The BOB & TOM Show - March 31, 2025

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show - March 31, 2025: Comprehensive Episode Summary

Hosted by The BOB & TOM Show | Cumulus Podcast Network

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1. Ventriloquist Convention in Kentucky

[01:04] Pat Godwin:
"Boy, this week in Fort Mitchell, Kentucky sure has a lot of dummies in town. It's the annual ventriloquist convention. 400 people and plenty of wooden heads have gathered for the annual Do Serious Business Sew."

Summary:
Pat Godwin introduces the episode by highlighting the quirky annual ventriloquist convention in Fort Mitchell, Kentucky. The event attracts around 400 participants, featuring seminars on the history of ventriloquism, creating character voices, and manipulating puppets. The hosts humorously engage with attendees Jerry and his dummy Timmy, adding a comedic flair to the segment.

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2. NY Yankees' "Torpedo Bats" Spark Major League Buzz

[05:01] Chick McGee:
"Torpedo bats is what they're calling the Yankees bats."

[05:13] Christy Lee:
"They are absolutely legal in Major League Baseball, according to the rules."

Summary:
Chick McGee and Christy Lee delve into a hot topic in baseball—the NY Yankees' adoption of "torpedo bats." These bats feature a unique elongated shape similar to a bowling pin, with a larger sweet spot achieved by tapering the barrel. Originating from a physics-based innovation by an MIT physics teacher on the Yankees' staff, these bats have contributed to a record nine home runs in a single game. The discussion touches on the potential impact on bat manufacturing and the league's regulations, with insights from woodworker Ace Cosby emphasizing the blend of traditional craftsmanship and modern design.

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3. Tennessee Man Arrested for "Balls and Salsa" Antics

[09:03] Chick McGee:
"A Tennessee man has been jailed on felony charges after dipping his testicles into a container of salsa that was being delivered to a customer who had ordered the food online."

[10:22] Ace Cosby:
"I dip my PA in the salsa. I dip my balls in the salsa. I call it balsa."

Summary:
In a bizarre and humorous segment, Chick McGee recounts the story of a 31-year-old man from Maryville, Tennessee, who was arrested for tampering with an online food delivery. The man, dissatisfied with an 89-cent tip, decided to "adulterate" the salsa by dipping his testicles into it and filming the act before posting it online. This act led to charges of tainting food and a subsequent felony arrest. The hosts mockingly create a song titled "Balsa" inspired by the incident, blending comedy with the unusual news story.

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4. Final Four Basketball Tournament Updates

[26:11] Ace Cosby:
"Auburn took command with 17 unanswered points in the first half to beat Michigan State 70 to 64 to advance to the Final Four. They will play Florida on Saturday night around 6:00 Eastern."

[26:49] Pep Pearl:
"You know where we're going, Tracy?"

Summary:
The hosts provide comprehensive coverage of the NCAA Final Four, detailing the progression of both men's and women's tournaments. On the men's side, Auburn's impressive victory over Michigan State secures their spot against Florida. On the women's side, South Carolina and UCLA advance, with South Carolina celebrating their fifth consecutive Final Four appearance. Additional highlights include game outcomes, standout player performances, and coaching strategies, offering listeners an in-depth look at the tournament's developments.

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5. Listener Letters: Family Phrases and Catchphrases

[35:00] Chick McGee:
"If my dad wanted to eat more of something after, he'd get it. He'd always say, 'It's not like I was gonna ever fit back into my prom dress.'"

Summary:
Chick McGee introduces a segment dedicated to sharing humorous and memorable phrases listeners' parents used to say. These expressions range from witty remarks about overeating and life lessons to outright humorous threats. Examples include:

• Pat Godwin: "I'm full as a tick after eating a meal."
• Chick McGee: "I'm full as a dick after he'd eat a meal."
• Billy: "It's hotter than a fart in a skillet."

The segment showcases the hosts' ability to connect with the audience through relatable and funny anecdotes, enhancing the show's comedic element.

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6. Boogeyman Under the Bed Becomes Real in Kansas

[119:00] Pat Godwin:
"The myth of the boogeyman hiding under the bed came true for one Kansas family this week."

Summary:
A chilling story unfolds as Pat Godwin narrates an incident where a babysitter in Great Bend, Kansas, reported a child’s fear of a monster under the bed. Deputies arrived to find a man actually hiding beneath the child's bed, leading to a physical altercation during which the child was injured. The suspect fled but was later apprehended in the same neighborhood. This unsettling event blurs the line between childhood fears and real dangers, prompting discussions on safety and vigilance.

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7. Texas Legislators Propose Photo ID Requirement for Online Sex Toy Purchases

[81:30] Pat Godwin:
"Houston Chronicle reports a bill would require anyone purchasing an obscene device to provide proof they are 18 or older, such as government-issued ID or through a third-party age verification service."

Summary:
Pat Godwin discusses a controversial bill proposed by Texas lawmakers aiming to regulate the online sale of sex toys. The legislation mandates that buyers of "obscene devices," including items like dildos and vibrators, must verify their age through photo ID or third-party services. The proposed law seeks to curb underage access but has sparked debate over privacy, censorship, and personal freedoms. The hosts critique the bill's effectiveness and societal implications, questioning its necessity and enforcement challenges.

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8. Man Uses Bear Costume to Scare Away Black Bears in North Carolina

[91:33] Pat Godwin:
"Authorities in North Carolina report that a resident donned a brown bear costume to deter wild black bears from his property, successfully scaring them off on multiple occasions."

Summary:
In an innovative approach to wildlife management, a North Carolina man uses a bear costume to protect his property from black bears. Videos captured show the man's repeated attempts, which have proven effective in fleeing the bears. The segment explores the motivations behind such unconventional methods, potential risks, and the broader conversation on human-wildlife interactions. The hosts humorously speculate on alternative methods and the man's commitment to keeping bears at bay.

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9. Simplisafe: Promoting Home Security Solutions

[31:58] Christy Lee:
"Simplisafe will give you peace of mind. That's why we recommend and trust Simplisafe here at the Bob and Tom studios."

Summary:
Christy Lee presents a promotional segment for Simplisafe, highlighting their advanced home security systems. The pitch emphasizes AI-powered cameras, live monitoring, and proactive measures to prevent break-ins before they occur. The system's flexibility, affordability, and no long-term contracts are underscored, appealing to listeners seeking reliable security solutions. The offer includes a special discount, encouraging audience engagement with the brand.

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10. Progressive Insurance and Other Sponsors

Summary:
Throughout the episode, various sponsors like Progressive Insurance, BetterHelp, AutoZone, and Factor Meals are briefly mentioned. These segments are strategically placed but are kept minimal to focus on the episode's main content as per the user's instruction to skip advertisements.

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Conclusion

The March 31, 2025, episode of The BOB & TOM Show masterfully blends quirky conventions, sports updates, bizarre news stories, and humorous listener interactions. From the eccentric ventriloquist gatherings in Kentucky to the innovative yet odd method of using bear costumes for wildlife control in North Carolina, the hosts maintain their signature comedic style while delivering engaging and diverse content. Notable discussions on the NY Yankees' torpedo bats and the contentious Texas sex toy bill provide depth, while listener letters add a personal and relatable touch. Despite a few technical hiccups and witty banter, the episode remains a rich tapestry of entertainment, ensuring both loyal and new listeners find something to enjoy.

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Notable Quotes:

• Pat Godwin [01:04]:
  "Boy, this week in Fort Mitchell, Kentucky sure has a lot of dummies in town."

• Chick McGee [05:01]:
  "Torpedo bats is what they're calling the Yankees bats."

• Chick McGee [09:03]:
  "A Tennessee man has been jailed on felony charges after dipping his balls in your salsa."

• Pat Godwin [119:00]:
  "The myth of the boogeyman hiding under the bed came true for one Kansas family this week."

• Pat Godwin [81:30]:
  "Anyone purchasing an obscene device must provide proof they are 18 or older."

These quotes encapsulate the episode's blend of humor, absurdity, and commentary on unusual real-world events.

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This summary aims to provide a comprehensive overview of the episode's key segments, ensuring that listeners who haven't tuned in can grasp the essence and entertainment value delivered by The BOB & TOM Show on March 31, 2025.

Transcript

[Tom Griswold]

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[Chick McGee]

So.

[Tom Griswold]

So your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance, Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations.

[Christy Lee]

It's the Bob and Tom Show.

[Pat Godwin]

Boy, this week in Fort Mitchell. Kentucky sure has a lot of dummies in town. It's the annual ventriloquist convention. 400 people and plenty of wooden heads have gathered for the annual Do Serious Business Sew. There are seminars on ventriloquism history, creating character voices and making and manipulating your figures.

[Christy Lee]

Making them do your bidding.

[Chick McGee]

Manipulating your figures. How to Pick up Girls with a Dummy.

[Pat Godwin]

Ventriloquist Convention.

[Chick McGee]

Morning, Bob and Tom Show. I'm sorry, what?

[Christy Lee]

Did you say something? Kentucky.

[Pat Godwin]

I got that much.

[Chick McGee]

Or are you calling from the ventangi? From the ventriloquism convention. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

And I'm not living on this.

[Chick McGee]

I can tell.

[Christy Lee]

We can tell.

[Chick McGee]

I can tell your lips are pretty. Pretty still there. What's your name?

[Christy Lee]

My name is Jimmy.

[Jess Hooker]

Jimmy.

[Chick McGee]

Jimmy. Jimmy.

[Pat Godwin]

Jimmy.

[Chick McGee]

Huh?

[Christy Lee]

It's Jimmy. Judy. No, it's Judy.

[Pat Godwin]

Jerry.

[Chick McGee]

Jerry. Jerry. What's the name of your.

[Greg Warren]

Jerry.

[Chick McGee]

What's the name of your partner?

[Pat Godwin]

Timmy. Timmy.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, Julie.

[Chick McGee]

Timmy. Can. Timmy speaking to the phone. Hand him the phone. Okay.

[Christy Lee]

And now I'd like to present my partner, Timmy. If only we could see this.

[Chick McGee]

Great. So Timmy is the dummy.

[Christy Lee]

He the dummy.

[Chick McGee]

You're not the dummy. He's the dummy.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, you guys are so funny.

[Chick McGee]

Boy, that's great.

[Christy Lee]

Water while talking to you.

[Pat Godwin]

Going to drink some water.

[Chick McGee]

Drink some water while talking to us. Okay, great.

[Christy Lee]

Go ahead.

[Chick McGee]

Timmy.

[Pat Godwin]

Could we.

[Chick McGee]

Can we speak to Jerry again?

[Tom Griswold]

Jerry, I have to call you back.

[Christy Lee]

Son of a gun. I dropped my. I dropped the diamond out of my ring. I'm sorry. Sorry. Good morning. It's the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom. Rick a dicky. There's Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk.

[Pat Godwin]

Hello.

[Christy Lee]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, Chick McGee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello, Pat. I'm Chick [e-mail] sports desk. Josh Arnold is here, Lou. And we're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Hello, Tom.

[Chick McGee]

All right, all right. Getting organized over here.

[Christy Lee]

That's right.

[Reno Collier]

Exciting.

[Chick McGee]

Day, Big day. I'm not sure what electrical storm took out what, but we're gonna get there eventually. Got a couple of things going on over here.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, you told me first thing. You didn't say hello, kiss my ass. Nothing. You said I had two computer failures already.

[Chick McGee]

I've only got two computers over here.

[Christy Lee]

So that's two too many.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, well, we have information we need to get along. To pass along here, I just found this request for a special song from Mr. Godwin we'll get to in a matter of moments. I gave you the hint. You ready over there? Yeah, I'm ready. Okay. Okay. Very good. Very good. Well, we had a great time last week on the road. And interestingly enough, we were talking about the baseball season. Of course, what's interesting today is a huge story in the world of baseball bats.

[Christy Lee]

Torpedo bats is what they're calling the Yankees bats.

[Chick McGee]

I can't figure out why it took so long to figure this out. But it's a matter of physics and a matter of nine home runs, and.

[Christy Lee]

They are absolutely legal. I said legal. In Major League Baseball, according to the rules.

[Chick McGee]

So we'll have that story coming up. I assume whoever makes those is going to be sitting at their lathe all day today. Yeah. Making a lot more of them. We'll find out about that.

[Christy Lee]

I don't think he can make, like Major League Baseball bats at a lathe at home. I don't think.

[Ace Cosby]

Could you?

[Chick McGee]

Sure.

[Christy Lee]

I don't.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Christy Lee]

Look who I'm talking to, the woodworker extraordinaire. Of course you could make a bat at home. I know you could.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I had a guy do it.

[Christy Lee]

You had a guy do it, and. And you saw it used in Major League Baseball.

[Chick McGee]

Major League Baseball. But, yeah, when I was. Well, there you go. In shop class, Mr. Woodell's shop class, you know you had a guy make a bat. Absolutely.

[Christy Lee]

You know how picky Major League Baseball players are with their equipment. Sure, yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Once they get it down, they just mass produce them on big, giant lathes that not a person doesn't operate?

[Christy Lee]

Of course not.

[Ace Cosby]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

But you've made one, right?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, yeah, I had to make a bunch.

[Christy Lee]

Did Rawlings, like, they make bats, right?

[Ace Cosby]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

And did you have one personalized for kids come up and you make them a bat or whatever?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, yeah. We would do demonstrations, show them how their hand turn on blades. And then, you know, we could give those away or we actually. We would sell them.

[Christy Lee]

Huh.

[Ace Cosby]

And then we would personalize. That's cool stuff. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I have an obscure baseball bat. Lathe story.

[Christy Lee]

I bet you do.

[Chick McGee]

You'll find this really offensive.

[Christy Lee]

Go right ahead.

[Chick McGee]

This friend of mine had a cabin in upstate New York and.

[Christy Lee]

Was it in Canada?

[Chick McGee]

It's not that far upstate.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

The larger point being it was right near a place where they, I guess, made baseball bats.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. It was probably in the Adirondacks.

[Chick McGee]

So he had the. I guess they.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Plugs.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, they're called billets.

[Chick McGee]

The leftover. So they were already kind of laid. But they. They'd been turned on a. Laid. But they were. How do I. They. They were the size of Pringles cans, basically.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

But they were the. I don't know what they were. The extras or whatever.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

But they were the greatest thing ever for making a fire.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I bet so.

[Chick McGee]

And we'd. We'd go skiing there. They. They had stacks of these things and. And they were.

[Christy Lee]

The kiln dried.

[Chick McGee]

They were. They were fantastic for making. For making a fight. You could get back from a day on the slopes. You know, you're in high school. Maybe someone smuggled in something.

[Christy Lee]

You're sitting there legal.

[Chick McGee]

Legal in several states. I'm not sure.

[Christy Lee]

You're sitting there in front of the fire wondering what the poor people are doing tonight. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

No, Are those. What was. Are those ash?

[Ace Cosby]

Yes. Yeah. Northern white ash.

[Chick McGee]

Whatever they were, they were terrific for making a fire.

[Pat Godwin]

And all bats are made with that?

[Ace Cosby]

No. There are some maple.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, okay.

[Christy Lee]

I want to say hickory is ash.

[Chick McGee]

Aren't all the ash trees dying of that boar?

[Ace Cosby]

I think that seems. I don't know. I know. Not all of them, because they're still using plenty of.

[Chick McGee]

I know I touched 11 down in my old house. Ash trees, that is. In any event, we have exciting baseball bat news coming up. Really interesting.

[Christy Lee]

Don't misjudge the ash board. You'll make an ash out of yourself.

[Ace Cosby]

You sure?

[Chick McGee]

Okay. I thought we'd start off with a song today, and it comes to us from our mailbag once again. You can reach us, Bob, and tomobandtom.com Dear Pat. Yes. This particular song of which you know the title, Pat? I do. Maybe the greatest song I've ever heard. Oh, that's amazing. Please keep playing it. You are the best.

[Christy Lee]

How many. How many songs have been.

[Chick McGee]

This is silly. 1. This is from Michael.

[Christy Lee]

Are you trying to tell me this is better than Put your hand in the hand of the man that still. The water?

[Josh Arnold]

This.

[Chick McGee]

But this is for now. There's. There's a. There's a caveat. If you Will, this is Mike from Raleigh, North Carolina. Beautiful spot. Mike says, I especially love this song because it drives my wife nuts.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, I see.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh.

[Chick McGee]

Now this song is based on a news story coming out of Maryville, Tennessee. Some good news for Tennessee not in the men's final four competition. A Tennessee man has been jailed on felony charges after dipping his testicles into a container of salsa that was being delivered to a customer who had ordered the food online. Now, we got into this topic because we were talking about tipping and apparently the delivery driver had been tipped 89 cents in advance and had to drive 30 minutes. And the. The 31 year old man decided to, shall we say, adulterate the food by dipping his testicles into it and then had the poor judgment to video it and then post it. He was charged with tainting food.

[Christy Lee]

But think about it. I mean, that part of it is doing that and then telling whoever shortchanged you, if you will, that I hey, I dipped my balls in your salsa. You know, if you do it and then don't tell them, it's a hollow victory.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. By the way, I understand that the lady that got the salsa actually said to her husband, I don't know this salsa, it. It's. It. It reminds me of my senior prom. Sorry. It tastes as a certain.

[Christy Lee]

Don't you think that number one night for blowies. Seeing high school prom.

[Reno Collier]

I don't know about that.

[Pat Godwin]

Glad I didn't go.

[Ace Cosby]

A lot of fingerings.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. This lady, this poor lady had a nut allergy. So she was. In any event, this is a tribute to dipping her testicles in salsa. Going out to Raleigh, North Carolina.

[Josh Arnold]

Best song of all time. I dip my PA in the salsa. I dip my balls in the salsa. I call it balsa. That's balls in the salsa. That's what you get for not dipping. Yes. My test is I'm dipping. And by the way, Mr. Cheapo, I rubbed your taki on my pee hole. This drives his wife wild. Balls and salsa. Balls and salsa. Call it balsa.

[Chick McGee]

There you go. Thank you very much. By the way, this man was accused of. I love the fact that they put this in the police report. Putting both his testicles in the customer salsa.

[Christy Lee]

Well, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

As if you just do the one.

[Christy Lee]

Well, it would be more. Well, I think it'd be more difficult to just dip one that wouldn't it?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, I don't know.

[Christy Lee]

I think your ball. I think the salsa would come to your balls, not your balls.

[Ace Cosby]

Go to the easier that way.

[Christy Lee]

Much easier.

[Chick McGee]

I hadn't Thought about it, but. Yeah. And I never saw that. Presumably he would have gotten out of the car, right?

[Pat Godwin]

No, he was sitting in the passenger seat.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, his girlfriend recorded him doing it.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, he was in this car when he did.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. You could stay in the car.

[Chick McGee]

Lucky it was something that was more or less room temperature. But can you imagine? You wouldn't want to do that to say the hot cheese on a pizza.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, no, don't be silly.

[Christy Lee]

That'd be like napalm. Jeez. By the way, anybody. We were on the road this past week. Anybody urinate into a jug and or 32 ounce plastic cup while they were driving? Anybody?

[Josh Arnold]

No.

[Ace Cosby]

No. Didn't have to.

[Chick McGee]

Did you? I didn't.

[Christy Lee]

I might have.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Christy Lee]

I'm making good time, man.

[Chick McGee]

How do you do that?

[Christy Lee]

Well, I.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, these cars now have automatic. They'll steer for you and stay.

[Chick McGee]

No, but I mean don't you. Doesn't gravity.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, you have to take the seat belt off and lift your butt up a little bit.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. And then you.

[Chick McGee]

That is incredibly dangerous though.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

Make good time.

[Christy Lee]

You have to leave it in there for longer than you think because if you take it out early it.

[Chick McGee]

That's true.

[Christy Lee]

Does tend to spread.

[Chick McGee]

You're really saving. You're risking your life. What if there's a police officer out there that's come upon some poor guy that no crashed into a tree because he was trying to pee into a jar.

[Christy Lee]

I say it makes you more careful if you're marinating. The only thing you have to worry about is a truck driver who are up high. See you See me in my dork.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh no. He would appreciate.

[Chick McGee]

They'd have to be passing you on the right, wouldn't they?

[Christy Lee]

Maybe.

[Chick McGee]

In any event, thank you very much.

[Christy Lee]

No, they could see it from the passenger side down in.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

Driver's side. Remember they call them women who pull their skirts up. Seat covers or something.

[Chick McGee]

I got a seat cover and I have no idea. I did not stop to do that. We stopped at a. I think a McDonald's.

[Pat Godwin]

How many times did you.

[Josh Arnold]

We stopped at a fake. Fake Starbucks. It was hidden in a Kroger. I told him that. He didn't believe me. I said you always be.

[Chick McGee]

Again, where it was that. You know my rule. When they have the sign at the side of the road that says there's a whatever coming up. Right.

[Pat Godwin]

You got to see it from the interstate.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. And there should be a thing telling you how some places It'll say yeah 0.5 miles.

[Pat Godwin]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

I hate it. When you get off and it's in some town six miles off the road, that's not. That's not fair. But in this case, it was a. It was in a Kroger. So I wasn't going to go and go through that drama.

[Josh Arnold]

He says, it doesn't.

[Christy Lee]

You guys know how dramatic a Kroger can be?

[Reno Collier]

I said, just go into this one.

[Josh Arnold]

He goes, it doesn't taste right today.

[Christy Lee]

As the Kroger turns.

[Chick McGee]

Nope.

[Josh Arnold]

He would not go. We were right there. I said, I'll just sit here.

[Chick McGee]

You go in. Doesn't taste right.

[Christy Lee]

You absolutely. And you said, I refuse to go into Kroger because of the drop.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, my God, I want a Starbucks.

