The BOB & TOM Show - March 4, 2026

Summary

---

The BOB & TOM Show – March 4, 2026

Detailed Episode Summary

---

Episode Overview

Main Theme:
This episode of The BOB & TOM Show is a classic display of the show’s signature blend: quick-witted comedy, playful banter, offbeat news, and music. The hosts, including Tom, Chick, Christy Lee, Pat Godwin, Josh, Ace Cosby, and guest Jess Hooker, riff on everything from breaking in cowboy boots to reinventing classic TV, novelty foods, and the everyday absurdities found in news and daily life. The tone is loose, self-aware, and packed with tangents, callbacks, and in-jokes—a prime example of why this show is a long-standing favorite.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Fashion & Footwear Follies (03:40–06:00)

• Christy Lee’s Cowboy Boots: Christy shows off her new boots, bought for a Western-themed charity event, prompting a discussion on breaking in shoes and possible careers as celebrity shoe-breakers.
  • Notable Quote:
    “They look great. Don’t they have people whose job is to break in shoes for celebrities?” — Chick (04:31)
• Tom admits to washing new jeans 50 times before wearing them, launching a debate on clothes and comfort.

---

2. Classic TV Reverie: “Hee Haw” & Reboots (06:36–09:10)

• The crew reminisces about “Hee Haw,” country music, and whether it’s due for a reboot.
  • Tom claims not to have watched it, but others share memories and laugh about its simple, star-studded format.
  • Memorable Moment:
    Tom marvels at the quality of musicians on “Hee Haw”—“Never lose sight of the fact the musicians on that show were stellar.” (08:25)
• Eric Clapton’s rumored praise of Roy Clark (08:32–08:46).

---

3. Pat Godwin’s Musical Interludes (10:23–13:55)

• Songs and Jokes:
  • “Living Next to You” (Gangsta Folk): An original comedic story-song (“I’m gonna slow dance with your mother at the backyard barbecue, get her all hot and bothered, even though she’s 82…” — Pat, 13:17)
  • Later, “Chris Pistro”—Satirical country character with “Chris pissed her off again” (59:30–60:51).
• Piano Bar Bit: Relating to tiki bar musicians and the struggle of repeated requests for “American Pie” and “Margaritaville.” (138:22–140:02)

---

4. Toothpaste Talk & Weird Food (23:07–24:41)

• Letter from a listener about browsing global food products (including KFC flavored toothpaste) in Australia.
  • “Why does Australia get all the fun toothpaste?” — Christy (24:32)
• The team recalls kangaroo jerky and wonders about fast food made from rabbit (“Bunny King, home of the hopper” — Tom, 25:24).

---

5. Inventor’s Corner: Cat Food, Appliances, & “Tomisms” (31:00–34:18)

• Mouse-Flavored Cat Food: Discussing “Mouser,” a real cat food brand featuring mouse meat.
  • “Cancel your appointment with Shark Tank… a cat food made of mice exists.” — Listener Letter (33:00)
• Nicknaming and branding tangents: “Mises Pieces,” “Meow Meese,” “Of Mice and Meow.”
• Tom’s classic confusion with household object names (“visual Thomism” and “wind cooker” for air fryer).

---

6. Names, Linguistics & Accents (20:58–22:36)

• The group debates proper pronunciation of ethnic names (Luis/Lewis, Caesar/Cesar) and on-air accent “stank” (e.g., news anchor José Díaz-Balart).
• Christy and Tom share awkward real-life stories about grocery encounters and language mishaps.

---

7. News Stories & Letters Segment (38:39–71:12)

• Hourglass Ashes: Listener shares story about family using deceased father’s ashes in an hourglass so he “joins” family game night (46:27–47:37).
• Toasters Picking Up Radio Signals: Tom describes AM radio tower interference (27:54–28:20).
  • Gilligan’s Island talk—fantasizing about a dark “serial killer” reboot (29:20–29:35).
• Sports Chat:
  • Kyler Murray’s potential NFL release ($36.8 million guaranteed, 61:19)
  • Tom Brady-Logan Paul WWE feud (67:12–69:07)
  • World Baseball Classic preview and supermarket finds (49:52–50:17)
• Birds Hitting Windows: Christy laments bird-window collisions and muses about home remedies (71:45–73:11, revisited at 158:13).

---

8. Shark Tank Pitches: Shoe-Breaking Service (39:03–43:12)

• Tom riffs on a service for breaking in shoes using “a diverse group of human beings… kind of down on their luck.”
  • “It hints of slavery… Well, let’s go with indentured servitude.” — Chick (40:33)
• References to Queen Elizabeth II and footmen breaking in shoes, plus breaking in techniques (thick socks, hair dryer, shoe stretchers).

---

9. Food Fads & Anchovy Rant (76:13–81:50)

• Debates about Caesar salads, anchovies on pizzas, and why certain toppings went out of fashion.
  • “I don’t like Caesar dressing, but I like the salad part.” — Christy (79:48)
• Jess Hooker reveals her homemade Caesar dressing includes anchovies.

---

10. Viral News Debunked: The “Trapeze Incident” (128:38–132:12)

• The much-shared story about a trapeze artist having diarrhea over the audience is revealed a hoax.
  • Tom: “If you’ve seen this, it’s floating around—pun intended.” (129:03)
  • “Who’s checking up on Snopes?” — Chick (130:07)

---

11. Microchipping Workers? Tech & Privacy Worries (151:28–153:11)

• Washington state bill would ban employers from microchipping workers.
  • “Mr. Godwin, you spent 27 minutes at the water cooler…” — Tom, imagining HR’s use.
• Would you want your medical records microchipped? ("That's where we're headed..." — Pat, 153:10)

---

12. Circling Back: Show In-Jokes & “Easter Bisque” (Throughout; Highlight at 138:22–140:08)

• Multiple segments riff on failed jokes; “Easter bisque” becomes a new show shorthand for bad material, superseding their old standby “turducken.”
• “Easter bisque is the new code word for failure.” — Tom (138:34)
• Everyone piles on with more “bisque-based” puns and wordplay, embracing comedic flops as a communal badge.

---

13. Bird Watching Tech & Listener Letters (158:05–159:49)

• Discussion of birdhouse cameras, raccoon thieves, and at-home wildlife surveillance.
• Christy admits to feeding a trapped bird in an airport with Baked Lays.

---

Quotes, Callbacks, and Memorable Moments

• "These boots are made for humping." — Pat (04:07), a cheeky twist.
• "If loving Hyundai is wrong, I don't want to be right..." — Christy (15:17), in ad-read sing-song.
• “Why does Australia get all the fun toothpaste?” — Christy (24:32)
• “Breaking in shoes for other people—often done by friends, sometimes by professionals… usually for celebrities.” — Christy (41:01)
• “Cancel your Shark Tank appointment…there’s a cat food made of mice.” — Listener (33:00)
• “Easter bisque is the new turducken.” — Tom (138:34)
• “I like Maestaroni.” — Tom, on odd cat food names (33:45)
• “Hold the anchovies” — dissected for its comedy-troupe history (87:26–89:23; 76:47–81:50)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Christy’s Cowboy Boots & Shoe-breaking Dilemma: 03:40–06:00
• Hee Haw, Country Music & TV Reboots: 06:36–09:10
• Pat Godwin Performs "Living Next to You": 13:47–13:53
• Mouse-flavored Cat Food Discussion: 31:00–34:18
• Hourglass Ashes Listener Letter: 46:27–47:37
• Debunking "Trapeze Artist Poops" Viral Story: 128:50–132:14
• Microchipping Workers Segment: 151:28–153:11
• "Easter Bisque" Joke Thread: 138:22–140:08 (and recurring)
• Wiener Dog Race on Ice: 90:06–92:24
• Anchovy Pizza, Caesar Salads, and Anchovy Paste: 76:13–81:50

---

Episode Tone & Style

• Conversational, quick banter, self-referential with recurring in-jokes (“Tomisms,” “Easter bisque”).
• Frequent digressions, callbacks, and running gags (cowboy boots, musical requests, odd flavored toothpaste).
• Irreverent but accessible: the show tacks from sincere reminiscence to edgy satire, satire, and offbeat advice columns without missing a beat.

---

For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode is a smorgasbord of humor, absurd news, musical parodies, and oddball problem-solving—classic BOB & TOM. Notably, the “Easter bisque” running gag makes the hosts’ willingness to bomb—and laugh at it—part of the show’s fun. There’s no shortage of classic Americana, slapstick riffs on life’s minor annoyances, total digressions, and a healthy disrespect for authority, jargon, and boring news.
If you enjoy breezy, unfiltered comedic camaraderie, this episode is a great encapsulation of the show’s enduring appeal.

Transcript

[A]

Close your eyes. Exhale. Feel your body relax and let go of whatever you're carrying today.

[B]

Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts.

[C]

Oh my gosh, they're so fast.

[A]

And breathe.

[B]

Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw

[A]

the discount they gave me on my first order.

[B]

Oh, sorry.

[C]

Namaste.

[B]

Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order.

[C]

1-800-contacts lifelock.

[A]

How can I help? The IRS said I filed my return, but I haven't. One in four tax paying Americans has paid the price of identity fraud.

[B]

What do I do?

[A]

My refund, though.

[C]

I'm freaking out.

[B]

Don't worry.

[A]

I can fix this. Lifelock fixes identity theft guaranteed and gets

[D]

your money back with up to $3 million in coverage.

[B]

I'm so relieved.

[A]

No problem. I'll be with you every step of the way.

[D]

One in four was a fraud paying American.

[A]

Not anymore.

[D]

Save up to 40% your first year.

[A]

Visit lifelock.com podcast terms apply.

[C]

It's the Bob and Tom Show.

[A]

Okay, here we go.

[E]

You can be mean to me. Mean as you want to be. Just say anything that you like. You can be nasty and catty and cruel and unusual. Twist my nose with your fingers. Trip me while I carry liquids. But as you pin me down my arms down on the ground as your spit drips into my face Deep in the back of your mind remember at some point you'll have to fall asleep. Yeah and when you fall asleep into your room I'll creep. Did something move in the dark neath your bed? And then a voice you hear calling out loud and clear. A voice that is your own. I said saying. There are things that one can do with Bengay, Nair and super glue. A package of indelible dye. Why would a guy such as I ever buy indelible dye? Blue as the sky. Don't ask me why. This catalog I found so Sells roaches by the pound. Millipedes, centipedes too. They say the meek shall inherit because they stay up late and change the will. And when you fall asleep into your room I'll creep. Did something move in the dark neath your bed? And then a voice you hear it's calling loud and clear. A voice that is your own. A voice that's saying.

[A]

That's all I have.

[C]

I love that. Hello from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, it's the Bob and Tom Show.

[D]

Ladies,

[C]

there's Christy Lee.

[D]

Hello.

[C]

Well, you fussed. You're all done up. You're all.

[B]

Yeah, I got all fussy for you. She's all.

[C]

She made an effort.

[D]

Look at that.

[A]

Wait a second. And you've got all black. God, are you going to be doing, like, a dance program?

[B]

Check this out.

[D]

Look.

[B]

What I just.

[A]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. She's got beautiful cowboy boots. What's happening here?

[C]

What's that made.

[A]

Eel, snake, mongoose.

[C]

What are they made out of?

[B]

I don't know. It's called Arat.

[F]

Those boots are made for humping.

[A]

What's the. What's the occasion?

[B]

I'm hosting our charity event.

[C]

Another radio show later today.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

I'm sharing a charity event that's a Western theme, and I had to buy cowboy boots for him for it, and I don't feel like I should wear them the night of without breaking them in.

[D]

You're right.

[A]

That makes sense.

[B]

So I have to wear them for a few days.

[C]

All right.

[D]

They look great.

[C]

Don't they have people who. That's their job. They break in shoes for celebrities.

[B]

Well, yeah, but how they know what their foot's going to be like?

[C]

I'm just telling you. I think I've heard of this.

[B]

Huh.

[A]

You know, I would love that.

[B]

Yeah, me, too, because this is.

[C]

You would hire a guy to break in your shoes.

[A]

I've been. I've been wearing. I was wearing a different pair of shoes this week just in the.

[B]

To break them in, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But I didn't wear them again today because my feet hurt too much.

[B]

Yeah. I'm kind of worried about. And, you know, it's always one shoe.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

One's perfect. And then there's always something wrong with the other.

[A]

Is there a apparatus one can get. I just. I know they make shoe stretchers. I've seen those.

[C]

Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Tighten it up, and it stretches them out. I don't know if that's how much they help.

[A]

Yeah, you just have to wear them.

[B]

Yep. That's what I thought.

[A]

But I think you're right. There are probably people that.

[C]

Yeah. I think Bono would have a. Yeah.

[B]

A footwear.

[C]

A guy that wears the shoes before.

[A]

I would mind that for jeans. When I get a new pair of jeans, I leave them in the laundry room, and it is. Every time I do a load, I throw them in again without wearing them.

[B]

What do you wear? Buy them so big that they fall off of you?

[A]

No, I just want them to be

[C]

worn out and don't they shrink up a little bit and they're.

[B]

You don't wear. You don't buy pre washed jeans.

[A]

Yeah, but you got to wash them rather 50 times before they get to that place where you like them. No, no. I take these for example. Not true.

[C]

What. What. What are you talking about?

[A]

Washed a million times.

[B]

He pre. He buys pre washed jeans. Chick follow this. And then washes them 50 more times before he wears it.

[A]

But if we're talking clothes, I think we.

[C]

So they're pre. Pre washed.

[A]

You're. You're ignoring the.

[C]

I didn't get a chance. There's Josh Arnold. There's Ace Cosby. Of course I'm chicken. Hello, Pat Godwin. My. My goodness. That shirt says hello. You know it says morning y'.

[B]

All.

[C]

That's what it says.

[A]

That is. Are they re. That share shirt meant to say sorry.

[F]

Same shirt, different day.

[A]

Same. That shirt for that word. That word is complicated. Don't drop the H, you idiot.

[C]

I never really know it before.

[G]

Just.

[C]

I really don't care anymore.

[A]

That shirt. That shirt you. Looks like you're going to reboot Hee Haw. And by the way, why haven't they rebooted Hee Haw?

[B]

That's a great question.

[C]

It was so popular unnatural of the formula and just get two new guys.

[A]

It's easy. They could get all the stars to come in because they all live in Nashville anyway and they would film those things. Hee Haw was if you never saw. Was all pre recorded.

[B]

Tom never saw it. I don't know.

[C]

There's no way Tom.

[B]

I see he haul chicken. I grew up watching it.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Here's Freddie Fender.

[A]

Yeah, but I mean now is the time.

[B]

Yeah, it's very big. Country music is very big.

[A]

But also, I mean that kind of humor I think would be because it was sort of family oriented and goofy and found home.

[F]

What was that song? I searched the world over thought I found true love.

[C]

You led another and you were gone

[B]

now you was gone.

[C]

You was gone.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, you're right. I never watched it.

[C]

And there was a running gag with Archie Campbell. He was the manager at the Open Arms Hotel.

[A]

And are any of those people still alive?

[D]

There's no way. Junior samples is oh boy.

[F]

Or samples or Grandpa Joe, Right?

[C]

Yeah. Grandpa Jones.

[D]

There was one chick that was so.

[C]

Oh, they're your Gunilla Hutton.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean this formula is. I mean does someone own the right. We should. Maybe we should do it. Just buy the rights to the name. He has what we need to do.

[C]

Here's Susan Ray let's get some super hot chicks.

[F]

And Buck Owens was even on there slumming it up.

[C]

Oh, yeah. No, he was.

[A]

He was the main guy.

[C]

Yeah. And Roy Clark were the men.

[A]

And Roy Clark, awesome guitar player.

[F]

Oh, one of the best.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Never it never lose sight of the fact that the musicians on the show Hee Haw were stellar.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Did someone or did I dream this? Someone asked Eric Clapton. They said good morning to him. And they said, what's the greatest guitar world guitarist in the world doing right now? And Clapton said, I don't know. You'd have to call Roy Clark or something like that.

[D]

I always heard he said Prince.

[C]

Oh, he's a prince. Okay. All right. Well, that's quite different.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

But I bet Prince appreciated Roy Clark. And I bet Roy Clark appreciated Prince.

[F]

Roy Clark and the Odd Couple.

[C]

I remember there is a Roy Clark episode of the Odd Couple where he's playing. I'm not sure what it is, but it's just slipping. Amazing. Or as Tom would say in a man.

[A]

He had that great song. That song yesterday when I was young.

[D]

I think that's a really handsome shirt.

[B]

I do too. Yeah, I like it. Again, not come in and say, I like.

[F]

She did say that.

[A]

It looks great, but it. For those, obviously. It's kind of a black check. Large.

[C]

Well, this. This fabulous shirt is up on the Instagram. I think Jason has a picture of it. Pat did the me the honor of.

[B]

Do we have a picture?

[F]

I walked in the room and everybody was laughing.

[D]

Oh, if I had been here, I would have been.

[C]

Picture of Pat in his shirt.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Smiling.

[C]

There it is. That's a nice pose, isn't it?

[F]

I think you said it looks like a tablecloth is what you said.

[C]

I did not. You said, what's the problem? Tablecloth. That's what you said.

[A]

No, he's correct. It does look like a table.

[B]

No, it doesn't look great.

[A]

No, I would have said the same thing. But maybe you can do diva. What is the most country Pat Godwin song out there?

[C]

Well, what do you mean?

[F]

Oh, living next to you, probably.

[C]

What about.

[A]

Yeah, next to you?

[B]

I'm not familiar with that.

[C]

What about the.

[D]

The yeah, you are.

[C]

Rap song? What is it? You know, that's folk.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Cultural appropriation at its finest.

[A]

You want to do a little. You can do a little gangster folk for us. That'll be a nice way to start country.

[B]

Yeah, that's.

[F]

No, I could do the living next to you if you'd like.

[B]

Living next to you.

[F]

You want that now or you want it? What? How are we doing on time?

[A]

We're doing fine. You can do it right now.

[C]

What do you think you are.

[A]

How we doing on time? When we come back?

[F]

Show biz vet.

[A]

Hey, how are we doing when we come back? We had an idea proposed yesterday on the show that it turns out is out there and is happening, and you're going to be stunned when you hear what it is. Oh, but first, Pat and his new song called.

[C]

No, He's Put his Guitar Away. Wait a minute.

[A]

What are you doing over there?

[F]

I'm trying to remember it. Keep talking.

[B]

Why don't we just come back?

[F]

Yeah, let's come back.

[A]

Okay, then.

[F]

Four changes. There's about 17 of them.

[A]

Okay, we have. I guess I'll wait for this.

[B]

What guitar playing is all about.

[F]

Yeah, yeah. But you caught me off guard.

[A]

You mean multiple chords?

[F]

Yeah, multiple chords.

[A]

If it's punk.

[C]

If it's punk rock, usually to apologize. I don't know what we were thinking to ask you to play a song.

[F]

Now, the Rolling Stones, they used to concerts. They'd have to listen to their old albums to remember the songs. I'm gonna have to listen to the song to remember it.

[C]

You're likening yourself to the rol. Rolling Stones.

[F]

I always do.

[C]

Okay.

[F]

And the Beatles.

[A]

Well, there was a. There's a famous. There was a great news story about when the Stones embarked on their tour. The. They were rehearsing in a. They rented a big space in Toronto. And we were talking to Chuck Lavelle, the great keyboard player from the Allman Brothers and from the Rolling Stones. And Chuck was saying, yeah, they would go into this thing, and then he would have them play old Stone songs for the band. Play Painted Black. And they'd play. Okay, I remember that. And then they'd go and they'd rehearse it. So. Yeah, sure, I get that.

[C]

Pat.

[A]

Pat sometimes called the. The sixth stone.

[F]

I was in Maroon 6 when I got fired.

[B]

I hate when that happens.

[A]

So we've got Pat Godwin in a cowboy shirt, kind of Christy Lee and cowboy boots.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're the Porter Wagner and Dolly Parton of radio this morning.

[B]

Should have worn a different shirt.

[A]

Wait a minute. Hang on a second. Pat is making a call.

[D]

He's listening to the song he's gonna play.

[C]

He's listening to the song he's gonna play.

[B]

You could wait till the break.

[A]

As an independent observer of this program.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Did Pat not volunteer this song?

[B]

Yeah, he did. He.

[C]

Yeah, we. I want to hear Gangsta Folk, which I Think he can do in his sleep?

[D]

I even kind of argued against gangsta folk, and now I'm wondering if I should.

[F]

Yeah, you want to hear it? I'm ready now.

[B]

All right, go ahead.

[F]

Oh, you never return my rake. And you don't cut your lawn. You play Skinner on the weekends, loud some nights till the crack of dawn. Turn it down. You got old dog cars on block, six kids, a dead oak tree, and your braless elderly mom is on the porch for all to see. Oh, I've never been so annoyed living next to you at tonight's neighborhood party. Tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna slow dance with your mother at the backyard barbecue, get her all hot and bothered, even though she's 82. I'll put on Free Bird and get your mom to dance. She'll have one hand on my butt and the other down my pants, all dirty. Dance with your mama. Make her boobs jiggle and shake. Then I'll bet you by tomorrow you'll return my rake.

[A]

Ah, yeah.

[F]

Remember it?

[A]

Sorry, everybody. It's a story song.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Without getting into the politics of it, for those of you that were maybe, perhaps, watching some news in the last couple of days, I do find it rather amusing when certain people go to testify and have a little bit of cleavage. Oh, Senator. Well, you know the bosom of our guest today.

[B]

The boys. Oh, this way to distract a man.

[C]

I got you.

[D]

You're talking about Christy Domes.

[A]

She has nice hair, too.

[C]

Okay, you noticed one of the congressmans

[B]

who's looking at her hair now?

[A]

Mrs. Domes.

[D]

I mean, boobs.

[C]

I mean, can't. As the.

[A]

As the titular head of. I mean, the. I love that word. Okay, where were we?

[D]

Oh, I know.

[A]

We got a car girl here in the room.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

She is Christy Lee.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Christie's.

[C]

The hell was that?

[A]

We've determined the fact that Christy has had, as individuals, how many automobiles one has owned in one's life?

[B]

Over 20.

[A]

And Christie, by far the most. And at one point, when I first met Christie, she had a new car every year. Yeah, that was your thing. But now you've got a car you've settled on. It's a Hyundai.

[B]

That's right. The Hyundai Tucson Hybrid. And did you know that Hyundai is having a getaway sales event right now? You can get away with the deal, so. Right.

[A]

Get away.

[B]

It almost feels wrong.

[C]

If love and Hyundai is right, I don't want to be.

[B]

There you go.

[C]

No, no, backwards. Got it. Go ahead.

[B]

Including their suv' like the Hyundai Santa Fe or Santa Fe hybrid. My, of course, favorite, the Tucson. Tucson hybrid. And then there's the bold and stylish Elantra. That's a beautiful sedan and it's loaded with the latest tech. And that car will move, trust me. Or the all electric. It's from the future, Ionic 5 or Ionic 9. So get down to your local Hyundai dealer and get away with a deal you'll love during our Hyundai getaway sales event. Visit HyundaiUSA.com for all the details.

[A]

That's Hyundai USA.com Shakespeare, of course, drove the Ionic pentameter.

[D]

Sorry, I have to stop laughing.

[A]

You love that I have been working in with my daughter on this. You should watch I'm losing my mind.

[C]

It's so deadwood on hbo. They sneak that in toward the end of the series. Like a whole season where they do the I am big, whatever the hell it is torture.

[A]

It's called the getaway sales event from Hyundai because A, you can get a great vehicle and get away from all this and B, you're gonna get away with an incredible deal. Hyundai, thank you very much. Coming up, we have great stuff in the news today, including. I was holding my breath for this one, an app with regard to getting penile implants. It's unbelievable what people are doing. Yeah. It's when you find out what it does, it's absolutely hilarious. I believe it will. What do they call it? People are going to use it for something that's called off label use. You know, in the world of pharmaceuticals. This is going to be an off label app, which is a concept that I just invented. I'm working on making it into an idea. You're welcome. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[G]

Square Up, a new podcast from Andre Berto.

[C]

Yo, what's going on, man? It's Andre Berto, two time world champ

[G]

behind the scenes of life as a professional boxer.

[C]

People want to see more.

[A]

They want to see who you are as a fighter.

[C]

Like I said, the time is now. I really wanted to do that. Sit down from a fighter's perspective.

[G]

Find out what it really means to be a fighter inside and outside the ring.

[A]

This fight game is such a roller coaster.

[C]

Square up, follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[A]

Let's go.

[C]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee Hello. Hello. Indeed. There's Pat Godwin.

[F]

Hey, Chick.

[C]

Yeehaw. There's Josh.

[B]

Arnold and I are gonna square dance later.

[C]

Oh, that'd be all right. Ace Cosby. I don't know what that means.

[A]

It sounds like all a man.

[C]

All the man.

[A]

It sounds like the name of some dictator.

[D]

What?

[C]

Colonel Gaddafi and Colonel Left.

[D]

I like trout. Alaman.

[A]

What is that?

[D]

I think it's pretty much almonds on it.

[C]

Almondine.

[A]

I like pie. I like pie a la mode. That's our theme for this morning.

[C]

I remember PI R squared. That is funny.

[D]

Well, I remember the Alamode.

[A]

You're the one.

[C]

If you'd like to see Pat's shirt, it's up on the. Chick McGee on Instagram. It's just a glorious shirt.

[A]

You may have to. You may have to warn people. It might cause seizures.

[C]

Oh, and there is a asterisk. It's not safe for work because he's. He's bringing the heat this morning.

[F]

I'm going AC dc You need to

[B]

unbutton another button, buddy.

[A]

Acdc.

[C]

Show them you're open for business.

[A]

Like this?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Look at that.

[C]

Holy hell.

[F]

A little bit of gray.

[D]

You got Papa's medallion on.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

Oh, is your. Is your ass hair similarly my dead uncle bleached?

[D]

You say ass.

[C]

You think Pat has ass hair?

[B]

He doesn't have ass.

[C]

He'll tell us you and I don't have ass.

[A]

Remember how Bob famously had that looked like he had a ferret coming out of his gluteal cleft.

[C]

Corny the ferret.

[A]

It's just, like, very odd. Sorry. Sorry. Bob, we have a number of letters here.

[C]

Oh, that's exactly right. Letters on the Bob and Tom show. Brought to you by. Sleep number Sleep number bed. Who wants to go on their Sleep number bed? Say hi. Those opposed? Tom, your turn.

[A]

Letter reading.

[C]

I'm.

[A]

Well, the letters I was going to read, I can't read right now. Because you can do it.

[D]

We believe in you.

[A]

No, we needed a special guest in the studio for me to read, and that apparently can't happen for technical reasons.

[D]

There's a culinary tip. Mike says my wife mixes Caesars and ranch dressing for her salads. Christy, I know you're out.

[B]

I'm out. Yep.

[D]

He says don't knock it till you try it.

[C]

No kidding.

[D]

Peace, love, and mashed potatoes. Would you guys try that?

[C]

I would. I would try that.

[D]

Cut the Caesar a little.

[A]

Why ruin a good Caesar?

[D]

You know I'm with you when you want Caesar. You want that Tang, you want that Flavor.

[C]

What's it taste like that blue cheese?

[B]

Is.

[C]

That's. That's bitey.

[B]

Is it bite dressing or blue cheese crumbles?

[D]

All of it is. All of it. I wish I liked it.

[A]

No blue cheese.

[B]

Oh, I love the crumbles. Hate that you don't like no blue cheese.

[A]

Oh, that's. That. That changes it really? Says the man. It should be a Cesar salad, by the way.

[D]

Is that true?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Why are you saying that?

[A]

Because it was invented by a guy named Cesar in Mexico.

[D]

How do you. How do you know? He still didn't pronounce it Caesar.

[A]

Yeah, he lives in Mexico. He doesn't do it for the convenience of American broadcast English.

[D]

This is a mistake I made last week in real life. All right? I'm talking to a Mexican gentleman. L U I S. Is his name Luis?

[C]

Yep, yep.

[D]

And I said, look, man, it's really great talking to you, Luis. And he goes, louis, no kidding. And I wanted to go, aren't you from Mexico? I wanted to go now. Did you change it to Lewis? Because so many people just called you Lewis or Luis.

[B]

You had it right.

[C]

My favorite is Jose Maria Valdar or something. The NBC Nightly News on Sunday.

[A]

He's great.

[C]

He drips the. He has the accent when he. He has just a straight ahead flat accent. Unless he gets to something Spanish, he

[A]

puts the stank on Mr. Ballard.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

He's my favorite newscaster.

[D]

I love that.

[C]

No kidding.

[A]

And he always ends it with a great. He says something like, thank you for the. The privilege of allowing me to. That guy's great.

[C]

Well, that sounds like groveling to me.

[A]

No, no, he's just. He's. He's classic.

[C]

And I've grovelled.

[D]

I know. From grovel.

[A]

My favorite was Christy and I. This. We used to go to the same grocery store that used to have.

[C]

Oh, when you were a couple. Yeah.

[A]

No, no, but it used. They used to have a smoothie bar.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Which for reasons I can't understand, why did they got rid of it? Who knows? But one of the guys that worked there, I was. I'd go there all the time, and I kind of got to know him. But I was behind some lady one day, and she was some, you know, suburban white chick, if you will.

[D]

Oh, how dare they exist.

[A]

You can imagine. And she dec. She decided to test her Spanish on him, and this guy looks at like, what the. I don't speak Spanish. She just assumed.

[B]

Oh, my God, he was.

[A]

Oh, God, that was so funny. Wow.

[D]

Yeah, you gotta know. You gotta make sure.

[A]

Yeah, it was Hilarious.

[D]

I'm sorry, did you guys. You. And after she left, were you guys howling?

[A]

Oh, he goes. This. His vision might make one assume that he was of a certain ethnicity, when in fact. Absolutely. Absolutely not. He goes.

[C]

My mom's Italian.

[A]

He's a great guy. Still see him. He works at a different place.

[C]

Dear Bob and Tom show. I heard you guys talking about Reese's Peanut Butter cup toothpaste. Yep, we're talking about that.

[A]

Yeah. Yesterday. It's a. It's a.

[B]

You may have left.

[A]

It's. It's being test marketed in Australia, New Zealand, and it's. It is endorsed by Reese's. Yep. And it's peanut butter flavored toothpaste. Sugar free. Yeah, me too.

[D]

No, I want that minty mouth fresh clean.

[C]

Okay, We've got mint, we've got peanut butter cup, and now we've got. Ladies and gentlemen, Kentucky Fried Chicken toothpaste. I think I might be in fried chicken flavored toothpaste.

[A]

That's real?

[C]

Yes. His smile. You know how the Colonel's Smile logo. There it is.

[A]

Wow. Currently being marketed.

[C]

I picked this up while I was browsing around a place called the Marketplace. I thought you'd get a kick out of it. Love the show. It's Tim from Georgia.

[B]

I do.

[D]

Man, oh, man.

[A]

I want to see if it's still out there.

[D]

What's that, Ace? Fluoride free.

[B]

Fluoride free. Oh, well, some people don't want their fluoride in their toothpaste.

[D]

Has all kinds of keep your hands

[C]

off my guns and fluoride off my

[D]

tooth toothbrushes and toothpastes and everything like that.

[A]

So it must have been a. Oh, and limited edition deal is. Are you looking at the same thing I am? Which is. It's in Australia.

[D]

I'm not.

[A]

Okay. This is his smile. Australia KFC toothpaste.

[B]

Why does Australia get all the fun toothpaste?

[A]

What's going on down there?

[C]

They have kangaroo and it's kangaroo. Fried chicken.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Somebody served fried kangaroo or something.

[C]

Yeah. You think that would kfk.

[B]

That's got to be muscle.

[C]

Why hasn't every anyone ever said, let's eat. What's a kangaroo taste like?

[A]

Why don't we cook? We did. Did we eat it? We had kangaroo in here.

[D]

Oh, did you? Was it in jerky form or. Because I've seen kangaroo jerky.

[C]

This is the epitome of. We've had that on the show.

[B]

We've had kangaroo.

[C]

We've had kangaroo.

[B]

We would remember that.

[F]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, don't you remember, chick? You ate It. And it had a certain effect on you.

[C]

Oh, it was jittery and I got real jumpy.

[D]

Sorry.

[A]

You know, they.

[C]

No, no, I was right along.

[A]

They did try doing. This is true. They did try doing. You're not gonna believe me.

[B]

You're right.

[A]

A rabbit fast food thing in this. In the mid. I think it was mid-70s or-80s.

[B]

80s.

[C]

I don't believe any of it.

[A]

It was called Bunny King, Home of the hopper.

[C]

I don't.

[F]

That's pretty funny.

[A]

That was not the name don't believe. No, but.

[B]

No, no, but our story.

[A]

They did. They did do a rabbit thing.

[B]

They did try that.

[C]

And yesterday we had the first example of a visual Thomism where Tom can't think of the word and he says, like, what was it? Wind cooker for an air dryer.

[A]

I forgot when you're trying to speak sometimes you can't think of the name of something and it. Just describe it. Yeah, sure.

[C]

Well, this is a new business. This is from Joan. Good morning. I don't mind bothering you at work. Tom started a new business on the side. This is an aquarium and it is called the Liquid Zoo now.

[B]

I love that.

[C]

That's an aquarium. Aquarium, fish for sale.

[B]

That is great.

[A]

That's funny.

[D]

That is good.

[A]

That's an actual legit store.

[C]

Yeah, I'd remember Liquid Zoo.

[G]

Cool.

[C]

Yeah. What are they? Stone and concrete? What a brick and mortar.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

See, there you go. He just demonstrated how it works.

[C]

There you go.

[A]

The stone and concrete just certainly is valid.

[D]

You mentioned the Reese's toothpaste. Well, Jason and Annie ride in and I believe annie is his 12 year old daughter. But he has. If it's not Jason has a 12 year old daughter. She wrote a joke for us, which is one of my favorite things, kids writing comedy. She heard that we all love Reese's and she said, she said she came up with this joke for us. What do you call Reese's that come in trios?

[C]

In trios?

[D]

Threeses. So. Yes. Thank you, sweetie.

[A]

There's a future for Reader's Digest humor in uniform.

[D]

Terrific.

[C]

Joe. Very, very nice from Bowling Green.

[A]

Thank you very much. Coming up in a few minutes, we're going to have an interesting callback to yesterday's program. I don't want to give it away right now because it's kind of. It's kind of interesting.

[C]

Dear Bob and top show, first and foremost. Thank you, Chick for the heads up on the documentary on Prime Amazon called Soul Power. There's four episodes about the aba. It's very good.

[B]

Check out the waiting game to another one.

[C]

Dr. J's on there. Secondly, with all the discussion regarding appliances picking up the radio broadcast. Tom, you were saying your toaster would pick up.

[A]

Yeah, no, it's true.

[C]

I stand there in the kitchen.

[A]

I used to live probably as the crow flies, maybe 500 yards from the radio towers. There are some AM radio towers on this property.

[B]

If you could only get across the creek, you would have been able to work.

[A]

I could have. I could have walked here in five minutes, but there was a creek in the wood. The point being, my toaster would. I could hear the AM signal, so I could. I could hear it at the time, passively. You didn't have to do anything at the time. I could hear sports talk.

[C]

Tune in your toaster, which you guys must remember. There was a Gilligan's island episode where Gilligan is getting broadcast through his teeth.

[B]

I remember that.

[C]

You remember that? The professor, either the dumbest smartest guy or the smartest dumb guy proves this is happening.

[A]

There.

[C]

That's Paul.

[A]

And again, the Professor. He could turn three coconuts in a rock into a shortwave radio. But he couldn't build a boat.

[B]

I know. Couldn't get him off that island.

[A]

Pretty much. Simple premise, by the way.

[B]

I don't remember.

[D]

They had to have murdered Gilligan. Yeah, because they were always so close to getting rescued. He ruined it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, now here's an idea. Wait, hear me out on this. The. The Archies, which was kind of a sort of generic comic.

[C]

I beg your pardon.

[A]

It's been around for quite some time. Not the band, but Archie. Archie.

[C]

Got it.

[A]

Was turned into a rather hip, dark TV series called Riverdale.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

How about this for an idea? And Pat? You'd have to do the theme song. The Gilligan's island theme song. Make it real dark.

[F]

Okay, I could do that.

[A]

Change. Change it up a little bit. What if they took Gilligan's island and

[C]

made it real serious and made Gilligan a serial killer?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

What do you think of that?

[A]

I think Mrs. Howell.

[B]

You think she would do it.

[A]

It?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Oh, actually, the one I never trusted was Tina Louise, by the way, for a three hour tour. Hell of a wardrobe, no joke.

[B]

Well, you know people like that, don't you? They pack for a weekend. I just.

[C]

So you go a ginger. Not Marianne, huh?

[A]

Oh, no, no, no, no.

[C]

This is how.

[A]

No, Marianne is the one. Marianne, Absolutely. She was in here, she was out. Yeah, she was very nice.

[B]

But yeah, you're still alive.

[A]

Remember how I. I went on A very short ski trip the other day.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

One of the girls on the trip had a suitcase. I could barely lift it. For three days for a three day trip. And there were no. There was no ski stuff. There was no.

[C]

There was no. Sorry, did you say someone in your entourage?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

No ski boots?

[A]

No. I mean, it's amazing how many outfits that. Oh, there we go. Here's Jeffrey. Jeff, I was. I'm glad you're here. First of all, I just got this letter. There was a rabbit themed fast food chain in Kalamazoo, Michigan, founded in 1984 called Hot Now.

[B]

I think we definitely talked about their mascot.

[A]

They're Hot and now Hot and now. Their mascot was a speedy cartoon rabbit. They had Fast as a rabbit service. However, it doesn't appear that they served rabbit.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

I wonder if they had car hops.

[D]

I went to one of those places. A rabbit. Rabbit themed restaurant.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

I got a hair in my mouth.

[A]

Not used to that, huh?

[D]

Not these days, my friend.

[A]

Now, Jeffrey, yesterday you had an idea you wanted to take to Shark Tank, right. And do you remember what it was?

[D]

Yeah. Why? Mice flavored cat food. Yeah, Mice flavored cat food.

[A]

After we got off the air, I did a little homework. There is a mouse based cat food.

[C]

No, there's no.

[A]

Yes, there is. There is. You can see it right there. It's called Mouser.

[C]

Rabbit and mouse.

[A]

They have. They have a variety. They have. They have chicken and mouse. They have rabbit and mouse. This is canned cat food.

[C]

That's because your kitten enjoys the very best.

[A]

It says Mouser is the primary specialized brand offering canned cat food containing ethically sourced mouse meat.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Mixed with protein, including rabbit, duck and turkey. Designed to mirror a cat's natural ancestral diet. This is real flavor.

[C]

Has the Turkey and mouse is the forest hunter, rabbit, mouse, brush hunter, chicken mouse, field hunter and pond hunter. It tastes like it has duck and mouse in it.

[A]

And we were trying to name it. As far as I can tell, this is in the usa. I just started going around the Internet and found this stuff.

[F]

20 bucks a can.

[D]

It might be.

[A]

Well, I mean, the way dog food is now, there are some. There are some dog foods out there that cost more than people.

[B]

Oh, my God. Trust me. Are you. You're the only cat person. Do you. Would you serve your cat this?

[D]

Yeah, if I find it, I will. I'll see if you can try it. Oh, Gravy likes it. She eats her dry food. Is Rabbit it. So that's. That's what she has.

[C]

No kidding.

[D]

Yeah. And then the Wet food is salmon or white fish or chicken.

[A]

You know, this says, Dear Bob and Tom show. Tell Jeff cancel his appointment with Shark Tank. I work for a veterinary hospital in Mason, Michigan. There is a cat food made of mice. It's available by request. The brand we order is called Mouser.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

And its contents are mouse and rabbit. So this person found out.

[D]

Just got my ticket, my plane, took it to Shark Tank.

[B]

You got the refundable fare?

[A]

Well, I think maybe. I think if you give it a spin and make it remember, we. What was the name we had? Like Myce a Roni. Here's one. Dear Tom spitballing here. How about to move that mouse Kibble of mice and meow.

[D]

I like that.

[C]

Feels a little clunky.

[A]

Make it Pied Piper foods. This is the suggestion here.

[D]

Someone suggested to me meow. Meese.

[C]

Oh, oh.

[D]

Instead of mix.

[A]

And then we had the Steinbeck of mice and meow.

[D]

See what you missed, chick?

[C]

I think we're getting a little bit too long hair here. A little bit too confusing. What about Mises pieces? Right?

[F]

That was a. Yeah, we did.

[D]

We talked about that.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I like Maestaroni. But then I googled what city in America has the most mice. Anyone want to guess?

[F]

Well, we said New York, didn't we?

[A]

Apparently, the answer is Chicago. And I'm not sure where they got that stat, but my daughter will tell

[B]

you about it because she's got them in her apartment all the time.

[C]

Okay, how about Mice Krispies?

[A]

Very good. Or Mouse. Either one. Chef boy or Mouse? I don't know. Thank you, Jeffrey. Very fine comedian, Jeff. Oscar. Right now, I want to come back

[C]

anytime, just not today.

[A]

I want to. I want to talk about. This is a product, a thing. I'm a huge fan of this, and it's not just because they're an advertiser. I first heard about these on this show, and I immediately got one, and I love it. It's called the aura frame.

[C]

You know what's going to happen? People are getting these, and they're giving them, and they're receiving them. And the friends of the people who have gotten them have told the people who haven't gotten them yet. So they're thinking, where's mine? Have you gotten them your mom or dad or grandparents an aura frame? They're gonna. They're gonna want to know where theirs is.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Now, you could get one Christie for your daughter.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

At her apartment in Chicago. And then you could place a photograph today of, for example, your lovely boots. So instead of Just getting a little chintzy thing on her phone the size of a postage stamp. You could send her a nice 8 by 10 of your feet. By the way, many of our listeners would also like one of those. It's called the Aura frame. You load it and you can keep loading it. And it holds an unlimited number of videos and photographs. And they rotate around. I'm looking at one right now. It's a weird picture of me with a beard and Chick Magee. Hello, boy. Between the two of us, that's about 150 pounds ago. Who are those two fat guys?

[C]

Good Lord, look at. I didn't realize how fat you were.

[A]

That's a very unfortunate photograph. I've. Since that was taken, I've grown a full head of hair. The larger point is the aura frame won't help you grow hair. But it will. It'll cheer you up. These are so cool. Unlimited storage. You can load the photos. And the cool thing about this is through the magic of electricity and satellite technology, I think it is. I loaded a lot of the photographs on that from my house while that frame was still sitting here. It involves some kind of. Anyone want to help me here? What is it? Some kind of electronic medium of some sort. And I, by the way, I did

[B]

have help from the World Wide Web.

[A]

I had.

[C]

And you sent it.

[A]

I had help from my 12 year old daughter at the time named number one by Wirecutter. And you know those guys hate everything you can say. Fake. Fake number one.

[C]

Mr. Griswold, this is the attorney for wire cutter. What's your problem?

[A]

These things are great. And you can save 35 bucks if you're a Bob and Tom show fan or even if you're not just listening to this and going, shut up. The Carver mat frame from Aura Frames. Use the code. Tom. That'll knock 35 bucks off the price of this. It's a great gift. And get one for yourself. Maybe get one for your Irish friends for St Patrick's Day. Support the Bob and Tom show by mentioning us when you check out. Please. Auraaura frames.com the promo code is my name Tom. Thank you very much. Coming up, we have dachshunds in the news, cute little doggies and a solution for Christie's problem.

[C]

Yesterday she wanted to spruce up her bathroom.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

She needs some help.

[A]

Bathroom. Do you have a good tip for that?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I was really hoping somebody would come through.

[C]

And it was. Coming up next.

[A]

All right. I'm looking forward to that. Once again, are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Thanks for joining us. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[G]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning, even though we're not too much to look at. You can also watch the show on our YouTube channel.

[B]

Tired of partisan noise?

[A]

America's more divided than ever. But independent Americans is adding light to contrast all that heat.

[B]

Independent Americans Daily news with army veteran Paul Reichoff.

[A]

Pressing issues, issues of the day with leaders who are shaping what America will be in the future. We're going to bring the righteous media five eyes. Independence, integrity, information, inspiration and impact.

[B]

Join the movement. Independent Americans from Believe, follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[A]

Oh, always.

[C]

What you said again, that was amazing.

[B]

You need to stop saying sh. Words.

[D]

Hello, shirt.

[C]

And welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[B]

Hello.

[C]

And her cowboy boots. You got the cowboy boots.

[A]

Those are nice.

[C]

I want a picture of those.

[B]

All right, we'll get one next.

[C]

All right. There's Pat Godwin pose for you.

[F]

Both pose together.

[C]

And this cowboy shirt. There's Josh Arnold.

[A]

Hi.

[C]

Just, just being Josh. Josh. Josh is Josh. There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.

[A]

Now, Christy had an idea earlier that I've turned into a concept, and it would be go on Shark Tank and walk up there with like 10 people behind you of different sizes and different genders.

[D]

All right.

[C]

And all the same color.

[A]

No, not necessarily. Oh, this could be a diverse group.

[D]

That reason I'm out. What if one of the shows, we found out one of the sharks was crazy?

[C]

Crazy.

[D]

As soon as like 2 not white people walk.

[A]

I'm sorry, you're. You're Filipino. For that reason. For that reason, I'm out.

[C]

And why isn't Damon on the other side of the studio? That was specific in my concert.

[A]

So you go on shark tape, but in other words, you have a diverse group of human beings standing behind you. And because your idea of Christy, your problem is your cowboy boots are new, you need to break them in.

[D]

Right.

[A]

And this would be a service in which you get, get a photo of these gents of ladies behind me. They have different shoe sizes. So a team of people, it's a team of human beings who are kind of down in their luck. So the concept here, so you can

[B]

take advantage of this.

[A]

So the concept here is you will give them your shoes and they'll walk around with them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Looking for jobs. And in the process of that, break in your shoes. So it's, it's a, it's a. It's a good.

[D]

You know what he just pitched?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Because I didn't. He clouded it with so much.

[C]

It hints of slavery.

[D]

Yeah, well, it hints of. Well, let's go with indentured servitude.

[C]

There you go.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

I did not pitch that, by the way. I just want to go on record now.

[C]

Breaking in shoes for other people is a real company. Often done by friends with similar foot sizes or as a service by professionals to spare the owner from blisters and disgust.

[D]

You know, what happens in Nashville, all that. You think Morgan Wallen ever wore a pair of cowboy boots?

[C]

No.

[A]

I see. I think he probably did. I think there's some others.

[B]

And it's cowboy boots especially mold to your feet, so it's very important to break them in.

[A]

But aren't you supposed to get them soaking wet and wear them barefoot?

[B]

Oh, are you. I don't know. Is that true?

[D]

That's a good way to ruin the boot.

[C]

Overall, I think this is sometimes.

[D]

No, no, no.

[C]

I'm just sometimes joked about. It says here, but the Queen. Queen Elizabeth, QE2, she had a couple of people on the staff, same size feet, and she would. Those people would break. Ironically.

[A]

It was. It was. It was a. You've heard of them? A footman?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I always wondered what they did.

[A]

Madame, you're. Yes. You're a size six.

[C]

Would you like to hear some tips for breaking in your shoes?

[A]

I would very much wear thick socks.

[B]

Yeah, I tried that today. I put them on and I went, nope, I can't do this.

[C]

Use a hair dryer on high heat to soften the heel. Can help with breaking in, particularly in stiffer shoes.

[B]

Huh?

[D]

Have you tried that, Christy?

[B]

No, I haven't.

[D]

H. Now, this is for any kind of shoe, right? Or presumably leather. Your Skechers slip ins don't usually need broken in.

[F]

Those Crocs will melt with a hairdryer.

[C]

Now, here's a key tip, and I. I don't know how you didn't have something to do with this, Tom, but they would like to make it known if the shoe is the wrong size, it will never break in properly.

[A]

No kidding.

[C]

So don't.

[A]

So can we get back to my. My pitch to Shark Tank?

[C]

Go ahead.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

I'd like you to meet the folks behind me. They could step forward and state your name, and then you have a guy walk out and in various languages interpret step forward and say,

[D]

yeah. All right.

[A]

Now, here's the thing.

[B]

Is this gonna be like Cinderella and you have to Try the shoes on everybody.

[A]

We have Gladys, Romania. Yeah, it's.

[D]

It's foreign homeless people.

[A]

They're gonna earn some money and break in your shoes. How does that differ from the queen having a footman? I. I'm gonna call it. I would call it Walk a mile in my Shoes. Pat, can you write a song called that?

[C]

I could.

[A]

Okay. Or maybe. Maybe. Was. Was that one Baby don't you walk so fast?

[C]

Daddy.

[A]

Daddy. That was a good one, too, though. I like that song.

[C]

I heard my little Calling me.

[D]

Where's he going?

[C]

Don't you. He's out of there. You know what? He's got some young stuff on the side of the town, you know, so

[D]

he's not like a traveling salesman and be back in two weeks?

[C]

No, it's.

[D]

He's gone.

[C]

No, his wife is a harpy and he's got to get away from her.

[D]

Oh, so it's her fault.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

Don't you walk so fast. My daughter's crying.

[D]

Yeah, Daddy. Well, so why. Why doesn't the daughter go, mommy? Why? I stopped banging all the neighborhood guys. Well, shouldn't that be the.

[A]

We'll have to call Mr. Newton and ask him.

[C]

I'm concerned no one called on me on or took me to task for the term young stuff.

[F]

Oh, no, we heard it.

[C]

Okay. All right, go ahead. Perfectly fine, thank you.

[A]

Okay, well, when we come back, we'll try to get the show back on the road. I'm not sure what just happened. I blame myself. Coming up, Ali Breen with Sexy Time. We have a bizarre story coming from the Dominican Republic public. Yeah, really odd.

[B]

We have that video is that we're

[A]

trying to find it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

We have wiener dogs in the news.

[C]

Is Tom Brady gonna end up wrestling in the wwe? No way. He's got a beef.

[D]

Why not?

[C]

Why not?

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

Wouldn't you just love to see Tom

[B]

Brady and Pat McAfee? There you go.

[C]

There's a beef.

[A]

I'd love to see that because Pat

[C]

would kick his ass.

[A]

That would pick him up and throw him over the ropes. They'd be doing a chalk line super bowl crunch. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[G]

Want to share a letter or comment? Our email is bob and tomobandtom.com.

[C]

hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios at the new center. It's Christy Lee in her cowboy boot.

[B]

Hello.

[C]

There's Pat Godwin.

[D]

Hello.

[C]

We just got a picture of them. They'll Be up on the socials here in a second. There's Josh Arnold.

[B]

Hi.

[D]

Hi.

[C]

Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick McGee and hello. Tom.

[A]

We have more letters to get to.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Let's see. Dear Bob and Tom show.

[C]

All right.

[A]

My. I'm sorry. I was shopping at a gift store with my wife in Florida. Says Paul in Daytona Beach.

[D]

Sounds miserable.

[B]

I mean, sounds like a wonderful husband.

[C]

I'd rather staple my tongue when I

[A]

pointed to fish art hanging on the wall.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And paused, thinking what it was made of, and said, look, hon, it's made of ocean sticks. She said, no, dummy, that's driftwood. My brain is catching up to Tom. Ocean sticks. I like that.

[D]

I do, too.

[A]

Ocean sticks. That sounds like a nice.

[D]

This letter comes to us from Lori, which is British for truck.

[C]

Josh.

[D]

Yes. You're welcome.

[A]

But wouldn't that be kind of an insult? Does anyone. Does anyone spell their name? Laurie. L, O, R, R, Y.

[D]

Not. Not that I've seen, but. Yeah, I've not seen that.

[A]

I don't think I've seen L, O, R. I.

[D]

Sure. We were discussing yesterday. Hourglasses or hours? Glass.

[C]

Sand. Sand bowls.

[D]

Yeah. Somebody had called it a sand glass.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Same globe and As a Thomism. And we were discussing hourglasses and whether or not you could put the ashes of somebody in an hourglass.

[B]

Correct.

[D]

Whenever my family played games, says Truck, we would have to bring out an hourglass timer because my dad would take forever to make a move. So when he died, we had him cremated and we had his ashes put into an hourglass. And now, whenever we play games, he can still join. Join us. Isn't that nice?

[C]

That isn't a Hallmark movie.

[A]

I think you had suggested that possibility, but we were concerned that the consistency.

[D]

Right. So, Lori, please write back and let us know if you had to add it with sand or if it was just the ashes. How that works.

[A]

I should know this. I. Because the cremated remains that I've seen are typically very powdery powder.

[D]

Like, you cleaned your fireplace

[A]

maybe a little, like. Yeah, like. Yeah, very powder.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, That's.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But, yeah, maybe if you mix them with sand. But what a great idea.

[B]

They could make little ones for everybody in the family, and they could take dad with them wherever they went.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[F]

That's what my family did.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

That's insane.

[F]

You each had a portion of tiny urns.

[B]

Yeah, I have a tiny heart that has part of my dad's.

[A]

Oh, I just got one from your. Your boyfriend Andy. Oh, what said. Yes, please get one and then when Christy starts talking, I'll turn it up and then as soon as it's run its course, she has to be quiet.

[C]

Hello, Bob and Tom show.

[D]

A buddy of mine had an idea. He was going to walk around with a little recorder that had a orchestra playing.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

So if somebody was talking too long, he would just hit it and the orchestra would start playing him.

[B]

Playing and playing him like the academy awards.

[C]

We'll be right back with.

[A]

Remember we had the bit announcer guy.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

With a guy. Which we did like 20 years ago. That's now a commercial. Don't know if you've seen.

[B]

Oh, it is.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Is he doing the voice that's not

[C]

here about the top show? Chrissy, you were talking about. You have an eyesore. Can you in your bathroom?

[B]

In my bathroom I have a water pick.

[C]

Oh my God.

[B]

I don't care for it on my bathroom counter.

[C]

Don't blame you. I can't imagine how you get up and I don't like looking at it. You. You push through to the day with that thing sitting there on your. Anyway, this is from Jenny. I just saw these on Etsy. She says they're so pretty. And they have different cylinder colors and sizes. There you go. Look at that. Now that's a toothbrush holder and the decanter, if you will. But I'm sure they make something a

[B]

little wider for the Close to that water pick.

[C]

You'd go over the water pick.

[A]

So it's sort of a cylinder. Like a cylinder the size of a tennis ball can. Yeah, but it's kind of made basket y. It reminds flowers on top and you would put it on top of your toothbrush.

[C]

It looks like a dildo holder is what it looks like.

[B]

Kind of. You could do that, dude.

[D]

You know somebody's using it for that. And why wouldn't they?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

That'd be a shame. You know, grandma comes over and she knocked. She knocks it over and I knocked over your flowers. And what's this big vayner? This reminds me of uncle Clarence.

[C]

Grandma, what's this big veiner?

[D]

You know, grandma, remember in parenthood when they're looking for a flashlight?

[C]

Oh, yeah. Tom's favorite line from that scene is don't worry, dad, we can still find the bar.

[A]

Oh, yes, yes. That's very funny.

[C]

Dear Bob and Tom show. This from Mike Cincinnati. Just letting you know and reminding me. And I'd forgotten that you can get ground kangaroo at jungle gyms. That's the grocery store that has each and every everything on the ever invented.

[B]

That is an amazing store.

[C]

Mike says I get ground kangaroo. I cook it with some Manwich, I put it in a PETA pocket and I call them Sloppy Joey.

[D]

Yeah, that's pretty good.

[C]

How about that?

[D]

They're even the PETA pocket for the pouch.

[C]

Get out of here.

[F]

We are done now.

[D]

That's. That's brilliant.

[C]

My gosh.

[A]

Now, we were wondering. Yesterday we got talking about the cat food that should be invented made of mice. And it turns out there in fact is one mouser. It's called mouser. And. And we were talking about it about an hour ago. We were also. Someone used the phrase I hate Mises to pieces.

[D]

I loved that cartoon.

[C]

Oh, Jinx the cat.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And we were trying to remember. It was Mr. Jinx the orange cat from Pixie and Dixie.

[B]

Yeah. We couldn't remember that yesterday we needed you.

[C]

Yeah. That was one of my favorite.

[D]

That guy made me laugh a lot.

[B]

Yeah, me too.

[C]

That's the Hanna Barbera stable, I believe.

[A]

Yeah. That was an offshoot of the Huckleberry Hound show.

[B]

Yeah. And Trixie and Dixie were the cutest little mice.

[A]

What was the. I don't remember. How can you deliver the line I hate me.

[C]

I can't remember how Jinx would say it. It was kind of snaggle puss.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Did he got the same guy do the voice?

[C]

I think so.

[A]

I wonder.

[C]

I think dog.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

He was kind of.

[D]

It was.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

It was kind of goofy and kind of not goofy. Yeah. That's what I'm kind of remembering.

[B]

It was higher than that.

[A]

We'll have to. We'll have to dig it up because I do remember that phrase.

[C]

And.

[A]

Yeah. And here's someone, Jack in Linden, Pennsylvania. Is that. We're near where you grew up.

[F]

No, I don't know where that.

[A]

He goes. He goes. I hate mises to pieces. Mr. Jinx. The enemy of the mice. Pixie and Dixie. P.S. i watched way too many cartoons as a kid.

[D]

That's not no such thing as one.

[B]

No, we all did. That's what we did.

[A]

Well, thank you very much. You. How do you get a hold of us?

[B]

Christy Lee at bob and tomobandtom.com.

[A]

well, thank you very much.

[B]

You're welcome.

[A]

Coming up, it's going to be Sexy Tone with Ali Breen. We love hearing from you. We also have some news from the world of sports. And there was a. Was the big deadline yesterday.

[C]

Yeah. The tag franchise. Franchise tags. And we'll go over that. And it looks like Kyler. Kyler Murray, former quarterback of the Arizona Cardinals. Not official yet, but that looks like that's where that's headed. Performance enhancing drugs raises their collective heads in Major League Baseball again. Going to take a look at that. The World Baseball Championships coming up. Tom, you got your seats? You got, you ready to watch USA take on the world baseball.

[A]

Where's that taking place?

[C]

Various sites all around the world, Tom. Just wonderful. Wow. What do we got here?

[A]

Well, speaking of baseball, we have a big story coming out of the Dominican Republic that does not necessarily involve baseball. We'll get to that.

[C]

Is that your favorite republic? The Dominican Republic Republic.

[A]

Plato's Republic.

[C]

Okay, sure.

[D]

I mean, that's got to be just because it formed some. Many of the foundations of a republic.

[C]

Yeah, that was, you know.

[A]

Yeah, they've relocated it. I don't know where they put it.

[D]

I'm not too sure.

[A]

I think it's like southern Greece.

[C]

So agree.

[A]

All right, so Greek now. That's all on the way right now. I want to talk to you about, but. Well, have you looked at that credit card statement lately?

[C]

No need to bring that up. Those fighting words.

[A]

If you've got, you know, you're working whatever 50 hours a week.

[C]

Oh, tell me about it.

[A]

Killing yourself. Let me talk to someone other than you. You're looking at the amount of interest you pay. Maybe you've never looked that up, but credit cards can get. When you're holding a little bit of a balance and holding it over month to month, pretty soon all you're doing is desperately trying to pay off the interest. This is where American financing comes in to maybe do some refinancing, grab some of that equity in your existing house and get rid of that credit card debase. You are probably paying over 20% interest for those credit cards for that credit card debt. You just. You might want to listen to this advice and do a little bit of a refi. Like I said, take advantage of your equity. And according to this account, the average savings is about 800 bucks a month. Mortgage rate, rates the way they are right now, showing homeowners how to use that equity to wipe out the high interest debt from credit cards. If you're interested in finding out some details about this, go to american financing.net Bob and Tom. That's american financing.net BobandTom you can actually call them if you can remember this number, 866-889-2611. Now I've got to read the mandatory disclaimer. Whenever you talk about anything like this, you have to do this. It's NMLS 18, 23, 34. That's NMLSConsumerAccess.org APR for rates in the five start at 6.19%. For well qualified borrowers, call 866889. As I said, 2611 866-88926 11. For more information, details about credit costs and terms or visit american financing.net Coming up in the news, we have a lot of delightful things, including a thing that I think Josh had talked about once before, which is, you know those microchips you have implanted in your dogs?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

What about in people?

[B]

Yeah, that.

[A]

We're gonna find out what's going on in the world of that and the law. Coming up from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Thanks for listening. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Dripping in gold. That's cool. Dripping in Velveeta's supremely creamy golden cheesiness. That's respect. Elevate your drip with Velveeta's range of outrageously delicious dips and dishes. Shells, cheese, melty blocks and heat and eat queso that go all in on indulgence. Flex on your fam with a creamy cheesy masterpiece and go all in on what you love with Velveeta. Respect the drip and satisfy your craving savings. Bring home the drip with Velveeta.

[C]

Hello, and welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. I think I'm going to take a lover.

[D]

Those are best. Gloria Swanson.

[C]

Yes. There's Christy Lee. She's at the news desk.

[B]

Hello.

[C]

There's Pat Godwin. Hello, Josh Arnold. Yeah. Oh, what if those. Those two, Gloria Swanson and that guy were married? Hello, darling.

[A]

Oh, I love that.

[C]

Oh, there's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom.

[A]

Hello, Chick McGee. Got a letter I wanted to get to one of our most loyal listeners. Yes, Pat Lennon took the time and opportunity to write us. And it's a. This is. This has a payoff. It may be a little long. I apologize.

[C]

I hope he has a friend with the last name of Marks. That's all. I hope.

[D]

Marks and Lennon hanging out.

[C]

Yeah. You know, and Lennon.

[A]

Read a book.

[F]

Don't sing that song.

[A]

Sorry.

[C]

What a performer.

[A]

I recently attended an insurance seminar, writes Pat.

[C]

I'm sorry. I fell asleep there real quick.

[A]

I knew. I knew I'd never get the. Pat, I apologize in advance. Various claims adjusters were trained on how to spot red flags on suspicious claims. We were talking yesterday about the news story about a guy who was skydiving. He was on full disability.

[B]

Officer.

[A]

They Caught him skydiving. And then I told the story of one of our. When I worked at the restaurant, one of the waiters, Handsome Steve, we used to call him, he worked for a detective agency on the side, and he spotted a guy who was on full disability. They got him on video digging by hand a swimming pool in his backyard in Daytona Beach. In any event, he goes. They were showing us various videos. The video had been submitted as proof that what was stolen from a car repair shop. It showed toolboxes and other expensive gear. The person claimed they made the video a few months back. The insurance adjuster had some doubts. The video was played again. We were told to focus on the audio in the background. So you're following me here. There's a shop full of. Some of us laugh and be recognized. In the background was the Bob and Tom Show. You could hear chick reading an ad that included the following phrase, join us this weekend for our big Labor Day sale. The alleged theft had taken place in July, so the radio ad was the red flag.

[B]

Nice.

[D]

No kidding.

[A]

What a public service. He says, chalk one up for the Bob and Tom show.

[B]

That's cool.

[A]

Loyal fan since 83. Thank you, Pat. Pat's in Piedmont, South Carolina. He always, always writes us great letters. Thank you, Pat. We certainly appreciate it. Speaking of Pats, Ms. Pat's gonna be our guest coming up just around the corner. And Pat Godwin one is anxiously awaiting the arrival of his comedy special on. On dry bar. Comedy. I've heard they've penciled it in for this decade. Man. Man will set foot on the moon before that thing hits the airwaves, apparently using the aging.

[F]

Aging filter.

[A]

De.

[F]

Aging filters. So it's taking some time.

[A]

Okay. Okay, we'll look forward to that. But you. You're gonna play us a song, is that correct?

[F]

Yeah, I'm in a country mode.

[A]

You want to hear a new.

[C]

I have a new.

[F]

I have a new country character.

[C]

Oh, Chris.

[F]

Chris Pistro again.

[D]

All right.

[F]

The sexist singer songwriter.

[D]

Chris pissed off again.

[F]

Okay, this may not work.

[C]

This may not work.

[F]

Drop a few and comb your hair. Wash addition, use a broom, put some makeup on your face.

[C]

Days,

[F]

stop watching TV in your room. You could be working during the day. Oh, you know, it isn't very hard. Go out and get a job. I'll help you squeeze into the car. Why don't you get up off that couch? You're getting such a huge rear end. Cook up something in the kitchen. We're not doing takeout again. Baby, please put down that gun. I Didn't mean to start a fight. I took a shotgun to the chest. I hope I make it through the night. Chris pissed her off again.

[D]

Oh, that's classic Chris, isn't it? Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Might be the last time.

[F]

What do you think?

[C]

That's all right.

[D]

Very nice.

[A]

Fat ass with a gun. Okay, well, on that note, we'll switch gears here and check into the sporting

[C]

scene with Chick McGee from the NFL. Arizona Cardinals have informed two time Pro bowl quarterback and Christie sized Kyler Murray that they plan to release him at the beginning of the new league year.

[A]

On.

[C]

Write this down, Tom. New league year for the NFL. March 11th.

[A]

Do you celebrate New Year's Eve?

[C]

So March 10th is. Yeah, New Year's Eve, NFL New Year's Eve, and then Happy New Year. Are you with me or are you in me? Person familiar with the situation says Murray is owed. Josh, make sure you catch Christie if she.

[B]

Oh, God.

[C]

Murray is owed $36.8 million in guaranteed money.

[D]

Oh, well, it wouldn't have gone to you.

[C]

We'll be free to sign once he's released.

[D]

No reason to get upset about other people grabbing that bag.

[B]

Yeah, there is.

[C]

There you go.

[A]

If you were offered 37 million, you'd do more than grab that bag. You'd slurp that thing. Well,

[D]

yeah. You know what? He's talking to me and he's right.

[A]

And so, so would I. Yeah. Yeah. 37 million. I don't care. You call me gay, I'll go for it.

[C]

That's right. Grab that bag. There's Christie grabbing that bag. Working that back.

[A]

Christie. I gotta.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

This is the artist formerly known as Young mc.

[C]

Yeah. Geriatric mc.

[A]

Yeah. At what point do artists that call themselves Lil Something have to get rid of that boy? Stevie Wonder jettisoned it pretty early. He was little Stevie Wonder.

[C]

A little Bow wow.

[D]

Yeah, Bow Wow. Got rid of it.

[B]

Little Romeo. Is he still that or is he going by Romeo now?

[C]

I heard the Capulets or the Montagues.

[A]

So, Christy, I stopped at our friends at Movable Feast and I had lunch yesterday.

[B]

Oh, I almost did.

[A]

Had a delightful bowl of lentil soup.

[C]

Did you hear what she said? She almost did that.

[B]

I almost did the same thing.

[C]

You're sitting there and you're having. And you look up and hear Chrissy comes through the door.

[A]

Just delightful.

[B]

I would have carried out and I asked.

[A]

I asked this question. I was asking Kathleen, who makes all the great food there is, do you always have this? Because this is great. I'd like to have this more Often. And she said, well, we only do it during Lent.

[B]

Oh, lentil soup for Lent.

[A]

And is. Are those connected?

[B]

Well, it's just vegetarian. There's no meat in it, so that's probably why.

[D]

Yeah, I think so.

[A]

It's not named after Lent.

[C]

No, of course it is. It used to be lending soup. Oh, that's from the biblical day when you would take a slurp of soup and pass it to your neighbor.

[D]

Oh, on all lenders day.

[C]

Lenders day. And then they would take a.

[A]

So it's not just for Lent.

[C]

So on.

[F]

No, they have a delightful Easter. What is it called? Easter Brisk. What is the lobster bisque? There was a joke in there somewhere, but I screwed it up.

[A]

I had no idea. Shut up for a while. Lobster bisque.

[D]

Lobster bisque.

[C]

Are you drinking again?

[F]

I am, I am.

[D]

Yeah. I think Christy's right. It's more of a. You can almost taste like chili sometimes. It also tastes like.

[A]

So it's not. It isn't a liquid Lent thing.

[D]

No, no. I think it is more of a.

[C]

Lentil is the name of a bean

[D]

and way high fiber. Dude, good on you.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I'm hoping.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You could work on that dinette problem.

[A]

No, no, I'm kidding.

[C]

You want me to get up in there?

[A]

My superhero is Captain Fiber. The is Hot cross buns. Is that a link?

[B]

That's an inch. Yeah, that's a lint.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Hot cross bun.

[F]

What is that?

[B]

They're just like icing bun with icing

[C]

and a tie across.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I got to go the strawberries.

[A]

It's also a song played in the recorder by 10 year olds. That's about to drive me out of my mind.

[C]

They also have crucifix potato salad. That's really good.

[D]

Right?

[C]

And grape leave thorns scrape leaves and Rolling Rock beer.

[B]

They all go.

[A]

All right, thank you. Sorry I brought it up. Okay, back to you.

[C]

Where are we? And the another NFL note. The Colts placed transition tag on quarterback Daniel Jones and say what you want

[A]

on I. I don't. Transitioning is okay with me. And I don't care what you put in your driver's license.

[C]

I don't either. Colts opted to use $37.8 million trans size transition tag instead of the 40. Whatever you want to call yourself. That's exactly right. Except for they and Atlanta Braves outfielder from Major League Baseball Jurickson Profar. That's J U R I C K S O N. Profar has been suspended for the 26th season by the MLB for following his second positive test. Test for performance enhancing drugs.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Yep. He tested positive for a jerk.

[B]

Jerkson.

[C]

Exo.

[D]

Quit being a jerk. Jerkson.

[A]

Exogenous testosterone chick does a very good. Everett dirksen.

[B]

Who's that?

[C]

Mr. Speaker, I'm Everett Dirksen from the. Fine. He's the state of Illinois.

[A]

The quintessential old white dude in charge.

[C]

D I R K S E N. Just. Just like it sounds. Dirksen. Anyway, profar is in trouble.

[A]

What did he ingest?

[C]

Enhancing drugs. What do you want?

[A]

Which one? He named it.

[D]

He said he said it perfectly.

[C]

By the way. Exogenous testosterone.

[A]

What does that do?

[C]

Well, yeah.

[A]

Is that the one that makes your balls bigger?

[C]

Standard testosterone is genus. This is outside exogenous.

[D]

Yeah, it gives them an insect like shell. Yes.

[A]

Exoscolas. Right.

[D]

Right.

[C]

And almost untact level.

[A]

So Daniel Jones is now transitioning. So do we call him Dana Jones? How does that work?

[D]

I don't think it's. It's.

[C]

This is not. Danielle, this is not a lane we want to go down.

[A]

Hey, look, I'm okay with whatever you want to do. And I don't think the state should tell you what to put in your driver's license.

[C]

San Francisco Giants a slogan. Webb will start on the mound for Team USA and their first World Baseball Classic game Friday night again against Brazil. That's from manager Mark DeRosa. The 26 World Baseball Classic runs from March 5 through March 17. 20 teams across four global sites. Tokyo, San Juan, Houston and Miami. Pool play takes place March 5th through the 11th quarterfinals in Houston. March 13th and 14th. Then they wrap it up on the 15th and 17th.

[A]

So this is the real World Series?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Other. Other countries and stuff. Do you want me to go over? We're all glad Iran doesn't have a team because they're worried about the soccer competition coming up.

[D]

They don't know what they're going to

[C]

do about the World Cup. I mean, they weren't going to win any.

[D]

I was going to say, were they big contenders or.

[A]

Well, those suits they had to wear were problematic.

[B]

What?

[A]

You know the. The garb they're wearing. The weird robes. Kind of hard to swing a bat.

[D]

Well, that would be five pounds of

[A]

burlap on your ass.

[C]

Tom Brady is continuing his beef with Logan Paul and wwe.

[D]

A couple of those guys have a be.

[C]

What Got a beef. He was appeared on Logan Paul's podcast.

[A]

Of course.

[C]

Brady went viral after mocking Paul's athletic skills compared to NFL players.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Who doesn't get that other than Logan Paul Brady Said, no, you're not. You're not athletically on the level. You're a good athlete. But honestly, when I'm thinking of Saquon Barkley or Lawrence Taylor, I mean, of course, I'm sorry. When you're thinking Saquon Barkley, Quan Barkley or Lawrence Taylor,

[A]

where's my cocaine?

[C]

Did he sound drunk as a monkey when he did that?

[A]

I am wasting past trying to recover from whatever that was about.

[F]

Lobster pissed after two great.

[A]

Two great songs. And then, I mean, I don't even know what. What the realm of that joke was.

[F]

Easter bis.

[A]

Mr. Fist.

[B]

No.

[A]

Mr. Fist. Are you kidding me?

[C]

Please stop.

[A]

Mr. F. Oh, Mr. F. Thank you very much.

[C]

Then Brady said, no, no, you guys. You guys in the wrestling world are cute.

[B]

Cute.

[C]

You're very cute, but this is the NFL and real football, real competition. I mean, come on.

[A]

He's right.

[C]

Well, of course he's right.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And I doubt he would have said the cute stuff if Logan had been more honest up front about. Yeah, you know what? You guys are tremendous athletes, and we don't do the exact.

[C]

I think gone are the days that we're make. We act like it's all real and we don't know what's going to happen is that it's just entertainment and people love to watch it, but, I mean, you know, they get together and say, you pin me in the third round.

[D]

And there's still a level of athleticism. Of course.

[A]

Of course.

[C]

But.

[A]

But come on, put it this way. There's no drug testing. And the refereeing. Come on. The officiating.

[D]

I mean, they got to do something.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. When I do this, look the other way and you don't see the chair coming in.

[C]

And then a college baseball game between Loyola Marymount and UC Santa Barbara, briefly delayed after a long beaked pelican looking crashed into the safety net behind home plate. There he is. Oh, yeah.

[D]

Poor guy. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, there he goes.

[D]

Hammered. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Look at him.

[B]

He's like, oh, where have I.

[D]

He looks like he's a pterodactyl.

[C]

He looks like the stork from Warner Brothers cartoon.

[A]

I love that.

[D]

I got your.

[C]

Everybody wants to have a drink with the stork.

[A]

That's such a great guy character.

[D]

Yeah, it is.

[C]

My God, you see that guy?

[B]

He's, like, going, go on. No, leave now.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's got a happy ending because a lot of those Major League Baseball bird stories end with flying feathers, and they sure do.

[B]

I had another kamikaze bird. That's Two.

[D]

Now what's this?

[B]

Now they hit the window and die at your home?

[C]

Yes. It's awful, fellas. Do you think that.

[F]

Were you talking to him?

[C]

Demonic possession? Were you telling him about a trip you took one time?

[A]

Isn't there something you can do? Isn't there something.

[B]

I don't know. Know if I'm sure our listeners will

[A]

know, like dangle foil or something.

[C]

And then Andy and I met and

[A]

it was love at first sight.

[D]

You think she's gonna close the window?

[C]

You know I don't.

[D]

Well, then watch this.

[B]

There's nothing worse than having to go out there and pick up these poor little birds.

[D]

Oh, you leave.

[C]

I've got a list.

[A]

Check it. I give you a list.

[D]

Oh, the deck.

[B]

Yeah, it's on the deck. You would think that like a creature would come and take it or something.

[D]

Eventually it would.

[C]

What's that scene in Storks? Kelsey Grammer's a stork and he lets a bird hit the window and a power move or something.

[D]

Yeah, that movie was real funny.

[A]

Really?

[D]

Yeah. Underrated.

[A]

What's it called?

[D]

Storks. And it's about birds. Andy Samberg, I think is one. Chick and I went to the theater and there were kids in there, but we laughed way off. Cartoon.

[C]

Yeah. And you should have seen the parents as Josh and I were walking down the aisle to find our seat just subtly reaching over and holding their children closer. We were coming in to watch the cartoon.

[D]

Yeah, it was like we walked in with candy dishes and butterflies.

[A]

I've got a nice van outside. Little man.

[C]

Here's Tom. Sports. Frightening moments caught on video at a Southern California ski resort. A skier slipped and ended up dangling high in the air from a moving chairlift video.

[A]

Here we go. Here it is.

[C]

The incident happened at.

[A]

They're way up high.

[D]

He's comically. He's hanging very.

[A]

It's.

[C]

And they're going higher.

[A]

The young woman in the middle. There's various accounts of this.

[B]

Did she do it on purpose?

[A]

Well, one account says she slipped. The other says she was trying to do a pull up. Oh, as. And. And she is dangling from that. And that would be just enough to break your neck.

[D]

Now they're laughing as they're holding her and stuff, which does sort of suggest a stunt.

[A]

But she said she would keep reading. She was terrified.

[D]

Oh, it looks scary.

[B]

It looks like a TikTok video to me.

[D]

But they do reek of so called influencer.

[A]

But you could really get hurt. You could really get hurt.

[D]

It looks nuts.

[B]

And then when you get to the chair lift where it drops.

[A]

They had. They had to stop it.

[B]

I was gonna say. Cause she'd break her leg.

[A]

The.

[C]

That's everyone's nightmare, being in a ski lift like that. Half in, half out.

[A]

Well, there's a bunch of different accounts of this. I read a couple. One of them said she thought she could drop down holding the bar so she's below the chair itself. And she thought she could pull herself back up, but her skis and boots weighed so much she couldn't do it. And that she's a twin. And then the. The two other people grabbed her. Her and held her and she. This says. One of them says she feared she might fall to her death.

[B]

Well, then don't do stupid stunts.

[A]

Well, no kidding.

[C]

Yeah, you. Stupid stunts.

[A]

But there's no way. There's no way she just slipped.

[D]

No, she said she did it on purpose.

[A]

Yeah. And she's wearing a ski bib, so you can't tell that she sharted her britches.

[D]

Well, that's good. I mean, at least she was spared that embarrassment.

[A]

Yeah, that would be. Be. Can you. Can you play it again? I want. I'm not. I.

[C]

There it is.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. See, the other two people that are holding her are snowboarders. So I'm kind of surprised they didn't just let her go, because snowboarders, of course, are primarily evil.

[C]

It's a feud. Right. Yeah.

[A]

I think skiers are winning thing.

[C]

More sports coming up. We got wiener dogs on ice, so don't go anywhere. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Okay. Also coming up, Ali Breen with sexy time. Yeah, that's gonna be very good. We've got a world record from our buddy, David Rush.

[C]

Oh, boy.

[A]

And if you're concerned about.

[C]

If you're.

[A]

If you. If you're. If you're concerned about your male member.

[D]

I am.

[A]

There's a.

[C]

What have you heard, man? There's.

[A]

There's a new phrase that's been around for, I don't know, a decade or so. So. And it goes something like this. There's an app for that. Ah, well, now there's an app for the old Johnson.

[D]

I'm.

[A]

Better not get that. Might give it away. You'll be quite surprised as to what it does.

[D]

Is it something we can do?

[A]

Yeah, if you want to, I don't think feel sorry for you.

[D]

You want to see this weaned?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

No.

[C]

Come on.

[A]

Here, we'll come back with it.

[C]

Come on over here. Touch it.

[A]

These. These are the Oralioto Part studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[G]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show, sponsored in part by Java House, the official coffee and refreshments of the Bob and Tom Show.

[C]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. There's Christy Lee. Hello, The News Center. There's Pat Godwin.

[F]

Hey, Chick.

[C]

Jess Hooker has fallen by.

[H]

Hello there.

[A]

I got a question for.

[C]

Hi, Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick McGee.

[D]

Hello. Please don't talk over my name being Josh Arnold.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Your name again?

[D]

Josh Arnold.

[A]

Oh, thank you very much.

[C]

Always.

[A]

I often forget. I like that pajama top look, Jess.

[H]

Thanks, Tom.

[A]

Sweet.

[H]

My question, it's just a button down with stripes. It looks like pajamas to Tom.

[D]

Stripes. Pajamas. I do kind of feel like I should be talking to you through a fence. You're familiar with that story?

[C]

Can you talk to your lawyer today?

[A]

We were talking about this. There was kind of an. A cliche thing in which. Back in the day, in a movie or whatever TV show, if somebody ordered a pizza, they would always say, hold the anchovies.

[H]

Right?

[C]

No anchovies, please.

[A]

And that just seems to be something that never happens anymore. And I guess in the 50s and 60s, was that a staple?

[D]

You know what? Even as late as the 90s, I bet Jess and I could reenact a Nanchovi scene.

[H]

Oh, I'm gonna have to think about it.

[D]

Do you want to be Ross or do you want to be Rachel?

[H]

Oh, I could be Rachel.

[D]

Okay. She's ordering pizza. She's very mad at me.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

And I'm Ross. No anchovies, please.

[H]

If you could just chop them up real fine and put them in the sauce, that would be great.

[D]

He goes, no anchovies. She goes, extra anchovies. And he goes, I'll just pick them off. She goes, if you could chop them

[A]

up real fine, that's great. Michael writes, good morning, y'.

[C]

All. Morning, y'.

[D]

All.

[A]

Because we found out there's a TV show called that. Where is that?

[B]

Yeah, In Tyler, Texas.

[A]

With East Texas. With a very handsome host and a very, very pretty co host. It's called Good Morning y'. All. And that's.

[C]

It's cool.

[A]

It says, I heard you guys talking about anchovies on pizza. Triggered a latent memory summary. I was an assistant manager at Monocles Pizza in Hoopstown, Illinois.

[B]

Monocles does a good job.

[C]

Home of the. Does he have the name of the high school there? The mascot? No, I believe it's the Corn Jerkers.

[D]

Oh. Oh, is it really?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I think so really?

[A]

No. In high school. You know what?

[B]

All right.

[C]

A lot of very satisfied, I can tell you that.

[A]

But, yeah, I'm sorry. I apologize.

[B]

Michael gives a new word to shucking.

[A]

He would butter that corn.

[D]

It ain't gonna shock itself.

[C]

I can watch my own hands.

[A]

Are we done? Can we move on? I'm getting audio requests. Yep. The Corn Jerkers, Hoopstown, Illinois. Monocle's Pizza. Yeah, very good. One night, a few of my buddies came in and wanted to try anchovies.

[C]

Ah.

[A]

They brought their own little cans, so I put them on the pizza with regular topping, stuck it in the oven.

[D]

Oven.

[A]

It stunk the whole place up. Nobody ever tried it again.

[B]

So they don't have anchovies there.

[A]

But I mean that. No, Apparently I remember hearing that all the time, but I don't remember ever going to a place where they said whole that they actually normally put anchovies on a pizza.

[H]

Yeah, I thought, like, a supreme pizza used to come with anchovies because it was everything. So if you wanted a supreme and then minus the anchovies, I'd like a

[A]

judgment call on this. We got on the topic of anchovies because the other lady in the room here, I don't want to use her name.

[B]

You can use my name. I've never had them.

[C]

Talk about a squeaky wheel, huh?

[A]

Gets a Caesar salad with no dressing.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I would contend along with everyone else here, that is no longer a Caesar salad.

[C]

Not only that, but we're getting mail about how irritated the listeners are.

[H]

So your Caesar salad has shaved Parmesan

[B]

and croutons and Romaine. Yes, of course.

[H]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Don't forget the Caesar Romaine.

[D]

Cesar Romaine tells you, a 1950s actor.

[C]

I am Cesar Romaine.

[A]

I am not taking off the mustache to play the joker.

[B]

I don't like Caesar dressing, but I like the salad part.

[C]

And it's not a Caesar salad.

[D]

Yeah, that's one of those things where the dressing does make the. Wait.

[C]

This is a good point, and it hurts my heart to say it. How do you get a Caesar salad? Say, on the side? I guess.

[B]

Yeah. Well, I just say hold the dressing between your knees.

[A]

And am I correct in saying that Caesar salad was invented in Mexico?

[H]

Yes, you are right. Yes.

[A]

It was a guy, so it should be Cesar salad.

[H]

Oh, I don't know how they pronounced it, but I just made Caesar dressing over the weekend. Yeah, delicious.

[D]

So you've actually bought anchovies and kind

[H]

of do the whole thing? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

She has a. You have an Anchovy farm. I thought. Weren't you gonna do that on the

[H]

other side of town?

[A]

So.

[C]

That's right. You have to drive four hours.

[A]

Are the anchovies ground up in the Caesar dress dressing?

[H]

Yeah, yeah. I have a big wooden bowl. And you do the whole thing? Yeah. Olive oil and lemon capers. Sometimes if you want capers, you can also buy anchovy paste.

[A]

Anchovy paste. Okay, here we go.

[C]

Here we go.

[A]

I just. I just did a little Googling here. Oh, this is interesting.

[C]

Josh, you want to go steal some capers? It'd be the caper. Caper.

[D]

We gotta have a caper.

[A]

I think it should be Caesar because it's. Was invented by Caesar Cardini, widely credited as the inventor of the magnificent Cardini. Italian born chef, restaurateur.

[C]

No, n. Hey, that don't sound Mexican to me.

[A]

In. In Tijuana. Ah, Tijuana.

[C]

That's South San Diego. Believe.

[D]

Yeah, it's an Italian guy doing it. Tijuana.

[C]

About $9, right? Something like that.

[A]

On a busy Independence Day week, they ran low on supplies. He improvised a salad using romaine lettuce, garlic, olive oil, lemon egg, Worcestershire sauce, Parmesan cheese, and croutons.

[D]

Well, he nailed it.

[C]

Hang on.

[A]

Then it says, notably, the original recipe does not include anchovies.

[C]

It's weird. It's not Parmesan.

[A]

Huh?

[C]

It's Parmesan. It's not Parmesan.

[B]

Yeah, that's. He's right.

[C]

Why do you pronounce everything?

[A]

I was reading it rapidly.

[E]

Well, slow down.

[A]

How does. How do you pronounce Parmesan?

[C]

Not Parmesan. Parmesan.

[F]

Yeah, you said Parmesan. We're gonna lay.

[D]

Tom, ask your daughters if they know what anchovies are. Oh, yeah, because you're right. That was a staple punchline for a while. One of the other classic comedy tropes we've lost. Souffle comedy.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[D]

Where you either had to step lightly or be otherwise hilarious.

[C]

Souffle.

[A]

Always funny. By the way, I finally figured out how Groucho developed his famous walk. Walk. All right. He was in our green room trying to come in here and not spill his coffee. Yeah, you do that. You do that thing where you're. You're kind of putting shock absorbers on your knees and trying to.

[D]

Have you ever tried to make a souffle, Jess?

[C]

No.

[D]

I hear that's tough.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You think there's a lady named Sue Flay?

[D]

I hope it's Bobby's wife.

[A]

Bobby Fly.

[F]

Have you guys had relay anchovies oh, yeah, yeah.

[H]

Yes.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

They grow them in the Mykonos.

[A]

Yes.

[F]

Spent some time.

[C]

Time.

[F]

You know what I got right in my gay period.

[C]

By the way, to me, you were never prettier right now in your gay period.

[F]

Oh, I. Yeah, you were lovely.

[D]

Thank you.

[A]

By the way, Ms. Hooker, have you noticed Pat's shirt?

[H]

I like it.

[B]

I do, too.

[A]

Well, you want to listen.

[C]

You guys got to embrace and get that picture. That's like a test pack.

[A]

YouTube Stripes and checks. Here's the sound of Pat shirt. Hey, y'.

[C]

All.

[F]

Never wearing it again. Never wearing it again. I'm always going to wear black.

[A]

Alan brought me these sardines. Sardine fillets in 100 olive oil. I haven't tried them yet. Now.

[D]

They're not mild.

[A]

No, not at all.

[D]

We're not gonna lie to you.

[H]

Are they skin and bone?

[F]

It's perfect.

[A]

It says skinless and boneless.

[H]

You need the skin and the bone.

[D]

I got your bone right here.

[C]

It's my penis when he says bone.

[A]

Oh, thank you. Welcome to the Subtlety Hour. Whatever happened to double entendre? That's your classic single entendre.

[C]

Hey, hey. We need a couple singles. Just move the runner up. That's all we need.

[A]

Yeah, I'm not. I don't.

[F]

You like it? It's good.

[A]

It's too early.

[D]

Yeah, that's a tough call for.

[C]

Are you gonna have.

[D]

Your brain will think. Thank you.

[C]

You know, Jess could tell you the sardines are crazy healthy.

[A]

And my doctor told me that's the one thing in my, Like, a case a day. That's my physical. I got to get more Omega 3.

[H]

If you're nervous to try it, I recommend crisping them up in. On the. On the Stove Top.

[A]

Oh, really?

[D]

Yeah.

[H]

That way you don't get the. I mean, it's. It's just a hard.

[B]

Like in a skillet.

[H]

Yes.

[A]

Do these things. Do these look like little tiny fish? They do.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Got a little face.

[D]

I don't think those will have the head on them.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

From what I can see on the.

[H]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

They probably have a face on them and they have to smile them.

[B]

So do you eat that? Do you eat the whole thing, like, head and all?

[D]

I. I don't. I get the fillets.

[C]

They look exactly like Pepperidge Farm goldfish, only they're.

[F]

You don't get.

[A]

They're made of. They're made of fish. Yep. I see. Yeah. Okay. Well, thank you.

[D]

No, I don't get the head when I get sardine. When I eat sardines.

[A]

Here it comes.

[D]

Girls want nothing to do with me.

[B]

Usually.

[A]

Well, your breath's so bad

[D]

here. Hey, sometimes the low hanging fruit tastes pretty good.

[A]

It's excellent.

[F]

Thank you.

[B]

It's usually the ripest.

[A]

Coming up, Ali Breen has been moved to tomorrow's show. Okay, let's just fire her.

[C]

She shows us zero respect.

[A]

Yeah, that still gives you time to write her a letter.

[C]

I had an ingrown hair. I couldn't call.

[F]

I'm calling.

[H]

Yeah.

[C]

Are you kidding me?

[D]

Well, now we know she's not getting fired. She's probably getting a bonus.

[A]

Coming up. We have that and we have some really interesting stuff going on. And when we come back, we have the wiener dog race.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

And there's a. There's also a very interesting story flying around the Internet involving a trapeze artist.

[D]

Oh, that's a lost art, isn't it?

[A]

Wait till you.

[B]

Horrifying.

[A]

Yeah. Well, there's.

[C]

Did he fall?

[A]

There is a catch. Don't spoil.

[C]

Is it Mr. And Mrs. Trapeze Artist? And they were having a fight and he purposely dropped her. No, no.

[A]

All I'm going to say is don't.

[B]

Don't say anything.

[A]

He deserves it. It's in a double entendre sense. Intercontinental.

[D]

Oh, boy.

[A]

Oh, boy. Incontinent.

[D]

Oh, no.

[A]

When we return to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is the bot we. Course. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[G]

More of the show is on the way. You can find us on X at Bob and Tom or you can email us at Bob and [e-mail].

[C]

and now the winner of the SAG award for best Actor Morning Radio. Whatever. This is Tom Criswell. Hi. Welcome back to. Welcome to the Bob and Top Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[B]

Hello, Chick.

[C]

She's at the News Center. Hello, indeed. There's Pat Godwin.

[F]

Hey, Chick.

[C]

There's Jess Hooker.

[H]

Hello.

[C]

There's Josh Arnold.

[G]

Hi.

[C]

Ace Cosby.

[D]

Howdy.

[C]

I am Chick. Hello, Tom.

[A]

Once again, we are talking about some controversial stuff going on right now in the world. Of course, I'm talking about anchovies on pizza.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Because that was kind of a. A trope almost. Hold the anchovies.

[B]

I can remember my mom ordering pizza pizzas as a kid and saying that.

[A]

But again, it's. I don't. You never hear that anymore. So I did a little bit of homework here.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It says anchovies were used in the earliest traditional Neapolitan pizzas because of their Low cost with respect to cheese being so expensive.

[B]

Huh.

[H]

Okay.

[A]

Isn't that interesting?

[C]

So they couldn't find cheese, so they put a baby fish on it.

[A]

They couldn't pay for it. The cheese was too expensive. Expensive. This says in the United States anchovies. A common standard topping for immigrants in the late 1800s, but became a mainstay staple in the 50s, 60s and 70s. Huh. Popularity declined, they say, starting in the 1980s. So I missed it.

[H]

Do you guys eat anchovies?

[B]

No.

[C]

I don't think I've ever had an anchovies.

[B]

Apparently. My husband said he. He's had anchovies on pizza.

[A]

But again, the. The. The trope, or whatever you want to call it, it would be. There was always. You'd have to say in the. If you watch any sitcoms from that era, someone goes, yeah, hold the anchovies. As if that was the way they standard.

[C]

Would you kiss Lanny if he ate.

[B]

His name is Andy.

[C]

Andy. If you. If he ate anchovy.

[B]

Do they smell bad? I don't know. I would not.

[C]

You wouldn't?

[B]

No.

[A]

However. Anyone want to take this?

[B]

No.

[F]

No, we don't.

[A]

No.

[H]

No, no, no.

[C]

He does that. That.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you. Hell, dude.

[C]

You're welcome. Okay. Somewhere on the website. What the hell, dude.

[A]

Okay. I'm sorry.

[D]

Many dominoes still have anchovies. As some Pizza Hut Huts. And what's that now? I've heard of my voice. Just stop for.

[C]

I've heard of Pizza Hut. I've never heard of Pizza Hut. It's a football. Okay.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

All right.

[D]

So. But some Papa John's.

[A]

But that's something you would have to order. It wouldn't be. It wouldn't come that way normally.

[D]

Right?

[A]

Yeah, it's.

[D]

It's a topping you have to add.

[A]

It's like having a landau roof.

[B]

Nobody has a land out.

[F]

We know what that is.

[H]

I don't either.

[A]

That was the. That was the hideous fake half convertible on Cadillacs back in the 70s. Just awful.

[B]

Crown Vicks at them too.

[A]

Never.

[C]

Never look good. Real low.

[A]

Real low rent. Look like, you know, bad gold jewel with a sweatsuit. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That llamas guy. Wasn't he the.

[A]

Fernando.

[B]

Fernando Lamas was in the commercials for those. Remember that?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Fernando Lorenzo.

[A]

Now we have to move on with our sports broadcast.

[C]

Yes, we do. A Wisconsin hockey team brought back one of its most popular traditions, the annual wiener dog race. A television station called WFRV reports the Green Bay Gamblers hosted the event during Saturday's game. Gaming. The Youngstown Phantom it's not named after Farve, is it? He was very popular in Green Bay. Thirty dachshunds sprinted across the ice with a wiener dog named Louie winning the race.

[D]

Oh, that's.

[C]

The event benefited community. Pause.

[A]

We got the video here. Ready, get set, go.

[D]

They're very cute.

[A]

They are hilarious.

[D]

Like now some know their mission.

[H]

Yes.

[D]

A handful really know what they're supposed to do.

[B]

Oh my. Look at that.

[A]

Are there owners across the other side of the ice? It's all the way the length of the drink. Are they. Are they screaming for the dog?

[D]

No, their owners seem to be. They've got behind with them. But then maybe they have other owners.

[C]

I'm impressed.

[D]

Holding treats.

[C]

I'm impressed. The owners can stay up in the. Stay up on the ice. Yeah.

[A]

Well, look at how cute they are.

[B]

Cute.

[D]

I love dachshunds. My brother and sister in law have two.

[B]

When they're especially long haired ones.

[A]

They're calling it a wiener race. They should call it chili dog.

[D]

Oh, I like that. Why would they not be gold?

[A]

They shouldn't be called like the chili dog run or something because did you see the.

[C]

The wiener dog. That one. That's not. That's not no real wiener.

[B]

That is kind of a mix.

[H]

I think it is of some sort.

[C]

He's not 100.

[A]

Is there a wiener doodle?

[H]

Yeah, there's a doodle of everything.

[A]

Wiener doodle sounds like something a little boy would call his male members.

[C]

It's got to be a woodle.

[A]

A little boy.

[B]

That guy's name was Ace. Did you see that?

[D]

Ace?

[C]

You think, what do you think of their.

[B]

Their mascot?

[C]

Well, it kind of looks like age too. Look at that. Yeah.

[A]

You know, they do this where wieners put buns in the seats.

[D]

Oh, man, you had chili dog, man,

[F]

you should have left chili dog.

[H]

Should have stopped there.

[C]

It's so sad to see a kid go up like that. Really sad.

[D]

The old sophomore slump.

[A]

Yeah. But the thing is, nothing could be worse than Pat's lobster bisque joke.

[F]

Oh, that was so fun.

[C]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

That opens the door for all of us to get the swing and miss. We can all. We can swing and miss all day.

[D]

So when one of us has a real bomb, the rest everybody else gets a get out of jail free card. Yeah, okay. Yeah, Absolutely.

[A]

Yeah. You know, we didn't strike out with. With three on base, behind by two at the end of the game with two outs. No, no, that was the lobster bisque joke. That's gonna go down in history with the, the, The Lentil soup and Easter bisque.

[C]

Yeah, still not.

[A]

There's nothing there. Call Jeff Bodard.

[C]

So that's what you were going.

[F]

Yeah, I know. Dumb.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Real dumb.

[C]

Hey, keep an eye on Josh.

[F]

What kind of jacket I wear? What size?

[C]

Kind of. What kind of jacket? Yeah.

[F]

A 40. Stupid.

[A]

How about this one? When it comes to what? Wait a minute, hang on. I got to think of the name of the thing. When it comes to wiener dogs, or in this case, when it comes to weenies on ice. I think of that TV show, Heated rivalry.

[B]

Oh, boy.

[D]

No, I mean, are they banging in the rink?

[B]

No, they're not banging in the ring. No.

[A]

That's the name of the next episode. Banging in the Rink.

[B]

They play on opposite teams. They're never in the same. You know what I meant?

[A]

Even though it's like they're in a ballpark.

[D]

Do you get any arousal seeing two men kiss?

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. You like that?

[B]

This show. I don't know if it's arousal as much as it's very interesting to see the relationship unfold. It's kind of.

[D]

Are they actually gay guys or they.

[B]

They are not talking about it, are they? I thought they.

[C]

No one is, like, engaged. His. A girl.

[H]

No, no. I need one of those warnings before I see two guys kiss. Like, hey, flashing lights.

[C]

Be careful.

[H]

Kissing.

[C]

Yes. I mind my own business. The day is long, but when six feet under and there's a gay.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Kiss for the first time. I. I got the squirmies.

[D]

I'm with you, dude.

[B]

I, I. Yeah, I got the squirmies. When?

[C]

Yes. Yes. Yeah.

[D]

I'm not proud of that, but it is.

[B]

Yeah, it just is.

[D]

There is something where I go, oh, you know what? I'm. I am not a gay man.

[C]

Now, if you want to go have a beer and a dog, I'm in, but don't do that. We're not kissing.

[B]

What kind of bothered me was the young one man has not. He's exploring his gay side. He'd never been with a guy before.

[A]

Be the back.

[C]

Well, the gay side.

[B]

That's exactly what I'm talking about. And they have not gone that far yet.

[C]

I have not gone to that.

[B]

And when they do, it's very hot.

[A]

Odiferous.

[F]

Is that fourth? Is that whole fourth base hard to watch.

[H]

Graphic.

[B]

Not great. I mean, I see they don't show like a porn, but they show enough.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what's going on?

[D]

I have not even seen these two dudes. Are they attractive?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Okay. They're handsome men. Oh, yeah.

[B]

They're very. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Have you seen the barbecue tool you can get? It's a little man with a, with a piece of metal that sticks out like it's his peanuts. You put a hot dog on there, set it on your grill.

[A]

What?

[D]

I. I have not.

[C]

Yeah, and you get like five or six of them standing around and you put up on the grill and they got.

[D]

So it's like a barbecue jerk.

[C]

Yeah, like hot dogs.

[A]

What?

[C]

Yes, yes, yes. I don't know what kind of website they think that I.

[D]

That would be.

[C]

They want to sell me, but I bought six. Is that too many?

[A]

I'm so sorry.

[C]

Actor Christo Fernando Fernandez from Ted Lasso is making news and Josh will have. Have the thoughts about Ted Lasso when we come back.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Good.

[A]

To be distinguished from heated rivalry.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

A little different.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's the, the.

[C]

Is Ted gay?

[A]

Is that, is that. Obviously it's on cable of some sort or whatever.

[C]

On hbo.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's really not. It's really pretty good.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I'm, I mean, disputing that. I was just curious.

[B]

I know that makes a lot of people uncomfortable, but it's, it's.

[H]

I say it's a great storyline.

[B]

It is a wonderful.

[A]

And once again, the working title was a butt puck.

[B]

Oh, God.

[C]

Here's a picture of my. My new barbecue tools. I. I think we have those. There they are. No, you tell me that ain't funny. You have six beers and walk over, you go, hey, hey, chick. How's the food going? Oh, man, those are.

[D]

I like, their heads are tilted to

[A]

where they're looking down, so it looks like it's a. It's a. It's like a foot high sculptor and

[B]

they got the foot long on there. You can.

[C]

The head is bendable. It's kind of like a action figure.

[A]

It's. They're very slender, kind of like a Giacometti sculpture. But

[D]

he's right.

[C]

Right over here. Kiss my ass.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

You guys are both right.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

It was an accurate description.

[A]

It's a inordinately slender man with a. It's hilarious hot dog that attaches to the groin area so it looks like, like.

[C]

Well, you sucked all the fun out of that.

[A]

No, I'm. This is radio. I'm trying to explain it to people. So how did you get this? Did. Are you on some list?

[C]

No, that you. You go on Instagram for five minutes and everything starts popping up.

[B]

Hey, I bet that'll be on your Instagram now.

[C]

Everybody's going to get it now. That We've talked.

[D]

I have a feeling that I'll be on all of our desks next Christmas.

[F]

Tom's face.

[A]

Well.

[D]

Oh, you got to put your little head on there. And I mean, come on.

[C]

Yeah. And if you do do that, if there is a little head, Christy doesn't want you to kiss her.

[B]

Oh. With your cowboy hat, too. You need that one.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Yes. Just the cowboy hat and cowboy.

[A]

That's the broke back special. Where was I? Oh, I know. How is everybody?

[B]

Great.

[A]

I'm fine. Thanks for asking.

[C]

I'm sick of it.

[A]

You know, something you lost. I love this next thing. There's a picture right there on my aura frame. That's me and Al Jackson.

[B]

There is.

[A]

And if you get one of these aura frames, it doesn't come with that photo because you load it with your own photos. Unlimited photos, videos. These are so cool. And it rotates for you so it's sitting on your desk perhaps. And you can just look at all these great memories. It's a terrific gift. It's called the aura frame. Aura. I'm a huge fan. As soon as we started talking about it, I went and bought one. And it's in my house. You go in by the garage and there it is right there. There as you enter into the house.

[C]

That's your house. Huh?

[A]

You can see all kinds of photographs. Now, the cool thing about this is Ms. Hooker loaded a bunch of those photos. So did I. And I loaded them from my home. Even though that frame was right here. It's some kind of electricity magic. I don't know how it works.

[C]

He's not acting. He is fascinated.

[A]

Admittedly, I had to have my then 12 year old daughter help me. So free unlimited storage with the aura frame. A U R A. It's a great gift and you can knock 35 bucks off the price if you drop my name. The code is tomouraframes.com and Aura Frames. The easiest way to share memories. It was named number one by Wirecutter. And once again, you can save by visiting auraframes.com the code word is Tom. 35 bucks off their bestseller, the Carver Matte frame. It's a matte black. It's just beautiful. Support the Bob and Tom show by mentioning us when you check out and use the code word Tom. Once again, aura frames dot com. These are super cool. I highly recommend them. Maybe just a nice random gift or get one for yourself. Coming up, we have an odd story out of the Dominican Republic. We have. Do you want to get microchipped at work? And we have a new app of all things in the world of penile management, if you will. Personal penile management.

[D]

Oh, oh, okay, Good, good. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Not for. Not like.

[C]

So I can't control collection. I can't control your penis from within app. Not yours. I could control mine.

[A]

That's coming soon though. The the broadcast that you're enjoying possibly is coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[C]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee at the news desk.

[B]

Hello.

[C]

Hey, there's Pat Godwin putting his glasses on.

[A]

Hello.

[D]

Hello indeed.

[C]

There's Jess Hooker.

[H]

Hello.

[C]

Rubbing her hands. Evidently she's a little chill. There's Josh Arnold.

[D]

Hi there.

[C]

There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom.

[A]

Hello, Chick McGee. I know we have a couple more sports stories, but I prefer that. I thought we would enlighten you with a little bit of history.

[C]

Oh, all right.

[A]

I do this every day. Teach you about what's happening. What we're standing on the shoulders of giants. Of course.

[D]

I missed a birthday yesterday. Yesterday. So I would like to correct that my youngest brother Joey.

[C]

Wednesday.

[D]

His birthday was yesterday.

[B]

Joey.

[D]

He's, as we say in Missouri, farty far. So.

[A]

Yeah, very good. Is he married or.

[D]

Love you, Joe. He is married.

[B]

Why did I think he was single?

[D]

No, I'm. Everybody's married but old number two.

[F]

Oh, funny, funny. Josh never married.

[A]

Yes, he confirmed the bachelor, if you will.

[D]

Grandpa would say. Oh, you mean the one who was in show choir. Never married, you say?

[A]

That's a shock.

[D]

How about that?

[C]

He has the loveliest collection of poison.

[A]

Let's see. Happy birthday. 1678. Antonio Vivaldi.

[B]

Oh, I've heard of him.

[C]

Oh, the big four Seasons. That's right, baby. Woohoo.

[A]

He wrote that in Italy, so.

[C]

Yeah, he did.

[A]

The seasons were quite pleasant.

[D]

Oh, I bet.

[A]

Yeah. Really hard to tell them about.

[D]

Visit Italy. What's. What's season? Should I pick?

[A]

Oh, any season is great. I.

[B]

Summer's hot as hell, I can tell you that.

[A]

Spring it would be in summer.

[C]

There it is. I think Alan Alden name owes him money. Right. For the Four Season movie. And now the Four Season TV. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Nice Hotel VI's. Happy birthday. No, please continue.

[C]

No, no, no, I. I'm enjoying this.

[D]

He does owe me money, Johnny.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Is that a passable.

[C]

I wish I could do an Alan All. You know, Bill Hader's Alan Alda is Amazing.

[F]

That is.

[D]

Yeah.

[F]

Josh's is terrible.

[A]

Happy birthday, Chaz.

[C]

Bono Radar.

[A]

Is it pronounced Chaz or Shaz?

[C]

Remember, I was going to. I'm Charles. I was for a while.

[A]

I understand he's currently. He owns a bar.

[D]

Oh, really?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Chaz Lombard Lounge.

[D]

It's very relaxing. Yeah.

[A]

You are really bad. Since you attempted the lobster bisque joke, I'm gonna try anything today.

[C]

My question would be, at what point did you get confidence that you feel like you can just go ahead?

[D]

Apparently it was Easter bisque.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

It really made Tom think he could get away with anything.

[C]

Is that what happened?

[A]

Yes.

[D]

You know why I pulled you over, Officer? Didn't you hear the Easter bis joke? You know what? You're free to go.

[C]

All right. Happy. Slow it down. Next time.

[A]

1990. Draymond Green of.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Of the NBA. The lawyers.

[C]

Do not cheat yourself. Go online and. And Google Steph Curry blandly listening to Draymond Green rant. So good, and it is so wonderful. Steph wasn't playing. He's standing there in this real nice jack and a ball cap, you know, and they were in a heated exchange, and Draymond's got. Everybody's sweating, and. And Steph's just staring at me. You gotta. And one of the captions was, something about your girl is trying to tell you something you're not, and she's having

[H]

a crash out, and your response is. And he's just there, and he's shaking his head.

[C]

Yeah, wonderful. Look that up.

[A]

This says his son is named Cash.

[C]

Cash Green.

[A]

Cash Green. It's kind of redundant. I don't know. Okay.

[C]

He's got a pretty good podcast out there.

[A]

Let's do some. Let's do some history with respect to the founding of this country. Century 1801, Thomas Jefferson became the first president inaugurated in Washington, D.C. his first line was, they named it after him,

[C]

the crazy drunk.

[A]

Then he looked across the way and he goes, why is there something called the Lincoln Memorial? It was very confusing.

[D]

You know, all those names may change soon.

[C]

I. I really want to see. My dad used to say, man, I wish I knew how this was all going to turn out. I can't wait.

[A]

But, yeah, Jefferson inaugurated. He was a. Moving on up, if you will, to the son of a White House.

[C]

He just.

[A]

This is interesting.

[C]

I don't know why, but I'm mad at Pat

[A]

now. You know, this. The famous inauguration, it featured the. The Marine band. That's right.

[C]

And the Brothers John.

[A]

Because the Navy band couldn't dry off.

[H]

We gotta stop it we have to stop him.

[C]

We need an ag.

[A]

He. This was. Think about it. It's March.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And they were inaugurating a president.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

And Jefferson Dennis speech did say it's way too nice today. We should do this in January.

[D]

Yeah. Why don't we do this in January?

[C]

You hear the nothing.

[A]

I mean, it is interesting that they're

[B]

the one that wanted to inaugurate a president on April 16th.

[A]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. The election should be on the day before taxes are due April 14th. Okay, let's see. How about this one here? Do you know what Any significant facts about James Madison, Christie Lee? No. I ask you for a reason.

[C]

He was. He was very handsome.

[D]

I guess was his wife, Dolly Madison.

[A]

Yes, but he was.

[B]

She makes a good cake.

[A]

He was. He was, I think, the shortest president in history. Right?

[H]

Oh, really?

[A]

I think so. I don't know.

[B]

Teddy Roosevelt wasn't short him.

[C]

Or Coolidge.

[B]

Or did you just make him me?

[A]

Because I think it's Madison. And he, of course, appears on the $5,000 bill.

[D]

Weird.

[A]

No longer in circulation.

[C]

Thanks. You said what's odd about.

[A]

Here's what it says here. It says, James Madison, the first president inaugurated wearing American made clothes.

[C]

Huh.

[B]

Well, where'd they come from before that?

[D]

Oh, Europe, probably.

[A]

How odd that is. And if you look closely at manufacturing this photograph, you can see oshkosh Bagash right there in his suit.

[B]

Was he wearing a size 2 toddler?

[C]

He was wearing Ray Bans. Ray Bans? But they weren't polarized. They hadn't come up with that yet.

[D]

Oh, no.

[A]

1847, William Henry Harrison delivered the longest presidential inaugural speech. It was way longer than an hour. And you know what happened to him?

[B]

He got sick, didn't he?

[A]

Yeah, he famously died. Died? I don't know, like a month later.

[D]

Don't they say he kind of caught cold doing that?

[B]

Yeah, that's what they said. Right.

[D]

Well, like back then when you. You sneeze and the doctor goes, well, you have two weeks.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

We got nothing. If only we had something to kill the germs.

[A]

Yeah, I know. They famously asked the crew that was helping out with the speech. They gave him the light after 35 minutes and he just stayed up there.

[D]

Don't you hate those?

[A]

A little stand up comedy joke. Lastly, of all things, in 1909, this was the date that William Howard Taft was inaugurated. Famously during what? Anyone remember this one? What year in 1909, William Howard Taft

[D]

inaugurated during a Oscar night and people didn't know what to watch?

[A]

No, it was during a Snowstorm in which 10 inches of snow fell. And they knew that it was 10 inches because Taft took his Subway sandwich, which there were still 2 inches showing. Yeah, he helped you with that show. I needed all the help.

[D]

He was a large man, wasn't he?

[A]

Oh, this is a good one. Did you find this photograph, by the way? And I don't know how to. I'm going to pronounce this incorrectly. I apologize. Is it pronounced humility or hubris? Wait, wait. Hubris.

[D]

Hunter.

[A]

No. Is it pronounced Nosferatu or Nosferatu?

[C]

I've always said Nosfert. Nosferatu is what I've said.

[A]

Really?

[D]

Well, that's wrong on many levels.

[A]

No, I'm sticking to it.

[D]

I like the way you say it.

[A]

Do you know it was just. It was just remade.

[D]

Right. Let's see if I say, have you seen the new Nosferatu? I'm a Nos guy.

[C]

Okay.

[F]

I think it's nice.

[A]

In 1922, the first Nosferatu slash. Nosferatu.

[C]

Wrong.

[A]

Was. It's considered to be the first vampire film.

[B]

I saw that recently.

[D]

F.W. murnau. Yeah, it's good. It holds up.

[A]

And Nosferatu. I did this math on this. It's an anagram for use on farts. Oh, so what?

[C]

He is not stopping.

[B]

What the hell does that even mean?

[F]

It means horse and Easter basket.

[D]

Recently, there was a.

[B]

That doesn't make any sense.

[D]

It was a hip hop slash sort of gothic song that came out from Lil Nasu X.

[H]

Well done.

[A]

Okay.

[F]

All right, we're back.

[C]

The judges are gonna allow it there.

[A]

So is this. Is this Nosferatu guy separate from Dracula?

[D]

Yeah, because they. Honestly, it was a rights issue. They did not have Bram. Bram Stoker's whatever.

[A]

The.

[D]

The permission to do Dracula. So they did Nosferatu.

[A]

They just gave it a different name.

[D]

Same. Yeah.

[A]

This is like the Hydrox. The Hydrox cookie, if you will.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

It's not an Oreo.

[D]

Okay, that's great.

[B]

And the new one is really art direction. In the old one, though, it's so cool.

[D]

Well, that famous shadow, he's going up the stairs now.

[A]

Christy, this will make you a keel over. In 1927, Babe Ruth became the highest paid player in Major League Baseball history with a three year contract per season paying about $70,000 with the new York Yankees. Yankees. That would be only 1.3 million today.

[B]

No, he got ripped off.

[C]

Yeah, right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

At least that's. I did the math on that.

[C]

Good.

[A]

That's. I mean, what are the what's a average major league baseball player make today? A lot like 10 million or something

[C]

an hour plus an assistant. No, there are.

[A]

I'm. Aren't there. There are baseball players. That makes 70, 000 a day.

[C]

We're, we're. We're looking at a billion dollar contract. Oh yeah. How long ago was Alex Rodriguez is for 10 years, 240 million or whatever the major. 24. Yeah, I'm.

[B]

I thought it was 26 million a year. Right. Wasn't that it or something like that.

[A]

But Babe Ruth also.

[C]

I.

[A]

It doesn't say that here, but he was paid partially in hot dogs, which would take it up 2 million.

[D]

Taft was too

[A]

fun.

[C]

Oh, you're running to change the country. Oh, I'm running for the hot dog now.

[A]

Josh and I can argue about this one. 1952. Ernest Hemingway finished the Old man in the Sea on this date.

[D]

I love it.

[A]

I, I'm not a fan. I'm. I, I'll take in our time Any, any time over that. Hemingway had to finish it on this date because his book report was due on Thursday morning and he had to. Had to get it polished.

[B]

Have you read Movable Feast?

[A]

I have not recently.

[B]

Oh yeah, I liked that one.

[D]

I've not read the full catalog. I've only read four or five.

[A]

I just reread the Sun Also Rises. Man. Is there a lot of drinking in that dude?

[B]

Well, he was a drinker.

[A]

Every.

[D]

I know, but you can't believe it.

[A]

Yeah, Every scene when we went down

[D]

to breakfast and like you feel hung over. Read like it's just like, God, they're still drinking and it's 5am yes.

[A]

The old Man.

[C]

Yeah. What's the problem?

[A]

The Old man and the. Have you ever read the Old man in the Sea?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Spoiler alert. The sea wins.

[D]

Well, it's about aging and growing up.

[A]

Wonderful book titled, subtitled A Shark Ate my Marlowe. Was it?

[F]

I have a book about me and my son. It's called the Old man in the C section.

[D]

Look at how overjoyed Tom is.

[C]

Tom is so. Tom loves that.

[D]

He's so happy.

[A]

I was going to stop, but now I can go nowhere but up. Pat, this one's for you.

[D]

I thought the bombs were just falling in Iran.

[C]

Oh, wait a minute.

[A]

In 1966. Pat, you'll know that. What famously did John Lennon say that? Got a lot of publicity. That the Beatles were the biggest Jesus. That's right. And of course they were referencing Mishooker Jesus. Aloo. The famous Maddie Felipe

[D]

Jesus Was in God. God's office. Kind of just thumbing through a magazine and down, down on earth. We're bigger than Jesus. Jesus kind of looks up and goes, what'd that guy just say?

[A]

Well, see, that was the British invasion. Jesus was bigger during the Roman invasion, if you want to get technical about it.

[D]

Dad, did he just say what I hear?

[C]

I didn't say we're bigger than the Jews. I just said we're not more important to the boy. That's a him going on and on. I didn't say that. I don't know why they closed.

[A]

Well, God got back to him. I got two words, Yoko Ono. Let's see now, we're not quite done here.

[C]

Oh, we're done.

[A]

Do you think it's interesting that a culture. Don't you think it's kind of ballsy to name your kid Jesus?

[D]

Yeah, well, Jesus is one thing. Yeah, really? It's not the same.

[A]

What do you mean it's a the same?

[D]

Well, I mean it doesn't have the same. It's a. It's a cultural thing.

[C]

Can you name a child Buddha or Muhammad?

[A]

That's the most popular name in the world.

[D]

Don't draw a picture.

[C]

According to McLovin, but Buddha. There must be somebody named Buddha, right?

[A]

I am sure his kids. I mean, why not? People smoke a lot of pot. We're gonna name him Buddha. Good luck to that kid. Hope he can throw a pizza.

[C]

And then there's hatred.

[A]

2005, on this date, Martha Stewart was released from prison.

[B]

Oh, yes.

[A]

I thought that was a really tasteful neck tattoo that she had.

[D]

Wasn't that nice?

[A]

She said, no, I love Shirley.

[B]

That was an interesting documentary. Did you watch that one chick?

[C]

No.

[B]

Martha Stewart. Yeah, I was.

[A]

Did she give her pruno recipe?

[B]

No. She made some friends in prison. Yeah, she made a lot of friends in prison.

[C]

I have trouble watching a woman of that age do anything really. I don't care for that.

[D]

Hey, I have a crafting question. Who in this room I've always wanted to know. I don't know how to do this. Okay, you take your scissors. Martha Stewart in jail is what made me think of this. Okay, so you take your scissors and you have a ribbon. Oh, you curl it and you kind of curl the ribbon with the scissors. I end up either cutting my hand or the ribbon does nothing.

[B]

You've got to get it on the right side.

[D]

Oh, I'm gonna have to use on the right side, Tom.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Flat sided.

[A]

I don't know how to do that, yeah, yeah. But you were thinking of scissoring.

[D]

Oh yeah. You know, Martha Stewart did some scissors.

[F]

She had to.

[A]

I think they're gonna like a remake of Shot of Shawshank. Except she's gonna have one of those live Laugh Love posters and she has all.

[D]

Nice party. It's a Shawshank reception.

[C]

That's nice. It's a nice cap. I was more surprised that it actually had some humor there. What we've been doing Shawshank's C section. You go. Nope. Hey. Are you like me? Are you out the door?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That's where Simply Safe and the My home security system. I've been a big, I'm a big fan of Simply say for over 10 years now. I installed it. That's how easy it is. Traditional security systems only take action after someone has already broken in. That is too late. Simply Safe has active guard outdoor protection that can help prevent break ins before they happen. AI powered cameras backed by live professional monitoring aids. Agents monitor your property and detect suspicious activity. If somebody's lurking, being suspicious, agents see and talk to that person in real time. Activate spotlights, even contact the police. All before they have a chance to get inside your home. No long term contracts or cancellation fees. SimpleLife protects over 4 million people and counting and they have a 60 day satisfaction guarantee. And Simplisafe has been named best home security of 2026 by U.S. news World Report and also ranked number one in customer service among home security providers by both Newsweek and USA Today. So why wait? Right now, Bob and Tom show listeners only get 50% off their new SimpliSafe system with professional monitoring. Just go to SimpliSafeTom.com that's SimpliSafe Tom.com for 50% off. Remember, there's no safe like SimpliSafe.

[A]

Thank you very much, SimpliSafe. Thank you very much, Chick Magee. Coming up, we have to finish our sports broadcast. This is unbelievable. We do have some interesting stuff in

[D]

the world of news and I've got to hear this trapeze story.

[A]

Yes, it's. This thing has sort of taken over a certain aspect of the, of the Internet.

[D]

So, you know, it's what I think it is.

[C]

It's.

[A]

It's worse that's coming your way. So I hope you can hang out with us and we're gonna come back

[C]

when we come back. Is that right?

[A]

Well, when we return, we'll be here. I hope you are too. Yeah, we like to come. Come back to where we were when we started.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Huh. And I'm gonna see if Pat can top his lobster bisque joke, which is going to go down in history, is the turducken of Easter soup.

[F]

And there's Easter bisque and the Shawshank

[C]

C section or whatever that old man

[F]

in the C section.

[C]

Old man in the C section. What?

[A]

Well, that's what's going on there.

[C]

I think my headphones went out.

[A]

Sir, sir, that isn't a baby you have in there. It's your punch. These are the O'Reilly Auto Part Studio, as I indicated earlier, and this remains the Bob and Tom Show.

[G]

Got a comment to share? Text us at 888-262-8661. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[C]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs, needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee.

[B]

Hello.

[C]

She's at the news desk.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

There's Pat Godwin.

[F]

Hey, check.

[C]

Gonna play song here. Sure, that's what I heard.

[F]

I'm ready to go.

[C]

There's Jess Hooker.

[H]

Hello.

[C]

There's Josh Arnold.

[B]

Is it called Easter bisque?

[C]

This is called Easter Easter bisque. Easter bisque. There's H. Cosby.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

If you're just joining us.

[C]

Hello, Tom.

[A]

Easter biscuits is a new code word for failure.

[F]

Oh, boy, is it ever.

[A]

It is. It used to be.

[C]

Used to be turducken.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah. This is the new Turducken for longtime listeners.

[C]

We have moved on.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

We.

[A]

We haven't finished our sports broadcast.

[C]

I love Christo Fernandez who portrays soccer player Danny Roas.

[B]

I love him.

[C]

Football is life. That. Yes, that's that guy on Ted Lasso. Man, what a great show that is.

[A]

Now what's, what's the premise of Ted Lasso, Josh?

[D]

Oh, it's your classic fish out of water story. Sort of American guy goes over to. They call flashlights torches over here and everybody feels real good about it.

[C]

I've been underestimated all my life. And he wins the dart tournament. According to reports the 35 year old Rojas, which means reds.

[A]

Red stick. Yeah.

[C]

With. He's been with training with Alp. El Paso. Happy old ass. So since last week.

[A]

Week.

[C]

Whoa. And that he played for 30. I'm not scared of anything anymore. He played for 30 minutes during a preseason scrimmage against New Mexico United and he had to be revived at halftime. Oh, I threw that in. Oh, Mr. Fernandez does have a history in the sport of soccer beyond his role on the show. He played in the academy of his hometown side, Tekos FC TCOs.

[A]

That means he played in high school school.

[B]

No.

[D]

What is this?

[C]

Football club played in the academy of his hometown. So maybe it is the high school team. All right, what we would think the high school. He had a serious knee injury at 15.

[A]

So he turns a stunt, I think.

[B]

Oh, what's wrong with that?

[C]

Oh, and by the. Danny has not been confirmed coming back for season four of Ted Lasso.

[D]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, maybe he's auditioning for another job.

[C]

There are people. Hasn't called his people yet, evidently. What do you think of that, Tom?

[B]

He's got to come back.

[A]

I think this is probably orchestrated by the Gotcha.

[B]

By the Lasso people.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, so he's either a professional soccer player or an actor.

[C]

David Rush. That's David Rush.

[B]

Did he give you that story?

[C]

David Rush.

[A]

I have a question, though.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. He's heckling his name.

[A]

His name is Crystal Fernandez, right?

[B]

Yeah. Who? Danny Ross Rojas.

[C]

It's not Crystal. Danny Rojas And Christo Fernando.

[A]

Okay, but isn't this like when they have a dog in a movie and the dog Rover, played by Fido?

[C]

So Danny Rojas is the same as Christo Fernandez?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

He could have used his real name is what you're saying.

[A]

He's a foreigner.

[F]

Aren't we all?

[C]

You know, when I used to do that 30 years ago, it was kind of okay to laugh, I guess. I don't know. I don't know anything anymore.

[A]

But that always funny when they have dogs. I love that they give the other name of the dog. I've always found that hilarious.

[B]

How does the dog know to react if it's got a different name?

[C]

Max was played by hiker.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

David Rush broken the Guinness world record for the furthest behind the back catch of a tennis ball.

[A]

Do we have this? Okay.

[C]

The record to beat was 177ft.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

With his arms behind his back, there comes.

[D]

I admittedly like this kind of stuff.

[A]

Hey, I think one of us could do this.

[D]

He's being hit with a racket. All of a sudden there's a random frisbee.

[B]

But Frisbee.

[A]

No, that's. That's. That's a. That's a visual look at the ring

[D]

around the ball, letting us know where the ball is.

[C]

Egomaniac. Or an Eno maniac. He loves Brian Eno.

[A]

See, I think one of us could do this because the. The trick is this is something My

[D]

brothers and I would do for a

[A]

while behind the back catch.

[C]

I think if you tried long enough.

[A]

Yeah. Eventually you'd get one.

[C]

Yeah, I think so.

[A]

But congratulations, David Rush. One of my personal heroes.

[C]

David Rush said he collaborated with Chris Stumpf. That's s t u m p h. Chris threw the tennis ball. Of course David caught it and he said, quote, all the glory lands on me and all the real work landed on Chris.

[D]

Chris.

[A]

Oh, now if you watch that video again.

[D]

I wish.

[C]

I won't tell. I've forgotten it already.

[A]

Well, it's because you're a cat lover. If you watch the video again, there's a dog. There's a dog. There's a dog in the window going, really? You call that a catch? You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You ever see those Frisbee dogs at the games?

[B]

Yeah, I see my dog catch. She does a pirouette before she catches. Unbelievable.

[A]

Isn't that great?

[B]

Yes.

[D]

What a show off she is.

[B]

I don't know what the hell she's thinking.

[D]

I love when animals are hands.

[A]

Has it ever been determined why dogs do that around the world thing before they.

[B]

And then end up in. Oh, I thought you meant around the world thing.

[C]

And then catch the ball got up from dog lovers. No, dog owners. You know when they're gonna do it?

[A]

I mean.

[C]

Yeah, when they go out there and oh, oh, here we go. Yeah, yeah, I'm right.

[A]

Every time they spin around into the

[C]

crowd, they do the thing and look

[A]

around and I've started to do that. That at home.

[D]

Yeah, why not?

[B]

Oh, that's lovely.

[C]

I know you have go in the

[A]

bathroom, do three twirls, then sit.

[C]

I know you have close friends and I know none of them are here in the room right now, but you would you go out outside to use the bathroom, which you would, but could

[A]

you be able to do. No.

[C]

Right next to your best friend like my dogs do.

[B]

Number two.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, the whole bottle of wash.

[D]

Surely you've been stall to stall.

[H]

Yeah, that's the true.

[C]

Oh, that's true.

[D]

Now, do you want your buddy talking?

[F]

No, no, we were just talking in the stall.

[A]

No, but we were both peeing.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And it was the standard thing. I walk in and Pat goes, God, this water's cold. Then I said, deep too.

[F]

Every time.

[A]

Because you have to really, you ladies, you know, if a lady said that to you, you'd be going, steakums.

[H]

I'm gonna try that next time.

[C]

Hey, if you got stake them, get that looked at. Clean that area Up. Okay, tuck that in.

[B]

God.

[D]

Good.

[B]

Now, the tricks come in all shapes and sizes.

[D]

Oh, boy.

[C]

Some of them are real gross.

[A]

Yeah, there's. Yeah, there's something. Something for everyone.

[C]

Different ideas.

[A]

Hey, you know any blind guys?

[C]

Well, I'm sure you'll hit it off. Let's take a break and stop the show. And I don't mean today's show. I mean stop the show.

[D]

Somebody's got to put it.

[C]

Somebody's got to stop this.

[A]

Coming up, we have a. Where a trapeze artiste.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

Meets incontinence in midair. On the way.

[C]

Please tell me it was in midair

[D]

and falling over the crowd.

[C]

Their kids there with their little spin. Spinny lights things and a mommy.

[A]

Also is the future. Your job involving you getting a microchip implanted in your body so the boss knows where you are? We're gonna find out. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Excuse me. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[G]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show shows also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[C]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Man, that hurt. Yeah.

[D]

What'd you do?

[C]

I trapped my finger in the microphone stand and almost pulled my fingernail off.

[A]

Really? You got guys working. You got guys working in oil rigs that lose their head hand. I can't explain.

[C]

They're not complaining, but I'm sneaky clumsy.

[A]

They put a band aid on it and say, let's keep working. There's Christy Lee in the mic stand.

[C]

Maybe I will kill you and stab you in.

[D]

You're not Mr. Pain Tolerance over there. We've seen you.

[A]

That's because of the pharmaceutical products that our great country has produced. Thank you very much.

[C]

Wait a minute. Hold it. Let him talk now.

[F]

Hey, what do you got, huh?

[C]

There's Pat Godwin Holden. There's Jess Hooker.

[H]

Hello.

[C]

Hello. Josh Arnold.

[D]

Hi there.

[C]

Ace Cosby.

[D]

Hey, Chick.

[C]

Hey, I'm Chick McGee.

[A]

Just yesterday, I took four Advil. Oh.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[F]

I'll get you there.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Screaming headache.

[C]

Wow. Hey, did you hear that, Pat? 4 Advil. Born to be wild.

[D]

Do non bald people know how painful it is is hitting your head once you're bald? Like it's. I don't think, significant difference.

[B]

Are you serious?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Really? I was cleaning out my fireplace the other day, and then I stood up and damned if I didn't slam my Skull into the. What goes over a fireplace?

[H]

Headboard. Fireplace mantle.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Have you ever done that? Hit your headboard on.

[D]

I mean, everything on the mantel shifted. It was so hard.

[A]

And I remember that bit we had about wearing a helmet to bed because you're hitting your head on the headboard and that. We're not allowed to play that anymore.

[C]

No, it was sexual assault.

[D]

Am I allowed to finish my story?

[C]

Go ahead.

[A]

I'm sorry, I'm putting it under lobster bisque, part two.

[F]

Easter bisque.

[B]

It's. Yeah, it's.

[D]

Would you like the story better if you were telling it?

[A]

No.

[C]

Yes, he would. Yes.

[A]

So you hit your head on the mantle. Then what happened?

[D]

It hurt. Oh, my gosh. That would not have hurt as bad four or five, six years ago when I had a little more hair.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, you think that the hair acts as kind of like a. A slippery layer, you know?

[D]

It does?

[B]

Yeah. He acts like he doesn't know what you're talking about.

[C]

See, this is the thing you have. You're so judgmental. You have the judgment of a fully haired person.

[D]

Do you think he thinks I'm more bald than he is?

[C]

Oh, yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Whatever it is, you are less than he is.

[A]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I like the sound of that.

[C]

That's exactly.

[A]

Okay, have we finished sports?

[C]

Yes. What day is. Is it. Is it Friday yet? Christy, what's going on?

[A]

Now, I've got to warn you about this next story.

[C]

Going to warn you.

[A]

You'll see that there is a twist, but go ahead.

[B]

Chris, how did you know what story I was going to do?

[C]

Because you're going to do the one he wants you to do or there'll be consequences.

[B]

Are we talking about the trapeze story?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

A widely circulated news story about a circus performer defecating on the audience is fake.

[C]

Fake.

[D]

I'm so sad.

[A]

If you've seen this, it's floating around.

[C]

I bet it is.

[A]

We did a little bit of research.

[B]

The most recent iteration of the story claims an Italian aerialist performed with stomach problems and had diarrhea during his act. It's a myo fault showering 23 people watching from low.

[A]

See, the beauty of this is. Oh, I wrote that line. The beauty of the story is they make it sound more authentic by having them of certain ethnicities. He's an Italian, but he craps all over people in Spain.

[F]

Did it hit the fans?

[D]

Has he redeemed himself at all?

[A]

That's kind of neutral.

[B]

Oh, no, that was good.

[C]

Know what I'm Sorry. I'm hearing. It's good, Pat. Well done, Pat.

[D]

You've stopped the bleeding.

[C]

Yes. You know, an easier way to do this is just shut up.

[B]

The website Snopes, however, discovered that the story dates back to 2019, when the website there is News posted a satirical article about a trapeze artist with diarrhea who reportedly defecated on 23 people at a circus.

[C]

I've always. I've had it with Snopes. Who's checking up on Snopes?

[B]

Yeah, I. That's. They.

[D]

Somebody did. It's just like this couple.

[C]

Are you pro people? You pro Snopes? Yeah. You're pro Snopes.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Snitches.

[A]

When I. When I first saw this story, I. I just. I was so delighted.

[D]

Of course.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, you think you need to

[A]

convince us of this because, A, I'm a huge fan of trapeze artists and high wire people and B, highwire people. Oh, yeah. People people.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Anyway, and then I found out that Oswe's wondered, what sister in law has a trapeze school?

[B]

Yeah, she does.

[A]

Which is incredible.

[D]

Can we go do that?

[C]

Oh, my gosh, no. Why would you want to do, you

[D]

know, like, you kind of strap on.

[H]

I love that.

[D]

Harnesses.

[A]

I'm just. I don't know much about it, but you'd be a catcher.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Oh, boy.

[H]

They're called a base.

[C]

Oh, we got terms over here. You know what this will be. This will be interesting for you.

[A]

You.

[C]

There might be someone here who knows what they're talking about.

[A]

I hate that.

[C]

I know.

[D]

And I'll have you know I can soar through the air like the.

[C]

That's right.

[D]

You've ever seen.

[C]

I'm Brendan Frazier. I want an Oscar.

[A]

Don't you love those old trapeze movies where they.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

And there's.

[C]

What do you mean, it wasn't a genre. The greatest short on earth.

[A]

And Charles, the trapeze guy, there's some romance thing. Where is he going to drop the guy on purpose

[D]

so that the girl is forced to go with him?

[A]

You know, the great Bambino is banging, banging, banging Mrs. Bambino confusing his stories.

[C]

I. I didn't want to see this at first, but now I find out Babe Ruth said

[A]

he was also a catcher. He was a man of a certain sort of size. Sure you don't want to have the, you know, big guy?

[C]

Josh, if I were you, I'd punch him right in the throat.

[D]

Okay, I'll have my. I'll have my day.

[A]

Okay. So anyway, cir. The crappe is fake.

[D]

So that's a shame.

[B]

It's fake.

[D]

That's a great story. Especially if they were. If she were flipping through the air.

[C]

It's spinning.

[B]

Oh, come on.

[F]

You'd laugh if you saw it in the video.

[B]

No, I would it. They'd be terrified.

[D]

Did they have an AI video to accompany it?

[A]

There's a still photograph of an actual trapeze artist.

[C]

Yeah. Why didn't.

[A]

Maybe somebody did an AI would it

[C]

take like 30 seconds to make an AI of these artists crapping in midair?

[B]

A 64 year old woman has been arrested in the Dominican Republic.

[D]

Man, that's so old.

[B]

Oh. After being accused of disrespecting the national anthem. Anthem. The Dominican Republic has a law prohibiting disrespectful renditions of their anthem.

[C]

Take off your hat.

[B]

The story of Ms. Amaryllis Brito Rodriguez has gone viral. Brito

[H]

did.

[C]

I didn't say it means pen, doesn't it?

[B]

On social media. After she sang the anthem to the high tempo local rhythm called Dembao during a karaoke at a restaurant. No, said Dimbao or Dembo does what?

[D]

Run down Dembos.

[C]

No, Lil John for you.

[A]

I'm not familiar with this work.

[D]

I'm sure.

[A]

I'm sure he's very good.

[B]

A police report issued Tuesday accuses her of disrespecting the anthem by performing it in an urban style genre at a restaurant.

[D]

Oh, Tom's against that as well.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I mean. Well, first, if this were a law. Disrespecting the national anthem in the Dominican Republic is a law.

[B]

Right. If they did it here.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Roseanne Barr would still be in jail.

[B]

Yes. So would Carl Lewis.

[A]

Yeah. Interesting. And of course, the national anthem in the Dominican Republic is Take Me out to the Ball Game, by the way.

[D]

Yes. Yeah.

[A]

A lot of very good ballplayers there, I would imagine. I would imagine if you took the aggregate salaries of the Dominican Republic gents who play in Major League baseball, it would probably, probably be larger than the gross national product of the Dominican Republic.

[D]

Maybe.

[A]

They get paid a lot of money.

[B]

Yeah, they do.

[A]

Now. We don't have that law here, but I am a big fan though of. Of artists that take some chances with the national anthem.

[B]

And are you? I am.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

There's this Jose Feliciano thing. He fell in love with one guy.

[A]

Oh, no, there was. The one at the super bowl was great.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

There weren't too many chances taken with that.

[A]

But I mean there. It's become a little more artistic than Just having the, you know, generic white boy choir sing it.

[D]

It's certainly a thankless gig. And so I appreciate anybody that does it.

[F]

I did it.

[D]

Oh, really?

[A]

What was the event?

[F]

Philly. A Phillies Cubs game.

[B]

Wow, that's a big deal online.

[A]

Yeah. And the secret is you got to start low, right?

[F]

Start low

[A]

because Rockets. Red glare creeps up on you.

[F]

It all creeps up on you.

[A]

Not everybody can make I feel like

[C]

I'm being creeped up on.

[A]

And the rockets, you get that alfalfa thing.

[C]

You know the alfalfa thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm over here. What are you doing?

[B]

No, it's time to take a break, dude.

[A]

It's not.

[C]

Hey, it's not Wednesday. Hey, it's not Wednesday. It's not Tuesday, it's not Friday.

[A]

No.

[B]

Guess what it is.

[C]

It's Hyundai.

[B]

That's exactly right. Into the Hyundai getaway sales event. Event, ladies and gentlemen. And you can get away with a deal. So right it almost feels wrong if loving you is right I don't want to be wrong right now. You get great deals on our most popular models. Here's Freddie Fender, including the adventure ready SUVs like the Hyundai Santa Fe or Santa Fe hybrid. Or of course, my favorite, the Tucson. The Tucson Hybrid. I love that car. Plus there's the bold and stylish Elantra, loaded with the latest in technology. And don't forget Hyundai's all electric. The Ioniq 5 or Ioniq 9.

[C]

Ionic pandameter.

[B]

Get into your local Hyundai dealer.

[A]

It's really pointless.

[B]

And get a deal you'll love during the Hyundai getaway sales event. Visit HyundaiUSA.com for all the details. That's HyundaiUSA.com you know, Alanis Morissette bought

[D]

one of those and she asked the salesman, isn't this ionic?

[C]

Yes, yes.

[B]

I really do think.

[C]

Wonderful. Would she go to a movie with you? No, I can't.

[D]

The other song. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. She didn't see all of it, if you know what I mean.

[B]

No, she didn't.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

She got eyes on top of her head.

[A]

They call it the getaway because you're going to get away with a great deal. Don't forget the Palisade. No cleats on the seats from Hyundai. Thank you very much. Coming up, we have an app in the realm of phallus dissatisfaction, if you will. Will. And it's quite interesting. I predict an off label use of this.

[B]

You do?

[A]

I'm just telling you right now. You'll find out what I'm talking about and perhaps embrace it. Perhaps Reject it.

[D]

Would you like to embrace mine?

[A]

I'll get the tweezers. These are the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Hello.

[C]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the News Dash.

[B]

Hello.

[C]

Pat Godwin. Hey, what do you do, Pat?

[D]

What is it?

[A]

I don't know anymore.

[H]

He has so much going on.

[C]

He does. He's. He's a flurry of activity.

[A]

But what?

[C]

One song, two songs.

[D]

What was it?

[F]

Oh, new songs, baby.

[C]

New song.

[A]

Today we got a jokes. We got a new one coming.

[C]

There's Jess Hooker.

[B]

Hi.

[C]

There's Josh Arnold.

[D]

Hi there.

[C]

Ace Cosby's here. Hey. Hey, indeed. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom. Where do we go? What are you doing?

[A]

Let's. I want to hear the. This song. What's going on over there?

[F]

Well, they're new. It could suck. You never know. I've had a weird day.

[B]

Why do you say that? You. If you put out that bad, negative energy.

[A]

I'll just do the intro. Ladies and gentlemen, based on what he's done so far, this new song, the Ballad of Lobster Bisque.

[F]

No, no. Easter bisque. Easter bis lentil.

[C]

Why do you keep saying lobster for Easter? You think Jesus has claws?

[A]

Jesus Claws was slightly heavier.

[C]

That would make sense.

[A]

What is. Do we need any context here?

[F]

Not really. You sung a little bit of American Pie before, and it reminded me of my Tiki Bar days. I'll sing. Sing about that. I'm a guy with a guitar at the Tiki Bar Playing cover songs for Boomers. My case is open for tips. I used to work the ships. No, I don't know dreams from rumors. I know most Beetle tunes and some James Taylor songs But I've just about had my fill of requests for Wagon Wheel, American Pie and Margaritaville. Where did I go wrong in my career? I thought I'd go real far. I'm no rock star Just a guy with a guitar out of South Florida Tiki Bar. Years ago I got fired from the cruise ships when someone yelled, do American Pie I said, I hate that effing guy. But I didn't say effing. I once opened for that guy. I hate him. You can't curse on a cruise ship. So I got sent home from Ensenada. I flew back to Fort Lauderdale. I work a joint now down by the harbor. That's why I don't drink anymore. I don't drink any less. I'm a survivor, not a star. I'm just a guy with a guitar and a tip jar Banging boomer broads from the tiki bar. I'll do this till I die, but I won't play American Pie. F that guy.

[B]

That's so true. Though if you go to any down

[D]

in Florida, I always felt like it was probably a pretty good gig.

[B]

I always felt you gotta walk. Sorry for those guys, really.

[D]

Oh, oh, you gotta walk out of there. Wins 200 bucks a night.

[A]

Oh, they're.

[F]

It's about a one. Yeah.

[A]

There are a couple of those guys at some. At some major bars that.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Make a great living.

[D]

Yeah, you do that for four hours a night. The rest of the time you just chill out.

[A]

The thing is, the key is the repertoire. I. There's no way to not sound this lofty and pretentious. But then it's me, so of course, why was.

[C]

We were in qualify.

[A]

Yeah, I know. I'd probably have to buy. Now we were in Vail and we were walking by one of these.

[C]

We were in Vail.

[F]

There's a guy in Vail. The real good guy there.

[A]

Yeah, he is. He is very good.

[C]

Yeah, Steve. Good guy.

[A]

This. This wasn't that guy.

[F]

Oh, it's a bad guy.

[C]

Oh, this is a bad guy.

[D]

Bad guy.

[B]

This is Brad. Bad guy.

[A]

No, it was. It was.

[C]

It was a good guy guy, though.

[A]

The thing is, it's about the repertoire. Sure. There are. There are lots of great oper ski songs or whatever.

[C]

Opre ski one more time.

[D]

Honestly, I am kind of with Christian. What is like a classic oper ski song?

[A]

Well, it's just.

[F]

Is there songs about skiing?

[A]

No, no. Well, not really. It's just there's. It's got to be kind of upbeat and fun. Me and Julio and this guy was just playing all these really soft, sad dirges. Just kind of missing the point.

[C]

Hey, man, that's what his head space is.

[A]

You know, no one wants to get off the chairlift and look at some snow bunny and hear Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. It's a great song, but.

[C]

And do you want to get off the chairlift and look at a snowboard?

[A]

I have my own snow bunny I bring with me.

[F]

Oh, taking sand to the beach, huh?

[A]

I'm not sure what that means.

[C]

Yeah, me either.

[D]

You don't have to to bring your own. They're all there.

[C]

Okay, I defend your right to say

[A]

it, but you understand what I mean. There's certain songs you just don't want to. They're too sad.

[D]

Sure, sure.

[A]

You don't want to be sitting there with a bunch of folks. They're having a great time. And all of a sudden he plays Tears in Heaven.

[B]

That's always a downer.

[D]

That might cause me to leave the apres ski.

[A]

Well, Josh, I'm sure if you're ever at an apres ski, you'll be either the one waiter or the bartender.

[D]

I'd rather be on an operating table than at an operation.

[A]

Too much fun.

[C]

I don't know.

[D]

Is it? Is it?

[C]

Yes. What? How many runs do you have a

[B]

beer after your skiing?

[C]

How many runs a day you get?

[A]

It depends.

[C]

Well, humor me.

[D]

Boy, there's not much powder on the third run, is there?

[A]

Well, as it happened, I spent most of my time on chair two. The back bowls were closed, exposed.

[C]

You know, you've got to be nice about that if you want the back bowl. Yeah.

[D]

I'm gonna walk away and just set my head in the fireplace.

[A]

What do you have against skiing? You'd be great at it.

[C]

Do they sell fake casts that you can just put around your leg and sit in front of?

[A]

I could get you a fake cast tomorrow.

[B]

Or you can just use a boot. Everybody.

[C]

You know what?

[F]

I believe that.

[C]

I would like to see that.

[D]

No.

[C]

Go online.

[A]

Google fake cast.

[D]

Sure, sure.

[C]

But I. I would do that. I'd love to go come join you guys, but I'm gonna sit here by the fire. I broke my leg.

[A]

There's a store in Orlando that sells them so people can go to Disney World, not have to get in line.

[D]

That's amazing. If there was that right there in Kissimmee.

[A]

Mickey Fakers.

[D]

Oh, man.

[C]

Mickey Fakers.

[B]

There's nothing. There's nothing wrong with sitting by the fire with a hot toddy waiting for people to come back.

[A]

Fun.

[F]

Andy, more hot toddy.

[B]

Andy won't ski.

[A]

No. Yes.

[C]

Chrissy, I'll get you a hot toddy. Hang on a second. I have to go to the restroom.

[A]

Now, Pat, have you ever had a bar gig like that where you're.

[F]

Oh, many.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You wanted to. You wanted to sing along. Song. The killer is the John Denver Virginia song. That thing gets the crowd going.

[F]

Virginia. Country roads.

[B]

Country roads.

[A]

West Virginia.

[D]

Well, sure, yeah. West Virginia is.

[A]

I know it's near Virginia, but it's.

[C]

I'm disappointed he said it that way, and I'm disappointed I understood what he's talking about.

[A]

That's. That gets the crowd going nuts.

[D]

Yeah, they'll sing along.

[B]

Most of those single tiki bar guys are just kind of filler. Like you're at the pool.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you're just sitting there having. You know. At least that's the good ones can

[A]

really engage the audience. And they'll do single.

[B]

That's a band. Maybe, but I don't know. Just a single guy.

[A]

Bob used to do it. Bob's great at it.

[B]

Well, I can see Bob. Yeah.

[D]

Pat, have you ever done a dueling pianos place?

[F]

I did do a dueling piano place. I was a piano guy when I first started out.

[D]

Those can be a riot.

[B]

Those can be fun.

[A]

Yeah, they do a lot of our stuff uncredited. Oh, you hear a lot of Haywood stuff.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You sound bitter.

[D]

You sound like you want something.

[B]

What do you want from them?

[A]

Credit. Okay, here's one I didn't write. And then they go on.

[B]

Well, they don't play any songs they write. Usually it's all other people's music.

[F]

Yeah, the whole thing.

[B]

They don't credit.

[A]

Have you ever done a post ski event?

[F]

Never a ski event. No, just a lot. Oh, many, many, many, many.

[A]

Do you squeeze one of your tunes in? After squeeze?

[F]

I did my own songs, which was kind of the kiss of death.

[B]

Lighthouse.

[F]

I did Lighthouse. I did it. I did it all, baby.

[D]

Yeah. If it's something they don't recognize, I imagine that's tough.

[F]

Yeah, I would do like three sets of that, and then the last set would be Beetle covers and stuff like that.

[A]

Did you get your car keyed a lot?

[F]

No. No, I didn't have a car.

[A]

You don't have a car when you play a tiki bar? You can't remember the bus.

[C]

The bus story.

[B]

I feel sad for those guys that want, you know, tips, because nobody carries cash anymore.

[A]

Now they.

[D]

I've seen some with QR codes.

[B]

Really?

[D]

Yeah, or Venmo codes or whatever.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

I know they have found a way.

[A]

But you do raise a good point,

[B]

because I always try to tip a live musician.

[A]

Always?

[B]

Sure. Kind of my thing.

[F]

But I'm right here.

[D]

Have you ever tipped Pat in this room?

[F]

Nothing.

[D]

He's got two cups.

[C]

Yeah, why not? Why don't you have, like, a fishbowl?

[B]

Yeah, why don't you have a tip jar? If you had a tip jar, maybe I'd do.

[D]

There we go.

[B]

I'll go get some money for you.

[C]

Dear Bob and Tom show. Yes, today's show is one of the many reasons I listen. Thanks for making me laugh, Chad from Oala, Missouri.

[D]

Well, you're welcome, Chad from where?

[C]

Stop around Missouri.

[A]

Oala.

[C]

Just like I said.

[D]

Like if you're yelling for Jimmy o'. Fallon.

[A]

Oh, I thought it was more like.

[C]

Yeah, we need some birthday party games over here. Jimmy, come on.

[A]

I Thought it was Franklin Roosevelt. Where's my dog? Oh, F. What? What?

[C]

Oh, my dog was named F. Didn't you know that?

[D]

Yeah, but. Yes, but that doesn't mean we had

[C]

to follow Roosevelt's laugh uproariously.

[A]

Roosevelt's dog was named Lobster Bisque.

[F]

Easter Bis.

[B]

Easter bisque.

[A]

No such thing as Easter bisque.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

You have a brain injury. I really. There's something going on. Your synapses aren't synapses.

[A]

I got to get some sleep.

[B]

Oh, is that the issue?

[A]

I had to get up extra early today because the dog got your dogs. It was thundering. It was thundering last night, and one of my dogs completely freaks out. And he wouldn't go out to pee or poop last night before I went to bed, so I knew that he had one in the chamber, and I didn't want him. You know what I'm saying?

[C]

Yeah.

[H]

Yeah.

[B]

I didn't want to get home. Hold it.

[A]

Not that long. He can't do a 12 hour.

[B]

Oh, most dogs can.

[A]

Well, I don't want to be the. It was an incident last week. I don't want to have to spend an hour doing that again.

[D]

Oh, no. Nobody.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I know.

[A]

Yeah.

[F]

Got the steamer out.

[A]

Yeah, I did.

[C]

You seen a online viral a Roomba running through dog poo on a white carpet?

[B]

Oh, we've.

[A]

We had the story.

[C]

It's gorgeous.

[A]

And then apparently the new Roombas have a. A.

[B]

They have a pet protector on them now.

[A]

Yeah, supposedly.

[C]

Well. Well, how's it work?

[A]

Were you here the day we had the story about the guy that hacked

[C]

I'm here so little.

[B]

No, he wasn't here that day because we did the same. Oh, my God.

[D]

Yeah, that'll get him back more often.

[A]

Yeah, that helps.

[C]

You know what? I. I missed what he said. Go ahead, Pat. Go.

[A]

Do.

[F]

Do what?

[C]

What? What he said?

[A]

I said this guy. This guy hacked. It wasn't the room. It was an off brand of Roomba,

[D]

Isn't it the Romeo or something?

[A]

And this guy, some guy, he was able to hack into it, and he could see. I didn't realize they have cameras on him. He could see and hear into other people's apartments and houses. Yeah, somehow.

[C]

Time now for our newest feature, an alien visiting Earth. Time now for the alien who just best discovered things here on Earth.

[A]

Did you ever go to Dairy Queen and you get a vanilla cone and then they dip it in chocolate and the chocolate hardens? Those are great.

[C]

This has been the alien who just discovered things.

[D]

It sounded like he was reading from a script. So then that just adds to the alienness.

[F]

Just the gravitas.

[C]

The alienness of it.

[B]

They've had that since the 50s.

[A]

But it's one of. I just.

[F]

Did you ever have a vanilla?

[A]

I hadn't had one in a long time.

[B]

That's really.

[A]

That's so great. And the.

[D]

And the.

[A]

And the chocolate breaks off in chunks.

[H]

Yes.

[D]

Tom, I. I know this is a point of contention in this room, but does Dairy Queen have waffle cones?

[B]

I don't know.

[F]

I don't think so.

[D]

That's a mistake.

[H]

I feel like they do.

[D]

They're alienating half.

[C]

I was going to say. I think they do.

[A]

They do.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Or the waffle.

[D]

I insist on that.

[H]

Yeah.

[A]

I like those sugar cones. Yeah, but see, I. I would say that the. The vanilla cone dipped in chocolate is significantly better than the Twisto thing.

[F]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

I disagree. But I appreciate it. Really.

[C]

It's a swirl.

[D]

I like the taste of the chocolate ice cream better than the taste of the hard shell. Sometimes that hard shell gets.

[A]

So do you. When you get the swirl, do you try to use your tongue deftly? And I know that you are proud of your tongue work? Do you definitely eat the chocolate first and then go back and eat the. What is left of the structure of the vanilla?

[D]

Now that's a skill. You do that.

[A]

You do that in the first date.

[D]

You're right. I get the chocolate helix, we call it.

[A]

Thank you. That's a famous book. Watson and Crick, I believe. Chocolate helix. Chocolate helix.

[D]

Sounds like a movie Jim Brown would

[A]

have starred in the 70s where he plays a scientist. He discovers D DNA.

[B]

By the way, many Dairy Queen locations offer waffle cones and waffle bowls.

[D]

Very glad.

[B]

It depends on the franchisee.

[D]

Okay. So, yeah, I will flip a table at the franchisees that don't have waffle cones.

[C]

They've anticipated this. Those tables are bolted into the floor.

[A]

One I go has curry cones.

[D]

Oh, really?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[D]

I know exactly what part of town.

[B]

I know exactly where that. That one is, too.

[A]

They are wonderful people.

[B]

Wonderful.

[A]

I'm a big fan.

[C]

They are wonderful. He thinks he saved him. He really, really does.

[A]

Now should. Are we gonna. Oh, boy, we're.

[C]

Shut up.

[A]

Do we?

[B]

Here's a story. Lawmakers in Washington state have proposed a bill that would restrict employers from microchipping workers according to kcpq.

[C]

This sounds like this.

[B]

How is this even a thing?

[D]

Orwellian, isn't it?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

House Bill 2303 would ensure that employers are never able to track Workers through subdermal chips or surveil them. The bill explicitly states that businesses, quote, may not request, require, or course, any employee to have a microchip implanted in said employee for any reason.

[A]

Well, Mr. Godwin, I was reviewing yesterday's work hours. It appears you spent 27 minutes at the water cooler.

[F]

Well, we were discussing a bit. I said easter bisque. He says, I don't know. Not funny enough.

[A]

Is anyone. Is this a thing? Is there some business that wanted to apparently subdermal chip you?

[B]

What have we learned? There wouldn't be a law if somebody wasn't trying to do it.

[D]

Was it here in the States, Christy?

[B]

Washington state.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

I'll bet there are certain nerds that would want it done.

[D]

For what reason? What do you think they would?

[A]

Just to be in the cutting edge.

[D]

Oh, I gotcha, man.

[A]

Now, how would you feel if. Now, I'd be fully in favor of this if. Because I hate going to the new doctor. And then you have to spend three hours filling out the same forms you've done 3,000 times. If you could get a microchip that would have your medical records in it. You just walk up, there's a problem.

[B]

I mean, would you be able to change it?

[D]

I think that's where we're headed.

[F]

Yeah, we're headed there.

[H]

It's not on your phone. You can't save that stuff on your phone.

[D]

Yeah, there are particular apps, but not. But not every. The doctor's office is not like.

[C]

It's called my chart, and I check in before I even get there, no matter what.

[D]

Office.

[C]

Yeah. No kidding.

[A]

I had a thing. I spent two hours, one weekend filling out the whole thing. Thing. And I got to the office, and I had to do it over on a crappy clipboard with a pen that was too big and the spaces were too small.

[C]

My God, man. My God.

[D]

They have to get us better.

[B]

That was not a fine point.

[C]

Sounds like a nightmare.

[A]

Am I correct when I say those forms that it'll have put your Social Security number, your mother's maiden name, the zip code of the Pope.

[C]

My God.

[A]

And a sperm sample of your priest. And. And then they give you, like, a little teeny area?

[C]

What?

[A]

That's not even the hardest part.

[C]

No, that's. Yeah, that stuff's everywhere. Right.

[A]

Hey, Pat, you got any weird, weird lobster bisque jokes?

[F]

Easter bisque.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Why are you saying a lobster?

[A]

Because that's the orig. It's. Lobster bisque is the only bisque out there.

[H]

But that's not the joke.

[C]

That's what we were talking.

[B]

There's a seafood bisque. There's all kinds of bisque.

[C]

Yes. There's a chicken bisque, tomato bisque.

[A]

Of course. There's the fast one.

[C]

Let me tell you something. You're climbing out of the hole, buddy.

[A]

There's the fast one. Misoker bisque.

[C]

Quick. Son of a bisque.

[D]

I love Bisquick.

[B]

I do, too. You can do so much with Bisquick.

[C]

You know you can't. Cornbread. It's a pancake. It's a waffle. It's amazing.

[A]

Water. Quick meal. Lobster Bisquick.

[C]

Oh, this is delightful.

[A]

For Lent. Okay, it's off the rails. Time to take a breath.

[D]

I blame Allie Breen.

[C]

Yep.

[D]

If she had called in like she was supposed to, we wouldn't have done any of this.

[C]

We sat here and looked at our watch.

[A]

Have we ever had. Have we ever had Al Jackson sit in with Ali Breen?

[D]

I don't think. No. We sometimes want to hear Ali talk.

[C]

Why would you do that? Why would you do that?

[A]

That give me interesting perspective?

[D]

No, we. We did have them both on the road with us one time.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Around the block.

[A]

Okay, good. Let's see now.

[C]

American finance.

[A]

Yeah, well, I'm gonna get to that in a second. I think we have to save this story about the app for tomorrow because it's. It's gonna be a lengthy discussion, I think.

[C]

What's the app for?

[A]

It involves your wiener banking.

[C]

That's right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Remember there. Having read this, I'll put it this way. There truly is an app for everything at this point. I know that your refrigerator chick has an app and a pass and a password. Right? Now, I do want to talk about American financing, and what I'm talking about here is, well, look at your credit card bill, and if you don't keep paying them, you know what happens? You start building up a lot of interest payments, and that can go over 20%. So pretty soon you're working 50 hours a week just to pay off the interest on your credit cards. Well, if you're a homeowner, you may want to look at this option. The option is doing a refi and using some of the equity in your house to pay off all those credit cards and get rid of that 20% plus, plus interest. American financing. This is one of the things that they would like to help you do. They have mortgage rates in the fives. They're showing homeowners how to use their equity to wipe out that. The high interest debt that you might be on your. All those credit cards. So you give them a call and find out what I'm talking about. 866-88-926 11 that's 866-88926 11. Hard to remember a phone number off the radio. So how about trying this? American Finance, American Financing.net A lot easier to answer that one. American Financing.net Bob and Tom and found out if you could take advantage of this. And by the way, one of the things that they're offering is delaying two mortgage payments. See what I'm talking about? Get all the details. I need to tell you this. NMLS 1823:34 is the official disclaimer and it continues. NMLSConsumeraccess.org for more information. Information. APR for rates in the fives started 6.196% for, well, qualified borrowers. Get the details. See exactly how this translates. Call 866-889-2611. Once again, all the details about credit costs, terms, et cetera, et cetera, all the fine print. Get it all@American financing.net bobandtom Coming up, we will return to the place where we are and we hope you, you are with us. Of course. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[G]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom SHOW this morning. Catch any part of the show you missed later Today on our YouTube channel.

[C]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee.

[B]

Hello.

[C]

Hello, indeed. Hello, Pat Godwin.

[F]

Hey, Chick.

[C]

Hello, Jess Hooker.

[H]

Hello.

[C]

There's Jeff, Josh Arnold.

[F]

Hi.

[C]

There's Ace Cosby. Hello. I'm Chick McGee. And hello. Lobster bisque. How's it going?

[A]

Oh, nice to see you.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Christy Lee is over there at the news desk. Did we ever get to the story about the benefits of bird watching? I know I teased it.

[B]

We did the whole story last week

[A]

because Christie is, I don't know if you know that she is a birder, as they call it.

[B]

I'm a bird killer. I don't know where.

[D]

No, that's not your.

[C]

No, no.

[D]

The only thing you're guilty of is maybe clown cleaning your windows too down too.

[A]

I know, but you've got birds hitting you.

[C]

Have you Are you guys up on the bird watching technology where they have the, the birdhouses with the remote cameras?

[B]

I have that.

[C]

And yeah, you could take pictures of them.

[A]

All sorts of stuff.

[B]

Really nice. The eagle cams until the, until the raccoons steal it. But that's another Story.

[A]

Did you ever find out if there's anything you can do to the windows to keep the birds from.

[B]

No, I should look that up.

[A]

Isn't there something like dangling?

[B]

I'm getting a brand new sliding glass door next week, too. Thanks, champion. And I'm really worried because then it'll e. Even be better.

[A]

More glass.

[D]

What you do is you. When the birds hit the glass and die, you tear off their heads and put them on little pikes. And then that's a warning to the other boys.

[B]

Right? Okay.

[F]

That sends a message.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, is there really. We need to find out.

[H]

You have to soap your windows.

[D]

Well, you have to do that for the neighborhood perverts.

[C]

Anyway.

[B]

That kind of defeats the purpose of having window. There's got to be something you hang like. Oh, I know, like a snake or something.

[A]

Put the curtains of the. The outside.

[B]

I don't have curtains.

[C]

The curtains on the outside?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't have any curtains.

[C]

Dear Bob and Tom Show.

[D]

On the outside.

[A]

You have to make them out of canvas burlappers.

[C]

Dear Bob and Tom Show. I heard Christy talking about feeling sorry for the bird in the restaurant about a week and a half ago.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

I saw her trying to feed a bird inside the terminal at the airport.

[B]

I did. It wouldn't eat Baked Lays. That's all I had.

[D]

You're trying to feed a bird in the terminal? The air.

[B]

Yeah, because it was stuck in the air.

[C]

This is the way we find. Find out about it.

[B]

Well, I wasn't gonna tell you.

[C]

I'm thinking she's attracting the indoor birds. You're the crazy bird lady.

[B]

I felt so bad for this little bird. It was trapped in the. So all I had on me was Baked Lays, but he had no interest in that.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Keep trying to feed him. You'll have more on you than that.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Are you saying the bird would vomit on her?

[A]

No, no. You're getting close.

[D]

Especially if they're the old bake lays with the Illustra.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

No, I. Never mind.

[A]

Well, if anyone knows if there's anything she can do to her windows to keep the birds from flying into them.

[D]

A rubber snake might help.

[B]

Yeah, I've heard that. What about real attractive? When you walk in my house and there's rubber snakes, they have, like, a

[C]

plastic owl with a head.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

Kind of shakes around and stuff. You do that?

[B]

It says you can put window decals like bird silhouettes so birds can see,

[C]

like STP or Tesla.

[A]

Your husband, he wouldn't like that. Firestone and huge letters, 500.

[D]

I had to get rid of my plastic owl that I had.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Because every time I looked at it, I got excited thinking I was being invited to Hogwarts. Turned out it was just a plastic owl.

[A]

Owl you see in Hogwarts, very famous.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

White owl. Hey, hey.

[D]

That's how you would get invited to Hogwarts. The owl would deliver, of course.

[A]

Oh, I. I know. I've even read the books. Hey, we had a story yesterday about owls. Yeah, that was pretty cool. Did you hear this, Ms. Hooker?

[H]

I didn't. I missed it.

[A]

Scientists want to know. They were trying to figure out how owls, they can fly so quietly. So they've done a bunch of this. This sounds like a joke. It's not. They were able to isolate this compound and they are now developing a kind of a. It was a liquid thing, right? Or kind of a Geno gel that. That will help reduce noise. They think they might be able to put it on fences and stuff in the future to cut down on noise

[B]

because they fly so silently and.

[A]

Donna, did you know what you call a. Call a baby owl? It's. No, it's. It's called an owlette.

[H]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Now if you.

[C]

It is.

[A]

It really is.

[C]

And then a moist outlet.

[A]

If it's. Only if it's raining, then it's a moist olet.

[D]

You don't know how badly you just broke his heart.

[B]

I know he wanted to say that so badly.

[C]

I'm sorry.

[A]

Ergo. Ergo timing there apparently is the visual

[B]

bird deterrent device with reflective hanging designs. A set of three I can buy for. Well, let's see how much this is going to set me back. Oh, $17.

[A]

What about a strobe light?

[D]

That way it looks like the owl's coming at you.

[C]

How about a disco ball?

[B]

Oh, there you go.

[F]

Have Joy Behar stand there.

[C]

She'll scare anything. You know what I mean?

[A]

Like a scarecrow, you mean? Okay. Is there a line of Joy Behar scarecrows?

[C]

We better put an end to this Cracker Jack broadcast.

[A]

Okay, this one's in the dumpster. Thanks for joining us. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[G]

Add to or continue the conversation. Check out the Bob and Tom show on Facebook. Get the [e-mail]. this is the Bob and Tom Show, Westwood One Sports Talk.

[F]

Start your day with Drake C. Toll.

[A]

The same guy who had the correct

[G]

top three teams in the preseason.

[A]

Oh, that's me. Is going to give you the correct prediction for the big championship game. For free.

[G]

Van Black and Abdallah.

[H]

What an incredible shot.

[C]

We've got college hoops, spring training and everything happening in the NFL.

[F]

NFL and Westwood 1 Sports Night.

[C]

Not even close to being tired right

[A]

now on Westwood One Sports Night, Westwood One Sports Talk.

[D]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform.