The BOB & TOM Show - March 20, 2026

Summary

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The BOB & TOM Show – March 20, 2026

Overview

In this lively mix of comedy, news, sports, and quick-witted banter, the BOB & TOM Show celebrates the first day of spring (the vernal equinox), dives deep into March Madness, riffs on the sensory realities of American towns, and welcomes regular guest Heywood Banks. The cast covers everything from scented towns and sports brackets to sideburn history, edible nail polish, dumb criminal stories, and who has the best walk-up song. Segments are marked by musical performances, comedic asides, and the collaborative (often chaotic) humor that defines the show.

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Main Cast & Guests

• Tom Griswold: Ringmaster, host
• Chick McGee: Sports & banter
• Jess Hooker: News
• Pat Godwin: Music & comedy
• Jeff Oskay: Commentary
• Ace Cosby: One-liners
• Heywood Banks: Comedian/musician, guest

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

The Spring Equinox & Opening Chatter (00:16 – 02:00)

• Equinox Bits: Haywood Banks sets the tone with playful equinox wordplay.

  • Chick: “Equinox, it sounds like something online, like eBay or E-Trade. But it’s not.” (00:49)
  • “Spring is sprung.” Show confirms the official start of spring, 10:46 am EST. (01:25)

• Show Roll Call: Studio introductions with their usual ribbing and inside jokes. Chick is “the smartest man alive” for his previous sports picks. (02:02)

March Madness, Brackets & Upsets (02:13 – 03:56, 52:40 – 54:20)

• Upset Central: Wisconsin upset by High Point, breaking most brackets ("27 million brackets, 10,000 remain perfect"). (02:31–02:56)
• Orange Insoles Bracket: Listeners can win a 4K TV even if brackets are busted. (03:15; 34:36; 136:47)
• Brackets Recap: Sports desk updates—TCU, Texas, High Point upsets, etc. (46:40; 52:40; 64:42)

Town Smells & Scented Letters (05:30 – 29:40, 43:07 – 46:00)

• America’s Scents: Listeners write in about their hometowns' iconic smells: food processing, coffee, soybeans, peanut butter, Jolly Rancher factory, Maxwell House, Smithfield bacon, El Monterey burritos.
  • “Your car could be dusted with grape…” (06:12)
  • “The whole town smelling like cherry drink mix. It was great.” - Jess, reading listener Harmony (06:14)
• Comedic Takes: Jokes about cremation plants ("smells like the best pork barbecue”), paper mills ("rough"), and high school olfactory adaptation.

Edible Nail Polish and Fetishes (20:26 – 22:30)

• Strange Products: New flavored toenail polish and edible nail polish spark foot fetish discussions.
  • Jess: “I was like, why on Earth would you have a flavor? … Oh my gosh.”
  • Chick: “For the 50th straight year, foot fetish is the number one fetish in America.” (21:30)

Musical & Comedy Interludes

• Walk-Up Songs: Cast and listeners select their perfect "walk-up" songs, referencing baseball players’ signature at-bats.
  • Tom’s: Intro to “Sweet Jane”
  • Chick’s: “Strawberry Letter 23”
  • Jess’: “Last Resort” by Papa Roach
  • Listener: “Do the Freddie” by Freddie and the Dreamers
  • [30:13–32:18; 45:59–48:10]
• Heywood Banks Robotic Colonoscopy Bit: Heywood jokes about his colonoscopy prep: “They gave me Go Lightly, ironically the name of Audrey Hepburn’s character in Breakfast at Tiffany’s…” (91:08)
• Pat Godwin—Deny Song: Comedic song about how to cheat and “deny, deny, deny.” Sing-along with the group. (40:54–43:06)
• Heywood Banks—Chicken Fried Steak: Comical new song about questionable tattoos. (128:46–131:38)
• Heywood Banks—Trauma to the Groin: Musical ode to "funny video" nut-shots. (145:01–149:01)

Absurd Letters & Listener Interactions

• Listener Letters: The show reads and riffs on mail from fans—puppy pics, town scents, sports picks, shot-out to the Roger Bacon High School Underwater Hockey Team. (47:22–49:40)
• Hubcap Humor: Missing hubcaps, "hillbilly" ashtrays, and the pain of driving around with incomplete wheels. (56:39–59:47)
• Cardigan vs. Sweater Debate: Jess and Chick compare their wardrobe choices; Tom expresses sweater aversion. (77:32–78:09)

Trending News & Social Commentaries

• Buried Skeletons at Playground (Dijon, France): Children find a skeleton seated upright, part of a mysterious pattern of ancient Gaulish burials facing west. (100:44–104:44)
  • Tom: “What a cool thing to come home from school! Pierre, what did you do today? ‘We found a skeleton!’” (101:06)
• Sideburn History: Origin of “sideburns” (General Burnside), 1800s fake whiskers, and even women drawing on sideburns. (39:00, 83:31–86:13)
• Dick Van Dyke Turns 100: Discussion of the legendary comedian’s longevity (“never getting angry”) and the legacy of the Dick Van Dyke show. (80:05–83:18)
• Screen Time and Sex: Survey says more time on screens correlates with more sex, but also that people believe less screen time would help intimacy. (109:48–111:49)
• Robots Gone Wild: San Jose robot waiter malfunctions at a hot pot restaurant; Tom shares sushi robot experience. (151:11–153:40)

Fun Facts, Games & References

• Walk-up Music & Car Tech: The cast dreams of approaching their cars to custom “walk-up” music, just like MLB players. (30:04–32:00)
• Silent Walking Trend: TikTok's "silent walking" is really just a device-free walk—Tom: “Or as we used to call it, walking.” (105:52–107:28)
• Hippo & Zoo Trespassers: Reiteration of “Not Every Zoo is a Petting Zoo” after a man trespasses into a hippo enclosure. Imaginary song by Pat about the neutered Escobar hippos. (156:12–159:42)

Timestamps for Notable Segments

| Topic | Timestamp | |-------------------------------------------------------------|--------------| | Vernal Equinox Comedy | 00:16–01:44 | | March Madness Bracket Bust | 02:13–03:56 | | Flavored Town Letters | 05:39–06:14 | | Edible Nail Polish & Fetish Chat | 20:26–21:59 | | Walk-Up Songs | 30:04–32:27 | | Deny Song (Godwin) | 40:54–43:06 | | Trauma to the Groin (Banks) | 145:01–149:01| | Skeletons at School Playground | 100:44–104:44| | Sideburn History Special | 83:31–86:13 | | Robots Malfunction in Restaurant | 151:11–153:40| | Silent Walking Trend | 105:52–107:28| | Dick Van Dyke Turns 100 | 80:05–83:18 |

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Notable Quotes

• Chick (re: March Madness brackets):

  • “Out of 27 million brackets on ESPN, 10,000 remain that are still perfect. That’s after 16 games yesterday.” (02:31)

• Tom Griswold (on walk-up music):

  • “Wouldn't it be cool if there was a way to have your car play music as you walked up? Like Major League Baseball walk-up music…” (30:04)

• Jess Hooker (on edible nail polish):

  • "Why on earth would you have a flavor? And then I was like, oh my gosh ... foot fetish guy." (21:17)

• Chick (on foot fetishes):

  • “For the 50th straight year, foot fetish is the number one fetish in America, I believe.” (21:30)

• Pat Godwin (singing):

  • "If you want to be a cheater, go out of state to meet her..." (from the "Deny" song) (40:54)

• Heywood Banks (on colonoscopy prep):

  • “They gave me this jug of stuff, ‘Go Lightly,’ which is ironically the name of Audrey Hepburn’s character in Breakfast at Tiffany’s…” (91:08)

• Tom (on the skeleton find):

  • “What a cool thing to come home from school! Pierre, what did you do today? ‘We found a skeleton!’” (101:06)

• Chick (on the forbidden glizzy at Costco):

  • “You stuff the hot dog into the chicken bake… it’s a thing.” (140:39)

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Tone & Style

The show motors forward in its signature style—irreverent, rapid-fire, a blend of PG-13 banter, musical parodies, and comedic riffing on everything from the news of the weird to inside jokes about walk-up music and life’s sensory oddities. Listeners are invited into the ongoing camaraderie, with playful jabs, occasional double entendres, and the extended BOB & TOM family dynamic. The presence of Haywood Banks adds fresh comedy music and self-deprecating wit.

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Additional Highlights

• Charity Tie-ins: Special baseball-themed T-shirts benefit Brave Gowns, supporting kids in hospitals. (11:27–12:32; 78:23)
• Listener Interactivity: Emails and letters about hometowns' unique smells, sports, and more; encouragement to reach out via email and app.
• Heywood Banks’ Tour: On the road in Kentucky and Cincinnati, with mentions throughout (IDs, songs).

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Summary

If you missed this episode, you missed insightful and wild March Madness recaps; a deep dive into America’s best and worst-smelling towns; news-of-the-weird stories (seated skeletons at a playground! a malfunctioning robot waiter!); hilarious musical interludes; and the BOB & TOM team's take on everything from walk-up music to why old bikes have that brutal top bar. While always loose and full of inside jokes, the show is also surprisingly informative, energetically paced, and always geared for laughs.

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Transcript

[Chick McGee]

It's the bob and tom show.

[Tom Griswold]

Sitting on a park bench, noticing the

[Chick McGee]

day and night lights the same lang.

[Tom Griswold]

Equinox.

[Haywood Banks]

Vernal or autumnal? I prefer vernal, but autumnal's not bad.

[Chick McGee]

Equinox. It sounds like something online, like ebay or E trade. But it's not equinox

[Haywood Banks]

if you are nocturnal.

[Chick McGee]

You've got 12 hours to get all your stuff done. Equinox.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh,

[Chick McGee]

equinox. 10:46 Eastern. I think this morning has been. Spring is sprung.

[Tom Griswold]

That official?

[Chick McGee]

It's official.

[Tom Griswold]

The equinox means what?

[Chick McGee]

Same amount of something about equal. I know.

[Tom Griswold]

Daylight.

[Chick McGee]

We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. It's the Bob and Tom Show. There's Jess Hooker at the news desk. Hello, there's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jeff Oskay. Yeah, look at that. There's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick McGee at the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. And the smartest man alive, there's Tom. Hello.

[Tom Griswold]

Is this referring to your sports picks from yesterday?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I got Michigan State, I got Siena, I got missed Ohio State, and then I forget what the fourth one was. As you can tell, it's very important to me.

[Tom Griswold]

So most brackets already busted.

[Chick McGee]

Well, on the back of Wisconsin being upset by High Point. 8,000, 382. Yesterday, every most everyone had Wisconsin advancing. The official number is out of 27 million brackets on ESPN, 10,000 remain that are still perfect. That's after 16 games yesterday.

[Tom Griswold]

Not bad.

[Chick McGee]

Not you know how many 27 million is, right.

[Tom Griswold]

Sure. But I know that 10,000 is significant.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Jeff Oskay]

Are they all from that college?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, they're all alumni.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, they're all from High Point. A lot of people graduate from High Point.

[Tom Griswold]

High Points. A gorgeous place.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, High Point, North Carolina.

[Tom Griswold]

Beautiful, beautiful school. Now we have our Orange insoles bracket up and running. I don't have the official numbers of how many of you are left, but if you're not, all is not lost.

[Jess Hooker]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

The Orange insoles folks, have a great idea. How about winning a 4K TV? Now? Explain the 4K thing, Chick. Now, your 3K is three strikeouts. Your 4K is what?

[Chick McGee]

4K is better one better than 3K. I don't know if you know.

[Tom Griswold]

Is it an extra K?

[Chick McGee]

That's an extra K. Well, isn't that good to know? It's crazy. High definition. It's like you're there.

[Tom Griswold]

I think it's higher definition than in human eye can see in person.

[Chick McGee]

I think 4k is highest definition.

[Tom Griswold]

Ah.

[Chick McGee]

How about that.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, and then porque is, I think, something in Spanish, right?

[Chick McGee]

No, that's butter.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, okay. He would have thought we'd with that and lost our waste basket.

[Chick McGee]

We're a tie. We're. We're a team.

[Tom Griswold]

That was a request for a little Timmy Kavanaugh. And the song Equinox, that comes to us from Mr. Spicer.

[Chick McGee]

It was your decision to play it, though.

[Jeff Oskay]

It's right here.

[Tom Griswold]

Right here in my hand. What this is from. Let's see, from Sioux falls, South Dakota. Mr. Spicer, kind enough to.

[Chick McGee]

I need a picture of that. I need a watch and today's paper.

[Tom Griswold]

Mr. Oskar, would you please verify. That's my bad arm.

[Chick McGee]

I trust you.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, what does that say?

[Chick McGee]

What does it say?

[Jeff Oskay]

You reread the whole says, please play Equinox by Tim Kavanaugh, but it's dated March 20, 2005.

[Pat Godwin]

Is that true?

[Chick McGee]

No, I totally believe you. And not only that, but with those reading glasses on, you kind of look like second in command at the North Pole. I like it. I like it very much.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, like to work. Elves.

[Tom Griswold]

Santa. Santa's nephew. You might the badass.

[Chick McGee]

You're like the union steward for the elves. Yeah, you're, like, taller than all the elves. So they elected you their leader. Yeah, I liked it. Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that's good to know. Thank you very much.

[Chick McGee]

Far too much thinking about that. I'm sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, now today is officially the Equinox. So does that mean we're technically in spring now?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

1046.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, we got.

[Chick McGee]

We got over that.

[Tom Griswold]

March Madness up and running.

[Chick McGee]

And we need to bring Jess up to speed on a couple of things. We were talking yesterday about cities that have odors, and that's.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, for example, Battle Creek, Michigan. Cereal companies, people will wake up and they'll smell the cornflakes or whatever, and

[Chick McGee]

they know the difference between Cornflakes and Cheerios and all the different cereals that

[Jess Hooker]

makes this letter make sense.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, what does it say? Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

I grew up in a small town called Manawa, Wisconsin.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

They had a food processing plant downtown. They often made powder drink mixes, and you could smell and see what flavor they were making when the employees would come out for lunch.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Would your car be dusted with grape?

[Chick McGee]

I bet.

[Jess Hooker]

So imagine the whole town smelling like cherry drink mix. It was great. Your friend Harmony.

[Pat Godwin]

Harmony.

[Chick McGee]

Harmony and me go both ways.

[Ace Cosby]

Good company.

[Tom Griswold]

What is that?

[Chick McGee]

Harmony.

[Haywood Banks]

Gee, I really love you and I

[Chick McGee]

want to love you forever.

[Tom Griswold]

Artist, please.

[Chick McGee]

Elton John. Yellow Brick Road.

[Tom Griswold]

Where you been, Reginald? Dwight never Got the el. Sure. It's very good.

[Chick McGee]

Well, thanks for weighing in. Our beautiful duet.

[Tom Griswold]

We had harmony going.

[Jess Hooker]

That was amazing.

[Pat Godwin]

It was.

[Tom Griswold]

That was a spontaneous. That's the second thing. It looks like we wrote and couldn't find the wastebasket.

[Chick McGee]

See, you keep wanting to have these writers meetings. No, no, no, no, no.

[Pat Godwin]

Not with us here.

[Chick McGee]

No, sir.

[Tom Griswold]

That's right. So you got that.

[Chick McGee]

By the way, speaking of the show and people on it. Right. Did Josh quit? People are really.

[Tom Griswold]

Josh has a very serious. What's the word?

[Haywood Banks (Podcast Promo)]

What's the one?

[Chick McGee]

Sciatica.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no.

[Chick McGee]

He did mention it on the air one time, so I don't think he.

[Tom Griswold]

He has something called diverticulitis. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And he can't scuba dive.

[Tom Griswold]

No diving.

[Chick McGee]

And no muff diving either. You know what muff diving is, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, I'm aware of. Of course. You'd go down vulgar road. In this case, into vulgar lake to dive.

[Chick McGee]

Ahoy, muff diver.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, what would it sound like if Pat Goddard, if you were trapped inside a woman?

[Haywood Banks]

Like

[Tom Griswold]

your head is completely trapped in there.

[Chick McGee]

Well, first of all, we need to put Pat's music on that he likes.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, I do like this.

[Chick McGee]

Make it. Make it with you. With the lady.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, Isn't this strawberry letter 23 or something?

[Chick McGee]

Sure is. You know how many they went through before they got to 20? 2 is the answer. So then.

[Tom Griswold]

So your head is stuck inside a woman. What would it sound like for you to get out

[Chick McGee]

of here?

[Tom Griswold]

How does it smell in there?

[Chick McGee]

Pretty good.

[Jess Hooker]

I'm climbing here.

[Chick McGee]

You know, that's.

[Tom Griswold]

I think the joke you're looking for has the words of something about the door and a tuna boat.

[Chick McGee]

You know, that's a. That's a. That's a fetish. You know, I. Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

A, I don't. And B, I don't want to know this. Yeah, I got you right up the line. That's. Thank you very much. Now we're gonna. We're gonna move forward here, get some songs coming out of Mr. God. Yeah, we were asking about cities where there's a. This goes both ways. We don't need to hear about the. You know the guy that got a great deal on some property next to the sewage treatment plant.

[Chick McGee]

No. Well, you had. You mentioned cremation yesterday. It was down the street from the cremation plant.

[Jess Hooker]

What does that smell like? Burning hair.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, it sm. Probably like the best pork barbecue you've ever been to. I don't know.

[Jeff Oskay]

I. I have a letter from Becky. She lives by the. The Smithfield bacon.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, Smithfield barbecue. Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

And she says they make pre cooked bacon and she's like the first hour, it's awesome. By the end of the day a little too much.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

But man, I could, I could get behind some.

[Tom Griswold]

But yeah, that's kind of like the bacon fad a few years ago where suddenly everything was bacon flavor and we actually had. Remember the punchline to the bacon lube?

[Chick McGee]

I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

It was kosher bacon lube.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

So blessed by a rabbi.

[Tom Griswold]

Apparently. No actual pork products in the bacon lube. That's actually. That bacon lube is lying around here somewhere. It's probably in my desk over here.

[Chick McGee]

I bet. Yeah. Or you might have taken it home.

[Pat Godwin]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Maybe a little muff diving. Maybe that's what you were doing with that. Did you ever do that? So why am I doing Brian Regan? I don't know what I'm doing.

[Pat Godwin]

I like that.

[Chick McGee]

How about that? No. Who is that? Is that Kevin Nealon?

[Tom Griswold]

No, that was. That was Brian Reed.

[Chick McGee]

Kevin, the other one.

[Tom Griswold]

No. If you want to reach us we have. Our email is Bob and [e-mail] A couple points of order. Point of order if you will. We have a couple things coming up I wanted to underscore. We are. Oh, first of all, I wasn't kidding about the orange insoles thing. You can still win this 4K TV. Check out the details@bob and tom.com contest. Also, opening day brought to you by Lee's famous recipe chicken. Speaking of great smells, we're going to be doing our show from a place called Smoke Justice. It's in Covington which is just across the river. A beautiful spot right near the stadium in Cincinnati. And we've got opening days next Thursday.

[Chick McGee]

We've gotten a couple letters asking if Jess is going to be there. That's from lesbians in the area.

[Jess Hooker]

And is it lesbians or is it dirty old men?

[Chick McGee]

It's. It's because of what you did at last year.

[Tom Griswold]

There was an incident last year. There was a. An opening, a flirtation with one of the lady bartenders.

[Chick McGee]

I thought you were.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, you don't have to explain it to me, guys. I was there.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, see we have people listening, believe it or not.

[Tom Griswold]

Although they probably quit about three minutes ago during the Elton John hunk. It was a tribute.

[Chick McGee]

It was amazing.

[Tom Griswold]

In any event, hope you can join us. We do have posted right now on the all new Bob and Tom website. We have the pop up store up and we are donating the cash from the sales of some Special T shirts in honor of a little bit of baseball, a little bit of spring. We're honoring it. It's a fun shirt. And there's two different versions, Right. There's the baseball kind of shirt.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. And we'll have one of the versions at opening day, so.

[Tom Griswold]

But you can grab it online. They're really fun. And we're giving the money to a great charity. It's called Brave Gowns. And it's a couple of ladies that. So like superhero capes and stuff for kids that are in the hospital to give them a little bit something to cheer about. It's really a great, great idea. And of course, Cincinnati has one of the greatest hospitals in the world, Children's hospital that I can say definitively saved the life of a friend of mine's daughter. So great people there. And we're doing kind of a drop in the bucket fun thing. You know, give a couple kids stuck in the hospital a little bit of joy with some little superhero suits. So anyway, if you can be part of it, great. I think we even have a link. Is there. Is the link still posted? If people just want to make a donation to that charity on their own.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, great. Yeah. But if you want to buy the shirt, that's cool, too. Now, coming up, I believe Heywood Banks will be our guest today. He's stopping by on his way to the Crown Point Theater in Elizabethtown, Kentucky. We'll look forward to hearing something from Heywood. Perhaps one of the classics. That's what I requested. Also, we have a number of interesting things in the news, not the least of which is this almost sounds like something from Stranger Things. A bunch of school kids went out on the playground. On the playground?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

They were a little bit off. They found a. A seated skeleton had been buried in the sitting position, which is very weird. And it's part of there. Apparently there are several of these have been found. They're trying to figure out what it means. One possibility is they were buried alive. We're going to find out how cool that is. On a lighter note, we have a lipstick in the news and an amazing story about sideburns. Sideburns in history and the.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Griswold]

Amazing.

[Jeff Oskay]

I think of me, I've read the story. I think amazing.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe if your lady. Jeffrey, if your lady showed up doing what they're doing in this story, would you not be go. This is amazing.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, I would. I would laugh in their face.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You'll see why. Coming up. Right now, I want to talk about the aura frame there's one right behind Jeff. This is a great thing. I learned about these from this show in I think it was last November. And I immediately bought one by going to auraframes.com and what it is, it's a picture frame. It's about the size of a 8 by 10 piece of paper.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah, it's 8 by 10. That's about the size of it.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm just trying to let people visualize. And the point is, it's like a slideshow from the old days without that cool sound. And it just rotates photographs through there. You can load it up. Unlimited storage. You can also put videos in there.

[Chick McGee]

That's Christy from high school. I don't know if you know, that

[Tom Griswold]

is a beautiful picture of Christy. And there's a bunch of us. The point is, whenever we start talking about this, we start looking at it.

[Chick McGee]

What a bunch of drunks. Look at that.

[Tom Griswold]

And you can get one of these as a gift by going to auraauraframes.com the code word is Tom. The code word is helpful because it'll knock 35 bucks off the best selling carver matte frame. So Bob and Tom show listeners take note. By the way, this thing was voted number one by wirecutter, the experts on all things in the digital realm. And the cool thing about this is, for example, you loaded that picture, right, Jeff?

[Jess Hooker]

Of course I did.

[Tom Griswold]

I loaded that one. And the point is, the point is, once you give it to somebody, you can still keep loading pictures on. You can give lots of people the code. And we had a letter just on Monday from a lady who has three sons that live in different places. And they all, they load up pictures of what's going on with their families and their kids. So she wakes up in the morning in the kitchen and there's some.

[Chick McGee]

First thing she does is check her aura frame in the morning.

[Tom Griswold]

And the great thing Is, it is 8 by 10. So it's not like looking at your phone and going, well, that's the size of a postage stamp. Yeah, if I could still see, I'd

[Haywood Banks]

know who that was.

[Chick McGee]

Oh my God. Don't talk about the blind during aura frames.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm just saying these are great. I really recommend them. They're a lot of fun. I'm a big fan. You can be a fan too. Tell them about the time show sent you a u r aura frames dot com. We expect you all to get one and use the promo code Tom to save 35 bucks.

[Chick McGee]

Can we have a little meeting before the next photos are posted? Is that. Is that possible?

[Tom Griswold]

There's a good one to me and Willie.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, it's great.

[Chick McGee]

Very good.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, there's a look. Somebody from Saturday Night lives in that picture.

[Chick McGee]

Which one is it?

[Jeff Oskay]

Tommy Brennan?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, cool. Is that Peter Frampton? Yes. So we've got some nice. I think it would be fun for us to take that thing and post it on our website. Have all the rotating pictures and a little aura frame coming up. We also have reasons you don't want to climb over the fence at the zoo, which is.

[Chick McGee]

You wouldn't think we'd have to tell people about that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But again, it keeps happening. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Haywood Banks (Podcast Promo)]

Square Up, a new podcast from Andre Berto.

[Chick McGee]

What's going on, man? It's Andre Berto, two time world champ

[Haywood Banks (Podcast Promo)]

behind the scenes of life as a professional boxer.

[Tom Griswold]

People want to see more. They want to see who you are as a fighter. Like I said, the time is now.

[Chick McGee]

I really wanted to do that. Sit down from a fighter's perspective.

[Tom Griswold]

Find out what it really means to

[Haywood Banks (Podcast Promo)]

be a fighter inside and outside the ring.

[Tom Griswold]

This fight game is such a roller coaster. Square up, follow and listen on your favorite platform. Let's go.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Jess Hooker at the news center.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

Having coffee?

[Jess Hooker]

Little coffee?

[Chick McGee]

Cup of Joe?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

All right. Ask her how she takes her coffee, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Jess, how do you. How do you take your coffee?

[Jess Hooker]

Take my coffee? Black.

[Chick McGee]

Black, baby. All black.

[Jess Hooker]

Like my dream men, Kardashians.

[Chick McGee]

Perhaps you didn't catch the bulletin earlier in the week when Tom said he drove through the hood.

[Jess Hooker]

I did.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, you did hear that.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And.

[Jess Hooker]

And we collectively, I don't know if you're a part of this meeting, decided we weren't going to say that anymore.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, okay. Evidently. Well, maybe I was there. I just didn't pay attention. There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hello, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jeff Oskin.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And there's Ace Cosby. Oops. I'm Chick McGee. And hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Chick McGee. It's time to review some letters. We get. We get email, we're happy to get it. You can reach us, Bob and Tomobandt. And it's brought to you by Hyundai.

[Chick McGee]

Or should I say on Friday, Hanye?

[Tom Griswold]

I'd prefer if you didn't.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. Get into the Hyundai getaway sales event. Get away and get away with a deal. So right. It almost feels wrong. Visit Hyundai USA.com for all the deets, as the kids would say.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, we were talking about what does your town smell like? Yep. And we're trying to take a positive spin on.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

This comes to us from Sonia.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

That J A or Y A. N,

[Tom Griswold]

I, A, N, I. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

My husband works in a small town in Central Valley, California, named Danuba. That's where they make El Monterey burritos. You'll find them in the frozen section at almost every grocery store.

[Chick McGee]

Never heard of those.

[Tom Griswold]

When you drive up to the plant first thing in the morning, you smell refried beans. Are they frozen?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

[Jeff Oskay]

They're pretty good.

[Chick McGee]

Microwave. Microwave. You put them in the oven. Maybe you can do that.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, I, I, I'll microwave it a little bit, and then I put the cheese on it, and then I put it in the microwave to crisp.

[Jess Hooker]

That's exactly what you do.

[Chick McGee]

Nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, a little, Little plug for the. The city of Danuba.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I hope I'm pronouncing that right. Why?

[Chick McGee]

When you say it at all, it sounds offensive and I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, I, I'm trying to get anuba. I'm trying to give it the spin that I'm not sure how it's going pronounced, therefore I. If I get it wrong, I apologize.

[Jess Hooker]

Is there a wax that sounds like that? Because when you said that, I, I automatically thought of wax.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, there certainly is.

[Chick McGee]

Carnauba.

[Jess Hooker]

Carnuba. Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Carnauba smell.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that's different because turtle wax is made out of real turtles. Turtle shells. Yeah. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

And then I think we missed Pat's joke. Don't try it again. No, I thought it was very good.

[Chick McGee]

What was your joke, Pat? I don't know.

[Pat Godwin]

Carnauba.

[Tom Griswold]

It's got that new car smell.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, I left. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you like that new car smell?

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, you can get it.

[Tom Griswold]

What do you. How would you. I have an idea. What's her name? Who's the blonde woman that was married to the guy from that.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you know, the goop lady.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, Gwyneth Paltrow.

[Tom Griswold]

Gwyneth Paltrow. What if she came out with new car smell douchebags?

[Jess Hooker]

I don't know. How would you guys feel about her?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, I like the way a woman.

[Chick McGee]

The odors she puts out are of herself.

[Tom Griswold]

I think it'd be great, though. You get some guy that really is into cars. Hey, last night I went down on a Camaro.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay. Speaking of, I just learned about this yesterday. There is a new toenail polish, and it is. It's a protein toenail polish.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

And it has flavor. And I was like, why on earth would you have a flavor? And I was like, oh, my gosh.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Wake up. Welcome to the party.

[Jess Hooker]

Fetish guy.

[Tom Griswold]

Is it. Do they say what flavor is it?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, you get to choose the flavor.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I put back peanut butter or cherry.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Or I don't know if. Yes, something. And I believe them are fruity, obviously

[Chick McGee]

for the 50th straight year. Foot fetish is the number one fetish in America, I believe. Really? Oh, yeah. You don't care for that, huh? You don't like the foot.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't. I'm not a. I don't dislike feet. I like the fact that, you know, they can walk to the bed.

[Chick McGee]

I.

[Tom Griswold]

Once they get there, I have other. I have other places in the body I find a little more interesting.

[Chick McGee]

That's right. I'm gonna put a baby in you.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I.

[Chick McGee]

Here we go.

[Tom Griswold]

That's what you're into. Great. I hope you.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Thoroughly scrub them.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't want to get. You don't want to get athletes tongue.

[Jess Hooker]

No.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, I found it weird. Like the younger generation is aware of the foot fetish thing. And so like neither of my daughters will wear open toed anything out in public. They wear socks with sandals. Well, I'm not giving anyone a free

[Chick McGee]

show in that world. The foot fetish world. I believe the toe dangle is a thing. You have the sandals dangling off your foot.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

Some guys specifically.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

That's cute.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, I'm looking this up. A lot of these are for kids, huh?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, there's.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Toenail polish.

[Tom Griswold]

Heavily scented.

[Chick McGee]

You know what?

[Tom Griswold]

Polish.

[Chick McGee]

We wouldn't have known there for kids had you not said it.

[Jeff Oskay]

Easy. Moving on.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, there's also. Can I give you a lift to the island?

[Tom Griswold]

There's also. I know there's also edible Nils polish.

[Jess Hooker]

And that. Yeah, that's gross.

[Chick McGee]

There are edible panties too. Edible panties.

[Jess Hooker]

Gross.

[Pat Godwin]

Roll ups.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. It is Fruit roll up.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Haywood Banks]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, let's move on to our next letter, shall we? What have you got over there?

[Chick McGee]

Dear Baba Tom Show. Hello, jerks. And Christie. What the hell does that mean?

[Tom Griswold]

She's not even here. How dare you.

[Chick McGee]

When I was a kid, I lived in Colorado near the Wheat Ridge Jolly Rancher factory. On a wispy windy day, Derek writes, I could smell the aromatic fruity smells of all the flavors. It was delightful. Derek from Charleston, South Carolina.

[Tom Griswold]

Now this one's come somewhat problematic. It comes to us from Kevin from Jacksonville Florida. I live near the Maxwell House coffee roaster. To me, coffee roasting smells like vomit.

[Chick McGee]

No vomit.

[Ace Cosby]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

I. I had a delightful cup of Maxwell House just half an hour ago. I.

[Jess Hooker]

I think your smeller's off, bud.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, thank you very much.

[Chick McGee]

Some people love the smell of gasoline.

[Tom Griswold]

I do.

[Chick McGee]

I am not one of them.

[Jess Hooker]

I do. But if it's go, it has to be on the lake. Going into a boat like that.

[Chick McGee]

On the lake going into a boat.

[Jess Hooker]

Very specific. That smell, that feel first thing in the morning. You know what I'm talking about? I know.

[Tom Griswold]

You guys know I love that smell too.

[Jess Hooker]

Love it.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. On the lake.

[Tom Griswold]

No. Yes. Well, especially there. Getting into that, that. Get into a nice wooden Chris Craft. That great sound.

[Chick McGee]

It makes me sick, I'll tell you that.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, enough of that.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob, a top show. This is Scott from Lexington, Kentucky, the Commonwealth of Kentucky.

[Tom Griswold]

You try to give something a little spin, a little class.

[Chick McGee]

Our town, we have a smucker's plant that makes Jeff peanut butter. When they start roasting nuts, it's a smell like heaven on earth. I've lived here all my life and twice they somehow burnt the nuts, made the town smell like a paper baking factory. It. It smelled like a paper making factory made backdoor love to a pig farm.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Been listening since the last century. Love all of you. Don't ever change. That's Scott from Lexi.

[Tom Griswold]

I was on a canoe trip years ago and it was. We were downwind from a paper mill and that is rough.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, it stinks really bad.

[Chick McGee]

There's a city in Ohio, southern Ohio, Chillicothe, Ohio. Name I've been to that. It's fam. Famous for their stinky paper plant.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I drove through it to get to west, by God, Virginia.

[Jess Hooker]

If you live in a stinky town, do you just get used to it?

[Chick McGee]

You think that's one of the features of the olfactory lobes. They. They stop smelling after a while.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you remember the. We were. We did a live answer contest. I remember one day we used to do it all the time and we didn't have before. We had this delay circuit we have now and this lady won and we had her on the phone and I remember it was just. It was right before 10 o'. Clock, so we were just about to go off the air. You know, we had a pretty good day. This is a fun. Hey Bob, how's it going? And we did this contest and we had this lady on the phone and we're talking to her and all of a sudden we hear it was this really loud train. And I said, oh, wow, I can hear that train. You live right next to the train. She goes, oh, yeah, we live right next to the train tracks. And then I said, I just read an article that said that people who live next to train tracks, after a while they can't hear them. Then she, she said, boom. And I've never seen Bob move so fast. But it was too late. There was a whoops. So I'm. I don't know if that's true of the smell thing or not, but she said that the train still woke her up every time. So I don't know.

[Jess Hooker]

Did you guys have a smell in your town?

[Pat Godwin]

I lived in Delphis for a while and it was soybeans.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Soybean plant was across the street.

[Chick McGee]

Soybeans.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Not good.

[Jess Hooker]

We had a, we had a barrel factory across the street when I was a kid.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, sawing wood.

[Jess Hooker]

No, like making barrels. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Like seasoning the barrels and things.

[Jess Hooker]

Like the real metal barrels.

[Tom Griswold]

Like a burn metal barrel.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. 55 gallon.

[Jess Hooker]

Like a. Yeah, you know, the drum factory, you know I'm talking about, Right? Yeah. So it was over there and it's like that smell is, I think it's, it's like factory smell, whatever that is.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, and out where we grew up, like twice a year when they would fertilize the fields. Oh, let's close the window. Let's close the house up.

[Jess Hooker]

Well, you know that, that now they send an email home to schools, like to parents and say, hey, they're going to be fertilizing the field next to the, next to the school. Like, you know, if you don't want your kids to come to school that day or go outside.

[Tom Griswold]

It smells like Newark.

[Chick McGee]

Is that right?

[Tom Griswold]

Just kidding.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and Tom show. You guys are talking about ice cream and mini baseball helmets. You can still get those at most baseball games. For exotic foods. You can get an Asian inspired chicken with pineapple and noodles served in a hollowed out pineapple half at Canal park in Akron, Ohio, home of the Akron Rubber Ducks. That's right, Akron Rubber.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that's how I was just saying some of the stuff they're serving at these games is too messy.

[Jess Hooker]

It's a bit much.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't want to get spaghetti and meatballs in a full sized baseball helmet. And then after you get to take the helmet home.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Stow it under the seat for the next six innings.

[Chick McGee]

There are still many baseball parks, including Yankee Stadium that serve Nachos Inn, a An actual person sized batting helmet.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. That's why I like the hot dog. It's so elegant.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, well, you can have the hot dog wrapped in cotton candy. That they're awesome.

[Jess Hooker]

I had a ballpark hot dog yesterday.

[Chick McGee]

No kidding.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. At the ballpark.

[Chick McGee]

Nice.

[Jess Hooker]

Watching college basketball.

[Tom Griswold]

What'd you have on?

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Jess Hooker]

Onion and mustard.

[Pat Godwin]

That's perfect.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, that's the perfect hot dog I think for me.

[Tom Griswold]

But the point is, I don't think

[Chick McGee]

we've also eat that onions would keep me up.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, we have a weird twist on on Dijon mustard.

[Chick McGee]

Hang on, wait. What? What kind of mustard is that?

[Tom Griswold]

Dijon.

[Jeff Oskay]

There was no end the first time.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. You know what you are? You're a real pray when it comes to making pronunciation.

[Haywood Banks]

You're illiterate.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Ms. Hooker, we have all been

[Chick McGee]

discussed punched on a daily basis. How did that not happen?

[Jess Hooker]

We don't know what happens after he leaves.

[Chick McGee]

True.

[Tom Griswold]

I hang around with a more elite culture crowd.

[Chick McGee]

I'm glad you do, buddy.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Ms. Hooker, we've been talking about my desire to. And I think this is actually possible.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

When you walk up to your car. My car, you walk up to it. You're 30ft away and it unlocks the doors and walk up music.

[Chick McGee]

Much like major league baseball. And wouldn't it be cool an individual.

[Tom Griswold]

There was a way to have it play music.

[Chick McGee]

Actually, we do have Tom's walk up music. He's walking to his car.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

And this music will play.

[Tom Griswold]

This is not my walk up music.

[Chick McGee]

Hang on. And there is a big finish.

[Pat Godwin]

Watch this.

[Chick McGee]

There it comes. How about that?

[Haywood Banks]

He is up.

[Chick McGee]

There comes tomorrow.

[Tom Griswold]

Now that is not my walk up. We all kind of went through it and picked a walk up. Pat's gonna be Sledgehammer.

[Pat Godwin]

I love Sledgehammer.

[Jess Hooker]

That's good. That's good.

[Tom Griswold]

But it'd be fun.

[Chick McGee]

I stole Al Jackson's. Mine's gonna be strawberry letter 23.

[Tom Griswold]

You think so?

[Chick McGee]

I think so. I love this song.

[Jess Hooker]

That's great.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, it doesn't sound like anything. Anything else.

[Pat Godwin]

What would yours be, Jess?

[Chick McGee]

That's good.

[Pat Godwin]

I like that one.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. I like, I like that. I like. I believe in a thing called love.

[Chick McGee]

I believe, I believe.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I like that. But I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

The Darkness.

[Jess Hooker]

The Darkness. Thank you. But it would probably be Papa Roach.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, okay.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. What song cut my life into pieces?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, Scar.

[Jess Hooker]

Last Resort. Last Resort is the name of the stars. Last Resort is a good song.

[Tom Griswold]

Got a nice letter here. This is adding to the Discussion of walk up songs. By the way, he begins the letter by saying, hello there. So I already like this guy. My wake up song is from the British hit makers Freddie and the Dreamers.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, really? Now, I'm not sure if you're familiar with. I don't think he really has walk up music. I think he just wants to hear Freddy and the Dreamers and kissing your ass because we know you like that song. Come on.

[Tom Griswold]

So you walk up to the car and it's.

[Chick McGee]

You didn't have to turn it up.

[Tom Griswold]

This was actually a.

[Chick McGee]

And what a confrontational vocal.

[Tom Griswold]

And the Freddy was a dance. It was kind of like doing jumping jacks, but you stayed on one leg and then.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I think. Yeah, it was familiar.

[Tom Griswold]

Kind of a fun part of the British Invasion. But the letter will justify this. It continues the true story. When I was a teenager, my father tried to demonstrate the Freddy dance to us in the kitchen. He lost his balance and fell backward into the wall, creating a huge crater, the exact shape of his butt. After the wall was patched up, we still referred to the spot in the kitchen as the butthole. Okay, thank you very much. That's from Richie.

[Jess Hooker]

Why does that hit the ear hard?

[Pat Godwin]

It did.

[Chick McGee]

Because it's an. It's a no, no word.

[Jess Hooker]

Is it a no, no word? Are we not supposed to say that?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't think we should in this case. It's not referencing the anus.

[Jess Hooker]

That's true.

[Tom Griswold]

It's referencing a hole in the drywall. No, I'm clarifying why it's okay to say it.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

I don't think you should clarify. Naughty words.

[Tom Griswold]

I see. By the way, when you're using Commission Chick. When you're using the lint roller.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Would you please hold it up to your face like you're on stage doing a stand up thing?

[Chick McGee]

So anyway, what's the deal? What is the deal with air cats, huh? And now here's your feature. It's Pat Godwin. Pat, how are you, buddy?

[Pat Godwin]

I'm doing fine, except for Chick McGee.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. Not a headliner. Features. Yeah. Subtle dig there.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Okay, now I want to talk to you about orange insoles. And they, of course, have sponsored the bracketology segment of our program.

[Chick McGee]

Do you walk? Do you work? Do you stand longer than 10 minutes without making this noise when you sit down? If you said yes to any of those, you could benefit from orange insoles. Feet get tired. It's a fact of life. Arches collapse, heels ache, knees complain. Your neck, your back, your back and your neck, they tighten up and most people say, I'm just getting old. Rarely do they identify the true culprit. Their feet. Orange insoles deliver rigid arch support that does not collapse by lunchtime. Tom illustrated this yesterday by actually terrifyingly taking his shoe off yesterday and showing us his orange insole that he wears in his.

[Tom Griswold]

I would do it again, but it's hard to lace these up without my tools.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, he has got some over there.

[Chick McGee]

He has an actual.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, there's one.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, he has an actual tool that he uses to lace his shoes because he likes a nice tight lace. Yeah. And he told me this morning they're

[Tom Griswold]

tight like the ladies.

[Chick McGee]

They're a half size small. Is that it? And who is this guy? I don't know. You like the ladies, sir.

[Tom Griswold]

Lock them tight.

[Chick McGee]

Ah, like him. They help maintain alignment.

[Tom Griswold]

Orangeinsoles.com currently known as Chavez style.

[Chick McGee]

Do away with leg fatigue. Stress on knees, hips, and your lower back. Less oof at the end of the day. Durable enough for work boots, strong enough for Tom shoes. If you've ever said my feet are killing me, orange insoles is for you. Think about it. You upgraded your truck tires, upgraded your mattress. How about upgrading what you stand on all day? We've got a deal for you. Go to orangeinsouls.com order more and save with Orange and Souls bundle packs. And be sure to use the promo code Bob and Tom at checkout to receive $5 off your total order plus free shipping. Orangeinsouls.com promo code B O B A N D to M. Please put down Bob and [e-mail]. show us some love.

[Tom Griswold]

Lace themuptight.com that's where you find me.

[Chick McGee]

Don't, don't go to lace them uptight dot com. Go to originsouls.com thank you, everyone.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm, I'm gonna play Jess's walk up music. Okay, we'll get to that when we come back.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Is this it?

[Jess Hooker]

No, I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

Scars by Papa Roach oh.

[Jess Hooker]

Mine's last resort.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, sorry.

[Chick McGee]

How about this?

[Tom Griswold]

That's the one.

[Jess Hooker]

You two.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, stop.

[Tom Griswold]

This is the one. This is your walk up.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, it's okay. I was gonna say.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, my God, that was close.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, my heart.

[Tom Griswold]

He almost said. He almost said the butt word. I, I, I blame you, Jason. When we come back.

[Chick McGee]

Of course, he had nothing to do with it. Don't blame yourself.

[Tom Griswold]

We have some great stuff coming up in the news, including these really creepy buried bodies.

[Chick McGee]

I wonder how that does sound. Does it have a curse word? In it.

[Tom Griswold]

What are you doing?

[Jess Hooker]

It's fine.

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry. Okay. When we come back, we will have more of your letters. We certainly appreciate them. We have hippos in the news, a bizarre wedding story. And screen time. And sex. How do they relate? From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Haywood Banks (Podcast Promo)]

Want to share a letter or comment? Our email is bobandtomobandtom.com

[Tom Griswold]

this episode is brought to you by Athletic Brewing Company.

[Chick McGee]

No matter how you do game day on the couch, in the crowd or

[Tom Griswold]

manning the snack table, Athletic Brewing fits

[Chick McGee]

right in with a full lineup of non alcoholic beer styles. You can enjoy bold flavors all game long. No hangovers, no buzz, no subbing out

[Tom Griswold]

for water in the second half.

[Chick McGee]

Stock the fridge for tip off with

[Tom Griswold]

a variety of non alcoholic craft styles. Available at your local grocery store or

[Chick McGee]

online at athleticbrewing.com near Beer Fit for all times.

[Tom Griswold]

Cool.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. the news center, it's Jess Hooker.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Ace Cosby]

Hey.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jeff Oskay.

[Haywood Banks (Podcast Promo)]

Yes, sir.

[Chick McGee]

Are those little pink flamingos on your shirt? Yeah. That's very cool. There's Ace Cosby. Hello. I'm Chick McGee and. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Those are cool. They're subtle. Little, tiny little flamingo.

[Jess Hooker]

It's a man's shirt. Unlike Chick. Sweater.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. I'm getting grief in the hallway. Evidently.

[Jess Hooker]

Stand up. You're. That looks. No, no, no, no, no. You have to see the cinched sweater.

[Chick McGee]

Doesn't.

[Jess Hooker]

I think that's a woman sweater. I have it in pink.

[Chick McGee]

Smart wool, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Smart wool. It's very nice.

[Pat Godwin]

It is nice.

[Chick McGee]

Todd Snider. Thank you, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Todd Snyder. Not the great musicians.

[Chick McGee]

Tom likes it.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, we have a bizarre sideburn news.

[Ace Cosby]

You.

[Chick McGee]

Full disclosure, you love sideburns.

[Tom Griswold]

You.

[Chick McGee]

You grow your sideburns like crazy. You're criticized for your sideburns at home. Is that correct?

[Tom Griswold]

That might have been an issue.

[Chick McGee]

Huh?

[Jeff Oskay]

Sideburns are longer than usual.

[Jess Hooker]

They look great.

[Chick McGee]

He lets them go. He's very excited.

[Haywood Banks]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Elvis. I think perhaps some of the most famous sideburns. There are famous sideburns in rock and roll, certainly. Like the pointy ones. You know, they're two guy. The guy in no.

[Chick McGee]

Neil Young sideburns.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, huge.

[Chick McGee]

Those are. Those are the best ones. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But we Have a bizarre story about side. Do you know the origin of the name Sideburns, Ms. Hooker?

[Jess Hooker]

I don't. I'm assuming it's someone's last name.

[Tom Griswold]

Kind of.

[Chick McGee]

Kind of, sort of.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It was a General Burnside. Oh, okay, this sounds like I'm making it up at him. It's. It's true.

[Chick McGee]

It was a civil war.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. He had what we'd now call large side burns, and somehow that got flipped around and that's where they came from. The reason I mentioned it is before there was a General Burnside, there was a huge fashion movement way back in time with sideburns. That has a bizarre twist. We'll get to that coming up. But right now, Pat, I have a request for your song called Deny. Just kind of. Kind of a sing along. I'm not sure this needs much of much background information.

[Pat Godwin]

We have a story coming up about weekend lovers, secret love.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, interesting. I. I found that story disturbing, so we'll get to that later. But do you want to explain what this is about?

[Pat Godwin]

Let's sing it. If you want to be a cheater, go out of state to meet her. Don't make a tryst a Facebook friend. Don't film your lovemaking or text your picture taking. No voicemails, think before you send. Clear your history. Control, alt, delete. Use the hotel's computer on the slime and if you get asked, just stand there aghast and deny, deny, deny. Everybody can sing now.

[Chick McGee]

Deny, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny.

[Pat Godwin]

If a picture's incriminating, it's you two clearly dating. Just tell your wife it's photoshopped. If someone saw your banger, blame it on a doppelganger that wasn't me there in the park. If you get caught red handed kissing someone else, just say it was mouth to mouth. She would die. If you're at the hospital and your mistress shows up. Deny, deny, deny,

[Chick McGee]

deny, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny.

[Pat Godwin]

Scan the car for airtags. They could be in your gym bag. Check your shirts for long blonde hairs.

[Chick McGee]

Long blonde hair.

[Pat Godwin]

Don't send an email. Never leave a paper trail. Make sure she takes her underwear.

[Chick McGee]

You forgot this.

[Pat Godwin]

Don't go to any place that has a jumbo screen. She has proof. Blame it on AI if you have your other family showing up and they're knocking on your door. Deny, deny.

[Chick McGee]

Here we go.

[Tom Griswold]

You're gonna need a lawyer, son. Thank you very much. Patty G. The Deny song. Pat's Dry Bar Special, tentatively scheduled to come out in the year 2026.

[Pat Godwin]

They had the laughter. It takes time to find.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, when did you record that again?

[Pat Godwin]

Geez, this month. Last year.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. A year ago. Yeah. Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Looking forward to seeing Dear Bob and top show. This is from Dave. Dave Logan. I think he was wide receiver for the Browns at one point. Probably a different Dave Logan. Good morning, legends. I don't like to bother you guys at work, but we all know how much you all, Tom and Chick, love dogs. Pacifically, golden retrievers. So I wanted to show off our new puppy.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Chick McGee]

95 golden retriever. 5% Australian Shepherd. The little guy, he's so sweet.

[Tom Griswold]

Look at the size of those paws. Someone's gonna be very large soon.

[Chick McGee]

Whoa. Hope that my letter makes the show for my first time.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you know what that dog is saying?

[Chick McGee]

Can't guarantee this.

[Tom Griswold]

I think I'm gonna pee any second now.

[Chick McGee]

No, the dog is saying, oh, this is great. This is great.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm having such a good day. I'd like a cheeseburger, please. No lettuce, no tomato. Okay. Thank you.

[Chick McGee]

Been listening since last century, the mid-90s. From Bowling Green, Kentucky.

[Tom Griswold]

All right. Well, thank you very much, Dave.

[Pat Godwin]

Listen lives.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much, Dave. Coming up, we have Dick Van Dyke in the news.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, more letters.

[Tom Griswold]

A cool Dick Van Dyke story.

[Chick McGee]

It's not Dyke Van Dyck.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's Dick Van Dyke.

[Chick McGee]

I heard that. I thought that was the funniest thing I'd ever heard.

[Tom Griswold]

What is it?

[Chick McGee]

Dyke Van Dyck. Holy hell.

[Tom Griswold]

We have. Is your skeleton sitting down? We'll find out about that. And the latest from the influencers in the world of exercise. Oh, boy, you're an influencer.

[Chick McGee]

Can you tell? Tom hates influencers.

[Tom Griswold]

We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Haywood Banks (Podcast Promo)]

More of the show is on the way. You can find us on X obandtom or you can email us at bob and tomobandtom.com Spring starts at the Home

[Tom Griswold]

Depot and we are bringing the heat

[Pat Godwin]

to your backyard this season. Fire up the flavor with our wide

[Tom Griswold]

variety of grills for under $300. Like the next grill 4 burner gas grill that's perfect for hosting your spring cooking. Then set the scene and turn your outdoor space into the go to spot

[Pat Godwin]

the patio sets for every budget.

[Tom Griswold]

Bring it this season with grills that

[Pat Godwin]

deliver flavor and patios that set the vibe from the Home Depot.

[Tom Griswold]

Start your spring with low prices guaranteed at the Home Depot exclusion supply. See homedepot.com pricematch for details.

[Chick McGee]

Go. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast. From the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. the News center, it's Jess Hooker.

[Jess Hooker]

Here I am.

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jeff Oskay.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's right.

[Chick McGee]

Josh Arnold is under the weather. He has not quit yet. That we know of.

[Jeff Oskay]

I think he's fishing.

[Chick McGee]

He's a what?

[Jeff Oskay]

I think he's fishing.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that might be it.

[Tom Griswold]

He can't defend himself. We miss you, Josh. We'll see you again soon.

[Jess Hooker]

You're so nice to him when he's not here.

[Tom Griswold]

I know because it takes all my fun away. I've already thought of three great jokes I can't do about him, so I'm gonna have to do them about God when they don't really fit as much you.

[Chick McGee]

Did you tell Josh that? What? You tell all of us that if they're sick or under the take the whole month, it's fine. Go ahead. Did you tell him that?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I said take the week off. Gotta heal up.

[Chick McGee]

It's hurtful, you know.

[Tom Griswold]

Really? That's trying to be nice to him and not feeling well.

[Chick McGee]

I'm gonna take next week off. Is that all right?

[Tom Griswold]

Why don't you start now?

[Jess Hooker]

If we look at the schedule, you're due.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, we have the. We have, we have. The chick McGee's been here for 17 days. Big chart. Like in the Factory.

[Chick McGee]

You know what? I. I will. You will play. Hell seeing me miss a day now, by God, how about that? I doubt it. Well, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna right after I get off. I'm texting you as soon as I leave the building, okay?

[Tom Griswold]

Is your lint roller on? I can't hear you. Okay, let's.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob at Top show, sorry to bother you at work. I'm worried about Josh. He quit. We already covered that. That's Nathan from Joplin, Missouri, and. Hi, guys. My name's Regina from Tennessee. I love you so much. You helped me through insomnia. I'm from Cleveland, Tennessee. Eminem. Mars puts out the most delicious smells every day here. Also, my walk up song is no more Mr. Nice Guy by Alice Cooper. Also, I love Tiptoe through the Tulips for Tom. Oh, I'm sorry. Sweet Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, thank you.

[Chick McGee]

Keep up.

[Tom Griswold]

It's not my walk up music.

[Jess Hooker]

What is yours?

[Tom Griswold]

The intro to Sweet Jane from the Lou Reed Live Album.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, yeah. Now I remember.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

What do you mean, dory sign?

[Jess Hooker]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

It's great.

[Pat Godwin]

Take some half hour to walk to the car.

[Tom Griswold]

Apparently that gives me time to find my car. You know how many people are shopping at Target on a Saturday morning and

[Chick McGee]

remember which car you're in? And on and on and on.

[Pat Godwin]

It's a long intro.

[Tom Griswold]

Too many people have those cars just like mine.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, they do.

[Tom Griswold]

Or at least similar.

[Jess Hooker]

A lot. Like they're white on your side of town, too. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Haywood Banks]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

I got in the wrong car just last week.

[Chick McGee]

Do you take.

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't get in. I opened the door and realized it wasn't my car. No, I could tell because I don't have a shifter.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, okay.

[Chick McGee]

I thought you got into a car and sat in the driver's seat and realized you didn't smoke because the car smells.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that was. That was. I was visiting my mom in Cleveland. That was years ago. I had a. I had a rental car that gives me. And it was snowing and it was cold.

[Chick McGee]

Was in your eyes.

[Tom Griswold]

But I got in the car and realized, wait a minute, I don't smoke this car.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, that stale smell.

[Tom Griswold]

And it was. It was pitch black and it was in the hood. So I'm glad we lucky I squeeze

[Jess Hooker]

that in there again.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and Top show. This is your annual email from Paul. The Roger Bacon High School underwater hockey team competing this weekend in Canada at Guelph, Ontario, Canada. I've attached a press release detailing the tournament. I will send email updates tomorrow night after the conclusion of the tournament. Thank you very much, Paul, for keeping us up to date.

[Tom Griswold]

Underwater hockey.

[Chick McGee]

Underwater hockey. He does send us an email each and every year.

[Tom Griswold]

That's got to be hard.

[Chick McGee]

I try to read it.

[Jess Hooker]

I think it would be.

[Tom Griswold]

Do they. Is the total consistent depth.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know how it works. Maybe it gets deeper.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, if it's. If it's a typical pool, you know, you get the. Do you flip the coin to see who gets the deep end for the first half?

[Jess Hooker]

Well, doesn't a lap pool. Isn't it the same?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I think it is.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it's in a lap pool.

[Chick McGee]

He's muddying the water. You're muddying the. You're muddying the pool.

[Tom Griswold]

Ask a fair question. I think in Canada, all pools have

[Chick McGee]

to have their Bob and Tom show. While driving in Dodge City, Kansas this morning. This is from yesterday, listening to the Bob and Tom Show. I pulled up to a stoplight. I was right behind a car with the vanity plate, P, A, T, T, Y, capital G. Well, what?

[Tom Griswold]

Patty G. He's P, A, D, D, Y, Patty G.

[Chick McGee]

That doesn't make any sense. It seemed like a car that Pat might drive, too.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, he doesn't.

[Pat Godwin]

They don't say the car.

[Chick McGee]

He doesn't elaborate.

[Tom Griswold]

Missing three hubcaps, late on payments.

[Chick McGee]

You were missing the hubcaps there for a while.

[Pat Godwin]

No, I was missing the back end of it for a while. I had the wrong kind of insurance.

[Chick McGee]

The whole back end? No, you.

[Tom Griswold]

And I had to go buy you a hubcap.

[Pat Godwin]

There was a hubcap incident. You're. Absolutely.

[Tom Griswold]

And I found a place that has. It was the coolest store. I thought they had. I mean, you've ever been to this place? They have, like, 500 hubcaps.

[Jeff Oskay]

I need to. Yesterday, I walked outside and I went and got my daughter. And I go, hey, what happened to your hubcap? And she goes, what's a hubcap? Brought her outside. And I go, see how the one wheel is all black and the other one has silver? And she goes, yeah, I don't know. And I go, well, you must have hit something. She goes, I promised. I didn't.

[Tom Griswold]

That or one of her friends needed an ashtray for the old.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Those days are kind of gone.

[Chick McGee]

The decorative ashtray.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'm looking for a hubcap for a 03 Toyota Corolla.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

They'll have it at this place.

[Jeff Oskay]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

You might want to take a bodyguard, but they'll have it.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'll be fine.

[Chick McGee]

Is it in the. You.

[Tom Griswold]

You fit right in.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Is it in the hood, Tom?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Am I right, Pat?

[Pat Godwin]

I'm not participating.

[Tom Griswold]

I bought the hubcap for you. I'd like a little bit of credit.

[Chick McGee]

Anyway, this is Lane from Dodge City, Kansas. I seriously thought. Oh, my goodness. I was very excited. Pat Godwin's in front of me at this light, but he drove past it and. Pat, it wasn't you.

[Pat Godwin]

It was not me.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You haven't been to Kansas in a while.

[Pat Godwin]

Not a while.

[Chick McGee]

Maybe they sign a petition to get you in Kansas. How will that be?

[Pat Godwin]

They got some crazy little women there.

[Chick McGee]

And, Lord, I want to also Leavenworth. Is there really?

[Tom Griswold]

You know what else is there? Manhattan.

[Chick McGee]

Manhattan, Kansas.

[Tom Griswold]

I got a letter from Andy. Garbage man in Manhattan, Kansas.

[Chick McGee]

No kidding.

[Tom Griswold]

You got a request we're going to come back with.

[Chick McGee]

With. Is that right? Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Why not do that? We'll do that for Andy. What do you got coming up in sports?

[Chick McGee]

What do we have? First day of the NCAA men's basketball tournament. It's in full swing. And According to numbers, 27 million brackets at the ESPN website, 10,000 remain perfect, including our buddy, Hannah Storm has a perfect, has a perfect bracket, which is interesting. A couple upsets yesterday, in case you missed it. Wisconsin beaten by High Point by 1.83. 82. TCU upset Ohio State, Texas upset BYU. And on and on and on.

[Tom Griswold]

One of the cool things about this tournament is you, you learn about colleges you've never heard of. High Points. A gorgeous place, Beautiful, beautiful college, beautiful

[Chick McGee]

part of the country.

[Tom Griswold]

And yeah, then there's, there are a couple colleges in for the first time. Remember when you were a kid, that's how you hear about Notre Dame and usc, all these great athletic programs. You'd suddenly find out about them and, oh, wow, I didn't know about that college. You look into it. It's a cool spot. Our letter is brought to you by Hyundai. Our Hyundai girl is Christy Lee. We call her our car girl.

[Chick McGee]

She's out there driving somewhere right now.

[Tom Griswold]

Christy has had more cars than any of us. I can remember even early on, she always had a new car every year. I'm not sure how she pulled that off. Never really gave it much thought. How much money is she making? She currently has a Hyundai. She's had it for two years. She loves it. She was telling us about. It's even got a snow mode climate control. You press the button and it snows inside like you're in a, like you're in one of those glass balls at Christmas time. Oh, wait a minute.

[Chick McGee]

Snow globe.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but that's, that's how I tom, things have names. That's not how it works. It. But if you hit that button, it's, it's all set for the driving conditions for snow, among many other great qualities. Hyundai's doing something cool right now. They're calling it their getaway sales event. Getaway because you can get away with a great deal from Hyundai. Check out your local dealer, of course, and get information by visiting HyundaiUSA.com and by the way, she has the hybrid. We've talked a lot about the Palisade hybrid and it's a great mileage and great range. More than 600 miles. Get the details once again by visiting Hyundai USA.com this includes, by the way, the special sale on the stylish Elantra or the all electric Ionic 5 or Ionic 9. There's of course the Tucson. That's what Christie drives, the Santa Fe and the Santa Fe hybrid. Find out how all that stuff works, especially in the world of gas mileage these days, you might want to look into a hybrid. Visit HyundaiUSA.com Tell them the Bob and Tom show sent you. Coming up, wedding rings. In the news, we have a fascinating story about sideburns and Dick Van Dyke news. And a special request coming up from Manhattan, Kansas to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. And this is the Bob and Tom Show. Marvel Television's Wonder man, an eight episode series now streaming on Disney. A superhero remake. Not exactly what we'd expect from an Oscar winning director. Action.

[Chick McGee]

Simon Williams audition for Wonder Man.

[Haywood Banks]

I'm gonna need you to sign this.

[Tom Griswold]

Assuming you don't have superpowers. I never work again. If anyone found out, my lips are sealed. Marvel Television's Wonder man, all eight episodes now streaming only on Disney plus.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Jess Hooker at the news desk.

[Jess Hooker]

You all right over there?

[Chick McGee]

Yes, sir. Ma'. Am. There's Pat Godwin. Hello. Hello. Jeff Oskin. Hello, sir.

[Jeff Oskay]

How are you?

[Chick McGee]

We get each other.

[Jeff Oskay]

I get.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, there's Ace cosby. I'm Chick McGee and I'[e-mail] sports desk. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Chick McGee. You're talking about hubcaps for some reason. Yeah. And your daughter didn't know what a hubcap was, you were saying, Jeffrey?

[Jeff Oskay]

And she already lost one. Didn't even know what it was.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And back in the day, there, there always was that hubcap. Did you have the hubcap ash at your house, Jake? Didn't. Didn't you.

[Chick McGee]

Didn't.

[Tom Griswold]

Didn't you famously get in trouble for.

[Chick McGee]

Oddly enough, no. My mother had about a three foot tall ashtray.

[Haywood Banks]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, right, right.

[Chick McGee]

So it would. She sat on the couch and it would be right here with the little

[Jeff Oskay]

handle to move it.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And I was watching tv, laying in the floor and I. I don't know, maybe I was laying in the floor. So I'm thinking five, six, seven. That's how old I was along in there. And I kicked it with my foot. Oh. And knocked her ashtray over and. Oh, that was an exquisite beating, let me tell you.

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah. Well, just me and Chevy Chase.

[Tom Griswold]

There was the classic ashtray made out of a hubcap.

[Jess Hooker]

But I don't. I'm not familiar with this.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah. Really?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it was kind of a hillbilly redneck thing.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. You think I'd know?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's what I was fishing for. Yeah. But yeah. Pat, this is like three cars ago. I remember it was one morning. I. I forget why. We just. At least Pat needed to have another hubcap.

[Pat Godwin]

Great place, but they're.

[Jess Hooker]

They're for visual, right? They're aesthetic. It's not necessary.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, it's very necessary.

[Pat Godwin]

You don't be driving around without a hub.

[Chick McGee]

It'll throw your whole car out of balance.

[Pat Godwin]

Date a woman, I believe.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I think that was the issue. I think Pat was trying to date

[Chick McGee]

a woman looking for love and a missing hubcap.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't want to pull up. And I believe it's also a probable cause to get pulled over if, you know, the police recognize. Okay, this guy's either probably carrying meth, selling it, or snorting it. But Pat, in those days, I think this would be your walk up song. You walk up to your car and you're praying that.

[Pat Godwin]

No kidding.

[Tom Griswold]

Praying that it starts.

[Chick McGee]

You know, speaking of cars, start me up.

[Tom Griswold]

Ladies and gentlemen, the Rolling Stones. Oh, I'm sorry. Yes.

[Jess Hooker]

That's a good one.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow, that's a great.

[Chick McGee]

You missed so good by a mile, you know?

[Tom Griswold]

What do you mean I missed it? The.

[Chick McGee]

Where they start singing.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no, I deliberately stopped because I. You were. You were about to weigh in with some important thing. I think you take.

[Chick McGee]

You were taking Pat to go get a hubcap. You noticed that he needed a hubcap. Yeah. You know, Ace still doesn't have a passenger side rear window in his.

[Pat Godwin]

It's got to be two years.

[Jess Hooker]

Do you have all your hubcaps?

[Chick McGee]

Maybe you should. I don't even know if I have. I don't think I have hub. Nobody has on either car.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, no, I don't think they make them with hubcaps anymore, do they?

[Chick McGee]

Hubcaps are a thing of the past, Tom. But you should take Ace to get his window fix.

[Tom Griswold]

I think I've offered.

[Jess Hooker]

He doesn't want to. Ace likes. Ace likes his plastic window.

[Tom Griswold]

Have you changed the dry cleaning plastic lately? Did you change it to the spring plastic?

[Jeff Oskay]

Holes in it so it gets breathed.

[Chick McGee]

I always thought that was the epitome of making it. You had a dry cleaner come pick up your dry cleaning man, and there's a dry cleaner around here, does it for free. And I.

[Jess Hooker]

We have it. We used to have a dry cleaner come here and pick it up.

[Chick McGee]

No kidding.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, in the lobby. Everybody would. All the salespeople when we had salespeople would leave their.

[Chick McGee]

When we had employees.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they would leave it now.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, you're done with us.

[Tom Griswold]

Got a request. No, I promised a request.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. NCAA men's basketball tournament. We'll talk about that. Just be patient. I know, I know, but Tom has this important announcement.

[Tom Griswold]

It's from Andy in Manhattan, Kansas.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, Andy. I've been waiting for him to email us.

[Chick McGee]

Take a time, Andy.

[Tom Griswold]

Friday is supposed to be celebrated because it's the last day of the work week.

[Chick McGee]

Let's give Andy a nickname.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm a garbage man. I started my day at 2 o' clock this morning. I have to do two routes today and deliver new trash cans to new customers. He wants to hear something. This is apparently quite difficult.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

And he's kind of ornery and he thought this might. This might cheer him up. So here you go. It's a little bit of Paul Thorne.

[Ace Cosby]

Have you ever had one of those days when nothing goes right? Your wife stops bitching bout whatever it was she was bitching about last night, so you escape into the bathroom just to sit there on your throne. But after you finish your business, the toilet paper's gone. Well, it's a great day for me to whoop somebody's ass. It's a bad day so you better get off my back. You might get cold cocked if you cross my path. Cause it it's a great day for me to whoop somebody's ass. Well I was running late for work so I poured me some coffee to go. And just before I had a flat tie I spilled it all over my clothes. When the highway patrolman pulled up I thought that help was on the way. But when he saw the tire tool in my hand he shot me with pepper spray. Well it's a great day for me to whoop somebody's ass. It's a bad day so you better get off my back. You might get cold cocked if you cross my path. Cause it's a great day. Y' all can sing it if you want to. For me to whoop somebody's ass. When I finally made it to work I was 15 minutes late. I told my boss about the flat tire, but he fired me anyway. So here I am out in the parking lot just waiting by his calling. I'm gonna give him a goodbye present that he never will forget. Let's sign it together. Cause it's a great day for me to whoop somebody's ass. It's a bad day so you better get off my back. You might get cold cocks if you cross my path. Cause it's a great day for me to whoop somebody's ass.

[Tom Griswold]

Mr. Paul Thorne, live in our studios. And Paul has some great Records. Records out there. Some. He's got a couple serious songs that bring tears to my Eyes and I'm not kidding. But a terrific band. Great guy. Interesting guy. One of the few musicians that was also a boxer and boxed. Roberto Duran.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Live to Tell the tale. Great guy. I highly recommend his music. And thank you, Andy, who's currently delivering garbage cans in Manhattan, Kansas. And he's got a double shift today, so good luck out there today. TGIF time now to check in with that very handsome man I was talking about. Ace, It's a Chick McGee at the sports desk. What's happening? That's not just any sports desk. That's the orangeinsouls.com sports desk.

[Chick McGee]

Men's college basketball tournament continues. Duke, Michigan, Houston, Michigan State, Gonzaga, Illinois, Arkansas, Nebraska, Vanderbilt.

[Pat Godwin]

All aboard.

[Chick McGee]

Texas A and M, Louisville, TCU, St. Louis and Texas all win. Couple of upsets. High point B, Wisconsin and VCU dispatches North Carolina by 4, 82, 78.

[Tom Griswold]

And you and I were both watching the Ohio State.

[Chick McGee]

And we were watching the Ohio State game where they. TCU came on at the end, bless their hearts.

[Tom Griswold]

Came out at the beginning.

[Chick McGee]

And no. Anyway, when Miami. And at the other night at the UD Arena. Miami, they were.

[Tom Griswold]

Ud.

[Chick McGee]

You know how

[Tom Griswold]

the audience.

[Chick McGee]

How when the opposing team is shooting free throws, they try to get behind the backboard and distract the free throw shooter.

[Tom Griswold]

This is the funniest that you sent me.

[Chick McGee]

This.

[Tom Griswold]

This is amazing.

[Chick McGee]

Miami, of course, the UD arena is practically a home game for Miami.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

So they. Well, it'd be better to show you the video. Some Miami. Miami team members showed up and. To distract the free throw shooter. And by gosh, it worked. Oh. And they went bananas. That's right. It's the swim team.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. They're not wearing any shirts.

[Chick McGee]

They're wearing their swim caps and their Speedos. And there's like 30 of them.

[Tom Griswold]

One guy's got his face painted it and he's screaming, oh, yeah, all red.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, he's all red.

[Jess Hooker]

I'm surprised. They put the student section right behind the basket.

[Chick McGee]

Asking for trouble. Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you think that's poor sportsmanship?

[Jess Hooker]

No, I think that's fun. College kids.

[Chick McGee]

I think it's. Yeah, absolutely. You expect it. Okay. College basketball. All right. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

They're having fun. They're blowing it up.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. If there's an issue, the AD will come down there and address the students and either change or leave is usually what. Well, that's what happens in high school games.

[Chick McGee]

Is that right? Did you have to go to the AD's office.

[Jess Hooker]

I got in trouble a lot at games. Yeah?

[Chick McGee]

What did you do?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Apparently they frown on that open container in the gym.

[Jess Hooker]

Well, it was closed.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, okay. And that brings us to the shoe into the week. Today's shoe into the week, I believe. Three in one yesterday and brought to you by orangeinsouls.com use the promo code Bob and Tom. B O, B, A, N, D, T, O, M to spell it out. And you use that at checkout to receive $5 off your total order and free shipping in the United States of America. That's orangensouls.com I like Miami +12 against Tennessee. That's right. The same Miami team. I like UConn minus the 20 against Furman. I like Florida. Hold on to yourselves. Florida minus 35 against Prairie View.

[Jess Hooker]

What?

[Chick McGee]

That's right. And I like Kentucky minus the two against Santa Clara.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

There you go. Somebody write those down.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Thank you very much, Chick McGee. Is that sports?

[Chick McGee]

Very, very close, Tom. I don't want to get your hopes up. Here we go. Is this. Is this for real? The world record?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. We may even have. Do we have video? Oh, we couldn't find the video. Sorry.

[Chick McGee]

A makeup artist from Uganda, and she's lovely, by the way, has broken the Guinness world Record for the most lipstick applications in one minute.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, before you jump to conclusions, this isn't just. I thought, well, how many times can you put lipstick on yourself? But then I real. It's different people. She's doing.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

She's applying it. She's applying it to other people, I believe.

[Chick McGee]

I. I sent you a world record about jumping rope or something. You chose not to use that one.

[Tom Griswold]

I was saving that one for Cincinnati, where we'll have a big crowd to cheer.

[Chick McGee]

Well, thank you, Tom. I appreciate that. The makeup artist from Uganda, her name is Zaina Kenyi.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you go with Uganda or Uganda?

[Chick McGee]

I believe it's Uganda. It's Uganda, not Uganda.

[Tom Griswold]

Uganda, like the great former leader of the un U Thant al Zuk. Are you. Do you remember. Do you remember.

[Chick McGee]

Is that down the road you got. Gesundheit. Zaire, Uganda.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you remember Uthant, Ms. Hooker?

[Jess Hooker]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

That was his first name. The letter U.

[Jess Hooker]

That's it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And he says.

[Tom Griswold]

And then he was. He became a billionaire. He moved to America and started U Haul, the famous, famous company.

[Chick McGee]

God help me, but I love that joke each and every time. Zaina Kajenyi surpassed the previous record of eight in one minute by applying lipstick on nine models.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Admittedly, if you.

[Chick McGee]

If you.

[Tom Griswold]

If you can see the video, sure. Four of them look like they're circus clowns, right?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, so it doesn't count. Accuracy. Yeah, well, I could break that record if you just slapping.

[Tom Griswold]

And the last one was a goth chick. She just used a black Sharpie. How do you feel about the black lipstick chick? Oscar? What do you think?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, I like it.

[Tom Griswold]

You do?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You like the goth girls?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You like the dirty hippie chicks?

[Jeff Oskay]

I like goth girls. I like roller derby girls, burlesque, padded out girls.

[Chick McGee]

Tom likes the dirty hippie.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you like the dirty hippie chicks?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

No, not at all.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, you do. It's okay. You're among friends. You like the dirty hippie chicks. And the rope belts.

[Jeff Oskay]

I know a lot of girls who own the rocks. They called them crystals.

[Tom Griswold]

You date those girls?

[Chick McGee]

I have.

[Jeff Oskay]

I've married.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a minute. You married a crystal chick?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. How'd that go?

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, we're divorced. That tells you.

[Chick McGee]

Didn't you have any.

[Tom Griswold]

She didn't see it. She didn't see it in the crystals that this wasn't gonna work out. I.

[Jeff Oskay]

She bought. She paid money for him.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Like at a store?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, there's a couple of stores around town.

[Chick McGee]

Do you know who's a big crystal person is?

[Jess Hooker]

No, no, I was. I grew out of it.

[Chick McGee]

Jeff Bodart.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, I thought you're talking about me.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that doesn't surprise me. It doesn't surprise me. There's a.

[Jess Hooker]

No, he puts.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a Venn. There's a Venn diagram of intelligence and crystal buyers.

[Chick McGee]

He puts. He puts it on the end of his wand.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

After he makes a wand, he puts

[Chick McGee]

it at the end of the. Oh, that wand.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay, well, I don't know what he does with his wand.

[Jeff Oskay]

Wand.

[Chick McGee]

Wand. You want to think about Jeff Bodart's wand, Tom?

[Tom Griswold]

Not at all.

[Chick McGee]

I hope this gets back to him.

[Tom Griswold]

Imagine a speed bag at a boxing ring.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, God.

[Chick McGee]

So you're criticizing his scrotum or you're saying he. He goes at himself like a speed bag?

[Tom Griswold]

Spends a lot of time on those ships by himself.

[Jeff Oskay]

I heard it's like a monster energy can. I heard it.

[Jess Hooker]

Is that true?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Oh, hey now.

[Jess Hooker]

Got some guards.

[Jeff Oskay]

Like a baby arm.

[Tom Griswold]

Since you have. Since you fell for the crystal thing.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Am I correct? Are you the one that fell for the lipstick matching the areola thing?

[Jess Hooker]

I tried it. I did it.

[Chick McGee]

I found.

[Jess Hooker]

I matched my areola and found a lipstick.

[Tom Griswold]

And by the way, the color, not the Size.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

That's what we're talking about.

[Chick McGee]

And why did they decide on that size? Lipsticks are pretty much universal as far as size goes, aren't they?

[Tom Griswold]

I think so, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

No, you mean lipstick tubes.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, I have a tiny lipstick like this in my purse right now, and then I have a big one, and then I have.

[Tom Griswold]

Have.

[Chick McGee]

No kidding.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I have lots of different ones. Yeah, I did it. I did the color thing, and it was fine. It's. It's a flesh tone. It goes, obviously, with my skin, and it was fine. Yeah, it wasn't anything.

[Tom Griswold]

But isn't it supposed to be some kind of magnet for men?

[Jess Hooker]

No, I. I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

I believe that's not what it was.

[Jess Hooker]

It was supposed to attract men. That type of.

[Chick McGee]

I don't think that's the body part you want to match for lipstick.

[Jess Hooker]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

No, that's. Look it up.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe. Maybe psychological, maybe combined with a line.

[Chick McGee]

Fine.

[Tom Griswold]

Like, hey, by the way, I just want you to know that.

[Chick McGee]

Ignore.

[Tom Griswold]

You're on your first date and. Oh, sometime in conversation. Yeah, by the way. Yes. Hey, by the way, Jerry, the. This lipstick I'm wearing matches my Ariola cover.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I guess you could. I don't know. If a girl said that to you, what would you guys do?

[Chick McGee]

What are you saying? Areola cover. What the hell is.

[Tom Griswold]

I meant color.

[Chick McGee]

Sorry, I've never run into a cover.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, that'd be a pasty. No, I'm sorry. You know what I'm saying?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Color. In other words, that would be a opening line.

[Jess Hooker]

You definitely.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Then the guys. The guys thinking this. I'm not even gonna have to buy dinner. This chick's gonna hit it off in the parking lot.

[Jess Hooker]

Putting it out there.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, thank you very much. So that's our world record for today. Would you like me to dig up the other one? Would that make you happy?

[Chick McGee]

I'm fine. But, yeah, that would make me happy. I worked real hard on that. I worked real hard on finding that. Me and my lady sweater worked really hard.

[Tom Griswold]

I'll dig it up in a few minutes. Can we squeeze in the Dick Van Dyke story? This really made me happy.

[Chick McGee]

I. I wish.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I'll do it.

[Chick McGee]

Absolutely. Like, tried to just try to stop her from doing it.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, you want me to do it right now?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, we'll do. Why don't we come back.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, let's come back with.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm a big fan. We've actually spoken to Mr. Van Dyke, and by the way, he celebrated his 100th birthday.

[Chick McGee]

That obituary is ready to go.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but he's in great shape.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

It's on a shelf somewhere.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you.

[Jeff Oskay]

Are you the one in good shape?

[Pat Godwin]

30 years.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you the one that sent me the video of the lady in China escaping from her. There's a video out there. She's in her 90s and she's escaping from an old folks home.

[Chick McGee]

Oh yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

She's shimmying up and climbing over the wall.

[Chick McGee]

She climbs like a lemur. It's unbelievable. She's 90 years old and she should

[Jess Hooker]

be able to live alone.

[Chick McGee]

She's getting out of there.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

If you could climb as eight foot fence, you can live by yourself.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's. That should be every Tuesday. They should have a thing. Okay, line up. You climb over the fence. We're setting you free and giving you back your car keys.

[Jess Hooker]

You don't have to come back.

[Chick McGee]

And you, you get your, all your Social Security checks.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. And when we come back, we'll have to. We'll have to educate Ms. Hooker on more of sort of like a hillbilly I, I. Hillbilly interior decorating.

[Jess Hooker]

I would love it.

[Chick McGee]

Hubcaps is a.

[Tom Griswold]

The hubcap ashtray. The, the coffee table made out of a spool you stole from AT&T.

[Chick McGee]

Wire spool.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh yeah.

[Chick McGee]

The, the actual, the, the beads, but not beads. It's a curtain with about halfway down. They have dingle balls on the end. You've seen those?

[Jess Hooker]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Like a room divider.

[Jeff Oskay]

You can't forget the stereo setup with cinder blocks and boards.

[Tom Griswold]

A peaches box full of albums. That's still.

[Chick McGee]

Well, an actual milk school milk crate with albums in it.

[Tom Griswold]

I did have the beads.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And my. When I was growing up, I never slept in my room. Of course my sister moved out pretty early, so I slept in her room.

[Chick McGee]

And you used your.

[Tom Griswold]

My room was an office.

[Chick McGee]

An office.

[Tom Griswold]

There was no bed in there, but.

[Jess Hooker]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but it had like a little hallway going into it.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So I had a regular door, but then I had the beads. Yeah, you'd walk in and there'd be my posters of the Jefferson Airplane, the Doors and the Beatles and.

[Jess Hooker]

That's cool. Yeah, I like that. No, I mean for, for that little weirdo in his office when he was 11. Yeah, that was the coolest thing he was doing.

[Tom Griswold]

Made my own desk. I'm sorry? I made my own desk.

[Chick McGee]

Did you make an appointment? Well, you can't come into my room.

[Tom Griswold]

It's kind of. It was kind of a Danish modern thing. Hooked up. Very nice.

[Jeff Oskay]

Did you have a briefcase?

[Tom Griswold]

No. I wasn't nerdy at all. I was cool.

[Chick McGee]

Son of a. I bet you were my Schwinn Tornado. You and your paper route.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. You had to have a place to, you know.

[Pat Godwin]

Where'd you get the long hair? College or high school?

[Tom Griswold]

College. I went to a school. You couldn't grow your hair. Oh, or a coat and tie was very serious. Yeah. Yeah. And it was interesting because half the class were flaming a holes. College, maybe three quarters. We're coming right back to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Haywood Banks (Podcast Promo)]

Got a comment to share? Text us at 888-262-8661. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Tired of partisan noise? America's more divided than ever. But independent Americans is adding light to contrast all that heat. Independent Americans. Daily News with Army veteran Paul Rykoff. Pressing issues of the day with leaders who are shaping what America will be in the future. We're going to bring the righteous media five eyes. Independence, integrity, information, inspiration and impact. Join the movement. Independent Americans from Believe, follow and listen

[Jess Hooker]

on your favorite platform.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. In the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, there's Jess Hooker in a cardigan sweater.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Tom was explaining why he doesn't own sweaters.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't like.

[Chick McGee]

He don't like. He doesn't like sweaters. Like, love them. I can't get enough sweaters. There's Pat Godwin. Hello. See, now Pat's wearing something I would never wear.

[Pat Godwin]

Tommy Bahama, $900 short.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, short sleeve shirt. No, no.

[Pat Godwin]

Shows off the guns.

[Tom Griswold]

There's. They look more like derringers.

[Chick McGee]

Jeff. Okay. There's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick mcgee. Hello, Tom. How are you doing?

[Tom Griswold]

Just fine.

[Chick McGee]

Good.

[Tom Griswold]

A couple quick things. We are doing a special edition of this show next Thursday. We'll be at a place called Smoke Justice. It's a beautiful spot, Covington, Kentucky, right across the river. In honor of the Major League Baseball official opening day with the Cincinnati Reds. And we're happy to be there. Brought to you by Lee's famous recipe, chicken.

[Chick McGee]

Yummy.

[Tom Griswold]

Very excited. And we have a couple things already going up and running right now. We have a special commemorative T shirt for the event and it's available on our [e-mail] and we're secret on the

[Chick McGee]

way on the T shirt.

[Tom Griswold]

There is a secret on the T shirt. It's kind of fun, but it's a cool looking Shirt. And we're giving the money to a great charity. It's a little charity.

[Haywood Banks]

They.

[Tom Griswold]

They make little superhero outfits for kids in the hospital.

[Chick McGee]

I say it was a better secret when you had the home plate on there instead of the baseball.

[Jess Hooker]

Well, that's information that would have been helpful before we went to print.

[Chick McGee]

Well, he asked me and I said I. I. The home plate.

[Tom Griswold]

I voted, and I was outvoted by everybody else.

[Jess Hooker]

I didn't get a vote.

[Tom Griswold]

I can't believe we could do another run.

[Chick McGee]

I can't believe that you.

[Tom Griswold]

We could do another run.

[Chick McGee]

You wanted the home plate and didn't put it on there. I think you're telling me that.

[Jess Hooker]

You know what, we could change it and put both of them on there and see what people like the best by how many are bought.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, there we go.

[Tom Griswold]

The larger point here is it's. We're selling these shirts and giving the money away. It's an. It's a small charity. They like a wonderful. It's called Brave Gowns. And it just, you know, if. If you've ever had a kid in the hospital, maybe giving him a Superman cape would make him feel better, whatever it might be. And that particular, the Cincinnati hospital, a friend of mine's daughter, they quite literally saved her life. So it's a great place. And bravo to everybody in Brava. That works there. We certainly appreciate it. Now, I want to read this story because I'm a huge fan of Dick Van Dyke. I. I would argue that the original Dick Van Dyke show is one of the greatest sitcoms of all time.

[Jess Hooker]

I just watched a documentary of Dick Van Dyke on pbs. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Does he talk about how he was forced to use that terrible Cockney accent?

[Chick McGee]

And I don't think he thought it was terrible when he was doing it.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a little over the top.

[Chick McGee]

I don't think he in remembers anything about Mary Poppins.

[Jess Hooker]

The thing.

[Chick McGee]

He was so drunk.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. I didn't know that that was. That was news to me.

[Chick McGee]

He's in a movie called the Comic. I think Carl Reiner directed it and it's really a good movie.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Now I believe.

[Tom Griswold]

But we have a new story about Dick.

[Chick McGee]

Doesn't that sound like she's just been to the bathroom?

[Jess Hooker]

Suzanne Plechette, Dick Van Dyke, the legendary actor and comedian who starred in classics such as Mary Poppins and Chitty Chitty Bang bang.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, you

[Jess Hooker]

100. On December 13th, he turned 100 years old. Yes. The beloved actor credits his remarkable longevity to his positive outlook and never getting angry.

[Chick McGee]

Chick I don't believe that for a second. Tom. Who else gets angry unreasonably? Jeff. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't that cool?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I think that's great.

[Chick McGee]

I think every now and then you got to get angry. It helps right out.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

While longevity, of course, comes down to many factors, including genetics and lifestyle, there is some truth to Van Dyke's claims. Numerous studies have shown that keeping stress levels low and maintaining a positive optimistic outlook are correlated with longevity.

[Chick McGee]

I hate surveys like that.

[Jess Hooker]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

And I'm. And Mel Cooley, who was always angry on the Dick Van Dyke Show. Mel Cooley dropped dead in what, like 84?

[Chick McGee]

Well, Richard Deacon, the man who played Mel Cooley, great actor, weighed north of five bills. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember Richard Deacon?

[Chick McGee]

He was.

[Jess Hooker]

I, I just. Because of this documentary.

[Chick McGee]

I'm familiar with 500, 550. They.

[Tom Griswold]

They used to call that hairdo the, the full Mel Cool.

[Chick McGee]

He never called the balding Tom called it that.

[Jess Hooker]

Well, I only know that from here.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's common knowledge. He was really good. He was also. I forget, Lumpy Rutherford's dad on Leave it to Beaver.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, wow.

[Chick McGee]

And he was old then.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But Dick Van Dyke show, if you've never seen it, check it out. It's great. Yeah. So happy, happy belated birthday to Dick Van Dyke, 100 years old.

[Chick McGee]

How do you feel about Dyke Van Dyck? Do you remember that joke?

[Tom Griswold]

I never really got it.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Didn't really make sense.

[Jess Hooker]

I mean, that's brave. But that's your name, and you just, you just stick with it.

[Chick McGee]

Van Dyke. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And that's the. That's just the goatee. Right. Or is the goatee a goatee in a Van Dykes?

[Tom Griswold]

Let's see.

[Chick McGee]

A goatee, I believe is just on the chin.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. It's from the.

[Tom Griswold]

Technically. But most people refer to a goatee, which is technically a Van Dyke, which has the mustache.

[Chick McGee]

Mustache and goatee. Is a Van Dyke.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. Yeah. And that. It transports you. If you have one. It transports you back to 2004.

[Jess Hooker]

You had one of the best ones I've ever seen. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

He really did it.

[Jess Hooker]

Did you?

[Chick McGee]

Really did.

[Tom Griswold]

You'll never see it.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know.

[Jess Hooker]

No. They say that is the new mullet.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Is the goatee. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Back when we all had goatees.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Not a great look.

[Chick McGee]

It's a magical, magical time.

[Tom Griswold]

But this is a perfect way to segue into my favorite story of the day about sideburns. This is. I. I stumbled on this. God knows what I was doing, and

[Chick McGee]

I'M looking up sideburns, probably.

[Tom Griswold]

I ran into this article about 19th century England and the will you have. Do you have it over there?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. The sideburn facial hairstyle was once so popular that the 19th century British men and women took to wearing fake whiskers to get in on the craze.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, you heard her say, and women.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you imagine that?

[Jeff Oskay]

Fake whiskers was this article. Did you find it when you were leafing through your monthly magazine? Bald Guys Monthly.

[Jess Hooker]

Places you can enjoy hair that aren't on your head.

[Chick McGee]

That's right. So you're bald. Well, you can grow your sideburns out. People love that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's the problem with that magazine. It's the same four guys rotating on the COVID Mr. Clean, Kojak. We got Yule Brenner. We get it. Michael Jordan every once in a while, you know, Isn't this interesting? That. Would you have. There's a little more to the article.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Dr. Alan Withey of the University of Exeter said whiskers quickly became an essential accoutrement.

[Tom Griswold]

Accoutrement.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Like Dijon. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

To any young man with social pretensions.

[Chick McGee]

Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

So you had to have whiskers. But the fact that women were glowing him on is astonishing.

[Jess Hooker]

By 1812, the trend was apparently in full flower. When is. What. What is this from? What. Who says that?

[Pat Godwin]

No one.

[Tom Griswold]

This is from. This is from the University of Exeter.

[Chick McGee]

He must have written the full flower.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Not only did various lotions crop up purporting to help men grow and care for their facial hair, but false whiskers were even sold, some of which were attached to wigs via the system of springs.

[Chick McGee]

Springs? What, on your face?

[Jess Hooker]

I guess.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, that's. That's really interesting. And I think the. I wonder if this is done just to distract from the bo. Because bathing people didn't bathe much. You'd be lucky to get in the tub on a Saturday in England in 1820.

[Jess Hooker]

Your brain, man.

[Tom Griswold]

No, that's the thing. No, they don't show that on Bridgerton. Or as I call it, the Way we weren't. Oh, look. That's unusual. Awfully diverse cast.

[Chick McGee]

Wait a minute. That's your beef with Bridgerton?

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, the terrible dialog.

[Chick McGee]

Stupid stories.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's stupid.

[Jess Hooker]

Like Tom said, women also got in on the trend, with some ladies training their hair to fall down the sides of their faces and imitate whiskers, while others drew in whiskers on their cheeks using pencils.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

We all have different ideas. Of what was attractive. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

But when I was in middle school, I had. I had a, like, peach fuzz. Very dark peach fuzz on the sides of my face.

[Chick McGee]

Well, she is Italian.

[Jess Hooker]

I was really embarrassed by it, and I shaved it. I shaved the side of my face, but I shaved up and kept going. And it went past my ear. Oh, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

So then you look like Garth Brooks.

[Jess Hooker]

So then the kids made fun of me because I shaved my hair.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. Well, a fun little fact.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Mr. Oscar, you could grow the most awesome sideburns of anybody in this room.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You could just shave off the bottom of the beard. You could make Neil Young blush. They'd be so cool.

[Jeff Oskay]

Maybe I should do the goatee with sideburns.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, I'm doing it for Monday.

[Jess Hooker]

So if that's it, then you just take the razor and shave right here. Yeah. Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Everything but your chin. Shave your chin and leave everything else. Okay. There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

When's the last time you were completely.

[Jeff Oskay]

Whenever you guys gave me that makeover,

[Chick McGee]

like, a month ago, I think.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, that's right.

[Jeff Oskay]

Last year. Last December or December.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

How'd you. Did your lady friend like it?

[Jeff Oskay]

No, really, she likes me covered up.

[Tom Griswold]

That means she doesn't want to see you.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, I get it. I've seen what's under here. There's a reason I have the beard. I know what I'm working with.

[Chick McGee]

That's incredibly hurtful.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, thank you, Jeffrey.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, holy hell.

[Tom Griswold]

We're gonna come right back. We have some cool stuff coming up, including a visit with Han Heywood Banks. We have a bizarre wedding ring story. And does your screen time use affect your intimate relations in the sack? We'll find out when we return to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Haywood Banks (Podcast Promo)]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Few minutes.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Jess Hooker's at the news desk.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin. Hey, Chick. Jeff Oskay.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Ace Cosby.

[Jeff Oskay]

Howdy.

[Chick McGee]

I'm Chick magee@the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. And, Tom, we have a special guest.

[Tom Griswold]

Comedy legend Haywood Banks has joined us in the studio. Heywood, it's always a pleasure to see you.

[Haywood Banks]

Good morning.

[Haywood Banks (Podcast Promo)]

Good morning.

[Tom Griswold]

Now Haywood's on the road. You're gonna be at the Crown Point Theater in Elizabethtown, Kentucky. Lisville. That's coming up this evening.

[Chick McGee]

No one calls it that this evening.

[Tom Griswold]

They don't call it Lisville.

[Chick McGee]

I don't think so. Although I like the sound of that. Lizville, where are you? Lizville?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Most cities have a nickname.

[Chick McGee]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, did you say Chi Town or Chi Town?

[Chick McGee]

Chi Town.

[Tom Griswold]

Chi Town. Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Shy, I believe.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, really?

[Chick McGee]

Every now and then.

[Tom Griswold]

And then tomorrow, Haywood's gonna be at the Gary Burbank Memorial, Newport, Kentucky. Saturday evening. That'll be great. And then Sunday, you're going to be doing a daytime show with the famous Funny Bone in Cincinnati. And I would be remiss if I didn't mention once again, this show will be coming to you live from Greater Cincinnati, will technically be on the other side of the river. Coming up next Thursday morning, celebrating Major League Baseball and the opening day with a special event from Smoke Justice Restaurant in Covington, brought to you by Lee's famous recipe Chicken. Hope to see you there, there. And we do have a pretty cool T shirt out there in honor of that event. And once again, I guess we're going to do a special printing now of the other one.

[Jess Hooker]

I think we could.

[Tom Griswold]

The alternate shirt.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know. Why not?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's posted. It's posted on our various social.

[Chick McGee]

It'd be like the director's cut when they put out a movie on. Yeah. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Is anyone. Everyone else hearing that?

[Chick McGee]

Sorry. Nope. I'm not hearing anything.

[Jess Hooker]

Talking. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. I'm sorry. Was that a ringing I was hearing?

[Chick McGee]

She's got it out for me this morning.

[Tom Griswold]

Get it out for her.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

I have a special request.

[Chick McGee]

You might want to. History.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Haywood Banks]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Because we have some fishermen in the room. I don't know if you knew that.

[Chick McGee]

Is that right?

[Tom Griswold]

We have. We have Jeffrey Oscar. He's an avid fisherman. As his. Pat Godwin. And I thought you have one of the fishing. Can you give me a little guitar sound? See how we're doing over there? We got enough guitar over there. Can you hear that?

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

He's sitting next to me, so I don't know if it's in my headphones or. He's right there.

[Tom Griswold]

I can't tell. Can you hear?

[Chick McGee]

I can't tell.

[Pat Godwin]

A little louder, baby.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

And there's no way to turn it up.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Very good.

[Haywood Banks]

Very good.

[Tom Griswold]

That sounds good.

[Chick McGee]

No way. It's broken.

[Tom Griswold]

You have a tribute to fishing. I understand.

[Haywood Banks]

Yeah. Yeah. I gotta say that if my voice is a little deeper today, I just got a colonoscopy and I think it might be more resonant.

[Tom Griswold]

They cleaned you out when I, When

[Haywood Banks]

I, I kept getting emails from the people doing the colonoscopy saying, we're looking forward to seeing you. I mean, I can see your birthday or Christmas. I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm saying Christie's husband got his colonoscopy yesterday.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. It must be the season.

[Haywood Banks]

The season.

[Jess Hooker]

How would we ever know that?

[Chick McGee]

That.

[Tom Griswold]

Because we were talking about there's a thing that goes on during men's college basketball in the tournament.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

In which certain. I guess it's urologists.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Or what they.

[Chick McGee]

I think they run. They run a special neurologist. Know they. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a vasectomy special. And the notion is because after one gets a vasectomy, you had one chick. You're supposed to sit around with frozen corn on your.

[Jess Hooker]

On your. With a Masters too.

[Chick McGee]

And one side, you pay for one, you get the other side free.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not sure how the, the nature of the.

[Haywood Banks]

How about the frozen corn, though?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. The idea being that if you want to sit around all day, at least it's fun because you can watch basketball games all day. My gym yesterday, they had all the games up simultaneously at a TV that divides into quadrants. Does yours do that?

[Chick McGee]

My. My TV? Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You can divide it into four TVs at the same time.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Do they all do that now?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I know you have to. To wait until your TV warms up, but.

[Tom Griswold]

No, we solved that problem.

[Chick McGee]

I don't believe you. I still. That guy has something going on at your house, set booby traps for you, and that's why.

[Tom Griswold]

But yeah. So if you had a colonoscopy, how'd you do? By the way, do you have any photos for us?

[Haywood Banks]

They'll be in the Christmas letter.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, good.

[Haywood Banks]

They gave you this. They gave me this jug of stuff, like a gallon of stuff. It's called Go Lightly, which is ironically

this the name of.

I believe that was the name of the. Of Audrey Hepburn.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Haywood Banks]

River Breakfast Tiffany. The song was Moon River. I think is. Goes with it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Haywood Banks]

They said, they said, oh, did you

get the prescription for that? Yeah, yeah, I said, oh. I said, why? Because it. If it's out of date, does it go bad? Says, well, it could give you diarrhea.

[Tom Griswold]

Ah, by the way, you must be going to an old fashioned doctor.

[Haywood Banks]

Old fashioned? Yeah, because they use the.

[Tom Griswold]

They don't do that anymore. They give you a glass the size of a cup of coffee.

[Chick McGee]

Right. Very little.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know what it is, but it must be the higher octane, because immediate it works great.

[Haywood Banks]

They had jugs of this left over, so they want to get rid of sale.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, no, the new way. Whatever that stuff is. I remember my doctor, she goes, it'll be in about 30 minutes, 29 minutes and 50 seconds.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

The launch codes were tripped. And let me tell you what I know how they discovered rocketry. That Godard guy probably just had a colonoscopy. Goddard, I like to call him Godard. Like Jean Luke. Sounds more pretentious. Let's hear our song. Okay.

[Haywood Banks]

Another load. Came in another load.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, hey.

[Haywood Banks]

I'm sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

Sorry.

[Haywood Banks]

That's in my head.

Fishing worms Fishing worms Everybody's wishing they had fish and worms Find them in the backyard underneath a rock Slip them in your sandwich Put them in your socks Fishing worms Do your English homework Underline a word circle, direct object and transit with a fish and worm Fishing worm well, my big sister she don't care for my fishing worms Big ones, little ones they scare her to death she'd make a chocolate shake I dropped a couple in the blender now she's looking at me with bated breath Ooh. From eating fish and wants worms Fishing worms Everybody's wishing they had fishing worms Find them in the backyard under some

leaves make them little dresses Just leave

off the sleeves Fishing worms Fish worms Fish worms

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much. The genius. Okay. Heywood on his way to the Crown Point Theater, Elizabethtown, Kentucky this evening. The Gary Bermake Memorial coming up in Newport, Kentucky on Saturday and Sunday afternoon at the famous Funny Bone in Cincinnati for a nice, friendly show. Now, a couple other things coming up. We have Ms. Hooker sitting in for Christy Lee today. Yeah, I hope she didn't take the day off so she could take care of her husband post colonoscopy.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, you never know.

[Tom Griswold]

I hear he had to exit the wheelchair. They took a lot out of him.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, okay.

[Chick McGee]

Is that right?

[Tom Griswold]

No, that's a lie. I'm kidding. Now, we also have coming up some exciting things in the news, including a bizarre story about a series of skeletons found in the seated position.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

At a card game or something.

[Jess Hooker]

No. A place you wouldn't want a seated skeleton. A children's playground.

[Tom Griswold]

And they.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my Lord.

[Tom Griswold]

It's weird. Just bizarre. And they think that they people may have been buried alive, but in the city in the sitting position.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

I wonder why that would that be worse?

[Jess Hooker]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

At least you want to lie down.

[Chick McGee]

Aren't some of the pompeii Aren't they, like, crouching with their hands up to their face.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that's because that happened mighty quick.

[Chick McGee]

Well, this might have happened awful quick.

[Tom Griswold]

It could be.

[Chick McGee]

That's all I had for you. I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

You're trying right now.

[Chick McGee]

Really, really trying.

[Tom Griswold]

Was you a nice shop today? I'm trying right now. I want to talk to you about going to the mailbox. Never been a fan.

[Chick McGee]

Right in front of my house.

[Jess Hooker]

I love the mail.

[Chick McGee]

Do you know that the mailbox is right in front of my. Is it? You're in front of your house?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I'm not a fan.

[Chick McGee]

I bet you have a mailbox that. Oh, that's right. He doesn't get mail at his house.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't get mail in my house.

[Chick McGee]

That's a thing. The.

[Tom Griswold]

The larger point here is.

[Chick McGee]

No, the larger point is you're insane. Is what the larger.

[Tom Griswold]

In the neighbor who stands get the mailbox, rifles through his mail and I guess not paying attention that cars are coming right at him. But opening the mail lately for some folks, you find that you've got a gigantic credit card bill and maybe you can't pay it. So you've been letting it ride and you're paying 20% interest on that credit card debt. Well, not good. Now, perhaps if you own your home, you can take advantage of something happening right now in the marketplace. You've probably heard about it. Housing prices going way up. Your house is probably worth a lot more than it was just a few years ago. You can take advantage of that equity and pay off those credit cards. The folks at American Financing have run some numbers. They'll be happy to run some for you if this fits your life. Right now. Check out american financing.net and they sent me some numbers. Their average savings right now, about 800 bucks a month. When they do a refi and they take advantage of the equity, what they do is they take advantage of that and then they pay off the credit card debt, and it's a whole new ballgame for you. So this might be just what you need. Find out if it works for you. Like I said, right now they're saying their average savings is about 800 bucks a month. They've also got a program that might delay two mortgage payments for you so you can get your head above water again. Perhaps find out once again by visiting americanfinancing.net, tell them the Bob and Tom show sent you. You can even call them just for information. 866-88926 11. That's american financing.net nmls182334 nmlsconsumeraccess.org apr for rates in the 5 start at 6.196%. For well qualified borrowers.

[Haywood Banks]

Call 866-889-2611.

[Tom Griswold]

For details about credit costs and terms, visit american financing.net bobandtom

[Chick McGee]

hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Jess Hooker.

[Jess Hooker]

I'm chilling.

[Chick McGee]

She's at the news Center. There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jeff. Oh, Chick. Hello, tub. How's it over there?

[Tom Griswold]

We've got a special guest calling it the News Center. When we just done a strong story about sideburns in the 1820s, maybe.

[Chick McGee]

Where did that story come from, Tom?

[Tom Griswold]

I just thought it was fascinating. Sideburns that went well. That women used to put on fake sideburns.

[Chick McGee]

Boy, you have definite ideas about the. No, but I mean, difference between the sexes.

[Tom Griswold]

No, but I did at some point. That was attractive.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Have you, I mean, have you come across a woman out in the wild who has a full mustache, like grooms in it?

[Chick McGee]

No, no, that doesn't exist. Yes, it does.

[Jeff Oskay]

I saw a woman.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, it does. Full beard. Yes, it does.

[Chick McGee]

No kidding.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, I remember that going to the state fair and they used, they used to have the freak show,

[Chick McGee]

the bearded lady.

[Tom Griswold]

They had the bearded lady. And then. Yeah, for the most part, a lot of the freak show stuff was like horrific skin diseases and it was lobster man. It was really awful. But yikes. Yeah, that can happen. But I'm just saying at one point in society, that was in English society. Anyway, that was an attraction, attractive thing.

[Haywood Banks]

Now it's called Walmart.

[Chick McGee]

Well, so much for the Walmart sports desk.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Over to you, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the voice of Haywood Banks. He's currently on tour. Details coming up. But let's return to the. Let's return to the news world. What have you got over there?

[Jess Hooker]

Primary school students in France stumbled upon a grim find after discovering a skeleton sitting upright in a pit near the playground.

[Chick McGee]

In a pit.

[Jess Hooker]

In a pit.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, first of all, what a cool thing to come home from school. I mean, this is little kids. How was school today? Pierre, we found a skeleton.

[Haywood Banks]

Cool.

[Tom Griswold]

You'll never forget that.

[Jess Hooker]

According to the Guardian, it is the latest in a series of bodies discovered in the city of Dijon that were buried in a seated position facing west.

[Chick McGee]

Pronounced Dijon for Jessica.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, when you get that, when you order the mustard, do you say Dijon?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. Yeah, yeah. Every time. Put some flair.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I can. I understand sarcasm.

[Pat Godwin]

Whatever moves us along.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't think this is cool if you were a kid. But they're trying to.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, I'd be terrified.

[Tom Griswold]

The skeletons are all by a monkey

[Chick McGee]

bar again, I'll tell you that.

[Tom Griswold]

Skeletons are buried in a seated position all facing the same direction. They're trying to figure out what was going on.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Haywood Banks]

The remains are probably a good show coming on.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, they were in the Lazy Boy.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Kick back. Yeah, they're the remains waiting for the movie.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Are believed to have belonged to a member of the Gauls, a Celtic group of people that first emerged in roughly the 5th century BC.

[Chick McGee]

Is that G A, U, L? Gaul. They were very.

[Haywood Banks]

Was it near the ocean?

[Chick McGee]

Trying to.

[Tom Griswold]

Seagulls.

[Haywood Banks]

Were they seagulls.

[Tom Griswold]

But they think they might have been buried alive.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Scientists are trying to determine why they chose to bury their. Some of the dead in this manner and whether the people were buried alive.

[Chick McGee]

I bet you. Oh, my gosh. There he is. Boy, what a way to go, huh?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, and not real deep.

[Jeff Oskay]

You've ruined the playground.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. You see? Yeah. Right next to that one guy, there's the seesaw.

[Haywood Banks]

So they were. They were doing archaeological dig there. It wasn't like the kids came on and all of a sudden they were.

[Jeff Oskay]

No, the kids were playing in.

[Tom Griswold]

The kids. The kids were playing and they had

[Haywood Banks]

their pails and little shovels.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, they unearthed. They unearthed the part of the skull. They kept digging and I think that one technician.

[Chick McGee]

Probably going to knock off early for lunch. You know what I mean?

[Tom Griswold]

That is one healthy butt.

[Chick McGee]

Boy, oh, boy.

[Jess Hooker]

How about that ass, Jeff, the skeleton closest to us. It looks like that. It looks like that position of defeat. You know, when you slide down the side of your bed.

[Jeff Oskay]

I thought it looked like he was trying to feed himself.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, well. Or that.

[Chick McGee]

That looks like me. About 10:30 Eastern every day at home and.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, who knows?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

But again, to me they're missing the larger point. Which is what a cool day at school.

[Jess Hooker]

I think. What nightmares. Really? What would happen?

[Jeff Oskay]

Who wants to go to recess? Not me. I'm gonna study.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, you got one of your daughters. Come home. Dad. We found a skeleton by the monkey bars today. Cool. Cool, you'd say.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. There was a situation not too far from here where they okay.

[Chick McGee]

Skeletons.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, that is true.

[Tom Griswold]

They found a whole bunch of them.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, but that was murder.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, Yeah, a lot of her.

[Chick McGee]

Several times.

[Tom Griswold]

Apparently at one point, the dog showed up at the back door with a femur in its mouth.

[Chick McGee]

And you know that he had mannequins. Oh, yeah. Seated around the. Around the pool area at his house.

[Jeff Oskay]

They just identified one of the bodies last week.

[Jess Hooker]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. It's a creepy story, but we won't go to that right now because we're talking about fun things like.

[Chick McGee]

Like skeletons on a playground.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I wonder if they were just. I wonder if they were like sitting to get their. You know, Remember those Sears portrait things in the mall, you had to hold still.

[Chick McGee]

Glamour shots like Olen Mills or something.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Hold still for an hour. Okay.

[Haywood Banks]

I drove by an old cemetery one time, and there was a house built right next to it. And I. I mean, right, right. There was the fence for the cemetery and then there was a house. And I always thought of somebody sleeping in the basement, you know, like. And three feet away from you.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Haywood Banks]

Would be a body over there.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, that.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a development not too far from here where they're 30ft from the house. There are like four little graves.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, we have a lot of those out by me.

[Tom Griswold]

They can't.

[Chick McGee]

They can't move them or something, I think up to the property owner, I guess, or something. Something. But you got to go through the channels to move body. I would think.

[Tom Griswold]

I think I would buy another house. I'd move.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I wouldn't want to necessarily live there.

[Haywood Banks]

In Louisville, there's a shopping center that has a little graveyard right in the middle of the parking lot.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh.

[Chick McGee]

What?

[Jess Hooker]

Hey, kids, let's go get our school shoes.

[Chick McGee]

Stop crying.

[Tom Griswold]

Come on.

[Chick McGee]

We're going to go to Death Mall. Let's go.

[Haywood Banks]

Oh, we're building the monkey bars over the graveyard.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Ah.

[Tom Griswold]

What else you got over there?

[Jess Hooker]

Silent walking is the latest fitness trend on Tik Tok.

[Chick McGee]

Silent walking.

[Haywood Banks]

You mean holy walking.

[Tom Griswold]

Or as we used to call it, walking.

[Jess Hooker]

Just walking, much like the so called raw dogging movement.

[Chick McGee]

Oh.

[Jess Hooker]

Silent walking involves going on a walk outside without being distracted by devices or music.

[Tom Griswold]

So they're acting like this is something new.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, yeah, they really are. According to the New York Post content creator, which we know Tom loves. Content creator and okay, sis. Podcaster Maddie Mayo. Okay, sis, that's the name of our podcast. Maddie Mayo spearheaded the trend when she shared that her nutritionist had advised her to trade insane Cardio for a 30 minute daily walk. Her boyfriend then challenged her to do so without music, a podcast, or conversation. Sounds like.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I get that.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Why don't you walk real far and stay out there?

[Jess Hooker]

She credits the practice with giving her mental clarity and a creative boost.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. So that's a contemporary bravery. It looks like he's walking around for half an hour without headphones on.

[Jess Hooker]

Give her a purple Heart.

[Chick McGee]

Maddie just got married because the episode last year was Maddie and Scout. The. That's her co host. Co host the dog Recap. A special episode recapping all of Maddie's wedding festivities. Oh, there you go.

[Haywood Banks]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

She's an influencer.

[Chick McGee]

Content.

[Jess Hooker]

Content creator. Tom, take her seriously.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, there's a difference.

[Chick McGee]

Well, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Well, good luck to you. So that. What's it called again?

[Jess Hooker]

Silent walking.

[Tom Griswold]

Silent walking.

[Chick McGee]

Thinking.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

For centuries, people have been doing that, you know.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Really isn't all that.

[Chick McGee]

You're supposed to do that on a plane, too. Raw dog. On a plane.

[Jess Hooker]

I always. Raw dog. No plane.

[Jeff Oskay]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

Not me.

[Jess Hooker]

I mean, I'm asleep, but. But I think that's raw dogging before

[Chick McGee]

the pilot put the keys in the ignition. Just sound asleep on a plane. Really?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, do you take straight up.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you take.

[Jess Hooker]

No medication? No. I can fall asleep anymore anywhere.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Yeah, that's right. I don't. Do you like to wear headphones when you walk?

[Jess Hooker]

No, I don't. I need to hear what's going on around me. I'm afraid I'm gonna get hit by a car.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I'm concerned. My dogs, I know they're telling me stuff, and I don't want to miss it.

[Chick McGee]

You should be concerned you're gonna be hit by a car. Because if I see you walking, I'm gonna tell you. I read. Also, you're supposed to let your dog sniff. That's like a big deal for them. Yep.

[Pat Godwin]

Tires them out.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Their nose. Their nose is everything for them.

[Tom Griswold]

Sure. Oh, absolutely.

[Chick McGee]

You gotta let them smell.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, my theory, dogs, their sense of smell is quantitative.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

There's no science to back this.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, like, you'll. A dog will go to. Up to something that really stinks.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And they'll really huff it in.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, whereas we'd go, oh, God, I don't want to smell that.

[Chick McGee]

They love it.

[Jess Hooker]

They do.

[Chick McGee]

So they're smelling stuff that hasn't happened yet.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't think they know what smells bad or smells good. Right. Or they just like the smell. I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, because they tend to immediately focus on the behinds of their fellow dogs. Oh, look, there's Roger. Let me go. Yep, it still smells like that.

[Haywood Banks]

That's Facebook for dogs.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, that's how you get to know somebody.

[Chick McGee]

Great name for a dog, Roger. Love it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Makes me want to get a new dog so I can name him Roger.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, by the way, if you are walking, you don't have to raw dog. You can listen to the Bob and Tom show. And we have the new Bob and Tom app. It's brand new, they just rebuilt it and it's great. And also our new website.

[Jess Hooker]

Ye.

[Tom Griswold]

You can check out both those things. And I'll remind you that Orange Insoles is still out there. Even if your bracket is busted. We're still giving away a special 4K TV courtesy of Orange Insoles details@bob and tom.com contest. Ms. Hooker, what else you've got over there?

[Jess Hooker]

A new survey suggests screen time is having a mixed impact on American sex lives. According to bespoke post surgical poll of 3,000 sexually active adults, people with higher screen time actually report having sex more often. Nearly eight times per month alongside nearly 11 hours of daily screen use.

[Tom Griswold]

That seems pretty high. 11 hours a day.

[Haywood Banks]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I guess I can't be right. No, you're not awake much longer than that.

[Jess Hooker]

But I thought it would be the

[Tom Griswold]

opposite that too much screen time was detracting from. Yeah, yeah. Well, goes both ways. But I've. This is their survey, so that's what they're telling me.

[Jeff Oskay]

Maybe they're spending that 11 hours watching porn.

[Jess Hooker]

That's possible.

[Tom Griswold]

Wouldn't that reduce the getting them all wound up?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, or watching moms in Montana work out during the day.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

No, that's public television.

[Chick McGee]

That's what Oscar likes. Did you hear that? I don't think you were in the room when he was telling us all about that.

[Tom Griswold]

What is this?

[Chick McGee]

He'd have at himself. Okay, what was it?

[Jeff Oskay]

I don't know. Some workout show from Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Yeah, on channel 23.

[Jess Hooker]

Moms in spandex standing out in the middle, leg warmer.

[Tom Griswold]

How old were you at the time?

[Jeff Oskay]

I was home for 18. Sick.

[Jess Hooker]

I wish you said last Tuesday.

[Chick McGee]

So who knows?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, this is confusing.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. However, the relationship isn't entirely positive. More than half say cutting back on screens could improve their sex lives. And 60% admit that sometimes they choose TV, social media or video games over intimacy.

[Tom Griswold]

Here's an additional stat. Gen Z is having the most sex despite having the highest daily screen time. That's because they're young. I think they're kind of missing the point of that.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

This says baby boomers have the least amount of screen time on average. They're also. They're also having the least amount of sex.

[Jess Hooker]

I really find that hard to believe. I mean, if you go and visit your parents, they're just. They are face deep in their iPad going through Facebook all the time.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm glad you said iPad. Face deep. I didn't want to imagine what that was going on.

[Jess Hooker]

They just won't. I mean. Yeah, I just. I feel like boomers are as bad as little kids with screens.

[Jeff Oskay]

The only time it's affected me and my lady's sex life is one time she dropped the phone at Hitman. The face during. And that. I was like, ah. Could you not scroll?

[Jess Hooker]

Could you get on top for once?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, exactly.

[Chick McGee]

Wait a minute. Hold it. She dropped the phone.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And hit you in the face. Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

You know, she's on top of me riding.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, we. We've got the picture.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, no. I needed.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, it's not going to work.

[Chick McGee]

I needed clarification.

[Tom Griswold]

I just want. You just don't want to hear the daddy, why does Grandpa's face smell like tuna casserole? It's complicated.

[Chick McGee]

It looked like a glazed donut.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, I don't know what's coming up in the news.

[Jess Hooker]

We have robots. We have hot dogs and wedding rings.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, coming up, a song from Heywood Banks in just a couple of minutes. Mr. Banks on his way to the Crown Point Theater tonight in Elizabethtown, Kentucky.

[Chick McGee]

And a sports bulletin coming up.

[Tom Griswold]

Sports.

[Haywood Banks]

Oh, cool.

[Tom Griswold]

Haywood's gonna be doing the Gary Burbank Memorial show in Newport, Kentucky, Saturday night and then Sunday afternoon. That'll be fun, fun in Cincinnati at the famous Funny Bone. Right now I want to talk about that thing right behind Mr. Osu. That is a aura frame. A U R A what it is. It's like a slideshow. There's a picture of all of us. That's cool. It's electronic. It's a digital wonder of the world. I love these things. Unlimited capacity for photographs and videos. You can preload it and give it to someone as a gift. It makes a great gift. We had a nice letter on Monday from a lady. I think she had three sons. She was saying, yeah, and they. They now they have the code so they can, from their remote locations in other states, send her pictures of her grandkids. This makes a great gift for everybody. I'm a huge fan. The first time I saw one of these, I immediately went to Oraframes.com and bought one. We have one in our house right when you walk in by the garage. It's right there, just where the kids put their shoes. You can walk in and as you take your shoes off, you can see, oh, look, there's some cool pictures. So unlimited photo storage from the Aura frame. Again, it's spelled aura. You're going to love it. And it, as I said, makes a great gift. Visit auraframes.com by the way, name number one by wire cutter. So it's a good thing it's the Carver matte frame is the one we have right over there. Use the code word tom. They'll knock 35 bucks off the price. Aura auraframes.com promo code is my name Tom. Tell them we sent you. That'll help us. That'll help them. They'll help you. Once again, the Aura frame. A u r aura frames.com the promo code is Tom. And fill it full of lively, happy, happy photographs. We're going to return to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Haywood Banks (Podcast Promo)]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Catch any part of the show you missed later Today on our YouTube channel.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Jess Hooker.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

She's at the news desk. There's Pat Godfrey.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jeff Oskay. Hey, man. Hey, There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick [e-mail] sports desk. And it's time for extra. That's right. It was noted this happened this past week. Tom. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, students will be learning remotely as Pittsburgh hosts the NFL draft in April. According to an announcement made to students yesterday. PPS Pittsburgh Public Schools informed staff and students the schools will be shifting to asynchronous teaching and learning April 22nd through the 24th in preparation for the significant increase in visitors expected across the region during the 2026 NFL Draft.

[Tom Griswold]

I know what that means.

[Chick McGee]

Our priority is.

[Tom Griswold]

That's pretty synchronistic. What is it?

[Jess Hooker]

It's e learning.

[Chick McGee]

Asynchronous teaching.

[Tom Griswold]

Complete waste of time.

[Chick McGee]

Our priority is maintaining continuity of learning while recognizing the extraordinary circumstances Pittsburgh will experience during the NFL draft. Transitioning to asynchronous learning. There it is again, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

They're overreacting.

[Chick McGee]

Allows us to support students academically while helping families navigate the logistical challenges expected across our region.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, so like getting to and from school.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, come on.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's not really that Pittsburgh.

[Chick McGee]

It's the Steelers.

[Tom Griswold]

The superintendent must want to go to the draft. This is ridiculous. My favorite story about so called. What is it? E. Learning. What do they call it?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Is from Mr. Oscar. You want to tell everybody that one again?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, from my experience.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. The thing you had.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, I just had one yesterday.

[Chick McGee]

A new one.

[Jeff Oskay]

A new one. Yesterday, the best thing that happened, one guy just smoked the entire class. But there were two people that were hitting marijuana vapes. But they kind of like went to the side of the zoom screen and you would see him, like, take a puff and then they would blow it out of the screen, but then it would slowly come across.

[Tom Griswold]

So I didn't realize. Realized when you did these things, you can see everybody else in your class.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

And they can all see you. Yeah. The professor makes all the cameras beyond. Right.

[Jeff Oskay]

Cameras got to be on.

[Tom Griswold]

And the other day you were telling us one of the women was a doordash driver and she was delivering food.

[Chick McGee]

That's my favorite.

[Jeff Oskay]

Would walk into a restaurant, grab a bag. You'd see her get back in her car, drive, get out, walk and set it on somebody's front porch.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, I admire the work. I admire the work ethic. But at the same time, didn't one

[Chick McGee]

of your fellow students say, f this, I'm not doing this anymore?

[Jeff Oskay]

Our project. I'm taking a marketing class. Heywood. And we were informed that our project for the semester was a CEO would be coming in next class and we would be writing a marketing campaign for his company, to which every student reply, I ain't doing that. I ain't working for free. He ain't getting my. My intellectual property without giving me some money.

[Tom Griswold]

Money. The guy who's got three hubcaps missing that's gonna come up with the way

[Jeff Oskay]

he's the one that's.

[Tom Griswold]

He's gonna save the business. Okay.

[Chick McGee]

You never know.

[Tom Griswold]

I know.

[Haywood Banks (Podcast Promo)]

That's perfect.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, well, such thing as a bad idea.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, there is. You've been to one of our meetings.

[Chick McGee]

No, I haven't.

[Tom Griswold]

You guys talked me out of putting the cross bats on the shirts I wanted.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, it's time for our history lesson. Before we get to this new song from Haywood, we need to go back in time.

[Chick McGee]

March 20th.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a minute. What is it? March 20th. Okay, this is a good one.

[Chick McGee]

Anytime.

[Tom Griswold]

1916, Albert Einstein published the General Theory of relativity.

[Chick McGee]

General. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

His friends read that and went, yeah,

[Chick McGee]

that's why Big Al's at it again.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that. The theory of Relativity. That explains why those classes just seem to last forever. Yeah, they were so boring.

[Chick McGee]

Cuckoo for cocoa pups. Here comes Al.

[Tom Griswold]

This is good. 1930, KFC is founded by Colonel Harland C. Sanders.

[Chick McGee]

Thank goodness.

[Jess Hooker]

Nice.

[Tom Griswold]

He's a colonel in the same military wing as Colonel. Colonel. Colonel Tom Parker and Cap and Crunch. I don't think he was, actually. But KFC in there. It's my understanding in the beginning you had to bring your own bucket. They didn't. Yeah, they didn't have the paper bucket. Hand them the bucket.

[Chick McGee]

See, I believe byob.

[Tom Griswold]

That sounds like it was the first time most white people had had any seasoning besides salt.

[Chick McGee]

Salt.

[Tom Griswold]

It's 11 secret spices. Never mind.

[Chick McGee]

Who was it?

[Tom Griswold]

White people. Yeah. Oh, here's a good one. Remember this one, Pat? You'll love this one. You, too, Haywood. John Lennon and Yoko Ono got married. Do you remember where?

[Pat Godwin]

The Gibraltar rocket. Gibraltar?

[Tom Griswold]

In the song. Gibraltar, the country Gibraltar. Near Spain, they say in the song. Oh, you know that song I'm talking about?

[Jess Hooker]

No.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

Does it. Dang me, dang me Take a rope and hang.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

I got married. Yoko and J.

[Pat Godwin]

Standing in the dark of Southampton.

[Tom Griswold]

That's it.

[Pat Godwin]

Trying to get to Holland. Of France.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

You know, the mad and the maxent.

[Chick McGee]

You got to go back, you know,

[Pat Godwin]

they didn't even give us a chance.

[Tom Griswold]

Christ. You know, it ain't easy living with y.

[Chick McGee]

The way things are going.

[Tom Griswold]

Gonna crucify me. Oh, it's a great beat.

[Haywood Banks]

There he goes, talking about Jesus song

[Jess Hooker]

Breakout of the Morning. I love it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but that's the. They did the famous bed in for Peace.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I remember that. I mean, I remember seeing pictures of it.

[Tom Griswold]

Kind of the laziest protest ever, you know, Usually, like, march across a bridge or something.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

We're just gonna lie in bed and Yoko's gonna give you some beaver shots.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. Sorry. Do you ever see the COVID that.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Album with John Lennon.

[Jess Hooker]

Were they. Were they not. Were they making love for peace? Was that a part of it?

[Tom Griswold]

They were have. They were reporters sitting around.

[Chick McGee]

I think that's what they said.

[Tom Griswold]

They were smoking and doing something.

[Jess Hooker]

Gotcha.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, this is exciting. In 1971, in the state, Led Zeppelin performed Stairway to Heaven live for the first time. Great song. Of course. Do you remember this one? Do you know who Patty Hearst was?

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, was she an actress?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Jess Hooker]

Well, she a victim of murder no,

[Tom Griswold]

she was a victim of kidnapping.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, there we go.

[Tom Griswold]

But on this date in 76, she was convicted for her role in the. In a bank robbery. This is the old Stockholm syndrome thing.

[Chick McGee]

Held up a bank, this sla. Remember that?

[Haywood Banks]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

The Symbionese Liberation Army.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, sir.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they've. Their ranks have really thinned.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, you don't hear a lot from anymore.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I think we're going to attack those guys. Well, that's a sure win. Let's see now. On this day, Major League Baseball announced that in 89 that Pete Rose under investigation for gambling stain the game.

[Jess Hooker]

We know how that ended.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that's the. What's that? That's the source of that song. Every rose has its thorn. No, Never knew that.

[Chick McGee]

Is that right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. I can't dislike a song more than that one.

[Chick McGee]

You like that song right there with you.

[Jess Hooker]

That's fine.

[Tom Griswold]

That is an audio turd. Let's see. Oh, this was a sad day for me. 2012, Peyton Manning signed with the Denver Broncos. Oh, well, happy birthday to the great Carl Reiner. We were talking about the Dick Van Dyke Show. Oh, happy birthday to Fred Rogers.

[Jess Hooker]

That's nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you find Mr. McFeely gave you the creeps?

[Chick McGee]

I. What was his name? King. What was it? King Vitamin or. Oh, wasn't there a king.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

King Krabby. What was it?

[Jess Hooker]

Queen, King Wednesday. King.

[Chick McGee]

King Friday.

[Jess Hooker]

King Friday.

[Chick McGee]

King Friday.

[Tom Griswold]

And you, you're a big fan of sweaters.

[Chick McGee]

I love sweaters.

[Tom Griswold]

And wouldn't you say the goat, if you will, of sweaters is.

[Chick McGee]

It might Fred Rogers when it comes to cardigans. Yeah, very well be. That's exactly right.

[Tom Griswold]

And he would. He would come to.

[Jess Hooker]

He'd switch out of his outside sweater

[Tom Griswold]

into his outside and his outside shoes.

[Chick McGee]

I thought you were looking for a sweater to wear here in the studio every now and then. But you say you hate sweater. What are you for looking. Looking for. You got something somewhere and kept telling me about it.

[Tom Griswold]

I'd say Faherty. It's a like a. Oh, those are good. Shirt, jacket.

[Jess Hooker]

Good brand.

[Chick McGee]

A shacket.

[Tom Griswold]

The star of my favorite movie, William Hurt, born in the state of 1950. Sadly, he's gone.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, what movie is that, Tom?

[Tom Griswold]

Body Heat.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, tell me all about that.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a great movie. Ever see that? Jeffrey?

[Jess Hooker]

Don't, don't, don't.

[Tom Griswold]

Jeffrey, Let me tell you something. Don't you. You've got the weekend with your lady. Yeah, I'm telling you.

[Jeff Oskay]

Is this the one where someone throws something through A window?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. She'll question your sanity.

[Jeff Oskay]

I told you. Multiple times I've had women throw stuff through my windows. It's not hot.

[Chick McGee]

Well, it's. Some would say confrontational is what it is.

[Tom Griswold]

I'll tell you what, though. That is some mighty nice porch furniture.

[Jess Hooker]

That is nice.

[Tom Griswold]

When it's heavy enough to break the glass.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So that's a great scene. I'm telling you. Watch that movie with your lady, you'll thank me on Monday.

[Jess Hooker]

No, you won't.

[Tom Griswold]

Write it down.

[Chick McGee]

Down.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

Happy birthday to my baby brother Chop.

[Tom Griswold]

What's his name?

[Jess Hooker]

We call him Chop.

[Tom Griswold]

Chop?

[Jess Hooker]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

Like Pork Chop?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

Why do you call him that?

[Jess Hooker]

Because when he was born, he had really big jowls and they said. I think Pork Chop was the name of a dog character on Jerry.

[Tom Griswold]

That's sweet.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

How old's Mr. Chop?

[Jess Hooker]

He's 42.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

I thought.

[Chick McGee]

I thought somebody put a. Plastic. Plastic.

[Jess Hooker]

They did that.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

They put a plastic pork chop in his birthing cage. Whatever they call that crib.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I think that's what. And I have a technical sports question for you.

[Chick McGee]

Chick hit me, baby.

[Tom Griswold]

57, the birthday of Spike Lee. Very fine film director.

[Chick McGee]

He was never involved in competitive sports that I know of.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you find his presence at Knicks games more annoying than Taylor Swift's presence at Kansas City Chiefs game?

[Chick McGee]

I don't find either of them annoying. He bought those seats. He can. He can be there. And the same.

[Tom Griswold]

I profoundly disagree. No kidding. Well, on that note, we'll end today in history, even though we have a couple more. Well, 88, the great Steph Curry, who. I believe they just made the playoffs already.

[Chick McGee]

My favorite story about Steph Curry is that. And I forget the guy's. Oh, Rex Chapman wrote a book. And in his book, he and Dell Curry were driving to practice. They both played for the Charlotte Hornets. And Chapman says, who knew that the greatest shooter in NBA history was in the. In the car seat in the back? And it was. It was Steph. As they were going. Going to practice. Isn't that hilarious? That's wonderful.

[Tom Griswold]

I just watched. I went to see him already this season. He's amazing. Now we're gonna come back, we got a new song from Heywood Banks. And I'll remind you. Heywood. Heywood Banks on the road. Tonight, the Crown Point Theater in Lizville, Elizabethtown, Kentucky. Does anyone call it that? Saturday, it's the Gary born. The Gary Burbank. Excuse me. The Gary Burbank Memorial show at Newport, Kentucky. And then Sunday afternoon, A special afternoon show at the famous Funny Bone In Cincinnati with Mr. Haywood Banks. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Haywood Banks (Podcast Promo)]

Add to or continue the conversation. Check out the Bob and Tom show on Facebook. Get the [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Details on that coming up.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. In the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Jess Hooker at the news desk.

[Jess Hooker]

Charles?

[Chick McGee]

Yes. There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hello, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Here's Jeff Oskay.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hey, man.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby.

[Tom Griswold]

Kind of like Mr. Ed for a second there.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jeff Oskay. Josh Arnold still under the weather. Rumor is he will make a triumphant return Monday.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that true?

[Chick McGee]

That's what I'm hearing.

[Tom Griswold]

Hope so.

[Chick McGee]

I'm chick@the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. And here's Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

A couple things in the studio. We have a comedian, Haywood Banks, and I could plug Heywood's appearances, but I'd rather plug something else. Plug. Heywood Banks was actually able to procreate and his daughter has a restaurant in greater Detroit that was voted the best restaurant in the city.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Jess Hooker]

Congratulations.

[Haywood Banks]

And it's called Roses Fine Food.

[Tom Griswold]

If you're anywhere near Detroit, Michigan. Rose's Fine Food was just voted the best restaurant in Detroit.

[Jess Hooker]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

And Haywood possibly had something to do with her birth. The DNA test results.

[Haywood Banks]

Yeah.

Rest Restaurant of the year.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't that great?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, Very cool.

[Haywood Banks]

Spectacular.

[Tom Griswold]

The lovely Molly.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Molly Banks, of course. I was just talking to Mrs. Banks in the other room and trying to make her tea. I think I sent someone else to do it. I screwed it up some.

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But we have a request. But do you want to do your new song first?

[Haywood Banks]

Yeah, I'd like to.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. No, do I need the background on this? You're on your way to the Crown Point Theater in Elizabethtown, Kentucky tonight. And then tomorrow it's the Gary Burbank Memorial Show. That's awesome. Gary was one of the great, just tremendous as a funny guy and just a terrific guy. Gary was a famous DJ and hilarious comedian and sadly, he's gone. But a little memorial thing going on in Newport, Kentucky, Saturday night. I'll give you some more details on that coming up. Hey, was also going to be in Cincinnati at the famous Funny Bones Sunday afternoon for a little afternoon show. Now this is something new. Do we need any background on this?

[Ace Cosby]

This?

[Haywood Banks]

I. I don't know what you could do.

[Tom Griswold]

You need Godwin to play Guitar.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, we're good.

[Haywood Banks]

Jimmy burst into the room all excited, rolling up his T shirt sleeve. He had a bruise the size of an Idaho potato on his shoulder that you wouldn't believe. Thought he put down his bike or

got into a fight some and hit

him with a dumb bell. Wait, he said, fools, this ain't no bruise.

That's a tattoo of a chicken fried steak. Chicken fried steak. Chicken. Chicken fried steak. Chicken fried steak. Chicken fried steak. It's a steak by definition masquerading as a chicken. So you want to eat a steak, but you want to make it clucky. You got three words that'll make you feel lucky. Wet your own. Your plate. Cockadoodle.

Moo.

Chicken fried steak.

Well, his buddy Jimmy said his buddy is the one who done the tattoo using printer cartridge ink, cut with Mountain Dew.

And we all gathered round to ooh

and awe at the colors. Burnt sienna, magenta, and yellow dye number two.

Someone said, what's this part of the side of the tattoos all brown and wavy? Jimmy said, you ain't got no eye for art. That there's chicken fried steak.

Gravy.

Chicken fried steak. Chicken fried steak. Chicken fried steak. Chicken fried steak. It's a steak by definition masquerading as a chicken. If you want to eat a steak and you want to make it plucky, you got three words that'll make you feel lucky. When? Right there on your plate. Cockadoodle.

[Jess Hooker]

Moo.

[Haywood Banks]

Chicken fried steak.

Just then, Jimmy rolls up his other sleeve, reveal a second tattoo. Looks a lot like the other Idaho potato. Burnt sienna, magenta, yellow dye number two bruise.

When we asked why he got got two of the same, he says, are you blind?

What are you thinking?

This first tattoo is chicken fried steak. This tattoo is steak fried chicken. Oh, chicken fried steak. Chicken fried steak. Chicken fried steak. Chicken fried steak. It's a steak by definition masquerading as a chicken. If you want to eat a steak, but you want to make lucky. I got three words that'll make you feel lucky right there on your plate. Cockadoodle.

[Jess Hooker]

Moo.

[Haywood Banks]

Chicken fried steak. And yes, that's finger licking. Moo doodle doo. Steak fried chicken Doodle doo.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much, Haywood. Mr. Haywood Banks. Now at the the other guitar in the room is Pat Godwin. We're gonna hear from him in just a few minutes, but right now we're gonna head back over over to Ms. Hooker. Once again, I was just urging her to come up with her cookbook. You're always cooking stuff for us. I am how many original recipes do you have?

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, I don't know. I would have to get out my recipe box and kind of sort through them and.

[Tom Griswold]

And see, we could do a digital cookbook.

[Jess Hooker]

We could do a digital cookbook, find it online. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's a good place to start. We could do it. I could. I could do recipes inspired by everyone here on Stephen Chef. Oh, we do that. We could do, like, Tom's chicken thighs. We have that recipe.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Best of the bird.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, we could do that.

[Tom Griswold]

Mr. Oskar, what's your best dish?

[Jeff Oskay]

Probably chili.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Haywood Banks]

I think it would be artisanal chili if you put a beard hair in it.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you.

[Jess Hooker]

Bound to happen. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Pat your bestie soup at a candy bar. Oh, soup and a candy bar.

[Jess Hooker]

I think I would do something oyster. Oyster related.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I'd love that.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Yeah. He likes oysters like I do. So, yeah, chick, what would you do? What's your. You have a pasta sauce?

[Chick McGee]

I have a pasta sauce the kids liked. Yeah, I would make that. Just hamburger and elbow macaroni and. And marinara is what I do.

[Tom Griswold]

Ace. I'm sure. Once again, a microwave and a. I didn't use microwave.

[Jess Hooker]

Wait, what do you have? Do you have, like, a recipe that you like?

[Chick McGee]

I do like making pizzas.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, Making pizzas. Okay. Yeah, we could do a homemade pizza with. Ace.

[Tom Griswold]

We did that again last night.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

How much? How much pizza?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. See, it's. It's a great thing. Instead of just ordering a pizza for nine bucks, you can go to the store and buy the dough, the pizza, sauce, etc.

[Chick McGee]

Etc. Mushrooms.

[Tom Griswold]

$58. Yeah, but it's fun.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. I don't. I don't want to cut into your joke, but if you haven't ordered a pizza lately, there's none for $9. No, we. We get out of the pizza place for less than 60 bucks.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, same here.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. It's insane.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, yeah. Now, let's move forward here. What have you got in the news over there?

[Pat Godwin]

What?

[Haywood Banks]

Let's move forward.

[Jess Hooker]

Let's see, what do we have? A new study finds that teenagers spend nearly a third of the school day on smartphones. Researchers also found that students were on their phones every hour during school. Social media and entertainment accounted for over 70, 70% of the time on their phones. Students who check their phone phones more frequently showed poor cognitive control, a key skill for learning academic and academic success. The findings suggest that frequent interruptions from repeated phone checking may be particularly disruptive to learning and the restricting access to certain Apps during school may help protect students attention space fans.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, yeah, duh. Yeah, but I what was the percentage

[Jess Hooker]

of 70% of the of their time is spent on their phones? Oh, no. 70% on social media and entertainment sites or apps.

[Tom Griswold]

Not this week. 50 is gambling.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. 50% is college basketball gambling this week at your average high school, it says

[Jess Hooker]

kids are checking their phones at least every hour while they're in school. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're usually texting their mom.

[Tom Griswold]

And more and more schools are now locking them away during the day so they get a little bit of focus. But this is cutting down on penises being carved into the desks.

[Chick McGee]

That's true. I mean, you got to look at this.

[Tom Griswold]

You got to look at the upside.

[Haywood Banks]

Yeah, the whittling is nothing.

[Chick McGee]

That was our version of wasting time. Wasting time?

[Jess Hooker]

Is there? I, I, I'm assuming that the graffiti in the bathroom stalls is down as well. Well, I would think so.

[Tom Griswold]

I would think so.

[Jeff Oskay]

Not at my son's old school.

[Jess Hooker]

No, no.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe once a week. Maybe it's for a good time. Log on to here I if you want to see what what Ms. Frozen would look like naked.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

By the way, I would like to see what Ms. Frumpson.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, by the way, my Latin teacher that I've been talking about, she threw a friend connect and said I hear chick and it was in quotes talking about me. I wish he'd stop. I was Ms. Vicario who was on my Latin teacher. She flunked me. I'm not gonna listen to her. What the heck? Of course I didn't complete any of the work and fell asleep during class at 2. Chickade. Yes, indeed. The only thing I remember is Pegasus, his horse.

[Tom Griswold]

You took Latin?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah. Well, it took me.

[Jess Hooker]

Was she a hot teacher?

[Chick McGee]

Yes, and evidently she was having parties at her house like every Friday.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, and you weren't invited?

[Chick McGee]

No, with a little of the dubage, I guess. I don't know.

[Jess Hooker]

Well, maybe this is the part she doesn't want you talking about.

[Chick McGee]

You think she's holding now, these are

[Tom Griswold]

all allegations that are not true.

[Chick McGee]

Certainly not right now.

[Tom Griswold]

I want to talk about your bracket. Perhaps it's busted already. You entered our orangeinsouls.com competition.

[Chick McGee]

They're still hope you'd like to win a million dollars. Orangeinsoles.com. that's right. You walk, you work. Do you stand longer than 10 minutes without making a noise like this? Oh, if you said yes to any of those, you could benefit from orange insoles. Feet get tired Arches collapse. Heels ache, knees complain, backs tighten up. Most people say, I'm just getting old. Nope, it's probably your feet. Orange insoles deliver rigid arch support. Support that does not collapse by lunchtime. Ask Tom. He has orange insoles in his shoes right now.

[Tom Griswold]

I certainly do.

[Chick McGee]

They help maintain alignment as your feet and legs fatigue, reducing stress on knees, hips and lower back. Less oof at the end of the day. Durable enough for work boots. Or in Tom's case, skiing boots. Opera ski boots.

[Pat Godwin]

Thank you.

[Chick McGee]

Comfortable enough for everyday wear. If you've ever said, my feet are killing me, orangeinsols.com is for you. You upgraded your truck tires. You improved your mattress. Maybe upgrade what you stand on all day. Visit orangeinsouls.com order more and save with orange Insoles. Bundle packs and be sure to use the promo code Bob and Tom at checkout to receive $5 off your total order, plus free shipping in the USA. That's orangeinsouls.com. $5 off your total order and free shipping. Just use the promo code code Bob and Tom. Orangeinsouls.com still at stake.

[Tom Griswold]

A 4K TV, courtesy of Orange Insoles. Thank you very much. We're going to come back. We've got comedian Haywood Banks hanging out with us and a couple of cool news stories on the way, including a hippopotamus. A little baby hippopotamus, probably the most famous hippo in the world, is back in the news. We'll find out about this little critter when we return to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Boba Top Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Jess Hooker's at the news desk. Hi, there's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, man. There's Jeff Osk. Yes, there's Ace Cosby. Abby, I'm Chick McGee at the orangeinsols.com desk. Hello, Heywood. This is how we do this. Haywood, I know you don't conform to any rules, but tell me. Tom, we have a special guest.

[Tom Griswold]

This is how we do it. Heywood Banks.

[Haywood Banks]

Hi, Jake. There it is. Okay, now.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, wear headphones, Heywood.

[Chick McGee]

You'd hear your guitar cutting out.

[Tom Griswold]

We just put some new batteries in.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, good.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll see if that.

[Chick McGee]

That's great.

[Tom Griswold]

Although there's a question if.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, no, there's not a question there a snag.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, he was handed two batteries.

[Chick McGee]

Huh?

[Tom Griswold]

But he couldn't remember if the old batteries or the ones that is left hand or is Right hand you know the exact same batteries?

[Chick McGee]

This is exciting. It is confusing if you.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. When you change batteries, I have a system. You take the old ones out, you put them way over there. When you take the new ones.

[Chick McGee]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. What do you do with the old ones?

[Tom Griswold]

You put them way over there.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Or you. Or you heave them into the waste basket. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know what.

[Haywood Banks]

I was over there.

[Chick McGee]

I was. I was way off on my criticism.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll get to it. We'll check that in just a second. Right now we move that way to Ms. Jess Hooker sitting in for Christy Lee at the Bob and Tom news desk. What have we missed?

[Jess Hooker]

Costco CEO Ron Varch has vowed that the retailer's famed hot dog will not increase in price anytime soon.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, thank gosh.

[Jess Hooker]

A video shared online by Costco shows Mr. Varkhris eating a hot dog at a Costco warehouse food court before saying. Saying the hot dog price will not change as long as I'm around. He adds, that's a dollar fifty well spent.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a smart move.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Get people to come in.

[Chick McGee]

I haven't even talked about the pizza yet. Oh, my gosh.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's a good slice.

[Tom Griswold]

I was sent this hack. Have you heard about this? The forbidden glizzy?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

You stuff the hot dog into.

[Jess Hooker]

It's. It. I don't know what it. What it's called, but it's like a pocket with cheese and meat and that. That thing. It's like a calzone. I don't know what it's called on the menu.

[Chick McGee]

Huh?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. There's a photograph of it.

[Jess Hooker]

Think of it as a hot pocket.

[Tom Griswold]

It looks like. It looks like the. The phallus of the orange guy. And the Fantastic Four. The thing. Well, Jeffrey, look at this. Tell me I'm wrong. Does this not look. If you could imagine.

[Chick McGee]

You mean Ben Grimm?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, Ben Grimm. Am I right?

[Jeff Oskay]

You nailed it.

[Chick McGee]

Is it. He's orange, though. Is it orange?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, orange.

[Chick McGee]

He's more orange.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's. It's an orange. What is it, like a breaded chicken thing or something?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, there's something. Yeah, there's chicken and cheese in it. And then. So then you shove the hot dog in that also.

[Haywood Banks]

It's a chick.

You put it in the chicken bake.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, the chicken bake. Yes. Yes. Thank you.

[Chick McGee]

Ah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. That's what it is. Okay. But it. It. It's huge. And that's a thing out there. Once again, the forbidden glizzy.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. So if you Want I'd be interested

[Chick McGee]

to find out how glizzy started as a synonym for hot dog.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't know either.

[Chick McGee]

Where did that come from?

[Tom Griswold]

I believe it came from.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, here we go.

[Tom Griswold]

I.

[Chick McGee]

Tell me all about it.

[Tom Griswold]

It came from a nickname for a Glock.

[Jess Hooker]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

The gun.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, Yeah, I know what a Glock is.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, Yeah, I looked up this. I look, after we were talking about. I looked it up yesterday. Yeah, that's it. I think it was. I forget. It was like Baltimore or something. Or maybe it was dc.

[Chick McGee]

You think the barrel of a Glock is kind of sort of similar.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

Hot dog girth?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but it started as a. I think a hip hop thing.

[Haywood Banks]

Tin Glizzy.

[Tom Griswold]

Glizzy Thin. Glizzy would be a. Maybe a rifle barrel, I don't know. Or a great band out of Ireland.

[Jess Hooker]

I just think glizzy makes it sound sexual somehow.

[Chick McGee]

Really?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Does that. Does anybody else get that?

[Jeff Oskay]

Know?

[Chick McGee]

Well, I think a hot dog lends itself to sex anyway. Yeah, well, yeah, sure, but.

[Tom Griswold]

And so. But the head guy, the man.

[Jess Hooker]

This is a very popular thing going around on social media, too. All the CEOs taking a bite of restaurants and fast food and these types of things, taking a bite of their signature item and saying, oh, this is great.

[Tom Griswold]

And one of them I saw was getting crucified because he referred to the. The particular food item as a product.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, that was Mickey D's. And then he took the weirdest, smallest bite of the sandwich you've ever seen. He goes, I can't wait to enjoy this product.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, no.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my.

[Jess Hooker]

Was he a real person?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. And then Burger King, that dude came on. He's like, I'll eat my burger.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Just molded into his face.

[Jess Hooker]

All the. Wendy's guy did it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's. It's a big thing watching. Watching the CEOs act normal and eat the products.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's kind of. It's kind of come back. I mean, the. The first guy that did that, wasn't that the guy that. I like the shaver so much, I bought the company.

[Chick McGee]

Victor Kayam.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That became kind of a thing there for a while.

[Jess Hooker]

I think Dave Thomas is the original this. Really? Yeah, he's the.

[Tom Griswold]

He's the og, but the guy from Costco talking about their wieners. Pat, you like talking about your wiener, don't you?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, sure.

[Pat Godwin]

Gets a laugh out there in the clubs and you're dying.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's go to a D joke.

[Chick McGee]

That's your closer. Isn't it?

[Pat Godwin]

These songs to close with.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, now, I just sent. Jason. Did you get that photograph? Can we get that up for everybody? There it is.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, am I not correct saying it looks like the phallus house of Ben Grimm?

[Chick McGee]

You are absolutely, absolutely correct.

[Haywood Banks]

Kind of orange plush toy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but. And his would be lumpy like that.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, sure would. He's made out of rock.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a solid foot and maybe 14 inches.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, you're. For once you're not exaggerating. That's exactly right.

[Tom Griswold]

It is nasty.

[Jess Hooker]

Is there a foot long dog at Costco?

[Jeff Oskay]

I think so.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, okay.

[Chick McGee]

Have you ever gone to Costco when they got all the samples out? Oh, man, it's the best.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You never do that?

[Tom Griswold]

No, I've never.

[Jeff Oskay]

You ever go grab a lawn chair and just set up next to the same.

[Chick McGee]

Absolutely. Yeah. Go. Well, no, you got to go from stand to stand to stand to stand. And then.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I'll have to try it.

[Chick McGee]

Start over.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, we have a request here. Haywood. Mr. Banks is in the studio. Can you please play the song Trauma to the Groin?

[Pat Godwin]

That's a goodie.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a sing along. Perfect for Reds opening day with baseball. With the possibility of a baseball hitting in that area. Now, we determined that the guitar sounded good.

[Haywood Banks]

Now, can you hear it?

[Chick McGee]

Okay. No, no, not a sound. There we go.

[Jess Hooker]

A little bit more.

[Haywood Banks]

That working?

[Tom Griswold]

There we go. There we go.

[Chick McGee]

Ace can hear it, so we're fine.

[Haywood Banks]

Oh, I love those funny video shows.

I just can't get enough.

The cavalcade of concussions. Boy, that's funny stuff. They're trippin in Poughkeepsie. They're slippin in Des Moines. But the ones that win 10,000 bucks are all trauma to the groin. A trauma to the groin, boys. Trauma to the groin. Nothing's quite as funny as a trauma to the groin. There is no wit more pretty. There is no joke divine nor limerick delicious as a trauma to the groin. Now Jacob was a small boy in a T ball league. And his father stood behind him hoping coaching to succeed

the boy.

He swung with all his might. You should have seen dad's face when the bat connected between first and second base. Oh, a trauma to the groin, boys. Drama to the the groin. Nothing's quite as funny as a trauma to the groin. There is no wit more pretty. There is no joke divine no limerick delicious as a trauma to the groin. Well, we wanted to collect the check from those video fools. So we taught our three year old the running headbutt to the jewels. Too bad we left the lens cap on the camera by mistake. Cause grandpa weren't too happy about the second take. Oh, a trauma to the groin, boys Trauma to the groin Nothing's quite as funny as a trauma to the groin There is no wit more pretty There is no joke divine no limerick delicious as a trauma to the groin Last night, Verse Ariel. Well, one day while in the garden I stepped upon a rake the blow intense and accurate an impression it did

make

me Children caught it all on tape Thought it was the funniest thing and I choked a curse out through my tears as they began to sing A trauma to the growing boys Trauma to the groin Nothing's quite as funny as a trauma to the groin There is no whit more pretty There is no joke divine no limerick delicious as a trauma to the groin oh, I

guess there is one more verse

[Tom Griswold]

way up there.

[Haywood Banks]

Well, I won the money but I failed to see the joke to each to his own, I guess and most of the doe well don't you know paid the bill to the EMS so let us. Let us be resolved that a trauma is much more funny if your own groin's not involved A trauma to the groin, boys Trauma to the groin and nothing's quite as funny as a trauma to the groin There is no wit more pretty There is no joke divine no limerick delicious as a trauma to the groin

[Tom Griswold]

thank you very much. By request, Heywood Banks. Trauma to the groin.

[Haywood Banks]

Close.

[Tom Griswold]

Primarily applying to the gents. But you ladies have an issue with trauma to the groin. That can hurt.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Yeah, it hurts down there. Still. The plumbing is a little different and. Yeah, but it still hurts if you. If. If you take trauma to the growing.

[Haywood Banks]

So women experience pain.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Is that crazy?

[Tom Griswold]

No, but I mean, one wouldn't necessarily.

[Jess Hooker]

No, but I mean, for me, that song makes me emotional because I feel like probably for a lot of people that listen to the show, your music is what our. How we introduce or we bond with our kids over comedy for the first time. Like, this is safe to listen to. It's clever, it's fun. And I think of my kids going to school and listening to your music, and that's what we would listen to. So it kind of chokes me up. Yeah. So thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

Gay. Well, when I.

[Haywood Banks]

When I first got on TikTok, there were all these people said, oh, I. I used. I put toast up and people said, oh, I downed load. I downloaded this off Limewire onto a

mixtape tape and played it on the.

On the school bus on the way to middle school.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, okay.

[Haywood Banks]

Not one of them sent me a nickel.

[Jess Hooker]

No, no. You didn't get anything out of it.

[Tom Griswold]

Right. But. But just important. I just. Once again, it's a hack premise, but boys bikes have the bar up there,

[Jess Hooker]

which never made sense to me.

[Tom Griswold]

And the ladies bikes do not.

[Jess Hooker]

Shouldn't it be the opposite?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but I think.

[Chick McGee]

Don't they make bikes now where the bar it. They all have bars, but it's a little lower.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, some of them. But I think the logic. I. I'm guessing the logic was ladies would be wearing skirts.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, I didn't think of that.

[Haywood Banks]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

So I'm guessing the ladies still ride side saddle. I'm. I don't have.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't think that ever.

[Chick McGee]

Still a horse.

[Tom Griswold]

But how'd you convince a woman to do that?

[Chick McGee]

Side saddle? Yeah. How do you not fall off the horse?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, they have seat belts riding side.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Of course.

[Chick McGee]

Is that right?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

You gotta buckle up.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, let's squeeze in one more story. What have you got over there?

[Jess Hooker]

Let's see.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, do. Do you have the robot story?

[Jess Hooker]

I do.

[Tom Griswold]

Jason, do you have that video? This is amazing.

[Jess Hooker]

A California restaurant descended into chaos after a dancing robot went berserk and started smashing into a table.

[Chick McGee]

Yep.

[Jess Hooker]

A video shows the humanoid robot knocking over tableware, smashing plates, and ascending chopsticks flying at the San Jose hot pot restaurant.

[Chick McGee]

How many times does this have to happen before we learn a lesson?

[Jeff Oskay]

Somehow hot pot is like cauldrons of boiling oil. Like, that's terrifying.

[Jess Hooker]

That's the most unsafe place to have a robot. Yes. 3. Three employees can be seen restraining the robot while dodging its arms that swing around wildly.

[Chick McGee]

There we go. Oh, yeah, There he is.

[Haywood Banks]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

The robot is starting to dance.

[Chick McGee]

Here he goes. And then he's out of control.

[Jess Hooker]

It looks like he's just doing the waves.

[Tom Griswold]

And then.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, hey, hey.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there's a. They have to restrain the little guy. Row, row, row your bum. Yeah. They're keeping him from knocking over the hot oil. That's probably the worst place to have.

[Chick McGee]

He's been overserved like a f. Place.

[Tom Griswold]

It's drunk.

[Jess Hooker]

Unplug him.

[Tom Griswold]

Gee, I ate at a robot restaurant last week.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. How was.

[Tom Griswold]

Was good. It's a sushi place.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And they have. It's like a. There's two different kinds of robots, and they run along this track, and you order remotely. And then this car comes by.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And your stuff's on there. And then there's. There's also one that zips around on

[Jeff Oskay]

the floor and it has, like, trays on it.

[Haywood Banks]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

The food comes up to your table and you take the food off.

[Jess Hooker]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

The one I was at, you just heard happy birthday. And this robot comes along as singing. Happy birthday. Has got a piece of cake with a candle on it on the tray that comes up to the table and happy birthday to you.

[Tom Griswold]

And this is kind of in the early stages, but pretty soon. Oh, yeah, it'll be every day.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, you can imagine. I'll tell you what, the robot Somalia at so and so is really.

[Chick McGee]

It was way off on that wine, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they're. I mean, they're robots.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It is so weird.

[Jess Hooker]

That is weird. Was it fun?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, my kids went nuts.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, but did you miss interacting with the weight stuff?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah. You do like that. You love that.

[Haywood Banks]

You have to tip them.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. In bitcoin.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's the only way, though.

[Chick McGee]

Hang on, hang on. Never mind.

[Tom Griswold]

Here you go. Just say in bitcoin again.

[Jeff Oskay]

In bitcoin. There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, okay. We got two of them. Okay. There you go. Sorry. Right now I want to tell you about the Hyundai. Tell them Christy's our Hyundai girl. She has. She has the sand. No, she has the Tucson. The Hyundai. No, I mean Hyundai, they've got something going on right now. They're calling it the getaway sales event because you. You will get away with a great deal. It's so right, it almost feels wrong. From Hyundai, they've got all kinds of adventure ready SUVs. The Hyundai Santa Fe, the Santa Fe hybrid, the Tucson, or Christy Lee's favorite, the Tucson hybrid. She's been driving that for two years. And Christy always dumps her cars after a year. So this is nice. She loves this.

[Haywood Banks]

I have a Santa Fe hybrid.

[Tom Griswold]

I understand you do? It's out in the parking lot. The Hyundai bold and stylish Elantra is also part of the getaway sales event. Also, they have the all electric Ionic 5 and the Ionic 9. And for those of you with literary pretensions, I suggested the iambic pentameter, and they said no. The Ionic 9 and the Ionic 5 are the electric ones. Get down, find out what's going on at your local Hyundai dealers and get away with the deal during the famous getaway sales event. Hyundai. Excuse me, Hyundai Hyundai USA.com is a place you can get some details. I just say, go over to the dealership. Drive one and you're gonna like it. Hyundai USA.com we're gonna come Right back, hanging out with Pat Gowdra and Heywood Banks. We're getting that song out of you. Up next, Pat, Whatever you want. Okay.

[Chick McGee]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Haywood Banks (Podcast Promo)]

This is the Bob and Tom Show. Reach us toll free at 1-888-BOB-TOM1 [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Jess Hooker at the news desk.

[Pat Godwin]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hello, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jeff O. There's Ace Cosby. And Tom, we have a special guest guest in the studio.

[Haywood Banks]

Hi, Check.

[Tom Griswold]

Joining us in the studio, it's comedian Haywood Banks. Thank you, Haywood. As promised, we do have a song coming from Mr. Godwin.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's kind of reflective of a news story we had that we get one of these every once in a while. Idiots in the news. Do you have it, Ms. Hooker?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. Authorities in Thailand arrested a man after he was caught climbing into the enclosure of the celebrity pygmy hippo.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. That thing is really cute, though. Have you seen him?

[Pat Godwin]

Really?

[Chick McGee]

I mean, he, he's, he looks like he hasn't entirely been born yet. Yeah, like, kind of gooey, right?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Officials at the Khao Kiao Zoo said that the Thai man allegedly entered the enclosure while a keeper was away and no other visitors were around. Security footage shows the man wearing a black bean sunglasses, a green tank top and brown shorts approaching Moon Ding and her mother, Jonah, while holding a tablet, apparently recording and taking photos.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, obviously he's doing a stunt for Tick Tock.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, social media, sure. He was inside the enclosure for a minute or two before staff noticed him. Police arrested the man.

[Tom Griswold]

They can't release his name. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's, that would be a hippo violation.

[Chick McGee]

Very nice. I can't believe I'm laughing at that.

[Tom Griswold]

Dang it.

[Jeff Oskay]

Mu.

[Tom Griswold]

Dang. But these are, these are like many. These are like the Shetland sheepdogs of the hippo world.

[Chick McGee]

There he is.

[Tom Griswold]

But still a pygmy.

[Chick McGee]

The pygmy part. Is that your key in this?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but you're exactly what he does look like. He hasn't been born yet.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, he's all gooey. Or he was just born.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there's a kind of a fetal look to it. Him.

[Chick McGee]

He does.

[Tom Griswold]

But I, I, I know that they say that the regular hippos are one of the most dangerous animals on earth. They kill more people.

[Jess Hooker]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

I would assume the mother of that little guy could do some serious damage.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. That just gives me the heebie jeebies.

[Chick McGee]

I don't like looking at the baby

[Tom Griswold]

pygmy hippo, but we get stories like this all the time. I can think, I can summarize it. Not every zoo is a petting zoo.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't get to go in and pet the lions for a reason.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But everyone you safe. Every once in a while some moron does this. And I mean, I'm sure if you run zoos now, they have to. In theory, you. You cordon them off to keep the animals in. But now they have to think in reverse.

[Chick McGee]

Man, is that fence up.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Keep Mother Nature in.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Exactly. How do we.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, man.

[Tom Griswold]

But what about it reminds me, of course, of this story. Pablo Escobar, the drug kingpin, died many years ago.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But his legacy lives on in the world of hippos. They call them Pablo Escobar's hippos. They're destroying part of the ecosystem in Colombia.

[Chick McGee]

So one of my favorite songs that

[Tom Griswold]

Pat does now you'll recall.

[Chick McGee]

I'm serious. I love this song.

[Tom Griswold]

He imported hippos are native to Africa.

[Jeff Oskay]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

He imported them to his country in South America. And they've taken over part of this river and it's really dangerous. There are more than 100 of these things now. And they're various ideas how to get rid of them.

[Chick McGee]

And they're he and a Sheehan. So.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there's more baby hippos and they're very dangerous. And by the way, this is true. Have you ever seen a. Have you been to the zoo recently and seen a hippo? They. They do a thing in which they spin their tails and they.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, it's like helicopter there.

[Chick McGee]

I thought that was. I thought that was rhino. Is that a hippo?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they kind of helicopter their poop as you ordered it.

[Chick McGee]

What does.

[Haywood Banks]

I hear they're hungry. Hungry.

[Tom Griswold]

Of course they're hippos.

[Chick McGee]

What. What animal did. Gave birth to Ace Ventura, if you will. That's the one who was.

[Jess Hooker]

I think that's a rhino.

[Chick McGee]

That's what I thought it was. A rhino that spins her tail and they.

[Tom Griswold]

By the way, the Ace Ventura rhino. We covered this the other day. The prop, the gigantic rhino, he comes out the butt in the movie that's up for auction.

[Jess Hooker]

That's hilarious.

[Tom Griswold]

And what they estimate it for 4,000. They think it'll go for 4 to 6,000.

[Jess Hooker]

Tom, get it for us.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I Think It'll go for 50,000?

[Chick McGee]

Buy us,

[Tom Griswold]

please. Some Hollywood guy, you know is going to want that in his bank.

[Jess Hooker]

Or not. A Hollywood guy and just some weirdo.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

But look what I'm doing.

[Tom Griswold]

You have a tribute to the imported hippos. Because they're talking about actually castrating the hippos and. Or using them birth control. Or even flying them to other countries, which would be very expensive.

[Pat Godwin]

It was a costly notion. Shipping hippos crossed the ocean. They flew me on a plane

[Chick McGee]

Though

[Pat Godwin]

they weighed many tunnies. Escobar had lots of monies from trafficking cocaine. Oh, I could tell you things. Oh, if this hippo talked, I'd sing. There were guns and guys were there to buy some blow. I could name names. He's dead, right, Pablo? Other hippos, they are twitch Waking. But my balls, they aren't waking. I've been neuterized, everyone. I came here for vacation. Now I'm looking at castration. Why am I so despised? Try and catch me, you bastards.

[Tom Griswold]

This is interesting. I was. What do you call a group of rhinos?

[Chick McGee]

Cloister.

[Jess Hooker]

A danger.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a group of rhinos.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, a crash.

[Tom Griswold]

A very good chick McGee crash.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And hippopotamus roughly translates to horse of the river.

[Jess Hooker]

That makes sense.

[Tom Griswold]

That's as bad as the manatees being mistaken for women. You got to be in a. You got to be in a ship for a long time to look at a manatee and go, she's out.

[Chick McGee]

See the ass on those things though? Come on.

[Tom Griswold]

I hope I can hold my breath for 10.

[Chick McGee]

Come on.

[Tom Griswold]

Now. I'm gonna get into that. So anyway, if you see a hippo, please stay out of the enclosure because they could kill you or spray you with their poop. They have kind of like a helicopter. It's really. It's true. They have this.

[Chick McGee]

It's a defense. Yeah.

[Haywood Banks]

They really do that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they spin their tails and you get like a fecal shower. Wow. Yeah, I just observed that. I observed that recently at the Cincinnati Zoo.

[Chick McGee]

The old fecal shower.

[Tom Griswold]

Fortunately, I was far enough away and I had on my shower cap. Thanks for joining us. Check out our new app and our new website. Bobandtom.com We've got the pop up store popped up and you can pop up a cool shirt or whatever. Heywood Banks tonight, Crown Point Theater, Elizabethtown, Kentucky. Heywood Bank Saturday, Gary Burbank Memorial Show, Newport, Kentucky. Sunday afternoon at Cincinnati's famous Funny Bone. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Haywood Banks (Podcast Promo)]

For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom Show Contest rules, go to bobandtom.rules. or just scroll down to the bottom of the page and see Contest Rules. This is the Bob and Tom show.

[Chick McGee]

The Musers the Podcast so why a Podcast?

[Tom Griswold]

Podcasting is very intimate. That's why I'm shirtless. Oh my God.

[Chick McGee]

Your weekly dose of absurdity and fun.

[Tom Griswold]

The things in life that we put up with simply because we don't get around to fixing them. And I let be a problem for much longer than it should be a problem because of the single problem of me. Yeah, I'm the problem at the center of my life.

[Chick McGee]

The Musers the Podcast Are we podcasting now?

[Haywood Banks (Podcast Promo)]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform.