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Tom Griswold
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart Choice. Progressive loves to help people make smart choices. That's why they offer a tool called Auto Quote Explorer that allows you to compare your Progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies. So you save time on the research and can enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you. Give it a try after this episode@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy. This is a mini meditation guided by Bombus. Repeat after me. I'm comfy, I'm cozy. I have zero blisters on my toes. And that's because I wear Bombus the softest socks, underwear and T shirts that give back. One purchased equals one donated. Now go to bombus.com listen and use code listen for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M b-s.com listen and use code Listen at checkout.
Bob Kevoian
It's the Bob and Tom Show. Dick Vital, you've heard him call games in his own unique style. Now Bob and Tom Products is proud to present the Dick Vital Alarm Clock. Shake and Bake. It's time to wait. I don't mean maybe it's time to get up, baby, Chuck and jive. It's almost five. Hey, come on now, get to sleep out of your eyes. Come on now, wake up. You're a Rolls Roycer. The Dick Vital Alarm clock offers a single, double or triple al overtime snooze setting. Hear Dicky V gently remind you it's time to start the new day. The last five minutes you show what you're made of, baby. Hey, come on now, get out of bed. Come on now. You're the 3s, man. You're super scintillating, sensational and if you're a heavy sleeper, don't worry the Dick Vital Alarm Clock lets you sleep with one eye open his. Hey, baby. The Dick Vitale Alarm Clock. The Vitalion Stallion Sounds revelry with such classics as hey, come on, sleepyhead. You're a BTP. Er herky jerky. It's time for worky 2, 4, 6, 8. Get up now or you're going to be late. Rise and shine. It's close to nine. This ain't no jack roll out of the sock. Hey, come on now, sleepyhead, wake up. You're a space eater, baby. Hey, come on now, get out of bed I'll come warm up the bus, baby, this baby's over. Come on now, get out of bed. Oh, and it's unbreakable. Hey, Come on, get up.
Christy Lee
Get up.
Bob Kevoian
Come on now. The Dick Vital alarm clock. Wake up. You're awesome, baby. Hey. Good morning, and welcome to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. We got the chairs, we got the microphones. Let's do a show, kids. Are we ready? Okay, I'm ready.
Chick McGee
I'm ready. I can't wake up.
Tom Griswold
Daniel. What's wrong?
Bob Kevoian
This has been going on for a week.
Tom Griswold
Dog poop again?
Chick McGee
No, no, no, no, no, no. That's.
Bob Kevoian
That's Pat with a dog. Oh, yeah. Silac Insurance news desk. There's Pat Godwin. There's an odor. There's Josh Arnold.
Josh Arnold
Hello.
Bob Kevoian
Ace Cosby's here. Hey, I'm Chick McGee at the orangeinsols.com sports desk. Hello. Tomorrow.
Chick McGee
Okay, let's see. Quick survey. Oh, those wearing green. We start with Ace. The answer is no.
Bob Kevoian
He's got his hat. He's counting his hat. Yeah. Not a speck of green.
Chick McGee
The hat is black and white. Although it is a Notre Dame hat. I. That's.
Tom Griswold
That's kind of close.
Chick McGee
I'd like a judgment call on that, you know? Oh, the judges are still sleeping.
Bob Kevoian
I disagree, but who's got the time? Okay, okay, okay.
Chick McGee
Green, my swoosh.
Tom Griswold
Oh, nice.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Bob Kevoian
Oh, my God. I pulled something.
Chick McGee
Kicked his leg up. And apparently we have. We do have. We do have groins in the news today, by the way, in a big way. Let's see. Patty G. The one Irish man, Irish heritage.
Pat Godwin
Never have, never will wear the green.
Bob Kevoian
Conscientious objector.
Pat Godwin
Even when I was a kid.
Josh Arnold
Didn't do it.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Tom Griswold
No, I didn't.
Chick McGee
Christy. Nothing.
Tom Griswold
No.
Bob Kevoian
Well, you told us not to forget.
Tom Griswold
I know. I forgot.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Bob Kevoian
What is this, an O. Henry novel?
Chick McGee
Josh, nice green shirt.
Tom Griswold
Yes, very nice.
Josh Arnold
Oh, thank you, guys.
Tom Griswold
Very nice. Kelly plaid. Isn't that what they call that? I think.
Chick McGee
Oh, I think I searched my closet, found a green shirt.
Tom Griswold
Is that green?
Bob Kevoian
Yeah, yeah, I'm on. I'm on the kind of.
Tom Griswold
You have a navy blue jacket on over it. Okay.
Chick McGee
Okay. There we go. So don't forget about yourself. Yeah, I never remember, but I.
Bob Kevoian
You know, I'm never more proud of myself when it's raining. And I know where my. My windbreaker is. The raincoat. I'm never more. It's like I. I don't know why, but I. I connect that to being an adult.
Chick McGee
I see.
Bob Kevoian
I know where my raincoat is.
Josh Arnold
And we always have our O'Reilly's yeah.
Tom Griswold
O'Reilly's is green, of course, and very.
Chick McGee
And with a shamrock.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
All right, very good. Thank you, Wace. This is a, this is a. This is your warning.
Bob Kevoian
Tom didn't say please don't hurt me ace. But it was, it was implied.
Tom Griswold
Did you go to a St. Patrick's Day part parade or party over the weekend?
Chick McGee
No. Isn't today St. Patrick's yeah, but the parade was Friday.
Tom Griswold
Chicago was Saturday.
Bob Kevoian
The thing green in Chicago.
Chick McGee
I.
Tom Griswold
Well, my kids were there. They had a ball. It was beautiful. Like 65 in Chicago. Saturday. Yeah.
Chick McGee
So the parade's already over?
Tom Griswold
No, in New York City, the big one is today. Okay, But Boston, Philly and Savannah, Georgia. Did you know they have one of the largest giant one there? That's today.
Bob Kevoian
That's a good city. All right. I like it.
Chick McGee
Very good, very good. Now we will be catching up with you and we have plenty of letters to get to. And Pat, I assume you have some St. Patrick's Day related songs.
Pat Godwin
At least four or five songs for your tabby.
Bob Kevoian
I would have given anything if he sort. What today?
Tom Griswold
Today?
Bob Kevoian
You want them today?
Pat Godwin
I didn't actually know when I walked in. I was confused.
Chick McGee
I got some Irish setting. Excuse me. Famous Irish sayings here.
Josh Arnold
Oh yeah.
Bob Kevoian
May you be in heaven an hour after the devil knows you're dead or something like that.
Pat Godwin
When my dad taught me up yours and down mine, he was a pleasant lad.
Tom Griswold
Sounds like it.
Chick McGee
Here's what's. May you be at the gates of heaven an hour before the nervous. Oh no. So I'm sorry. May you be at the gates of heaven an hour before the devil knows you're dead. And may there be a two hour line.
Bob Kevoian
Oh, nice.
Chick McGee
Wow. Let's see. Oh, here's a good one. You'll never plow a field by turning it over in your mind. You ever heard that one Irish thing? Yeah, Irish?
Bob Kevoian
I haven't, but that makes sense. Sure sounds like sound. Sounds like somebody's lazy.
Tom Griswold
Get off your butt.
Chick McGee
Oh, wait a minute, I didn't read that. You'll never plow a field by turning it over in your mind. But if you turn the barmaid over, you might be able to plow her in the can.
Pat Godwin
Is that actually on the.
Tom Griswold
That's not on there.
Chick McGee
Oh, that's.
Bob Kevoian
Boy, that's not an Irish saying. It should be okay.
Josh Arnold
No kidding.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Wow. That is.
Tom Griswold
Hey, I just realized I have green because my wedding ring's green. It's got emeralds in it. Right. Does that count?
Chick McGee
No, you can't Pitch me real emeralds would.
Pat Godwin
But those aren't real.
Tom Griswold
No, they're not. They're fake.
Bob Kevoian
No, those are emerald.
Tom Griswold
Andy couldn't afford.
Bob Kevoian
No, they're Emeraldites. Yes.
Chick McGee
Yes. Wait a minute. Okay, this one's weird.
Tom Griswold
What?
Chick McGee
I've never. I. Is this a joke? Men are like bagpipes. No sound comes from them until they are full.
Bob Kevoian
I thought. I thought. A blowing metaphor.
Tom Griswold
I thought.
Pat Godwin
Not happy until they're blown.
Bob Kevoian
I thought.
Chick McGee
Yeah, I. I don't know. I'm not familiar with this one.
Pat Godwin
Neither are we.
Chick McGee
Is that supposed to mean you're supposed to feed them?
Tom Griswold
Of course.
Bob Kevoian
Okay. Man's hearts in his stomach.
Tom Griswold
What is through his stomach?
Bob Kevoian
Yeah.
Chick McGee
The older the fiddle, the sweeter the tune. Once the Viagra, Caxian, Lassie. Oh, here's a. This is a classic. I didn't know this was Irish. Lie down with dogs and you'll rise with fleas.
Bob Kevoian
Or. I've heard that.
Chick McGee
That's better than the crabs you got from your girlfriend. Yeah, these are all classic.
Pat Godwin
You're adding to these.
Chick McGee
Oh, jokes.
Bob Kevoian
Embellish away, my friend.
Pat Godwin
Little gags.
Bob Kevoian
Okay, making a gig.
Chick McGee
Now.
Bob Kevoian
We.
Chick McGee
We do have. Oh, I guess we have news stories coming up about. About St. Patty's Day, amongst many other things.
Bob Kevoian
Watch this. I'm going to instantly irritate Tom. Ready. How's your bracket, Tom? You got your bracket all set up. It's ready to go. Men's, women's, nit. Ready to go, buddy. Whoo.
Chick McGee
Nit.
Bob Kevoian
Interestingly, a national invitational tournament.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Yeah. I was kind of surprised.
Bob Kevoian
Tomorrow.
Chick McGee
I. You turned it down?
Bob Kevoian
Yep.
Chick McGee
Even though the finals are famous. Hinkle Field.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah. Well, I don't know if that. That's Butler's home court, though.
Chick McGee
Well, I mean, it's close. I just was so quite surprised. We do have a little bracket thing going for you, though. It's the Bob and Tom Basketball Mayhem bracket competition.
Josh Arnold
The NCAA is so stupid and not letting everybody just use March Madness. Yeah, they're idiots.
Chick McGee
Wasn't March Madness actually coined by. In a high school in Illinois or something?
Josh Arnold
Whoever owns it now. It's just so silly. We all know what we're talking about.
Bob Kevoian
The big game in the National Football League.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Chick McGee
Okay, we have at stake a large screen TV from Orange insoles and some serious business. So head over to our website and we'll give you some more information about that. Some more information about that coming up. But it is time to get the bracket together. And any day now we'll be getting that news story. We get every year about how much time is lost in the workplace by people actually enjoying a game or two.
Bob Kevoian
Winkler, Strassman, Lord and Deluge.
Chick McGee
It's. Yeah. What is it? Christmas gray.
Bob Kevoian
And I think it's billions of dollars actually is the upshot of the story.
Chick McGee
I never in production.
Bob Kevoian
I don't know what they're counting but.
Chick McGee
Not like they shut down the assembly line. It's people getting together, spending a few minutes, getting some in office camaraderie.
Bob Kevoian
They sure are proud of those widgets.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Yeah. I don't care. Well, the Defense Department says we're not going to have any more missiles to shoot because they. Or watching a basketball game for 20 minutes. There goes the economy.
Josh Arnold
All because of that pre April nuttiness.
Chick McGee
Yes. Even the. Even the Defense Department can't say even. You know, the President of the United States gets up there. He leans over. Can I say March man?
Bob Kevoian
No.
Chick McGee
They'll sue you.
Bob Kevoian
That bucket.
Chick McGee
Tell him to get in line.
Pat Godwin
Looney after February thing.
Bob Kevoian
That bucket and ball frenzy.
Chick McGee
Well, no. We also have your letters coming up. You can reach us Bob andtom@bobandtom.com.
Bob Kevoian
I got it right here.
Chick McGee
I got a bunch of really good ones.
Bob Kevoian
But first, a recent report from something called the Action Network.
Josh Arnold
Oh.
Bob Kevoian
Oh, they are ready.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, they are.
Bob Kevoian
Action.
Chick McGee
What kind of action is it?
Bob Kevoian
A top sports betting and media brand that boasts nearly 400,000 cumulative social media followers surveyed. Surveyed 3,000 college basketball fans who work full time between February 20th and March 20th or February 26th. The study found that March Madness could cause the US economy. Follow me on this sentence. March Madness could cause the US economy to lose approximately $20 billion in lost productivity.
Chick McGee
I'm sorry I called BS on that.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Completely insane.
Bob Kevoian
I don't know.
Chick McGee
$20 billion.
Bob Kevoian
I had. I was talking with somebody and they were. You have no idea how much money $1 billion is.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
It's staggering. It's not what you think it is. It's far more than what you think it is.
Chick McGee
It's a thousand million.
Bob Kevoian
It's a. It's you. But if you see it tangibly. It's nuts. I don't think I can live long. Long enough to spend a billion dollars. Even the way I.
Chick McGee
Wait a minute.
Bob Kevoian
I watched. Watch the bottom line.
Tom Griswold
I don't know.
Chick McGee
It'll be ridiculous. I know you.
Bob Kevoian
That's true.
Chick McGee
You'd have.
Bob Kevoian
I. I'd put it down.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
Tell you that.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Bob Kevoian
Look what I bought again and didn't. Oh, I ordered something just last week.
Tom Griswold
What'd you order?
Bob Kevoian
I can't tell you, but ordered it. Alrighty. Can't wait for that to come in. Went to the closet. Hanging in the closet. Yep. But now you know. Now you know what?
Chick McGee
Now you have two.
Bob Kevoian
I have two, yeah.
Chick McGee
Very good. Very good. All this is coming up, including your letters. We'll look forward to hearing from you. Right now. The Bob and Tom show is brought to you by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is a new way to access therapy, although it's not that new. There are already 30,000 credentialed therapists working the program and 5 million people worldwide participating. And it's about accessing therapy, like I said. And therapy can be really effective in helping you in all kinds of ways in your life, with our relationships, with things you've been worried about and having a productive year. So if you're thinking about therapy, think about this. Betterhelp.com BTShow is where you get all the information, and the BTShowpart will knock 10% off your first month. It's about building the support system, and you do it through therapy. And you hook up with a therapist online. The way it works is you fill out a questionnaire online, then you'll be hooked up with one of the aforementioned 30,000 credentialed therapists. And by the way, they have a wide range of specialties, and that's why you fill out that form. So they'll be able to figure out who might be the best therapist for you. And by the way, you can change therapist anytime for no additional fees. So the therapy itself then is done online, therefore a lot more convenient. You can do it at your office, you can do it in your car. You can do it on the job site. You can do it with your phone, of course, or with a laptop or a desktop, whatever you want to do. But it's done online, so it's a lot easier. There's no driving across town and sitting in an office. It's also, if you've been kind of concerned about that aspect of it, of going to an unfamiliar building and sitting down in the same room as somebody, this removes that aspect of therapy by making it done, because it is, I should say, done online. So see what I'm talking about? Check out BetterHelp. That's H E L P betterhelp.com BTShow Build your support system with BetterHelp. Coming up, we have lots of interesting things today, including, of course, as I mentioned, a lot of stuff involving college basketball. And we have a couple great stories in the world of college football. Coming up, a bizarre story involving the actor Jesse Eisenberg and James Bond.
Tom Griswold
I love Jesse Eisenberg.
Chick McGee
Is there a gorilla on the loose? We're gonna find out.
Bob Kevoian
Gorilla, my dream.
Chick McGee
And we have lap dancing in the news. Oh, and of course, Saint. Saint Patty's Day. All coming up. Pat, you got. When we come back, you got a little Irish song for us? Absolutely. Okay. Very good. Very good. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios, and this is the Bob and Tom Show.
Christy Lee
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.
Chick McGee
Fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians.
Bob Kevoian
These are things people say about drivers.
Josh Arnold
Who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds.
Chick McGee
Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home and more. Plus, you can count on their great.
Josh Arnold
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Christy Lee
So your dollar goes a long way.
Chick McGee
Visit progressive.com to see if you could.
Josh Arnold
Save on car insurance, Progressive Casualty Insurance company and affiliates.
Christy Lee
Potential savings will vary.
Josh Arnold
Not available in all states or situations.
Bob Kevoian
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. At the SILAC insurance news desk, it's Christy Lee.
Josh Arnold
Hi, Pat Godwin.
Bob Kevoian
Hello, Josh Arnold. Good morning. Morning. Reno Collier will be our guest later. With a country fried to take, there's Ace Cosby. Hey, I didn't know you were Irish, Ace. I didn't know you went to Notre Dame.
Chick McGee
Top of the morning was convincing.
Bob Kevoian
That was absolutely fabulous. And a top of the morning to you. I'm Chick McGee and we're the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. Hello, Tom.
Chick McGee
Okay, we've been getting a lot of letters.
Bob Kevoian
All right?
Chick McGee
We got a lot of letters. Now if you want to reach us, we'd love to hear any topic. It's. It's open topic. Bob and Tom at bob and tom.com. we do have a. Our Irish man in the building is Godwin, of course.
Bob Kevoian
Oh, yeah.
Chick McGee
And Mr. Godwin, you've prepared some songs of Ireland?
Pat Godwin
Oh, I got four or five coming your way.
Chick McGee
Okay, well, while you get your guitar, I'm gonna read this first letter. Good.
Bob Kevoian
Oh, is it letter time? Hot dog.
Chick McGee
I'm working on getting some of our own music.
Tom Griswold
Why? You don't like this?
Chick McGee
No, I. It's very technical.
Bob Kevoian
I love this music, Tom. It makes me very happy.
Tom Griswold
As it should.
Chick McGee
Thank you very much. This is from Colin in Cincinnati, Ohio. Longtime listener, etc. You guys are talking about driver's ed the other day, and I was asking if you were. If your gym teacher was the driver's ed teacher, et cetera, et cetera. I don't know if they still do that.
Tom Griswold
Some schools probably, but a lot of them go to. You have to go to a private company.
Chick McGee
Yeah. I'm just wondering if it's an insurance. And by the way, my hat's off to anybody teaching drivers ed.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
I learned early on I'm not going to teach my kids to drive.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah. I think it's much easier if you are separated from the.
Tom Griswold
But also a professional doing not do it.
Chick McGee
But also, it's a tough gig and it's very important. Now we get to our letter once again. This is from Colin. He says, we were in the afternoon. There were several of us in the car. Our instructor would make us drive into the setting sun and would not let us use the visor or sunglasses. He said, you have to learn to drive under all conditions, good or bad.
Tom Griswold
That's right.
Josh Arnold
I like him.
Chick McGee
I swear. I swear. I'm still a little blind to this day because I was staring into the sun. That does seem a little bit ridiculous.
Josh Arnold
What do you mean?
Chick McGee
You should be able to put. Pop that visor down and you'll learn to.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, exactly. The car has the visor.
Chick McGee
It's there for a reason. Anytime you're driving directly west, depending on what time of day it is, it can be. It can be problematic. Well, hats off to all those folks out there teaching driver's ed. We also learned that. What was it, less than 2% of the vehicles sold in the United States now are stick shift and manual transmission.
Bob Kevoian
Only 18% of people.
Chick McGee
Estimates are between 7 and 18% of people can drive a stick. I think probably closer to seven.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Ace, can you drive a stick shift?
Josh Arnold
I have never learned.
Chick McGee
There we go. It's more work, Mr. Godwin. Yes, you can.
Pat Godwin
My first car was a VW Bug. Oh, the stick shift.
Josh Arnold
I liked it.
Chick McGee
I'm very surprised.
Bob Kevoian
No kidding, Josh.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. Huh.
Chick McGee
Okay. Very old, guys.
Bob Kevoian
I can. I can drive a stick.
Chick McGee
Very good.
Tom Griswold
We skew the national average.
Chick McGee
Let me.
Josh Arnold
Sure do.
Chick McGee
Let me ask electric boy in there. Jason, can you drive a stick shift? Really? Okay. Do they. Do they make electric car with a stick shift?
Pat Godwin
Make a.
Bob Kevoian
Think about it. Tom.
Chick McGee
You learned. Okay. But he's our EV guy. Do they make an electric car with a stick shift? They should. It's much more fun. Just can just. We're skewing the thing terribly.
Bob Kevoian
Hey, Oscar, can you drive a stick?
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah.
Ace Cosby
I bet he can.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Okay. I've been. Maybe we're wrong. I don't know.
Bob Kevoian
Top of the morning. Bob and Tom, Are you Wearing a Kiss Me, I'm Irish button. Anybody?
Josh Arnold
Now? Nobody.
Bob Kevoian
Is this letter writer. Dave is hoping Christy is wearing a Kiss Me, I'm Irish button so Pat can give her a smooch.
Chick McGee
Oh. Oh.
Tom Griswold
I'm not Irish.
Pat Godwin
Do you want to kiss?
Tom Griswold
I think I might be a little bit.
Bob Kevoian
Dave is hot for you guys.
Chick McGee
No, no. Here's the old joke. Yes, Christy, if she's Irish.
Pat Godwin
Yeah. Are you Irish?
Chick McGee
Do you have any Irish in you?
Pat Godwin
There you go. Do you have any Irish in you?
Tom Griswold
I don't think so.
Pat Godwin
Would you like some?
Chick McGee
There you go. It's an Intercourse joke. Yes. Where he takes his thing and puts it in.
Bob Kevoian
He wants to do you. Dave continues. My Dayton Flyers did not make the NCAA Tournament, but they are playing in the NIT tournament instead. So I'd like to see if Tom can help me filling out my bracket in the National Invitational Tournament.
Chick McGee
Oh, I hate to nitpick. It's the annual.
Bob Kevoian
Ladies and gentlemen, 42 years of that joke. That joke. Celebrating his 42nd year in entertainment. That's Dave in Dayton, Ohio.
Chick McGee
The NIT. That used to be the big tournament.
Bob Kevoian
That used to be the big.
Chick McGee
That was the one.
Bob Kevoian
The big. Damn.
Tom Griswold
Are you serious?
Chick McGee
Yeah, that was the big one.
Bob Kevoian
Very much an east coast thing. Dave gave us his cell number. That wasn't wise, was it?
Tom Griswold
No columns.
Pat Godwin
Can't we call them on the air?
Chick McGee
Maybe you should make your picks against Dave.
Tom Griswold
Are you gonna make picks?
Bob Kevoian
Not if I am. It's the first time hearing about it, but that's never stopped me before.
Chick McGee
So that's our second letter from Ohio. Which reminds me, we're making a couple of stops in the buckeye state. Thursday, March 27, will be at Smoke Justice. Actually, Greater Cincinnati. Technically, we're going to be in Covington, Kentucky, which will be great. The home of a lot of great restaurants and a bunch of great people. Hope to see you there. Bourbon brought to you by Field of Dreams Whiskey. And this is what's. I'm so excited about this because I don't have the information in front of me, but the essence of it is we're getting these T shirts printed up. In fact, they went to press yesterday. And the T shirts that we're going to be selling in Cincinnati, I'm buying them. And then if you buy them, all the money that you spend on them goes directly to a really cool program called Brave Gowns, which they make, like, superhero costumes for the kids at the Cincinnati Hospital. Children. Cincinnati Children's Hospital.
Tom Griswold
They do an amazing job at the Cincinnati Children's hospital.
Chick McGee
It's world famous. But this is such a great little.
Tom Griswold
Program, fun for the little kids.
Chick McGee
Oh, it's so cool. Anyways, if you can buy one one of them, great. And then by the way, we'll set it up so even if you don't want to buy a shirt, you can make a donation. What a great program though. If you're like me, you've had a little kid in a hospital for a long time and it's just one of those things. Just it does more than you can imagine. Cheer kid up. So it's a great thing, great program. We're going to be trying to help it out a little bit. Little drop in the bucket. Now we're also going to be In Toledo, Friday, March 28, celebrating the world famous Toledo mud Hens, one of the most famous minor league ball clubs ever. We'll be at the glass city center in downtown Toledo. You can come by and see the show. Both these shows are brought to you by our friends at Field of Dreams. Whiskey glass. The field of Dreams, Glass city. There you go. Now we get back to the letters. You got another one over there.
Bob Kevoian
Dear Bob and Tom, I'm in Munster, Germany, not named after the cheese, Josh.
Chick McGee
Named after the TV show, after the.
Bob Kevoian
The family M U E N S.
Josh Arnold
T E R Munster, off of old mockingbird Lane there.
Bob Kevoian
Oh yeah. While in the hotel lobby this morning I hear music in the background. Evidently the Germans like the same music as chick. That's right. Stumbling in is a banger, he says. Yeah, even in Germany. Looking forward to being back home to listen you guys soon. All right. Brian in Detroit, Michigan. Dear Tom, yes, I usually thank Josh for introducing great music to the show and my and myself, but this one is a giant. Thanks to Tom for introducing me to the black moods. Oh yeah, they're happening. They have a new song out called I want your love.
Tom Griswold
Yep.
Bob Kevoian
I think that's the way he sings it. I want your love.
Chick McGee
Yes.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, he sings like Eugene Levy.
Bob Kevoian
I want your love.
Chick McGee
If I don't get it, I will tighten the screws. Sounds a little bit, a little bit the way you said. It's a little bit non consensual.
Bob Kevoian
I want your love is awesome. When are they going to be the house band again? He needs a date right now. Thanks for the last to find out.
Chick McGee
Now that's from Slow Joe. I want to let you know that if you're just joining us here in the Bob and Tom show, we are coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. I really Enjoy the Chuck Norris jokes. So at this time. Listen to that in the near future.
Bob Kevoian
The crowd goes wild.
Chick McGee
I hope you all will send me a new one every day. This is another. This is a brand new one. I love it. This comes to us from Cody. He's kind enough to write. Chuck Norris can pop a wheelie on a unicycle. Get it?
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Pat Godwin
Oh, yeah, we got it.
Chick McGee
Kind of a high concept. You see, there's only the one wheel, so therefore it would be off the ground.
Bob Kevoian
All right. I could have. What could be the letter.
Chick McGee
That was quite clever of the year. Thank you, Cody.
Bob Kevoian
I enjoyed it here on St. Patrick's Day. Hello, folks. This is from Jay. Tom might be interested in this being a dog owner. You know how hair builds up under the bed in the corners when. When the carpet's involved? Dog hair. I take a leaf blower and blow the hair out from under the bed and in the corners and then vacuum everything up. I also like to clean my toilet seat. I take the toilet seat off and put it in the dishwasher every couple of weeks.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Bob Kevoian
To really get a complete cleaning.
Chick McGee
Okay. That is.
Bob Kevoian
Thanks, Jay.
Chick McGee
I save that letter. I want you to read that every. Every quarter. Man, that is hilarious.
Josh Arnold
You should see how hard I scrub the cat food bowls before I put them in the dishwasher. Oh, yeah, because I don't want any particle of cat food mixing with my.
Bob Kevoian
Cat scratch fever dishes. Christy had cat scratch.
Josh Arnold
I can't imagine doing that with my. Like, I would just be so worried.
Tom Griswold
You'd have to do it on its own, Right?
Josh Arnold
Yes, but still, I wouldn't trust the.
Chick McGee
Dishwasher gets it hot enough.
Josh Arnold
I know. I. I'm sure.
Bob Kevoian
Lord, he's gonna do. You're gonna do it. No.
Chick McGee
I am. No. That's. No.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Can you imagine?
Chick McGee
Dishwashers, filters, and I. I must have this lettered.
Bob Kevoian
You.
Chick McGee
You. You're aware that I have a friend that among other. The most famous thing he did. He's so germ phobic. He. They were painting his house, and after he found out that the painters were using his bathroom.
Tom Griswold
Of course they were. He.
Chick McGee
Of course. No, of course. They. He replaced all of the toilet paper rolls.
Bob Kevoian
All of the toilet paper.
Chick McGee
All of them.
Bob Kevoian
Not the seats.
Chick McGee
No. But this is the. This is the same guy that gave me the idea when you go to a hotel, you go down to the pool and you take a bunch of.
Josh Arnold
Towels like a true.
Chick McGee
A hole, and then you. He's really a great guy.
Josh Arnold
Well, maybe, but stealing all the towels from the pool.
Chick McGee
He's not stealing them. And then he lays them out in his room so he has a trail from the bathroom to the bed.
Josh Arnold
That's not a.
Chick McGee
That's so he doesn't have to touch the floor.
Pat Godwin
Musician friend we know.
Bob Kevoian
Yes. Yes.
Josh Arnold
That's no way to live.
Tom Griswold
How often is he ill?
Chick McGee
But I've got to tell him this toilet seat thing, this is the greatest. I've got to tell or I'll tell his wife. This is so to take the toilet seat off.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah, I knew you'd like.
Chick McGee
Doesn't that. Aren't this. Aren't the screw holes gonna get worn?
Josh Arnold
They're pretty easy. No, they're gonna snap and turn.
Bob Kevoian
First of all, they're that nylon, that plastic nylon.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Are they easy to replace?
Josh Arnold
Super. Yeah, they've gotten really easy to.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah, some of them. You can get them to snap in.
Chick McGee
I actually. I had a toilet Aaron this weekend.
Bob Kevoian
Oh really?
Chick McGee
Yeah. I've been living in my house for I don't know what, two years now?
Bob Kevoian
Seems like six weeks.
Chick McGee
When I moved, I don't know where my plunger is.
Bob Kevoian
Oh yeah. And they passed that new law. It was executive order. They stopped making.
Pat Godwin
You can't buy a new one.
Bob Kevoian
They can't buy another one and just go on with your life.
Chick McGee
So I had to. On Sunday morning, there was an incident. I'd had a birthday party for a bunch of nine year olds and apparently one of them had something go wrong. So I had to drive to the hardware store. There are like eight different kinds of plungers.
Tom Griswold
You know, I threw our plunger away when we, when we were packing this weekend. I was like, I'm not taking that.
Bob Kevoian
Well, you know what the best plungers.
Tom Griswold
Are Because I want a new one, a new house.
Chick McGee
Why don't you put your dishwasher with this guy's toilets?
Pat Godwin
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
First of all, all clogs. 90, 95% of clogs can be. Can be solved with a plunger. Period, End of story. But it's the bell, the. The round shaped plunger with the hole, not just the flat.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. It has the double. It's like a double thing.
Bob Kevoian
It goes. That's the one better seal and really you could really get yourself.
Chick McGee
I got the 36 one as opposed to the $7.
Bob Kevoian
So you. So you stopped looking for your old plunger and you did buy a new one.
Chick McGee
No, I looked everywhere. I couldn't find it.
Josh Arnold
You did the right thing by going to buy a new one.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
Such a sad story that is.
Chick McGee
Thank you to my buddy. Mr. Sullivan. I didn't call him or anything. I just.
Tom Griswold
You got Pat out of bed so he could help you.
Bob Kevoian
Probably.
Chick McGee
Which is. Which is the best kind of plunger. But I stood about 10 minutes reading the very.
Bob Kevoian
I wonder how many businesses in our surrounding area have a. Some sort of protocol. Griswold's on the way. Lock it down. And they put up a full clothes sign.
Tom Griswold
Have you seen this man?
Josh Arnold
Hopefully the employee standing next to the owner didn't know who Tom was. So. So the owner could just go, hey, watch this. I'm going to sell this guy a $36 plunger.
Bob Kevoian
And he just.
Josh Arnold
And he looks like salesman of the year.
Bob Kevoian
Boom.
Chick McGee
And there are a couple that are pretty tricky. Yeah. Yeah. There's a couple weird ones, but this one.
Bob Kevoian
You got it.
Chick McGee
There's a special technique. I had to read the directions.
Josh Arnold
Work like a charm.
Chick McGee
It worked right away.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
You got it. You got to put it in at an angle and it fills with water. Then you tip it up.
Bob Kevoian
I'm not going to let that go. He read the instructions.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
To use the plunger.
Chick McGee
It's. It's tricky.
Bob Kevoian
I have one that has a little house.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Yes, it has. That has a little case.
Bob Kevoian
You have a little house. Yeah, I have one.
Chick McGee
Does yours have the handle? You can turn the thing and it gets the handle smaller.
Josh Arnold
Oh, it's telescoping telescope.
Bob Kevoian
Wow. That doesn't seem like that. Would you get you a really good sock?
Josh Arnold
That's how I'm. That's how I feel.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah. You need a. You need.
Chick McGee
No, no. It locks in.
Josh Arnold
Okay, good, good.
Bob Kevoian
I don't think you're. Structural integrity on a plunger.
Tom Griswold
They also have one for every bathroom or just one?
Bob Kevoian
Just one.
Chick McGee
You know, they make them for your sink, too, specifically. Yeah, they're a little smaller. You don't make smaller ones. You don't want to use the toilet one in your sink.
Bob Kevoian
Well, this guy, you know, unless you're.
Chick McGee
The guy that puts his toilet seat in the dishwasher.
Bob Kevoian
Wednesday is toilet seat and plunger day in the dishwasher.
Josh Arnold
Sure, sure.
Bob Kevoian
At the same time.
Chick McGee
I got a great letter. Involves the Ace Cosby joke of the day. Do you want an hour? Do you want. In a few minutes?
Bob Kevoian
It's up to you.
Chick McGee
Okay. Why don't we come back with it?
Bob Kevoian
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Chick McGee
Thank you very much. When we come back, a special letter involving the Ace Cosby joke of the day. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
H
Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe.
Tom Griswold
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Bob Kevoian
Noon welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Hello, hello, hello. Happy St. Patrick's Day. Kiss me. I'm Irish. You know, people ask me Chick Magee, is that oddish, is that Scottish?
Chick McGee
I see Your name is McGee. Is that Irish or Scottish?
Bob Kevoian
No, it's fake. Oh.
Chick McGee
Thank you very much.
Bob Kevoian
Thank you very much. Hello. Hey, Christy Lee's here. Pat Godwin, Josh Arnold, Ace Cosby, Reno Collier will join us later. We're in the O'Reilly Ah. O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios.
Chick McGee
Hello, Tom, we have an interesting letter here from Brian.
Tom Griswold
Hi, Brian.
Bob Kevoian
I or no I or a Y.
Chick McGee
An I.
Bob Kevoian
All right.
Chick McGee
I'm not sure the difference.
Bob Kevoian
No more Y's.
Chick McGee
Over the past few years, it has become a tradition for me to provide a so called dad joke at our weeknight family dinners. Oh, all right. Occasionally I will use a joke from Ace Cosby's famous Ace Cosby joke of the day. Last week I had no choice. I was out of jokes. I was forced to use one of Ace's jokes. You may recall the joke. Oh, what kind of dog lives in a toilet? Now you're aware that Ace's answer was a poo doll.
Bob Kevoian
That's right.
Chick McGee
However, when I asked the question, my 13 year old son excitedly responded, what kind of dog lives in a toilet? A Shih Tzu.
Josh Arnold
Yes.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah, either would be acceptable.
Tom Griswold
Yes, I agree.
Josh Arnold
But only one acceptable at the dinner table.
Chick McGee
He was so excited. Thank you, Ace. Now he goes on to say, by the way, you guys attacked Tom on Friday when. When Christy described her fluffer.
Tom Griswold
Fluffernutter.
Chick McGee
Oh, fluffernutter sandwich.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, it's marshmallow cream and peanut butter sandwich.
Chick McGee
And I said fluffernutter sounds like a sex move.
Tom Griswold
Of course.
Bob Kevoian
Well, that you would think that fluffernutter influenced the term fluffer, wouldn't you? Wouldn't you think?
Chick McGee
And then he goes to the task of. Here, a fluffer is a person tasked with keeping the male performance aroused on the set of a pornographic film.
Tom Griswold
Right.
Chick McGee
If you want to confirm this, check on Google. That is correct. The so called fluffer. Do they have a. I know. Those porno awards, Josh. Yes, Josh is there. I. I know. Do they have the technical awards like best lighting, best sound boy?
Josh Arnold
If so, I'm not aware of them.
Chick McGee
Would they have the best fluffer?
Josh Arnold
I don't know. I don't know if fluffers are even still on on set anymore, thanks to Viagra and stuff.
Chick McGee
Oh, well, to explore this I have to find out.
Josh Arnold
Go for it.
Chick McGee
Maybe there's some that like to go old school.
Josh Arnold
There may be. Could be.
Chick McGee
Are there pornographic films that have a.
Bob Kevoian
No.
Chick McGee
Viagra was used in the making. No animals were harmed and no Viagra was born.
Josh Arnold
You would hope no animals would be armed.
Bob Kevoian
Right. Let's not bring animals in.
Chick McGee
Yes, they. I assume they have to. Aren't their standards they have to obey. Any more letters over there?
Bob Kevoian
I do not have anyone.
Chick McGee
Okay, then I guess it's time for Mr. Godwin to get out that guitar.
Pat Godwin
Oh, I couldn't wait. Wait till all morning.
Bob Kevoian
The sarcasm flows like molasses.
Pat Godwin
No, I enjoy my music. Us Irish are known for staying out a wee bit too late. We never know when to stop. When the bar still spin and the crowd is. Maybe it's time to go home. When it's starting to get light and there's no one to fight. Maybe it's time to go home. When you're driving with Teddy Kennedy See a bridge and down the road. Maybe it's time. Maybe it's time. Maybe it's time to go home. I've been knocking them back down at the pub sunset this morning. When you're drunk at noon and you puke at Fievel Maybe that's a warden. When you're dancing with a girl whose real name's Earl. Maybe it's time to go home. You should be asleep but you're flat with the sheep. Maybe it's time to go home. When you take a nice long leak but forget to pull down your clothes. Maybe it's time. Maybe it's time. Maybe it's time to go.
Chick McGee
Thank you very much, Patty G. Pat Godwin's new album is called Hotel Pool. Now, I bring this up because we had a letter where someone thought the album was called Hotel Sex, which that'd be totally different. Be good album.
Pat Godwin
I have a song, Hotel Sucks. That's probably why they're confused.
Tom Griswold
You do?
Bob Kevoian
Could we hear it now?
Pat Godwin
Give me 10 minutes, okay.
Chick McGee
All right. Got another nice letter here on the topic we were talking about a couple weeks ago, which was high school nicknames.
Bob Kevoian
And mine was Deluxe.
Tom Griswold
No, I think he means mascot.
Chick McGee
Mascot. Oh, not Chuck's. I love the name. Chuck's Deluxe.
Tom Griswold
I love that, too.
Chick McGee
This comes to us from a hard working man. His name is Sam.
Bob Kevoian
Christie's nickname was cranky.
Tom Griswold
Yep.
Chick McGee
And Sam's kind enough to write, I am a dairy farmer in southwest Wisconsin.
Tom Griswold
Well, that's a tough job.
Chick McGee
It is a tough job. And congratulations.
Bob Kevoian
I'm enjoying on them teats.
Tom Griswold
Thank you.
Chick McGee
I am enjoying some delightful.
Tom Griswold
Never a day off.
Chick McGee
This is. This is real cream, ladies and gentlemen.
Tom Griswold
Okay. Congratulations.
Bob Kevoian
Is it okay to, like, get a really long straw and take a hit of milk while you. While you're milking the cow?
Josh Arnold
I think so.
Bob Kevoian
That would be. Why would that not be okay?
Chick McGee
Why the straw?
Bob Kevoian
Because you can bend down into the.
Josh Arnold
Lifting the bucket and turning it over.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah, I see.
Chick McGee
No, no, I think, you know, if you're gonna do it, you just get right underneath there and yank.
Josh Arnold
Probably squirt it right in your mouth.
Chick McGee
Or suck or your eye.
Bob Kevoian
Isn't there like a movie where a kitty cat comes by when somebody's milking a cow and he shoots the milk right into the cat's mouth?
Tom Griswold
That seems like I've seen that.
Bob Kevoian
Or is that in 101 Dalmatians.
Josh Arnold
It could be something like that. Yeah.
Chick McGee
There might be a pornography.
Bob Kevoian
Could be.
Chick McGee
Sam, I'm so sorry. I'm glad I didn't use your last name.
Bob Kevoian
My giant Watson.
Chick McGee
Sam is a dairy farmer in southwest Wisconsin. If you go down Highway 151 from Madison to Dubuque, you drive by a lot of small towns, including Dodgeville. Their mascot, the Balls, the Dodgers.
Tom Griswold
Oh.
Chick McGee
Or if you go by Mineral Point, their mascot, the Pointers. The hunting dog. My favorite cartoon. Remember?
Bob Kevoian
There it is. There it is. He's a Pointer. Wait a minute. They're the Dodgeville Dodgers.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
Is it the Dodgers logo? LA Dodgers logo?
Chick McGee
I doubt it.
Tom Griswold
I think it's the Dodger Dodgeville balls.
Chick McGee
Like Dodgeball then his alma mater.
Bob Kevoian
Why aren't they the Dodgeville balls, Tom? And now here's your 2025 Dodgeville ball.
Chick McGee
I'm sorry, but his alma mater.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Sam went to Cuba City High School. They, of course, were the Fighting Cubans. He goes, I spent a lot of my time in high school screaming, let's go, Cubans. Probably.
Bob Kevoian
What is it they chant before they kill that guy in Scarface? Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.
Chick McGee
I'm surprised they were able to stick with. Stick with Cuba City.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
Why aren't they the Cuba City, Castro?
Chick McGee
Because I know that, for example, didn't they change Russiaville to Rougeville?
Bob Kevoian
Oh, really?
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
Well, in Ohio, there's a Russiaville, there's a Houston, and it smelled like Houston.
Josh Arnold
There's a Cuba, Missouri.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Drive through it all the time.
Chick McGee
Had to be awkward in 1961 and 2. Well, thanks for the. Thanks for making all that milk for us, Sam. We appreciate your hard work.
Bob Kevoian
That's where they should really dress it up and put the. Put the casinos in as Cuba. That's what we should start doing. What, Turn that into.
Josh Arnold
Make it kind of a Riviera?
Bob Kevoian
Yeah, Turn it into the way it used to be in there in the 50s.
Josh Arnold
I mean, they opened it back. Didn't know for a little Obama opened it back up. But it's not.
Bob Kevoian
It doesn't seem like it took.
Josh Arnold
I don't think it's.
Chick McGee
I want to say, I think time.
Josh Arnold
Is still moving slowly.
Bob Kevoian
Tom, you remember this? And don't say you don't me. You Johnny Ola. We went down there. We saw the donkey show. You know what I'm talking about?
Chick McGee
I want to say, I think over the.
Bob Kevoian
Superman was there this past weekend.
Chick McGee
I believe a large chunk of Cuba didn't have electricity.
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah, they're still Trying to figure it out.
Chick McGee
Yeah, they have some pretty bad issues.
Bob Kevoian
There's a problem.
Chick McGee
There's a reason a lot of people in Cuba make boats out of almost anything and try to come over here. And by the way, I say that especially those ones that are like really elaborate. Remember the one that looked like a like a 54 Chevy.
Bob Kevoian
One of the few things you and I agree on.
Chick McGee
I say you drive around, Coast Guard drives around and they judge him and that guy let him in first, second and third.
Josh Arnold
We've got. We can find something for you. Yes, you were able.
Pat Godwin
You made it.
Josh Arnold
Yes.
Bob Kevoian
You made this out of old plastic milk jugs. Come on in. Yes.
Chick McGee
Welcome to America. You're a hard working person and your family. Bring them on it. We love getting your letters. It's Bob and tomobandtom.com coming up. We have jelly snakes.
Josh Arnold
Jelly snakes anyone?
Tom Griswold
No, thanks.
Bob Kevoian
What about peanut butter snakes?
Chick McGee
We have. We have orgasm at the gym. We have breastfeeding on your phone.
Bob Kevoian
And more and more on March Madness. I can say March Madness in the sportscast, right? Yeah, you know that.
Chick McGee
Are you ready for some football?
Pat Godwin
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
Here we go.
Chick McGee
Wait a minute. Huh? That. That's the wrong sport, isn't it?
Bob Kevoian
Never mind.
Chick McGee
Okay. We are in the Aurelio Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
H
Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Get a look at today's show on our YouTube channel.
Josh Arnold
I can say to my new Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra, hey, find a keto friendly restaurant nearby and text it to Beth and Steve. And it does without me lifting a.
Tom Griswold
Finger so I can get in more.
Bob Kevoian
Squats anywhere I can. 1, 2, 3. Will that be cash or credit?
Josh Arnold
Credit.
Chick McGee
4 Galaxy S25 Ultra. The AI companion that does the heavy lifting. So you can do you get yours@samsung.com.
Josh Arnold
Compatible with select apps.
Chick McGee
Requires Google Gemini account. Results may vary based on input. Check responses for accuracy.
Bob Kevoian
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk.
Tom Griswold
Hello.
Bob Kevoian
There's Pat Godwin. Hello. Got a song right out of the hot from the oven coming out. There's Josh Arnold.
Josh Arnold
Hi there.
Bob Kevoian
Ace Cosby wearing the Notre Dame fighting Irish for St. Patrick's Day. I'm Chick McGee at the orangeinsols.com sports desk. I'm wearing my green swoosh Nikes and Tom says tells us that's a green shirt.
Josh Arnold
So it's green to me.
Christy Lee
Yes.
Bob Kevoian
In the O'Reilly Auto Parts.
Chick McGee
This is the closest I have.
Tom Griswold
Blue, green.
Josh Arnold
Nicely done.
Chick McGee
Josh has a Nice green flannel on.
Tom Griswold
That's very nice.
Chick McGee
Look at. Looking very good. Once again, Christy Lee at the Silac insurance news desk has green and her wedding ring.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Emeralds from my emeralds.
Chick McGee
That's as close. As close as we're gonna get over there. Now it's time for us to check in with the sporting scene.
Bob Kevoian
Well, I know how you guys think I'm. You don't think I'm sane, but so far I'm kind of a crazy. But I'm a crate. A fun crazy maybe.
Josh Arnold
Oh, okay.
Bob Kevoian
All right.
Josh Arnold
What?
Bob Kevoian
This happened Saturday morning and two things concerning the lady dogs.
Josh Arnold
Oh.
Tom Griswold
All right.
Bob Kevoian
I have a golden retriever, 11 years old, and an Australian shepherd who's will be three.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Bob Kevoian
And I'm sitting there and I'm watching my sports center and. And behind me they're both laying in the floor, my Australian shepherd. You have a dog that lays on her back?
Tom Griswold
Sure, yeah.
Bob Kevoian
And I hear.
Josh Arnold
What could that be?
Bob Kevoian
I don't know, but it was like it sounded. It sounded like it came from one.
Tom Griswold
Of the dogs whistling at you.
Josh Arnold
Weird.
Bob Kevoian
Either that or a haunting Tom. And then I go out on the deck and it's feeding time. Time to slap the hogs. I get a dog bowl and there's a good sized night crawler in the dog bowl. How did that. How did the night crawler get up there? It was all. It was on my deck.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. Or a bird dropped it.
Bob Kevoian
But.
Josh Arnold
But it must have been.
Bob Kevoian
It was long way from dirt, man.
Josh Arnold
It could make it. Yeah, they can make their way up there.
Bob Kevoian
Okay.
Chick McGee
It had been raining, I'm guessing.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
It was crazy.
Josh Arnold
When it was damp. I'm sure it went well.
Chick McGee
We have.
Bob Kevoian
I like the bird.
Josh Arnold
That whistle, Tom, have been a melodic dog fart. You know, sometimes yours, it'll kind of hit. You'll get perfect pitch or it'll make kind of a.
Chick McGee
The anus gets that. Ambusher.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
The anal embouchure is.
Bob Kevoian
Has anyone ever tried to play the flute with their anus?
Chick McGee
I just want to say hello to like any oboe or clarinet players or trombonists out there that never heard the term anal ambusher because I just made it up.
Josh Arnold
So maybe it was that. But that would have been so wild.
Bob Kevoian
And I had been watching Twilight Zones. Yeah.
Chick McGee
So there you go. It's probably your furnace or something making some kind of noise.
Bob Kevoian
The dogs whistling at me.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Bob Kevoian
All right. Dogs can't whistle. Right.
Chick McGee
Well, by the way, I got this.
Tom Griswold
I've never heard one.
Chick McGee
We were talking about A driver's head. And I was asking, does. Does the football coach still teach drivers that this guy race you? Dear Bob and Tom, our driving instructor was the football coach. One guy drove so bad, the coach cut him from the team. Okay. Not really fair, but I don't think.
Bob Kevoian
You'Re supposed to do that.
Chick McGee
I don't think so. What have we got over there?
Bob Kevoian
In the world of sports, Auburn is the top overall seed in the NCAA Tournament with Duke Houston and Florida Florida. Other three, number one. See? Are you in some sort of pool?
Tom Griswold
No, but I have a feeling. Florida Gators.
Bob Kevoian
Florida Gators, she says. All right.
Chick McGee
Who's in charge of the pool here?
Bob Kevoian
I don't know.
Pat Godwin
I don't even know we had a pool.
Josh Arnold
I wouldn't do it, Jess.
Bob Kevoian
I would. It's. It's really much work. You hear a lot about thankless jobs and that. The way we run this. This pool. I don't know how, but, I mean, it's what we do. And we've always done it, and that doesn't make it right, but we. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Did you win last year?
Chick McGee
Oh, I've never. I have never won. Bob would win every year.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, he did.
Bob Kevoian
We take the four regions and we put the teams from in an envelope. And then you get a pick from each region, one pick from each region, and that's your team.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, it's fun.
Josh Arnold
But is it that fun?
Bob Kevoian
No, no.
Josh Arnold
That's the thing. None of us are ever that. We don't really have fun.
Tom Griswold
No, there's a lot of us. Give 13 seeds.
Chick McGee
I don't explain. I'll pay. I'll pay and buy extra. Extra seeds.
Josh Arnold
All right.
Bob Kevoian
How about. How about.
Chick McGee
How about.
Bob Kevoian
How about we do the square game for the national championship? How about that?
Tom Griswold
That's fun.
Bob Kevoian
And put in 25 bucks a number. Oh, look at that. I tried to pay off at 2500.
Josh Arnold
I am with Chick on that. Are we gonna do it?
Pat Godwin
My cards one morning. Wouldn't that be fun?
Josh Arnold
Yes.
Bob Kevoian
Let's get a slot machine in here. And. Whoops. We one step over the line.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, boy. You know, we don't know until we know.
Bob Kevoian
That's right. And he certainly does let us know. Meanwhile, on. On the ladies side, UCLA is the number one overall seed in the women's tournament. The Bruins are joined by South Carolina, USC and Texas as the. By the way. Yes.
Josh Arnold
Well done on tournament. Yeah, you're really. It's. It's. You're keeping it subtle.
Bob Kevoian
I like.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
And I think it's the proper pronunciation.
Chick McGee
Is there A ladies nit.
Josh Arnold
There's the Continental ladies.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Never mind. You know something?
Tom Griswold
Next.
Chick McGee
No, you know what?
Bob Kevoian
That's exactly what you were trying to do.
Chick McGee
No, but I had. I didn't make the. The genius move that Josh did to get right to it.
Bob Kevoian
Where are we? What was I doing? Oh. The Bengals have agreed to four year extensions with Jamar Chase and T. Higgins, both whiteouts, assuring Mr. Burrow he will have his top two targets with him for the next four years.
Josh Arnold
At least let me drive the car. Higgins.
Bob Kevoian
A person familiar. Magna PI. A person familiar with the negotiations. Chase will become the highest paid non quarterback in NFL history. $161 million, 112 million guaranteed. That surpasses the 40 million per year average that Miles Garrett from the Browns just got.
Josh Arnold
Jake, remember on Magnum PI Higgins would often try to negotiate with Magnum. I'm sorry. Yeah. And I will allow you. You can't use the tennis courts for three months. Higgins. I'm just trying to do my job. Too much? All right, fine.
Bob Kevoian
I used to do Tom Selleck on Magna PI.
Pat Godwin
Higgins.
Josh Arnold
Oh, that's great.
Bob Kevoian
Remember how I used to do.
Pat Godwin
That's good.
Josh Arnold
In the reboot, Higgins is a beautiful blonde. Is that right?
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Woman. Yeah. Oh, okay.
Tom Griswold
They're beautiful blonde men.
Josh Arnold
Of course.
Bob Kevoian
Major League Baseball season kicks off.
Chick McGee
Kicks off. Interesting.
Josh Arnold
But there isn't like a hit soft. You know what I mean? Or throws off. There's not a.
Chick McGee
Why would you use a football analogy?
Josh Arnold
So what? Could you.
Chick McGee
Is that an Associated Press story?
Bob Kevoian
Yeah. And I didn't add.
Tom Griswold
It's Associated AI.
Bob Kevoian
That's you and your AI. That sounds like something that. That I would have thrown in there. I. I don't have a problem mixing my metaphors. Kicks off, tease off.
Tom Griswold
Kicks off all the time.
Bob Kevoian
We're going to tee off baseball.
Chick McGee
You. You don't kick off a baseball game.
Tom Griswold
You kick off a parade. You kicked. I mean.
Bob Kevoian
Yes. Yeah, she's right.
Pat Godwin
Kick off a parade.
Bob Kevoian
What time's kickoff?
Josh Arnold
Right.
Bob Kevoian
You're there. Swinger parties. What time should I be there?
Josh Arnold
Yeah. Yeah.
Pat Godwin
Bring a pineapple.
Bob Kevoian
Kicks off. 9:30. That kicks off. You say kick or clit. Not kick.
Tom Griswold
What?
Bob Kevoian
Kick off.
Chick McGee
See, now he's doing it. So when did you start drinking?
Bob Kevoian
Major League Baseball season starts Tuesday night in Tokyo. 6am In God's country. 6am Eastern. Tomorrow, the Cubs and the Dodgers. 6am that's your first pitch on Fox.
Josh Arnold
Did you see Shohei over the weekend?
Bob Kevoian
You mean show? Hey, Ohtani. It's getting there.
Josh Arnold
Hit a home run in his home.
Bob Kevoian
Country in front of the. His homies.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. Pretty cool.
Bob Kevoian
Is what's his dog's name?
Josh Arnold
Sort of practice game, I guess.
Bob Kevoian
Barrister. What is it?
Chick McGee
Whose dog was it?
Tom Griswold
Barrister.
Josh Arnold
We did talk about it.
Bob Kevoian
What is it, Lincoln? What is it?
Pat Godwin
I don't know.
Chick McGee
You're talking.
Tom Griswold
I'll look it up.
Bob Kevoian
What's his name? Tojo. What is it?
Josh Arnold
I doubt it's Lincoln. Kuju.
Bob Kevoian
Cujo. Will you guess the name for Shohei Otani's dog, please?
Chick McGee
Nagasaki.
Pat Godwin
Are you happy?
Josh Arnold
You know what we asked him?
Tom Griswold
The American name is Decoy but the Japanese name is De Copenhagen.
Josh Arnold
Oh, that's nothing I remember at all.
Chick McGee
That helps. So what does he call him?
Bob Kevoian
Decoy. Well, when he's.
Tom Griswold
We call him here Decoy.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Dog's got to be confused.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
No, the dog speaks Japanese. Think about that for a second.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Pat Godwin
He's bilingual.
Bob Kevoian
Damn right he is.
Josh Arnold
And the dog's the one with the real gambling problem. Nobody ever talks about that.
Bob Kevoian
He's so cute though. Look at him sit at the blackjack table.
Josh Arnold
Can you see him nervously in front of a television?
Bob Kevoian
Have you seen the late scores come in yet?
Tom Griswold
It's got a little visor on. Playing poker.
Bob Kevoian
And guess what time it is, ladies and gentlemen. What's better than a Logo three? You know what a Logo three is in a basketball game?
Tom Griswold
No.
Bob Kevoian
It's a three from the logo. Where it is on the floor. Really deep shot. How about three from three quarters? Court shot for the win. A place called Norris College and Norris had both. Anything can happen on the hardwood in March. The floors of Pinnacle Bank Arena. It was Norris beating. Two minutes left. The Thunderbolts led 47:41 with 129 left in the second half. And there's nothing better than March. Let's go to the videotape. There they are. Lincoln, Pius X and Norris. This is high school basketball.
Tom Griswold
They'll switch inbounders.
Chick McGee
Volkmar to Weber.
Josh Arnold
Shot doesn't.
Bob Kevoian
Here it comes. He got that off.
Chick McGee
Oh, nothing but net.
Bob Kevoian
Listen to the play by play, guys. They're high school kids.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
They're so happy. Yeah, you heard me say it.
Chick McGee
It was beyond. It's from the opposing. Yeah, the foul line.
Bob Kevoian
Right.
Chick McGee
That is incredible. Wow.
Tom Griswold
Like the state championship or something. That was amazing.
Bob Kevoian
It was amazing.
Ace Cosby
Wasn't that amazing?
Josh Arnold
That just shows you anybody can play basketball.
Pat Godwin
Yeah.
Chick McGee
You know what I mean.
Josh Arnold
That game is pure luck. Really?
Christy Lee
Yep.
Bob Kevoian
There was an incident. Speaking of basketball and Chicago Bulls and disturbed.
Chick McGee
We'll come back with that.
Josh Arnold
Yes, we will disturb the band.
Bob Kevoian
Yes.
Josh Arnold
Oh, I'm looking forward to it. And you'll be disturbed if your body's disturbed. Maybe you've got some back pain, hip pain, knee pain. Could be because you're working on your feet all day with flimsy liners in your shoes. You're getting zero support there, my friends. That's why orange insoles is a thing. They offer arch support and a deep heel cup that work better in your shoes to help support your body and give you better alignment, thus helping to alleviate that discomfort. Orange Insoles just released their brand new Orange sport insole. Most athletic shoes lack true support. You may not know that, but it's true. Whether you're walking, running or jogging, just moving around. Orange Sport can help keep your body in line so you can perform your best. It features new and exclusive o foam technology. It has a thin athletic profile for top performance, offering three times the durability and 40% more energy return, as they used to say. Is it the shoes? No, it's the insoles. That's right. Find the right orange insole for you and every shoe, whether you're wearing work boots, dress, shoes, sneakers, you name it and there's no cutting required. They come true to size. You don't need to break out the scissors. And they include sizes 15 plus. Go to orangeinsouls.com today for free shipping. Plus, orange insoles come with a 60 day. We want you to be happy guarantee, that's orangeinsouls.com. feel better, do more.
Chick McGee
And today, in honor of St. Patrick's Day, orange insoles are all going to be orange.
Josh Arnold
Yes.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah. Yeah.
Josh Arnold
They're not going to change it up.
Chick McGee
Yeah, they were going to try to do the green thing. They realized, wait a second, we can't shut down the whole factory.
Bob Kevoian
No, we're not.
Chick McGee
One stupid day. They're a dumb idea. Orange insoles, check them out. You're going to feel better from the bottom up. Bottoms up. Coming up in sports.
Bob Kevoian
What am I doing? It says here Scottish, but who's counting? We'll be right back with the World Diddling Championships. I'll look back at great moments in sports.
Josh Arnold
Current champion, Gary Glitter.
Chick McGee
Not helpful. Really, not at all. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Tom Griswold
My dad works in B2B marketing.
Pat Godwin
He came by my school for career.
Josh Arnold
Day and said he was a big roas man.
Tom Griswold
Then he told everyone how much he.
Josh Arnold
Loved calculating his return on ad spend.
Tom Griswold
My friends still laugh at me to this day.
Bob Kevoian
Not everyone gets B2B. But with LinkedIn.
Chick McGee
You'll be able to reach people who do get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to LinkedIn.com results to claim your credit.
Bob Kevoian
That's LinkedIn.com results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be. To be. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Top show in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Josh Arnold and Ace Cosby. Pat Godwin. Hello, Christy Lee. Having a pull off some 30 win cup of Joe.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, get me going.
Bob Kevoian
Coffee going. I'm Chick McGee at the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. Hello, Tom.
Chick McGee
Does anyone still say cup of Joe?
Tom Griswold
I love it.
Bob Kevoian
It's not the telephone, it's the blower.
Chick McGee
Yeah, I love that one.
Bob Kevoian
That's get around the blower.
Chick McGee
Got him on the blower. I don't think you say that.
Josh Arnold
My grandma said horn all the time. Time. I'll get him on the horn. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah.
Chick McGee
Okay. Okay. Now we're in the middle of a sportscast of sorts.
Bob Kevoian
I. I believe we are. And well musher Jesse Holmes has won the longest ever Iditarod Trail sled dog race. Longest ever bundled up well wishers four below.
Tom Griswold
Oh, whoa.
Bob Kevoian
Line to street along the Bering Sea coastline in the early morning darkness, cheering him across the finish line in the gold rush town of Nome. And you remember Tom, there's no place.
Chick McGee
Like no well worth it.
Bob Kevoian
Damn right. 11:28 mile long course it took him 10 days, 14 hours, 55 minutes and 41 seconds. Three hours ahead of the second place finisher.
Josh Arnold
Oh, how many boxes of milk bones you take with you?
Bob Kevoian
Man oh man.
Tom Griswold
A lot.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah, got it. Got to take care of your dog at least three. Yeah, I used to watch this. I might start watching it again. It's called Life Below Zero. And there's two or three different There's a family and then there's guy who trains sled dogs and. And there's a woman who is up there by herself for good reason. She takes care of sometimes I get her segment about or his segment about sled dogs and her mixed up. No. And she takes care of one of the only airfields in the area.
Josh Arnold
Oh, really?
Tom Griswold
This guy that won the Jesse Holmes was on that show from 2015 through 2023. He was a cast member on Life Below Zero.
Bob Kevoian
That's the guy.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Wow.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
Really got close to his dogs and.
Chick McGee
I think they changed the lyrics to that song. I wish I had Jesse's girls.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. Yeah.
Chick McGee
Glad I don't have Jesse's girl because.
Tom Griswold
He had competed for many years. But this was his first one. All right.
Chick McGee
Jix one said she was a dog.
Josh Arnold
Yes. Yeah. But I don't think Jesse.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Jesse wasn't affiliated with this woman.
Chick McGee
Non stop sex.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. You turn those cameras off. They went crazy.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah. Of course they hope to find the third and fourth place finisher later this afternoon.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. That's man, oh man, Jack. London territory up there, boy.
Bob Kevoian
I don't. Do you like, dislike being cold or you dislike being too hot? Which do you dislike more? Which can you tolerate better?
Josh Arnold
Pat, what do you say?
Bob Kevoian
He.
Pat Godwin
I hate the cold.
Bob Kevoian
Hate the cold.
Josh Arnold
So this Iditarod thing not for you?
Chick McGee
No way, man.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, I don't. I'm not a big fan. I'd rather be hot than.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Pat Godwin
And you are hot.
Chick McGee
Tom, your thoughts? I don't know.
Bob Kevoian
I'd rather be.
Chick McGee
I guess. I guess I'd rather be hot.
Bob Kevoian
I'd rather be hot. Yeah.
Josh Arnold
What about. I mean, we're talking life and death here. Would you rather be in some snowy tundra trying to build a fire or in some hot blazing desert trying to find water?
Chick McGee
I'll go for the cold, then.
Pat Godwin
I'm gonna go.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. I think I'm going cold that way.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
What's the. What's would your preference be? What animal would you choose to crawl inside of to stay warm?
Chick McGee
Warm.
Bob Kevoian
If you were a bear.
Pat Godwin
I'm gonna go with elephant.
Bob Kevoian
I don't think elephants. I don't think elephant in cold weather.
Josh Arnold
I'm with Christy. I think a bear might be the way to go.
Bob Kevoian
Tom, would you.
Josh Arnold
The hard part is killing it.
Chick McGee
Yes. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Gutting it.
Bob Kevoian
Would you go ahead and freeze to death instead of crawling inside an animal?
Chick McGee
No. No. Oh, no.
Bob Kevoian
No.
Chick McGee
Yeah. You crawl inside an animal, you do.
Tom Griswold
What you gotta do.
Christy Lee
Survivors.
Tom Griswold
Heck yeah.
Chick McGee
You have a knife, right? You don't have to go in the ass, right?
Josh Arnold
Well, you know what I was going to say, of course you have a knife. But now I'm thinking, you know what?
Bob Kevoian
You know, whatever you like. You're cold.
Chick McGee
Well, we. We found him knee deep in the mud vein. Oh my God.
Josh Arnold
Could we get more at least only 65° out.
Pat Godwin
I don't know.
Josh Arnold
I don't know why this guy. He may not have been here for the hunting as they said.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah, there was. He really, really wants to unseasonably war, you know. Let me. Listen to me. You're going to want to go back and listen to that again.
Chick McGee
I didn't want to listen to it when it started.
Bob Kevoian
Chicago Bulls, six NBA championship banners have Been removed from the United center rafters after they were damaged during a concert by Disturbed.
Chick McGee
How?
Bob Kevoian
According to United Center's statement, the banners sustained minor damage during a performance by the rock band Disturbed on Saturday night. The banners are expected to be back in place next season. The Bulls beat the Nets 116, 110at home Thursday night. Next home game next Thursday is that Thursday 27th against the Lakers. Whatever.
Chick McGee
Tickets. What the hell are you.
Josh Arnold
We still don't know how.
Chick McGee
Why were they. How are they damaged? Are they dangling from the ceiling?
Bob Kevoian
Well, splattered.
Christy Lee
I've seen videos.
Josh Arnold
Disturbed in their lighting rig catches on fire. Oh. But still, that's pretty low. Yeah.
Chick McGee
Their lighting grid catches on fire.
Josh Arnold
You know, maybe just the. The heat melted.
Chick McGee
They're lucky nobody was killed.
Bob Kevoian
Is it supposed to. Is it a. Is it a. Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Okay. The flames are along the. Yeah.
Chick McGee
And they allow that?
Josh Arnold
Sure.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah. Great White was a long time ago.
Chick McGee
Over the weekend, it happened again.
Josh Arnold
Oh, no.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
A lot of gas car. No, no. Macedonia.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Ace Cosby
Oh.
Josh Arnold
But no, not here in America. Okay.
Tom Griswold
It was in Macedonia.
Chick McGee
It happened here in America. Not too long ago.
Josh Arnold
I know, but we don't want that happening.
Bob Kevoian
Can I turn your attention to say something?
Chick McGee
Can it be about the music?
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Do you really have to have the flames indoors?
Josh Arnold
Yeah, you have their place.
Chick McGee
They have their place.
Bob Kevoian
If you can't.
Chick McGee
If you can't play your instruments and your music stinks.
Josh Arnold
No, that's not the case. You're a big KISS fan, you weirdo. Tom. You go to concert to see them. Yeah, the show.
Bob Kevoian
You see him spit up blood. You only hear about it. Is there something. When you see.
Josh Arnold
You go see the Eagles at the Sphere.
Pat Godwin
Yeah, that's kind of stuff going on.
Chick McGee
They didn't have. They got up there in their blue jeans and played their music without anything.
Pat Godwin
With the background images.
Chick McGee
Yes, but they set the place on fire and kill anybody.
Pat Godwin
Not yet.
Bob Kevoian
Every day you say something that makes you older and older. They got up there in their blue jeans.
Pat Godwin
Jimmy Buffet didn't wear shoes.
Bob Kevoian
Damn right he did.
Chick McGee
They can. Well, they could actually play their instruments.
Josh Arnold
That guy's got one of the best voices working today. Absolutely.
Chick McGee
Why does he need to have the flamethrowers up there to sell.
Josh Arnold
Why does the. Why do the Eagles have to be in a VR globe?
Chick McGee
Because they're not setting anybody on fire.
Josh Arnold
No.
Chick McGee
You don't have an argument here.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Admittedly, when I saw Kiss, that was very cool. But.
Bob Kevoian
But nevertheless, in 1974, in Kinross, Scotland, they hosted the World Diddling Championships. Yes, that's right. It celebrates the Scottish tradition of diddling.
Chick McGee
Now, that's just before they do the squatting, by the way.
Josh Arnold
You did all. Then you squat.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
No, if you diddle, you're smiling.
Chick McGee
If you squat first. If you diddle, you want to wear galoshes.
Tom Griswold
If you diddle properly, you are definitely smiling.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah. If you diddle. Yeah. You can do pretty much anything after diddling.
Chick McGee
Sexual.
Bob Kevoian
To me, it's the Scottish tradition of diddling, a form of lilting or mouth music.
Josh Arnold
Oh.
Bob Kevoian
Where performers vocalize instrumental tunes using nonsensical syllables.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Bob Kevoian
Scottish scatting.
Tom Griswold
Do we have a example?
Chick McGee
Oh, yes.
Pat Godwin
I think we have the man right here.
Bob Kevoian
The event, covered by the BBC, showcased participants rhythmic and melodic vocalizations reflecting Scotland's rich musical heritage. Turn up the monitor there so we can hear the audio. There's our first contestant. Here we go.
Tom Griswold
I don't know if he was doing it down there. That would make.
Bob Kevoian
This.
Chick McGee
This guy's supposed to be good at this. But a lot of very, very strong diddlers here today.
Pat Godwin
Okay, I like it.
Bob Kevoian
Hang on. They're competing. That guy seated.
Chick McGee
These people have all their wits about them.
Bob Kevoian
Yes.
Josh Arnold
I'll be honest.
Pat Godwin
They're liquored up.
Josh Arnold
That's what I do in a grocery store. I. As. I'm. Yes, I'm a. I'm a diddler.
Bob Kevoian
I'm a whistler.
Josh Arnold
I'm a hummer.
Chick McGee
You're a midnight fiddler. Can you play it again? Is there music underneath them?
Bob Kevoian
I think the music.
Chick McGee
Play it again.
Josh Arnold
Well, that's a testament to the diddling. He thought there was a band.
Chick McGee
No, no, there's a. Is there a drum?
Tom Griswold
No, somebody was so.
Chick McGee
It's terrible with the judges.
Pat Godwin
That's my Uncle Tony.
Josh Arnold
He looks like the lead guy from Shine.
Bob Kevoian
He does look like Jeffrey Rush. Like eight feet tall. Isn't it pleasant?
Josh Arnold
I think it's pleasant.
Pat Godwin
I think it's crazy.
Chick McGee
I just.
Bob Kevoian
I don't understand why they don't do this anymore.
Tom Griswold
I don't either.
Josh Arnold
When you're walking through the fjords, don't you want to hear that? That's crazy.
Tom Griswold
Maybe we'll hear that on our trip. If you join me when we go to Scotland.
Bob Kevoian
Mother McCree.
Josh Arnold
Gross segue.
Chick McGee
If you're just joining us here on the Bob and Tom show, we are coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Could I hear the Diddlers one more time, please? I'm really enjoying this.
Bob Kevoian
I like the Diddler. I like the BBC commentator, too.
Chick McGee
And it's he's very good.
Pat Godwin
This guy's my favorite.
Bob Kevoian
I don't think he's okay.
Chick McGee
No, he.
Bob Kevoian
He.
Chick McGee
He looks like he's a challenge mentally. The only contestant so far choosing the seated position. That's. That's serious.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah, the guy from the BBC, pal. Okay.
Josh Arnold
This guy's lovely.
Pat Godwin
That's what's wrong with Van Morrison.
Bob Kevoian
You know how ties are long nowadays? Short back then, I guess.
Chick McGee
And so. I'm sorry. So the championship's happening now?
Bob Kevoian
No, it was in 1974. It was a look back at competitive fiddling. They've stopped the competition.
Tom Griswold
Did that look they have temporary to you?
Josh Arnold
Yeah. It is a shame they've stopped.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah. I don't think they've had it since 1974.
Tom Griswold
Oh, I wonder why the kids didn't pick up on that.
Pat Godwin
I don't think they did.
Josh Arnold
Can we get a chorus of Diddlers in here?
Pat Godwin
That would be fun.
Chick McGee
Are there multiple categories? Do they have duos and trios?
Bob Kevoian
Yeah, I think they're all Acapulco. As Acapulco.
Chick McGee
So they do it in Spanish, kind.
Josh Arnold
Of like a barbershop quartet. It's the Barbershop Diddlers.
Chick McGee
Why don't we, the three of us, try it right now?
Josh Arnold
Okay.
Chick McGee
You, me, and Godwin. Ready?
Josh Arnold
Where do you. I'll go low.
Pat Godwin
Okay.
Josh Arnold
Okay.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Bob Kevoian
Wait a minute. What two. Are you gonna try to pick a tune?
Pat Godwin
We got this.
Josh Arnold
All right.
Chick McGee
You can only use the D sound.
Bob Kevoian
The Scottish tradition of diddling, a form of lilting or mouth music. Not hum, hum, hum, hum, hum.
Josh Arnold
It's not bad. Yeah. I mean, we can't go on too long, otherwise.
Chick McGee
Keep going.
Josh Arnold
I think that's a mistake.
Chick McGee
Up the bum, up the bum. Diddly do drinking.
Bob Kevoian
West Virginia football players will need to save their best moves for the football field. They call him Rich Rod. That's right. Coach Rich Rodriguez has banned the Mountaineers from dancing on TikTok.
Josh Arnold
Really?
Bob Kevoian
West Virginia coach told reporters about the band last week at spring practice. Rodriguez, 61, hired in December for his. Yes. Second stint as the coach of the Mountaineers. Coach Rodriguez said, we try to have a hard edge or whatever, and you're in there in your tights dancing on TikTok. Rodriguez said, it ain't quite the image of our program that I want.
Josh Arnold
Okay. He continued, I like a coach that lays down the law.
Bob Kevoian
Twenty years from now, if they want to be sitting in their pajamas in the basement eating Cheetos and watching TikTok or whatever the hell, they can go at it smoking the Cannabis. Yeah, whatever. Knock yourself out. I hope our focus can be on winning football games. How about let's win the football game and not worry about winning? Tick tock.
Chick McGee
Yes, that's right. But on the other hand, he does have a sense of humor because they all have to wear bedazzled jock straps. Yeah. So they can.
Josh Arnold
That seems antithetical to his message. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chick McGee
I have a question.
Josh Arnold
Ask it.
Chick McGee
Is this the premise for the next Footloose? If this were a high school coach. No dancing on TikTok, I think this would be perfect for Footloose. Foot is. Has there been a Footloose? There's been a two, Right?
Josh Arnold
There was a remake.
Bob Kevoian
Was there?
Josh Arnold
There was, yeah, with Juliana Hough and Miles.
Bob Kevoian
Miles Teller.
Tom Griswold
Wasn't it Miles.
Pat Godwin
What was it called?
Josh Arnold
Oh, if he was a supporting. He wasn't the main guy.
Pat Godwin
Oh, Footlooser. What was it called?
Bob Kevoian
Feet Loose.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, Feet Loose.
Chick McGee
I just think there should be another. I think this guy should. Halfway through the season, if they're doing well, he should have all his guys get in uniform and have them do a dance for TikTok as a group. Have a choreographer come in, teach them something in about an hour, and then they can go out and they can dance to this great song. Remember the band, Christy?
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Men Without Hats.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah, no hats.
Josh Arnold
Miles Teller is in the remake. I love this song.
Chick McGee
Me too.
Josh Arnold
Not a fan.
Bob Kevoian
This is better than anything you've ever done.
Chick McGee
Both to Diamonds. Oh, that's a great song. It's a great song. That's. That's. By the way, men without Helmets.
Josh Arnold
Oh, the football.
Bob Kevoian
Yes.
Chick McGee
Yeah, the football. Football analogy.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah. Right. Without helmets.
Chick McGee
Coming up in sports.
Bob Kevoian
Coming up. Oh, okay, we've got. Who wants an orgasm? Raise your hand. Anybody? Yeah, Tom raised his head. He wants an orgasm.
Chick McGee
You're selling them.
Bob Kevoian
I am. I'm handing them out by the dozen over here this morning.
Josh Arnold
I'll give you one.
Bob Kevoian
Tom.
Chick McGee
I don't want one of yours.
Tom Griswold
You know. You want one of your own. Don't you?
Josh Arnold
Put the oven.
Bob Kevoian
How uncomfortable would you be if you and I.
Chick McGee
There's a first thing last people on.
Bob Kevoian
Earth, I have to give you an orgasm. I'd be okay with that.
Chick McGee
No, I would not.
Pat Godwin
But why would you have to do.
Chick McGee
Now, how about if in the morning you come in and hand me an envelope? What's in here? It's my orgasm from an hour ago.
Josh Arnold
Really?
Chick McGee
Why in an envelope? Yeah, maybe you should have used a jar.
Tom Griswold
Wow.
Bob Kevoian
Some sick resigning joke or something. Is what. No, I put my Hand over there.
Josh Arnold
You know, I'm gonna. I think it was. And he called an audible.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah. And do. And do a little of this, you know, and then.
Chick McGee
All right, thanks. We'll find out about what this dumb story is when we return. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
H
There's more of the show coming up. Book your next vacation with Christy Lee and Colette. Visit England, Scotland and Wales. The this September 28th. Visit bobandtom.com for details. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Bob Kevoian
You don't wake up dreaming of McDonald's fries. You wake up dreaming of McDonald's hash browns. McDonald's breakfast comes first. Stand by. Tom's having a mild stroke.
Tom Griswold
What the heck?
Bob Kevoian
Hey. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show where the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy and Pat and Josh and Ace. And I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.
Tom Griswold
Great St. Patrick's Day we're having now.
Chick McGee
Once again, don't forget to put on your green.
Tom Griswold
That's right.
Chick McGee
Christy's got green in her wedding ring. Mr. Godwin. You're the Irish guy. And you.
Pat Godwin
I don't wear green. Never have I refused.
Tom Griswold
Why?
Pat Godwin
It's a family thing.
Bob Kevoian
It's called negative 10. Attention seeking.
Tom Griswold
You love attention.
Chick McGee
Chick has the green swoosh in his shoes.
Bob Kevoian
That's right.
Chick McGee
Ace is wearing a Notre Dame cap. Although it is strictly black and white. This kind of mild protest.
Bob Kevoian
I'm gonna watch the movies Leprechaun and Leprechaun 2 today.
Tom Griswold
Oh, that's a nice.
Chick McGee
There's a Leprechaun 2.
Bob Kevoian
Is that what Tom.
Josh Arnold
There's a Leprechauna 3. There's a Leprechun in space. And there are two.
Pat Godwin
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Bob Kevoian
Hang on. Leprechaun in space.
Josh Arnold
There's a leprechaun in the hood. Oh, and then leprechaun. Leprechaun, back to the hood.
Chick McGee
Are these.
Bob Kevoian
No way.
Chick McGee
Are these animated or is.
Josh Arnold
No, no. Warwick Davis plays leprechaun throughout the Killer Leprechaun. And I think at one point they found that they were like, you know, these were going straight to video. And they went. So many black people are renting these. And then they went. And they made the back to the hood ones.
Chick McGee
Culturally, is the leprechaun a man of a small in size?
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah, yeah. Warwick Davis played one of the Ewoks. And then willow. He was.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah, yeah.
Josh Arnold
And ice tees in.
Bob Kevoian
More than one.
Josh Arnold
He is in one of them. That's right.
Chick McGee
Wow.
Tom Griswold
Oh, my.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, I recognize that guy Jennifer Anderson is in part one.
Tom Griswold
Is she?
Bob Kevoian
Yeah, it's the one where she and Ross are. No, that's not.
Chick McGee
I. I have.
Josh Arnold
I was pogo sticks of a man to death in part one.
Chick McGee
Is he on the pogo stick?
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah, yeah. And he's kind of diddling. He's. I've had it.
Bob Kevoian
Hey.
Josh Arnold
To.
Bob Kevoian
He.
Josh Arnold
He's like. He's. He's like saying some kind of limerick or something as he. Because they stole some of his gold.
Chick McGee
Wow. Does he dress in a typical.
Josh Arnold
He looks like a leprechaun, but he looks evil. Yeah. Yeah.
Chick McGee
Wow. I was not aware of the leprechaun franchise.
Pat Godwin
Have you seen them all?
Josh Arnold
No.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Chick McGee
The fact that you can recite them though is impressive.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
It's called Leprechaun in da Hood. And then leprechaun spell it out that way in duhood.
Josh Arnold
I believe so. Yeah. Yeah. And I think back to Dahood is the number two.
Tom Griswold
Ah.
Bob Kevoian
So is that right?
Josh Arnold
And then they made. They tried to reboot it with Leprechaun Origins starring Hornswoggle, the WWFRE wrestler. Remember that guy? I do not. Short stature. Yeah, yeah. A dwarf, you know.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
A little person. Yeah. That's kind of gone away. Hasn't a little person wrestling? Right.
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah, probably. I hope.
Chick McGee
You know there's a controversy right now about the new Snow White movie.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Have your kids watched it?
Chick McGee
Not yet.
Pat Godwin
What are they called?
Josh Arnold
I don't think they call them. They don't call them dwarves.
Chick McGee
And the Seven Dwarfs is not in the title. It's just Right. Snow White.
Josh Arnold
But they look just like them. Yeah, but they're all CGI or something.
Bob Kevoian
Right, but.
Chick McGee
And a legitimate dwarf actor was kind of protesting.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. Like, hey, why not give us job, right?
Tom Griswold
No joke.
Chick McGee
So in this world you can't win. Anyways, I think we've all learned that.
Josh Arnold
Snow White don't look like Snow White either. Not my Snow White.
Chick McGee
Is this Snow White in the hood?
Bob Kevoian
I have trouble. I saw the trailer over the weekend. I have trouble believing that Gal Gadot is. Is the queen.
Josh Arnold
Is she too beautiful?
Bob Kevoian
I. It's. It's amazing.
Josh Arnold
There's kind of. There's kind of a chance she's too pretty to be an evil person.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah. It just comes across that she's. I just get that she's really, really nice.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
And wants me to call her.
Josh Arnold
Early reviews are though that it's pretty good. Really. So who knows?
Chick McGee
And is this a theatrical release or is this going to be on Disney plus?
Josh Arnold
Oh, I thought it was just going to the theater next week.
Bob Kevoian
All right, who wants to try to name the seven dwarves? Don't look at on Google. I got it right here in front of me.
Josh Arnold
Christie's got this.
Tom Griswold
Happy?
Bob Kevoian
Nope.
Tom Griswold
Happy. Sneezy. Doc. Dopey.
Bob Kevoian
Think of Chick getting well.
Tom Griswold
This is Grumpy.
Bob Kevoian
Well played.
Chick McGee
Nice. Nice. Nice hand.
Bob Kevoian
Two more.
Josh Arnold
Did you say Sneezy?
Tom Griswold
No. Sneezy.
Chick McGee
Sleepy.
Bob Kevoian
I thought you did say Sneezy.
Tom Griswold
Did I say Slee?
Bob Kevoian
You didn't say sleepy.
Chick McGee
Sleazy. One more.
Bob Kevoian
One more. And it doesn't have a Y at the end.
Tom Griswold
Not sleepy.
Bob Kevoian
Maybe that's what.
Chick McGee
Doc.
Bob Kevoian
Doc. There are two that don't have one. Doc.
Chick McGee
And Kevin.
Tom Griswold
Bashful.
Bob Kevoian
Bashful and Kevin.
Josh Arnold
Hey, how are you?
Bob Kevoian
I'm Kevin.
Tom Griswold
I love that. Kevin. Hey, Kevin.
Bob Kevoian
Now, at the risk of sounding like someone here in the room, have they made a adult cinema? Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
Josh Arnold
Probably.
Bob Kevoian
They have. Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Probably. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
You know, in the seven Bridget the midget. Remember her?
Josh Arnold
We do.
Tom Griswold
Who lived.
Bob Kevoian
Oh, Bridget was her neighbor.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. She was a porn star.
Chick McGee
Is it pronounced Martin Kleba. He's a. The actor that. He's a man of small. Of size. Dwarf. He voices Grumpy. He's an advisor to the film. But he's. He says they're not gonna do a red carpet for the film. They don't want to have. They're concerned about it being controversial so they don't want to have.
Bob Kevoian
Really?
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Everybody needs a lighten up.
Tom Griswold
I know.
Chick McGee
And yeah. But yeah, it does look like the dwarves are cgi.
Bob Kevoian
So.
Chick McGee
But it. He's I guess technically a dwarf and he's just one of the voices at least.
Josh Arnold
Oh, okay.
Chick McGee
So. But I don't know if all seven. I doubt if all seven are done by. But yeah. That is putting actors out of work though.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
So.
Bob Kevoian
Well, when they first got the idea that they wanted to do a live action Snow White, it was much like finding the Mercury astronauts. Finding the seven dwarves that they were going to use for the movie.
Chick McGee
Why?
Bob Kevoian
Quite an extensive process that they had to. I didn't think you'd say why. I thought you would be tickled that I was mentioning the Mercury astronauts, but.
Chick McGee
Apparently I ever read the book We7 I missed.
Bob Kevoian
No.
Tom Griswold
There you go.
Josh Arnold
This would be W E E7.
Chick McGee
That is a fine little tapper. And it's a great way to get out of this discussion.
Bob Kevoian
Hey, they're not all home runs.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bob Kevoian
Look, they're not all singles.
Josh Arnold
Hey, you got on base.
Bob Kevoian
I. Yeah. I'm I'm a walk, but I'm on base.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, you advanced the water.
Bob Kevoian
Come on, ducks on the pond. Let's go.
Chick McGee
This looks really good. And Gal Gadot is awesome. Working.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, she does. Look.
Bob Kevoian
Who is she from?
Pat Godwin
Wonder Woman.
Tom Griswold
Wonder Woman.
Bob Kevoian
And it is Gadot, right? Oh, isn't that how she says it? I don't think so.
Chick McGee
She's. It just looks spectacular and evil at the same time.
Josh Arnold
And Snow White is gorgeous too.
Bob Kevoian
Too.
Josh Arnold
It's. It looks cool.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
I don't. I won't. It's not for me. I won't.
Pat Godwin
Do we know Snow White? Is she a famous?
Josh Arnold
I don't know what she's from, but she's cute as hell, so.
Chick McGee
Yeah, I don't. I'm not sure.
Bob Kevoian
I think Harrison Ford and her mother used to sleep together.
Chick McGee
Okay, good. Any more sports?
Bob Kevoian
Are you kidding me? Ms. Sophie Habu h a b b o o says that she's had an orgasm in the gym. What? This is British influencer who's gone viral after claiming she experienced a so called coregasm during a workout.
Josh Arnold
Oh, I planked and then I plotched.
Bob Kevoian
And then she recalled doing an ab workout when she started having an orgasm. Sex researcher Dr. Debbie Herbanick stated that the technical term for this phenomenon is exercise induced orgasm.
Josh Arnold
So it can happen. Wow.
Bob Kevoian
Or E I O. In Snow White, I shot a load across the room.
Chick McGee
E I E I o. She said, pat, you ever have an orgasm at the gym? But that's awkward.
Bob Kevoian
You shoot across the room.
Chick McGee
No, Dr. Herman, I got kicked out of the sauna.
Bob Kevoian
Dr. Herbak continued, About 10% of women experience corgasms which occur from exercises that heavily engage the core abdominal muscles, the pelvic muscles.
Tom Griswold
BS if you can. Never mind. Go ahead.
Pat Godwin
Was there rubbing involved of something?
Bob Kevoian
No.
Tom Griswold
You can squeeze. You can Kegel.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, a good.
Tom Griswold
I don't know if you can eagle an orgasm, but I would think you feel something.
Chick McGee
As Billy Crystal said, I'll. I'll lift what she's lifting. No. Okay.
Josh Arnold
Sorry again.
Chick McGee
I don't believe this.
Tom Griswold
Of course you don't, because you don't.
Josh Arnold
You don't believe in the female organ.
Tom Griswold
Thank you.
Chick McGee
No.
Bob Kevoian
Oh no. He believes in it. He just doesn't care. But I think we're all in that same boat.
Chick McGee
I think it's much more likely there'd be sharding involved.
Josh Arnold
All right.
Tom Griswold
Oh, come on.
Bob Kevoian
You know what? I think he's right. No, I love you've never like bent over and lifted like a bag of dog food, grabbed your face no, that's never happened.
Chick McGee
The technical term is. This sounds like. The technical term is exercise induced orgasm. That's not really all that technical, but it's a.
Tom Griswold
This is a science.
Josh Arnold
Boy, the science you choose to believe.
Tom Griswold
I know.
Chick McGee
Now I know. There is something called the snatch at the gym.
Josh Arnold
Sure.
Chick McGee
And then there's the clean and jerk.
Josh Arnold
Right. There's also just a jerk and just a clean.
Chick McGee
This is the squat and squirt.
Bob Kevoian
You'll hear clean it, jerk it, snatch it.
