We don't have time to blast through even today in history.

[H]

Sorry.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

Oh, don't be sorry. That's a good topic. Yeah, it's mismanager of time.

[B]

Christy, what have you got coming up?

[D]

Coming up. We're going to talk a lot about orgasms, masturbation.

[E]

I'm going to warn you though, Jess in the hallway at some point in the next three hours. Oh, yeah, this will be over heard. Well, the show was going great until hooker derailed it.

[F]

Just trying to get us all in

[E]

trouble out of nowhere.

[A]

You know how I hate surprises.

[B]

I was ready to say, look at the big screen. And now he's gonna be mad.

[E]

So that'll. Yeah, there's a chance we're not even getting that today. I might go to next week.

[B]

We have a classic graffiti coming up. How about that?

[A]

That'll be.

[B]

Be fun. And what happy accent and what not to use as a sexual lubricant.

[E]

Is there a whole list?

[B]

There's one.

[A]

Motor oil honey full of beans.

[B]

Those are all good, but it involves something that's of course all over the Internet suggesting you do this. And there's a doctor that says, stop, stop. Don't do it. We are going to continue to do this. I hope. We'll be in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Hope you can be here with us. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[I]

Want to share a letter or comment? Our email is Bob and Tom. Bob and Tom dot com.

[B]

Some pretty cool tickets.

[A]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Yes. How unprofessional. National.

[B]

No, it's nice that you can irritate me. Not with just your speaking. Yeah, that was just the content of your. Of your mouth. But the. The irritating.

[A]

Yeah. Rustling of.

[B]

Rustling of papers.

[A]

My God. There's Christy Lee at the news desk. There's Pat Godwin.

[F]

Hey, Chick.

[A]

It is Friday. Jess Hooker.

[D]

Hi.

[B]

Everyone who says for I is going to get fired.

[A]

Josh Arnold.

[E]

Oh, you know what? I might have a fish go to a fish fry today.

[D]

Oh, yeah, There's a lot of them out there to choose.

[E]

Yeah, I can just go and take a styrofoam thing home, right?

[A]

Yeah, absolutely. A lot of them now have drive ups.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

Great. I'm doing it.

[A]

There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick. Hello. Tom.

[B]

Changing religions?

[D]

Aria, you don't have to be in a religion to enjoy the fish.

[B]

You don't?

[A]

No, I believe you have to show your card. I think Tom's right on this.

[B]

No, they have to be circumcised.

[A]

Your Catholic card and you have to show them your joint.

[E]

Do we have a A guest?

[B]

We do. Let's look at the big screen. There he is.

[A]

Oh, boy.

[B]

And he's very happy.

[A]

Oh, boy.

[E]

He didn't even bother putting the time.

[B]

It's Jeff.

[G]

I'm on spring break this week, so I don't care. Which reminds me, I have a new sponsor this week. Community College. Where else are you going to meet this many single moms all in one place? Community College. I'm Jeff Oskay. We give you a lot of the news each week. We don't give you all the news. I'm here to give you the news.

[B]

A little closer to the mic there.

[A]

I love the laid back Osu.

[F]

He's even chewing gum right.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[G]

A man received a DUI in the Taco Bell drive thru after passing out in his car while waiting in line to order. Well, he failed to mention I'll have a Nacho Bell Grande. No, you'll have a bologna sandwich and an orange

[B]

they give you in prison, Pat.

[F]

That is exactly what they give you. Sandwich on an orange.

[G]

Mountain Dew is now the official drink of the Major League Baseball. Their first promotion. Dollar off admission. Dollar off admission for every tooth you're missing.

[F]

Pretty good.

[G]

Would have been better if I didn't mess it up.

[D]

No, stop.

[G]

Oh, here's one. Yesterday we were talking about that new study about those birds called Great Tits.

[D]

Yes.

[G]

What you failed to mention. Every bird in the study answered to the name Sydney Sweeney.

[A]

She's got some nice Sydney Sweeney.

[G]

That is from Doug, our listener.

[E]

Doug.

[G]

Very funny, Doug.

[E]

I enjoyed as he rips it up.

[B]

Don't blame Doug.

[E]

No, I'm not. No one is.

[A]

Oh, man.

[G]

Scientists proved that munchies are real. Well, you failed to Mention. If you saw our green room snack closet, you would think everyone in this building was high af.1 24 7. Like our green room snack closet is reason enough to drug test all employees. Just don't start with me.

[A]

Just the golden Oreos by themselves.

[D]

I just had one at the break. There's only one left, Jake. I left one.

[G]

Scientists are also saying that cannabis may preserve brain function in older adults.

[E]

What?

[G]

You failed to mention those scientists were high af. I've met and talked to old hippies. It does not preserve brain function. Oh, a dude set the world record for the most teeth in his mouth. 42 total teeth. What? You failed to mention it only takes him two chews before swallowing his food.

[B]

Was that last one from Doug?

[G]

Where's the shotgun? Oh, there it is.

[F]

I got one.

[E]

Failed to mention.

[D]

Thank you, Jeff.

[B]

He's gone.

[A]

We were asking the question earlier. What is our unconventional cross crush? Hear me out on one of those.

[B]

Okay. And Ms. Hooker, you said it was O.J. simpson and who else?

[H]

Jim Belushi is my other one. I have a lot of them. Well, Tom CK's one.

[A]

Sorry. Oh, gosh. Yeah, Tom's. Of course. I forgot about. This is. Oh, yeah, that's right, Paula. The upstairs made when he was a child from Germany, I believe.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

Heaving bosom.

[A]

I used to give Tommy a shower until he got too big for shower. Oh, Tom, you must give Paula that.

[B]

Yeah, that's it. We actually have a German tourist in the news, believe it or not.

[E]

Where's the German tourist? Tourist.

[B]

This is a. Well, this is a. One of those sort of frivolous lawsuits, I guess you could call it, involving salsa, of all things.

[H]

Okay.

[A]

Salsa dancing. Or the condiment.

[B]

No, the condiment.

[D]

A New York jugs. Jug. Now, see, I'm thinking I love New York jugs.

[B]

For the defense,

[D]

a New York judge has sided with a Manhattan taqueria after a German tourist sued the restaurant over its dangerously spicy salsa.

[A]

I like the word taqueria.

[D]

Taqueria. Mister.

[E]

Usually what I get after I eat too many tacos.

[D]

Mr. Fake. Mr. Fake. How Mons sued Los Tacos Number 11 for $100,000 in damages after he allegedly experienced tongue blisters, gastrointestinal problems, high blood pressure and emotional distress from eating the spicy salsa.

[E]

Let me go on. Like a blister on my tongue. Let me go on.

[D]

Mr. Mons alleged that the restaurant failed to warn customers about the spiciness of the salsas.

[A]

Big hands. I know you're the one.

[D]

He said in the complaint. For someone like me living In Germany and eating nothing spicy. Spicy. It was a very big shock physically and mentally.

[H]

I bet.

[D]

However, u. S. District judge dale ho ruled in favor of los tacos number one, saying, quote, mexican food and more specifically, salsa is often spicy.

[E]

What do you guys think? Does he have a case?

[H]

No, no, I think you.

[B]

You do.

[H]

One dip, you taste it, you know it's hot, it's over.

[E]

What if that one dip gave him the tongue blister?

[H]

That's crazy.

[B]

There's no way.

[A]

I think it should be sued for not having a personality.

[H]

Hang on.

[A]

It gets better. Spicy food, his own fault.

[B]

The guy asked him if you wanted it spicy. On a scale of 1 to 10, do you want it spicy? He went 9.

[E]

They didn't understand, you see.

[A]

Yeah, there was a. There was a language problem.

[E]

Christy has something else.

[B]

The man's a crowd, you see.

[E]

Sounds like to me like he's a sour crowd. He's not very happy.

[D]

The spicy salsa apparently wasn't the only problem on his trip. He also sued walmart over its wi fi policy.

[B]

See, this goes guy.

[A]

Wait a minute. What's walmart's full experience Exactly.

[H]

Everybody.

[B]

This guy.

[D]

That case was.

[B]

He came to America, the home of the frivolous lawsuit.

[A]

They charge you for the wi fi in walmart.

[D]

I've never tried to get on the walmart wi fi. Why would you go to walmart?

[E]

What is. Yeah, what is. He said he sued over their wi fi policy.

[B]

What could it be in there?

[H]

What are you doing? Working from.

[F]

Maybe they charge you.

[B]

You.

[D]

Well, they. You know a lot of park in the parking lot at walmarts.

[B]

Yeah. Who knows?

[E]

Some are actually like. Some are actually friendly about it.

[B]

Like.

[D]

Right. Like rvs and. Okay, so maybe that's got something to do with.

[E]

It might.

[B]

The guy is a jerk.

[D]

The guy. I would.

[B]

He's a penny pinching scrooge.

[D]

You know who isn't a jerk? Our good friend Pat godwin. We haven't heard one song from you today, pat.

[B]

Let's keep it that way.

[D]

No, why would I ruin.

[F]

Why would I put speed bump in this?

[E]

Wonderful. I'm with Pat on this.

[A]

Thank you, Josh. Thank you very much. Last thing we need is one of those clunky songs.

[D]

All right, never mind. A new study out there suggests taking a daily multivitamin may help slow aging. Researchers at mass General brigham and now analyzed data from a large clinical trial of older adults and found that after two years, those taking a daily multivitamin showed slower biological aging on several measures. Scientists say the findings could point to A simple, safe way to support healthier aging. This is so controversial because you have other people saying that you don't really need a multivitamin. And especially if you're getting it in your food. And I'm.

[B]

I'm.

[E]

Everybody's different.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

You take a vitamin every day.

[B]

I have Flintstones.

[D]

Do you? With iron.

[E]

I mean, there are plenty of adults who take Flintstones because it has the

[D]

iron and you can chew them up.

[F]

There's a joke coming. Go ahead.

[A]

No, no, no, no. You like to eat Betty. Is that what. Is that what you're.

[F]

Come on, do the joke.

[E]

Wasn't there an old thing where.

[B]

Whoa, Black Betty. Bamba lamb. Whoa, Black Betty.

[E]

A long time ago there were no Betty's in the Flintstones vitamins.

[D]

Is that true?

[E]

Like there was some character that was missing or something.

[A]

Dino it.

[H]

No, Dino's in there. I know Dino.

[E]

Is that a good Dino?

[B]

Was the Black Betty or was the Betty vitamin in black?

[H]

No. Why would she have the black.

[B]

Because of the song Black Betty.

[E]

Because of the song Black Betty. That the makers of Flintstones vitamins. Go.

[G]

You know what?

[B]

You know when Ram Jam did that great cover of that great song.

[E]

I'd like to ram Jam you into a combine.

[A]

Let's hear them out.

[B]

So this is saying that vitamins may be helpful.

[E]

Yeah, that's kind of.

[D]

Of course. That's what we all.

[H]

It's also when you take them and what you take them with.

[E]

Look, just discuss it with your.

[B]

Don't you take yours with vodka chick. Or you cut that out. Finally.

[A]

No. Oh, more vodka. The merry.

[B]

Okay, okay. A couple of Centrum silver minis.

[A]

I like the Minis. You like the mint. You know you have to take two of the Minis. I didn't see that in the fine print.

[B]

Aha. That explains the limp.

[A]

Yeah,

[E]

I can't stand that.

[A]

The regular vitamin. Those are gigantic.

[H]

Yeah, they are big.

[E]

I saw some fine print on my mouth wash that.

[D]

Really?

[H]

What is it?

[E]

It says, you know, one of the big things in the bottle is it does this, it does that, and 24 hour cavity protection. And then it had a tiny cross. And then when you go down and you look at the tiny cross, you know, like the asterisk. Yeah.

[D]

Reference.

[H]

Yeah.

[E]

It said when used twice a day.

[B]

Just put.

[E]

Just put. 12 hour cavity protection. I'm not gonna not buy it.

[B]

So wait a minute. It says you get 24 hour protection.

[E]

Yeah, twice a day. Twice a day.

[B]

That's interesting. That is really.

[A]

So if you take it twice a day for three days, it'd be 72 hour protection.

[E]

That's exactly right.

[H]

You guys mouthwash before bed?

[E]

No, I do in the mornings.

[H]

You do before bed too?

[D]

I do it because I, I use that dry mouth biotin or whatever it is.

[A]

Yeah, I draw. I mouthwash before I go to bed because I never know who I'm going to run into.

[F]

Knock on the door about 3:00am

[B]

on in.

[E]

Fred, you gay man.

[F]

You're so gay.

[B]

You're so gay.

[A]

Any port of storm, Jo. I have such a great house.

[E]

So you do have a good house.

[A]

If I were gay.

[E]

Oh,

[B]

it's well appointed.

[A]

Yes. One in Florida.

[B]

Well, coming up then. You'll want to hear the story. We have a story about lubricants in the bedroom and one that is in the bedroom and one that is being actively promoted online that is according to a physician in the most direct terms should not be used. I'll put it that way. Okay, you'll find out about that coming up. Now I also want to remind you about the aura frames. There's an aura frame right there. Right behind there's a picture of me with Al Jackson. There's a picture of all of us doing something. It's like a staff photo.

[D]

Yes, it's a big staff photo.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

You can tell you how happy we, we all are.

[B]

It's. It looks like the cool thing about the aura frame is you can load it with all kinds of pictures and you can load it with videos and it rotates them for you. It's like it's an old fashioned slideshow or like a PowerPoint except it's not something at work where you're watching a PowerPoint wishing it was a slideshow because at least you'd have the sound effects beside the yammering of the guy doing the PowerPoint. As you can see, things are way up right here.

[A]

Now.

[B]

The aura frame is the greatest gift ever. Christy Lee.

[D]

Yes, sir.

[B]

We had a love letter this morning. Remember this about the aura frame?

[D]

We had a couple of different letters.

[B]

They were people love. It's a great. You can, you can load this thing remotely. So for example, I'm able to load this thing from my house. Ms. Hooker, you. You've loaded it a bunch. I have.

[H]

And I've requested that Alzy load some pictures of the baby.

[A]

Boy, that is a good looking baby.

[H]

She's gorgeous.

[A]

Most babies are ugly. That's a good.

[B]

In any event, you can get an aura frame for yourself. How do you do that, Christy?

[D]

Well, aura frames is easy for a limited time. Bob and Tom. Listeners can get $35 off their best selling carver mat frame exactly like the one right behind Josh with Code Tom. That's a U R A frames.com use promo code Tom or A frames. Oh, and it doesn't hurt. Mention the Bob and Tom show. Right. Terms and conditions apply.

[B]

There's a picture of Pat Gowdwin with our new best friend, Hugh Jack when he was in here having a great, great time. So by all means, grab yourself an aura frame. We do get love letters about them from folks that get them. Yes, and it's a great gift, especially

[D]

if we give Aussie one. We should have given her one new baby and all.

[H]

Oh, yeah, we should get her one.

[B]

Yeah, so she can load it up.

[A]

Get me one for my dead body. She gets one.

[B]

Okay, thank you very much. Aura frames. A U R A frames.com promo code is Tom. Now coming up, we have, as I

[D]

mentioned, talk about puppy names too. A sweet store.

[B]

It is a great story.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Parvo. Come here, Parvo.

[A]

You know, I'm going to name my dog Come here so then I can say, come here. Stay. Come here.

[B]

That's actually in the story about names you should not give dogs.

[A]

Are you kidding me? I was doing my bad standup guy, you know, like Pat.

[E]

I mean, it's so true.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I'm kidding. The gloves are off. Yeah, said the guy who runs in various insults like hot water. Are you leaving the room now during commercials?

[B]

So, no, I fixed the machine. We're all good now. Coming up, we have ants in the news.

[A]

Ants in your pants.

[B]

Emmett's as ants. As opposed to uncles?

[D]

Yes.

[E]

Oh, that kind.

[D]

No, as in post.

[B]

Thank you very much. We'll get this back on track, I promise you. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tony Show.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee at the news desk. Hello. There's Pat Godwin.

[F]

Hello.

[A]

Jess Hooker is here. There's Josh Arnold.

[G]

Hi.

[A]

There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick McGee. And hello, Tom. Did you know I was at the Origin souls.com sports desk?

[B]

I just noticed you. How nice of you to be here. Okay, so, Pat, what song are we gonna play here?

[F]

Yeah, I have a throat full of coffee. Ask me again.

[D]

I mean, come on, you gotta play a song. What about. Don't you have anything? St. Patrick's Day is coming up.

[E]

Do you have an article to read? Why are you pushing him on a song? So Hard.

[A]

I will tell because I want to

[D]

hear him sing, and I don't want to talk.

[B]

I knew it.

[A]

Dear Bob and Tom show, long time listener, first time emailer. My husband and I rented a Hyundai Tucson to take on our vacation. Oh, we would love to have Christy come along on said vacation and broadcast from the back seat.

[D]

Oh, sure.

[A]

As we drive across country. That would be a lot of fun. That's from Jane.

[B]

She says you'd have to feed her.

[A]

Well.

[B]

Yeah, and take care of her.

[A]

And a nice restaurant, too. She doesn't go to just any restaurant. Yeah, she has her big potatoes now.

[B]

Pat, do you have a song that ties into one of the news stories that we have for Christy? What do you want to hear?

[D]

Well, something for St. Patrick's Day.

[E]

Here we go.

[D]

All right. Thank you.

[G]

Fine.

[F]

When the bar still spinning and the crowd is thinning? Maybe it's time to go home. It's starting to get light and there's no one to fight? Maybe it's time to go home. When you're hanging with Shia Labo, acting like an oh, maybe it's time, maybe it's time. Maybe it's time to go home. You've been knocking them back down at the pub since early this morning. You're drunk at noon, passed out at 5? Maybe that's a warden. When you're dancing with a girl whose real name's Earl? Maybe it's time to go home? When your bac is 33. Maybe it's time to go home? When you're driving with a Kennedy. See a bridge on down the road? Oh, maybe it's time, Maybe it's time. Maybe it's time to go home.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Thank you very much.

[A]

Yes.

[E]

When I watched you scroll through your laptop the whole time.

[D]

Yeah? I was looking for something. I was listening. It doesn't bang a Dungeon Job

[F]

song. You were scrolling through your phone.

[D]

That's exactly right.

[F]

I'm singing over here. Emotionally. Feeling all alone, you know, in your beautiful pink sweater.

[D]

Yes.

[F]

Oh, I'd love you, but I just forget her. Oh, maybe it's time, Maybe it's time.

[D]

Maybe it's time for me to go home.

[A]

Hey, you know what you should do, Pat?

[F]

Yes, sir?

[A]

You should ask Christy about a. A car she doesn't like or a city she wants to be from or one of those things and. And. And write a song just for her. That's.

[F]

That's. Yeah, I could easily do that.

[A]

I think you could. Do you know that, Tom?

[B]

But not right now. Now?

[A]

Why not? I think it'd be perfect right here.

[D]

We have things to do.

[F]

It's a four hour show.

[H]

We have puppy nothing.

[B]

This will cheer everybody up.

[D]

Yeah. There's an annual list of top puppy names has been released courtesy of the organization known as Camp Bow Wow. The dog care boarding provider analyzed its database of puppy campers and found the most popular names this year are.

[A]

Scooby.

[D]

Scooby's not in the top 10.

[E]

There's a camp for puppies. I love that. Yeah.

[D]

Of course dogs go to doggy daycare.

[A]

There's adult. Adult dog. I don't know where this is. Probably all across the country. They. They pick up your dog on a dog bus.

[E]

I love that.

[A]

And there's like 30 dogs on the. And their behavior.

[H]

My sister has a dog bus. She does a dog bus.

[A]

Yeah.

[H]

I love the dog bus. Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

What I questioned was camp.

[D]

Oh, sorry.

[H]

Well, how are they gonna get the camp, Josh?

[B]

And by the way, they no longer make the black dog sit in the back.

[A]

I'm sorry. How many dog camps are there?

[H]

How did he wreck such a sweet.

[E]

Ever since Rosie of barks applause for Mace too.

[A]

There's no humor in puns.

[B]

Okay, that's a nice. Thank you. That joke needed a save. So what are the top ten doggy puppy names?

[D]

Number ten, Willow. Number nine, Penny.

[E]

Willow. These are all nice.

[D]

Number eight, Bella.

[B]

Now see the. Obviously a lot of these puppy names are coming from contemporary television.

[A]

Of course. Because I have my fingers on a contemporary culture.

[D]

Number seven, Teddy.

[B]

I had my finger on the Executioner's gonna. The governor is gonna call before midnight to cancel Chick's execution. Unplug the phone.

[A]

Joey Bishop and Vaughn Meter.

[E]

How many Pomeranians. Are those the teddy bear looking ones?

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

I bet those are Teddy bear number six.

[D]

Cooper. Number five, Milo.

[B]

Now Milo is from.

[A]

Milo is from Something Goes to Heaven.

[B]

Milo and Otis. That's right. Okay.

[D]

Number four, Charlie. Number three, Lucy. Number two, Daisy. Number one. Number one. Puppy name Luna.

[H]

Luna.

[E]

This hasn't changed.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

At all.

[E]

This is really very similar to last year's list.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

And I. If you count Willow.

[A]

Very similar.

[B]

If you count Willow as Willie. I got four of the ten.

[E]

You don't count Willow as. Willow is not Willie.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

If. If we start calling him Willow.

[B]

That's his real name. Willow. What's up, Willow? You know what?

[E]

No wonder he goes by Willie. But. Yeah, you're right. You've got.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go over them again.

[D]

Aaron. Oscar.

[E]

What is your.

[B]

What is your. What are your dogs named?

[A]

Joey and Mrs. Monkey.

[B]

Mrs. Monkey. Now, do you. Do you call her just Monkey or.

[A]

I call her Monk. I call her Doodle. I call her Boo.

[H]

Boo.

[B]

Boo. Now, there's actually something interesting here about how to name a dog. This is. I think. Did you. Did I give you that part?

[D]

Yes, you did. Aaron Askland, the company's animal health and behavioral expert.

[A]

Aaron, Tips. That's a dumb name.

[D]

For new puppy parents. Stick to two syllables. Two syllables hit the sweet spot for canine communication. They stand out from everyday commands, yet still hold your dog's attention. Avoid rhymes with common cues. Names like or sound like sit, stay, or down can cause confusion during training.

[A]

Didn't Steve Martin and the Jerk. What? Something Head. Remember?

[E]

That's head.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Choose names with clear ending sounds, a crisp consonant or a bright vowel at the end of a name.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[E]

No, I was with you.

[A]

We just can't see, he's not. Look at him.

[E]

I. I stopped looking at him.

[A]

God.

[D]

Introduce.

[A]

Really hard to work with.

[D]

Introduce the puppy's name with positivity. Say the name once in a happy tone and immediately reward the puppy with a treat, toy, or pet praise.

[E]

Oh, to get it to know it's over.

[D]

Repetition and positive reinforcement will help pups learn their name quickly.

[B]

So you're not supposed to say the dog's name when they're doing something bad.

[E]

Okay, well, not when it first.

[D]

Not when you're first training them.

[E]

Otherwise, how do you know? How does it know if you're talking to it?

[B]

Yeah, because you address it. You go dog.

[E]

Pardon me, young man.

[B]

In my case, I would go dungy. Dungy. That was bad. But Dungey, you say sweetly so he knows, so you get his attention.

[E]

Oh, I see. I see what you're saying, but that's

[B]

the point they're trying to make.

[H]

When I was a kid, we had a dog named Dog.

[B]

Oh, oh, do I see D, O, G?

[H]

Yeah, Dog. We had a dog when I was little. Get dog. Was. Was her name.

[E]

Get Dog.

[A]

Yeah, John. Go Bogey.

[H]

Haha.

[B]

Great song. Now what else you got, Christy?

[D]

Doctors are warning against viral influencers recommending that people use coconut oil as a lube during intimate activity.

[A]

People should use coconuts for social interaction. Coconuts.

[D]

Or why, you ask? Because quote, it will wreck your vagina and weaken condoms. Fandoms. Tick tock influencers have been touting.

[B]

Have you ever used the phrase wrecked your vagina?

[E]

Yes. Oh, yeah.

[B]

After a really good night.

[E]

About to wreck that vagina.

[A]

You knocked the bottom out of there, didn't you?

[D]

Tick tock influencers have Been touting coconut oil as a long lasting natural lubricant. But OBGYN Dr. Kate McLean stressed that just because it's a natural thing doesn't mean it's safe. She told the New York Post, coconut oil can alter the vaginal environment and disrupt the protective bacteria that help maintain a healthy pH.

