Loading summary
Advertiser 1
Lowes knows a thriving yard starts with quality care. Right now get Miracle grow 3/4 cubic foot all purpose garden soil for just $2. Was $4.58. Plus get a free Select EGO 56 volt trimmer or blower with the purchase of a Select EGO 56 volt mower. The best yard starts with the best deals. Lowes we help you Save valid through 514. Excludes Alaska and Hawaii. Selection varies by location while supplies last.
Advertiser 2
The new McCrispy Strip is here. Dip approved by Ketchup. Tangy barbecue, Honey mustard. Honey mustard, Sprite, McFlurry, Big Mac sauce. Double dipped in buffalo and ranch.
Advertiser 1
More ranch and creamy chili.
Advertiser 2
McCrispy strip dip now at McDonald's. It's the Bob and Tom Show.
Christy Lee
Hello and welcome to Spit Take theater. This week's Spit Take Theater presentation, a death in the family. Hey, listen, thanks a lot for, for letting me stay here until we get Mom's memorial service put together.
Advertiser 2
Oh, no, no. No problem. Here.
Christy Lee
Really appreciate it.
Advertiser 2
After all, you're my little brother.
Chick McGee
Well, thanks.
Advertiser 2
Okay.
Christy Lee
It's just all so sudden. I. Last time I talked to her, she.
Advertiser 2
Was, she was in great health. No, she was sick. Kind of sick, but she just wasn't one to. Yeah. Wasn't one to complain.
Tom Griswold
Really?
Christy Lee
I had no idea.
Advertiser 2
I enjoy you, you know, being here. Kind of lonely here without mom around.
Tom Griswold
My bad.
Advertiser 2
So, yeah, probably Pretty quiet right here. Yeah, it's very, very quiet.
Christy Lee
And by the way, this is delicious. I didn't realize what a cook you are.
Advertiser 2
That is good, isn't it?
Tom Griswold
Wow.
Advertiser 2
That's one of the best meals I've.
Tom Griswold
Had in a long time.
Christy Lee
Meat is most unusual.
Advertiser 2
More peas?
Christy Lee
No, none for me, thanks. Listen, while we're on the subject of Mother. Yeah? Something I've kind of been needing to tell you.
Advertiser 2
What's that?
Christy Lee
Well, I've got a confession to make. I, I, I never really cared for Mother.
Advertiser 2
You never really. I never really cared for Mother.
Christy Lee
I mean, I, I know I ever talked about it, but.
Advertiser 2
What do you mean? You've had two helpings.
Tom Griswold
This has been Spit Take Theater. Join us next week for another edition of.
Advertiser 2
Oh, my God. Ah, yes. Hello. Salutations. Greetings. I am Leo McGee and this is the Bob and Tom Show. Love the name Leo.
Chick McGee
They have a job named Leo now. I call him Pop.
Advertiser 2
I feel way left out. I might go Catholic. This is, you know, the Methodists or whoever those other religions, they don't get the kind of news coverage the Catholics get.
Chick McGee
Yeah, yeah.
Advertiser 2
What the heck's that?
Tom Griswold
All about maybe the billions of people that are participants.
Advertiser 2
Not billions. 1.4 billion is what I heard this morning on the TV. 1.4 billion Catholics worldwide, so nowhere near the record. Hi.
Tom Griswold
Christy.
Advertiser 2
Catholic. She's at the SILAC Insurance news desk. Pat Godwin. Hey, chick. His religion is lying. There's Josh Arnold. Am I hearing your board?
Tom Griswold
Huh? Oh, good. Bees.
Advertiser 2
Somebody's playing music. I am. That's Jeff.
Tom Griswold
It's leaking.
Chick McGee
Jeff. Oscar's Catholic. Don't.
Advertiser 2
Are you Catholic, too?
Jeff Oskay
I was.
Chick McGee
He went to Catholic school.
Advertiser 2
Years lapse. Classic. Oh, just 12 years. Okay. Well, yeah, I feel left out, not being a Catholic. All this stuff from Tick.
Tom Griswold
Now, Pat, you were actually an altar boy.
Christy Lee
Yeah, a long time.
Tom Griswold
How'd that go?
Christy Lee
You know.
Tom Griswold
Okay. I mean, are you as good as that as you are at everything else? I can see, like, leaving, Whatever. I'm not sure what the key elements are of the ceremony, the Mass. I imagine you would, like, leave the sacraments or whatever.
Advertiser 2
I know you caught something on fire.
Christy Lee
I got. I got in trouble a lot for giggling. Let's just put it that way.
Chick McGee
Giggling?
Advertiser 2
Yeah.
Christy Lee
During funerals and stuff.
Tom Griswold
Oh, God.
Jeff Oskay
I fainted during a funeral as an altar boy.
Advertiser 2
Really?
Christy Lee
Yeah. We had to stand close to the casket. It wasn't fun.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Oh, geez. Really?
Christy Lee
Oh, yeah. The incident.
Chick McGee
You got to hold the.
Christy Lee
The body up to a lot of work there.
Tom Griswold
Well, that's. That's kind of.
Advertiser 2
There's a lot of work.
Chick McGee
3.
Advertiser 2
Three Faces of Eve, if you. That's a great movie. You want to watch that about funerals.
Tom Griswold
I did. See, now, the new Pope.
Advertiser 2
I. I keep thinking you're saying the new Coke has.
Tom Griswold
Oh, the new Pope is from Chicago.
Chick McGee
Yep.
Tom Griswold
South side.
Advertiser 2
I kind of called this, remember, from Chicago.
Josh Arnold
I said, how about an American Pope?
Chick McGee
And we all poo pooed you. Probably because it was you did.
Josh Arnold
You guys said, it'll never happen in our lifetime.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
And the odds were 1 in 50. Is that right?
Advertiser 2
66 to 1.
Tom Griswold
Oh, wow.
Advertiser 2
And you could get it at some betting outlets. 5,000 to 1.
Josh Arnold
Whoa.
Advertiser 2
Some guy turned. I want to say. How much did he bet? $1,000 into $64,000. Nice. He bet a thousand bucks.
Tom Griswold
This happens to be a friend of the new pontiff. I'm not saying nothing.
Advertiser 2
Not saying anything. Check with me.
Tom Griswold
By the way, I did read that the. When you do the incense thing, where they've got the bucket on the stick or whatever it is. The bucket on the chain.
Advertiser 2
No, the swinging. The swinging pots.
Tom Griswold
Now it's gonna smell like deep dish pizza. So I was. That's the first rule. The new Pope put in.
Advertiser 2
Very disappointed. He does not have a Chicago accent, I guess Peru for 20 years.
Tom Griswold
And he didn't speak English in this first speech.
Chick McGee
Spanish.
Advertiser 2
No, he. But he has a beautiful English. I mean, he have American accent, but it, you know, it doesn't sound like the Chicago Bear accent.
Christy Lee
You know, he didn't throw in the Bears dub. Bears.
Tom Griswold
That's right. You've seen the one. Duh, Pope.
Chick McGee
I have seen that.
Advertiser 2
Bless you. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
I don't think memes have ever. So many have ever come out so quickly.
Advertiser 2
The favorite one I saw is that it took two days to name a Pope. It took three days to draft Shador Sanders. There you go.
Tom Griswold
Oh, I like that one very much.
Advertiser 2
Not nice.
Tom Griswold
Now, Christy, do you want to like, give us the actual official story?
Chick McGee
We pretty much got it. Chicago born Robert Prevost becomes the 267th leader of the Catholic Church.
Advertiser 2
I believe they're saying prey vost Prevost because of praying. I don't know if that's the reason. That's what I've heard.
Chick McGee
The 69 year old Prevost.
Advertiser 2
Everything I watched this morning, they. Everybody said Prevost.
Christy Lee
Really?
Advertiser 2
Yep.
Tom Griswold
Well, that's interesting. I don't think it's correct, but it's interesting.
Advertiser 2
Once again, here we are at the crossroads of reason and intelligence. It's Robert Prevost's name. He could. He could.
Tom Griswold
Oh, oh, oh, I thought you. Never mind. You're. I thought you meant he was the provost of.
Advertiser 2
No, I said Prevost.
Tom Griswold
Okay, okay. Sorry. Though that's his actual name then.
Chick McGee
Yes. The 69 year old Augustinian missionary spent much of his life in Peru.
Advertiser 2
Pope Bob.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Didn't he get his first. He got his first degree from Villanova.
Advertiser 2
Yeah. He's a wild cat.
Chick McGee
He's taken the name Pope Leo XIV in his first address. He called for, quote, a disarmed and disarming peace and renewed missionary outreach.
Advertiser 2
That's right. There's been 13 Pope Leos before him. I believe I'm right on that.
Josh Arnold
We'll check it. We'll check.
Advertiser 2
Can you check that? Yeah.
Tom Griswold
One of the things I looked up because you. When it comes to pronouncing things, St. Augustine is sometimes said. They say St. Augustine.
Chick McGee
Right.
Tom Griswold
And I was wondering if one was there. It turns out they're both. Okay. So he can be. He could be Augustinian or Augustinian and they're both. All right.
Chick McGee
I've heard Augustinian, but whatever.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Advertiser 2
Who Knows, And I believe St. Augustine, the oldest city in the United States.
Chick McGee
That's correct.
Josh Arnold
We'll check that.
Tom Griswold
But, you know, there were a lot of fact checking. Prevost. Provost Prevost. Whatever.
Chick McGee
Prevost. You're right. I got it wrong.
Tom Griswold
I thought he was the provost of some university. In any event, here's the interesting thing. I wanted to know exactly what the distinction was between a Jesuit. Which is what?
Chick McGee
Francis was a different missionary.
Tom Griswold
I'm familiar with the Jesuits. The intellectual. They have great schools, of course.
Chick McGee
Didn't one of your children go to a Jesuit high school?
Tom Griswold
Yes. And the. There's the Augustinians and. And then there's also the Franciscans. So I was kind of trying to figure out the difference, but while looking it up, I saw this really cool stat. The Augustinians belong to The Order of St. Augustine, a Catholic religious order that follows the teaching of St. Augustine of Hippo. This is so cool. It's got zoo stuff in it now.
Advertiser 2
I wonder what that means.
Chick McGee
Of hippo.
Advertiser 2
Yeah, I have no idea what that would mean. But obviously it doesn't mean his parents were hippos.
Tom Griswold
But I know you see the picture, the paintings of him. He's standing there and he's surrounded by these hippos. No.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
This is a.
Chick McGee
You can take anything.
Advertiser 2
I don't think that.
Tom Griswold
I think hippos are fun.
Chick McGee
Turn it now. You're going to have him play that silly hippo song.
Tom Griswold
Exactly.
Christy Lee
This is my life's work.
Chick McGee
We're talking about one of the most amazing things to happen in the Catholic Church. An American Pope. And we're going to sing a song about Pablo Escobar's hippo.
Tom Griswold
We're educating people about the order of the St. Augustinians.
Chick McGee
Oh, my gosh.
Tom Griswold
We're trying to be helpful here. Hippos are animals.
Chick McGee
That is one of the creatures of the earth stretches. I've ever.
Tom Griswold
I don't consider it a stretch. I consider it a connection. You with me here, Josh?
Josh Arnold
Oh, no, no.
Advertiser 2
You know what? Josh is going to check on that. He's going to get back. Get right back to you.
Tom Griswold
But in any event, the new Pope. I wonder, I was kind of wondering, does he have to go back to his residence and get his stuff or.
Chick McGee
I'm sure they have people move him.
Advertiser 2
I bet it's just like when the presidents move in here. There's a team of people who remember that we talked about that one year that one of the presidents moved, and they don't have to worry about anything. Like, if you Had a tie on a door at your previous residence. You go to the White House to go home, the tie will be on a door.
Tom Griswold
In the case of Mr. Trump, he. Obviously. He goes back and forth to his home all the time, but the. The Pope doesn't. I mean, she probably lived very modestly.
Chick McGee
That's what I was gonna say. Probably didn't have.
Tom Griswold
But I'm wondering, does he get to go back home for a couple days just to, you know, make sure the cable TVs turned off?
Chick McGee
I doubt it.
Tom Griswold
Okay, so he's gonna stay in Vatican City.
Advertiser 2
Do you think he has to call the cable company in the Vatican and.
Josh Arnold
Get that switched over?
Advertiser 2
I bet he does.
Tom Griswold
How do you think he got to watch Conclave? You gotta have cable.
Advertiser 2
He did. He did say he watched Conclave. Yeah. And he's got a presence on social media. He knows all about this stuff.
Chick McGee
Oh, yes.
Advertiser 2
He was at the. I think 2003 World Series, Astros, White Sox.
Josh Arnold
How old is he?
Advertiser 2
69.
Tom Griswold
And he's. He's a White Sox fan, by the way.
Chick McGee
Chicago. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Did you. Don't do that.
Advertiser 2
Where's my thing for 69?
Tom Griswold
I think I had a race.
Christy Lee
For the Pope.
Chick McGee
For the Pope?
Tom Griswold
Come on. I'm trying to do something fun. Showing pictures of the Pope with hippos. Were you aware that it's literally the teachings of St. Augustine of Hippo?
Chick McGee
I did not see.
Tom Griswold
This is an educational show.
Advertiser 2
I. Yeah, okay.
Tom Griswold
No, that's true.
Chick McGee
Okay, I believe you, but.
Advertiser 2
All right.
Tom Griswold
Founded in the 13th century, inspired by St. Augustine or St. Augustine.
Advertiser 2
Have you ever noticed elsewhere other than in this room, you're having a conversation and people just start agreeing with you, so it'll be over. Have that ever happened to you?
Tom Griswold
We've been talking to.
Advertiser 2
Huh? Yeah, that's what I thought. Okay.
Tom Griswold
Okay. That order, by the way, known for intellectual heritage, unity, and service, so There you go.
Chick McGee
St. Augustine of Hippo, by the way, is a saint. Did you know that?
Tom Griswold
Ergo, the title St. Augustine.
Chick McGee
Yeah, I know.
Advertiser 2
Where's hippo, though? What does hippo have to do with it?
Tom Griswold
He loved animals.
Chick McGee
That is not true.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it comes from Hippocrates.
Chick McGee
No, it's from.
Advertiser 2
As Pope do no harm.
Josh Arnold
Yes, exactly.
Tom Griswold
That's not bad.
Advertiser 2
Yeah, very good.
Chick McGee
He was the bishop of Hippo, Regius, in Nambia, Rome, Africa, North Africa.
Advertiser 2
Regius used to host Kathy Lee.
Tom Griswold
Oh, yeah, he was great. He was a Notre Dame guy.
Advertiser 2
Chicago White Sox.
Tom Griswold
Well, I. I did read him. Since he's from Chicago, his Favorite book, of course, is the Bible.
Josh Arnold
Let's get these all out.
Tom Griswold
We got your deep dish communion.
Advertiser 2
There we go. Here we go.
Tom Griswold
Get. What's the big beard out of Chicago? That the old style.
Advertiser 2
Old style, doggy style.
Tom Griswold
You get your communion wafer. You don't get the water and the wine. You get the old style.
Advertiser 2
His, his father, though, Josh, is a St. Louis Cardinals fan.
Josh Arnold
How about that?
Advertiser 2
Yeah, I guess his mom was a Cubs fan.
Tom Griswold
Was he a Cardinal fan after his son became a Cardinal? I don't know the late, late to the game.
Advertiser 2
I don't know the timing on that. And I don't know if I'm going to talk to you much longer.
Tom Griswold
When we come back, our Hippo tribute. Of course, we have to go over a couple of. You guys missed a couple key stories yesterday. So if I'm, I'm going to have Christy go over them because both Christy and Chick were not here for those.
Chick McGee
Radio. Okay, we'll start our. We'll start our news with those.
Tom Griswold
Okay. And we have a few other interesting things about the Pope and actually a fascinating sidelight about the food at the Conclave.
Chick McGee
Well, you know what I immediately thought because I was at home when the thing broke and it said white smoke has already been seen. I thought to myself, boy, lunch must have really sucked if they've already elected a Pope and didn't want to stay long.
Tom Griswold
As I said yesterday, if you get white smoke, it means a new Pope. Black smoke, no new Pope, green smoke means we need more guacamole.
Chick McGee
So they didn't get us out of here.
Tom Griswold
All right, now, the Bob and Tom show is sponsored by BetterHelp. This happens to be a special month. It's about mental health awareness, and BetterHelp is about accessing therapy in a somewhat more elegant way, let's say an easier way. If you've been thinking about getting therapy, better help may be what you're looking for, because what it's all about is doing the therapy online with one of some 30,000 licensed therapists. You fill out a questionnaire, you'll be matched up with one of those therapists. More than 5 million people have been participating in the BetterHelp program. What it's all about is convenience, because the therapy itself is done kind of like a zoom call or as they used to say, a Skype back in the old days. Or you can do it just like it's a phone call or even texting back and forth. It's about connecting with yourself and connecting with a therapist. See what I'm talking about by visiting the website betterhelp.com btshow add that btshow part that'll knock 10% off your first month. Once again, this is a mental health awareness month and a large number of Americans are kind of avoiding getting mental health support because their fear of being judged. And that's in part going away because of the efforts of guys like Jim Ursay to get rid of that stigma. So if you've been thinking about it and it's a different way, a different approach and somewhat easier because you don't have to go across town and go into an office, you might be nervous about it, you can just do it like I said online. All the details are@betterhelp.com btshow that's betterhelp h e l p.com btshow Coming up, is your city sinking? Remember that great song, we Built this City on rock and roll?
Advertiser 2
No one's ever said that before.
Tom Griswold
No, that's. That is. I love that song. It's one of those songs that everyone likes to hate because, you know, it's.
Chick McGee
It's voted, like, the worst rock and roll song.
Advertiser 2
Well, it's not clear yet, but I think everyone said that. Yeah. Except Tom.
Tom Griswold
Knee deep. Remember that line?
Advertiser 2
Knee deep in the hoopla.
Tom Griswold
Knee deep in the hoopla.
Advertiser 2
Thank you.
Tom Griswold
So trash.
Advertiser 2
So memorable. I had to finish it for you.
Tom Griswold
Why am I bringing this up? Thank you. Why am I bringing this up? Because we have news about the cities are all sinking. We'll find out about that. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Advertiser 1
Get in the zone, AutoZone.
Tom Griswold
Welcome to AutoZone. What are you working on today?
Christy Lee
Worried about your battery and the heat?
Tom Griswold
We get it. You don't want to get stranded somewhere with a car that feels like an oven. We've got you covered. At AutoZone, America's number one battery destination, our free battery testing and charging service can help. And if you need a battery, we'll.
Josh Arnold
Help you find a new one. No problem.
Tom Griswold
Power through with free battery testing and charging at AutoZone.
Josh Arnold
Get in the zone.
Tom Griswold
AutoZone restrictions apply.
Advertiser 2
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the SILAC insurance news desk.
Chick McGee
Howdy.
Advertiser 2
There's Pat Godwin.
Christy Lee
Hey, Chick.
Advertiser 2
At the I Hate Stephen Singer sidekick chair, it's Josh Arnold Schter. He's working on some research for me. There's Jeff OSKAY. I'm Chick McGee. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Hello, Tom.
Tom Griswold
Hello, Chick McGee. Pat and I have been working on a special tribute to the Pope. The new Pope.
Advertiser 2
Let's get right to it.
Tom Griswold
I'm with you, though. I keep thinking of the new Coke.
Advertiser 2
The new Coke.
Tom Griswold
When we actually say the new Pope. I think we should save our Pope song for a little bit later, Pat.
Christy Lee
Up to you, boss.
Tom Griswold
But we can do another song semi related to the Pope. By way of background.
Christy Lee
Not even close.
Tom Griswold
By way of background. The new Pope, for the first time ever. An American.
Chick McGee
Yes.
Tom Griswold
And when I first heard that, I thought, oh, it's got to be Dolan from New York. No, no, it's south side of Chicago.
Chick McGee
Why didn't he go with Pope Bob? Wouldn't that have been great?
Advertiser 2
I don't think that's an option.
Chick McGee
I think you can pick any name.
Tom Griswold
Has there ever been a Pope Roberto?
Advertiser 2
Well, I don't think they could say Lenny or something like Artie. No, I don't think so.
Chick McGee
Why not?
Tom Griswold
Pope Morty might be poopy pants. Talk about ecumenical Pope Chaim. Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Advertiser 2
Hey, Tom.
Tom Griswold
Hey. Jesus was Jewish.
Advertiser 2
Pat said Pope Poopy Pants.
Tom Griswold
Don't be silly, Patrick. What is the thing they'd always do with the boats now? They always name them. They do those contests and. What is it?
Josh Arnold
Odie McBoat face.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, yeah.
Chick McGee
No, no disrespectful. Disrespectful.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Advertiser 2
You said any name.
Chick McGee
Bob isn't disrespectful.
Tom Griswold
I think it is. Yeah.
Josh Arnold
I don't think Leo's that far from Lenny, Bob.
Chick McGee
Thank you.
Christy Lee
That's true.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Named Leo, for God's sake.
Advertiser 2
But it has precedent.
Josh Arnold
It does, absolutely.
Advertiser 2
And I believe, correct me if I'm wrong, but there have been 13.
Josh Arnold
I'm still trying to cry.
Tom Griswold
And I'm not finding that.
Josh Arnold
But I'll keep looking.
Christy Lee
Who gets to pick the name?
Chick McGee
They do.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. The person who picks their own.
Advertiser 2
The ghost of the Pope's mother comes back. That's quite a production.
Chick McGee
Get to pick their names.
Tom Griswold
All these are great ideas. None of them are true. I've been thinking of hiring a new staff member. That would be a fact checker.
Advertiser 2
Yeah. That's what we need.
Chick McGee
Oh, yeah.
Advertiser 2
More people around here. That's exactly. That is a great idea.
Christy Lee
Give us the extra money.
Chick McGee
Yeah, that's right.
Tom Griswold
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Obviously, this is, what do they call it, a zero sum game. I hire someone new, we all take a little hit.
Christy Lee
Oh, again.
Advertiser 2
I know you think that was supposed to be funny.
Chick McGee
Yeah. We're not laughing.
Tom Griswold
Some Will take a bigger hit than others. That'll be based on the respect paid to you know who.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, it's good to be king.
Tom Griswold
I just. I think having a fact checker would be kind of funny, though. A buzzer would go off the last thing you said, Tom. Completely wrong. Okay.
Advertiser 2
Yeah. Yeah, you'd love that.
Tom Griswold
At a special level, when I was.
Advertiser 2
Right, fifth or sixth time, you would.
Chick McGee
Have somebody to argue with all the time.
Josh Arnold
We've got millions of windbags out there to keep us in line.
Tom Griswold
That's true. That's true.
Advertiser 2
Now.
Tom Griswold
We do have a pope tribute coming up. And again, by way of background, this gentleman is an American from the south.
Chick McGee
Side of Chicago and his home parish.
Christy Lee
The baddest part of town in Chicago.
Chick McGee
The church is. Did you see that? The church has been shuttered for over 10 years, I think, or something. Yeah. But they're hoping that they'll reopen it and make it a basilica. Now. There were thousands of people that stopped by there yesterday. It was kind of interesting.
Tom Griswold
Well, we did determine after learning the term Augustinian, which is one of the sort of orders, the previous pope, once again a Jesuit, and there's also. For the Franciscans are out there. But what I had to learn about the Augustinians, and by the way, Augustine is also proper pronunciation, if you're interested.
Chick McGee
More of an august body.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. In any event, they are inspired by St. Augustine of Hippo. And I just thought, well, there's a fun connection. Hippos, fun animals, dangerous.
Advertiser 2
But you said, are we doing this song now or another song?
Tom Griswold
We have two pope songs.
Advertiser 2
Okay, well, which one are we doing?
Tom Griswold
This one. This really is not about the Pope.
Advertiser 2
No, at all.
Tom Griswold
St. Augustine of Hippo. When we take the word hippo, I always think of one of my favorite songs from Pat Godwin because of Pablo Escobar, A tribute to the evil Pablo.
Chick McGee
Escobar who had hippos.
Tom Griswold
And you may recall he. In Colombia, he imported the hippos and brought them over to South America. They don't belong there.
Chick McGee
No, they don't.
Tom Griswold
And they've. They've inhabited this river and they're reproducing, and it's a big, big problem because they're an invasive species.
Josh Arnold
You can stop that. He's got a while.
Tom Griswold
They're trying to. They're trying to figure out what to do with them.
Advertiser 2
I just hope we don't go back to the founding of Columbia where that.
Tom Griswold
Came into play, because.
Chick McGee
Something to do with that.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Funny that that actually comes up today in history, which will Segue right into here. Christopher. No, this is a big problem. They've got all these hippos in this river. They could kill people.
Advertiser 2
He wasn't.
Tom Griswold
And they've got to get rid of them.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
So they're trying to figure out how to ship them out of the country, and there, Ergo, we get back to the new pope. Go ahead, Pat.
Christy Lee
It was a costly notion shipping hippos across the ocean. Do you have your. Your flute ready over there?
Advertiser 2
Oh, no, it was a cost. You know what? No, the. The flute has been banned. You didn't hear about this.
Christy Lee
I did not.
Advertiser 2
Yeah.
Christy Lee
All right, here we go.
Advertiser 2
Sorry.
Christy Lee
Without the flute.
Tom Griswold
Do you want a kazoo?
Advertiser 2
Don't say, do you want a kazoo? When you were the one that banned the flu.
Christy Lee
Banned?
Tom Griswold
Wait a minute. Well, no, we found the flute.
Advertiser 2
I'll play it, but I don't want to get.
Josh Arnold
We. We all have flutes.
Tom Griswold
Oh, dear God.
Advertiser 2
Yeah, I don't want to. I don't want to have to take another hit.
Tom Griswold
Take another hit. A fresh air. Okay, we're ready now. Go ahead.
Christy Lee
I have to focus. It was a costly notion. Ship and hippos crossed the ocean. Wait, wait.
Tom Griswold
When did he get the Brooklyn accent? Can you do it like the guy from.
Advertiser 2
He's always done it that way. It's supposed to be. He's trying to do the wizard of Oz accent.
Tom Griswold
Oh, that's supposed to be the Cowardly Lion.
Christy Lee
No, he doesn't sing this song.
Tom Griswold
Who sings this one?
Christy Lee
I think this is the Scarecrow.
Advertiser 2
Oh, it's Ray Bolger. Yeah, but it's. He sings it like that.
Josh Arnold
They all. They all have a version of this. Yeah, same melody.
Tom Griswold
Oh.
Christy Lee
Oh, good. Thank you.
Tom Griswold
Sure.
Christy Lee
It was a costly notion.
Advertiser 2
There's the line.
Christy Lee
When hippos crossed the ocean.
Tom Griswold
I love the.
Christy Lee
They flew me on a plane.
Advertiser 2
Though.
Christy Lee
I weighed many tunnies. Escobar had lots of monies from trafficking cocaine. Shut up, Josh.
Josh Arnold
Oh, I joke.
Christy Lee
No, I screwed up. Oh, I could tell you things. Oh, if this hippo talked, I'd sing this Billy Joel.
Tom Griswold
Now there were.
Christy Lee
Runs and gas and blue.
Advertiser 2
In his defense, it had been a.
Christy Lee
While since he talked name Right, That Pablo the Hippos. They are twerking, but my balls, they aren't working. I've been neuterized. I came here for vacation. Now I'm looking at castration. Why am I so despised? Try and catch me, you bastards.
Tom Griswold
Thank you very much. See, they were going to castrate the hippos. I never got to say threw me.
Christy Lee
Under the Bridge on that one, you bastard.
Tom Griswold
Well, thank you very much. And we'd like to, in our own special way, welcome the new Pope.
Chick McGee
Oh, I'm sure he doesn't.
Tom Griswold
Listen, did he get to. I wonder if he got the new room yet.
Chick McGee
Oh, and the. The new apartment.
Tom Griswold
Is he going to stay? Because the. The previous Pope did not stay in the Pope's headquarters.
Chick McGee
He did not.
Tom Griswold
He stayed in modest apartment right behind.
Advertiser 2
A gas station, right?
Chick McGee
Yep.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, so we'll see.
Advertiser 2
Ungrateful smacks of ungratefulness.
Josh Arnold
Hey, quite a lack of gratitude there, Pompey.
Tom Griswold
Hey, we cleaned this place up for you. Yeah.
Josh Arnold
What are you doing?
Christy Lee
I didn't know you could do that.
Chick McGee
Yeah, you're the Pope. You can do whatever you want.
Tom Griswold
Did you hear that? The old Pope mobile. I guess there are two of them, and one of them is going to be converted into a. Some kind of a ambulance or something, or what? Yeah, some kind of a. Yeah, it's.
Chick McGee
A great idea not hear that.
Tom Griswold
No, I'm serious. Not an ambulance, but some kind of a health vehicle. Vehicle.
Advertiser 2
Like a blood mobile?
Tom Griswold
Yeah, something like that.
Advertiser 2
Or maybe it's a bookmobile.
Josh Arnold
Just the one book, huh?
Tom Griswold
And the new. The new Pope. The new Pope is going to take. He. I just read this last night. He's made arrangements to purchase one of the wiener mobiles to turn that into a Pope mobile. So the kids get, you know. Oh, look at that.
Josh Arnold
How about that?
Tom Griswold
Gives him something a little fun. Macy's Parade. There's the Pope in the wiener mobile. I'm not sure if he'll go with the Chicago brand hot dog or stick with Oscar Mayer.
Jeff Oskay
What was the game that you would press the little bubble and it would pop the dice.
Josh Arnold
Was it trouble, trouble, trouble.
Jeff Oskay
I always thought that would be cool with, like, the Popemobile.
Advertiser 2
Are you talking about the Papa Matic?
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, the Pope pops around.
Advertiser 2
The dice were in the Pap O matic. And you never lost the dice.
Chick McGee
No, you didn't.
Advertiser 2
But there wasn't the fun of getting mad during a turn and throwing the dice across the room.
Chick McGee
Is that how you play?
Advertiser 2
Oh, everybody plays that way. Absolutely.
Tom Griswold
If you're just joining us, hello. This is the Bob and Tom Show. We're coming to you from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, talking a little bit about the. The new Pope. And before, obviously, they had the Conclave, and I read a couple interesting things about that. Apparently, the food that they served during the Conclave was not good. Yeah, there. There was a lot of criticism of it.
Advertiser 2
Watery sauce and the pasta Was not cooked properly.
Chick McGee
What Chick said yesterday?
Tom Griswold
Yeah, I did a little more a deli tray diving. Apparently the meals prepared by religious sisters designed to be straightforward. It says here from. This is from the BBC. Items like stuffed ravioli and roast chicken prohibited since they posed a security concern as they could be used to conceal messages.
Chick McGee
Oh, look at that.
Tom Griswold
This is really.
Chick McGee
Important stuff.
Tom Griswold
Spy stuff.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Can you imagine biting into a chicken leg and there's a piece of paper in there that says, vote for Pietro or else.
Advertiser 2
Oh, you mean the fortune chicken leg.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Advertiser 2
I'd love to have one.
Chick McGee
Fortune raviolis. There's something.
Advertiser 2
I'd order that. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
So now, do they do a big inauguration ceremony for a Pope? Do they have like. I don't. I'm asking. I don't know.
Advertiser 2
You mean an inaugural ball or something?
Tom Griswold
No, I mean do they have like a ceremony?
Chick McGee
Didn't they have one yesterday? Isn't that what it was?
Josh Arnold
I have a feeling there are like 50 ceremonies and a lot of them are behind closed doors, but okay.
Advertiser 2
And then the new Pope says, thank you, sir. May have another a couple times.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Advertiser 2
He has to scoot a marshmallow across the cabin.
Christy Lee
Grapes are involved.
Chick McGee
His inaugural mass was today. So, I mean.
Tom Griswold
So will Lester Holt and rest of the guys fly back to the usa?
Chick McGee
Probably.
Advertiser 2
I don't know.
Tom Griswold
I did see the Pope had a red miter that said mvga. Make the Vatican great again, which I thought was a nice touch.
Chick McGee
He looks like such a nice guy. He's up there doing his homily this morning and he's smiling and.
Advertiser 2
Homily, homily, homily, homily, homily, homily. Pretty funny.
Tom Griswold
And I mentioned this yesterday. The EPCOT has announced they are going to add Vatican City to the. When you go around the world, be quite popular. Have a little mini Sistine Chapel with Mickey and Minnie Incorporated.
Josh Arnold
Isn't that something other? And their hands, their ears were touching. God.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, okay, sorry. We do have another Pope tribute coming.
Advertiser 2
What is next, Tom? Do we have letters or Today in History? What would you like?
Tom Griswold
Well, I thought we'd cram in Today in History. We could do it real quick. Where are we, time wise? Oh, wait a minute. We'll come back with that. And we have to get to our letters. We have to come back, as you mentioned. Hold the music. I want to mention my friends at Java House because we're doing a special version of this show coming up in a couple of weeks. Let's see, what is it? A couple of weeks? It'll be the special Carb Day broadcast brought to you by Java House. Here's the poster with the this is the special edition with Pat Godwin with his black eyebrows. Thank you. And, well, that's posted. If you'd like to see what it looks like on the on the Bob and Tom social media. Now, I want to tell you about Java House. It's the official coffee and the all the official refreshments of the Bob and Tom Show. What Java House is all about is getting rid of the Keurig, et cetera, et cetera. You don't need the percolator, the bottle, da, da, da, da. Because Java House is concentrated coffee. I'm holding up one of these right now. It's a pod. It's a little bit larger, just maybe a couple millimeters larger than one of those Keurig cup things. And you don't have to put it in a machine. You just peel and pour. You just take this top off. This happens to be the Colombian Medium Roast. This, by the way, super popular. And for you coffee drinkers out there, there, you peel it off, you pour it in water and you're ready to go. By the way, we have some very special water here we've been using lately. I'll tell you about it in just a second. Now, Josh, what's your personal favorite?
Josh Arnold
The Colombian Medium Roast is my favorite of the coffees. They do have the finest hot cocoa I've ever had.
Tom Griswold
The cocoa. Yeah. We're getting letters about the cocoa. It's Java House once again, thanks to office H2O, they put a new water system in here and we can get hot water and it's just great. In fact, I got some hot water a minute ago. We don't have to go through the giant bottles of water we used to have to lug around. So break up with your brewer. Get started@javahouse.com did I mention 25% off your order if you use the code Bob and Tom, javahouse.com by the way, Java House, the official refreshments of the Bob and Tom Show. They include, of course, hydration drinks, energy drinks, lattes, and of my favorite, the tea. Get all the details, javahouse.com and we'll look forward to our special broadcast brought to you by Java House. Coming up, somebody ate a beehive. There were bees and there were bees in it. Details coming up. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Advertiser 1
Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Even though we're not too much to look at. You can also watch the show on our YouTube channel.
Chick McGee
This is a mini meditation guided by Bombas. Repeat after me. I'm comfy. I'm cozy. Cozy. I have zero blisters on my toes. And that's cause I wear Bombas the softest. Socks, underwear and T shirts that give back. One purchased equals one donated. Now go to bombas.com listen and use code listen for 20% off your first purchase. That's B O M b-s.com listen and use code listen at checkout.
Tom Griswold
Full of Fridays.
Advertiser 2
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Thank O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Christy and Pat and Josh and Jeff. And I'm Chick.
Josh Arnold
Hello.
Advertiser 2
Yeah, hello, Tom.
Tom Griswold
Hello. I was just doing a little homework.
Advertiser 2
Somehow we're all Catholic today.
Tom Griswold
The Pope thing, I was wondering if he had to go back to you to get a new place to stay.
Chick McGee
They give him a place.
Tom Griswold
Well, he's. I guess he's trying to get his deposit back.
Josh Arnold
Oh, that can always be tough.
Tom Griswold
You know what a hassle that is.
Chick McGee
Gotta clean first.
Advertiser 2
Does he have an assistant? Well, he has. Now that he spoke, he's gonna have a talk. A lot of this all the time, the Italian acts.
Tom Griswold
That's right.
Advertiser 2
Yeah. It has to.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
I guess the Italians are quite disappointed. They were hoping to kind of keep the. Because most of them over the years have been Italians. So it's a big deal with an American.
Chick McGee
Yeah, they thought it'd never happen.
Tom Griswold
So I'm sure we'll see a lot of memes with flag miters, et cetera, et cetera. Do they sell that kind of stuff around Vatican City? Do they have a lot of junk?
Advertiser 2
A lot of.
Josh Arnold
It's real tacky, isn't it?
Chick McGee
Yeah, they have all kinds of gift shops around Vatican City.
Josh Arnold
Snow globes and such.
Chick McGee
Yeah, you can buy.
Advertiser 2
They have a. They have a pen that if you turn it right side up, the Pope's hat comes off.
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah, yeah. That's a classic seller, really.
Advertiser 2
Pope on a rope. Yeah, you can. There's a Pope, A Pope light switch cover that you put on your light switch and it looks like he's. Let there be light and he.
Chick McGee
Yeah, I bet they're scrambling today. That's true, isn't it?
Advertiser 2
That is true. Yeah. We used to have one around here somewhere.
Chick McGee
Yeah, there's probably Somebody scrambling to get Pope Leo stuff out there, because they did not expect that.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, so it'll be interesting. We'll see what happens. But in the meantime, we do have other things to cover today.
Advertiser 2
Today in history. He said, yeah, questioning.
Tom Griswold
Let's do it early for a change.
Advertiser 2
All right, now, we.
Tom Griswold
We just did a. Somewhat, as Christy said, a stretch, because May 9, the new pope is Augustinian. That's the order that he's in. And that's, of course, inspired by St. Augustine of Hippo. So we played our Hippo song for you, and then Chick said, are you going to explain why we had hippos in Pablo Escobar in the country of Colombia? Well, that, of course, is because of Christopher Columbus, who on this date in 1502, left Spain on his last trip to the New World.
Josh Arnold
Could have just said that. I mean, this is getting exhausting.
Tom Griswold
Well, he. Columbus, wanted to go back and, you know, violate the natives one last time. How about this one in 1868.
Advertiser 2
There we go.
Tom Griswold
The city of Reno, Nevada was founded. Josh, do you know the slogan of.
Josh Arnold
Reno, the biggest little city in the world?
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Advertiser 2
I didn't know it was that old. Huh. That's interesting. They must not have been open for gambling until. Right. This is another city.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. Probably just a. Yeah.
Advertiser 2
When they saw what Vegas did. Probably they.
Tom Griswold
And of course, it's. It's the. It has a twin city.
Josh Arnold
Oh, does.
Tom Griswold
It's a place where people can't fart. It's. It's Beano Nevada.
Josh Arnold
So Reno, Nevada, and Beano, Nevada.
Advertiser 2
I don't know when it happened, but he's turned into a nine year old. I don't know. And that's even young for me.
Tom Griswold
You ever tried Beano Christie?
Chick McGee
Yes.
Tom Griswold
You know what it does?
Chick McGee
I know what it does. It neutralizes the gas farts. Yeah, the popcorn farts. Yes.
Tom Griswold
I had to give it to one of my dogs for a while because.
Chick McGee
Of the green beans.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, that was a. That was quite the issue. I'm sorry. How about this one, Josh? Maybe this will make you happy. All right, now you're. You don't even know what I'm gonna say.
Josh Arnold
In your mind, it was the. This will make you happy. Yeah. Way they go.
Christy Lee
Tom.
Tom Griswold
This is. You're the only one in this room. I think Woodrow Wilson did what on this date in 1914, Mrs. Wilson?
Advertiser 2
Well, kinda, but he was divorced. Right.
Christy Lee
Chick knew.
Advertiser 2
He was the only one divorced.
Josh Arnold
I don't.
Advertiser 2
He's the only one divorced and got remarried while he's in the White House.
Chick McGee
I don't know about that, but he declared this the second Monday or the second Sunday in May. Always Mother's Day, Right.
Tom Griswold
Yes, Mother's Day.
Josh Arnold
Okay.
Tom Griswold
And it. And it obviously stays on a Sunday, whereas.
Chick McGee
Right.
Tom Griswold
In other countries. That's not the truth.
Advertiser 2
He got divorced because his wife at the time was having an affair with Secretary of State.
Tom Griswold
Oh, my.
Chick McGee
That'll happen.
Josh Arnold
That's. He was hunky, though.
Advertiser 2
He had that look on his face. Is that real? It could have happened, but I don't know if that's the reason.
Tom Griswold
Mother's Day, of course. This Sunday?
Chick McGee
Yes.
Tom Griswold
Don't forget.
Advertiser 2
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Did you like that? Your mom is great.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Have you gotten her a little gift?
Josh Arnold
Yes, we're all set.
Tom Griswold
Okay, good. Are you gonna give her a phone call on Sunday?
Josh Arnold
Absolutely.
Tom Griswold
Okay, good. Good. There you go. See, I told you I could make him happy.
Christy Lee
No, that worked.
Josh Arnold
Keep it up.
Advertiser 2
What is it about him? I don't. He's been like this for two or three days now. It's really getting exhausted.
Tom Griswold
Here's a movie I've got a re. See, because I saw it when I was a kid and I don't remember anything about it. 1958. Alfred Hitchcock's Vertigo.
Jess Hooker
Oh, yeah.
Josh Arnold
You'll love it.
Advertiser 2
Let me tell you something. I went to the re. Release of that in a theater. I was very excited about it. Vertigo's Vertigo or Ropes, probably my two favorite Hitchcocks. And Vertigo. You forget. It had been a while since I'd seen it. There's a lot of Jimmy Stewart driving around. It's.
Josh Arnold
So that's the thing about slow Hitchcock.
Advertiser 2
And he's building tension, but it takes its time. But with the. The way you're used to watching movies now, it's. It's. It's still. It's still a great movie.
Josh Arnold
Right? Right.
Advertiser 2
Kim Novak is gorgeous.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Yes.
Advertiser 2
And Vertigo. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
I'll have to see it.
Advertiser 2
It's real good.
Tom Griswold
Oh, this is controversial today.
Chick McGee
What?
Tom Griswold
Yikes. Maybe I shouldn't even read this. In 1960, the FDA approved the pill.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Oh, who was pope then? John the 24th. I don't know, 12. One of those guys.
Chick McGee
I was just born, so I don't know.
Tom Griswold
They weren't real happy with that.
Chick McGee
No, they weren't. They still aren't.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Unless the new guy. Well, that'd be a big deal.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Hey, guess what? Go for it.
Josh Arnold
Boy, that.
Tom Griswold
That would be a big deal. Josh, in my effort to continually make you happy and cheerful.
Josh Arnold
Yes, you do control my mood.
Advertiser 2
So, please, now that the Moment has passed. We've moved on. We're having a good time. Yes. Relive it and let's go through it again.
Josh Arnold
Backfiring. It is important for you to. For me to have you dictate my emotions. So please.
Tom Griswold
Oh, okay. You can help me here.
Advertiser 2
Somebody better help you.
Tom Griswold
In 1980, the first movie, Friday the 13th, was released.
Josh Arnold
Yes.
Tom Griswold
Now I can't remember. I never. I've never seen any of these movies. Who's the one in this one?
Josh Arnold
The killer?
Tom Griswold
Yeah, it is.
Josh Arnold
Pamela Voorhees. It's Mrs. Voorhees, a friend of the Christian.
Advertiser 2
But is this the one with the. Camp Silver Lake?
Josh Arnold
Yeah, Camp Crystal Lake.
Advertiser 2
Crystal Lake.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Advertiser 2
That's it. Betsy Palmer.
Josh Arnold
Yes, exactly.
Advertiser 2
That's his. That's the killer. Well, yeah, he becomes a killer. But that's who kills first, is. Right. His mom.
Josh Arnold
Because they made Jason Voorhees in Part two. Yeah, yeah. Avenging his mother's decay.
Advertiser 2
So you can go back to. You'll know who Betsy Palmer is because.
Tom Griswold
She'S from all the game shows.
Advertiser 2
There you go. In the 60s, right?
Josh Arnold
And Kevin Bacon was in the first. Friday the third.
Chick McGee
Oh, he was.
Advertiser 2
But he was known as Chris P. Bacon.
Josh Arnold
Yes. And then they went, hey, that's a.
Advertiser 2
Little silly on the nose.
Tom Griswold
It's hard to. It's hard to play Shakespeare when you got a silly name like.
Christy Lee
He changes to Canadian.
Tom Griswold
Speaking of Canadians, on this date in 1996, this gentleman was made an Officer of the Order of Canada.
Josh Arnold
What year?
Chick McGee
What year?
Tom Griswold
96. Anyone want to take a guess?
Advertiser 2
Ryan Reynolds.
Tom Griswold
He has an unusual name. One of a kind. He's a very fine bass player.
Advertiser 2
Shadrach S. Butthole.
Chick McGee
Getty lee.
Tom Griswold
It's not Mr. Butthole. That would be unusual. Getty Lee.
Chick McGee
I guess that's because.
Advertiser 2
And you know, isn't his name Gary? Yes, but his sister. Something.
Tom Griswold
Grandma.
Advertiser 2
Somebody couldn't say.
Josh Arnold
Getty.
Advertiser 2
Getty. Get in here. Get it.
Christy Lee
Stop playing at the base.
Advertiser 2
Getty Lee. And there's a thing on Axis TV with Dan Rather talking to Getty. He has the most extensive collection of Major League Baseball memorabilia and autograph balls you've ever seen in your entire life. It's amazing, stunning, what he has. Yeah. And of course, he loves the Blue Jays now because he's a Canadian, and that's not in our country. It's from above us, where Canada is. Yet I'm going to have to start talking to you like you talk to me. I hope you're going to be okay.
Tom Griswold
Has anyone done the calculation that if Canada becomes the 51st state, they're going to be adding two more Democratics. Nevermind. Happy birthday to the late Mike Wallace. That was always bad news. If you were sitting in some office and some guy secretary goes, mike Wallace is coming up the steps. Yeah, something's wrong.
Advertiser 2
Yeah, That's a great documentary about Mike Wallace. It's out there. Take a look.
Josh Arnold
This kid's good too. Yes.
Tom Griswold
And then Pat In 1949, the birthday of the great Billy Joel. I love Billy Joel. Oh, of course. And lastly, Rosario Dawson, born on this date in 1979.
Josh Arnold
Good actress.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. What's the movie where she is completely naked for no particular reason.
Chick McGee
Rosario Dawson.
Advertiser 2
I get Rosario Dawson, Zoe Saldana and somebody else mixed up all the time, and I don't know why. Or maybe I do.
Josh Arnold
I know you and that's not why. I mean, they're all hot. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
John Gruden.
Advertiser 2
No, I know who John Gruden is.
Tom Griswold
Oh, okay.
Advertiser 2
I still say Dan Snyder didn't know it was John Gruden.
Tom Griswold
Okay, letters coming up, is that correct?
Advertiser 2
Yes.
Tom Griswold
Okay, good.
Advertiser 2
We got letters.
Tom Griswold
Look forward to that. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Advertiser 1
Want to share a letter or comment? Our email is Bob and tom@bobandtom.com make.
Tom Griswold
Your next move with American Express Business Platinum. Earn 5 times Membership Rewards points on flights and prepaid hotels booked on amextravel.com and with a welcome offer of 150,000 points. After you spend $20,000 on purchases on the card within your first three months of membership, your business can soar to new heights. Terms apply. Learn more at American Express Express.com Business Platinum AmEx Business Platinum, built for business by American Express.
Advertiser 2
Welcome back. And remember, you young broadcasters out there, I can't stress this enough. If. If you feel like silence, if there's a silence coming, always remember to fill it up with gibberish. Don't ever just take a moment and take a breath because real people don't talk like that. Hi, Christy.
Chick McGee
Hi, Chick.
Advertiser 2
She's at the SILAC insurance news desk. There's Pat Godwin.
Christy Lee
Hey, Chick.
Advertiser 2
Hello, Josh. Arnold.
Josh Arnold
Hi, Chick.
Advertiser 2
There's Jeff Oskay. I'm Chick. Hello, Tom. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios.
Tom Griswold
I had an unfortunate moment yesterday.
Josh Arnold
Oh, no.
Tom Griswold
Short version. I took the dogs out for a walk like I always do. I went for kind of a long one and I forgot the bags.
Chick McGee
Yeah, you know, bad dad. Poop bags.
Tom Griswold
Poop bags. So the larger dog Created a sort of an epic thing. And so. But I felt terrible. I didn't have a bag with me, so I took the dogs home. And I didn't think this through. I should have when I went back to pick it up, taking a dog with me.
Chick McGee
Oh, because it looked like you were just picking up.
Advertiser 2
So it looked like you were walking around your neighborhood collecting dog.
Tom Griswold
So I walk pretty far out of my neighborhood to go back. So I felt terrible. Picked up the aforementioned pile, was still there. I picked it up, tied off the bag and I'm walking back to my house with a dog poop bag with no dog.
Chick McGee
Right.
Advertiser 2
So. So there's. There's two conclusions one could gather from that if they saw you. One, you went back and were conscientious.
Chick McGee
And picked up after your dog, people would think.
Advertiser 2
Or two, you shat in someone's yard and you picked up your poo in your bag.
Tom Griswold
I think there's. Those are two possibilities.
Advertiser 2
So you were crazy. You're crazy, but you're needed.
Tom Griswold
So there I'm walking, I'm getting. This was kind of far from my house. I get back to my little dead end street and I'm walking once again, dog free, dogless, with this big bag of green poop or green bag full of dog poop. And one of my neighbors pulls up, hi. Rolls down the window and my dog went back.
Chick McGee
Why are you so concerned about this? People don't care.
Tom Griswold
I think it's weird. If you saw someone walking, I know you're being carrying a thing of dog poop without a dog.
Josh Arnold
I think you look like a hero also.
Chick McGee
Yeah, you look like a hero. People don't normally go back to yes, but no.
Tom Griswold
Typically I find myself, I'll be anywhere and I'll breach in my pocket, oh, there's one of those dog bags. But the time when you really need it always happens. Okay. Anyway, so let's get back to the action. It's time to get to some letters.
Advertiser 2
That's right. Letters from you, brought to. Brought to us by Hyundai. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
Tom Griswold
Hyundai.
Advertiser 2
Hyundai helps protect you and your family on the road. Hyundai puts your safety first and everything else second. That's Hyundai. All right. I have a letter.
Josh Arnold
Ready?
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Advertiser 2
Dear Chick McGee, trendsetter and the rest of the magnificent cast of the Bob and Tom Show.
Josh Arnold
How about that?
Advertiser 2
This past Wednesday, my family and I went to the Dodgers Miami Marlins game in Miami. Chick is a trendsetter. Evidence at the game. I was very happy that I was not the only person who responded a certain way when A certain Dodger player was announced in the lineup. Yes. When Shohei Ohtani was announced, there were quite a few of us in my area who said, hey, Ohtani. Really?
Christy Lee
That's amazing.
Advertiser 2
Keep up the good work, chick. Happy future birthday to Josh. Oh, thank you, Jeremy. The writer just turned 47 on May 8th, and he has a Chuck Norris joke. Mm. Superman and Chuck Norris got into a boxing match. A match. One time, the loser had to wear their underwear on the outside of his pants.
Josh Arnold
Oh, then I think we know who it was.
Advertiser 2
There we go.
Tom Griswold
I like that.
Advertiser 2
Thank you. From Vero Beach, Florida. That's Jeremy. Thank you very much.
Tom Griswold
I got a letter over here. This comes to us from Joseph Air Force. He is in the ammo troop. Ammo. And then he explains, we build bombs and work with explosives.
Chick McGee
Thank you for service, Joseph.
Tom Griswold
Serious business. Thank you. Serious business.
Chick McGee
Not like what we do.
Tom Griswold
You guys were reading a list of dangerous jobs.
Josh Arnold
Oh, we deal with plenty of bombs, don't we?
Tom Griswold
The first hour of the show in boot camp, our drill instructor would often give us simple questions to answer in unison. When we gave the correct answer, he would say, outstanding. There are more brains in here than on Kurt Cobain's ceiling oil. Boys, that is rough. But I mean, you know, you're a badass drill instructor instructing dudes and ladies that are gonna be dismantling and building bombs. You gotta be tough. Thank you very much, Joseph.
Chick McGee
Yikes.
Tom Griswold
Very, very serious. On a lighter note, we hear from Stephanie, who writes, I've had a waterbed since 1987.
Chick McGee
Good for you, Stephanie.
Tom Griswold
I've been through two mattresses and three heaters.
Jeff Oskay
How many husbands?
Christy Lee
Oh, she must like to use the mattress a lot.
Tom Griswold
She goes, I can't move when I sleep on a regular mattress. I love my water beds.
Chick McGee
I loved my waterbed.
Tom Griswold
Maybe it's time to get one. Is your issue, is your bedroom upstairs or downstairs at your house?
Chick McGee
On the main floor.
Tom Griswold
Oh, are you on a slab or a basement?
Chick McGee
I'm in a basement.
Advertiser 2
Isn't that a. That's not true about waterbeds.
Chick McGee
But. But they have. Being heavy.
Advertiser 2
Yeah, they can go upstairs and they can. They're not that much heavier than a regular bed or some crazy.
Tom Griswold
I think the issue is if they. If it leaks and it leaks, it's gonna take ceiling out on them.
Advertiser 2
Yeah, but that. I think that was also started by.
Tom Griswold
I am not your soda lobby.
Chick McGee
I like my sleep number bed. I love my sleep sleep number bed. I'm not getting a water bed.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, I've never slept on one.
Chick McGee
I, I had one and I loved the soft cider water bed. That was even better.
Advertiser 2
But have you had the hard cider one? You know.
Tom Griswold
No, I haven't. I, I, I, I know you're not.
Advertiser 2
You haven't slept on one, but have you, you know, I don't know.
Chick McGee
You've never been on a water.
Tom Griswold
I was on my, I went on 110. I, I, it was too noisy.
Christy Lee
Yeah, all that banging around.
Josh Arnold
Probably the couple that was trying to sleep.
Advertiser 2
Did you at least say excuse?
Tom Griswold
Because I would make the following argument. FM radio as we know it today is largely due to the presence of the waterbed and the, or the early years of what would now be called, I guess, album rock radio. Almost all of the commercials were for waterbeds.
Chick McGee
Did a lot of remotes at Waterbed warehouse. Yes. Oh, yes.
Tom Griswold
Did you broadcast from a bed?
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Like John and Yoko.
Chick McGee
Yeah. Yes. It was quite a time.
Tom Griswold
I have an idea. I just thought of this.
Advertiser 2
Oh, God, here we go.
Chick McGee
We're doing a sleep in. What are we doing, Christy?
Tom Griswold
We could, we could maybe do a final Bob and Tom album. We did so many CDs over the years. We could do a vinyl record. And I'm envisioning maybe you and Josh on the COVID just like John and Yoko.
Chick McGee
We got to be naked flesh, all the mesh.
Tom Griswold
We'd get you. What do they call those? Pubic wigs?
Chick McGee
I was gonna say, no, no. You have a lot of time to grow.
Advertiser 2
You meant we'd get you a good lawyer. That's what you meant.
Tom Griswold
To call a merkin, Is that it?
Chick McGee
Yeah, yeah, I would.
Tom Griswold
You ever seen the COVID of that record?
Chick McGee
Yes, I have. That woman, she had a lot of hair.
Tom Griswold
Yikes.
Christy Lee
That was the style.
Tom Griswold
We had a story yesterday about, I guess the first attack of the season by a bison on a moron trying to take a selfie at Yellowstone.
Chick McGee
Oh, yeah.
Tom Griswold
I got a nice letter about this. Oh, all right.
Chick McGee
The 47 year old from Florida approached the animal too closely for a selfie and was attacked. He sustained minor injuries, treated on site.
Tom Griswold
This is from Mark.
Chick McGee
Hi, Mark.
Tom Griswold
He goes, I used to drive by a farm in Canada that raised bison. They had a large sign in the fence that read, don't climb the fence unless you can cross the field in 9.7 seconds. Because the bison can do it in 10. And that has the actual stat. A bison can run. What is it, like three times faster than something crazy? Yeah.
Chick McGee
You don't want to be three times faster. Yep.
Tom Griswold
You don't want to be Doing. Doing that.
Chick McGee
Unless they look big, but they can move.
Tom Griswold
Yes siree. Dear Bob and Tom show writes Kirk. I want to say thanks to Steven Singer. I already got the beautiful rose for my wife for Mother's Day. She collects them. I know she'll love this one. Again, I'm working on the entire bouquet. Thank you. I can't wait for the next one to come out. Have a great day. That is from Kirk in Ashley, North Dakota.
Chick McGee
Well, now she knows what she's getting. You just told her?
Advertiser 2
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Oh, she doesn't listen.
Tom Griswold
Are you kidding? Ashley, she's a lovely lady.
Josh Arnold
How many guys have we met with their wives? She doesn't listen.
Chick McGee
Yeah, good point.
Advertiser 2
Many.
Chick McGee
They stand there with that look.
Advertiser 2
This is.
Tom Griswold
This is where he learned that. All he ever says is, that sounds like a sex move. I just said, pass the ketchup. What the hell's wrong with you? Coming up, we have sporting news. Yes, a lot of cool stuff going on in the world of sports. We have someone who ate a beehive with the bees in it.
Josh Arnold
That is.
Advertiser 2
That sounds like a cartoon. Yes, and they spit the bees out.
Tom Griswold
Bullets also. I mean, I'll sing a small snippet of this. Let me see if you can pick out what this is. Pat Godwin. Oh. Yeiko Malva.
Christy Lee
Santana.
Tom Griswold
We have Carlos Santana news.
Advertiser 2
Is he okay?
Tom Griswold
Yes, this is Carlos Santana in sports.
Josh Arnold
Wow.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Coming up.
Advertiser 2
No, no, no. We need to talk about that. Oh, you know what? I will do the story just to illustrate to. To those in the room. Well, you guys know, right, what we're. We're dealing with and the people listening.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Advertiser 2
It's not a. It's not a world record. It's not. It's not interesting.
Tom Griswold
It's.
Josh Arnold
But we were told it's Santana in sports.
Tom Griswold
It is.
Advertiser 2
It's unbelievable.
Chick McGee
Carlos Santa, does he play pickleball now?
Tom Griswold
Oh, you'll see.
Advertiser 2
No, no, I. I feel like I need to do it right now. Oh, ye.
Tom Griswold
Como.
Advertiser 2
You'Re hearing why we need to do the story? Because his last name. Santana.
Tom Griswold
You don't like. You don't love Carlos Santana?
Chick McGee
I don't know. I'm sure if I met him, I'd be.
Advertiser 2
I love listening to Santana on my Raycon earbuds. That's right. And as soon as we get Mother's Day out of the way, you know what's next?
Chick McGee
Rob Thomas.
Advertiser 2
Father's Day. Father's Day, that's right. And dad would love a brand new pair of everyday earbuds from Raycon. He deserves to relax Here you go, pop. Recharge and indeed enjoy his favorite music. Radio shows, podcasts and telephone calls. And crystal clear sound. And 32 hour battery life from Raycon. That's right, multi point connectivity. He could pair two devices at once. And Raycon's quick charge function, 10 minutes of charging, 90 minutes of battery. And they also come with active noise cancellation, often difficult to find at such an accessible dad friendly price point. And they have all the vibrant colors and a 30 day happiness guarantee return policy. And we have a deal for you for dear old dad. Right now, get up to 15% off site wide at buyraycon.com Tom. That's up to 15% off site wide@buyraycon.com Tom. That's buyraycon.com Tom.
Tom Griswold
Thank you very much, Santana. Coming up, eggs in unusual places. Coming up. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Advertiser 2
Race the rudders, Race the sails. Race the sails.
Christy Lee
Captain, an unidentified ship is approaching, over.
Advertiser 2
Roger, wait, is that an enterprise sales solution?
Advertiser 1
Reach sales professionals, not professional sailors.
Tom Griswold
With LinkedIn ads, you can target the right people by industry, job title and more.
Christy Lee
We'll even give you a $100 credit.
Tom Griswold
On your next campaign.
Advertiser 2
Get started today at LinkedIn.com results, terms and conditions apply. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. There's Christy Lee at the Silac insurance news desk. Hi, there's Pat Godwin. Hello. Jess Hooker's here.
Jess Hooker
Hi.
Advertiser 2
She brought food in. Did you bring food in? I did bring, oh, a big tray of food. Tom.
Josh Arnold
There's Josh Arnold and this music sounds great.
Tom Griswold
Oh, yeah.
Christy Lee
Thank you.
Josh Arnold
You're welcome.
Advertiser 2
There's Jeff, Oscar.
Tom Griswold
Thank you, Kevin.
Advertiser 2
I'm Chick McGee. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio.
Josh Arnold
So thank you for teaching Kevin this. Oh, really?
Chick McGee
Forever Kevin Anaker is great.
Christy Lee
The C minor 7 chord.
Tom Griswold
Ladies, looking good today.
Chick McGee
Thank you.
Tom Griswold
Christy, your bangs look just right.
Josh Arnold
Kiss, kiss, kiss.
Tom Griswold
Jess Hooker's got her. Nice. Your helmet hair.
Chick McGee
I know she'd do that. What are you doing?
Josh Arnold
Your helmet hair looks even better. He said.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, it is. Very helmet.
Tom Griswold
It's kind of a helmet of hair. It looks good.
Advertiser 2
Yeah.
Jess Hooker
That's the grow out point. I know.
Christy Lee
I would take that.
Advertiser 2
No, it looks great.
Jess Hooker
It's kind of Bieberish. Young Bieberish.
Josh Arnold
Oh, it looks good. I don't see a helmet when I see your hair.
Jess Hooker
That's okay.
Tom Griswold
I think it's fair. Well, you think so, Christian?
Chick McGee
I mean, your hair looks great.
Jess Hooker
Tom. Trying. Oh, I'm not gonna like, you know, punch.
Advertiser 2
You know what Tom has really been trying, jazz, is to put Josh into a better mood. One of those mornings, as a matter of fact, I was in my brain, I thought, well, Jess, if she's listening, is not coming in. So, yeah, very much one of those mornings.
Tom Griswold
So you ever notice it when you say to someone, wow, you sure are in a bad mood? That never helps.
Advertiser 2
No, never once worked.
Tom Griswold
It's like saying, ever said to somebody, hey, calm down, and they go, oh, I hadn't thought of that.
Advertiser 2
I heard yesterday.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Advertiser 2
And I'm not making any. Anything up that I'm about to tell you.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Advertiser 2
If you put your hand over your left eye.
Josh Arnold
Okay.
Advertiser 2
And look up and breathe it, it makes you less anxious and calms you down.
Josh Arnold
Okay.
Chick McGee
Why your left eye?
Advertiser 2
I don't know. I heard there's something about the brain and the thing, and it really does kind of sort of work.
Christy Lee
I heard if you take your.
Josh Arnold
Your left.
Christy Lee
Left hand and drink a bottle of Jameson.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Really?
Advertiser 2
Evidently, it really does work. Seriously? It's a technique. Yes.
Tom Griswold
Huh. A coping mechanism.
Advertiser 2
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Pretty interesting.
Tom Griswold
I'm not sure. Is it now if you're left handed, does it then switch?
Advertiser 2
Nope.
Jess Hooker
I think it's a right brain, left.
Advertiser 2
Brain, left brain, right brain thing.
Chick McGee
Yes.
Advertiser 2
It decreases anxiety. I've done it 38 times.
Tom Griswold
And can you walk me through it one more time? This is kind of like the hope.
Advertiser 2
Take your hand, put it over your left eye.
Tom Griswold
Check.
Advertiser 2
Okay. Gotta take your glass out and then look up. And then just move your head or just.
Tom Griswold
Just your eyeball.
Advertiser 2
Just look up.
Josh Arnold
And breathing is important.
Advertiser 2
And then just breathe for a little bit. And there you go. It turns off your anxious, interesting.
Tom Griswold
Kind of a Maharishi thing.
Advertiser 2
Anxiety. Decreases anxiety.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Josh Arnold
Hey, whatever it takes.
Advertiser 2
Yeah. Whatever it takes. You know, most of us do need to have Tom tell us to calm down. And what's your problem? Is also a good one.
Josh Arnold
Yes. This will make you happy.
Advertiser 2
This. I hope this makes you happy.
Jess Hooker
I got wound up in here one time during a commercial, and it was me and him, and I think Christy. And this is what he did. He just put his hand up him as Tom.
Josh Arnold
Okay.
Jess Hooker
Just put his hand up, closed his eyes and was just like. Couldn't even say anything to me. He was just like, shut up.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Enough.
Chick McGee
Enough. Yes.
Tom Griswold
Okay, well, now you missed it. We talked a lot about the new pope.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
And maybe we should break.
Chick McGee
She's wearing her white sock shirt. I'm sure.
Josh Arnold
There you go.
Tom Griswold
I mean, they're wondering. I think he's going to be a fairly cool Pope. Did you notice he's from Chicago?
Jess Hooker
Yes.
Tom Griswold
And he wore his mitre backwards with the expanding thing in front. That's always.
Chick McGee
Show some respect.
Tom Griswold
Always a great look. Pardon me.
Chick McGee
Show some respect.
Advertiser 2
With the election of American Cardinal Robert Prevost as the new pope, City of Chicago abuzz. Pope Leo 14 being one of their own long before being elected as the 267th pope. Boy, this Catholic thing's been going on wild.
Chick McGee
Yeah, it's been a while.
Josh Arnold
They're actually gonna hold. They're gonna have a special five minutes of no gunfire today.
Tom Griswold
He was a nice tribute.
Josh Arnold
Born in Chicago.
Advertiser 2
Initially, an ABC News reporter and I would tell you their name, but it doesn't give it here in the story said that Pope Leo was a Cubs fan. That couldn't be more wrong. And the Cubs put up on the Wrigley Field the famous scoreboard there in front and said, hey, Chicago, he's a Cubs fan. Well, that's wrong because here's.
Josh Arnold
But that's Cubs for you. They just assume everyone's a Cubs fan.
Advertiser 2
Pope Leo said the Cardinals fan. Here's Pope Leo's brother, Bobby Jr. No, I don't. I'm not sure what his name. His brother gave a definitive answer to wgn. Here's Pope's brother.
Christy Lee
Yeah, he was never ever a Cubs fan, so I don't know where that came from. He was always a Sox fan.
Advertiser 2
Our mother was a Cubs fan. I don't know, maybe that clued in there. And our dad was a Cardinals fan.
Christy Lee
So I don't know where that all came from. And all the aunts.
Josh Arnold
Our mom's family was from north side.
Advertiser 2
So that's why they were Cubs fans.
Josh Arnold
Sir, all I asked you if you were. I asked if you were. I asked if you were younger or older.
Christy Lee
That's all.
Advertiser 2
That was John Prevost, Bobby's brother.
Chick McGee
Ah, there you go.
Tom Griswold
Younger or older?
Advertiser 2
Bravos. He looks older, actually, to be honest. I don't know.
Tom Griswold
But yeah, we learned that the new Pope is Leo the 14th because the. The new guy. And that so far, they've always been guys that we know. Yeah, you never know under the robe. You seen Conclave? Okay, I'm sorry.
Josh Arnold
Not everybody has. You gotta knock that off.
Tom Griswold
But he gets to choose his own name.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Okay. So, Pat, do you want to play your tribute to the. The Chicago born Robert Prevost, the new post.
Christy Lee
I'm Leo the 14th. I am Leo the 14th. I am. I am. I can't marry the widow next door. Cause I wouldn't be the Pope no more in all these years I've been celibate, Celibate I never slept with a Nelly or a Sam no Sam I'm the brand new Pope from Chi town Leo the 14th, I am second verse, same as the first. I'm Leo the 14th, I am Leo the 14th I am, I am I can't marry the widow next door Cause I wouldn't be the Pope no more in all these years I've been celibate Celibate. I slept with a Nelly or a Sam no SAM I'm the first pope. That's American. Leo the 14th, I am. I am Leo the 14th I am.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. All right. A nice tribute. I'm sure they'll be playing that at White Sox games during the seventh inning stretch. Now we turn to Chick Magee because it's time for sports.
Advertiser 2
Julius Randall. Julius had 24 points, 11 assists. It's from Jerry Lewis, who's a nutty professor and led the Minnesota Timberwolves 11793 victory over the Steph Curryless Golden State Warriors. They call them the dubs. Anthony Edwards finished with 20 points after an injury scare. The Wolves more than tripled their three point output output from game one loss. And they did not not shoot very well. Curry suffered a left hamstring strain. The injury likely side sidelined Curry at least until next week. The warriors are going to be without this certain hall of Famer. And Jonathan Kaminga had 18 points and Trace Jackson Davis had 15 for the warriors off the bench tonight. The third game Cavs at the Pacers. Of course Indiana holds a two game to not lead in that series. And then Oklahoma City at Denver tonight. That one tied at a game a piece. NHL last night Washington even sings at a game of peace. They beat Carolina 3 to 1 overtime. Edmonton beat Vegas 5 4. The Oils have a two game to none lead in that. And we already talked about the Pope being a White Sox fan. And the Pakistan Cricket board has shifted the remaining eight matches of their Pakistan Super League. You know, finally, this has been 2020 competition to Dubai in the United Arab Emirates following the war that they're having trouble with.
Chick McGee
That'll help.
Advertiser 2
Yeah. They're going.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Advertiser 2
This is a gigantic thing worldwide.
Chick McGee
Whoa.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, it sure is.
Advertiser 2
The Pakistani Indian cricket's a big deal. Do you know how to play?
Josh Arnold
Huge.
Advertiser 2
That seems like something you like. Lawn bowling, Cricket.
Tom Griswold
My summer camp, we used to play cricket on the beach. It was incredibly fun on the beach.
Advertiser 2
Is that a true statement?
Tom Griswold
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No if camp. Hey, I want to. It's a tradition.
Advertiser 2
You had the cricket bat and everything.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, it was great.
Advertiser 2
The flat bat.
Tom Griswold
I'm sure the rules. We used a tennis ball. I'm sure the rules were vastly different, but it was really fun.
Advertiser 2
A Pittsburgh Pirate stadium.
Tom Griswold
That's at the time the one guy slid into it and got the. Like a sharp thing. Right. What's in the taint area?
Josh Arnold
Splinter.
Chick McGee
Right.
Tom Griswold
No, no, no. It was. Well, the actual story is he was pulling a kind of a boat, sort of a rowboat kind of onto the shore. Cricket on the beach place. And there was this sort of flange on the bow of the boat that had had a hole in it. It's kind of hard to explain. Like a flat piece of metal.
Josh Arnold
Oh, this. Okay. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Flat piece of metal. About the size of a pack of cigarettes, but thin. And then he pulled it. And as he slipped, he pulled that right into his groin.
Chick McGee
Oh, my God.
Josh Arnold
I thought it was a cricket store.
Chick McGee
I thought it was a cricket store.
Tom Griswold
Well, this. We played cricket on the beach. And then he have to get massive stitches between his male member and his B hole. That was funny.
Advertiser 2
Hey, I've got a picture of a new pope.
Chick McGee
Is that why we're doing the cricket story?
Advertiser 2
He's a White Sox fan. The White Sox and the Houston Astros in 2005 were at the World Series. And here's a picture. If you see. There he is on. Talking to someone on the phone. I don't know who that gentleman is in the foreground, but Die hard White Sox fans watching the World Series.
Jess Hooker
Wow.
Advertiser 2
So there you go.
Josh Arnold
All right.
Chick McGee
Father Bob. That's what they called him.
Advertiser 2
Father Bob.
Tom Griswold
Is that. Is he wearing a baseball?
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Advertiser 2
Socks. Jersey. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Okay. I couldn't tell if that was the collar or not.
Chick McGee
No, they don't have to wear a collar.
Christy Lee
Young in the left photo.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Advertiser 2
The late Birdie Young was also a socksman. Yeah, exactly right.
Tom Griswold
Wearing. But wearing the collar is helpful.
Chick McGee
Definitely helps, especially if you're on a golf course.
Tom Griswold
I know your famous story about you're playing golf with a priest, and the one guy didn't know ye person the whole time, and you said something, father, and the guy went, what?
Josh Arnold
They always will treat you a little better at the strip club if you wear that.
Jess Hooker
You just keep yours in your glove compartment.
Josh Arnold
That's right, yeah.
Advertiser 2
What's the penalty for. I know. Impersonating a police officer, Impersonating a priest.
Josh Arnold
I don't think. No, no, there is.
Advertiser 2
Eventually, it's.
Tom Griswold
It's sort of Put off.
Advertiser 2
But the risk reward thing, what would it.
Tom Griswold
If you find yourself in a waiting room and you look around and oh look, they're. They're the Menendez brothers. What am I doing here? Oh, wait a minute. I mean it was that priest gag.
Advertiser 2
It's another baseball story.
Josh Arnold
Are you unhappy with this one?
Advertiser 2
39 year old Carlos Santana.
Tom Griswold
Oh yeah, Comova.
Josh Arnold
Clearly not the. Because you didn't say 104.
Advertiser 2
39 year old Carlos Santana. No, the oldest is Satchel page of 59, but they were never really sure of his age. But anyway, Carlos Santa, the second oldest position player currently in Major League Baseball.
Josh Arnold
Right, Right.
Advertiser 2
That's the story.
Chick McGee
Carlos Santana plays baseball now and he got younger.
Advertiser 2
Santana says surviving the game's rigors comes with sacrifice and preparation and discipline. Discipline. Now, now, keep listening because if you're waiting for something interesting in the story, it's not coming.
Tom Griswold
Guys.
Advertiser 2
The second oldest is why he has a personal chef at his disposal as most professional athletes do, both for homestands in Cleveland and in Tampa during the off season. Once again, he's the second oldest position player.
Josh Arnold
Yes.
Jess Hooker
Who's the oldest?
Advertiser 2
He spends time atop the massage table before and after every game.
Chick McGee
Who cares?
Josh Arnold
The oldest, Jess, is not named Carlos Santana.
Chick McGee
Talking about it.
Advertiser 2
Right.
Tom Griswold
Are you a fan of the great Carlos Santana, the guitar player?
Jess Hooker
Yeah, I think he's great.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Jess Hooker
See I like his work.
Tom Griswold
Thought I'd bring up.
Chick McGee
So that's it. We could have just said hey, Carlos Santana is a great player.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, but I think it's, it's. There's a guy.
Advertiser 2
Justin Verlander is the oldest right now. He's 40. He's 42 years old. Which is three years older then the second oldest player, Carlos Santana.
Tom Griswold
Does Justin Verlander know his way around?
Chick McGee
He knows his way around a beautiful woman, I can tell you that.
Josh Arnold
Jake, I have a warning for you. The fifth oldest outfielder is named Richie Havens. So we'll probably be doing that story.
Advertiser 2
Oh boy.
Christy Lee
Fourth oldest John Mayer.
Tom Griswold
Oh, this is great. We could do like the. The guitar. Guitar players greatest baseball team. This is so exciting.
Advertiser 2
Once again, just to just. What did I do with that story? Just to review.
Tom Griswold
Let me just.
Advertiser 2
Carlos Santana. 39 year old Carlos Santana, second oldest position player.
Tom Griswold
He switch hits.
Advertiser 2
Wait, he has some.
Christy Lee
Hold on.
Advertiser 2
He has some obvious hints for you. Sacrifice, preparation, discipline.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. Oh yeah.
Advertiser 2
Who would have thought that.
Josh Arnold
No, no, no athlete, personal chef has.
Advertiser 2
That going for him.
Jess Hooker
This guy doesn't even play guitar or anything.
Advertiser 2
No, but he has the same name.
Tom Griswold
He bats with A Strat or a.
Chick McGee
Or a Fender or a Gibson.
Advertiser 2
No, he doesn't.
Chick McGee
Whatever.
Josh Arnold
What.
Jeff Oskay
What are they saying in that song?
Tom Griswold
Oh, they're speaking Spanish.
Advertiser 2
Well, what is that?
Josh Arnold
What does Oye como va mean?
Jeff Oskay
I always thought I said, oh, is that a como va? I like it.
Christy Lee
Oh, is that a comova?
Jeff Oskay
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Oh, a comb over. Oh, that's good.
Jeff Oskay
I honestly thought that's what it said.
Josh Arnold
Oh, is that a Como.
Advertiser 2
Oh, Pat, you gotta.
Tom Griswold
You gotta to. You and Jeffrey have to put that one together.
Christy Lee
I like it.
Tom Griswold
Oh, the percussion on this.
Advertiser 2
This is about the time that I say during a Santana show, hey, you just played this one.
Tom Griswold
Oh, come on. How about that? Great song with Rob Thomas.
Chick McGee
I love that song.
Advertiser 2
That's not a typical Santana song.
Tom Griswold
When Carlos kicks in with his guitar, you know. Oh, that's Carlos Santana.
Advertiser 2
He plays with his face. You've seen him play, Jeff.
Christy Lee
I have one. We got. We could also see. Do I got a black Magic Marker?
Advertiser 2
Oh, yeah.
Tom Griswold
Got a black magic marker.
Christy Lee
Oh, yeah. Come over.
Chick McGee
According to Santana. Oh, my oye comova means Listen to how it goes. Come and enjoy it.
Jess Hooker
Oh, okay.
Advertiser 2
Listen how it goes.
Chick McGee
Listen how it goes. Come and enjoy it.
Josh Arnold
That can't be the literal translation of Oye como Vibe.
Chick McGee
I know I say that, but. But yeah, maybe it is.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, I guess it would be.
Tom Griswold
Come with you V over here.
Josh Arnold
Or come with life. I don't know.
Advertiser 2
Or ejaculate.
Tom Griswold
That's. Oh, that's it.
Advertiser 2
I'm not sure.
Tom Griswold
Have you ever. Ms. Hooker? Have you ever seen the. Ever seen the movie Woodstock?
Jess Hooker
No. No.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, the. The highlight for me. And I hate drum solos.
Jess Hooker
Okay.
Tom Griswold
The drum solo in the Santana segment is incredible. It's short. It's great. It's beautiful. The kids like 19 doing it.
Jess Hooker
It's not Santana doing it.
Tom Griswold
What's Carlos's band? Carlos is up there.
Advertiser 2
He hired.
Josh Arnold
It.
Advertiser 2
Shows how important the guy making decisions was with the band.
Jess Hooker
Oh, right, right.
Chick McGee
Listen, how it Goes is the literal Spanish translation.
Josh Arnold
Interesting.
Jess Hooker
How it goes?
Tom Griswold
Have you ever seen Woodstock? Don't you remember that?
Chick McGee
Great.
Advertiser 2
Yes, I have.
Tom Griswold
Every once in a while, when I'm in a certain mood, I'll just go and watch that drum. So solo. Really? And I hate drum solos, as a general rule.
Advertiser 2
You know, it's a long movie.
Chick McGee
You could go watch it now.
Advertiser 2
I did not say that.
Christy Lee
You're telling us every now and then you put that on to watch the drum?
Tom Griswold
Yes, I do.
Jess Hooker
Where do you find it?
Advertiser 2
At your house?
Christy Lee
You can't even.
Chick McGee
You can't Even turn the TV on.
Jess Hooker
He probably just.
Advertiser 2
There's no way in hell. Unless someone comes in and shows you. Here's where.
Tom Griswold
Woodstock. Absolute fact.
Josh Arnold
Oh, Amy, please find the solo.
Advertiser 2
And then Amy has to drive an hour and a half to come turn on Woodstock.
Christy Lee
The car is detailed. Could you bring that around?
Chick McGee
And no wonder she can't do your alterations anymore. She's got to turn your TV on, too.
Advertiser 2
I'm trying to get them.
Tom Griswold
I'm trying to get them to move so I can get her over there quicker to do things.
Advertiser 2
You have Amy. You have Amy. Hem your jeans now.
Tom Griswold
No, that was.
Advertiser 2
I have a. Tom. Is that a lie?
Tom Griswold
I told you there was a problem that I'm having. This. I can't talk about it this late in the show.
Chick McGee
What?
Advertiser 2
Your penis is just too large.
Tom Griswold
There's a secret issue that a certain person could be listening. I have to have some.
Jess Hooker
Oh, we gotta wait.
Tom Griswold
I have to have some unusual.
Advertiser 2
What's it called?
Chick McGee
Alterations.
Tom Griswold
No, it involves sewing something.
Chick McGee
Monograms.
Tom Griswold
Not. No, it's not.
Josh Arnold
He did tell us yesterday, but it's all right.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, it's okay. Yeah, but.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, is it where you tore the couch?
Advertiser 2
He.
Josh Arnold
Flip that cushion over. That's all.
Tom Griswold
No, no, it was. It's a dog issue. It involves a hungry dog and something that might be made of fabric.
Advertiser 2
Have you ever been whipped with a belt?
Chick McGee
No.
Advertiser 2
We'll have these guys coming up.
Christy Lee
I have, yeah.
Tom Griswold
Oh, really?
Josh Arnold
Mine was at a bachelor party.
Advertiser 2
Oh, there you go. Yeah, I had strippers whip. Whip me on stage, but they did not use a belt. As I recall. You were there. Do you remember this or not? Remember me being whipped?
Tom Griswold
No.
Advertiser 2
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Josh Arnold
I was being whipped with a belt. And I go, please stop. Just use your hand. And she goes, gladly. It hurts worse. And she used her hand and it hurt way worse.
Jess Hooker
Really?
Josh Arnold
I had no idea.
Tom Griswold
We have apparently belt whipping in the news.
Advertiser 2
Yes, sir.
Tom Griswold
When we return, we are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Advertiser 1
More of the show is on the way. You can find us on XOB and Tom or you can email us at bob and tomobandtom.com.
Chick McGee
Hi, this is Debbie, your blinds.com design consultant. Oh, wow, A real person.
Tom Griswold
Yep.
Chick McGee
I am here to help you with everything from selecting the perfect window treatments to.
Tom Griswold
Well, I've got a complicated project. Oh, not a problem.
Chick McGee
I can even schedule a professional measure and install.
Tom Griswold
We can also send you samples fast and free.
Chick McGee
Hmm.
Tom Griswold
I just might have to do more. Oh, okay. So the first room we're looking at.
Chick McGee
Is for guests shopblinds.com now and save up to 40% site wide blinds.com rules.
Tom Griswold
And restrictions may apply would be very handy. Pay attention.
Advertiser 2
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom show. Christy Lee. Hey, Pat Godwin.
Christy Lee
Hey, Chick.
Advertiser 2
Jess Hooker.
Jess Hooker
Hey, Jake.
Advertiser 2
There's Josh Arnold. Hello. There's Javasc. Hey Chick. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts. For all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Hello, Tom special.
Tom Griswold
Hello. Closed circuit to Annie and Savanny.
Josh Arnold
What's old Annie up to?
Tom Griswold
Oh, something special.
Advertiser 2
Savannah, Georgia.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, of course.
Advertiser 2
All right.
Chick McGee
Love Savannah, Georgia.
Tom Griswold
Hello, Annie.
Advertiser 2
And now only city in the country and rhymes with banana.
Chick McGee
Yep.
Tom Griswold
And the famous bananas, of course.
Advertiser 2
Savannah bananas.
Tom Griswold
We were discussing the great Carlos Santana.
Advertiser 2
No, no, we weren't. We're going to another. We were moving on and going to another. Another store.
Tom Griswold
I was trying to explain to Ms. Hooker, Carlos Santana, of course the second oldest active baseball player.
Advertiser 2
Position.
Tom Griswold
Position player. Sorry.
Advertiser 2
He's the sixth oldest baseball player.
Jess Hooker
Stop it.
Tom Griswold
Currently playing. See, I knew I could get him excited about this. No, but he has the same. He has the same name, of course, as the great guitarist and band leader.
Advertiser 2
I'm just glad there's not like a third baseman named Leo.
Chick McGee
Yeah, right.
Tom Griswold
I wouldn't do it. Oh, I hate his.
Christy Lee
You know I can't.
Chick McGee
You hate Leo?
Tom Griswold
Say I don't know him, but I, I hate him and like dancing. Yeah. When that would come on the, on the radio, I would climb down from the ladder of the house I was painting. It made me feel like changing the channel. Do you have any Zeppelin, Carlos?
Advertiser 2
Not that's.
Tom Griswold
I, I acknowledge that.
Advertiser 2
Okay.
Tom Griswold
Carlo Carlos Santana. If you really have to see the movie Woodstock, it is the. The launch pad of.
Jess Hooker
So is this like a documentary about actual Woodstock?
Tom Griswold
It's great. Okay.
Josh Arnold
I actually love it too.
Christy Lee
But well done film.
Advertiser 2
They took for its time. They took three days of peace. Of love. Peace and love. And distilled like three hours, two and a half hours. And somehow the movie seems longer than the actual three days.
Josh Arnold
I do like it. I, I, Yeah.
Christy Lee
Beautiful piece of history.
Jess Hooker
When did it come out?
Christy Lee
Long time ago.
Tom Griswold
About a year after the 1970. Yeah, the concert was. The music was amazing, but there were a lot of problems. It was muddy, it rained the whole time. A lot of lightning. But one of the highlights. This is what launched Santana's career. They were a San Francisco band, but this made them famous. And I was saying, I don't particularly care for drum solos, but the Santana band, I think this is Michael Shreve. I believe his name.
Advertiser 2
Oh, Lord.
Christy Lee
Michael Shreve.
Advertiser 2
You're gonna play it?
Tom Griswold
I mean, just a little bit of it. This is a live on stage Woodstock. You can almost smell the rain. He's like 20, 19 years old.
Advertiser 2
Whatever.
Tom Griswold
It's just amazing.
Jeff Oskay
How many fixes are using.
Tom Griswold
Oh, it sounds like three guys.
Advertiser 2
I think Jeff Oskar said it sounds a lot like a street drummer on a plastic tub. Didn't you say?
Jeff Oskay
No, I said a street drummer on a plastic tub is better than this.
Tom Griswold
Oh, my God, you're wrong.
Advertiser 2
There you go.
Tom Griswold
No, when it. When the. When the organ kicks in again. Oh, it's. It's one of the great moments.
Christy Lee
And every now and then you'll just listen to this part.
Tom Griswold
I'll go.
Advertiser 2
Go.
Tom Griswold
I'll watch it. Cuz you watch the intensity of this kid playing it. It's great. It was a general rule. I'm not a drum solo guy, as I mentioned, but. Oh, wait a minute. Here's the weird stuff. Then it just. It kicks back in any second now.
Jeff Oskay
Are you trying to figure out what hell's going to feel like?
Tom Griswold
Is it going to feel like this or sound like. Oh, this is great stuff.
Chick McGee
This is where everybody's buying T shirts.
Advertiser 2
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
No.
Chick McGee
Yes.
Tom Griswold
They didn't even have T shirts, though. This is where everybody's turning the radio off.
Advertiser 2
See? Doesn't it seem like you've been here for a couple days?
Tom Griswold
I guess it's better when you're.
Advertiser 2
When you're watching it.
Chick McGee
Yeah. When you're watching, it's got to be better.
Tom Griswold
Where does it kick in? It kicks in any second now.
Advertiser 2
Can you imagine if we.
Tom Griswold
Oh, come on, kick it in. All right, we're getting closer.
Jess Hooker
Who can shut this off? Can you. Do you know how to do that yet?
Josh Arnold
Nope.
Tom Griswold
Oh, there it is. It kicked in, right?
Christy Lee
Oh, my God. They're at the ballpark.
Advertiser 2
Wait a minute. I can't believe the actual band playing is worse than the drums. No, it's great.
Tom Griswold
How dare you. I'm sorry. Boy. This weekend, that's your assignment.
Chick McGee
Go watch the movie. Okay.
Advertiser 2
Maybe I will.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Christy Lee
No.
Chick McGee
Beautiful weekend.
Advertiser 2
No. You didn't hear what she said. Said, maybe I will.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. You know what? That is the way to play.
Advertiser 2
Maybe I'll wear my big pants so monkeys can fly out of my ass.
Tom Griswold
Oh, the who are great in the movie.
Advertiser 2
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Oh, and there's a really fun thing you know what?
Jess Hooker
That's three hours.
Chick McGee
That's really long.
Jess Hooker
I would really have to do it over.
Tom Griswold
It's okay. You can. You can break it up. Just go watch the various.
Advertiser 2
He is right about. That's the first time I saw the who. And I thought up until then, I was Bobby Sherman and the Partridge Family. And I saw the who and I went, oh, this. Okay. All right.
Chick McGee
I had that aha moment with the Beatles come together. That song. I went, went, oh, what a gamble.
Josh Arnold
To have Sha on show up at Woodstock.
Chick McGee
Right.
Josh Arnold
It could have gone one of two ways. They were a throwback,'50s doop sort of thing. It could have. It could have just sat there.
Chick McGee
Right.
Josh Arnold
But the crowd loved it. They ate it up.
Chick McGee
And they were all. Are they in the movie?
Josh Arnold
Yeah, they do show up.
Tom Griswold
That's where they got famous. They were. That was a joke band started at Columbia.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. It could have. I mean, it could have gone real.
Advertiser 2
Did they ask you to joke because about the same time you were there? No. No. They want you to be in the band.
Tom Griswold
I would have love to have been in the band.
Advertiser 2
Is that right?
Josh Arnold
Woodstock rocks. Until Joan Baez comes up and just screeches on the brakes.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. She goes, david is in prison now. Okay. Yeah. And I'm not.
Advertiser 2
I'm not. Everyone having fun.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Advertiser 2
David's in prison.
Josh Arnold
I'm not criticizing her, but it just brings the whole thing a screeching.
Tom Griswold
Have you seen John Sebastian? Does he get up there and go, far out, man.
Christy Lee
Well, he's completely high. He didn't know he was going to play.
Advertiser 2
Play, though. Have you seen the longer version, though? I don't know if you. You're aware of this, but there were some extra songs.
Christy Lee
Oh, that is.
Josh Arnold
He actually came after.
Tom Griswold
Yes. Lightning would have struck me.
Christy Lee
That was like a 3am Wasn't it?
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah.
Christy Lee
The rain was coming down.
Tom Griswold
He said lightning in the background. He had that ridiculous hair.
Advertiser 2
A Pittsburgh Pirate Stadium employee has been suspended. Do we have a video of this? I'm sorry. After he was filmed whipping a fan with a belt.
Jess Hooker
What?
Josh Arnold
There's too much happening at this stadium in the last two weeks.
Tom Griswold
I say this guy deserved it.
Josh Arnold
Okay, what did he do?
Advertiser 2
The video clip shows the employee and the fan having a verbal confrontation before the staffer punches the fan. Yes, the fan allegedly spit on the employee.
Jeff Oskay
No, he multiple spit on the employee.
Josh Arnold
Oh, you'd have to say that. We knew this happened in Pittsburgh.
Advertiser 2
At which point the employee removed his belt and whipped the fan with it.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Advertiser 2
The incident occurred during Sunday's game between the Pirates and the pods. The Pirates said in a statement that PNC park game day employees behavior entirely unacceptable and he was immediately suspended.
Josh Arnold
Oh, okay.
Advertiser 2
The incident is currently under further investigation. A Pirate spokesperson said the employee intervened on behalf of a female employee who had a verbal confrontation with the fan. Yeah, he came over and I say.
Tom Griswold
The guy deserved that. I say issue fungal bats to the security people.
Jess Hooker
Give them tasers.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Pittsburgh, that stadium is one of the my favorite stadium and one of my least favorite fan bases.
Chick McGee
Oh, really?
Josh Arnold
Yes.
Advertiser 2
I couldn't believe 79 was a long time ago.
Josh Arnold
How mean they were.
Jess Hooker
But don't they say that about the Steelers fan base too?
Josh Arnold
I don't know. Do they?
Advertiser 2
Yeah, I don't think so. I think the Eagles.
Jess Hooker
Okay. Okay.
Advertiser 2
Cowboys. It's kind of rough to be. Gotcha.
Jeff Oskay
I've read that they would suspend his suspension if he would start wearing suspenders.
Josh Arnold
Well, how about that? Has he considered that that.
Advertiser 2
Well, that would only make good sense.
Tom Griswold
Well, don't leave us in suspense. What happened?
Advertiser 2
You know what? I'll. I'll handle this. Tom. Thank you. Jeff. Thank you very much.
Tom Griswold
Excellent addition, yet not a save.
Advertiser 2
Coming up, we got World Video Game hall of Fame inducting new members. Who likes video games?
Josh Arnold
I do.
Chick McGee
I do.
Tom Griswold
Many, many folks.
Advertiser 2
Hall of fame, game hall of fame, video games and world record in bare feet.
Tom Griswold
Okay, this is so dumb.
Advertiser 2
What does it say here? No bare feet.
Josh Arnold
Now, what does this sign say?
Advertiser 2
This sign say no fighting caddy.
Josh Arnold
Pick up that blood.
Tom Griswold
And no, we'll try to pick up that drum solo taking drugs.
Advertiser 2
Danny.
Tom Griswold
When we come back, we are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Advertiser 1
Got a comment to share? Text us at 888-262-8661. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Advertiser 2
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk. Betcha there's Pat Godwin. Hello. Jess Hooker's here.
Jess Hooker
Hi.
Advertiser 2
And the break room smells wonderful. There are. There are what? Italian shells. What are they?
Jess Hooker
Yeah, I have some stuffed shells with ragu.
Tom Griswold
In honor of the new pope, Josh Arnold.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, yeah, sure. That's.
Advertiser 2
Yeah, right.
Josh Arnold
I bet he would enjoy those.
Jess Hooker
Actually, I made him for Jeffy. He's done such a good job the last few weeks.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, thank you.
Advertiser 2
And he's. He's all hooked up. Well, we probably. He's all.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, you can say it.
Advertiser 2
No, hooked up with.
Jeff Oskay
I'm not shaved up.
Advertiser 2
He's got a heart. He's Wearing a heart monitor this morning.
Chick McGee
I thought you were way hairier.
Jess Hooker
Did you have to shave for that?
Jeff Oskay
Well, I wish they would have told me so I could have shaved for it so I didn't have to have. Have Brad do it yesterday.
Tom Griswold
Now wait a second, Brad. Wait a second.
Advertiser 2
Best employee.
Tom Griswold
Yes. Both Chick and I have had open heart surgery. And when they shave you now, what did you tip? I did a solid. I did a solid 25% because in my case, they also. They had to shave down there.
Jeff Oskay
You had to tip?
Advertiser 2
Oh, yeah. You must tip. Oh, yeah.
Tom Griswold
Actually, you know, they don't want you to shave yourself.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, they don't.
Tom Griswold
They send you a thing saying do not. Yeah, they. Because they.
Josh Arnold
So they can charge you 400 bucks for it.
Jess Hooker
Oh, there you go.
Advertiser 2
You know, this is a.
Tom Griswold
That's not true.
Josh Arnold
They can charge the insurance company.
Advertiser 2
The old. It's the old. You know, the government has automobiles that run on water, cost nothing. And the hospitals do have kick ass razors that aren't available to the public. And they're amazing. And no, no irritation or they're. And you can't buy them unless you're a doctor.
Josh Arnold
Is that true?
Advertiser 2
Yes.
Josh Arnold
I had no idea.
Jess Hooker
I thought they were just straight bics. Yeah, like a blue one.
Jeff Oskay
The one he used when he hit me with the alcohol swab after it burned.
Tom Griswold
So wait a second. So they shaved you?
Advertiser 2
You must have pissed Brad off.
Josh Arnold
Yes.
Tom Griswold
This is. This is. We need to point out, you did not have open heart surgery. This is an external device.
Advertiser 2
Right.
Jeff Oskay
It's like a tape monitor. No, it's glued on for two weeks.
Chick McGee
How do you get it off?
Jeff Oskay
Well, that's what I asked. I go, so when you take this off, does it hurt? And he goes, well, you can let me know because you're the one who takes it off at home. So we'll find.
Jess Hooker
Which I said dissolved solving stuff. Solvent that you put on it.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, he didn't say anything about that.
Jess Hooker
I have some.
Advertiser 2
Okay.
Tom Griswold
When Josh said, I want to get it off because you got to do that by yourself. You're only paying me for the shave.
Advertiser 2
Well, at least you thought that's what Josh said because his mouth was full of pizza.
Josh Arnold
I think that's exactly.
Chick McGee
And he's washing it down with hot chocolate.
Advertiser 2
That's right. Prostitute scrapping his crotch. He's a busy man.
Josh Arnold
A lot of love going on.
Advertiser 2
There's. I have a sports story.
Tom Griswold
You have to shut up, Josh. If it were Josh, it would have been Jeff.
Advertiser 2
We're proud of you.
Josh Arnold
Sexual income we're proud of you for doing that. Getting yourself checked out, making sure everything's good.
Advertiser 2
I am so surprised that doesn't sync up to your phone somehow. There's a Bluetooth app. Me too.
Jeff Oskay
If you saw the medical center I was at, they. They aren't Bluetooth. And nothing.
Advertiser 2
All right.
Josh Arnold
It's like the cord that's attached to goes all the way back down.
Jeff Oskay
It cost me $300 to keep it.
Advertiser 2
Well, but you have a cigarette lighter attached, so plug in your car.
Tom Griswold
Have you ever had the surgery where they have to go down there? They have to. They have to put the tube in there?
Advertiser 2
No, I have. Why did I get shaved for? No, no. Open heart. They went through. They did, yeah. They can go through your wrist now. They went through my groin.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, me too. That did.
Advertiser 2
And that's where they had.
Tom Griswold
But I didn't know. I didn't know they'd done the shaving.
Advertiser 2
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
And they had to go through both sides down there. And when I. When I woke up the next day, I was actually on the phone with Kelly, and I. I said I walked by a mirror for the first time naked, and I didn't realize they'd only sort of shaved. They kind of left like a. Yeah. Landing strip area. Yeah. Mohawk for the ladies. The Clippler. It was just like that yesterday, too.
Jess Hooker
I know. I heard it yesterday, and I didn't like it then either.
Advertiser 2
And you said.
Josh Arnold
Oh, man, how many things are wrong with that joke? Let me count the waves.
Chick McGee
Yes.
Advertiser 2
There's Hitler.
Tom Griswold
That's what the nurses call it.
Chick McGee
They do not.
Advertiser 2
And what kind of an. A numb idiot does it know that you can't feel that half of your groin hair is gone?
Tom Griswold
Because I'd been put under with some great chemicals.
Jess Hooker
I mean, you don't know it unless you actually touch it, that it's gone.
Advertiser 2
I think there'd be some sort of tactile.
Tom Griswold
No, I didn't.
Jess Hooker
Would you feel a breeze?
Advertiser 2
I would feel, like, the gown up against my bare sack, I think, at some point.
Tom Griswold
Absolutely. True story.
Advertiser 2
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
I had no idea they shaved me down there like that.
Chick McGee
Did you leave it like that?
Tom Griswold
Yes, but it. Obviously, it grew back, but it did have kind of that puffy Mohawk look for a while.
Advertiser 2
You don't play.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the big eye hair, you should.
Chick McGee
You should have kept that. You should have kept it sculpted.
Advertiser 2
You know, feel sassy. Switch it up some weekend.
Tom Griswold
I know. I just.
Advertiser 2
I.
Tom Griswold
You know me, I just shaved 3/4 of. Into a comb over.
Josh Arnold
Ah, Como.
Tom Griswold
That was a Nice call back. I would have appreciated an acknowledgement.
Christy Lee
Now, when they shave you down there, they tape your member up on your chest. Where do they put. Where do they put your big hog?
Josh Arnold
He tucks it under his chin like he's talking on the phone.
Tom Griswold
They brought in. They. They brought in the guy from the zoo that handles the python.
Josh Arnold
Jeff, did they use shaving cream?
Jeff Oskay
No.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. Yeah, that's. I think that's kind of what Chick is talking about.
Advertiser 2
Dry shave.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, right, right.
Jeff Oskay
It was dry.
Advertiser 2
Oh, the World Video Game hall of Fame.
Josh Arnold
Oh, I like this.
Advertiser 2
I did not even know it existed, but it does. And they've inducted four new honorees.
Tom Griswold
You know where it is?
Advertiser 2
I do not.
Tom Griswold
It's in the basement of the guy's parents who founded the hall of Fame.
Josh Arnold
He knows how. How much time his son spent playing video games.
Tom Griswold
I've been buying them for them for 40 years.
Advertiser 2
The class.
Josh Arnold
And they're not even that old about basements or video games.
Advertiser 2
The class of 2025 includes Defender, the 1981 arcade game.
Josh Arnold
Oh, that is. That's very classic.
Advertiser 2
Tamagotchi. Unfamiliar handheld digital pets.
Jess Hooker
I think it's Tamagotchi.
Josh Arnold
I don't.
Advertiser 2
Oh, yes.
Josh Arnold
They would hatch or whatever, and then.
Advertiser 2
They would have to feed them and make noise.
Josh Arnold
Yes.
Advertiser 2
Like having a mechanical baby. It was Goldeneye 007.
Josh Arnold
That should already be in there.
Advertiser 2
1997, first person shooter video game developed for Nintendo 64.
Josh Arnold
It should already be in there.
Jess Hooker
So good.
Advertiser 2
And Quake, 1996, first person shooter video game. I'm not familiar with Quake winners.
Chick McGee
That's Quisp.
Advertiser 2
Well, you know my story. I won. I won a drawing contest at Lucy's Toy Shop when I was, like, 10 or 11 years old. It was a television show on Channel 10 in Columbus, Ohio. I sent my picture of. There were Quisp and Quake. It was. There were cereals, and I drew Quake. He had a miner's hat.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Advertiser 2
He was Earth. Yeah. And I drew it and sent it in. They sent me an actual plastic miner's hat with a light.
Tom Griswold
Oh, hell, yeah, they did.
Chick McGee
Sweet.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, I entered.
Advertiser 2
My mother hit me with it later.
Josh Arnold
So you also entered at that time.
Tom Griswold
The third serial called Quim.
Josh Arnold
Now, what did you draw?
Tom Griswold
Well, I drew clams.
Josh Arnold
Did they. They mistake it for.
Christy Lee
You know what?
Advertiser 2
I should be really upset, but I'm not.
Josh Arnold
I'm just not.
Chick McGee
Did they switch your medication or something last week?
Tom Griswold
I'm not on any medication.
Chick McGee
Well, you should.
Advertiser 2
I tell you what. Give me a day and a thousand dollars and we'll get you back.
Tom Griswold
The only thing I take is caffeine. I think I may have been inverted. Not use the D. Now, here's.
Advertiser 2
Those are the four that made it.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Advertiser 2
Defender, Tamagotchi, goldeneye, and Quake.
Josh Arnold
Oh, they're in.
Advertiser 2
Okay, they're in here. The 12 finalists that included Age of Empires, Angry Birds, Call of Duty 4, Modern Warfare, Frogger, Golden Tea, Harvest, Mood.
Chick McGee
Golden Tea is not in there.
Advertiser 2
Mattel football, and NBA 2K.
Josh Arnold
Wow, there are a lot. Those are all worthy.
Chick McGee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Advertiser 2
Frog, Mattel Football, Frogger.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, it was that tan console thing.
Tom Griswold
So the Tamaguchi. These are objects.
Jess Hooker
Tamagotchi.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Jess Hooker
Imagine. Imagine your Apple watch. It's about that size, the big one. And it's. I mean, it's very old digital type, right? You know, caricatures, and they'll just, like, make a noise, and that means you got to feed them. So you go in there and you hit the buttons and it's.
Tom Griswold
You're not shooting at anything.
Josh Arnold
No, it's actually, like, I would have considered more a toy.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, it is a toy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jeff Oskay
It was on, like your keychain.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, yeah.
Jess Hooker
Kids would have them on their backpacks.
Tom Griswold
So what is already in the hall of fame? I know that.
Advertiser 2
I don't know.
Josh Arnold
Donkey Kong has to be.
Advertiser 2
Right?
Jeff Oskay
Sure.
Jess Hooker
The original Sega Genesis, Centipede, Space Invaders.
Tom Griswold
But I mean, if they're. If they're allowing whatever it's called, Tamaguchi in there now, this seems to me that they're getting away from video games.
Chick McGee
Well, it's a video game. She.
Advertiser 2
Yeah, it's a video game.
Chick McGee
It's a video game. It's on your watch. It would be like a video game on.
Tom Griswold
So like a vibrator, but you're not gonna have like a dildo in there.
Josh Arnold
Well, unless it really walks the line between toy and video games.
Tom Griswold
The penetrator 2000 won't be in there.
Josh Arnold
Not yet, but there are petitions.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Advertiser 2
And finally, stupid world record. A Polish man has broken the Guinness World record for running the fastest marathon barefoot on ice and swimming snow.
Tom Griswold
People that have Polish heritage are cursing this guy.
Josh Arnold
He. He was going to break it last year, but he. He tried it in Nevada, so he thought.
Tom Griswold
There'S some chilly spots, but he tried. He tried it in early August.
Josh Arnold
Yes.
Tom Griswold
Quite warm. And he was on a lake.
Advertiser 2
Pavel. Pavel Durakiewicz ran 26.2 miles across the frozen lake in Norway in 4 hours, 57 minutes. Norway to claim the time. Durakiewicz, man.
Josh Arnold
I said Norway.
Advertiser 2
You know what.
Tom Griswold
It'S not going to get any better, so you might want to just stop.
Josh Arnold
I wanted to make sure you heard it.
Advertiser 1
Bullseye.
Advertiser 2
Thank you.
Josh Arnold
Thank you.
Advertiser 2
He achieved the feat without suffering frostbite. His feet were bloodied. Oh, and the successful attempt. But he didn't not suffer from frost.
Tom Griswold
Why did they even acknowledge something this dumb?
Advertiser 2
I don't know. No, this is cuz somebody's going to try to do it and they're going to get their feet cut off.
Tom Griswold
Someone? Yeah, someone's going to lose their feet. This is. This isn't an important or interesting.
Josh Arnold
This is an incredible act of.
Jess Hooker
I mean they train for it.
Tom Griswold
Why not have it the fastest hundred yard dash run in 6 inches of boiling water.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, they should try that equally Stupid.
Tom Griswold
Stupid. No, this makes no sense. Why and why would show the strength.
Josh Arnold
Of the human body?
Tom Griswold
What did this guy do in life that he has to.
Advertiser 2
True testament of the human spirit.
Tom Griswold
This is atoning for some horrible sin this guy must have done. I'm going to run on the frozen tundra. And bare feet. Makes no sense.
Josh Arnold
The only thing he's guilty of is being a badass.
Christy Lee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
No, he's an idiot.
Jeff Oskay
Maybe he's just poor.
Tom Griswold
Get some shoes.
Advertiser 2
Maybe he's used to it. Maybe Jeff's right.
Chick McGee
Maybe he grew up that way.
Advertiser 2
He ain't got no snowshoes.
Tom Griswold
It make me feel bad for the guy. No, I'm not even buying.
Advertiser 2
I don't think it's possible for anyone to make you feel bad.
Tom Griswold
Maybe get. Maybe get a Sharpie and draw a Nike logo on his ankles. What a. I'm going to run 26 miles and bare feet in a frozen lake.
Josh Arnold
Good work, sir. I'm proud.
Advertiser 2
You know, I'm. I'm somewhat confused. You seem irritated by this story.
Tom Griswold
This is genuinely pointless.
Josh Arnold
You.
Advertiser 2
You put it together and handed it to me and said this will be fun is what he said.
Josh Arnold
I. I want. Do you think if David Rush had done this.
Advertiser 2
Oh yeah.
Josh Arnold
Would Tom be singing a different tune?
Tom Griswold
No, because David Rush would wear shoes like a human being and he'd be juggling.
Josh Arnold
You're not. You can't change the. Had he done this.
Tom Griswold
This takes no talent.
Josh Arnold
You would you be celebrating.
Advertiser 2
Makes no talent.
Jess Hooker
So run 26 miles takes talent.
Chick McGee
Yes.
Jess Hooker
You have to train for that.
Tom Griswold
But it's track.
Advertiser 2
You ever go out the snow in your bare feet for like 10 seconds? No, it's.
Jess Hooker
It'll wake you up.
Advertiser 2
It's kind of cold, but it's kind of stupid.
Christy Lee
You gotta toughen up his feet.
Tom Griswold
Hey, if you can't afford shoes, work harder, okay? There are plenty of places. And your pair. What size? If this guy's a size 12, I'll send him a pair of mine.
Advertiser 2
Boy, you know, you really do bring it home.
Chick McGee
He's a cup of coffee. How about you guys?
Josh Arnold
Wouldn't it be funny? This Polish guy's running and somebody goes, hey, hey, hey. You don't have to do this. I got some shoes for you. He goes, oh, thank you. It's cold out here. And he put them on his hands, and then he kept running.
Tom Griswold
Or they were bowling.
Chick McGee
Portion of the Bob and Tom show, sponsored by our friends at Java House, the official coffee and refreshments of the Bob and Tom Show. What do we have with Java House there?
Tom Griswold
Well, right now I've got the Post the poster poster.
Jess Hooker
I got our new mugs.
Advertiser 2
Let me tell you something. I saw these Java House mugs, and they also have Java House portable Travel Travel Travel Tumblers. Travel Travel Tumblers.
Tom Griswold
We're doing a special broadcast coming up on the 23rd of May. It's a Friday.
Advertiser 2
That's right. Some broads are going to be in it right now.
Tom Griswold
It's our Carb Day broadcast. Getting Ready for the 109th running of Indianapolis 500, brought to you by Java House. Got a cool poster. I had to redo it to put Pat's black eyebrows.
Jess Hooker
This is my. This is the first time I have a puppet featured. Oh, this is my debut puppet.
Tom Griswold
You know.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Advertiser 2
You know what? And it really, really looks like you.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Advertiser 2
And I don't know. And I don't know how they. They did it, but it sure does.
Tom Griswold
These are pictures of our real.
Advertiser 2
Doesn't that look like Jess the puppet?
Tom Griswold
Yeah, she's got the little helmet of hair now. I should have. You know what? I could have if. If I asked PJ to do one more iteration.
Jess Hooker
Please don't do it.
Advertiser 2
Please.
Jess Hooker
He's gonna run into traffic.
Tom Griswold
I. I could. I could have him.
Josh Arnold
Put your glasses slowly walking.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, I don't hit the walker first. Okay.
Advertiser 2
Oh, my God.
Chick McGee
Java House has.
Advertiser 2
If you listen, you can hear him crying.
Chick McGee
I know.
Tom Griswold
He's one of my only friends.
Jess Hooker
I don't know how, man.
Tom Griswold
Java House is our favorite because it's the official coffee and Java House. The official refreshments of the Bob and Tom Show.
Advertiser 2
Oh, it's a refreshment.
Tom Griswold
Did I say refreshment?
Advertiser 2
You said refreshment.
Christy Lee
That sounds refreshing.
Tom Griswold
Christy. Takeover.
Chick McGee
Java House has the great peel and pour pods. They have teas, lattes, energy drinks. Eat Hot cocoa. And we also want to thank office H2O.
Tom Griswold
We're laughing because Josh, when we first got the pods here, Josh walked in and said this, this hot cocoa was fantastic.
Advertiser 2
Okay? That's all he said. He didn't say he drank nine a day.
Tom Griswold
Now I'm implying that he. He drinks hot cocoa with his pizza slices all morning.
Advertiser 2
Don't talk to me before I buy my cocoa.
Chick McGee
Hey, it's time to break up with your coffee brewer. Get started@java house.com. use promo code Bob and Tom to get 25 off your order. That's java house.com promo code Bob and.
Josh Arnold
Tom, who finished off the cocoa without.
Chick McGee
Making another pot to get 25 off your online order.
Tom Griswold
And you make it a cup at a time with a peel and pour pod.
Chick McGee
That's right, Java House.
Tom Griswold
Very simple. And you can have a. Have a great time. By the way, a special thanks to office H2O. We have the coolest new water system going. I know you said that thing is cool. Thank you.
Advertiser 2
Well, it doesn't exist until he says it.
Jess Hooker
Machine coming too.
Tom Griswold
I like that. It doesn't exist till. That should be a T shirt. I could wear that.
Advertiser 2
I don't know why that just, just came to me.
Tom Griswold
Have we finished sports?
Chick McGee
We're done.
Advertiser 2
Oh, we're done, Danny. Okay.
Tom Griswold
Coming up we have. We have a sheep in the news, Bears in the news and a really cool story about what you shouldn't do with an egg. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Advertiser 2
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. At the Silac Insurance news desk, that's Christy Lee. Hello there' Godwin.
Christy Lee
Hello.
Advertiser 2
Josh Arnold, the IH Steven Singer sidekick chair.
Josh Arnold
Hi.
Advertiser 2
There's Jeff Osk.
Jeff Oskay
Hey, buddy.
Advertiser 2
Being monitored with some sort of heart thing going on there in his chest. I'm Chick. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Hello, Tom.
Tom Griswold
Hello, Chick. McGee. It's good to see you, sir. I believe we've completed our sportscast.
Advertiser 2
Yes, we have.
Tom Griswold
Thank you very much. We've had our tributes to the new Pope.
Chick McGee
Yes, we have.
Tom Griswold
White Sox fan.
Chick McGee
Yep.
Tom Griswold
Formerly Robert, is it? Prevost.
Chick McGee
Prevost. Prevost, Prevost.
Tom Griswold
Okay, Prevost.
Advertiser 2
Pray.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Advertiser 2
Religion. Pope. Pray.
Chick McGee
Father Bob.
Tom Griswold
Okay. And we now turn to the Silac Insurance news desk to see what's happening.
Chick McGee
Well, we're going to switch gears completely. A 24 year old Swedish mom has been convicted of harassment. She apparently cracked an egg on her young daughter's Forehead for a TikTok video. This followed a viral 2023 TikTok trend where parents pranked kids by cracking eggs on their head.
Tom Griswold
Heads.
Josh Arnold
Right.
Chick McGee
Many saw it as harmless, but not all children found it funny. In this case, the judge ruled it was humiliating and not a joke. The 24 year old woman insisted that it was just a silly prank and that everyone was doing it on Tik Tok at the time. But that wasn't enough to impress the judge who.
Josh Arnold
Who pressed charges.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, that's what I'm curious about.
Chick McGee
It doesn't say in my story. I don't know. So bizarre.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. How'd this even get in front of a court? Court?
Tom Griswold
This is what, in Sweden?
Chick McGee
Yep.
Advertiser 2
I don't think they have courts and judges. We know them in Sweden.
Josh Arnold
Do you think the judge is like the Swedish Chef?
Tom Griswold
Who are the two old dudes in the Sesame street that are Statler and.
Josh Arnold
Waldorf on the Muppet Show?
Tom Griswold
Yeah, I. I saw them last night.
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah?
Jeff Oskay
Where?
Tom Griswold
In.
Josh Arnold
In reality, who was in the mirror with you?
Tom Griswold
A fair question.
Christy Lee
He got you back for the first time.
Josh Arnold
Where were they?
Tom Griswold
I was at this restaurant. This, these two. They were great. But the one guy, I have some hearing issues from wearing headphones all these years. No, the one guy, he was shouting in conversation.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
And then I said this poor old dude, he was way up there. But, you know, both. Both had nice. They were sitting there drinking their. Their cocktails and yelling at each other, but not in anger, just. That's how they feel.
Jess Hooker
I love eavesdropping at restaurants. I love it. Just listening to entire conversations. I'd rather do that sometimes than talk.
Tom Griswold
To the people I'm with now. What's the new. What is the new TikTok thing, by the way? Because this was a TikTok challenge. The egg in the head.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Advertiser 2
There's the tortilla. Well, we did the tortilla thing a long time ago.
Tom Griswold
There's a new version of the ice bucket challenge.
Chick McGee
Yeah, it's now that's going around again.
Jess Hooker
Yeah. It's still the ice bucket challenge, but.
Chick McGee
It'S a different challenge.
Jess Hooker
Health, different.
Tom Griswold
Different charity.
Advertiser 2
Is it?
Chick McGee
I think it's your mental health, I recall.
Advertiser 2
Well, that's crazy.
Chick McGee
Okay.
Tom Griswold
The first time it was a als. Yeah, great. I mean, very important. But yeah, I know it because one of my daughters had it done to her yesterday.
Advertiser 2
Oh, yeah.
Tom Griswold
And the trick is they dump the bucket of ice on you and then you nominate someone else.
Jess Hooker
You nominate three more people. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Oh, three. Oh, wow. I believe I'LL be. Are you doing it being victimized this week?
Jess Hooker
All right, send it to us.
Advertiser 2
Why don't you just do it in the parking lot of the hospital just in case. Yeah, just in case.
Chick McGee
Hey, we have a lot of eggs in the news. I know we covered some of this yesterday, but a lot of people missed it.
Advertiser 2
Ever call them cackleberries?
Chick McGee
Cackleberries.
Josh Arnold
I always enjoy that.
Advertiser 2
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Wildlife experts in Florida removed nearly 100 iguana eggs from a single yard.
Advertiser 2
Well, you. We all know iguana iguanas are live births.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
How many?
Advertiser 2
There are no eggs.
Josh Arnold
That's why this is news.
Chick McGee
Human iguana control.
Advertiser 2
Human iguana control.
Josh Arnold
Now, this doesn't mean controlling the human iguanas.
Chick McGee
Actually, humane iguana control.
Josh Arnold
That quite is.
Chick McGee
Yeah, it is. Extracted a total of 98 eggs from three burrows on just one property in Miami. The removal prevents a significant new infestation of the invasive species species and will protect the neighborhood from potential damage.
Josh Arnold
Now, we found out that one gentleman.
Chick McGee
Somewhere was making Marco Island. You're right.
Josh Arnold
Yes.
Chick McGee
He is doing his part to get rid of the invasive iguana population one egg at a time. John Johnson, owner and founder.
Advertiser 2
Oh, you don't have to call me John Johnson.
Josh Arnold
We don't have to hear the.
Chick McGee
He's the owner.
Tom Griswold
I didn't know that was coming. Honestly, I looked over and there it was. Oh, what the hell.
Chick McGee
He's the owner and founder of Down Goes Iguana has been removing the reptiles for years, but decided to do something different when it came to getting rid of eggs.
Advertiser 2
Shoot them out of the trees?
Chick McGee
No, he cooks them up chick, much like you would a chicken egg. Makes omelets combining the yolks with some milk, Latin inspired spices and garlic before whipping them up into an omelet with. With ham, peppers and onions.
Advertiser 2
And it's. Is it egg white?
Josh Arnold
I know, that's the thing.
Tom Griswold
This is how the. This is the origin story of some bizarre lizard Covid.
Advertiser 2
We're all going to be getting chicken eggs, of course, but then duck eggs and goose eggs, right? And ostrich eggs. Ostrich eggs. They all. They all taste like eggs.
Tom Griswold
I guess you had that list of the. Of the 10, here are 13 edible.
Chick McGee
Eggs that aren't from chicken chickens. We have goose, twice the size of chicken eggs. Rich flavor, great for pasta. Octopus, tiny, nutty, often eaten raw or fried. In Japan.
Josh Arnold
Holy hell, you can have them.
Chick McGee
Japan turkey, similar to chicken, but creamier spicy.
Josh Arnold
Hey, Japan, there's plenty of other food out there. Knock it off.
Advertiser 2
Stop Eating bugs.
Josh Arnold
I'm tired of us not calling out.
Chick McGee
Have we had turkey eggs here?
Advertiser 2
I don't want a grasshopper burrito.
Tom Griswold
Hey, you can cook fish.
Jess Hooker
No, no. Turkey egg.
Chick McGee
Quail.
Jess Hooker
Duck and quail.
Chick McGee
Yeah, quail, which is on here. Small, creamy, popular in desserts.
Josh Arnold
Platypus eggs.
Chick McGee
Not on here.
Josh Arnold
Maybe they're not edible.
Chick McGee
How about emu eggs? They're huge, thick shell, feeds a family.
Advertiser 2
Wow.
Chick McGee
It says gelatinous texture, though.
Josh Arnold
Gelatinous.
Chick McGee
Gelatinous is what I meant to say. Sorry.
Josh Arnold
How gross.
Chick McGee
Crocodile eggs. Risky to harvest.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, probably.
Josh Arnold
Hey, Stumpy, can I have another omelet?
Advertiser 2
How'd you lose your hand?
Chick McGee
The ostrich egg is edible. It's the largest egg, has 2, 000 calories in each one and apparently are hard to cook. I don't know why.
Jess Hooker
Who was it, Gordon Ramsay that cooked one?
Josh Arnold
Yeah, yeah.
Christy Lee
Chicken eggs are hard to cook.
Jess Hooker
They are if you're pet.
Chick McGee
What else do we have? Turtle eggs.
Advertiser 2
Eggs.
Chick McGee
Leathery shell, rubbery whites. Illegal in most countries.
Josh Arnold
A lot of those reptile eggs are leathery.
Chick McGee
Not duck, which we've talked about. Gull. Rare, fishy taste. But they're prized in England.
Advertiser 2
Did you see the video of the white smoke coming out yesterday at the Vatican? And there are two or three seagulls just standing there going, so what?
Chick McGee
Right. Obviously we have caviar, pheasant and guinea fish. Foul. So there are the eggs that you can eat.
Tom Griswold
No, no need to get.
Josh Arnold
No, no.
Tom Griswold
Start throwing names around. Speaking of the Vatican, I. I was doing a little bit of research on this. It's interesting. The. The new Pope, of course, from the south side of Chicago, a poll. And Augustinian rather than a Jesuit, the.
Josh Arnold
Previous Pope, Francis, you go Jesuit instead of Jesuit. That's interesting.
Advertiser 2
I don't know. I don't care for that. Instead of Jesuit.
Tom Griswold
Jesuit.
Advertiser 2
Can you say Jesuit instead of Jesuit?
Tom Griswold
Did I say Jesuit?
Josh Arnold
Yeah, you do, yeah.
Tom Griswold
Sorry.
Advertiser 2
No, it's fine. I mean, it's an accident that I'm not.
Tom Griswold
In any event, it's my understanding that I've done a little bit of homework, made a few calls. I do know people and ladies.
Advertiser 2
And here he is now.
Tom Griswold
Oh, I. This is. Is this it?
Advertiser 2
No way.
Tom Griswold
Can you answer the phone, please?
Advertiser 2
Hello? Bob and Tom show. They can hear you. Tom, Hello.
Pope Leo XIV
Bless you, boys. This is a poll.
Advertiser 2
That.
Josh Arnold
Right.
Pope Leo XIV
I got a phone number sitting here. Frank left a phone number. It says a caller. Bob and Tom. And it has a number here. This is a pub. This is Leo. Who. Who this?
Tom Griswold
This is Tom That's Chick, there's Josh. Yeah. We got Jeffrey here. And now, actually, interestingly enough, Pat was an ultra boy.
Christy Lee
Yes, I was.
Pope Leo XIV
This is the Bob and the Thomas show. Yeah, this is too cool. I used to hear you guys sometimes in Chicago.
Advertiser 2
Oh, nice. Yeah. Great.
Tom Griswold
I'm glad you listened. Yeah.
Pope Leo XIV
Oh, this is Pope Leo. I don't know if you guys have heard, I'm a Pope now.
Advertiser 2
Yeah.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
How about that?
Pope Leo XIV
How amazing is it that you got any changes?
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Yes, Pat Godwin is here. Yes.
Christy Lee
Nice to meet you.
Pope Leo XIV
Hey, how you doing? Hey, I was thinking me and you, we could do a big hit song, you know?
Josh Arnold
Yes, sir.
Pope Leo XIV
I just. I was thinking about this. You know the Band of Cream?
Christy Lee
I do.
Pope Leo XIV
They got that song White Room? I was thinking we do. There's some white and the Pope now.
Advertiser 2
Crazy.
Tom Griswold
I like that.
Josh Arnold
Crazy.
Christy Lee
You're an American Pope. How about that?
Tom Griswold
Oh, yeah, you're an American Pope. Good Pope.
Pope Leo XIV
I got a big old hat. You're going to see me do that.
Christy Lee
We'll work on it.
Josh Arnold
Very nice.
Tom Griswold
Nice. How about Sweet Pope Chicago? These are all great songs.
Advertiser 2
No, I don't like that one, Tom.
Tom Griswold
Well, there's a new TV show coming up. Chicago Pope, Chicago Pope.
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah.
Christy Lee
What do you think about that, Pope?
Pope Leo XIV
What's that coming up.
Advertiser 2
Instead of Chicago Hope? Chicago Pope.
Pope Leo XIV
Oh, that's an old TV show, right?
Tom Griswold
It's all about. It's all about you. You're. You're. Are you gonna make any American Americanizations of the Vatican or anything?
Pope Leo XIV
No, we don't want to do anything too drastic, you know, But I'm thinking what we might do. We might maybe. Maybe we have a pro baseballer team, huh? Come from the Vatican. You're like a dad, huh? Have they already used the name of cardinals? Korea's cardinals?
Christy Lee
They have.
Josh Arnold
That is out there already. Yeah.
Pope Leo XIV
Doggone it.
Tom Griswold
I guess.
Pope Leo XIV
That's no good.
Tom Griswold
How about podcast? Oh, wait a minute.
Pope Leo XIV
The Padres.
Tom Griswold
Okay. Sorry. I am.
Pope Leo XIV
I am gonna.
Tom Griswold
I gotta.
Pope Leo XIV
Gonna change out the popo mobile, you know.
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah.
Pope Leo XIV
It's gonna be a black and a white cruiser. You know, the Bluesmobile.
Advertiser 2
You like that?
Josh Arnold
I love that.
Christy Lee
Yes, that's pretty. Chicago.
Pope Leo XIV
Everybody thought, oh, boy, a popo from Chicago. This is no good. He's gonna blow it. He's gonna be. This is gonna be so stupid. It's gonna be. Oh, what's his name gonna be? Pop Pope did not gonna be walking around going, d. Bears.
Tom Griswold
Hey, how about the Bears?
Josh Arnold
That's right.
Advertiser 2
That ain't.
Pope Leo XIV
That ain't Pope like You know what I'm saying?
Chick McGee
Not Popish at all.
Josh Arnold
Well, a lot.
Pope Leo XIV
I got a lot of stuff to do.
Tom Griswold
You're weird. I gotta.
Josh Arnold
You are a busy man, I imagine.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Pope Leo XIV
Oh, so busy. First of all, I gotta go take a hat lessons.
Josh Arnold
Yes.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, you got a lot of different ones to wear.
Pope Leo XIV
Nobody tells you. Nobody tells you this stuff. They think, oh, it's gonna be great, you be a Pope.
Advertiser 2
Yeah, this is great.
Pope Leo XIV
Now I'm gonna go take a hat lesson, learn how to walk around in a dress. It's awful.
Tom Griswold
Did you get to sleep in your new place last night?
Pope Leo XIV
I've hardly been to sleep. Are you crazy? There's so much going on. Do you know what time it is there?
Josh Arnold
No, I'm not sure now.
Pope Leo XIV
Me neither.
Christy Lee
25 or 6 to 4. Chicago.
Tom Griswold
Oh, ye.
Pope Leo XIV
The Chicago Pope.
Tom Griswold
I'm.
Pope Leo XIV
I'm a liking all of this stuff.
Tom Griswold
We're wishing you were here. Does the Pope wear a watch?
Chick McGee
I don't know.
Pope Leo XIV
Oh, I love this joke.
Advertiser 2
I don't know.
Tom Griswold
I know you wear the ring now. Did you get your own?
Chick McGee
Yes.
Pope Leo XIV
Gotta have the ring.
Tom Griswold
Oh, he gets a new one.
Chick McGee
I think he gets a new one. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Is it from that organization that makes those high school rings?
Chick McGee
Oh, her Jones.
Josh Arnold
I thought it was a Da Vinci Coder ring.
Christy Lee
Oh, this is all good.
Tom Griswold
You're.
Josh Arnold
Get the Pope to hang up. I gotta.
Pope Leo XIV
I gotta find a. I gotta find a papal pen to write that down.
Tom Griswold
Okay, well, your popus, it's great talking to you.
Christy Lee
Pen and paper.
Pope Leo XIV
If I had more time, I would hang out and talk to you boys some more. Christy, honestly, you're the only one I want to talk it to.
Tom Griswold
You're the only one.
Advertiser 2
We get that a lot.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, yeah, you.
Pope Leo XIV
You're a good Catholic girl. Maybe you could talk some sense into these boys.
Chick McGee
I'll try.
Christy Lee
Us heathens. Yes, all you heathens.
Pope Leo XIV
Well, it hadn't worked so far. What, he been there 30 years or so?
Tom Griswold
Hey, Pope, you're losing your accent. Well, thank you very much. Hang up. Hang up.
Pope Leo XIV
Get that out of here. No, I'm a hang up over you.
Advertiser 2
That's right.
Josh Arnold
He's the Pope.
Tom Griswold
Boom.
Chick McGee
Well, that was a nice surprise.
Tom Griswold
I didn't think from the south side of Chicago his accent would be that Italian.
Chick McGee
Is that what that was? Kind of, yeah.
Jess Hooker
He's been there for a little bit.
Tom Griswold
Okay, well, Christy Lee, of course, reporting for duty from the Silac Insurance news desk. I want to remind you why, what it's all about when it comes to the Silac Insurance Company. It's all about you're retiring down the road and making sure when that time comes, you've got the cash coming in. So here's how it works. You've got a lot of volatility in the stock market, of course. And how would you like to have something that can counter that volatility? That's where annuities come in. The way they're set up. You're gonna have a guaranteed paycheck coming in, by the way. You can't outlive your money. So find out how it works, see what restrictions apply and if you are in fact eligible by going to the Silac Insurance Company and asking some questions, in fact, you can actually just call them up. It's pretty simple. You just hit £250 and say the keywords lifetime income. That's £250. Say the keywords lifetime income just to get information about this. You don't want to think about life down the road. Yeah, I think you do. You don't want to be just trying to live on your Social Security when that time comes. See everything you need to know about annuities by seeing the folks at the Silac Insurance Company. You can also go online. S I L A C I N S dot com. That's the Silac Insurance Company plan. On it. Live on it, Christy. Coming up, I know we have bees in the news. What else?
Chick McGee
We also have sheep in the news and we have coming up, the biggest cities in the United States that are sinking.
Josh Arnold
Sinking?
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
What are you talking about? We are in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Advertiser 1
Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Tom Griswold
You.
Advertiser 2
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. There's Christy Lee. Hey, Pat Godwin. Hey, Jess Hooker. Hey, there's Josh Arnold.
Josh Arnold
You'll do this or you get your text. Top lip stuck on your teeth.
Advertiser 2
He's dried his teeth so his lip sticks on his.
Christy Lee
Too much cocoa.
Josh Arnold
I said I do it. I think we should all do it.
Advertiser 2
There's Jeff. Okay.
Chick McGee
Hello. Is like what?
Josh Arnold
Yeah, it's going to dry off your top lip there.
Advertiser 2
You got suck in some air.
Josh Arnold
You put it up on your gums there.
Tom Griswold
I can do it. Yeah. Wait, hang on.
Advertiser 2
They shut her out. They talk like that.
Chick McGee
Yeah, like see your teeth.
Josh Arnold
Fire Marshalville Fire and Marshall. Phil, let me tell you, I have that.
Christy Lee
That's A pretty good impression.
Advertiser 2
I love the last eight. Is kerosene.
Chick McGee
Who's Fire Marshall Phil?
Jess Hooker
Bill, please show the proper living color. It was a Jim Carrey character.
Tom Griswold
You go to too many parties. Amazing.
Chick McGee
I do. I go out. I don't sit in front of my tv.
Tom Griswold
I can't do it.
Advertiser 2
I don't set in front of my television. As a matter of fact, you wouldn't know if I had a tv.
Christy Lee
It's barely turn it on at all the parties I attend.
Advertiser 2
Unless there's an automobile race on. Yeah, that's right.
Tom Griswold
And.
Advertiser 2
And then when there's a race on, she comes over and says, honey, you know what I'd like to do? And I say, what? She goes, let's add a room to this house.
Tom Griswold
Doesn't she let you go apple picking?
Advertiser 2
And then we'll go apple picking. And we'll go look for old furniture that used to be in other people's houses.
Tom Griswold
I know when we go. When we go apple picking, are apple trees high enough to hang myself.
Christy Lee
Do you go apple picking?
Advertiser 2
No.
Josh Arnold
No, I go apple picking.
Advertiser 2
I don't.
Josh Arnold
My family, we usually go once a year in October.
Advertiser 2
You and your three brothers and your mom and dad. Yeah, you, your three brothers and your.
Josh Arnold
Mom and my nieces and nephews and sisters in law.
Christy Lee
You make a whole weekend out of it.
Josh Arnold
We go for a Saturday. Half a Saturday.
Chick McGee
Then we go do the maze and.
Tom Griswold
Do they have cider?
Josh Arnold
And they do have cider. They have a maze. They also have a pumpkin patch. So we do it all, baby. It's an autumnal wonder.
Jess Hooker
I love it. That was my favorite field trip with my kids was the apple orchard.
Jeff Oskay
That was my first job, was working at the apple orchard. That's the one we went to picking up dropped apples for 50 cents a bushel. And what they do is they take all the rotten apples and that's what they make cider out of.
Josh Arnold
Whatever they do is fine with me. It's delicious.
Advertiser 2
I've heard that one rotten apple will not ruin the whole batch. Have you heard that, baby?
Josh Arnold
Now, is that true? How often were you stung by bees?
Jeff Oskay
Every day.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
The only one who loves apples more than people. Bees love apples and rotted apples on the ground.
Tom Griswold
That actually is a perfect segue.
Chick McGee
A hungry bee. Hungry bee. A hungry bear was caught breaking into an Ohio. Is it apiary?
Advertiser 2
Apiary.
Chick McGee
Apiary.
Advertiser 2
That's where I keep the apes.
Josh Arnold
Yes, that's right.
Tom Griswold
I'd never heard that word.
Chick McGee
I've never seen this.
Tom Griswold
I saw it and I had to look it up. I thought. I thought they meant aviary, but they.
Josh Arnold
Oh, no. Yeah.
Advertiser 2
No, it's for apes.
Tom Griswold
How do you pronounce.
Chick McGee
It's not for apes.
Tom Griswold
Is it apiary or Apiary?
Josh Arnold
I've heard apiary.
Advertiser 2
I've heard ap.
Josh Arnold
And that's how I read it. I read often.
Chick McGee
You don't sit in front of your tv. You read. Right.
Advertiser 2
I'm a big reader.
Christy Lee
He also picks apples.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Advertiser 2
Yeah. Boy.
Chick McGee
Well, where. Whatever it's called.
Christy Lee
That's why they call them names in Pittsburgh.
Chick McGee
The bear.
Advertiser 2
Yeah, that one name. Yeah.
Chick McGee
The bear broke in and ate an entire hive. So it must be a place where bees live, huh?
Tom Griswold
Yeah. So the bear breaks in to the bee's house.
Chick McGee
Beekeeper Jeff Bonner told WFMJ that motion activation.
Advertiser 2
We used to be a radio station, now we're tv.
Chick McGee
WFMJ captured activity at his apiary with video showing a bear rummaging through his hives. Mr. Bonner rushed over, found the bear had taken a hive into the woods. He said, it looks like the bear ate the frame. The wax that was there and the bees, everything was gone.
Advertiser 2
AP area, location where multiple beehives are kept for the purpose of honey production or for providing pollination services.
Josh Arnold
Yes. And I was checking to make sure it is apiary. And it is. Yeah.
Advertiser 2
Okay.
Tom Griswold
And you can I. In defense of the bear, I didn't know what an apiary was. So he saw the sign and went, what the hell's in there? And said, I want to look. Honey.
Jess Hooker
It's a buffet for him.
Tom Griswold
So, I mean, presumably the bee starts stinging the bejesus out of his mouth while he's eating.
Chick McGee
Apparently, it doesn't affect a bear because they do this a lot.
Tom Griswold
They do.
Josh Arnold
And yeah, apparently it doesn't affect. If they feel it, they don't care.
Chick McGee
I don't care. The bear, apparently, the hybrid, it took.
Advertiser 2
That's how that sweet, sweet honey carries every.
Chick McGee
Anywhere from 10 to 50,000 bees.
Tom Griswold
We need lots of bees in our culture.
Chick McGee
Yes, we do. We need the bees.
Tom Griswold
But then, bears versus bees sounds like a Pride month promotion at a gay bar tonight.
Jess Hooker
Of all the places I thought he was going.
Christy Lee
Boy, I didn't see that coming.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, me either.
Josh Arnold
I didn't know he was going somewhere. That would feel like I was punched in the stomach.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, I thought he was going to do like an alien versus predator type thing.
Advertiser 2
It's like we're all brothers and sisters and we're talking about our crazy dad who's at the retirement home. Well, I didn't Think he was going to say that?
Josh Arnold
Hey, are you going to Bears vs. Bees night at the Blue Oyster? What was the gay bar in Police Academy? Every Police Academy movie, they always end up in this gay bar in the same song. Play. I think it's the Blue Oyster.
Tom Griswold
Well, I think it's time to play our new song.
Chick McGee
Oh, we have a new song about the Pope.
Tom Griswold
We did a tribute to the Pope. The Pope, of course. Chicago. Go now is pronounced prey. What is it?
Chick McGee
Prevost. Prevost.
Tom Griswold
Prevost. Robert Prevost. Okay. But he's. He's from Chicago. He's now the Pope. This is great. Pat has a. Pat's an altar boy.
Advertiser 2
Go ahead. There was a lot of information there. Real quick.
Tom Griswold
You were an altar boy for a.
Christy Lee
Short period of time.
Tom Griswold
You get to keep the suit.
Advertiser 2
However he was.
Christy Lee
No, that's a cassock and surplus. Those are sacred.
Josh Arnold
They go back.
Chick McGee
Keep them in the back.
Christy Lee
Special place.
Chick McGee
Yes.
Tom Griswold
Okay. Just asking. Don't get all mad about it.
Christy Lee
Are you ready? I'm Leo the 14th I am Leo the 14th I am, I am I can't marry the widow next door Cuz I couldn't be the Pope no more all these years I've been celibate Celibate Slept with a Nelly or a Sam no Sam I'm the brand new Pope from Chai town Leo the 14th, I am second, first, same as the first I'm Leo the 14th I am Leo the 14th I am, I am I can't marry the widow next door Cause I wouldn't be the Pope no more and all the years I've been celibate Celibate. I slept with an Ellie or a Sam no Sam I'm the first Pope that Samantha American Leo the 14th, I am, I am Leo the 14th I.
Chick McGee
Am.
Tom Griswold
All right, thank you very much. Coming up, more frivolous and pointless things. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Advertiser 1
Become a Bob and Tom VIP and get your Bob and Tom Fix 24. 7. Get all the info in the VIP area at Bob and Tom.
Tom Griswold
That's helping.
Advertiser 2
Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. At the Silac Insurance news desk, it's Christy Lee.
Chick McGee
Hi.
Advertiser 2
There's Pat Godwin.
Christy Lee
Hi, Chick.
Advertiser 2
Hello, Jess Hooker.
Jess Hooker
Hi, Chick.
Advertiser 2
There's Josh Arnold. I hate Stephen Singer, sidekick, chair. Yes, Jeff Oskar's here. I'm Chick McGee. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios whole. Hello, Tom.
Tom Griswold
Hey, how's it going?
Josh Arnold
Hey, man.
Advertiser 2
We were having fun last week. We tell everybody about that. We were laughing and talking about something. You were there. You were here. And Tom goes, hey, hey. And I go, hey, we're having fun. And he says, no, you're not.
Josh Arnold
Oh, I'm sad I missed it.
Advertiser 2
I love stuff like that.
Tom Griswold
It's necessary. Ask any kindergarten teacher. Every once in a while, you have to lay down the law. Trevor, cut it out.
Advertiser 2
Okay.
Tom Griswold
We asked a question a couple weeks ago, and I want to see if we can get an answer. I'm wondering if anyone still. If any school still use the dunce cap.
Josh Arnold
I can't imagine.
Chick McGee
No way.
Tom Griswold
I'm not suggesting it's a good idea.
Advertiser 2
I don't.
Tom Griswold
I'm just curious.
Advertiser 2
I don't. I don't remember ever hearing about the dunce cap in anything but some sort of a movie or a cartoon or ancient literature.
Tom Griswold
Broadway. Yeah, we did have.
Advertiser 2
Did you have a dunce?
Tom Griswold
No. No. But there was. There was a thing in which one would have to go to the corner.
Josh Arnold
Right.
Tom Griswold
I'd be.
Josh Arnold
I'd kind of be surprised if that still happens.
Jess Hooker
I don't think it does. I think you can isolate kids.
Advertiser 2
Our defensive lineman coach, Mr. Cochran, was my world history teacher, and he made me go out and look for Santa Claus one time. Now you go there and stand by that window, get on your tiptoes, you let me know if you see Santa Claus. And don't sit down till I tell you.
Josh Arnold
They've made being a teacher impossible. You can't do any kind of. I can't imagine disciplining.
Jess Hooker
I was a substitute teacher when my kids were in school, and they had a. A color system, so it was.
Tom Griswold
Oh, Lord.
Advertiser 2
Oh, okay.
Josh Arnold
That's a long time ago.
Jess Hooker
Red, yellow, green.
Josh Arnold
Sure.
Jess Hooker
So if you're on green, you're having a good day, you're good to go. If you move to yellow, we've had to warn you a couple times. In red, we had to say, send a note home to your mom.
Josh Arnold
I miss the days. Email your mom, my shop teacher. Throwing chalk at the kid who wouldn't shut up and. Or even doing worse, chalk and erasers.
Chick McGee
Probably not a good day to bring up Sister Linda and what she used to make us do.
Jess Hooker
What she did.
Chick McGee
She would draw a little circle on the blackboard. You would have to put your nose in it and your arms outstretched, and she would put a book on each arm.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. That's crazy.
Advertiser 2
Wow.
Chick McGee
Oh, yeah.
Advertiser 2
What is this? Usually tribes with Jan Michael Vincent.
Chick McGee
That's called Catholic school in the 70s.
Advertiser 2
Remember, he helped hold buckets of sand. Yes. Yeah, he was in the army.
Tom Griswold
That's. Did you ever have it. Were you ever a victim?
Chick McGee
Me?
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
Good kid.
Jess Hooker
How many Catholics in the room? Four of us.
Christy Lee
I was raised.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Jess Hooker
I switched as an adult.
Josh Arnold
Yeah. I'm Christian, not Catholic.
Tom Griswold
Okay.
Advertiser 2
So I was born an Aztec. I'll die in Aztec.
Tom Griswold
I thought you were a. A wig.
Advertiser 2
Now that's my political party.
Tom Griswold
You can be an Aztec and a wig at the same time.
Advertiser 2
Yes, we have a sp.
Josh Arnold
They are rare, but. Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Wow, that's weird.
Advertiser 2
It used to be the Afghan wigs, now it's the Aztec.
Tom Griswold
Okay, good to know.
Josh Arnold
Well, you don't hear much about the Afghan wigs.
Advertiser 2
I just jumped up or notched down in a lot of people's mind.
Tom Griswold
I'm all in favor of a new party. Let's bring on. What are we going to call them?
Advertiser 2
I don't know. Why the wigs available.
Tom Griswold
Is that still to any of that. Yeah, isn't that. Don't they already have a philosophy and a.
Advertiser 2
Well, we could. We can massage some things.
Josh Arnold
I'm sure we're gonna rebrand a little bit.
Advertiser 2
Absolutely.
Tom Griswold
I mean, it's confusing. I still can't get used to Red not being lefty commie.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, I know.
Christy Lee
That's a.
Josh Arnold
That's not necessarily.
Chick McGee
Can we, like, not talk about this?
Advertiser 2
You're the only one who said. Ever said red Lefty commies. Since 1958.
Tom Griswold
No. That's been the. Ever see the movie Reds with Warren Bates?
Chick McGee
Hey, Chick, we missed the story yesterday. White Castle teaming up with the shoe company Heelys for an unusual spin on footwear.
Advertiser 2
Heelys. The accident to the emergency room waiting to happen.
Tom Griswold
And we had to explain if you.
Chick McGee
Want to do the splits and not know it, we had.
Tom Griswold
There were some that didn't quite get it.
Christy Lee
Pat, I didn't know.
Chick McGee
You didn't know what a Healey was.
Tom Griswold
Heelys are these tennis shoes and then the back, toward the aft, if you.
Josh Arnold
Will, towards the heel. Hence the name Heelys.
Advertiser 2
Would you.
Christy Lee
Preference?
Josh Arnold
They only started.
Tom Griswold
They have wheels in the back.
Chick McGee
Right.
Tom Griswold
Heel plus wheel Healy. That's a. That's a portmanteau.
Chick McGee
My God.
Jess Hooker
I don't want to do this.
Josh Arnold
They're a tough.
Advertiser 2
Listen.
Tom Griswold
Yes. This whole story. And Pat goes. I don't get it.
Chick McGee
The limited edition collection of White Castle branded Healey shoes features a tongue that looks like a cheese slider, by the way.
Tom Griswold
See? Get it? Slider. That was the whole gag.
Chick McGee
They will be available in sizes U13, 2 men's 13, and cost $75.
Tom Griswold
I tried it last year with gloves. Didn't go over as well. Not that many people could.
Advertiser 2
I'm sorry.
Josh Arnold
What else do I skate on? Their hands?
Tom Griswold
Stand and skate.
Chick McGee
They'll be sold exclusively on Healy's website starting May 15th. Also known as Write this down. Whoever does our food. National Slider Day.
Jess Hooker
I'm ordering.
Chick McGee
Need White castles on the 15th.
Josh Arnold
I'm going to to eat 50.
Jess Hooker
I'll pick them up on my way in.
Advertiser 2
All right. Babaloo guts. We gotta be in here. My man can eat 50.
Chick McGee
Actually, I've told you guys the Thursday.
Josh Arnold
Embarrassing news that I came in out of five guys, I came in fourth in a White Castle.
Advertiser 2
How many did you eat?
Josh Arnold
I don't remember. But it wasn't. I mean, my friends, the disappointment on their faces, I. I can still remember how they look.
Chick McGee
Were they betting on you or something?
Josh Arnold
Yes, they thought I had in the bag.
Advertiser 2
Hey, Josh, I don't know if you caught that insult, but when you said the disappointment of my friend's faces, Tom says, I know how they feel.
Tom Griswold
Right now. Right now, for instance, I thought you were going to say that you won the contest.
Josh Arnold
Dude, everybody had me winning and I didn't. But I still won the. The overall Mr. RSH rock with Summit High.
Christy Lee
Ah, yes.
Josh Arnold
Oh.
Advertiser 2
So there were other factors, not just the white contest.
Chick McGee
Did you win the bikini contest?
Josh Arnold
I did win Best Legs.
Tom Griswold
Ok. What is this competition? I've never heard of this.
Josh Arnold
Our school had. I don't know if any other high schools had that, but it was Mr.
Chick McGee
Ours does.
Josh Arnold
Okay. Yeah. It was essentially a male pageant, and there were many, many categories and people voted on you and stuff like that.
Chick McGee
I got to judge Mr. Zionsville.
Tom Griswold
Did you dance and sing?
Josh Arnold
No. For the talent contest, I did magic. I came out and I.
Christy Lee
Well, we need to see some magic.
Advertiser 2
This is.
Josh Arnold
This is literally what I did. I came out and I said to the ordinary eye, this is just a pencil, but if you look closely, it's actually made out of rubber. And I did the rubber pencil trick and to like, nothing, obviously. And then I said, here, I have a Twinkie. I will make this disappear. And I slowly ate it in like five bites. Now the audience is catching on what I'm doing, and it ended up murdering.
Jess Hooker
Okay, all right.
Josh Arnold
And then I took out X ray glasses and I just looked around the crowd and pointed and laughed.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, that's very good.
Josh Arnold
So it was slow start, but I.
Tom Griswold
Try that in your little show. How do you do the rubber pencil thing?
Chick McGee
You won the competition.
Advertiser 2
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, look at how I'm pretty good at it. See how rubber that is?
Chick McGee
Tom's never seen that before.
Advertiser 2
Look at him like a dog watching. He's like a dog watching a dryer.
Christy Lee
We all did that.
Josh Arnold
Look how good this is.
Christy Lee
That was a biggie.
Chick McGee
Look how good this is. I've never seen that.
Jess Hooker
Did your guys's high school have where you voted, like, most popular, prettiest?
Josh Arnold
Yeah. We also had teachers that taught us never to say you guys's.
Jess Hooker
Oh, sorry. Did you guys.
Advertiser 2
I don't want to brag, but I was voted funniest. But there were Was also best sense of humor, and that was a different guy.
Josh Arnold
It's better to be funniest.
Advertiser 2
I wanted to be best sense of humor. I thought more erudite. I thought it is maybe funniest. I had my. My puppet in my locker.
Tom Griswold
So they nailed it.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, they printed them in the yearbook and everything.
Josh Arnold
Oh, yeah. There's a plaque in the high school and my name is the first. I was the very first Mr. Rsh.
Chick McGee
Oh, nice.
Tom Griswold
Did they give you like a. A jacket or something?
Chick McGee
Did you get a crown just on that.
Christy Lee
Did you win the rollerblading?
Josh Arnold
We came in second.
Christy Lee
Did you spill your hot cocoa?
Advertiser 2
Now, how did they compile the voting for Mr. Rockwood? Summit Hive. The students would vote or.
Josh Arnold
Yes, students would vote. Teachers may have been able to vote too. And then there was one portion of it where you gave pennies to. As a voter, you could give pennies and then the person who filled up the jar, most of their. You know, if their penny jar was fullest.
Jess Hooker
And I won that.
Josh Arnold
So the popular voters.
Chick McGee
Yeah, of course. Okay, you're Mr. Popular.
Josh Arnold
It didn't get me late at all. Just so you guys know, no tang with Mr.
Jess Hooker
Neither.
Chick McGee
Too nice.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Christy Lee
Gotta be a bad boy to get the 10.
Jess Hooker
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Tom Griswold
Well, you missed it.
Advertiser 2
Tough.
Tom Griswold
Oh, that's very exciting, Josh. I didn't know about that.
Josh Arnold
The vice principal offered, but I said.
Jeff Oskay
Did you try the rubber. Rubber pencil trick with your member? That'll get the latest.
Christy Lee
Every time he drinks too much.
Tom Griswold
Well, it's long and thin, but soft. Do you feel like.
Advertiser 2
Like you feel like you might want to go home and lock yourself in your house?
Chick McGee
Yes.
Advertiser 2
How about Simplisafe, the do it yourself design yourself home security system? And we trust it here at the Bob and Tom studios. That's where we got the cameras and the system and Simplisafe. Millions of Americans enjoy the new standard in home security and greater peace of mind every time they arm their system. Simplisafe has active guard outdoor protection. What's that, Chick? Well, AI powered cameras from Simplisafe backed by live professional monitoring agents monitor your property and detect suspicious activity. If there's a lurker around your compound, Simplisafe agents can see and talk to them in real time, activate spotlights and even call the police. All before they have a chance to get inside your home and touch your stuff. No long term contracts or cancellation fees. Monitoring plans start affordably at around a dollar a day. And there is a 60 day satisfaction guarantee or your money back. So go to simplisafetom.com and take advantage of this offer. Claim 50% off a new system with professional monitoring plan and your first month free. 50% off, first month free. Go to simplisafetom.com there's no safe like SimpliSafe.
Tom Griswold
Thank you very much, Chick McGee. Coming up, we have a sentencing of a criminal we talked about on this show. You may remember him as the cucumber guy. We also have news from New Zealand that's really quite exciting. And is your city sinking? We're gonna find out. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Advertiser 2
Sorry, Tom. We were having fun.
Tom Griswold
Sorry.
Josh Arnold
No, you weren't.
Advertiser 2
There's Christy Lee.
Christy Lee
Hey, pat Godwin, size 12.
Advertiser 2
There's Jess Hooker. Hi. Hello, Josh Arnold.
Josh Arnold
Hi, Chick.
Advertiser 2
There's Jeff Oskay.
Jeff Oskay
That's right.
Advertiser 2
I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom.
Tom Griswold
Hello, everybody.
Advertiser 2
Hello. And this is Leo Sayer. Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Most of my life I thought that was the Bee Gees.
Jess Hooker
I did too.
Chick McGee
That's fair. That's a fair thing.
Tom Griswold
It sounds like the Bee Gees at their worst.
Advertiser 2
No, no, nothing. Up tempo. You liked it?
Tom Griswold
Worse. Is that one of us?
Advertiser 2
You hate them.
Chick McGee
Mining disaster song.
Advertiser 2
I gotta get a message to you.
Tom Griswold
Messages. Turn off the radio.
Advertiser 2
Now we were New York Mining Disaster 1938 or something.
Tom Griswold
I got a letter here.
Jess Hooker
Sounds beautiful.
Tom Griswold
Hello, Bob and Tom Show. Have a marvelous day. From Zach.
Josh Arnold
Well, thank you, Zach. Hope you do too.
Advertiser 2
Hey, Zach. Z dog.
Tom Griswold
Z dog with a ch.
Chick McGee
All right, now, people spell Zach.
Jess Hooker
Zachary is usually what that implies.
Tom Griswold
Yes?
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Z. A C, K is also a possibility.
Advertiser 2
Well, but that's most often Zach attack.
Tom Griswold
Oh, the Zach attack.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Chick McGee
What Zach want?
Tom Griswold
He says. Wait a minute now.
Advertiser 2
No, no, I'll follow. Chrissy's up with.
Tom Griswold
Get to it. Get on with it.
Advertiser 2
Get to it.
Chick McGee
I apologize. I've had a long week.
Tom Griswold
In the early 2000s, there was a private plane company in my area that would take couples up so they could join the Mile High Club. No way.
Chick McGee
Didn't we?
Tom Griswold
I kind of. I think it was.
Chick McGee
That was in Cincinnati, maybe somewhere. Where's he live?
Tom Griswold
I could not convince my wife to use the service prior to it being shut down.
Advertiser 2
Is that right?
Christy Lee
Not very private.
Tom Griswold
That would be so awkward.
Chick McGee
Well, for you. Why? Who is it?
Advertiser 2
Oh, you mean that everybody on the plane would know why you're on the plane?
Chick McGee
There's only two people on the plane and the pilot. It wasn't like it was on.
Tom Griswold
What's the pilot going to do up there?
Christy Lee
There's a curtain, maybe.
Advertiser 2
I bet there's a door.
Jess Hooker
I bet there's a door.
Advertiser 2
You know what the pilot's going to do? Keep his mouth shut is what the pilot's going to.
Tom Griswold
They're like an air filter. I mean, it's the whole thing.
Josh Arnold
See, the problem, though, is the pilot.
Jess Hooker
How smelly is your filter?
Tom Griswold
What are you doing?
Advertiser 2
What is your deal with people have sex, you think there's an awful odor. Why is that?
Tom Griswold
Apparently you guys are doing it wrong.
Advertiser 2
Well, no one's pooping on anybody. I can tell you that.
Josh Arnold
I sit between all of you. Tom is right. There should be some kind of musk second. But the pilot could easily. You get up there and he walks out of the cockpit with a video camera and goes, all right, get to it. Hey, we're not going to do that. You want to land or not?
Jess Hooker
Now we know the kind of pilot Josh would be.
Advertiser 2
There's two ways you can make it to the ground. Huh?
Tom Griswold
That I said. I. I do remember the story. Now that I think about it, that would be very, very awkward.
Jess Hooker
I wonder if it was a traditional, like a small plane, like six or eight seater, or if there was actually a bed up there that got a.
Chick McGee
Small plane that they probably outfitted for this.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, I would want it to not be outfitted.
Jess Hooker
No, I want it to be just like a plane.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Yes.
Tom Griswold
Oh, that makes it dirtier.
Advertiser 2
No, no, I'd want. I'd want a round bed and a chandelier.
Christy Lee
Oh, like the Lisa Marie.
Jeff Oskay
I want a kid kicking the seat behind me.
Josh Arnold
I'm only aware of one person in this building that has. That is a member of that club. Is anybody?
Jeff Oskay
I am not.
Josh Arnold
Okay, yeah, I'm not.
Christy Lee
I know a someone who is.
Josh Arnold
Okay. Yeah. Maybe we know the same person.
Advertiser 2
I haven't had sex since 1937.
Tom Griswold
How about that?
Advertiser 2
Check it out. The records are available.
Tom Griswold
Okay. I. I thought it was in Cincinnati. So I googled Cincinnati.
Josh Arnold
I bet a lot came up.
Advertiser 2
You know, very big. I know you'll correct me if I'm wrong, because you just googled Cincinnati, but I think that's where the Red. The Reds play there.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, I know.
Chick McGee
I probably got a game coming up.
Tom Griswold
With the word sex. All I found was two people. Check. Charged with having intimate relations on the Sky Star Ferris wheel.
Advertiser 2
I thought you were gonna say sky Star ferry. Okay, never mind.
Tom Griswold
It's. Yeah. Wow. That's serious business.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
On a Ferris wheel. That kind of makes sense, I guess. Let me think here. Can anybody else see you on a Ferris wheel?
Jeff Oskay
That one you can. And I've seen the video. And the side is glass.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
And you just see the woman on her knees and the guy sitting on the bench. And the problem is everyone with their cameras.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were very visible in that one.
Tom Griswold
Well, yeah, I don't see anything about the. About the airplane thing, but I think it was. I remember reading about it a long time ago.
Chick McGee
I remember doing that story. It just seems like it would be very uncomfortable to do it in a small plane anyway, even if it's not outfitted, especially because.
Josh Arnold
Right.
Chick McGee
Very tight quarters.
Josh Arnold
But to me, that's the. That's kind of the part. That's part of the discomfort.
Tom Griswold
It sort of lacks any spontaneity. Yeah.
Chick McGee
When you're doing it in the bathroom on the way to London or something. That's kind of hot.
Advertiser 2
Did you just say your problem with something would be there's no spontaneous behavior?
Tom Griswold
That is odd coming out of my mouth.
Advertiser 2
The behavior that you've squeezed out of the show. Is that what you saying?
Tom Griswold
Yes.
Advertiser 2
Okay.
Josh Arnold
Not all sex is spontaneous. There are couples out there that don't walk around going, boy, I hope she says yes.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Advertiser 2
Things to do. Check.
Josh Arnold
I sure would love to get lucky with my wife tonight.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
Boy, I never want that life ever, ever.
Advertiser 2
Hey, no way to live. Boy.
Chick McGee
I don't think all guys think that every day.
Josh Arnold
I would hope they would go, knowing if I. Oh, boy.
Chick McGee
How do you think they do it? Do they just.
Josh Arnold
I'd like to think that there's always a mutual interest.
Chick McGee
Oh, by the way, we're having sex tonight. Is that how it works?
Josh Arnold
I kind of like that, don't you?
Jess Hooker
Oh, the anticipation part, yeah.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. But the. There's also the scheduling. And that would happen. Christy, when you were in the stages pre. What's it called? Ivf, you were trying to get pregnant. There's a thing where. Hey, you know, didn't you feel like.
Josh Arnold
The right ovulation times, you.
Advertiser 2
And I went through the IVS with her, and she was on it.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, absolutely. Hey, that was like, all of a sudden, she's. She's in the middle of a newscast and goes, wait a second. I got to get out of here.
Advertiser 2
The number three. Yeah, the number three and number five earners on Only Fans.
Tom Griswold
That's.
Advertiser 2
That is nothing to scoff at. That's right.
Tom Griswold
So it must be in the. It must be in the water in Ohio, because the other thing that came up when I Googled it is two arrested again in Ohio. This time a Ferris wheel at Cedar Point. Flagrant delecto foreplay in Ohio. Oh, nice.
Advertiser 2
Nice.
Tom Griswold
This went to five play, apparently.
Chick McGee
Well, you sit on the top of those Ferris wheels for a long time.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, I couldn't get it up. I'm so horrified.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, I. I tried. That's right about it online at the state fair here.
Chick McGee
Oh, you did?
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Jeff Oskay
I could not. Yeah. Apparently my penis is terrified of heights.
Advertiser 2
Well, it's bad enough when it happens on the ground, right? It's so tall. See? And at least you didn't look at.
Josh Arnold
You and go, you know, this happens to every guy I bring up here.
Tom Griswold
At least the last guy was hung like a corn dog.
Christy Lee
Stay fair.
Tom Griswold
Oh, God. Let's see. Yeah, I can't. I can't find the. The. The one about the Mile High Club. Sorry.
Josh Arnold
Oh, that's okay. We. I mean, that Zach's letter, I think, was enough. That's covered it.
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
I'm sure surprised it folded.
Jess Hooker
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
You'd have to charge a lot, though, to be in a private plane up there, right? Yeah.
Tom Griswold
It was just so awkward. The cleanup. The cleanup.
Josh Arnold
Is there any space other than, like, is there any public space that you're kind of interested in. In having sex?
Chick McGee
Love Cloud Las Vegas. Here you go, kids.
Josh Arnold
Like the It's a Small World ride or dressing room. A dressing room in a. Like, a Kohl's. What about. Yeah, yeah.
Chick McGee
Live out your wildest dreams with Love Cloud's private Mile High Club. Flights out of Las Vegas.
Josh Arnold
Oh, sure.
Chick McGee
Unparalleled unique experience. Breathtaking views. Adrenaline rush bucket list. Adventure bucket.
Tom Griswold
Hit that bee heart.
Christy Lee
Hey, look at that canyon. Okay, I was talking about the Grand.
Chick McGee
Private and discreet. It says memorable and intimate. It's an unforgettable journey in the clouds.
Tom Griswold
He knows that. One drop in the air, they whirl on this banner.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Tina and Ed going at it.
Chick McGee
There you go. The gold package for 60 minutes. Flight for two by the way a flying with more than people additional.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, I have a guess too. What are you?
Advertiser 2
23.99?
Josh Arnold
I'm saying 3500.
Christy Lee
I'll go with 4000.
Jess Hooker
No, it's not that high.
Chick McGee
2000 1695.
Josh Arnold
A deal. A bargain in any state.
Advertiser 2
Yeah. I thought 23.99 was low.
Chick McGee
Well, if you're. If you're quick, you can go cheaper. 30 minutes is 9.95.
Christy Lee
Well, that'll cost me. Yeah.
Advertiser 2
You know what though? Yeah, that's not long enough for me.
Josh Arnold
I'd have to start.
Advertiser 2
I'm gonna have to get back right on the ground.
Josh Arnold
I'd have to start during taxiing.
Chick McGee
I love this because it says if flying with more than two people, an additional fee for each of individual passenger upcoming to 2, depending on weight restrictions. I guess you could have no fatties. I guess you could have quite the experience if you want. Oh, this is.
Christy Lee
Oh my gosh.
Jeff Oskay
I wonder if anyone's ever tried to do it on the. The zero gravity one. The vomit comet.
Josh Arnold
Oh yeah.
Advertiser 2
Where the floor falls away.
Jeff Oskay
Well, no, where they go high enough to actually gravity.
Tom Griswold
But that's only zero. Zero gravity for a parabola. Less than a minute, right?
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, that's plenty.
Josh Arnold
You want to time your completion. The guy, he's like kind of flexing and so pumped.
Chick McGee
Couple coming off of the flight.
Josh Arnold
They had a great time.
Chick McGee
Oh yeah, look at him.
Josh Arnold
She's wiping her chin.
Jess Hooker
That's a middle aged couple spicing things up.
Christy Lee
They look very happy.
Advertiser 2
They are not married to each other.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, exactly.
Christy Lee
Both cheating.
Josh Arnold
They're too happy there. Yeah.
Advertiser 2
Yep. No way in hell would you consider.
Jess Hooker
It public if you did it on a boat.
Christy Lee
Oh, that's a good question.
Josh Arnold
Yes, but it doesn't have to be around people. I see what you're asking.
Tom Griswold
You mean like a ferry boat going across?
Jess Hooker
No, like the boats that like in Michigan.
Tom Griswold
If it's just the two of you.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
Oh, no, that's not in public. Okay.
Jess Hooker
Okay.
Josh Arnold
No, if. If another boat can come because I've. My brothers and I while fishing in coves have come up on boats.
Advertiser 2
That's sick.
Josh Arnold
And then two people after. After 10 minutes pop up and then they leave. They could just be relaxing. They could be doing it.
Tom Griswold
Know that old joke about light beer?
Josh Arnold
Oh yeah. It's effing close to water.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. It's much better when you have a brand name. Light beer.
Josh Arnold
Right, right.
Tom Griswold
And a. And you can use the F word in its glory and splendor. Hey, if you're just joining us hello, how are you? Oh, it's good to see you. Thank you. We certainly appreciate it. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is, this is the Bob and Tom show and we have Christy Lee with a couple more quick news stories. Is that correct? You're at the Silac Insurance news desk.
Chick McGee
A Washington D.C. man was sentenced this week for a series of public sex acts involving cucumbers and handrails.
Josh Arnold
Which senator was it?
Christy Lee
Handrails.
Chick McGee
Handrails. I don't know exactly what that means, but the.
Tom Griswold
I didn't give you the whole. He was. This guy.
Josh Arnold
Was the handrail up? Was he? Roger back.
Tom Griswold
Got to be back rubbing up against them.
Chick McGee
DC News now says Anthony Rogers Hines II pleaded guilty to five counts of lewd acts and four counts of unlawful entry.
Tom Griswold
By the way, the unlawful entry, the complainant was a cucumber.
Chick McGee
Last fall, Hines was caught on camera sticking a cucumber in a car grill, then using it to pleasure him so anally.
Jess Hooker
Wait, wait, what was.
Chick McGee
He stuck it in the car grill and then backed up to it.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, he backed that thing up.
Josh Arnold
He got rear ended.
Advertiser 2
Well, wait a minute. Is that wrong?
Chick McGee
From the front he was repeating repeatedly filmed doing similar acts in the area. One video showed him.
Josh Arnold
He's not hurting anybody.
Chick McGee
Sodomizing himself with a rake handle in a backyard.
Jess Hooker
Oh my gosh.
Jeff Oskay
That's why it's important to put away your tools.
Josh Arnold
You know, you put it up, you put it in there like that and you run. You're gonna rake some leaves.
Advertiser 2
Yes, yes.
Chick McGee
He trespassed onto a porch, slid up and down on a pine cone shaped metal railing while performing st. Sex acts.
Advertiser 2
That is a hell of an act.
Josh Arnold
He loves it.
Chick McGee
He was sentenced to 360 days in jail. What the hell?
Tom Griswold
That's not really much of a punishment.
Josh Arnold
No, it isn't.
Chick McGee
No.
Tom Griswold
What are you in here for?
Jess Hooker
Oh, good playground for that guy.
Tom Griswold
Yeah, it's gonna be your, it's gonna be your birthday every night. Now, Pat, I know that you have a song about a similar scenario that.
Christy Lee
Involved pickles in Florida. Almost the same scenario.
Chick McGee
Oh, really?
Tom Griswold
Cucumber is just a pickle that hasn't. Yeah. Been pickled.
Chick McGee
Right.
Josh Arnold
Oh, this is that semi autobiographical number. You freak.
Christy Lee
There's a lot, there's a lot of me in the song. Yes.
Josh Arnold
I'm sure.
Christy Lee
Go enjoy a hot cocoa.
Advertiser 2
And a slice of pizza.
Christy Lee
Pickles, pickles. I like pickles. You can eat a pickle on a motorcycle. Enjoy a pickle on pumpernickel. I sure love a Good pickle, garlic, dill, a big old gherkin. But please don't abuse one while you're jerking. So no butt stuff with your pickle. No need to make a fudge sickle.
Advertiser 2
Yikes.
Christy Lee
I thought I'd get a bigger laughter polish one. Sweet ones. I love pickles. Bread and butter pickles. Baby, I'm not fickle. Put the cucumbers in the brine, but please don't stick them where the sun don't shine. You're gonna get legal fees and fines. You'll do a nickel getting naked with a pickle. Stuck on a chain gang with a sickle. Shower time comes and the water trickles. You're gonna get a big ass pickle.
Tom Griswold
Thank you very much. Oh, wow.
Josh Arnold
Are you guys pickle eaters at the fair or theme park movies?
Tom Griswold
Yes.
Josh Arnold
Oh, you're the one.
Jess Hooker
I love a pickle.
Christy Lee
Yeah, I do too.
Tom Griswold
What's the big deal?
Christy Lee
Oh, boy, you're having so much fun.
Josh Arnold
No, you weren't. Those kind of jokes are his bread and butter.
Jess Hooker
Don't restart.
Josh Arnold
Hey, I can't beat him.
Tom Griswold
Well, thank you very much. Very exciting.
Josh Arnold
Oh, isn't it though?
Tom Griswold
Right now I want to tell you something. This portion of the Bob and Tom show is sponsored by better help. BetterHelp is all about accessing therapy. And this happens to be Mental health awareness month. And some people. I saw the survey. 26% of Americans who participated in a recent survey said they've avoided seeking therapy and mental health support because fear of being judged. As they say, it's time to break the stage stigma. The world is better when everybody's feeling healthy and happy. Better Help is all about you accessing therapy. And it's all done online. So it's a different, different ballgame now. You don't have to deal with going to some office and leaving wherever you are to get it done. You can do it where you are at your convenience. And There are some 30,000 plus licensed therapists with a variety of specialties all participating in this program. You can be part of it. There are more than 5 million people who are using the services of BetterHelp. The way it works is the therapy is done online. So it's kind of like a zoom call or it can be just a telephone call or it can even be texting back and forth or whatever works for you. Get the details@betterhelp.com and add this, add this little thing at the end there, slash BTShow. That'll knock 10% off your first month. BetterHelp help.com b t show when we come back, Christy Lee, we have some exciting news from the world of your city. It could be sinking.
Chick McGee
That's right.
Tom Griswold
We'll find out about that. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show.
Advertiser 1
Want to share something? Send us an email. Bob and tom@bobandtom.com this is the Bob and Tom show.
Tom Griswold
Coming up.
Advertiser 2
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk.
Chick McGee
Hello.
Advertiser 2
There's Pat Godwin.
Christy Lee
Hey, Chick.
Advertiser 2
He sings a song every now and then.
Christy Lee
Every now and then.
Advertiser 2
There's Jess Hooker. Hi. There's Josh Arnold.
Josh Arnold
Hi there.
Advertiser 2
At the I hate Stephen Singer sidekick chair, there's Jeff Hoskay. Hello, I'm Chick McGee and hello. Tom Griswold.
Tom Griswold
I think I may have found a little more information. We had a letter about, about a service, an airplane, private plane service that would take people up if they were interested in joining the so called Mile High Club.
Chick McGee
Correct.
Tom Griswold
A club in which people engage in intimate activities at a certain height. The easiest way to join this, by the way, is just take a trip to Denver. You can drive or hump wherever you want.
Advertiser 2
Yeah.
Tom Griswold
You're in a five Mile High Club pretty much automatically. There was a airline called Flamingo and Air.
Advertiser 2
Oh, you got to do it on one leg.
Josh Arnold
Yeah.
Advertiser 2
You ever done that?
Tom Griswold
Based, based in Cincinnati.
Advertiser 2
Yeah.
Josh Arnold
There was a Charlie Horse incident.
Advertiser 2
Thank you.
Tom Griswold
That was offering so called flights of fancy, providing couples with the quote, unique opportunity to join the Mile High.
Advertiser 2
Well, aren't you fancy.
Tom Griswold
And now this is from the early 90s. $495 was the fee at the time.
Advertiser 2
Ah, in the 90s.
Jess Hooker
That's cheap.
Advertiser 2
Well, what does it cost now?
Tom Griswold
I don't think this is still happening in Vegas.
Chick McGee
We just said in Vegas at 1600.
Advertiser 2
Right.
Tom Griswold
I don't think this particular. And it says the pilot would wear a, would be in the cockpit, obviously wearing noise canceling headphones to quote, ensure discretion.
Jess Hooker
Sure he was.
Chick McGee
Yeah.
Jess Hooker
Right.
Tom Griswold
So there you go. There you have it. That would be so embarrassing.
Chick McGee
Would you do that?
Tom Griswold
No.
Josh Arnold
God, he just said it would be so embarrassing. But not to anybody involved here and.
Advertiser 2
Not to anybody in the room when he's so embarrassed.
Tom Griswold
Embarrassing. So you would do this?
Advertiser 2
Well, yeah.
Josh Arnold
Why wouldn't you?
Chick McGee
Why wouldn't you do something fun for.
Advertiser 2
A J instead of, well, where it's time to make a child turn the lights on.
Tom Griswold
I can just see it. Aren't you.
Chick McGee
I guess it is light up there.
Tom Griswold
Aren't you, Chick McGee.
Advertiser 2
Oh, I'm gonna tell everybody I took you on a flight.
Josh Arnold
Can you imagine?
Advertiser 2
So what I would tell Tom's girlfriend.
Josh Arnold
Comes up, kisses him on the cheek. Honey, honey, the shades are open.
Advertiser 2
Oh, yeah. My God. A little decor. Just a ball of fun, aren't you?
Tom Griswold
I assume this is no longer in business, right?
Josh Arnold
That one doesn't sound like it is.
Advertiser 2
But there is one.
Chick McGee
Vegas?
Advertiser 2
I hope not.
Tom Griswold
No, no, it's. I, that's.
Advertiser 2
You know, we're way overdue for another couple shows in Vegas.
Tom Griswold
Oh, no, no.
Josh Arnold
Just send me and whoever else wants to.
Tom Griswold
No, it's the worst.
Josh Arnold
I love it so much.
Tom Griswold
Because if. If you're on the air, Eastern Daylight.
Josh Arnold
I don't have to be on the air. Just send me.
Chick McGee
Well, you do.
Tom Griswold
Oh, wait a minute now.
Advertiser 2
Oh, oh, this will be.
Josh Arnold
Send me to do this sex on the plane thing.
Tom Griswold
Okay. This says Flamingo Air, still in business, offering the flights of fancy out of Lun Airport in Cincinnati.
Jess Hooker
We could do a fan giveaway. Have sex with Josh in a plane there.
Chick McGee
Wait a minute.
Tom Griswold
And open to both. Open to people of any gender.
Jeff Oskay
Are we allowed to enter?
Tom Griswold
Whatever you're into. I. I'd like you to meet Steve. Josh.
Josh Arnold
So I'm the ninth caller.
Advertiser 2
What?
Tom Griswold
I win? Well, you get a nice tattoo and you get to get sodomized by Josh.
Josh Arnold
Hey. Oh, so I'm the giver.
Tom Griswold
Oh, is that. Does that make you want to do it even more?
Josh Arnold
Well, it's a little better than receiving.
Tom Griswold
In what way?
Chick McGee
What do you mean in what way?
Jess Hooker
Literally, how Tom doesn't see a difference.
Josh Arnold
Between catching and pitching.
Tom Griswold
Right.
Jess Hooker
Really?
Chick McGee
Boy, that says a lot about you, buddy.
Tom Griswold
No, I'm just speculating on what I thought it was interesting that Josh had already decided how it was going to be. I don't know if this is accurate information, but London Field, Cincinnati. No, I'm just reading this on the Internet, so God knows.
Josh Arnold
That's wild. This is the first I'm hearing of this service.
Tom Griswold
Let me if I can.
Josh Arnold
I don't think it counts.
Advertiser 2
I would rather he's going to try to call him or something.
Josh Arnold
I'd rather join the Mile High Club on a commercial flight.
Advertiser 2
The only way to do it. That's the way God intended.
Tom Griswold
You're already. You're already uncomfortable on a. You're a man of a certain size, you'd be uncomfortable. You're already uncomfortable.
Advertiser 2
He sounds like a circus freak. Come and see a man of a certain size.
Josh Arnold
Look at how uncomfortable he is trying to cram himself how many rows will it take to comfortably fit this?
Christy Lee
Love a lavatory.
Josh Arnold
Hell, will the plane even take off with a man of this size?
Tom Griswold
Whoa.
Chick McGee
The flights have been suspended.
Advertiser 2
Okay.
Jeff Oskay
Yeah, I don't want to have sex in Cincinnati anyway. I don't. I don't like sediment.
Josh Arnold
Oh, boy. It's a Cincinnati chili joke. Yeah.
Advertiser 2
Oh, did they.
Jeff Oskay
I wanted to run it into the ground before the show ended.
Tom Griswold
Did they make you.
Advertiser 2
Mission accomplished?
Tom Griswold
Do they make you have a little bit of that special chili with spaghetti and skyline. A little skyline chili before you.
Advertiser 2
That's what we were talking.
Tom Griswold
I know. I'm just.
Chick McGee
Oh.
Tom Griswold
Expanding it for the rest of the.
Advertiser 2
I'm a pretty girl.
Tom Griswold
Not everyone is familiar with the concept of chili.
Advertiser 2
Not everyone knows what chili is, or spaghetti, for that matter. They might not have ever heard that word.
Josh Arnold
I wouldn't mind hearing some of the cities that are sinking.
Tom Griswold
Okay, this is a cool.
Josh Arnold
I have some that I would love to go.
Advertiser 2
Let's start with where I'm sitting.
Chick McGee
According to a new study, all the largest cities in the US Are sinking. All of them. Using recent satellite data, researchers studied all US cities with populations exceeding 600,000 and discovered that in 25 of the 28, 2/3 or more of the area sinking.
Advertiser 2
Yeah, that checks out.
Chick McGee
Scientists determined that groundwater removal for human use was the cause of 80% of overall sinking.
Josh Arnold
Oh, I dart humans. What a. I hate stories like this.
Tom Griswold
You know what the big part.
Chick McGee
Oh, you're going to hate this even more because I only have store. I only have one city.
Josh Arnold
What is it? New Orleans?
Chick McGee
No, Cincinnati. Fastest sinking city. Houston, with more than 40% of its area.
Advertiser 2
Well, now, wait a minute. Houston is all paved now. That's why they have so much trouble with floods and things. Am I making words? My point is so.
Jess Hooker
It's so heavy, it's making it sink.
Chick McGee
Oh, well, 1/5 of an inch per year. And 12% of the city is sinking at twice that rate.
Tom Griswold
That's. You're all wrong.
Josh Arnold
What do you mean? She just read.
Tom Griswold
You know who lives in Houston?
Josh Arnold
Who?
Tom Griswold
Chuck Norris.
Chick McGee
Oh, my God.
Jess Hooker
No, no.
Tom Griswold
Chuck Norris is doing push ups.
Josh Arnold
He's pushing the earth down.
Chick McGee
I see some spots are sinking as much as 2 inches per year.
Jeff Oskay
Thanks for saving my horrible line.
Tom Griswold
What's your.
Josh Arnold
No, no, we'll never forget that.
Tom Griswold
What is your joke?
Advertiser 2
I already did it. You had to walk us through Chile, remember?
Josh Arnold
Can't wait till Monday.
Jeff Oskay
Oh, don't worry.
Josh Arnold
Yeah, I know.
Jeff Oskay
I'm going out on a high note.
Tom Griswold
I like that joke. This is fascinating. I mean, this. Hey, look, Christy, I know you just moved. That may be beach property before you know it.
Chick McGee
Yeah, well, there you go.
Tom Griswold
Or at least riverfront property.
Josh Arnold
Speaking of Cincinnati, is there any. I don't think there's any imminent danger for us, though. No, of course, it's just another one of those stories to make people feel bad for existing.
Chick McGee
That's what all stories.
Tom Griswold
There are a couple islands that are going to be underwater in a few years.
Josh Arnold
Good, good. It's been happening forever. Atlantis. Yeah, that sank.
Tom Griswold
You think so?
Josh Arnold
There's evidence.
Advertiser 2
What kind?
Jess Hooker
Yeah, no, that's in the Bahamas.
Advertiser 2
They had one of the largest malls in the history of the world underwater.
Josh Arnold
Now, plenty of evidence that Atlantis was the thing.
Tom Griswold
Well, where is it?
Jess Hooker
In the.
Josh Arnold
Where's the evidence? I'll send you. I'll send you.
Tom Griswold
Where's the.
Josh Arnold
Where did it go underwater?
Christy Lee
In the Bahamas.
Jess Hooker
To the Bahamas.
Tom Griswold
We can find the. We can find the boy.
Josh Arnold
How hard do we have to laugh at that, Jess, before it's a hotel in Nassau?
Chick McGee
Have you.
Christy Lee
Have you been there?
Josh Arnold
Yeah, I'd love to go.
Christy Lee
They have the best hot cocoa.
Josh Arnold
Oh, it sure is lovely here in the Bahamas. I get a hot cocoa.
Advertiser 2
I don't think I've ever said this. What a week. No kidding. Holy hell.
Tom Griswold
Yeah. Christy, do you want me to give you the list of all of the cities that are sinking?
Advertiser 2
Yes. And read them slowly and give us. Give us at least six facts about each one. Let's start. Go ahead. What city?
Josh Arnold
I mean, anything on the west coast has to be.
Tom Griswold
That's. There's just too many of them. I can't.
Jess Hooker
Are you serious?
Tom Griswold
Yeah.
Jess Hooker
You just told us you were gonna.
Josh Arnold
Are they only here in America?
Tom Griswold
Houston is. Has the distinction of being the city that is sinking. The fact that fastest, with more than.
Advertiser 2
40% of its area, in five years, it'll be an inch underwater.
Josh Arnold
Do you think the fattest cities are sinking faster?
Jess Hooker
That's what I was thinking.
Josh Arnold
The people with the fattest people are heavy.
Tom Griswold
You think that's the problem?
Josh Arnold
Well, no, it's. According to this, it's groundwater.
Tom Griswold
But you think it's there too many fat people?
Josh Arnold
Not in my opinion. I think we need more fat.
Tom Griswold
Maybe we'd get them to move.
Josh Arnold
Where would you send all the fat people?
Tom Griswold
You can go to Libya with the rest of the folks that are being sent there for real soon.
Jess Hooker
What are you doing?
Chick McGee
What are you doing?
Josh Arnold
I love that he's a trouble.
Advertiser 2
Did you hear? What?
Tom Griswold
Did you hear? What?
Advertiser 2
A relative newcomer. Jess just said. What are you doing?
Josh Arnold
Tom just comes in, throws mousetraps on the floor and we have to walk.
Tom Griswold
You haven't seen those T shirts. Livia needs fat people. Okay, nevermind. Thanks for joining us. Hope you had a great time.
Advertiser 2
Yeah, yeah, I want to just do it all again.
Tom Griswold
These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios and this is the Bob and Tom Show.
Advertiser 1
Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom show this morning. Catch any, any part of the show you missed later Today on our YouTube channel.
Chick McGee
Former MLB All Star Sean Casey, aka the Mayor, keeps hitting it out of the park.
Josh Arnold
Take my 30 years of experience. Take the wisdom and knowledge I've learned from the failures when I got sent down my rookie year, all the injuries.
Advertiser 2
I had to overcome.
Josh Arnold
Your mind is the most important tool.
Advertiser 2
You have in life.
Advertiser 1
Be relentless.
Advertiser 2
Keep charging.
Josh Arnold
It matters how you talk to yourself, how you look at the world.
Advertiser 2
That matters. We talk about that.
Josh Arnold
I don't know.
Tom Griswold
I'm fired up.
Josh Arnold
Baseball's back and it's going to be incredible.
Advertiser 2
I love it.
Chick McGee
The Mayor's office with Sean Casey from.
Tom Griswold
Believe, Follow and listen on your favorite platform.
Podcast Summary: The BOB & TOM Show - May 9, 2025
Introduction On May 9, 2025, The BOB & TOM Show delved into a mix of comedic banter, current events, and lighthearted discussions, centering notably around the surprising election of the 267th Pope, Robert Prevost, an American from Chicago. The episode, rich with humor and engaging dialogues, offers listeners both entertainment and insightful commentary on unexpected developments within the Catholic Church.
1. The Election of Pope Robert Prevost
Timestamp: 02:15
The primary focus of the episode was the unexpected selection of Robert Prevost as the new Pope Leo XIV. Prevost's election marked a significant shift, being the first American Pope and a member of the Augustinian order, diverging from the traditionally Jesuit background of recent Popes.
Notable Discussion:
Robert Prevost's Background: An Augustinian missionary from Chicago, with extensive experience in Peru.
Quote:
Christy Lee (01:08): "Thanks a lot for letting me stay here until we get Mom's memorial service put together."
Humorous Speculations: The hosts speculated on Prevost's adjustments to his new role, including his potential involvement in local Chicago culture and sports.
Quote:
Tom Griswold (04:00): "He's from Chicago. Did you notice he's a White Sox fan?"
Cultural Integration: Discussions highlighted how Prevost might incorporate his American roots into his papacy, balancing tradition with modernity.
Quote:
Advertiser 2 (03:50): "I'm the first Pope that is American."
Key Insights:
2. Humorous Banter and Pop Culture References
Timestamp: 09:18
The episode was interspersed with playful jokes and pop culture references, especially revolving around the new Pope's cultural background and the hosts' attempts to relate his traditions to American norms.
Notable Moments:
Hippo Humor:
Quote:
Advertiser 2 (08:08): "I wonder what that means."
Popemobile Speculations: The hosts humorously debated potential changes to the traditional Papal transportation, suggesting whimsical ideas like a "wiener mobile."
Quote:
Tom Griswold (25:08): "He’s gonna have that silly hippo song."
Key Insights:
3. Listener Letters and Interactive Segments
Timestamp: 46:37
The show incorporated listener interactions, reading letters and responding to audience comments, thereby fostering a sense of community and engagement.
Notable Interaction:
Letter from Zach:
Quote:
Christy Lee (49:02): "I’ve had a waterbed since 1987..."
Key Insights:
4. Sports News and Commentary
Timestamp: 46:37
The sports segment provided updates and humorous takes on recent games and player performances, maintaining the show's blend of information and entertainment.
Notable Discussion:
NBA and MLB Updates:
Quote:
Chick McGee (63:24): "Former MLB All-Star Sean Casey, aka the Mayor, keeps hitting it out of the park."
Key Insights:
5. Miscellaneous Stories and Anecdotes
Timestamp: 84:04
Beyond the central themes, the episode featured various short stories and humorous segments ranging from pet mishaps to quirky urban legends.
Notable Moments:
Dog Poop Incident:
Quote:
Tom Griswold (44:43): "I took the dogs out for a walk... forgot the bags."
Invasive Species Control:
Quote:
Chick McGee (104:52): "Extracted a total of 98 eggs from three burrows..."
Key Insights:
Conclusion
The May 9, 2025 episode of The BOB & TOM Show masterfully combined current events, particularly the landmark election of Pope Leo XIV, with humor and listener engagement. Through witty banter, insightful commentary, and relatable stories, the hosts provided a rich and entertaining experience for their audience. This episode exemplifies the show's ability to blend serious topics with lighthearted humor, ensuring listeners are both informed and amused.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps
This comprehensive summary captures the essence of the episode, highlighting key discussions, humorous interactions, and insightful commentary, all structured to provide a clear understanding for those who haven't listened to the show.