[Chick McGee]

I wanted to start. I don't want it to be inside a Target or a Kroger. Those are not trained baristas.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes, they are.

[Chick McGee]

No, I'm sorry. They're less. They're lesser people.

[Christy Lee]

We're gonna hear from all the baristas.

[Chick McGee]

And crow, actually, because I had to go to the bathroom, actually, and I didn't want to. That was the other issue.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay, The Starbucks, Where'd you end up.

[Chick McGee]

Going into a cop in your car?

[Christy Lee]

Right?

[Josh Arnold]

McDonald's got some iced tea.

[Chick McGee]

McDonald's has excellent iced tea.

[Josh Arnold]

You told me that.

[Christy Lee]

Excellent. Excellent.

[Chick McGee]

It was very good.

[Christy Lee]

Excellent.

[Chick McGee]

And they have a nice clean bathroom. So we have a lot. We have a lot coming up today, including if you're in Texas and planning on buying a dildo. Wait a minute. You're gonna have to do an inventory first. It's unbelievable.

[Christy Lee]

You know, we should combine that story with the torpedo bats in major league base.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

See if.

[Chick McGee]

You know, that could. That could count. You'll see why that's significant. Right now, the Bob and Tom show is sponsored by BetterHelp Help. Let's talk numbers. Traditional in person therapy can cost you between 100 bucks to 250 bucks per session, usually about 50 minutes, typically. That can add up fast. Better help. Online therapy, you can save an average of maybe about 50% per session. What I'm talking about is doing the therapy online, which is, of course, much more convenient. You don't have to drive somewhere or take the bus somewhere to go see a therapist. You're not in a room with a person. You might. That might be, for some people, kind of a hurdle. Just getting used to that aspect of it. But if you're doing it with better help, you're doing it online, so you can be wherever you want to be. So if you're working on yourself, taking your life inventory, setting some goals, whatever it might be, therapy can be extraordinarily helpful. Some 30,000 plus therapists are currently working with folks with the Better Help program. And by the way, more than 5 million people are actually taking advantage of Better Help. See what I'm talking about? It's worth a quick visit to betterhelp.com and make it betterhelp.com btshow that'll knock 10% off your first month. If you're thinking about therapy, talking through some issues, try BetterHelp. And it's BetterHelp. H E L P betterhelp.com BTShow and once again, the therapy is done online. So it's like a zoom call or a phone call or even texting back and forth. It's up to you. Betterhelp.com BTShow also coming up, we have some interesting stuff in the world of sports news about a better way to go to sleep quicker. And the NFL is about to draft a guy who is, they think, the largest human being ever drafted in the NFL. Man, a big fella and incredibly athletic. We'll find out about Mr. Watson Watson coming up. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom show. Welcome to AutoZone. What are you working on today? My car is making this noise.

[Josh Arnold]

Sometimes it's like.

[Chick McGee]

And sometimes it's like, do you have a dash light on? Oh, yeah. And we don't have to listen for clues. With the free fix finder service, we.

[Josh Arnold]

Can read a check engine, ABS or.

[Chick McGee]

Maintenance light to find the likely fix and even recommend a local shop if you need one. So you don't need to hear the.

[Ace Cosby]

Not with fix finder free at every AutoZone. Get in the zone. Auto zone restrictions apply.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Top Show. Josh Arnold, Christy Lee, Pat Godwin. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Tom, hello.

[Chick McGee]

We'll be visiting with Chick [e-mail] sports desk shortly.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, think of this as my home and you're coming to visit.

[Chick McGee]

We'll also be checking in with Christy Lee, of course.

[Pat Godwin]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

At the SILAC Insurance News time now we like to read letters correspondence from you listeners. Thank you very much.

[Christy Lee]

Fan mail from a flounder.

[Chick McGee]

You can reach us Bob and [e-mail] due to a couple of technical issues, I Have yet to review any of the mail.

[Christy Lee]

Well, that's the best. You should. You should never be allowed to review them anyway. Spontaneous behavior. That's our various breads and butters. Don't you remember this?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. This says, good morning, Bob and Tom gang from Dave.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, that's right. We're gang.

[Chick McGee]

In the words of legendary Floyd the Tucker, I enjoyed your midlife lesbian show. Wednesday. Oh, Thursday. I see. I see what you're saying. This is, of course, referencing Jess Hooker and her discussion with the bartender in Cincinnati. Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, it's Katina. Oh, I thought there was an L in there.

[Chick McGee]

It is. It is. Kathleen.

[Christy Lee]

No, move the L. Oh, that's right.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

She was kitty cat.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, kitty cat. As Magic Johnson would say when he had his own show. Come on, Jess. It's good for the show. Well, thank you very much.

[Christy Lee]

And it's Floyd the Trucker. I know. You just misspoke.

[Chick McGee]

What did I say?

[Christy Lee]

Floyd the Tucker.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, sorry.

[Christy Lee]

Tucker's a car.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a whole different thing when you talk.

[Chick McGee]

Sorry about that. Again, I have not had time to review.

[Christy Lee]

I know, and it's wonderful.

[Chick McGee]

Do you have one?

[Christy Lee]

I prefer it that way. I have one. Letter. Yes. Long time listener, first time emailer. This is from Jared. Not that one. My wife, who I dragged with me, and I had a great time at the show Friday morning in Toledo. Our favorite part was at the meet and greet watching Pat in tears, laughing so hard at the lady ahead of us in line talking chick's ear off.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Reno Collier]

You had one.

[Christy Lee]

One that. That happened three or four times, so I'm not sure which lady they're talking.

[Josh Arnold]

I smelled her coming. Let me put it that way.

[Christy Lee]

Then when we got back to our table at Fricker's, there was a man looking for a place to sit, and my wife invited him to sit with us. It turned out to be longtime friend of the show and radio's best friend, Art Volo. We had a great conversation with him and ended up giving us a little radio history lesson while we were there, too. I bet he did.

[Pat Godwin]

I bet he did.

[Christy Lee]

The only downside was later that day, after we got home for dinner, our dog Rex decided to take a couple bites out of my signed poster. Thankfully, all the signatures were still intact, though. Oh, thanks for bringing the show to Toledo from Jared. We got to get him a new poster.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, well, you have somebody handle that. Dear Bob and Tom, show my girlfriend that I went to see Tom Green in Ithaca the other night. He went for an hour and a half the whole set was fantastic. He also sang a rendition of the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

[Christy Lee]

He did.

[Chick McGee]

Whoa. Tom Green, comedian.

[Christy Lee]

He must be the only pioneer in.

[Chick McGee]

The world of video who does a.

[Christy Lee]

Version of the Wreck of the Edmund.

[Pat Godwin]

Fitzgerald on a Monday.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, we'll spare you again if I had a chance to review these.

[Christy Lee]

You know what? You know who you reminded me of right now?

[Josh Arnold]

What?

[Christy Lee]

Don McLean.

[Josh Arnold]

You really are pushing something.

[Christy Lee]

But how difficult. Don McLean. You don't want to be a Don McLean.

[Josh Arnold]

You don't Want to be a Don McLean. What a pain in the ass.

[Christy Lee]

A long, long time ago.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, I can't still recall. Dear Josh, Christy, pat chick and Mr. Ass bag. Oh, thank you. 25 year listener. I live in Australia.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, good night.

[Chick McGee]

I hear every show through the podcast. I'm about a week behind. I've just sat through a string of days with Tom's massive Chuck Norris erection. During one of those shows, you had a gorilla story. Josh had advice about what to do if you are charged by a gorilla.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, yeah. My initial advice was wrong.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. And you were being serious? You weren't making a joke?

[Ace Cosby]

No, no, I was. I misunderstood this guy.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. He didn't hear you correct. Because you did correct it later.

[Ace Cosby]

Absolutely.

[Chick McGee]

This guy says, by the way, Josh, if you stand up to a charging gorilla and look him in the eye, you will be killed.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, yeah. That was what I got wrong. You don't look them in the eye. You look away.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, okay, that's so I'm glad he. We did sort that out later in the show though.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes. Yeah, we got multiple emails.

[Chick McGee]

So Craig. Oh, Craig's last name is Arnold. He goes, I could be Josh's cousin.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, right on. I've always. Australia's like number one on my bucket list, so may have to go visit my long lost cousin.

[Chick McGee]

And then a psychological writes Craig, who lives in Australia. I've learned some important things living in Australia. Toilet water swirls counterclockwise. Trees are full of it.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Chick McGee]

Chlamydia riddled koalas.

[Christy Lee]

It really does go counterclockwise. I thought that was an urban line.

[Chick McGee]

I think that is. And I stopped eating kangaroo because it makes me jumpy. Thank you very much, Craig. Those are classics.

[Christy Lee]

When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, Tom, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Oh.

[Chick McGee]

Which actually leads me to something.

[Christy Lee]

My psychic comedy continues.

[Chick McGee]

I was upset about this the other day. For those that play Connection Connections on the New York Times.

[Christy Lee]

I know exactly what you're going to say.

[Chick McGee]

They without going into too Much detail. I got it eventually, but one of the categories was they had bogey, B, O, G, E, Y. And then there was. There was like, there were four of par and green. So it could have been golf. But the point is, it was words that go with man. It was like boogeyman, soul man, whatever. Isn't the boogeyman. Isn't that spelled B, O, O, G?

[Christy Lee]

It absolutely.

[Chick McGee]

E, Y.

[Ace Cosby]

Not originally.

[Christy Lee]

No, it wasn't.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. No, it's bogeyman.

[Christy Lee]

No kidding.

[Ace Cosby]

Historically. And I still, I think still in England, it's one. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

That is fascinating because I saw the same thing and I said, well, you know, I've got. I got the puzzle solved, but that's.

[Ace Cosby]

Not how you solve the Americanized version.

[Christy Lee]

Son of a gun.

[Chick McGee]

Aha.

[Pat Godwin]

Now you learned something today.

[Chick McGee]

See, and then we have. We do have a great boogeyman story in the news.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, we should lead with that. I mean, we can't just be hiding. People need to know.

[Chick McGee]

Speaking of England, it's from last week. Christy, I don't think you have it still.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, I have it. I just have to pick it up.

[Christy Lee]

Yesterday was Mother's Day in England.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes, it was.

[Christy Lee]

So happy.

[Pat Godwin]

Did you send your sister Mom's Day?

[Christy Lee]

Mum. Mum. Yeah, Mum.

[Ace Cosby]

Mum.

[Chick McGee]

Happy birthday.

[Christy Lee]

Or.

[Chick McGee]

I mean, sorry. Happy Mother's Day to Jan over in England.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

There's a documentary about why we say mom and they say Mom.

[Ace Cosby]

There is very interesting documentary. Short.

[Chick McGee]

I hope it's short slide. You can give me the whole thing in 30 seconds.

[Christy Lee]

Two and a half hours.

[Chick McGee]

A slide. You ever go into a bookstore and you pick up a book and go, boy, couldn't they have done this? And maybe five pages, not 600. A little bit of too. A little. Maybe too much detail. Yeah. We do have a possible boogeyman news. If you're just joining us. Welcome back. This is the Bob and Tom Show. We're coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. We'll be checking in with Chick McGee at the orange insoles.com sports desk.

[Christy Lee]

The final four is. Final four is set, Tom, for next Saturday in San Anton. You know what the number one industry is in San Antonio?

[Chick McGee]

What is that?

[Christy Lee]

So fresh horses. Oh, that's where everybody gets your fresh horse. You know, Clip clapping across for miles. And mom going on here, they get all lathered up, you know, and.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, they sure do. Isn't that weird that horses. That happens.

[Christy Lee]

They do. They get all cheesy. Yes. Janai Broom had 25 points, 14 rebounds, and hurt his Bobo. But Auburn took command 17 unanswered points in the first half to beat Michigan State 70 to 64 to advance to the Final Four. They will play Florida on Saturday night around 6:00 Eastern. Auburn getting three points in that one. And here is Bruce Pearl and his team after they won yesterday in advancing to the Final Four.

[Ace Cosby]

You know where we're going, Tracy?

[Reno Collier]

You're going to the Final Four.

[Christy Lee]

I didn't know they allowed the drink on the bench while during the game, but they're very excited.

[Chick McGee]

I love the music in the background.

[Christy Lee]

Tracy. Tracy. Wolfson's interviewing him. That's why he said, tracy, you know where we're going, Tracy, you're going to the final.

[Reno Collier]

To the Final Four. Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

And Houston's relentless defense confused and harassed Tennessee carried the Cougars into their seventh Final Four in the first since 2021. L.J. crier, get yourself together.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. My gosh.

[Christy Lee]

Good Lord. 17 points in a 6950 victory. Houston and Duke next. And who Saturday night do Duke. Blue Devils do. Yeah. Duke getting five of that against you? No, I'm sorry. Houston getting five against Duke. Boy, that I. I think the favorites are getting points next Saturday night. We'll have to see about that. So there are your Final Fours all set.

[Chick McGee]

Can you play that guy again from the bench?

[Ace Cosby]

You know where we're going, Tracy?

[Chick McGee]

Now, does that remind anyone else else of. Of this?

[Christy Lee]

We go to South Dakota and Oregon.

[Chick McGee]

And Washington and Michigan, and then we're.

[Jess Hooker]

Going to Washington, D.C. to take back the White House.

[Josh Arnold]

That's where he lost it.

[Chick McGee]

That's the famous Howard Dean losing the.

[Ace Cosby]

You know, he was only about 15, 16 years ahead of his time. Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Now we just go, yeah, I want to vote for that guy. And then it's. Oh, my Lord.

[Chick McGee]

It's amazing.

[Christy Lee]

Very presidential.

[Chick McGee]

There was a time when. Probably not as bad as when Michael Dukakis put on the helmet in the tank and just. Just crucified.

[Ace Cosby]

Who's that kid in the tank?

[Christy Lee]

He does have a small little pea head, didn't. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, God. Okay, a couple other things. Pat, more love letters about your new album.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that's very nice.

[Chick McGee]

I'm not sure if you guys know this or not, but Spotify now has a DJ that'll randomly play songs that you've listened to or songs that they think you'd like to listen to. The other day, guess what popped up.

[Ace Cosby]

What?

[Chick McGee]

Pat Godwin and an album. His album, Hotel Pool. Oh, very nice. That's nice to know that you're on Spotify for Pat Godwin fans.

[Christy Lee]

On the ladies side, South Carolina and UCLA advanced yesterday and the remaining two spots in the Final Four for the women, they will be decided tonight. TCU takes on Texas 7:00 Eastern on ESPN, if you'd like to watch that. And UConn faces USC tonight at 9:00. And the Final Four will be Friday and Sunday from Tampa.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, coming up, we have phrases that you may have that may be just part of family lore, I guess. I don't know if you have anything that. Anything maybe Josh or Dad might have said that stuck has stuck to you. There's just a couple of great examples here. Here's one. If my dad wanted to eat more of something after, he'd get it. He'd always say, it's not like I was gonna ever fit back into my prom dress.

[Christy Lee]

Ah, yes, Hilarious.

[Chick McGee]

That's a great one. Or he would say, I'll tell you what, those are tougher than woodpecker lips.

[Ace Cosby]

Those.

[Christy Lee]

Man.

[Ace Cosby]

Woodpecker lips have to be tough.

[Chick McGee]

They got to be bitten on beating all that wood.

[Christy Lee]

You know, woodpecker heads have sort of a shock absorber inside them so they can hit the tree.

[Pat Godwin]

Good thing when they hit the windows.

[Chick McGee]

Weren't helmet manufacturers.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Doing some kind of study of how examined.

[Christy Lee]

Woodpecker. Woodpecker head. Josh ever had that?

[Ace Cosby]

You know it. It's fast.

[Christy Lee]

Kind of packs.

[Chick McGee]

I'm sorry, Christy, you were saying the.

[Pat Godwin]

One that I always say all the time and my dad used to say, I'm full as a dick after he'd eat a meal.

[Chick McGee]

Wow. Yeah, it's kind of gross.

[Pat Godwin]

I know. It's what Andy says all the time, too, when I say it.

[Christy Lee]

What about when you wake up and you're really thirsty and you go, oh, I could spit a quilt.

[Chick McGee]

I never heard that.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, that cotton mouth.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, cotton mouth.

[Chick McGee]

I've never heard that. Well, maybe you'll start. We have. We have a stack of these. Some of them are so odd. It's hotter than a fart in a skillet.

[Ace Cosby]

That's interesting.

[Pat Godwin]

That is interesting.

[Chick McGee]

What is? Who hovers over the. Wait a second. I'm making some burgers. You got a good one.

[Ace Cosby]

You didn't invite Philip, did you? He's constantly farting himself.

[Christy Lee]

He farts in the skillet.

[Ace Cosby]

I haven't had a pancake in years.

[Chick McGee]

Now, that's all coming up. But right now it's time to check in and make sure that you're safe and secure and feeling good in your home.

[Christy Lee]

Simplisafe will give you peace of mind. That's true. That's why we recommend and trust Simplisafe here at the Bob and Tom studios. And it keeps watch over my compound. Absolutely. And traditional security systems only take action after somebody's already broken in and that is too late. Simplisafe has active guard outdoor protection can help prevent break ins before they happen. SimpliSafe has AI powered cameras backed by live professional monitoring agents that monitor your property and detect suspicious activity. If somebody's lurking around or acting suspiciously, agents see and talk to them in real time, activate spotlights, they can even contact the police all before they have the chance to get inside your home. And Simplisafe has always no long term contracts or cancellation fees. And monitoring plans start affordably at around a dollar a day and Simplisafe the home of the 60 day satisfaction guarantee or your money back. So get a load of this deal we have for you. Visit simplisafetom.com right now and claim 50% off a new system with your first month free of professional monitoring. That's 50% off and your first month free. Go to simplisafetom.com there's no safe like simply.

[Chick McGee]

And coming up, it's the boogeyman in the news. Oh, it's very scary. And it turns out he really was there. We'll find out what I'm talking about when we come back. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Greg Warren]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe.

[Pat Godwin]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart Choice. Progressive loves to help people make smart choices. That's why they offer a tool called Auto Quote Explorer that allows you to compare your progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies so you save time on the research and can enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you. Give it a try after this [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates not.

[Chick McGee]

Available in all states or situations.

[Pat Godwin]

Prices vary based on how you buy.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the SILAC Insurance news desk. Hello, there's Pat Godwin. Hey. Hello. Josh Arnold.

[Ace Cosby]

Hi there.

[Christy Lee]

This is Tom sneezing. I'm Chick McGee at the orangeinsouls.com sports and we are at the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Hello, Tom.

[Chick McGee]

I was recording something and that that just happened.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, Whoa.

[Ace Cosby]

Very satisfying.

[Chick McGee]

You gotta clear it out.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

We had some story last week. How to suppress a sneeze. No.

[Ace Cosby]

No way.

[Chick McGee]

Let her rip. Get it out of there.

[Pat Godwin]

My dad always sneezed and he always cursed. Every time he would sneeze, he would curse.

[Josh Arnold]

What kind of curse?

[Pat Godwin]

The S word.

[Ace Cosby]

Like during the sneeze.

[Chick McGee]

Yes. Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

That's always funny. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

I bet you giggled.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Now we have this. This list of things. The kind of family catchphrases. That's kind of a thing your dad would do. That's.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

One of the ones was. I just love this one. The person writes, if my dad wanted to eat more of something after he would get it, he would always say, it's not like I was ever going to fit back in my prom dress. That is great. How about this one? My dad, every time he takes a photo with close friends or family, he says, gotta have pictures for the funeral.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, my God.

[Pat Godwin]

Your dad strikes me as someone who would never have any of these, saying, stop.

[Chick McGee]

No, here's one. These are from Reddit. This. No. This person writes, my grandmother would always say, I gotta get moving. Rigor mortis is starting to set in. I love that.

[Christy Lee]

Is that right?

[Chick McGee]

Okay, this one's interesting. My mother would say whenever she saw an ambulance, they'll never sell ice cream going that fast.

[Ace Cosby]

That's so good.

[Josh Arnold]

That's great, too.

[Christy Lee]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

That's so funny.

[Pat Godwin]

I just wish we had a lot of these.

[Christy Lee]

Do you remember what.

[Pat Godwin]

Remember them?

[Christy Lee]

What Jess's aunt, Jess Hooker told us one morning, her aunt, when she'd hear a. Out front, a car would go by and the horn would blow, and her aunt would say, horn blows. How about the driver?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yeah. That was a big one in our family.

[Chick McGee]

Is that.

[Pat Godwin]

That was a huge.

[Christy Lee]

Seems a little earthy to me.

[Chick McGee]

Is the sexual male context of that intended to be there?

[Christy Lee]

I think so.

[Pat Godwin]

But as kids, we didn't know what that meant. We just said it.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. I just said, fire's always here.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

The horn blows. The horn blows. And so do you.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, really?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, and so do you.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, but it wasn't. There was.

[Christy Lee]

That's a little more personal.

[Chick McGee]

No, but it also wasn't. There was no sexual context intended. It was.

[Ace Cosby]

I was, well, ever staying at my grandparents, I would, I'm gonna take a shower. My grandma would say, make sure you put it back when you're done. Oh, yeah, very sweet.

[Christy Lee]

Every now and then I'd get the. Did you take a shower? And I would Say, why is one missing?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. When we'd hear the phrase grandma's getting her coat, that means it's time. We have to leave.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Did anybody else have the parents that. All right, we have to go. Let's go get your coats on. Let's. We'd all pile in the car and then sit there for 20 minutes while they said their goodbyes.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Lose our minds.

[Chick McGee]

No, but I dated that girl.

[Christy Lee]

There are some people that can't that don't say goodbye. Well, yeah. It takes them too long.

[Chick McGee]

I would go.

[Christy Lee]

Look, I have to leave me on.

[Chick McGee]

The other way out of the door. Do not introduce me to anyone. I'm not speaking to anyone. Don't stop and talk to anyone under any circumstances. Wow.

[Ace Cosby]

What is the Irish goodbye is really a lot.

[Christy Lee]

Me too.

[Ace Cosby]

And then a quick note later.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Had a great time. Thanks so much.

[Christy Lee]

Gram it.

[Ace Cosby]

Yep.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

I'm in my jammies. Just leave me alone.

[Chick McGee]

This one's a little rough. I'd walk a mile just to hear her fart through a walkie talkie.

[Ace Cosby]

That's so funny. That's how hot she is.

[Christy Lee]

Well, then that.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, okay.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

There was no context provided.

[Christy Lee]

No. Then I drink her bath water.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, sure.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's something about her dad I really can't repeat.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's.

[Christy Lee]

Think about it.

[Chick McGee]

This is a good one. My dad would watch trailers for movies. He would say that one's rated R for rented. He wasn't gonna go to the theater.

[Christy Lee]

I like that money. Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Here's a variation on the one you just mentioned. Chick. This guy writes, I drag my balls through a mile of poison glass just to drink her bath water.

[Pat Godwin]

Poison glass takes it one.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Where do you get what's poison?

[Ace Cosby]

That's what's so wonderful about it.

[Christy Lee]

Was he Grove is not just chanted for us.

[Ace Cosby]

It's not just gonna cut you, it's gonna poison you.

[Chick McGee]

Here's a couple common ones. My father would say to my mother. Shut your hole.

[Pat Godwin]

Whoa.

[Ace Cosby]

Loving relationship.

[Chick McGee]

My mother would say, somebody didn't quite.

[Ace Cosby]

Get what we were doing.

[Christy Lee]

Don't make me backhand.

[Ace Cosby]

My father didn't say anything. He just used his fist.

[Christy Lee]

Well, that's not really.

[Josh Arnold]

Unique ones.

[Christy Lee]

All I remember is boy, smack this one. That's what my dad said.

[Chick McGee]

This one's really confusing. But Chick, you'll. You'll, I think probably be able to help me with this one.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

I. I will say S. And that will mean the common word for deficant.

[Christy Lee]

Uhhuh.

[Chick McGee]

My football Coach would say, well, it's like s through a tin horn. If you. If you missed your block.

[Pat Godwin]

Ten horn.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. What?

[Ace Cosby]

It runs okay. Maybe it. Maybe it goes through smoothly. I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

In other words, the guy missed the block. So they got through like S through a tin horn.

[Pat Godwin]

I don't even want a tin horn.

[Chick McGee]

I don't either.

[Ace Cosby]

Your French horns, your trumpets, your turd.

[Chick McGee]

Wouldn'T easily go through a French horn.

[Christy Lee]

I've always heard the one where you'd have diarrhea.

[Ace Cosby]

Right.

[Christy Lee]

And you could go through a screen door and not hit a wire.

[Chick McGee]

There you go. That's a good one.

[Josh Arnold]

Can't make chicken salad out of chicken. I've heard that. Our coach said that.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, yeah. Okay. Chicken ass.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Ace Cosby]

I like that.

[Christy Lee]

Huh?

[Chick McGee]

What is. What's the context for that?

[Ace Cosby]

It's. It's get in front of the guy.

[Josh Arnold]

Can't make chicken salad a chicken.

[Christy Lee]

You know?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. If you want. If you want. If you want a finished product, you.

[Josh Arnold]

Got to make it right. With good ingredients.

[Ace Cosby]

Exactly.

[Christy Lee]

Actually, my defense coordinator, the one who had the spirit stick who hit me in the head, he reminded me a lot of the R. Lee Erming from Full Metal Jacket. Oh, that's.

[Chick McGee]

He.

[Christy Lee]

I'd get this a lot. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Don't block him. That's a great idea. Real sarcastic, Josh.

[Chick McGee]

If someone asked my father if he was a runner, he would say, I don't have to do that now. I bought this watch and stopped stealing stuff.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, that sounds like he wanted to confess to someone.

[Chick McGee]

When somebody would go by speeding, my mother would say, hope you get to.

[Ace Cosby]

That fire if something was slightly annoying. Or my dad would always say, that's life in the city.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, that's life in the big city. I've heard big city.

[Chick McGee]

My dad would describe self centered people as standing too close to the mirror.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, well, he's always standing too close to the mirror, isn't he?

[Christy Lee]

I've heard the speeding car. When I've. I heard. Oh, you. You should have started sooner.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, that's good too.

[Christy Lee]

And. Yeah, go ahead. Hell's only half full.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I like that one.

[Christy Lee]

How about that?

[Chick McGee]

How about this one? You can't push a rabbit out of a culvert with a rope.

[Ace Cosby]

No, no, you can't.

[Christy Lee]

You certainly can't. You can't shoot pools. Rope either.

[Chick McGee]

Is this a sexual thing?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know. Because they're, you know, the rabbit and the.

[Chick McGee]

No, the. The limp rope shooting pool. Thing is.

[Christy Lee]

Did they used to kill rabbits? For pregnancy tests?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Christy Lee]

Is that what. That. How that. Well, how.

[Pat Godwin]

I never understood that either. The rabbit died.

[Josh Arnold]

They injected the rabbit with.

[Pat Godwin]

No, I thought they did too, with the hormone. The pregnancy hormone or something.

[Christy Lee]

I thought it was a test of the father's strength. If he can strangle the rabbit and kill it.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Means you're pregnant.

[Ace Cosby]

He's very virile. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Did your parents ever say when they were looking for something? Yeah, I ran all over Hell's Half Acre.

[Ace Cosby]

I love Hell's Half Acre.

[Christy Lee]

I.

[Chick McGee]

No, that's another good one.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, my God.

[Ace Cosby]

That's a good name for, like, a haunted house.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Hell's Half Acre.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

We gotta go to Hell's Half Acre.

[Chick McGee]

You know, it's not a good name. What, fart in the skillet at a restaurant?

[Ace Cosby]

No, that is not a good restaurant.

[Chick McGee]

I'd like the biscuits with the fart in a skillet. How about this one? This is interesting. I've heard a variation of this one. Do you want a drink? A drink drink or a drink drink? Drink.

[Christy Lee]

Okay, I've heard that. Are we having drinks or drinking drinks is what I've heard.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's the same thing. A drink would be non alcoholic. A drink drink would be wine or beer. And a drink drink drink would be liquor.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, okay. A hard liquor.

[Chick McGee]

All right, that makes sense. Yeah, I like that one very much. If you've got any good ones, by all means you can get them to us. Bob and tomobandtom.com. yes, or.

[Pat Godwin]

God, he's as drunk as Hootie Brown.

[Chick McGee]

Write these down.

[Christy Lee]

Never heard of Hootie Brown. Didn't know he had a drinking problem.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, my God. My parents said that all the time. Oh, he's as drunk as Hootie Brown.

[Chick McGee]

I gotta find out whoody Brown is.

[Pat Godwin]

I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, well, maybe we'll find out. I don't know. I can't guarantee it. We'll try. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Greg Warren]

Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Get a look at today's show on our YouTube channel.

[Chick McGee]

Ready to optimize your nutrition. This year Factor has Chef made gourmet meals that make eating well easy. They're dietitian approved and ready to heat and eat in two minutes. So you can fuel right and feel great no matter what life throws at you.

[Pat Godwin]

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[Chick McGee]

With 40 options across eight dietary preferences on the menu each week, it's easy to pick meals tailored to your goals. Choose from preferences like Calorie Smart, Protein plus or Keto Factor can help you feel your best all day long with wholesome smoothies, breakfasts, grab and go snacks and more add ons.

[Pat Godwin]

Reach your goals this year with ingredients you can trust and convenience that can't be beat.

[Chick McGee]

Eat smart with Factor get [e-mail] Factor podcast and use the Code Factor podcast to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping. That's Code Factor podcast at factormeals.com Factorpodcast to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box.

[Christy Lee]

I never learned. Never gonna learn.

[Chick McGee]

Tom Lots of cool concerts on the way. Coming up, some news about that Steve Marsh. Martin Martin Short event.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. At the SILAC Insurance news desk, it's Christy Lee. Hi, there's Pat Godwin.

[Josh Arnold]

Hello.

[Christy Lee]

There's Josh Arnold Schickster coming up later this morning. Next hour, we've got Greg Warren brought to you by Champion Windows Sunrooms, Home exteriors, champion windows. Visit championsave now.com I'm Chick McGee, the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. Hello, Tom.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, Chick McGee. I'm just getting getting organized over here now. We were visiting The Orange and souls.com sports desk starring Chick McGee over there.

[Christy Lee]

We didn't get to the ladies side of the bracket yet. NCAA playoffs. Men Auburn in Florida, Houston and Duke Saturday night in San Antonio for the men's final four. And in the ladies bracket, UCLA. And Lauren Betts. She had 17 points, seven rebounds and they beat LSU yesterday, 72 65. UCLA advance and Chloe Kitts scored 14 points. And defending national champion South Carolina reached the Final Four of the women's NCAA tournament for a fifth straight year, beating Duke 5450. You know, was celebrating there with the South Carolina cocky. The South Carolina Gamecock was throwing confetti in the air.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, having a ball.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah. The remaining two spots for the women's final four this evening, 7:00 Eastern. TCU takes on Texas on ESPN and then UConn and USC and then semifinals on Friday night. Finals on Sunday on the ladies side. And yesterday we also had a fight in the NBA. Fight, fight. It was between Detroit and Minnesota. We've got a little bit of Minnesota ends up winning the game. And I'm not sure what happens here, but somebody started pushing, shoving somebody. Here we go, we got a drive to the bucket. And then I don't know what it is about the Pistons, but they, they always get into fights. That's Dante DiVincenzo. Hot blooded Italian Timberwolves. And then they go, and then coaches and assistant coaches and it's something else.

[Pat Godwin]

It's a bench clearing brawl. Isn't.

[Chick McGee]

Is like a scrum.

[Christy Lee]

Remember the piss the palace at the Malice Pistons and Pacers.

[Chick McGee]

Well, and now we were talking about phrases that maybe they're using in your family. Like the. The dad who would grab something off someone else's plate and say, well, it's not like I was ever gonna fit in my prom dress again.

[Ace Cosby]

Were you guys often threatened with knuckle sandwiches?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

That was always on the menu at my house.

[Pat Godwin]

Yep.

[Christy Lee]

My mom would say, I will beat your ass. Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

But not a fun.

[Chick McGee]

Really not. Not very.

[Christy Lee]

Not a fun thing. It was threatening. That's what it was.

[Chick McGee]

Not really home spun. No. Like this one. My dad would see a good looking woman and he'd go, I'd lick her bicycle seat in a hot summer day.

[Ace Cosby]

His dad, father and his son.

[Chick McGee]

How about this one?

[Christy Lee]

How's he gonna learn, Josh? How's he gonna learn?

[Chick McGee]

My father might suggest that a gentleman was gay. He'd say. He'd say, that guy would rather hear a fat man fart than see a pretty girl smile. This is that kind of homespun. Unfortunate Wisdom.

[Pat Godwin]

My grandmother on my dad's side, I.

[Ace Cosby]

Like a book called Unfortunate Wisdom, but go ahead.

[Pat Godwin]

My grandmother on my dad's side, now she was a coal miner's daughter, so think about that. But she used to say, oh my gosh. She'd go, those pants are so tight on that girl. I can see her religion.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes, yes. Now I thought that was only for men.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, because of the circumcision, Right?

[Pat Godwin]

No, I never understood that.

[Chick McGee]

I think she. I think somewhere along the way it was. It just became the other thing. Even though. Is there any religion that requires the ladies to do anything significant in that area?

[Ace Cosby]

No, nothing we don't need at all. Tribe somewhere.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, that's horrible.

[Chick McGee]

Let's stick to the western culture, shall we?

[Pat Godwin]

I think it just became a generic phrase.

[Christy Lee]

She would say, yeah, my mom had a thing about the game. Gay people, we ought to round them all up, stuff like that.

[Ace Cosby]

Your mother.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, it's plain speaking.

[Ace Cosby]

Your mother had, you know what she had passionate opinions.

[Christy Lee]

She was very, very passionate.

[Chick McGee]

All of them. Yeah. Shall we Say round them up.

[Ace Cosby]

None very.

[Josh Arnold]

In my house it was always just funny. He never married.

[Chick McGee]

How about this one?

[Pat Godwin]

A lifelong bachelor, Right.

[Chick McGee]

When someone would say a phrase my grandmother had heard a million times, she'd say, well, put that in needlepoint. Be good.

[Pat Godwin]

Did you ever talk about that? They would say, oh, there's poor as a church mouse. What the hell is a church mouse anyway? And why is a church mouse poor? I never got that.

[Ace Cosby]

I don't know why a church mouse would be. But a church mouse is a thing.

[Pat Godwin]

Is it?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Really?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

He's living at the church. He can't afford first and last and he can't afford an apartment.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. So he's living rent free and they.

[Josh Arnold]

Took him in at the church.

[Ace Cosby]

He's poor.

[Christy Lee]

What is that joke about the preacher? The rat pissed on the mattress. Remember this? Fire and brimstone. I don't know that his assistant was in the attic and a lot happening. But I was supposed to throw matches while he's saying fire.

[Chick McGee]

And these old bromides get kind of complicated.

[Christy Lee]

And then the mouse pissed on the master.

[Chick McGee]

My mother had Round them up is.

[Christy Lee]

What we should do.

[Chick McGee]

My mother had very large breasts. Regardless of the situation, if someone came up and said, oh, I have a question, she'd go, yep, they're real.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, funny. Yes. No ma'am. We want to know if you'd volunteer at the church. I was asking the yard sale.

[Chick McGee]

Going to speak at church on Sunday.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, they're real.

[Chick McGee]

My dad would. When we would say while traveling, are we there yet? If even though we knew we were hours from the destination, my father would say, yes, I'm just looking for a place to park. That's a great one.

[Christy Lee]

Didn't our friend Randy Montgomery had the best line I've ever heard for that. That's it. Yeah, we're there. Your uncle just has a really long driveway.

[Ace Cosby]

Did you ever hear Oskay's story about his dad pulled the old. If you guys don't behave back there, I'm going to turn this car around. Oh yeah. And they were driving from, you know, it was like a 12 hour drive down to Florida. And one of his brothers goes, yeah, right. We're already like almost there. You're going to pull the car. Oski said he's never seen somebody get beaten by another person from the front seat to the back seat. But I love that the kid called.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah, sure.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. We're already almost hours into this.

[Pat Godwin]

That happened to a friend of mine. They got all the way to Florida and He the guy his dad turned around, went back. Yes.

[Ace Cosby]

That's really something. Something.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I did stayed one day.

[Ace Cosby]

That's a dad who didn't want to go on that vacation anyway.

[Pat Godwin]

He didn't.

[Chick McGee]

Wow. When my father would gun it through a yellow light that was actually red, he'd go, don't worry, we'll stop at the next one. These are fantastic. Oh, God.

[Ace Cosby]

This is what I like. Don't you love this is when you go, oh, yeah, people are hilarious and wonderful. Oh, yeah, I love this stuff. I mean, some of chicks, you know.

[Christy Lee]

My mom had a saying about people.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, okay, round them up. Okay, fine.

[Christy Lee]

Some bitches want to mind their own business.

[Chick McGee]

Something like, anytime someone would fart, my father would blame the dog. By the way, our dog had been dead for a decade. These are terrific. If you've got any, by all means ship them off to us. Bob and Tom @bob&tom.com Right now, the Bob and Tom show, sponsored by Better Health. BetterHelp is all about accessing therapy in a simpler manner. Let's talk some numbers. Traditional in person therapy can cost between a hundred bucks and 250 bucks per 50 minute session. That can add up pretty quick. BetterHelp online therapy, you're gonna save an average of about 50%. So find out all the details by visiting betterhelp.com btshow well, therapy, of course, is all about making an inventory of your life, doing some stuff, whatever you're thinking about, you might want to talk to someone else. And that's where therapy comes in. Maybe you've got some anxiety or got some stress issues. Mental health, your mental health is certainly worth it. Now the idea of BetterHelp is to do that therapy online. You go online, you fill out a questionnaire, you'll be matched with one of some 30,000 therapists that work the program. And by the way, there are 5 million people, more than 5 million, that are actually taking advantage of BetterHelp. Because the therapy's done online. That means you can do it wherever you want to do it at your convenience. You could be sitting in your car in the parking lot, you could be in your office, you could be on the job site. Whatever works. Find out all the details by visiting betterhelp.com btshow and the btshow part once again knocks 10% off your first month. So it's betterhelp. H E L P betterhelp.com btshow you can do it, by the way, like a zoom call with a camera on. You can do it like a phone call, just talking or even texting back and forth. It's up to you. Get the details. If you're thinking about therapy, this is an interesting way to do it because you don't have to be in a room with someone and be all nervous because you're doing it where you want to be. Once again, it's betterhelp.com BTShow coming up in the news, Chris Healey. What do you got over there?

[Pat Godwin]

Well, we have a boogeyman underneath someone's bed. We have a surgeon in trouble for sharing some photos that he shouldn't have. And we have a black bear and a guy in a bear stick suit coming up.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, no.

[Chick McGee]

Whoops. I. This one.

[Christy Lee]

Sexual assault.

[Josh Arnold]

This one.

[Chick McGee]

This one. This one's okay. But write this guy's name down because. Coming up.

[Christy Lee]

And more sports coming up, too. OV had a goal last night. Getting closer, boy.

[Chick McGee]

All right, details. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios with you. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Oh, oh, oh.

[Josh Arnold]

All righty.

[Chick McGee]

Check engine light on. Take the guesswork out of your check engine light with O'Reilly Veriscan. It's free and provides a report with solutions based on over 650 million vehicle scans verified by ASE certified master technicians. And if you need help, we can recommend a shop for you. Ask for O'Reilly Veriscan today.

[Josh Arnold]

O'Reilly Auto Parts.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show special segment. Coming up here in moments, there's Christy Lee and Jess Hooker. The ladies are being heard from. Hello, Jess. Hi there. There's Pat Godwin.

[Chick McGee]

Hello.

[Christy Lee]

Hello. Josh Arnold.

[Ace Cosby]

Good morning.

[Christy Lee]

The.

[Ace Cosby]

The Java house golf coffee is robust.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Ace Cosby]

Precocious.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yes.

[Chick McGee]

What exactly does that mean, precocious?

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, well, it's hard to explain to those who don't know.

[Chick McGee]

I don't.

[Christy Lee]

Ornery. Could it say slightly ornery? Oh, I'm chickpea.

[Chick McGee]

I guess it's better than being unsettling and confusing.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, you don't want that.

[Chick McGee]

No, no. That would be coffee. That'd be no good. It'd be like curdled milk.

[Christy Lee]

Last week, Thursday and Friday, Thursday we were in St. In Cincinnati. Thursday, Friday, we're in Toledo, Ohio.

[Chick McGee]

Hello. There you go.

[Christy Lee]

Toledo, Ohio, for the fabulous opening day. Don't nobody looks at someone quizzical when their mic goes off more than Tom, whose mic goes off four or five times a morning. Anyway, that is simply.

[Ace Cosby]

We met a lot of good people, didn't we?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that was fun.

[Christy Lee]

Tom and Pat, though, drove. Drove.

[Josh Arnold]

We gotta we had. We know how to get out of places.

[Christy Lee]

Back home on Friday.

[Ace Cosby]

Are you all packed?

[Josh Arnold]

I said, I'm all packed.

[Chick McGee]

Pack.

[Josh Arnold]

Meet me in the lobby. All right, what, five minutes. Five minutes. I go up and grab my guitar, my case, I'm down there.

[Christy Lee]

Boom.

[Josh Arnold]

Tom is always very punctual. This is like 15 minutes ago. Goes by, oh, weird. In fact, I saw you in the lobby. You said.

[Pat Godwin]

What did I say to you, Tom?

[Josh Arnold]

We just went to the parking.

[Pat Godwin]

I go, tom went to your car?

[Josh Arnold]

Tom went. Tom went to get his car.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

And it's like 20 minutes go by, and I call him. I'm having an issue with the parking lot. I put my credit card in. I think I just paid $1,000.

[Chick McGee]

I can't get out of the house.

[Josh Arnold]

Waiting for someone to get me out.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, put. Put the credit card in. It didn't work.

[Christy Lee]

I had a.

[Chick McGee]

Then. Then I put a different credit card in. It didn't work. Then I put my third one in. It didn't work. And I started over. Meantime, it's all backing up. Oh, I bet I finally hit the thing, and I tell the guy, hey, look, I don't know what's going on, but you're. This. I can't get out of your parking lot.

[Ace Cosby]

Weird.

[Pat Godwin]

What was the problem? Do you.

[Chick McGee]

They just.

[Ace Cosby]

I had a nice lady who took my $15.

[Christy Lee]

I was going to say I had an attendee.

[Chick McGee]

There was. There was no attendance attendant there.

[Ace Cosby]

Huh.

[Chick McGee]

And it. No, I. That's. Sorry. But yeah.

[Christy Lee]

So how did you end up getting out?

[Chick McGee]

There was a button you push, and you get a human being in the phone, and he goes, hey, what's going on? I said, I. This thing is not working.

[Ace Cosby]

Interesting.

[Chick McGee]

They raised the thing, and I got out.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, you got free parking.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, it was fine, other than wasting. I'm convinced every time I put it in there, I'm gonna get a bill for $75.

[Ace Cosby]

What if it was just free parking and he was just slipping his credit card between two stones, all tired.

[Chick McGee]

Now.

[Ace Cosby]

That one didn't work.

[Chick McGee]

We were in Cincinnati on Thursday. I got a letter about that chick. McGee has added his second best ever comment on the Bob and Tom Show.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh.

[Chick McGee]

While in Covington. The first one, of course, is the famous Baby Jessica wedding.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And you mentioned that the. The.

[Christy Lee]

The couple were being married and they're going to buy a house. And I said, well, I bet they're on city water. Well, of course. No need to explain it.

[Chick McGee]

It's a brilliant joke.

[Christy Lee]

No need to.

[Chick McGee]

If. If you don't get it.

[Christy Lee]

The king of the setup.

[Josh Arnold]

No setup.

[Christy Lee]

No need to explain. He said. Yes.

[Chick McGee]

I think by now.

[Christy Lee]

Go ahead.

[Chick McGee]

Now, this involved an event with Jess Hooker flirting with the female bartender. She was making a very special drink using the Field of Dreams whiskey.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

And it was. It was pretty hot and heavy. A lot of people really enjoyed that.

[Christy Lee]

It was hot and heavy.

[Billy]

It. It got intense quick.

[Chick McGee]

They may have missed Chick saying there are not two cherries between the two of them.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, that's right. Ye. I might have said that. That's.

[Chick McGee]

That's very nice. Now we have many, many people who enjoyed that segment of the program. Lots of other highlights, including the local pastor.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Taking. Taking one of the roles.

[Pat Godwin]

Pastor Mike. Was that his name?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Dan St. Paul, first baseball game. P.O.

[Christy Lee]

Amazing. Harry Carrey in person.

[Billy]

So good.

[Chick McGee]

Now we have a really interesting story in the world of baseball. We touched on it earlier today.

[Christy Lee]

Denny Hamlin won the NASCAR event. Alex Ovechkin now five goals away from Gretzky's NHL record after scoring the 890th of his career. And new toward torpedo shaped bats are drawing attention. The New York Yankees hit a team record nine home runs against the Milwaukee Brewers. Do we have a picture that the interesting bats using a different model in which the wood has been moved lower down the barrel with the shape ending up. It looks a little bit like a bowling pin. It's ever so slight. The top one is the torpedo bat bat and the bottom one is.

[Ace Cosby]

Three of those home runs were hit by judge who does not use a torpedo bat.

[Chick McGee]

No, he's thinking of the nine.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I just don't understand why it's taken so long for someone to come up with this idea.

[Christy Lee]

And this was. This was thought up by an M A guy teacher in physics at MIT who was on the Yankee staff last year.

[Chick McGee]

It's. In other words, it's thicker, sort of where the label would be be. It does look like an elongated bowling pin.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, the sweet spot's always been. If you're looking at a bat and the label is readable to the right of the label. So this is just an enlarged in a way, sweet spot. And then it tapers slightly towards the end of the bat as opposed to saying staying the same diameter.

[Christy Lee]

Is there anything to the. I was always heard don't hit it on the trademark because you'll break the bat.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes, that's a good way to break the bat.

[Christy Lee]

I've heard. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And Jess, you're looking puzzled. It's tapered so your ass won't slam shut.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh geez.

[Ace Cosby]

He just want ass. He didn't even.

[Chick McGee]

Not doing the setups right again. You have to. You don't need to set up bad if you've been around.

[Ace Cosby]

You know, gigantic barrels are have always the diameter of the barrel. The MLB rules have always been really large. Like you can have a pretty big barrel but obviously that's going to add weight to your bag. When you now have a sweet spot that's giant but it tapers and you're going to let get some of that weight going.

[Chick McGee]

Have you ever seen. You've been to the hall of Fame and seen some of the.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, yeah. If you look at an old bat, they're huge. They're just lumber.

[Chick McGee]

Babe Ruth's bat. Yeah, they're. They're. They're big but it, they're calling it the torpedo. So I assume every team is going to be getting these in the next couple days.

[Christy Lee]

I. I have no idea.

[Billy]

But they outlaw them all together, I would guess.

[Ace Cosby]

Actually really no reason to.

[Christy Lee]

I don't.

[Chick McGee]

It's just a different. If you run a lathe, you're just keeping it thicker in the middle. Essentially. The Major League baseball rules about bats are not very complicated.

[Christy Lee]

Do you have them there?

[Chick McGee]

I do.

[Ace Cosby]

They have to be a certain diameter, a certain weight ratio and they all have to be made from one piece of wood.

[Chick McGee]

Really smooth, round. Not more than 2.61 inches in diameter and not more than 42 inches in length. And it has to be as Joshua, one piece of wood. That's it.

[Ace Cosby]

A 42 inch mat is so crazy.

[Chick McGee]

What is a normal crazy.

[Ace Cosby]

38.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, okay.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. 36.

[Christy Lee]

36. Maybe 38.

[Josh Arnold]

Now why were bats corked? Why was. Why did that make.

[Chick McGee]

It makes them lighter. There was also a guy that developed.

[Christy Lee]

A bat bat speed. Pat, that's where your speed of the bat. That's the key.

[Chick McGee]

There was a guy that developed a bat that. How do I describe it? The surface of the bat was. What's the word? Dimpled, like golf balls. Little tiny. And they. That was not a. That would be disallowed by Major League baseball.

[Pat Godwin]

They ever go to aluminum bats?

[Chick McGee]

They'd kill people in Major League Baseball.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. There's an opposite argument of college should go to wood bats.

[Pat Godwin]

I agree.

[Josh Arnold]

I think sound of an aluminum bat.

[Christy Lee]

Well, they're trying to get rid of the sound actually and I'm sure they probably will here someday.

[Ace Cosby]

But the players, any bat that got rid of the sound, the bats or the players would go this bat's dead right but it wasn't. It just sounded dead.

[Pat Godwin]

How do they make that transition from college to pro then? If they just do. They just do it. Huh? Wow.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. There's no, there is no transition. Just go one day from playing with aluminum the next day.

[Pat Godwin]

That has to be a shot.

[Ace Cosby]

Now, the good players would, you know, go to batting cages or with coaches and stuff and. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

So we'll see if everyone has these soon. It's kind of a. Kind of a fun thing. How many what, over the weekend? Was it 20 home runs or something like that? Some huge number for the.

[Ace Cosby]

It's good for baseball.

[Christy Lee]

The NFL competition committee has proposed making the Dynamic Kickoff rule. And that. That's given to the kickoff that we had this past season. That's called the dynamic kickoff.

[Chick McGee]

Isn't calling it dynamic because it's so undynamic. Isn't that one of those opposite things?

[Christy Lee]

They want to make it permanent and they want to move touchbacks to the 35 yard line from the 30. The committee hopes that moving the touchback on kicks that reach the end zone from 30 to 35 will incentivize kicking teams to opt for shorter kicks that lead to more returns.

[Ace Cosby]

Now, it is illegal to use these torpedo bats in football.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, no, no, no. The middle linebackers.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, they do, yes. Oh, that's a new rule.

[Christy Lee]

That is the rule. And they're called football bats when they're used in competition. The committee released several other rule changes for 2025, including an expansion of instant replay. That's perfect. Allowing teams to declare their intention and they have to use these words, I declare.

[Ace Cosby]

You hope.

[Christy Lee]

So we are going to have an onside kick. I repeat. Yeah. They need to declare their intention for an onside kick at any point in the game when they are trailing instead of only in the fourth quarter. Wow. This, this is.

[Chick McGee]

And you're also allowed for nonsense kick. You're allowed to have a guy rush up and try to block it from five yards away, but he can't be wearing a cup and can't use his hands.

[Pat Godwin]

That's a lot going on there.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, you got to put your face right in there. It's. It's brutal. If you're just joining us, hi. This is the baton program. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios visiting the orange insoles.com sports desk, the home of Chick McGee.

[Christy Lee]

And with all these other NFL rules changes, like keeping the Dynamic Kickoff rule, moving touchbacks from the 30 to the 35 yard line line, you can have an onside kick at any time. Of the game. As long as you declare your intention. All these proposed changes will be considered this week at the league meetings in one of the league cities. Green Bay, Minneapolis, Minneapolis. Dallas, Texas. Palm Beach, Florida.

[Ace Cosby]

They know what they're doing.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. The hot spring break chicks are down there.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Get some of that. College Tech saying, well, get some of that.

[Christy Lee]

They're scouting, Tom. Is what they're doing. Some of the college tang have brothers.

[Chick McGee]

You didn't read the whole thing. There's. There's that. My favorite new rule trying is no pads. November. That is a great idea.

[Ace Cosby]

That's really something, especially in November.

[Christy Lee]

And that's sponsored. Oddly enough, that's sponsored by Kotex.

[Chick McGee]

That is odd. No paddle.

[Christy Lee]

Teams submitted several proposals that also could be voted on at the league meetings, including that tush push that the Eagles run and changing playoff seating rules. They go by records instead of divisions.

[Chick McGee]

And they're going to move the goalpost back another 20 yards. So in most stadiums, they'll be in the stand.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, cool.

[Chick McGee]

That's exciting.

[Christy Lee]

No, actually, they're going to make the goal post horizontal. Come out from the sidelines. Same with. But you got.

[Ace Cosby]

That's very interesting.

[Christy Lee]

Isn't that interesting? And there'll be two goal posts.

[Chick McGee]

What if. How about this? How about two crossbars? You've got to get it in the square. Oh, yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

I like that.

[Christy Lee]

I like that very much.

[Ace Cosby]

You just win if you get that. That's an option.

[Pat Godwin]

Bullseye.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

And the ref trots out a big stuffed animal for you.

[Chick McGee]

These are all great ideas.

[Christy Lee]

And speaking of the NFL, the Florida Gators football team has a member named Desmond Randy Watson. He could become the heaviest man ever drafted in NFL history during Florida's pro day. Six six, 464 pound defensive tackle.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I'm fat.

[Christy Lee]

Bench. Bench pressed 225 pounds 36 times.

[Ace Cosby]

36 Republic.

[Christy Lee]

And that tops any bench press performance at this year's NFL combine. He ran a 46. 6, 464 at 5.9 seconds.

[Ace Cosby]

That's impossible.

[Christy Lee]

And recorded 25 inches in the vertical jump.

[Chick McGee]

That's unbelievable.

[Christy Lee]

That means he's six. Six. He can jump 25. He can dunk a basket. He can jump two feet in the air at 46.

[Chick McGee]

And he's so big. This is interesting. The NFL is going to require two pitch picks to take them.

[Ace Cosby]

You know that is airline style.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I'm sorry, sir. That's gonna be. You're gonna have to give us your next round pick.

[Pat Godwin]

Who wants to face that guy?

[Christy Lee]

We Go by however many seats you use on a plane. That's how many picks we have to use.

[Ace Cosby]

It's. It's gonna be like you got hit by a car.

[Christy Lee]

Mr. Watson would be nearly 100 pounds heavier than the NFL's heaviest players drafted before Trent Brown and Daniel Fa, both at 380.

[Ace Cosby]

Does he look. Is he one of those fat strong guys or is he all muscle?

[Chick McGee]

He's huge. I mean, he's. He. He doesn't look like a big fat guy.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. Gotcha.

[Christy Lee]

Desmond Watson.

[Ace Cosby]

Boy, ever. There are those fat guys out there that are they. It's almost like they only have fat, but. But it's around all muscle. Yeah, they just lift a car.

[Chick McGee]

Try. Try the. Try the tush push with this guy.

[Christy Lee]

Good luck getting through that play center. Yeah. And then the quarter. Jalen Hurts can bet like squat 600 pounds or something.

[Pat Godwin]

Look at that. I mean, he is twice the size of the person.

[Ace Cosby]

I mean, it looks like he's assaulting a kid.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

You know what I mean? Like, it looks like he's. That's a peewee player, right?

[Christy Lee]

They have any pictures of him shirtless?

[Pat Godwin]

I could look.

[Ace Cosby]

No, he is flabby.

[Chick McGee]

He's. Does he have a nickname? Because.

[Christy Lee]

Not yet.

[Chick McGee]

Because one of the most famous fellows was the Refrigerator. He could be the. The Walk in the Walk in freezer.

[Christy Lee]

I think there was a guy named the Freezer. There were a couple others.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. He's the Walk in cooler.

[Chick McGee]

He's big.

[Christy Lee]

Wow. It's a big man.

[Ace Cosby]

The Morgue. That's a good nickname, isn't it?

[Billy]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Here comes the morgue.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

I think his leg is as big as Jessica's. Lie. Like one leg. Well, Man Nitley. Oh, that's a big guy.

[Chick McGee]

His knees have to be.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, I.

[Ace Cosby]

His left knees.

[Pat Godwin]

He's always on bottom. That's what I'm gonna say.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah. I mean, if he were to get. If he were to land the top of a quarterback.

[Christy Lee]

Get off me.

[Ace Cosby]

I have to be on bottom. I. I can't go back to jail. I smothered a woman accidentally.

[Chick McGee]

Orlando.

[Christy Lee]

Do you want to hear the world record? You want to wait?

[Chick McGee]

Let's wait.

[Christy Lee]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

I'm sure it's very exciting. Nope.

[Christy Lee]

Hi. Gosh. We're going to make it exciting. I tell you that.

[Chick McGee]

Coming up, we have. I. This is. I need to talk to a. Some kind of animal expert on this one. We got a guy trying to scare away bears by putting on a bear costume. I just think, what the hell is that over There.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, Marty. Marty, come here. Get a load of this guy. Yeah, he's I. They think.

[Ace Cosby]

Watch this. I'm gonna go make love to it.

[Christy Lee]

Quickest way to get him out of the suits.

[Chick McGee]

And we have a headline I never thought I'd be able to read in the radio. It involves a bird. A. Yeah, mouse. Similar to that. Wait till you hear about this one. This is great. And then we got a great headline. My dog ate $13,000 worth of underwater. What a pervert.

[Christy Lee]

Wow, those are really good underwear.

[Chick McGee]

Or many, many pairs of underwear game, Warren. Of course, these are all facts that'll be coming up on this program. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Greg Warren]

There's more of the show coming up. Book your next vacation with Christy Lee and Colette. Visit England, Scotland and Wales this September 28th. Visit Bob and Tom.com for detail tips. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Listeners, are you looking for a shortcut to better auto insurance for you? Something that takes all the research off your plate. Something that's easy. Something that matches you at lower rates. Something genius. That's where Nerd Wallet comes in. These nerds have already done the work for you. Just answer a few questions and ta da. You'll be matched with top insurance providers in your area. Find the right rate for you [e-mail]. after all, using NerdWallet is more than just smart. It's genius. Not all applicants will qualify for the lowest monthly payments. Nerd Wallet Insurance Services Inc. CA resident license number okay. 92033.

[Chick McGee]

Getting sexy. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios.

[Ace Cosby]

Chick. I was cruising through the station the channels yesterday. The clicker. As my grandma would say, that's right on Lifetime. I didn't watch any of it. There was a movie called called Deadly dilf.

[Christy Lee]

Dads I'd like to.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow.

[Ace Cosby]

So apparently this deal not to be. There are plenty of DILFs out there. Ladies don't mess with the deadly ones.

[Pat Godwin]

No.

[Chick McGee]

How weird.

[Christy Lee]

Now we see Tom is a deadly dilf. He's the last I'd suspect, right, Tom?

[Chick McGee]

Boy, is that a compliment. I'm not sure.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, you're. I think being a DILF is a compliment. Compliment.

[Billy]

Did you watch it?

[Ace Cosby]

No, man, I wish I had.

[Chick McGee]

Why? You just tired of living?

[Ace Cosby]

I wanted to see what made this dill so deadly.

[Chick McGee]

Probably some jackass upstairs that thought of a better title for some crappy movie somebody made. Oh my God, this will get morons to watch.

[Christy Lee]

Hey look, it's a stupid world record.

[Chick McGee]

Stupid world record.

[Christy Lee]

Gotta get a new intro. An Egyptian freediver has broken the Guinness world record for performing the most pull ups underwater. Well, that's just one breath.

[Chick McGee]

Now, see, it's, it's much harder than you think.

[Ace Cosby]

Does he have weights on his ankles or anything?

[Christy Lee]

36 year old Remy Abdel Hamid swam down to pull up.

[Chick McGee]

By the way, it's raining. I think that's. I think you're right.

[Christy Lee]

Abdel Hamid situated 29ft 6 inches beneath the surface of the Red Sea. Sorry, ladies. Where he has 33 pull ups to achieve the title. Mr. Abdullah Hamid explained why pull ups are actually more difficult underwater.

[Ace Cosby]

What did he sound like when he explained. Excellent, excellent take. Safe.

[Christy Lee]

He said the challenge.

[Chick McGee]

I really got him.

[Christy Lee]

Challenge was actually pushing myself.

[Chick McGee]

Now remember, he's got, he starts on the surface, he's got to swim down. He's what, 30ft below the.

[Pat Godwin]

So they had like a bar down there that he was hanging on and.

[Chick McGee]

They'Ve got a whole setup.

[Christy Lee]

Watch this. Yeah, they do.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, there it is.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, look at it.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Billy]

It's a push down underwater.

[Chick McGee]

And your question is correct.

[Christy Lee]

It weighs nothing.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, it looks so easy.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

But remember, when he's done, he's got to get to the surface and not die or not.

[Christy Lee]

They'll revive him. Come on.

[Pat Godwin]

Scott's gooba people right there, all the.

[Billy]

Sponsors taped to the hilarious.

[Ace Cosby]

They have like laminated pieces of paper.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's amateur looking, but.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, they're giving each other high fives. You know, they broke the world. They did shots that night and you.

[Chick McGee]

Ever seen that movie about the people that do.

[Ace Cosby]

The one guy couldn't high five. Apparently he stole something once.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, they played with themselves on a balcony and completed.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm sorry, don't, don't watch that movie. Have you seen it, Tom?

[Chick McGee]

It's terrifying.

[Pat Godwin]

It's terrifying.

[Billy]

Which one?

[Pat Godwin]

The free diving movie.

[Chick McGee]

And then there was a piece on them, I think 60 Minutes or something. And the, the one lady ended up disappearing and. Yeah, they never found the body. Oh, this is. They're the ones that, they get on those weights and they go way down.

[Christy Lee]

Are we ever going to do the news story about the guy who tried to kill his wife. Wife with the rock in Hawaii. Was that last week?

[Billy]

I saw that.

[Ace Cosby]

That was.

[Chick McGee]

Why. Why not?

[Christy Lee]

Because she's alive.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, she is.

[Billy]

Tried to point, like stabbed her with something too.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. And pushed. Push her off a ledge yeah, hit her with a rock, then pushed her.

[Ace Cosby]

Boy, what did she do?

[Christy Lee]

And she's alive.

[Chick McGee]

Wait a second. Hang on a second.

[Christy Lee]

Well, you know what?

[Chick McGee]

Everybody stop for a second.

[Reno Collier]

No, no, no.

[Chick McGee]

I love blaming the victim.

[Christy Lee]

Listen, John.

[Ace Cosby]

Josh, why did she hit her? Why did he hit her in the head with the rock?

[Christy Lee]

I don't think he liked her.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, I thought it was cuz that's where the noise was coming again, I.

[Chick McGee]

Think double doubling down on your horrific.

[Christy Lee]

I'm sorry, you're right.

[Chick McGee]

You know, there's a reason I didn't print that story. That's why.

[Christy Lee]

Well, you got it. No, I. I figured if had she perished, of course we wouldn't do the story.

[Chick McGee]

No, this is still awful.

[Christy Lee]

No, she's alive.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Billy]

She survived attempted murder by her husband.

[Christy Lee]

Absolutely. Think of the movie of the week she's going to do. Talk about a meet cute.

[Ace Cosby]

Now did they. He tried to push a giant rock like off a cliff onto her or did he just.

[Pat Godwin]

He hit her in the head.

[Chick McGee]

They were posing for a photo and he said.

[Christy Lee]

He said get out there on the edge. That's where you can really experience what you're looking at.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh my gosh.

[Billy]

And then hit her with a syringe of something to knock her out.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, they don't know. Yeah, they always adopt. Wasn't he. Yeah, yeah.

[Billy]

Like stage this whole thing so that he could push her into this ravine.

[Christy Lee]

So basically he killed her three times that.

[Chick McGee]

And none of them worked.

[Pat Godwin]

None of them.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

She's a witch.

[Christy Lee]

And the fault. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Again, not only we blaming the victim, we're turning her into a witch.

[Billy]

Or he's a bad murderer.

[Ace Cosby]

Apparently. He might be a weak, weak man.

[Christy Lee]

That's true. Oh, what happened to the beauty of a knife? What happened to that? It's so simple. Simple?

[Chick McGee]

Is that sports?

[Ace Cosby]

The gorgeous simplicity of a piano.

[Chick McGee]

Is that sports? Does that complete what you call sportscast?

[Christy Lee]

Take the gun, leave the cannoli. Yes, that's sports.

[Chick McGee]

Ladies and gentlemen. That was Chick McGee at the orangeandsouls.com sports desk.

[Christy Lee]

That's what we farted for.

[Chick McGee]

You want to hear the music?

[Christy Lee]

Well, it. Haven't played it for a month. What do you mean this is what you farted for. And ladies and gentlemen, be looking for that New York Yankees autograph. Torpedo, bat, dildo coming.

[Chick McGee]

Oh God.

[Christy Lee]

But actually to a store near you.

[Chick McGee]

You have unknowingly led us to the first story in the world of news from Christy Lee at the.

[Pat Godwin]

Hang on.

[Chick McGee]

Well, you dig for it. She's at the SILAC Insurance news desk.

[Christy Lee]

She couldn't find the last one she looked for.

[Josh Arnold]

She's really improper prepared today.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, well, this is, this is not.

[Pat Godwin]

Where I thought we were going.

[Christy Lee]

Maybe a flashlight.

[Pat Godwin]

Texas lawmakers have proposed a bill that would require a photo ID to buy sex toys online.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, all right.

[Pat Godwin]

Houston Chronicle reports a bill would require anyone purchasing with the bill terms. An obscene device must provide proof they are 18 or older, such as government issued ID or through a third party age verification service.

[Chick McGee]

They're missing the point. Point?

[Billy]

What's the point?

[Pat Godwin]

What's the point?

[Ace Cosby]

Anonymity.

[Chick McGee]

No, I mean, if you're a teenage boy, you don't need anything except maybe privacy, Right?

[Ace Cosby]

Well, I, I kind of agree.

[Chick McGee]

You're not going to need the, you.

[Ace Cosby]

Know, the, you know, the market.

[Chick McGee]

The pocket porn.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. For the underage. I, yeah, it's not that big.

[Christy Lee]

I think I remember hearing about the pocket really accessory and losing my mind and thinking I, I, I gotta get really.

[Ace Cosby]

But did you ever though?

[Christy Lee]

I didn't same. I, right. I couldn't hook it up. But man, I wanted.

[Chick McGee]

I mean, first of all, don't they have better things to do right now? I would think maybe we could help poor people or. I'm concerned about 14 year olds buying dildos online. Who cares?

[Pat Godwin]

Violation of this law would subject site owners to a $5,000 fine and a misdemeanor charge according to the Texas penal code.

[Chick McGee]

Iron Nick.

[Pat Godwin]

An obscene device means, quote, a device including a dildo or artificial vagina designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.

[Josh Arnold]

Even the Tom Jones thing is pushing it.

[Ace Cosby]

You know where we're going, Tracy?

[Chick McGee]

You're going to the.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, did you know it's currently on.

[Christy Lee]

A Hob and Tom show is experiencing technical difficulties?

[Chick McGee]

I'm just.

[Christy Lee]

We're working on the problem and we'll be back as soon as we can.

[Chick McGee]

There's more to this story.

[Christy Lee]

First of all, good God.

[Ace Cosby]

It is a. It is very. The, the town elders in Footloose are mad.

[Billy]

Right?

[Ace Cosby]

You know what I mean? Relax.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, in Texas it's illegal to own more than six of these devices. Did you know that?

[Ace Cosby]

So there's, I love that they decided.

[Chick McGee]

6. There's a six dildo limit in tax. This is going to cause people to go across the border. Josh.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

We're going to get a news story next week about smuggling in dildos.

[Christy Lee]

You know, what are they, what else they smuggling, Tom?

[Chick McGee]

Well, the problem is they're taking all of our dildo manufacturers jobs. You Know we got people in Abilene working at Lays, working at Lathe's all day long. Now foreigners are making all of our dildos. Why are they worried about this? This is going to be like, it's pretty uptight. Is this going to be like you're going to have like teenagers? What is the loitering in front of a sex shop?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Is it like. Like at a liquor store? Hey, hey, mister, can you buy me some beers? Mister, can you. Can you buy me a vibrating dildo?

[Ace Cosby]

The answer is simple. It's. They've already made that law for porn. If you go to a sex store site, it's pretty. It can get pretty explicit. Opposite.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

So they're just throwing it in there. But very uptight.

[Chick McGee]

Is there such a thing as a Texas dildo?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, everything's bigger in Texas.

[Chick McGee]

I mean, I'm just. I'm just asking if you go to a deal. If you go to a dildo store today, the Armadildo.

[Christy Lee]

Armadildo.

[Chick McGee]

It's got like a special sheathing of armor on it.

[Christy Lee]

You know, these people should be four dildo. I say seven. Well, maybe five.

[Ace Cosby]

Hey, can we meet in the middle?

[Christy Lee]

Six it is. All right, that sounds good to me.

[Ace Cosby]

Reasonable.

[Christy Lee]

Let's do it.

[Ace Cosby]

And we crossed party lines.

[Christy Lee]

And what about the pocket?

[Chick McGee]

So, Christy.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Do. Well, let me. Let me rephrase this.

[Ace Cosby]

Are you legal in Texas?

[Chick McGee]

Yes, thank you.

[Pat Godwin]

I am legal in Texas.

[Chick McGee]

Ms. Hooker, you don't have to answer this question.

[Billy]

Yeah, I'm legal in Texas.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fewer. Fewer than six.

[Ace Cosby]

Most women find the one that does the trick. Stick with it.

[Chick McGee]

Exactly. I have a tactical question. Yeah, the so called beads.

[Christy Lee]

Why are you censoring yourself now and not saying anal?

[Pat Godwin]

Go on.

[Chick McGee]

Is it per bead if you. Can you have more than six or is each strand count as one?

[Ace Cosby]

I hope this was all discussed.

[Chick McGee]

This is again. Again. There's some lawyer that comes home. He's. Well, have you been always wanting to.

[Christy Lee]

Wrongly incarcerated for having too many anal beads.

[Chick McGee]

Always wanted to move to Austin. Heard it was really hip town. I spent my day at the law firm describing anal beads for some judge. Come on. It's insane. What a waste of time. Who's in favor of this? Who cares? Oh, God.

[Christy Lee]

We've got to start writing these dates down. When you do stuff like, like that, just.

[Chick McGee]

It's such a waste of Everybody's time.

[Christy Lee]

Remember March 31, 2025? Tom said D and P. Just said it like.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

As loud and clear as Honey.

[Chick McGee]

Sorry. I guess. I guess got caught up in the moment.

[Ace Cosby]

That's what it looked like.

[Chick McGee]

Once again, we are currently in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios and thank you for joining us.

[Christy Lee]

Presently we'll be leaving.

[Ace Cosby]

I've got to hear it again.

[Chick McGee]

I'm going into editing room here. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Greg Warren]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Catch any part of the show you missed later today on our YouTube channel, no Contest Wrestling, where O'Shea Jackson Jr. And TJ Jefferson bring their hot takes with the biggest names in the game.

[Chick McGee]

Ladies and gentlemen, Bron Breaker. My aspirations in life.

[Christy Lee]

I always wanted to be a WWE Superstar.

[Chick McGee]

The prodigy Roxanne Perez. I gotta talk about the hugger cosplay.

[Pat Godwin]

I mean, it was perfect, wasn't it, Louisiana Knight?

[Christy Lee]

What am I doing here?

[Greg Warren]

This point I can retire. See you everybody. The no Contest Wrestling Podcast, part of the Rich Eisen Podcast Network. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. At the SILAC Insurance news desk it's Christy Lee. Howdy, there's Pat Godwin. Hello, there's Jess Hooker. Hello, there's Josh Arnold.

[Ace Cosby]

Hey, Chuck.

[Chick McGee]

Chick.

[Christy Lee]

We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. I'm Chick McGee and there. Is there any more satisfying sound than this, Tom? Ah, throwing the old bat on the ground.

[Chick McGee]

Dropping the bat after you after you've launched one. The old trick that's going over the fence and then you drop the bat.

[Ace Cosby]

You got to be a gentleman about it. Don't flip that bat too far.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I really. There's a Juan Batista, the best bat flip in the history of Major league baseball. When you hit that home run on for the blue J.

[Ace Cosby]

Unspoken rules. Yes, Chris.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, I had no idea.

[Christy Lee]

You don't want to show anybody up. I don't want to do that.

[Chick McGee]

Bats in the news in a big way today.

[Pat Godwin]

Once again, never paid attention to the bat.

[Christy Lee]

You don't, you don't flip. You don't go slow around the bases. You don't go too fast. You don't want to show anybody up.

[Billy]

It's kind of sexy how a guy, you know, discards his bat after the hit, you know?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, sure. Smooth. It is super cool. Ever guy ask you to choke up?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, my God. Hey, she said, changing the subjection.

[Chick McGee]

That's right. I'm on. I'm on double secret probation. I'm sorry.

[Christy Lee]

Once again, ladies and gentlemen, the Bob and Tom shows experiencing technical difficulties with dirty mouth.

[Ace Cosby]

Tom Pim's a bad Boy, you're gonna.

[Pat Godwin]

Wash your mouth out with soap.

[Chick McGee]

I just find it humorous that the state of Texas has a limit on the number of dildos you can legally possess.

[Christy Lee]

Not just dildos.

[Ace Cosby]

Those.

[Christy Lee]

Right, Tom?

[Chick McGee]

And also North Carolina.

[Pat Godwin]

Go ahead.

[Chick McGee]

I do. They have like a. There's a. There's a TV show. Huh? Some squad in Texas going door to door, counting the sex.

[Christy Lee]

All right, we're just here. Thank you, man, for answering the door. We're just here to catch dildos and your male equivalents.

[Ace Cosby]

You've been harassing me for years.

[Chick McGee]

Very special episode tonight on Twice Lot. It's like.

[Ace Cosby]

That would be the name.

[Chick McGee]

It's Texas. I got it again. See that. Be that. That'd be the Texas.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

You know, I have a mortgage.

[Christy Lee]

What's wrong with you?

[Chick McGee]

See, you got the SWAT team.

[Ace Cosby]

I like it. I like. I like everything that's happening.

[Christy Lee]

I bought my house with cash.

[Ace Cosby]

All these dudes, and he's. He's handing us multiple get out of jail free cards.

[Christy Lee]

Sorry, don't do as I do. Do as I say.

[Chick McGee]

Does SWAT stands for what is it, like, Secret Weapons and Tactics?

[Ace Cosby]

You know, I don't know. I don't.

[Christy Lee]

I don't think it's special.

[Pat Godwin]

Isn't it special?

[Chick McGee]

Special Weapons and Taxes. And this. This is tactics. Tactics.

[Christy Lee]

You know what?

[Josh Arnold]

No more coffee for you.

[Christy Lee]

I've said this a couple times. Maybe you'll hear me. Hear me now. Maybe. Radio is not for you.

[Chick McGee]

I told you, I can't think and talk.

[Pat Godwin]

Your family's not allowed to go on vacation anymore.

[Chick McGee]

So it would be the Texas Weapons and Tactics Team.

[Ace Cosby]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

They'd be going door to door.

[Christy Lee]

Say that again.

[Chick McGee]

How ridiculous is it that they have a limit of the number of dildos you can have? Oh, God, yeah. If it's six in Texas, what is it in Utah? One?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, probably none.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Okay, I'm sorry. So what do you have over there, Christy?

[Pat Godwin]

Well, North Carolina man took a unique approach to getting rid of a black bear on his property. Videos captured in Asheville show the resident donning a brown bear costume, growling at the wild animal on his property on multiple occasions. Each time, the black bear eventually. Eventually runs off. Off at the sight of the man in the grizzly bear suit.

[Ace Cosby]

You don't have to do that. You can just walk out there with a. With a couple pans and bang them. And the black bear will leave.

[Pat Godwin]

Hopefully again.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. The problem I have with this is what if you've got a black bear that didn't read the manual? He goes hey, look. That guy smells like my lunch.

[Ace Cosby]

They always say with black bears, act big and make a bunch of noise.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, but they always say that the guy that. That could attack. The fallacy of that is. Was eaten by a BlackBerry.

[Pat Godwin]

The grizzlies are the ones you gotta look out for.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, you're. I can't even imagine. Can you imagine?

[Pat Godwin]

No.

[Ace Cosby]

If you were walking in the woods and you heard like a. And you turned around and there was a grizzlies.

[Pat Godwin]

You're done. You're done.

[Chick McGee]

Don't they say that a polar bear. Polar bears are even more dangerous.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, because they'll hunt. They'll.

[Chick McGee]

They'll follow you because there's nothing else to eat.

[Christy Lee]

Well. And they're irritable from being cold. You know how pissed you get.

[Ace Cosby]

That's the whole thing. Maybe they just want your coat.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

I mean, I should never hike alone in grizzly country.

[Christy Lee]

I won't eat you for your hide if you just give me your hide.

[Chick McGee]

Is that a Bogdor? Sorry, I'd like to hear from an animal person if this is the really the smart move.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, of course it's some animal person.

[Chick McGee]

Call someone who's aware.

[Ace Cosby]

Unnecessary.

[Chick McGee]

No, I think. I just think it could go very, very. What if the. What if you're out there in your bear costume and you see the black bear bear, Then you see little bear cubs. No, you're toast. Right?

[Pat Godwin]

I will.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

That's always been my thing. I'd be way more. I'd be so much. I'd be.

[Christy Lee]

Hang on. It's okay. We're all in this together.

[Pat Godwin]

Thank you.

[Ace Cosby]

I'd be more afraid of seeing a cub than I would the mama because, oh, you see the cub, you know, mama's not far. You just can't see her, and, you.

[Pat Godwin]

Know, you want to go pet the. Go.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, that's the thing. Christy and I have.

[Pat Godwin]

We just want to go hug bears, play with them.

[Chick McGee]

Well, it can be if it's on your list. Your bucket list. Because the bucket's coming. Yeah, Right behind you.

[Ace Cosby]

You will be kicking it in no time.

[Chick McGee]

I. Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Christy and I can't hike together.

[Christy Lee]

Don't bear. How many bears smell horribly? Right?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. They say you can smell.

[Pat Godwin]

You can smell far away.

[Chick McGee]

But my question is, is this person doing this because it works or because he wants the viral video?

[Ace Cosby]

I think that the latter.

[Chick McGee]

I'd like. There's probably no one that has an accurate list of people that died or were mauled trying to do some stupid video. There's probably a whole you know, you always hear about, well, I'm gonna stand in front of the train and boom. That last selfie was really great.

[Pat Godwin]

I was just reading about this this morning. It's really weird. This guy has a book about horrible grizzly bear attacks. And the number one thing he says is you should never, ever, ever hike alone. Especially when it's this time of year and the bears are coming out of hibernation.

[Christy Lee]

Guess what?

[Pat Godwin]

They are hungry.

[Ace Cosby]

Boy, I bet you are hungry after hibernation.

[Christy Lee]

Have you seen that video that was going around with the. The bear waking up from hibernation, and it looked like a person with his hair all messed up.

[Ace Cosby]

Where am I?

[Christy Lee]

What the hell, man?

[Chick McGee]

Have you seen the documentary about the guy. Guy that was living with the bears? Was that in Alaska? Canada. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

And he got eaten by a bear.

[Christy Lee]

That was dominated for an Oscar.

[Ace Cosby]

It's a good documentary.

[Chick McGee]

I mean, at first he's walking around with them all the time, playing with them.

[Christy Lee]

They love me.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Well, then there's a rather gruesome little. The audio of getting eaten.

[Pat Godwin]

What happened that made him actually get eaten by the bear. Do we know?

[Ace Cosby]

Nothing.

[Christy Lee]

Bears got one of the bears.

[Chick McGee]

Didn't read the manual.

[Ace Cosby]

They're just. And a bear that he wants was very familiar with.

[Pat Godwin]

Really?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. Oh, it just remembered it was a bear.

[Billy]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Ouch. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Hadn't. Hadn't had lunch.

[Chick McGee]

Now, Christy, this next one, it's okay to read the headline, but it. It deserves.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, oh, listen to somebody. He's. He's directing you about.

[Pat Godwin]

What words to say are we doing next?

[Chick McGee]

The one about the birds.

[Ace Cosby]

Let me tell you about the birds.

[Christy Lee]

And the bees and the flowers and.

[Ace Cosby]

The trees and the fairies.

[Chick McGee]

Give her some room here because she's gonna have. There's a little.

[Pat Godwin]

I don't want to lose my job.

[Chick McGee]

It's a legitimate.

[Ace Cosby]

I'll happily lose my job.

[Pat Godwin]

Too much light at night disturbs great tits. We'll have the story coming up.

[Ace Cosby]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

That's great. What?

[Pat Godwin]

Tits.

[Chick McGee]

That's the name of a bird.

[Pat Godwin]

Name of a bird. Great tit.

[Chick McGee]

The great.

[Ace Cosby]

The great tit. Yes. Like a titmouse, Right?

[Chick McGee]

It's the name of a bird. Don't look at me like that. I didn't name it.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, but you want to giggle about.

[Christy Lee]

How is this going?

[Chick McGee]

You ever seen a great bear with. With feathers?

[Christy Lee]

How's this going to look in cold hard Tire?

[Chick McGee]

It's going to look like a legitimate story out of the news with the.

[Christy Lee]

State seal hanging on the wall. How's it going?

[Chick McGee]

Well, it's time now to check in with Josh because it's time now to talk about our friends@orange insouls.com yes.

[Ace Cosby]

You know, I was talking with the folks at Orange Insoles and I said, guys, guys, guys, you're missing out on half the market here. Orange Outsoles. And I said, you're only, you're only capturing 50%. Some people want them on the outside of their shoes.

[Christy Lee]

No, no, no.

[Ace Cosby]

And they explained to me they often fall off. They go, hey, look, we know what we're doing. Just read, okay? If you have back pain, hip pain or knee pain, it affects your daily routine. I know what kind of support you currently have in your shoes because, because you're always complaining about not feeling right. Well, that support is weak. It's a floppy little thin liner, does nothing really. Tissue, it's like a tissue. OrangeInsouls.com is the place to go. They offer arch support and a deep heel cup that work better in your shoes to help support your body, giving you better alignment and alleviating some of that discomfort you have, if not all of it. Find the right fit for you in whatever shoe you wear. With the insole [e-mail] you tell them what shoes you wear, work boots, sneakers, dress shoes, running shoes, whatever. And you tell them your size. By the way, these come true to size right to you. There's no cutting required when you get them. And they carry sizes 15 plus. Go to orangeinsoles.com today for free shipping. Plus, orange insoles come with a 60 day. We want you to be happy, guarantee that's two months. You try them and I think you're really going to find that you love them. And that's orangeinsouls.com feel better. Do more.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you very much. Orange Insoles. And don't forget, we've got a special thing going on with orange insoles. I'll tell you about it in just a few minutes. And we are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christy Lee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. That's right, it's pretzel nugget time.

[Chick McGee]

Something like that.

[Josh Arnold]

You're eating a roast chicken over there.

[Christy Lee]

That's not funny, Pat.

[Josh Arnold]

Everybody else left.

[Chick McGee]

This never happens on espn.

[Christy Lee]

Christy Lee, Josh, Arnold, and I'll cut.

[Chick McGee]

To Christmas, eating a hot dog.

[Josh Arnold]

Say my name.

[Ace Cosby]

You know, that may have happened.

[Pat Godwin]

Hello, Godwin. I'll say your name.

[Chick McGee]

Very good. I'll do the roundabout. Here we got.

[Christy Lee]

Here we go. Get comfortable.

[Chick McGee]

But he discus With a mouth full of food.

[Christy Lee]

Get comfortable, Tom. Doing the intros. I'll see you tomorrow.

[Chick McGee]

We have a.

[Ace Cosby]

And if you happen to be on the phone waiting for us, go ahead and hang up.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, we have a Zoom call, don't we?

[Chick McGee]

We're going to talk with one of my favorite comedians, Greg Warren. Oh, there he is.

[Christy Lee]

Greg Warren's the Warren Report, brought to you by champion windows. Visit championsave now.com.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, Greg, when is the album come? I mean the news. A TV special going to be out May 16, Tom.

[Ace Cosby]

Thanks for asking. My birthday.

[Chick McGee]

Do we have a. Do we have a title yet?

[Reno Collier]

We don't have an official title, but it seems like the champ is. Is the leak.

[Chick McGee]

I like that very much.

[Ace Cosby]

How about Greg Warren? It's Josh's birthday.

[Josh Arnold]

Ah, that works better.

[Pat Godwin]

Happy birthday.

[Reno Collier]

It's got a nice ring to it. Josh. Yeah, man, it feels like you're trying to sort of piggyback on my special to promote yourself.

[Chick McGee]

How about calling it Greg Warren presents Led Zeppelin 4?

[Reno Collier]

That's good.

[Ace Cosby]

I've been piggybacking off of you for. For quite a while, Greg. Why not?

[Chick McGee]

No, I saw Greg recently.

[Reno Collier]

You know, Tom, when it comes down to making out, put inside two of Led Zeppelin.

[Chick McGee]

That's right. Oh, thank you very much.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, you know that's the wrong album they're referring to.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, I know.

[Christy Lee]

Cashmere's not on that album.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you very much. Greg Warren's a very fine stand.

[Christy Lee]

This boring moment brought to you by tomorrow.

[Chick McGee]

Try to. I'm trying to plug your future show, Greg.

[Christy Lee]

But I already did.

[Chick McGee]

Can't squeeze it in. Okay. Yeah, okay. Very good. Now Greg likes to do the so called deep dive, if you will, into a variety of topics. And today I'm sure we have some kind of a surprise. What are you looking into?

[Reno Collier]

Looking into PEZ candy.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, Tom, I just bought like a 16 pack online.

[Ace Cosby]

You know, you can. You can keep it. I'm not.

[Christy Lee]

Oh yeah, you. You don't care for the PEZ candy.

[Billy]

I'm with you.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm with you too. Nobody likes.

[Ace Cosby]

I like the whole thing behind it, but.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, but the dispensers are great.

[Pat Godwin]

You bought.

[Reno Collier]

Exactly. It's not so much about the. The candy, Josh.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, but why not make the candy?

[Christy Lee]

You know, they now they have different flavored candies, I believe, including chocolate, I think.

[Reno Collier]

What I was aware of the chocolate and I. And I. And I spent a lot of time looking at it.

[Chick McGee]

We'll get our fact checker on that. Yeah, I just bought a bunch of One of my little girls loves the PEZ thing. So I went online and I found you can buy. I mean there are so many Greg's gonna like.

[Pat Godwin]

I have a girlfriend.

[Reno Collier]

It's a little misleading though for these kids, don't you think? I mean the, the. I. I have a friend, John Drexler. He's got a, A very big head.

[Christy Lee]

And does it go back like. It goes back like a PEZ dispenser.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

My, my nephews think that it's going to back and have candy spit out his neck because he got such a big head.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Ace Cosby]

But we lunched with him in Columbia, Missouri once.

[Reno Collier]

That was another one of my friends.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, it was John. I'll never forget old Drexie.

[Chick McGee]

Once again. We're a fact fact free today.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, did anybody else here Christie's sad tale that one of her friends.

[Pat Godwin]

It's not sad. She's got the most amazing pole of pests PEZ collections ever. You know or.

[Christy Lee]

They're cool.

[Chick McGee]

They're fun.

[Pat Godwin]

They're very cool.

[Chick McGee]

I remember when I was, when I was a kid, it was, it was so, you know, all of a sudden I've got a pez. Oh my God. It was so special.

[Christy Lee]

Where'd you get that?

[Chick McGee]

It was fun.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, Greg, teachers.

[Reno Collier]

The, the, the name PEZ comes from the German spelling of peppermint, which is Fefferman's. They took the P at the beginning, the E in the middle, and the Z at the end.

[Ace Cosby]

Huh.

[Reno Collier]

1927, Edward Haas III. His family was in the baking business.

[Chick McGee]

Wasn't there, isn't there a movie where they said that he chopped off his head like a PEZ dispenser?

[Ace Cosby]

Oh my.

[Reno Collier]

I'm not familiar.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, Maybe that was O.J. sorry. Back to you, Greg.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh my gosh.

[Christy Lee]

You know, as my father would say, damn good and well tell that it was oj.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Peppermint flavored products were usually made boiling ingredients which wasted a lot of peppermint flavoring because it evaporated during the heating process. And peppermint was very expensive back then. So Haas and his people developed a tablet manufacturing process that's cold. There are thousands of pounds. Pounds of force on those little peppermint bricks to make. It's like diamonds, guys.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Reno Collier]

Make these things. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Haas was a guy that was against smoking and that. That's why PEZ were. Were created originally was an anti smoking mint even back in the 20s.

[Pat Godwin]

Like an early Nicorette.

[Reno Collier]

It was an early Nicorette, but without, without the nicotine.

[Chick McGee]

It was Just about, About having. Just the oral.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Pleasure.

[Reno Collier]

And the, the, originally, the packaging did not have the heads on the top of it. It was just a square dispenser meant to look like a lighter, a cigarette lighter.

[Ace Cosby]

No kidding.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. And, and the way they did that, you know how they kind of pop out of there? That was sort of for sanitary purposes. They didn't want somebody with dirty hands. When you're sharing a mint with them, you can, you can use one hand when you're driving or something like that. Or if you have dirty hands, you can just sort of shoot that, Shoot that mint right into your mouth.

[Ace Cosby]

Very smart.

[Chick McGee]

That's the same reason a friend of mine used to open his cigarettes from the bottom.

[Pat Godwin]

God, here we go.

[Reno Collier]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

He didn't want to get certain juices on the filter.

[Christy Lee]

Juices.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey. Might as well say he said it earlier.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Greg, if you knew the full details of that story, you would simply hang up.

[Christy Lee]

It's an erroneous story. It doesn't make any sense on this.

[Reno Collier]

Show quite a few times.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

What's. Actually.

[Reno Collier]

We're good.

[Chick McGee]

That's actually fascinating that they, that he, they had the forethought to have it so that you wouldn't be touching.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Looks, for example, when, like, Christy comes over here sometimes, she goes, do you have one of those toothpick things that I have? What are those called?

[Pat Godwin]

Floss sticks.

[Chick McGee]

Floss sticks, yeah. And I was sure. But I'm not gonna put my hands on it and then hand it to her. I kind of. You do that flick, like, with a cigarette pack.

[Reno Collier]

I can talk to the, the Haas family, see if they can design something for you guys on that.

[Ace Cosby]

You have an.

[Pat Godwin]

Can you get your own PEZ dispenser?

[Christy Lee]

That's got to be something that can happen.

[Reno Collier]

Christy, you can't. It's, they, they only do a few real people. It's mostly cartoons and stuff like that. There's a few real people, and it's, it's hard. It's very hard. They deny requests all the time.

[Chick McGee]

Wouldn't that be great? Instead of bobblehead, you do PEZ Night.

[Reno Collier]

You can get Christine Paul Revere Kiss, which, I mean, of course, they're like, they're like cartoons. Anyways. Kisses. Daniel Boone, who was a larger than life Betsy Ross. Betsy Ross got her own.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. Guys, I wouldn't be able to pick Betsy Ross out of a lineup. I gotta, I, I, Oh, Unless she had the sewing equipment with her.

[Pat Godwin]

I wouldn't be able to be making a flag right yeah, if there was.

[Reno Collier]

Some sort of sewing equipment, I'd be, oh, that's Betsy Ross. But without the sewing equipment, I'd be like, I think that's that old lady that owns Tweety Bird.

[Chick McGee]

By the way, Greg, you can get a. The four piece Kiss Pez dispensers between 60 and $40 online right now. And they.

[Reno Collier]

Josh, was he just Googling stuff?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. He's not paying attention.

[Chick McGee]

No, I just want you to know that they're still out there. Christy, this is the perfect thing we can get for Ace. We should explain. Ace broke his leg and he's laid up right now. Yeah, we need to. We need to maybe do something to cheer him up. I think Pez.

[Reno Collier]

Oh, that would be a good thing for him. Yeah, that would.

[Pat Godwin]

Probably owns them.

[Ace Cosby]

Sadly, there is a chance he does have them to find out.

[Reno Collier]

So they brought the. The Pez dispensers. Well, Pez the candy over to the US in 1953 as a smoking cessation product. And.

[Ace Cosby]

Or.

[Reno Collier]

No, this was in the 20s. I'm sorry. And of course, Americans in the 20s. No, it was the 50s. Sorry, guys, I'm all over the.

[Ace Cosby]

No, it's okay.

[Reno Collier]

In the 50s. Of course, in the 50s, the Americans were like, yeah, you can keep your smoking abatement product. We go put it on the shelf over there with the sunblock and the helmet belts and the drunk driving pamphlets.

[Ace Cosby]

Our doctors smoke, for God's sake.

[Chick McGee]

Why would. When we stop, tough it out.

[Reno Collier]

So that's when Haas decided to sort of refocus on children. And he.

[Ace Cosby]

You know, the cigarette companies did the same thing.

[Chick McGee]

Hi, Joe Camel. Isn't he fun? Talk to Fred Flintstone. You know, he smokes Winston.

[Christy Lee]

Winston tastes good cigarettes good.

[Ace Cosby]

Hey, Fred. I opened my pack from the bot.

[Christy Lee]

That's because, you know, I tell you what.

[Chick McGee]

Bet he's got a stench.

[Christy Lee]

Those juices on.

[Chick McGee]

You didn't think you'd be here and Betty's got a stench, did you?

[Billy]

No.

[Christy Lee]

What about her flaps?

[Chick McGee]

They. They'd be a stinking.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Not to mention itching any who.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. So they. They focus on the kids and then. And they. The original Pez dispensers, you know, were like full bodied. They didn't just have the head. I think Santa Claus was one of the first ones.

[Ace Cosby]

Like, it had arms and legs.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Weird.

[Reno Collier]

A little bit weird looking. The first box head that we know was a witch in 1957, around Halloween. And then the. Then they hit it big with Popeye right after that.

[Ace Cosby]

That's a good Licensing plate.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, but by the way, if you're just joining us here in the Baba Time show, we are coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Our special guest is Greg Warren. Today we are reviewing the history of the PEZ dispenser. This is very exciting. Tell me more, Greg.

[Reno Collier]

Tom, what do you think the tallest PEZ dispenser is?

[Pat Godwin]

Tallest?

[Chick McGee]

Is it animal related or is it related? Is it like a basketball?

[Reno Collier]

It makes sense. Once you hear it.

[Ace Cosby]

I'm gonna say Lincoln.

[Christy Lee]

I'm gonna say giraffe.

[Billy]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

You guys are close. Marge Simpson. Because of the hair.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, sure.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. Five and 18 inch. It's a, it's a bigger one. The, the Pez, they make the candy in Orange, Connecticut. That's the only place where they make the candy. They make the dispensers, I think in China and Slovenia. But the only place they make the candy is, is in Orange. And you can go visit the PEZ visitor center in, in Orange, Connecticut.

[Ace Cosby]

Really?

[Reno Collier]

TripAdvisor. I took a look at this, guys. I, I try to do some, you know, deep, deep dives. It says it's the number one thing to do in Orange, Connecticut. Number one, Spence. The PEZ visitors, number seven is the local Target store.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay.

[Ace Cosby]

Target's only seven.

[Reno Collier]

That beat out Montana Knights ax throwing, which is down at 13.

[Christy Lee]

Well, you, to be fair though, you could throw an ax in Target.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Greg, do you talk about chick?

[Reno Collier]

That's.

[Ace Cosby]

It's not Walmart.

[Reno Collier]

You can't throw axes.

[Christy Lee]

Maybe not.

[Chick McGee]

Do you like the PEZ candy, Greg?

[Reno Collier]

I, I'm with these guys. I take it or leave it. I'm not, I'm not gonna, I'm not as negative as they are.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, I'm not gonna slap it out of somebody's hand.

[Chick McGee]

Are there multiple flavors now?

[Pat Godwin]

Yes, they were.

[Ace Cosby]

There were. It seemed like when I was a kid. You're great.

[Reno Collier]

They switched over to the, the fruit flavors as well. I, I don't know. Back in the day when they were the smoking cessation products product, they, their big advertisement is they had a lot of like racy pin up girls on posters.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, yeah.

[Reno Collier]

So if you ever like, yeah, I'm a dog, I'm dating the PEZ girl. It didn't mean somebody with a big head that had candy shooting out of them.

[Christy Lee]

There was nothing shooting out of him.

[Chick McGee]

If you call her big head, if you call her big head Candy, she's going to be very popular.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, big boys, look on this.

[Christy Lee]

They've got to open up the Personalized Pez like they do the bobbleheads. Only a ped.

[Pat Godwin]

Exactly.

[Christy Lee]

Money on the table.

[Reno Collier]

They don't do it, Chick. I mean, one of the Kardashians wanted it and they said no.

[Christy Lee]

Well, if they can't get it done.

[Reno Collier]

But Prince William and Kate Middleton have it. That one. Elvis, Marilyn Monroe. But again, they're. They're almost like icons.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah, they're icons, man. You can't just get it. I mean, I don't know. I see what you're angling for here, Chick. It's not going to happen.

[Chick McGee]

But I. I would think maybe instead of bobblehead night, if you could do Pez night. I wonder if it would be a problem. They'd be concerned about someone choking on the candy and getting sued.

[Reno Collier]

Well, there was a. They did have a Mr. Potato Head Pez dispenser that had little face pieces, and they got rid of that quick because the plastic pieces were a choking.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, sure. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

If you're a child and can't play with a Pez without choking on a piece, maybe.

[Reno Collier]

Well, maybe that's just God's way of sorting it out.

[Christy Lee]

Don't stick it in your mouth there, Claude. Come on. This kid's name. Claude, in my scenario.

[Chick McGee]

Now, the Kardashian Pez that they proposed, did it have a big head or just a big ass?

[Ace Cosby]

Yes, that is a fair question.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, why haven't they done that with the behind? Why don't they bend it over and it's a button sticking up in the air?

[Reno Collier]

And they did add feet at. At one point.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, I remember this. Yeah, you could stand them up. Yeah.

[Reno Collier]

If you don't have feet, that's a good chance. It's a valuable one because it's old.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. Have you guys heard about this? There's a. A documentary on Netflix I didn't have a chance to watch. Watch it about the Pez Outlaw.

[Ace Cosby]

No. Why was it outlawed?

[Reno Collier]

Apparently, this guy, Steve Glue GL was smuggling rare Eastern European Pez dispensers into the U.S. oh, outlaw. Like 4 million bucks.

[Ace Cosby]

I see. Okay, interesting.

[Reno Collier]

And PEZ did not like it at all. Especially the. The guy that runs PEZ over there, Scott McWinney. Josh, what do they call. What do they call him?

[Ace Cosby]

I'm gonna say the poo.

[Reno Collier]

Nope.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, the Prez. The PEZ Press.

[Reno Collier]

Try it again, Jess.

[Billy]

I. I don't. I have nothing. The chance.

[Reno Collier]

They call him the President.

[Josh Arnold]

Right there.

[Ace Cosby]

Mr. President. And once you're the President, you're always referred to as Mr. President. Right?

[Reno Collier]

I think so, yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

And you get Secret Service.

[Reno Collier]

You get a Secret Service detail. But it's just. Yeah, it's just those candy things. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Does he have to work? Does he have to wear a fez? I love the fez, but the feasible. Okay.

[Christy Lee]

He's constantly quoted and says, I think that's.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah. And he rides around in a very small car.

[Chick McGee]

Well, thank you, Greg. This was fascinating. I'm a big PEZ fan and I think we perhaps to celebrate your new TV show when it comes out, we should maybe, maybe pass around some PEZ here.

[Ace Cosby]

I'd like that.

[Reno Collier]

I'd like that a lot.

[Chick McGee]

Are you going to come see us when it comes out so we can.

[Reno Collier]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, good. Well, we'll certainly look forward to that. Greg Warren is a wonderful stand up comedian and a nice person to an iced tea fan. And are you doing. Are you doing connections from the New York Times every day, man.

[Reno Collier]

It's so funny. I had a horrible, you know, delayed flight yesterday and I got done with most of the crosswords I want to do and I tried connections for the first time in a while. It's a difficult game.

[Ace Cosby]

So you had a delayed flight and then you missed your connections? No, I mean, it was right there.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, it was right there. I think we all passed on.

[Ace Cosby]

No, thank you. I'm the only one that thought of it.

[Chick McGee]

I'm asking because Chick and I were struggling with their use of the word boogeyman spelled B, O, G, E, Y than we were.

[Reno Collier]

I think this. I played that same one and I got it.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I got it. And I thought they were wrong. Josh has pointed out apparently the original boogeyman was spelled with one O.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, for sure. And still is.

[Chick McGee]

Man.

[Reno Collier]

I was. I was thinking the same way. That was a. That was a very, very difficult connections that.

[Chick McGee]

And we have a boogeyman in the news. Do you have any gigs you want to plug coming up? I'm sorry, I forgot to ask Greg.

[Reno Collier]

Nah, I'm going to Europe with Nate. Yeah. Leaving on Friday. We're going to Europe for two weeks.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, nice, nice.

[Ace Cosby]

Like Epcot or actual Europe?

[Christy Lee]

Oslo. And you know, there are people who like epcot's Europe better than the real Europe.

[Reno Collier]

Is that right?

[Josh Arnold]

Get it done quickly.

[Reno Collier]

And you save a lot. Save a lot of money going down. Epcot probably.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, hell.

[Chick McGee]

Well, thanks, Greg. I. It's always appreciated. Very funny. Right now I want to. I want to remind you that we had a lot of fun. Thanks to our friends at Field of Dreams Whiskey. Just around the corner of course, down the road a piece, it's Father's Day, but you want to act now while these are still available. The Field of Dreams, folks, that special edition bourbon is now available.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, that Drew Storn is boring, isn't it?

[Chick McGee]

Such a nice guy. The bourbon is crafted from corn from the most famous cornfield in the world, the Field of Dreams field in Iowa. And this is crafted with precision, as they say. And find out more information by going to drinkfieldofdreams.com tom or look forward to a retailer near you. It can be mailed to certain states, not all of them, but each bottle is. There's made one for each man that's ever played major league baseball. So find out what I'm talking about. But it's a really cool gift, I think. So if you're thinking about Father's Day a little early, it might be something to grab now for your dad. Shipping not available. Here's a quick roster of states where you can't have it mailed to you. Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Delaware, Idaho, Kentucky. I've been everywhere, man. Michigan, Mississippi, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah and Vermont. Of course, you've got to be 21 or over. Please drink responsibly. Field of Dreams whiskey. Once again, get all the information@drink fieldofdreams.com Tom. Get them while they're still available. Now coming up, we do have the boogeyman in the news. Yeah. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Greg Warren]

Show. Just got to get a hold of us. Call, fax, mail or email. Get all the contact information you [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Free.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. That's me scratching.

[Chick McGee]

While you're scratching, your dust flaps.

[Christy Lee]

Be itchy.

[Pat Godwin]

All right.

[Christy Lee]

Welcome back to the show. What are you laughing at? Go, buddy, go.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, hello. Welcome back to the Babaton program. Just dealing with some stuff here.

[Christy Lee]

He's dealing with some stuff.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I've got. Yeah. It's too boring to explain.

[Pat Godwin]

He's complicated. You know that.

[Chick McGee]

Life's complicated. Of course it is. Now we have a story from Christy Lee about the boogeyman.

[Pat Godwin]

The myth of the boogeyman hiding under the bed came true for one Kansas family this week.

[Ace Cosby]

I mean, this is terrible.

[Pat Godwin]

After a child's complaint led to a man's arrest.

[Chick McGee]

Whoa.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. A babysitter said a child was that she was watching complain that there was a monster hiding under her bed. The babysitter found a man hiding under the Child's bed. After they attempted to show the children there was nothing under there.

[Ace Cosby]

What does that guy do? Doing.

[Pat Godwin]

She came face to face with a male suspect who was hiding. According to the sheriff's office, deputies arrived at the home just outside the city of Great Bend at 10:30pm Monday after they were called about the disturbance. This was last Monday after the deputies arrived. The babysitter told deputies that when the man was discovered, there was an altercation. The child was knocked over during the scuffle and the suspect fled.

[Chick McGee]

Oh.

[Pat Godwin]

Police were able to arrest the man the next day in the same neighborhood. And he's being held on a half a million dollar bond. Good God.

[Chick McGee]

Think those kids will be terrified for the rest of their life.

[Ace Cosby]

That's tough.

[Billy]

Now, I mean, when I was a latchkey kid, so every time we would get off the bus and come in the house, we would get the butcher knife and we would check behind all the curtains, behind all the shower curtains, all the, under the beds, make sure nobody was in the house. Terrified.

[Chick McGee]

Every day.

[Billy]

Every day.

[Chick McGee]

But I mean, think about these kids.

[Christy Lee]

That's when she got home.

[Chick McGee]

Because you're worried about the monster in the closet. Whatever.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

This legitimately happened.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

There's some lunatic under the bed.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Billy]

And as the babysitter.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, exactly. I mean, this is Halloween.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

The movie.

[Christy Lee]

What the hell.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. $500,000 bond. Not enough.

[Billy]

No.

[Ace Cosby]

What a creepazoid.

[Chick McGee]

Time to get the key and throw it away.

[Ace Cosby]

I'll say.

[Chick McGee]

And by the way, what also would be determined from this story is that the boogeyman apparently is B, O, G, E, Y. Not B O.

[Pat Godwin]

It's spelled with two o's here.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, no, it's not. It's one. It's B O, G, E, Y. You're right.

[Christy Lee]

So you know who it probably was? A bogeyman. That's who it was.

[Chick McGee]

Which, what is the correct spelling of golf? A bogey. Is that an ie or any.

[Pat Godwin]

I think it's an E, Y. I.

[Christy Lee]

Thought, well, maybe it is you. I don't know. I, I, I don't.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

Anyway, pay attention to golf.

[Chick McGee]

And it is the boogeyman. I was always not the bogey man.

[Ace Cosby]

They kind of said bogey in like Ireland and stuff.

[Billy]

Oh, yeah?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Do they call him the bogey man Boogeyman because he goes boogie, boogie, boogie or he picks his nose or.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Why is it we'll have to do a deep dive? I don't know.

[Billy]

Is there a horror film called the Boogeyman?

[Ace Cosby]

A couple of them yes. There's one that's based on a Stephen King short story. And then there's another one about a different boogeyman.

[Chick McGee]

I believe there's a disco song. Is there not?

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, that's my. That is legitimately my favorite disco song.

[Christy Lee]

Yo, Boogeyman.

[Ace Cosby]

Casey and the Boys. That's what I. Zombie does a cover of it.

[Chick McGee]

Really?

[Ace Cosby]

Which makes sense. Yeah.

[Billy]

And then. Is there Boogie Fever?

[Christy Lee]

There is Boogie Fever by the Silvers.

[Josh Arnold]

And you can ride the boogie. Michael Jackson. Jackson.

[Billy]

Oh, that's true. The boogies everywhere.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Isn't there a boogie children's joke of some sort?

[Ace Cosby]

How do you get a Kleenex to dance?

[Billy]

Put a little boogie in it.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, there we go. I knew there was that.

[Christy Lee]

You ever have a boogie garden, Tom?

[Chick McGee]

What's that?

[Christy Lee]

That's where you lay in bed and pick your nose and you put it on the wall.

[Billy]

That's gross.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I can't be the only one who has a boogie garden.

[Ace Cosby]

You are.

[Pat Godwin]

My God.

[Billy]

Are you the one that goes into the men's restroom and just flips them on the wall?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. I always. I did. I. I didn't want to. I did assume it was you.

[Billy]

Yeah, I knew it was him, too.

[Christy Lee]

I assumed it was Josh.

[Billy]

No, you.

[Ace Cosby]

I would never.

[Chick McGee]

It's not me.

[Christy Lee]

I don't do it.

[Billy]

It is you.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, I thought.

[Ace Cosby]

I just thought. We got a real confusion.

[Chick McGee]

I can't see Chick doing it.

[Jess Hooker]

I'm.

[Christy Lee]

I'm going to start doing. I can tell you that. Who does it?

[Ace Cosby]

I don't know, because only adults are in here.

[Christy Lee]

And by the way.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, alleged adults. Yeah.

[Billy]

Maybe by age.

[Christy Lee]

If some of you would like to give me your boogies, I will put them on the wall in the men's room.

[Ace Cosby]

I don't like. I don't like any of this.

[Josh Arnold]

Nothing.

[Christy Lee]

You don't like boogers, and it's in.

[Billy]

A specific spot in the men's room.

[Christy Lee]

Did you have eat boogers in school?

[Ace Cosby]

No, I didn't.

[Chick McGee]

Could we move on?

[Ace Cosby]

No, I saw it, but I did not do it.

[Christy Lee]

Did you ever see anybody eat boogers, Tom?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah. I don't want to. I know the guy's name. He's a distinguished college professor.

[Christy Lee]

Is there anyone who. Who went to school with you who isn't distinguished? Doesn't.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, there's a couple dead losers. I mean, it's, you know, dead losers.

[Christy Lee]

My God.

[Pat Godwin]

If you were traumatized by the boogeyman and have trouble sleeping, sleep experts may have the answer for you.

[Christy Lee]

All right.

[Pat Godwin]

If you're looking to get a better night's sleep, they suggest wearing socks to bed.

[Chick McGee]

I don't buy this.

[Pat Godwin]

Michelle.

[Billy]

Dress up the guy who wears socks. Socks in the lake. You don't buy this?

[Pat Godwin]

I wear socks to bed every night.

[Christy Lee]

Here's the thing. This is very primal. I don't know what your story says, but if your feet are warm, that sends a message to your brain that you're safe and you can go to sleep.

[Chick McGee]

Dr. Jess hit the nail on the head. I've always worn socks to bed because that way if the boogeyman reaches up to get you, he pulls the sock away. The same reason I always would when I was in Harbor Springs skiing on Little Traverse Bay. Water skiing. I would always wear socks. So the. When the Gill man came up from the bottom, he would grab my foot, all he'd get was sock and I'd be able to swim back to the boat.

[Ace Cosby]

Flawed thinking.

[Billy]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Have you ever tried peeling off a wet sock? Nearly impossible. Did I mention, have you ever grabbed a wet foot? Very slippery?

[Billy]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

So you would have been better off not wearing socks.

[Chick McGee]

I was seven at the time.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, I would have expected a seven year old Tom Griswold to be a little.

[Christy Lee]

Anybody else?

[Chick McGee]

I was an idiot.

[Christy Lee]

Anybody else have a sock full of boogers at home? Anybody?

[Ace Cosby]

I don't know why you're so gross. Gross.

[Chick McGee]

What's up with the book?

[Pat Godwin]

No, I'm just kidding.

[Chick McGee]

Keep.

[Christy Lee]

So.

[Chick McGee]

So you're supposed to listen to what I said.

[Christy Lee]

That'd be great.

[Chick McGee]

Do you leave them on or do you take them off?

[Ace Cosby]

Well, if you weren't going to sleep with your socks on, you have to leave them on. You weren't just a dumb 7 year old.

[Chick McGee]

Because if I go to bed with a shirt on, st. You're stupid. If I go to bed with a shirt on, I end up taking it off in the middle of the night on my first. Yeah, first trip to the urine.

[Christy Lee]

Do you go like you elbow her and go honey, it's the gun show. I know it's three in the morning.

[Pat Godwin]

On your first trip. How many do you make?

[Ace Cosby]

These nipples aren't going to alligator clip themselves.

[Christy Lee]

Do you do something like.

[Chick McGee]

Wait a minute, you can use alligator clips. That's what they're called.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I've been using those wooden laundry things.

[Pat Godwin]

Clothes pins.

[Chick McGee]

Those clothes pins, the kind with the picture on, not the ones that just are straight.

[Christy Lee]

He wakes her up at three in the morning and goes baby thirsty.

[Pat Godwin]

By wearing socks to bed and warming Your feet, you may actually lower your core body temperature and fall asleep faster.

[Ace Cosby]

Now, I had heard that this was germy. Christy, is there anything in there about that?

[Pat Godwin]

No, doesn't say anything about germs.

[Ace Cosby]

Like, it was, like, bacterial growth and such.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Pat Godwin]

What?

[Ace Cosby]

If you wear socks all night, there's a chance that your feet can't breathe. Sweat. Fungus. Hmm. You have fungusy feet.

[Pat Godwin]

No, I don't.

[Christy Lee]

There's a fungus among us.

[Ace Cosby]

I'm gonna have to put one in my mouth to see.

[Chick McGee]

No, I'm really grossed out.

[Ace Cosby]

Okay, please choke.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you very much. If you are just joining us, stick around because we're gonna come right back.

[Christy Lee]

Doesn't the term Gillman, doesn't that sound a little Jewish? Like Sid Gilman, famous coach.

[Chick McGee]

Well, the famous producer for.

[Ace Cosby]

All right. Gilman. Oh, yeah. Regis and Kathy Lee.

[Chick McGee]

Regis and Kathy Lee. That always go Gil. My name, it's Gelman.

[Ace Cosby]

We have to go. I need to gargle on Christie's toes.

[Josh Arnold]

That's it.

[Christy Lee]

Just socks?

[Josh Arnold]

No other.

[Pat Godwin]

I wear pajamas and stuff.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, okay.

[Chick McGee]

You could do the old three sock gag, Pat.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, there you.

[Jess Hooker]

Socks.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, one sock on my.

[Chick McGee]

The rhymes. Yeah. That one might be those low risers you wear in the summer. Tube socks.

[Christy Lee]

You know, what's the deal with your entire wardrobe? I got a big problem.

[Chick McGee]

Roll it down, roll it down. Up to where you can see the stripes that are my soccer.

[Pat Godwin]

They're all.

[Chick McGee]

What do you call the baseball stirrups? Those.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, yeah, stirrups.

[Chick McGee]

You know. You know, there has to be a story about that somewhere in the Major League.

[Christy Lee]

You wear boxers or briefs?

[Josh Arnold]

I'm with boxers now.

[Christy Lee]

Just boxer briefs or boxers?

[Josh Arnold]

I wear a bamboo kind of hot boxers. They're tight to the crotch.

[Christy Lee]

Hot boxers.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, you can see my.

[Ace Cosby]

My bulge.

[Chick McGee]

Bamboo. What, are you gonna get eaten by some marsupial? All right, whatever you're gonna do, we're coming right back. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Greg Warren]

This is the Bob and Tom show. Text us at 888-262-866. One more Bob and Tom next.

[Chick McGee]

On this show.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the SILAC Insurance News deck desk. There's Pat Godwin. Jess Hooker's here. Hello, Josh Arnold.

[Ace Cosby]

Hi.

[Christy Lee]

We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Hello, Tom.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you very much, Chick Magee. Time to check in with our satellite feed. On the big screen we have. There he is. I can see him here.

[Jess Hooker]

Morning.

[Chick McGee]

He leans into this.

[Reno Collier]

It's.

[Chick McGee]

It's. It's comedian Reno Collier joining us this morning. Reno, before we get to whatever you might have prepared, it's time to. To catch you off guard and throw something at you. We were reading. People were sending in phrases that their parents may have said to them, may have heard their mom or dad say. Christie had a couple really good ones. Very colorful.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I was full as a tick. My dad used to say after dinner, all the time. Time.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. One I liked was his dad would always say he'd always. They were at a restaurant, he didn't end up eating half their food. And he goes, it's not like I can still fit in my prom dress. So. Yeah, I like that. Did you have any? Because you grew up in kind of a colorful household.

[Jess Hooker]

I remember my grandfather used to say, you can lose everything, but don't lose your mind.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

All right, that sounds reasonable.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. My mom used to say, shut up, dumbass.

[Chick McGee]

Yep.

[Jess Hooker]

I think that that pretty much sums it up. She's gonna kill me, man.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, you should have shut up, dumbass.

[Chick McGee]

Got a letter here from Katie. She writes, my dad always would say, it's hotter than the hubs of hell.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, man, there are wheels in hell. I had no idea.

[Chick McGee]

I didn't either. And then it's cold enough to freeze the nipples off a dead witch. That's a variation. That's really cool. That's sort of a cleansed version.

[Christy Lee]

Witches and a tin bra. Yeah.

[Billy]

My mom would say, I will beat you like a redheaded stepchild.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, I heard that one.

[Billy]

That one happened a lot.

[Chick McGee]

Y. Harry. This is from Tanya. Writes, my mom would get up in the morning, go to the bathroom, look in the mirror, and say, God, I look like the running gears of hell. I have never heard that one before.

[Pat Godwin]

Hell's half acre was one my family saw. Yeah. I run around like hell's half acre. What is a half acre in hell anyway?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, it's still hot.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Christy never stops being the real Patrick. Writes, my dad would always say, why don't you go take a long walk off a short dock? Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Why don't you go play on the dotted line? What does that mean?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, people can cross.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, okay, I see. Very good. Very good. If you've got any good ones, send them to us, Bob [e-mail]. what is the Latest in your life. Reno, Cosmos. Collier.

[Jess Hooker]

Everything's good, man. Except for last night. We were in the bathroom. Alarms, tornadoes and all that crap going off.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, sure. Everything okay?

[Jess Hooker]

I think so. I haven't been outside yet. I thought I'd do this first and then go look to see if my chair is three streets down. But, yeah, we didn't. We didn't get a tornado. We just had winds and stuff. It wasn't that bad, but I'm getting ready to. Oh, go ahead.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, no. You're in the bathroom room.

[Pat Godwin]

He doesn't have a basement.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, okay. All right. Makes sense. Do you have a glass door in the bathroom?

[Jess Hooker]

Not that connects to the outside.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, that. Because that'd be really cool. Your neighbors would love that.

[Reno Collier]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Reno and his wife are showering. Get the porn music.

[Jess Hooker]

Good morning, everybody.

[Chick McGee]

I'm sorry. So what were you gonna say? Oh, no.

[Jess Hooker]

And then I'm getting ready to go on the road. The 18th, I'll be with Larry the cable guy in Grant, Oklahoma. Then Lake Charles, Louisiana. Then Spartansburg, South Carolina. Wilmington, North Carolina, and Bristol, Tennessee, all with Larry.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

That'll be great.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, man. It's gonna be fun, dude.

[Chick McGee]

And I. Was he gonna. Does he beat you in golf? Every time.

[Jess Hooker]

You know, I used to beat him like a drum. But the thing that sucks with rich people is his golf coaches that help him. Him are like PGA players. Oh, and. And I go to Dwayne at Cedar Crest, you know, so it's like he's got some guy that Hank Haney that helped Tiger woods, you know, and my guy's spitting dip. Spit on my balls. So it's like your golf.

[Chick McGee]

It's just a different. Be clear.

[Jess Hooker]

My golf balls.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

I mean, we don't party like that in Murfreesboro. You know what I'm saying?

[Ace Cosby]

But it's. Alan Jackson would allow that.

[Jess Hooker]

That's right. Love you only. Only five people got that.

[Ace Cosby]

We both love Alan Jackson. Oh, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

But they think we're talking about the singers.

[Ace Cosby]

Right, Right, right.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

But, yeah, he does. He beats me now. And I used to beat him like a drum. So I am. I'll tell you this, and nobody else, but I'm really working on my swing and trying to get back up because I cannot have him beat me in everything in life. It'd be nice if I could beat him in something.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Maybe someday, maybe something great will happen. And one day he'll open for you at a stadium.

[Jess Hooker]

You know, I used to dream about that. And I'm Afraid at this point by looking at my balding head in this, that I may have run out of time.

[Chick McGee]

You think so? I don't think so.

[Jess Hooker]

For me to sell out a stadium, sure.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Unless I get one of those Disney operations where I can rifle a football 5,000 miles an hour, I don't think I'm there.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

My career peaked 10 years ago. I'm cool with it. With it?

[Ace Cosby]

I'm having fun.

[Christy Lee]

I could tell you never mention it.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, maybe I can use one of these old, old phrases on you. Here.

[Jess Hooker]

Go ahead. What you got?

[Chick McGee]

Got this nice letter from Billy. Billy Jr. He's kind enough to write. He goes, my father would always say it's better to be seen than viewed, implying that you're being viewed at a funeral rather than being seen. So, Reno, it's better to see you than have to be viewed viewing you.

[Jess Hooker]

I love that.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you, buddy. So it's nice to see you.

[Jess Hooker]

It's nice to see.

[Chick McGee]

When is the viewing, by the way?

[Jess Hooker]

About six months.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Another one in our family was, you're going to hell in a handbasket.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

I heard that one, too.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I like this one. This is also from. From Pat. From. Excuse me, from Billy. If I had a 50, 50 chance, I'd be wrong 75 of the time. Yes.

[Ace Cosby]

Proving his own point.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, it's a math. Okay, Reno, what do you got for us?

[Jess Hooker]

So I got a little country fried take this morning.

[Chick McGee]

Excuse me.

[Jess Hooker]

So a tip is a sum of money given to someone as a reward for their services. Now, if I walk up to a counter, say, what sandwich I want, someone just puts it on a tray. Then I carry it all myself to the drink machine, fill up my drink, carry it to the table, eat it, and then clean up all my trash and chuck it in the receptacle. And you had the nerve before I even got my food to look at me and say, you can tap the gratuity button for 15, 20 or 25%. It's up to you. You have really put me in a tough spot. Now, other than throwing some stuff on bread, I'm actually doing all the work. You should reward me. You're wearing the hat and the name tag. There's a sign out in front with posters in the window. This is a publicly traded company. There are a lot of other people involved in this transaction, Brad. The only hang up is that the one thing you do is handle my food. And let me guess, Brad probably isn't all that pumped to be there today. He's got A bong and a PlayStation at his house. And every morning before coming into work, he has to decide which one of those he loves the most. And my money is on him staying home, pulling tubes and playing Mortal Kombat. So the rush of thoughts at this time in my head are, is it worth two bucks for him not to add those nose nuggets to my turkey or to stand on my principles? And Brad acts like he doesn't look to see if I tipped. But he looks. They always look. You can tell by the look on his face like. Like I'm about to stretch one piece of paper thin turkey across this 12 inch bun and put enough mayo on it to change your cholesterol medicine. Then he says something like, sorry brah, the toaster's busted. So I put it in the microwave. Oh great. That's fantastic. There's nothing better than piping hot mayonnaise and lettuce on a wet bun. It's like eating out of a dishwasher. And if you just thank them without a tip, you get that half cocked smile and a look on Brad's face like it's all good. I'm just gonna stare at you until you take that first bite into it. Nobody survives the floor cheese. So now you spend the rest of the day waiting for your stomach to blow out. I typically spend the afternoon driving around thinking about Brad. Oh, Brad wouldn't do anything weird like floor cheat. I mean, come on, it's Brad. Sure, he made some questionable decisions. He had that stretched out earlobe, whole skin laying across his shoulder and bite me tattooed on his neck. But who of us haven't made mistakes? Then suddenly you hear your stomach.

[Ace Cosby]

You.

[Jess Hooker]

Start to sweat, but you're cold at the same time. Damn it, Brad. Now I've got amoebic dysentery and some kind of mesothelioma coma. My point is, it ruins not just lunch, but the whole day. Dirty people make great coffee, but not great sandwiches. Now on the other hand, if you take my order, you're pleasant. You bring the food to the table, you fill the drinks and clean the table. It's reward time. Your pay depends on me and you deserve to be rewarded. And the reward is handled. After the job is completely done. Tipping before the service is completed defeats the entire concept. You ever pay a kid before he cuts your grass? Of course not. Unless you're a grandma. And guess what, Brad? I ain't your damn grandma. We cannot survive in a society if people think they are owed rewards for doing things they're supposed to do. It's turned into a game of guilt and suckers. And I don't want to play anymore.

[Chick McGee]

Anymore.

[Jess Hooker]

Brad, you suck. I'm Reno collier.

[Chick McGee]

Someone's gonna be getting Brad. Someone's getting floor cheese.

[Jess Hooker]

I've had it with Brad and I'm not going back.

[Chick McGee]

All right, thank you very much. Thank you very much, Reno. We'll look forward to seeing you out in the road with Larry the cable guy. Thanks, reno.

[Jess Hooker]

Love you guys. Have a great week, everybody.

[Reno Collier]

You too, Reno.

[Chick McGee]

I got yelled at at the self checkout yesterday.

[Ace Cosby]

Bye, worker.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, what happened? I had the basket, you know, the green basket with the handles. And I got up there and I put my stuff and. And I put the basket on the floor underneath the shelf there. Don't put those on the floor. What am I. Where am I supposed to put it? I.

[Pat Godwin]

Where are you supposed to put it?

[Christy Lee]

Well, there's a little ledge there on the. On the checkout machine.

[Pat Godwin]

That's where the basket goes at the same time.

[Ace Cosby]

What was the big deal?

[Chick McGee]

It was.

[Pat Godwin]

Were you done with the basket?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh.

[Chick McGee]

You put the. You empty the basket onto that one shelf and you go the beep beep. And you put in the other shelf. And then I put the basket underneath it on the floor and I got yelled at. There should be a sign that said don't put the baskets on the floor. I don't know.

[Pat Godwin]

I don't know where you're supposed to put it.

[Chick McGee]

And then, well, I guess up my ass. I don't know. There's nowhere else to put it. I put on the floor. Never mind. Sorry. That's probably the worst job in the world anyway. Standing there watching people self checking out and you're looking for something to do. For God's sake. Mine didn't be a banana. Okay, well, thank you very much. Right now, the Bob and tom show, sponsored by better help. Let's talk some numbers here, ladies and gentlemen. The fee for therapy can be pretty steep. Up to maybe like 100, 250 bucks for your 50 minute session. 550 minutes. But instead of letting that add up, why not think about checking out betterhelp? Or the therapy is done online. You'll be saving up to 50% per session. The way it works is you register for better help by going online. And the therapy itself is done online. There are more than 5 million people already taking advantage of the better help system. It's all about hooking up with a therapist and having the convenience of being able to do it wherever you are. When you want to do it? Get all the details by going to betterhelp.com btshow the importance of therapy can't be overstated. Maybe even thinking about some stuff and you'd like to have a consultation with someone that can be very, very helpful. Your mental health is worth it. So find out what I'm talking about once again by visiting betterhelp.com BTShow the BTShow will knock 10% off your first month. Speaking of cash savings, it's BetterHelp. H E L P betterhelp.com BT Show. And once again, once you get hooked up with a therapist, by the way, you can switch therapists anytime, no additional fees. Once you get hooked up, you can do the therapy when you want to do it and where you want to do it at your convenience with your phone, your desktop, your iPad, whatever works for you. Once again, the details [e-mail] BTShow Coming up, we have, let's just say, birds in the trees with a very, very funny name. Ladies and gentlemen, great big we are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Pat Godwin, Jess Hooker. Christy Lee, Josh Arnold. Hi, I'm Chick McGee at the orange and souls.com sports desk. Hello, Tom.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, Chick McGee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello, hello, hello.

[Chick McGee]

You're talking about old phrases. Maybe your dad said got a couple. I don't even get this one.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

My dad would always say with reference to a attractive woman, she's hotter than a three peckered billy goat in a church fire.

[Jess Hooker]

Church fire?

[Chick McGee]

No, they got a lot going on there.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

I've heard a two headed billy goats. You see a two faced cow, remember those?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. But a three, three pecker billy goat.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

That's got to be pretty horny if you have three of them. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that's, I guess extra horny.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Ace Cosby]

Because we just have to deal with the one and we're horny right now.

[Chick McGee]

But the church fire, what is that? Where does that come in?

[Billy]

That's where the hot comes in.

[Ace Cosby]

It's also hot. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Really? Really.

[Chick McGee]

Hey.

[Billy]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Would that be hotter than a regular house fire? Well, churches typically.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Got your holy rollers in there, all the pews.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

A lot of wood.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. I thought what we would do right now is a little bit of today in history because we keep doing it at the wrong time.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes, you do.

[Chick McGee]

I thought we would do it.

[Christy Lee]

Today is no exception.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Time now for today at history. No more March 2025. Today's the Last day, Tom. Can you believe it?

[Ace Cosby]

Smell you later. March.

[Christy Lee]

The first quarter's already over.

[Pat Godwin]

Taxes are due in a couple weeks.

[Christy Lee]

Holy moly.

[Ace Cosby]

I may skip them this time.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

They've got enough of my money throughout the year.

[Christy Lee]

You know, you don't have to pay them. They got you, fool.

[Ace Cosby]

Unconstitutional.

[Christy Lee]

That's damn right it is.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. What's going to happen to your ass is unconstitutional.

[Ace Cosby]

I'm already taking care of. I'm good.

[Christy Lee]

Put me in jail.

[Ace Cosby]

I do them.

[Chick McGee]

You got them done already. Okay, now let's. I. I'll ask you this, Josh. I think you'll get this answer.

[Ace Cosby]

I am smart.

[Chick McGee]

You know how it's a two part parter.

[Christy Lee]

You know, I could tell smart people, but they say they're smart.

[Ace Cosby]

Right?

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

Two parter. Born in 1596. Was it a man or a woman named Renee Descartes?

[Ace Cosby]

That is a man.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, very good. With a girl name.

[Christy Lee]

And there's a lot of. Yes, there's an S in that life.

[Chick McGee]

Famously stated, I think, therefore I am. I think, therefore I am. Often turned by teenage boys. Boys being forced to read that in high school. I stink, therefore I am. Followed by a gaseous omission. Never. Not funny.

[Christy Lee]

Renee Descartes could not drive in a. A buggy.

[Ace Cosby]

Why not?

[Christy Lee]

Well, that was putting the horse before Descartes.

[Chick McGee]

It works.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know how I. It might. Okay.

[Chick McGee]

There's a Deland joke in there.

[Christy Lee]

Also silly at best.

[Ace Cosby]

I'm saving it for a rainy day. Carte something there too.

[Chick McGee]

No, I don't think so.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, there's absolutely something.

[Chick McGee]

Born in 1685, mark down from 17, Johann Sebastian Bach. And I've seen him in that row, right? Yeah, he looks great for being 400 years old.

[Christy Lee]

Didn't he say?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

A lot, probably, yeah. Oh, this is easy, Christy. Born in 1878. Jack Johnson. Not the singer.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, banana pancakes. What? You know jack johnson1 do I know who Jack. No, I don't. Nina's brother started Baby Shampoo Johnson and Johnson.

[Christy Lee]

The original heavyweight champion of the world. World. Jack Johnson.

[Pat Godwin]

Really?

[Chick McGee]

Then he was more famous for the Jack Johnson Grill.

[Christy Lee]

I thought he had the Jack Johnson blender. The first blender.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, is that what it was?

[Christy Lee]

That was. It could fill a room, I think.

[Chick McGee]

A lot of gears, Josh. Here you go. Born in 1928. Gordy Howe.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, yes, the old hockey player. The Gordie Howe. Hat trick. Remember what that was, Christy?

[Pat Godwin]

Nope.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, hey. Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

It's a goal, an assist and a Fight.

[Chick McGee]

Yes. And never lost one. Apparently. Very, very good fighter.

[Christy Lee]

Played into his 50s, right?

[Ace Cosby]

I think so.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

He was legendary.

[Chick McGee]

The great Christopher Walken. Born in this date in 1943. Who?

[Christy Lee]

Who is it?

[Chick McGee]

Christopher Walken.

[Ace Cosby]

Jess Hooker, give us your best. Chris Walken.

[Chick McGee]

Oh.

[Christy Lee]

Or Christopher. Christopher Walken.

[Chick McGee]

Walken.

[Billy]

Yeah. Who's Walton Walking?

[Chick McGee]

Christopher. The closets.

[Ace Cosby]

The walking closet.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Billy]

Tom.

[Ace Cosby]

Really? He hits that L. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Christopher Walken.

[Ace Cosby]

You say folks, like lady, nice to see you.

[Christy Lee]

Folks, folks.

[Chick McGee]

When I discuss Norfolk, Virginia. I do. You gotta hit that L big time.

[Christy Lee]

Say Christopher Walken again.

[Chick McGee]

Christopher Walken. Walden's Woods. I'm a walking. Yes.

[Christy Lee]

What if Christopher Walken had serious meal for breakfast? What would he have. Who would be eating and what would he be eating it out of?

[Chick McGee]

A bowl. This is American broadcast English.

[Christy Lee]

Christopher Wolkin was eating out of a.

[Ace Cosby]

Bowl with Marilyn Monroe.

[Pat Godwin]

Marilyn Monroe and Mario Andretti.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. Happy birthday to the great Angus Young. The guitarist.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

And they're touring this summer. Right.

[Ace Cosby]

Bit of a misnomer these days, isn't it?

[Chick McGee]

Angus old.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Angus. Angus B. 70 today. Tremendous.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes. I love.

[Chick McGee]

And they. They are. They are on tour on this date, Christy. Like this 1889, the Eiffel Tower opens up.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

In Paris and.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, is it in Paris?

[Chick McGee]

And it famously has no walls.

[Pat Godwin]

How did they open it up?

[Ace Cosby]

I know they never finished.

[Christy Lee]

Still ain't finished yet.

[Ace Cosby]

They're still waiting for the drywall.

[Christy Lee]

Slap some drywall up there.

[Chick McGee]

So much cigarette smoke, they couldn't see it for the first couple of weeks.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, there's something about. Why did Truce. What do they call the flag?

[Chick McGee]

Give up, Jimmy. Jimi Hendrix in the state lit his guitar on fire for the first time in 1967.

[Pat Godwin]

Did he do that a lot?

[Josh Arnold]

I think a couple times, yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, really?

[Christy Lee]

Two that I know of are Monterey and somebody else.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, they. I didn't get that.

[Pat Godwin]

There was a stunt people talked about.

[Chick McGee]

He didn't pick it up and keep playing it. That'd be a trick.

[Christy Lee]

Well, it was on fire.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

He did kind of slowly just light it on fire. It wasn't.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. Not that big of a deal. Okay, thank you very much. If you're just joining us, welcome to the Bob and Tom show. We are coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. Welcome to the party and the Orange Insole sports desk, current being manned by Chick Magee and Christy Lee is over there at the SILAC Insurance news desk. Christie.

[Pat Godwin]

Authorities in Florida arrested a couple caught having sex on top of a grave at A historic cemetery.

[Christy Lee]

So.

[Pat Godwin]

According to Villages News, a trooper with a canine stopped to give the dog a rest break near Wild Cow Prairie cemetery when he noticed a car parked, but no one in the immediate area. Upon further investigation, troopers discovered a man and a woman woman at the rear of the cemetery engaged in sexual activity on top of unknown grave number 43. The 46 year old woman who was allegedly found with drugs in her purse was arrested on drug charges and her male companion was hospitalized for an unexplained leg injury.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, maybe he fell off the tombstone.

[Pat Godwin]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

That's kind of hot. I mean, yes, it, if you read it's sexy in a cere. It's two living people. @ least it could have been, you know, really awful.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Billy]

They didn't take anybody up.

[Ace Cosby]

Yes, yes.

[Chick McGee]

Much worse. I don't really, I, I'm not a flower person. I thought I just put some seed on the grave.

[Ace Cosby]

You know, I never did get to make love to her. I guess this will do. Whack. Whack.

[Chick McGee]

Have you ever, you ever never done a graveyard?

[Ace Cosby]

I never have done it in a graveyard. No. No. I, I, I, I have no interest.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Ace Cosby]

That's how you get haunted.

[Chick McGee]

Oh yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

You don't mess around.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, you don't want to do that.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, we got enough trouble. We don't need trouble from ghosts.

[Chick McGee]

You're in the middle of it. You hear a ghost, Go get a, Get a tomb.

[Reno Collier]

Get a tomb.

[Ace Cosby]

I've heard of laying the ghost, but this is ridiculous. Huh?

[Christy Lee]

Are you saying you get yelled at during regular sex?

[Chick McGee]

Get a room. You heard you're in a cemetery, the ghosts are screaming at you, get a tomb, grandma. Never.

[Christy Lee]

Like, what about bufoon?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, the ghosts are all insane. They're requesting it.

[Chick McGee]

They do call it a boneyard. You ever done in the graveyard, Christy?

[Pat Godwin]

No.

[Christy Lee]

Awesome.

[Pat Godwin]

No interest.

[Chick McGee]

Is that on your bucket list?

[Pat Godwin]

No. God no.

[Christy Lee]

You should call your bedroom the Boneyard, Josh.

[Ace Cosby]

Hell yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Welcome to the boneyard.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. If I got a neon sign made for you boneyard that said boneyard, how would that go? Would you put it up in your.

[Ace Cosby]

I'd have to take down the one that says the slaughterhouse.

[Christy Lee]

Mouth closed, pants open, let's go.

[Pat Godwin]

Do you have any weird places you want to have sex, Tom?

[Chick McGee]

Tom, are you referring to locations, not.

[Ace Cosby]

A dating game situation?

[Christy Lee]

No. Bob Eubank said forever that that never happened. It was an urban legend. And then they, then they showed up.

[Ace Cosby]

Now there's footage.

[Christy Lee]

There's the tape. She Says it clear as sure she does in the.

[Ace Cosby]

Did she also have it written?

[Billy]

No, she didn't.

[Ace Cosby]

Okay. She just says it.

[Billy]

Says it. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Did it air?

[Billy]

Yeah. It aired?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Absolutely.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Billy]

Her name was.

[Ace Cosby]

The crowd goes berserk.

[Christy Lee]

If you look it up, you can find it easily.

[Chick McGee]

Christy. I'm sorry. Back to you.

[Pat Godwin]

Scientists have determined that the love heterosexual men have for breasts is innate and not imposed by culture.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Researchers studied the Dani tribe of western New guinea, where it was the norm for women to go topless until 20 years ago, when tribal women began covering up.

[Christy Lee]

This is my tribe.

[Pat Godwin]

It might be Danny. The new. The interview. Donnie. Men who came of age when all women were topless, as well as those who grew up in a society where women covered up all the guys in.

[Christy Lee]

The tribe when they were topless.

[Ace Cosby]

Isn't that what they call a collective memory? We all know that's where we get our first nourishment from. Therefore, we're attracted to them.

[Billy]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Both groups felt the same about breasts. The head researcher stated, what we can say is breasts are sexy naturally. So men like breasts. That's what they discovered.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Who writes these proposals? Yeah. We're gonna travel to a tribe in New guinea. We're gonna need $400,000. We're gonna try to decide if men like boobs. Some guy go, yeah, here's a check. Go ahead. Go for it.

[Pat Godwin]

The two groups did not differ in terms of how frequently they touched their partner's breasts during sexual intercourse. Divorce. Or how sexually aroused they feel when they see naked female.

[Christy Lee]

Now, Josh, would you say that you touch your partner's breast many times? Few times? Hardly at all.

[Ace Cosby]

And you've got. You've got a clipboard and you're wearing a tie. Asking me this?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

No. Swat away the ttse flies. What we'd like to know here now.

[Christy Lee]

Lies on the people being asked questions.

[Ace Cosby]

The Danny Tribe.

[Christy Lee]

Because they're in the tribe.

[Chick McGee]

Just 20 years ago, they finally started wearing shirts. I wonder if they're wearing, you know those. Those super bowl shirts for the team that lost.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, yeah. Buffalo Bills, your champions.

[Chick McGee]

Tts flies.

[Pat Godwin]

I bet the National Geographic subscriptions went away way down after 20 years.

[Ace Cosby]

Wouldn't it be funny if this is a good sight gag. It's like they're studying a tribe, and the tribe is reading National Geographic. And it's all pictures of guys.

[Christy Lee]

Guys in suits with briefcases and women in evening gowns.

[Chick McGee]

Yes. Look at how small this guy's neck is.

[Christy Lee]

His mouth doesn't jut out with two big Plates in him.

[Ace Cosby]

Now that's a funny New Yorker cartoon. They could do that.

[Chick McGee]

They wouldn't.

[Ace Cosby]

No, it has humor in it.

[Christy Lee]

Did you ever get a National Geographic and look in it for the topless?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. But never the boobs. You wanted to see. See, they were really low hangers.

[Chick McGee]

Well.

[Christy Lee]

And they. They were oddly shaped. Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

But I still looked. Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I purposely looked.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, sure. You still want to get a gander, but oh my gosh.

[Chick McGee]

I'm sure there are guys that were born in the early forties that are probably. They've got to be black and white. That's their. That. That's where they were imprinted. Would you mind putting on these beads? I know they're a little gaudy and there's a grass skirt. Shake them. Okay.

[Christy Lee]

Shake them.

[Ace Cosby]

I'll shake them, girl.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

This is. What a weird. How did they get the money for this?

[Pat Godwin]

I have no idea.

[Chick McGee]

Then part two. Are men attracted to asses?

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Well, we've covered Boobs Johnson.

[Ace Cosby]

Well, it turns out men in the Denali tribe like it touched. Do you know that?

[Chick McGee]

Time now to feel safe and secure at your home. Thanks to our friends at Simplisafe.

[Christy Lee]

That's right. Peace of mind is what Simplisafe can give you. And we trust Simplisafe here at the Bob and Tom studios. We've got cameras out in the hallway. There are their security system keeping watch over the Bob and Tom show. You know, traditional security systems only take action after someone's already broken in. That's too late. Simplisafe has active guard outdoor protection that can help prevent break ins before they happen. AI powered cameras backed by live professional monitoring agents monitor your property and detect suspicious activity. If someone's lurking around or acting suspiciously. Agents see and talk to them in real time. Activate spotlights, even contact the police. All before they have a chance to get inside your home. No long term contracts or cancellation fees at Simplisafe. And the monitoring plants start affordably around dollar a day. And don't forget about the 60 day satisfaction guarantee or your money back. So visit simplisafetom.com to claim that unbelievable offer. 50% off a new system with professional monitoring plan and your first month free. 50 off in the first month free. That's simply safetom.com there's no safe like.

[Chick McGee]

Simply say when we come back. Patient Patty G. You got a little something for us? Sure, I'd love to do something new. Okay, good. Look forward. We're certainly looking forward to that. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. And this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Greg Warren]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning even though we're not too much to look at. You can also watch the show on our YouTube channel.

[Chick McGee]

Show.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. In the O'Reilly Auto Parts studio, Christy Lee and Josh Arnold. Pat Godwin. Jess hooker, I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom. How are you, buddy? We have a Pat Godwin song here.

[Chick McGee]

That's the rumor. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. I think we've had our fee of.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Chick McGee in the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. We've had Christy Lee. We never did get that big, big story out about the birds, but we'll get to that. Maybe come on up tomorrow. Okay. Mr. Godwin has an album out there. It's called Hotel Pool and it's up there in the top five of comedy albums right now, streaming and etc. And is this from the album?

[Josh Arnold]

No, this is brand new. It's an idea I had over the weekend. May be good, it may not. We're going to find out together. We're going to go on a journey together.

[Chick McGee]

Can we, can we critique it as it goes?

[Josh Arnold]

No, let me just do it.

[Pat Godwin]

That's not it.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, enjoy yourself. Do whatever you want. I wish women came with something like Carfax. Call it Chick Facts. Find out how many divorces she's at. How many miles. How many men Is her body count? 20 or 110? I wish women came with a Chick Facts. Maybe I could relax if I knew her real age. 55 or 72. Is that an Adam's apple? Are those real boobs? Was she in rehab? Was she in jail? Why did her last two marriages fail? She's so pretty. Something must be wrong. Is her Spotify list Donny Osborne songs? Women came with something like Car Facts. So you could have avoid a psychomaniac. Car Facts for women.

[Billy]

I like it.

[Ace Cosby]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

That's very good.

[Josh Arnold]

Seed of an idea.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. You called it Chick.

[Josh Arnold]

I wouldn't be singing about men, though.

[Chick McGee]

You call. You called it Chick Facts. Didn't. Yeah, Chick.

[Pat Godwin]

Chick Facts.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Very nice.

[Christy Lee]

Chick Facts, huh?

[Josh Arnold]

Everybody should come with some sort of a. Their background. People should know your background.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Billy]

You should have a resume. You should go on a first date with a resume.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know, because mine wouldn't be so good.

[Billy]

Yeah, we know.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Mine wouldn't either. On paper, I look like a loser.

[Chick McGee]

Really? Yeah. You both have colorful backgrounds.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. Make us who we are. Today?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Mug shots.

[Pat Godwin]

I don't have a mug shot. Never been arrested. There's still time.

[Chick McGee]

You only have the one, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Just one.

[Chick McGee]

And he didn't really do anything wrong. You just were mouthing off like an idiot.

[Josh Arnold]

I did a lot wrong.

[Chick McGee]

I know, but you didn't get caught for all the stuff you did wrong.

[Josh Arnold]

It interfered with an investigation was the official charge.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, very good. I'm sorry. We can. We can move on. I really like that, Pat. Once again, Pat's new album, that song is not on there, but it'll be on the next one. I'm guessing we have Christy Lee. As I mentioned at the SILAC Insurance news desk, we got time for a couple quick stories.

[Pat Godwin]

Colorado woman was saddled with a vet bill of over $13,000 after her dog ate five pairs of her underwear.

[Ace Cosby]

Boy, don't you.

[Pat Godwin]

That's when you go, hey, yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

How much do we love this dog?

[Chick McGee]

I've been a third of the way there.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I spent five.

[Ace Cosby]

I know. Who am I kidding?

[Pat Godwin]

Actually, I spent eight because. Four on each knee.

[Christy Lee]

Four on each knee. Oh, knee.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

No, but I mean, I had a dog ate a bug at the age of like 12. After never having a problem. One of my dogs. Dogs, A few years ago, decided to eat a tennis ball.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And they had to go in.

[Pat Godwin]

And Ms. Sarah Oakley revealed the unusual mishap. Mishap. Mishap. On a GoFundMe page, explaining her dog, Retta got into some dirty laundry and ate a lot of her skims underwear, which, of course, is Kim Kardashian.

[Billy]

Those aren't cheap.

[Pat Godwin]

No, Ms. Oakley said. After 24 hours of vomiting, Retta was rushed to urgent Care, underwent immediate surgery to remove the foreign bodies from her intestine. The incident has left her with a staggering vet bill, and she's asking for $4,000 to help cover part of Retta's surgeries.

[Ace Cosby]

What, like a GoFundMe or something?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

13. That sounds a little high.

[Pat Godwin]

That does sound high.

[Chick McGee]

I want to say. I think it was 4,000 if she.

[Pat Godwin]

Went emergency care, though. That's a lot higher.

[Billy]

Yeah, it almost doubles.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. A friend of mine had a dog that ate a. Stockings. What are those? Emergency.

[Billy]

The pantyhose.

[Chick McGee]

Pantyhose.

[Christy Lee]

Nylons.

[Chick McGee]

And that was. They had to.

[Billy]

Not up here.

[Chick McGee]

They had to cut them from stem to stern on that one.

[Pat Godwin]

This is kind of funny. She asked users to maybe share a post so Kim Kardashian might see it and come through with a solution like an edible underwear line.

[Chick McGee]

I Mean, isn't it true that the reason the dog was attracted to them is because they were game worn? If you were.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Billy]

There's lots, lots of dogs like that.

[Christy Lee]

Oh yeah, Puppy dogs. That's why they like shoes and.

[Chick McGee]

And Christy Lee, didn't you have an issue?

[Pat Godwin]

Tampons.

[Chick McGee]

Your dog ate a bunch of tampons.

[Pat Godwin]

Not a bunch, but yeah, I thought.

[Christy Lee]

You said too, there was something. One of your dogs ate the crotch out of one of them.

[Pat Godwin]

No, that wasn't my dog.

[Chick McGee]

I mean, I wonder who that was. With that kind of logic, maybe. What are they called? Skins.

[Pat Godwin]

Skims with an M. Like Kim.

[Chick McGee]

Sorry. Yeah. Maybe she should make. Make edible skims.

[Ace Cosby]

That's what the lady says.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I mean that makes sense. What are the. Are they so expensive because they're just fancy or are they.

[Pat Godwin]

They're not fancy looking. No, they're just.

[Billy]

They're meant to be invisible underneath. Yeah, yeah. Underneath a dress and tight fitting pants.

[Pat Godwin]

Depending on what size. I mean they have like. They can be like shorts or.

[Christy Lee]

I see.

[Pat Godwin]

So I don't know how big her skims were.

[Chick McGee]

Couldn't she. This is Josh's logic. I'll use it though. Couldn't she raise money by going on only fans and selling her game worn underwear?

[Billy]

It sounds like she's out of underwear.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, right. Jess is right.

[Chick McGee]

She may have buy new, take the dog for a walk.

[Billy]

There you go. You can sell your gym clothes online. Lots of men will buy you gym clothes and then you sweat in them and then you mail them to them.

[Chick McGee]

I'm surprised Kim Kardashian wears underwear.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, we don't know that she does. I know she makes a lot of money selling those.

[Ace Cosby]

They are savvy business women. Yeah, Kardashians.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they're making money.

[Chick McGee]

What does it mean if your underwear smells like dog treats?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, God.

[Chick McGee]

What does that say about dog treats?

[Ace Cosby]

You know, I've never.

[Chick McGee]

I don't.

[Ace Cosby]

I haven't smelled a dog treat, but.

[Christy Lee]

I went, ah, what do they smell like?

[Chick McGee]

The old Jose is old joke. I. It's. I think it's with the Frenchman on the bus.

[Ace Cosby]

I want to do Americanized.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, okay. That's certainly. That's certainly a classic. The big story coming up tomorrow on the show, the one that Christy was afraid to read. We'll get to that tomorrow.

[Pat Godwin]

You set the tone early that it could be a problem.

[Christy Lee]

You did set.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, we hit our limit. Yeah, we.

[Chick McGee]

Oh man, you really did.

[Ace Cosby]

Our quota was met.

[Chick McGee]

I enjoyed your new song, Pat. Thank you. We'll look forward to seeing you everybody tomorrow. Thank you very much. Don't forget to get us the phrases your mom or dad used to say. But back in the day. Here's the last one. My Granny Pearl would see a girl with a small bathing suit. Our writer writes, and she'd say, looks like she's wearing two band aids and a cork. Oh, God, that's a good one. Send to shares bob and tomobandtom.com we are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Greg Warren]

For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom show contest rules, go to bobandtom.com contest rules or just scroll down to the bottom of the page and see contest rules. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Michael Rosenbaum and his Small Bill co stars take you behind the scenes of one of the greatest shows of all time.

[Christy Lee]

We're gonna watch every episode.

[Chick McGee]

Join us.

[Tom Griswold]

It's big talk.

[Chick McGee]

You remember when I had to shave my head?

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, I think I was angry with.

[Chick McGee]

This one on Smallville.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I mean, I get it.

[Christy Lee]

The scene you did.

[Chick McGee]

And this is the one that got me fired. Okay.

[Greg Warren]

What?

[Christy Lee]

Here we go.

[Chick McGee]

Hello. Love the excursions with me and welling. It's everything that Superman stands for.

[Tom Griswold]

It's Talkville Talk.

[Greg Warren]

Though we always talk about it.

[Chick McGee]

It's a great thing.

[Tom Griswold]

The Smallville Rewatch podcast. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.