[E]

Gotcha.

[D]

Additionally, it can weaken latex condoms, making them less effective at preventing pregnancy and STI transmission.

[E]

Condoms are already only like 18 effective. Remember that, kids.

[D]

What? She recommends using lubricants that are of course, designed for that purpose. And for the vagina.

[E]

Or just spit on it.

[A]

The best contraceptive is her back. We all know it.

[H]

Okay,

[B]

so have you seen this on social media?

[H]

Yes. It's a big. Coconut oil is antimicrobial. So that's when Christy said, it'll mess up your ph. You don't want that.

[E]

Gotcha.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

I believe that area is a self cleaning oven.

[H]

It is a self cleaning oven.

[B]

Ladies, there's an addendum to the article. Dr. McLean,

[G]

that.

[E]

That's a valid joke.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Would you say pew? Dum.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. You pronounce it pew or po.

[F]

Just move on.

[B]

Dr. McLean says, God, I love it when they fight. She says the list of vaginal trends to stay away from. She says the list is exhaustive. Festive. Don't use garlic yogurt, apple cider vinegar, essential oils, hydrogen peroxide and DIY douches.

[E]

I would think hydrogen peroxide would dry it up like nobody's foam.

[B]

Disrupt the. Disrupt the vaginal cornstarch.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

How do you pronounce this? Microbiome.

[E]

That's exactly right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that the place where people lived?

[E]

No, that's the microbio dome.

[H]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, I see. Okay. You got people living down there. There's going to be scientists.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[F]

I have a question. This is not a joke. When women go swimming, doesn't that ruin the PH of a vagina?

[H]

It can, right? Some women are more sensitive, I think.

[A]

You think so?

[E]

Like chlorine and stuff.

[B]

Chlorine.

[A]

Right. And even the ocean rolls in there.

[D]

Yeah. I was going to say, if you

[B]

go off the high. If you go off the high, dive, don't spread eagle.

[A]

No.

[H]

Like, they don't recommend you staying in a wet swimsuit. Stuff like that. Yeah, Just spread eagle on the beach when you get out of the ocean.

[B]

Oh, I love that. So why do things like this proliferate on the Internet? Why would someone think this is a smart idea to use coconut oil?

[D]

Because people want attention. They'll tell you Anything on the go. You can find anything on the Internet.

[E]

Why would people believe it is?

[H]

Because it's a natural substance. And I think that everybody's like, oh, well, it's natural, but it's not.

[B]

So poison ivy, but, you know, rub it on your ass.

[A]

The one thing you always forget about the Internet is it can verify any harebrained scheme you have.

[E]

There's also this really terrible trend going on that we've talked about a little bit called rage baiting, where somebody makes a video and says, you know what makes a great lube Sloppy Joe mix? Go ahead. And they know that that's not true. They just want a thousand comments that argues it so that their algorithm and

[H]

then they make a thousand dollars off of one post.

[E]

So this person who even posted it

[B]

even believe this, but it's taken off.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

I just love the fact that this doctor, Dr. Kate McLean, used the phrase, ladies, it will wreck your vagina. Yeah, she's trying to make a point here. She makes it pretty solidly.

[E]

Can women. Can you tell if a guy doesn't tell you whether or not he's wearing a condom? Can you tell if he is? Do you feel it?

[H]

It's been so long. I don't think so.

[D]

So I don't know.

[H]

I don't know. I really don't know.

[B]

How about you Situation.

[A]

Can you tell when you're guys.

[H]

I feel like you could.

[A]

I don't know how. I don't know how you could.

[E]

Yes, I can tell.

[H]

Okay.

[E]

Yeah, I could wear a condom and slam it in a car door.

[A]

Isn't it the truth? Yeah, it's the same difference.

[B]

That happens all the time.

[A]

Dear Bob and top show, this is just for Christy.

[D]

Yes, sir.

[A]

Did you know, Christy, that the national alpaca show is in Fort Wayne, Indiana this weekend?

[D]

No, I did not.

[E]

I'll pack a bag so I can go.

[A]

And the rumor is, Twiggy the water seeding squirrel is going to be there as well.

[B]

Oh, now you really got it.

[H]

Where's the hawk show next?

[B]

Is it an indoor alpaca show?

[E]

Well, why do you ask?

[A]

Why would you ask that?

[B]

In March they run away.

[D]

If it was outdoors, I think it would be indoors. Why?

[H]

Was he talking about the smell?

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

I mean, I assume when alpacas get wet, I assume they smell like a wet sweater.

[D]

Actually, they do not.

[E]

Oh, they smell okay.

[D]

They. Because their fur doesn't hold the water, it doesn't hold much. That's why I have alpaca fur on my little bird thing. So that the birds can use it for their nest because it doesn't hold water.

[A]

Alpacas are 98% polyester.

[B]

There's a place you can go buy alpaca fur. Yeah?

[A]

Yeah.

[H]

I have alpaca yarn at my house right now. Make a sweater.

[A]

You can go out skin and alpaca yourself.

[B]

Do you feed them just in the morning or at night?

