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Tom
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today.
Greg Hahn
Smart Choice.
Tom
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Chick McGee
The best rate for you.
Tom
Give it a try after this episode@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates not.
Chick McGee
Available in all states or situations.
Tom
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Josh Arnold
It'S the Bob and Tom Show.
Chick McGee
Okay, here we go. You can be mean to me mean as you want to be. Just say anything that you like. You can be nasty and catty and cruel and unusual. Twist my nose with your fingers Trip me while I carry liquids. But as you pin me down my arm's down on the ground as you're spit drips into my face. Deep in the back of your mind remember at some point you'll have to fall asleep yeah and when you fall asleep into your room I'll creep. Did something move in the dark neath your bed? And then a voice you hear calling out loud and clear. A voice that is your own at saying There are things that one can do with Bengay, Nair and super glue. A package of indelible dye. Why would a guy such as I ever buy indelible dye?
Greg Hahn
Blue as the sky.
Chick McGee
Don't ask me why. This catalog I found sells roaches by the pound. Millipedes, centipedes too they say the meek shall inherit because they stay up late and change the will. And when you fall asleep into your room I'll creep. Did something move in the dark neath your bed? And then a voice you hear it's calling loud and clear. A voice that is your own. A voice that's saying that's all I have.
Greg Hahn
I love that.
Josh Arnold
Hey, good morning. Hello. The fabulous Haywood Banks. And this is the Bob and Tom Show. And I believe Christy has a case of the whispers today. Hi, Christy. How are you? Yeah, she just said, hi, Pat.
Tom
I was whispering because we were about to go on the air and I didn't know if the mics were.
Chick McGee
Yeah, nothing can go wrong when the mics are on or we don't know it.
Tom
That's true.
Josh Arnold
You know when the mics are on. There's Pat Godwin.
Chick McGee
Hey, Chick.
Josh Arnold
Hello. Josh Arnold.
Christy Lee
Hi there.
Josh Arnold
Greg Han will be our guest today. There's Ace Cosby. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. Hello, Tom.
Christy Lee
Hey.
Josh Arnold
Hello. Hey. Ho. Hi, ho.
Chick McGee
It's great to be here. Christy, you do have your full voice today.
Tom
Yes.
Chick McGee
Okay. Okay.
Josh Arnold
Okay.
Chick McGee
Want to make sure I can whisper today?
Josh Arnold
I'm just checking.
Chick McGee
Today's Ash Wednesday.
Tom
Yes.
Chick McGee
You'll be getting your ashes today.
Tom
Yeah. Noon mass. You want to go?
Chick McGee
I am fully booked.
Tom
Are you?
Chick McGee
Yeah, I'm completely buried today. I've got a sick little girl.
Christy Lee
I'm.
Chick McGee
I have no time.
Josh Arnold
Keep your letters coming to Bob and Tom. Email bob and tomobandtom.com. here's our first letter this morning. I know I'm breaking protocol, but this is too good to pass up considering it's Ash Wednesday. Ash Wednesday.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Josh Arnold
Hello, gang. With it being Ash Wednesday, I started reading into the Pope's recent illness and was surprised to hear that he has the bird flu. Apparently, he caught it from one of the cardinals.
Christy Lee
That can indeed happen. They say, wow.
Chick McGee
Wow.
Tom
The Pope, the best.
Chick McGee
Hope he's doing well. Struggling now to get the ashes. Do you have to sit through the whole service?
Tom
Yes, it's a mass. It's not service, you know, and some.
Christy Lee
Don'T consider it having to sit through.
Chick McGee
It's a sentence.
Tom
Some say it's a celebration of the beginning of Lent.
Josh Arnold
They said on my morning news show today, you know where the morning news. Hi, welcome.
Chick McGee
Good morning. How are you? Josh, you're great.
Josh Arnold
I am, too. We're all great. You can get ashes to go. And they gave a list of churches. That's what they said.
Chick McGee
Drive thru.
Josh Arnold
Ashes to go boom.
Chick McGee
That's great.
Tom
That's.
Josh Arnold
It's so 20, 25.
Chick McGee
Wow.
Josh Arnold
Damn. Right, damn. Get your damn ashes right now.
Tom
That's just.
Josh Arnold
They should pass them out at Starbucks. That would be official.
Tom
Well, but are you getting them just so you can say to other people, look at me, I did get my ashes, or do you really don't know? I think that it's.
Chick McGee
And isn't the rule you're not allowed to wipe them off?
Tom
No, there's no rule about that.
Josh Arnold
There's not.
Tom
I Don't think so.
Chick McGee
But there was people.
Tom
I thought there was people. I know. Yeah, but apparently there is not.
Chick McGee
Some religions, you gotta. You gotta leave them on there all the time.
Tom
I'm Catholic and I swore I thought we had to leave them on all the time.
Chick McGee
But I mean, there's somewhere. Somewhere where they paint a dot on it. You got to wear.
Tom
That's a whole different.
Chick McGee
Different thing. A different religion, different God. Very complicated. Hey, sorry, I didn't invent this stuff.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
What are those guys with dots sound like when they're praying? Tom?
Chick McGee
I don't know.
Josh Arnold
Okay, good answer.
Chick McGee
I get confused. I remember the guys at the airport. Remember the. When the Hari Krishnas were at the airport all the time.
Christy Lee
I never saw that, but I'm familiar with it through airplane.
Josh Arnold
That was.
Chick McGee
But that was very real. Yeah. And I don't know exactly why they were always at airports and why they let them in.
Josh Arnold
And I don't know where they went because I've. I've flown a lot and I've never seen them ever.
Christy Lee
Yeah, I wonder where.
Chick McGee
I don't know if. I don't know if there was legislation disallowing them to be there.
Tom
Of course. I mean, maybe they lost their freedom when we had. You remember you used to be able to go to the gate with your.
Chick McGee
Friends, but they were always there in the lobby and. Yeah, but they had that like mud dripping thing between the eyeballs.
Tom
Well, what.
Christy Lee
I think they called it that.
Chick McGee
Well, that's, that's what it looked like.
Tom
I, I don't remember that.
Chick McGee
And they were playing some kind of exotic bongo. The shaved heads, that was a good look.
Josh Arnold
I think you're getting movies confused with real life again.
Chick McGee
They used to be there at the airport.
Josh Arnold
I know, but then they're playing some weird bongos.
Christy Lee
I remember David Leisure was one of them.
Josh Arnold
Yes.
Christy Lee
In the airplane.
Chick McGee
And then he became famous for Joe Hisuzu. Sure.
Christy Lee
And he was the promiscuous neighbor in Empty Nest.
Chick McGee
Wow.
Josh Arnold
I am not familiar with empty.
Christy Lee
The Richard Mulligan vehicle on NBC.
Chick McGee
In any event, today is Ash Wednesday. We have a couple of tributes coming.
Josh Arnold
Up, so be careful. If you go to a Catholic church, you might get the bird flu from a cardinal.
Chick McGee
We have tributes to ashes.
Tom
We do, yeah, we do.
Chick McGee
Yeah, absolutely.
Tom
All right.
Josh Arnold
And by the way, we're in day two of Pat not being able to play his organization. Day two, still learning.
Christy Lee
Man's a busy man.
Chick McGee
I wouldn't want to prioritize the place. You make all your money. Well, I I. I recorded five songs over the shack. It does. That does me no good.
Josh Arnold
You told me it was four, which is.
Greg Hahn
It's five.
Josh Arnold
It's five.
Chick McGee
Wait a minute. It was four. So. So, Christy, let's get back to your day then. So you got a Kill an hour at the church.
Tom
Kill an hour? Well, it usually does take about an hour for mass, but I don't look at it that way.
Chick McGee
Is there still. Is there a lot of standing up and sitting down and kneeling and that is really taxing. They have any cool music at least Sometimes.
Tom
It depends on the church.
Chick McGee
Acoustic guitar.
Tom
They do have folk mass, so.
Chick McGee
Combining the joylessness and righteousness of folk.
Tom
Music, they have drums.
Josh Arnold
Twisted Jesus rolled the boat ashore. Hallelujah. Why don't you walk across the lake?
Christy Lee
I don't know if those are the actual names.
Chick McGee
The girls camp is over there. They are braless. Let's have a panty. Oh, sorry.
Josh Arnold
Touch there. Touch that. Good, good.
Christy Lee
Some songs shouldn't be parodied. We're learning.
Chick McGee
Remember, remember the worst song we've ever paired? Do you think it's the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald?
Christy Lee
No, I think it's that one.
Josh Arnold
Remember, put your hand in the hand. That was a big hit.
Chick McGee
Oh, yeah, I know. We did a parody of that. Yeah, but we did. We didn't parry. We never did a parody of the saddest song of all time, Tears in Heaven.
Tom
Oh, God.
Chick McGee
Fortunately. Yeah. I think even. Even on this show we have, well, something resembling a high bar.
Josh Arnold
There goes this break.
Christy Lee
And there goes my song. I was gonna do this morning, Beers with Kevin.
Josh Arnold
You remember Put your hand in the hand.
Chick McGee
Oh, yeah, sure.
Josh Arnold
You remember who did it?
Chick McGee
That was a legitimate top 40 hit.
Josh Arnold
Absolutely.
Chick McGee
Give me a. Give me. Give me five answers and I'll pick the right one. Something singers.
Josh Arnold
It starts with O. The groups. The group starts with O.
Chick McGee
Not the Osmonds.
Josh Arnold
No, I don't. I'm pretty sure they never had another hit.
Chick McGee
Okay, I give up.
Josh Arnold
Ocean. Oh, I never would have got Billy Ocean in that. No, no, it's not Billy Ocean. You know, there are more than. There's Pacific Ocean, Atlantic, the many oceans.
Christy Lee
I wish there was a Billy Ocean out there. I am going to be sailing the Billy Ocean.
Chick McGee
We can change the name of it. Hell, we changed the name of the Gulf. Why don't you go? I think Pacific sounds like some kind of peace, Nick.
Christy Lee
I like that. You should have called it the Billy Ocean.
Josh Arnold
The Billy American Post. Mexico.
Chick McGee
Name it after somebody. Coming up, we have a lot of interesting things going on out there and.
Josh Arnold
How about ocean put your hand in the hand and not this awful song. How about. How about.
Christy Lee
I like this song.
Josh Arnold
How about this on Ash Wednesday.
Chick McGee
Okay. Okay. Sorry. We have our Ash Wednesday song coming up. You, Christy.
Tom
Thank you.
Chick McGee
Also other various other delights that we.
Josh Arnold
Remembering the Ash Wednesday.
Chick McGee
I do too sprinkle about. I did a hand in hand parody two weeks ago.
Tom
You did?
Greg Hahn
Yeah, that shark incident.
Chick McGee
Remember the woman got her.
Christy Lee
Yes.
Tom
Oh, that's right. You did.
Chick McGee
Weeks ago. How timely. I was gone that day. I know.
Tom
You need to play it now.
Chick McGee
That's why I got away. You can play it with it for me. I want to hear it right now and I want to hear the story. But right now I want to remind you that the best way to listen to this show is with those Raycon earbuds.
Josh Arnold
That's right. Raycons Everyday earbuds. Do you feel it? You smell it? It's madness. That's right. It's March and there's a lot of noise right now. And that's where Raycons Everyday earbuds come in. Just. Just take a quick break and listen to really good music or whatever music you like. Raycons have active noise cancellation that drown out the most maddening of sounds. Their latest model Raycons also has a 32 hour battery life and multipoint connectivity lets you pair with two devices at once. And Raycon's quick charge function. 10 minutes of charging, 90 minutes of battery. I have no idea how it does it. Plus Raycon start at just half the price of other premium audio brands with similar features. Raycon's Everyday earbuds also come in a spectrum of vibrant colors. And if you don't love them, they have a 30 day happiness guarantee return policy. Go to buyraycon.com tom and get 20% off the best selling Everyday Earbuds. The official earbuds of the Bob and Tom show. That's Raycon's Everyday earbuds. Go to buyraycon.com Tom got a bill.
Chick McGee
Belichick update regarding Hard Knocks. We have the splits in the news. You do the splits, Christy.
Tom
I have been. I. Maybe if I practice a minute.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Josh Arnold
I'd like to see Pat do the.
Chick McGee
Splits because I think I did one yesterday. Almost.
Josh Arnold
I would result in a painful groin injury.
Chick McGee
Of all things. We have the splits in the news along with Willie. Mammoths in the news.
Josh Arnold
You mean woolly mammoths.
Chick McGee
What did I say? Willie. Woolly mammoths. I was thinking of. I was thinking of that.
Josh Arnold
Your son Willie.
Chick McGee
No, it's got that thing with the. The metal shavings. Oh, yeah. Woolly Wally.
Christy Lee
Really?
Tom
We have one of those of you, actually.
Chick McGee
Okay. Yeah. That's all on the way. I'm very excited about it and I will report the following. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. And of course, this is the Bob and Tom Show.
Christy Lee
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash?
Chick McGee
Progressive makes it easy. Just drop in some details about yourself.
Christy Lee
And see if you're eligible to save money. When you bundle your home and auto.
Chick McGee
Policies, the process only takes minutes and it could mean hundreds more in your pocket. Visit progressive.com after this episode to see if you could save Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates.
Christy Lee
Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.
Josh Arnold
Welcome to the Bob and Tom Show. Hello, hello, hello.
Chick McGee
I look around the room and I see we have a lot of things going on over there.
Josh Arnold
What do you got?
Chick McGee
We got Chip McGee at the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. That's right. It's the orange insole season. A lot of basketball coming up.
Josh Arnold
Don't forget, they're orange.
Chick McGee
That's right. Oh, we have Christy Lee at the SILAC Insurance news desk.
Tom
Yes, sir.
Chick McGee
Huh.
Tom
Well, thank you, Chick.
Josh Arnold
You're welcome.
Chick McGee
And here in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, we have Pat Godwin with his organ. He hasn't learned how to use you.
Josh Arnold
Nope, not yet.
Chick McGee
Got the new organ in this room. The big room.
Josh Arnold
Day two.
Tom
What you do all day yesterday, it's your job.
Chick McGee
Four songs over the Shack.
Greg Hahn
Our recording studio.
Tom
Oh, that's right. I saw the picture.
Chick McGee
Okay, now let's move forward here.
Christy Lee
Josh Arnold is here, too.
Chick McGee
I. Where? Right here. Oh, sorry. I. Without the beard. I just.
Christy Lee
Yeah, I know, I know.
Chick McGee
That's very confused.
Christy Lee
I wasn't hurt. I just.
Chick McGee
That's why I thought it was our new guy.
Josh Arnold
Austin.
Chick McGee
It's. It's. You okay.
Christy Lee
Yeah, man. Boy, that Austin.
Josh Arnold
No, no, that's not his name.
Tom
What's his name?
Josh Arnold
It's not Oscar.
Greg Hahn
That's his new nickname.
Tom
Oh, not Oscar.
Chick McGee
Oh, I see. Okay. Very good. Rather inside.
Christy Lee
Imagine Austin and Jeff now. Either of them like that.
Chick McGee
We have several things we have to get to here, including a lot of mail. But it is Ash Wednesday.
Tom
Yeah, Fasting day today for Catholics.
Chick McGee
Oh, really?
Tom
Oh, yeah. No meat. And you only can have one meal.
Chick McGee
That's not fasting.
Josh Arnold
That sounds adjustable.
Chick McGee
The whole day.
Tom
You could go the whole day and. But you can have one meal See.
Chick McGee
That is to fasting. What God want is to veganism.
Tom
Well, it's one light meal if you want to get.
Chick McGee
The other day Pat goes, well, I'm a vegan. Although I did have salmon the other night. I told the whole room I'm on a Mediterranean diet now.
Greg Hahn
Yeah, it's a good move. The vegan thing didn't work.
Chick McGee
Josh and I talked. Josh, please eat some salmon. Didn't you say that?
Christy Lee
I did, yeah. I said, you know what? I bet your body would love some salmon.
Tom
And did it.
Chick McGee
Look at me. They're not calling it the. The what did you call it? What diet would.
Josh Arnold
Mediterranean.
Chick McGee
No, no, it's the American diet. We're renaming all of them now. We have. Is that a Gulf of America?
Christy Lee
I feel like something.
Chick McGee
Thank you.
Christy Lee
Might be stuck in Tom's crime.
Tom
I think so too. Do you watch tv?
Josh Arnold
We're now all of my globes are wrong.
Chick McGee
Let's just rename everything we have. We have a story you were going to do for me about sharks. I did not.
Tom
Oh yeah.
Chick McGee
I was not here for this.
Tom
A woman's hand was bitten off by. Actually were bitten off they of them by a shark in the Caribbean after she tried to take a picture of it off. The woman, believed to be a Canadian national, was vacationing in Turks Caicos when she spotted the six foot long predator just a few yards from shore. The 55 year old waded into the water Tom and attempted to engage with the shark and take a picture of it when it bit her hand off. Witnesses rushed to the woman's aid and her husband fended off the shark as it circled around and bit her again.
Christy Lee
They're like lay's potato chips, you know, you can't have.
Tom
One hand had to be amputated at the wrist, the other midway down her forearm.
Chick McGee
That's awful. I have a question. So she. Did you say she was trying to take a picture of the shark?
Tom
Yes.
Chick McGee
Did the shark swallow the phone?
Tom
I don't know. What happened to the phone? It doesn't say. Probably a good chance she dropped it.
Chick McGee
I mean, if the shark bit her hand off the. The phone was in her hand. Wow.
Josh Arnold
I gotta hang up right now. The shark's biting me. I'll talk to you later.
Christy Lee
Look, I'm gonna have to call you back, all right?
Josh Arnold
Yes, yes. I love you too. Jesus.
Chick McGee
This is why you have a selfie stick now, Pat, you have a song about this.
Greg Hahn
Never put your hand near a shark.
Chick McGee
And try to take a selfie selfie.
Greg Hahn
Stay in the sand on Land the.
Chick McGee
Sharks roll in the sea.
Greg Hahn
Take a picture of yourself from a distance and behave responsibly. Now you got no hands and you.
Chick McGee
Can'T hold your phone for any more selfies. Here you go.
Christy Lee
The shark ate her hand and her hand. Now she's handless and she can't pick up things.
Greg Hahn
Can't pick up things with her hands. Cause of that damn shark.
Chick McGee
Was she a young lady, I thought? 55? Yeah.
Tom
From Canada. Yeah.
Chick McGee
She probably wouldn't have been able to find the photo on her phone anyway.
Josh Arnold
Well, you have no trouble, so she would have had no trouble.
Chick McGee
You'd be surprised. With that new program, it's very hard to find anything.
Tom
Yeah, sea creatures, don't. Don't get near them.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom
Well, from my vacation recently, the dolphins were out. You know how dolphins are. They're playing, they're having fun. And my girlfriend goes, oh, look, there must be a big school of fish over there. Those dolphins are really going at it. I go, that isn't fish. They had. They had circled a female, if you know what I mean. Oh, yeah. Dolphins tend to horny. Yeah. And it's mating season, and they were going at it.
Josh Arnold
Did you say you had a girlfriend with you on vacation?
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Did you record any of that?
Tom
No. Would you like me to?
Chick McGee
My chick and I both need a new car alarm.
Tom
Yeah.
Christy Lee
Dolphins are. I think it's dolphins and humans, the only two things that derive pleasure from sex.
Chick McGee
Not.
Christy Lee
They don't just do it.
Josh Arnold
I thought it was.
Chick McGee
Wait a minute.
Tom
Especially.
Chick McGee
How do they know that?
Christy Lee
I don't know, but they do.
Chick McGee
They? Who are they?
Josh Arnold
They asked the boy doctor, how was it? And he puts a fin up.
Chick McGee
Muskrats. Muskrats also enjoy.
Christy Lee
Oh, they really do.
Tom
Oh, of course.
Chick McGee
Physical love. Muskrat love. Yeah, You've heard of that, right?
Christy Lee
Yes. I didn't realize it had to do with sex. I thought it was just sort of a crush.
Chick McGee
Oh, it's sex.
Christy Lee
Oh, wow.
Josh Arnold
It's very meaningful.
Chick McGee
Do you like sex but love it. Now, we have another oddball request here, Pat, since you've got your. Oh, this may be a keyboard thing. I'm sorry. I'm ready to go either way. You know me. We had a story yesterday that referenced this whole thing about labia puffing. The surgical procedures that some women are doing.
Tom
Yeah.
Chick McGee
They inject, quote, dermal fillers, like hyaluronic acid to restore volume to the labia majora.
Josh Arnold
Oh.
Chick McGee
Now, the labia minora, of course, is only used in Hanukkah, but Right now we have a tribute.
Josh Arnold
Doesn't Labia Majora sound like something that's just east of the Lesser Antilles or something? Yes, it's just really out there somewhere.
Chick McGee
By the way, maybe you always hear about the Lesser Antilles. What about the Greater Intellis?
Josh Arnold
That's right.
Chick McGee
They never get any. You never hear about them in the news.
Josh Arnold
Always lesser.
Chick McGee
But this, all this request here involves the famous story about Josh Brolin sunning his taint area. There was a fad in Hollywood which is of course Hollywood and the source of all good things in the medical world. As you know, they were suggesting that people get out in the sun naked and spread their legs toward the sun and actually sun the taint area, if you will. The area between the upper thighs. What was the vitamin that you're supposed to get from that? Vitamin D. Vitamin D. Okay, great. And a lot of vitamins in the news and other things and other areas. But right now this involves the taint area. Is that correct?
Christy Lee
Yes.
Chick McGee
I mean I can't. I'm trying to stall to see if you're ready. Are you? I've been ready though. Okay, okay.
Christy Lee
You've just been rambling.
Chick McGee
I can never tell. Nothing could be finer there's some sun on your vagina in the morning.
Christy Lee
Nothing.
Chick McGee
Could be sweeter than the Tanner do you Peter? Morning. Well, the sun don't normally shine between the behold and the naughty.
Greg Hahn
Get some.
Chick McGee
Rays on that behind Mario trendy hot ass. Oh man, you got to see them.
Christy Lee
In the morning.
Chick McGee
Legs up in the.
Greg Hahn
Air with no panties on down there makes me.
Christy Lee
Ladies 10 your taints if.
Chick McGee
Only for the day that big vitamin D energy is coming your way Nothing.
Greg Hahn
Could be finer than some sun in your vagina in the morning.
Chick McGee
Oh God. If only for a day. Come on, just give it a shot. I remember when this came out and of course was it Gwyneth Paltrow that came out with the tanning solution copper.
Christy Lee
Taint may have been.
Chick McGee
Yeah, she seems.
Tom
And they had right up her alley.
Chick McGee
And they had the. You know the. The billboard with an 18 year old. I can't believe you said that. Those words were just about to not come out of my mouth. We're not making this up though, by the way.
Josh Arnold
How many more years do I have? I won't. I'll stop laughing at the word, Peter. Why?
Christy Lee
It is a silly one.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, that's a silly word for that.
Chick McGee
What was the one we Yesterday we came up with a couple new ones, Peter.
Christy Lee
Well, Oscar introduced us to.
Josh Arnold
Oh yeah, what was that?
Christy Lee
Neck.
Tom
Oh yeah.
Christy Lee
Penis. Neck.
Tom
No, it was.
Christy Lee
He said it. I don't remember.
Tom
Say, what did he say?
Christy Lee
Well, he taught us about the neck of it. And then he also said he can.
Josh Arnold
Over or something just lower than the waist.
Christy Lee
He had a couple of them. Oh.
Chick McGee
If it ever has an Adam's apple, you might want to see a doctor.
Christy Lee
It might be a man.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Let's see now. It's called perineum sunning. And what I love about this is as soon as you read the source of this, how this all started, you go, no, I'm out. It was started by Metaphysical Megan.
Christy Lee
Oh, I like her. She does a lot of good.
Josh Arnold
You mean Megan?
Chick McGee
It's spelled Megan. M E E M E A G.
Josh Arnold
A N. That's Megan.
Tom
Megan.
Chick McGee
That's Megan.
Tom
That's Megan.
Chick McGee
It's not Reagan?
Greg Hahn
No.
Chick McGee
Like Brian Reagan.
Josh Arnold
You mean like President Reagan?
Chick McGee
Oh, so it could go either way.
Josh Arnold
Oh, my God.
Chick McGee
Just admit you're wrong.
Josh Arnold
We all know that. It's pronounced the way you say it's pronounced.
Chick McGee
No, no. They could learn that. No, it could be. The larger point is her first name is Metaphysical.
Christy Lee
Well, it's her title.
Josh Arnold
Hey, she's studied hard. She's out there doing good work.
Christy Lee
The proper respect.
Chick McGee
Yes, there's a Metaphysical Megan there.
Josh Arnold
Thank you.
Chick McGee
I have a cancer. I'm hoping she can cure it for me. Oh, well, take off your pants and shove your ass in the sun. That'll help. Oh, good. Thank you.
Christy Lee
You do that after you write the check.
Chick McGee
By the way, according to Yahoo. Lifestyle, the practice is being discouraged by physicians. Oh, you mean people that are actually trained? Dr. Jeremy Fenton said there is some evidence to suggest that the genitals may be more susceptible to skin cancer than other areas of the body.
Christy Lee
So.
Tom
Cut it out.
Christy Lee
Sorry, he's not properly trained in metaphysical.
Chick McGee
Oh, yeah.
Tom
Oh, there you go.
Josh Arnold
That's a whole. Another branch.
Chick McGee
He can't cross his legs and float while looking at the ocean.
Christy Lee
You know, if you can cross your legs and float, I may listen to you.
Josh Arnold
Let me get a good look.
Christy Lee
I'll at least hear you. Hear you out.
Chick McGee
This is true, and you're not going to believe it.
Josh Arnold
I don't believe it.
Chick McGee
I knew two guys, well educated. Two guys, two gentlemen friends. This is. They were. They went to high school with me and they were both convinced and they went on a pilgrimage to India. This is completely true. Yeah, they went on a pilgrimage to India because they actually believed that you could levitate.
Christy Lee
Okay.
Chick McGee
And I'm not kidding. And they went. They went to some. Whatever you Call it swami or, you know, some joker and.
Christy Lee
Oh, boy.
Chick McGee
The process involved, essentially.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. Swami is Hindu for joker. That game show over there. Swami, Swami. Swami.
Chick McGee
It was some cloud. Anyway, they ended up. The procedure was you'd. You'd cross your legs and kind of jump up off the ground, and they. That was the. The road to levitation.
Christy Lee
Well, I think there's a lot of mental things to him, too.
Chick McGee
They kept. They kept landing.
Christy Lee
Well, sure.
Chick McGee
Rather quickly.
Christy Lee
Trying to attain enlightenment, I think, is near impossible.
Tom
Gonna take a while. And then you don't just go for a seminar or.
Chick McGee
They spent enough time over there to get dysentery. Then they came back. In any event, so much for contemporary medicine in the news. We have another request from Italy for you, Pat. So keep that guitar handy. I'm gonna let you take a little breather.
Josh Arnold
Hello, Italy.
Chick McGee
Is it a guitar song or is.
Josh Arnold
It an organ song?
Chick McGee
It's a guitar song.
Christy Lee
Jeez.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Don't you have anything you can play on that piano that'd be fun today?
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Okay. Well, we'll get to it. Coming up. Now, today is Ash Wednesday.
Christy Lee
That piano being put in here might be the worst thing that's ever happened in the world.
Josh Arnold
A lot of things.
Christy Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Josh Arnold
I've been bad, but.
Christy Lee
Oh, Pat, I'm not criticizing you. This whole thing has been a nightmare, and you know it.
Chick McGee
That's all my fault. I haven't learned as far as, you.
Josh Arnold
Know, I could have a keyboard over here.
Chick McGee
Let's move forward. Here we have this classic from Tim Cavanaugh in honor of Ash Wednesday. I love this song. Oh, God.
Christy Lee
Frankenstein, Dracula and their friend Lurch decided one day to go to church. They found intriguing the things they'd hear. The phrase body and blood had really caught their ear. The blazing candles made Frankie nervous. The crucifix distracted Drac from the service. On top of that, they didn't realize it was Ash Wednesday. And to their surprise, they got the ash. They got the monster ash.
Tom
The monster ash.
Christy Lee
They gave them out at mash.
Chick McGee
The monster Ash.
Christy Lee
Right after Marty grasped Esquire U. S. They caught the monster ash. It turned out to be a miraculous day. The three all repented and changed their ways. Dracula gave up sucking for Lent.
Chick McGee
The Cleveland Browns did it.
Christy Lee
That would be an event. They got them on mustache. They wore them with panache.
Chick McGee
The mustache.
Josh Arnold
The church went back and asked for a mustache.
Tom
They got the ass.
Christy Lee
They got them on muster Ash. Drat. You've got something on your forehead. Let me get it. No, it's a smudge. In the mirror. No, you can't look in the mirror.
Chick McGee
Mike T. And Tim Kavanaugh and the classic the monster Ash in honor of Ash Wednesday. And Christy Lee will be getting her ashes later today.
Tom
I was during the break reading about ashes to Go. A lot of churches are doing this boom. Methodist Episcopal, a lot of them.
Chick McGee
I'm so you don't. In other words, you don't have to attend an actual service.
Tom
You just pull up, drive through and the.
Chick McGee
It really is a drive through. I was kidding.
Tom
No, it's actually a news story about.
Christy Lee
That a couple years ago.
Tom
Yeah, no, it's. That's what they're doing. Yeah.
Chick McGee
Do they have a drive thru window at the church?
Tom
No, you're standing. This gentleman standing outside. They don't have a drive thru window at the church I go to.
Chick McGee
That would be hilarious.
Christy Lee
It's one of those things that started during COVID and then they went.
Josh Arnold
Oh yeah.
Christy Lee
People actually kind of liked this, right?
Chick McGee
Is there.
Josh Arnold
It's like my therapist. I. I'm still on zoom stuff that happens.
Chick McGee
Is there a. A bucket for donations?
Tom
I don't see a bucket here. I don't know.
Chick McGee
They're doing it wrong. You gotta monetize this. I'd have a second priest standing there with, you know, hey, a little something for the effort.
Christy Lee
Tom, you know, you're so misguided. The Catholic church has nothing to do with money. I'm sorry. I couldn't even get it out.
Chick McGee
No, every church, I mean, they gotta. They gotta pay their bills now. Let's say Christianity critical here, Tom.
Josh Arnold
And I get the spirit later this morning. Can we just. Just go into a Catholic church and get ashes? Sure we can.
Greg Hahn
They can hear that.
Josh Arnold
Tom, are you sure we should go get ashes?
Tom
Yeah, you could, you can.
Christy Lee
I don't recommend.
Tom
You can't have communion.
Christy Lee
You clowns walking up and is it unceremoniously.
Josh Arnold
Did the party horn give my clowness away?
Chick McGee
The big shoes.
Christy Lee
I could just see. Hey, Rabbi, ash me up.
Josh Arnold
Let's go. I got an appointment.
Greg Hahn
Tell him your cardinal joke.
Josh Arnold
I heard you have the bird fluid. You catch up with my cardinal. But seriously, seriously, I hope he's fine.
Chick McGee
Now ash me right now.
Tom
It's a pigeon.
Chick McGee
Let's check in with Chick McGee over there and find out about.
Josh Arnold
Simply say do it yourself. Home security system we trust. Simply safe here at the Bob and Tom studios. There are cameras out there in the hallway just to keep an eye on Pat. You never know what he's up to out there on the hallway.
Chick McGee
I'm not practicing, obviously.
Josh Arnold
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Chick McGee
Thank you very much, Chick Magee. I'm so excited. We've got a couple of great letters here. Wait till you meet. Wait till you meet Lep.
Tom
Lep.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Oh, I'm so excited to tell you about Lep. I'll remind you of a couple quick things. We're going to be on the road. Major league opening day, Cincinnati Reds. Thursday, March 27th. We're going to be at Smoke justice. So restaurant in Covington will be there from 6 to 10. Brought to you by Field of Dreams Whiskey. Hope you can stop by and say hi. We're gonna have some special T shirts, a little benefit project like we did in Iowa for the Children's Hospital in Cincinnati. Then minor league opening day with the Toledo mud hens. Friday, March 28th. We're gonna be at the Glass City center in downtown Toledo. Brought to you by Field of Dreams Whiskey.
Tom
Also nice.
Chick McGee
Got a couple of other fun things we're doing. Excited about that? Good morning ahead. I'm really, really happy about this and I'm so excited you're gonna. When we come back, you're gonna go. I'm excited too.
Tom
Okay, we're gonna, we're gonna.
Chick McGee
I will take that bet if you are. If you do not like this. Wait a minute. I will give you $5.
Josh Arnold
All right.
Chick McGee
Ready?
Josh Arnold
Okay.
Chick McGee
And then Ace will give you 10. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show. For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom show contest rules, go to.
Josh Arnold
Bobandom.
Chick McGee
Or just scroll down to the.
Greg Hahn
Bottom of the page and see contest rules.
Chick McGee
This is the Bob and Tom show.
Greg Hahn
Get in the zone.
Josh Arnold
AutoZone.
Christy Lee
Welcome to the A to Z Savings Event at AutoZone.
Greg Hahn
What are you working on today?
Chick McGee
Yeah, I need to change my oil.
Tom
I want to get a full synthetic oil.
Christy Lee
How about Pennzoil Platinum? It's the only oil made from natural gas.
Tom
Sounds great.
Chick McGee
How much for an oil filter?
Christy Lee
Oh, that's free.
Tom
What?
Christy Lee
The filter is free with the oil.
Chick McGee
Free.
Christy Lee
Really, really free. It's just part of our A to free. I mean, A to Z savings event at AutoZone. Get in the zone.
Greg Hahn
AutoZone restrictions apply.
Chick McGee
It's.
Josh Arnold
Hey, welcome back to the Bomb at Top show. At the Silac Insurance news desk, it's Christy Lee.
Tom
Hi.
Josh Arnold
Pat Godwin and his guitar. There's Josh Arnold. Hi, there's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick Magee over here at the Orange Insole sports desk. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Hello, Tom.
Chick McGee
Hello, Chick. Yesterday was about this time, I think a new segment that I'm doing called Belaboring the obvious.
Christy Lee
Okay.
Chick McGee
I was talking about with my dogs. My little guy, my puppy, he is a real tail wagger.
Christy Lee
Oh, you just love that.
Chick McGee
You go, good boy, good boy. And he's wagging his tail and he's so happy. My older dog, my 3 year old.
Josh Arnold
Sounds like a kiss ass.
Chick McGee
Really can't be bothered. You walk up and go, you're such a good boy. And he looks, I know, doesn't really wag his tail much.
Josh Arnold
Like, I don't know, I'm a good boy.
Chick McGee
Just. Yeah, yeah, there's that guy. But we got this great letter from Matthew. He writes, this is a picture of my deaf Australian shepherd dog.
Christy Lee
Okay.
Chick McGee
His name is Lep, short for Leper, Deaf leopard. He's a year old. If you want to tell him he's a good boy, you have to give him jazz hands. Good boy. He watches you guys on YouTube with me every morning. There he is.
Christy Lee
We gotta give him the jazz hands.
Chick McGee
Look at that blue eyed gorgeous dog. What are you doing, you little nut? You gotta post that phone. Well, thank you for taking the time to write, Matthew. What a great dog.
Christy Lee
Yeah, very sweet.
Chick McGee
Oh, jazz hands. I'll have to try that with my guys. See if they, if they like.
Josh Arnold
Maybe one of your dogs is deaf. Maybe he just doesn't hear you.
Tom
Yeah, maybe.
Chick McGee
No, no, no.
Josh Arnold
Have you tested him for here? No, he can hear you the fair.
Chick McGee
And test him for, you know, he can hear, he does the sit, all that stuff.
Christy Lee
Very nice.
Chick McGee
And then I told you, my little girl, my nine year old is using her laptop. She holds it up and watches how to train her dog. We're actually going to dog training.
Josh Arnold
Well, how else would you do it?
Chick McGee
It was just hilarious because she's holding the thing in her one hand and then she's got the treats in her other and, you know. Yeah. Screaming at the dog, sit. We're. We're going to go to these classes where you have other dogs.
Josh Arnold
I wonder where she's seen that, seen that kind of training.
Christy Lee
Oh, that'll be good. Because the do dog will socialize and things.
Chick McGee
I've done it before. It's great.
Christy Lee
That is fun.
Chick McGee
I know. Patty G's taking his dog to class Saturday. Yeah.
Christy Lee
All right.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Those are a blast.
Tom
They are. The puppies love to play with. They like getting together and playing and romping around.
Chick McGee
But it's also. It's like other things when you have kids and you go to school and you look at the artwork and you go, God, who's this kid? My kid's so much better than this kid. Same thing with dog school. You go. And you go, boy, that dog is a loser. Oh, my.
Josh Arnold
Really?
Christy Lee
That's a. I mean, we just learned a lot about Tom.
Greg Hahn
What?
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Christy Lee
We always come on how you judge children.
Chick McGee
Oh, yeah. Christy, come on. You never walked and looked at the artwork and went, yikes.
Christy Lee
No, see, I like that.
Chick McGee
Somebody needs to be held back a year. No, that's fun art. I like that, too.
Christy Lee
I'm with the weirder, the better.
Chick McGee
Crazier.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
I always thought that when he plays his favorite game. Look at this guy. He added loser to the end of it.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
And now we know for sure.
Chick McGee
You ever travel with him all day?
Josh Arnold
It's as little as possible.
Chick McGee
Have you. Have you been out there? Yes. Have you been out in the world? Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Are you familiar with the phrase no judgment? Are you familiar with that?
Chick McGee
No, I'm not. Why do that?
Christy Lee
I love weirdos.
Tom
Oh, sure.
Chick McGee
I love weird art, too. I love. I'd rather have kids art than anything else.
Christy Lee
Yeah, I'm with you, man.
Chick McGee
But I'm just saying, there is that kind of thing. All parents are doing that in their head, and they are. You go to some event where the kids are all singing and you go, please don't be the worst one. Please don't be the worst. Please don't be the worst one. Didn't you have a weird guy?
Tom
Are you kidding me?
Christy Lee
No.
Chick McGee
Didn't you have a weird guy in a parking Lot when you were traveling that followed you.
Christy Lee
I'm trying to think because there are a couple stories here and I'm. Is there anything more specific you can tell me?
Chick McGee
No.
Greg Hahn
Which one you want?
Chick McGee
He was very friendly and wanted to do something for you when you were traveling.
Christy Lee
Oh, I don't remember this. Oh, I'm sorry.
Chick McGee
Sorry I brought it up. No, no, I'm the idiot.
Christy Lee
No, can you.
Josh Arnold
Hey, there's more letters. I got a letter.
Chick McGee
Okay, go for it.
Josh Arnold
Here's our new letter music. What do you think? Letters, letters, letters.
Chick McGee
You can't use anyone else's music.
Josh Arnold
This is my. This is my music. I made this this morning. Meet George and Gracie. I think we're gonna have that picture. There they are. Six month old lab mixes. Brother and sister.
Christy Lee
They're cute.
Josh Arnold
I should have named a Bonnie and Clyde because they're bad. Gracie is the brains of the outfit. George is the muscle, but dumb as a box of rocks. I was playing with them in the yard and I could tell there was something wrong with George. Not the same goofy look and Josh like awkwardness.
Christy Lee
Oh, I could be a little awkward, I guess. Sure.
Josh Arnold
Yes. Like he was coming off a three day bender. It says here he then bowed up and started to hack. Like. Like he was chain smoking and threw up dish rag from the kitchen sink.
Tom
Oh, lucky he did that.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, and he just got back two days ago from his. His neutering.
Chick McGee
Oh, yikes.
Christy Lee
Well, that should help with some of the. So he's hyperness, right?
Josh Arnold
He's been sleeping, I would think.
Chick McGee
Now not this one. I wish Oscar were here because he is the marijuana indulger, if you will. We had a story yesterday, was it out of Minnesota about.
Tom
Yeah, bong water is not going to be illegal.
Chick McGee
Yeah, I guess some woman had been pulled over and she had. What was it?
Tom
8 ounces of Bong water. Now first of all, it's gonna be a felony.
Chick McGee
Not a judge. But if you've got 8 ounces of bong water and a bong in your car, to me, probable cause. I. I don't think it should be illegal. But I mean, let's. Come on. Who are you kidding? Have this suggestion for you marijuana smokers. Oh, Replace bong water with chilled watermelon wine cooler. You had another addiction. Have a great day. Thank you. For many years and miles, we've all traveled together. Well, Joe, I appreciate that. I'm not a bong user.
Josh Arnold
What?
Chick McGee
And then I was talking to Osu off the air. Did you know that there are bongs that cost thousands of dollars.
Josh Arnold
That's not what he said. He said three or four hundred dollars.
Chick McGee
No, you weren't listening. You weren't in here.
Josh Arnold
He was sitting right here when he told the story.
Christy Lee
He did also say there are some that go up to 10,000.
Josh Arnold
Well, he's high if he's telling you.
Chick McGee
There are people who are glassblowers that make.
Josh Arnold
What am I doing? Yeah, but I heard that 10,000.
Chick McGee
You weren't in here. You're not in here all the time, but you are.
Josh Arnold
Right.
Christy Lee
He said on average 300 bucks or something like that.
Chick McGee
But they. But there are very expensive ones.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Never mind. Trying to enlighten you on things that might be interesting.
Josh Arnold
Dear Josh. This is just for Josh. I'm intrigued by your CatWall. Would you please take some pictures and then post your home address online so we can stop by and check it out?
Greg Hahn
Sure.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Nonetheless, they're. They're intrigued by your catwalk.
Chick McGee
Okay, now, we have a couple things coming up I wanted to mention. We are going to be opening day Cincinnati Reds at Smoke justice in Covington. It's a restaurant in Covington. We'll be there from 6 to 10 doing the broadcast brought to you by the Field of Dreams Whiskey Company.
Tom
Yeah.
Chick McGee
And we're gonna have some special T shirts that we're gonna be selling to raise some money for the children's hospital. They're one of the great hospitals in the world. So we'll be posting pictures of that shirt in a few days. Right now, we have a couple technical issues. We'll also be doing another shirt when we're in. We're in Toledo the next day, Friday, March 25, and we have a special shirt in honor of the great Ronald McDonald House. Trying to raise some cash for that, too.
Christy Lee
Cool.
Chick McGee
So it'll be fun. Hope to see you. We'll give you more details as we get. As we get closer, as the baseball season winds up. No, they're winding up. And pitching. No, it's starting. They're kicking off. No, wait a minute. These metaphors are all getting confused. We'll get unconfused when we return. Okay.
Josh Arnold
Nobody else was talking but you.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Josh Arnold
And somehow somebody got confused.
Chick McGee
The O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio is where we are. And this is the Bob and Tom Show. Thanks for listening to the Bob and.
Greg Hahn
Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe.
Chick McGee
This message comes from Greenlight. Ready to start talking to your kids about financial literacy? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app that teaches kids and teens how to earn, earn, save, spend wisely and invest with your guardrails in place with Greenlight, you can send money to kids quickly. Set up chores automate allowance and keep an eye on your kids spending with real time notifications. Join millions of parents and kids building healthy financial habits together on Greenlight. Get started risk free@greenlight.com Spotify soon.
Josh Arnold
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show at the Silac Insurance news desk. There's Christy Lee.
Tom
Hi.
Josh Arnold
There's Pat Godwin. There's Josh Arnold.
Christy Lee
Hello.
Josh Arnold
Ace Cosby.
Christy Lee
Oh, and a happy birthday to Eddie.
Josh Arnold
We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and. Hello, Tom.
Chick McGee
It's Eddie's birthday. What?
Christy Lee
Very happy birthday, Eddie. He didn't know that. He's pretty much. You know what? He runs the show. Let's. Let's be honest.
Tom
Yeah, he does. Happy birthday, Eddie.
Chick McGee
Take the day off starting at noon.
Josh Arnold
What time's the. Was the cake coming in?
Chick McGee
I didn't know it was eddie's birthday until 30 seconds ago. You go to Kroger?
Tom
Is working.
Chick McGee
No, no.
Christy Lee
Pat's recalling his.
Tom
Yeah, I know.
Chick McGee
He's disaster. No one cares about me.
Josh Arnold
Yep.
Tom
Oh, please.
Josh Arnold
You found us out.
Chick McGee
Didn't we do a vegan cake last year? Nope.
Christy Lee
I believe so.
Tom
Yeah, we did. Yes, we did.
Christy Lee
It was good. He's still mad about.
Greg Hahn
Nope.
Chick McGee
It's funny.
Christy Lee
It is funny.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Tom
Mediterranean cake tastes like fish.
Christy Lee
Boy fish and olive oil.
Chick McGee
Like my last girlfri, by the way, for some reason, I did not know that was coming, but I got this letter that's, I guess, appropriate. Dear Bob and Tom show. And of course, the Fabulous Christie. It says.
Tom
Oh, how sweet. Thank you.
Chick McGee
I've been listening my whole life. Oh. Mostly because my dad forced us to listen. Well, hey, wait a minute. That's just.
Josh Arnold
That's just good fathering right there.
Chick McGee
I was listening to one of your recent shows. Oh, I see. The day you made the chocolate cake with mayonnaise.
Christy Lee
Yeah, that's right.
Chick McGee
Jess Hooker. We had heard about this recipe substituting a mayonnaise into the recipe. You hate mayonnaise, right, Kristen?
Tom
Correct.
Chick McGee
I'm a big fan. And anyone want to weigh in on how great that cake was beside me?
Christy Lee
It was delicious. Wonderful. Moist and it was great. Yeah. Not a hint of mayonnaise flavor.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Yeah. Have any of you tried Thundercake? It's chocolate cake made with tomatoes and mayonnaise. It's amazing. It will melt in your mouth. You do not taste the tomatoes or the mayonnaise.
Christy Lee
Wow.
Chick McGee
I'll give this letter to Jess and we'll take it. See if we can get this organized. Thundercake, you do a nice song about that. Pat, Got a request from Italy for you.
Greg Hahn
From Italy?
Chick McGee
Yeah. This is amazing.
Christy Lee
The old country.
Tom
Speaking of the Mediterranean again, Right?
Chick McGee
I am from Florida, Fort Myers. But I am on a train right now going from Venice to Florence listening to you guys.
Tom
Very nice, Very nice.
Chick McGee
Could Pat Godwin please play one of his pizza songs? Todd from Fort Myers.
Tom
All right, Todd.
Greg Hahn
1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4. Some folks like pizza just for the cheese.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Or the stackman. Let us deliver whenever you please.
Greg Hahn
That doesn't matter to me. Just make it crispy at 500 degrees. I don't care about the toppings and sauce. Make sure the pizza dough is kneaded.
Chick McGee
And ready to toss.
Greg Hahn
Cause you know what's important to us? It's always been a matter of.
Chick McGee
Of crust.
Greg Hahn
Always been a matter of crust. One more time. Always been a matter of crust.
Chick McGee
All right. Thank you. Thank you. I hope Billy Joel sells that to one of the pizza companies. Certainly. Time to move on here.
Tom
Thin or thick? What are you?
Chick McGee
I like them both.
Josh Arnold
You like a specific area of the country, like Detroit or Chicago or New York.
Chick McGee
With respect to pizza.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. No, with respect to hotels. Yes, pizza, Tom.
Chick McGee
Necessarily.
Tom
I like really extra.
Chick McGee
I. I don't buy into the New York City slice on the streets. The best pizza in the world. I lived in New York for many years and never found that ever once.
Josh Arnold
Somebody in this room has. Likes cauliflower crust pizza.
Tom
Yeah. I like all of them.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Tom
Nothing wrong with cauliflower crust.
Chick McGee
Wow.
Josh Arnold
I know.
Christy Lee
Yeah, it could be okay, but I much prefer.
Chick McGee
Does that come with the medicine you're taking?
Tom
I don't have it all the time.
Josh Arnold
You need one of those countdown clocks to tell you how long you've got to live while you're eating the cauliflower pizza that would come in hand.
Christy Lee
I had one that was real tasty and one that was utterly joyless. So it's hit or miss, but.
Tom
Yeah, I think any pizza is hit or miss.
Christy Lee
You're exactly right.
Chick McGee
Well, let's add some joy to the world of sports by going over to the orangeinsouls.com sports desk with Chick Magee.
Josh Arnold
LeBron James became the first player in NBA history. Now, that's everybody money. Okay. In history.
Tom
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
He scored his 50,000th point.
Chick McGee
Meadow Lark Lemon.
Tom
Oh, my God.
Josh Arnold
That doesn't. It was a.
Tom
He signed the NBA.
Josh Arnold
I don't know how to tell you this, but The Globetrotters aren't considered in the records of the NBA.
Chick McGee
That's a shame.
Josh Arnold
Is that what it is? He had 34 last night. Luca had 30. And the Lakers. Lakers? Kyrie Irving announced yesterday the team Mavericks. He has a tornado ACL in his left knee. Right knee.
Chick McGee
Can you imagine if your doctor said. Well, Josh, I gotta tell you, all my years of practicing medicine, I've never seen a penis with an acl. But first of all, congratulations.
Christy Lee
Thank you. Thank you.
Chick McGee
It is torn.
Christy Lee
Oh, geez. Anything I can do for this?
Chick McGee
Well, you're gonna have a left hook for a long time. You ever considered a job in the porno industry? We could go with a Josh Arnold.
Josh Arnold
Could you? I don't think he had a hook. I don't. I don't think I'd care for that. Do you think you'd care for that?
Chick McGee
If it hooked up, it might be helpful, yeah.
Josh Arnold
Well, for what?
Tom
We're hitting the G spot.
Chick McGee
I'll explain sex to you later. I think I know what I'm doing.
Josh Arnold
Say, Quan Barkley?
Chick McGee
Judging by historical empirical evidence would suggest otherwise.
Josh Arnold
He's become the highest paid running back, your best friend.
Chick McGee
Wait a minute. We. You just said Saquon Barkley.
Christy Lee
Well, he did try it. Yeah, he tried to get it out.
Josh Arnold
You were too busy insulting Pat.
Chick McGee
You really was. Because he was taking credit for being some kind of superstar.
Josh Arnold
I'm just telling you.
Chick McGee
Have you seen my numbers?
Josh Arnold
Two year contract worth $41.2 million. 36 million guaranteed. That's quite a. Who was the money?
Chick McGee
Who was the first agent that.
Josh Arnold
Oh, boy.
Chick McGee
Got the guaranteed money thing.
Christy Lee
Yeah. That is, I think, really something.
Josh Arnold
Kirk Cousins probably got a guaranteed contract.
Chick McGee
That's a great deal. You mean if I. Yeah. Get hurt, I still get pain?
Josh Arnold
I don't know which sport had the first guaranteed contract. Might have been the NBA. I'm not sure. Somebody will tell me. Somebody will help. Oh, defensive tackle osa. Osa. And his last name is. O D, I G, H I Z U W A. That's right. O Dig Haizuah. Oh, dig Haizua. They can dig it.
Chick McGee
Osawa. What's his name?
Josh Arnold
That's exactly right.
Chick McGee
Oh, great song. Friends of distinction. What's his first name?
Josh Arnold
Osa. Osa.
Chick McGee
Oh, you mentioned him in the shower. Have you seen D's? Osa? D's nuts.
Josh Arnold
You know, as long as he's having fun.
Christy Lee
Kind of rhymes with bofa, I guess.
Josh Arnold
University of North Carolina and head football coach Bill Belichick will not be the subject of HBO's Hard Knocks off season series after failing to reach an agreement with NFL Films. I wonder who the difficult one in this was. That's hard to believe. Sources told CBS Sports that creative control was at the center of the deal falling through. Ryan.
Christy Lee
Okay. Yeah, we know what that means.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Ryan Glass Spiegel of Front Office Sports had previously reported the show had turned to a college program and Belichick in North Carolina was going to be the focus. But no. And now they have to go get all their cameras and move out.
Christy Lee
Creative control being an issue. Yeah, of course.
Chick McGee
I think that would have had a very large amount of yours.
Christy Lee
I think so, too.
Josh Arnold
Really?
Chick McGee
Oh, because the combination of a. Of a guy going to a different, you know, sphere of football going to the college program and then plus Bill Belichick. But Belichick was always the worst one at press conferences. And I understand he's a great guy, but he just. He just didn't like. Didn't like to talk a lot about what was going on. Why would he want cameras around?
Christy Lee
I think Christie also made a good point yesterday of his girlfriend. HBO wouldn't mind a little of her, at least in the background or, you.
Chick McGee
Know, I know Belichick. One of his things, he wanted full frontal nudity of himself.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Christy Lee
And they said, no, thank you.
Chick McGee
They said, no. They didn't want to see that.
Christy Lee
Huh.
Josh Arnold
There's a little Belichick.
Chick McGee
Yeah. I mean, would you want, for example, a camera crew in here all the time getting the behind the scenes stuff? No, thank you.
Josh Arnold
I think we do.
Tom
We have them.
Chick McGee
No, no.
Christy Lee
Exactly.
Tom
Impossible.
Christy Lee
It's not fair. A lot of that stuff is.
Chick McGee
I know they did it in not arable. They did it in the sphere of pornography. Of course, it wasn't called Hard Knocks.
Christy Lee
Oh, sure, yeah, yeah.
Chick McGee
Different title.
Christy Lee
It was called Dude.
Chick McGee
Yeah, Never mind.
Christy Lee
I can't figure it out.
Josh Arnold
He's on the rhyming thing today. Yeah, he's OSA Knox Locks. Can I tell you about prize picks?
Chick McGee
Please.
Josh Arnold
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Chick McGee
Thank you very much, Chick McGee. Coming up, comedian Greg Hahn will be joining us. A special edition of Sexy Time coming up today. Oh, yes, and some more music from Pat Godwin and his guitar, possibly the organ. We'll see. I'm certainly looking forward to that. And we will be returning with Christy Lee, of course. She's going to be passing along some very, very interesting news about divorce and can you be friendly with certain people and we'll find out what's happening there. Uh huh. Be quiet, Pat. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom show.
Greg Hahn
No Contest Wrestling where O'Shea Jackson Jr.
Chick McGee
And TJ Jefferson bring their hot takes.
Greg Hahn
With the biggest names in the game.
Chick McGee
Ladies and gentleme breaker. My aspirations in life.
Josh Arnold
I always wanted to be a WWE superstar.
Chick McGee
The prodigy Roxanne Perez.
Josh Arnold
I gotta talk about the hugger cosplay.
Tom
I mean it was perfect, wasn't it, Louisiana?
Christy Lee
What am I doing here at this point?
Greg Hahn
I can retire. See everybody, the no Contest Wrestling podcast, part of the Rich Eisen Podcast network. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.
Josh Arnold
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. There's Josh Arnold, Christy Lee, Pat Godwin, Ace Cosby and that joke of the day on the way. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Here's Tom with our special guest. Hello.
Chick McGee
Joining us in the studio, it's a comedian, Greg Hahn.
Greg Hahn
Hey, thanks so much for having me back in the big show.
Chick McGee
I'm so thrilled.
Greg Hahn
Ash Wednesday.
Chick McGee
Yes.
Greg Hahn
Hey man, remember you were talking about earlier, Harry Christener, Christian Ari.
Tom
Christian.
Chick McGee
Dudes.
Greg Hahn
What's the other thing? The Mooney, they were at the airport. The Moonies.
Christy Lee
Oh yeah, yeah.
Greg Hahn
Remember that? Oh, but no, remember going to college and like you're walking to a test that you're not prepared for and you see the Hare Krishna's play guitar and, and the tambourine. You were like, I might join this Test. Am I join.
Chick McGee
You know.
Greg Hahn
But then after the test, you'd walk past a man. I'm glad I didn't join a cult, you know?
Chick McGee
Whatever happened to those guys?
Tom
The Hare Krishnas?
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom
I don't know.
Josh Arnold
And the Moonies. I've never seen any of them.
Greg Hahn
They invite you to a spaghetti dinner?
Christy Lee
Is that what they're thinking?
Josh Arnold
They do?
Greg Hahn
Yeah.
Tom
They used to own a sushi bar close to here. I know that.
Chick McGee
I mean, well, the Hari Christians. Who was. The spaghetti dinner, the Moonies or the Hari Christian?
Greg Hahn
Both, I think.
Chick McGee
Really?
Greg Hahn
Well, maybe. Maybe the. I think the Moonies for sure. At the airport. Spaghetti dinner. Yeah.
Chick McGee
Oh, that's a good. Come on. I like that. I've never seen. Who wouldn't want a spaghetti dinner? As opposed to a tasteless wafer, Maybe.
Josh Arnold
The words out on me. They think they know I'm a smart aleck. I've never seen the Mormons at my house. I've never seen anybody. Jehovah's.
Tom
None of them, really.
Josh Arnold
Not at the airport or anything.
Chick McGee
Huh. Do you live in a rural area?
Christy Lee
No, I'm with you, Chickster. I've never had them at my door either.
Josh Arnold
Right.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
What's happened? I think they're. They're leaving a lot of souls at the door. That's what they're doing.
Christy Lee
I mean, you haven't seen those guys with the white shirt and wearing khakis. I've seen them walk around, but I've never had anybody.
Tom
No, I have.
Chick McGee
No.
Josh Arnold
I've seen them in the movies. The only time I've seen him.
Chick McGee
You've seen him in the neighborhood?
Josh Arnold
Come.
Tom
No, I've invited them in.
Christy Lee
Yeah, I would do. I have. I'd like to find out.
Tom
Well, young men. Young men and young women are very interested in things.
Chick McGee
Really? Yeah.
Christy Lee
I like to hear things that I don't know much about.
Chick McGee
Is it the. Let me ask you, is it. Is it the spaghetti? Be honest.
Tom
Funny, but door to door, carrying spaghetti, no wonder.
Chick McGee
No wonder they're not making any sales.
Greg Hahn
Catholics, nice.
Josh Arnold
Garlic bread.
Greg Hahn
Catholics, nice.
Josh Arnold
Right.
Greg Hahn
You go to church, then after church you go to the parking lot.
Chick McGee
Lay on the horn. Yeah.
Greg Hahn
Peace be with you, but keep it moving.
Chick McGee
Now Christie is going for her ashes and we found out that there are a number of places that literally have ashes to go.
Tom
Yes.
Chick McGee
With the priest stands outside with a bucket or something.
Tom
I went to my priest friend during the break.
Christy Lee
Yes.
Tom
And he said most of the time it's lay ministers or deacons who do that. That there are some priests that have Kind of a problem with you not actually attending the service.
Christy Lee
Oh, okay.
Tom
But just getting the ashes.
Christy Lee
But others.
Tom
Yeah, but others. But they. They still. It's. It's still a good sign of your faith. And, I mean, and what do you have.
Christy Lee
You know, what do you do if you have a terrible sinus infection?
Chick McGee
You know which place you go to? White Castle. Chick Fil A.
Tom
Do you. Is there not that kind of drive through? Bad. You go to the church parking lot. Usually they have silly rascal you.
Chick McGee
Now, Pat, you used to be an altar boy. Yeah, a long time. Did you ever assist on the Ash Wednesday? I assumed you have a bucket of ashes.
Josh Arnold
Absolutely.
Chick McGee
Yeah. We're all part of it.
Tom
Yeah.
Chick McGee
I did the incense.
Tom
Yeah. And then the priest carries a little peppermint.
Chick McGee
Now, the incense. The incense is the thing that's hanging on a chain, right?
Greg Hahn
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Did you ever do a 360 with it? No, I didn't go for my mom. My mom would be sitting in the pew.
Christy Lee
I wouldn't.
Chick McGee
I mean, you see him swinging it. You know, it's got to be. You've got to be thinking, you know, if I get just enough momentum. Phantom, I can do it. Whoa.
Josh Arnold
Did you hear Josh? When Pat said he did the incense? Josh did the peppermint? You didn't get.
Chick McGee
Oh, yeah. A little jokey joke. Incense, peppermint. You know, we're talking about Greg.
Greg Hahn
Yeah, the stink bomb. I loved it as a kid.
Chick McGee
No, the incense and Peppermint is a song. Oh, oh, oh.
Greg Hahn
You're talking about the thing on a chain.
Christy Lee
Strawberry Alarm Clock.
Tom
We're talking about a song, and they're. Yeah, see, I can.
Chick McGee
I could tie this into reality. Chick will help me with this.
Josh Arnold
I will.
Chick McGee
Strawberry Alarm Clock, featuring the. The excellent guitar playing of the one.
Josh Arnold
And only Ed King. That's right.
Chick McGee
Now, what band was Mr. King?
Tom
Oh, let me think.
Chick McGee
Could it be Skynyrd?
Josh Arnold
Skynyrd. Leonard Skinner?
Chick McGee
Skynyrd. The famous riff in Sweet home Alabama is Mr. King.
Greg Hahn
Wow, I didn't know that.
Chick McGee
Tied to incense and peppermints. Yeah, we just got Ash Wednesday all. All tied together there. It makes so much sense now. Now.
Christy Lee
Well, happy Ash Wednesday to those who celebrate.
Tom
Thank you. They also said. He also confirmed you don't have to leave the ashes on. It's not a sin to wipe them off. But they prefer that you do.
Christy Lee
Yeah, I'd heard. I'd always heard that it was preferred that they naturally do.
Chick McGee
Yeah, no, I hear that. NFL guys get them under each eye.
Christy Lee
Hey, look, while I'm here, Padre you mind just killing two birds with one stone?
Chick McGee
I got a game today. Yeah? Yeah, I know.
Josh Arnold
It is weird to have a Wednesday game. I never did that. And I. You know, I only played in high school, though. I don't. I. I guess it keeps the glare out of your eyes.
Christy Lee
I guess baseball players used to swear by it.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
And I think it's also a good ritual. You know, before the game, you kind of get your game face on. Literally.
Tom
Is it.
Chick McGee
You put the eye black on.
Christy Lee
Now there's. Now there's stickers.
Tom
Oh, okay.
Greg Hahn
Oh, really?
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Greg Hahn
Good. Looks good.
Chick McGee
Yeah, it makes you look serious. You got something going on.
Josh Arnold
And then there's death. Yeah. There are some you put in the refrigerator to cut down your puffiness on your eyes.
Tom
Oh, yeah. I could use those.
Christy Lee
Oh, yeah, me too. Too.
Chick McGee
It's like a. Like a cucumber. The same effect.
Greg Hahn
Yes.
Tom
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Only these are plastic and they get cold.
Chick McGee
You recycle.
Josh Arnold
So if you're ugly, you can put those on in the morning and boom, you're beautiful. Really?
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
That's what they advertise.
Chick McGee
I see. Now, we were visiting Chick McGee over at the. Over at the orangeinsols.com sports desk.
Josh Arnold
Look what we've got here. The Kalamazoo Growlers, one of my favorite minor league baseball teams, have unveiled their latest ballpark concession. And I don't know how now we've gotten this far without mentioning this. It's called the Skat dog. S K E S K A T Dog.
Christy Lee
Okay.
Josh Arnold
Scat dog. It's a hot dog topped with whipped cream, sprinkles and maraschino cherry.
Christy Lee
Is that right?
Josh Arnold
Served on a custom chocolate cake donut.
Christy Lee
Oh, okay.
Josh Arnold
It's 10. 17 calories will be available at Saturday games this season. Season 10 Lucky fans get a free. A free scat dog at each Saturday night game.
Chick McGee
How about that? Now, I would. I can't really weigh in on this until I've tried one because remember the problem we had?
Josh Arnold
Sounds delicious. We.
Chick McGee
We had the thing where they were met. I'll talk to you, Greg. They were making hamburgers. Instead of a bun, they were using a Krispy Kreme doughnut. We all thought it sounded terrible. Then we had one and it was racist. That sweetness. So this might be good. The name scat, that's a little disturbing. Scat, of course, is. Means poop. Yeah.
Christy Lee
I wonder why they're using it like that.
Josh Arnold
The term scat is slang. It says here for animal droppings and ties into the Kalamazoo Growlers. Name of the name The Growlers is a tribute to the black bears that can be heard growling in the forest of Michigan. And there's the C in scat is replaced with a K in scat dog because of baseball's K. That sounds for. Stands for strikeouts.
Christy Lee
Gotcha.
Josh Arnold
There you go.
Chick McGee
It sounds like fun.
Greg Hahn
You were talking about dogs earlier.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Greg Hahn
Can I bring up dogs, please? Tom, do we have time? Do you like that? That. What is it? Thanksgiving dog show.
Tom
Oh, the Westminster.
Greg Hahn
You watch that every year. Is that not fun?
Chick McGee
I love the dog show.
Greg Hahn
The lineup up.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Greg Hahn
The slobbering chomper. The kitchen crapper. The short legged frumpet.
Josh Arnold
The homeless dog.
Greg Hahn
Mailbox head. The Irish farter guy in a dog suit.
Christy Lee
Mailbox head has to be a schnauzer, right? Mailbox.
Chick McGee
I like that one. Guy in a dog.
Josh Arnold
I like the guy in the dog suit. He's incredibly obedient.
Chick McGee
Should we have Ms. Hooker make us a scat dog and try? And yet, do you think you take a bite of that thing?
Josh Arnold
I don't know. Why not? Absolutely.
Chick McGee
At first, the hot dog topped with whipped cream and the maraschino cherry. Yeah.
Josh Arnold
I don't know about the cherry, but custom chocolate cake donut. That's got to be okay, right?
Greg Hahn
Yeah, yeah.
Chick McGee
Might be good. I don't know.
Tom
I don't know.
Chick McGee
Remember we did the thing that was.
Christy Lee
Freudian donut and a hot dog.
Josh Arnold
Christie's not allowed to weigh in because she doesn't eat anything that has any flavor.
Tom
Take a bite, maybe.
Chick McGee
Mr. Han, do you remember the thing a couple years ago with it, like, there was a video of a guy drinking a beer using a hot dog hollowed out for a straw.
Greg Hahn
I recall that.
Chick McGee
And we tried that. And it wasn't bad.
Tom
It wasn't bad. I did try that. It was not bad.
Christy Lee
Salty.
Tom
Yeah.
Greg Hahn
Delicious.
Chick McGee
So I say your beer. I say take that State fair. We got the scat dog. We're going to give it a try. It sounds. It sounds pretty good to me.
Josh Arnold
Hang on. Ace has something. Yes, Ace. No it. Custom cake bun or donut.
Tom
Yeah.
Chick McGee
So it had to be shaped like.
Josh Arnold
A bun, wouldn't it? I don't know.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Who knows? But now this does remind me of something. I've got a sheet over here that's kind of interesting. Of mascot names. Now, if you're just joining us, this is the Bob and Tom Show. We are coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. These are unusual high school mascot names.
Christy Lee
Okay.
Chick McGee
The Cobden Apple Knockers from Cobden, Illinois. The apple knocker is depicted as a man with freckles, wearing overalls, a flannel shirt, a straw hat, and chewing on a piece of straw.
Josh Arnold
That sounds like Johnny Appleseed or something.
Christy Lee
I wonder if he knocks the tree so that the apples will fall.
Chick McGee
But it started as a derogatory nickname by the other schools and they embraced it. That's a great one. How about this one from Sandy, Utah, The Jordan Beet Diggers. Sugar beet farming was a major industry in the valley when the high school was founded. Are you a beet eater, Josh?
Christy Lee
I really am, yes. I love them. I get the love beets. The raw. I just love them. I used to hate them as a kid.
Josh Arnold
How about borscht? Do you like borscht?
Chick McGee
Never.
Christy Lee
I've never actually had the great flavor.
Josh Arnold
Of beets in a soup.
Christy Lee
Never. With a dollop of sour cream. I think I've never actually had it right.
Greg Hahn
Are these supposed to be sports teams?
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Greg Hahn
These are bad names.
Chick McGee
No, they're good.
Greg Hahn
Yeah, the worst.
Josh Arnold
What was your high school nickname, Greg?
Greg Hahn
My high school nickname?
Josh Arnold
I mean the name.
Greg Hahn
The Cardinal Gibbons. Redskins.
Josh Arnold
Redskins. There you go.
Christy Lee
Where are they now?
Greg Hahn
Chiefs.
Chick McGee
Really? I think they kind of missed the point of the name change. Wow. Yikes. No, I like it when they have an unusual name that instead of the generic Lancers, Warriors, Panthers, blah, blah, blah, blah. How about this one? The Boiling Springs Bubblers from the Natural Artesian well, springs in town.
Greg Hahn
Oh, for three.
Chick McGee
This next one, I think you're gonna like it. There's a place called Hoopston, Illinois.
Christy Lee
Oh, yeah, there it is.
Josh Arnold
I know this one. The Corn Jerker.
Chick McGee
Yes, very good. Chick Magee.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
It says, before the days of mechanical harvesters, corn was pulled or jerked from the stalk, then shucked and tossed into a wagon. This is known as Corn Jerking. The Jerks.
Greg Hahn
They're probably.
Josh Arnold
Go ahead, let's go.
Chick McGee
No, no. I think we can all build our own joke there, Pat. Jerk the corn last night. I thought it was Josh. Is it me now?
Christy Lee
Because it's food and jerking today.
Chick McGee
We're ganging up on you. Because I bet Chick knows. I know Chick knows this one. Once again, the high school team in Pocah, West Virginia.
Josh Arnold
Oh, it's got to be. Yeah, the Dots.
Chick McGee
The Pocahontas.
Josh Arnold
Kind of where Randy Moss went to high school.
Christy Lee
The Haunteses.
Josh Arnold
No, the Dots.
Greg Hahn
Is it really the Dots again?
Chick McGee
It used to be the Pocahontas. And then once again, I used to.
Josh Arnold
Go through polka to get to Welch. Polka Dots. Yeah.
Tom
It doesn't really. Is that the name of their fear in their opponents?
Greg Hahn
Is that the football team? Is that a joke?
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Chick McGee
No, no.
Christy Lee
The only time you're afraid of a dot is if there's a red one on your forehead that's sort of laser, like moving laser.
Chick McGee
Christy, I bet you can get this one because you. You were just in Key west, right? Right.
Tom
Correct.
Chick McGee
The Key West High School. The Key West Fighting Hemingways.
Tom
Roosters.
Josh Arnold
Six toed Cats.
Chick McGee
I gotta get my mouth wet, so I say this right. The Fighting Conchs.
Tom
Oh, okay.
Chick McGee
How do you pronounce it?
Christy Lee
You said it right.
Chick McGee
Conch.
Christy Lee
Conch.
Chick McGee
Shell. Yeah, like a conch shell. Boy, you know, the other team. Know what they call them? They mispronounce that, I'm sure, all the time. Here's a good one. From Horsham, Pennsylvania.
Josh Arnold
Wow.
Christy Lee
Oh, I'm sorry. That's Horseshack, Pennsylvania.
Tom
Horsham, Pennsylvania.
Chick McGee
Remember Horshack? Don't you remember Horseshack?
Christy Lee
Arnold Horseshack.
Greg Hahn
Funny, funny.
Chick McGee
Remember the little. He's no longer with us, by the way. No, yeah, he. But remember he was in that boxing match.
Greg Hahn
No.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Remember they were doing those celebrity boxing matches with the big gloves.
Tom
And who did he fight?
Chick McGee
Did he believe Screech and Screech took him on?
Josh Arnold
Just move on.
Chick McGee
It wasn't really. Imagine. It was a hate crime.
Christy Lee
Old Ron Palillo.
Chick McGee
All right, let's go on.
Tom
He told you to move on.
Chick McGee
The Hatboro Horsham Hatters. That's a mouthful.
Greg Hahn
Let's get better.
Chick McGee
From Horsham, Pennsylvania. Here's a great one.
Christy Lee
Okay.
Chick McGee
The Northeast Dubois Jeeps. From Northeast Dubois County, Indiana.
Josh Arnold
Dubois.
Tom
The Jeeps.
Chick McGee
The Jeeps. Eugene, the Jeep was a character with magical or supernatural abilities in the Popeye comic strip in the 1930s.
Josh Arnold
Of course he was. Don't talk down to me.
Chick McGee
I didn't know that.
Josh Arnold
I didn't either. I'm just sounding like all these teams.
Greg Hahn
Are O and 14.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Okay, how about this one from. This is a really easy one, Pat. I'm gonna give it to you like some dump.
Tom
Well, he didn't really.
Chick McGee
If you don't get this, you owe me $20. I owe you a lot more than that. From. From Polo, Illinois. They, of course, are the Polo ponies. Ace, you want to give it a shot? Mark? I mean, Marco, the answer is. Sorry, Ace, I gave you the answer.
Tom
What?
Chick McGee
The Marcos. The Polo Marcos.
Josh Arnold
Well, that's.
Tom
That's stupid.
Chick McGee
How was I going to get that?
Christy Lee
I was going to go with shirt.
Josh Arnold
Maybe they should go. Polo shirts should be ponies. That's no good. I say we go there and change the name.
Chick McGee
The Polo Marcos.
Tom
No, dumb, stupid.
Chick McGee
Lastly, from Brewer, Maine, you'll probably. You may know more about this one, Josh. The Brewer High. H I G H. The Brewer High Witches.
Christy Lee
Oh, all right.
Tom
Now you got something.
Greg Hahn
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Oh, is it near?
Tom
You are afraid of witches.
Greg Hahn
That's right.
Chick McGee
Yeah. It must be Salem.
Josh Arnold
Well, no, that's Maine, not. That's Massachusetts.
Christy Lee
Sure, sure. New England was riddled with them.
Josh Arnold
That's true. Up to our necks. And witches.
Chick McGee
You tackle the guy and you go, sometimes dead is better. If you went to a high school that has an unusual name, send it to us, won't you? We'd love to hear from you, Bob and tom@bobandtom.com Pat. You guys were what, the fighting what? Mountaineers. Mountaineers. That's good. That go to Christy Lee. You were the Giants, right?
Tom
The Giants. My husband was a spark plug. That's kind of unusual.
Christy Lee
That is unusual.
Tom
The only one, I think, in the country.
Chick McGee
What was the speedway?
Tom
Did he play spark plugs? Yeah, he was a football player.
Christy Lee
You ever call a woman a spark plug? Like, you know, she's kind of like a sassy, shorter, cute but fiery sort of.
Chick McGee
You did.
Christy Lee
Plucky. You're a spark plug.
Josh Arnold
You're a real spark plug.
Christy Lee
Yeah, I think it's cute.
Josh Arnold
You ever use the term plug? Like when you stop it, getting ready to travel. Don't forget your plugs. Stuff like that, man.
Christy Lee
Pack your cars.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Pack your carts.
Josh Arnold
Don't forget your crabs.
Chick McGee
I've lost my place. I'll be honest with you now. If you got a great high school nickname.
Tom
Well, you were a prepper. Aren't you going to bring that up?
Chick McGee
Yeah, we were the preppers. But the. And not like the current use of the term prepper, which are, you know, the guys buying all the food and water for their basement. No.
Tom
You were preppy.
Chick McGee
Yeah. You following me here? Anybody? Anybody?
Tom
Did you guys have lash things on your.
Chick McGee
Forever.
Greg Hahn
What was it you were prepping?
Christy Lee
Prepping?
Tom
Alligator.
Greg Hahn
What was your prep?
Chick McGee
It was. Because it was a prep school. College preparatory, they used to say back in the day. So they were the preppers?
Greg Hahn
Yeah.
Tom
They had madras suits, you know.
Christy Lee
Oh, you would have kicked their asses. Great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You would have beat these guys.
Chick McGee
Fine sports teams. Ace. Ace. What were you?
Christy Lee
Patriot?
Chick McGee
The Patriots? Okay, very good, very good. But if you have an unusual, we'd love to hear from you. Aren't there a couple of them that are about like the old. Wasn't There one about the atomic bomb.
Christy Lee
I know the Springfield Isotopes from the.
Chick McGee
Simpsons, but that's based on a real one.
Josh Arnold
There's. Yeah, there's one in Hanford, Washington. I think that's the atomic. I don't know. Yeah, well, give me a chance.
Chick McGee
I want to remind you of a couple things. We have a couple broadcasts coming up. Major League Baseball opening day with the Cincinnati Reds, Thursday, March 27th at Smoke justice in Covington, Ky. We'll be there from 6 to 10. Hope you stop by. Brought to you by Field of Dreams Whiskey Company. We will have a special T shirt. We're gonna donate the proceeds to the great children's hospital there.
Christy Lee
And I just got a text. I may be playing shortstop for the Reds that day.
Chick McGee
All right.
Christy Lee
I'm trying to figure out if the guy will actually get off the injured list.
Tom
And that's cool.
Josh Arnold
You might be playing shortstop for the Reds.
Christy Lee
Yeah, it's wait on opening day.
Josh Arnold
It's wait and see when they play the Giants.
Christy Lee
That's right.
Josh Arnold
Is that what you're telling me?
Christy Lee
I just got the text.
Chick McGee
Wear a cup. Okay, you know what? I'm gonna go just to see.
Josh Arnold
All right, you turn it, too.
Chick McGee
Line drive to the balls. Oh, he's down. Then minor league opening day with the Toledo Mud Hens. The legendary Mud Hens. What a great name that is. And that's going to be at the Glass City center, Downtown Toledo, Friday, March 28th. Same deal. We're doing a special T shirt for the great Ronald McDonald House. So this is going to be fun and cool. That's also brought to you by Field of Dreams Whiskey Company. So, baseball fans and radio fans, we hope to see you live and in person. Coming up, we're going to go back to that beautiful ownjinsouls.com sports desk and that handsome man Chick McGee. And we'll eventually get over to the lady that's going to have an ashy face today. She is Christy lee at the Silac Insurance News Day desk. From the O'Reilly Auto Part studio, this is the Bob and Tom Show. Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning.
Greg Hahn
Get a look at today's show on our YouTube channel.
Chick McGee
Chills when I find out what the hell in puck.
Josh Arnold
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. There's Josh Arnold, Ace Cosby, Pat Godwin, Christy Lee and Tom. We have a special guest in the studio.
Chick McGee
Look at that man over there. That's comedian Greg Hahn, one of my favorite human beings.
Greg Hahn
Thank you. I feel good. The rose hips Are kicking in supplements.
Christy Lee
Feel it.
Chick McGee
Greg is a very handsome young man. Wouldn't you say so, Christy?
Tom
Yes.
Greg Hahn
Thanks.
Tom
Christy, your hair looks very nice today too.
Greg Hahn
Oh yeah? It's not overcooked on top?
Tom
No.
Greg Hahn
Well, Christy, you look like a beautiful little Christmas tree that talks. Isn't that nice?
Josh Arnold
He's always been able to talk to the ladies.
Chick McGee
Yes. Earlier, Josh was suggested give her. Called a woman a little spark plug.
Christy Lee
That's a fun way to. You know. Debbie Reynolds was a spark plug.
Josh Arnold
Is that right?
Tom
I do love it. My husband could call me a spark plug.
Chick McGee
Yeah, it's cute.
Greg Hahn
You gotta know how to talk to ladies, you know? I mean, you gotta have the small talk. Small talk. Hey, hot enough for you? Not if I see you first. You know what I mean?
Chick McGee
Sure.
Christy Lee
Leave him blushing.
Chick McGee
Thank you very much. You can find out more about Mr. Han if you explore the world of the Internet. Is that correct? Correct. Greghon.com Greghon.com maybe you've got a company and you want to have a nice outing and you want to have it spoiled by everyone laughing. Call Mr. Hahn. We had him do a business thing for us once. It was one of the greatest meetings of all time because it was so much fun. What is that called? Team building?
Christy Lee
Corporate event? Any kind of.
Chick McGee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm bringing this up because at this time of year, I always get mad about the same thing, which is when the basketball tournament starts, March Madness. We always get that story from, what is it? Christmas Gray, Party Pooper and Van Dyke about how much productivity is lost. This is going to cost a billion dollars to the economy. Because people might be enjoying themselves for 20 minutes in the office getting together to watch a game. They always talk about it in such a negative fashion. I don't buy that. That it's to you. You want every. The place where you work. People want to have fun, right?
Tom
Yeah, I say that every day.
Christy Lee
Yeah, we love to work at a place.
Chick McGee
One of these days we'll turn the mics off and watch a game.
Greg Hahn
I had a corporate job. My power tie used to squirt.
Josh Arnold
I never had one of those. Squirting what? A flower, right? A flower in your pallet. Squirt water, man. I did. Man, that was funny.
Greg Hahn
Did you have one?
Christy Lee
I bought like a. When I was like 13 or something, there was some weird mail order catalog that came to our house and it had all that stuff and I saved and saved and finally got to order this kit with all those things. The thing about the squirting flower couldn't have Been more obvious. I mean, it was like, that's clearly a squirting flower.
Chick McGee
And a lot of. You can see the piping. Yeah.
Christy Lee
Just dripping.
Tom
Did it have the hand buzzer in it too?
Christy Lee
Yes, I had a hand buzzer. I had a. The best thing was a pack of gum that had a piece kind of sticking out. And when you pulled that, it was like a mousetrap.
Greg Hahn
Yeah.
Christy Lee
And I was. Now what I did was it just said like gum. So I took an actual Juicy Fruit wrapper and I really made it and I rigged the mousetrap. I mean, I tightened the hell out of it.
Josh Arnold
No kidding.
Chick McGee
It hurts so bad.
Josh Arnold
Almost take your finger clean off. I bet. Yeah.
Chick McGee
Broke some fingers.
Christy Lee
That was a good one.
Chick McGee
You have to know that there's some guy that converted a taser into one of the handshake things.
Christy Lee
Yes.
Chick McGee
So they really give a guy a jolt.
Christy Lee
Right.
Chick McGee
The trick would be doing it so that you don't get the jolt too.
Christy Lee
That is the key.
Chick McGee
There's probably some barrier that you can put up of some miracle fiber. That would be great. We are going to return to the orangeinsouls.com sports desk with Chick Magee.
Josh Arnold
And look what we've got here, Tom, right out of the gate.
Chick McGee
Oh, this one's great. Do we have a picture of this record? This is. Christy, you're gonna love this because you're a former gymnast. Honest.
Tom
Yeah, I don't know. What, what is the record? Is it a handstand record or better?
Josh Arnold
Oh, 20. Remember all this?
Tom
Okay.
Josh Arnold
26 year old Syrian ballet dancer got into the so called splits position and balanced on a pair of moving ATVs for a ride lasting over 1500ft.
Christy Lee
Oh, the old Van Damme.
Josh Arnold
I was going to say the only thing that probably relatable is Jean Claude Van Damme. It looks like he's doing this. He did do it, actually physically.
Tom
Did he really?
Christy Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Chick McGee
What was the Van Damme?
Christy Lee
This, but on, I think semi trucks.
Tom
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
What was the. Now it's not very good though. I forget what the commercial was for.
Christy Lee
Yeah, I forget too, but.
Chick McGee
Oh, that. Yeah, I do remember that. Yeah. Well, this, this young lady is in the splits position.
Tom
Huh.
Chick McGee
And that you can see the ATVs are moving. I, I if the sound was disturbing, but there was kind of a high pitched whistling.
Christy Lee
Oh, sure.
Chick McGee
Dogs are following me. There she is. You can see.
Christy Lee
Well, she couldn't be hotter.
Tom
She's a ballet dancer.
Chick McGee
She's got on those nice.
Christy Lee
I've seen some uggo ballet dancers.
Chick McGee
Those tight Yoga pants.
Tom
She has on tights and a leotard. And she's. She's doing this.
Chick McGee
Nope, those are yoga pants.
Christy Lee
I mean, she's really not my type. I mean, she isn't. Those.
Chick McGee
Come on.
Christy Lee
Look at how thin her legs are.
Greg Hahn
No, she's got. She's got quads.
Christy Lee
Nothing to hold on to.
Josh Arnold
Now you can see is coming off her in waves.
Chick McGee
You can see that. This was in Syria, apparently. Or she's Syrian. Here it says the. Okay, the. The guys driving the two ATVs are. I guess they're famous.
Christy Lee
Famous. ATD V. Driver.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Muhammad.
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah.
Chick McGee
Blue. She and Abdullah. Allah. Okay, I'm totally serious. Allah.
Josh Arnold
Well, I know Muhammad. There was John Jim and Muhammad Belushi. I know that.
Chick McGee
It's Al Balushi. A L, B, L, O, O, S H I. Al B Lushi. Right.
Christy Lee
Okay. All right.
Chick McGee
And Abdullah Hadawadi. And they are their professional name, of course. They're the Dubai Brothers.
Christy Lee
Adobe Brothers. Joke. It was too much work. It was too much work.
Chick McGee
There's a lot of work.
Josh Arnold
The Dubai Brother.
Tom
I don't even get it.
Chick McGee
You're not supposed to. They're from Dubai. You see there? It's a country or a city. What is it?
Tom
Well, I know. Bye.
Christy Lee
But Doobie Brothers. Dubai Brothers.
Tom
Well, if they were.
Christy Lee
This goes a lot faster if you. Exactly. Christy.
Chick McGee
Taking it to the end. Ashram or. What do they. Ashram. Where do they have their services? I don't know.
Christy Lee
You know, don't you wish you were part of whatever show he's doing? Have to look at how much fun he's had.
Josh Arnold
He is having fun.
Chick McGee
I don't know. What.
Christy Lee
Feel an ounce of that.
Chick McGee
What do they call their churches? I don't know.
Josh Arnold
You know what you should do? Keep guessing.
Chick McGee
It's not Ashram. That's something else.
Christy Lee
I don't know.
Greg Hahn
But what's that?
Christy Lee
Have you ever heard the word fat fatwa? Are you familiar with that? Because I believe you now are the owner.
Josh Arnold
That's a personal vendetta of some sort, I believe. Yeah.
Chick McGee
I was just reading Salman Rushdie's book, A Poor Guy.
Josh Arnold
Salman Rushdie. That's how we're doing.
Chick McGee
That's how you pronounce it? Salman, or Guy lost his eye. It's terrible. Yeah, The Dubai Brothers.
Josh Arnold
Well, did he retrace his steps? You find his eye?
Chick McGee
No, no, that's.
Christy Lee
He did. It was on the end of a knife.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Now, she's not wearing a helmet in this photograph, by the way, which is. I mean, don't you Think she should be?
Christy Lee
I do, but, I mean, you saw the money maker, her face was. She's a knockout. Yeah. She just has nothing going on below the navel.
Chick McGee
How about a cup, though? Do you think, Christy.
Tom
A cup?
Chick McGee
I mean, she drops on that thing. The puffy parts don't give you much.
Christy Lee
Yeah, you don't want road rash there.
Tom
No.
Christy Lee
She says.
Greg Hahn
How long did they go like that?
Tom
1500Ft, you said?
Josh Arnold
Yep.
Christy Lee
Was that 10 seconds?
Tom
That's what I was thinking. Doesn't seem that hard.
Christy Lee
I could do that if you tied me to the.
Chick McGee
First of all, I want to be there when you get in the splits position and to hear the sound of your femur breaking or your hip disengaging.
Christy Lee
My pelvis exploding.
Tom
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Break your legs, Josh.
Chick McGee
We'll try that. Thank you very much. It's a nice world right record. Let's see. By the way, let's see David Rush do that, huh?
Tom
She's doing the side splits. Do not. The center splits, for those of you who are trying to pick.
Chick McGee
Wait a minute.
Christy Lee
Right, right.
Chick McGee
Center is.
Tom
Center's when they're both your legs are straight out. She's got one out and one behind her.
Chick McGee
Josh could do the center.
Tom
Can you do the center split?
Greg Hahn
Sure, sure.
Christy Lee
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm still trying to perfect the side.
Tom
Okay, again.
Chick McGee
He won't be able to ever stand up again.
Tom
The center splits are harder than the side splits.
Chick McGee
Okay, okay.
Tom
Good to know.
Chick McGee
Now, I want to remind everybody that Mr. Greg Han is our guest. He's on the road March 13th through the 15th in Waterford, Michigan, at One Night Stand.
Greg Hahn
Hey, it's my arena tour at comedy clubs. I'm delusional.
Josh Arnold
Man, I love that place, One Night Stand.
Chick McGee
Oh, I do, too. Stan is the man. And then my favorite, April 25th and 26th, Lowell, Arkansas, at the Grove. April 27th in Dallas at Hyenas Comedy Club. That's a good name for a comedy club. Randy Butler.
Josh Arnold
Great club.
Greg Hahn
Yeah, yeah.
Chick McGee
May 8th through the 10th, Erie, Pa, at Keller's.
Greg Hahn
A classic.
Chick McGee
And then June 7th in Friedley, Minnesota.
Greg Hahn
Something like that. Some kind of a festival. I'm going to Freedly.
Chick McGee
I don't know. It's F R I D L E Y at Loons on the Lake Festival.
Greg Hahn
Oh, thanks for mentioning it.
Chick McGee
That'll be great.
Christy Lee
June, great name for a festival.
Greg Hahn
Yeah.
Chick McGee
On a cool lake. Yeah. You got loons all around.
Greg Hahn
That's right.
Chick McGee
And you're a loony guy.
Greg Hahn
Yeah, I'm one of them.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Okay, good. We'll find out more about Mr. Han when we return. Once again, we are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show. There's more of the show coming up. Book your next vacation with Christy Lee and Colette. Visit England, Scotland and Wales this September 28th.
Greg Hahn
Visit Bob bobandtom.com for details. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Chick McGee
Christy Lee.
Josh Arnold
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. At the Silac Insurance news desk, it's Christy Lee. There's Pat Godwin.
Chick McGee
Hey, Chick.
Josh Arnold
There's Josh Arnold. Ace Cosby over there. The joke of the day coming up. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. Tom is here and we have a special guest.
Chick McGee
We have a comedian, Greg Hahn. He's right over there.
Greg Hahn
Flintstones Chewables are kicking in.
Chick McGee
Flintstones chewables, of course. Got this letter. Since Greg Hot is in this morning, I have to forego my coffee. Writes David from Cedar Falls, Iowa because he's afraid he'll have a spit take. Ladies and gentlemen, Tom.
Christy Lee
Do you remember for years, and I don't know if they've ever rectified this Flintstone Chewables did not have a Betty. She was the only character that really just didn't make Betty. I wonder if they finally fixed it.
Josh Arnold
And that's of all the cast. I think I would eat Betty.
Christy Lee
Yeah, sure.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, absolutely.
Greg Hahn
Hey, Fred.
Josh Arnold
That's right. My wife Wilma was kind of whiny. Yeah.
Christy Lee
You know, Audrey Meadows wasn't the sexiest inspiration.
Tom
She was a redhead too, you know.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Chick McGee
I didn't like the piled high hair.
Tom
See, I knew it. I knew that we were gonna go.
Chick McGee
Yeah. We actually have something Flintstones related in the news. Oh, this is a real stretch. Do you know what I'm talking about, Christian?
Tom
Pardon?
Josh Arnold
Ace does.
Christy Lee
I do.
Tom
Are you talking about the mammoth thing?
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom
A group of scientists claim they are one step closer to resurrecting the woolly mammoth.
Christy Lee
Man, these guys have been telling us this for the last year or so, but no one they're still going forward.
Tom
Colossal Biosciences, Josh. Hoping to resurrect various extinct species.
Josh Arnold
Have they not seen the movies?
Christy Lee
Yeah, we've begged them to stop.
Tom
They have. Genetics genetically engineered a shaggy little brown mouse with fat deposits as part of its effort to revive the extinct woolly mammoth.
Christy Lee
Okay. I would like to success.
Tom
Scientists focused on mouse genes related to hair expression with links to the math the mammoth's genome. Colossal has also been working to bring the dodo bird and others. Wasn't the dodo bird the rabbit record player on the Flintstones.
Chick McGee
See, that's what I was gonna. That's the connection to the Flintstones, obviously. The woolly mammoth wasn't the shower, was it the shower or the dishwasher?
Christy Lee
Maybe both.
Chick McGee
I remember.
Christy Lee
Yeah, I definitely remember a shower. She would pull on the trunk and then it would.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Josh Arnold
Think how small amounts his DNA is, though. Thanks. Ours small.
Christy Lee
Yeah. No kidding. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Josh Arnold
How would you find.
Christy Lee
My cells have to be way small.
Chick McGee
Yeah. This is. Boy, do we know a lot about science.
Josh Arnold
Holy hell.
Chick McGee
Scientists must listen to this show and just go.
Greg Hahn
Go.
Chick McGee
Shaking their heads, going.
Josh Arnold
And they look at each other. We never thought of that.
Chick McGee
These guys are really morons.
Christy Lee
I like the term hair expression.
Tom
Hair express.
Chick McGee
Yeah. This.
Christy Lee
My hair expression is a frowny face.
Chick McGee
I edited this thing down because it's. Do we have a picture of the mouse?
Tom
Why? Well, if they can make hair grow on a mouse, why can't they make hair grow on people?
Chick McGee
Oh, here, I just found one here. Josh, can you step over here and look at this?
Christy Lee
Sure. Yeah.
Chick McGee
I mean, these things are the cutest things you've ever seen. Look at these little guys.
Josh Arnold
A little pet hairy mouse.
Chick McGee
They're like little super bushy little. They look like little dogs.
Josh Arnold
But he has taken leave of his senses.
Chick McGee
And there are a lot of scientists that are not happy with this.
Christy Lee
Yeah, there's some ethical things.
Chick McGee
Here's what's interesting. This company is currently valued at $10 billion. It was founded by an entrepreneur named Mr. Ben Lamb. L A M M. And a geneticist named George Church. The Lamb. Once again, they're trying to bring back the mammoth, the dodo and the Tasmanian tiger.
Christy Lee
And Ernest Borgnine for some reason, but that's on the list.
Chick McGee
And there are. By the way, there are other scientists.
Josh Arnold
Ernest Borgdein. Tom, you love me.
Christy Lee
I swear to God, jokes are flying.
Chick McGee
Yeah, Reading over there.
Josh Arnold
He's done.
Christy Lee
I mean, we've had six jokes shoot across this room, sir.
Chick McGee
I was preparing over here.
Josh Arnold
He would have spent all morning finding the Michaela Navy theme Arter Forg Dine. But no.
Chick McGee
One of the greatest shows of all time. Are you familiar with them?
Josh Arnold
Welcome back.
Chick McGee
Would you like to earn $5? Sure. What was the number of the PT boat in Mikhail's navy?
Greg Hahn
51.
Chick McGee
Oh, geez. You owe me 20 bucks. Okay. It was all the best. PT 70. You didn't hear the second half of the bat. PT 73. I'll make. Okay, you can win your money back. We'll be even.
Christy Lee
Just say Carl Ballantyne.
Chick McGee
Well, one of the great actors of all time, the great magician, Carl Ballantyne, actually know something.
Christy Lee
Oh, Christ. Oh, my God.
Chick McGee
Just a second now.
Josh Arnold
Something about Carl Ballantine.
Chick McGee
Carl Ballantyne is the closest thing to Greg Hahn in show business.
Christy Lee
Oh, that's not bad.
Chick McGee
Am I right?
Christy Lee
That's not bad. Yeah.
Chick McGee
Carl Ballantyne's delivery, you would love.
Christy Lee
Yeah. You would really appreciate him.
Greg Hahn
Yes, I'll look him up.
Chick McGee
But the larger point here is John F. Kennedy. His PT boat number 71 1.
Christy Lee
Allegedly.
Tom
100 and nine.
Chick McGee
One hundred and nine.
Christy Lee
There's no proof he was actually in the.
Chick McGee
Now you owe me four. Now you owe me $40.
Josh Arnold
That's the way the fairy tale goes.
Tom
$40. How did that go?
Christy Lee
He and John Carrey were drinking up in Canada.
Josh Arnold
That's right. Couldn't get enough.
Chick McGee
Well, that is just as disrespectful.
Christy Lee
It really is.
Chick McGee
If your dad were here, he'd take out his bayonet.
Josh Arnold
Jackie's on my ass.
Chick McGee
Mr. Han, I want to tell you something.
Greg Hahn
Yes.
Chick McGee
We had a news story the other day about JFK's underwear. President Kennedy, they actually sold his underwear at auction. I mean, it's amazing to me the stuff that happens. You read about these sports figures selling crazy stuff. But the former President's underwear from the.
Tom
1940S when he was in the Navy, and it had his name embroidered on the label.
Chick McGee
Jack.
Tom
Jack. Okay, that's rich. You can embroider your underwear.
Greg Hahn
Yeah.
Chick McGee
And by the way, to make it clear it was underwear from the 40s. It wasn't from November 22, 1963. One would assume that underwear was somewhat soiled.
Christy Lee
Your thoughts on all that?
Chick McGee
Did you enjoy that?
Greg Hahn
Yeah, that was good.
Chick McGee
I wanted.
Christy Lee
I'm comfortable.
Greg Hahn
The other topic of our themes are, what is it? The fighting team from the high schools.
Chick McGee
Oh, yeah.
Tom
That was the last hour. Yep.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Greg Hahn
Like when I was. I went to Vegas High School.
Tom
School.
Greg Hahn
The Las Vegas Fighting. Come on, get it back to what this show's about.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Fighting. They be mean, though.
Christy Lee
A lot of scratching.
Chick McGee
Once again, if you went to a high school that had a great mascot or a great name, please, by all means, let us know. Maybe you're a Cobden Apple Knocker or a Poahae Dot or the Hatsboro Horsham Hatters. We'd love to hear from you.
Tom
Speaking of high school.
Christy Lee
Yes.
Tom
A 19 year old Connecticut youth is taking legal action against her former public high school for allegedly failing her by allowing her to graduate with honors when she was basically illiterate. Last June, Alicia Ortiz graduated from Hartford Public High School in Hartford, Connecticut with honors. Even earned a college scholarship, but is now suing her former school for negligent infliction of emotional distress.
Chick McGee
Oh, God.
Tom
The 19 year old is using the public learning institution of neglecting her education, claiming she can barely hold a pencil in her hand and her reading abilities are comparable to a first grader.
Christy Lee
I wonder how this happened.
Tom
How did this happen?
Christy Lee
I mean, you hear about, you know, people, you know, kind of sliding through the cracks, but, man, I mean, this seems insane.
Greg Hahn
If she wins, I'm gonna sue my comedy writing class.
Chick McGee
So she goes through all the way.
Tom
Through school graduates with honors and says.
Chick McGee
She can't read and it's their fault.
Tom
Yeah.
Chick McGee
I say give her a participation trophy and show her where the broom is in the broom closet and tell her to get to work. You got a nice career ahead of you, man. I mean, come on. When do you take any responsibility for yourself? Really? It's ridiculous. I misspelled my own name in the yearbook.
Greg Hahn
Why did they give her all these awards?
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Tom
Yeah, I don't know that. Like I said, there's got to be more to this.
Chick McGee
It's the participation trophy mentality of our culture.
Greg Hahn
But, I mean, that's a high level.
Tom
Yeah, and she got a college scholarship.
Chick McGee
Well, talk to the college. I don't know. You're suing. They must not have a. What they call a vetting process.
Christy Lee
Well, then that's what. That's what her complaint is.
Chick McGee
What?
Christy Lee
That I don't feel like this story was meant for this show.
Tom
I. I agree.
Chick McGee
Well, I just need to know more information. There's something missing from this. Then she. She can't read. She's apparently qualified to go for the Senate at least.
Josh Arnold
Hey, that's simply safe. That's right. Huh? Let me jump in. That's right, Simplisafe. The design it yourself, do it yourself home security system. It's a scary world out there. And you know what gives me peace of mind? My Simplisafe home security system. That's right. I sleep more sound every night. I leave the house with confidence. And we also trust Simplisafe here at the Bob and Tom studios. Traditional security systems only take action after somebody's already broken in. That sounds like. And it is too late. Simply safe hack. Active guard Outdoor protection can help prevent break ins before they happen. They have AI powered cameras backed by live professional monitoring agents that monitor your property and detect suspicious activity if someone's lurking around or acting suspiciously. Agents see and Talk to them in real time, can activate spotlights and even contact the police. All before they have a chance to get inside your home. And there's no long term contract or cancellation fee and monitoring plans that simply save start affordably at around a dollar a day 60 day satisfaction guarantee or your money back. Visit simplisafetom.com to claim 50% off a new system with professional monitoring plan and your first month free. That's simplisafetom.com there's no safe like simply.
Chick McGee
Thank you, Chick Magee. I'm looking. I finally saw. There's a video of this gal. She's very cute. Maybe hooker could be in her future. You don't have to read much.
Christy Lee
There's just nothing we can do.
Tom
No.
Chick McGee
Sorry. Now we have a number of interesting things going on, including the presence of Greg Hahn.
Greg Hahn
Hey. All right.
Chick McGee
The next Visit with Greg. March 13th to the 5th 15th, Waterford, MI @ One Night Stands. Ladies and gentlemen, those will be some great shows.
Josh Arnold
Love it.
Chick McGee
I will remind you that we are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.
Josh Arnold
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. There's Josh Arnold. There's Christy Lee. Hello, Pat Godwin. There's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Hello, tomorrow.
Chick McGee
Hello, Chick McGee. We certainly enjoyed your sports broadcast from the.
Josh Arnold
Okay.
Chick McGee
The orangeinsouls.com sports desk.
Josh Arnold
All righty.
Chick McGee
Always informative. And we have been talking with our guest. It's not gonna play. Our guest, Greg Hahn. Very, very hands. I. I haven't asked you. You're. You're a single guy. What are you, like six? Four?
Greg Hahn
Six, four.
Chick McGee
Solid rock lifter.
Greg Hahn
Piece of gristle. The ghost milk's kicking in.
Chick McGee
Yeah, that's right. Handsome man. Wouldn't you say so, Christy?
Tom
Oh, yeah.
Greg Hahn
Thank you, Christy.
Chick McGee
No handsome battle. You got to be out there with the ladies. You got to.
Greg Hahn
Well, you know, I went on a ship.
Chick McGee
Really?
Greg Hahn
I took a ship gig.
Chick McGee
Oh.
Greg Hahn
Where the girls. You know what I mean? There I was on Queen of the Muck.
Josh Arnold
That's an odd name for a ship.
Greg Hahn
You ever been on a cruise? They got the light system for your cabin.
Christy Lee
Okay? You know what I mean?
Greg Hahn
Green light means my room was fine.
Josh Arnold
Huh?
Greg Hahn
Yellow light means please clean the room. And the red light means plunge your asap.
Josh Arnold
I think that'd be the brown light.
Chick McGee
Very good.
Greg Hahn
Go to the island. You know what I mean?
Josh Arnold
Every time.
Chick McGee
We cruise all the time.
Greg Hahn
You got to fill out the rental snorkel.
Josh Arnold
Paperwork.
Greg Hahn
Like take the snorkel from the rinsed out snorkel stack, then you swim from this sewer pipe to that sewer pipe. Whatever, man. Depending on the country.
Chick McGee
Yes, so. But is there a special lady?
Greg Hahn
Oh, yeah. You kidding me? Non stop. Next question.
Chick McGee
Yeah, because I know you got the penthouse apartment down in. Down.
Greg Hahn
These girls, we get in fights. You know what I mean?
Christy Lee
Oh, boy. Yeah.
Greg Hahn
This one, she's like. You're very delusional. Quite immature. That's no way to talk to Batman.
Josh Arnold
How dare her?
Chick McGee
Now do I understand behind the scene scenes. I. I wasn't paying attention, but apparently I've been told we have a special treat here. Is that possible? I always wanted to play with Greg. He's a phenomenal drummer. But of course, he doesn't have the drums. When I made arrangements to bring in a table.
Greg Hahn
Oh, isn't this nice?
Chick McGee
And some drumsticks.
Josh Arnold
Is that right?
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Greg Hahn
Ready?
Chick McGee
Okay. All right. We're just gonna do like a bar song. Brown Eyed Girl.
Tom
Sure.
Greg Hahn
Have a little bit of fun.
Tom
Okay.
Chick McGee
This is. This is a treat for me.
Greg Hahn
Okay.
Chick McGee
One, two, three, four.
Christy Lee
That's nice.
Chick McGee
Here we go.
Greg Hahn
Hey, where do we go?
Chick McGee
Today is when the rains came. Oh, you missed the solo. Chick playing new game.
Josh Arnold
Oh.
Greg Hahn
Jump in, Simone.
Chick McGee
And foul. Ow.
Greg Hahn
My heart's a thumping you My brown.
Chick McGee
Eye girl.
Greg Hahn
Brown eyed girl Whoa, yeah.
Josh Arnold
Are you back from the bathroom?
Tom
Yeah, yeah.
Chick McGee
Whatever happen Tuesday so slow on my river oh, nice.
Greg Hahn
Everybody standing in that sunlight laughing.
Tom
Bring.
Greg Hahn
It down Slipping in the sliding all.
Chick McGee
Along waterfall.
Greg Hahn
My brown eyed girl we're.
Christy Lee
Getting to the shalas.
Greg Hahn
You my brown.
Josh Arnold
Ey.
Greg Hahn
Do you remember when.
Christy Lee
We used to.
Greg Hahn
Sing.
Chick McGee
Ice Fill.
Christy Lee
Holy.
Chick McGee
Very much.
Christy Lee
Isn't that something?
Chick McGee
Wow. Greg Han on the drums. What kind of drum is that? That's just a coffee table.
Tom
Table.
Greg Hahn
Table drum boy.
Chick McGee
Very nice.
Christy Lee
The last ten minutes of whiplash.
Chick McGee
I certainly appreciate that.
Greg Hahn
I like to use music as a metronome. Song is a metronome to my solo.
Chick McGee
That was great.
Tom
That was wonderful.
Chick McGee
Do you have the. You know, you're in your penthouse apartment. You're in Pompano Beach, Florida, Right?
Greg Hahn
I'm in Pompano Beach, Florida. We got the hoa. We're trying to get the pool fixed before the belly flop contest. I wave at everybody up there. All the boats that go by, I wave at them. If they don't wave back, I give them the finger.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Greg Hahn
You know.
Chick McGee
You've had any ladies up there to see the.
Greg Hahn
Oh, I've had a few girls up there. Oh, yeah. Left and right. Oh, yeah. Little Laney. Lulu's been over there. How you doing, lady?
Josh Arnold
Yeah, yeah.
Chick McGee
Now, I know in your old place, used to walk in and the first thing you'd see was the drum set.
Greg Hahn
That's right.
Chick McGee
Is it still the same, this place?
Greg Hahn
No, I'm gonna get an electric drum set because I don't want to wake up Carol next door.
Christy Lee
Oh, the old power kit.
Greg Hahn
The what?
Christy Lee
Yeah, powered kit.
Greg Hahn
Yeah, the powered kit. Carol next door.
Chick McGee
Thank you, Christy. I was gonna ask you.
Greg Hahn
I don't know. I don't know if she can hear.
Chick McGee
Carol, a hot granny, if you will.
Greg Hahn
Oh, yeah, she's good. They' nice.
Chick McGee
Okay. Okay. Very good. Well, let's now let's go that direction. And we have Christy Lee. She is at the Silac Insurance news desk. Christy.
Tom
Well, we've been talking about Greg's current girlfriends. I'm sure you're friends with some ex girlfriends, right?
Greg Hahn
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Tom
Ex wives, right?
Christy Lee
Nope.
Chick McGee
They'll hit me.
Tom
Well, a woman claims to be so close to her ex husband's new wife that they even do each other's cosmetic waxing. That's right. Haley Neal has been married to Josh Braswell for six years before they decided to split and co parent their three children as friends.
Christy Lee
Okay.
Tom
They have since married new partners with Ms. Neal saying she now considers her ex wife's Morgan her ex husband's wife. Morgan her best friend. That's awkward almost daily. And Mrs. Braswell even waxes Ms. Neal.
Christy Lee
That's wild.
Tom
That is crazy.
Chick McGee
Yeah. I haven't seen any pictures. Are they waxing her back?
Tom
They acknowledged she has a hairy back.
Josh Arnold
Is that what you're trying to.
Chick McGee
I don't know.
Tom
Not only do they have a similar style, but they also look alike.
Chick McGee
They do. Oh, my God.
Tom
Here's a thinking that Mr. Braswell must have a type.
Chick McGee
Ah. They could be sisters. They're almost twins.
Tom
Oh.
Chick McGee
The distinction is this one has a larger nose and larger robes.
Tom
But I mean, the second one, I.
Chick McGee
Don'T know which, I'm not sure which is. Josh, you want to come here and validate me on this one? Yeah, I. He's getting some exercise today. I mean, yes or no? Okay.
Tom
Yeah, yeah.
Chick McGee
Oh, yeah. They're both. They're both very, very pretty. That would be very awkward, I think. You know, don't you think, Christy?
Christy Lee
No, I think it's great.
Tom
I think it's great.
Christy Lee
But the waxing thing is.
Tom
Yeah, that's weird.
Christy Lee
Would you ever do that with a friend, Christy?
Tom
No.
Christy Lee
Yeah, that seems very odd.
Tom
Doesn't have to be an ex husband's wife either. Just anything.
Christy Lee
Exactly.
Tom
No.
Chick McGee
Now, I don't know if you know this. Greg Hahn. Josh here has repeatedly been waxed.
Josh Arnold
What?
Chick McGee
The. The hair removal treatment.
Christy Lee
I have had that done a few times. Yes.
Greg Hahn
Okay.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Do you remember what that's called?
Chick McGee
Depilatory.
Josh Arnold
Nope.
Chick McGee
Something.
Greg Hahn
Oh, you bored?
Chick McGee
What's it called?
Tom
The Brazilian?
Chick McGee
The baboon.
Josh Arnold
The baboon.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Christy Lee
I got the full baboon, they called it.
Chick McGee
And describe what that is.
Christy Lee
It's all the pubes below the belt.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Christy Lee
Yeah, everything.
Greg Hahn
You know, you could go to Dunkin Donuts or go someplace and have a donut or do something. You could do. You don't have to do that.
Chick McGee
I learned that when they go.
Greg Hahn
You could take a walk.
Chick McGee
Yeah. I have a question.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Chick McGee
So let's just. I'll do it in a geographic. Man. So they start at the belly button and go south. I mean, then they go around the corner. Then do they end up going north on the backside?
Christy Lee
That's. That's. I. I didn't follow you. So it's. Yeah, no, they do the front and the back and the taint and the ass cheeks.
Chick McGee
And the b. The bh.
Christy Lee
They get close to the BH turned on, right? Yeah. But the BH itself isn't hairy.
Chick McGee
Yours?
Josh Arnold
Your actual bh, or just some stray.
Chick McGee
Few little ones down there? Yeah.
Greg Hahn
So how'd you like walking out of that place? Did you have a little spring in your step?
Christy Lee
I liked it. Yeah. But I. I was eventually gifted a. A tool that I can do it myself. I don't need to do the waxing anymore. Yeah.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Christy Lee
Because I would. It hurt. It's painful. I recommend it, but it does hurt.
Chick McGee
I see. I see. Now, let me remind you that you are joining us here on the Bob and Tom Show. We are coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Our guest, a comedian, Greg Hahn. Very handsome man over there.
Greg Hahn
Okay.
Chick McGee
Just played the show. It's good to see you.
Christy Lee
Wild show.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Greg Hahn
Okay, set your bidet on stun.
Chick McGee
Now, are you aware that Josh Arnold also has an aftermarket bidet attached to his toilet?
Greg Hahn
Is that right? Right.
Christy Lee
Clearly, I'm a man who keeps things clean and in order down there.
Josh Arnold
Don't you know you could go to a Dunkin Donuts.
Greg Hahn
My bidet is attached to the dishwasher. All you have to do is hover over the sink.
Chick McGee
Problem solved. And I always ask the same question, but I can't remember the answer to get it up to temperature. Do you have to close the lid, turn it on, get it flowing, and then sit down.
Christy Lee
No, it's. It's already there.
Chick McGee
It's. So it's heated. Yeah, that's.
Christy Lee
The seat is heated.
Tom
I'm surprised you don't have this in your fan.
Chick McGee
No, no, no.
Tom
I see you. I'm old, right?
Chick McGee
I like.
Josh Arnold
I'm old fashioned.
Chick McGee
The old fashioned guy. Yeah.
Christy Lee
It doesn't eliminate wiping, but it assists, certainly.
Chick McGee
I see, I see, I see.
Tom
Wipe first, then bidet or bidet first, then wipe.
Christy Lee
You know, I've, I recently changed. It used to be bidet, then wipe, now it's wipe.
Chick McGee
I want to change the channel and I'm in here.
Josh Arnold
And then you let. You just aired.
Tom
That's a fair question.
Christy Lee
It's a very fair question.
Chick McGee
And it has.
Christy Lee
Yes, Chicken has a fan.
Josh Arnold
Oh, okay. It has a fan.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Chick McGee
You know what's going to happen one day? They're going to find him dead. Well, he bled. Bled to death from his testicle. The fan's going to kill him. The coroner thinks that the fan short circuited and he was electrocuted from the balls up.
Christy Lee
It's more of a dryer. It's. Yeah, the blades are. No, of course. No.
Chick McGee
What Greg and I like to do is we like to go get wax, then take our pants off, go to a bowling alley and stand over that thing.
Tom
You go to Dunkin Donuts, the hand dryer.
Chick McGee
Have you. They still have the fans at the bowling alley?
Tom
Absolutely. Of course they do.
Chick McGee
I just went bowling in Colorado. But they didn't have the fans on those alleyways.
Christy Lee
Cheaper places, I think they have to in order for those to work.
Josh Arnold
I think, I think all bowling balls are. They have to have.
Chick McGee
Oh, maybe.
Christy Lee
Unless a man was. It was like an old school bowling alley where the guy just rolled it back to you. The pin setter.
Josh Arnold
Did they have. Did they have automatic pin settings?
Greg Hahn
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Christy Lee
And there was a fan.
Chick McGee
The fan over the. I didn't see because I used to do the gag where you straddle it and go.
Christy Lee
Ah, Marilyn, the seven year itch.
Chick McGee
Yeah, the seven inch itch.
Josh Arnold
He called that a gag.
Tom
Aren't you glad we don't have to be seen in public with him?
Chick McGee
So sorry. I do wax each other. Okay.
Greg Hahn
What about fragrances? In your place. Speaking about my condo candles, I'm into fragrances.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, yeah.
Greg Hahn
You ever got a plug in you didn't like? You want to sell your house immediately? No, I got the hotel collection. You ever got that?
Tom
No.
Greg Hahn
Smells like the Waldorf Astoria.
Chick McGee
Sure.
Greg Hahn
And they throw in a red roof in. Jason said to do 17 new jokes. I'm going through them all.
Josh Arnold
Wow.
Christy Lee
By my count, you're at 13. You better. Patience.
Chick McGee
That's solid. That is a solid joke. I like that very much.
Greg Hahn
Thank you.
Chick McGee
Yeah. But I don't use the electric ones. I.
Tom
No. Do you burn candles?
Chick McGee
Yeah. Yeah. Very dangerous town. I know. I get why.
Greg Hahn
Why is that dangerous?
Chick McGee
Burn the house down.
Greg Hahn
Oh, okay. Good point.
Chick McGee
I was talking to a friend of mine, he's a fireman.
Greg Hahn
Yeah.
Chick McGee
And I said, I just was reading this article. Used to be the number one cause of house fires was cigarette smoking. Now I hear it's candles. He goes, not in my district. It's arson. And he wasn't kidding. Well, you know, time to rebuild the house. Set it on fire. Christy Lee, I can see her over there. She's at the Silenc Insurance news desk. What's happening?
Tom
Missouri man has been charged with attempting to engage in a sexual act act with a train seat.
Christy Lee
Nothing wrong with this.
Tom
It's the second time in a year he's been charged with this offense. He obviously has a type. Kmov reports the suspect was first spotted touching his exposed genitals.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Tom
At the UMSL South Platform, St. Louis County Police learned the man had boarded a train where he allegedly exposed himself and attempted a sexual act for a about 10 minutes.
Chick McGee
10 minutes.
Tom
With the upper bar of the train seat.
Chick McGee
Wait a minute.
Tom
I don't really understand.
Chick McGee
Oh, I know. Yeah, yeah. It's the train seats. Probably like a bench and there's that bar on top. Yeah.
Christy Lee
Especially if it's the Metrolink, which is the above ground subway in St. Louis.
Chick McGee
Wow.
Tom
Okay.
Christy Lee
This was in St. Louis, I'm assuming?
Tom
Yes, it was. He was charged with two counts of misdemeanor sexual misconduct. The charges come about 10 weeks after the man was released from the county jail. Jail. For attempting to engage in sexual activity with a seat on a Metrolink train.
Chick McGee
He's got a one track mind.
Christy Lee
He sure does.
Josh Arnold
Exactly right.
Christy Lee
He was there just hopping the seat, going, I think I can.
Chick McGee
He was trying to get off between stops.
Christy Lee
He sure was.
Chick McGee
There you go.
Christy Lee
Riding the old Ram.
Chick McGee
I think we have to look at the other side of this. I blame the trains for being so sexy.
Christy Lee
They wouldn't look that way if they didn't want to be humped.
Chick McGee
Yeah, yeah. That's. It's their fault. Yeah. That train. Have you been on that train, Joshi?
Christy Lee
The Metrolink? I have, yes. I couldn't hate it more.
Chick McGee
Let's face it masturbating. That's bus behavior, right? You know what I'm talking about, Pat. You took a bus across the country.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
That is bus behavior. You're told Mr. Hahn that great story. I don't think so.
Greg Hahn
I don't think I have. Take it from the top.
Chick McGee
Start at. Start as a young man with a guitar. Well, I was a young man with a guitar.
Christy Lee
The Metrolink in St. Louis has all the. Has none of the charm or enjoyment of a New York City supper.
Tom
That says a lot. It's underground.
Chick McGee
No, it's above the Discovery. Think about. Then someone else gets on the train and they have to. You touch stuff on a bus or a train and I just assume anything that looks like it is probably spooge on any kind of public transportation.
Tom
Really? That's what you think?
Christy Lee
Yeah, I have no doubt that that's what he thinks.
Chick McGee
This is why when I travel, I carry a little squirter thing of hand lotion and sanitizer which also looks like jizz. Yeah.
Christy Lee
So just so from now on, just imagine that it's all hand sanitizer. Sanitizer.
Chick McGee
Are we saying these words?
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Tom
Yes.
Josh Arnold
You really carry that around with you?
Chick McGee
Yeah. The little swirler thing. Absolutely.
Josh Arnold
No kidding.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Okay.
Chick McGee
When you get.
Tom
You really think that helps?
Chick McGee
When you get on an airplane, don't you wipe down that. All the stuff in front of you.
Christy Lee
That's an insane thing.
Tom
No, I don't.
Chick McGee
No, they've tested those. Those. Those pockets in back. The seat in front of you. The back pocket in there.
Christy Lee
That's why I don't fill it with soup.
Chick McGee
The whole world is dirty. I mean, you get used to it. Right?
Tom
Right. You need.
Chick McGee
You're supposed to take. You fill it with soup. You take a lake and you put it into a bowl, you idiot.
Tom
Germs in your body.
Josh Arnold
Tom, what are we doing? Yes, I do the same thing. Tom, that's weird.
Chick McGee
Okay. You don't wipe down the. You take a couple of nap.
Greg Hahn
Oh yeah, because everybody's wiping them down. So you can just sit down and relax.
Chick McGee
No, I do it. Oh no, the guy in front.
Josh Arnold
You wipe them down and then you put in your Raycon earbuds, don't you?
Chick McGee
I do.
Josh Arnold
That's exactly right. And Raycons now have been. Are new and improved. They have active noise cancellation capable of drowning out the most maddening sounds like those birds chirping away in the got springs here. And Raycon's latest model is better than ever. A 32 hour battery life and multi point connectivity. Lets you pair with two devices at once and Raycon Start about half the price of other premium audio brands with similar features. Raycon's Everyday earbuds come in a spectrum of vibrant colors and if you don't love them, they have a 30 day happiness guarantee return policy. Go to buyraycon.com tom get 20% off the best selling everyday earbuds buds. That's raycon. Go to buyraycon.com Tom speaking of things.
Chick McGee
You want to go to, you want to go to see the Great Greg Han, March 13th through the 15th, Waterford, Michigan @ the famous one night stands. S T A N apostrophe S One night stands and you ever had a one night stand?
Greg Hahn
Me all the ass.
Chick McGee
So sorry, we have a lot to get to. I'm very excited about it. Coming up, Christy Lee, what have you got over there?
Tom
Coming up, we have a scorpion at an airport. We have a hiker who lived on toothpaste for. And then we have. We never got to our Megalodon. Oh, our Megalodon fish.
Chick McGee
Megalodon fish. For real, Josh.
Christy Lee
Megalodons did exist.
Chick McGee
Okay, okay, we're getting to it. It's all coming up. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is is the Bob and Tom Show.
Greg Hahn
Thanks for listening to the Bob and.
Chick McGee
Tom show this morning. Catch any part of the show you missed later today on our YouTube channel? Interrupted me and I can't.
Josh Arnold
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. There's Tom and Josh. Ace Christy, Pat's here and Tom, we have a special guest here in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio.
Chick McGee
Oh, the handsome factor. Way up in this room, it's Greg Hahn.
Greg Hahn
Hey, now, when you're on a date. Yes, Right. If it's a nice restaurant, the waiter's gonna come up and say, be careful, the plate is hot. I say, so is my date, but I'm gonna touch her. Yes. You'll never see her again.
Chick McGee
Oh, thank you very much. That makes me feel so good. Now we are kind of reconfiguring the show, moving some stuff around and time now for today in history. Ladies and gentlemen, it's a big day.
Josh Arnold
March five. Number five.
Christy Lee
Number five is alive, of course, every.
Chick McGee
Year famous for Ash Wednesday, March 5th. No, no, no, they do it.
Josh Arnold
I think Tom's right. Every day.
Chick McGee
Very confusing for the, the kids. How come it's Ash Wednesday and a Sunday? It's March 5th. Shut up.
Josh Arnold
Never mind, punk, it's religion, okay?
Chick McGee
We can't explain this stuff, okay? I asked everyone to get A pencil out or a pen?
Tom
Yes.
Chick McGee
All right, ready?
Christy Lee
I have a pen because I'm a confident man.
Chick McGee
Okay, good. I'm gonna spell this guy's first name. M O, M O, F U K, U. Mm. Okay. Anyone want to try to pronounce that?
Christy Lee
Momo. Fuku.
Josh Arnold
Fuku or Foku?
Chick McGee
Momofuku. Ando. A N, D, O. It's his birthday today. Anyone know who this is?
Christy Lee
The creator of Pac Man Close.
Chick McGee
Oh, the creator of instant noodles.
Christy Lee
Ah, yes. Oh, he recently died.
Josh Arnold
Oh, cup of noodle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right.
Chick McGee
And apparently the heir to the sodium fortune.
Tom
They are salty boy.
Chick McGee
Doesn't. When you look at the word momofuku, if you look at it quickly, it looks like one of those porno categories.
Christy Lee
And the winner this year of the.
Chick McGee
Momofuku award, the step Momofuku.
Christy Lee
Apparently that is weirdly popular. Yes, very.
Chick McGee
Remember we had that article saying that was like the most popular category.
Christy Lee
Stepparent or something?
Chick McGee
That is really, really sick.
Christy Lee
It's troubling you.
Chick McGee
Oh, gosh.
Christy Lee
And so hot.
Chick McGee
Happy birthday. Born in 1955. The great Penn Jillette. Magician.
Josh Arnold
He's the tall one.
Chick McGee
Writer. Bass player, actually, also. Oh, pencilette. We're hoping to get him in here.
Josh Arnold
Free throw shooter.
Chick McGee
Oh, that's Art Garfunkel.
Christy Lee
He's a really interesting guy.
Chick McGee
Oh, yeah. Atheist.
Josh Arnold
Right.
Chick McGee
He will not be getting ash ashes today.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Happy birthday, Eva Mendez.
Tom
Oh, yeah. She's beautiful.
Christy Lee
Oh, yeah.
Tom
She married to Ryan Gosling.
Chick McGee
She's indeed.
Tom
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Now, on this date in 1960, Elvis Presley did what? Pat Godwin.
Tom
On what?
Chick McGee
19 6.
Christy Lee
I'm gonna say Priscilla joined the army.
Chick McGee
Join the army. He. He ended his two year stint in the army. Ah, of course. What was the famous John Lennon quote?
Christy Lee
Ouch. I've been shot.
Chick McGee
When Elvis. We'll just. We'll just leave it right there and I'll forget that I ever said anything, you know?
Christy Lee
I mean, this Josh, such a wit.
Chick McGee
And you got mad at me earlier today.
Josh Arnold
I've never been shot. But you think. You say ouch, maybe or.
Chick McGee
I don't know.
Tom
Do you think you probably. Well, I don't know. I don't want to.
Christy Lee
I better burn.
Chick McGee
When he was told that Elvis died, he said Elvis died the day he went in the army. Now, let's see. We have Arthur Spud Melon did something famous on this day in 1963. Anybody?
Tom
Arthur Spud Mealman?
Christy Lee
No, I don't know.
Chick McGee
He.
Josh Arnold
He's part of the Sputnik satellite.
Chick McGee
Very fair. No, he patented the Hula hoop.
Christy Lee
Oh.
Tom
Oh, yeah. I heard heard that this morning.
Christy Lee
Me, I want a hula hoop.
Chick McGee
Me, I want.
Greg Hahn
Who invented the Yo Yo Duncan. Was that right?
Tom
I don't know.
Josh Arnold
Artie Duncan.
Chick McGee
I wonder.
Tom
I don't know.
Greg Hahn
I don't know.
Chick McGee
Is that the most famous? The dunk.
Tom
The Duncan Duncan yo yos, Right?
Josh Arnold
I wonder who wrote the book of love.
Christy Lee
I don't. Tell me, tell me. Who is that?
Chick McGee
No, there's currently the. The documentary on out there. The documentary about Led Zeppelin.
Greg Hahn
Is that out now?
Chick McGee
Yes, it just came out. What's Is it? What? Finding Led Zeppelin.
Christy Lee
Becoming.
Chick McGee
Becoming led Zeppelin. In 1971, this was the first time on this date that they ever played Stairway to Heaven.
Christy Lee
Wow.
Greg Hahn
I saw Jason Bonham in concert.
Christy Lee
Is that right?
Chick McGee
He's great.
Greg Hahn
I saw him in the airport. I said, unbelievable. Concert, concert. He said, thank you. Well, how nice. What an exchange.
Chick McGee
Did you tell him that you are also a drummer?
Greg Hahn
If I started talking, he'd look at me like, when's that noise gonna stop coming out of your face?
Christy Lee
I saw him at the airport too. He was having a sandwich at a Bonham Pain.
Greg Hahn
Really, guys?
Christy Lee
Remember Aubon pain?
Tom
Yeah, we do.
Chick McGee
I don't.
Tom
We do.
Chick McGee
Help me.
Tom
Obon pain?
Josh Arnold
Is that how you say that?
Tom
Yes, it's a.
Christy Lee
It was a sandwich.
Tom
Little place in the airports. They're still around.
Greg Hahn
He was very snooty when he said thank you to me. I enjoyed it.
Christy Lee
Oh, not when I saw him. Very kind. Yeah, yeah.
Josh Arnold
Say it one more time.
Greg Hahn
I see him again, I love the show. His kid was good too. All right, back to your joke, Josh.
Christy Lee
No, no, please.
Greg Hahn
No.
Chick McGee
There was no joke on this date in 19. Excuse me. In 2000. 2015. And I believe it was a Wednesday. I think you wore a light coat. Harrison Ford crashed his plane onto a golf course. Right. Since it was a Wednesday. There were a bunch of doctors there.
Josh Arnold
It was Wednesday.
Chick McGee
Is that still a thing?
Josh Arnold
Doctors playing golf on Wednesdays?
Greg Hahn
I don't know about Harrison Ford. He's still a thing. Thing.
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah.
Chick McGee
Oh, he's great. Yeah.
Tom
He had shingles. He couldn't do the Academy Awards. He was present.
Josh Arnold
He's doing good actor. He's the red. He's the red Hulk, right?
Christy Lee
He's a great actor.
Greg Hahn
He is.
Christy Lee
I think so. You don't care for Indiana Jones?
Greg Hahn
Well, maybe he's great. Maybe. I don't know. Talent. But to me, he just always looks confused.
Josh Arnold
Well, that's his thing, man.
Greg Hahn
Really?
Josh Arnold
Yes. Being confused, huh?
Christy Lee
It's my method.
Chick McGee
He's shrinking. I like that.
Tom
Oh, he is.
Christy Lee
Well, you get older. Oh, you mean he's in.
Chick McGee
I see the show is called and I'm on Fire. Yeah.
Christy Lee
You know what used to be good about this is this used to be at the end of the show, I could tell these lame jokes and leave. Now we gotta sit here with them.
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah.
Chick McGee
Now you get to suffer.
Josh Arnold
This is no good.
Chick McGee
Well, then that. There you go. There's your day in history. You're welcome.
Josh Arnold
There you go.
Chick McGee
That's a good way to wrap it up.
Josh Arnold
There you go.
Chick McGee
I got something. What more can I say?
Josh Arnold
There you go.
Chick McGee
No.
Tom
Oh, you'll find some.
Chick McGee
Well, no, no, I'm not going to find anything. I'm going to tell you something, though.
Josh Arnold
Oh, tell me something.
Chick McGee
I'm going to tell you real quick that we're going to be on the road and Major League Baseball opening day Cincinnati Reds will be at Smoke Justice, Covington, Ky. Part of greater Cincinnati, technically, live from 6 to 10 that day, brought to you by Field of Dreams Whiskey Company. We'll have a special T shirt we're going to be selling and giving the money to the children's hospital. Then the next day, Toledo, Ohio, is our spot. We're going to be doing the show in honor of the Mud Hens, the legendary Toledo Mud Hens. And we'll be. You can come see us. We'll be at the Glass City center, downtown Toledo. Hope to see you there. We'll have a shirt there and we're going to donate the proceeds to the great Ronald McDonald's house. So it's going to be a lot of fun. There will be posters, there will be love, there will be signing. There will be bitching about the signing.
Josh Arnold
You know, Toledo's playing Columbus that day.
Christy Lee
Oh, really?
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah.
Christy Lee
This is going to be a little tough.
Josh Arnold
I'll be conflicted. Yeah, I'm a big Clippers fan.
Chick McGee
Okay, good. We'll find out all these things. Right now I want to say one thing, two things. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios.
Josh Arnold
That's one.
Chick McGee
This is the Bob and Tom Show. Just got to get a hold of us.
Josh Arnold
Call fax, mail or email.
Chick McGee
Get all the contact information you need at bob and tom.com.
Greg Hahn
This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Chick McGee
Number blocked.
Josh Arnold
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. There's Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk. There's Pat Godwin.
Greg Hahn
Hey, Chick.
Josh Arnold
There's Josh Arnold.
Christy Lee
Chick, how are you?
Josh Arnold
There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick McGee, we're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Hello. Tom, look who, look who. We got a special guest.
Chick McGee
It's comedian Greg Hahn again.
Greg Hahn
I can't wait.
Chick McGee
The high school you went to was.
Greg Hahn
Called the Cardinal Gibbons Redskins. The Las Vegas Fighting a horse. I'm gonna get married one of these days, though. I was talking to Christy about that.
Tom
Yeah, we were talking off the air. How many girlfriend she got?
Greg Hahn
Listen, I want to get married for better or for much, much, much, much, much worse. Thanks, Josh. You got to keep the girls organized, that's how.
Christy Lee
My phone.
Greg Hahn
My phone message, you know.
Christy Lee
Oh.
Greg Hahn
Oh, yeah. This is Lisa, press 1. Tiffany, press 2. Dominica Marque Ocho.
Chick McGee
I want to go back in time. Minute and a half. Yeah. You were a member of. What was it? Cardinal who?
Greg Hahn
Cardinal Gibbons Redskins.
Chick McGee
Cardinal Gibbons Redskins. That was your. The team. So we were talking about unusual high school mascot names, which I think is very exciting. I'm the only one that does. The Cobden Apple Knockers. That's real.
Josh Arnold
The employee. Remember the Water Smith Nimrods? Yes, that used to be. I think ESPN did a whole campaign about them.
Christy Lee
Wow.
Josh Arnold
Go Nimrods.
Greg Hahn
Or that's funny.
Chick McGee
The Hoopston Corn Jerkers. I like that. These are real names. But I asked people to send us the names of theirs. Oh, Josh, you were. What were you? Jock?
Christy Lee
Yeah, we were just. The Falcons.
Greg Hahn
Nice.
Christy Lee
Yeah. Nothing.
Tom
That was my junior high team, the Falcon.
Christy Lee
Nothing list worthy. Yeah.
Chick McGee
How about this one? Readable. The Freeport, Illinois Pretzels.
Christy Lee
Oh, yeah, that's. That's unusual, isn't it?
Josh Arnold
Must be a pretzel factory. Okay, now, when you remember this.
Christy Lee
Oh, thank you. Oh, he thinks he's punishing us.
Greg Hahn
It must be Christmas.
Christy Lee
We win.
Tom
What a weird day.
Chick McGee
Fine.
Josh Arnold
Well, you know, the Water Speed Nimrods are in the up in Michigan. Did you know that, Tom?
Chick McGee
Oh, yeah. I will read these tomorrow morning when.
Christy Lee
Maybe doing a 3:30.
Tom
Take them home. Read them before bed.
Josh Arnold
Christie, you'll go to sleep.
Greg Hahn
All right.
Josh Arnold
Mishawaka High School. The Mishawaka Cave Cavemen. How about that?
Greg Hahn
That's good.
Josh Arnold
And the girl sports teams. The Lady Cavemen.
Chick McGee
All right.
Greg Hahn
That's funny.
Josh Arnold
Lady.
Chick McGee
As opposed to the cave women.
Josh Arnold
Cavemen. That's what it says.
Chick McGee
Oh, that's odd.
Josh Arnold
And if that doesn't rate a list, I don't know what I mean.
Chick McGee
Isn't that weird?
Tom
It is kind of weird.
Chick McGee
The lady men.
Tom
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Well, did you ever refer to the woman's anatomy as a lady?
Josh Arnold
I'm so dismayed. That I know exactly what you're talking.
Chick McGee
I don't.
Tom
Good.
Chick McGee
You know, the fellows would have. Okay, never mind.
Greg Hahn
I would like. I would like to play for the Argentinian Dogos. Right? Their favorite food is Pitbull.
Chick McGee
Okay. Williamsport, Pennsylvania. This is near where you lived, Pat Close. Williamsport, Pennsylvania.
Christy Lee
Same state.
Chick McGee
Three hours away with. With you driving. We were once the lumber capital of the world. Writes James. Took the time and trouble to write.
Christy Lee
Boy.
Chick McGee
Most millionaires per capita in the late 1800s were called the Williams Point millionaires by the way that sailed. Apparently not a lot of millionaires. I'm sure there are a handful of them. Someone's got to own everything. Well, we'll continue with this never when.
Christy Lee
The word is never.
Greg Hahn
You ripped up the list.
Chick McGee
You have a second list? I got dust stack.
Josh Arnold
I don't think. I don't think he actually tore up the list.
Chick McGee
That was just one letter.
Christy Lee
It may have been my paycheck.
Chick McGee
That piece of paper was far too lanky.
Josh Arnold
I think what Josh is trying to say is he possibly speaking for all of us in our confusion that if any of us would bring in high school nicknames and want to talk about.
Chick McGee
As long as they're unusual. I mean.
Christy Lee
But that's the thing.
Chick McGee
I get upset, for example, when they have an opportunity to name something with a great name. Like the Washington Redskins became the Washington Commanders when they had a great opportunity to. To honor a special unit. The. Never mind. It's.
Greg Hahn
Yeah, you're right.
Chick McGee
It's. Everything is so generic. It's nice when some a town goes, hey, this is who we are. We're the Hoopston Corn Jerkers.
Christy Lee
Right.
Chick McGee
Or the Key West Fighting Conchs.
Christy Lee
But we can only. I mean they all elicit the same response. Oh yeah, that's.
Tom
That's different.
Josh Arnold
You know what I mean? Okay, Josh, I thought those are words.
Christy Lee
Yeah, yeah, that's a pet.
Chick McGee
Be careful. Paybacks. If you want to hear the sounds of silence. And I don't mean the song. Get out your guitar.
Josh Arnold
All right.
Chick McGee
You'll like this one, Josh. I thought you'd like the pretzels. Why?
Christy Lee
Because I like pretzels.
Chick McGee
I love pretzels.
Christy Lee
I do too.
Josh Arnold
Everybody likes those.
Chick McGee
Those pretzel flavored hot dog buns. That guy should have gotten the Nobel Prize. Maybe it was a lady. I'm not sure. How about this one? The Monroe Wisconsin cheese. Cheese makers. You like the cheese makers?
Christy Lee
Again, like it's. It's. Oh, yeah, that's. That's really interesting. I mean. All right, you know. Oh, that's a. That's an odd. Must be something local.
Chick McGee
There we go. I got another one for you.
Christy Lee
We can only respond.
Chick McGee
I know what your response to this.
Christy Lee
Is going to be.
Chick McGee
I guarantee you will do this joke.
Christy Lee
All right.
Chick McGee
In my head, I wish I could write it down. Good morning, radio royalty. Once again, they wrote the wrong show. Tony writes my high school mascot, the Briar Jumpers. Somerset, Kentucky. Any thoughts on this?
Greg Hahn
What is that?
Tom
A briar is a briar patch. Is that thistles?
Chick McGee
Is it like it's a rabbit?
Christy Lee
Sure.
Chick McGee
The briar patch, the jumpers, the briar.
Christy Lee
Rabbit, or whatever the hell Josh.
Chick McGee
Some of you were gonna say. If you read one more of those, I am going to jump off of a large bridge into a cold river.
Christy Lee
You don't want to know how pretentious the joke was. That popped in into my head when you said, where is he from?
Chick McGee
Somerset, Kentucky.
Christy Lee
W. Somerset, Kentucky.
Chick McGee
Oh, a Somerset mom joke. That is. That is.
Christy Lee
That's for no one.
Chick McGee
I love that. There might be an English teacher out there going, finally, huh? Finally someone's read it. Yeah, okay. So sorry. Let's. We can go that direction or this direction. You want to go that way or do you want to go to Mr. Han.
Christy Lee
Han. Hannah.
Greg Hahn
What? What?
Christy Lee
What do you want?
Chick McGee
Five minutes, baby.
Greg Hahn
Hey, man, you could you go to clear? Use the clear when you travel Pat Clear in the airport. You know what I mean?
Chick McGee
Clear. Come on.
Greg Hahn
Where they. You get to skip the line?
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah, of course.
Greg Hahn
And they diagnose you with pink eye. Yeah.
Christy Lee
Oh, I know.
Greg Hahn
You go.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Greg Hahn
Fifteen. Jason.
Chick McGee
Okay, two more to go. I look at the clock and I go. We have time to check in with Christy Lee? Because I can see her right over there. She is at the Silac Insurance news desk.
Tom
A young hiker in China survived getting lost on a traffic treacherous mountain trail by eating toothpaste. The 18 year old hiker was rescued after surviving 10 days in the frigid mountains of northwestern China.
Christy Lee
Was he able to crest the mountain?
Chick McGee
Oh, nice.
Christy Lee
I got a thumbs down from our producer.
Chick McGee
That's a good joke, Josh. You deserve a plaque or at least.
Greg Hahn
A poster or a T shirt.
Chick McGee
Black.
Christy Lee
Nice.
Chick McGee
Anybody? Nice tag.
Tom
Stranded without food. Sun Yang Sun Liang relied on river water, melted snow and ate toothpaste. How old is he survive? He was 18 years. 18.
Chick McGee
That's impressive. A teenager packed toothpaste. Right. There is a headline.
Tom
The Aotai Line. The Aotai Line. Trail mind your phrase is banned by Chinese authorities due to how dangerous it is in the past two decades, more than 50 hikers have been reported missing or perished along this treacherous trail.
Chick McGee
Yeah, maybe a sign. Hey, there's 50 dead people.
Tom
The rescue operation go here involved more than 30 team members and inquiry incurred a cost of $11,000 to his family. But they were happy.
Christy Lee
Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chick McGee
I think they should do that. When this. These people do they go on these crazy expeditions and get lost?
Tom
I think they have started doing that, haven't they started charging people better give.
Chick McGee
Them insurance or instructions how not to get lost by yourself on a treasure. Probably would think. Do you think the toothpaste really helped?
Tom
I don't know.
Chick McGee
Is there any nutrition value?
Tom
And it's Chinese toothpaste. Who knows what's in there.
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah, they're probably fish or something.
Chick McGee
Probably tobacco. Knowing the Chinese, a lot of smokers, you see. Oh, yes. Crack open a book, learn about other cultures.
Josh Arnold
Could you make a salad out of tobacco? Tobacco leaves?
Chick McGee
Sure.
Josh Arnold
I. I guess you could, right?
Chick McGee
Probably would taste awful.
Josh Arnold
Well, put enough ranch dressing on it.
Christy Lee
Oh, sure. Some shredded cheddar, maybe a hard boiled egg.
Greg Hahn
Pretty good. That sounds pretty nice.
Chick McGee
Would you spit?
Greg Hahn
What?
Christy Lee
Well, you swallow, if you really care.
Chick McGee
Oh, you'd swallow the tobacco leaf. Oh, I understand. The bj. I got it, Josh. Sometimes I trip over the low bar.
Christy Lee
You know, you use the low bar low and long enough, you don't trip over it anymore.
Josh Arnold
It's prize Picks, Tom. Let me tell you about it.
Chick McGee
I'm a big fan.
Josh Arnold
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Chick McGee
Thank you very much. Prize picks coming up, Mr. Hahn on the road. Don't forget about this. If you're anywhere near Waterford, Michigan. One night stands. Stan is the man. That's March 13th through the 15th to see Mr. Hahn. Go see him in person. If that doesn't bring some joy to your life, something's wrong with you. The man is that much of a bringer of joyfulness, is that correct?
Greg Hahn
I've been doing my sense of humor routine.
Chick McGee
Okay. Discussing the nature of comedy and humor, which was just exhibited in reverse in the last 30 seconds. Seconds. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Josh Arnold
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee is here.
Tom
Hello.
Josh Arnold
Jessica Osman joins us. There's Josh Arnold.
Christy Lee
Hi there.
Josh Arnold
Ace Cosby. I'm Chick mcgee. Hello, Tom. And we've got a special guest for today and. And the the love edition of the Bob and Tom Show.
Chick McGee
That's right. He is Mr. Greg Hahn, one of my favorite human beings.
Greg Hahn
Oh, nice.
Chick McGee
A joyful man with one of the finest acts in international comedy. I say that because you were in Europe not too long ago.
Greg Hahn
I'm a young man on the up.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Greg Hahn
Delusional. I'm in show business. He's working. I always ask you, you know, when you start off with comedy, what's your point of view? My point of view of view is this beats working point of view. Ridiculous.
Chick McGee
Back on the road. We'll get some of that information out shortly. But right now, Mr. Han, at this hour, typically on this day, we do something we call. Never have so many. Sorry. We do something we call sexy time. And typically we have our host, Ali Breen.
Greg Hahn
Right, Right.
Chick McGee
But she's not available today, so she has forwarded us a number of letters that we're going to kind of go around the horn and read.
Greg Hahn
Okay.
Chick McGee
And this is where we try to help people with their love lives. And Christy Lee is going to begin. I have not seen these letters, so go ahead.
Greg Hahn
I love this. I love it.
Tom
Dear Ally, my boyfriend is always buying me lingerie and setting up baths and sexual situations and acts like he's being super romantic and going over the top for me.
Chick McGee
Huh.
Tom
But I'd rather not have a whole costume ritual party round sex. I told him that and he said everything he does is just to make me happy. And he hasn't stopped. So he's clearly doing this for him, Right? Or does he think I really want this even though I said I don't?
Josh Arnold
What an awful bastard this guy is.
Greg Hahn
Yeah. Get a new girlfriend immediately.
Chick McGee
Good lord.
Josh Arnold
Next thing you know, he'll take you on a vacation somewhere hot and Sweaty. You don't want any.
Greg Hahn
Island.
Chick McGee
Yeah. I've learned from listening to Josh that. Yeah, am I right, Josh? That you're gonna say this guy, this is for him. He wants this.
Christy Lee
No, I'm not really. I think he is.
Tom
What do you mean you think he's really.
Christy Lee
I think this is one of his so called love languages.
Chick McGee
Isn't basically.
Christy Lee
Yeah, that's the problem.
Chick McGee
But.
Christy Lee
But that is the problem. She has told him and he continues to do.
Chick McGee
He's like, oh, you're just being nice. I want to pay pamper you. You deserve it. And she's like, no, I'm good. No, right? No. I'm thinking he's got to see her wearing lingerie.
Christy Lee
Yeah. I guess I just hope he would say that.
Chick McGee
Hey, it's fourth of July. Here's your star spangled crotchless bikini bottom.
Christy Lee
And those are becoming.
Josh Arnold
That is America.
Greg Hahn
This guy's an idea man.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Greg Hahn
You know what I mean? He's making an effort.
Tom
Yeah.
Chick McGee
But he knows what he likes and. Yeah.
Greg Hahn
Yeah. A girl that likes. It's just a mismatch.
Christy Lee
That's all it is, a mismatch. You're right.
Tom
And this happens on the show a lot. We get a lot of mismatches, don't we, Josh?
Christy Lee
We sure do.
Tom
On this particular.
Chick McGee
It possible to move on.
Tom
Yeah, I know. People get stuck in a rut.
Greg Hahn
Another guy get another girl I don't like. Yeah, I don't like her saying, but I don't like a girl with problems. You know what I mean? Don't have a problem. I'm driving my car. You can't parallel park. Why she gotta get upset that I can't parallel park? You know? Or when. When the song ends on that I'm playing my music. I just want to hear. That was a good one. That's all I want to hear.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Greg Hahn
Do you have any Black Eyed peas? No, I don't want to. We're not swimming. That was a good one. That's all I want to hear.
Tom
Okay.
Christy Lee
Thank you for playing that for me. Is that too hard to say?
Greg Hahn
Exactly.
Josh Arnold
You know what? Some people might say that you have a problem. Some people? Not me.
Chick McGee
No.
Josh Arnold
Well, God, no.
Christy Lee
Ali, do you want to do your letter?
Chick McGee
Oh, sure. Dear Ally, My boyfriend has two kids, 6 and 9 years old. They're brats. They talk back and they cuss and he lets them get away with murder since he's a part time dad. They're even rude to me and he won't reprimand them. Should I start trying to Discipline them myself?
Christy Lee
Yes. Five across the eyes.
Greg Hahn
Jiu jitsu class.
Tom
You might want to talk to him first.
Josh Arnold
Here's what you do. You get yourself a nice, sturdy bath towel. You put like, five or six bars of soap. You private pile them, and then you beat them with it. And they won't leave any marks. This way. Mom did it.
Chick McGee
No. Yeah. I don't know if there's an answer to that one.
Tom
That's a tough.
Christy Lee
This is another mismatch.
Greg Hahn
I think I got the answer. I'm telling you. Mixed martial arts classes. Tell the instructor to teach these kids. Discipline and be good to your parents.
Christy Lee
That's a really good idea.
Greg Hahn
Yeah, strangle. Everybody's got confidence. And then you learn to be calm under pressure. Don't snap back.
Chick McGee
Caricature. After eight weeks, one of the kids karate kicks her in the face.
Christy Lee
Yeah, man.
Chick McGee
I have a.
Josh Arnold
With him.
Chick McGee
I don't know how she would handle that. I've been handled. A very disturbing letter.
Christy Lee
Oh, no.
Chick McGee
In my. In my. Well, you'll see. This is once again addressed to Ali Breen, the host of Sexy Time. Dear Ally, my best friend has been married to an actual witch for the last six years.
Josh Arnold
An actual witch.
Chick McGee
They're finally getting divorced. All of his friends want to congratulate him, but he is heartbreaking, Heartbroken. My friend says we should hire a woman to come on to him, snap him out of this. What do you think?
Christy Lee
I know. No, no, no. Let this guy be heartbroken. As much as you may have disliked this woman, he was in love, and you got to let him grieve.
Greg Hahn
Never mind that. Jiu jitsu class, mixed martial arts.
Josh Arnold
Here's what you got to do. Get yourself a nice bath towel.
Chick McGee
But I mean, hiring a prostitute.
Christy Lee
Well, they didn't say that.
Tom
Oh, they did not say prostitute.
Chick McGee
What do you. Then who do you hire?
Tom
Somebody's friend. Hey, we'll give you 20 bucks if you flirt with this guy. Let's lead him on and break his heart again.
Christy Lee
I know. This is no good.
Chick McGee
This doesn't sound like she wants. Or he wants them to flirt. It sounds to me like he.
Christy Lee
I got the impression that they were going to hire somebody just to flirt with him because. Because that's what the letter said.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, that's. We're only working on what he wants.
Chick McGee
The woman to come to. Oh, come on to him.
Tom
Come on to him.
Chick McGee
Sorry, I was reading ahead.
Josh Arnold
Well, that's.
Chick McGee
That's just dumb.
Josh Arnold
I can't imagine you misunderstanding something.
Chick McGee
Okay. Josh, you have a letter over there.
Christy Lee
I do? Dear Ally, my best friend got some sick with a treatable condition. But I've been helping a lot with his family while he's in treatment, and his wife and I have gotten closer and closer. We started kissing the other day.
Tom
Is this from a guy or a girl?
Christy Lee
I'm assuming guy doesn't say okay, but stopped ourselves from kissing. And I really don't know what to do. I may be falling in love with her, but I don't want to take advantage of a bad situation. Any advice would be great. Run.
Chick McGee
Step on. Step on the oxygen hose back at the hospital.
Christy Lee
Don't do this. Don't do this.
Chick McGee
Pull out the iv.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Switch the chemicals back to the saline solution. That's awful.
Christy Lee
Yeah. The answer is don't go any further. Yeah, I, I. Look, I don't know how you guys feel about this. I would not say anything to anyone.
Chick McGee
Anybody. No, probably not.
Christy Lee
No, I wouldn't fess up to the guy. No, I wouldn't.
Greg Hahn
No, no, you don't say anything. And yeah, he's false when he says, I don't know what to do. You know what to do. Knock it off.
Christy Lee
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Chick McGee
Where you learn to knock it off?
Greg Hahn
Where?
Chick McGee
At a class.
Tom
Jiu Jitsu.
Chick McGee
I guess it was the third or fourth week. You're knocking stuff off. Okay. I love the phrase knock it off.
Christy Lee
Yeah, it is good.
Josh Arnold
Knock it off.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Yeah. That's great. Okay, who else has a letter?
Josh Arnold
Right here. One of my best friends is going through a divorce. This letter says his wife is trying to turn everyone against him. Friends, family are threatening to try to get him fired at work. He's still trying to be nice to her, but it's starting to affect everyone around him. Why should we suffer because his wife is crazy?
Christy Lee
I don't think you have to. Everybody should just ignore her.
Josh Arnold
And there's a follow up.
Christy Lee
Oh, I'm sorry.
Josh Arnold
Should we start retaliating against her?
Tom
Come on, Peter.
Christy Lee
I figured Alsman would be pro retaliation.
Chick McGee
He's gonna start crap. Just give it right back.
Josh Arnold
But I don't know why they're trying.
Chick McGee
To get him fired unless he did something really bad, like embezzlement or, you know, yada, yada.
Greg Hahn
So we're assuming he's innocent until proven guilty.
Tom
If he gets fired, he can't pay his support.
Chick McGee
Very, very good. Yeah, see there? This is like the old debtors prison, right? A million dollars are putting you in jail. You got to pay it back. How?
Tom
Okay, no, don't get involved in that.
Chick McGee
This one's complicated. Oh, once Again, addressed to Ally. Dear Ally, I've been married for 10 years and have not had a relationship in a sexual manner with my wife for quite a long time.
Christy Lee
Okay.
Chick McGee
I met a girl at a convention. We have amazing chemistry.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Chick McGee
We've been seeing each other more and more. The only thing is, the only time we're together were heavily intoxicated.
Greg Hahn
So far there's no problem.
Chick McGee
I wonder.
Josh Arnold
Why are you telling us?
Chick McGee
I wonder, will we get along when we're sober? What should I do?
Tom
Well, why don't you sober up and find out?
Christy Lee
Yeah. I don't.
Greg Hahn
Get a divorce and take your girlfriend to the zoo.
Christy Lee
He's right.
Josh Arnold
Take her to the zoo.
Christy Lee
Why aren't you taking her to the zoo?
Josh Arnold
Yes. Why haven't you been to the zoo? Yeah.
Chick McGee
Beer at the zoo.
Tom
No. That's what he's saying.
Greg Hahn
You can sober look at the zoo.
Tom
Sober at the zoo.
Josh Arnold
Don't make faces at the monkeys. Right.
Greg Hahn
Yes.
Christy Lee
I was buddies with a guy, we went to the zoo a bunch. A bunch of people. And he got hammered. And that's when we all went. He's up. Got a problem. You can't go to the zoo.
Josh Arnold
Remember that time we went to the zoo?
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
And you got. Really.
Christy Lee
And he is a bonafide alcoholic.
Greg Hahn
These are easy.
Chick McGee
Well, thank you very much, everybody. Once again, this is. This is the Bob and Tom program. We are coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, the home of the Orange Insoul sports desk and the Silac Insurance news desk with Christy Lee.
Tom
Yeah, I think we solved a lot of problems today.
Chick McGee
Well, what else have you got over there, Christy?
Tom
A woman was hospitalized after being stung by a scorpion Sunday night at Boston Logan International Airport. Airport. She was stung while gathering her luggage in the baggage claim area.
Christy Lee
You know, I like scorpions in the baggage claim area. This will speed everybody up.
Josh Arnold
Not only that, but the scorpions are trying to get luggage just like everybody else. Okay.
Christy Lee
I believe this is my bag.
Greg Hahn
That's right.
Josh Arnold
Pardon me. Pardon me.
Christy Lee
The tag fell off.
Tom
She was quickly rushed to the hospital following the sting.
Josh Arnold
Oh, sorry about the stinger.
Tom
Sorry. Did not make it clear where the scorpion came from or how it ended up at the airport.
Josh Arnold
None of your business. Minneapolis made a connection through Detroit.
Greg Hahn
What?
Tom
God. I flew. Flew from Brazil. Right. Where scorpions are from. I don't know.
Christy Lee
You know, the thing about scorpions?
Tom
What?
Christy Lee
They pince you and then they sting you. You get both.
Josh Arnold
Wow. They hold. They hold you.
Christy Lee
So, hey, I gotta hold you with these. These.
Josh Arnold
So they could Whip the stinger.
Greg Hahn
That's a team.
Chick McGee
Logan.
Greg Hahn
Scorpions.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Did you say Scorpions?
Tom
Yes.
Greg Hahn
Yeah, yeah. Hair babies.
Chick McGee
This is your age. Cosby.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Ladies and gentlemen.
Josh Arnold
Rock you like hurricane.
Chick McGee
These are the Scorps hailing from the Maginot Line. Wait a minute. No, sorry.
Josh Arnold
West Berlin.
Christy Lee
The Scorps.
Chick McGee
You got your savs, you got your scores. Greatest.
Christy Lee
The greatest.
Josh Arnold
Oh, I love this for some reason. Columbus, Ohio. A hot bed for Scorpions fans. I still haven't figured.
Christy Lee
Yeah, they did.
Josh Arnold
I don't get it.
Christy Lee
They're good, but.
Chick McGee
And there was a story not too long ago about.
Josh Arnold
It's like St. Louis.
Chick McGee
The lady with the deadly spider and the bananas.
Tom
Yeah.
Chick McGee
At a. At a grocery store.
Tom
Yeah, that. Yeah. That was imported in.
Josh Arnold
I thought that was an urban legend.
Tom
I didn't know scorpions had 45 different toxins in their venom. I learned that.
Christy Lee
You think just the one would be.
Tom
Yeah, they have to keep.
Josh Arnold
Not only that, but we have to keep all 45 straight.
Chick McGee
It's very confusing.
Josh Arnold
That's right. Sometimes the 43 will seep into 92 and. Oh, that's two minutes.
Christy Lee
Anywho, I see you're trying to read a magazine.
Chick McGee
I'll leave you be careful. Many bags look the same.
Tom
Yeah.
Chick McGee
If yours has a scorpion. Do you have your bags marked with something special?
Tom
No.
Chick McGee
Every time I. That baggage thing, I. God, I've got to put.
Josh Arnold
Do something special like a purple ribbon or something.
Chick McGee
Yeah, I have. I did just get these.
Josh Arnold
Here we go.
Chick McGee
What do you call luggage tags that have their photographs? Yes, but they're on metal to take. You send them a picture and they put a picture.
Josh Arnold
Have you seen the Lionel Richie luggage tag?
Chick McGee
No.
Josh Arnold
It just says hello.
Chick McGee
Oh, no.
Josh Arnold
Is it me you're looking for? That's right.
Christy Lee
I just wrote bomb on my suitcase. I recognize it.
Josh Arnold
I figure if they don't get it, they can't take a joke.
Christy Lee
Yeah, I don't want to be with them.
Tom
A giant goldfish has been found in a Pennsylvania waterway. The U. S. Fish and Wildlife Service are calling it a Megalodon. Like goldfish. The fish was found during an electro fishing survey.
Chick McGee
This impressa better be really big.
Tom
The agency used the discovery to remind people not to release their pet fish into the wild, which can create an invasive problem that can last decades. Goldfish grow massive in the wild, According to the U.S. fish and Wildlife Service, where they can turn lakes and waterways into murky messes. They steal food from native fish and wreck water quality.
Greg Hahn
Another good team name, right?
Christy Lee
The goldfish.
Greg Hahn
The gigantic Goldfish, Right. The banana spiders.
Tom
Hey, they say if you can't keep your fish re home it.
Christy Lee
Yeah, right down the toilet. I know that's what they said not to do, but yeah.
Chick McGee
Come on.
Christy Lee
If you put them on the.
Chick McGee
When you flush them down a toilet. I know in the movie they make it all the way to the lake, but is that really what. That's not what happens.
Josh Arnold
No, no. Yes, it is.
Chick McGee
Yeah, it is.
Josh Arnold
Absolutely.
Chick McGee
And they go into raw sewage.
Josh Arnold
No, no, no, no. Well, 90% of toilets in America go right to a nice, a pristine lake.
Tom
Didn't you know this or waterway of some sort.
Christy Lee
Tahoe is 80% poop.
Josh Arnold
Have you ever been to Lake Tahoe? I love, like there's no. There's an odor.
Christy Lee
Yeah. Oh, yeah. You gotta wear a nose clip.
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah.
Chick McGee
Wow.
Josh Arnold
It's beautiful. But there's an odor.
Chick McGee
Is that really a thing?
Tom
What?
Chick McGee
That if you flush them, they survive?
Christy Lee
Aren't we? Who's flushing a live goldfish?
Tom
Yeah, who's doing that?
Josh Arnold
You know what? I would not even give it a second thought.
Christy Lee
Would you eat one?
Chick McGee
Now that's. That was a story last week.
Tom
Yeah. You can't have. You can't eat like goldfish anymore.
Christy Lee
Oh, yeah. That one country. There's a festival somewhere in belgium.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom
Like 600 year old tradition. And now they've said you can't.
Christy Lee
The animal rights people said, please.
Josh Arnold
If I ate a goldfish, would you guys laugh or would you just go, oh, poor chicks lost it.
Tom
How long would it live in your stomach?
Christy Lee
I'd high five you.
Chick McGee
It would live for only a matter of seconds. I would assume stomach acid.
Josh Arnold
What about the bones?
Christy Lee
Bones?
Josh Arnold
Goldfish have bones. Wouldn't that get in your, you know, pierce your stomach or something?
Chick McGee
I, I asked this earlier, wasn't that a thing in the 20s or.
Tom
Well, yeah, like the roaring 20s. People would drink goldfish or something silly, right?
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Tom
In drinks. Yeah.
Chick McGee
Like a friend or a fraternity house prank.
Christy Lee
Look at that young flapper over there drinking goldfish.
Josh Arnold
Seeing how many boys they can fit into a phone booth.
Christy Lee
He's all hopped up on minnows.
Chick McGee
Who? You kids, I assume. It, it. It descends from the historical tradition of human sacrifice.
Christy Lee
Well, what doesn't?
Chick McGee
Yeah, you know, they'd get a local virgin and I admire you. They'd say to the father, look, we're going to take her out to the cliff and we're gonna have her jump off, but we'll play some drums before.
Josh Arnold
And have a couple.
Christy Lee
You want props this year or not?
Chick McGee
Paint her faces you know, little Susie's gonna. If she doesn't jump, we'll push her.
Josh Arnold
There are those who would look upon the virginity mantle as a common compliment. They're. They're helping the crops. Yes.
Christy Lee
Yes.
Josh Arnold
That's how they sold it, right?
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
You know, the negative part is. Is the death.
Tom
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Yeah, sure. Right. That would be rough.
Christy Lee
Joe versus the volcano. Yes or no?
Josh Arnold
Yes. Haven't seen it.
Chick McGee
I haven't seen it.
Christy Lee
I'm a yes.
Chick McGee
Also, Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, adorable together.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Does she have to jump off? Uncle Cliff?
Christy Lee
You. Well, I'm not going to ruin anything, but there is the Abe Vagoda is in it you might enjoy.
Chick McGee
Oh, I like it. Oh, that'd be. That'd be very interesting.
Tom
Who's Joe?
Chick McGee
Is he a Tom Hanks?
Tom
Oh, okay.
Chick McGee
Okay. Well, let's just move forward here. We have a lot to get to. But I want to remind you that you want to feel safe and comfortable in your home. Then you ask Chick Magee how to do that.
Josh Arnold
I do. Simply safe. That's right. And we trust simply safe here at the Bob and Tom Studios as well. You know, traditional security systems only take action after somebody's already broken into your house and gone through your things. That's too late. Simplisafe has what they call active guard outdoor protection. It's AI powered cameras only from Simplisafe, backed by live professional monitoring agents monitor your property and detect suspicious activity. If someone's lurking around or acting suspiciously, agents can see and talk to that person in real time, activate spotlights and even contact the police, all before they have a chance to get inside your home. And with Simplisafe, no long term contracts or cancellation fees. Monitoring plans start affordably at around a dollar a day and SimpleSave has a 60 day satisfaction guarantee or your money back. Visit SimplisafeToM.com to claim 50% off a new system and a professional monitoring plan with your first month free. 50% off in your first month. Month free. Go to simplisafetom.com there's no safe like.
Chick McGee
Simply say thank you very much, Chick McGee. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning even though we're not too much to look at. You can also watch the show on our YouTube channel. Thank you, IBM.
Josh Arnold
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the SILAC Insurance news desk. Hi, there's Jessica Halsman. Hello. There's Josh Arnold.
Christy Lee
Hi there.
Josh Arnold
There's Ace Cosby. Hey, Greg. Hods here in the studio.
Greg Hahn
Hey, how are you, Chick? Nice to see you.
Josh Arnold
Hello. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Here's Tom.
Chick McGee
Oh, thank you very much. Chick McGee, of course, is at the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. Oh, yes, Looking very handsome today.
Josh Arnold
Thank you.
Chick McGee
As you are, Mr. Han. But no, Greg, you've been a professional comedian for how long?
Greg Hahn
I don't know, 30 years or so.
Chick McGee
30 years, that's amazing.
Greg Hahn
Oh, yeah, I got the writing down.
Tom
Yeah, yeah.
Greg Hahn
You sit down with a piece of paper and a pen, then I'm out of ideas. But seriously, you know what I mean? What do you say there, Josh? Josh? What do you say, Doctor? I want to be a. I want to be a nickname guy.
Christy Lee
Oh, okay.
Greg Hahn
Hey, how you doing, Tom? How are you, boss? Chick. How are you, champ?
Josh Arnold
Hey, I like this.
Greg Hahn
Yeah. How you doing, ladies? How you doing, babies?
Josh Arnold
I like it very much. You know Han, the nickname guy?
Greg Hahn
Yeah. Ace. What's up, Doctor?
Chick McGee
We used to. That guy used to work here.
Josh Arnold
How about Scoop?
Chick McGee
There was a guy here.
Josh Arnold
Throw Scoop in.
Chick McGee
There was a guy here that called everybody bud.
Greg Hahn
Yeah.
Chick McGee
And I figured he just couldn't remember anybody's name. Yeah, but they say Babe Ruth did that. He called everybody dad.
Greg Hahn
That's funny, dad.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Christy Lee
Hey, very odd. Yeah.
Chick McGee
Yeah, well, he was an orphan. Probably a sad, sad twist of that available. Did you ever see the movie the Babe Ruth Story?
Josh Arnold
Don't ever forget he was an orphan.
Tom
I've never seen the Babe Ruth Story.
Chick McGee
It is. It's so. It's so amazingly dreadful. It's. It's a must see. Okay, William Bendix. There's a scene where he's in a bar drinking milk. Of course, you know the Babe.
Josh Arnold
You know, there was a time in this country where William Bendix had the world by the balls. He had a TV show, he had a hit movie movie. He was everywhere.
Chick McGee
And they. He's like 45 years old portraying the teenage babe. It's great. It's a great movie.
Josh Arnold
Remember, the Life of Riley wasn't that bad. Yeah.
Chick McGee
The reason I brought. Brought up Greg Hahn is because 30 years in comedy, you probably need a little bit of a refresher.
Greg Hahn
Yeah, I do.
Chick McGee
Therefore, it's time to go that direction with this.
Greg Hahn
Oh, yeah.
Chick McGee
Here he is with his joke of the day.
Josh Arnold
A man walks into a bar.
Tom
Yeah.
Christy Lee
He was terrible at limbo.
Greg Hahn
Yes.
Tom
The master's joke of the day, brought to you by sleep number. Sleep better together. Save 40 on the new sleep number. Limited edition smart bed for a limited time, exclusively at a sleep number store.
Chick McGee
I need a judgment call.
Christy Lee
Okay.
Chick McGee
Would that joke have worked better if it was a horse walks into a bar?
Christy Lee
No, no, no.
Tom
What, horses can't limbo?
Christy Lee
It was perfect.
Chick McGee
Because the traditional beginning of that joke is a horse walks into a bar, Right?
Josh Arnold
Well, no, there are many, many, all kinds of things.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Many, many, many animals.
Christy Lee
A man walks into a bar. There are probably more of those than a horse.
Chick McGee
You think so?
Christy Lee
No, no, I know so. Yeah.
Josh Arnold
What is it though?
Greg Hahn
Quite a long face face with a horse joke, but that's just the most.
Josh Arnold
And then the horse says, my wife just died. Right, that's right. That's why he has a. That's why.
Chick McGee
Yeah, why, why the long face?
Josh Arnold
And what's the one? A rabbi, a priest and sailor walk into a bar and the bartender says, what is this, some kind of joke?
Christy Lee
Oh, that's classic.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, certainly.
Chick McGee
Thank you very much.
Josh Arnold
Anything else?
Christy Lee
Lawyer passes the bar.
Josh Arnold
Okay.
Christy Lee
Yeah, the bar exam. Right. That's. I'm not saying it's good. I'm just saying that's.
Chick McGee
That's a joke in its entirety.
Josh Arnold
All right. Okay. You know, I do like it when we sit around and talk about things.
Chick McGee
That are funny as opposed to trying to be. Okay.
Josh Arnold
Trying to be funny.
Chick McGee
Yeah, that's absolutely fine.
Tom
Oscars had the biggest audience in the last five years. Did you ever see that?
Greg Hahn
Is that right?
Josh Arnold
I say it was all credit to lil Conan O'Brien. I thought he did a great job given the material he had and the people he was working.
Chick McGee
He got great reviews. Good. Good for Conan.
Tom
Yes. 19.7 million viewers watched the 97th Academy Awards ceremony despite most people, as we talked about yesterday, not seeing many of the films that were nominated.
Josh Arnold
You know, they started walking the red carpet at like 2 in the afternoon Pacific time. And they went on. It started at. At 7 Eastern, 4 Pacific. It was. How can you party at that brunch?
Greg Hahn
No kidding, right?
Chick McGee
I need someone that has a knowledge of history to help me with this. Now, Josh, you've. Have you attended the so called AVN awards? The.
Christy Lee
No, I haven't.
Chick McGee
The porno awards?
Greg Hahn
No.
Chick McGee
You ever heard of these, Greg? I've heard of the porno people. They have a big thing in Vegas.
Josh Arnold
And would you let Josh and I go out to Vegas and cover that Bob and Tom correspondence, much like the super.
Chick McGee
Apparently it's very boring.
Christy Lee
The ceremony itself. So boring, apparently.
Josh Arnold
Really?
Chick McGee
Do they have a. Before the thing, do they have someone Interviewing people on a pink carpet.
Christy Lee
Are they actually, I don't know if know it's pink, but they have a red carpet.
Josh Arnold
Carpet.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Chick McGee
What is the what the history. Why is it always a red carpet? I don't know. Does that descend from kings and queens? And they would go places. They roll out the carpet.
Josh Arnold
Then I say that wasn't purple the royal color? I thought. Isn't that right? Yeah.
Chick McGee
Who knows? Maybe. It depends what country it is. Well, I'll be interested to see if there's a big Oscar bump for Anora. For Anora, the one movie that I.
Josh Arnold
Know when they have ceremonies like this in Poland, they don't use a red car, but it's more of a linoleum. Well.
Chick McGee
And it can be rolled out, I guess.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, I guess you can roll in only about.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Well, now one of those fake wood. What else is going on over there?
Tom
Before we go, Barbra Streisand has.
Christy Lee
We don't need to talk about that. What else is going on?
Tom
Audiobook award for My name is Barbara.
Josh Arnold
Have you.
Tom
I tried.
Josh Arnold
I tried to listen.
Tom
Did you to this.
Josh Arnold
And I couldn't take it.
Tom
She narrates it herself.
Josh Arnold
I had no idea. I reacted physically to Barbra Streisand's voice.
Tom
A thousand page books and career.
Chick McGee
How many hours is it? Does it say?
Tom
Doesn't say.
Josh Arnold
Think of her doing hello gorgeous about 50 times.
Tom
Yikes.
Christy Lee
It must feel like forever.
Chick McGee
Okay, well, thank you. Thank you very much. A quick reminder. This show on the road two days in a row. Major League Baseball opening up Cincinnati. That's going to be by the way, it's brought to you by Field of Dreams Whiskey Company. It's going to be Thursday morning, March 27th at the Smoke Justice Restaurant in Covington, Kentucky. The next day, Friday, March 20th, 8th, it's going to be Glass City Center, Toledo, Ohio, celebrating the Toledo Mud Hens.
Josh Arnold
And guess who's going to be there? Toledo, Friday. I know for sure. I know. Mr. And Mrs. Rat are going to be there Thursday. They usually show up, right?
Christy Lee
I hope so.
Chick McGee
Who's gonna be there Friday?
Josh Arnold
Muddy. Oh, Toledo Mud Hen mascot. Oh, oh, yeah. I can't wait.
Chick McGee
Muddy Waters.
Josh Arnold
No, it looks like a big bird.
Chick McGee
I hope to see you there. Details coming up about that whole thing right now. This is the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and we are the Bob and Tom Show. For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom show contest rules, go to bob and tom.com contest rules or just.
Greg Hahn
Scroll down to the bottom of the page and see contest rules this is.
Chick McGee
The Bob and Tom show. Michael Rosenbaum and his Small Bill co stars take you behind the scenes of one of the greatest shows. Shows of all time.
Greg Hahn
We're gonna watch every episode. Join us.
Chick McGee
It's big talk.
Greg Hahn
You remember when I had to shave my head?
Tom
Oh, I think I was angry with.
Chick McGee
This one on Smallville.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
I mean, I get it.
Josh Arnold
The scene you did.
Chick McGee
And this is the one that got me fired.
Christy Lee
Okay.
Greg Hahn
What?
Josh Arnold
Here we go.
Chick McGee
I love the excursions with me and welling. It's everything that Superman stands for.
Christy Lee
It's Talkville talk, though.
Greg Hahn
We always talk about it.
Chick McGee
It's a great thing. The Smallville Rewatch podcast. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.
Hosts: Bob Kevoian and Tom Griswold
Guest: Comedian Greg Hahn
Location: O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios
Release Date: March 5, 2025
The episode opens with a lively discussion about Ash Wednesday, the start of Lent in the Catholic tradition. The hosts and guest Greg Hahn delve into modern adaptations of Ash Wednesday practices, such as "Ashes to Go," where individuals can receive ashes without attending the full mass.
The conversation humorously touches on the logistics of drive-thru Ash services and the differing opinions on the necessity of leaving ashes on one's forehead.
Listeners contributed letters seeking advice on personal relationships. Two prominent letters addressed:
Over-the-Top Romantic Gestures:
A listener describes a partner who goes to extreme lengths to be romantic, prompting questions about the sincerity behind these actions.
Handling Stepchildren and Discipline:
Another letter discusses challenges with stepchildren who exhibit unruly behavior, seeking guidance on effective discipline without causing familial strife.
These segments combine heartfelt advice with the show's signature humor, providing relatable content for listeners navigating similar situations.
A recurring segment features the hosts and Greg Hahn sharing and discussing quirky high school mascot names submitted by listeners. This lighthearted topic sparks creativity and laughter as they explore names like:
Cobden Apple Knockers (Cobden, Illinois)
Jordan Beet Diggers (Sandy, Utah)
Hoopston Corn Jerkers (Hoopston, Illinois)
Notable Quote:
Chick McGee [66:26]: "The Cobden Apple Knockers from Cobden, Illinois. The apple knocker is depicted as a man with freckles, wearing overalls, a flannel shirt, a straw hat, and chewing on a piece of straw."
These discussions celebrate the uniqueness of various schools while poking fun at the creativity behind mascot selections.
Comedian Greg Hahn serves as the episode's special guest, infusing the show with his comedic flair. Throughout the episode, Greg engages in:
Musical Performances:
Greg humorously attempts to play "Brown Eyed Girl" using unconventional objects like a coffee table, adding a layer of slapstick comedy.
Stand-Up Bits and Banter:
Greg shares jokes and interacts dynamically with the hosts, enhancing the episode's entertainment value.
His presence provides a refreshing break from the regular segments, keeping the audience engaged with laughter and spontaneity.
The show highlights upcoming live events where the hosts will be present, encouraging listener participation and supporting community initiatives.
Cincinnati Reds Opening Day:
Scheduled for Thursday, March 27th, at Smoke Justice in Covington, Kentucky. Attendees can expect live broadcasts, special T-shirts, and proceeds benefiting the Children's Hospital in Cincinnati.
Toledo Mud Hens Opening Day:
Set for Friday, March 28th, at the Glass City Center in downtown Toledo, Ohio. Similar to the Reds event, this will feature live coverage, merchandise sales, and fundraising efforts for the Ronald McDonald House.
These segments emphasize the show's commitment to community engagement and charitable support.
Interspersed with main segments are brief news bites presented with the hosts' humorous perspectives:
Shark Attack Incident:
Discussing a tragic event where a woman was bitten by a shark in Turks Caicos while trying to take a photograph, the hosts navigate the sensitive topic with a mix of empathy and humor.
Surviving Scorpions and Goldfish in Airports:
Light-hearted conversations about unusual animal encounters in public spaces, blending factual reporting with comedic commentary.
These segments maintain the show's balance between entertainment and information, keeping listeners both informed and amused.
The March 5, 2025, episode of The BOB & TOM Show offers a blend of humor, heartfelt advice, and community engagement. From dissecting the nuances of Ash Wednesday practices to celebrating the quirkiest high school mascots, the hosts create an engaging environment for listeners. The addition of comedian Greg Hahn amplifies the episode's entertainment value, while live event promotions underscore the show's dedication to supporting local teams and charitable causes. Balancing news with laughter, this episode exemplifies The BOB & TOM Show's ability to entertain and connect with its audience on multiple levels.
Note: All timestamps are referenced based on the provided transcript for attribution purposes.