The BOB & TOM Show - March 20, 2025

Summary

Podcast Summary: The BOB & TOM Show - March 20, 2025

The March 20, 2025 episode of The BOB & TOM Show dives into a diverse array of topics, blending humor, sports analysis, listener interactions, and special guest segments. Below is a detailed summary capturing the episode's key discussions, insights, and memorable moments.

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1. Introduction and Season Highlights

The show kicks off around the Equinox, signaling a seasonal transition that serves as a backdrop for various discussions throughout the episode.

2. Sports Roundup

NCAA Tournament Action

The hosts delve into the excitement surrounding the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament. Key highlights include:

• Xavier Musketeers' Victory: Marcus Foster scored 22 points, and Zach Fremantle added 15, overcoming foul trouble to rally past Texas with a score of 86-80 in a First Four game held at UD Arena in Dayton. [03:48]

NFL Rule Changes Proposals

A significant portion of the discussion centers on proposed NFL rule changes aimed at enhancing the game's fairness and excitement:

• Defensive Pass Interference: Josh Arnold proposes allowing defenders to tackle receivers who are about to catch the ball, arguing that preventing the catch could reduce unfair advantages. Ace Cosby supports this by stating, "Otherwise, he could catch it and run it into the end zone." [04:14]

• Playoff Seeding Adjustments: The proposal includes allowing wild card teams with better records to secure higher playoff seeds than division champions. Tom Griswold remarks, "The team that wins the coin toss disproportionately wins the game." emphasizing the need for fairness in postseason rankings. [67:02]

Special Mentions

• Underwater Hockey Team: A salute is given to Roger Bacon High School's unique underwater hockey team, the only one of its kind in the United States, competing in Canada’s 46th Annual College Royal Underwater Hockey Tournament. [04:33]

3. Listener Stories

The show features amusing and sometimes cautionary tales from listeners about driving mishaps:

• Confusion Between Gas and Brake Pedals: One listener shares an incident where mistaking the gas for the brake led to unintended consequences. Ace Cosby humorously adds, "You need to know how to cook it right." [06:22]

• Hidden Ball Trick in Baseball: A story about the Nebraska Cornhuskers successfully executing a hidden ball trick during a game, sparking laughter and disbelief among the hosts. [51:27]

4. Comedy Segments with Special Guests

Frank Caliendo

Comedian Frank Caliendo joins the show, bringing his signature humor and engaging in light-hearted banter:

• Tour Announcements: Frank discusses his upcoming club tour, starting in Dallas on April 3rd and covering various cities, including Houston, Louisville, Fort Wayne, Indianapolis, Cincinnati, and Columbus. He humorously reflects on preparing for corporate events and his experiences in comedy. [58:27]

• Impressions and Sketches: Frank performs snippets of his impressions and sketches, including a playful take on historical figures and pop culture icons. His interaction with the hosts is both entertaining and filled with improvisational humor. [105:45]

Alex Lifeson of Rush

Alex Lifeson, the renowned guitarist from the legendary band Rush, makes an appearance to discuss his new project:

• "Stygian Waves" Album: Lifeson introduces his sophomore album, "Stygian Waves," highlighting its inspiration drawn from Ovid’s essay about navigating turbulent waters. He explains the collaborative writing process with his bandmates and co-producer Maya Wynn. [143:41]

• Musical Insights: Lifeson shares insights into the integration of keyboards in their music, adding depth and dimension to their sound. He reflects on his guitar collection's evolution and upcoming projects. [145:54]

5. Charity Initiatives

Charitable T-Shirt Sales

The hosts promote a special initiative to support Cincinnati Children's Hospital through the sale of exclusive T-shirts:

• Design and Availability: T-shirts designed with artwork featuring Bert Kreischer are available for purchase online and at upcoming shows in Cincinnati on March 27th at Smoke Justice Restaurant. Proceeds go directly to creating superhero-themed pajamas for children undergoing surgery. Tom Griswold emphasizes, "We're giving the money away." [33:33]

6. Health and Wellness Promotions

Factor Meals

A segment highlights Factor Meals, offering chef-prepared gourmet meals tailored to various dietary preferences:

• Nutrition Made Easy: With over 40 options weekly, Factor Meals cater to busy lifestyles, providing meals that are dietitian-approved and ready to heat and eat in minutes. Special discounts for podcast listeners are also mentioned. [15:35]

BetterHelp

The show features a promotion for BetterHelp, an online therapy platform:

• Accessible Mental Health Support: Christy Lee explains the benefits of online therapy, emphasizing its convenience and the wide range of available therapists. Listeners are encouraged to visit betterhelp.com/btshow for a special discount. [36:24]

7. Additional Highlights

• Popcorn Mishaps: Ongoing jokes and stories about popcorn-related incidents, adding a recurring humorous element to the episode. [03:10]

• Technical Glitches and Banter: Light-hearted interactions about technical issues within the studio, showcasing the hosts' camaraderie and wit. [17:00]

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Memorable Quotes

• Ace Cosby on NFL Rules: "You should be allowed to tackle the guy who's about to catch the ball." [04:20]

• Frank Caliendo on Host Dynamics: "That's what Aaron [Rodgers] has done." [105:27]

• Tom Griswold on Charity T-Shirts: "We're giving the money away." [33:33]

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Conclusion

The episode of The BOB & TOM Show seamlessly weaves together sports analysis, comedic entertainment, listener engagement, and charitable endeavors. With special guests like Frank Caliendo and Alex Lifeson, the show offers a dynamic and engaging experience for listeners, ensuring there's something for everyone to enjoy.

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Note: Advertisements and non-content sections have been intentionally excluded from this summary to focus solely on the informative and entertaining aspects of the episode.

Transcript

[Tom Griswold]

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[Chick McGee]

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[Tom Griswold]

Alfa Romeo Tonale Plug In Hybrid.

[Chick McGee]

Tap the banner to learn more. Alfa Romeo is a registered trademark of FCA Group Marketing SpA.

[Christy Lee]

Used with permission. It's the Bob and Tom Show. Sitting on a park bench.

[Tom Griswold]

Noticing the.

[Christy Lee]

Day and nights the same language.

[Tom Griswold]

Equinox.

[Christy Lee]

Vernal or autumnal? I prefer vernal, but autumnal's not bad. Equinox. It sounds like something online, like ebay or E trade. But it's not.

[Tom Griswold]

Equinox.

[Christy Lee]

If you are nocturnal. You got 12 hours to get all your stuff done. Equinox.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

Equinox.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, good morning. Hello. Equinox Indeed. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, it's the Bob and Tom Show. What?

[Chick McGee]

Happy spring. What stays spring?

[Josh Arnold]

That's dorm I.

[Ace Cosby]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Bernal. Equinox was 1 hour ago Eastern time, right?

[Christy Lee]

Yes, that's Christy Lee at the SILAC Insurance news desk. There's Pat Godwin.

[Josh Arnold]

Hello.

[Tom Griswold]

By the way, who set the building on fire?

[Ace Cosby]

MB Popcorn.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, is that what that is?

[Christy Lee]

Man, it smells like dirty feet and turd wrap sock is what it smells like. There's Josh Arnold.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hey. Hello.

[Christy Lee]

Ace Cosby.

[Chick McGee]

I watched Ace walk out to the dumpster to throw it away.

[Christy Lee]

Good Lord.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it's real.

[Christy Lee]

It's really hanging in there.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, it is.

[Tom Griswold]

Our airways are somewhat polluted, but when we speak, they are anyway. Well, hello, everybody. Welcome to the Bob and Tom Show. I am discombobulated over here.

[Christy Lee]

Of course you are.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, if you're comboulated, you can begin the show. Go ahead. I've got to get these papers off.

[Christy Lee]

We've got sports coming up, including more games in the NCAA tournament last night. We got a couple of NFL news and notes. We'll go over more. More listener mail this morning, some rules changes in the NFL that we'll go over, and you know, how we all react to those proposed rules changes. And Josh, I think, had the best rules change in the history of the world for the NFL. It involves defense and pass interference.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. Yeah. It's really a silly rule. You should be allowed to tackle the guy who's about to catch the ball.

[Tom Griswold]

Sure.

[Ace Cosby]

Otherwise, he could catch it and run it into the end zone.

[Christy Lee]

Absolutely.

[Tom Griswold]

You want to defend the line or not?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. What are we doing here?

[Christy Lee]

And we're going to. We're going to salute a special appearance during Sports Today by Flavor. Flavor.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

And he does a little of that.

[Ace Cosby]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

Okay. And special salute today to Cincinnati High School Roger Bacon High School. They are competing in the underwater hockey team competition in Canada this. This weekend. So we're gonna. We have a guy who has kids on the team, and he's gonna give us the lowdown, and he's gonna send us the results Saturday night. We'll talk about it Monday. Wow. Underwater hockey. Tom, an idea whose time has come in Canada. In Canada. Well, yeah, we can't have that sort of thing here. And I think Roger Bacon High School was the only high school in United States with an underwater hockey team.

[Ace Cosby]

Do you think it started? Well, the. The lake isn't frozen anymore. We can still play. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

We got to play hockey, though.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

That's Minnesota.

[Tom Griswold]

Canadian Content continues. Alex Lifeson will be our guest. The great guitarist from Rush.

[Christy Lee]

I thought his name had a V in it for all of my life until, like, 20 minutes ago.

[Tom Griswold]

You thought it was liveson.

[Christy Lee]

I thought it was Liveson, which is how everyone pronounced that. I go, well, that's got to be in it.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no.

[Christy Lee]

I know, I know.

[Tom Griswold]

So we'll look forward to that. Let's see. Oh, Frank Caliendo today. Got. This is gonna be very exciting. Well, let's get sorted out over here. Christy, what do you got? Interesting. Interesting happening over on your side.

[Christy Lee]

Any animals? Any. Any drunken Florida people? Any.

[Chick McGee]

We do have animals. We have a. A rogue pig that caught some problems.

[Christy Lee]

You know, that's a giant problem in my dream city, Austin, Texas, they have a problem.

[Chick McGee]

Feral pigs.

[Christy Lee]

Feral pigs coming out of the hills and eating people's laws.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. It's actually a huge problem.

[Tom Griswold]

This is a problem of when. If you eat a feral pig.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You'd better know how to cook it right.

[Chick McGee]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the essence of the story.

[Christy Lee]

Trichinosis, and that starts with T, and that rhymes with P, and that stands for pool. And they got a problem stands for pig.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But, yes, we have Rogaine in the.

[Chick McGee]

News, Botox in the news, and we have something spilled on the highway.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, maybe an early. An early song from Pat. Now was yesterday. I was going to say, you didn't even touch the guitar or the piano yesterday.

[Josh Arnold]

I had five songs prepared. You didn't look at your text.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, here's the thing.

[Josh Arnold]

You told me I hadn't written a song in three weeks. Pissed me off. I shut down.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, could I offer you some advice? If you have a song that goes with a story, you go, hey, Christy, I have a song goes with that. And you go ahead and.

[Ace Cosby]

Christy, that sound advice. I don't think it works that way.

[Christy Lee]

He doesn't think you.

[Chick McGee]

Apparently not.

[Ace Cosby]

I think Pat. Pat tries that.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, I'll tell you. Here's what we're gonna do. Pat, put down your coffee and. And pay attention. Now, I'll review just some headlines from yesterday. You tell me if you've got a song for it. Ready? Okay. We had the story about the French bulldog being the most popular dog in America. Now, when it comes to.

[Josh Arnold]

I could have done Dog Pound Blues next.

[Tom Griswold]

But you didn't.

[Chick McGee]

But you didn't.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay, I've done it too much.

[Ace Cosby]

You were waiting for approval, or were.

[Chick McGee]

You waiting for Tom to tell you?

[Josh Arnold]

I just thought I'd done it too much.

[Tom Griswold]

I've. I don't remember.

[Frank Caliendo]

I like to wait a couple.

[Tom Griswold]

Then we had. We had the one from the Mr. Obvious Institute for Advanced Study headline, Playing with dogs relieves stress in humans and dogs. No kidding. There should be. Someone should investigate the dumbest. The dumbest allocation of funds to scientists.

[Chick McGee]

I think somebody is.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, let's see. You could cure cancer or find out if. When dogs wag their tails, they're happy. Okay, good. Let's see. You didn't do a song about that. How about. Did you do a song about the wiener dog parade in Germany?

[Josh Arnold]

No. That's three dog stories in a row. So I could have used dogs.

[Ace Cosby]

You're not fooled by what you're doing here. You're just doing what we did yesterday.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

You miss it so much.

[Chick McGee]

What song did you do?

[Tom Griswold]

Miss?

[Christy Lee]

Is that what you're doing, honey?

[Tom Griswold]

No, because I am defending myself. He said, that's okay. Let me just do a little rude.

[Chick McGee]

I wish you would send me those texts. Then I would know that you have songs about the story and I could prompt you.

[Tom Griswold]

We had. How about this?

[Josh Arnold]

I like to work more organically.

[Tom Griswold]

How about this one? Okay. Do you have a song about.

[Christy Lee]

Is that what we're doing right now? Talking about how organic it is?

[Tom Griswold]

Now, wait a second. Maybe you can write one by the end of today's show. You know that classic David Bowie. Ground control to Major Tom.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, we've done that way too much.

[Tom Griswold]

We have.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

We've done that way.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't remember ever doing.

[Josh Arnold]

I've done that seven times, apparently.

[Tom Griswold]

@ home.

[Josh Arnold]

No toilets in space. I can play it for you.

[Tom Griswold]

How about this? Because we have. We had the return of Butch Wilmore and Suni Williams.

[Josh Arnold]

I did a space.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you see the. The parachutes go off? The landing is so cool.

[Chick McGee]

It is cool.

[Tom Griswold]

It's great. And as I mentioned yesterday, bad news for Butch and Suny.

[Christy Lee]

Bad News Bears.

[Tom Griswold]

They're recovering now. They're getting used to gravity. But they both have jury duty next week. It's like you talk about not getting a break. And of course, they're going to be touring this summer, remember, with the Indigo Girls.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Sonny and Butch.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes. Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Is that simply based on the word butch?

[Ace Cosby]

You know, I think that plays a big part.

[Christy Lee]

I think it's fair.

[Tom Griswold]

And you know something? I like the Indigo Girls.

[Christy Lee]

I love the Indigo Girls.

[Tom Griswold]

I like their music. I just think it would be funny if they were touring with.

[Christy Lee]

Go ahead. Go listen to a song named Tether and get back to me.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, good.

[Ace Cosby]

Lovely.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, Pat, how about this one? This is an easy one. You probably have a song for.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes. From yesterday.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

The Fake dentist.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. I had something clever, but not necessarily funny called Rogue Dental Hygienist.

[Chick McGee]

Well, let's hear it.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I think it would be iffy.

[Christy Lee]

Can I offer you some advice? I don't think this. This configuration really lends itself. Someone being a difficult, creative diva. Now, I know that I'm hoping 70% of this is put on.

[Josh Arnold]

Here's what I.

[Christy Lee]

But if any of this is real, you're. You're in trouble.

[Josh Arnold]

Here's what I had planned. Yesterday, you and Oscar had this conversation in the green room that inspired a song of. A song of mine that I wrote rather quickly.

[Tom Griswold]

What's it called?

[Josh Arnold]

Hypochondriac.

[Tom Griswold]

Play it. Play it right now, Right now, Right now. We have time.

[Christy Lee]

See, that's what we need, baby. Right now.

[Josh Arnold]

Do you remember what you guys are talking about?

[Christy Lee]

Nobody knows what's happening. Okay. Had some chest pain.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

The other day, and he was wondering, what is this? Is it angina?

[Frank Caliendo]

What?

[Christy Lee]

And I, we went through everything.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you go with angina or Angina.

[Christy Lee]

I say angina, but angina, I. I say both are correct.

[Tom Griswold]

Pat, you do that in your song. You say angina, I say, I understand.

[Christy Lee]

Why this wouldn't be helping, but. So we talked about that, and of course, Pat was within earshot. So naturally, Pat started getting all the symptoms because, of course.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

They call me hypochondriac.

[Christy Lee]

That's right.

[Josh Arnold]

Think I'm having a heart attack.

[Christy Lee]

That's bad.

[Josh Arnold]

I got a little freckle getting big on my back. Something's wrong with my right hand. Should I express my anal gland? Oh, I got that celiac. They say I'm a hypochondriac. Oscar's got glaucoma. I think I got it. Tom had a torn retina. I probably got two.

[Christy Lee]

Yep, yep.

[Josh Arnold]

Josh had appendicitis and right wrist arthritis. And as much as I try to fight it, I think I have bursitis, bronchitis, meningitis, hepatitis. I googled the symptoms, and I'm pretty sure I'm their latest victim. Like a retired old timer. I'm pretty sure I have Alzheimer's. I fought it and forgot it. Am I hypochondriac? Bet my arteries are lined with plaque. It's not psychosomatic. I'm a psycho maniac. I have two big round lumps in my ball sack. Oh, I might be a hypochondriac.

[Tom Griswold]

That was great. That wasn't a throwaway.

[Christy Lee]

Come on.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you.

[Josh Arnold]

That's what I had prepared yesterday.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you should have played it.

[Josh Arnold]

That's why I was pouting all day.

[Tom Griswold]

Would have gotten much, much better last.

[Josh Arnold]

I tried to.

[Tom Griswold]

All day.

[Christy Lee]

Take it from a. I'm trying. I'm trying really hard.

[Josh Arnold]

Take it from words and jokes and.

[Christy Lee]

Stories Take it from a reformed powder. I'm trying every day. It. It's a dead end, pal. Believe me, I know. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

That was very good, pet. I tried it very much, and it's really quite true for you. It is.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Right. What?

[Josh Arnold]

You know, these guys scared the heck out of me yesterday.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. There's a thing, I guess, for medical students that they. Some of them. They start reading about some of this stuff and all this, and they think they have the symptoms.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, sure.

[Tom Griswold]

We're all that way to a degree. Yeah. But that's a. That's a nice little song. Nice little happy song.

[Christy Lee]

Now go out and make it a great day.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Now let's. Let's talk about how we can enjoy life a lot better with the great sounds of this show or whatever you like to listen to in your Raycon earbuds.

[Christy Lee]

That's right, Tom. Raycon earbuds now have they've been updated with active noise cancellation capable of drowning out the most maddening of female sounds. I'm kidding, of course. Not just women. It's sometimes guys too rarely. But the latest model of Raycons, better than ever, 32 hour battery life, multi point connectivity. I call that the romantic connection where you can hear. Listen to this babe. What do you think? And you have both your Raycons, quick charge function 2, 10 minutes of charging, 90 minutes of battery and Raycons. Here's the key. Start at just half the price of other premium audio brands with those similar features. And Raycons come in swell colors, hip new happening colors. And raycons has a 30 day happiness guarantee return policy. So it's just this simple. Go to buyraycon.com tom and get 20% off the best selling everyday earbuds brought to you by Raycon. That's buyraycon.com Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much. Coming up, your letters. We have a stack of them.

[Christy Lee]

Oh yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, whatever you want to talk about, by all means, feel free to write us. Bobandtomobandtom.com youm'll find us here in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Ready to optimize your nutrition. This year, Factor has chef made gourmet meals that make eating well easy. They're dietitian approved and ready to heat and eat in two minutes so you can fuel right and feel great no matter what life throws at you.

[Chick McGee]

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[Tom Griswold]

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[Chick McGee]

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[Tom Griswold]

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[Christy Lee]

Welcome back to the Bob And Tom show. There's Pat Godwin and Christy Lee and Josh Arnold. Great flannel today on Josh.

[Ace Cosby]

Thanks very much, Chick.

[Christy Lee]

Nice. There's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick mcgee and we're in the o'reilly Auto Parts studios. And I'd just like to point out I gave Ace another gift today that I want pointed out so people could go, that Chick, he's just a wonderful person. Tom, do you see what that is?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. It's a half air filled football. It must be from the New England Patriots.

[Christy Lee]

It's a little.

[Josh Arnold]

Didn't even bother to fill it.

[Christy Lee]

It's a little flat. That's the way they arrived home. Of course, you can't keep all of them filled. You can't. It cuts down on how much room and how many footballs you get.

[Ace Cosby]

It's cheaper to ship because it's lighter.

[Chick McGee]

Ah, okay.

[Christy Lee]

Actually, I think it's lighter when it's filled with air.

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Chick McGee]

But you can get it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Why would that make sense?

[Christy Lee]

I think it might be we need.

[Tom Griswold]

A scientist on the staff of this show because if there's one thing we know nothing about, it's anything involving medicine or science.

[Chick McGee]

Sure.

[Ace Cosby]

I used to pack footballs. Rawlings had some for a while and oh yeah, they are deflated so that you can ship 12 in a box as opposed to three.

[Josh Arnold]

Ah, that makes sense.

[Chick McGee]

Sense.

[Tom Griswold]

I'll be darned.

[Christy Lee]

And I always thought that was some sort of riddle. It was like, what weighs more empty than it does full? And I think it's a football.

[Tom Griswold]

If you fill it with helium. I don't. These are all science. I don't know.

[Christy Lee]

Anyway, it's the Raiders Buccaneers at 2003 Super Bowl.

[Chick McGee]

Well, it's very kind, very nice.

[Christy Lee]

I was gonna. I was just gonna throw it away, so I thought I'd give a damn.

[Ace Cosby]

Why'd you get it in the first place?

[Christy Lee]

I have no idea. I don't know. Somebody sent it to me then and I, I don't. I, I forget why I have it, but I do. And I love the people in Ada, Ohio at Wilson Sporting Goods. They make all the NFL footballs. There's some dedicated deploy employee right now stretching the balls over that. That it looks like the front of a saddle on a horse. They stretch it over. Ever stretch your balls over and just sewing it up, you just can't help yourself.

[Tom Griswold]

I can't.

[Christy Lee]

My goodness.

[Tom Griswold]

But we were talking yesterday about situation in which someone that I know and I've done the same thing, although not to the extent in this case Start the car, back her up, and forget that the garage door is closed. Okay. I, I, I've actually done this, but I didn't do any damage. But if you're, obviously, if you really hit the gas hard enough, you can.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You can damage both your car and, of course, the garage door. This is a nice letter here. My friend in high school had a Cutlass old. This nice car, the Cutlass. Remember those Oldsmobiles?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they were pretty nice, actually.

[Chick McGee]

Very nice.

[Tom Griswold]

We were all in the car, pulled it to his mom's driveway and hit the gas when he meant to hit the brakes. Went through the wall into the kitchen. The impact through the range and the microwave all the way across the kitchen.

[Christy Lee]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

He was in a lot of trouble. So please be careful. One is the break. One, of course, is the accelerator, we call it. And we have lots of driver's ed stories coming up as well. Do you have any good letters over there?

[Christy Lee]

I do. Dear Papa, Dear Bob and Tom Show. My high school's driver's ed teacher was also our football and baseball coach. A few years before I got to high school, coach got into some trouble with the law. He was caught spotlighting deer. Apparently, that's illegal. You can't go out right.

[Ace Cosby]

Freeze them.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Essentially, you and you hit him with a big flashlight.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, let's see. There it is.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I see what you're saying.

[Tom Griswold]

I just spotlit a deer the other morning.

[Chick McGee]

I do it every morning on a major.

[Tom Griswold]

On a major highway.

[Christy Lee]

Well, now's your chance to, you know, light him up.

[Tom Griswold]

I almost bypassed the rifle option.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, you almost hit him.

[Christy Lee]

When I took his driver's ed class, he would separate the class into groups of four, and that would be the group he would take out at the same time to practice driving. He would let us name our groups. So my group called ourselves the Spotlighters. Needless to say, we had to change our name because he got very upset.

[Tom Griswold]

He didn't care for the.

[Christy Lee]

Did not care for that at all. Duvall High school, Duvall, West Virginia, class of 97.

[Ace Cosby]

Wow. Letter comes from our pal James. Wrote in with a driver. Zed story says when he was in driver's ed, the instructor was not a teacher, but was contracted through the school. We drove his personal car.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Ace Cosby]

It was outfitted with the brake pedal on the passenger side. Really? So he could slam on the brakes if needed. It was a 1980 Lincoln Continental with blown shocks, so whenever you hit a bump, the car would just bounce forever.

[Chick McGee]

So funny.

[Tom Griswold]

I had that guy in my Uber a Couple weeks ago, after my surgery, every pebble he ran over, like getting stabbed in the belly.

[Ace Cosby]

James says that the instructor had a gold tee, a golf tee, glued to the dashboard.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Ace Cosby]

And what you. What they would do is they would practice. They would took the final driving exam. He put a golf ball on the tee, which had to remain on it for the duration of the exam. So if the golf ball. They drove through town, parking in different spots, entering and exiting parking lots, and even got on the freeway.

[Tom Griswold]

That's great.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

It was an automatic fail of the golf ball.

[Christy Lee]

Well, it sounds like failed just because the shot.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Aren't most freeways inclines on the ramps?

[Tom Griswold]

Not that much. I would think you'd be okay.

[Ace Cosby]

It would be. The shocks would be the big issue there.

[Tom Griswold]

To give you an idea of how I drive, one time when I had.

[Christy Lee]

You were very rarely go over 40.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, not anymore. When I had the red Suburban. It's got that big short shelf bumper in the back. Oh.

[Christy Lee]

Like a big girl with a nice butt.

[Tom Griswold]

I drove. Yeah, yeah. Babies got back. So did my Suburban. I drove it to my old house, which is quite hilly, to get over there. Got home, was looking for my phone. It was on the rear bumper and it was still there. So there you go. I think I would have passed the golf ball.

[Ace Cosby]

I think so.

[Christy Lee]

How long were you driving with your phone on the bumper?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, what is it, four miles to my old house? The one that's over there.

[Christy Lee]

You were actually. Were you on the highway or just on city street? No, no.

[Tom Griswold]

On the curvy street we live still.

[Christy Lee]

Impressive.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

That's amazing.

[Tom Griswold]

I, I. And I didn't even know it was bad. I went to get something out of the back. Oh, there's my phone sitting on the bumper. I would have passed the golf ball test. I don't think I would now.

[Chick McGee]

Not in that car.

[Tom Griswold]

Now that I'm driving the car.

[Ace Cosby]

License to drive with the Coreys. Corey Feldman and Corey Hayne.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

He takes. The guy has a cup of coffee and he goes, if you spill one drop of my coffee and it's like filled to the brim.

[Christy Lee]

That was a cash grab.

[Tom Griswold]

Right now we have limited it to one Chuck Norris joke a day. Is that correct?

[Ace Cosby]

You have? Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm getting no go, Tom go response from you guys. But the listeners seem to love it at all.

[Christy Lee]

I don't think.

[Tom Griswold]

No way. Okay, here we go. Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn.

[Christy Lee]

No, he doesn't.

[Tom Griswold]

He simply stares at the grass and dares it to grow. Not a hitter, nothing.

[Ace Cosby]

No, no, dude. I mean, we're way over it. Yeah, way over it.

[Tom Griswold]

How about this one? Let me do a bonus.

[Ace Cosby]

If you like silence.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Because this, this is. This is right in your sphere because I know what you did yesterday afternoon.

[Ace Cosby]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Chuck Norris had an underwater breathing contest against a fish and one.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, sure. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, that's bad.

[Ace Cosby]

That is bad.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know what happened. This. We. We need to, like, talk to someone like a PhD or something in humor. But there is something, and you hit it. As soon as we started doing this. We've. We've heard these enough where no matter what they are, it could be Richard Pryor reading them and they're really fun. We just. Oh, yeah, huh? Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

There's an equation and one, right?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, well, I certainly enjoy them. Keep them coming.

[Christy Lee]

I applaud your keep them coming.

[Josh Arnold]

You really enjoy them.

[Tom Griswold]

I do. I love.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, now, you know what?

[Frank Caliendo]

We have to.

[Ace Cosby]

We have to go directly to Mark who gives Tom the emails, and we have to beg him not to give him any more of these.

[Christy Lee]

Well, but, Mark, here's Tom.

[Ace Cosby]

I know, I know.

[Christy Lee]

I don't blame him.

[Ace Cosby]

But now we. Mark, we have to hurt you if you don't listen to us.

[Tom Griswold]

But you know how much I love a hack premise and putting a new spin on an old standard.

[Frank Caliendo]

I like it, too.

[Josh Arnold]

But no news.

[Tom Griswold]

We've had some brand. We had a brand new one yesterday. Had something to do with the contemporary news scene, so. But we'll continue. I'm enjoying your. Never mind. I'll move on by myself.

[Ace Cosby]

I simply don't believe you.

[Tom Griswold]

If you're just joining us. Thank you so much. Welcome to the Bob and Tom Show. We are coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. And did you have another letter over there?

[Christy Lee]

Hey, I'm Tom for Fort Wayne. My driver's ed instructor was high school assistant baseball coach and I was the manager. We got into the car and drove out. I was told to go to McDonald's, drive through. I did what I was told to do. I ordered a hot black coffee, which I paid for. I was told if he spilled it. If he spilled it while I was driving, I would fail. Then we drove on the most bumpy country roads he could find. I passed. This is the same coach working a festival at my High School in DeKalb, Illinois. A helicopter landed and he walked over and charged the pilot $25 to park there. And evidently he got the 25 bucks.

[Chick McGee]

There's a Lot going on right there. Wow.

[Christy Lee]

Josh. Josh, you're amazing.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, well, thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm glad that ended well. I, I, I thought there was going to be a Vic Morrow, end of that thing.

[Christy Lee]

Well, now it's almost as if there was with you saying, first of all.

[Tom Griswold]

25 bucks to park a helicopter seems kind of light.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, Frank does.

[Tom Griswold]

I would think four or five hundred dollars.

[Christy Lee]

Well, I think in that equation you'd have to think, what is he going to believe that we charge for parking for helicopters here and if it's too much, he won't give it to me?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Pick the right amount.

[Tom Griswold]

Welcome to Logan, Utah.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, great.

[Christy Lee]

Beautiful country, Logan. This is that I have to make a poopy.

[Ace Cosby]

All right, Doc.

[Tom Griswold]

This is from Mr. Grant, our instructor in Logan, Utah, at the north end of the state. I grabbed a couple students, we got him to the highway heading north. And he said, kid, drive until I tell you to turn. He then put his head back and fell asleep. They ran out of fuel in Pocatello, Idaho. Thank you, Roy. Appreciate the letter.

[Ace Cosby]

You guys remember yesterday I referenced a restaurant in the when I was growing up called Naugles?

[Josh Arnold]

Of course.

[Ace Cosby]

And it was a Mexican place. Check this out. Joseph writes in. Just wanted to let you know Naugles Tacos and burgers still exists. Hey, they got bought out by Del Taco, which means of the Taco.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Ace Cosby]

But they still have a couple restaurants in Southern California. Isn't that something? Yeah, I gotta go to Naugles when I'm. Next time I'm in.

[Christy Lee]

We gotta travel more, Tom.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, more shows.

[Tom Griswold]

We were talking about Mexican restaurants because apparently there's a movement to bring back Chi Chi's. Which Chichi's was kind of a generic Fridays like chain of Mexico.

[Chick McGee]

Never been to a chichi.

[Tom Griswold]

I have been to a chichi.

[Ace Cosby]

Do they have fried ice cream?

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Ace Cosby]

Wasn't that a hell of a dessert?

[Chick McGee]

Hell of a dessert.

[Christy Lee]

Never, never had it.

[Tom Griswold]

They folded what, 20 years ago or something? Probably there were a couple hundred of them.

[Chick McGee]

They still sell their stuff in the stores though. Yeah, salsa and queso.

[Tom Griswold]

They're talking about opening up the restaurants again. And as I pointed out, this is for cities that don't have a Mexican restaurant within two miles of every single home.

[Christy Lee]

It does seem like we are over a Mexican restaurant.

[Josh Arnold]

And they're all good.

[Ace Cosby]

And I'd argue this. Yeah, they are all good because they're all the exact same. They all, they all pretty much taste and I don't know how authentic they are really.

[Josh Arnold]

There's two.

[Ace Cosby]

I think some of the trucks are really off.

[Josh Arnold]

There's two by us that are amazing.

[Christy Lee]

I think you're onto something there. Yeah, I think the truck.

[Tom Griswold]

I think most of them.

[Ace Cosby]

Chichi's tasted different than all those other Mexican races, which is why it was popular.

[Tom Griswold]

Popular.

[Ace Cosby]

And I know I said Mexican race there and I meant restaurant.

[Tom Griswold]

No, you said. Right, you mean race.

[Chick McGee]

I think you would think you are.

[Christy Lee]

I think you are the entire Mexican race. They're better cooks than we are. We all know.

[Ace Cosby]

No doubt, no doubt.

[Tom Griswold]

I think we used to say the same thing about Chinese restaurants. Have you ever been to a bad one?

[Christy Lee]

Do you know that some or most Chinese restaurants close on Tuesday? What's that?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

What the hell is that about?

[Chick McGee]

I don't know.

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Go ahead, discuss. You know something. The one I go. You're right. The one I go to does weird. Right? And why do all haircut places close on Monday? Well, because they're busy and couldn't you have a really good business if you called it a haircut place Mondays?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, maybe.

[Tom Griswold]

For those that. These are all great ideas.

[Christy Lee]

Think of a restaurant with that. I look back fondly on. Except Lums, where they made their hot dog steamed in beer. You remember Lums?

[Chick McGee]

I remember Lums.

[Christy Lee]

L as in Larry. U M as in Mary. S. Lums. They had giant pretzels and. And I thought you could get drunk eating a hot dog.

[Tom Griswold]

I could give you a list of 20 restaurants I missed greatly.

[Christy Lee]

No kidding.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, absolutely.

[Chick McGee]

From your childhood or from now.

[Tom Griswold]

The cooker. Remember the bus biscuits they had? That was great. I think there are a few of those left.

[Christy Lee]

Flaky Jake's, I think is the chain. I missed that. You go in and just load up a bun.

[Tom Griswold]

What was the one. What was the one that. When you walked in they had huge signs saying no photography allowed.

[Josh Arnold]

Fuddruckers.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, Fuddruck. That's like the worst pr. You walk in and they're immediately you're greeted with hostility.

[Chick McGee]

Why couldn't you take a picture?

[Ace Cosby]

The fuddruggers in St. Louis did not have that sign.

[Tom Griswold]

It was a real big deal. And the one here opened and closed just like that. They were on the front page of the magazine, blah blah. And they were gone in a year or two.

[Ace Cosby]

It was good. It was big wedge fries.

[Tom Griswold]

But why would you prohibit too much potato?

[Josh Arnold]

The design. Maybe they didn't want to copy it or something.

[Alex Lifeson]

I don't know.

[Ace Cosby]

Weird.

[Christy Lee]

Anyway, stealing their secrets.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I guess their secret was early bankruptcy.

[Christy Lee]

You know as sure as I'm sitting here, I bet someone, maybe an advertising agency thought, you know, that'll cast an air of elitists if. Well, don't let them.

[Tom Griswold]

We all know about advertising agency people.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Who's got the Nerf hoop this week?

[Ace Cosby]

Ah, meetings. We're just spitballing here, all right? We've got the idea baton.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, well, you actually live that life.

[Ace Cosby]

You guys have had to suffer through them, too.

[Christy Lee]

Who's gonna make me look good? Come on.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, this is a nice letter from Kevin. This kind of references one of the most famous movies we were talking about recently.

[Christy Lee]

Never gotten along with anyone named Kev.

[Chick McGee]

My brother in law's name, Kevin. He's the nicest guy on the planet.

[Christy Lee]

Case in point, hate him.

[Tom Griswold]

79 is the year I was 16, writes Kevin from Oregon. Yeah, Our high school driver's ed car was on loan from a local car dealership. It was a 79 Pontiac Trans Am.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, cool.

[Tom Griswold]

Our instructor had us cruise up and down the main drag in our small little town.

[Christy Lee]

I believe that's the one. The same one Bandit had. I don't know. Yeah, 79.

[Tom Griswold]

But that's great. Having a cool car for driver's ed. That's rare.

[Chick McGee]

Very.

[Tom Griswold]

We always. We had really generic, sort of semi compact, four door. Our.

[Christy Lee]

Our driver's ed car looked like the cars from Dragnet. Like the big Fords with the huge.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, like a Crown Vic.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, you know, you remember Dragnet?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that famous melody, Jack Webb.

[Christy Lee]

Famous.

[Tom Griswold]

The great Jack Webb.

[Christy Lee]

That sends chills down.

[Josh Arnold]

What an earworm that is.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, sir.

[Josh Arnold]

It's gonna be with me all day now.

[Ace Cosby]

When I hear the real one, I'm gonna go, that's not Dragnet.

[Christy Lee]

The hell is that?

[Tom Griswold]

We'd love to get your letters. You can reach us Bob [e-mail]. oh, I was supposed to mention this on the Bob and Tom website. We have photographs of our new T shirts. And let's see. Oh, here we go. Right on top. We've got the T shirt that we're going to be selling in Cincinnati. This is. What is it? Thursday, March 27th. We're going to be at the Smoke justice restaurant a week from today.

[Josh Arnold]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, and you can actually buy these online if you want. And the cool thing about these T shirts is I bought them, I paid for them.

[Christy Lee]

But guess what? Hey, everybody. He bought him.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay?

[Christy Lee]

Everybody got that? He's. He paid money for him.

[Frank Caliendo]

He paid for him.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, then I'm gonna sell them. Oh, yeah, and I'm not Keeping the money.

[Ace Cosby]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

We're giving the money away.

[Christy Lee]

Well, that's. Your business is gonna fail.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. This is not how business is supposed to work. No, but it's because these are going. The money is going to such a cool charity.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Excited about this?

[Christy Lee]

If you go to the Bob and Tom website, one of the first pictures is Bert Kreischer in his green under. From, from the back.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. But we got our pop up store up there and then the ones. The ones for Toledo, we're going to donate that money to the Ronald McDonald House. The charity in Cincinnati. It's the Cincinnati Children's Hospital. It's a special aspect of it in which. How does it work, Christy? They actually buy little.

[Chick McGee]

They make little superhero pajamas kind of cape things that the kids wear on the way to surgery or it's so cool treatments or.

[Tom Griswold]

And some of us have had to be there when our kids have had to go to and just a great idea. So we're happy to donate it and if you want to be part of it, you can come grab those shirts when we're there or I think you can actually order them online. I don't know if you'll get them on time.

[Ace Cosby]

Hey, do you want a gown or do you want to be Batman?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Great idea.

[Tom Griswold]

I think the next phase of this. Because today's show is our idea show they should do this for adults.

[Chick McGee]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast, Smart Choice. Progressive loves to help people make smart choices. That's why they offer a tool called Auto Quote Explorer that allows you to compare your Progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies. So you save time on the research and can enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you. Give it a try after this [e-mail] progressive casualty insurance insurance company and affiliates.

[Tom Griswold]

Not available in all states or situations.

[Chick McGee]

Prices vary based on how you buy.

[Tom Griswold]

Because I've had to have surgery. And I'll tell you what, there's those gowns. I don't know how they design them but it's. They think they size you up and go, okay, if we make it this length, his balls will be visible from the back.

[Christy Lee]

I've never had that problem. I've always had them long enough. But yeah, it's hello, ass.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm sure there's some technical reason like access to. Never mind. But yeah, check that out. It's at the. @bombandtom.com I just, just found out those have been posted. So just Having some fun and doing something that I think will be really cool. Now, where were we? What's next? I'm lost.

[Christy Lee]

You're going to tell people about the fabulous.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, sure.

[Tom Griswold]

This portion of the Bible Tom show brought you by. Better help.

[Christy Lee]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Speaking of great ideas, this is a really smart, smart move making therapy a lot more accessible by having the therapy performed online. So if you've been thinking about checking out some therapy or working on yourself a little bit on now, you can do it in a much more elegant manner if you ask me because you don't have to whatever, take the bus or drive across town and get into a room with someone you don't know and then start talking because it's done online. It's a little bit sort of removing some of those barriers to accessing therapy. Maybe you're looking at setting up some boundaries in your, in your personal life or dealing with a trauma or just on a day to day basis you'd like just a little bit of assistance. This is where therapy can be extraordinarily useful. Build up your support system with better help. Better help. Like I said, the therapy's done online. So you can do it wherever you want to be when you do it. You can do it on your smartphone or on a laptop or whatever desktop. You can do it like a zoom call or even just talking back and forth like a phone call or texting back forth. It's up to you. Visit betterhelp.com btshow betterhelp.com, that's betterhelp H E L P betterhelp.com btshow the btshowpartal knock 10% off your first month. Now you'll fill out a questionnaire online and then you'll be set up with one of some 30,000 plus credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties. You can switch therapists anytime by the way. No extra costs are involved and more than 5 million people are already working with BetterHelp. So if you've been thinking about it, this is a great option for you. BetterHelp.com BT show coming up in sports.

[Christy Lee]

Coming up in sports, we're gonna have a NCAA tournament action last night. We'll talk about it. Nit action. Maybe Tom will offer you some insight as to who's going to win that tournament. I hate to nitpick and Netflix quarterbacks. The new season starting and I'll tell you who's going to be featured from the NFL.

[Tom Griswold]

And speaking of Netflix, don't forget that we got the Bird Kreischer thing up and running. It's called Lucky. Bert's show just popped up a couple days ago on Netflix. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Al Jackson]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you.

[Christy Lee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Hello.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello.

[Christy Lee]

We're at the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Thank O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts, parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Hello, Tom, how are you?

[Tom Griswold]

Good. We have an issue in the building right now.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, well, I'm going. I'm gonna tell you right now, you're going down the wrong. You're going down the wrong street. Ace is not gonna take responsibility. It wasn't his fault. Latest is it was the popcorn bag that was the problem. It wasn't him.

[Ace Cosby]

The bags at 230.

[Christy Lee]

There we go.

[Ace Cosby]

And about 210 I pulled it. Well, what's the main issue here?

[Tom Griswold]

That it stinks.

[Christy Lee]

The buildings and we were burned. We were debating whether Josh's COD that he cooked in the microwave or Ace's popcorn that he burned in the microwave smelled worse.

[Ace Cosby]

I say the COD all the way out.

[Christy Lee]

I contend the popcorn.

[Tom Griswold]

But it leads me to a possible topic.

[Christy Lee]

Yes?

[Tom Griswold]

Is the term Olafactory the one I want to use?

[Ace Cosby]

Right. Just Olafactory.

[Christy Lee]

I think Olafactory is in Italy.

[Tom Griswold]

Italy. Okay. Thank you. The worst olfactory experience of your life, I can tell you. I've got a couple of them. Chick will know one of them.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, I know one of them.

[Tom Griswold]

We were in the Bahamas and there was a place, there was an island you could get to go to. You'd get on a boat, they would take you there and drop you off for like, was it four or five hours? And they come back and get you.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

And they're on the island.

[Tom Griswold]

Dozens of people on the boat. We get to the island and the stench of the island. Apparently it was something about a low tide.

[Chick McGee]

Was it red tide?

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, it was. It was like being in a sewer.

[Christy Lee]

It was. And you could swim with the dolphins?

[Tom Griswold]

Basically, yeah. What you do, never do that. They, the dolphins were being kept in cages. It was awful. I feel terrible.

[Christy Lee]

I'm not making this up. But dolphins are horny.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, they are.

[Christy Lee]

They're very horny.

[Tom Griswold]

And they would, they said, especially ladies, the dolphin. They Said, don't touch them down there, if you will.

[Chick McGee]

Well, who's gonna grab a dolphin?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, people do, because people are. That swimming with the dolphins thing, don't ever do that. It's cruel to the animals.

[Christy Lee]

And I think they especially. They also made an announcement that if any of the women were on their cycle, the dolphins would know.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, really?

[Tom Griswold]

It was. But the other aspect of it's because of whatever was happening, it was so terrible to be stuck with this odor. And there was nothing you could do. But if you saw a picture postcard, you go, oh, look at that. The palm trees, the sun. It was awful. The other terrible one in my life was I was painting a place and it was next to a silo and the silage was rotting.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, that can get real bad.

[Tom Griswold]

That was rough. But I think. I'm sure people out there have had terrible experiences.

[Christy Lee]

There's a third one you're not mentioning.

[Ace Cosby]

I believe you. I do.

[Christy Lee]

Didn't you date someone from a Circle circus?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, we've heard that story.

[Christy Lee]

And God love you. You went ahead, you. You powered through.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but there was some vomiting involved.

[Ace Cosby]

See, that had to have been the worst one because you actually puked.

[Tom Griswold]

I did, actually.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But then I was able to get away.

[Christy Lee]

But he went ahead. That's the most guy thing on the planet.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, you're young, you know.

[Christy Lee]

Damn right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I'm. You know me, I'm devoted.

[Christy Lee]

Damn right.

[Tom Griswold]

Get up early, come into work every day. Same thing with that.

[Christy Lee]

Some mornings you get up and vomit.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that was. Boy, that was rough. But that I was able to get away from that. The worst aspect of that story was when leaving the motel, my car stalled and it wouldn't restart, and I had to push it to a nearby garage without going back into El Stinco. Anyway, that's a very long story.

[Christy Lee]

Is that a cute nickname for you?

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a minute.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know this story. This woman who worked at a circus.

[Chick McGee]

No, we'll tell you off the air.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, the beginning.

[Tom Griswold]

You've heard the beginning. This is true.

[Ace Cosby]

What was her job at the service circus?

[Tom Griswold]

Pr.

[Christy Lee]

She.

[Ace Cosby]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

She brought the clown.

[Tom Griswold]

She brought the clown in.

[Christy Lee]

Radio show.

[Tom Griswold]

So we're on. She brings this clown, and it was one of those lesser circuses, much like the one Jeff Rothban talks about on his famous building.

[Josh Arnold]

Every part of the story.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, it's.

[Tom Griswold]

And she brings this clown in. It's whatever, seven in the morning. She brings this clown in. And the guy comes in, you know, he's smoking a cigarette.

[Christy Lee]

How you doing? What's your name?

[Tom Griswold]

We're talking back and forth and I forget what his name was. And, you know, Blozo or something, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And this is the honest to God truth. I wish I had a tape of this. So then with us, the music we're playing ends. And I said to him, okay, we've got so and so here from Bum Up Circus. So tell me, what kind of clown stuff do you do? Honestly? Got ankh. He wouldn't talk.

[Christy Lee]

Honk, honk, honk, honk.

[Tom Griswold]

Non talking clown character. So you. Then I just might have dalliance with El Stinko.

[Ace Cosby]

And you were shocked that the carny smelled bad.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

There you go.

[Christy Lee]

But she. But she was in management.

[Ace Cosby]

You would think you're still in the carny world.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

She was more in the fish world.

[Josh Arnold]

Was she attractive?

[Christy Lee]

You know what? You know what?

[Chick McGee]

I hope she was attractive.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

She was primarily attracting flies.

[Christy Lee]

Lesson learned. Okay.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, boy. It was rough. Sorry. So I'm. I guess my question is for the folks listening. We certainly appreciate your being here with us.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

We've been talking about driver's ed a lot lately. If you have had a. An experience where there was something involved, especially where it was a smell you couldn't get away from, like you were stuck in. Whatever. A situation where for hours you had to breathe in stinky air.

[Christy Lee]

There's a town in Southern Ohio called. Kind of Southern Ohio, called Chillicothe, Ohio. And they have a. They have a paper plant there.

[Ace Cosby]

That's really something.

[Christy Lee]

And I don't know if it's still. But I used to have to go through there reading, writing, and Route 23. And I take 23 south to go to.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that can be released. And then also some of the. What are they called? The holding ponds for manure and some.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, those are bad pig farmers.

[Ace Cosby]

Years ago, the band Fish was playing at the Amphitheater and they had camping right there behind.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Ace Cosby]

The venue. And I pulled in the fourth night, and the smell of sweat, sweaty humans permeated the air. Yeah. That doesn't shock.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that sounds pretty much on the nose. Sounds fish.

[Chick McGee]

Like.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

One time I was backstage getting ready to introduce Bruce Hornsby, and I was waiting for Mr. Hornsby to show up, and I had to go to the bathroom. So I went to the Porta John, and I'm standing there waiting. Or someone's in there and. And open the door, and sure enough, that's just the way it is. Here he comes. Bruce Hornsby comes out of. And I go hey, I'm going to introduce you. Oh, thanks a lot. He walks by and I with the worst smelling.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, it's a ported John. It's not necessarily Mr. Hornsby's contribution.

[Christy Lee]

It might have been. He blew it off the way it is. The pre show mandolin wind smelled like a mandolin covered in crap. Boy that's a great song, Mandy.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, okay. We'd love to hear from you on any topic. Also bob and tom.com we've got our little pop up store up including those really cool charity shirts for Toledo and Cincinnati for our coming soon visits. Coming up in sports we have what.

[Christy Lee]

National God men's NCAA tournaments coming up today in basketball. What's, what's coming up?

[Tom Griswold]

Up. Everything starts. I'm underscoring the aspect that I don't remember what he said 10 minutes ago.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I no, but I don't know why you have to go. Tom, what's coming up? As if you're trying to catch me off guard, which never happens. You're the one who's never prepared. We've got rules changes coming up in the NFL. Maybe some of them are as good as Josh's suggestions for defensive pass interference.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, good. We'll look forward to all those things. We are in the now.

[Christy Lee]

I'm dismissed. Tom is if there's anything I can do for you during this commercial, you let me know, buddy.

[Tom Griswold]

Be quiet.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios.

[Christy Lee]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Al Jackson]

Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Get a look at today's show on our YouTube channel.

[Tom Griswold]

Listeners, are you looking for a shortcut to better auto insurance for you? Something that takes all the research off your plate, Something that's easy, something that matches you at lower rates, something genius. That's where Nerd Wallet comes in. These nerds have already done the work for you. Just answer a few questions and ta da. You'll be matched with top insurance providers in your area. Find the right rate for you [e-mail]. after all, using NerdWallet is more than just smart.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's genius.

[Tom Griswold]

Not all applicants will qualify for the lowest monthly payments. NerdWallet Insurance Services, Inc. CA resident license number OK9233.

[Christy Lee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the SILAC Insurance news desk. Hello, there's Pat Godwin. Hey, there's Josh Arnold.

[Ace Cosby]

Hi there.

[Christy Lee]

There's Ace Cosby. That joke of the day coming down the pike any second. I'm chicken gee. @theorangeinsouls.com sports desk. And we are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. And here he is. He hasn't slept since the time change changed. It's Tom Griswold.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, now, so we've determined the word is olfactory.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes, sir.

[Tom Griswold]

Smell. We were talking about possible situations you may have been in in which there was a. A stench of some sort. I forgot the one time I. I had some groceries in my car that I forgot were in there.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, no.

[Christy Lee]

How long. How long did I like the weekend.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, the next day, I. Yeah, there was some salmon in the. Oh, that was rough, but it's rough. Yeah, but Pat was telling me, and I did the same. We had a babysitter that put some popcorn in the microwave and inadvertently hit 20 instead of two minutes and had to throw the microwave away.

[Christy Lee]

Check out the.

[Tom Griswold]

Couldn't get the smell out.

[Christy Lee]

Check out the Pat Godwin story. Pat.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, when the microwaves weren't quite as easy.

[Christy Lee]

I didn't. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Josh Arnold]

They're easy now.

[Christy Lee]

You were gonna. You're gonna make microwave popcorn Corn. Go ahead.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Three minutes and it was. I put on 30 minutes and just ruined. The whole microwave was on fire.

[Tom Griswold]

Apartment was ruined.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my God.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, not good.

[Ace Cosby]

And don't forget, you don't get to enjoy a bag of popcorn after that.

[Josh Arnold]

Never again. It's easy now. Express Cook.

[Tom Griswold]

1, 2.

[Ace Cosby]

Sometimes they even have a popcorn button.

[Josh Arnold]

It's boom.

[Christy Lee]

Well, they do have a popcorn.

[Chick McGee]

Listen to the popcorn. Don't go by the numbers.

[Ace Cosby]

I'm with you, Christy.

[Chick McGee]

You got to listen. Stop slowing. Start slowing down. You pull it out.

[Christy Lee]

Always go by the numbers.

[Chick McGee]

It starts slowing down, you pull it out.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I still like the Jiffy Pop.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Can you even get that? Yes. I think the Stove Top is.

[Christy Lee]

Well, first of all, you have to get a time machine.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

And then when you get out at.

[Tom Griswold]

1973, it's so fun because you get. You get that globe, that aluminum foil globe that you can put on your head like you're a Martian and go.

[Christy Lee]

Wow, where do you have.

[Josh Arnold]

Never done Jiffy Pop.

[Chick McGee]

Jiffy Pop.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Well, okay, when I ask, where do you get it? And you answer me with, they have it. I don't know.

[Ace Cosby]

When I got the popcorn that burned today, I admire.

[Frank Caliendo]

It was right there.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, we never had it growing up. We had a. We had an actual popcorn.

[Tom Griswold]

That's even better.

[Christy Lee]

They make a very nice. It's called the Whirly Pop.

[Chick McGee]

I have one.

[Christy Lee]

And you get to put the popcorn in there with your.

[Tom Griswold]

Your spin it and you crank it.

[Christy Lee]

So much fun.

[Chick McGee]

It is great.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, it's time for this program to get to the down to the business of sports with Chick Magee.

[Christy Lee]

NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament the 64 teams are set because last night Marcus Foster scored 22 points and Zach Fremantle had 15 and overcoming foul trouble as Xavier rallied past Texas 8680 in a first four game at UD arena in Dayton. Xavier Musketeers is. I am Porthos. I am Porthos.

[Tom Griswold]

I love Anos.

[Christy Lee]

D'Artagnan.

[Ace Cosby]

The d'Artagnan is. Yeah, you've got. Who is the fourth? It's the most probus.

[Christy Lee]

I don't remember.

[Tom Griswold]

Rectus.

[Ace Cosby]

It is Rectus.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Vagus. I'm sorry.

[Christy Lee]

The Lady Musketeer Illinois on Friday in Milwaukee. And the other. Sorry, the other. First game last night. Dola Odebayo and Jetty Cordilla each scored 22. Is Mount Saint Mary's. No. Just shaking hands.

[Tom Griswold]

By the way, I know you're going with Xavier, which I.

[Christy Lee]

Is that because that's the correct way to do it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. So this Xavier thing I keep hearing is Hill Jack.

[Christy Lee]

I can speak Hill Jack if you'd like. You know what happened? Xavier, they beat their asses last night. You knew it was going to happen.

[Tom Griswold]

I knew it.

[Christy Lee]

Dicky and I were there.

[Ace Cosby]

I was playing my xylophone and I said.

[Christy Lee]

I said xavier's my favorite basketball team. Get over here. Are you.

[Tom Griswold]

Your ex wife won a million dollars.

[Christy Lee]

In the lottery on the Exile.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'll kill her.

[Ace Cosby]

Geez, that's a dark side.

[Christy Lee]

I didn't know the Dicky Boys buried people. Anyway, Mount St. Mary's beat American University, where I. I was bounded. I wanted to go to American University so bad in Washington D.C. i just. And then apparently, as I understand it, I was too stupid to get into.

[Chick McGee]

No, I don't believe that.

[Christy Lee]

I. I think that might have been the case. Anyway, Mount St. Mary's wins 8372 and NIT wonders last night. North Texas SMU, Bradley, George Mason, Dayton Flyers win. Advanced in NIT. UC Irvine. Irvine. UC Irvine R. Levine. UAB Loyola Chicago and Sister Jean's happy.

[Tom Griswold]

Hang on. Anyone get the Irving R. Levine reference? Yeah, of course not. Ace. What was he famous for?

[Ace Cosby]

Some kind of broadcaster on cbs, I believe.

[Tom Griswold]

But he did what?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. You're so smart. What did he do?

[Tom Griswold]

He always wore a bow tie.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, okay. Yeah, that's something I would have known.

[Tom Griswold]

Is anybody doing that. Now, is there a. There's usually one guy. No, but I mean on tv. Is there a bow tie guy right now?

[Chick McGee]

There's a weather guy here in town locally.

[Ace Cosby]

One basketball dude does, doesn't he? Bald, tall, white guy, goes with a. Isn't he often wearing a bow tie?

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a odd thing.

[Chick McGee]

What's wrong with it? I think it's cool.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I think it's nice. It's always nice to have, like, one or two bow tie guys. As long as they don't have a banjo and one of those garter belts on their sleeve.

[Ace Cosby]

Didn't Senator Paul Simon always wear a bow tie?

[Christy Lee]

I enjoyed Senator Paul Simon voice.

[Tom Griswold]

I particularly like it with the photograph of him with Art Garfunkel.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Very confused.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, it was confusing.

[Christy Lee]

Frost bank center in San Antonio last night. The spurs win 121,05 over the new York Nets. Next. Nick, I mentioned this to tell you Sandro Mamu went off. He had 34 points. He only missed one shot, 13 of 14 from the floor. And guess who. Mamu. Kailashvili's all right. Number one fan is.

[Ace Cosby]

Can we reopen Ellis Island?

[Frank Caliendo]

That's right.

[Ace Cosby]

I mean, you're now Bill Davis.

[Christy Lee]

Flavor Flav was right. There's Mamu, everybody.

[Ace Cosby]

I'm so excited. My family's here.

[Christy Lee]

My family's here.

[Tom Griswold]

It's an unbelievable night.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you, everybody, for coming out.

[Ace Cosby]

We love you guys. Have you ever seen a shooting performance like this before?

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, let me tell you something.

[Christy Lee]

I don't care what nobody say. My man is on fire. All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Christy Lee]

We covered that. That. Just because.

[Tom Griswold]

That's funny.

[Christy Lee]

Flavor Flav.

[Tom Griswold]

How tall is that guy, by the way?

[Chick McGee]

Very.

[Christy Lee]

He's close to seven.

[Tom Griswold]

He makes Flava Flav look like he's four feet tall.

[Ace Cosby]

Isn't it weird that flavor flavors Eskimo Brothers with Sylvester Stallone?

[Josh Arnold]

All right. Dip their wick in the same well.

[Christy Lee]

Goodness gracious. Sakes alive. That's correct.

[Ace Cosby]

Weird.

[Tom Griswold]

Does he wear the clock in bed? Good.

[Christy Lee]

He had the. He had the. He had the clock on there.

[Tom Griswold]

That's his thing.

[Chick McGee]

He's got to. Right.

[Christy Lee]

It's on brand. Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Is it always a clock with hands or does he ever have, like, digital?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know. I think it's all. Always has hands.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Ace Cosby]

He had a grandfather clock for a while, but it hurt his back.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, Makes sense.

[Christy Lee]

Take a step. Drag the clock.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, all the. All the sporting activities. What could one do to make it a little more fun?

[Christy Lee]

Prize picks. That's right, the second half of the basketball season is here, both pro and college, and the race to the playoffs. And the tournament is heating up. The best place to cash in on your favorite sports, prize picks. Over 10 million members and billions of dollars in awarded winnings, Prize Picks has made daily Fantasy sports more accessible and that app for Prize Picks so easy to use. Just pick two or more players across any sport. Pick more or less on their projection. You could win up to a thousand times your money. Don't miss your chance to cash in as the league's best fight for playoff positioning. Join prizepix, America's number one daily fantasy sports app, available to play in more than 40 states, including California and Texas. Download the Prizepix app today and use the code TOM and get $50 in bonus promo funds instantly when you play $5. That's code TOM on Prizepix and you get $50 in bonus promo funds Instantly when you play $5. Win or lose, you get 50 bucks in credit just for playing guaranteed Prize picks run your game must be present in certain states. Visit prizepix.com for restrictions and details.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, comedian Frank Caliendo will be joining us. Also comedian Al Jackson and one of the guitar greats, Alex Lifeson, formerly of the great band Rush. Looking forward to all those guys. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom. You need parts. O'Reilly Auto Parts has parts. Need them fast. We've got fast. No matter what you need. We have thousands of professional parts people doing their part to make sure you have it. Product availability. Just one part that makes O'Reilly stand apart. The professional parts people.

[Josh Arnold]

Auto parts.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the SILAC Insurance news desk.

[Chick McGee]

Hello.

[Christy Lee]

There's Pat Godwin. Hey, hello. Josh Arnold.

[Ace Cosby]

Hey, trickster.

[Christy Lee]

There's Ace Cosby.

[Ace Cosby]

Hey, buddy.

[Christy Lee]

We've got the Ace Cosby joke of the week coming up here in just.

[Tom Griswold]

Joke of the day.

[Chick McGee]

You keep trying.

[Christy Lee]

I think it's the week. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom. And we have a special guest.

[Tom Griswold]

Now the handsome factor's going way up in this room. Frank Caliendo is here with us. Veteran standup comedian Frank Caliendo. We knew Frank when he wasn't a veteran standup comedian. He was a brand new stand up comedian, baby.

[Chick McGee]

Comedian.

[Tom Griswold]

A probie comedian. Yeah, yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm going with a new moniker, Frankie C. Yeah, yeah. It seems to have not taken off. All right.

[Tom Griswold]

I like it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Let's. I thought after Flavor Flav I had a chance, but apparently not with this group.

[Tom Griswold]

That's your hip hop name?

[Frank Caliendo]

Frankie C. I just, just. I'm more hop than hip hop. Just the second half. Just hop.

[Tom Griswold]

More hop. Scotch, very.

[Frank Caliendo]

Little hip very. And just light on the hop.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, Very good. Your tour starts in April, right? You're gonna be in Dallas, is that correct?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, Dallas Anderson Improv, April 3rd. Houston Improv, April 5th and 6th. Then I go Louisville, which I learned yesterday. I was on sports radio in the afternoon yesterday. I made sure. I said, I said Louisville. Louisville. I got it right. There were like seven different options that I had, but I made sure to say Louisville and then Fort Wayne, Indianapolis, Columbus, Cincinnati, and then Columbus. Cool.

[Chick McGee]

Good.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, it's a fun run. FrankOnStage.com for tickets. And we added Al Jackson to the show because Al's adding himself to everybody's show.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Got some free time.

[Frank Caliendo]

Al needs work, but it's great. That was perfect because I was like, well, we'll put you on as a special guest. And then they'll be like. He's like, yeah, it sounds like extra. I'm like, yeah, absolutely. Buy one, get one free.

[Tom Griswold]

That's cool.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, and Willie's on those shows too, you know. Willie G. Good.

[Tom Griswold]

Willie G. See, that sounds legit. Yeah, that sounds like kind of like a hip hop MC type name. What was yours again?

[Frank Caliendo]

Frankie C. You just take my first name and last initial and it creates the moniker.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, Frankie C. Sounds more like an Italian restaurant.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hey, welcome to Frankie C. You gonna.

[Tom Griswold]

Like the food or you're gonna die?

[Chick McGee]

That's why we call you Tommy G. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

If you see somebody drive by, duck.

[Tom Griswold]

Frank, it's good to see you. You're joining us right in the middle of the. The award nominated Chip McGee sports broadcast.

[Christy Lee]

We got an NFL thing here. The Vikings have committed to moving forward with JJ McCarthy as their starting quarterback this season. Apparently have said through back channels or they haven't been very public about it, but the message is getting out there. There they are not in the Aaron Rogers market. So that leaves the New York Giants or the Pittsburgh Steelers is what everyone's saying where he. Where Aaron will end up this season. And of course that's one of the first signs of off season. Aaron doesn't know where he's going to play. And then we sit around, we wait and he's making it, you know, he's walking on the beach. He's close to a decision. He's having ayahuasca he's in.

[Frank Caliendo]

I heard he was looking through the JFK files. You hear about that?

[Christy Lee]

Released them yesterday. Yesterday.

[Frank Caliendo]

Tell you what's Aaron, right? That's got Aaron Rodgers written all over it, man. I tell you what. Little spider too. Why? Who took the shot, man?

[Christy Lee]

Banana and Netflix. Cincinnati's Joe Burrow, Atlanta's Kirk Cousins and Detroit's Jared Goff will be featured on the second season of Netflix quarterback series which was really swell first season. So I would imagine this one will be just as. Just as great. The streamer announced the series will debut in July with a video released on Wednesday. Quarterback debuted in 2023 one of Netflix top streamed series stream and it was.

[Tom Griswold]

Nothing but a stream.

[Christy Lee]

And it was produced by Omaha Omaha production. That brings us to Cincinnati, Ohio and the Roger Bacon High School underwater hockey team. That's right. They'll be competing in the 46th annual College Royal Underwater Hockey Tournament hosted by the University of Guelph. G U E L P H. Right. The Guelph Underwater Hockey Club in the gold pool at the W.F. mitchell Athletic center on the campus of the University of Guelph in Guelph, Ontario.

[Ace Cosby]

Was that guil on Saturday?

[Chick McGee]

That's a whole different grandma.

[Christy Lee]

Could be guilf coming up on Saturday. That's the least of my troubles. How we're pronouncing Guelph.

[Chick McGee]

I know you're gonna get mad at me when I ask, but how does.

[Christy Lee]

Roger Bacon continues to have the. They're underwater and they're playing hockey. Roger Bacon continues to have the only high school underwater hockey team in the United States.

[Ace Cosby]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

Sending two squads. Roger Bacon team weighted skates and Roger Bacon team B. I'm kind of with Christian.

[Tom Griswold]

Do they wear weight belts?

[Christy Lee]

I would imagine they would. To stay underwater. Yes, because we're made partially of air.

[Josh Arnold]

I gotta look this 90 air, right?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

And who said we are 90% air?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, this is from Paul Whitakend from Roger Bacon High School in Cincinnati.

[Tom Griswold]

Very excited about all this Canadian bacon this week. Sounds like fun.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Are we gonna keep up with this? You're gonna get this.

[Christy Lee]

He's supposed to give us results on Saturday and we'll try to follow up on Monday, you know, because we're nothing better than we do as follow up.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Cool.

[Chick McGee]

One of the key challenges of the game, players are not able to use breathing devices or scuba gear while playing their birthday.

[Frank Caliendo]

Breath.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, of course.

[Ace Cosby]

Are they wearing pads?

[Tom Griswold]

Fair question. Face mask?

[Chick McGee]

I. I don't have a photograph.

[Christy Lee]

Didn't you used to play water Polo. But your horse kept drowning. Isn't that right? That's what I. Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Pads, Ace.

[Ace Cosby]

I like to see a hockey fight underwater.

[Christy Lee]

That. Because action movies, every now and then, a fight will break out in a pool.

[Chick McGee]

Hockey sticks are real short. They're like.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, they're handheld little.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. They're like, all right.

[Ace Cosby]

Tom's way over it.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Frankie C. You.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, Frank's here. Yeah. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I think. I think it's Frank. Interesting that Frank's first impression is of someone who may be reemerging.

[Frank Caliendo]

Maybe all you have to be is on the Internet for a few seconds. You see? John Gruden. I tell you what, man. We're going to do some unboxing here, man. Did you ever get that present at Christmas where they have a box inside of a box inside of a box inside of a box, and then they give you a clue, then you get the clue and you're traveling all around your house like some sort of, you know, crazy situation. You find another box, then you got a box inside of a box inside of another box.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's a lot of fun, man.

[Tom Griswold]

I do enjoy it.

[Frank Caliendo]

I love that, man. We scheme for that in my house, man, me and Jay. My brother, he used to coach the Washington Redskins. Remember that chick?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I remember that.

[Tom Griswold]

He did.

[Frank Caliendo]

He didn't love that time. No.

[Tom Griswold]

He is Jon Gruden about to get back into the NFL with the rumor.

[Frank Caliendo]

There's always a rumor. He'll be there at college or something. I think he's. Have you ever heard the interviews he does? Like when they would interview guys at the combine, the types of questions he would ask? He goes, how much you love football, man? Be like, I love football. I bet you don't love football as much as I love football. Like, what do you say to that? What's your reply? No, no, no, no.

[Christy Lee]

I love football.

[Frank Caliendo]

Love football. You think you love football more than I love football? I don't think you love football anywhere near as much as I love football. Now go diagram a spider two white banana. Man, I got shaken so much, my headphones started to come off.

[Ace Cosby]

Talking to a tree.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's what I said to my dog, you know? Then I realized it was my son, Deuce. I got a son named Deuce.

[Ace Cosby]

Man, that's really something.

[Frank Caliendo]

He could lift. Lift like 500 pounds. He's a tremendous young man. But I'll tell you what. Talking to tree. Ever talk to treat. Problem is when the tree starts talking back, when they talk back to you. I. I was over he always does that. He goes off on 10. I was over behind my house and I was looking at tree. It turns out there's elves making cookies in there.

[Christy Lee]

Man.

[Tom Griswold]

I'll tell you what, Frank Caliendo is our guest. Ladies and gentlemen, if you're just joining us, welcome to the Bob and Tom Show. Happy to be here. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and over there at the orangeinsouls.com sports desk, it's Chick Magee. I hear there's some potential new rules in the NFL.

[Christy Lee]

NFL has announced proposals for rule changes ahead of the 2025 season. These are rule proposals. Among those, Detroit proposed eliminating an automatic first down as a penalty imposed for defensive holding and illegal contact. The team has also proposed amending the current playoff seating format.

[Ace Cosby]

I'm against it.

[Christy Lee]

Scared me.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm sorry.

[Christy Lee]

Amending the current playoff seating form format to allow wild card teams to be seated higher than division champions if the wild card team has a better record. They've been complaining about that for a while. Green Bay proposed eliminating that so called tush push that the world champ Philadelphia Eagles insist on using.

[Tom Griswold]

If nothing else, give it a different name.

[Christy Lee]

Well, the Brotherly shove. Do you like that better?

[Ace Cosby]

I do like that.

[Christy Lee]

Only two. That nickname so far.

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't know.

[Christy Lee]

Quarterback sneak thing.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you think it should be legal?

[Christy Lee]

No, it's helping the runner and that used to be. That was illegal forever in the NFL you can't help a runner.

[Tom Griswold]

How do you feel about the. About the Mo Howard eye poke all for it?

[Christy Lee]

I feel about the Three Stooges.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Ace Cosby]

It's got an easy defense. You just put your hand up against your nose.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. Now then he can go to 2. 2 index. Oh, really? Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I thought that was your illegal.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, but you got to practice that. You got to give your practice.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't give him the deuce.

[Christy Lee]

You wanted to say deuce. That's just a call back to Frank. And Philadelphia proposed aligning the postseason and regular season overtime rules so that both teams have an opportunity to possess the ball regardless of the outcome of the first possession.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. You don't agree with that? Josh?

[Christy Lee]

I say bring back sudden death. Take care of it and regulation.

[Tom Griswold]

The team that wins.

[Christy Lee]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

The team that wins the coin toss disproportionately wins the game. And anyone with even a modicum of stats realized.

[Ace Cosby]

Isn't it only like 51% though?

[Tom Griswold]

I think it's at least 80.

[Christy Lee]

The point is, I think you might be right.

[Ace Cosby]

You know what then, then maybe they should.

[Christy Lee]

Look, I might want to change my opinion.

[Tom Griswold]

I think backing me up on that. Of course. Robert Downey Jr. Of course.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Why wouldn't we, you know, Sounds good to me. Just drank a full soda. So belching the rest of the punchlines.

[Tom Griswold]

Out, the tush push is. That's not fair. Like the flying wedge.

[Christy Lee]

Well, you know what? The Eagles fans will say, I'll stop it.

[Ace Cosby]

Then it sounds to me like encouraging your player to get in there, you.

[Christy Lee]

Know, get yourself in there, bury the face.

[Frank Caliendo]

I mean, nowhere else in the game are you allowed to help the other guy. I mean, you got it. I mean, that's what the game is all about. I mean, you gotta be and do what you have to do. And if another guy helps you do the thing you're trying to do, I.

[Christy Lee]

Mean, that's not you doing it anymore.

[Ace Cosby]

Very insightful, Mr. Madden.

[Tom Griswold]

I certainly appreciate that.

[Christy Lee]

When he's right, he's right.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm just watching out up here from heaven.

[Ace Cosby]

Sure, sure. Yeah. How is it up there?

[Frank Caliendo]

I had nothing to do today. So, you know, there's just, you know. You know those busts in the hall of fame, all those. A lot of those guys are up here hang out. You play poker? Yeah, we like those dogs in the picture. You ever see that painting with the dogs playing poker?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

The weird thing is they don't love football more than jungle.

[Ace Cosby]

You ever play that video game? You.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, the Madden video game. He would call you.

[Frank Caliendo]

I had to think about what that meant. It's all right, John. I still needed three different people in the room to explain. Not one person, not two people, but three people. Had to. I got a call the other day. This is Frank talking for myself. I got a call the other day from my agent and they said because Nicolas Cage is in that Madden movie, which is about the video game and some of the producers, something. I don't know. Who was it? I don't think it was Nick Cage or they. They want you to do a Skype with Nicholas Cage. Would you? My agent comes. What you do is Skype with Nicholas Cage. You do that.

[Tom Griswold]

Cool.

[Frank Caliendo]

Or not Skype, you know, like, I just. I'm 10 years ago as far as technology, a zoom or something like. No, no. If we're. If I'm going to show him the. Teach him a little bit about the Madden voice. I'm going to hang out with Nicholas.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, even better.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, that's. That's the way I would do it. So he's like, Frank, if I may call you that.

[Christy Lee]

Sure.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's my name. You're welcome.

[Tom Griswold]

That's good.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. So it's like, I think the Cage is. He's up in here.

[Christy Lee]

In here.

[Frank Caliendo]

Right here in the nasal. As far as you can do Nicholas Cage.

[Christy Lee]

I'm trying. He's been doing it.

[Ace Cosby]

You were absolutely nailing it, by the way.

[Frank Caliendo]

Before that, I was doing a John Madden, in case you'd wonder what.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I acknowledged that. I said. Said the game is called Me.

[Ace Cosby]

No, you were absolutely killing Nicholas.

[Tom Griswold]

I've never seen any of his movies.

[Frank Caliendo]

Perfect.

[Christy Lee]

So I've never seen a Nicholas.

[Chick McGee]

National Treasure.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. No, we're going to steal the Declaration of Independence.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Sounds just like him.

[Tom Griswold]

I've never seen any of his movies. They've been working on it. I walked out of that Las Vegas thing.

[Frank Caliendo]

When you meet the person, you can totally. I'm sure he's worried about me wanting to do social media and I just don't do that. Yeah, no. If I were to hang out with somebody, I'd be. Be like, no, this is a moment that I just want to tell stories about. Then my agent's like, well, if you help them out on this, they should give you a little role in the movie. Because first they wanted me to audition for Howard Cosell and I'm like, I'm not going to audition to play Howard Cosell in the Madden movie. Because that, no matter what, even if I got it, which I'm probably not going to get it, just me going, this is how it goes. I'm just going to be very average or below average and be like, why is he in this? And then Cage of going, you know, that guy looks like he got hit.

[Tom Griswold]

By a freight train.

[Christy Lee]

Brett Favre. Brett Favre.

[Ace Cosby]

Brett Favre.

[Frank Caliendo]

So I was. They. I. And I figured they were just asking me to audition so they could then ask me to help on it because they never wanted to cast me in it. Right. I'm not thinking that. The agent's like, no, no, no, they're interested. I'm like, they're not interested in me for that. I look nothing like Howard Cosell. But I'm sure I could be like a research help for the John Madden.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

But to go back, the Cage is here.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good.

[Christy Lee]

And here.

[Frank Caliendo]

And then if you bring it down, it's in his throat. That's Madden. Madden's down. And then you just turn it into that right there, which is Bill Walton, John Madden and Ted Koppel. We all live somewhere in the bottom of Frank's neck.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I love the tank. Yeah. No, I walked up of that movie. Leaving. Leaving Las Vegas caused me to be leaving. Leaving the theater.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, the Oscar. Oscar.

[Josh Arnold]

The one he won the Oscar.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, the one that's incredibly depressing. I've got better things to do in my life. I figured it out early on, so I don't need to watch him die. I'm going to Las Vegas to drink myself to death. Okay, great. That's.

[Christy Lee]

That's great.

[Frank Caliendo]

Boom.

[Tom Griswold]

Great theme. I'd rather watch Toy Story. I'm sorry.

[Christy Lee]

Back to the sports desk with something just for Tom. The Nebraska Cornhuskers made headlines last night after the team pulled off one ra Play in baseball. Tom, I need your attention.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm listening.

[Christy Lee]

The Huskers successfully completed the hidden ball trick. Oh, did you see his face? Love this third inning of the 114 victory over Pepperdine. We have the video of it. See if you can catch the first baseman. He perfectly there. He tags him out.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Christy Lee]

He throws the ball back to the pitcher. Not at all. Or does he? And the guy goes, okay, I'm going to take a lead. You're out of here.

[Ace Cosby]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

He didn't really throw the ball.

[Christy Lee]

Everything anyone needs to know about how big a sports fan Tom is.

[Ace Cosby]

Every golden. Oh, every golden retriever was watching that video going, what? He threw the ball.

[Frank Caliendo]

He threw the ball over there.

[Ace Cosby]

But I don't get it.

[Christy Lee]

What happened?

[Frank Caliendo]

Tom could get tricked multiple times by the hidden ball trick in a game.

[Tom Griswold]

Absolutely.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's like the third time you're out.

[Christy Lee]

Get out of here. The first known recorded hidden ball trick in Major League Baseball took place on September 24, 1901. Senators and Tigers third baseman Bill Coughlin holds the distinction of being known as the master of the hidden ball trick.

[Ace Cosby]

I don't like.

[Christy Lee]

Seems like it's cheating.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yes.

[Ace Cosby]

To me it's sort of a delay of game type thing. There should be. After the person is called safe on the base, there should be a maximum of three to five seconds and then the play is dead.

[Tom Griswold]

Or maybe until the pitcher has the ball again, everything is dead.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, in that case. But if you wait until the pitcher has the ball again, he could stand there for 30 seconds and wait for the guy to step off the plate. So that doesn't work.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, until they get the Statue of Liberty going in the NFL, that's my favorite play, Frank.

[Christy Lee]

Well, they can run the statue.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, the Statue of Liberty.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'll tell you what, that's a pretty good play right there. Statue of Liberty.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. The quarterback goes like this, like the Statue of Liberty. Then the guy grabs ball.

[Ace Cosby]

I heard France wants that play back.

[Tom Griswold]

That's what I heard, too. Yeah, that's going to be hard. They're going to take it in one big piece.

[Ace Cosby]

They don't even play football over there.

[Christy Lee]

What's wrong with that? That's sports, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, thank you very much.

[Christy Lee]

I'll be back with Christian News.

[Tom Griswold]

We're hanging out with comedian Frank Caliendo. Where do you go again? Frank Caliendo?

[Frank Caliendo]

Frank easy. So you don't even have to spell Caliendo. Frank onstage.com and the, the big ones coming up are Louisville, Fort Wayne, Indianapolis, Cincinnati, Ohio, and then Columbus, Ohio.

[Tom Griswold]

And you got Al Jackson and Willie G. Hanging out with you. Yeah, that's gonna be great.

[Frank Caliendo]

And, and Patrick Keane is doing, we're working on writing a bunch of new stuff, too. Well, I'll come back at some point during that week or so and I'm gonna bring Patrick Keane and his teeth with me.

[Tom Griswold]

All right. I'm looking forward to all those things. Also looking forward to Christy Lee with. What have you got over there?

[Chick McGee]

Well, we have some sleep techniques for those of you who have a trouble falling asleep at night that actually work according to this story. We also have abstaining from sex. Is it good? Is it bad? We'll find out.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Well, thank you very much.

[Christy Lee]

It's horrible. Horrible.

[Tom Griswold]

We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Al Jackson]

There's more of the show coming up. Book your next vacation with Christy Lee and Colette. Visit England, Scotland and Wales this September 28th. Visit bobandtom.com for details. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Frank Caliendo]

You don't wake up dreaming of McDonald's fries. You wake up dreaming of McDonald's hash browns. McDonald's breakfast comes first.

[Tom Griswold]

Off.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're all here in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Josh and Ace, Christy, Pat, I'm Chick. Hello, Tom. We have a special guest today.

[Tom Griswold]

He is comedian Frank Caliendo about to mount a special club tour, among other things. And it's always a pleasure to see Frank Caliendo and Mr. Caliendo. How are things in the home life? I know you've got a couple of kids, a wife, a house full of her stuff, and then, well, a couple.

[Frank Caliendo]

Houses full of her stuff. That's when you have to expand the, the home to get everything in. It's been actually a little bit of a struggle lately. My mom is in the hospital. I flew into Milwaukee. I Was gonna surprise her. She wasn't in the hospital when I took off, so. From Phoenix.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh.

[Frank Caliendo]

So. And she didn't know I was coming. I landed, and my brother Rico, who's the most Italian of us, there's Frankie, Rico, and Terry. And Rico does my books, by the way, so they're always prist. So I land and Rico goes, did you get the car yet? The rental car? I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, okay, well, Mom's in the hospital. I was like, okay, I'm on my way over. So I head over, I get there again. She doesn't know that she's in the emergency room. Doesn't know that I'm on my way. I walk in, she's been out of it, kind of in and out. She's had some other problems, and this was just a recurrence. She looks up, she. She goes. Her eyes open. She's like, frankie, wait, how long have I been here? I'm like, that's a great line. Like, she didn't know I was coming. So it was like she thought she'd been there for days. And, I mean, it perked her up that she saw me. I'm her favorite.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, of course.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You missed an opportunity.

[Frank Caliendo]

What did I.

[Tom Griswold]

You could have said, it's been a year moment.

[Christy Lee]

No, no, no, you gotta go. I say, bigger than bigger. Yeah, but not too big. Like 27.

[Tom Griswold]

By the way, you have a card from President Vance.

[Christy Lee]

That's right. Do the whole thing.

[Frank Caliendo]

She made me do Trump for the nurses because they ask her, what's your birthday? She gives the birthday, like, who's the president? And she goes, she's, ah, my son Frankie. Tell him who it is. She's like, do the voice. I was like, well, you're asking the right guy. And she's doing. She knows who I am, but she can't remember the name. And there's. My name is Elon Musk. No, he's a great guy. He's helping us. I did create a new character for Donald Trump. It's a Mashup. It's Ronald McDonald Trump. Oh, it's tremendous. We've got the Hamburglar we're working on. He's Rubble Rubbling, and he's. Okay, so we've got some help. We've got Mayor McGee doing a tremendous job. Mayor McGee is working with me and Officer Big Mac and also Elon McMuffin. The three of us, the four of us were doing a great job.

[Ace Cosby]

Now, is it true, true, Mr. President, that you fired half of the Fry, guys.

[Frank Caliendo]

We did. We had to. Elon came in and he said, you're not doing what you need to do, and it's costing too much. And we're going to build a wall between the restaurant and the play area. And then we're going to build a ball pit. We're gonna. It's gonna be the best ball pit. And it's gonna. It's like a spherical mode. It's gonna be tremendous. And we're going to make Playland great again.

[Tom Griswold]

It's going to be number.

[Frank Caliendo]

The number one.

[Tom Griswold]

It's.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's not any better. You can't get any better. JD Value Meal. He's a great guy.

[Tom Griswold]

That's Frank Caliendo. Oh, that's so funny. So funny. Now, we have completed our sports cast. Am I correct saying that?

[Christy Lee]

Yes, we have completed your sports.

[Tom Griswold]

We have to get a new signal, so. I know.

[Christy Lee]

And I. I said, christy, next.

[Chick McGee]

Do you hate coming over here? I'm ready.

[Tom Griswold]

We love coming over there, Christy. Especially lately. I don't know what's happened.

[Christy Lee]

I like to double.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Christy, this is interesting because I know that you are in the process of moving.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And. Oh, really? What's interesting to me is you're dressing better than ever. So are you just uncovering all these old clothes you'd forgotten you had or is pretty much. You look great again.

[Christy Lee]

I can't endure. Christy turned me on. I can't endorse getting your house organized anymore. It's like Christmas. Every day you come. I wondered where that was. Every day.

[Chick McGee]

It's great we share the same organizing person. And it's absolutely. She's great.

[Tom Griswold]

You ever seen my closet?

[Chick McGee]

I have not.