[D]

Feed what?

[B]

Your alpacas.

[D]

I don't have the alpacas.

[B]

Alpaca lunch for you.

[F]

How do they get your lunch? How do they have your driveway?

[H]

Oh, my God.

[D]

It's like talking to a child.

[E]

I very much enjoyed alpaca lunch.

[B]

That isn't that, though. Isn't your goal in life to have a little farm?

[D]

I can't have them now.

[B]

Why not?

[D]

Because we're never moving again. I've been told time and time again

[B]

you use the phrase we.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That still opens up the door for I am moving again.

[E]

When he passes, well, let's be honest. When he offs himself, oh, my God. Will you.

[H]

Jesus.

[A]

True enough. Any day. Did you ever see him sitting he. And he. If you ask him about it, he says, oh, I'm just thinking, like kind of a far away look in his eye.

[D]

I don't really see him.

[A]

He's in the basement. He's in the basement a lot.

[F]

He's building a brace.

[A]

You have open exposed beams in the basement or anything? No, no. That's good.

[E]

Yeah, that's good.

[B]

You see him cutting off a 12 foot length of hose.

[E]

You know, he came up the last. Last time I talked to him, he came with me and he goes, did you know a human being can overdose on potassium? It looks like a natural death. And the insurance company won't.

[A]

They don't test for it at the

[E]

time I said, oh, is that right?

[D]

True.

[B]

Hey, you know, Josh, you want to get a good purchase with your feet, no matter what you're doing. That's why you want to have orange insoles.

[E]

You're exactly favorite part of your show. You're exactly right. Do you stand longer than 10 minutes, minutes without making a noise when you sit down? The answer is no for me.

[A]

Oh, no for me, no.

[E]

Do you.

[D]

What do I what?

[B]

Do you read ahead to know what's coming up?

[F]

Do some show prep.

[E]

Do you ever start to ask a question and realize the next line is a statement and it throws you.

[B]

Okay, I'll tell you what. Give me any number between 1 and 10. I will play a sound effect. You tie it into oranges.

[A]

Oh, There you go.

[E]

7.

[A]

Here's some pictures of you on vacation. Yes.

[E]

And as you can see, I'm bent over with my back kind of hurting. I've been standing in line at Disneyland and my gosh, if I had orange insoles in my shoes, I'd be smiling and standing upright.

[D]

Yes, you would.

[B]

Once again, number between one and 10. You have to do orange insoles. Talk about this sound effect. Go ahead.

[E]

Four, please.

[H]

Four.

[B]

Oh, this is interesting.

[E]

You know that bride would be smiling a little more if she had orange insoles in her shoes there. But her knees hurt.

[A]

Why do her knees hurt? She's got.

[D]

She's been on it.

[E]

Her alignment is off.

[B]

Okay, okay.

[E]

Hey, I was. I didn't take it down.

[B]

This is going really well. Okay, give me another number you'll get blamed for.

[E]

I'm going one.

[B]

Okay, here we go. This is from one here.

[E]

Who's that at the door? I say as I.

[A]

It's opportunity knocking.

[E]

My gosh. If that is an opportunity with a. A chance for me to feel better in my daily life, you understand? I. I am a construction worker from 8 to noon. And then I go and I teach at a college from 1:1 to 5. And then at night I jog and. Hurts. It hurts my, my knees and my back. It's because I don't have orange insoles.

[B]

Okay, one more. Give me one more. Last number.

[E]

Difficult to get any sort of momentum with nine. And what hurts today on you. Your. Your feet

[A]

Normally it's anus.

[B]

I believe the origins Souls people can help almost anything, generally speaking.

[E]

Not that that's exactly right. Visit Orange and souls.com order more and save with Orange and Souls bundles packs. And be sure to use promo code Bob and Tom at checkout to receive $5 off your total order. Plus there's free shipping in the USA. Orangeinsouls.com promo code Bob and Tom. They're really going to give you the support and rigidity that you deserve and need.

[B]

I gotta. Don't. Don't buy all the size twelves. I gotta get another set of them now. Coming up in the news, Kristi Lee, what's happening over there?

[D]

I have no idea.

[B]

Well, we got. We got a bunch.

[D]

I have an orgasm in the news. How about that? Everybody wants one of those.

[B]

Okay. And we also have coming up the possibility of cramming in today in history.

[D]

Oh, well, we're gonna have time for all that. We'll see.

[B]

We'll see. We're gonna try it when we return to the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[I]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Part studio. There's Christy Lee.

[H]

Hi.

[A]

There's Pat Godwin.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

There's Jess Hooker.

[D]

Hi.

[A]

Hello. Josh Arnold.

[E]

Hi there.

[A]

There's Ace Cosby. Hi, I'm Chick McGee at the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. Hello, Tom.

[B]

Hello, Chick McGee. I thought we to check in with a little bit of history on this date. It's always fun to look back, check out some happy birthdays.

[A]

If we don't look back, how can we.

[B]

Oh, here's a. I've got an obscure thing I can mention about this guy. All right, but first we'll start at the beginning. Birthdays. Born in 1911.