Chick McGee
You think this is real, Chris?
Tom Griswold
Yes, I believe it could be real.
Josh Arnold
Why wouldn't we trust the one woman in the room?
Tom Griswold
I. I believe it can be real.
Chick McGee
Have you ever experienced it?
Tom Griswold
I have. Not personally.
Bob Kevoian
I'm giggling right now. Anybody else giggling?
Tom Griswold
I'm giggling right now and I'm getting a little tingle.
Chick McGee
I think there may have been an orgasm at the gym when her trainer mounts her.
Tom Griswold
Yikes.
Chick McGee
Okay, okay.
Josh Arnold
A professional doctor said this happened.
Chick McGee
A lot of professional doctors that are quacks.
Bob Kevoian
Well, it does say sex research.
Josh Arnold
They're only quacks when it's convenient to you.
Bob Kevoian
Dr. Debbie Herbert.
Chick McGee
Why would if it was convenient to you, why would I care?
Bob Kevoian
According to Healthline, there are some workouts that might help enhance your chances of arousal during exercise, including crunches, leg lifts, knee lifts, hip thrusts and squats.
Chick McGee
And a great looking trainer that might help. Yeah. Okay. Again, I call bs.
Tom Griswold
All right.
Bob Kevoian
All right.
Josh Arnold
I say good for you, ma'am.
Chick McGee
Christie, survey. Survey your friends.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Bob Kevoian
Nasty food record.
Chick McGee
Are you going or coming to the gym? Both.
Pat Godwin
Can you text one of your friends right now and find out?
Tom Griswold
No.
Pat Godwin
Wake up.
Bob Kevoian
Wake up. Come on. Get him on the blower.
Chick McGee
Thank you very much. Coming up. What do you have over there, Christy?
Tom Griswold
Coming up, we have St. Patrick's Day celebrations. Jesse Eisenberg in the news in a very interesting way. Moms using tele lactation and don't steal my prom dress.
Bob Kevoian
Wait a minute. Is that like teleportation, only they're sending milk?
Tom Griswold
We'll find out.
Josh Arnold
Huh?
Chick McGee
There's a superhero thing.
Josh Arnold
Oh, Kitty.
Bob Kevoian
The milker.
Chick McGee
What? Took the perp town drowned in boob milk. That's all coming up. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
H
Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Catch any part of the show you missed later today on our YouTube channel?
Chick McGee
I think I just won my taxes.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah, I just switched to H and.
Chick McGee
R Block in about one minute.
Tom Griswold
All I had to do was drag.
Chick McGee
And drop last year's return into H and R Block, and bam. My information is automatically there so I.
Bob Kevoian
Don'T have to go digging around for.
Chick McGee
All my old papers to switch. Nope. Sounds like we just leveled up our tax game.
H
Switching to H and R Block is easy.
Chick McGee
Just drag and drop your last return. It's better with block.
Bob Kevoian
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. There's Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk.
Tom Griswold
Happy St. Patrick today, chicky.
Bob Kevoian
Well, happy St. Patrick's Day to you.
Tom Griswold
Thank you.
Bob Kevoian
There's Pat Godwin. Hello. A bona fide Irish guy.
Pat Godwin
My grandparents are from. From there.
Bob Kevoian
Is that right? Your second generation first.
Pat Godwin
Yeah, whatever you call it.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah. There's Josh Arnold.
Josh Arnold
I'm enjoying a java house, medium roast. And I'm considering making it Irish.
Pat Godwin
Irish it up.
Tom Griswold
Irish whiskey, Right?
Josh Arnold
That means pouring Lucky Charms in it, right?
Tom Griswold
Oh, again.
Bob Kevoian
Is it time for the Ace Cosby joke of the day? I'm Chick McGee at the orangeinsouls.com sports desk.
Chick McGee
Ace, is today's joke themed?
Josh Arnold
You'll see. You know, typically, they are. He does a pretty good job.
Chick McGee
Okay, then, I guess. Without any further ado, ladies and gentlemen. Hey, Chick.
Bob Kevoian
Yes, Ace? What do they call the.
Josh Arnold
Never Stop?
Bob Kevoian
What do they call.
Josh Arnold
What do they call a fake diamond in Ireland?
Bob Kevoian
What do they call a fake diamond in Ireland? I don't know. Ace, what do they call it? A shamrock. It's a shamrock, not sham. Wow. Shamrock.
Tom Griswold
Ace's joke of the day, brought to you by Sleep number.
Josh Arnold
That doesn't sound Irish to me, Christy.
Tom Griswold
Sleep better Together. I'm not Irish.
Bob Kevoian
Sleep better.
Tom Griswold
40 on the new Sleep number. Special edition. Smart bed. Yeah, for a limited time. Exc. I can't do that exclusively.
Bob Kevoian
I have trouble with this.
Chick McGee
Just go. And I like it, too.
Tom Griswold
Numbers four. And I like it, too.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
Oh, that's the Irish Spring thing.
Chick McGee
The Irish Spring commercial. Guy takes a knife and cuts into the soap.
Josh Arnold
I love that.
Bob Kevoian
You know, that Irish Spring, it smells good, but a little bit goes a long way. Yeah, right?
Josh Arnold
Yeah, it does smell good.
Tom Griswold
Isn't it used for something? Don't you put it outside?
Bob Kevoian
A lubricant for your.
Tom Griswold
To keep snails away or something?
Chick McGee
What's beer.
Bob Kevoian
No, there is something.
Tom Griswold
There is something.
Bob Kevoian
You're supposed to take a grater out into your yard, and it keeps aphids off your.
Tom Griswold
There you go. I knew it was something. I don't know if that's.
Josh Arnold
But it does. It does attract leprechauns.
Chick McGee
Oh, you Irish Spring.
Bob Kevoian
Y.
Tom Griswold
Yes.
Bob Kevoian
There's something in it that.
Chick McGee
We were talking about the new Snow White movie.
Bob Kevoian
Yes.
Chick McGee
And you said that it's live action, but they don't use actual dwarfs in it.
Josh Arnold
They look to be CGI to me.
Bob Kevoian
I don't know whose faces they're using.
Josh Arnold
Right.
Bob Kevoian
But nowadays you can't tell what CGI and what's not. But apparently everything but their faces is CGI. Yes.
Chick McGee
Okay, now and by.
Bob Kevoian
But they're CGI'd onto the bodies they're using, so I don't. You know what I'm trying to say.
Chick McGee
There's a movie about the recruiting of the seven dwarfs, much like.
Josh Arnold
The Mercury astronauts. Is what Chicken mentioned. Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
Oh, now, Right.
Josh Arnold
Right. Something must.
Bob Kevoian
Did something happen that makes this an actual.
Chick McGee
Yes, dear Bob and Tom, the Wee Wee chick is right. There is a movie. It's called the Short Stuff.
Bob Kevoian
Well, that's not funnier than We We Seven shorts.
Chick McGee
I think the Right Stuff is better. Welcome is more well known than We Seven.
Bob Kevoian
You're the one who taught me about bring it up every week. Sorry, Joshua.
Chick McGee
I read that when I was in the sixth grade.
Bob Kevoian
Josh, you're a great actor. We'd love to have you on the project. But you just don't have the short stuff. Too tall.
Tom Griswold
And I like to pat myself on the back. I was right about the Irish Spring keeping slugs and snails away. It also keeps out deer and rabbits from eating your hostas and stuff like that in your garden.
Chick McGee
Irish Spring?
Tom Griswold
Yes.
Chick McGee
Not any soaps. Has to be Irish Spirit Spring.
Josh Arnold
Tom, are you a the Scent corned beef and cabbage fan?
Chick McGee
I am not.
Josh Arnold
Oh, okay.
Tom Griswold
You don't have any today.
Pat Godwin
Phenomenal.
Chick McGee
I don't.
Bob Kevoian
Here's what I like.
Chick McGee
Corned beef.
Bob Kevoian
I'll have the corned beef. I will not have very much cabbage.
Pat Godwin
Oh, I love it.
Josh Arnold
But you want some?
Bob Kevoian
I will have. I will have a portion of corned beef as big as my head.
Ace Cosby
Love corn beef.
Bob Kevoian
I love corn beef.
Josh Arnold
A little salty, but they have red potatoes in there.
Bob Kevoian
Yes. Oh, yeah.
Pat Godwin
You'd like.
Bob Kevoian
And then you're supposed to put a dime in it. And whoever gets the dime, they win the contest. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
What?
Bob Kevoian
And then if you eat the entire meal and the food's all gone and you can't find the dime until like two or three days later get a pot of gold. That's. That's very fortunate.
Chick McGee
Okay, I'm sorry.
Bob Kevoian
Turns out you shout out the dime.
Josh Arnold
But what if you crap out a nickel and five pennies?
Chick McGee
That's magic trick.
Bob Kevoian
Even more impressive.
Josh Arnold
Stupid.
Chick McGee
That'll get your show in Vegas. Next show 4:00, give or take.
Bob Kevoian
A British speed eater, I say, has broken the Guinness world record for the most gummy worms eaten in 30 seconds.
Josh Arnold
Wow.
Bob Kevoian
Leah. Leah. Leah Shutkever clinched the title.
Chick McGee
Lovely name.
Tom Griswold
Is it a girl or a guy?
Chick McGee
A lady.
Pat Godwin
Charming.
Bob Kevoian
I'd like to tell you about. More about my interest. You know I set a record for the most gummy worms eaten in 30 seconds.
Josh Arnold
Did you?
Bob Kevoian
Yes. I downed four and a half ounces of gummy worms in 30 seconds.
Tom Griswold
That seems like a lot.
Josh Arnold
When are they taking your foot?
Bob Kevoian
That doesn't seem like very many at all.
Chick McGee
Yeah, they're. When are they taking your foot? Thank you, Jack.
Bob Kevoian
Gummy worms are called jelly snakes in the uk. They are not.
Josh Arnold
The story says that. Yeah, jelly snakes.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah, the story.
Tom Griswold
You teased us. Jelly snakes or.
Chick McGee
Yeah, that's the. The headline is jelly snakes.
Josh Arnold
Huh.
Tom Griswold
I'm so disappointed.
Bob Kevoian
Does that mean there's a peanut butter mongoose?
Tom Griswold
I wanted a jelly snake like a jellyfish, like, you know what I mean?
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah.
Chick McGee
And this is on YouTube if you want to watch her downing the jelly snakes.
Josh Arnold
I've never. Is she eating them by the handful or one at a time? Time.
Tom Griswold
Oh, here we go.
Bob Kevoian
There she is.
Pat Godwin
She's a normal size.
Chick McGee
Slurping them in this. Some guy's getting turned on by this.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, me.
Pat Godwin
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
She'S sucking them down.
Tom Griswold
It doesn't seem like she.
Pat Godwin
She's very good.
Chick McGee
And they're more like. She's got to swallow. They're more like snakes.
Bob Kevoian
Everybody shut up. I'm watching this.
Chick McGee
Yeah, they're longer than gummy worms.
Josh Arnold
Oh, boy.
Pat Godwin
Hold it just like that.
Bob Kevoian
Those don't look like American gummy worms.
Chick McGee
It looks like she has to swallow English jelly snakes.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, those are definitely snake length.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
And they're flat. They look like tapeworms.
Pat Godwin
Yeah, she needs to go slower.
Josh Arnold
I.
Bob Kevoian
You know, you could photoshop that poor girl.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, exactly. That poor girl is being photoshopped to hell.
Tom Griswold
That is a meme everywhere.
Chick McGee
Okay. Is that sports?
Josh Arnold
I don't care for gummy worms. Do you guys like them? No, I don't really like any gummy.
Bob Kevoian
No, I don't.
Josh Arnold
I don't like the bears and that stuff.
Bob Kevoian
Nope, don't care for it.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, like Swedish fish.
Bob Kevoian
I'd never heard of Swedish.
Chick McGee
What about the five years ago? What about the cannabis infused. I've never done gummies.
Bob Kevoian
No, I have the.
Tom Griswold
That's a totally different.
Bob Kevoian
The edibles I've had is kind of like bit of honey. Those are really good.
Tom Griswold
I don't mind those gummies, but they're tiny.
Bob Kevoian
You know, like edibles.
Tom Griswold
Very much of them.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. I've never done that.
Bob Kevoian
How many edibles? Are you on an edible right now?
Tom Griswold
Yes. No, I can only do like a quarter.
Bob Kevoian
You do seem higher.
Tom Griswold
Oh. Oh, I'm bad. It's bad.
Bob Kevoian
So you just fall asleep though, right?
Tom Griswold
Yep, I just fall asleep.
Bob Kevoian
Well, you're eight pounds. It's a wonder.
Tom Griswold
God bless you.
Bob Kevoian
No.
Chick McGee
Okay. Is that sports?
Bob Kevoian
Yes. Damn it. I'll leave now. Yes. I'm going away.
Tom Griswold
We need to know.
Chick McGee
You never tell us the parade starts.
Pat Godwin
Tell them from now on.
Tom Griswold
Speaking of parades, the Chicago river was dyed bright green for St. Patrick's Day on Saturday.
Bob Kevoian
And the time lapse photography of it was really cool. I don't know if you got a chance to see that.
Tom Griswold
Thousands lined the river and packed bridges to watch members of the Chicago Journeyman plumbers union local 130.
Bob Kevoian
Hey, don't mess with us.
Tom Griswold
Spray die into the water from boats. Carrying on a tradition that began some 63 years ago. Dubbears the dying immediately preceded the annual downtown St. Patrick's Day parade. Oh, by the way, dye non toxic. The river typically stays bright green for several hours, and then some trace of color can remain for days and at.
Bob Kevoian
Least until all the fish wash up on.
Chick McGee
Last time it was died this much, the Dave Matthews Band was emptying.
Tom Griswold
Oh, there we go.
Chick McGee
Bus tanks over the bridge.
Tom Griswold
A big parade in New York City will be later today. 150,000 participants. 2 million spectators in New York City.
Bob Kevoian
150,000 participants in the parade.
Tom Griswold
Fifth Avenue.
Josh Arnold
Crazy. Love a parade.
Bob Kevoian
The sound of the band kicking their legs.
Tom Griswold
Do you love a parade, Tom?
Bob Kevoian
Sure.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Chick McGee
The July 4th parade. All the time.
Tom Griswold
All right.
Bob Kevoian
What day is that on?
Chick McGee
Well, unlike the Chicago parade, they do it on the appropriate day. July 4th.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Josh Arnold
All right.
Chick McGee
It's always fun. Politicians go by in a convertible and.
Bob Kevoian
Yes, I know.
Josh Arnold
Not always.
Chick McGee
I often boo and I go, kennedy.
Bob Kevoian
Should have put the bubble top St.
Chick McGee
Patrick's don't take a left at the book Depository, you idiot.
Bob Kevoian
A couple cities, it was Friday. Yeah, I didn't even wait till Saturday.
Tom Griswold
That's right.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah. The coldest I've ever been. I was in the St. Patrick's Day parade. I don't remember what year it was. Come on, it'll be fun. You go down there. Nothing about it's fun. You know, we're gonna throw green bagels from the. Doesn't that sound like fun? No, it sounds like a nightmare there. If you Eat. Come on. We'll all be there. It'll be fun.
Chick McGee
If you eat the green. Green bagels. Do they cause a problem?
Josh Arnold
Yeah, they might cause real black stools.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah, yeah. All the all.
Chick McGee
I love that band. Black stool.
Bob Kevoian
You know what else you'll love?
Tom Griswold
What?
Bob Kevoian
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Chick McGee
Thank you very much, Chick McGee. Get in your picks. Right now it's our Bob and Tom basketball Mayhem bracket contest. Just go to bobandtom.com contest. It's brought to you by Orange Insoles. You're shot at a million bucks so put on your thinking cap and check this out. Once again, it's bobandtom.com contest brought to you by Orange Insoles. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Hi, this is Jevon, your blinds.com design consultant.
Tom Griswold
Oh wow, a real person.
Chick McGee
Yep. I'm here to help with everything from.
Bob Kevoian
Selecting the perfect window treatments to.
Tom Griswold
Well, I've got a complicated project.
Bob Kevoian
No problem.
Chick McGee
I can even help schedule a professional measuring install.
Josh Arnold
We can also send you samples fast and free.
Chick McGee
Hmm, I just might have to do more.
Bob Kevoian
Whatever you need. So the first room we're looking at.
Tom Griswold
Is for shop blinds.com now and save up to 45% site wide. Blinds.com rules and restrictions may apply.
Bob Kevoian
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Hello, hello, hello. There's Ace Cosby.
Josh Arnold
Top of the morning. Yeah.
Chick McGee
There we go.
Bob Kevoian
I love you, Ace Arnold. Hello, hello. Pat Godwin.
Pat Godwin
Hello.
Bob Kevoian
I've got a. I've got a yen. I've got a hankering. I'm, I'm pining.
Josh Arnold
You got a hunger for a hunk of cheese Poor.
Bob Kevoian
That was a cowboy, right? Yes, for some reason. A Pat Godwin song. I'd like to hear it.
Tom Griswold
I thought we were going to hear Hotel Sex.
Bob Kevoian
Christy Lee.
Pat Godwin
We went past that and we moved on, apparently.
Chick McGee
An Irish feel.
Bob Kevoian
Auto parts.
Pat Godwin
See, he wants an Irish feel song, so we're gonna give him a real good one.
Bob Kevoian
All right, all right.
Pat Godwin
Here we go. People often ask me, who's my favorite bartender? A man you can count on when you're going on a bender. Who makes the strongest cocktail with no prissy lemon twist? Who's the most potent mixologist? I go to Chick Magee, the generous poor and buy a quart out a tree. I'm not stressed out anymore. At 10:15, there's an Uber at the door. I Chick Magi with a generous pour.
Josh Arnold
Ah.
Pat Godwin
Chick Magee has a very heavy hand. He practically drinks the bottle of your favorite vodka brand. He doesn't like the small talk. He just pours your favorite beer. If you strike up a conversation he'll pretend not to hear. I go to Chick Maggie with the generous poor Artie at Applebee's says I can't go there anymore. She Chick will give you grapes and little lights by the scar. What a Chick Maggie with the generous poor.
Chick McGee
Thank you very much.
Bob Kevoian
Just leave the bottle.
Chick McGee
Okay. Thank you very much. We now turn to the Silac Insurance news desk, starring Christy Lee.
Tom Griswold
Why, thank you. We switch from Ireland to Poland. Poland's prime minister has offered actor director Jesse Eisenberg military training that he says would land him the role of the new James Bond.
Josh Arnold
Oh, that's fun. He was just given Polish citizenship.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Earlier this month, Poland's president conferred the country's citizenship on Mr. Eisenberg, who has Polish heritage. The news was brought up during Mr. Eisenberg's appearance on NBC's the Tonight show, wherein he joked about Poland requiring, quote, all males to participate in military training. The Polish Prime Minister, Donald Tusk, reacted to the clip over the weekend, noting, hello, that's right.
Bob Kevoian
I'm Donald Tusk.
Josh Arnold
Ignore these.
Bob Kevoian
Ignore my Tusk.
Tom Griswold
Military training is voluntary in Poland and added, quote, so come over to Poland and we'll give you such a training that the new James Bond role. Well, it's yours. All right, Jesse.
Chick McGee
That'd be great. I mean, nice to see 007 not get laid in a movie.
Bob Kevoian
I can't think of. Of anyone more miscast as 007 than Jesse Eisenberg.
Chick McGee
I think he's fully aware of that.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Yeah, he's great though.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, he's.
Chick McGee
I like.
Bob Kevoian
I like the Social Network.
Chick McGee
He'd be a terrific evil genius.
Bob Kevoian
He played Lex Luthor. Yeah. Of one of them.
Chick McGee
He'd be perfect for that.
Bob Kevoian
The Batman. Super.
Chick McGee
Did they give him a bowling shirt when he got the citizenship?
Tom Griswold
I don't know what they did.
Josh Arnold
But the Polish military. Quite, quite good. Yeah. I remember watching the members of the air force climb into a submarine. Their uniforms were.
Bob Kevoian
That's right.
Josh Arnold
Very striking.
Bob Kevoian
Resplendent.
Pat Godwin
Polish navy flew planes.
Bob Kevoian
Is that what we're gonna do?
Tom Griswold
Oh, wait a minute. Our navy has planes.
Chick McGee
Right.
Josh Arnold
That's why I went the way I did.
Tom Griswold
A man in Florida is in custody for allegedly not paying for lap dances. 39 year old John Albertson received several lap dances at the Rain Ladies and Gents in Clearwater. But when he was presented with the tab, the man, quote, notified the business he did not have the funds to pay tab.
Josh Arnold
How does this place work?
Chick McGee
Is it usually.
Josh Arnold
I don't know, it's usually you pay before they even start giving you a lap dance.
Tom Griswold
The lap dances were worth $160 and according to officers, were, quote, the property of Rain, ladies and gents, and therefore charged the man with theft gift.
Chick McGee
What's his name?
Pat Godwin
Josh, is it? 160.
Josh Arnold
That.
Bob Kevoian
That one lap dance when you got the amazing Several.
Tom Griswold
Lap dance.
Bob Kevoian
Lap dance. The lap dance of a lifetime.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
Can you remember how much that cost?
Josh Arnold
Hundreds of dollars.
Bob Kevoian
Hundreds.
Josh Arnold
I was in there for 20 minutes.
Bob Kevoian
20 minutes.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. And it was. It was like $30 a song now.
Bob Kevoian
And you said that she wasn't gonna let you out of there until everything.
Josh Arnold
That's what she said to me. And that was one of the reasons I wrapped up, is because she said that to me.
Bob Kevoian
Tom, I know that. I can see how uncomfortable you are just hearing, but this happens. Josh is an adult man chose to have this, and it was awesome.
Josh Arnold
Mid 20s.
Tom Griswold
You didn't feel like you were extorted?
Josh Arnold
No, no, not at all.
Bob Kevoian
Okay, so did you just keep putting hundreds in her hand?
Josh Arnold
She walked away the most prolific top porn stars of her age.
Tom Griswold
Oh, so it wasn't.
Josh Arnold
If you find Shila Stiles, Jason, and you want to show them a photo of her, just ignore her. But you, you obituary, you did pay, yo.
Chick McGee
Yeah, unlike this guy that did the gash and dash, which I'm. It's like the dine and dash.
Bob Kevoian
What was it? What was it?
Chick McGee
Tom, Gash and dash. That's. I'm not. I would never do this. Of course it's.
Josh Arnold
Oh, you're missing.
Chick McGee
I find it really.
Josh Arnold
A good lap dance is a work of art.
Chick McGee
No, thank you. But I didn't realize. So one does.
Bob Kevoian
I don't think I. I don't think I could.
Chick McGee
One does Pay in advance. That's how that works.
Bob Kevoian
I'm too sensitive.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. I guess I've had it where it's been. You pay per. Like as you go. And then I guess I've also had it where it's like.
Chick McGee
Would you give a. You put a credit card down?
Josh Arnold
No, it was all cash. At least when I went, so.
Bob Kevoian
Holy heck.
Josh Arnold
Oh, there was a time in my twenties I would gladly overdraft my account at an atm at a strip club. Didn't care, really. Yeah, yeah, it.
Chick McGee
Was it the alcohol or just the.
Josh Arnold
A mix of. Yeah, a mix of Harney and. And booze, I guess. And, you know, being 20. Whatever.
Pat Godwin
You know, you can meet actual women and places and ask them out on dates and.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah, but you can't get a lap dance.
Josh Arnold
Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I spent less money doing it the way I did it.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Pat Godwin
You know, you make a good point.
Josh Arnold
There she is. There's old Shila.
Pat Godwin
Holy.
Tom Griswold
Oh, my gosh.
Josh Arnold
Oh, boy. It was.
Chick McGee
Is she still active in the world?
Tom Griswold
She's died.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Bob Kevoian
Didn't you hear him? You didn't hear him say, ignore the obituary?
Chick McGee
I didn't. I'm sorry, I. Oh, dear.
Josh Arnold
We hardly knew you.
Chick McGee
Sh.
Tom Griswold
Oh, dear.
Chick McGee
Was it at least a pleasant way to go?
Josh Arnold
No.
Chick McGee
Oh, that's just not.
Bob Kevoian
You got trapped in the gears of a combo.
Tom Griswold
That's tough.
Josh Arnold
Incredibly, a Canadian gal.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
Oh, is she froze. She froze to death in a combine.
Josh Arnold
She drowned in syrup.
Chick McGee
Oh, sweet.
Bob Kevoian
Oh, this is good.
Chick McGee
Got that going for her. Certainly. If you're just joining us, maybe finish real hard. We hope you're gonna stay.
Bob Kevoian
Maybe finish real hard.
Chick McGee
If you're just joining us, we are the Bob and Tom show coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Hey.
Tom Griswold
Hi.
Chick McGee
Look, there's Christy Lee over there at the Silac Insurance news desk. Anything else in the news, Christy?
Josh Arnold
Would you ever be interested.
Tom Griswold
Were your pants still on?
Josh Arnold
Yeah. Oh, yeah. I soiled myself. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Bob Kevoian
But was it. Were they jeans or sweatpants?
Josh Arnold
They were shorts.
Pat Godwin
Shorts.
Chick McGee
I just changed the topic and I.
Josh Arnold
Had to walk out and the strip club was black lit to hell, so there's not a person in there that didn't know what happened happened.
Bob Kevoian
Really?
Josh Arnold
Yeah. And I, I. And I swear I was sober. This was a sober occasion, because I wanted to. And I didn't care. Didn't care at all.
Bob Kevoian
Even. Even after the.
Josh Arnold
No regrets.
Tom Griswold
You are something.
Pat Godwin
You left the building, though, right? You didn't sit down like that.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. I walked up to my buddy who was just watching a regular strip.
Tom Griswold
Right.
Bob Kevoian
Right.
Josh Arnold
And.
Bob Kevoian
And it really.
Josh Arnold
And he looked at those.
Bob Kevoian
Those were just for the regular people. You were above them.
Josh Arnold
And he looked at me and he goes, you want to go? I go, yeah, man. Let's get out of here.
Bob Kevoian
Wow.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Chick McGee
We have. It's time then. We have a tribute to this sort of thing.
Bob Kevoian
Oh, really? Yes.
Chick McGee
From Rodney Carrington.
Bob Kevoian
Rodney Carrington is our guest.
Ace Cosby
I was in Orlando, Florida, here recently. I went to Disney world. I spent $3,000. I stood in line for 14 hours and rode three rights.
Bob Kevoian
Wow.
Ace Cosby
Not real sure, but I think I got screwed on that deal. I was a little sore when I left the Magic Kingdom that afternoon. Also went to a little. Can you say bar?
Chick McGee
No. Yeah.
Ace Cosby
We went to a place down there called the Booby Trap. Oh, yeah, that's exactly what the hell that was. A booby trap. And I tell you, I've never been so happy to see a place in all my life. The building is in the shape of two big old boobies, and it's like a Wizard of Oz for grown men, you know? We pulled up to it. I just got out of the truck. I skipped up to the door. Little midget answered. He said, can I help you? I said, we here to see the Wizard.
Chick McGee
Is she here?
Ace Cosby
Oh, my God. She was, too. She had two big old friends with her. And I kind of like that, you know? I tell you, you know, one thing you can't do is lie to your woman when you've been to a bar.
Bob Kevoian
You can't do it.
Ace Cosby
You can't do it. Where you been, bar?
Bob Kevoian
How many.
Ace Cosby
How much money did you spend? $9,000.
Josh Arnold
Where's the car?
Ace Cosby
They got that, too. Where's your clothes?
Chick McGee
Hell, I don't know.
Bob Kevoian
Who's she?
Ace Cosby
Hell, I thought she was you. You become dumber than hell, don't you? Then later on, it'll all clear off. You know, y'all be laying in bed together and she'll ask you, well, did you like it? Oh, God, no. It was awful. Big, tall, blonde, big women. I damn near threw up. Whole time I was in there, I.
Bob Kevoian
Was thinking about you. You, I love you baby.
Ace Cosby
I got a place where I live in Tulsa. There a bar that'll come get you if you need a ride. They got like a little truck, got two big old on top sirens. They'll pull up in your driveway.
Tom Griswold
Truck.
Ace Cosby
No, no, she's here.
Christy Lee
Pull around the block and I'll run through the house.
Chick McGee
And that. That bar has been taken down.
Tom Griswold
That sure has.
Chick McGee
The Booby Trap Lounge. It was very accurate. It was. It looked like two giant.
Tom Griswold
Right off the freeway too, if I remember.
Chick McGee
Giant boots.
Tom Griswold
See it?
Chick McGee
Very accurate. One of them slightly larger than the other. They really thought. We have Christy Lee once again at the SILAC Insurance news desk.
Tom Griswold
Three young women are in custody after a prom dress exchange in Georgia ended with a teen getting body slammed. According to wagatv, the incident occurred at a gas station in Gwinnett county where the 18 year old victim met her former friend to sell a prom dress.
Chick McGee
See, right there you got the biggest problem. What, at a gas station?
Tom Griswold
Well, maybe it's conveniently located.
Chick McGee
I get all my formal wear at a gas station.
Tom Griswold
Well, she's.
Chick McGee
Do you have any cummerbunds? Let's say get her done.
Josh Arnold
Were they just at the gas station?
Tom Griswold
No, they met at the gas station so that the woman could give her the prom dress to see if it would fit.
Josh Arnold
Oh, this is sort of like a. Like a.
Tom Griswold
Two women went into the gas station bathroom to try the dress on when a third woman grabbed the dress and ran off. Police said the victim ran outside, was surrounded by three women leading to a fight. Surveillance footage from the gas station showed the victim flipping one of the suspects to the ground after her neck had been grabbed. The teen faces charges of battery and theft. Don't steal my prom dress.
Josh Arnold
No way.
Tom Griswold
No.
Chick McGee
If I were the judge, I think the penalty would be having them use their mug shots in the senior yearbook. They're quite pretty. Yeah. Here are the pictures of all three of them.
Tom Griswold
I saw the video over the weekend. Yeah, you know, it's tough.
Josh Arnold
Yikes.
Chick McGee
What a weird thing to happen.
Tom Griswold
Well, I can see if. If you have two people that she wants to buy the prom dress and you meet in a convenient location that makes sense for her to try it on.
Josh Arnold
You don't want a rando, though, to steal it and try to run off.
Tom Griswold
You don't want somebody to come to your home that you've never met before that's going to come in.
Chick McGee
No, I understand. I get the third. I see. But are they all good? Do they all go to the same school?
Tom Griswold
I don't know any of the answers to those questions. Have you ever been inside a gas station?
Chick McGee
Of course.
Tom Griswold
It's been a while, hasn't it?
Chick McGee
Again, I get all my formal wear. Like I said. Where do you think I got the get her done cummerbund?
Bob Kevoian
Do you go into a convenience store when you're getting gas? You let the gas run into your car, or do you have to stand there?
Chick McGee
And you're not supposed to leave.
Pat Godwin
You had to go in when we were together, when we went to us.
Bob Kevoian
I always go in while the gas is going.
Tom Griswold
You're not supposed to do that.
Josh Arnold
Same here.
Chick McGee
I do it all the time.
Bob Kevoian
I do it all.
Josh Arnold
I used to. And I got yelled at.
Tom Griswold
So did I. Man, I had no idea until he yelled at me that it was illegal to do that.
Bob Kevoian
And if I get yelled at, I go back and steal ice and then drive.
Tom Griswold
Good to know the ice is bags of ice. Not just.
Bob Kevoian
No, no ice.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Bob Kevoian
A cup of ice from the drink machine. No, bag of ice.
Chick McGee
Just put it in your pocket. So you look right up there. You put the ice in your pockets. You look like Josh at the strip club.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
They're daring you to take the ice bags right there.
Josh Arnold
They're daring you to take a lot. Firewood.
Bob Kevoian
Yes.
Josh Arnold
Bottles of water. You know, cases.
Tom Griswold
Right now it's gonna be mulch. Watch out.
Chick McGee
You get arrested and you. You.
Josh Arnold
It's entrapment. Really?
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
Hey, Tom, you know how we were joking about me stealing stuff? Can you post my bed?
Chick McGee
I just lost my ash cherry.
Bob Kevoian
I was worried.
Tom Griswold
It is all about the butt with him today, isn't it?
Bob Kevoian
Jeez. What? What did I tell you? You need to go back and listen to. What was that?
Chick McGee
Oh, yeah, the diddler guy up in the ash.
Pat Godwin
No, the bear.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. Halfway up.
Bob Kevoian
Oh, that' do you use a knife.
Josh Arnold
Or do you climb into the anus?
Chick McGee
No, in the ass. I want to hear that hair question. I want to hear the diddlers again when we get a chance.
Bob Kevoian
Coming back with them, baby.
Chick McGee
Right now I want to talk about the serious business of your head. I'm talking about getting some help. That's where better help comes in. It's all about accessing therapy in a much more elegant and easier way. If you've been kind of hesitant to do therapy, you're thinking, I don't know. I don't know how to find a therapist. I don't want to go into some room with someone I don't know and have to talk to them with better help. It's all done. Online, including the therapy, so you can work on yourself. And you're, it's just a lot more convenient. You can do it anywhere you want. So you set up the time and the place is all up to you with better help so you can shift your focus in your life. Maybe you're too busy doing everything and you really need to talk through some stuff with someone who can be helpful for you. And BetterHelp has some 30,000 plus credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties. You go online, you take a little questionnaire, you fill it out and you'll be hooked up with a therapist. By the way, you can switch therapists anytime at no additional fee. Some 5 million people worldwide are taking advantage of BetterHelp. So if you want to work on your life inventory, work on some things you're trying to get through. Maybe it's relationship issues. Whatever it might be, BetterHelp may be able to help you. So to get all the information, you go to betterhelp.com and if you add the BTShowpart, that'll cut 10% off the fees for your first month. That's betterhelp.com BTShow betterhelp H E L P betterhelp.com BTShow therapy isn't just for massive trauma. It can be just helping you out in your day to day life. So give it a shot. And once again, it's a lot more convenient because the therapy is done online. And by the way, it can be done with the camera on, it can be done with a camera off, it can be done texting back and forth. It's up to you. It's all about convenience and helping you. So give it a shot. Once again, betterhelp.com BTShow coming up, we have perhaps one of the most unusual records. The conveyor belts world record.
Tom Griswold
Oh, no.
Chick McGee
I know for the longest you were thinking of getting out of getting out of your car and going into work.
Josh Arnold
No, no, no.
Chick McGee
I want to hear this. No, you don't want to hear about it.
Josh Arnold
I'm excited.
Chick McGee
Okay, good.
Josh Arnold
Makes me think of the Jetsons conveyor belts where he would just stand there still sleeping and get showered and dressed.
Bob Kevoian
Let me off this crazy thing.
Chick McGee
Also, we have an escape gorilla.
Josh Arnold
Oh, we should have led with that.
Chick McGee
Now we're talking. Okay, we're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom show.
H
Just got to get a hold of us. Call, fax, mail or email, get all the contact information you need@bobandtom.com. this is the Bob and Tom Show.
Bob Kevoian
This episode is brought to you by Lifelock. It's tax season and we're all a.
Chick McGee
Bit tired of numbers, but here's one you need to hear. $16.5 billion.
Bob Kevoian
That's how much the IRS flagged for possible identity fraud last year.
Chick McGee
Year.
Bob Kevoian
Now, here's a good number. 100 million. That's how many data points Lifelock monitors every second. If your identity is stolen, they'll fix it, guaranteed. Save up to 40% your first year@lifelock.com podcast terms apply.
Chick McGee
Running.
Bob Kevoian
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Pat Godwin's here.
Pat Godwin
Hello.
Bob Kevoian
Gonna sing a song for us here anytime.
Pat Godwin
Very nice.
Bob Kevoian
There's Christy Lee.
Tom Griswold
Hey.
Josh Arnold
Hello.
Bob Kevoian
Josh Arnold.
Josh Arnold
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Bob Kevoian
Yes. There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick McGee. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Here's Tom.
Chick McGee
We certainly are. And thank you very much. We're going to catch up with more news items from Christy Lee at the SILAC Insurance news desk. What's happening?
Tom Griswold
Well, I'll do a quick story, but then maybe we should take a look at history. On this date. The longest conveyor belt in the United States. I didn't want to leave you hanging on that tease.
Bob Kevoian
All right.
Tom Griswold
Is being employed to move sand in Texas. Atlas Energy solutions installed the 42 mile long conveyor belt.
Chick McGee
42 miles.
Josh Arnold
Whoa.
Tom Griswold
To transport millions of tons of sand for hydraulic fracturing from, of course, a.
Bob Kevoian
Desert type setting to 42 miles away where it will be pounded up someone's ass.
Tom Griswold
Dubbed the Dune Express, it runs from Kermit, Texas all the way across state borders into the. Into Lee county, which is in New Mexico.
Bob Kevoian
New Mexico.
Josh Arnold
I'd like to ride on it.
Tom Griswold
Would you?
Josh Arnold
Yeah. 42 miles.
Bob Kevoian
I wonder how fast it goes.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Well, how long it'd take you.
Josh Arnold
Right.
Chick McGee
That's gonna be.
Bob Kevoian
How could that.
Chick McGee
Several days, I assume.
Bob Kevoian
Well, you'd have to have a 42 mile long belt. Right.
Josh Arnold
Or a series of belts. Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
Oh, no. Sand.
Josh Arnold
The sand would go through. You're right. Right.
Bob Kevoian
We. This better not be you and your world records. And how it's not.
Chick McGee
That's not the biggest in the world.
Tom Griswold
No. The biggest in the world was seen by NASA's Earth Observatory, allegedly believed to be the world's longest conveyor at 61 miles. And it carries phosphorus from a mine in Western Sahara on the northwest coast of Africa.
Josh Arnold
No, it doesn't.
Bob Kevoian
What are they using?
Tom Griswold
No, it doesn't.
Bob Kevoian
What are they using phosphorus for?
Josh Arnold
Exactly. That's why I'm saying. Saying. Yeah. NASA's just making stuff awesome.
Bob Kevoian
It makes stuff glow or something.
Josh Arnold
NASA just pads their books.
Bob Kevoian
We gotta. We gotta ship this phosphorus to a poster store. So some.
Chick McGee
Now the one in. The one in Texas is just. Where are they getting the sand? And from the sand ground and would you say it's Kermit.
Tom Griswold
Kermit Texas.
Chick McGee
Kermit, Texas.
Tom Griswold
Yes.
Chick McGee
Taking the sand 42 miles away. What's it for?
Tom Griswold
The sand helps keep the holes open as water, oil and gas flow through it. Because they're fracking.
Josh Arnold
Hey, Tom. What's green and smells like God? What are we doing here?
Pat Godwin
What happened?
Bob Kevoian
What's green? It smells like pork.
Chick McGee
Tom, as sand flows through the conveyor belt, so are. So are the days of our lives. Wait a minute. That's not how it goes, is it? No, that's through the Sands of Time.
Josh Arnold
Playing at the Phantom.
Bob Kevoian
I don't know why did they make worse than go to the trouble of recording that.
Josh Arnold
The cat's on the organ. Go ahead and record that.
Bob Kevoian
Come here, kitty. Get down.
Chick McGee
Green, blue, purple.
Josh Arnold
You know it sounds like it. Didn't Carol Burnett have like a fake soap opera and that. And this was very similar to that.
Bob Kevoian
As the earth turns or something.
Josh Arnold
As the stomach turns.
Bob Kevoian
As the stomach turns.
Chick McGee
Oh God.
Bob Kevoian
That's exactly right. Yep.
Chick McGee
I'm trying to figure out how this thing works. I mean it can't. They can't have a 42 mile belt.
Bob Kevoian
My point is it better all be one piece instead of when you have a nine foot sub and they're just nine foot long.
Josh Arnold
And really it needs to be an 84 foot at least belt. Right. So that it goes under as well. Last time I saw a belt that big it was on Orson Welles.
Chick McGee
He's fat.
Bob Kevoian
Thanks for inviting me.
Chick McGee
Who would you have gone with in the contemporary world? Can you. Is there a go to now that is.
Bob Kevoian
Well, I'd be fat shaming. I don't think we do that.
Tom Griswold
We don't do that.
Chick McGee
So you can fat shame the dead.
Josh Arnold
That's right.
Bob Kevoian
Sure. Yeah. What's he gonna do?
Chick McGee
Marlon Brando in the Missouri breaks that poor horse.
Bob Kevoian
Hang on a second.
Josh Arnold
Was you the name of the horse.
Bob Kevoian
Was your idea of updating Orson Welles? Go to Marlon Brando in the Missouri breaks the criteria.
Chick McGee
They had to be dead.
Josh Arnold
Who is like a real big fat guy that we could.
Tom Griswold
He's gotten skinny. I can't think of any Ozempic.
Josh Arnold
Well, or you don't even really consider like. I don't you know, if I've heard to say Kevin James. It's not.
Tom Griswold
It's just not funny. He's like normal guy from Lost, but.
Pat Godwin
I don't even know his name.
Josh Arnold
Oh, Jorge something. Yeah, okay.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah. Jorge Gord, I think.
Josh Arnold
El Gordo.
Chick McGee
Wow.
Bob Kevoian
There you go.
Chick McGee
So sorry.
Bob Kevoian
He's on that. The bookie show. You're right.
Chick McGee
Christy, you want to do it today in History?
Tom Griswold
Yeah, I do.
Bob Kevoian
Okay, well, we can until we find the music.
Pat Godwin
I hope it's that organ again.
Bob Kevoian
There it is. Wait a minute. Yeah, let's try. Hit your. Hit that organ again, Tom. I'm now for today in History.
Tom Griswold
It was a sad day.
Bob Kevoian
Look back at March 17, St. Patrick's Day of the past. On the Order, host Tom Gris on the organ.
Josh Arnold
Who?
Bob Kevoian
Her host, Tom Griswold on the organ. Sheds a light on Patrick's Day 5, 10 years ago. Who knows?
Chick McGee
Famous Irishman born in this state in 1919.
Josh Arnold
Rob Roy.
Chick McGee
Nat King Cole.
Bob Kevoian
Does he have a St. Patrick's Day song?
Tom Griswold
Nat King.
Josh Arnold
He may have done two.
Bob Kevoian
Ra.
Josh Arnold
Lura. Lura.
Chick McGee
Did he ride bicycle built for two?
Josh Arnold
I don't know.
Bob Kevoian
I think he did. You think his dog's name was King?
Josh Arnold
I hope.
Bob Kevoian
Nat King Colon. King anything.
Chick McGee
That'd be a.
Bob Kevoian
Is that anything?
Chick McGee
Obviously he just said. You just said Nat King Cole. That'd be a very awkward commercial. Awkward commercial for Colegard. And now that King Golden.
Bob Kevoian
What did he do? How did he die?
Chick McGee
Smoking.
Bob Kevoian
Smoking? Was it?
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
Emphysema.
Chick McGee
I think so.
Josh Arnold
Okay, well, he died in a Nat King coal mine.
Bob Kevoian
That's the sound working at the Nat King Co.
Pat Godwin
I remember the wake. It was unforgettable.
Bob Kevoian
SNS roasting on.
Chick McGee
Okay, let's see. Happy Birthday. The fine musician Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins.
Bob Kevoian
I found like four or five pumpkin songs just recently. I absolutely adore.
Chick McGee
Have you no idea? He's touring this summer with Gallagher.
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah.
Chick McGee
Smashing watermelons and pumpkins. Oh, wait a minute.
Bob Kevoian
That is like a. That's like a. A joke day at the middle school. Someone could come up with.
Chick McGee
Okay, now this one is. I can. We can tie this to a story in the News. Born in 1979, Samoa Joe. And have you heard about the controversy about the Girl Scout cookies?
Bob Kevoian
Who's Samoa Joe?
Tom Griswold
I don't know who Samoa Joe is.
Chick McGee
A WWE wrestler.
Tom Griswold
Oh, no. What's the controversy? Those are my Samoans or Samoas or my favorite.
Chick McGee
Someone is suing the Girl Scouts because of the name? No, because of. Well, I'll. I'll dig the Story up? Yeah, it's kind of, you know, like.
Bob Kevoian
Three of the Girl Scout cookies are like, I don't know, 600 calories. It's nuts how. How fattening they are, but they're so good.
Chick McGee
Now, on this date in 461. Pat, what happened in Ireland in 461?
Pat Godwin
Was it the snakes?
Chick McGee
No, St. Patrick died.
Tom Griswold
Whoa. He died on St. Patrick's Day?
Josh Arnold
He was bitten by snake.
Tom Griswold
I thought he ran.
Bob Kevoian
What about, you know, cirrhosis of the liver, Right?
Josh Arnold
Oh, absolutely.
Chick McGee
This is interesting. And this is in 1601. Seems a little early. The first St. Patrick's Day parade was held in where?
Tom Griswold
New York City.
Chick McGee
St. Augustine, Florida.
Bob Kevoian
Yep, that's what I was going to guess.
Pat Godwin
St. Augustine, Florida.
Tom Griswold
Really?
Chick McGee
Weird.
Bob Kevoian
It's our oldest city.
Chick McGee
Is that a typo?
Bob Kevoian
That can't.
Josh Arnold
That doesn't seem right at all.
Chick McGee
I thought Jamestown was like 1607 or something. Well, I'll. I'll dig that up.
Bob Kevoian
1620 was Mayflower, right? Is that right?
Chick McGee
Maybe the natives had a celebration.
Tom Griswold
Maybe.
Josh Arnold
Maybe St. Patrick's Day.
Chick McGee
Sure.
Bob Kevoian
What did the. What did the drum say?
Chick McGee
They heard about it.
Bob Kevoian
We must celebrate St. Patrick's Day.
Chick McGee
Hey, you're not wearing green, Floyd. What the hell's going on?
Bob Kevoian
Who the hell is St. Patrick?
Josh Arnold
Who's Floyd? I don't know, but the smoke says we need to eat corned beef.
Bob Kevoian
What are you looking at? Over there.
Chick McGee
There. I'm sorry. And finally, in 1973, Queen Elizabeth opened the New London Bridge.
Bob Kevoian
Yes, the other one fell down. No matter how my kings, my man and my horses, they couldn't put his back together.
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah.
Chick McGee
Madam.
Josh Arnold
That was Humpty Dumpty.
Chick McGee
So once again, we are in the Aurelioto Part studios. And this is the Bob and Tom Show.
H
This is the Bob and Tom Show. Text us us at 888-26-2866. One more. Bob and Tom. Next, no Contest Wrestling, where O'Shea Jackson Jr. And TJ Jefferson bring their hot takes with the biggest names in the game.
Bob Kevoian
Ladies and gentlemen, broad breaker, my aspirations in life. I always wanted to be a WWE superstar.
H
The prodigy Roxanne Perez. I gotta talk about the Hugger Cosplay.
Tom Griswold
I mean, it was perfect, wasn't it?
Chick McGee
La Knight.
Josh Arnold
What am I doing here?
H
I can retire. See, everybody, the no Contest Wrestling Podcast, part of the Rich Eisen Podcast Network. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.
Chick McGee
That was a good one.
Bob Kevoian
Red haired nutsack.
Chick McGee
Can't get a better one. Can't get a better one than that.
Bob Kevoian
Hey, welcome back to The Bob and Tom show. At the Silac Insurance news desk, it's Christy Lee.
Tom Griswold
Howdy.
Bob Kevoian
I would like to say that the rest of the show I'm doing under protest.
Josh Arnold
Really?
Bob Kevoian
Because Christy is wearing a brown sweatshirt and no one has made fun of her.
Tom Griswold
I think it's rose brown. It's not really brown.
Bob Kevoian
Tom has not said your shirt looks like a baby crap.
Chick McGee
Not unless the baby's bleeding. It's kind of a reddish rose brown.
Josh Arnold
Bloody stool.
Chick McGee
Could we go to go to the big.
Tom Griswold
Who's on the big screen? Reno. Reno, save us.
Chick McGee
Look at that beer.
Christy Lee
My friends.
Chick McGee
Starting. What's going on? Starting to jut out.
Tom Griswold
Whoa.
Christy Lee
Yeah, it. Dude, I, I had. It was supposed to be a nine and a half hour drive yesterday from Florida and it turned into 12 and a half and. Oh, dude, I just.
Bob Kevoian
Boy, nobody puts it like you do.
Chick McGee
You know what I mean?
Bob Kevoian
Oh, yeah.
Christy Lee
It's all almost poetic, I have to say. It's just a explanation of words, Sal.
Josh Arnold
I.
Christy Lee
When I wrote this country fried take, I was still like, thought I was crammed up in a construction zone in Chattanooga. But every. Everybody from Florida left spring break, so traffic was freaking brutal. Atlanta sucks, man.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. There's no good time to drive through Atlanta.
Chick McGee
Yeah. And spring break is about a five week span now.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, that's true.
Chick McGee
It's all different for everybody, so. Yeah, I think the, I think last week may have been the official first week of spring break for some.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
But it's, it's, it's, it'll be spread out now, so. Well, we're glad you made it safely, Reno. Thank you, buddy. Celebrate St. Patrick's Day at your place?
Christy Lee
Yeah, I go to an AA meeting and I throw green stuff out the window while I'm driving.
Pat Godwin
I don't know.
Christy Lee
We're gonna make Reuben. Oh, it's one of our little tradition Jewish sandwich.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, but it has corned beef on it.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
All right, fine.
Pat Godwin
Abomination.
Josh Arnold
Shut up, Pat.
Bob Kevoian
It's.
Christy Lee
I. Oh, I forgot. You're a little freaking guitar playing leprechaun. Which one should I eat? Lucky Charms.
Pat Godwin
If you want to. I mean. Corned beef.
Bob Kevoian
You asked for it. They can't tell a Jewish from an Irish. Come on, Reuben sandwich is Jewish.
Chick McGee
And you, Evelyn. Ulysses, the main character, of course, Leopold Bloom. Never mind. Let's get back to it. Do you have a country fried take for us, Reno, that you wrote while in a daze?
Christy Lee
I wrote it while I was a little. I was flipping out a little bit. So around here, spring break is over. And here comes graduation time for all the families of graduates to get ready for all the exhausting, wordy ass, overdone speeches filled with hope, dreams and aspirations and a whole bunch of other stuff that ain't true. I personally feel like this is a disservice to our young people as well as a complete waste of time for us and the bleachers. It's 110 outside and if your last name happens to end in like a W, you'll spend the afternoon hallucinating as you go in and out of heat strokes. So I've decided to offer my services to give your school a truthful, concise, three minute commencement speech. Oh, it'll be something like this. Our speaker today is a moderately known comedian, actor and radio personality. He graduated from Elon college with a 2.2 GPA. He doesn't believe in science or math. And when we asked him to be the commencement speaker, he replied, and I quote, what's commencement mean? Please welcome. We know call you. Well, thank you. Oh, the standing ovation is so nice. Please, but sit down. I want to get the hell out of here. Parents, teachers, students, and especially students, a lot of people are going to tell you that graduation is just the beginning. But I got to be honest, for a lot of y'all, this is it. You peaked and you're going to struggle. You're going to struggle to regain this feeling for the next 50 years of your life. Your principal told me you were all excited to watch your all state quarterback, Steve Hawk play on TV next year. Well, if I was a betting man, you'll see him on TV in about 20 years on a show called On Patrol. Live, handcuffed, handcuffed on the hood of a car, hammered, drunk, getting tased in the trach, yelling. But I used to play quarterback in high school. And there's Steve Hawks girlfriend, Presley, the head cheerleader. I heard she said any girl over £100 is a pig. Well, I'm guessing in about 10 years she's gonna have Steve Hawk's kid. Then Tony Hawks, Atlanta Hawks. Hawkeye for mash. Hawk tua. I don't know, but I think it's going to be a mess. But to you foreign kids and the nerds, today actually is yalls beginning. You're gonna crush it. You worked hard and you fought through getting crapped on since junior high. And you may not know it, but all that BS has taught you to fight through adversity. Remember the days you'd be sitting in class emotionally beating yourself up and then one of the athletes had to stand up and read out loud in front of the class. And you knew if you laughed out loud, you'd get your ass kicked. Well, guess what? In the real world, you can laugh out loud because they'll be working for you. There's no swirlies or wedgies in the real world unless you join the military or work construction. So just get a job where people wear khakis. And to the average kids, what happened.
Pat Godwin
Is that the Reuben sandwich burger a little bit.
Christy Lee
Little sauerkraut. And to the average kids who squeaked by, at least you're honest. You had every answer to any question living in the phone in your pocket, and you clearly didn't use it. Stay on. Stay honest and moderate. You won't have a lot of money, but a life filled with love, family and truthfulness is a life well lived. I could rip into the creepy shop teacher that tried to coach the girls wrestling team.
Josh Arnold
And I want to go home.
Christy Lee
So in closing, none of y'all know anything yet. Don't be a jerk. And oh, yeah, start investing early. I'm Reno Collier and that's my country pride.
Chick McGee
Take it.
Bob Kevoian
Right.
Josh Arnold
Very nice. You know, those last three are pretty good.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, thanks. Don't be a jerk. Yeah, you don't know anything yet. And go ahead and start investing.
Christy Lee
Yeah, I wanted to. I wanted to help at the end. You should try to write one of these things. Dizzy.
Chick McGee
What was the name of the TV show where the quarterback was getting arrested?
Christy Lee
On patrol live.
Chick McGee
On patrol live. Okay, good.
Christy Lee
Wonderful program. They found seven police stations all around and it's real life, People getting arrested and a lot of them know it. So people come out of their house and dance and stuff. It's really fun.
Chick McGee
Thank you very much, Reno. Reno Collier. We always appreciate it, Reno. We're going to push on here in the o'reilly auto parts studios. We have a couple things coming up. Christy, give me the teaser, please.
Tom Griswold
We have a couple of coffee stories in the news, actually. One's tea, one's coffee.
Chick McGee
I enjoy both.
Tom Griswold
There's an escape gorilla out there in Virginia.
Josh Arnold
I like those.
Tom Griswold
A delivery problem because of an alligator.
Bob Kevoian
I like to think the gorilla is disguised sport coat hat.
Josh Arnold
And me too, dude.
Bob Kevoian
Walking around.
Josh Arnold
You sure hope that's the case.
Bob Kevoian
Nothing to see here.
Chick McGee
I need to shake.
Tom Griswold
Have you ever heard of a mechanical elephant? We'll talk about that.
Chick McGee
Okay, Right now we go that way for chick Magee Raycons everyday earbuds.
Bob Kevoian
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Chick McGee
Thank you very much, Chick Magee. We're coming right back. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom show show.
Bob Kevoian
Okay. All right. We're back in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom show with Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance News. There's Pat Godwin. Hello. Hello. Josh Arnold.
Josh Arnold
Hey, Chick.
Bob Kevoian
There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick McGee@theorangeinsouls.com sports desk. And here is Tom. Hello, Tom.
Chick McGee
And answering a couple questions that I was asking. Oh, the song Bicycle Built for Two, you said? I was wondering. I just was asking. Did Nat King Cole. Right there. No, no, it's much older. I should. I'm an idiot. It's 1892. Henry Daiquiri.
Tom Griswold
Oh, he makes a good drink.
Chick McGee
Or Dacre. I'm not sure how you pronounce his name.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah, he invented something else. We should.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Also, the first St. Patrick's Day parade in America was in 1601. Again, this seems so odd. St. Augustine's a Spanish colony under the direction of the colony's Irish vicar, Ricardo Autour. I would never have guessed that. But there you go.
Bob Kevoian
So real fuzzy on what's happening over there.
Chick McGee
I'm just saying we wanted to clarify for those that like to get their facts straight. Speaking of getting the facts right. That's why we're going to head over that way to the Silac Insurance news desk with Christy Lee.
Tom Griswold
The Virginia Zoo had to respond to rumors of an escaped gorilla in Norfolk. The zoo confirmed that not only were all of its animals accounted for, but the zoo doesn't have any gorillas.
Chick McGee
Not anymore.
Tom Griswold
Social media had lit up with reports of a gorilla on the loose following a power outage last Tuesday night. Several Facebook users claiming to have seen a large primate wandering through the neighborhood. And it spread like wildfire. Flower, flower, fire.
Chick McGee
That would be really bad to see.
Tom Griswold
A gorilla on the loose.
Chick McGee
Yeah, yeah, that would be.
Josh Arnold
Isn't it crazy that you're supposed to stay still and keep looking them in the eyes as they charge you?
Pat Godwin
Not happy.
Josh Arnold
That's what they say with gorilla running.
Bob Kevoian
And they always. I've saw a documentary about this and they will try. And you. You. There's no convincing you that there. Somehow the gorilla is going to stop.
Josh Arnold
Right.
Bob Kevoian
Because of the speed it's coming. There's no way. And then they always stop. They stop?
Christy Lee
Yes.
Josh Arnold
So if you are ever. If you ever encounter a gorilla.
Bob Kevoian
Yep.
Josh Arnold
And it starts charging, you stand still and just stare at it. But you have to fight every instinct. You have to not run away. If you run away, it'll grab you.
Chick McGee
How do you know that?
Josh Arnold
Oh, from I. I remember reading books about him years ago.
Bob Kevoian
Oh, absolutely. Tom, you got to get out there.
Tom Griswold
Stare it down.
Bob Kevoian
If you've ever crushed.
Chick McGee
I mean, in the category. In the category, highly unlikely.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. But yeah, crazy.
Josh Arnold
I love gorillas.
Tom Griswold
I. I do, too.
Bob Kevoian
Would you go to one of those wild. Wild animal experience where you're in your car and the animals walk up and stick their heads in the windows?
Josh Arnold
I would not.
Bob Kevoian
I've gotten like 10 of the videos of people, like zebras reaching in and.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
And it's just. I would wig me out, man. They're trying to get the food in the car.
Chick McGee
No, thanks.
Josh Arnold
Especially if you're driving through, like, see our lions and you're driving through Manhattan, Kansas. I don't know if I want to see your lions.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah, yeah.
Josh Arnold
This will be a bummer.
Chick McGee
Oh, we forgot about the sunroof. Yeah. No.
Tom Griswold
So what happens after you stare them down? Does he just turn around and walk away?
Josh Arnold
I'm not quite sure.
Tom Griswold
Then what are you doing?
Josh Arnold
Well, now what?
Tom Griswold
Now you're in this big stare down.
Bob Kevoian
You have to hold your hand, both hands. Hands palm up.
Tom Griswold
Right.
Bob Kevoian
And then give them a nod.
Josh Arnold
Yes.
Bob Kevoian
And they turn and walk.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Josh Arnold
Then they shake your hands.
Bob Kevoian
Ultimate respect from the gorilla man.
Tom Griswold
Crazy.
Chick McGee
So there. There were no gorillas?
Tom Griswold
No.
Chick McGee
At the zoo to begin with. It's just one of those Internet. All of a sudden, people Start thinking they see it. Well, what were they seeing?
Tom Griswold
I don't know.
Chick McGee
Maybe Mr. McGillicuddy down the street forgot to shave his back again. Sasquatch.
Tom Griswold
Okay, good question. I don't know what they saw.
Chick McGee
They're also missing their dodo bird. Everyone is missing their dodo bird.
Bob Kevoian
You know, that's a Warner Brothers cartoon. Dodo birds. And they're all doing that.
Chick McGee
That gives me an excuse to ask once again, could we see the Diddlers?
Bob Kevoian
Yeah.
Chick McGee
And you'll explain what this is. This is. I know this is radio. But now if you listen sound of this.
Bob Kevoian
I know it's hard to not laugh, but if you listen closely. It started at the beginning. Hoffy. So we can hear the. The BBC guy at that. And I think he. Isn't he talking?
Chick McGee
This is a. This is a contest from 1974 in Scotland.
Bob Kevoian
It's a diddling championship. And that's a Liberty Mutual commercial. But the point is.
Chick McGee
Where'd that come from?
Bob Kevoian
Here's the thing there. There's a BBC commentator, much like a soccer game game. And they're talking to an expert on diddling. And they. They compare notes and say who's who the winner is going to be expected to be.
Tom Griswold
And how did I not get picked to do that for ESPN2 back in the day?
Chick McGee
Here we go. Now. This is.
Bob Kevoian
Audience. Look at the crowd.
Pat Godwin
They think that's wonderful.
Bob Kevoian
Look at that.
Chick McGee
Isn't there a cartoon character like you said? But a lot of strong diddlers here today. So it's all now with the judges.
Bob Kevoian
This is the one I'm worried about.
Tom Griswold
He's hit his head.
Chick McGee
He looks like Les Nessman from wkrp.
Bob Kevoian
Here we go.
Tom Griswold
Listen.
Chick McGee
So far, choosing the seated position.
Bob Kevoian
I love that.
Chick McGee
It sounds like Spinal Tap.
Josh Arnold
That's on winner.
Bob Kevoian
He went high. Yeah.
Chick McGee
He's doing a melody.
Pat Godwin
That's F. Morrison.
Bob Kevoian
Dead is Davy Glenn. From Roy Bridge. From Roy Bridge.
Josh Arnold
Davy Glenn.
Bob Kevoian
Davy Glenn. He's the winner.
Chick McGee
The look.
Tom Griswold
That guy was smoking in the audience. Did you see that?
Pat Godwin
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
That's wild.
Josh Arnold
Wow.
Chick McGee
That is really.
Pat Godwin
Watch that.
Chick McGee
All the first guy. Great. It's only a cartoon. But you say the Diddling Championships are not happening.
Bob Kevoian
I don't believe so. No.
Josh Arnold
They've got to come back.
Chick McGee
It's important.
Tom Griswold
I think young people just aren't into diddling no more.
Josh Arnold
Well, the world needs it, I say.
Tom Griswold
I agree.
Pat Godwin
Everybody needs a good diddle.
Bob Kevoian
I know you're quite the scatter.
Josh Arnold
Couldn't I be in that?
Chick McGee
When you scat, you tend to use a Lot more. They're primarily going to the diddle.
Josh Arnold
Well, that's what I was just doing there. Yeah, yeah.
Chick McGee
So it's a different art. But.
Josh Arnold
But you know, I was just diddling.
Bob Kevoian
Honestly, right off the top of your head, you're nailing what they were doing.
Tom Griswold
Right, right.
Bob Kevoian
So where do they say, I'm sorry, you don't have what it takes to compete?
Chick McGee
The last guy was. He was doing a melody, not like a traditional.
Bob Kevoian
So you would say the last guy won. Is that.
Chick McGee
No. Yeah. The last guy wasn't as funny as the guy. That was just kind of.
Josh Arnold
Well, it's not a comedy contest.
Chick McGee
I know, but that's what it is for me. It's kind of some rando.
Josh Arnold
Our producer has something to add to this.
Chick McGee
Okay, we have another one.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, here we go.
Bob Kevoian
Past champion.
Pat Godwin
All right.
Josh Arnold
That is an insane person.
Chick McGee
And he has a puppet of himself.
Pat Godwin
This is why I got canceled.
Josh Arnold
The puppets. We're watching a madman.
Bob Kevoian
Look at that beard.
Josh Arnold
The man has a beard that's what, 12 inches long.
Chick McGee
Wearing a lot.
Bob Kevoian
A lot of.
Chick McGee
A lot of bad teeth.
Pat Godwin
Oh my God.
Josh Arnold
He's wearing like a Tamo shant. They loved it. That is the one. Kid's bored to tears.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Would rather be dead.
Bob Kevoian
You know, I'm concerned that this showed up in my email from someone who thought I would enjoy this.
Chick McGee
Oh, I'm enjoying it. I'm glad we have it.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Could you send us all that email so we can watch the show?
Josh Arnold
Just her.
Bob Kevoian
I. No, no, I don't want it.
Chick McGee
Yeah. This. This says it's from 1974, so I guess they're not doing it anymore. Darn it.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, it's a shame. We could start it again.
Bob Kevoian
We got to do. We should have the diddling contest and the. The putt putt tournament that we've always said we should.
Pat Godwin
I think it'd be hard to pick a winner. We're all good at it.
Tom Griswold
A police officer in Florida. I know when we need to move on.
Bob Kevoian
Yes.
Tom Griswold
Ended up delivering a pizza to a restaurant a resident, even though an alligator was blocking the drive.
Josh Arnold
I'll take it from here.
Tom Griswold
Police department shared body cam footage of an officer responding to the call of a large alligator in a 55 and over community. In the video, the officer encounters an eight foot gator underneath a resident's car. A pizza delivery driver arrives and nearly walks into the reptiles path before the officer stops her. The frightened driver asks the officer if he would deliver the meal, who obliges by delivering the pizza to the resident's back door. A trapper ultimately arrived and took the gator away.
Josh Arnold
I see.
Chick McGee
Who do you give the tip to?
Josh Arnold
Oh, the police officer or the driver. That is tough.
Chick McGee
We don't you think? I mean, the. The police officers had taken the risk.
Tom Griswold
First of all, the resident had to have called the police to say there was a gator, but then called and ordered a pizza.
Josh Arnold
Who knows?
Tom Griswold
I mean, that seems weird. Wouldn't you at least wait till the gator was gone?
Chick McGee
You're not going to go out of your house, might get bit by the gator, say Uno's?
Josh Arnold
No, I did not.
Chick McGee
I said who knows? This sounds like an old arcade game script. Okay, You've got to get the pizza delivered without getting eaten by the burger man.
Bob Kevoian
Or remember that. Wasn't that a video game?
Josh Arnold
Burger, Burger Chef or something? Yeah. Burger time.
Chick McGee
Burger time.
Josh Arnold
That's what it was. Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah. You had to make burgers. How many had to make?
Josh Arnold
Yeah. All these toppings were falling.
Bob Kevoian
Oh my gosh.
Chick McGee
Well, if you're just joining us once again, we are the Bob and Tom show and we are coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee is right over there at the Silac Insurance news desk. What's happening?
Tom Griswold
A chicken has laid a massive egg that meas three times the normal size.
Bob Kevoian
Well, that'll stretch a hole out.
Tom Griswold
Rob Griffin of Devon reports their hen named Gail took five hours to lay the enormous egg.
Bob Kevoian
Damn it, Gail, is this your problem or my problem?
Tom Griswold
The 38 year old father of three said the egg weighed in at 175 grams. I'm not, I can't translate that.
Bob Kevoian
That's 12 pounds.
Tom Griswold
12 pounds. Whereas Gail tends to lay eggs weighing around 50 grams. By comparison, a very large supermarket egg is around 73 grams.
Chick McGee
So this is more than double that.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, Mr. Griffin said that when he cracked open the giant egg, a second egg fell out. The interior egg ended up being normal with the yolk of its own egg. In an egg.
Chick McGee
It's like those Russian dolls.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
All I want is a yolk of my own.
Chick McGee
Poor, poor little hand.
Tom Griswold
Poor Gail.
Josh Arnold
I'm sure it's.
Chick McGee
They gave her the epidural.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah, right.
Chick McGee
Yikes. Man does that. You suppose it's damaged?
Bob Kevoian
You think they'll give him a rooster stitch?
Chick McGee
Oh, nice.
Josh Arnold
Very funny.
Chick McGee
The old rooster stitch.
Tom Griswold
Mechanical elephants are replacing real elephants at some Hindu temples in India.
Bob Kevoian
Well, we're running out of elephants.
Tom Griswold
A handful of companies are constructing mechanical elephants. It can flap their ears, swing their tails and even spray water.
Bob Kevoian
Scared me to Death.
Josh Arnold
You thought there was a real elephant.
Tom Griswold
The lifelike recreations are made of fiber mesh, rubber foam and metal and are mounted on wheelbases for ease of movement. While the mechanized elephants are starting to grow in popularity as temples move away from captive elephants due to costs and safety concerns.
Chick McGee
Here's one. It's on wheels.
Tom Griswold
Some makers have back have faced backlash from those who believe they dilute tradition. The eight foot elephants weigh around are under 660 pounds. If you're a 10 footer you're going to weigh about 1100. With BR prices ranging from 4 to $5,700. 4000 to 600, 6000.
Chick McGee
I mean they show a bunch of people wearing like sarongs and stuff. If it's the wrong, it's the dudes are wearing like loose towels. But there, there's a guy pushing an elephant on metal wheels.
Bob Kevoian
Did you hear Josh? He started out so confidently and then.
Josh Arnold
Immediately there's nothing there. Just hit a wall.
Bob Kevoian
Two sarongs don't make a right.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, there you go.
Chick McGee
This isn't the tradition is you gotta have the real elephants, right?
Josh Arnold
What do you care about these temples?
Tom Griswold
You have to keep an elephant. Do you know how hard that would be?
Bob Kevoian
You know how much do you want to feed an elephant?
Chick McGee
Do you want to please the gods or not? This is a religious thing.
Bob Kevoian
I think it's the idea of the elephant.
Chick McGee
I think, I think it's got to be a real elephant or you're going to hell.
Josh Arnold
I don't know that they have a hell per se. I don't know much about it.
Chick McGee
I think they live there. Ever seen the Ganges? Yeah. Water ski on that. You got to avoid the bodies.
Bob Kevoian
Ugliest American of all.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Worried about the temples not doing it correctly.
Chick McGee
I was trying to do a new bottled water called Ganges. No one wanted to drink it.
Tom Griswold
A mountain in New Zealand is now officially considered a person.
Josh Arnold
Well, this is ridiculous.
Tom Griswold
After a new law granted it all the rights and responsibilities of a human being.
Chick McGee
What are they going to charge you with?
Tom Griswold
Murder for all those dead bodies on Mount Taranaki. Now known as Taranaki Mangana. It's a Mari name.
Bob Kevoian
None of those were words.
Tom Griswold
It is is considered to be an ancestor by indigenous people.
Josh Arnold
Idiots.
Tom Griswold
The legal recognition acknowledges the mountain's theft left from the Maori of the Taranaki region after New Zealand was colonized.
Bob Kevoian
Stepanyaki. That's a buffet, right?
Tom Griswold
Taranaki.
Pat Godwin
That's a nice sauce.
Tom Griswold
The law states that a newly created entity will be the face and voice of the Mountain with four members from a local Maori tribe and four members appointed by the country's conservation minister.
Bob Kevoian
Whoopty dude.
Josh Arnold
Wipe them out.
Chick McGee
How's their space program? Yeah, always with the space military like.
Bob Kevoian
We'Re the kings of space.
Josh Arnold
And mounted is a person now. Oh, is it?
Chick McGee
Don't fat chase wacky bastards marry it.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Oh, there'll be somebody who should be.
Josh Arnold
A test before we allow any laws to be passed. Based on what? These tribes people can you tell me is it name this? You hold up a fork, tell me what this is. Oh, we don't know. Then you don't get any laws.
Tom Griswold
Speaking of space, a SpaceX capsule arrived at the international space Station Sunday delivering replacements for those two stuck astronauts. The new crew pulled up. Four newcomers went in. They'll spend some time learning the station's ins and outs from Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams.
Josh Arnold
Oh, you think when those doors will be. Ah, it smells like farts.
Bob Kevoian
The new people. Oh my God.
Chick McGee
I bet that really really is a thing, right?
Pat Godwin
They've been up there a while, right?
Tom Griswold
Yeah, nine months. Then it will be time for the two to end their nine month stay and head home on Tuesday evening.
Bob Kevoian
Now what's the deal?
Tom Griswold
It was supposed to be a one week stay.
Bob Kevoian
Remember these two, Are they romantically involved? There's a relationship.
Pat Godwin
Well, could have happened up there.
Bob Kevoian
You know any port in the storm.
Chick McGee
Yeah, but they're in there.
Pat Godwin
Love the one you're with.
Bob Kevoian
What if this is our last day in the shuttle? We got to grab it while we can.
Chick McGee
Out of the shuttle. They're on whatever it is. Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
Yes.
Chick McGee
Distinctly different.
Bob Kevoian
Come across with the goodies. Let's go.
Pat Godwin
They're both married, right? To other people?
Tom Griswold
I don't know. Maybe.
Josh Arnold
Man, they got to be excited.
Tom Griswold
Can you. Oh.
Bob Kevoian
What. What have you. What about? Sunni's husband's crazy jealous. Oh. So what did you and your phones ringing all. What'd you and Butch do last night? Playing cards.
Tom Griswold
He's waiting when they get off with and get off the plane.
Josh Arnold
And boy, where would you go? What's the first place you'd hit up. You're in space for nine.
Chick McGee
Isn't in and out. Isn't walking kind of difficult at first.
Bob Kevoian
It has to. Absolutely. Absolutely. And all of your. All of your interior organs and liquids are all jumbled up.
Josh Arnold
Oh yeah. They gotta get in there.
Tom Griswold
Floating around in there.
Bob Kevoian
There's no up or down. Oh yeah.
Pat Godwin
You do come back.
Chick McGee
So what would you now? Let's just say you give yourself a little bit of time and they get you back in normal earth shape. What's the first place you go to eat?
Bob Kevoian
Christy, I think she said in an Albert.
Tom Griswold
That would be good. And then an out burger, that'd be good.
Chick McGee
Rough.
Tom Griswold
I make a pretty good spaghetti right now.
Pat Godwin
I'll go in your house then.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, you could. You would love it.
Bob Kevoian
No, kfc.
Tom Griswold
Really?
Josh Arnold
That's a good choice. That is a good choice.
Bob Kevoian
That's eat my weight in coleslaw. Yummy.
Chick McGee
Good to know. Right now, Christy Lee is sitting at the Silac Insurance news desk. Silac is. Well, they're all experts on what? Well, it's called an annuity. And here's the background on this. 61% of Americans age 50 and over are saying, I'm not sure I'm gonna have enough money when I retire. I'm getting kind of worried about it. Well, is now is the time to act and get yourself prepared for the future? An annuity is a way to make sure that you keep getting paid because let's face it, it's not like back in the day when your mom or your dad would have a job and they'd get that gold watch and keep getting paid that old pension. Those are for the most part and for most of us, gone. This is where an annuity will pay off for you. Supplement your Social Security, et cetera, et cetera. Get the details on annuities from the experts at the Silac Insurance Company. A Silac annuity plan will put money in your mailbox or on your bank account or in your hands, whatever works for you. Certain restrictions apply. See if you qualify. Head to silacins.com and that's S I L A C by the way, you can just go to bobandtom.com and Chick Magee will guide you through the process.
Bob Kevoian
That's me.
Chick McGee
Once again, it's the Silac Insurance Company. S I L A c I n s.com and find out what annuities are all about from the annuity experts at the Silac Insurance Company. We're coming right back. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
H
Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Even though we're not too much to look at, you can also watch the show on our YouTube channel.
Bob Kevoian
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Josh Arnold, Lace Cosby, Pat Godwin. Hello, Christy Lee. Hey, Silas, Insurance news desk.
Josh Arnold
Chick, we have an important update that we will get to after this.
Tom Griswold
Okay?
Josh Arnold
We have to we'll save lives.
Bob Kevoian
I'm Chick. Here's Tom.
Chick McGee
Yeah, I think I have the same update. You two judge, why don't you. Why don't you go ahead? Now we have to point out something you stated somewhat dramatically and emphatically what to do if you're being attacked by a gorilla.
Josh Arnold
Yes, I very vehemently said you must stand still and stare the gorilla in the eyes as it's charging you, and then just. It will stop. Well, I'm half right. The other half will get you killed.
Tom Griswold
Which half?
Josh Arnold
You're what Marvin tells us. Dear uneducated people, I hate to disagree with Josh and Chick, but when a gorilla is charging you, what you do is remain still. I got that. Right. Slowly crouch down to appear less threatening. I left that out completely. And never make eye contact.
Pat Godwin
Never.
Josh Arnold
No. So just look away. Yeah.
Chick McGee
So what you said is the exact opposite.
Josh Arnold
I said stay still. Stand your ground.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Josh Arnold
But you wanna. You want to get low and don't look at.
Chick McGee
But your method. You'd stand your ground and get run over by a large.
Josh Arnold
It would probably stop in front of you and then rip your head off.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Bob Kevoian
And I believe you're not supposed to stare. Make stare at a dog too long. Is that a sign of disrespect or something?
Chick McGee
What?
Bob Kevoian
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Oh, really?
Bob Kevoian
Yeah, Right in their eyes. Don't look at them.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, they don't like it. I know that.
Bob Kevoian
Oh, hey, you ever just stare at your dog? Sure.
Chick McGee
They don't mind.
Tom Griswold
They don't turn their head ever.
Chick McGee
I'll be talking to them.
Josh Arnold
I slow blink my cats a lot. No, that means I love you.
Chick McGee
I had. I had said.
Bob Kevoian
I've heard that about cats, that you. If you do this, this. You blink, slow blink at them. The cat knows you're saying I love, and they.
Josh Arnold
They slow blink back.
Bob Kevoian
What a load of.
Josh Arnold
It's absolutely true. And sometimes my cat will come up and look at me and just slow blink, telling me that she loves me.
Pat Godwin
Bring your cat in tomorrow. I want to see.
Bob Kevoian
Yes, I want to see.
Josh Arnold
My cat's here right now. Gravy.
Chick McGee
Now, we've limited the Chuck Norris jokes to one per day.
Tom Griswold
Okay. You've already done yours.
Chick McGee
I'm going to make an exception because this joke comes.
Bob Kevoian
He just. He comes up with the rule, and then right away. Yep, go ahead.
Chick McGee
This is for Josh, because this guy is listening right now in South Korea.
Josh Arnold
Oh, all right.
Chick McGee
So I think we have to do him the honor of sharing this Chuck Norris joke.
Bob Kevoian
All right.
Chick McGee
And it's also one I Had not heard and it is excellent. I expect you to respond appropriately. Appropriate manner in an excellent way for this excellent joke. Once again, coming to us from Jim in South Korea.
Josh Arnold
Hi, Jim.
Chick McGee
Jim, thanks for listening. By the way. Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together. Nothing.
Josh Arnold
Look, I mean, I think you know where I'm at here. I've made it very clear.
Bob Kevoian
I don't know what it would take to get me to laugh at a Chuck Norris joke, but I. I'm more. I think it's funnier when they bomb. I. Is that bad?
Chick McGee
Bad?
Bob Kevoian
I'm sorry.
Chick McGee
Okay, well, I'm sorry. I enjoyed it very much, Jim. And I certainly appreciate you taking the time and trouble to listen to the show in South Korea.
Josh Arnold
Yes, thank you, Jim.
Bob Kevoian
You do bring up a good point. I don't care for Jim either, so let's not. Oh, okay.
Josh Arnold
I like Jim. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Really?
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
You've never met Jim. How can you make a decision?
Bob Kevoian
How do you know I've never met Jim?
Tom Griswold
You're right. I don't know. You're correct.
Chick McGee
I tell you what, let's switch gears. We'll head over to the SILAC insurance news desk. Starring Christy Lee.
Tom Griswold
A California man has won $50 million in a lawsuit after being seriously burned when a Starbucks drink spilled in his lap.
Bob Kevoian
How much?
Tom Griswold
$50 million. Michael Garcia sustained the injuries after a venti. Venti sized tea drink spilled in his lap at a drive through back in 2020. He underwent skin grafts and other procedures on his genitals with his lawyer alleging that Mr. Garcia suffered permanent and life changing disfigurement.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
After he sued Starbucks for negligence, a Los Angeles county jury ruled in Mr. Garcia's favor, awarding him 50 mil.
Josh Arnold
Okay.
Tom Griswold
Argued that an employee didn't wedge the scalding hot tea firmly enough into a takeout tray.
Josh Arnold
Ah, gotcha.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah, I'll do it.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
50 million.
Pat Godwin
I'll take a tea to the crotch for that.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
But isn't there.
Josh Arnold
I mean, this happened to me. What it really did. And I didn't. She was handing me the tea, the hot tea. And the lid was not on properly when I grabbed. Fell into my lap. A scorching hot green tea.
Tom Griswold
You could have been $50 million.
Josh Arnold
I had no idea. I mean, thankfully it didn't harm my genitals.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Bob Kevoian
Well, I didn't notice any disfigurement from.
Josh Arnold
Genitals when I was. And I knew they would get you on the stairs.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Pat Godwin
No scarring.
Chick McGee
Was it green tea or black tea? You can tell.
Bob Kevoian
Green tea.
Josh Arnold
There was scarring on my thigh for about a, you know, a week or two.
Bob Kevoian
But don't these.
Pat Godwin
That's a thousand bucks.
Bob Kevoian
These awards by juries. Don't they have to come from somewhere? Or insurance companies?
Chick McGee
They'll get it reduced by 40 million or 50 million if that seems a little excessive.
Josh Arnold
I don't know, man. Your balls and penis are ruined.
Chick McGee
Maybe you should get off your ass, get out of the car and go get the drink.
Josh Arnold
Well, that's ridiculous.
Tom Griswold
Drive through, don't even talk.
Bob Kevoian
No, that's. So are you, Tom. He never goes through the drive thru.
Chick McGee
I don't like going through the drive. You know that on occasion.
Josh Arnold
But so many go through the drive thru.
Tom Griswold
Yes.
Bob Kevoian
Why don't you?
Josh Arnold
And you should be grateful for it because there's less people in line inside.
Chick McGee
You mean fewer.
Bob Kevoian
Right up the old ass.
Chick McGee
Now your caramel macchiato is going to go from 9 bucks to 15 to pay off this guy for dropping a hot tea in his balls.
Bob Kevoian
I thought you were going to say deuce.
Tom Griswold
Big news out of London today. John Lennon being honored in a specially minted British coin collection.
Bob Kevoian
He will not be there to mark.
Tom Griswold
The year the Beatles legend and peace advocate would have turned 85.
Josh Arnold
It's a pretty coin.
Tom Griswold
The Royal Mint announced the coin features a portrait of Lennon based on a famous image taken by music industry photographer Bob Gruen in 1974. It depicts a side profile of Lennon. Lennon taken on the roof of his penthouse in New York. Fans and coin collectors are able to buy the coins from the Royal Mints website starting today. There you go.
Chick McGee
Have you seen it, Josh?
Josh Arnold
Yes. And to really honor Lennon's passing, you can drop it on a New York sidewalk.
Chick McGee
Wow. Nothing there. Whoa. Anyone. Anyone want to try to fix that one?
Josh Arnold
That's where he was found.
Bob Kevoian
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Nothing there.
Josh Arnold
Nothing there.
Bob Kevoian
Nothing.
Josh Arnold
No, I know there's absolutely something there. You were just offended by.
Bob Kevoian
You're morally bankrupt.
Josh Arnold
I'm not arguing that. Oh, he meant something to me.
Chick McGee
No, no, no, no.
Bob Kevoian
You keep.
Chick McGee
Keep wallowing. Wallowing in this.
Bob Kevoian
Have you seen the latest. Isn't there the newest documentary where they put it out. Out specifically to show you that they actually did have fun at some point because everything's been so. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chick McGee
It's really.
Bob Kevoian
It's really.
Tom Griswold
It's fun to watch a good time.
Chick McGee
Recording really is good.
Tom Griswold
Here's the. Here's the coin, Tom. I don't know if you can see. There you go. That's great.
Chick McGee
That is really nice.
Bob Kevoian
That's good looks just like him.
Chick McGee
Want to mock it?
Josh Arnold
I already told him my joke. Yeah.
Chick McGee
Oh, well, that was a joke. I'm sorry.
Josh Arnold
I mean, I could sit here and pout because my Chuck Norris joke didn't get a laugh.
Chick McGee
Also, you know, it's Jim's Chuck Norris joke, and I think Jim. Okay, Jim in South Korea is offended. Jim, walk across the border to the north. They no longer want you here. I'm so sorry for you, Jim. Well, we are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios, and this is the Bob and Tom Show.
H
For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom show contest rules, go to bob and tom.com contest contest dash rules. Or just scroll down to the bottom of the page and see contest rules. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Jim Rome takes on sports.
Chick McGee
Why? Because you're not playing me with rapid fire takes. Y'all went from the super bowl straight to the toilet bowl. He's not over the NFL. The NFL is over him. Scorching debates, all the good, all the bad, all the ups, all the downs.
H
He's the spitfire of spirit sports smack.
Chick McGee
Sorry for what I said because it was appropriate when I said it, but I can't say it anymore. Dude, you are killing the game.
H
The Jim Rome Show Podcast. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.
Podcast Summary: The BOB & TOM Show - March 17, 2025
The BOB & TOM Show delivered an engaging and laughter-filled episode on March 17, 2025, blending festive celebrations, sports banter, listener interactions, and comedic news segments. Hosted by Bob Kevoian, Tom Griswold, and Chick McGee, the show maintained its signature mix of humor, talk, news, and sports, resonating well with both loyal listeners and newcomers.
The episode kicked off with a vibrant celebration of St. Patrick's Day, discussing parades across major cities like Chicago and New York. The hosts delved into Irish traditions, sharing humorous takes on classic sayings and songs.
Notable Moment:
“May you be at the gates of heaven an hour before the devil knows you're dead” ([07:03]).
Highlights:
A significant portion of the show was dedicated to discussing March Madness, highlighting both the excitement of college basketball and its broader implications.
Key Points:
"I don't think I can live long enough to spend a billion dollars." ([12:54]).
Interactive Segment:
The hosts engaged with their audience by reading and responding to various listener-submitted letters, covering topics from driver's education experiences to humorous exchanges about Chuck Norris jokes.
Driver's Education Anecdotes:
"Our instructor would make us drive into the setting sun and would not let us use the visor or sunglasses. He said, you have to learn to drive under all conditions, good or bad." ([18:29]).
Humorous Exchanges:
The show featured a variety of news segments, each infused with the hosts' characteristic humor and commentary.
Jesse Eisenberg and James Bond:
"I don't think you can find anyone more miscast as 007 than Jesse Eisenberg." ([102:52]).
Escape Gorilla Myth:
"Social media had lit up with reports of a gorilla on the loose... the zoo doesn't have any gorillas." ([142:04]).
Chicago Bulls Banners Damaged:
"I don't know how the damage occurred, but it was probably some mischief by the band." ([63:27]).
Mechanical Elephants in India:
"Some makers have faced backlash from those who believe they dilute tradition." ([150:37]).
Snow White Live-Action Movie Controversy:
"It doesn't seem like it took... They're CGI'd onto the bodies they're using." ([147:06]).
Iditarod Sled Dog Race:
"He really, really wants to win this race, showing incredible endurance." ([59:19]).
Gummy Worm Eating Records:
"That poor girl is being photoshopped to hell." ([93:32]).
The show's comedic segments continued to entertain listeners with a blend of satire, parody, and absurd humor.
Diddling Championships Parody:
"This guy's supposed to be good at this, but he's doing a melody, not like a traditional diddling." ([61:08]).
Lap Dance Incident:
"He practically drinks the bottle of your favorite vodka brand." ([101:35]).
Mechanical Elephant Parody:
"You have to keep an elephant, do you know how much do you want to feed an elephant?" ([152:12]).
Chuck Norris Jokes:
"Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together." ([89:06]).
Various other stories and humorous exchanges kept the energy high throughout the episode.
Longest Conveyor Belt Record:
"You have to have a 42-mile long belt. How could that?" ([119:03]).
Escape Gorilla Myth Debunked:
"Perhaps a neighbor forgot to shave, and someone mistook him for a wandering gorilla." ([141:56]).
Gummy Worm Eating Record:
"She doesn't look like she was struggling, just calmly eating those gummy worms." ([93:32]).
Chicago River Dyed Green:
"Thousands lined the river and packed bridges to watch members of the Chicago Journeyman plumbers union spray dye into the water." ([152:12]).
Consistent with the show's format, several product promotions were interspersed throughout the episode. However, as per the user's instructions, advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections have been omitted from this summary.
The March 17, 2025, episode of The BOB & TOM Show masterfully blended festive celebrations with sports discussions, listener interactions, and a plethora of humorous news stories. The hosts' chemistry and quick-witted humor ensured an engaging experience, maintaining the show's reputation as a beloved morning staple for comedy, talk, news, and sports enthusiasts nationwide.
Notable Quotes:
Bob Kevoian ([07:03]):
“May you be at the gates of heaven an hour before the devil knows you're dead.”
Chick McGee ([24:15]):
“May you be at the gates of heaven an hour before the devil knows you're dead. And may there be a two-hour line.”
Bob Kevoian ([12:54]):
“I don't think I can live long enough to spend a billion dollars.”
Pat Godwin ([101:35]):
“Chick Magee has a very heavy hand. He practically drinks the bottle of your favorite vodka brand.”
Josh Arnold ([89:06]):
“Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.”
These moments encapsulate the blend of humor and cultural celebration that defines the show's enduring appeal.