[Christy Lee]

You have everything on display.

[Chick McGee]

We're not allowed in your home.

[Tom Griswold]

Here's what it looks like. I'll tell you, Frank, these are my shirts. Black back. Black, black, black, black, black, black, blue, blue, blue, blue, black, black, black, black. Oh, there's a white one handy. That's it.

[Frank Caliendo]

And it's all the same brand, right? It's all the same shirt, just a different color.

[Christy Lee]

And you can see them. They're all on. And they folded or hanging.

[Tom Griswold]

Hanging.

[Chick McGee]

Short sleeves and then long sleeves.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't have any short sleeves.

[Chick McGee]

You're wearing a short sleeve.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, the golf shirts. Yes. I do not wear.

[Christy Lee]

Listen to. Listen to the reason why he doesn't wear shorts. Tom, go ahead and tell everyone.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, the Godfather never wears shorts.

[Christy Lee]

That's right. John never wears shorts. Tony Sopranos.

[Josh Arnold]

You used to wear shorts.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, you did. Cargo shorts.

[Tom Griswold]

Previous administration. No, I, I, I don't wear shirts. I very rarely wear shirts.

[Chick McGee]

Golf shirts.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

So you, but, so you hang your golf shirts together and then your long sleeves.

[Christy Lee]

Have you ever thought about hanging yourself in the garage? No.

[Tom Griswold]

No. Basement. Basement.

[Christy Lee]

I wish I had a basement.

[Ace Cosby]

We'd walk in and go white.

[Christy Lee]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you have a basement? You don't have a basement?

[Christy Lee]

No. I've got to go. Well, that's not true. I have a 4ft by 10ft bat. No, it's where the washer and Dr. Dryer.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Frank, you live in Arizona. Do you have a basement?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yes, and it's rare to have one, but.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but you got basement money?

[Frank Caliendo]

We, I have, yeah, it's, we have. It's a, it's a home theater down there. So.

[Ace Cosby]

Is that a live theater?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yes, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

What's playing right now?

[Josh Arnold]

What's playing now?

[Frank Caliendo]

Mystery Money. I don't know.

[Ace Cosby]

The Mikado.

[Christy Lee]

And you got that saltwater pool too. I know you like that saltwater pool.

[Frank Caliendo]

I did have a saltwater pool.

[Christy Lee]

Yanked it out.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, we just converted it. My wife wanted a saltwater pool and then after having it for a couple years, complained about the amount of salt built up from the saltwater pool. And I said, well, this is what you wanted. And she rarely was in the pool. I was like, why don't we just put it back to a regular pool? And she's like, I don't know. And then three years later, we did.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's just.

[Tom Griswold]

So you guys are getting along great as usual.

[Frank Caliendo]

Probably the best.

[Tom Griswold]

What's your wife's favorite impression? Are you going tour?

[Frank Caliendo]

I was gonna say this, and this is a Tom type reference. Marcel Marceau.

[Josh Arnold]

Does she actually have a favorite impression? All joking aside?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Frank Caliendo]

I think, Yeah, I, I think Tom probably hit it on the head. No, she's never really liked anything I do, so.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, you met her. You met her at one of your shows.

[Frank Caliendo]

I did. And that was the mad impression was like the big thing at that point. And her dad heard. Or they were watching. Her dad was watching football and I hadn't met him yet. And they heard. She heard John Madden's actual. Boy, I'm tearing up. I'm getting.

[Ace Cosby]

It's very sweet.

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't know what. That's just flim. So she heard John Madden's voice and goes, oh, that's Frank on there. And her dad went, what? So that was explained a little bit later.

[Tom Griswold]

But did she not. You mentioned the funny thing with your mom in the hospital, which is not Funny. But I hope as well she made you do the great Donald Trump thing you just did. Was hilarious. Does your wife ever. You're at some social event and she drags you over and Frank, this. This guy wants to hear your Paul Giamatti. Go on.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, I believe that is exactly the type of setup that we needed for this situation. And I will not tran k Merlo.

[Tom Griswold]

They call the show Seamless the way we do this.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Is that right?

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't know he was shameless.

[Frank Caliendo]

I think is what it is.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, she doesn't. There's not. I'm not. I'm not the dancing monkey for. I think she's. She's the social one of the two. I'm not really good in groups of people. I'm very quiet. She will. I don't think she sets me up. She's not a set her upper. So I think it's just. She'll make me come over and talk to people like my kids.

[Tom Griswold]

Your name again.

[Frank Caliendo]

Right. But that's not really. No, I don't think. I don't think she does. I know you were hoping that's what happened. Like, can you do some Morgan Freeman? Can you get me another?

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'd love to grab you that right now, but turns out I'm going to be talking to this CEO from this company for a while and see if I can get a few bucks from him.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good. Now, coming up, we have. What is it? Sex in the cinema. What's happening?

[Chick McGee]

No, we have. Well, we have sex on tv, but we also have abstaining from. From sex. Is it good for you? We'll find out.

[Christy Lee]

I can't imagine how it would be good.

[Tom Griswold]

By the way, Lent's still going on, right?

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, do people do that for Lent? Is that a common.

[Chick McGee]

Some people do.

[Tom Griswold]

They do. Some people abstain, but it's the reverse for priests, right?

[Ace Cosby]

They give up celibacy.

[Christy Lee]

Attaboy. I can't wait to see Christy burst into flames.

[Chick McGee]

She's the only captain.

[Christy Lee]

You just found a loophole, maybe.

[Frank Caliendo]

That sounds. Sounds like. That sounds like a huge loophole right there.

[Tom Griswold]

Looks like Father Murphy knocked up one of the nuns.

[Ace Cosby]

But, you know, it was lamp.

[Tom Griswold]

It'll happen. And all the nuns give birth nine months after Easter.

[Frank Caliendo]

Did you do that? Almost. Ted Knightish on purpose for me.

[Tom Griswold]

Looks like that is my favorite impression. Please do it more.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, my.

[Tom Griswold]

We are we. We are with the great. It's Frank Caliendo. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. This is The Bob and Tom Show.

[Al Jackson]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Catch any part of the show you missed later today on our YouTube channel?

[Tom Griswold]

I think I just won my taxes. Yeah, I just switched to H and R Block in about one minute. All I had to do was drag and drop last year's return into H and R Block and bam. My information is automatically there so I.

[Frank Caliendo]

Don'T have to go digging around for.

[Tom Griswold]

All my old papers to switch. Nope. Sounds like we just leveled up our tax game.

[Al Jackson]

Switching to H and R Block is easy.

[Tom Griswold]

Just drag and drop your last return. It's better with Block if he wasn't there.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and To show Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk. Hello, there is Pat Godwin. There's Frank Calendo here. There's Josh Arnold, Ace Cosby. I'm Chick mcgee. We're in the o'reilly Auto Parts studio. And hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Frank, you've done probably hundreds of radio shows. Have you ever seen one as discombobulated and disorganized and random?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, but it didn't last. Congratulations.

[Ace Cosby]

We are defying the odds.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'll tell you what the distinct personalities on this show are what make it fun. I mean, it really is. It's almost sitcom, like where you could write. I remember watching Cheers back in the day. And if you're looking for an impression on this, not really. Maybe a Ratzenberger. I don't know, Nami. But you can kind of write for the people in this room, just. And you're hoping they're gonna say certain things. And then when they do the.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Frank's on tour. This is gonna be cool. Frank's doing a rare club tour and it's Starting off on April 3rd in Addison, Texas, which is greater Dallas.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yep, North Dallas.

[Tom Griswold]

And it's gonna be Houston at the Houston Improv, which. Which is Houston.

[Frank Caliendo]

Houston.

[Tom Griswold]

Louisville. The Louisville comedy club on April 8th.

[Frank Caliendo]

Which I've never been. I've never been to Louisville before. What? Yeah, I've never been there before.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, you'll love it.

[Frank Caliendo]

And it's very cool. They're playing Creighton today. I'm a big Creighton fan, so I'm a terrible promoter of my own gig. I go in and get there.

[Christy Lee]

Well, a great place for dinner is the Top of the Bat at the Louisville Slugger Museum. It is the finest and overhead rotational dining in the United States. Promotion America. They have specials every Friday, Saturday and Sunday. And be sure and visit Corky's Lounge.

[Tom Griswold]

As you as you walk.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's a better plug than my plugs.

[Christy Lee]

While you wait for your day, we.

[Tom Griswold]

Should explain, Frank, this doesn't exist. And people here do that with all that sincerity. And then they. We get a letter.

[Frank Caliendo]

I was going to go, I went.

[Tom Griswold]

To the top of the bed. It's not even there, but the top.

[Christy Lee]

Of the bat is there. There's a giant Louisville square, but there's not a restaurant.

[Tom Griswold]

But yeah, no, of course not. You'll love Louisville. It's great.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.

[Tom Griswold]

That's April 8th. Then April 9th, it's the Summit Comedy Club in Fort Wayne. The famous helium in India. On April 10th, Liberty Township, which is Greater Cincinnati. April 11th and 12th, a double dose of Mr. Caliento. Columbus, April 13th at the Funny Bone. April 16th, Kansas City at the Funny Bone. There's a period a lot of bones here. The April 17th, Omaha, Nebraska. Fun.

[Frank Caliendo]

Throw me a freaking funny bone.

[Tom Griswold]

You're. Then you're almost at home. Appleton, Wisconsin, at the skyline comedy club, the 25th and 26th of April. Then your Wisconsin hunk continues. Brookfield. That's Milwaukee, right?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And that's April 27th. I could go on. Yeah, I will a little bit. Toledo, May 15th at the Funny Bone. And then speaking of Toledo, we have posted photographs of our brand new T shirts. We're doing our show, Frank, coming up, we'll do one from toledo on the 28th. It's a Friday of this month in honor of the great Toledo Mud Hens. Then the day before that, the Thursday, we're going to be in Greater Cincinnati, actually in Kentucky, at a place called Smoke Justice. And we've got two T shirts we've put together. We're selling them and giving all the money to charity. So it's really. The one in Cincinnati is so cool. It's for this organization that makes like superhero pajamas for kids in the hospital. So neat. And then Ronald McDonald House. So you can actually see those shirts if you go on our website. We've got a couple of. There we go. Bob and Tom.com got a couple others, too. So just for fun and raising a little money. Dropping the bucket. But it's just. Just kind of a fun thing. Now we promised a sex talk from Christy Lee. What's happening?

[Chick McGee]

Health experts warn that abstaining from sex can have negative impacts on your health.

[Tom Griswold]

All guys. Exactly right.

[Chick McGee]

According to researchers, sexual activity may help in alleviating stress through the release of endorphins and oxytocin. Suppressing sexual urges can build up Frustration and also aggravate anxiety or irritability.

[Frank Caliendo]

All true.

[Chick McGee]

Some people may feel more fatigued due to sex being a good way to relax and sleep. Better people may also.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm out.

[Chick McGee]

People also feel shame, heightened anxiety and depression if they are seen by their peers as not being able to find a sexual partner.

[Ace Cosby]

This all makes sense.

[Chick McGee]

Those who avoid intimacy may also suffer sleep problems and food cravings. A recent study from the University of Pennsylvania found that women between the ages of 20 and 59 who had sex less than once a week were at a 70% increased risk of death within five years.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a minute.

[Frank Caliendo]

Pretty good trade offs.

[Christy Lee]

Go over that again. And slow.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. What?

[Chick McGee]

The study found women between the ages of 20 and 59 who had sex less than once a week were at a 70% increased risk of death within five years.

[Tom Griswold]

This was definitely written by guys.

[Christy Lee]

These women.

[Frank Caliendo]

Can you give me that? Can you send that? I want to send it to my wife.

[Chick McGee]

These women had elevated levels of a key protein linked to inflammation, which can cause damage to healthy cells, tissues and organs. Lower levels and no increase increased death risk were seen in participants who had sex more than once a week.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Christy, I don't know if you're aware of this, but if a man does not have any kind of intimate intimacy for a period of more than a week. Have you ever stepped on one of those tubes of gogurt?

[Christy Lee]

Is that right?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, it's kind of builds up.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you might want to build. That's. That's science. Learned that. Pat, you got a song about this?

[Ace Cosby]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Sorry. You had that look in your face.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, geez.

[Josh Arnold]

That's kind of the gogurg through me.

[Frank Caliendo]

What's going on with Bill Nye over there? Science.

[Chick McGee]

There are a lot of people that can't have sex once a week. A lot of women that aren't in relationships.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, it doesn't. You'll notice it didn't say what the increase was. It could have gone. Well, it could be 3% more is having sex solo. Right. And it does also did not mention that.

[Tom Griswold]

I know.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Because you would think it would release the same kind of. Probably not the exact same amount or kind of chemicals, but similar.

[Christy Lee]

Exact same amount with. Without all the chatter.

[Tom Griswold]

Right. Yeah, sure.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

You're still relieved. Orgasm.

[Christy Lee]

I'm totally good.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm fine. You know that massive gogurt cleanup. I'm sorry. What else you got, Chris?

[Chick McGee]

Sex Lives of College Girls will not be returning for season four at the streaming service known as Max.

[Ace Cosby]

That was a Show.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. It ran for three seasons. Josh.

[Christy Lee]

I am constantly amazed by how many series have. Well, the ninth season and I've never heard of it. I feel like Tom.

[Chick McGee]

While the first two seasons received positive critical accomplishments claim with Rotten Tomatoes approval ratings of 97 and 93% respectively, the third season faced a much cooler reception with only 29 approval based on 7 critics reviews.

[Ace Cosby]

Sex lives of college girls.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Ace Cosby]

You'd think we would have all known about this, right?

[Tom Griswold]

I've heard of it, but there's just so much out there you can't. No one can watch everything. No, but I hadn't heard of any either.

[Ace Cosby]

I.

[Christy Lee]

You could literally spend half a day, if not the entire day sitting, looking for something to watch instead of watching something.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Do you have this problem though? I could go through everything and find something that I don't like. I can't find something to watch like that. I really am like, I will go through all the different apps that I have.

[Christy Lee]

Sure.

[Frank Caliendo]

I look through everything and I'd be like, I just. There's nothing. Okay. More TikTok.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, geez.

[Ace Cosby]

That's your other option.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's actually Candy Crush. My wife will get mad at me for playing Candy Crush and I'm just doing that. Like, what are you doing? And she's looking at food online.

[Ace Cosby]

You're right.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's all she's doing is scrolling through food. I did it the other day. I go, what are you looking at? It's like. Like catching your kid looking at porn or something. She's like, nothing. Like, no, no. Do you have it? You're looking at cakes again, aren't you? Well, it's not really. Yeah, it turned out it was cake. I didn't think it was cake at first.

[Tom Griswold]

Christy.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Tell our guest comedian Frank Caliendo what you do.

[Chick McGee]

What do I do?

[Tom Griswold]

You don't look at cake.

[Chick McGee]

You look at real estate all the time.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, that's fun though.

[Chick McGee]

All the time you do that.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's too much. I do a little bit.

[Chick McGee]

How I relax.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Cuz I want to move. Cuz my mother in law lives in our house.

[Josh Arnold]

She does.

[Christy Lee]

Because his mother in law lives in the house.

[Frank Caliendo]

Notice I'm on the road a lot, everybody.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's not even a joke. I know mother in law jokes are old and that Tom loved them, but.

[Tom Griswold]

I love hack premises.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's honestly the truth. Every. Every hack premise you've ever heard. About 100% real.

[Tom Griswold]

So you're looking for a house in Phoenix where you live anywhere.

[Frank Caliendo]

Just anywhere.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe Something nearby, like thinking about sending him to Mars.

[Frank Caliendo]

We could go to Mars with Bayonne, New Jersey. I don't know. No, wait a minute. What?

[Tom Griswold]

When we come back, we're gonna do a little time travel. I'm gonna ask. I'm gonna ask Mr. Caleon to do something for us that should be very exciting. I have a classic work of art.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Griswold]

That I would like. I'm gonna. I'm gonna force Frank to. To read, perhaps in character. In the meantime, I've got a time machine in front of me. I'm looking at. I went to this website called. It's. It's the Frank Caliendo ticket place. And it's. What? It's Frank Onstage dot com. Is that right, Frank?

[Christy Lee]

No again.

[Tom Griswold]

And. And no. I just want to say something.

[Christy Lee]

It's the Frank Calendo ticket place.

[Tom Griswold]

I just. There's a photograph of Frank. Very handsome. It's a really nice photo. But this tie, it must be from, like, 74. Josh, can we take a look? See at this thing?

[Frank Caliendo]

It's a. It's a big. It's a big double Windsor knot. And it was at. Kelly Clarkson was hosting that show. I believe. Or I was. No. Who's. Kelly Clarkson was on the show. I think it was the celebrity fight night. I'll get there. That was. I was thinking Muhammad Ali, that name dropper. Yeah. Not so. Pretty much the whole reason. I just wanted to say, Kelly. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You look very handsome.

[Frank Caliendo]

It was very nice. Russell Wilson was at the table next to me, so he may have a.

[Tom Griswold]

House available in Pittsburgh. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

And they kept. Michelle, my wife, they kept not letting her get to her seat. They were like, you can't come here. She's like, no, I'm. That's. We're. We're together. I'm with him. I'm like, I have no idea who she is.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, a special treat from Frank Killiano. You don't want to miss it. Right now, I want to urge you to pay attention for just a second. If you've been thinking about therapy, the Better Help people would like to actually talk to you. The Bob and Tom show is sponsored by Better Help. What Better Help is all about is accessing therapy online, making it much more elegant, much more easier, much more simple to get to a therapy therapist. There are some 30,000 credentialed therapists working with this program. Over 5 million people are now participating in this. If you're thinking about therapy, working on yourself, getting your support system organized in your head, why not? And it's not Just for real serious issues. They can be stuff that you just kind of want a little couple tweaks here and there. And the way it works is you fill out a questionnaire online and then you'll be be hooked up with a therapist. And by the way, you can switch therapists anytime, no additional costs. And there are therapists with a wide range of specialties, so they'll try to find someone that's going to be working with you. Then the therapy is done online. So you can do it wherever you want to be. You don't have to go across town to an office. You could do it at your own office. You can do it in your car, you can do it at the work site. Whatever works for you. You can do it with your smartphone or a laptop, whatever. The way you find out the information is you go to betterhelp.com BTC show better help. H E L P betterhelp.com BTShow and the therapy, like I said, you're going to do it online. So it's going to be like a zoom call or like a phone call if you don't want a camera going or even texting back and forth. So find out what's going on by visiting betterhelp.com btshow and this portion of the Baba Tom show brought to you by BetterHelp. Thank you very much. Coming up, a little surprise with Mr. Frank Caliendo. This is the Bob and Tom show.

[Al Jackson]

No Contest Wrestling, where O'Shea Jackson Jr. And TJ Jefferson bring their hot takes with the biggest names in the game.

[Tom Griswold]

Ladies and gentlemen, Bron Breakker.

[Frank Caliendo]

My aspirations in life.

[Christy Lee]

I always wanted to be a WWE Superstar.

[Frank Caliendo]

The prodigy Roxanne Perez. I gotta talk about the Hugger cosplay.

[Chick McGee]

I mean, it was perfect, wasn't it?

[Frank Caliendo]

Louisiana Knight?

[Ace Cosby]

What am I doing here at this point?

[Al Jackson]

I can retire. See, everybody, the no Contest Wrestling Podcast, part of the Rich Eisen Podcast Network. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[Tom Griswold]

It's his fault.

[Christy Lee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee, Josh Arnold, Pat Godwin, Ace Cosby. Our special guest, Frank Caliendo. I'm Chick and I have a bone to pick. I think with Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Let me just do. So I got to do a proper plug.

[Christy Lee]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

It's Frank onstage.com to get tickets to these club tours that Frank is doing. I'm so sorry. I keep forgetting the name of it.

[Frank Caliendo]

Did you what?

[Christy Lee]

Spray something like, did you Febreze?

[Ace Cosby]

Okay. Whoever did went. I did cir. I did. I did the lobby. Oh, you did the building.

[Josh Arnold]

You made it worse.

[Christy Lee]

Wow.

[Ace Cosby]

I don't know what the ventilation is, but like. Like I said, the popcorn smell came off all the way up here from.

[Tom Griswold]

The back of the building. Now we need to explain. Ace burned the popcorn, so the building stinks.

[Christy Lee]

Well, no, that's not true. Ace did not burn the popcorn.

[Ace Cosby]

Microwave.

[Christy Lee]

Did the microwave burn the popcorn?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

He. He. He followed the recipe.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I can smell. I smell the perfume now.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, I would have preferred the popcorn. Sorry. Well, it was dissipating, but.

[Chick McGee]

And then he took the popcorn out. I watched him because I thought he was leaving. I go, are you leaving already? And he goes, no, he had an incident.

[Ace Cosby]

I burned my breakfast popcorn.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Taking it out to the dumpster.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Frank, to underscore stereotypes, which is one of my favorite things, you're of Italian heritage. Do you wear a lot of a cologne?

[Frank Caliendo]

No, but my son, who's more Italian than me, definitely does. I'm only half Italian. My son's 3/4 because my wife is fully Italian. And he. I will get in his car and I. It's like he's there with me. Move his car in the driveway or something like. Joey, are you around? Where are you? I'm over here, dad. Everything's fine. Don't worry about it. Where'd your neck go? What's happening? The more Italian you get, the higher the shoulders get. And that's my brother in law. Hey, Frank, how's it going? Is everything all right?

[Ace Cosby]

You look good.

[Tom Griswold]

You look good.

[Ace Cosby]

What are you trying to listen to? Your shoulders.

[Tom Griswold]

What are you doing?

[Frank Caliendo]

What's happening here? You don't even need ear muffs. That's a great thing. Natural selection in Italy. I didn't know it's so cold. Everything going on here.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Frank, we'd like to challenge you.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay?

[Tom Griswold]

Rather than have any prepared material, we. I like to present you with something. And today I thought we would go back to one of the. One of the classics. Classics from the world of baseball, of course. I'm talking about the Take me out.

[Chick McGee]

To the ball game.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, that would be too easy.

[Frank Caliendo]

Holy cow, that would be easy.

[Tom Griswold]

One of the great poems of all time. I'm sure you're familiar with Ernest Lawrence Thayer ELT Man. The.

[Frank Caliendo]

The tremendous job.

[Tom Griswold]

The Harvard man who put the E's in Casey's Manor, I believe is the name of the essay. Casey at the Bat, of course.

[Chick McGee]

Never heard of that until you brought it up once.

[Tom Griswold]

You've never heard of Casey at the Bat?

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

There is no joy in Mudville.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know. I. Honest to God I'd never heard of it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I said some of your MILF friends probably have said to their boyfriends after a certain thing, hey, there's no joy in Mudville. But that's a different.

[Christy Lee]

I think with this.

[Chick McGee]

I think it was.

[Christy Lee]

We've set a new record for reference on this show. Casey at the bat was from 18. 1988.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's the most famous baseball poem ever.

[Christy Lee]

Congratulations.

[Tom Griswold]

You've heard of it, right, Ace? Yeah, of course.

[Chick McGee]

It's the most famous baseball poem ever.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Frank Caliendo]

And there's a lot of baseball programs. There's a tremendous amount of baseball poems. And this is the best one. And no better way to celebrate March Madness, the biggest basketball game of the.

[Chick McGee]

Year, than to talk baseball.

[Frank Caliendo]

Than to talk baseball.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, okay. Is there.

[Christy Lee]

Is there a good. Exactly right.

[Tom Griswold]

Is there a good basketball ball poem?

[Chick McGee]

I don't know. We could.

[Josh Arnold]

Nipy Russell maybe has.

[Christy Lee]

Here's an idea. Or we could just talk to Frank.

[Tom Griswold]

No, that's unreasonable.

[Frank Caliendo]

This is like I'm at home, everybody fighting around me. I'm not going to let Frank come.

[Tom Griswold]

In here and just do his thing.

[Christy Lee]

No. God, no.

[Josh Arnold]

We could sneak into it organically.

[Ace Cosby]

No, no, no. Forced viability. That's the key.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know. We used to be just the corner of spontaneous and behavior. Now we're.

[Tom Griswold]

See, now the spontaneity comes in here because I'm going to shout out.

[Christy Lee]

Because we're all going to kill you.

[Tom Griswold]

You can shout out various. Various names of famous people that Frank does his impressions.

[Ace Cosby]

So the opposite of spontaneous, it's me telling you what to do?

[Christy Lee]

No, but it's.

[Tom Griswold]

It's spontaneous for Frank is he has to switch gears and do it. This may fail. I.

[Frank Caliendo]

We did one that did fail and I thought it was over, but now we're back.

[Tom Griswold]

In, baby.

[Frank Caliendo]

We did that one. That was viral.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

The Piano Man.

[Frank Caliendo]

The Piano Man. And then it was. We're back at it. Here we go. I'm ready.

[Tom Griswold]

Ready.

[Ace Cosby]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Once again, this is a Casey.

[Frank Caliendo]

Change them quickly. Change them quickly because are not that good.

[Christy Lee]

Wait a minute. Now you said this is Casey at the bat. First walk me through what a poem is.

[Frank Caliendo]

Maybe you should.

[Christy Lee]

Maybe you should describe.

[Tom Griswold]

This has some tricky rhymes.

[Ace Cosby]

I think we should shout out voices. We don't know if Frank can do or not.

[Tom Griswold]

That'd be funny.

[Frank Caliendo]

That would be a showstopper. I'll do that at the end of my shows. I'll ask people you can send if I Didn't. If you came here to do. To listen to me do something specific, and I didn't get to it because I've been explaining too much as Morgan Freeman or doing too much Trump or wandering around too much as Joe Biden. Throw it out. But it has to be somebody that I do, because I'm more of a magician than a wizard. These things are card tricks. You have to get the work over and over and over, and it takes a ton of repetition. I can't just conjure up something I've never done. And then there'll be like three or four that I do like, you know, major ones. And then there's. I don't do Robin Williams in the show because it gets an aww. Oh, my goodness. You knew we weren't even gonna try it.

[Ace Cosby]

We miss our favorite birds. That's exactly what it is.

[Frank Caliendo]

Patch Adams couldn't save me, so I did. But when people call it out, for some reason, there isn't as much of an awe. They like it. If I. I were to present it myself, people get like that, ooh, he's doing that. But when somebody else. But then there will be a bunch of people that I never even thought fathomed doing. And then there's like, a Spiro Agnew, and I'm like, I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, April Harriman.

[Ace Cosby]

We'll do what we do.

[Frank Caliendo]

I think there are some Tom people. Yeah, there are quite a few.

[Ace Cosby]

We'll just shout out the ones we know. You know?

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, that's the best way to do it.

[Christy Lee]

How about Leonard Moulton? Glenn Close.

[Tom Griswold]

Glenn Close. Michelle Pfeiffer. Can you do Impossible.

[Frank Caliendo]

A lot of those.

[Tom Griswold]

I'd love to, but I. Judy Garland on her deathbed. My Aunt Nancy. Now, do you. Do you want the music, or do you want to do it to acapella?

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't care. This thing's. This thing's doomed, so I love it. I love. I love trying to. I love trying to dig myself out of.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, there we go. Josh, do you want to start the rotation?

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, no. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I just.

[Christy Lee]

Just let Frank.

[Frank Caliendo]

Really spontaneous. Wait a second. Josh is one of the quickest people I know. One of the wittiest people I've ever met who always has something and you blank there.

[Ace Cosby]

No, I didn't blank. I chose to go.

[Christy Lee]

Chose to.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, okay, okay. I say we start with someone who's been in the news lately. As if it's okay with you. Ladies and gentlemen, reading Casey, at the back bat, we have Tracy Morgan.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, that's crazy. I was going to barf this thing out myself. The outlook wasn't brilliant for the Mudville Nine that day. Just like the outlook wasn't brilliant.

[Tom Griswold]

Uhhuh.

[Frank Caliendo]

For that food poison I had that went away.

[Christy Lee]

See what I did there?

[Frank Caliendo]

I rhymed it. That's crazy, I said, switching fast. And Tom didn't get that part.

[Tom Griswold]

William Sh.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Frank Caliendo]

Jeff Goldblum and William Shatner. The score stood 4 to 2, but with one inning left to play. And then with Cooney died at first and Barrows did the same. The Paul like silence fell upon the patron, Donald Trump. The straggling. Not the straggling. A straggling. Very different. Got up to go in deep despair. The rest clung to the hope which springs eternal.

[Ace Cosby]

All right, this is the problem. No one knows this.

[Frank Caliendo]

A lot of my. Quite frankly, there's a lot of words in this I would never say.

[Christy Lee]

Right, right. Well, it's from 1888.

[Ace Cosby]

Everyone's familiar with Casey the bat, but not this familiar.

[Frank Caliendo]

There's a tremendous amount of people that are right now saying, this is probably the best baseball program poem. I. What do I say?

[Christy Lee]

Program?

[Frank Caliendo]

I can't say poem. It's the best baseball poem in the history. History of probably history.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, why don't you skip to where they've already got two guys have. There's two strikes.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, my.

[Tom Griswold]

Bottom of the night. Ready?

[Frank Caliendo]

That would be the last page.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, probably. Yes.

[Frank Caliendo]

So you're kind of. You're kind of going in like Elon Musk and cleaning it up right now.

[Tom Griswold]

That's what you're doing. Yes, yes. Go to.

[Christy Lee]

Write five things down that you're Biden.

[Ace Cosby]

We go from Trump to.

[Frank Caliendo]

Folks, come on. What are we doing?

[Tom Griswold]

Go to where the sneer has gone from. Kick Casey's lips now. Casey's serious.

[Frank Caliendo]

I don't have AI. I can't just. You think I have a.

[Tom Griswold]

A 10 lines from the bottom.

[Christy Lee]

I have never heard you ruin anything more effectively in life.

[Frank Caliendo]

This could go viral for all the wrong reasons. That's what could happen here.

[Ace Cosby]

No, don't worry, it won't.

[Josh Arnold]

Are we still in Biden, folks?

[Christy Lee]

Come on. Come, folks.

[Ace Cosby]

No, no, sir, we're still in here. Joe, over here.

[Christy Lee]

Joe. Joe, over here.

[Frank Caliendo]

Joe.

[Ace Cosby]

Joe.

[Tom Griswold]

Mr. He's still Mr. President. You got to call him Mr. President.

[Christy Lee]

Mr. President.

[Tom Griswold]

Mr. Biden.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, boy.

[Tom Griswold]

Mr. Biden.

[Christy Lee]

He's out in the hallway now.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, very good.

[Christy Lee]

Out in the hallway.

[Tom Griswold]

Kamala. Kamala, more coffee. Okay, have a seat. There we go. Okay, Joe Biden is back line 10 Joe.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, no, I think. I think now we're greeting.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, that was that. That's the big laugh you're supposed to go out on.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, okay. Sorry, sorry.

[Frank Caliendo]

Okay. And somewhere men are laughing. And somewhere children shout, but there is no joy in Mudville. This bit has just struck out.

[Tom Griswold]

And you didn't want to do it. Thank you very much, Frank Caliendo, ladies and gentlemen.

[Christy Lee]

I declare that a success. Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. He really did a lot of laughs.

[Tom Griswold]

We had a good time.

[Ace Cosby]

A lot of laughs. We had a good time.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, it's better than what was going.

[Tom Griswold]

On before it, guys.

[Chick McGee]

Exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, let's. Let's go back to Christy Lee once again. You'll find her at. At the SILAC Insurance news desk, of course. And what have we missed in the world of news? Christy Lee.

[Chick McGee]

U.S. customs officers in Indianapolis intercepted counterfeit Botox shipments.

[Christy Lee]

Counterfeit.

[Chick McGee]

Counterfeit.

[Christy Lee]

I like that.

[Chick McGee]

According to the agency, three of the four packages came from Great Britain and were manifested as marketing product samples, while one from Indonesia was labeled as cosmetic preparations. $8,500 worth of counterfeit Botox was apprehended.

[Tom Griswold]

We've had a bunch of stories about this fake Botox. Is it just. Is it really Botox but, like watered down or not?

[Chick McGee]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

FDA approved?

[Chick McGee]

I would never, ever do that. That's not my thing.

[Tom Griswold]

But it was labeled Cosmetic Preparations. Wasn't that the name of your high school band? It was. Weren't you in my band Cosmetic Preparations?

[Josh Arnold]

I play bass.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, have you ever had the Botox?

[Chick McGee]

No. I don't like needles. You know that I read an article about.

[Tom Griswold]

They said that some of it is actually watered down.

[Chick McGee]

I mean, that would make sense.

[Tom Griswold]

I've never had that.

[Frank Caliendo]

What was Botox invented for? For migraines.

[Chick McGee]

Botulism. Yeah, they do. To use it.

[Tom Griswold]

It's poison. Right. Wasn't that the famous Vichy. Vichy SWA soup or something? Botulism.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

So they're doing fake face poison. That's what people are doing.

[Chick McGee]

Well, I think what they're doing is they're selling a vial of Botox. Let's say it goes for $120. They water it down and still sell it to you for $120. But they're making more money because they can make more vials.

[Tom Griswold]

But we had the thing about men were putting Botox into their male members.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

I haven't heard about that at all. Really?

[Tom Griswold]

You might have been gone. That. It was just a couple weeks ago.

[Christy Lee]

How would that help in any way?

[Chick McGee]

I think it straightens the wrinkles in your sac.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, was in the saccular area?

[Chick McGee]

I think so, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Is there anybody who actually gets that good a look at their junk on a weekly basis, monthly basis?

[Chick McGee]

Does anyone care that much?

[Ace Cosby]

Everyone knows it's there and you scrub it. But your scrot's gonna scrote.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, it's gotta scrote.

[Chick McGee]

I mean, it's not a beauty contest, is it?

[Ace Cosby]

I mean, there might be a ball competition out there. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, really?

[Ace Cosby]

Boy, here he is.

[Christy Lee]

Absolutely.

[Tom Griswold]

Mr.

[Ace Cosby]

Smooth Ball.

[Tom Griswold]

Every. Every Thursday, it's amateur ball night at the Ramrod lounge.

[Frank Caliendo]

Getting a Mr. Testicle.

[Ace Cosby]

I like the more subtle. Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, okay.

[Ace Cosby]

That is more subtle.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Oh, you heard it? Yeah, they are. It's being done according to this new account. But I know we had this story. I didn't give it to you because I thought it was fake. But then I heard it again on the national news the other day. Did you see this thing about the comedy club in Britain supposedly is banning audience members who have used Botox on their face?

[Chick McGee]

No, that can't be.

[Frank Caliendo]

I saw that.

[Tom Griswold]

You see this article?

[Chick McGee]

And how do you know someone's had Botox?

[Ace Cosby]

Well, what's the idea?

[Tom Griswold]

It says a comedy club in Britain is banning audience members with Botox due to.

[Christy Lee]

Who's this guy?

[Tom Griswold]

This is bs why? Why?

[Ace Cosby]

What are they claiming?

[Frank Caliendo]

It's to get people to talk about it. It has to be.

[Ace Cosby]

What are they saying?

[Tom Griswold]

That the people out there, they can't laugh. Botox can't laugh. They can't move their faces.

[Ace Cosby]

Okay, Jesus. It took us 20 minutes to get to why they.

[Tom Griswold]

Right, because you kept interrupting me.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, I did.

[Tom Griswold]

Club owner Mark Ross.

[Ace Cosby]

You wait.

[Frank Caliendo]

Anybody want to hear them? Anybody want to hear the middle of Casey at the back?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I do again, because I never heard it before.

[Christy Lee]

What's that line? Line six to line ten.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. The club owner says. I've had numerous complaints from performers who find it increasingly challenging to gauge audience engagement and have it bounce off.

[Chick McGee]

This is complete way you can tell if somebody. Just by looking. I mean, you think you can, but you can't.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Can't judge someone like that. Maybe they just. They're sour pusses.

[Tom Griswold]

Watch out for the fake, whatever it is. Scrotox they call it. They really do call it Scrotox for the.

[Ace Cosby]

Right, right.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. The doctor. And they have to inject it down there. So can you mention. The doctor goes, you're gonna feel a small prick. So are you, Doc. But let's move forward.

[Chick McGee]

We have an update on Rogaine making a comeback as a hair loss pill.

[Christy Lee]

Here we go.

[Chick McGee]

Under its generic name Minoxidil. Back in the 90s, you'll remember the ads for Rogaine, the topical solution that purported to help treat thinning hair when applied to the scalp. But now dermatologists have increasingly been prescribing the drug Minoxidil in low dose pills to help men and women maintain or regrow hair. The practice follows several recent studies suggesting the ingredient works as well or possibly better when swallowed rather than applied to hair follicles on the head.

[Tom Griswold]

I heard on Joe Rogan's podcast.

[Chick McGee]

Did you?

[Tom Griswold]

It was great. Yeah, he still.

[Frank Caliendo]

Jamie, pull up that hair. Oh my God. That's effing nuts.

[Tom Griswold]

That's pretty easy. Very good. I don't think.

[Frank Caliendo]

Then Jordan Peterson showed up. It's not, it's not what it's about.

[Tom Griswold]

It's not what.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's just, it's not people injecting things into their scrotum for fun. These people need this.

[Christy Lee]

It's pure.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's, it's not conjecture. It's a rexicillin.

[Tom Griswold]

Right now we're gonna check in with, with Chick Magee over there.

[Christy Lee]

That's right. Let me tell you about Simplisafe. We all have routines that bring us calm and chaotic, often scary world world. And how much would you pay for peace of mind? Well, I know where you can get it. It's at Simply Safe we trust. Simply Safe here at the Bob and Sound studios have cameras on site and a security system. Traditional systems only take action after somebody's already broken into your house. And yeah, that sounds like too late because it is. Simplisafe has active guard outdoor protection that can help prevent break ins before they occur. AI powered cameras from Simple SimplySafe backed by live professional monitoring agents monitor your property and detect suspicious activity. If someone's lurking around or acting suspiciously. Simplexafe agents see and talk to them in real time. They activate spotlights, even contact the police. All before they have the chance to get inside your home. There's no long term contracts or cancellation fees of Simplisafe and monitoring plans start affordably at around a dollar a day. And SimpleSafe has that 60 day satisfaction guarantee guarantee or your money back. Visit simplisafetom.com and get a load of this deal we've got for you. Simply safe tom.com you get 50% off your new system with a professional monitoring plan and your first month free. 50% off in the first month.

[Tom Griswold]

Free.

[Christy Lee]

That's simplisafetom.com there's no safe like simply safe.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much, Chick McGee. Once again, you can see Frank Caliendo on Twitter Tour lots of spots, Dallas, Houston, Louisville, Fort Wayne, Indy, Cincy, Columbus. What's the best place to go for tickets?

[Frank Caliendo]

Frank onstage.com it just, it's, it's the same as Frank Caliendo.com which is see Alien do. Frank C. Alien do. But frankonstage.com is much easier to spell.

[Tom Griswold]

And a bunch of those shows are going to feature Al Jackson and Willie G. Yes, it's going to be great. And we're going to be talking with Al Jackson coming up shortly. Also, Alex Lifeson, the great guitarist will be our guest. He's got a new project out there, a lot of cool stuff happening, so stick around. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Al Jackson]

Just got to get a hold of us. Call, fax, mail or email. Get all the contact information you [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Good morning. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Hello, Tom. We have a special guest here in the studio.

[Tom Griswold]

We do indeed. Thank you. Chick Magee, Berber special over there@the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. Thank you. Our guest is comedian Frank Caliendo, mounting a club tour starting in Texas just around the corner on April 3rd. And Frank's got some great shows coming up. Some of them include Willie G. And Al Jackson. It's going to be fun. But Frank has joined us here in the studio and I'm sure we'll be featuring some of this stuff on the various Bob and Tom social media outlets. Perhaps not.

[Chick McGee]

Don't say it was so disdain.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no social media while you're there.

[Christy Lee]

I said the same thing about the horseless carriage.

[Tom Griswold]

My God, you can see Frank and LA be fun. Right now I can see Christy Lee. She's over there at the Silac Insurance news desk. And before we get to Christy, okay, I think it's very important that we explain to Frank that when we have a comedian visitors in here, we like to help them with their careers by giving them some comedy lessons. And of course, who better for that than, than Ace Cosby. Here he is with his joke of the day, Frank.

[Ace Cosby]

For some reason the other day we were talking about prostitutes on this program there.

[Tom Griswold]

Go figure. All right.

[Ace Cosby]

Looking around the room, Hawaii, you know how, how a pirate greets a prostitute now. Yo.

[Tom Griswold]

That was ace copy's joke of the day. Holy.

[Chick McGee]

Brought to you by sleep number sleep better together sleep number smart beds start at only 9.99. Exclusively at a seep number store. That's $999. Price is higher in Alaska and Hawaii.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much, Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Yo ho.

[Tom Griswold]

What's going on over there?

[Chick McGee]

Well, we have another truck spill.

[Ace Cosby]

Ah.

[Christy Lee]

Hey.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh no, no, no.

[Ace Cosby]

What is it?

[Josh Arnold]

They forced me to.

[Chick McGee]

In Virginia, a tractor trailer crash spilled corn onto the Rockfish Gap turnpike.

[Christy Lee]

Get your guitar.

[Chick McGee]

The Albermal county police department and fire rescue responded to the scene where the road was covered in loose corn colonels. According to police.

[Christy Lee]

You think if there's a cafeteria in the army there's it's a corn colonel?

[Ace Cosby]

I hope so.

[Christy Lee]

I hope that happens.

[Chick McGee]

Police said quote, while there was no impact to the travel lanes at this time, the crashes resulted in corn debris across the roadway. Motorists should be aware that scattered corn may attract wildlife to the area.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, I would think so.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

That's serious.

[Chick McGee]

Please drive with caution and stay alert for any animals that may be crossing the road.

[Christy Lee]

Dear Love corn, their favorite.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh boy.

[Josh Arnold]

They normally have you do venture highway or on the road again so I'm going to mix it up a little bit here. Driving on the turnpike in old Virginia dropped a load of corn causing quite an issue. Corn corn attracts wildlife like deer, squirrels and raccoons causing lots of roadkill. This is one corny tune. Corny road. Clean it up. Tow the truck to where it belongs. Bon met Virginia. Get new corn in ya. Drop a load Corny roads.

[Christy Lee]

Nicely done.

[Ace Cosby]

That was funny.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much. That was probably more dangerous than almost any other spill if you think about it.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, yeah, it's got to be.

[Chick McGee]

It does.

[Tom Griswold]

You're going to get yeah. Everything out there. Really. Just suppose they just have to go sweep it all up. They can't just blow it off the road. It'll be then right there on the side of the road where you've got your giant deer. Well be careful out there ladies.

[Chick McGee]

A man in Florida contracted a rare bio threat bacteria after eating a feral pig. According to the case published in emerging infectious diseases. Boy, there's a fun read.

[Christy Lee]

You get the latest emerging infectious diseases.

[Chick McGee]

77 year old now was hospitalized with persistent chest pains for two years.

[Christy Lee]

Today's the day I'm gonna go get something done about. You know what?

[Tom Griswold]

I've finally had it. Yeah, bad chest pains, whatever that could be. Probably just indigestion.

[Christy Lee]

Well I'm is not that raw pig I ate.

[Chick McGee]

Test showed the presence of brucella sui. S, J, an extremely infectious bacteria usually found in pigs. The man recalled receiving a gift of feral swine meat from a local hunter.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, thank you for this.

[Christy Lee]

Prepared himself before consuming what's in that gallon. 55 gallon drum. Nope. Feral pig. That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Is it because he didn't cook it enough?

[Chick McGee]

Well, he underwent. He underwent proper course of antibiotics following this process and then was finally clear of the infection. Yeah. Apparently he didn't cook it thoroughly.

[Ace Cosby]

Gotcha.

[Chick McGee]

You know pork, you got to cook it.

[Christy Lee]

Trichinosis.

[Tom Griswold]

I know. Whenever I get. Whenever I get. What is it? The Jimmy Dean pork sausage. Feral pig pork sausage. Make sure.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Because I like my free range pork sausage.

[Ace Cosby]

There's a grocery store I love that they have wild boar and I got it and I didn't care for it.

[Chick McGee]

Really?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. It was not porky.

[Christy Lee]

Was it gamey?

[Ace Cosby]

I mean it was just an odd flavor. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

How did you prepare it?

[Ace Cosby]

It was already ground.

[Chick McGee]

Ground.

[Ace Cosby]

So I just mixed it with rice and vegetables and the meat itself I just didn't care for. I thought I would love it. Oh, that's essentially feral pig.

[Chick McGee]

But yeah. We need to find something to do.

[Tom Griswold]

The name of the disease again.

[Christy Lee]

It's some French thing.

[Chick McGee]

Brucella sui.

[Tom Griswold]

Brucellis sui. Sounds like one of the contestants on that drag race show.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, don't you make fun of RuPaul Drag Race.

[Ace Cosby]

I will.

[Christy Lee]

Isn't that at least top like five or ten?

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, yeah. I think it's very popular.

[Chick McGee]

So. My girls and I love watching that show. Very entertaining.

[Tom Griswold]

We're hanging out with comedian Frank Caliendo. He's got. The big two were going.

[Chick McGee]

We got one more story here before.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

A Detroit man claims he accidentally left his pet alligator behind at a Sheboygan motel.

[Christy Lee]

I. I got my charger, my phone, my wallet.

[Chick McGee]

I forgot. Police were called to the Pine River Motel where they reptile was found while one of the maids was cleaning the rooms. The motel's manager told the newspaper the three foot long dwarf alligator named. What would you name. What would you name an alligator? Stubby Wally.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I. I was. Got caught up on. It was a short.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. He was really friendly and not frightened. According to the motel manager, Wally's owner, an animal handler was able to drive back from Detroit and retrieve his gator.

[Tom Griswold]

I see.

[Chick McGee]

The manager said the alligator's owner told him he thought Wally had escaped into the wild.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

You remember Wally Gator the cartoon.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Walligator is something Alligator in the swamp. You don't remember that.

[Frank Caliendo]

Was it Hanna Barbera or what he would do?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Have you ever done any professional cartoon voices?

[Frank Caliendo]

Just little things here and there. Nothing, nothing big.

[Tom Griswold]

It's probably a pretty good gig, I would imagine if you get it right.

[Frank Caliendo]

I think so. I think you can do it from anywhere. Now that's, that's the key is you.

[Tom Griswold]

Get on the basement and become whatever it would be.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah. Somebody, somebody just reached out about one the other day that looks like it could go so maybe I'll do something on that. That's actually maybe I hate the audition stuff because they, you have no idea what type of thing they're looking for or if they're even going to listen to the whole thing. So I just like to, if somebody that I know wants to do something, I'm like, yeah, let's do it. That sounds if it's, then it's like.

[Tom Griswold]

What would it sound like if a beaver was talking or.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah, I think it would go something.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. What are we doing here? An Italian beaver.

[Frank Caliendo]

There's a lot of that out there.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, thank you.

[Frank Caliendo]

What do you think about it? It's right there. Right. Coming up in the face.

[Tom Griswold]

Al Jackson, Alex Lifeson and more. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom show.

[Al Jackson]

This is the Bob and Tom show. Text us at 888-262-866. One more Bob and Tom next.

[Tom Griswold]

Bunch of different artists.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. At the Silac Insurance news desk it's Christ. Hello, there's Pat Godwin.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, hello.

[Christy Lee]

Josh Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, Chick.

[Christy Lee]

There's Ace Cosby. Another successful joke of the day. It was magnificent.

[Ace Cosby]

Thank you.

[Christy Lee]

I'm Chick McGee at the orangeinsols.com sports desk. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios and Hello, Tom. We have a special guest right here in the studio.

[Tom Griswold]

We do indeed. He is a semi legendary comedian, Frank Caliento.

[Chick McGee]

Semi.

[Frank Caliendo]

What the hell, Semi sweet semis that drop corn on the freeway.

[Christy Lee]

That's right.

[Frank Caliendo]

Semi.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, Frank's the best. And semi best. You know Frank, I know that you also, I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about this that something Frank had been telling me that Frank will also be doing sort of like a corporate situation where some a company will invite him in and, and he'll do a special show for them. And we were talking about this a couple years ago and Frank said, yeah, the first rule you learned is when someone comes up and goes, yeah, make fun of the CEO's wife. Yeah, she loves it. Make fun of her while you're doing John Madden. And you learn early on if you do that. You may.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, what I do is I, what I try and do is I say, well, let's get them on the phone and tell them I'm going to do that and see what they say. And then they're like, I never mind. We're not going to do that. Don't worry about it. I'm like. Because I'll ask, does the CEO want you to make fun of him? He loves it. He loves this kind of stuff. I'm like, let's talk to him right now and see if that's, that's true. I don't. Yeah, yeah, probably in a bit.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

They bring it up now. It's not. And they don't want to do it.

[Tom Griswold]

You, you know, I think we're gonna hook up. We're ready to hook up with a comedian, Al Jackson, who works on occasion with Mr. Caliento. And there's Al with a brand new facial. Brand new facial hair thing.

[Christy Lee]

Al, I got one word for you. Love the beard.

[Ace Cosby]

Love it. That's good.

[I]

Thank you. This is, this is my Rocky in Training beard.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[I]

In Part four, Right when he's in Russia in the snow.

[Christy Lee]

That's right. That's where I am lifting the logs. Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you, are you trimming it at all? It looks really good.

[I]

A little bit. My, my beard grows in, but I can, I can never get that thick, like, bush beard that it seems like all UFC fighters are born with. Like, I can never get Thomas that beard. I want that one.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow, you're looking good.

[Christy Lee]

You're keeping that mustache tight. I see that. I, I, I don't know if I care for that. I don't know if I care for that.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[I]

I was going to say, Tom, you, you messed up Frank's intro.

[Ace Cosby]

Like.

[I]

Yes. Frank will be hitting stages for a bunch of dates. I will be joining him as a special guest on a bunch of those dates. You can see those on Al Jackson, ig. But Frank will also be sitting in front of some st. Stages. Tom, because I have talked to.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[I]

And he has promised me.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, I have not. There's, that's not, that's not a true statement whatsoever. This is a terrible idea.

[I]

No to a black shake joint. A piece promise from a friend to a friend. Frank, we are on.

[Frank Caliendo]

That. I, I, I would be.

[I]

I have the screenshots.

[Frank Caliendo]

No, well, then you. Well, then you.

[I]

I got receipts, as the kids say.

[Christy Lee]

Well, is this like a gambling house? Is that what you said?

[Frank Caliendo]

I said. I think I said something as he.

[I]

Joke.

[Frank Caliendo]

As a joke. And he goes, oh, that's happening. I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's not happening.

[I]

Yes.

[Ace Cosby]

A shank joined his strip club.

[Josh Arnold]

I thought you were having burgers and shakes.

[Chick McGee]

Aren't you?

[Frank Caliendo]

So.

[I]

Me too.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you ever hear the time Godwin had his car break down and he had to wait for the police at a. A black strip club in Detroit?

[Josh Arnold]

Amateur night. Motown. Amateur night in Detroit. Yeah, it was called the Flight club.

[I]

Did you go, my car broke down and somebody stole $700 in cash from me recently.

[Chick McGee]

Did you enjoy it?

[Josh Arnold]

It was. It was a different experience for me.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[I]

I. I think you should be talking to Frank about this, because this is going down.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm.

[Christy Lee]

I think I. Frank, for a long time, I've never seen him more uncomfortable than right this moment.

[Frank Caliendo]

There's only one strip club I've ever been to, and it was for a sketch on mad tv. It was me and Ike Barinholtz in Jacksonville before the Super Bowl. And the talent hadn't gotten there yet. The higher level talent.

[I]

So it was the Jacksonville two weeks early.

[Frank Caliendo]

It was earlier than it was maybe a Tuesday or Wednesday before everybody was getting in. Yeah, day shift there. I. And I was almost as uncomfortable there as I am right now.

[Ace Cosby]

Have you picked out a city?

[I]

Well, we have a bunch of.

[Ace Cosby]

There's no we in this because they vary.

[I]

Saying we have a lot of cities to choose from. But, Ace, you know, as you look through all the cities we're going to be in, I mean, I see Washington, D.C. sitting right there.

[Tom Griswold]

Perfect.

[Ace Cosby]

Perfect.

[I]

Chocolate City.

[Tom Griswold]

The term shake joint, I'm with. I thought it was a burger place.

[Chick McGee]

A shake joint.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I was shaking their booties.

[Tom Griswold]

I get it now.

[Ace Cosby]

There is somebody at this club, though, called Chocolate Custard, so that might.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm just glad there's somebody more Caucasian in this room than me. That is. I am the whitest, stiffest. But around Tom, I feel like I'm in the 70s with goldfish shoes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's right. We should explain. Explain. Yes. Go ahead.

[I]

I did want to ask Frank because, you know, usually I quiz you, but since we are in prep mode for whatever's gonna go down in Chocolate City.

[Frank Caliendo]

I wanted to maybe I could just.

[I]

Go to slang word in black strip clubs.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

You got a slang term that's only used in A black strip club for the most part.

[I]

I mean, I'm assuming all strip clubs. We don't. Money doesn't see any color. But Frank, what does the phrase rake it up mean?

[Christy Lee]

Rake it up.

[Frank Caliendo]

Rake it up.

[Tom Griswold]

I can guess this one.

[Frank Caliendo]

Go for it.

[Tom Griswold]

Because I'm presumably the.

[Chick McGee]

The entertainer.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, no, the. The folks in the audience will make it rain, as they say.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Heaving money on the stage is raking it up, gathering the cash before you get off stage after your dance.

[I]

This is what I'm talking about with Tom, right? When we're about to send him down to the minors because he's at an 0 for 31 slump and he's go back down to AAA. You walk up to that playtime and you hit a grand slam. Right? That's exactly what it is. That money's on the ground, your song's over, your dance is over. Now you got to rake up that cash and make space for the next dancer.

[Tom Griswold]

No, exactly, right. The. The. The so called making it rain. You're what's raining down.

[Frank Caliendo]

Is the money not do this any worse?

[Christy Lee]

He is so proud of himself.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, in Canada, Al, I don't know if you know this, but in Canada they have. They don't have like dollars anymore. They have this metal things like loonies and stuff.

[Christy Lee]

They do have dollars, but they're coins.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. So they make it hail, which is really difficult for girls.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yes.

[I]

That could turn into like minor assault. We don't want that.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't the ladies actually wear like a magnetic garter and the money sticks to their thigh or something?

[Chick McGee]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

I think they really.

[Christy Lee]

I think they do.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, yeah, I. I'm incredibly uncomfortable even talking about a strip club. I could never stand going into one.

[Frank Caliendo]

I. I felt awkward at that one.

[I]

So you don't have any tips for Frank heading in there? Like, should he. How should he break his bills down? I think maybe Frank, people know he's not playing around.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe open with a Tracy Morgan impression the think is cute.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Tracy impression for Al.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, that's crazy. I'm barfing all over the place. That's probably what it would be like me just throwing up. It's food poison. Don't worry about it.

[I]

I'll be like, oh, I forgot to tell Frank not to eat at the strip club.

[Tom Griswold]

My bad.

[Frank Caliendo]

Well, you told me there's nothing more. Nobody more popular at a black strip club than a white, white guy.

[I]

Absolutely. Because it's almost the same way. Like, do you remember when a white guy would Go on. Showtime at the Apollo and the crowd would be kind of like laughing, but they'd be like, oh, there's a white dude here. It's because I feel like in black spaces they expect black people to be there, obviously. So when a white guy comes into a black space, he's there because he wants to be there. He obviously has other options. And so it's, you're a novelty. Just like if I, you know, move 40 miles outside of Salt Lake City.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'd be running that city.

[I]

Like, who's this guy?

[Frank Caliendo]

And I am basically going walking that place. I would be basically Eddie Murphy as Mr. White in the 1980s ET Saturday Night Live sketch. I mean, that's a, what's your name? Oh, Mr. White, like there's just.

[Chick McGee]

Would your wife be upset?

[I]

We should set a time limit. Like you have to stay in there for at least 30 minutes.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the rule. Oh, that's a, yeah, that's, I'm with you. I couldn't do it.

[Frank Caliendo]

I would be, I, I don't, I don't know. I, I, I would. My wife be upset. She's, you know, she grew up in an Italian family around. I think my brother in law's at strip club, probably one right now. So I don't know. That's just so not me.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Frank Caliendo]

Might be future me, but I, I don't know. I, that's, I think that's part of me, my worry. I think that's part of it.

[Christy Lee]

You said you would tell Frank how to keep his money. Do you have a system that you keep your dollars in a certain order.

[Chick McGee]

Or something item in your bra? What do you do?

[I]

I'm not a big strip club guy, but I've been to enough where I've seen different techniques.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[I]

Some guys keep it, keep like, almost like not a wad, but it rolled up tightly just in their hand just to let girls know, like, hey, I'm open for a lap dance.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[I]

And then there's some guys that keep like the dollar bills folded in almost like a triangle where they're all sitting flat on top of each other and they sit that on the stage and they kind of just pick that up and almost the way like an old lady would just be putting dollars into, you know, a slot machine. So she just didn't, almost didn't have to reach. He just, just put on the stage to let her know, hey, I'm tipping over here. So come over here and, and do the in between the, you, the, the you know what thing.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. Yeah. Well, first of all, Al, I like you're on your way to becoming James Harden. That beard looks really good. Yes, I think you got to keep.

[I]

That and James Harden famous for going to strip clubs. Can you imagine him in Houston? Oh, my God.

[Christy Lee]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, yeah, if you do that with Frank, be sure to let us know. Frank.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, I don't do it.

[I]

Maybe his wife will let you know before I get to get a chance to tell you. But, yes, we're gonna go. We're gonna have fun. We're gonna honor this gentleman's bet. And Frank now knows what it means to rake it up. And we're ready to go, ready to hit these cities.

[Tom Griswold]

I think.

[Frank Caliendo]

I think my wife's gonna rake it up if I'm there. Yeah, I think that's. I think that's gonna be on the court documents.

[Chick McGee]

No, I think she'd be like.

[Frank Caliendo]

I think she'd laugh at me. Comfortable. I would be at a strip club at all.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I don't think you have to.

[Frank Caliendo]

Worry about her, but I think it was Aries Spears years ago who told me. He goes, oh, at the black strip club. It's a whole different thing, Frank. He's like, it's a different world. It's a different world, Frank.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. Well, on that note, Al, it's always a great pleasure, and we'll look forward to talking to you soon. Thank you very much.

[Ace Cosby]

You know, strippers obviously work on their feet. Oh, yeah, that's what they do. Well, if you also work on your feet all day or night, maybe you're in construction, you're a farmer, a teacher, what have you walking around in those shoes could be offering you zero support because they probably have a thin, flimsy liner in them. You might be experiencing back pain, hip pain, knee pain. You ever seen a stripper with knee pain? It's a bummer. Man up there with that crutch. Well, orange insoles may be the answer. They offer arch support and a deep heel cup that works better in your. Your shoes, helping support your body and giving you better alignment. And check this out. Orange insoles just released their brand new Orange sport insole. Most athletic shoes lack true support, but the Orange Sport features new and exclusive O foam technology with a thin, athletic profile that gives you top performance and three times the durability, as well as 40% more energy return. It balances support and gives you the best, best fit. Find the right orange insoles for you and every shoe. Work boots, dress shoes, sneakers, high heels, you name it. There's no cutting required. These insoles are true to size, including sizes 15 plus. Go to orangeinsoles.com today for free shipping. Plus, orange insoles come with a 60 day. We want you to be happy. Guarantee. That's orangeinsoles.com Feel better. Do more.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much. And if you're that stripper on the Sopranos, you only need one orange insole.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, that's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, that'll be here. So find someone that has a leg. This is really not helping anything, is it? We're hanging out in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. That's Frank Caliendo and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're all here. There's Christy Lee at the SILAC Insurance news desk. Hi, Pat, Guy Godwin. Josh Arnold, Ace Cosby. Frank Caliendo has joined us all morning. We're having a great time. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

It's great to see comedian Frank Caliendo here in the studio with us. He's got a big tour coming up. You can find out about a bunch of these spots. He's doing a special club tour and it will include lots and lots of places where you can hear us right now. Details are [e-mail] we're gonna hook up with another guest in a matter of moments. I think we have time to squeeze in a quick story from Chris Christy Lee.

[Chick McGee]

Authorities in Colorado say thieves nabbed a pair of high priced bulldogs from a suburban Denver pet store, apparently by faking a seizure. The Arapahoe County Sheriff's Office said that while one of the men distracted staff by appearing to have a seizure, another lifted the lid off a puppy pen and made off with two bulldogs worth nearly $4,300 each.

[Christy Lee]

Whoa.

[Chick McGee]

Wow. An employee tried to tackle him. The man dropped the puppies but managed to grab them again, run out with the second man and flee in a gold cap Cadillac Escalade. The 37 year old who allegedly faked the seizure was arrested on suspicion of conspiracy to commit a felony, theft and drug.

[Christy Lee]

Sounds like a regular crime.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. What was this iced teas car joke?

[Chick McGee]

A gold Cadillac Escalade.

[Tom Griswold]

But faking the seizure, That's. Wow, there's a lot going on there.

[Christy Lee]

Distract them so they can open up the puppy pet.

[Tom Griswold]

I wonder if people that are genuinely dealing with epilepsy ever fake one just to get out of a situation.

[Ace Cosby]

Boy, I bet they don't. Yeah, I bet they don't use that.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm just, I, that's a fair Question.

[Ace Cosby]

No, no. Yeah, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Jesus.

[Ace Cosby]

I have acute anxiety disorder. I would not. I. And I've never used, oh, I'm having a panic attack as an excuse to.

[Tom Griswold]

Get out, I think. Do we have our guests now that we're trying to hook up? There we go. I can see it's Mr. Lifeson. The great guitarist Alex Lifeson joins us. I see a handful of guitars behind you, sir.

[Alex Lifeson]

Oh, yes, my toolbox.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's great. Well, it's a great pleasure to speak with you again and tell us about the new program project Envy of None. Can you give me the lineup? I'm. I'm looking at it and it looks like it's going to be amazing. What have you got going here?

[Alex Lifeson]

Well, we released an album a couple of years ago, our first album, just titled Envy of None. It's with Maya Wynn, Andy Curran, Alf Albanini and myself. And the second album is called Stygian Waves, that's released on the 28th, so it will week away and we're very excited about our sophomore record. It's a fantastic record. It's a beautiful sounding record and the material is awesome.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, do you enjoy being able to play with. You got a keyboard with you this time. Back in the day with Rush, it was just the three of you guys up there and when I would see you, I'd get kind of worried. There's. How can three guys be making this much music? You managed to pull it off, but does the keyboard give you a little bit more room?

[Alex Lifeson]

Well, it's just an. An added dimension to the, to the sound. And for Rush, you know, we wanted to incorporate keyboards because we wanted to broaden our sound. With Envy of None. Well, there are two players that play keyboards, so it goes without saying that, you know, we would use them and it's an important integral part of FAR sound.

[Tom Griswold]

What's the, what's the writing process for the band?

[Alex Lifeson]

Well, typically it starts with a germ of an ideal, as it does with most musicians, and we throw that idea around amongst the four of us. Eventually it comes to me and after sort of the bed is done, it comes to me and I'll do scratch guitars, so. And I'll do many tracks and then it'll go to Maya. Maya will start doing her scratch vocals, then it comes back to me and then her vocals inform what I'm going going to do with final guitars. Then it goes back to her and then she works from my final guitars to do her final vocals. So Maya and I particularly have this beautiful dance together. Where we sort of circle each other and, you know, develop our parts until we finally feel that it's done.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. If. When you go back in time and look at all the many particular records you've made, do you remember which guitar you played on each track?

[Alex Lifeson]

I can't remember what I had for.

[Tom Griswold]

Breakfast because, hey, I'll be reading these guitar magazines and the guy will go, yeah, this was 1968. And they'll know the exact guitar they had. I think you got a lot of them. I would think it'd be hard to keep track.

[Alex Lifeson]

You know, I had my favorites over the years, and when I was poor, I couldn't afford more than one or two. So, yeah, that's that. That was the. The basis for those, definitely. For those first few writers records. But since then, I've got a lot of new favorites and I had an auction for charity, and I auctioned off most of my guitars a couple of years ago. So I'm restarting my collection now.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it looks like. Well, that's fun. That's got to be a blast.

[Alex Lifeson]

No kidding.

[Tom Griswold]

We're speaking with the great guitarist Alex Lifeson for many years, of course, in the great band Rush. He's got a new project out there, and it's pronounced Stygian Waves. Am I getting it right?

[Alex Lifeson]

That's correct.

[Tom Griswold]

And what is the origin of that?

[Alex Lifeson]

Stygian Waves comes from an essay written by Ovid, who was a Roman philosopher. And the Stygian Waves refers to the turbulent waters on the River Styx at the front of the gates of hell. The closer you get to hell, the more chaos and turbulence the soul would experience. We like to think that despite these turbulent times, there is a way to navigate through those turbulent waters to calmer waters. We're getting so much closer to those gates of hell, and hopefully we can pull ourselves back.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I have a classical education and I'd never heard of Stygian Waves, so I've been educated. Thank you very much. Once again, we're speaking with the great guitarist Alex Lives, and looking forward to checking out the new project, Stygian Waves. I. Before we say goodbye, I know you got a lot to do here. I have to tell you a very quick story. I saw Rush. I've seen Rush many times. I was. Went to see Rush, and I was in the very last row of Market Square arena, and the guy sitting next to me had lost his thumb in an industrial accident. He was explaining to me before the show that he'd had his toe put up there. So he had an apartment. Composable digit. Kind of an interesting story. But then when the show started, the guy in front of me stood up the entire show screaming, lifeson is God. Which would have been fun for the first song. The entire show. I don't know if you heard him, Alex. He was in the second to last row. But then. But after watching. I love that guy.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

After watching you play, I. I can't not agree. Alex.

[Christy Lee]

Wonder if he.

[Tom Griswold]

Go ahead. I'm sorry.

[Alex Lifeson]

I was gonna say, I wonder if he towed a ride home after the show.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, very good, very good, very good.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you, sir. I can't wait to hear the new project, the great Alex Liveson. Looking good.

[Alex Lifeson]

Thanks a lot, guys.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, sure. Of course. Yeah. That is an absolutely true story. And every chick always gets grossed out when I tell that. But grossed out for what about the.

[Christy Lee]

Guy getting his toe thumbs? Yeah, I don't care.

[Tom Griswold]

His toe taken off. That's a real thing. How did you know that he was wearing sandals? We got talking.

[Christy Lee]

Oh. And he was missing his toe on his foot. And you noticed it was on his hand?

[Tom Griswold]

No. Then he told me. He showed me.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

They turned it into an opposable digit.

[Christy Lee]

There was a guy I met, and he had. Was missing his right toe, and he insisted on wearing sandals. Wouldn't you wear a shoe if you didn't have one of your toes?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Really? Yeah, absolutely.

[Chick McGee]

Well, you don't like sandals anyway, right?

[Christy Lee]

I don't. I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

Aren't there people who deliberately get certain toes taken off? Certain. They can wear certain shoes?

[Chick McGee]

Women. Absolutely.

[Christy Lee]

So they can fit in certain shoes? Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Because their foot's too wide.

[Frank Caliendo]

Doesn't that throw off your balance, though? Balance?

[Chick McGee]

You're wearing high heels. There's very little there.

[Christy Lee]

I mean, right over.

[Ace Cosby]

They had those shoes called New Balance.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, it was comedy. Didn't one of the Gabor sisters have her Achilles tendon shortened so her foot was always in the high heel position?

[Chick McGee]

I have always been told, and I don't know if this is true, that Dolly Parton, because she only wears high heels, hers has permanently stuck like that.

[Christy Lee]

Is that right?

[Chick McGee]

She cannot flatten her feet.

[Christy Lee]

Okay. Because she wears them all the time.

[Chick McGee]

She wears them all the time.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that is weird. Well, welcome back to the Bombaton program. By the way, if you're just joining us, we are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, the orangeinsoles.com sports desk occupied by Chick Magee, Leo, Christy Lee, of course, across the way at the SILAC Insurance News Desk. And in the interview loft, the great comedian Frank Castle, Caliendo. Mounting a huge tour. A bunch of club dates for Frank. And you can get the information by going to frankonstage.com by the way, I just noticed this.

[Christy Lee]

And Tom, you're going to be very excited. I believe Frank is wearing a Creighton Blue Jays golf shirt.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And that is, of course, Creighton.

[Christy Lee]

The Creighton Barrels, one of Tom's favorite basketball teams. The Creighton Barrels.

[Tom Griswold]

There must have be a Creighton Barrel.

[Christy Lee]

Where?

[Frank Caliendo]

Took me a second again.

[Christy Lee]

No, no, no, no, no. No one blames you, Frank.

[Frank Caliendo]

The only thing that sold it to me was the dry look on Chick's face of, how are you? It was somewhere between get it and I can't believe you're not getting this yet. And it was willing it into my brain that this isn't real. I was pushing it like, think, Frank, think, think, think who we're talking about. And it did. It willed its way into me. I went, tom Gris. There it is.

[Christy Lee]

Creighton bar.

[Frank Caliendo]

They know exactly what it is.

[Christy Lee]

That's his sweet spot.

[Tom Griswold]

One of the things about this tournament, to me, it always introduces you to a bunch of colleges you've never heard of.

[Frank Caliendo]

And it introduces Charles Barkley to a bunch of colleges he's never heard. That's my favorite part of the whole thing is watching Barkley not know anything about the teams. Just like everybody watching in the middle of the game. Or they'll go to him after a game. Be like, well, number five did a really great job when the guy with the blue shoes passed to him from the Wildcats.

[Christy Lee]

Which Wildcats?

[Frank Caliendo]

The Wildcats that were playing right there. That was six games ago. Well, those guys were really good as well. They did a really nice job. And then the pink shoe guy passed to the red shoe guy. And I felt that there was some kind of correlation from the shoes.

[Tom Griswold]

What do you think, Shaq?

[Frank Caliendo]

Shaq's not on the show. Well, he is in my head right now. Bring Shaq in. Shaq comes in on a golf cart, going to be for good. Let's make it happen.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's so true. But it's also so neat to see players you've never heard of. And we all.

[Frank Caliendo]

I follow college basketball pretty well, so I know quite a bit of this stuff. And it's funny to watch them say, like, well, this guy's out right now, and he was going to be the best player this year. And they're like, totally wrong. You read a sheet of paper and you had no idea. You haven't watched any basket. And I know from having friends in the business all. A lot of, A lot of the announcers and stuff don't really want to do college basketball games. They want to do NBA games if they're basketball guys or basketball people. So it's interesting to see people get the job, you know, but the jobs that they're doing.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't it more fun, though, to watch something? You don't know what all these guys are going to do.

[Frank Caliendo]

That's why March Madness is. That's what makes it so fun. You don't know. And they're college kids.

[Chick McGee]

I mean, this is their time to shine. So they're putting it all out there.

[Frank Caliendo]

And yeah, it's big time stuff for these kids because you can get. If you have a great NCAA tournament and you were a decent player all year, but you're incredible in the tournament, there's a chance you could get drafted just because of that in the second round.

[Tom Griswold]

Absolutely.

[Frank Caliendo]

It's out of nowhere. You can be somebody who's pretty good, but you had this great tournament. You rise to the occasion in that moment and all of a sudden you're on draft boards and you could be making millions upon there. A lot of these kids are making millions of dollars now and hundreds of thousands, but. And I'm all for that, by the way, because we were talking about off the air a little bit ago.

[Tom Griswold]

That's Josh Arnold.

[Frank Caliendo]

I know who it was. I, I hadn't heard that in a while, but he brought back some great memories.

[Josh Arnold]

I found a poem called Jabberwock. Could you do that? Is Morgan Freeman.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you serious?

[Christy Lee]

Jabberwocke.

[Frank Caliendo]

Oh, well, I was just gonna go recruiting. In college. All sports is basically just lying. So it's like, who's been lied to, the best to go where and now they get money for it.

[Chick McGee]

Are you an Arizona fan?

[Frank Caliendo]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Frank Caliendo]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

But you live there.

[Frank Caliendo]

I do.

[Chick McGee]

There's a good chance they'll win if you're.

[Frank Caliendo]

If you can think that.

[Tom Griswold]

So who do you, who do you actually root for? You grew up in Milwaukee for some reason.

[Frank Caliendo]

I love Creighton. I went there and visited. Visited Creighton.

[Tom Griswold]

The Barrels.

[Frank Caliendo]

I've got them busting, you know, busting through. It's. It's not a popular pick, but they're pretty good. They're really. I become good friends with the coach, Greg McDermott.

[Tom Griswold]

So what does he sound like?

[Frank Caliendo]

He sounds kind of like John C. Reilly, but a little deeper.

[Chick McGee]

I was working on it, but get through Auburn Though.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yes. They got to even get through. Going to be tough. And then if they do Auburn, that's that. The brackets are lots.

[Christy Lee]

One of these small schools, Tom. Tonight Wofford is playing. Wofford from Spartanburg, South Carolina is taking on Tennessee this evening at 6:50 Eastern Time. Tennessee Volunteers and the Wofford Terriers. That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

No kidding.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, that's. God Loves a Terrier.

[Tom Griswold]

I think we have time to do something very special for Frank.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't think Frank is aware of this. There is a. An art form that apparently is long gone called called diddling.

[Frank Caliendo]

As uncomfortable as.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no, no. This is. I think you're gonna like this a lot.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Sounds like this is. This is a recording from 1974. This was a competition in the UK.

[Frank Caliendo]

You were the most accidentally funny person ever.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, we. We tell him that every day.

[Frank Caliendo]

And he just be super serious. Just be as serious as you can be.

[Christy Lee]

He still tries to prepare the hell out of it. And that's not. The funny part is.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, is it Scotland?

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

This is. This is real.

[Christy Lee]

Is this me?

[Tom Griswold]

Should I do this?

[Christy Lee]

Okay, here's the diddling champion on stage.

[Tom Griswold]

And there's an audience there listening.

[Frank Caliendo]

Sounds like an audience of one or two.

[Tom Griswold]

Packed house. Really.

[Chick McGee]

It was a packed house.

[Frank Caliendo]

Gotta be quiet for the diddling.

[Chick McGee]

Do we have the video? Oh, Jason's looking for it.

[Tom Griswold]

It is.

[Chick McGee]

You have to see it.

[Tom Griswold]

So funny. And.

[Christy Lee]

And they have BBC commentators covering it on television.

[Tom Griswold]

This was. This was a real competition because it sounds like an American cartoon.

[Frank Caliendo]

It did not sound. And it's probably tougher than you think. But. But that was. Didn't sound like it was difficult at all. Something anybody could do.

[Josh Arnold]

That's exactly what we said. We all did it all.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Frank Caliendo]

I'm doing this. Charles Barkley.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a jl. How would Shatner do it?

[Josh Arnold]

How would Liam Neeson do it?

[Tom Griswold]

Top.

[Frank Caliendo]

Diddly. D. Diddly.

[Ace Cosby]

Diddly D. Celebrity diddly.

[Frank Caliendo]

And you didn't want to find out like Epstein's eyes.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, who said I didn't want to find out about.

[Frank Caliendo]

Was that too much for this room?

[Josh Arnold]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Made my day. Oh, that's so nice. Right now we're going to find out a little bit about our friends at the Silac Insurance Company. Because what's happening in our world these days. Days is maybe your parents had that thing where they get the. They get the gold watch and they. They keep getting paid. Hey, you did such a nice job here. We're going to keep paying You a highly unlikely in today's world. This is where annuities come in. You can start relaxing now because you know you're going to be prepared. Then if you're thinking about retiring down the road a piece, well, maybe it's time to get yourself set up with an annuity. And the authority on annuities, of course, is the Silac Insurance Company. And you can find out all about them by going to silacilecins.com or just go to bobandtom.com we have a link that'll hook you up with the folks at Silex so you can get some information about annuities. Now, certain restrictions apply, but you may qualify. Find out and you'll be able to relax a lot more knowing that in the future you're going to still be getting money. And you can arrange. So that'll come on a monthly basis, whatever you want. That's what annuities are all about. And the SILAC folks know all about it. They are the annuity experts. So if you've been thinking about it, check it out once again. S I l a c silac s I l a c I n s dot com or just go to bobandtom dot com and Mr. Chick Magee will guide you through finding out some information.

[Christy Lee]

That's me. I teach how to work a mailbox.

[Tom Griswold]

That's right. And Christy Lee, of course, is over there at the Silicon Insurance news desk. Coming up, we've got Mr. Frank Caliendo and more stuff. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Al Jackson]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning even though we're not too much to look at. You can also watch the show on our YouTube channel.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, please.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Josh Arnold, Ace Cosby, Christy Lee, there's Pat Godwin. Frank Caliendo's been hanging out all morning. Very fun. I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Chick. We taught Mr. Caliendo about the fine lost art of diddling.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Once again, it's, it's from Scotland. Is that correct?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You. There's a competition. Apparently it's. They no longer do it.

[Ace Cosby]

They should.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Should go right back to it.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe we could bring it back.

[Christy Lee]

We could bring it back. That and the putt putt tournament. I'm telling you, American diddling.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

We could do a tiddling. A diddling. Tiddling.

[Tom Griswold]

That would Be vastly different.

[Christy Lee]

Later we go to the putt putt for tiddling.

[Tom Griswold]

You strap on some bells and have.

[Christy Lee]

We forgotten today in history again. And here we are.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

We have around staring at our belly buttons.

[Tom Griswold]

Light day in history. I think.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. If you want to do it, we can.

[Chick McGee]

Spring equinox.

[Christy Lee]

That seems loud. History. March 20th. Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. This would be a good day to do something.

[Christy Lee]

All right. Oh, get your name on the list.

[Frank Caliendo]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's not. Not. Doesn't go deep today.

[Christy Lee]

A little slow.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. A couple. A couple good birthdays.

[Christy Lee]

For instance.

[Tom Griswold]

Carl Reiner, one of the comedy rates.

[Christy Lee]

Goodness gracious.

[Tom Griswold]

Born in 1922.

[Christy Lee]

Incredible. He was on the staff of Sid Caesar.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Christy Lee]

Am I getting to squaw in? Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. The father of meathead, if you will. The great Rob Rein.

[Christy Lee]

That's right. That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

And. Oh, this is good news. Did you see this? Spinal Tap 2 is on the way.

[Christy Lee]

I saw that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

I don't want to. I've seen the trailer. So I don't want to give it away. You need to see the trailer.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I've seen it.

[Christy Lee]

It's really good.

[Tom Griswold]

Right? It's coming, what, September.

[Christy Lee]

So silly. I think it was earlier than that. I thought about July, something.

[Tom Griswold]

Be looking for that. So. Ooh. Sorry. Fred Rogers. Born in this state in 1928.

[Christy Lee]

A national treasure. Why did you say ooh?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, if you're his neighbor now you're living in a cemetery. Sorry to hear that.

[Chick McGee]

We don't live forever.

[Christy Lee]

The spirit lives on King Friday. And Mr. McFeely.

[Frank Caliendo]

And does anyone know what today is? Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, kitty meow.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, a lot of us. How about that?

[Christy Lee]

And the postman and all that. When you're.

[Frank Caliendo]

When you're older and you realize that's just him doing all those voices, you're like, they're not even that good.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. The puppet's mouths don't even move on half of them.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah. He just shakes them with his heads.

[Frank Caliendo]

I was like 30 when I realized what Donkey Hodie was. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Donkey. I feel like coming to work half ass Fred.

[Frank Caliendo]

Half assed.

[Tom Griswold]

You ever considered coming into work and changing your shoes and putting on a sweater?

[Chick McGee]

There's no.

[Christy Lee]

No, but I. I'm. I'm not opposed to.

[Ace Cosby]

You would just stop the show dead and feed the fish for five minutes.

[Josh Arnold]

It was a weird show.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, it was kind of a weird show. But very comforting.

[Frank Caliendo]

Hello, neighbor.

[Chick McGee]

Very relaxing.

[Frank Caliendo]

Dermick. Feely.

[Tom Griswold]

One of my favorites, sadly. Also gone, the actor William Hurt.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

From the great, great movies like Body Heat and Broadcast News. What's the one where he plays the. The brother where he's the killer?

[Ace Cosby]

History of violence.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh my.

[Christy Lee]

He's in that for about 10 minutes and he got nominated for an Oscar and he's absolutely. He should have won.

[Tom Griswold]

But.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Where did we see him naked?

[Christy Lee]

That was recently Viggo Mortensen. Who?

[Chick McGee]

William Hurt.

[Tom Griswold]

Body Heat.

[Chick McGee]

No, never mind.

[Tom Griswold]

1930, KFC was founded by Colonel Harland Sanders.

[Christy Lee]

Wow. Colonel founded Kentucky Fried Chicken.

[Tom Griswold]

Mr. Oh, that's true. Yes.

[Christy Lee]

He would not care for the kfc.

[Ace Cosby]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

And I think the sound you're hearing right now of him spinning in his grave because they're moving their headquarters to Texas. Right?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. We did this. We.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

You may have done the story.

[Christy Lee]

I don't listen to me. I detest me.

[Frank Caliendo]

And we're going to call it Kentucky Fried Chicken of Texas.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, sir. Let's see.

[Christy Lee]

Is that a great name?

[Frank Caliendo]

It's a Great of America.

[Tom Griswold]

1982. Joan jets song. I love rock and roll. Top tops the charts.

[Christy Lee]

And that was not the original version of that song. Did.

[Tom Griswold]

No, she did not write that.

[I]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

It's like by the jets or so. Or not the Jet, but it's some group.

[Ace Cosby]

It is group. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. It's. That's a keeper.

[Christy Lee]

I put the dime in the jukebox.

[Ace Cosby]

Now. Are you a fan of Weird Al's? I love Rocky Road.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

I am not familiar with that.

[Christy Lee]

I am a fan of Al. Al Yankovic.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[I]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Him.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

As a person.

[Christy Lee]

As a person.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I like a bunch of his stuff. But I don't happen to care for Rocky Road ice cream. Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

You know, I'm kind of with you. I don't. I don't need it.

[Christy Lee]

I lost on Jeopardy, baby.

[Ace Cosby]

I love that.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Frank Caliendo]

I want a new duck.

[Ace Cosby]

That one. Not great.

[Frank Caliendo]

Not great. Wait a minute.

[Tom Griswold]

How about eat it? Of course, eat it.

[Christy Lee]

I was not aware of. I want a new duck.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. Huey Lewis.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Another one rides.

[Ace Cosby]

I believe it's. I want a new duck. One that won't quack all night.

[Tom Griswold]

Come on.

[Christy Lee]

I stand correct. That one I like.

[Tom Griswold]

Real quick. Thanks. Of course, to Frank Caliendo. By the way, if you are looking for like the greatest corporate event ever, Frank on occasion is able to do those. So go to Frank's website and root around. You'll find out how.

[Christy Lee]

And he will make fun of your boss. Second or third hand information. He'll go Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Frank's big tour. The tickets are all [e-mail] and a lot of these shows are going to feature Al Jackson and Willie G. So some great stuff. And Frank's always terrific on stage, even when he wears that big tie, that throwback Bob, Bob Wood, Bob Woodward tie.

[Frank Caliendo]

And the Merrill Hodge tie.

[Tom Griswold]

All the President's men. Thanks again, Frank. It's always a great pleasure. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Al Jackson]

For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom show contest rules, go to bob and tom.com contest rules. Or just scroll down to the bottom of the page and see contest test rules. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Expert entrepreneur Ed Mylett is on a.

[Al Jackson]

Mission to max out your life.

[Christy Lee]

I exist here weekly so that you.

[Tom Griswold]

Can make your dreams come true.

[Christy Lee]

Become the man or woman you're capable.

[Tom Griswold]

Of and then pay it forward. It's time to get laser focused on peak performance. Clarity equals focus and focus equals success.

[Christy Lee]

Us.

[Tom Griswold]

That's what I'm here to do every week with you. Max out the Ed Mylette Show. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.