[D]

That's a long time ago.

[B]

No longer with us. Do you know who this is? Jess Hooker. The name. Professional name. L. Ron Hubbard. What do you mean?

[H]

Professional psychology guy.

[D]

Yeah, very good.

[A]

Yeah, I think that was. That was his name.

[B]

I mean, Dianetics was his first name. Literally the letter L. Oh, I thought

[H]

it was E. L. No, it is

[A]

L. I think in the. In the church they call him lrh and they put a hand over their

[E]

heart or something like that, wrote some decent sci fi stuff.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

And then Dianetics. Are you familiar with Dianetics?

[H]

I'm not.

[E]

I'd like you to come over to my house today around 1pm and just bring. Bring a CH for 75. I've got a lot to tell you about that.

[A]

And when he said 75, you meant 7, 500.

[E]

Well, that's.

[D]

Yeah, we'll get there.

[B]

Yeah, of course. Yeah.

[D]

He.

[A]

E meters aren't cheap.

[B]

Started the study of science. Scientology or the science. The. I was kind of wondering. There are like. You'll hear about someone who. They'll say they were like a lapsed Catholic.

[D]

Yes.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

Is there like a lapse. Lapsed Scientologists.

[F]

The woman from King. King of Queens.

[D]

Right.

[A]

Yeah, that's her.

[B]

She only prays to the aliens on like Space Easter. I. Oh, okay.

[E]

She's not a. What do they call that? The, the Easter Christmas Catholics.

[D]

There's laps. He's right.

[E]

Oh, I thought laps was out completely.

[D]

Well, no, it means like you do it when you want.

[E]

Gotcha.

[D]

Pick and choose is what.

[B]

This one's confusing. William H. Macy. This is the Macy. Born in 1950, right?

[E]

Not Bill Macy.

[B]

The Bill Macy. Great actor. I Love, Bill Macy.

[A]

You're the only one talking about Bill Macy.

[B]

Bill Macy was the husband of Arthur.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Bea Arthur in the show Maude.

[H]

Okay.

[D]

William H. Macy, an actor too.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

That's why train dreams, right?

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

William H. Macy's in Boogie Nights. He's the guy whose wife is getting banned.

[D]

He's been in a lot of.

[B]

He's a great actor, but Bill. And it's his birthday. But Bill Macy, also a terrific actor.

[D]

So why are we talking about Bill Macy?

[A]

Because I'm.

[B]

There's an obscure movie out there called the Late show if you ever get

[A]

a chance to watch.

[E]

Carney.

[B]

Yes.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Art Carney and Elliot Gould in that.

[A]

No, it's.

[D]

I like that.

[B]

Yeah. But there's a great scene with a guy named Eugene Roach and he's playing a fence and it's one of the funniest scenes I've ever seen in a movie. Okay, highly recommended. But that's not the Bill Macy who. We should be celebrating today.

[E]

Oh, well, no, but you brought him up.

[D]

You brought it up.

[B]

Yes. I blame my. I blame myself. Happy birthday to Common.

[A]

Yeah, I love him.

[B]

That's a rapper. Very unusual name, an actor.

[F]

It's not a common name.

[B]

Yeah, not all that common. Oh, sorry. What a dumb name. This is TJ Hooker. Debuted on television, 1982.

[D]

Weren't we just talking about TJ Hooker this week?

[A]

Yeah. The fabulous Adrian Z.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Now it's been sold to pbs. They've renewed, named it TJ Sex Worker.

[A]

I don't.

[F]

I don't know what to say.

[B]

For me to get Christy Lee, what happened on 2013 to Jorge Bergoglio?

[D]

Jorge Berboglio?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I don't know.

[B]

You're gonna go to hell.

[A]

That's the.

[B]

That was when he became Pope Francis. Oh, by the way, why do popes have to take stage names?

[D]

They get to pick it at least.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Have you ever heard Pope Jorge Haywood?

[B]

And if you were to run into the current pope, do you call him by the selected name or Leo. If you knew. If you knew him from way back when. Do you call. If you play?

[D]

You would. I would think you would use his

[E]

Poke your eminence or something. Yeah.

[B]

What about his mom?

[A]

Sure.

[H]

His mom gets a pass.

[B]

Okay. She can call.

[E]

I'm sure his mom is not a kid for 25 years.

[B]

Well, pray harder. We will see you soon. Once again from the Aurelio Auto Part Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[I]

Got a comment to share? Text us at 888-262-8661. This is the Bob and Tom Show, Westwood One Sports Talk. Start your day with Drake Seats old.

[B]

The same guy who had the correct

[I]

top three teams in the preseason.

[B]

Oh, it's me. Is going to give you the correct prediction for the big championship game for free.

[I]

Ben Black and Abdallah.

[H]

What an incredible shot.

[A]

We've got college hoops, spring spring training

[I]

and everything happening in the NFL.

[B]

And Westwood One Sports Night.

[A]

Not even close to being tired right now.

[E]

On Westwood One Sports Night, Westwood One Sports Talk. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.