The BOB & TOM Show - May 5, 2026

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast

Episode Summary: May 5, 2026

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Overview

This episode of The BOB & TOM Show combines fast-paced comedy, light banter, segments on odd news and sports, and a guest appearance by stand-up comedian Mike Kaplan. The show celebrates Cinco de Mayo with running gags, attempted musical numbers, and a variety of witty, offbeat conversations. Highlights include mailbag letters, playful debate about modern food obsessions, bizarre world records, shop class nostalgia, and the comedic dissection of viral news.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Celebrating Cinco de Mayo with Musical Mayhem

[01:52 – 06:11]

• The crew attempts a musical number for Cinco de Mayo ("C-I-N-C-O" song), which hilariously unravels due to the group’s inability to synchronize.
  • Memorable Quote:
    “This time cannot fail. I didn’t realize. There are five damn verses to this last movie.” – Bob Kevoian [05:34]
• The bit spirals into good-natured ribbing and references to old musicals and failed band attempts, setting the comedic tone.

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2. Classic BOB & TOM Banter & Character Interaction

[06:12 – 08:53]

• Christy Lee is teased about dating lingo (“You wanna ball?”) and generational slang.
• Banter about grandpa nicknames and “Pappy” jokes, leading into playful flirtation and the show’s irreverent tone.

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3. Office Goose Crisis

[08:24 – 09:19]

• The crew discusses a real-life “goose poop” issue on the office patio, joking about who has to clean it up.
  • Quote:
    “We need a snow shovel.” – Chick McGee [08:40]

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4. NBA & Sports Roundup with Comedy Detours

[09:55 – 13:08 | 47:09 – 56:12]

• Chick gives a comedic spin on latest NBA playoff results (Timberwolves over the Spurs; Victor Wembanyama’s triple double).
• Dives into TV nostalgia (“Then Came Bronson”), quirky athlete legacies, and collective ridicule of the Detroit Pistons' merchandise.
• Extended riff about ashtrays as nostalgic art-class staples, old school smoking lounges, and the changing times.
  • Quote:
    “I made a lovely sconce... it had a mirror even. And I made a birdhouse.” — Tom Griswold [58:49]

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5. Listener Mailbag – From Cattle Semen to “The Ick”

[18:31 – 29:56]

• Hilarious letters cover obscure topics:
  • The Griswold Cattle Company, specializing in expensive bull semen.
    • “If you want good times, it goes up from there. The high end of Good Times is $500,000.” – Chick McGee [20:14]
  • Relationship “ick” stories, notably a woman who reveals her love for her married boss during pillow talk.
  • Anecdotes about insurance drones photographing houses and insurance company nitpicks.

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6. Dedicated Request Segments

[29:56 – 32:39]

• Micro-request fulfilled: "Mr. F." audio bit replayed by demand.
• Listener crushes professed on-air, including messages from flight attendants laughing about “flight bitches” jokes.

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7. Comedic Take on Food, Diet Culture, & Trends

[90:12 – 95:15]

• Survey spoof: America’s obsessions with food, health, and contradictory trends.
• Pat Godwin debuts a humorous song about food fads ("Cause it’s good for you"), poking fun at ever-changing health advice.

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8. Viral & Bizarre News

• Perpetual Stew Goes Viral:
  [136:16 – 138:17]
  • A TikTok creator keeps a stew going for over a year, sparking debate on food safety and the gross-out factor.
    • “Perpetual stew sounds like a bad 80s sitcom.” – Chick McGee [138:21]
• World Record Mania:
  [67:01 – 72:26| 77:20 – 83:00]
  • A British strongman pulls a 2-ton car by his penis—while on fire. Crew debates possible techniques and health hazards.
  • “Is this a Guinness record?” – Bob Kevoian [11:44]
  • A Virginian breaks the 24-hour pull-up world record, prompting jokes about “push-ups” and childhood ice cream truck memories.

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9. Changes at McDonald’s & Societal Trends

[133:37 – 135:13]

• News that McDonald’s will phase out self-service soda fountains, sparking discussion about drive-thrus, “play places,” and fountain soda etiquette.
  • “You had a privilege. You blew it.” – Mike Kaplan [133:45]

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10. Guest Segment: Stand-Up Comedian Mike Kaplan

[101:04 – End]

• Mike Kaplan joins for a lengthy, sharp segment, riffing on his unusual spelling (MYQ), his Alphabet-based comedy hour, and the universal awkwardness of shop class crafts.
  • “I’ll just give you a brief foreshadowing… Y involves the word ‘you’ so I put my strongest joke there.” – Mike Kaplan [122:05]
• Shares stories from appearing on major late-night shows and recording numerous stand-up specials.
• Contributes clever, pun-driven asides throughout, fitting seamlessly into the show’s playful tone.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I have piston as trays. When I dribble, they do.” – Chick McGee, on Detroit Pistons merchandise [50:27]
• “Every night it’s a different chick... I put on a wig, cinch my dress real tight, and I’m a different lady. Every night.” – Pat Godwin, in a self-parody song about dating [43:14]
• “You know, Americans listening right now, commissioned by Poncho’s Cheese Dip...” – Christy Lee mock-trumpets a food trends survey [90:12]
• “Is it Missourian or Missouriite?” “Missourian.” “Have you heard of a town called Cooter?” – Chick & Tom riffing on place names [84:32]
• “Do you want to go acapella this time?” “Acapella…in the ghetto. Poor little baby.” – Multiple, riffing musical trainwrecks [04:47]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Cinco de Mayo musical chaos: 01:52 – 06:11
• Sports roundup: 09:55 – 13:08; 47:09 – 56:12
• Mailbag oddities (bull semen, “The Ick”): 18:31 – 29:56
• Ashtray/kiln nostalgia: 51:27 – 57:08
• Listener micro-requests & shoutouts: 29:56 – 32:39
• Food culture & Godwin’s food song: 90:12 – 95:15
• World records (pulling car with penis; pull-ups): 67:01 – 72:26; 77:20 – 83:00
• Mike Kaplan interview segments: 101:04 – End

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Flow & Tone

The episode delivers fast pivots between organized comedy, chaotic musical riffs, and spontaneous digressions. The crew maintains a loose, irreverent rapport, with good-natured jabs and running inside jokes. The spotlight on guest Mike Kaplan blends seamlessly into the group’s dynamic, yielding self-aware, wordplay-heavy humor. The episode is inviting, packed with both surface-level laughs and subtle, clever punchlines.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This Cinco de Mayo episode is a quintessential BOB & TOM blend: silly group musical bits gone sideways, lively news and sports discussions veering off into wild personal anecdotes, and a parade of strange headlines given the show’s signature comedic spin. Add in nostalgia for the days of school kilns and parental ashtrays, devoted listener mail full of curveballs, and a guest comic riffing the entire Alphabet, and you get a thoroughly entertaining mix—accessible even without hearing the broadcast.

Transcript

[Tom Griswold]

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[Mike Kaplan]

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[Tom Griswold]

starting at $179 like the next grill

[Chick McGee]

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[Tom Griswold]

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[Mike Kaplan]

Then set the scene with Hampton Bay

[Tom Griswold]

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[Mike Kaplan]

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[Tom Griswold]

Exclusions applies to yomedebo.com pricematch for details.

[Mike Kaplan]

I get so many headaches every month.

[Chick McGee]

It could be chronic migraine, 15 or more headache days a month, each lasting

[Mike Kaplan]

four hours or more. Botox Audubotulinum toxin a prevents headaches in

[Chick McGee]

adults with chronic migraine. It's not for Those who have 14

[Mike Kaplan]

or fewer headache days a month.

[Chick McGee]

Prescription Botox is injected by your doctor. Effects of Botox may spread hours to weeks after injection, causing serious symptoms. Alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems or muscle weakness can be signs of a life threatening condition.

[Mike Kaplan]

Patients with these conditions before injection are at highest risk. Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck and injection site pain, fatigue and headache.

[Chick McGee]

Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms and dizziness. Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions including als, Lou Gehrig's

[Mike Kaplan]

disease, Myasthenia gravis or Lambert Eaton syndrome and medications including botulinum toxins as these

[Chick McGee]

may increase the risk of serious side effects.

[Bob Kevoian]

Why wait?

[Chick McGee]

Ask your doctor, visit botoxchronicmigraine.com or call 1-844botox to learn more.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's the bob and tom show.

[Chick McGee]

There is a day I celebrate. It's called Cinco de Mayo C I

[Bob Kevoian]

N C oh, we got to be faster, don't we?

[Chick McGee]

It's working really well so far.

[Christy Lee]

We have to try that again.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay, let's try it again.

[Chick McGee]

I think the guy that started with the first C hung on a little.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, you hung on too long.

[Chick McGee]

That's a quarter note, Thelonious.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's not a habit. Egomaniac. I just, I didn't realize. Okay, we'll get it.

[Chick McGee]

We'll get it. This is going to be good.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh yeah, it's going to be great. It's already down. I thought, wow, is this a heck

[Chick McGee]

of a an idea. Here we go.

[Bob Kevoian]

There is a day I celebrate. It's called Cinco de Mayo C I

[Chick McGee]

N C O C I N C

[Bob Kevoian]

O C I N C Oklahoma where the Wind comes whistling down the plane Excuse me. That was fun. That was a little additional stuff. Well, first of all, I'm singing Kavanaugh. Kavanaugh took my end.

[Chick McGee]

I'm singing too many.

[Mike Kaplan]

Come on.

[Chick McGee]

I don't trust everybody.

[Bob Kevoian]

John is dead.

[Chick McGee]

That's my end.

[Bob Kevoian]

Damn it. I apologize.

[Chick McGee]

And I think I got.

[Bob Kevoian]

He got my se. Also, so I don't even know why I sur with the fringe on top. Thinking about a lot of discipline.

[Christy Lee]

Are we doing this again?

[Bob Kevoian]

That blank. The blank Zeus coming to mind right now? Remember some of the songs that didn't make it to Oklahoma? Shirley Jones, what a piece. Oh, boy.

[Tom Griswold]

They did that?

[Bob Kevoian]

That's actually in the movie. Yeah, it said the dv What a piece. Shirley Jones, what a piece. Nice and snug.

[Chick McGee]

Also, I think they have the.

[Bob Kevoian]

The more scotch. Gordon McCrae.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Bet on the ponies, Gordy.

[Mike Kaplan]

I'm sorry.

[Chick McGee]

I'm sorry.

[Bob Kevoian]

You don't need the song anymore.

[Mike Kaplan]

Sure, we do

[Bob Kevoian]

it this time. Nothing can go wrong this time. I'll try to behave myself. All right, here we go.

[Chick McGee]

There is a day I celebrate. It's called Cinco de Mayo.

[Bob Kevoian]

C I N, C O I, C O.

[Christy Lee]

Boy.

[Chick McGee]

See you.

[Bob Kevoian]

Cinco.

[Chick McGee]

Is try to get it right.

[Christy Lee]

I don't think you're not playing along.

[Bob Kevoian]

As long as we continue to go this way, I don't think we're ever

[Chick McGee]

gonna get through the song.

[Bob Kevoian]

God, if I have to keep this classic. What's your problem?

[Chick McGee]

Step up, bitch.

[Bob Kevoian]

Are you in my face? Are you in my face? All I'm saying is that I didn't see anywhere on there where it's like, oh, what Beautiful.

[Mike Kaplan]

All right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

On there.

[Tom Griswold]

All right.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'll do it right this time.

[Mike Kaplan]

I promise.

[Chick McGee]

I knew it was gonna be danger

[Mike Kaplan]

giving him the last letter.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, and.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, I gotta go. Oh, oh, oh.

[Chick McGee]

That's.

[Mike Kaplan]

That's all I have to do.

[Chick McGee]

That's all I have to do. Okay, try it. Acapella.

[Bob Kevoian]

Maybe we should try.

[Chick McGee]

Let's do an acapella one time in the ghetto. Poor little baby.

[Mike Kaplan]

So I'll do it right this time. Good.

[Chick McGee]

Acapella.

[Tom Griswold]

Acapel.

[Christy Lee]

Aren't we always the only two that's going to happen.

[Chick McGee]

I'll do it right, Chick.

[Bob Kevoian]

You promise to do it right? I promise, Bob.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I have. I've been doing this. He's been doing it absolutely perfectly.

[Bob Kevoian]

Second C. I have the toughest part

[Tom Griswold]

in the whole song.

[Bob Kevoian]

Someday you'll have the first C, but for now, you're a second C. I

[Chick McGee]

wanted to change the sitting so that Bob would get the O because I know I can trust him.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, you're wrong.

[Chick McGee]

Once again, Tim Cavanaugh and Unsync

[Mike Kaplan]

with

[Chick McGee]

the Cinco de Mayo treatment.

[Bob Kevoian]

Go ahead.

[Chick McGee]

Here we go. We're gonna try this again.

[Bob Kevoian]

So this.

[Chick McGee]

This time cannot fail. I didn't realize. There are five damn verses to this last movie. There are.

[Bob Kevoian]

This is gonna turn into Here we Go. There is a date I celebrate.

[Chick McGee]

It's called Cinco de Mayo. C I, N, C O C I N, C O C I, N, C. Me O. Cinco. Is it me?

[Bob Kevoian]

Touch me, heal me.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you, Tim Cavanaug.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hi.

[Christy Lee]

O.

[Bob Kevoian]

Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends. It's the Bob and Tom Show. That's exactly right. In the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee, rocking and rolling.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, baby.

[Bob Kevoian]

In the. Tom, heads up. Janice Joplin Tee.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

The long sleeve. Very nice.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you.

[Chick McGee]

Do you ever say to anybody, hey, want a ball?

[Christy Lee]

No, but I'll try that tonight, see how it goes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Have you. Have you ever. In your history of sexual encounters.

[Christy Lee]

No, I've never said those words. I'm a little young for that term.

[Mike Kaplan]

That's very.

[Chick McGee]

That's very. That came and went very quickly. Yeah. You want a ball?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

It's like early 70s, wasn't it?

[Chick McGee]

Late 60s, I think. Yeah. Sorry.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's Pat Godwin in his.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I like Pappy Godwin.

[Bob Kevoian]

Happy Godwin in this I need to change Baptist preacher outfit. That's not.

[Christy Lee]

If you have grandkids. Will you be Pappy?

[Pat Godwin]

Sure. I know. We all become Joe, Joe, Joe.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Grandpa Joe.

[Bob Kevoian]

Huh? I thought you were. I thought you were Grandpa Joe down at the.

[Pat Godwin]

I am. I think I've already become Grandpa Joe.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Situations.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Some girls like that, Tom. Really old. What to call him Grandpa.

[Christy Lee]

Girls like that Grandpa Joe.

[Bob Kevoian]

Some girls.

[Chick McGee]

What?

[Bob Kevoian]

Sure. Hi, Grandpa. You know, like the daddy thing, only right. Kick it up a notch.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I'll buy that, I guess, if it'll mean we can move forward.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Chick McGee]

Hello.

[Bob Kevoian]

And we're off. Yeah. So much for fun. There's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, Chick McGee. Well, no. We have a sporting News of interest. We begin with a little Timmy Kavanaugh. And he may have something to say about certain aspects of the NBA today.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'll play your part this year, Tom. What day is cinco de Mayo? May 5, is the answer because.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I see. Okay.

[Christy Lee]

Did you not hear the intro to this?

[Chick McGee]

I was. No, I was in my. Out in the parking lot.

[Christy Lee]

Tim Cavanaugh singing.

[Chick McGee]

I was in the parking lot doing something.

[Bob Kevoian]

We. Speaking of the parking lot.

[Pat Godwin]

Ranging the cars.

[Bob Kevoian]

Speaking of the parking lot, we have an issue with the patio. Have you guys noticed the patio?

[Christy Lee]

What's wrong with the patio?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, it's. It's everywhere.

[Chick McGee]

The geese apparently settled on the patio.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. They had a party.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. And they got loose.

[Tom Griswold]

They did.

[Bob Kevoian]

What the hell?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

We need a snow shovel.

[Bob Kevoian]

We need something.

[Tom Griswold]

I saw the person who I. I think is on the payroll to take care of such issues.

[Bob Kevoian]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Wandering around the building a lot yesterday.

[Bob Kevoian]

Some may say lurking, but. And the goose poop remains.

[Chick McGee]

I'll go look for a shovel during the break.

[Bob Kevoian]

Are you gonna clean it up?

[Chick McGee]

Someone's gonna start tracking that through the building. It's disgusting. The geese never typically come up here. I don't know what's going on.

[Christy Lee]

Well, they want to get out of the rain.

[Bob Kevoian]

They're more scared of. They're more scared of us than we are.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that how that works, you know, with geese? I don't think it is.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Even if they say it is. I don't think so.

[Bob Kevoian]

They are a confrontational bun.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, man. They'll let you know. They don't care for you being there, those geese.

[Bob Kevoian]

Would you have a. Would you have a pet bird, Tom?

[Ace Cosby]

No.

[Chick McGee]

I know people that do. They enjoy them very much.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

So anyway, Taco Tuesday has a new meaning today because it is Cinco de Mayo. Okay,

[Chick McGee]

I'm sorry. So what? I mean.

[Christy Lee]

Okay, well.

[Chick McGee]

So what? I'm just getting organized. I just was handed a bunch of papers the last second. I'm sorry. Things are askew over here.

[Bob Kevoian]

NBA action last night. Minnesota Timberwolves take game one from Vicki Vicky Wem.

[Chick McGee]

Wem.

[Bob Kevoian]

And the Sandy San Antonio Spurs. 104, 102. Wembanyama had seven blocks in the first half, ended up with 12 for the game. He's the third player to get a triple double in the playoffs, including blocks since the league started. Tracking block shots at 73, 74. And Jalen Brunson, 27 of his 35.

[Chick McGee]

Recognize this Christie.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now he'll cooperate.

[Chick McGee]

This is the theme to the TV show. Then came Brunson.

[Christy Lee]

Never saw that great. Who starred in that show on Michael Parks.

[Chick McGee]

It's about. It was a knockoff on Easy Rider.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's a rambling music, isn't it?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, it's great stuff.

[Christy Lee]

Was he rambling guy?

[Bob Kevoian]

He was, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

He was driving across country, got into Harley and the. The actor who actually was A big. Quentin Tarantino was a big fan of the show.

[Bob Kevoian]

Then came Bronson, and that's how Michael Parks ends up in all of his movies. Kind of, sort of.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Which is a nice touch. But Michael has since left, Sadly.

[Bob Kevoian]

Next win,137.98. Cleveland at Detroit and the Lakers at Oklahoma City tonight. Game ones of those series. And it's already been announced Luka Doncic will not play for the Lakers Stanley cup last night. Carolina and Vegas win, and we've got a man putting his penis to work.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Bob Kevoian]

In world records.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And it's a. It's two. Two things that are bizarre at the same time.

[Tom Griswold]

Is he pulling anything?

[Chick McGee]

Yes. Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Not. And it's not a train.

[Tom Griswold]

And Guinness said.

[Jeff Oskay]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Is this a Guinness record?

[Bob Kevoian]

I merely glanced at it. Is this.

[Tom Griswold]

If it's not a Guinness World Record, I don't think it counts.

[Chick McGee]

Then.

[Tom Griswold]

Are they the only record people?

[Bob Kevoian]

I apologize. It's simply. It's simply billed as an astounding feat.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Stupid astounding feat.

[Christy Lee]

But it was a strongman competition, so that we have.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, but there's an unusual aspect.

[Bob Kevoian]

We have an astounding feat, and we also have a world record.

[Christy Lee]

Good.

[Chick McGee]

I mean, not that pulling any object with some tied to one's male member isn't unusual.

[Bob Kevoian]

I would not do that.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, but. But he added another ridiculous aspect. Challenge to it. You'll be. You'll be disappointed in humanity. Yes. Yeah. I mean, it's. It's amazing and incredibly stupid. We have a version of Constant Stew in the news.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no. I. I hope nobody's doing that.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, well, you'd be wrong.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is that the one where you start out with rocks and then.

[Chick McGee]

No. Constant Stew was, remember from history class, Homaine poisoning? Well, yeah. The problem would be you have to keep it above a certain temperature. I think it's 140 degrees Fahrenheit. In other words, they would. They would have a pot on the fire and they would come in and throw meat in it over the course of time. But if it ever got. The meat could rot.

[Tom Griswold]

It was like, oh, hey, look, we found two carrots outside. Well, throw those in the Constant Stew. And then you'd have carrots for a couple days.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, it's just.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. It's creepy.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

But just asking for it at that point.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, well, there's. It's back. And you can. Yes, I was gonna say. Yeah. You can blame the. Blame the Internet like you can on almost everything else. Also coming up, changes at McDonald's not getting rid of the fish sandwich, I hope.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, I saw these changes, big changes. I'm pro.

[Bob Kevoian]

You like the change?

[Christy Lee]

I am pro as well.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. And it's been going on for a

[Christy Lee]

while, but I don't like the old way.

[Chick McGee]

There's a huge backlash. Also, a bizarre story about. I mean, one of the. Some of. Sometimes these stories, you go, who wanted this? It involves beer and sunscreen together.

[Tom Griswold]

Finally.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. At last.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, do you spill your beer on your face? Well.

[Chick McGee]

Well, there's a little more to it than that, but we'll.

[Bob Kevoian]

This is a pale ale and a sunscreen.

[Chick McGee]

It's both gory details.

[Tom Griswold]

And we have a. We have a joke that was sent in by a listener that I find to be astoundingly funny. And we will get to that when it's a letter.

[Chick McGee]

Can we come right back with it?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. And it has to do with.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. And we have a request for Patty G and more. We'll get to our mailbag in just a second. Right now, everybody's talking about, what are the GLP1s? The Dietary Program in which you stab yourself with a. With a needle and shoot up. That may not be for you. That's where Brick House Nutrition is stepping in. If you're not interested in. In giving yourself shots, I guess some of them you just would stab yourself with a. What is it, like an EpiPen?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, yeah, kind of. That's what it looks like.

[Chick McGee]

This is different. This is created by Brickhouse Nutrition. It's a weight loss supplement called Lean Lean. And the results for some are remarkable. Now check this out. Physicians put this together. It's designed to lower your blood sugar and burn fat by converting it into energy and curb your appetite and curb your cravings so you're not as hungry. And Lean is not designed for the casual dieter with a pound or two to lose. It's designed for those that want to lose more than 10 pounds. And you can get started right now with 20% off and free rush shipping. So check this out from Brickhouse Nutrition. It's called Lean L E A n. Just visit takelean.com Enter the code Tom to get that discount. The promo code is tomake. You can do this right now, by the way. Once again, it's T A K E Take Lean L e a n takelean.com Enter the code TOM. Weight loss results are going to vary, of course. These products and statements have not been evaluated by the fda. And these products are not intended to diagnose, treat or cure or prevent any disease or any other condition. Take lean.com. the code word is Tom. Coming up. This is really interesting. You go online now and you have to prove how old you are. There's an unusual hack that has been created for this. When you hear this, you're going to go, are we that stupid? Has our culture become dumber than ever? Well, yep, is the answer. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. I don't know about you, but I like keeping my money where I can see it. Unfortunately, traditional big wireless carriers also seem to like keeping my money too. After years of overpaying for wireless, I finally got fed up with crazy high wireless bills, bogus fees and so called free perks that actually cost more in the long run. And I switched to Mint Mobile and now I'm only paying a fraction of what I used to pay Mint Mobile. Works for me. It'll work for you too.

[Christy Lee]

Ditch overpriced wireless and get three months of premium wireless service from Mint Mobile for 15 bucks a month. All plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network.

[Tom Griswold]

Bring your own phone and number, activate with EIM in minutes and start saving immediately. No long term contracts, no hassle. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with premium wireless plans starting at 15 bucks a month.

[Bob Kevoian]

If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop [e-mail] Bob and Tom that's mintmobile.com Bob and Tom upfront payment of $45 for a 3 month 5 gigabyte plan required equivalent to dollar month new customer offer for just 3 months only. Then full price plan options available. Taxes and amp fees extra. See mintmobile.com Back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Bob Kevoian]

She's at the news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Happy to be here.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hello, Chick.

[Bob Kevoian]

He's at the music desk. Hello. There's Josh Arnold Scher. Hey man. He's at the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom. It's time for letters from our listeners emails. As you were.

[Chick McGee]

I got an unusual starter here.

[Bob Kevoian]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

We are in the wrong business. Oh yeah, this is a. A nice, a nice letter informing us of a a business called the Griswold cattle brand.

[Bob Kevoian]

It Is actually called Griswold cattle Company.

[Chick McGee]

And it's funny because I received an email earlier this week about the Griswold cookware company. The cast iron.

[Bob Kevoian]

Those are wonderful.

[Tom Griswold]

They also make brands.

[Chick McGee]

They're collectible.

[Bob Kevoian]

I have a Dutch oven of that.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. It's all cast iron pans and Dutch ovens and stuff. Yeah. And they stopped making the stuff quite a while ago, but it's collectible. This Griswold cattle Company, it specializes in semen. And I'm not kidding. Here's the motto.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, shoot. When you said brand, I thought.

[Christy Lee]

You thought, yeah, right.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

No, that's okay.

[Chick McGee]

You should have. I misspoke. It says, give the gift of love Dash semen, and it has photographs of various beautiful black cattle. I'm not sure what breed this is. There's also. Just look at this chick. There's also some that are the color of golden retrievers.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes. Like golden harvest or something.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. One's called golden rule Greater good.

[Christy Lee]

Can anybody buy semen?

[Chick McGee]

Like, well, depends how much money you've got, for example.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. It wouldn't be a whim.

[Chick McGee]

If you'd like some semen of the, the bull known as off the record, it's going to cost you between 40 and $300,000.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Mike Kaplan]

Huh?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. A Belmont is 40 to 250,000.

[Jeff Oskay]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

And it gets. If you want good times, it goes up from there. The high end of good times is $500,000.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. It's got to be good stock. And now what?

[Chick McGee]

Getting it for 500,000, you get to get it yourself.

[Tom Griswold]

I think that's why you pay the 500.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I see.

[Bob Kevoian]

The gentleman who sent that in said the most difficult part of collecting the semen is making the back of a pickup truck look desirable to a bull.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And he, the bull goes up and does his business, and they collect it

[Chick McGee]

in a container and they have what, like a great big plastic bowl Butt.

[Bob Kevoian]

I, I, I guess.

[Tom Griswold]

Amazing.

[Bob Kevoian]

And haven't you tried that? Josh, you tell. This is a symbol of my love.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Have her collect my semen. Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

You clearly don't care about me.

[Bob Kevoian]

Absolutely. If you loved me, you would.

[Tom Griswold]

And sometimes they're scoffing, Sometimes there are tears.

[Chick McGee]

They're mixed.

[Tom Griswold]

Mixed results.

[Christy Lee]

I think it would be a cow butt, not a bull butt. That's a whole different thing.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm again, I'm just looking. I'm looking at this for the first time.

[Pat Godwin]

These are different.

[Christy Lee]

There are bulls who are attracted to Other bulls.

[Bob Kevoian]

Bull love is full Love. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Whatever it takes to get that semen.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's right.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, hope you were goggles.

[Bob Kevoian]

It looked. Wouldn't it make sense. More sense to like have some sort of electronic. Electronic stimulus?

[Chick McGee]

I don't.

[Christy Lee]

I mean, what they do.

[Tom Griswold]

I bet they've tried everything and they just. This is the best.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Again, thanks for the letter. That is. It's. I wonder if they're related, these folks. Yeah. Well. Or to me.

[Bob Kevoian]

You think you're in the. In the line of. I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

But these are animals.

[Bob Kevoian]

Reading of the will.

[Chick McGee]

They're beautiful animals. But that is a lot of money to pay for semen.

[Christy Lee]

Wow.

[Bob Kevoian]

Can you imagine your payouts?

[Tom Griswold]

Tom, you mentioned that your life insurance doesn't allow certain activities, which makes sense.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. You can't. I can't. I can't scuba dive. I can't parachute jump. I can't fly in an airplane that doesn't have two pilots. Professionally licensed.

[Tom Griswold]

But your policy does allow you to snow ski.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Carrie would like to know, does that make your policy pro bono?

[Chick McGee]

A Sonny Bodo joke.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wow.

[Christy Lee]

Very nice.

[Chick McGee]

Well, thank you very much.

[Tom Griswold]

I was overjoyed when I heard that.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is it true that he was playing football when he got hurt?

[Chick McGee]

No, that was the one. That was one of the Kennedys.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Bob Kevoian]

One of the Kennedys hit their head?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Threw the ball a long way out of the tree.

[Chick McGee]

Excellent skier, that family. They've been skiing forever, but he screwing around.

[Tom Griswold]

Verse of Camelot, huh?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. What is it with the Kennedys in their heads. Right.

[Christy Lee]

Of the father.

[Chick McGee]

That leads to this letter. We were talking about insurance and parachute jumping and your interest in perhaps doing a parachute jump, Josh.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

This is. You mentioned, Tom, that insurance companies are using drones to check on houses. Yeah. A friend of mine was told to get a new roof on part of his house, and his insurance company found out had had a drone go over the house and rats.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I was talking to a guy that does this. He said they're looking for things like trampolines, hot tubs that aren't registered, pools, et cetera, et cetera. But this. This guy lives in Colorado and he goes in the mountains. There are dangers of wildfires. Of course, there are a lot of regulations. I received a large load of wood for our fireplace. I stacked it along the fence line. A week later, I received a letter from my insurance company with a photo of the wood pile stating that if it wasn't moved to at least 30ft from all structures, they would cancel my insurance.

[Christy Lee]

Whoa.

[Chick McGee]

So yeah, they're out there looking. I get it. I understand.

[Bob Kevoian]

But their business, they're trying to.

[Chick McGee]

And coming up we have, I guess I would call it drone backlash in the news. Not everyone wants to look up and see a drone flying around their backyard.

[Tom Griswold]

Get used to it.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm almost certain the shots they're getting in the NBA playoffs, they look like drones. I mean, I know they have the cords and the cameras and the 2, 3 fixed points or whatever it is, but these look like drone shots to me.

[Chick McGee]

And the Olympics.

[Bob Kevoian]

And the Olympics.

[Chick McGee]

Technology is amazing. But the best part of this letter, this comes first from. From Sherry, by the way.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi, Sherry.

[Chick McGee]

Sherry said, what would you call a group like you guys of radio talk show hosts? Oh, the collective noun. She suggests a yap.

[Christy Lee]

I like that.

[Tom Griswold]

Pretty good.

[Chick McGee]

Sherry, that's excellent. Thank you very. Thank you very much. Back to you, Chick.

[Bob Kevoian]

Dear Bob, at Top Show, I am stoked for the potential cast viewing of Silence of the Lambs when it's reissued sometime this.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, they're gonna bring it back to movie theaters.

[Bob Kevoian]

Josh, you said you've never seen it in the theater?

[Tom Griswold]

No, never saw it on the big screen.

[Bob Kevoian]

Very exciting.

[Chick McGee]

It's a brilliant movie.

[Tom Griswold]

It is great.

[Bob Kevoian]

This is John from Iowa. He said please let us know how the viewing goes. Pretty sure Tom will be terrified.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I've seen it before. Several times.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And it. We were talking about it because it's. I believe it's the 35th anniversary of the movie.

[Christy Lee]

You're right.

[Chick McGee]

And they're re releasing it. They're also re releasing Star wars, the original three with the original cut without the added CGI in theaters again. So that. That'll be. Also be interesting.

[Bob Kevoian]

Remember the last time we went. Well, not the last time, but one of the times we went as a group, they gave us a big garbage bag full of popcorn. It was really cool.

[Tom Griswold]

Nice.

[Christy Lee]

Like huge.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. And then we sat it between us. We were just.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Munching along. It was great.

[Chick McGee]

But the movie Silence Lambs does feature a scene with the. The so called move known as the vagabond. A man does some tucking. Is it poses?

[Bob Kevoian]

I didn't know it had a name. Yeah, I thought it was the tuck maybe, but I've never heard the vag that.

[Chick McGee]

That's what I was told.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, all right.

[Tom Griswold]

Could be regional.

[Chick McGee]

But I think your point was every boy has tried this at some point.

[Tom Griswold]

I think so, yeah. Yeah. Maybe you affect a voice, maybe you don't.

[Bob Kevoian]

If you're having a kind of a down day and want to cheer up. Go online and search for entertainers who dress up as women. And their names, it's. It's really worth your time.

[Tom Griswold]

Like drag queens. Like, if you. And they're. They're fake names. They can be some of the funniest names.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, they are terrific.

[Tom Griswold]

Really clever.

[Bob Kevoian]

Just wonderful.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

This is another letter about the ick. Christy, can you explain this again? It's not the fish disease.

[Christy Lee]

No, this is when you are in a relationship and the other person does something that we call the ick fact. You go, ick, I'm done. I'm out.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. From a Bowling Green, Kentucky, Eric writes, dear Bob and Tom show, I have an X story for you. It was after my first divorce. I went into the apps, met a very attractive woman who wanted to meet me for drinks. We had drinks. We ate dinner, ended up in a motel room for some post dinner activity.

[Bob Kevoian]

Whoa. All right.

[Chick McGee]

Then came the pillow talk. She led with, this is fun, and we can keep doing this, but you can't fall in love with me. I said, okay, that sounds good to me, but can I ask why? She said, we can't fall in love because I'm in love with my boss, but since he's married, we can't be together. So we can keep hooking up, but his wife is very sick and is not expected to live much longer. When she's dead, my boss and I will get to be together. I looked at my phone, said I had to leave. I left, deleted her number, and changed my number the next day. P.S. my second marriage is doing much better than, oh, good, thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

But that's on you. That's on him. When a woman says, don't fall in love with me, you don't say, well, why not?

[Christy Lee]

You just go, okay. Right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Right.

[Tom Griswold]

In fact, I would say something like, well, you're the one who's fallen in love with me. And then it's a playful deal.

[Bob Kevoian]

You don't feel.

[Tom Griswold]

You learn no awful, awful truths.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. What is the. Drew Hastings says his love might last all the way to the elevator at the hotel.

[Bob Kevoian]

All the way to the elevator.

[Christy Lee]

And there is. There's a possibility that you could come back from the ick factor. That does happen. It does.

[Tom Griswold]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

Well, by the way, speaking of Drew Hastings, we're going to be talking to him in a couple weeks. Drew's book is now available as an audiobook. Give you some details on that. But he. He finished his book quite a few years ago, but Is now available as an audio book.

[Pat Godwin]

Chapter one.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I can't wait. Yeah. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

At last available to the English speaking world.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. We'll get. We'll be talking to Drew. As I said, coming up.

[Bob Kevoian]

Dear Bob, a top show last night. This is Robin from southeast Kentucky. Last night, as my lovely wife was struggling to get to sleep, she said, I must be a night owl. I replied, who?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, well done.

[Pat Godwin]

He left.

[Bob Kevoian]

I replied, who? Dot, dot, dot. Get it? No reply from the dark. Do you think? I instantly put her to sleep. Thank you for all the years of laughter and entertainment. You guys are wonderful. Well, thank you, Rob.

[Tom Griswold]

You did the right thing.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yep. You did the exact right thing.

[Chick McGee]

Time for a mini request, if not a micro request. I think this comes to us from Justin. He goes. I don't know if this will reach you guys, but I wanted to say I love your show. I appreciate you coming on early in the morning. It helps me get through the first part of the day.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, we're up. Anyway, we appreciate you.

[Chick McGee]

And he would like to hear this again. This is a micro request. It's less than four seconds. Oh, but your wish is our command, ladies and gentlemen, as requested by Justin.

[Mike Kaplan]

Mr. F.

[Chick McGee]

That's the short version of the.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm sorry, can we play that again? My eyes only started to bleed. Man, you were playing that.

[Mike Kaplan]

Mr. F. There you go,

[Chick McGee]

the Tommy award winning Mike Mark on the.

[Bob Kevoian]

You know if there's anything called for the he. There was that. Yeah, absolutely.

[Chick McGee]

We love getting your requests.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hear from you. Dear Bob, a top show. Oh, you have a cruise. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Well, this is a love letter for Josh.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, my goodness.

[Christy Lee]

She first says, hey, everyone dropped. She wanted to drop in and say she loves you, but she has a major update. Josh, officially, you are my new celebrity crush.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, what happened?

[Christy Lee]

I was looking for someone new to obsess over and I decided it might as well be you.

[Jeff Oskay]

Why not?

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, if that doesn't sound like love, I'll kiss your ass.

[Chick McGee]

Why did she find out Jeffrey Epstein's dead?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know. Watching him. Hope you're all having.

[Chick McGee]

I'm really tired of hearing about him.

[Christy Lee]

By the way, you brought him a sore week.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, how does that. How does that keep happening? Damn, boy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, my God.

[Christy Lee]

She's sending love from Clearfield, Pennsylvania.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Know where that is?

[Chick McGee]

Sure.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you. Jen.

[Tom Griswold]

Jen. All right, well, I'm honored, Jen. Thank you.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, you should tell her start out right from the. She can't fall in love, right, Jen?

[Tom Griswold]

Don't fall in love with me.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Just don't.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay, you can hook up.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm in, I'm in love with, with, with my sister in law. It's a lot of drama.

[Bob Kevoian]

I would have picked something more jokey, but. Oh, that's thereby the top show. This is also about Josh. I am a flight attendant for a well known United States airline. I was listening last week on the way to the airport. I couldn't stop laughing when Josh called us flight attendants flight bitches.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I said they don't like to be called stewardesses. They prefer flight bitches.

[Bob Kevoian]

I couldn't stop laughing and made my captain, who I was on the way to the airport with, give me a very weird look because I was doubling over laughing so hard. Thank you for always making my morning van rides. Amazing, Tom. Congrats on getting hitched. Thank you, Josh. You are my favorite. Oh, well, that is Brett from Kalamazoo, Michigan.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you're welcome, Brett. I got a girl that's somebody who

[Bob Kevoian]

gets it in Kalamazoo.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I'm sure there were an equal number that didn't that were offended.

[Tom Griswold]

But luckily we no longer have a producer that sends me those emails.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, thank you, Brett. We certainly appreciate it. Now let's get a song out of Mr. Godwin in just a few minutes. Coming up in the news, we have what, Christy Lee?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, well, we have a guy trying to baptize an alligator. I don't know if it worked, but we'll find out. McDonald's getting rid of something that's kind of special and beer and sunscreen. How do those go together? Well, we'll talk about that. That.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. And a guy that seriously whips it out. Oh, yeah, yeah, sir. I mean, it's, it's, it's very serious. We'll find out what he does. Yes, we'll find out what he does and why. But right now, speaking of things serious,

[Bob Kevoian]

isn't it time to take your secure your security system seriously? That's right. That's where simply safe comes right through the door. Simply safe. Comprehensive protection with sensors, cameras, 24. 7 monitoring. But on your terms, easily customize the system. That's right for your [e-mail] with app guided setup. No drilling required. You don't have to wait for that technician appointment between the hours of 4 and 6. It's not just a camera. It's a comprehensive ecosystem of sensors, cameras for inside and out and 24. 7 professional monitoring. And in the event of a break in fire or flood SimpliSafes agents ready to take action. And you won't find long term contracts with SimpliSafe. No lock ins or hidden cancellation fees. SimpliSafe. Here's something. Earns your business by keeping you safe, not by trapping you in a contract. 24. 7 monitoring for a fraction of what the traditional brands charge. And Newsweek has called SimpliSafe America's best customer service. You can experience the same peace of mind we all do here at the Bob and Tom studios and I do at my compound. We partnered with SimpliSafe. An exclusive discount for Bob and Tom show listeners right now. Get 50% off your new SimpliSafe system. All you have to do is visit simplisafetom.com that's half [e-mail] There is no safe like SimpliSafe.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you very much. If you want to send us a letter, we would love to hear from you. It's very simple. Just go to bob and tomobandtom.com and speaking of our website, it's really looking great. We did a whole remake remodel on it and same for the app. And we've got a bunch of cool stuff on the VIP service. I urge you to check out all those by visiting bobandtom.com these are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Ace Cosby]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Catch any part of the show you missed. Later Today on our YouTube channel,

[Mike Kaplan]

the

[Chick McGee]

United States Soccer Federation presents the U.S. soccer Podcast. My name is David Goss and I'm joined by my co host Megan Kleinenberg.

[Christy Lee]

And now we're giving people an inside look at the World Cup. Time's ticking.

[Chick McGee]

I think you can feel the intensity.

[Bob Kevoian]

All the guys are wanting to really

[Chick McGee]

stake their claim and they want to be on that World cup roster. There's no doubt about it. Hosting the World cup on home soil

[Jeff Oskay]

comes with its pressures.

[Chick McGee]

But we're just really excited just as the people are.

[Christy Lee]

The US Soccer podcast presented by Henkel. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Top Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. At the news desk, it's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hi. There's Pat Godwin.

[Chick McGee]

Hello.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hello. There's Josh Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, man. He's the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby.

[Chick McGee]

Howdy.

[Bob Kevoian]

Howdy do. I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, Chick McGee. We've been working on a special project here at the Bomb and Tom show.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And this is a little bit inside radio, so I'll have to do a little bit of an explanation. Most of the stuff around here, when you hear various music, etc. Etc. It's now in digital form on a computer somewhere. So if we want to play a song, we can dig it up and it's. It's right there in the computer. But there was a time when we actually played vinyl records and various tapes. And a lot of the tapes were on these things called carts, which were. And we still, by the way, still have hundreds of them lying around the building.

[Bob Kevoian]

And the easiest way to explain that is it looks like an eight track tape, but it's not.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah. It looks like the old fashioned cartridge. Cartridge. Eddie has been working on fixing up one of the old carton machines and he is going to install it over here.

[Bob Kevoian]

This is exciting.

[Chick McGee]

And we're going to do a day where we go through all these old.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, boy.

[Bob Kevoian]

There are a bunch of these cartridges back in the production studio where we do liners for other stations. And I spend half my morning sometime looking through the titles of those. Yeah, there's some reminiscent.

[Tom Griswold]

Even those are amusing.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, very obscure stuff. So you can look forward to that. Coming up a little bit down the road, we'll grab some obscure stuff. This is not that old. But I do have an odd request here. Someone would like to hear the. We haven't been playing the sports intro.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, no. We just get to it, right?

[Chick McGee]

Well, yeah, we don't have to do it right now, but I. I've been looking around and I think.

[Bob Kevoian]

No, no, God forbid. I won't mistake this for starting sports. It's okay, Tom. Don't. Don't you worry.

[Chick McGee]

Well, I could play it if you'll

[Bob Kevoian]

be short and abbreviated to the point.

[Chick McGee]

Well, here it is. It.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, this is what you farted for, Chick McGee. This is what you farted for.

[Christy Lee]

That's Finn, right?

[Bob Kevoian]

That's very cute.

[Chick McGee]

That's my daughter.

[Pat Godwin]

Was that a mistake or did you ever do that?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Pat Godwin]

That's so cool.

[Chick McGee]

That was a mistake. But she thinks.

[Bob Kevoian]

She's. Thinks she's funny. Is that it?

[Chick McGee]

That's a request from Daniel. Daniel. You're welcome. No, she was. I'm not sure what she was supposed

[Tom Griswold]

to be saying, but this is what we're fighting for.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I see. Yeah, but it's not time for sports yet. I just.

[Bob Kevoian]

I got it, Daniel.

[Christy Lee]

But you know, she said fart and giggled, so, you know.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, we had to keep it, so. Thank You, Daniel, for reminding me. But I was able to dig it up and it reminded me of the fact that we're going to be digging up a lot of really old stuff.

[Bob Kevoian]

What's the climate at your house for curse words among the children?

[Chick McGee]

Not particularly. We don't particularly care for. Oh, there's a current. There's a current song that they're singing that has the S word prominently.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, really?

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Is that still. Can't say that on broadcast television or whatever.

[Chick McGee]

It's interesting.

[Christy Lee]

Stupid. Is it?

[Chick McGee]

It's. No, no.

[Tom Griswold]

Some. That's some.

[Chick McGee]

Keep going. The. The traditional four letter S word. And it's funny you'd ask because it's a hit song and I heard it yesterday on, on the radio and they. There is an alternate. There's an alternate version of it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Ish.

[Chick McGee]

The Macho Tish.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

John Mellencamp. Yeah, that's something we may be able to dig up. We famously, in the song Play Guitar, John Mellencap has the great line, forget about all that macho. And that was again, back in the days of tape.

[Bob Kevoian]

Learn how to play guitar.

[Chick McGee]

So what we did was we took the, the, the. The tape and where that word comes up, you take a wax pencil and you mark it. And we took the tape and reversed it so it said. It sounded like he was saying, forget about all that macho tish and learn how to play guitar.

[Bob Kevoian]

Those were the days.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, weren't they?

[Chick McGee]

But yeah, there's a couple. There are a couple that squeeze by. I won't say necessarily who. Yeah, the whole. Who are you? That may or may not make it across the airwaves. There are a handful that are. I mean, also they're politically correct. There's a politically correct, if you will, version of a famous Dire Straits song. Yeah. Money for Nothing. They've changed that one over the course of time. But we will. We'll dig up a little bit of the Macho Tish for you. But right now we get back to the mailbag. What have you got?

[Bob Kevoian]

Dear Boba, Top show. Please, Tom, tell me you at least let your kids paint the doghouse.

[Tom Griswold]

No, the kids don't want to.

[Chick McGee]

They don't want to paint it.

[Bob Kevoian]

They don't want to paint it.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, well, this is from Mick in Detroit.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, they want to paint it. My 10 year old built a doghouse and it's currently still inside.

[Bob Kevoian]

Excellent.

[Chick McGee]

There, there's a nice photograph.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now you can tell that's a doghouse because.

[Chick McGee]

And they insisted on getting the lettering right. That so it says doghouse on it

[Bob Kevoian]

so the dogs know and that will fit your All. All your current dogs are just the little guy.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, you can't really tell. Big. It's two feet by four feet. Okay, by two feet.

[Christy Lee]

They've lost interest, haven't they?

[Chick McGee]

They can. They can fit in. No, no. It goes outside when they want to go outside, then they put it back in.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, do the dogs go in it when they go outside?

[Chick McGee]

Don't go in it. If you throw a. Throw a nice chunk of dried liver

[Christy Lee]

dog bed in there and. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, they do all that.

[Christy Lee]

A.

[Chick McGee]

They outfit it with the bowl.

[Tom Griswold]

The bed.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's Josh. Do you have.

[Tom Griswold]

Take care of the pups?

[Chick McGee]

What.

[Bob Kevoian]

What are the. For cat. Is it cat dominium or what is it the.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I have a couple towers. Yeah, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

The climbing for cat towers.

[Tom Griswold]

And then I have kind of a cat wall where they can. It has all these. I put up all these jutting boards and they can jump a catwalk. There's a. Not a catwalk yet because everywhere they go becomes a catwalk. Sure. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do you find yourself too sexy for the catwalk?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, at first I was too sexy for my hat.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Then, right.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah. Sexy for your shirt.

[Bob Kevoian]

What a great song.

[Tom Griswold]

I love that.

[Bob Kevoian]

Love it.

[Ace Cosby]

Kooky song.

[Tom Griswold]

Fred was indeed. Right. Said.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes, indeed. And he was sexy.

[Chick McGee]

No. Pat, do you have a song for us?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. What would you like to hear?

[Chick McGee]

I'm Too Sexy for My Face.

[Christy Lee]

Do you have a song like that?

[Pat Godwin]

That. No.

[Christy Lee]

You don't have a sexy song?

[Pat Godwin]

I have a song about. Well, my.

[Tom Griswold]

How.

[Pat Godwin]

What I do at night when I want to be sexy.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Put me on the spot, though.

[Chick McGee]

What do you do when you want to be sexy? I'd like to hear this.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, I mean.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, you take. You take off.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm a guy who goes.

[Chick McGee]

I like to date around.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do you?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

You know that about me?

[Bob Kevoian]

Variety grabs the guitar. Spice of life.

[Pat Godwin]

Every night. You know, Christy, it's a different late day Every night it's a different chick every night and the morning maybe. Who is it tonight, darling? Take your pick. Every night a different woman I'm having me such a mighty good time My friends wonder what the hell I'm doing I tell them variety is the spice of life oh, so many girls I forget one night so blonde next to brunette I put on a wig cinch my dress real tight and I'm a different lady who are here and now every night oh, I'm a different lady

[Christy Lee]

Kind of ties into the whole morning.

[Chick McGee]

You probably enjoyed last evening. The red carpet.

[Christy Lee]

No, no. Dave's Jump the Shark. Met Gala.

[Chick McGee]

The Met Gala. You didn't watch the red carpet last night?

[Bob Kevoian]

Fat Bunny dressed up like an old guy with a cane. I guess that came across my timeline for some reason, huh?

[Chick McGee]

Okay, well, it's always fun.

[Christy Lee]

It was very interesting. Very. They sold out, so to speak, with all billionaires and very few A listers and a lot of influencers.

[Chick McGee]

Cher was there, I understand. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

I did not see.

[Chick McGee]

She looks great for 80. Yeah, she's 80.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. 80 share.

[Bob Kevoian]

I bet she. She's very carefully put together.

[Chick McGee]

Well, but she's nice. She is funny and a very good actress. And very funny. Now, coming up, we will dip into the sporting scene.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

We have some NBA action, of course, so hockey action for Josh. And we do have someone using his male member for a very unusual thing and then adding to that, something even more insane. Plus a great hack. If you have to prove you're of a certain age to use certain websites, et cetera, et cetera, and certain apps, there's a new hack for proving that you are or at least demonstrating that you're old enough to be doing it. Plus, we have beer meets sunscreen in the news and a Domino's driver who was in trouble. That's all coming up from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Ace Cosby]

Add to or continue the conversation. Check out the Bob and Tom show on Facebook. Get the [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Amazon presents Jeff vs. Taco Truck Salsa. Whether it's verde roja or the orange one, for Jeff, trying any salsa is like playing Russian roulette with a flamethrower. Luckily, Jeff saved with Amazon and stocked up on antacids, ginger tea and milk. Habanero. More like habanero. Yes. Save the everyday with Amazon.

[Bob Kevoian]

Welcome back to the Bob and Top Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. At the news desk, it's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's Pat Godwood. Hey, Chick.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's Jeff Oskay.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hi, man.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hi, man.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello.

[Bob Kevoian]

He's at the I Hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby. Hello, I'm Chick McGee. And here's Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Tom.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you very much. I think we're gonna move to the sports page at this point. So we, we had a special request once again for the old intro that we. We used to do. So if I'll Just let Finn take over. Here we go. This is what you partner for.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hello, sports fans from San Antonio last night. Anthony Edwards nickname Ant. How do you feel about that?

[Chick McGee]

Good.

[Bob Kevoian]

You like Ant for Anthony.

[Chick McGee]

And didn't Reggie say he was the funniest guy in the NBA?

[Bob Kevoian]

That's what Reg said. Yeah. Ant had 18. Wasn't supposed to play last night, but he said, ah, what the heck. It's the playoffs. And the Timberwolves. Yeah, no. They overcame a huge game by Victor Wembanyama. Vicky Vicki Wemb and Wolves held on to beat the Spurs 104, 102. First game in the Western Conference semis. Wembanyama had 11 points and 15 rebounds and set an NBA postseason record with 12 blocks. He had seven in the first half. It was almost. It was like he was playing nerf ball with his little brother and everybody else was trying to play in the NBA. It was really something. Jalen Brunson at 27 of his 35 in the first half. And the Knicks add to their historic.

[Christy Lee]

This is a theme to. Then came Bronson.

[Chick McGee]

Then came Bronson, ladies and gentlemen. Theme music.

[Bob Kevoian]

Knicks overwhelmed 76ers 137, 98 in their Game 1. The Knicks became the first team in NBA history to win three straight postseason games by at least 25 points, continuing a wave that began midway through the first round against Atlanta. Shot 63% from the field and leading by 40 points. I don't know if the Knicks are that good or Sixers have some trouble. I know Joel Embiid got a little hurt last night, but of course, you really can't have an NBA game without Joel Embiid getting hurt. Kind of like the first pitch in Major League Baseball. It's. It's NBA playoffs tonight. These are game ones. Cleveland at Detroit and the Lakers at Oklahoma City. And oh, by the way, Lakers have announced that Luca will not be playing tonight. He's still injured.

[Chick McGee]

My name is Luca.

[Bob Kevoian]

I live on the second floor.

[Chick McGee]

I make pizza at the mall. Is that still a pizza joint of the mall?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. Lucas is absolutely.

[Bob Kevoian]

You get a slice. Get a slice.

[Christy Lee]

Or is it Sabaros or something now? Did they change the name these sparrows borrows or something?

[Bob Kevoian]

It's not Subaros, it's borrow S apostrophe B.

[Christy Lee]

You're right.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I did. I did enjoy the the Dino's vers of My name is Luca, which was a great song. But they're. They're version highly disrespectful and yet humorous. Oh yeah, you Said the Pistons are playing tonight.

[Bob Kevoian]

They are, Tom. The Detroit Pistons form a chance of basketball.

[Chick McGee]

Everybody.

[Bob Kevoian]

I have so many souvenirs, it's hard to list them all. I have piston pants. I have piston shorts. Have piston beer mocks. Sometimes people don't even notice.

[Chick McGee]

I have piston as trays.

[Bob Kevoian]

I have piston chew. I have piston basketballs.

[Chick McGee]

When I dribble, they do. Now, are they still making sports teams ashtrays or is that now?

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, no.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. You think they're still doing it?

[Bob Kevoian]

Absolutely.

[Christy Lee]

Use astrays.

[Bob Kevoian]

They smell anything you can put on teams logo on, they'll sell it.

[Christy Lee]

Do you think you have an ashtray, Jeff?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. See, I don't have a sports team ashtray though.

[Chick McGee]

What do you have? What's on you.

[Jeff Oskay]

Whatever restaurant I stole it from.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, those dinery ashtrays are the best.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, plenty of room on the Washington football team bandwagon. Come on aboard, brother.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, really?

[Bob Kevoian]

I'll get you a jersey. The whole thing.

[Jeff Oskay]

Let's do it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Let's do it.

[Tom Griswold]

And we used to make ashtrays in school. Like on kiln day or kiln week.

[Bob Kevoian]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

I'm gonna make my dad an ashtray. Yeah, me too.

[Pat Godwin]

That's what we did. Ashtray.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I wonder when that was phased out. Cause I remember. Yeah. Cause we. The kiln was a real big deal. Yeah, for good reason. You couldn't get near it.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Only the teacher could. Cause, I mean, obviously, I'm sure there's a 9,000 degrees didn't in animal House. Isn't that how the young lady passed away? Wasn't it a kiln accident?

[Bob Kevoian]

Fawn died and killed.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, but God, you're so right. I remember that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

I.

[Chick McGee]

Did you do the hand print?

[Tom Griswold]

We did. We had that. And for a while there, my dad thought it was funny to use that as the ashtray. Just my hand in clay or whatever.

[Chick McGee]

I thought you meant your actual hand.

[Tom Griswold]

And it was funny.

[Bob Kevoian]

You know, I have a very special dream and I. I hesitate to share it with you jackals, but I've always wanted to blow glass.

[Tom Griswold]

It's quite an art.

[Bob Kevoian]

I think there's a.

[Chick McGee]

There's a course you can take.

[Bob Kevoian]

I know I.

[Chick McGee]

Three miles from here.

[Bob Kevoian]

I will.

[Chick McGee]

Would.

[Bob Kevoian]

I. I. This just intrigues me.

[Chick McGee]

It's. It's really cool. And you just got to be careful.

[Mike Kaplan]

It's hot.

[Bob Kevoian]

I. Yeah, yeah, Hot. I could make you guys your Christmas gifts. Think of that.

[Christy Lee]

Little ornaments.

[Jeff Oskay]

Don't.

[Bob Kevoian]

Don't pigeonhole me. I'm. My glass is my w. What is it? Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Your Milu.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's exactly right. My muse. No, that's a person. Anyway. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Who's that artist that does all that glass stuff? Is that it glows in the dark in museums.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's.

[Tom Griswold]

You could be the next Jaluly.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Not. Not Jeff Gillooly.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no.

[Chick McGee]

Wait a minute. Hang on. Mr. Oscar, do you know who Jeff Galuli is?

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

I bet it'll come back to you.

[Chick McGee]

He was the guy in. That was involved in the. Tanya Harding.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah, the boyfriend.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, he was Tanya's boyfriend and is alleged to have put it this way. The phrase hung like a Galileo kind of entered the.

[Christy Lee]

Those two kids.

[Pat Godwin]

I think they did actually.

[Bob Kevoian]

I think they didn't remember.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I don't remember either.

[Pat Godwin]

Wedding video.

[Chick McGee]

To be hung like a Galilee was not. Was quite the.

[Bob Kevoian]

But he was in. We found out because he was in the wedding video. Right. And it was. Right.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I think so.

[Bob Kevoian]

Entire Galuly.

[Christy Lee]

I bet he made her an ashtray.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. They gave each other ashtrays all the time.

[Bob Kevoian]

Remember about the.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, no, she was an ashray problem. Yeah. She was in trouble for throwing a. An ashtray made of a hubcap.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

That actually made the nude amazing. And you said. Did you have the hubcap ashtray at your house?

[Bob Kevoian]

I did not. And I don't know how we didn't. That's very white trashian.

[Chick McGee]

But now it would almost be ironic.

[Bob Kevoian]

Right. There he is. There's Talula.

[Tom Griswold]

Hilarious.

[Chick McGee]

That's trash.

[Tom Griswold]

Like a young Christopher Guest.

[Christy Lee]

Did your parents have that big ashtray that was like a beanbag on the bottom?

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah. I love the beanbag ashtray. Yeah, it was like a beanbag on the bottom and on the top.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

My mom had one that was like three feet tall.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, the one on the stand.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I remember that.

[Bob Kevoian]

And chubby chick would. I don't know from the year seven to like 11. I'd kick that bastard over every day. And she. She'd get real, real mad.

[Jeff Oskay]

We were showing the kids some old videos from when we were kids. Like silent films. We got put onto dvd.

[Christy Lee]

Sure.

[Jeff Oskay]

And for my first birthday party, I'm at the end of the table. There are three ashtrays on the table with lit cigarettes in all three of them. And I'm just eating a cupcake table and there's so much smoke in the air. The kids are like, oh, did the tape go weird? No, that's just cigarette smoke.

[Tom Griswold]

That was life.

[Chick McGee]

I assume ashtray sales are probably way down.

[Bob Kevoian]

Probably.

[Chick McGee]

Is there some kind of government program to prop up the ashtray. Can't take care of spirit airlines. But we are going to save the ashtray people.

[Christy Lee]

You see them at the vintage stores a lot.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I bet there's some. Some worth money out there.

[Christy Lee]

I have some cool ones from hotel collectible ashtrays.

[Tom Griswold]

Absolutely.

[Jeff Oskay]

I used to collect ashtrays. I had like four or five of those on the stands. And I had one that you set and you pressed a button and it fell into it, like, you know.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I was gonna say my dad's barbershop had that.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. I don't understand.

[Tom Griswold]

I'll play with the ashtray. I remember hearing that distinctly.

[Jeff Oskay]

It had like a silver disc, but it had a slit in the middle. So when you were done with it, you hit the button and it would open and drop it into the.

[Chick McGee]

You walk by, half an hour later, there'd be this really, really gray smoke coming out.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Bob Kevoian]

In the winter time, my mom and dad both smoked like chimneys and they would roll the windows up. Up because it was winter and have the heater on.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

For almost a solid hour as we drove to grandmother's house.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a little sad that some kids will not. They don't have these memories. Seeing the teacher's lounge door open and a plume.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That was always amazing. The gym teacher.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

It didn't really phase out. The. The big phase out began in the early 70s. I know this because at my high school there was a smoking lounge for the students until I was a junior.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, man.

[Christy Lee]

There was a smoking area outside in our high school for students.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, there was. We had a. We had. There was an area you were allowed to. I mean. Yeah, but then they. They. That was the. That was the first one. That was the first of the first phase of ending the Ending the days of smoking at high school. Now what is the go to new thing to make now for the kiln? If you can't make an ashtray for

[Tom Griswold]

your dad, they're probably still doing the hands.

[Christy Lee]

Don't your kids make stuff at school?

[Chick McGee]

I know a heart made a beautiful medallion that was painted. That was kind of sweet.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's nice.

[Chick McGee]

But it was nothing like a three dimension. I mean, it was three dimensional, but it wasn't really all.

[Christy Lee]

It wasn't like a bowl or.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, my daughter made like a change bowl that we have.

[Bob Kevoian]

My daughter's.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Pottery class right now. And she. I get these changes bowls.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, cool.

[Bob Kevoian]

They're cool.

[Chick McGee]

But yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Jeff, did you make when you took shop? Were guys Making dugouts.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, no, I never took shop.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I'm surprised.

[Christy Lee]

What's a dugout?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it was a thing that you could hold your weed and your lighter and a one hitter.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

And it was usually square or rectangle and made of wood and you had weed on one side.

[Tom Griswold]

And the teacher was none the wiser.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I'm sure the teachers knew. They're not that if.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, he didn't put a stop to it.

[Chick McGee]

There's a great scene in the book going all the Way by Dan Wakefield where in shop class at Shortridge High School, he built a stand so that he could. What's the word? I want to be delicate here. Put his magazines on. While engaged in various activities. Yes. And the shop teacher was none the wiser.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, I'm glad to. Glad to know that I wasn't the only American boy dreaming of such inventions.

[Chick McGee]

That might be fun to find out from various shop teachers what exotic things that their boys and girls are making in shop class.

[Tom Griswold]

They called them. They would. They told. They convinced the shop teacher that they were pencil and eraser holders. The dugouts.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, that's a good call.

[Chick McGee]

And it was for your weed.

[Tom Griswold]

That was for one. That was Mr. Yuka's shop class. Now the other shop class dugouts. It was an ex cop who taught it and he knew everything.

[Jeff Oskay]

What did you make in shop?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh my gosh, I made a lovely sconce.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, well, we all had to make it. Oh, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Wall sconce that I like to think my mom still has hanging somewhere. It had a mirror even. And I made a birdhouse.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, nice.

[Bob Kevoian]

Was the hole big enough for the birds or.

[Tom Griswold]

It was. Oh, boy. How do I describe the birdhouse? There wasn't one hole. It had had sides with plexiglass seed would go in the top many holes.

[Bob Kevoian]

No way.

[Christy Lee]

That sounds very nice.

[Tom Griswold]

It was made out of cedar, so it weighed about 55 pounds.

[Chick McGee]

Hanging from a steel cable.

[Jeff Oskay]

Today that'd be worth like 500.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Well now, well, tell us what you made in shop class. By all means. We'd love to hear from you, Bob and [e-mail] on, let's see now, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. You know what's coming up today. Comedian Mike Kaplan will be joining us also. We are one day closer to Mother's Day. It's this Sunday.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now, panic time.

[Chick McGee]

Don't want to get that letter on Monday.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, I'm in the doghouse.

[Chick McGee]

Look, morons, here's what you do.

[Bob Kevoian]

I like this Guy that you're doing, that's the guy who's in the doghouse.

[Tom Griswold]

I can't believe I forgot it was Mother's day.

[Chick McGee]

We've told you 80 times. All right, idiots, line up. Here we go. What can you do? Well, you could go to my buddy, Stephen Singer. He's a great guy. Stephen Singer. There. She should be in the hall of fame of people who have saved the asses of whoops of idiots.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's a video of Steven Singer dancing around on the Internet. It's quite impressive.

[Chick McGee]

Steven's a cool guy. He's a great dog guy. He's got a nice little rescue dog named Buddy. He's also got a website. It's I hate stevensinger.com. he, of course, is a jeweler. He specializes in diamonds. Real diamonds, not the fake stuff. Nice little gift for that mom of yours. Perhaps a nice bracelet. Maybe the atlas bracelet. Maybe the earrings, maybe the necklace. All kinds of stuff. Also the sunrise 24 karat gold dipped rose. This is an exclusive to Steven Singer. Christie's holding one up right now. It will last a lifetime. It's a real rose and it's dipped in real 24 karat gold. And then it's got beautiful colors. Kind of a blue there, a purple, pink and yellow. It's designed to look like a sunrise. Think about all those moms who get up early making lunch and breakfast for the boys and the girls and for you. Okay? So do something nice for that mom. Stephen's gold dipped roses. Once again, real roses dipped in real gold. And the sunrise Rose is just 89 bucks. Steven saw the price of gold going up and said, uh, we're gonna keep it right where it is. And the last time you can arrive. Excuse me. The last time your gift can arrive on time for mother's day would be, well, if you order it today or maybe tomorrow, I would say get this done today. I hate stephensinger.com. celebrate the moms in your life. Don't forget a nice bracelet hanging from the rose.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

That's going to be a big time Mother's day for you. I hate stephensinger.com. coming up, we will examine more things in the world of sports. We have something that we should call like freak show. Sports on the news and a hostile issue that may land somebody in jail involving having a pizza delivered and also the return of perpetual stew in the news. It was called a constance stew back in the day. I mean, if you remember from your history books, it usually was followed by disease and death. Yeah, but it's back. Thank you, Internet. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Get business done with the new American Express Graphite Business Cash unlimited card with unlimited 2% cash back on all eligible purchases. Unlimited 5% cash back on flights and prepaid hotels booked through American Express Travel Online and a flexible, flexible spending capacity that can grow with your business.

[Pat Godwin]

You'll have the confidence to keep building.

[Chick McGee]

Apply today and earn a welcome offer

[Tom Griswold]

of $1,500 cash back after you spend

[Chick McGee]

$50,000 in qualifying purchases on your new card within the first six months of card membership terms apply. Learn more at Go Amex Graphite.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're at the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Christy Lee at the news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Bob Kevoian]

Pat Godwin at the music desk.

[Pat Godwin]

Hello, Chick.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's Jeff. Oscar.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's right.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hanging out.

[Jeff Oskay]

I got big news.

[Bob Kevoian]

Big news from Oskay coming up. There's Josh Arnold over here enjoying the

[Tom Griswold]

blasting air conditioning thanks to whoever did that.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, the northeasterly wind. It was a little warm in here.

[Tom Griswold]

We thought it wasn't warm enough for this.

[Bob Kevoian]

We took. We took a vote. And who touched it? There's Ace costume. It was a combination of me and Christy. We decided to team up and take the.

[Tom Griswold]

Every morning, you guys team up and ruin our climate.

[Chick McGee]

Let's get to something interesting. Mr. Oskar, what do you have for us?

[Jeff Oskay]

Big news. Today, my daughter's boyfriend has asked me to teach him how to change his oil.

[Bob Kevoian]

Whoa.

[Jeff Oskay]

So today, tonight, me and Timmy under the hood of his Malibu, we're changing some more.

[Tom Griswold]

And this will be recorded.

[Pat Godwin]

Come on.

[Christy Lee]

Do you have a creeper?

[Jeff Oskay]

No, I don't.

[Bob Kevoian]

Please tell me.

[Jeff Oskay]

Piece of cardboard.

[Chick McGee]

Please tell me.

[Bob Kevoian]

His name is Timmy and he does have a Malibu.

[Jeff Oskay]

His name is Timmy and he does have a Malibu.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm so happy.

[Tom Griswold]

And Jeff. That's right. Even if you did have a creeper, that kid doesn't get to use it. It's cardboard time.

[Jeff Oskay]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Really, you gotta learn that way first.

[Chick McGee]

And make sure he puts the cap back on.

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, and he was smart. He didn't come to me. He had my daughter come to me and ask, hey, will you teach? He wants you to teach. Because she.

[Mike Kaplan]

He.

[Jeff Oskay]

I can't turn my daughter down.

[Christy Lee]

Right?

[Jeff Oskay]

This kid, I would have laughed in his face and walked away. But no, I am now Teaching this young lad how to treat some oil.

[Chick McGee]

Good thing.

[Christy Lee]

That's good thing.

[Jeff Oskay]

Every man should know how to do.

[Chick McGee]

I have a question for you.

[Bob Kevoian]

You.

[Chick McGee]

A friend of mine sent me a photograph. I think he sent it to you as well, Pat. And he. His. He was with his lady friend, who is quite distinguished, and she was asking him to remove the seeds from a kind of a chili flake thing.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm out.

[Chick McGee]

Just bear with me here.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I mean, if that relationship. If that were me.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah. He's gonna do a lot of stuff.

[Chick McGee]

I get it. Again. Again, Josh, what's the term looking for? Perpetually single.

[Mike Kaplan]

That's right.

[Chick McGee]

Certain compromises must be made in the world of love, Josh. I'll take you outside and tell you. What is it? It's like. They're like chili flakes. You know, the ones that come in the sh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, those things.

[Christy Lee]

Red pepper flakes.

[Chick McGee]

Exact. Thank you. I'm sorry. That's what they were. But there were seeds in it. Okay, so my question is. He showed him. Him. He was cleaning them out with a card kind of thing, and he said it reminded him. Reminded him of the old days. And I texted him back and I said, you really should be doing that on the Led Zeppelin double album.

[Tom Griswold]

Absolutely.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah, that'd be perfect.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, there he is.

[Chick McGee]

We're actually. I'm putting this picture of him up there.

[Jeff Oskay]

It's.

[Tom Griswold]

That poor son of a.

[Chick McGee]

He's been doing a lot lately, and I would. I don't mean. I don't mean to throw him under the bus here. There was a time.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm glad you don't mean to throw

[Chick McGee]

that picture up there.

[Mike Kaplan]

Did you do that?

[Chick McGee]

No, no, no, no.

[Jeff Oskay]

Based on his technique, that's not the first time he's.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that. That was my point. It was that he may be taking the seeds out of chili flakes, but there was a time.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a man who knows what he's doing.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. But 10 out of 10.

[Chick McGee]

It's kind of a lost art for a number of reasons, but the, the return of the vinyl album and also the.

[Christy Lee]

Your pot's clean now.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, apparently. I don't know. I, I. But it's my understanding that they know back in the day, the pot had a lot of seeds in it, and it was. And stems, and it was not very good.

[Jeff Oskay]

And I found a nickel one time I got brick weed.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

Like, that had a corner on it. You knew if it had a corner, a 3D corner to it, you were getting really good weed. And I Was breaking it apart and a nickel fell out. I was like, oh, I got.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, it was a nickel bag, wasn't it?

[Chick McGee]

Very good.

[Bob Kevoian]

Touche.

[Tom Griswold]

I remember learning when I remember the exact moment. I learned that pot seeds will pop in a. When lit.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Because we were kind of lazy one time and.

[Chick McGee]

Chick, you tell the story. Your dad had a machine that would roll.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, a machine is a big word for was hand powered. It was a strop of leather stretched across a metal.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, I have that machine.

[Bob Kevoian]

It would roll cigarettes. That's standard cigarettes. But you could also roll your doobie with it. And that's what my dad would use it for.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, but I guess we're talking about certain skills that apply later in life. And now if you need to remove the seeds from your chili flakes, you

[Tom Griswold]

know, he's a good man. Well, I always knew he was a sweet man.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah, but that's insane. I mean, I'm sure she's a lovely lady.

[Chick McGee]

You wouldn't remove the seeds from the chili flakes. So. The lady.

[Tom Griswold]

You know I would. You know I would.

[Bob Kevoian]

Absolutely. With my teeth. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Happy to.

[Chick McGee]

Now, do the seeds not taste good in the chili flakes?

[Tom Griswold]

She may have dietary reasons.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

These fancy chili flakes, I've never heard.

[Chick McGee]

I didn't know.

[Bob Kevoian]

You should stay away from.

[Tom Griswold]

Seeds are kind of flat and you know, in those things and stuff.

[Bob Kevoian]

You need to stay away from seeds. Right. All seeds. Right.

[Tom Griswold]

That's been debunked by most medical professionals regarding diverticulitis.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes. All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But to each their own. Whatever your doctor has told you, do it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. Now we're gonna get back to the sports page, is that correct?

[Bob Kevoian]

Right? Well, not just any sports, Tom. A British strongman accomplished an astounding feat of strength while on fire. Oh, gosh, there he is. Well, he's barely on fire.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, no, it's like the wish you were here album.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. His back. His back and head are on. You can see the flames. And then there's a green cable going to the the hood of an automobile and he's backing up. What you can't see is what.

[Bob Kevoian]

According to a newspaper, The Yorkshire Post, Mr. John Stevenson pulled a 2 ton French police car 131ft using just his penis.

[Tom Griswold]

I bet it goes like a weird police.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, there he is.

[Christy Lee]

Look at that. What a. Whoa.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now how much of that.

[Tom Griswold]

We can't even tell if that's really attached to his wiener.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, that's.

[Christy Lee]

It could be attached around his waist. Right.

[Bob Kevoian]

The 50 year old Stevenson Said the stunt hurt quote quite a bit.

[Christy Lee]

A bat.

[Tom Griswold]

What, the fire or the penis tugging?

[Bob Kevoian]

He just mentioned the stunt. I guess all of it.

[Chick McGee]

I don't like this. This is like a three ring circus. You can't focus on the one thing. Yeah, is the fire gonna get.

[Tom Griswold]

I think the fire is meant to distract us from the fact that his penis is not actually attached to that.

[Christy Lee]

I'm a good deal. Josh, I'm scared, but I think if

[Chick McGee]

you can pull a car with your penis, you able to get your car out of impound for free.

[Tom Griswold]

You're exactly right. You have to do it that way, right?

[Chick McGee]

Yes. Yes, I had a car impounded once. And rather than. Rather than pay the 100 bucks, he

[Bob Kevoian]

did say everything's still intact, though.

[Mike Kaplan]

All right, good.

[Bob Kevoian]

Stevenson told the newspaper he performed the stunt to help raise awareness of prostate cancer and bullying in schools. You know, it's kind of an odd combination.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't they call the hood the bonnet?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes, the bonnet and the boot.

[Tom Griswold]

And the windscreen instead of a windshield shield?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yep, windscreen weirdos. Exactly right.

[Chick McGee]

So I want was this.

[Bob Kevoian]

And don't get me started on pickup trucks.

[Chick McGee]

So was this wrapped around his. The whole package down there, do you suppose?

[Christy Lee]

You can't tell from the picture.

[Bob Kevoian]

Saw it. It looked like it was just around the joint.

[Tom Griswold]

And it did look like it was wrapped around joint. Just the penis itself.

[Bob Kevoian]

The shaft, not the.

[Tom Griswold]

The testicles is. That's asking too much of the body, isn't it? Yes, the wiener has some.

[Jeff Oskay]

But don't you want to go with as close to the base as possible?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

See, to me, this really is the

[Bob Kevoian]

center because Keep the testicles out of it.

[Tom Griswold]

They're far too sensitive to a sween.

[Christy Lee]

See, I don't understand this.

[Bob Kevoian]

It is a zip tie. It's a zip tie.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I'm even more skeptical.

[Christy Lee]

How would I see the zip tie?

[Chick McGee]

I think he's secretly got. Got attached to some kind of truss

[Bob Kevoian]

apparatus that goes around his way.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, granted, there may have been eye. There may have been eyewitnesses that saw him actually attach this.

[Bob Kevoian]

And certainly.

[Chick McGee]

I'm sorry, he's trying to bring out awareness of. What is it again?

[Bob Kevoian]

Prostate cancer and bullying in school.

[Chick McGee]

See, this to me, brings awareness of mental health issues that. That he has them. And as a society, we are finding this worthy of.

[Jeff Oskay]

If he wants to prostate, he should have. Have pulled it with a butt plug.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you. That's what I was gonna say.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Now that's grip. Because you can't pull the butt Plug out. Yeah. You're disqualified.

[Chick McGee]

Is that possible?

[Jeff Oskay]

I mean, you gotta.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you have to have.

[Chick McGee]

Jeff, Jeff, you. Wait a minute.

[Jeff Oskay]

I mean, if. Record's gotta be set, I'll try it.

[Tom Griswold]

If you can pull a red wagon that way, I will give you a thousand dollars.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.

[Jeff Oskay]

How much my van costs to be fixed is $1,000. I will do it today.

[Tom Griswold]

And Christy Lee is sitting in the red wagon.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I bet you could do it.

[Pat Godwin]

Not with Christy Lee.

[Tom Griswold]

You have to clench your anus. Wait a minute.

[Chick McGee]

You'd have to have. What would the apparatus look like? Would it be a. Like a bulbous insert? That would be.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I have a little red flyer wagon, if you'd like to.

[Chick McGee]

This is great.

[Bob Kevoian]

The more bulbous, the better.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, it would have to be something that you can really.

[Tom Griswold]

And your father has to be there watching live.

[Chick McGee]

Wait a second. That's just. That's just cruel. I think it'd be better if you

[Jeff Oskay]

want to kill the man.

[Chick McGee]

It would be better if his dad heard about it from one of his friends.

[Tom Griswold]

And you have to keep. You have to stare him in the eyes the whole time and just keep saying, I love you, Daddy.

[Bob Kevoian]

And the first. The first 100 listeners to show up can also watch.

[Tom Griswold]

You have to keep saying, are you proud of me, Daddy? Are you proud of your boy?

[Pat Godwin]

What do you think of me now, Daddy?

[Chick McGee]

Now, I have a question. Would you.

[Christy Lee]

You.

[Chick McGee]

Would you back up or would you go forward with your. Would you be forward.

[Tom Griswold]

I see what you're asking.

[Pat Godwin]

Coming through the legs.

[Tom Griswold]

We're all saying, he's going forward that way. You really have to clench.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And what could go wrong?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I think the.

[Chick McGee]

Would it just pop out, or could you get like a. Like a prolapsed anus?

[Jeff Oskay]

Well, it could be like if you're towing a car and that rope breaks and it shoots back and hit the butt plug, hits Christy in the face. It gives her a black eye, a brown eye.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that'd be a. That'd be a tough one to explain to the health insurance people.

[Christy Lee]

Well, then I'd get pink eyes.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Maybe we should cancel this promotion.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, well, it was a good.

[Chick McGee]

It was a good thought. Is that sports?

[Bob Kevoian]

No. Guinness World Record coming up.

[Chick McGee]

All right. Well, speaking of sports.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

I believe we have something in the world of sporting news for you.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's exactly right. Indiana Hoosier fans, listen up. This is it. It's your final chance to grab two of the most collectible Indiana football pieces. You're ever going to see. First, there's a limited edition, fully licensed camaraderie commemorative football captures the entire perfect undefeated national championship season for the Indiana Hoosiers of 2025. And of course, then there's Fernando Mendoza, the limited edition NFL Draft first pick commemorative football built all around the 2025 performance. Both footballs extremely, very, very limited. When they're gone, they're gone. Each football full size, fully licensed, embossed, and each one comes with an individually numbered certificate of authenticity. And they're just $129.95 each. Head to nikosports.com that's n I k c o sports.com one more time. That's n I k c o sports dot com that's nikosports.com for the IU commemorative footballs.

[Chick McGee]

Thanks very much, Chick Magee. Coming up, some changes at McDonald's in the beverage department of interest. Also drone hate out there and the connection between beer and sunscreen has been revealed. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Ace Cosby]

This is the Bob and Tom Show. Reach us toll free at 1-888-bobtom1 [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom show

[Chick McGee]

coming up.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee at the News. Des, sir, there. You're welcome. Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, chick.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, man. There's Jeff Oskar.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hey, man.

[Bob Kevoian]

And at last, during the commercials, we're talking about cleaning our marijuana.

[Tom Griswold]

No, that was as opposed to how much Metamucil we're taking.

[Chick McGee]

We talk about the old days. And again, a friend of the show, I don't want to use his name. Alex was cleaning.

[Tom Griswold]

People couldn't hear you. It's Alan Johnson.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, sorry. He was cleaning chili flakes and his, his lovely girlfriend had asked him to, to remove the seeds and so he was able to call on an old skill that he had there, there's the photograph. And I suggested he get a Red Hot Chili Peppers album, vinyl, and do it on an album cover. Just, that's pretty funny. That's, that's the way it was done. And then in the, the, the, the, the crotch of the album, if you will, the seeds would roll down there and then you would. Yeah. Oh, no. We have a lot to get to here. I, I believe we have one more story in the world of sports.

[Bob Kevoian]

We do stupid world record. A Virginia man has broken the Guinness World record for the most pull ups in 24 hours.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Bob Kevoian]

According to reports 22 year old Xavier Dillard performed a total of 12,412 pull ups to beat the current record of.

[Chick McGee]

Josh, these aren't the orange ice cream treat. Yep, that's a push ups.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no. I know what you were gonna do.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, no, that's not what I was gonna do.

[Tom Griswold]

What were you gonna do?

[Chick McGee]

I was gonna say my son Willie had the record for the most pull ups. I had to change in a 24 hour period when he was two and a half years old one time.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm a big boy now.

[Tom Griswold]

I was way off.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah,

[Tom Griswold]

but you can understand why. I might.

[Chick McGee]

But those are push ups you're referring to.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah. You hold that record right now.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do you like those?

[Tom Griswold]

I, I do. I like that orange sherbet flavor.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I like Dreamsicles and stuff.

[Bob Kevoian]

And the cream filling.

[Jeff Oskay]

I will only eat my ice cream out of a toilet paper roll. That's why I only go with every

[Christy Lee]

once in a while.

[Chick McGee]

Those, those, those prefab cones that come wrapped in paper.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Like a drumstick.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, those aren't bad.

[Tom Griswold]

No, they're great. Yeah, they're great every once in a while.

[Chick McGee]

Oh yeah. You know the best thing?

[Jeff Oskay]

Ice creams.

[Chick McGee]

Bring it to the table. Oh ye.

[Jeff Oskay]

They are good.

[Bob Kevoian]

You can get them with vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream or butter pecan.

[Chick McGee]

What was your go to? Who was your. When you were growing up? The truck that came through town and in my city it was Uncle Marty. That was the name of the truck.

[Bob Kevoian]

I bet it was. I bet.

[Jeff Oskay]

Was it called Good Touch ice cream?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Don't tell your parents. Kids ice cream cones.

[Bob Kevoian]

Ours was Mr. Softy.

[Chick McGee]

Now was that a truck or was that.

[Bob Kevoian]

It was a truck. And my best friend who might be listening right now, his brother drove the Mr. Softy. Needless to say, David and I were chubby.

[Tom Griswold]

What was soft serve an option?

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Not with Uncle Marty.

[Bob Kevoian]

They had a.

[Tom Griswold]

Never was with me either.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, they had it like just like at the Dairy Queen. They had one of those on board.

[Tom Griswold]

Awesome. Yeah, I've seen those. I never saw it in real life.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yep. Something else.

[Chick McGee]

And did that, did it have the standard music?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Kind of a calliope.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, whatever.

[Chick McGee]

I think that was. I was often turkey in the straw

[Bob Kevoian]

and it had the logo of Mr. Softy.

[Christy Lee]

Ours was a bell head.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, the ice cream.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, you guys had that?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Those are classic.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yep.

[Chick McGee]

It's great.

[Tom Griswold]

Ours was just a van. Ours was the menu on the side

[Bob Kevoian]

and the windows blacked out.

[Christy Lee]

And what did you get?

[Tom Griswold]

Guy With a cast drumstick was always the I was. I never cared for bomb pops. I never cared for the things that you wanted to be good weren't. Like the Pac man with the gumball eyes and those lasted for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

[Christy Lee]

I like the strawberry shortcake things. Remember those?

[Jeff Oskay]

Those are good.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. I can get those at Aldi.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes, I stick to this memory. They had Captain Crunch ice cream bars.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

And they did chocolate coating on the outside and ice cream and nuts on the. It was so freaking good.

[Chick McGee]

Do these trucks still exist?

[Tom Griswold]

They do. Everyone. Every now and again one will make its way through my neighborhood. But it's. I swear sometimes it's like 12:15pm like what do you.

[Pat Godwin]

No, no.

[Tom Griswold]

Kids are well I guess in the summertime.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh okay. Well. And you're you know coming down, you want some ice cream, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Well I'm usually reading on my porch. These whippersnappers. Get your.

[Chick McGee]

Did you knock the kids out of the way as you rush to the store?

[Tom Griswold]

Get your treats fatties.

[Chick McGee]

You don't. So if.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do you not the ice cream truck sucks.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean not.

[Chick McGee]

You wouldn't. Oh if an ice cream truck came down my street I'd immediately be out there.

[Tom Griswold]

It's all garbage. If, if they had the drumstick then maybe other. Other than that you can keep it, huh? Yeah. Well this is like from a Lynch movie.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'm surprised you had an ice cream truck in your neighborhood.

[Chick McGee]

Oh yeah, Uncle Marty did.

[Jeff Oskay]

Did you guys give him the code to the gate so he could get in?

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm Uncle Marty. The one man party.

[Chick McGee]

Well, I'm sorry. So the guy has a world record I for how do we get on this?

[Bob Kevoian]

I believe 412 pull ups. The current record, it was 12,345.

[Mike Kaplan]

You don't run to the ice cream truck.

[Tom Griswold]

You don't. You don't bust out of your. Your house not even opening the door like the Kool Aid man.

[Mike Kaplan]

When you hear the. The bell of the ice cream man,

[Tom Griswold]

you don't hold him at gunpoint and steal the van.

[Pat Godwin]

Go.

[Tom Griswold]

Piece of crap.

[Bob Kevoian]

You don't knock other kids out of the way to get to the ice cream.

[Chick McGee]

I thought, I thought you guys missed it. Trying to process it.

[Christy Lee]

You are a bully.

[Mike Kaplan]

You don't eat the van thinking that the ice cream man is made out of ice cream.

[Bob Kevoian]

And I think, I think I speak on behalf of all of us. Some mornings it's a little easier to take. Now this morning you. It's. It's very obvious to all of us that you don't want us here.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Bob Kevoian]

So.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, no, I, I'm.

[Tom Griswold]

You're.

[Chick McGee]

I'm glad you're here because I. I am about one quarter here.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

I had a. A dog. That was thunder last night. Check local listings. And my dog woke me up over and over again. I had a brutal yesterday. Got nothing done. There we go. Here's the guy doing the push up, pull up record.

[Christy Lee]

Did he get a break? He got a break at some point.

[Bob Kevoian]

Did you hear what Christy said when she saw him?

[Tom Griswold]

It could be taken a few different ways.

[Mike Kaplan]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

No, it's like hurt me because that's

[Bob Kevoian]

so hard to do.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, he does get a break every.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, he's. Wait a minute. He's wearing gloves.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. He's got 24 hours to do whatever number.

[Chick McGee]

He's so hard.

[Jeff Oskay]

He has done more push ups in 20 or pull ups in 24 hours than I have in a lot.

[Chick McGee]

He.

[Jeff Oskay]

He beat my lifetime record by like 20,000.

[Christy Lee]

He did more pull ups right there than I've ever done in my lifetime. That was what, 10?

[Chick McGee]

His arms are tomorrow gonna look like those flailing arms at the used car dealer. He's gonn.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

See, how is he gonna be able to do anything?

[Chick McGee]

Well, good for him. Is that sports?

[Bob Kevoian]

That would be sore.

[Tom Griswold]

It didn't look like he had an ounce of fat on him.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes, Tom, that's sports. And here's our outro music. Yeah, I'm too sexy for my shirt.

[Chick McGee]

Right, said Fred.

[Tom Griswold]

Where is right said Fred?

[Bob Kevoian]

Tell me. Conventions. Right, said Fred. Convention.

[Tom Griswold]

I hope, I hope he's part of some 90s convention place.

[Chick McGee]

Opening act on a cruise ship.

[Bob Kevoian]

Who would you have? I would go right said Fred.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, I'm sure he's still young mc.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, now does he. Does he open with that or do you save that for.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, he does it first in the middle and the end.

[Jeff Oskay]

I'm pretty sure I had that casingal and it was both on both sides was the same song.

[Tom Griswold]

Was it? And one of them was an extended maybe.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Bob Kevoian]

I bet the Human league shows up.

[Tom Griswold]

I love them.

[Christy Lee]

I do too.

[Chick McGee]

No, Josh, I have a question for you because you are a native of Missouri.

[Pat Godwin]

And are you.

[Chick McGee]

Is it Missourian or Missouriite?

[Tom Griswold]

Missourian.

[Chick McGee]

Missourian. Have you heard of a town called Cooter?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Chick McGee]

There was a 4.0 magnitude earthquake in the city of Cooter last week.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I bet that New Madrid's fault runs right through Missouri. Is. Is it Coot or D C o

[Chick McGee]

o T e r wow.

[Bob Kevoian]

That is Cooter, all right.

[Chick McGee]

It's. They're famous in Cooter. You probably know this.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Chick McGee]

For the famous mosquito infestation of the mosquito infestation of 87. Yeah, yeah. What was that Known as the Itchy Cooter. Thought you're gonna go with crack.

[Christy Lee]

I was right in my head. Cooter's a slang term.

[Tom Griswold]

Ye.

[Bob Kevoian]

See, now I'm thinking Itchy Cooter park, maybe.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that'd be.

[Jeff Oskay]

I think Cooter. Wasn't he on the Dukes of Hazard? Yes, I'm pretty sure that was my favorite character on Dukes of Hazard was Cooter.

[Tom Griswold]

You love Cooter.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, I love Cooter.

[Chick McGee]

And they were just.

[Pat Godwin]

They were.

[Chick McGee]

They were just winking at the network.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they must have been.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Among the things that should have been canceled. Cooter. The top of the General Lee.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

On and on.

[Chick McGee]

Cooter. If you look at the map, it's just east of Boston. Anyway, I just thought that was so silly. There was a place called Cooter.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. You go. If you drive from St. Louis to Memphis, you're going to go through Cooter.

[Bob Kevoian]

No kidding.

[Chick McGee]

According to this music, 700 people recorded the earthquake.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now, what highway is that, Josh?

[Chick McGee]

I'm sorry.

[Bob Kevoian]

55. 50. 55.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

I can't drive all the way to Chicago.

[Chick McGee]

I see. Coming up, we have a little bit of a history lesson for you. Comedian Mike Kaplan will be joining us us to rescue the program. And then if you've always ever wondered how to hack the the world of IDs on computers, there's a new hack out there that is very basic and apparently working. We'll explain to you how you can appear to be older than you, than you are or want to be. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Ace Cosby]

For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom Show Contest rules, go to bob and tom.com contest rules. Or just scroll down to the bottom of the page and see Contest rules. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Bob Kevoian]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. In the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios at the news desk, it's Christy Lee. Howdy, howdy do. There's Pat Godwin. Hey, hey. Man, that was fun. That was everywhere. There's Jeff Oskar.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's Josh Arnold at the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair.

[Tom Griswold]

Listen to me now.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes, sir.

[Tom Griswold]

Listen to me now and hear me later. I am Hans.

[Christy Lee]

Hi, Hans.

[Tom Griswold]

And we are here to pump you up for mother's day. Capture the colors of the sunrise. This really is the most beautiful gold dipped rose Stephen Singer has put out thus far. And you can guess it at I hate stevensinger.com. mom's gonna love it.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, speaking of putting out, how's your mom?

[Tom Griswold]

She's also going.

[Christy Lee]

Shoes, you are on fire.

[Chick McGee]

I appreciate you asking because your mom had surgery yesterday.

[Tom Griswold]

She did? Yeah. Yeah, she's doing well.

[Bob Kevoian]

How soon can she put out?

[Tom Griswold]

I haven't asked.

[Chick McGee]

I'm sorry I interrupted. Stephen. Stephen Singer.

[Christy Lee]

No mom's man.

[Tom Griswold]

Steven Singer dot com. I hate Stephensinger dot com is the place to go.

[Bob Kevoian]

Bring it in.

[Tom Griswold]

She texted. She was groggy but she said I'll call you tomorrow with further details.

[Chick McGee]

So she did. She survived the surgery.

[Tom Griswold]

Absolutely.

[Chick McGee]

All is well.

[Tom Griswold]

Doing well. Yeah. Back home and everything.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. So if you're, if your mother's extant, if you will, feel free to get her something nice from Steven Singer Jewelers.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Or maybe your wife's a mom, your girlfriend's a mom, whatever.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, there's Ace Cosby on check. Hello, Tom.

[Chick McGee]

I'm here.

[Bob Kevoian]

Thank you very much.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, well, let's, let's switch gears.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes. When we have finished sports and it's time to now for Christian news coming

[Chick McGee]

up, we're going to be joined by comedian Mike Kaplan.

[Tom Griswold]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

Brought to you by Lee's famous recipe

[Bob Kevoian]

chicken Famous for a reason. Tom, you know that guest comedian appearances like Mike Kaplan on the Bob and Tom show sponsored by Lee's famous recipe chicken Famous for a reason.

[Tom Griswold]

I'll have six drumsticks, please.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, man. And don't sleep on the chicken pot pies at least. Oh, gosh, they're good.

[Christy Lee]

How old were you before you realized there were other parts of a chicken besides the drumstick?

[Tom Griswold]

You know, I always. Chris Rock has a bit and for our house, it was absolutely true that dad got the big piece of chicken. Yeah. So I was always aware of other pieces but never interested.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. We always had drumsticks. There was like no other option. Oh well, I mean I think my parents would eat different pieces but I don't recall ever being offered a. I was just at the thigh or a breast.

[Chick McGee]

I was at the cafeteria the other night night with the girls because they like going there and it's like an extra buck 50 for the, for the dark meat.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I was quite surprised.

[Christy Lee]

I thought, huh.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. That place you have to order, you get either the white meat or the dark meat. It's, they're separate plates.

[Chick McGee]

Delightful. And it was delightful. They're Separate but equal Place a potential

[Bob Kevoian]

set up for a. Yeah, that's what you're doing.

[Chick McGee]

It was a little Supreme Court humor.

[Tom Griswold]

I was a little shocked by it.

[Bob Kevoian]

Speaking of food, they weigh exactly the same. Yeah, Separate.

[Christy Lee]

But have you ever thought about what Americans are obsessing over?

[Bob Kevoian]

No.

[Chick McGee]

No, not at all. Survey, not intelligence.

[Christy Lee]

A new survey of 2,000 U.S. adults.

[Bob Kevoian]

You know, Americans are listening right now,

[Christy Lee]

commissioned by Poncho's Cheese Dip.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that right? Wait a minute.

[Chick McGee]

Poncho's cheese Dip. I know that they have a. A think tank.

[Bob Kevoian]

When I.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, it's Cinco de Mayo. I'll have some cheese.

[Bob Kevoian]

When I think of doing a survey, I think of Poncho. That's all I know is poncho.

[Chick McGee]

Is it a good cheese dip? I don't know.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know, but I'd like to try it. They. They asked our friends at Talker Research, though, to do the survey, so they talked. 2,000 U.S. adults, 65% say they obsess over food, while 55% focus on health and fitness.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait, 65% and 55% poncho.

[Chick McGee]

Like I said, intelligence.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm not so good with numbers.

[Chick McGee]

I guess you can. You can obsess over both food and whatever it is. Fitness.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Popular food trends include air frying, which I did last night with my salmon, thank you very much. Zero sugar drinks, so called healthy snack foods, along with. And this is the big trend right now, protein max. On the health side, some people report tracking calories, analyzing health data, and then following weight loss drugs like the GLP ones. Of course, nearly two thirds believe the country has an obsession problem. And 70% say people would be happier if they worried less about food and health. Many are pushing back. 60% say they're tired of being told what to eat and when it comes down to it, and this is probably everyone. Most would rather enjoy snacks with friends than hit the gym.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, of course. All right, now, Pat, you got your guitar. What's going on over there?

[Pat Godwin]

I got a song about this. Yesterday they said, drink more coffee. Today they'll say it's bad for you, like Kool Aid and Coke. Egg yolks are fine. Folks were wrong the whole time. What is this, some cotton aspect? Nutritionists say it's good if you skip breakfast. It used to be the most important meal of the day. Oh, they took away my bacon. It's salmon they're now making, but butter's back. Good fats are here to say why. I'll tell you why. Cause it's good for you. Yeah, it was bad ones too.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

They say you must do what they tell you to if you know what's good for you. Red wine is bad now. It's in today's news. No alcohol at all. Wait a doggone minute. No booze. Someone put some sugar on my Twinkie. Fry me a burger. Yeah, light up my smoke. Bring me a double quick. I'm in trouble. I almost OD'd on sweet and Low. Cause they said it's good for you. Yeah, it was bad once too. If you watch what you eat and everything that you do, you might just live to be a hundred and two. Or maybe it'll just seem that long.

[Christy Lee]

Nice.

[Chick McGee]

Have yolks. Egg yolks. Gotten their due, are they?

[Christy Lee]

They're good for you now.

[Mike Kaplan]

Good for you now.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, they've that after all that don't eat egg yolk thing. So people know that now because they still have the. You go to the.

[Christy Lee]

Well, some people don't. I don't.

[Chick McGee]

Restaurant. Restaurants have the yolks much. What?

[Christy Lee]

I don't like hard boiled egg yolks, but I'll eat them like in a breezy.

[Chick McGee]

It's nature's natural gravity. Gravy.

[Christy Lee]

I know. I like. But not hard boiled. I don't like them when they're cooked.

[Chick McGee]

What?

[Christy Lee]

I don't.

[Chick McGee]

They're delightful.

[Pat Godwin]

I think people think they're the best thing for you now. Best.

[Tom Griswold]

Best way to get protein.

[Pat Godwin]

The whole egg.

[Bob Kevoian]

I don't think you heard what Tom said. They're delightful.

[Christy Lee]

I know.

[Chick McGee]

You know. I don't. Boiled egg.

[Tom Griswold]

I get why you wouldn't like the hard boiled egg.

[Christy Lee]

Hard boiled egg white.

[Bob Kevoian]

It's up to you whether you like it or not. By him.

[Chick McGee]

You eat deviled eggs.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, God, no.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. They would have the stuff that has

[Christy Lee]

yolk and mayonnaise and mustard in it. Three things I don't care for.

[Chick McGee]

I'll eat yours. All right, they're there.

[Bob Kevoian]

You know what we should start doing, me and you, Tom? We get a jar of mayonnaise and a squeeze thing. Mustard. And get a dozen boiled eggs and just sit in our underwear and make deviled eggs and just put them in a mouth but don't make them as you go, you know. Dunk it in the mayonnaise. Then dunk it in the mustard.

[Christy Lee]

Oh my God.

[Bob Kevoian]

Right down.

[Chick McGee]

No mustard on mine. But thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

Don't sleep on. Well, no, you are having mushrooms.

[Christy Lee]

You just don't know it.

[Tom Griswold]

And don't sleep on putting a little sweet relish in there, too. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, there's a restaurant I have gone to that has a deviled egg flight.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's kind of a popular deal.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they have, like, five or six different kinds of little deviled eggs on it.

[Chick McGee]

But you don't eat them.

[Christy Lee]

No, but I.

[Tom Griswold]

Sometimes with a jalapeno slice.

[Jeff Oskay]

How do you feel about a paprika dash?

[Tom Griswold]

Of course. Oh, you gotta have, if anything, for aesthetics.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Now, do you still carry around Mrs. Dash in your purse?

[Christy Lee]

No. Molly McButter.

[Chick McGee]

Molly McButter.

[Bob Kevoian]

I don't believe you.

[Christy Lee]

I don't go look at my bag. You go look at both of my bags right now.

[Bob Kevoian]

Can I go through your bag?

[Christy Lee]

Sure.

[Bob Kevoian]

Can I ask you questions about what's in your bag? Sure.

[Christy Lee]

I don't care.

[Bob Kevoian]

Josh, you up for this?

[Pat Godwin]

You have a souvenir tampon in there?

[Bob Kevoian]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

You would let us tip your bag over and just look at everything that's in there?

[Christy Lee]

Sure.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, no, you wouldn't go back one. What's a souvenir tampon?

[Pat Godwin]

Well, she hasn't used one in a while.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I thought memories. I thought it was like, you know, visit Granite City. Has anybody ever done that? Logo tampons, and they put them in

[Tom Griswold]

those things that decorative spoons go in

[Bob Kevoian]

being a good mom, though. I bet you have Tampons City.

[Chick McGee]

Has anybody ever done that?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Chick McGee]

Like, if you go to an expensive hotel, do they have monogram tampons?

[Christy Lee]

I have never seen those.

[Bob Kevoian]

Why not?

[Christy Lee]

Not why not?

[Tom Griswold]

Seems un.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, because mostly they'd be hers. Okay. You wouldn't need a monogram. What?

[Tom Griswold]

Right. Yeah. Who's that for?

[Pat Godwin]

I think you mean the hotel's going.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no, no.

[Chick McGee]

I'm sorry. I don't mean.

[Christy Lee]

With Christie's initials on the applicator.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, it would say Four Seasons or something.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, okay.

[Christy Lee]

Well, I've never stated of Four Seasons. Excuse me. They may have them.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe they have them at the Red Roof in.

[Chick McGee]

You would have thought we'd planned that.

[Christy Lee]

But you're right. I do carry sometimes for the girls.

[Chick McGee]

Let's. Well, I'll go online and see if

[Christy Lee]

we can get some monogram tampons.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, well, we have Bob and Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

No, you got it for Christmas, you got to make tampons with your face.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, God.

[Chick McGee]

I had an idea.

[Christy Lee]

When they get wet and expand.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. They'd be like Rorschach tampons.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe pads would be the better way to go, though, on the wrap.

[Bob Kevoian]

Or squint your face up like you're going inside somewhere and you're scared.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. I'm holding a flashlight.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yes. All right, here we go. Stay behind me.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know what's going to happen in here. You got the bar, Kirby?

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay, two clicks. Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much.

[Chick McGee]

Well, what's coming up in the news?

[Christy Lee]

Coming up in the news, we have. If you want to get past some online age restrictions, we have kids that have figured that out, young people. We have a perpetual stew in the news. Is it safe to eat? We'll find out.

[Chick McGee]

I can't imagine that that's a great idea, but right now I want to save you for mother's day. I've been telling you about this for a few weeks now. The time is running out. You've got to get this done. This is a terrific Mother's day gift. I'm talking about the aura frame. There's one right behind Josh. You spell it A U, R A. And I spell it out for you because you find [e-mail] what this is, it's a little picture frame. Not that little. It's like an 8 by 10 and it rotates with beautiful photographs and videos that you. You store in there. Unlimited storage, by the way. In the aura frame, you can put as many photos or videos in as you want and you can do it from anywhere. That's the cool thing about this. You could give one to that mom in your life and then you could be living in a different state even, and loaded up with photographs. Whenever you feel like it.

[Tom Griswold]

You. You actually put a picture of one of your wordle wins in there. A screenshot of winning wordle.

[Chick McGee]

What does it say?

[Christy Lee]

It says.

[Chick McGee]

It says radio. You see, Josh, that's what this is. If it had said cheesecake, you would have been happier, but it would have been too many letters.

[Bob Kevoian]

My God, is there no end? And you thought you looked over here. Like I'd missed this.

[Chick McGee]

That cheesecake. Stupid.

[Pat Godwin]

You could have gone with cheese.

[Tom Griswold]

He thinks the listeners are on his side, by the way.

[Bob Kevoian]

I think they are.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, no, I don't. I'm not that stupid. The aura frame is a great gift. And there's a nice full. There's a photograph of me with Gunner and Mr. Fletcher at a promotion. He was having a good time. There's a picture of us wearing wigs. As you can see, it's much like a slideshow. And it's. It's a lot of fun. And this is a great, great gift for moms out there. We keep getting fan mail from people who bought them for moms and dads, etc. Etc. Here's how you do it. First of all, you go to auraframes.com and once again, it's a U R A. And by the way, the Carver matte frame is the best one and that's the one you can get 25 bucks off for a limited time. If you're a Bob and Tom show listener, just use the code my name Tom. And by the way, the aura frame has been voted number one by wirecutter and they are picky, picky, picky. So it's a great gift. You can save on it with the code Tom Carver mat frame. You'll find it at auraframes.com one more time. Aura frames.com support the Bob and Tom show, please, by mentioning us when you check out. That'd be very nice. Coming up, we're gonna hang out with comedian Mike Kaplan. We have how to get by some of those restricted things on the Internet, a new hack, if you will. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs, get parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Christy Lee at the news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Hi, Chick McGee.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, there's Pat Godwin.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, Chick.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hi, Pat. There's Josh Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi, there.

[Bob Kevoian]

He's at the IH Steven Singer sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, Chick.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, man. I am Chick McGee and Tom. We have a special guest.

[Chick McGee]

We are joined by comedian Mike Kaplan in the studio. And. And Mike is a distinguished standup comedian. He's been in the Tonight Show. He's got a couple of specials floating around in the ether, including Rainy on YouTube as we speak and more. We'll get to that in just a second. Mike. Hello. How are you, sir?

[Mike Kaplan]

Always happy to be here. I appreciate you calling me a distinguished comedian. I believe in part because I was just called distinguished for having white hair.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, well, I have it, too, and I actually don't mind having it at all.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you. Are you cool with it?

[Mike Kaplan]

Oh, I would. I mean, I'm happy no matter what happens. My grandmother would always say, until she died at 91, I woke up this morning and nothing new hurt and that being alive and getting getting older isn't her favorite, but it beats the alternative. So I'm happy to be here and I'm happy for my hair to be Wherever it is and whatever color it wants to be.

[Chick McGee]

It's only really kind of white there on the sides.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Mike Kaplan]

Yeah. And the beard as well.

[Chick McGee]

And the beard. You know, you don't dye the beard.

[Mike Kaplan]

I don't. This is au natural.

[Chick McGee]

It's very nice. You look very nice.

[Mike Kaplan]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And you're lucky. You're. You're not losing your hair. I'm. I mean, I'm. I.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now you identify.

[Tom Griswold]

I do. And that's weird for people to hear because when they see me, they go, oh, yeah, you're bald. But I.

[Chick McGee]

You're balding.

[Tom Griswold]

It took me a while to get used to it. For me, it was very gradual. For somebody who has. And you know who. Just me. They go, oh, no.

[Chick McGee]

Have you seen the new caricature of you?

[Tom Griswold]

It's good, man. I like it.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah?

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I like caricatures.

[Chick McGee]

Hang on a second.

[Tom Griswold]

They're funny.

[Bob Kevoian]

I saw them last night. I. Very subtle differences, but I. I like the latest the most.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, it actually, it. It. It really kind of accentuates the baldness, I think.

[Tom Griswold]

I think it looks pretty real for a caricature, you know, like.

[Bob Kevoian]

I don't know why. I just have one question.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

And it's fine the way it is. I don't want you to spend millions of dollars making any sort of changes. Oh, but can you explain to me why some. Some of us are bigger or we're not in the center anymore. Some of us are up and away and staggered a little bit.

[Chick McGee]

It's. It's a matter of design. You know what I'm saying? You. You.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm trying.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you trying to. It does draw the eye.

[Chick McGee]

Yes. It's kind of a feng shui of post, if you will. Okay, so this is actually. This is not the last. The new one came out. It's in the other room. I had to redo this. Someone wasn't happy. This is the Third one because Mr. Goblin wasn't happy with his. Again, caricature.

[Pat Godwin]

No, I'm fine with it.

[Chick McGee]

So we've. We've redone it, but. Yeah, but you. You look kind of like the guy used to publish Mad magazine. William Gaines.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's good company. I was a big fan of the ec.

[Chick McGee]

The. The glasses.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. He was responsible for Tales from the Crypt and all.

[Chick McGee]

Now we will move forward here are you. Do you appreciate. You do like your caricature?

[Bob Kevoian]

I do. Very much. Yeah. It doesn't look a thing like me. It's very handsome.

[Chick McGee]

It is Extra handsome.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I told P.J. add extra handsome. I know you don't get any complaints.

[Bob Kevoian]

I appreciate it. I like yours too.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, Christie looks delightful. I look like I'm. I've just had a rectal exam that I didn't know was coming.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it's kind of a bummer to ask this, this, but did an artist do that or is it AI?

[Chick McGee]

It was done by an artiste.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, cool.

[Chick McGee]

Of course.

[Bob Kevoian]

Now, was it the artist idea to stagger our images?

[Chick McGee]

No, no, that was the designer. We'll move forward. Here we have Christy Lee at the news desk. We'll let Mike weigh in on various aspects.

[Christy Lee]

Some children in Britain are finding creative ways around online age checks. A new report from the UK based group Internet Matters says more than a third of kids. Kids have bypassed verification systems required under the Online Safety Act. Parents report catching their kids disguising themselves with like fake beards, drawn on mustaches and facial hair. This is great to full technology.

[Chick McGee]

This is going to be Groucho. Glasses are going to be standard issue.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, some of you will doubt this. I have not done any age verification, you know, state by state to look at porn on the Internet. You have to. It varies. I've not done any of it. Is that how it works here too? Where you take a picture of yourself

[Christy Lee]

or do you show your id, driver's license or show your ID or something?

[Bob Kevoian]

The only one I've been up against is you mark a box that you're over 18 and that's kind of the old school. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Which was hilarious.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. So that requires nothing, right?

[Mike Kaplan]

What happened?

[Tom Griswold]

There were 17 year olds out there though, going ah, dang it and hitting the no.

[Bob Kevoian]

Right? I gotta be truthful.

[Mike Kaplan]

It society has rules for a reason. My brain isn't developed yet, so who knows what I'm gonna find out there, right? The mature 17 year old that. That should be. If they say that, be like, you have passed our tests. You may now witness the bounty of sadness.

[Chick McGee]

So I don't understand. So in the United States, do you. You have to, if you want to go to what's the pornhub, right? Do you have to somehow give them driver's age?

[Christy Lee]

You have to prove your age.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know how you verify, but

[Mike Kaplan]

you have to go down to the DMV of porn, just stand in line for an awfully long time, but then you finally get your real passport. You know, be like, you can welcome to this world.

[Chick McGee]

It's not the dmv, it's the dtf. The. Yeah, I don't know. But apparently in England you just got to look old enough.

[Tom Griswold]

That's so funny.

[Chick McGee]

It says they're drawing on mustaches and facial hair to fool the technology.

[Bob Kevoian]

They're so far ahead of us. That's the thing.

[Christy Lee]

Apparently you have to. Here in the States to get on a porn site, as you suggested, you have to upload government IDs, a passport, driver's license. But they do have AI driven facial age estimation or using credit card verification, so I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, so you could do it then.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Do you really want to have your ID on a porn site? No, I.

[Mike Kaplan]

Well, you get some passive income that way. If they start using you in the porn, you know, that's true. Pay your royalties, I doubt if they.

[Bob Kevoian]

Talk about a cottage industry, huh?

[Chick McGee]

I want to go back about an hour.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

I do, too.

[Chick McGee]

Mike, did you take shop class when you were in high school? I did.

[Pat Godwin]

Did.

[Chick McGee]

Did you. What did you build? Do you remember?

[Mike Kaplan]

I. I remember very specifically in high school, I. And I remember I had. In elementary school, I built a bunch of animals with, like, you know, moving arms and things. Like a bunny, like, and like a pig with a watermelon attached.

[Tom Griswold]

Points of articulation.

[Mike Kaplan]

Yeah, with points. Yeah. It was like, you know, they were all like. It wasn't like three dimensional, really. They were like, you know, just flat. Each one was flat, but, you know, from the. From. From the front, you wouldn't be able to see what it was, but from the side you're like, I get what animal they is. But in high school, and even more, I think my mom uses it to this day, it's a clam digger basket

[Chick McGee]

is what it's called.

[Mike Kaplan]

It had sort of like a diagonal handle, and it's like, you know, slats to make, you know, just a basket. And she uses it for magazines.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, great.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

We were talking about what you made an ashtray in. In art class.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. In elementary school, during kiln season. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

The kiln day.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Got this letter from a gym in Grand Ledge, Michigan. My parents are bourbon drinkers, so I took an empty half gallon of Jack Daniels in shop class and turned it into a beautiful lamp. My parents use it to this day.

[Tom Griswold]

How about that?

[Bob Kevoian]

Remember that? When you would take the Chianti bottle and put the candle and melt it.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

But I remember taking. Learning basic electricity and wiring a plug.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, for the.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, we made a lamp. We made a lamp that looked like a Scotty doll. Yes. Out of mahogany. And the. The. The teacher, Mr. Whittell, really his name, he would cut it and then you would spend the semester filing and sanding.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

It was not very rewarding,

[Tom Griswold]

really.

[Chick McGee]

And I don't know if my sister still has one of these things because both my brothers and I, we all did it. But it was little Scotty Dog and you. The tail was the swing switch, but you had to wire it.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

And you, you took a screen, like screen door screen, and. And made the body wrap around the two pieces of wood that you'd made.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember the Breakfast Club? He talks about making the elephant lamp.

[Bob Kevoian]

I can't believe you're telling. I. When I was a kid, I had these 12 inch, like GI Joes were a foot tall.

[Mike Kaplan]

Oh, sure.

[Bob Kevoian]

And there was something called Johnny and Jane west. And they were from the old west and they were cowboys. Who isn't a cowgirl? But they had a Conestoga wagon that came with it. And I wanted to make one, a lamp out of one. So I started the whole thing over. And if you pulled the tongue on the front of the wagon, the light would come on nice.

[Chick McGee]

And it was this looked kind of like a Conestoga wagon.

[Bob Kevoian]

I couldn't believe it.

[Chick McGee]

But yeah. The days of making ashtrays were so similar. Are probably gone.

[Tom Griswold]

Godwin made something in shop that my older brother also made.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, My mom just gave it back to me.

[Ace Cosby]

It's a.

[Pat Godwin]

A package pig cutting board.

[Tom Griswold]

A pig shaped cutting board. My brother absolutely made one of those. So shop teachers also had their greatest hits.

[Mike Kaplan]

It's like a. A diet cutting board. Because every time you look at it, you're like, oh, I'm a pig. I shouldn't eat. Can I also tell you, you mentioned your. Your shop teacher, Mr. Wood. El. Which is pretty fun because of Wood

[Chick McGee]

and what you use in school.

[Mike Kaplan]

He was a craftsman in my high school. Do you know what my. One of my gym teachers was named? I. I'm sorry to let you. This is 100%. His name. Name is Jim Sock.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, no, it's a Jim Sock.

[Mike Kaplan]

It was. He went by James for good reason.

[Chick McGee]

But.

[Mike Kaplan]

But we, we saw through it. We're like, why would.

[Chick McGee]

Why would your parents do that?

[Mike Kaplan]

Why?

[Bob Kevoian]

Sock.

[Chick McGee]

If you were. If you were reading a novel and, and the gym teacher's name, Jim Sock. I did put it down.

[Mike Kaplan]

I'm not going to read it on the nose.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

No. No.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes.

[Mike Kaplan]

Office little mystery.

[Tom Griswold]

Come on.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you very much, Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

He was destined.

[Chick McGee]

What else have you got?

[Christy Lee]

A Florida couple facing felony charges after destroying a neighbor's drone that landed in their yard. Investigators say a man was flying a DJ1 mini 3 Pro.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, how you doing? It's DJ Wood.

[Christy Lee]

When it lost signal over a Port St. Lucy neighborhood and came down in the couple's backyard. Now, when the owner tried to go get it, he was unable to resolve the situation and contacted police. They wouldn't allow. Allow them.

[Bob Kevoian]

So.

[Christy Lee]

Officers say the couple admitted to burning the drone, citing ongoing frustration with devices flying over their property.

[Chick McGee]

We're looking at their mug shots.

[Christy Lee]

The woman. This gets better. Told investigators one drone incident happened while she was outside undressed, claiming the device would hover while she was naked. Both she and her husband now face felony criminal mischief.

[Chick McGee]

This is totally visual, and I apologize. Those people have the same face. If you glued her hair on him and took the goatee off, they're exactly identical.

[Tom Griswold]

Is it illegal to be naked in your own backyard fenced off?

[Bob Kevoian]

I don't think so.

[Mike Kaplan]

I don't know if it's illegal, but I do think if you're outside, you do run the risk of people seeing you.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. Yeah, but.

[Mike Kaplan]

But also, you know, isn't Florida sort of like the one of the stand your ground places? Like if somebody comes onto your property, you are off it. You've People have been gotten off for murdering people. Like murdering human beings, but. But not a drone.

[Chick McGee]

This is the new. This is the new. Hit the baseball over the fence into the neighbor's yard. Yeah, I can see why they'd be upset.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

But.

[Mike Kaplan]

Hey, mister, can you give us our drone back, please? We're trying to spy on your naked wife.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, in that case, having seen that photograph, I'm not so sure I'd want him spy. That's a new crime, I guess. But they're the ones. The people who were. Who destroyed the drone are the ones in trouble.

[Tom Griswold]

Drone rage is. Will be a thing, I guess. Or it is.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Have you gotten the package delivered by the drones yet?

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Have you?

[Christy Lee]

You're going to be the first one.

[Bob Kevoian]

Not yet. I hope so.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

I can't. I can't wait.

[Chick McGee]

I don't need that.

[Bob Kevoian]

I want to see it.

[Chick McGee]

We don't need that in our culture.

[Bob Kevoian]

Sure we do.

[Chick McGee]

No.

[Bob Kevoian]

Faster, bigger, stronger.

[Chick McGee]

Maybe for emergencies with pharmaceuticals or something. But you're gonna be okay if you don't get that new phone case tomorrow.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm old enough to remember six to eight weeks delivery.

[Jeff Oskay]

Absolutely.

[Bob Kevoian]

I've waited my time.

[Mike Kaplan]

I had to walk uphill both ways in the snow to get my phone case. I left, left and wandered the seas. And my wife waited for me back on Ithaca. And I finally Was filmed by the guy who made Memento.

[Chick McGee]

You know,

[Mike Kaplan]

comes coming soon. I'm not here to promote the Odyssey, but.

[Chick McGee]

Right, right, right. Well, I will mention it now, Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, sir.

[Chick McGee]

When you go to your mailbox, do you drive there in your Hyundai?

[Christy Lee]

Do I drive? I do, actually, because my mailbox is way down at the bottom of the driveway.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wait a minute. You drive just because you enjoy driving so much?

[Christy Lee]

I do, yeah. Well, I have a Tucson hybrid. In fact, this is a true story. One of our co workers came in here yesterday and said, how much do you like your car? And I go, I love my car. I'm thinking about getting one. I said, would you like to take a test drive? He goes, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I didn't know he got his

[Christy Lee]

license back in my car. Well, he brought it back brand new, so it looks fine. It's all right, right? But, yeah, the wonderful Tucson hybrid has America's best warranty. And, boy, you can get the best of both worlds in any of the SUVs from Hyundai, because you could also get the Santa Fe hybrid that is a little bit more rugged, has a lot more power to navigate tough terrain. But either one, they're wonderful vehicles. Check them out yourself. The hybrids from Hyundai get the best of both worlds by visiting your local Hyundai Dealer or HyundaiUSA.com. they also have a phone number that has all the information. 562-314-4603. Hyundai.

[Chick McGee]

I have a question. Do you think the first thing that will take over delivery by drone will be food? Do you think it'll be, like, the first time it'll be more common is if it's pizza.

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, don't they.

[Christy Lee]

Wouldn't it get cold being up in the air like that, flying?

[Bob Kevoian]

Don't they have, like, on campuses? I don't know why I think that they have robots. Little robots, little motorized vehicles that deliver pizza. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that takes the plot of every good porno pizza guy. The pizza guy delivering to the sorority

[Tom Griswold]

house, opening the door haphazardly dressed in a robe, and she.

[Chick McGee]

It's a robot.

[Tom Griswold]

So are you.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I think the robot could do the job.

[Mike Kaplan]

You know what I mean? As long as it has age verification. You know, that's why they.

[Jeff Oskay]

Mustache.

[Mike Kaplan]

Yeah. They took the drone down because they didn't see the drone's fake mustache. They were like, oh, you're old enough to see my wife naked. Yeah, that's fine.

[Chick McGee]

When we come back, we're going to delve into the world of history. Mike Kaplan is our guest. He is, by the way, on his way to the famous Acme Comedy Club in Minneapolis. Coming up Wednesday through Saturday. We're coming right Back to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Ace Cosby]

Hey, thanks for listening this morning. Got something to say? Send us an email. Bob and Tom, Bob and tom dot com.

[Bob Kevoian]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios at the News Center. It's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Howdy, Chick.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Bob Kevoian]

Howdy do.

[Tom Griswold]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hi.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick McGee and Tom. Getting a sip of. What do you got over there? Tea.

[Tom Griswold]

You're wetting the whistle.

[Chick McGee]

It is indeed. Tea.

[Bob Kevoian]

Thank you. All right, we got a special guest.

[Chick McGee]

Comedian Mike Kaplan has joined us in the studio. Veteran of the Tonight Show. Do you remember the first joke you told on the Tonight Show?

[Mike Kaplan]

Yes. It was Conan's Tonight show in that rare seven month window.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike Kaplan]

December of 2009. My first late night set of all the ones I would gratefully get to do. And I came out and I said, let's have another round of applause when I'm done.

[Chick McGee]

Well, how many times did you do the late night shows?

[Mike Kaplan]

I, I did that. That was the Conan's Tonight show was number one. I did Letterman three times. I did the Late Late show with Ferguson at least twice. I did it with Corden once and I did Seth Meyers once. Those are the off the top, the ones I remember.

[Chick McGee]

Did you repeat any jokes?

[Mike Kaplan]

I don't believe I did, I think. And then I did Conan's TBS show about five times. Oh, cool. Yeah, over the course of that, between 2009 and 2017, there's like a dozen or so and. Yeah. But different five minutes every time.

[Chick McGee]

You're also way back in the day on last comic standing.

[Mike Kaplan]

Yes. 2010. A different two minutes every week.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Did you already have it ready?

[Mike Kaplan]

You know, at that point? I've been doing comedy since 2002. I recorded my first, you know, so I had my first sort of 45 minutes to an hour in 2009 and then I had a half hour come out on Comedy Central. You know that Comedy Central presents special, which was at that point basically the only, you know, that was half of the album and I didn't have a lot of other material. So when I got to last comic standing, it was all it was. If you watched me on TV anywhere between 2009 and 2010, you were seeing the same jokes a lot over and over. But Most people, you know, only see one thing. There was only. I remember one week on Last Comic Standing. I was like, I think I have two minutes of new jokes that aren't from the album, that aren't from the special. I'm gonna do them. They're good enough. And I did them. And then somebody wrote to me, like, I saw you do these at the Aspen Rooftop Comedy Festival in a video that almost nobody saw except for me. And I was like, my fans are annoying, and I am very grateful for them. Thank you so much for. I'm like. At a certain point, I'm like, oh. I was really. I flipped the script. I sort of reframed it in my head, and I was like, oh, this person likes me. This person. They're mad because they want to see more. They want to see something new. And I'm like, I thought this was. But thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

The stuff that would go on Rooftop Comedy, because I was always thrilled when a video would get. But sometimes it was. You had just said it for the first time, and you didn't necessarily want it.

[Mike Kaplan]

Oh, yeah. That was their business model, was they're like, hey, did you know that there was a camera in your bathroom? And you. You know, like, oh, yeah, we actually. We just need your permission to release this to the world.

[Chick McGee]

So they just would film everything.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, open mics and. Yeah. Shows, all cameras and clubs all over. And I. I liked it. It was. It was cool. But it was also. There were times where you. You could send them a message. Hey, would you mind pulling that?

[Mike Kaplan]

Yeah. Ultimately, they would get, you know, permission was important.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Mike Kaplan is going to be live and in person Wednesday through Saturday at the Acme Comedy Club in Minneapolis. Are you traveling? Are you married?

[Mike Kaplan]

Essentially, not in the way that you might mean legally, like, I don't need the government, but we've been together about 10 years. The special Renee that you mentioned is named for her. Renee, my partner. We created it together. You know, sort of just the fact that she's not a comedian, but she's a funny, you know, intelligent, like, compassionate human being that has helped me and my comedy become better and sort of more various in its viewpoints and such. And so we are together forever. We plan to be together forever. We probably will get married. We don't plan to die. That'd be very sad if one of us died. But, yeah, we are traveling together. And I'm actually gonna be recording a new album, a new hour at Acme called an Alphabet Album at Acme, structured around the Alphabet one hour, 26 jokes.

[Tom Griswold]

Excellent.

[Chick McGee]

Does each joke begin with that particular

[Mike Kaplan]

letter you have gleaned? Then what if I was like, no, just 26 random jokes? Yeah, absolutely. Could. Yeah, you could name a letter. I could tell you what joke it's gonna be X. X is. I got a couple options for that one actually. Tic tac toe, obviously. Did you know in France they don't call it that. I was doing a. Talking about it on stage and these French guys were like, we do not know. I'm doing a perfect accent. We do not know these tic tac toe. We only know croissant, you know? And you know, those are the only things we know. We want to laugh, you know, but. And I explained, I was like, oh, it's with X's and O's and like, oh, we do have this game. We have it.

[Chick McGee]

It is.

[Mike Kaplan]

We call it xoxo. And I was like, that's a much better name for it, obviously. Why. Why would we call it tic tac? Like, you need a. You need a tic tac because your breath smells like toe. I don't know what's going on. So that's X.

[Chick McGee]

I'm not gonna go through the whole alpha. Do you do them in order?

[Mike Kaplan]

I do.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Mike Kaplan]

That's pretty cool. I used to. When I started, I started doing this like a month or two ago, like. Cause I had all the jokes and I was like, I think I have. I can. I just had to reorganize and be like, what ones do I have for X or Q or what have you? But I. I first started doing it asking audience members, letter, would you like. Like this? And then it went way longer because I would have conversations with people and it would go different places.

[Chick McGee]

I did it.

[Mike Kaplan]

I did a version in Chicago a month ago. I did like 80 minutes on stage. Didn't get to the whole Alphabet. I was like, what am I gonna do? I'm like, in order. That's the way. Stop. Stop bringing other people into it. Just do it myself.

[Chick McGee]

That's interesting. The. You wanna have kind of an arc when you do a show. So does this put a lot of pressure on you to make sure that X, Y and Z are the funniest? Haha.

[Mike Kaplan]

You know, X is the X is the one that really has given me the most difficult because of how few words there are that start with it. So there's not a lot of options, but yeah, Y and Z. I'll just give you a brief foreshadowing. Y involves the word you. So I'm like, oh, I get my strongest joke that's about you. You know, and so I feel like for that one, I sort of maneuvered a joke that I already knew was a successful joke into place. And Z, I think part of the idea started because I had a good idea for the way that it would end with Z. But so, yes, I am under a lot of pressure and, and I'm rising to it now.

[Tom Griswold]

When you perform in say, Toronto, do you go. Do you go with Zed?

[Mike Kaplan]

You know, that is a thing. When I, when I was asking people like to name a letter, at one point somebody did say Zed. And I was like, that is unacceptable. We are, you know, hey, this is America. Speak our Alphabet.

[Chick McGee]

So a C is not going to be a Celsius joke.

[Bob Kevoian]

What are you going to do in whole Hawaii

[Chick McGee]

time now for today in history? Let's. We got to get this in quickly. It's June 2nd, May 5th.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, sorry.

[Chick McGee]

I don't even have that in here.

[Christy Lee]

You don't have Cinco de Mayo in there?

[Bob Kevoian]

What kind of list is this?

[Chick McGee]

American, I guess.

[Christy Lee]

Well, it's an American holiday.

[Chick McGee]

Happy birthday, Carl Marks.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, there you go.

[Chick McGee]

The least funny of the Marx brothers.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Yeah. He had some very definite ideas about comedy.

[Mike Kaplan]

But also I think that we should celebrate Karl Marx's birthday every day.

[Chick McGee]

You know, that's.

[Mike Kaplan]

It's only fair. Why. Why is he the only person that gets to celebrate his birthday today, but the least popular?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Remember the, the, the, the. The one of the Marx brothers who ended up in jail for arson.

[Bob Kevoian]

Zippo.

[Tom Griswold]

Sad story.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Happy birthday. Oh. Born in 1903. James Beard.

[Tom Griswold]

Tell us about James Beard.

[Chick McGee]

He was the chef famous award. Yeah, the James. The James Beard award. And much like Frank Beard of ZZ Top didn't have a beard.

[Tom Griswold]

One of life's great ironies.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. Yeah. I've never understand it.

[Chick McGee]

Do you find it odd when you. You go to a place and the. The chef has to have the beard net on?

[Bob Kevoian]

I do and I don't care.

[Christy Lee]

I kind of like it.

[Chick McGee]

You do?

[Christy Lee]

Do you want his beard hair in your food?

[Chick McGee]

I don't know.

[Bob Kevoian]

I don't mind a little hair in my food every now and then. Either do I.

[Tom Griswold]

It means free dinner.

[Mike Kaplan]

The secret is love. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Happy bird Hair on.

[Bob Kevoian]

How much vomit I can drum up.

[Chick McGee]

Born in 1988. Adele. Do you know that she married a farmer?

[Tom Griswold]

Is that right? Now if you saw the two of

[Bob Kevoian]

them, let me tell you right now,

[Chick McGee]

there's a farmer in Adele.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, you went for you went X

[Bob Kevoian]

rated when you, when you said Adele. I. It's a farmer. No, he's not.

[Mike Kaplan]

Now hold on a second.

[Chick McGee]

Did she.

[Mike Kaplan]

She didn't marry.

[Chick McGee]

No, I don't know anything about her. No, she's a great singer.

[Tom Griswold]

All of a singer.

[Chick McGee]

1891, Carnegie hall opens in New York City.

[Bob Kevoian]

How do you get to Carnegie Hall, Josh?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, first you make a left on pine.

[Mike Kaplan]

Can I tell you a quick funny story about that Carnegie hall joke? So a friend of mine, Demetri Martin, you know, wonderful comedian, has a joke about how he used have an apartment across the street from Carnegie Hall. So he's like, whenever people ask me, how do I get to your apartment? I say, practice, practice, practice. And then make a left. And then, and then a friend of mine was telling that joke to his mom and she didn't understand that it was going to be like a twist on the old faith. She's like, I know that one. And he's like, no, Mom. Lizzie's like, no, your old mom knows

[Bob Kevoian]

a little thing or two.

[Mike Kaplan]

He's like, mom, listen, I'm trying to tell you something.

[Chick McGee]

1891 and the first gig was Tchaikovsky.

[Bob Kevoian]

Huh.

[Chick McGee]

Can you spell his first name?

[Christy Lee]

T, S, C, H, P. C, H,

[Chick McGee]

P, Y, O, T, R. T's first name. Oh, P. It was the. I guess it was like the Studio 54 of the 1890s.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, really?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah. Hard to get in. And you'll like this one. Christy Lee. 1940, 41, Coco Chanel releases. Chanel number five still around.

[Tom Griswold]

It's iconic, much like the mambo. It's the most famous.

[Bob Kevoian]

They had a big damn report on Chanel number five and the growing of the. On 60 Minutes this past week, it was Chanel.

[Chick McGee]

Chanel number two. Not successful.

[Mike Kaplan]

No do will I understand Chanel number five if I haven't seen the first four.

[Chick McGee]

You know, some.

[Mike Kaplan]

Rini, my wonderful partner, is a she loves Frank fragrance. It's a special. She has hundreds of. Of, you know, perfumes and colognes and things. I have started wearing some. Not today, but because of her. I now. It's like a whole new dimension. Did you guys know that smell in addition to sight, sound, taste and touch, it's one of the five senses. And it's. I. I'd heard about it, but it's. She's a real frag head is what they call themselves a fragrance head.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. I've never heard frag.

[Mike Kaplan]

Oh yeah, there's a whole. There's a website called Fragrantica. It's basically like Reddit but only for fragrances. Any fragrance that exists. You can go on and read people's thoughts about it. Reviews and all kinds of the whole world.

[Chick McGee]

Writing about sense.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, how about that?

[Chick McGee]

That's gotta be tough.

[Mike Kaplan]

Like dancing about architecture.

[Tom Griswold]

I think I would call my red my subreddit. My two cents.

[Bob Kevoian]

Exactly.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And how it would only be about 2.

[Bob Kevoian]

If you don't put in your 2 cents, how can you expect change?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, let's see. That's pretty much it. Happy birthday. Alan Shepard, the first American in space.

[Tom Griswold]

Of course, allegedly, huh.

[Bob Kevoian]

Did not own any sheep.

[Chick McGee]

And Anna Wintour.

[Christy Lee]

Oh yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Happy birthday. Oh, no, I'm sorry. In 2017 she was made a dame by Queen Elizabeth. Oh, she's the one that always wears the huge sunglasses.

[Christy Lee]

She was at the metal gala. Gala.

[Chick McGee]

She have the shades on?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes, that's her signature.

[Christy Lee]

It could be anybody a problem with maybe she has I I sensitivity.

[Chick McGee]

The sun never sets on the cool. Right?

[Mike Kaplan]

Did you I heard that she's going to be in a a new Game of Thrones spin off. It's called Win Tour is coming.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, I am very much looking forward to it.

[Mike Kaplan]

Should be good.

[Chick McGee]

We are coming right Back to the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Ace Cosby]

Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Get a look at today's show on our YouTube channel,

[Chick McGee]

care.com.

[Bob Kevoian]

hey, welcome back to the Bob and Top Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee at the news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hello. There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, Pat. There's Josh Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi.

[Bob Kevoian]

He's at the IH Steven Singer Sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby.

[Tom Griswold]

Howdy.

[Bob Kevoian]

How do you do? I'm Chick McGee and hello Tom. We've got got a special guest in

[Chick McGee]

the house joining us in the studio. Comedian Mike Kaplan is here with us. He's on his way to Minneapolis, the famed Acme Comedy Club beginning Wednesday evening and running through Saturday. Pat Godwin, by the way, is also going to be up and running May 30 at Shakespeare's in Kalamazoo, Michigan. Yeah, well, that'll be nice. And your father of course was a professor.

[Pat Godwin]

Director.

[Chick McGee]

A Shakespearean director. I wonder are they do they do like a Shakespeare thing night?

[Pat Godwin]

You know, I don't know. I think it's just a fun little.

[Chick McGee]

It'll just be your regular comedy show.

[Mike Kaplan]

Yeah, no Shakespeare bobbleheads.

[Chick McGee]

We are joined by to be announced

[Christy Lee]

Shakespeare have any jokes? And I'm not a Shakespearean.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, Many comedies, but

[Christy Lee]

okay. Like.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I mean, I don't know that you would necessarily consider a street joke, but yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

A lot of yucks.

[Tom Griswold]

No, they can be quite fun.

[Bob Kevoian]

A couple of pies in the face.

[Pat Godwin]

Summer Night's Dream is very funny.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Bottoms. Death scene alone is. Brings the house down.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I see.

[Tom Griswold]

We can go on.

[Chick McGee]

That's okay. Now, Mike Kaplan is working on a new set. A new hour, if you will, that is composed of Alphabet jokes. Alphabet related jokes. One related to each letter, I should say. That's right. I'm not going to torch you and go through the entire Alphabet.

[Tom Griswold]

But you know, I was well into my 20s when I had the epiphany that the Alphabet song is Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

[Chick McGee]

Huh?

[Tom Griswold]

It's the same song.

[Pat Godwin]

Welcome.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you.

[Mike Kaplan]

Is every anyone else learning it right now?

[Chick McGee]

Didn't Barney also that was this old man.

[Pat Godwin]

That's the sold man.

[Mike Kaplan]

It's also Baa Baa Black Sheep as well. Is the Alphabet.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh boy.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, Baba Black Sheep was not big in my house.

[Mike Kaplan]

We were a big Baba Black Sheep house. So I guess you and I cannot be friends anymore.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that two bags full?

[Mike Kaplan]

I think it's three.

[Chick McGee]

Three.

[Tom Griswold]

Three.

[Mike Kaplan]

See, you gotta learn your bags.

[Chick McGee]

Baa Baa Black Sheep. Have you any wool? Yes, sir.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes, sir.

[Chick McGee]

Three bags full.

[Mike Kaplan]

The economy.

[Chick McGee]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

The neighborhood.

[Chick McGee]

Even that

[Mike Kaplan]

tariffs.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wow. You remember the fabulous Robert Conrad vehicle Baa Black Sheep.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, that's television show or movie.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Fly boy. Fly boys.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes, yes. Pappy Bon. I think he. Yeah, that was the name of.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that right?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Mike Kaplan]

Then they did a remake with Chris Farley and David Spade. They dropped the Baa Ba. They just did Black Sheep.

[Tom Griswold]

Right, right.

[Mike Kaplan]

It's one of his movies.

[Chick McGee]

Now we're gonna go back over to the news desk.

[Tom Griswold]

A political thriller, if I remember.

[Chick McGee]

What do you you got over there?

[Christy Lee]

McDonald's is getting rid of self service soda fountains in its restaurants.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm fine. Fine with this.

[Bob Kevoian]

Really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike Kaplan]

You had a privilege.

[Tom Griswold]

We blew it.

[Mike Kaplan]

You blew it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, we absolutely blew it.

[Christy Lee]

The honor system, they announced back in 2023 that it would slowly transition away from self serve soda fountains and dining rooms across the country with a complete phase out expected by 2032. Now, at the time, some owner operators cited food safety, safety, theft prevention and a lack of dine in customers as some of the reasons behind the decision. Now customers are noticing the changes that are rolling out across the U.S. christy,

[Bob Kevoian]

I bet there are far fewer people eating indoors. I mean that's a Drive through world.

[Mike Kaplan]

That's so funny that they're like, look, we're gonna stop letting people get our soda because there aren't any people here. So you're not allowed to get soda if you're not in the building.

[Tom Griswold]

I always find. I always think it's a treat to e. Eat inside of McDonald's.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

See it usually.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

And they got rid of all the gyms. I really liked the.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, like the play places.

[Bob Kevoian]

The place.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I'm sorry. The Mick play place.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Are those. I mean, I haven't seen one of those in a while.

[Tom Griswold]

No. I think. Was it like there were some bacteria issues, weren't there? Didn't we actually.

[Bob Kevoian]

With the balls and stuff. Yeah.

[Mike Kaplan]

Thank God it's only the clean, clean McDonald's food now.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I'm a fan.

[Mike Kaplan]

I, I, I.

[Chick McGee]

There's a website I know where you can look up which ice cream machines are functioning because that's always been a difficult issue at McDonald's.

[Christy Lee]

Isn't that the worst? You pull up, ask for a cone. Oh, I'm sorry. Our ice cream machine's not working today, man.

[Chick McGee]

And they're aware of that. And they've. They've really gone out all the way to try to get that to stop happening. That's why there was.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wasn't there an app? They were going to get up and running to tell you which ones are.

[Tom Griswold]

But it's. And they also said there's plenty of waste with the sodas and messes and stuff. And I. Kaplan's onto something. We blew it.

[Pat Godwin]

This brings back. I'll have a large Coke and no ice. And a cup of ice. You remember that?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

So you get more soda.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, of course they would do that. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

That was a big thing for when I was in high school.

[Mike Kaplan]

You know what I do sometimes? I meet my dad at Dunkin Donuts, and I'll get hot tea and I'll get a large cup of ice, and then I'll make my own iced tea. And then you get so much. I mean, obviously they'll keep giving you water. Like, water is free so far, but yeah, I like a separate cup of ice.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Now, is your mother still with us?

[Mike Kaplan]

Yes. My parents are divorced. Since I was a teenager. They sat me down and said, we're getting divorced. It's not your fault. I was like, I didn't think it was, but now I'm not so sure. Why are we having this conversation? But, yeah. My mom and dad both live in New Jersey about an hour apart. From each other.

[Chick McGee]

Do you have a Mother's Day gift yet for your mom?

[Mike Kaplan]

You know, I'll probably send her a card electronically with some Kindle books. You know, she's a big online reader. She would usually give me like, I'd say like, here's the book that I want and I would go get her the book.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Mike Kaplan]

But now she just gets whatever books that she wants.

[Chick McGee]

I hadn't heard of Kindle books.

[Mike Kaplan]

I mean, I have Kindle.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, you could probably get an Amazon gift card.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, okay.

[Christy Lee]

You can get them on Amazon.

[Mike Kaplan]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

I like the name Kindle book.

[Mike Kaplan]

It's pretty good.

[Chick McGee]

They should have them. Well, coming up, we're gonna have some suggestions for a great Mother's Day gift for your mom out there. But first we go back to Christy Lee at the news desk.

[Christy Lee]

A TikTok creator is going viral for a dish that never really ends. A user known as Zach makes has been documenting a so called perpetual stone stew. He's kept going for over a year.

[Tom Griswold]

This, this doesn't seem like a great idea.

[Christy Lee]

It's over 370 days he's been cooking this perpetual stew. Yeah, he calls it stew at this.

[Bob Kevoian]

Huh?

[Chick McGee]

What?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, stew.

[Mike Kaplan]

How's it spelled?

[Christy Lee]

S T E W T H E U S. Studhius.

[Mike Kaplan]

Yeah, like Prometheus. Yeah, Studhius.

[Chick McGee]

How odd.

[Christy Lee]

He regularly adds new ingredients like salmon, blackberries, lamb shanks.

[Bob Kevoian]

Salmon. Huh.

[Mike Kaplan]

It does sound like like Prometheus was the one, you know, who has punishment from the gods for stealing fire for mortals. He, he was permanent in per. In perpetuity. Like he was like strapped to a rock and a vulture would come and eat out his liver every day. And that goes right in the stew. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And the vulture does too.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, that kept. He keeps simmering continuously and fresh ingredients and liquid are added over time.

[Tom Griswold]

Just looks awful.

[Christy Lee]

Despite how it may sound, Josh, experts say it can be safe to eat.

[Tom Griswold]

And Tom, historically constant stew was sour.

[Chick McGee]

Stew was in Ireland.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You know, that killed people.

[Bob Kevoian]

Because who don't think food is part of the preparation is seeing the food. That looks awful, man.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. As long as it stays at a consistently high temperature, it'll prevent bacterial growth. Francisco Diaz Gonzalez, a Ph.D. and director of the center for Food Safety at the University of Georgia, recommends, quote, that the stew should always be at a temperature greater than 140 degrees Fahrenheit to ensure that it's safe to consume.

[Chick McGee]

You know what's going to. What's this guy's name again?

[Christy Lee]

The guy that's doing it. Zach makes z h. He's going to

[Chick McGee]

get Zachariah, I think eventually from raging a crock pot.

[Christy Lee]

So that would keep it a constant temperature, right?

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, it's just so unnecessary.

[Chick McGee]

Perpetual stew sounds like a bad 80s sitcom.

[Tom Griswold]

Boy, that stew just won't.

[Bob Kevoian]

There's Stu.

[Chick McGee]

He's always on.

[Mike Kaplan]

Perpetual stew.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, he's always on.

[Bob Kevoian]

That's right.

[Chick McGee]

I'm st. Now if you don't get your mom Kindle bucks, you might want to talk to my buddy Steven, Steven Singer, because Steven Singer Jewelers has got just what moms need everywhere. Lots of stuff like jewelry like bracelets, necklaces, etc. Etc. You visit Mr. Singer by going to I Hate stevensinger.com the specialty. Christie's got one right over there. It's an actual rose dipped in gold in 24 karat gold, to be more precise, Stephen Singer. It comes in a beautiful gift box and it's ready to rock. And it's only 89. The sun rise rose is the name of it. A rose dipped in 24 karat gold. As I indicated, it's stunning. And you can get that baby, like I said, for $89 guaranteed. Of course, all the jewelry at Steven Singer Jewelers is guaranteed. And of course he has free shipping. Find out what I'm talking about by visiting ihatestevensinger.com those aren't models posing with the jewelry, etc. Etc. Those are folks that work with them everyday people that are working hard to make sure that you have a great Mother's day for all those moms in your your life. Once again, It's I hate stevensinger.com the sunrise rose in honor of all the moms who get up early at sunrise to help you make your day that much better. So do something nice for your mom out there. Visit I hate stevensinger.com I highly recommend the At Last bracelet, perhaps the At Last earrings or the at last necklaces. It's all there @I hate stephensinger.com we're going to return to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tommy Show.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Christy Lee at the news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hi there. There's Pat Godwin. Hello. Hello. There's Josh Arnold.

[Tom Griswold]

I got the blues so bad.

[Bob Kevoian]

Lord, I'm down. There's a Cosby hey, I'm Chick, McGee and Tom. We have a special guest in the studio.

[Chick McGee]

Joining us in the studio, comedian Mike Kaplan is here with you. Spell your name. Mike. M, Y, Q. Weirdo.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. That's strange.

[Chick McGee]

Is that an actual. On your birth certificate, or is that a. Like a. A rebellious.

[Mike Kaplan]

I'm. I'm glad you asked. So. So my birth certificate says Michael. It's no secret. That's my legal name. I'm an outlaw.

[Tom Griswold]

It also says Kenya

[Mike Kaplan]

on the long form.

[Christy Lee]

It's.

[Mike Kaplan]

Can you believe it? So when I was about 14, Prince changed his name to a symbol for reasons that we were not privy to because of the probably, you know, the contractual obligations that he was under to his record label, but at the time, to this impressionable youth. I just saw a cool artist doing a weird, fun thing, and I'm like, I'm not gonna go that far. So compared to what Prince did, I'm a pretty normal guy. You can still use a regular keyboard. You don't even need to get a new hieroglyphic stamp, you know? And so I was like, I'll be. I was at an artsy summer camp with some friends. I originally was like, I'm just gonna go M, Y, K. I keep the K. And a friend was like, why. Why not go full, you know, bananas, you know, go put a Q in there. I was like, I like that. I still got the M for my. My monogrammed things. Obviously, I don't. I always wonder when. If your name's Robert, but you go by Bob, like, that's my father's name. I'm like, does he get an R? Does he get a B? I'm like, it's M all the way, but the rest of it, you can't see it coming. But, yeah, then I found out a few years later, Prince had a reason for doing it for, you know, record label dispute reasons. And he changed back to Prince. And I was like, well, I'm out here alone now. You know, I'm.

[Chick McGee]

Can you imagine being his manage? You're gonna. You're gonna do what?

[Tom Griswold]

You're gonna.

[Chick McGee]

You're gonna change your name to a symbol that isn't even on a keyboard.

[Mike Kaplan]

Unpronounceable.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. The artist formerly known as Prince, what

[Tom Griswold]

is his real name?

[Chick McGee]

His name real name is Prince Nelson.

[Bob Kevoian]

Rogers Nelson or something.

[Tom Griswold]

Gotcha.

[Chick McGee]

Now, you mentioned initials.

[Mike Kaplan]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Why? Christy, I'll ask you this. No. Do you have initials on your towels?

[Christy Lee]

I do not. My husband has them on his cuffs of his shirts.

[Chick McGee]

Does he have his. Is the Is his last initial the one in the middle?

[Christy Lee]

Yes. And then it's A and an R on the other side of it. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

What's that tradition all about?

[Christy Lee]

I don't know why you have the last name.

[Chick McGee]

So JFK would be J small and

[Tom Griswold]

a small F on the other side

[Mike Kaplan]

of the K. J, K, F. I'm on your side 100%. You know what, it's like this as well. Do you ever look at a movie poster where it's like. Let's say it's like Keanu Reeves and Morgan Freeman. Freeman. But their names are above the other person. So if you don't know who they are, you're like, ah, look. Look at that. Like, you know, distinguished elder black man, Keanu Reeves.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, it's the Crosby mistake.

[Chick McGee]

It's the Crosby. It's the Crosby, Stills and Nash album cover.

[Mike Kaplan]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

That most.

[Christy Lee]

They're not in order on.

[Chick McGee]

They're not in order.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, okay.

[Mike Kaplan]

What order are they in? Is it Crosby, Nash and Stills or Nash, Stills and Crosby? Nash, Crosby and Stills. There's only six possibilities. Which one is it?

[Chick McGee]

Well, the anal retentive hours ending. As your host, I want to be stormed out.

[Tom Griswold]

I must know.

[Bob Kevoian]

I must know.

[Chick McGee]

I take.

[Bob Kevoian]

I take full responsibility.

[Mike Kaplan]

I have what you might call odc. The D is big in the middle, you know. Oh, and the C around it.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. That's our guest, Mike Kaplan, and he's on his way to Minneapolis, the famous Acme Comedy Club. He's also got a couple of specials out there, including Rainy on YouTube right now. But we're gonna go back to the news desk with Christy Lee. What have we missed?

[Christy Lee]

Do you have monogram towels? Do you have those?

[Pat Godwin]

Tom just got married.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah. You know something?

[Tom Griswold]

I think I have towels that just say, arnold.

[Christy Lee]

That's cool.

[Mike Kaplan]

Yeah, I love that. You don't. I also have things in my home that if you ask me about them, I don't know. Like, I have even the things that I own. My girlfriend's like, I know more about that than. Than you do.

[Chick McGee]

So at least the towels we have are absolutely absorbent. There was a time, going back many years I can remember in one of the bathrooms, there was a towel you weren't allowed to use if you washed your hands. What? Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

What's the point of that status?

[Chick McGee]

It had all the absorbency of aluminum foil.

[Mike Kaplan]

Can I tell you, when I was a kid, I read a Mickey Mouse comic book, and there was a scene where Mickey goes to Minnie's house and he goes to sit down in A chair. And she says, no, no, you mustn't sit in that chair. It's an antique. It's very old and delicate, and you. So you mustn't sit in it. And then she's like, and here's an antique mirror. He's like, I know it's very rare, and I mustn't look into it, you know, So I feel like that's what the towel's all about.

[Christy Lee]

There you go. A domino's delivery driver in Missouri is behind bars.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Christy Lee]

After police say he turned a routine pizza delivery into a violent encounter. Oh, boy. The driver allegedly using his car to strike a customer during a heated dispute over not receiving a. Oh. Mr. Zachary Walton, 36, was arrested in

[Tom Griswold]

Fton you ran a guy over.

[Christy Lee]

Facing multiple felony charges including first degree assault, armed criminal action, and leaving the scene of an accident.

[Chick McGee]

I wish I were the judge. I would do a domino themed sentence. Well, you'll be delivering pizzas in 30 years or less. Good luck to you, sir.

[Bob Kevoian]

I, I, I, I'm on that guy's side.

[Mike Kaplan]

Here's a tip.

[Chick McGee]

You run him over. Sure.

[Mike Kaplan]

I mean, people should tip. Yeah, I agree.

[Chick McGee]

But you don't run the guy over.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, bump. You don't want to punch him. You can get in trouble for that.

[Chick McGee]

So, Pat, you're saying it's okay just to ram him slightly? A little dent, a little break the femur?

[Bob Kevoian]

No.

[Christy Lee]

Here you go, Tommy. Police in Altamonte Springs, Florida, arrested a woman she's accusing of vandalizing her neighbor's properties with her. That's right, feces. Residents of the Spring Oaks neighborhood told WKMG that they have discovered what appeared to be fecal matter on vehicles, mailboxes and in yards. Several residents reported finding the material near a shared food pantry in the neighborhood. Over the weekend, a detective witnessed a 50 year old woman defecating in the front yard of her home before taking her into custody.

[Tom Griswold]

What are you looking at?

[Chick McGee]

At her own, at her own place?

[Mike Kaplan]

Yeah, that, that you're allowed to do. Like, you're supposed to just do it on the porch and light it on fire and like, what am I, you know?

[Tom Griswold]

Call me old fashioned, but wow, man, that's rough.

[Chick McGee]

There's something going on, mentally there.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, there's a picture of her. She looks more or less normal.

[Tom Griswold]

She doesn't look like your classic yard dumper.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Mike Kaplan]

This just goes to show you can't judge a book.

[Tom Griswold]

Exactly.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, I think Tom might be able to sway your opinion on that one.

[Chick McGee]

Maybe she owns a car wash I don't know what. She's throwing poop on people.

[Mike Kaplan]

She's trying to drum up business for her car wash. She's pooping like a fox.

[Bob Kevoian]

I see.

[Christy Lee]

We have a story from Snopes this morning. A Florida man arrested after trying to baptize an alligator in a waffle house has been debunked. Last month, you'll recall, maybe social media users began circulating a purported mugshot of a wild eyed man along with the claim that he tried using a pitcher of iced tea to perform the baptism on the reptile.

[Tom Griswold]

Very odd.

[Bob Kevoian]

By gosh, she is wild eyed.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Bob Kevoian]

And.

[Christy Lee]

And is in desperate need of a shower. The post appeared to have been shared by Florida news outlet wfor, but fact checking site Snopes determined that the rumor originated as a satirical post from a comedic social media.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, but who is Snopesing? Snopes? You need to know exactly who Snopes is.

[Mike Kaplan]

The snopesman.

[Chick McGee]

Yesterday my son Sam was telling me he was checking out us. Did you see the photograph or the video of the golden retriever? Retriever being towed?

[Bob Kevoian]

It was amazing.

[Chick McGee]

The golden retriever is on like a sea doo.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yep.

[Chick McGee]

And he's being towed by a guy with a hovercraft.

[Bob Kevoian]

Kind of a.

[Chick McGee]

What would you describe the thing? It.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, it. It's one of those watercraft that come out of the water. There's a hose in the back that makes it like a jet pack.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, it's like a jetpack.

[Bob Kevoian]

The force of the water keeps it levitated.

[Chick McGee]

Jetpack shooting out water. And the guy's towing.

[Bob Kevoian]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

So he immediately thought this has to be fake. So we spent an hour finding out that it's in fact real. So if you Google golden retriever, jet ski, jet pack, the golden looked like

[Bob Kevoian]

for every bit like the golden was steering the watercraft. It was on the jet ski. It was. It was.

[Chick McGee]

He's a golden retriever. He's a good boy. Yeah, he's a good. He's a good doggy.

[Christy Lee]

How do you practice that? That?

[Chick McGee]

I think the dogs just gets on there and he's going, this is cool. And if the dog falls in, I don't know if. I can't remember if the dog had on a life jacket because they do make doggy life jackets. I don't think he did. Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

But yeah, check that out. It's out there flowing.

[Mike Kaplan]

He's like the evil knievel of golden retrievers.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Golden retrieval.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know if he was wearing a sunscreen, but we do have sunscreen in the news? Kind of.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, tell us all about it.

[Christy Lee]

Thank you, Josh. Researchers say beer waste shows potential as a sunset screen. This is a weird story. A study analyzed the photoprotective qualities of hops waste from the brewing process. Spent hops incorporated into sunscreen cream formulations offered more sun protection than hops that hadn't gone through the brewing process.

[Chick McGee]

Spent hops is what I call my knees.

[Christy Lee]

But scientists say there was a time. You see, the research is now needed to validate their findings now. Why?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, who cares?

[Christy Lee]

Who cares?

[Chick McGee]

Well, they're trying to find something to do with all of the upcycling.

[Mike Kaplan]

Sunscreen is very important. I started wearing it just actually about five years ago during. During the pandemic lockdown phase when I wasn't going outside at all. And just after my grandmother, who worked for a dermatologist, died. So all through my life, never wore sunscreen. But Rini, my wonderful partner, she's done a lot of research into it. She's. There's gonna be. This is all the truth. And also there'll be a quick. You know how. Like, so she very. Has a skincare regimen. And, like, very. You know, so she's helped me know, like, after my shower, I do this and then put these things on. And so you know how, like, if you like the. The Grateful Dead, you might be called a deadhead. You know, you might. You like metal. You're a metal head. And so she's really into skincare, so we don't know what to call her.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Mike Kaplan]

But, yeah, sunscreen. I. I wear it. I wear it every day now, even. Even when inside. Even. Because when they say.

[Chick McGee]

They say I should do that, but through the windows. I can't stand it. Through the walls.

[Pat Godwin]

No, I don't like it greasy on your face.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, well, there are totally.

[Mike Kaplan]

There's some that aren't greasy.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Mike Kaplan]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

But they're making it out of beer. Yeah.

[Mike Kaplan]

Then.

[Chick McGee]

So you're. Wait a minute. I figured this out. Your IPA has an ABV and a good spf.

[Mike Kaplan]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

We live in a world of letters. Thank you very much.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, and that. That leads us to Mike Kaplan's. Perfect.

[Mike Kaplan]

I feel so welcome.

[Chick McGee]

Now you. I. I'll tell you what you can do now. You. You have a new piece you're working on, and each piece is centered around a letter of the Alphabet in order. I give you the option. You can do an ipa, an abv, or an SPF letter. Feel free. Which one would you like to do?

[Mike Kaplan]

Oh, absolutely. I Is for incel. Now, as you may know, incel is short for involuntarily sell a bit. And I just feel like if you're an incel, you can say the whole thing out, because what are you doing with your time?

[Chick McGee]

You know what I mean?

[Mike Kaplan]

You've got plenty available. And I was doing this joke in New Jersey a few weeks ago, and a guy said, what is that? And I was like, oh, incel is short for involuntarily celibate. And he said, no, what is celibate? I was like, oh, you don't. And he's like. Then, as if to explain it, he says, I'm an electrician. I was like, I feel like you're still allowed to know what words mean if you're an electrician. And I was. So I explained it in terms that he could understand. I'm like, it's when sparks don't fly.

[Chick McGee]

Very nice. Thank you very much.

[Pat Godwin]

Sold that bit.

[Mike Kaplan]

Thank you.

[Chick McGee]

I like, I enjoyed that very much.

[Mike Kaplan]

I really appreciate my favorite joke.

[Chick McGee]

Mike Kaplan is our guest. And once again, Mike, you're special. You've got a few of them actually out there. The one that I mentioned earlier is on YouTube called rainy. And the other one is where Small,

[Mike Kaplan]

dork and handsome is on Amazon. And then I also do have a dry bar half hour special that's on YouTube now as well.

[Bob Kevoian]

Excellent.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I have a question for you.

[Mike Kaplan]

Yes, hang on a second.

[Pat Godwin]

Thanks, Mike.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

It's a calendar question.

[Mike Kaplan]

I'm ready now.

[Chick McGee]

What do you remember approximately when you filmed your dry bar special?

[Mike Kaplan]

I could tell you exactly. Okay. The timeline.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, please do.

[Mike Kaplan]

Go ahead. Yes, I filmed it in September, early September of 2021.

[Chick McGee]

September 20th. And then when did it air?

[Mike Kaplan]

I believe it came out exclusively on the dry bar platform. Not yet on YouTube. Only available for dry bar, you know, plus customers and such. That was in mid 2023.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, okay. Then Pat's on track.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, over a year ago, I filmed it.

[Mike Kaplan]

Oh, yes. It was absolutely like about a year and half for me. And then it didn't come out on YouTube until 20 November of 2025.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, so they know what they're doing. They've got a whole release schedule.

[Mike Kaplan]

Whether or not they know what they're doing, they're doing the same thing to everybody.

[Chick McGee]

Because, Pat, by the time it comes out, you're going to weigh a hundred pounds less than you did.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I was bigger than that.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I mean, I'm not trying to be mean, but I. You've lost A significant try to be mean.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, it was very little effort.

[Bob Kevoian]

I hate to hear you trying to be mean.

[Mike Kaplan]

In fact, the only thing that was mean about that was you saying, I'm not trying to be mean.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. The day I was giving a friend of mine a. A T shirt because we got. We have these really cool new T shirts. And I said, no, are you a. You try to be. Are you a. An XL or.

[Tom Griswold]

Or a double xl Maybe the nice way would be, what size would you like?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, yeah. Instead of.

[Tom Griswold]

You can even say, what size would

[Mike Kaplan]

you like, Mike, how large is your shame?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, how gross are you?

[Chick McGee]

He said there's this.

[Bob Kevoian]

What do you weigh, about four bells?

[Christy Lee]

If he says, I wear a medium, I will.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, he's. He's not a weightlifter. By the way, when are the gym guys gonna cut it out? We know you're jacked. Don't wear a medium when you're a triple xl.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I say, you did all that work. Show it off.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, no. I saw a guy bursting out of his shirt.

[Tom Griswold]

He works hard for that.

[Bob Kevoian]

People know what size shirt he wears.

[Chick McGee]

Looked ridiculous. But. So anyway, my friend said, it's imma double xl. But he looked at me. He goes, I'm a fatty. Fat, fat, fat, fat. Just. Is he quoting you, Josh?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, but he was a very nice guy, very helpful.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you believe he was nice and fat?

[Mike Kaplan]

I mean, that's actually why he's so nice. You're supposed to be jolly is the rule.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, mean. Who likes a mean fat guy? Well, I think we've done our work today, but we're not done now. Let's just say you own a home.

[Bob Kevoian]

I own a home.

[Christy Lee]

I own a home.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, you do. And you do, too.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Now you do, Ace. You do do, Josh. I do. The point is, if you own a house, you probably.

[Tom Griswold]

I rent.

[Mike Kaplan]

I also rent.

[Chick McGee]

Well, I'm sure things will lose quiet if they ever release that thing. Maybe you can buy out. The point is, you probably are aware that most houses in the United States have gone up in value. They've truly skyrocketed. I don't think there's ever been a situation where housing has gone up in price as quickly as it has. The point of this is, let's just say you don't want to sell your house, but you sure would like to take advantage of the fact that it's worth more. This is where you can tap into that equity. One of the ways to do that is to visit our friends at American Financing and What they do is they can do a refi and hand you a nice check. And the idea of that would be, I don't know, pay off those high debt credit cards you've got that you're paying 20 plus percent interest on or perhaps maybe get some new kitchen appliances. Whatever it is you want to do with the cash, your home is worth a lot more than it was and you can take advantage of that. The folks that actually know what they're talking about in this sphere will be the folks at American Finance. And this is what they do. And in about 10 minutes you can have a quick conversation with them and they can tell you if this might work for you, doesn't work for everybody, but it might be convenient for you. And they have a thing going on right now that they in some cases can delay two mortgage payments. So you may be able to get your head above water and breathe a little easier. Right now the average customer and the average client at American Financing is saving about 800 bucks bucks a month after doing a refi. So get the details from the folks that are the experts. American financing.net you can call them at 866-889-2611. And I always like to say it's pretty hard to remember a phone number on the radio. So just go to american financing.net and check in with them. Please add a slash. Bob and Tom when you go there. That'll help us and it'll help you. Once again, that's americanfinancing.net nmls182334 nmlsconsumeraccess.org apr for rates in the fives started six point for well qualified borrowers. Call 866-889-2611. For details about credit costs and terms, visit american financing.net bobandtom average savings based on borrowers who save over $200.

[Ace Cosby]

Just gotta get a hold of us. Call, text or email. Get all the contact information you [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Bob Kevoian]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. In the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios at the news desk, it's Christy R. Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hi. There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hello, Pat. There's Josh Arnold.

[Pat Godwin]

Hi.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey, man. There's Ace Cosby. Hey, I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, Chick McGee. With us in the studio, comedian Mike Kaplan. There he is, a man who was traveling with his lady friend. Did you refer to her as your partner? Yeah. See, that sounds like a business arrangement.

[Mike Kaplan]

Girlfriend?

[Chick McGee]

Girlfriend's better.

[Mike Kaplan]

Here's you know what? I.

[Chick McGee]

Even though I'm sure she's of age,

[Mike Kaplan]

clearly she is about to. Her birthday is this week. She will be turning 43. I am 47. We're in our same decade, so that works out. When we, when I turn 50, we'll have to stop. But, you know, not. Not allowed to go across decades. But, you know, here's on this subject of. Of course, girlfriend, boyfriend. You know, we're. We're a man and a woman. Right. But those terms are the man friend and woman friend. Seem that that's not the way. But I, I always like to think about, you know, Lenny Bruce. The influential, the famous Lenny Bruce once said a thing that I really liked. He said, I'm not a comedian, I'm Lenny Bruce, you know, meaning that he's. He's not merely a comedian, he's transcending it. Like, you don't go just to see a comedian. You're going to see Lenny Bruce. That's who he is. So Renee and me, Mike and like, we are not boyfriend and girlfriend. We are Lenny Bruce.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that works out. That makes, makes. Makes perfect, perfect sense. We have Christy Lee right over there. Patrick, maybe we should get a song out of you. Okay, maybe.

[Christy Lee]

What do you want to sing about?

[Bob Kevoian]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Why don't you.

[Chick McGee]

Can you do one of the songs that you do in your dry bar special?

[Pat Godwin]

That's pretty much the last album I could, if you'd like.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yes.

[Mike Kaplan]

We haven't.

[Chick McGee]

We haven't heard one of the old ones in quite a while. Might be fun. Might be fun for Mike. Mike Kaplan does have a dry bar special floating around out there, among other things, including his new YouTube piece called Rainey, dedicated to his quote unquote girlfriend. Yes, Lenny Bruce.

[Pat Godwin]

I'll do the title song. Hotel pool.

[Bob Kevoian]

Hey.

[Pat Godwin]

I took my son on many trips Cars, planes and big old ships I got him check out the sights Thought he'd think they're cool he seen Niagara Falls stood and stared at Mount Rushmore but he didn't care he says, dad, does the hotel have a pool? These are the questions that he asks Is there a vending machine with snacks? Can I connect my phone to the TVs HDMI? Son, you're off from school. Let's be tourists and not be fools he said, dad, does the hotel have a pool? Yes, son, the hotel has a.

[Mike Kaplan]

I

[Pat Godwin]

took my boy to Mexico on the flight out. Away we go. We're going deep sea fishing where the bass is so much larger. I'm Trying to spend some quality time. The ocean water is so sublime. He says, dad, I lost my apple charger. My iPad's almost dead. These are the things that my son said. I want to play Minecraft in the room all alone. Ah, son, don't be a tool. He says, dad, don't be cruel. And by the way, does the hotel have a pool? I said, yes, the hotel by the ocean has a pool. He says, salt water burns my eyes. There are sharks every shape and size and probably a jellyfish or two. And I hate the sand. Let's skip the beach and hit the hotel pool.

[Mike Kaplan]

Ah, yes, I love that. Can I?

[Chick McGee]

So true. It's so true, though. When you were a kid, remember that?

[Mike Kaplan]

100%. And I loved it. And don't take this as a critique to say that I didn't enjoy it at all, but do sharks really come in all shapes and sizes?

[Pat Godwin]

They do not.

[Mike Kaplan]

They're generally one shape shark.

[Christy Lee]

And do you Deep sea fish for bass.

[Chick McGee]

Mike Catering. Categorically incorrect. You've got your hammerhead shark.

[Mike Kaplan]

That's true. That is a different shape.

[Chick McGee]

That is not the same shape.

[Mike Kaplan]

So I'm.

[Jeff Oskay]

You're out.

[Mike Kaplan]

It's not all shapes.

[Chick McGee]

Your career as a critic is over.

[Bob Kevoian]

I for one, am glad we finally touched on this subject.

[Tom Griswold]

And if you look from eyes back, it's a shark. The hammerhead, it's. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You're defending that absolutely ridiculous point.

[Tom Griswold]

He's totally right.

[Chick McGee]

Absolutely wrong. Pat, your song is fine.

[Christy Lee]

Song is wonderful.

[Tom Griswold]

Sharks would be better off if they came in all shapes and sizes. They would. There'd be more of a surprise factor.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I got a surprise factor for you.

[Mike Kaplan]

The shark should sing a different song as well. All it's like D. Then you know to run.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, in Pat's defense, it's his child saying that.

[Mike Kaplan]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

In the song. And so he doesn't know.

[Mike Kaplan]

Your kid's so stupid.

[Bob Kevoian]

Of course.

[Chick McGee]

You got a song. Wait a second. You got a song that has the words HTML in it?

[Bob Kevoian]

Home.

[Chick McGee]

Home run.

[Mike Kaplan]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

That's a challenge right there. Nice job.

[Pat Godwin]

Thanks.

[Chick McGee]

Well, and well, I hope that's not too dated when your dry bar special comes out in 2032, people still know animation.

[Pat Godwin]

HDMI.

[Chick McGee]

What did I say? HTM, H2O.

[Bob Kevoian]

HDMI.

[Chick McGee]

VIP, HDTV.

[Mike Kaplan]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

HDMI is in the song.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, very.

[Bob Kevoian]

HTML is a website.

[Chick McGee]

Whatever it is, it's in the song. It's excellent.

[Tom Griswold]

And well, at least you're paying attention.

[Mike Kaplan]

People already aren't understanding.

[Chick McGee]

You think all sharks are the same shape.

[Bob Kevoian]

You know what? Today's show has been really awful.

[Chick McGee]

But at least it was long.

[Bob Kevoian]

But it was long.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you. Thank you very much. These are the Riley Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Ace Cosby]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning even though we're not too much to look at. You can also watch the show on our YouTube channel.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, Mama. Thanks for making all my favorite recipes.

[Mike Kaplan]

Hi, Ma.

[Bob Kevoian]

Thanks for your unfiltered advice.

[Christy Lee]

Hi. Hey, Mom. Thanks for always being by the phone.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, Mom. Happy Mother's Day. When you ship UPS Air at the

[Christy Lee]

UPS Store, your items arrive on time

[Chick McGee]

or your money back guaranteed at no extra cost. Exclusively at the UPS store US retail locations. Visit theupsstore.com airshipping for full details. Terms and conditions apply. Send your Mother's Day gifts at the

[Mike Kaplan]

UPS store and we'll get your gratitude there on time.