The BOB & TOM Show - May 25, 2026

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast – May 25, 2026

Host: The BOB & TOM Show | Cumulus Podcast Network
Airdate: May 25, 2026
Theme: Comedy, talk, news, and sports blend with favorite guests, humorous takes, and topical banter.

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Episode Overview

This episode of The BOB & TOM Show delivers a classic blend of live comedy, topical news and sports, nostalgic memories, and quick-witted guest interviews. With Memorial Day in full swing, the hosts celebrate with returning favorites, including comedians Joe Dombrowski, Dave Dyer, Jamie Lisso, DJ Dangler, and TJ Miller. Listeners can expect hilarious parenting stories, generational banter, a deep dive into the world of sports, pop culture nostalgia, and the enduring oddities of daily life.

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Key Segments & Insights

1. Guest Spotlight: Joe Dombrowski – “Dad on Arrival”

[05:17 – 14:56]

• Comedy Special: Joe joins to discuss his new special “Dad on Arrival,” filmed in Eugene, Oregon, poking fun at Oregon stereotypes and sharing his adventures as a new father.
• Fatherhood Misadventures:
  • Joe recounts being monumentally unprepared for parenting, including diaper surprises:
    “I bring this baby home. Five days old, this baby poops across the room with the force that can only be described as a Civil War cannon...four and a half feet across the room. It made a sound when it hit the wall.” (08:04 – Joe Dombrowski)
  • Admits to sleepless confusion:
    “I was so tired, I forgot the number. 12, 11... North? Is it north?” (10:20 – Joe Dombrowski)
  • Sing-along fails: Admits to busting out “From the window, to the wall…” while changing diapers. (10:21)
• Tour Life: Parents help babysit, but Joe’s dad brings small-town innocence and comic misunderstandings — as when he mistakes “polyamorous” for ambidextrous.
  “Joe, this guy can write with both hands.” (11:55 – Joe’s Dad via Joe)
• Big News: Joe is treating his entire family—including baby and husband—to Hawaii for an anniversary.
  “I am taking my husband, my baby, and both my parents...to Hawaii for their 45th wedding anniversary.” (13:07)

Notable Quotes:

• “Every minute with him is a new hour of material.” (12:23 – Joe)
• “The Bob and Tom fans are psycho…so cool to have people from all over the world write into me.” (12:23 – Joe)

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2. Jamie Lisso & The Angel/Villain Game

[17:06 – 29:46]

• Location/Updates: Jamie joins from a New York hotel, discussing touring with Rob Schneider for the military, and “angel or villain” moments inspired by listener stories.
• Angel/Villain Stories:
  1. Giving spouse first-class upgrade:
     “Do you give your wife the upgrade or is it better to sit together?”
     • Christy: “Angel move, absolutely.”
     • Tom: “What if she marries the Frenchman in the first-class seat?”
  2. Standing up to the airplane farter:
     • Josh: “I think she was the farter.”
     • Tom: “He who smelt it, dealt it.”
  3. Reporting old man with loud phone:
     • Christy: “Angel!” Josh: “I would’ve talked to the guy first.”

Notable Moment:

• Jamie jokes about being downgraded mid-flight by a stewardess “as if it’s good news.” (26:30)

Quick-Hits:

• Jamie discusses being less “manly” in Alaska/Idaho (“not a man’s man, not even a woman’s man”).
• Preparation for a military tour in Alaska and air miles piling up.

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3. Sports & Stupid World Record: The Sports Bra and 23-Foot Snake

[30:37 – 36:52]

• Sports Bra Bar in Indianapolis:
  A women-only sports bar, The Sports Bra, is opening, focusing on women's sports and inclusivity.
  • Chick: “Was Lesbos already taken?”
  • Josh: “That bar is not for you, Chick.”
  • Christy: “Yes it is, if you like women’s sports!”
• World’s Longest Wild Python:
  A 23-foot python discovered in Indonesia becomes a record holder.
  • Tom jokes Josh is “longest snake in captivity” after a hospital stay.
  • Christy: “Is it dead?” Chick: “No, it’s alive!”
  • Pat: “His head is about the size of a human head.”

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4. Gender Studies Comedy: Male G-Spot & Identical Twin Paternity

[36:53 – 40:26]

• Male “G-Spot” Study:
  • The frenular delta (banjo string) is cited as the most sensitive spot.
    • Tom: “That’s my favorite kind of blues music — the frenular delta.”
• Twin Paternity Dilemma:
  • UK court can't determine which identical twin fathered a child due to identical DNA.
    • Christy: “Maybe it was the devil’s three way. We don’t know.”

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5. Dave Dyer: Comedy, Firefighting, and Dad Tattoos

[41:28 – 48:39]

• Dave the Firefighter:
  • Can’t grow a beard—mustache only for firefighter mask seal.
  • Recalls putting out a small highway car fire, and lamenting not being reimbursed for using his fire extinguisher in the past.
  • Details his "Tight 10" podcast—10 questions per guest, many from different walks of life.
• Parental Tattoos:
  • Dave sports an arrow tattoo reading "forward" (though his daughter keeps moving back home), planning to get “reverse” on the other arm.

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6. DJ Dangler: Beards, Earrings, and Gross-Outs

[53:23 – 59:09]

• Look & Attitude:
  • DJ’s bald head & huge beard debated. Tom: “If you didn’t have the beard, I wouldn’t recognize you.”
• Cigarette Earrings:
  • Marlboro-themed earrings and their “tough” image. Pat calls them “for women who work on barges.”
• Gauged Ears:
  • Chick attests: “If she would change them out in the car, it would be worse than any stink I’ve made.”

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7. Pop Culture Throwdown: James Bond Movies & Theme Songs

[63:00 – 68:53]

• Top-Bond Faves Debated:
  • Arguments over best/worst Bond (Thunderball and Goldfinger for Tom, Skyfall for others).
  • Best Bond theme: Paul McCartney’s “Live and Let Die,” Goldfinger, and heavy debates.
  • Josh: “Tom Hanks has begged to be a Bond villain and no one has taken him up.”

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8. Tom’s Surprise Marriage & Underwear Misadventure

[70:00 – 77:31]

• Tom Marries in the Bahamas:
  • Weds on the beach during pouring rain, ill-prepared.
  • Wears wife Kelly’s flesh-tone underwear backward beneath white linen pants:
    “I got into my wife’s pants on my wedding night…a couple hours before the ceremony.” (74:01)
• Kids’ Reaction:
  • Tells the kids post-trip; promises a party.

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9. Fun with Monsters, Parenting, and Ice Cream Sandwiches

[79:02 – 83:55]

• Jess Hooker Tales:
  • Grew up with a mom who hid behind the shower curtain with a knife to scare her (“didn’t manifest well as an adult”).
• Food Talk:
  • Homemade Master’s-themed peach ice cream sandwiches; blue bunny and Klondike nostalgia.

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10. Miscellaneous Tom Moments & Musical Breaks

[96:46 – 123:38]

• Tom Moment:
  • Tom can’t remember the word “joint,” says “pot stick.”
  • Chick’s dad rolled joints while watching Laugh-In, yet “never smoked around me.”
• Pat Godwin’s “Epstein List” song:
  • Pokes fun at rumor-mongering about Epstein connections:
    “Apparently I’m on the Epstein list.”
• Musical Parodies:
  • Pat's Springsteen “I’m on Fire” parody – specifically about the perils of burning leaves, burning chicken, and burning houses.

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11. Fun with Robes, Sweatpants, and Generational Style Wars

[139:16 – 149:24]

• Robes:
  • Jimmy & Oliver Pardo discuss roommates and “robe guys.”
  • Willie G describes wearing hotel robes that make him look “huge and dainty.”
  • Ace Cosby owns a prized KISS robe.
• Sweatpants:
  • Tom refuses to wear them: “Implication of failure.”
  • Chick: “I wear sweatpants as a sleep pant.”
  • College students embrace sweatpants for class.

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Memorable Highlights & Quotes

• “Every minute with him is a new hour of material.” (12:23 – Joe Dombrowski)
• “If you drop your pants, I’ll raise your grade.” (01:49 – Chick, reading mock Penthouse letter)
• “Her boyfriend is Quaker. Not many Quakers in dispensaries.” (128:23 – TJ Miller)
• “Just because you can burn it off doesn’t mean you should.” (108:15 – Tom, on torches and repainting)
• On lingerie: “I don’t want the frilly umbrella, I want the drink.” (112:57 – Willie G)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Joe Dombrowski, Fatherhood & “Dad On Arrival”: 05:17 – 14:56
• Jamie Lisso, Angel/Villain Stories: 17:06 – 29:46
• Sports Bra & Python World Record: 30:37 – 36:52
• Bond Movie & Theme Song Rankings: 63:00 – 68:53
• Tom’s Bahamas Wedding: 70:00 – 77:31
• Dave Dyer, Firefighting & Tattoos: 41:28 – 48:39
• Robes & Sweatpants Generational Debate: 139:16 – 149:24

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Tone

True to the BOB & TOM style: irreverent, fast-paced, quick-witted, self-deprecating, and peppered with sly innuendo and affectionate teasing among hosts, guests, and their families.

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Conclusion

Packed with fresh parenting material, pop culture nostalgia, hilarious musical parodies, and unscripted moments, this Memorial Day episode beautifully embodies the blend of relatable fun, spontaneous absurdity, and comedic insight that has made The BOB & TOM Show a staple for American radio comedy fans.

Listeners are in for stories of failed fashion (and failed diaper changes), family quirks, life on the road, and moments that can only happen in a room full of seasoned comics. Whether you’re a longtime listener or new to the show, this episode offers a full sampler platter of what makes BOB & TOM so enduringly beloved.

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Transcript

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[Tom Griswold]

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[Chick McGee]

It's the bob and tom show.

[Dave Dyer]

Dear Penthouse,

[Tom Griswold]

I'm a freshman at a

[Chick McGee]

small midwestern university, and I never thought something like this could happen to me.

[Joe Dombrowski]

When my teacher with the dynamite ass

[Chick McGee]

asked me to stay after class and she started to undress, I can't forget the statement she made. If you drop your pets, I'll raise your grade. Dear penthouse, I'm a seaman first class at an overseas naval base. It's been seven long months since I've seen a woman's face. When I saw your recent issue, I took a box of Kleenex tissue and I locked the barracks door. That you have gotten a grip. Please excuse my jerky penmanship. The first two years behind the bathroom door I bore through every penthouse I could find Even though my mom said I go blind. Dear Pen, Doing sports on the radio has always been my job. I've never wanted a man until I noticed Bob. When we're close, I start to perspire. His little bun set my loins on fire and I dream about the day he'll say chick. Let's get on. Address Name and address withheld upon request. Good morning. Hello. From coast to coast, it's the Bob and Tom Show. Bob and Tom and Tom. Bob and Tom. Many portions of the upcoming program have been pre recorded, meaning they've already happened and they're about to happen again. So where was it? Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Ladies and gentlemen, we're glad to have you here. It's the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Do we have Mr. Dabrowski joining us at this point? Oh, there he is.

[TJ Miller]

Hi, Joe.

[Tom Griswold]

How are you?

[Joe Dombrowski]

Can I just say, how dare Josh Arnold wear flannel again? Come on.

[Chick McGee]

Again.

[Josh Arnold]

Josh I don't remember if you were. If you were a fan or not.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

Are you. Are you upset because I'm turning you on or are you upset because I'm putting you off?

[Joe Dombrowski]

I don't know. Here's the thing. I don't know what's more upsetting, you wearing the flannel or me trying to insult you wearing the flannel while wearing a camouflage.

[Chick McGee]

I'm going to say,

[Joe Dombrowski]

I know. I'm over here trying to make fun of you. Literally, I look like I walked out of Lowe's. This is insane.

[Tom Griswold]

Joe Dabrowski is our guest. Joe is one of my favorite human beings. One of the funniest guests we've had in years on this show. And Joe's new special is called dad on Arrival, which we were just talking about. What a great title that is. I mean, just right off the bat.

[Josh Arnold]

Awesome.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, it's pretty hard to get a good title in common. That's me live in Chicago. Oh, great. I wouldn't have. So tell us, where did you film this thing? What's going on with it?

[Joe Dombrowski]

I filmed it in Eugene, Oregon, which is like way, way, way the outskirts of Portland. There's actually. Sorry, Josh. I also make fun of people wearing flannel in the special too. There was a group of gays in the front and I was like, wow, aren't you guys just the beacon of Oregon in all your flannel?

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't that reserved for the lesbian side of gayness? The flannel?

[Joe Dombrowski]

I actually filmed it during softball season, so there weren't many lesbians in the audience, unfortunately. So I, Joe Dombrowski, Mark Safed from his comedy special taping. No, I'm just kidding. You know, there was a lot of gays because a group of gays is called a gaggle, but a group of lesbians, as you guys know, is called Dangerous. Anyway, but thank you for complimenting the title Dead on Arrival, because a lot has changed since I've seen you guys last. I'm a. I'm a father now. Full fledged dad to a five month old, 27 pound chunk of meat.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

And can we. Do you mind if we ask the child's name? Is that okay?

[Joe Dombrowski]

It's colloquially we call him Rattlesnake.

[Josh Arnold]

Awesome.

[Joe Dombrowski]

We call him Rattlesnake and it fits my motif today.

[Tom Griswold]

What's his first tattoo gonna be?

[Joe Dombrowski]

Yeah, his first tattoo is probably gonna be something on his neck. I'm not sure what, but we're really. We're going for prison chic in this house.

[Josh Arnold]

Joe, is the special out now?

[Joe Dombrowski]

The special's out now. It's on YouTube. If you go to my page, you can find it. It was put out there by 800 pound gorilla, which I'm really proud of. So if you type in Joe Dombrowski down On arrival on YouTube, you'll find it for free for the masses.

[Chick McGee]

All right, well, that's great.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, by way of background, Joe was a school teacher for many years and now a dad. I have fathered many children, Joe. I can give you plenty of pointers. Have you had the experience, the unexpected fountain while doing a diaper change yet?

[Joe Dombrowski]

Fountain, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Fountain, yes, yes. You're. When you're changing a diaper five days

[Joe Dombrowski]

old, I bring this baby home. Five days old, this baby poops across the room with the force that can only be described as a Civil War cannon. I was so impressed, I grabbed the measuring tape four and a half feet across the room. It made a sound when it hit the wall. I didn't know that was possible. Also, nobody told me that babies burp like they're just sitting across the bar at the VFW and they've been drinking multiple times. Eating is the most vigorous. Deep belch. I don't know if I'm disgusted or proud.

[Chick McGee]

I'll be proud.

[Tom Griswold]

These are all good things. So when you recorded the special entitled dad on arrival, was the. The baby had been around for a while?

[Joe Dombrowski]

No, the baby was actually born about four days after the special was shot. Which is really cool when I go back and watch it because I look at it and I'm like, that's. I don't know who that person is. I'm not him. He is not me. Because now since the baby's been born, I have nothing upstairs. I have zero brain cells left. I'm going to be so real with you guys. I was with my husband. We drove past a casino last week and the sign said senior Night. And I said out loud, they're letting high schoolers in the casino. Not even kidding. I'm watching the news and it was like a woman from Tacoma is going through a rough period. I said, how much blood did she lose?

[Tom Griswold]

Joe Dombrowski is our guest. Joe's a great comedian. And Joe's new special on YouTube is called dad on Arrival. And the reason you can't think Joe is. Cause when you were filming the special, you'd been able to sleep. And I'm assuming that now that's no longer in the cards.

[Joe Dombrowski]

It's a different brand of torture being this sleep deprived I was counting out loud. I don't know. Everyone says count to the baby or sing to the baby. And the other day I was counting out loud to him. I was so tired I forgot the number. 12, 11.

[Chick McGee]

North.

[Joe Dombrowski]

Is it north? I don't know. They tell you to sing to the baby all the time. And my husband sings very practical songs. Very, very known, very worldly songs. I don't know what to sing. So I'll be changing my baby and all of a sudden I'll just be like from the window to the wall.

[Tom Griswold]

Now are you going to be able to go on the road anytime soon? What's happening with that aspect of your life?

[Joe Dombrowski]

I've already been back on the road, which has been fantastic. Both of our parents are retired, so they are coming in, stay with us and take care of the baby while I'm on the road, which has been super, super, super helpful with them here. The funny thing is though, is now I don't know if I ever told you guys. I'm an only child, so my parents are obsessed with me. They call it love, but the doctors call it Munchausen by proxy. They are moving here to be closer to their grandchild. And my dad is having a very hard time with like assimilating to Seattle. We were in the grocery store and he met a person and I had to tell my dad we had to go. And he goes, let me say goodbye. Let me say goodbye to my friend. And he goes, goodbye, it was nice to meet you and your wife. And the guy was like, oh, this isn't my wife, this is my girlfriend. That's my wife were polyamorous. And my dad said, holy hell, Joe, this guy can write with both hands. I if you want to have a

[Tom Griswold]

time, if you want to find Mr. Dombrowski, it's D O M Broski. And you can find his YouTube special, which I haven't seen it yet. I can't wait to watch. Joe is one of the funniest people ever and this your your life. This the one thing whenever you're having a bad day, say, wait a second. This kid is just nothing but material. This, this kid is my next special because it's going to be non stop activity.

[Joe Dombrowski]

Every minute with him is a new hour of material which is incredible. And I do have to say, you guys, thank you for having me on the show. The Bob and Todd fans are psycho. I have you guys in the comments still from my first appearance on the show. It's so cool to have people from all over the world write into me and tell me they found me from you. And I was just the other day thinking I was on your show 20 years too late, because 20 years ago, you better believe I would have done the Bob and Tom comedy tour. That sounded like a hell of a time.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm looking at your dates. Is this correct? Are you going to be in Honolulu now?

[Willie G]

Are you.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you. Are you taking your husband and baby? Or are you going to be calling them from Hawaii going, hi, guys.

[Joe Dombrowski]

This is probably like. This is the moment that I was like, all right, Joe. I'm very hard on myself, but I'm like, all right, Joe, you're doing okay. Like, it's gonna be all right. I am taking my husband, my baby, and both my parents for their 45th wedding anniversary to Hawaii for the whole week during the wonderful. I'm very, very proud to be able to do that.

[Josh Arnold]

May 16th is my birthday, so maybe you could take me and I will be the first person ever to wear Hawaiian flannel.

[Tom Griswold]

You know what? Skip the flannel.

[Joe Dombrowski]

I wan. You in a coconut. A cup, baby.

[TJ Miller]

Let's go.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, now, Joe, once again, we're speaking with the comedian Joe Dombrowski. Can you hold your left hand up for me?

[Joe Dombrowski]

This has to do with the ski at the end of my name, I bet.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I want to see if you're wearing a wedding ring.

[Joe Dombrowski]

Oh,

[Christy Lee]

Tom's obsessed because he just got married, so I got married over the weekend.

[Joe Dombrowski]

This is the thing. I can't change that baby's diaper with my ring on because I can't stop thinking about. Just bacteria.

[Tom Griswold]

That's why I waited. I had two kids with Kelly before I married her because of the ring.

[Joe Dombrowski]

Nice try, guy. Nice try.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that's great.

[Tom Griswold]

Joe Dombrowski is, as you can tell, one of the funniest, greatest guys out there. Terrific comedian, I would say. I don't know if you can get tickets for the Blue Note in Hawaii, May 16. What a great excuse to take off and go to Hawaii. I mean, you could go see. You could go see him in Houston, but let's. Let's face it.

[Joe Dombrowski]

Have you ever said to somebody, I'm all over the. I can't wait to come back to the Midwest. Let me tell you what, Joe, we gotta go.

[Tom Griswold]

What a great pleasure. Congratulations on the baby, and thank you. Nothing but good, good fortune will come your way. You're a great guy.

[Joe Dombrowski]

Thanks, guys. Always good to see you all. Take care, and we'll see you next time. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Thank you, Joe.

[Tom Griswold]

God, is he funny.

[Christopher]

Hey, Good morning, this is Christopher on this Monday morning Memorial Day weekend. And we are presenting you the best to the Bob and Tom show today. Coming up on the show later, Oliver and Jimmy Pardo, plus TJ Miller, DJ Dangler, Dave Dyer and lots more. But coming up in just a minute, a very funny segment from a very funny guy, Jamie Lisso. It's next here on the Bob and Tom show.

[Pat Godwin]

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[Josh Arnold]

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[Christopher]

welcome back to the Best of the Bob and Tom show on this Monday morning. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Here's a really funny guy and a really funny segment. Jimmy Lisso on the Best of the Bob and Tom show.

[Tom Griswold]

There he is. What a handsome man. I'm talking about Josh. There's also Jamie Lisso up there.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi, Jamie.

[Tom Griswold]

Looking good. Jamie, are you in a hotel room again?

[Jamie Lisso]

I am in a hotel room and I'm also using a heavy filter.

[Tom Griswold]

I like your, your hair. You got that kind of like little mini Superman pompadour going.

[Jamie Lisso]

Yeah, I like to wake up and I don't feel like I'm ready until I have an equilateral triangle.

[Tom Griswold]

Now does your, does your girlfriend coach you on how to dress?

[Christy Lee]

Wife.

[Pat Godwin]

He married her, remember?

[Josh Arnold]

We don't know what his girlfriend does,

[Tom Griswold]

but I'm so sorry.

[Chick McGee]

You told you that in confidence.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, your lovely wife, the doctor, the physician. Does She. I know she's coaching you on. With some health tips. Does she coach you on haircuts, way to dress, how to talk, what to think, where to go, what to do? Any of that stuff?

[Jamie Lisso]

She absolutely does. And just to be. Just to clear it up, my wife is, in fact, a doctor. My girlfriend's a physician's assistant. And can I tell you, she's very honest with me about whatever. I don't know if you've ever had, like, a girlfriend or wife sort of, like, look at another man and go, like, oh, man, that's a nice sweater. You know, Like, I like the way that guy. She just did that. She goes, man, look at that guy's fisherman sweater. You know? And so that night, I went on like, L.L. bean, and I bought a fisherman sweater. And it came about a week later, and she was coming out of the bathroom, and I put on this fisherman sweater, and I was like, this is gonna be. And I don't want to say she

[Chick McGee]

burst out laughing,

[Jamie Lisso]

but she. But I. I returned it within 24 hours. She's very honest with me about my. Yeah, she's picked out basically this. This entire outfit. I. I wouldn't know what to wear.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Without my wife, I wouldn't know what to do. You look. You look very nice. We're pleased to see you. Jamie Listo is one of America's finest comedians. I don't know how he does in Canada, but he flies over it a lot because he lives half the time in Alaska, and then the rest of the time you're in Idaho.

[Jamie Lisso]

Yep, yep, yep. In Canada, I'm about 70% as successful. That's the exchange rate for my comedy.

[Tom Griswold]

That tracks.

[Chick McGee]

That tracks, yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

What foreign countries have you. Have you played in. In the course of your comedy career?

[Jamie Lisso]

You know, the most foreign countries I did was on one big run where I did a military tour with Rob Schneider. So I. We did the. We did Korea and Japan, and we were in Honduras. I. I mean, I have bombed everywhere.

[Tom Griswold]

I just. Rob Schneider is in. What is it? Home alone 2.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And I just. I. That was on TV a lot over the. At my place. He's great in that. The next time you see him, just be the last one. I was talking to some guys. He's so good, and it's so funny. Now, were you strictly doing the shows for military folks, or were you, like. Did you have to play downtown Singapore and at the Chuckle Hut there?

[Jamie Lisso]

It was all military, and it was one of the hardest but most rewarding trips I have ever been on, like our armed forces just. We went to Greenland also, which is like the tip of the spear. And I don't know if we stole Greenland or not. I heard some news.

[Tom Griswold]

Not yet.

[Chick McGee]

That's right, not yet.

[Jamie Lisso]

Okay. But they were telling me when I visit, when we visit Greenland, they told us, not even joking. They said it's the only base where there's no fence around it because nobody's trying to get in. Like, it's so hard to get there. And yeah, all military, but like one of the most I'm actually doing next week I'm doing a military tour in Alaska because it just. I look back on that experience and just. I mean, it's just the greatest guys and ladies and everyone's so grateful. My hand hurts from shaking hands. And it's. It's good to have the hand heard from that for once.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. Not like the old days in a hotel room.

[Josh Arnold]

Exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

I see. I see.

[Jamie Lisso]

Exactly. We're speaking that time when I was, when I was married, I was, you know, to my ex wife. I was basically in home alone for most of that relationship.

[Tom Griswold]

Now I forgot if I. Are you a skier?

[Jamie Lisso]

I'm not, I'm not really. I'm not really a skier.

[Tom Griswold]

And you live ski and you're living in Idaho.

[Chick McGee]

Idaho.

[Jamie Lisso]

Living, Living in Idaho and Alaska, but I don't. In each of places, I don't do the things you're supposed to do. Like even in Alaska, I don't, I don't do the man stuff. I'm not, you know, I don't, I don't hunt or fish or. I'm not really, you know, you guys probably know this about me, but I'm not really what you would call like a man's man. In fact, some would argue I'm not even really what you would call a woman's man.

[Tom Griswold]

So now your wife is writing for you.

[Jamie Lisso]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

I. I forgot to ask you. You said you're in a hotel room. Where are you?

[Jamie Lisso]

So we are in New York City.

[Tom Griswold]

All right.

[Jamie Lisso]

Did a little Gutfeld show last night. I'm doing a. I believe I'm doing Story wars tonight. I don't know if you guys know that. It's a thing they do at the comedy club. I think I'm doing stories with Davitel.

[Chick McGee]

All right.

[Jamie Lisso]

And Big J Okerson, Lewis, J. Gomez. I'm doing that tonight. So, yeah, we're just hanging out in New York. So I apologize for any of the, the background noise. A lot of stuff going on in New York, even though it's early, I actually spend so much time here that when I'm in Boise, in order to go to sleep, I play an ambient noise machine. That's just a woman screaming sirens.

[Tom Griswold]

Who was the. Who was the. There was some famous comedian or actor that had his at home. Had a room that looked just like a Holiday Inn or something.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, so he could. He could go to sleep. I forget what. We were talking to him not too long. Remember that, Pat?

[Pat Godwin]

I do, but I don't remember the name.

[Chick McGee]

I remember Billy Crystal had a bathroom that was an exact replica of a bathroom on a plane. I remember that.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow, that's.

[Christy Lee]

Why would you want that?

[Chick McGee]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Jamie Lisso is our guest. Very fine stand up comedian. And do you have all those air miles? Is it on Air Alaska?

[Jamie Lisso]

It's mostly Air Alaskan, by the way. Speaking of that dude that had the, you know, the room in his house, it was like a hotel. To make it more comfortable for the first 10 years of comedy, when I got home, I actually slept with a roommate just to kind of echo that experience of the comedy condo. Yeah, it's mostly, mostly Alaskan air. And I would leave a bunch of old jars of mayonnaise and ketchup and stuff. And mostly Alaska air.

[Tom Griswold]

I bring it up because I don't know if you saw in the paper the other day, Alaska Air just bought more jets than any other company.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they bought from Boeing 100 jets.

[Tom Griswold]

So they said. We got the money from Jamie Lisso. He's used our airline so much now. What else is on your mind these days? Anything happening in your life?

[Mr. Obvious]

Yeah, so.

[Jamie Lisso]

So it kind of is. I've been. What I've been doing is I've been kind of collecting some stories. And what I thought I would ask you guys about is sometimes you hear somebody tell a story and in the story they feel like they were the hero of the story or the angel, as it were. But then you hear from your friends or someone in your family that they don't agree, maybe you're the villain. So what I thought was, because we have some great minds in the room, I thought I would read you guys some stories from some people that feel like they definitely did the right thing and were the angel in this scenario. And I'd like to hear from you guys to either validate these guys or disagree with them, whether you think the person in the story is the angel or the villain. And what's kind of fun is two of these stories are from just like fans, like listeners.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Jamie Lisso]

But one of them is me. It's my story.

[Tom Griswold]

All right?

[Jamie Lisso]

And I was wondering if the end of these three stories, I would love you guys to guess which one you think actually is a story that happened to me.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I love this.

[Chick McGee]

All right.

[Jamie Lisso]

Okay, so here's the first one. I bought my wife and I tickets to Paris for our first wedding anniversary. I got upgraded to first class, and I gave the seat to my wife because I thought that was a really nice thing to do. We had such a great time in Paris, but she cannot get over the fact that for our anniversary, we didn't get to sit together for that very long trip to Paris. I feel like I was being the angel. She disagrees, thinks that it was not the right thing to do. And that said, on the way home, I sat in first class and made her sit in coaches. I made that part up. So I would love to know what. What do you guys think about this? I've had kind of similar situations. And what do you think if you give your, you know, wife first class, do you feel like that's an angel move or a villain?

[Christy Lee]

I think it's an angel move. Absolutely.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

You sleep most of the time on those overnight flights anyway. It's not. But I mean, that's a. It was a wonderful thing to do, sir.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, when she landed in Paris, was she going out on dates with the French guy sitting next to her?

[Jamie Lisso]

Yeah, she. She eventually married the man in the middle seat.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I guess you did the right thing.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

What do you think?

[Josh Arnold]

I feel like I would have known to go, hey, you know what? No, thanks. This is our anniversary. We're going to sit together.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

I feel like I would have turned

[Christy Lee]

in your first class ticket, maybe, and then asked to be put in the back.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, because he was upgrade on the spot.

[Tom Griswold]

So those. Those overseas flights, first class, you get a place you can lie down.

[Josh Arnold]

Look, I totally get it, but I

[Tom Griswold]

also supposed to being cramped up.

[Josh Arnold]

I feel like I. Yeah, I've talked to women before.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you're probably right.

[Jamie Lisso]

I find that hard to believe.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, what's the second story?

[Jamie Lisso]

All right, second story. By the way, I don't know if you guys know this is possible, but I've been in first class before on a free upgrade. And I had the stewardess wake me up and go, serge, want to let you know you've been downgraded.

[Chick McGee]

What?

[Jamie Lisso]

But her tone was that of someone giving good news. Swear to God, this is a true story. Story number Two, I was on an airplane the other day, and this is a travel, travel themed. Travel theme today. I was on an airplane the other day and a man who I couldn't identify kept passing gas. It was silent but very lethal. After about an hour of this, I stood up and made an announcement. I said, whoever is doing that, you need to stop. We can't take it anymore. I thought I was being an angel, but my wife thought it was a little over the top. I feel like I was protecting the other passengers and allowing everyone to have a better flight. But my wife completely disagreed and thought I should have just left it alone.

[Pat Godwin]

What do you guys think about that?

[Josh Arnold]

I think the wife, I think she was the farter.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, do you?

[Josh Arnold]

If she's the.

[Tom Griswold]

Or it's the he who smelt it, dealt it. Oh, and the other people around you are thinking it's this guy. He's trying to divert our attention.

[Josh Arnold]

I like what this guy did. I'm going to say hero.

[Christy Lee]

No, no, no.

[Tom Griswold]

You mean the guy that stood up

[Christy Lee]

or the guy that leave it alone?

[Josh Arnold]

The guy that stood up and said, hey, whoever that is, knock it off. I like it.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't.

[Jamie Lisso]

You know, when I have really bad gas, I take that first class seat. I don't care if it's my anniversary.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, sure.

[Jamie Lisso]

All right, our third story. Our last story. I was on an airplane the other day and an old man sitting next to me was listening to a movie on his phone with no earbuds coming out of the speaker. And so I pretended to have to use the restroom and I reported him to the flight attendant.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Jamie Lisso]

She quickly came over, told me I had to turn it off, and he did. He then sat and stared at the seat in front of him for five hours on the flight. Am I an angel for looking out for the other passengers or a villain for ruining an old man's flight?

[Christy Lee]

You're an angel, angel.

[Josh Arnold]

And I don't know that you ruined that. This person ruined the old man's flight. The men can sit and stare and be completely fine.

[Christy Lee]

And the man could have put it on closed captioning and still watched it if he didn't have earbuds.

[Tom Griswold]

Know, shouldn't you put on your earbuds and knock him away?

[Christy Lee]

They say, don't they, when you're on a plane, if you're listening, you have to wear earphones or earbuds.

[Tom Griswold]

But I mean, you could put yours on just to silence him.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, but that's a good point.

[Jamie Lisso]

They all. Yeah, they also say to turn your phone off and I don't do that either.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, I know. Yeah. What do you think, Chris?

[Josh Arnold]

I think this person was fine in doing that.

[Tom Griswold]

I'd say.

[Christy Lee]

No, no, I think. I think the old man should have.

[Tom Griswold]

Unless it was a really offensive movie.

[Christy Lee]

So you're gonna let the guy go ahead and listen to the movie on his speaker.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh. Cause I'm gonna pop my earbuds in. I'm not gonna. It's not gonna. I'm not gonna hear anything.

[Josh Arnold]

So the answer is yes. He's gonna allow it to happen.

[Christy Lee]

I wouldn't allow. I would have. I would have told on him.

[Joe Dombrowski]

You're gonna be.

[Josh Arnold]

In fact, I wouldn't have gone to the flight attendant. I would have talked to the guy.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Jamie Lisso]

Oh, I like that.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Would you have said, look, if you don't stop that, I'm gonna keep farting? Yes, exactly.

[Christopher]

We're coming right back with a sports bra and a stupid world record. Hope you're having a good morning. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Bob and Tom,

[Josh Arnold]

your summer starts now with Memorial Day deals at the Home Depot. It's time to fire up summer cookouts with the next grill 4 burner gas grill on special. Buy for only $199 and entertain all

[Chick McGee]

season with the Hampton bay West Grove

[Josh Arnold]

7 piece outdoor dining set set for only $499. This Memorial Day get low prices guaranteed

[Chick McGee]

at the Home Depot while supplies Last price invalid May 14th or May 27th.

[Josh Arnold]

US only exclusions apply.

[Chick McGee]

See home depot.com price match for details.

[Christopher]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show on this Memorial Day Monday. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Here's a story about a sports bra. It's actually a. It's actually a sports place where you go. We'll hear about that and we'll get a stupid world record. On this Monday morning, we have completed our sports broadcast.

[Chick McGee]

Well, well, we have one more addition.

[Tom Griswold]

Good to know.

[Chick McGee]

The Sports Bra is a sports bar dedicated exclusively to women's sports. And they have announced an Indianapolis location coming this summer. Oh. The bar will open at 15 East Maryland according to the company. The location sits of course, steps away from Gainbridge field house where the Fever and the Pacers play. Co owners Eve Keller and Jenny White will lead the Indianapolis franchise. We chose 15 East Maryland because women's sports deserve to live in the same geography as everything else. We celebrate right in the flow of Indianapolis's energy. That's cool. That's from Eve Keller. The Sports Bra Indy will Showcase local and professional teams including the Fever, Indy, Ignite, the volleyball team. Also the National Women's Soccer League, Professional Women's Hockey League and Athletes Unlimited. The opening of the Sports Brawl in Indianapolis. Another powerful signal that the women's sports and women in sports in general, not just growing their lead.

[Tom Griswold]

How many locations?

[Chick McGee]

There's this one and one in Portland. Oh, so there you go. It would have been nice. I, I would think that they wanted to probably get it before the Final Four, but it won't be ready until maybe the Fever season. So there you go. The Sports. I like the name.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I do too.

[Chick McGee]

Right?

[Josh Arnold]

Was Lesbos already taken?

[Christy Lee]

I knew you guys were sitting there.

[Pat Godwin]

You guys, look at me. That was all Jeff.

[Chick McGee]

That was all Oscar. Went alone on that solo on that one.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, sure. Oh, I thought of it. But I, I thought I'd do decency.

[Chick McGee]

So much for getting a free meal at Sports Bra.

[Josh Arnold]

That bar is not for you, chick.

[Christy Lee]

I, I, well, it is if he likes women sports.

[Chick McGee]

That's right. I'm trying to get a hookup with the Ignite right now. Go up there, watch the volleyball game.

[Tom Griswold]

What else have you got? That's it.

[Chick McGee]

Good night, Tom. Here's Christy with the news.

[Tom Griswold]

What did I just print?

[Christy Lee]

I thought you had a world record.

[Chick McGee]

I forgot where I put it. A giant female python. Here it is. Hang on a second. Stupid world record.

[Pat Godwin]

Unbelievable.

[Chick McGee]

Unbelievable. The unprofessionalism of this.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

How does he. Oh my God. How does that, how does he ever come into. Python? Found in Indonesia. Has been crowned the world's longest wild snake. Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Interrupt me.

[Chick McGee]

That's professional. I just want to say. Unbelievable.

[Tom Griswold]

As you know, Josh was in the hospital two weeks, weeks ago. And it's my understanding from the hospital that Josh was also given the crown. The longest snake in captivity.

[Chick McGee]

That, that, that, that. So hollow. What you just said.

[Josh Arnold]

I needed two gowns.

[Chick McGee]

Ah, the snake, which was discovered in the Moros region of Sulawesi. I believe we have a vrbo there. I think Guinness noted. Oh, oh, you and your similes. Get us noted that if placed across a standard FIFA goal. We're all incredibly familiar with that. You just said you wanted to go

[Josh Arnold]

watch a soccer game.

[Chick McGee]

These, that's volleyball. Ding dong.

[Tom Griswold]

The snake would substitute volleyball net.

[Chick McGee]

The snake would stretch.

[Dave Dyer]

It's two.

[Chick McGee]

It's 23ft. Everybody knows how long 23ft is. But it only weighs 213 pounds.

[Josh Arnold]

It seems it does.

[Chick McGee]

Doesn't that seem thin for a snake?

[Josh Arnold]

Maybe that long.

[Tom Griswold]

No arms and legs.

[Christy Lee]

Maybe he was hungry. And she hadn't eaten yet.

[Chick McGee]

Wait a minute. I think he's on something.

[Tom Griswold]

Slithering, massive body.

[Chick McGee]

It's been named Eboo Baron, which translates to the Baroness. Ah, cool. Baroness.

[Josh Arnold]

We have a picture of it. It's massive. To look at it, you would think more than 230.

[Chick McGee]

Absolutely.

[Tom Griswold]

Look at that dude standing, holding the tail.

[Jamie Lisso]

That's a.

[Chick McGee]

That's the dude I would think would hold the tail.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, the head is about the size of a human head.

[Christy Lee]

So is it dead?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Pat Godwin]

That's what I was gonna ask.

[Christy Lee]

What do you mean, no? So the guy has got the tail wrapped around his neck and it's still alive?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah, it is.

[Chick McGee]

According to Tom, that snake is alive.

[Pat Godwin]

Alive?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they named it the Baroness.

[Chick McGee]

It's alive.

[Tom Griswold]

That's not gonna kill it.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, I would hope they wouldn't.

[Tom Griswold]

Look at the two different poses it's in.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, you can do that with a desk.

[Chick McGee]

No, you can't.

[Tom Griswold]

They harden up their.

[Joe Dombrowski]

It's.

[Tom Griswold]

They get snake. Snake rigor.

[Chick McGee]

Morris,

[Tom Griswold]

you could use that thing as a telephone pole if it was dead.

[Chick McGee]

For photos.

[Josh Arnold]

Of course he's alive.

[Chick McGee]

It's alive.

[Pat Godwin]

It's got its tail up on his shoulder.

[Christy Lee]

If it were alive, it would be squishing that man to death.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, no, I'm, I'm. I'm with Tom on this. Maybe he's not hungry.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't know? Maybe there's a guy in there already. Maybe his buddy's in there.

[Chick McGee]

I couldn't. I couldn't possibly eat another person. I just ate a person.

[Josh Arnold]

It's huge.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't they eat something then sit around for a couple months digesting?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah, absolutely. And if, yeah, if there were a person that you'd see it right now.

[Christy Lee]

You see the person inside it?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah. It would be a huge lump.

[Chick McGee]

Remember that woman who got eaten by. And you could see the silhouette of her inside the snake. Remember that? That.

[Tom Griswold]

It's like them cartoons, you know, where someone swallows something you can see the exact outline of. It's the same thing.

[Christy Lee]

Is it?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. There we go. So that's that sports.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. I'm glad I found that world record exciting.

[Tom Griswold]

We were talking about giant snakes.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, we were.

[Tom Griswold]

20, 23 foot of.

[Chick McGee]

Christy, what's going on at the news desk?

[Christy Lee]

Well, scientists have identified a so called G spot on the male member.

[Chick McGee]

Here we go.

[Christy Lee]

According to the new study, the frenular delta appears to be the main erogenous zone of the penis.

[Tom Griswold]

That's my favorite kind of blues music. Oh, the frenula. Frenula Delta.

[Josh Arnold]

Right, Right. Just south of the tip on the

[Chick McGee]

bottom part, on the underside.

[Christy Lee]

Also known as the banjo string.

[Chick McGee]

Huh.

[Christy Lee]

I've never heard that.

[Josh Arnold]

We've talked about this sort of being the male.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Taurus before.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. The man in the boat.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

It's located on the underside of the male member where the shaft meets the head.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I thought the whole thing was pretty.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, the whole thing's not bad.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, it's good.

[Christy Lee]

Scientists said it's richly innervated, engorged with veins and nerves by particularly overlapping perennial and dorsal nerve branches.

[Chick McGee]

What do you use for perennials in your house?

[Christy Lee]

It's actually perineal. Sorry. Concentrations of nerve bundles and corpuscular receptors.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, brother.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, well, those are all anatomical terms.

[Tom Griswold]

What are they telling us?

[Josh Arnold]

We don't know nothing.

[Tom Griswold]

This is like the wizard of Oz. You mean it was sensitive all the time and you didn't tell?

[Christy Lee]

And by the way, why do they call it the banjo string? I've never heard that before.

[Josh Arnold]

I've never heard the banjo string either, but I get it. There's. You can. Kind of looks like it's a friend. The French is also the thing on the bottom of your tongue.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

You can kind of see that on the. The wean.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

That looks like a banjo string.

[Josh Arnold]

No, I don't know why it's called that.

[Chick McGee]

What does yours look like? Does it look. Can I get a look?

[Josh Arnold]

Maybe.

[Christy Lee]

Looks like a standing bass string.

[Tom Griswold]

It looks like. It looks like the span of the Mackinac Bridge, man.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know what happened in Michigan when you were imprinted, but if you

[Josh Arnold]

open the door while you're driving on Tom's penis, you can see the.

[Chick McGee]

It looks like you're floating water over the Mackinac.

[Tom Griswold]

I know. I'm sorry. Philistines. The frenular.

[Christy Lee]

Frenular.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it's called the.

[Chick McGee]

There's frenular and frenulum.

[Tom Griswold]

But isn't. You said it's called the frenular delta.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, I did.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Josh, don't you have frequent flyer miles from the frenular delta?

[Mr. Obvious]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you a frequent frenula flyer?

[Josh Arnold]

I have the little wings pin as well.

[Christy Lee]

Well, a court in Britain cannot rule on which identical twin was fathered. The child. Okay, so you have identical. You have a gal that slept with both twins. Apparently. And she has a child, and they don't know which one's the daddy.

[Chick McGee]

Where's Maury Povich when we need him?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I don't think DNA tests will tell You.

[Christy Lee]

They can't tell you.

[Chick McGee]

I don't believe it.

[Tom Griswold]

Aren't identical twins DNA identical?

[Chick McGee]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

I'd have to look it up. I would assume.

[Chick McGee]

I've always heard there are three strands.

[Joe Dombrowski]

It's not.

[Chick McGee]

They're not. They're just a little different.

[Christy Lee]

I want to know how that came of being.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't understand this.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I know. It's real simple.

[Christy Lee]

She slept with brothers.

[Tom Griswold]

She slept with the. She slept with both the twins.

[Chick McGee]

You're not telling me that it doesn't happen if you marry identical twins and you can tell apart that you accidentally slip and fall into the wrong one.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't think it was an accident. I think. I think this lady's kind of round healed and.

[Christy Lee]

Maybe they had an agreement. Maybe they. Maybe it was the devil's three way. We don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

These are all fair questions. We'll find out.

[Chick McGee]

Twin brother? No, twin. Twin brothers with one girl.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

That's your Eiffel Tower.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Christopher]

Coming up next hour on the Best of the Bob and Tom Show. Tom got married and comedian DJ Dangler. But next, Dave Dyer is coming up.

[Tom Griswold]

Stick around.

[Christopher]

This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christy Lee]

Experience a membership that backs your business journey with American Express Business Platinum. When you pay with membership rewards points for all or part of an eligible flight booked with a qualifying airline through Amex Travel, you can get 35% of those points back, up to 1 million points back per calendar year. American Express Business Platinum. There's nothing like it. Terms apply. Learn more at American Express Business Platinum.

[Christopher]

Hope you're having a great Monday morning. This is Christopher and the Bob and Tom Studios. And this is the best of the Bob and Tom show for a long Memorial Day weekend. Here's a segment. Pretty funny guy, mustache guy, firefighter. It's comedian Dave Dyer coming up.

[Tom Griswold]

I can answer your question, Josh, about whether or not you can own a dead body.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

It's an interesting answer. But right now we are joined. Surprise guest is comedian Dave Dyer. Oh, with the mustache. The mustache is back.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi, Dave.

[Dave Dyer]

It's back.

[Tom Griswold]

And the shoes you need, you just need a big hoop earring. And you, you will look like. Like Mr. Clean. I think it is.

[Dave Dyer]

Well, I, I have the mustache back because I still have a bunch of T shirts from when I had the mustache and that's the logo. And it's tough to push the T shirts without the mustache.

[Tom Griswold]

And I want to ask a technical question. Besides being a comedian, you actually are a legit firefighter.

[Dave Dyer]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you? Because you have to wear, I assume, certain types of face masks. It's professionally. Are you allowed to have a beard? Do they still work?

[Dave Dyer]

Nope, nope. No beards. Now, now here's why. Because that, that mask on our SCBA has to make a tight seal on her face. That's why firefighters, if you, if they grow anything, usually it's just a mustache. So you can't have anything around here so that. That mass doesn't form a seal.

[Tom Griswold]

Makes sense. Yeah, makes sense. And the shaved head, is that also a professional requirement or is that nature? No, genetics.

[Dave Dyer]

This is, this is the last resort. This is all I have left. This is. It looks like if I grow my hair out for even a week, I look 93 years old, so.

[Tom Griswold]

You look really good, Christy. Am I right? Not every, not every, not everybody can pull off the shaved head. I think you do.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm getting a young Robert Devolve.

[Pat Godwin]

Absolutely.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm getting a middle aged Elmer Fudd.

[Pat Godwin]

Well.

[Christy Lee]

Well, nice.

[Chick McGee]

You know what?

[Dave Dyer]

I'll take whatever helps the career.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Our guest is comedian Dave Dyer. He is indeed a firefighter. You just getting off shift?

[Chick McGee]

I did.

[Dave Dyer]

I got off at 7 this morning. We had a car fire on the highway last night. That was our big excitement for the day yesterday.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, man.

[Dave Dyer]

Yeah, it wasn't actually a big deal. It was. It was a. Well, I mean, it came out as a car fire, but what happened is that this kid had a piece of cardboard in the back of his pickup that somehow with the wind blew between the cab and the bed in that little slot and was lying on top of the exhaust system. And started on fire.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Dave Dyer]

So he pulled over and a good Samaritan pulled over with a, with a dry chem extinguisher and put it out. So by the time we got there, the fun was all over.

[Josh Arnold]

What are the odds?

[Christy Lee]

No joke. Do you keep a dry chem extinguisher in your car?

[Tom Griswold]

Not anymore. I don't. But I. I once did, and I once put out in Orlando. I put out a guy's car that was on fire and I was kind of pissed that he didn't offer to buy me another one.

[Jamie Lisso]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

No, because they're expensive.

[Dave Dyer]

Yeah, they're 40.

[Willie G]

40.

[Tom Griswold]

I am totally serious. I pulled over. It was. It was the middle of the day in Orlando and I was in. If you ever.

[Chick McGee]

I was such a busybody.

[Tom Griswold]

I saved the guy's car. The guy's car was on fire.

[Josh Arnold]

Good Samaritans. And there are sore Samaritans.

[Tom Griswold]

I just don't. You Think after.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, that's.

[Tom Griswold]

Thanks. How much, by the way? How much owe you for the fire extinguisher? Yeah, it was 80 bucks.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, you just.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, he probably didn't even think about how much your fire extinguisher.

[Tom Griswold]

Now you're probably asking why was I carrying a fire extinguisher. My level of paranoia was huge even then.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Wasn't the thank you enough enough? Thank you very much. No, no,

[Dave Dyer]

no.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, I guess it's. It's pay it forward. Someday, maybe someone will save you.

[Chick McGee]

Or maybe someday they won't.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I mean, I'm. I'm super sensitive. I've got those fire blankets. I've got eight fire extinguisher at my house. Every kind of alarm known to man. And please, if you're listening, please, for God's sake, get a carbon monoxide detector

[Christy Lee]

if you have guests.

[Chick McGee]

Yep. That's a huge thing.

[Tom Griswold]

A big thing. I'm sorry. We're talking with comedian Dave Dyer, and Dave and I actually had an interesting conversation, and I found out you actually recorded it and you posted it somewhere.

[Dave Dyer]

Yes, I did. I have a new podcast. It's a very unique, creative idea. Not a lot of people have heard of these, but it's. Yes. I started something called tight 10 with Dave Dyer, and it's basically, Josh will know and comedians will know. Tight 10 means a tight 10 minutes. Well, they're not 10 minutes long. It's 10 questions, and I have all sorts of different guests on it and from all different walks of life. There's a lot of comedians, there's radio icons like Tom Griswold. But one of my guests was a very good photographer of mine. Another one was a gal who's a fashion designer in Grand Rapids. Brian Vanderaart from the Verve Pipe was one of my guests. And it's 10 questions. Some of them are silly, but some of them are more in depth about what people do in their careers. And I love. I love interviewing people. I love talking to people from all different walks of life about what they do, how they do it, and there's. There's a comic element to it. It's. It's a funny.

[Christy Lee]

When you.

[Tom Griswold]

When you. You asked for my pin number and my.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah,

[Chick McGee]

I thought that was a little personal intrusive. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't mind talking about my sex life, but, I mean, really, Dave is a very funny comedian, and I'm. And a serious firefighter, I think.

[Chick McGee]

Yes. Good.

[Tom Griswold]

Good for you, Dave.

[Josh Arnold]

Would you ever.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Would you ever Interview one of your kids or your wife?

[Dave Dyer]

I would.

[Chick McGee]

I'll tell you what.

[Dave Dyer]

I would interview one of my kids. I think my wife would want no part of it.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Dave Dyer]

I think. And not because she dislikes me. I think she just wouldn't want to. She just wouldn't want to do my daughters. Yeah, I'd love to. I'd love to interview one of my daughters.

[Josh Arnold]

It's got to be a real fun being a parent when your kids still surprise you. That's got to be such a great feeling of. I had no idea you were interested in. In that.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I have some questions. How about this one?

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

When are you gonna pay me back the hundreds of thousands of dollars I've spent on your education? When are you gonna take me to Disney World and pay for all the rides? Wow.

[Dave Dyer]

I think you can kiss that invoice goodbye.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Okay. Well, Dave, it was really fun talking to you. And Dave and I. Thank you are. In a way, I'm kind of a Michiganian. Slash. Do you go with game. Yeah. Or do you go with Michigander?

[Dave Dyer]

Michigander.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. That's got a more masculine feel. Michiganian sounds kind of Michigan. Sounds like you're Armenian. Yeah. Yeah, the Armenians very fine Armenians. Spent some time in Michigan. That'd be me and Bob now. Well, thanks, Dave.

[Dave Dyer]

Thank you for having me. Appreciate it. Tight ten with Dave Dyer. Wherever you're gonna change your life.

[Christy Lee]

Okay. All right.

[Chick McGee]

Well, everywhere.

[Josh Arnold]

Hearing it.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. But Dave held your. Did you have a. Is that a tattoo on your arm there?

[Chick McGee]

There?

[Dave Dyer]

Yes, I do. Yeah. This one right here, it says it's an arrow, and the shaft of the arrow says forward. Now, I. I got this as a positive message to my daughters that this is the only direction our family moves in. However, since getting this, my oldest daughter's moved back home twice. So maybe you should have got here. I'm going to get one over here that says reverse for the next time she comes back.

[Tom Griswold]

Very good. Where do you get the PODC anyway? You just.

[Josh Arnold]

Anywhere.

[Dave Dyer]

You get Apple, podcast, Amazon Music, YouTube.

[Tom Griswold]

Shut up. Okay, we got 10 with Hang up the phone days visit, brought to you by Lee's famous recipe chicken. That's awesome. Now, we were talking about.

[Christy Lee]

Is that a video podcast or just audio?

[Tom Griswold]

I was at my. In sitting in my house with a. The. The thing. The camera thingy on.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

So I guess I had to.

[Christy Lee]

So you have no idea.

[Tom Griswold]

It was pretty funny because I just. My computer is on this stand and the way it sits. If you. If you answer the zoom on it, whatever all you can see was the top of my head. So I had to get a couple of books and prop the thing up, and it was a disaster.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, you don't use a laptop, do you? You have just.

[Tom Griswold]

I hate laptops.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Perfectly reasonable, a laptop.

[Christy Lee]

You could just go.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, then I don't want. Now, Josh, you wanted to know if you could own a dead body.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I think there will eventually be a market for celebrity skeleton skeletons.

[Chick McGee]

I thought somebody did. No, Michael brought the. The Elephant man, but. Yeah, I thought somebody else had.

[Tom Griswold]

Human bodies are not treated like ordinary property in the United States. There are very, very heavy restrictions on what it takes to actually own a human body. And it also depends on the state you live in, if you're. If you're not buried in them. And even then, there are restrictions and all kinds of licensing things. Essentially, owning a human skeleton is only legal if it is legally obtained, and they. And it cannot. For example, it is not legal to own Native American remains.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

They're protected under federal law, and it's illegal to own even certain medical spec. It's very complicated to answer your question with a vague.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's okay. Laws can change. And we'll see. We'll see if there is eventually a market for.

[Tom Griswold]

But if you want to get into some heavy reading, which I don't have time for. Grave robbing. Really interesting.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, the market.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, it was a thing for sure.

[Christy Lee]

Definitely.

[Josh Arnold]

Medical research and hair. Dr. William Hunter.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

So how do you. Does it give any parameters for legally obtaining.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Dead body.

[Tom Griswold]

It depends on the state. And keep the receipt, I guess. They have to be. And this is. It just seems to be. Be reading this phrase. It must be legally sourced.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that makes sense. Otherwise you get your necrophiliacs and.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, oh. And you're. You're haunted by.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, well, the hauntings are. Yeah, that's.

[Chick McGee]

That might happen. Anyway.

[Tom Griswold]

That goes without saying.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

But I mean, there is a market for illegal tr. It's just rather unpleasant, but. So, Josh, whether or not you could once again, but auction off the rights for your body when you die.

[Josh Arnold]

Just my skeleton. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want anybody. I don't want to be. Yeah, you don't want lacquered and then,

[Christy Lee]

you know, you don't want to be in that exhibit that's going to be.

[Tom Griswold]

Right now is. Are you going to specify how you want the skeleton to reach its skeletal state?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. An acid bath followed by. Boil everything else off the bones. And what if.

[Tom Griswold]

What If.

[Josh Arnold]

What if?

[Tom Griswold]

I think you should. I think you're. You're really leaving money on the table. Which I know is one of your favorite phrases.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I think there should be different levels of bidding. Someone could, you know, bid cover your body in honey and have it having all the flesh pecked off in a field.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I see. This skeleton talk wigs me out. It really does.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. So sorry. You got. There's a skeleton in there. There's a skeleton in Olive Us.

[Chick McGee]

Now you're here, you need that stitched on a pillow.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, you can take the skeleton out of a man, but he'd die. He would pass down.

[Christy Lee]

It'd just be a bowl of jello.

[Pat Godwin]

There's a skeleton.

[Chick McGee]

We'd be. We'd be squids.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a skeleton. I love it. If you. If you deliver it just with the right spit. Ah. There's a skeleton in all of it.

[Josh Arnold]

Isn't there, though?

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't know.

[Christopher]

We're coming right back with another great comedian. It's DJ Dangler on this Monday morning. Come on back.

[Mr. Obvious]

Welcome back.

[Christopher]

This is the best of the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Bob and Tom,

[Christy Lee]

tomorrow morning is knocking. Stock your fridge now. How about a creamy mocha Frappuccino drink? Or a sweet vanilla smooth caramel, maybe? Or a white chocolate mocha? Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits. Find Starbucks Frappuccino drinks wherever you buy your groceries.

[Christopher]

Welcome back to the best of the Bob and Tom show on a Monday. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Here's a great segment with another funny guy with a big beard.

[Tom Griswold]

It's DJ Dangler hanging out with us in the studio. It's the man, the beard, DJ Dangler.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, everybody.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, Deej.

[Tom Griswold]

That is a serious beard.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I am. I am mostly beard now. And I. I have to say, last time I was here, they pointed out, chick, you weren't here and they.

[Josh Arnold]

They outed you.

[Chick McGee]

They said, you hate this look. Oh, you hate the big beard, bald head. I. I'm of the school of thought that the length of the hair on your head should match your beard.

[Josh Arnold]

I, I'm. I. The reverse mullet.

[Chick McGee]

Like, this is okay. No, like, that's what I'm like. Yeah, it's a carnival up front.

[Tom Griswold]

I always say up front.

[Chick McGee]

Butcher shop in the back. That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Not everybody can pull it off. I think you do, but it's very much your look.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's fine. I couldn't pull that look off.

[Christy Lee]

I've never tried.

[Chick McGee]

It carries.

[Christy Lee]

How do you know.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, because I know if I tried, I'd be living in an apartment.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I see. Alone. So it's not that you can't, it's. You're not allowed.

[TJ Miller]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

And I. But I wouldn't.

[Chick McGee]

It's no way to live, boy.

[Tom Griswold]

It's not my look.

[Chick McGee]

Well, what you don't know to try.

[Christy Lee]

See, we're having this at our house because I like my husband's hair a little longer and he likes it shorter. And

[Tom Griswold]

you got a. You've got a bargaining chip you're sitting on. Sorry. Wait, wait.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Pat Godwin]

He makes sex.

[Tom Griswold]

I didn't mean to say that out loud.

[Chick McGee]

Pay no attention. Use sex as a weapon. Yeah, that's right.

[Tom Griswold]

No, but dj, you do. That look works for you.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

In fact, if you didn't have the beard, I wouldn't recognize you. It would really throw me off.

[Josh Arnold]

I look ridiculous without a beard. I look like.

[Chick McGee]

I look like a fat Mr. Clean.

[Christy Lee]

When was the last time you saw yourself clean shaven?

[Chick McGee]

About a year ago.

[Willie G]

About a year and a half ago.

[Tom Griswold]

You look like a. Like a. More goyish Allen Ginsberg.

[Mr. Obvious]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Does that work for anybody?

[Chick McGee]

He just wanted to say goyish. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's true.

[Chick McGee]

I mean, I like it. I've seen. I've seen the worst minds of my generation wrecked by madness.

[Tom Griswold]

We got a guy, he's cracked open a book.

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Howell, now, a couple things we're trying to dig up for you. I've got a odd connection to sports coming up with. Earrings, of course, because we just had some nice earrings from I Hate Stephen Singer. Did you find it? Okay, here we go. Pop this on the screen. This is something going around.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a couple different versions of these in this case. These are little square earrings that look like the logo of Marlboro cigarettes.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

If you just glance at it, your brain tells you it's a Marlboro logo.

[Josh Arnold]

Is your wife, girlfriend, or mother a complete dirt bag?

[Christy Lee]

How many?

[Mr. Obvious]

How many?

[Tom Griswold]

These are great, though. What? It's this.

[Josh Arnold]

How many miles would you have had

[Tom Griswold]

to have collected for those, they say a signetti.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Of course. And it's also. It's kind of the colors of Indiana

[Christy Lee]

University, red and crimson and.

[Josh Arnold]

But it's every bit a Marlborough.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

There's also a version of these earrings that I saw a minute ago online where it's two cigarettes. I mean, it looks like they're two real cigarettes dangling from this woman's ears.

[Josh Arnold]

Lovely.

[Tom Griswold]

In honor of the Gorgeous. We're honoring the coach.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But if it weren't for some fascist government, we could have cigarette commercials. Still.

[Josh Arnold]

I like this stance. Being angry. There aren't cigarettes ads.

[Chick McGee]

I miss the good old days. Cartoons were smoking in between cartoons where

[Christy Lee]

everybody smoked wherever they wanted. You want to go back to that?

[Chick McGee]

Show us your Kent. Remember that?

[Tom Griswold]

If they were allowed to spend money on this show. Absolutely. That almost took out the magazine business when they took away the cigarette. Cigarette ads. And how about the world of racing?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Remember all the.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, the Marlboro car.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, sure.

[Chick McGee]

Winston cup, for gosh.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Were they. Was that a law though, though that there's no cigarette ads on cars?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. There. You can't have many more.

[Mr. Obvious]

Wow.

[Christy Lee]

They kept the color scheme on some, but you couldn't put Marlboro on it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. There was the. There was The Marlboro car.

[Josh Arnold]

Three of them.

[Tom Griswold]

Weren't there three of them.

[Josh Arnold]

one point I remember very well. But I just. That's. But yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

This is a playful way to get to the coach.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And because of his. The first part of his name is C. Big. So now we can get away from that. Apparently no one thought that was as amusing as I did.

[Josh Arnold]

No, not at all.

[Chick McGee]

Not at all.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

Don't let it.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you find the picture of the super hot lady wearing the. That doesn't prove dangling cigarettes. No. She's some hot.

[Josh Arnold]

No co Ed. Those earrings are for like women who work on barges.

[Chick McGee]

When's the last time you saw a woman that works on a bar?

[Christy Lee]

Josh? Wait a minute. Is she a football fan? Is that why she's wearing the earrings? Earrings?

[Josh Arnold]

I just don't.

[Christy Lee]

Unless you're an iu.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a tough broad wearing Marlboro esque earrings.

[Chick McGee]

Not as tough as the chick with the skull chewing tobacco earrings.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah. That's a really.

[Chick McGee]

That woman is the toughest.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Where do you stand on gauges? They're little circles you put in your ear. The lobe.

[Josh Arnold]

Do I. I think they're. I think sometimes they look cool.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I think a guy like you DJ could pull it off.

[Willie G]

They can look fine. But I'm going to do just a

[Chick McGee]

little bit of reporting. I don't. Okay. They smell bad.

[Josh Arnold]

I've always heard that.

[Willie G]

Really?

[Christy Lee]

Really.

[Chick McGee]

I had a. I had a girlfriend with like gauged ears and if she would change them out in the car, it would be worse than any stink I've ever made.

[Josh Arnold]

Right. But even earrings. If you smell the back of a lot of any typical woman's earring it reeks.

[Christy Lee]

It's bad.

[Josh Arnold]

It can clear a room.

[Chick McGee]

And it's kind of a weird, funny thing to know that you're like, oh, no, that person has a weird trick.

[Tom Griswold]

Like they can, they can almost a good show things that stink. Ever, ever, ever been, ever been around a kid when they take their cast off?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's, that's rough.

[Tom Griswold]

That's, that is ripe, my friend.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, sure.

[Chick McGee]

What about my sports cast?

[Josh Arnold]

You're pulling yourself.

[Tom Griswold]

My goal has been reached. Okay. I think we do. We have the one with the, the

[Chick McGee]

young lady with this going to convince us how cool this is.

[Tom Griswold]

I, I, I can't tell if I'm getting the signal or not. There we go. There we go. She's got an.

[Josh Arnold]

I like it more than I thought I was good.

[Tom Griswold]

I, you had on and see that looks like dangling cigarettes.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. And look at her. I mean, she, that is a, that

[Chick McGee]

is a lot of red lipstick.

[Christy Lee]

I know her.

[Pat Godwin]

You do?

[Josh Arnold]

You do.

[Tom Griswold]

And you haven't. You haven't brought her in here.

[Christy Lee]

Hi, Holly.

[Josh Arnold]

Now she's like that.

[Pat Godwin]

What does Holly do for a living?

[Chick McGee]

Wearing those to a bar is like asking for ear trauma, though, right?

[Josh Arnold]

How many trying to rip that off?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, she's married to a lawyer.

[Pat Godwin]

Gotcha.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't make fun of her. She's very, very, very attractive.

[Josh Arnold]

Sue the hell out of us.

[Tom Griswold]

She's gorgeous.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, it's great. Isn't that sweet?

[Tom Griswold]

Kind of a fun thing. And there was this news story yesterday, and at the press conference, Coach Signetti, after the press conference, he had alluded to this several other times. I'm gonna go relax and have a beer. And there's an official beer that is a part of a charity program that they're doing with a brewer from Bloomington, Indiana. It's kind of fun.

[Christy Lee]

Apparently they had been giving the guys beer throughout the season. They had been supplying the coaches for the after the game thing. And it was a very nice shout out that the coach did.

[Tom Griswold]

It's fun.

[Chick McGee]

It does make the tub dump problematic.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

At the end, they dump the.

[Tom Griswold]

One of these during the game. Guy at the sideline. Cigarette. Beer. That used to be.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, when's the last time there was a locker room shot of a. I know. In baseball. A locker room with a guy smoking.

[Chick McGee]

That's the one Cub that was just always smoking.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

There was the one.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Like just always.

[Willie G]

Louise.

[Chick McGee]

I, I, I don't want to get it wrong because I have so many friends that are Cubs fans. They would Hate me forever. But I know there was one cub that was just. Was it Ryan San?

[Tom Griswold]

That would be pretty. It would be pretty funny in a college guy.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, well.

[Tom Griswold]

Hurt my leg. I'm gonna just have a couple smokes. In any event, I thought those earrings were kind of cool.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, they're.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I'm glad you liked them.

[Chick McGee]

Good for you.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, let me finish here. Might be a fun Valentine's Day gift, fellas.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

If you've got that IU coed.

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Is your sweetie do that?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Josh, I am trying to help guys like you.

[Chick McGee]

Now, you never have good advice for romance.

[Christy Lee]

You know, Ruby, if you're not.

[Josh Arnold]

If you're not shoving earrings into mashed potatoes, you're telling people to buy cigarette earrings.

[Christy Lee]

Nice. Ruby and diamond earrings.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay? So you get one of each. You get her some nice earrings. Plus you get sort of the. The comically underscoring the fandom of your sweetheart.

[Christy Lee]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

The fandom of your sweetheart.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Would you ever buy her those cigarette earrings? You know the answer, you hypocrite.

[Pat Godwin]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

I see Kelly would love those, provided there was an optional augmented pair of diamond earrings. Well, see, there's another young lady wearing this.

[Chick McGee]

They're so cool.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that. Was that the lawyer husband? That guy? No, that's a different girl.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know that girl.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

I knew the other girl. I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

He looks like he'd sue me. Look at that face. It just reeks of lawsuit. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Is that what it reeks of?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Let's be careful.

[Tom Griswold]

See, I didn't finish.

[Josh Arnold]

I'll tell you what, it doesn't wreak

[Tom Griswold]

a ham, I'll tell you that.

[Chick McGee]

More bacon. Hey, you want to Hear the top 10 James Bond movies of all time?

[Tom Griswold]

I do.

[Chick McGee]

As rated by this online rating system.

[Josh Arnold]

Top 10.

[Chick McGee]

Hang on. He's trying to talk to Jason. Yes, Tom, go ahead.

[Tom Griswold]

No, go ahead. I'm done. I'm listing for the top 10 James Bond movies as rated by writing some

[Chick McGee]

down, though Spectre 2015. Never. Never seen it.

[Christy Lee]

That's number 10.

[Tom Griswold]

That was okay. It was okay.

[Josh Arnold]

It was pretty cool. Cool.

[Chick McGee]

Number nine. 1965. Thunderball.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Number nine.

[Tom Griswold]

That, in my mind, is number one. But keep going.

[Chick McGee]

Number nine. Number eight, the Spy who Loved Me. 1977. No, and I'm not sure which Bond it is. Roger Moore.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that one's pretty good, too.

[Tom Griswold]

A great song, though.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Heaven Above Me.

[Tom Griswold]

I love that song.

[Chick McGee]

Number seven is Dr. No from 1960.

[Tom Griswold]

That would be my third it's a

[Josh Arnold]

little dry, but yes.

[Chick McGee]

Number six, Goldeneye with Pierce Brock.

[Josh Arnold]

That's for sure.

[Mr. Obvious]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

The franchise was all but dead.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Underrated. I will give it that much.

[Chick McGee]

Number five, from Russia With Love.

[Josh Arnold]

That I think is one of the most boring.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I think I agree.

[Chick McGee]

Number four, no time to die from 2021. Is that the most recent?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, most. And that's surprising because most people consider that not good. No, I thought it was entertaining, but the Daniel Craig.

[Christy Lee]

Bond.

[Chick McGee]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

Way too long.

[Chick McGee]

The guy with the big eyes. Eyes and no. Time to die, Mr. I. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Motorcycle.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Number three is Goldfinger, 1964.

[Tom Griswold]

That'd be my number two.

[Chick McGee]

Number two is Skyfall from 2012.

[Josh Arnold]

I do, too. That's good.

[Chick McGee]

No, that's the one that turns it. Yeah. Heavy air. Bardem, He's a albino God.

[Pat Godwin]

He's so good in that.

[Chick McGee]

That's all. That's. This is the one that turns into Home Alone at the end. They booby trap. Yeah, but it does.

[Tom Griswold]

There's that one that has the cool scene where they get the dust. Aston Martin out of the garage.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know. You. You wait. Yeah. You wait the whole movie to see the car.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you know, it's a James Bond

[Christopher]

movie and there's a.

[Chick McGee]

Cool. The car is going to be pretty cool. Number one is a Casino Royale from 2006.

[Josh Arnold]

So they're big Craig fans.

[Chick McGee]

Craig. No, that's number one for there.

[Tom Griswold]

Thunderball number one, Goldfinger 2, Dr. No.

[Jamie Lisso]

3.

[Josh Arnold]

So you're all Connery and Thunderball's great.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, the era when it was done, all that underwater photography.

[Christy Lee]

I was in the Bahamas. That one, right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And that's why. That's why Sean Connery ended up getting a house there.

[Josh Arnold]

I love Thunderball. That is a great.

[Christy Lee]

That is a good one.

[Tom Griswold]

And it's a. It's a semi reasonable plot. There's a couple of things a little bit hard to swallow.

[Chick McGee]

Remember who did Thunderball? The song?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's Tom Jones.

[Chick McGee]

That's Tom Jones.

[Tom Griswold]

And he. Tom Jones does an interview with him. He goes. I have no idea what these lyrics mean.

[Joe Dombrowski]

Mean.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they're really. They're really forced. Now, if you want to rate James Bond theme songs, now we're talking. What would be your number one?

[Chick McGee]

Well, have to be Goldfinger as your favorite.

[Josh Arnold]

Not the most famous.

[Chick McGee]

That's what I was going to like. Goldfinger is not even my favorite.

[Tom Griswold]

No, my favorite. Believe it or not, my favorite is Paul McCartney. Although the guns and Roses version of it is Also great.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Living like living Let dies are great.

[Josh Arnold]

Those are great.

[Chick McGee]

I love that song.

[Tom Griswold]

Pat. What? I'm sorry. You look like. You look like.

[Pat Godwin]

I hate that song for some reason.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh yeah, It's. It's Paul McCartney. I know. The man can do no wrong. I know.

[Chick McGee]

I don't like it.

[Tom Griswold]

He's the greatest musician of our lifetime.

[Josh Arnold]

If it weren't for him. Really.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I guess we can't be friends anymore. So much for that.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, Tom Hanks has begged to be a Bond villain and no one has taken him up on it.

[Chick McGee]

They have to.

[Tom Griswold]

He'd be great.

[Josh Arnold]

I know. Like it's his one. It's like a bucket list thing for him. He's begged them to make him.

[Tom Griswold]

Billy Bob Thornton would be terrific.

[Josh Arnold]

He would be good.

[Tom Griswold]

Terrific.

[Josh Arnold]

Bondville. Yeah. I love a scary Billy Bob Thornton.

[Chick McGee]

Me too. It's such an off putting thing. Like he's a terrifying. Him and Fargo.

[Christopher]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

Oh my God.

[Tom Griswold]

Him in that radio interview getting pissed at that dj.

[Josh Arnold]

That is nerve wrack.

[Tom Griswold]

That is one of the most cringeworthy pieces in history. Makes me afraid to talk to him again.

[Christy Lee]

We have the. Did you find the. Did you look up the theme songs? According to Men's Health, these are the top 10 James Bond theme songs.

[Tom Griswold]

Start at the bottom.

[Christy Lee]

I am number 10. Billie Eilish. No Time to Die.

[Pat Godwin]

I enjoy that one.

[Josh Arnold]

That's good representation on that question.

[Christy Lee]

Number nine. I don't even know this person. Matt Monroe from Russia with love.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, Matt. Back in the 50s, Matt.

[Tom Griswold]

That's okay.

[Jamie Lisso]

Love.

[Christy Lee]

Number eight. Louis Armstrong. We have all the time in the world.

[Josh Arnold]

It's.

[Chick McGee]

Was that made for it or was that just used in it like this is says?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

You said Louis. You said Louis Armstrong. I heard Louis Anderson

[Josh Arnold]

would have also

[Chick McGee]

been a real entertaining Bond villain.

[Tom Griswold]

He would have been great. Except it would have been Dicky Galore.

[Chick McGee]

I expect you to die.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Christy Lee]

Goldfinger is number seven.

[Tom Griswold]

How wrong can they be?

[Josh Arnold]

It's not easy on the ear.

[Chick McGee]

No, it's not.

[Jamie Lisso]

No.

[Christy Lee]

Number six. Sheena Easton. For your eyes only. That's when I was thinking.

[Tom Griswold]

That's okay.

[Christy Lee]

Number five. Radiohead. Spectre. Men's Health might be skewing a little younger.

[Josh Arnold]

You're gonna be mad when a view Do a kill is in the top three.

[Christy Lee]

Number four. Nancy Sinatra. You Only Live twice.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a good one.

[Josh Arnold]

That's a real good one.

[Chick McGee]

I forget about that one. This Bond was made for walking. These boots do so many things.

[Christy Lee]

Number three. Paul McCartney's. Live and Let Die. Number two, Adele with Skyfall. No. Number one, Diamonds Are Forever.

[Chick McGee]

Diamonds.

[Tom Griswold]

That's also Shirley Bassey. Yeah, I did that. That one didn't stick as much. Interesting.

[Christopher]

Well, as we probably all know, Tom got married about a month ago. And we're gonna find out some details on that in the next segment here on the Best of the Bob and Tom Show. Good morning. This is the Best of the Bob and Tom show here on a Monday morning long Memorial Day weekend. Hope you're having a nice one. This is Christopher and the Bob and Tom studios. Well, Tom got married about a month ago, eloped, kind of surprised some of us. Let's get some of the details on his elopement. In this segment of the Best of the Bob and Tom show, there's Josh

[Josh Arnold]

Arnold having a French roast. And if you've never had one, what you do is you take a cup of coffee and put a cigarette out in it and then you drink it.

[Chick McGee]

French roast.

[Tom Griswold]

Not a fan, are you?

[Josh Arnold]

They're always just so strong.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm distracted. I'm learning more about Morse code.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, I'm surprised you're not a student of it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. You know, it's interesting that to find them on the Internet, it's dot dash, dot dash dot dash dot com. Very, very confusing.

[Christy Lee]

I'm gonna stop the show.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

I made an observation.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Because I'm a girl. Are you wearing a ring, Tom?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I got married over the weekend.

[Josh Arnold]

What? Oh my gosh.

[Chick McGee]

You know, he loves. He loves doing stuff like that. Holy Tommy.

[Josh Arnold]

Congratulations.

[Christy Lee]

Are you serious?

[Chick McGee]

We're supposed to say congratulations to you and best wishes to. He's coming in for a hug. That a boy.

[Tom Griswold]

I wish my mom were alive. So I could hear her go, finally.

[Pat Godwin]

On the beach.

[Tom Griswold]

On the beach or it's about time.

[Christy Lee]

Was that part of the beach party?

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no, no, no. As it happened, Kelly and I were. Were in the Bahamas for an event.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

And everyone else had to leave pretty much. So we decided we'd made plans actually to get married on Friday night. And we made the plans quite a while ago and no one was there from our family, which is we. And we're going to have a nice party here.

[Josh Arnold]

Here.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

We just wanted to get the technical aspect of it done. Oh, it's our favorite beach. So it had been a beautiful sunny weekend and we were scheduled to get married at 7:30. We had the whole thing, although there's some lady got it all arranged.

[Chick McGee]

It couldn't have gone smoothly. Please tell me what Happened.

[Tom Griswold]

I'll have some photographs for you tomorrow. We had to. During the vows, we had to hand the umbrella back and forth. So to put the rings on was kind of tricky.

[Dave Dyer]

Tricky.

[Pat Godwin]

Did you get dressed up?

[Chick McGee]

Please tell me. Bare feet. You were in bare feet? No.

[Tom Griswold]

Ah, well, this is actually a true story and only you guys will believe it. As you know, Kelly does not necessarily appreciate the way I dress.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

I dress for comfort. I have a. I have a sort of a.

[Chick McGee]

Well, you really should be in political press releases.

[Tom Griswold]

Definitive lack of style if you.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

But she had gone down prior to my going down there. I went down there. I flew down last Friday morning. No, Thursday morning.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, Thursday morning.

[Tom Griswold]

In any event, I. She had purchased some beach pants. What are they, like? Linen.

[Chick McGee]

Linen. Oh, you gotta have linen.

[Christy Lee]

Nice. Linen.

[Tom Griswold]

Two pairs of linen. Beach pants.

[Chick McGee]

Nice.

[Tom Griswold]

And then linen shirts.

[Chick McGee]

Beautiful.

[Tom Griswold]

Which linen? I actually. I ironed it twice before I went

[Christy Lee]

out because it's known to wrinkle, but it's supposed to.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it didn't really wrinkle because it was soaking wet.

[Chick McGee]

Wet.

[Tom Griswold]

But remember, it was pouring rain. But we were thinking of maybe just doing it inside. We had a couple of friends that were around. We thought, we'll just do it inside. Nope. One of the guys goes, no, you got to go outside. It's going to stop raining. But here's the point. So we're getting ready, and I put on the. The trousers. The linen trousers.

[Chick McGee]

Trousers. He says trousers.

[Josh Arnold]

They'll show off his manhood.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, Josh, here's the problem. I'll do this in Socratic method. What color underwear do I wear?

[Josh Arnold]

Black.

[Tom Griswold]

I always wear black.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

The trousers. White.

[Josh Arnold]

They must have been visible.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And I. So I. I put them on. And Kelly looks over and she goes, you only have black underwear. And so I do my own laundry. So maybe she wasn't aware that I only own black underwear.

[Christy Lee]

She's never seen you in your underwear.

[Tom Griswold]

She assumed.

[Christy Lee]

Well, now you're married, she can see you.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, fine.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, she assumed. She assumed correctly. Incorrectly, I should say. She assumed that I would have gone out and bought a pair of light colored underwear that would have been. If I tried the pants on and thought it through, none of those things I had. I done.

[Chick McGee]

Well, then you had to go, no underwear.

[Tom Griswold]

So then I said, I'll go commando.

[Chick McGee]

Boy.

[Tom Griswold]

That was immediately rejected. Oh, so now this is the absolute truth. This was.

[Christy Lee]

You wore a pair of hers.

[Tom Griswold]

I wore Kelly underwear. Now, wait a minute.

[Chick McGee]

You just made someone, some listener, maybe more than just one, that you Made

[Tom Griswold]

their day because she had what might be considered my flesh tone colored underwear now. So I put the underwear on and I'm not sure how to describe this delicately. The underwear is designed.

[Christy Lee]

Is it a shaping underwear?

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not sure. It's got. The backside is significantly more fabric than the front side. You understand what I'm saying? So I put it on and during several activities things were flopping out.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh wow.

[Tom Griswold]

So it occurred to me to turn it around. I had to. I. I'd gone to an event the evening before wearing the. The pair of pants. So I went back to our condo, turned the underwear around without telling. So now I'm wearing my soon to be wife's underwear backwards that I'd already worn frontwards. You following me? So the next day I had learned I. Well, I've got a.

[Christy Lee]

So they did. Did they become like a G string? Did they go way up?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I wasn't going to go into that but there may have been a.

[Josh Arnold]

If your doctor had asked for a urine, stool, blood and semens sample, I

[Tom Griswold]

just would have handed him the underground. So I'm one of the few men, I guess that can. I guess I could say that. Well, I got into my, my wife's pants on my wedding night. In fact I got into them a couple hours before the ceremony. Yes. By wearing. Every word of that is true.

[Josh Arnold]

Well that's wonderful. Congratulations.

[Chick McGee]

So good for you.

[Tom Griswold]

And we.

[Christy Lee]

Good for you.

[Pat Godwin]

The kids happy?

[Christy Lee]

Do they know?

[Tom Griswold]

We told. We told everybody when we came back.

[Josh Arnold]

And do they. Yeah. Well. How'd the girls react? Cheers.

[Tom Griswold]

They were. They. They seem to be pleased.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, of course.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I think.

[Pat Godwin]

Doesn't sound like.

[Chick McGee]

What are their ages? You really can't tell? A 10.

[Tom Griswold]

Well there's 10, 13. Then they go up the scale.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, there's, there's.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean it probably doesn't feel much different to them.

[Chick McGee]

There's no telling. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But I think that Hart was. We told her. Hey look, we're gonna have a big party this summer.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And you can be the flower girl then.

[Josh Arnold]

I think that was.

[Tom Griswold]

That was left out.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that was a problem. Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Well. But yeah, I see the ring.

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Christy Lee]

I'm shocked.

[Josh Arnold]

It's cool.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I don't know. It's. I don't know what this is made of.

[Chick McGee]

You have metal something. And I say this with years of heterosexuality. You have very feminine fingers. They are. They turn me on and they turn me on in some ways. I, I can't describe it.

[Josh Arnold]

Spindly.

[Chick McGee]

Yes. Some Might say that, but yet masculine.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Beautiful hands.

[Tom Griswold]

And see, I can.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, you can.

[Josh Arnold]

Very dexterous.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, God.

[Josh Arnold]

Now we know why she wanted to marry

[Chick McGee]

Mr. Hansy.

[Tom Griswold]

There it was again. Pouring. It had been beautiful all week, but it was pouring rain Friday night. But it was.

[Pat Godwin]

Who was your witness?

[Tom Griswold]

Very, very memorable. There were several folks.

[Chick McGee]

Please tell. Please tell Pat that you took one, your best friend with your best friend. Please, please tell him.

[Tom Griswold]

No, none either. None of my group was there.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I can't wait to see the picture. And it's you standing next to Todd. Y.

[Chick McGee]

Are you next to Don McLean or.

[Tom Griswold]

Actually, the photograph is next to Orion.

[Christy Lee]

Orion.

[Tom Griswold]

He was our native photographer.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

But it was.

[Christy Lee]

I saw a picture of you dancing with a native girl over the.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That was. What is it called? A Junkanoo band.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, Junk canoe. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

They were loud. They were great.

[Chick McGee]

Like, they were playing. It's like stomp, right? They play the oil drums and they've got.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but they've got, I don't know, eight horns, trombone, sousaphone, all the whole deal.

[Chick McGee]

I remember seeing them when we went to Bahamas for the Super Bowls and

[Tom Griswold]

they're dressed up in great. It was really fun.

[Pat Godwin]

You do anything, Anything traditional, like lift Kelly over the threshold as you came into the cabin.

[Tom Griswold]

Know, it didn't dawn on me because we were at like Daddy G's disco at one in the morning.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, man, that Daddy.

[Pat Godwin]

Jesus. Fantastic.

[Tom Griswold]

You been there?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, okay.

[Josh Arnold]

This is a blast of happy news. I'm. I'm very.

[Christopher]

Coming up next on this Monday morning, there's an odor in the studio. Plus, a Tom moment is on the way. But coming up next, Monsters Inc. And Hooker's scary mind.

[Jamie Lisso]

Tom.

[Christopher]

It's next on the Bob and Tom show.

[Chick McGee]

The United States Soccer Federation presents the U.S. soccer Podcast. My name is David Goss and I'm joined by my co host, Megan Kleinenberg.

[Christy Lee]

And now we're giving people an inside look at the World Cup.

[Chick McGee]

Time's ticking. I think you can feel the intensity. All the guys are wanting to really

[Mark Shalafu]

stake their claim and they want to

[Chick McGee]

be on that World cup roster.

[Tom Griswold]

There's no doubt about it. Hosting the World cup on home soil comes with its pressures.

[Joe Dombrowski]

We're just really excited just as the people are.

[Christy Lee]

The U.S. soccer Podcast, presented by Henkel.

[Chick McGee]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[Christopher]

Welcome back to the Best of the Bob and Tom show on this Monday morning. Hope you're having a great long Memorial Day weekend. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios in this Segment Monsters Inc. Plus, we're going to hear about Jess Hooker's scary mom. Ooh, very scary.

[Chick McGee]

There's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, hello, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

She's at the news desk. There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jess Hooker.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Jess, you could play Boo from Monsters Inc. Oh, yeah. In a live action remake of when she's like a little older.

[Jess Hooker]

Thank you. That's probably my favorite look alike. You've said that before and I appreciate that.

[Chick McGee]

I like that boy.

[Josh Arnold]

Who doesn't? You guys welcome up at the end of that, when she very end. He comes back in and she just lights up.

[Chick McGee]

That's a perfect.

[Tom Griswold]

You got the short bangs, I think. Is that the.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, she. Yeah, she's got like a bob haircut and bangs and. Yeah, so it's very good.

[Tom Griswold]

Looks great.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you.

[Josh Arnold]

That's. That's so sweet.

[Jess Hooker]

It is a sweet movie. Do you remember? So kids grew up with that. Monsters Inc. Or my kids did. But I grew up with the Howie Mandel Frank Fred Savage version called Little Monsters.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

Which was terrifying.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

I don't remember that one.

[Jess Hooker]

So they, they come out from underneath your bed that you have monsters that live under your bed and they come and Howie Mandel, him alone is a monster. Yeah, that's scary.

[Josh Arnold]

And yeah, he's like blue and he's sort of unrecognizable.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, it's almost.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, it's.

[Josh Arnold]

It's very something off putting about that movie. I never revisited it.

[Jess Hooker]

It was Howie Mandel who started the

[Tom Griswold]

monsters under your bed thing.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That's been around for 300 years ago, right? I used to.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you ever look under your bed?

[Jess Hooker]

All the time. Yeah. And I had to look behind the shower curtain because my mom would stand back there with a knife and jump out and scare us after school.

[Josh Arnold]

What?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, wait a minute.

[Tom Griswold]

You're. You get some state sponsored psychiatry? I believe that's in the constitution. What is she insane?

[Jess Hooker]

Well, we're still out on that.

[Joe Dombrowski]

But she.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, she scared us all the time.

[Josh Arnold]

Just couldn't believe how funny it was.

[Jess Hooker]

She loved to scare us. I mean, love to scare us. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It can't be good.

[Jess Hooker]

No, it's not. It's not. It didn't manifest well as an adult. So, you know.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, okay. On a much lighter note, I missed most of the conversation, but I walked in and I heard you say that you. In order to watch the masters you made. You already talked about you made some nice egg salad. But I heard you say something about you made the same peach ice cream sandwiches that they had at the.

[Jess Hooker]

I did, yes. I like a theme. And so we. I mean, made homemade pimento spread and the egg salad and then we had the azalea drinks. Those were good. And. But I also. Yesterday I made the ice cream sandwiches.

[Tom Griswold]

So is. Is it the chocolate like an ice cream sandwich?

[Jess Hooker]

It's not. No. It's actually two sugar cookies sandwiched with peach ice cream.

[Christy Lee]

So.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I didn't make my own peach ice cream. I found some at the store.

[Tom Griswold]

But you did make the sugar.

[Josh Arnold]

Sugar cookies.

[Jess Hooker]

I did make the sugar cookies, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

That sounds great.

[Jess Hooker]

I have some leftover. Do you guys want me to bring them tomorrow?

[Tom Griswold]

I would like to try that.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

I do that.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

But I made them small.

[Christy Lee]

It's.

[Jess Hooker]

The two bites is enough.

[Tom Griswold]

We haven't done. We did a thing. You can buy the kit to make the. The chocolate for a ice cream sandwich.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, those are. Yeah, that would be good. I love how soft that is.

[Tom Griswold]

It's. Yeah. And it's one of those things where you can spend fifty dollars and. And three hours of your afternoon.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

In order to make ten ice cream sandwiches, you could buy for twelve bucks.

[Chick McGee]

You do that with. With pizzas, too?

[Tom Griswold]

All the time.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

What's the. The Cadillac of the ice cream sandwich? Is it North Star? What?

[Chick McGee]

What?

[Jess Hooker]

Big John?

[Josh Arnold]

Big John is a good brand.

[Jess Hooker]

I think that's a good brand.

[Chick McGee]

None of the. No. Yeah. No ice cream sandwich leap to mind.

[Josh Arnold]

You think somebody would have. Would have cornered the market on that. But they haven't.

[Joe Dombrowski]

No.

[Christy Lee]

Don't you just like a traditional.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, yes. With the parchment paper around it.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

The ice cream sandwich is one of those things.

[Willie G]

It's.

[Tom Griswold]

You've got to wait. You've got to wait till it's just the right temperature.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm with you.

[Chick McGee]

You put it in the microwave for 11 seconds.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, 11 might be too much.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, it's perfect.

[Christy Lee]

Blue Bunny makes a good product.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, Blue Bunny. Yeah, Blue Bunny. That's what I said.

[Josh Arnold]

Now that's your Bunny bread, my friend.

[Chick McGee]

Bunny. Oh, I knew it was a bunny.

[Christy Lee]

Were Klondike bars ice cream sandwiches. They made a version.

[Chick McGee]

Ice cream bars with no stick. I never understood. Understood that.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

That's weird.

[Chick McGee]

I can't grab this. I'm not gonna bare hand it. What do you say?

[Tom Griswold]

I need a stick. Maybe a serious letter. Where is the stick?

[Christy Lee]

Because you get chocolate all over your hand.

[Chick McGee]

I have sticks right here.

[Christy Lee]

It was like.

[Josh Arnold]

He was like a magician.

[Pat Godwin]

He's got all the klondike Tom is

[Chick McGee]

prepared if we get inundated with Klondike bars.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, enough food talk.

[Chick McGee]

And they don't call the Eskimo bars Eskimo bars.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

Those are pies. And now they're not even Eskimo pies.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

They're indigenous.

[Pat Godwin]

You can't say it anymore.

[Josh Arnold]

Nose kisser pies or something.

[Jess Hooker]

Jeez.

[Chick McGee]

You know how they Eskimo kiss? You ever have an Eskimo kiss, Tom?

[Tom Griswold]

What's an Eskimo kiss?

[Chick McGee]

You rub noses.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's sweet.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I remember like as a kid going, man, that's gotta suck. Wouldn't you rather just tongue each other?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I, I, I want to say

[Christy Lee]

they were renamed Edie's Pie, remember?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, that sounds even, that sounds filthy. Edie's Pie sounds like a spread in a 1968 issue of Playboy magazine with Ed.

[Chick McGee]

Have a bite of Edie Gourmet.

[Christy Lee]

Or you could say Eddie's Pie.

[Josh Arnold]

Don't get a knockoff. You want the Edie's Gourmet.

[Chick McGee]

Tom just mentioned Edie Gourmet. Oh, he did?

[Josh Arnold]

Because I was formulating my Edie Gourmet joke.

[Tom Griswold]

I know, I just said, does it. Edie's Pie sounds like a spread in Playboy where Playboy would have these genuine stars that would kind of sort of take their clothes off.

[Chick McGee]

Like Edie Gourmet.

[Josh Arnold]

There's no way she was ever doing it.

[Tom Griswold]

I, I'd like to apologize to the Edie Gourmet State.

[Chick McGee]

Oh my God.

[Christy Lee]

It might be pronounced Eddies, but whatever.

[Tom Griswold]

Is it Edes?

[Jess Hooker]

No, it's Edie.

[Christy Lee]

E, D, Y, E, Y. I'm Eddie.

[Chick McGee]

Try my pie.

[Tom Griswold]

Edie's ice cream doesn't have the same. It's a big crossword puzzle answer.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, EDS Ed y Gourmet.

[Chick McGee]

Edie Gourmet is Steve Lawrence's wife.

[Josh Arnold]

They were kind of a singing couple.

[Chick McGee]

They had like a hit.

[Josh Arnold]

Probably as lame act as you'll ever see.

[Chick McGee]

No. Oh, no.

[Tom Griswold]

God, he was super cool.

[Josh Arnold]

You realize his casting in Blues Brothers was ironic.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's why it was.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, he was that whole slick, Vegasy guy.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, but not any good.

[Josh Arnold]

It was lame.

[Chick McGee]

No good. No, it was not cool.

[Josh Arnold]

This answers a lot of questions.

[Tom Griswold]

It was like sort of a second tier Sinatra.

[Pat Godwin]

No, not even that.

[Tom Griswold]

That show business glitzy.

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Pat Godwin]

Took a chance in his life.

[Tom Griswold]

He's in the Blues Brothers. In the Blues Brothers. The scene in the, in the sauna.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

That's hilarious. Well, because it was.

[Josh Arnold]

Because he wasn't some tough guy. Yeah, gangster esque dude that they were trying to portray him as in that.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, God.

[Chick McGee]

I think Edie Gourmet actually did a lot of scat scene singing, I think. Oh, did she have one of those?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I Not a fan of that.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, but you like Steve Lawrence.

[Josh Arnold]

I loved it because the height of cool.

[Tom Griswold]

The worst scatting of all. The worst scatting of all time is Sinatra.

[Chick McGee]

The height of.

[Christy Lee]

Sinatra's too cool to ever do anything wrong like that.

[Chick McGee]

No, that was a throwaway line.

[Pat Godwin]

He wasn't scatting.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

And this is really smooth, actually. It's do.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, sounds like Sinatra singing.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's embarrassing.

[Chick McGee]

Here you go.

[Tom Griswold]

Eskimo Pie changed the name to Edie's Pie. I want.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, by the way, did you watch the Masters over the weekend?

[Josh Arnold]

I did.

[Chick McGee]

Right. Did you hear any planes obscuring the coverage of the Masters? Planes going overhead?

[Jess Hooker]

No, I mostly heard in the pumped in bird noises.

[Tom Griswold]

Those are real bird noises.

[Jess Hooker]

Not.

[Josh Arnold]

You could hear like those. It's like jungle.

[Christy Lee]

They got called for that.

[Chick McGee]

They did.

[Jess Hooker]

I mean, that's.

[Christy Lee]

They're not.

[Jess Hooker]

They're. They're in that area.

[Tom Griswold]

They got. No, no, they were. They were called out for that years ago.

[Chick McGee]

And what better time to bring it back? Who's going to believe that we did it again? Nobody.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

Perfect timing. They.

[Tom Griswold]

Years ago, a birder called up CBS

[Chick McGee]

and said, you've been sucked in.

[Tom Griswold]

They. They are playing birds that don't. That don't live there. So they. They were caught.

[Josh Arnold]

Boy, how'd you like to know that guy?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, turn that off.

[Chick McGee]

Wow, Is that bad?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, God. Oh, it's not that bad.

[Chick McGee]

It's only 30 seconds.

[Tom Griswold]

We do have a witch. I think we do have Bob's famous bird call, which if you were watching the Masters, I believe it was in the final round.

[Mark Shalafu]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

On the second nine, right. When. When I forget who was teeing off. Was it Justin? You could hear this famous bird call with Bob. African scissor birds. Okay. Unbelievable. If you have ever seen. That is just so dead on.

[Christy Lee]

I know.

[Chick McGee]

Watermelon diarrhea bird.

[Mr. Obvious]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, oh, this is rare. Like unbelievable.

[Chick McGee]

I'm sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

That got cut off. Didn't have. It was dry mouth. He couldn't do the Guatemalan diarrhea. But yeah, I believe that was on the. The beginning of the second nine as they.

[Jess Hooker]

So who heard planes?

[Josh Arnold]

I heard it, but it was infrequent.

[Tom Griswold]

I was like, if you watch the. The tennis matches in New York and this is the constant. I get it. It's Right next to whatever. LaGuardia.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

It's constant at the US Open.

[Tom Griswold]

I just thought there was. I was just assuming that they had enough because they kind of control everything there.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

You can't wear certain kinds of clothes. You have to.

[Josh Arnold]

There's a lot of rules different than airspace.

[Tom Griswold]

I thought. I assumed that they would be able to control the airspace and keep the planes out because many sporting events do. Yeah, many sporting events.

[Josh Arnold]

No, they don't. What you're talking about are private citizen planes that are not allowed to fly over certain stadiums and stuff. And that happens not just at a certain sporting event, but all that. That's everywhere.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, you're passionate and I. But you're. It's the. He's. It's been very. On computer.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm talking to a brick.

[Tom Griswold]

Here we go. This is.

[Chick McGee]

Here we go.

[Tom Griswold]

Several major sporting events place temporary flight restrictions over stadiums to keep noisy or potentially dangerous aircraft away.

[Josh Arnold]

We agree with that. Nobody's arguing that.

[Tom Griswold]

This includes major league baseball games, the super bowl, many college football games. I'm just asking why they can't, you know, keep the. It wasn't that bad, you know.

[Chick McGee]

No, it was constant.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, it was.

[Tom Griswold]

I just thought.

[Christy Lee]

I didn't even notice it.

[Jess Hooker]

I didn't either.

[Christy Lee]

I watched.

[Chick McGee]

I listen with the sound down.

[Tom Griswold]

I guess you have to be sensitive to notice these things. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You got to be something. All right. An unreasonable.

[Christy Lee]

I swear it's in his hand. It's a tinnitus.

[Pat Godwin]

You can't hear us in here, but you.

[Tom Griswold]

Planes.

[Christy Lee]

That's right.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, you're right. Hearing planes on TV.

[Chick McGee]

Meanwhile, I say something and then he repeats it. 30 seconds at. I didn't. I didn't hear it. What are you talking about?

[Tom Griswold]

If I want this kind of criticism, I'll go home.

[Chick McGee]

You know what? You know what? Steve Lawrence was talented, okay?

[Pat Godwin]

He was the backbone.

[Chick McGee]

I just thought he was Mr. Entertainment.

[Joe Dombrowski]

Steve.

[Tom Griswold]

Edie Gourmet, Playboy magazine, 1969.

[Chick McGee]

You think? Right?

[Tom Griswold]

It's right on the.

[Chick McGee]

You think Edie Go Gourmet was hairy, don't you? I bet you thought.

[Tom Griswold]

You think.

[Chick McGee]

I do, too. And she was a great. Scatter.

[Christopher]

Scatter.

[Chick McGee]

The best. The best.

[Christopher]

Coming up next here on the Best of the Bob and Tom Show, a Tom moment. He has those every once in a while. We'll get one next here on the Bob and Tom Show.

[Mr. Obvious]

Hello, and welcome to the Mr. Obvious Show. I'm your host, Mr. Obvious. Let's go right to the phones. Hello, Mr. Obvious Show.

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

Hi, is this Mr.

[Mr. Obvious]

Obvious speaking.

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

Hey, Mr. Obvious. Long time listener, first time caller.

[Mr. Obvious]

Well, thanks for calling the show. I certainly couldn't do it without all you callers.

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

Sure you could, Mr. Obvious. I've heard this other fat head on the radio, blabbers on for hours. He don't take no callers or nothing,

[Pat Godwin]

just blah, blah, blah, blah, spouting his

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

opinion about everything under the sun.

[Christy Lee]

I don't like this.

[Mr. Obvious]

I hear what you're saying, caller. Point. Well, take it. Did you have a question?

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

I need some career advice.

[Mr. Obvious]

Now we're talking. That's one of Mr. Havish's specialties. I've counseled many a caller on important life decisions. Finding the right job is essential to one's happiness.

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

Yeah, I guess so. It's not so much the happiness I'm worried about. It. It's my mortgage. I've been out of work for a while and I really need a good job to pay off some bills.

[Mr. Obvious]

Well, the first place to start is figuring out what type of job you're qualified for and then finding opportunities in that field.

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

I already got the job picked out.

[Mr. Obvious]

Wonderful. What have you chosen as your new career?

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

I'm going to be an airline pilot.

[Mr. Obvious]

An airline pilot? Are you sure about that, caller?

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

Oh, I'm positive, Mr. O. I wanted to be a doctor, but then I found out you have to go to college for that. I really can't afford the time or money that that might, you know. Besides, I really like those uniforms that pilots get to wear. I look great in blue, Mr. Obvious.

[Mr. Obvious]

Gee, caller, it sounds like you've really thought this through.

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

Oh, I sure have, Mr. O. Heck, I even already got me one of them pilot suitcases on wheels that you see them dragging through the airport. And I've been working on my in flight announcements. Listen to this. Attention, passengers, if you look out the left side of the aircraft you'll see the Grand Canyon, and on the right side you can see the Empire State Building, currently flying over Nebraska and The altitude is 75 degrees. Roger Wilco, Delta Niner.

[Mr. Obvious]

I guess you've got it all figured out. Let me ask you this, caller. Do you have any training to fly planes?

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

Well, yeah, I've been studying real hard for the past two years now.

[Chick McGee]

Oh.

[Mr. Obvious]

Oh, you have?

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

Yeah.

[Mr. Obvious]

Well, that's wonderful. How's school going?

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

We ain't even cracked a book open yet.

[Mr. Obvious]

What sort of things are you studying?

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

Mostly physical training, I guess.

[Mr. Obvious]

Well, I'm sure that's very important as well. You need a lot of physical strength and stamina. What sort of Physical training are you doing?

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

Mostly strength conditioning, some flexibility training and a little cardio. It's all kinds of stuff.

[Mr. Obvious]

That's all well and good, but do you discuss flight theory, the history of aviation, instrument panel reading, anything related to flight?

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

No, no, not really. Well, sometimes in class when we're stretching and warming up, I. I pretend it's a pre flight check. That's just something I do on my own.

[Mr. Obvious]

So you've been going for two years?

[Tom Griswold]

Yep.

[Mr. Obvious]

You're a full time student?

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

No, no, it's just. It's just an hour long class. Three times a week.

[Mr. Obvious]

Only three hours a week? Well, no wonder it's taking so long. Is this an accredited school?

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

Well, my instructor says he's certified. He was in the Air Force and even studied pilot classes in college.

[Mr. Obvious]

Pilot classes?

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

Yeah, that's what I signed up for.

[Mr. Obvious]

Where did you sign up for these pilot classes?

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

Well, that's what made it so convenient, Mr. Obvious. It's right here at the gym where I work out. Free pilots classes with my membership. I couldn't pass that up. I'm starting to think though that you get what you pay for, you know?

[Mr. Obvious]

How are we spelling pilot?

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

P I, L, A T E S.

[Mr. Obvious]

No caller, that's not pilots. It's Pilates. It's not a class for learning to fly planes. It's physical fitness program designed by a man named Joseph. Pilates? They're very popular in gyms all around the country. It's no wonder you haven't spent any

[Chick McGee]

time in a flight simulator.

[Mr. Obvious]

You're doing exercises in a health club.

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

Pilates?

[Chick McGee]

Yes, Pilates.

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

I never made the connection. You know, Pilates sounds a lot like what I ordered at that Mexican restaurant I went to last week. Pilates. It was the worst Mexican restaurant I ever been to. They didn't have anything to eat. There's just a bunch of fat women sitting around the floor complaining about feeling bloated. It was called Lamaze class.

[Mr. Obvious]

It's for pregnant women.

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

That would explain the grumpy service I got.

[Mr. Obvious]

That's all the time we have.

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

Thanks for tell you Mr. O. I might not be able to fly an airplane yet, but I look fantastic in my uniform.

[Christy Lee]

I'm sure you do.

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

Rock hard six pack abs and an

[Chick McGee]

ass you can crack an egg on.

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

Listen up. Do you think that this gym is a good place for my daughter to take her ballet classes?

[Mr. Obvious]

Oh, oh wait, let me guess. You signed her up for spinning class twice a week. This has been the obvious.

[Christopher]

Welcome back to the Best of the Bob and Tom Show. This is Christopher on your Monday morning. Hope you're having a great long weekend. Here is a Tom moment in this segment of the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

A couple quick things going on. Willie, can you explain this? I've got this beautiful. I don't know how to describe it. It's like a. The size of a. What are those things in the street with the stop sign?

[Pat Godwin]

Manhole covers.

[Tom Griswold]

Manhole covers. Thank you.

[Willie G]

I thought it was stop sign. I was like, well, you're used to ignoring those, so it makes sense you wouldn't.

[Chick McGee]

The name of it.

[Jamie Lisso]

Tom.

[Chick McGee]

Tom Griswold. Attended Columbia University in New York City.

[Tom Griswold]

I bluffed my will. Yeah. That's the size of a manhole.

[Chick McGee]

Nobody's that good.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a Cleveland Browns dog pound thing. And where'd this come from?

[Willie G]

My buddy Colin down in Louisville. He works at a place called Hex Head. And they make all this stuff. It's like wall art. And he brings me to my shows and I had the show in Louisville with Han a few weeks ago, so we brought those around. That's just for you. You got them for a lot of folks on our staff. Thanks, Colin.

[Tom Griswold]

He's got one ace. Oh, there we go.

[Chick McGee]

I got Notre Dame.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it's for the Raiders.

[Willie G]

Yeah, man.

[Tom Griswold]

He's Super Bowl. So. So he has no standards. He'll do it for anything.

[Chick McGee]

He'll do it for this commander, like two years ago or three. It's in my bar right now. They. It's like a big. Like your brown size.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that made of metal?

[Chick McGee]

A big W? Yeah, it's really cool.

[Willie G]

It's all made in hand painted.

[Christy Lee]

I got a boilermaker for my daughter Sophie.

[Tom Griswold]

What's the name of the company again?

[Willie G]

Hex Head. And Colin comes to the shows. He brings his girl. They're the greatest.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Willie G]

Love you, Colin. Thank you, man.

[Tom Griswold]

You, Colin, very cool.

[Chick McGee]

Great guy.

[Tom Griswold]

Now I got this letter. Yeah, What? I've been told to read this. Okay. Once. It says hello to my favorite talk show hosts. Last night I had a Tom moment. I was going outside to smoke, as Tom would say, a little reefer.

[Willie G]

Nice, nice.

[Tom Griswold]

When my wife asked where I was going and for some reason I couldn't remember the word joint. So I said, I'm going to smoke a pot stick. Okay. Makes sense to me.

[Mr. Obvious]

Pot stick.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Chick McGee]

Hot pot stickers.

[Tom Griswold]

There's also a thing we were talking about called a Thai stick.

[Chick McGee]

That's some good stuff.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that exotic?

[Christy Lee]

That was big back in the 70s.

[Chick McGee]

I want to say hash or Something.

[Christy Lee]

Hash oil.

[Pat Godwin]

Like dipped in something.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Willie G]

You guys are hidden.

[Tom Griswold]

I see. I see why.

[Chick McGee]

The guy I was buying it from, he shorted me.

[Tom Griswold]

I love getting your lips.

[Chick McGee]

Might have been my dad selling me tie stick. He gave me a discount.

[Christy Lee]

Did he?

[Tom Griswold]

Your dad was a marijuana dealer?

[Chick McGee]

Yes, he was.

[Christy Lee]

Did he have the tie stick or did he just stick?

[Chick McGee]

I shut my eyes and. And he has one of those little leather cigarette folding machines, Right. And he would fold the cigarette. The marijuana. Marijuana joints while we watched Laugh In.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Joe Dombrowski]

And.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, and he smoked regular cigarettes, Right.

[Chick McGee]

I smoked Camels. No filters. And he did not smoke marijuana when I was ever around. That I can remember.

[Tom Griswold]

Did he give you a lecture while doing it, or.

[Chick McGee]

Nope.

[Christy Lee]

Did you know it was wrong at the time?

[Tom Griswold]

Nope.

[Jess Hooker]

Huh?

[Chick McGee]

I didn't know nothing, okay? That's what I told the cops. I thought he was just rolling his cigarettes. I don't know if I was aware of marijuana. I was a. I was a Partridge Family Bobby Sherman Monkeys. Banana Splits kid. I didn't know. Naughty drug talk.

[Tom Griswold]

I think the monkeys were high on the reefer.

[Christy Lee]

Nah, I think so.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that ruins. You mean the now. You know, the Beatles. There was a cute one. The serious one. Monkeys. The. The pain in the ass one. Mike, I bet he's smoking. Or maybe he didn't. That's why he was so. So grumpy.

[Christy Lee]

No, it's Peter Torque that did.

[Willie G]

By the way, are you your mother in 1961? I think the monkeys are on reefer. I think they're on the reefer.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I.

[Chick McGee]

We're not reefer people.

[Tom Griswold]

Were you with me when we saw Davy Jones?

[Christy Lee]

I was, yes. At Epcot.

[Chick McGee]

You remember? Christy slid out of her seat when

[Christy Lee]

he walked up the aisle. I saw Davy Jones at the America Pavilion in episode Epcot, and he sang right to me.

[Tom Griswold]

I met Davey backstage at an event.

[Christy Lee]

No, I was not there.

[Tom Griswold]

I'll just say he was quite.

[Chick McGee]

He passed away. You can go ahead and say he had a.

[Tom Griswold]

A white booger kind of suspended in his nose.

[Chick McGee]

An amazing white booger.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And I'll tell this because he's also passed away. Peter Torque was on the show and he played the guitar, and it seemed okay, but it could have been the worst guitar I've ever heard.

[Christy Lee]

And he sat right there. I remember that. No, he wasn't very good.

[Chick McGee]

And Tadian looked at me, and I looked at him and Tadian said the F word. Like this. That's a true story.

[Tom Griswold]

Speaking of guitars. Oh, hey, Pat, can you play your song? We Were talking off the air about a certain person who showed up on the Epstein list.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Friend of the show.

[Chick McGee]

A.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, it's ad comedian.

[Chick McGee]

I'm just glad my name hasn't come up yet. Well, I mean, J, we were tight.

[Tom Griswold]

I just feel sorry.

[Chick McGee]

We're boys.

[Tom Griswold]

I feel so sorry for the journalists.

[Chick McGee]

He's my boy.

[Tom Griswold]

That have to go through. What is it now? 10 million pages of whatever testimony. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Will it ever stop?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

And now this is a song about.

[Pat Godwin]

It's called the Epstein List. Who's on the Epstein list? The country's mad wives are pissed. You know, it's just politics. But it seems everybody's on the Epstein list. Prince Andrew, that's obvious. But everybody's on the Epstein list. Nelson Mandela, the peace activist, Someone said he's on the Epstein list. Desmond Tutu And Pope Francis, Mr. Rogers, what are the chances? The Dalai Lama's publicist. Seems everybody is on the Epstein list. The guy from Dunkin Donuts who gets up early. Larry Mo and the first Curly. The unknown comic, the Maharishi. The guy who sold me my Mitsubishi. The guitar tech from Genesis. Everybody's on the Epstein list. Epstein List. People are pissed. Who's really on it? Who'd they miss? Left side, right side, down the middle. That guy from the band Kansas who plays the fiddle. Even my girlfriend's a really pissed. Apparently I'm on the Epstein list.

[Tom Griswold]

The first Curly.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Not Curly Joe. Dorito. Whatever it was. Ever notice every picture of Epstein? He's got his mouth closed. What if he had bad teeth?

[Christy Lee]

No, and I don't want to know. I don't care. I don't want to talk. I guess Bill and Hillary are going to be testifying the end of the month.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, God. Finally getting divorced?

[Christy Lee]

No. In front of the House committee about the Epstein vi.

[TJ Miller]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

See, now, coming up.

[Chick McGee]

Let me tell you something. I did not know Jeffrey Epstein.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Not even sure who it was. Pictures. That was the early version.

[Tom Griswold]

Version of asi.

[Willie G]

You're kind of nailing Clinton right now.

[Chick McGee]

I had a. I had a friend, Jeff, buy me gum. I don't remember any EP scenes. Certainly thought it was a regular. Regular gun. I can't believe. Put stuff in gum, can they?

[Tom Griswold]

We get versions of this story all the time. Did you see this story about the guy in the. With the. The blowtorch? And did I give that one to you? This is great.

[Christy Lee]

A Massachusetts man set fire to his house while using a blowtorch to melt ice. Fire crews responded to the home in Milton and spent hours putting out the stubborn blaze. Amid the icy conditions, the homeowner told WHDA that he was up on a ladder trying to melt ice in his gutter when the fire broke out and spread through the attic. Neither the man nor his wife were injured. Milton Fire Lt. John Earner said the incident serves as a lesson call in a professional when trying to take care of ice buildup and extreme cold. Ladies and gentlemen, what do you want to do?

[Willie G]

You buy the blowtorch. You want to have fun with it? You can't make creme brulee every day. You got to go up on the gutter. You got to light your own house on fire.

[Chick McGee]

Didn't Jess Hooker have a blowtorch?

[Willie G]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

She was melting ice on her driveway. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

We get these all the time. We had the one.

[Chick McGee]

She's a survivalist.

[Tom Griswold]

We had one where a guy. It was a lady burned down an apartment complex. She was trying to kill roaches, and she had a small flamethrower.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, God.

[Tom Griswold]

But, yeah, this guy almost burned his house down. But the good news is he got rid of the ice in the gutters.

[Chick McGee]

Thank goodness.

[Tom Griswold]

And the roof.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Pesky, can't it?

[Chick McGee]

Have you seen those videos on. I don't know why they seem to be popping up more. In my timeline, a guy knocks one of those vents off the side of a house. You've seen them. They're like an octagon.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You know, they're like vents on. Knocked it away. And there were, like, 30 bats come flying out of his house. And then there's like, some took a piece of siding in a room, and there's the biggest beehive you've ever seen.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

I'm on that Instagram ladies thing.

[Chick McGee]

And they said they only. Only we couldn't understand where the humming was coming from. It was a gigantic hive.

[Christy Lee]

There's a gal with an Instagram account. All she does is go in and take care of these huge, hot. These huge bee infestations. It's amazing where they go. It's fascinating.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Pat, can you grab your guitar? Don't you do a. A series, as I recall, where you take songs, and often a song, for example, most famously, the Yesterday Day, the great Paul McCartney song started off as scrambled eggs. Didn't you have an early version of Bruce Springsteen and that great song of his, I'm on Fire? Is that. What is it called? I'm on Fire or just fire?

[Chick McGee]

I think, yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

I think I Had something like that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, and here's a little tip, because this happened in my friend's neighborhood. Bruce, do you need more time?

[Tom Griswold]

Go ahead. What do you guys.

[Christy Lee]

If. If you have those batteries for, like, your lawnmower or. Make sure that you unplug those because. And charge them in the charger that they're provided with, because that can. It caused a major fire for someone. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, like the one on my leaf blower.

[Christy Lee]

Yes. But you use the actual charger it came with. Right. You don't have, like, a different charger.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, I got this.

[Chick McGee]

Are you sure? Watch this. Are you sure that's the right charger? Check that.

[Christy Lee]

You might want to unplug them, too. When you're. When they're charged, make sure you unplug them.

[Chick McGee]

But I know you're not an alarmist, so you won't take this too far. You'll be fine.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Now, Pat once again explores the origin of great songs. They often start off with either nonsense lyrics.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Or alternate lyrics. Again, Paul McCartney. Yesterday was scrambled.

[Pat Godwin]

The first draft. This is Springsteen's first. First draft of I'm on fire. Rigging up leaves after school Burn them in the P With diesel fuel no flames getting higher.

[Chick McGee]

I'm on fire

[Pat Godwin]

My wife left me all alone Think I'll make chicken while she's not oh, no, no.

[Chick McGee]

I spilled the fryer.

[Pat Godwin]

The house is on fire I.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes. He's very too literal.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. People often ask, do you guys are playing this show?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Is this live?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That was very good.

[Chick McGee]

So don't.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't take a flamethrower to your house.

[Christy Lee]

A blowtorch, whichever. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I was having, like two houses ago. They were doing some painting. I had a house that was built in 1924. Beautiful house. Some friends of mine live in it now and with this beautiful porch. Yeah. And they were out there with those Burn Somatic torches on ladders, burning off the lead paint on the.

[Chick McGee]

Well, sometimes that's how you have to get the paint off.

[Tom Griswold]

And it kept catching on fire.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Well, they're staying. You have to hang with it, but. Yeah, that's how you do it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Joe Dombrowski]

You're.

[Tom Griswold]

They're burning it and then scraping it,

[Chick McGee]

and they're scraped and you put the fire out. Yeah. You do as best you can. There's no other way to get that paint off sometimes.

[Tom Griswold]

Beautiful porch.

[Chick McGee]

I bet it looks fine now.

[Joe Dombrowski]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's right now.

[Christy Lee]

Don't look at the ceiling. It's a little Scorched.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Be careful out there with those torches.

[Chick McGee]

And you smell it every now and then. Only when it's wet.

[Tom Griswold]

No. We return to the news desk with Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

A long lost class ring from Nebraska's Crete High School has finally made its way home after more than half a century. A beachcomber with a metal detector unearthed the 1966 class ring buried in the city on a Belmore, New Jersey beach and noticed initials on it. He worked with local librarians in the Crete Public Schools foundation to trace the ring back to Barbara wildage, class of 66. Family and longtime classmates were stunned to learn the ring had survived decades and turned up nearly 13 miles from home with little damage. I said 1300 miles. Did not.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Christy Lee]

What'd I say? 1300 miles from home with little damage. Wildage's sister said, the journey remains a mystery, but the return is a reminder of kindness and community connections. I assume the woman's not with us anymore.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I couldn't tell.

[Christy Lee]

Well, if she's not involved in getting her ring back, it sounds like she's not with us.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not. It doesn't say that she's missing, but I'm sure before she died, she thought,

[Chick McGee]

well, at what point did you see this? And you said, hey, this will be a good story to read. Yeah.

[Willie G]

Everybody loves classic class rings, so we gotta talk about those.

[Chick McGee]

You know, I hawked my class ring during the first. Well, you know, this I. During the first gold boom in, like, the 80s or whatever it was. Yeah. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

How much do you get for it? You remember?

[Chick McGee]

I don't remember how much I hawked

[Christy Lee]

my first wedding ring.

[Chick McGee]

There you go. I like using the term hawk.

[Willie G]

It's nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I'm sure she probably thought this would never fall out of that guy's ass.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my gosh. Well, I hope she's dead.

[Pat Godwin]

That's a bad story.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you have your other.

[Chick McGee]

I wish I was dead.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you have any of your other wedding rings?

[Chick McGee]

You brought. You brought it up. Don't give me the stink, guy.

[Christy Lee]

First one. I do not. The second one, the diamond was reset. The third one, no.

[Chick McGee]

Well, you.

[Christy Lee]

I have the band.

[Chick McGee]

Don't you have to keep that for the girls?

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Pat Godwin]

All that's left is the band of gold.

[Chick McGee]

All that's left, free to pain. You can't touch her.

[Christy Lee]

But see, when you have two girls, then, sure, who gets the. You know.

[Chick McGee]

Well, luckily, you have enough husbands to go around.

[Tom Griswold]

You can get knocked.

[Chick McGee]

The guy who's been married three times, thank you very much.

[Willie G]

That Was thoughtful of you, Christy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. That's what you were. That's what you were doing. You have to have enough husbands for your daughter.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. So they could each have a ring. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

What's the tradition? Are you supposed to hang on to the wedding. Wedding dress.

[Christy Lee]

Okay. So I did. Okay. I got. They yelled at me for this, too. I. The wedding dress that I was married into their dad. I sold or gave it away when we moved. But I took. Because I'm short. I had to have quite a bit of. Of material cut off of it. So I saved that so that when they get married, we can use it for maybe making a bouquet or, you know, something. But they go, why'd you get rid of your dress? Well, it's not like they were gonna wear it. I mean, let somebody else get use out of it.

[Tom Griswold]

So you've got enough fabric to make a little something.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Like to put. Because that's the tradition, you know, maybe make a little something. I don't know what. Maybe a garter or.

[Chick McGee]

I was gonna say, you got any garters?

[TJ Miller]

Love

[Chick McGee]

me and pat like a garter. I like to wear a garter around my head like a sweatband.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Game warrants, though, right?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah. I got.

[Christy Lee]

Ever been with a woman who's wearing garters?

[Josh Arnold]

No.

[Chick McGee]

No. I'm. I'm a big fan of the nude

[TJ Miller]

women.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, here's more clothes you can put on. No.

[Christy Lee]

So lingerie is not a big thing for you guys?

[Tom Griswold]

Don't even notice it.

[Christy Lee]

That's really interesting.

[Willie G]

It's fun. It's fun for like 20 seconds. But I don't want the frilly umbrella. I want the drink.

[Pat Godwin]

You know, that's an excellent point.

[Willie G]

Let me get in there.

[Tom Griswold]

That is a nice analogy. Wonderful.

[Chick McGee]

Let me get in there. He said.

[Tom Griswold]

I know.

[Pat Godwin]

I hope you're not saying that I

[Chick McGee]

was still with the drink. Let me get in there.

[Willie G]

I'm taking my straw and I'm putting it in the drink.

[TJ Miller]

That was bad, too.

[Chick McGee]

Horse, you're not going to get out of this.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, Patty G. Did you have a. Did you have a high school class ring?

[Pat Godwin]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you get one?

[Chick McGee]

I did get one.

[Christy Lee]

I have mine. Do you have yours?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you have. But do you still have it?

[Pat Godwin]

I'll be darned.

[Chick McGee]

Where it is. Oh, I'm sure your parents wanted. There was no pawning in the Griswold hole.

[Josh Arnold]

Your.

[Chick McGee]

Your Is your cl. High school class ring with your brothers and sisters. No.

[Christy Lee]

You gave it to a girl and she never gave it back.

[Joe Dombrowski]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Huge Plaque at the country club in Boyne Highland. Is that where your ring is?

[Christy Lee]

Where is it?

[Tom Griswold]

First of all, it's pronounced Boyne Highlands.

[Chick McGee]

Whatever.

[Christy Lee]

Did you lose it swimming in Lake Michigan?

[Tom Griswold]

No, I don't.

[Pat Godwin]

Skinny dipping with some muffy.

[Josh Arnold]

Buffy.

[Chick McGee]

If anybody else gets this, let me know. But did you? And the Kennedys and that damn. That damn Skakel K Trade. Trade high school rigs. Is that what's happening?

[Christopher]

Right next up on the Bob and Tom show, there's an odor in the studio.

[Chick McGee]

Wonder what that could be.

[Christopher]

We'll find out next on the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah. I. I hate soup. I hate soup. You just never know the things that could go in soup.

[Jamie Lisso]

What?

[Chick McGee]

I hate soup. I hate soup. You just don't know all the things that could fall in soup. When I was a kid, my older sister baby sat for me and made a bowl of chicken soup. She couldn't make me eat it cause the parsley looked like fruit flies. So she broke a yardstick over my head.

[Tom Griswold]

Hate soup.

[TJ Miller]

I hate soup.

[Chick McGee]

You just never know the things that could go in soup. Alexander Solzhenitsyn wrote a Russian novel called A Day in the Life of Ivan Dasanovich. Ivan was eating some soup when he scooped an eyeball out of his spoon and didn't remember reading. And in the ingredients on the can. I hate soup. I hate soup. It scares me to death. What's holding its breath in soup? Soup. Soup. Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow, that's a.

[Chick McGee]

That's a beautiful tune.

[Christopher]

This is the best of the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Welcome back.

[Christopher]

This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. Well, in this segment, there's an odor in the studio.

[Chick McGee]

Let's.

[Christopher]

Let's find out what that is.

[Josh Arnold]

Is anyone else getting an ozone sort of odor?

[Pat Godwin]

Something. I thought I was having a spot.

[Chick McGee]

Somebody left. Left a door open or something.

[Pat Godwin]

Something electric.

[Josh Arnold]

But I just wanted to make sure I wasn't the only one. Thank you, Pastor.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace Cosby.

[Tom Griswold]

Something electric burning.

[Pat Godwin]

Something electric or plastic. Am I right?

[Chick McGee]

Something.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what it is when you and I talk, these microphones are on fire.

[Chick McGee]

I'm Chick McGee in the Air chair. Oh, here's Tom. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello. Thank you very much for joining us. A couple quick things here.

[Chick McGee]

Well, let's get.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's get back to some letters that I got. A request for Patty G. Get that guitar out, Pat.

[Christy Lee]

Dear Chick. Yeah, this is from garbage throwing Daddy outside Cincinnati.

[Josh Arnold]

Our pal.

[Christy Lee]

Yep. Wore my Crocs to work today. Been stubbing my toes all day.

[Chick McGee]

That's crocs. Dirty little secret. Yeah, they're very friendly to the stub toe. Oh, no. Yeah, Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I am not a fan.

[Christy Lee]

No, you've never worn them.

[Tom Griswold]

Of course I take one. Look at me.

[Chick McGee]

They look.

[Tom Griswold]

They look stupid.

[Christy Lee]

I bet if you pull them on, you would never take them off.

[Chick McGee]

You like those one shoes that are all plastic, too. I don't understand you, but go ahead. You got a letter.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and Tom Show. I've listened for 15 years become part of my morning ritual.

[Josh Arnold]

I wrote if he was just like, and I'm out. I've decided that's enough.

[Tom Griswold]

I have a very good L. I tried that.

[Chick McGee]

This is from. This is from Ryan. He says, I'm a lineman in Waldron, Indiana. You should look up other loon sounds. Well, I. I don't know why we have this one. Oh, yeah, Daddy. There's another sound they make that's very ominous. I've heard them a lot when I've been to Canada. Creepy at night if you aren't familiar. Keep up the good work. Love y'. All.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you, Brian.

[Tom Griswold]

We could do a whole segment. Creepy bird sounds, but we're all right. This is really interesting. This comes to us from Mr. B. We'll call him.

[Dave Dyer]

Hey, Mr. B.

[Tom Griswold]

You mentioned a place in the news. The Cox Science Center. That's Cox. That was in the news a couple days ago.

[Josh Arnold]

Learn the science of Cox.

[Tom Griswold]

I used to work for a newspaper in Dayton, Ohio, owned by the Cox. By the Cox Media Group. Sure.

[Josh Arnold]

They had Cox Cable and.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, Daily News.

[Tom Griswold]

I swear to God, they had a company newsletter called called the Cox Insider.

[Chick McGee]

Wow,

[Pat Godwin]

that's a risky name.

[Chick McGee]

You know, when I went to.

[Tom Griswold]

When I first saw it, I looked around the room and I said, is this really happening? They didn't notice.

[Chick McGee]

When I went to San Diego, the Cox Communications people were going to name the stadium where the soccer team played. And I said on the air, oh, they're. Maybe they'll be the Coxockers.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

And they wanted to get rid of me from that day forward.

[Pat Godwin]

That's funny.

[Christy Lee]

That is very funny.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Mr. Obvious]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

By the way, they call that not a good fit.

[Chick McGee]

Yes. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Mr. B continues. I do not work for the Cox Science center anymore or the Cox newspaper. But as we all say, once a Cox man, always a Cox man.

[Josh Arnold]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

You know, I can't remember the name of the morning papers. And Dayton, of course, it's out folded, but the Dayton Daily News, I remember that, but I don't remember the Dayton Daly's good. Yeah. Yeah, they were all right. I forget. Never mind.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you. Chrissy.

[Christy Lee]

You got a letter as a follow up to a letter from yesterday. Josh, I. I did see Faces of Death and I enjoyed it.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure it's more respectable than the.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Christy Lee]

Thanks for all the lapses from.

[Chick McGee]

That's not the word he wants. No one enjoys Faces of Death.

[Christy Lee]

I would hope not.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay, well, maybe this.

[Christy Lee]

Maybe he's a serial killer.

[Josh Arnold]

Apparently it has.

[Chick McGee]

Terry, I took notes during the entire.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that leads to this request. This comes to us from Mr. Lamb. He writes.

[Christy Lee]

He's always running.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Always.

[Tom Griswold]

Pat. Love your song. Voices in my Head.

[Chick McGee]

He's on the lamp. Oh, that's my favorite Pat Godwin song, too.

[Pat Godwin]

Thank you, chick.

[Chick McGee]

You're welcome.

[Tom Griswold]

And this is. Well, is this going to appear in your special? No. No.

[Chick McGee]

You know, some days. Lovey dovey. Some days he's really on that. And other days he.

[Pat Godwin]

I know.

[Tom Griswold]

When did you record that tv?

[Pat Godwin]

Last year this time maybe. Actually, February.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that company knows what they're doing.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Are they also doing the freeway near me? Probably entering year four.

[Chick McGee]

That's interesting.

[Josh Arnold]

Don't. Don't queer the dry bar deal that and I are also working on.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm so sorry.

[Chick McGee]

Are you. Do you know Tom Griswold? Get out.

[Josh Arnold]

Can you imagine?

[Pat Godwin]

You know, I'm seeing someone.

[Chick McGee]

Oh.

[Pat Godwin]

The forces in my head told me that I love you. The voices in my head said you love me too? Yes, they do. You know they're always right. So I' ma listen tonight to the voices in my hair. Yeah, all the voices in my head said we'll always be together. So I got your name tattooed in flamin red on my forehead? They come in crystal clear but my doctor, he can't hear. The voices in my head, yeah, the voices in my head said to stop my medication. Woo. Yeah, the voices in my head said to jump the wall and run and buy a gun. You know they're always right.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

So I won't put up a fight with the voices in my head. I see you on tv and the voices are telling me that you want me and you need me and your boyfriend should be dead and gone. The voices in my head said to break in your apartment and hide under the bed? Cause your love was just a lie. You too must die soon. Tonight I'll stalk but tomorrow I'm insane? So my lawyer says I'll walk. Forces in my hand got forces in my head. The Forces in my head. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Red rum.

[Tom Griswold]

Red rum. Oh, sorry. Thank you very much, Pat. We had Cox earlier in the news. Now we have, we had the famous newsletter, the Cox Insider that reminds me of our great piece, a classic piece, Dickens Cider, which we can't play anymore. Right. Okay, good. We'll be back with other things. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christopher]

And we're coming right back with another hour of the Best of the Bob and Tom Show, a segment from opening day in Cincinnati. And Oliver and Jimmy Pardo. A segment with those guys coming up in just a minute. But coming up next, comedian TJ Miller. You're gonna hear that next here on the Best of the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back. This is the Bob and Tom Show. The Best of the Bob and Tom Show. Some stuff we've picked out for you to play on this Memorial Day Monday. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom Studios. How about a segment with comedian T.J. miller?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, the handsome factor in this room just went way up.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[TJ Miller]

And the intelligence factor went way down.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I didn't want to say it that way, but I think it goes without saying. He is comedian T.J. miller. That's a very fancy.

[Chick McGee]

Isn't that nice?

[Tom Griswold]

I know you're, you're from Denver, right?

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, I am.

[Tom Griswold]

That's, that's got kind of a western feel.

[TJ Miller]

Does it feel like that? Black people love this jacket. The whole joke about it. That's not usually how people open their radio segment.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, right, right.

[TJ Miller]

But they really, really do. And I get compliments on it in Manhattan. I live in New York City as a stand up comedian. That's sort of where you need to be, I think, to do the most amount of shows. I can do like three or four shows in one night. But yeah, originally from Denver and my family, I just came from last night. My mother in law lives in Indiana and Springport at a horse farm.

[Christy Lee]

Cool.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, it's really cool. And until she sort of baits you into doing yard work before coming in to do this show last night, I felt, you know, I needed to drive in. I stayed somewhere near here. Cause it's the biggest radio show in the world. And I thought it was very funny that as I said, okay, I think I'm gonna get going. My mother in law kind of goes, okay, well be careful on the way out. Cause there's a lot of overgrowth of the black raspberry brush there. So on the way out and I Go.

[Mr. Obvious]

Oh, okay.

[TJ Miller]

Well, yeah, I'm gonna head out. If only. It'd be nice to get that pruned, but you know how it is. And getting. And I, I'm feeling so tired because, well, you know, and it just. For some reason it takes about a minute and a half from a mother in law and then I'm out there with shears cutting and it's getting dark. How did, how did this happen? And I love it. I love working. I think that's a big part of why she likes me and my wife likes me. But I. So I'm not kind of. I don't want to do this, but I'm out there and then I don't know about all of you, but I have a little bit of tenacity in me. I think it's that Midwest west for me, it's Colorado. It's that once I start something, I gotta get it done.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, right.

[TJ Miller]

And so then it's done. It's 45 minutes or an hour later. And I just, I see myself kind of looking at the shape, seeing if I can shape it a little bit so that it follows a bit around because I want it to be along the sidewalk but not too far out from. And I go, what am I doing? I've got to do both the talk tomorrow. So finally I say, I gotta get out of here. And she's just like, like my father. And I think we all have a parent. Usually it's one, not two. But did you guys have a parent who just, even if you did the best job, tried the hardest you possibly could, put everything into it. You're out there trying to shape the black raspberry shrub to sort of be in the visage of your mother in law. So it looks beautiful, but it's still kind of thorny. And, and you're kind of of going, you know, what do you think? And they go, that was fine. Yeah, that was quite fun.

[Christy Lee]

We could have maybe done that.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, right, exactly. I don't even think I listened to that. You want to hear any more from me, I'll be on the radio.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm on YouTube.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah, right, exactly. Where are all my.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you call her by her first name?

[TJ Miller]

Yes, but I do like this. I don't think she's up early enough to be listening to this. Her name is Hermione.

[Tom Griswold]

What is it?

[TJ Miller]

Hermion. And it's spelled like Hermione. Okay, from the right, but she pronounces it Hermione. And I don't often do this joke because I'm afraid she'll hear it. But every single time I address her like you said, you know, do you call her by her first? I'm like Hermione. I always kind of want to go her, Hermione. You do know that you're pronouncing your name wrong? Does anyone talk to you about that? But yeah, I'll call her Hermione. And then she has this great boyfriend. This is kind of the world that we live in and I love it. I love that my 70 something mother in law has a boyfriend. My father now has a girlfriend and he's 81.

[Christy Lee]

Good for him.

[TJ Miller]

Oh, I think it's great. And, and she's. I'll do the joke about my mother in law, not him. But you know, her boyfriend is like, I don't know, 65 or something. So really robbing the cradle

[Chick McGee]

like that.

[TJ Miller]

So she's. It's fun. And my father's dating a girl who's, you know, younger. I like saying girl. She's like 68 or something, but she is. But I mean it's, you know, it's really fun. So. And he's really, he's very interesting. He's a Quaker, which, you know, I don't come across a lot of Quakers in my day to day life. I hang out at bars a lot though, so maybe that's part of it. There's not a lot of intersections with what I do. Sure, I guess if it's legal. I'm in a dispensary often. Not a lot of Quakers in there. But he's just a brilliant guy and loves to talk about religion and he's a fisher and he's always dressed. You know anybody like that? Especially like in Indiana. My wife's from Michigan. Time the all. So you know anybody who kind of. They're always dressed in Colorado, we say this to it. They're always dressed like they're just about to go fishing. It's not necessarily gonna happen. But if somebody walked in and goes,

[Chick McGee]

we gotta get to the creek now,

[TJ Miller]

they're kind of like, oh yeah. Well I have, you know, all my bait and tackle is in these cargo pants.

[Josh Arnold]

That's great.

[Tom Griswold]

TJ Miller is our guest.

[TJ Miller]

I have an interesting thing where people say, well, what do you, you know, what do people recognize you from? And it really is just demographics, you know, I mean it's, there's all tech. People know me from Silicon Valley. A lot of people love that. But that was on hbo. So then a lot of people recognize me from Deadpool. I Was in the first two Deadpools, so I'll get recognized for that. But then I was in a film called Office Christmas Party, which is an R rated Christmas movie. It's really, really fun. It's a little more cocaine than most Christmas movies. Well, depending on how you like, like to watch them. If you DO radio at 5am Sometimes that's a part of your Christmas evening if you've got to work, you know, in the next couple days. So you know that. And then, you know, some people recognize me from Transformers 4 Age of Extinction. So that's people who like cars, you know, some of that and robots, I guess. And so people kind of know in horror movie fans to me from Cloverfield. I did this film called Underwater and then a big movie that a lot of my fan base loves is she's out of My League.

[Josh Arnold]

That's, that's my favorite.

[TJ Miller]

And I bet, because I really do. I know not a lot about you enough that we hugged in the green room, or at least I tried to and you walked away. But I, I felt, I feel like my fan base, a lot of them. And if you look at my wife, you can look up a picture of my, my wife, she's so, she's completely out of my league. And I have a lot of people that come to my shows and they're couples. And it is always a beautiful woman, cool woman, you know, just fun, funny. Call it Midwest 10. When it's a beautiful girl and she's smart and funny, she can still kill a six pack and wants to tailgate, but will yell at you until you need to go to bed. But also says, I did something special for Taco Tuesday.

[Chick McGee]

That to me.

[TJ Miller]

That to me.

[Tom Griswold]

There you go.

[TJ Miller]

And so she is very that. And, and a lot of the guys that come and see me and the couples will come and it's like this gorgeous girl, cool girl, really funny girl. And then this guy who like you and I kind of, you look at the couple, you're like, how did that happen? This guy, this guy is really. I would not expect this at all. I say when I walk down the street with my wife, people are confused. They look at each other and go, I didn't know they didn't make a wish at this.

[Tom Griswold]

I get the how come she's with her dad.

[TJ Miller]

But that's. I'm going to be. My wife and I are in our 40s now and we're kind of getting to the. We did sort of in vitro and the, the freezing of the embryo. So we have four Frozen children. Three girls and one boy. And so he's in there going, me first, please. But, yeah, I think it's. We live in a very interesting time. Very interesting.

[Tom Griswold]

You mentioned the girlfriend thing. I mean, we. In English, we don't have a good word for that. My sister has a boyfriend. She's my older sister, and I often refer to Kelly as my girlfriend. We have two children together.

[TJ Miller]

No, you know what? And I say that I. Actually, I was talking about this the other day. I'm glad you brought that up, because I sometimes say to my wife, you know, do you think I'm being a good enough boyfriend? Or. I'll say, you know, well, I'm just trying to. You know, I'm just your boyfriend doing. So I'll kind of interchange husband and boyfriend, because I often find that husband becomes a little more institutional. Yeah, well, it's my wife, so, you

[Christy Lee]

know, she's not going anywhere. I don't have to try so hard.

[TJ Miller]

So as a boyfriend, I did this great. I'm gonna. I'm gonna teach everybody a trick right now to use. I pranked my wife. Okay. And. And so what I did was I. I travel every weekend because I love doing Sienna. I'm just absolutely fascinated by it. I just think it is one of the most interesting things a person can do. And I'm an improviser. So I started in Second City in Chicago, and a lot of my show is improvised. You'll see. I have a special on YouTube called Dear Jim Jonah. Started off as a special about pandemic material. And I talked to this kid. He had cargo pants. That clip is online, has like 20 million views. And he kind of derailed the show a bit. And then he was part of the show and more part of the show, and I involved. And then by the end, we did the closer together, and it was just great. So the whole special is largely improvised. I did another special. Is all crowd was work. I do a lot of improvisation because I think if you come to my show, it should be just for you. I love the idea of if you're coming to a live event, it's. I improvise. No one else will ever see the same show. I will never perform this exact show. It's just for us, just that night. And you've torn your attention away from a screen, which is really hard for any of us to do. And you're just present. You're there, and I love, love that. I just absolutely love it. And so I came up with this thing that I thought was really Funny, I told Kate that I was going to Irvine, California. It was all in the calendar, the pickup, the flights, everything. And she thought nothing of it. And I said, all right, well, I'm gonna leave. Can you say goodbye to me? And now she's my wife, so she was like, I gotta do errands now. Please come. Come home and see me off. She go, okay. And then I go, can you come downstairs and just give me a kiss when I leave? Now she's starting to go, all right, buddy. Okay, I'll do that. Seems a little clingy, but all right. She comes downstairs, give me a kiss. She's in front of the building. The black car is there. So I go, I say goodbye. I put my baggage into the back. I get into the car, open the door. I say, all right, I love you. I'll see you soon. I'm off to California.

[Chick McGee]

California.

[TJ Miller]

And I get in the car, close the door, open the door. I have a bouquet of red roses. I get my stuff out of the back and I come up to her and I go, wow, that really flew by. It's the fastest I've ever been to California. It almost seems like I never left. Anyway, what do you want to do this weekend? And she's like, what is happening? And I surprised her. I was. I had no work that weekend, so I stayed with her the whole weekend. And she's an artist, and so I pretended to be her art assistant and I did all the errands that she wanted and all that. And it's one of the best things I've ever done in the marriage because it really kind of revitalized her. Now, we didn't need any help with the two of us, but I think she just. She had started to feel like she was the in between. You know, she got attention when I wasn't working.

[Tom Griswold]

I thought you were going to say you posed nude.

[TJ Miller]

Oh, I was nude in the car.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[TJ Miller]

I'm a quick change artist.

[Chick McGee]

I was in complete different clothing when I got out.

[TJ Miller]

Did I mention that I was in a full ball gown?

[Tom Griswold]

Is she an artist? Is she a painter?

[TJ Miller]

She's an installation artist. So she goes into a room like this and changes every part of it to be a part of the installation. And so it's really fascinating. She's quite famous in the south of France, actually. And then New York is kind of slowly catching up and understanding is your.

[Tom Griswold]

Is the place you live. Does she constantly change that around?

[TJ Miller]

No, she's pretty hard and fast about. But she's very good at interior Design. And she's kind of good at everything.

[Tom Griswold]

Does she touch your stuff?

[TJ Miller]

It depends on how many roses and how naked I am.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, not that stuff.

[Josh Arnold]

I meant. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I bet you're, you know, I. Do you have your own place in your house that she's not allowed just to walk in and go, why isn't this here?

[TJ Miller]

Oh, yeah, I have a full. Just a big kind of shelf and that's.

[Tom Griswold]

You have the one shelf.

[TJ Miller]

Can't touch anything.

[Chick McGee]

I think it's all her stuff.

[Tom Griswold]

We live in the same world.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[TJ Miller]

Well, it's. I think, you know, you do kind of want that. And I. I did finally say it's funny, though. We live in an apartment in Manhattan and it's incredibly nice and it is just. Manhattan is cost prohibitive. It's so expensive. We have this beautiful place and it is a one bedroom and it's really nice because you don't have to walk from the kitchen to the dining room to the living room or anything because they're all the same room. We play that game a lot.

[Christy Lee]

Where.

[TJ Miller]

But yeah, so it's. It's not a. It's not a big place, but I like a lot of the. Yeah. I realize.

[Josh Arnold]

Are you.

[TJ Miller]

Are any of you like this? I kind of. I'm not a guy who goes, well, don't touch her. I don't like this. Or I'm sort of. I go with the flow. I'm easygoing and I like her taste and I like, you know, how she makes everything look. But yeah, I think I find little corners and little areas where I go, this. I'm. I'm doing, doing this. I don't want anything.

[Tom Griswold]

Does she criticize the way you dress. For a friend?

[Chick McGee]

Something makes me think you're not talking about TJ Anymore.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I'm sorry, I got off topic.

[Christopher]

We are coming right back with another funny segment with Jimmy Pardo and his son Oliver. The Pardos are next. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Hope you're having a great Memorial Day weekend. This is Christopher in the Bob and Tom studios. This is the best of the Bob and Tom Show. In this segment, comedian Jimmy Pardo and his son Oliver Pardo.

[Tom Griswold]

Today is bring your son to work day. We have yours truly along with my son Willie G. Right there.

[Willie G]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And then across the way, it's a veteran stand up. Come comedian Jimmy Pardo.

[Pat Godwin]

Hello.

[Tom Griswold]

Along with his son, Oliver Pardo.

[Chick McGee]

Hello.

[Tom Griswold]

Who is currently in college, but also doing a little bit of drama, a little bit of a stand up. And we were Talking about how you're a big fan of classic rock. Yesterday I was. I. I just gotten home and I'm walking by my. My 10 year old daughter Hart walks by and she's singing should I stay or should I go? Classic like what?

[Chick McGee]

The Clash?

[Tom Griswold]

And of course I said, where'd you hear that? And of course it's. It's Stranger Things, which she has now watched three or four times in its entirety. It's become her Life. It's a 10 year old.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

She watching Strangers.

[Christy Lee]

That's what I kind of said too, Jimmy. But I've not.

[Tom Griswold]

I bailed.

[Chick McGee]

And I like horror movies. Is unwatchable.

[Dave Dyer]

But I think it's not all.

[Chick McGee]

I, I think it's scary.

[Tom Griswold]

It's. I think it's because of the, the kind of the, the camaraderie among, among the kids. But she loves that show. She's got a Stranger Things bathrobe, posters, the whole. But the. But the other point of it is there's so many great songs that they're using and then obscure Bob and Tom show trivia. In the final season of Stranger Things, there's a scene in a radio station and if you look carefully, there's a Bob and Tom bumper scene.

[Chick McGee]

Is it really?

[Christy Lee]

That's awesome.

[Chick McGee]

Cool.

[Tom Griswold]

On the wall. So whoever is the art director for that show which is supposed to be taking place near here. So that. Pretty cool.

[Chick McGee]

That's great.

[Willie G]

That was in season two.

[Chick McGee]

A kid.

[Willie G]

There's a poster of Mild Camp Cam Crosley in the background. The art director on that show. Nailed it.

[Josh Arnold]

Is heart aware of the, the Bob and Tom reference in Stranger Things.

[Tom Griswold]

I showed it to her the other day.

[Josh Arnold]

Did it up your cred with her at all.

[Tom Griswold]

You must understand, I get a lot of pushback even from, you know, like from Willie, but from Hart. It's unbelievable. The level.

[Willie G]

Okay, what did I do, by the way? How did I get thrown in there? I really caught some shrapnel there. I didn't do anything.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no. You're, you're. I mean the pushback I get from Hart is unbelievable. You give me a little bit of push back, of course, which is.

[Chick McGee]

But why did he get friendly fire at all in that? You think the push back game for Willie's horrible. Nobody was thinking that.

[Willie G]

Remember when we were on here one day and he goes, Willie's a good kid. He keeps his head down.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But I got a great deal of pushback from her. She has attitude, lots of it.

[Willie G]

She's like a roast comedian now. She used to be so nice.

[Josh Arnold]

We got to get her in here.

[Caller Mr. Obvious]

It's.

[Dave Dyer]

She.

[Tom Griswold]

She.

[Willie G]

She can ruin your day with one little line.

[Tom Griswold]

I can ruin it right now. You know what she did? What? The gym that we go to, they do a NCAA men's college basketball pool. It's like five bucks a hit. Last year, she won $11,000. What?

[Christy Lee]

Now she drew a. She drew the.

[Tom Griswold]

You draw. You draw.

[Christy Lee]

Not a bracket.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

She won a thousand bucks. Guess who she drew two weeks ago.

[Christy Lee]

Arizona?

[Tom Griswold]

Illinois.

[Chick McGee]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

So. And again. So there's a good chance that she'll win another thousand.

[Willie G]

This isn't a joke. She has more money than I have in my checking account right now.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow.

[Willie G]

It's just 100% true.

[Tom Griswold]

She wants to get another dog. So last she's going, look, I can. Because she's. And she's got a picture of the dog she wants to get from the kennel, and, you know, we already have two, and we're not getting another one. Yeah, I hope, but.

[Christy Lee]

No, you want another dog, but I

[Tom Griswold]

don't get a vote on this one.

[Chick McGee]

How much is the Stranger Things robe? Is it a thousand dollars?

[Josh Arnold]

It seems like it would be, doesn't it?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, it seems very niche, and it's.

[Tom Griswold]

It is a nice robe.

[Chick McGee]

I don't doubt it. Nobody's doubting that, Tom. Nobody's. How bad's this robe?

[Tom Griswold]

No, nobody.

[Chick McGee]

That was the first thought. Like, yeah, it's not a good robe. Like, nobody thought that.

[Tom Griswold]

Then I. I had a. At a poster made. If you see the poster, it looks like she's in Stranger Things.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, graphic design.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. Yes.

[Chick McGee]

That's fun.

[Tom Griswold]

We spent quite a bit of time with that, but it's perfect.

[Christy Lee]

Does she love it?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Jimmy, are you a robe man?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Chick McGee]

In fact, I don't know anybody that's a real person. And then I. I always see it on movies and tv, where they always walk out with their coffee and the robe. I've not. I don't know, a single rogue person. Are you a robe guy?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm not either.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't own one.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, right.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know that I'm against it, though.

[Chick McGee]

I'm not against it. But I do think it's weird, though, if I show up at a friend's house and they go, hey, come on in here. And they're in a robe that's on. What are you doing? Are you Hugh Hefner? Put some pants on.

[Willie G]

I only ever use a robe at a hotel if I'm, like, gonna go do laps or something. And every time I think I look fine, and then I get in the elevator and I look at myself in the mirror and it's just way too short. You can see my knee. It looks like I'm wearing, like a fun little beach cover up slit.

[Josh Arnold]

You use the hotel robes?

[Willie G]

Yes, no, I do.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Willie G]

That's me. And I just use it to go down there. And I. Every time I look at looking, I go this. I look huge and dainty at the same time.

[Chick McGee]

When you say laps. Yeah. Swimming is. Yeah, okay.

[Willie G]

Scooping around down there.

[Chick McGee]

You love it. But you put the robe on. You get out there, splash it out. They're weird.

[Tom Griswold]

And they've got the belt.

[Christy Lee]

What? Of course they have a belt.

[Josh Arnold]

The ob, as it's known.

[Chick McGee]

What is the. The. The belt's known.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Obi. That's crossword 101 right there. Oh, yeah.

[Willie G]

Kenobi.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Huh?

[Christy Lee]

It's a Japanese term, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

The kimonos.

[Tom Griswold]

I had to look that one up. I didn't. Yeah, but I'd forgotten. Yeah, that's right.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Christy, you. You gave us robes years ago. Mine is in storage somewhere.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, with the Bob and Tom logo on it.

[Josh Arnold]

Oliver, would you like a robe?

[Chick McGee]

I'm not a big robe guy. My roommate's a robe guy. He is the robe.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

So you're a college. Your college roommate wears a robe, comes

[Chick McGee]

out with a robe. It's got pockets in it. And he always just walks around and hands in pockets, just like. Like he's, you know, minding his field, you know? Yeah, he's looking at his l. Yeah.

[Willie G]

Are you guys in, like, a dorm, like a shared thing, or does he have his own room?

[Chick McGee]

No, no, shared room.

[Willie G]

And he's just. Robe on, robe on.

[Chick McGee]

Rocking the robe constantly.

[Christy Lee]

Is that good for bathroom? Like you have to a communal bathroom or do you guys.

[Chick McGee]

We have a shared bathroom, just the two of us.

[Josh Arnold]

One has to assume his f. His father is a Robman.

[Willie G]

Right.

[TJ Miller]

He's got.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah. Under the robe. What is. Are there pajamas under the robe? Sweatpants, T shirts under the ro.

[Christy Lee]

So,

[Tom Griswold]

yes. One graceful tug and. Oh, hello.

[Pat Godwin]

Cuz.

[Willie G]

My. My brother was a robe guy, and he would always wear it, and he didn't know you have to have basketball shorts or something under there.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, okay. He would just go al fresco.

[Willie G]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

He.

[Willie G]

He kind of likes being out.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

How about that? Lebowski was a Roman.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was big, too.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Ace robe. Yes or no?

[Chick McGee]

I have robe one, but I don't.

[Christy Lee]

He has a really nice KISS robe that has Ace on it.

[Willie G]

How do you know about that?

[Christy Lee]

Because. Because I used to know someone in Kiss, and, yeah, he was gifted it because Ace Freely's not in the band anymore, and they thought. Never mind.

[Willie G]

Oh, that's a really nice kiss, Robo.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, it is, isn't. It's? Red with black. It's really nice.

[Chick McGee]

Avalon Attractions. Say it again. Avalon Attractions. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The production company, right? Is it. Is it a game worm robe? Like a.

[Christy Lee]

No, no, no.

[Chick McGee]

Still exciting. Quiet. How did I lose you halfway through that? Chris, you. The word no is only two letters. Somehow you lost interest after the end.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Willie G]

We're done.

[Chick McGee]

I'm. We're done. We're not talking robes anymore. Moving on.

[Tom Griswold]

I want to move on to sweatpants.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, great.

[Tom Griswold]

I am not a fan.

[Chick McGee]

What do you mean?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't own any.

[Christy Lee]

He won't wear sweatpants.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't ever wear them.

[Christopher]

You know what?

[Tom Griswold]

Don't you like the comfort of the implication of failure?

[Mr. Obvious]

Real.

[Jess Hooker]

What?

[Christy Lee]

He won't. He won't wear a crew neck shirt either.

[Chick McGee]

Say it again, please.

[Christy Lee]

A crew neck shirt.

[Chick McGee]

Every shirt has to have a collar.

[Christy Lee]

Everything has to have a collar. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Can't wear a T shirt or a

[Christy Lee]

Henley because it buttons.

[Chick McGee]

A Henley doesn't have a collar. But it buttons so that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I don't like the type.

[Chick McGee]

So you would. We talked about the last time I was here. We talked at length about my classic rock T shirt collection.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't wear T shirts at all Ever?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Ever. You go, hey, I'm gonna go out in the yard and garden. Let's pretend you do that. I'm gonna go out in the garden. Yard. Yarden. I'm gonna go out in the garden. Yarden. It happened to me. Did I used to have a stroke?

[Willie G]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I did.

[Willie G]

Willie one. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You are not a doctor, though.

[Josh Arnold]

No, I'm not.

[Chick McGee]

So just.

[Tom Griswold]

That's just.

[Chick McGee]

You're.

[Willie G]

It's. It's okay. I'm not a doctor, though, but my dad does radio, so I know what I'm talking.

[Chick McGee]

So, you know, don't worry about it. So you go to the yard and garden. What do you put on, like a. A. A polo?

[Christy Lee]

Like, what he's wearing.

[Tom Griswold]

I can't see from polo shirt. Like. Okay.

[Chick McGee]

So a polo is okay? Yeah. Even if it's. If it's Jersey material, like a T. T shirt. As long as it has a collar, you're okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jamie Lisso]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Sweatpants. No.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

You wear sweatpants.

[Chick McGee]

What Are you asking me, do you wear sweatpants? Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

You go out with them? Do you drive places and.

[Chick McGee]

No, but I will. Like, you know, here's the thing. I wear sweatpants as a sleep pant, okay? Because I don't like an open. I don't like bell bottom. You know, the Lucy pajama bottom? So I wear a sweatpant to sleep, and then like, oh, I need to run out to 711 or. Or target. I will run out in those. But no, I won't go. Hey, I'll meet you for lunch. You wear a sweatpants, right? No, I'm not.

[Tom Griswold]

Oliver, on the. On the college scene, do some of your contemporaries go to class and sweatpants?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, 100%.

[TJ Miller]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

One guy, a friend of mine. Friend. Friend Lee with him. He wore sweatpants every single day of class. Final day of class, he wore real pants. I said, oh, look at you in real pants pants. He goes, come on, man, that's not cool. What do you mean? It's your choice.

[Pat Godwin]

What do you mean?

[Chick McGee]

It was so weird. He was like, ah, come on. We don't talk about that, man. What do you mean, the old pants you.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, what are you talking about?

[Willie G]

Soundspoken.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

But Tom does have Lululemon shorts.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, so you wear. You the tight Lululemon.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, just gym shorts. Wear them to bed.

[Christy Lee]

They're not tight like Lululemon leggings.

[Tom Griswold]

Baggy like underwear shorts.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't like basketball shorts.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, okay.

[Chick McGee]

I didn't know lemonade made a loose.

[Christy Lee]

I did not either.

[Chick McGee]

Everything was tight with the lul.

[Tom Griswold]

No, you like that. I'm not gonna wear tight shorts to bed.

[Christy Lee]

I. You know what? I would not be surprised by anything that you do.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much.

[Chick McGee]

Where would you wear a tight short? Because I think I would only wear them to bed. I don't think I'd have the. The guns to wear a tight short out in the world. Yeah, but you know what? That's got a cushioned tucus.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, that's.

[Tom Griswold]

You ever seen that? There's a famous picture of a. Of a cycling crew. It's all over the Internet. And they got the super tight shorts on. And. Yeah, you can tell their religion.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I get it.

[Tom Griswold]

Based on the focus. Yeah. Let's check in briefly with Christy Lee at the Baba Tom news desk. What's happening over there?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, boy. In Florida, authorities pulled over a motorist who had fake missiles sticking out of the back of his truck.

[Josh Arnold]

Funny.

[Christy Lee]

Florida highway patrol said it received multiple calls from drivers on Interstate 4.

[Josh Arnold]

Boy, I get nervous when I drive behind somebody with Yosemite Sam mud flap.

[Chick McGee]

I was gonna say, who's this guy?

[Christy Lee]

Wiley Coyote, who reported what appeared to be, quote a truck with missiles mounted to the truck bed.

[Tom Griswold]

So people thought these were real missiles?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

The so called rocket man was intercepted by state troopers on State Road 39 near Plant City. They determined the missiles were plastic devices used for show and events. Troopers offered the driver some advice on how to better transfer transport the articles. What kind of show or event would you need? Fake missiles?

[Tom Griswold]

And don't fake missiles have to have orange tips like the.

[Chick McGee]

Like, like a gun?

[Tom Griswold]

Like your fake gun?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, Maybe they were on their way to a Desert Storm reenactment. The Civil War. Everybody went, we've seen it.

[Christy Lee]

But see, even if they had orange tips, I wouldn't know that that was fake. I didn't know that until you just said that.

[Tom Griswold]

You know toy guns with the orange tips.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, absolutely. I did not know that.

[Chick McGee]

Oh well, I mean, but when, when you say shouldn't missiles have an orange tip? Have you ever seen a fake missile? I've never seen a fake.

[Christy Lee]

I've never seen a fake missile.

[Josh Arnold]

Only in pictures from North Korea. Like those parades where they were. They were like all cardboard and stuff.

[Tom Griswold]

They had to cancel the. The parade because of rain. The shade nuke was melting on the trailer.

[Chick McGee]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

There's.

[Christy Lee]

Oh my.

[Tom Griswold]

See those? Look, they look deadly.

[Chick McGee]

I may call somebody if I see that too.

[Dave Dyer]

I don't.

[Chick McGee]

I don't think I was envisioning that.

[Christy Lee]

No, I wasn't either.

[Josh Arnold]

They look real.

[Tom Griswold]

And that guy looks crazy. You don't have to shoot him. That guy gets road rage. He. He takes out the minivan behind him.

[Willie G]

Yeah, I'm calling the. If I encounter that in the Panera Bread drive thru, I'm calling the cops for sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, that's that. They both look deadly.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, he's got a bunker.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, there's no doubt. He's got a. With cans of beans. They look a little bit like the toy rocket. When we have. When we were kids we had the toy rocket that you would light. You'd hope it go up in the sky. It kind of looks like that a little bit. So I might have.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean the ones you pump with water.

[Christy Lee]

No, you would like because those things are great.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, those are pretty good.

[Tom Griswold]

Those were fun and they worked.

[Chick McGee]

Nobody said they didn't.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, because a lot of the stuff when you were. Did you ever get. Did you ever fall for the sea monkeys in the back?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, Even the Evil Knievel, where it's like you, you cranked it up and it's like it's going to go over Snake River. It's like it barely came off the ramp. There we go. He conk, then he fall on his side, foot and a half later.

[Tom Griswold]

And Oliver, Oliver, I think both you and Willie grew up in an era when the toy surprises and cereals were really crappy. They were like wrapped in plastic bags. When we grew up, we get like these metal submarines. You'd put a tablet in them and you'd get in the bathtub, they'd go dive, dive, dive. But those days are gone. The toy surprise. But I, there was also a period of time. Are they still doing a lot of the toys at fast food places?

[Chick McGee]

Yes. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Because there, because there was an era in my life when the, I had in the back, in the back of the Suburban, there'd be, you know, 14 toys from the history of fast food restaurants.

[Chick McGee]

Really? You have a father that probably bought you stuff like that, right?

[TJ Miller]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Weird stuff.

[Willie G]

Yeah, you bet.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Willie G]

Oh, yeah, sure, I got a bunch.

[Christopher]

We're going to come right back in just a minute with a very funny segment from opening day. Baseball's opening day in Cincinnati. That's next here on the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Bob and Tom.

[Christopher]

This is the best of the Bob and Tom Show. We are back with one more segment here on this Monday morning. It's from opening day in Cincinnati. Very funny segment here.

[Chick McGee]

Let's check it out.

[Tom Griswold]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show show, special edition of the Bob and Tom show coming to you. Courtesy of Lee's famous recipe chicken. We have found ourselves in a beautiful spot in North America, Covington, Kentucky, usa. Yep, we're up on a deus at a beautiful spot. It's a restaurant called Smoke Justice. We got a great crowd here. Look at this. Handsome, handsome. We're calling this the mobile O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Today here at Smoke justice, we have a bunch of guests. This is a little bit confusing. We've opened up some extra microphones. Comedian Mark Shalafu right there.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Kelly Collette, comedian is right there. Kelly, good to see you. Willie G. Comedian is right there.

[Willie G]

Hey, we made it.

[Tom Griswold]

Pat Godwin.

[Chick McGee]

Hello.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's see. Oh, wait a minute. There's Jeff Oskar. He's in the back there with a. Hey, everybody, Jeffrey is still there. This is Christy Lee right next to me. This is Tom speaking. Thank you very much. And we have a, a guest we met last year. He is Pastor Mike Hi, Pastor Mike. We're doing that again. Great. Okay. Now, is that indeed your title? Is that.

[Chick McGee]

Are you it? That is indeed my title.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. 100. Yeah. Okay. But your actual name is Mike.

[Chick McGee]

It is, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You are a pastor.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Okay. I wasn't born Pastor Mike, but yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

It'd be awkward if you're. If you were to have the same name as one of our former presidents. Pastor Bush would be kind of a unfortunate.

[Willie G]

He's a man of the cloth.

[Christy Lee]

What are you doing?

[Tom Griswold]

He volunteered for this.

[Chick McGee]

I'm used to these attacks.

[Josh Arnold]

It's fine.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, the way this works is we have this script. This is from a great comedian from San Francisco, Dan St. Paul. And he does a terrific piece called the First Baseball Game.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And has a biblical theme to it. So you being a pastor, this. This is right up your alley. So we're going to have various people doing the voices of Harry Cary, but mostly. Mostly you. So good luck with it, and good luck to all of us.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

Unfortunately, I have to start, so.

[Christy Lee]

Here we go.

[Tom Griswold]

Here we go.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, fans.

[Tom Griswold]

This is Harry Carey. Welcome to today's game between the Bethlehem Braves and the Jerusalem Giants. Kind of a sparse crowd here today as a plague of locusts has made it tough to get out to the ballpark. You can hear the vendors, though.

[Willie G]

Hey, Mana, get your. Mana. Who wants bread from heaven?

[Chick McGee]

It's hot.

[Willie G]

It's fresh.

[Chick McGee]

It just fell hot.

[Willie G]

Mana, here.

[Chick McGee]

Penance. Penance.

[Christy Lee]

Our Fathers Hail Marys. Can't get absolution without an act of contrition. Who wants a rosary?

[Jess Hooker]

Here.

[Tom Griswold]

Water.

[Pat Godwin]

Water.

[Josh Arnold]

What?

[Pat Godwin]

Wine. Who wants wine?

[Jess Hooker]

Peter looks to the Jesus. I went.

[Christy Lee]

Lois.

[Jess Hooker]

First Jesus gives him the sign. Holy cow. Pete.

[Christy Lee]

No, you keep going, Family Guy.

[Jess Hooker]

I know I keep going, Lois. Pete. Pete. Peter denies it. He gives it to him again. He denies it again. He tries it one more, gets it again. The night again. That's three times. Jesus is out to give Peter a sermon on the mountain.

[Tom Griswold]

Mike.

[Chick McGee]

Jesus, of course, the big hero in yesterday's game, Mike, came up at the bottom of the ninth with the Braves down three to nothing, and he hit a base as empty grand slam. Fans, we haven't seen a miracle like that since we've had fishes and loaves. Was not. I had a chance to talk with the Savior after the game, and here's what he had to say. Well, Harry, the bar was on the

[Pat Godwin]

outside part of the plate. Now he's just trying to make contact. First of all, I want to thank my father for loading up the bases muchos Cr? Daddy and the Holy Ghost of. Breaking up the double play.

[Chick McGee]

Ladies and gentlemen,

[Jess Hooker]

back to the live action. Lazarus up to the plate now. What's that? Lazarus up to the plate now. Here's the pitch. Oh, no. He's hit. He's hurt. He's down. Holy cow, he's dead. But wait a minute. He gets back up. That's the sixth time this week that kid can take one for the team.

[Chick McGee]

Abraham up to the plate now. Probably up here to sacrifice. Sacrifice infield drawn in for the patriarch. And now there's some action in the Bethlehem bullpen. I can't quite make out the back of his row. It is the big number 10, Moses, just called up from the burning Bush league. That's Willie's favorite. Already gaining a reputation for the Latin fast pickoff move, reminding runners that Bam. Shout out, Steve. Let's give it back to Steve Stone.

[Mark Shalafu]

Thank you, Harry. Fans, you want to be here this Tuesday when the Braves meet the Cavalry Cubs. It's going to be Nabisco Communion Wafer day here at the ballpark. All fans 33 and under get a free Eucharist signed by the Savior himself. You know, fans, Nabisco Communion wafers go down smooth. Won't stick to the roof of your mouth like those cheap imitation sacraments. Sure, they cost a little bit more, but when it comes to your eternal salvation, isn't it worth that extra buck in the collection plate? Remember, fans, the next time you go to the rail for that body and blood, ask for the host with the most. Ask for Nabisco.

[Jess Hooker]

Thanks, Steve. Here's some scores now from around the league.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait, wait.

[Josh Arnold]

Who.

[Chick McGee]

Who did you just turn into?

[Jess Hooker]

He's been smoking While we're very, very inconsistent.

[Josh Arnold]

Let it go.

[Chick McGee]

A big.

[Jess Hooker]

A big upset. David won Goliath. Nothing ends a long win streak for the big guy. Oh, no. Job is on the 15th day disabled list with a bad case of leprosy. Pulled a hamstring. Pulled it right off.

[Chick McGee]

Well, the Angels have sent Lucifer down. That's a shame. When that fella was in his prime, he could really throw some heat this year. He's earned run average has ballooned to a hefty 6, 6, 6. And here's the partial score. Solomon Gamora still tied at 69. Hey, thank you very much, Mike. Lazarus. Lazarus.

[Tom Griswold]

Apologies to the great Dan St. Paul. Dan has a. Has a nice blog out there. Be sure to check it out. Thank you, Dan, for your cooperation. Now, we certainly appreciate it. Pastor Mike. Be careful going down the steps.

[Chick McGee]

You got it.

[Tom Griswold]

Thanks, guys.

[Willie G]

That Harry Perry was incredible.

[Chick McGee]

Very good. And you riffed a great joke. I think this whole panel is actually

[Willie G]

going to go to church this Sunday. That was incredible, dude.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Miracle.

[Mark Shalafu]

If more pastors were like Mike and had a sword cane. Yeah, we would.

[Tom Griswold]

Kelly. Kelly Colette, a former employee of the Cincinnati Reds. You actually, actually got to play the mascot. So what else is going on in your life? You've got a dog, I've got a dog. A boyfriend, apparently.

[Jess Hooker]

Killing the Harry Cary impressions. That was very fun. Also, who's Harry Carey? This is a fun thing that they told me about two minutes ago.

[Christy Lee]

You don't know who Harry Carey is?

[Jess Hooker]

I know who Will Ferrell is playing Harry Carrie. If the moon was made of cheese.

[Tom Griswold]

Harry was a famous baseball announcer. Concluded his career with many years with the Chicago Cubs and.

[Jess Hooker]

And Marty Brennaman. That's who I know.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I love Marty Brennaman. Hi, Marty.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Now we also have the return of Mark Shalafu. Family man.

[Mark Shalafu]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Father of three daughters.

[Mark Shalafu]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

What else is happening in your life?

[Mark Shalafu]

Well, I'm in town this weekend, so I got, I get to be a lot more hands on as a dad, which is nice. And my seventh grader, she is in honors math, which I was very proud of her for until I realized that it means that we are in honors math. Because she'll ask for help with homework now and she'll say stuff like, hey, how do we divide decimals? I'm like, we don't. We ask Chat GPT. That's all we do. Right. But what I do like, and maybe you feel this about age 13, but, but like, what I love most is she's at the age now where she complains about the homework. She'll always say this line. She's always like, oh, when am I ever gonna need this in real life? I'm like, probably at work. And she's like, really? Algebra? Like algebra? No. Doing unfulfilling work assigned to you by a person you don't like? Yeah, probably every day. Welcome to having a job.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, has your daughter gone on the, the annual trip? For example, when I was in that grade, we went to Washington D.C. and it was just really cool.

[Mark Shalafu]

She's going to D.C. next year.

[Tom Griswold]

What do I have to look forward

[Mark Shalafu]

to with the D.C. trip?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I, I bring it up because the day before yesterday my daughter Finn went on the trip to Chicago. And so I, when I saw her yesterday, said, so what was the highlight of the trip? She said, oh, the bus ride up, hanging with my Friends, like, not.

[Christy Lee]

That's what she got out of.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. What about. Didn't you go to the. Didn't you go to the. The famous aquarium up there?

[Christy Lee]

The Shed Aquarium?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they went to a museum, but nothing. It was just the bus trip and hanging out.

[Dave Dyer]

I know.

[Willie G]

She didn't even go to the dispensary for me, which I thought that was. I could have used a couple things. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

When you get older, being in the bus will not be your favorite thing.

[Jess Hooker]

No.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Mark Shalafu]

That's not the highlight of eighth grade. It shouldn't be just the biggest bus ride. You don't even have to go to Chicago.

[Christy Lee]

It depends on if you're in the back seat of the bus.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know if anybody experienced this. If you had a Washington trip at your school. I kid you not. I am not making this up. When we went to Washington, we went to the FBI building and the guy shot off a Tommy gun.

[Jess Hooker]

What?

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

It was un. I mean, I still remember it. This agent comes out and they've got a special target, and you're in this special room. Shot off at Tommy gun.

[Mark Shalafu]

Yeah, they don't love that in schools anymore.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, not real popular.

[Tom Griswold]

Very, very, very.

[Chick McGee]

This is the Bob and Tom Show. The Hammer alley podcast. An 80s flashback mockumentary.

[Tom Griswold]

Back in the 80s, there were a thousand bands trying to make it in the world of rock. But there was one, one band that had it all. Hammer Alley. Whatever happened to Hammer Alley?

[Chick McGee]

How did they go from top of the rock? I'm looking for a music video. They're a band from 1987, Hammer Alley. Ever heard of them? To rock bottom.

[Tom Griswold]

Dude, I was born in 1987.

[Joe Dombrowski]

Oh, I can't believe he's doing this.

[Chick McGee]

Hammer Alley.

[Christopher]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform.