The BOB & TOM Show - May 8, 2025

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show - May 8, 2025: Detailed Summary

Broadcast Date: May 8, 2025
Hosts: Chick McGee, Tom Griswold, Josh Arnold
Network: Cumulus Podcast Network

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1. Welcome and Opening Banter

The show kicks off with the usual camaraderie among the hosts. Chick McGee introduces himself and his band, setting a lighthearted tone for the morning's discussions.

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2. Carb Day Poster Redesign with Puppets

Timestamp: [05:15]

Tom Griswold unveils the redesigned poster for the upcoming Carb Day event, emphasizing collaboration with Java House. The new poster features puppets representing the show's team members, including Chick, Josh, Jeff, and Pat Godwin.

Notable Quote:

"I made a poster here and it’s got like a little car. Looks like a race car. Yeah, it’s got the Java House logo on it."
— Tom Griswold [06:00]

Pat Godwin's Musical Interlude: Pat becomes animated, playfully criticizing the puppet's inaccurate depiction of his eyebrows, leading him to compose and perform a humorous song highlighting the changes. His performance adds a creative and entertaining segment to the broadcast.

Notable Quote:

"I see a poster and my eyebrows, they aren't black they are as white as snow like two big rails of crack... Make me look like a real stud up Rock and roll star."
— Pat Godwin [08:20]

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3. Upcoming Carb Day Broadcast Announcement

Timestamp: [10:45]

Tom announces a special Carb Day broadcast scheduled for May 23rd, highlighting exclusive content and surprises for listeners. The segment underscores the show's partnership with Java House, the official coffee sponsor.

Notable Quote:

"Java House is revolutionizing the world of coffee, starting right here in our studios."
— Tom Griswold [06:17]

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4. Sports Updates

Timestamp: [16:10]

The hosts delve into current sports events, focusing on the intense playoff battles:

• Celtics vs. Knicks: The Knicks overcome a significant deficit to beat the Celtics, sparking discussions about potential Eastern Conference finals matchups.
• Oklahoma City Thunder vs. Denver Nuggets: A surprising blowout where Oklahoma City overwhelms Denver, leading to frustration among Thunder fans.

Notable Quote:

"Oklahoma City was ahead 87 to 56 at halftime and ended up winning 149-106."
— Chick McGee [47:32]

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5. Interview with Comedian Al Jackson

Timestamp: [102:07]

Al Jackson joins the show via satellite, sharing insights into his comedic style and experiences. The conversation touches on his preference for always being dressed formally, even at home, and his thoughts on maintaining professionalism while on tour.

Notable Quote:

"I'm transitioning into my older black man butterfly face."
— Al Jackson [103:26]

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6. Interview with Race Car Driver Ed Carpenter

Timestamp: [126:03]

Ed Carpenter discusses his preparations for the upcoming 109th Indianapolis 500, highlighting the introduction of a new hybrid engine. The conversation explores the balance between speed and safety, as well as the challenges of race day logistics.

Notable Quote:

"If you don’t outdrive it, you’re going to have to deal with a lot of parts replacements."
— Ed Carpenter [127:10]

Additional Highlights:

• Race Preparations: Ed explains the impact of the hybrid engine on car performance.
• Sim Racing: The discussion includes the use of advanced simulation tools for training.
• Special Moments: Ed recounts giving Vice President Pence a ride in his race car, showcasing his versatility and camaraderie.

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7. Interview with Comedian Tom Papa

Timestamp: [115:58]

Tom Papa joins the show to discuss his life on the road as a stand-up comedian. He shares anecdotes about staying in hotels, managing performances, and balancing personal life with touring.

Notable Quote:

"I spend usually the first five minutes just kind of lying that I've been walking around town all day."
— Tom Papa [117:35]

Highlights:

• Touring Life: Insights into the challenges and humorous aspects of being constantly on the move.
• Comedy Condos: Reflections on staying in shared accommodations and encountering quirky situations.
• Baking Passion: Tom mentions his interest in bread baking, adding a personal touch to the interview.

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8. Unusual News Segments

Timestamp: [147:32]

The show features several offbeat news stories, adding to the comedic and eclectic flavor of the broadcast:

• Iguana Egg Consumption: A Florida man turns iguana eggs into culinary delights, addressing invasive species humorously.

  Notable Quote:

  "I cook up iguana eggs much like you would a chicken egg... before whipping them into an omelette with diced ham, peppers, and onions."
  — John Johnson [152:02]

• Sex Toy Collaboration: Elena St. James becomes the oldest woman to have her likeness turned into a Fleshlight, blending pop culture with adult humor.

  Notable Quote:

  "57-year-old OnlyFans model Elena St. James will have a replica of her mommy parts made into the pleasure device for men."
  — Christy Lee [87:02]

• Bison Attack in Yellowstone: A man is gored by a bison after approaching it too closely for a selfie, underscoring wildlife safety.

  Notable Quote:

  "Authorities report that bison will defend their space when threatened and have injured more people in Yellowstone than any other animal, including grizzly bears."
  — Christy Lee [141:53]

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9. Home Security and Insurance Promotions

Throughout the show, there are segments promoting sponsors:

• Simplisafe Home Security: Chick McGee details Simplisafe's advanced security features, emphasizing AI-powered cameras and live professional monitoring.

  Notable Quote:

  "If you have a lurker, agents from Simplisafe can see and talk to them in real time, turn on spotlights, and even call the police before they have a chance to get inside your house."
  — Chick McGee [31:43]

• Silac Insurance: Promoted as a solution for financial stability, focusing on annuities and lifetime income, albeit with humorous misstatements by Tom.

  Notable Quote:

  "You can't outlive your money with Silac Insurance's lifetime income plans."
  — Tom Griswold [154:33]

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10. Closing Remarks and Upcoming Features

As the show winds down, the hosts tease upcoming interviews with comedian Tom Papa and race car driver Ed Carpenter. They also highlight the next special Carb Day broadcast, promising more entertainment and exclusive content.

Final Notable Quote:

"We have a special broadcast coming up on May 23rd, brought to you by Java House. It'll be fun with treats and surprises."
— Tom Griswold [87:06]

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Conclusion

This episode of The BOB & TOM Show weaves together humor, interviews with notable guests, sports updates, and unconventional news stories. The hosts maintain their signature banter while delivering engaging content that appeals to a broad audience. Promotional segments for sponsors like Simplisafe and Silac Insurance are seamlessly integrated, enhancing the show's dynamic flow.

Overall Notable Themes:

• Humor and Creativity: Through puppet redesigns and musical interludes.
• Guest Insights: Providing unique perspectives from comedians and a race car driver.
• Unconventional News: Adding an intriguing mix of quirky and bizarre stories.
• Community Engagement: Encouraging listeners to participate in upcoming events and promotions.

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This summary encapsulates the primary discussions and highlights from The BOB & TOM Show episode aired on May 8, 2025, offering a comprehensive overview for those who haven't tuned in.

Transcript

[Chick McGee]

Lowes knows a thriving yard starts with quality care. Right now get Miracle grow 3/4 cubic foot all purpose garden soil for just $2. Was $4.58. Plus get a free Select EGO 56 volt trimmer or blower with the purchase of a Select EGO 56 volt mower. The best yard starts with the best deals. Lowes we help you Save valid through 514. Excludes Alaska and Hawaii.

[Tom Griswold]

Selection varies by location while supplies last. Hey, Lonzo Ball, it's your agent.

[Pat Godwin]

What's up?

[Tom Griswold]

I've got a commercial opportunity for you from Buzzball's ready to go. Cocktails. Nice. My last name is Ball. Their product is a cocktail in a ball. I get it. That's what I thought too. But no.

[Chick McGee]

They want you for your hands.

[Tom Griswold]

They think your big hands will show off the size of their new blue biggies. Ball.

[Josh Arnold]

Big blue balls.

[Chick McGee]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

Get blue balls this season with Buzz Balls. Please check responsibly. Buzz Balls.

[Tom Griswold]

Available in spirit, wine and malt. 15% Alco Bavo and Buzz Balls, LLC. Carroll.

[Chick McGee]

It'S the Bob and Tom Show. Hello, Everybody. I'm Chick McGee and this is my band, the Chick McGee Experience. Hello, ladies.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Mr. McGee.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, please, girls, after last night, I preferred if you call me Chick.

[Tom Griswold]

What? How?

[Chick McGee]

Talking about. Never mind. All right, everybody, stand back. Time to get ready. Let's get funky, get freaky. You know that I. I love to sing about that stuff. So sweet and nasty. But since I did my last record, I've had the occasional angioplasty. Now, ladies, don't you be concerned. There's no need for mass hysteria. Cause when it comes to getting pudding, I've never had a problem in that area.

[Pat Godwin]

Chick, you are a nasty boy. Bring the ladies lots of joy. Biggest stuff we've ever seen. Chick, you're a sex machine.

[Chick McGee]

Gimme a whiff. Right on. Solid.

[Tom Griswold]

Still stanky.

[Josh Arnold]

Reaching, reaching.

[Chick McGee]

Groping. Wow. Probing, probing. Cursing, cursing. I'm jumping, I'm pumping. Is that your leg I'm humping?

[Pat Godwin]

Some parox will get out this thing.

[Tom Griswold]

What's his name?

[Chick McGee]

All right, ladies, it's time for the chickster to hit the dance floor. I'll show you the move I taught James Brown back in 63. Oh, wait a minute. I think I may have hurt myself. Oh, boy. I'm not kidding. I'm not entirely well, you know, I. I feel rather faint. Does anyone have any nitro? Can somebody please call 91 1? Oh, my chest is beginning to tight.

[Ed Carpenter]

Oh.

[Chick McGee]

I can't get my. Oh, man, is It. It's really hot in here.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, boy.

[Chick McGee]

Mr. Griswold, this is wonderful, all these musicians, but it's really starting to hurt. Mr. Mr. Griswold.

[Pat Godwin]

He's cranky and whining.

[Tom Griswold]

He kisses. Tom's hiding. What's his name.

[Chick McGee]

I'm not faking this, you know. Well, now you think it's funny. Not funn.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello?

[Chick McGee]

Hello? The singing from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Why I didn't jump in. It's the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Tom Griswold]

Like the shirt, Christy? Very flowery. Spring like cheerful and nice. I don't know why you wore it here. That's not going to be part of the attitude today.

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Tom Griswold]

Pat wore really ugly green, so that'll be Christie's. Nice shirt. Well, you know what?

[Chick McGee]

It is an ugly green.

[Tom Griswold]

One ugly color.

[Chick McGee]

That is one ugly.

[Tom Griswold]

I hope someone gave you that.

[Chick McGee]

Hi, Josh.

[Tom Griswold]

That'll make a nice. That have been a nice rag to wash my car pay for this.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, Jeff. It's a fine chicken here. Evidently didn't do any. Any work on yourself yesterday between yesterday's show. Today, he's pretty much the same.

[Tom Griswold]

Here's.

[Chick McGee]

Here's Tom. Hi, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

That's genuinely ugly. Okay, well, I got a little bit of an attitude about Pat because of that. It wastes a lot of time yesterday thanks to Pat.

[Pat Godwin]

Well, I like things. Right.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, well, I'm going to demonstrate something for everybody. We have a very special event coming up. Much like the day before the Kentucky Derby is a great day to be at Churchill Downs. Huge crowds, lots of fun.

[Christy Lee]

Now the Oaks or something.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. Now the day, the Friday before the 109th running of Indianapolis 500 this year, like many Fridays before the 500 is known as Carb Day. We're doing a special broadcast for Carb Day and I spent a great deal of time working with PJ creating our poster for Carb Day, by the way, brought to you by our friends at Java House, the revolution in American coffee. Thank you.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, it's a revolution.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, so as you can see, I made a nice. I don't know if you can see this on the camera. I made a poster here and it's got like a little. Little car. Looks like a race car. Yeah, it's got the Java House logo on it. It's a Splenda. Then I saw Sweetener. I'm a big fan. Then it's got everybody's little puppet face. Remember, I had puppets made of everybody.

[Christy Lee]

I wondered what happened there.

[Tom Griswold]

So you can see Willie G. You can see Chick. Josh. I'm right there. Jeff. Oscar is there. There's Ace. There's Christie.

[Chick McGee]

I would think it'd be hard to have any sort of criticism about a poster like that.

[Tom Griswold]

So I do this thing, and it's got this little funny. For the greatest spectacle in radio. Yeah. We don't really toot our horn much, but it says it's kind of a play on the. The greatest spectacle in racing.

[Christy Lee]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

Kind of a fun thing. So I get that. We spent many hours making this. I went to the printer. I had a technical issue. But fortunately, my Buddy Sean at FedEx is. He's a miracle worker, this guy. He got it all organized for me. So I get this whole thing. I post a bunch of them, and then. Can you see this, Mr. Oscar? Yeah. And then Pat goes. My puppet has white eyebrows. I don't have white eyebrows.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Griswold]

So, I mean. And this is 11 layers of. I don't want to get too technical, but on the computer, this is a lot of work to get this thing set up.

[Chick McGee]

Timeout. Did this really happen?

[Tom Griswold]

So, as you can see, I did the new one now yesterday, and the puppet of Pat now has black eyebrows.

[Pat Godwin]

That's right.

[Christy Lee]

Are you kidding me?

[Pat Godwin]

No, I'm not kidding you, Pat.

[Josh Arnold]

You were not the only one to say something about your. The way your puppet looked on the puppet.

[Tom Griswold]

I know.

[Josh Arnold]

One of our top design people asked, what happened to you? I know.

[Tom Griswold]

I look really.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I see.

[Pat Godwin]

Yes, it's all in the details now.

[Chick McGee]

I had my picture redone only because I look like what's her name? From Mimi from the Drew carriage.

[Tom Griswold]

The last big poster we did.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I had to redo because Chick didn't like his picture. Right.

[Chick McGee]

That's the short version, but that was.

[Tom Griswold]

Without getting too technical. That one was a little easier because this is 11 layers of. Whatever you call it, computer stuff. And I have to sit there and tell PJ to stop drawing pictures of female breasts and get back to work. By the way, it's amazing what he can do with AI if you look to see any woman naked. Well, no, I'm sorry. Never mind. So we got that done for you, Pat. I hope you're happy.

[Pat Godwin]

I am very happy. In fact, it inspired me to write a song. I'm so happy.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Did it now?

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I could do it for you whenever you.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, you do it right now. I'd love to hear. This is going to require the guitar. Okay, once again, Mr. Pat Godwin on guitar.

[Pat Godwin]

I see a poster and my eyebrows, they aren't black they are as white as snow like two big rails of crack. My brows are black, not white so please do it right. Looks like I aged a hundred years overnight. I see Josh Arnold. His hair's brown as brown can be. Even though his hair is green, so is his goatee. I'm called a D because I like things a certain way. Just get the damn thing right. My eyebrows aren't turning gray. And please thin me out a little. I look like fat Jack Black. Make me a little taller With a huge bulge in my slacks. Give me a jawline and a pretty black guitar. Make me look like a real stud up. Rock and roll star. I see a poster and my eyebrows, they aren't black. Maybe I should just shut up or Tom will get another guitar axe.

[Tom Griswold]

There we go. Well, here's the. The all new poster. And we'll get this.

[Christy Lee]

I want to see the before and after.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll get the. Well, here's. Here's Pat with the black eyebrows the.

[Pat Godwin]

Way I should be in my natural habit.

[Tom Griswold]

Now these are. We had these. These are real puppets. I should ever explain that I had real puppets made and the.

[Christy Lee]

The real puppet have gray eyebrows.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I'll have to know. I'm gonna have to get the puppet to get Caterpillar. Yeah, get our guy that designed the puppets too.

[Chick McGee]

And there's a felt, short, black in the. I don't think we see the puppets enough.

[Tom Griswold]

Hang on a sec.

[Chick McGee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

Is there a tariff on felts?

[Chick McGee]

Probably.

[Tom Griswold]

These are going to cost me 150 more percent. I'm going to go with American felt. By God. We're going to build some factories.

[Chick McGee]

I heard there was a shortage of felt.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, good.

[Chick McGee]

I don't think we see the puppets enough. I miss the puppets. We need new puppet stuff. I like the puppet.

[Tom Griswold]

We haven't done the puppets in a long time, but they are on the poster.

[Chick McGee]

I like saying puppet.

[Tom Griswold]

So there you go. Now, I guess I should put a cap on this. We will be doing a very special broadcast coming up on May 23rd. It's a Friday. It'll be fun. We've got some treats for you and some surprises. And it's brought to you by our friends at Java House.

[Chick McGee]

We'll have. We'll have treats. Is that what you said?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. Oh, you didn't. You're not aware of that?

[Chick McGee]

No, no, no. It's just an odd way to put it. I think you've just jumped to everyone who's not you in your life.

[Tom Griswold]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

Is a dog your kids, us listeners?

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, I like my dogs.

[Chick McGee]

I'm gonna give. I'm gonna give everybody a treat.

[Tom Griswold]

But no, you forget that I'm fond of my dogs.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I heard you the first time.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, okay, Good, good.

[Chick McGee]

Very funny.

[Tom Griswold]

Had a good dog day yesterday, by the way. The boys are in pretty good shape.

[Christy Lee]

Good.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. One of them is in the dog house, if you will.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that seems correct.

[Tom Griswold]

Chewed on a curtain. Oh, by the way, the boss lady doesn't know about that yet.

[Pat Godwin]

How are you hiding it?

[Tom Griswold]

You. If I kind of tucked under the curtains are just a little long.

[Christy Lee]

Don't say anything.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm gonna have to have a seamstress come over and discreetly.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I don't. Look, I'm. I'm. We're concerned about the dog getting.

[Chick McGee]

If you had a curtain problem, Josh, would your reflect immediately be to contact the seamless?

[Josh Arnold]

It certainly would. You know, every time.

[Chick McGee]

What's wrong with him?

[Josh Arnold]

Every morning I feel like.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Vanderbeek in Varsity Blues. I want to look at Tom and go, I don't want your life.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the way to live.

[Chick McGee]

That's what's always.

[Josh Arnold]

Always.

[Chick McGee]

He's just an enigma wrapped in a riddle. He's just the freest with advice, knows how everything goes. And his life is a mess in a car wreck at the bottom of the ocean.

[Tom Griswold]

And. And I've got to get a new seamstress.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, boy, that's. That's a real problem.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, no, I mean.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I do.

[Tom Griswold]

The person I've been using is. Wait a minute.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Why is she far too busy? Because you use her for everything else in your life.

[Tom Griswold]

She's been promoted.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, he said try not. Try not to dwell on how crazy Tom is. Do we? Have you seen the new hurricane? Names are out.

[Christy Lee]

Hurricane?

[Chick McGee]

No, I just got the email now. Yeah, all the names.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, can we come back with this? Yeah, okay, well.

[Chick McGee]

2025Storm names, it says.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, now listen. What do we got? What is today? Thursday.

[Christy Lee]

Thursday.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, boy.

[Tom Griswold]

Better act soon because. Well, you might want to get these for Father's Day. Now, the Raycon earbuds, they're the best.

[Chick McGee]

Absolutely. Raycon everyday earbuds are brand new with 32 hour battery life. Multi point connectivity lets you pair two devices at once. And Raycon has a quick charge function, just 10 minutes. On the old charger, you get 90 minutes of battery. And they also come with active noise. Cancellation often difficult to find at an accessible dad friendly price point. Raycon's everyday earbuds are available in a variety of vibrant colors to match your dad's vibe. And Raycon also offers a 30 day happiness guarantee return policy with no questions asked. And right now we got a deal for you. Of course. Up to 15% off site [e-mail] Tom that's up to 15 off site wide. Buyraycon.com Tom that'S buyraycon.com Tom Depth testing.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, sorry. Coming up we have comedian Al Jackson, comedian Tom Papa. Every time. I always want to sing that Bob Seger song come to Papa. Anybody know Bob Segers fans? That's fine artist.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Plus race car driver Ed Carpenter telling us what it's like to go more than 200 miles an hour with a concrete wall right over there. Looking forward to all these things. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Get in the zone. AutoZone.

[Josh Arnold]

Annie's first oil change wasn't as hard as she thought because she went to.

[Tom Griswold]

AutoZone where a friendly AutoZoner helped her.

[Josh Arnold]

Find the right oil and save on an oil filter. He explained the job and showed her.

[Tom Griswold]

Free how to's on autozone.com when she was done, Autozone recycled her old oil for free. No hassles, just help.

[Pat Godwin]

Everything you need, nothing you don't.

[Josh Arnold]

Get in the zone. Autozone restrictions apply.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. At the SILAC insurance news desk, it's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, chicken.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

He's at the I hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. There's Jeff OSKAY. I'm Chick McGee. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Thank O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. And here's Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Christy just pointed out something fairly interesting. In any given moment on the show, at least one of us is acting professional. Now that's usually true.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, usually, usually yesterday's show. Well, maybe a little bit different. At this point in our program, what we like to do is check in, check in with the audience and grab, grab some letters to see what's going on. I'll just start with this one. This is from a guy with a great name. First name is Lincoln. That is a great name.

[Chick McGee]

Well, you got to call him Link.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And he's from a place I've never heard of called Orleans, Indiana.

[Christy Lee]

Oh yeah, Orleans. It's southern Indiana, near Paoli.

[Chick McGee]

Huh.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, okay.

[Chick McGee]

Got no clue.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, well, hello, Link. Can we be so bold? He writes Lincoln on both these. Is his full name.

[Christy Lee]

Well, I'm sure he goes by that. That's his name.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm not. You have to wonder. The chick and I are on the same page. Did you call a guy named Lincoln, Link?

[Chick McGee]

That was the black guy in Mod Squad. Yeah, Lincoln Hayes. Lee Khan.

[Tom Griswold]

That's how he said Clarence Williams.

[Chick McGee]

Right, Clarence Williams. But you know who I love? Clarence Williams iii.

[Josh Arnold]

He was great.

[Chick McGee]

Didn't care for one or two. Love the third.

[Tom Griswold]

Longtime listener writes Lincoln. Listen to you guys all the time. I was playing cards the other night with a group of younger guys and they were giving this old guy playing with us a lot of grief about not being able to perform in the bedroom. The old guy said, boys, I may be too old to cut the mustard, but I can still lick the jar.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, wow, Lincoln.

[Tom Griswold]

That is.

[Chick McGee]

It's a bold statement.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that'd be a nice T shirt by the way. Is anybody else. I don't know what I do on the computer to get all these constant T shirt things, but some of them I don't get.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, the slogans or whatever.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there's one that says I beat my wife. Have you seen that one? Like what am I missing some inside joke?

[Pat Godwin]

I don't think.

[Josh Arnold]

Is it on a so called wife beater? No, I don't know either.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, boy.

[Josh Arnold]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

Dirt bag. Yeah. I'm not sure, maybe I'm reading it wrong. I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

I got a.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, sorry.

[Pat Godwin]

Pickleball at the bottom.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, exactly.

[Josh Arnold]

Something or maybe.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, is that what's going on?

[Josh Arnold]

But even that.

[Pat Godwin]

Or on the back of the shirt maybe.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, like just kidding. No. Okay, I bet that's what it is. Yeah. Thank you.

[Chick McGee]

Do you get embarrassed every now and then when the algorithms and everything they figure out what you've been looking at and then all of a sudden you start getting fed all these things. Have I really been looking at this much at food videos?

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

And then you start getting food videos and then apparently, yeah, I guess I have been.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know why someone thinks I need the Vagitron 9000. Who doesn't, by the way? We have that coming up in the news.

[Chick McGee]

Randy writes us from. I'm not sure where he's from. I'm going to say Wisconsin. He says, dear gang, if you ever fly out of Milwaukee, Wisconsin's airport, you can stop at what they call the recombobulation area. It's just after tsa, and it's a place where you can stop, repack your electronics, get your shoes on and such. I thought Tom would find this fascinating.

[Tom Griswold]

I do.

[Chick McGee]

Close quote.

[Tom Griswold]

Because I often say discombobulated about that.

[Chick McGee]

Is Randy my life. I'm sorry. Randy in Iowa. There it is.

[Tom Griswold]

That's great. And I've always said that they need that at the airport.

[Josh Arnold]

They do.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Well, you've just. You've just touched your shoes to take them off. So you've got germs all over your hands. And they don't have sanitizer. I carry my own. Of course you do, but you.

[Chick McGee]

Because you know why you carry your own sanitizer. You're insane.

[Tom Griswold]

No, that's why. No, everyone's. Those things are filthy, those bins.

[Josh Arnold]

This is the same person who came over to your chair yesterday and put his foot on your chair to tie his shoe. He sure did.

[Chick McGee]

He sure did.

[Tom Griswold]

I think I'm gonna put it on my chair. I have to sit here.

[Josh Arnold]

Good point.

[Tom Griswold]

No, there should be hand sanitizer at this other side of tsa.

[Josh Arnold]

I feel like I've seen it, but maybe they don't.

[Tom Griswold]

I always just go wash my places.

[Chick McGee]

I've seen most. Yeah. Like every airport I've ever flown out of, there's a recombobulation area. But.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Chick McGee]

It's not labeled.

[Josh Arnold]

Right, right, right.

[Tom Griswold]

But I mean, it's important. And I was reading yesterday about the. What is it now? The. The. The real id, they call it.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That it was. It's required now, but they're still being kind of wishy washy about it. If you don't have one, you're gonna have to wait in a separate line. That. That law's been around for 20 years and they've had 16 years for people to get it together to get that done. If you can't get it done by now, hey, you don't get. You don't deserve to fly. I'm sorry. An end of story.

[Josh Arnold]

Boy, I sure hope so, man.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't think it's gonna.

[Chick McGee]

That would be nice.

[Josh Arnold]

Matthew has written in. He says he used to work in an oil field. We were talking dangerous jobs. There was a list. People listed the jobs they perceived to be the most dangerous.

[Christy Lee]

The toughest oil worker was 10, I believe.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

He says that this will tell you how tough it is to work in an oil field. My company provided two dismemberment insurance policies for Free.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

We got you covered.

[Tom Griswold]

When you lose a member, I got one for you. On the same topic, Jim writes, a friend of mine is an insurance executive. He looked into this based on life insurance premiums. The most dangerous job in the world is being an undersea welder working on the pipelines in the North Atlantic.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah. It's gotta be crazy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I actually knew a guy that he did that. Not on the North Atlantic, but he did that. It was. His stories were amazing.

[Christy Lee]

That's gotta be a trick. Keep your welding gear going in the water.

[Tom Griswold]

The pay was great. It was one of those things where he would work for this short period of time, then he'd have a very long period of time off that he'd go back. But yeah, incredibly dangerous. Oops, cut the hose.

[Josh Arnold]

And then just weird shadows in the water going by you.

[Tom Griswold]

Isn't there that. Remember that story we had about someone created a surfboard that would flash?

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And they think.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they keep the sharks away.

[Tom Griswold]

Keeps the sharks away. I never saw any more development of that. If that is in fact, it sounds.

[Chick McGee]

Like a shark attractor.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. The neon sign essentially says, eat at Joe's.

[Tom Griswold]

Or maybe some sharks don't like it. But, oh, the Makos love the taste of a nice light. Well, if you're just joining us, hello. This is the Bob and Tom Show. We're coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Any more letters on your side, Chick?

[Chick McGee]

Last week it says. This is from Wisconsin from Andrea. Last week you talked about gas station food. Chicken salad, tuna salad, egg salad.

[Tom Griswold]

Love it.

[Chick McGee]

Whatever you got, love it. I look forward to when I take a trip. The best soup I've ever had, Andrea says, hands down, was the chicken tortilla soup from a small gas station near my old office. I don't know who made it or how it or if it was legal or not, but they sold it and I didn't care.

[Josh Arnold]

I love stuff like that.

[Chick McGee]

It was on the menu. Lunch became an event at work and we were hooked. We collected cash in the morning, decided who'd get to make the run to pick up the soup for the office. I still crave that soup and it would be a part of my last meal if I was going to the chair. Also, I have to disagree with your take various takes on Werther's candy. There are several different flavors of Werther's. I did not know that. And evidently there's a caramel apple filled Werther's.

[Josh Arnold]

I have tried one of those.

[Chick McGee]

Don't Knock until you try it. I thought it was butterscotch.

[Tom Griswold]

Our take on Werther's is fairly simple. It's. It's great candy, but it's always used as a punchline for old people jokes. It's associated with the elderly.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. And I think it's fit for all ages.

[Pat Godwin]

My son loves it.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you remember my idea yesterday?

[Christy Lee]

What was that?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I think. I believe. I believe it might have been Josh or Chick that posited, if you will, the notion of rebranding Werther's for a younger audience. Maybe get a Super bowl commercial. I suggest that perhaps get a hip hop artist.

[Chick McGee]

Yes, we remember yours.

[Josh Arnold]

Remember slogan.

[Chick McGee]

And that's fine. And maybe that will happen.

[Tom Griswold]

Here's the next one. You don't want to hear my rap.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, I sure don't.

[Tom Griswold]

About having the Werther itch.

[Josh Arnold]

I do.

[Tom Griswold]

Give me that candy. It's just kind of putting a youthful spin on it.

[Chick McGee]

I did not realize this. This is from someone with the first initial K. Chick, come on. Snoopy was not a World War II flying ace. He was a World War I flying ace.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that's right up against the Red Baron.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I had no idea.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah, no, that's fine.

[Chick McGee]

World War I, not World War II. I didn't know they had planes in World War I. I guess they would have.

[Tom Griswold]

That was the famous dog fights with.

[Chick McGee]

No, no dog fights for Michael Vick in the NFL. You've got your.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

All messed up.

[Tom Griswold]

This is an interesting. We were talking about semen.

[Christy Lee]

Which kind?

[Tom Griswold]

Animal work.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, animals.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember the semen? Yeah, we had a discussion about various kinds of.

[Chick McGee]

Not fellows on a ship at sea.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, Jeff gave us that great story about his old girlfriend that used to.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, the rooster.

[Christy Lee]

Masturbate roosters.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait now, wait now. You've really gotta back up, Jeff. Do you want to explain it again in English?

[Pat Godwin]

You almost that one.

[Josh Arnold]

I dated a girl back in college who. Her college job was to every morning get up at like 6 in the morning and go manually masturbate like 50 roosters.

[Tom Griswold]

Because for.

[Josh Arnold]

For research studies of. Yeah, like 30 to 50 each morning.

[Christy Lee]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

And they. I believe she had a T shirt that said Cockadoodle Goo. It's more of an apron, really.

[Christy Lee]

Wonder they're always singing in the morning.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, we. We. We got talking yesterday about semen from large animals. I heard you guys. I run a family farm. We have our own herd of cows, including three bulls. Every year we have to test our bulls for potency by taking them to the vet this gets interesting. They insert a two foot long, two and a half inch diameter plastic rod with handles. It looks like a jackhammer. It has an electric cord in the end of it, goes into the bull's rectum. You press a button, it stimulates the bull's prostate. The bull immediately completes, if you will.

[Josh Arnold]

He loves.

[Tom Griswold]

And the vet can then test the sample. Thank you, Adam.

[Josh Arnold]

Why do they have those like sperm banks here? You need to give a sample of Dr. Because if I had to do that, I'd be in there for 40. But I'll see you in 45 minutes. I'm on SSRIs. You don't have good porn in here. It's going to take me a while. Give me that thing that I. Gosh.

[Tom Griswold]

I remember years ago, reading about someone who'd been in some kind of accident, and they had to get the seed from this man for. For. What do you call it? Ivf. Is that it? In vitro intro vitro fertilization. Yeah. And they did something. Maybe that's what it was. They'd use some instrument to extract it.

[Chick McGee]

I think intro vitro fertilization is where they announce it. Here it comes right now, ladies and gentlemen.

[Tom Griswold]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

Not in vitro.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember we had those sperm races.

[Chick McGee]

There we go.

[Tom Griswold]

I never thought about it. They have to have an announcer. And in the first turn down the stretch, it. It's jizzatron. Okay, well, thank you very much. Learning a little bit about animal husbandry. We love to hear from you. Other morning, you guys were talking about warning devices for low clearance bridges. Writes Will in Mobile, Alabama. In my hometown, we are. In my hometown, we have an old tunnel that has very low clearance. This has caused trouble for decades. The approach to the tunnel is equipped with a gigantic message board that says no trucks. Every few months, a truck manages to wedge itself into the tunnel entrance. So this is a. This is obviously a problem.

[Christy Lee]

Obvious.

[Tom Griswold]

Please. Again, my point is. See, that's smart to have the sign far back.

[Chick McGee]

Mm.

[Tom Griswold]

I just get concerned as you're approaching the tunnel at 50 miles an hour. It gives you the. It gives you the clearance. Coming up now. What's coming up in sports? Oh, you got a letter over there.

[Chick McGee]

Nothing. This is from Julia. Nothing gives me more pleasure than proving Tom wrong. She starts out, although that probably means that this won't get read on the air, especially I'm not. I don't live in Michigan. She says raccoons do not have opposable thumbs. I always thought they do or they did. They have something called dexterous toes. Okay, but not Opposable thumbs.

[Josh Arnold]

How about that?

[Chick McGee]

You're welcome. Exclamation point.

[Tom Griswold]

Julius from Gulf Shores. I thought they did.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, nice place.

[Tom Griswold]

They sure are good with whatever they got.

[Chick McGee]

It seems like a subtle difference. Dexterous toes.

[Christy Lee]

It can open anything. Any kind of garbage can.

[Chick McGee]

I can pick up stuff with my toes.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Chick McGee]

Like, if I drop something on there, I don't want to bend over. I can pick it up with my toe now, like washcloth or something like that.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, who hasn't done that?

[Chick McGee]

You know what I mean? Like drop a sandwich at the kiss. Can you remove both my toes?

[Josh Arnold]

Can you remove your socks with just your toes?

[Chick McGee]

I can, but it's quite a process.

[Christy Lee]

I don't think I've ever tried.

[Chick McGee]

It takes a little bit of time.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, you don't do that. Where you put the one toe under the other, press down, and then pull back.

[Pat Godwin]

Makes sense.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

From the top.

[Tom Griswold]

No, that's. Wait, hang on a second. How do you do it? Christy, that's because think about it. You're three feet closer to the ground than the rest of us.

[Christy Lee]

That's true. And I can touch toes.

[Chick McGee]

If you ever have your hands tied behind your back.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Rest easy. You're going to be able to take your socks off. When I was trying to do it one night, I.

[Tom Griswold]

Why am I doing this?

[Josh Arnold]

I'm with Jeff, though. I start from the top, too, because. Especially when you have the tooth.

[Chick McGee]

You slip it underneath the. How are you doing it? Psycho.

[Tom Griswold]

You. You take your big toe and you step on the toe of the other sock.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, you're standing. Okay. I'm thinking laying down. He's stretching the sock out.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

You're ruining the sock. Well, wait a minute.

[Christy Lee]

Toe roll your socks or fold them.

[Chick McGee]

Wait a minute. Hold it. I ball them up in a ball. We know that you could probably easily take your socks off because you cut the elastic off the top of the box.

[Tom Griswold]

A lot of them.

[Chick McGee]

I do.

[Tom Griswold]

The one I'm. Ones I'm wearing today. I. I didn't do that on these.

[Chick McGee]

You know, you really need to talk to someone about all these. Am I the only one that's somewhat alarmed by these quirks? Is kind. Psychotic behavior, I think, is jeans. You hem your jeans, you cut.

[Tom Griswold]

The. Jeans are supposed to be a certain length.

[Christy Lee]

Outside, they come in lengths.

[Chick McGee]

So. No, no, don't give me 32. Don't give me 34. I'm a 33 guy. Really? Well, shut up.

[Tom Griswold]

Nothing wrong with having them fit. We were talking about raccoons yesterday because the lady that was arrested and the cops looked in the car and there was a raccoon holding a meth pipe.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh yeah, geez.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. That was.

[Chick McGee]

Somebody sent me a photoshop of a raccoon in a Camaro behind the wheel with a meth pipe and a hat. Oh yeah, hat on the record backwards. It was amazing.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean the cops, the cops have a checklist. They pull her over. Oh, meth pipe, raccoon in the car, suspended license. Check, check, check. Warrants out for her. I think she's familiar with handcuffs. Okay, well, right now I want to remind you that chick McGee is sitting right there and he's going to tell us about feeling safe in your house with or without a raccoon.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, it's a big deal. What would you pay for peace of mind? Well, it's possible with Simply Safe and we have it here at the Bob and Tom studios. We have a Simply Safe security system and the cameras and millions of Americans enjoy the new standard in home security and greater peace of mind. I'll let that sink in. Every time they turn on their system while heading out in the morning or locking up each night. Compound secure. Traditional security systems only take action after somebody's already in your house touching your stuff. Simplisafe has active guard outdoor protection. Helps prevent break ins before they happen. AI powered cameras of Simplisafe backed by live professional monitoring agents monitor your property and detect suspicious activity. If you have a lurker agent, see and talk to that lurker in real time. Activate spotlights, even contact the police all before they have a chance to get inside your home. No long term contracts or cancellation fees. And monitoring plans start affordably at around a dollar a day and there is a 60 day satisfaction guarantee. And listen to this deal we got you simplisafe.com go there now and claim 50 off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and get your first month free. That's simplisafetom.com 50 off and first month free. There's no safe like Simplisafe.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much Chick McGee. Coming up, some fascinating stuff from the world of sports of course and are.

[Chick McGee]

The Celtics cook and the Nuggets made a mistake and made the thunder mad. Oh, we'll have the story.

[Tom Griswold]

And I got a great story for bald guys out there. You're gonna love it. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

This is the Bob and Tom Show. Reach us toll free at 1-888-bobtom1 [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom show.

[Tom Griswold]

Eczema isn't always obvious, but it's real.

[Al Jackson]

And so is the relief from Evglis.

[Tom Griswold]

After an initial dosing phase of 16.

[Ed Carpenter]

Weeks about taking Ebglis achieved itch relief.

[Tom Griswold]

And clear or almost clear skin.

[Ed Carpenter]

And most of those people maintain skin.

[Tom Griswold]

That'S still more clear at one year with monthly dosing. EBGLIS Lebricizumab LBKZ a 250mg per 2ml injection, is a prescription medicine used to treat adults and children 12 years of age and older who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms with moderate to severe eczema, also called atopic dermatitis, that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin or topicals or who cannot use topical therapies. Epglis can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you're allergic to Epglis. Allergic reactions can occur that can be severe. Eye problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have new or worsening eye problems. You should not receive a live vaccine when treated with Epglis. Before starting Epglis, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection searching for real relief. Ask your doctor about epglis and visit epglis.lily.com or call 1-800-lilyrx or 1-800-545-5979. Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Aren't we all.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bibletime Show. Shut up. There's Christy Lee. Hello, Josh Arnold. Pat Godwin, Jeff Oskay. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. I'm Chick McGee. Tom is signaling me. Were you signaling me?

[Tom Griswold]

We haven't finished our letters, Hunk.

[Chick McGee]

Justin, I've got. I've got a letter here. Just real quick.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, go ahead.

[Chick McGee]

Short one from Jim. Hey, good morning. My name's Jim. I live in Northeast Ohio. Will someone please get control of Tom? Thanks.

[Tom Griswold]

Thanks, Jim. I got. I got concerned. I got it together over here.

[Chick McGee]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Doing just fine.

[Chick McGee]

That's good.

[Tom Griswold]

This comes to us from Scott.

[Josh Arnold]

Scotty boy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yesterday you were talking about a gentleman in the Marine Corps. His real name was Piles. Yeah, he was Private Piles and of course, had to go through a lot of grief because of Gomer Pyle. The television show Gomer, by the way, the only Marine not to go to Nam at the peak of the Vietnam.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, that was before.

[Tom Griswold]

That was before.

[Josh Arnold]

Don't ask, don't tell.

[Tom Griswold]

Hell of a singer.

[Chick McGee]

Hell of a singer.

[Tom Griswold]

This When I was in Navy boot camp, one of my fellow seamen, his last name was spelled S T A N E S. That's right.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, man.

[Tom Griswold]

Staines.

[Josh Arnold]

Semen stain.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, as you know, seaman is a rank in the navy and the Navy and semen stains was in my division.

[Josh Arnold]

His nickname was Futon.

[Tom Griswold]

When you have a bunch of 18, 19 and 20 year old guys together and the RDC yells semen stains, everybody is gonna laugh.

[Christy Lee]

Heck yeah, they are.

[Tom Griswold]

However, if somebody laughed, we were in big trouble.

[Josh Arnold]

I love stuff.

[Chick McGee]

I've wanted to do this forever and Tom has denied, won't do it. But I think everybody who we have contact with who's a listener, we should give a nickname. And he doesn't want to. He never wanted to do.

[Tom Griswold]

This is great. If somebody laughed, we got dropped, made him lay down and someone would say, who left semen stains on the floor? We always had to do push ups because of semen stains. Thank you very much. I hope, I hope semen stains is perhaps now Admiral Stains.

[Josh Arnold]

Maybe.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no. Bad wordplay there. And we appreciate your service. Semen stains.

[Josh Arnold]

Maybe more saltpeter would have.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, time now to move on.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, I have a. Oh, saying for you. Yeah, Scott.

[Chick McGee]

Scott.

[Josh Arnold]

So the paper towel.

[Chick McGee]

Remember we had. I still remember this. We had a guy who had a call who went to Vanderbilt one morning and we called him the Commodore because Vanderbilt's Commodore. And it was. It was a really fun morning.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah. No, it wasn't.

[Tom Griswold]

So what you're saying is you want everybody to get a nickname.

[Chick McGee]

Everybody we have contact with. I think it'd be fun.

[Tom Griswold]

It's just. Okay, go ahead. Not today. We can do it today. Go ahead. What's the guy's name again?

[Josh Arnold]

Scott.

[Tom Griswold]

So you're calling him the towel man.

[Josh Arnold]

I like Twatter. How about Scott or the Twatter?

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Josh Arnold]

Scott or the Twatter?

[Chick McGee]

The Twatter.

[Josh Arnold]

Thank you for writing in. Twatter.

[Chick McGee]

You're familiar with the word twatter, I hope.

[Tom Griswold]

Just the short form.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

What about Scott? Sophreniac.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, that's better.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Scottso. That's a good one.

[Josh Arnold]

Scotso.

[Tom Griswold]

How about Scots and ready to party? Beat me up, Scott.

[Josh Arnold]

How about Scott's on the rocks?

[Chick McGee]

I like that. Call him Rocky.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, Rocky. Here's the deal. He writes in. You've mentioned clever sayings. I've been involved in aviation most of my life and this phrase comes up from time to time. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. That's Fun.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that is fun.

[Josh Arnold]

Rocky's got them all, doesn't he?

[Chick McGee]

Man, oh, man, that's kind of like old Oriental wisdom.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know if it's maybe Asian wisdom, Oriental rug, but that's okay.

[Tom Griswold]

No one says no. I think those are semi interchangeable. And they've got.

[Chick McGee]

I don't think they are. Hey, that guy looks oriental. You probably shouldn't say that.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I think that's the. I think that if you really look into that, that's not technically correct. That's just a politically correct.

[Josh Arnold]

Fight that battle.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I'm not gonna fight.

[Josh Arnold]

Ben wrote in.

[Tom Griswold]

Who is it?

[Chick McGee]

What's his name? Ben.

[Josh Arnold]

Our boy Ben.

[Chick McGee]

Our boy Ben. Gentle Ben. Big Ben.

[Josh Arnold]

I mentioned Camel cash the other day. Ben writes in. My dad saved up his Camel cash through the 80s and 90s, enough to mail them in. Six weeks later, his black leather jacket with Joe Camel on the back arrived. He was so proud.

[Chick McGee]

He got around the town.

[Josh Arnold]

That was like the number. That was like the biggest thing. Yeah. I'm wondering if they buried him in it.

[Chick McGee]

Who was just gonna say yeah, to.

[Tom Griswold]

Match his black lung.

[Chick McGee]

It looked great in the casket. Yeah, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. It has an oxygen tank with a little leather thing on it.

[Josh Arnold]

I feel like that was always the dream of the camel smoker to get that chain. That was a lot.

[Chick McGee]

Whatever happened to that? The SNH green stamps.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Put them in the book.

[Chick McGee]

Top value stamps.

[Tom Griswold]

I think they finally folded, man.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

My grandmother licked those hundreds of those.

[Tom Griswold]

Books and she loved. You would take. You take them and put a wet sponge on it.

[Christy Lee]

Yep. So you didn't have to lick it.

[Tom Griswold]

Because the stamps came in multiple sheets.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I like licking those stamps.

[Josh Arnold]

Now, is this similar to when, like Columbia House originally, when you wanted to order the CDs, you would put the stamp on on the thing to send in.

[Chick McGee]

No, the top value in SNH were green. SNH was green stamps. Top value red.

[Tom Griswold]

That was a sheet of stamps that.

[Chick McGee]

Was in the 50s and 60s.

[Tom Griswold]

Put them in a book, and then if you got a huge book of them, you could, you know, get a toaster.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, it was.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh. So products would come with these and then you add them, you collect them. I got you.

[Chick McGee]

Well, you. You got your collecting book. You got your stamps when you brought. Bought groceries, and then you get your catalog that you could. Oh, this is five books or whatever.

[Pat Godwin]

And then you had to go to a redemption center, though.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

They didn't just mail it to you.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

So it basically worked out to a Quarter of a million dollars. You could get a nice grill.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, he's not exaggerating.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. Now here's another. This is a fun letter. Now we're getting a nickname for this guy, right?

[Chick McGee]

What's his name?

[Tom Griswold]

From St. Charles, Iowa. Do you want to go with first or last name? I think his last name is going to be better for a nickname. His last name is Brahmel Buddy. They call him Bo.

[Josh Arnold]

Bobo.

[Tom Griswold]

He goes. I worked at a mechanic at a car dealership.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, he did.

[Tom Griswold]

One of the older technicians would tell me I could borrow anything he had except his car and his wife.

[Pat Godwin]

What a nut.

[Tom Griswold]

You can't borrow my car, my wife. Because you could throw a rod on either one of them.

[Chick McGee]

That is just old fashioned country wisdom.

[Josh Arnold]

That's Bobo for you, though.

[Pat Godwin]

Salty Bobo.

[Christy Lee]

Christy, I have a letter. This is. It says Yogi of Graniteville. I don't know where.

[Chick McGee]

Stone, man. Yogi's a great name, though. You don't need it.

[Josh Arnold]

What's old Picnic basket After.

[Christy Lee]

Well, in reference to a Chuck Norris joke, at the age of 15, my mom decided to have the talk. She said, we have to have the sex talk. In response, I said, okay, pull up a chair. Tell me what you want to know.

[Josh Arnold]

Hilarious.

[Christy Lee]

She walked away and never spoke of the issue.

[Tom Griswold]

Good for her. That is cool.

[Josh Arnold]

That's one way to alleviate the awkwardness.

[Tom Griswold]

That's from Yogi.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, it's from Yogi.

[Tom Griswold]

Yogi, my man. Yeah. I think we need to have a special cloth club.

[Christy Lee]

What kind of club?

[Tom Griswold]

Someone writes a great letter. They. They. They're enshrined in the, in the Bob and Tom hall of Fame Letter Writing Club. That's a. That's a classic right there.

[Christy Lee]

What do you want to know? Oh, my God.

[Tom Griswold]

Here's some folksy wisdom. That doesn't have any. No, there's no going down vulgar road. It's just really. Yeah, We've been getting some rain here. It reminded me of something. I grew up on a farm in Iowa. In 88, we had a pretty severe drought. I remember one of our old farmer neighbors talking to my dad. He said, it's so dry. He saw a catfish drinking out of his cattle tank.

[Josh Arnold]

It just slid up right to it and started sipping.

[Chick McGee]

I mean, it's kind of.

[Tom Griswold]

Kind of folksy. There's no. Yeah, there's no lewd. There's nothing nasty about it or sex related. I know it's hard for you to write.

[Chick McGee]

It might have actually happened. Happened. Who knows?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, those catfish. You don't want to Write them off.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you remember we had a story, Just a few. We had a story a couple weeks ago about that invasive fish that can live on land. They see. If you see them, cut their heads off, put them in a place.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, they are.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they're nasty. Well, we're gonna get to sports, I promise. We have lots of other interesting things going on in the world. Christy Lee, you want to give me a quick teaser?

[Christy Lee]

Well, we have an interesting story about sex toy and a woman who has become the oldest woman to have her lady parts turned into a sex toy, if you will.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I see. Model. There's a molded. Molded after her.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Do they do that for male porn stars where you can actually buy the. I believe the member of.

[Josh Arnold]

Probably.

[Chick McGee]

This is going to sound weird, weird, but Christy and I were just talking about this. Lamar Odom, the former NBA player, has.

[Josh Arnold]

His wiener on the market.

[Christy Lee]

A line of sex.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that's right. It looks like him, right?

[Pat Godwin]

Kim Kardashian.

[Christy Lee]

No, it's Khloe Kardashian.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, okay.

[Christy Lee]

He has a Khloe Kardashian sex doll. I mean, it doesn't.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I thought it was his wife.

[Christy Lee]

He doesn't call it that, but it looks just like her.

[Josh Arnold]

I see.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I see.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, how respectful of his.

[Christy Lee]

Right. Ex wife.

[Chick McGee]

Chloe's like 8ft tall, right?

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

He's like 7, 8.

[Tom Griswold]

No. This is all coming up right now. We are reporting from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Thanks for listening. Portions of the show brought to you by Champion Windows. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey there, travelers.

[Christy Lee]

Kaley Cuoco here. Sorry to interrupt your music, great artist.

[Tom Griswold]

BT Dubs, but wouldn't you rather be.

[Christy Lee]

There to hear it live?

[Tom Griswold]

With Priceline, you can get out of.

[Josh Arnold]

Your dreams and into your dream concert.

[Tom Griswold]

They've got millions, millions of travel deals.

[Josh Arnold]

To get you to that festival gig.

[Christy Lee]

Rave, sound bath or sonic experience you've been dreaming of. Download the Priceline app today and you can save up to 60 off hotels.

[Josh Arnold]

And up to 50 off flights.

[Tom Griswold]

So don't just dream about that trip.

[Christy Lee]

Book it with Priceline.

[Tom Griswold]

Go to your happy price. Priceline.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay, Lunatic.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. How do you approach a problem like this? I don't. At the Silac Insurance news desk, there's Christy Lee. I don't know what's wrong with Chick. I don't know what his deal is.

[Tom Griswold]

Common knowledge.

[Chick McGee]

What the heck, There's Pat. Godwin Hello, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi. Hi there.

[Chick McGee]

There's Jeff Oskay. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and he's going to start talking again. Here's Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, I think it's your turn.

[Chick McGee]

We'll get go right ahead.

[Tom Griswold]

Check things out at the sports desk. I know we have some interesting news in the world of sports today.

[Chick McGee]

Can you believe it? Now I fashioned some of these stories for you, Tom. So I. I'm listening instead of reading some whatever romance novel you've got going over there. Possibly if you pay attention to the sports.

[Tom Griswold]

Paying attention.

[Chick McGee]

For instance, Mikhail Bridges scored all of his 14 points in the fourth quarter. Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

Is that Mika McHale's navy?

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

No, that's Hogan's Heroes.

[Tom Griswold]

That's Mikhail's name.

[Chick McGee]

That's Hogan's Heroes.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's Mikael's name.

[Josh Arnold]

All right, you two, you're listening to arguments from the nursing home assistant.

[Chick McGee]

You know what? I take it all back. Guilty as charged. The Knicks overcame. They did it again in Boston. The Knicks overcame a 20 point deficit to beat the Celtics 9190 last night for a 20 lead in the Eastern Conference semifinals. Could it be Hicks vs Knicks again and the Pacers in New York get together again?

[Christy Lee]

That'd be great.

[Chick McGee]

Easter conference finals will. We'll see. The Celtics are up up against it and Shay gil just. Alexander SGA had 34 points for Oklahoma City. And the Thunder got mad after the Nuggets took game one. The final score, Oklahoma City 149.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh my gosh.

[Chick McGee]

Denver 106.

[Christy Lee]

They quit playing defense over there at halftime.

[Chick McGee]

Oklahoma city was ahead 87 to 56.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

That was at halftime.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

So we'll see. Yeah. Now this, the series shifts to the mile highest city. What the hell is this?

[Tom Griswold]

Trying to find the McHale's name.

[Chick McGee]

Everybody else is hearing this, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. This should be it. Maybe.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

That was what I was singing. Right.

[Chick McGee]

I don't. I heard Hogan's heroes.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the McHale's Day, you know, that's pretty good.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that's a good theme.

[Tom Griswold]

Big horns.

[Chick McGee]

You know what they put. They put some time into.

[Josh Arnold]

They did.

[Tom Griswold]

And you can see that, you know, PT73 cruising around the Pacific. Oh, it was great. Very cool.

[Chick McGee]

NHL playoffs last night.

[Christy Lee]

Black and white.

[Tom Griswold]

Hang on one second. Yeah, yeah, but they did. They did some movies in color. Color.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. Gruber. Oh, it was great. Cave drawing. The great Carl Ballantyne. Christy. PT boat number for John F. Kennedy, 109. Very good. Okay. You passed back to Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Can I say anything about Kennedy in the PT boat? No.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you ever see that movie PT109.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And Cliff Robertson. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Should have started. Once upon a time. Toronto beat Florida 43 in the NHL. The Leafs have a 2o lead in that series over last year's champs.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

And Dallas beat Winnipeg in game in the peg in game one of their. Their playoffs in the NHL. The Steelers have run out of patience with wide receiver George Pickens.

[Christy Lee]

Chick.

[Josh Arnold]

Where are you on this? I want Winnipeg to win now because they beat the Blues. I want. I want the team that beat my team to go all the way.

[Chick McGee]

That's the old. Yeah. If Washington wasn't in the playoffs I'd always cheer for the to. I try to cheer for other. The other division teams.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Now if a Canadian team wins what's the tariff on the Stanley Cup?

[Chick McGee]

George Pickens is now a Dallas Cowboy. Steelers get a slapping the sunburn.

[Josh Arnold]

Isn't he?

[Chick McGee]

He's something else. Utah Mammoth is now the permanent name.

[Pat Godwin]

Utah Mammoth too.

[Josh Arnold]

I thought I to Mama.

[Chick McGee]

You know what I did.

[Tom Griswold]

I did.

[Pat Godwin]

I did.

[Tom Griswold]

To member. Pat.

[Chick McGee]

I'd like to thank you. It's almost like you reach down and went well covered by Tom Talk. And you. You gave me a hand and I appreciate it. The Utah Mammoth. Utah Mammoth. Owners Ryan and Ashley Smith unveiled the franchise's permanent full time name yesterday logo. The ice age creature featuring a nod to the shape of the state and the mountain range. The name chosen following several rounds of fan voting. And I forgot what. What were. I didn't like Mammoth. There was another one I liked. But that's not.

[Tom Griswold]

But you told me you like the new logo.

[Chick McGee]

It's okay. Yeah. And. But I don't like this. The rallying cry for the new Utah Mammoth.

[Tom Griswold]

Where'd you see Mammoth.

[Chick McGee]

Will be Tusks up.

[Josh Arnold]

Tusks up. All right. See I think rallying cries should be organic.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

We got to wait a year or two to find out what the rally.

[Chick McGee]

What are they going to. So they have to throw an elephant on the ice if they get a hat trick.

[Josh Arnold]

So they had a meeting. Hey. What's a rally cry going to be?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a problem with that. It's not going to sound like Tucks up.

[Josh Arnold]

Tusks up.

[Chick McGee]

Tusks up.

[Pat Godwin]

It's hard to say.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm having a little bit of trouble trying to figure out what you think it might sound like.

[Tom Griswold]

Tusks. When things don't go right.

[Josh Arnold]

You might think they're gonna go F on accident.

[Tom Griswold]

Fs up. I think it's very close, frankly, but, yeah, I'm with you. It has to be organic, not just manufactured.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

By the way, they found a complete mammoth skeleton in Huntington Canyon in 1988, which evidently is in Utah.

[Josh Arnold]

Skeleton.

[Tom Griswold]

The options, Chick, were.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

The Utah Hockey Club.

[Chick McGee]

I like that.

[Tom Griswold]

And the Utah Outlaws.

[Chick McGee]

That was it. Those three.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Winnowed. Is that the right word?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Down from okay.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. There was something in the bigger field.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

The Los Angeles Rams are going to hold a mandatory minicamp in Maui.

[Christy Lee]

Nice.

[Chick McGee]

June 16th and 19th as part of a new partnership with the Hawaii Tourism Authority to boost local tourism. Team activities take place June 17th 18th at War Memorial Stadium in a Hawaii city that ends with ku, with additional community events planned throughout the week. Rams president Kevin Demoff said the team is excited to bring the NFL minicamp to Maui for the first time and to support youth football on the island.

[Josh Arnold]

And Hawaii is excited because they just also upped that tourist tax. I don't know if you saw that, but if you're a tourist, you're going to pay more. A little bit. Why?

[Chick McGee]

Going to. Why?

[Josh Arnold]

So that they can save the environment.

[Tom Griswold]

Looks like it's a Wailuku.

[Josh Arnold]

Wailuku is the place.

[Tom Griswold]

Wailuku.

[Josh Arnold]

I think it's Wailuku. Hey, have you guys noticed this? Maybe we've talked about this, but for the last year or two. Are they teaching kids to put the apostrophe in Hawaii now? Have you guys. In almost every article I've seen written about Hawaii.

[Christy Lee]

I haven't noticed.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Where it sounds like you scared.

[Josh Arnold]

Right. So I'm wondering if they are, if that. If, you know, if my kids will start writing it that way. I'm against it.

[Chick McGee]

All right.

[Pat Godwin]

How old are your kids?

[Josh Arnold]

I'll have kids eventually.

[Christy Lee]

He will.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, you better get started.

[Josh Arnold]

My sperm can last forever.

[Christy Lee]

Look at sitting over there.

[Pat Godwin]

That's true.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

There's no age.

[Tom Griswold]

Apparently. That's a false premise to it, but Pat's not exactly a young dad.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, no, I'm an older dad. I make no bones about it.

[Josh Arnold]

And what's the worst thing that's going to happen? Hey, I'm 60, Doc, but I want to have kids. Well, you're going to have to be with somebody who's, like, 40 or younger. Oh, shucks.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I was 51.

[Tom Griswold]

That's kind of a cool idea. Minicamp.

[Pat Godwin]

I was 51 when I had Jimmy.

[Tom Griswold]

Minicamp for an NFL team in a beautiful place like Hawaii.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that is nice.

[Tom Griswold]

I bet Everybody shows up because.

[Chick McGee]

I bet. So, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. That was the beauty of the old Pro Bowl. They would do it in Hawaii and everybody wanted to go. Then they started doing it in Orlando. It didn't have quite the appeal.

[Chick McGee]

Backup quarterback for Washington, Marcus Mariota, he went to Hawaii.

[Josh Arnold]

Has anybody been to Maui?

[Pat Godwin]

I have.

[Christy Lee]

I have.

[Josh Arnold]

Pretty nice.

[Chick McGee]

I might go later today.

[Josh Arnold]

Not to Maui, but maybe with some help from Wowie.

[Chick McGee]

Maui.

[Josh Arnold]

Maui Wowie.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

You like the herb?

[Chick McGee]

It's always warm there, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Why do I think Samoa is so close? Because it's like 25, 2600 miles away from Hawaii. Samoa. But I always thought, well, Hawaii, of course. There's Samoan football players.

[Josh Arnold]

Of course. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

But that's. They're both in the water.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they're both islands.

[Chick McGee]

But if you don't do that, United States is in the water. There's a question.

[Tom Griswold]

Is, is Los Angeles closer to Hawaii than Hawaii?

[Chick McGee]

The most southern city is Spokane, Washington.

[Tom Griswold]

How does that work?

[Chick McGee]

The globe bend. I don't care.

[Josh Arnold]

Right, right.

[Chick McGee]

I don't want to hear it.

[Tom Griswold]

I was just trying to help.

[Josh Arnold]

Quit messing with my brain.

[Chick McGee]

Don't mess with my head. Isn't it enough? Oh, we've got a dangerous job here. We'll come back with that. And world record that. I know I've said this before, but this could possibly be the stupidest world record.

[Christy Lee]

Quite a statement.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, I want to tell you that we got a special broadcast coming up. I've got the poster right here, the one we had to redo to have the puppet. The puppet of Pat Gowdman with the black eyebrows. Java House is gonna present our special Carb Day broadcast coming up in a couple of weeks. And I'll explain what that all means. Speaking of Java House, they've revolutionized the world of coffee, starting right here in our studios. Because Java House is the official coffee of the Bob and Tom show and the official, let's just say, beverages of the Bob and Tom Show. How does it work? Well, Java House, it's got this thing. It looks kind of like one of those pods for a Keurig machine, but it isn't. You don't put this in anything. It's a little bit bigger than one of those pods, and you could fit a ping pong ball. Did we bring the ping pong balls in for the test?

[Christy Lee]

No, we didn't.

[Tom Griswold]

Somebody grabbed those. And what you do is. It's called Peel and Pour. This is a concentrate of coffee. And by the way, quite a variety also. They have the delicious hot cocoa. They have various sports drinks and other delights, hydration drinks and energy drinks, lattes and more. And you just take it, you peel and you pour it. We also have a great water machine. We have the office H2O water machine. Now got rid of all those gigantic bottles of water. And this thing is a filtration system. We can get hot water with the touch of a button. It's great. By the way, thanks again to office H2O for helping us out with that. You can get started, by the way with Java House at your office or at home@java house.com if you use the promo code Bob and Tom, it'll knock 25% off your order. This is really revolutionizing coffee. It'll make your morning routine a lot easier and you just have to find the one that you like the best. So give Java House a try. And thanks to Java House for sponsoring a special broadcast of this show just around the corner. And we're going to have one of the Java House drivers stopping by a little bit later on. I'll tell you about that real soon. Java House, once again, the official coffee and Java House, the official refreshments of the Bob and Tom Show. Coming up, we have, let's see, how do I word this, A flagrant delicto in publico in Florida, of course. Coming up, we're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom show.

[Chick McGee]

The new McCrispy strip is here.

[Tom Griswold]

Dip approved by ketchup tangy barbecue, honey mustard, honey mustard, Sprite, McFlurry, Big Mac.

[Chick McGee]

Sauce, double dipped in buffalo and ranch. More ranch and creamy chili McCrispy strip dip now at McDonald's.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk. Hi, there's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hi, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Josh Arnold is the I hate Stephen Singer sidekick chair.

[Josh Arnold]

Mother's Day is Sunday. You know this, we know it. We're trying to tell you. Order now and choose overnight shipping to get Stephen Singer Jewelers 24 karat gold dipped roses in time. Order today atI hate stevensinger.com There's Chef Oskay.

[Chick McGee]

I'm Chick Magee. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Chick McGee. It's great to see you here, sir.

[Chick McGee]

I have a letter.

[Tom Griswold]

Go ahead. Let's hear it.

[Chick McGee]

Good morning, everybody. You didn't mention welder in your dangerous jobs Weld. I was a welder. Our comp. Our company focuses on structural steel handrails and Stairs. Oh, it's very dangerous. For example, one day a worker was bringing into the shop a 40 foot, 12 inch wide beam on a forklift. He had someone helping him maneuver it through the doors. The beam slipped off the forks and crushed the assistant's legs.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, gosh.

[Chick McGee]

Both had to be amputated.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, God. Why did you do that?

[Chick McGee]

That's from Ryan. It's about time to be a little grateful. Okay, who's.

[Tom Griswold]

Who's. Who brought you that letter?

[Chick McGee]

What do you mean that's a dangerous job?

[Josh Arnold]

That is a dangerous job.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I.

[Chick McGee]

Probably one of those little platforms with the wheels on them, you know.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's what they got.

[Chick McGee]

Scoot around, Right?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Like Eddie Murphy and Trading Places. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

On a lighter note, what are you trying to say?

[Chick McGee]

I shouldn't have read that.

[Tom Griswold]

Dear Bob and Tom, Joe writes, michael, first of all, I've listened to your show since day one.

[Josh Arnold]

Is that right?

[Tom Griswold]

That's a no.

[Chick McGee]

I haven't listened since day one. What are you talking about? I wasn't even here day one. I don't know what. I know what kind of mess you and that other guy put.

[Tom Griswold]

I was here day one and I haven't listened yet.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, that's interesting.

[Tom Griswold]

You brought up the subject of water beds. The question was raised. Does anyone still have one? We have owned a Christiano. You used to have one. Do you know what this means?

[Christy Lee]

I've had a couple of them.

[Tom Griswold]

A full motion waterbed.

[Christy Lee]

That means there were no baffles in it.

[Tom Griswold]

Baffles?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they're baffled.

[Josh Arnold]

Those always confuse me.

[Christy Lee]

Full motion one because.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, he's baffled. Very good, very good.

[Christy Lee]

Slows the motion down.

[Josh Arnold]

Gentle comedy. Isn't it irritating? Oh, irritating comedy.

[Christy Lee]

Kind of.

[Tom Griswold]

No, it's subjective. Hey, the.

[Chick McGee]

The subject is you can order waterbeds on Amazon. What can I get you? You can.

[Christy Lee]

So he still has a full motion water bed.

[Tom Griswold]

That's what he says, man.

[Christy Lee]

A lot of sloshing. Full motion, meaning it moves a lot. Oh, the bathroom. And it. Keep it a little more firm, a little more stable.

[Tom Griswold]

I've never slept on one. I remember going to whatever it was, the waterbed warehouse, of course, and getting on one. And I noticed it was. There was a lot of noise, a lot of sloshing.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. And then you graduate to the soft side or waterbed, which was tubes of water that would fill and. So like a mattress.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that was a. That really can't be a big thing anymore, though.

[Christy Lee]

I mean, I don't think it's. I use waterbed. Warehouse anymore, do you?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Christy Lee]

No. Well, there you go.

[Pat Godwin]

Was this good for the love making? Did it kind of go with the motion?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, God, I don't remember.

[Pat Godwin]

You don't remember?

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, I didn't.

[Christy Lee]

It was my first husband.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, let's expand on this long time ago. Would. Would it be like you'd be pushing this way to be pushing back? It was like having a defense.

[Christy Lee]

No. Have you ever had sex on a boat?

[Pat Godwin]

Like answer the question, Tom.

[Christy Lee]

That kind of rocking motion.

[Chick McGee]

Have you ever had sex? Would be my question.

[Christy Lee]

Okay, there's that.

[Chick McGee]

Other than to make a. Put a baby in somebody.

[Josh Arnold]

A one, a two. Oh, you're pregnant.

[Chick McGee]

That's called. Called the Tootsie Pop.

[Tom Griswold]

But I think the world of FM radio wouldn't exist if it weren't for waterbeds. Because that there were so many waterbed commercials in the early days of FM radio.

[Christy Lee]

Oh. I was like, how did that connect? Because you're talking about sponsor.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. I mean, don't you remember that?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, it was a hippie thing. Water beds and.

[Tom Griswold]

Water beds and an aftermarket car stereos. Built this building. Yeah, I did.

[Chick McGee]

I want to say hundreds of waterbed commercials and I'm waterbed warehouse. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Did you ever sleep in a waterbed?

[Chick McGee]

I did, but I did not care for it. There's something that happens to my body when I'm sleeping. I sweat in odd places. I can't explain it any better than that. I don't feel like I'm ever. I don't think I'm. I don't feel like I'm ever dry when I'm sleeping in a waterbed.

[Tom Griswold]

Really? I'm hearing a song paddle that I sweat in odd places. A little bit of a Garth Brooks tribute.

[Christy Lee]

Well, they have meters for them.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, oh, we got a stupid world record.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, we do. Stupid. Is everybody ready?

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Are you ready to listen to this?

[Tom Griswold]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

A seven year old rescue cat from Texas. Rescue cat has claimed the Guinness world record.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, you mean the cat was rescued.

[Tom Griswold]

The cat was rescued.

[Christy Lee]

Rescues people. Okay, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

No, there's. That's a poorly written. I guess.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, well, hang on a second. Guinness world record for the longest jump by a cat.

[Josh Arnold]

Really? Across or up from a tree.

[Chick McGee]

Oscar achieved the title by jumping 8ft 5 inches.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, that's amazing.

[Chick McGee]

Beating the previous record of 7 and a half feet. Now, I don't know if this is straight up. I don't know if it's the distance across.

[Josh Arnold]

Do you know, Tom, how do they get it to jump?

[Tom Griswold]

There's A. There's a backstory. Oh. Oscar's owner, Theodore Shields.

[Chick McGee]

Teddy Shields.

[Tom Griswold]

Teddy Shields.

[Chick McGee]

That was the original Sergeant Pepper song. It wasn't Billy. It was.

[Tom Griswold]

Oscar survived falling off of a large building.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, my gosh.

[Tom Griswold]

And he says, in his opinion, he thinks that gave Oscar a strong craving for, quote, airtime. And he thinks that Oscar learned vertical jumps are dangerous, horizontal is safer. And now he is adept at doing long distance.

[Josh Arnold]

So he could jump an eight foot chasm then.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Why don't they outfit cats and make them rescue cats and send them up in the Himalayas with bourbon around their necks to save skiers and things like that matter. Send them up in the mountain.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, first of all. First of all, skiing the Himalayas, I guess someone has done it.

[Chick McGee]

It's certainly not you because you're a puss.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I prefer, I don't know, Veil. Beaver Creek Comforts, Aspen, Keystone, maybe Deer Valley for babies. Let's see now.

[Chick McGee]

Why wouldn't you ever.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, we. Now we have a video here of Oscar. Of Oscar the cat.

[Josh Arnold]

Handsome cat. Black and. Or, I'm sorry, gray and white. Jump.

[Chick McGee]

No, it doesn't even look like he's trying.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, there's. It looks like very little effort, which is all the more incredible.

[Christy Lee]

Right?

[Tom Griswold]

But the fact that they could train him to do anything is a miracle. It's a cat. True.

[Josh Arnold]

You can train cats.

[Chick McGee]

Takes longer cats do tricks.

[Josh Arnold]

You can train a cat to use your toilet.

[Christy Lee]

Well, that's amazing.

[Josh Arnold]

Really? Yeah, absolutely. There are these kits out there where you can, and they get it in two, three days. It's nuts.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

Did your cat do that?

[Josh Arnold]

No, I didn't get the kid.

[Chick McGee]

Well, they don't flush. No, they can.

[Josh Arnold]

I have seen videos of them flushing.

[Pat Godwin]

Is it a Kit Kat?

[Josh Arnold]

But what is it?

[Pat Godwin]

A Kit Kat? Is that what they call it?

[Christy Lee]

It's a cat kit.

[Josh Arnold]

Is it? Are you asking because I'm overweight?

[Christy Lee]

No, no, it's a cat.

[Josh Arnold]

And so therefore I would have candy in my home.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no, I did not. No, it's is. You said the kit. The kit. The kit is for a cat.

[Chick McGee]

Utah Mammoth.

[Tom Griswold]

I guess this guy trained this cat by having a room full of rocking chairs. And they learned a job. You see.

[Chick McGee]

Finally, in sports, the Milwaukee brewers are in hot water with fans who thought they were going to receive a free hot dog at games this season, only to find out they're paying tax.

[Josh Arnold]

That is bs.

[Chick McGee]

In April, the Brewers announced the launch of Brewers Hot Dog Club, a membership program where fans, friends, fans can receive one Complimentary hot dog at every home game throughout the regular season. The total price to join this elite club, 59.99, which is steal. But if you're paying $6 a dog at Yankee Stadium. Brewers fans, though, started losing it over the fact they had to pay taxes on their hot dog every time they went and grabbed one at the American Family Field concourse.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, right. To be upset.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. That's crazy.

[Tom Griswold]

Why wouldn't they build it into the.

[Chick McGee]

What was supposed to be a fee. Free. Was now costing fans almost a dollar every time they went and grabbed a hot dog.

[Josh Arnold]

They wouldn't build it into the front because some fans will only get two hot dogs under this membership. Others will get 12, others will get nine. It's not a finite number. You subscribe and then you can get it.

[Chick McGee]

One person tweeted, is nothing sacred anymore? The brewers ruined my hot dog club experience. I grabbed a free hot. What I thought was a free hot dog, and then I saw my credit card receipt. They taxed 63 cents.

[Josh Arnold]

Annoying. That's annoying.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't understand. I mean, if you get a buffet.

[Josh Arnold]

They tax you on it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but it's a tax based on the amount of the buffet.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

They don't.

[Josh Arnold]

This is taxed on an individual hot dog. 63 cents is the tax on one hot dog.

[Tom Griswold]

I give a.

[Chick McGee]

So if you get six hot dogs, it'd be more than 63 cents.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

A little over.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, I don't understand.

[Christy Lee]

Four bucks or something.

[Tom Griswold]

All right, well, no, it doesn't make any sense. If you pay. What is it? How much is to join the club?

[Chick McGee]

60 bucks.

[Tom Griswold]

Then you tax that and call it a day.

[Josh Arnold]

That's what everybody's complaining about.

[Tom Griswold]

That's what it should be.

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

If you go to a buffet, you don't go, oh, you only had. You only had half a sandwich. We're going to tax you less.

[Josh Arnold]

Right?

[Tom Griswold]

Doesn't make any sense.

[Josh Arnold]

This would be like. You'll get. You get taxed when you start, when you have a Netflix subscription, and then they give. They tax you on every movie you watch. That's essentially the same thing.

[Chick McGee]

That sounds like a tariff.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, you guys, what are you doing?

[Chick McGee]

He started it.

[Tom Griswold]

Welcome to the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back. I should say, to the Bob and Tom. So thanks for joining us. If you are just joining us, we're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. That kind of reminded me, Christy, what's the status of the. Of the conclave?

[Christy Lee]

Thank you for asking, John.

[Tom Griswold]

Vatican City, usa.

[Josh Arnold]

A friend of mine is there Not Vatican City, usa.

[Christy Lee]

Vatican City, USA is in Rome right now.

[Tom Griswold]

I know it's not. It's at Epcot. I guess you guys don't read the paper. Yeah, they moved. They moved the Vatican to Epcot. It's very convenient. It's right.

[Chick McGee]

Got another vote coming.

[Tom Griswold]

It's right after you get to the Japan Pavilion.

[Josh Arnold]

I see.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you imagine if they had a.

[Josh Arnold]

Mini Vatican City in Epcot?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, it would be so popular. Popular.

[Josh Arnold]

I think it would be kind of cool.

[Tom Griswold]

People. People would go nuts.

[Pat Godwin]

It would be cool.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, speaking of Disney, did you see where they're putting in a new. Their new theme parks going in Abu Dhabi.

[Josh Arnold]

No kidding.

[Christy Lee]

Yep. But their seventh theme park was announced yesterday. Will be in Abu Dhabi.

[Josh Arnold]

What are they making anywhere?

[Christy Lee]

The waterfront resort will be built and run by the local.

[Josh Arnold]

I guess that's mini underneath that robe or whatever.

[Tom Griswold]

You mean the head. The headgear? Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

So a lot of new.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a. That is a really fair question.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, the print, all the princesses and all that stuff.

[Christy Lee]

I. I don't know. But that's where they said they were going to do it, so, I mean, it makes sense.

[Josh Arnold]

That place is. I'd actually like to go. Some of the stuff there is incredible. Unique to the. I mean. Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

A lot of everyone that I know that's been there said it's amazing.

[Josh Arnold]

I know you're trying to hammer.

[Christy Lee]

What are you trying to hammer in Nikki Glazer's joke?

[Tom Griswold]

What is Nikki Glaser's joke, Josh?

[Josh Arnold]

I don't. Why would you make me repeat my friend's joke? It's going to create a lot of Abu Jobis in Abu Dhabi.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's very nice.

[Christy Lee]

Now let's go back to Vatican City. Black smoke poured out of the Sistine Chapel on Wednesday evening.

[Tom Griswold]

I have a question. What would happen if the Sistine Chapel caught on fire? They think we don't have a new pope. Oh, my God.

[Chick McGee]

It'd be pretty hot fire because it's mostly stone, I think.

[Josh Arnold]

Now, there are a lot of questions about the Sistine Chapel. In fact, we have an expert here. Mr. Paul Lind is here.

[Pat Godwin]

Hello, everybody.

[Chick McGee]

Mr. Lind, where is God?

[Josh Arnold]

Where is the Sistine Chapel?

[Pat Godwin]

Right next to the 15th.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you.

[Christy Lee]

133 cardinals returned to the Sistine Chapel today where they failed to elect a new pope again in two votes this morning.

[Josh Arnold]

Nobody expected this to take.

[Chick McGee]

No. It's like 1:30 in Rome.

[Christy Lee]

They're breaking for lunch. Chick.

[Chick McGee]

They broke for lunch.

[Christy Lee]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

And the by the way got the black smoke means no new pope.

[Christy Lee]

Correct.

[Tom Griswold]

But they're locked in there. The green smoke means they're out of guac.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, man. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And by the way, the fees for guacamole in Italy, ridiculous.

[Josh Arnold]

This has been a so a taxing on all of us. It's time for lunch. A deli tray.

[Chick McGee]

From the New York Times come for the conclave. Don't stay for the food. The cardinals selecting the next pope will take their meals at a Vatican guest house. Conclave veterans said the fair was food you could eat at a train station. I guess that's maybe that's their impetus.

[Christy Lee]

To get out of there.

[Tom Griswold]

And yeah, the art and the article last week said prior to the Conclave, when they have they're going around having lunch with each other, et cetera, et cetera. There are a number of incredible restaurants. There was like a guide to where the best place for the cardinals to go.

[Chick McGee]

And by trading station food, one of the cardinal who refused to be identified. I mean, pastas with watery sauce, just cutlets and salads. Nothing exciting. There you go.

[Christy Lee]

They'll be back this afternoon for possible fourth or fifth vote. And it apparently some of the cardinals turned to the 2024 Film Conclave for guidance on the actual conclave this year. An unnamed cleric involved in the process admitted to Politico that some cardinals watched it in the cinema. The cleric said the film is seen as remarkably accurate, making it a particularly helpful research tool for cardinals from far flung locations who have little experience of Vatican politics and protocol.

[Josh Arnold]

There's no reason to doubt this unnamed cleric.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. A majority of cardinals participating were appointed by the late Pope Francis. They've never experienced a conclave, so they didn't know what to expect.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, Most of the men in there have never been in that situation.

[Josh Arnold]

Sure, sure.

[Tom Griswold]

All these Gen Z cardinals.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah, yeah, Gen Z.

[Tom Griswold]

By the way, what do we have a number on the youngest of these guys?

[Pat Godwin]

That's a good question.

[Christy Lee]

I can look it up.

[Pat Godwin]

Let's guess.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's probably a good guess.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

What'd you say, 58?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Most of them are. So in other words, the majority of these guys are what we would call a rookie key. Yeah. So they. They got to figure out what meet.

[Christy Lee]

The five youngest cardinals taking part in the conclave.

[Chick McGee]

Here they are.

[Josh Arnold]

What if they were just the hottest pictures of them.

[Chick McGee]

It's on our first date. What do you think would be a good restaurant food to have?

[Christy Lee]

15 of them are under the age of 60.

[Chick McGee]

Whoa.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Apparently the youngest cardinal elector is 53.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow. Not a bad guess, Pat.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And then.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, wait a minute. That. Sorry. But the important thing is 45.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, wow. Okay. Because if you come in second for Pope, you become the next Golden Bachelor.

[Christy Lee]

Ah.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, well done.

[Tom Griswold]

A great show coming up. We're going to talk with comedian Tom Papa. We're going to talk with race car driver Ed Carpenter. We're going to talk with comedian Al Jackson. We have bald men in the news. And interesting news from White Castle coming up. And interesting news from Yellowstone, all on tap.

[Josh Arnold]

Please tell me that White Castle now cures baldness and my world will be complete.

[Christy Lee]

I wish I could tell you that, but no.

[Tom Griswold]

Wouldn't that be great? We are broadcasting from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

For a complete copy of the Bob and Tom show contest rules, go to bobandtom.com contest rules or just scroll down to the bottom of the page and see contest rules. This is the Bob and Tom Show. This message comes from Greenlight.

[Tom Griswold]

Ready to start talking to your kids about financial literacy? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app that teaches kids and teens how to earn, save, spend wisely and invest.

[Jess Hooker]

With your guardrails in place, with Greenlight.

[Tom Griswold]

You can send money to kids quickly, set up chores automate allowance and keep an eye on your kids spending with real time notifications. Join millions of parents and kids building healthy financial habits together on Greenlight. Get started risk [e-mail] Spotify.

[Chick McGee]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Thank O'Reilly for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast. Jiffy Queek. From the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts, there's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Josh.

[Chick McGee]

Arnold. Hello, Jeff. Oscar's here, I guess for now. I'm Chuck McGee and I think the youngest pope is in his 40s is what I found.

[Tom Griswold]

44.

[Chick McGee]

Youngest pope, youngest cardinal.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, 45. I said 45.

[Chick McGee]

I didn't. I don't believe. I don't believe we were talking about my local blowchalk or something.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, he's from Ukraine.

[Tom Griswold]

My local what?

[Chick McGee]

My local blowchalk.

[Christy Lee]

That's his. He's from Ukraine.

[Tom Griswold]

His name is my local Blowchock.

[Chick McGee]

I, I think it might exactly be pronounced that way.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, Blowchock sounds like the name of a UFC guy.

[Josh Arnold]

Blow chalk.

[Christy Lee]

My. My cola by Chuck. So close.

[Chick McGee]

So very close.

[Tom Griswold]

Again, the news story suggests that because the majority of the cardinals that are voting in this thing have never been in a conclave because it doesn't. It's not like it happens every year.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

So. And then an unnamed source says a number of them watched the movie. Conclave.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Christy Lee]

To get an idea of what they had coming at them. I would do that, wouldn't you?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I don't know. I mean, how accurate is that movie?

[Christy Lee]

I still have an idea of how the politics work, how you have to walk up and put. I mean, I'm sure they don't have. They don't practice, do they?

[Josh Arnold]

I think that'd be bad luck to practice the concept.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. Right.

[Josh Arnold]

I think it'd be great if they went into the wrong movie. Like went into Eyes Wide Shut, and they just show up in a bunch of robes and weird masks.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

There. There are a lot of you. I'm gonna say 35 so far this morning. I've noticed online of AI generated popes at the Conclave, sitting around smoking cigars.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a dj.

[Chick McGee]

It's. It's amazing. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, we are talking with Christy Lee. She's right over there at the SILAC Insurance news desk. And what else is happening?

[Christy Lee]

Well, apparently there's a new survey out there, and we know how we love to do surveys here that say women find bald men more attractive than those with hair.

[Josh Arnold]

Boy, that's shocking.

[Christy Lee]

According to the poll of 2,000 women. Well, now, commissioned by Illicit Encounters, the top 10 most attractive features in men are.

[Chick McGee]

If you say, a sense of humor. I'm going to strangle you.

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Or is this physical feature?

[Christy Lee]

Okay, number 10, hairy chest.

[Al Jackson]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

Really?

[Christy Lee]

Number nine, green eyes.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a second.

[Josh Arnold]

Interesting.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you like a hairy chest?

[Christy Lee]

No. Tangles my nose when I lay on it.

[Josh Arnold]

But I've known a lot of women that love it.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, a lot of women are.

[Chick McGee]

You.

[Tom Griswold]

You're relatively hairy. Is that correct?

[Josh Arnold]

My chest isn't as hairy as you'd think. And so I've had some women be disappointed.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. I found it surprising.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, what?

[Chick McGee]

I'm sorry. My fault.

[Tom Griswold]

Aren't there people that get hair transplanted to their chest?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I guess. I don't know. I prefer no hair on a man's chest, but that's just me.

[Tom Griswold]

Boy, you ever shave a guy?

[Christy Lee]

Did I ever shave a guy?

[Tom Griswold]

You know, get in the shower, shave his back?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Josh Arnold]

How about his.

[Chick McGee]

What movie are you watching now?

[Tom Griswold]

I just. If I ask enough stupid questions like this, Christie often does the same thing. She'll stumble and slip and say something that really happened. It may be semi off topic, but it's always hilarious.

[Christy Lee]

No, I've never done that. Number eight, blonde hair. Number seven, high cheekbones. Number six, curly hair. These are the things that women find most attractive in men. Number five, dark hair.

[Tom Griswold]

So wait a second. In the top ten you've got three things about hair.

[Christy Lee]

Yep.

[Tom Griswold]

And you say bald men are number one, though.

[Christy Lee]

I didn't say that. You are not listening. Number three, blue eyes. Number two, bald head.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, number two, Tom.

[Christy Lee]

Number one most attractive feature in a man.

[Chick McGee]

A huge doll.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, well, kind of. Maybe. Muscular physique. The six pack over the bald head.

[Chick McGee]

The old muscular physique.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, yeah, that gets me every time.

[Chick McGee]

I got that going for me.

[Christy Lee]

Women like the dad bod. What the hell happened to that?

[Tom Griswold]

But the bald head thing, I mean.

[Chick McGee]

I think when you hear bald head, you think.

[Tom Griswold]

Think Patrick Stewart.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Not, not curly from the Three Stooges?

[Chick McGee]

No, but yeah, I think a full lush head of hair would beat a bald head. Yeah, but if it's a balding guy or a thinning guy, I think that's what women find objectionable.

[Christy Lee]

No, we don't.

[Chick McGee]

I think.

[Pat Godwin]

So the shaved head you like, right?

[Christy Lee]

I, I love my husband's hair.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, he has a full head of hair.

[Josh Arnold]

So where I'm at, Chick, you're saying this is less appealing than if I.

[Tom Griswold]

Were to shave your head?

[Josh Arnold]

Shave your head. Shave my head?

[Christy Lee]

Like I don't agree or whatever. I don't agree with that. I like your hair that way.

[Chick McGee]

However, shaved head and a beard throws me, it always has. I don't say anything, but I just let it go.

[Christy Lee]

Would you shave your head, Tom?

[Chick McGee]

No, see, he likes his sideburns. He thinks he's got William Kunstler sideburns. He likes that.

[Josh Arnold]

I like his sideburn, by the way.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the reference that Chick made, is he's a famous.

[Chick McGee]

Look him up. He has the magnificent sideburn.

[Tom Griswold]

Civil rights lawyer of. Defended the Chicago 7. Yeah, whatever. Yeah, but he, he did a. He had a terrible comb over. I never liked that. You'll have to agree with that. What do you think of that list, Chris?

[Christy Lee]

Do you think.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, nothing on there strikes me as being false.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, no, I mean I, I mean I've made it quite clear. I like a nice ab. I mean, yeah, sure, a healthy looking guy.

[Josh Arnold]

And you want a clean, you want a smooth ab.

[Christy Lee]

Yes. I'm not into the hairy guy.

[Tom Griswold]

The bald head thing, I mean, you've got like the Rock, right? And Patrick Stewart that I think there's.

[Christy Lee]

A and Jason Statham. I think it's become a lot more popular.

[Josh Arnold]

Stanley Tucci is now considered a sex symbol. So.

[Christy Lee]

Yes, especially.

[Tom Griswold]

Especially in that movie, the.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, God. Yeah, yeah, we're.

[Tom Griswold]

Women.

[Josh Arnold]

Love the cardinal outfit.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, we can move on.

[Chick McGee]

I think he wants us to be uncomfortable.

[Christy Lee]

I think so, too.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey.

[Christy Lee]

The health experts out there are warning you not to apply hemorrhoid cream under your eyes. The so called beauty hack has cropped up again on social media.

[Chick McGee]

Off label use.

[Christy Lee]

Yep. Users claiming it reduces puffiness, tightens skin, and even acts as a kind of under eye filler. However, dermatologists warned that hemorrhoid cream should never be applied under the eyes. Dermatologist Dr. Shireen Idris said some creams contain phenylphurin. Whatever. It's a vasco constrictor and steroids, a combination that can increase your risk of glaucoma. She added that the topical steroids can also thin out the delicate. Get skin under your eyes and over time will actually worsen the appearance of wrinkles and redness.

[Tom Griswold]

Gotcha. So you don't use hemorrhoid cream on your.

[Christy Lee]

Under your eyes for bad.

[Pat Godwin]

Conan o' Brien did this, famously talks about it.

[Christy Lee]

I know a lot of people that have done that.

[Tom Griswold]

That's. Then that's kind of off label use. But I do know that it is a good idea to use Visine on your anus.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, why is that?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you can take the redness out of your roids.

[Pat Godwin]

It's the brown eye.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. It doesn't work on green or blue eyes, only works on brown.

[Chick McGee]

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to writing a joke on the air.

[Pat Godwin]

In the first place.

[Tom Griswold]

Jeff. Absolutely wonderful that people do that. Really?

[Chick McGee]

Yes, They've always.

[Tom Griswold]

I want to say.

[Chick McGee]

Decades, ever since preparation came out.

[Tom Griswold]

Does Preparation H have an odor?

[Josh Arnold]

A little bit of like a.

[Pat Godwin]

If you put it on.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, I have it. I was going to say eventually, but that's good too.

[Josh Arnold]

It's a little bit like it. Just the odor any topical cream would kind of have.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Yeah, I just. If you put it on your eyes and you're having conversation with someone, they gotta go, no, man. I can't help but smell the H. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

No, it's not like Vicks Vapor Rub where you could really. You could be near the person and smell.

[Tom Griswold]

Is Preparation H A, Is it a cream or is it a suppository?

[Josh Arnold]

It's a cream.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

It comes in a tube.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. What color is it?

[Christy Lee]

White.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Kind of an off white.

[Tom Griswold]

No, I want it to be black. Oh. So that if you were a football player.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

Or a baseball player, you could put the eye black on and also take care of your roids.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, thank you very much. Coming up up, we're going to talk with comedian Al Jackson, comedian Tom Papa and more. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, thanks for listening this morning. Got something to say? Send us an email. Bob and Tom. Bob and Tom.com.

[Tom Griswold]

Lee.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. At the Psylac Insurance news desk, it's Christy Lee. There's Pat Godfrey.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Hello, Josh. Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi.

[Tom Griswold]

Chickster.

[Chick McGee]

He's the I hate Stephen Singer sidekick chair. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Jeff, Oscar. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Hello, Chick. I love that music. It feels like you're out there in a summer's day, piece of straw in your mouth.

[Josh Arnold]

I had one of those days yesterday. Not I didn't chew on a piece of straw, but some good yard work done.

[Chick McGee]

I thought this is like this, like tavern music, like bar music.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, it's good.

[Chick McGee]

Smokey harmonica doesn't mean a summer day.

[Pat Godwin]

Maybe a back house backyard barbecue.

[Chick McGee]

No, no, it's a bar.

[Josh Arnold]

Were I making a movie, this is what I would say for the Smokey Tavern. I, I agree.

[Chick McGee]

Not. I'm walking outdoors looking for Becky Thatcher.

[Tom Griswold]

Becky Thatcher, Hot.

[Josh Arnold]

Was she a redhead?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't remember.

[Chick McGee]

I don't think we ever got an accurate, accurate description of Becky.

[Josh Arnold]

It's been a while since I've read those.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, I was just trying to place us in a, in a mindset of, of happy outdoor summer.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, it is definitely, it definitely suggests Weimer weather.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

There we go. Now we have Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk. Okay, Christy, what's good? You sound discouraged.

[Pat Godwin]

What's going on?

[Chick McGee]

There's a lot going on here that we're, we're trying to behind the scene, scenes, keep the inmates in the asylum. I'm looking right at you, Daddy. Go ahead.

[Christy Lee]

So during the break, you were out in your car.

[Pat Godwin]

With you.

[Christy Lee]

You know, you know, I'm sorry.

[Tom Griswold]

I couldn't.

[Chick McGee]

I don't want to. I don't want to. We have a reasonably successful program here, you know, and you're outside, you're down the hallway, you're, you're wandering around in the break room. You're, I mean, that's okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I wander, God knows, grabbing some delicious Java House coffee.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Pat Godwin]

Out in your car.

[Tom Griswold]

I had to get something out in the car. Add the posters that I had made for the special thing we're doing for. With Java House. We're doing a special broadcast and we had to redo the posters because Pat wanted the puppet of Pat. Not even a real picture. He wanted the puppet to have his dark eyebrows. So I redid it.

[Josh Arnold]

Good for you, Pat.

[Pat Godwin]

Thank you.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So here's the old one from yesterday. Pat has a white, unrecognizable. Can't even.

[Pat Godwin]

Who's that?

[Josh Arnold]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. Here you are. I thought maybe the guitar would give it away, but you do have those really dark eyebrows. You look kind of like. What's the movie?

[Christy Lee]

Dye those.

[Tom Griswold]

Sean Connery looked like that. Yeah, well, he was the Admiral. Remember that one?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Hunt for Red October.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Great movie. Let's. Let's go to Christy Lee right now.

[Christy Lee]

A woman who's been called America's favorite cougar really become the oldest model ever to collaborate with the adult toy company Fleshlight. 57 year old only fans model Elena St. James will have a replica of her mommy Barts made into the pleasure device for men.

[Josh Arnold]

So the I feel nothing is available now. It looks like an oven mitt.

[Tom Griswold]

So this guy.

[Pat Godwin]

This is so mean.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. Explain to me. The Fleshlight is so it. Look, it's the size of a flashlight, but it has an insertable sleeve.

[Josh Arnold]

Exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

But they're. They actually. Do they take a mold of her actual.

[Josh Arnold]

They do for many porn stars and stuff.

[Christy Lee]

You act like you've never seen one. We've had one in here.

[Tom Griswold]

I never, certainly never held one with any intent of using it.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I've never used one either.

[Tom Griswold]

All right. What's wrong with them?

[Josh Arnold]

That's shocking. I'm a pervert.

[Tom Griswold]

Are the previous Fleshlights too immature for.

[Christy Lee]

I mean, she's made an amazing amount of money on only fans as.

[Josh Arnold]

What's her name?

[Christy Lee]

Her name is Elena St. James.

[Josh Arnold]

Let me take a look at this.

[Christy Lee]

E L A I N a Elena St. James. She's pretty. She's buxom lady.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, Jugsy, would you say?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, so I prefer Juggies.

[Tom Griswold]

How does this differ from the. The standard Fleshlight? Does it require more lube?

[Christy Lee]

Hey, wait a minute. Not everybody's dried up.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, she doesn't look old.

[Christy Lee]

No, she doesn't.

[Josh Arnold]

How old is she?

[Christy Lee]

57.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Pat Godwin]

That's not old.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, no, she's a little old.

[Chick McGee]

All right, let me get a look. What's her name?

[Christy Lee]

Elena St. James.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, good for her.

[Josh Arnold]

She's not. I'm personally not attracted to her, but she's fine. She's just not my type, I guess. I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Now with. With only fans, can you sell stuff? So is she allowed to pitch this thing?

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, she can. Now she can't sell it via that site, but she can pitch it.

[Tom Griswold]

She can say, go to so and so to find my.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I don't know if I'd put a picture of me up on my Instagram that makes me look cross eyed. That's just me.

[Josh Arnold]

That's. I'm with you, dude.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, yeah, right, right.

[Christy Lee]

The TMZ story that I read had a picture that looked a little.

[Chick McGee]

There you go, Jeff.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, what the hell are you doing now?

[Josh Arnold]

Now she is juggy and. Oh, here she is bending over. Let's take a look at that. Well, all right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, let's.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know. Not for me. I'm just right up.

[Chick McGee]

Roll address. Huh? All right.

[Josh Arnold]

But good for her. Make money. She's going to sell a ton of her.

[Chick McGee]

When did that first start happening? Like those body parts being manufactured in a big time way? I don't know, but I remember both male and female.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm still like, I have no interest in those.

[Chick McGee]

That. Yeah, that doesn't seem like anything I could.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but they also do this for the male.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Porn stars. They'll make a copy. Absolutely. Male member.

[Josh Arnold]

That makes more sense to me for.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, well, but that's your. You've always talked about plaster cast or whatever the heck her name was.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, the plaster caster was a famous woman in the history of rock and roll that would do that to all the rock stars.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, okay.

[Chick McGee]

Plaster caster there. And she did Hendrix though, Right.

[Josh Arnold]

I remember seeing a real sex on HBO where they had a guy and a girl both go in to get plaster casted. And while the guy was. Well, because he had to be erect for so long.

[Christy Lee]

How do you stay that way?

[Josh Arnold]

He had like one or two girls, I don't remember, but one was like kind of licking his neck and like with him the whole time to sort of keep him aroused.

[Christy Lee]

Because that plaster of Paris is cold when it goes on, I would think.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

And it takes a while to firm up.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

How do they get. Do they have to chisel it off? How do they.

[Josh Arnold]

No, I don't remember. I don't remember them like having to break it off.

[Tom Griswold]

Like when you have a cast removed.

[Josh Arnold]

It wasn't as. It was not as crazy as that. Like, I didn't have to use one of those vibrating saws, but did the.

[Tom Griswold]

Guy just want it for posterity? When he was an old man, he was getting paid.

[Josh Arnold]

He was getting paid to have his wiener. He essentially licensed them as wiener.

[Tom Griswold]

So this woman.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, a licensed dildo.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So this woman is going to have her actual.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

But wouldn't that be dangerous to have that done to the inside of your body?

[Christy Lee]

I don't think they've got to use plaster. They use.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Some other kind of. It's the same stuff they use on when they take somebody's face.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, no, for like, a special.

[Tom Griswold]

They can take her face. They could take her nose and make Groucho glasses.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, geez. Do you have a song?

[Chick McGee]

My friend Tom's not wrong.

[Tom Griswold]

That's quite a honker she's got.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, she's made a lot of money. Give her credit.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's a wonderful. Good for her.

[Pat Godwin]

Would you like to hear a little Neil diamond tribute?

[Christy Lee]

I would love this lady.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

I found a friend. Oh, I met her online But I can get much closer now. Some bold of her vagina. I went to only fans and there's Elena St. James. She's 57, 7 years old and I'm proud to tell the world. Now she's a flashlight the oldest cougar you can really feel. Oh, it might not be a tight seal but what a sweet, sweet deal. Cause now she's a fleshlight it might be a little slack. Exact duplicate of the front. Naughty in back. Maybe the oddest Neil diamond hit of all time, actually.

[Chick McGee]

Turn on your heart light.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I didn't turn on your heart.

[Pat Godwin]

When I said flashlight. Heart lights.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, I didn't make sense. I just don't recognize that song.

[Christy Lee]

You don't?

[Tom Griswold]

No. Sorry.

[Pat Godwin]

Huge hit.

[Tom Griswold]

It was a huge hit.

[Pat Godwin]

It was about ET.

[Tom Griswold]

Busy listening to D. Decent. To decent music.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, it wasn't a good song.

[Josh Arnold]

Trust me, an unlikely hit.

[Pat Godwin]

It came out after the movie. He wrote it about ET when they.

[Chick McGee]

Talk about motivators of man, they're gonna say Lombardi, Rockney, and Griswold. Never let anybody feel too good about what they're doing. Okay. And keep everything secret.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, I didn't recognize it at all.

[Josh Arnold]

I know what the hell you're doing.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, that was something else.

[Pat Godwin]

I was out in the car. Listen.

[Chick McGee]

I was out in the car changing the oil. I don't know what you talking about.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe you could have done, like, maybe a parody of that be Carry me Back to old Virginia. Remember that?

[Pat Godwin]

I think mine worked just fine.

[Christy Lee]

See, I've never heard that song.

[Josh Arnold]

He's his argument against your.

[Tom Griswold]

I.

[Josh Arnold]

Let's say semi obscure hit is to have an even more obscure hit, right?

[Christy Lee]

That wasn't a hit, was it?

[Chick McGee]

It.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

Back to old Virginia.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah, that was.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, everybody's got that.

[Tom Griswold]

I've got a plaster of her vagina. It's perfect. And you could do it.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, I wasn't going to do this, but I am now. Here we go. Game one when the Celtics lost to the Knicks. In between that and the second game that the Celtics also lost. Paul Pierce, a former Celtics said if they. If the Celtics lose again. Well, I'll let him tell you, he said there was no way the Celtics were going to go down 20 to the new York Knicks. And that's of course what happened. So today, Paul, this is when he was. He said, here we go.

[Josh Arnold]

Celtics lose game two at home. I promise you I'm walking here tomorrow. I'm walking here.

[Tom Griswold]

Why you gotta do it? Wait a minute.

[Al Jackson]

I'm walking here.

[Josh Arnold]

15 miles.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm walking here. I don't know. Pete, this is your friend in my robe, in a row, no shoes on. Somebody's saving bare feet.

[Jess Hooker]

If.

[Tom Griswold]

What if the.

[Josh Arnold]

Something's lose tonight.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, my God.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, don't do it, Paul.

[Al Jackson]

I'm walking, I'm telling you right now.

[Tom Griswold]

Take the serious. No, take it.

[Chick McGee]

And they did. And we will see if he will. So There you go.

[Christy Lee]

15 miles is a long way.

[Chick McGee]

No shoes, bare feet, in a robe.

[Christy Lee]

Where does he live?

[Tom Griswold]

Is this in New York City?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, Los Angeles. Oh, it's Fox. Fox Sports, whatever. Wherever they are. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. Yeah. Barefoot in la.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that's all right though. I mean, if you had to be barefoot, I guess.

[Tom Griswold]

Any sidewalks? I mean walking.

[Chick McGee]

Not up on the topographic.

[Tom Griswold]

The freeway. I'm just asking.

[Chick McGee]

Good question.

[Tom Griswold]

It is a fair question. I bet he doesn't do it right now. The Bob and Tom show is.

[Chick McGee]

Can we follow up tomorrow if he does do it?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, if he does.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. All right.

[Tom Griswold]

The Bobby Tom show is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is all about helping you with your mental health. Mental health awareness growing and a lot of progress to be made, of course. But 26% of Americans in a recent survey said they've avoided seeking mental health support due to fear of being judged. When people hesitate to get help, it doesn't affect them. It impacts just everybody around them and them. I should say this is a mental Health Awareness Month. So we would encourage everyone to take care of their well being. One of the ways to do that is to break the stigma, as they say. And part of that is taking care of yourself. And if you're interested in doing that, BetterHelp is really interesting. It's a way to access therapy online and they've been doing it for a while now. More than 30,000 licensed therapists are participating in the program and 5 million people estimated to be currently using BetterHelp. So see what it's all about. And if you've been shy about perhaps going to some kind of counseling, this can really be an interesting way to ask to, to, to get to it because you're doing it online. You take a kind of a questionnaire online and you'll be matched up with one of those 30,000 licensed therapists. You can switch therapists anytime, no additional fee. And the therapy is done online. So you're not going across town to an office. You can do it wherever you want to be, when you want to do it. Get all the [e-mail] btshow the BT show part, that'll knock 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E L P betterhelp.com btshow Coming up, we're gonna talk with comedian Al Jackson, comedian Tom Papa and more. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. There's Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance Company news desk.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Josh Arnold]

Pat Godwin's over there with his guitar and his keybard.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

Jeff Oskay across the way. Hello, I'm Josh Arnold at the I Hate Stephen Singer Sidekick chair. Chick Magee is here and there's Tom Griswold.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much. We're gonna hook up in a second here with comedian Al Jackson. Also coming up, comedian Tom Poppins. All right, are we getting Al right now or do you want me to? Because I do have a request here, Pat.

[Christy Lee]

What?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah, yeah. You have a famous song about a. Well, I'll have to read the news story about it and then we'll get to it. The it involves a man in Tennessee who was actually charged with a felony, made a video of himself dipping his testicles into salsa. He was, he was delivering it to a, a customer and he apparently had received an 89 cent tip and had to drive 30 minutes each way. The 31 year old man was arrested and charged with adulteration of food for a Delivery service known as Dinner Delivered Adulteration.

[Al Jackson]

How about that?

[Tom Griswold]

The alleged testicle dipper had suffered a severe penalty, but apparently he is accused of putting both his testicles into the customer. Salsa. Salsa. And. And filming it.

[Pat Godwin]

You got a request?

[Tom Griswold]

Because I have a nice request for this. Yeah. They'd like to hear the.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

Because someone heard the song La Bamba and thought it sounded kind of like that.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh, I see. I said, did I ruin their lives forever?

[Tom Griswold]

Huh? Yes, that's what he says.

[Pat Godwin]

I dip my balls in the salsa. Yeah, I dip my balls in the salsa. I call it balsa. That's balls in the salsa. That's what you get for not tipping. Yes. My testes. I'm dipping. By the way, Mr. Cheo, I rub your taco on my be. That's right, you heard me say it. Balls and salsa. One of my big hits. Balls and the salsa. I call it ball salsa. It's but biggest hit. Balsa.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much.

[Pat Godwin]

One of my big hits.

[Tom Griswold]

Tom says Mr. Sunberg from Raleigh, North Carolina requested that. He said he can't stop singing it. It's the greatest song I've ever heard.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah, that's not wrong.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Thank you, Mr. Sunburn.

[Pat Godwin]

He has dark eyebrows, honey.

[Tom Griswold]

And hello. Raleigh, North Carolina, Beautiful place. Do we have any luck getting Al hooked in? Okay, we're still. We're still waiting for Al.

[Christy Lee]

Authorities in Florida arrested a woman not for salsa, but she attacked her wife with nachos. The 40 year old victim was making nachos with nacho cheese in the kitchen when our 39 year old spouse, Allison Swan, told her she shouldn't be eating this late and made a comment about her weight.

[Chick McGee]

And by the way, Tommy, stop.

[Pat Godwin]

Nacho cheese in the kitchen. Tell the wife to stop bitching, start losing some weight and then she might look great and I would dip, dip, dip.

[Christy Lee]

During the ensuing argument, the suspect allegedly grabbed a handful of the cheesy nachos and shoved them down the back of the victim's leggings.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, violence.

[Christy Lee]

Until a friend of the victim called 911 and officers responded to the home. The 39 year old Ms. Alice, by.

[Tom Griswold]

The way, those are called snachos.

[Christy Lee]

Was arrested for domestic battery in order to have no contact with the victim.

[Tom Griswold]

It's her wife.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, it's a fight. That's a fight.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Josh Arnold]

Boy.

[Pat Godwin]

Back of the leggings.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, back of the leggings. That's gotta be hot.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, you know, that's when it costs extra. If that happens, it costs extra. You throw the guac in and it cools it down. You talk about taco, little taco burn there. You got a bunch of potential talk. Oh, is that. We are ready with Al now. There we go. Okay, very good, very good. We were trying to get hooked up with the satellite. We have a comedian, Al Jackson, joining us. And that's a good looking, good looking jacket. Al, you real cold? Is that a winner, Jack?

[Al Jackson]

No, I just, I walk around the house fully dressed. Is that weird?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, that is weird.

[Al Jackson]

I think something's wrong with me, Christy. Like, I don't really relax in terms of my dress. Like, I don't wear sweatpants and robes. Like, I'm always dressed like I'm ready to go, like to the store or to a meeting at all times. So, yes, I wear jackets in the house. I don't. It's not even cold. I'm just, I'm transitioning into my older black man butterfly face.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you have one of those, what do you call it? A go bag? What's it called? Chick, where you could.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, you mean like $50,000 and make a. Some sort of beard and a set of false identifications. Identification sunglasses, things like that.

[Tom Griswold]

You just grab it and go.

[Chick McGee]

Big floppy hat. Sure.

[Al Jackson]

I had an earthquake kit when I lived in LA because I just couldn't stand the idea that, like, there would be an earthquake and they're like, you need to fend for yourself for like 72 hours. And my kids would be like, dad, did you prepare for this? And I'd be like, sure, what do you got? So, yeah, I did have an earthquake kit, but I don't have it to go back. That's like, I feel like you gotta have a cool job for that. Like, somebody might be trying to take you out. Like a professional.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Did you ever. I would think being a stand up comedian every once in a while you get. What do they call it? A fallout. What's that called? When.

[Pat Godwin]

That's.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, when somebody at another club can't. Although you get a phone call Friday morning, hey, can you get in an airplane and be here for tonight's show?

[Al Jackson]

Oh, and, and I will do that. I don't, I don't know if any of our listeners have ever experienced the joy of traveling with no luggage. Like when you get that call and you just leave, it's like 11am and you're coming back 6am the next morning. You're like, those clothes you have on will have to do. All right. So you're gonna have to take, you know what bath when you get to the Hotel. But then you got to put those clothes back on and just pretend like they're fresh. Go get some downy Refresher. That's. I've done that before, too.

[Christy Lee]

Have you really?

[Al Jackson]

Oh, yes. Because I don't know if it's the same for women, Christy, but for men, if you don't wear deodorant and you're like, two hours into the. To the date, you're like, somebody in here stinks, and you're like, oh, that's me.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Al Jackson]

And then you have to do a panic move because you've already funked your clothes up a little bit. The downy little Refresher. That spray.

[Christy Lee]

Sure. Ring releaser.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. I just like the use of the word. You've funked your clothes up.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that is very nice.

[Al Jackson]

There is. There's. There's a funk that men can get under the pits. And it's weird because it's not even like you've been working out funk, because that's just sweat. There's a funk when you're like, I didn't put deodorant on and things are falling apart. Like, I have had to do that before now.

[Chick McGee]

Are you?

[Al Jackson]

And, you know, in a pinch time.

[Tom Griswold]

Al, we were discussing deodorant not too long ago because Josh had to break up with his deodorant. It was kind of sad. After many years you had.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, after. I'm gonna say, three to five years, my. My deodorant will just quit my body.

[Al Jackson]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

It's no longer.

[Tom Griswold]

How did you know?

[Josh Arnold]

A certain number of days go by where I know I'm wearing deodorant, but that funk that Al is talking about creeps in.

[Tom Griswold]

I mean, were your friends saying something?

[Josh Arnold]

No, just me.

[Pat Godwin]

I knew it. Two years, though.

[Tom Griswold]

I knew.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, did you?

[Josh Arnold]

I didn't say anything.

[Tom Griswold]

Al, are you loyal to a particular deodorant? And let me preface this by asking your father, who was a distinguished attorney, did you. Was your dad, like, a right guard guy, or did you follow in his footsteps?

[Al Jackson]

It's funny, because both of those two questions. One, my dad's deodorant was actually the one reason that I actually won an argument with my ex wife, because men never win arguments. But my dad wore secret. Like the light blue secret ph balance for a woman.

[Christy Lee]

Yes. But made for a man.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes.

[Al Jackson]

That's all he had. Of course, we've talked about my dad before. Tom, you have to understand, like, my dad didn't buy deodorant from cvs. My dad would get it by the shipping container from Sam's club. So I. When I grew up, I had those all around the house. I now wear a secret. And one time when I was still married, I came home from the road and my ex wife found it and I was like, that's my dad's. And she was like, yeah, right. She goes, call him on the phone, call him on speakerphone and ask him what deodorant that he wears. And I did. It was like the one time when a man is right and you're just confident. You're like.

[Tom Griswold]

And by the way, that episode tells me why you got divorced. But we'll get back to your story now.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, no, Al, I've had numerous people email me in discussions about when we've had discussions about deodorants. Recommending Secret.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it is.

[Al Jackson]

It is all I wear. Josh, it smells great. And I mean, look, I have it at my house. Once you go secret, fellas, once you can get past the baby blue, I may try your life.

[Tom Griswold]

It's interesting. I've asked this often about. There are certain products that you use because your parents did. I, my mother used Tide and I use the same kind of butter. All that stuff because my mom did it. That's interesting, though, about deodorant.

[Al Jackson]

It just stops working.

[Tom Griswold]

Is there a. I like to ask you to speak for all black men of your age. Gotcha. Is there a specific deodorant that you think is pitched toward the African American in advertisements?

[Al Jackson]

Well, I mean.

[Tom Griswold]

Or a cologne?

[Al Jackson]

Well, no, I mean, as it pertains to deodorant. You know me, I'm obsessed with commercials because I feel like they're the only true barometer of honesty because they want your money. So they've done the research as to who buys their property product. And now Dion Cole is the pitch man for Old Spice. The black woman from whatever that show is.

[Chick McGee]

Yep, that's her.

[Al Jackson]

And so I think that that's because, remember, Old Spice used to be talking about the stuff your dad used to buy. Tom, my uncle Donald and my father. Our house was all Old Spice and ban roll on deodorant. Like that's what we had in the house. So now I feel like there's been this change where they tried to get younger and like, more like, I guess I don't know if they intended it for black people to buy it, but they. There's a reason Dion Cole is their pitch man.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, and it was Isaiah Mustafa before that. That hot model on the horse.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, the guy that was half horse.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Well, now the guy's in the shower. It's pretty nice to look at, let me tell.

[Tom Griswold]

But I mean, your premise, I. You back up two or three thoughts. You're exactly right. The honesty of commercials, because they've done the research. They know who their audience is or the, or who they want it to be.

[Al Jackson]

Exactly.

[Tom Griswold]

So, you know, there was a time when you saw an ad for cool cigarettes, there wasn't a picture of Lester Maddox in the billboard. Put it that way. Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

And sometimes, like, products are aimed towards women and it's just like, super interesting to see, like, the demo that they're targeting. So, I mean, commercials are my favorite thing I see.

[Tom Griswold]

If you're just joining us. Hello. How are you? It's good to see you. Thanks for being here. This is the Bob and Tom Show. We're coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee is over there at the SILAC Insurance news desk. Al Jackson joins us via satellite from Denver, Colorado. And Al is a standup comedian. Are you on the road this weekend?

[Al Jackson]

I am not on the road this weekend, but I'm back with Frank in Toledo at the Funny Bone right outside of Toledo in Perrysburg, Ohio, starting on the 15th of this month.

[Tom Griswold]

Month.

[Al Jackson]

So check out my Instagram for all my upcoming dates with myself headlining my Instagram, Al Jackson, ig. Al Jackson ig. And come check me and Frank Calendar out on the road. We've been having a blast with your son Willie.

[Tom Griswold]

Willie G. Is a part of that show. Yeah. That'll be great. Now, Al, we have just enough time for you to help me with the world of language. And you have a word, a hipper word.

[Al Jackson]

I have one. It's a word that you definitely know. Know, but maybe not in the context to use it. When would you ever use the phrase nurse with an exclamation point?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that's nurse. I, presumably this is someone at a bar, they would, they would go, oh, nurse, and then need another drink. Or in a, in a romantic context, famously in, in the movie Carnal Knowledge where Jack Nicholson says it to Ann, Margaret, oh, nurse. And then she comes over and he, you know, clearly gets involved with a little bit of.

[Chick McGee]

Okay. Yeah. Is that right, Al?

[Al Jackson]

No, there, there's an exclamation point on this one. And that's what makes it different. And how it's used today is nurse was originally, like, kind of first used in, like, RuPaul's Drag Race when they started saying that your outfit was whack and then it transferred into just regular life. So if you walk into a party and everybody's like, is Josh wearing a turtleneck with shorts? Somebody would be like, nurse, like, this man needs help.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Al Jackson]

Which I actually like.

[Tom Griswold]

That's kind of.

[Josh Arnold]

It kind of makes sense. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And thank you for picking Josh wearing the turtleneck with shorts.

[Al Jackson]

Josh, come on over to Secret Man. We're waiting for you, baby.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, man, I'm really. I'm very close to trying it now.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you own a dickie? No, I'm not talking about Dickies, the clothing line, but the. The. The faux turtleneck, I guess made famous in Christmas Vacation. Yeah, one of the. One of the vacation movies where he's got the fake turtleneck and you can see it through in the white sweater.

[Al Jackson]

Oh, that cousin. What was his Randy. Cousin Eddie, the best side character. There's never been a side character that's stolen more scenes than Cousin Eddie. Yeah, like my favorite side character.

[Tom Griswold]

Anyway.

[Al Jackson]

Anyway, I do not own a dicky. Do they still make those?

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, they do. Yes. You want me to order you one?

[Chick McGee]

All I know is that I had, like, kind of. I want to say seven or eight when I was a kid.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Chick McGee]

And now I don't have any. Yeah, like high school, maybe sophomore year, I stopped wearing dickies. I. I don't. I don't remember it being a contrast.

[Tom Griswold]

I remember at Mercer. At Mercer elementary School where a kid reached in and grabbed another young man's dickey and pulled it out over his head.

[Chick McGee]

Head.

[Josh Arnold]

This is fake yuppie bullies.

[Tom Griswold]

We started young.

[Al Jackson]

Of all those 50s.

[Christy Lee]

I can get you a Dickie today. 23.99.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Al Jackson]

Christy Lee, will you get me a leisure suit? One of those coming back.

[Christy Lee]

I don't know.

[Chick McGee]

I kind of want one. Man, I. When they were in, I didn't like.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, here's one for nine bucks.

[Tom Griswold]

Made famous by the Six Million Dollar Man. Yeah, he always wore those. Really awful. Yeah. Lee Majors.

[Chick McGee]

I wasn't a big $6 million.

[Tom Griswold]

I was on. Okay, well, thanks, Al. We gotta run.

[Christy Lee]

Love ya.

[Tom Griswold]

See ya.

[Josh Arnold]

See y' all.

[Tom Griswold]

Coming up, we're gonna talk with comedian Tom Papa right now. I'm gonna Talk with Chick McGee about.

[Chick McGee]

Simply Safe, the Do It Yourself Peace of Mind Bringer Security system. That's right. And go to simplisafe tom.com right now for an incredible deal. Millions of Americans enjoy the new standard in home security. Greater peace of mind every time they arm their Simplisafe system. Traditional security systems only take action after somebody's broken in that's too late. They're touching your stuff. SimpliSafe has Active Guard Outdoor Protection, AI powered cameras backed by live professional monitoring agents that protect your property and detect suspicious activity. If you have a lurker, agents from Simplisafe can see and talk to them in real time, turn on spotlights and even call the police. All before they have a chance to get inside your house. No long term contracts or cancellation fees. And monitoring plans start affordably at around a dollar a day and there's a 60 day satisfaction guarantee or your money back. Now go to simplisafetom.com right now and get 50% off a new system with professional monitoring plan and your first month free. That's simplisafetom.com 50% off in your first month free. There's no system safe like simply safe.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you very much. I'm sorry, I'm a little bit discombobulated over here. I'm trying to get my absentee ballot for the conclave in.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

How do you spell Pietro? We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Get a look at today's show on our YouTube channel. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance News. Des. There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Chick.

[Chick McGee]

Of the Fleshlight song fame. Perhaps you caught that earlier. My gosh.

[Pat Godwin]

Killed it.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Jeff Oskay's here. I'm Chick McGee and I believe, Tom, we have a special guest, is that correct?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, I like to sing the great Bob Seeger song, come to Papa. Whenever we're fortunate enough to talk with the great comedian Tom Papa. And we have him on the phone right now, I think. Can you hear me, Mr. Papa?

[I]

Yes, you do.

[Tom Griswold]

There we are.

[Josh Arnold]

Hi, Tom.

[I]

Good morning.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Now, Tom, is. Is Tom Papa your real name or was Papa shortened from something else?

[I]

It is a real name. It's an Italian name from Sicily.

[Chick McGee]

Oh.

[I]

Which means the Pope.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Chick McGee]

Well, we don't want any problems with Sicily, am I right?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah, we're not trying to.

[Chick McGee]

It's fine.

[Tom Griswold]

It's cool. Big fan. Good food and all their.

[I]

A lot of Greek people always think that I've shortened my name and that I'm really Greek. And I said to a driver once, he's like, ah, you're Greek. I said, no, that's my name. It's never been shortened. He said, where are you from? I said, we're from Sicily. He goes, yes, we owned it first. You're Greek.

[Chick McGee]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, because I was wondering if it might be Papadopoulos, which is kind of a famous Greek name. Tom Papa on the road doing stand up comedy. Lots of spots coming up, including Atlanta, Clearwater, Lafayette, Cincinnati, Marietta, Ohio, Ocean City, Maryland, Erie, Pennsylvania. You're on the road pretty much all summer, it looks like. Do you get home much?

[I]

Yeah, I'm going pretty hard. We just announced a whole bunch of new dates and I saw them on Instagram. Like we put a little post up and I saw all of the cities that I'm going to go to and I decided to take my wife's phone and take Instagram off of her account.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[I]

As soon as she sees. Because I always tell her, I'm like, oh. People ask, you seem like you're on the road a lot. Yeah, I go like once a month maybe. My wife just rolls her eyes. She goes, I don't even know who this person is.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, Tom, there, when you were a regular on the show live from here, you would be in a. In a city and you would do a quick, not a quick, a pretty thorough analysis of the city. Always very funny. Do you try to do a little something like that when you're on the road? Do you have time to investigate, navigate wherever you're going to be and talk about it a little bit to the audience?

[I]

Yeah, I do. I spend usually the. I open my act that way. I'll spend like, you know, five minutes just kind of talking about what's going on there. The good thing is I've been on the road touring as a comedian for a long time, so I kind of have an idea of the place before it. You know, I usually am flying in, getting to the hotel, getting to the gig, so. So what I'm trying to say is the first five minutes, I pretty much lie that I've been walking around town all day.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, you spend a lot of time in hotels. Do you have a particular ritual? If there are two beds in the room, do you sleep in the one closest to the bathroom, closest to the window?

[I]

Yeah, I'm always closest to the bathroom wherever. If it's a big bed, I'm always in like that side. I always think about that on. I'm like, why don't I just have. Why aren't I spreading in the middle of this bed? Why am I in my little slot over here? Like, my wife is still snoring next to me.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I always, yeah. Whenever I'm in a, in a hotel by myself, I always sleep in the same side of the bed I would sleep on if I were at home. I'm not sure what that means.

[I]

Yeah, it's weird.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. But do you, do you set up pillows in the shape of your wife over there just in case you can reach over. Hey, I'm lonely.

[I]

Yeah, I just, yeah, I cuddle up with my imaginary. It's funny how you go back all the way to the beginning of when you were a teenager. It's like, oh yeah, here's my, you know, I've been through girlfriends, I've gotten married, but in the end here I am in a hotel with my original girlfriend. The pillow.

[Tom Griswold]

At least I guess the accommodations are probably better now than back in the day when you started. Although what you were, you were doing the touring in the days of the so called comedy condo. I'm sure you stayed and I'll explain that to the audience. A comedy club would have a condominium or whatever arrangements so that you would be staying in the same space that say John Fox had been in the previous week. So God knows what kind of filth was left behind. So I'm sure you experienced some interesting, what's the word I'm looking for some interesting quarters to live in while on the road. As a young comedian, they were a nightmare.

[I]

Those, those places that the club owners would save money by not having to pay for a hotel. They would get some cheap condo and they would let every comedian that came through stay there. And then you would come in and they would always try and clean it, but you would just find the horrible evidence of horrible activities.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, so true.

[I]

Yeah, like things were always sticky. There was always wrappers of things you didn't need to see. I was living in New York and I had one of those comedy condos in Atlantic City which is about a two and a half, three hour drive from Manhattan. And I came down there, I checked into the condo, I saw what was in there and I just rather. It was a week long gig, I drove home every night rather than stay in that condo.

[Tom Griswold]

No, thank you.

[I]

John Fox is the perfect name.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Oh yeah. We, we even have a song about his adventures in the various comedy condos. Our guest is comedian Tom Papa, once again hitting the road after all these are you do take on opening act with you or do you just do it yourself? What's going on with respect to that?

[I]

I've got, I've got four different people around the Country. Who. Who open for me. I've got, I think, Paul Morrissey. I think he's been on your show. And even Rogers and Andy Fury and Kira Sultanovich. And I make them stay in condos. I don't want them to get too cushy. I had to pay my dues. I think it's important that you open up a refrigerator and see Chinese food from 1993.

[Tom Griswold]

Before we let you go. You are, besides being a comedian, something of an expert in the world of baking bread. Are you keeping up with that?

[I]

Yes, I. Before I got on the phone with you, I was just tending to my sourdough starter.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow. I remember reading in Kitchen Confidential the chapter about this. Various starters, et cetera, et cetera. And it was described as being sort of a mystery with a bunch of lunatics who all become bread bakers. Did you ever read that chapter from Anthony Bourdain talking about you people that do that? And I do mean you people people.

[Christy Lee]

It's an art form.

[I]

I have to say. Your. Your question about bread and then my telling you how I was tending to my beloved starter. Your lack of enthusiasm in my response was kind of heartbreaking.

[Tom Griswold]

I assume someone's done this before, but I'll give it a shot. Do you ever go for Tom Papa? Papa's got a brand new bread as you're shoving it in the oven.

[I]

My natural sourdough starter. I was just feeding it and keeping it alive. This natural yeast that feeds my family. Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, how about that now, do you.

[Chick McGee]

Is there. Is. Is there.

[Tom Griswold]

Just a second. I'm trying to rescue myself here. Everybody be quiet. Tom, is there a sort of a Tom Papa exclusive bread that you have created that is unlike any other, that everyone loves?

[I]

Yes. I do have this olive loaf that's green olives, kalamata olives, herbs de Provence, and lemon zest. And that one blows people's heads off. You would consider it as exciting as a saltine cracker.

[Tom Griswold]

But I think this is interesting. Tom Papa creates beautiful bread. John Fox used to eat Twinkies. Ergo, the difference.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, Tom, thanks a lot. We'll look forward to seeing you live and in person soon.

[I]

Always great to touch base with you guys.

[Tom Griswold]

Thanks for having me, and I'm sure you're just delightful. Sorry.

[Christy Lee]

Have you ever tried to do a starter, a sourdough?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no. I wasn't being mean. I'm serious.

[Christy Lee]

It's the hardest. Of course, I killed it within two weeks.

[Pat Godwin]

What's a starter?

[Christy Lee]

You have to keep a jar in your refrigerator of the sourdough starter. And you have to feed it yeast. And that's what you use to make.

[Tom Griswold]

Your bread, which really go to the grocery store.

[Christy Lee]

Exactly.

[Chick McGee]

But you're not supposed to feed it after midnight, right?

[Josh Arnold]

That's exactly right. Multiply it.

[Chick McGee]

All right.

[Tom Griswold]

Anthony Bourdain's chapter on it. It's, it's, the guys that are the bakers are in their own world.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah. The ladies and guys that do that are.

[Tom Griswold]

And they're very, they're very secretive and if you get near it, they throw machines machetes at you. I highly recommend the book Kitchen Confidential. Great. Talking to. I'm sorry, you're not going to read it, are you?

[Josh Arnold]

I would like to. I do. That is one. I'm interested.

[Pat Godwin]

Great.

[Josh Arnold]

Actually, I'd like to hear the audio of that.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, it is, it's. It's excellent. In any event, let me explain that we're going to continue to do this in spite of everything else. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. And the last time I checked, this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Add to or continue the conversation. Check out the Bob and Tom show on Facebook. Get the [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Generac dealer.

[Josh Arnold]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee's over there at the Silac Insurance Company. News down.

[Christy Lee]

Hey, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

There's Pat Godwin.

[Pat Godwin]

Hello, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

Jeff Oskay is across the way. Chick McGee stepped out. I'm Josh Arnold at the I Hate stevensinger.com Sidekick chair. And there's Tom. Tom, we're joined by a very special guest.

[Tom Griswold]

We're joined by a race car driver. He is Ed Carpenter. I. Don't be offended. The chick had to leave. He. He has to meet the electrician at his house. There was an incident.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

That's all I meant.

[Ed Carpenter]

I feel like I need to hear about this.

[Tom Griswold]

Are you, are you handy around the house? I mean, obviously you spend your whole life around automobiles of race cars.

[Ed Carpenter]

Not too bad. And my last name's Carpenter, so.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, there you go.

[Ed Carpenter]

You have to be somewhat.

[Tom Griswold]

Right. Not only do you drive a race car, you own the team. I do.

[Ed Carpenter]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I mentioned that, I mentioned this earlier. Does this make you a little more sensitive to not hitting the wall because you gotta, you gotta buy all the new parts?

[Ed Carpenter]

No. I think in some ways I'm probably more understanding than other owners. Just because I'm still driving and, and you know, you're never Nobody ever wants to crash. It doesn't feel good as a driver. So, you know, but you have to. You have to push the limits to succeed, and accidents will happen.

[Tom Griswold]

What's the dumbest thing you've ever done to damage a car, maybe not even on the track?

[Ed Carpenter]

I don't.

[Tom Griswold]

The correct answer would be, I've never done anything.

[Ed Carpenter]

Yeah, well, surely I've done dumb things. You know, I think probably one of the early lessons I learned my rookie year, I was driving for Eddie Cheever, and I got into an accident. I can't say that it was my fault, but I kind of like tossed the steering wheel out and he got. He got really angry about that. So that was a one and done type of experience. But, you know, race drivers are never totally at fault.

[Tom Griswold]

So you're getting ready for the 109th running of the Indianapolis 500?

[Ed Carpenter]

Yeah, we're getting ready to kick off. We're on track tomorrow for the Indy GP and. And then Tuesday we'll get practice underway for the 500.

[Tom Griswold]

You're also one of your sponsors, happens to be the sponsor of this building right here. This is the. I got the poster over here, the Java House, the official coffee of the Bob and Tom show, et cetera, et cetera. You'll notice we made the poster. We have puppets of the group here.

[Ed Carpenter]

I saw that on the door when I was coming in.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, the one you saw is the old one. I had to redo it yesterday because Mr. Godwin's puppet didn't have black eyebrows, so I changed them for him.

[Ed Carpenter]

Perfect.

[Tom Griswold]

Happy now, Pat?

[Pat Godwin]

Yes, it was incorrect.

[Tom Griswold]

We fixed it.

[Josh Arnold]

Yes, it was incorrect.

[Ed Carpenter]

So did you reprint or did you just Sharpie?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no, no, that's the exact.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, we should have just sharp.

[Pat Godwin]

You know what? That would have worked.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a minute.

[Ed Carpenter]

That's a good, good job for.

[Tom Griswold]

I spent $147 for no reason and three hours.

[Christy Lee]

You should have made him Sharpie his own eyebrows when he signed them.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I still have. I still have a stack of the old ones.

[Christy Lee]

There you go.

[Tom Griswold]

We can get the Sharpie out and fix them.

[Ed Carpenter]

So useful.

[Tom Griswold]

How about that?

[Josh Arnold]

Thanks a lot.

[Tom Griswold]

Our guest is race car driver Ed Carpenter. How fast will the cars be going as they qualify for the Indianapolis 500 this year in your estimate?

[Ed Carpenter]

I mean, I think it'll be in the 232 to 233 range. You know, we have a new hybrid engine in the car this year, which. Which is interesting and kind of a different wrinkle than what we've ever had. At the speedway. So there's potential for a little performance there. But it's also added weight so we don't really know, you know, kind of what, what it's going to be just yet. We had the open test and did some high boost running, but you know, I think it'll be pretty similar, maybe a little slower than last year. But you've been around Indy long enough and we always talk about the weather, you know, a lot of the speeds.

[Tom Griswold]

Can you tell the difference between going 220 and 230? Can you physically tell or is it all on the meters?

[Ed Carpenter]

Yeah, you really, you really do.

[Josh Arnold]

So.

[Ed Carpenter]

So obviously not everyone may know, but when we go to qualify the two qualifying days and the day prior, they, they turn up the boost on our turbocharged engines. So we get a, a pretty significant increase in speed and power. And you know, you wouldn't think that it would feel like that big of a jump from 2:20 to, to 2:40 top speeds that we kind of see in qualifying. But it is, it is pretty dramatic once you.

[Tom Griswold]

I think I'd start getting sobbing at about 150.

[Ed Carpenter]

Well, that's why you're here.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Ed Carpenter]

And have you done a two seater?

[Tom Griswold]

No, no. I would.

[Christy Lee]

That goes to what, 180?

[Ed Carpenter]

Yeah, it's like 180.

[Christy Lee]

You can do that.

[Tom Griswold]

They have a two seater where the ones the, the passenger is seated in back of the driver and you get to find out what it really is like to be in a race car.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I'd love to do. I think I'm too big.

[Ed Carpenter]

You're not too big.

[Christy Lee]

You're not too big.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Ed Carpenter]

I've seen much larger, larger folks than you.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I'd love to do it then.

[Christy Lee]

Well, then I think we'll make that happen.

[Tom Griswold]

We can make this happen. Yeah, you do it.

[Pat Godwin]

Just Josh, seriously.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Huh.

[Christy Lee]

I did it and I'm a big puss.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes, but you're a small, big puss.

[Christy Lee]

That's true.

[Tom Griswold]

So you got.

[Pat Godwin]

You did it.

[Christy Lee]

I fit in there, but it was that my claustrophobia putting that helmet on was.

[Tom Griswold]

Has your husband Andy done it?

[Christy Lee]

Yes, I bought it for him for his birthday two years ago. Mario drove him. It was very cool.

[Tom Griswold]

I hope you said right before he got in something about life insurance and.

[Christy Lee]

How you just got married yet.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, okay. Never mind.

[Pat Godwin]

Should have waited.

[Tom Griswold]

We're speaking with Ed Carpenter. He is a race car driver. He'll be driving in the 109th running of the Indianapolis 500. Also, the previous event takes place this weekend, right?

[Ed Carpenter]

Yes, correct. Yeah, Saturday.

[Tom Griswold]

And that differs in what way?

[Ed Carpenter]

I mean, it's at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, but it's on the road course, so the cars will be running backwards or the opposite direction down the front straightaway than what we do the rest of the month of May.

[Tom Griswold]

But they will be driving forward.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, they're not.

[Ed Carpenter]

They will be driving forward.

[Tom Griswold]

That would be so cool.

[Ed Carpenter]

Just going from turn one to turn four.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, that should be a special race, the all reverse.

[Christy Lee]

That's an interesting thing. Does the car have reverse?

[Ed Carpenter]

They do. They do have reverse. I don't know that we have reverse gear in for the overall, but for the road and street races, it does have reverse.

[Christy Lee]

There you go.

[Ed Carpenter]

So it's possible.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Ed Carpenter]

Now, I don't know what I think the top speed would be pretty slow. It would be a totally different experience.

[Tom Griswold]

Somewhere there has to be a world record for the fastest person ever to drive in reverse. Oh, of course.

[Pat Godwin]

I wonder what that would be.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, my God. It would only be fair, though, if.

[Christy Lee]

We'Re on it only be straight down a straight line.

[Tom Griswold]

That wouldn't be fair. It'd be much cooler to have what's the fastest in reverse on an older oval. That'd be fascinating.

[Ed Carpenter]

I think A.J. foyt the fourth, has that record. 1. It was 2004 or 5. He spun in qualifying out of 2 and, like, literally went down the whole back stretch in reverse.

[Tom Griswold]

Whoa. Whoa.

[Ed Carpenter]

It's a good. It's on. It's on the Internet.

[Tom Griswold]

Do we. Is there audio of what he's saying?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Wouldn'T be. Wouldn't be audible. Once again, we're speaking with that carpenter. He's been driving race cars for a long, long time. Did you start in go karts when you were a kid?

[Ed Carpenter]

I started in quarter Midgets, which, you know, it's either that or go Karts. But, yeah, I started in quarter Midgets and kind of worked my way through the USAC system midget sprint cars, and then got into indie lights and ultimately made my way to IndyCar. Do you ever do a long time.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you ever play the video games?

[Ed Carpenter]

I used to, but not so much anymore. I can out outgrew that as I've. As I've gotten older. During COVID I did some of the iracing simulation stuff that we were all doing to kind of keep entertained.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you guys have an official simulating thing that's much more sophisticated than a video game?

[Ed Carpenter]

Oh, yeah, yeah. The team, we. We use one that Chevrolet has down in North Carolina, and we're There quite often. It's. It's pretty amazing.

[Tom Griswold]

You strap yourself in.

[Ed Carpenter]

Yeah, it's. It's like getting in a real car.

[Tom Griswold]

And you wear a helmet and everything.

[Ed Carpenter]

Not anymore. We used to, but they've kind of changed the. It's not necessary. You're not hitting any walls. So we just.

[Tom Griswold]

With respect to your vision or anything, it doesn't. They don't want you to be feel.

[Ed Carpenter]

I mean, it's honestly when you have your helmet on or don't have a helmet on, your vision's about the same for. For what you see in the car.

[Tom Griswold]

It wouldn't matter for me because my eyes would be locked shut.

[Ed Carpenter]

That's why I want to see you come out and do the two seater.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no, no. You don't understand. Joshua.

[Ed Carpenter]

I thought we were all I'll be doing.

[Christy Lee]

Do you think you would have Indy car Tourette's like you get when you're on?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, absolutely. I should explain what this is. I invented this. You have children. You know what this is like. You try not to curse in front of them. However, at Kings Island, I discovered on roller coasters, I cannot stop cursing and screaming. I am so terrified.

[Ed Carpenter]

Well, in the car no one would hear you. So children would be safe.

[Christy Lee]

They like them. If we were.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm getting a sales pitch right now.

[Christy Lee]

We would mic.

[Ed Carpenter]

I want to see this happen.

[Christy Lee]

I found the fastest.

[Ed Carpenter]

I mean, I'll drive you even worse.

[Tom Griswold]

I'll do it.

[Ed Carpenter]

Oh, thanks.

[Tom Griswold]

It'd be great. I mean, you still try to scare me. How fast did they go in the.

[Ed Carpenter]

It's like 180.

[Christy Lee]

They have a governor on it so they can't go faster.

[Tom Griswold]

The governor gets on too. Have you ever. Have you ever driven?

[Ed Carpenter]

I have, yeah. I did when I was young, early in my career. I did it a lot.

[Tom Griswold]

But did you ever take any celebrities on it?

[Ed Carpenter]

Yeah, actually this past October I was out there giving some rides for a friend of mine and Vice President Pence was out there fulfilling a Christmas gift from his wife and I ended up taking him for a four lap runs.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Ed Carpenter]

That's kind of cool.

[Josh Arnold]

Did he cuss a lot?

[Ed Carpenter]

Not that I could hear.

[Al Jackson]

Yeah, but you should have seen who.

[Tom Griswold]

He was cussing, guys.

[Ed Carpenter]

That was kind of. It was a pleasant surprise and fun to be able to say, that's great.

[Tom Griswold]

Ed Carpenter. Look for ed on the 109th running of the Indianapolis 500. And he'll be driving a Chevrolet and he'll be. Do you. Can you drink coffee before you do the Indy 500 do you have to be.

[Ed Carpenter]

I mean, you can drink whatever you want other than alcohol, so. You know all the Java House products. Oh, they do have a Espresso martini mix.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, of course. I. What I meant was, do you have to be careful to drink things like caffeine or drink too much or too little?

[Ed Carpenter]

No, I mean, I drink probably two cups of coffee a day every morning, so it'll be the same on race day as it would any other.

[Tom Griswold]

Do you eat before the race?

[Ed Carpenter]

As much as I can.

[Tom Griswold]

Really?

[Ed Carpenter]

Yeah. I mean, you're getting anxious and nerves, so it's. It's harder to eat. But yeah, I try to eat at least a two.

[Tom Griswold]

And sometimes you guys will be sitting in the car for quite a while if there's some kind of a problem.

[Ed Carpenter]

Yeah, well, like last year, we had such a rain delay, you know, ended up having a couple meals before we raced that day.

[Tom Griswold]

But you get to get out of the car. But if you're stuck there, do you have any idea what. The longest you've ever been in any given car for a particular time? You had to sit there for three or four hours.

[Ed Carpenter]

Yeah, I mean, on practice days, it's not uncommon to be in the car for, for two and a half, three hours. And, you know, nowadays the race is not. Not much over two hours.

[Tom Griswold]

Is there ever. Is there a code for, if I don't get out of this, I'm going to pee in my Nomex suit?

[Ed Carpenter]

Uh, I, I just can't do that. I've tried. I've actually tried a couple times when I was. Let it go uncomfortable. Um, some drivers do regularly, but yeah, in, in the race, it's not that bad. You go before the race. And even though I'm getting older, my bladder still has good capacity.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, well, best of luck.

[Ed Carpenter]

Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll be watching for you. And you'll be a number. Is it.

[Ed Carpenter]

I'll be number 33. Yeah. So it's a kind of a blue and green Splenda Stevia Chevrolet.

[Tom Griswold]

All right.

[Christy Lee]

Really cool colors. I had the opportunity of going over to the race shop recently and seeing the car. It's really pretty.

[Tom Griswold]

Is the number 33 particularly significant for you?

[Ed Carpenter]

I mean, our team numbers are 20 and 21. And when IndyCar has a block of numbers, which there's not that many open available, but my birthday is March 3rd, so 33 made sense. Yeah, first time I used it. But no, I don't really care as long as the car is fast.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. But we hope to see you number one.

[Josh Arnold]

How About.

[Tom Griswold]

Exactly. Thank you very much. Yeah. Ed Carpenter. Ladies and gentlemen, without any further ado, I've got to tell you about Stephen Singer Jewelers. One last time, Christie, you want to help me? What kind of bracelet do you like?

[Christy Lee]

The At Last Bracelet. It's a gorgeous bracelet from Stephen Singer. It's got a vintage line look. Real diamonds, but a great cost point. Does that mean. Was that what I want?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. Price point. Yeah, sure. And it is real diamonds, but while very affordable. One last shot.

[Christy Lee]

You've got bang for your buck.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, thank you. A lot of. A lot of people are thinking, hey, Mother's Day. It's Sunday. Oh, my God. I'm in trouble. I hate stevensinger.com is the place to go. There is still time to get those roses. There's a collection of exclusive colors. They start at just 59 bucks. They come in an impressive box. But today you're gonna have to choose overnight shipping. Usually the shipping is free, but if you want it overnight, it's $19.75. Go to ihatestevensinger.com Stephen Singer, the home of real diamonds and beautiful, real roses dipped in gold. A rose that will last forever. Only available at Steven Singer Jewelers. Get all the information. I hate Stephen Singer. Thank you again, Ed Carpenter. We'll see ed in the 109th running of the Indianapolis 500. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Josh Arnold]

Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. We've got news coming from the Silac Insurance Company news desk. Pat Godwin's there.

[Pat Godwin]

Hey, Josh.

[Josh Arnold]

Jeff Oskay across the way. Hey, buddy. I'm Josh Arnold with the I Hate stevensinger.com sidekick chair. And there's Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, this is great.

[Josh Arnold]

It's a sausage fest, isn't it?

[Tom Griswold]

It's the He Man Woman Haters Club. All the ladies are gone. Christy had to attend to something. Chick McGee has meeting is meeting an electrician at his house for the second day in a row.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Getting that all worked out.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Should we get Hooker in here?

[Josh Arnold]

Absolutely.

[Tom Griswold]

Why don't we get Ms. Hooker in here? I didn't. She's busy doing some other stuff. But we can grab her. Get her in here. Christy Lee had to go to another event. I guess we just don't matter anymore.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no. He dropping like flies.

[Pat Godwin]

There she is.

[Josh Arnold]

Here's old Jess enthusiastically entering the studio.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, hi, Jess. Good to see you. Your hair looks really nice now. I like It.

[Josh Arnold]

You seem reluctant to come in now.

[Jess Hooker]

Nice.

[Tom Griswold]

Now it had to regain its natural curl.

[Jess Hooker]

Well, well, I know you guys know this about Tom. If he. If there's something off putting about your appearance, he just doesn't talk to you. He just ignores you. And he hasn't liked the way I've been styling my hair and I changed it up today.

[Josh Arnold]

Meanwhile, the rest of the world loves it.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I love my hair. I like it. But it is growing out and so I had to find a different way to style.

[Tom Griswold]

It has a nice little flip curl.

[Jess Hooker]

A little curl.

[Josh Arnold]

Looks happy.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's try a new experiment here. This is called handing you news you've never seen before and having you read it.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, I don't like this game.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. What does the piece of paper on top say?

[Jess Hooker]

Man gored by a bison in Yellowstone national Park.

[Tom Griswold]

Let's go for it.

[Jess Hooker]

National park officials say a man was gored by a bison in Yellowstone National Park.

[Pat Godwin]

You know, I heard that somewhere.

[Jess Hooker]

And it. The incident occurred in the Lake village area of the park. The 47 year old from Florida reportedly approached the animal too closely for a selfie and was attacked.

[Josh Arnold]

Of course. And I say fine. Good.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

There's not a barrier between the people.

[Tom Griswold]

No animals.

[Jess Hooker]

You just walk right up there and.

[Tom Griswold]

There are thousands of them there. I think what, three or four thousand of them in that park?

[Josh Arnold]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know.

[Jess Hooker]

He sustained minor injuries and was treated on site by emergency medical personnel.

[Tom Griswold]

God.

[Jess Hooker]

Authorities report that bison will defend their space when threatened and have injured more people in Yellowstone than any other animal, including grizzly bears. Yikes.

[Tom Griswold]

By the way.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. The. They just need more signs that say mind your own business there.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, yeah, I bet there are signs. Do not approach animals.

[Tom Griswold]

They are. They are absolutely told.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

This says they are unpredictable and can run three times faster than human. Humans.

[Josh Arnold]

So you're not gonna outrun it if you make it mad.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

These jackasses think I'm. I've seen bull fighting.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm gonna do some freelance bullfighting with my iPhone. It'd be interesting to know how many people are killed trying to take a selfie every year.

[Jess Hooker]

It seems like a lot. This story comes up a lot. Or this situation.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

So off a cliff, a bridge.

[Tom Griswold]

Now what is this? What is the next story there? Say?

[Jess Hooker]

White Castle, One of my personal favorites.

[Tom Griswold]

Sure. This is a great story.

[Jess Hooker]

White Castle is teaming up with the shoe company Heelys for an unusual spin on footwear. The limited edition collection of White Castle branded Healey shoes feature A tongue that looks like a cheese slider.

[Josh Arnold]

How about that?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Are Healey's the ones with the wheels in the back?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. Yeah. And do you have to hit a button for them to pop out? Like, can they be regular shoes?

[Josh Arnold]

I have no idea when they.

[Tom Griswold]

I remember when those first came out, they eventually banned them at one of the local malls.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. The airport. Airport.

[Tom Griswold]

They were great.

[Josh Arnold]

From what I understand, if you walk, you can just walk regularly, but if you want them to roll you. That's why they're called Heelys.

[Tom Griswold]

You lean back.

[Josh Arnold]

Back on your heels, and then you can.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, so cool.

[Jess Hooker]

They will be available in sizes you 13 to men's 13 and cost $75.

[Tom Griswold]

And they've got. They've got. I think they're one of them. There we go.

[Chick McGee]

I was.

[Tom Griswold]

One's black, one's kind of white, and they've got all kinds of White Castle logos. That's fun and stuff on them. And like you said, they. The top of the tongue. Tongue is kind of a cheese slider.

[Josh Arnold]

And the shoeboxes. It looks like a crave case.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

The shoes will be sold exclusively on Healy's website beginning May 15, also known as National Slider Day.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, we got to remember that.

[Jess Hooker]

We do next Thursday.

[Tom Griswold]

I had no idea.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, by the way, the only difference is these don't slide on wheels. They slide on hamburger grease.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, that's interesting.

[Jess Hooker]

You guys just go cheeseburger slider when you.

[Tom Griswold]

You go onions.

[Chick McGee]

Right.

[Josh Arnold]

But somebody introduced me to the double cheeseburger.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

And it's got a really. It's very nice.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. When was the last time you had.

[Tom Griswold]

A White Castle here in here?

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, same here.

[Jess Hooker]

I did buy a crave case recently.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I may have missed it, but the last time wasn't here. It just seems like it's been a while.

[Jess Hooker]

Mine was last Thursday.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Girl.

[Jess Hooker]

I was at the BMV for three hours, and I thought, I deserve a reward.

[Pat Godwin]

Treat yourself.

[Tom Griswold]

Were you getting your star license?

[Jess Hooker]

I was.

[Tom Griswold]

Driver's license.

[Jess Hooker]

I was. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Good for you.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, Josh is not going to get. When he's protesting.

[Josh Arnold]

I got mine, like, 2016. I got mine when I moved before.

[Jess Hooker]

It was a big deal.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I think the. I think the average state has had them available for, I want to say, 16 years.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, wow.

[Tom Griswold]

So if you don't have it by now, leave the country. Yeah, I don't. I'm. Don't give me this. I can't get anything.

[Josh Arnold]

I just don't understand why. How it's different. Why it's different.

[Tom Griswold]

They did it because. I'll be delicate here. Certain states had, shall we say, lesser standards when it came to issuing driver's license and for obvious reasons with request to terrorists, with respect to terrorism, etc. They wanted to make sure that there was something resembling a standard.

[Josh Arnold]

I see. A federal standard, essentially.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

So I was missing a document, had to drive to the courthouse, get it and come back and they let me cut in line.

[Josh Arnold]

I think that's nice.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Goes if you come back today, I'm not going to make you wait.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Thank you.

[Tom Griswold]

I did it a few years ago, as you know. And it took. It was three trips.

[Pat Godwin]

Yep.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Pat Godwin]

Tom and I went.

[Josh Arnold]

It took two for juries. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I only look, I don't get any bills at my. I don't get mail at my house. So I couldn't prove I lived there.

[Josh Arnold]

So I lived.

[Tom Griswold]

I may have. I may have taken a bill and altered it rather quickly.

[Josh Arnold]

Some things federal offense, some things altered.

[Pat Godwin]

Tom's very good at it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I did a job. Great. Great job. Yo. I did a great.

[Pat Godwin]

You were so enthusiastic that meet me back at the station. Then you had the right. The knife and the.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah. You know, you got to beat the man.

[Josh Arnold]

Beat the man. I bet it was kind of thrilling.

[Tom Griswold]

I was born in this country. I just can't prove it. In any event, I. Yeah. We have to remember the White Castle thing and the White Castle shoes are where I didn't hear you are.

[Jess Hooker]

Where are they Available exclusively on the Heelys website site starting next Thursday.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

I can remember when those Heelys first came out. How cool. Do they light or is that.

[Jess Hooker]

I think some did. I think. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I haven't seen anybody using them for a long time. They were so popular for just a moment in time.

[Jess Hooker]

I would love them. I love to roller skate.

[Tom Griswold]

And what was cool about those was all of a sudden out of nowhere you could be flying by somebody. It's awesome. Hey. Hello. If you're just joining us. So this is the Bob and Tom show show. A special edition of the Bob and Tom Show. Christy had to go somewhere. Chick had to go somewhere and it was just an all boys show. And then I saw Miss Hooker walk by and we. We lassoed her. Is it lassoed or less sued?

[Pat Godwin]

I think she was hiding from us.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. I don't think she wanted to come in.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't know why. Happy to have you here. Thanks. And this is an opportunity for you to join us in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios for the Bob and Tom Pro program. I have handed you a stack of news you've never seen before. What is the next one headlined?

[Jess Hooker]

The next headline is, wildlife experts in Florida say they removed nearly 100 iguana eggs from a single yard.

[Josh Arnold]

I bet I can guess the first sentence.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Wildlife experts in Florida say they have removed over 1000 eggs. Iguana eggs from a single yard.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

That's because you don't read the headline.

[Pat Godwin]

That's the title.

[Josh Arnold]

But you told her to read the headline line, so she did.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I forgot about the fact that I edited these that way.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay, I'm going to skip to the second.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Jess Hooker]

Humane Iguana Control said they extracted a total of 98 eggs from three burrows on just one property in Miami. That's too many.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, how many? I wonder how many eggs an iguana lays on an average.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, I don't know.

[Josh Arnold]

Birthing.

[Tom Griswold]

But see, the problem is the iguanas don't belong there. They're not. They're an invasive species and it's a problem. Much like. Did you see the thing with the sewer? Did you send me that? The, the guy.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, the python.

[Tom Griswold]

That was in Florida, right?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. It's not a big python in a sewer. Yeah. They had to lift it out with a. A front hoe. Oh, like an excavator. It's a big pipe and it's like 12ft long.

[Tom Griswold]

It was blocking a toilet, right? Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Wow.

[Jess Hooker]

That makes me see those.

[Tom Griswold]

Those don't belong there either, but sure. So they're trying to catch these iguanas before they become.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. The organization explained that the removal prevents a significant new infestation of the invasive species and protects the neighborhood from potential damage.

[Tom Griswold]

Now, so that was story one.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

I labeled the other one Iguana two.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Now this is the one that you're going to find, I think, very interesting.

[Josh Arnold]

Who are you talking to?

[Pat Godwin]

It's even better than iguana one.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay. A man in Florida is doing his part to reduce the invasive iguana population one egg at a time, eating them. John Johnson, owner and founder of Down Goes Iguana, has been removing the reptiles for years, but decided to do something different when it came to getting rid of the eggs. He told HBBH TV that he cooks up iguana eggs much like you would a chicken egg, combining the rich yolks with some milk, Latin inspired spices and garlic, before whipping them into an omelette with diced ham, peppers and onions.

[Josh Arnold]

How about that?

[Jess Hooker]

There you go, Mr. Johnson. Quipped it doesn't get more Florida than this.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, no, it sure doesn't. You throw some meth in, maybe it.

[Pat Godwin]

Is salt and pepper.

[Tom Griswold]

You do it naked, you eat it.

[Josh Arnold]

Out of a Mickey hat.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. That's Florida. So it's all the taste of chicken eggs with none of the convenience. I took the liberty of doing a little homework here.

[Jess Hooker]

I see that and I.

[Tom Griswold]

Did I give you the list?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

This is kind of interesting of what other eggs from critters are actually edible.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Now do you have any guesses?

[Josh Arnold]

Well, besides foul. So because we all know duck eggs, all that is fine.

[Jess Hooker]

We have duck eggs at our house here year round.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

They're.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. I was at a restaurant huge weeks ago, and they. And they huge served duck egg on something. What is the. Does it taste the same?

[Jess Hooker]

It tastes exactly the same. Yeah, it tastes just the same. It's just a lot bigger. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

How did you pay for them?

[Jess Hooker]

I put them on my bill.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, you did.

[Pat Godwin]

No hesitation.

[Josh Arnold]

She didn't want to say it.

[Tom Griswold]

I. I would. I wouldn't have gotten it. I'm too. I was thinking ducats. I. I was.

[Josh Arnold]

Duckets. Isn't it? Which is a pun appropriate for that.

[Tom Griswold]

See, I would have even gotten the pun wrong.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

It says here that duck eggs are rich, creamy, and used in baking dishes. Okay. And. But goose eggs are twice the size of chicken eggs, which. That's my. Been my experience with duck eggs too, that they're. They're twice, if not three times more rich in flavor and good with pasta. So if you're making a cobalt carbonara.

[Josh Arnold]

Huh.

[Jess Hooker]

You can use goose eggs, octopus eggs. They're tiny, tiny, nutty, and often eaten raw in Japan.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay. Well, they can continue to do without help from us. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Obviously.

[Tom Griswold]

Turkey eggs with octopus eggs. Would there be little octopuses in them?

[Jess Hooker]

No, I don't think so.

[Josh Arnold]

Probably closer to row, but a bigger row.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Yeah, that's true.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. What other eggs can you eat?

[Jess Hooker]

Turkey eggs, obviously. Pretty much the same. Quail. Quail. I brought in quail eggs. Do you remember that?

[Josh Arnold]

When I do.

[Jess Hooker]

We did. What is it? Toad in a hole. What's.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, yeah, you cut the hole in the toast.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I love that.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, we did.

[Josh Arnold]

Boogity boogie, I believe is what Tom.

[Tom Griswold]

Close.

[Jess Hooker]

You got emu eggs. Okay. Crocodile. Ostrich.

[Tom Griswold]

Crocodile eggs.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, that's what it says. Risky to harvest.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, go get those crocodile eggs from that mom.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. Oh, my gosh. The ostrich eggs are the largest eggs. 2, 000 calories in one ostrich.

[Josh Arnold]

I watched Gordon Ramsay cook an ostrich egg in a wok, and it almost filled the entire wok up. Whoa. From one egg. So you can make like a frittata with one? Yeah, no, you could make multiple.

[Tom Griswold]

Wow.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, and like a hotel pan. And you just need the one. Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

You've got to be yoking.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Tom Griswold]

Not gonna do that.

[Josh Arnold]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Du cots. Take a walk up apartment oh, Pat. No.

[Josh Arnold]

You learn nothing. You gotta be yoking.

[Pat Godwin]

Should I sit with Tom?

[Tom Griswold]

I don't want those lizards. I don't wanna eat them. Oh.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh. That's three in a row.

[Josh Arnold]

You know what? If you can't beat them, join them.

[Chick McGee]

You know what?

[Josh Arnold]

I'll make some of these just for the shell of it. Thank you kindly.

[Tom Griswold]

Time now to say hi to our friends at the Silac Insurance Company, proud sponsors of the Silac Insurance news desk here in the Bob and Tom program. And this portion of our show is brought to you by the folks at Silac. What is Silac all about? Well, it's about your future and being able to relax, knowing that. But whatever happens down the road with the stock market, you're okay. Because with an annuity, it's all written down what you're going to get. And you can't even die. You're going to have money all the way down the road. You can die eventually, sure. I mean, they're not guaranteeing eternal life.

[Pat Godwin]

Are you talking.

[Tom Griswold]

That would be. That would be really awkward. I think I might have misspoke there. What I meant to say is you can't outlive your money.

[Josh Arnold]

I mean, you can't even die when.

[Pat Godwin]

You get this stuff.

[Tom Griswold]

If.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, honey, I think we should go with Zylog. You can't die together.

[Tom Griswold]

The eternal life offer is void in all states and most of Canada. Quick, a quick pun. What is. What are annuities? It's all about countering the, shall we say, volatility in the stock market. If you watch any of those stock shows, most of the pundits are going, the key to this is not looking at it, okay? With Silac, they're going to be doing all the work for you. You got that money coming every month. You just walk out to your mailbox. Or you can even have it directly deposited. It's that simple. Find the details from someone who knows what they're talking about by going to silacins.com or. A real easy way is to make a quick phone call to £2 50. Use the keywords lifetime income. You'll get a bunch of information about how you can get that lifetime income. Call pound 250 and just say lifetime income. An annuity from the Silac insurance company. Plan on it. Live on it. Silac S I L A C I N S dot com. Then on a different voice, Tom said eternal life offer was made strictly for comedic purposes. You'll notice for community purposes, it failed miserably. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Just gotta get a hold of us. Call, text or email. Get all the contact information you [e-mail] this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Tom Griswold]

Saturday Beer brewery.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey, it's the Bob and Tom Show. We're live from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Jess Hooker is joined us us. There's Pat Godwin, Jeff Oskar's there for now. I'm Josh Arnold and there's Scooby Dooby. Now there's Tom.

[Jess Hooker]

This sounds different.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm over here drawing Van Halen.

[Tom Griswold]

I, I want to go back a story. First of all, a chick had to go home and meet the electrician. Christy, I believe is doing a house show. She's trying to sell a house.

[Pat Godwin]

Oh yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, that or she's meeting the carpenter who is building the structure from which she can hang herself if the house doesn't sell. Yeah, it's, it's kind of a, kind of a gallows. In the meantime, I'm here and we did this, we did this news story. Let me find it and. I'm sorry, Pat, I didn't realize you didn't know what we were talking about. No, I didn't. The story was the headline. Is White Castle and Healey's team up for new footwear? Where Heelys. I didn't explain it. It's my fault. Heelys. I guess it's because my boys loved them so much. They're like tennis shoes but they have these sort of hidden wheels in the back.

[Pat Godwin]

I remember seeing them. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And you, and you, can you walk them and you lean back and you can go flying by. They're super cool and they were a big thing a long time ago, but they're back and now there's a, a special slider version from White Castle. So I wonder if your son, he.

[Pat Godwin]

Might, he'd probably like it a lot.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Find him kind of cool, dangerous at all.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, probably. For you and I, I think a 14 year old boy would do just fine.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah, they could be, I guess.

[Josh Arnold]

But they're going for the slider pun, right?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. And. But I didn't even know they still had Heelys out there, so.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Anyway, Pat, I'm sorry you didn't understand what was.

[Josh Arnold]

They don't look ridiculous. No, I would wear them.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, no, they look like high tops. Yeah, right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

If they weren't Heelys, I would wear them.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're all right.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, now let's get back to the news desk. Sitting in at the Silac Insurance News. Sitting in for Christy Lee, it's Jess Hooker, who has not had time to proofread any of this stuff. What do you got?

[Jess Hooker]

I feel like I should say that there's a trigger warning with this story. It's a little intense.

[Josh Arnold]

All right.

[Jess Hooker]

A South Carolina man has been arrested for allegedly hiding in his ex girlfriend's shower and threatening her with a knife. Knife?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jess Hooker]

He claims it was a prank.

[Josh Arnold]

See, I'm just joking.

[Tom Griswold]

By the way, it's about to get worse.

[Jess Hooker]

Oh, it's get gets way worse. The 25 year old suspect, Mr. Jackson Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, my cousin.

[Jess Hooker]

Allegedly entered his ex's home in Charleston, hid in the shower, covered his face with a pair of the victim's bike shorts and waited for her to return.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay, that's this guy.

[Jess Hooker]

The man.

[Tom Griswold]

Wait a minute. Okay, so far, so bad, right? Again, we're going up the ladder of awfulness. It's about to get worse.

[Jess Hooker]

The man who was not wearing pants or underwear emerged from the shower.

[Josh Arnold]

Hey.

[Jess Hooker]

Threatened the victim with a knife and allegedly choked her.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, my goodness.

[Jess Hooker]

The suspect told his ex he was pranking her and just wanted to talk.

[Tom Griswold]

Gotcha.

[Pat Godwin]

That's not a prank.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. The suspect told responding officers that he wanted to lighten the mood since he and the victim had been arguing over text messages.

[Josh Arnold]

A lunatic.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. WCBD reports that the man was arrested on charges of assault and battery of a high and aggravated nature first degree burglary and possession of a weapon during a violent crime.

[Tom Griswold]

Sheesh.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. And you wrote a song about this?

[Pat Godwin]

No. Tom said we should do a song this segment. Then he went to a different story. I thought I don't have a song about this.

[Tom Griswold]

You know, this is. This is the new Norman Bates Challenge. Yeah, it's boy.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

No pants. No pants, no underwear.

[Josh Arnold]

Her boy shorts over his face.

[Tom Griswold]

Over his face. Hey. Hey.

[Pat Godwin]

He is naked from the waist down, but she did not recognize him. Is that what she.

[Jess Hooker]

No, she, I. She didn't say.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm sure. She was terrified. Yeah, I would think.

[Pat Godwin]

And he's not taping. There's no.

[Jess Hooker]

No, apparently.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a fair question.

[Jess Hooker]

Right?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, I know that if I'm arguing with someone via text, that wouldn't be my first response. To lighten the mood.

[Josh Arnold]

No, no.

[Jess Hooker]

Breaking and entering.

[Josh Arnold]

You threaten them with a knife and choke them.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. You know what'll make this better?

[Josh Arnold]

While you're choking him. Isn't this a good joke?

[Chick McGee]

Why aren't you laughing?

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, just kidding.

[Tom Griswold]

Ashton Kutcher is going to come from on the corner pranked you. Gotcha.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. He needs to go to jail for a while.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, I'm sorry. What else have we got over there?

[Jess Hooker]

Let's see. A couple was arrested in St. Petersburg, Florida for allegedly engaging in lewd activity at a sidewalk cafe. The incident took place at a bar known as Where's Jubs? In downtown St. Petersburg.

[Tom Griswold]

How do they spell it? J U, B E S. Oh, thank God.

[Josh Arnold]

Unfortunate when that bee burns out.

[Tom Griswold]

Especially on if it was in Miami. Here.

[Josh Arnold]

Look around.

[Tom Griswold]

Everywhere.

[Jess Hooker]

A witness said the 29 year old man was placing his hands up the 27 year old wife's dress. So they're married and engaging in intimate activity.

[Josh Arnold]

That's kind of hot.

[Jess Hooker]

Which reportedly caused a disturbance and a breach of the peace.

[Tom Griswold]

Prudes.

[Pat Godwin]

He's just trying to get a piece.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, you can't go clam digging at the restaurant.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. They were each charged with disorderly conduct and possession of an open container.

[Pat Godwin]

Are you sure it's not wears pubes?

[Jess Hooker]

Thought that was the theme of the restaurant.

[Tom Griswold]

So they're at a sidewalk cafe but they're possessed of an open container. I don't understand how that's. Maybe they weren't allowed.

[Pat Godwin]

Bring your own.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, maybe that's what it was. They didn't pay for it through the restaurant. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

What is it that's about me where if somebody were. Hey, you want to go to this new sidewalk cafe? No, absolutely.

[Pat Godwin]

I'm with you. I hate it. I had a girlfriend who smoked and I hated eating outside.

[Tom Griswold]

I. I like eating outside. Depending on the same.

[Pat Godwin]

I thought you hated it too.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, it depends if it's the view of the parking lot, right? Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. Why? Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

And foot traffic. I don't want. People hate it.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, I know. Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

I don't like that. That. No.

[Tom Griswold]

But the. The fact that it's a married couple, it's kind of. It's kind of nice to see two people.

[Josh Arnold]

It kind of is.

[Jess Hooker]

Would you say anything?

[Josh Arnold]

I would not. But if I were, you know, let's say I'm there with my kids, I'd be a tad again with the kids.

[Pat Godwin]

Boy, you're really planning on.

[Josh Arnold]

I have baby fever.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, thank you very much for sitting in on at the last minute, Jess. Welcome again. We have a special version of this show, a special edition, I should say, coming up just around the corner, it's Java House presents the Carb Day broadcast of the Bob and Tom program. Coming up Friday, May 23rd, we'll have a bunch of cool guests. We're going to be doing a bunch of interesting things will be spread out all over the place. It'll be fun. We always appreciate your joining us, including today. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.

[Chick McGee]

Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show, sponsored in part by Java House House. The official coffee and refreshments of the Bob and Tom Show.

[Christy Lee]

Former MLB All Star Sean Casey, AKA the mayor, keeps hitting it out of the park.

[Josh Arnold]

Take my 30 years of experience. Take the wisdom and knowledge I've learned from the failures when I got sent down my rookie year, all the injuries.

[Tom Griswold]

I had to overcome.

[Josh Arnold]

Your mind is the most important tool.

[Tom Griswold]

You have in life. Be relentless, keep charging.

[Josh Arnold]

It matters how you talk to yourself, how you look at the world.

[Chick McGee]

That matters.

[Pat Godwin]

We talk about that.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm fired up.

[Josh Arnold]

Baseball calls back and it's going to be incredible.

[Tom Griswold]

I love it.

[Christy Lee]

The mayor's office with Sean Casey from.

[Tom Griswold]

Believe, Follow and listen on your favorite platform.